Jokes
for Gator Fans

Why does a Georgia Bulldog place his diploma on the dashboard?...... So
he can park in a handicapped zone!

Why does the St. Johns River flow north? ...... Cuz Georgia sucks!!!!!!!!

One day, two University of Georgia students were out turkey hunting for
Thanksgiving. One of the students starts having a stroke and he thinks
he is dieing, and he passes out. The other kid calls the police and says:
"Hello, I think my partner here is dead - he isn't moving or anything."
The operator replies: "Ok, its ok, go up to him and make sure he is dead."
You hear a silence then all of a sudden you hear...BOOM! BOOM! The student
comes back on the phone and says: "Yah, I took care of that, what now?"

Did you here that the OJ Simpson trial was moving to Athens?? ......
Yep! They wanted to move it to a place where they knew nothing about football.

FSU
jokes
How do you make Seminoles cookies? ... Put
them in a sugar bowl and pound them for 60 minutes.

An FSU grad sees an ad for a $99 cruise. So, he
goes down to the travel agent and shells out his money. The travel agent
hits him over the head with a baseball bat, stuffs him in a sack, throws
him out the back window onto a raft and cuts the raft loose. The FSU grad
wakes up to find himself adrift, along with another FSU grad. The first
FSU grad says "I hope they serve dinner on this cruise." The second FSU
grad replies, "They didn't last year."

After Bobby Bowden dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him
on a tour.

He shows Bobby a little two-bedroom house with a faded FSU banner hanging
from the front porch. "This is your house, coach. Most people don't
get their own houses up here," God says. Bobby looks at the house, then
turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill.

It's a huge two-story mansion with white marble columns and little
patios under all the windows. Gator flags line both sides of the sidewalk
and a huge Gator banner hangs between the marble columns. "Thanks for
the house, God. But let me ask you a question. I get this little two-bedroom
house with a faded banner and Spurrier gets a mansion with new Gator
banners and flags flying all over the place. Why is that?" God looks
at him seriously for a moment. "That's not Spurrier's house," God says.
"That's mine."

What do you call a drug ring in Tallahassee?........A huddle.

What do FSU grads call UF grads?....... BOSS!

Directions to Tallahassee. Go north 'till you smell it. Go west 'till
you step in it.

The FSU football team was placed in a remedial English class. The professor
asked the class, "Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?" All of
the players raised their hands. "The appeal," they shouted with Seminole
pride.

What do Florida and FSU students have in common? ...... They all could
get admitted to FSU.

"What's the best thing to ever come out of Tallahassee????? I-10!!!

FSU sorority girls are so stuck up they won't eat Ladyfingers until they
are manicured!

LSU
jokes

Two boys are playing football in City Park in NEGainesville when one is attacked by a rabidRottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy
rips off aboard of the nearby fence, wedges
it down thedog's collar and twists, breaking
the dog's neck.

A reproter from the Gainesvill Sun, who was strollingby sees the incident, and rushes over to interviewthe boy. "Young Gator Fan Saves Friend FromVicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Gator fan," the little hero
replied.

"Sorry, since we are in North Central Florida
I justassumed you were," said the
reporter and startsagain. "Little
Seminole Fan Rescuses Friend FromHorrific
Attack," he continued writing in hisnotebook.

"I'm not a Seminole fan either," the boy
said.

"I assumed everyone in the area was either for
theGators or the Seminoles. What
team do you rootfor?" the reproter asked.

"I'm a LSU fan!" the child said.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook
andwrites, "Little Redneck Nut Kills Beloved
Family Pet."

Miscellaneous
jokes

A Seminole, a Hurricane, and a Cornhusker are all
in the same car. Who's driving?
........The sheriff.

Guy goes on a recruiting trip to Tallahassee, sees a golden telephone,
and asks what it's for, Bobby says, "it's a direct link to heaven", guy
says, "wow, can I use it?" , Bobby says, "yeah, but it'll cost ya $50",
guy says "nah, don't have any cash on me."

He goes on to Tennessee, and sees the same telephone, "hey, is that a
direct link to heaven?" he says. Phil says, yeah, if you wanna use it,
it'll cost ya $75." guys says, "nah, don't have any cash on me."

Next he visits UF, and sees that SAME telephone, "hey, is that a direct
link to heaven?" he says. Steve says "sure, go ahead and make a call,
it's free", the recruit stands up confused and says "free? Bobby said
it cost $50 and Phil said $75...why is it free here?" Steve says, "well,
my boy, here in Gainesville it's a local call"

One day, an FSU player and a Tennessee player were at a bar. The Tennessee
player asked the FSU player what FSU meant. The FSU player replied, "Florida
Stomped Us." Then he asked the Tennessee player what UT meant. The UT
player told him, "Us Too."

Tennessee
jokes

What's the number one pickup line in Knoxville?.......Nice Tooth.

How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Tennessee?
.....Because if were invented anywhere else they would have called it
the teethbrush.

Tennessee is the only state where road salt is a seasoning. (quoted from
Jay Leno, on The Tonight Show, as he was discussing
Tennessee's new road kill law)

Albert Einstein went to a party and asked people their I.Q.
....he asked this guy and the guy said,"120". Einstein said, "great, we
can talk about nuclear fission". then he asked this girl and she said,"110"
and he said "great, we can talk about the angle of the worlds axis." and
finally he went up to this guy and the guy said,"51" and einstein said,"how
bout them vols!"

A UF and a UT fan were driving in opposite directions one dark stormy
night and the had a collision in the middile of the road. Both of them
survived and were happy to so. To celebrate the UF FAN said to the UT
fan "lets have a drink" and he pulled a bottle of Jack from the trunk
of his car. The Gator poured the to a drink and said "lets put our differences
behind us" The UT fan drank up and the said "go ahead my friend" and the
Gator said "no thanks ill wait until the cops arrive"

Q: Why does Tennessee wear that hideous orange?

A: It is the only color you can attend the game in on Saturday, hunt in on Sunday, and spend the rest of the week picking up trash by the side of the road.

Good
Sports

(This section is to show that Gators can take a joke, but if you want
to enjoy these more, insert the word

State after Florida or Seminoles instead of Gators.)

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "Mommy, mommy! I want
to be a gator when I grow up!"

Mom answers, "Now Johnny, you know you can't do both."

(Ahh, but life is more fun that way.)

How do you keep a Gator out of your yard? ......Put up a goal post!

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Hey barkeep, did you ever hear the
one about the Florida Gators?" Four huge men stand up
and approach the man. One of them says, "We play football at UF,
you wanna tell that joke to us?"

The guy replies, "What? And have to explain it four times?"
(I don't get it.)