Saturday, May 5, 2012

The soul can not be sold

Standard disclaimer: Oh man this is going to be a weird one. Maybe no one will have time to come visit today. Oh well, here goes.

In the Reyaverse, there is such a thing as the devil. Yep, there is. You don't have to agree with me!

The devil is a being, like my hair is a being, like dragons are beings, like the clouds are beings. It's a rather looser definition of "being" than would work for some, but that's how it is in the Reyaverse. The devil in my cosmology is a compound substance, made from emotions that accompany poor self esteem: jealousy, anger, fear, distrust, paranoia, lust, greed and such. I could go on but I'm sure you get the picture.

All these awful states of being and the stories the mind produces to explain them aggregate sometimes into more than a sum of individual parts. The compound substance that becomes almost corporeal is the devil. He is one toxic dude, let me tell you! The main tool of the devil is delusion. At times he promises all the things those who hold poor self images might wish for: wealth, stability, fame, stature, good looks, sex appeal. Sometimes he even delivers some of these things, always on a temporary basis.

When he yanks away any of what he promises, well, oy vey - it hurts! This being is fed by suffering and isolation. It must be an exquisite meal he feasts on when the things a person craves are yanked away. My, my.

I speak here from personal experience. I was indeed bedeviled for awhile when I was part of the San Francisco cult into which I was initiated. Eventually, after ruining countless relationships and rendering myself so crazy I couldn't even hold a job, I broke my deal with the devil, partly of my own volition, partly because somebody up there loves me. Every day I sing many odes of gratitudes to the ancestors, angels, spirit guides, animal guides and all the other forces that helped me rip up the contract I stupidly signed, a contract in which I promised to sell my soul. Other forces include two great psychotherapists and the ever luminous Evan Rabinowitz, the sufi acupuncturist who literally saved my life by wiping away the final vestiges. Whew!

When I see clients, neighbors or friends who are riddled with demons, I feel so sad. I want to help them, which is sometimes possible, sometimes not. In the end none of it is up to me, no matter how much I hate seeing people suffer.

The best possible scenario I can imagine is that by battling and suffering, folks are clearing karma and that when and only when it's time, they will tear up their own contracts. I've known people who died without getting out of the contract. It's heartbreaking to think about. Watching people struggle is difficult but important. By observing, I hope to become wiser, kinder and more compassionate.

I think I took on, but subsequently cleared something or another during that crazy time in my life when I really believed the devil owned my ass. Jake, too, had demons. By sitting with him through his long life, perhaps I cleared a few more dust bunnies of old, moldering karma. Perhaps.

Check out any movie that features the devil. The devil never wins, not ever except maybe in The Ninth Gate. I like the comedies, such as Bedazzled, both versions. The very second the protagonist says no to the devil, he or she vanishes like so much dust in the wind and they are free. This is the case in the Reyaverse. In order to say no, a person must believe in herself, trust herself to make it on her own, without all the promised fulfillment from any external source. We are so powerful! If only we knew.

10 comments:

I like the way you face ugly things, Reya. They are ugly, but they are there. I too had demons, and I said no (I call them demons, but that`s of no importance). You are right, once you look them in the eye and say no, they vanish. But it takes courage and honesty. I also know of people who never got over theirs, some died that way. I hope they get a chance to return and start over again. Will we come back? what do you think? I sometimes believe I must have been around before, because I seem to know things I cannot possibly know, but then, perhaps there are other explanations.

Soul transactions are commonplace in DC--I didn't think of it as a literal thing until I'd lived and worked there a few years. (I'm not talking about political figures, I mean people I knew personally.) I now think Faust not just a literary device, and it's no accident he's a scholar.

I really hope you're right that it's possible to get free. I didn't sign on the line, but I made a lot of compromises to get by day to day, and I worry that some of that "compound substance" has stuck to me.

One of the rituals I did during the time I was breaking free was write up my contract with the devil. After I read it carefully, dated and signed it, I tore it into a million pieces and then burned it, carefully burying the ashes.

Rebecca no one is pure, we all have our bouts. As the Sufi acupuncturist says, some people let the demons hijack, take them for a ride. Sometimes they are car jacked, and when that happens, whoa, it's going to be a fight to the death.

to paraphrase some song lyrics...they live their lives in chains never knowing they have the key.

No is a powerful word.

I've never believed that the devil is a real entity, a demon in charge of a place of total misery and pain that the so called loving god sends you to if you don't believe the right things. That there is plenty of evil in the world is obvious but I don't think it is an external force that attaches itself to us. It's just one of the things we are capable of along with greatness, the flip side. We choose to indulge in it, or not, for whatever reason or reward. I also read once that the things we call or label 'evil' are things that we don't fully understand.

on another note...your sufi acupunturist's name is Evan Rabinowitz? That cracks me up!

Ha.It's so funny that the Sufi acupuncturist's name could cause such a wave of hilarity. Yeah. He figured out when he was 19 that the Sufi path made more sense for him. than being a good jewish boy. At times when he was treating me for the end of my possession by demons, he sometimes prayed over me in Arabic. It was the most beautiful sound!

Still I'm glad he no longer feels he must pray when he works on me. Thank god!