Schwartzman is wasted as Ethan, a social outcast college student with his stalker-like eye on the prize--an intelligent college girl with model good looks (former model King). Nicknaming himself "Cool Ethan," our semi-delusional hero blackmails three of the campus's best and brightest, who have gotten that rep entirely through cheating. Ethan demands the boys use their unique methods of chicanery to get him his dream girl, or he'll get them all expelled. Leader of the gang Dave (Sawa) leads the fix-up charade but ends up falling for the cutie himself. Uninteresting, annoying characters, awkward plotting, and the requisite ton of sophomoric, sexual, and gross-out humor, including a gratuitous septugenarian sponge bath.