6. FIRST: He goaltended a shot. OK, that happens. But he didn’t just, like, tip it away from the hoop — he catapulted the ball into the stands. Really, really far.

7. SECOND: After missing a hook shot, JaVale just assumed that the Raptors rebounded the ball, and so he sprinted back on defense — even though Washington still had possession. John Wall was very, very confused.

13. In memoriam, let’s remember that time he drove his Segway through a McDonald’s drive-thru.

14. On a brighter note, we learn from a Sports Illustrated profile that JaVale calls his off-the-backboard self-oop the “Super Hi-Fi Superphonic Supersonic Ultra Intercontinental Bring It Around the World Throw It Off the Back Dunk,” which is pretty cool.

20. …then revealed that, in fact, he had LIED about copping a pet platypus. It was a roller-coaster day for all of us.

21. OFFSEASON:

In June, July, and August, JaVale mostly kept off the radar, which made sense, considering that the NBA was off until the fall. However, there were three major developments in the world of JaVale that are more than worth mentioning.

22. FIRST DEVELOPMENT: JaVale reminded us that, on Twitter, he is not JaVale; he is Pierre.

34. Also in September, JaVale tried to buy 10 Denver-ians(?) burritos at Chipotle. Only one guy showed up. He bought that guy a burrito.

35. Undeterred, he then tried to buy 10 Denver-ites(?) Noodles and Co.

36. THIS SEASON:

JaVale’s been pretty good so far during the 2012-13 season: he’s posting the best true shooting percentage, blocks- and points-per-game numbers of his career. But for concision’s sake, we’ll sum up his performance to date in three simple GIFs.