Rihanna Defends Working With Chris Brown

In a new interview with Ryan Seacrest, Rihanna defends collaborating with Chris Brown on the remix of “Birthday Cake” despite the fact he tried to cave her skull in and leave her for dead. Turns out selling a shit-ton of music makes you very easy to forgive, so everyone gather the kids around the monitor and let Rihanna teach you a lesson in succeeding in the music industry by treating attempted murder like a minor faux pas. Via RadarOnline:

She added that “despite everything else,” Brown’s the top selling R&B star in the world and a no-brainer to collaborate with on a professional level. (On the controversial dance hit, he sings to Rihanna, “Girl I wanna fuck you right now. Been a long time, I’ve been missing your body.”)
Brown, in turn, asked her to appear on the remix to his song, “Turn Up the Music” — “One for my fans, one for his fans,” she explained.
Subtly referring to the beating she endured at Brown’s hands — which he’s still on probation for — Rihanna said “there shouldn’t be a divide between my fans and his fans.“It’s music and it’s innocent.”

And Rihanna has a point. There’s something pure and innocent about a song where a young man sings about fucking and licking a birthday cake vagina after spending the past three years not even showing a shred of remorse and throwing goddamn chairs through windows when someone dare asks him if he feels sorry about beating an innocent woman to a bloody pulp then biting her when she tries to escape. Just typing all that transported me to a magical land of dreams and whimsy. What’s that, Mr. Unicorn? You want me to ride you into a field of flowers and clovers to dance with sugar fairies? Sure! But first let me choke a bitch out behind the leprechaun forest. Oh, what fun we have! Wheeeeee!