So you're living in a trendy studio apartment and you keep your sweaters under the sink and your bed rolls up into your oven. But what about your tools? You could just leave them on your coffee table, disguised as a Christmas cookie.

This is the Code-38 Pro Stealth, also known as the $410 corkscrew. Four hundred and ten dollars make for "a complete blend of blasted textures and vaporized titanium based finishes" that opens bottles and uncorks wine. Which is fucking ridiculous.

It's not even lunchtime yet, but already I'm dreaming of that first glass of vino collapso. What? It's practically the holidays. Let me get on with my boozehound ways—preferably with this Bosch power drill-corkscrew-hybrid.

I am a bit of a wine snob, if I do say so myself. Every time I am ready to crack open that bottle of Boone's Farm I have to make sure I know it is the right temperature for consuming. That stuff is pretty classy at $3 per bottle, and I wouldn't want to ruin a bottle by compromising its flavor. Checking wine…