Saturday, June 30, 2007

Okay so i didnt get to take D's picture...tsk..forgot about it. Bugger..the 'should i leave..should i not leave' guy..alamak, make up your mind lah! I didnt see him around yesterday even though he still made his presence known via his call and his messages. Apparently he will still be around on Monday but I just leave it to the guy to tell us when is he really leaving...no seriously..as in REeeeAaaLLlly...leaving.

Well, yesterday was also the last day with my present team member and it had been a blast working with her. We joked a heck lot..tried to wear the same outfits on certain day..officially declared by our other colleagues as 'the twins' and we shared a lot of common thoughts with each other. She's just a simple laid back girl..which is so me too....and we shared about the same tastes in clothes..except her tendency to wear ALL black..haha..but it kinda influenced me too. Yes, pink is in storage. For now at least. Yesterday we shared a bar of chocolates in the morning and ate cup noodles in the afternoon and the school had a buffet and we shared food together but unfortunately, some of the pieces were not exactly nice to chew! She had no qualms about eating which remind me of the old me and loves mcdonald's fries. She said she is fine with anything as long as there is no orange flavour.

Plus she's pretty independent and has the tendency to figure things out on her own during work which is like me rather than quickly running off to some other people. And panicking. I did try to tell her too that we should not rely so much on other people and that we had to learn to work smart. And sometimes it can be quite an inconvenience like taking a late lunch just to finish up our work first and not taking a lift from D despite his offers which puzzled him at first. Feeling quite bad about it coz who knows, maybe she did want a lift at least to the interchange..I said sorry. It was not coz I was just being an idiot but D may have to go out of the way to send us But she understands and now can even offer her own suggestions rather than me being the only one always doing the decision making and they do make sense. Well, Im just human too and we all make mistakes or overlook so it's good to have someone who can offer a second opinion. Now Im proud of her coz she's getting more efficient than when she first started which she struggled to keep up a bit with me but now..she got around to it.

Well girl....I know I refused to say it even though you tried making me say it..haha...but yah, I will miss working with you.

We took a pic together but then...if I post it up here, she may disown me as a friend..haha..oh well. Looking forward to working with you again..if there is ever an opportunity! take care girl.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

So today is D a.k.a bugger's last day with us and tomorrow he will be off to another job. But to my knowledge, it is slightly different story. But when he was questioned by one of my colleagues..you know that kind of 'aunties'...he said that thursday (which is today) is his last day coz his so called new job is calling him to start work friday.But when I messaged him and told him I wouldnt 'bully' him into repairing the socket (which he was jokingly complaining he is from mechanical engineering..not electrical engineering!) if i knew he was leaving that time..he said that he is not sure yet. Im like 'what?!' And he told me not to tell anyone that he may or may not be leaving but just try out this job first. So if he's okay with it, then Monday I wont see him anymore. But pfft....judging from the kind of workload he had to do for this job, I doubt we will all be seeing him next Monday. When he found out from me that we were planning on getting something from him, he was like 'no!! what if Im still around..pai seh!' I said I dunno....I didnt say anything and who told him to tell the wrong person that he confirm leaving when in actual fact he was not sure yet! Then he was like..how?...I told him then no choice next week he has to wear a paperbag over his head..PLUS! He can always give the gift to me coz I dont mind taking it anyway..haha..He called me last night about 8 plus..which surprised me..and he asked if I knew the number of any of the members from a particular team. I was thinking..didnt i give him the other time...then he asked if I knew what school they are going to tomorrow coz apparently the previous school had been rescheduled and his schedule is not updated showing the new school. I didnt have the new copy too so I said I ask one of them and he told me to message him back. Then he asked me eh..why they are getting him a gift? Oh no..this again..I said I dunno..I didnt tell them anything even though I kept asking her if she was sure about it or not...then die die she was damn positive about it. SO now he will be embarassed if he didnt decide to take up this job and then come back to his current company. THen I said..I told you already what..wear a paperbag.Well, like I said..whatever his conclusion is, definitely he will take up the new job. If not, then..well, Im more than glad to provide him with a paperbag. ps: I may take his photo today for the sake of remembrance...and maybe put up on ebay or some online dating service.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

have to rely on my own skills to produce photos of my pre-pubescent crush. doesnt anyone like him and post his photos on the net for my easy retrieval!

anyway, at least I get to catch in good poses..with and without jacket...if I DIY..hee...

presenting..DJ Spike!!

him and his best mate..

hate her..

hate her face...

an enemy of his...wah this one ah..seriously got bad boy rep. check out those arms! well, not really well toned but who gives a damn now! the tattoos look oh so....*droolz*

confrontation with his best mate..but they made it up later..Sorry a bit the dark..too lazy to make changes coz choosing the right moments to snap photos take a lot of trial and error lah..so thats it..my pre pubescent crush..(is that how you spell pubescent anyway? haha..). If he's this cool, I dont mind if he's even ten years younger than me lah! heh..(taken from you tube)

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Sucks being broke...no seriously, it sucks big time. Apparently im not alone...even my partner was dead broke..haha. Just now we went around AMK Hub but before that we walked in Ang Mo Kio Central to find a place to eat and she didnt even stop to look at a shop and even commented that this shop..where they were selling very the cheap clothes...at even 3 bucks...were too 'expensive' for our state of being broke..haha..It was so pathetic that all we did was walk around in our heels looking oh so classy but actually dead broke in the Hub after lunch and drinking our bubble tea (apparently our favourite drink that we get once every week). Like earlier on, she didnt even stop to look inside the shop and just said, heck we should just do window shopping.Sadly, this will be the last week we will be working together and already my upcoming partner is annoying. She was like asking me how to go to the school for next Monday and I said I dont know coz I had not checked it out yet..let alone the schools for this week. But she took it like I didnt want to help her especially coz i asked her to stand away from my computer coz it was getting slow..haha...Then after few hours later she stood quite some distance away from me saying you dont want to help me..then I get lost how..something in that line..but she was not looking at me when she said that. ANyway I took it like she did and I didnt care..coz I know how she's like. Cant depend on me for directions when she herself had not checked it out. Oh man....Im forecasting next week will not be a good week! Drats...I want my old partner back!Anyhoo...nothing much happened in a big way today. Everything seemed monotonous with me forever thinking about how dead broke I am. Even though this week at least I will have some money but it will only be the end of the week. I cant survive that long!!!! Haiz............And I promise..I will get my life back on track. Yes apparently only money can make my world go round..haha...Oh yeah, no D story today. Dunno why lah but I think Im getting a bit sick of writing about him already haha...well, just that today he wore his own shirt for the first time today which looked slightly tight round his biceps (wah for once I knew they existed) and showed off half of his rather big tribal tattoo. And my partner only noticed that he had a tattoo and I was like..'where have you been? you didnt know?' Yah, she's a good girl sort...unlike me I suppose..(if you're thinking that out loud mariah!)...and it was a turn off for her coz she hates guys with tattoos as they gave her the impression that they're so ah beng or gangster like. Suits yourself girl...I just thought the tattoo is ugly only..haha..But him..not wearing his usual shirt? U know what I can conclude from this? He is indeed resigning very soon if not that Monday as was previously predicted by him that time to my partner coz that was what happened to our son of a B driver last year. Once he announced to us and his management that he was resigning soon, he started wearing his own shirts coz I think he gave them back to the company (the company cheapskate one lah!). So yah..we may have to say our goodbyes soon to our sometimes annoying and sometimes considerate..but mostly still annoying...driver. Well, ok...whether he leaves or not...right now, I got other problems at hand..or rather still have ONE big problem at large. My depressing financial state a.k.a. broke a.k.a po kai liao! Sad sad sad....

