Here's more: Again, to grease the rod, to squash the bug, to shake hands with your penis, to squeeze the eclair, to fuck oneself, to awaken the slumbering giant, to flick the dick, to practice ju-dick-su, to train oneself in kung-penis, to play one's oboe, to rob the sperm bank, as well as take out a loan from one's sperm bank, to make your elephant laugh so hard that he squirts milk through his trunk, to shoot the shit, to cockadoodledoo, to make your worm sneeze, to visit the fountain of youth, to take a trip to Mexico with only one pair of underwear, to spray the butter, to spray the Cool-Whip, to get your "smack" on, to pump the hydrant, to evacuate one's testicles, to question the Mauve Avenger, to do the math, to calculate pi, to pleasure oneself manually, to practice stick-shift, to open the stairway to heaven, to save the whale, to squirt the mayonnaise, to attempt to reach orgasm in solitude (although not always), to climb/hike up pleasure mountain,to slap the Puerto Rican, to pour the salad dressing, to give an angel its wing, to kill a mockingbird. And there are still more to come (pun intended)!

For guys only; If you want a really good orgasm quickly, then go into the bathroom, sit on the toilet, and cover the shaft of your penis with toilet paper. Move the toilet paper up and down, while pressing hard on your penis. The orgasm leaves you breathless, and I shot sperm about a foot and a half. FEELS GOOD.

Damn, I used to toilet paper to masturbate, and I think I was in heavon-on-earth.

1) The most pleasurable thing in the entire universe
2)What you do when you're bored and have nothing to do
3)Why Playboys exist
4)To rub or agitate the clitoris, pussy, balls, dick, etc., to gain sexual pleasure
5)Why teenage pregnancies are less frequent
6)What I did before writing this; I got horny reading some of these definitions. By the way, very good material for getting horny. Look up Orgasm, Cum, and Fuck. Very nice ones.

1)Even having 3 orgasms, a blow job, and at least 4 cups of cum go down my throat when i fucked my boyfriend last Friday was not as good as when i masturbate.
2)Hm...... I'm bored. Hey, I know!!! I'll get my old electric toothbrush and masturbate to orgasm. What channel should i put my TV on?
3)I went to the store on the corner and got a Playboy. Now let's masturbate!!!!
4)The year is 1985. I had heard that fuck meant to have sex, and middle finger meant fuck, too. So, I tried combining them!!! I call it, MASTURBATE, or MASTURBATION. I'm sure it'll become popular.

5)Girl 1:With my vibrator, i can masturbate all i want and i can have all the pleasure i want, and i won't get pregnant!!!

Girl 2: But don't you want a baby? I mean, you're already 22.

Girl 1: Hell no!!!!!!!
6)No example, but if you get horny and masturbate to climax.... your welcome.

To touch oneself until an orgasm is reached.
Males grab their cock and stroke.
Females finger themselves, or use a dildo, or vibrator, or a hot dog...
We all do it, don't deny it.

Bob had to masturbate all the time because he was too creepy to get laid.
Jane would rather masturbate, because she can't risk getting a bun in her oven. Although, she's had her eye on Bob for a while...

when one touches themselves on thier pussy or dick so that they reach a state of pleasure such as an orgasm.

pretty much every1 does it even if they're too ashamed to even admit it to themselves. its ok ppl its totally normal!!!!!

i do it whenevr i feel horny or if im alone at home! its great!

every1 knows how to orgasm unless they're idiots so i'll just say how i do it.

first off im a girl so this is based 4 girls but it works for guys in a diff way i guess if you really need a fast way to masturbate

i go on to urban dictionary and find some definitions under sex or horny or sex story. those are all good defs if u know what i mean.... :)

then while i read them i usually rub my crotch against my bed for a while untill i feel really wet then when i need it more than anything i take a really firm pillow and put it right by my clit and vag and pump up against it while i read. i reach this awesome feeling and then i stop and take a break for awhile.