Enjoy some of these classic articles from the Valley of the Geeks book. Includes some of our most famous (or is it infamous?) pieces such as the classic fake banner ads, advertising parodies, interviews, news releases and more. Check back for more satirical stories and articles regularly.

Charles Schwab & Co has managed to keep their nose clean while other brokerages were hit with conflict of interest scandals. But now even Co-CEO Charles Schwab has quit his own firm. Chuck, as he's known, has long been the underdog of individual investors. These days, he might benefit from a fresh start, too. More...

Do you ever find yourself reading the nutritional information at a fast food restaurant? Sometimes it feels like it's not fast and not even food. If there's truth in advertising, maybe McDonald's next campaign would look something like this... More...

Oracle today announced a new strategic agreement with US organized crime syndicate the Zamboni family of New York. "In this tough economic climate, we wanted a partner that would do 'whatever it takes' to be successful," said CEO Larry "the mouth" Ellison. "Believe me, these guys will do that and more." More...

A lot of people wonder exactly what a product manager actually does. I have product managers who work for me and I'm still wondering. People question: What's it like to hobnob with marketing gurus and industry execs at high falutin' conferences? Frankly, I've puzzled over this myself. More...

Microsoft today announced the resignation of CEO Steve Ballmer after just over two years in the top position. Ballmer will be be exiting the Microsoft executive suite to pursue a life-long dream of joining the rock group KISS. The announcement caused a flurry of activity on Wall Street this morning as investors unloaded Microsoft shares and bid up KISS paraphernalia on eBay. More...

Students, faculty and custodial staff at the New Jersey Institute of Technology and Monster Trucks announced that they created a new supercomputer powered by thousands of Apple computers, each with 2% market share. More...

We've all seen them. They're everywhere -in news releases, on shrink-wrapped products. You hear them at trade shows where they pile up like zeros in Bill Gates's bank account. They're the common technical and marketing terms used, misused, and abused in our industry. Now for the first time ever, a collection of software industry buzzword definitions. More...

Acknowledging signs that the slowing economy may be having a greater impact on business than previously reported, eCommerce auction giant eBay has announced plans to auction approximately 15% of employees worldwide. More...

We've seen the rise and fall of the Internet economy as measured with Nasdaq now trading at pre-bubble levels. And every day seems to bring more and more bad news. So what's an investor to do? Well, this ad we'd like to see is probably the best investment advice yet... More...

IT Consultancy GartnerGroup has announced a new, updated version of their "Magic Quadrant". The Gartner quadrant, debuted in 1620 when the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock and has been the hallmark of high-tech marketing ever since. More...

For most early stage high tech companies, getting the attention of a top notch Venture Capital firm can be harder than getting an audience with the Pope on Easter Sunday. Having exhausted the traditional sources of early stage financing (friends, relatives, looking under the couch seats for $1 million in loose change) they often look to Angel Investors. More...

The latest Harry Potter book has hit bookstores and is breaking records worldwide. But how long can author JK Rowling continue with Harry (and his readers) getting a year older with every new release? More...

Thirty years ago, Dr. Martin Cooper demonstrated the first portable cellular phone by calling a rival at Bell Labs. Dr. Cooper holds eight patents in the area of cellular communications and three in the area of small munitions. Dr. Cooper spoke to us from San Melvino Di Burpo, home of his latest company, AnnoyComm, about the history of cell phones and his rivalry with Bell Labs. More...

Following on Google's recent S2 filing for an initial public offering (IPO) the search firm has also indicated that they plan to change their name to "Goo,ooo,ooo,gle" in order to better represent the wealth of the founders and executives. More...

Our fake banner ads have been featured in publications around the world. Just when you thought it was safe to surf, here's another new collection of banner ads that put the truth back into high-tech advertising. More...

Advertising parodies have been around for decades and no one spoofed Madison Avenue better than the "usual gang of idiots" at Mad Magazine. So here's our tribute with yet another batch of original banner ads along with a couple of classics. More...

People are always wondering about Entrepreneurs. If they’re investors, mostly they wonder when they’ll see their money again. Silicon Valley has a rich history of celebrating Entrepreneurs dating back to when Hewlett-Packard was founded in a garage, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, because there was no room at the inn. Three wise men and two guys named Steve went boldly where no man had gone before bearing gifts of oscilloscopes, myrrh and forging one ring to rule them all, one ring to bind them, one ring to bring them all and make long distance calls for free. More...

In its latest action to stem product leaks, Apple Computer has announced a new improved First Amendment which uses exclusive Apple ShuffleRights technology. "Let's face it, no one really understands these so-called 'First Amendment' rights," said CEO Steve Jobs. More...

Ben Curtis, also known as Steven the Dell "dude" managed to irritate a nation with his goofy antics in commercials. Unfortunately, Curtis got busted recently for buying a dime bag of pot in New York city. While most people predict this is the end of his advertising career, I believe this could be the big break Curtis needs to get to Hollywood... More...

Did you ever notice how every CEO and technology titan dresses the same? I mean, sure, Steve Jobs did the turtleneck thing before anyone else. But now it looks like everyone is wearing the same khakis, white shirt or mock turtleneck. Is it because they are all on each other's boards? Is it something in the water? Or more likely, they all shop at the same online web site... More...

Recently, Microsoft settled a consumer class-action lawsuit alleging that the company used its monopoly position to overcharge consumers for software. The company agreed to pay out as much as $1.1 billion in vouchers allowing consumers to buy hardware and software products. What if other companies settled complaints by issuing vouchers? More...

The Got Milk campaign has been one of the longest and most successful branding campaigns around. Bands from Aeorosmith to Kiss have been featured. But rock stars and milk? I mean, how believable is that. Maybe if it was really getting into the rock circuit we'd see something more like this ad... More...

