FAQ about Couples Therapy

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS about COUPLES THERAPY

If the questions listed below don’t cover your concerns, fee free to call and as me directly. Leave a message on my confidential voicemail (818) 888-7923) and I will return your call as soon as possible. Please leave a few times I might be able to reach you and whether no not you would prefer me to leave a message.

1. What if one of us is reluctant to come in ? How do you deal with this?

2. How long and how often do we need to come?

3. How can couples therapy help us? What happens in sessions?

4. When we did therapy in the past, my partner felt ganged up on. How can we avoid that from happening again?

5. Do you take insurance?

6. What are your office hours?

1. What if one of us is reluctant to come? How do we deal with this?

First of all, it’s quite understandable that someone is reluctant at first to see a complete stranger about such person matters as an intimate relationship. Often one partner is more interested or reluctant that the other. Prior to making an appointment, I am available by phone for either one or both of you to ask questions and to get a feeling about our rapport. My commitment to you is to help each of you see and understand the validity of your feelings and how they pull you into the negative patterns in which you are stuck. Even when someone has acted inappropriately and has hurt his/her partner, I avoid judgments and criticism. My approach is to create safety so that people feel encouraged to be open and disclose vulnerable feelings. In such an empathic and supportive environment, a person is far more likely to take responsibility for negative behaviors and for hurting his/her partner.

2. How long and how often do we need to come?

When you start therapy, it is best to come weekly . A weekly meeting allows us ( you and I) to build trust and establish a regular rhythm that is helpful in keeping you and your partner on the path that will restore intimacy and connections It takes a while to become aware of how each you contributes to the repetitive negative patterns that have built up over a long time. You will be able to learn how to slow down and maneuver the tricky and slippery slopes that pull you in to these patterns. How long until both of you feel really good and are able to maintain the benefits of therapy on your own is highly variable and hard to predict. My general estimate is 3 to 12 months. When partners report over a few session that they are able to recognize and shift from an escalated dialogue to a conversation that takes each other’s point of view into consideration and that they can go from rupture to repair in shorter times, therapy has accomplished the goal providing the couple the skill to get unstuck and feel close again.

3. How can Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples help us? What happens in session?

EFT can help couples reduce emotional reactivity to one another by creating a temporary model of a “safe haven.” In this mutually supportive environment blaming/shaming, finding the bad guy and who’s right or who’s wrong, can be set aside so that each person can feel heard and understood in new ways. With EFT I help couples to express themselves in better ways so that the hidden validity of their most authentic feelings can be understood. Gradually, their reactive interactions slow-down and calm down. As fear of their partners dismissiveness, rejection and anger diminish, escalation recedes. This leads to a softening of the blaming and lessening of distancing patterns that are barriers to reconnection. This mutually supportive “safe haven” invites the understanding and empathy that allows a major shift and restores loving feelings.Prior to making an appointment, I am available by phone for either one or both of you to ask questions and to get a feeling about our rapport. My commitment to you is to help each of you see and understand the validity of your feelings and how they pull you into the negative patterns in which you are stuck. Even when someone has acted inappropriately and has hurt his/her partner, I avoid judgments and criticism. My approach is to create safety so that people feel encouraged to be open and disclose vulnerable feelings. In such an empathic and supportive environment, a person is far more likely to take responsibility for negative behaviors and for hurting his/her partner. Through EFT, I can coach and encourage you to structure new interactions that help you to sustain an enduring and loving relationship My goal is to have you take these skills home with you to create your own “safe haven.”

4. When we did therapy before this my partner felt ganged up on. How can we avoid that from happening again?

As a couples therapist, I am committed to impartiality and to the well-being of the relationship as my primary focus. This means I do not allow partners to be cruel or verbally abusive.If you or your partner should ever feel you’re being misunderstood by me or being unfairly treated, please let me know so it can be addressed. I I am sincerely committed to creating a therapeutic evironment where each of you feels safe, fully understood, and treated fairly and equally.

5. Do you take insurance?

I accept Medicare plus supplemental. Beacon, Magellan and Prime. Upon request, I will provide a billing statement for you to submit to your insurance carrier for reimbursement based on what your policy allows. The specific eligibility and amounts of coverage vary so widely from carrier to carrier that you will need to call your insurance provider and make this determination yourself.

6. What are your office hours?

I see clients from Monday mid afternoon - evening, and Tuesday-Thursday, 10PM-9PM.