in 100 words, describe a person. give as much detail as you can without including body measurements. it may be someone you know, or someone you don't. make it as realistic as you can.

enjoy

Sheepish isn’t the half of it. Her dulled brown, ovine eyes stare blandly out from a long and disinterested face, the light brown hair curled about her ears like well-combed fleece, a mysteriously braided challah as if she were Her Serene Princess Leia Organa, post-lobotomy. May the Calm be with You.

She chews. Gum, cereal—tobacco, perhaps—all or any, placid as still water under summer sun. Mastication is more Love than Life to such a creature.

What little, semiconscious love she can bestow is herd-like, gentle. Except in spring, bottom of the ninth, two out.

Sheepish isn’t the half of it. Her dulled brown, ovine eyes stare blandly out from a long and disinterested face, the light brown hair curled about her ears like well-combed fleece, a mysteriously braided challah as if she were Her Serene Princess Leia Organa, post-lobotomy. May the Calm be with You.

She chews. Gum, cereal—tobacco, perhaps—all or any, placid as still water under summer sun. Mastication is more Love than Life to such a creature.

What little, semiconscious love she can bestow is herd-like, gentle. Except in spring, bottom of the ninth, two out.

What was it about her ? The clear grey eyes smiling softly out of a round, gentle face? Her long dark blonde hair which caressed me, and the yearning in her soft, cupid bow lips when we kissed? Perhaps the feel of her long fingers when they touched me as her strong arms held me? Or the way her long, long legs wrapped themselves around me when we made love? The swell of her ample hips and curve of her modest breasts under my hands. Mostly I think it's the sound of her gravelly, smoker's voice saying 'I love you'.

__________________Menopausal Teenager and unofficial Auntie to the AH playroom.

Always she’s alone. She will sit, unseeing in a crowded room, childish thumbs winding twisting brittle grey hair, waiting for someone, for some thing, for the end. The end of the day, the end of the session, the end of all the full and varied life she’s lived. Through two world conflicts, three monarchs and a 100 years of still vital, still fit, still here.
Then the tears and a brightening smile at the sound of just her name. And everyone that speaks to her is very kind and must think her a baby. “I’m 99”. She doesn’t remember 100.

Always she’s alone. She will sit, unseeing in a crowded room, childish thumbs winding twisting brittle grey hair, waiting for someone, for some thing, for the end. The end of the day, the end of the session, the end of all the full and varied life she’s lived. Through two world conflicts, three monarchs and a 100 years of still vital, still fit, still here.
Then the tears and a brightening smile at the sound of just her name. And everyone that speaks to her is very kind and must think her a baby. “I’m 99”. She doesn’t remember 100.

Loved this one, but does age count as a 'body measurement' ??

__________________Menopausal Teenager and unofficial Auntie to the AH playroom.

Ethan was Marcie's cousin. He was younger than her. He thought she was a spoiled, no-it-all brat, but he was less verbally skilled than she and couldn't always defend himself when she was bossing him. Sometimes, being shy, he went along with her, but in almost all cases, his anger and humiliation at being bossed caught up with him and exploded in a violent outburst.

Out in the field, he stood in elastic jeans and striped shirt, hands on hips, belly jutting forward, his little brain whirling for a way to take control of his life back from her.

A storm, spirited and wild, full of passion, verging on the horizon – that was my memory of Sonny. Streaks of sun, vivid and dazzling, shone in his smile and the color of his hair. The touch of his hand was a bolt of pure electricity. The taste of his kiss was honeyed bliss. In his laughter was the sound of joy. In his words was the promise of love. One glance from his glittering eyes and the world disappeared until there were only we two. He was everything, the ruler of my heart.

