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A blog is a place to get things off your mind and your heart. We’ve turned it into something entirely different and thus less therapeutic. When I first started blogging I did a lot of therapy with stories and poetry. Over time I thought I lost that ability. I did. I didn’t have the physical or mental energy to keep going. After you blog as intensively as I did you might understand.

I also discovered another reason I stopped. Pain. I can’t sit for more than a minute, if even that log without great pain from the bottom of my spine and inching upward. Within minutes, unless I grit my teeth and forge my way ahead, I am lying down on a couch or a bed. Walking after sitting for a few minutes is difficult because of that pain, and just the pain of trying to stand brings even more pain.

That’s not why I am brokenhearted. I tell you all of that to give you an idea of what I am going through as I write this. Many of you probably won’t like what I have to say, but then again, this is a blog. This is my journal and my journey. Those of you that were around at the beginning you know the journey I’ve been through here and with you.

I am probably one of the biggest supporters and encouragers of women. If you were here during my earlier years you would have seen almost daily posts about how great I thought women were or interviewing women, or sharing their posts here on my blog. That is another reason this is painful because people are going to think I am against women.

I support the #MeToo movement in its original purpose. I think we can all agree that some have come along and not helped it very much and have only detracted from those who are real survivors of assault and sufferers of harassment. I think women who are assaulted should be heard, even if it is decades latter.

On Wednesday I watched the Senate Judiciary Committee Hearing testimony of Christina Blasey Ford and Judge Brett Kavanaugh. The way this entire thing has been turned in to a political circus is disappointing. Ms. Ford almost experienced the worst thing a woman can experience as far as I am concerned, other than maybe losing a child of any age. I have no doubt she was attacked. I do question if it was Judge Kavanaugh simply based on the other people stated as being there deny any such party occurred.

Those are my opinions. We are all entitled to those and friends all over the world believe different things but remain friends. I think those differences make for more interesting friends and even perhaps better friends because they allow for a person to grow and experience differing opinions rather than a homogenized world view.

I am not going to fault Ms. Ford’s gaps in memory because I also have memory problems, or problem, after suffering a Grade 3 concussion that ended up providing me with retrograde amnesia. In other words, I lost all of my memories from before that concussion. Was it entirely from the fall and my head striking against three hard surfaces in three different places before I impacted with the floor? Perhaps there is also an emotional trauma issue.

My only theory with Ms. Ford naming Judge Kavanaugh and his not being the attacker is that perhaps in her trauma and over time Judge Kavanaugh became, to Ms. Ford, the true attacker. No, I do not think she is naming him out of some spiteful plan to keep him from the Supreme Court. No, I do not think she ever wanted to be part of what some are calling a delaying tactic. I have read the timeline of from when she thought of writing the letter until her entering the courtroom today. She never wanted to testify. She never wanted people to know her name. She wanted the Committee to take her information seriously and use it in their decision making and investigation process. Not until after some of the Committee found out that the Ranking Member had a letter regarding Judge Kavanaugh did the existence of said letter end up public and the fire was lit. Within two days reporters of The New Yorker had the contents, somehow. She revealed her name two days later in The Washington Post because reporters were sitting outside her house, talking through the window trying to calm her dog down, and even entering her classroom while she was working. People were also calling her colleagues at Stanford University.

I am heartbroken that someone related to this hearing, this confirmation, leaked the existence of her letter and then obviously her name. Someone that was either elected to one of the most powerful positions in the nation or perhaps someone that works for one of them betrayed a woman that was terrified of going public. If you saw her today you would see that she is someone that seems very private about her personal life. I could see that by the way she spoke and her body language. But I’m not an expert on that, it’s just my opinion.

Once she was exposed she then did her civic duty, as she did in the beginning by notifying her member of Congress. If only Senator Feinstein had thought to ask Judge Kavanugh questions about sexual assault during her private question meetings with him, or even during the public hearings, or even in the 1200-1300 written follow-up questions perhaps none of Wednesday would have happened.

I am heartbroken over the hyper politicized nature of this entire procedure. All Senator Feinstein had to do was ask Judge Kavanugh in her on-on-one meetings, and if he said no, then contact Ms. Ford and say she believed there was a need to move into an official investigation. I actually believe Senator Feinstein thought she was doing the right thing and the best thing for Ms. Ford. That is not a joke. I don’t believe she is the type that would use this woman’s tragedy for political plots. The hyper politicized does not come from Senator Feinstein but by others sitting to her left during the hearing.

Even before the allegation came forward, Senator Feinstein’s colleague Senator Booker back in late July called Judge Kavanaugh Evil and anyone supporting him was complicit in evil a full month before meeting with him one-on-one on August 23. Senator Booker attempted through his phrasing of a question to get Judge Kavanaugh to say Yes he thought Ms. Ford’s allegations were a ploy being used against him. If Judge Kavanaugh had said yes, he would have been vilified even more than he has been so far. Her allegations do appear as though they are being used by members of the committee as a ploy to keep Judge Kavanaugh from being confirmed. Even before they had heard Judge Kavanaugh respond to the allegations they decided he was guilty.

