This blog is more than just a journal of my crazy, meaningless and confused existence in San Francisco, as a writer, a comedian and just a lover of all things even remotely pleasurable. No, it is much, much more than that, my little friends. In this blog, I will tell you most of my thoughts, some of my concerns, and several of my issues and dreams -- and anyone who is even slightly interested will hopefully be intrigued enough to read this -- this -- thing I call LIFE ON THE EDGE.

Friday, September 28, 2007

The SF Weekly is featuring a cover story this week entitled, “Steroids Confidential – Greg Anderson Has Given Up His Freedom Rather Than Testify About Barry Bonds. But One Man Has Learned The Trainer’s Secrets,” a piece written by Nic Foit and Ira Tes. When I first read this article, I was absolutely astonished at what it uncovered. And what I learned after reading it shocked me even more.

In the article, they reveal that Barry Bonds injected steroids into his penis in order to satisfy his mistress Kimberly Bell, which later led to Bonds not being able to bend over and caused an error that led to the California Angels beating the Angels in the 2002 World Series. The article also goes on to tell about a titanium brace that had to be implanted into Bonds’ neck in order to keep his huge bobble-like steroid’ed head from flopping over. The article then goes into detail about the supposed fact that now that the MLB is testing for steroids, Bonds consumes a “power drink” that consists mainly of elk semen.

The fact is -- this entire article is a ruse. If you unscramble the authors’ names, you come up with “Fiction and Satire.” What I can’t believe is that there is not one single disclaimer within the entire piece. In one sense – it’s absolutely brilliant. From another point of view, it’s completely irresponsible. If Bonds does not sue the SF Weekly, I will be very surprised.

To read this very creatively written article, check out this link: http://www.sfweekly.com/2007-09-26/news/barry-bonds-drinks-elk-semen-lactates-shoots-hgh-in-scrotum-former-trainer-tells-all/

Yesterday San Francisco hosted an incredible one-of-a-kind event – an Art Car Parade and Festival. Starting at Marina Park and winding along the Bay through Fisherman’s Wharf and to the Embarcadero, the parade featured over 30 decorated vehicles. What a spectacle! My favorite was the Sashimi Tabernacle Choir car, an automobile from Texas covered with models of lobsters and fish – 250 of them! They are bolted to a Volvo and when cued, sing a series of songs, everything from opera to pop to punk rock. The car has 2 computers, over 200 pounds of batteries and five miles of control system wire. Wow!Here is what Wikipedia says about the Art car phenomenon:An art car is a vehicle that has its appearance modified as an act of personal artistic expression. Art car artists usually drive and own their own work. They are sometimes referred to as "Cartists". Art car artists or owners often dress in a matching motif when displaying their cars. Art cars and car artists come from all walks of life, uphold a wide range of personal philosophies and beliefs and come from all political groups.An important aspect of art cars and car artists is the general belief that there are no standards. Ideally, there are no super stars nor is any car better than any other. Art cars are unique in that no art car is a "bad" or "wrong" art car. There is more of a sense of inclusion than in other car groups which focus on standards, specific historic periods or makes and models of car.Most car artists are ordinary people with no artistic training. They are largely self-taught and self funded, though some mainstream trained artists have also worked in the art car medium. Some consider their art to be created as a source of income or as "professional" artworks. Most others agree that creating and driving an art car daily is its own reward. Well known artists like Roy Lichtenstein, Andy Warhol etc. have designed BMW Art Cars and their work has been reflected in racing cars like the BMW V12 LMR.Art cars can be driven as daily drivers. Others are hauled around the country on trailers and have never driven any where but within art car shows. Others are found everywhere from the local grocery store, to formal museums to organized shows. Some are predominantly functional whereas others are considered primarily art works. Some car artists would never rent their car out while others build cars to make money.