tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-190160592018-02-14T17:58:57.039-05:00RMWC ReviewsRecalcitrant Male Watches CinemaK. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.comBlogger456125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-54753693371382947452018-02-12T21:56:00.000-05:002018-02-12T21:56:20.880-05:00Appendix N Review: Three Hearts and Three Lions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D2xHSjxoQAQ/WoJObkxsacI/AAAAAAAABko/7kP3stmcOxUWHvmkRrDCBpzFqPc0dwzSwCLcBGAs/s1600/Poul%2BAnderson%2B-%2BThree%2BHearts%2Band%2BThree%2BLions%2B-%2B1st%2Bed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="370" data-original-width="250" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D2xHSjxoQAQ/WoJObkxsacI/AAAAAAAABko/7kP3stmcOxUWHvmkRrDCBpzFqPc0dwzSwCLcBGAs/s320/Poul%2BAnderson%2B-%2BThree%2BHearts%2Band%2BThree%2BLions%2B-%2B1st%2Bed.jpg" width="216" /></a></div><br /><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Where, oh where, to begin with this one? There's so much packed into Poul Anderson's 1961 novel <i>Three Hearts and Three Lions</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> that a thorough review would go deep into spoiler territory. And its only about 200 pages.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Okay. First, the plot. Holger Carlsen is a Danish-born engineer and former college athlete living in Pre-WWII America. When the war breaks out, he returns to Denmark and hooks up with the Danish Resistance and during a desperate mission to extract a scientist to Sweden, a bullet grazes his head and he passes out.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Waking up, he discovers himself naked in a forest with a horse waiting nearby with a set of clothes, weapons and armor. As you do.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">The horse's name is Papillon (French for “butterfly”) and with the stallion, he rides to a cottage and gets advice from an old witch who sets him up with a dwarf guide named Hugi. Holger wants to know two things: How to get home, and who is this famous knight with a shield with three hearts and three lions that he's supposed to be.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">He encounters a young swanmay named Alianora. She's a human girl who was gifted a cloak that allows her to change into a swan. She, like most of the other people in this world, speak in a stylized dialect meant to sound archaic that takes some getting used to on the page.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gT726yDqWwI/WoJS3grm9oI/AAAAAAAABk0/3hAE5wU66m82sLdIr4HndbCDSLefkty3wCLcBGAs/s1600/Swanmay.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="403" data-original-width="391" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gT726yDqWwI/WoJS3grm9oI/AAAAAAAABk0/3hAE5wU66m82sLdIr4HndbCDSLefkty3wCLcBGAs/s320/Swanmay.jpg" width="310" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">After barely evading entrapment by the Elven King Alfric of Faerie, Holger has a run-in with Morgan Le Fay, who knows him from his forgotten past, and he and Alianora begin to fall in love, though his desire to return to the Earth that he knows prevents him from acting on his feelings for her.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Holger finds himself swept up in a grander cosmic conflict as a champion of Law against the fickle and deadly Faerie armies of Chaos. Werewolves! Magic Swords! Dragons! Riddling Giants! Trolls! Heroic Saracens! Comic Relief Wizards! Throwing an Elf into another Elf! True Love!</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2iwcveUAr9U/WoJS-83IRKI/AAAAAAAABk4/yUdJ68xBA3EtaqNFQlEvG-BD4Epjc7FEwCLcBGAs/s1600/Poul%2BAnderson%2B-%2BThree%2BHearts%2Band%2BThree%2BLions%2B-%2BSphere.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1414" data-original-width="863" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2iwcveUAr9U/WoJS-83IRKI/AAAAAAAABk4/yUdJ68xBA3EtaqNFQlEvG-BD4Epjc7FEwCLcBGAs/s320/Poul%2BAnderson%2B-%2BThree%2BHearts%2Band%2BThree%2BLions%2B-%2BSphere.jpg" width="195" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">Much has already been said about how much this story in particular has had an influence on the development of Dungeons &amp; Dragons. Law and Chaos are foundational for the alignment system. The rapidly regenerating troll at the end that can only be permanently harmed by fire is translated directly into the Monster Manual instead of the traditional Scandinavian rock troll (though the fight with this troll is far more hardcore than anything I've seen presented in other stories). Swanmays, Nixies, Unicorns, all have their folkloric predecessors, but again, they are translated almost directly into D&amp;D creatures from this book. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jvFsHNny7X0/WoJTIySZviI/AAAAAAAABk8/t4fFPnXWkqsRy_niydTJ69klT3-tPt38QCLcBGAs/s1600/AD%2526D%2B2e%2BTroll.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="300" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jvFsHNny7X0/WoJTIySZviI/AAAAAAAABk8/t4fFPnXWkqsRy_niydTJ69klT3-tPt38QCLcBGAs/s320/AD%2526D%2B2e%2BTroll.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Paladin, though, is one of the most famous/infamous D&amp;D classes, and it comes from this book. Everything the Paladin class does in Advanced Dungeons &amp; Dragons is done in this story. Detect Evil? Yep. Character is bonded to a special mount? Yes. Immune to fear? Yes (though in Holger's case, much of it comes from being a man of action and an engineer trying to figure out practical reasons for why magic is happening around him) Laying hands on the sick to heal them? Symbolically, yes. Losing certain protections and bonuses when he begins to have impure thoughts? Yes.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">Its all there. This book is the bridge between Charlemagne's heroic knightly warriors and Gygax's knights in heavenly armor. I knew that going in, and it still blew my mind to see it in action. (Incidentally, I recommend reading </span><i>The Song of Roland</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, where Charlemagne's paladin Roland gets his famous last stand. Badass action and Charlemagne pulling on his beard in grief abounds)</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">The key to Holger's powers is faith. True faith. Cold Iron, the Cross, and sincere invocations of Jesus Christ all cause physical harm to the forces of Faerie, who are frequently described as having no souls. The tangible power of faith on this strange world shifts Holger from being a modern agnostic to someone who converts to Catholicism by the end (Anderson himself was apparently agnostic with a favorable attitude toward Christianity)</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cr9ki3y4xmQ/WoJTR1olMcI/AAAAAAAABlA/KY4xewsNISsm4WAjt5KTzF3lwLDrvob_QCLcBGAs/s1600/Poul%2BAnderson%2B-%2BThree%2BHearts%2Band%2BThree%2BLions%2B-%2BSFBC%2B50th%2BAnniversary%2Bcollection.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1063" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cr9ki3y4xmQ/WoJTR1olMcI/AAAAAAAABlA/KY4xewsNISsm4WAjt5KTzF3lwLDrvob_QCLcBGAs/s320/Poul%2BAnderson%2B-%2BThree%2BHearts%2Band%2BThree%2BLions%2B-%2BSFBC%2B50th%2BAnniversary%2Bcollection.jpg" width="212" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">The book features a lot of lighthearted comedy. Holger's no idiot, but he can be a blockhead, especially around pretty ladies. The book takes frequent pauses to think up scientific reasonings for things, like how a dragon would work, or the principles behind a dagger that can be lit on fire. These excursions never get </span><i>too</i><span style="font-style: normal;">long, but occasionally they get close.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">Then, when the book gets serious, it fully commits. When Holger is presented with the challenge of identifying a werewolf that is terrorizing a town, he gets put into an emotionally difficult situation. Without spoiling it, he has to choose between two grim options, and in true Paladin form, chooses a third. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">This book is nothing like the deconstructionist cynicism clogging modern bookshelves. Over and over and over, Holger Carlsen proves himself to be a true-blue White Hat style hero without ever becoming boring. Human and flawed, Holger's a dope with the ladies and a hearty drinker, but at every turn he tries to do good, and in return, becomes a better person and betters the world around him. This is the kind of heroism I've been starved for, and here it is, fully realized by a Grandmaster of Science Fiction. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">I can't recommend this book enough. Read it, if for no other reason than to understand how Paladin characters are meant to be played. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-awbQnirVsZg/WoJTYgDFRmI/AAAAAAAABlE/yKENrnBHjIESxgSaRpfyTpyPl0Ava85bQCLcBGAs/s1600/Poul%2BAnderson%2B-%2BThree%2BHearts%2Band%2BThree%2BLions%2B-%2BDarrel%2BK%2BSweet%2Bpainting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="981" data-original-width="736" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-awbQnirVsZg/WoJTYgDFRmI/AAAAAAAABlE/yKENrnBHjIESxgSaRpfyTpyPl0Ava85bQCLcBGAs/s320/Poul%2BAnderson%2B-%2BThree%2BHearts%2Band%2BThree%2BLions%2B-%2BDarrel%2BK%2BSweet%2Bpainting.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: normal;">Gorgeous Darrell K. Sweet cover for the Baen edition</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.49in;"><span style="font-size: large;">“<i>And some say he waits in timeless Avalon until France the fair is in danger, and some say he sleeps beneath Kronborg Castle and wakens in the hour of Denmark's need, but none remember that he is and has always been a man, with the humble needs and loves of a man; to all, he is merely the Defender.</i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.49in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.49in;"><span style="font-size: large;">“<i>He rode out on the wold, and it was as if dawn rode with him.”</i></span></div><br />K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-52591951539830330282018-02-06T21:06:00.001-05:002018-02-06T21:06:31.888-05:00Appendix N Review: The Scarlet Citadel<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zFxKhX5LZJo/Wnpd-FvkYrI/AAAAAAAABjw/i9EE7LBy7EomtN3F6XYu654enCLEvW1JwCLcBGAs/s1600/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BThe%2BScarlet%2BCitadel%2B-%2BWeird%2BTales2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="784" data-original-width="765" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zFxKhX5LZJo/Wnpd-FvkYrI/AAAAAAAABjw/i9EE7LBy7EomtN3F6XYu654enCLEvW1JwCLcBGAs/s320/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BThe%2BScarlet%2BCitadel%2B-%2BWeird%2BTales2.jpg" width="312" /></a></div><br /><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>The Phoenix on the Sword</i><span style="font-style: normal;">was published in December of 1932, and was an immediate success for Robert E. Howard. The following month, January 1933, </span><i>Weird Tales</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> would publish the next Conan story: </span><i>The Scarlet Citadel.</i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Conan, King of Aquilonia, is having a very bad day. His army was drawn into a trap and he himself is captured by a band of would-be usurpers: the traitorous ally Amalrus, the king of Koth, Strabonus, and Kothian sorcerer Tsotha-lanti. The first two want to kill him and be done with it, but Tostha wants to play with him before killing him because that's what evil sorcerers do.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">Conan refuses an offer to let him abdicate, and Tsotha has him thrown into the dungeon of his bright red fortress (a </span><i>scarlet citadel</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, if you will). Chained to a wall and facing down a giant snake, Conan escapes partly by luck, and wanders the dark recesses of the dungeon, encountering one of the sorcerer's horrific experiments after another. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nsp0D06va0s/WnperpL98wI/AAAAAAAABj4/nmeQkwGCsaEpBuMtUgCtD8YW-g4oDKXkwCEwYBhgL/s1600/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BThe%2BScarlet%2BCitadel%2B-%2BFrazetta%2BConan%2Bthe%2BUsurper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nsp0D06va0s/WnperpL98wI/AAAAAAAABj4/nmeQkwGCsaEpBuMtUgCtD8YW-g4oDKXkwCEwYBhgL/s320/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BThe%2BScarlet%2BCitadel%2B-%2BFrazetta%2BConan%2Bthe%2BUsurper.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">Eventually he rescues another prisoner from a giant plant monster. The grateful man recovers and reveals himself as another sorcerer: Pelias, and old rival of Tsotha-lanti's who was imprisoned for a decade. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Conan, knowing that Aquilonia would be thrown into chaos, needs to get back in a hurry, but has no way of getting there. Pelias has a solution. He magics up a strange flying beast and tells Conan not to think too hard about where it came from. Conan reluctantly does, and it flies him back to his capital where the beatings commence.