10 things couples do when they’re too comfortable

In honor of Valentine’s Day tomorrow (woof), I decided I’d talk about something I heard on the radio a few weeks back. I didn’t get to listen to the entire program but I heard the topic and that was enough to inspire me to write this blog post.

Things couples do when they start to get too comfortable.

So you’ve been dating Joe Schmo for a couple of months now and you’re totally smitten. He holds the door for you, he pays for your meals, and he gives you the kind of butterflies you get when Luke Bryan shakes his booty on stage. Oh wait, that’s a different feeling…

Anyways… things are going great and you decide to spend the night together. You have a fabulous night and you wake up to the handsome hunk you’re totally digging. And then it happens. He farts in your bed, and you’ve opened up a whole new can of worms.

You have two options; 1. laugh it off and carry on your conversation or 2. look at him in disgust and ask him if he just crapped himself. Personally, I’d go with option 1 because otherwise, the awkward train is moving in and fast.

But besides the first time you or your significant other pass gas in each other’s presence, what other things do couples do once they get too comfortable with each other?

1. Burp: I mean, what’s the fun in drinking beer with him if you can’t try and one up the burp he just let out?

2. Talking about bowel movements: Don’t make me bust out the “Everybody Poops” book, people. We all do it, so let’s just own it.

3. Talking about the future: I don’t mean getting all “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” crazy and merging your baby pictures in Photoshop but I mean, the talk has happened and you can totally see yourselves together down the road.

4. Cursing: I sometimes swear like a sailor (sorry Mom and Dad), and I’ve never had a problem doing this around Z since the beginning. But some people hold back and then one day, it’s all sh*t, f*ck, co*k, balls (name that movie…).

5. Being honest: You all probably know my stance on liars but I’m talking about brutal honesty here. No need to sugar coat things anymore…like “you need to shave” or “that shirt is ugly” and “you’re the worst driver ever.”

6. You fight in public: when at one time you would politely excuse yourself to have a conversation, all bets are off now. You’re at the bar, you’re out of your mind drunk, and you think you see him check out another girl. WORLD. WAR. III. Not that I’ve experienced that first hand or anything…#drunkgirlproblems.

7. He sees you without makeup: considering I was rolling around in the grass puking the first time Z and I met (that’s a story for another day), I would say it only went up hill from there. But when I was in control, I don’t think I let him see me without makeup or my hair done for a few months in. I mean, I totally look like Children of the Corn without makeup and I sure as hell wasn’t letting him see me that way.

8. Lack of bathroom boundaries: your significant other has stopped changing the toilet paper, left skid marks in the toilet, and hair all over the bathroom sink or clogged the shower drain with it. And don’t even get me started on not spraying Febreeze after taking a doozy in there.

9. What’s mine is yours: you know that box of Thin Mint cookies you were looking forward to after work? Yup, your better half came home during lunch and ate the entire thing. THE ENTIRE THING! Better start hiding things in the produce drawer or writing your name on them because homeboy thinks he’s entitled to everything now.

10. Talking about past relationships: you’ve held out for awhile because you didn’t want to scare him away but now, the cat’s out of the bag. Whether it’s what the douchelord did to ruin your birthday or the one guy who told you he loved you after the first hookup (I’m not kidding, that’s happened). He knows it all and you’ve got no shame in that.

And that my friends, is when you know you’re getting a little too comfortable with your significant other. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing! Well, maybe the bathroom issues but hey, we can’t have it all 🙂

“From one military wife to another, be sure to check out this month’s featured blogger!”