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Thursday, July 19, 2012

First off, that's not true about Simon Pegg, I just said that to be sensationalistic.

Second, yes, we're doing this again. I can't help myself and I'm pretty much mad at both sides again. The only one I'm totally fine with is Mr. Simon Pegg who I thought did his best without resorting to name calling. Why am I doing this again? CAUSE I'M DRUNK! It's all after the jump. I want to start by talking about what makes me angry. I guess so that trolls everywhere can bait me with a handy checklist. I don't like it when one person speaks for a group unless that person is a duly elected spokes person. Even then I'm not really comfortable with it. You don't speak for me, even if I agree with you, you don't speak for me. You don't know my motivations or reasoning so you can't speak for me.

People who have a victim complex. They act like victims, things happen to them or are done to them and they have no control and nobody can truly understand the depths of their pain. The pain which they remind you of constantly. They have no ownership of their actions or the consequences of those actions.

People who take it upon themselves to do something for a group when no one asked them to do it and then martyr themselves in the process. People who either act like they're okay with something but speak for the silent majority ("You know I don't care but a lot of people do & I speak for all of them") or someone who behaves indignant & appoints themselves angry avenger of all those oppressed/offended. Cause they have the balls no one else does & have been pushed too far.

So let's get on with this. The whole thing is here but I'll break it down.

First off we start with this:

What is UP with comedians this week? Did they get a "hey, dudes, let's all be douchey about women!" memo?

No. It wasn't just comedians. It was all men. And we get the memo everyday. Also that's right, you and you alone represent every woman on the planet. I do not envy your position, that's a lot of responsibility, to be the lone Representative of an entire gender as well as arbiter of good taste.

Alright, I can interpret that as a little objectifying. If I'm looking for something to be offended by I can find it. Objectively, assuming those ladies are there of their own free will and have not been kidnapped by Simon Pegg, he's complimenting some good looking ladies dressed in revealing costumes. I say despite my well documented feeling on Slave Leia cosplay.

Here is Courtney Stoker's (who describes herself as a immoral, gay-loving femenist, I mention this because the way she takes offense to everything is clearly accurate to her self description) response:

This kind of attitude is really common and really destructive. It reduces cosplayers down to objects, and suggests that they are NOT fellow geeks, but actually decoration. They are only there to serve as fantasy fodder for male geeks. You know, the actual PEOPLE in this equation. (A good sign you're objectifying women: you're comparing them to food.) It's gross. So I told him so.

Hey, I took a college feminist class too! I would agree that that attitude is destructive but I know of no one who speaks like that (objectifying or misogynistic) in a genuine way. On the rare occasions someone utters such nonsense it's in an ironic way. And people who think that way sincerely aren't going to change without major help (which they won't get) or listen to anybody about it. You could argue that even ironic is destructive, however, you'd be wrong. But I'm glad you took upon yourself to come to the rescue of a bunch of people you don't know. This is how she told him:

OMG @simonpegg, that is gross. Cosplayers do not actually exist to fulfill your sexual fantasies. #cosplay

Let's hashtag the shit out of this, make sure the whole cosplay community, who didn't as for your opinion, will forever know about this. On Twitter. Via hashtags. You know I use hashtags but I never look anything up by them.

finally this:

You may think you're being funny, @simonpegg, but you are objectifying geek women & discouraging more from identifying as geek. #cosplay

Here's the thing: "sexuality" is not about objectifying women. Actual sexuality is *being sexual.* Drooling over cosplay women, calling them "girls," and suggesting that their fandom and cosplaying are just there to get you off? That's not sexuality. That's just you being gross.

Arbiter of taste ladies and gentleman, teller of truths and avenger of the wronged. The next Gloria Steinem.

I've got to take a break and talk about the whole objectification thing. The easiest way to avoid being objectified is to not make yourself an object. "But Fancy," you say because we're friends & my friends call me Fancy "But Fancy, I like to dress sexy I should be able to wear my v-neck jeans that show my ball cleavage free of judgement or consequence." yes and I would like my cake & a million dollars. And to eat all the cakes. And to be thin. It's about actions and consequences and the fact that actions have consequences. Whether those consequences are good or bad, justified or not, morally right or wrong, legal or illegal, ideal or not is totally irrelevant. Every action has consequence and if you can't accept the reality of the consequence then you shouldn't perform the action. That is self awareness, that is self responsibly. That, as she says, is agency. I know this because I also took a college psychology class along with my college feminism class.

