The Sharpest Lives

Summary:
“So, there are real werewolves?” Bella asked. “With the full moon ad silver bullets and all that?”
Jacob snorted. “Real. Does that make me imaginary?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Full moon, yes,” Edward said. “Silver bullets, no – that was just another one of those myths to make humans feel like they had a sporting chance. There aren’t very many of them left. Caius has had them hunted into near extinction.” (Breaking Dawn 745)
You’re the one that I need, I’m the one that you loathe…
---JokesOnJane, you're AMAZING!!!1! Thanks for the banner!

Notes:
*All publicly recognizable characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer.
**All song lyrics in this story are from the album The Black Parade, by My Chemical Romance. The title of this story is also a title of a song from that album.

Sloan had obtained his "pimpin’" outfit, as he loved to call it now. Dressing like Emmett and saying things he wouldn’t normally get away with was a favorite pass-time. With his baseball cap worn sideways and the too large shorts hanging too low, he spent the entire morning coming up with catchphrases that Emmett was proud of. It wasn’t until lunch that Esme objected to his behavior.

She had served him a tuna sandwich along with apple-juice and some chips. Sloan thanked her and drank the apple-juice in one swallow, before she had even turned around.

"More, please!" he sang, waving his now empty cup around with a grin on his face.

"Not until you finish your sandwich, little man," Esme scolded, taking his cup and placing it out of his reach.

Sloan pouted but obeyed. The sandwich was easy for him to eat because, since becoming a werewolf, he found that he loved every kind of meat. Emmett and Edward entered the kitchen followed by Jasper. It was amusing for everyone to watch the way Sloan imitated Emmett. They only had to wait for him to speak.

Munching on the chips, Sloan’s eyes brightened impishly. Picking up a chip, he let everyone get a good look at it. "It looks like South Carolina!" he exclaimed, proud that he recognized the shape of the state. Sloan gloated in his knowledge for a moment before gobbling it up and licking his lips. "That’s what you get for seceding from the Union, bitches!"

Emmett was the first to buckle in laughter. Edward joined him, his laughing slightly quieter than his brother’s roar. Jasper was in total shock of Sloan’s words but slowly started to chuckle and then to guffaw. Esme wasn’t nearly as amused.

"What did you say?" she demanded, looking very disappointed.

Sloan could feel that he had done something wrong, though he wasn’t sure what it was. Looking down at his feet he mumbled an apology.

"I don’t want to hear you use that language again, understood?"

"Yes, ma’am," Sloan said with a groan, showing slight defiance but otherwise agreeing with Esme.

The rest of the day was filled with more mimicking and chasing woodland creatures. Sloan was happy to spend more time with Emmett, seeing as he wasn’t as scary as Sloan first anticipated. In all actuality, Emmett was very much like an overstuffed teddy-bear. Luckily, Emmett never seemed to tire of Sloan’s demands. They spent most of the day running and jumping and testing each other, Emmett being careful to let Sloan win these contests more than once for some confidence. After they ran out of rabbits and chipmunks to chase, and the deer were sufficiently frightened, Emmett and Sloan returned home. Waltzing in the front door, they interrupted another one of Edward’s piano sessions with Renesmee and Bella. Rosalie was sitting on the sofa, waiting for Emmett’s arrival.

With more noise than was necessary for a vampire, Emmett lowered himself onto the couch with a loud sigh. "I’m beat," he joked, wrapping an arm around Rosalie.

Sloan mirrored Emmett’s actions, sitting on the opposite side of Rosalie. "I’m beat." He struggled to get his short arm completely around her waist like Emmett had done, but managed to succeed.

Emmett raised an eyebrow.

Sloan raised an eyebrow.

Emmett frowned.

Sloan frowned.

"You have got to be kidding me," Emmett growled.

"You have got to be kidding me," Sloan said in the same irritated voice, putting a little too much emphasis in his sentence.

Renesmee giggled and bounced off of the piano bench lightly and moved towards Emmett. "What’s wrong, Emmett? You seem sad." She giggled again and crawled onto her aunt’s lap.

Emmett didn’t answer. Instead he glared at Sloan. Sloan glared back.

"He seems to be having an attitude, doesn’t he?" Rosalie cooed, patting his cheek.

