‘Invest in an Ice Pick': Foo Fighters Have the Best Concert Rider Ever

They say that Dave Grohl is the nicest guy in rock — but who knew he was also the funniest?

The band are currently touring new album Wasting Light (which NewsFeed wholeheartedly recommends, and not just because the seminal Bob Mould makes an appearance). Any tour, of course, must contain the de rigueur rider, which is a list of demands that each venue must provide to keep the talent sweet. NewsFeed has been in many a dressing room (“We’re with the band!” tends to have more success than you might imagine) and usually witnesses alcohol, candy and even fresh fruit (you know who you are).

But if there’s one item that’s been lacking, it’s almost certainly a guide to providing the perfect rider. Well, worry no more because the Foos have got you covered. A 52-page “Tour 2011″ document has seen the light of day, thanks to The Smoking Gun, and it is a thing of beauty.

Pop culture references, jokes and insults abound. The “Field Guide To Food Coloring Book And Activity Pages” contains a drawing of Grohl shredding with a fork and knife in his hand (See? Musicians do know how to use cutlery! Kind of.) Bassist Nate Mendel discusses breakfast — it is the most important meal of the day after all — while drummer Taylor Hawkins weighs in on what makes a good or bad salad. And before you wonder what the heck has happened to your favorite band, guitarist Pat Smear is seen giving the thumbs down to sweaty meats. Presumably because they weren’t sweaty enough.

Naturally, there are some rules. In no particular order, we learn that “chicks dig scars,” “no one likes a straight A student,” and “originality, creativity and pure sarcasm are what we’re looking for.” There’s even a primer on ice cubes (“invest in an ice pick”). Foo Fighters, we salute you. Frankly, if you now decide to get into the publishing game for good, we’re not too proud to admit that we’re more than a little scared. (via The Smoking Gun)