Kerry Brown – Writerhttps://mrsbrown.me
Wed, 24 Oct 2018 07:30:01 +0000en-GBhourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=5.0.3https://mrsbrown.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/cropped-fullsizeoutput_236a-1-32x32.jpegKerry Brown – Writerhttps://mrsbrown.me
3232146241188Celebrating 1000 days of Treatment for Childhood Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemiahttps://mrsbrown.me/2018/10/24/celebrating-1000-days-of-treatment-for-childhood-acute-lymphoblastic-leukaemia/
https://mrsbrown.me/2018/10/24/celebrating-1000-days-of-treatment-for-childhood-acute-lymphoblastic-leukaemia/#respondWed, 24 Oct 2018 07:30:01 +0000https://mrsbrown.me/?p=8193When you face hard and tough times, milestones can be a saving grace. At the beginning of treatment, we marked the end of each phase of treatment with a celebratory nod. One thousand days of treatment is certainly something to mark in my book! We knew...

]]>When you face hard and tough times, milestones can be a saving grace. At the beginning of treatment, we marked the end of each phase of treatment with a celebratory nod. One thousand days of treatment is certainly something to mark in my book!

We knew from the onset that Felix’s treatment plan would be 3 years and 3 months. At the time, Felix was still a boy, a cute and chubby 10-year-old, Talia had just started secondary school and Rufus was a little poppet. I just couldn’t foresee the end of treatment in April 2019. The children would be three years older – for Rufus, a third of his life would’ve been influenced by cancer, Felix would be in Year 8 at secondary school and Talia would’ve started her GCSEs. The World Cup would’ve been and gone and Brexit wasn’t even part of our vocabulary back then.

From the point of diagnosis, our future had changed forever. All of our futures – the grandparents, the aunties, the uncles and our friends. All of our futures changed in a moment.

And here we are, edging closer and closer towards that finish line. The children have grown up into pretty normal kids – I think so anyway! Talia is blossoming and confidently stepping out in the world of study and work. Her humour continues to carry us through. Felix is growing into a strong and gentle young man – his increasing height continues to amaze me! Rufus is now exactly the same age as Felix as when he was diagnosed – that is something for me to get my head around!

At the end of the day, we are smiling and still living life.

I want to celebrate this milestone because, for some children, 1000 days from diagnosis tells a different story. I don’t need to need to go into details but we know how incredibly fortunate we are. We also know that things can change in a moment. We will never rest on our laurels again.

At this point, Felix has 184 days of treatment left. We know that his body is tired from the relentless chemotherapy – he is not. His gregarious and enthusiastic zest for life continues to shroud me with such pride. As does the determination and compassion of Talia and Felix. They know the end of treatment is a positive outcome but what it actually means for them, they don’t know or comprehend. What it means for Dylan and I we are unsure of. What we do know is that Felix is excited about breaking free from the shackles of chemotherapy, blood counts and oncology reviews. For me, that’s enough.

So as we live through day 1000, we carry another day of worry, concern and a frown that now represents so much more. Yet with it, we carry more hope, love and gratitude that I could ever quantify. We have been in this thing for 1000 days – we are exhausted but positively charged for this final lap.

As ever, we are truly grateful that you guys are still there for us – we can do this thing!

]]>https://mrsbrown.me/2018/10/24/celebrating-1000-days-of-treatment-for-childhood-acute-lymphoblastic-leukaemia/feed/08193How Schools Can Support Autistic Girls More Effectively by Rebekah Gillianhttps://mrsbrown.me/2018/10/17/how-schools-can-support-autistic-girls-more-effectively-by-rebekah-gillian/
https://mrsbrown.me/2018/10/17/how-schools-can-support-autistic-girls-more-effectively-by-rebekah-gillian/#commentsWed, 17 Oct 2018 09:00:20 +0000https://mrsbrown.me/?p=8189Attending mainstream education as an autistic girl wasn’t an easy thing to go through. From three, when I started attending nursery, I learnt the only way to get through it was to subconsciously copy others. I observed my peers for inspiration and copied their social...

