I am a wife and mother of 2 who has come through postnatal depression but became addicted to alcohol while doing so.
I have told a bit of my drinking in this blog, my first attempt to quit and then finally how I had my last drink on the 14th of August, 2012.
This blog is my way of not so much returning to the woman I was before I had kids, but hopefully emerging a more rounded, happier and more secure person because of all I've been through and all I am learning from my experiences.

Pages

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

My 6 month sober-versary

As of today I have been sober for 6 months. That's no small feat. I was thinking this morning as I realised how long I've been sober for that I've been beating myself up about dieting and losing weight and eating better and feeling like I just can't do it ... then I thought - if I can stop drinking, I can do anything! Maybe I am just used to beating myself up, but today I stop. Today I focus on what I have done. 6 months ago I was tired of waking up exhausted, deflated, angry and disappointed with myself, a hangover along with a peircing feeling under my skin just from all the alcohol coursing through my body. I had no time for anything really. I was irritable and short with everyone, including my kids.

Today I wake up a bit tired (because my son got up before 6!!) but fine. I am happy that it's Valentine's day and I'm planning to wear pink and make a nice dinner for my family, along with a heart-shaped pav for dessert. I am excited about growing my business after meeting with a business coach yesterday. I'm off to a music class with my little guy and a new friend... and I know I won't sit through the music class in pain, waiting for the annoying songs to finish so we can have a cup of coffee and I can zone out. Instead I'll be singing along and clapping. And perhaps my little guy will nap when we get home so I can try out my new sewing machine!!

Life is by no means perfect, but I can't even tell you how much BETTER it is. Much better than I ever thought it would be. I thought I'd miss drinking, and honestly, sometimes it bothers me to think that somewhere in the future I'll never be able to enjoy just one glass of wine. But I don't want it now. I don't want alcohol AT ALL and if you knew me, you would find that unbelievable.

If you are thinking about quitting and are sick of the cycle of wanting to quit, giving it to drinking then feeling guilty about it (or whatever rut you are caught in) just talk to someone. Talk to a doctor, talk to an alcohol counsellor. Talk to a friend. Talk to yourself in a blog or a journal... or do whatever works for you. Keep thinking about it and get closer to trying it (but do it with medical help if you are addicted to alcohol!!). Talk to me if you like. Email me rosielife@hotmail.com, post on my blog or just keep reading. I'm no expert .. but I there were people I looked to when I was still drinking (thank you Mrs D and One Crafty Mother!) who helped me see there is life after alcohol. And life is good.