Maybe I'm being really insensitive, but I don't really see the big deal with someone asking anything.

Of course I believe you should ask before you hug anyone, or take photos, and anything else, but some people start shouting harassment when they wear a 'sexy' cosplay, and people ask them to make a 'sexy' pose.

A while ago, I wore a quite skimpy wiimote gijinka cosplay, and had a guy try to convince me to go back to his hotel room with him for "some fun". No matter what he said, I said 'no' and eventually he gave up and that was it. I'm not disgusted with him for trying to flirt with me, and I'm not going to start shouting "How dare you ask me that just because I'm in cosplay?!", I'm just going to get on with my life.

And looking at it from the other side, if I saw two men cosplaying something I shipped, and I asked them to do some yaoi fan-service shots for me, I would know they might not want to.
If they smiled, laughed and said "Sorry, but no", I'd get over it, but if they started shouting "How dare you ask me that?! Just because of your sick fantasy! Just because I'm in cosplay doesn't mean I'm willing to conform to your disgusting fangirl mind!", I'd be thinking "Calm down, get over it"

Maybe I'm being really insensitive, but I don't really see the big deal with someone asking anything.

Of course I believe you should ask before you hug anyone, or take photos, and anything else, but some people start shouting harassment when they wear a 'sexy' cosplay, and people ask them to make a 'sexy' pose.

I just wanted to say, in a lot of cases, it's not limited to asking. I'm not sure how many times you've seen the un-asked-for glomping, the repeated demands for pics after someone says no (and taking them anyway), and so on and so forth, but it's certainly there. Glomping someone from behind and copping a feel while they're at it, having a friend take a pic of the activity.. yep, that's there, too.

Of course, there's also the asking, asking, asking, asking, complaining that you're not a real cosplayer, not a real fan if you don't do a pose, saying the crowd wants to see it, getting others riled up and asking for you to do something as well.. it's all harassment. I've seen it before. And I shut it down in person whenever I can. Online, I just talk about it, like here.

Sometimes if you see one complaint about cosplay harassment.. it's just the straw that broke the camel's back. Not the first time, nor the last. Just one time in a long string that finally made someone speak out against it.

A while ago, I wore a quite skimpy wiimote gijinka cosplay, and had a guy try to convince me to go back to his hotel room with him for "some fun". No matter what he said, I said 'no' and eventually he gave up and that was it. I'm not disgusted with him for trying to flirt with me, and I'm not going to start shouting "How dare you ask me that just because I'm in cosplay?!", I'm just going to get on with my life.

Why should you have to say no more than once? Cosplay is NOT consent. Wearing a skimpy outfit just means that's what you want to wear, it says nothing about what you should do for others, or what they're allowed to ask of you, or how many times they're allowed to ask it of you. If YOU want to do sexy poses, feel free! But no one has the right to demand them of you. Nor anything else like going back to a room.

And looking at it from the other side, if I saw two men cosplaying something I shipped, and I asked them to do some yaoi fan-service shots for me, I would know they might not want to.
If they smiled, laughed and said "Sorry, but no", I'd get over it, but if they started shouting "How dare you ask me that?! Just because of your sick fantasy! Just because I'm in cosplay doesn't mean I'm willing to conform to your disgusting fangirl mind!", I'd be thinking "Calm down, get over it"

I don't know what I'm trying to say...

I think you're presenting a false dichotomy here. On the one side, you ask, they smile, and say no. On the other, you ask, they get angry and shout at you. What about the middle ground? Someone asks, and the cosplayer says no.. someone asks again. They get embarrassed and look for a way out. The person asks again, and again.. yes, this happens. I've seen it. From your description of the person asking you back to his hotel room, it sounds like you have as well, or at least a variation on it.

It is harassment. There's no reason to accept it. I'm very glad you were able to say 'no' enough times to get that person off your back, but that doesn't mean you should've had to say no that many times. Why isn't once enough, whether for pics or sexy poses or going back to a hotel room?

Maybe I'm being really insensitive, but I don't really see the big deal with someone asking anything.

Of course I believe you should ask before you hug anyone, or take photos, and anything else, but some people start shouting harassment when they wear a 'sexy' cosplay, and people ask them to make a 'sexy' pose.

I just wanted to say, in a lot of cases, it's not limited to asking. I'm not sure how many times you've seen the un-asked-for glomping, the repeated demands for pics after someone says no (and taking them anyway), and so on and so forth, but it's certainly there. Glomping someone from behind and copping a feel while they're at it, having a friend take a pic of the activity.. yep, that's there, too.

