Christmas 2011………

How do you start a blog? I`m really not sure, but somewhere would be good.

As i write this i`m in my bedroom, in what should be tidy but looks more like i`m about to move home; Boxes and bags fill the floor ready for Christmas, one for presents that wait for me to finally find the cellotape, a box of food that can`t be placed in the food cupboard or the locust teen will leave nothing for the actual days and wrapping paper lays in hope where I should be able to access my clothes drawers!

Beside me my loyal 18yr old Terrier, he is having his last Christmas with a doggy advent calendar and stocking with his furry Sister, as after christmas he shall be going to `Deavon` as one of the visiting teens calls it, as he has testicular and anal cancer. Sad, but I know that i gave him a good four final years as I do many rescue animals and that makes it easier to part for me.

This is my third Christmas alone, a mid 40s woman, and though devastated for the first two, now after a dreadfully hard year, I find myself with more optimism for a fresh year as I feel I have jumped many hoops this one.

As a wheelchair user, life can be more challenging, but I also see it as a great way to watch people and see human nature from the advantage point of a child almost. Generally there`s a mixed approach from people when out, some just speak as though i`m no different from them; Some speak down and others speak to whomever i`m with, such as a trip to get new glasses with my best friend, who ended up walking away when the woman serving kept asking her what she was meant to be asking me!

I have though had a very average life, and been married twice, and had a child inbetween marriages. I`m don`t hold any medals for relationships,as always going for the bad boys has lead me to abuse and heartache and now in my 40s I am on a mission to meet Mr Decent but not boring!