Monday, June 25, 2007

Sometimes I wonder if my mum ever think in logical terms. I mean seriously, you can find yourself explaining the same damn thing over and over again and if she holds on to her own set of opinions, which to her should not be contested, it will be a serious waste of time explaining. And worse, she can kill my patience coz she just..wont..listen!!! GawD!!!! Then the next thing, she will ask again. Im this close to going mental!Like the other time I took mc not only for my nasty rashes on my fingers but also coz I needed to settle some financial stuff for my dad urgently. We thought that we would get the cheque over the counter but NOoOOo..some people just had to make life difficult for us! So we missed by just a day when we went on Tuesday and apparently they only process this kind of transaction on Mondays. And then we can only expect to get the cheque within 7 days after the processing. Wtf?! See lah, they can easily fish out money from us and then when it's time for us to get it back, they have this whole long list of excuses as if we're hampering their future investment plan or something. That is people's hard earned money you dope! And after a few years, they didnt even make any money for us. What the..there was only an extra of 72 dollars after 5 years?!! See, thats the thing why Im sceptical over the current investment plans offered by banks. They are just so scheming nowadays with their empty promises and when it's time we get back what is rightfully ours, they give this long face and gone was their cheery face during the time they managed to cajouled my poor parents into investing with them.My parents...they're not really educated so they were quite easily convinced back then. But now they know better when we went through some hard times contacting this person and that person...waiting for their replies that can take weeks...get back to that person who later asked to contact another company..blah de blah blah. Worse still, we even got rude responses almost like mockery as if we didnt know what we were doing but just in it for the sake of getting money out of it.It's not a big amount but whatever we get can last us quite a bit coz we're seriously dry of money now. I have to put my family before myself and even buying a simple shirt from esprit at a mere 9 bucks made me so guilt ridden about it even though it might not have affected my financial pocket that much. I know I should not blame myself and that I have done my best to make the money that we currently have last as long as it should. I even scrimped on transport and on food but I cant go without these two especially with a job like mine so I just have to try to spend wisely as much as I possibly can.Anyway, I hate to talk about this but seriously, my mum is driving me insane as to when the cheque will come in ever since that very day itself! She just dont get it that it will only be processed on the next freaking Monday (that will be today) and I had to check the freaking mail box every day ever since our trip to the bank that day even on a Sunday when I told her that singpost people dont work on Sundays! In between she kept on asking when will the cheque arrived and my answers had been so freaking monotonous coz I told her..and I lost count..that they only process this kind of investments on Mondays!! Then her next infamous question will be when will they post it out and when exactly will we get it. I said that the singpost people dont work so fast like what..the fastest they can do is hand deliver it. The officer herself said that once they got the cheque processed, we will get the cheque within the next seven days.And she went ballistic over it like it was all my fault that I didnt ask her a proper question like when EXACTLY will we get the cheque! Her mindset is so freaking narrow that all she can think about is that my dad's account is the ONLY account that they process and that singpost is so freaking efficient, that within that same processing day itself we can get the cheque in our letterbox.OH MY GAWD!!!! WHy cant she just get it in her head?!!! This is not something that is done within a snap of the fingers. And before my head explodes from her repetitive questioning, I would give some excuse like i need to go down to the provision shop or I need to go to my room but of which the second one may not be such a good excuse coz she can come in and ask the same bloody questions again!I know that we're in dire need of money right now and that the cheque can come in handy but seriously, have some patience lah!!! And another habit of hers is that she seldom thinks before she lashes out or make comments and within minutes, she will regret. Then starts her next barrage of questions that spell out her regret like for example, 'oh no.....now she thinks im like this...' or 'oh no..now she knows about it! then what if..' and all this because she just doesnt..think...first! And I have to keep reassuring her that there is nothing to worry about coz it just doesnt make sense in the first place for that person to think like that or have super recalling memory over such..er...trivial stuffs! But my mum tends to make mountains out of molehills and she wont stop making that mountain no matter how much you assure her that her mountains (sounds dirty..) are of no point. Then ultimately her great sense of worry will just die on its own but not till her next topic to worry about come aboard and I have to answer her pointless calls during work and listen to her pointless questioning.And to whoever is processing the cheque right now, can you bloody well get it over and done with so my mum will stop pestering me?!!!!!

WHAT?!!! Just as I was done typing out that last entry, I wanted to post a picture of the character (Spike) up and then I found out that the actor playing Spike? He was born in 1985!! Im four years older than him! Damn $%%&...I had a crush on a PRE PUBESCENT!! (mariah's favourite term..)Dammit..UK people do look years older than their age..

gawd..what has the weekend plus this extra day off from work done to me?! Im currently obssessed with this one particular UK drama through you tube and thanks to one user's diligent extraction of the episodes for just the important parts, Im practically hooked as to what happens next! And there's this 'saga' as to who the main character will end up with..the one and only true love but who is suffering from an identity crisis (and an ass too) or the other person who is just right but is unaware of the love saga that is happening in the background. As much as the current crop of this love saga fans would love to have this main character end up with that so called one and one truly love, I'd vote for the second one. Why? Coz he looks hot and slightly beefy and is a club deejay and though his arms are slightly covered in rather huge tattoos akin to a bad boy image, he's really sweet. Very....sweet. Okay I'll stop salivating. His character's name? SPike. You cant go wrong with that!Ok fine. If you dont want him, PLEASE!! Let me have him...Im in need of such a hot sweetie. And there was this one funny scene..where he had a run in with the sister of the main character and she said something about him indirectly and he was like..'she's calling me fat! IS she calling me fat?!' But as much as she showed how much she hated him, it didnt take long for her to warm up to him as he helped her pick out a song for something she's organizing (he's a deejay remember?). And he did this routine to S Club 7..that 'reach for the stars' song and did it rather wrongly but she butted in and then showed the correct way of doing the actions for the song and her mum joined in as well. Then they got on rather fine even though he risked himself looking ridiculous but he just wanted to get into the family's good books. Well it worked.See! I told you he's a sweetie! Hottie..plus sweetie.......and british as well....Im salivating yet again!Okay next up! Rahayu's love life (okay this is just purely existing in the dream world)..is me on a date with a guy who looks like that..and he's deejaying in some club and I get to watch him spin the turntable! And then after his work is done, we'll head down for a supper and then walk alongside each other and talk about our future.Such bliss...yet..so not gonna happen.

Friday, June 22, 2007

This is a pretty stupid show..and I hate that loud mouth Gwen..buT! It kinda explain some stuffs like the fact that some straight girls are attracted to gay guys..and the minute they mentioned that they're gay..it will be 'hello!'. Of course provided the guy is not their boyfriend lah and it will be the most awkward situation of all if he came out.

I mean seriously, whats not to like about them..just look at these guys! How can I ever NOT be so fixated with them? Especially the one in the middle..fooh..makes rahayu's day anytime! He claimed that he is not gay in real life even after acting in several gay movies but he just might be a closet case..I dunno. Anyway I dont care. Hottie hunk has a universal definition.

BUt the one to the far right? I thought he's cute and funny but in this movie, he had all the brainwaves but he thought little of himself like way out of the league of the rest coz he's err..geeky and not as beefed up as them. So there was no way guys like Marc (the shirtless one in the middle) would ever like him. When the credits rolled, his name was often credited for several songs to the movies where he was the singer and he was really good. I suspected that he is gay in real life too..I mean I just know....and in a snippet of the part two of this movie where he acted as this 'degayed' guy..a.k.a...a gay convert (uhm..from gay to straight..if there's such a freaking thing)...someone said 'you still sound gay' when he tried to convince people he is a true convert. OH, plus his name sounded very familiar.

And then guess what? WHen I googled him, he has quite an interesting background. Apparently, he is a singer in real life and..this is the interesting bit....he was one of the top ten chosen ones for the American Idol season 1. And second interesting bit, he was the first openly gay contestant in the show. See I knew he is gay in real life! Actually he didnt profess in the show but wrote in his online journal where fans of his kinda stumbled and found out that he's gay. However when words came around about his sexuality, he didnt try to run away from it and just faced the fact and even said that the Fox network (which managed the American Idol) asked for his journal to be taken down. The last interesting bit? He was brought up by a pair of deaf parents and in the movie, he did this bit of sign language..a thumb flick on the chin..and I was thinking at that time..what the hell it meant. It was only after I knew about his family background, then I realised he was actually doing sign language. I mean the guy he did that sign thingey wasnt even deaf..hot yes but not deaf...but maybe it was just for the sake of his fans who thought it was screamworthy..bwahahaha!!!

Ey, dont underestimate him okay..he has a large female fan base who wished he wasnt gay so they can have a piece of him!

Jim Verraros

Apparently, he's quite a good actor. I thought he really shine in this indie flick and im not alone thinking in that manner. He became the lead actor yet again in the sequel. That one like more stupid ah but I saw the trailer and man...it was funny! Stupid but funny at the same time...oh, and he looks hotter too. I think why I bothered to watch this movie was because of him.

Yup, just sharing with you some useless information except about Jim though. I think he's interesting enough to be blogged about. Plus Im so proud Im spot on to know that he IS gay in real life. The rest I would think that they're acting but he's a naturalist even though he didnt show off his beefy (or lack of ) body like the rest of the actors did like that is the ONLY thing gay guys are good at. In the movie, he also let us on some insight about the life of a gay where there were some misconceptions that people had about gays.

