When I saw this quote I leaned back and thought about how true it was with regard to business — business owners & leaders & founders … and their customers. Of course I then thought about people in general <because people are customers>.

But let me begin with business. And hope. And bending.

It is sometimes difficult to believe how many ways hope can come to life in business. I find it difficult because, in my mind, it would seem like hope is just … well … hope. And … well … hope is a good thing <one would think>.

But I have seen entrepreneurs blinded by Hope <losing sight of reason>.

I have seen Hope suffocate pragmatism.

I have seen Hope en-trance to such an extent that rational business people say, and do, irrational things.

And then on the other side I have seen some of the best and brightest big business people let cynicism and skepticism make them lose sight of hope.

I have seen some businesses get so mired in day to day detail … and some of the mind numbing thousand cuts that detail can ruthlessly wield to a business … that they cannot even see hope <even if it rises on their horizon like a sun on a cloudless morning>.

Life makes hope in business difficult <at times>.

Because in business Life doesn’t really bend you as much as it bludgeons you. And as you get bludgeoned you have one of two choices:

lean in to Hope and go <progress>, or

lean back against Hope and say ‘go ahead … but I will move no further back <support & reinvigorate>’

I have always said that we in management and those with an opportunity to lead are first and foremost NOT in the profit & revenue business … we are in the Hope business.

To be clear. This doesn’t mean Hope at the expense of everything else. It is more like a guiding light.

A beacon.

A lighthouse.

A star.

Which leads me to a business’s customers. What customers really want isn’t some functional rational widget.

Sure. They want shit that works, but, they kind of expect to receive shit that works. The truth is they really want to bend themselves <and their wallets> toward hope. That may sound esoteric and soe people will want to attach specific ’emotional benefits’ and they may be right. Or. It may just be as simple as Hope <be better, something better, do better>.

Now. As I type that, I will admit, I have seen some businesses that do such a fantastic job internally, culturally, with regard to building Hope into their own vision and their organization. Uhm. And then they treat their customers as ‘low price commodity shopper aficionados.’

How can that be? Why do they think that way? Hope will always be better, and more valuable, than any rational commodity-like widget benefit you are offering.

By the way this is not some hypothetical philosophical bullshit. People say they want lowest price but time and time again they show they are willing to pay more. We, in business, may suggest it is ‘brand’ or ‘emotional’ or even some irrational behavior that we cannot explain, but, in the end people are paying for Hope.

Hope for something a little better that will make them feel a little better.

Which ultimately leads me to people.

I actually think I don’t have to write or say much more.

You get it. Life tries to break us where it counts — in our hearts. And most times Life doesn’t really succeed. Despite its best efforts, at its worst, it typically just bends us.

And even at its worst what Life really does is to bend us toward hope.

Maybe it even pushes us to Hope. In fact. Maybe that’s the reason why Life does try and break us on occasion. To remind us of the power of hope.

Regardless. Life forces us to look at Hope … hold it … maybe hug it, but, at minimum … look at it in the eye and say “who are you?” Hope will almost always respond <as it bends close to you> … “I am something better.”

Just be sure your advertising is saying something with substance, something that will inform and serve the consumer, and be sure you’re saying it like it’s never been said before.”

=

David Ogilvy

———————

“If you try to comprehend air before breathing it, you will die.”

=

Mark Nepo

—————

“Seeking truth is a full time job. Communicating truth is a purpose in Life.

Embrace that truth and your Life will be significantly more complicated, but significantly more rewarding.”

=

Bruce McTague

——————–

Well. Communicating has always been a tough gig, but in today’s world it has taken on an increased challenge.

I scan headlines in magazines and online and I cannot see one topic being discussed, one industry or any one group of influential type people that isn’t under attack by ‘lack of trust’ or, in other words, ‘liars.’

What that means is anything you are communicating isn’t starting from a commodity standpoint <all facts and truths are created equal>, but rather you are already in a hole trying to climb out of ‘prove to me this is not a lie.’

Think about that if you work in marketing, advertising or any brand type position. Think about that REALLY hard.

Truth has never had a more difficult challenge than today. This may sound odd because common sense suggests truth is truth and, unvarnished, stands clear of any and all clutter as … well … truth. Unfortunately that is not … well … true.

Truth, more often than not, is a wallflower and not the one breakdancing in the middle of the room. The schlub doing the crazy dance alone, being watched by everyone, is more likely a lie or a semi/partial truth. You have to coax truth to the dance floor. Someone has to bring it out into the audience and permit it to be seen.

To be honest, Truth telling is hard work. It is not for the faint of heart. Seeking truth is a full time job <which most people, frankly, just do not have the time to do as they do their paid full time job>. And communicating truth has to be a purpose in one’s life in order to meet the onslaught of untruths, purposeful ignorance, unintended ignorance, semi-truths and cynicism.

To be clear.

I do not believe we are in some ‘post truth world.’ Nor do I believe what someone said “there are no facts anymore.”

Facts are facts and truth is truth. There may be some confusion around this but, of all industries, advertising and marketing communications people had sure as shit better be fucking clear on this or they are in deep shit.

While I believe business, in general, benefits if they start on day one embracing the thought they are in the decommoditization business <rather than in the ‘uniqueness business’> I believe communications would benefit by embracing the thought they are in the ‘establishing truths’ business.

Look <part 1>.

Advertising, marketing and all of professional communications is in a challenging position. Challenging in that businesses spend money on marketing & advertising most typically to sell shit. Therefore its main goal is to, well, sell shit. This means that if I represent a product and its main buying audience is white, male & blue collar <or pick any demographically based segment> I am going to use imagery and words that will appeal to them <sometimes to the detriment to other audiences who are less likely to buy your shit>.

Now. Of course you want to do it with style and substance and some sense of responsibility <not be stupid>. So any advertising person with any chops <any good> will figure out a way of not doing the stupid shit to sell shit. Even then your audience is your audience and while we would like to suggest everything is made to be created with a larger purpose of ‘bettering the world’ to a business who only has maybe $1000 to market something <or some finite budget amount> that $1000 is spent on selling shit and not ‘bettering the world.’

