Launching from the water with a primal thirst for man flesh, the mermaids snare their prey with a ferocious set of vampiric fangs that sink into the sumptuous skin of their victims, before pulling them beneath the water for a repulsive repast...

The week saw Captain Jack Sparrow make his way across the Caribbean (on a pair of sea turtles) to help nine-year-old pupil Beatrice Delap stage a 'mutiny' against the teachers at her school in Greenwich.