Castor Troy: Oh, oh, oh, I see I-I'm bluffing. Maybe I am, but then maybe I am not. Besides, what would you do when you lock me up? You'd drive your wife and kid crazy! Say, how is your daughter, anyway? Your... your darling Jamie, your little peach? Is she ripe? Ri-ripe-ripe-ri RIPE!! [pulls the trigger but there is no bullet. Castor drops his gun]

[Archer sits down to interrogate Sasha]

Sean Archer: Hello, Sasha. When was the last time you saw Castor Troy?

Sasha Hassler: Who cares? He's dead.

Sean Archer: Answer the question.

Sasha Hassler: I know my rights. I don't have to answer shit.

Sean Archer: You're right. But know this: you're a convicted felon, on probation for harboring Castor Troy. One phone call from me and your son will end up in a foster home. [beat]

Sasha Hassler:[takes a deep breath] I understand why you would use such a threat. But you try to take him away from me, I swear to you....I haven't seen him for years.

[Archer looks at her for a moment. He then gets up and goes to another interrogation room where Dietrich is sitting]

Sean Archer: This reeks of you. It's got your signature all over it. [Dietrich gives a hard look at Archer]

Dietrich Hassler: Maybe. But you ain't got nothing on me, and you know it.

Sean Archer: Maybe so. But I can keep you within city limits, or I can talk to your sister again. She's right outside. [Archer backs away from Dietrich] Only this time, I'll be nice. [He walks around the table Dietrich is sitting at]

Dietrich Hassler: Hey, Sean, how's your dead son?

[Dietrich breaks out laughing. Archer suddenly pushes him to the floor by the neck and jams his pistol into Dietrich's eye]

Dietrich Hassler: I don't know anything! Okay! Okay, I heard something about the 18th, but that's all I know! [Archer puts his pistol away]

Tito Blondi: Great, so we've got a date. Now where the hell's the damn bomb?

Sean Archer: Only Pollux Troy will know that.

Hollis Miller: It's your call, Sean.

Sean Archer: Does Lazarro know your plan?

Hollis Miller: No, this is a black bag operation. Strictly off the books. You can't tell Lazarro, and you can't tell your wife.

Sean Archer:[rubs his cheeks] Oh, god. What are you asking me to do? Okay, let's see. You're asking me to break the law, risk my neck, and you're asking me to put in the dark all the people that're above me and trust me. [He takes a deep breath] I'll do it.

Sean Archer: I was in a coma! Jesus, you're still so frickin' paranoid! Aren't they giving you your medication in here?

Pollux Troy: What was my medication?

Sean Archer:[sighing in "exasperation"] Pollux, I hand-fed you those pills for years. Vivex! I haven't forgotten that. It's just everything else. My reflexes, my synapses, it's all like a... tab of bad Quantrax. I don't even know why that fucking Yeti jumped me the other day.

Pollux Troy: Dubov? You had a sex sandwich with his wife and his sister the night he was sent here.

Sean Archer: Well, that explains why he was so upset. We're gonna blow up L.A., bro. Ain't that cool?

Sean Archer:' It's so fucking unfair! That bomb you built does deserve an audience. I mean, it's a work of art, it belongs in the Louvre.

Pollux Troy: Yes, it does. Oh well, I guess the L.A. Convention Center will just have to do.

Sean Archer:[rejoices to himself] Thank you.

Pollux Troy: For what?

Sean Archer: Oh, bro. You are so fuckin' pathetic.

[Archer is posing as Castor at Erwhon when a guard opens his cell door]

Guard: You've got a visitor.

[Cut to Archer entering the visitor's room. The magnetic boots clamp into place. A door then opens, revealing Castor Troy with Archer's old face. As they exchange looks, Castor smirks. He then cocks his head, walks across the room, and eventually breaks into a wide grin]

Castor Troy: Oooooo-WEE, you're good lookin'! Ya hot!

[Castor steps towards Archer]

Castor Troy: It's like looking in a mirror, only not. [Castor walks around Archer]

Sean Archer: Tito! [In a flashback, Castor drops his cigarette lighter into a puddle of gasoline, sparking a large inferno]

Castor Troy: I torched all the evidence that proves you're you, okay? So, wow! [looks at watch] Looks like you're going to be in here for THE NEXT HUNDRED YEARS!! Now, I have got to go. I've got a government job to abuse and [whispers into Archer's ear] a lonely wife to fuck. Oh, I'm sorry...make love to! God, I miss that face! [He licks the side of Archer's face. Archer promptly grabs Castor by the neck, throws him to the floor, and attempts to strangle him]

[Castor drives into Archer's neighborhood and glances at the various houses as he drives by]

Castor Troy: Look at this place. I'm in hell! I may never do a hard on again.

