Why Do We Love Painful Books?

We bookworms are VERY fond of painful books. This is a fact. Show me a bookworm and I nearly guarantee one of their all-time favourite books has reduced them to screeching messes. Which seems rather bizarre doesn’t it? Isn’t this our hobby for relaxation? Isn’t reading a pleasant thing we do?

Yet most of our conversations go like this:

Me: This book just KILLED MY FEELS.
Me: I am literally a mess of ANGST right now ajfdlksadjkl.
Me: My heart is FRACTURED.
Me: Here you need to read this.

WHYYYYY DO WE LIKE THE PAIN SO MUCH!??!

Okay, but there are reasons.

And I, as your resident helpful and most favourite book blogger of them all, have written down these reasons so you can a) understand why we all WANT these horribly painful books so much, (more importantly) you can b) agree with my analysation.

1. BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE TO FEEL THINGS.

Which really should make no sense because…feelings? UGH. (Says the Vulcan.) Ahem. BUT OKAY. Most people do like to feel things. Good or bad — feelings are what makes us alive and interested in the world.We like to feel.

And can we take a second to point out that A COUPLE OF DEAD TREES GLUED TOGETHER WITH BLACK AND WHITE SCRIBBLES ON THEM ARE GIVING US FEELINGS???? Because that’s amazing. And really weird, when put that way…

2. BECAUSE IT SHOWS WE CARE ABOUT THE BOOK.

When your heart starts bleeding because you are ridiculously emotionally engaged in a fictional story…you know you care. OH GRAPE. YOU SURE DO CARE. And the best way to show you care is to ache and worry and fret over something.

3. BECAUSE PAIN IS THE #1 WAY TO KEEP THE ATTENTION OF PUNY BRAINED BOOKWORMS.

Readers are rather suckers, aren’t they? Show them a happy picnic and they’ll smile politely and go, “Yes, that’s nice” and then probably wander off to go make a sandwich. Show them a picnic where the earth suddenly erupts with an ancient dragon nest and they’re all hungry for human flesh and readers will go, “WAIT. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT” and probably even forget about their sandwich.

(I, though, wouldn’t forget about the sandwich. I can be emotionally engaged in exciting/dangerous books and STILL eat sandwiches. FYI. I’m just that talented.)

Danger and drama are what makes a story! People want to hear about the BAD. It appeals to us. It’s relatable. It’s exciting.

4. MAYBE YOU WERE DROPPED ON YOUR HEAD AS A BABY AND THAT EXPLAINS WHY YOU’RE SO STUPID AS TO LIKE SAD STORIES.

This is a highly probable fact. Check with your parents and see if this is the reason you like to sit up till 2am sobbing over a fictional character’s death and then proceeding to be a zombie in mourning the next day — BECAUSE THEY’RE DEAD AND NEVER COMING BACK AND WHAT IS THIS LIFE. (Cue gross sobbing.)

Because I mean REALLY. We’re all just stupid to like pain.

5. AUTHORS ARE CONTINUALLY HAVING PAYBACK AT OTHER AUTHORS WHO MADE THEM FICTIONALLY SUFFER. ERGO IT’S JUST A SAD CYCLE OF THE POWER OF REVENGE.

Once upon a time a small child read a book and HAD THEIR FEELS STOMPED UPON VICIOUSLY. So they grew up to be an author and, in pay back, wrote an even sadder and more painful book and FELT THE POWER OF REVENGE.

This will last as long as people are being stabbed by books.

6. IT REMINDS US THAT OUR LIVES REALLY DON’T SUCK THAT MUCH AFTER ALL.

I mean after you read about Katniss’ home-life and then what she went through in The Hunger Games (murder, mayhem, bad poisoned food, etc.), do you feel so bad about your own life? NOPE. And if that doesn’t convince you, just read Game of Thrones. Then you’ll be 100% happy with your house, your life, your family that isn’t stabbing you in the back.

Real life isn’t all peach pie and pickled pineapples. (I hope you paused to appreciate that alliteration.) Why would you want to read a story where EVERYTHING GOES RIGHT when, in real life, everything never goes right? Like sure, I dropped my toast, that sucks. BUT THEN IT GOES AND LANDS FACE DOWN AND THE JAM IS ON THE FLOOR AND NOW IT’S A SAD TOAST MURDER SCENE AND THE DAY IS RUINED.*

We want books to reflect REAL LIFE. It gives us a gleefully evil sense of pleasure to know that book characters are suffering with jammy catastrophes like we are.

* I’m sure we all feel this passionately about messing up our toast?

8. WHEN WE RISE ABOVE TRAGEDY, WE FEEL FREAKING AWESOME, DUUUUDES.

If we can pop back to my illustriously nice toast analogy of earlier…would you care if I just made my toast and ate it and life was fine? NO. But you would care if I had to battle 721 zombies to get more jam and then ate my re-made-toast while single-handedly saving hundreds of lives. Because it’s a) more awesome, and b) zoooooombies, and c) the toast tastes* SO MUCH BETTER when you’ve fought for it.

* This is actually an assumption. I have not fought zombies for the chance to eat my toast so I ACTUALLY DON’T KNOW IF I’D FEEL COOLER EATING IT. It’s on the need-to-experiment list.

9. PAINFUL BOOKS STAY WITH US LONGER.

Because of all the above reasons. We’re now a) emotionally invested, b) we care what happens, c) we ponder and relive the awfulness to wonder if it could’ve been better or different somehow, and d) we’re now just super depressed (THANKS A LOT BOOK) ergo we remember the book and the sad feelings it inspired.

I’m not even sure these are good??? But maybe they are??? Who doesn’t like weeping and gnashing of teeth now and then, apparently?

10. IT GIVES US A FRIGHTFULLY GOOD EXCUSE TO COMPLAIN ALL OVER THE INTERNET, COMPARE WOUNDS WITH OTHER BOOKWORMS, AND CONSUME CHOCOLATE.

