Thursday, July 3, 2014

Key Challenges for Parents of Sexual Abuse Victims

Parents and other family members play important
roles for victims of abuse striving to heal from the devastating impacts of
their ordeals.Though healing is a
personal journey, it's shared by friends, family and loved ones concerned for
the well-being of victims.And while the
victim is at the center of each effort to rebuild and restore trust, confidence
and other casualties of abuse, secondary survivors share a unique set of
challenges overcoming the impacts of sexual abuse.

In addition to feeling the victim's pain, survivors
are overwhelmed by their desire to help.But the implications surrounding sexual abuse and assault are
complicated, so even the most committed survivors sometimes struggle to reconcile
the unfamiliar territory.

Parents
especially are overcome by a flood of emotions when their children suffer at
the hands of abuse, prompting personal doubt and turmoil as they help their
kids heal.

Common challenges faced by
parents of sexual assault victims include the following trials.

What
to Say and Do

When children face obstacles in life, parents
naturally want to help them find their way beyond the conflict.Sexual abuse and assault spur similar
responses from mothers and fathers who want to heal the pain and ease the
struggles their kids face recovering from maltreatment.

But the ramifications of sexual abuse and
assault affect victims and families in ways that are hard to reconcile,
especially for parents unfamiliar with the wide-ranging impacts of these
traumatic events. Having never faced
sexual issues head-on, parents struggle to find the right words and actions to
ease their children's' suffering.

In order to help victims heal, parents must
understand that it is okay not to have all the answers.

Healing is a process, which victims and their
supporters grow-through together, learning effective strategies as they
go.Simply lending a compassionate ear
and being there as sounding boards for victims are tremendous contributions to
the healing process, even if parents might not be able to offer the best
'clinical' counseling.

Most parents are blank slates of sexual abuse
understanding, so helping their kids heal after incidents starts with gaining
some level of knowledge about the impacts of sexual assault.Independent research, support groups and
conversations with other secondary survivors each provide valuable insight into
the issues faced by sexual abuse survivors and members of their support structures.

In addition to specific responses, parents furnish
effective support by simply validating their children's feelings and
expressions.Compassion and
non-judgmental sentiments are critical features of the healing process, which
parents are particularly well-qualified to provide.

Heal
Thyself

Mending the negative effects of sexual abuse and
assault go beyond the victim, including caregivers and supporters assisting in
recovery.To be most helpful to victims
of assault, parents need to understand they are experiencing normal responses
to these traumatic incidents, and allow themselves to heal alongside their
child victims.

Feeling overwhelmed and
struggling with helplessness, for example, are consistent responses from
parents of victims, who overcome their feelings of anger and devastation by
acknowledging they have their own healing to do.

Taking time for yourself enables you to help your
child recover, so it is important to devote personal resources to helping
yourself come to terms with the events as well.

Take breaks as a caregiver, enabling you to keep up with your own
responsibilities, and giving your child an opportunity to reflect
independently.

Support your well-being
with healthy activities and get plenty of rest, even if self-care does not feel
like a priority during your child's crisis.

Parents face unique challenges supporting children
who have fallen victim to sexual abuse and assault.Together, families furnish mutual support
that helps them grow beyond the negative impacts of sexual trauma.And while the victim's plight takes the front
seat during recovery efforts, parents and other caregivers must also account
for their own shock and personal wreckage.

6 comments:

I wish this had happened for me, instead my mother didn't feel distress about the sexual abuse I suffered. She didn't believe me. If she felt distress it was because I told, I was the liar and demon. My stepfather was the golden one and she chose him over me. I still don't understand how this could happen.

You wrote "Parents and other family members play important roles for victims of abuse striving to heal from the devastating impacts of their ordeals." For those of us who didn't have family members who believed us it was like being abused all over again. I'll never know how much I could have healed because I wasn't one of the lucky ones who were believed.

Just like the other two comments I wasnt lucky enough to have parents who were upset that I was abused. They didnt believe it because they didnt believe it was possble for a boy to be abused. I suffered alone and it cost me everything.