Due End Nov/Beg Dec 2013 With DC#2

Hi everyone, was going to join one of the November threads, but they're so full already and I'm only about 6 weeks pg, so feel a bit behind some of the others!

Been ttc for about 6 months and delighted to find out I was pg as ds took 2 years ttc. Ds is now 20 months. Don't have an actual due date yet as I have really long cycles and havn't had booking appointment or anything yet.

No majorly troublesome symptoms as yet, just sore boobs, more tired than usual and digestion bit delicate. Don't even feel pg some days, so it's pretty hard to believe sometimes!

Lilstar, the FB page is a secret group so it doesn't appear on you timeline for everyone to see (I wouldn't want all my friends and family reading about some of the stuff we talk about on there!! Lol) as its a private group I can't add a link as its a secret one and so doesn't even appear if you search for it on FB. When you're ready to join.. Head over to the nov 2013 thread where someone can add you

We got to hear the heartbeat at my appointment last week so that was pretty exciting and I'm sure the movements are definetly movements now, although can only really feel it when I get the chance to sit down and rest (which isn't often!).

Yoga, glad someone else in the same boat regarding potty training. It's been a week now and ds is dong really well going for a pee with hardly any accidents, but has become so terrified of doing a poo and is holding it in, to the point where he asks to go every two minutes but doesn't want to sit and then it ends up on the floor as he is so desperate. Honestly yesterday was a nightmare, with about 100 trips to the bathroom and him doing nothing and I was so exhausted last night was thinking about giving up.

Lilstar - hoping you may be able to shed some light? At least your older child should be fairly independent at 14 - will they help you do you think? It's interesting to get that perspective on things as I am constantly worrying about how I'll cope with a baby and a toddler.

Yoga - when is your next mw appointment? I have my 20 week scan in 3 weeks! Can't believe how quickly it's going compared to first time round!

I am (reluctantly) on fb, but not too familiar with how groups work etc. so happy to stick with this if anyone else is.x

I'm good thanks, still just the dreaded tiredness getting me, but it's bareable! I was gutted I never got to hear the heartbeat at my apt. Midwife said it's not "standard procedure" at this stage, so I'm now looking forward to my scan for that think but that's on the 19th July, so a while till then! What date is yours? I am already feeling nervous about the scan. I'm still not feeling movement, not worried about that yet, but it's is just making me more certain that my initial due date of 4/12 is more accurate.

Sorry to hear you're exhausted with the trials of toilet training but to be honest, I wouldn't give up, sounds like he is doing really well if he is having hardly any accidents after just a week. I remember my DD going through a stage of not wanting to poo. It's hard to know what to do for them but I remember just sitting infront of her when she was on the toilet (she had one of those little inserts), reassuring her that she would feel better once she had done it. Eventually after she done it, she never seemed to go through that stage again. I think it's quite common. If you can calm him down enough, you could try reading a story to him while he tries, or see how he responds with a sticker chart (one type of sticker for going for a wee and his favourite kind for doing a poo). Probably important to up his fibre/water intake because him resisting will be making him constipated, and more difficult to "go". It can be a vicious circle because then it's sore and they don't understand. How are you getting on today with it?

I'm not really too worried about practical help when DC is born, because as you say DD will be 14, fairly independent and DP is supportive. It's more just the idea of doing it all over again when I had resigned myself to not having any more children. DD is due to go in for an operation but I don't have a date for that. They said nearer autumn, so I am worried her recovery might clash with DC's arrival. Which is also part of the reason why I'm hoping to get an ELCS, so I can at least plan for that (would have helped if I'd planned a bit better in the first place lol) x

How lovely that you got to hear the heartbeat tiny, I really hope we get to hear it too (our appointment is next week, with the GP rather than the midwife). Fingers crossed. We only saw it at the 12 week scan, as the sound wasn't on so we couldn't hear the gorgeous thud thud thud.

Sounds like the potty training is going well tiny, don't give up! I hear that holding poo in is really common, hopefully will sort itself out soon. Lots of fibre and dried fruit to help things move easily?! Sorry it's so tiring though, must be a real killer added onto preg tiredness and general exhaustion of looking after a toddler. Great advice from lilstar, thank you. I have ordered a book to start reading to DD to prepare her, and some star stickers - thinking of fashioning a sticker chart or something. I've heard of others rewarding with a chocolate button but I can't imagine my DD being content with just one, she'd demand the whole bag and I can't face that kind of battle as well as trying to approach potty training calmly.

Lilstar - hope you get your planned ELCS and that there's a nice lot of space between that and your DD's operation, must be tricky knowing that two big things are coming up at the end of the year. Hope it goes smoothly. Is your DD excited about having a little brother/sister? Will you find out the sex?

Thanks very much for the tips although I have to say I've tried all of those things and more with ds and potty training, without any success! I just don't know why he has become so scared as he was fine the first few days. Today hasn't been much better I'm afraid and he actually did a poo during the night in his nappy. Glad he did it, but hate the thought of him going all night with a dirty nappy on and his poor wee bottom getting sore. I'll definitely up his fibre/water though and hopefully avoid further problems.

