An anniversary worth celebrating — twice

Five years ago I was able to legally marry the woman I love. Jennifer and I joined 18,000 gay and lesbian couples in California who exchanged wedding vows during the summer of 2008, a narrow window of time between the California Supreme Court ruling that our state constitution guaranteed marriage equality and the November vote on Proposition 8 taking that right away.

During that “Summer of Love,” it seemed as if there was a wedding every weekend. Couples who had been together as long as 50 years without being able to marry, like my friends Bud and Chuck, finally got the official stamp of approval on their relationship. Others in newer relationships felt the pressure to marry before Election Day, when the window might, and did, close. It was an exuberant and magical time.

Now, five years later, my friend Robert is organizing a fifth annual anniversary celebration for those couples in our circle of friends who were married in 2008. It is always a special weekend. We reminisce about our wedding ceremonies and relive how wonderful it felt to be totally included and equal in all respects. But there has also been a tinge of sadness to these anniversaries, since we know that we were among the lucky few who came in under the wire.

Thanks to Wednesday’s Supreme Court ruling overturning Proposition 8, this year’s anniversary weekend also will celebrate us soon being able to stand with our lesbian and gay friends as they marry the person they love and have committed themselves to.

It has been a long five years.

The court said that the federal government could not deny legally married same-sex couples the more than 1,000 rights and benefits other married people receive under federal law. This includes Social Security survivor benefits, the right to file taxes jointly, and spousal benefits for members of the military. The court also restored marriage equality in California by rejecting an appeal of two lower court rulings establishing that Proposition 8 was unconstitutionally discriminatory.

With these victories for freedom and justice, it is now time to turn our attention to the 38 states that still treat same-sex relationships as second class. While this is a fairly steep climb, there is every reason to believe we can reach the mountaintop.

On Election Day in 2012, voters in three states — Maine, Minnesota, and Maryland — chose marriage equality. This is the first time we have won on this issue at the ballot box, due in large part to shifting public opinion. Last month, an ABC News-Washington Post poll showed that 58 percent of American voters support the freedom of same-sex couples to marry. The number is 81 percent for those under 30.

We have clearly reached a tipping point on this issue. Already, Illinois and New Jersey are poised to join the ranks of marriage equality states.

Today’s court ruling is sure to add to the momentum.

Moreover, this is no longer a partisan issue. The Supreme Court heard from 131 prominent Republicans who signed a friend-of-the-court brief in support of marriage equality. They included recent Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman and presidential candidate and former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman. The shift is even more noticeable among young Republicans. In 2007-08, 70 percent of Republicans age 18-29 opposed marriage equality. By March of this year, 40 percent of that group had moved to being supportive. Time is clearly on our side.

To be sure, marriage is not the only arena in which LGBT equality must be pursued. Health-care disparities, immigration equality for binational couples, the right of transgender people to live according to their gender identity, youth suicide and bullying — all of these are pressing issues we must address.

But we can now envision the day when homophobia will be a relic of the past.

There is still much work ahead, but while we pursue full equality, we also will enjoy another summer and fall full of weddings to attend. In fact, I predict a run on wedding halls, hotels and other venues, just as there was in 2008. I hope Robert has already confirmed the arrangements for our anniversary weekend celebration.

Atkins is Assembly majority leader. She represents the 78th Assembly District in San Diego.