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Fernando Torres 'set records' in AC Milan medical

I promise that we won't be paying that much attention to Chelsea loanee Fernando Torres -- at this point I think everyone can agree the poor bloke could do with a rest from pretty much everyone even remotely associated with the club. But there are some things that simply cannot avoid comment, and that includes the fact that Pippo Inzaghi apparently thinks he's one of the greatest signings in AC Milan's storied history:

Inzaghi claimed yesterday that Torres "set records for agility and explosiveness that no Milan player had ever matched" during his medical.

— Paolo Bandini (@Paolo_Bandini) September 1, 2014

It's difficult to look at that one without suspecting that Milan are going a bit Pravda, but giving them the benefit of the doubt I think we can all be pleased that they're so happy with their shiny new toy. May it all work out very well for them and other such shiny sentiments -- with a quote like that it sounds like he's about ready to set Italy on fire.