Yes, dear friends, it’s finally here: the worst Saturday of the college football season.

We’re not going to pretend a magical menu of matchups is in the offing. You know why? Because it isn’t. You know why else? Because we’re all going to watch hours upon hours of game action anyway. Otherwise, that’s right, we’d be total losers.

So let’s do some Big Game Hunting, starting with the four best matchups on the board. (All games on Saturday unless otherwise noted. All games Eastern.)

The Mountaineers (3-0) are the darlings of the Big 12 this season. They’ve got talent coming out of their ear holes, they’re even more fun to watch than Baylor was and, oh, yeah, they have leading Heisman candidate Geno Smith, whose numbers thus far look a whole lot like RG3’s did.

A lot of folks think Smith’s team will not only up the conference’s fun factor but, quite momentously, win a championship in Year 1 as a member. It all starts with that first W.

2. No. 14 Ohio State at No. 20 Michigan State (3:30 p.m., ABC): The Buckeyes (4-0) and Spartans (3-1) are a combined 7-1 and both are ranked. In the catastrophically bad Big Ten this season, that pretty much equates them to the Big Red Machine and the Bad Boy Pistons. You know what would stop the embarrassment around the league, for even just a few hours? A real killer of a game in East Lansing.

We just might get it, too, as Buckeyes quarterback Braxton Miller, the conference’s most exciting player—no, it’s not Denard Robinson anymore—goes up against Will Gholston and the conference’s nastiest defense.

“Our guys are going to play fast and attack and play very confidently,” MSU coach Mark Dantonio said on Tuesday. By the way, think Dantonio might like to beat Urban Meyer in honor of his dear friend Jim Tressel?

And what about the Cowboys (2-1)? They don’t figure to be as good as they were in 2011, when they beat UT in Austin, but can they come close? They’re all the way down at No. 9 right now in our Big 12 Power Poll, and that has nothing to do with starting quarterback Wes Lunt being banged up.

4. Wisconsin at No. 22 Nebraska (8 p.m., ABC):It was 48-17 a year ago in Madison—a beyond-miserable Big Ten debut for the Huskers. A similar blowout might be in order in Lincoln, only with the Huskers (legit 3-1) taking it to the two-time defending league champion Badgers (bogus 3-1), who have played truly horrendous football in all four outings this season.

“They’re a different team this year (and) we’re a different team,” said Nebraska coach Bo Pelini on Tuesday. “Whoever executes the best on Saturday will win the football game.”

Any chance new starting quarterback Joel Stave can spark his team to the sort of upset win that might restore the Badgers as Leaders Division favorites? Gosh, we hope you don’t tune in expecting to see that.

Four of a Kind: Cinderella games

1. Who knew there’d be a single good reason to watch No. 18 Oregon State at Arizona (10 p.m., Pac-12 Network), let alone two of them? The Wildcats (3-1, 0-1) must still be rubbing dirt on the gaping psychological wounds suffered in a 49-0 loss at Oregon, but even with that loss they’ve played better than expected overall. And the Beavers (2-0)—who’ve beaten Wisconsin and UCLA—simply look like a team reborn. Not zero, not one, but two pretty strong squads here, for sure.

2. If Oklahoma State’s Lunt isn’t full-go and second-teamer J.W. Walsh gets the call again, his play will really be worth monitoring. It had to sting Walsh to get beaten out by a true freshman, but what if he nails it again as he did in Week 3 vs. Louisiana Lafayette (347 yards, 4 TDs, 0 INTs)? He’ll give Mike Gundy a lot to think about.

3. A 4-0 record is the prize when Iowa State hosts Texas Tech (7 p.m., FCSC). Offensive advantage: Red Raiders. Defensive advantage: Cyclones. Upshot: Could be one of these teams will turn into this season’s surprise team in the Big 12.

4. Normally we’d see Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech (3:30 p.m., ESPNU) at FedEx Field in Landover, Md., and our mouths would instantly begin to form the word “no”—as in, no chance for the Bearcats. But we picked UC (2-0) to win the Big East this year, which clearly means … well, nothing. It’s not like a team can’t get creamed by the Hokies (3-1) then turn around and win its sad-sack conference.

Three Things I Don’t Want to Know Yet But Am Afraid I Already Do

Going out on a limb here and flat-out guaranteeing that means Leach isn’t good for one of those epic upsets he used to pull off at Texas Tech; not this year, anyway. Just in case that’s spectacularly incorrect, don’t you dare miss No. 2 Oregon (4-0, 1-0 Pac-12) at 2-2, 0-1 Washington State (10:30 p.m., ESPN2).

2. It’s just not happening for Tennessee at No. 5 Georgia (3:30 p.m., CBS). The Vols (3-1, 0-1 SEC) had their chance to matter again—last week in Knoxville vs. Florida—and, well, you saw what they did with it. Bulldogs (4-0, 2-0) in a cruel romp-and-stomp.

3. Tampa’s Raymond James Stadium will be awash in screams of joy as the clock winds down on No. 4 Florida State’s game at USF (6 p.m., ESPN) That’s because the stands will be packed with fans of the 4-0 Seminoles. As for the Bulls (2-2)? When your own people don’t think you matter, you probably don’t.

An Underdog You Definitely Should Bet Your House On

Penn State +2 at Illinois. Did news of the Illini’s 52-24 loss at home to Louisiana Tech last weekend somehow not reach Las Vegas? Both teams in this game are 2-2, but PSU has played so much better it ain’t even funny.

One More Thing

As previously stated, Geno Smith is the current Heisman front-runner. Not quite to the extent RG3 was in 2011, Smith is the talk of the Big 12. What might push him all the way up to that level? That’s easy: He needs a nickname.

That nickname will not be GS3, although one could argue for it; Smith’s father’s name, according to the quarterback’s bio on WVU’s athletics website, is Geno Smith Jr. Not much of a ring to GS3, though.