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Friday, October 5, 2012

Not-So-Secretly

"The only way to get
rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with
longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its
monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful."

~Oscar
Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

My love affair of pocketbooks and shoes has been
life long. My mother had always dressed me in the cutest outfits, of
which were always accessorized with matching hair clips and bubblies, and a
haute pocketbook!!! Mom's friends would put money and candy into them whenever
they saw me...little did everyone know, they were all feeding my addiction to
The Material. My grandmother, a diva all in her own right, was very fabulous.
Since her youth in Guyana and throughout her life in America, she was known as
"Princess" to everyone who knew her. Always so chic and poised. Never
without a beautiful pair of heels, a gorgeous purse, and long, finely polished
nails. She and mom raised me to always take pride in the way I look...(You
never know who's watching *wink*). I was born to be a fashionista (read:
"fashion slave!") in my own way, and how could I deny my roots? They
say, "Nature Versus Nurture", but in my case, both bred the same
ideals! Inescapable! Indeed, I followed suit. This is when the story really
began:

Every school year, mom would buy me new shoes, but
I can recall one very specific school year, that was a defining moment in
my love affair for all things lovely. For fourth grade, Mommy bought a
gorgeous pair of brown patent leather crocodile embossed loafers! Oh Was I In-Love!!! The lovely new
leather smell, the deep variations of browns imbedded in the
leather, the texture of croc-embossment, the shine of the patent
leather...As I lightly ran my fingertips over the shoes, with a twinkle in my
eyes...in my mind, I secretly whispered, "Yesss!" Later that evening,
being tucked into bed before school in the morning, I asked mom to pass my new
box of shoes....and she laid the box next to me. I awoke the next morning, as
if from a dream of clouds and wonderment...and all was well. And since then, I
knew...this addiction was deadly.

Within the last three years, I have accumulated a
collection that is Vibrant, Funky, and Oh-So-ME!
I've always purchased purses and shoes that I felt said: "ME". However, while in
my last years of college, I became part of the TPF community, specifically the
Rebecca Minkoff subforum and forged online friendships with many lovely ladies,
who encourage and feed my purse addiction, always with the best intentions. My
purse collection began to become more polished, with more contemporary handbag and shoe brands, finding a distinctive style
emanating "youth & beauty", which is a playful nature I hope never to lose, even in my 70's. Forever will I be young, pretty and happy, even in my old age, when I'm crawling with warts, hemorrhoids, and afflicted with terrible arthritis! I love life too much to let those things keep me from popping color and love! I love all kinds of purses and shoes...as long as I find something that calls to my identity, whether it's cheap or costs several
hundred dollars...I'll make it my own. You can't walk away from destiny!

Within one year, I have developed another craving
that wets my appetite...daily! NAIL POLISH! I
stopped biting my nails last fall, and began conditioning them with protein
treatments and cuticle oils/cremes, as well as buying a polish here and there
to wear so as to not be tempted to destroy my newly grown tips. (Gross! Who wants to chew on paint pigments?! Polish is a great deterrent!) I followed the
Nail Care sub-forum on TPF, admiring from afar, the lovely manicured
fingertips of so many different women. And suddenly...VOILA! Out came a
nail polish addiction from the fiery ashes of chewed nail bits, as though my newly manicured hands arose from the depths of bitten-nail-tips-hell, springing to life with new growth like a fiery, blossoming phoenix! Sizzlinggggg! Oh, the wonders
of beautiful clear bottles filled with love, hope, happiness and desire!!! What
more can you ask for in a product?! It's all too easy to accumulate a
collection for these beauties...and what an expensive and time-consuming
addiction they have become! Purses and Shoes have taken a backseat, (in another
car!), after I had succumbed to the polish craze. With every bottle I open, the
cutest little fairies fly out and shower me with their glittering fairy dust!!!
C`est Magnifiquè!

Ella Fitzgerald had it right...well before I knew I would have these obsessions, this woman described
my love affair for my beloved Trifecta so clearly. I gaze at my beautifully polished nails in
amazement, I caressingly brush my fingertips across the smooth or grained leather
of a finely made purse, filled with joy, and I prance around in gorgeous heels
or oxfords that cause me to skip, spin, and release a laughter so heavy, so
pleasurable, I smile to myself! And when it's time for each manicure to be
removed, and when I must lay a purse or shoe to sleep in her closet...the
parting is so sweet, never sorrowful...and gently I whisper, "Je t'adore mi
amor...until next time."