]]>Attending mainstream education as an autistic girl wasn’t an easy thing to go through. From three, when I started attending nursery, I learnt the only way to get through it was to subconsciously copy others. I observed my peers for inspiration and copied their social interactions. And this worked for a while. I struggled through primary school but for the most part, nobody really knew because I hid it so well.

In secondary school, however, everything changed. Social rules became too complex for me to keep up with and I was expected to be able to do things other kids could do that I couldn’t. It wasn’t long before I fell behind. Things got so bad that I eventually dropped out of mainstream school in year 8.

I wish I could tell you this was a rarity, but really, it’s something that’s happening more and more in today’s society. It doesn’t have to be that way, though. Here are some things schools can do to support autistic girls more effectively, based on my own experiences.

Be Direct With Instructions

Using language that involves the ability to read between the lines isn’t helpful for autistic girls. We cannot always understand what people mean when they’re hinting at something, so it’s best if you explicitly state what you want them to do. That ‘find X’ joke that goes viral around exam season, where the individual has circled X instead of working out the problem, might be what an autistic person does without meaning to be funny. They aren’t really wrong, are they?

A lot of autistic girls hide behind masks that stop you from being able to understand how they’re truly feeling. This means that, even if you think you know that they understand what you’re saying, they might not. I remember a lot of memories from my school years where I would tell the teacher I understood what they had told me, only to go back to my desk as confused as I had been before they’d explained.

Find Out Their Preferred Method Of Communication

Even if an autistic girl is verbal, this might not be the most effective way of communicating with her. You want a student who can communicate with you when they need support, or have a problem, but this might take some time to figure out.

My preferred method of communication throughout school was through my mum. She was my advocate and would translate the conversations I had with her across to my Tutor, Head of House, or another member of staff. This was great until they decided to stop allowing this, telling me I needed to grow up and learn to do things for myself. After this, communication with the school completely shut down, and it wasn’t long before my problems in school completely escalated.

Make Autistic Girls Aware Of Changes As Much As Possible

Unexpected changes aren’t always avoidable. However, where possible, it’s important to inform the autistic girl in your classroom when things are going to change and what this is going to look like. Without this in place, the autistic girl may meltdown or even shutdown, which can be extremely traumatic and even embarrassing for the individual.

When I returned to mainstream education in college, one of my lecturers would write down the schedule of our lessons on the bored. This was really helpful, and saved a lot of anxiety on my behalf because I knew what was going to happen and when.

Create An Escape Plan

Regardless of the steps you take to make the autistic girl feel comfortable, there may be times where they need to take themselves out of a situation. The truth is, you won’t know what’s happened before the girl has come to school, and sensory sensitivities change on a daily basis. Both of these things can leave an autistic girl feeling unsettled, and trapped within the classroom. You may have no option but to let them leave to get a breather.

In school, I devised a plan as part of my IEP (Individual Education Plan), where I’d be allowed to have my phone on my desk. If I felt overwhelmed and unable to tell someone, I’d text my mum, who would call the school, and they’d arrange to get me out of the situation without disturbing the rest of the class.

Rebekah ~ Year 7

Thank you so much to Rebekah for sharing her experience of mainstream school from her unique perspective. The more we share and talk about the additional needs of children, the greater the understanding and empathy.

]]>https://mrsbrown.me/2018/10/17/how-schools-can-support-autistic-girls-more-effectively-by-rebekah-gillian/feed/18189My Big Fat Emotional Meltdown #CCAMhttps://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/30/my-big-fat-emotional-meltdown-ccam/
https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/30/my-big-fat-emotional-meltdown-ccam/#commentsSun, 30 Sep 2018 17:53:35 +0000https://mrsbrown.me/?p=8183On a random, uneventful Thursday evening this September, I had the most momentous emotional meltdown ever. Looking back, it had been swelling inside me for a few months but that one evening, the stars collided causing a tumultuous wave of emotions to come flooding and...

]]>On a random, uneventful Thursday evening this September, I had the most momentous emotional meltdown ever. Looking back, it had been swelling inside me for a few months but that one evening, the stars collided causing a tumultuous wave of emotions to come flooding and crashing out. I cried, I sobbed and wailed for hours into the night and into the morning taking days to subside and finally ebb away.

