DOS and DON’TS of Making Your Facebook Page More Dateable (Just in Time for Valentine’s Day!)

Happy Valentine’s Day to all my fellow single ladies! I hope you're embracing it by getting totally decked out in hot pink and heart-shaped accessories, and preparing for a fun night out with friends.

But when you’re in the mood to explore your dating options, there’s an easy tool right in front of you that you might be ignoring: Facebook. The social media site is introducing a new program, Graph Search, which allows you to find people who share your interests and meet new people.

I was excited to be able to test out Graph, which I think I used exactly as intended (see my search in the blue box):

Just kidding. Although, which of my friends would marry all of One Direction? I never checked.

For advice on how to properly take advantage of the new program, I spoke with cyber dating expert Julie Spira, who has some great tips on how to use Facebook generally and Graph specifically to meet new people and make your page more friendly to finding great people already in your extended social network. Here are her tips:

DON’T neglect your status. Julie advises single people not to be shy about it and go ahead and make sure you change it to "Single" so people can find you. While some people, like me, might be hesitant to broadcast their status (especially in case of embarrassing changes), Julie says, “Why are you hiding? It’s really amazing real estate that’s not being used by somebody who is single. It’s probably one of the most powerful status updates on the site, so don’t hide.”

DO use the "People You May Know" feature. You probably have seen a few profiles highlighted on your page, but Julie says to make sure you click "See All" to view all your options. You might want to connect with some great people from your home town or a friend of someone that you trust on Facebook.

DO check out the new Facebook Graph Search. You can almost use Graph Search as your own personalized dating site. Julie herself used it recently when she her date to a concert fell through. She used Graph to search for “Single men in Los Angeles who like The Who", and was able to see which of her friends were into the band, so she could find a great guy to invite along. You can do the same to find friends of friends who might be into the same movies or sports as you. And of course, it’s not just for dating: Find friends who like similar authors and start a new book club.

DO say thank you publicly. According to Julie, the first thing you should do after connecting with a new person on Facebook is to post a note acknowledging the new online friendship on their page, saying something like, “So great to connect again!” It’s very social media friendly—other people will like the status, giving you a warm fuzzy feeling about connecting and showing that you're engaging and social media friendly.

DON’T forget to check their relationship status. If you come across a really cute friend of a friend who loves tacos, dogs, and hiking and you’re thinking he’s your perfect match don’t forget to make sure he’s single before you ask him which dog park he takes Fido to. Even if his status doesn’t say he's in a relationship, you might notice many photos of him in the arms of the same woman. In that case, Julie says to save your flirting skills for someone else who might be open to the possibilities.

DON’T go overboard. Julie says that a good way to take advantage of Graph Search is to start liking sites, bands, and other things that describe your personality so that people with the same interests can easily find you. A bad way, on the other hand, is to start liking every post by your digital crush, and commenting on every single one of his photos and check-ins. You can be friendly and engaging, but you won't want to appear like a stalker, Julie warns.

DO start the conversation offline, and continue online. If you’re not into meeting people through Facebook, Julie says that it’s still a good tool for the people you meet offline. After you’ve met in person, connect on Facebook to stay in touch. According to Julie, this develops an online bond to add some glue to your relationship or friendship. Some of the best relationships start as friends.

DON'T overshare. Julie advises not to be a Debbie Downer, posting every detail of the flu you've had (don't post tissue pictures, like I did!) or the bad date you went on last night. But on the other hand, don't come across as braggy about all the fabulous things you did, or start posting a million pictures of you and a new guy before you're even officially dating. You want to come across as positive, but not like it's all about you. This one is relevant for dating and for generally not being the person everyone blocks on Facebook!

What do you think about trying Graph Search? Would you use it to try to connect with single friends of people you already know? Have any of you ever met a new person through Facebook?