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">The story segues into the chaos engulfing Aquilonia and how Conan's loyal retainers tried and failed to maintain order against a group of grasping nobles, and then a would-be usurper named Prince Arpello, who turns out to be an instant tyrant. Conan drops down onto a roof ready to go and after a very brief fight, grabs Arpello and throws him off the roof with a mighty heave, causing the usurper to smash on the stones below “like a mangled beetle.”</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Vk6D4xfsX2M/WnpeweI9CiI/AAAAAAAABkA/3L6VNYqAyj4wPnaGf3GCglJvdvAVKNkxQCEwYBhgL/s1600/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BThe%2BScarlet%2BCitadel%2B-%2BSavage%2BSword%2Bof%2BConan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="942" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Vk6D4xfsX2M/WnpeweI9CiI/AAAAAAAABkA/3L6VNYqAyj4wPnaGf3GCglJvdvAVKNkxQCEwYBhgL/s320/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BThe%2BScarlet%2BCitadel%2B-%2BSavage%2BSword%2Bof%2BConan.jpg" width="235" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sort of like <i>A Song of Ice and Fire</i>, only actually satisfying and not wasting your time with pages and pages of awkward sex and food descriptions.</span></div><br /> <div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">But we're not done yet. We're going into </span><i><b>SPOILER</b></i><span style="font-style: normal;">territory because the ending is really worth discussing. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Conan rallies his army for a pitched battle that deals with the mortal usurpers, and he runs down Tsotha-lanti on horseback and beheads the wizard.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Being a sorcerer, this doesn't stop him from trying to re-attach his body, but suddenly an eagle swoops down and carries the head off, laughing with Pelias' voice. The headless body takes off after it, and Conan is left wondering what the hell is wrong with wizards and their feuds and he just wants a drink.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rYHENobE26Q/WnpeuiI2E0I/AAAAAAAABj8/pqXkG1ofhZIxO8KqcF2JCuHanQqAP3S7QCEwYBhgL/s1600/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BThe%2BScarlet%2BCitadel%2B-%2BDark%2BHorse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1040" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rYHENobE26Q/WnpeuiI2E0I/AAAAAAAABj8/pqXkG1ofhZIxO8KqcF2JCuHanQqAP3S7QCEwYBhgL/s320/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BThe%2BScarlet%2BCitadel%2B-%2BDark%2BHorse.jpg" width="208" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">Both here and in </span><i>The Phoenix on the Sword</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, there are moments of dark comedy, and Howard delivers them exceptionally well. After the high tension of the entire story and the catharsis of the battles, dipping into screwball comedy doesn't hurt. It </span><i>has</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> to be deliberate comedy, since Conan's deadpan “I hate wizards” reaction is completely in character with a man used to dealing in concrete situations. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">That said, </span><i>The Scarlet Citadel</i><span style="font-style: normal;">features a similar plot to Conan's debut: King Conan has to deal with a plot to overthrow him. The solution involves stabbing many men. The execution is different. The fighting is larger scale and the Weirdness factor is ramped up dramatically. Tsotha-lanti's dungeon is a carnival of horrors, from plant monsters, invisible creepy things, a bloated monstrosity that weeps with a woman's voice, and deep pit leading down that feels </span><i>wrong</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. The giant snake is mundane by comparison. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>The Scarlet Citadel</i><span style="font-style: normal;">expands the scope of the Hyborean Age in every direction. Conflict is bigger, magic is stranger, and there's a bit of continuity discussing the “Mad Bard” Rinaldo from the first story. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Come for the badass fighting, stay for the weird magic. Its Robert E. Howard. Its Conan. Its a good time.</span></span></div><br />K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-21886264793108881022018-01-25T23:15:00.001-05:002018-01-25T23:15:44.856-05:00What Killed Urban Fantasy?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-42BmZuRrZIg/WmqqBJ7IRWI/AAAAAAAABi4/_szwG-Q4mFUAFIUBj1KRgZR7MCkKqNb4gCEwYBhgL/s1600/Urban%2BFantasy%2BGoogle%2BImage%2BSearch.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="631" data-original-width="1319" height="153" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-42BmZuRrZIg/WmqqBJ7IRWI/AAAAAAAABi4/_szwG-Q4mFUAFIUBj1KRgZR7MCkKqNb4gCEwYBhgL/s320/Urban%2BFantasy%2BGoogle%2BImage%2BSearch.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I like Urban Fantasy as a genre quite a lot. I like the blending of fantasy elements with modern trappings. I like the deep diving for weird monsters from around the world. It was booming a decade ago, and now nobody really talks about it. Why?</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c2NfhFNYEWY/WmqnoJKz1pI/AAAAAAAABiU/BaRIP2w9ntw_UssBu2Q3i30tnuI8nSIXgCLcBGAs/s1600/Neverwhere.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="499" data-original-width="319" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c2NfhFNYEWY/WmqnoJKz1pI/AAAAAAAABiU/BaRIP2w9ntw_UssBu2Q3i30tnuI8nSIXgCLcBGAs/s320/Neverwhere.jpg" width="204" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">My introduction was <i>Neverwhere</i><span style="font-style: normal;">by Neil Gaiman. Great book. Probably his best that isn't </span><i>Good Omens</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. But its a standalone. It doesn't need a sequel or a series. </span><i>American Gods</i><span style="font-style: normal;">was okay, but the ideas it played around with were better than the text itself, which tended to wander aimlessly in the heartland for chapters on end. I remember finding </span><i>Anansi Boys</i><span style="font-style: normal;">to be much more entertaining, but oddly enough, more forgettable. Still, I wanted more. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">From there I moved on to Jim Butcher's </span><i>Dresden Files</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. It kicks ass. Can't recommend it enough. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-93gAFk-Bm3E/WmqoAECLOZI/AAAAAAAABiY/iwn6k1s-jxAI8k6exnaA33fOpECwrVcCwCLcBGAs/s1600/Storm%2BFront.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="907" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-93gAFk-Bm3E/WmqoAECLOZI/AAAAAAAABiY/iwn6k1s-jxAI8k6exnaA33fOpECwrVcCwCLcBGAs/s320/Storm%2BFront.jpg" width="181" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I wish most of the rest of the genre wasn't garbage. <i>Something From the Nightside </i><span style="font-style: normal;">was pretty terrible (Sorry, Mike!) but that's for another day. Suffice it to say, I drifted away from the genre because it turned into a boom of clones sitting on shelves that all have the same covers of a man or a woman standing in a generic static pose, possibly holding a weapon. If there's a background, its a street at night. I started to write my own (which turned into a trilogy that's not quite ready for prime time, but Soon</span><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-style: normal;">™)</span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Today I discovered an essay written in 2008 by Lilith Saintcrow, who's a leading name in that genre. I have not read any of her works, but her name is familiar, and she's a prolific working author with a cool name. I respect that. I've also found out that I'm blocked by her on Twitter without ever having interacted with her, so...I don't feel too bad about critiquing a decade old essay on Urban Fantasy by someone who might be using a blockbot. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is the <a href="https://fantasyhotlist.blogspot.com/2008/12/ad-lib-column-lilith-saintcrow.html">essay</a>:&nbsp;</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">There are some things I agree with in the essay. Notably that UF carries a lot of heritage from old pulp detective fiction. I agree that the “Literature” and “Mainstream Fiction” genres get too much respectability from people who tell you their opinion on literature is important. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">That's kind of it, though. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I disagree that “lowbrow” is something negative. I disagree that Paranormal Romance is considered lowbrow and trashy because it its female. Its considered lowbrow and trashy because it doesn't try to be anything more than simple entertainment. Sci-Fi and Fantasy are usually considered trashy and lowbrow for that same reason. So are old comic books. So are old detective novels. I've come to respect works of fiction that get a reputation for being “trashy and lowbrow” because that's become an accurate code for “doesn't shove the author's message down your throat.” </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have never heard of anyone referring to Tom Clancy novels as “serious” literature before this essay, because the last time I checked, thrillers were in the same “trashy and lowbrow” ghetto with the rest of the fun books. Its all explosions, action and technology porn, <i>which is fine</i><span style="font-style: normal;"></span><i>for the audience that consumes it</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. Just like masturbatory fantasies about humping sexy vampire lords </span><i>is fine for the audience that consumes it</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. My mother read a LOT of Harlequin Regency Romance books while I was growing up. The covers and back of the book blurbs were all effectively identical. My mom knew they were simple entertainment that wasn't going to change the world. They served an audience that loved them and kept buying them, respectability be damned. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">“<span style="font-style: normal;">Respectable Literature” is a trap for anyone who pursues it.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">Its also insulting to female writers and characters of the past that to say Urban Fantasy is socially groundbreaking for making female action leads the protagonists. C. L. Moore's (a female author who absolutely outclasses most modern male authors)&nbsp;<a href="https://kestifer.blogspot.com/search?q=jirel">Jirel of Joiry</a> armored up and went into Hell so she could take revenge on someone who conquered her kingdom in 1934. <a href="https://kestifer.blogspot.com/2017/07/appendix-n-review-princess-of-mars.html">Dejah Thoris</a> has been kicking ass and taking names since </span><i><b>BEFORE WORLD WAR I</b></i><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">.</span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pfi0kr-9YI4/Wmqq6u1NiaI/AAAAAAAABjA/jQhk9kU-ZG45c0bSdiIHV8HcNYx-gU39wCLcBGAs/s1600/Jirel%2Bof%2BJoiry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="672" data-original-width="400" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pfi0kr-9YI4/Wmqq6u1NiaI/AAAAAAAABjA/jQhk9kU-ZG45c0bSdiIHV8HcNYx-gU39wCLcBGAs/s320/Jirel%2Bof%2BJoiry.jpg" width="190" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">They keystone of the essay though, and the part that I disagree with the most is that the key to the success of Urban Fantasy back in its 2008-era boom, was </span><i><b>Moral Ambiguity</b></i><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">. </span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">What does respectable literature have by the bushel? Moral Ambiguity. What does post-modernist thought have in copious amounts? Moral Ambiguity. What does pink slime fantasy and science fiction shove down the throats of people who showed up for magic and spaceships? Moral. Ambiguity.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Guess what rising genre bubble crashed less than a decade after its big boom?</span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="https://carriev.wordpress.com/2016/09/14/the-great-urban-fantasy-crash/">Oh right: Urban Fantasy. In 2016.&nbsp;</a></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Moral ambiguity drives audiences away, male or female. What makes Harry Dresden work is that he is a flawed but fundamentally good man trying to save people and punish evildoers at great personal cost. The reason I tossed <i>Something from the Nightside</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> aside after reading it was because John Taylor is a smug, selfish, </span><i>unlikable</i><span style="font-style: normal;">asshole antihero. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">That's what happens when you take an antihero, give them special powers, and then unleash them on a morally ambiguous setting. You have assholes on power trips who don't have to answer to anybody. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Villains, really.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OyT17UeG-Ew/WmqqgUXvDlI/AAAAAAAABi8/_GzHOqlieAkFNb1S6AYZA_2X5kdZDMiSwCLcBGAs/s1600/Something%2Bfrom%2Bthe%2BNightside.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="474" data-original-width="283" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OyT17UeG-Ew/WmqqgUXvDlI/AAAAAAAABi8/_GzHOqlieAkFNb1S6AYZA_2X5kdZDMiSwCLcBGAs/s320/Something%2Bfrom%2Bthe%2BNightside.