And let me tell you, Hollywood is going after the full package with the remake.When the film you're remaking is 19 years old and most of it's cast crew and stars are alive(if you call being Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston alive. I don't), you really need to pull of some creativeness. Casting, marketing, home-version director's commentary gushing about how great and iconic the original movie was: It's all being preplanned as we speak.

First off they are casting out of the best of young Hollywood. Sam Worthington is being considered for Kevin Costner's old role, as his trademark low energy, "working on a weekend" delivery will be required for the lead.

What i'm yr Budgrd.

As for Whitney Houston's character, Fergie is the top choice, with many execs seeing her role in Poseidon as key to that remake's success. One exec told me after seeing her there he knew she was someone you want to send hitmen after. Plus, her womb is already preparing a remake of the movie's iconic song. Through the grapevine I heard it would "severely abuse autotune" and "include a painful rap by Pitbull."

She's laughing because you'll never see her totally average breasts.

And speaking of dogs, the script smells ass is fiercely loyal to the original. It is of course, updated for modern audiences. It is still the story of a Bodyguard and a Singer who fall in love. But this time the killer is a furious internet pirate who is angered at the latest copy protection engineered by Fergie, and decides to kill her. He does this by employing a street gang dressing them as old timey buccaneers to try and do the deed.

Kids like Pirates. Fact.

But Fergie's character is way better than Houston's because she's ultra mega hyper independent and resilient. There's a scene in there where they put a bomb under her chair, Valkyrie style, but she totally survives and says her vagina absorbed most of the blast because she is woman! Then she kicked a dude in the nether regions.

Worthington, though is on a whole 'nother level. He's a bodyguard who has to bodyguard to protect her daughter from his job, but he doesn't know she's already joined the murder pirates. In the film's climax, that takes place in a burnin, sinking pirate ship in Las Vegas, he's torn to choose between the woman he loves and the daughter he loves.

If this sounds like ramblings from a guy who never saw the whole movie, that's because it is you're jaded. If you can't trust Hollywood to remake succesfully a movie who's biggest claim to fame is a song that was attached to it, then I don't know what to say except watch out for the Quest for Camelot remake!

And so L.I.E.S. comes to a close for now. And remember, If you can't trust some guy with access to the internet ,who CAN you trust? Me that's who.

And let me tell you, Hollywood is going after the full package with the remake.When the film you're remaking is 19 years old and most of it's cast crew and stars are alive(if you call being Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston alive. I don't), you really need to pull of some creativeness. Casting, marketing, home-version director's commentary gushing about how great and iconic the original movie was: It's all being preplanned as we speak.

First off they are casting out of the best of young Hollywood. Sam Worthington is being considered for Kevin Costner's old role, as his trademark low energy, "working on a weekend" delivery will be required for the lead.

Heeey, Lara Croft came of all blocky? Sorry to misrepresent her original PS1 image...

I wanted to do a parody of the evolution of man chart, but with game characters, until I hit a roadblock. I don't know who this generations breakaway character is.Where I put the question mark above, I meant it. So, you guys tell me...

Heeey, Lara Croft came of all blocky? Sorry to misrepresent her original PS1 image...

I wanted to do a parody of the evolution of man chart, but with game characters, until I hit a roadblock. I don't know who this generations breakaway character is.
Where I put the question mark above, I meant it. So, you guys tell me...

I found this written in ketchup in my roof this morning. It's from my conspiracy minded pen pal, Truancy Inspector.

I did not take it well, that you posted my letter to you. Not because I didn't meant for it to be publicized. I will chew anyone's ear off, except if the meat is sheeple.

No, I took offense to the font used. It doesn't have the heart magazine cut out letters do. We need to save the print magazine industry. From Satan.

I need to be dramatic. People don't pay attention to what is really going on. Political upheaval in the middle east? Oil running out? A sports awards show in Cartoon Network? All distractions from the encroaching Ragnarok that will come in the form of Ghostbusters 3.

There is a perfectly reasonable explanation, and like all reasonable explanations, it involves time travel.It seems someone from a future where Ghostbusters 3 didn't happen traveled back to our time to ensure it did happen. The timeline was altered. The movie will happen. Thus creating a new timeline where Ghostbusters 3 exists and it's utter awefullness ignite riots that destroy civilization in most of the world. Small pockets of intelligence survive, and manage (with the help of an older version of our time traveler) to create a time machine so that the first time traveler can be stopped.

We are witnessing that battle, and the very fate of humanity hangs in the balance! Every time the movie is off, it's because a time traveler snuck into Bill Murray's house and stole the script, putting in it's place the script for Yogi Bear. Every time it's on, it's because another time traveler put the script back in Murray's coffee table

As for Kutcher, he's an agent for the movie-stopping secret agent. His whole career has been a setup or it.How else are you gonna explain a filmography this bad?

I found this written in ketchup in my roof this morning. It's from my conspiracy minded pen pal, Truancy Inspector.

I did not take it well, that you posted my letter to you. Not because I didn't meant for it to be publicized. I will chew anyone's ear off, except if the meat is sheeple.

No, I took offense to the font used. It doesn't have the heart magazine cut out letters do. We need to save the print magazine industry. From Satan.

I need to be dramatic. People don't pay attention to what is really going on. Political upheaval in the middle east? Oil running out? A sports awards show in Cartoon Network? All distractions from the encroaching Ragnarok that will come in the form of Ghostbusters 3.