‘I’m Sorry Marion’ says Weasel-Faced, Big-Nosed, BBC Presenter

Ageing, greying and almost certainly balding BBC Tennis presenter John Inverdale apologised for his insensitive remarks about Marion Bartoli yesterday, saying looks should not come into sports commentaries.
The rat-like presenter, visibly sagging around the eyelids, accepted that just because Wimbledon Champion Bartoli was not also a contracted Victoria’s Secret lingerie model was 'probably not' a good enough reason to ban her from ever stepping foot near Wimbledon ever again.
The remarkably weasel-featured Mr Inverdale also conceded that Ms Bartoli’s total failure to win the 2013 Miss France title shouldn’t detract ‘too much’ from her 2013 Wimbledon title. Inverdale, trying desperately to suck in his middle age spread and wearing an obvious spandex man-bra in a sad and ultimately vain attempt to hide his hideous moobs, said he was wrong to bring up Ms Bartoli’s looks as he realised not everyone could be a middle-aged, has-been super-stud like him.
The embarrassingly small-penised Inverdale still maintained however that Anna Kournakova was the ‘greatest female tennis player in history’ due to her incredible progression past the 3rd round in Wimbledon 1996, combined with her amazing ability to ‘consistently boner me up from a good 50 yards.’
John Inverdale’s parents said that despite him being a complete prat and enormous bell-end of the highest order with an outdated 1980’s haircut, they still loved him, and said he’d always be our beloved ‘young rat-face’ to them. They told him he would, however, need to fight and scrap ferociously (like an angry rat or weasel) for every small piece of credibility he could get.