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Yeah, yeah, I can hear you.
A clothespin, you say, that a bit of wood of plastic with a tiny little
spring? The stuff in dollar stores from
here to Timbuktu?

Well, let me tell you, in the right hands that humble little
clothespin can be the stuff of (delightful) nightmares.

I was first introduced to the clothespins as part of nipple play. The thing with breast and nipple toys,
you see, is that so many of them are just, to be gentle, awful. Repurposed electrical clamps either come loose at exactly the wrong time or bite in exactly wrong way. In particular the latter, when one of those
little plastic tips comes off that protects your partner from the razor sharp
teeth. Ouch -- and not in a good way.

On the other end of the spectrum are the high-end toys, the
ones that have been designed by some skilled BDSM engineer for optimal breast
or nipple clampage. While many are
thoroughly excellent and do what they were designed to do, they are often on the pricey-side. Far too often, they are bought and then end up
either being neglected in the bottom of your play bag or passed along to someone
else - who also forgets about them in the bottom of THEIR play bag.

The thing is, it’s hard to judge how fun a tit toy can be
without using it - and for quite a bit of time.
Because of that, we can sometimes be seduced by looks and then let down
by any lack of real usefulness. This is
especially true for folks new to nipple play.
What they, and even many of us more “seasoned” players, need is a useful
little toy that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.

Once again, the title gives it away.

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Why Clothespins?

Clothespins come in a million different types: those with
teeth, those without, plastic, wood, and other materials. Personally, I try to find either the
basic wooden clothespin or plastic ones that either don’t have teeth or have
only very small ones.

The reason for this depends on what you want to do with
them. If you plan on pulling on a
clothespin, either with weights or through a zipper (more on that in a bit),
then I’d suggest the no-teeth variety as if you tug on a few of these types
then can actually tear the skin. Not
fun.

While we are on the subject of materials, do remember that the
benefit of plastic ones is that they can be sterilized - and so can be used for
more than one person. The wooden ones,
though, cannot. They really are a
one-person toy.

Why Do Clothespins Work So Well for Kinky Fun?

An interesting part of clothespins for kinky play is that they
often will hurt more coming off than going on.
The reason for this is that when applied, they cut off a tiny amount of
circulation to the skin, which then rushes back when they are removed. The longer you leave them, the more intense
the feeling when they come off.

As for where to put them…well, there’s practically no limit:
if you can pinch it, you can clothespin it.
That being said, placing them just anywhere on a person might be fun for the top, but more than a
few bottoms would find it more annoying than erotic.

Back to
personal preferences. Instead of leaping for the nipples, I follow the curve of
the breast: placing one clothespin after another until you create a fan of them. Your can even play them like a piano, tapping
them so that they move a tiny bit (which can be quite intense) or even knocking
them off completely. And, again, the
non-tooth varieties of clothespins are best for this.

Then you
can go toward the nipple. You don’t really
want to just snap them on. A good technique is to place the clothespin on the
nipple, but also keep it slightly open with your fingers. That way, you can slowly release it while
simultaneously judging your partner’s reaction.

For a first-time
clothespin person, I try to leave them on for no longer than maybe 30 seconds to
a minute. Even less depending on their
sensitivity. You can, after all, always
put them back on.

Zippers: Simple in Design & Execution. Serious in Sensation

And now we come
to Satan’s keyboard: zippers.

Zippers are so simple
in design, yet they can bring often bring even hardened pain lovers to their knees. All you need are four or five clothespins,
without teeth, and a length of string or cord.
Next, you weave the cord through the center of the clothespin (usually
through the spring). I recommend a knot
or even a bead between each one. Be sure to give yourself a good foot or even two at either end, and maybe even a loop
you can hang onto.

The way zippers
work is also simple. Just attach the
clothespins to your partner - again, the side of the breast is a good place - in a
neat little row. Wait a bit, for maxim
effect, and then take each end and give it a sure, quick pull: ideally pulling
them all off in one shot.

People on the
other end of a zipper have described it as a lighting bolt of sensation - or a
fucking rush, depending on how long the pins have been left on.

The reason for
only using four or five is that you want the pins to be pulled away as
perpendicular to the body as possible. While doing more
clothespins and yanking the cord from only one side can be more intense it
raises the risk that some of the clothespins might twist, break, and tear
your partner's skin. Again: ouch (and not
in a good way).

It you really
want to be evil (and I know you do), then make more than just one set of
zippers. Two, perhaps, for each breast,
one on each side of the nipple. That way
you can yank one set off, wait a bit, then continue with the rest to your
heart’s desire - and your partner’s so-delightful yells.

Clothespins and Genitals

Clothespins can
also be quite fun on genitalia. This
is where it is extra important to use the type without teeth: a bit of skin
being torn on the side of the breast is one thing, but having a divot of tissue
removed from a labia or the underside of a cock is quite another. For people with penis and testicles,
clothespins can be placed on the scrotum and the underside of the shaft or
even, depending on the person’s anatomy, the glans at the head. As these areas can be extremely sensitive
it’s important not to leave them clamped too long - at first, at any rate.

For people with
labia, clothespins can be placed … well, wherever they fit. Personally, I do not recommend placing them on the clitoris as
it can actually be damaged by excessive pressure - not to mention of a clothespin
is jerked away.

A Little Note About Playing Safe

As with
anything in the BDSM world, learning as much as possible about anything is not
just a good idea it is essential. If this is playful little piece has you excited to try clothespins, please don’t just
run out to the dollar store and get dozens and dozens of the wonderful little
devices. Instead, take
classes, read more articles, watch videos, test things out on yourself, and repeat and repeat and repeat
again and again - and THEN give it a shot.
One thing that is fantastic about clothespins, aside from their
affordability, versatility and intensity, is that they are an experience that
can, and should, be shared.

Right up there
with learning everything and anything--and always playing
with safety (emotionally as well as physically) in mind - a good top should know
what everything feels like.
Personally. So before you get all
demonically toppy with clothespins, put them on yourself and see how they feel
coming, going, and even zippered away.

Then you can
take the humble little clothespin out for a spin on other people: knowing not
only what they can do but how amazing they can truly be.