Tag: The Happy Witch Project

When I started my 28 Days of Self Lovechallenge, I expected February to be a fun month of self-care practices to help me progress on my path of healing. What I didn’t expect was the emotional rollercoaster I went through.

Focusing on what makes you happy also forces you to acknowledge what makes you unhappy.

I had to face my shadows in ways that really shook me, battling the hissing voices in my head whispering those ugly words-

“You’re not good enough”

“You’re body’s not fit enough”

“You’ve wasted your life.”

Doing all the cute little self-love activities helped take my mind off those voices but they didn’t entirely erase them. Maybe that’s the ugly truth about self-love. It’s not all butterflies & rainbows. Sometimes self-love is the ability to love yourself through the icky grime that rears its ugly head from time to time.

My shadow self was the mean girl I always avoided. She picked at every insecurity, kicked me when I was down, and made me feel like I was unworthy of self-love. She was a bully. She made me feel like giving up on myself was the only option. And that’s what bullies do- isolate & destroy. I had been bullied so much the past couple of years that I began to bully myself.

Everyone has their own shadows. You can’t outrun them. You can’t hide from them. But you also can’t hide within them. There’s only one way to handle shadows- you face them.

Instead of listening to the whispers and accepting them for fact, I asked myself questions.

“Why do I think I’m not good enough? Is it because I’m comparing myself to others who are more successful? Didn’t they have to start somewhere as well?”

“Why am I so hard on my body? Am I really not fit or am I holding myself to an impossible standard of beauty that society has forced upon me?”

“What defines a wasted life? Lack of money? Lack of status? Do those things really matter in the end?”

The answers to these questions were obvious. I learned how to challenge my inner mean girl and put that sheisty bitch in her place!

Now when I hear those whispers stirring, I turn on the spotlight and take a closer look. I guess that’s the thing with shadows- once you’re brave enough to shine a light on them, they disappear.

On the seventh night of Yule, I dreamt up my plans for July and listed them in a journal I had received from an awesome friend who knows I’m basically a list-freak.

It’s called The 52 Lists Project: A Year of Weekly Journaling Inspiration by Moorea Seal. The book’s sections are broken down by season and it’s filled with list prompts to help put dreams into actions.

July is the time for summer vacations and relaxation. It also happens to be the month of my birthday so I usually end up planning a relaxing vacation anyway.

This year I created a Summer Bucket List. Here’s a little bit of my list so far:

Make my own Raspa Bar. Most people know them as snow cones or shaved ice, but in south Texas we call them raspas and top them with everything from fresh fruit to gummy bears to Mexican candy.

Spend the day antiquing and thrift-hunting for hidden treasures.

Swimming, Sunbathing & Sandwiches. When I was a kid, my siblings & I would spend our entire summer swimming in my tia’s pool with my cousins. And for some reason my favorite part was when we’d all come back inside for lunch, wrapped in towels and munching on sandwiches watching Grease for the hundredth time.

Go to an Amusement Park.

Sonic Dates. In our last apartment, the electricity would randomly go out usually in the middle of July- the hottest time of the year. So our only solace was to take a trip to our nearest Sonic Drive-In and cool down with ice cold slushes or their famous Sonic Blast ice cream combos. After a while, it just became a summer tradition.

Slumber Parties. Simply lugging the mattress into the living room and piling it high with pillows and blankets- takes an otherwise dull night into an adult slumber party.

Movie Night with Big Red Floats. Most Texans drink their Big Red with a couple of barbacoa tacos every Sunday morning but in the summer I like to pair it with vanilla ice cream and slurp the pink fizzy-goodness with a straw.

Like this:

The December Esbat is a great time for goal setting and contemplating the year that has passed.

Have I accomplished any of the goals I’ve set for myself at the beginning of the year? Am I getting closer to any of the goals I haven’t reached yet? How can I plan to achieve those goals in the coming year?

Today I’m celebrating the Oak Moon with a big cup of coffee and a whole ‘lotta planning! I begin by meditating on a few contemplative questions, such as:

What are my big goals for the coming year?

What are my goals for the four seasons?

What are my goals for each of the eight Sabbats?

What are my monthly goals for the next twelve months?

What are my goals for my new daily habits?

As the goals start coming to me, I do a quick Brain Dump which is a way of decluttering your mind on a piece of paper and then organizing them into structured categories. This can be done as frequently as you like in order to stay organized- monthly, weekly, every morning, etc.

From there I make page layouts for the year, the seasons, the Sabbats, the months and my daily habits- where I will list my goals for each and how I plan to achieve them. Every Esbat I’ll check in on the past month and adjust my goals for the following month accordingly in my Pagan Bullet Journal.

If you’re not familiar with Bullet Journaling or BuJo, as it is known in the planning community, I recommend checking it out. This is a great system for all types of planning but I find it especially useful for pagan planning. Keep an eye out for a future post about my Pagan Bullet Journal, which will give you a better idea of how I like to plan.

Tonight I’ll set my intentions by sitting comfortably at my Esbat altar and visualizing my goals with a black manifesting candle and a couple of helpful runes and crystals.

As I said in The Happy Witch Project, I’m determined to make 2017 a productive and happy year. I truly believe goal-setting and planning is crucial to accomplishing your dreams and I don’t think I would’ve been able to pursue my passion for writing and paganism if I didn’t plan this blog into fruition.

How are you celebrating the Oak Moon and what big plans do you have for this coming year?

I don’t know about you but 2016 was not the happiest year of my life. From losing my health, my job, my apartment and a few people I thought were my friends- it’s safe to say this year pretty much kicked my ass.

It took a lot of shadow work, gratitude lists, quality time with my loved ones and tons of Pinterest inspirational quotes to remember- life is what you make of it.

So with my heart and soul- battered and bruised, I made it my mission to get my happiness back.

My path to happiness began with healing.

After countless visits to the doctor accompanied with expensive medical bills, I couldn’t get a definitive diagnosis for my painful stomach issues. I would wake up almost every morning vomiting, enduring sharp abdominal pains and trying to find the strength to peel myself off the bathroom floor.

Not only was I fighting for my physical health, I was also fighting for my emotional & mental health. For longer than I’d like to admit, I was the constant victim of some pretty relentless workplace bullying. It took a full-on emotional breakdown to decide that my health was worth more than a paycheck. And so, after five years working at a place I considered my home- I decided to quit.

At the time, I thought my life was over. I couldn’t afford my rent or my bills. I could hardly afford to feed myself.

But it turns out, quitting was the best decision I ever made.

I began to focus on my spirituality again, and of course, the Goddess- the eternal healer, was there for me when I needed her the most.

Crystal healing helped to reenergize me, rebalance my chakras and calm my anxious heart. It wasn’t long before my health began to improve and I suddenly realized all my emotions and stress are closely connected to my stomach- which is common in a lot of Cancerians.

I’m still on this healing journey and am determined to make 2017 my happiest year yet. I encourage anyone who is dealing with anxiety, depression and unhappiness of any kind- to join me in my Happy Witch Project where I will be posting about my personal path to happiness in the hopes it might help someone who’s struggling with their own.

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