Worship the Moon and Fear the Void

Opinion: Maybe the Real Best Dressed Person at the Met Gala Was The Friends We Made Along the Way

Over the last few years I have slowly begun to appreciate the event known as the Met Gala in a way that I never quite expected. For those of you who don’t know, this is an event where people (celebrities) pay $35,000 a piece to dress up in the hottest outfits that go along with the year’s theme. This year, 2019, the theme was camp and we were not disappointed (for the most part). People really got into what it meant to be ironic and not take themselves seriously, all the while showing off how cool and iconic they are. I don’t care about fashion or anything like that, no, I’m here for the memes and camaraderie.

Here’s my crazy idea. What if the real best dressed person at the Met Gala was the friends we made along the way? Let me explain.

Despite knowing literally nothing about fashion, I am able to enjoy this event every year. And I do so from the comfort of my own couch/bed. This is possible due to A. the internet B. the wonderful world of social media and C. the ability of people on the internet to turn anything, funny or not, into a joke. It’s honestly one of my favorite things.

So what I am proposing is that we stop trying to make this a competition. Sure, Karlie Kloss never gets the theme right and Lady Gaga can never choose an outfit to stick with, but that’s not what this thing is about. It’s not even about the museum or the money they are raising. It’s not even about Jerod Leto slowly pushing the limits of what people will allow him to do in public. No, the entire thing is about brining us together to marvel at famous people trying to impress Anna Wintour while we all get to enjoy it along with the millions of pictures that are taken.

Rather than pit ourselves against each other, we should see this for what it is: a chance to enjoy something truly beautiful before it’s gone. You know, with climate change and the upcoming global communist revolution, we won’t have celebrities or rich people for long. We need to suck the marrow out of this experience down to the last drop.

Then, when the time comes, once we have fully evolved as a society, we will give the Gala and the concept of camp back to the proletariat where it properly belongs. Sign my petition on Change.org to make this all reality.

This was written by Nathan Ellwood, who wants to dress like Billy Porter but let’s be real, no one can do it like him. Follow him @NPEllwood.