Hi
am a saddo remote worker and have few ppl to exchange friday funnies with so here is one for you guys:

An elderly man in Northern Mississippi had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

OK, I am afraid that you've asked for it now and I have to retaliate. (I am expecting to be barred from this forum soon after for promoting animal cruelty)

A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"
Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: ''Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!''

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, ''Got any nails?''
Confused, the bartender says no.

Here is one from my teaching days: A teacher had a little boy in her class that couldn't pronounce the letter "R". She wrote a sentence hoping to help him----Robert gave Richard a Rap in the Ribs for Roasting the Rabbit so Rare. The student went home to practice and the next day came to class all excited. "I can say it now, Teacher". "Bob gave Dick a poke in the side for not cooking the bunny enough"!!!!!!

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