Somewhere in my closet, there’s a Zack Weber t-shirt beside a jacket made out of a blanket and a stack of painting clothes, still covered in silver spray paint from those Stuco lock ins. And in front of that, there are sliding mirrors. And then there’s the reflection of a bed room and an open window showing this big world…

I go back home on Friday, which I’m excited for. Part of me just wants to go pick up my cat and snuggle. Another wants to go take a walk down by the river and visit my work to talk about scheduling some time over winter holidays. And another wants to cook a meal, start a fire, and turn on football in the living room. But, even more than those, there’s something I’m really, really, really ready for:

Harry-freaking-Potter.

AHHHH! It’s so close and yet so far away! The new Harry Potter film comes out this Friday, but I’m waiting until Monday to see it with some friends since it got sold out here in Kirksville. Never has a movie seemed so far away when it is really less than a week away. So if I just don’t exist online from Friday until Monday, it’s because I’m trying to avoid what people are saying about Harry Potter.

Yes, I’m a six year old, plugging her ears.

But it could be worse; I could be a six year old with massive amounts of homework and reading, but that was more the past two weeks. For this week, I only have to read a psychological text and write a ten page paper. And while this may sound terrifying to some people, the task itself is very easy. Now, I just have to make myself sit still for long enough to read the book and take notes. And from there? It’s easy.

There really haven’t been that many developments in my life this month. It’s been time with friends and ink wash paintings and watching more and more brown leaves gather together outside of my windows. If I had a camera, I’d show you pictures, but as it stands, I’m not getting a new camera until this holiday (a Nikon CoolPix, probably). If you have any camera recommendations, feel free to leave me a comment. Until next time, see you!

“Wouldn’t it be okay
if we took a little drink and we start to fly away?
All I really want is you and me here,
you and I.”

If you have not yet seen A Very Potter Sequel (the sequel to last year’s A Very Potter Musical), I recommend getting onto your fat ass and watching it via Youtube. Click here for the link. I’ve been sitting around for the last few days, deciding why I’m strangely attracted to Lupin (aside from the very handsome Darren Criss).

Anyway, I’ve been musing around lately about how I’m going to be setting up my dorm this upcoming semester. And when I say musing, I mean worrying and trying to figure things out. The main point is that I need to find a place to fit my desk where it will get natural sunlight from the window but not disturb my room mate when I turn on the desk lamp early in the morning (because our sleeping schedules are quite a bit off sync). I was worried that I’d also need to position my desk in an area so that the shelving on top of it could serve as a night stand to my lofted bed, but I’ll try to get a clamp on shelf for that. It’s dumb that I’ve lost sleep over deciding where to place my desk, but welcome to my life of being an interior design nerd. I sit around looking at house tours on Apartment Therapy while sipping down hot tea with Cat. If you are interested in the neatest ever decor or vintage furniture or anything about making a house unique and interesting, check-ch-check-check check-ch-check it out.

I’ve been reorganising my room a lot lately. Or perhaps it’s just cleaning. A very deep cleaning that it has been neglecting for years. The only other thing on my list to still clean out would be the top of my closet, which has not felt a human hand since sixth grade, when I dumped the entire contents of my floor onto the shelves in a matter of three minutes so that I could go over to a friend’s. Ever since, it’s just sat there, and I’ve turned a blind eye. But, since I’ve cleaned so much else over the past year, why the hell not tackle that one of these days? The storage space is unbelievable, and I’m ashamed that I’ve been wasting it all of these years.

I’ve also been giving away a lot of things. Hefty bag after hefty bag after hefty bag. My mum always has been a pack rat, and she passed that onto me at an early age. But, as I grow, I’m beginning to leave that–much to her chagrin. She’s definitely not delighted when I give away all of my old stuffed animals or clothes from elementary school or old school supplies. But I always tell her, ‘what am I to do with it?’ If it hasn’t been used in six years, that means that I never will use it later on. If it’s a stuffed animal that has eight years of dust on it, do you really expect me to want to play with it five years down the road? She has trouble understanding that I am an adult who has no need for all of the crap that I have managed to collect over the years. After a while, you have to let a lot go because it’s flooding your life and slowly drowning you.

For me, the release is all I ask for. Becoming emotionally attached to objects is a bad habit that I’m strangling out of me. I don’t want to be dependent on things that I do not need or want or care for. If they can be donated to someone who will actually use them, then everyone is better for it.

But that’s an example of only one of the many differences that my mum and I have. There are many others, mostly in personality. She is very high strung, irrational. And I used to be that way completely, but I’ve also been growing away from it over the past few years as I figure out just who I am, and I’m not sure if she’s willing to accept that yet. She may never be ready to accept that I am not the same person as her and a separate entity. But I’m more than willing to break away.

…but not too much in the sun. Just enough for Zooey Deschannel to be proud of me and sing along, being adorable and such.

Tomorrow morning, I take out on a flight to Florida to visit my dad for nearly two weeks. We’ll probably head the beach (Atlantic side, thank goodness), visit some family down there, and meander around the state. We were thinking of the going to the new Harry Potter park in Universal Studios, but between the 100+ dollar ticket price and the massive lines and waiting times from it being just opened a week, I’m thinking NO. I’ve spent my fair share gushing over what house I’d be at Hogwarts (Slytherin), wearing my Hogwarts messenger bag, reading the books, and dressing up as Hermione Granger, but I just can’t see myself forking all of that time and money over for a mediocre time. I told one of my sisters today that I might as well just plan something out with friend for after university, when the lines are shorter and we can plan a multiple day trip down there and stay at a resort. Personally, that would be much more enjoyable.

