Ever ready to drink all comers under the table with never-ending rounds of soju-whiskey bombs -- it’s a personal affront in Seoul if you don’t throw down “one shot!” on the spot -- Koreans may be the best drinking buddies in the world. As reigning leaders of nearly all current Asian pop culture trends -- in music, fashion, film, Koreans dominate -- they’ve earned the right to brag a little when that “one shot!” turns into ten or twenty.

Icon of cool: Park Chan-wook. The film director’s twisted visions freak out fellow countrymen, but have achieved cult status among emo film majors worldwide.Not so cool: Kimchi breath.

5. Americans
In what other country does POTUS go goofy foot?
What? Americans? War-starting, planet-polluting, over-consuming, arms-bearing Americans? Surely we can't be suggesting that the people who voted George W. Bush into the White House (twice!) are cool?

Yes we are because, like it or not, we must.

The evidence is legion. Global politics aside, the world has done rather well out of Americans. Where would the hipsters of today be without rock and roll, classic Hollywood films, great American novels, tail fins, blue jeans, jazz, hip hop, “The Sopranos,” 360-degree slam dunks and that ultimate embodiment of cool -- surfing?

OK, someone else might eventually have come up with the same ideas, but the point is they didn't and America did.

Icon of cool: Johnny Depp. So cool he left the country, went to Europe, moved in with a French model and tried to become Keith Richards.Not so cool: Pre-emptive military strikes, random invasions, rapacious consumerism, pathetic math scores and Walmart fatties would also place Americans high on any “most uncool” list.

4. Mongolians
"You gotta be kidding me -- we got beat out by Singapore?"
Along with a carefully crafted air of quiet mystery, these unflappable souls pretty much perfected the freewheeling, nomadic cowboy existence, throat singing and yurts. Fur-lined everything -- boots, coats, hats, undies -- adds hearty splendor to the historic mystique. And who else keeps eagles as pets?

Icons of cool: Actress Khulan Chuluun, who played Ghengis Khan's wife in the very cool film, “Mongol,”and matched the arch badass arrow for arrow, barb for barb.Not so cool: Yak-based dairy products … at every meal.

3. Jamaicans
Just don't call him "mon" and you'll be cool.
There's more to Jamaicans than reggae, including Rastafarian (the most kick-back religion ever invented), an accent that’s the envy of the English-speaking world and the planet’s most distinctive and recognizable hairstyle. Note to backpackers: dreadlocks only cool on actual Jamaicans.

Icon of cool: Jimmy Cliff. The “Harder They Come" singer is still bringing it at 62.Not so cool: High murder rate and widespread homophobia.

2. Singaporeans
Finally, something worth Tweeting about, la?
Think about it: in this digital age where blogging and updating Facebook are pretty much all that anyone does anymore, old school notions of cool have been rebooted. No longer the laughingstock, geeks are now inheriting the Earth.

With its absurdly computer-literate population, Singapore is geek central and its people can therefore claim their rightful place as avatars of modern cool. They’re probably all Tweeting about it right now.

Disagree with Singapore at number two? This might change your mind.

Icon of cool: Lim Ding Wen. This child prodigy could program in six computer languages at age nine. A glorious future awaits.

Not so cool: With everyone stuck at their computers, the local government actually has to encourage Singaporeansto have sex.

1. Brazilians
Celebrating their number-one ranking at Copacabana Beach is way cooler than reading this article.
Without Brazilians we wouldn't have samba and Rio carnival; we wouldn't have the soccer beauty of Pele and Ronaldo; we wouldn't have the minuscule swimwear and toned bodies of Copacabana beach; and we wouldn't have certain eye-watering procedures performed with wax.

Unless they're using their sexy, laid-back, party-loving reputation as a cover for exterminating dolphins or invading Poland, then we have no choice but to name Brazilians as the coolest people on the planet.

So, if you're Brazilian and reading this, congratulations -- although, since you're sitting at a computer instead of showing off your six-pack on the shoreline, you probably aren't that cool yourself.

Icon of cool: Seu Jorge. The favela-raised performer's soulful Portuguese-language Bowie covers make you wish Ziggy Stardust was from Brazil, not space.Not so cool: Mmmmm, Brazilian meat and cocoa -- so delicious, but farming's destruction of vast tracts of rainforest leaves a bitter aftertaste.