Jokes Page 3

This memo is to announce the development of a new
software system. We are currently building a data center
that will contain all firm data that is Year 2000
compliant. The program is referred to as the
"Millennium Year Application Software System" (MYASS).

Next monday at 9:00 AM there will be a meeting in
which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will continue to
hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees
will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. As
for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not
addressed the networking aspects, so currently, only one person
at a time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed
after MYASS expands.

Several people are using the program already and
have come to depend on it. Just this morning I walked into
a subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had
his nose buried in MYASS.

I've noticed that some of the less technical
personnel are somewhat afraid of MYASS. Just last week,
when asked to enter some information into the program, I had a
secretary say, "I'm a little nervous. I've never put
anything into MYASS before." I volunteered to help her
through her first time and when we were through, she admitted it
was relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to
doing it again. She went so far as to say that after using
SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MYASS.

I know that there are concerns over the virus
found in MYASS upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say
the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save
MYASS. In the future, however, protection will be required
prior to entering MYASS. We planned this database to
encompass all information associated with the business.

So, as you begin using the program, feel free to
put anything you want into MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we
envision a time when it will be common place to walk by an office
and see a manager hand a paper to an employee and say,
"here, stick this in MYASS." This program has
already demonstrated great benefit to the company. In a
recent audit, an employee was asked where he had secured the
numbers on the report. He proudly exclaimed, "I just
pulled them out of MYASS."