At this rate, he needs no
introduction! It’s sad when your series has better reviews than episodes. After
the Retropokon first year anniversary special, where Doctor Pandemia appears
for some reason, John decided to make a soft-reboot. It means that he started
his continuity from zero with remakes of the episodes he liked the least. John’s
Monster was the first, based on the first installment of the entire Johnverse.
Surprisingly, it was good! Not amazing, but we weren’t expecting something
spectacular coming from John.

AM: Interestingly, it’s the best
remake of a bad first episode I can think of in any webseries…

John Show is the equivalent to
level zero in an audiovisual product for the web. Absolutely every problem you
could have with any particular webseries could be applied to a Johnpisode.
Since the John’s Monster remake had a positive reception by people who couldn’t
stand the originals, it was used as a template for every single remake. They
were just longer, “epic” with quotation marks, with more characters, most of
them stolen, BORING RPG battles and a new storyline. Since I already analyzed
the Bizarro John Remake with Nostalgia Skapokon, people use to ask me to talk
about the others.

AM: My answer is NOOOO, because
that would require repeating mistakes.

You have the entire outlook between
the original review that inspired the remakes, Bizarro John and this special.
Adding a continuous storyline to a selection of improvable episodes isn’t a bad
idea*. Specially if it’s going to culminate in the supposed ending of the
series. Yes, of course it will… Episodes like the Horror Mansion or Bizarro
have MORE than TWO versions. John will recycle his own content** until leaving
the web or achieving perfection, which isn’t going to happen. The new plot
details Darkpokon’s rising, who is a Nostalgia Skapokon doppelganger. It wants
to destroy every universe because… it’s a Weegee.

*”Special appearance by Auronplay”:
Reference to “Bad Animations 33: David Chanatos in Maniac Mansion”, which was
advertised as a collaboration with Spanish youtuber Auronplay just for having
audio clips from him. The same way that John acts like Panpizza from Rebeltaxi
is actually in the Darkpokon Saga.

**Abe Simpson: “OF COUUUUUUUURSE”

AM: No, seriously, that’s his
explanation!

-And who is Oellam? And why… (I
then realized that Oellam is Malleo backwards)

It’s also Bizarro John, the CD-I King
from John vs. The King in the remakes and has some surprise appearances in
Retropokon. The John Show finale after the Darkpokon Saga is basically a bad
version of what The Dreamscape Kingdom* could have been if it had been made as
a movie or Halloween special. But it wouldn’t have stolen characters… or had
RPG battles… Even if John was going to appear. Analyzing Darkpokon would be
losing time for repeating mistakes and because Skapokon actually says
everything in his video-commentaries. On the other hand, the Johnpisode I want
to talk about isn’t an actual episode, but a self-parody. Sometimes, John makes
mockbusters of the same episodes he’s going to release, like if that would hype
them more. They are videos made with even less effort, but way shorter and
digestible than the originals. In an ironic twist, they are more recommendable
than the show itself! They are similar to Asperchu, a series that parodies and
abridges at the same time the Sonichu comics and all the Christian Wenston
Chandler lore.

*You are hearing part of its
soundtrack, composed by Lasaro. At least, this music is used on AMvs and War of
the Consoles.

AM: So we’re going to review the
joke version of Darkpokon. Since I’m reviewing it ironically, I will need this*.

*Housecoat used for ironic
reviews.

The purposely bad-spelled title
perfectly establishes the tone with a Windows Movie Maker color effect. He saw
the necessity of writing “Thank god” between parenthesis, putting in the
perspective of his viewers for the first time. Even if it would be way more
creative if that was put in the real Darkpokon. The first scene shows us one of
the infinite versions of John DiMicco, called Johnz or John Badman, watching
pornography with his robot that has the personality of stealing jokes. (If I
had one!) I think they mistook the design.

ROBOT: Joke number one, Ane
Igartiburu!*

*From the previous AMvs, that
robot automatically searches for jokes online, depending the topic. It mocks
how the humor in Spanish Affair (2014) feels like it was found by looking for
stereotype jokes in Google.

That’s better. A minimalistic
version of Skapokon irrupts the scene singing and overlapping with the
auto-read text.

-What? I can’t hear anything,
dude! Can you take out the fucking music of balls!

A hilarious twist from the real
version John would release soon is that every name is changed to criticize how
the memes in the style of Dolan, Gooby and Farfour. The antagonist of the
episode is Niggerkon or Niggapokon, who unlike its counterpart, is actually
dark-colored.

*Niggerkon’s introduction and explanation
of Mumbo Jumbo*

AM: Fuck irony! I won’t need
this!

Three seconds, three damned
seconds, and it’s already the most offensive and transgressor thing I’ve ever
seen in my life! INTENTIONALLY! Don’t you understand it? This is intentional
humor! He perfectly knows the topics he’s touching. A humorist could need YEARS
to find the desired satirical style. John found it EVEN BEFORE releasing the
original version.

DUN DUN!

Johnz meets with an army of
memes, a very visual representation of how he steals characters in the least
creative way possible. John’s group is at the same level.

Deleted Scene

Another improvement over the show
is the fact that he erased the unavoidable 5-minute RPG battle AND NOBODY
complained in the comments! (Steven Star reads a bizarre comment)

STEVEN STAR (SS): And that was my
last contribution inside the Wikia. Then, it was closed. I couldn’t believe how
fast everything changed outside the Wikia. When I was a child, I once saw a
lawler, but now they are everywhere. This damned exterior of the Wikia goes too
fast. The Wikia insurance put me in a residence and offered me a job as a
dependent in a supermarket. It’s a very hard work, but I try to rise to the
occasion, even if my hands ask me to write my own moveset.

