yet another blog about computer, technology, programming, and internet

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?Female customer: A white one…

===============Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.Customer: No, wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry….

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Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.Tech support: Would you click on “start” for me and…Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

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Customer: I have problems printing in red…Tech support: Do you have a color printer?Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces backCustomer:! OKTech support: Did the keyboard come with you?Customer: YesTech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work…

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: can’t get on the Internet.Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?Customer: Netscape.Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.Tech support: Are you running it under windows?Customer: “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.”

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And last but not least…

Tech support: “Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager”Customer: I don’t have a P.Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.Customer: What do you mean?Tech support: “P”…..on your keyboard, Bob.Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

A teen decides to make some money one Summer by teaching seniors how to use a computer. He tells them that it will cost them $10.00 per day.One elderly woman insists that she can learn in half a day and tells the teen that she will only pay him $5.00 for half a day instead of the full day. The teen agrees.Two hours into the course, the elderly woman screams "Get me a highlighter!"

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