A sort of stream of consiousness

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I’ve been debating if I wanted to type this out today. Apparently I’ve decided to, so here goes –whatever the consequences–…

Sometimes I muse that people are secretly thinking I am not a very good wife, that I don’t take good enough care of B, that I don’t work enough to help pay the bills, the house isn’t ever clean enough, and that I’m entirely too lazy. Then I figure out that sure, maybe others are thinking that, but mostly it’s just me thinking it myself. One would think I would do something about it, so why don’t I? I do not have an answer for that one, other than the fact I’m lazy 😦 Where do I find the motivation to improve? Where do I get the “old me”? Do I go back in time, kidnap her and suck out the essence of her motivation and inject it into the “now” me?

Sometimes I fight with being “depressive”, I know I don’t have any right to feel that way because my life is pretty good — loving husband, nice part time job with cool co-workers, cats that let me know they want me around when I have treats :p, so I don’t know why/what triggers it, just that sometimes I don’t feel like I’m good enough and it kind of just goes from there.

Sometimes I feel like I’m a very large baby who can’t keep emotions in check or react to “hurts” in an adult manner. Some people develop a thick skin, I’m not one of them.

There’s my post that people might think “Why would she post that? That’s not appropriate!”, but I guess it’s my blog and I can type what I want to, so hopefully someone can identify with it instead of tripping over it. *shrug*

Also, I got some ceramic ducks today from my mom. I might put them in the China Hutch.. it’s probably the safest place for them right now.

Today was my 4th day at the new job. I learned how to put in test scores and a few other things in the system they use. Almost the whole day was used up learning how to do it, then a little practicing putting in some scores (when I got back to my building after training), and doing my sexual harassment training.. or rather, NOT sexual harrassing 🙂 There is a giant binder to read to get certified to proctor another kind of test, and I want to read the manual they gave me on the system to get it in my head for future use 🙂 I work Saturday mornings, and starting Monday, I go to the evening schedule so I won’t have to get up in the morning for work except for Saturdays and if I happen to fill in for someone somewhere 🙂

I started my new job yesterday. I think it went pretty well. I’ve figured out how to get some of the tests ready, still working on figuring out others and the other stuff we do there. On Thursday, I go to another building and get trained on how to use one of the programs on the computer, so that’s cool. V left me semi-alone (the other full time employee was there, so I wasn’t completely out of luck if I didn’t know how to handle something) and I think I did alright.. except for sending a guy in with a sheet of paper I was supposed to keep :-0 It’s ok… it wasn’t anything he wasn’t allowed to look at, I just needed it for paperwork purposes.. so when I couldn’t find it on the desk, we looked in the testing area and it was sitting next to him, so I popped in and snagged it right quick 🙂

Someday, I’ll be able to juggle everything.. I just need to get it down to a routine 🙂

I got off work at 2pm and walked myself home. Stopped at the bank for more quarters in case I wanted to take the bus and noted my face was kind of frozen… so tomorrow…. Scarf! (or 2)

Got home, checked the mail and gave the felines treats. They were pretty super happy about that. I think I’ll make some lunch for me 🙂 Walking home (1.5 miles) from work is my unofficial exercise program.

Today my Bub-cat threw himself on my face.. I think he decided it was either time for me to get up, or time for me to pet him.. I’d already been up to feed them earlier (and give out treats), so I went with option 2 and he seemed very happy.

I start my new job on Monday. Someone called and told me to come in at 10am. So.. first day will be 10a to 2p.. I hope they are ready to teach me things (like how to clock in, log into the computers, and do the job)! Yes, it’s part time. That’s what I’m starting with :p

Last night I made some elbow mac noodles with a can of mixed veggies and cream of chicken soup. I was planning to go to the freezer and get the meatballs out to add, but I didn’t feel like it, so it was meatless noodle stuff. I think it was pretty good. I also added mashers (mashed potatoes) to the mix! I have some chicken thawing in the fridge for today. Planning to go to the store tomorrow for more lunchmeat for B. KitKit wants to tell everyone hello… He’s the little orangey moocher-baby in a picture from a previous post.

NaTasha is still doing 31 if anyone is looking to find a nice gift for a friend or family member. She also likes it when people do parties, so check her page out and give her a shout if you like parties. https://www.mythirtyone.com/natashagall?verify=true

This is her fb page, you can request to join if you’d like: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1404438306481583/

I found this one while reading through my news feed, it has an idea of how to find your dog if he/she’s lost for a while: http://www.reshareworthy.com/how-to-find-a-lost-dog/#9EKAEAHjpceSOwu3.01

Wow! Someone bought my book! Does that mean I’m a published AND selling author now? Thanks to whoever bought it I do hope you like it! http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/hayesis

Other than that.. today I went to sit with some kids (they were sleeping, so it was super easy..), then to the college to update the payroll information to direct deposit. A friend from my bookstore days works in the same building as Payroll, so I stopped in for a visit with her, then of stopped to see mom, then I came home and watched a show with B before he had to go to work.

Opened a couple windows–makes for some happy kitties!

I think the pot roast I made yesterday turned out pretty good 🙂

…now I’ll have to go to the store or some other stuff to throw together when that runs out… darn having to eat..

Today I went to the college and filled out the paperwork for the new job. Waiting on the background check now…

After the paperwork and visiting mother, I went to Aldi’s and picked up a few things.. milk, carrots, cheese puffs, and cereal. It was like $4.

Cooked a pot roast in the crock pot that I love so much 🙂 I also love my husband so much, but it might be a tie…

Pot roast contents: Butt roast (hehe), carrots, hash browns because they are little pieces of potato and I didn’t have any regular full sized potatoes to cut up.. Also some green beans frozen from the garden harvest last sping/fall.