Mini Review: Fake Mustache

In this hilarious new book from New York Times bestselling author Tom Angleberger, a novelty-store mustache pits two seventh-grade friends against each other in a battle for the fate of the U.S.A.

The mustache in question is no cheap costume prop but the Heidelberg Handlebar Number Seven, a lip tickler so dazzlingly convincing, it can turn whole towns of people into mindless yes-men. Twelve-year-old Casper Bengue borrows ten dollars from his friend Lenny Flem Jr. to buy the mustache. So when a mysterious — and very short — mustachioed man goes on a bank-robbing spree, then launches a well-financed bid for the presidency, it doesn’t take Lenny long to realize that his buddy is up to no good. Too bad almost everyone else is completely under Casper’s spell.

With the amazing Jodie O’Rodeo, teen cowgirl queen, at his side and dozens of hypnotized townsfolk on his trail, Lenny will try to stop Casper — aka Fako Mustacho — on hiss seemingly inexorable march to the White House.

Review

This book, which had me laughing before I even opened it, was a silly and fun diversion — innocent entertainment — exactly what a girl (busy pretending to be an adult) needs now and then.

First Line

You may remember seeing me on TV when Jodie O’Rodeo saved the world.

Favorite Lines

Are you boys selling candy bars for your GottDangled school? No more candy bars! Get the Helchfitz out of here!

On a table I saw a stack of fuzzy gray hats. But then I wondered if they were really gray and fuzzy or if they were covered by a thick coat of dust. I reached out a finger. It was dust.

…he said to me at his birthday party. (I was the only one who came).

Sometimes it’s better to break a rule… than to break your heart!

The FBI is searching for a short man-about-town with a handlebar mustache. If you know any short men-about-town with handlebar mustaches, please rat them out at the tone.

Chapter 15: Ninja-Like Speed and Accuracy.

She handed me the key to the changing room, which was chained to a big piece of wood with glittery golden letters: LOSE THIS KEY AND I’LL RIP OFF YOUR FACE — SVEN.

…a depraved monster heck-bent on destroying America…

If all this was confusing to me, it was clearly even more confusing to the bodybuilders, who on top of spending too much time in sweaty places, were also brainwashed.

If you were standing on a catwalk that you really needed to get off of fast and you didn’t have a ladder but you did have a big vat of liquid boogers right under you, you would think of the same solution.