> Another of my older pieces of writing to share this evening. This was originally written at the beginning of December 2004 I’d Of Had To Miss The Dance I have Cerebral Palsy (CP) or to give it the exact diagnosis Spastic Cerebral Palsy Diplegia. I’ve had it my entire life and I’ve had to use a wheelchair to a certain extent my entire life. I think I find it relatively easy to deal with the majority of the time because I have never known any different. I’ve known what it’s like to be able to walk a slightly longer distance than I can now but I’ve never known what…

>OK so it’s tacky as hell but I just had to get that title in for a journal entry at least one time this month. And it’s apt today because I feel like I have very little energy. I did start taking the Abx this morning and I also spent most of it in bed. Today is the check in day for the Healthy You Challenge run by Scale Junkie and this is my first week as a member of that challenge. And before I’ve even updated for it or anything some people have already come by and said Hi so thanks for all the messages. I’m looking forward to…

>I’ve been feeling off all weekend and last night was absolutely convinced I had a UTI (I used to be the queen of them). My bladder and that area was that painful. But thankfully a trip to the nurse this morning reveals that whilst I am symptomatic nothing is showing up. And my temp is fine so there shouldn’t be something else making me feel like this. So I’ve antibiotics to start taking if I still have pain this evening or tomorrow morning. The nurse (nurse led minor illnesses clinic) checked with the doctor and basically with my history and those symptoms… I still feel off but I feel a…

>I lost 2lb this week. Which makes all the effort worth it. Only I’m not 100% sure that I actually did lose 2lb this week. I can’t stand unsupported but i literally had one finger on the grab rail in my bathroom and someone stood behind me just in case I went. The scales couldn’t make up there mind how much I weighed but taking the highest of the numbers it flickered between I’ve lost 2lb. Oh and my snazzy spreadsheet I set up (which actually does work, it seems) tells me just losing those 2lb dropped my bmi 0.3 points and I nearly lost a whole kilo. I’m pleased,…

>I’ve never been good at goodbyes. When I was little I would cry leaving my Grandparents house or if I didn’t get to wave goodbye to my Dad when he left for work. I got better. But I would always, always cry when I knew it was a long term “goodbye” be it weeks, months, who knew how long or possibly forever. The end of a holiday or something I’d look forward too would make me said and I’d cry. I’d always cry when it came to going to uni for the next term and usually when it came to leaving my friends and carers at the end of term…

>Creative writing last night was really fun. We did this ten minute exercise where he gave three prompts and then you just wrote for the time involved without editing, second guessing yourself, worrying about spelling or grammer and with enjoying it. The basic idea being “do or do not there is no try.” I found it slightly frustrating because I type fast and my brain moves at my typing speed when writing. But I was writing long hand and couldn’t get everything I wanted down in the time. I know that’s worrying about it and he said not to but it’s a physical (CP) thing rather than a writing thing.…

>In the bible it says “And on the seventh day he rested” or some such crap. However in my life that’s now been changed to “And on the seventh day of the diet she ate the chocolate and drank the coke.” So spoke the Book of Emma. Oh and I got my Quickie back after it being out of action for basically the whole of this month (actually, I think it was the end of August when it broke). It looks GREAT. And having it back feels great too. The Quickie logo on the back is different to the one that was on there but I need a properly look…

>Yesterday was a strange day and today is a bit weird too. Mostly because I don’t feel well – not sick but in pain and off. I felt better yesterday after getting to rant at two different people and I managed to avoid the emotional eating that had nearly occured. So overall yesterday was a pretty positive day even if it didn’t feel like it. Twice I wanted to “throw my toys out of the pram” at someone and didn’t. I’m pleased about that because it is something I’m trying to work on. But equally I think things probably won’t change there until I do say/do something and so…

>Five days of no coke and no chocolate, done (Gordon Ramsay stylee today). It’s definitely getting easier although I do feel a little headachy now. I need to be a little better at pushing water tomorrow. I’ve spent a lot of today and yesterday being busy and doing stuff which I’m very pleased about – it makes me feel productive and like I’ve achieved a lot. But leaves less time for drinking. Usually I have a bottle of coke on my desk so I drink without making any effort but no coke means having to go to the kitchen so I don’t drink as much or as often. Something…

>OK so it’s not the big brother house but whenever I think about what day I’m on in my healthy eating I always hear it in the way they say it on Big Brother you know that geordie bloke – “Day Three” – despite it being several years since I’ve actually properly watched Big Brother. I’m keeping on keeping on and that, really, is the best I can say about attempts at health today. Oh actually I know what I wanted to note and that was that I had anticipated being headachy and grouchy today as a cafeine withdrawal thing, it usually kicks in as bad as it’ll get around…