Celebrities in the CoS

From: ljduchez@en.com (Lou Duchez)

wbarwell@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM (William Barwell) wrote:
>
> OK. How many famous people do we have that are SubGenii?
> We can't let the Scientolgists outscore us!
>
> Mojo Nixon
> Devo members
> Negativland
> Gilbert Shelton
> Dave Letterman
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Really? You sure he's not just trying to be a hep-cat?

> Pee Wee Hermann
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Never sent his money in, so he don't count. And look what happened
to him!

> Elvira
^^^^^^
Really? She always seemed just a wee bit too ... banal to be one of
us. Hey, what do I know. Anyone who can keep that figure for so
many years, must have a direct link to "Connie".

Don't forget:

Todd Rundgren
Tori Amos (not confirmed -- but rumor has it that, on a talk show, she
claimed to be "Bob" in a previous life)

Dave Barry (yes, I sent him a pamphlet, and he said
he was already "of the faith")
Robert Anton Wilson
William Burroughs (well, they were both in THREE-FISTED TALES)
Lloyd St. Alcorn
Steve Jackson (probably... the SJG writers drop references
to "BoB" into GURPS books, and the Book of
the SubGenius is in the bibliography for
Illuminati...)

As for these SubGenius celbrities, I can clear up a few mistakes and make
a few additions.

David Letterman, Elvira, and Todd Rundgren are not dues-paying members.
Long ago, somebody who knew him told me Rundgren was into it (that's how
his name got in the p.r. mix), but apparenty it's untrue. (His DRUMMER was
a Member, though.) I have never heard from Steve Jackson; they just cop
the occasional idea. MC 900 Foot Jesus is not a Member; the reference to
the 900 foot Jesus in the book is from the VISION of such a mountain-sized
Jesus reported by Oral Roberts, which is also what inspired the MC, I'm
sure.

David Byrne is a dues-paying Member, although we haven't heard from him
since the TRUE STORIES mess. Pee Wee Hermann is a card-carrying Member; we
figure that first season with Dobbs on the wall is worth $10 so he only
owes us another $10.

I was surprised to see that Dave Barry considers himself a Sub, because he
never sent in his $, though his address is on the mailing list. Robert
Anton Wilson, yes, of course! Also St. Kerry Thornley, co-founder of the
Discordians. Also Dr. Timothy Leary, Ken Kesey, David Ossman of the
Firesign Theater... R. Crumb and Frank Zappa have both plugged the Church
often, though they didn't spend the $. (Crumb sent some GREAT clip art
though, good enough to be worth the $20 (1983 prices). Mark Mothersbaugh,
his grilfriend Nancye Fergussen, and Bob Casale are paid-up members from
DEVO. Negativland, yeah, all but the Weatherman who in his Janorlike
weirdness "flies alone." William Burroughs has helped us out only from
afar. Lloyd St. Alcorn is Pope David N. Meyer. Eugene Chadbourne was
recruited by Sterno. Richard Linklater of SLACKERS fame never officially
joined but has always been respectful. His editor is a Member. Wiley
Wiggins, who starred in DAZED AND CONFUSED, is a Member. I really tried to
get Ray Harryhausen into it, but he got mad at me. I think he's REALLY
conservative. Danny Elfman has expressed admiration for the Church to
several SubGeniuses, but said, "I don't answer mail." Bleepo says that
Howard Stern really enjoyed ARISE, but he's got his own agenda...

Magician Jeff "Magnus" McBride... Penn Jillette of Penn and Teller... John
Keel of UFO fame... R. Stevie Moore... Kibo... the writer Colin Wilson has
been friendly... Hakim Bey... John Shirley, Lewis Shiner, Rudy Rucker...
Nancy Collins... Chris Gore of Film Threat, I guess... I got Bob
Walkenhorst of the band The Rainmakers interested, but he moved... Shadoe
Stevens... Zoogz Rift... Otter and Morning Glory Zell from the Church of
All Worlds... Jello Biafra... I guess it all depends on what you call a
"celebrity," and what you call a "SubGenius."