Of course, there's also the asking, asking, asking, asking, complaining that you're not a real cosplayer, not a real fan if you don't do a pose, saying the crowd wants to see it, getting others riled up and asking for you to do something as well.. it's all harassment. I've seen it before. And I shut it down in person whenever I can. Online, I just talk about it, like here.

Sometimes if you see one complaint about cosplay harassment.. it's just the straw that broke the camel's back. Not the first time, nor the last. Just one time in a long string that finally made someone speak out against it.

A while ago, I wore a quite skimpy wiimote gijinka cosplay, and had a guy try to convince me to go back to his hotel room with him for "some fun". No matter what he said, I said 'no' and eventually he gave up and that was it. I'm not disgusted with him for trying to flirt with me, and I'm not going to start shouting "How dare you ask me that just because I'm in cosplay?!", I'm just going to get on with my life.

Why should you have to say no more than once? Cosplay is NOT consent. Wearing a skimpy outfit just means that's what you want to wear, it says nothing about what you should do for others, or what they're allowed to ask of you, or how many times they're allowed to ask it of you. If YOU want to do sexy poses, feel free! But no one has the right to demand them of you. Nor anything else like going back to a room.

And looking at it from the other side, if I saw two men cosplaying something I shipped, and I asked them to do some yaoi fan-service shots for me, I would know they might not want to.
If they smiled, laughed and said "Sorry, but no", I'd get over it, but if they started shouting "How dare you ask me that?! Just because of your sick fantasy! Just because I'm in cosplay doesn't mean I'm willing to conform to your disgusting fangirl mind!", I'd be thinking "Calm down, get over it"

I don't know what I'm trying to say...

I think you're presenting a false dichotomy here. On the one side, you ask, they smile, and say no. On the other, you ask, they get angry and shout at you. What about the middle ground? Someone asks, and the cosplayer says no.. someone asks again. They get embarrassed and look for a way out. The person asks again, and again.. yes, this happens. I've seen it. From your description of the person asking you back to his hotel room, it sounds like you have as well, or at least a variation on it.

It is harassment. There's no reason to accept it. I'm very glad you were able to say 'no' enough times to get that person off your back, but that doesn't mean you should've had to say no that many times. Why isn't once enough, whether for pics or sexy poses or going back to a hotel room?

I'm sorry, I had a feeling that would come out worse than I expected it to.

I completely agree the examples you gave are not acceptable. Trying to inappropriately touch someone without their permission, and even worse, refusing to stop after they've asked you to, is a terrible thing to do, which I would never condone, no matter what the person were wearing. I suppose what I was trying to get across that asking for something isn't a bad thing. Doing something without asking, or disregarding the answer to the question you asked, is never a good thing.

I do agree with the phrase "Cosplay is not consent" as in it's most basic form it is true. Unfortunately, I have known people in the past who have abused it, which I suppose is why I tried to stress the "Asking once is not harassing" angle (even if I wasn't very clear).

Your point about not having to say no more than once is valid, but (by my personal standards alone) not an issue to me. In that situation, I did not feel pressured in any way, and in the past I have always assumed had I panicked he may have stopped. I assumed he would not have done something I didn't like. However, there is no way of knowing for sure, and for now there I see no harm in thinking the best.

I suppose it is also possible that in that someone would feel embarrassed, and as you say 'look for a way out', in that situation or any other, in which case, the scenario changes drastically. If it was someone else, who felt uncomfortable, I would be against anything after the initial ask.

It's a complicated issue, because it depends on both of the people involved, and I suppose the more serious cases are often kept quiet, as people who are upset rarely want to make a big fuss.
I think my view is biased as I have never seen or known anyone who has experienced anything serious (ie. being forced into something). The only cases I have heard about directly, are from a handful of people who will kick up a fuss about being "harassed" by a "disgusting pervert" who dared to ask them if they'd mind winking at the camera while they were cosplaying as Bunny-Girl Mikuru, which does make me a bit skeptical when people talk about 'harassment'.

I apologise if I posted without taking into account all proper considerations and I appreciate your well thought out reply.

I've heard about that happening, but I never been harassed while in cosplay. People would think I have been, but I only get girls asking for hugs (though, I do have a fear of touching, so I don't exactly enjoy it).

Outside of cosplay, however, I've been harassed twice, both time by guys. No means "no, go to your frickin' class and stop following me" right?

