Out of the psych ward...

So...I was really down. Somewhat suicidal. But I had a bad asthma flareup that landed me in the ER and on a nebulizer for 1.5hrs, then they gave me prednisone and a large dose taper to start at home immediately. I'm bipolar. It made me severely manic, hallucinate, etc. I spent Christmas in a psych ward. Got out today, came home, place was a wreck. I have a roommate. He didn't clean anything, just messed everything up, let trash pile up, didn't clean the litter box though he promised he would, so the cat peed everywhere.
I gave him his christmas presents. He gave me nothing cause he spent all his money on himself.
I got no calls, nothing from anyone for christmas.
My friend invited me out for dinner tonight, I turned her down. I can't stand to be around anyone. I just want to die. I know how to do it, have to materials. I'm just so, so fed up. Up, down, up down. Mostly down these days. I'm so done.

So...I was really down. Somewhat suicidal. But I had a bad asthma flareup that landed me in the ER and on a nebulizer for 1.5hrs, then they gave me prednisone and a large dose taper to start at home immediately. I'm bipolar. It made me severely manic, hallucinate, etc. I spent Christmas in a psych ward. Got out today, came home, place was a wreck. I have a roommate. He didn't clean anything, just messed everything up, let trash pile up, didn't clean the litter box though he promised he would, so the cat peed everywhere.
I gave him his christmas presents. He gave me nothing cause he spent all his money on himself.
I got no calls, nothing from anyone for christmas.
My friend invited me out for dinner tonight, I turned her down. I can't stand to be around anyone. I just want to die. I know how to do it, have to materials. I'm just so, so fed up. Up, down, up down. Mostly down these days. I'm so done.

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I am sorry, I am sorry that you are so down, I feel that you have some good reason for being down and depressed but we do not want to see you hurt yourself or leave this imperfect world we live in. It is imperfect because that is how humans are, each one of us!
I would like you to know that everyone in here has felt like you feel. or even right now is Feeling the same things that you are. We are alone by choice but we don't want to be, we (some) feel that we are not fit to be or have some company with others, others of us might feel others are not fit to be company for us, whichever and whoever we are we seem not to fit with others for one reason or another. One of the biggest issues we all seem to have is Depression, when we are depressed we tend to avoid others, we tend to want to be alone. this is due in great part because of the chemicals our bodies produce that distorts or thinking and our feelings plus we may act a little off, we may be sleeping a lot, we may not be sleeping enough. We are acting different we Feel Different, nothing makes sense, then the coup de gras, we start to tell people that we want to die or we are going to commit suicide. That really changes everyone's attitude towards us we become unwelcome, people avoid us people don't see us or see us as different or weak or really out of it!, The Truth is we are out of it we do need help but we do not know how to ask for it because we are afraid of IT ourselves. We in this Forum understand how you feel we know those feelings that overwhelm you! We have experienced them or we continue to go through them, we are not perfect we are just like you! We are here for you! We do not want you to take that Final Step that takes all of others choices we may possibly make out of our hands, please do not make that Fatal Act, it is final you cannot change your mind or have a do over. Talk to us here, we may not have all of the answers you want or need but we have alternatives. and we will
not judge you, we will listen we will talk with you we will share our stories, we will tell you possibly things that you do not know! We will try to help you we care for you we will try to support you when you need, help you. when you ask for it, This is now your Forum too, Please Keep posting here keep sharing with us, listen to what we have to say read what some of us have written, we wont turn our backs on you, we won't walk away, You are the reason that we are here! Extend your hands to us we will help when and how we are able we want you with us Here!

A lot of people cannot tolerate prednisone, once it made me extremely manic and I am not even bipolar. It affects everyone differently. Please don't harm yourself, it could be your medications making you feel this way, don't make any big decision while on something and never ever suicide. Get professional assistance and advice a.s.a.p.

So...I was really down. Somewhat suicidal. But I had a bad asthma flareup that landed me in the ER and on a nebulizer for 1.5hrs, then they gave me prednisone and a large dose taper to start at home immediately. I'm bipolar. It made me severely manic, hallucinate, etc. I spent Christmas in a psych ward. Got out today, came home, place was a wreck. I have a roommate. He didn't clean anything, just messed everything up, let trash pile up, didn't clean the litter box though he promised he would, so the cat peed everywhere.
I gave him his christmas presents. He gave me nothing cause he spent all his money on himself.
I got no calls, nothing from anyone for christmas.
My friend invited me out for dinner tonight, I turned her down. I can't stand to be around anyone. I just want to die. I know how to do it, have to materials. I'm just so, so fed up. Up, down, up down. Mostly down these days. I'm so done.

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I know this isn't much help, but I'm really sorry for all that you went through so much like you did. I hope things turn around soon.