Here’s my alternative definition: morality is any system of interlocking values, practices, institutions, and psychological mechanisms that work together to suppress or regulate selfishness and make social life possible. It turns out that human societies have found several radically different approaches to suppressing selfishness, two of which are most relevant for understanding what Democrats don’t understand about morality.

Hmmm, let’s see, some dudes in Hawaii are apparently VERY pessimistic. I mean really, just one little poofy black hole. What’s the worst that could happen? (But they are strangely optimistic when it comes to the justice system; I mean, really, Hawaii has international super powers?)

But, I on the other hand, tend to take a brighter view of the world. Apparently, I am not alone:

Oh, XKCD, what would we do without you to put the world of science in perspective?