Sergio Garcia is the third-ranked golfer in the world, but he finished 38th out of 50 at The Masters. Why? Because Augusta National stinks!

After finishing 75 and 74 on the weekend, Garcia complained that the course is "too tricky" and not "fair" and something about mudballs in the fairway. Garcia was complaining before he even got to Augusta, he complained during the tournament and now he's complaining after, even trashing the sacred land of the Masters course. (As Padrig Harrington helpfully points out, it was one the easiest Masters setups in years.)

I find it hilarious whenever professional golfers cry that a course is "not fair." (You hear this a lot at the U.S. Open, which will often go to great lengths to baffle players.) First of all: you're all playing the same course, so every tournament is technically fair. Second: Aren't you supposed to be a professional? Third: Now you know how the rest of us feel, you big baby.

Golf is supposed to be a frustrating and obnoxious sport. You only do it to get out of the house and drink beer outside and drive those little carts around. The game itself is designed to crush your spirit and drive you mad. Ask any golfer—if it was easy, it wouldn't be fun.

So quite whining or go be an accountant. You know what really isn't fair? That fact no one got a free golf club this year because Sergio Garcia can't putt at Augusta.