Damn feminists. They must've gotten to him. I could see it in his eyes, and I'm legally blind. It was that obvious. Poor guy.

I was lucky to wrestle this precious box out of his hands. I can't believe they just gave it to him without a background check or a blood test. Then again, better he get it than one of those Student Council bitches. Especially the pink one.

After a near mishap with my switchblade and my right thumb, I sliced the box open and revealed the contents. Huh. I don't remember ordering a bunch of gray blobs in a box. Oh right.

I leaned closer. Cameras. Check. Control panel. Check. Those femmies aren't gonna know what hit them! I'll know their next moves before even they know their next moves! Brilliant! There was just one problem though. I needed to somehow infiltrate their main headquarters and place the cameras in the most crucial areas in their base. Without being noticed.

I thought about it for a long time. So long, that when I looked up, it was dark outside. Perfect! An operation at night. They'll never see me coming! I picked the box up and tiptoed into the hall. There wasn't any light coming from under Hisao's door. Probably asleep, dreaming his feminist-infiltrated dream about one of them. Not me. I always sleep with a live wire in my hand, ready to shock me if I even start to dream. Just in case.

I ran out of the boys dorm and across the commons ground separating the resistance headquarters from the femmie base. I figured the front door was booby-trapped, so I instead ran around to the side and looked for a window. I learned a long time ago that the windows in this school open up like a cheerleader's legs if you just jiggle them a little. I found a window in the back and pulled it open, throwing my box in before courageously leaping into the hotbed itself.

Mmmm, it's nice and warm in here. It kind of smells like roses- what the hell am I doing?! I immediately pulled my shirt over my nose and mouth. They almost got me there with that chemical weapon, but they'll have to get up earlier than that to fool Kenji Setou! After I'd recovered from my near-death experience, I picked my box up and slinked down the hallway. First stop, the Class Rep's room. Luckily I happened to know where all their rooms were because of my previous intel missions, so this would be easy.

She's totally blind, so I wouldn't have to worry about her seeing me. But her pact with the feminists meant that what she couldn't see, she could hear. So I'd need to be more quiet than a mouse on heroin. Not impossible, since I'm a mastermind, but it would prove a challenge, even for me.

I snuck up to her door and knocked loudly. I hid behind the corner of the hallway as I heard shuffling come from within. In a second, the door opened and she stepped out. "Hanako? Is that you?" I heard her say. She stepped out further and felt her way to the other side of the hallway. Now was my chance. I inched my way down the hallway and into her open doorway, and pulled out a camera. I'd almost armed it before she came back in and shut the door. My blood ran cold. Time stopped. The wind died down. Damn, she'd gotten me!

I assumed my combat stance. A stance, passed down through multiple generations of Setou men, meant to instill fear in the hearts of any man, woman, child, or insect. I prepared to fight heroically against one of the feminist forces' top agents, to the death if needed. Damn, I wish I'd told Hisao where I'd put my prewritten obituary, but it was too late. I'd go down against the feminist forces heroically, hoping my death would be considered a martyr to my future followers.

She didn't react at all to my stance. Didn't even blink. I assumed the next stage of the stance. I was about to let loose one of the famous Setou war cries before I remembered something.

She's blind.

Oh. Right. Just testing myself, of course. A true soldier is always prepared, even in the face of no conflict. I disengaged the combat stance, tucking a camera in a corner of her room. Luckily, she was busy doing something with her closet. She seemed to be removing parts of her anti-man shielding and leaving them on the floor. I dared not look. I'd heard what happened to a man who'd seen a woman without her anti-man shielding before - he'd been reduced to a bright red blathering idiot. No matter. I had a mission. I quickly slithered out of her chamber and back into the hallway.

Masterfully written, and that's coming from someone who hates fan fiction. How you captured Kenji's mindset was very accurate to how I would think he would act and you made even the simplest of norms seem so foreign to Kenji, especially the 'anti-man shielding'. My god Kenji, don't you know what clothes are? Keep it up

Masterfully written, and that's coming from someone who hates fan fiction. How you captured Kenji's mindset was very accurate to how I would think he would act and you made even the simplest of norms seem so foreign to Kenji, especially the 'anti-man shielding'. My god Kenji, don't you know what clothes are? Keep it up

I'd always hated those bitches. Though I couldn't deny their skill. I once saw The Blue One order an entire chinese takeout meal without even opening her mouth. The Pink One was yelling the entire time, so I suspect The Blue One was using her feminist telepathic skills to communicate directly with the takeout guy's brain. Sketchy shit, man.

