I am pretty sure that it is pushing 90 degrees outside and that the humidity is in that range too so the mean streets of NYC are most likely sweaty, smelly & hot, yet I am sure it is still more appealing than spending the next 90 minutes here in my hole of an office at the paycheck factory. Of course I can’t think of too many places that would be less appealing than my desk today especially since I have spent most of the day in a vain yet valiant attempt to avoid all semblance of work.

I have to jump on yet another airplane next week. I have flown more this year than I have in any other year since 2000 and let me tell you, the once glamorous life on the road is that no longer. There once was a time when people dressed up to get on airplane but no more. You get people in all states of disarray and some in what might even pass for their pajamas. Don’t even get me started on the people who insist on taking off their shoes. There once was a time when people checked their luggage and the boarding of a plane was quick & easy but no more. Now due to the incessant gouging by the airlines for checking luggage ($15 for the 1st bag, $25 for the 2nd – more $$$ for overweight or oversized) everyone is bringing on every piece of luggage they can wrangle no matter what the size. I swear people are jamming their children & their livestock into some of these bags and then they get pissed when they don’t fit in the overhead or when there isn’t any room and they have to gate check it thus making us late for our pushback so we miss our slot for takeoff and get to spend the next 45 minutes at # 32 in line.

I need to stop thinking about flying – I am getting more agitated and my usually pathetic typing is getting even worse. I will rant some more from the road on Tuesday night.

Toques off to Chef Rick Bayless for winning the inaugural “Top Chef Masters”. If you didn’t want some kickass mexican food (and no I am not talking chalupas from taco bell) after he was done than something is very wrong with you. I bet Rick would destroy Bobby Flay now if they had a Iron Chef America rematch (Bobby beat Rick in 2005 in Battle Bison).

Speaking of Iron Chef for a moment – the chairman is going to be on Dancing With The Stars this fall – as if Kathy Ireland wasn’t enough of a reason for me to watch already.

and now back to Top Chef Las Vegas – at first glance it would seem to be not a bad collection of cheftestants. I like the chick from Philly that makes boys cry and I am pretty sure that I have eaten at the Woodfire Grill in Atlanta where the leprechaun that won the elimination challenge works. I am a bit surprised at the number & complexity of the tattoos on the cheftestants but I wasn’t surprised in the least that the Chile Relleno stuffed with dirt (or whatever it was) was the losing dish. Wolfgang Puck was a GREAT guest judge and I almost fell off the couch when he threw the bacon donut across the room.

Speaking of reality shows on Bravo, Project runway came back last night but now it’s on Lifetime. Heidi Klum is still not of this world, Tim Gunn would still lose a fight to isaac Mizrahi and nobody still cares about Nina & Michael. that being said, I look forward to catching a repeat this weekend just to see what kind of hot messes they dug up.

No comment on real Housewives of Atlanta other than they have to be really ashamed of themselves in the Peach State.

Speaking of fruit, I picked up some Sweet Cherry Syrup & some Blackberry Grilling Sauce while I was in Spokane earlier this week and I also got some Marionberry Vinaigrette & some Marionberry Pepper Jelly while I passed through Portland. (Marionberry is a fruit ? I thought it was a crack addicted, ho banging, washed up politico) I can’t wait to cook with all of them. It also brought the number of spices, sauces & whatnot up to 162 on my shelves in the kitchen.

Speaking of food, I went to go visit the candy machine from the 6th Circle of Hell earlier today and it is still a huge disappointment. One chocolate bar and it was a Mounds.

The sky was blue when I started typing and now it is turning black – no it didn’t take me that long to type – the predicted thunder & lightning storms are coming in just in time for me to start to head for the train. Oh Happy Happy Joy Joy. (was that Ren & Stimpy ?) Oh and speaking of old TV shows, Hulu has added Season 5 of Moonlighting. Why ? The show was crap by then. I want Season 1 & 2 or no seasons at all. I want to see Bruce Willis with real hair.

Well I have wasted enough of your time & mine. No refunds without the proper forms filled out in triplicate. The gators are on summer vacation but I expect them all back after Labor Day so those of you that did somehow manage to stop by accidentally or on purpose can say & do as you please without any repercussions.

and that’s the view for now from Behind The Shades….swampy abides

(trying out new endings since someone else beat me to my old blog title)