Out now, on eXcessica and in print on Amazon: Shelter From The Storm and Spell of Appalachia.

~~~~

SweetWitch is my best friend in all of LitDom, notwithstanding our CURRENT FEUD, and she can post in any thread of mine any time the mood strikes her.
~Marsh Alien
Welcome to a world of unbridled sensuality, where the only restrictions are from insufficient imagination. A world of fantastic sexual delights and overwhelming passions.
You're about to enter--The Naked Party Zone.
~TE999

My heart was stunned to silence as I gazed upon her face. Her eyes took my breath away, pools of cool blue liquid that shone with such brilliance, even in the bright lights of the ballroom, they were a beacon. She wore a floor length black dress without decoration. As she moved, gliding would be more appropriate, a flash of leg would wink at me from the slits at the sides. The delicate curve of her neck flowed out of her dress, sweeping down to her bare shoulders across the sweet sweep of the top of her breasts. The jiggle behind the dress confirmed that she worn no bra and the smoothness of the dress as it hugged her hips proved she had forgotten her panties.

Marisa was tall as an oak and thin as a reed. Her arms and legs seemed to go on for miles. The arms ended in almost skeletal hands that seemed like they could claw away flesh. Her head seemed a perfect match for her guant form. Her cheek bones were high on her narrow face. Her eyes were thin, but the green irises seemed to focus in sharply on whatever had her attention, much as a hawk’s would on its prey. Her flaxen hair was long and straight as it slid down her back and well past her skiny rear.

these are all wonderful. anyone want to try a description of a character of the opposite sex to the one you just portrayed? it doesn't matter what age you choose, just try to show their age in the 100 words (show, don't tell).

Dec peels his head up and back, unveiling a face spoiled with blood-clotted razor nicks and hoary stubble. His stale breath hits my cheek a raunchy mixture of hops and nicotine. Everything he wears muted and stained with age; he almost blends into the gray wall behind us. To get a clear picture of Dec back in the day you have to clean him up a little. Shower him, brush his teeth, comb his hair, cut it too, shave him, and pat on some Old Spice. Dress him in a vomit green tie, pastel button down, and creased khaki Dockers.

He was round and short, but his limbs were thickly muscled. His face was round and pudgy, but its openness had an odd appeal, a boyish charm if you will, about it. His short blond hair was a mess, not combed, but just slicked into place with his hand. Well, at least he thought it was in place, but it was still sticking out at odd angles. His jersey was a stylish white with red decals. His shorts left something to be desired, an ugly purple color and much too tight for him. Jared was a man of distinct contradictions.

She's tall with long, muscular legs and arms that complement her firm, round ass and tits. She's built like a brick outhouse......Her hair is long and straight and frames a freckled face that has a turned up nose and full lips.....Her almond shaped brown eyes are perched above some high cheekbones......
A spray of multi-colored freckles covers her breasts and back while her stomach and thighs are tawny and white.......
I've been in love with her forever
Inside - she's a primal tangle of heat, whore, and virgin........

in 100 words, describe a person. give as much detail as you can without including body measurements. it may be someone you know, or someone you don't. make it as realistic as you can.

enjoy

I was tall that summer, and skinny but after boot camp, Infantry school, and Jump school I was now sort of muscled but still taller that most of my compatriots. My uniform fit a lot better now as I stood in the rain, my helmet hiding the short stubble of my brown hair and kept the cool December drizzle off my still sharp cheekbones my mother gave me. My father had contributed to me a long prominent nose and some distant Celtic ancestor my narrow jaw, the teeth fighting for room had caused then to overlap and jousting for room.

just some food for thought - not sure if anyone wants comments or not, please don't be offended by them, i'm just thinking out loud a little.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incitatus

Dec peels his head up and back, unveiling a face spoiled with blood-clotted razor nicks and hoary stubble. His stale breath hits my cheek a raunchy mixture of hops and nicotine. Everything he wears muted and stained with age; he almost blends into the gray wall behind us. To get a clear picture of Dec back in the day you have to clean him up a little. Shower him, brush his teeth, comb his hair, cut it too, shave him, and pat on some Old Spice. Dress him in a vomit green tie, pastel button down, and creased khaki Dockers.

love this. any particular reason you choose present tense? i like the 'voice' that begins to show through here.

if you reworded this 'comb his hair, cut it too' to 'cut and comb his hair' you could add in 'is' between 'wears' and 'muted'.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feral_Intelligence

He was round and short, but his limbs were thickly muscled. His face was round and pudgy, but its openness had an odd appeal, a boyish charm if you will, about it. His short blond hair was a mess, not combed, but just slicked into place with his hand. Well, at least he thought it was in place, but it was still sticking out at odd angles. His jersey was a stylish white with red decals. His shorts left something to be desired, an ugly purple color and much too tight for him. Jared was a man of distinct contradictions.

i note you've got 100 words. if you edited to remove some of the repetitiveness and replaced them with more description would that improve the exercise or not? having said that, there is a certain 'voice' showing through, so in altering the paragraph there's a chance some of that voice will be lost. - food for thought

