So someone has finally said it out loud..... If I had of been calling out more often I would have noticed how unwell my aunt is and she would still be alive. Everyone is probably blaming me that she is dead.

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:36 pmPosts: 1692Location: the land of too much wine and wind

kara kara wrote:

One of my friends' cats was in the ER all day yesterday with fluid in his lungs. The test results were not good, and the vet thinks he has FIP, so he probably doesn't have much longer. They've only had him and his brother for a few months. So heartbreaking.

They had to rush him to the vet again yesterday when the fluid started building up again. He was in so much pain that they decided the best thing was to put him down. I feel so sad for their little family.

_________________I just brought out the carrot sticks. This is war. - paprikapapaya

Oh Daisychain, that is so completely unfair. I send you tons of good thoughts and hope you are able to take good care of yourself.

Suicide is so rough - every time I've seen it, everyone blames themselves for not seeing it coming. But none of us are God and none of us are prescient. When my aunt killed herself, I knew she was having a rough time but never thought it would come to that.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

ugh, daisychain that is so so unfair! No one should ever blame anyone for a suicide! there are always things you can look back on and wish you'd done differently, but there's just NO WAY to know what someone is going to do and it's not fair to put it on you to have fixed the major issues your aunt was having. I'm so sorry!

_________________I am not a troll. I am TELLING YOU THE ******GOD'S TRUTH****** AND YOU JUST DON'T WANT THE HEAR IT DO YOU?

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:36 pmPosts: 1692Location: the land of too much wine and wind

daisychain wrote:

So someone has finally said it out loud..... If I had of been calling out more often I would have noticed how unwell my aunt is and she would still be alive. Everyone is probably blaming me that she is dead.

Please don't take this to heart. You are not responsible for the actions and mental health of other people. Anyone is saying this is forwarding their own guilt onto you because they aren't able to properly cope with their own grief. Tofulish is right, it is incredibly unfair.

((((((boober))))))

_________________I just brought out the carrot sticks. This is war. - paprikapapaya

So someone has finally said it out loud..... If I had of been calling out more often I would have noticed how unwell my aunt is and she would still be alive. Everyone is probably blaming me that she is dead.

I'm so sorry anyone would put this on you.

_________________If a milkshake is going to change the world then it should be at least be an Oreo one. - daisychain

So someone has finally said it out loud..... If I had of been calling out more often I would have noticed how unwell my aunt is and she would still be alive. Everyone is probably blaming me that she is dead.

Please don't take this to heart. You are not responsible for the actions and mental health of other people. Anyone is saying this is forwarding their own guilt onto you because they aren't able to properly cope with their own grief. Tofulish is right, it is incredibly unfair.

((((((boober))))))

Yes. This. It's NOT your fault, DaisyChain. Sending you many hugs!!!

_________________"Vegan to me means Oreos for breakfast." -Poopiebitch"tl;dr: I quit working to drink beer paid for with gift cards" erikasoyf*cker

Thanks guys. I know myself that what they said is totally wrong and I know from work and through my own experience once someone makes up their mind that's it especially with what method she used. I still took it very hard though. I have a history of excessive levels of guilt and fears that I have done something wrong so it was highly triggering for me. I rang my friend and had a good long chat with her so I'm feeling lots better. She just started working in mental health so it was good to talk to her. I've never been one to actually lean on friends when things are rough because I feel like I would be a burden, but after my aunt it's been a wake up call that I need to start letting people know when I'm not ok.

The detailer emailed back about my husband's job prospects. I know I should be grateful he HAS a job and all compared to what a lot of people are going through, but we asked to stay here or go abroad. They put him in, unasked, for a line locker job (naval reactors). Which means back in DC, only instead of Arlington, it's actually Navy Yard, which is on the green line, and i know this is extremely first world problems but a commute to Navy Yard is going to make finding somewhere to live really annoying. (Columbia Heights is great, but I don't think we can afford a 4br house for rent there even if we could find one)

Thanks guys. I know myself that what they said is totally wrong and I know from work and through my own experience once someone makes up their mind that's it especially with what method she used. I still took it very hard though. I have a history of excessive levels of guilt and fears that I have done something wrong so it was highly triggering for me. I rang my friend and had a good long chat with her so I'm feeling lots better. She just started working in mental health so it was good to talk to her. I've never been one to actually lean on friends when things are rough because I feel like I would be a burden, but after my aunt it's been a wake up call that I need to start letting people know when I'm not ok.

Good on you for opening up and talking to people. I just wanted to chime in that you're 100% not responsible for what happened, and it sucks that anyone is saying that.

My Dad was admitted to the hospital and has no idea who he is. He is 78 and getting more and more confused. Its so heartbreaking. And he is in Austria so I can't visit or be there with him, which sucks.

I spent the evening at urgent care with an asthma attack that wouldn't stop.

My husband brought me a veggie burger from a local diner because I hadn't had time to eat, and they packed me a chicken burger. Which I discovered on taking a big bite.

Trayvon Martin verdict.

I am gutted. Today has sucked. I am grateful to be back home with my baby girl and husband and holding on to that blessing as tight as I can.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

GAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! My aunts are seriously infuriating!!!!!!!! NOW! NOW!! I get told I need to bring one of my aunts and get her accommodation issues sorted because she is going to be homeless thanks to her abusive relationship. Eh....... I flipping tried to on Thursday but the forking dumbpants denied there was relationship/accommodation problems to the doctor therefore couldn't make the referral to the social worker. FFS! I'm back working tomorrow. I have enough on my plate trying to keep myself going now my other aunt is going to peas off home 130kilometers away and I am going to be left to dealt with all this on my own as well as being there for my cousins who have finally started opening up a bit to me.

Waking up this morning feeling like my hands were almost on fire they were so itchy. And my ankle. This stupid itching thing moves joints. Sometimes my hands are fine but my knees will be going crazy, or my elbow...

Before I found out my contract wasn't being renewed at work, I had made all these fun plans to attend summer festivals and go to the cottage and basically just enjoy life. Then I found out I am going to be unemployed, and I begrudgingly decided to carry forward with all the plans I had made...it kept my mind off the panic of an unknown future. Well, just got back from the last of my distractions lined up...the cottage. Now I'm here and am just waiting for what is to be my last week of work in a my city that has a terrible economy. I complained a lot about certain co-workers, but all in all it was my dream job. And now it's gone.

And my mother-person is major boundary crossing lately...she's been doing a lot of "copying" me and it brings up all these feelings of guilt about how I hurt her feelings by pushing her away. I shouldn't feel guilty, seeing as she abused me my whole life and would love to see me fall, but I have been conditioned (by her) to feel guilty.

_________________Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumblesIs this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface

Texts from my sister this morning, saying grandma had fallen asleep while watching golfers outside and fell out of her chair. Blood everywhere. She crawled to the phone to call a neighbor, who came over and cleaned her a bit while the paramedics were en route. Her vitals were ok, she has a nasty bump, and REFUSED to go to the hospital to be checked for internal bleeding. ....I have such conflicting feelings. (And also feel like shiitake since I stopped trying to call home she since she hasn't picked up the phone in about three weeks, and didn't call yesterday since I didn't want to talk to voicemail again.)