Aiming For Perfection: Beauty & Style Expectations vs. Reality

The universe surely has one heck of a sense of humor. How else to explain all those times we took it upon ourselves to achieve greatness and ended up looking like something you would find in a meme. Yes, our lack of skill may have something to do with it, but how is it that things look so good when we see them on someone else, and then when we try them, it’s a wretched mess? It has to be the universe standing in our way, it simply has to. Among numerous life fails, we have handpicked the ones that are the most relatable, and once you see one of them you can’t help but laugh along thinking ‘well, at least I’m not alone’.

The eyeliner virgin

We all love watching makeup tutorials on YouTube. Some admit to this, and for others, it’s a kind of guilty pleasure. After seeing countless videos of different MUAs achieving that beyond perfect eyeliner in one steady and effortless sweep, you think to yourself – come on, this is so easy, I can totally do it. So you sit down, put your elbow on the table to steady the hand as instructed, you start sweeping and oh my god, what is that? Your hand just did a weird wiggly thing so instead of perfection, you achieved that look you get when you hop into the shower and the mascara starts running – otherwise known as the sea monster. Still, there is no room for desperation; you just need to put those hands to work and practice until you’re at least half a cat.

This will last you a lifetime

We’ve opened our Pinterest apps once or a thousand times and searched for images of gorgeous tattoos. Of course, most of those pins are done by true artists and probably cost a small fortune. Nonetheless, those of us who are gullible probably thought that that guy with a small tattoo shop a couple of blocks from you can do it at the fraction of the price. So, you waltz in there excited, show him the photo, and he, of course, says he can do it. And you of course, end up crying ink-colored tears because your dreamy tattoo looks like something your six-year-old sister doodled with a permanent marker. After doing what Justin Timberlake said – crying a river – you do the only thing you can do to salvage the situation – you go to a laser tattoo removal clinic and erase your mistake.

Ads, ads everywhere

You’re casually scrolling through your Facebook feed and an ad with a gorgeous and incredibly affordable color-block dress pops up. You think, ‘OMG this is too good to miss and it’s only 12$’. You’re already envisioning those #streetstyle photos you’re going to take twirling around in your breezy maxi dress. The package arrives (in 30 days or so, but it’s so worth the wait), and then reality hits. The fabric looks like a tarp you use when camping. The orange part is almost neon so it will come in real handy when you find yourself stranded at night with a flat tire. The fit is, well, there are no words – let’s just say it doesn’t only feel like a tent it looks like one too. Lesson: if it’s too cheap to be true, it most definitely is.

Donut vs. onion

Every girl you see, whether on Instagram or in real life is rocking that rich and thick bun that looks like Carrie Bradshaw’s hair in those episodes where she has more extensions than real hair. We all know that this hairdo is easy to do, but when you do it, instead of it looking like a rich and fluffy donut it comes out like there’s an onion ring on the top of your head instead. While it’s true that many of our Instagram hair idols do in fact rock a whole lot of extensions, you need to know one simple truth – that spongy thing you can find at virtually every fast-fashion retail store will save your updo. Of course, you’ll still need a tutorial or two so the sponge isn’t visible, but hey, definitely better than the onion ring.

Much art, wow

The nail art gives us serious envy, it’s ok to admit that. Now, although you are aware that you’re no nail art wizard, you take a look at these simple and sleek geometric nails and you rightfully think ‘well, I can definitely do at least this’. You take the scotch tape, create the boundaries, apply the nail polish and just as you’re about to remove the tape and be dazzled by your dexterity, oh yeah, the line is smudged and it.does.not.look.good. Lesson: if you want great nails, save the effort and nerves and go to a proper salon. Some of us just don’t have the talent.

Brigitte is part of the Contributing Writer Network at Thirty on Tap. To apply to become a Contributing Writer, please click HERE.