I am brokenhearted that my country has forgotten the immense privilege it is to be considered innocent until proven guilty. Some of our elected officials, some who want to become President of the US someday, have forgotten that we are innocent until proven guilty. They have thrown it away in their desire to deny a man nominated by a President they despise. They throw it aside because this man is a conservative and they are afraid he will help overturn Roe v. Wade.

I am brokenhearted watching apparently intelligent adults on news programs with their minds and eyes closed to events in front of them just because they don’t like Ms. Ford or Judge Kavanaugh. Both sides have come out, even before the hearing on Wednesday, saying they believed one or the other. They hadn’t even had a hearing yet.

I am brokenhearted that I am even writing this. I fought with myself for hours before finally giving in I could not get away from it. I had to get all of this out, plus so much more but I’ve been at this for well over 30 minutes and my spine has locked up and is screaming at me. My migraines, which as a result of the concussion, never stop, not even for one second in the last, four years I think. Migraines, a bad spine, Fibromyalgia, and ME/CFS all combined are not a fun filled day at the beach.

I am brokenhearted because I am ashamed of how low my country has fallen. Not just in this hearing, but throughout government and the mindset of my fellow citizens

I once was a Republican. That changed during the early months of 2017. No, I am not a Trump supporter, nor was I then. My candidate didn’t make the final cut. Write-ins are a great thing. I decided that after the election I would at least give things a chance. Be optimistic. Be hopeful. Be prayerful. And now here we are, a nation that on the surface appears so divided we should almost divide in half and move people around. But we are the United States and we go that way through one hard fought war, and kept that way through the darkest and bloodiest time on our nations soil. (That didn’t involve the killing of Native Americans.) We will stay that way through what I pray is only two more years before some amazing person comes along, be it a Democrat or perhaps a different Republican steps up to make a challenge.

I am brokenhearted because I no longer have a party that I can call home. But I have decided I don’t like the party system any longer. Look what it does to intelligent people.

I am brokenhearted that I may have to leave this country someday because I stay awake at night thinking about the disaster we are. I think about all the good things we could be, could be doing. There is so much this country could solve if there was no other side of the aisle and everyone just sat together, talked, discussed, brainstormed, and tried to find commonalities instead of all the things that divide. Focus on the united not the divided. It’s on our nation’s name.

I’ve talked enough. I have journeyed through this page and hope I can now sleep a little with a less cluttered and frustrated mind. I hope no one has read this because it will likely frustrate whoever is foolish enough to take this journey with me.

Much Respect to Y’all and good night or perhaps I might say good morning by this time.

To start off with, this is not a completely fleshed out piece that I was hoping for. However, it is a piece that I hope with get some men out there to realize reality. Reality in many areas, some you may not even know I was going to come at you with. Eventually I’ll get that well formed piece of work with all the notations, citations, and other tions, but for now, here you have it, from a man in the middle of his worst Fibromyalgia Flare in years.

Society is a bunch of institutionalized isms. I hate the word ‘institutionalized’ these days. But, it’s a fact and we can’t avoid it and shouldn’t. Avoidance is one of the ways we are the way we are now.

Depending on whether you believe in some type of faith or you’re an atheist that believes in the evolution of man from molecules to man, at some point man flexed his muscles and put woman in her place. Okay, he put her where she couldn’t do him any harm and couldn’t have power over him.

In the beginning, as soon as there was both male and female on this planet, they were partners. One hunted, the man, and the female gathered, probably because she was smarter and was stuck taking care of the kids because men didn’t want to be bothered by the task, and thus couldn’t really travel to far. So, right there is the first sign of sexism and the oppression of women.

Many scientist and historians don’t think of men exerting authority until agriculture became a reality. At that time, men wanted to make sure the kids that would inherit his lands would have his DNA and not the neighbor’s.

Being a man of faith, the Christian faith, I believe God intended man and woman to be partners. After all He said;

26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, all the earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.”

27 So God created man in His own image;
He created him in the image of God;
He created them male and female. —Genesis 1:26-27

The word man here is not speaking of a male, but of people, human beings. Then you see God created human beings in His own image, male and female. You see God doesn’t look like us, at least not as far as I know. When we are made in His image, I believe this speaks to the aspects of God, the characteristics of God. After God has created male and female, saw everything he had created, and it was very good. He didn’t say this before Eve was created, but afterward. This means it all wasn’t very good without female, without Eve, the female characteristics of God.

And before anyone decides to jump to the comments and say God is a man and not a woman, I’m not saying anything to the contrary. What I am saying is that God is the mother and father of us all. He has all those characteristics in Him.

Eve was created to be Adam’s mate, his partner in taking care of everything. God gave everything to man, human beings, to have dominion over, not just the men. But once humans were kicked out of the Garden of Eden, that’s when things began to change.

