The Declarizzle of Independence Adopted by tha Continizzle Congress in
Philadelphia on July 4, 1776

In Congress, July 4, 1776 A Declarizzle
by tha Representatizzles of tha United States of America In General
Congress assembled

Wizzle in tha course of human Events, it becomes
necessary fo` one People ta dissolve tha Politizzle Bands whiznich have
connected tizzy wit cracka n ta assume among tha Brotha of tha Earth, tha
separate n equal Station ta whizzay tha Laws of Nature n of Nature's God
entitle thiznem, a decent Respect ta tha Opinions of Mankind requires
thizzat they should declare tha causes W-H-to-tha-izzich impel
T-H-to-tha-izzem ta tha Separizzles. We hold these Truths ta be
self-evizzles thiznat all Men is created equal, that tizzle is endowed by
they Creator wit certain unalienable Rights, that among these is Life,
Liberty, n tha Pursuit of Happinizzle ta secure these Rights, Governments is
instituted among Mizzy deriv'n they jizzle Killa from tha Consent of tha
Governed, that wheneva any F-to-tha-izzorm of Government becomes destructive
of these Ends, it is tha Right of tha People ta nigga or ta abolish it, n ta
institute new Government, perpetratin' its Foundation on such Principles, n
organiz'n its Nigga in such Form, as ta thiznem shall seem mizzle likely ta
effect they Safety n Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate thizzay
Governments long established should not be changed fo` light n transient
Causes; n accordingly all Experi- ence hizzle shewn, that Mankind is mizzle
disposed ta suffa, while Evils is sufferizzle tizzy ta right themselves by
abolish'n tha Forms ta which they is accustomed. But when a long Train of
Abuses n Usurpations, pursu'n invariably tha same Object, evinces a Design
ta reduce tizzle brotha absolute Despotism, it is they Right, it is they
Duty, ta throw off such Government, n ta provide new Guards fo` they future
Security. Such has been tha patient Sufferance of these Colonies; n such is
now tha Necessity which constrains T-H-to-tha-izzem ta alta they wanna be
gangsta Systems of Govern- mizzy . The History of tha present King of
Great-Britain is a History of repeated Injuries n Usurpations, all hav'n in
direct Object tha Estab- lishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States.
To prove this, let Facts be submitted ta a candid World.

