Power and Sex: Why Our Culture Needs the Church’s Teachings on Sexuality

EDITORIAL: Let the Body of Christ be a beacon of chastity so that men and women can learn to trust each other again.

The Editors

The recent testimony of female celebrities and ordinary women who have been preyed upon sexually by powerful men has demanded a reckoning across many sectors of American life.

“We are finally becoming conscious of a vice that has been socially accepted,” said the actress Salma Hayek, who accused the famous Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein of pressuring her to have sex in exchange for his help with an important film project. “In his eyes, I was not an artist. I wasn’t even a person. I was a thing: not a nobody, but a body.” According to her story in The New York Times, she didn’t, and Weinstein made her life unbearable.

These revelations have stirred a multitude of questions: In an age of growing gender equality, why have 30% of U.S. women experienced job-related sexual harassment? What cultural values fuel this scourge? And what will be the practical outcome — will women be safer?

Less than 20 years ago, the 2002 clergy sex-abuse crisis forced Catholics in the U.S. to face equally disturbing questions. The U.S. bishops implemented a policy of zero tolerance for abusers. Today, stringent reporting rules and background checks and screening for seminarians have reduced new allegations of clergy sexual abuse to a trickle.

Along the way, we have learned a number of lessons. Perhaps the most painful is that, even within our churches and among our pastors, sin and the power of evil are real and must be met with vigilance.

What lessons, then, should we take away from the Weinstein-inspired campaign to unmask powerful men who have abused women?

It is surely too soon to issue a comprehensive evaluation of this moment and its ripple effects across the culture. No doubt, partisan groups are looking for ways to channel anger about male sexual misconduct into a potent political force.

Such plans, however, will be complicated by the fact that influential figures from both parties, including the president of the United States, have been called out by women.

Meanwhile, Weinstein and his strain have already learned one lesson: Their power cannot match the collective witness of men and women who have found the courage to confront their tormentors. Yes, some have argued that this new movement, to remain credible and avoid overkill, must distinguish between boorish behavior and rape or other forms of sexual assault. Nevertheless, these influential men have been put on notice: If they use their power to abuse others, they will suffer the consequences.

Further, as the stories of mostly female victims are published in the media, we have also learned that differences regarding sex are real. They can’t be chalked up to social conditioning, as feminists long argued. “Recent revelations about sexual harassment, assault and abuse underscore certain blunt realities about men, women and sex,” said Mark Regnerus, a sociologist at the University of Texas at Austin who studies sexual behavior.

“Men’s sex drives are, on average, stronger and less discriminating than women’s. If this were not true, we would not be talking about this in the first place,” he noted in an article for The Public Discourse.

Women are more likely to “find themselves in situations of sexual risk,” Regnerus, the author of Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage and Monogamy, noted.

But now, he said, as women rise up together to expose and shame sexual predators, their joint effort marks a real turning point. And while many victims have placed their hopes in litigation that will punish and deter sexual misconduct, Regnerus says we should go much further.

We should begin to acknowledge that gender differences exist and need to be taken into account if we want to set high standards for behavior in the workplace. Such an approach could begin with a tough-minded review of modern social codes promoted by the sexual revolution and feminism, as Catholic authors — like Mary Eberstadt, a senior research fellow at the Faith & Reason Institute — have pressed for.

Both movements attacked the virtue of chastity as a patriarchal taboo that held women back. And once contraception and legal abortion became easily accessible, feminists envisioned a level playing field for women — in bed and at work. Their untested agenda challenged the governing principles of the old social order that tightly controlled courtship practices.

The old order opposed premarital and extramarital sex on religious, moral and practical grounds. This was a system largely policed by women, who leveraged what social researchers describe as a “cartel” of chastity to discourage and punish sexual misconduct.

In contrast, the new code of sexual behavior facilitated by contraception and legal abortion has penalized the chaste and rewarded the promiscuous. Men now expect to have sex by the third or fourth date, if not sooner, and women who don’t comply can feel like social outliers.

But if men don’t learn self-control during their formative years, why should we expect that they will exercise restraint later in life, when they have gained a measure of power and have access to more women?

The modern cartel of promiscuity, which hinges on a murky concept of “consent,” does a poor job of forming men who respect women. It also turns out that the hook-up culture also does a poor job of instilling self-respect in young women. That’s another lesson to be learned, as the national conversation broadens to include accusations of sexual assault as well as stories that bemoan the problematic elements of “consensual” sex. “This particular moment of cultural reckoning … gets at a crucial nuance that seems to have long been missing from the conversation around sexual harassment and assault: that consent isn’t always black and white,” said Jessica Bennett, The New York Times’ new “gender editor,” in a column for the paper.