Anyway, their hallway wasn't too far from Class Rep's hallway. What a bunch of amateurs, not even booby-trapping the passageways. I had just rounded the corner when suddenly one of the doors down at the end of the hall opened. Nanoseconds later, I hit the ground, holding the box in front of me as shielding as I lay completely horizontal on the ground. I tell you, one day they'll write military strategy books about me!

After a few seconds had passed, I peeked out from behind the box just in time to see The Blue One vanish around the corner. Perfect! After a few failed attempts I hoisted the box up and calmly walked down the hall and to the only other occupied door in the hallway. I politely knocked.

You might be thinking to yourself by now, "Kenji, what the hell are you doing? Politely knocking on the door of the right hand man of the feminist conspiracy? What the fuck are you thinking, man? You'll get gassed in an instant!" Ah, you sweet summer child. In military strategy, this is called "taking a big fucking chance".

Sure enough, I heard some shuffling from inside. The door slowly opened, and The Pink One stared at me groggily. She yawned, loudly.

"S..shicchan...?"

"Hi, can I put up a camera in your room so I can monitor your every waking move?"

"W.. wha...? Mm..., mhmm, Shicchan, that's okay..."

She yawned again, and mumbled something about "damn sleep paralysis demons" before going back over to her energy recharging chamber and faceplanting back into it. Bingo!

I armed another camera. Just as I was focusing it, the door swung open and the room flooded with light. Oh shit.

I could see the silhouette of The Blue One in the hallway. Double Oh Shit.

She stalked in and started swinging her hands around in front of me. It took me a second, but it suddenly clicked. I was being challenged to a kung fu fight! Ha! Little did she know, I'd once watched a whole third of a Bruce Lee movie before fainting! This would be a piece of cake.

I readied myself for vicious hand-to-hand combat. I jumped up, spreading my legs as I stuck my arms out in front of me. I waited for her to pause, to lower her defenses, then I struck!

Ha! My hand lashed out and hit one of her chest sensors dead-on! Now she’d only be half as effective against my next attac-

*SLAP*

Ow! The side of my face stung. Oh my god, she’d hacked my brain’s pain receptors! She stopped doing kung fu moves, instead holding her arms in a x-shape over her chest. She must be charging up for the killing blow! Now was my chanc-

The Pink One stirred.

"...Wait, did Shicchan just talk to me...?"

Triple Oh Shit.

She started moving. Shit, shit, shit. Not even I, in all my years of training, could win in a two versus one. I needed to come up with an escape, fast, or I'd end up in a toothpaste tube in about three seconds.

"Aieeeeeeeeeeeee!"

I hated to do it, but I had no other choice. Many a mortal had crumpled in the wake of the Setou war cry, but unfortunately it only stunned the feminists. Seeing my chance, I picked up my box, slammed the torture chamber door closed, and bolted.

This is fun - not much more to say about it, because it’s certianly not an attempt to be deep or present Kenji as sympathetic. Though, his camera traps are no doubt creepy at best. Still, your writing with fluidity and it makes me laugh - might want to separate your responses and posts though, got a bit confused for a moment there, maybe that’s just me.

This is fun - not much more to say about it, because it’s certianly not an attempt to be deep or present Kenji as sympathetic. Though, his camera traps are no doubt creepy at best. Still, your writing with fluidity and it makes me laugh - might want to separate your responses and posts though, got a bit confused for a moment there, maybe that’s just me.

I ran. I ran and ran. I ran so hard and for so long I actually ended up in the same hallway by mistake. Then I kept running.

No doubt those student council bitches were calling in the reinforcements. I just knew it. "But Kenji", you might say, "how would you know they've called in reinforcements if it's quieter than a mouse's funeral in the halls right now?" That's exactly what they want you to think! They want you to think you can slow down, sit down, relax - and that's when they've got you. It's those silent troops, man. They can make ninjas look like belled cows - and you don't realize until they've got their fangs into you. Scary shit, man.

Anyway, I placed my box down and took a breather from all that heavy running. Man, I really ought to stop skipping gym class... or stop skipping all of my classes... nevermind.

I felt someone nudge me. Shit, they'd got me! I immediately froze, hoping to fool whoever it was into thinking I was just a strangely detailed and large bonsai pot. Ancient techniques.

"Hello."

Huh, the voice sounded kind of familiar. I looked up. Wasn't this the guy Hisao introduced me to? I knew exactly what to do.

"What's the password?"

He was silent for a second, before responding, "Honeymuffin."

"Agent! What are you doing here?"

"I live here. I think I do. I have walked into the wrong dorm before, though. Do I live here?"