Sure we can compare books that made us laugh…but wouldn’t you rather be able to run screeching to your friend saying “THIS BOOK HURT ME. WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT?” and then have them royally defend you by reading the book too so they can sob in your arms? #friendgoals

I mean, who has been emotionally bullied by a book? RAISE YOUR HANDS. It brings us together and makes us talk. We compare exactly how fractured our feels are. Friends are forged over the tragedy of fictional pain.

Then we do it all again and force each other to eat sad books and WE HAVE NO REGRETS AND I THINK THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ALL OF US, TO BE HONEST.

But the excuse to each chocolate is a real thing. No regrets there.

why do YOU like to read sad stories? are we all deluded grapes for wanting to read tragedy?? do you always drop your toast jam-side-down? TELL ME ALL YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS!

Comments

Toast is actually my favourite food… so I appreciate the analogy! It always lands jam side down, I think it’s something to do with surface area and air resistance. *ahem* Because sad stories can also be uplifting and that way you get to learn from other peoples mistakes and see through their eyes and learn about the world even if it’s a fantasy world. I think books also teach us as readers a bit about people’s resilence and capacity for strength and lovingness towards each other even when it’s all terrible. One of my favourite sad books is Chanda’s Secrets/Chanda’s Wars by Allan Stratton which is this amazing story of a girl who lives in subsaharan africa and has a mother with Aids and a best friend turning to prostitution and tow angry little siblings and dreams *sobs* It’s really good and really sad. Painful books are important as well, because they remind you on your bad days that things could always be worse. Also, a conversation I had with my mother after I forced nicely told her to read one of my books
Mum: but I didn’t like the death at the end. It felt like the author just wanted to hurt her readers after we’d come to understand the character more. It was like she was trying to end the book with a bang.
Me: welcome to the life of a bookworm fangirl, Mum.Shanti recently posted…Middle grade book recommendations

DUDE YOU’RE BEING LOGICAL TO MY TOAST RANT. And here I was going to say…”It’s because toast is secretly evil and out to ruin lives”.
(Just kidding.😂 You’re WONDERFUL.)
ahhhem.
And it’s true! EVERYTHING YOU SAY HERE = YES.

Also your poor mum having to be inducted into the tragic life that is fandom. Give her chocolate. IT’S THE ONLY WAY WE FANGIRLS SURVIVE.

I think it’s because they make us FEEL. A good happy book can make you feel (sometimes it’s nice for it to be all tied up with a bow) but a sad book will ALWAYS make you feel. This entire question is basically my relationship with Supernatural since a certain demon’s death was totally ignored by all major characters in season eight. It’s like, I HATE it for sweeping over my favourite character’s death, and watching it always seems to make me irrationally angry, but I will make it to the end. I WILL. Because feeling is good (or so I’m told 😉 ).Rain @ Ivyclad Ideas recently posted…‘E’ is for The Epistolary Form

DUDE. Also yes to That Certain Demon. STILL NOT OKAY. Ahem. But I guess those little Winchesters do have a lot of emotional damaging baggage when it comes to demons so they weren’t going to cry… Speaking of emotionally damaged = that would be me after watching that show.

I think the one that’s the most true for me (apart from the chocolate one, I will happily sacrifice myself to the hardships of emtional books if it means chocolate) is the fact that it makes it ‘real’. If a book has an effect on you, that’s kind of saying something. If someone has the storytelling ability to conjure something out of their brain that actually brings you to tears. then they made you care enough to be affected and invested and not many authors can do that, so it’s memorable when someone does. Though to be fair, all 10 of these are entirely true and it may have rekindled some emotions with some sad books. I’ll be off getting chocolate and tissues.

You’re definitely right! Painful books are harder to forget than books where everyone is happy and there is no conflict at all. Plus, all the traumatising things characters go through, it just makes us feel better. I love angsty books as well! But sometimes they get too angsty and then all the crying commences. 🙂

I wouldn’t say I enjoy tragedy overall, but I do like it when a book/movie/TV show gives me lots of feels because a) it shows quality – if it can make me sad, the characters must be really well-developed, the plot must be interesting, and the themes must resonate with me; and b) in all honesty I’m actually just a sadomasochist when it comes to fictional characters I like. Bonding with other fans over mutual pain is a bonus.Alexandria recently posted…Falling Kingdoms (Falling Kingdoms #1) by Morgan Rhodes

I totally know what you mean! It’s not like we take PLEASURE in the pain…it’s just like we need it for the book to be a relatable, well-told, realistic tale, right?! And life just ISN’T all perfect and we readers do like a book that is real. *nods*

This is so true! It’s like when a YA character’s parents die very dramatically and you sort of go, tsk and roll your eyes (but on the inside you’re like well, good). Because god forbid those parents stayed alive – then it’d be like EXCUSE ME? *throws potatoes*.

I’m beginning to think that if I did want a happily ever after (which I don’t because I want DRAGONS and knights in shiny armour with backstories to give you nightmares for DAYS) then I’d have to stick with contemporaries or something. Or maybe just The Selection series? My favouuuurite ‘happy’ book that comes to mind is Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens agenda – but there’s still a ridiculous amount of feels in that book. Maybe we’ve all become feels addicts.

Omg, I WANT DRAGONS TOO. I want dragons, basically, and fantasticalness and probably dangerous adventure. Who wants a golden HEA anyway? *flips hair dramatically* Although I have to agree with you on the Simon Vs front. 😂 I cannot stop squeeing over how adorable that book was.

This is so true! My favorite book is Clockwork Princess and it made me cry so badly! It’s like what you said, a) we like to feel things b) we care about the book. Even my favorite otp is the one that has the most tragic stories (merthur?? percabeth??) It shows that we care about them and just love them I guess. Sometimes I feel like readers are masochist…Tasya recently posted…Why I DNF Bad Romeo by Leisa Rayven

I like to think of myself as a masochist for reading and loving such sad books all the time. Like, I even look forward to major characters dying in a book. *looks away* I NEED THIS SADNESS IN MY LIFE OKAY.

