Dating sites make me feel ugly

06-Nov-2017 21:31

Listening to her experiences makes me want to set something on fire.

Christian has seen profiles declaring that they're interested in every race except black women, and someone once told her "her kind" wasn't "good enough to date." Another guy said he'd "always wanted to try a black girl" because rumor had it we're like "sexual toys." "I cried that night [after I got that message]," says Christian.

The guys I meet are dull, manic, needy, indifferent, thick, obnoxious, selfish, mean, vain or ugly. Single people above the age of 30 are single for a reason. Dating seemed so tempting when I was in a relationship. In my increasingly pathetic and desperate search for someone to love, I embarked on a year of industrial dating that has left me deeply scarred and utterly miserable. Pay a couple of sincere compliments, you’re not giving away any power or dignity, it’s just nice.

Yes, people are often attracted to others with similar backgrounds, but must you factor that so decisively into your algorithms, ye dating sites of little faith?

For now, Maya's filtered her preferences on the dating apps she still uses to only see people of color, hoping to avoid some of the disconnect she's previously experienced.