Applejack: Cutie Mark Crusaders, welcome to your new clubhouse. [silence] Well, don't thank me all at once. This was my clubhouse when I was your age. Sure it hasn't been used in a while, but it's empty and on a secluded, private part of the farm. And it's all yours. It just needs a little, uh... TLC.

Scootaloo: TLC as in Tender Loving Care or Totally Lost Cause?

Apple Bloom: Applejack! We're supposed to turn this into our new clubhouse?

Snips: ...And on the count of three, this rabbit will disappear, and something tasty will reappear in its place. A one, a two, and a three! Hey! Where are they? Snails, where are the... carrots. SNAILS!

Cheerilee: Uh, how about a round of applause for the S&S magic act? Now for our next act, we have Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie reciting their favorite poem... on roller skates!

Sweetie Belle: Break a leg!

Apple Bloom: Sweetie Belle! What a thing to say!

Sweetie Belle: No, no, no. You see, in the theater it's considered bad luck to say "good luck". So you say "break a leg" instead.

Twilight Sparkle: My little ponies! How are you doing?

Cutie Mark Crusaders: Nervous...

Twilight Sparkle: Don't worry. You're gonna be amazing. Remember, just stick to what you know best. I can't wait to hear you sing, Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle: Why does everypony always think I'm gonna sing?

Scootaloo: Actually, Twilight Sparkle, I'm the main singer tonight.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh?

Apple Bloom: And I'm the main dancer. Hi-ya!

Twilight Sparkle: Oh?

Sweetie Belle: And I'm in charge of...

Twilight Sparkle: Costumes?

Sweetie Belle: And sets and props. How'd you know?

Twilight Sparkle: Really, girls? Are you sure...?

Cheerilee: Cutie Mark Crusaders, you're on next. Break a leg.

Twilight Sparkle: Break a le—

Apple Bloom: Ugh!

Twilight Sparkle: Uh... good luck!

[Scootaloo]

Look, here, are three little ponies,

Ready to sing for this crowd,

Listen up, 'cause here's our story

I'm gonna sing it

[Cutie Mark Crusaders]

Very loud!

[Scootaloo]

When you're a younger pony

And your flank is very bare

Feels like the sun will never come

When your cutie mark's not there

So the three of us will fight the fight

There is nothing that we fear

We'll have to figure out what we'll do next

[Cutie Mark Crusaders]

'Til our cutie marks are here!

We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders

On a quest to find out who we are

And we will never stop the journey

Not until we have our cutie marks

[Scootaloo]

They all say that you'll get your mark

When the time is really right

And you know just what you're supposed to do

And your talent comes to light

But it's not as easy as it sounds

And that waiting's hard to do

So we test our talents everywhere

[Cutie Mark Crusaders]

Until our face is blue

We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders

On a quest to find out who we are

And we will never stop the journey

Not until we have our cutie marks

We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders

On a quest to find out who we are

And we will never stop the journey

Not until we have our cutie marks!

[crash]

[laughter]

Scootaloo: Wow. That did not go as well as I expected.

Apple Bloom: I can't believe they're laughin' at us.

Sweetie Belle: Was it that bad?

Cheerilee: Back on stage, girls. It's time for the awards.

Sweetie Belle: Back on stage? No.

Apple Bloom: They'll just laugh some more.

Scootaloo: Yeah, what's the point?

Cheerilee: Now girls, let's be good sports. You made a great effort. You should be proud. Now come on!

Cheerilee: Let's hear it for all our talented fillies and colts.

[hooves stomping]

Cheerilee: Our first award goes to... Snips and Snails for best magic act.

Snips: Hey! Mine's at least shinier.

Snails: Well, mine's bigger.

Snips: Oh yeah, well... Well, mine is, um... heavier?

Cheerilee: The next award goes to... Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie for best dramatic performance.

Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie: [gasp]

Cheerilee: And finally, the last award of the night goes to... the Cutie Mark Crusaders!

Cutie Mark Crusaders: What?

Cheerilee: For best comedy act.

[ponies cheering]

Apple Bloom: Can you believe it? We won!

Scootaloo: I knew our act was awesome.

Sweetie Belle: You know what would be the best? If we won and we got our cutie marks.

Cutie Mark Crusaders: [moan]

Twilight Sparkle: Congratulations, ponies! Job well done.

Cutie Mark Crusaders: [sadly] Thanks, Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: Hey, you don't sound too excited.

Scootaloo: [sigh] We worked really hard and won a prize, but we still don't have our cutie marks.

Sweetie Belle: Which is the prize we really wanted.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, girls...

Apple Bloom: But we think we know why.

Sweetie Belle: Yes. We know why.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh? Tell me. I'd love to make a special report to the Princess.

Sweetie Belle: Well, maybe we were trying too hard.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes? And?

Scootaloo: And instead of forcing ourselves to do something that's not meant for us...