In July 2009, our beautiful son Adam was diagnosed with high-risk neuroblastoma, an aggressive children's cancer. Despite four years of treatment in the UK, Germany, and America, Adam sadly passed away on 11th July 2013 at home with his family. Visit Adam's Appeal at http://adamsappeal.org.

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Adam has gone off to play crazy golf this afternoon. Again. We had a trip to Devon at the weekend to visit Ryan, and on Sunday drove to Teignmouth where we enjoyed a very friendly, non-competitive, round of crazy golf. Which I won - whilst also notching up two holes-in-one in the process. Afterwards the kids decided to have a game of chicken with the incoming tide. Adam pushed his luck a little too far, ending up soaked from the waist down, and spending the journey back to Exeter in his underpants. Jake was away on a cricket trip, but Adam, Jess & Ryan had a great weekend. X-box, park, football, waves, crazy golf, power rangers, bouncy castle, Come Dine with Jess & Adam (after Ryan had gone to bed). Considering Ryan had only finished chemo on the Friday he was full of beans. It's great to see them all getting along so well. We've been meaning to get down to visit Family Edwards for ages - they've been to Epsom several times now, both en-route to Greifswald for immunotherapy and a few weeks ago for a weekend trip. But with both Ryan and Adam on chemo, and Jake having football tournaments, club cricket or school cricket this was the first opportunity we've had to pay a reciprocal visit. The journey back home was rubbish, problems on the A30, problems on the A303, problems on the M3. The only good thing to come of this was I missed most of the football.

Yesterday Adam and him Mum took a trip to Wimbledon to do a spot of shopping, and today Adam was up at the Marsden for an MIBG injection. MRI scan is tomorrow at 9, MIBG at 11. Results at the end of the week. Pointless dwelling on what might be. Tomorrow is Wednesday, another day in the life …

Friday, 22 June 2012

Adam's biggest problem at the moment is boredom. "Dad, you have to work and Mum is always busy with things to do. And I don't like playing on my own." It's a tough one. The solution next week will hopefully be for Adam to attend school for the first time in a long time. Unfortunately, Tuesday and Wednesday are already ruled out in that regard because of MIBG injection on Tuesday (which will make him radioactive), and MRI scan followed by MIBG scan on Wednesday. I suppose we'll muddle through as best we can, same as we have been these past years. How quickly things change; not so long ago Adam was attending school regularly, cricket on Friday nights. And then bang, back in the fight, chemo in, cricket out, side-effect management instead of schooling. Then again we don't really reflect or dwell on such things, we simply get on with it. Just as well, it'd probably send us insane otherwise.

We're hoping to see little Ryan this weekend. And Julie & Gareth of course. They're currently fundraising to take Ryan to Tuebingen for a haploidentical transplant - you can catch up with their appeal here. Adam and Ryan get on so well, have done since they first got together out in Germany. Ryan is just 5-years-old, and although he is a little boy through-and-through full of playful cheek, he's amazingly grown-up at the same time.

Here's a photo of the two of them 'sharing a moment' during antibody therapy out in Germany.

Thursday, 21 June 2012

It's not all doom and gloom. Adam's had a good day. His diarrhoea seems to have passed given the toilet inspection I conducted earlier. Eating has been better today; back to porridge for breakfast, and finished his tea without needing very much encouragement. Blood counts are low, though still well above the levels at which transfusions are required. This should be the low point of the cycle, so we hope to see an upturn from here.

Despite the variable (rubbish) weather, Adam and his Mum went to Chessington for a few hours today. Put Adam in good spirits, gave Jessica the right hump, "How come Adam gets to go to Chessington whilst I'm stuck in school DOING A TEST?" The two of them spent the evening playing Club Penguin, and then Adam went back into his cabin bed for the first time since his portacath was inserted over a month ago. We shall see what kind of night he has ...

Adam was a little late to bed last night so he slept in and woke up after both Jake and Jessica had gone to school. Usually he's pretty pissed off when this happens, but this morning he's in good spirits despite the fact. We finished the second round of chemotherapy last week and, as with the first, Adam tolerated it well. Aside from some nausea - he does this thing where he feels 'a little sick' and has to spend up to half-an-hour with his head over a bowl spitting saliva into it - he was very well. His eating was more-or-less normal.

He's experienced a few more adverse effects this week. More nausea during the earlier part of the week, though sick just once, mild diarrhoea that is only now beginning to resolve itself, and the odd bout of stomach cramps which is probably the most unpleasant of all. His appetite has been on the wain, but we're hoping this will pick up towards the end of the week, following a similar pattern to the first round.

Next week we have MIBG and MRI scans to see what effect, if any, the two rounds of chemo has had on Adam's disease progression. To say we really need this to have done some good is a colossal understatement.

Sunday, 17 June 2012

Today has been one of those days. It wasn't a particularly extraordinary day. Sure it was Father's day, but to be honest we've never been a family that makes a huge fuss over such occasions. Whilst Alison took Jake to play cricket, I went with Adam and Jess to their school's summer fair. On one hand it was nice to be there, watching the kids having fun, enjoying some good weather for a change. And on the other I couldn't really have cared less. I looked around and saw faces of people I knew, people I haven't spoken to for a long time, people who have done a lot for our family, and the only thing that went through my head was a desire not to talk to any of them. My life is so consumed by Adam's illness, it dominates thoughts almost every minute of every day; sometimes it simply becomes the last thing on earth I want to talk about. Particularly with people who cannot know the hellishness of our situation. It doesn't matter what else comes up in conversation, Adam inevitably will. And on days like today it's all too much, so the only thing to do is hide away from the world and let it pass. A bit hard when you're in the middle of a school fair, so instead I just found a bench, parked myself on it … and sat. If you saw me today and thought I was being rather unsociable then I'm sorry, but sometimes needs must. Most times I'm more than happy to talk about Adam; it's nice for people to ask how he's doing, how we're all doing. And then there are days, rare though they are, like today.

As for Adamski himself, he's doing okay, all things considered. I'll put together a proper update in the next couple of days, when I'm ready to talk about him again …