“Sometimes ‘Yes’ means ‘No,’ simply because it is easier to go through with it than explain our way out of the situation. … And if you’re a man, that ‘No’ often means ‘just try harder’ — because, you know, persuasion is part of the game.”

Bennett expressed a sense of unease with her own willingness to acquiesce to pushy men who wanted sex.

Like the proverbial frog in the pot of boiling water, she appears to have grown used to such encounters, until the recent news made her stop and think.

Her story should inspire Catholics to respond in creative ways to this cultural moment. While our immediate goal should be a workplace that prohibits sexual harassment and fosters the respectful treatment of women, our long-term mission should be far more ambitious. More than ever, we need a new social movement inspired by the Church’s own teachings on sexuality and chastity — chastity not as a form of social control, but as the path to an interior freedom born of self-restraint. This freedom makes it possible for a man to see every woman, but especially the woman he loves, as a priceless gift, not as an object to be used. This freedom helps us recover the distinctive value of masculinity and of femininity and their unity in difference. And in marriage, this freedom creates the conditions for an authentic sexual relationship of mutual self-gift.

Let the Body of Christ be a beacon of chastity so that men and women can learn to trust each other again. This is the lesson we are called to teach a culture struggling to regain a sense of hope.

Kurt, it is more than work/parenting balance that I’m talking about. Ideally, a family would have all the resources to provide for its own needs using its own property. But this is rarely the case. So it’s practically always a necessity for someone to work outside the home. But no matter who does it, it is something of a necessary evil, for whomever does do it sacrifices time that would otherwise be spent having an influence on their family, especially the children.

Few jobs offer the power to shape the world that raising a child does. So if shaping the world is one’s goal, then being the parent who spends practically all their time raising the children is the better part of it. This power comes more naturally to women than to men, who have to defer at least part of the task to their wives even if they’re able to muscle through the rest of it themselves. Taking advantage of this power also gives women greater influence over men, namely their husbands, who aren’t as free to slack off or take unnecessary risks with their employment when their wives aren’t offering to generate a chunk of the family’s income themselves. These are just some of the reasons that I say I am “amazed by the number of women who willingly trade the natural power women have to shape the world and even control men for contrived powers” (e.g. that come with working outside the home) that don’t let them accomplish those things nearly as easily.

Posted by Michael FLores on Friday, Jan, 5, 2018 1:15 AM (EDT):

Schreider, if you weren’t Catholic, you’d immediately reverse your stance on contraception. Furthermore you seem to think that the definition of “good’ is merely “conforming to god’s personal tastes and preferences’. there are all sorts of horrible things you could justify by that sycophant logic. & Job 42:2 says nothing that ever happens is against god’s plan. And Catholic teaching ons exult violates the dignity fo the human person, imprisioning the victim completely as a sexual being. Catholicism reduces the natural beauty of sensuality and sex to a dirty household chore by teaching that not only is pleasure not THE purpose of sex, but not even A, not even A, purpose of sex: https://www.catholic.com/index.php/qa/are-marital-relations-not-supposed-to-pleasurable-because-they-are-only-for-reproductive Note that the author of the article linked to could’ve written “not the purpose”, but instead he wrote not “A” purpose.

After minimal reflection here it seems to me are the differences between natural family planning (NFP) and contraception:

The one is natural, the other is artificial i.e. unnatural.

NFP is ordered towards and cooperates with God’s intent (design) for human sexuality. It promotes the culture of life by respecting the procreative end of the sex act. Contraception prioritizes human intentions ahead of God’s —hence it’s disordered. It promotes the culture of death by actively thwarting God’s design.

NFP respects and accepts the dignity of the whole person —including a person’s fertility. Contraception tends towards the objectification of persons by treating them as a utilitarian means towards the end of sexual gratification.

The one is licit, the other is illicit.

Posted by Judy on Thursday, Jan, 4, 2018 1:47 PM (EDT):

There is a report that planned parenthood made 5 hundred million dollars last year. While killing 300,000 children. It ended up $1,666.667 per a death of child! We have to let this number be known in and out!
(I think it’s related with a sexuality issue)

Posted by Vic on Thursday, Jan, 4, 2018 11:55 AM (EDT):

Kurt - “Most porn producers are Republicans.” Just wondering if this is a serious comment. As if republicans are more responsible for porn? Granted, republicans have their problems, but the emphasis on graphic and perverted sex by left leaning dems makes them look like pikers. Just one example would be Silicon Valley movers and shakers - their democratic support is well documented at @ 95%. Please excuse the following short-cut to an outlandish website (I got it through another article.) https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2018/01/brotopia-silicon-valley-secretive-orgiastic-inner-sanctum
Portrayed is their perverted view of sex. These people are among the richest and most influential in America, contributing to mostly left wing causes. This is just one example from the left. How anyone could partner with such individuals for political gain is beyond me.

