Obsessed TV Report Card: Welp, THIS Might be the Worst New TV Show of the Season So Far

Mehhhh. I really wanted to like Made in Jersey. And then I started watching it.

In the first two minutes, Martina got in a saucy altercation with a guy on the corner, did some sort of stained-top bra-snipping MacGyvering I totally didn't understand, and My Cousin Vinnied a case in a staff meeting. "My sistah's a mah-nicurist."

I get it. She's Italian, and she's from Jersey. As someone who's half-Italian and has about 60,000 first cousins who live in Jersey, I know a LOT of colorful characters, and Martina unfortunately represents none of them. Watching her, I yawned. And wondered why her hair had no visible product in it. (Although, perhaps in the interest of authenticity, her hair did get bigger as the episode progressed--I swear.)

I don't know, the whole thing just felt a little half-a$$ed to me, you know? So many references to Trenton, the shore and beauty school, so little heart. Bottom line: it felt like a very long hour. I'm giving it a C- or...