Heightened state

Ecstasy? I don’t really think so. Heightened state of emotion? More likely. The dominant emotion being one of despair and helplessness.

So. I actually broke down just now. Addressing my Shadow aspects is kind of creepy. The emotions really just crept up from nowhere and I was engulfed and started crying. I guess it is a form of transmutation of the negative energy into tears and hopefully releases them to the atmosphere as useful water (and maybe some salts too).

Today’s card is from Angels of Atlantis, by Stewart Pearce. I got this deck about a year ago, when I was getting recurring dreams about Atlantis. Up till now, I still have no idea how all these work – past lives in Atlantis, life as a starseed, normal human past lives, life as a mermaid (?!) – they are mostly still heresies to me, I guess. Maybe until the day I figure out what they mean, and the roles they play in my life, or the role I play in their lives. This is yet another deck I cannot understand, although I can feel the angelic vibrations as I hold them in my hands. Well, to be honest, I don’t quite click with his way of writing, but in terms of information (Angelish and all), it has been pretty useful.

Archangel Zaphkiel, otherwise known as the Sacred Lover, is teaching us about understanding and compassion. Reprise~ this “understanding and compassion” theme has been popping up throughout the day, in more ways than one, and a good reminder to pick up my ArchAngeloi from the other end of Singapore.

Zaphkiel wishes you to know that divine ecstasy may come in any moment, as a deep feeling of passion for your spiritual growth, or as an aspect of your love, whereby your whole being is transfixed with the choice you have made to join the mystical pathway. The two gatekeepers on this path are awe and joy, both of which are closely aligned to ecstasy. As you experience this heightened state, be aware of the whispers of the Angels.

Sigh. Yes. The whispers went on through the night, and got me so paranoid. I spent the day wondering what is going on. So my homework this weekend is to examine Distrust. I have much homework tonight, I can feel them in my ankles already. Ouch.

Alright, the happier things: two gatekeepers of awe and joy. The awe is the feather you see on the top of the card. It floated down when I was taking a photo of it. Steward Pearce see angels in the form of orbs (I do sometimes, but only through the eyes of my camera), but I guess I am someone who needs some physical manifestation in order to believe, and they always deliver. It’s a big one today! When Oliver was a baby, I used to squint and ask him, “what are you doing, Oliver? Why are there so many feathers in my room?!” Hmm. Heh. Now I am wondering whether my mom will one day ask that same question, “why are there so many feathers in your room?!” Shrugs. Whereas, the joy is the huge heave of relief that I am not in that zone of my previous blog post. PHEW. It did bring the whole topic of compassion into my sphere though.

Now I have put in the addendum of “with ease and grace” into my #lifehack prayer.