Induction: The Return of Virgil – Who? Mike Jones!

WWE, 2010

Ever since “The Wrestler” hit theaters in 2009, a lot of past-their prime superstars have been pegged as “The Wrestler in real life”: a former big name now living in the past and struggling with addiction or financial despair. Ric Flair, Scott Hall, Jake Roberts, and many others have been given that dubious distinction. One scene in that movie that didn’t ring true, though, was where Mickey Rourke’s character appeared at an autograph convention and barely anyone showed up. In real life, many wrestling fans have long memories and are still willing to fork over cash to own a piece of history or take a photo with their childhood heroes, even if they’ve fallen on hard times.

It therefore seemed odd that WWE would bring back Virgil, who had gained fame for not being famous anymore. Yet that’s exactly what they did in May 2010.

For a few weeks, Ted DiBiase, Jr. had been looking for an assistant, a sort of manservant who could watch his back and carry his bags. In other words, as R-Truth put it, “a Virgil.” Like Marty Jannetty, Virgil had become an archetypal character in wrestling lore.

And just as Jannetty made a brief return after Miz and John Morrison argued over which one was the “Marty Jannetty” of their team, Virgil capitalized on his name being tossed around as an insult.

Now, when you bring back “legends,” they’re supposed to give a rub to a younger wrestler trying to get over. Think of Dusty Rhodes and his sons, Ric Flair and Evolution, or Bret Hart and the Hart Dynasty. In this case, if anything, it was Ted DiBiase who was giving a rub to Virgil. That’s all kinds of backwards.

Virgil’s moment in the spotlight was to end at the Over the Limit pay-per-view, where he would accidentally cost Ted his match against R-Truth. This was to spell the end for Virgil’s stint. Fortunately, if there was one thing Mike Jones couldn’t care less about, it was spelling.

See, the plan was for DiBiase to fire Virgil for costing him the bout, but R-Truth ended up slapping Ted so hard, Virgil’s boss got a concussion and couldn’t remember the planned finish of the match, so Virgil got to keep his gig. With one slap, Ron Killings had no doubt earned Virgil more money than all of his convention appearances combined.

What was supposed to be a six-day, two-show stint ended up lasting weeks, allowing Virgil to make his return to the ring after DiBiase recovered from his head injury. Virgil teamed with Ted, Jr. in a losing effort against former nWo teammate The Big Show and the guy from Royal Pains.

Ouch. He didn’t even get to execute his patented Bodyguard Bash.

But hey, money is money.

The good times would not last forever for Virgil, though, as Ted replaced him with Maryse, who could take care of his needs better than the former Million Dollar Champion. But what about protection? Ted said he would just go to the drug store.

RIP Nelson Frazier. In related news, Trojan and Durex have filed for bankruptcy.

Ultimately, Virgil’s return to WWE wouldn’t do anything for Ted DiBiase or Mike Jones himself, as Ted would end up retiring from the ring after failing to catch on, while Virgil’s merchandise tables are still as quiet as ever.

You would think that TNA would have snatched him up immediately, as this was around the same time they were hiring anyone who’d ever stepped foot in a WWF ring in the 90’s, like the Nasty Boys. The man who had previously been named to spite Dusty Rhodes, Vince McMahon, and eventually Shane McMahon could have had a run in Orlando as “Paul,” but it wasn’t meant to be.

Still, you’ve got to hand it to Virgil for squeezing himself into the picture, even though absolutely nobody wanted him there.

A wrestling fan ever since the days of Wrestlemania IX, Art graduated from college in the same building where Art Donovan called King of the Ring 1994. He also runs the "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" blog, where he reviews New Generation-Era Monday Night Raws. Follow him on Twitter @Art0Donnell.
Email at: art@wrestlecrap.com

I saw Virgil a few months ago at a large flea market in Louisville. He had that banner with Ted Dibiase and his names on it. My friends and I wondered where Dibiase was until we realized that he wasn’t there and that must of been his only banner. He was there trying to sell autographs and bootlegs of his matches for $20. I saw only one or two people stop by.

Also, Greg “The Hammer” Valentine was there on the opposite side of the flea market. He was selling autographs as well. He also had a sweet laserdisc of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre for sale in his booth.

I think I’m one of the few that got an autograph from Virgil at a convention, it wasn’t pretty though. The guy basically begs people to come to his table, and he acts like a crack addict who can barely speak English. This was back in 2003.