Things had been building for a couple of months. Felix’s blood counts have been unstable since the end of June with low platelets leading to chemo holds left, right and centre. According to our consultant, this is to be unexpected during the last year of treatment because of the amount of chemotherapy he has endured; this does not make it any easier. There has also been a significant change in our home life with Dylan resigning from his well-paid full-time teaching job to work alongside me at Go Fish Education. This has been emotionally demanding for all of us but certainly, a decision that was needed for his mental health. There is also the fact that the end of treatment is becoming more of a reality which fills with me with unbridled excitement combined with utter fear. At the moment, it is still slightly out of reach but occasionally my fingertips brush against the actuality of it. The actuality is fused with such intense emotion it is somewhat incomprehensible.

On top of this swirling and the unpredictable ocean of feelings and emotions, came Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. A campaign that I wholeheartedly support but one which is so close to home it’s sometimes too much. Bearing all this in mind, an emotional meltdown was almost unavoidable.

So what was the trigger?

During Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, I do all I can to help charities by sharing our story and experiences. I can usually cope with it all absolutely fine – I write blogs, do interviews, create and share images without any issue at all. Until one Wednesday when I was doing a telephone interview with a charity. This is nothing unusual and something I ordinarily do with ease. So, I settled myself down with a coffee and started our story. All was going swimmingly until I was asked to describe our first night on Piam Brown when Felix was diagnosed. As the words came out so did the tears. I hadn’t thought about that first night on Piam Brown until this moment. The feelings of utter fear, confusion and bewilderment came flooding back. I recalled that first night. The hours spent wide awake by Felix’s bed watching him sleep. I tried to sob quietly out of respect for the other family in the ward. I stared at him and tried to tune out the sound of the monitors and children crying. I looked at his innocence and knew that his and our lives would never be the same again. I felt so lonely in that ward. So scared. So powerless. Bewildered. At around 2am the nurse brought me tea and tissues in an attempt to comfort me. I will always be grateful for that compassion during the darkest night of my life.

The phone call ended and all of a sudden I felt exhausted. Utterly tired of it all. I felt depleted. That is the essence of it. The last two and half years had finally taken its toll – I was spent. Twenty-four hours later I sobbed it all out. It was a purge of dormant emotions and feelings that had built up since that first night on Piam Brown.

So what happened next?

Embarrassed by my extremely puffy eyes and being unable to get away with wearing sunglasses, I had to tell people about my emotional meltdown. And for once, I told it for all its glory. I was so surprised by the intensity and power behind the meltdown I described it to people in detail, including the triggers that led up to it. No one had seen in coming as I always appear to cope so well with my positive and pragmatic attitude.

I always believe that you have to reach rock bottom sometimes to gain clarity and move forward. This was one of those moments.

What have I learnt from this emotional meltdown?

If you talk about your lows, honestly and openly with others you will soon find that others are struggling. Those others are probably your friends who appear the most reliable, dependable and stable. We hide it well.

Next time you see a friend, instead of asking them, ‘how are you?’ try asking them, ‘how are you feeling today?’ And if someone asks you, don’t take the easy option of ‘I’m fine’ – tell them how you’re feeling. You may be sad, worried or lonely or conversely, you might be feeling content, happy or excited. If they really care and respect you, they will want to hear about it.

As we leave September behind I can safely say I now feel energised following my purge of emotions. We have just under 7 months of treatment to go and I know we can do this thing. There will be more tears on the way I’m sure of that and fine with that. It’s totally OK not to be OK!

