Changes: It’s not that scary (Part 1)

We often think that change is a scary word to face. For everything is not permanent in this world. Sometimes we ask why it has to be that way when we’re so happy to be in that same position. For the most part though, we don’t realize that change is happening to all of us, and neither can even tell that it’s happening.

Until someone we know points it out.

I know that some changes are for the good. It’s that pat-on-the-shoulder kind of thing because we accept it with arms wide open. We gladly embrace the definition of it and how it’s going to affect us. The only thing I’m scared about that word is if it ends up on the not so good part.

So here are some of the real life first-hand changes that happened to me that shapes who I am now:

On career path

When I was a child, I dreamed of becoming a teacher. But then again, I think all kids dreamed of becoming a teacher, a doctor, a police, a soldier… those general careers that we think so highly. One thing I like about it is that I have a goal in mind. I want to achieve something great in the future. Though as we grow up, we realize that sometimes a child’s dream changes overtime.

During my third year in high school, I got a new dream. I wanted to become an accountant and I wanted to attend Polytechnic University of the Philippines. What changed my mind? One of my teachers became my inspiration. Every time she told us about her life story during her college days, I was in awe. Her story was very inspiring that even walking from home to school was something she would do just so she could attend a class. It’s the hard work and determination that got to me. It’s the passion to achieve and fulfill it.

So fast forward and I finally got to college, to my dream school – the Polytechnic University of the Philippines. But, I didn’t get to take accountancy. But, I leaned into something close to it – Banking and Finance. I didn’t have any idea what kind of course was that. Then came graduation and it hit me, that was not where I was supposed to be.

In the end, I felt like I’d wasted four years of my life to something I never see myself doing. So when I welcomed the corporate world, I was back to square one.

But you know what kept me going? My love for writing.

Then came my love for traveling.

From there, I’m building a future that I know someday I’ll be proud of. A future where I can say that I achieve what I love to do.

Change of career path is quite scary as it will determine most of our lives, but don’t let the fear get to you. Explore. Get to know yourself more. The only regret we’ll ever have is if we don’t do and listen what our guts and hearts are telling us.

On friendship

I’m a shy-type person. I also don’t believe I have a lot of friends but the funny thing is, during my school days, I was always awarded as Ms. Friendship. Always. So how can I say that I have a small group of friends?

Elementary, high school, college and even in the corporate world, I have different set of friends. Some have come and some have gone. But this time, I can finally give justice to what I always say to myself – that I only have a small group of friends.

Maturity does that to you. You slowly, sometimes unconsciously, let go of those who don’t matter to you. The ones who stays are the ones you see yourself bonding with through and through. Those are the ones you can share secrets with and not a single thing will come out. Those are the ones you believe will always be there for you no matter what the circumstances are.

I believe that the years doesn’t matter. No matter how long or how short the friendship is, it’s the bond that matters the most. What’s the use of ten years of friendship if after one moment, they’re gone. Poof. It’s the sad truth of being so in it that we never get to see that some people change and it might result to the end of the relationship – for this matter, the friendship. There’s nothing more painful than losing a friend. That I can prove. You’re heartbroken, you run to your friend. You’re broke, you run to your friend. You’re happy, you run to your friend first. That’s how important they are. But if you can’t go to them anymore, thinking that they might not respond the way they are to you before, then that’s the end of it.

I don’t say that friends who stop talking can no longer have the same bond . I have friends who I only get to talk to once in a while and see each other once a year, but it doesn’t feel like that. It’s that feeling that it’s still there. The trust to share a secret, the relief to know their situation, the happiness to be with them – it’s all still there. But if you feel like seeing them is nerve wracking and you can’t follow each other’s jokes, that’s sad.

I want to believe that the handful of friends I have right now are the people who choose to stay in my life. Because, anyone can go. Anyone can stop talking to me and build another friendship to others, that’s fine by me. But let me know. At least let your friends know that, “Hey, I don’t want to be friends with you anymore. Bye.” At least we know.

You know that you’re in a good friendship if all of your friends can match each others’ weirdness. Like come on. You’ll never be friends with them if they don’t all have the common denominator, right? There’s one thing that all of you are connected. That’s the kind of friendship you’re supposed to be. That’s why I’m assessing mine and after 3… 2… 1… I can say that I’m in the right friendship.

What has changed, you ask? Letting them step out without any grudge. I can’t let someone stay when they are no longer happy with the kind of friendship I’m offering. Like I said, I’m happy with the amount of friends I have right now.