Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Monty Explains It All

but first...I got a haircut today, for the first time in 2 1/2 years. Some day I'll post a picture of my last haircut...and you'll understand why I waited so long.But this one turned out fabulously.

My daughter's homework...they were given 3-word sets that you had to make a compound word out of. You know: quarter, running, half~~the kids had to add back. This one took even me a few minutes to figure out...HandLitheWin

WHO uses the word WINSOME anymore?! Or LITHESOME? And could reasonably expect third graders to know it? Just curious...Perhaps some isn't the right word to use. Any other ideas, gang?

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Well, hot damn! I knew I'd find some use for my education...Now, our featured presentation...

For those of you who requested a bit more information about Russell Crowe and me...you can't say you haven't been warned that it sounds more exciting than it is.

Okay, so, most big Russell Crowe fans are aware that he has a band. It's called Thirty-Odd Foot Of Grunts (called so after some footage from the film Virtuosity)...or TOFOG for short.I (and several online friends that I got to meet in person) went to Austin, Texas a few years ago for a TOFOG concert. In the middle of summer. For those of you who've never been to Austin in the summertime...don't go. It's miserably hot.But I digress.After waiting in the hot sun for hours and hours, sweaty tickets clutched in sweatier palms, we finally got to enter the venue~~Stubb's BBQ. They've a sort of outdoor amphitheater in the back. As my group had sacrificed our very health by the hours we risked certain heatstroke, we were amongst the first ones to show our tickets and race toward the stage. We managed, with much cursing, pushing, and shoving, to secure for ourselves some PRIMO places right in front of the stage. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.Up close and personal with Russ.Fabulous. Yum. Delightful. Hot and sweaty.I had a bandana in my pocket, to catch those unsightly drips of sweat before they could roll themselves down my forehead and into my eyes.

Of course, when Russell and band started really a-jammin', they got hot and sweaty too. Then...Russell shook his head back & forth, spraying everything within 5 feet with glistening drops of perspiration.I was within two feet of him. If he'd have had on a skirt, I'd have been able to look right up it.

I basked in the Crowe-sweat for a few seconds, then took my bandana and mixed our body fluids together for all of time.I keep the bandana in a plastic bag. Is that weird?

AFTER the concert, whilst my group and I were waiting for a cab...RUSSELL CAME OUT OF THE VENUE.THE CAR STOPPED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, as I was waiting at the curb.

ME: Hey, great show! We really loved it. You rock! thinking: you rock? DUMBASS! THINK OF SOMETHING CLEVER TO SAY!RUSSELL: Thanks, we had a good time.ME: You guys were amazing (still, nothing clever is jumping to mind)RUSSELL: Yeah, thanks, we're pretty worn out by it. Thanks for coming to the show.

And with that, he drove away...*sigh*But I'll always have the sweat.And Russ & I...well, we'll always have Austin.