Do you get in arguments, drama, angry disagreements? Regularly? With the same people over and over again?

If so, please take some time to see if it’s because of anything you’ve been keeping in your Secret Box!

What do I mean by Secret Box?

Sometimes in life, for many different reasons we may hide things. We may hide things from our friends, family, lovers and others. We may even hide things from ourselves! So by Secret Box, I mean the things we know, that we are either hiding from others or ourselves. This can include:

Information that you know, that the other person doesn’t know

Or information you know that you refuse to acknowledge

Let’s take a look at the first one.

Information that you know, that the other person doesn’t know

Are you assuming that the other person knows something or has agreed to something that they actually haven’t?!

Some things may seem like common knowledge, or mutually understood, but if you just assumed that the other person knows, or has agreed to something, when they haven’t, you may be setting yourself up for failure!

If they haven’t agreed to something, or you haven’t talked about something, that you’re assuming they should know or agree to, perhaps it’s time you talk to them about it. By expressing yourselves and trying to dissolve any assumption or misunderstandings, you may find out more about what is really going on and may begin towards taking action in a direction you prefer!

Are you upset with another person, but refuse to share with them the reason why? Is this information you think you can safely share with them? Have you tried? Sometimes we may not share something with others for reasons such as:

Embarrassment

Fear of being judged

Fear of being rejected

But if we don’t move past these fears, not only may the same problems persist, we may never move towards what we want in our lives or relationships with others. Our lives and relationships may become stagnant as we get stuck in fear, and they are never nurtured for the opportunity to grow into what we really desire. Perhaps you could benefit from taking some time to assess if it’s time to try to move past a fear for the potential benefit of a relationship and your authentic self.

Information that you refuse to acknowledge

This is about honesty with yourself. This might seem the most difficult emotionally. Sometimes we might hide things from ourselves because we feel pain, or are scared of experiencing pain. This may include but may not be limited to:

Fear of change

Fear of not being accepted

Fear of not being loved

Embarrassment

Fear of failure

Fear of making mistakes

Do you know something that you refuse to acknowledge? Are you ignoring it and thus carrying out conflict and drama in denial of such information? Could your life potentially benefit from you moving past any of these fears? Are you perpetuating any issues in your life by not dealing with these and looking at what you really feel or know?

You might ask yourself, “So, what can I do with this stupid Secret Box?”

Perhaps you can:

Share it with others. If it feels safe to, perhaps you can share some things in your Box. In doing so, others may understand you further and be able to accommodate you. It might seem less heavy to keep less things to yourself.

Share it with yourself. Perhaps by taking the time to learn more about yourself, and be more honest with yourself you can clear out some of your Box, and start taking action towards the real changes you want in your life. It may not seem easy, but it may seem better than where you’re at currently.

Stop filling up your Secret Box! Try to stop making assumptions, about others, about yourself and about the world. Try to be more objective and flexible. Try not to assume absolutes. Try to learn more about yourself, others and how things work. Be more honest with yourself about how you feel and what you think. Question why you think certain things. By gaining introspection skills, you may be able to build up self honesty and integrity, and even avoid some problems altogether in the first place!

Surround Yourself With Those You Trust. Perhaps one reason you have a Secret Box in the first place is because you don’t feel safe or comfortable around those you are surrounded by. By surrounding yourself with company you trust, you may be able to set yourself up to be more open and honest, keeping that Secret Box less full!

So, do you have a Secret Box you’re hiding, that’s causing drama and conflict in your life?Are you willing to take action, so it’s no longer the cause of conflict and drama for both you and others?

About The Author

Joshua Townsend of Clear Fear Forever provides counselling with the intent to help people heal towards an authentic and inspired life. By clearing limiting beliefs or fears, a person may experience the relief and benefit of lightening up that Secret Box, and taking inspired action towards what they really want in their life!

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