You Can’t Blame Regrettable Sex On Alcohol Anymore, Says Science

A recent study conducted by the University of Buffalo suggests that you can no longer blame your poor sex choices on the Henny (or the Smirnoff Ice, or the PBRs, or the Long Island Iced Teas). In a survey of 154 heavy drinkers, researchers found that curbing their alcohol consumption had no bearing whatsoever on the subjects’ decisions to practice safe sex or not.

“It was somewhat surprising that reducing drinking did not lead to a reduction in risky sex,” said lead researcher, Kurt Dermen. “However, it is clear from other research that many factors affect students’ decisions about condom use and partner choice.”

Results were inconclusive as to whether or not there is any correlation between alcohol consumption and booty calling your ex at three in the morning after swearing you’d never, ever do it again.