11 embarrassing relationship milestones every couple goes through

Unfortunately, relationships aren’t just cutesie dates and staring lovingly into each other’s eyes – there’s a lot of pretty rank, embarrassing stuff we have to get through too, including admitting you poo (we don’t really boys, it’s a vicious lie).

How many of these cringeworthy milestones have you ticked off the list?

1. Dribbling

It’s Sunday afternoon and you’re snuggled up on the sofa together watching Come Dine With Me repeats. You both nod off around the time one of the contestants gets so drunk they’re sick in the host’s toilet, and when you wake up you realise there’s a sizeable dribble stain on your boyfriend’s T-shirt. Oh you.

2. Picking your feet

There’s nothing more satisfying than peeling off a bit of dry foot skin, is there? While you’d normally save this for nights in alone, you know you’ve hit a relationship peak when you’re picking off skin and toenails on your boyfriend’s floor while he’s clipping his off into the same pile of body debris.

3. Wax scooping

You’re sat a little too closely to your bf and you can just see a little bit of wax he’s missed with his cotton bud. It’s only friendly that you stick your little finger in and scoop it out for him, right?

4. Farting

The thing with farting is that it’s a slippery slope. One day you’re accidentally letting them slip out while laughing so hard it physically hurts, the next day you’re having contests to see whose is louder. You’ve been warned.

5. Weeing

Using the toilet with the door open, or, even more naughty, while he’s brushing his teeth or in the shower. You guys must be so in love.

6. Hair

There’s nothing that says ‘we’ve been together too long’ more than indulging in sexual activities without bothering to preen your lady area. Who cares if he has to forage around to find things, you’ve had a busy week and you haven’t had time for a speed shower shave.

7. Spots

Asking your boyfriend if he will lie on the floor so you can sit on his bum and squeeze his back spots. Hey, it’s better than sitting and scrolling through Twitter for another 10 minutes.

8. Drunk dialling

After your first girls’ night out in six months you get so howling drunk that you try to ring your boy 17 times and send him four texts declaring how he’s the best thing to ever happen to you and you love him more than Brie. But it’s OK, you’ve been together long enough for him to not dump you over it. And for him to know full well you don’t love him more than Brie, it was the vodka talking.

9. Wet nail help

No one likes a smudged nail, so when you’ve just perfected your mint green manicure who do you enlist to scratch your nose? Your boyfriend. Oh, and your wedgies too. Why do we always get wedgies when we’ve got wet nails?

10. Tissues

You’ve got a raging cold and you’re leaving tissues everywhere around the house. You do a particularly ginormous sneeze, and then, what’s that in your tissue? OH MY GOD, IT’S HUGE. You have to show him, this liquid beast came out of your nose, he must witness it.

11. Bad tummy

Admitting you poo is bad enough in itself, but admitting that eating fresh chilli makes your stomach feel like an explosive washing machine is another. There is no greater level of mortification than having your boyfriend witness the noise of an upset stomach – but once it’s out of the way you’re pretty much bound for life.