The aftermath of my life after 9/11, when half my family died. How I am struggling to come back to the self my mother used to love and be proud of while still letting myself grow.

Monday, April 20, 2015

The longest week

Last week Josh's mom flew back to Texas and got biopsies. She flew back on Thursday. There are no results yet. This confuses me, since I thought the whole point of going all the way to Texas was that their hospital gives results quickly. It stresses me out that if it really IS cancer, it's just sitting in Laurie's body, growing bigger and bigger each day. It's hard to understand how she is not just screaming out the stress every second of every day. How she keeps all her freaking out inside is incredible.

This week results should get announced. We are hoping and praying it was a freak misdiagnosis. Laurie claims she feels fine. She looks fine. Her only change is that now she's taking one sleeping pill and one anti-anxiety pill. Maybe that's what's keeping her from screaming all the time.

Josh and I have had a lot of morbid discussions about health and death and stuff. We're like really fucking grownups now.