Posted by mrscracker on Thursday, Jan, 4, 2018 10:53 AM (EDT):

pavel,
Just looking at your comments I would again really encourage you to seek out an NFP instructor. There’s a lot to learn about NFP & sadly, even medical professionals tend to be misinformed or just haven’t been trained enough in NFP to give the correct advice.
God bless you & your family.
:)

Posted by Kurt on Thursday, Jan, 4, 2018 10:34 AM (EDT):

Kevin, is your point that all parents need to seek to balance their worklife and their parenting duties?

Posted by Ken on Wednesday, Jan, 3, 2018 9:19 PM (EDT):

@Kurt, tell the truth now, are you here to contribute to dialog or simply to bash Republicans? You really believe there are no Democrats involved in the porn industry? Remember people like Larry Flint offering monetary rewards unsuccessfully to those who could dig up dirt on prominent Republicans ? Your outrage is very selective.

Posted by Kevin Rahe on Wednesday, Jan, 3, 2018 8:19 PM (EDT):

Kurt said,

Saying women should not work outside the home (but men can) is very sexist.

Naturally, Hugh Hefner donated exclusively to Democrats during the last 30 years of his life.

Posted by Kurt on Wednesday, Jan, 3, 2018 2:39 PM (EDT):

Saying women should not work outside the home (but men can) is very sexist.

Posted by pavel on Wednesday, Jan, 3, 2018 1:11 PM (EDT):

mrscracker,
thank you for well meaning response, but it is simply not true that you can effectively use NFP without abstaining on average 11-12 days continuously if you are really serious of not having any more kids. And no NFP instructor can change that without significant increase in chance of conception. This is 5 kids and 25 years of married life talking. I do not want to get into too much details, since this is a side discussion on this forum), but in the most ideal world when you know exactly when ovulation happened (looking back it is easy, but not when you live your life and taking care of your family) you need at least 5-6 days before ovulation (sperm lifespan) + 3 days after ovulation—> 9 days minimum. As I said 12 days is average with reasonable amount of risk. Why do you think such a small percentage of people use NFP? It is hard to be sure what is going on (and my wife is in medical field), it is incrementally harder when your live is not regular, and it is a lot of waiting, uncertainty and frustration. Please excuse me, if I sound frustrated, it is is still the best option out there to be honest, but we should not sugarcoat our good intentions, we need to be precise and truthful if we want to convince others.
What is truly frustrating to me, that often, I am one of the very few NOT in a communion line if I fall, and everybody else is there, although the fact of life is that majority uses contraception. I never meet vast majority in a confession line (never a line reallY), plus I never hear preaching about importance of chastity in married life. Am I the one of the very few that still follow the catechism and clear rules of the Church anymore, even though I might not be 100% in agreement there?

Posted by mrscracker on Wednesday, Jan, 3, 2018 11:41 AM (EDT):

pavel ,
NFP is actually often used to achieve conception. More & more couples are struggling with infertility these days.
But from your comments, it sounds as if you might want to meet with an NFP instructor. Hopefully your Diocesan Office of Family Life should be able to give you a name & contact info. God bless!

Posted by Kevin Rahe on Tuesday, Jan, 2, 2018 8:04 PM (EDT):

Michale Flores,

Saying women should only work outside the home as “necessary evil” or if they feeling calling to sounds very sexist.

I agree that on the surface the language sounds sexist, but if you read carefully you’ll see that I’m not offering a one-size-fits-all prescription, but rather pointing out that there are indeed trade-offs when a woman makes certain choices, and that the choices the world seems to say are good for a woman often leave her with less influence on that world than those choices considered more “traditional.”

Posted by pavel on Tuesday, Jan, 2, 2018 5:29 PM (EDT):

Many good points here. I would like to comment on the NFP perception that some people apparently have. Firstly, although I try to practice it, I also have a trouble to see much of a distinction between condom and NFP. Sure, some fine points of difference might be there, but ultimately when you have number of kids and you really do not want to have more, you use NFP not to have them. This is different (just like using condom) from not being open to life - I would not reject new life in either case. When you have 5 kids like I do, perspective changes and being casual about procreation is less and less of an option. This leads me to my next point, that I often hear that NFP is abstinence for ‘only short time in the cycle’. This is not true, even for couples that have regular cycles, not to mention couples that have any type of irregular situation. Is 11 - 14 days of continuous abstinence in 28 day cycle (plus additional 3-4 days for period) considered short? Again, when one is hoping to have kids and just wants to postpone, shorter abstinence than that period will do in most cases, but how do you think I got the 4 kids in 6 years, and number 5 out of the blue 6 years later ... ;-) In any case, I am very happy to have big family, and happy to have been ‘tricked’ (in a way) by the NFP to have them all, so I am not complaining. But, at the same time, we need to tell the truth, and NFP is 99.9% effective only when you are abstaining more often than not.

