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Q: I am continually seeing young women post on Facebook, “if you want to come to my wedding, bridal shower, baby shower, etc. you need to message me your address.” I find this extremely tacky. Isn’t the honoree supposed to put together a guest list and gather the needed addresses? Or is that thing of the past? What do you think?

A general announcement like that is DEFINITELY tacky. I think it’s also tacky when people send out an email or FB message to a whole bunch of people asking for addresses. Invariably, someone ends up hitting “reply all” and then their address gets shared with a bunch of people who do not care. It is best to contact people individually to get their address. Yes, this takes a long time (especially if your guest list is long!), but no one said being a proper host was easy!

Hi! I disagree with the Emily Post statement that said when a person of the opposite sex brakes up wit you, you should met in private and work it out. No tht is not true, my husband hasbeen cheating on me and I didn’t even know it, and he came home from work, I was cooking, and he came into the kitchen, I said what I just cooked I tapped him on the shoulder, he said something, but I couldnt hear him, I tapped again on the shoulder, he turned around and almost choked me to death, I could talk, breath and I ran up stairs crying. I went to the hospital, drove myself and my neck was swollen and bleeding, I was a mental case, the hospital called the police, they went to my home arrested him, the police told me o get a PFA, and now I am at the house and I went into a drawer and found evidence he was cheating. He was trying to get rid of meto be with her. He is a correctional guard at a prison. He wasn’t trying to kill m he just wanted me to get out. Well I am glad it went public and he is 63 and he should know better. I think to give advise one should first find out what the person hasgone through before keeping it private. I don’t want to talk to him ever again in private, because he could have killd me!!!!Hurt

Hurt, I’m sorry you experienced all of that, it sounds horrible. I’m not sure which piece of advice you are referring to. Generally speaking, etiquette is useful in normal, non-emergency situations. It may have been the case that the advice was suggesting that people fight or have serious conversations about their relationships in private rather than in public.

If someone breaks up with you, it is absolutely not necessary to get together to discuss it after the fact (unless both parties want that). If there is a threat of assault or stalking, all etiquette niceties go out the window. You do not have to be nice or polite to someone that is threatening you, you don’t have to respond (actually you should not respond) to someone stalking you. Take case of yourself!