Hey reader, what are you
doing Saturday night? Wasting your paycheck at the bars
of downtown Buffalo in a vain attempt to pick up STD-ridden
floozies? How about something new, something you’ve never
done before? How about going to the Market Arcade Cinema
on Main St. at 7pm to see the premier of "The Best
of the Five Minute Video Series," a collection of clips
from your favorite public access TV program, "The Five
Minute Video Series." This event marks the one-year
anniversary of the show, brainchild of Richard Wicka, 15-year
veteran of public access here in Buffalo. In the past year,
"The Five Minute Video Series" has given 225 people
just that, a five-minute forum to do and say whatever they
please. Of those 225, the best 25 have been voted on and
selected for this big-screen cinematic debut.

The series began as all great
things do, in a moment of spontaneous, porch front realization.
A friend was visiting, who had a penchant for tangential
chatter which resulted in a lot of unfinished conversational
threads. Wicka grabbed a clock and his video camera, set
the two up on the porch and told his friend it was him,
the camera, and five minutes. Nothing else. When he showed
the clip to friends, they wanted their own five minutes.
That snowballed into the television show, which in the intervening
year has garnered a worldwide audience, thanks to the internet.
Now The Five Minute Video Series is broadcast not only here
in Buffalo, but in Monterey, California and Auckland, New
Zealand.

The clips presented in The
Five Minute Video Series run the gamut from funny to warm,
from moving to off the wall, and are held together by a
kind of unrehearsed spontaneity, which inevitably leads
to some truth peeking out from time to time that in any
other situation would have fallen victim to a corporate
cutting room butcher block.

If you want to be a part of
this event you’d better get off your ass, because there
are only 320 seats available. Tickets are five dollars each
and can be purchased in advance by e-mailing para@adelphia.net,
or at the door the night of the show. As an added bonus,
after the showing you can meet your favorite five-minute
artist in the lobby, and probably talk Mr. Wicka into doing
your own five minutes if you are so inclined. You owe yourself
this look into untamed, unscripted human nature (not like
that "Survivor" bullshit) and, even more so, you
owe it to the loyal "Five Minute" fans of New
Zealand, who would gladly give up their sheep and their
pseudo-Australian accents to be at this premier. Or you
could just go ahead with your STD-gathering experiment,
getting your shallow and poorly thought-out kicks behind
some dumpster downtown before collapsing in a pile of your
own (you hope) vomit, dick in the wind, wishing you had
heeded my advice and actually done something useful with
your life

Broadway Joes …Fat Ellis,
Jamie Notarthomas, 8pm / UB Jam Club presents JAM NIGHT. Great…some
bullshit "jam night" every fucking goddamn week.
As if "jam bands" weren’t played out enough as it
is. Give us one good reason to come down to this fucking thing…