]]>https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/30/my-big-fat-emotional-meltdown-ccam/feed/58183The Sibling Side of the Story by Patricia Easthamhttps://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/30/the-sibling-side-of-the-story-by-patricia-eastham/
https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/30/the-sibling-side-of-the-story-by-patricia-eastham/#respondSun, 30 Sep 2018 08:00:04 +0000https://mrsbrown.me/?p=8131The post The Sibling Side of the Story by Patricia Eastham appeared first on Kerry Brown - Writer.
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]]>https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/30/the-sibling-side-of-the-story-by-patricia-eastham/feed/08131Having a Sister with a Cancer Diagnosis: A letter to Freya’s Brother and Sisterhttps://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/29/having-a-sister-with-a-cancer-diagnosis-a-letter-to-freyas-brother-and-sister/
https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/29/having-a-sister-with-a-cancer-diagnosis-a-letter-to-freyas-brother-and-sister/#respondSat, 29 Sep 2018 08:00:20 +0000https://mrsbrown.me/?p=8180A letter to Freya’s brother and sister Freya’s brother and sister that is how you have become known. From the moment she was diagnosed we all lost who we were as life was now so focused on Freya and Freya’s oncology life. Doctors and other...

]]>https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/29/having-a-sister-with-a-cancer-diagnosis-a-letter-to-freyas-brother-and-sister/feed/08180My Sister has Cancer by Ellie age 6https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/28/my-sister-has-cancer-by-ellie-age-6/
https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/28/my-sister-has-cancer-by-ellie-age-6/#commentsFri, 28 Sep 2018 13:00:40 +0000https://mrsbrown.me/?p=8176I have three children. Felix (8yrs) Ellie (6yrs) and Sofia (3yrs). Sofia was diagnosed with ALL Leukemia in January 2018. The world of childhood cancer is difficult for adults to understand let alone three children all under the age of 10. Felix is EXTREMELY sensitive,...

I have three children. Felix (8yrs) Ellie (6yrs) and Sofia (3yrs). Sofia was diagnosed with ALL Leukemia in January 2018. The world of childhood cancer is difficult for adults to understand let alone three children all under the age of 10. Felix is EXTREMELY sensitive, he’s got a heart of gold but because of this, he is the type of child to cry so Sofia’s diagnosis has been super hard on him. So hard that he’s just not ready to put his emotions into words yet.

However, Ellie is our little whirlwind she’s a force to be reckoned with and will tell anybody and everybody about her “strong sisters fight against the monster cancer”. We don’t know if it’s more of Felix’s and Ellie’s night/day personalities or their ages but they continue to cope and process Sofia’s completely different ways. So here is Ellie’s view on Sofia’s cancer diagnosis.

Who are you? My name is Ellie and I am 6!!!!

Do you have any brothers or sister? Yes! I have a big brother Felix and a little sister Sofia who has cancer.

What is cancer? It’s a sickness that makes people really sick for a long time. I think cancer is a monster!

What do you hate about cancer? It makes Sofia sick and her hair fall out it makes Felix cry and you (mummy) makes you go away a lot as you are at the hospital when Sofia is there and it makes daddy tired.

Do you worry about Sofia? Yes I worry about her and Felix and you and daddy and gramps and grams and all the kids at the hospital

Do you like visiting Sofia in the hospital? Yes, I like the beds there as they can move and I like making her laugh but I like it when she’s home best.

What helps you not worrying? I like to go to school and play with friends and have choosing time.

Anything else you want to say? Sometimes I worry Sofia is going to die and I know Felix worries about that. It makes him sad and then I feel sad. It’s like a big circle so if one person tries to be happy then we can all be happy as the circle will work in a happy way not a sad way and show the cancer monster we are not scared. I hope everyone who battles cancer gets better soon.

]]>https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/28/my-sister-has-cancer-by-ellie-age-6/feed/18176My brother has Cancer by Ethan age 11https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/28/my-brother-has-cancer-by-ethan-age-11/
https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/28/my-brother-has-cancer-by-ethan-age-11/#commentsFri, 28 Sep 2018 09:25:41 +0000https://mrsbrown.me/?p=8173Hello world, my name is Ethan and I am 11 years old. With my dad’s help, I’m going to tell you about me and my brother. Me and my older brother Lincoln who is 12 live with my mom during the week and my dad...

]]>Hello world, my name is Ethan and I am 11 years old. With my dad’s help, I’m going to tell you about me and my brother. Me and my older brother Lincoln who is 12 live with my mom during the week and my dad on the weekends and on some holidays. Lincoln was 9yrs old and I was 7 when he was diagnosed with Chondrosarcoma which is cancer if you didn’t know. It affects the cartilage and bone and nervousness system. Lincoln’s first tumour was on his leg.