People have used religion to oppress women for as long as there has been religion. In the Old Testament of the Bible, you see multiple wives, selling and trading women and daughters, and a lot of demeaning things. God didn’t approve of the idea of the whole multiple wives thing, it’s just what was happening so that’s what was written in the Bible. Then since the Ten Commandments apparently wasn’t clear enough he gave a set of laws for the Jews to follow, which included some pretty bad things. I’m just happy Christians don’t have a reason to look to Leviticus as a guide for our own way of handling things. The sad thing is, some Christians use the Old Testament to put women in a subservient role in the household.

I think in those very early days, like when Adam and Eve were first out of the Garden, the dividing of duties was simply a case of what made sense. Adam could travel farther to hunt, while Eve was able to breast feed the children and stay in the same area while she gathered, which research says provided as much as 70% of the calories for ancient human beings. Yep, women were the boss in that aspect.

As the centuries past, men exerted their strength over women to become more and more in control, to the point there was no questioning what was happening. It was all seen as a given. Oppression of women was part of the fabric of society, part of the institution of society.

In ancient Rome, during the 1rst Century AD, women were not even allowed to speak in public gatherings, which is in part commented on in Paul’s letters to the Corinthians in the New Testament of the Bible. Some men in Christian churches these days look to these letters to show that women are not supposed to speak in church, or even to teach. The fact was Paul was responding to a letter he had been given about problems in the church of Corinth. They had all sorts of people speaking at the same time, trying to take control of the church meetings. Not only women, but people speaking in tongues, which meant they were speaking in foreign languages. Paul basically said for everyone to be silent while whatever leader had been given the most recent incite to the teachings of Jesus took the lead for that meeting.

I speak about Christianity because that is my faith. Other faiths also oppress women, but they are not my area of expertise so I don’t feel I have a right at this time to comment on them.

As the centuries have past and scholars have been enlightened about many things regarding genders being equal in all the ways that matter, the Ignorant White American Man somehow believes that all things are equal in the systems of America. They should be, but, there are men who don’t want to give up their power to women. They are afraid of women for some reason. I suppose they think women may take some type of revenge on men of today for the millennia of mistreatment of women. Those men in power, in control of changing things for equality are basing women’s reaction on what they would do.

The Ignorant White American Man looks at Supreme Court Justices being female, governors, Senators, members of the House, Cabinet members, CEOs of major corporations and other positions where women are still in a very small minority and say, “see, things are equal.”

In the 2018 Fortune 500 list of CEOs, only 4.8% were women, a drop of 25% from 2017.

Like this:

Is it the end of the USA? After the recent Presidential election a lot of people were devastated with the results. I think if you base opinions on things said during the election period there would be some reason for concern. I for one am not worried. Why? Because I realize how campaigns are carried out in America and that Donald Trump is a salesman first. He knew how to play on what people most wanted to hear, mostly about jobs and ignored his idiotic rants. Were the rants the right things to say? No.

I’m hoping to see the person I’ve seen during one on one interviews as opposed to the campaign trail speeches where he veered away from his script and went off on a tangent. He’s not a great ad-libber. I’m also considering how politics works. Presidents get into office in America and not a whole lot actually happens. A few policies are worked on but over all not much really takes place and a great deal doesn’t change, especially when it comes to relations with other nations.

In addition, I’m hoping Trump’s ego keeps him focused. He will want to end up with a presidency better than Obama’s. So I hope he puts the right people in the real Cabinet positions that do things. So far all he’s chosen are advisory people, not actual Cabinet Secretaries. There is hope. Or so I hope.

My friends around the world don’t need to worry. My friends within the US don’t need to worry. Donald Trump has been a Democrat his whole life until recently. Not sure why he changed other than in reaction to how Obama made fun of him at a White House Press Diner a few years ago. Maybe he decided at that point to show the President and everyone there that he would have the last laugh.

As a Christian I am praying that common sense rules and I know that no matter what that God has control of my life and my ultimate reward. I’m here only for a brief moment in time as a visitor.

Again to my friends, don’t fear Trump or take seriously his rants he went off on during the campaign, they were just that, rants. Some of you won’t like what I’ve said, but I’ve been pretty quiet about all of this and everything else. Donald Trump wasn’t my choice for President. My choice wasn’t on the ballot. I put up with Obama for 8 years, I guess I can put up with Trump for the next 4.

If you’re still reading, note the great use of hope and pray in this post. That’s all we can ever do with anyone elected to anything.

My pen flows always,

Since our meeting and love sparked,

My muse is in my heart.

Hope y’all don’t mind the Closing Haiku. It’s been a while since I’ve done one. I’ve tried to stay out of the influencing of moods in the challenges lately. And honestly there does seem to be a bit more variety now that I no longer do an Opening Haiku.

NEW!LuAnne Holder:Divergence | Wind Rush. “Pause. Take a breath. Be surprised by the extraordinary joy of ordinary moments. Reflections on mindfulness through poetry and prose.” @LuAnne6

NEW! Dajena Mason: A Haiku in the comments of Claudette’s blog. I had to include it.Tickles My Pen | moonskittlesthrough remembrances, the muse hovers around me and tickles my pen“I am currently working as a high school English Language Arts teacher. I love interaction with my students even when they are a pain in the… ahem.. yeah :D”And there is more at THIS link by scrolling to the bottom.