[Eve is just coming down the front steps when Castor drives past the house. He recognizes her a moment too late and slams on the brakes]

Castor Troy: Oh, yes. Here we go.

[He speedily backs the car up to the curb. As he gets out, he pulls down his sunglasses and smirks at Eve]

Dr. Eve Archer: Well I suppose it was only a matter of time before you forgot where we lived.

Castor Troy: Come on, give me a break. Every house on this block looks the same. [walks around Eve] The nice part of you....Eve. My one and only Eve.

[Castor finds Eve's diary in her desk drawer. He flips it open to a recent entry]

Castor Troy: "Date night. Fizzled again. We haven't made love in two months." What a loser. [He ponders, but suddenly hears "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag" playing. Cut to Jamie in her bedroom chatting on the phone with her boyfriend in just her underwear and t-shirt as the music plays on her stereo]

Castor Troy:[inhales] The plot thickens... [Jamie looks up and glares at Castor]

Jamie Archer:[on the phone] Hang on a second. [She attempts to slam the door in Castor's face. Castor steps forward and keeps it from closing] I'll have to call you back. [hangs up] You're not respecting my boundaries.

Castor Troy: I'm coming in, Janie.

Jamie Archer: Janie? [Castor glances at Jamie's bed pillow, with her name stitched on it]

Castor Troy: I don't think you heard me, Jamie. You got something I crave. [Castor presses himself up against Jamie as he reaches around her to grab her cigarettes]

Jamie Archer: Clarissa left those here.

Castor Troy: Oh, well I won't tell mom if you don't. [He lights a cigarette]

Jamie Archer: When did you start smoking?

Castor Troy: You'll be seeing a lot of changes around here. [blows smoke rings in Jamie's face] Papa's got a brand new bag! OW! [Jamie laughs. Castor slowly walks out of the room singing along to the music]

[Castor walks into the FBI observation room as Wanda and Buzz watch Pollux eating a gourmet meal, singing opera, and waving his utensils like a conductor]

Castor Troy:[sits down in a chair] This isn't you. You haven't been the same since Mike died. Hiding behind someone else's face, trying to hide the pain. While were talking, do you have protection?

Jamie Archer: Protection? You mean like a condom? [Castor pulls a butterfly knife from his pants pocket]

Castor Troy: Protection. Next time, let Karl take his pants down, slip this in his thigh, twist it, so the wound won't close. Go on. Get out of here. [Jamie leaves; Castor reclines in his chair] I am the king.

[Castor and Archer are divided by a glass wall and have their guns drawn]

Castor Troy:[sighs] I don't know what I hate wearing worse: your face or your body. I mean, I certainly do enjoy boning your wife, but let's face it, we both like it better the other way, yes? So why don't we just trade back?

Sean Archer: You can't give back what you've taken from me.

Castor Troy: Oh, well... plan B. Lets just kill each other.

[Castor sits down in his office to sulk. Seconds later, Lazarro comes in]

Victor Lazarro: Sean? Look, we're friends. So I'm going to tell you face-to-face. I don't give a damn if you are TIME's Man of the Year. After last night's bloodbath, I am terminating your war on terrorists. [Castor's eyes flash with rage]

Castor Troy: Is that because I'm getting all the kudos, and you're not?

Castor Troy: OK, Victor, I'll, uh, give the taxpayers a break. [puts his hand on Lazarro's shoulder] But I've got something I'd like to confess. I don't think you're going to like it. [puts his mouth on Lazarro's ear] I am Castor Troy... [He throws Lazarro to the floor and punches him in the chest hard enough to stop his heart completely. Castor collects himself and picks up his desk phone]

Castor Troy: Timmy? Kim?

Kim: Yes?

Castor Troy: Call paramedics. Victor Lazarro's had a heart attack.

Kim: I'll come right away.

Castor Troy: Thank you.

[Castor-as-Archer, and Archer-as-Castor, are in a Mexican standoff in the church]

Sean Archer: This is between us. Leave them out of it.

Castor Troy: No. You should have left them out of it. Your son was an accident. I wanted to kill you. But, you took it so personally. Why couldn't you just kill yourself or let it go?