breaking fear

I received an email this week. There were three email addresses representing my “cord of three;” women I regularly share with and pray with and live life with. We’ve been embattled in the past days. Rarely are we all three in the midst of an all out spiritual battle at the same time. But in battle simultaneously we are. At the end of the prayer my friend shared over another’s situation, she wrote this extra note to God: P.S. I’m really afraid now, so please give us brave hearts.

Yes.

Please, Lord.

Brave hearts.

That’s what these ten weeks have all been working toward.

Breaking fear, even in the midst of the scariest circumstances, to enable each of us to move forward in confidence (even if still shaking) with brave hearts.

How do we do it?

We can’t. He can.

1. Acknowledge He can do whatever seems impossible.

Jeremiah 32:27 – “I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?”

Mark 10:27 – Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”

2. Recognize you are in a battle. Remember He has already won.

Deuteronomy 20:4 – Today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not panic or be terrified by them. For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.”

II Chronicles 20:17 – You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you…Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.’

Ephesians 6 – Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

3. Let Him fight for you.

Exxodus 14:13-14 – Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today… The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Deuteronomy 3:22 – Do not be afraid of them; the Lord your God himself will fight for you.4. Release the fear every single morning. Do not allow the darkness to extinguish the light.

John 1:5 – The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

I Peter 2:9 – But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

Isaiah 48: 9 – In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you; I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people, to restore the land and to reassign its desolate inheritances,to say to the captives, ‘Come out,’ and to those in darkness, ‘Be free!’

Let go of the fear that is holding you back and release it to God to fight, and WIN, this battle you are in.

There will always be scary storms. The Bible tells the story about a house built on the sand and the other on the rock – they are both battered by the storms, but the one built on the rock is still standing at the end. (Matthew 7) So will you be standing. Do not let fear rob you of the joy that comes when the storm passes. When the victory is won.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.Romans 8:28

Well friends, we’re nearly done! You’ve been with me nine weeks as we’ve journeyed what the Bible says about fear and fighting it.

I could likely write another 10 weeks on all kinds of ways the devil will use fear to paralyze us, but we have the tools now to combat those lies and terrors.

There’s something I’ve struggled with on and off for years though and it’s a sneakier fear. One we don’t typically list when we talk about bad things or uncertainty.

It’s fear that can come on you in the middle of the good.

I actually did a search of my blog because I knew I’d talked about this before. I’ll share what I found, but one of the most fascinating things I found is how God has hung I John 4:18 around my neck as a promise for YEARS. Three years ago I wrote about an outing I took to She Speaks, a writers and speakers conference (my first!), and said this:

I was a wreck. The only thing worse than thinking you might fail is thinking you might succeed. That afternoon was a roller coaster. I left the conference for almost an hour to sit on my bed and watch mindless t.v. When I returned, Amy reappeared to sit with me and walk through the drama even though she had just had her OWN three publishing appointments (which went well). I ended up confessing that I was terrified my ministry might grow, and then I would screw up and it would explode like my father’s had and end up turning people away from God. She told me I was nuts and there was only one source causing me to have a massive meltdown. We went to the next session, which happened to be on God-sized dreams, and the speakers rattled off a list of reasons that indicate you have a God-sized dream. You know what was near the top of that list? You are scared. If you are passionate about what you want to do but are suddenly terrified, you might just have yourself a God-sized dream. Ugh.

Then, at the end of the post, I quoted I John 4 as a way to push back against the fear of your dream actually coming true!

Two years later, almost to the day, I was given the same promise of I John 4. Doesn’t this sound familiar:

I am scared of disobeying God. I’m just about as scared of obedience given some of the things He is asking me to do…

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.

Then I saw I John 4 hung around me in Yosemite, and when I was thinking through career changes, and then it became the THEME verse for this study without me even realizing how it has been written on my heart all these years. Lest you think you can hear these promises once and be clear of all fear, I’m Exhibit A it’s a constant journey where I move just a little closer to knowing and trusting Him and releasing the fear.

We can become fearful over the good. Fearful of what success will look like. Scared of our dreams actually coming true. We start worrying when the other shoe will drop. But such a perspective means our view of who God is and how He loves us is warped. He’s nuts about us. He wants to see us happy:

We have become such an apprehensive people. We almost wish against experiencing a beautiful scene in our own lives for fear of what will come next. There couldn’t be an instance of unadulterated joy unmarred by misfortune. Misfortune must follow. What does that say about our faith? Our perception of God? Even the most optimistic among us, including me, sees the car accident as an inevitable consequence of the beautiful moment of blessing. We spend our lives waiting for the other shoe to drop. It doesn’t have to drop. Sometimes, there is no other shoe.