Honestly though, if I ever read a book that’s all sparkles and chocolate, I’d most probably get bored halfway through (not like I wouldn’t want to live in such a world). The intense and sad parts are what gets me hooked in a book, so if there isn’t a city collapsing or a character dying in the middle of a mission or something, I’d possibly won’t be as amused. xDMara @ Mara Was Here recently posted…Do Real-Life People Know About Your Blog?

*shakes head*All of these. All of these are true. Also, I’m a bloody masochist, Cait, even when books aren’t involved. We read The Book Thief in school, and I felt thrilled at the prospect of having my heart stomped on into a zillion little pieces of blissful pain. When I’m sad, I don’t do things to cheer me up. I DO THINGS TO MAKE ME MORE SAD. AND LAUGH. BUT CRY A LOT. BECAUSE I LIKE IT?!?!?!?!

I’m like the prime candidate for a drug addict and self-harmer with my addictive personality and masochism. Hopefully I’ll stick to fandoms and sad books.

Crying can be a sadness reliever, though, right?! Like most people feel better after they cry about something?! I think that’s a scientific fact too, hehe.😂 I READ IT ON THE INTERNET SO IT MUST BE TRUE. Ahem. But bookworms are a little bit nuts. WE ALL ARE.

Your first reason reminded me of a quote I just read yesterday:
“We’re gods, my dear, and we quickly grow tired of our immortal existences. Surely we seek for extreme ranges in emotion- good or bad, it doesn’t matter. In a way, it’s the absolute value of the emotion that is important, rather than the positive or negative nature of that emotion.”- Lightsong (Warbreaker, by Brandon Sanderson)
Admittedly, we aren’t gods by any means. Buuuut he has a point all the same. We read a lot of books that are ‘meh’, and it’s only the one that can really touch us, for good or for bad, that we really remember. And even if it hurts, as you said, we want to feel something.
Also, #6. Pretty much yes. At the very least, telling yourself “Frodo and Sam walked all the way from Rivendell to Mount Doom, and did you hear THEM complaining?” when you’re on a particularly steep hike that the rest of your family for some reason loves is a fairly good way to make yourself feel guilty about being grumpy.

I do that quite a bit. I might be cleaning the house and feeling really grouchy about it, but then I think “hey, this is WAY better than having to flee from my burned-to-the-ground home. I guess life isn’t so bad after all.” Reading gives you wonderful perspective on life.

@Sarah: THAT QUOTE THO. I need to go write that quote down immediately BECAUSE IT IS FANTASTIC OMG. And I couldn’t agree more. We want to feel intensely. *nods* And that’s another reason, I think, that “meh” books are so disappointing,….because they haven’t gotten a feeling to us AT ALL.
(Also definitely yes to using fictional characers’ paint to motivate us.😂)

Yes! You nailed it again, Cait! I love reading sad, emotional, sob-stories! And I think the main reason is because I just need a good cry every now and then, and it’s kind of safe to read about fictional people dying, even if it can be immensely painful as well. I have this theory that readers are more empathic than other people, because we become so involved with the characters we read about we almost think they’re real, and that’s why their lives touch us so much.
I’m all for happy and pretty every now and then, but I love a story that truly makes my heart ache, my eyes sting with tears, and an all-encompassing sadness taking me over.
Great post!

YESSSSS. And omg I agree with your theory! Plus when you’re reading a book you see it ALL. nothing is held back. You know their intimate thought process and their thoughts and dreams and everything. Whereas in real life, it can take years to get to that level, right?!

I don’t necessarily seek out sad stories but I do like good cry now and then. I think it’s catharsis of a sort, I get to experience all these intense feelings from a distance, without actually living out the tragedy. I love stories that punch me in the gut! 🙂

I did read somewhere that crying is good for you.😂 (Although, tbh, I have only like ACTUALLY cried over a book once and it was years ago, hehe.) But omg the stories that punch me in the guts are DEFINITELY my favourites.

I actually wrote about this topic in a section of my graduate school thesis! Here’s what the experts (AKA not me) say about it:

“Almost all good stories are sad because it is the human struggle that engages us readers and listeners the most. To watch characters confront their hardships and uncertainties makes us feel better about our own conflicts and confusions and fears. We have a sense of community, of sympathy, a cleansing sympathy, as Aristotle said, and relief that we are safe in our room only reading a story. A story of sadness, even tragedy, makes us feel, paradoxically, better, as though we are confronting our own conflicts and fears, and have endured.” – Robert Morgan

DUUUUUDE YES. I LOVE THAT QUOTE. And too true. Especially how it makes us feel better. *nods* And sometimes it makes our trials more manageable too? So go literature for encouraging us by having us read sad stories.😂

This is all SO TRUE!! I think for me, I can’t possibly think anything in my life is anywhere near as bad as the things I’m reading about in my books… so the more painful, the better. LOL Then my life looks like a pie of cake! (cake? Did I just say cake?! Yes, please!!!)Lisa @ Lost in Literature recently posted…Let’s Chat: Titans by Victoria Scott

In all seriousness, though, I think that a lot of it does have to do with wanting to feel /something/, wanting to be interested and invested and engaged (and, as an author, knowing that you made others actually feel something is pretty cool). And besides the pain makes the triumph all the sweeter. 🙂

The funny thing about this blog post is that the other day my younger sister finished reading a book and asked me why the good books had to be so painful. And I was like THAT’S WHAT MAKES THEM GOOD, MY YOUNG BOOK APPRENTICE. (The book was Cinder, which does in fact have a torturous ending.) Also, number 5 on your list is spot on.

