Millennials in love: How do modern couples interact?

Strauss and Howe defined the term “Millennials” as the children born in 1982, who became the High School class of 2000. Sociologists and psychologists expanded the term to the “demographic cohort of people born starting in the early 1980s to the mid-1990s”.

Currently in their 30s and mid-20s, they are taking longer to marry and have children, have high life and career ambitions, and look forward to making an impact and contribution to mankind with their work, participating in volunteerism and activism. They have had a strong influence of technology in their lives, as they were the users of innovations created by Baby Boomers and Generation Xs.

Cultural anthropologist Simon Sirek says that the millennial generation needs to learn patience, and the constant use of technology has caused that many did not develop the skills for social interactions that help create deep meaning relationships. It has an impact on the way these individuals fall and stay in love and form a family of their own.

How is the millennial family?

Jose Longoria and his family

Mr. Jose Longoria, doctoral candidate in Sociology and current Cambridge Sociology teacher at Ronald W. Reagan/Doral Senior High School explained that “as socioeconomic conditions have changed so how has the family. The millennial family is a product of social upheaval and economic insecurity. Millennials today grew up in a world where mom is expected to be an active participant in the labor market, and dads are now expected to share a greater portion of household duties and play a larger role in child rearing.”

“However, we are seeing a trend of millennial waiting longer to have children and get married due to economic insecurity or desire to pursue a career or passion. For many millennials, technology is an integral part of their daily lives, and […] parents have no qualms with handing an electronic device to a crying child. Additionally, social media has made it so that parents feel the need to document and share every single event of their child’s life regardless of its significance, all in search of praise and recognition in the form of likes, shares, or retweets.”

An early millennial himself, Longoria has been married since 2009 to his wife Cristina and have four beautiful children under the age of 5, including a pair of twins. “People often say that we make parenting look easy, and by no means are we experts on the matter; however what we always focus on is making sure that we are on the same page and create a detailed plan which helps us stay on track. The most important thing we do is that we always make time for each other and ourselves since we know that if we are not happy then we cannot create a happy and loving home environment for our children.”

Longoria explained that “technology has reshaped the traditional patterns and rituals of courtship and in some cases through sophisticated algorithms turned it into a science. Individuals today can avoid the arduous and often awkward dating rituals by swiping left or right, or filtering for specific attributes as if one were buying a car or home.”

How do couples use technology to keep the flame burning?

Karla Cruz and Gerardo Zayas are the typical millennial couple. They are in their late 20s and have been married for 3 years. They are working hard to establish themselves before starting a family. Karla says that technology has been a great part of their life since the beginning of their relationship 8 years ago.

Julio Morales and Onika Ferrer

“At the beginning we used texts, with abbreviations so it all fit in one message. It was as if we had our own communication code, because we understood each other. Since we got smartphones it has a downside, because we use it for entertainment and sometimes instead of talking to each other we spend time on Facebook or Instagram. It helps for quick access to each other when we are away, but when we are together sometimes technology is “in the middle”.”

Other couples, like Onika Ferrer and Julio Morales, who have been married 23 years say that technology “has a high impact if you use it in excess and end up becoming a virtual partner or friend. If you do not disconnect when you get home, the relationships suffer.” They use texts and phone calls during the day but when they get home from work “the time is for us and our family. There is always time for a glass of wine and a conversation.”

Juan Ramirez and Rita Toro got married in 1994. Phone calls and emails were an important part in their courtship, because he lived in Miami and she lived in Caracas. They sometimes spent 6 weeks without seeing each other. “Nowadays, international communication is way easier and people can see each other all the time.”

If it is not posted it is not for real?

When millennials are single, technology allows them to develop relationships that when they cross the virtual frontier into the real world sometimes turn out not being what they expected.

Gerardo Muizzi

Gerardo Muizzi, a 27 year old engineer, thinks that “couples before were more tolerant. Nowadays if you post pictures alone it means you are “single”, but if you appear with a friend it means you are “in a relationship”. People start talking without knowing the truth, as if you did not post a photo together then you are not a real couple. Sounds crazy but those details can put stress in a relationship.”

As long as technology does not become an addiction, it can be a great ally to keep couples in touch and to provide countless means of entertainment that they can enjoy together. Regardless of being Baby Boomers, Generation Xs or Millennials, as long as love and respect prevail there will be hope for the future.