"You convinced the housing department to let you in? Brilliant!"

I stuck my hand out for a congratulatory handshake. After a few seconds of awkward silence, I retracted my hand. Must not want to spread his prints around. I can respect that.

"Exactly. I need to plant it in one of their rooms so I can monitor from my own lair."

"Oh. I think Emi has room. Maybe."

Emi? I tried to put a face to a name, before remembering.

"Wow, you're basically at their front door! But how will you lure her out of her recharging chamber?"

"Oh. Leave that to me."

Tezuka walked over to one of the doors adjacent to us and opened it with his... foot? ...Something tells me this guy isn't all there. No matter though.

I heard some shuffling in the room, then he re-emerged - kicking two, grey things down the hall as he came. He then opened the other door and motioned with his head for me to come inside. Or he was just stretching his neck. Either way I picked up my box and ran in.

He closed the door just enough so someone looking in wouldn't be able to blow our cover. He turned to me.

"Any second now."

"Any second now what?"

An alarm went off in the other room. There was some shuffling around, before a girl's voice rang out.

"Rin, where are my legs?"

Rin? That sounded familiar...

"Somebody stole them. They're at the end of the hall."

There was even more aggressive sounding shuffling from inside the room, before something crawled out on the floor. Oh god, a feminist in its natural form!

She gave a piercing glare at Rin, as if deeply questioning and contemplating something. Suddenly, it brightened into a smile, and she said, "Oh! Well, here I go!" and began to feverishly scoot down the hallway on her stomach.

O... kay. Right. Mission time. I ran across the hall and planted a camera. Three down, one to go! I sprinted back into Agent Rin's room just as Emi began to slowly rotate her body to face me.

Mmm, it kind of smells like cinnamon in here. Yet another technique to avoid arousing suspicion, I'm sure. He closed the door and turned to me.

"That happens a lot."

"Right. Pleasure as always, Agent. See you around."

I nearly walked out before he said, "Wait."

I turned back around. "What, Agent?"

"Help me get dressed. Emi is never in the mood for it after she gets her legs stolen again."

That makes sense. I nodded sagely. "Okay!"

I went over to the drawers and opened one. Huh, a lot of those frilly white and blue things I saw class rep wearing... earlier. Suddenly it all clicked. I beamed with pride.

"Are you a crossdresser or something? Way to get into the act!" I stuck my hand out for another handshake.

He said "Emi says it's not cross-dressing if I'm really a girl. Which I am."

Oh.

He's a... s-

I calmly picked up my box, opened the door, and walked down the hall. I didn't say a word, and barely even made a sound. I calmly walked to the window I'd jimmied earlier and slipped out, slowly closing it behind me to not make any noise.

Also an important question..... what will happen when Kenji finally completes his mission?!

So glad you asked.

And now, an Epilouge
=====================================================================================

I woke up way, way too early on a Sunday morning.

A text message from Shizune.

"Will you go talk to your friend across the hall? He was in the girls' dorm last night with a suspicious looking box."

Somehow that didn't surprise me at all. I better solve this before Shizune gets upset. Then I'll really never hear the end of it.

I groggily dragged myself out of bed and padded over to the door across the hall. Finding it unlocked for once, I opened it and began, "Kenji, what on earth are you doi....ng."

It was like something out of a low budget cop movie. Kenji sat watching a monitor, eating ramen out of a styrofoam cup. All of the cameras on the monitor were pointed in the wrong direction, and the one labeled "Class Rep" wasn't even turned on.

It felt like my brain bluescreened for a second. He noticed me and smiled.

"Hey, dude! Long time no see! Had a huge intel op last night, you wanna watch the footage?"

I took a deep breath, before finding my words. "...Kenji, we're both going to pretend I didn't just see this. Okay? Okay." I turned around and walked back out, ignoring his rebuttal.

I opened my phone and stared at the New Message prompt. What the hell am I supposed to say?

"Don't worry about it." I sent.

I flopped back down on my bed. Sleep beckoned me, and soon wrapped its wispy fingers around me again.

The End.
=====================================================================================

Big thanks to Fancopter, who not only looked over all three parts of this story, but contributed some of the ideas in them.

This is beautiful. I love that Kenji doesn't even bother to cover himself up in any meaningful way while stealthing into "enemy territory." Why would he? He's a master strategist and couldn't possibly make any mistakes.

Also, Rin just casually going along with his plan broke me. Comedy gold.

That was gold. This stuff about Kenji is pure gold. For me, you had grasped him well. But yeah, an anti-feminist who put secret spy cameras in the "enemy territory" who can't see anything later, it's pure gold.