CAUGHT BETWEEN A COCK AND A HARD PLACE. “A Modern New York City Girl’s Dilemma”

The “New York-ette”, we (who live in the city or surrounding 50 mile radius) have all been exposed to her. But what makes this Sex And The City over glamorized creature tick? The answer: Social Conditioning. I actually blame myself and my fellow male counterparts for putting the pressure on these helpless vixens who not only are CEO’s of companies but are actually in the Army these days. Chauvinist you say? Perhaps compared to a full fledge butch bull dike lesbian named Thelma but looks more like Lewis rather than Louise. Let’s face it, women have lost something and it could be pinned on us men for making them lose it. It’s called, “femininity” and it’s a dying characteristic here in New York City.

You would think it’s the opposite with all the beauty commercials, advertisements and anti aging propaganda used to form or condition our wonderful city gals. But all the smoke and mirrors cost a pretty penny and it may not be in Penny’s destiny to be so pretty unless she can afford the tools, for herself and male suitors. Beauty has a price and in one of the most critical markets for looks in the country, plastic surgeons, beauticians, stylists and everyone else involved in the non essential sector of “life” can charge premiums.

In current society we so often set an expiration date on women so they are pressured to go to school, make a career, sew their seeds, find a male counterpart, get married and somehow have a super rock star life all before 30. The new trend has been to perhaps give up the hard place, (years of school, climbing the corporate ladder, sacrificing the feminine youth years of frivolity to “earn” their way to the top) and go for the cock. The cock has advantages. More time to concentrate on things like, yoga, lustful nights, more socializing, later mornings sleeping in rather than running to get the morning coffee, less stress and perhaps – God forbid, a more youthful natural look. I say, find a man. Go and get that Mr. Right Now because there is no Mr. Right. Men are not natural born gentlemen we are all out for the hunt and eventually the kill. Marriage is an institution to curtail or try to prevent us from hunting the range and killing whatever we wish as we until we fill full. Believe me, that’s a positive person’s view on things because the negative looks a bit more bleak.

Social Conditioning, (according to Wikepedia – am I really quoting Wikepedia??? I’m conditioned) is something that homogenizes a large amount of people into a certain distinctive mold; for example, people who style/dress in nearly identical ways can be seen as products of social conditioning. Another example is this seemingly intangible expectation/pressure for people to look certain ways, buy certain things, behave certain ways in order to appeal to other people.It can also be referred to in New York as the male pressure for women to appear, feel, act and be “young” for as long as possible.

Speaking with a friend the other day who is 29 she mentioned to me that it was almost all over for her, she was turning 30 next month and she was wondering what man would want a 30 year old woman. She said “men want 22 year old women, any age man, whether they are 25, 35 or 55, they all want 22 year old women.” I felt bad for her, so I rang my 20 year old female friend and had a few glasses of Montepulciano to discuss this topic. You know what she said? She asked me how my 29 year old female friend looked. I showed her a photo and her response was “she looks like she is young, 22 or 23.” I didn’t know if this was a confirmation of the 30 is fatal clause or if I should have texted the all too good news to my 29 year old female friend.

It’s all Social Conditioning. The desire to conquer the hard place as a woman yet still be able to attract that cock. What is left for the traditional female role player? She is labeled as a gold digger or even a prostitute. Is that the price of femininity? Is that the option for not participating in the Hard Place but the Cock? Can’t a girl just go on dates and have a non high profile job or career and just want to somehow use her looks to gain entry into fabulous lifestyle? Is that so bad? According to many of us, YES. Of course if she is a supermodel or Playboy Playmate or some sort of “legitimized” sexual poster or media goddess, then it’s accepted.

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When I was a beautiful 22 year-old woman in New York, the only men I could find to date “old” millionaires who thought I just wanted sex, i.e. this condition was expected of me. I just wanted a guy my own age and a normal family life. So I LEFT NEW YORK. You can too!!

I think the point of the article is that Mr. Big or for that matter Mr. Joe about town is always looking for another slice to ‘nibble’ on and in effect this has perpetuated mass insecurity amongst many young women who are grappling with assuaging their femininity and the post feminist movement which says a woman should assert her own destiny, but so often at the risk of their perceived shelf life. A shelf life that the media shamelessly exploits forcing woman to live up to idealized version of themselves.

Even Pizza if left out to long becomes stale, no matter how tasty it initially came out of the oven…

Interesting. You make some valid points but I think more and more women are already going for the cock for the lifestyle, only problem is, with all the cocks having been slaughtered or their balls clipped somewhat in this last economic cycle, the guys offering the cock for the lifestyle are fewer and often only are looking for an interim fling or a quick piece of ass because there is at present an over abundance of women in New York City willing to forget the idea of a career for a nice stable life at home that someone else is providing. To hook a big time player for the long haul is very tricky. Mr. Big, if he truly is Mr. Big, wants many slices of Pizza, not just one. And unless your Pizza is from Lombardi’s in Soho, chances are he is headed to another parlour after sampling yours.

About

I think the idea to start “Scallywag and Vagabond.” (SCV) originates from my myriad background and the many years I have spent in preferred cafes and brasseries extolling the virtues and subtle intricacies of ‘being’ as the Beaujolais ran, the cigarette wafted and the gentleman to my side pontificated while spraying himself with a deftly tied cravat and sun crested idolatry.’

I grew up in Australia where as a young man one was obliged to become a hero of sorts. A master swimmer, fighter of causes, ideals and disheveled denizen of aesthetics, and more often a carefree ‘larrikin’ who would occasionally poke his sun bronzed nose at authority and convention Read More