Organic Oreos? A chemist explains what 'organic' really means

What do toenail clippers, submarine hulls and waffle irons have in common?

None of the three is organic — yet.

Perplexed? Check this out: The word "organic" now appears prominently on some packages of Oreos and Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. No, I'm not making it up. It's not that any of these tasty delights, when eaten in moderation, is going to put you in an early grave, but if you think because the "magic word" now appears on the package that you will exist for one more healthy second on Earth, you are deluding yourself.

And you are not alone. Market research seems to have reached the conclusion that many people will simply not buy anything that is not organic. So, let's make everything organic!

The worship of things organic has reached the point where the following items are now part of an "SNL" skit: organic water, organic tampons and organic cat litter are all real and can be purchased online.

If this doesn't illustrate the level of madness that this "movement" has become, just wait a month or two. I'm betting that it will get worse, although, I can't imagine how at the moment.

Given the way the word organic is thrown about, I thought it might be interesting to examine where the term originated, how it morphed into food and consumer goods and, saving the best for last, a rather funny paradox, in which the term actually contradicts itself.

First, let's look at the origin of the word. In the 1700s, chemists coined a term that is surprisingly on target, even three centuries later. At that time, scientists believed that there were two types of substances — those that were found in, and derived from, living organisms, and those that were not. Thus, the original definition of the word organic is: "the condition of being ordered as a living being."

The 18th century chemists were not that far off. Carbon is the essence of life. Every life form, as well as the molecules that make life possible, contains carbon — for example, proteins, DNA/RNA and amino acids. Since that time, the meaning of organic has been expanded.

The modern definition of organic chemistry is: the branch of chemistry that encompasses the study of any chemical that contains the element carbon, regardless of its source. (There are a handful of exceptions, such as carbon dioxide, and sodium bicarbonate, which are considered to be inorganic.)

What do these have in common? Chemically, every one of them is organic. Which brings up an interesting paradox: Crops that are protected from insects by copper sulfate (not organic) are permitted by the U.S. Department of Agriculture to be called organic, while the same crop that is protected by neonicotinoids (organic) is not permitted to be called organic.

If you are any more confused than when you first read this, don't feel bad. That was sort of the point.

Josh Bloom is senior director of chemical and pharmaceutical sciences at the American Council on Science and Health.