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">I'm honestly surprised that an essay that lauds Raymond Chandler as an influence would sing the praises of moral ambiguity. Chandler's fiction is set in a dark, gritty urban environment, true, but Philip Marlowe is himself a rigidly moral hero. Not anti-hero. </span><i>Hero</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. Sure he drinks and smokes and occasionally sleeps with women, but these are minor flaws. Like his spiritual grandson Harry Dresden, Marlowe is working class hero who's operating in slums he really doesn't belong in, but he crawls through the crime and muck helping people who probably don't deserve it and bringing justice to villains who absolutely do. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uChR1n21aT0/WmqrNv4iW8I/AAAAAAAABjI/xlrD1QmTuDwR8S-z601uxkU20BHFp5QMACLcBGAs/s1600/Raymond%2BChandler%2B-%2BThe%2BSimple%2BArt%2Bof%2BMurder.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1173" data-original-width="770" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uChR1n21aT0/WmqrNv4iW8I/AAAAAAAABjI/xlrD1QmTuDwR8S-z601uxkU20BHFp5QMACLcBGAs/s320/Raymond%2BChandler%2B-%2BThe%2BSimple%2BArt%2Bof%2BMurder.jpg" width="210" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">“<span style="font-style: normal;">But down these mean streets a man must go who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid.”&nbsp;</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-size: large;">Chandler wrote that sentence in his essential essay “<a href="http://www.en.utexas.edu/amlit/amlitprivate/scans/chandlerart.html">The Simple Art of Murder</a>.” Its the core of the noir hero's appeal. Take a dark setting and throw an unflinchingly moral hero into the mix like a grenade.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; orphans: 2; widows: 2;"><span style="font-size: large;">What killed Urban Fantasy? Moral Ambiguity.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Addendum: Eagle-eyed readers will notice a lot of words in that essay from 2008 that sound awfully familiar in [Current Year]. Make of them what you will.</span></div><br />K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-46320439169465368482018-01-21T23:22:00.002-05:002018-01-21T23:22:52.406-05:00Appendix N Review: The Phoenix on the Sword<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QNJQyg4N3Pw/WmVlBARdgQI/AAAAAAAABhs/Jg6LaNpzNUUKCNptFLo6BUNkdxgGzwGsQCLcBGAs/s1600/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BPhoenix%2Bon%2Bthe%2BSword%2B-%2BWeird%2BTales.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1393" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QNJQyg4N3Pw/WmVlBARdgQI/AAAAAAAABhs/Jg6LaNpzNUUKCNptFLo6BUNkdxgGzwGsQCLcBGAs/s320/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BPhoenix%2Bon%2Bthe%2BSword%2B-%2BWeird%2BTales.jpg" width="278" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">In December of 1932, <i>Weird Tales Magazine</i>, arguably the premier supernatural horror pulp of the 30s, published a story from a young but regular contributor to the magazine named Robert Ervin Howard. Howard had been appearing in <i>Weird Tales</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> since 1925, contributing a wide variety action stories, from the stern-faced Puritan hero Solomon Kane to more straightforward horror that was part of fellow </span><i>Weird Tales</i><span style="font-style: normal;">contributor H. P. Lovecraft's mythos. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">This story was </span><i>Phoenix on the Sword</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, and it introduced the world to Conan of Cimmeria, barbarian conqueror, king, and indelible archetype.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">Set in an ancient, antediluvian age before recorded history, a conspiracy to assassinate the new king of Aquilonia festers in the kingdom's heart. Ascalante, a disgraced noble and outlaw, has banded together a group of powerful men to topple the crown. Most unique among them is Thoth-Amon, a black-skinned exile from Stygia, formerly a powerful sorcerer, now enslaved by Ascalante as a henchman. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">The new king, Conan, is miserable. He's a fighting man, a wanderer and adventurer now saddled with the responsibilities of rule. Despite his inconvenience, he is a fair ruler. He's lowered taxes, ensured that the people of Aquilonia aren't enslaved, and generally leaves people alone. But despite his benevolence, people like the bard Rinaldo sow discontent among the people. Conan's advisors have urged him to execute the rebellious poet, but Conan has resisted. He genuinely likes Rinaldo's skill, and is aware that killing him would make a martyr of him. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-us1XRxEiR10/WmVlH0RgIoI/AAAAAAAABhw/zkiXKMcmkjU9gmrr6fYwEcjSDjXaf57sQCLcBGAs/s1600/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BPhoenix%2Bon%2Bthe%2BSword%2B-%2BMarvel%2BSaga.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="937" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-us1XRxEiR10/WmVlH0RgIoI/AAAAAAAABhw/zkiXKMcmkjU9gmrr6fYwEcjSDjXaf57sQCLcBGAs/s320/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BPhoenix%2Bon%2Bthe%2BSword%2B-%2BMarvel%2BSaga.jpg" width="234" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Meanwhile, Ascalante moves ahead. Conan's guards will be drawn away from his bedchamber at midnight, and the conspirators (including Rinaldo) will attack. He sends one of them, the fat rich fool Dion to his estate to prepare to become the new king, with Thoth-Amon to keep watch over him.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">This leads to one of the funniest scenes in the book, where the Stygian tells the noble his history, how he had a ring that gave him phenomenal magic powers and what kind of status he enjoyed as a worshipper of Set. Dion, in his self-absorption, hasn't heard a word of it, only perking up when Thoth-Amon mentions his ring. By coincidence, it happens to be THE ring Thoth-Amon lost years ago. Comedic interlude over, the Stygian murders the hapless idiot, reclaims his treasure, and summons a demonic monster to murder Ascalante and anyone around him. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">In the meantime, Conan dreams of a black stone temple and the tomb of the ancient sage Epemitreus, dead for several thousand years, but even in death an enemy of the dark god Set. The sage marks Conan's sword with a phoenix marking, a holy symbol of Aquilonia's patron god Mitra, and warns him that Set's power is still active in the world. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-30jxvDD1Q3U/WmVlQKXrNKI/AAAAAAAABh0/hnJVVeDiNCAnjXYtcmUe0tsJfTPq5gKpgCLcBGAs/s1600/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BPhoenix%2Bon%2Bthe%2BSword%2B-%2BDark%2BHorse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="923" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-30jxvDD1Q3U/WmVlQKXrNKI/AAAAAAAABh0/hnJVVeDiNCAnjXYtcmUe0tsJfTPq5gKpgCLcBGAs/s320/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BPhoenix%2Bon%2Bthe%2BSword%2B-%2BDark%2BHorse.jpg" width="208" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">The stage is set for one hell of a battle. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">As always, Howard has a genius for describing action sequences. There is a choreography that flows beautifully even as blood and brain matter are splattered across the walls. The characters are lightly sketched out, but Conan is immediately likable as a wise, experienced adventurer with a wry sense of humor. Thoth-Amon himself stands out as a great villain, even though he doesn't ever interact with Conan nor really act against him. He gets his ring back, begins his vengeance against Ascalante, and disappears from Howard's Conan stories. He would appear again in later pastiches by other authors, but here he's an intelligent, strong, admirable (well, for a villain at least), nuanced, clearly Black character who demands respect from the reader. </span><i>In 1932</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-h9tucA-PvEo/WmVlV93ApEI/AAAAAAAABh4/zmYVLVwHig4qKorKgvtBFcFVWc7NGypeQCLcBGAs/s1600/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BPhoenix%2Bon%2Bthe%2BSword%2B-%2BDimensionBucket.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="324" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-h9tucA-PvEo/WmVlV93ApEI/AAAAAAAABh4/zmYVLVwHig4qKorKgvtBFcFVWc7NGypeQCLcBGAs/s320/RE%2BHoward%2B-%2BPhoenix%2Bon%2Bthe%2BSword%2B-%2BDimensionBucket.jpg" width="207" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">*Disclaimer: I'm friends with the guy who edited the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Phoenix-Sword-Robert-Howard/dp/1545357722/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1516594846&amp;sr=1-2&amp;keywords=phoenix+on+the+sword">above edition</a> of <i>Phoenix on the Sword. </i><a href="https://jimfear138.blogspot.com/">He's a good guy</a>. The cover artist <a href="http://kukuruyo.com/">is cool too</a>.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-style: normal;">The story itself is straightforward, almost simple in places, and was itself a re-work of a Kull the Conqueror story that didn't sell (Howard's </span><i>other</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, less successful, Barbarian Hero). Yet the blueprint is right there: a heroic loner pitted against the hazards of civilization and eldritch sorcery. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">It works, and it works well. Absolutely recommended.</span></span></div><br />K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-3443807172808468472018-01-17T20:42:00.000-05:002018-01-17T20:42:07.869-05:00Shelf Stagnation Part 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-utWRgIu8o2E/Wl_1wm0OWiI/AAAAAAAABgs/VkvPEyP_pSQMbUrUuX3U3EuloGcSbrEcwCLcBGAs/s1600/Larry%2BCorreia%2B%2526%2BJohn%2BRingo%2BMonster%2BHunter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1054" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-utWRgIu8o2E/Wl_1wm0OWiI/AAAAAAAABgs/VkvPEyP_pSQMbUrUuX3U3EuloGcSbrEcwCLcBGAs/s320/Larry%2BCorreia%2B%2526%2BJohn%2BRingo%2BMonster%2BHunter.jpg" width="210" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">On a lark, I decided to check up on the two local Barnes &amp; Nobles and see what the state of the SFF sections are like. I was also looking for some <i>film noir </i>in a reasonable price range. No such luck there. One Music &amp; Movies section was almost completely swallowed by Funko Pop figures and their dead-eyed stares. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">The second one had a small Buy One Get One stand and look what I found:</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2uUTyEyizqE/Wl_49wePpAI/AAAAAAAABg4/dgz1t1eh4P0agpnuA1BuM_24DQDWUO5igCLcBGAs/s1600/Ghostbusters%2Bdvd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="675" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2uUTyEyizqE/Wl_49wePpAI/AAAAAAAABg4/dgz1t1eh4P0agpnuA1BuM_24DQDWUO5igCLcBGAs/s320/Ghostbusters%2Bdvd.jpg" width="180" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">It was the only copy I saw in the store, too</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">The first one was in a tiny suburb with a surrounding population that was of the “Upper Middle Class and Above” class of Liberal. I don't say this as a knock against DA LIBRULS, but to give context. It has a Whole Foods and a Trader Joe's within a quarter mile of each other. Bernie Sanders would love it.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">The context is important, because I noticed a subtle but significant shift in SFF shelves. A lot more <i>Witcher</i>novels than before. Way more than I'd ever seen in one place. The Jim Butcher section was bigger. Frank Herbert's <i>Dune</i>series took up half a section and wasn't just the first book anymore. Robert Heinlein's area grew. There's a small patch of Michael Moorcock books. The big, fat <i>Chronicles of Amber</i>omnibus (that I already own) was back in stock. C. J. Cherryh had a big section all to herself. Edgar Rice Burroughs had staked out a little corner with the B&amp;N editions of <i>Tarzan</i>and <i>The Martian Tales Trilogy</i>collection. The Weiss &amp; Hickman <i>Dragonlance Chronicles&nbsp;</i>was on the shelves in a new-er edition. Friggin' <i>Dragons of Autumn Twilight</i> and everything.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2kMifQsfFK8/Wl_6byS0HuI/AAAAAAAABhU/lorntAG5h58KuppEcYSvnMy5jCxIOVZ2ACLcBGAs/s1600/Dragons%2Bof%2BAutumn%2BTwilight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="305" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2kMifQsfFK8/Wl_6byS0HuI/AAAAAAAABhU/lorntAG5h58KuppEcYSvnMy5jCxIOVZ2ACLcBGAs/s320/Dragons%2Bof%2BAutumn%2BTwilight.jpg" width="195" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sure, George R.R. Martin's <i>A Song of Ice and Fire</i>series took up an inordinately large section by itself. That's to be expected since the HBO show is still a big deal. But aside from Martin &amp; Gaiman, the only real TradPub big names I was able to recognize were Scalzi and Jemisin. I didn't even see Wendig aside from his <i>Star Wars</i>books. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Here's the kicker: Military Sci-Fi, especially Baen books, had a much bigger presence. In a very politically liberal section of town. