SACKED AGAIN

In other news, cancer has been cured, the war in Iraq is over, we captured Osama, the deficit has been paid off, traffic in Chicago has been fixed, and I found a girlfriend.

That last one's a joke. Obviously.

The important thing we learned this week is things actually can change in Chicago. Problems can be solved

I'm not ready to take the bag off yet, but as we enter spring, it's time to think about rebirth and healing.

A caveat, however. Change in Chicago moves at a glacier's pace.

It takes more than a little patience, and you have to be OK with the thought that maybe you won't be around to see the good stuff.

Based on the fact it took roughly 25 years to see that Cubs ownership wasn't working, I pulled out the old calibration machine and crunched some numbers based on the events of this week:

-- The Wirtzes realize that the Blackhawks could use fresh blood, so they sell Chicago's hockey team in 2042.

-- The McCaskeys come to their senses and realize that even with the new Soldier Field, they can't compete with other owners in terms of brains and savvy. They finally sell the Bears in '09. 2109. In a stunning move, the new ownership group, led by Patrick McSomething and Andy Fitzsomethingelse, decides that the quarterback position will be a priority.

-- After sticking with younger core players who finish second in the East for the next 35 years, Jerry Reinsdorf sells the Bulls to the biggest company in the world--ESPN (pop. 8,642,865). Yes, it's a conflict of interest, but nobody can stop it because ESPN has grown to the third largest country in the world.

After the purchase, the Bulls decide to rebuild. Eighty-year-old Kevin Garnett is still mentioned in trade talks.

So there it is. If you can survive the Cubs, you owe it yourself to hang around long enough to see the rest of this happen.