Hello Henpals Hello boys Whoa Desmond you can come and sleep here anytime, we dont mind how early it is, infact we would love you to come to keep us save from our new THAA, can you believe it henpals, not one hour did pass when this new intruder with the most scraggy looking coat of feathers you ever did see pecked and yelled at my lovely Audders and chased me away from OUR food!Rose and Violet do you know you are going on holiday? Your mum posted on her diary about it so I hope one of you has the role of sneaky, nosey, henpal i.e. special undercover henpal and know about it already!Wonder if there will be boys in your holiday chalets? We want to know all about your exploits when you get home.Fay Wray grey Woo PInkWriting this pecariously with the grey ninja beside me!Woo wooPink Woo Ladies divisionSorry our Honey I promised to write more regular, I will try in future

(Keeping with the etiquette of Captains Gabby and Gwen I shall start properly)Hello Henpals I am not sure what the Pink Ladies are upto these days, but writing up their diaries seems to have stalled. The only explanation I can come up with is Fay Wray (who is a Woo dontcha know) must be worried she will drop her communication device since there always seems to be a right todo when she , the big orange fluff ball known as Audders and the re- feathering newbie bluebelle who defintely has an inner raptor gene go to bed. There seems to be a lot of arguing and jostling, I can only hear them as they sleep two divisions of the Pink Palace away from me. We , that is myself and five of my sisters,all retire for the night upon the duckhouse. It is a perfect spot, we are up, we have the nice open air breeze and we can nose about. This perfect evening gathering does not last very long though, every night Aunty Pink comes and offloads us into our bedroom. Apparently I am the very good girl , I let her pick me up , I put my feet ready and find my stance on the perch very easily…unlike my sisters! Nancy and Ivy are very heavy girls, they flap their wings in Aunty Pink's face . Lavendar Lil squawks and makes a fuss, Miriam goes mental and grabs onto Aunty Pink's arms, digging her claws in while Rita acts all good but as soon as she is put on the perch she jumps down again. Why am I good? Because making a fuss will make no difference we all end up in the coop in the end and it gives me some good brownie points. Brownie points are very important I believe as we know Aunty Pink loved her brownie girl, the late Honeybun very, very much. I think is is brownie points, it may be ginger points as on the Pink Palace there is a sign that says beware the ginger ninjas?Suranne, who is no longer waiting for her chicks to hatch( very Queen Mary 1st is Suranne) is now shedding everywhere, has no tail and a tiny pink comb, sleeps inside the duckhouse along with the cottonwool girls Thelma and Louise. I expect Suranne enjoys the warmth from the fluff balls being half naked but I wouldn't want to sleep with smelly Thelma, yuck! Aunty Ped has nearly sorted the problem out, she cut tons of feathers full of poo off of her last week and again today. Honestly her hygiene is not the best, preen girl preen!I have to say there I do like Aunty Pink looking after us everyday, we get our breakfast on time, we get clean water everyday(hmmm I like my water messy and mucky) we get new bedding like we did yesterday and we get to watch her poo picking, this is a good game because one or another of us make sure we poo where she has just cleaned up so sometimes she is going around in circles and of course we get treats. The downside is we d not get yummy chips, garlicky naan bread, cakes and curry.Today ( out daddy is away) we got mouldy sweetcorn, yuck! The little delicious corns were all green and tasted very odd so we left them.Well I am going to sign out now, I will visit again very soon with tales of my seven normal sisters and the Woo sister.Jennifer Ped (aka Jenhen)The PedsNo more green sweetcorn Pllleaasssseee

I have had the honour of making a representation to the head of the cat owners . I told her to her face they MUST share more cat food , remove all mice and rats stop running on the roof waking us up and leave the cousins alone in the trees. She was amazed at the demands and was shocked at the presentation I gave her to pass on. Will await a reply when she passes it on to the wild cats in Purfleet /Thame`s.Press was taking pictures which was not asked for and I have put a complaint in as it was the wrong side profile.More up dates from Frog my press officer .Desmond Rep. Flocks of Penelope Red and all gone before.PS Chops has passed the news on over the bridge.

trouble at the flock , rumour has it that WE are being sent away as not fit . Fat fighters camp in darkest ESSEX . Fun boxes are stacked and the old girls , Champ are telling me moves are a claw... No treats , no garden , no kitchens and dogs /cat food. I tell you not happy . Going to let the world now about . A crow for help is needed .Called a flock meeting tonight . Desmond Frog says she is now recovered and hiding from the scary people.Pumpkins are horrid .... why so many.

