Yes, we’re being a bit mean. But we do it only because we know that, in the end, Apple can still make everything alright, even if it comes well-after the iPhone makes its triple salto into mass-market orbit this holiday season. There’s a lot a computer can do beyond make phone calls and surf the web, and chaining this little powerhouse down is a damned shame of PSP-like proportions.

In the meantime, the only thing for it is to get a knitted iPhone, which offers something neither of these rivals can boast: cuddliness.