Scottish Isle Waits for The Donald Ex Machina

There are some Americans for whom true success is found overseas. David Hasselhoff, for instance, is revered in Germany. Kelly Rutherford, who plays Lily on Gossip Girl, is a megacelebrity in Turkey. Not to brag or anything, but Intel is huge in Durbuy, Belgium. And, as the Wall Street Journal tells us today, Donald Trump is practically worshipped in Lewis, the tiny island off the coast of Scotland where his mother was born. The people of Lewis are not only not revolted by The Donald’s values and smarmy attitude and limited vocabulary, they would actually like him to live among them and would love nothing more than for The Donald to knock aside their prehistoric ruins and build a glittering megaplex on their heathered moors. “He can play golf here, do a bit of fishing, shooting, a bit of relaxation,” one local councilor, who wrote Trump asking him to turn a crumbling castles into a luxury hotel, told the Journal, which suggests that Lewis waits for The Donald as the Sahara waits for the rains. “It will come suddenly,” one resident said, as if expecting a golden Donald to one day descend from the sky. But others are more pragmatic: “The weather isn’t bouffant friendly,” one councilmansaid.