-Try to put two bags like the
lady has said.

-Yes, yes, sir, I’m doing it.

SS: I think that the responsible
doesn’t like me. Sometimes, I go to feed the birds after the work. I always
think that maybe John appears to say me hi, but he never did it. No matter
where he could be, I hope he’s alright and making good friends. I can barely
sleep at night. I have nightmares when I’m taken out of the Wikia. I wake up
scared, sometimes it’s hard to remember where I am. I might try to get a gun
and mug the supermarket to kill the responsible to assure my moveset and at the
same time being put into the Wikia. I may be getting too old for this nonsense.
I don’t like being here, I’m tired of always being afraid and I decided to
leave. I doubt that someone could care. Who is going to miss someone from the
Wikia?

There goes my last contribution
outside the Wikia.

JOHN: Who is going to miss
someone from the Wikia? Say to Agito that I don’t have hard feelings for his
appearance in Bizarro.

AGITO (A): He should have died
inside the Wikia.

In an unexpected turn of events,
Niggapokon DEFEATS Johnz and achieves his perfect black form!

GANCHITO (G): Aitor, what are you
watching? (Screams)

AM: Ganchito, it’s me!

(Actual frame of the episode)

To bookend, Swagmaster is the one
who saves the day and gets John’s waifu. At last, it’s revealed that everything
was a montage by Swagmaster to be the star of the show. And the real John, the
one that sucks for his absence of self-awareness, defeats him.

AM: And that was the best thing
that John has done in his entire life!

I’m happy that, after so many
John incarnations like the old one who is now fat, the new and apparently
definitive, the GoAnimate one, John Badman and John Goodman…

AM: He managed to publish the definitive
Johnpisodic experience, even if it was a joke.

ASHE: Hi, I’m Ashe!

AM: Oh, sorry, I was late and I
couldn’t buy candy. Do you want some caramel vodka? Wait, I don’t know if you
are at legal age. What about black vodka?

ASHE: No, let’s do a special
collaboration!

AM: Wait… Ashe, right? Had we
previously met?

ASHE: Yes… I’m Ashe from
FlashEstudio!

AM: FlashEstudio is still active?
What a great new! Hey, where are you going?

ASHE: I have to make a meme
before leaving.

AM: A meme…

ASHE: Yes, a meme for
FlashEstudio!

AM: Why would you want a meme?
You’re with some of the most promising and interesting spriter animators of
Latin America. Just give them time to publish some episodes and the memes will
make themselves.

ASHE: No, no! It doesn’t work
like that! You have to repeat memes to earn viewers! You don’t know anything!
Meme is mor gud!*

*Reference to Lego Spanish Movie

AM: If you aspire to a viewership
that’s only there for the memes, they won’t appreciate the most important
topics of your work.

(Ashe finds the Yrion Diary)

AM: Return that book.

(Ashe turns a page)

AM: You come to my house to make
memes like I know you my entire life, and you don’t even introduce yourself!

ASHE: I’m AAASHE!

AM: Just for having a name and physical
aspect, you assume that everybody must know you! It’s the first time we meet
and you pretend to automatically like each other? Should I admire you just for
the fact that you exist?

ASHE: Oh, but my story is too
complicated to reveal it like it was nothing!

AM: SOORRY, I will wait until you’re
given the Nobel Prize of Literature with anticipation, because it’s probably SO
GOOD that you get nominated even before publishing it! Seriously, do you casually
know who Rakzol is? I ask because he could be someone important in this
universe. But in mine not! He pretended to have fortune and glory at the
expense of other people just for being conceived! You act like his counterpart!
You are exactly the same!

ASHE: But… I’m a girl… and
adorable.

AM: Suuure you are… Get out of my
house.

ASHE: What an interesting book…
Can I borrow it?

AM: Leave my book, witch!

ASHE: I perfectly know what all
of this is about, and you are way stranger than I thought. Now that you say I’m
a witch… Zakilak… Kanpo… Haramberentzat…!*

*”Dicks out for Harambe” in
Basque

AZATHOTH (AZA): Who has invoked
me? Who dares to wake me up from my eternal sleep? Nyarlathotep!

NYARLATHOTEP (NYA): It was Nyog’
Sothep!

NYOG’ SOTHEP (NS): Liar, it was a
human female!

AZA: Then, humanity will suffer
the worst of all evil!

NYA: It seems to be a problem,
Azathoth!

AZA: WHICH???

NYA: Humans currently have John
Show.

AZA: The flying spaghetti monster’s
cunt… Then send Darkpokon.

DARKPOKON (DPK): Jua jua jua, I’m
so bad, that’s my principal characterization, the second is not having
characterization.

AM: Take that outside my house!

ASHE: Watch what you are
surrounding with! It’s exactly what you deserve! You cannot aspire to something
better!

DPK: Jua jua jua, it’s time to
destroy the world… Starting with the mosquitoes in this room!

AM: Is this what you wanted?
Taking a poor devil out of its canon to put it in another and confuse him?

ASHE: This book says they did
that to you.

(Ashe is kicked out)

ASHE: You know you’re here for a
reason! You’re nothing more than phantasmagoria! Phantasmagoria!

AM: Oh no, I hit a woman… And I
liked it!

DPK: Jua, jua…

AM: Take a rest, dude.

DPK: Jua?

AM: You were supposed to be bad,
but I don’t see more mosquitoes in this house. Good job! Do you want to be my mosquitera*?

*”Mosquito net”, female

DPK: Are you giving me a utility?
Robots need a task to be valuable in society!