Thursday, April 29, 2010

Am I on a cliff?Ready to soar up highLike an eagle to spread my wings and flyOr to fall in my failuresWith the feeling of defeat

Or on a road?Where thorns and nails are in my wayPrickling me in a painful wayOr smooth tar up aheadWhere the journey isn't all that bad

Am I by the sea?The salt water washing painful memoriesHealing and making things newOr salt added to woundsJust pure pain and hurtful

Or in a dessert?Where everything is dryA stagnant feeling with no one in sightOr refreshed and filled with hopeWhen I find my well

Am I in a forest?The concrete jungleI will learn so much for everything's newOr lost and not foundCamouflaged by my surrounding

Or on a ship?Ready to sail to the farthest seasIn search of what life really meansOr ready to sink inInto a sea of immorality

Am I on top of the world?Feeling liberated and full of freedomI'll try not to get distracted by all the glitterOr would I fall in abominationInto the traps of this sinful world

One thing I knowIs that I'm on a journey of faithMay be in the dessert or by the seaIn the oceans or floating on a shipBut wherever I goSomething I knowIs that my Daddy KingHe's always with me

It may be scaryIt may be funIt may be stuff I've never expectedBut standing here on this transition pointI am fully securedFor I know that like the center of gravityThings will eventually come back to its coreGod is my anchor!Please see my point! =)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I'm counting down my daysDays where I'll be in collegeCan't wait for this new phaseThe adventures & challenges I'll face!

Nervous and naiveBut excited and curiousScared and shyBut full of life

All kinds of emotionsBottled up insideHope they don't eruptWhen counting down is up!

Who will my roommate be?What kinda friends will I make?Will I be accepted?Will I be cheated?

When will I adapt?Will I fit in?How about my grades?Will I get through this phase?

So many questionsRunning through my headHopefully they'll get their answersIn my college days up ahead

So many needsSo many wantsWill I succumb to peer pressureOr be secured and rest assured

That even though I may wantNew clothes, new shoesAnd everything in styleMy God, My Lord is what I truly want

You'll be there with me every step of my wayAs I walk through this leg of my lifeNot sure whether it's through a tunnel or streamA road in the dessert, city or beach.

It may be all the above And even more then what is searchedBut for all that's unearthIt'll make up for what it's worth

God is by my sideSo who can be against me?It's me and God against the worldOr maybe in this case "college"

When I cry myself to sleep the first few nightsPlease be my "shoulder to cry on"When I get lost on campusPlease show me the wayWhen I feel neglectedPlease make me feel acceptedWhen I feel lonelyPlease help me know You're beside meWhen I don't have a friendPlease bring one in my pathWhen assignment are overwhelmingPlease help me stay in Your presenceWhen the world seems upside-downPlease help me get it right-side up

And for the hundreds of questions that are yet unheard ofMy fears, my doubts, me feelings,my anticipationMy hopes, my dreams, my loves, my LIFEYou'll be my answer that will truly be right

I pray for my classes, my hostel, my roomiePeople that I cross path withThe church that I'm going toAnd most of all my journey of faith with You

I promise that You'll be on my mindThe center of my lifeThe One who drives and motivates meIn living life to the fullest

For even as I walk through this phaseArm linked with YouCounting down my daysTo whatever I'll face......

Friday, April 23, 2010

Just watched "Idol Gives Back" and it's great to see so many stars use their status, fame and name to give to America and parts of Africa plus places like Ethiopia. However, it was quite sad and mind boggling to see so much poverty and diseases robbing the lives of millions each year. It's crazy!!! To think that we already have so many problems affecting our lives, yet sitting on the couch watching malaria kill a child every 30 seconds is just way beyond the biggest most possible hard-felt issue I have gone through! We're talking about lives of innocent children here! (Makes my desire to get a few more jeans seem so cheap)...

"Idol Gives back"More than just a charity actStars, celebs, and people with respect

Coming together for the sake of a fact

The fact that millions of children die of MalariaMalnutrition and bad conditions

Women giving the best gift everThe gift of life and they die tryingBabies born without mummiesHusbands left alone with no companion

Seeing all these makes me wonderThe same question I hate myself asking"If there's a God, why all the suffering?""Why the pain, the hurt, the dying?"

Seeing this videos makes me wanna cryDoes God see them and does He cry?If He does why not reach outFor they'll be healed without a doubt

There are so many questions I wonder "Why" & "How"Thought I was convicted and already believeThat God sees and helpBut why all these?

It just doesn't seem fairChildren living life without a carePicking food, choosing toysWhich is quite a share

While other kids strive to live from day-to-dayA 10 dollar mosquito net could save a liveAnd a mere few dollars could bring food on the tableA dollar a day to raise a child

I'm glad that "American Idol" seesAnd is helping as much as can beBut does God see?And smile upon the effort of these people?

