I think what bothers me is that the 'head wetting' in this circumstance is clearly just another excuse to get p*ssed. They don't seem like a bunch of family oriented guys, and it appears they take any opportunity to get out on the town and write themselves off. Why can't he go out for a few drinks and be home at a reasonable hr?! Like any other sensible adult with family commitments..

also, his child is having surgery that week... Yes it is a few days beforehand, but who knows what the recovery process will be like..!

The icing on the cake is that it is your bday as well, OP. Yes, I will say that I would be very upset if my dh did any of the above. I would be surprised as well as it would be out of character.

Urgh the whole concept of 'head wetting' really grinds my gears. That new father should be with his wife helping with the baby! :angry: I'd be mad too OP... Xx

this.

it sounds like some outdated thing that the likes of prince Charles might do. never mind the woman has just broken herself in two to give birth to your child, better run along and have some drinks with your chums and leave the new mummy to cope with all the yucky bits. it's so bloody patriarchal and old fashioned.

seriously my dh would be hung out to dry if he even asked me if he could have a head wetting night out when our little one arrives. I don't honestly think it's anything decent, considerate guys do these days.

I completely understand where you're coming from. If this was a situation where the DH treated his wife well day to day and made her feel appreciated regularly, then the bday thing wouldn't be a big deal, IMO, espacially if he offered to celebrate it another day. Compromise and all that. But when you read about several scenarios where the husband is not treating his wife well and is being incredibly selfish, even after wife has voiced her hurt or concerns, it stops being situations about compromise and becomes situations where the DH completely disregards his wife's feelings. I'm just wondering how much a wife should tolerate before she decides enough is enough. And i'm not necessarily talking about leaving him.

As for the surgery. No excuse for the indifference.

I'm not trying to upset the OP. I think she deserves better. If he's not willing to be that better, what does that say about how he feels?

whilst I agree it's not right to tell someone to end their marriage, I feel like the OP has started a lot of these kinds of threads, all with the same theme (ie hubby is a useless lout). if she's asking for input on how would you feel etc, then to me, she's inviting opinions and feedback. I get there's also a vent aspect to bub hub but how much can one person put up with?

it just seems like we've seen a lot of this kind of thing from the OP on here and people are sensing a theme and advising accordingly.

for those that are aware of the history and backstory, the issue goes deeper than just the dh going out on this one occasion and missing her bday. all of his horrid, inconsiderate actions are being called into question here and people are commenting on that, rather than just the one isolated event.

whilst I agree it's not right to tell someone to end their marriage, I feel like the OP has started a lot of these kinds of threads, all with the same theme (ie hubby is a useless lout). if she's asking for input on how would you feel etc, then to me, she's inviting opinions and feedback. I get there's also a vent aspect to bub hub but how much can one person put up with?

it just seems like we've seen a lot of this kind of thing from the OP on here and people are sensing a theme and advising accordingly.

for those that are aware of the history and backstory, the issue goes deeper than just the dh going out on this one occasion and missing her bday. all of his horrid, inconsiderate actions are being called into question here and people are commenting on that, rather than just the one isolated event.

Sorry I disagree that it is okay to bring the posters history into every thread. She is clearly using bubhub as an outlet to seek advice and dragging up her history in every thread she starts could make her reluctant to reach out on here for support.

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