He’s on fire… no he isn’t… yes he is! The Will Grigg Wikipedia Edit Wars

Beatlemania, Henmania and Pottermania. All genuine crazes of generations long past, but nowhere near as widespread as the Griggmania rapidly infecting our planet via those there burning Internet tubes.

When an association football player’s Wikipedia page is constantly being wiped and replaced with the text ‘HES ON FIER NANANANA’, you know you’ve stumbled upon a highly marketable and unmistakably contagious meme.

(To be sung to the tune of ‘Will Grigg’s On Fire, Your Defence Is Terrified’. Na na na.)

Plop Gear

It’s the question on all Daily Mail readers’ lips: just what is that petrol guzzling nincompoop Jeremy Clarkson doing these days? Well, AGL can now exclusively reveal the definitive answer.

Starved of a creative outlet after being shunted from Top Gear, Clarkie took to t’internets wearing only a pair of underpants and sellotaped glasses to churn out some daring new concepts. The result of such a brainstorming session? I think it’s quite evident that Will Grigg is the new Stig:

“some say Will Grigg is on fire and that you’re defence is terrified as a result” (Revision)

A history lesson

“The creator of the original chant, a man named Kenno himself, Sean Kennedy, has been celebrating Will Grigg and many other Wigan players in his videos, which are no doubt a big hit with the club and became very widespread, becoming as big of a hit as Leicester winning the premier league and David Beckham having a can of Coke.” (Revision)

See, you can’t add conjecture to a Wikipedia article. This particular editor’s use of the ‘weasel’ phrase ‘no doubt’ triggered the immediate takedown of an otherwise well-researched, referenced and formatted statement. At times like this I remember why I hate Wikipedia policy.

Will Grigg está en llamas

“Did you remember the Typhoo, love? Griggsy’s coming over for brekkie tomorrow…”

“Luis Suarez has been quoted as saying that he sees Grigg as a ‘mentor’, and that they regularly swap tactics over a top morning brew, (2 sugars).” (Revision – beware rude words!)

You’d think the quantification of sugar lumps would be enough to bamboozle the censors with numbers, but Peter Kay’s edit remained in place for only five hours. Probably because the original source for this ‘fact’ was a comic strip in the Beano… that he edited with corrective fluid and an orange marker pen.

…And the rest?

Incidentally, at time of writing, the text “WILL GRIGGS ON FIRE YOUR DEFENCE IS TERRIFIED HI” has remained present on that page for 48 hours. Because it is undoubtedly true, and all Wikipedia administrators respect that fact.

A parting word from the ‘author’

As Will Grigg travels to France to participate in this summer’s European Championships for Northern Ireland, I shall leave you all with the following message:

[vc_message color="warning" message_box_color="warning" icon_fontawesome="fa fa-exclamation-triangle"]Vandalising Wikipedia articles is morally wrong and you should never even consider it. But if you do choose to deface the Free Encyclopedia, please don’t say you got the idea from me.[/vc_message]

And if you miscreants wish to edit Grigg’s article, you’ll have to wait a few months – it has been temporarily locked due to persistent vandalism. I hope you’re suitably proud of yourselves, you shameless trolls!

The views expressed on this site are those of biased northerners and should not be taken entirely seriously.
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