Do cell phones cause cancer? Who knows. But if they do, you know the cell phone companies and wireless carriers will figure out a way to use that in their latest advertising campaigns. Can anytime any tumor minutes be far off? More...

Ever wonder what kind of credit card Scott Sullivan, former CFO at WorldCom carries? On the other hand, with $45 million in profits on WorldCom stock, maybe Scott needs a bail bond card more than he needs a credit card. More...

To help those who have not yet completed their taxes, the IRS has create a list of last minute questions and answers. It may not reduce the amount of tax you pay or the length of your jail sentence, but it will take your mind off a pending audit. More...

At the Recent Palm Developer's Conference ("What, us worry?") Palm rocked the high tech world with the resignation of their CEO David Nagel and a new branding strategy based on selling the Palm name back to themselves. More...

I recently met with Frank Brain, CTO and co-founder of SoftBrain Corporation, to discuss its latest innovations in the software field. We met at the Chalk and Cheese Pub in San Melvino-di-Burpo, and over lunch we explored the latest directions in Internet technology. More...

Did you ever notice how when management tells you something they don't always tell you everything? Sometimes it seems like they have their own special language for everything. If you're in the know, it all makes sense, but if not, use this handy guide to translate management speak into what you really need to know. More...

A recent trend has emerged from London known as "War Chalking" to help wireless hackers locate good sources of connectivity. With Venture Capital firms struggling to figure out which companies to salvage and which ones to shut down, we thought there could be a new set of chalk symbols emerging soon... More...

Analysts at the CTIA Wireless 2002 conference have confirmed that the once healthy telecomunications industry is seriously depressed. Dr. Buzz Dialtone discussed the situation on a panel "Outlook for 2002: Not as bad as 2001. Maybe." More...

Phil White, former CEO of Informix, who was convicted of eight counts of security fraud for filing known false statements with the SEC, has now been sentenced to 2 months in federal prison, a $10,000 fine and dinner without desert. More...

If you're a typical programmer working in a corporate environment, you've probably wondered about a career in management. Maybe you have considered taking evening courses toward an MBA, or at least learning to play golf. But before you begin climbing the corporate ladder to a ground floor opportunity, you'll need to learn about project management. More...

New York Attorney General and nine-time olympic medal winner Eliot Spitzer has announced an investigation into CBS's notorious SuperBowl halftime event. "This is the kind of tawdry smut you'd expect to see in some cheap porn magazine like National Geographic, not on national television," Spitzer said. More...

Comdex used to be the largest of the mega large computer industry tradeshows held in the fall in Las Vegas and internationally in Canada, Germany and Japan. If there was a way to get exhibitors to ship booths to Mars, they'd probably have a Comdex there too. ("Now with the most volume buyers in the solar system".) More...

Former New York Times reporter Jayson Blair, has resigned amid a scandal of journalistic fraud at the newspaper. Mr. Blair resigned his post when it was discovered that he had plagiarized an interview with an alien from Planet X that had allegedly kidnapped New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer. More...

Like on-again off-again lovers, Apple and Microsoft are sometimes partners and sometimes rivals but always interesting to observe. With Apple's latest "switch" campaign making the rounds, we thought it might be interesting to consider Microsoft's own campaign. More...

Now that Ann Landers is no longer with us and Dear Abby has been taken over by a cigar chomping man in drag, it's hard to find good sound advice in business. So to meet this need, we present our new advice column for the high priests of high tech in need of a little high-minded wisdom with a feminine touch. More...

In the latest news to roil struggling telecommunications giant WorldCon, new CEO John Skidmore admitted that the company will likely face bankruptcy proceedings. "There are four possible scenarios, three of which would result in filing for bankruptcy," Skidmore said. "The fourth option is to float a couple of billion on my Mastercard." More...

In the latest scandal to rock Arthur Andersen, the firm has now been linked to forest fires ravaging hundreds of acres of Arizona and Colorado wilderness. Apparently employees have take the company's document retention policy to a new extreme: setting torch to entire states. More...

In response to an affadavit filed by the Attorney General that Merrill Lynch's Internet group misled investors, the company has issued new guidelines to it's employees. "I am shocked --shocked to find that our analysts promoted stocks based on our investment banking business," said Louis Trabant, director of SEC compliance at the firm. More...

I recently met with CEO Steve Ballmer at thermo-nuclear powered Dixie's BBQ in Bellevue to learn more about Microsoft's new organizational structure. Over a lunch of raw beef and skewered executives, we discussed Microsoft's inner workings, the departure of Rick Belluzzo and new security challenges. More...

Ever wonder how Microsoft is able to maintain such a constant stream of communications from headquarters without actually having an in-house PR staff? We've recently discovered that Microsoft has in fact "eaten its own dog food" and built a software program that completely automates the creation of new press releases. More...

Hi, I'm Jeff Skilling, former CEO of Enron. When my career was just getting started, I had to learn with every mistake along the way. Now you can learn these same mistakes the fast way by using the books I wish I had back then. More...

How do you get Joe 486-pack to care about the rise and fall of Dot Com companies? Leading Internet impresario Skip Towne has created a new streaming Internet media portal with a twist. Dot Com Survivor.com combines the latest media fad (reality television) with the latest financial fad (dot com bankruptcy) and taken it to the next level. More...

People always ask me what it was like to work at Borland. OK, you asked for it. But to make sure I, don't disclose any trade secrets, I won't clutter up the discussion with factual information. More...

I wanted to let you know that I am very interested in taking over Alan Baratz's position at Sun Microsystems as the President of the Java Division, group or whatever. I am particularly interested in knowing who gets the remainder of Alan's stock options. More...