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Crazy, right?</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Today I checked out the other one, in a more regular middle class outer ring suburb. Its more rural than the other one and has a wider political demographic. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Similar story. MilSF had a strong presence. Larry Correia had a strong presence. Heinlein's section was bigger. Mercedes Lackey had a big section. John Ringo had a big section/ Warhammer 40K had grown big enough to take up its own shelf. Shelf space that, if you took away the big promotional displays for <i>Star Wars</i>thanks to <i>The Last Jedi</i>, dwarfs the actual <i>Star Wars</i>section of the SFF aisle. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-deVWfAF0ZbY/Wl_68xc2WLI/AAAAAAAABhc/rmWxB-5iocsE0zchpY06QVIATNERAcUGgCLcBGAs/s1600/Scythes%2Bof%2Bthe%2BEmperor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="326" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-deVWfAF0ZbY/Wl_68xc2WLI/AAAAAAAABhc/rmWxB-5iocsE0zchpY06QVIATNERAcUGgCLcBGAs/s320/Scythes%2Bof%2Bthe%2BEmperor.jpg" width="208" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">This isn't to say that boring LitFic SFF wasn't there. It is, <a href="https://kestifer.blogspot.com/2017/02/shelf-stagnation.html">but in comparison to almost a year ago?</a></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">There is variety again. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Its no secret that Barnes &amp; Noble is struggling to stay alive. Selling books keeps it alive. You know what has dedicated, loyal fanbases who buy books? MilSF readers. Tolkien pastiche readers. 40K readers. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">While the variety has gotten better than its been in a couple years, early, <i>early</i>SFF still doesn't have much going. The only Pulps are Lovecraft, Howard &amp; Burroughs (arguably the Big Three Pulpsters, but still, I'd lose my mind if I saw Merritt on a B&amp;N shelf). </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">There's still the problem with boring cover art, but I did find one book that stood out visually. Legacy of the Demon by Diana Rowland, whom I've never heard of before. Its apparently the 8<sup>th</sup>book in a series, but just look at that cover. A ruined tank in the background, a big angry demon that's been shot a few times, and a lady about to stab a giant cattle prod in its big, dumb demon face. Action! Monsters! Pretty ladies kicking ass! I almost bought it on the strength of a cover with stuff happening on it alone, but the rest of the series has a lot of the standard “Protagonist standing and looking at something intently” that's endemic to the field. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jEJuAMolDrA/Wl_5N8DNNvI/AAAAAAAABg8/NfQmWOTF7V0uQXk8tAKssinqw7t4CmpUgCLcBGAs/s1600/Legacy%2Bof%2Bthe%2BDemon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="475" data-original-width="295" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jEJuAMolDrA/Wl_5N8DNNvI/AAAAAAAABg8/NfQmWOTF7V0uQXk8tAKssinqw7t4CmpUgCLcBGAs/s320/Legacy%2Bof%2Bthe%2BDemon.jpg" width="198" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">No idea if the series is any good, but bravo, good cover. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now, I don't think that this is some kind of sea change. I'm not sure if anything can save B&amp;N in the long term aside from big changes in the big publishers, and I don't see that happening.</span></div><div><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">What makes me consider this as a trend worth noticing, is that in the second store, there was an entire (small) shelf dedicated to Westerns. <i>Westerns</i>. I can't recall ever seeing a Zane Grey book in a Barnes &amp; Noble before. Mark my words, Westerns are quietly creeping back to life. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VBCJXyOr3P4/Wl_5n6duqUI/AAAAAAAABhE/mdEHj3ZPNq8YM-CQLqYkKHrqCxDg2Tx3ACLcBGAs/s1600/Zane%2BGrey%2BRiders%2Bof%2Bthe%2BPurple%2BSage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="622" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VBCJXyOr3P4/Wl_5n6duqUI/AAAAAAAABhE/mdEHj3ZPNq8YM-CQLqYkKHrqCxDg2Tx3ACLcBGAs/s320/Zane%2BGrey%2BRiders%2Bof%2Bthe%2BPurple%2BSage.jpg" width="199" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-44390038808781199042018-01-05T21:45:00.001-05:002018-01-05T21:45:36.254-05:00Appendix N Review: The Gods of Mars<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AdMGlBGblRg/WlA2YpwY4iI/AAAAAAAABfU/WSnqCN2WMioINCcCY2y67mc5z7FzR1AaACLcBGAs/s1600/Gods_of_Mars-1918.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="990" data-original-width="648" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AdMGlBGblRg/WlA2YpwY4iI/AAAAAAAABfU/WSnqCN2WMioINCcCY2y67mc5z7FzR1AaACLcBGAs/s320/Gods_of_Mars-1918.jpg" width="209" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">After the events of <i><a href="https://kestifer.blogspot.com/2017/07/appendix-n-review-princess-of-mars.html">A Princess of Mars</a></i>, John Carter returned to Earth and spent ten long years trying to find a way back. In our world, Edgar Rice Burroughs produced the sequel, <i>The Gods of Mars</i>, in 1913, a year after <i>Under the Moons of Mars </i>was serialized. Like its predecessor (and <i>Tarzan of the Apes</i>, which he published in 1912 also), <i>The Gods of Mars</i>was serialized in the <i>All-Story</i><i>Magazine</i> incarnation of Argosy. It would be published in novel form in 1918.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">John Carter returns to Mars in a way similar to how he first got there: by astral projection/wishing really hard. Again, the “How” he gets there isn't important, its just a means to an end. He arrives on Barsoom the same way as the first time: bare-ass naked. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Only this time, he's in a scenic forest in a river valley.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Populated by white apes and carnivorous tree-men that want to kill and eat anyone who arrives.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Welcome to Martian Heaven: The Valley Dor, endpoint of the sacred River Iss. Leaving the valley is considered blasphemy and cause for execution.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Martian Heaven sucks.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">On arriving, John sees some Green Martians attacked and killed by the local fauna, and rushes to the aid of the lone survivor, who happens to be Tars Tarkas, Jeddak of Thark and Carter's best friend on Mars not named Woola. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YeL5n4yG7no/WlA2qT-FT4I/AAAAAAAABfY/TnOYnST0vKYCQPOUktsuv2PyXJqDrqoRwCLcBGAs/s1600/gods_of_mars-michael%2Bwhelan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="994" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YeL5n4yG7no/WlA2qT-FT4I/AAAAAAAABfY/TnOYnST0vKYCQPOUktsuv2PyXJqDrqoRwCLcBGAs/s320/gods_of_mars-michael%2Bwhelan.jpg" width="193" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">The two fight their way out of the forest and into the cliffs of the valley, where they find the Holy Therns, white skinned Martians who claim to be the gods of Mars and control the creatures of the valley, enslaving anyone who survives them. They also wear cute little blonde Prince Valiant wigs because they're bald and vain. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">John kills one of their priests, takes his wig and costume as a disguise, rescues a Red Martian woman named Thuvia, and the three rampage their way through the Thern fortress, reaching the top only to find it attacked by sky pirates. John sends Thuvia and Tars Tarkas off and boards one of their airships, killing the crew save one, Xodar, a prince of the Black Martians, the self-proclaimed First Born of Mars, and incidentally, a people also claiming to be gods. He also rescues a White Martian girl, Phaidor, who falls in love with John, but John is faithful to his wife Dejah Thoris, and is also disturbed by Phaidor's casual cruelty. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Xodar has some tricks up his sleeve, and John &amp; Phaidor are captured by reinforcements, and taken to Omean, an underground sea where the Black Martians make their home. The First Born are ruled by the cruel (self-proclaimed again) goddess Issus, and like the Therns, they enslave the other Martian races to serve them and fight in their arenas.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hmm: long-lived, beautifully-featured, ebony-skinned, underground raiders who worship a cruel goddess and love to party at the expense of others.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-r-rXbqxMpKo/WlA3YMLBEwI/AAAAAAAABfk/3uVix5DoFxkYEYvitvvo9wiKCT4chRTYQCLcBGAs/s1600/drow%2Bfiend%2Bfolio.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="412" data-original-width="386" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-r-rXbqxMpKo/WlA3YMLBEwI/AAAAAAAABfk/3uVix5DoFxkYEYvitvvo9wiKCT4chRTYQCLcBGAs/s320/drow%2Bfiend%2Bfolio.jpg" width="299" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">It really activates the almonds.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Anyway, Phaidor is taken to be a handmaiden of Issus. John is sent to the arena. Xodar is sent as well, since he lost in combat to John, and must serve him. Naturally, the two become best buds working to escape from their virtual death sentence. In prison, they find a pale young Red Martian youth who is obviously John Carter's son Carthoris, but the book plays coy with it for a while until the two are able to have a moment's rest.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">There's already so much going on that going through the plot would take pages and pages. John Carter escapes. We get back to Helium and Red Martian intrigue. A reunion with cool dude Kantos Kan. Dejah Thoris went to the Valley Dor to look for her husband and son. John Carter wants to go after her. More intrigue. A titanic air battle between the fleets of three navies, and John Carter cutting down any bastard that stands between him and Dejah Thoris. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">And then it ends on a massive cliffhanger because by this point Burroughs knew he had his audience hooked. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mjVaSIXMiAY/WlA3kLpr0gI/AAAAAAAABfo/-nNnMzkywlAuNV9RM5Ro79mdeFAVvlqiACLcBGAs/s1600/gods%2Bof%2Bmars%2Bnew%2Benglish%2Blibrary.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="798" data-original-width="474" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mjVaSIXMiAY/WlA3kLpr0gI/AAAAAAAABfo/-nNnMzkywlAuNV9RM5Ro79mdeFAVvlqiACLcBGAs/s320/gods%2Bof%2Bmars%2Bnew%2Benglish%2Blibrary.jpg" width="189" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">While some of the twists are blatantly telegraphed and a lot of convenient coincidences take place that stretch belief, the book hits the ground running and never lets up on the adventure. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">The section that stands out the most to me is where John is taken to the arena and sees a group of female slaves inspected by the hideous Issus and a few are selected and taken away. John learns that the ones taken away were to be eaten by Issus and her court, while the rest would be torn apart by animals in the arena. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">In a modern story, John would feel bad as he watched the innocent women get slaughtered for the entertainment of the First Born, then do some arena fighting, then plot his escape, then try and fail to escape, then mope a lot, then try again, then maybe succeed and that would take up half of the book and whoever was helping him escape would die and he'd feel extra bad about it.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NyYEMPwoDsM/WlA3saMDmfI/AAAAAAAABfw/OxkHu3rLC1MiIhrHJa_kN43c8zOHCeWzgCLcBGAs/s1600/gods_of_mars-ballantine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="983" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NyYEMPwoDsM/WlA3saMDmfI/AAAAAAAABfw/OxkHu3rLC1MiIhrHJa_kN43c8zOHCeWzgCLcBGAs/s320/gods_of_mars-ballantine.jpg" width="195" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Not here. This is <i>Pulp!</i>&nbsp;As soon as John learns that the women are going to be killed, the red mist descends over his eyes and he punches his way out of his cage (because Earthmen have super strength on Barsoom, remember?) and begins butchering everything between him and the throne of Issus. Not only does Carthoris join him in this, but every single slave in the arena, man and woman, join his uprising and John Carter nearly succeeds in reaching Issus, if not for the ancient hag queen's trickery. And this is only about halfway into the book!</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Burroughs is awesome. John Carter is awesome. <i>The Gods of Mars</i>is awesome. Read the Barsoom books. That's an order.