What's the hettiquette? A straight person's guide to Gay Pride

Off to Pride this summer? Get your rainbow poncho, your ‘Some People Are Gay, Get Over It’ oyster card holder and a lot of glitter eyeliner?

Perfect – but if you’re rocking straight privilege with that get-up, remember that this is our celebration, you’re our guest and there are a few things your fabulous hosts would like you to know...

1. You're not at 'gay pride'.

2. Don’t make assumptions. The straight couple you see? Not necessarily straight. Pride isn’t just for gay men and lesbians, it’s for anyone under the LGBTQIA umbrella.

Expect to see a bi man showing up with his wife, a group of teenagers, a non-binary couple who don’t do gender but do ‘Theirs and Theirs’ matching t-shirts. You can be trans and straight and march. You can be asexual and march.

You can be so far in the closet you’re hanging out with Aslan and march. The only people who need to ask themselves if they really have a right to be there are the cis straight people – and you definitely don’t get to question other people’s presence just because they don’t fit in with your idea of what ‘gay’ is. If you aren’t down with the whole rainbow, don’t show up.

Pride isn’t just for gay men and lesbians, it’s for anyone under the LGBTQIA umbrellaCredit:
RAUL ARBOLEDA/AFP

3. Be prepared for it to get political. Pride is becoming increasingly corporatized, often sponsored by banks, and there are a lot of people – this ‘Pride Not Profit’ sign-waver included – who don’t like that their identities are being co-opted so companies can show how liberal they are. Some parts of the parade might feel like they’re part of an anti-Tory march – and with the recent deal with the DUP, can you really blame them?

4. Mind your language. There are words that we the LGBTQ community can use that you cannot. Debate the fairness of that elsewhere, but just because we call ourselves queer, dyke, homo in the safety of our own community, do not assume that gives you carte blanch to do the same.

5. Don’t play coy. It’s an event celebrating sexuality, so when you’re browsing the stalls looking for the perfect badge to show your support of our rights, be a goddamned grown up and don’t giggle when you see the adult items. Oh, and don’t take the dental dams unless you’re planning on using them. Some of us have plans later.

If you’re rocking straight privilege at Gay Pride remember that this is our celebration, you’re our guest and there are a few things your fabulous hosts would like you to knowCredit:
Vianney Le Caer/AP

6. Only take photos with express permission. Just because someone is at Pride, doesn’t mean that they’re out and proud (or even necessarily gay).

In the age of social media, it’s all too easy to out someone without meaning to – if you want to post pictures, make sure everyone in them is OK with it and that the faces of any strangers are blurred out. If you’re going to party with us, make sure you keep us safe.

7. We are not your accessories. We don’t exist to add a bit of rainbow flair to your Instagram feed. Ask before you pose with a drag queen, don’t borrow someone’s sign to make yourself look progressive (but do bring your own signs! Don’t just lend us your presence, lend us your voice).

8. Learn the history. The Stonewall riots were started by trans women of colour in the summer of 1969. It may, depending on who’s organising it, look like an all-day dance party, but while you’re downing the shots raise a glass to people like Sylvia Riviera and Harvey Milk who fought for our right to live and love, proudly and in public.

9. Don’t ask when ‘Straight Pride’ is. Seriously. If you have to ask, not only should you not be at Pride, you shouldn’t be allowed out of your house without (woke) adult supervision.