Thursday, 13 October 2016

Top tips for supporting a friend with an eating disorder

Chloe provides some top tips on how to be a supportive friend to someone going through the difficulties of an eating disorder.

- Chloe Murray

I have never had a
friend going through an eating disorder. However, I have been that friend and I
know what it’s like to have people worrying about you and trying to help. Here
are some top tips for those of you with friends who are experiencing the
difficulties of an eating disorder.

1. Make sure your friend
knows that you're always there for them, no matter what. They might not want to
talk about their feelings but just knowing that you're supporting them is the
best help there is!

2. Your friend might say
things they don't mean.They might distance themselves from you and not make an
effort. In the depths of an eating disorder, nothing else matters other than
getting thinner. Please be patient with them, it’s hard for them to be rational
and to distinguish between their own thoughts and the thoughts of their eating
disorder.

3. Your friend might lie
about what they have or haven't eaten which can be frustrating. They are only following
the strict rules of their eating disorder and at times, for them, it can seem
like lying is the easiest option. You have to understand that this isn't your
friend talking, this is their eating disorder, which makes them do or say
things they don't want to.

4. Try not to threaten them
into eating. My friends always used to threaten to "tell the
teachers" if I ever skipped lunch at school in an attempt to make me eat.
This just pushed me further away from them, leaving me feeling alone and
unloved. At the end of the day it is down the sufferer to get better and the
first step for them is wanting recovery.

5. Keep persevering. Please
keep inviting them out. It can be frustrating if an invitation always gets
declined. Your friend may find social activities difficult, especially if they
involve food. It can be hard for them to escape their "comfort zone"
and venture out from a routine in which they feel safe in. Don't give up! Your
friend will probably feel guilty and left out for missing out on any social
events and will hope to be included in future.

6. Don't treat them
differently. Your friend is not defined by their eating disorder. Although it
may try to mask his/her former personality, they are still the same person they
used to be. Recovering from an eating disorder is all about finding other
things, other than losing weight that make you happy. You can help your friend
realise all the other wonderful things in life that are worth fighting for!

7. Set a good example. Try
not to talk about weight/calories/food or exercise. It is easy for someone with
an eating disorder to feel guilty. They often compare themselves to others and
if they feel that eating more/exercising less than others that will cause
excessive guilt and perhaps become jealous of you.

I'm sure it can be so
hard to support a friend going through an eating disorder and I can assure you
that it is so extremely difficult for them too. I was lucky enough to have a
huge support network cheering me on in my recovery and it helps a great deal! I
can honestly say, without my friends and family encouraging me and inspiring me
daily, putting up with my tantrums and being patient with me, I'd still be
consumed by anorexia. Recovery is possible, but it takes more than just the
sufferer to fight!

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