]]>I mean, if Denny’s offered “Breakfasts for mouthbreathers,” then you would be a mouthbreather if you ordered off that menu, no?

Apparently Denny’s customers aspire to be Hobbits, because the psuedo-diner has put a whole slew of grotesquely named breakfast items on the menu. Rather than describe them for you, I’ll just offer you a look:

Looks pretty damn, hearty, no?

What’s amazing about this marketing campaign is that these all appear to be fine food items. Food items that don’t need to be rebranded as something like “Shire Sausage” so that I’m thinking about Elijah Wood‘s penis while eating breakfast. Well, at least more than I already do.

So post up at your local Denny’s on Nov. 6th to feast on these curiously-named items. To see a full list, check out the A.V. Club’s post right here. And save a ring burger for me!