Me and Lincoln thought only old people got cancer we never met kids with cancer before. Lincoln had surgery after he was diagnosed we were both really worried we hated being apart so I would visit him lots. Before and after his surgery he had radiation and chemo I kept thinking his radiation was like laser beams that you see in lightsabers like in Starwars but Lincoln says it’s much more boring than that.

Unfortunately, the treatments that he has had has only worked for a little while at a time. Lincoln has now lesions throughout his skelational system including big ones on his pelvis, spine and more recently on his rib cage encasing his lungs and lung wall. A spinal tumour means he can no longer walk and the rib tumour is growing out meaning he has a lump on his side that keeps growing.

I help my mom measure it every day we pray it gets smaller but it doesn’t.

Lincoln’s cancer has been chronic for a long time my dad say it means it’s not if it comes back it’s when. Lincoln has been having radiation and chemo to try and help with his pain and growth. He was on a clinical trial but was kicked off not because he was bad but because of a rib tumour. Lincoln’s cancer is terminal and well I don’t need to tell you all that that means. Lincoln has banned that word from the house he also only lets us cry 2 minutes a day.

Lincoln tells me this isn’t a sad story it’s just what it is and we who’d be thankful for what we have and what we can give.

Me and Lincoln have met WWE superstars, swam with dolphins and have “rubbed elbows” (what my dad would say) with many celebrities including NASCAR. A lot of my friends say I am lucky because of this but what they don’t see is the reason why I got to do all of those things. My big brother, my hero, my protector, my person who once could lift me and spin me around and try out his wrestling moves on me needs my help. He needs me to just use the bathroom, he needs my help when he drops his fork, he takes hours to go to sleep because each side he lays on hurts. I have seen him with wires in his chest where you can see the blood and it looked like it must really hurt. And yes I have been woken up in the night to go to the ER and done my homework on the hospital floor. I watch his face in pain as mum changes his pic line dressing every week.

I sit here and think how does all that make me lucky but then I think hey I am lucky because I am Lincoln’s brother.

With cancer and without Lincoln is the best brother ever, he’s funny, smart, goofy, caring, annoying but just awesome! Right now me and Lincoln are working on a bucket list which is things we want to do before he can’t. I think everyone should do this even if u or your loved one don’t have cancer just do it so you can all do things that you want to do. Lincoln’s 13th Birthday is in December and he said no cancer is getting him until he has turned into a teenager and has had his teenage tantrum. I believe Lincoln can make it he’s strong stronger than me and the hulk.

I don’t know what the future will be like. I hope it will be a future without cancer at all and I know that’s Lincoln’s wish too. He says “if I have to die for kids to get kinder treatments I will”. He’s so compassionate I just wish he wasn’t so much. I just wish he was my brother as I’m selfish and just want him for myself. He’s not a statement he’s my brother for darn sake….. sorry I get angry sometimes but I’m working on it.

I just hate cancer.

I guess my advice to everyone like me is just keep smiling, don’t give up just take it one day at a time.

I have chosen this photo as it’s my favourite. I’m really protective of Lincoln, he calls me his mini bodyguard. Lincoln had just been diagnosed with a spine tumour which took his ability to walk in this photo. Not all chemo makes hair fall out. In all of Lincoln’s aggressive treatment, he has never lost a full head of hair which is lucky as he loves his hair.

]]>https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/28/my-brother-has-cancer-by-ethan-age-11/feed/18173The Sibling Side of the Story by Elisha Barry age 14https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/27/the-sibling-side-of-the-story-by-elisha-barry/
https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/27/the-sibling-side-of-the-story-by-elisha-barry/#commentsThu, 27 Sep 2018 08:00:57 +0000https://mrsbrown.me/?p=8168HAVING A SIBLING DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER: Hearing that someone you are so close to has been diagnosed with something so big is never easy. No one wants to hear that their sibling that they have a bond with, a bond that they don’t have with...