There is so much scary in the world today. The news. The economy. Misfortune. Illness. Let’s not add fear in when God provides blessings. Let’s remember how much He loves us and how much He wants the good to happen:

Ephesians 2:10 – For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Matthew 7 – Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Ephesians 1: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will – to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us.

I have faced some of these “hards” up close. Some, thankfully, I’ve not.

But I have been left, fired, unable to walk, and told I couldn’t get pregnant.

It. Is. Terrifying.

We’ve talked about fear of the unknown, but what happens when the worst actually happens? When the fear comes creeping into every corner of your conscious thinking and unconscious dreams. When tears creep out while sitting at your desk or laying in your bed. When your heart races and your breath shortens until you’re dizzy.

Fear wants to lay claim to your hard season.

Fear wants to make this temporary season your permanent storyline. Fear wants this hard to define you. To roadblock you. To paralyze you.

It’s when the hard comes we most need to Break Fear.

I have no good words so, once again, I turn to the guidance from the scripture.

1. Do not fear. This sounds completely ridiculous, but I think it is important to say. The Bible commands us, over and over again, not to fear. Not to stop fearing in our own human power, but in His power. He is right here. In the middle of the hard. He knows what comes next. He knows how He is going to use this for good. He will hold you up when your knees buckle. He will whisper words of peace and comfort over you when your heart races and fists clench.

Isaiah 41– So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand…
For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right handand says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

2. Pray. Sometimes, it is literally the only thing we can do about it. He tells us that when we pray, His peace will guard our minds. I have this concrete image of His angels of peace and courage coming to stand guard around my head as I pray. Whether it is crying out “WHY?????” or just crying, He wants us to come talk to Him. This is hard. It’s fine to acknowledge that, including when you’re talking to God. You can be angry or sad or hurt or confused. Pour it out.

Philippians 4 – Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus….I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength…And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

3. Trust Him. I do not know why you are in a hard season. I do not know why I am in a hard season. But He knows. And the hard circumstances I have faced in my life in the past, I can only see now, were used by God for His glory or His kingdom or to move me from a place of even greater danger.

Proverbs 3 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Hebrews 11 – Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Psalm 62 – Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; for God is our refuge.

4. He has this. He owns everything. He will act. He is going to act on your behalf in the middle of this hard.

Psalm 50– I have no need of a bull from your stall or of goats from your pens, for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills.

Hebrews 10 –Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering. Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution…. You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For, “In just a little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay.”

All I have this week is to mediate on His word – I’ve included these passages which encourage me as I struggle in the hard (there were too many to include them all above, but I think it’s important to have them all handy as you grieve):

Psalm 23:

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 27:

The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?…For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock…Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 18:I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears… He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Isaiah 61:

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted… to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Ephesians 3:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!

As we look at the fears which plague us, and from which we can find freedom, this one tops my personal list. Last week we tackled fears FROM our family, but this week we tackle fears FOR our families.

It’s no wonder. The world can be a scary place – particularly harrowing for those of us with children. Headline news blare stories about abductions, abuse so evil you have to shut the tv off, car accidents, disease, and all other manner of heartbreak.

But the fear, once it has a foothold in any one area of our lives, grows into the other areas. Fear over the fate or life circumstances of our parents, siblings, children, spouse, and “near” kin can paralyze us. Or at the very least keep us up at night.

Earlier, we tackled fear over things where we have no control. This is its own unique out-of-control experience. We want happiness, health, safety, and long life for those we hold most dear. Yet we have no idea what tomorrow may bring.

Just this week, four of my friends and colleagues lost parents. While one was lost to cancer, and my friend had time to prepare (making it none the easier mind you), the other three were complete shocks. One mother hit by an eighteen-wheeler. One beloved father and grandfather collapsed walking to get his mail and fatally hit his head. Another daddy didn’t wake up in the morning.

No. Warning.

Families turned upside down over loss they never saw coming.

In the face of these stories, personal and public, how do we keep from holding white knuckled onto those we love? Staring at the ceiling sleepless and nauseous over what could come? Hearing a fall or a crack and immediately imagining the worst?

What do we do? How can we respond?

