Buddy, Can You Spare Some Quality Time

December 26, 2010

Effective communication is very important to me.I believe, as author Susan Scott says,Conversations are the relationship.And, we’re always in relationship.First with ourselves and then with others.To help facilitate that understanding,I distributed 20+ copies of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapmanthis holiday season.It’s not my favorite relationship book,mainly because Chapman’scontinual reference to “keeping your love tanks full”sounds queer and because I find his Christian finger-wagging atthe dangers of trying to satisfylove irresponsibly (read: via sex)unnecessary to this otherwisestraightforward communication model.Chapman believes we each prefer & respond best toone of five primary love languages:Words of affirmationGiftsActs of serviceQuality time Physical touchin not just romantic relationships, all relationships.It turns out, doing unto others is not the way to go.Unless, you happen to sharethe same love language.Better to figure out whatthose with whom you share a relationship prefer and get onboard with that.Or, you can do like my client did.Call me and say“just tell me what to do.”It’s my pleasure to provide that act of servicein exchange for some quality time.