Posted by Vic on Tuesday, Jan, 2, 2018 4:34 PM (EDT):

“From what I’ve heard, a number of women used in porn are trafficked & victimized. I don’t think it’s a good idea or charitable to assume that they have full consent.”
This is certainly true; however, the stuff on TV anymore, in movies, on commercials, in any number of mainline publications; at awards ceremonies or during stage acts, there is a competition to see who can be the most daring to walk the line, etc,. All this used to be considered pornographic; the language used, the implications involved, the situations and dress portrayed, etc., etc. All this is not because of trafficking, etc. So many use sex as a tool to gain wealth and fame and instant gratification. So much of culture has become obsessed with sex just for the sake of sex and has moved away from the real beauty of sex in complementing marriage and family. There is no need to be a “prude”, but there is a need to respect the dignity and beauty of oneself and others.

Posted by Kurt on Tuesday, Jan, 2, 2018 4:19 PM (EDT):

Most porn producers are Republicans. They are in a money making business and they love the GOP platform of tax cuts for businesses, low labor standards and anti-regulation. Also through their front groups they have worked hand in glove with conservatives on laws to protect their copyrights and property interests.

Posted by mrscracker on Tuesday, Jan, 2, 2018 1:36 PM (EDT):

Posted by Ferde Rombola :

Thus do feminists let women in the porn industry off the hook and blame men for their behavior. If feminists cannot and will not call women in porn out they are enabling them. The argument that men control them is just an excuse for weakness and shabby moral values on both sides.”
**********
From what I’ve heard, a number of women used in porn are trafficked & victimized. I don’t think it’s a good idea or charitable to assume that they have full consent.

Posted by Ken on Tuesday, Jan, 2, 2018 10:09 AM (EDT):

@ Luis, even Pope Francis has said that women will never be ordained as Priests, wishful thinking on your part. Give it up, ain’t gonna happen. Go join the Anglican Church if you don’t like it.

Posted by Avantibev on Tuesday, Jan, 2, 2018 3:29 AM (EDT):

As a professional actress I am appalled and angered by the comments suggesting actresses are all asking to be assaulted. That is as ignorant as saying a missionary in the jungle or the urbam jungle is asking to be raped or killed. There are many fine actresses with whom I have worked whose talents and vocations are from God. They are not “seeking fame” and often struggle just to make do with meager compensation.
Catholic men this is not the 16th century nor is Catholicism’s view of the arts compatible with Islam’s though some comments here seem more in line with the latter.

Posted by Luis Gutierrez on Tuesday, Jan, 2, 2018 1:31 AM (EDT):

The Body of Christ should be a beacon of chastity, but it should not be a beacon of patriarchy. The Catholic Church should recognize that religious patriarchy is cultural rather than dogmatic and start ordaining women to the sacramental priesthood.

Posted by Michale Flores on Monday, Jan, 1, 2018 11:09 PM (EDT):

Quadratus,, the UN reported in 2012 that the Church continues the “Systematic” coverup of child rape, involving “TENS of thousands of victims!

Posted by Michale Flores on Monday, Jan, 1, 2018 11:07 PM (EDT):

Saying women should only work outside the home as “necessary evil” or if they feeling calling to sounds very sexist. While I agree that no one should do a job they don’t like, they way you talk about it makes you sound little better than a KKK member.

Posted by mjb on Monday, Jan, 1, 2018 6:47 PM (EDT):

“Posted by Graeme Reid on Monday, Jan, 1, 2018 2:38 AM (EST):
mjb, Intent Matters?
You mean having sexual relations that you purposely don’t
want to be productive, and therefore you flush the seeds of
human life down the toilet is - good intent?”
mmm….missed my point completely.Not even close. To sin you need an act. In addition you need intent. ( self defense and murder was simply an example) Lets takes another example. You steal a loaf of bread. The first is to save your families life because they are starving to death. Second because it looked good. Are they both sins? Catholic moral teaching says the first is not a sin. Look it up.
Now to the condom example. A couple uses a condom to ensure they have no children. The second couple uses rhythm or NFP because they don’t want children. Catholic teaching would indicate they are both sinning because their intent was not to procreate. You need and outward act and intent when you judge sin. By definition couples should be open to procreation when they engage in sex. Both these couple have no such intention. So are people who use the rhythm method or NFP sinning by definition?