1. We trust.

They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7

“He trusts in the Lord,” they say, “let the Lord rescue him… you brought me out of the womb;you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast. From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God. (Psalm 22)

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deut. 31:8)

Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can humans do to me? (Ps. 56:4)

2. We remember He loves them (kids, spouse, parents…) more than we do.

What man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! (Matt. 7:9-11)

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (I John 3:1)

3. We hope.

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I hope in Him!” (Lamen. 3:23)

There is surely a future hope for you,and your hope will not be cut off. (Prov. 23:8)

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. (Ps. 62:5)

These do not make circumstances any less hard. Replacing fear with trust takes practice. It doesn’t take away the unknown. It doesn’t guarantee a perfect outcome. But He is the hope as the anchor for our soul, firm and secure. (Heb. 6:19)

And I promise you, He can do a better job than we can.

Our worry permeates our homes and makes our children or family more fearful. Our panic over what may come undercuts anything we say about our faith and our all-powerful God. The Bible is clear He has a specific purpose for each of our lives and we have to trust He will accomplish it in those family members we love most even if we don’t understand how or why or when.

Do you pray for them? Absolutely! You and I should be on our knees claiming verses with promises of favor and faithfulness over each of them every day. He wants us to be interceding on their behalf. But then once we have brought our prayers and requests to His hands, we have to leave them there. Knowing He holds each one: He numbers our wanderings and puts our tears in His bottle (Ps. 56:8).

Homework:

1. Read the story of Hagar in Genesis 21:8- 21 – Here’s a momma sent away from her home with her boy and left in the wilderness to die. God sees her tears. God provides. Call on this God who provides when you feel fear.

2. In your morning prayers, tell God what you are most afraid of. Acknowledge it. Then acknowledge that whatever comes, He is still God. He sees you. He hears you. Entrust those you love most, and worry about most, to His perfect care.

3. Share what you’re learning on the blog or in the Facebook comments.

We’re already in week five of our Breaking Fear studies (to read past studies, click on the Bible Studies link on the right) and I hope you’re finding some freedom from fear as you journey with me on my own freedom walk.

Fear comes from many sources and for many reasons, but at the very core of our fears may be some generational baggage. I’ve previously said I come from a long line of worriers but that minimizes the extreme fear with which those in generations before me struggled.

I have some serious generational fear to contend with.

Now there may be a question if you can pass genetic fear code down, but there’s no question you can pass down bad behaviors or a spirit of fear.

Whether or not families inherit spiritual curses, it is obvious that patterns of sin are passed down through families. Everyone sins; but just as culture…steers our patterns of sin in particular directions, so do our families.

My blogging friend Amy shares in one of her fear devotionals these words about fear in a family, “Fear can permeate your spirit. It can infect the energy of your household. It can hinder the work that God wants you to do – in your family and in those around you. And if there is a particular stumbling block, we need to make sure we take a higher road. We can’t blame our parents for our mistakes, but if we know there is a certain example set before us, we can make sure we choose to follow the God’s instead.”

The Bible offers many examples of how a previous generation’s struggle or sin threatens to derail the children if you don’t break the pattern:

He committed all the sins his father had done before him; his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his forefather had been. (I Kings 15:3)

Our fathers sinned and are no more, But we bear their iniquities. (Lamen. 5:7)

So what are we to do if we have been raised with generations fearful before us? We don’t cast blame and then decide we have to live under it – no! We find freedom within the pages of the Bible which over and over commands us not to fear for God Almighty is with us:

Realize your fear may be coming from more than your circumstances or your individual struggles. This fear is a battle for how we live our lives, and God gives instructions to be on guard, to be strong, and to see the battle waging beyond our immediate situation: Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6)

Give thanks that even though those in our family lineage may have struggled under fear, doubt and worry, we are also the children of God the Father. Ephesians 5 says, Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love.

We already know from our foundational scripture in this study that perfect love, God’s love, casts out fear.

Homework:

Think about what your parents or grandparent struggled with as you grew up. Were they constantly fretful or full of worry? Identify ways in which you may have learned fear directly from one you loved and trusted.

Read Ephesians 6 and recognize there may be other factors at work in your fear than your circumstances. Pray for God to reveal those other forces at play, study the Bible so you can prepare to pray for a release from those generational fears.

Share what you’re learning with the group.

Join us as we tackle fears we experience from other people the next two weeks – fears FOR our family and fears FROM those who have tried to do us harm.

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