Grounds Training Tutor Frank Newberry reports on how we
can all be tempted to blame others for our workplace woes. He
suggests the way forward is to try not to play 'the
victim'.

There is a line in the Taylor Swift song 'Look What You Made Me
Do' which captures perfectly the type of 'victim' thinking that can
afflict us all.

Blaming others is a natural reaction when we feel that we have
been wronged at work. Maybe we have been blamed for another's
mistake or, in some other way, judged unfairly. Why should we take
the blame when it's not our fault? Fair point.

In the case of Miss Swift, we have the not uncommon occurrence
of a person (Miss Swift) looking for someone to blame for what she
is now herself doing - as in 'Look what you made me do' - 'the role
you make me play - the fool'.

The whole song seems to be a series of complaints about other
people - who apparently caused her to feel that she was being
pushed into a role that she did not want - that role being? To play
the fool.

Blames many people

Miss Swift blames many people for causing her to sit down and
write her latest studio album 'Reputation' as a response to their
actions. The suggestion here being that she had other plans for the
album - which she had to change because other people were treating
her badly?

Now that 'Reputation' has become a best seller and has been
critically acclaimed, should Miss Swift give the bad people in her
life some creative credit for the album's success? Where next I
wonder when the BBC reviewer (this is just one example) said it was
'an album of perfectly formed, clinically produced, contemporary
pop songs'.

Slovenian Greenkeepers and Groundsmen

Closer to home now - well, Slovenia - where I was recently
invited to run a group working session on the theme 'Motivation -
the Key to Success?' I was advised that the members of the
Slovenian Greenkeepers Association (which also represents
groundsmen) were feeling low, were in a bad place and demotivated
because their employers were no longer investing money or paying
decent wages. I immediately thought of Miss Swift and 'Look What
You Made Me Do' which in the case of our Slovenian friends and
their employers was - 'You demotivated me, you brought me down, and
you have left me in a bad place'.

I explained (as I always do) at the outset of my session in
their beautiful country that I have, for many years, been paid
handsomely to go to conferences and workplaces - to meet people and
to motivate them. I have such an event - for gardeners in the
National Trust - in the pipeline right now.

Save their money and spend it on something
nice

I went on to explain that, when approached, I tell employers
that I cannot motivate anyone - that they should save their money
and spend it on something nice for their employees.

My confession discourages no one. My words always seem to have
the opposite effect on all interested parties. Witnessing my
heart-felt admission, employers are immediately convinced that I am
absolutely the right man for the job. When can you start Frank? How
long do you need? Can we do the entire workforce in one go? So yes,
I have worked with entire workforces in hotel ballrooms and, on one
occasion, a pub.

Usually, I start my session by telling my audience that I cannot
motivate anyone, but in Slovenia I changed it slightly. I took
three chairs (see photo) and explained that the chairs were 'empty'
because I had banned the people who would have used them from
attending the session.

What's the point in doing a good job around
here?

In Slovenia, I told them that chair number one was for 'that
person who demotivates you', chair number two was for 'that person
who depresses you' and chair number three was for 'that person who
makes you think 'what's the point in doing a good job around
here?'

I further explained that they (the audience members) were the
only people who could let the three absentees into the room and
into their lives. Why? Because the only person who demotivates me -
is me, and the only person who demotivates you - is you. The only
person who motivates me - is me and so on. I make the point that we
are all grown-ups and we all need to take care not to choose to
play 'the victim'.

Our personal motivation is our personal
choice

I then admonished them on behalf of their families, their
friends and their employers to never let any other person in the
world have the power to change their mood or to hurt their
feelings. We, unlike Miss Swift, should have no one to blame. No
one except ourselves to say, 'look what you made me do' to. Our
mood, our personal motivation is our personal choice - no one
else's.

I will allow one exception. I find it very hard to not give my
children and grandchildren power to hurt me. It goes with the job -
when you love someone you give them the power to hurt you.

Back in Slovenia, people seemed quite 'up for it' at this point,
so we quickly moved onto working in five groups to 1) set goals,
and 2) describe good ways to start achieving improvements in
their:

1. Communication between workers and supervisors

2. Educational programmes and standards

3. Attitudes and achievements

4. Career path expectations

5. Working conditions

Pages of positive ideas were produced

These five areas had been pre-selected by the Association's
board members. The board members were very impressed when literally
pages of positive ideas were produced within the hour of the
session. It must be said that no one allowed anyone to play the
victim during the group work.

As I write, I am looking forward to getting an email with the
full list of ideas.

Notwithstanding that bad things can happen to any one of us - I
wish you success in the choices you make, especially in avoiding
playing the victim - at work and in life.