Then apart from his 'colourful' background, he did go through tough times in school because of his sexuality and suffered quite a blow. But he came out strong and didnt think much about what they said as long as his parents accepted him. Well, he had the last laugh anyway since he did realise his dream of becoming a singer by going on American Idol and then having movie offers pouring in for him.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

hey,tomorrow may be D's last day. so that's the thing I wanted to say but it could be a 'maybe'. plus he didnt tell me anything about it or any of our other colleagues except for two of them but it was like a spur of the moment thing. Apparently he was still considering this new job coz it's better. The thing that was holding him back was that he could not bear to leave us though we had nothing to do with his night delivery and that yes..at times..we could drive him insane a bit that hinder his timing by a heck lot without any rest in between. In other words, HE MISSES US TOO MUCH! bwahahahahaha.........i wonder what black magic we used on him.But, he's a guy. he cant be that sentimental! I bet it will take him a split second to think 'oh what the f**k..Im leaving..who cares about them'. So *sobs*...you're the second best driver around (nobody tops our dear Uncle from the original cohort!) and you're young and talented (geez..why am i being nice to him..). I guess he deserves a way better job than this..something less manual. So his departure is inevitable anyway.Off work, he's a really nice guy and if he wasnt married, I'd recommend him to a single young available girl. Gawd I sound like Im self promoting myself. Bonus point? He's charming and good looking..and if you can get past his smoking and forgive him for being annoying at times although I might be the only one who sees him as that....he'll make either a great friend or a great boyfriend. Well, anyway him aside,one of my colleagues kinda noticed that my executive or supervisor was really nice to me just now. I didnt even notice anything coz I was busy doing some filing and paperwork within a short span of time coz there was a briefing soon and I had to file in some backdated class lists coz we dint go back office for few days already. Our laptops had to be reconfigured where a new password was installed for added security and once the man was done with it, he left the laptops on the table. Apparently, my executive who was overseeing everything including the briefing and reconfigurations, took the laptop from the end of the long table and err....he passed it to my team only...the rest was self service..hahaa.. SO I heard that they were complaining to my partner (I was all over the place that time) that hey, my executive was practising favouritism!! He carried the laptop for my team but not for them and they were sitting there waiting for their turn to get the laptops from him..bwahhahaha!! In the end, they had to get up and take for themselves..woops.....Oh man, seriously I didnt know! And another thing they noticed (too free lah they all...) was that I asked for stickers and he overheard and said that it might be inside the cupboards. The 'best' thing was he actually followed me from one cupboard to another..to another..and another..which was totally not necessary and yet again, I didnt notice but just thought he was only curious where the stickers were kept only. After some time, then they were like..'oy you ah! we waited for our laptops to be given out coz he gave it to your team and then nooooOOo...he just had to pass to your team only!' My team member was like 'err...my leader lah! she got the power to make people do things for her!' haha...by the way, we dressed alike today down to our sandals..and my other cluster mates were like..'woi, siamese twins ah?!' But we got our new schedules..I still remain as leader but boo hoo..we're no longer working together!! So sad...and she had her schedule and she was like comparing mine and hers together then remarking 'eh, we can meet up for lunch lah...your block near mine' I took a look and was saying..'what near?! four hundred plus and five hundred plus..where got near?! Go lunch yourself lah!' Sorrie..me and her talk like aunties at the market..hahaha!!! Then she was remarking that I was going to miss her. Well..look who's talking! haha..By the way, next month? My member...tsk...I can only say one thing: suffering..will be a norm. OH man, this member of mine had a knack for not knowing how to do her job well after all these years and very the dependent sort. And nobody worked with her WITHOUT any complains and I had worked with her before but she was only attached as floaters. Mak kau...nevermind, rahayu got patience and rahayu got the ability to wrap up fast and get out of the school asap....and apparently have the reputation to finish faster than the rest....so no matter what, if it's my team..I will take care of it. Just as long as I get my stress level under check..haha...I saw the schedule and geez...clementi for quit a period of time?! wtf?! Far you know! Haiz..whatever lah...and some schools in the south..apparently some rich people's areas and I hope they're co ooperative. The staff at these kind of schools have a reputation for not being nice.Im so looking forward to working next month...NOT! And if if it is going to be a new driver, please please please...let him be someone who can do his job well. And uhm..anything but that son of a B ex driver of mine. See, I dont ask for much one..haha..

Im in the mood for posting some pictures even though they're not relevant to anyone's life (maybe except the second one). Totally to distract you from my ever lengthy entry posts..hhaha. The first pic is a very recent picture of a childhood friend of mine who finally got married after a series of 'tak jadi' or never made it relationships and engagements. She's a friendly person, a few years older than me and have quite a temper like when we were young, she tend to get moody and attention craving sort. Im not surprised..her mother the pampering sort. Gawd I hope she doesnt read this. So congratulations to you...(i sound so unconvincing..).

Oh, and this is my REAL love of my life. I know I havent been telling you all that Im seeing someone and that I lied when I say im still single and boyfriendless...

And no! Im not talking about the shoes hanging in mid air but the guy on my left lah silly!..See how he flexed his biceps..fooh...and before that he was wearing a man's workshirt (though..uhm..in pink colour..) when he came in to check me out..wah, take my breath away man. Im proud to have you as my boyfriend hunny!!

Yup, this calbee hot and spicy potato chips. My ex favourite snack. Never fail to catch my attention whenever I pass by the aisle with the chips. One of the things that make me regret going down the healthier route.

Well, this is a mini pack of nacho chips and I actually ate this pack quite recently though just a miserable small pack with only half of the pack filled up. I didnt eat chips for the LONGEST time ever and this seemed like a great starting point. It's nice but still....I cannot be distracted too much. See you when I see you my friend...or rather..EAT you when I see you..like somewhere down the road.Okay so if you're an ex snack addict like me, I read that it's okay to indulge in chips once in awhile but if are willing to compromise, look out for tortilla chips instead of potato chips and even corn chips. They contain lesser fat content especially if they are made of wholemeal flour.For me, I prefer tortilla eaten like a sandwich instead of as chips. What is wrong with you people?! dont you know only potatoes can qualify as chips?!! Yah and then once I start popping the tortilla chips in my mouth, I may retract back what I said..haha...Alright, nitez!

Okay Im thinking about something right now...I want a guy best friend. Okay..good friend. Alright! Anything BUT boyfriend..just as long as he's a guy (gay or whatever..), Im happy. It will be sweet. Why this sudden interest? Well...it's kinda cool coz you get different set of opinions unless he's full of himself. Then, there is seriously no strings attached to each other so you can totally hang out with no clause in between. And you can talk shit with each other too whether in broad daylight on the phone or deep into the night. No..phone sex is not part of the act. I think it's just diversity...like you have girlfriends on one side and guy friends on the other. Cool right?Alas, no such thingey for me. Dear GOd, I dont ask for much. Fine if You want to take your time pairing me up with a decent..uhm..preferably Chinese guy or making me fall deep in love with at least one person that is not a celebrity. But cant I have a guy best friend? And no D..doesnt count.Well, it's okay. As if my social life is that great anyway since I hardly socialise. But it's okay. I need to work on myself first. Im getting lazier and lazier by the hour and nobody likes a lazy friend right..whether it's a girl or a guy. Haiz...okay okay..once I have pretty much become a little bit financially stable (sometime next week I hope) and quit sitting down and worrying over the lack of it and regain interest back in my hobbies without my thoughts being clouded over...I'll do some self improvements. For now there are some things that I need to plan and settle so...my social life..or more specifically, future guy friends? They can wait. (drats....)Anyway, Mariah is right. Yishun? Freaking confusing. What's up with these loopy loopy roads man? Can you believe I took this one bus with a colleague and we thought the bus would bring us straight to our destination in about six stops. But my colleague who studied the bus guide (well....I studied too the other night but was too distracted to know something was amiss jz now) kinda figured out we were on the wrong route. I was like..cant be what..and then I remembered. Shit! This bus had two directions depending on which avenue you're going! And being the smarty pants that we were..we forgot to check out the berth properly first like which avenue it was for and ran right after we saw the bus number. Big. Mistake. It made one big loop..but on the OTHER side of Yishun...and we went straight back into the interchange after the loop was made.So okay it was supposed to be the next berth which was blocked by the shop at the interchange. My colleague had this thought like what if it was the same bus driver and same bus only different route? I said Im SO not taking! It was freaking embarassing already!!And then she laughed..I was like..what? Oh my gawd! The bus that came in less than five minutes later? Same uncle and same bus! We were like laughing and laughing and I was hysterical man! I went 'no! im not taking! im not taking!!' but then okay..we took it in the end and we almost sprinted straight right in the moment we tapped the cards..haha...while avoiding eye contact with the driver. So we thought that it would be the end of our loopy destination. But NOoOOooo........during lunch time after finding that there was not one single coffee shop around the area we went to, had no choice but to take a bus down to the central. And by golly...we took a bus and that bus made a loopy turn too! We were like..oookkaaaaay....that bus stop looked strangely familiar.....right after it U turned after several stops later and we found out we made one big round and passed by the bus stop that we had waited for the bus. Plus after walking for almost half an hour....from the bus stop that we were? Less than five minutes we then saw this mini central area with shops and food courts including McDonalds in the bus. Aaaaahh!!!!! We made so many mistakes..like what the hell?!! Oh, the weather didnt help. It was freaking hot. And during our loopy journey, we saw the schools that we would be going the next two days. Okay at least we wont get lost like just now since we saw the other schools BUT the school we were supposed to go for the screening today until much later.And to make matters worse, I saw my ex driver from our department..my number one enemy. He was alone at some dingy looking coffee shop and I was pointing him out to my colleague and she was like going 'where? where?' After some distance away, I was telling her that was the ex driver I was talking about..the one I hated coz he bullied me several times. You know what she thought? She thought I was trying to point out some guy for her to make up her mind if he's hot or what and when she saw him, she was like..'huh...You call THAT hot?! HE's too skinny!' I said 'no! Im not talking about that! I was telling you that is the guy I badmouthed about last Monday..our ex driver!!!' Talk about miscommunication. She said 'Oh!....Anyway I thought you're talking about some other guy. By the way, he's just like dennis.' She meant that he was just as young as D but I said okay..they're about the same age (they were just a year apart) but he's not like D. He's quite nasty not just to me but to the others too. D can be annoying but still friendly in overall but this guy is totally off the hook like seriously have issues kind. So freaking arrogant. He does have nice looking eyes with girlish long eyelashes...but still...freaking arrogant. So forget about the eyes.Plus, the way he ate just now? So dainty like a girl..bwahahaha...Im so mean.Talk about D...yes I know I shouldnt be talking about him anymore (starting next wk actually, let you know why much later)...but, okay totally redundant information. And useless. He called me on my personal phone just now even though I carry two phones with one for official use..the one I use to call him. So anyway whatever it is...still as annoying as ever 'pushing' me to wrap up soon so he can rest and insisted on coming at the time he stated which was way early and not the time I said. Okay here comes the redundant info. He called me and said my name as 'Ayu'..eurgh. All this while he called me by my full name which is Rahayu..a mouthful I know but who cares. I guess he heard my colleagues especially my cluster mates calling me that even though it had been for the longest time already. I guess all this while he a bit the deaf lah. I have lived with the fact that Im being called that name and even addressed myself as Rahayu even though they know me more as that..er..shortened version...when I call them or when I message them. I dunnolah..Im not against that name coz it's still my name after all whether or not I like it. But I guess the 'sweetness' of the name is a bit overbearing for me. And now, I have to add one more person to the list of people who call me by that name so have to practise not cringing when being called as that. But for D....I guess there's not much practising to be done. Why? Again, let you know later. Why like that? Coz D the bugger has not confirmed it yet.Haiz...gotta sleep and wake up for work tomorrow. Plus not to make the same mistake as just now..haha..loopy bus ride..hahaha...

