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I woke up during the night with a start. I had had a bad dream about one of our little ones getting hurt. It was more than I could bear, and my mind chose to escape into reality! A peaceful, quiet, and safe reality.

I began to pray. I prayed longer and harder than I have in so long. In too long. And as I prayed, I realized that I just don’t pray enough. I have come to a place of dependence on myself, on my safe environment, on my own abilities, strengths, and mindset.

I was horrified. I confessed my sin.

To think that I can hold it all together, that I can protect my family; physically, emotionally, spiritually… it’s ludicrous. It’s unscriptural.

“We know that everyone who has been born of God does not keep on sinning, but he who was born of God protects him, and the evil one does not touch him.” 1 John 5:18

It’s all HIM. It’s all the One who died for me. It’s all the Protector, the Defender, the Gracious giver. It’s all HIM!

I walked into the room where our three children lay sleeping soundly. I touched each one. I prayed. I thanked. I savoured.

Here they were, under our roof. We know where they are at all times; what they do, what they think, how they think. We know they are safe, cared for, loved, cherished, protected, and belonging. And I blushed before my Maker as I thought of the many times I have wished the moments away. The countless inner thoughts I’ve had that the time would go by lightyears faster than it does. That our children will be off and away, and I can do what IIII want, when IIII want to…

Oh how I AM dependent on my Saviour to have the ability to savour the months, weeks, days, and moments during this precious and short season of life.

In 8 or 9 summers, my beautiful, eldest princess will be leaving the nest. A summer or two behind her, my son, and a couple behind him, the next. How brief this season is. So brief.

My prayer is that my heart would be changed, my mind renewed, and my desire rekindled to enjoy and be content with each phase of life. To invest fully into the given season, and to savour the blessings…

Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
So I will bless youas long as I live;
in yourname I willlift up my hands.

We have been in New Zealand for the past two and a half years while my hubby studies at Bible College. It has been such an incredible time, one that we will always look back on as the most BLESSED of experiences!

But in 9 days, our time here ends… and we are returning to Israel. Emotions are mixed. Busyness is high. Fears are great. And Unknowns are many. BUT GOD….

It is in times like these, that all we have learned over the past couple of years is put into practice, is recalled, and is needed. The Sovereignty of God over all is the blanket under which we take shelter, and it is what gives us His peace.

Job 42:2 states, “I know that you can do all things,and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.”

What a relief! Whatever God purposes, no man, plan, idea, finance, or evil can thwart.

In chapter 23:13 Job also says, “But he is unchangeable, andwho can turn him back?
What he desires, that he does.

According to this verse, whatever happens to us is not only what God purposes, but what God desires for us!

Surely I can rest in these truths. It seems that I’m in good company, the company of the likes of Job, as I grapple to accept and rest in this undying love and deep care of my Heavenly Father.

Help me, Lord, to truly trust in your ways, and to faithfully walk in the paths that fulfill Your purposes and desires for my family and I.

How wonderful these spaces, these breathers are from my Heavenly Father.

Whether it’s the quiet before the storm, or just a gift of grace, it matters not.

On days like these, I just dawdle, take it in, breathe deeply, and enjoy…

Thank you God. Whatever lies ahead, only you know. But it is so wonderful to rest knowing that you are the same yesterday, today, and forever.

On the hectic days, during the stressful hours, help me to remember the serenity of your Presence of I feel today.

Remind me to be content on those days too, resting in the knowledge that you know what I need, and when to gift it.

His glory is great through Your salvation,
Splendor and majesty You place upon him.
For You make him most blessed forever;
You make him joyful with gladness in Your presence.
For the king trusts in the LORD,
And through the lovingkindness of the Most High he will not be shaken.

A mother can be a stay-at-home homeschooling, homemaking, homebody, but in her heart she can still be elsewhere.

I confess that I have been blind to this truth until now. My eyes have been shut, and a pat on my own back by my own pride has been the case every now and then. After all, I am sacrificing a career, financial comfort, and a social life for the sake of my family, aren’t I?

But just because I am physically present in the home, it doesn’t mean that I’m giving it my ALL.

It doesn’t mean that my sole desire is to bless my husband and children, to serve them unconditionally.

It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t RATHER be doing a whole lot of other things, in a whole lot of other places…

And this is something that I am being made intensely aware of over the past days. And it’s freeing!

Psalm 101:2c so wisely states:

I will walk with integrity of heart within my house. (ESV)

OR

I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. (KJV)

May the meditations of my heart, as I walk within my house…

May my motives, focus, time, vision, and purposes, as I walk within my house…

Be with “integrity of heart.” Even “perfect” in God’s sight!

