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9th Annual Inaugural April Fool’s Day Open to Raise Awareness Frequently Asked Questions

Please see below for all the questions we have received at least once. In the case of this event, once = frequently. If you see a question that is not addressed, please scroll through Cheese is Funny to see if we’ve hit it in years past. If not, or you just don’t have time (like you’re just tooooo busy to laugh and laugh…) feel free to post your query in the “reply” space below.

Q: Why is it important to fill out the registration form? I said I was coming on The FaceBooks. A: Hundreds of people say they are coming on The FaceBooks just to witness the witty banter that happens pre-AFDO. By filling out the registration form, you not only let us know that you are planning on attending or spectating, but also, whether or not you have a playing partner. Plus, your answers help us design your personalized gift package.

Q: Is there a rain plan? A: Yes. We plan for it not to rain.

Q: Yeah, but, for cereal…what if it rains. A: We’ll back up and punt. It is going to be 70 degrees. We may play in the rain. We may wait it out. We may head directly to TalkSoftly Tavern, have our awards presentation there, then adjourn to Good Intentions for a Jello Shot Wrestling Party. We may defer to alternate plans for a day drinking event (ie bar crawl, bar golf, golf crawl, etc). But, really…it’s not going to rain.

Q: Do we need golf clubs? A: Yes. Although not golf, this is a golf-like event. Bring the clubs you would usually use for par 3. At the very least bring a short iron and a putter. Also, bring your own golf balls.

Q: I’ve heard rumors that Miley Cyrus is going to make an appearance for the New Flash Mob Twerking Hole. True? A: Yes

Q: Will I need to learn how to twerk before Saturday? A: At least figure out how to fake it.

Q: Can we have beer? A: Bur-Mil does not allow outside alcohol. Please buy your beer from Bur-Mil. (However, we always buy them out before noon…you may want to bring some cans of something with you…no bottles).

Q: What is the deal with the costumes? A: I have no idea. We’ve never said anything about wearing costumes. It just kind of happened. Costumes aren’t required, but you are more likely to win a semi-intrinsically valuable prize if you look a little silly. Most participants at least wear a funny hat or shirt or something.

Q: I know that Kenny L, one of the Rules Committee members, was recently shunned due to too many slippery eel references. What does that even mean? A: Please know that Shunning is not to punish, but to show the errors of one’s ways. In this case, please do not look at or speak to Kenny L. If it is absolutely necessary to communicate with him, write the message on a note and staple it to the top of his right foot (that’s the lucky one). If you do not have a staple one will be provided for you.

Q: I would like to apply for the sweet, sweet role of Caddy Chairmanship next year. A: We’re sorry, we have already appointed Ben Owen Caddy Chairman for Life. So, that role is filled for the next couple years, probably.

Q: I forgot to call Caddy Chairman for Life, Ben Owen, and request a caddy. A: It’s not too late. Caddy Chairman for Life, Ben Owen, will be fulfilling requests up until 10:36 Saturday a.m. Caddy requests must be made by phone, smoke signal or carrier pigeon. Just because you saw Ben in a bar and asked for a caddy, don’t expect him to remember that.

Q: That reminds me, what time do I need to be there? A: Kick off is High Noon O’Clock, just like always. So please be at the course by 11:32 in order to sign in, receive your personalized gift package, rules, and pairings info.

Q: This event does so much good and raises so much awareness. Have you considered choosing a cause? A: You’re not allowed to ask any more questions.