Tuesday, January 18, 2011

O.K. So, recently I hired me a trainer. It was in November 2010 to be exact. I decided that I needed to do something for myself. I had been doing so much for other people while continually doing nothing for myself. I felt like I could probably lose some weight, feel better and motivate myself. For pleasantly plump women, such as myself, we often give give give and expect nothing else in return. Well, I had been doing just that and in the process neglected myself. I had been helping everybody progress their lives while mine became stagnant. Well, I shouldn't say everybody--just a number of other individuals. I probably should say family mostly but, I don't really have to put that out there. Besides, is that really a point I'm trying to make? I mean, we all know that family will be the first to take advantage of you. But, for this particular blog post, the point is that I have done more for others than myself. It's really not significant who those others are. Right? Well, I digress. Anywho......I have constantly made food my focus when it comes to me. I eat eat eat. I do not necessarily be hungry, just bored or hurt or angry or any other emotion that I'm feeling at the time. I can't seem to shake it. Anyway....back to the other main point...the trainer. I hired this really cute guy to help me exercise and focus. The only thing is that I really don't have time to train. I go, he works the shit out of me, then I come home and sit---sore.Here it is January and I have not lost a pound. Not one, singular, solitary pound. I am so ashamed. What am I doing right? What a waste of money! And time! I have been so embarrassed that since January 1st---I do not want to go in. I constantly try to find ways to get out of my rut yet, unsuccessful every time.