31 May 2016

I NEED TO USE THE PHONE!
NO ONE WILL LET ME USE THE PHONE
Did you try the Shell?
YES!
Did you try the motel up the street?
YES!
I NEED A CIGARETTE
NO ONE WILL LET ME USE THE PHONE!
What do you need the phone for?
I NEED TO CALL MY PHARMACIST BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
Your pharmacist?
YES!
I NEED TO USE THE PHONE!
NO ON WILL LET ME USE THE PHONE!
CAN I HAVE A CIGARETTE!
Sure. Here you go.
THANKS!
I NEED TO USE THE PHONE!
I NEED TO CALL MY PHARMACIST!
DO YOU HAVE A LIGHT!
Yes, here you go.
I NEEEEEED TO USSSEE THE PHOOOONNNNEEE!
Well I'm sorry I don't have one.
WHY WON'T ANYONE LET ME USE THE PHONE!
I NEED TO CALL MY DEALER!
CAN I USE YOUR PHONE!
DO YOU HAVE AN EXTRA CIGARETTE!
I NEED TO USE THE PHONE!

A conversation I had with a lady near my job at a Family Services office in Surrey, UK, 10 May 2016. Submitted by Wanda Kehewin.

23 May 2016

Julia Chesley says the world keeps on spinning, but as for me, i haven't moved in years.
I strongly dislike catering. It is something I’m doing for now. I don’t want it to become my life. That makes me feel guilty every now & again. I’ll never be the one to take over my parents’ business
Julia Chesley is moving to Cape Cod in nine days.
Julia Chesley is moving to Cape Cod on THURSDAY!!
I just need a change from New Hampshire, from catering, from all the loneliness. I will leave my problems here, and just go.
Julia Chesley moves to Cape Cod TOMORROW!
I’m not really nervous at all.
Julia Chesley regrets procrastinating. Also (only slightly) regretful of the number of books to be moved. Oh dear...
My books are my best friends, and I need them. I can’t leave them. It would be like leaving pieces of my life.
Julia Chesley has the van loaded & is ready to go!
Rebecca Tolman Bryant wrote: Good luck! I hope you find what you are looking for.
Julia Chesley is moving today!! Much ♥ to NH...Cape Cod here I come!
Good bye New Hampshire! I'll be back to visit :) I'm moving to Cape Cod today. I'm excited & only a little nervous. No job yet, but the plan is to do whatever it takes to pay the bills in the beginning (i.e. waitress/caterer...eugh)...
Off on an adventure!
Julia Chesley lives on Cape Cod.
There, and writing it makes it so… if you can call this sea of boxes really living. Who am I without my sisters? Bailey, do you know?
Julia Chesley "I don't know who you're talking to/I made a search through every room,/but all I found was dust that moved/in shadows of the afternoon."
The apartment is so empty, so still.
Julia Chesley needs to find a second job. & fast.
Julia Chesley is making dinner.
For herself. Alone. Bailey watches me.
Kelsea Forsberg writes: how is the cape?!?! I'm so jealous Julia! Have you found a job or anything like that?
Ashley Campell wrote: How is your new life? ha ha
Julia Chesley HATES spiders. Eughhhh -shudders- NOT cool.
They are all over this house. And I think I see them everywhere. There was even one in my bed. I am not telling anyone about that one.
My status is: blank at the moment, but it might be “exists quietly” because, well, I do. I exist quietly.
Julia Chesley exists quietly.
Currently I am: feeling a little homesick and awfully lonely. Which in turn makes me feel pathetic. I’m 23. I ought to be more excited to start a new life.
Right now, I am listening to: the clock ticking inside and the birds chirping outside.
One of the things I miss most about college is the conversation. Intellectual, conscious, thought-provoking conversation.
Julia Chesley has killed 5 spiders in the past 2 hours. 2 in the bathroom, 1 in the livingroom, and 2 in the kitchen (one of which was the biggest one yet). HATEHATEHATE spiders :( :(
I love: my family, my friends, and my cat.
I hate: that I regret so much about my life.
Never in my life have I been: so uncertain.
My current annoyance is: the extraordinary number of spiders in this apartment.
Julia Chesley “the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap/And it teases you for weeks in its absence/But you'll fight and you'll make it through/You'll fake it if you have to” Rilo Kiley
My favorite animal is: cuddly, furry, and purrs. That would be a cat.
Julia Chesley is constantly amazed by the smallness of the world. I work with a woman who was in at least one of my English classes at PSU. Nice to see a friendly face!
I want to make the world a more beautiful place. I don’t know how just yet, but I know that it is something I want to do.
Julia Chesley has the day off & got a call from Casual Gourmet! Yay for a potential second job!!!
The thing I want to buy is: always more books.
Most recent thing I've bought myself: was groceries.
Julia Chesley has a second part time seasonal job. If I don't find a full time year round job...well, I'm not sure what will happen.
I read voraciously. My appetite for literature is huge & I wish I had someone to talk to about the things I read.
I’d rather buy a new book than buy groceries. & since I quit smoking, I have so much extra money to buy books! Savings account? Who needs that! Not when there are empty bookshelves to be filled!
Julia Chesley misses her sisters. A lot.
I don’t like children. Let me elaborate &/or rephrase that statement. It’s not that I don’t like children, I just don’t understand them. Or rather, they make me nervous.
Julia Chesley wishes she wasn't unhappy, but the truth is that she is.
I am looking forward to: figuring my life out.
Needless to say, I never went out for drama, nor did I pursue any creative writing avenues. I regret that. One of many regrets in my short life!
Julia Chesley I feel like a failure & just want to go back to NH where I have a job I'm good at that pays the bills, rent, while still allowing me to eat & purchase a book every now and then. :(
If I was an animal I'd: want to be a cat.
Julia Chesley thinks Bailey is sad too.
Julia Chesley misses New Hampshire. & her family. Oh, & having a job that pays the bills.
Fall is the best season, hands down. Perfect weather. Not too warm, not too cold. Just like baby bear’s porridge.
Julia Chesley wants to go home.
I am not very good at making decisions. I’ve had that same dilemma since I was young. Sorry if it’s frustrating! I just can’t say “yes” or “no” with certainty. It’s some sort of “have to please everyone” complex or something :p
Julia Chesley at least I tried.
Also, as far as affection goes, (& this is an example of my should-be-undisputed awkwardness) I can not initiate a hug. I’m not very good at hugging. I just don’t know how to do it. I do the awkward head bob from side to side, trying to figure out where my head goes & then WTF do you do with your arms?? It’s a source of major concern & confusion, which is complicated by the fact that I LOVE hugs & I wish I could hug someone every single GD day.
Julia Chesley knows what she needs to do for herself & is going to do it, no matter what anyone else might think or say.