Sunday, November 20, 2011

For all you crafters out there:)

You know those moments throughout the day or at that moment at the end of the day when you just feel your little world, as great or not so great as it is, has completely exhausted you and you just want to collapse right where you're standing and sleep for a week? But alas, you can't because you are not done being a mommy for the day or you have a pretty little mess awaiting you or ( you fill in the blank)? I felt like that tonight.

I told the boys it's time for bed so upstairs we ran - yes you read that right, I have two boys:) They had a bath, infused with glow sticks. And I don't know if it was the excitement of the glow sticks, the short nap they had today or the jawbreaker they licked for over an hour, (yummy) but their energy levels were no where near coming down. I let them play for a little while longer while I sat on the floor and watched them race back and forth and back and forth, all while they are laughing hysterically over the fact that they are chasing one another, ps I love brothers.

Well, It all ended when I smelled something burning and after I raced downstairs to make sure the christmas lights weren't burning (they weren't) I put my sniffer into action and smelled light sockets, nightlights, I smelled dirty pants (mmm), something still smelled like it was burning, but what!?

Then I saw it....

a little smoke rising from the lamp on the nightstand between the boys bed, and a tiny rubber tire resting ontop of the lightbulb, innocently being burned bc a child was curious. I took a deep breath and pulled that melting tire off that light bulb. I looked into the faces of my boys, and the one who cannot lie, my eldest, was staring at me in complete repentance, "I'm so sorry mommy! I didn't know what would happen!" Well at least he was sorry, I lectured him and told him he almost burnt the house down (hey shock factor is a part of parenting right?) and he said he would never do it again! He was actually pretty cute, it would have been impossible to get really mad. Well, down came the energy, phew! I love them soo much and I am so thankful they had fun (aside from the burning tire;), I just couldn't keep up tonight!

I read them a story, sang, prayed with them and then sluggered downstairs to my awaiting mess of Christmas decor, that i had zero motivation to put up.

I resorted instead to doing one of my most favorite things, talking to Kevin (on the phone). Kevin is wonderful, he makes me laugh, he brings me endless joy and he is the biggest reason why I don't get too much done at night anymore. And I am becoming more and more ok with that - the not getting anything done part. I clean and get some things done when he isn't around, but when it comes time to talk to Kevin or for him to come here, everything else is put on hold. How many times do you really get to fall in love? I say soak it up!

I have been enjoying every cuddle, and every sweet moment, and I smile until my cheeks hurt. Why not? Kev is easy to love, & we have a blast together. He is such a good good man. I am blessed to know him and even more blessed to be able to love him and be loved by him!

But I get little done while falling madly in love with this man. I have been trying not to live my life as a hamster, running as fast as my legs can carry me on that little wheel (aka life) and it's hard. I run my own little business SEEN HERE and that is soo much fun, but takes priority after my boys and Kevin and is doing really well by the way - thank you to all those who have supported me! And I like to dip my fingers into crafts, art, writing, decorating, creative kid stuff! I always have some project going, always have someone I need and want to catch up with and then there are the LISTS, I am obsessed with lists, how does anyone get anything done without them? So then I have the things my lists remind me to do, the things that I have to do but would rather not, like pay bills, fix burnt out light bulbs (still on the list), set up this account, call that company, wash the dishes, do the laundry, dry cleaning (on the list for a year now) praise the Lord I don't have a pet (see one more reason you shouldn't have a pet:) I wish I was an animal lover, wait no i dont'...i just wish I was so I didnt' shudder when a dog licks me:P

I think we convince ourselves we really need to do this or that or get such and such done if we want to succeed (not talking about bills and that type stuff) and we feel we failed if our mental to do list isn't completed by days end but I think alot of that is in our heads, I think that just maybe we put too much on our plates, i know I do!

If I see a good craft I usually convince myself I have to make it! It's like my brain wont' stop thinking about it until I do. BUT.... in the big picture it's just going to stress me out more if I put it before doing something i really should be doing. (are you non crafters laughing at how i see craft projects as a vital part of life? laugh away haha i know you got your crutch too lol) So I realized if I'm going to spend my free time in the evenings with Kevin then i have to be alot more choosy about what I do when I have that little bit of free time without him there and lately it has been spent doing my bible studies (instead of crafts), which is pretty sweet too.

I think this is called prioritizing :-) Apparently I'm still learning.

So I am trying my best to SLOW down, enjoy my boys more, enjoy Kevin and not stress about NOT doing EVERYTHING i think i should be doing. I think we could all use a little slower pace of life, soak up every moment you can with your kids, with your special someone, pay those bills but don't stress if your house isn't perfect when you have company (telling myself that too) or if you haven't checked off everything on your list as you slip into bed, I think both you and I will be thankful we snuggled on the couch, played with our kids, read a good book or had coffee with a friend instead of finishing that Christmas wreath (my next project lol) or making the house spotless.

As Kevin so graciously told me tonight, "Tara, you're mess will still be there in the morning, don't worry about it:)" ha ha exactly. Anyway... dating Kevin has caused me to learn alot, but today I am very grateful for the "slowing down and just enjoying part. I'm embracing the things that really matter and I am less anxious and I'm pretty sure that's a good thing for everyone close to me (unless you are my mom or my sister who helps me tidy up alot more now!!)

1 comment:

Anonymous
said...

Hey Tara, I always love reading your blog!! Thanks so much for always being honest and real and sharing some difficult stuff at times and the amazing things as well!! Read this post and instantly thought of another blog I love and figured if you haven't seen it already you MUST!! Check out... Enjoying the Small Things :) Perfect for all us crafters who will craft before laundry any day!!! :) Tracy

Our Story making a difference

The accident that began our new and different life...

Who is Tara

I am a mommy to two amazing little boys! And a new wife to my sweet hubby Kevin.
In September 2008 I was then married to Preston, a wonderful, incredible man who has forever shaped who I am. Preston lost his life six years ago. I was 10 weeks pregnant and had an 19month old.
I have been working through the most difficult moment i have ever faced and you will find my heart spilled onto this blog. But the Lord is faithful. He gives me the grace, strength, peace and hope I need to get through each day. Single parenting, remarriage, fertility journey, it's all here! And God has been blessing my socks off lately, I am thankful, amazed and more thankful. God is good, through the bad and the good!