Yoga - I was doing the sticker chart, but he got bored of it fairly quickly and it wasn't enough incentive any more. Maybe I'll try going back to it for poos though. I got a really good book called the Boy's Potty Book and there is a girl's equivalent too. He loves that and I read that to him and I've also put a whole lot of mini picture books in the bathroom too.

Although it's really daunting, I have found that getting him out of the house helped him 'forget' about it a little and he wasn't asking to go every 2 mins, however it returned to the same pattern as soon as we got home. I don't really give him chocolate as a general rule, but have resorted to bribing him with raisins as he loves them. It's still not working! Was so close to tears this morning and my dh, mum, no-one seems to be able to help. I have given in and left a message for the health visitor although they have been pretty useless in the almost 2 years so far!

Thanks though for your encouragement not to give up though as that's how I feel and and several people have said just put him back in nappies and try again in a few weeks, but he's doing so well otherwise and I asked him again this morning whether he wanted pull ups or big boy pants and he asked for the pants, so what does that tell you?

They wouldn't do the heartbeat until the 16 week appointment here although we too were able to see it on the 12 week scan. I think my 20 week scan is the 10th July, seems really soon!

Lilstar - hope your dd's operation is before to allow her time to recover before the baby's arrival. Don't worry though, these things have a way of working themselves out. I am also planning to have an ELCS, although it's not been an easy choice.

Hope you had a better day today tiny - i reckon tiredness and preg hormones and toddlers are a recipe for emotional disaster. I'm definitely much more affected by things now, think my tolerance threshold has gone right down, for all sorts of things. And stuff I might have breezed through before I find more of a struggle. How's the potty training? Hope you're not too tired, I'm shattered and haven't even started yet. Am a bit scared about it to be honest! Have a good night all xx

Welcome queen - I recognise you from the due in December thread (I'm following it but don't post very often - so hard to keep up!) How amazing to have your c section date - you know exactly when you'll meet your baby. And you can be mega organised, lovely food in the fridge for the first few days, people in hand to help/stay away when you want... I'm quite jealous. My DD was born in her due late (2 years ago) which was nice. I'd been kind if aiming for that date for 9 months but didn't really expect to meet her then, wonderful to meet her bang on target. A friend if mine went over 2 weeks overdue with both of hers and flu d the wait agonising. None of that for you!

AND you know it's a girl! Amazing, congratulations. I love having a little girl. Think this one might be a boy, which would be lovely. Happy either way actually. But don't think we'll have any more after this, so really excited to know what shape our family will be in December as that will prob be it!

I do like knowing when I'll meet her; but I really wish she could be ready sooner. I'm incredibly impatient. When I had my DS, I just knew I wouldn't be able to wait till his due date--the anxiety caused me to have pre-eclampsia and he was born on the first day of the 37th week. I really have to hypnotise myself into letting this one stay in at least until 38 weeks.

I'm thrilled to be having a little girl right now, but I feel wrong for not making an effort the plan for the next child right away. I come from a bundle of 4, (3 sisters and we have 1 brother)...nothing was better than having two sisters. I feel wrong for having just one girl. I feel like boys appreciate anyone around, but girls really need their sisters. I know I do...but then I've met loads of girls who don't get along with their sisters at all...so I could just be gambling and hoping my children will have the same luck with their relationships that I do.

Our brother feels pretty happy about having three sisters; he never felt the need for a brother but he feels like if he had a brother he would have missed having sisters.

Hi everyone and welcome Queen! That's great you already have the gender news and your c section date. Your midwives must be on the ball! I am also having a planned c section, but don't have a date yet, although they said they do it at 39 weeks and I'm due 27th Nov, so that would be around the 20th Nov. Have the 20 week scan in about 2 weeks and will hopefully find out the sex then - can't wait! On your brother/sister thing - I have a sister and we're not really close, so maybe it just depends on the individuals. It does make me sad and I have tried, but she just doesn't seem that interested in having much of a relationship with me.

Yoga - I am still very up and down and like you, think it's just a combination of the hormones and the toddler challenges. We also have quite a lot going on with dh's work etc. etc. so there are several things that are a concern at the moment too and that isn't helping.

That's lovely your dd was born on her due date! i don't know if many people achieve that! My ds was 5 days late, but I was induced so have a feeling it would have been longer! We're still having problems with potty training in terms of pooing, but surprisingly dh seems to be having more success with him with it. Meant to be going on a toddler bus trip tommorow and I have to say I am somewhat nervous! People keep saying 'just put him in a pull up for the trip', but he now won't go in a pull up and asks to go to the potty! I guess that's a good thing, but doesn't help my nerves any. Wish me luck!

Good luck on the bus tiny! Do you have one of those portable potties? Not sure if I should invest in one before we embark on potty training...

Queen - I know what you mean about having sisters. I'm close with my sister (and with my brother, but not in the same way) and would love that for DD. But there's no guarantees and no way of planning these things, much as I'd love to. My family has two girls and one boy (me the oldest, then my sister, then my brother) and secretly I think I'd like to replicate that. But on the other hand stopping at two appeals as I'm not sure I'm up for the chaos and hard work of 3 kids...

