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Movie Theater Popcorn

Movie theater popcorn is the popcorn you eat while watching the shitty movie you paid 7 bucks to watch. The chances that there is popcorn at a movie theater is about the same as the chances a sequel to a good movie will suck.

Just The Facts

Popcorn is the favorite snack of fat peoples at movie theaters.

It's usually covered in delicious artificial butter-flavored grease.

You can get a free bag full of popcorn by picking the ones found on the ground when the movie ends.

Popcorn: more than a treat.

Popcorn at a cinema isn't just a mere snack; it's an obligation. You cannot fully enjoy a movie without a bowl of imploded corn, may it be a funny, an action and/or a pornographic film. You're almost a hungry, social outcast if you don't have any while staring at the actress' boobs (That's the reason you came. Don't lie.). If you ever go to a movie theater where there is no popcorn, burn it. If you go to a movie theater that has popcorn, but you have no money, then you get a choice: either go get some money (anyway will do) and miss your film, either steal some, or Hara-kiri.

Worship it. It became your new master.

The many, many (terrible) flavors.

Once in a while, you might get tired of the same popcorn covered in greasy ''butter''. Luckily for you, kernel factory employees got drunk and invented many other artificial flavorings.

You thought I was kidding on the ''drunk'' part, right?

The flavors include:

Jalapeno

Mac & Cheese

Dill Pickle

Pink cotton candy

Caramel Peacan

Rasberry

Cinnamon

And many more!

There's probably hundreds more flavors, and if you try them all, may God have mercy on your soul.

Well...some of them sounds good...

Popcorn found on floor.

That, and MUCH more.

Janitors have it tough when it comes to dropped corn. There's so much on the ground you probably won't even need to buy some; just pick 'em up. I personnaly think janitors put the dirty, dusty popcorn back into the fresh bunch as a revenge for the extra work.