I had a male friend that tried three times (once every six weeks) before he finally said "ohhhh I get it now."

We would usually be talking about random things at his place when all of a sudden he would dim the lights, put on the sex tunes and sit a little too close to me on the sofa. A lot of times I would actually be talking about other men, hoping I could divert things from going there. But nope... he'd slowly move in for the kill... ugh!!!

The whole "I don't see you like that. We are just buddies" was awkward the first time. But when he tried two more times after that I got pissed off. When I asked "what part of 'I don't see you like that' didn't you get?" he just replied. "Oh, I thought you just needed more time."

With every male friend I've had, I always make it a point to talk about other guys I'm interested in or find hot. I've always hoped that they would be able to understand that I wouldn't be crushing and gushing about other guys if I was the slightest bit interested in them. But... some guys are totally clueless.

If I was drunk and she was hot, I'd probably roll with it. I've had this happen in a nightclub (and especially a nightclub bathroom) on a couple of occasions. The street would definitely be a bit more bizarre but if I was in the right mood who knows.

Being sober... No, I'd stop her before she got close enough. I don't like strangers unexpectedly invading my personal space in a non-party atmosphere.

If you do your kegels regularly, you might be able to chew gum down there in a few weeks, maybe that's a start?

Sorry Olivia, couldn't resist.

And then soon enough I'll be able to blow bubbles!

Re the designer pussy specs listed above, I'm still catching up on all these new options. I think I'm ok with the idea of a labiaplasty in extreme situations and maybe the rejuvenation surgery if a woman has had tons of kids or somehow she was just born with a loose vagina (if such things are possible) and feels extremely self-conscious about it. I'm all for self-improvements if it makes a woman more confident. It's all personal choice. But... the mints are just embarrassing, especially if a woman is popping one in there before sex and thinking the guy is supposed to think she just tastes 'refreshing' in a natural way. Actually, I think they need to reverse this trend and start making Pussy-Flavoured Mints!

I agree with everything that Lisa said. It takes time to establish yourself as an author and actually get a loyal following.

I think developing an online presence where you show a bit of your personality will often make new readers curious enough to want to sample one of your stories. Hopefully when they do, the quality of your writing stands for itself. Some easy ways to do this are to properly fill out and pimp your profile. Make it an interesting page to visit. The photo album options are a great way to do this. Show people what you think is sexy in a visual way. Posting more often in the forums will also draw in new readers as they get to know you through your opinions and answers on certain topics. The idea is to make people curious enough to want to know more about you.

One can argue that writers with 'hot avatars' or cyber-friendly profiles will get more reads and votes. Yet a lot of those are throw-away votes so don't get discouraged. I've always found that it's better to check out who is following you (ie. the people that read a story you write and actually want to be alerted when you post a new one). I just checked my own stats and see that I have 246 people following me right now. I would say that I have never talked to 95% of them and probably 50% of them aren't on my friend list. So it's definitely not all about cliques or friends. Once you've established yourself on the site and have written enough of a collection of stories, the fan base will often create itself.

I actually watched some porn once where the whole point was for the guy to come in the girl's eye (she actually held it open for him with her fingers). I guess this is some kind of new fetish thing?

I'm going to assume that in most cases with normal people that the cum landed there accidentally, so I'm not going to saw his balls off or anything. If I got the feeling that he did it on purpose, we'd have an issue though.

heheh...you purposefully watch some super freaky stuff, don't you? I knew there was a reason I liked you.

Actually I found the toilet head-dunking scene far more shock-worthy than the eyeball jizz.

I actually watched some porn once where the whole point was for the guy to come in the girl's eye (she actually held it open for him with her fingers). I guess this is some kind of new fetish thing?

I'm going to assume that in most cases with normal people that the cum landed there accidentally, so I'm not going to saw his balls off or anything. If I got the feeling that he did it on purpose, we'd have an issue though.

I agree with many of the posters above... I am ok with modern, humane zoos near major cities (I would do away with the sketchy ones in small, hick towns that don't have the proper facilities and professional handlers). This is mainly because there are many wild animals that end up injured or lose their mothers at a young age to hunting/poaching and would die if left alone in the wild. I do prefer a more 'sanctuary' style layout. Obviously these kinds of zoos are more expensive, but I would rather see fewer "quality" zoos and sanctuaries. Otherwise, yes, HDTV is like your own personal zoo. There is an incredible array of nature shows available now that are far more awe-inspiring than anything you'll likely see in person.

