Friday, January 27, 2012

"Comedy Nation This Week" - January 27, 2012

The Panel Discusses the State of the Union, the GOP Florida debates and more.

Trippitorial:Class Warfare

When Rick Perry pulled out
of the Republican race, I expected him to endorse me, but instead he endorsed a
Newt. I don’t blame him though. Newt probably yelled at him, and we know how
mean Newt can be. Maybe he thinks he can be Newt’s Vice
President. He could be the new Dan Quayle. Nobody’s would assassinate Newt Gingrich
if Rick Perry was the Vice President.

Jon Huntsman was poised to
endorse me, but obviously somebody got to him and he ended up endorsing twit Romney.
It’s almost like they don’t even want to acknowledge I’m in this race even
though I’m not.

And then Huntsman accused ex-president Barack Obama (if I
get in this race) of provoking class warfare. The only thing Jon Huntsman
provoked was James Tripp, even if I’m not running.

Who is causing class
warfare? The people eliminating the middle class. It’s not the people being
eliminated. Shut your pie hole! It’s like Newt Gingrich blaming me for him
eating too many Twinkies! Shut your pie hole, Newt and you won’t get so fat! If
you’re not a poster boy for gluttony, then you’re probably a poster boy for
something else that may explode at any minute from a continual internal
combustion of bile.

The class who benefit by
exploiting another class doesn’t want it pointed out. They’d make it illegal to
discuss if they could get away with it. They’d call it sedition, or some word
like that that fat people say to keep skinny people from eating the food.

But I digress, and it’s a
good thing too. The upper class accuses the lower class of fomenting a class
war to silence them. The rich foment a class war by hoarding all the wealth. If
the poor foment anything it won’t be a war, it will be a revolution. Wars are
for the rich. You need uniforms. The poor can’t afford uniforms! They’re lucky
to have shoes!

So shut up about a class
war, because if you want a class war, you’ll get a class war. At least that’s
what Rambo said…I think.

Be careful what rhetoric you
pursue, you may not like where it takes you, you silly primary Republicans! Put
that in your twitter and tweet it!