</span></div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-23835250111789663502018-01-01T10:19:00.000-05:002018-01-01T10:19:12.986-05:00Legends Never Die: Lando Calrissian and the Flamewind of Oseon<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gPnt96OMDuM/WkpQfNdiveI/AAAAAAAABe0/tPVtPqb1pSkRaGz301OvjiwtkrQNDwA4gCLcBGAs/s1600/Lando%2BCalrissian%2Band%2Bthe%2BFlamewind%2Bof%2BOseon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="519" data-original-width="315" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gPnt96OMDuM/WkpQfNdiveI/AAAAAAAABe0/tPVtPqb1pSkRaGz301OvjiwtkrQNDwA4gCLcBGAs/s320/Lando%2BCalrissian%2Band%2Bthe%2BFlamewind%2Bof%2BOseon.jpg" width="194" /></a></div><br /><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Published in late 1983, <i>Lando Calrissian and the Flamewind of Oseon</i>, was the second in the Lando trilogy. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Following the Rafa adventure, Lando, now with moustache, finds himself with a hold full of valuable life crystals, but finds himself unsuited to the life of an honest merchant. Forms, fees, pirate attacks, repairs and unfavorable prices have depleted his wealth. Plus, someone is very clearly trying to kill him with sabotage, so he turns back to his primary moneymaking skill: gambling.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">He arrives in the Oseon system, which is made of two things: mining asteroids and pleasure asteroids. After a successful night at the Sabacc tables, he's attacked by a strange old man and kills him in self-defense (Lando's first kill in the trilogy). The local governor is sympathetic to the self-defense claim, but Oseon has a strict no guns policy among civilians, and the penalty is death. He offers a deal: Lando will ferry a local police officer (no nonsense cop Bassi Vobah) and an Imperial narcotics agent (the flustered avian Waywa Fybot) to an asteroid of “the single richest being in the galaxy” Bohhuah Mutdah. Mutdah has apparently been buying the highly illegal drug lesai and having it shipped during the Flamewind, a regular seasonal flare of solar radiation that drew millions to the system to see the pretty lights but also made navigation almost impossible.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jyYUzBTzAbc/WkpRBdTA4tI/AAAAAAAABe8/u07X4JCJm4k62oicplbFegGGmffeUMNagCLcBGAs/s1600/Vuffi%2BRaa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1100" data-original-width="1050" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jyYUzBTzAbc/WkpRBdTA4tI/AAAAAAAABe8/u07X4JCJm4k62oicplbFegGGmffeUMNagCLcBGAs/s320/Vuffi%2BRaa.jpg" width="305" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Fortunately, Lando and Vuffi Raa are able to get through (the little starfish-shaped droid turns out to be an excellent flight instructor), and the following string of betrayals and deceptions leads to the revelation that the architect of it all was the Sorcerer of Tund, Rokur Gepta, who is really, really mad at Lando for fouling up his plans in the last book.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is probably the most Libertarian book in the series. Lando's distaste for government and law enforcement shines through, so much that Lando never once entertains the idea of charming Bassi, the local cop sent with him. Even the sympathetic governor is presented as well-meaning but largely impotent compared to his orders. Waywa Fybot, the Imperial Narc, is treated as a joke at first, seeing as he's a two and a half meter tall yellow birdman. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0x5cklhWuSg/WkpQsHa0eGI/AAAAAAAABe4/v7PothuceVoeAbcnxTE_2JopTxsqilE9wCLcBGAs/s1600/BigBird1970.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="972" data-original-width="758" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0x5cklhWuSg/WkpQsHa0eGI/AAAAAAAABe4/v7PothuceVoeAbcnxTE_2JopTxsqilE9wCLcBGAs/s320/BigBird1970.jpg" width="249" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sabacc remains important, but takes a back seat to the intrigue. Lando and Vuffi Raa's relationship has settled into an amiable partnership, with “And don't call me master” becoming Lando's de facto catchphrase of the trilogy. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">The jokes keep flying fast, including the mention of a constellation called the Silly Rabbit, but its gets serious when it needs to, and the climax shows just how petty and dangerous Rokur Gepta can be.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Probably my personal favorite of the Lando Calrissian Adventures, I definitely recommend it for fans of smooth-talking gamblers who keep ending up in bizarre situations.&nbsp;</span></div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-85852643052449960352017-12-28T18:45:00.000-05:002017-12-28T18:48:00.165-05:00Good Writing Fragments: Ann C. Crispin and the Han Solo Trilogy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R-aRPaQAQd0/WkWB21hUiZI/AAAAAAAABek/QYNu1D13VG8dlE2O4JFH1lw8eRimkcWNQCLcBGAs/s1600/Han%2BSolo%2BTrilogy%2B01%2B-%2BThe%2BParadise%2BSnare.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="968" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R-aRPaQAQd0/WkWB21hUiZI/AAAAAAAABek/QYNu1D13VG8dlE2O4JFH1lw8eRimkcWNQCLcBGAs/s320/Han%2BSolo%2BTrilogy%2B01%2B-%2BThe%2BParadise%2BSnare.jpg" width="193" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">A brief one today because this week is kicking my ass and I have two reviews to write and a beta read that I need to finish, among other things.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I started Re-reading the A. C. Crispin Han Solo Trilogy with <i>The Paradise Snare</i>. The trilogy is, at its core, an origin story for Han Solo that ties together the various fragments of Expanded Universe material that accrued around him into something coherent. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">“But Han Solo doesn't need an origin story!”</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Indeed. Neither does Indiana Jones or other characters that draw from broad heroic archetypes.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">But, there is this one passage in the first chapter of the book that is outstanding.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">“He'd learned long ago that showing fear of any sort was a swift guarantee of a beating—or worse. The only thing bullies and fools respected was courage—or, at least, bravado. So Han Solo had learned never to allow fear to surface in his mind or heart. There were times when he was dimly aware that it was there, deep down, buried under layers of street toughness, but anytime he recognized it for what it was, Han resolutely buried it even deeper.”</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is on page 8 and it cuts to the quick of Han's character. He's about 19 years old at this point and already we have a character portrait that is true to his presentation in the movies and gives him a deeper layer of complexity without undermining his heroism. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Its also bittersweet. He's had a rough childhood, and his recklessness is his coping mechanism. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">It manages to tell you all of that within four sentences so that the real story can begin.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">That's good writing.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-63303883266228532262017-12-21T23:04:00.001-05:002017-12-21T23:04:22.270-05:00The Last Jedi is a Big Pile of Badly Written Garbage and Here's Why<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k8_wJDcmeiA/Wjx_8aiBwXI/AAAAAAAABeQ/hbZSx9VZwBAh1HnZ2v2TUx-qUnujdi4dQCLcBGAs/s1600/The%2BLast%2BJedi%2BPoster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1037" data-original-width="700" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k8_wJDcmeiA/Wjx_8aiBwXI/AAAAAAAABeQ/hbZSx9VZwBAh1HnZ2v2TUx-qUnujdi4dQCLcBGAs/s320/The%2BLast%2BJedi%2BPoster.jpg" width="216" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was very close to reviewing <i>The Last Jedi</i> with a two word review and being done with it. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">However, since there are people I know and love who enjoy this pile of badly written garbage, I feel a need to get into it a little bit more.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">So here is a list of problems the movie has at the storytelling level. None of it has anything to do with “HURR DURR THERE'S WIMMEN AND MINORITREES IN IT AND DAT'S BAD BECAUSE I'M A WHITE MALE IN CURRENT YEAR.” </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">No. <i>Star Wars</i> was always diverse. Nobody cares that there are Space Asians and Space Hispanics and Space Blacks alongside Space Whites. You see anybody shit talking Lando? Hell no. That man gets respect wherever he goes. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">For formality's sake, the entire list that follows is one big spoiler. That's your warning.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">So here is a list of script problems with <i>The Last Jedi</i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></div><ul><li><span style="font-size: large;">Super Leia. Everything about that entire scene begs the question: WHY?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why was Admiral Ackbar, a cult favorite thanks to his meme, even in this if you're going to give him one line and unceremoniously blast him into space? I know his voice actor died, that's not a valid excuse.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why are there no familiar aliens besides a wookiee, a sullustan, and a mon calamari? Where are the Rodians? The Twi'leks? Why come up with all new background aliens when existing ones are completely absent?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why come up with new background aliens when none of them have any bearing on the plot whatsoever?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why even bother with having Nien Nunb around? And why does the mask/puppet look cheap and awful?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Where are the alien characters? Every major speaking character is a human. In <i>Star Wars</i>. Snoke comes closest, but he's just a fugly looking near-human.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why is the main black guy an incompetent coward? Loveable coward is something doable, and Caiphas Cain in 40k pulls it off well, but here he's just a cowardly idiot pratfalling his way across the screen. Boyega has charisma that makes him watchable, but the subtext is borderline offensive, especially compared to badass black Star Wars characters like Mace Windu and the smoothest man in the galaxy, Lando Calrissian. The implications here are...“problematic,” as the Millenials like to say.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Canto Bight. All of it. Arms dealers are bad, but they also provide arms to the good guys, so...?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Finn is told he has to feel bad about how alien horses are being abused when he spent his entire life growing up as a child soldier with a serial number instead of a name? Rose, you don't know shit about having a hard life compared to that.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why is Finn so well-adjusted for being an escaped slave soldier?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why is Poe the only character who feels like he belongs in a <i>Star Wars </i>movie? Why does the movie spend its running time shitting on him for this?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why isn't Benicio Del Toro's character a cool alien design? It would probably be cheaper than hiring Del Toro.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why even bother with Snoke when you're going to kill him just as he's starting to get interesting?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why start your movie with a yo mama joke that completely undercuts any kind of menace or competence Hux might otherwise have? Even the most incompetent Imperial of the OT, Admiral Ozzel, wasn't reduced to a joke like that.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why didn't the First Order deploy starfighters immediately after entering the system at the beginning? That's standard procedure, and the captain of the “Fleet Killer” dreadnaught POINTS IT OUT.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">The Dreadnaught is remarkably undergunned for self-defense so that plot can happen.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">The Resistance Bombers are the most useless ships in the entire series, especially considering how bombs have worked throughout. But no, we need to have B-17's IN SPAAAAAACE.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Paige's sacrifice at the beginning is elaborate and reasonably well done, but she's a character we have never met before and have no reason to care for her sacrifice aside from general pathos for the situation. Somebody we've never met before dies in battle and we're supposed to care....why?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">A-Wings. Why even have them if they do nothing?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">A-Wing squadron leader, the woman with the scarf, was criminally wasted. She had flashes of personality and flair and could have provided someone for Poe to bounce off/clash with on the chain of command in the subsequent power vacuum. And I'm not just bitter because she was prime waifu material.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why is there gritty realism about the horrors of war in a movie about space wizards with laser swords? That's not going to move toys off the shelves, you know. Priorities, people!