Cunty McBackflaps is dead. Annoyingly so is the end because this doesn't go anywhere. So it seems I've gone off somewhere in the wrong direction. Honestly can't think of anywhere I've not been but obviously I'm missing something. The cripple was on about Old Yarnham and chalice doodahs and I've found one. But this hasn't done a lot. Ah well I'll just have to go poking about again.

Basically I got a good reading on an attack to parry. But the final bit was a cock. I got so close a few times only to just be harassed to death. I just couldn't get close enough without getting poisoned to finish him off. But then I did and it was alright.

Will check my stream back but I'm certain at one point he jumped through 3 pillars. The lock on in this fight was shoddy. Camera slightly less of a pain but the pillars did cause it to go right up my back at points which obviously was immensely distracting.

The Watching Artist wrote:Cunty McBackflaps is dead. Annoyingly so is the end because this doesn't go anywhere. So it seems I've gone off somewhere in the wrong direction. Honestly can't think of anywhere I've not been but obviously I'm missing something. The cripple was on about Old Yarnham and chalice doodahs and I've found one. But this hasn't done a lot. Ah well I'll just have to go poking about again.

Basically I got a good reading on an attack to parry. But the final bit was a cock. I got so close a few times only to just be harassed to death. I just couldn't get close enough without getting poisoned to finish him off. But then I did and it was alright.

Will check my stream back but I'm certain at one point he jumped through 3 pillars. The lock on in this fight was shoddy. Camera slightly less of a pain but the pillars did cause it to go right up my back at points which obviously was immensely distracting.

Bloodborne has a whole load of sidepaths. It kind of feels that it branches into mainline and optional at every major point. If you're still unsure of where you're going you'll want to head up some stairs from the chapel with the guy in red robes, rather than down some stairs to Old Yharnam.

The chalice is also used to access the chalice dungeons from the hunter's workshop. If you place the chalice on one of the gravestones on the left hand side you can generate an optional dungeon to explore. There's nothing special, bit of loot and unique bosses in later ones, but I'd just focus on the main game for now.

Started this fairly recently myself. New to PS4 and basically bought up the GOTY edition of this, Dark Souls 2 SotFS and Dark Souls 3 Deluxe Edition all at the same time on the PS store sale...probably wishful thinking that I'm ever going to get anywhere near completing them.

Have been making good progress with Bloodborne but had a double whammy of picking up and getting rather addicted to Everybody's Golf alongside getting totally and utterly stuck on the Shadow of Yarnam fight. I've actually opened up the lantern outside Old Yarnam but haven't actually gone in there yet. I've been putting off re-visiting the SoY fight for a day or two but am probably going to have another crack at it tomorrow. Oh the joy

The grab attack. Seems to be able to get you when your so wide you are almost behind him as he passes. Then at points its practically a one hit kill. Damage from each part of the attack. Instant poisoning. He got me once and I didn't quite have full health. So I died just before I could heal or cure it. But I was also immediately attacked so I would have had to dodge the strawberry float out of there by which point I would have died anyway. Either by getting hit or the poison.

So in order to progress I went to the Old Yarnam lantern and worked my way backwards. Ended up back at the chapel with the only discovery that some new enemies had turned up. A thing in a cloak with a sack and some glowing attack. I tried to kill it. It kicked me gently and I lost about 80% of my health. I ran away. Got back to the chapel to find a door had suddenly opened. I am 100% sure this door was shut and couldn't be opened when I was there before. It was just closed. But no more. I've done nothing to make it open. If this was the way I was meant to go then this bit is gooseberry fool. I'd say broken but obviously its meant to be like this. Found a lift. Spotted the secret in the lift. Found a rune. Ended up finding more runes later and I don't seem to be able to use them yet..... So up the lift I went. Found this tower. Had flashbacks of the Anor Londo Archer bastards. Fortunately it was nothing like that dogshit. Spotted one of the little furry thing running away and I chased it down the tower and murdered it. I now couldn't go back up. And the only way forward was down. And down was dark. Very dark. And very far.....

I thought a wolf was at the bottom but its wasn't a wolf. Whatever it was I was more scared of the "platforming" which says a lot because this thing had horns and threw fire at me. I killed it. This led to a shortcut and I poked about a bit, returned to the tower and went up. Found a locked door. So headed back up the massive set of steps and found some gates to open. Some more talking doors. Then I killed a really ugly looking squid/ood thing through a wall. From a level below. Oh the jank. This time you helped me. It made a horrible sound.