It's crazy to ask such a questionFor we already know the true factThat He cares more than we knowEven helps where man cant

But seeing this footageI cant help but wonderGod You're the answerAnd I want to seeIf "Idol" can helpSo can You a million times more!Just help me trust and believeThat these people have the aid they needAnd faith in You cos that'll determineWhether they're suffering will end with Joy.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Sunday, April 4, 2010

"His blood was shed for me"Sometimes I wonder how can that truly beWe all know the storyUnderstand the doctrineBut does it really sink in?As literal and as much as it should?

Every Good FridayWe remember His deathThe thorn of crown He woreThe stripes that He tookThe heavy cross He baredThe nail pierced hands.

We can just typically say"Yes, He did it for me"But do we really understand the essence of it?The true meaning of that cross?We may overlook it as another "tradition" we do every yearTo remember the death of our Lord Jesus Christ

This Easter I came to realizeThat "Yes, He did it for me"And He did it wholeheartedlyWith fear and tremblingAnd agony in the form of blood dropsWith the body of a humanMortal like everyone of us no less

On that cross more than 2000 years agoHe hung on that crossWith me on His mindI wasn't even born yetNot even the hundreds of generation before meBut there He was thinking of me

And so was He of You!It may sound crazy or even insaneFor someone to be in their most excruciating painYet they don't focus on the painBut on the love for us undeserving sinnersThinking about youWhich made it all worth it

John 3:16For God so loved the worldthat He gave His only begotten SonFor whosoever believes in Himshall not perish but have everlasting life

Come to the FatherFor we all need His loveLove that no man could giveFor the love portrayedWas through the bloodAnd those nail pierced hands...

Who would do that for you?Shed his or her blood for your redemption even if you are not worthy...

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Life's a blur right nowDon't know why and howThings mystified Life's far cryTo answers Not seen or loudWhere should I go? What should I do?Everything's newDo I do as I shouldOr do as I would or even couldFor these "would", "could's" and what notMay not even seem what they shouldI may be lying to myselfSubconsciously altering God's still small voiceFocusing on signs and advice When the answer is there but I just don't seeIn this new phase I goAnother step closer to adulthood and maturityI imagine the worse which is kinda like a curseI'm steping on lilypads that floats but dont holdEvery step may be just luckyAnd I may just drown once I hit realityStepping onto a lilypad that just look's prettyBut life's not like that And it should not beFor God is my RockMy One true securityLife's no lilypadNot even thin ice or a castle of cardsFor with God I'm more than secureIn that I can be truly assuredThings may be hazyAnd I may be blindedBy the haze or mistOr even the morning sunBut just for that teeny tiny momentTemperal really,When everything seems obscureAnd my life's seem to be on holdYou will be with meEvery step of the wayAs I make it out of this mysterious gardenInto clarity, the centre of Your willWhen burdens are heavyYour yoke is lightWhen trials are toughYou'll give me the peaceWhen my faith is shakenYou'll be my RockWhen there are so many optionsYou'll reveal Your opinion (Giving me the choice of freedom,I promise I'll choose with wisdom)When I'm in darknessYou are the lightWhen I'm weakYou are strongWhen things get out of handYou are in controlWhen I have issuesYou are bigger than my problemsWhen life is all mystifiedThere you'll clarifySlowly but surelyI surrender my lifeJust use meBroken by You & for You...

Thursday, April 1, 2010

"To not act on compassion"Sounds harsher than what's supposedly conveyedLike we should cut out all emotionsOf care and sympathy towards the less fortunate

I was given this adviceWhen my sis and I wanted to take in a stray catBut our house condition didn't approveAnd we were told not to act on what we felt

Didn't make much sense thenLet alone made me despise the factBut now looking backIt seems more true than just a mere simple act

"To Not Act On Compassion"We may have to read between the linesOr focus on the sentence in this caseFor to it there's more than sense

You see, I'm very compassionate at heartAnd at times it had in back, hit me hardLost my handphone, lost lots of moneyThinking relationships were as sweet as honey

Putting people in front of myselfTrying to not think of oneselfTo be like what Jesus wanted me to be?A friend to everyone else?

"....so be wise as serpents and as innocent as doves..."A verse in Matthew my mom keeps reminding meI really need that right nowCos here in KL all I wanna do is give money to those around me(as in the guy with one leg begging outside the bank)(and the old man selling maps, he's old but still working, so why not?)

"But is that what God really wants me to be?"Its really a tough question and is one of thoseWhere I cant give myself an answerAs quick as when "I WANT AN ANSWER!"

For in the bible He also asked us to give up everythingLike sell our stuff and follow HimBut do I do that out of context?Or read it as some kind of metaphoric statement

Its hard right nowWhy do I have such a soft heartWhich cost myself so much painCos some people take my kindness for granted and take all else away...

I guess I'll have to keep learningTo sometimes put my head over heartRather than just follow my heartAnd I'll keep learning as long as I'm on this life's long journey...

God, I know You're here with meOn these trip to somewhere specialBut now the road is so tough and mystifiedPlease help me get through to see the light

I wanna be in the center of Your destiny!But not where I'm pushed by emotionsAnd lacking in intelligenceTo make the right choices in life.....

For you are the only answer,The problem to my solutions,The only friend I can truly trust,The balm for my wounding heart...