Chocolate is the best remedy, especially for after you’ve just finished reading a painful book.

CLEARLY YOU ARE A WONDERFUL BIG SISTER, THO. *gives you cake* And heck yes to Cinder’s torturous ending. She should definitely read the rest of the books because THEY GET WORSE MWHHAHAH. *composes self* Yes. We bookworms have problems. Chcolate is the best remedy for everything basically.

AW THANK YOU CAIT. I try to be a good big sister. I wouldn’t say we bookworms have problems . . . . I would say we have quirks. The Lunar Chronicles does get even more torturous (but that’s why we like it, remember?? and plus it ends with cake, right?) and I also hope I can convince my sister to read the rest of the series that way I can talk to her about my tortured bookish feelings.

The sad toast murder scene made me laugh; I couldn’t breathe. XD But very true. It means a lot more when you have to work for at least a semi-happy ending.

I definitely like #1 because we all like to feel thing. BUT we don’t always like to feel things that are going on in our world. Like the pain in the real world is not something we want to face because IT’S REAL. So we transfer those feelings to the fictional world. Does that even make sense? Like we think we’re crying over a character death, but subconsciously we’re sad for real life reasons?

Well, of course I’m going to make a sandwich if you show me a picnic. Picnics makes me hungry. . .

#5 is very true. Authors like to spread the pain; not that I’m saying this out of personal experience. Uh, nooo. Not at all.

I don’t tend to actively seek out sad stories. I have three bookish rules: 1. Don’t read any books about mortal illnesses (cancer and the like), 2. Don’t read any books by authors who are absolute jerks/have really crummy ideals/insult their fans, and 3. No books about suicide.

I will sometimes break the last rule (once. I broke it once. To read Falling Into Place), but the other two? NOPE. However, somehow most of the books I read rip out my heart and stomp on it. MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS ALWAYS DIE. I mean, seriously? NO ONE I REALLY REALLY LIKE LIVES THROUGH THE END OF THE SERIES. It’s so frustrating.Aine recently posted…I Don’t Remember the Title/Author, But the Cover Was Red

Well I guess having rules for reading can be good! Tbh, I don’t actively seek out suicide books? But I don’t necessarily avoid them either…and a lot of my most FAVOURITE books do deal with the topic, sort of. So yeah. I mean, I don’t like reading books by horrible authors, but sometimes I do because I DO try to keep the art and the artist separate. (Not that it always works. Never eeeever going to read a Kathleen Hale book. 0_0)

And can we take a second to point out that A COUPLE OF DEAD TREES GLUED TOGETHER WITH BLACK AND WHITE SCRIBBLES ON THEM ARE GIVING US FEELINGS???? Because that’s amazing. And really weird, when put that way…
^ THAT IS JUST SO WEIRD I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME GAH.

“Once upon a time a small child read a book and HAD THEIR FEELS STOMPED UPON VICIOUSLY. So they grew up to be an author and, in pay back, wrote an even sadder and more painful book and FELT THE POWER OF REVENGE.” This may possibly be why I want to be an author….meep..

Your posts are seriously the best, Cait. They never fail to make me laugh XD

I don’t mean to read sad books. Usually it’s just a sad part (usually a well like character dying) that makes me shatter into a million pieces. I can’t do a thing about it but get on the ground and start picking up the pieces. When this happens though I feel like I’m in a daze. Winger by Andrew Smith and Crown of Midnight by Sarah J. Mass, those books made me drop my toast upside down. But these books are some of my favorite! So, I can forgive them. I think we love sad/feeling books because they are always the most beautiful. What books made you drop your toast upside down?

AGH 100% ME TO CROWN OF MIDNIGHT. I was so mad/sad/frustrated/screeching when that book ended. All in good ways.😂 And mostly also because the sequel didnt’ come out for A WHOLE ANOTHER YEAR AND I WAS IN SUCH PAIN. ehm.

The one that was the most true for me was no.10. The reason why I write brutal, painful, tragic stories is because of books like The Hobbit, All The Bright Places, Allegiant, Mockingjay, The Fault In Our Stars…
The book that made me cry(the whole package: tears, snot, slobber, ruined makeup and headache) the most(and broke my heart to bady I refused to read anything for a whole week afterwards) was All The Bright Places.Mironiel Blokzyl recently posted…Elly The Mechanimal Dragon | Gearbound Update 3

Ok, here’s my theory. We read books because we want to experience an adventure… pardon me, an amazing adventure because, who wants just an ordinary one? We want the best one! So, now that we have our amazing adventure, what makes it amazing? Of course, feelings! It doesn’t matter whether they are positive or negative. Without them, adventure would be meh. To sum it up, FEELINGS + ADVENTURE = AN AMAZING ROLLER-COASTER OF EMOTIONALLY DRAINING EVENTs THAT WILL LEAVE US SPEECHLES. Isn’t this what makes the book such an awesome read? Because I think it does. Story without feelings doesn’t appeal to me. I need to cry, to laugh, to forget to breathe… I need it all. And then, only then, I know that the book has a soul and I was able to see it and I won’t forget it. Though, it really is exhausting. 😀Simone recently posted…Is chasing dreams a waste of time?

I always actively try and avoid painful books, but then they end up being painful anyway! There’s a reason I’ve never read a John Green book, I don’t need that kind of torture, I’m sensitive, I’ve teared up just looking at a picture of the old couple from Up. Every time I read a book I suddenly become paranoid thinking “I love this character, OMG THEYRE GOING TO DIE NOW AREN’T THEY?”

OH MY GOSH YES. I think we enjoy sad books because like you said, it makes us feel and I know I’ve enjoyed a book if I’m laughing/crying/screeching I LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN AT THIS VERY MOMENT. Because if a book turns you into a sobbing mess, it means you care right?? Or is that some twisted masochistic bookworm kind of thing to say?? GREAT POST, CAIT!

