Actually, I'm not a plumber so I'm not even sure nipples and elbows go together, but I'm pretty sure you can screw a nipple into an elbow. And obviously I'm not talking about actual nipples and elbows, because it's pretty difficult to touch your nipple with your elbow, unless you're Peta Todd:

The conclusion? Crashing into cars while riding your bicycle is more dangerous than not wearing a helment:

The study found that the greatest injuries were caused by cyclists crashing into vehicles; the faster the vehicle, the greater the injury. The study also found that the lack of helmet use while biking was not as great a risk factor as were collisions.

You can't put one over on the Canadians.

I know what you're wondering now: "What if I put a bunch of stickers on my helment. Will that help?" No, it won't. But what might help is more bike lanes:

Williamson points out that until now, researchers have been focused on helmet protection for children. “Maybe we need more designated bike lanes separated from the roads to ensure safety,” she says.

He does make a good point about the increased heart rate and respiration, which is why there should also be a "largely symbolic" $25 tax on pictures of Peta Todd:

Drivers, on the other hand, should not be taxed because they don't exhale carbon dioxide--assuming, of course, they're trees:

(It's very difficult for trees to find cars with sufficient headroom.)

Or assuming they're humans who equip their cars with onboard trees large enough to offset their vehicles' emissions:

Though all it takes is one glimpse of some cyclist's "muffin top" or "sideboob" to cause the driver to begin panting, thus upsetting this precarious balance:

By the way, it's well-known that the most significant source of greenhouse gases on America's roads is Amish motorpacing, thanks to the carbon dioxide emissions of both horse and cyclist:

Not to mention the inevitable equine flatulence from all those PowerBars.

You'd think at a certain point politicians would stop saying idiotic things about bikes. You'd also think that at some point we'd experience a "Newtown moment" wherein we decide we're no longer going to accept the high death toll caused by cars--though that doesn't seem likely to happen, at least in New York. If you were looking for a "Newtown moment" the last week would be as good as any, since first we had this:

But instead of demanding action from the NYPD and the DA, Stringer announced that he is sending a letter to Transportation Commissioner Janette Sadik-Khan. “This is a shot across the bow to the Department of Transportation to take meaningful action,” Stringer said.It’s a strange tactic, given that DOT is expected to continue its implementation of protected bike lanes and pedestrian refuges in East Harlem this year — a project that was, for a time, obstructed by Stringer appointees to Community Board 11.

The BMW’s owner, Takia Walker, 29, of the Bronx, was arrested on Sunday on charges of insurance fraud; she is accused of buying and registering the car under false pretenses. Mr. Hamilton said the woman and Mr. Acevedo did not know each other and that Mr. Acevedo had probably borrowed the car from a mutual friend.

Instead, I'm pretty confident that the city will continue to largely ignore matters like truckers who don't follow truck routes, speeders, and people who register their cars illegally, and instead they'll continue to focus on ticketing cyclists--at least until such time as they can finally remove all the damn bike lanes.

By the way, drivers love to blame bike lanes for inconveniences like traffic and lack of parking, though if you towed and impounded every car in New York City that's illegally registered out of state you'd probably reduce the amount of traffic congestion in the city by 40%. If you're a New York City cyclist you may have noticed that half the cars that try to run you over have Pennsylvania plates and big "Brooklyn" decals on the rear windshield to let you know that they're not really from there, and it's twice as insulting to think that they shouldn't even be on the road in the first place.

Sadly the idea of treating vehicles proportionately to the amount of harm they're capable of causing makes about as much sense to the typical American as an LSD trip:

Looks like the Long Slow Documentary (LSD) was filmed in my neck of the desert, mountains, and along my daily commute.

For all you coastal folks who like the looks of the scenery and riding opportunities, I can assure it's all fake. It was computer generated, except for the stupid look on the rider's face, that was real.

So please stay where you are, the riding's not all that good around here. You wouldn't like it.

I'm not sure what facilities blogger provides for posting videos, but the frame width is off for that LSD video (and many others in the past) which means that viewers can a) only see a portion of the video (rightmost portion is cropped) and b) don't have access to the video options, like full screen, because they're out of frame.

So after reading the post for a bit, I discovered something that was going to require me to go get some paper towels. Then I read some more and scrolled down and found that I was going to need to go get some more paper towels.

It's worse than that, even. Look at the federal government, that's too cowardly to raise the gas tax to a) discourage driving, which would be good for everyone involved, or even b) pay for maintaining our road infrastructure as it is. So they start going after red herrings, like taxing cyclists. Pathetic.

Dennis @ 1.48: the position in the UK is very similar, with drivers often saying that cyclists "don't pay road tax" and are thus less entitled than motor vehicle drivers to be on the roads that drivers "pay for", which sense of entitlement was predicted by Winston Churchill "It will be only a step from this [road tax] for them to claim in a few years the moral ownership of the roads their contributions have created". This was part of a campaign to abolish road tax which ended with abolition in 1937. Nowadays we have vehicle excise duty which is based on vehicle emissions and is part of general taxation rather than being a 'road fund'. Despite this, and the fact that road tax never amounted to enough to build and maintain roads even when it existed as a road fund, and that non-drivers in fact subsidise drivers, the idea that roads are paid for by drivers persists.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!