DISCLAIMER: If you’re easily offended, overly sensitive or feel the need to argue with everything you read on social media, you might want to skip this one. Actually, please do skip it.

Let’s face it. Sometimes the best entertainment at our kids’ baseball and softball games doesn’t come from the game itself. It’s the off-color commentary from semi-ornery, overly truthful parents and grandparents that stick in our memories long after the last out was made. Over the past few weeks, I’ve heard a few that were too good not to share.

1. “We haven’t had to do any fundraisers since Jamie started putting that swear jar outside the dugout every game. Heck, we’ve almost got Ripken paid for.

2. “$20 a person to get in and they ain’t even got batteries in the scoreboard!”

3. (to a kid recovering from a batting slump) “Congratulations, Son! You remembered where second base is!”

4. “Blue, you need to ask for help! FROM THE LORD!”

5. “Check out that kid’s knuckle ball! What’d the radar say? 7, maybe 9 mph?”6. “I really hate it when both sets of parents have to share the same bleachers and I have to be nice.”

7. (when two local teams wound up at the same out of town tournament) “Well, if we can’t beat ’em at home, what idiot thought we could beat ’em 300 miles away at a $1,200 tournament, payin’ for two nights in a hotel room!”

8. “You know you’re a bad person when you miss your kid scoring because you were busy taking a photo of another mom’s shorts so you could send it to your friend to make fun of.”

9. (when a runner was easily out trying to steal third) “No, the coach didn’t send him. He went on his own. His mama forgot to give him his Ritalin this morning.”

10. “No, Son. You’re not changing teams because I don’t have the energy to get to know a whole new group of parents.

I was doing a 9U baseball game, 1st of the season, 3 times a coach near the dugout complained about 3 calls, didn’t yell but made it loud enough for everyone to hear, I didn’t say a word as I knew that I would have him again which I did 1 week later so heres how I handled it, when I got to the game early I went up to the coach and said “coach would you come out to left field i’d like to talk to you” { they were 3rd base dugout} we went out to left field and I said to him, ” coach everything you say and do on this field your son is watching and learning and he is learning disrespect for authority and people in uniform, and when they get older when they show disrespect bad things happen to them and who gets blamed? the policeman but who’s fault is it really, it was the parent who taught him disrespect” they was not another problem out of him the rest of the game and I assure there will never be a problem out of him the rest of his like.