I am against circuses that use live animals. Human circuses (like Cirque de Soleil) are far more entertaining anyway. I really don't like the concept of performing wild animals. That also includes marine parks. I remember loving these as a kid when I didn't know any better. Unfortunately they have created a trainwreck situation where there is nowhere for these large marine animals to go to once they've had they've been kept in captivity for long periods of time. That's to say nothing of the breeding programs of creating more babies destined for a life of performing and then otherwise being corralled in a small watery cage at night. These animals are not going to find any life contentment living in a pool and having to perform tricks in order to get fed.

I have read so many horror stories of marine-park disasters where trainers get killed or the animals end up killing themselves accidentally due to miscalculations of pool walls when performing or swimming, often right in front of a shocked crowd. I certainly don't blame the animals for handler deaths, but I do blame the idiocy of believing that by humanizing them (with cute names and crowd-pleasing antics) that we can delude ourselves into thinking that they are not ticking time-bombs and in constant anxiety/depression due to the day-to-day stressors of that environment.

I saw the video of the whale-trainer (pictured above) in her last moments. It's a sobering reminder that the concept of "performing wild animals" is what needs to go extinct.

go discuss it with someone close to you, a sister, mother, best friend. Someone completely biased towards you, who wants nothing but your happiness. Gather some confidence, and then confront the boyfriend and communicate.

I had to add my on this one:

Proceed with caution when it comes to advice from close female friends and occasionally some family members as well. Female friends have a tendency to tell you what you want to hear once you have entered into a relationship with someone. This increases exponentially when those friends are also in solid relationships or married. Friends move in herds (like buffalo)... when everyone is hooked up, they strongly desire that you also remain hooked up, especially if they do a lot of couples activities.

They may gloss over your issues and reassure you and explain away his man-errors using excuses like "he's just stressed out from work," "he might be a commitment-phobe but he really does love you," "he's scared of love and how strongly he feels for you," and "oh no, that hot 20-yr old vixen you saw him having lunch with on the patio is probably just a summer student from his office."

Secondly, when you say to a female friend. "I'm not sure about Bob, I feel like Bob might be cheating on me," this friend is put on the spot. IF she chooses to agree with you, commiserate with you about what an asshole Bob is and tell you other horrible things she knows or suspects about him... AND then after this you still stay with Bob anyway and decide that the two of you love each other, your relationship with this friend will feel awkward going forward, knowing that she secretly detests your man and thinks you are nuts for staying with him. In fact, you may even come to resent her for it. Female friends know this pitfall, and therefore may be more hesitant about telling you what they really think.

And last... many close friends just want to see you happy. It's natural instinct to want to sooth someone's fears and make them feel more positive again. Friends don't want to contribute to your emotional meltdown or influence your decisions. Their job is often to "be there for you" when things fall apart, but when it comes to life-altering advice I wouldn't rely on others. Only you know what is going on in your relationship. Trust your gut instinct... it's never wrong.

Back in the 60's and early 70's, it was completely legal to buy a leopard or panther in a department store like Harrod's as an exotic pet. Animals were harvested from across the world to be put into zoo's, baby orcas were caught off the coast of Iceland that were destined to end up performing for audience entertainment at marine parks and other exotics were bound for a life in traveling circuses.

None of this happens smoothly, of course.

There are endless cases of animal cruelty, questionable training methods, trainer/handler deaths when wild animals rebel or give in to their wild instincts. This is to say nothing of the often cramped cages and living structures and general loss of freedom of the animals.

The orca that killed his trainer in a public spectacle at Sea World a year ago has just now been put back to task in live performances (despite three human deaths to his record). These aren't isolated incidents. Animals inflicting injuries upon themselves or others due to inadequate treatment facilities is quite common, although often ignored by the media. We just buy more popcorn and cheer it all on, right?

Is the idea of the public zoo, circuses and marine parks an outdated concept? Or does the educational component of seeing 'wild animals up close' and the general entertainment value outweigh the costs?

Since i don't know what you really look like (or what he looks like), physical attraction could be part of the problem. More so if you've made any major changes from when you first started dating or are no longer trying. Like if mini-skirts and push-up bras were what you wore when you first met, and now the no make-up/sweatpants look is the new staple or if you've had any major weight gains over the past couple of years. Yes, these things are superficial, but let's face it... some guys are superficial!

Are you doing things to try to initiate sex or entice him? If you're making efforts and he's rejecting you, then yes... I would be strongly concerned that he's getting it elsewhere.

I've heard the whole "he's stressed out" thing before and I don't buy it. Either there's a medical reason for his low sex-drive, he's bored/complacent because you've been in a relationship for a few years now, or he's already playing somewhere else.

I would actively start trying to initiate sex, and if he rebuffs you, then you need to talk about what is going on. As Shibui already said... communication is key. It's better to know now than to waste more years with the wrong guy.

