helping women to achieve success in business

The anguish of losing

When we all saw the tears fall down Andy Murray’s cheeks after coming runner up at Wimbledon 2012, I expect many a lip quivered in sympathy. Such an amazing amount of effort, a complete desire to win, an absolute hunger to become the first British Men’s Winner at Wimbledon for over 70 years… and to be beaten by a man who really was more experienced, infinitely better, and 7th time champion to boot.

Losing is never nice. It is soul destroying. It wipes away all the energy you had in the exertions to win. It leaves an empty space in which the opponent wallows in their glory. But above all it should not be seen as the end of the world.

Andy will try again next year. Of course he will, he’s been trying to win Wimbledon since he was 18, when he went out in the 3rd round in 2005. Every year since then he has inched further towards his goal, perfecting his strokes, strengthening his body, training his mind to win. Wimbledon is a very tough tennis championship, the best in the world, and the stakes are very high.

Getting to the top is hard, but worth-while. It’s good to set your goals high. It reveals a level for you to work towards, a focus for your passion, an ideal to emulate. Without this the very existence you or your business will have no purpose and nothing to strive for. Looking upwards to your goal steels your determination, sets the pace and provides a pinnacle to reach. And if you are lucky enough to get there, create another! This journey should always be a continuous one.

3 Responses

I agree with your comments and about having a winning mindset. I do however think that playing the world’s NO 1 who consistently applies his winning techniques takes a rather special mindset altogether. And clearly not many other players have it as Andy is the only British player to have got this far since 1936.

So losing in this case could still be seen as a huge achievement and as Boris Becker said straight after the game “there is no shame in losing to Roger Federer”.

Andy Murray may need to work on his mindset for next year and having some help from a specialist would be good as Diksha suggests. However I think he may also benefit from some new strategies and technical approaches to help him deal specifically with someone like Roger Federer. Which may well be a job for the coach?!

Alice I agree BUT I am worried that sometimes people do not set themselves REALISTIC goals and struggle as a result. E.g if someone tried to convince me that I could climb Mt Everest just because I’ve climbed Mt Snowdon, I would be most concerned. Yes that would most certainly have been a strong possiblity had i started 30yrs earlier but it is a dangerous dream to fulfil now.

Andy Murray of course has a realistic dream and I do have some thoughts about the way forward for him. He is capable of winning a Grand Slam titled but he needs to work on his mind. The reason, in my very humble opinion, why Andy couldn’t retrench when Roger Federer came back was beause all his energy was being sapped out of him like a sieve via his negative animated display. Of course he was upset – but so was Federer on losing the 1st set. The difference lay in the manner in which both these players used their sense of loss: Federer internalised, focused this energy and altered his game plan and the only time we saw any animation was when he congratulated himself with ‘Come on!’ three times in the match. Contrast that with Murray who animated more negativity than positivity, hung his head, swore at himself and dragged himself around the court. Even Andrew Castle remarked on this victim demeanour from the commentary box. John McEnroe mentioned this before the match started and pointed out that he too was known for his outbursts on the rare occasion (hah!) but he channeled this negative feeling to create some fantastic tennis – unlike Murray.

So what can Murray do? Internalise his frustration, channel it into altering strategy and only have positive outbursts, and these too, less animated than his mother was demonstrating in the family box. He has a fantastic coach – Ivan Lendl – who was an ice man himself (like Borg, Sampras and of course Federer). What he now needs is a good sports hypnotherapist or sports psychologist (as Pat Cash had in his team) who will help him change his approach from that of a loser to that of a winner. Murray can do it, he has the ability – it’s his mind he has to alter.

If you happen to have tea and scones with the Murrays, please do mention Christy Roxburgh (www.christyhypnotherapy.com) to them, a fine sports hypnotherapist… :-)

Wow, what a wonderful response to my post! Thanks Diksha. Of course you are right, it was Andy’s mindset that sets him back. Maybe it was because he was in an area he was not familiar with, and could do with some good wins elsewhere to get a taste of being victorious, but certainly channeling his negativity into positivity will go a long way. And such a contrast with the more experienced Federer on so many fronts.