I’ll admit it, I always liked Virgil. As the WWF would constantly remind us, he was unique in that he was billed as a Bodyguard and/or Manservant as opposed to the more recognized Manager or Valet.

Once he broke away from DiBiase I thought he could have gone on to do something, which he did; job spectacularly.

I have two favourite Virgil moments and sadly (or not) they are both at his expense.

The first one was at the 89 Survivor Series after he took a DDT from Jake the Snake. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone sell the move as well as Virgil. Then when DiBiase rolls Virgil’s corpse out of the ring to the floor, good times.

The other time was shortly after he turned face. I forget when it was but he was with Roddy Piper and Piper asked him something along the lines of what it takes to be a man (I really have no idea what Piper actually said) and Virgil responds by spelling out his name.

After that, the first thing Jesse Ventura says is “Wow, after all that training Virgil learned how to spell his name” which I am pretty sure was followed by a “Will you stop?” by Gorilla Monsoon.

This is so sad it’s funny. The most sad part was Mike Jones trying to sell autographs in the NYC subway. I had seen the first “Lonely Virgil” pic awhile back & couldn’t stop laughing. $20 for a Virgil autograph? 20 cents sounds more like a good price.

Last time I talked to old Virg at a conl he told me he made $50,000 a month wrestling on Japan. Unfortunately for him I can read enough Japanese and had a smartphone. When I asked him why I couldn’t find him booked where he claimed. He got all mad.

The only way he’s making $50k a month in
Japan is if some Yakuza…..needs a valet…companionship you know?

I’ve heard stories from others who’ve dared approach Virgil’s booth say that he’s claimed to have headlined a Wrestlemania against Hulk Hogan and that he was the one who lawn-darted Rey Mysterio. I’d like to think that these are exaggerations. But when you see him having set up shop in parking lots and subway stations you know the stories must be true.

What is sorely lacking from this induction is Virgil becoming the first person Santino Marella successfully hit with the Cobra. Up until that point, nobody sold the move when Santino hit them with it, but not only did Virgil sell it…he sold it TERRIBLY! If any part of Virgil’s return was wrestlecrap, that was it.

Caught a house show in Lansing, MI, during the Dusty / MDM feud,
(Not sure if they still do it, but WWE used to book double shots on weekends. Why ONLY work Lansing on a sunday, when you can Work Lansing at 1p for a matinee, and then be in Grand Rapids or Kalamazoo or Muskegeon for an evening show?)

So the boys wouldn’t work too hard at any one show…

Paid for the pleasure of them card subject to chang-ing Dibiase out of the show, and watching Virgil beat Dusty on a roll-up-with-tights after 45 seconds of action. Even when the camera wasn’t rolling, Virgil was doing all the heavy lifting….

I was at a WCW house show once (no, I didn’t pay for it, the tickets were free) and the (negative) highlight was a ~50 minute match between Virgil (I guess he was known as Vincent of the nWo B-Team then) and Gentleman Chris Adams. The most long-winded and boring match I’ve ever seen. One of the rest holds was over 10 minutes long!
I guess they were stalling for time for some talent (Nash and Sting, I believe) that was booked to go after them no-showed (and nobody told WCW that, so they thought they’d be late).
Curiously, the 3 Minute Squash match where Goldberg held Vincent’s fellow nWo B-Teammate the Giant (during his smoking on the way to the ring days) up for the Jackhammer for over 1 minute before slamming him to the mat with the ring moving a couple of meters was alot more entertaining than that super-long Virgil/Adams match.

I forgot to mention in the post above that after WCW finally realized their advertised main eventers wouldn’t show up, they offered refunds for the tickets. Even the (many) people that got free tickets to the show and demanded a refund were granted one. I wonder if those refunds were deducted from Virgil’s paycheck and are the reason why he is charging such insane prices for his autographs and bootlegs these days.

I used to read a blog called the Virgil Bag. it was all funny and/or sad stories about people meeting Virgil at the cons. but Mike Jones found out it on Twitter and bitched about it so they stopped doing it. should have checked Tumble for another version, thanks Art!

I met Mike Jones in 2003 at a mall where he was signing and he was as nice as could be, not even charging for his autograph. I even mentioned that I had interviewed Ted about his ministry a couple months before. What were the odds? I hope things go better for him. I’m a sucker for a story with a happy ending.