FAQ

Thursday, June 30, 2016

Girl groups are, by nature, pretty gay. You have a bunch of
hot, similarly-aged girls spending all their time together, dancing around
while scantily clad, doing sexy choreography, etc. Sure, everybody has long
hair and wears dresses (with the notable exception of Amber) and grinds on
chairs for their gentleman viewers, but you can’t deny that it’s a little …
Sapphic. So in honour of lesbianism real and feigned, sexy and boring, publicly
denied and publicity-stunted, here’s a look at some kpop videos that have
featured a bit of girl-on-girl action.

In the interests of comparison and standard-setting, each
video’s lesbianism will be ranked on two metrics: how hot it is, and how
convincing it is. They will be graded out of four (four scissors, obviously).

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

So YG's finally debuting another girl group. It's about time, since YG had been teasing a nine member girl group with a great visuals and a slightly edgy concept. However that couldn't happen since Twice has already filled that void and has instead gone with a four member group with great visuals and seems to have some sort of duo concept.

I honestly try to like Hyoyeon, but she always gives me another reason to not like her, such as her God-fucking-awful rapping. Fuck waterboarding the terrorists at Guantanamo Bay, just make them listen to Hyoyeon's mixtape.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Like clockwork, SISTAR is back with another summer comeback/opportunity for them all to vigorously shake their asses at a camera. Fortunately, even a broken clock (see: the extremely unlistenable Shake It, the fairly unlistenable but mercifully body-roll-heavy My Boy) is right twice a day. And I Like That is one of those times.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

So the highlight medley for Sonamoo's new album came out, and I was all set to love this comeback until I realized that "Closer" wasn't going to be to be the title track but instead "I Like U Too Much."

Are
you prepared for such an eventuality? Could you use free legal
advice? Do you like laughing at the misfortune of others? If you
answered 'yes' to any of these questions, please take advantage of the
new Kpopalypse free legal advice service!

Sunday, June 19, 2016

BTS fans, or ARMYs have a reputation for being literally everywhere. From random videos about rain to pornhub and always connecting the missing link (no matter how long that link is mind you) to BTS somehow. While this is fantastic free marketing for BTS a lot of people find it annoying. Even if it is rather hypocritical.

Friday, June 17, 2016

While people have been writing a bunch about Yoochun in the K-pop blogging sphere, all y'all UCAADs have been ignoring this sweet remix Yoochun wrote. With my investigative journalism, I was able to find the lyrics but no audio recording.

Euijin, the best girl in Sonamoo, has an awesome teaser picture. Does TS suck or what, because I almost forgot that Sonamoo existed. Their peer groups have had several more comebacks, and they've been out of the spotlight for a year already. That's not good for a rookie group. Really, my main complaint is that this group has hot members that have been under wraps for a year. That's the real crime here.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Been about a year since EXO's last comeback. While "Call Me Baby" was a decent song the album had much better songs, however this comeback's songs are their best since "Overdose", proving their full potential.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

I just heard the news about 4minute disbanding and remembered my post from 5 years ago. Funny thing to note is that as of this writing Bubble Pop has 111 million views and Mirror Mirror has 11 million, so the 10x factor held true over years.

You had a good run, 4minute. Even though everyone jokes about "Hyuna & The 4minutes" I actually don't know anyone who doesn't like them. They are pretty badass ladies, lovable on stage and off.

There's two things that really stick out to me whenever I get the results of a Kpopalypse survey, and they are:

A lot of you are in tertiary education

A lot of you are struggling like fuck with tertiary education

Many
caonimas seem like you could use the wisdom of an older wiser k-pop fan
who has been through the "system". Read on as Kpopalypse attempts to
make your university life approximately 0.0582% more tolerable!

I hadn't really paid any attention to CLC until "No Oh Oh" came out, so a favorite member is something that is easy to change. At first I liked Elkie and Eunbin the most, but now I like Yeeun (and Yoojin) the most. I mainly like Yeeun because she is cute, but also one of the few female idol rappers that doesn't make me wish I was deaf.

This is really weird for me. It's a mixture of what I listened to as a high schooler and now what I listen to as an adult. I used to listen to T.M. Revolution a lot ten years ago, and even when he started his rock band Abingdon boys school. T.M. Revolution usually has songs with a fast beat, so I had good faith going into the song that it wouldn't suck gigantic tentacle penis.