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Bramble Patch

The photo above features my homeboy, silent movie producer Harold Lloyd. Seen here in 1971 while tending to his year round Christmas tree display, the story of his collection, his home, and his personal history are utterly fascinating. If you live in LA and want to stalk this house for me, feel free to send me pics. I’m totally down for that.

Quick article on how to support sexual assault survivors (past and present) in the wake of the Rolling Stone scandal. Hint: avoid victim blaming and vocally shut it down when you hear it coming from others, be it in person, on line, or off the cuff. Those comments are not okay. Ever.

I know what you are thinking: What is a krampus? Really, the question is who is Krampus! Ahem

Krampus is a beast-like creature from the folklore of Alpine countries thought to punish children during the Christmas season who had misbehaved, in contrast with Saint Nicholas, who rewards well-behaved ones with gifts. Krampus is said to capture particularly naughty children in his sack and carry them away to his lair.*

Just think, here you have been using an Elf on a Shelf to keep your kids in line when all this time you could have used a goat-horned demon with a foot long tongue carrying rusty chains and bells, wandering the town and wailing for the souls of naughty children. Dang. Leave it to the Germans to make stuff weird.

In addition to celebrating Krampus, this is also one of those weekends in early December that is perfect for making stuff for Christmas. Here are a few of my favorites!

16. This is a photo of Mr. T and Nancy Reagan. Not because it’s crafty but because I’m going to Washington DC in a few weeks to tick off another item on my life list and see THE WHITE HOUSE AT CHRISTMAS. Does anyone have any secret special insight on Christmas in DC? Stuff to do, things to see? I won’t be there that long, and the museums and monuments are a no-brainer, but is there a must-see secret cavern where the government keeps the crafty elves that make the ornaments for the capital tree? The place for the best mug of peppermint hot chocolate? Mysteriously, this information did not make it in the Snowden files. I’m relying on y’all to give me the scoop!

Woke up this morning to find a cicada buzzing around under my covers. In bed. With me.

If you have never seen a cicada, understand that this is not a good thing. A Cicada is an insect somewhere between a horse fly and a cockroach, roughly the size ofa fat man’s thumb, aggressive and loud, somewhere between 15 – 20 years old. It is an ollllld ass bug. And it was in my bed. So I screamed, got the vaccum cleaner hose, sucked it down. Now it’s buzzing and thumbing around in the vacuum canister as I sit here writing this. Not gonna feel bad. Nope. Eff him. Let him rot for an hour. It’s my birthday, and monster bugs in the bed is a helluva way to wake up.

4. The David Bowie exhibit is coming to Chicago’s Museum of Contemporary Art in four days. FOUR DAYS. I’ll start working on my eye makeup tomorrow.

So that is what I know about that. Now I’m off to release the hellion cicada from his dusty chamber, followed by a morning of epic thrifting in farmtown and some apple picking — my favorite birthday tradition.

A dude pal, who wishes to remain nameless, just revealed that he wears men’s elevator shoes from this place all the time. Not because he need more height, but because, “Same reason you wear heels. They make my ass look great.” Interesting.

This is where I include a list of my favorite distractions from the last month, which is surprisingly short this time as it’s been a helluva month for distractions. Whew! Okay, now, this is the part where I get to be the annoying blogger and say “Sorry I have been falling behind guys, I have been soooo buzzzy!!” (don’t you hate it when they do that?) but yeah. Things come in seasons and this has been a burning the candle at both ends kind of season. I’m sure a lot of you have much heavier loads, but I’m just being honest: I’m pooped and my blogging time has suffered for that. I’m not going to apologize for it because this is a hobby for me, it’s free for you, and it’s okay if I let it slip…but, if you are a regular reader and you picked up on the lack of posts lately, you deserve an explanation on why I’ve been such a crappy girlfriend. So that’s what I know about that. Anyway. The crest has nearly passed and I’ll be back on track soon. Thanks for sticking with me. We’ll talk more later, okay? In the meantime, gtg, I am literally about to carry a “camel load” of pompoms across state lines.Happy weekend!

Reminder: If you are thinking about ordering photo enlargements, use my favorite resource and do it before June 17 (that’s when the 25% off code expires). I recently ordered a bunch more prints for work purposes and they just keep getting better.

Okay, so I’m behind. I usually publish Bramble Patch posts the last Friday of the month, and instead I’m posting it the first day of May. So we are just going to pretend it’s last Friday and call it vinatge, K? K!

Here are 18 offbeat holidays you can celebrate in may. Not even hardcore Pinterest holiday boards can catch up to May 22, World Goth Day.

My quest for new podcasts continues (hint: suggestions always welcome)…I’m currently into The Lively Show‘s interviews with creative women.

Here is a video of retro sex bomb Don Draper, aka John Hamm, making an ass of himself as a dorky 25-year-old on a 90’s dating show. I do not promote this video as a moment to mock this man, but more so as a reminder that we all have the potential for vast, vast improvement.

We started a discussion on Facebook about the color pink (prompted by this article). I predict pink is going to fall out of favor in the next few years, mostly because it is being politicized as a gender label and not just another wonderful color of the rainbow. Interesting. What do you think?

I know what you are thinking; Why is there a polar bear playing basketball in space?

The real question is why are there not more polar bears playing basketball in space.

This, among other things, has me happily distracted this last month.

***I’m crazy about these blueprint portrait series. Cheap and expressive. So fun. Great for kids or couples. Would look great in the lobby of a small business too!

Fashion lessons from the Cosby Show. Note: this article doesn’t even mention Vanessa’s perm years, or a plethora of other Cosby style tips, so this is really just a primer. I may *need* to write the follow up.

NEWSFLASH: There is an entire store devoted to confetti. Oh, confetti. Dontcha just want to grease yourself up in butter and roll around in it all day long? Is that too much? …Too much. Okay. But she also has a super cute blog. And this Breakfast of Champions print is rocking my word.

Serious note: my Land’s End parka is the only thing getting me through this Game of Thrones style never-ending winter of doom. Seriously, folks, I don’t know how I would have done it in the coats (many, many coats) I was wearing up until a couple years ago. You don’t know how not-warm 95% of all coats are made until you survive a Midwestern winter in a truly, truly warm coat. I know the season is nearly through, but they are selling the remaining inventory half price – so if you are looking to buy for next year, I can’t recommend this sucker enough. (He also has a leopard sister). Worth every penny even at full price. Also, just to clarify, this is not a sponsored plug; this is a survival tip. Mother Nature isn’t going be less bitchy come next winter. Prepare your ass now.