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Stacy McKee Discusses "Kung Fu Fighting"

You've watched "Kung Fu Fighting" and shared your thoughts with us, as well as with fellow fans, via comments and forum topics. Now it's time to read what the episode's head writer had to say about this "extended" Grey's Anatomy event.

On the show's writers blog, Stacy McKee posted some thoughts on "Kung Fu Fighting." Follow the link at the bottom for her full entry. Excerpts below...

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Let's talk about Meredith. She ended the last episode by finally putting her mother to rest by washing Ellis' ashes down a scrub sink.

And now she's reeling a little bit. Starting to reevaluate why she is where she is, why she's being haunted by her past, why - after experiencing death and coming back - she's still too scared to really move forward, to go after what she really wants ...

Meredith wants nothing more than to be strong and brave and... hardcore. And, in this episode, she comes so close. She's lying there in Derek's arms, and she starts to open up, to let him in. And, you can see it in Derek's eyes. You can almost hear what he's thinking in that moment, that this is it.

He put himself out there two episodes ago, told her that he wants a future - a real future - and wants it with her... And finally, Meredith is about to answer him. With something other than sex in an on-call room. She's about to let him in and admit life is short, so short. She wants that same future with him too. And yetâ€¦

She doesn't. She stops short of actually letting Derek in and - as usual - shuts down. Just shy of really putting herself out there. Almost hardcore, but not quite. He knows it. She knows it. Which is why she's so messed up in the end.

Ah, the end. When Meredith opens the door to find Alex and Lexie getting sexy in the hallway. Love it. In fact, I pretty much always loveÂ - whether he's heckling George or stifling laughter as they all watch the skydiver video. Alex is kind of the epitome of hardcore - he's a bad ass without even trying. He was with Ava last episode, he's with Lexie in this one... and he makes no apologies.

He calls it like it is - Alex couldn't have been more clear. Lexie may get laid, but she isn't getting a boyfriend. Not from him. Which she is okay with...

... At least she must think she's okay with it. Lexie Grey is struggling to be hardcore herself. I don't know if I'd go so far as to say, perhaps, this kind of struggle must run in the family, but... Okay. Fine. It must run in the family, because Lexie, though she's very different from Meredith in many ways, seems exactly alike in this case.

Meredith and Lexie both want to succeed. They want to be strong. They want to feel normal. They want, so much, to be whole. But it's a struggle â€" a genuine struggle for them. Being hardcore doesn't come naturally. Sometimes, they have to fake it.

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There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever.

MEREDITH: "You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done! All the boys and all the bars and all the obvious daddy issues, who cares? I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore."DEREK: "This thing with us is finished. It's over."MEREDITH: "Finally."DEREK: "Yeah, it's done."MEREDITH: "It is done."