mental health

I read this tweet (a screenshot of it actually) from Childish Gambino the other day that summed up pretty much how I was feeling.

It was a tweet about our generation and how we basically are cold hearted. Girls are scared to love and boys don’t show their feelings. So we end up putting up these giant walls to protect ourselves from falling in love, showing our true feelings and being honest with ourselves.

Truth be told, I go there too often myself. Sometimes I just say, “You know what? Fuck feelings! I’m no longer giving fucks.” Because people and life in general can get you to that point.

But then we can get so accustomed to not caring and not giving a damn about things and not feeling things we are supposed to feel. We push our feelings deep down inside us. We actually miss out on feeling the right way at a particular moment because we have become so used to not feeling things. We want to feel the good and not feel the bad yet it’s part of being human.

I have done that a few times in the name of “hiding my feelings from people.” I did not want to show my feelings in front of people I felt were not supposed to see my vulnerability. So I ‘postponed’ that feeling for some other time. Worst.idea.ever.

When I confronted the feeling later in private, something terrible happened. Many other feelings I had supressed previously, on diffetent occassions and I had completely forgotten about, resurfaced, all at once. They literally came back to bite me in the ass. It.was.ugly.

I had a mental breakdown for like half an hour. Imagine a mixture of emotions from everywhere attacking you and you do not know how to feel? I just cried for 30 minutes from all the confusion. Thank God I was alone and I managed to get my shit together.

I am officially working on owning my feelings now because that breakdown was crazy to the core. I thought I was going insane!

I think we become honest with ourselves when we actually own our feelings and allow ourselves to feel in the moment. This is so important for mental health and happiness.

Life is too short to not feel!

Catch feelings sometimes, give fucks, own your feelings but do not ignore them.