Adams Sacked For Bringing Shotgun to Training

Tony Adams has been sacked by Granada after being photographed brandishing a shotgun during a light training session. The Arsenal legend only took control of the La Liga strugglers last week, and insists that the club have acted hastily.

Foreign

“It’s disappointing,” Adams told Soccer on Sunday. “Most people here speak foreign, which I had not expected. So the gun was just a way to help me get my message across. Make no mistake, these players are fighting for their La Liga lives, and if I could squeeze out an extra 10% by threatening to kill them? Well, I couldn’t leave that stone unturned.”

“Of course it was loaded,” added the former Portsmouth manager. “An empty gun would undermine my authority. I needed the players to genuinely believe that I might shoot them in the face if they miscontrolled a pass. George Graham used to carry a switchblade at Arsenal training. Same principle, but football has obviously moved on since George’s time. You’d be thought quite backward nowadays if you brought a knife to training, instead of a gun.”

Merson

Paul Merson has strongly criticised Granada for sacking his former Arsenal clubmate.

“Tony’s been in football for 40 years,” the Sky Sports pundit told Soccer on Sunday. “He understands that some players need an arm around the shoulder, and others need to be made deepthroat the barrel of a shotgun. But typical foreigners, they’ve run off crying to the chairman. ‘Boohoo, the gaffer’s threatening to kill us.’ That’s your modern foreigner right there. Weak as a chinaman.”