Los Angeles Matchmakers on Why Rebounding Never Works

One of our least favorite aspects of today’s modern dating world, besides casual hookups or friends with benefits, is rebound relationships. People today are jumping back in the dating scene right after they break up with their partner, without properly healing and getting over the breakup as they should.

After a breakup, no matter how long you’ve been together, there is going to be emotional baggage. Your ex meant something to you, so there are going to be feelings you need to work out before you date someone new.

Nobody wants to be your rebound, and you shouldn’t put them through that. A rebound relationship is tainted from the start. Plus, you’re not ready to date someone new. Today, our Los Angeles matchmakers are going to show you the top five reasons why you should never rebound.

1. You’re Dating Out of Spite

You either got dumped by your ex or were the one doing the dumping. Either way, one thing is totally clear: your relationship with your ex is done and over with. If you immediately change your relationship status on Facebook and go from “In a relationship” to “single,” there is a reason behind this… You’re doing it out of spite.

It is entirely possible that you want to find anyone to make your ex jealous. Maybe your main objective is to let your ex know how quickly you moved on from them. Whatever the case might be, if you’re racing to a new relationship, chances are you’re dating out of spite, and that’s never good.

Of course you don’t want to hear that your ex moved on before you, but the relationship is over and you shouldn’t worry about what they’re up to. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. In fact you should only start dating once you’re 100% ready and healed.

2. You Can Get Your Heart Broken

It is super important to be cautious with your heart, especially after a breakup. The breakup left you scarred, you’re dealing with a broken heart, so why would you start dating someone new and risk getting hurt again when you realize you were never ready to move on in the first place? If you start a new relationship at lightning speed, it usually means it will come crashing down faster than it started.

What is the purpose in healing your heart if you’re going to have it broken again soon after? If you’re toying with the idea of entering the dating scene just because you don’t want to feel lonely, stop right now. Rebounding can lead to another broken heart, putting you back to where you started.

As professional matchmakers, we know that you might think you’re completely ready to enter the dating scene again, but chances are that’s not true. Sweeping your feelings under the rug will only work for a little bit. But soon enough, you’re going to have to face them, and that’s where you run the risk of getting hurt again. Don’t allow yourself to fall into a rebound relationship.

3. It’s Not Fair to Them

Think about this for a second: you wouldn’t want someone to use you as their rebound, right? So what makes it okay for you to do it to someone else? If you’re rebounding, you’re hurting someone’s feelings. Your new partner could really be a great person—they could even be the one for you—but if you’re not ready to be in a relationship or are not completely healed, then you’re leading them on, and that’s not fair.

Everyone deserves a partner who is attentive and puts efforts into the relationship, if you can’t give them those things, then why are you dating them to begin with? If the answer is that you only want to be with someone so you’re not lonely, then you’re only being selfish and inconsiderate.

There is a pretty good chance that this new person has feelings for you, but if you’re not 100% invested in the relationship, you’re being selfish and hurting them in the process.

4. You Need to Be on Your Own

If we’re being 100% honest here, there are actually many good things that come from a breakup, like learning how to be on your own and enjoying your newfound independence. If you’ve been in a relationship your entire life, then you probably don’t know what being single means. Being a confident, self-assured person is something to be proud of, believe us.

Venturing back into the LA dating scene just days after a breakup can leave you never knowing how to fend for yourself, which is why you need to take some time away from dating to enjoy yourself. Hopping from one relationship to the next can lead to codependency issues, meaning that you need someone to support you all the time. Of course, this won’t do your self-esteem any good, and you’re preventing yourself from enjoying your single days.

5. It’s Not the Right Time

When you do a cannonball right into the dating scene immediately after the breakup, the truth is that you’re setting yourself up for failure. It’s the case of the right partner wrong time type of deal. It is entirely possible for you to meet the partner of your dreams the day after the breakup, but it’s not the right time.

If you are not emotionally ready and healed from the breakup, you simply can’t start a new relationship. You run the risk of ruining something great because you were not ready. Right now you’re dealing with the whirlwind of feelings from the breakup and are just not ready to start a new relationship.

Do yourself a favor and hit the brakes. If you do find someone who piques your interest, do not dive headfirst but rather take your time getting to know them. If they are the one, they won’t mind waiting until you’re completely ready to date.

When you’re healed from your breakup, don’t venture out into the LA dating scene alone. Our Los Angeles matchmakers here at Los Angeles Singles Dating Service have a large database of eligible singles who are fit and ready to start a relationship.

If you want to meet them, contact us today by filling out the survey at the top of the page and requesting your FREE 90 minute matchmaking consultation today.

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Charles and I met for drinks, he set it up and was a perfect gentleman. I enjoyed his company, he is smart, cute, and respectful - all very desirable qualities. I think we have very similar personal desires and philosophies. This was a great match. This is the quality of person that I joined this service to meet. Thank you!

He was kind, warm-hearted, family oriented, had a great sense of humor, and a good work ethic. We share the same loves for travel, and animals. I can tell he was good-natured. In addition to all of that we’re the same age and live just a few minutes apart. It was a good referral. I enjoyed meeting him.