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Thanksgiving is almost here…

Good Monday! How was your weekend? I started Monday morning in my favorite way: Dexter on DVR. I just love waking up to my sexy serial killer boyfriend.

We are recovering from round two of the stomach flu. Thankfully, this one was through pretty quick. Three of us were down the first time, and two the second time. That leaves three still standing strong, and I sure hope it stays that way. Especially with the upcoming holiday.

This entire short week will be devoted to prepping for Thanksgiving. There are dishes to prepare, clothes to pack, and gifts to wrap. But the biggest preparations for me are the mental ones.

This is the first year that we will spend the holiday with both of our families. First, we will celebrate with Hubby’s family and then pack the car to head out of state for the weekend. Hubby is not thrilled that we will spend the entire weekend travelling, but I am really excited to be with my family.

Our two families could not be any more different. Mine tends toward physical distance; his is all kisses and hugs. Mine is more emotionally closed; his is sappy and tearful.

Hubby’s family always seems to find the silver lining; mine….not so much. Hubby was raised by a single mother; I grew up in a “Beaver Cleaver” family that maybe really wasn’t. Hubby’s family takes turns speaking at the dinner table; mine carries on simultaneous conversations.

Years ago, I wanted to scream everytime we left MIL’s house. With eight of us and seven of them, the number of hugs and kisses goodbye are exponential. “Can’t we just wave and be done with it?” I wondered.

I know I am not the only one who is going to navigate some tricky family situations this holiday season. So how to deal?

First, I’m going to embrace the fact that I am no longer the insecure, doubtful young girl that I once was. It took me a very long time to find my path in life, and I made some big missteps along the way. But I am here now. I am a slacker wife, a crazed mother, and a good person….with a lot of annoying quirks and hidden anger issues.

I will be kind and warm, and I will expect the same in return. I will embrace the positive, and I will not tolerate the negative. I will laugh and smile.

I will be proud of the woman that I am. I will not allow myself to be judged by anyone. I am strong. I am self-aware. I know that I have anxiety issues. I know that I talk too much to cover my insecurities. I know that I draw attention to myself when all I secretly want to do is go unnoticed. This is who I am, and I cannot change your opinion of me. I will continue to grow, but this is as far as I have gotten for now. Take it or leave it.

I will allow myself to hide behind my emotional walls when insecurity and anxiety threaten, and I will give myself permission to tear down those same walls when they are unnecessary. I will not allow myself to feel judgment where none exists.

I will enjoy my Hobbits, and I will squeeze my neices and nephews. I will snuggle the new babies and be glad those days are behind me.

I will be a part of two families. Two very different families who love me in very different ways. And I will come home with my own Hobbits to continue building a third family…another unique family built upon the good and the bad that I have learned along the way.