Then found a door with someone wanting a password. But before that I found a note (rather lazily just laying somewhere) saying blah blah needed a password that was to do with the cathedral blah blah. So next time I shall go to the cathedral.

I'm enjoying exploring. The only downside is I'm starting to tire of this place. Its all a bit samey and grey. But I guess its still very early on.

Right then. So I found the main cathedral. I explored to either side but didn't want to go too far out the way in case they went on forever like Old Yawnham. On the right hand side I did find a dick that spammed a gun. Just over and over and over again. I killed him but man was it tedious. "Bless us with blood." Then I discovered Vicar Amelia Pond. Proper facebook profile pic vs. real life moment. Took about 5 attempts I think. It was....... ok. Room was too thin so the camera would zoom behind me (again). Her moves were so large that inevitably I would be rubbing up against the wall and not really be able to see anything. It wasn't as bad as previous fights though. The columns sticking out didn't help matters. Was a bit frustrated by a few moments when one attack just seemed to combo me to death. There was one grab move that had her chomp me then slam me to death which seemed really very cheap. I was a bit too aggressive at points to. I liked that you could stun her by hitting the injured arm. But hitting it seemed a little erratic. In fact a few times when up close it seemed to miss for no reason. The self healing was a bit cheap but not poison cheap. I wailed away on her but I'd always run out of stamina and not do enough damage.

Unfortunately I had to go farm for blood echoes and vials again. When it comes to the boss fights I hate the vial system. It's a........... vile system. Huhuhuhuh. It punishes you for surviving longer in fights. Its so stupid. But in the end I just did it. Tried to parry a few attacks but either got the timing wrong or I couldn't. Seemed too risky. Got the password and headed off to that place and beyond. The Forbidden Woods...... Well that was tense. But I got all the way through to the shortcut without dying. It was very Resi 4. Could see the traps. I did fall down one wooden thing. Not the big one in the middle of the houses, although I did do that out of curiosity as something was down there. Tried to take on another sackman. Nope! Found Devlin throwing Irn-bru at me. A dig killed itself running into fire. Twice. Made it past the canoncunt ok. Just before I found the lift I was in a building (was it a windmill?) and there was this one guy standing with his back to me. But the sounds. I knew it wasn't right. So I chucked a molotov at him. Barely did any damage and then he turned into a snakehead thing so I legged it. I'd come too far to die now. Ran past another snakehead and found my sweet precious shortcut. I imagine this is what Blightown and Sens Fortress were meant to be like if they were not a load of gooseberry fool. Hopefully the canon guy is signposted or doesn't do a lot of damage because if that had killed me and I didn't know it was there I would have gone apeshit.

Got given something to do with drunk blood by the kiddies in the dream. I dunno. Oh and some chap wanted me to join his gang. Dunno what this does. All that guff confused me in DS to. Ah well. I'll carry on through the woods soon.

The covenants in Bloodborne are weird. There used to be three, which were entirely PvP based. If you were in one and summoned the other, even as a partner, you'd be hostile, with the third just being a crazy wildcard that will possibly be hostile to anyone because strawberry float it.

The guy in the forest is the only pure co-op covenant. But it's still REALLY awkward.

It was a dumb system, to be honest, because if you're summoning help why would you then want to fight someone extra? It's really not worth it in Bloodborne.

At least Dark Souls III had the courtyard where you'd get 4 factions running around at random all fighting each other.

Bloody hell. Getting there. First off I decided to try and find the place this tonsil stone mentioned. It said to go to the right side of the cathedral but you know, that kind of depends on what way you are facing. It said to look for a church and in one direction there were building that might have been a church. But nothing seemed to happen. I could have gone further but I decided to go back the other way. Went through a cave and found another forest area but with things that come out the ground and lots of gun men and stuff. So I decided to leave it for now and go back to the where I was last night with the snakeheads.....