I don’t know if I like to read “painful” books (i.e., books that are entirely pain). I like books that have both pain and… well, more positive stuff. Pain without something to balance it is just depressing.

But painful stuff is memorable. If I think back on books that I’ve read, I can see that I remember mostly the painful stuff. The Harry Potter books are a great example. I barely remember anything about the plots… but I remember the major characters who died in each book, starting with book 4. Ouch!

I haven’t dropped a piece of toast in years, jammed or otherwise. But… I have an urge to test the theory that it’s all height dependent. Apparently, toast lands jam side down because it only has time to spin 180 degrees. If you drop it from higher up, it may make a full rotation and land jam side up. Is it weird that I want to get a loaf of bread and a jar of jam just to experiment?

Well, that is true!! And I have read books that are totally depressing and they’re not good at all. I more meant, in this post, books WITH pain in them, not 100% depressing greyness. *nods*

DUDE. DON’T BE LOGICAL TO ME. I WAS PUTTING FORTH THE THEORY THAT TOAST IS EVIL.😂 Just kidding. I’ve heard that too. 😉 You should definitely test it. *nods* You can redecorate your floor in jam while you’re at it. So much win.

SO. SO TRUE. I always need an excuse to munch on chocolates, well most of the times I don’t even need one. And about that 2 am thing, dude I stay till 4 am sobbing and crying my heart out! And omg XD that’s true, although I haven’t read Got yet but I know reading that series will definitely make you feel better about your actual life! GREAT POST CAIT!

I LOVE SAD BOOKS I know when I love a book, because it makes me cry. This is basically my standard not gonna lie… When I review books, it is impossible for it to get 5 stars if I dont cry… This is of course an extremely logical thing to do, there is no flaws in my process. But for reals though, whats the fun of reading a book if it doesn’t make you want to rip out your heart and tear it into small pieces that blow away with the wind taking your soul and reason of existence away with it? There is none!

I LOVE THIS POST OH MY WORD. Yeah, some of my all-time favourite books are The Book Thief, Les Miserables, Deathly Hallows, and A Tale of Two Cities, and my favorite characters are ALL dead.
In fact, this whole thing applies to TV shows and movies too. The best episodes are always the ones that rip your heart out and stomp on it.

One of my all-time favourite books is The Four Seasons Of Lucy Mckenzie, which is pretty sad. Just…. ALL THE FEELS! I do like sad book, but i never cry when i read books only movies… Now I come to think of it, most of my favourite books are actually quite sad. I did cry in one book, Opal Plumstead, but I’ve never cried when I read a YA novel. AM I HEARTLESS???

ALL THE FEELS IS ALL THE GREATNESS. *nods sagely* Honestly my top favourite books of ever are aLL tragic and feels destroying…which I don’t even know what says about me. 😂
(I’ve only shed actual tears ONCE while reading. So we’re probably heartless together. It’s the crying on the inside that counts, right?!)

I adored this post! And, loved this whole paragraph: “Real life isn’t all peach pie and pickled pineapples. (I hope you paused to appreciate that alliteration.) Why would you want to read a story where EVERYTHING GOES RIGHT when, in real life, everything never goes right? Like sure, I dropped my toast, that sucks. BUT THEN IT GOES AND LANDS FACE DOWN AND THE JAM IS ON THE FLOOR AND NOW IT’S A SAD TOAST MURDER SCENE AND THE DAY IS RUINED.”
It’s so true, we readers love the pain of a good book. I think it’s because we can relate with a particular story and find a “sick” satisfaction in knowing we’re not alone.
Thanks for giving me a laugh and I hope you don’t mind if I reblog this on my blog. @sheilagood at Cow Pasture Chronicles

I’m glad you appreciated my toast analogy. 😂 I HAD QUITE A LOT OF FUN WITH THAT ONE. AHEM. We do love pain so much it’s probably worrisome. But I agree the “not alone” feeling is quite strong. Thanks for sharing the post!

I love sad stories because of that feeling you get after you’ve cried your eyes out for fictional worlds and fictional characters. .Sadness seems to be the be-all of the human condition, and so books feel real and as though they understand you. Also after a big cry you feel a lot more peaceful inside (sort of? I don’t think I’m explaining this very well) and it makes sense that you let a book do that to you. One of the best parts about reading books is allowing them to have so much control over you that once you finish it you are hung over about it for days on end. Sad books just grip their tiny little hooks in all the more deeper and so you stay hungover sometimes for months. It’s brilliant.

I think it’s like scientifically proven that crying makes you feel better, right?! I’m sure I read an article on that somewhere…(because everything on the internet is right 😂 AHEM). BUT YESSS ABSOLUTELY YES TO ALL OF THIS.

A++++++ FOR USE OF THAT MARK SHEPPARD GIF.
I remember when I read The Lord of the Rings for the first time and Frodo pASSED AWAY OVER THE SEA AND I CRIED FOR ABOUT TEN THOUSAND YEARS.
But the saddest was when I read A Shepherd’s Crown by Terry Pratchett.
Nope.
Nope nope nope.
That book messed with too many feels and I will never pick it up again, just glare at it from across the room.
(HE KILLED OFF HIS MOST CLASSIC CHARACTER, THE ONE EVERYONE LOVED, THE JACK SPARROW OF THE DISCWORLD SERIES. IT HAS BEEN *counts* SIX MONTHS AND I’M STILL NOT EMOTIONALLY OKAY.)

Dropping toast any side down is a terrible thing! I weep for a thousand days if my toast hits the floor jam side down. Also, I love number 5 on this list. All those memes are right. We rage as readers, and cackle evilly over painful plot twists when we’re writing. I definitely read sad stories for the emotional connection to the characters and story. If it can make me feel sad, then the author knows their stuff alright. All the feelings!

