Dark Horse Candidate Gary Johnson Planning To Win On Pagan Vote

We get several hundred emails a week from Gary Johnson’s presidential campaign begging us to go on some “blogger call” or another to hear Gary Johnson discuss his favorite jogging apps or mandatory marijuana for third graders or whatever, but we have largely ignored him because, eh, there can be ONLY ONE TRUE libertarian in the race (according to a rule we just made up), who is Ron Paul. But not everyone ignores Gary Johnson’s calls, as it turns out:

Gary Johnson’s unorthodox campaign for the Republican presidential nomination continued Sunday, when he spoke at a Google+ town hall conducted by representatives of various pagan media outlets.

The former New Mexico governor spoke with members of the Pagan Newswire Collective, ModernWitch Podcast and Patheos.com, among others. He said it was important to reach out to voters that fall outside the Christian, Jewish and Muslim faiths, and slammed his own party for being too beholden to the Christian right.

“I think the world looks down on Republicans for their socially conservative views, which includes religion in government,” Johnson said. “I think that should not play a role in any of this. When Republicans talk about values — you know what? I bet you and I have the same values.”

From my experience, they're mostly a bunch of lesbian or bi hippie chicks; not exactly the Republican base no.

Guppy06

"they're mostly a bunch of lesbian or bi hippie chicks;"

Now you're just making me nostalgic.

glamourdammerung

I have have the "pleasure" of meeting more than a few of the Asatru types and they tend to be in the "I am not a Nazi, I just happen to masturbate to my signed copy of 'Mein Kampf'"/Paultard crowd.

SayItWithWookies

That's a long-neglected Republican demographic right there — I'm sure if Gary Johnson picks up some momentum he can combine the pagan vote with the Republican atheists, science teachers, artists and hackey-sackers and suddenly turn into a force to be reckoned with.

littlebigdaddy

I think there may be some overlap with Greater Paultardia.

Michele_Blachmann

Oh, yeah, all twelve of them.

mumbly_joe

Funny story: two of my best friends are a pagan science teacher and her quasi-libertarian online poker-player boyfriend.

Pretty sure they're both voting for Obama, though. Sorry Gary!

RadioOcupados

He still be hatin' on those atheists though.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

Everyone knows atheists have NO MORALS because they didn't go to Sunday school.

SorosBot

But what about us atheists who did go to Sunday school? Along with attending Catholic school, getting it from both sides of the Reformation.

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

Get over and comment on the Duh-baits, man!

Michele_Blachmann

Not you TOO! ZOMFG.

And here I thought I was the ONLY atheist ever who went to a Baptist Sunday school on weekends and to a Roman Catholic school on weekdays!

SorosBot

Lutheran Sunday school here, but yes to both. My mom's a Lutheran, while dad's an agnostic who taught (retired after last June) at an expensive private Catholic school that me & my brother went to for free.

Michele_Blachmann

Thank god, we're not twins separated at birth. My father was an atheist and my mother was an Orthodox. Why they sent us to a fucking Baptist Sunday school and a Catholic school is completely beyond me. But there ya go. They've always been crazy.

Getting the pagan gods on his side could be a shrewd move by Johnson; let's face it, Hercules or Thor could kick Jesus' ass any day of the week, and he'd just stand there and turn the other cheek.

OneYieldRegular

Johnson seems to be using the same strategy as this current candidate for mayor of San Francisco (it's his reply to the question: "What was the most embarrassing moment of your life?").

Paul Currier:
"I was naked at school and it was recess and everyone saw me. It used to happen over and over in my dream. (smile) In real life? When I got caught for shoplifting at age five in a drug store. I peed in my pants. My arrest by the Drug Enforcement Administration for manufacturing and distribution of four to eight times more LSD that Owsley was not nearly so embarrassing. That happened on May 19th, 1986. I did not pee in my pants then. Oh well. From purple micro-dots, thru lots of blotter, windowpane, clearlight and my signature purple pyramid gells, I guess I did make a lot of Acid. That was then and this is now. I have not had the naked dream in decades. I also have not made any more Acid."

Michele_Blachmann

In his defense, he must have had a good working knowledge of SCIENCE to manufacture acid. No?

glamourdammerung

All the unicorn chasers I know are Paultards. But of course, there is an overlap between some of these pagan groups and white supremacists and well, we all know who their favored candidate is by now.

littlebigdaddy

Is this another Hitler thread?

V572-⁂½‡‡‡‡‡

If Big Debate had allowed this guy in, everybody'd be talking about him instead of John Huntsman.

I have to wonder about folks like Gary. He must know he doesn't have a Pebber Nodder's chance in Asgard of winning. Does he posses some monstrously delusional ego, or is he just doing it for the larfs?

ttommyunger

Well, at least he doesn't beg the question: "What the fuck is this guy smoking?" Everything, Katie.

http://for-the-turnstiles.blogspot.com 4TheTurnstiles

Seen around the Econ department at George Mason University (notoriously neoliberal and wingnutty): adverts for LIBERTY and GARY JOHNSON. I guess *someone* likes the guy. Analogy: Johnson is to Ron Paul as… ___________________

rickmaci

Somebody needs to check the Kool-Aid being served at Republitard gatherings. Either that or Obama has hired somebody to cast voodoo spells on the Republicans. He could well end up being the most unpopular man ever elected president simply because his opposition appears to be a bunch of whack jobs in need of serious medication and/or really bizarre weirdos.

Ducksworthy

There is only one Republican value and it is denominated in $$$$$.

gizdal

johnson will get the marijuana vote- a majority of americans now believe we should legalize marijuana, and there's his really constituency. win it, johnson, and let us have free weed.