Posted by Michael Flores on Monday, Jan, 1, 2018 4:18 PM (EDT):

Sexual harassers harass because they are selfish, not because of condoms, abortion, or porn. Who else agrees with me?

Posted by Joe McLaughlin on Monday, Jan, 1, 2018 9:06 AM (EDT):

I agree forcing oneself on another is evil. But, the women that went to Hollywood with the vain impression they would be famous no matter what it took do not have much sympathy from me. It is not like the secretary whose dress is cut slightly above the knee or the nurse forced to wear a dress that is accosted. It is not men and women in ordinary professions or walking in a mall attacked. These Hollywood bound fame seekers went to a place known for it’s sexual depravities and debauchery with the idea they could enter and later be famous. They acted outside of normal caution.

For the others I stand tall in your defence. No one including a wife should ever be forced to serve another sexually. No harassment, no whistles, no degrading acts. All people should be held up as loving creatures of God. For those seeking fame we need to be more persistent in guiding them away from the vanity or fame and help them find self worth without the degrading acts of media.

Posted by Graeme Reid on Monday, Jan, 1, 2018 3:38 AM (EDT):

mjb, Intent Matters?
You mean having sexual relations that you purposely don’t
want to be productive, and therefore you flush the seeds of
human life down the toilet is - good intent?
Don’t know what that has to do with self defense though
unless you think the seeds are going to attack you.
Anyway, to do such deeds without discernment is not
Christianity but pure unadulterated relativism.
It is understood that there is no shortage of adherants
to secular relativism.
Your adherence to relativism is adherence to a very self
centered anti Christian culture based
on putting ones pleasures and self interests ahead of
morality and ahead of the legitimate interests of others.
As for:
“The rhythm method is archaic….
You should take that up with the person who posted it.
I’ve already written a sentence below about the
rhythm method.

Posted by Michael Flores on Monday, Jan, 1, 2018 12:31 AM (EDT):

My view, as an ex-catholic, is that catholic teaching on sex is, frankly, quite lewd. Please read Exchristian.net’s articles “The final frontier of tyranny” and “Matthew 5:28 genocide or slavery”. I’d love to see your comments on them.

Posted by Quadratus on Sunday, Dec, 31, 2017 10:36 PM (EDT):

Good article in essence, but influence our culture on sex? The Church has devastated its moral high ground in the eyes of the world with its own sex scandal which impacted thousands of victims and cost billions. If we want to influence the culture then we have to be taught, believe in and live chastity ourselves, first. We cannot give what we do not possess. We need our leaders and priests to challenge us to be pure and give us the reasons as to why it matters, particularly as it relates to salvation. The Virgin Mary gave the three young Fatima seers a rather shocking visual on what can happen to those who disregard this essential virtue. It is a fools errand to dismiss that warning and roll the spiritual dice because we are more “sophisticated” now a hundred years later. The warning was precisely for our age. When was the last time you heard a homily on chastity? We have a crisis of faith in the Church due to a total lack of proper teaching and adherence on this foundational Christian teaching, which is at the epicenter of our own Catholic culture crisis, and not until we reignite our own sentiments faithfully toward it, do we have any chance of making a difference in the non Catholic sphere.

Posted by Ferde Rombola on Sunday, Dec, 31, 2017 8:10 PM (EDT):

“...none of the above dignify women & they enable women to be used or trafficked by men.”

Thus do feminists let women in the porn industry off the hook and blame men for their behavior. If feminists cannot and will not call women in porn out they are enabling them. The argument that men control them is just an excuse for weakness and shabby moral values on both sides.

Posted by Kevin Rahe on Sunday, Dec, 31, 2017 7:13 PM (EDT):

I wouldn’t tout the bishops’ zero tolerance policy as any kind of solution or model to follow. While better background checks and screening are certainly good, eliminating the possibility of judgment in a situation where someone has crossed a line purposely drawn in a very conservative location invites eventual error - i.e. doing more harm than good by removing a priest from ministry - which I believe I have witnessed in my own diocese as a result of that policy.

That aside, I am continually amazed by the number of women who willingly trade the natural power women have to shape the world and even control men for contrived powers that are narrower, less effective and require constant effort to maintain. This happens on several levels, from the physical (e.g. contraceptives vs. chastity) to the economic (e.g. seeking to work outside the home, as opposed to doing so only when one feels called to a particular mission or as a “necessary evil” of sorts) to the social (e.g. seeking to live “free” of obligations vs. being open to marriage).

