DIY MacBook upgrade

Yeah, so that black MacBook you bought a couple of years ago with an 80 GB hard drive isn't lookin' so hot now, is it? You know things are bad when you have to delete your pr0n videos to make room for incoming email. You'd like to swap out the hard drive, but your tech skills are sucky. What do you do?

Advance note to commenters: yeah, we know this isn't exactly rocket science, but for those who might be a little squeamish about actually yanking the hard drive out of their MacBooks, these step-by-step instructions should put their minds at ease.