Hearing that someone you are so close to has been diagnosed with something so big is never easy. No one wants to hear that their sibling that they have a bond with, a bond that they don’t have with anyone else, has cancer. What do you say? What can you do? Although you want to help, sometimes it can become the hardest thing! When you feel helpless its horrible and a feeling you never want. You could be seeing someone, who you have grown to love, in hospital and you can’t do anything to stop their pain. It’s challenging.

My sister, Freya, was 9 years younger than me so I was her protector as a big sister that is my job. She was diagnosed when i was 10. It wasn’t easy to want to care for her and to stay with her when she was in hospital. I was always reassured by nurses and doctors that she was ok but putting all trust in strangers is a lot to process. It got difficult and at times when all I wanted to do was help and it felt like I couldn’t. I was determined to be there for her. Anyone would be! My advice would be to realise sometimes you can’t be, sometimes no one can and you just need to recognise it. It may seem impossible but it’s true. Your sibling is in safe hands, nothing would happen to them.

HOW IT AFFECTED ME:

In many different ways it affected my life. Small things would make me worry about her. If my grandparents picked me up from school i would worry where my parents were, if she was ok and I wouldn’t even consider that they could just be busy. Normally it would just be that she had a temperature or a hypo again or sometimes she would just be sleeping but there is always fear that it could be something worse. It didn’t affect my life physically that much I had to sometimes change or cancel plan’s if Freya got taken into hospital but that wasn’t a huge issue as I would have rather been with her anyway.

If ever my mum was in hospital with Freya my dad would be looking after us. My brother would be constantly texting my mum asking how my sister was. I however was much more calm about it as I knew I would see her soon and my dad would tell me how she was doing. Sometimes if I was in school and Freya was in hospital, I would text my mum and ask how she was doing.

HOW I COPED:

Everyone deals with situations in different ways. I liked to be distracted most of the time so that I didn’t think. I would meet with friends, do painting, or play games on my I pad. I sometimes didn’t cope very well if my sister was at home and poorly i would always want hugs and reassurance from my mum that she would be ok. I was very open and honest with my mum about how I felt and I’m glad I was. We would cry a lot and then talk about why and what was going on. I was very emotional when Freya was on treatment.

There was always things to cry about but there were also things to smile about. If Freya did something simple like open a Christmas present at the end of January because she was too ill to over Christmas, every one would be so happy even though it was only one present. To just see that she was well enough to do something as small as that was a huge achievement. Everyone copes in different ways but there is always people to talk to. My brother found that counselling really helped him. It didn’t helped me, I preferred talking to someone who knew the situation that was in the family like my mum. Another thing that helped me process it all was freya’s beads of courage. I counted them on many occasions and sorted how many she needed of each it was a good distraction and a good way to see what she was having done.

When she wasn’t in hospital we would make the most of it by going out. Preferable in a clean place but somewhere not to cold for her and if it was hot then sun cream was a priority. Everywhere you went there was something wrong with it and if there wasn’t, there would be people. You realise that people stare when you are out as they may feel sorry for her/him or want to know what is wrong with them.

My sister, when she had no hair, people would look at her and a few would ask if she

was ok and what was wrong with her. Then she had a ng tube and then when she got her hair back and no tube she was 4 to 5 and in a pram people would look and wonder why. Some would just give sad smiles. This is just a normal reaction. People don’t understand, friends won’t know how to react. In a situation like this you don’t want attention as you would rather not have it at all.

You may feel embarrassed but regret it as it isn’t there fault. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed, everyone goes through problems in life even if they feel tiny compared to yours. It doesn’t matter if people stare most of the time they will just feel worried or sorrow for your sibling and family. They don’t mean to stare or annoy you they are just concerned about your sibling.

WHAT I REMEMBER:

I have blocked out a lot of my sister’s early treatment days. I remember small things like the 1st time she came back from hospital which was near Christmas and I also remember when she had her hair shaved and that day and how she loved the feeling of it. I remember knocking on the door and seeing her smile when we visited her in hospital but I know there is a lot that i don’t remember. I don’t want to remember some things as I don’t want them to hurt me.