Another aspect of this whole matter is that we have eliminated the gap between what is socially acceptable and what is so bad that it is indefensible and often criminal. For example, it used to be considered taboo to have sex outside of marriage. But going beyond those bounds still involved a level of consent and rarely if ever rose to the point of being a crime, at least as long as it was between adults. Today that has all changed, with practically anything anyone could consent to being considered acceptable. There will always be people - usually men but sometimes women as well - who will try and push beyond what is socially acceptable. But where they once had a fair amount of wiggle room to pursue their desires, today they cannot push very far at all without seriously harming someone else and risking serious trouble for themselves.

Posted by TomK on Sunday, Dec, 31, 2017 12:27 PM (EDT):

Another lesson from Christ and His church - all the accused have the personal and private opportunity for forgiveness and redemption. Perhaps some of the accused will seek public redemption with contrition. We are all sinners and there is no sin so great that it cannot be forgiven. Perhaps some of the men can use their talent for the greater good.

Posted by Judy on Saturday, Dec, 30, 2017 1:13 PM (EDT):

@Andre, the act of Contraception is that the individual takes in charge of creation of God’s children. We the creature of God has no authority to comtrol his creation. As we have no authority on own birth or death. Contraception kills The Work of God. It is the same as aboration in a spirtual point. It’s offensive to God. As consequence, many women suffer by this directly or indirectly. It’s against women’s natural system. Much bigger subjects (breadt cancer, depression, suicide) can be discussed with this if we have a chance. At the end of day, women became a great victim with contraception. I had a chance to attend the Christmas liturgy at the very traditional monastery, I witnessed a young mother with 10 children had a glowing beautiful face. That beauty you can not see with well fit woman on contraception.

Posted by mjb on Friday, Dec, 29, 2017 8:32 PM (EDT):

“Do they flush it down the toilet with the condom?
If so, what sort of basic respect is that for human life?”
Graeme Reid you have forgotten basic moral tenants. That is of intent. You kill a fellow human being in self defense. Murder? Intent matters so review your post.
As for:
“The rhythm method is archaic.
Natural Family Planning (NFP) is what is says it is; healthy, respects every human being, and is responsible.”
Please enlighten all of us to the difference.
I will await your scientific logical response.
MB

Posted by Ken on Friday, Dec, 29, 2017 4:02 PM (EDT):

No Andre, you don’t want a “well thought out response” you want an answer that conforms to your worldview.

Posted by Judy on Friday, Dec, 29, 2017 1:17 PM (EDT):

Wonderful timely article! Sexual offense Is not acceptable at any degree. However, all woman has to watch themselves before man!
Why the majority women would like to be “sexy”? the culture is set for the woman’s value how sexy they are from toddler to 70 yrs. old. Ever revealing outfit puts man in a test against themselves. One of priest gave a truthful homily “do not come to the communion line when you dressed like hooker!”. Then, he said that he does not know where he can put his eyes from over revealing woman. And they go confession in a room without grid in a such outfit. Many women take advantage of the age old “sex sells” at any place directly or indirectly. Like a good religious sisters, they should never be alone with man. It’s a rule of our traditional Catholics confessional guide line.
We call it a negligence and a confessional item!

Posted by mrscracker on Friday, Dec, 29, 2017 10:51 AM (EDT):

Posted by MorganB :

“How can contraception be mentioned in the same breath with abortion and pornography? “
************
Because they’re all connected. Each one disconnects sexual relations from procreation. Though abortion & some forms of contraception do that after the fact.
And pornography generally disconnects men from real women (and reality) entirely.
So, none of the above dignify women & they enable women to be used or trafficked by men. Often repeatedly.

Posted by kmk on Friday, Dec, 29, 2017 9:45 AM (EDT):

Thank you Michael Siddle and Catholic Dan, we need many more men like you!

Posted by kmk on Friday, Dec, 29, 2017 9:44 AM (EDT):

The rhythm method is archaic.
Natural Family Planning (NFP) is what is says it is; healthy, respects every human being, and is responsible.
There is a huge difference between any kind of contraception (literally means a barrier to life) and NFP.
NFP is more than 99% reliable for those seeking pregnancy and those not seeking pregnancy. NFP is not cancer causing as many contraceptives are.
NFP is nearly free of all costs which is the main reason most of the medical community barely recognizes it or promotes it. NFP is not a money maker for the pharmaceutical industry.
There are countless reasons why contraceptives are bad, countless reasons why NFP is good.
Thanks be to God

Posted by kmk on Friday, Dec, 29, 2017 9:37 AM (EDT):

The cartoon says it all! Our culture needs the Catholic Church’s teaching on relationships because it is all about love, not power and sexuality. Another significant reason for seeking any sort of relationship is to avoid lonliness. the CC can remove any lonliness as well, because Jesus seeks a relationship with all of us.
Thanks be to God.

Posted by Andre on Friday, Dec, 29, 2017 8:28 AM (EDT):

Still waiting for a well thought out response to my question.