</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">“We can track them through hyperspace” is not a new idea. That's how they found the base on Yavin in the FIRST MOVIE FROM THE 70s!</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why not use an Interdictor to prevent the Resistance Fleet from jumping to hyperspace to necessitate the chase instead? And Finn &amp; Rose's mission would be to find a way to shutting down the gravity well projectors so they can get away? Minor tweaks could have salvaged that premise and make both factions look competent.&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why don't the stable kids speak Galactic Basic?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why didn't Admiral Tumblr Hair tell Poe that she has a plan? He repeatedly asked for orders and was stonewalled by Admiral Tumblr Hair, who was proving to be an ineffective leader in a moment of crisis. Poe's mutiny was fully justified given the circumstances and the failure of Tumblr Hair to lead effectively. This is evidenced by the large number of crew who mutiny with him.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Autopilot exists in the setting. Why does someone have to go down with the ship when everyone else abandons it? Other than to feel sad for the poor sap stuck at the helm?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why are your escape shuttles unarmed and unshielded? Especially since the Resistance was supposedly bankrolled by people in the New Republic on the down low? You deserve to get blown out of the sky.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why is the New Republic gone? They're the major faction in the galaxy and would have administrators, senators, functionaries and so on all across the galaxy. How incompetent can the New Republic be?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why does Yoda do any of the things he does in this movie? He acts like he did when he was trying to bamboozle Luke when he first showed up on Dagobah instead of the actual Master Yoda once he revealed himself? Why is he an asshole now?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why are Force Ghosts able to affect the mortal world now?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why does the Yoda puppet look so bad?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why does Luke abandon the galaxy at large because he considered killing his flesh and blood when he defied the two most powerful Dark Siders in the galaxy and ultimately refuse to kill either of them because he believed in the goodness of his own flesh and blood. Even sticking with the movies, none of Luke's backstory in this makes any sense.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why show Luke's submerged X-Wing when you don't use it? This is Chekhov's Blue Balls.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">When does the <i>Star Wars</i> movie start?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why is Rey able to fence with a lightsaber after an afternoon where she spins around some rocks.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why doesn't she ever apologize to the lizard nuns for making a mess of the place and nearly killing several of them?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why is Rey's backstory a big nothing after all that buildup in the last movie? Don't tell me to read the books, important information should be</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why didn't Luke have the balls to show up on Crait to face his nephew when the net result was the same? Its FAMILY, Luke. Your SISTER is in danger you sellout.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why do you just die at the end Luke? Is it because of sadness, like how your mother died in Revenge of the Sith?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why are Snoke's bodyguards so useless and incompetent?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why is their armor so cheap looking?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Where are the Knights of Ren that were talked up so much last time?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">How does Poe know Maz? he's never met her before as far as we know.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why is Maz even in this?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why is the middle of this a poorly done remake of that one Nu Battlestar Galactica Episode everybody likes?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why didn't Vice Admiral Tumblr Hair tell Poe her plan?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why wasn't Ackbar or Leia the one to hyperspace ram the Super Super Star Destroyer? It would have more emotional impact than Admiral Tumblr Hair.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why is Phasma anything? She accomplishes less than Boba Fett did in the movies.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why are there flashback sequences in Star Wars now?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Who gives a shit if Not-Hoth is made of salt instead of snow? We know its not-Hoth. We can tell from the speeders and walkers. You don't have to pretend to be clever. We just want this three hour movie to end.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why does Han have a beloved set of dice hanging in the Falcon when we've never ever had them before over the course of FORTY YEARS? Besides “brand synergy” with the upcoming Han Solo movie, of course.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why do the dice on Crait fade away AFTER Luke dies and fades away himself?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why is Rian Johnson getting a trilogy all to himself?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why does Vice Admiral Tumblr Hair have cotton candy hair?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why does Vice Admiral Tumblr Hair not wear a military uniform during a military operation?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why do we have giant alien sloth titties in Star Wars? Why does Luke go Al Franken on them?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why does Rey only manage one expression: Dull Surprise?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why is Poe repeatedly knocked down, berated and emasculated by his military superiors for repeatedly making the right call? Is that any way to treat a Hispanic heroic role model? Why is the lesson here to blindly follow authority in a rebel movement?</span></li><li><span style="font-size: large;">Why didn't Vice Admiral Tumblr Hair tell Poe her plan?</span></li></ul><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">So that's it. I'm done with this damn movie. I'm glad it seems to be struggling at the box office. Its not good, its not worth the false hype, and its not worth your money. Avoid it if you love Star Wars, because it shits all over the franchise and demands that you say "thank you."</span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">If you feel like listening to me and a couple others in the Pulp Rev scene go off on the movie, you can find it below.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><br /><iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/R15m6JWOjOs?rel=0&amp;ecver=1" width="560"></iframe> K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-90599505867269210162017-12-18T01:05:00.003-05:002017-12-18T01:05:31.633-05:00The Return of the White Hats<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nGPo43SmFoE/WjdaZ7AXQ2I/AAAAAAAABeA/Z5cku2h1BGkUGFrGBqJHAp5q5Z-hRhRXACLcBGAs/s1600/Superman%2Bchanging%2Bclothes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="745" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nGPo43SmFoE/WjdaZ7AXQ2I/AAAAAAAABeA/Z5cku2h1BGkUGFrGBqJHAp5q5Z-hRhRXACLcBGAs/s320/Superman%2Bchanging%2Bclothes.jpg" width="264" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">This has been on my mind for a while now, but <i>The Last Jedi</i> and a lot of people's visceral reaction against it, helped crystallize this line of thought. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>The Last Jedi</i>, in an attempt to be dark and serious, and “different”, hates heroism and actively punishes it. Poe Dameron, hotshot fighter pilot, is the only truly heroic character in the film. He's the only one who consistently, and without hesitation puts his life on the line for the cause and makes hard, decisive command decisions in stressful times aimed at protecting lives. He is constantly punished for this. By other characters, by plot twists, by supremely horrid writing. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">He is a classic Capital-H Hero. He's not conflicted about doing the right thing. He's not dripping with parental angst. He's not considering turning into a villain. He's a true blue, dyed-in-the-wool Hero. Even with dumb, quippy dialogue, he's got a natural charisma that shines through the poor writing that makes you want to follow him into ADVENTURE.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">And the movie shits on him. It does everything it can to not let him be a hero. To beat his heroic impulses out of him. To make him submissive to the plot because “its the dark middle chapter of the trilogy.” Because a Space Opera about space wizards with laser swords demands gritty realism about the horrors of war.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is not unique to <i>The Last Jedi</i>. Superman in particular has suffered a lot from this in movies. Henry Cavill cuts a heroic figure and has the physique, smile, and natural earnestness to pull off Clark Kent. He spends the bulk of <i>Man of Steel</i> wanting to use his powers for the good of his adopted planet, but is repeatedly told no by his adopted father, the very man who should be nurturing him to use his abilities wisely. This carries through into <i>Batman vs Superman</i>, where Superman is more feared than Batman by the world at large, and the plot manipulates him into fighting Batman. Yet again, Cavill seems to want to play Superman at his full heroic glory, but the movie won't let him. I haven't seen <i>Justice League</i>, and don't plan to, so I can't comment on him there. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">This goes back at least as far as <i>Superman Returns</i>, from 2006. There, Brandon Routh was cast as a next-generation Christopher Reeves. Tall, handsome, and with a comforting smile. The actor looks the part of Superman. But what do we have? A Superman who abandoned Earth for years. A Superman who abandoned <i>Lois</i>for years, leaving her to raise a son without him. The movie has flashes of Superman. He saves a jet in a genuinely thrilling sequence. He cleans up the local crooks with aplomb and rescues people left and right. Yet the movie bogs itself down in half-assed navel gazing and doubt while a deliciously evil Lex Luthor (played to perfection by Kevin Spacey before we realized he might actually be very evil in real life) executes his plot. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">To get a good Superman movie, I'd argue that you have to go back to <i>Superman</i>and <i>Superman II</i> from the late 70s-early 80s. And even then, I recommend the Richard Donner Cut of <i>Superman II</i> over the theatrical. <i>Superman III</i> sucks and is boring, while <i>Superman IV</i> is a hilarious trainwreck. Those movies let Superman be Superman: Bright, heroic, hopeful, inspirational, and reassuring. The world is a better place simply by having Superman in it. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">For some reason, the movers and shakers of entertainment have decided that audiences don't want straightforward heroes anymore. Antiheroes are pushed as the best option, since they're conflicted and dark, and that's <i>realism</i>, because real people are flawed and don't always do the right thing. Straightforward heroes, if they show up, have to be defeated by cynical villains who aren't dumb enough to play fair. Or they have to be treated as jokes. Buffoons to be laughed at for their outdated idealism. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Deconstruction is fine in measured doses, because you can learn a lot about stories and storytelling by taking the pieces apart. However, if you don't put the pieces back together, you're left with a mess. When you deconstruct everything, you have nothing left except a dull expanse of broken ideas and characters. There's nothing to take away from that kind of entertainment landscape but nihilism. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">All your heroes are broken lunatics and there is no truth to storytelling. That's the lesson from deconstructionism for its own sake.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Batman needs to be moody and anti-social at all times. Green Lantern needs to be indecisive. Luke Skywalker needs to be a fallen hero who ran away from the galaxy's conflicts in out-of-character cowardice. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is what major movies tell us, and is it any wonder why all of the major entertainment franchises are tottering on the brink of collapse? Audiences are drifting away because they no longer satisfy them. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">A large part of the reason why <i>Wonder Woman</i> exceeded all expectations was because she was allowed to be Wonder Woman: Warrior princess, peacebringer, avenger of injustice, and Hero. Not only that, but Steve Trevor was equally as Heroic, which made their relationship all the more enjoyable. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Marvel movies have also delivered on that kind of storytelling. Captain America is recognizably Heroic in his movies, though the MCU is getting long in the teeth now, and even with the acquisition of FOX, I don't know how audiences are going to react past <i>Infinity War</i>. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Audiences are sick of nothing but gray antiheroics. They're also sick of retreads of familiar, recent stories only with darker tones. People are starving for true Heroics in their stories again. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Wonder Woman's</i> success was not a fluke, but a sign of what's coming. The unbridled love for <i>My Hero Academia</i> is a sign of what's coming. The interest in Pulp literature from the early 20<sup>th</sup>century is a sign of what's coming. The renewed interest in classic superhero comics that look nothing like the spiteful mess modern comics are is a sign of what's coming. The quietly whispered question “whatever happened to Westerns?” is a sign of what's coming.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Mark my words: </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kkKYGRodQv0/WjdaQyzRlyI/AAAAAAAABd8/Sk7XCrs_0OIyHXQ_x9SC_xQ_iX1SdkeQgCEwYBhgL/s1600/John%2BWayne%2BLiberty%2BValance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="426" data-original-width="1000" height="136" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kkKYGRodQv0/WjdaQyzRlyI/AAAAAAAABd8/Sk7XCrs_0OIyHXQ_x9SC_xQ_iX1SdkeQgCEwYBhgL/s320/John%2BWayne%2BLiberty%2BValance.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">The White Hat Heroes are coming back.&nbsp;</span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-50877088006782678122017-12-04T23:34:00.000-05:002017-12-04T23:34:08.780-05:00Legends Never Die: Lando Calrissian and the Mindharp of Sharu<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aQzzFKlcIy8/WiYfvy1sQQI/AAAAAAAABc8/POmF7cRqcSc5WN34hf-oT5fyiJj0cfYRACLcBGAs/s1600/Lando%2BCalrissian%2Band%2Bthe%2BMindharp%2Bof%2BSharu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="532" data-original-width="330" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aQzzFKlcIy8/WiYfvy1sQQI/AAAAAAAABc8/POmF7cRqcSc5WN34hf-oT5fyiJj0cfYRACLcBGAs/s320/Lando%2BCalrissian%2Band%2Bthe%2BMindharp%2Bof%2BSharu.jpg" width="198" /></a></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>The Lando Calrissian Adventures</i>are a fascinating slice of Star Wars history. It was 1983 and <i>Return of the Jedi</i> had just hit theaters. Star Wars novelizations had taken a break after <i>The Han Solo Adventures</i> and the only consistent inter-movie tie-ins were the Marvel Comics ongoing series. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">All of a sudden, a new trilogy of pre-movie adventures hits, centering around dashing gambler, future Baron-Administrator of Cloud City, and Colt 45 spokesman, Lando Calrissian.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Tasked with writing them was L. Neil Smith (the L stands for Lester). Smith was an early adopter of Libertarianism, joining the party in 1972 and becoming very active in it and running, unsuccessfully, for office several times. This includes an awkward run for President in the 2000 election where he was only on the ballot in Arizona thanks to a dispute with the leading national Libertarian candidate, Harry Browne. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WddDWcN6ZPY/WiYf6sPnV2I/AAAAAAAABdA/XSopS41EyZkIFV4P5LFeNzWtRzjWl8nkACLcBGAs/s1600/The%2BProbability%2BBroach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="377" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WddDWcN6ZPY/WiYf6sPnV2I/AAAAAAAABdA/XSopS41EyZkIFV4P5LFeNzWtRzjWl8nkACLcBGAs/s320/The%2BProbability%2BBroach.jpg" width="188" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Failed presidential bids aside, his first published sci-fi novel was <i>The Probability Broach</i> in 1979-1980, an alternate history story in his North American Confederacy series. After four of those, <i>Lando Calrissian and the Mindharp of Sharu</i> was his fourth novel. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">The book features a young, fresh-faced Lando as the new owner of a beat up transport named the Millennium Falcon. He doesn't really know how to fly. He doesn't even have his signature moustache yet. What he does have is exceptional skill at the game of sabacc. Lando wins a droid from an academic during one such game, but he has to travel to the Rafa system to claim it. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Yf4thjevicw/WiYg41ClEOI/AAAAAAAABdI/-17outtkKlwhZFWFx-jno11DiihMFnd9ACLcBGAs/s1600/Stay%2BClassy%2BCloud%2BCity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Yf4thjevicw/WiYg41ClEOI/AAAAAAAABdI/-17outtkKlwhZFWFx-jno11DiihMFnd9ACLcBGAs/s320/Stay%2BClassy%2BCloud%2BCity.jpg" width="237" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Once there, the droid turns out to be the chipper, helpful, oddly starfish-shaped Vuffi Raa. Lando also runs afoul of the local governor, Duttes Mer, who strongarms him into searching for a lost artifact, the Mindharp, which once belonged to the long-lost Sharu race that populated the system. Supervising Mer is the sinister robed figure of Rokur Gepta, the last Sorcerer of Tund, a Dark Side Force tradition that I can best describe as “flamboyant insane space wizard” and I love it. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HQxho9qMiyU/WiYhgxmqEwI/AAAAAAAABdU/vv8jaOE4EYwNNet4rPfWHgtSh52Pj-ZXgCLcBGAs/s1600/Lando%2B%2526%2BGepta.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="592" data-original-width="576" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HQxho9qMiyU/WiYhgxmqEwI/AAAAAAAABdU/vv8jaOE4EYwNNet4rPfWHgtSh52Pj-ZXgCLcBGAs/s320/Lando%2B%2526%2BGepta.jpg" width="311" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">After a few misadventures, run-ins, and a psychedelic trip through space and time inside an ancient pyramid, Lando finally finds the Mindharp and, naturally, its more than it seems. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">A couple observations. The Libertarianism really shows. Lando is a freewheeling adventurer with no patience for the government or taxation. Lando also doesn't kill anybody, which contrasts him nicely with the Han Solo Adventures where Han &amp; Chewie solved most problems guns blazing. Lando's a talker, Han's a fighter. While the Han Solo Adventures had their share of comedy, here, Lando is frequently the one cracking jokes, usually in sardonic response to something Vuffi Raa says.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-15PzthTMBN8/WiYhB5zkKpI/AAAAAAAABdM/CRIKlFeTvh0Nb9lXKf1daX6aYvmH5zgpQCLcBGAs/s1600/Mindharp%2Bof%2BSharu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="538" data-original-width="830" height="207" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-15PzthTMBN8/WiYhB5zkKpI/AAAAAAAABdM/CRIKlFeTvh0Nb9lXKf1daX6aYvmH5zgpQCLcBGAs/s320/Mindharp%2Bof%2BSharu.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;">Lando without his moustache is just...wrong</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Not that there aren't action sequences. Even the sabacc game at the beginning is written as exciting as a made-up card game with constantly changing cards can be. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">It also sets a precedent that would carry through with Lando throughout the Expanded Universe. Since Lando's more of a face than a brawler, he always seems to end up in weird situations where shooting his way out is impossible, or at least, not ideal. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Lando Calrissian and the Mindharp of Sharu </i>is an oddball story that doesn't have the pulpy action movie heritage of the <i>Han Solo Adventures</i>, but works as a slower burn of weirdness. I liked it, because a) I really like Lando, and b) its really funny, but I can see why not everyone would be into it. That said, I do recommend it as Expanded Universe reading material.&nbsp;</span></div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-26193916248688004322017-11-30T22:31:00.000-05:002017-11-30T22:31:14.511-05:00NaNoWriMo 2017 Damage Report & Year in Review<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kk-nW2FTqi8/WiDMPYAYDTI/AAAAAAAABcg/kF_5LeoDJsA1KjDAPOd90q-z8gI2DjR2gCLcBGAs/s1600/The%2BSound%2Bof%2BGit%2BGud.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="546" data-original-width="600" height="291" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kk-nW2FTqi8/WiDMPYAYDTI/AAAAAAAABcg/kF_5LeoDJsA1KjDAPOd90q-z8gI2DjR2gCLcBGAs/s320/The%2BSound%2Bof%2BGit%2BGud.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">NaNoWriMo has always been kind of a disaster for me every time I've tried. This year went better than most.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Space Opera I'm working on evolved a lot from a third-person perspective largely following one character to a first-person narration from a different character. So most of what I wrote this month was relegated to backstory. It happened to the characters, and its good that I know what it was, but it wasn't clicking in a way that was satisfying. It was merely stuff happening. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Changing the viewpoint opened a lot up, since the main character now is a 20<sup>th</sup> century man who's been stuck in a stasis capsule for 500 years and wakes up in the far future. It gives the reader something more relatable to latch onto, and someone who can have stuff explained to him without coming off like a complete rube like the previous viewpoint character (who spent his whole life working in a domed city, so he's kind of a sheltered rube anyway). The side effect is that now the original viewpoint character is a lot more likable too.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">So the actual story will be better for it, there's just no way it would be finished for NaNoWriMo. The sad irony here is that if I had a rigid outline of events, I might not have come to that conclusion so fast and wasted more pages on backstory. So I guess minimalist outliner it is.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">That's okay. This year's been kind of a sea change in my writing patterns anyway. I've been trying to unlearn the Capital L Literary tricks that were drummed into me in college and go back to having much more fun when I'm writing. This is all thanks to the Pulp Revolution that I've jumped aboard. I recommend it too, since Robert E. Howard is ten times the writer John Steinbeck ever was, and is infinitely more entertaining to read. Helps that he'd rather tell a story about killing monsters than shove an ideology down your throat that turns people into monsters like Steinbeck. The old Pulp masters wrote at incredible speeds because they were working authors and not some trust fund babies drinking it up in Paris after WWI. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">What I'm saying is that the Modernists are lionized as great talents, but they really weren't. Some were technically very adept wordsmiths, like James Joyce, but most were pompous, self-important sad sacks like Virginia Woolf or pompous trainwrecks who brought misery wherever they went and compulsively destroyed their relationships like F. Scott Fitzgerald. Screw them. A few sentence in A. Merritt's <i>The Moon Pool</i> were more effective at explaining the existential horrors of World War I than vast swaths of the Lost Generation's musings.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.49in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: large;">“<span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">It doesn't scare me one little bit, old boy. The pretty devil lady's got the wrong slant. When you've had a pal standing beside you one moment—full of life, and joy, and power, and potentialities, telling what he's going to do to make the world hum when he gets through the slaughter, just running over with zip and pep of life, Doc—and the next instant, right in the middle of a laugh—a piece of damned shell takes off half his head and with it joy and power and all the rest of it”—his face twitched—“well, old man, in the face of </span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><i>that</i></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><i></i></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">mystery a disappearing act such as the devil lady treated us to doesn't make much of a dent. Not on me.”</span></span></div><div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0.49in;"><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">-A. Merritt, <i>The Moon Pool</i> (1919)</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">So screw the Modernists. If their bad habits have infected the entirety of Respectable Literature, I'd rather roll around in the dirt with Howard, Merritt, Moore, &amp; Burroughs. The people who stirred the imagination and the heart with wild tales of high adventure in the deep places of the Earth and among the stars.