Trials by Fire in Hostessing, Motherhood, Life

What Makes You?

One of the hardest lessons I’m still learning as a mother is the loss of control of my time. I am a teacher by trade, and a teacher’s day is scheduled down to the minute. Yes, there is a ton of work outside of the allotted school hours, but the school day is incredibly structured. I translated that structure into my personal life before kids: I walked my dog at a certain time, we had dinner at a reasonably structured time, I slept for an allotted number of hours per night, etc. Then I had kids and all of that blew up in my face. I can make a schedule and I can implement the beginnings, but the ending points are always up to the little people I created.

Sound familiar?

One thing that seems easy to accomplish for “breaks” within a day is spending time online. Obviously, I support this activity as I’m writing a blog. Online is a fantastic way to stay apprised with the parts of people’s lives that they deem good enough to share. It is not always a place to find true camaraderie or empathy. I’ve found that as a stay-at-home-mom of toddlers, I actually do have space within the day to decompress by surfing the net. Some of my “breaks” are when I put Courtis down for a nap (sitting in the rocker feeding him his bottle), getting distracted while surfing Pinterest for a recipe, getting distracted sitting in the car programming directions, etc. On days that I use that time to read funny snarky posts or scroll through “helpful” message boards that consist of moms deriding each other, I am in a grumpy mood. Shocking, I know. The days when I read only advice columns can make me feel frantic, like I’m doing everything poorly. However, when I’m able to devote this precious time of internet surfing to articles that are affirming, helpful, and creative, my day improves. To this end, I’ve found several amazing blogs about organization, decoration, and using your individual talents to help the world around you. Here are some lovely links:

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Katy teaches private voice lessons through Covington Music Studio and authored the inaugural blog for the Atlanta Master Chorale from 2016-2017. Additionally, Katy floats the high notes in the soprano section of the University Musical Society Choral Union. She has been a choral and general music teacher for Farmington Public Schools in Farmington Hills, MI, served as Director of Children's Music at the First United Methodist Church in Ypsilanti, MI, performed at Magnolia in the Baldwin Theater production of "Show Boat" and is a proud recipient of a Bachelors of Music in Voice Performance and Music Education from the University of Michigan. When she's not singing, she's caring for her two young kiddos, hard-working husband, and crazy dog (let's be honest - she's usually singing then too...) She's been singing since before she could talk, and is thrilled to continue to her music career in the Detroit area.

Totally holding onto a hobby or two once the kids come along. Thanks for the encouragement that that’s OKAY. I feel like so many moms insist (or model) you give up everything that makes you — you — in order to mother. That’s such a stifling view to me so your words have refreshed my soul. 🙂