So, I Dated An Axe-Murderer… or How to Stay Safe on Tinder Dates

SEXY SUZY 😉

Unless you’re a traditionalist who believes in meeting possible romantic partners only through real-world social interaction, or someone who knows what’s good for them and stays off dating apps, most of us living in this technological age look for love and a good lay through the internet. Most college students aren’t using Farmers Only or Christian Mingle, unless you go to Brigham Young or the like, so the “rules” of etiquette and inherent manners of talking in person aren’t necessarily applied to talking on Tinder or Bumble.

Creating a profile and talking on dating apps is obviously an important part of the whole “getting a date” schtick, but that’s a whole different can of worms and my only advice there is severely platitudinous: just be yourself! What I’m really here to discuss is the whole ‘meeting up in real life with a practical stranger and oh my GOD what if they’re a serial killer?!?!’ part.

If you live with a woman over forty, you have probably seen enough episodes of SVU for a lifetime of nightmares and odd anxieties. There are dangerous people in the world, but that being said, you shouldn’t let these worries stop you from living the life you want. You should feel free to pursue some cute UNCSA boy that thinks “Fight Club” is just, like, the BEST movie ever (I would have to advise against his boring taste, though).

Here are some tips for staying safe and having fun on Tinder dates:

Take your own transportation, just in case you gotta skkrt if they’re weird

Meet in a public place

Tell a friend the time and location of the date, and send them occasional updates

Have a method of defense, whether it’s pepper spray, a pocket alarm or one of those cute self-defense keychains shaped like a cat.

If you do hook up, always always ALWAYS ask if they’ve been tested for STIs recently and use protection no matter what

Tinder is a great way to meet people you may have never had the chance to encounter before, like a lesbian at Wake Forest! She’s cute, smart and can pay $70,000 a year in tuition—what a catch! Above all, let yourself experiment and try new things with different and possibly mind-numbingly boring people. And listen—statistically you most likely won’t go on a date with a serial arsonist, but it is important to protect yourself and take the precautions necessary to feel safe and have fun!