Wednesday, 7 September 2016

How to spice up your boring sex life - you're welcome

Ever purposely gone into the doggy position because the sex is just so boring you need to hide your expressionless face from them, or to bury your head in the pillow so you can quit making bullshit fake orgasm noises or to have a quick glance at your watch to estimate how much longer of this torment there is.

There is nothing worse than ‘boring sex’, literally nothing. When you have been with your partner for a long time and the sex becomes too routine like and typical, missionary, doggy, missionary... you know that type.

So here is a list of things you can try out to spice up your sex life if you're lacking motivation and inspiration. These tips can also apply if you've just met someone and they're bad in bed or you just simply want to try some new things out.

Bondage and light choking

Not the most subtle to start with but… the sense of having no control or complete control is overwhelmingly arousing. It can open up a whole new sexual world for you to explore. Start with a blindfold and/or handcuffs and work your way up to 50 Shades of Grey style if you so wish.

Shove a pillow in there

You read that so wrong, urgh. There is a way to make missionary a little more interesting and it will also either help you to orgasm or actually make you orgasm. Next time you find yourself in that average position stack a pillow or two under your backside. He'll be able to enter you at a deeper angle than if you were just lying down flat.

Anal it up

Why do men love anal? I asked all my guy friends this and they all said the exact same thing ‘its just nice to try something different’ and ‘the hole is tighter’ of course… If done correctly and sensibly SOME women do enjoy it. If you want to try it just make sure you use a heck lot of lube and do it with someone you trust and feel relaxed with, if it is your anal virginity.

Modern day role play

Stick on an erotic film like 50 Shades of Grey and you and your partner copy out the scenes. It gives you the chance to try out loads of different things at once, while your man tries to outdo Mr Grey (trust me it will make him perform).

Textpectations

The simplest and easiest way to spice up your sex life is by teasing and yes, this can be kinkily done over text. It’s the middle of the day when he’s at work most likely bored out of his mind send him a sext, "If you can guess what colour my panties are, then I'll give you a blow job as soon as you walk through the door." – is my personal favourite. It gives him something to look forward to, it’s a challenge for him to guess right and he will be thinking about it all damn day. Word of advice – don’t overdo sexting. If you do it every single day it won’t be as thrilling.

Whip cream is always a winner

Food and sex always, and I mean ALWAYS, go together! Get a can of whipped cream and spray it where you want him to lick it. That’s just one of the ways you can make your blowjobs an experience he’ll never forget and it makes it more entertaining for you.

Fuck missionary lets get kama Sutra on

Head into your local bookstore right now and pick up Kama Sutra. If you haven’t heard of it is a book full of sex positions. Open t up with your partner, flick through quickly and whatever page it lands on you have to try that position.

Got a sex, relationship or dating question? Send them to me and I’ll help vavaviolett@outlook.com