Simplistically, you sell to the people who will buy or have bought.

Simplistically, you sell to those people who will buy in the most effective way so that they will actually buy.

I say that because someone on the outside looking in can take apart imagery & words and make some very valid points with regard to the kinds of messages they send, but marketing people & advertising people are under a lot of pressure to sell shit. And, remember, they are in the service business. They ultimately do not do anything but ‘strategically create persuasive creations’ and a business makes the decision on whether what they create will actually be produced and put in front of people. Here is where the communications folk can get a little sideways. They focus on imagery & words & ‘attention’ with the intent to gain interest — not specifically sell shit. Sometimes they ignore truth as too complicated & too complex. Now. It is quite possible we communications folk may have gotten away with that in the past, but in today’s world, sure as shit, you better be grounded in hard, clear truth or you are gonna get screwed.

Look <part 2>.

In the good ole days truth was appreciated, but aspirational sold.

Well. That was before we all got a good dose of cynicism and started drinking from the fountain of untruths.

Messages are everywhere and simply suggesting you were offering truth because “you consumers are too clever to fall for manipulation” gave people permission to at least think you were offering truth.

No more my friends.

While aspirational drives value, lack of truth suffocates value into nothingness. This doesn’t mean there will not be a boatload of products and services who make a sale standing on the superficial surface of irrelevant, but appealing, value. But that will be the geography populated by the hacks.

This truth thing may not be a battle which some people want to fight. And that is okay. But someone has to or the entire industry will become irrelevant. If no one tells the truth, why would I listen to anyone?

I, personally, am not suggesting ditching aspirational but I am suggesting that truth, communicating the truth in a away that people actually believe it is true, is the key to future success.

Look <part 3>

I have worked in and out of the marketing and advertising business for <yikes> over 30 years so I feel like I have some qualifications to comment on the industry. Everyone on the outside of the advertising business looking in thinks those creating the advertising think about shit that, truthfully, advertising people actually never waste their time thinking about. And everyone inside the advertising business thinks about more shit than people outside the advertising could ever imagine they think about.

Suffice it to say I could gather up examples of advertising, using material over 20 years, and make pretty much any point I want to make – good, bad, absurd, true, untrue, semitruthful, smart, insightful or blatantly uninsightful.

Anyway. Here is a communications truth — perception is not reality. The perception is that advertising makes shit up, makes stupid vapid shit and says nothing <as much as possible> and if they do say something it is a lie and, ultimately, they try and make people feel something <to sell>.

Nothing could be further from the truth <that is, of course, with the non hacks>.

The problem in advertising typically arises when the ad creators struggle to articulate the benefit <or convince themselves that it is ‘non differentiating’ and then seek to ‘differentiate’ in some absurd form or fashion>. It then can unravel from there because the ‘go-to’ phrase at this point in time is ‘do something brave’ or ‘entertaining’ or ‘edgy’ <notice nowhere in there is “smart, insightful, thoughtful, truth”>.

Sure. Great advertising messaging always is, and will be, imbued with some sense of courage.

Why?

Because if you want to be distinct you will not please everyone.

Because if you want to tell the truth you will not please everyone.

The hack advertising people use the ‘do something brave’ phrase indiscriminately to justify bad advertising.

The good advertising people use this phrase to do something smart in order to not be different but stand ABOVE everyone else.

Yup. Huge difference.

Hacks say ‘stand apart.’

Non hacks say ‘stand above.’

This is where I imagine articles about advertising should focus their attention on. Why doesn’t the advertising stand above <and not be below what is good & right & untrue>.

Advertising should be smart and not talk down to people but actually enable them to rise up to the occasion and FEEL like they are rising up to engage with that brand or company.

Communications should be truthful, regardless whether it is simple or complex, and enable people to be able to FEEL truth in such a way that doubts about that brand or company are swept away.

And it all has to be done with an eye toward ‘decommoditizing’ or being distinct in some meaningful way <because truth, in and of itself, is not a differentiator>.

Advertising cannot be dull and uninspired, oh, and you cannot use a small budget as an excuse. In fact the truth is that a limited budget is typically what drives innovative advertising.

Yup. Inspired smart creativity tends to make each dollar be more effective <hence you can live with a smaller budget>.

In other words a smart, insightful, relevant, entertaining ad will be more memorable than a typical ‘category using sacred cow imagery’ ad therefore it needs to be seen less for the same effect.

Oh. And if you add in ‘truth’ <in a way in which you aren’t just communicating it but people actually BELIEVE it>, your communications is more memorable, more believable, can be seen less for the same effect … and is, of course, of higher value.

By the way, smart means not any obvious photoshopping or any exaggerated ridiculous claims or just plain inaccurate information or anything fluffed up or untrue.

By the way, smart means avoiding stereotypes, typecasting and idiotic generalizations and lies.

Note to advertising people:

We can see through those slimy tactics. Realize consumers are people … people who are smart and informed.

Make me aware of a product.

Educate me.

Relate to me.

Tell me the Truth.

Regardless.

===

“A dull truth will not be looked at. An exciting lie will. That is what good, sincere people must understand. They must make their truth exciting and new, or their good works will be born dead.”

Bill Bernbach

——-

Truth is truth.

Lies are lies.

Responsibility is responsibility.

If you do not accept your responsibility to tell the truth as excitingly and convincingly as you possibly can, lies will win.

If you choose to vulgarize the society or brutalize it or even ignore it <all under the guise of ‘understanding what the consumer wants’>, society will lose.

I honestly do not despair when I look at business in today’s world or even marketing & advertising behavior.

I get aggravated.

No.

I get angry.

I get angry that we are not accepting the responsibility.

I get angry that we are not strong enough to accept the burden.

I get angry that many do not even presume the responsibility is within their purview.

Business, whether you like it or not, shapes society. Business, whether you like it or not, shapes truth.

What professional communicators do matters.

Selling stuff only matters as a means to an end. What really matters is the shaping of attitudes <which ultimately shapes behavior>. Far too often by simply focusing on ‘selling stuff’ the byproduct of our ignoring the larger responsibility is that we brutalizing society in some form or fashion – in this case and in this time and place … it would be truth we are brutalizing.

