Friday, January 11, 2013

2/4/2000- This
past week I had the very meaningful experience which I am deeply grateful for
of being on a rabbinic retreat sponsored by Clal.The retreat brings together rabbis from
different denominations in Judaism and we spent a week studying together in
Newport R.I.

And there is one moment in particular that happened on
that retreat that will stick with me for a very long time.On Thursday night, we saw the film Trembling
before God, which movingly and emotionally portrays the conflicted and torn
lives of individuals who come from a background of Orthodox Judaism and in many
cases still wish to remain within the Orthodox Jewish community and yet have
publicly announced that they are gay.The
director of this movie did a wonderful job of contrasting the views of rabbis
whom he interviewed for the film-including R. Shlomo Riskin-who uniformly
responded that a gay Jew is someone we must love, but is also someone who is
entirely violating halakhah, with the reaction of the community's and more
particularly the families of these individuals, who generally ostracized the
open homosexuals and made them feel unwelcome in our Godly community.

As powerful as this film was what will make the moment
unforgettable was what happened after the film, when I found myself in front of
35 other rabbis, some of whom were openly gay, and I felt a need on some level
to explain how I as an Orthodox Rabbi could advocate living in a society whose
laws can at times be used as a vehicle which inflicts pain on individuals who
by all other standards that we know of today are entirely innocent and noble.

And so I sat there and openly wept for the pain of these
individuals and their families.These
people are in many ways real heroes.They
are engaged in an extremely serious struggle.The concepts of kedushah and Torah are ideas that are daily inhabiting
their lives.And I cried for the tragedy
that they faced such a terrible conflict in their spiritual lives.But
when I finally found the words to speak I actually pointed to a text that we
read today and I thought of Rashi's commentary to that text.We read this morning the mitzvah of parah
adumah, the red heifer, about which the Torah states, zot chukat ha-torah, this
is the law of the Torah.And Rashi
explaining the concept of Chok says, Lefi she-hasatan ve-umot ha-olam monin et
yisrael lomar mah ha-mitzvah ha-zot u-mah taam yesh ba-hen le-fikach katav bah
chukat, gezerah hi milfani ve-ein lekhah reshut le-harher acharehah, for when
the Satan and other nations will throw arguments at you and say what is the
meaning of this law and what reason is there for it, we should respond,
"it is a chok," it is a decree before me, and I have no permission to
think evil thoughts about it.

And about this mitzvah of parah adumah, the midrash says,
that Shlomo Ha-Melekh states, "Amarti achakhmah, vehi rechokah
mi-meni."I said that I would
understand it, but it is distant from me.Now why is it that Rashi and Shlomo say that there are no explanations
for this mitzvah.In fact, over the
years I have heard many suggestions that quite rationally explain the mitzvah
of parah adumah.The reason is because
they felt that no one suggestion fully justified the commandment in their eyes.

And so at that moment I personally turned toward these
texts, and said chok hi, ve-rechokah hi mimeni, it is my law and it is distant
from me.I know that the Torah says the
word toevah-usually translated as abomination--about this prohibition, but I
also know that word toevah also appears in contexts throughout the Torah that
are not morally charged like the prohibition of eating animals that do not have
split hooves.

So I cited the concept of chok as an explanation for this
prohibition.Not because there are no
explanations, but because all of the explanations are distant from me.

And yet as I sat there listening to the tearful words of
an openly gay Conservative rabbi, I felt new insight into the depth of the pain
of this community.For someone who is
Gay and yet loves the richness of an otherwise Orthodox Jewish lifestyle, there
are basically 3 responses.This person
can subdue their homosexuality which they usually believe is given to them by
God and live an Orthodox Jewish life.Or
they can leave the Orthodox lifestyle entirely.But to do that is often exceedingly difficult, because as this gay rabbi
said to me, "I am not defined by sexual identity."

And so the third possible option is to live a life, like
we all do, on different levels, full of conflict and internal pain.And then it becomes our responsibility to
rise as a community to a level which this film showed that our wider community
is not yet at-to be able to say, your actions violate our laws, and yet we will
not ostracize you, we will love you the same we love all of our brothers and
sisters.

However, there is a flip side to this analysis.We did not just read this morning about the
mitzvah of parah adumah, we also read about the sin of the egel ha-zahav, the
golden calf.And the closeness of these
2 concepts is very apparent.Both are
the same types of animals-cows; both are similar colors-red and gold.In fact the Midrash comments on this close
relationship and says, "Tavo ha-em ve-khaper al ha-ben."The mother comes and atones for the son, meaning
that the mitzvah of parah adumah is an atonement for the sin of the golden
calf.

Why does the Torah select a chok that is so similar to
this sin of idolatry to atone for this sin of idolatry?Perhaps the reason is because when people are
unable to accept the obligations of a chok upon themselves their actions can
very easily turn into idolatry.The
rejection of the parah adumah can very easily turn into the acceptance of the
egel ha-zahav.

And the danger for this is certainly great when people
feel rejected.Once feeling rejected,
people often feel the need to defend themselves to the hilt.And since our sexuality is such an important
part of us, homosexuality can thus more easily and even understandably become
the centerpiece of their life. But when anything other than God is the center
of someone’s life, then we have entered the realm of idolatry. And so when
homosexuality becomes someone's primary identity, when the axis of God has been
replaced as central in someone's life, then it is idolatrous.

And so my response to the film Trembling before God is
that we as a community have to formulate a better response to someone who
appreciates the beauty of Torah and halakhah and yet lives as a
homosexual.Our response should be to
create an environment where we as a family can sit and cry with such a person
and say chok hi, it is a law of the Torah, but rechokah hi mimeni, it is
distant and I do not understand it, ve-ein li reshut le-harher acharehah, and I
have no permission to raise a voice against this prohibition.For it is only by sitting and embracing such
individuals that we as a community can prevent someone who loves Torah from
turning their homosexuality into an idolatry, moving from a rejection of the
parah adumah to an acceptance of the egel ha-zahav.

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