Saturday, June 16, 2007

sometimes I feel that I have tried hard..but at times, it felt like I didnt try hard enough. I do ponder what God has planned for me or is it just me...unambitious and all coz I felt that I dont have enough resources at hand and that I have enough things to keep me worried. Oh well, whatever has been lined up for me, it sure isn't at an arm's length. Maybe still on its way. It'd better hurry up coz day after day, I feel like my existence on earth has been nothing but redundant coz Im not progressing in any way no matter how I have tried to improve on the quality of my life.

Well, no one's life is worry-free right? RIGHT?! Come on, convince me now...Man, can I just take a break from life from awhile...haiz..

Another thing that is slowly making me out as a loser is the level of frequency I've been talking about D. I read an ex friend's blog which was posted yonks ago...okay..months ago...and she's talking about her boyfriend and she seemed really happy. Err, completely redundant entry about their dates and where they went..but at least it is real. For me? D is completely off limits and Im talking as if he's the crush of my life. NOte: He isn't. I just think that he's a nice and friendly guy...and according to my social life, guys like him dont exist. So maybe I got carried away with blogging about him. But if you noticed, my entries about him is not me gushing about him..but more about how annoying he gets every day. Maybe he is just seeking attention or that he's bored out of his wits delivering stuffs here and there so the next thing to do is..'aha! I think i'll go make fun of rahayu..I just love it when she's annoyed.' Whatever he's up to...I try my best not to blog about him. I dont want to make myself like a loser talking about D like he's the only topic of the day.

But I do admit that the last entry about him praising me totally came out of the blue. I was like looking at him thinking 'is he for real?' when he remarked quite loudly at a time about me when I was in the midst of joking around with my partner while busying ourselves with the packing up. It also made me wonder if he had been observing me all this while coz it would be one heck of a scary thought or....he was just out trying to be nice to me coz of his earlier plea for him to collect the laptops earlier. And I still stand the ground that it surely must be the latter.

Anyway, sadly...i dont want to make myself out as someone desperate for a dose of friendship from a guy that I only get to see like what..ten minutes or less than that even. So......have to limit my entry on him. Unless it kills me for not writing. I suspect it will be so.

On a serious note, I got a hundred and one things that is making me worried sick just thinkin about it. I dont want to talk about it right now because I just dont feel like it. It's something that I thought will not come so soon but unexpectedly, it came way freaking early. Im just so scared about it but there's really nothing I can do but just hope for the best.

Let's talk about something else to keep this problem at bay. I just read this article about three single women who are capable in their own ways, not bad looking and they're not grossly fat or what but just like your typical women in their twenties that you see walking around with a good fashion sense and a heck loads of confidence...and of course...a boyfriend at tow. But they're single. And I wonder if these pretty and slim ladies have trouble being attached, people like me will have no hope..haha...No lah, I dont think of myself that low. Whether or not others are attached, I dont think Im one who prefers joining the hitched crowd, for now at least.

So okay, they had been in past relationships before and they were hurt quite badly or that relationship was rather long that they had grown very attached to each other. But alas, no matter how great a relationship can be, sometimes it is just not meant to be and the next hardest thing to do is to move on. While they have indeed moved on and concentrated on things worth concentrating on like their friends, family and career, they are in no hurry to fall in love again.

My case is completely different. I never had a boyfriend before, let alone be on a proper date. Yes I know this has been mentioned before but seriously, I dont think Im of the same level as these girls and it IS a wonder for others to think why they're still walking around as a single. But me? I lack of qualities worth amplifying or for myself to self promote that hey, Im worth a date.

Then again, what if I try to think hard..seriously think very very very hard...(it's not easy you know..) and then list down things about myself that may spark some interest with the opposite sex. Wishful thinking but anything to just make me not to think so much about my lack of finances..oops..just gave that away.

Okay, Im totally committed to my family even though it is not an easy responsibility and on my own...have to do a lot of sacrifices. Even though I come across as someone who is a pushover, but usually these things that make me 'sway' to their rhythm are pretty trivial stuffs. Sometimes people ask me why Im still wasting my time on certain friends who seem to be rather controlling over me or even critise me unfairly even though I didnt do anything to hurt them. But, it's hard for me to let them go just like that coz they have helped me in many ways than other people who only know how to talk only but hardly mean what they say.

Im pretty unbiased with people coz I dont judge people so easily with myself being one who is often misunderstood. Yes, people's little quirks do annoy me at times making me wonder if they ever think before saying those freakin words in a sentence or if they even know what they're doing.

Erm, other than that..I have certain strong principles in life although I dont look like the sort. I am perceived as someone dainty and easily pushed around but Im quite realistic and not easily swayed with what I see around me or what others do. I dont mind if people think Im back dated or that my principles are silly..whatever...at times, I just dont think like others do. Maybe coz I'd rather take my time then jump into something and regret it later. Yes sometimes it is worth taking a shot at it but seriously, only I know when is the right time to jump into a sea infested with sharks. I guess Im pretty low profiled about these principles unlike others who make sure people know they mean business. Other than that, I can be quite an untruthful person and not to say that in a bad manner but in a way that is not meant to make things worse in an already awkward situation.

OH, I'm very down to earth meaning that I dont have my head sky high and expect people to treat me like a princess. For example, I'd rather take the mrt back home than have the guy to send me back. Of course if he is free and he drives and it's not inconvenient for him, then who am I to stop him..haha...But what I meant was, I dont expect people to do things for me or go out of their way to do so just for my sake. It doesnt reflect well on me and for myself, I'd rather be independent than rely on others by interrupting their busy schedules.

I dont crave for luxuries in life and can just make do with what I have so that is why I guess I can be pretty fussy like over clothing items for example. Because if it is something that I would have to rely on quite a lot since I dont shop much, they'd have to be worth wearing and not something that will end up as nothing but a display in my cupboard. Same for shoes too.

Ey, the more interesting part..hehe..let's talk about men..Hrm, what do I look for in a guy IF one day someone can convince me that a relationship is worth putting myself in. Seriously, I dont have a list of criterias to act as a check list. Maybe someone who can hold a decent conversation with me, is not overly vain (coz it stinks if he cares about his hair more than me..), caring (duh..), easy on the eyes (a must! haha..a shallow part of me talking there) and someone who has opinions of if his own but doesnt blast me off just coz he doesnt agree with me. And he doesnt criticise or judge others easily. Oh, can take care of his money well also..hehe..but not to a level of being a scrooge.

