What happens when I'm drunk?

If you’re going out out, use our guide to make the most of alcohol’s social advantages while limiting its potentially melancholic consequences

1. Happy hour

If even the thought of that first sip makes you feel refreshed, you do not have a problem. Research published in Indiana University found that the anticipation of your initial quaff – as well as the actual event – raises levels of the feelgood hormone dopamine. Sadly for those with a busy day tomorrow, it’s that same buzz that convinces you to have ‘just one more’.

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2. Dutch courage

The confidence delivered by a few drinks is due to ethanol soaking through the stomach lining into your blood. Once it reaches the brain, according to Psychopharmacology, it disengages the amygdala and prefrontal cortex to afford you that sense of happy invincibility. Sipping bubbles? The extra pressure forces the alcohol into your blood faster – so if you plan on remembering the wedding, switch to wine ASAP.

3. Beer goggles

We’re not talking about your desire to deploy icebreakers at every opportunity. Instead, alcohol causes slower pupil dilation. In fact, one Western University study found it reduces your eyes’ ability to adjust vision by 30%, even below the legal drink-drive limit. If you’re suffering blurred lines – or channelling your inner Robin Thicke – it’s time to book an Uber.

4. Seal team

Three pints in, alcohol suppresses the release of anti-diuretic hormone (ADH), responsible for quelling your need to pee in the night. While a few drinks won’t end in a change of sheets, without the ADH dam in your kidneys, water floods your bladder to bursting. Swap to spirits: the alcohol still inhibits ADH but a reduced volume will ease the urgency.

5. Clean up crew

Once at your liver, booze is broken down by alcohol dehydrogenase and converted into harmless fatty acids, CO2 and water. Flood it, however, and an excess of the byproduct acetaldehyde leads to an almighty hangover. Your liver can process the equivalent of one pint per hour. Stick to this and see-off trouble in the battle against morning-after misery. We’ll drink to that.

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