I think pain in books makes it all real, it reminds us that life is life and things happened and even though these people were created by someone they are still human (even if they are werewolves, vampires etc) and we feel things. It is the way of life. And I think that we want people to feel this pain in books because it reminds us that there is pain in life and everything isn’t perfect.

Readers really do seem to enjoy suffering…. maybe we just secretly enjoy pain? I feel like you do get to see another side to characters when you put them under pressure, though, so maybe it’s that?Kelly recently posted…Review: Stars Above

I actually try not to read sad stories. Reading is escapism for me, as I’m sure it is for 95% of the population, so I prefer reading books that make me think and take me on adventures. While 99% of the books have awesome characters that make me feel all sorts of emotions, I try not to read super emotional books. I’ve never read The Fault in Our Stars because I know it’s going to make me cry and depressed and I’m just not into being depressed. Maybe that makes me weird? I’d just prefer to read books that aren’t depressing!
~Sara

I completely agree with all of those reasons Cait. I feel like when a book is painful enough to make you feel all these different emotions, then that’s a sign that it’s a good book and the author has done their job.

I never thought about how painful books showing good we have it, but, now that you’ve mentioned it, they definitely do. (I mean, how could you complain after reading Code Name Verity or The Boy in the Striped Pajamas and seeing everything the characters have gone through?)

I always sound morbid saying it, but I really do love sad stories. The more tragic the better. It’s more true to real life, where there’s no prince charming coming to save the day, or happily ever after. Maybe I’m just a bit pessimistic, but as much as I love fantasy and science fiction, I like my dose of reality stuck in there. And YES! If a book makes me think, or feel something, in my mind, it has succeeded as a book on the highest level. ❤ JUST YES TO THIS POST

Dude, after this post: YOU CANNOT BE MORE MORBID THAN I JUST WAS. 😂 The tragic the better, I totally agree. And I guess a REALLY big reason for that is real life rarely dishes us out Happily Ever Afters, right?

For me it is the “rise above tragedy”, I like to feel inspired, but I must admit that doesn’t always happen and I end up feeling mushed (like with Allegiant). And when I was about eight I did drop my baby cousin on his head! This is why groups of free-range children are not a good thing! Thank the Gods he is smart! Ha ha. 🙂

Allegiant honestly made me grieve. I was so so sad that I was literally in a bad mood to everyone in my house and it took me a while to stop and think “NO ONE ACTUALLY DIED. It’S JUST A BOOK.”😂 But still. (I did love that one though. <3)

I seek all the feels when I read books. I hate it when I am indifferent while reading book, it means book failed me and that is a tragedy. If book does not make me feel big feels, I never remember it for a long. So yeah, give me painful heartnreaking book over mediocare ordinary fluffy book any time!Lucia @Reading Is My Breathing recently posted…FEABRUARY RECAP + BOOKSTAGRAMMING

I think painful books are just something that resonates with us more than happy books. It’s such a human thing. We’d rather pay attention to these negative, heavy feelings rather than the great happy ones. You brought up a point that I agree with, though. It shows that we care about the characters. I’ve read books where I felt like I should feel sad or upset, but I just felt “meh” and it was a little disappointing because I feel like I wasn’t invested enough. Plus tragedies have been happening since the dawn of civilization it seems hahaha.

I do, sometimes, enjoy tragedy. (But David Copperfield, for example is just layers of depression increasing and receding, so it can be a little much.) I think that often the heart-rending books we enjoy are also gorgeous books. I know this is not a book, so I probably will be executed, but West Side Story is possibly my favorite movie of all time and I cried uncontrollably through the last fourth of it.

I love this post – you are completely spot on! I finished rereading my favourite book last week (The Time Traveler’s Wife) and of course then felt completely sad for days afterwards! And I know it’s just a book really, and the characters aren’t real… but when I invest so much time in reading the story they do become real in my head and I can’t help but care for them.

I share painful books ALL THE TIME, mostly because I NEED to talk about things with someone. Code Name Verity is my favorite book, and it made me stay up reading until 2am trying to bawl my eyes out as quietly as possible, so of COURSE I had to make everyone I know read it. That’s how these things work.Clara @ Lost in My Library recently posted…Harry Potter and the Cursed Child – Excitement, Apprehension, and Other Feelings

UGG!!! THE PAIN OF JAM SIDE DOWN TOAST! I think that the reason I like sad books is because I love characters who can still be strong and amazing despite the terrible circumstances. Anyone can be fabulous in the right circumstances* but only a really awesome character can have their heart stomped on and their lives viciously thrown on the ground jam side down, and still come through it. I guess they just inspire me to live a better life. Also, any excuse to eat an entire bar of chocolate and sob with my fabulous fangirl friends, I will take. Gosh, I haven’t been in the blogoverse in forever and I really missed reading your blog posts!
P.S. Is there really such a thing as pickled pineapple?

Thank you for breaking it down for me, I was starting to think I just like causing myself emotional damage, but it’s actually just because it makes me feel better about my life! Plus, any excuse to eat chocolate.

Battling zombies for more jam is a surefire way of making your toast taste so much better. I totally did that just this morning. *cleans sword*

These are all such good reasons. *applauds you* I’m especially partial to the payback idea. Authors are clearly looking for revenge. I think the book industry is just a massive war among authors as they all try to punch each other harder and harder in the feels. Obviously I am incredibly invested in finding out who will win in the end.

I, um, actually was dropped on my head a couple times as a child. Well, technically not dropped. When I was a week old, my mom tripped and fell while she was holding me. And then a while after that, when I was about six months old or something, I knocked over my high chair and landed on my head. Obviously this gives me a free pass for being weird/sassy/tyrannical/homicidal/emotional. *nods* I AM GLAD YOU UNDERSTAND THIS, CAIT. 😛

And you’re totally right–painful books definitely make more of an impression on my little brain. Ergo, this makes them better. *nods*Liz Brooks recently posted…Q&A with Liz

Well I DEFINITELY believe you and shall be trying it myself very soon. I confess queendom sometimes is so taxing that I just send my dragons out to battle the zombies and get my toast for me while I magnanimously rule twitter or whatnot. #sacrifices

The payback idea is basically why I’m a writer. AHEM. I DEFINITELY DID NOT JUST ADMIT THAT.

