Kim Kardashian Still Insisting She Won’t Put Her Baby On TV…Yeah, Okay

Didn’t anyone ever tell Kim Kardashian not to tell lies? I’m guessing probably not, as it seems like no one ever told her not to make a sex tape with Ray J, either, or to have marriages that last longer than seventy-two days. She’s obviously missing some crucial guidance, because she’s still insisting that she’s not gonna put her current-fetus, future-baby on television. Give me a moment to formulate the exact right response to this revelation, oh here it is, I’ve got it — YEAH. RIGHT.

Kimothy, be reasonable for a moment, here: being on television is all you’ve ever known. It’s literally why you’re famous. It runs in your blood like creepy little hemogoblins. When your sister Kourtney got pregnant, the film crew for your reality show knew before your mom did. Just last week I watched her squirt breast milk on your psoriasis, and I could give you a blow-by-blow description of your nephew Mason’s birth, because I watched Kourtney stoically pull him out of her body with her own hands. So don’t pretend like you’re gonna go all private on me now.

When Jimmy Kimmel asks Kim if the baby will get paid to appear on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, here’s how things go down:

Kim: “Our baby’s not really gonna be on our show.

Jimmy: Never? Baby’s never gonna be on the show?

Kim: No, I don’t think so.

Jimmy: What if the baby feels bad about being the only one left out of the thing?

Kim: Well when the baby’s old enough and he or she decides that’s what they want to do, then that’ll be a decision. But it’s hard because I love seeing Mason and Penelope on TV, Mason is like the highlight of our show, I think. So it’s a tough decision, but I think from the start, as of now, that’s just a personal choice that Kanye and I have made. And I know Kourtney struggles with it all the time, like some seasons the kids are on and sometimes they’re not. So from the start we’re just gonna try and keep it as private as possible.”

I….don’t know about that. I mean it’s great in theory, but this baby is half Kim Kardashian and half Kanye West, with a little sprinkling of Kris Jenner. It is gonna FIND its way onto a screen somehow. Whether it’s photo-bombing Kendall and Kylie‘s Vogueshoots, giving baby-talk interviews about Khloe‘s marriage to LamarOdom, or ignoring Rob Kardashian entirely like the rest of us, this baby will worm its way into the media. Mark my words.