there’s a formula for everything under the sun, so why can’t there be a simple formula for layering so we can all look like a real live human “Pin” that’s been “tried” “saved” and “shared” instead of looking like a Glamour “don’t” with the black rectangle across our eyes?

When you’re a little kid, layering is simple as it’s being suggested to you for matters of practicality; specifically warmth and comfort, as opposed to anything resembling fashion aspiration.

So why, for the love of God, when I attempt to layer in the name of fashion, style and self-expression do I end up looking less like Alexa Chung (desired result) and more like Joey when he wore all of Chandler’s clothes?

“could i be wearing any more clothes?”

I did some research, spent time in reflection, spoke to several experts in their fields and arrived at a few conclusions that i am going to employ this fall and winter in the name of successful layering. if you see me on the street, please let me know how i’m coming along.

The first conclusion is this: success begins at skin level. That means avoiding nipping-out at all costs.

nippage i can talk about because it’s pretty straightforward and out there (all puns intended all the time). you need to RUN to the drugstore and get Heidi Klum’s silicone nipple covers. RUN, woman! unlike those gawd-awful chicken cutlets of yore, these 50-cent piece size jobbies stick on through sweat, ocean swimming and shower time. they’re a godsend when worn on their own (sans bra for those who are in the mini boob club like me) and they make a good bra even better. did the inserts come out of your bathing suit or sports bra? nipple covers! are you attending an event at an ice hotel? nipple covers!

The second conclusion comes with giving yourself permission to bare arms as both the leaves and temperatures drop. A sleeveless top or cami after Labor Day? Yassss, kween. get over both rhyme and reason and wear a damn tank top under a blazer! live a little! still chilly? add a lightweight scarf of the infinity kind. your mother called? and told you to put on a coat? make it a fun coat, like a fuzzy leopard one and if it’s all too much or too bulky to drive around in, utilize the dry cleaning hangers in your car. hang your fuzzy coat on a good sturdy hanger from one of the dry cleaning hooks in your backseat, crank the heat up and slip the coat on once you’ve reached your destination.