Narrator:
In the upper class city of Dover lives a family that has been used
to living in the lap of luxury for years. They descend from a long
line of royalty, but like Queen Elizabeth II, they only have the
power to veto laws and not rule. That in itself is enough power in
the mystical land of Serenity Falls. With such a name, you would
presume that all is calm here, but such is not the case.

Backyard
view of the DuJour's Mansion. Slowly pan in to the inside of the
mansion where we can see the King and Queen are arguing about the
choice of man that Madison has fallen in love with. She is opposed
to their ruling in arranged marriage to a conceited, egotistical brat
named Prince Bryant Denise.

Leon:
(nearly pleading) But, Madison ! You know that Joel is nothing more
than a peon !

Madeline:
Not only that, but also…He is a rocker ! Can you imagine
the scandal it would cause in the family if you married him ?

Madison:
(defiantly, hands on her hips) I don't care ! I love Joel
and he loves me for being myself ! Bryant doesn't love me; he just
wants your money ! In fact, the only reasons the Denise family
befriended us was for greed. They don't even like you.
And, I have a feeling they would kill us all after the wedding if
indeed we even lived to see that day occur !

Madeline:
Your lunch is in the refrigerator and Hans has decided to take you
to school today instead of James. James has the day off playing
golf.

Madison:
I don't mind. You know I am not picky about that sort of thing.
Besides, even Butlers need breaks.

(They
all laugh)

Leon
and Madeline say their farewells to Madison, she gets her lunch and
Hans takes her to school. By and by, she waits to put her plan into
action of hearing her boyfriend's garage band "Faded Glory"
playing on the other side of Dover known as Rocky Heights.

Narrator:
Meanwhile, Joel's school is letting out for the day and Hudson,
his best friend is following him home to practice a new song that
Maurice wrote. Unbeknownst to any of them, there is a conniving
witch named Jezzebelle who has been in love with Joel since his early
years before he became a rocker.

Jezzebelle:
(Watching the band members talking amongst each other) All I ask is
that you notice me, Mr. Zeroni… But noooo. You had to have
your sights set on some prep-school mascot ! That is about to change.
I'm going to make your life a living hell ! (utters a curse and
then fires it at him but hits Hudson) Oh, BLAST !

(Disappears)

Hudson:
(shakes head left and right, staggers slightly)

Patrick:
Are you all right, buddy ?

Hudson:
Yes. For a moment, I was a little disoriented as if all the blood
was rushing to my head.

Eddy:
Thank heavens. (pauses) So, what are you going to do after practice
?

Hudson:
Take Jennifer out to Chez Jean-Luke for her birthday.

Maurice:
(nudges him playfully) Oooo, you sly dog you !

Hudson:
(wriggles eyebrows) Don't I know it !

(All
of them laugh and head to Joel's garage to practice…)

Scene
2—Admiring Fans: Madison Breaks Away to See Joel

Joel's
garage…Faded Glory is singing one of Maurice's latest songs,
"Faded Glory". There are some "fans" that have shown up and
they are cheering wildly. Although there are more women than men
here at this "concert", Madison is not worried, for she knows
that Joel only has eyes for him.

While
this song is played, have Joel and the guys just enjoy themselves,
even warm up to the crowd and get them to dance too…

Faded
Glory Theme

Verse
1

You
know exactly who we are

When
you hear the sound of my guitar

Excitement
is in the air

We're
rebels without a care

Chorus

We're
Faded Glory

That's
who we are

Faded
Glory—new shining stars

We
love our country

We
especially love our fans

But
most of all we love our land

Verse
2

Stand
back, 'cuz there is a party goin' on

We
know how to throw down

It
may be a classic sound

But
we'll get your feet on the ground !

Chorus

3x's
until fade…

After
the song is finished, they sign autographs and Madison tears Joel
away from the crowd to a lake where they can be alone…But they are
being watched in the background by the sly Jezzebelle !

Joel:
(hugs her) I missed you, my love !

Madison:
(hugs in response) I did too. I can't stand being around
that arrogant Prince Bryant.

(they
kiss)

Madison:
(watch beeping) Darn !

Joel:
What is it, crumpet ?

Madison:
The schedule. I have to comply with it. We have a banquet tonight,
and I really don't want to be any part of it.

Joel:
Let me guess. It's because of your "suitor" isn't it ?

Madison:
You guessed correctly, my dear. (pats his hand gently) And what's
worse is, only rich people are invited so it's going to be a real
snoozer. Even the Lady Greymalkin is coming. And you know what they
say about her !

Joel:
Boy, do I ever. She's over 30 and bitter with the world because
men don't have the patience to put up with her terrible bouts of
anger, rage and destruction.

Madison:
(sighs) I really must go now, my Angel. (kisses him gently) You
will be in my heart. Somehow, I will find a way for the two of us to
be together. After all, we've been in love ever since I saw you at
the Rocky Heights County Fair at such a tender age…

Joel:
And I felt the same way… Fate will lead us back into each other's
arms !

(rocks
the boat too much and they both tip it over in the water)

(Joel
and Madison swim to shore and she runs off stage to call a
taxi to pick her up on the other end of Rocky Heights.)

Scene
3—Guess Who's Spoiling Dinner ?

Narrator:
It would seem our lackluster plot is thickening. Will love save the
day or will cruel fate have its way with our hero and heroine ? Oh !
(deadpan) I can't stand the suspense… It's just
absolutely murder…Oh, shoot.

