Beard Farmer Bares AllOregon Live | Submitted by: msslegsxr
"George mindlessly handed memory cards to the father until he reached one card. George began to panic, saying, "No, no, no," as pornographic images of the man's 5-year-old daughter appeared on the screen." [Mugshot]

Ordering Child Porn From A .MILUpshot | Submitted by: vicblower
"In a reversal, the Pentagon says it will reopen hundreds of cases of alleged purchases of child pornography by Department of Defense employees that Pentagon officials previously declined to investigate... Project Flicker began in 2006 as an Immigration and Customs Enforcement investigation targeting overseas processing of payments for online subscriptions to child porn websites... Some of the clients used .mil e-mail addresses; ICE forwarded these 264 on to DCIS, but only 52 were investigated before closing the project."

DA Sex-Texts Battered BabesWire Services | Submitted by: hippityhopp
"R u the kind of girl that likes secret contact with an older married elected DA... the riskier the better? ... I would not expect you to be the other woman. I would want you to be so hot and treat me so well that you'd be THE woman! R U that good?"

Campers Get The Fat Raped Out Of ThemThe Local DE | Submitted by: whatsnew74
"German state prosecutors are investigating reports of rape and sexual abuse among children who were spending several weeks at a weight-loss clinic on the posh North Sea island of Sylt... The game "spin-the-bottle" allegedly degenerated into forced anal sex with coke bottles and broom handles."

David Carradine Sighting at LAXLos Angeles Times | Submitted by: MikeAcidECW
"A man whose head was covered in a bag and whose hands were bound was found dead Wednesday morning in a restroom at Terminal 3 at Los Angeles International Airport."

Ex-Cop's Green Boys Do His BiddingSyracuse Post-Standard | Submitted by: lord redpubes
"The conspiracy charge involved allegations that he sold marijuana to numerous youths and had some of them sell marijuana for him to their friends during the period from June to September 2009... The conspiracy count also accused him of sexually molesting the two boys in exchange for providing them with marijuana, cigarettes and alcohol."

Stoners Embrace Omega-3Irish Times | Submitted by: Vomit
"Prof Roger Pertwee of the University of Aberdeen has also discovered a way to dial, either up or down, the body’s response to cannabis and other substances that chemically act the same way in the body." [Intriguing but no details]

Last Chance To Hot-BoxPioneer Local | Submitted by: merrillvillain
"When they asked Lyles-Dawson to step out of the car, he refused, locked the door, rolled up the window and repeatedly refused officer's requests to get out of the vehicle... When police were finally able to convince Lyles-Dawson to leave the car, he reportedly said, "I smoke weed. There's no weed in the car because I smoked it all."

FDA #1: DXM Should Not Require PrescriptionMedPage Today | Submitted by: ditchley
"An FDA advisory panel voted 15 to 9 on Tuesday against recommending that dextromethorphan -- the active ingredient in many common cough medicines -- be classified as a controlled substance... Since the drug was last looked into in 1992, there has been an increasing number of reports of adolescents "robo-tripping" -- taking 10 to 20 times the usual dose to achieve a euphoric, zombie-like high, but the majority of members felt the abuse problem wasn't widespread enough."

FDA #2: Lardass, By Any Other NameNew York Times | Submitted by: Dic Phatphuck Jayney
"The public perception of high-fructose corn syrup as unhealthful has prompted many food companies to stop using it in their products... The FDA has six months to respond to the name-change petition. If the agency accepts it, the decision on whether to allow the name "corn sugar" on food labels may take another 12 to 18 months... Ms. Erickson, President of Corn Refiners Association, said. "This is a classic case for consumers to better understand an ingredient."

Narco Saint Leads To Blow BonanzaChicago Sun-Times | Submitted by: merrillvillain
"About 8 p.m. Saturday, the officers stopped to check why the Camry was parked the wrong way on the road leading to the sheriff's office, when they noticed a statue of Jesus Malverde on the dash. The driver was unlicensed, the passenger nervous... The officers found 50 kilograms of cocaine -- with a street value of $19.3 million -- in the trunk."

Maggots Nom Pensioner's Eye SocketPalm Beach Post | Submitted by: Vomit
"John Stumpp had been under the care of Gainesville Health Care Center when the maggots were found in an examination at a Veterans Administration facility... An overall one-star rating from AHCA places the nursing home in the bottom 20 percent of nursing homes in its region."

