I am a former Pentecostal evangelist who renounced his beliefs for atheism in 1994. I have decided to write a blog where I share my thoughts and ideas about Christianity in general and the biblical God.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Jesus lives in me because I feel his spirit!

"I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few." Adolf Hitler

As many of you know who have read my deconversion story on this very blog I was once an evangelist of a Spanish fundamentalist Pentecostal church. One of the most prominent features of Pentecostalism is that they were literalists in the way that they read and interpreted the scriptures. They believed that the Bible was the inerrant word of God and because of this belief tended to take Christianity to an extreme level not so common with other sects of the faith.

7Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.
8To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit,
9to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit,
10to
another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another
distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds
of tongues,
and to still another the interpretation of tongues.11All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines. 1 Corinthians 12:7-11

Believers immersed in the Spirit of God or so they think.

Another feature of Pentecostalism is that their faith is not based on reason; for the most part it is based on their personal subjective experiences which they interpret as God's Spirit working through them or within them. The reason I opened this post with a Hitler quote is that this particular quote has a lot of relevance to this subject and it also reveals the main reason that atheists cannot convince through any amount of argument or persuasion a Pentecostal or other member of a similar charismatic movement of the falsity of their faith.

Noted Christian apologist William Lane Craig

Even the noted Christian apologist William Lane Craig who claims to be believing in a 'Reasonable Faith' as the title of his book states has fallen victim to the delusion of subjective experience as evidence of the veracity of his beliefs. He has often stated in his debates, writings, and interviews:"Should a conflict arise between the witness of the Holy Spirit to the
fundamental truth of the Christian faith and beliefs based on argument
and evidence, then it is the former which must take precedence over the
latter, not vice versa. [William Lane Craig, Reasonable Faith: Christian Truth and Apologetics, (Revised edition, Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 1994), p. 36.]

This is why fundamentalists are not phased by arguments based on reason or evidence at all! It's not about what objective or empirical evidence can seemingly prove or not. It's about what they "feel" within their "hearts." It's literally like trying to talk to a wall! For them this is a badge of honor to believe in the impossible or unbelievable without the requirement for evidence.That is why they call it faith and why faith is true despite what we have learned from reality.

Faith is the Christians shield against reason!

Contrary to what some atheists who have never experienced the Holy Spirit personally: I can state with certainty that not everyone is faking it! I know I wasn't. I can say this because when I was in the ministry I had believed that at one time or another I had been given and used at one time or another all nine of the gifts of the Spirit as outlined in 1 Corinthians 12:7-11. I spoke in tongues, prophesied, many testified to having been healed, discerned spirits, etc. in Jesus name. I believed that God had blessed me with his spiritual gifts and their powers as a result of it. I felt currents of electricity course through my body as I layed hands on the sick and prayed for many while I preached or ministered to their spiritual needs. I always gave God the thanks and the glory for working through me and using me as his vessel.

But before I was an evangelist I was on the receiving end as well. I have been "slain in the Spirit" and I have discovered since then what really was going on inside me at the time. There are two ways to reach this so called trance like euphoria one appears to be experiencing which they believe to be the effects of the Holy Spirit. There is the slow methodical route which basically consists of the evangelist speaking in a low tone of voice and getting everyone to relax so that they can hear the still small voice of the Spirit. You talk about sin and wanting to be a better Christian and if you have a piano or an organ playing soft music in the background, even better. You reach them emotionally by telling them what they want to hear.

The second way is through the complete opposite. You play loud and fast music in the background you yell at the top of your lungs into the mic and tell them what they want to hear. When you have them in an emotional state through either methodology the believers are in a highly suggestive state. They will follow your instructions to the letter hoping to feel a touch from God. This will manifest itself in euphoria, joy, unconsciousness, excessive crying, and a loss of control over ones emotions. Once you are riding this roller coaster of emotion you are now ready to begin speaking in tongues from what appears to be within yourself (spirit).

