Really Fucking Sucks

The more I think about it, the more I find that ucita really
fucking sucks.

In fact, ucita is quite possibly one of the worst damn things
on the planet. If ucita disappeared today, I would not shed
a tear. A personal note to ucita: If you are reading, I hope you die a slow, lingering painful death. You make me physically ill.

Keep a close eye on the reallyfuckingsucks.com domain, because there are a multitude of things
that really fucking suck.

Ucita's Horoscope:
$Horoscope = array (
array("Aquarius",
"Jan 21-Feb 19",
"You will discover that your mother is not your mother, but your adoptive mother. This will make you sad...but no one will give a rats ass. Kill yourself."),
array("Pisces",
"Feb 20-Mar 20",
"You are very silly and naked."),
array("Aries",
"Mar 21-Apr 20",
"It is your sister's birthday on the 29th of March, but you hate her guts because she gets all the guys. Since you are male, you know that you are a degenerate. Kill yourself."),
array("Taurus",
"Apr 21-May 20",
"You are a fucking pathetic whore. Your mother is a whore and so is your aunt Sally. Why don't you come over to my place so I can make it all better....bitch."),
array("Gemini",
"May 21-June21",
"The chicks will be all over you. Be sure to tell them that you enjoy filthy itchy rectum sex. They will like this. Also tell them that all women should shut up and stay in the kitchen."),
array("Cancer",
"June22-July22",
"Your subscription to Cosmo will expire. You will panic because you will miss the issue titled 'How to be a Modern, Self Sufficient Woman, and Yet Dress Like a Whore'."),
array("Leo",
"July 23-Aug 22",
"Fireworks are in the air. Well, not really, but you will get shot at a 7-11 while buying the latest issue of Hustler. Your family will remember you as a filthy pig."),
array("Virgo",
"Aug 23-Sept 22",
"Animal magnetism will draw you to your next significant other. Unfortunately, it is a goat. You make me sick."),
array("Libra",
"Sep 23-Oct 22",
"You will always be stupid and worthless."),
array("Scorpio",
"Oct 23-Nov 22",
"Your membership to NAMBLA will be revoked because they find out you once dated a 16 year old. Stay away from those older boys if you want to get back in."),
array("Sagittarius",
"Nov 23-Dec 21",
"You will locate that bitch who made fun of you in the fifth grade. Unfortunately, she now finds you even more stupid, pathetic and weak than she did back then. Loser."),
array("Capricorn",
"Dec 22-Jan 20",
"You will be turned down for that job at Target for being \"over qualified\". Well...that's what you tell the family. Actually, you are an inbred dumbass with only 50% of your DNA intact.")
);
$line=$Horoscope[rand(0, 11)];
?>
echo $line[0] ?> - ( echo $line[1] ?>)
echo $line[2] ?>

Is there something you think really fucking sucks? Odds are I do too. Be
sure to check back here for things you hate and you think should be
utterly destroyed.

(c) copyright 2000-2002 Copyrights.reallyfuckingsuck.com, Inc. All rights reserved. Patent Pending. As seen on TV. Some assembly required. Substantial penalties for early withdrawal. May contain small parts. By reading this, according to UCITA, you agree to abide by just about any conditions we feel like. Life contains substantial risk of litigation; please consult a lawyer before breathing. Ucita isn't trademarked by me. It may be your trademark. It may belong to somebody you know. I don't care.. sue somebody else if I'm using it improperly.