Omg, your MUM DROPPED YOU. Dude. You can blame your parents for aLL your life problems from now on. *nods* My mum fell down a small waterfall holding me as a baby….but I think she tossed me to a sibling so I didn’t actually suffer because of it? But I’m going to put that down as, like, one-year-old trauma or something and that’s the reason I write scary books.

There’s also something about a painful book that reminds you that the world is more complex and complicated (and painful) than your own little corner might be. That’s part of why I love reading books (often painful books) written from a perspective very different from my own – it’s challenging and a learning experience!Whitney @ Imaginary Book Club recently posted…Perfect Pairing: Between the World and Me and The Conjure Woman

I think the ones that apply most to me are the sense of realness and that they stay with me longer. If a book totally breaks my heart it’s just impossible to forget, and however depressing a painful book can be, it does seem more like real life. “Happily ever after’ just makes it seem like a fairytale, and real life isn’t like that!Laura recently posted…The Pros and Cons of Outlining Your Novel

AGREED!! And memorable books are the best ones, because … what does it even matter if you read something and forget it soon after? So the memorable ones = the ones we probably crave after. HUZZAH ALL THE PAINFUL BOOKS.

As always, your gif game is on point. Speaking as someone who has just been put through the wringer in my latest reading experience, *coughs* A Gathering of Shadows *coughs* I can definitely sit back and nod to every single one of these points haha.
I feel like when I go through bookish pains I have to shout it to the world and make them see how much they’ve hurt me. I also have a tendency to make other people read the same books so they can feel my pain cause I’m just that evil. 😛

AFDSDJSALKD I AM NOT SURE I’M READY FOR A GATHERING OF SHADOWS TBH, BUT OMGGG, I’M SO SO EXCITED. *flails* Ahem. *wishes the post would get it to me faster* And I definitely recommend specifically painful books. 😉 It’s like the bookworm duty, right?! 😛

To be honest, this is something I consider every so often because logically, it makes no sense. Why would we DELIBERATELY CHOOSE to feel sad and/or anguished? I think some of your points are pretty close to the explanations I’ve come up with, though. Specifically, the ideas that it shows we care about the book, that it feels more real, and that the sad books stay with us longer. I also think part of it is because people like to feel things, as you outlined first–but more specifically, I think we like to feel things within the safety of a book. Most of us wouldn’t actually want to experience soul-crushing sadness, but through a fictional character we can experience it with a little distance and then close the book when we’ve had enough.

I KNOOOOW, RIGHT!?? Hence the “Dropped on our heads as small children” theory because WHY DO WE LIKE PAIN SO MUCH, OMG?!? Ahem. But I’m glad my points sort of sound logical. 😉 I also agree with the “within the safety of a book”…because, omg so true. We are GOING to feel pain in real life, but at least in a book we a) choose the pain, so we have that control over it, and b) we know it’s not going to directly effect us? (I mean, beyond ugly crying and feeling like your best friend just died. ahem.)

Omgosh Cait, you did it again *sobs* brilliant post. I agree with everything. Life is complete. This is the happiest ending I’ll get (reading your posts that is) hahaha *goes and reads another painfully sad, dystopian book* sink me

Oooh I love a painful book. I think a lot of your reasons are very valid. For me, it’s probably a combination of a few of these. I definitely like to feel things. And if a book doesn’t make me feel things, you’re right- I am either not that invested, OR the book is not really speaking to me. Either way, that’s pretty “meh” all around. I’d rather hate it than feel nothing! I think there’s also something about reading a book, sobbing your eyes out until you want to throw up, and feeling like you want to curl up in a ball and die that’s really cathartic. It’s like releasing something that’s built up, but via this bookish outlet rather than being sad about your own stuff. Because when the book ends, you can kind of move on, but if you start sobbing about your own life.. well, that doesn’t go away.

Also, I am certain that I didn’t get the right message from the Hunger Games, because I was just jealous of Katniss. Which is messed up, right?

You are so right. I love painful books! One of my favorite books of all time is The Book Thief. That book just about destroyed me, but I love it. I figure that I am just a sadist who loves pain, but your reasons sound great too.Cynthia @ Bingeing On Books recently posted…BOOK REVIEW: Ink and Bone (The Great Library #1) by Rachel Caine

I’ve just eaten but you’ve made me hungry with all the jam, toast and chocolate references as usual XD I completely agree with painful books – the emotion makes us remember it more and feel so much more! They also give you that sense of feel good and perspective about your own life, that it isn’t that terrible. Lovely post Cait!Jeann @ Happy Indulgence recently posted…Indulgence Insider #48 – Next OzYAY radio show & Aussie YA instagram challenge

My absolute favorite book of all time is Monsters of Men, every chapter of which I gasped or said “oh no!” out loud. I’ve even reserved a goodreads folder (my ONLY goodreads folder) for books that made me cry actual tears. There are three books in it.

This is so accurate, I’m slain. Like..the first book to break my heart was Wuthering Heights. I screamed at the characters so much…and then I said, “I want to write a book that makes people scream.” So, that’s been my mission and project for nearly 5 years now. I keep rewriting it because iT”S NOT DARK AND ANGSTY ENOUGH.

I do like my sad stories and I know it. One of my favourite books is The Kite Runner for starters. I’m not entirely sure why… but it did stay with me for a really long time and I could think of nothing else. And the horror of what happening was what gripped me to keep me reading. So I suppose all your reasons are valid ones!