Flipping heck. All I could see for about 1 hour was trees, the ground, gravestones and snakes. Cant say I really enjoyed this bit. Obviously you are meant to feel lost but I found the lack of a decent landmark rather irritating. It all looked the same and it got a bit boring going in circles. On the whole I'd say it felt like a more refined version of a Shitetown type place. Just with no flying bugs that go through walls/floors and no cheap falling deaths. Its even got enemies that shoot something poison at you but you can actually see them here. Just. The snakeheads themselves are rather twatish. A mess of attacks that sometimes can just combo you to death. Eventually I found a body of water with fireflies and a boar. Also a cave with blue things in. And thankfully a shortcut. A shortcut that involves 2 lifts though. I also went on to find another shortcut (if it really is that) that was really lazy. Just a gate in a fence that could only be opened one way. No lock or key or lever or bar or anything like that. Just gooseberry fool. I'm sure I've missed things here. But I eventually found a space that looked very boss room like....

The shadow of Yawnham appeared. I'm not sure how to describe my feeling for this boss fight. Firstly I beat it on my 2nd attempt. But I had a lot of elements from some DS bosses. The Bellend Gargoyles, with the flame guy who has an area attack. This meant sometimes I simply couldn't see what the others were doing as everything was fire. Fatty and Spotty from DS as well, with a melee chap and projectile chap chucked in along side fireguy. Its a mix of sheer cuntitude. Only made worse by a lock on that does what it wants and seemed stubborn to switch its target. And of course that their attacks go right through each other. I found working around the massive gravestone seemed to work and hitting the projectile one easiest. But if other got near I tried to take them on to. They turned into snake things and I killed the projectile chap. Now the fire one had a GoT flaming sword and they both had magic stretchoarms. A cheap move. One which I think led to me getting hit by "nothing". It either went through the gravestone or the floor. Possibly both. This then killed me. Was absolute bullcrap. It was the non flame guy. So quick like a whip and such reach and it didn't matter if things were in the way. The second time round was just much the same. But as I knew they had a transformation bit I went aggressive then whilst they were helpless. Got projectile man again. Then got hacked off by the chip whip move. But killed him eventually. Then it was one on one and the guy made snakes come out the ground (which happened behind me so I couldn't see them but they could still reach me so bollocks to that to) but then I was down to my last 2 vials* but I just got up close and wailed on him and he died. It was over. It was a boss fight that frankly had plenty of gooseberry fool to it. Yet I only needed 2 tries so it doesn't feel so bad right now. But I can imagine for some this might have been hell. Music was cool.

*these were my last in the game so if I had died I would have to go farming yet again.

I then went on to find A LANTERN ALMOST IMMEDIATELY Why put some so close together but not put others in more useful places? I had a quick poke about in Burgerworth but didn't have long. I killed some Brundleflies and had my brain sucked out by an ood.

I need to ask about something though. There have been at least 4 or 5 times in the game so far where me character has just decided to sit down or put his arms in the air or something else. Its happened in fights. In boss fights. Just exploring. It very nearly killed me today. Probably did the other night against Gazza. WTF is this?

Can confirm its the waggle. Can confirm rapid pressing also seems to do it. I can't see a way to turn it off though. Also what do people do with the target option?

Rather then go back to Burgerworth I went back to try and find this church to the right of the Grand Cathedral. After a bit of a pain in the area with all the snipers I got to the village of the crazy ladies. I progessed well opening up a couple of shortcuts. Then died before I made it up to the building on the hill. I really quite liked this area actually. Nicely paced with the dark barn and the rooftop action. Anyway I got back and took on the boss. Took care of her two (hurhur) on my first attempt. Was probably the most interesting boss fight yet. Only thing was maybe the respawning part was a bit cheap and it was a little silly how you could pummel the witch and not actually hit her. Should have made it more obvious she was vanishing as it just looked stupid. I found the workshop tool but this didn't feel like the church I went looking for. It was still pretty damn good though.

So I headed in the other direction. On the way I decided to try the sackman again. I thought I could get him but the damage he does. Er..... I died. And then I was in some other place. I found a lantern and left. I'll be back though. I eventually found what might have been the church. It made more sense when suddenly a giant Lovecraftian Wallmaster appeared and probably killed me. Then I was back at Uni. I chatted with Anakin Skywalker. My tutor looked like that blob thing to. The design of that was hilarious. And then I went to some awesome looking place where I've got no idea whatwhyeven. This bit felt like it might be DLC. Whilst I loved the look of the place I didn't really see the point of it so I wasn't that bothered when I died so I stopped.