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As entertainment critic Roger
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with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."

Keep all discussion of tonight's results, lip sync mishaps, sullen tweenagers, and judge fights on this thread until the West Coast massages their hand so it will release from the same gesture as the screen cap of MJ's kids from last night.

The TV listings say we're getting a rapper tonight, so expect the highlight of the evening to come when Astro rushes out and kneecaps the competition. After all, you're just not the real thing unless you're part of at least two major wars. Oh, and at some point, someone will be told to hurry up whatever they're doing. And this may be Astro. A good kneecapping isn't necessarily quick.

While you're waiting, enjoy this live-from-the-studio-audience piece. Apparently everything about this show is faked...

Something over sixteen million. (Timekeeper tries to claim that's the number of people who voted. Which would be weird because that's higher than the viewership.) So we've finally got a number -- and when we compare it to the typical Idol tally at this stage, especially with the increased number of ways to vote, it mega-svcks. No wonder they haven't been admitting anything until now -- and that's a policy they should have stuck with.

Timekeeper claims last night was unforgettable. But not for the reasons it actually was.

I'm looking at it through the lens of the article, though. All those audience cheers -- not only did they have to be magnified to reach a human volume which wasn't physically present, but half of them couldn't hear what they ultimately wound up applauding for. Forget Swaybots: these are Cheergears. Push the button and hear them gush! -- which is the only thing any of them will hear all night.

So B3 is Astro, Drew, and Marcus. Because there is no way Last Frau Bait Standing landed in the lower tier. No particular order reads as 'we're saving the top vote getter last.' I think this is Marcus as the auto-departure and then Drew probably trumps Astro just to keep Simon happy.

Weird pacing here. I know they only have a few results to get through, but declaring so many safe this early in the show? Any other host would have paced it out. How much filler do they have available tonight?

Very gracious exit by Astro: his PR coach has taught him well, if a little late. (I really don't want to see the Worsters' reaction right now, do I?) And Timekeeper had no idea how to deal with the spectacle that was hugs and good wishes and fond farewells all around. Some of those goodbyes were blocking his shot!

so who's the next Worster love? If she survives, I'd think it would have to be Drew... those ponies are just so charming!

Well, so much for keeping Simon happy: that was a 'screw you, boss' vote.

What a fiasco. Drew, how are you feeling? I'm crying my eyes out, thanks, go away. Simon, how are you feeling? @#$% you, mannikin. And Timekeeper throws up his hands and walks away because the cued questions are all he's got. Great moments in reality show hosting, brought to you by a man who just officially lost his job: there is no way he comes back next season after this live crash through the floor. And then he kept pushing it. Anything to say now, Simon? No, I'll tear up your contract in private.

Ye gawds. Cross off another 200,000 viewers, floaters grab a life vest, and get ready for next week to be the Worst Performance Show Ever!

...but there's been rumblings of dumping Timekeeper before this, and I'm pretty sure last night turned them into a full-fledged earthquake. As for the panel -- well, if this is exactly the way the UK format works, then Simon had to know the others could sabotage him at group will. Believing they'd be too afraid to was an act of ego.

(There's our Simon!)

So what happens next? Does his ratings-loving heart decide the drama is better in the long-term than a railroad vote plot would be? Or does his control-needing brain dictate that no step take place which isn't in lock? Stay tuned... but I think that at the very least, the show loses Nicole.

I'm not sure how this show survives another season without firing Timekeeper. I don't seem to mind Nicole as much as others - maybe because her influence is diluted by 3 other judges. But Steve Jones makes this show unwatchable for me.

Talk about sticking with what got them there -- everybody into the Boardroom! It's time for a double-firing! The good news is that Drew bored me so much, the cotton wool partially insulated me from Marcus. But there was enough left to truly understand what he was saying: neither one of them should advance to next week. It's the drama of a triple-elimination: isn't that good for a boost of one viewer? Fight for that ratings fraction!

Apparently selected members of Drew's fanbase have been registering their dissenting opinions to Paula and Nicole via Twitter and Facebook. Nothing major, really. Just a few death threats here and there. Because surely Drew would approve of that, right? And no one could ever possibly track those things down.

Number of said threats originating from Simon's account: currently unknown.

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