I dont crave for a typical date like dinner at a restaurant, going to a movie or taking a long romantic walk. I mean Im not entirely off with the idea..seriously...but it's boring..haha. Yah, one more thing about me..I get bored easily but I dont necessarily show it. Physically, just my excessive yawning and thats not a good thing to do on a date right? Haha..And no, I dont list down skydiving or bungee jumping as being a non typical date for me. HRm, Im just thinking a bicycle ride down east coast park and then settling down at the jetty to see people around us and then look at the big ships looming ahead. After that, we'll drink chocolate milkshake from the nearby mcdonald's and then maybe walk a bit on the sand and then have some teasing moments with the sea water tiding in. But then, thinking about how smelly I'll be and having to bring spare clothes in case I get dunked in the water, hrm...maybe a movie date doesnt sound so bad.

SO yah, some random things to put my mind off..and now back to some serious worries..

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Ackkk!! Did D just praise me? Wah very the shocked..but then, coming from him..if he's praising, it's not a good sign. Might need something. I was lamenting how Im 'stuck' with my partner for lunch and he was like..no wonder I see you're getting slimmer and slimmer! Of course I was like..huh?!..how does that fit in? And jz thanked him even though I doubt his sincerity and I went on saying yupz..what to do..coz I lost my appetite eating with her (and my partner was making noise at the back..haha..). But I guess he assumed that I knew he was just joking..because I seriously did think he was.....and he said again, yah..you ARE getting more and more slimmer like you're losing more and more weight when I see you. Whats up with him and his emphasis?

Then worse still, after that he was looking at me as a whole like up and down (what the hell..) in particular my arms coz maybe I was wearing a black top and a long flowy green skirt given by my friend (I never wear long skirts for work..hehe..), I was pretty camouflaged for him to see much, I guess...hehe. But then he nodded his head as if implicating that he was spot on. I still thanked him yet again coz I didnt know what else to say (sudden brain freeze) and blushing too coz seriously, I was being scrutinized up and down by a guy no less, hello?! Earlier on he did ask if we could finish earlier than 4..say...3.45..so never trust the bugger.Today me gonna eat cake! Me, my partner and my co leader decided to organized this birthday mini party for those who had their birthdays from jan to june. I mean it would be something that is completely non work related coz we had been busy with our work so we needed just a bit of something to break out of the monotonity.SOunds like a lot of fancy things for..err...a piece of birthday cake.ANd I just discovered a talent of mine...I can make people give me money with my sad pathetic face and voila! They gave me three dollars as contribution for the cake..and in just ten minutes, all gave after seeing one after another gleefully giving me the money. My partner said that one day if she open a loanshark company, she'll hire me if there is a need to get the money back. Ey, what is this?! I thought we're doing a partnership?ANyway, let's see how the whole thing turns out later. Yummy chocie fudge cake, here i come!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Yup..today finally the audit freaks came to er..audit my team. And man..yesterday my leader jz came by to give pointers and today they showed up! Plus, my mentality was like..they couldnt have come so soon after auditing one of our cluster groups yesterday plus with the appearance of my leader yesterday, they probably would give us a chance to 'warm up'. But NooOOoo...they showed up! And I was this close to being late and thank Yishun mrt for having taxis on standby. So as soon as I dropped at the mrt station, I ran to take a cab and hoping to reach there under ten minutes...coz that was all the time I had left! And thank God I reached there on time...like by under a minute! But of course....it was costly as well lah..considering that a bus trip would be a hell lot cheaper. Haiz..just for the sake of being 'punctual' but luckily, I didnt decide to be freaking complacent today or I would be super late. I dont wish to comment much about the audit coz it's bloody boring stuff and I dont really care much about how much score I got. Im still gonna be marked down or what for the final year end report no matter how and will end up with the same grade and as long as I dont get into their bad books. It's not as if I could not answer all the f**king questions and I know all the codes by hard, able to convert, know the purposes of this test or that test...whatever shit there are..and So if Im still around next year..then I will still get my performance bonus money. Therefore it's not a big freaking deal. Plus the fact that it is over...for now....I can afford to be late and not be so hard pressed about time already! Woohoo!!No D story today coz I think I told a long grandmother story yesterday..hehe. Sorrie lah..didnt manage to edit it. But maybe I can squeeze in...JUST...a teensy bit...I kinda sounded hesitant when he called after 1 plus to check if my team was ready for his collection. And he figured out that we were being audited and I was like..how do u know?! 'Can tell from your voice what..' Then he began to talk in the same manner..as in..stammering. When he came, he continued to make fun again because he was freaking proud of his correct guess and stammered again..until I threatened him to say one more time..and okay, joke's over. At least for that part..not to say other things. Anyway, that aside....uhm, how do I put this across gently? Uhm..I've been doing a little emailing with an australian guy who is now working and residing in Hong Kong and at times, come down to Singapore for his work trips. He works in the I.T. line under chatting programmes and other softwares and he's a bit curious about what kind of I.T. stuffs I do even though the thing that attracted him to my profile was the fact that I play the game Sims 2. I've already explained to him that I dont dabble much in I.T. coz Im just a newbie but nevertheless, it's still an interest. He also asked me what kind of graphic design I do too and again I said Im just learning as well but seldom indulge in them coz of my other commitments but as and when I can, I do read up computer magazines (yes sue me..for being boring). I dunno....maybe it's my style of emailing or what...or my pretty profile picture..heh heh..yeah right...the latest email was also I.T. related but he also added if I could give him my email address so he can add me on MSN. Okay I may be interested in this stuff but I dont like talking about it coz it can be a dry topic. Plus, it doesnt really fit in with my gorgeous image..I'd rather be known as the curvacious girl next door with killer boobs and ass who uhm...stammer if she's nervous..sighz..So yah..Im still thinking on whether I should give him my email. OR..I can do the shallow way which is to reject him coz he aint that good looking. Haiz..why cant early 3os people be as good looking as D. You know what..I think I choose the latter..heh..easy peasy.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Hello...today I dont feel like a pauper because it's pay day but of course...I try my best to make sure the money lasts a weetle bit longer and that nothing comes in between that forces me to spend quite a bit..haha..Then again, hard to say.Well, I just started covering a different location for my field work. But thank goodness it's within the heartlands and not some obscure places. And guess where it is? In Yishun? Yes..residents of Yishun. I shall be invading your space for at least this week and early next week. So far, have not got myself lost yet. But I dont want to speak too soon. Especially if the block numbers jump around...or the feeder buses suck blood like the ones that come once every twenty minutes as if it is some freaking free service shuttle service. Hello, that one I dont pay of course they take their bloody time but this one? I cant accept it if the bus drivers act like one big shot...gawd! And blame me if Im late...By the way, today....the lightbox for my team that hold up the charts gave trouble. Actually yesterday it gave trouble too but I informed D and he brought new light bulbs. But even after he fixed in the new ones, it still didnt work so it was not the bulbs but the whole thing itself. So he had to go back to the warehouse to take a new one but I guess he was quite pressed for time because he had to do several other delivery rounds. He didnt seem disturbed or what and just left while talking on the phone to ask if they could standby the spare one for collection.Then half an hour later, he called my team phone and oh.my.gawd. He was talking loudly (okay partly coz he was driving and maybe he didnt know that he was blasting my ears as he spoke using his bluetooth enabled earset) and asking where should he send the spoilt lightbox. My leader was around and she asked to bring to the office so the technicians over there could take a look at it. Then I thought the convo would just end coz I didnt want to talk much as she was around so had to act 'serious' mah..hehe..as If I dont always do. But dunno why....he started to complain big time about having to do double work for the teams...coz other teams often asked him to bring back the printers or laptops back to office because it didnt 'worked'. Why worked was quoted was because let's just say...the ones who worked on these...they were not quite resourceful and the best bet was to call the driver and send to office for other people to take a look at it. I kinda know this has been happening quite a lot coz my team...yes...always my team....would make our way back to office as our screening was only half day. Plus we're not the type to suddenly fall sick in the afternoon or pushed back the timing until late or claim to take late lunch just to avoid coming back office. If you do it once or twice..maybe not noticeable..but I dont want to get into trouble if it gets out of hand. I know these people well enough..they may just act sympathetic to us but behind our back, they are secretly emailing to the big head. So anyway, I just suspected that he would 'break down' one day coz he always tried to put on a cool demeanour like yah..no choice..had to be done....but at times would let it out on me if he came to collect like saying he was sick and tired of collecting..or what..usually one-off sentences. But just now was like...man...he kept asking..'sure office? are you sure or not bring back to office not to ST? And then if I bring to office, then they ask me to bring to ST..wah double job for me you know! Confirmed bring to office?' Then okay fine..I asked my leader again...so I said 'yah..she said office'..and again..he repeat the whole process of questioning again..and I was like 'okay you ask me one more time I would say no'..then he retorted back..'bring to office right? just say no....then I dont have to bring it anywhere..' tsk.....irritant. Yah he continued complaining and complaining about other things...seriously, in a space of 5 minutes, he was talking like a speeding bullet and I was left dumbfounded. I said that well..it's not easy for us too coz this whole month we have audit...and he still continued. I could just try to assure him well...he can take his time to send the spare one..no need to hurry..even though it would hold back our screening but I didnt know what else to say. But yah, in the midst of complaining, he still continued to be an irritant when I told him to take his time..dont rush. And he was like..really ah..then you no need to do lah....seriously, no point being nice to him even in the midst of his 'crisis'. And he continued to complain more again about not being able to be at different places all at the same time...Great. Im aunt agony of the day.But during collection time, he was okay in his cheerful self again and in the midst of me wanting to meet the admin clerk to pass the assessments...he still continued being the usual bugger. Im like okay..so..hurry up and talk...as he talked and talked while I was one foot on standby to go meet her while the rest of me looking at him as he complained..yes the saga had not ended yet..about he hated going back to his headquarters. I was like 'why?' (aunt agony at work here..) 'No girls ah?'...he chuckled and said..yah...but.......'okay then what?' (quick..im paid by the minutes!) 'uhm..the people there...sucks'. OH..colourful usage of language..I was like 'okay..so including you suck too?' yes I know bad timing to make joke during this aunt agony moment..but obviously, he looked serious and tried to smile but he kinda looked down as if a bit the sad. And! perfect timing for aunt agony to make her move now..to see the admin staff lah..not on him!SO the bugger finally broke down and I thought that it was impossible for him to not have any reactions for the extra work he had been getting. But of course the usual annoyance still there like call me slow...that sorta lame lame name calling again thingey. Then again right..I dont know how long he will last in this line also based on his frequency of complaints from one liners to full blast just now. One of his colleagues just disappeared also..without a trace some more...and I dont think he will do the houdinni but he is still harbouring the thoughts of becoming an engineer. Yes, he is smart and good looking (have to be careful..or later the ego can hear) so it's not that hard for him to get a job in this line together with his contacts that can give him a recommendation. But I think he is saving up for quite a lot of things like getting his own vehicle because his line of engineering require him to travel. So meanwhile, hold on bugger! Anyway this is just the cons of a travelling job coz I do travel too so I kinda know how he feels like you are tired after a rushing morning together with the fatigue of travelling back to office almost every day. Later on and even before we sign in, we have more work to do like either counselling or data entries infront of the computer for few hours till the end of the day. I forsee this week till next week I will be super tired because the journey from Yishun to our office in outram park isn't exactly near and we had to stand coz it was crowded. You know...I felt 'faint' a bit and I very very seldom felt that way when suddenly i was surrounded by a group of people and one of them started fanning herself with a paper fan. NOrmally, i wouldnt mind standing but at that minute, I thought I turned pale that my partner might have noticed and insisted that I sat. I had been feeling bloated a bit this morning so I thought the pressure of standing for quite some time made me feel nauseous a bit. But good thing a seat became available soon after and I had no choice but to sit down or I'd just faint there.Haiz.......probably be the next one to suffer a mental breakdown after D's dramatic one.

