The Student Guide to Clubbing

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Welcome Week is over, the post-Welcome Week lull is left behind, and a new wave of mid-term hustle is on its way. My purpose here is to separate the wheat from the chaff, since I have observed a great number of obsessive partygoers, reality escapers, wouldntminders and rare visitors dancing/chatting/drinking/standing/fighting to the beats of completely different music styles in various venues unlike each other.

Here is your guide to a few places worth paying a late night visit to.

Monday:

I will just cut to the chase: if you are a student, especially a fresher, there is no way you will go anywhere but Whynot. Everybody goes to Whynot on Monday. If you have not checked out the longest running (16 years by the way) student night, then shame on you. People sacrifice Tuesday morning lectures for the sake of a good Whynot night out. Do not dare to miss the only LED room in Edinburgh.However, I have something up my sleeve for the real adventure seekers. Somewhat around 2am, leave Whynot and bounce straight to Garibaldis – a relatively new place enveloped in mystery. Once you are in, turn left and take a look at the mirrored ceiling – it has a rainbow gleam effect; you can even touch your blurry reflection (most people are tall enough to do that, whilst I failed). Time there moves fast and crazy as long as you catch the vibes of the moving crowd and well-known tracks to which everyone sings along.

Tuesday:

There is no better day to enjoy house music than Tuesday, and there is no better venue for it than Cabaret Voltaire. Be aware: it is quite costly if you miss GuestList before 10:30. Go get the stamps early and feel free to pre-drink in the nearest pub. The location – Cowgate – speaks for itself: Trainspotting settings, broken glass and inappropriate language add some sort of special piquancy through which you may experience the real British street adventure. The sort of adventure you have probably seen in low-budget films or 90s indie bands’ music videos. I have gone slightly off the topic though. If you do not mind an insane sweaty jolt to some striking tunes – grab a friend and there you go.

Wednesday:

I reckon you would want a break? No way, c’mon, it is Wednesday. Barely anything can beat Lulu’s Creme Soda – it is a student’s favourite. Possibly Bourbon’s Tabu, but I have not checked on that yet. However, in search of an alternative option you may come across Cav – a huge club with indie/rock/metal music on. Funky fact: some of the scenes from Trainspotting 2 were filmed in Cav in June 2016 and anyone could participate in filming. Let me be honest – the public at Cav are rather bohemian and the smell leaves a lot to be desired. If that does not sound appealing or satisfactory – venture over to Movement (another Cowgate discovery). Ladies & Gents, blow yourself out at Wednesday’s Blowout with extremely cheap drinks, beer pong, free entry on Guest List, good tunes – do I even need to carry on?

Thursday:

Thursday night used to be one of those quiet nights, till Bourbon opened its doors for young party-goers and gave the night a peculiar name for such a decent place – ‘Rascals’. The place is run by third years and highly promoted by second years. So don’t worry, you won’t find many Pollock halls faces; or rather, not yet. Nor will you get crumpled or knocked down by any 17-year-old-fake-ID-freshers.

Advice: come as early as possible (I doubt you’d fancy standing 40 minutes in the queue around midnight), get drinks at the African styled bar, go straight to the left to the “House Music Room”. People rarely reach it, so it is not packed. But most importantly, the flashing lights and the magical beats; close your eyes and dance – what can be a better way to escape from the back-breaking reality?

Friday:

On Friday you have a wide range of venues to choose from – exactly what you deserve after a long week of studying (or partying). There is so much variety that it is easy to get confused with what everybody’s up to and so you might end up staying in (personal experience). If you want to try something new and funky, check out Propaganda at The Liquid Room. They also host themed events – Madchester, Kanye (because it’s Kanye) and David Bowie tribute nights. Not a fan of vintage vibes? They do hiphop sometimes. The smoking area seems more like a chatting area, with a prolonged bar and some cosy wooden tables. Rumour has it they have got quality shisha – for someone with an acquired taste.

Weekends:

Saturday & Sundays might seem to be more relaxed days that you would spend with a book and a cuppa or recovering from your mid-week antics, but no. It would be silly of me not to feature live music gigs. How about The Electric Circus’s monthly highlights? Yet newcomers to the world of showbiz, a few cool quirky bands can turn an ordinary Saturday night into an unexpected trip. Lulu’s ‘Tipsy’ Sunday is packed on a weekly basis and quite popular among older students. Thumbs up for Drake and Beyoncé.