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragonlipz

She's tall with long, muscular legs and arms that complement her firm, round ass and tits. She's built like a brick outhouse......Her hair is long and straight and frames a freckled face that has a turned up nose and full lips.....Her almond shaped brown eyes are perched above some high cheekbones......
A spray of multi-colored freckles covers her breasts and back while her stomach and thighs are tawny and white.......
I've been in love with her forever
Inside - she's a primal tangle of heat, whore, and virgin........

88 words

a question for you. you have a few words to add to make up the 100 of the exercise, if you added more to 'show' what makes her a 'primal tangle of heat, whore and virgin', what would you add?

Quote:

Originally Posted by JackLuis

I was tall that summer, and skinny but after boot camp, Infantry school, and Jump school I was now sort of muscled but still taller that most of my compatriots. My uniform fit a lot better now as I stood in the rain, my helmet hiding the short stubble of my brown hair and kept the cool December drizzle off my still sharp cheekbones my mother gave me. My father had contributed to me a long prominent nose and some distant Celtic ancestor my narrow jaw, the teeth fighting for room had caused then to overlap and jousting for room.

An exercise in self description of long long ago.

i like this, it has a good base. i think i would edit a little, perhaps reword in a couple of places. i seem to be hunting for a mind image when i read 'now sort of muscled'... i don't get any specific clear image. maybe saying that you were 'fit' would give a more direct image of body shape, i think. does it sound better to you?

I would have preffered to not use the word "round" twice like that, but another fitting word would not come to mind. Describing people has always been a trick for me because I do not really understand how to describe body types or face structure. Still, I think overall it did come out to a fairly vivid discription.

I would have preffered to not use the word "round" twice like that, but another fitting word would not come to mind. Describing people has always been a trick for me because I do not really understand how to describe body types or face structure. Still, I think overall it did come out to a fairly vivid discription.

there are other devices to use for character description - i've put up another couple of exercises that might interest you... maybe the dialogue.

you can also use description from the perspective of another character. how that character sees the character being described. sometimes that can trigger different ways of saying things.

in novel writing, a character might be described over many chapters, not normally all in one straight 100 word stretch like this.

would you like me to give you more food for thought on your description? i can edit some of the writing to give you an example if you like.

Please do. This is an area where I really do need to grow as a writer. I'm more addept at writing combat and plotline than appearance, but appearance is important.

okay let's see if i can add anything without losing what you have here.

i think the word 'round' is okay to repeat. the words that could be better are 'but' and maybe 'his'...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feral_Intelligence

He was round and short, but his limbs were thickly muscled. His face was round and pudgy, but its openness had an odd appeal, a boyish charm if you will, about it. His short blond hair was a mess, not combed, but just slicked into place with his hand. Well, at least he thought it was in place, but it was still sticking out at odd angles. His jersey was a stylish white with red decals. His shorts left something to be desired, an ugly purple color and much too tight for him. Jared was a man of distinct contradictions.

He was round and short, but his limbs were thickly muscled.
He was round and short with thickly muscled limbs.

His face was round and pudgy, but its openness had an odd appeal, a boyish charm if you will, about it.
His face was pudgy, its openness had an odd appeal, a boyish charm.
note: round and pudgy are both saying the same thing, so one word is only needed to convey the same image. (tautology)

His short blond hair was a mess, not combed, but just slicked into place with his hand.
is it possible to have hair that's a mess, 'slicked into place'. i think 'slicked' might be the wrong word, perhaps 'flattened' let's see...
His short blond hair was a mess (that's 'telling' not 'showing')
Uncombed, his short blond hair was slicked into place with his hand.

Well, at least he thought it was in place, but it was still sticking out at odd angles.
how about combining...
Uncombed, his short blond hair was slicked into place with his hand, at least he thought it was in place but actually stuck out at odd angles from his head.
is that any better? might still be too wordy.

His jersey was a stylish white with red decals.
His jersey was stylish white with red decals.
is 'a' essential to convey voice or description?

His shorts left something to be desired, an ugly purple color and much too tight for him.
'left something to be desired' is a cliche saying in this country, but can still stay in the description. hmm, how about something like...
Ugly purple tight shorts completed today's look.

Jared was a man of distinct contradictions.
i like this. a statement. no extraneous verbiage.

okay so altogether this is what we have now...

He was round and short with thickly muscled limbs. His face was pudgy, its openness had an odd appeal, a boyish charm. Uncombed, his short blond hair was slicked into place with his hand, at least he thought it was in place but actually stuck out at odd angles from his head. His jersey was stylish white with red decals. Ugly tight purple shorts completed today's look. Jared was a man of distinct contradictions.

that takes you down to 74 words giving you 26 more to play with... the question is, did i alter too much to loose anything you were conveying.