Home Invaders Hold Nutmeg Family BBQCNN | Submitted by: greenpotatosoup
"Petit fell asleep in the sun room while reading the Sunday paper. The next thing he remembers, he said, was "thinking or feeling ow, ow, ow!" as blood ran from a gash on his head... For the most part "it was very quiet" while he was trapped in the basement, but at one point he heard "three loud noises, like someone was raping 20- or 30-pound sacks on the living room floor."

Argentines Masturbate Cattle For Fun, ProfitReuters | Submitted by: Rev. Bishop Lucille Poofter, (sspx)
"Exports of bovine semen have increased ten-fold in the last decade, in part thanks to the devaluation of the peso after the 2001/02 economic crisis... During regular "harvests", workers whisk away the semen of bulls like Montecristo in plastic containers before the animals get the chance to mount the cows paraded before them... "It's not dangerous. The bulls are used to it... A dose from a Palermo bull can fetch $50."

Disney Muzak Triggers EpilepsyMSNBC | Submitted by: anonymous
"Certain sounds -- barking dogs, the clash of cymbals and a song by the alter ego of celebrity offspring Miley Cyrus -- all trigger seizures in the girl, making her body shake and jerk forward."

Fancy A Ride On The Baloney Pony?Allentown Morning Call | Submitted by: bascha
"Allentown police arrested a 41-year-old man Monday for exposing himself to a woman in the parking lot of a south Allentown grocery store and then following her through the store's aisles asking her what she thought about his size."

HD Video Encryption Master Key Cracked?Engadget | Submitted by: ditchley
"Just as the MPAA is preparing to offer movies to customers at home while they're still in theaters by limiting playback to DRM-protected digital outputs only, the HDCP protocol they rely on may have been cracked wide open. All devices that support HDCP, like Blu-ray players, have their own set of encryption keys. If keys for a particular device are compromised, they can be revoked by content released in the future which will then refuse to play... Yesterday, a supposed "master key" was published, which renders that protection unusable since it allows anyone to create their own source and sink keys."

Neurotic AmericaNewsweek | Submitted by: annidez
Prescience of the founders, in this case James Madison, revealed in the explosion of the post-9/11 national security state: "Of all the enemies to public liberty war is, perhaps, the most to be dreaded, because it comprises and develops the germs of every other... In war, too, the discretionary power of the executive is extended and all the means of seducing the minds, are added to those of subduing the force of the people. No nation could preserve its freedom in the midst of continual war."

Dreamers Visualize Pope In HandcuffsDer Spiegel | Submitted by: Veggie
Professor Grayling, will you really try to arrest the pope when he comes to Britain this week? "If I got anywhere near him -- yes, I would like to try it. English law provides for the possibility of a citizen's arrest." But only if there is no doubt about the person's guilt, there is an imminent danger and there are no police around... "...and that probably won't happen. There's also only a very slight hope that we will succeed through legal proceedings. All in all I'd say: The chances of getting the Pope arrested this week are quite slim, unfortunately."

To Each Their OwnGuardian | Submitted by: bascha
The book review begins: "The first child sex scandal in the Catholic church took place in AD153, long before there was a "gay culture" or Jewish journalists for bishops to blame it on. By the 1960s, the problem had become so dire that a cleric responsible for the care of "erring" priests wrote to the Vatican suggesting that it acquire a Caribbean island to put them on... "Penalties" for raping children include such draconian measures as warnings, rebukes, extra prayers, counselling and a few months on retreat."

Please Pass The Pistol PleasePalm Beach Post | Submitted by: KneeDeepInTheDead
"Jenkins again said "he wanted to die." Angry and frustrated, his wife asked if he wanted his gun. After he said yes, she retrieved his trusty .22 and flipped it onto the sofa to him. When she turned to enter the kitchen, "she heard a single gunshot." [Wife charged with manslaughter!]

Arithmetic: Making Word Problems FunAustralian Broadcasting | Submitted by: JJ
"A Japanese primary school teacher has been reprimanded for giving his pupils a maths problem in which he asked how long it would take to kill 18 children at a rate of three murders a day."