Am I suggesting that selling stuff or being profitable isn’t important? Of course not. All I am suggesting is that HOW you sell stuff and be profitable matters. And that you have a responsibility in HOW you do what you do.

Because HOW you do things impacts society. It shapes society. It can vulgarize or brutalize … or invigorate or instill good.

HOW you do things has a power way beyond simply you or what you do in that moment.

HOW you do things is a pebble dropping into a pond.

In the end.

I will not argue that all advertising is good.

I will not argue that all professional communications is good.

A lot of it is shit.

But I will argue that good communications & advertising people, not hacks, are smart and tend to create smart insightful educating communication pieces that avoid the trite and stereotyping imagery and focus on telling the truth, if not A real truth, rather than lie or some semi truth.

I would also argue that good communications & advertising people, not hacks, have the opportunity to save truth in today’s society.

Anyway. I think many of the world’s institutions are embattled but the one that concerns me the most is Truth. The institution of truth is under siege.

I can honestly say I don’t think most who are attacking truth are trying to facilitate its downfall most are simply unclear what is truth and what is not. I believe anyone in any position of influence should be proactively assuming the burdensome responsibility of telling and protecting truth <that will come at an expense> but, today, I think the professional communications industry should be at the forefront of the battle.

Why? They get paid to communicate. If they cannot figure out how to effectively communicate truth, who can?

They must must make their truth exciting and new, or their good works will be born dead. Uhm. And lies will win.

===============

About the author:

I am a 50something who believes my generation hollowed out Truth by simplistically suggesting truth was best told through simplicity.

Truth is neither simple nor hollow.

I have had one framed picture in my office since maybe 2000: Seek Truth.

Well. Today is the anniversary of Tupac’s death. I will let you read the poem before I say some things:

=============

“I exist in the depths of solitude

pondering my true goal.

Trying 2 find peace of mind

and still preserve my soul.

CONSTANTLY yearning 2 be accepted

and from all receive respect.

Never compromising but sometimes risky

and that is my only regret.

A young heart with an old soul

how can there be peace.

How can I be in the depths of solitude

when there R 2 inside of me.

This Duo within me causes

the perfect opportunity

2 learn and live twice as fast

as those who accept simplicity.”

–

poem by Tupac Shakur

======================

Ok. Every once in awhile you read something written by a famous, controversial, individual and you get reminded that most of us are alike in how we think about some of the really important shit – Life and how we attempt to navigate it.

Tupac’s poem was one of those things for me.

First of all, stylistically, not a single line or word is wasted. Each line, each word, is thoughtful and thought provoking.

Second it’s Tupac. Why does that matter? Tupac wasn’t just controversial — he was a lightning rod for issues. Some controversy created by his own fault and some created by a less-than-understanding, and unforgiving, public. Sometimes that controversy made many of us <me included> tune him out on occasion. I imagine I was not in a minority as a group of people who just began thinking there was nothing truly meaningful to hear from this individual. 2 quick thoughts about that:

I was wrong.

What a shame (I missed out on a lot).

Regardless. I am catching up on lost Tupac time. Let me say the man could put words together in ways many people can only dream of. He was a contradiction <as many of us are> and he had the ability to capture that contradiction in what he said and sang and did.

All that said, let me get back to the poem.

In the depths of solitude. Within each of our own ‘depths of solitude’ I imagine we all wrestle with some of the same things Tupac did in addition to some of our own stuff. I imagine if we invested the energy to think about it enough we would see that we wrestle so much because of , well, the natural contradictions which reside in almost everyone of us.

Peace of mind and preserve my soul.

Never compromise but sometimes risky.

Young heart and old soul <how can there be peace?>

And what an amazing thought he finishes with … for all of us to ponder.

“Learn faster than those who accept simplicity.

Awesome. So rather than have the contradictions split him or slow him down Tupac accepts the contradictions as permission to see the hope, in his own soul searching <depths of solitude>, to think he can live life, and learn, twice as fast. All the while still recognizing that life is not really that simple … yet some accept the simplest path possible.

In my eyes accepting simplicity does not equate to really living life to its fullest … but that’s me. And I certainly don’t have the level of joie de vivre that Tupac had. A joie de vivre which was actually almost a rebellion against simplicity or at least over simplification.

I envision there is some place in between all of these contradictions which represents a relatively happy medium.

All my own words & thoughts aside. This is a thoughtful smart insightful poem from a man who should have lived longer to share what he had to share.

I will say because he didn’t live longer we should pay attention to what he did share while he was alive.

“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.

—

Dwight D. Eisenhower

============

Whew. In business, getting out of the way, if you are even mediocrely qualified or actually good at what you do … this may be one of the most difficult things to do.

What am I talking about?

Get out of the way of someone who knows what they are doing.

Now. This isn’t about ‘planting your own ideas in someone else’s head” <which you see a number of articles on if you try and google this topic, by the way, interestingly I couldn’t find one article out of the gazillions on my topic today>.

This is simply getting out of the way of someone who actually knows what the hell they are doing. This topic actually came up from a young person who actually asked‘why don’t stupid people get out of the way of the people who actually know what they are doing.” My immediate response was relatively flippant: “because most stupid people don’t recognize they are stupid … about something.”

Okay.No one panic.

I followed that quickly with “listen … most people truly aren’t stupid … they are just blind to what they may actually not be as good at versus someone else.”

But. So, often, out of the mouths of babes comes truth. We often sit in our office, or in a meeting with a group of people, and if someone could read the thought bubble over our heads they would stare <mouth agape probably> when they read “why the f%$& won’t these stupid people get out of the way so someone who knows what they are doing can get this done?”

C’mon. Admit it.

We have all done it.

We have all thought it.

But here is the other side of that coin. It is really really difficult to admit you are one of the ‘stupid people’ and should be getting out of the way.

<by the way … I am simply using stupid as a harsher place holder for ‘less qualified’ or ‘not as good as’>

First. Reminder.

Most people are not stupid <even in business> and the odds are you aren’t stupid … it is simply a way of expressing your frustration and it isn’t literal.

Second. Well.

