13 April 2012

Project 366 and life updates

I know there has been a bit of radio silence from me since December, and I've gotten messages from people telling me they miss my photos, and as my last post was a formspring question; someone likes to see more blog posts. This is a personal kinda blog post to tell you what's been going on.

David Allen's "Getting Things Done" arrived today. It's book #3 in my "stop procrastinating, start being organized" plan. It's no secret I'm behind on uploading my 366. For a long time I did still take photos, the past couple of weeks, I barely did. I still want to finish it, but maybe not with a photo a day. Not because I don't have the time, I could do it. Right now, I'm uninspired and unsatisfied with what I do. My views have changed a lot in the mean time, the way I live my life and the way I want to live my life have changed. I have to go looking for what I want again, what kind of style I want, which stories I want to tell with my photography. Project 366 is a great way to practice, but I feel I've come to a point where I have to be more picky with my work, and put more effort into it.One of the reasons I put off uploading was because I didn't like the photos. I will not upload the ones I really dislike anymore. I will upload the ones I like, but don't love, because I hope to get constructive criticism on them, and because I do like a slight overview of what I do. But I won't upload everything anymore, which will also mean the uploading will go slightly faster because there's a bit less choosing and editing to do.
I numbered the days in my diary, so each number will be accurate, but there will be numbers missing.May 23 will still be day 366, I just won't have a photo for each day.

Besides that, I need to get my personal website in order and create an actual portfolio. And I want to shoot more models but that still scares me. My high school friends had accepted that I take photos of them, and that I'd like them as models from time to time, my new friends still have to get used to it and it makes me anxious. Funny how I still get so insecure about my photos when I want to ask someone to pose for me. Main reason I really need to do more shoots with models.

These past months have been a lot of soul searching and focus on self-development. The first half of 2011 wasn't a good year for me and I've felt horribly lost and alone. The second half went a whole lot better as I found my place again. 2012 is all about getting happier about who I am and what I do. Getting behind on uploading is not one of the things I wanted to do, but just happened and I'm sorry for that. There's no real excuse for it. I just hope you will stick with me while I'm on this journey of finding out who I am and what I want. I appreciate every contact add, follow, comment, fave, like on facebook, reblog on tumblr... everything. And I will get it all in order. Just give me time to change my habits and catch up with my massive to do list. I want to do everything and preferably all at once but I know that doesn't really work so I have to prioritize and school is still my priority. But photography has been, is and always will be immensely important to me. I will get up to date and I will keep taking photos. Step by step... okay?

This is a bit of a ramble, but I just thought you all deserved some explanation.Thank you all so much, you're all amazing ♥

It was so great to read a blog post from you - I have missed your photos too. I really understand what you mean though as it sounds exactly the same as what I have been going through the last months, years even. And if I have learnt anything at all from this let's organize life thing, it is that after all, it's you and your life that matters the most, that one should do photography and all the projects for themselves, not for others. I hope we'll be seeing plenty of photos from you soon, but I do hope you won't be taking too much stress over all the people following you & what they want. :)