April Parenting Resolution: Respect

It is always easier to lose our temper when we are tired, stressed, trying to figure out what to do, improvising what to do each day, and completely disconnected from our kids. Therefore, now that we are taking care of ourselves and our relationships, we have re-connected with our kids and know how to love on them a little bit better, and we have established good routines that work for our family, we can start focusing more on modeling good behavior. Good behavior has its roots in respect, it all begins with respect.

The overarching theme is a respect for children, and treating them with the same importance and positive regard as I would want to be treated.

One of the most important aspects of respectful parenting is treating children like people. Our children are whole people from the moment they are born, deserving of the same respect as anyone else.

Unfortunately, in our society, children are not often treated with enough respect. They are often seen as inferior to adults. Respecting our children means not to treat them in ways that would be offensive if done to an adult. That means they shouldn’t be yelled at, grabbed, disregarded, belittled, hit, insulted, manipulated…

Children are unique people with unique personalities, unique likes and dislikes, unique preferences, and unique points of view that we should respect. Respecting our children means controlling our impulse to lose it when they act like the immature little human beings that they are, to listen to what they have to say and to take their perspectives into consideration.

Respecting our children is not forcing them into blind compliance, but meeting them where they are and leading them with gentle guidance in the direction we want them to go, just the way we would do with an adult.

The heart of respectful parenting is following the Golden Rule and treating your kids the way you’d want to be treated — if you were a kid.

When we treat our kids with respect, we open paths of communication and build a relationship built on trust. I would consider myself a pretty respectful parent, but there are times when I lose it or when I give my daughters orders without acknowledging their point of view. During the month of April, I will focus on RESPECT.