I remember one of the 1st times seeing her in hospital and she was asleep and had just had her hickman line fitted. She had blood on her chest and I wanted to cry because she looked in pain. She was normally so bubbly and happy and now she couldn’t move. I didn’t want to cry I wanted to be strong but I couldn’t bare to look at her chest. I don’t remember a lot of other times when she was in hospital as she was so poorly.

I also remember the day I found out what she had and my dad telling us. I didn’t cry and I didn’t think that was normal but I was just in shock. Everyone reacts in different ways. My brother cried straight away but I just wanted to know everything. What was going to happened now and what I needed to do. It’s ok to cry sometimes but sometimes you don’t always feel like it even when you think you should. Cancer is such a shock. Everyone reacts differently. I also remember the day she finished treatment and her ringing the bell and it was over. She got given her final purple bead and a certificate. It was such a precious moment and knowing that she had the all clear was such a relief. Everyone felt happy that day even though there was side effects to treatment, we weren’t bothered as she no longer had cancer.

WHAT MY ADVICE WOULD BE TO A CHILD WHOSE SIBLING HAS JUST BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER:

Time is an important thing and it may feel that time goes so so quick but patience is also a thing and those two things are on your side they will help you. At times there are moments that you will feel so down and so low that you don’t even want to get up but one day they will get through it and you will forget all of the hospital visits and all of the worries will stop. It does take over your life and it does affect your whole family but it will all be ok.

Something my brother really struggled with was that there was a favourite child. There isn’t. Your parents share the same love for all of you which is why they always get your names confused. If may feel like they love the ill child more but in reality it’s just that they have to give more attention to the poorly child and they are as worried as you are. Your parents will help you and give you attention too just not in the same was your sibling needs it. If you feel down your parents will try to be there for you as much as they can. They are your parents too and they love you and your siblings all the same.

You will remember the small things like them smiling at something so small. I promise it’s going to be ok. Also just embrace every moment and be there for them but also yourself and always talk to someone about how you feel even if you know they wont understand it will help to get it off your chest. Also even when it feels impossible, don’t worry! Some days all you want to do is worry but soon they will be home and all that worry would’ve been a waste of time. Crying is also a sign of strength, cry as much as you want and smile every other time you can!

]]>https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/27/the-sibling-side-of-the-story-by-elisha-barry/feed/28168The Sibling Side of the Story by Tom Palmerhttps://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/25/the-sibling-side-of-the-story-by-tom-palmer/
https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/25/the-sibling-side-of-the-story-by-tom-palmer/#respondTue, 25 Sep 2018 08:00:30 +0000https://mrsbrown.me/?p=8128It’s true how cancer affects everyone around. When our son was diagnosed my wife was 10 weeks pregnant. We were getting ready to announce it and begin celebrating with friends and family, that didn’t quite go to plan. Obviously, our second son Noah is just...

]]>It’s true how cancer affects everyone around. When our son was diagnosed my wife was 10 weeks pregnant. We were getting ready to announce it and begin celebrating with friends and family, that didn’t quite go to plan.

Obviously, our second son Noah is just as loved and just as special as Rufus and brings us so much happiness. But, Rufus’ diagnosis took so much from us in being able to truly enjoy and be excited. So even though Noah wasn’t born when cancer hit our family it has still massively impacted on him. We know how cancer in our children affects the way you live as a family.

Another but… on the other hand, Rufus is infatuated with Noah. He is the ultimate big brother and I really think Noah has pulled Rufus through the hard times because Cancer doesn’t just affect the body, the mind needs help too.

]]>https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/25/the-sibling-side-of-the-story-by-tom-palmer/feed/08128The Sibling Side of the Story by Irene Keldiehttps://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/23/the-sibling-side-of-the-story-by-irene-keldie/
https://mrsbrown.me/2018/09/23/the-sibling-side-of-the-story-by-irene-keldie/#respondSun, 23 Sep 2018 08:00:47 +0000https://mrsbrown.me/?p=8144The post The Sibling Side of the Story by Irene Keldie appeared first on Kerry Brown - Writer.
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