“A” IS FOR APPLE, “B” IS BIZARRE

As hard as it may seem today to fathom, there was a time, in the not too distant analog past, when starting up a record company required more – much more – than just a domain name and the nearest GarageBand™ software.

Yes, there was a time when starting up a record company required actual brick and mortar (or at least some office space), telephones, pens, pencils, typewriters and reams of 20 lb stationery (plus desks to put them all on and, ideally, a staff of people to use them) …not to mention, in the case of at least one of the two record companies mentioned below, a full Cordon Bleu kitchen staff equipped with a £600-a-month-at-least liquor allowance.

Oh. And many, many talented musicians, songwriters, and singers with access to recording studios full of the brightest and most creative engineers, arrangers and/or producers available, I should most definitely add.

A pair of wonderful DVDs from Sexy Intellectual / MVD Entertainment spotlight two such maverick, pioneering operations from the Golden Age of Boutique Labels. We learn both of these companies were bravely and boldly artist-launched, artist-operated, and above all artist-friendly, both had quite specific audiences to target with their product, and that one of these two labels amazingly continues to run successfully to this very day …though lately their time is much more often spent in the courtroom as opposed to the recording studio.

In a virtual nutshell then, and on the 50th (!) Anniversary of their launch, Here’s the stories:

CHIEF OPERATING DIRECTORS:

INSPIRATION:

APPLE: The Beatles needed to quickly spend a lot of untaxed income after the death of their manager Brian Epstein.

BIZARRE: Frank Zappa needed to quickly gain control of his career after MGM/Verve Records forgot [sic?] to renew his initial recording contract.

START-UP CAPITAL:

APPLE: £2,000,000.00

BIZARRE: 200 shares of no par value common stock.

CORPORATE LOGO:

APPLE: A green Granny Smith apple.

BIZARRE: A black vacuum pump.

EARLY STATEMENT OF INTENT:

APPLE: “It’s business concerning records, films, electronics, and as a sideline, whatever it’s called, manufacturing, whatever. But we want to set up a system whereby people who just want to make a film about anything don’t have to go on their knees in somebody’s office. Probably yours.” (John Lennon)

BIZARRE: “We make records that are a little different. We present musical and sociological material which the important record companies would probably not allow you to hear.” (Frank Zappa)

MOST UNIQUE RELEASE:

UNRELEASED:

APPLE: “The Lady Is A Champ” by Frank Sinatra, with new lyrics (e.g.: She married Ringo, and she could have had Paul) by Sammy Cahn (labeled Apple 1 and given to Maureen Starkey as a birthday present in 1968).

BIZARRE:The History And Collected Improvisations Of The Mothers Of Invention12-LP ( !! ) box set (1970).

TOTAL RECORDS SOLD DURING FIRST YEAR OF OPERATION:

APPLE: at least 16,000,000

BIZARRE: well under 160,000

CROSSOVER:

APPLE:Some Time In New York City by John & Yoko and the Plastic Ono Band featured a full album side recorded live at the Fillmore East with Frank Zappa and the Mothers.

BIZARRE:We’re Only In It For The Money by The Mothers Of Invention featured a full album cover parody of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band sanctioned by Paul McCartney.

MOST INTERESTING PEOPLE TO EVER GRACE THEIR OFFICES:

APPLE: Lauren Bacall (with her children), a bunch of Hell’s Angels en route to “straighten out” Czechoslovakia, the “Original Shoot ’em Up Head ’em Off At The Pass Pardner Psychedelic Traveling Family Medicine Show” en route to the Fiji Islands to establish their own alternative universe (and hoping to pick up John & Yoko on the way), and this guy who kept visiting the Press Office claiming he was Adolf Hitler (“…oh Christ, not that arsehole again,” complained Apple Press Officer Derek Taylor. “All right, send him up”).