What can I do if my 6-year-old keeps getting in trouble at school?

He keeps getting marks in his folder saying he's not following directions and talking, we've tried everything from taking toys away to writing sentences but I feel like he might think he's a bad kid. He's not bad at all but I am getting very frustrated because I don't understand why he's getting in so much trouble at school.

How about earning a reward instead? Talk to his teacher and see if you can get a report everyday - even if it's just a quick "he did OK today" with no details. On the OK days, he earns a reward. It could be a simple sticker on a chart - get 5 stickers, earn a toy at the dollar store, or it could be a cookie after dinner. Or anything else you think would work for him.

Also, talk to the teacher about what is happening and when. Is he restless all day, only in the morning or after lunch? Does he talk to one or two kids in particular or does he just talk out loud to anyone and everyone? With more details, you have a better chance of getting changes.

If you do something like the sticker chart, I'd suggest you take a picture of it and tape the photo to his desk. That way he can see a reminder of his "reward" for behaving during the day.

Ask also, what kiind of directions is he not following and when exactly is he talking. If she wantsa first grade class completely quiet, then something is wrong with her. Another thing, is he bored.?Ask him why he is getting into trouble and see what he says, but, ask easy questions that he can answer. If he knows your rules and you know how he is, then something isn't right. I know people will say something about kids being kids. children know rules, and it seems yours does, so it seems something more.I know my girls knew the rules, and yes they got in trouble sometimes, but, not to the point of frustrating me.Does he like his teacher or instructioanl Assistant if they have one?

I have the same problem. My son is in second grade...but he's not ADD/ADHD. Already had him checked out...the doctor laughed at me. Needless to say, I think a lot of times it's the teachers that expect there kids to be perfect little soliders...and not talk or anything. I also think it's labeling and then boredom. I mean come on, reality check, you can't expect a 7 year old to sit still for two hours. Let's be realistic. Maybe you should talk to the teacher and find out exactly what he is doing and try to talk with him...and then you could even go to the classroom and do some nice and easy corrective behavior with him. Meaning, when he gets off task go in there and stop him...right then and redirect him without being mean. Gently...but firm. Does that make sense? Is he an only child? My son is and doesn't have many kids in the neighborhood to play with...I think that is the main problem with mine.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 9:37 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

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I am in the very same boat as you and just posted my own question. So I KNOW how you feel! I hope that you find what works for you. Good Luck!

I have a sucker tree now for mine. He brings home a folder everyday, and there is a chart on the back that notes his behavior for the day. Green if he was good, yellow if he only got in "trouble" once, Orange if it was more than once, and Red if he had to be called down several times.
When he comes home on Green.. he gets to have one of the suckers from the sucker tree.
It seems to be working great.. We've done this all month.. and only had yellow twice for talking during class. I also have a great communication line with the teacher.

My son also had problems in first grade with listening and quieting down (he's now in 3rd grade and is much better). Our solution was to have the teacher email us each day with a quick note that said how his behavior was. We sat down with our son whenever there was an issue and reminded him the type of behavior that is acceptable and not. Every day when he went to school, I reminded him to listen. When he did well he got acknowledgement and a high five. We tried the sticker chart and rewards at the end of each week, but unfortunately nothing worked except taking away priveledges like treats and cartoons. But you'll know what works best for your child - rewards or not. Before taking him to the dr. to see if he has ADHD watch his behavior to see if he can focus on other tasks. He might just be bored in class because it's not challenging enough.

You may want to work together with your son's teacher on a great way to get him to not talk out of turn. My daughter likes to chat endlessly sometimes and knows its not appropriate. She has discovered that if she raises her hand first before speaking, the teacher is more apt to let her yak away for a couple of minutes until she's said what she needs to. Positive reinforcement goes a long way toward self-esteem. I hope this helps.

I am having a similar problem with my son. He gets in trouble almost every day at school. Some things are minor and some seem more extreme. (One day he did a handstand in class) He is a pretty rambunctious boy but he is very sweet and means well. I had him assessed for ADHD at the beginning of first grade because he had so many problems in Kinder and in first grade and he was diagnosed and put on meds. I think the meds are helping but he still gets in trouble from time to time. He seems to gravitate towards other boys like him and gets into trouble that way. He tries so hard to be "good" at school and struggles so much! I hate it but I am doing everything I can as a mom to help. It frustrates me that he continually gets in trouble but I am done punishing him at home because at home he is usually ok.