Pages

The Morning Drive

I like to think of myself as a pretty level headed and calm person. I don't really stress out about things in life that I have no control over, and at the end of the day if an issue doesn't really effect the big picture of life, I don't worry about it. I accept people for who they are and try to respect their perspective. However, I had a moment the other day when my grounded, inner peace, Zen loving state of mind deserted me.

I was driving home from work on interstate 93. I set the cruise control as usual, a little faster than the speed limit,so not to piss off any other motorist, but not a speed that would draw attention from any lurking authorities. I slid a homemade CD of relaxing spa music into the stereo and I'm on my way. There was a good amount of traffic that day and everyone was moving along smoothly. I had been driving for about 20 minutes when I notice a extended cab pick-up truck coming up in the left hand lane to pass. The truck slowly makes it's way past me and I see that a gentleman is driving and his passenger is a pretty woman with long blond hair. He remains in the left lane once he's passed me and I'm impressed that he seems to want to gain some distance before pulling over to the right. I'm not real happy with those drivers that think they have to pull right in front of you once they are barely passed. To continue the story, pick-up truck is driving in the left lane, I'm a bit behind and in the right lane, I am now coming upon a slower moving car in front of me. I pulled out behind pick-up into the passing lane. Pick-up truck man seems to have slowed down a little, as I am coming up on his bumper and my speed hasn't changed due to the cruise control. So here we are, pick-up truck man still in the left lane not passing, and me stuck behind. I'm a little irritated because I just want to get home and it appears, as I watch pick-up truck man and Blondy chatting it up, that he is not paying attention to anything going on on the road. I now have three more vehicles behind me trying to use the passing lane. After about 7 miles of this, the car in the right lane appears to have sped up a bit. Yes! I will just move back to the right lane. So I do. Now the car in front of me is slightly ahead of pick-up truck man, but not enough for me zip around and get out of this mess. I check the rear view, now there are 5 cars behind the truck and he is still oblivious to anything but the sweet little tart sitting next to him. We are all traveling at about 64 miles an hour. At this point I notice that I am becoming really irritated. I'm gripping the steering wheel a little hard and starting to utter not so nice names I've come up with for the dumb-ass in the truck. Then, miracles of miracles, Pick-up truck man speeds up. He still refuses to pull over into the right lane, but at least he's moving. Three of the now seven cars behind him pass me. I'm getting excited because just maybe I will be able to finally get around the car in front of me. Another two of the convoy pass me..... well almost. Pick-up truck man has now slowed down again. Now, I am really utterly pissed. Still trapped in the right lane, I'm screaming at pick-up truck man and his blond bimbo. I jab at the eject button on the CD player and throw the spa CD into the back seat. Eyes bulging, teeth clinched, profanities flying, I grab the Cradle of Filth CD my son left in my car and jammed it into the stereo. I notice other drivers are pissed too, but I have really lost it.This fiasco has been going on now for almost 30 miles! Then all of a sudden through my red haze of anger, I see a blinking light! Praise God! The car in front of me is turning off an exit! I get ready to floor the gas peddle, and can see another car up ahead in the right lane. This means I will need to get past dumb-ass pick-up truck man fast enough to have room to pass the next car up ahead. OK. I'm ready, foot's on the gas, death metal's blaring, window's are down, and dumb-ass speeds up! I floor it and fly by pick-up truck man with my middle finger waving in the air out of the window and my voice screaming all combinations of swear words and insults that I could come up with.

I did finally calm down. These are the things that I learned:

You can't be perfectly calm all the time
There are stupid people out there
If I could understand the lyrics of Cradle of Filth music, I'm sure they aren't nice.