I never read into the choice of animal on anyone’s cake…unless it’s a narwhal stabbing a panda…I simply try to make them as cute as possible. However, I have thought hypothetically about what a cake animal choice might say about the recipient. This customer was inspired by an undoubtably cute card she found for a birthday, and it was up to me to turn it into a cake.

Hippos can easily be made cute, especially when wearing tutus and prancing around to Disney music. However, last I checked, they tend to be aggressive, territorial, and anti social, which aren’t traits you would want your child to present. Monkeys are also a favorite among parents. Although monkeys are closely related to humans from an evolutionary stand point, they also have a tendency to throw poo.

Birds in general I can’t complain too much about; in fact, I think a lot of birds are pretty amazing. All I can say is I find them a little strange and unpredictable at times, and they’re not very cuddly, but still cute…especially fluffy baby birds. I do draw the line at vultures, blue jays, mockingbirds, swans, emus, and sulpher-crested cockatoos. I probably just got off on the wrong foot with that one cockatoo, but he gave his species a bad rep in my book.

I could go on and on about what I think of animals, but instead, let me sum up with a couple of top 5 lists.

Here are my top 5 offensive animals for baby cakes:

5. Cats: Antisocial, self-centered, destroyers of things, skittish, apathetic, and they clean themselves with their tongues

4.Sheep: Although somewhat intelligent, the whole flock mentality sets the bar low for a child