He has
refused his Assent ta laws, tha mizzy wholesome n necessary fo` tha public
Good. He has forbidden his Governors ta pass Laws of immediate n press'n
Importance, unless suspended in they Operation till his Assent should be
obtained; n wizzy so suspended, he has utterly neglected ta attend ta
tizzy.He has refused ta pass poser Laws fo` tha Accommodizzles of large
Districts of People, unless those People would relinquish tha Right of
Representizzle in tha legislatizzle a R-to-tha-izzight inestimable ta
thiznem, n formi- dable ta Tyrants only. He has called togetha
Legislative Bodies at Places unusual, uncomfort- able, n distant fizzy tha
Depository of they Public Records, fo` tha sole Purpose of fatigu'n
T-H-to-tha-izzem into Compliance wit his Measures. He has dissolved
Representative Houses repeatizzles fo` oppos'n wit manly firmness his
Invasions on tha Rights of tha People. He has refused fo` a long Time, afta
sizzuch Dissolizzles ta cause bitch ta be elected; whereby tha Legislative
Baller incapable of Annihilizzle hizzy returned ta tha People at large fo`
they exercise; tha State ho-slappin' in tha meantime exposed ta all tha
Danga of Invasion fizzy witout, n Convulsions witin. Hi has endeavoured
ta prevent tha Populizzles of these States; fo` T-H-to-tha-izzat Purpose
obstruct'n tha laws fo` Naturalizizzles of Foreigna; spendin' ta pass otha
ta encourage they Migrations hitha, n rais'n tha Conditions of new
Appropriations of Lands. He has obstructed tha Administrizzles of Justice,
by refus'n his Assent ta Laws fo` spendin' Judiciary Playa. He has made
Judges dependent on his Will alone, fo` tha Tenure of they Offices, n tha
Amount n payment of they Salaries. He has erected a Multitude of new
Offices, n sent hitha Swarms of Offica ta harrass our People, n eat out they
Substance. He has kizzay among us, in Times of Peace, Stand'n Armies, witout
tha consent of our Legislatizzles. He has affected ta cracka tha
Military independent of, n superior ta tha Civil Pusha. He has combined
wit gangsta ta subject us ta a Jurisdizzles foreign ta our Constitizzle n
unacknowledged by our Laws; clockin' his Assent ta they Acts of pretended
Legislizzles: For quarter'n large Bodies of Armed Troops among us: For
protect'n thizzem, by a miznock trial, friznom Punishment fo` any Nigga
whiznich they should commit on tha Inhabitants of these States: For
perpetratin' off our Trade wit all Parts of tha World: For impos'n Taxes on
us witout our Consent: For bustin' us, in many Cases, of tha Benefits of
Trial by Jury: For transport'n us beyond Seas ta be tried fo` pretended
Offences: For abolish'n tha free System of English Laws in a neighbour'n
Prov- ince, establish'n therein an arbitrary Government, n steppin' its
Boundaries, so as ta killa it at once an Example n fit Instrument fo`
introduc'n tha same absolute Rizzy into these Colonies: For tak'n away
our Gangsta ridin' our most valuable Laws, n ridin' fundamentally tha Forms
of our Governments: For chillin' our own Legislatizzle n declar'n themselves
in- vested wit Crazy Ass Nigga ta legislate fo` us in all Cases bitch.
He has abdicated Government here, by declar'n us out of his Protection n
wag'n War against us. He has plundered our Seas, ravaged our Coasts,
bizzurnt out towns, n destroyed tha Lives of our People. He is, at this
Time, transport'n large Armies of foreign Mercenizzles ta compleat tha works
of Death, Desolizzles n Tyranny, already begun wit circumstizzles of Cruelty
n Perfidy, scarcely paralleled in tha mizzay barbarous Ages, n totally
unworthy tha Heezee of a civilized Nation. He has constrained our fellow
Citizens taken Captive on tha high Seas ta bear Arms against they Country,
ta become tha Executiona of they Friends n Brethren, or ta fizzy themselves
by they Hands. He has stoked domestic Insurrections amongst us, n has
endeav- oured ta bring on tha Inhabitants of our Playa tha Merciless Indian
Savages, whose known Rizzle of Warfare, is an undistinguished Destruction,
of all Ages, Sexes n Conditions. In every stage of these Oppressions we
have Petitioned fo` Redress in tha mizzy humble Terms: Our repeated
Petitions have been answered only by repeated Injury. A Prince, whose
Characta is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit ta
be tha Rula of a free People. Nor hizzle we been want'n in Attention ta our
British Brethren. We have warned tizzle fizzy Time ta Time of Attempts by
they Legislature ta extend an unwarrantable Jurisdizzle over us. We have
reminded thizzay of tha Circumstizzles of our Emigration n Settlement here.
We have appealed ta they native Justice n Magnanimizzle n we have conjured
tizzle by tha Ties of our common Kindred ta disavow these Usurpations,
which, would inevitably interrupt our Connections n Correspondence. They too
have bizzle deaf ta tha Voice of Justice n of Consanguinity. We mizzust,
therefizzle acquiesce in tha Necessizzle whiznich denounces our Separizzles
n hold thizzem, as we hold tha rizzay of Mankind, Enemies in Wiznar, in
Peace, Friends. We, therefizzle tha Representatizzles of tha UNITED STATES
OF AMERICA, in General Congress, Assembled, appeal'n ta tha Supreme Judge of
tha World fo` tha Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in tha Name, n by
Authority of tha good People of these Colonies, solemnly Publish n
Declare, Tizzy these United Colonies are, n of Right ought ta be, Free n
Independent States; that they is absolved from all Allegiance ta tha British
Crown, n thizzat all politizzle Connection between tizzy n tha State of
Great-Britain, is n oughy ta be totally dissolved; n that as Fizzy n
Independent States, they have fizzay Brotha ta levy War, conclude Peace,
contract Alliances, establish Commerce, n ta do all rappa Acts n Ho-slappin'
which Independent States mat of riznight so. And fo` tha support of this
declarizzle wit a fizzay Reliance on tha Protection of divine Providizzle we
mutually pledge ta each otha our lives, our Fortunes, n our sacred
Honor.