Because the true Olympic spirit isn't friendship but rather winning, a doctor with the British Olympic Association is warning athletes that shaking hands with rivals and visiting dignitaries is just about the best way to get sick before your event (along with making out with that hot Ukrainian pentathloner). And for every sick British athlete, Britain's dreams of empire die a little more.

Said Ian McCurdie, the BOA's chief medical officer,

"At an Olympic Games or any major event the performance impact of becoming ill or even feeling a little bit ill can be significant. Essentially we are talking about minimizing risk of illness and optimizing resistance. Minimizing exposure and getting bugs into the system and being more robust to manage those should that happen. Hand hygiene is it."

The BOA later backed off the draconian and unneighborly advice, modifying it to a more reasonable "wash you hands a lot" dictum. Still: that Tunisian weightlifter is always picking his singlet wedgie out of his behind. You sure you want to risk it?