Hello Henpals Hello boysHello Desmond Since your post we have attempted a broadcast to all flocks, we have got as far as the Pink Ladies I think the trouble is we don't speak crow, we know exactly what they sound like because they make a hell of a noise outside our homes. Our languages are not very good I am afraid, we understand magpie, it is get out of my spot you are in my space, but crow has flummoxed us. Even if we did manage to speak to one we have no idea where to send them and what they could do for you. We know Rosie and Violet went off to a holiday camp recently and wonder if that is where you are going to? Quite honestly if they give you a nice bed, a decent breakfast and of course a chicken's right, treats then you should be fine. I don't expect you will have any communciation devices packed? Try and see if you can smuggle one in under a fluffly girl. I am a bit worried all you cat training may have been in vain as while you are away they will get upto their old habits of not sharing their food with you, and we know you will be away for quite a time as FayWray(who is a Woo doncha know) has been spying, sorry fulfulling her recognitive duties and read that your daddy is going to the other side of the world which must be as far away from the Ped palace to your palace We can only hope you are going to Maplins and not Tweedy's farm and wish you luck and health.We have been having a very blustery time here, the wind has been blowing up my fluffly rear feathers quite fiercely , this has been a bit embarrassing for Thelma as she still has quite an unsightly bottie. After her spa, Aunty Pink siad the poo that was too far up would have to grow down as apparently gallons of water wouldn't shift it.Our own Rita (who is a Woo doncha know) has become seriously Mary 1st. She does not leave the duckhouse unless Aunty Pink or daddy Ped gets her out, this is when I am glad I am not sleeping in the duckhouse. Not only is Rita in there with the usuals Suranne,Thelma and Louise but Nancy is now sleeping in there permantely too, Nancy is BIG. Not as big as Ivy mind who has trouble squeezing in the duckhouse as that is where we all lay, well when we feel like it. I am sure I have read on here about a ban on laying? Cannot remember what it acheived but any sort of naughty behaviour sounds good to me as long as we still get treats mind you. I was going to tell you about my Ped sisters but have decided the post will need photos so will do so later.Def later, Aunty Ped is coming over the bridge with a bowl full of SWEETCORN on little cobs I must get my place at the front of the queue…Jen the hen(copied that from Gwen)The Ped girlsYELLOW sweetcorn rules

SWEET SWEET FREEDOM!!! Insted of avin to ang aroun waitin for mum to hopen ar door, wot she never does in time, we was right up an hout today which was marviloos! Dory Grey dashed straight into er idin place, she as got right shy an retirin since she is avin the world's longest moult ever. Not like my moult - bish, bash, bosh done!

Welcome Jen the Hen an great to see new broadcasts from the Peds. Now all we need is the Pink Ladies to update an we can get crackin on some plan atchin. I feel we is close to LOSIN the battle for more treats. Especially as the teeny door in the big door as slowed down an is DEFINLY dispensin less treats, and absolutely no pies whatsoever. On the plus side, we did ave sardines the ovver day as Dory Grey is lookin so sad an scruffy. But a girl can't exist on a sardine or three every year so the House of the Revlootion (that's us) think it's time to get back to the plannin and atchin.

But first of course is the plan to rescue the House of Penny an Red from their kidnapin an incarceration. We need specialist advice an Dory Grey as read the hentire enpals diary from start to finish hagen, an as seen that Wiggy the Woomesiter was once kidnapd an so will ave brilliant tactics an tips on ow to havoid it, an ow to get free once kidnapd. Sadly The Ron, oo was a nexpert on this, is no longer wiv us an asen left her brains behind in the chiken manifesto, wot is a sad oversight we feel.

Of course, wot we is really good at in the House of the Revlootion is fake kidnapin an ransom notes. Admitidly we aven actually ad massive bags of mealworms from ar campaigns of fake kidnapin Dory Grey, but we is honin ar skills. It's only a matter of time.

