September 26, 2014

Scribe ponders: hurricanes. Why do we call them names like “Rachel?” Ms. Scribe knew a Rachel once: ugly, yes, but a fine person: more beautiful inside than 99.9% of the supposed “beautiful people.” Why don’t we call use mythology and call them “Thor,” or if we must use the names of real people, how about, “Hitler?”

“Hitler’s coming!”
People will KNOW to run like hell, except maybe your pathetic, accept anything FOX says as gospel, teabag, Stand Your Ground supporting, right wing spewer of cliches and hate uncle who will probably pull out two of his 100 AK47s and run out into the BLACK hurricane shooting and yelling, “Go away you black bastard and take your Kenyan socialist, commie president with you!”

NOW: some names are QUITE appropriate. “Dick Army?” An army of marching male scrotums? YUP. Fits him quite well. “Rove?” YES. Very much like some rabid pitbull.

“Here Rove-r. I have a needle for you!”

Put that con man bitch down. The country would be far better off.

“Dick Cheney?” HOW PERFECT! Especially considered his drooling desire for more torture and the lies he tells to try to convince the country to destroy not just any credibility we might have left, but sink into a cesspool of fascism and fracking sludge.

YUP. Chain Dicks? He’d be into that.

Now, on a “lighter” note, why do we call it “ebola?” Sounds like an internet-based bowling game. Let’s call it something like what we might call other horrible diseases: “limb rot off-is,” “crap out your guts-out virus” and “Ted Cruz.”

Ever look at those eyes? Looks like he starred in Cabinet of Doctor Caligari or some Z grade vampire film that went zombie midway. He could play all roles. He has the eyes for it.

As Scribe says, “EYE… EYE… EYE!”

(That’s a mutant Cruz who just happened to “cruise” into a Biggus Dickus cesspool of racking fluids.)

And finally, all the cutesy names for a lady’s most personal region? Can we forgo the, “VJJ,” “snatch,” WHATEVER? LOOK, Scribe enjoys it himself, but as ugly as the male counterpart is, maybe we should name them after those nasty reality ripping creatures in that old Stephen King movie, The Langoliers.