It is difficult to get out of the way for a number of reasons but let’s pick two:

<1> Yourself and … <2> someone else.

Huh?

– Yourself.

This is ego. As well as society <a little> I imagine. But let’s discuss ego first. Getting out of the way implies you are not good enough or qualified enough … and you will not only feel like shit … you will look bad to everyone else.

You kind of have to discipline yourself a little to be able to get out of the way. This type of discipline is not easy.

Society does not support it and the drive to intervene in the process is rooted in how we were brought up, what we have seen around us and reinforced in our culture … as in … accepted behavior of those who are successful.

It is a difficult challenge to overcome the slightly narcissistic impulse to show off ‘your game’ and instead step out of the way and accept you can simply be there … without everything depending on you.

It is difficult for someone to not only know there are better circumstances you can be in but also that there’s a better way to do something.

It is difficult to think that if you actually step out of the way you may learn something and become better <mostly because you feel if you pass on this opportunity you will never get the opportunity again>.

It is difficult to decide in the moment, from a self interest perspective of actually wanting to better yourself <and do what’s right> that, technically, you are actually getting out of your own way.

None of this is easy because these types of decisions boil down to how you see yourself and how much value yourself. Maybe I could say instead … how comfortable you are with yourself.

If you think about it, if you can shed all the angst and society and all the ‘here is how you are supposed to act’ type bullshit, your actions reflect what you want for yourself and what you feel you deserve. In the end … as with almost everything it seems … getting out of the way and yourself is mostly about character. Oddly enough … it is difficult to be honest with yourself.

Next.

– Someone else.

Ok.

This is a version of yourself … this is assessing the ‘someone else’ who wants you to get out of the way. Beyond the fact you may be admitting that someone may be better than you at something else … you are actually evaluating that someone else.

Uh oh. Typically, we suck at that. We suck at that because we typically judge our co-workers on the wrong criteria – the past.

Sure. If they have delivered on what they promised in the past, it does count for something. And their resume of past behavior and performance can count <albeit resumes are dubious things at best>.

But how much should it REALLY count? Because, uh oh <a BIG business truth here> most expertise is situational.

As in discrete. As in mutually exclusive.

Uh oh. What that means is you cannot judge based on anything historical but rather you have to judge within the moment and the situation.

Wow. That sucks. And we suck at doing that.

Ok. Beyond dealing with yourself and someone else.

When we do get out of the way we feel compelled to praise <this is actually a self ego thing>. Frankly, praising someone in the work place is … well … sometimes painful <particularly with a peer>. And if it isn’t painful it is certainly uncomfortable. Most of us are not skilled enough to be diplomatic and sincere without being condescending or, I cannot find the right words, suffice it to say most of us just plain suck at praising effectively in the work place.

And honestly … there are some good reasons why we suck at it. The behavioral reason <not the immature reason> is that we worry <and know from research> that the praised-for-every-achievement employee ends up reflecting a happier, more successful and highly self-esteemed employee, but more likely, the employee will become a ‘pleasing mode’ model employee <one who is driven to success not by personal curiosity but rather by the desire to earn praise by simply living up to expectations>.

Whew. Looking back at what I just wrote … that sure sounds cynical. Or maybe it just sounds shallow in referring to how people think or act. Take solace in the fact that it really isn’t because it is mainly a subconscious thing. We all do it to some degree it is only the people who consciously suck up and seek praise by ‘being a sheep’ that aggravate us.

Now. Living up to expectations isn’t a bad thing in the scheme of things, but it also doesn’t represent the kind of dynamics you want in a growing & expanding employee <or in a business in general>. You prefer to inspire someone to WANT to do something not HAVE to do it <for some personal gain>.

Anyway.

Getting out of the way is more difficult than most people think. For some good reasons and some bad reasons. Regardless of the reason, suffice it to say, we suck at getting out of the way.

“The splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of it’s scent nor the daisy of its simple charm.

If every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness.”

―

Thérèse de Lisieux

================

Ok.

I cannot think of one person I know who doesn’t think their day is full, their life is seemingly constantly stretched or feels like they do not have enough time to either <1> do what they want to do, or <2> do what they need to do.

I cannot think of one person I know who doesn’t think, at least on occasion, about whether that “full” really equals ‘full’ or if it actually doesn’t feel a little less than full and maybe even a little empty.

This empty or full discussion is one I tend to believe we have over and over and over again in our own minds. And, yes, 99% of the time it is in our own heads. Why? Well. Because discussing it with someone else is fraught with peril.

Most of us have clearly faced up to the fact that no one will have any compassion for your full life nor your emptiness. This is slightly weird because we all talk about being empathetic <I mean who the hell wants to say they have no compassion or empathy?> and, yet, most everyone is fairly sure their own ‘full/empty’ version is ‘fuller & emptier’ than anyone who would be bitching about theirs. That said, this empty/full discussion is all ours — alone.

Why? The harsh truth is that, in general, compassion and empathy on this topic is fairy difficult in practice.

Especially when it comes into conflict with people’s feelings about hard work, work in general <because ‘hard work’ is in the eyes of the beholder>, doing <what constitutes real ‘doing’ varies by person>, earning things and what someone does or doesn’t deserve. That is a long list of shit to have people in potential conflict over.

This actually means, whether we like it or not, this discussion is actually one about character & self.

Ok.

Maybe this is more a discussion of “the individual” and deciding who and what you want to be as a person <beyond simply ‘doing’>.

Ok.

Maybe it is more a discussion of “if every flower wanted to be a rose spring would lose its loveliness.”

Ok.

This discussion is difficult <I imagine if it was not then we would never feel full and yet empty at the same time>. Measuring the individual against “the whole” is almost like breathing. We do it without even thinking. This doesn’t mean we ignore all the ‘individual’ stuff like personal skills of perseverance, curiosity, optimism and self-control, but more likely than not somewhere along the way we make a not-entirely-conscious decision to prioritize areas of life, both in personal and business, in relation to other people. This decision, many times, is less about us but rather driven by:

<a> the daily shit which fills up our days and

<b> what society norms suggests ‘full’ looks like.

