19. I'm back now

Hey Guys

I'm sorry that I haven't been writing for a while, but I'm back now.

Ever since the doctor told me that I finally was cancer free, I've tried to do all the things I always have wanted to do. I've been partying, and got so wasted that I forgot everything.For the first time in my life, I actually know how it feels just to be a ordinary girl. I'm back ind school, and i'm so happy.

But every time I'm happy,something always happens.

I always think about the people who don't get to survive. Why don't they?

I got my miracle, but what about theirs?

I don't know if I believe in the hole god-has-something-in-plan- for-everyone thing. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and I will never understand why, but I also believe that we can chance our destiny. I like to think that there is a reason for everything, but it's hard sometimes.

I just wanna say, keep fighting, and never give up hope. Live everyday like it was your last, and don't feel sorry for yourself. It only makes it's worse. I hope you guys actually listens to my advice, because i'm trying to help you.