PLUS: Paulo Di Canio as Pope, the gOlden generation and two guys in Manchester getting ideas above their station

Blackburn, Bradford and (almost certainly) Bayern have knocked Arsenal out of cups this season.

But if Bale knocks them out of the Champions League qualifying places (and for Spurs to finish fourth it will almost certainly be down to him) then surely even Arsene Wenger must agree the only B he deserves is the Bum’s Rush.

Most
observers can cite ­examples of how Wenger has lost it over the past few seasons, but his most recent error was exposed by Bayern on Tuesday:
Theo Walcott.

Against Wenger’s better judgement he gave in to player, fan and media pressure to let an unproven talent demand he play as Arsenal’s central striker, after a few stunning goals against weak sides.

But in that position, against a top defence like Bayern’s, Walcott was a little boy lost.

He
looked weak, indecisive, mentally slow and out of his depth at the highest level. It was only when Olivier Giroud came on, and Walcott moved wide that he created his only chance of the night. A superb cross that nearly resulted in Giroud making it 2-2.

You
could see in Wenger’s eyes he knew it. He’d gone against his own instincts to keep people happy – and had failed to do so. It’s not his biggest mistake but it’s one he never would have made when he was at his
­clinical, trophy-winning peak.

Yet
another example of how his powers have waned and most Arsenal fans now believe he will never be that trophy-winning boss again.

Proving their metal

Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard and Rio Ferdinand are playing some of their best football of their careers.

Ashley
Cole and Jamie Carragher are the first defensive names on their club’s team-sheets. Paul Scholes is heading for another Premier League winners medal and David Beckham has just signed for a Champions League club.

Their
combined average age is 35. Meaning we owe that generation of England players a re-definition under the laws of physics. They may not have been golden but they’re proving to be as durable as tungsten.

Di Canio's a no Poper

The word from Rome is that Paolo Di Canio fancies working back in Italy.

He’s not putting himself forward to succeed Pope Benedict XVI is he? Maybe he should. Judging by the antics at Swindon Town, where every mistake was someone else’s fault, he’s certainly got a sense of ­infallibility.

Although
working against Di Canio is the fact that, with the former Hitler Youth man gone, the Vatican ­probably won’t do another fascist Pope for a while.

Watching the Pontiff retire reminds me of how, when he was elected, Glasgow Rangers hilariously took the dish Eggs Benedict off their menus in case it “offended supporters”.

Eight years later, with him gone, what’s even funnier is the prospect of the Scottish Third Division club being in a position to put upmarket Eggs Benedict back on their menu. Or
even Scotch eggs.

No chance, my Manc

There's so much wrong with Roberto Mancini’s claim that winning the Premier League,
FA Cup and the Charity Shield in 15 months, makes him the best manager in England.

Do we mention the squad the Italian inherited, the fortunes he’s spent, or that he bigs himself up when City have no European football and sit 12 points behind their neighbours?

None was as cringeful as claiming the Charity Shield as a trophy. That’s the sign of
a manager sinking like a sack of brown stuff and clinging to a meaningless bauble.

An-bition

Unsettled Brazilian midfielder Anderson believes he may have to leave Manchester United but says “the only football places I
could go to from here are Real Madrid and Barcelona.” So, running a pub
back in Rio it is then.