These customs though important, are short ceremonies perfomed at the wedding reception either before dinner or at the end of the wedding, as this is mainly performed between the very close members of the family.

After the wedding dinner was concluded, the mudi shivnchen ceremony was performed. The bridegroom was made to stand in the matov and the bride’s mother presented him with a ring as a sign that she is his mother-in-law and henceforth he had to address her as “mai’ mother. The elder women of the bride’s family her aunts’ i.e. sisters, sisters-in-law and cousins of her mother were addressed by the groom as fagor mai and any distantly related woman could become his fagor mai if she presented him with a ring. More importantly the woman were expected to give their blessings to the groom as his fagor mai.

Now:

As I have seen for my son’s wedding, the bridegroom is made to stand in a prominent place in the reception hall and his mal dedho stands next to him with a handkerchief held open in both hands. The mother-in-law will bless the groom and present him with the ring. The other fagor mais i.e. the brides aunts, etc. will come forward to bless the groom and put some cash into the handkerchief held by the mal dedho (bestman). This money goes to the bestmen who celebrate later with the money collected.

The following song is appropriately sung or played for the Mudi Shivnchen ceremony.

The following video of Maxim and Melita’s wedding (Youtube) depicts the customs in detail and in a very clear format, thanks to the MC who has done a great job in explaining each step clearly and the videographer who has captured the important and solemn moments.

STEP 15 – OPSUN DIVNCHEN – The solemn transferment of the bride to the bridegrooms family

Then:

Once the presentation of rings was completed (at the bride’s house) the bridegroom takes the bride to his house in procession with the band playing. Relatives of the bride also accompany the bride. When the procession reaches the matov the Laudateis sung. Then the solemn opsun divnchen ceremony is performed and here the bridegroom is not present.

The father of the bride or an older Uncle alongwith his closest relatives steps forward and takes the hand of his daughter and presents her formally to the bridegroom’s father and his family with the typical proclamation as follows (which is in english the konkani translation of which is in the above video :-

“Up to this time we have loved this girl. Today we hand her over to you in the hope that you will love her in the same measure”.

The bridegrooms father or an elder Uncle, takes the hand of the bride while giving an appropriate reply which is something like :

“We are happy to receive your daughter and will love her and take care of her even more than you have given her and will look after her just as our own daughter”.

The bride usually breaks into tears upon the realisation that she must now part from her near and dear ones in earnest. The women break into the parting song which brings everyone present to tears.

The bridegrooms mother then takes the bride by the hand and leads her into the house, accompanied by other women. While the bride steps over the threshold she must do so with her right foot.

Now:

Various Opsun Divnche scenes above.

In the wedding hall, after the Mudi Shivnchi ceremony the bride and groom are blessed by their parents and all elders of the family. Then the bride is brought forward and the Opsun Divnchen ceremony takes place as detailed above with the bride and her family breaking into tears.

When the bride reaches the bridegrooms house she is carried over the threshold by her husband.

YENI SAMMAN

In earlier times when weddings lasted for 8 to 10 days, the yeni samman i.e. the brides mothers’ dinner and the grooms mothers dinner took place after the porthapon and both the mothers gifted each other a saree. But since the duration of the weddings are now curtailed to 3 to 4 days, skipping the yeni dinners, the yeni saree is exchanged at the porthapon or at the wedding reception.

Yeni Kappad – My mother (L) and my mother-in-law (R)

The yeni saree gift exchange which was at the reception for my wedding 37 years ago.

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4 Comments

Pdssays:

Hello. Please let me know the porthopon customs and what else is required to be followed thereafter. All the other customs information given by you are really helpful. please help as we are planning for our son’s marriage. Thank you.

Dear Pds, Thank you for your interest. I am in the process of writing the post but had to postpone due to my travel. I hope to publish next week. If you require the information before that, do let me know. Regards, Cecilia

Thank you Cecelia for your prompt reply. It’s fine. Not in that much of a hurry though. Pl also mention if anything else needs to be done by the groom’s and bride’s families after that. Thank you. Really appreciate the effort you took to put all the information together. For mangaloreans like me who would like to follow the traditions, it’s a blessing. God bless you.