Losing My Mind – but its ALL OKAY!

Have you ever witnessed yourself making up reasons to justify something that’s made you feel guilty? I started doing that today because I wasn’t being very productive. And because I was being unproductive, I started questioning the whole idea of guilt. Why did I think myself unproductive for doing what I was doing? And why was that bad and worthy of guilt? Obviously at some point in my existence, somebody told me that not doing meant lazy or wrong somehow, and I bought into that!

It’s funny – someone out there has made me feel guilty without even being aware that they’ve made me feel guilty! Of course, the flip side is someone who did or said something knowing just how you might react! And in that case, when you realize you feel guilty, what actions have you taken to compensate for that? Was there a compromise? Did you argue? And regardless of the action taken, did you feel good in the end? Did it lighten the guilt or create another emotion? Perhaps you felt vindicated because you managed to make yourself right?

Then I asked myself, is that the way we make our world make sense? And that got me thinking that you can only feel guilt or any other judgment or emotion, if you’ve bought into the notion about what someone else thinks? Our actions belong to our experience – period

Think about it. There is not a single soul on this planet we call earth that is having the exact same life experience – ever! Our experiences are uniquely ours! It’s pretty incredible and hard to comprehend because the variations in living go on forever! Everything times the number of earth bound humans, being – that mathematical equation must equal infinity!

And the layers of complexity are simply astounding!

I’m beginning to understand that to mean that there is and can only ever be, one person and one dream being played out in any given moment of time – told you I was losing my mind! But hear me out.

If we all see the world through different lenses, then we are all living in OUR OWN WORLD! And that means there are over 7 billion worlds in existence, all occupied by ONE, BEING!

Another approach – there has been a nuclear disaster and the only person left standing in your world is “I” being “YOU”. There is nothing that exists in your world but “YOU”. But, “I” being “YOU”, well, I still exist too! Do you think I need Valium?

We can all see what is going on in everybody else’s world, and we decide how we feel about how they are living. We can judge them right, and join them for a particular experience. We can judge them wrong and label them accordingly. We can try to change them or we can simply walk away and let them BE.

Do we see into everyone’s world so that we can keep expanding our own? And if the answer is yes, did we ask everyone to be here? Is their purpose to help us learn to just quietly witness another way to BE? Maybe I need something stronger than Valium?

We may not understand or appreciate the actions of someone else, but is that any reason to make them a part of your experience by reacting in a way that doesn’t feel good?

That’s a tough question because we see things we call horrifying, disgusting and scary. We call people monsters, and animals and crazy. We make them ugly and bad for what they’ve done in their world. And there is always a story or something to see, which makes us feel right in labeling them so.

So I wonder, in staying and seeing this thought through, do our thoughts on those issues help them continue to Be? Will we keep witnessing or experiencing those moments until we learn to stop judging and giving them names? I’m squirming a bit, but won’t label myself wrong. Or right for that matter! But I can’t help thinking that maybe we’re supposed to see, that everything is okay, just as it BE.

That statement is still a question, nothing but words – a new concept for me, but I’m feeling a shift having let those words be. In labeling me guilty, I set my mind free.