Calendar

Trying to figure things out

Day: July 20, 2014

Time is a funny thing. As I get have more experiences, (aka, get older!) I realize that experiences can simultaneously feel like yesterday and years ago. I thought these three weeks in Hungary would fly by, and in many ways they did, and in other ways it feels like exactly three weeks, and in one way, it feels like even more.

Meet Bartley

This is Bartley. I think I mentioned in my last post that he’s at home with a dear friend who is taking care of him while we’re gone. He did great for the first week and half or so, but now he’s not really eating, and not playing with her dogs. It really makes me wonder – what’s more stressful, flying with him, or leaving him at home?

I think he’s worrying so much because the year I studied abroad in Hungary, I had to leave him with a friend as well. This is the longest I’ve been gone since then. He’s also a rescue dog, so he’s gone through many periods of thinking he’s found home, only to be uprooted again. (i.e. going from one foster home to another, being in a shelter, etc) I’m feeling pretty guilty…

Here are some more cute pics of him. 🙂

Squeaky toys are the best!

🙂

So, there are two great things about going home on Wednesday: being able to be with Bartley again, and for András and I to have our own space again, so we can have more time for just us, as a couple, and as individuals.

But that’s pretty much it.

Emotions are starting to well up as I walk around the city for what feels like the last time, as I look at the different architecture, hear the beautiful language, feel like myself.

What will it be like to say good-bye to his parents? As much as they love me, I’m the reason their son spends most of his time so far away. What will it be like to go back to my life in Austin? Fit back into my not-at-all European routine?

How can I make my home feel more like home? Logically, I believe the answer to be entirely within myself, but experience doesn’t show that to be true.

I guess we’ll see!

Yesterday was a 1-point day. Today, so far is a 3-point day! Just have to meditate to make it 4.