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Friday, July 1, 2011

Testing Shakespeare

Forget the economy. Forget the, what is it now, 4 wars? Or 5 wars? Forget about the high level of unemployment. Forget the high level of taxes.

Some people want to know about the things that are really important. Like if William Shakespeare was a stoner.

There have been articles at Time, Fox News, and other places, about this. And they want to dig up the Bard of Avon to find out.

But really, all you have to do is look at his body of work, compared to the work others, and determine if this is a fool's errand.

Compare this passage:

To be, or not to be, that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles And by opposing end them. To die—to sleep, No more.

To this passage:

Dave's not here.

Okay, let's compare Shakespeare's work to something more recent than Cheech and Chong. Like this:

We are such stuff As dreams are made on; and our little life Is rounded with a sleep.

To this

Hope and Change!

Which of these were more likely to have been written ... or repeated ... by a stoner?

There's more.

Which is more likely to have been written by a stoner? This:

Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, do we not revenge?