John McCain’s Latest Devious Attempt To Steal Retarded Women

Here’s a post from the “McCain Report,” which is one of several terrible blogs on McCain’s website. He’s trying to steal Hillary’s old ladies by posting videos from ABBA, a Swedish pop quartet from the ’70s. After Vietnam, John McCain had sex affairs with the two girls in this group before divorcing his crippled wife for yet a different mistress. “Seriously.” [John McCain via HuffPo]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

He’s also a HUGE fan of the Iraq war, but that didn’t make it to the top 10. Oh well. 10 more Hillary supporters for WALNUTS!

NebraskashireGentry

the McCain campaign’s attempts at “Internet” leave much to be desired.

bitchincamaro

I’m thinking “Waterloo” might be more appropriate.

SocialList

“ABBA?Do the kids think they’re groovy?Really.That’s not some commie acronym,is it?No?Then put some of their nickelodeon features on the that information roadway thingy you keep prattling on about,and don’t bother me any more tonight.I’m going to be in my masturbatoreum,perusing my photographic collection of the great Jennie Lindh.”

queeraselvis v 2.0

Appropriate. A Republican advertising his affection for a group that once sang “Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight…”

Maybe he’s just nostalgic for the days when Eurovision was all about the music.

madirishman

Proof positive that McCain’s mind is hopelessly stuck in the 70’s–the era of bad music, loose women in Qiana dresses, and some pretty good weed.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

metropolitan

i’m thinking that post was not for hillary’s older women, but for the strong gay men support she had.
just sayin’

ManchuCandidate

You can vote, you can cry, losing the Hils of your life
See that Hils, watch that scene, reel in the Bitter Queens

Election day and bitters low
Looking out for a white to go
Where they need the angry fems, getting in the swing
You come in to look for a king
Anybody could be that guy (except the black guy!)
Election’s young and the music’s high
With a bit of pandering, everything is fine
You’re in the mood for a stance
And when you get the chance…

You are the Bitter Queens, old and mean, only sixteee!
Bitter Queens, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can vote, you can cry, losing the Hils of your life
See that Hils, watch that scene, reel in the Bitter Queens

You need McCain, you turn him on
Kick Barry’s hopes and then you’re gone
Passing on the brother, any white will do
You’re in the mood for a stance
And when you get the chance…

You are the Bitter Queens, old and mean, only sixteee!
Bitter Queens, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can vote, you can cry, losing the Hils of your life
See that Hils, watch that scene, reel in the Bitter Queens

StupidGeek

The first time I ever heard “Take a Chance on Me” was on The Office when Andy sang it to Angela. For me, that’s much more fun to think about than John McCain using that song to pump himself up before campaign speeches. Ew.

AngryBlakGuy

[re=11172]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: …the cigarettes or the groups?

Rev. Peter Lemonjello

If you think this is gay, wait til you see the video “Hillary in the House” guy makes for Grumpus.

SecertAgentA

There has got to be a better way to spend $45 Million in Campaign Contributions…Seriously.

vicuna

Whoops, bittas chose music too soon. This is vomitous, but somehow touching.

Half past twelve (Isn’t that a little late for WALNUTS!?)And I’m watching the late show in my flat all alone (Sounds more like a Paultard, but, whatever…)How I hate to spend the evening on my own (Well, that’s what you get for supporting Bush’s own Gilligan! Or is he Thurston Howell, III?)Autumn winds (Yes, because he’s old.)Blowing outside my window as I look around the room (Blowing outside… hmmm, is that you Larry Craig?)And it makes me so depressed to see the gloom (We’re all depressed thinking about McCain as president, welcome to the club!)There’s not a soul out there (Because he sold it to George W. Boosh…)No one to hear my prayer (Again, because nobody is going to vote for McCain.)

Gimme gimme gimme McCain after midnight
Won’t somebody help me chase the shadows away
Gimme gimme gimme McCain after midnight
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day

mookworthjwilson

[re=11159]norbizness[/re]: So that proves it, not only is he fan, he also lives his life by their music.

vicuna

[re=11208]vicuna[/re]: On second thought… 2:38 in.

Botswana Meat Commission FC

[re=11223]Tits_LaRue[/re]:
fan-fucking-tastic.

superfecta

Is he also going to play ‘Does Your Mother Know?’ to demonstrate that his mother is 8000 years old but still alive?

WernerHerzogsBear

“Knowing Me, Knowing You” happens to be one of the best songs ever about divorce, and both couples in the band ended up splitting up, like everyone else in the seventies. It’s prolly not smart for McCain to remind people of divorce right now.

Mahousu

[re=11155]StrangelyBrown[/re]: I can state with confidence that no one will Rickroll you in the middle of an ABBA video. I mean, what would be the point?

TGY

ABBA? No, when John McCain was young, they were still playing music on rocks tuned to various pitches, striking them with fossilized lizard femurs. Hence ‘dinosaur rock’.

superfecta

Thinking further on this, isn’t McCain violating the spirit of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by declaring his love of ABBA?

masterdebater

“Dancing Queen”, may not be the image an ex-P.O.W. tough guy is looking for. Rudy could have pulled it off, but McCranky? Nah!

Well, here I am after all the good snarking spaces are taken, so I shall take up the task of reminding everyone that ABBA did not want McCain to take their Chance.

The Republican candidate, who had already been banned by John Mellencamp, the American rocker, from using his hits ‘Our Country’ and ‘Pink Houses’, found out that he has few fans in Scandinavia when he tried to adopt Abba’s “Take a chance on me” as his campaign song. After running into difficulties with the Swedish supergroup, McCain lamented to reporters on board his plane that it wasn’t as easy to play the song as he thought.

“It gets expensive in a big hurry and if you’re not careful you can alienate some Swedes,” he joked.“If word gets out to Stockholm that we’re using Abba music, then there’ll be aworsening in U.S.-Swedish relations.”