Is this good... or bad?

Of course, when I would think about what happened it caused intense pain, nightmares, etc to the point that I usually became suicidal or self mutilated... now, when I think about it.. i stop thinking... my brain kind of shuts itself down. It's a change.. but is it good or bad? it's obviously a defense mechanism- one that was not conscious- but does this mean i'm repressing instead of dealing?

I'm going through the same thing right now. I'm looking at it as a kind of vacation. For the last few weeks I have felt really overwhelmed and confused. I think I over-loaded my system. It seems like a good chance to step back and look at what I've learned, without all the deep emotions clouding the issues. I don't know if it is good or bad,trying to see it as a positive.
Wishing You the Best! Aurenna

I think Brannewdreams repressed the memory of having posted... just kidding. Bulletin boards do weird things sometimes. :-)

I'm no doctor, but it doesn't sound like repressing, for the simple reason you ARE thinking about the event. If you were repressing it, you wouldn't remember it, right? I'm not positive about my understanding of that terminology.

Anyway, does it FEEL good or bad? Does it feel like a relief to not feel compelled to cause yourself more pain when you remember? If so, then I say it's good! I like Aurenna's idea, that it's like a vacation from the strong emotions.

What we're striving to do is to view our traumatic events with the left brain (logical, straightforward) instead of the right brain (emotions, instinctive reactions). &quot;Regular&quot; memories are viewed in a left-brain manner... what you wore yesterday, what you ate for breakfast. We're trying to be able to remember the traumas that way... as things in the past that no longer cause pain in the present. Maybe you're seeing that place for the first time. If it feels good, try to congratulate yourself to encourage your mind to establish THIS as its new reaction.

I wish you well. That's a hard place to get to. I still fall out of that place sometimes, but it's becoming easier to stay there.

how does it feel? it feels unsafe. it feels like if i move past it then it will happen again. it feels like it's too early to move past it. it feels.... wrong... i'm also bipolar, by the way, so i'm worried it may be a temporary dissociative episode and it will all come back full force. I still cry every night... but i'm not sure why because i can barely feel anything

oh, and it's not that i'm t hinking about anything logically... i think about it.. feel horrible pain.. then my brain stops thinking... i try to think and it's all fuzzy.. i can't focus on anything specific at all... i just can't think...

i think wistala makes an EXCELLENT point -- what we all strive for is to integrate the memories into who we are today, not to be ruled by them but to accept their place in our past and continue in our present unaffected by their existence.

there is a therapy modality that hinges on the idea of retelling yourself the event over and over until you are desensitized to it. moving through horrible pain to a place of your brain shutting off may be a positive step in your moving away from the intense emotions of the memory. this happened to me, too. and then later i was able to reapproach the memories with a new perspective.

there are steps in the healing process. your internal self knows what it needs. change happens on the subconscious level, so perhaps things are going on below your conscious awareness and the progress you are making will be revealed to you later, as it was for me.

healing is a long and winding road. but if we stay on it we do, eventually, get somewhere!

I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

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