Tevez

No sooner had I popped a decomposed pigeon heart in an envelope and scrawled FAO Chris Foy on the side with my own blood, (actually it was just red biro- I’m not a monster) I’m hearing word that Tottenham are ready to set off a dirty great rocket under their wage ceiling to sign facially challenged frontman, Carlos Tevez. For twenty million of your English pounds, no less. Well, certainly no less, but quite probably a whole lot more.

Here, just off the top of my head, are some reasons why this sounds rather fanciful: 1) Man City won’t sell him to us. I’m pretty sure loaning out Adebayor wasn’t one of the smartest moves in their transfer history and it’s highly unlikely they’re going throw us any more world class centre-forward-shaped bones 2) His wages are, at a modest estimate, f*cking ridiculous. Honestly, it’s just embarrassing. 3) The Spurs camp- from the outside looking in, at least- seems like a fun place to be at the moment. The mood is one of harmony and discord. Tevez, on the other hand- and again this is just conjecture- appears to be a massive pr*ck. And it’s his overriding pr*ckishness that might just be the problem. d) Wages. Seriously, it’s obscene how much he’s being paid to not kick a football around.

Kaka on the other hand. Now there’s a fiscally sound bit of business if ever I saw it. You heard.

Right, back to the real world. Let’s hear your teams for the Shamrock. What do you mean, are we still in that thing? Yes. Yes, we are, is the answer. I’m thinking Kranjčar and, ooh, let’s say Gomes. Yeah!

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12 Responses to Tevez

Yep, Carlos is a pr*ck, and the whole story is absurd. Wages aside, Harry would be bloody barmy to do what Juve are proposing (renegotiate all current players’ contracts to lower wages, just to accomodate a big whining nobber who won’t even kick a football in the Champions League for ten minutes), and I’m pretty sure most Spurs players would be against the idea even if he asked for only whatever it is that Livermore’s on. The man has previous. Lastly, yes, City must be regretting letting us have Manu; they’re hardly going to give us a whole bloody front line.

Kaka: sounds more realistic (he’s frustrated, wants a chance to reinvigorate his career, and hasn’t been over here yet but has often hinted at being interested). A rest-of-season loan with a view to a purchase at the end would be nice… Although I’m not sure where he fits into the squad at present, and he’s hardly going to want to be warming the bench, so it might mean upsetting someone by dropping them in spite of their good form. Still, wouldn’t say no.

I have to say, Harry and the coaching staff have really earned their corn the last two league games. Even though the tactical changes at Stoke didn’t produce the deserved result, it’s hard to argue Harry’s pulling of the strings didn’t have a significant effect. Likewise yesterday’s game, when the alteration to Spurs’ shape after Lennon’s injury was reasonably successful.

After they were forced to take Lennon off, the shape was sort of 4-3-1-2 with van der Vaart often playing the Modric role as the deep-lying playmaker and Modric playing the trequartista role, further upfield tucked in behind the strikers. But then Adebayor or Pav would pull wide left and the shape would look more 4-3-3. It was very fluid, with several guys playing in atypical areas of the pitch, which I think helped confuse a very determined and compact Sunderland team and finally produce some chances. Speaking of which, how did Modric miss that sitter eight yards from an open goal and dead center?!?

Sandro came up huge defensively, and Gallas was a rock at the back especially in the air. Man of the match for me was van der Vaart. Despite not scoring, I would say that was one of his best performances in a Spurs shirt. His passing and movement were sublime.

The 60-yard diagonal ball to hit Benny in stride, followed shortly by the volleyed pass out wide with the outside of his boot was a ‘triffic sequence. Tony Gale was making noises in the commentary booth that suggested he needed to clean up afterwards.

Dawson is also surprisingly adept at those long cross-field bombs. Always had him pegged as a bit of a lump when it came to distribution, but when Bale really came alive a couple years ago so did Dawson’s diagonal long balls.