Sorry if my post sounds a bit harsh, but there's no reason in sugar-coating things and advocating that you ignore red flags and stay in a relationship that isn't satisfying you or making you happy. I wish some of my friends had taken this approach during the last year I spent with my ex-bf rather than reassuring me and convincing me to overlook things.

The bottom line in this case is: Not wanting to have sex is a major red flag.

I would like to do it on a big stage in Vegas as part of a sexual Cirque de Soleil-stye orgy performance with me as the star and a spellbound and horny audience watching. It would be under silvery strobe-lights and Tiesto would be spinning in the corner. Later, as I took my bows, instead of throwing roses onstage, the crowd would throw sex toys, and I would have to cleverly find a way to use all of them at the same time during my encore performance.

I've been on one of these party limo bus things before. It's not a regular limo... it's huge... and very cool. They actually have like a make-shift stripper pole too. Funky lighting... great sound system. Imagine the posh atmosphere of a limo with the size of a small bus. Now, I was on one as part of stagette party transportation to various venues, so we weren't having an orgy, but I think it could be fun.

The only thing is that you won't know what these people look like until you're on the ride. If you are picky with your sexual partners, this might be a drawback, depending on who he has arranged to be there. Overall, it sounds like a fun adventure though.

And don't forget... you can still be straight and kiss girls (Katy Perry says so).

i'd feel comfortable at a real burlesque show, while at a strip club, i think i'd just feel a little dirty?

What? You've never been to a strip club???

How did I miss this key fact in the time that I've known you? That means more dirty points for me... I might be winning now.

*blushes* umm... well... i might have gone once, but that was cause one of the girls invited me in, and to be honest, i felt really uncomfortable and it's not really my thing... ok, so you just pulled ahead. gonna have to have a dirty weekend now to tie it up... and i have been to a bdsm club, so does that count? :)

I've done the BDSM club thing once and and been to 3 fetish parties...

Top that GingerFig-girl!

Kidding... I already know you can top that.

For some reason I actually really enjoy strip-clubs (with female dancers). I've been too many times to recall actually. I like going with kinky girlfriends, and even with a boyfriend for couples dances. Then there was that one time with the (now famous) porn star and let me tell you it was... Oops, I forgot we're sitting in a classy wine bar. Nevermind. Pass the stuffed olives please.

Haha... blonde moment for me. That should have been kind of obvious, right?

I find the problem with a lot of modern strip clubs is that unless it's a featured dancer, sometimes it just looks like a girl buzzed out on quaaludes or just completely stoned sort of wandering around on stage, swaying and peeling off clothes. The nudity in itself is sexy for some, I guess. Plus I'm a girl, maybe I just expect more from my sexual entertainment... but... I feel that burlesque focuses more on the performance and pulls your mind into it as well. To keep me interested, I just think that seduction should involve more than just getting naked. I would love to find (or create) a cool vintage-y burlesque club in my city. I actually think it would be a sexy date idea. More women would probably feel more comfortable going into a burlesque club than a strip joint too.

Of course, Cher's character in the movie didn't quite have the business pouring in... but anyway... I would obviously run the club a lot better than she did! Plus I wouldn't mind getting on stage now and then either.

It's also a sexy idea to vary up penetration and pussy-eating during a single session. When guys think of changing positions, try going down on her instead. She will love the feeling of a warm tongue in between all those hard thrusts. As a bonus, it will also make you last longer.

An advanced technique idea could involve a glass dildo previously chilled in the freezer. Vary the hard fucking with the warm tongue and then slide the cool dildo into her... then repeat. It's very stimulating. After the creampie, you can use the glass dildo on her directly afterwards and then she can suck on it while you go down on her and enjoy the rest. I've always found sharing to be sexy.

Nice job Your Royal Spriteness! Another corner of the Kingdom for you to play in. Plus I was getting lonely in here eating salad and drinking skinny margaritas for the past year all by myself...

First question that comes to mind that fits this thread that I've been thinking about lately. What do we all think about burlesque dancing? I know it had a little modern revival with the Pussycat Dolls and that movie starring Christina Aguilera which I actually quite liked (can't remember the name of it now). Do you find burlesque to be sexier than modern strip clubs? More artistic? Maybe we'll end up with a throwback to a sexuality that was more about corsets and teasing rather than straight up tits and ass... I know even regular porn is actually starting to seem kinkier to me now when the girls are partly clothed. Maybe we're all getting desensitized.

Thoughts anyone? I would love to get some guys perspectives on this one too.

For inspiration... the lovely Dita Von Teese (who sometimes makes me wish I could rock that sultry brunette look for a night or two).