I mean really Morgan, contraception and sex abuse. ????

Contraception is a responsible way to bring children into the world. You say irresponsible.

Michael have this conversation with a woman and let me know her response.

Ken when contraception is available there abortion rate lowers. For obvious reasons.

Posted by Graeme Reid on Friday, Dec, 29, 2017 6:50 AM (EDT):

mjb, you say -
“....the married couple that uses the “rhythm method” is not sinning
but the married couple that uses condom is sinning? Odd at best….”
Tell us, what do the couple that use the condom do with its contents?
What do they do with the sperm which is the seed of human life
gifted by the Creator of all life of which human life is the ultimate?
Do they flush it down the toilet with the condom?
If so, what sort of basic respect is that for human life?
The couples that use the rhythm have no need for such complete
lack of respect for the seed of human life!
Monthly fertiliy periods are brief anyway compared with the
non-fertility periods so accordingly, what could the actual problem
really be for a married couple to cause them to use a condom anyway?
Do you think that sincere married couples are so weak willed that they
can not possibly refrain for a short time each month?
Surely not much of a marriage if they can’t!
Does someone who enjoys gardening, tip the seeds to be planted onto
the concrete footpath and then sweep them into the gutter to have
them washed away?
If so, then even that would be more a desirable thing to do than is
the flushing of human sperm down the toilet.
As such, this comparison shows how hairbrain anyone who claims to be
a Christian and have human dignity, and yet uses condoms really is.
The gardner can be looked on as you say odd; but surely nowhere near
as odd as condom users who claim to be good Christians.

Posted by MorganB on Thursday, Dec, 28, 2017 7:56 PM (EDT):

How can contraception be mentioned in the same breath with abortion and pornography?

For Catholics it seems to begin with the pedophile cover up. If it wasn’t the first sexual abuse of minors it certainly was the most shocking. The church has expended over $1.5 billion for court costs and retribution to the victims. Pope Francis campaigned on a promise to “clean house” of all hierarchy responsible for breaking the law. He established a tribunal to investigate any charges. He later dismissed the Bishops. If we can’t get it right in the church, how do we expect the secular world to do their part?

Posted by Ken on Thursday, Dec, 28, 2017 7:52 PM (EDT):

@ Andre, the answer to your question is they all go hand in hand. All products of the “sexual revolution”. Irresponsible sex without consequences. Contrary to popular belief since contraception became widely available abortion has actually increased.

Posted by Michael Siddle on Thursday, Dec, 28, 2017 4:12 PM (EDT):

Andre, how do you draw that conclusion? I am saying that both sexes have to be held accountable for their behaviour. If women portray themselves in movies as openly available to anyone they denigrate all women. That doesn’t even in the slightest way imply a licence to rape but it most certainly implies an open invitation to sexual advances and that is where most of these problems start. The only difference in whether a sexual advance is wanted or unwanted is solely in the response of the person being approached. None of us would exist if at some time at least one our parents hadn’t made sexual advances to the other. Were those advances always welcome? Who knows?

Posted by Kurt on Thursday, Dec, 28, 2017 2:56 PM (EDT):

David Thomas is right that it is private enterprise that is the force behind the promotion of sexual immorality.

Posted by Therese on Thursday, Dec, 28, 2017 12:38 PM (EDT):

Great article and comments. Pornography has destroyed healthy sexuality in our world. I agree too that Fathers have a great responsibility to their sons in teaching what healthy sexuality means. As well as modeling how to respect women through treating his wife with respect and love. We need to pound heaven with our prayers for the family the way God intends and created us for life on earth.

Posted by Andre on Thursday, Dec, 28, 2017 8:12 AM (EDT):

Confused how you include contraception in this article with abortion and porn.

Waiting to hear more women respond to your article.

Michael Siddle your comment sounds like you are giving men a free pass to rape.

Posted by Linda Maria on Thursday, Dec, 28, 2017 2:15 AM (EDT):

Our Lady of Fatima showed the three little shepherd children a vision of Hell. And she also said to them, “More people go to Hell for committing sexual sins, than for any other!” She told them to do lots of penance, to help all the poor sinners. How many in today’s filthy, sinful culture—have half a chance, to even qualify to enter the lower levels of Purgatory, at life’s end??

Posted by David Thomas on Wednesday, Dec, 27, 2017 8:45 PM (EDT):

Its Hollywood and its about money ... nothing more !

Posted by David Thomas on Wednesday, Dec, 27, 2017 8:43 PM (EDT):

December 27 = the Feast of Saint John = The Son of Thunder !

