Negotiation is a part of every aspect of our life. In your personal life it could be trying to get your spouse to do a chore or run an errand. In your professional life it might involve a raise, increase in a client’s budget or a lease on new office space.

Negotiation is a bit like conflict resolution, it makes people uncomfortable. Asking for more money or a concession is not easy, what it is…is necessary and part of life.

So…how do you become a better negotiator? Here are a few tips from me and Harvard Business Review (HBR), we’ll see if you can tell the difference.

Use humor. Not everything in life has to be so damn serious. The first thing I do when entering an awkward conversation is admit it is awkward. This usually sets people at ease and opens the floor for an honest discussion.

Change the setting. Go grab a beer and review that contract. Taking someone out of their everyday setting can lighten the mood and loosen everyone up. I mean, a cocktail or two helps lessen the tension.

Smartness or as they say IQ. According to Harvard Business Review, people with higher IQs tend to approach negotiations in a more cooperative or collaborative way. They also have some really witty, intelligent responses. Some people are just good on their feet. For those of us that are not, refer to #1.

Self-awareness. HBR has this to say about those of us that are self reflective – we all have mental models to interpret other people’s behaviors, and awareness of these models is key to influencing how people think of us. What this also means is narcissistic individuals are at a disadvantage, as they have no ability to see past themselves.

The deal is you get the ability to choose how you approach the convo, what you say and ultimately how you react.

As 834 continues to grow (along with my anxiety), we naturally add more employees. Our culture is a unique one, or so I have heard, and integrating a new employee takes time, patience and resources.

A study by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) states that on average, companies lose 17% of their new hires during the first three months. When you think about the investment that goes into a new employee in terms of technology, benefits, space and more; this is a really scary statistic.

The key to success is the onboarding and training process. An article by the Harvard Business Review suggests that companies extend training to a year versus just a few months. A year! Can you imagine? I’m lucky if something can hold my attention for 5 minutes.

Here are a few tips that come from individuals way smarter than me:

Be clear on expectations. When an employee starts, ensure they understand their job description. If they are unsure of responsibilities they can’t meet your expectations and it will leave everyone frustrated.

Set training objectives. A 2007 study from the Wynhurst Group found that newly hired employees are 58 percent more likely to still be at the company three years later if they had completed a structured onboarding process. Determine timeframe of training along with content. What does your new hire need to know about culture and work environment? How will their performance be measured? Investing the time in creating a solid onboarding process upfront will save you time and money in the long run.

First day. First days are nerve wracking. What can you do to offset this? Be sure to have passwords, laptops and a space set up for the new employee. There is nothing worse than joining a new company and feeling as if your presence is a hassle. Set objectives, define expectations and make them feel welcome!

Check in regularly. Be available and listen. Set up a one-month check-in to make sure they are comfortable and engaged. Review their work and give thoughtful feedback. This should go on up to 6 months, SHRM recommends a year.

Be empathetic. Okay, so I added this one. Do you remember when you started a new job? You were excited, scared and nervous. How can you ease the transition? How do you make a new employee feel at home? These are all questions you need to ask yourself before the employee starts. Share their excitement!

Onboarding is hard and not the most fun, but it is also incredibly important. What tips do you have for companies onboarding a new employee?

If everyone agreed, what would be the point of teamwork? Idea exchange is messy, loud and conflicting and that is how it should be.

Too often, in this politically correct world, we want things and people in nice, neat, cooperative packages. That expectation kills creativity. Collaboration should be opinionated, noisy, messy, bright, creative and challenging. Not all conflict is bad, in fact conflict is great for business.

A recent article by Harvard Business Review (HBR) states, it’s time to change your mindset about conflict. Let go of the idea that all conflict is destructive, and embrace the idea that productive conflict creates value. If you think beyond the trite clichés, it’s obvious: Collaborating is unnecessary if you agree on everything.

Think about it, when was a great idea ever born out of unilateral agreement? Building a team that looks at situations differently, enables a business to better serve their clients. Give your team permission to disagree.

This line by HBR says it all: Collaboration’s promise of greater innovation and better risk mitigation can go unfulfilled because of cultural norms that say everyone should be in agreement, be supportive, and smile all the time. The common version of collaboration is desperately in need of a little more conflict.

You often hear how hard the startup stage is for a new business but not a lot of people address the headaches of growth.

Personally, I think the growth stage is harder than the startup stage…it seems damn near impossible at times. At the startup stage you are focused on obtaining customers and delivering the service or product you are contracted for. Your concerns are money and production.

When you reach the growth stage, you have the customers, money and have tackled a lot of hurdles to even get to the point where you can consider growing.

Harvard Business Review says this of growth: Among the important tasks are to make sure the basic business stays profitable so that it will not outrun its source of cash and to develop managers to meet the needs of the growing business.

The key problems you face are growing rapidly and financing the growth.

Some of the shitty stuff you are up against:

Delegation. What comes first? The customer? The employee to manage that customer? Where does the salary come from? How do you anticipate growth? How the hell do you manage all of your employees? First step is relinquishing some control, empowering employees and taming your Type A tendencies. Good luck.

Money. You start growing and bam! you are hit with a larger tax bill, salaries of the new employees you had to hire, expanded office space, equipment costs, benefits and more. Doesn’t the government know that growth costs a shitload of money?

Resources. How the fuck do you do it all? In the startup stage you are the one managing payroll, tax filing, invoicing and more. When you start growing you often have to outsource these tasks. It becomes necessary to hire a human resource company, payroll company, bookkeeper, accountant or custodial service. Your best bet is to find someone who has been through it and learn from them.

When starting out it was just you and maybe 2 or 3 additional employees, now you have a team of 10, 15, 30 or more. How do you manage it all?

There are days, hell weeks…that I am just physically and mentally done, I contemplate selling or scaling back so it is just me and an employee or two…or I buy an island and sit in the sun drinking tequila. Who am I kidding, I can’t afford an island and every day sitting on the beach staring at the ocean…well that’s just boring.

You know, as well as I do, that we wouldn’t be satisfied doing anything else. So, in the words of my friend Sue…