Overview:

In this episode we discuss codependency by answering the following questions:

What is codependency?

Where does codependency come from?

What are the symptoms of codependency?

How to overcome codependency?

What is codependency?

Dr. Dean Robb describes codependency as 2 incomplete people who are trying to fix themselves through another person.

What are the symptoms of codependency?

Do you know these two James Taylor songs? Johnny Comes Back & Be As You Are? Dr. Robb reads the lyrics and shares how they are codependency for him.

Johnny Comes Back

Be As You Are

Where does codependency come from?

Children are needy. Adults need to focus on the child and helping meet their needs. When this is done, humans can grow up having a sense of safety. Unfortunately, so many parents and adults are not whole and are not able to give their children the emotional support that the child needs. This can develop into codependency as we grow up.

How to heal codependency?

Shame is at the core of codependency. One has to realize that emotionally, this will not work for me. They have to be willing to embrace the shame and start working through the emotions and beliefs they have.

Thank You For Listening

Emotional Sobriety With Dr. Robb Dean

Emotional Sobriety is the ability to have a healthy relationship sith ones emotions. To be in touch. To be aware. To let yourself feel them and interpret them. Emotions are a fact of something going on inside of you. Emotional Sobriety is the ability to act on your emotions in a healthy way.

Emotional sobriety is not an emotional roller coaster. It is not being whiplashed by your emotions.

In general, the idea that other people cause me to feel anything is erroneous.

Many people have disassociated from their feelings.

Feel Wheel

If you have a question for Dr. Robb to answer on an upcoming podcast, please contact me here with that question. Your identity will not be shared on the podcast or website. Thank you!

Thank You For Listening

This week we are talking about doing the work required to discover your inner gold. We jump into all the different ways that people use to avoid paid and the fear of pain. Then we get to the good stuff, what is on the other side of that pain.

Inner Gold:

We are born with our Inner Gold inside of us. Dysfunctional and unloving households suppress them.

aptitudes

interests

loves

passions

capabilities

Dr. Dean goes into the conflict between the individual and the collective. The collective is all those forces that want us to fit in and become part of the collective. The problem with that is is not possible for an individual to ever fit in.

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”

– EE Cummings

If someone wants to discover their inner gold, they need to get back in touch with their original self. We need to reconnect and heal those psychic wounds.

A list of distractions:

Addictions

Dysfunctional Relationships

Jobs & Workaholism

Life Projects

Life Coping Strategies

Codependency

People Pleasing

Never Saying No

Self-Abnegation: the denial of oneself

Relationships and friendships with people who you shouldn’t be friends with.

Enabling

Step 1: Stop running and let the pain hit you

Imagine Indiana Jones running from that big ball. Then just stop running. Running includes any of the behaviors listed above. Or it might be something different.

Step 2: Grieve

Many times people find that they grieve a childhood they did not have.

Sometimes there is sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional, verbal, spiritual abuse, abandonment, and/or neglect. These abuses can create a deep well of shame.

Shame is different than guilt. Guilt is remorse over something you have done and you can make amends for. Shame is a darker feeling. Shame is associated with one’s identity. Shame causes you to feel completely worthless. The only way to stop letting shame run you is to feel it and grieve.

Step 3: Do the work

Doing the work can look many different ways. But it’s pretty simple. (Not easy mind you, but it is simple.) It is traveling through the pain and reintegrating it into your human experience.

Doing the work starts with a recognition that your current life is not working for you. You are unhappy with your results. It requires a willingness to go within and immense honesty.

You can also journal or record audio. Most phones today have a recording option on them. The key to getting this to work is to just let the information flow out of you.

Some questions to journal/record on include:

Why am I involved in this dysfunctional relationship?

What am I getting out of it?

Find a therapist or a coach. Make sure they understand what you are going through.

You’ve heard me say how much I love coaching. Every person has a natural level of success they will achieve on their own. (I’m not talking about money, although that can be one way to measure it. If you are reading this then you are successful!) We must be open to feedback and coaching from someone who has been there and can see what we can’t.

Overview:

America’s Drug Death Capital

Sunday morning (Sept 18, 2016) I woke up and checked my iPhone. I don’t normally do that…in fact, I’m strongly opposed to doing that. However, since I upgraded to IOS 10 before falling asleep I wanted to see what was different on my phone. The new IOS seems to make checking the news a lot easier.

Somehow I ended up reading the CNN article about Heroin in America by Story by Wayne Drash and Max Blau, CNN. I couldn’t get through the story without crying.

Then I shared it with my husband and again started crying.

Weekends are typically family-time in the Tucker home but I couldn’t help myself, I had to record this for those of you who might not have seen it.

I apologize for the sniffles, I tried to pull it together for the podcast but there are parts that are just too sad. I hope that you’ll help me spread the word. We’ve got to do something about the heroin epidemic.