Fuck You, Humble Braggers.

Ah, the humble brag. One of the most annoying things on Facebook and all social media come to think of it. Nothing gets my back up more than someone who is unable to own their apparent majesty and just fucking BRAG.

One of the things I miss most about the Facebook mums groups I’ve been kicked out of is the plethora of humble brags. Especially where cakes are concerned.

You know the ones, they look like this.

There are also some about food, which I have recreated here.

Then there are the ones about homework projects or school events.

Or perhaps you’ve seen someone who fancies themselves as a bit of a Geppetto?

If I managed to make anything resembling any of the above I would be paying for a fucking billboard on the busiest road in the country so everyone would know how bloody amazing I was. Why the humble brag? So we don’t hate you for being artistically special?

How about those who are less talented. Should we feel embarrassed about posting our “efforts” on Facebook and fishing for a few compliments? Instead of perfectly presented deserts, why don’t you share the burnt pile of shit you made for dinner?

Or the time you tried to make a Disney cake?

Or maybe your attempt at a home-made toy for your kids? That didn’t exactly go to plan.

Or when you put your best foot forward for the Easter Parade?

The next time you’ve made something for dinner that looks like it should have a Michelin star, or crafted up something for your kids that ought to win an award, think twice about your status update. Own the magnificence of your creation, don’t do a humble brag.