Last week, I blogged about a situation I had on Facebook when I someone I didn't know called me "misinformed and ignorant" about some political views I shared. You see, I commented on a mutual friend's post and his friend jumped in with the exact quite below:"And because I tire of writing posts to the misinformed and ignorant, wouldn't it be nice to learn about things for yourself (?)” Afterward his diatribe and the above sentence, he included links to several websites so that I could get my facts straight next time. Apparently it was because this fellow was tired of constantly having to correct all the ignorant peoples like myself on Facebook.Now let me ask you this...do you think I clicked on any of those websites? Do you think I wanted to listen to anything he had to say?Would you? The funny thing is, I think he thought I would really check out his recommended sites! But what he said and how he said it had the opposite effect of what he intended. Instead of wanting to listen to what he had to say, I dug in my heels even more (internally) and was determined to tell myself that the dude was an idiot. What are some ways that you can help your communication be received by your audience?

FOCUS ON YOUR GOAL: If what you are about to say or do will not help you achieve your goal, don't do it! Even if you want to. Even if you think you've earned the right to. Even if the person you're speaking to "deserves it!" If you will not help your cause by saying something a certain way, say it differently!

IT"S NOT ABOUT BEING 'RIGHT' ALL THE TIME: Remember Brainy Smurf? Did anyone really like him? When you spend a lot of time trying to prove how right you are; human nature often motivates other people to try and prove how wrong you are! Remember, if you have a goal of wanting to be heard, you have to communicate in ways that motivates other people to want to hear what you have to say!

VALIDATE OTHER POINTS OF VIEW: If you have ever watched current television show host Mike Huckabee, you will see the power of validation in action. Huckabee is a Republican who somehow manages to get Democrats to exclaim that they would vote for him if he ran again! And its not because Huckabee shies away from expressing his opinion, but its because he validates what other people are thinking and feeling, even if he doesn't agree with it. People are willing to listen to what he has to say, because he does the same for them.

Now it's your turn! What things would you add to this list that helps make your communication more effective?

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Rommel Anacan

I am a national speaker, trainer, and strategic consultant to companies and organizations. I'm alsothe president and founder of The Relationship Difference a professional and personal development company in Orange County, California.

My passion is helping people succeed by helping them connect, communicate and engage with the people around them more effectively.

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