Finally, we ear that the spookiest time of the year is happroachin fast an so we fink that it would be brilliant to ave a nenpals alloween party! Wiv spooky stories an woo-wooo noises (wot the Woos can easily make) an apples to peck an everyfing!

Hello Henpal Hello Boys I am very sorry but you are going to have to put up with me, yes a Ped posting for the time being. It seems the last bit of power, and for Audders dignity is not revealing to the new THAA of the Pink Ladies is the communication device so for the time being Veronica, veronnie has no idea us henpals plot and scheme and moan about out THAA's. I dont think it will last for long mind you as Veronnie seems very savvy, i mean a gentle bluebelle(our Ivy is gentle which is great as she is so BIG) who takes a microsecond , which is an equivalent of scoffing a mealworm, to become the boss of her brand new home must have plenty of intelligence. Our daddy is away this weekend so I am expecting big treats form our Aunty, after all a few days ago I let her know how much I loved her by sitting on her head! We are not sure what we can do to save the girls and boys from the house of Penelope and Red, we understand the Pink Ladies are refusing to lay any eggs with the exception of the silver slivers whos eggs are so puny they dont really count anyway. Mind you the reason they may not be laying is because 1. Veronnie is a pensioner, 2. Fay is a Woo doncha know and 3. Audders is having to fight for her number 2 position, yes she and Fay have been squaring upto one another now and then!Tiddly we loved your video, you are so lovely and ginger and so lucky to have someone sit with you so you can have some nice nestly lap time, only Thelma has been getting on Aunty's lap but as scissors are usually involved I thought it best to sit upon Aunty's head. Your sister Dory is one wild Woo isn't she, think she should respect your space!Well off to doze now in anticipation of an excellent breakfast from Aunty tomorrowJen the hen PedPed house

Hello Henpals Hello Boys Well it is me posting again as the Pink Ladies are in a right array! They are extremely worried there will soon be no more money to buy treats as one of the bonzai banshees , Lottie (who makes out Lottie is short for Lotus Blossom) is having oodles of cash spent on at the moment. She goes to the vets, most henpals describe the vet as the scary needle person but apparently no needles have yet to be adminstered, to have her foot rebandaged. It seems the diva has stood on something rather sharp that caused a nasty deep cut and lots of unlady like pus. It really amuses us she comes back with a different coloured plaster on her heavily bandaged foot everytime. She is having to live in a hamsters cage so I suppose some sympathy for her should be forthcoming.Hmmm hamsters, know they sound delicious Fay the weird and nutty (and a Woo dontcha know) is sprouting feathers all over very slowly, while Audders is running about clacking and fussing. Veronica on the other hand is having to put up with weird looking liquids shoved down her throat, this must be good for her and we sincerely hope this will help her lose the annoying gutterall sound she has been making. So you see the Pink Ladies are having a fine time of it!I have attempted to round my ladies up, well they arent mine I am no THAA but I feel we must actually look like we are plotting

We are eager to know who the new uppity upstart is who has landed in with Tiddly and Dory Gray (who is also a Woo dontcha know) and are wondering if Dory will retain the illustrious role of THAAWe are worried about Desmond et al…no communication from the kidnapped group for so long!And we would like to say how sad we are at the loss of Daisy from the house of chickenopolis And all henpals everywhere, whether you are diary henpals or not lots of to Queenie, come on girlie

I am top hen AND ALL of the House of the Revlootion, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Since I have grown spikes on my head and not feathers, I have decided to embrace my inner raptor, and I am not to be messed with!

And this is a fact, henpals!

You may have heard rumours that we have an uppity upstart moved in with us. This is also a fact and therefore true henpals! She had a go at Tiggs through the wire, and Tiggs defended herself valiantly even though she is all moulty and under the weather. So I got a bit worried about her having a go at me through the wire, or even worse in person! Now, as you all know I do have mixed feelings about being top hen and all, what with it being a position cursed with high mortality rates, but then I thought - I get the treats. So I have used mysterious secret Woo techniqes, which I can't go into as they are secret and only for Woos, to preserve my top hen and all status, and of course they worked like a charm! I have the uppity upstart right where I want her, which is running away afraid

Tiggs has also hung on to her position as my wing girl, most probably through the fight through the wire.

