If you’re anything like me, you couldn’t care less about the snooze-fest that is college baseball. That being said, a few entertaining pieces of news from the sport will occasionally mosey their way down the ESPN ticker wire once and awhile. One such story broke last spring. Florida International’s Garrett Wittels got on an epic hit streak, eventually running up his tally of hits in consecutive games to 56, two behind the 58 game record set by Robin Ventura in 1987.

But Wittels now finds himself in a situation that has put both his chance at a record and anal virginity in jeopardy. After a trip to the Bahamas, Wittels and his two friends have returned home to the United States with rape convictions.

Garrett Wittels was accused of raping a 17-year-old teenage tourist on Dec. 20 while on a visit to the archipelago east of Florida. The 20-year-old infielder ended last season with the second-longest hitting streak in NCAA Division I history, two behind the 58-game run by Oklahoma State’s Robin Ventura in 1987.

Two of Wittels’ friends also face rape charges, officials said.

Robert Rothschild, 21, of New York, was accused of raping two 17-year-old girls, while Jonathan Oberti, 21, also of New York, was charged with raping one, according to Bahamian court officials. –USA Today

These guys would be stuck in a Bahamian prison if convicted, and although I’m no expert on the Caribbean prison system, I’ve seen enough episodes of Locked Up Abroad to know that overseas prisons are the last place you want to find yourself. I’ve also known enough seventeen year old girls to know that seventeen year old girls can be very, very stupid. Especially if they get their kicks sleeping with guys they’ve just met in the Bahamas. Wittels’ parents apparently aren’t buying into the charges either.

Wittels’ father, an orthopedist, told The Miami Herald that his son would be vindicated. He said his son was “devastated” by the allegations.

“Anyone can accuse anyone of anything at any time,” Michael Wittels told the Miami newspaper during a Monday morning phone interview. “He’s not doing well, obviously. He’s blown away. He’s devastated that someone would accuse him of this.”

Michael Wittels, whose telephone appeared to be disconnected later Monday, told the newspaper that his son and his friends met the two girls at a casino and they later went to a private party. The girls apparently described themselves as students at the University of Arkansas, he said. –USA Today

They described themselves as students at the University of Arkansas? That explains a lot. I don’t plan on becoming a parent anytime soon, but when I do, I’ll make sure to tell my son that Mark Chmura is not an appropriate role model.

UPDATE:Apparently, there were no drugs found in the systems of any of the girls at the time of the alleged rape, ruling out the possibility of date rape. However, the girls don’t remember what happened, and alcohol was found in their system, which is the least surprising news I’ve heard all day. All three gentlemen have been released from prison on $10,000 bail.