As we do this we recognize <albeit painfully> that there is no ‘secret to success and work/life balance. The truth is that everyone just prioritizes how they see fit. Unfortunately, that is when we almost inevitably circle back to society <what a rose looks like> rather than simply just assess and do on our own.

Look.

Full but empty is a personal battle. I will not call this living in the inevitable rat race because I tend to lean toward the thought that everyone has an individual power to make a decision for the individual <and selectively ignoring societal norms and ‘cues’ just is not that difficult>. And, yet, I recognize that we are constantly ‘trained’ to push for the sake of pushing <under the guise of attaining higher and higher outcomes>. The problem with this ‘training’ is that it encourages us to “fill our lives” with what constitutes a fairly narrow view of success <which also quickly ‘fills’ your Life>.

I personally don’t think most people need to be trained to push themselves. I think most of us are hard-wired this way. In fact … I could argue that pushing yourself is not the problem. I could argue the ‘empty’ is mostly driven by a sense of failure which starts lightly coating <and ultimately suffocating> everything you do … regardless of how objectively successful you are.

=

“Somebody once said we never know what is enough until we know what’s more than enough.”

Billie Holiday

=

Society demands a lot of things of us. It sets up some fairly absurd rules and a shitload of damn stupid measurements. Society is society and I am not smart enough to be able to offer to everyone how to not be full but empty. But I can suggest a couple of things that could help.

Be consistent.

My gut tells me that at the core of being full but empty is that we chase shit. And by ‘chase shit’ I mean that with the intent to ‘fill up’ we start ‘checking off.’ That’s not really purpose driven nor living a life with a purpose … because it is simply chasing a moving list of things. Maybe I could just suggest avoiding being ‘two/three/four/five faced’ as you attack filling up your Life and just focus on one good face. And maybe try and keep that face facing forward as often as you can.

Freedom not control.

This is hard. Really hard. We want to control everything in our lives … including people and their actions. But in trying to control we actually tend to limit the freedom we should give Life to expand to its best … for us and those around us. Healthy productive people don’t like to be constrained by someone else. Why shouldn’t this pertain to ourselves and how we try and fill, or empty, our lives? <answer: it should pertain … and it is not different>.

So. Just to finish up for today. For some reason our ‘hallowed ground’ of happiness more often than not ends up in a dead end pursuit. And then we are stopped … and look at ‘full but empty’ footsteps behind us. Unfortunately, whether we like it or not, life takes some real thinking with an open mind to not end up at some dead end.

But maybe more importantly it takes the right attitude … if every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness

What I mean by that is because society and culture has encouraged us to think of ‘full’ as doing and tasks and outcomes that means we all are, in some form or fashion, seeking to be a rose. And truth be told we are a field of violets, sunflowers, lilies, astirs, and more – as well as roses – and that is what makes Life look lovely.

And that, to me, is the key to this whole solving ‘full but empty’ thing. Ignore the roses, find out what flower you are and bloom.

“How wild is it that every version of you probably exists still, somewhere, in someone’s memory?

The messy you, crying on the floor exists still in your mind. The happy, sun-soaked you, exists in your best friend’s memory. No part of you has died, all parts of us exist always, simultaneously and hidden.”

In that post I said … Maybe I could just suggest avoiding being ‘two/three/four/five faced’ as you attack filling up your Life and just focus on one good face. And maybe try and keep that face facing forward as often as you can.

Well. The truth is that your one face will come to life in different versions in other’s eyes. You can do everything consistently. You can do your best. Shit. You can actually be your best day in and day out. Yet, every version of who and what you are will exist, in all its different forms, somewhere in someone’s memory.

Someone will pick up a picture of you and remember you in a way that you may like; you may dislike, but is actually some version of you.

Well. How the hell does this happen if you are consistent?

Couple of things to think about.

Most importantly — interesting people are multi faceted. So even if you have ‘one face’ and one direction and one purposeful driven life and one clear soul … it can come to Life in different ways based on the context in which it is asked to interact with Life. Life pulls out the best and worst of you. And rarely does it do so in solitude … you can pretty much expect a shitload of other people around to see what you do and how you respond.

For some of those people that will be their only memory of you.

For some of those people that will be their most impactful memory of you.

Does that mean it is you? Yes and no. Yes in that it reflects a fragment of who and what you are. No in that it most likely is not a particularly good judge of your overall you. People should never be judged at their worst, or their best, and yet we’ll do just that day in and day out. Suffice it to say there are a shitload of versions of you wandering around out there in people’s memories.

Next.

We change. Yeah. we stay the same at our core but as we interact with people, thoughts and things we morph … hopefully for the better … but change it is. That I was yesterday, this I am today, and there I will be tomorrow. You are really the only one who experiences that time transition … everyone else is simply checking in and out.

What does that mean?

Part of the challenge about the whole ‘full but empty’ thing for us is that it isn’t always just about us. You can feel happy about the way you are but people can see a variety of things which do not even closely resemble how you are feeling. And most of us are self-aware enough, and observantly aware enough, to recognize any disconnects in real time. So while being full and not empty is really about maximizing your potential in an overall sense … you also are stuck doing some real time ‘maximizing potential obstacle management.’

When you do this, well, it slows you down from full stuff and only encourages more empty stuff.

In the end.

We all know you have to actively participate in Life because if you do not, well, Life will inevitably pick you to be on the worst dodgeball team, put you in the worst seat in a stadium and in the worst weather when you do not have the right clothes.

Stay true to thineself.

It doesn’t guarantee you shit in Life other than the version of you that you carry with you will look good to you. Not everyone else will like it, and some will love it, but you may as well have one you like.

In other words. You may as well be an architect of your own fate and manage your own version because everyone else will carry around a ‘version of you’ you cannot really control.

“Shut the fuck up … don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment; it’s a competition none of us agreed to.”

—

(via aussie-with-glasses)

==============

Ok. This isn’t about society & women & standards <although I have written many times on that topic> this is about competitions we don’t agree to in Life, in a society that creates them and a sense of “self” in which we are constantly trying to find meaning in the competition of ‘doing’. Many of us can go through life doing the best we can trying to get along and, in general, view most things in life as a journey and not some race and … well … sometimes people, things and society have a different view.