Monday, June 11, 2007

hello..blogging from the vicinity of my office. Okay more specifically, in the counselling room. I had not even signed in yet after my return from screening (apparently my second time to the office and it was just a little over half a day) and then I had to be sent to the bloody room for counselling sessions with the parents. Good thing the few parents that came here had a sense of humour. Maybe they were God sent to entertain the super bored and pissed rahayu. But the time passes by here quite quickly because I dont get bored especially if there is internet connection around..bwahahah...and oh, music from the radio from my handphone. Oh man...today is a freaking lousy day..a lot of deja vu incidents like for example, havent I been to this mrt station just this morning...and then...poof...Im back again! Tsk..all coz the lousy school wished to start later than the usual time and it has to be located near serangoon which is quite near where I live. Then I had to report to office first because according to the rule, if the screening starts at 10am, we would have to report here first. Who the f**k invented such rule? Yup, D had been a little less annoying but alamak, this guy always come out with 'new strategies' to irritate me and had the decency to look at me see how I react. What is this...'yes m'am'...'okay m'am' on the phone when I called him to ask him what time can he come and collect..which he continued to put up with the charade when he came half an hour later. And then after I said 'okay..yes sir'...he changed strategy called me 'okay mother'..tsk...yes, find new ways every day to irritate me. Did I mention he placed my stationery box (this plastic transparent box like the one sold in ntuc fairprice) almost near the middle of the road and not close to his van as he was loading our things inside and with the cars zipping at high speed coz this is the rich people's road? I was signalling him to push the box in a bit coz the cars were mere inches from the box as they were being driven by. And you know what he did? NOTHING!!!! My team's things are all inside and he was like...tsk..nothinglah..it's just your box..and continued to arrange the things in his van from the side while ignoring my almost shouting pleas because of the fast speed sounds made by the passing vehicles. My partner was almost scared out of her wits but I made her walk away with me after that to the bus stop coz we were SO not gonna be witnesses to his freaking stubbornness. Yes! Half an hour more to freedom! YOu know what..Im almost penniless..cant believe this man. If I am working for a private firm which has the tendency to hold back their workers' salaries, Im so gonna die man. Seriously die...of hunger and thirst. Well, at least I will be getting my pay tomorrow and thank the Govt (but no thanks to them again for the increase in GST), for the money at the start of July. Im thinking...of buying this top from Far East Plaza. Seriously, I like the slogan..hehe..'Explain to me why I need a boyfriend' But it's in medium only and you know what that means? It may fit me just nice but depending on the cut..bust and all..bwahahaha...so please dont be overwhelmed by my sudden bustiness if I wear the shirt. Geez..one thing why I dont quite fancy doing counselling here at our headquarters especially at this level where students are referred from all over Singapore...the parents a bit the psychopathic. I Just heard one shouting like one mad woman outside and oh, dont let me get started with the appointment phonelines. It might be the easiest Saturday duty but the parents..gah......when they called..they expected to get an appointment date as and when they wanted even though that month we would be fully booked. What do you expect during the June holidays? Sometimes I find myself sounding like a broken record for some parents who insisted I give them the appointment date for this month even though they had one already but they wanted to change to a later date. They can scream at me for all they want, complain how 'inefficient' we are..slam the phone down....whatever....no date means no date! I'll repeat and repeat the same damn line..'we're fully booked..and the next date is only available in early July' no matter how much they insisted we squeeze in one for them. They didnt want July because their children would start schooling. NOt my problem what. I cant give in to every freaking demands.Hopefully, the auditing will be over soon. JUst shoot me all you want and then get lost from my team after auditing..heh...I just want the pressure off my back. And come late to school for screening the next day..hahaa...wait, dont I always do that even on normal days? Sheesh....

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Well, hello again. Guess what? Im starting to become a junk food addict but I think it's just a temporary case of me being under the stress of work. Coz it's only been a week since I was last out of the supposedly easier life at the refraction clinic. And Im craving for potato chips and chocolates and..and....argh...epok2! But then after I ate the potato chips, of which the health freak in me still had the decency to look for those trans fat free and with less fat content even though it is slightly more expensive, I forgot that Im not really a potato chips fan in the first place whether now or then..haha. It's the lure of the packaging I tell ya! It gave me a bleurgh aftertaste after eating a few...haiz..

Im seriously disappointed with my lunch meals the past few days even though I tried to make healthier food choices. I ended up eating vegetable dishes glistening with too much oil. And then fries as accompaniment to my grilled chicken foldover coz it would not make sense to buy just the foldover as the whole meal costs under 5 bucks only. Where else can you get cheap mcdonalds fast food meal except at the polytechnics?! And then dunno why..I asked for this noodle dish which was supposed to be bee hoon noodles but they gave me yellow noodles already blackened by too much black sauce and seriously oily that every bite tasted 'watery'.

Then back home, just as I was happy that okay..at least I dont indulge in yet another bad dinner my mum had started frying small epok2 or curry puffs. They are smaller than the usual curry puffs and whose pastry skins are not soaky with oil. Of course in my book, they are fried no matter how little my mum uses the oil but I cant say no coz she did leave some for me. Still I shared with them and they didnt mind even though my mum insisted that these curry puffs are 'okay' for me to eat coz they are so small. Plus it's pointless for me to eat just half of one curry puff like as per normal during the last time my father used to buy curry puffs for my brother.

Therefore gym time yesterday was tough for me coz I felt sluggish. My knees felt heavy and going into ten minute of workout was torturous enough but based on experience, I managed to push myself through half an hour for the cross trainer even though it was not my best timing. Oh whatever...Im just so pooped out coz of my poor diet that zaps me of energy, I suppose.

