A life lived in the feminine. Hear my tales.

No, I did nothing all day. I’m just a mother

It’s the year 2013, yet somehow, women’s lib forgot to notify the rest of the world that being a mother is a job.

Do I work outside of the home? Why yes indeedy, I do. Do I make a paycheck week to week? Yes. Is it a large paycheck? No. For now. No Jewish girl wants to live on a small paycheck forever, I assure you that. I enjoy what I do, and like working, but what about my most important job.

The one job that I cannot list on my resume.

I mean my boss, my 32 inch daughter, never hands me over a paycheck, so maybe it isn’t really–gasp–work.

Instead, I get paid in the following denominations:

temper tantrums

declarations of “No, Mommy. I sit by self. You sit there Mommy.”

Letters, shapes, colors, and number recognition.

The triumphant sound of her counting in French.

Saying her letter sounds while playing with magnetic letters.

Tears.

Hugs

Countless re-runs of “You’re a good sport Charlie Brown.”

demands

tossed food

dirty diapers

and…dirty potties.

It won’t pay the mortgage, but how much does a healthy, well-adjusted child equal?

I wish men, and strangers would value child-rearing the way I do. I wish I didn’t have to hear how “easy” it is all day long.

Of course, it’s fun sometimes, and even easy. However, no one seems to remember the sleepless nights. My sore boobs. The shouts for toys in the middle of the store. The trips to the pediatrician. The tears. The temper tantrums because apparently asking your child to wear a sweater is akin to murdering Snoopy.

I don’t have a big paycheck. I only work part-time. I write, I teach, and generally, make people laugh.

What a friggin shock it is to be in my thirties and discover that even in the millennium, people do not value what they feel is woman’s work. Do you think it is fun to do laundry or food shopping while chasing after a pint-sized Castro? It certainly doesn’t give me an orgasm, but I would just love for the people telling me how easy it is, to do what I do, as well as I do.

If my child goes to bed happy tonight, I have done my job.

If my child goes to bed cranky tonight, guess what? I still have done my job. I probably didn’t give in to one of her crazy notions. I stood my ground and taught her that sometimes, you don’t get what you want, but you will survive.

For all you people thinking that your day job is somehow more work or more important than raising my child–or any child for that matter, I ask you this?

Can you be happy all day long, and emotionally balanced, even if you are having the shittiest day and the world is about to end?

Can you teach a child to read, write, sing, play, and laugh?

Can you nurse a baby while taking a shit, and trying to brush your teeth?

Can you do the laundry while potty training a child, and putting on your makeup for your night job?

if the answer is yes, then you are potentially qualified to do my job.

If the answer is no, then I offer you this:

Your job is way easier than mine pal. I will gladly trade you my vagina for your penis and get to be you.

Or maybe I wouldn’t because then I wouldn’t get to do nothing all day, while masturbating and eating bon-bons, and have so much fun raising the best, sweetest, and bossiest two year-old ever.

When I was still in the world of paid employment, I thought I had a tough boss. She was nothin’ compared to the two pint-sized bosses that I have now! They regularly make unrealistic demands, insist that I work through the night, and offer zero holiday time.

I want to agree. And I almost do 100% Except when it sounds as if you name parenting as the hardest job ever. I would say (credentials: single mother of a teenager, helped raise my younger siblings, and full time military careerist) that it is ONE of the hardest, mostly because for at least 18 years you have that person’s life in your hands. But there are other jobs where you have multiple human lives in your hands. A surgeon, a pilot, a service member. Now 2 of those, yes, they are paid handsomely and can take a day off. Service members though are pretty much 24/7. And there were plenty days for me where I would rather be with my son than in another war drenched country because raising him was easier.

So I’m not knocking raising children – how could I, it’s my job too. But remember not to put down those other jobs that have the same importance in the long run.

I’m not knocking any job at all. There are plenty of hard jobs out there. My point is child-rearing is not accepted by many in society, particularly men, as work or something to be valued. That’s my core message. Things associated with domestic life tend to be “poo-pooed.” The jobs you listed are certainly of value!!

Agreed. I’ve had a time or two in my workplace where I’m treated sarcastically to “Oh yeah, I forgot, YOUR job is a little harder because you’re a single mom.” There shouldn’t be any sarcasm in that statement. Whether you are a stay at home mom, or a working outside the home mom, it’s a rough job. I’ve also been treated by stay at home mothers like I don’t care enough about raising my child because I don’t stay at home. And THAT is a load of baloney also.