What this means is you are demanded to compete in some competition you really never agreed to.

Let me explain. There are absolutely a bunch of people out there who define themselves by competition. They seek to find validation & actualization through some comparison versus what others are doing <this, basically, is competition>. And then there are people like me <I do not know how many there are of us but I imagine it is a fairly significant %>. While I like winning and, on occasion, a good competition gets the heart rate up and ‘ups my game’ the majority of the time I don’t view Life when I wake up and go to work as a competition with anyone and anything but myself. I simply want to do good things <epic shit if possible> do the best I can and better than I did yesterday. I guess my competition is yesterday not other people. That said. I am not naïve. I know that everyday I wake up and go to work I am entering into ‘the Thunderdome’ and entering into some competition that I didn’t really agree to.

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“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.”

Steve Maraboli

============

I don’t like it. But I recognize it. As often as I can, I avoid the competitions I don’t agree to.

By the way … if you google “how to deal with competitions you do not agree to” you will get zilch, zero, no results on that topic.

None.

Ponder that for a second.

All that said.

This does mean that you receive compliments as well as criticisms based on competitions you didn’t agree to.

And that is aggravating. It is like you are being judged by the Race Walking Olympic judges, with scores you don’t really care about, because you were just out jogging that day. Day in and day out people who really do not want to compete, other than with their own standards, are faced with having to accommodate competition they didn’t agree to.

What a fucking pain in the ass. I would also point out it sounds incredibly inefficient and time wasting.

Look. I am not suggesting some competition isn’t bad. I am suggesting that we go fucking overboard with regard to ‘forcing competition’ into all threads of Life & society & culture. I do believe it is healthy for young people to understand that in competition some people win and some people lose and that some people get trophies and not everyone gets one <although getting a trophy is not all there is to success & Life>.

I do believe it is healthy in youth to understand that some people are smarter than others, that some have skills you don’t have and that some people more easily learn some things than you do.

I do believe it is healthy for young people to learn how to compete and that competition can be healthy.

But at some point I think it would be good for society & culture to either turn that switch off or maybe learn how to turn on the dimmer switch because I think part of being an adult is knowing what you are good at and what you may not be good at and deciding for yourself <some would call that personal responsibility> how you want to achieve the best version of yourself.

I am not convinced that society, and business, creating some false versions of competition which almost encourages me to compete in some competition I really didn’t agree to, let alone really want to compete, is a good thing.

I tend to believe people like me think our competition is harsher and more challenging than any competition society can create for me and because of that I tend to want to dismiss outside competitions.

Yeah.

That choice is fraught with peril. Suffice it to say … just knowing that there is peril in not wanting to compete in some competition I didn’t even agree to is aggravating. But that is the world we currently live in. We are asked to compete against other flowers when all most of us want to do is bloom.

It ministers to some great need, it performs some great service, not for itself, but for others…or failing therein, it ceases to be profitable and ceases to exist.”

–

Calvin Coolidge

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“Let’s be honest. There’s not a business anywhere that is without problems. Business is complicated and imperfect. Every business everywhere is staffed with imperfect human beings and exists by providing a product or service to other imperfect human beings.”

–

Bob Parsons

=========================

On Bastille Day it seems appropriate to take a minute and discuss “fraternite” in business.

Today is the French National Day, the 14th of July, or … le 14 juillet. By the way none of my friends in France call it Bastille Day <that is a creation of the American mind>. They celebrate Fête de la Fédération <the National Celebration> or just Le quatorze juillet <the fourteenth of July>. Regardless. The national holiday revolves around the national bleu-blanc-rouge flag and the French values of Liberté, Fraternité and Egalité (“liberty, equality, fraternity/brotherhood” … the national motto of France).

Anyway. Business. Inevitably a great organization exhibits both efficient AND effective progress. What typically creates that combination is part discipline, part structure, part leadership, all glued together by “fraternité”. That ‘glue’ is most often discussed in the American business world as ‘a vision’ or maybe ‘a purpose’. We do so because we Americans hate any kind of lack of specificity. But the truth is that the most common bond of a great organization is a more nebulous concept … one of “fraternité”.

Or.

“Any man aspires to liberty, to equality, but he cannot achieve it without the assistance of other men, without fraternity.”

(Napoleon)

Oddly enough, while this sounds relatively common sense, I kind of feel like business itself needs a revolution to overturn the current thinking to accommodate what should be common sense.

What do I mean? Current business is kind of in a wacky spot. It talks a lot about vision and purpose as if they are “things” … like maybe a lighthouse anyone can see as they bob around the chaotic sea of business life to find a way home. By the way … I would argue that is a very individualistic thought — “I can find my way home” type thought – and not really a team thought <but that could quite easily be debated>.

Regardless. Fraternity is more like “everyone not only knowing what they need to do to keep the ship afloat but actually pitching in whether needed or not because they love the ship itself.” That may sound like some wacky nuance but I have to warn people that revolutions can kind of gain some momentum off of some fairly wacky things on occasion. By the way, this thought is a more nebulous “I feel this way” aspect of organizational culture and, as noted many times, if it cannot be measured or indexed or scored <note: most older leaders into today’s business just don’t like that kind of shit>.

Anyway. Not to beat this metaphor to death but I do believe we need a semi-revolution in the way business organizations are created and run and managed. I think we may need that revolution because “fraternité” as a core principle just ain’t the way business is run. And, yes, it should be viewed as a “core” principle because … uhm … when discipline falls apart, when structure falls apart, when leadership falls apart … what keeps you on the battlefield and fighting is … yeah … “fraternité.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of people talk about a “community” or “company team” or some other nice sounding platitude which sounds a lot like “fraternité” but its mostly lip service.

On a bigger organizational level I worry about how an idea like this is getting suffocated by generational issues <younger people desire something and older people think they know the best> and maybe an outcome-is-the-only-thing-that-matters versus a belief business should incorporate altruistic aspects. Both of those conflicts are HUGE issues. I have written about in 1200+ word thought pieces on both of these but, on the former, the best piece I can share is from Corporate Rebels “Cut The Crap: The Made-Up Nonsense About Generations At Work” which states all people want meaning at work (regardless of age or generational label).