Hi girls, well the trip went well overall, although we did have a few toilet visits on the bus and several when we were there. I don't have a portable potty, but just take a regular one in a bag wherever we go. Am knackered today though as it was a long day and no naps for ds or me! Also dh forgot to put a pull up on ds when he went to bed the night before so you can imagine the washing I had that morning and all before we had to catch the bus! Arrrgggghhh, men!

My sis has a 4 month old little girl and I had hoped that would make us closer, but unfortunately not. She's also a single parent and I sometimes think she's jealous because I'm married. Although if she really knew me and knew some of the stuff that dh and I are going through right now, she would realise that no-one has a perfect life or perfect situation, no matter how it looks to an outsider! I am lucky though and do have some really good friends. I just wish it didn't bother me so much, but maybe it's just that I'm over-emotional at the moment anyway.

Anyway, was contemplating an aquanatal class tonight, but to be honest, by the time 7pm comes round I'm ready for PJ's and bed! Can't go during day though as no-one to look after ds. Are any of you doing any preg-related exercise?

Queen - I guess I'm just upset as she doesn't take much of an interest in my ds either and then expects him to be all over her when she does see him, when in actual fact he barely knows her! Also I really tried to be there for her when she was pregnant because she was on her own and gave her stuff and sent her messages every week asking how she was and that's me, 18 weeks in and never hear from her - it's like she just doesn't care at all. Sorry, rant over! My point was sometimes siblings get on great and sometimes they don't and perhaps whatever we try to do as parents just doesn't matter if they are incompatible personalities! We try our best. My ds has been really cute coming up to me and saying 'baby kiss' then kissing my tummy! I'm trying to instil love and gentleness with his baby brother or sister already! Have a good night.x

tiny sorry! she just sounds like she has too many problems and isn't interested in fixing anything. Perhaps she's just lazy? Whatever it is, her reaction isn't normal; whereas your concern for her and care for her is. Take pride that you are kind and affectionate and setting a good example for your children.

Currently my youngest sister is also acting like drama queen. Both my sisters live in our home and both of them have chores to do. Youngest Sister is supposed to walk the dog every morning at 7:30am--which she never does and after waiting around for 6 months I raised my voice to her today and she's given me the biggest attitude I have ever seen. I've asked her to leave. I really hope she actually does. I really despise her problems and her inability to be a good human being towards herself and others.

Queen - thanks for your kind words. She is very self-obsessed and I think the sooner I accept that the better. I keep telling myself I should just keep my distance then I won't get hurt, but its easier said than done when it's family. Sorry to hear your sister is also acting like a spoilt brat! How old is she? My sister is 33! You would think she'd be over the spoilt brat phase, but apparently not. Mind you, I was acting like a spoilt brat myself the other night when dh refused to go to the 24 hour Tesco to get me the fudge I was craving! You sound like you are having to be mum to your sister as well and I hope through time she realises how much she should appreciate your generosity and kindness.x

Ha - I have made quite a few emergency demands like your fudge request tiny, had to stop myself expressing horror and disappointment when DH came back with the wrong flavour ice cream after a late night mission!

It's a shame, but your sis does sound self absorbed. And like you say tiny, she probably is jealous of you and holds back on intimacy because she thinks she doesn't measure up. Maybe she's struggling, but really doesn't want you to see it? Sad, because if she could show you she was vulnerable, needing help, wanting to be close and share things you sound like you would be super supportive. It's her loss unfortunately, you sound lovely.

queen - can't believe your sisters live in your home and one still behaves like that! The cheek! I hope you can call on some serious babysitting favours, plus cooking etc if they end up staying. There's got to be something in it for you too!

I went to a preg yoga class last week, but apart from that no special pregnancy exercise. I do regular yoga still, and cycle a bit, but I know what you mean tiny - I wouldn't have the energy to go to any evening classes.

Potty training sounds so tiring! I'm already shattered by the amount of laundry we have, and I have a very relaxed approach to folding (not) and putting away (after its sat in a pile for a while)

TBH the older of the two sisters is pretty good. She still lucks out for having me as a sister but my goodness--this youngest sister is not worth having around.

She is everything I don't want in a daughter. I hope that my daughter never lets what others think of her take precedent over what she thinks of herself. I hope my daughter is genuine and able to care for herself and others, I hope my daughter is fair and kind, I hope she is never as materialistic as my sister is. My youngest sister is 20; and if she continues on her path she'll be one very pathetic and lonely woman who is willing to take any scraps of attention from anyone who is willing to throw it at her.

I've done a big online shopping order (DD is 2 tomorrow so we're having a party on sat) and they'll be delivering some alcohol free beers. I'm looking forward to having a sunny evening with a couple of beers tonight, hope they're not too horrible. I've also been craving margaritas (!) which is crazy cos I probably haven't had one in 10 years. Not sure I can satisfy that desire while preg though.