Still, it's not something that will bring me down easily. Im feeling a bit better now coz I started to clean my room that has been put on hold for almost a week coz of my lack of energy. And now that I had just finished eating a green apple, and drinking one whole pack of reduced sugar soya bean milk, Im slowly going back on track. Im not trying to be lame here by being all sucky about the food that I have been eating that to many others may not be such a big deal after all. And even true blue health freaks do give in to the occasional treats like the hawker fare such as char kway teow or oyster omellete (is that how you spell it) as long as they have a balanced diet and exercise. Or the next few days they watch what they eat to 'balance' off the last hawker meal that they had.

And you know what? It is true. It is not impossible to enjoy such treats instead of banning such food for life. Well, you can still do that but if it happens to be your fav and near impossible to give up that plate of chicken rice forever, dont fret. Im an advocate of that coz I cant just give up my love for food for over twenty years with just a snap of the fingers. So basically I still weighed the same but I have yet to lose the 10kg I was planning to lose from the start except the ones I gained last year. Anyway, I still have half a year more to go so I'll just take one day at a time.

So..sighz....goodbye junk food. It was nice getting to you all over again just now even if Im eating your version of fakies like fat free ice cream and no trans fat potato chips. Somehow my mind has been brainwashed already so....it wasn't exactly a happy reunion like drinking a diluted version of coca cola..haha. Oh well, better than nothing...but anyway, hello healthy lifestyle tomorrow..yet again *yawns*

i feel so incredibly bored. Even my attempt at watching a gay themed music video was...well...I dunno...I was seeing it at half screen only. That means half of them I covered up with my eyes lah even though there was nothing sexual going on in the video. No, seriously. Oh, dont tell me Im 'recovering' from my tiny addiction? heh...but i still love men whether they're gay or not provided they're not the girly girl girl type..coz they're so hunkalicious. I dunno...maybe this boredom is induced by my financial woes?

So anyhoo, even the thought of seeing D after screening was not wat I was looking forward to already. I guess my mind is just so clouded up this week coz I had been damn busy at work. I just dont know why some people are just assholes. They have been been giving my team mediocre feedback even though we worked our butts off trying to 'please' them by being flexible but yet...our feedback showed that they thought we were not good enough. F**k off lah..you're working us like robots or some labour workers who can happily carry the freaking heavy equipments from one place to another and then back again or finish up the screening and scram off from the school.

And then D is starting to annoy me with his remarks that im forgetful, slow, err..bossy..and the latest one..childish jz coz there was a packet of hello panda on the table meant for my colleague. I said it was ours since we shared but he kept on insisting that it was mine a few times. I stopped eating all these snacks like a year ago but she bought pocky the other time when I said I like to eat all of these snackies and I was just doing her back the favour. It felt like it is his only way of communicating with me..which is to annoy me. Whatever bugger..and he is starting to send half personal half official messages to me again as yet another form of communication even though im holding the team phone as well.

But I let him off this time since he had been asking us if we want a lift in his van which is rare even though his new van could only let one person sit infront and the other at the back. Yesterday we had no choice coz seriously, the cars here were driven like mad and that was not surprising coz it was the backlane of Orchard Road. They do drive like their grandfathers paid for the road. I like to sit behind so I said ok then..I sit behind. But he sounded shocked like almost shouting asking huh? but why do you want to sit behind? What the..I said that..one has to sit behind what..so I sit behind lah! Anyway, in my heart was like..as if you talk to me that much. Annoy me yes..like continuing to do that again as I was sitting infront coz my partner insisted on sitting behind and got to it first. Drats...So there he goes with his pet subject..my punctuality...*yawns*...can change subject or not. Oh wait, he did..my forgetfulness...coz I almost forgot the two handphones I was carrying..hee..and he said that like twice..gawd..he is starting to become some kind of repeat telecast lah..Aiyah, it's a Friday! What do you expect? My brain to be fully functional?! Idiot..

But then right, come to think of it....in general, I can be pretty quiet among guys when it comes to talking to them face to face. I talk very little that even my own supervisor labelled me as very quiet coz I seldom talk to him when he was telling my partner about how I am before she started working with me. In truth, I am not that freaking quiet but with guys..a bit the segan lah..or shy..or maybe coz Im too busy admiring them behind the scenes..heh...Seriously, I dont even talk to D that much except in short phrases often rebutting with what he is saying about me but never quite engage in small conversations except through messaging or when he talks to me on the phone...as in..during work and not after work kind of thing. I dont know if he's using that as an excuse to lap up on trying to annoy poor me.

By the way, he didnt buy the bubble tea as promised but I know he was super busy. It was meant as a joke but still Im not surprised that he didnt mention about it either as if he conveniently forgets. Typical guys..Anyway, Im not henpecking him seriously...but he's giving me the impression for the past two months or so that he's the type of guys who gets what he wants jz coz he is a good looking bugger..I mean....guy. It kinda pissed me off a bit the way he messaged like as if he just needs to instruct me and *poof*..he will definitely get what he wants. He's not doing that to me only but the rest too except with me, he needs to do a bit more convincing but now, he kinda sees through it like 'yah..pfft...she surely can but she's just playing hard to get' thing.It's okay. As much as I do want to make his job easier since now he has to handle four teams instead of the usual three and then being sent to different parts of Singapore for the collection and delivery, I am working too and earning my rice bowl. Anyway, if he decided to ask me about the bubbletea, I would have to say that I was just joking and he didnt have to get it for my team. Like I said, he was just lucky that day we finished way earlier and was not something that I planned. If it had gone my way instead, I wouldnt care about his freaking dinner appointment but just make sure I dont make mistakes in my work in a bit to hurry up. So the treat is considered useless.That makes me think....do ALL good looking guys behave like him? Well...happy being single to me!

Thursday, June 07, 2007

wah that bugger ah...seriously ah...damn big bugger man..I thought who messaged around 9 am in the morning and maybe just mariah. But I was too busy so I only read it only an hour later. I didnt see who send but when I opened it, I was like..wah fancy being called 'pretty' as an opener by mariah until I read the rest of the message that asked if I could finish up the screening by 5pm instead of 5.30..Buuuuuggerrr.....well, at least I made him call me the popular and gorgeous one and even I didnt promise I could finish up that time ..two can play that game what.

well, anyway he was lucky. We finished way before that. WHy? Okay first the stupid freaking assholic school (i can never trust overfriendly school staff the minute i entered..and im often right!) made us shift our equipments twice and then asked to shift out again so that the other class can use back the classroom. That is after we went beyond our schedule by screening an additional class! I was giving this 'uhm..do we have to?' look to the teacher when she asked to shift back to the music room at the other end yet again coz hello? the equipments are not easy to carry from one to another end of the freaking class okay bitch! At least two three of those teachers were genuinely nice. The rest were damn bitches. INCLUDING the principal. The mother of all bitches.

So second, why I said he was lucky was due to our advanced screening, we only had paperwork left to do in the late afternoon. Then third, the replication (uploading and downloading of data) was smooth running without our hitch unlike yesterday which took half an hour. So we finished up everything at 4.10pm but the bugger could only reach at 4.30 but it was obvious when I called and said that he could come now, could 'hear' him practically grinning as he was talking.

Think he can escape? Well, my partner and I thought that okay..give him chance today coz tomorrow we may need his service to send us out..hehe. Hey, it's not something we request to do all the time unlike them aunties okay...but tomorrow's school was practically way way way deep inside the heart of orchard road. So, we were devising a plan to be nice to him tomorrow but he beat to us first. Of course..he cant just escape like that..thought he can just manipulate us like that only coz he got dinner plans tonight. We were just kidding when I said well..you owe us since we finished way earlier than planned..we want bubble tea (err..its good to have a partner who indulge in bubble tea!) but he was like ah..now? Where can I get bubble tea now? Okay okay..why not tomorrow I get for you bubble tea. Ey, then it will be just nice coz there is one bubble tea shop right opposite far east plaza. But he was like..wah you mean you all plan already about this ah? Okay okay..I will get for you all..of course I thought he was just kidding..he ALWAYS kid around but he means business this time..oooOOooo...first time getting treated by D! We were shocked at first but he was so determined that tomorrow he will get for us.

Well, it's bubble tea this time...next time, let's see...we were thinking..sushi maybe?! whahahah...yah then I have to rush through my work again just for the freakin sushi. So not worth it.