If you have been paying attention you will notice that this actually sounds quite familiar. That's because it is! These same techniques are used often by stage hypnotists and even professional clinical hypnotists. The only difference is that your clients (believers) are already automatically primed because of their previous and existing indoctrination into the belief system. Typically all you are doing is reinforcing it. Now not all evangelists are even aware that they are doing this, as I certainly was not. But there are some that know exactly what they are doing and take advantage of the ignorance and gullibility of these people.

The believers truly think that what they are experiencing when they pray at home alone or in church at service when they worship God with the rest of the congregation that they are feeling his Holy Spirit! How can you ever expect to convince someone who has had this experience otherwise? My journey towards atheism was a journey I undertook myself and it was one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life. It's hard to get all of that indoctrination out of your head when you have seemingly had so many "divine encounters" and seemingly experienced the power of God right before your eyes.

What believers fail to see is that these experiences are not unique to Christianity. Many of the worlds religions and their adherents seek to experience the divine and claim as do the Christians to experience their gods presence and witness his miracle working power. How do you account for that? Well, I think that the above description does one hell of a job of explaining this. Indoctrination is the key element in the whole process. Once you get them to believe whatever it is you need them to believe and you get them to commit mind, body, and spirit to those beliefs then the rest is bound to happen.

Note: All biblical citations are taken from the New International Version of the scriptures. Other sources have been linked to within the text.

5 comments:

The effects of all of the singing, shouting, and hand waving varies from person to person, but it all comes down to the effects on one's emotions, one's adrenalin flow, and the interaction of other endorphins in the human body. A few become truly addicted to those effects, and their bodies are able to simulate the effect by merely kneeling and praying. Some are able to separate the emotional "kick" from reality, while, sadly, others are not.

My own reaction to the few religious "rallies" I attended in youth was that they were rather silly. While I admit to being moved, even a bit excited, by all of the gyrations and song, the effect was, fortunately, not very lasting. Reality still waited just outside the entrance to the tent.

Very often those who are most affected are those who are "searching for meaning" or other unreachable emotional satisfaction. For those, faith is like a drug. Some under the influence can be rehabilitated with a strong dose of reality, while others, sadly, will never see beyond their delusions.

Thanks for your comment Paul. You are absolutely right about how different people respond to the effects of their own emotions. I started out like everyone else letting my own emotions carry me into a so called spiritual frenzy but as time progressed I was finding that I could willfully control my reactions.

39Therefore, my brothers and sisters, be eager to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. 40But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way. 1 Corinthians 14:39 (NIV)

When I first read this text and its context I realized that what I saw and experienced in church was chaotic and contrary to the scriptures. I then interpreted that it was a sign of spiritual immaturity. Once I was able to control my emotions while channeling what I thought at the time was God's power I was having a lot more success as an evangelist and with my ministry.

When I was a Christian I also used to feel the holy spirit and speak in tongues etc. But it never lasted and for me that was a reason I think why I was always searching. My rational was why would I not feel that way all the time. Now that I understand how it all works, it is no longer surprising that I cannot feel that way all the time as the body would crash. Just like anything too much of a good thing is not good for you.

About Me

From 1990-1994 I was a Pentecostal evangelist from a very fundamentalist literalist church. At the time I believed I was saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Ghost!
In those days I lived, ate, and slept the gospel. During the week I was in church on Tuesdays Thursdays, and Sunday's. On Saturday and Sunday I was usually on one of two of Brooklyn, NY street corners preaching the gospel with my partner in the ministry. My specialty was exorcisms aka as a deliverance ministry.
I believed I walked and talked with Jesus in those days every minute of every hour. I was as fanactically entrenched in my beliefs as any one could possibly be.
I have been an atheist since 1994 when I abandoned my church and former beliefs. But it was not easy and no one was able to get me to the realization that my beliefs were false and my experiences a delusion. It took my reading the Bible in its entirety to realize that the God of the Bible was not worthy of worship and was not love. I saw more morality in myself than I did in the biblical monster