Share This Story!

HIGGS: Enough with the highway rubbernecking at nothing

Elvis sang about it and American Dad did an entire show about it- Rubbernecking. But unlike previous examples which were about men looking at attractive woman, drivers seem to rubberneck at the most ridiculous things - not the 14 car pile up or flaming wreck on the highway, but the mundance such as a car with a boiling over radiator, a driver changing a tire and my favorite, some one on the shoulder of the parkway calling for roadside assistance on a cell phone. Stop it. Stop it now.

Elvis sang about it, American Dad did an entire show about it and unfortunately, too many drivers do it.

Rubbernecking is the title of the song and the topic of the animated comedy and one of the most annoying driving practices, short of parking your car in the left lane and leaving it there.

The song and the show were about men looking at attractive women. Rubbernecking on the highway used to be about people looking at a crash or flaming wreck on the side of the highway. Now, drivers seem to slow down and look at any vehicle on the shoulder of the highway stopping to reset the GPS.

Why is it bad? Consider this traffic report from last Wednesday7/16: a five-mile rubbernecking delay on the Garden State Parkway local and express roadways southbound from north of Exit 109 in Middletown to North of Exit 105 in Tinton Falls, resulting from a car fire. Traffic reporting agencies blamed rubbernecking for the delay. That back-up soon blossomed to an 8-mile delay from Holmdel to Exit 105.

When there is a vehicle fire or a major crash, a person could almost argue it's hard not to look. But is the five-second glimpse of what you might see really worth miles of stopped traffic sprawled across six lanes of local and express roadways?

Nowadays it seems any excursion of a vehicle to the shoulder of the road is an excuse to slow down and gawk and maybe take an iPhone photo. But think about what you're slowing down to see. Someone's kid answering the call of nature, maybe? Oh well, looks like you can't tweet that photo.

Other equally moronic reasons for slowing down to ogle that I've witnessed include an overheating vehicle complete with steaming radiator, the fender-bender with no visible damage (you're slowing down to see two people exchange paperwork!) and, my favorite, some poor soul changing a flat (at least pull over and offer to help if you're going that slow!).

But the worst example of rubbernecking for nothing was on the Parkway south in Union County when traffic slowed to the pace of molasses while people looked at a couple on the side of the road, out of their car calling for roadside assistance. I was one second way from biting the steering wheel in frustration.

Yes, I am the guy yelling out the window: "Keep going, there's nothing to see. You're looking at nothing." Before you decide that I'm a candidate for the Andy Bernard school of Anger Management, let me make the case for why this practice of slowing to gawk has to stop.

The most obvious one is safety. Rubbernecking means you're not looking at the road, most likely at the exact moment your eyes should be glued to the road. If traffic is slowing, it means it might suddenly stop, especially if something is really happening, which is an accident in your lane or one of the adjacent lanes. One short stop by the car ahead can mean a fender-bender. And now, they're rubbernecking at you.

Rubbernecking at nothing is worse, because drivers around you aren't expecting traffic to stop until they see the sequential brake light show coming at them.

Then there are the delays, which infuriate drivers more than whatever the initial incident. If you are that easily distracted, take the bus and play a game on your phone.

There is a difference between rubbernecking and paying attention to your surroundings.

Several winters ago I was driving to work on the Parkway South after a snowstorm — not enough snow to keep people at home that morning, but snowy enough for a slippery commute. A pretty new Mazda 3 whipped around me to pass in the fast lane as we did the cautious crawl. You know what happened next.

The Mazda spun out and clocked the Jersey barrier. I started to brake and the driver behind me laid on the horn. First, the Mazda's front bumper slid across my lane, followed by the rest of the car several seconds later. You're welcome. Paying attention saved both of our butts.

This is not to say we should rip past an accident scene as fast as Dale Earnhardt Jr., trying to take the checkered flag at Daytona. Laws to protect first responders, such as the Move-Over law, which requires drivers to slow down if they can't move over one lane, take precedence. So does the direction of police officers on the scene.

So to repeat for those who still might not get it: Paying attention good. Rubbernecking bad.