I actually believe we need some revolutionary thinking on the latter. To me we have a bunch of people who look at business and turn away because … well … I fear that they only believe they can change the world through more altruistic pursuits and not traditional business. And, yes, they are important and good pursuits but, from a larger perspective, business drives the world. Business makes shit that makes lives easier and healthier and impacts the home and life in ways that it is difficult to imagine let alone outline in a few words <and the business office/working groups creates behavioral cues which ripple out into culture>.

Somehow … someway … we need to insert the ‘believers of principles’ into the business world with all of their ambition and hope and remind them – and empower them – that they can change the world.

That they can make the world a better place. They can make society and people and lives better. And they can do it in business … not just altruistic career opportunities. If we do that, and do that well, I tend to believe we will build more organizations driven at its core by a sense of “fraternité” rather than a bunch of documents setting out some guiding principles, vision and purpose which everyone says “okay … let’s do that.”

It is quite possible that I am talking about ‘the soul’ of an organization. What I do know is that … well … read the following quote:

====================

“I have found no greater satisfaction than achieving success through honest dealing and strict adherence to the view that, for you to gain, those you deal with should gain as well.”

Alan Greenspan

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I do believe we need to be drawing some lines in business. And I don’t mean company handbook type lines or even some well-crafted ‘lines’ in “how we conduct our business” or “who we are” but maybe they are more lines with regard to some unwritten principles.

I say that because when you can gather a group of people together who share a strong set of principles … well … they will walk straight into a hail of bullets to not only survive but to get good shit done.

==========

“Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace.

Oscar Wilde

===========

Now. Business absolutely makes dealing with your principles a constant struggle. It can kind of suffocate your principles in between the pragmatic aspects of getting shit done <discipline & structure> and the faux burden of some vision or grander purpose which “you know is important to us therefore it should be important to you.” Frankly, when suffocated by these bookends you don’t have a lot of elbow room for any type of true, intangible, unsolicited camaraderie.

The fraternité is more forced than natural. Obviously, when it is not natural it is not as strong.

In the end.

Fraternité in business. I believe we have forgotten this. And while I do believe many of us have forgotten how to draw lines with regard to our principles I tend to believe business, in general, has simply decided to just draw lines <in a box in fact> and say “there you go” … there are your principles and rules for comraderie.

That is kind of whack.

Look. I can honestly tell you that being a senior leader in a business and organization you like <you do not have to love> may be one of the greatest experiences anyone can ever have. What makes that experience truly great is when you are fortunate enough to foster something intangible, something that really cannot be measured, and something which doesn’t earn you some performance bonus at the end of the year … it is when you stumble upon the sense of fraternité.

I am sure some organizational guru will send me a link to “steps to build a fraternité organization” and … well … good for them. I tend to believe this is one of those soul aspects, intangible things, that is created less by some “how to” guide or some formula and more by simple good intentions combined with some good discipline, construct and leadership. To steal another word from the motto, by creating a fraternité organization you inevitably create Liberté for the organization to be te best version of what it can be.

This is what I thought about today, July 14th, as I thought about the national motto of France “liberty, equality, fraternity <brotherhood>”. With that I imagine I should end with where I began … no enterprise can exist for itself alone. That is the foundation for a fraternité organization.

“It’s one of those dumb days where nothing’s really wrong but nothing’s really right either and the sky can’t even choose to be white or gray.”

–

Andrea Portes

=====================================

“Nothing” days.

Its hard to believe with all that shit we always seem to have to do and all the shit that seems to be happening around us and all the shit society, people and culture claims we are demanded to pay attention to … there can be nothing days.

The dumb days in which nothing happens <albeit lots of somethings actually happen>.

I think this is one of those things I didn’t think about until I actually thought about it — how can a day be nothing when you actually did a shitload?

Sure.

There are some people who get busy doing nothing <I actually call this ‘the art of looking busy’ and have a piece on his coming up>.

But the majority of us do a shitload of something on the days which we tend to view as having done nothing.

And I am not sure that is particularly healthy.

You can surely assess what you have done and apply some value less than what you wished you could assess … but even that “lesser value” is not zero, therefore, it is not nothing.

Personally I think this happens because the majority of us have a natural resistance to nothing. What I mean by that is being associated with “nothing”, particularly in a country that extols doing, creates some sense of diminishing or diminished.

And no one likes to feel either diminished or having whatever we actually did do be diminished to … well … nothing.

Anyway.

What that means is we will apologize for ‘nothing’ with a variety of reasons – distracted, bored, tired, etc. – because in the end our internal integrity compass wants to point toward something to make us happy.

In fact … someone created something called the Nothing Day which has been commemorated since 1973. The day is literally about doing nothing at all. There is absolutely no purpose or intended structure for this pointless celebration.

My point isn’t that we should celebrate nothing or doing nothing or even the feeling we actually did nothing but rather that we see “nothing” where there really is something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is even making my head hurt.

Let me try this.

Far too often we fall into an all or nothing assessment with regard to our day. What that means is we could actually do a shitload but if it doesn’t meet some “something” standard it then falls to a 100% nothing value.

That is nuts.

==============

“Either I reigned supreme or sank into the abyss.”

–

Simone de Beauvoir

==============

And I can honestly say its nuts because I do it. I can reach the end of a day with a long list of shit I have done and sit back and say “shit, I did nothing.”

And I don’t think I am that different than a lot of people.

I could speculate why we do it but I will not.

Mostly it is because we think, think & think about the shit … and overthink it … and it is a death trap.

Mostly I think society & culture seems to put an extraordinary amount of value on tangible recognizable outcomes therefore if you just do shit … but the shit doesn’t offer some trophy outcome you can hold up for everyone to see than … well … we think we have nothing to show for it. That is also a death trap.

That’s dumb.

Not only is that dumb it is the foundation for one of those dumb days where nothing’s really wrong but nothing’s really right either and the sky can’t even choose to be white or gray type feeling … which is a pretty dumb feeling to have.

All I can say is that the next time you think it is one of those dumb days where you did nothing … maybe stop overthinking and make it a simple thought — I did some shit today. I will do more shit tomorrow. And eventually some good shit will happen.

