Check your lighting in your apartment hallways or outside your home. Make sure all areas are well-lit at night.

Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator or stairs would be best.

Decide and plan where you will go if you leave home in an emergency situation.

Have a packed bag ready and keep it in a secret but accessible place so you can leave quickly.

Identify a neighbor, family member or friend you can tell about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home. Create a signal for them to call the police, like if a certain light is on, shade is pulled down, or a code word so that the perpetrator will not know that help is on the way.

Safety After an Explosive Incident

Get medical attention if you are hurt in any way.

Call the police, if you haven’t done so already, even if you are in a safe place.

Have the police or a friend or relative take pictures of your injuries.

Speak with an advocate from the local domestic violence program who can help you understand your rights and options.

Safety When Preparing to Leave

If you choose to leave your partner, it is best to do so with a careful plan in place. Batterers often strike back when they believe that you are leaving the relationship.

Leave money, extra keys, copies of important documents, and clothes with someone you trust.

Purchase a calling card or a prepaid disposable mobile phone to use to stay in touch with police and others.

Assess the seriousness of your situation. If the batterer has access to weapons, has threatened homicide or suicide, has stalked you, or abuses drugs or alcohol you may be in severe danger. If this is the case consider relocating and/or changing your identity.

Consult with an advocate from a local domestic violence program.

Safety on the Job and in Public

Friends, family and co-workers can help protect you. Consider carefully which people can help you the most.

Decide which people at work you need to tell about the situation (boss, co-worker, or security).

Have someone escort you to your car, bus or train. Use a variety of routes to go home if possible. Think about what you would do if something happened while going home.

Safety with a Protective Order

Protective orders do not work in all situations, but it is a good idea to have one if you fear retaliation from the batterer for leaving the relationship.

Consult with a court advocate from the local domestic violence program or a victim witness advocate from the district attorney’s office.

Make extra copies of the protective order and keep them with you at all times. Also keep copies in your glovebox, at friends’ or relatives’ homes, at work and at your children’s daycare or school.

Call the police if the batterer violates the order.

If you move to another town or state remember that the protective order is still valid. It is a good idea to register the protective order in your new town.

Safety with Children

Teach your children not to get in the middle of a fight, even if they think they are helping.

Practice calling 911 with them.

If they are old enough, teach them a safe place to go during a violent incident.

Inform the children’s daycare or school of the possibility of violence.

Tell the children not to let anyone know their address.

Safety and Your Emotional Health

The experience of being battered and verbally degraded by your partner is exhausting and emotionally draining. The process of building a new life takes courage and incredible energy.

If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss your safety plan with someone you trust.

Try to go through a third person if you need to communicate with the batterer.

Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.

Attend a support group, if you feel that you need reassurances from others who have been through similar situations.

Decide whom you can call freely and openly to give you the support you need.

Read articles, books and poetry to help you feel stronger.

Find something you like to do for yourself. You deserve to have some happiness and fun in your life.

SAFEPLAN is a partnership program between the Massachusetts Office for Victim Assistance (MOVA), courts, and community based domestic violence and sexual assault programs.

SAFEPLAN works in collaboration with District Attorneys’ Offices and other allied criminal justice and social service agencies. SAFEPLAN provides specially trained and certified advocates to help victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking seeking protection from abuse.

SAFEPLAN Advocates are employed by local, community-based domestic violence and sexual assault programs in 41 district and probate courts across the state. The services they provide to victims are free of charge.

SAFEPLAN Advocates are not attorneys and cannot give legal advice, but are able to provide a referral to an attorney if needed.

All SAFEPLAN services are offered free of charge.

Call A New Day at 508-588-2045 to ask about being set up with a SAFEPLAN Advocate.

Checklist:

This this will help you know what to take when you leave. Consider keeping all of these items in one location. If you have to leave in a hurry, you can grab them quickly. It also may be a good idea to store them outside the home.

Pictures Medical records for all family members Social security card, for yourself & children Welfare identification School records Work permits Green card/immigration papers Passport for yourself & children Divorce papers, including custody order Jewelry Pets (if you can) Children’s small toys Computer passwords and bank PIN numbers

Information provided by the Massachusetts Office for Victim Assistance

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ABOUT HEALTH IMPERATIVES

Health Imperatives is a non-profit community based agency that provides vital health and human services to nearly 30,000 families and individuals each year from communities stretching from Quincy to Nantucket.
Our mission is to improve the health and well-being of low-income or vulnerable families and individuals in Southeastern Massachusetts.

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