Mum has, very shockingly, given the uppity upstart free run of our garden today, which is an absolute disgrace and that's another fact! So I will be spending all day on UU Garden Patrol, preserving my top hen and all status through a constant campaign of pecks, and squawks and of course the top secret Woo techniques which I am not at liberty to divulge to non-Woos.

Of course, all our best wishes for rapid recoveries go to the Pink Sparkly and her fashion parade of bandages, and to Veronica, and most of all Queenie who we hear has been very ill, and we are still waiting on an update to her condition. We hope the news is better. And of course we would like to send our condolences to Mistah Bill and the Opolouses on the very sad loss of Daisy

Must go now henpals, I have important Pecking Order duties to attend to!

Well wot a tryin day it's bin an no mistake! The huppity hupstart wot mum as brought into ar run as now bin given the free run of ar gardin! A shockin turn of affairs! Luckily me an Dory Grey ave asserted ar orthority all over the place an put this brazen UU right low down in the peckin order. Dory as been takin lessins from Casper, oo left er tactics for dealin with UUs in the back of Captin Gabby's Important Etikette Notes for Chikens. Casper advises playin it dead cool, like, an so me an Dory ave bin doing this all day yesterday, then Casper sez to keep the helement of surprise an ave loads of right goes at the UU while stalkin them round the gardin. Dory as taken this advice to heart an as bin terrerizin the UU all day.

I myself doan need to resort to such measures, because I ave perfected The Looook. Jus one of my patented The Looooks does the trick. While Dory is wastin energy stalkin the UU around, I jus does The Looook, and bish bash bosh job done. I hadvise all enpals hadd this into their Tactikal Manuals.

I do ave one particlar threat to deal with from the UU. She seems to fink that she is hallowed to sit on mum's knees. Well, obviously this is wrong. I ave given er The Looook a few times but I fink I need somefink a bit stronger, as she is still gettin up. I shall ave to perfect The Looooooooook, wiv maybe a likle pek at the end.

In the meantime, I am atchin plans to use this situation to my hadvantage. I reckon if I can fake kidnap the UU, mum will probly miss er an pay a ransom, say a massive bag of garvos an everyfing. If mum asen got a massive bag of garvos, she can ask for Wiggy's. It's a foolproof plan!

Well, as you know, after years of working my way up the ranks doing the flock thing, I became a solo hen quite a while ago. And folks say, "Wouldn't you rather be one of many?" Now it's a bit chilly without someone to snuggle up to, but you know what, Tiddly, after reading your tale of upset and tactics and bad vibes, I have to come clean and say, "No, that is just not the Wiggy way, dude".

Because, Henpals, I was never cut out to be a Private, Corporal or Captain. I am a dreamer, a pacifist, a hippy chick. I don't want to join in some pecking order, because that really harshes my mellow. I just want to be me, with time to think and scratch and occasionally try out being a dude, dude. So henceforth, I will be your pal, but I won't be a member of some arbitrary hierarchical construct.

"They laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at them because they are all the same."

Dory Grey woulda bin writin this ere enpals post but she is still tryin to decript Wiggy's last post, wot she sez is filled wiv hiden meenins and deep filosofikal secret messiges. Dory sez the post was so deep an meeninful that it could take er all year to trooly understand this new way of life wot Wiggy as reveeled. Dory sez she wants to be mellow, y'all, too.

Unfortunately Dory sez the inhumane conditions wot she is forced to subsist in are the very hopposite of mellow-makin, and I fink this is a reference to the fact that Dory as a new harch henemy! A new scary cat as bin terrerisin us all an Dory Grey mostly all week, an Pokey as offishul Marleywatcher seems to be unable to cope. Maybe because it isn't Marley, an so Marleywatch is inhefectual. The new scary blue heyed cat as partikerly taken to followin Dory round ar gardin, an Dory as bin flying to right high up places to hescape an then avin to be rescued by mum or dad. So now Dory woan come out of ar run, even before the new killer white stuff invaded it!

Very scary times hindeed enpals!

Pokey, upon seein ar run an gardin all white, clucked around squealin "It's the end of days! The end of days!" because the sky was dark an she fought the sun aden come out. Dory an me ad to hexplain that it was cos the killer white stuff was on ar roof. Pokey isn't the sharpest beak in the coop, but she is filled wiv bags of henergy so she makes up for it in sheer henthusiasm. This can take a nenpal a long way.