My true prayer IS to be ALL THERE in my home, as my Heavenly Father beats daily at its heart.

I feel inspired to be a wife who respects, loves, adores, helps, and serves my husband.

I feel inspired to be a mother who nurtures, invests in, pours out affection, and spurs on her children to display the Son.

I feel inspired to write, to share, to learn, to study, to listen, to touch.

I feel inspired to be thankful. Thankful for Salvation, my beautiful family, the Word of Life that I have the privilege to open and be changed by each day, for excellent books to read, Godly women to follow,

incredible blogs to draw from by women who walk in my shoes.

I feel inspired to live a SIMPLE life! Just to thank. Just to love. Just to learn. Just to live in the here and now.

I am not an obssessive Lord of the Rings fan, as countless in the world are. In fact, hubby and I watched all three films just prior to coming to New Zealand for the first time, for the sole purpose of seeing the NZ scenery 🙂

In one of the trilogies, I remember Gandalf saying something that struck a deep chord in me, and that I never forgot. I can’t remember the exact quote, but it was something like, “Do not despise the beauty of a simple life.”

I guess this quote jumped out at me because the one thing I have never wanted is a simple life. I have wanted an exciting, spectacular, awe-filled, talk-of-the-town kind of life… To think that someone would describe my life as “simple” was unthinkable to me. Horrific, in fact.

I have gone to great lengths not to allow my life to be simple. Thankfully I was given a husband who has often restrained me in my search for the unsimple life.

But… here I am in gorgeous New Zealand. I have been busy, I usually make sure that I am… But, now, for the past week or so, I have found myself NOT busy, NOT creating distractions, and NOT living sensational days.

And to my utter amazement, I am content!

I now (finally) see what Gandalf was going on about when he said something like, “Never underestimate the blessing of a boring evening at home.”

It IS indeed a blessing to live a simple life. To not have 21 things to have to be doing. To not have 3 places to need to be today. And to just sit, at the feet of Jesus, being faithful to what He has called me to do, and to whom He has called me to be.

Yes… I see the wisdom in it now. And pray that I will not lose sight of this glorious realization.

The Lord has laid it very strongly on my heart lately not to gossip. I know that in subtle ways I have partaken of this sin in the past, and I am determined to stick a knife through it and kill it once and for all! I don’t know why I never made such a rash decision about this sin before, but I’m excited to take on the challenge now and to be aware of abstaining from it at all times, and at all costs!

The dictionary definition for gossip is:

idle talk or rumor, esp. about the personal or private affairs of others

So, that means that any time I say anything about any other person, other than myself, especially talking about something that is someone else’s “private affair” I am 100% guilty of GOSSIP!

I once heard a good definition between the difference between FLATTERY and GOSSIP:

Flattery is something that you would say to someone’s face, that you wouldn’t say behind their back.

Gossip is something that you would say behind someone’s back, that you wouldn’t say to their face.

OUCH – on both counts!

What does the Bible say about gossip:

He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets,Therefore do not associate with a gossip. – Proverbs 20:19. – If I enter into any gossip at all, in any way, shape, or form, I risk others (rightly) not associating with me.

Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things. – 1 Timothy 3:11 – I am instructed to be dignified (reverent), and not to be tempted to speak about anything but the holy.

A perverse man spreads strife,And a slanderer separates intimate friends. – Proverbs 16:28 – I would never want to separate between intimate friends, or even separate myself from my friends!

In Romans 1, Paul speaks about “God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper” which includes gossip and slander in verses 29-30. These are the fruit of a depraved mind, and these acts are not proper for a child of God.

I believe that gossip, like so many other sins, is a habit, that I have too subtly become accustomed to, and have excused for far too long. Oh, it’s subtle, but I know in my own sinful heart that I enjoy it, and I am, with God’s gracious help and Hand, going to tolerate this evil sin NO MORE!

Lord, I pray that I would not enter into a conversation that would be about anyone but myself, or YOU! I pray that I would be faithful to your Word, and that I would please you in this area. May the words of my heart, and the meditations of my mind be pleasing in your sight Oh Lord, and may every word that proceeds from my mouth glorify your HOLY name! In Jesus, I pray.

Now the God of peace, who brought up from the dead the great Shepherd of the sheep throughthe blood of the eternal covenant, even Jesus our Lord, equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen. – Hebrews 13:20-21