Swash System Time Machine

The bane of the working human’s existence is not so much the whole working thing but rather, The Dry Cleaner.

Dry cleaners are never open. Actually, let me rephrase that — dry cleaners are only open during extremely inconvenient hours, such as: during the time you are at work, during the time you are too tired to pick up said dry cleaning, during the time you forgot about your dry cleaning and of course, during the time you urgently, violently, somebody-call-911-style need that bridesmaid dress for its corresponding wedding in oh, you know, three hours.

Dry cleaners also get mad at you. If yours doesn’t, may I introduce you to mine? Last week I got yelled at for bringing in a dress with pleats. The week before that, I was chastised for attempting to steam something on my own using noodle-broth, and just two days ago I was practically thrown out for asking if they could wash this vintage circus tent I found. How was I supposed to know that A) they don’t have tent-washing capabilities, and B) my elephant’s not allowed on the premises?

Whatever. Luckily for me and Baby Ears (elephant), P&G and Whirlpool createdthis Swash thingthat helps maintain your clothes in between old fashioned laundry-doing and dry cleaning. It’s not a washing machine (duh) and doesn’t replace a trip to the cleaners, but man oh Sam does it extend the time between pleat-scoldings and jaunts to your parent’s house for free wash cycles. It will not judge you, it will not reprimand you, and it is always open for business so long as you can figure out how to use it. (Which is surprisingly easy in that sort of hang-dress-and-press-button kind of way.)

We have one at the office, actually, which has made getting dressed in the mornings much easier. Gone are the days of looking for a freshly pressed blouse covered in shrink wrap that I have to claw off like a wild banshee. No more 8 AM panics over my lack of skirts without wrinkles or dresses that smell like they’ve been through one too many day-to-night-transitions.

What I do now is just sleep in my clothes the night before. It’s much more efficient! I put on a fantastic outfit, go to bed, wake up, get nice and sweaty on my way to work, and then put on my pajamas at the office. I take my wrinkly and questionably-smelling clothes off, put them in the Swash, and then put them back on again before my evening plans.

(The entire process technically takes only 10 minutes, but I keep my pjs on for the rest of the day because WHY NOT?)

I told you this thing wouldn’t judge.

It’s basically a miracle in the form of a device that looks like a time machine, and guess what? It loves Baby Ears just as much as I do.