How to teach your children to deal with conflict

Many people believe that new parents assume their first child as a dilemma. Birth of a child is a life-altering event, although many couples who had originally promised that the birth of a child does not go to change their lifestyle. But in fact, children change everything.

As new parents, you are not only required to be able to care for a child, you also need to adjust the reality that your relationship changed. Added again with the fact that you both may suffer from lack of sleep and loss of your lifestyle, loss of identity, loss of independence in terms of revenue and financial as well as loss of friendship and sexual intimacy. All this pressure can cause a relationship, which previously beautiful, become not as beautiful as once was.

So, whether your relationship with your partner greatly affect your children? What are the implications?
Although quarrels and differences of opinion are something inevitable in the life of husband and wife, but keep in mind that the quarrels do not just affect you and your partner. Parental conflict can create confusion and conflict in the lives of children.

What should be done to avoid misunderstandings between your children and your partner?
Like adults, children can usually sense when something is wrong, especially if there are problems involving their parents. Because the majority of human communication are non-verbal, then picking up signals from other persons is the part from human way of surviving. Therefore also, anger can be easily captured on a sensory level by a child. Children are generally selfish, they tend to think that everything that happens has to do with them. So if the parents get angry, the child will think that they have done something wrong, even when it has nothing to do with them or their behavior. That's why one suggestion that is often given to the parents is that the better the child to see and hear their parents quarrel in front of them. In this situation, they will be more likely to understand what is happening and not be confused with what is happening and do not feel that they are the cause of their parents quarrel. In addition, the quarrel between you and your partner can be the event that gives an example to your child, how to resolve conflicts in a positive way and ended up with communications that show love, respect, and trust.

But of course, this advice does not apply when a quarrel involving violence, as well as lost control attitude and rude attitude. So, if in a quarrel you start up violence, you should as far as possible avoid it or stop it immediately. Remember that children imitate the behavior of their parents. If they see their parents being rude to one another, they will do it too.

Give yourself a time out. This way, you can think about what went wrong. Take time to be alone for a moment and think back to a situation that occurred as a whole. Time outs will help you to rebuild trust until you can handle the situation calmly. It will make you realize that you still love your partner and you can resolve differences of opinion without hurt each other.

Once you are calm, you can discuss with your partner. One of the suggestions that you should remember is that in marriage, the husband should keep quiet if his wife was angry, and vice versa. You should always try to communicate politely. If something really bothers you, speak quietly with your partner.

In this manner, you will be able to show your children how the right way to deal with conflict. Learning how to handle disagreements and disagreements are an inevitable part of growing up.

Learning about the negative side of life is also an important skill that should be developed by children until they are grown. After children start school and then to college or to work, it is inevitable that they will meet someone who is rude or someone who does not agree with them or contradictory to them. Able to cope with such situations without trauma and without negative response is a vital social skill. With these skills, your children will become the emotionally healthy person.