Heniways, must go enpals as we is tryin to figure out how not to walk on the killer white stuff, as we will get killed if we do, an ow to get the killer white stuff off our roof an out of ar run! This is a job for mum an dad we finks. But how to get them to do it?? That's the chin-scratcher enpals!

up date from the flock of Penelope and Red .Desmond has been rather vocal since some new upstarts have arrived and I Capt. Chaos have had a black neck collar on again as my voice has been heard all the time , must mean I am the boss. (Well when Desmond not around ) Champ has got VIP treatment and look at him in the big coop . Big secret how he did it (his leg .) I think he is to old for the girls now (HA HA ) more for me ....Being the youngest free ranger now of the boys (new upstarts are all locked up. Which is good as they are bigger than me , not as big as Desmond though .poor Silver has died and pass the knowledge to Chocolate . Girls are egg resting and us boys are watching but our dances are wasted on them.I could say it is all quite in the garden but us boys are not going to let that happen are we.Plenty of treats as bribes but not having that , well we eat the treats but still crow our hearts out.Hope all are good this festive time and rumour has it the glow in the dark is a big red nose .(I think it is a humans lights on ) and treats will fall from the air . So far all we got is cold white wet stuff and a lock up days.Capt. Chaos.

We ere that this ere crismis is a right himportant festival for the hoomans an so we is all lookin forward to massive piles of treats an everyfing. We want ar crismis dinners agen! We ad em las year an they was luvly - all luvly sprouts an carrits an yummy crismis pud an heven roastie pertaters! Well, Pokey doesen remember cos she wasen ere, but me an Dory Grey does!

We ave done loads of readin up habout the hoomans crismis traditions an we are gonna rite a crismis note wiv ar list of demands for santa, wich is mainly a massive box of quality streets wot we ere is a hooman treat an Dory Grey sez must be like a kind of mealworm. So we is avin some of that. We opes we also gets some min spies. We doan no wot they is but we ere they is delicious, so we is avin some of them as well. An of course crismis pud an crismis dinner. We might as well hask for a massive bag of garvos as well wile were at it. We ere Santa is very haccomodatin at this time of year.

Pokey as bin gettin into the crismis spirit an all, especially since me an Dory sang the Enpals Carol wot Casper wrote for us all. So Pokey as bin hadaptin well known hooman carols for enpal purposes an as come up wiv these brilliant titles:

We finks they is brilliant! Pokey so far asen changed any of the hooman words in the carol so we can't sing any of em, but she is showin potenshul eh enpals?

She did go a bit all over the place this week though, wen the killer white stuff (wich diden acshually kill us although you would think it ad the way Dory Grey was carryin on) went away but then ar water went all frozen or as our much missed THAA Remie woulda sed, went all wrong an ard. Pokey ran round heverywhere cluckin "We're all DOOMED!" till me an Dory tole er it was just the water going a bit off like, an would be fine wen mum comes along an makes it go all sloshy agen. Onesly, she as got a LOT to lern habout the ways of the world enpals.

No more visits from Dory Greys harch henemy so far this week. Possibly the killer white stuff as killed it. Dory opes so henyway, she is relaxin a lot more now that she finks she isen going to be stalked an eaten by the scary weird cat.

Dory Grey as hasked me to hask Wiggy, er new lifestyle guru, wot she is gettin fer crismis. Because wotever it is, Dory wants one too.

Must go now enpals, we as long crismis letters to write to Pokey is on poo duty

Finally, we mus send get well soon wishes to Champ, oo we ere as broke is leg!!! E is on henforced bedrest an is livin it up in the big ouse wiv the hooman. I might try that myself. An get well soon wishes to Little Mo oo is very sick indeed

An of course condolences to all floks on their recent losses, hespecially Penny an Reds oo ave suffered several lately.

Have got visitor rights to Champ and volunteered first before any of the greedy girls in the flock found out. Champ is doing well by the look of his food bowl which is always full and his bedside grapes and mealworms go down a TREAT. I stay for as long as it takes to eat them all . He passed messages for the flock and said his dancing is very much restricted and that soon as his right hook is fixed the new boy upstarts better watch out , why are they still here anyway... Bit worried as now along lasting member of the flock ....Good times for all Quaker the friendly girl (if you have treats )