Swag Hag

by Damon Suede

I love free stuff.

I come by that honestly. I was raised by
an Arabic mom in the Deep South and I don’t think we ever made it
out of a relative’s home or business without affectionate presents
being thrust upon us: anything from food to powertools to jewelry.
For Arabs, impromptu gifts are a kind of physical manifestation of
love and respect, so promotional items have always made perfect
sense to me. Like crazed family gifting, author swag is a kind of
concrete, three-dimensional “thank you” for fans.

When I found out about the upcoming
GayRomLit retreat and signed up to head to New Orleans this October,
I signed up so fast that my keyboard smoked. At long last, here was
a convention designed to celebrate gay romance fiction in all of its
sentimental, sinewy splendor. New Orleans in the autumn with a
bunch of crazed fans? Muffulettas and strippers? Hell, yeah!

Of
course, committing to attend a romance conference as an author means
one thing: SWAG-You’re-It! Trouble is, gay romance is not a mass-market
subgenre (yet). I can understand an up-n-coming MF author ordering ten
thousand laser-etched, monogrammed tongue studs for RT or RWA in
June, but with the GayRomLit event cap set at 300, I knew I’d have
to be smart about my favors. In the world of promotionals, 300 is
miniscule. Money is an object when customizing that few
items. On the other hand, crappy swag is self-defeating.

What I learned is that authors are
generally cagey about swag because no one wants to get scooped. Who
wants six other writers to piggyback on the cool
tchotchke they’ve
unearthed? I needed to get off my asterisk and suss this for myself.
In a panic, I called on my Arabic relatives. These folks are
old-school merchants from way back and they have been selling things
and trading things since their ancestors (in what was then
Phoenicia) invented this funny thing we now call the alphabet to
encourage retail. Nifty gifts and friendly swag are their lifeblood.

“What,” I asked, “can I bring to
GayRomLit that won’t suck?!” Rabid liberals all, they were suitably
titillated by the “naughtiness” of so many ladies digging sultry
man-action, natch. But after jokes about customized ben-wa balls and
themed undies, they gave me some useful advice that saved my hiney;
you may know some of the lyrics already, but the song went a little
something like this:

Promotion is favors. It’s always who you know…
Don’t be afraid to call on the people who can help you in
keeping costs low and coolness high. Let people who love you
help identify things that are singularly you. Ask for help and
answers will come from unexpected sources.

Cheap is expensive. Be judicious about your swag
because 1 keeper does more than 15 trash-bound gewgaws. As my
mom always said, “You can have anything Good/Fast/Cheap,
but only two at a time.” So be sure to shop smart: good
and fast, fast and cheap, or cheap and good.

Less is more. Swag doesn’t have to be expensive
to have impact. The goal is to make a connection and as with any
gift, a simple, well-chosen item always means more. Even if
you’re a zillionaire, digital escargot forks can look lame next
to something thoughtful and hand-made. Decide what you want to
spend and accomplish, then find the sweet spot at that
intersection.

Longer is better. Make sure that your swag is
something you would keep and use. Cookies lovingly iced with
your web address mainly get seen by people’s stomachs. If 15
writers bring corkscrews, yours may go in the bin. Always opt
for gifts that will survive longer than the event.

Memory is key. All creative careers are built
upon a name. KLEOS! There’s a reason Masters signed their
canvases and autographs have value. Your swag choices should
reflect your brand as an author, your style and subgenres. And
whether you’re giving away keychains or iPods
everything must bear your
mark, be it website address, cover art, or that all
important name. Help them remember.

In
the end, my relatives’ sagacity and humor saved me a lot of
headaches and hours and money. I decided what I wanted to spend per
fan, set a price cap, and identified event-appropriate swag within
my budget. I talked through those options with people who care about
me and know my writing and get my “brand” such as it is. They
pointed me in a direction and (I think) I wound up with distinctive
favors I can’t wait to bring to our genre party in New Orleans.

In the swag hunt, spending our time and money wisely saves our
readers time and money as well. Smart promotional items work for us…
encouraging repeat custom and long-term loyalty, keeping our names
gently visible, while letting us write more and nag less. Like the
surprises my relatives are always tucking in my jacket as I head out
to the car, good swag is a gentle reminder to come back and visit.

Copyright 2010. Damon Suede. All Rights
Reserved

Originally published in the Pot of Gold (#8, Q2,
2011), the
newsletter of the
Rainbow Romance Writers chapter of the Romance Writers of America