I myself am sometimes treated like a celebrity, but only by the
younger-type SubGenii who haven't caught on yet that "celebrities" are all
just nose-pickin' yay-hoos like themselves... which may be especially true
in my case. I'm always honored when somebody wants me to sign their book,
but I try to put 'em at ease about it because when I was a kid and met
some of my heores for the first time -- David Ossman and Ray Harryhausen
come to mind -- they were very gracious, friendly, not at all stuck-up,
and tried to put ME at ease -- and it really made a difference.

Keep in mind that "our" heroes are usually not movie stars, best-selling
airport book authors, sports stars, or mainstream rock stars. Those people
ARE usually assholes, and I think it's because of the nature of their
fans. We weirdo-artist-"celebs" are so fucking grAteful that ANYBODY is
buying our stuff or even paying attention that we value every "fan" we
have. (Excluding outright obvious stomach-turning Bobbies and the like,
needless to say. But I have found that it sometimes takes weeks to
distinguish someone as a mere Bobbie as opposed to a "regular
good-ol'-Yeti.")

This NET CLENCH concept sounds like a good idea, but I should point out
that all you have really done is NAME it. It seems to me that alt.slack
itself composes a Net Clench in that there are a dozen or two "regulars"
who were here and very active before the old-timey, print-and-tapes-world
SubGenii like myself started wandering in, and you guys have your own
special identities as SubGenius superstars entirely independent from the
non-Net-going SubGenii (who as yet know practically nothing about you, but
I hope to change that, because I think that we might be able to produce a
less fancy, cheaper new SubGenius book COMPOSED of alt.slack
transmissions... IlluminetPpress is hot to print up SubGenius stuff in
book form that Simon & Schuster wouldn't want, such as Stark Fist reprints
and possibly this "WORLD OF ALT.SLACK" idea -- any suggestions or
warnings?)

Also, remember that ideally, every lone SubGenius IS a CLENCH UNTO ITSELF.
In "real" life, the multiple-member "clench" concept usually doesn't work
for long -- SubGenii are by definition so different from ONE ANOTHER, and
so eccentric (even if in HIDDEN ways), that after a few weeks or months of
regularly getting together, they inevitably rub each other the wrong way,
and come to hate each other, and the "clench" breaks up. The "Clench"
concept was not a Dobbs directive, but something Philo and I inserted in
the first Book just because we thought it made sense. (And that's JUST
where we went wrong!) I'm not kidding; I've seen it happen over and over
again. Very few of the Dallas SubGenii will even speak to each other. (I
have stayed out of this for the most part, and have even maintained a
speaking-terms sort of relationship with Buck Naked by virtue of NOT
SPEAKING WITH HIM VERY OFTEN.) All of the old-time Original Apostles are
still friends, and I think that's largely because we all live in different
cities. The sole exception is that, miraculously, Vreedeez and Dr. Howll
have managed to share an apartment without terrible fights for years now;
but I think that's because those two are THE EXACT DIAMETRIC OPPOSITE OF
EACH OTHER in terms of personality, while they share the very common
SubGenius obsession with monster movies and comic books.

So you never know.

What makes the Net Clench potentially the ONLY workable Clench concept is
that it's a Clench in concept only. Most of us are WIDELY separated or, if
two happen to live next door to each other, they don't KNOW it. Thus, none
of us have to put up with each other's irritating mannerisms, bad breath,
whiny voices, embarrassing real-life nerdliness, obnoxious
overbearingness, or whatever the case may be. It is a strictly
brain-to-brain level of communication. Our fights cannot come to blows.
>From what I've observed in my brief time here so far, most of the more
active (i.e., blabbermouthed) Subs -- I like to include myself in that
august number -- there's enough mutual respect that what might be fightin'
words on "the outside" can be brushed off fairly easily here, because
let's face it, without the insults and flaming, it just wouldn't be nearly
as much fun.

The "regulars" of alt.slack already define a sort of Clench, and it has
already lasted longer than most 'earth plane' clenches last. Nice name,
though.

WHAT AM I DOING??? I was just gonna READ these posts, not write ESSAYS at
the end of each of 'em!! MY GOD THE WARNINGS WERE ALL TRUE!!