Slow
tracking shot of the kitchen and Jezzebelle sprinkling some "pepper"
(with a skull and crossbones on the label) into all of the food. She
is laughing maniacally and singing a catchy ditty to the tune of
"Mammy's Little Baby Loves Shorting Bread"…

Jezzebell:
(insanely) Jezzie's gonna feed ya poisoning, poisoning

Jezzie's
gonna feed ya poisoning in the stew

Jezzie's
gonna feed ya poisoning, poisoning

You'll
be checking out when you are through !

(She
walks out of the kitchen and the guests are arriving…)

James:
Are all preparations underway, madam ?

Jezzebelle:
(with a devilish smirk on her face) Oh, I can assure you that
they are, my good man.

James:
Splendid !

Hans:
(claps hands together) Wunderbar !

Edith:
All that remains now is serving the dinner. I am famished !

Jezzebelle:
(trying to stifle her mocking laughter)

Hans:
Madam, is something amusing ?

Jezzebelle:
Think nothing of it, Hans. I was just recalling a terribly
hilarious comedy at the theatre I saw last Saturday called Arsenic
and Old Lace.

(The
three of them nod and smile)

Edith:
You may join the others. We still have some preparations in the
kitchen to do.

Jezzebelle:
(nods, her smile is sardonic and twisted in irony) You go on then,
dear.

(walking
away to the great hall where the others are drinking champagne and
laughing and then she murmurs) It'll be the last meal you ever eat
!

Joel:
But, that's impossible. You and Jessica were like two peas
in a pod, like milk and cereal…cheese and crackers…

Hudson:
(flustered) I get the point ! (exasperated) What can I do to get
her off of my mind ?

Joel:
There's this swingin' club on the other edge of town where we
usually play. We're not booked there tonight, but I hear there is
this boss DJ will be mixing some dope tunes… But I can't go. I
have a…(clears throat) dinner to attend to.

Hudson:
Dude ! You didn't tell me about that !

Joel:
It um, sort of came unexpectedly popped up at the last moment.
(Stammers a little) But I am sure that if you call the other guys
they'll go along.

Hudson:
Ok, but it's not gonna be the same without you, dude.

Joel:
I know. I have some business to attend to. You go ahead and enjoy
yourself, ok ?

Hudson:
Deal. Take care, dude.

Joel:
Gotcha. Later ! (hangs up phone and is on his way, by car to
Serenity Falls)

Narrator:
(aside, not audible to actors but the audience) I've got a very bad
feeling about all of this. If this melodrama ends the way I think it
is going to end… Color me unemployed.

Scan
to Dining Room and all are eating peacefully. The Denise family is
discussing the matter of inheritance. The Prince seems rather bored
by this conversation, but makes it look like he has some interest for
the Duchess. Madison just rolls her eyes, and waits for her father
to call attention to why they are here to begin with.

Leon:
We come here to enjoy the marvelous dinner that our servants so
meticulously prepared. I also offer a toast to my lovely daughter,
to whom I owe my entire livelihood. Without her in our lives, we
would be just another well-to-do couple living in obscurity.

All:
(except Leon) Here, here !

(All
clink glasses together and say "Cheers !" They begin to dine,
but Madame Greymalkin isn't touching her food.)

Regis:
Aren't you going to eat anything, Jezzie ?

Linda:
He's quite right… You're never one to not lay a finger on your
dinner !

Alfred:
(sadly) That is a real shame, Madam. I can clearly tell that my
fellow servants have put their all into this meal.

Jezzebelle:
(aside) Not to mention a special seasoning agent that will
knock you dead !

(All
of them keel over. Just as they do, Joel sees them die from the
window and hears the Lady Greymalkin cackling before she disappears.)

Joel:
NOOOOO ! I can't live without my darling. I've had enough…
Goodbye cruel world ! (pulls out a 47 caliber pistol from his pants
pocket and shoots himself)

Meanwhile,
the party at the club on the other side of town in Rocky Heights,
all the guys are having a good time. Hudson thinks he meets the love
of his life, but "she" turns out to be male…

Hudson:
I've never seen a woman dance like you do.

Sienna:
That's because I'm not who you think I am.

All
Guys: Oh…My…LORD ! (mouths drop and they all step away)

Raymond:
Well, pickle my beets.

Sienna:
What's it to ya, you big lug ? (winks) You like what you see ?

Raymond:
(rather seductively) Oh, you know it.

Sienna:
I feel like dancing ! Dancing ! (dances with him and laughs
heartily)

(The
guys are still in shock)

Patrick:
You guys, I think I'm going to be bathing 4-5 times a day now.

Maurice:
You ain't whistlin' Dixie brother.

The
band Sprite is playing their techno song "Revolutionary" while
pyrotechnics blaze this way and that… Without further notice, the
stage catches fire and the whole building burns down before our very
eyes.

Narrator:
That's it. I quit ! You guys are sick, demented freaks !

Jezzebelle:
Where's my agent ?! I didn't even have any more good lines or
flattering close-ups !

Due
to lack of plot structure and all of the key players being KILLED OFF
at the end of just one episode, this melodrama will no longer be
featured on NBC. If you do not approve, do not write to us. We have
more important things to do with our time, like finding better
scripts than this piece of crud. We have no idea how this passed
threw our editing staff or our ciphers in general. Again, please
don't send complaints to us. We only end up shredding them. So,
go on about your dullard, droll lives and leave us alone. Thank you.

The
End

By:
Elizabeth Berndt

May 15,
2003

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.