Posted by mjb on Wednesday, Dec, 27, 2017 8:42 PM (EDT):

The Church teachings on sexual matters are confusing at best. Lets take the current state of birth control. “Essentially, God has designed marital love to be both unitive and procreative; to suppress or to violate either one contradicts the design of God” So the married couple that uses the “rhythm method”(known due to science) is not sinning but the married couple that uses condom is sinning? Odd at best. Why if both types of BC are meant not to be “procreative” is one wrong and one OK? The very nature of the rhythm method means you do not want to procreate.

Posted by David Thomas on Wednesday, Dec, 27, 2017 8:40 PM (EDT):

ah… the Flower of WomanHood .... No More !

Posted by Vic on Wednesday, Dec, 27, 2017 8:12 PM (EDT):

This is a good article - as far as it goes. No question, sexual abuse is a blight on the world. Yet, it is difficult to listen to some of those who are hopping on the bandwagon now. Where were they when those like the Kennedy’s, Bill Clinton and other politicians as well as so many in the entertainment industry and society just took the sex for granted and imposed themselves on others? Where are they when women bare themselves and push their bodies and sex on to whomever will look in movies, on stage and in public? The whole affair reeks of hypocrisy and a lack of moral direction, self-respect and a respect for others. And where is our Church now? When we need the Church to be that stalwart of dignity and moral foundation, it is trying to weaken the message.

Posted by Joseph S on Wednesday, Dec, 27, 2017 6:51 PM (EDT):

Don’t know the numbers (love it if someone could)of the number of under 50 who have a religion and received religious education but this article point to the only direction. We can’t keep raising our children and their children outside of religions.

Who determines the parameters of behavior. We have the answer before us everyday but this society for the past fifty years has chosen to ridicule religion and rid it from the public square and conscience.

We are not all equal except in the eyes of God.

Only one side is being put on notice and blamed. This is the place for equal treatment - respect for both genders by the other hopefully can rebuild the trust. We have to believe its possible.

This didn’t just happen but small things for all these years. The boiling of frog is appropriate.

Posted by Michael Siddle on Wednesday, Dec, 27, 2017 4:39 PM (EDT):

Certainly there has been an abuse of power by men in positions of authority but the hypocrisy of women who strip naked in movies and engage in simulated sex should also be heavily criticised and probably contributes to the abuse of normal women in society as it creates a false image of women’s expectations from men.

Posted by Wendy Gardner on Wednesday, Dec, 27, 2017 2:50 PM (EDT):

“Sometimes ‘Yes’ means ‘No,’ simply because it is easier to go through with it than explain our way out of the situation. They then want to turn around and say the men they said yes to raped them?
Can any of us imagine our grandmothers thinking this way? They would never have come up with such a thought. We were a lot stronger back before we became “empowered”. Our grandmothers used to teach us tricks to get out of a potentially dangerous situation. These modern feminists can’t even handle a man pouting.

Posted by Catholic Dan on Wednesday, Dec, 27, 2017 1:39 PM (EDT):

Not to mention to pandemic of pornography viewing by men. In our social climate, men are not encouraged to develop healthy sexuality. Boys and young men find pornography and masturbation “low-risk” sex, that is, sex without risk of rejection or commitment. Women who voluntarily participation int he creation of porn see it as a means to attain wealth and power over men. One can be assured that behind every abuser of women is a hard drive loaded with pornography.

It is up to fathers–not schools–to educate their sons to the intrinsic value of women so that our culture can begin to reclaim the sanctity of the human body and soul.

Posted by Raakhee on Wednesday, Dec, 27, 2017 1:17 PM (EDT):

Thank you for this beautiful column! The abuse of sexuality as an item of consumption leads quickly to sexual abuse of persons.

Posted by Shannon on Wednesday, Dec, 27, 2017 1:03 PM (EDT):

Great points. Thank you.

Posted by mrscracker on Wednesday, Dec, 27, 2017 12:32 PM (EDT):

You know, it’s sad that Hollywood has been a major tool in cheapening the concept of relationships & making the illicit appear the norm. Now the only standard they can claim is “consent”, and as the article points out, that’s a sometimes thing for women. Yes often really is a NO, but women feel pressured to comply to a norm that Hollywood promotes & profits by.
How many recent films have you watched where a couple refrains from relations before marriage?

Posted by cthlc12345 on Wednesday, Dec, 27, 2017 11:11 AM (EDT):

Good cartoon. I’d like to add “and they want men in women’s bathrooms/showers…and to force schools (and the girl students) to permit boys in girls’ showers”

Join the Discussion

We encourage a lively and honest discussion of our content. We ask that charity guide your words.
By submitting this form, you are agreeing to our discussion guidelines.
Comments are published at our discretion. We won't publish comments that lack charity, are off topic, or are more than 400 words.
Thank you for keeping this forum thoughtful and respectful.