But I shall be off and about until the middle of July, so don’t be expecting me too much on Facebook or the like.

On a completely separate note, I gave my first official tour at work yesterday, and it went really well. I felt like the seven year old artist afterwards saying, “I did such a good job! Look at what I did!” Yeah, I was that kid in my head and for the first five minutes after I got back from the tour. Great day, great group, great conversations about politics and cooking, and great times spent reading National Geographic and sipping lemonade. Unpaid labour has its upsides.

…Midway through April, actually, and yet I have not posted more than, what, one thing? Ridiculous. Yeah, yeah. Ridiculous; I’ll fill you in.

Humans v Zombies continued on last week, and I spent an afternoon reading in the quad, watching a mission take place. A gaggle of humans stalked by and then a horde of zombies, with me on a blanket sitting in between. For more than an hour, I watched the ensuing battle, which was highly entertaining. I’d show you the photos that I took, but my internet access at university is so poor that it will have to wait until I am back at home in three weeks.

(Note, I ended up getting a different picture to work:)

I’ve been spending the past weeks more and more outdoors reading or spending time with friends. We’ve gone out on blankets to hang out, do homework, and even have a picnic. It’s wonderful to not have to wear a coat and even better to wear only a t-shirt, which the weather has permitted over the past two weeks. I’ve been able to be more active with this weather, too, which is nice since I now have a new goal for getting in shape. I’m usually all about health and just making sure that my body is healthy, but now I want to shape it up so that I can join belly dancing next semester. Granted, I could join as I am now, but I think I’d be more comfortable and have an easier time if I worked on getting a trimmer middle over the summer. So I’m going to try swimming every morning, get back into running a few miles each day, and I’ll now try some preliminary dancing to tone up. Belly dancing, here I come!

It seems funny to me that these pictures were only taken around a week ago, yet the entire campus has blossomed since then. It’s absolutely gorgeous.

Three weeks until summer, though… What an odd realisation. Over my extended break, I plan to go to Florida to visit my dad, maybe get a volunteer job on Main Street (if they should ever need the extra help; they can call me at a moment’s notice, I think), sew at least two dresses and a skirt, and paint at least four paintings. I promised my friend Heather that I would enter a painting into the Missouri Hall Art Gallery next year, so if I make that over the summer, it will free my time up over the semester to work on it. I’m thinking of painting a scene from the quad or somewhere on Truman’s campus, and it will be big. Bigger than any other painting that I’ve yet done (I’m thinking one of those canvases that’s nearly three feet tall). I’m also painting pictures for both my current room mate Jess for her room next year and my friend Abby for her room next year. It shouldn’t be so odd that I’m looking forward to making these paintings so much, but I am. That’s why I became an art minor, I guess.

Speaking of art, I finalised my schedule for next semester, and it’s a beast. I have statistics, intermediate German, British literature from Romantic to Modern, a six hour long drawing 1 course, and a 400-level Intro to Clinical Psychology class. The last one is rather intimidating. It isn’t just a difficult class but a class meant for older psych majors, so I may be kicking myself next semester. But, maybe it will teach me good work ethic, and it will put me ahead. I just wish that I could have gotten into social psychology like I had originally planned for, but upon entering in the code during registration, I accidentally put in the code for psychopharmacology, which in no way interests me or goes toward what I will be doing with a psychology degree. By the time I could try and fix my mistake, it was too late–the class was full. So, I ended up finding this 400-level gem that fit into my schedule. We’ll see how it turns out.

Meanwhile, what an awesome group of friends I have: they helped me create a Quidditch team for my university’s Quidditch match last week. It was a great time with six teams vying for the top spot. Now, we aren’t the sportiest bunch, so we definitely had more losses than wins, but it was incredibly fun. The hosts of the events even gave out legit Harry Potter snacks (fudge flies, chocolate frogs, Berty Bots beans, pumpkin juice, butter beer, et cetera). What an awesome time. Here are some pictures that my internet finally allowed me to upload:

Our team name was Albus and the Dumbledores, and we even made legit tie-dye shirts for the event.

We played with beach balls, a volley ball, and these tall hoops. It was actually quite challenging. The snitch ended up being a track runner with a sock hanging out of his shorts that you had to pull out. I was seeker, and it was definitely hard work; I was feeling muscles the next day that I didn’t even know I had. Ouch!

And, of course, we ran with brooms in between our legs, which was more fun than challenging. Awkwardness, after all, can be one of the best things ever to laugh at.

That’s about it for now. Hopefully this filled you in a little about what has been going on in my life. Thank God for spring and summer holidays! Hope you’re all doing well.

Note: This is a long one and more of a look inward than that of a page ripped from a diary. No need to read unless you want a lot of background on me and some philosophy.

Lately, I’ve wondered about how much consistency there is in my life. I’m naturally a creature of habit, stuck in her old ways: I sit in the same seat each day for my classes even though I’m allowed to sit where ever I wish (and I always sit in the middle front for each class, too), I awake the same way each morning, listen to the same music repeatedly, and I refuse to change around the furniture in my room (I’ve had the same set up in my bedroom since I was six). Yet, I’m also changing quite a bit and in ways that I didn’t recently realise.