The Delicate Truth: Children and Divorce

At Scott Levine Family Law, we concentrate in family related issues. As we all know, divorce is a very difficult time for everyone involved, and this is especially true if children fall into this equation. No matter the age of your child, the divorce will affect them in some way or another. There are some important things to keep in mind during the divorce process if there are children:

1. Don’t involve your child
You must keep your feelings about your ex-spouse to yourself. If you feel negatively towards your ex, don’t share those feelings with your child. We understand that there are certain infrequent situations where your child can be in danger in the presence of your ex, but it should be your number one priority to help your child feel safe and loved as their home situation changes.

2. Don’t stay married for the sake of your child’s happiness
As a parent, you want nothing more than to give your child the world, especially a life without pain, but an unhappy marriage isn’t on that list. Your child might not like the idea of their parents splitting up, but it’s imperative to explain the benefits of the divorce and that he or she is still very much loved despite the separation. If you stay in your relationship to keep your child happy, you might be causing more harm than good. Keep in mind that children notice everything, no matter how young they are, and they model their lives and actions after what they’ve seen growing up. If you stay together for the child, but are cold, distant and angry towards each other, that will be imprinted in your child as a “normal” marriage dynamic.

3. Be as transparent as possible
It’s important to keep your child in the loop of your divorce, in the most unbiased and matter-of-fact way possible. If your child is asking, let them know what is going on without talking down your spouse. Also, if your child seems to be having a hard time coping with the divorce do everything in your power to help them feel comfortable. Communication is the key to unlock any troubles your child might be having during this time. As long as you’re putting your child’s feelings first, you shouldn’t run into any problems. If you’re struggling handling your child and the divorce process, don’t hesitate to contact our office. Our mission is to make this process as comfortable as possible for your family.