By the way, he even asked us just now if we want a lift to the mrt station. Yet another first! Okay technically not really but that time coz it was raining heavily and we were stuck. But we didnt want to push his button too much now so well...we said its okay..we can walk and he was giving us a look like....really...sure? Tsk, we're not as demanding and manipulative as you okay..

it's great to have a partner whom you can 'click'..she's friendly but not overly friendly..has a warm personality and she can actually do this 'mind reader' thing..haha. Nolah, like what she says..it's coz we're about the same age group that somehow we have almost the same wave length. And I was like..drats..cant trick her..haha..I mean seriously, she shared almost the same thoughts as me. But she's a fast learner and Im teaching the ropes and she was surprised just now that some of the things that she had been following from her attachments with other teams were...not according to SOP. I wanted to tell her earlier that if let's say the freaking management drops by to check or audit, some of the things that we do..we're not supposed to. But why we had to resort to bending the rules a bit coz the SOP sucks big time and so not time efficient at all. It's definitely not possible if you have to screen a heck lot of students and happy..err..following the SOP..and happy finishing late..IF you're lucky in managing to finish up screening all the darn students.

Im surprised they didnt explain to her that we're not supposed to do those things in their presence. I thought by right they should tell them so that when it comes to these new girls' audit, they wont commit these non SOP things coz if they are penalised, they can easily blame the ones they were attached to as they based this on their observation. And who gets into trouble? Us lah! Hello wake up people. But it's okay, like what I said....Im not gonna blame them as they may have problems coping with their schedules like how we have been in this week itself excluding yesterday. Wah killer man! Had to stay past 5.35pm! This very very very seldom happens! And we're not even super slow! But they just HAD to squeeze in one class into a miserable one hour and can you imagine if half or more than half of the class has problems reading or recognising the letters? GAH!!! Plus we may have to start late too coz we have to wait for the students to wake up from their two hour plus nap time which is followed by snack. Wah, easy life man! FOr me, I may have to say 'bye bye' to my hair coz I'll most probably be pulling them out like one mad woman.

Anyway, back to my partner. It has been great..and I got this t shirt (yup, she read my mind again that I wanted to get this shirt..bwhahaha!!)..coz it will be the last time, at least for this month, we screen in Clementi.

Haha..the wordings are so cute! It's from Abercrombie and Fitch but may not be the real deal. STill who cares...it's not like Im toting some fake LV or what. Just a freaking shirt. But i like the range that I thought I should get more soon..hee..now that I know where else to get them. Too bad had to do a bit of travelling to these places..haiz..well, sometimes it's worth it..kekeke..Am planning to wear it on friday coz we have screening in Orchard Road so it's a good advertising gimmick! haha...what sore loser. ..

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Gosh...im failing in the department of finance..and to think I have self controlled myself but there were unforeseen circumstances that I had to use up quite a sum of money for each one of those circumstances. I dont know when I will reach a point where I can finally start saving up for good instead of having to dig into my savings that is just about to grow..but I had to nip it at the bud...GAH! Even if there is any additional money..and I am looking forward to saving up..something sure to happen and then I will be dwindling down the pole of financial crisis yet again that I thought it is starting to get pointless to save with those extras! I thank my mum for helping me out in ways that she can..I really appreciate her help. I seriously have no idea what to do right now...am almost at my wit's end how am I gonna try saving up for the future..like what? I dont eat at all? I dont spend at all? WHAT?!!! God knows how much I tried to say no to this and that almost suffering alone thinking if I give this up, I am able to use the money for others instead...even if it is a pathetic one or two dollars. Haven't I been punished enough for not thinking twice..no..make it thrice...in my expenditure that almost led to my downfall in May? I have learnt my lesson what! Haiz....this seriously stinks man.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Aah..shoot..came here to blog but forgot what to blog about. Oh. Before we get to that..yippeee!! I dont have to go back to the pathetic office tomorrow! Since tomorrow is full day screening, I dont have to report back but straight from the field visit to home! Yippeee!! Oh, and I promise....tomorrow I wont be stepped all over by D with his err...talkativeness like if I say a single sentence..he will retort back in sentences often trying to put me down. Okay maybe like what Mariah said, he missed me..bwhahaha!!! eww..now I remembered what I wanted to blog about.Oh, I remembered being in a hospital with my ex schoolmates a.k.a the acquintances and someone was hospitalised..dunno who.. cant remember.. coz couldnt care less. And apparently the 'patient' who was our friend ran away and we were left searching the hospital premises. But we ended up visiting another patient and we were all sitting down there. And then....a friend of mine called A started grabbing one of my hands and twisting and err..playing with it..resting the head on me shoulders..like a happy couple thingey..while the rest looked on. We were also smiling and whispering to each other and could not care less about what others thought. But in my head even that time in my own dream I didnt bear any feelings for this person. I saw it more like a friendship thingey even though he said he loves me out of dream context a.k.a. in reality. But I didnt see it as anything special out of it. Maybe just a wee bit surprising considering I didnt see this person for half a year.When I watched some youtube videos, and based on other people's experiences, the word 'i l..... you' will bring about a new level of interest between two people. Oh, especially if one of them is an idiot and needed to be told those three damn words in order to be woken up that someone is interested in him or her. But that l word can also mean...'friendship'. Unless I happen to be one of those idiots as well who cant tell if the person is crushing on me and I just brushed it off as just a friendship thingey.I went out with my friend two days ago and kinda told her about the barbeque party we went to. As usual..she was a tad bit irritating and was making noise as to why I didnt ask her along. But then again, she made noise over everything...heh. Anyway, she asked me about A and I was like..yah..he was there. But he brought a date along and she was surprised. She told me that wah..it would be a lost opportunity for me since she thought that he is a nice guy coz I did talk to her about him many times for the past few years. She had the impression that A seems to be a good choice for me since we are like almost the same built (height not included even though it helps that I like shorter guys) and that he has always been nice to me especially during my down times.Then while others may think that me now is better than me then but you know what he thought all this time even after seeing me after so long that Saturday? He still hold on to this impression that I was trying to be like others...you know..being thin..coz I felt out of place from the rest and that the only way to be accepted by them was to look like them. Wah, thats a scary thought. How do I know this? Coz he told me the next night via our online chat. He didnt say out right like that..but can he just stop thinking that Im trying to fit in?!!My friend was like telling me that hey, maybe he does like you and even more so now since he mentioned the 'l' word. I remembered thinking whenever he said that he liked me as a friend that hey, does this mean he had a crush on me?? Haha..but now..seriously speaking, it's like as if that word fell on deaf ears and I even upset him a bit when I said 'i Don need your love' coz I was a bit miffed with him after what he said about me. He was like 'oh come on..dont be like this'.. Somehow I recomposed and said that well....im a bit 'bz' so I'll get back to him on that one and it made him laugh and said something like well at least Im still the same girl that he knew. You know...if he's some guy Im totally crushing on and to say he loves me for who I am no matter how I am physically...whether I think that im fat or thin...I'll be over the freaking moon! But as sweet as it was for him to say that, it felt dead. My gal pal really thought that I should ask him out as a friend and maybe he will be really flattered that it's not 'one sided'. Yeah, right.Gawd I hate that dream and err..my gal pal too who suddenly puts meaning into something that i never gave second thoughts about. I dont know why she made it seem like I am giving up a good opportunity. There IS no opportunity! Can I just move on from here? I dont want to be stuck in the past where I had that crush on A especially when we were out on our gatherings and it was always me trying to find an opportunity to take a photo with him and then trying to sit with him. But that time it felt like A was doing what I used to do to him...u know..finding opportunities with him during photo taking. Even during the group photo thingey, I didnt want to stand beside him but instead he tried to inch so near me till I thought I could not breathe. I kinda gave him a brush off by saying that I wanted to stand beside Min because I felt awkward that there he was with me and his date was somewhere at the other end. I guess I was also rather sick and tired of them associating me with him after so long and he could just be lapping up on it as that night I didnt heap any attention on him. Then, maybe he thought that it was rather unusual of me?I suppose the months of not seeing my ex classmates for so long and then seeing them now...made me view them differently. Maybe even Mariah is thinking that D is still somehow stuck in my mind right now even though it is clear that D is beyond my limit given his marital status. Now D..he's different. I just thought that it is kinda great having a good looking guy pal..heh...who sucks at being like an elder brother to me judging from his history of giving me bad advice. Whatever it is, a dream is just a dream and it means nothing. However, sometimes a dream may arise from our incomplete thoughts. A dream can also explore the inner part of us that we try to hide such as maybe in this case, I did think about what my friend said that maybe he is crushing on me and instead, i brushed it aside citing it as just a declaration of our long term friendship. But then who knows...I may have thought of it as more than that? So in comes my dream to showcase to me what I could have truly felt. However, it was also overshadowed within my own dream itself no less by my actual thought that he will still remain as a friend to me. Missed opportunity? Well, who knows...

Welcome to Rahayupopz!

Facebook Page

Smile!

Geeky Me

Shameless Pic of Me

Subscribe Now: Feed Icon

Total Pageviews

Living Each Single Day

Hey, welcome to my little online space. I would say this is a blog of sorts, to help me sort out my thoughts. I also write about things going in my life with friends & family and being out and about in sunny Singapore. Life isn't easy, everyone knows that. While we are at it, don't forget to live life to the fullest :)