Age is just a number

So far in 2011, I’ve had only one major meltdown at the sheer audacity and lack of respect offered by my fellow man in this town. That’s the whole problem. While I could attempt to analyze the scenario and go over the events and details with a fine toothed comb which would probably be tedious, extremely boring, and only serve me to suffer through the pain and hypertension all over again. Dull read, and it’s not worth the heart attack.

So far, this year has been relatively quiet in my world. In the world at large, however, there has been a lot of things happening, from birds and fish suddenly dieing, to senators being shot, to electric lime green coloured rivers reminiscent of the green slime used on “You Can’t Do That On Television” In fact it’s been a rather busy week for Mother Nature, as well as a few loud and obnoxious crazy people with guns. So far 2011 isn’t turning out very well in American states that begin with the letter “A.”

Next week I turn 35. As the date draws closer I find myself more and more apprehensive about it. All kinds of thoughts have been buzzing through my head, such as: “I’m 35 now. What have I accomplished?”, “Why don’t I have a wife and children?”, “Do I even want a wife and children?”, “Where’s my ten billion dollars, my mansion and exotic car collection?”, “Why haven’t I had any of that stuff in years?”, “Why don’t I want any?”, “What kind of liquor do I want at the party?” etc.

Actually, I found a cool party to go to that happens to be on my birthday, January 15. I figure it’s better than trying to throw my own party, where four people show up, all guys, and most wanting to go to the other party, and they’d likely convince another friend who might likely try to do something incredibly stupid in a way to kill the buzz and make the day royally suck. I’d prefer to have a very good time on my birthday weekend, thank you very much. Instead I’ve got a party for charity, The Montreal International Auto Show, and then, if I still have the energy, a concert of folk music, I think.

Another problem I’ve noticed is that my endurance levels aren’t quite where they used to be. I’m told that these next few years are difficult ones as I approach the summit of life, only to go speeding down at an alarming rate, ending with frailty, senility, and general elderliness. I don’t want to get old, and yet I feel old much of the time. I have many friends who are much older than me, who consider me a mere spring chicken, to recycle an overused cliché, telling me, “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!” I hope they are both right and wrong by saying that.

I hope this year brings me love, luck, prosperity and health. I hope this coming year’s adventures exceed those of previous years. I hope that the various projects I’m directly and indirectly involved with have great success, including: Alien AWOL and Forget The Box. This is my first rant of 2011. I’m almost another year older, and while I do believe that age is only a number, I will definitely accept any birthday gifts that you send up my way. Thank you.

Laurence Tenenbaum was born in Montreal, and has been involved in many areas and various scenes including but not limited to,the Montreal Music scene, the Montreal Spoken Word / Poetry scene, the Montreal Visual Art scene and has attended many automotive shows.
While he should a happy and well-adjusted individual, with a combination of ADD, Gout, A type "A" personality, and the massive tonnage of BS dumped onto him on a constant basis often makes him seem angry and irritable. However he's usually correct in his frustrations, especially when they're directed at assorted things that aggrivate him and many other people too. he therefore brings you "Laurence Rants," a chance to vent his and all our collective frustrations. so if something frustrates, irritates or just plain confuses him, and he thinks other people can relate to it, it just might end up in one of Laurence's Rants.
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-- The opinions expressed in Laurence's Rants are the views of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of Forget the Box Media, Its sponsors, or anyone else.