Friday, October 22, 2010

BSNYC Friday Self-Flagellation Session!

Firstly, as I mentioned yesterday, I will be unhooking a BRA tomorrow at 4:30pm at Cyclesport bike shop in Park Ridge, NJ. In addition to giving a short presentation, if enough people show up with Serottas, I will hold an impromptu Serotta pageant and award some sort of prize (such as a t-shirt that will turn you into a walking advertisement for this blog) to the winner. Of course, this is contingent upon anybody showing up at all, though I can't imagine there's anything better to do in that part of Jersey at 4:30pm on a Saturday--and if there is, I'd like to know about it, so that I can blow off my own BRA and partake in it as well.

That's an entire weekend of bike dorkery and some light bathroom reading, all for the low, low price of $30. You'd have to be crazy not to take advantage of these big, big savings! What else are you going to do with $30, anyway? Get your genome sequenced? All that's going to tell you is that you're carrying the genetic marker for being crazy for not taking advantage of these big, big savings.

Speaking of "crazy," it is often used interchangeably with the word "zany," and Zany Bicycle Cockpits (or "ZBCs") continue to trickle in for the First (And Last) Annual BSNYC/RTMS Cockpit of the Year Award (or "Cockies"), the finalists of which I will decide at precisely the moment I get around to it. Unfortunately, since these "Cockie" submissions are more tardy than a messenger running the "Spokane tubeless," they are officially ineligible, though still entertaining. For example, here's one rider busting a sweet "elephant trunk skid" with some shopping cart bars:

And here's another late submission direct from the plumbing supply section at the Home Depot:

This car bumper cockpit, on the other hand, was submitted on time and in accordance with the contest rules, and thus will receive the full consideration of the jury:

Pending all of that, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right try not to wet your shants with excitement, and if you're wrong you'll see the fixed-gear crotch cam, forwarded by a reader.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and keep your hands on your "cockie."

--BSNYC/RTMS

1) Which kangaroo deterrent has been "Protecting Australians Since 1986?"

Born Robert Lee FrostMarch 26, 1874(1874-03-26)San Francisco, California,United States Died January 29, 1963 (aged 88)Boston, Massachusetts,United States Occupation Poet, Playwright Robert Lee Frost (March 26, 1874 – January 29, 1963) was an American poet. He is highly regarded for his realistic depictions of rural life and his command of American colloquial speech.[1] His work frequently employed settings from rural life in New England in the early twentieth century, using them to examine complex social and philosophical themes. A popular and often-quoted poet, Frost was honored frequently during his lifetime, receiving four Pulitzer Prizes for Poetry.

The watch and sweatshirt in the [disembodied] hand sure look like they belong to the Lone Wolf. Perhaps all the photos we've seen of the Lone Wolf have been drive-side only and we've not seen the Lotus graphic on the non-drive side before.

Mr. Snob - I will repeat. The Lehigh Valley is desperate for a BRA. There are many fine bookstores and bike shops that would host you. Please consider a visit. I'd come and I bet I can get 1 - 1.5 friends to come. It would be worth your while.

Murder of couriers? Yes please. For the love of god, can we just go paperless already so we don't have to be subjected to any more bike messenger films. If I want to hear a completely oblivious moron poser wax inanely I'll go to williamsburg. I would rather spoon with the Lone Wolf than watch 2 more minutes of that trailer. well maybe not.

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I own a Serrotta and I live approximately a two-hour's drive from the BRA, but I am too despondent about my quiz performance to leave my bed tomorrow. The courier trailer did not help. What does he mean "almost shit my pants"? It probably happens several times a day while he is punching jaywalkers.

Being a courier is like....you know someone gives you like a box or like an..envelope and like you just gotta like deliver it you know? So like I like riiiide my bike and like I don't even think Ijust like do it, cuz I'm like a ninja..you know?

Has this been covered yet? I was legitimately looking for an axe holster for work when I came across it. I swear. Note the ring on the right that would hold a pretty ax(e) pretty well.http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2009/09/hips-on-with-fabric-horse-superhero-utility-belt/And please Snob, shoot this next one down in flames like a 'Pista Flambee'. It's hard to know where to start but most notably they have stepped outside what us suckers thought were the narrow and unwavering confines of reality by designing: "...a fixed gear racing bike that allows better gear shifting...". At least they have addressed the pressing issue of visibility for track racing after dark. http://www.thedesignblog.org/entry/trotl-bike-001-replaces-chain-with-a-belt-for-steady-propulsion/By the way, I've designed a new way to write/spell "designer". Here is a rendering of my concept: "DuMBasSFUCkER". ce

BSNYC, here in the rural south we see very few bike commuters. It is common here to see commuters riding big box store bikes, often unsuited for the use. I assume these people are riding bikes just because they do not have access, at least at the time, to a car.

It is common to see these people being bike salmons. Just this past week, I have been frightened by them by meeting them in traffic and having to worry about being hit myself because I had to stop to keep from hitting them.

These bike salmons I easily forgive. I just assume they are people of limited abilities for whatever reason, but today I saw a Salmon that was just going too far. There was a guy on a motorcycle, Harley, or similar large motorcycle, being a salmon in rush hour (5:30pm) traffic on a very busy 4 lane road. A bicyclist being a salmon is one thing, a guy on a Harley doing the same????

Anon 12:31 AM -- I took a look at that bike design -- it's amazing! In the interest of cool looks it does away with all the triangulation that makes a bike so strong. It'd fold like an accordion the first time you hit a bump.

Before anyone becomes a "designer" they should study engineering for a couple years -- oh, I forgot, you have to know math for that, and Barbie tells us that Math is Hard! Oh well, forget it.

I ride the Custis Trail all the time. Its not really "VA Start to Finnnnish" though. He stops the video right at its intersection with the Washington and Old Dominion which goes another 70 miles deeper into VA. Real bikers always get into the VA a lot deeper.

I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right try not to wet your shants with excitement, and if you're wrong you'll see the fixed-gear crotch cam, forwarded by a reader. west covina plumbing

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!