So I kinda can feel empathy for those who have. It is definitely not fun to be subjected to harassment and for sure, while you are doing something you love. I am grateful that while in cosplay, I've only been approached by nice people so far. Nobody deserve to be harassed because of cosplay and no one should feel like they have the rights to harass others for any reason.

Personally I have never been harassed at a convention (which is good because at the time posting this I've only been to one and I wouldn't want that to ruin my convention going experience).

In the time leading up to my first convention I for some reason went and found all these videos of people who have had less than pleasant experiences at conventions while in cosplay. I saw a wide variety of videos, mostly from teenage girls but I did see some from teenage guys. Hearing what they had to say scarred me, a lot.

See the people that have essentially become my convention friends are, one of my best friends (a dude), my girlfriend, and a few other people, but often the groups we put together have a few girls in the group, under the age of 25. After hearing all these stories, I was nervous like something bad was going to happen to my friends, but nothing did and we'll keep enjoying conventions

It's nice to see places like this where this crap sickens others as much as it does me

It happened on the last day of the con inside the exhibit hall. I was cosplaying as Izaya (long coat version). I was doing some last minute shopping and played the KH 1.5 demo. After buying a couple of T-shirts, my feet began to ache, so I decided to sit on a chair in the dining area in front of the concession stand. So after rearranging my bags and my feet got better, I began my way to the Nintendo Lounge. It was then I heard someone calling at me. I turned around and I saw this old lady. She looked like she was in her 50s-60s and dressed kinda sloppy. And she gave off this strange vibe that is hard to describe. She then repeated herself. I realized that she was talking in Spanish. I didn't know what she said because I don't speak Spanish, but I caught the words, "manga" and "anime". I thought maybe she was asking me where the anime booths are at. Oh boy was I wrong.

I told her that I don't speak Spanish. But as I was about to explain to her where the booths are, she immediately explained to me (in English) what she just said in Spanish. She said something along the lines of, "You look like you have a lot of animes and mangas in your bags" and then she called me, "beautiful virgin". Now this is what set off my creeper alarm in my head. I said, "Yeah, I like anime and manga." while I was thinking of a way to escape. Then she talked about how I rich I look, that I must be millionaire because I have money to spend on anime and manga, and how I have a pretty face (Note:She thought I was guy throughout this entire experience). Then, she asked me where I lived and I told her that I was late for a meetup and that I should be going. She said something like, "Okay. Bye-bye, beautiful virgin.", with a suggestive grin on her face. Right after that, I bolted straight to the Nintendo Lounge.

Fortunately, she did not stalk me. If she did, I will report to staff right away.

Now my experience wasn't as bad as others'. But it still is kinda creepy.

Started giggling when it got to the 'beautiful virgin' part. I'm going to start cosplaying this Halloween (that way I have an excuse, aha) as Totoro.

there was only one con that I went to where I started getting harassed.

we were at Anime Conji in San Diego, me and my chic friend were at the pirate party. we had a guy friend with us, but only 21 and older were allowed since booze was there, so my friend being 20 couldn't enter :/ this old creepy guy sat next to me and started patting my shoulder a few many times too many, and then he reached for my badge to "read" what it said and grabbed my boob instead. the dealer saw that and asked the guy to leave...but I stood up and before I could do anything my chic friend and one of the other dealers came and dragged me to another table. after talking about it, the creeper had security called on him and I left, I didn't want to deal with any other creeps that night.

the last con that I went to before life got busy was AM2 2012 (this year got cancelled due to the entire staff quitting), and me and my bf dressed up as chun li and ryu. guys kept taking pictures of me, but my bf always stayed nearby when the guys took only pictures of me (-.-')

Moral of the Story: Always go in a group, and make sure it's an even number of girls and that there are at least 1 guy with you. Ladies, never go to the bathroom by yourself, always with another girl. Gentlemen: DON'T LEAVE THE GIRLS EVER!!! THEY MAY GET KIDNAPPED AND HARASSED!!

Or if you have a bf and you go as a pair, have your bf wait outside near the entrance of the restroom, it's safer that way

Recently I read an article where a person interviewing cosplayers about harassment while cosplaying

A number of the guys that took part said that they hate seeing their girlfriends in uncomfortable situations but they can't do anything without seeming 'possessive'

To all males out there, remember you don't owe that person harassing your friend or girlfriend anything. If some creep is making them feel uncomfortable, please don't just stand by.
Remember you don't have to be a knight in shinning armor or Tuxedo Mask, but standing by silently doesn't do any good either