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22.6.12

Letter #39: Pittsburgh and Dating

See, you're filled with hometown people. I, myself, am one of them. One of the 30-somethings that managed to carve out a decent career, and a decent way of life in the hills of their city. Whether it was on purpose, or by accident, or by sheer luck (both the good and the bad), we've settled here.

For the most part, we love it. We love being near family, love the museums, love the sports, love the location, the weather, love our neighborhoods and our quriky colloquialisms.

But sometimes, we need a little help. Or at least, this girl does.

See, Pittsburgh. What is the toughest about you sometimes, is the dating scene. One of your best/worst qualities is feeling like a small town. Everyone seems to know each other, can verify the status of a potential mate within a few degrees of common friends. It becomes easy to feel like you're running out of options.

Plus all of our oldest friends are married, and now they are producing babies, and they don't seem to have any single friends who would be suitable mates. So many people married high school classmates that it leaves the rest of us on the fringe. Just like in high school. And personally, I talk to about 3 people from high school on a regular basis. Two of whom are married and one who is a woman.

And don't get me on the number of students we incubate here. They're lovely and smart, friendly and appreciate this city with emotion but see its flaws just like we do. They're funny and cute. There is so much to share with them. But then, they're just students and are rarely (oh, so rarely) in the position to find themselves in the position of wanting a relationship.

So I'm taking a break from dating Pittsburgh. I've just run out of ideas. And I'm scared that by taking a break I may be resigning myself to thoughts of buying a cat and all that comes with being a librarian who owns a cat and lives alone. I just don't know where to go anymore. Church? Doubtful my match is lurking there. The bar? I don't like the social scene like I once did.

I'm just a little lost. And I need my space. But I'd like the worlds to collide here, Pittsburgh. And maybe I'll get lucky for real.

But in the meantime, we need some distance. I hope you respect that decision.