"Mine, too!" Sloan shouted.

Smiling, Rosalie patted Sloan on the cheek as well.

Sloan grinned. "See? I’m just the same."

Emmett stuck out his tongue childishly. "You are not."

Sticking his tongue out, too, Sloan muttered, "You are not."

"Stop that!" Emmett demanded.

"Stop that!" Sloan echoed Emmett’s distress perfectly.

Now an audience was growing. Alice had left the kitchen where she was taking a turn fixing Sloan’s dinner under Esme’s watchful eye. Carlisle had wandered out of his study and down the stairs to see what the ruckus was and Jasper had come in from the porch. Emmett, being Emmett, refused to be defeated by this little boy with so many watching.

"You’re not getting the best of me," Emmett announced, folding his arms angrily.

Sloan also folded his arms. "You’re not getting the best of me!"

"You little twerp, after all that I’ve done for you today!"

Sloan winced, but the guilt wasn’t enough to make him quit his game. "You little twerp," he said with authority, "after all that I’ve done for you today!"

Emmett ground his teeth.

Sloan ground his teeth, too. But with more enthusiasm.

"You…" Emmett hissed, ending his sentence because he couldn’t think of an appropriate name to call Sloan.

"You…" Sloan couldn’t help but slide in a small laugh. This was so much fun.

"It wouldn’t be the same if Emmett wasn’t such a baby sometimes," a voice came from the doorway.

The group looked up to see that the shape-shifters had arrived after a long day of school. Leah was the first to enter, pushing passed her brother and Jacob. Renesmee leapt out of Rosalie’s lap and scuttled to Jacob in a hurry. He took her into his arms and asked her all about her day and the clothes she wore and exactly how much pink was too much pink.

Leah wasn’t at all surprised that Sloan would rather continue his game than greet her, so she made herself comfortable on the floor and watched. Seth made his way into the kitchen, eager to see what was on the menu tonight.

Emmett ignored what Leah had said about him and didn’t break off his stare. Sloan stared right back at Emmett, making this a secret staring contest. Little did Sloan realize, though, Emmett didn’t need to blink. He could stare indefinitely while Sloan’s moist eyes became more and more moist. Finally, after a long two minutes, Sloan broke off the staring contest with a series of furious blinks. He rubbed at his eyes.

"That really hurt," he grumbled. Suddenly, the game was over because Sloan had decided it so. To Emmett’s relief.

"Sorry, bud." Emmett reached over and ruffled Sloan’s hair playfully.

Sloan swatted at Emmett’s hand. "Yeah, yeah." Scrambling off the couch, he walked casually to Leah and plopped himself right in her lap, still rubbing his eyes.

She took his hands away from his face. "You really shouldn’t do that."

"But they’re so dry," Sloan objected, looking up at Leah.

"Hey…" Leah peered closely at Sloan’s eyes. It was then that she finally noticed the gradual fading of the white film. Now that his eyes weren’t as clouded, she could see the true color of his irises. "You’re eyes are blue!"

loan blinked. "Yeah. So?"

"They’re beautiful!" she squealed.

"Ew! Yuck! No they’re not!" Sloan cried, trying to worm his way out of Leah’s embrace. "Beautiful is for girls." He said the word like one would say a profanity.

"There is nothing wrong with having beautiful eyes, Sloan. Especially since yours are soooo blue." Leah finally let him go and Sloan ran around the room three times before taking a seat in front of her.

Sloan gasped, "No!" and shot off to the kitchen. He couldn’t quit make it before tripping over the shorts that had finally made their way down to his ankles.

"And get a belt while you’re at it!" Leah called after him.

When in the kitchen, Sloan and Seth held an eating contest. Sloan won, simply because Seth was half-way full already. After gloating over his victory, Sloan shifted into his werewolf form and made a few victory laps around the kitchen. Like the good sport that he was, Seth applauded and cheered. Finally, they made their way to the living room with the others.

Since the first night of shifting in front of a crowd, and after no one had thrown him into a river, Sloan was very comfortable with his werewolf form around the Cullen family and the pack. He would often change forms whenever it was convenient for him and when he wanted to test his limits as a werewolf. He discovered that he loved the moonlight, even though it felt strange. He also found out that, while a werewolf, he had bundles of energy just waiting to be used.

