Event Details

HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE.

Normal Zack & Scott SylviaWho? Guess they are fill-ins, and apparently two zeros equal one in this case. They are from New Bedford…hahahahahahahahaha. We really shouldn’t pick on them, they have it bad enough, you know, with being who they are and all. Press that sync button on your controller again guys, that makes for a great performance.

Tonberry Hunter No really… who?

Frydae (aka Irrelevant)The man with the least watched Youtube videos and the self appointed leader of the New England Moohbah-noonelistensanymore movement. Riding the coattails of Frankie Bones into popularity amongst him and his two other DJ friends, he thinks he’s funny, and we think he is a joke too.

DephDeph was the only one that asked what room and what timeslot… and just so everyone knows, its 2:30-3:30 in the 2nd room so you know where not be. He thinks he is Richie Hawtin, he just might be, without the name, talent, taste, popularity, hair, height, bookings, career… actually he is more like a Richie Hasbeen or Richie Neverwas.

Vito CorleoneWhy the hell is Vito even on here? He plays mainstream clubs and parties in RI. Oh, and he plays headphone disco. Maybe we’ll just do that for his set, and not bring the headphones to help everyone out. He might play dubstep or something, trading one crappy genre for another. Awesome.

JSB If listening to a dead genre is your thing, JSB is your man. He is playing because he has something to do with the club, not sure what it is, but that’s why. Breaks suck, and JSB is out to prove it. We really couldn’t think of anything else to write, because nobody cares.

Steppo Steppo was one of the first people to play dubstep at raves in New England… thanks dick. Now, since its popular, (and most likely because he didn’t blow up because of it) he plays techno once in a while. But, no matter what he plays, he’s old.

Dan Desumthn Dan is a prick, constantly shitting on everyone that doesn’t agree with his own personal opinions. He thinks he has relevance because he’s been going out for so long, but really he’s just a jaded old bastard playing music that no one listens to anymore. Come out and take a breather from dancing while Dan plays.

Michael Savant We DGAF and neither should you. This hipster asshole seems to just jump on every new genre that seems to come along. Who knows what the hell he’s playing, but if they mentioned it for a day on some fucking indie blog he’ll probably play it.

SoappyIt's surprising that Soappy is even doing this considering its not a Disney themed event. Don’t know why we included him on an 18+ event when the median age of his fanbase is 12. A Tight Crew party is like attending a Jonas Brothers or Justin Beiber concert only the music is a lot worse. On a side note, we really wanted Keither, but Happy Hardcore? No.

DBMKIf you want to know how great DBMK are just ask them. With the amount of time they spend whoring themselves out online they should be spending it practicing instead. One of them lacks talent (and hair) but makes up for it in never getting off the microphone. The other acts like a born again Christian… seriously Jack, you’re no fucking fun anymore. We want less Bill Cosby, and more Chris Farley. Less Will Smith, and more ODB. Less… eh, you get the idea.

Jeff LeClairThe only reason Jeff is booked because other people want to get booked, certainly not for his (lack of) talent. He also did the flyer, which you can probably tell as it looks the same as every other one he does. We don’t think he is even playing, but he has to be there anyway. How many bitter geriatric fucks are on this lineup? Have another drink buddy.

Photos by James ColettaJames takes pictures and we’re all REALLY impressed. He takes advantage of drunk girls and gets them to show him their boobs, and then calls it art. Wish we could all afford his equipment and say we’re talented. Seriously everyone rags on DJs for being button pushers? This guy has only one, pretty hard to screw that up.

Presented by VOLUME (Nice job not keeping DJ VENOM on your roster guys, being only the founder, most popular and talented member of the crew. Now you’re left with… well we don’t know who you’re left with)

Add’l promo by Smil-e – Keep on Smilen.He likes his technology from the 80’s and his women from the late 90’s. A man whose love of vinyl and turntables will ensure that his promotion company will continue to be non-existent through the next decade. We salute you for hanging on to a hayday that never existed, being the only man older than Ede Armand, and for being obsolete, like the equipment you unconditionally love… yet don’t know how to use.

Oh Jeff Gil sucks, and True Crew went out with the Asylum.

To anyone not included on here, don’t worry, we HATE you too, maybe we’ll have time to get to you later.