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Herb Welch is an elderly news reporter for WXPD News, New York. He has a receding hairline that makes his forehead appear large, but his greying brown hair is long on the rest of his head. He always wears a mustard-colored suit with a white undershirt and black tie and large black glasses, and carries a microphone in his left hand at all times. He speaks in a deadpan tone at all times.

Herb Welch is a cantakerous, disrespectful, and somewhat senile old man, but is also shown to be pious; the January 29 appearance had news anchor Jack Rizzoli mention that he was fired from his anchoring job because of praying the rosary on the air, while the May 5 appearance showed him bearing ashes on his forehead. In spite of that, however, he is prone to being prejudiced, as seen in his misogynistic behavior towards co-anchor Wanda Ramirez, among others.

Herb Welch is always seen on the scene of a major event, where at Jack's prompting, he interviews the people nearby. He often cuts the story short by passing the baton back to Jack, who then tells him to proceed. His trademark is hitting the people he interviews in the face with his microphone, sometimes producing a second one in his right hand in the case that the person he interviews takes his first one to stop him from hitting them with it, and sometimes breaking the fourth wall to hit people with it. He spends several minutes interviewing the witnesses, doing a poor job and often going off-topic, while Jack and Wanda continually criticize him and try to point him back on track. Once the anchors' prodding has sufficiently provoked him, he approaches the camera and whacks the lens until the scene cuts away. Moments later, Jack receives a notice that "our own Herb Welch died five seconds ago." When the scene cuts to him, however, his body is shown unresponsive for only a few seconds before he jerks awake and begins taking some form of violent action.