This is a longish rambling post on about living Life <written mostly because I had a shitload of awesome quotes to use>.

And … well … not backing away from Life.

Okay.

Maybe it is about living Life in a weird way … being undead <kind of a gray area in living Life>.

And, no, this is not about regrets … or having regrets.

This is more about how we sometimes subconsciously back away from life.

====

“If you’re not busy being born, you’re busy dying.”

—

Bob Dylan

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And, consequently, it is also all about the importance of seeking to continuously reinvent ourselves while … well … mostly we are actually just going through the motions <it’s a version of living Life by being dead>.

It is, unfortunately, human nature that we are constantly distracted by what we have accomplished, completed, succeeded at … or failed at.

It is a major distraction for one of two reasons:

You purposefully seek to replicate what you have done in the past

You purposefully seek to break away, and break new ground, from what you have done in the past

Basically this suggests you are not really living Life … just constantly looking in the rear view mirror trying to make sure you replicate the good and avoid the bad.

Well.

I will point out … that would be the past good and the past bad.

It’s kind of like defining your usefulness and worthiness not by actually living your Life to its fullest but rather by measuring it in increments versus the past.

Well.

While some people may call it ‘incremental living‘, to me, that is ‘being dead’ … you are basically backing away from Life.

Eckhart Tolle <who in general I think is a philosophical nutcake> said … the secret of life is to “die before you die” – and find there is no death.

<that always made my head hurt if I thought about it too much>

I am not really sure what the hell he is talking about but what I do know is that while we may not consciously back away from Life and living … we certainly settle for a shitload of incremental maneuvering under the guise of “this is what it is going to take so that one day I will make it.”

Whew.

Talk about sucking the life out of life.

That’s not living … that’s just being dead before you have actually died <in my eyes>.

If you develop such a mindset, no matter what you achieve or get … the present will never be good enough and the future will always appear better.

This is a perfect recipe for permanent dissatisfaction.

It is kind of like a ‘waiting state of mind’ although I could argue that is “people like being dead.”

Basically it means that you want the future but you don’t want the present.

You don’t want what you’ve got and you want what you haven’t got.

I mentioning a ‘waiting state of mind’ because with every kind of waiting you unconsciously create inner conflict between here and now, where you don’t want to be, and the projected future – where you want to be. This greatly reduces the quality of your life by losing or sacrificing the present.

All that philosophical mumbo jumbo aside and let me just say … well … “for some the most difficult thing in life is knowing what they are surviving for.”

It is true some people just don’t live life.

They are just surviving <albeit … it is actually ‘being dead’>.

The problem is they even forget why they are surviving. Most people inevitably fall into a rut and in that rut they confuse living Life & survival with purpose … mostly because they are constantly looking backwards trying to move forward incrementally better than what they had done before.

Survival, to me, at its most valuable self-core is about purpose.

Regardless.

For once I will go with the crazy pop culture bullshit and say “why we don’t have more discussion on purpose driven life?”

We sure as hell do it with business <which I think is crazy>.

To be clear … purpose doesn’t have to be religious.

I think we don’t because it is tough. I am fairly sure it is not even anything tangible and it it sure as hell will not be found in any book or “chicken soup for the soul” type thinking.

Unfortunately it’s not really about “things” … like being ecofriendly or fighting poverty. Or even making sure your kids have it better than you do. Or doing anything actually <those are simply reflections or outcomes of attitude>.

That means if what I am writing is true then there is no measurement or none of the easy status comparisons <who has more stuff or more success>.

This mean the only measurement is good versus bad, the dark side and the lighter side of moments, and the inevitable task Life then demands of us — to find meanings in the moments.

I imagine I could point out here that each moment has value … if you look hard enough. But that is hard to find so people end up creating meaningful Life moments in a variety of ways — some good & some bad, some healthy & some unhealthy.

But if you are busy being dead <or, conversely, just not being undead> that kind of means you don’t really know how to enjoy life, or the moments within it, so you either end up by finding meaning in <a> incremental improvements versus the past – replicating good, avoiding the bad, or <b> creating closure moments – fake closure.

I could point out here that ‘death’, or being dead, is one way we seek to find meaning. “Live life like you are dying” or “want to do something before I die” or anything like that.

I imagine we will use any tool in the Life toolbox to try and create some comparisons to judge how well we are doing or not doing <that is called “assessing the value in our Life”>.

Just think about that a little … an how much that sucks.

Suffice it to say that people find value in Life in a variety of creative ways … mostly because they can’t seem to find value in purpose. Purpose is simple yet complex in the innate knowledge of people’s fear, hopes and desires in life combined with desire to ‘do something’ … whew … try measuring or judging that on a weekly basis.

=========

Had I not known

that I was dead

already

I would have mourned

my loss of life.

—-

Ota Dokan <his last words>

==========

“As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death. “

–

Leonardo da Vinci

=========

Anyway.

I do believe people would be a shitload happier if they could stop thinking of our way of life, capitalism driven culture, as a … well … way of life … but rather maybe think about Life as a way of living in which capitalism is just one part.

I do believe people would benefit if we understand that we humans are egoistic … we like things & we like to feel good about ourselves & we actually like to do some good in the bigger picture.

I do believe people would be happier if they understood that we always will struggle to get the best for our selves <emotionally and tangibly>.

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“Many people die with their music still in them. Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live … before they know it … time runs out.”

–

Oliver Wendell Holmes

======================

I do believe people would be happier to look forward a little more often and worry a little bit less about ‘replicating good shit I have done in the past and avoiding the bad shit I did in the past’ <mostly because most of us don’t need a guidebook for what to do in the present if we just try and do our best – which is most likely representative of all our experiences up to that point>.

Anyway.

Being dead and being undead. I truly don’t think most people live dead lives … it’s just that they back away from Life a little too much.

That said.

Here is what I know about Life and death.

Life does not stop at death.

Of course it doesn’t.

Someone is not dead until they are forgotten. So maybe we should all worry a little less about replicating & avoiding and just try and do shit that matters when it matters.

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“No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away…”