I think it takes a very special kind of book to make us feel things SO intensely and when we do we want to share those feels with EVERYONE. So many books are just ok, cute, interesting or even meh but for a book to make us LOSE IT just means it was a work of art! Anytime a book destroys me, you can be sure I’ll be obsessed about it. Hey, maybe I WAS dropped on my head as a child XDMicheline @ Lunar Rainbows Reviews recently posted…Review: Shadows of Self

That’s so many good reasons, Cait! I hadn’t really even thought of it but the books I push on other people are always ones that made me suffer. I also think that it’s easy to empathise with a character that’s going through something awful, so you end up caring about them so much (too much) that you just /can’t/. They destroy your life and you love them for it :'(
I have to think about this some more. Are we all just really screwed up to love painful books?
Thanks for the interesting post, Cait!

When I started reading this post, I was like: I *don’t* like sad books. And then I remembered the fact that two out of my ten favourite books of all time made me cry. So apparently I do have a minor penchant for painful books. Although one of them ended not so painfully, and with hope etc. But the other was just plain old cruel and made me mourn everything that could have been.

I think the major reason why those two have stuck out at me is because even though I love a lot of books, and the characters in those books, it takes something EXTRA to make me really love them and thus cry all over them. So I think those two (and several others) have been catapulted to my favourites shelf is because I actually felt more than a squealing fangirl sensation over them. I legitimately CARED about these characters, so much so that I shed tears for them. Which is rare. Seriously rare. Like, I can name all the books I’ve cried in.Chiara @ Books for a Delicate Eternity recently posted…Five Fantastic Things About Not If I See You First by Eric Lindstrom

I toootally get this. *nods* particularly when, like, one isn’t very emotional (aka me) so when a book DOES make me emotional I know it’s insanely good. (I think I’ve only actually shed REAL tears over two books though…Perks and If I Stay. And If I Stay was because it was an audio book and THEY HAD SAD CELLO MUSIC GOING and…I stood no chance.)

Girl you just described everything I felt after I read Me Before You! That book left me looking like a HOT. DISHEVELED. SNOTTY. RED-FACED. MESS. I saw the trailer for the movie and I wanted to read the book so bad so I immediately bought it. The book was worth every peso I spent! It was funny, riveting, well-paced and most of all it was SAD.!SOUL-CRUSHINGLY SAD! But it made me feel so much and think so much about how I should live and value life. It’s definitely one of those books that changes your life. And even though the ending wasn’t how I was expecting it, ( I was still so thinking positively until the last few pages.) I think it was really fitting to the message the book was conveying. After all “You only get one life. It’s actually your duty to live it as fully as possible.” :'(

PS. My mom even saw me ugly crying. It was sooo embarrassing! She even teased me for it! X(

It’s a really good read! I highly recommend it! I might have been dropped as a child as well because I’m such a sucker for painful books. The trailer was really awesome! Plus it doesn’t hurt that it stars Sam Claflin (Finnick! He lived and is now dating Danaerys! Hahaha . XD ) and Emilia Clarke (*gasp* The Mother of Dragons!) <3

#1 is absolutely the most true, but probably #4 too, I wouldn’t be surprised.

I think #8 is my FAVORITE reason for painful books, though! I totally lived vicariously through Celaena in Heir of Fire, not going to lie. >.> I’ve never felt anything remotely as traumatic as what she went through in those books, but that heroic character change at the end of HoF… WHOA. I was genuinely in-real-life inspired. That book, despite its flaws, was like the essence of why I love epic fantasy.

Okay, so I’m obviously an insanely odd bookworm in that I DON’T like feels >.> I feel like an alien/traitor to the race of bookworms, but I DON’T like my heart being torn out or characters having not happy endings or my favorites dying left and right, which means that books that do this to me have a 87.354% percent chance of getting an extremely low rating and/or a rant from yours truly, because they make me fume and die inside and be depressed for at least a week and a half, and I’m firmly of the belief that REAL LIFE IS AWFUL ENOUGH WITHOUT BEING SO DARN REALISTIC IN BOOKS THAT IT’S TRAGIC.

OMG I MUST HIDE MY WRITING FROM YOU THEN.😂 hehe. But I understand! Sometimes books are our escape and we don’t want to be battered and bruised by them too? But yup. You’re probably the only one. 😂 *eats all the cookies from the dark side alone*

(Okay, so I should mention there ARE exceptions to this rule, like if I’m really addicted to something, I’ll forgive it. So Six of Crows and things, I don’t care if it tears my heart out, I STILL NEED THE SEQUEL. So for your books I DON’T CARE IF THEY TEAR MY SOUL AND HEART OUT AND TRAMPLE THEM BECAUSE I NEED YOUR HUMOROUS AMAZING BOOKS. I also sometimes read books of genres I never would because you recommend them. I will make a loooot of exceptions for you. XD)Deborah O’Carroll recently posted…throw your dream into space like a kite

I ask myself this ALL THE TIME. I actively avoid movies that I know will make me cry (re: anything Nicholas Sparks has EVER TOUCHED EVER) but give me a book about a suicidal teenager and I’m like OMG I MUST READ ABOUT ALL THE SADNESS. GIVE ME MORE FEELS. And then I have to explain to my friends, “It’s not JUST a book character.” I think you’re right. Sad things stick longer. They allow us to find meaning in a place where meaning can be made, when it’s so hard to find in our own world.

DUDE YES TO THAT INDIE BAND NAME. I should probably sell that because it’s clearly inspired. *nods sagely*

aND YES EXACTLY THIS. I mean, I do like sad movies too?? 😂 But I just think they definitely stick longer because they MEAN more and they affected us deeper than just a happy-all-ends-perfectly book would?

[…] Why Do We Read Painful Books? – I LOVE books that make me cry, and I find that a totally normal thing, but there are a lot of people who don’t understand why I want to read a book if I know it’s going to make me a sobbing mess. Next time I get asked why I will be producing Cait’s list, because it is perfect and so so true! […]

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