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Welcome to Snarkfest

Welcome to my snarky corner of the web. Join me as I discuss everything from wine to chocolate. There may be a few other topics mixed in there too. I talk a bunch about my amazing offspring, 19 and 17. I sometimes go on and on about my secret crush on the amazing Mike Rowe. I talk about things that irritate me or things that make me happy. Sometimes I just talk to hear myself talk. Feedback is always appreciated but please make sure it's respectable. No nudity or profanity. I'm the only one allowed to be profane. But any and all snark is welcome and appreciated!

Friday, November 15, 2013

Sensitivity and the teenager......

I picked 16 up from basketball practice last night and we were discussing the blog. I told her I was trying to come up with some ideas on a blog about her dad. She asked if I was going to throw him 'out of the bus' like I do with her and her sister. And I said "first of all, it's UNDER the bus, not OUT OF the bus. And B, I don't throw you guys under the bus.

Much."

She then proceeded to explain to me about how I'm always like, "Oh I'm so proud of 16, she's such an awesome kid BUT SHE MISSES THE BUS and she never listens and she does this wrong and that wrong."

I didn't think that I was being mean. I think all teenagers do a lot of the same things. Messy rooms, not doing what's asked of them, being all-consumed with the iPhone, not doing what's asked of them, no sense of urgency, then blaming everyone else when things don't go as planned. I'm not alone in this. I swear, there are other parents out there with kids who are EXACTLY like mine. I write about mine so that other moms will tell me I'm not the only one. Nothing makes me feel better than when someone else says "Oh the same thing happens in my house." Because it makes me feel like I'm NOT sucking as a parent.

These girls didn't come with any training manual, no instructions on how NOT to fuck up their lives. So it's all been trial and error for me. And after the conversation with 16 I felt like it was WAY more error than trial.

And now I'm left wondering if I'm doing more harm than good by writing about them. Blogging about stuff, writing songs when they miss the school bus. I cannot tell you how much they hate those songs. Their friends give them a hard time, their friends' parents kid them about it. I don't do it to be malicious, I do it as a release. It's frustrating to me and I turn my frustration to humor. I have to. Drinking before work is kind of frowned upon.

She says I never write about the GOOD stuff they do.

Make no mistake, I'm incredibly proud of both my daughters. You'll never meet a more proud mom. They are smart, they are beautiful, funny, caring girls. They never rob banks or kick puppies. They never make fun of hobos or break windows. They almost never steal cars. And if they hate my songs about the school bus, maybe they could try MAKING the bus more often. I've already conceded to not writing songs when they MAKE the bus (which is awesome because I'm running out of ideas), and if they never missed the bus again, I'll never have to come with another witty song, ever. Trust me, that would be just fine with me.

So let it be known here and now and henceforth that I DO love my kids, I AM proud of them, they ARE amazing girls, and I hereby apologize to them if they feel that I'm mean to them on my blog or Facebook page.

And let me also say this: being messy, missing the bus and having to be nagged are problems I am THRILLED to have. Because there are other parents out there who have to deal with their children doing drugs, drinking, teen pregnancy, health issues, behavioral problems. Trust me, if the only thing I ever have to worry about is my daughter missing the school bus, I am the luckiest mother on the face of the earth.

Blogging or drinking - I mean, seriously, it's your outlet, your choice of how to hang on to that last shred of sanity. :) I think kids complain b/c they think it's their job. I keep stock in cheese for all the WHINE I get. :D

Personally, I am proud of your daughter for standing up for herself. That says a lot about the way you are parenting. Both of you should be commended for knowing what it means to fight for what is right for you. With that being said...most teens don't talk. If she has spoken, those are really BIG, IMPORTANT words to her. Might have to work on a compromise. Or have her guest blog...THAT would be hilarious!!

So funny, Teri! My kids say the same thing--they want me to blog about the GOOD stuff they do. My answer? That's NOT the funny stuff!!!! But yes, I am grateful that the stupid things they do are just that--stupid, not horrible or dangerous.

You have a lot of nice and wonderful things you say about your daughters - I know that they are very good in Volleyball, and band. That you showcase pictures of them noting their beauty and awesomeness often. I am considering sending my kids your way, since you have done such an awesome job raising your girls ;) I'll even throw in the hubs too!!

Let them know that one day they can blog about you when you can't make it to the bathroom and they have to change your Depends. They are both musically talented so I am sure the songs will be AWESOME!!!

Your girls are amazing. We all know that. I hope they read the comments on here and see how proud you are of them and that we all know it! All of the awesome stuff is the stuff they glance over because they're kids - they see the bad stuff versus the whole picture. You always have amazing pictures of them. I've met them and am a better person for knowing them - the things they do in band and volleyball....and being able to sit at a table with adults and converse is amazing.

Sing it sister. See, your 1st mistake was telling them about your blog. My kids & husband know, but I keep it hush hush & they basically never read it so they don't know I'm trashing them. Seriously, though, I totally relate. My husband doesn't like when I write about him, which I hardly do, & he probably thinks I'm being mean toward the kids, but it is such a RELEASE. If we have to deal with it, the least they can do it handle reading it. Plus, she's a teenager and a little dramatic, am I right? I think the deal you struck about the bus is totally fair.