"I want to run around in billions of billions of circles!" Sloan exclaimed when he reached Leah.

"That’s a lot of circles," Leah commented. "But, it’s time for you to go to bed."

Sloan sat up on his haunches and yowled obnoxiously.

"Don’t give me that," Leah said sternly. "You were up all night last night and you’re probably exhausted.

"Probably. But I want to run in billions of billions of circles first." Sloan made the face he had rehearsed so much in the mirror. The wide eyes, the pouting lip, the relaxed ears. All of this had virtually no effect on Leah, even though she thought it was terribly cute.

"You. Bed. Now." She had brought it upon herself to act as the boy’s mother, seeing as she was the only one qualified. Which meant that his care was in her hands.

"Maybe only half a billions?" Sloan begged, rolling over on his back to show his vulnerable belly.

Leah stooped over and pulled the boy into her arms. She noted that he was gaining weight quickly. "No billions at all. When you wake up, but not right now."

Sloan made no effort to argue. As soon as he was snuggled close to the nape of Leah’s warm neck, he could feel sleep closing in around him. He was dozing off before Leah had made it even partially out of the room. Holding Sloan closer, she decided against taking him up to his temporary bedroom and sat down on the sofa instead. Seth was beside her in an instant, watching Sloan.

"Is he asleep yet?" he asked.

Leah shook her head. "He’s not really asleep until he phases back into his human form." She ran her fingers through his furry head as he slowly morphed into the little boy he really was. Leah snagged the couch throw and wrapped Sloan up in it, using it as a blanket.

Alice tsked in disapproval. "That’s no good. Do you want me to run up and get him a real blanket?"

"Sure." Leah’s smile was genuine.

Darting up the steps, Alice returned within seconds holding Sloan’s most used blanket as well as some clothes. After adjusting the way they fit on Sloan, Leah wrapped him up in the real blanket and hugged him close.

Seth gagged.

"Meeting Sloan might be the best thing that’s ever happened for you, and sure you’ve really changed for the better, but it makes me wanna puke." Seth turned to walk out, which was a mistake.

Taking the remote control, Leah chucked it across the room, aiming for her brother’s head. It hit its mark and Seth yelped.

"Take it back," Leah snarled.

Rubbing the back of his head, Seth muttered, "Fine, fine. You haven’t changed that much."

As he walked out Leah called, "You know that’s not what I meant!" She would have argued further, but she didn’t want to wake Sloan. Alice was darting around the room, rearranging the decorative pieces. She was trying to find the reason behind the trip on a plane that she, Jasper, and Sloan would take in about one week. For the past few days, Alice had focused strictly on scanning for a purpose.

She was in a daze as she straightened the picture frames. There was something looming in the future, something drastic and frightening. But no direct decision had been made yet, so she couldn’t place her finger on it.

What is it? What can be done?

Then it hit her. Like an avalanche, it crushed her psyche and enveloped her. The decision had been made. The Volturi would come.

"But why?"

Edward was sitting up straight on the piano bench, watching Alice’s face as she searched for answers. Since she and Jasper returned from Jenks’ office, they had kept completely silent about the vision Alice had seen. It was by default that Edward was let in on their little secret. There was no hiding her thoughts from Edward and Alice didn’t feel like lying to him about why she was scanning the future for reasons behind a mysterious plane-ride. Now that she received her answer, she wished she hadn’t.

"It’s not because of us. I think…it’s because of Sloan’s friends, Runt and Pivot. More specifically, because of who’s out to kill them. The Volturi have been searching for him for years, and Runt and Pivot have brought him out of hiding." Alice paused to scan the future before making one last announcement. "Naturally, they would like to visit us while they’re in the neighborhood."

"Who’s coming?" Bella chirped, turning her attention to Alice. She had heard most of the news, but wanted to be certain she had caught all of it. Carlisle and Esme were all ears and Jasper was by her side instantly.

"Jane, Demetri, and Felix." Alice fiddled with her fingers. "They’re all that Aro needs to send to catch…" casting a glance at Sloan, Alice lowered her voice, "…whoever’s chasing Runt and Pivot."