You can dress sexy but someone, somewhere will judge you & mentally turn you into an object. News flash, male or female (although probably happens more to females) even if you don't dress sexy, even if you go out of your way to be as unsexy as possible, if you leave the house or talk to anybody at some point you will be objectified. So other people is objectification. It's not cosplay or gender related. Therefore it's up to individual if they, personally, are okay with being objectified. Do they have the self confidence to know that they are more than the object people may think them to be? Do they want the attention that comes with some level of objectification? Are they actual three dimensional people and not a series of other peoples thoughts stapled to cliche? If they aren't then they shouldn't put themselves in that role & they shouldn't project their thoughts, feelings & emotions about that role onto others.

This is a valid point. No one invited any of you into this conversation. None of this was aimed at you and none of the people it was aimed at said anything, to my knowledge. They didn't need to be rescued, they did not ask for your help, they did not ask to be avenged. No parade was needed and no protest called for. You put yourselves out there of your own volition at the behest of nobody but your own personal crusade.

But Danya makes a good point when she says that she only looks geeky or sexy for herself. That's really the only reason you should do anything like that. But you can only control you, you can't control anyone else. What other people say, do or think is a reflection of them not on you.

Let's wrap this thing up:

And that's the story of how Simon Pegg had a chance to apologize for offending a bunch of lady geeks and instead chose to be a douchebag.

A bunch is now quantified as 3? If he's a douchebag then you're a bitch. I think if you feel justified to call him that after looking at what he said then I feel justified in calling you a derogatory name as well. PRO-TIP: It's a good sign you're objectifying someone when you refer to them as, you know, actual objects.

UPDATE: I'm getting inundated with harassment and abuse from Pegg fans now. Excellent. I'm also in Twitter jail, so I have to say it here: Thank you to all the folks who are tweeting me love and support. Being called things like a twat and a cunt for this exchange, and being told to kill myself, and etc. It's been stressful and I feel a little sick about the misogyny in a community I'm supposed to belong to. Every nice tweet has made it better. Thank you.

Alright, I can't abide that. If you want to criticize then do it somewhat intelligently. At least this is a point by point recollection, there's a shit ton of editorializing, but it at least involves what she's saying and there's no threat to life and limb or mindless, childish name calling (all my mindless and childish name calling is to prove a point). Simon Pegg doesn't care about you as an individual, he may appreciate you as a fan, but he won't see your bullying and go "That person loves me and I shall love them back and shower them with money." She shouldn't kill herself. She's not a twat or cunt. I feel I can, without basis or without reason, call her a bitch only once, only because she used the same logic to call someone else a douchebag. But she's free to her opinion and this is the internet so she's free to voice it. I'm free to voice criticism of everyone involved and anyone's free to call ME on MY bullshit.

Bottom line is this, Courtney Stoker was looking for trouble. She was looking to be offended and looking for a fight. So she found one, there's no other reason to do something like this (attack a celebrity for a pretty innocent, off hand statement). There was no leading questions, there was no attempt at discourse, no attempt at understanding or relating. There is but it's mostly used for guilt. It just looks, to me, like a sudden attack. Simon defended himself, rather mildly, before going to apologetic and then finally refusing to feed the fire. He apologized and explained himself, two things he didn't owe anybody. The high road was clearly taken by him.

To finally conclude this. You may draw parallels to this and my last TCAY! and accuse me of sexism because people seemed to think I was defending that guy over Gail Simone. I wasn't. I was standing on my soapbox and casting aspersions at everyone involved. That dude, whatever his name was, was not a good dude but he was somewhat forgivable due solely to the fact he did what he did in the course of his job. That only makes it better in the sense that he wasn't acting on some bullshit agenda or personal vendetta. He wandered into a bear cave and got properly mauled for his trouble. That makes everyone in that incident even Steven despite every one coming out covered in shit. So I just gave you one. If you want to accuse me of that that's fine. Just so happens both these things involve a man, a woman, supporters on both sides acting like dick hats and one side clearly shooting first. I try to call it like I see it and when I see bullshit, especially in the vein of the things that fill my rage meter I have to vent before I eat a hat out of anger and frustration. Even if it is on my crappy blog. Alright, Fancy 'Pool out! *drop's mic, get's off soapbox*