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Which doesn't mean its been an easy transition from Fugitive Academic to Pulp Journeyman. While working on adjustments, I've tried fixups of some older stories and submitted them to a few outlets. Fortunately, they were rejected by outlets I'd proudly submit to again once I GIT GUD. Still kind of sucks to get the rejection email, but if it doesn't hurt, then you didn't care in the first place, right? </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">There's another story I wrote this year for a project that's been put on a backburner for the time being (not by me.) I think its a firecracker, and the best thing I've written all year. It WILL be published in some form or another soon. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">This month's space opera? That'll be done when its done. There's good days and bad days working on it, work schedule permitting. A lot of scribbled notes of things that are supposed to happen in it, which is the closest it'll get to an outline.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">That's secondary to December's real project. A final revision of an urban fantasy story that I wrote back in 2006-2008, edited several times, revised a couple times, and submitted to agents a couple times to no avail. That was around 2010-2012, so right as ebooks started to get a true marketshare while the Tradpub dinosaurs still maintained the public face of “One True Path to Publishing Success.” I bought into it at the time, and why not? THIS IS HOW THINGS ARE DONE is a convincing statement when said with enough authority. Now in 2017, that monolithic structure is decaying and all sorts of new talent gets to play in the ruins. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Its not a huge revision at this point. Just going through and fixing grammar and sentence economy. The plot is pretty much set. Once that's done, its time to recruit some <strike>hapless</strike>&nbsp;<i>lucky</i>&nbsp;beta readers and move from there. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'm pulling for this story, because after the first three chapters, I wrote the rest of it in a single month in 2008, which is the closest I got to Pulp Speed, and is where I want to get back to in 2018. That, and my early beta readers said it was a real page-turner, so there's that going for it too.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Book reviews will continue as I finish reading them. Legends Never Die Expanded Universe stuff has been popular, and I can bitch about Star Wars all day long, so those will be more regular. Probably going to do more Pulp Revolution stuff as well when I figure out a consistent disclosure policy (still not sure how I feel about Amazon reviews for people that I'm internet friends with). Movie reviews might slow down as I try and figure out how I want to format those better. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">So that's the year in review, I guess. A. Merritt is my spirit animal, John Steinbeck is literary cancer, writing has hit a bumpy period of transition but is now leveling out and increasing productivity. A lot of seed planting for next year's harvest.&nbsp;</span></div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-76347865704607984002017-11-21T21:06:00.002-05:002017-11-21T21:06:23.300-05:00Appendix N Review: The Metal Monster<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GcC-9250xIs/WhTXSup7CoI/AAAAAAAABbU/P9OuqMn1rUMC_FkC9clu2o7hJvpvYV0VQCLcBGAs/s1600/A.%2BMerritt%2B-%2BThe%2BMetal%2BMonster%2B-%2BArgosy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="573" data-original-width="400" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GcC-9250xIs/WhTXSup7CoI/AAAAAAAABbU/P9OuqMn1rUMC_FkC9clu2o7hJvpvYV0VQCLcBGAs/s320/A.%2BMerritt%2B-%2BThe%2BMetal%2BMonster%2B-%2BArgosy.jpg" width="223" /></a></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">After jumping face-first into old pulp novels this year, my personal standout (and author I've been most angry about never hearing of before) is Abraham Merritt. His 1918-1919 debut <i><a href="https://kestifer.blogspot.com/2017/04/appendix-n-review-moon-pool.html">The Moon Pool</a></i>&nbsp;was mind-blowingly fun and 1924's <i><a href="https://kestifer.blogspot.com/2017/06/appendix-n-review-ship-of-ishtar.html">The Ship of Ishtar</a></i>&nbsp;is a <i>bona fide</i> fantasy masterpiece. Seriously. Read it. Read them both. They're great.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">In 1920, Merritt wrote&nbsp;</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><i>The Metal Monster</i></span></span><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;, serif; font-size: large;">&nbsp;as</span><span style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;, serif; font-size: large;">&nbsp;the sequel to <i>The Moon Pool</i>&nbsp;featuring the same narrator/protagonist, Dr. Walter T. Goodwin, off on another exotic adventure. Originally serialized in the Argosy All-Story Weekly, it was later edited into a full-length book and published in 1941.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">In it, Goodwin is traipsing around Central Asia near the Himalayas where he meets Dick Drake, adventurer son of an old acquaintance of Goodwin's. Then, investigating a strange aurora, they discover Martin Ventnor and his sister Ruth. Then they're chased by a group descended from a lost city of Persians (who war full battle armor and use spears and bows). With their guides dead and most of the pack animals run off, things look bad until a strange but beautiful and very, very powerful redhead named Norhala rescues them. Human, but also something else, Norhala can command electrical and magnetic forces and is connected to a bizarre city made up millions of ever-shifting living metal Things. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">It should work, and in many places it does, such as in Merritt's specific style of beautifully grotesque action sequences. The beginning sets a remote and bleak mood fitting for the setting and the ending is wonderfully apocalyptic. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-G1SsCZwwSAs/WhTYEdU5R9I/AAAAAAAABbc/Yl1WHYDeS24Djq5xFD7CXTfR2o-3CpUzQCLcBGAs/s1600/A.%2BMerritt%2B-%2BThe%2BMetal%2BMonster%2B-%2BAvon%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="638" data-original-width="429" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-G1SsCZwwSAs/WhTYEdU5R9I/AAAAAAAABbc/Yl1WHYDeS24Djq5xFD7CXTfR2o-3CpUzQCLcBGAs/s320/A.%2BMerritt%2B-%2BThe%2BMetal%2BMonster%2B-%2BAvon%2B1.jpg" width="215" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Unfortunately, its all the stuff in the middle that doesn't quite click. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">The Metal Things are suitably weird, and possibly an alien hive mind. Its difficult to tell, since they can't speak human languages. Their origins are vague, as are their motives, but they're capable of draining direct energy from the Sun and causing sunspots (in a fun scene that actually takes into account the speed of light). The Things themselves can move and combine and shape themselves into various forms, including flying cubes, lumbering giants, and the very structures of their city. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">They're weird and wonderful and predate John von Neumann's 1948 theory by 28 years and John Bernal's 1929 lecture “The World, the flesh and the Devil” anticipating self-replicating machines by 9 years. (Suck on that, Commies!)</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">They also have a staggering visual and “sociological” similarity to D&amp;D Modrons, 63 years before their first appearance. And a full 94 years before Knack!</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Pv_DPBVmAE8/WhTYneQKiYI/AAAAAAAABbo/H6dKu6-P6wsCDDjJ722GyiJ2IlNyXrYWgCLcBGAs/s1600/Knack%2BII.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Pv_DPBVmAE8/WhTYneQKiYI/AAAAAAAABbo/H6dKu6-P6wsCDDjJ722GyiJ2IlNyXrYWgCLcBGAs/s320/Knack%2BII.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Seriously, they form up and move around like Knack</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The bad part is that Merritt spends a staggering amount of time trying to explain how wondrous this is. The characters spend four full chapters on a flying cube trying to wrap their heads around what's going on. That's...not great pacing for an ADVENTURE story. There are great ideas being played around with, but the closer it gets to Hard Sci-Fi, the more it bogs down and frankly, starts to get boring.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Pacing issues give way to a very clear demonstration that Merritt likes to use certain stock characters: There's two intellectuals, except Martin Ventnor spends most of the book either worrying about his sister or in a coma. There's the two-fisted, upright man of action, except Drake is a pale shadow of the quirky Larry O'Keefe from <i>The Moon Pool</i>. There's a hunched, ugly but surprisingly strong servant figure, only Yuruk is more treacherous than <i>The Ship of Ishtar's</i> Gigi. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zY38RsR4k7U/WhTY8ausVRI/AAAAAAAABbs/hemU3uCBIx42NYtj3NwomqYf0cGTmUL_QCLcBGAs/s1600/A.%2BMerritt%2B-%2BThe%2BMetal%2BMonster%2B-%2BAvon%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1107" data-original-width="736" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zY38RsR4k7U/WhTY8ausVRI/AAAAAAAABbs/hemU3uCBIx42NYtj3NwomqYf0cGTmUL_QCLcBGAs/s320/A.%2BMerritt%2B-%2BThe%2BMetal%2BMonster%2B-%2BAvon%2B2.jpg" width="212" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Then there's the elephant in the room: This is the third Merritt book I've read that prominently features an exotic, beautiful, immensely powerful redhead. Lakla, Sharane, and now Norhala. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Merritt clearly likes what he likes, and I'm more than fine with that. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Unlike the other two, Norhala is destructively ferocious when roused (as the Persians eventually learn) and never fully becomes a hero or a love interest. There's the barest hint of a connection between her and Goodwin, but that's all. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Ruth is no slouch either, despite being off-camera taking care of her comatose brother for most of the book. When it comes to shooting, she's got the biggest body count out of the four protagonists. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I'm beginning to suspect Merritt didn't know how to write weak women.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-f2jZYqKOQMI/WhTZDWM_-eI/AAAAAAAABbw/wqrJPv8GGWY7u4UjsSLZ2Xd0nuQvlhwNwCLcBGAs/s1600/A.%2BMerritt%2B-%2BThe%2BMetal%2BMonster%2B-%2BAvon%2B3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1300" data-original-width="784" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-f2jZYqKOQMI/WhTZDWM_-eI/AAAAAAAABbw/wqrJPv8GGWY7u4UjsSLZ2Xd0nuQvlhwNwCLcBGAs/s320/A.%2BMerritt%2B-%2BThe%2BMetal%2BMonster%2B-%2BAvon%2B3.jpg" width="192" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Finally got the hair right on this cover</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">For me, the biggest problem with the book is that the main characters remain observers throughout. Goodwin and Drake set out to try and find a solution to the predicament, but merely end up going on a Scooby-Doo chase through the Metal Monster city as they try to figure out what the hell's going on. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">The plot carries on whether they get involved or not, and the climax is spent on a hill watching the fireworks. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">I can see how this would impress H. P. Lovecraft (who crowed about the story in a letter) with its unfathomable alien beings dwarfing human understanding, but the characters don't glue the whole thing together. Its difficult to care and Goodwin's dry personality works better in <i>The Moon Pool</i> where he has the hot-blooded O'Keefe to bounce off of. There's no real antagonist to speak of. The Persian leader shows up for one chapter near the end and he's dealt with handily by Norhala (in one of the best sequences in the entire book) </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5Mviy79-en0/WhTaTRHELSI/AAAAAAAABb8/CW9T9ZFgUC0qKtKlPbCLoRAylKtTN3I5QCLcBGAs/s1600/A.%2BMerritt%2B-%2BThe%2BMetal%2BMonster%2B-%2BAvon%2Bedit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1106" data-original-width="736" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5Mviy79-en0/WhTaTRHELSI/AAAAAAAABb8/CW9T9ZFgUC0qKtKlPbCLoRAylKtTN3I5QCLcBGAs/s320/A.%2BMerritt%2B-%2BThe%2BMetal%2BMonster%2B-%2BAvon%2Bedit.jpg" width="212" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><i>The Metal Monster</i> isn't bad. The Metal Monster is a great concept and Norhala is a scene-stealer. It just grinds itself to a halt describing the Metal Monster's mechanics and Merritt does action/adventure/romance much better in other stories. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">This one's optional.&nbsp;</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MVBenoLCBa4/WhTbg9BHVZI/AAAAAAAABcI/Z884GJtfIUsv7HK4wv53OQLLpntdPiKwACLcBGAs/s1600/Nanomachines%252C%2BSon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="502" data-original-width="600" height="267" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MVBenoLCBa4/WhTbg9BHVZI/AAAAAAAABcI/Z884GJtfIUsv7HK4wv53OQLLpntdPiKwACLcBGAs/s320/Nanomachines%252C%2BSon.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-10298802850178812372017-11-10T23:28:00.001-05:002017-11-10T23:28:59.135-05:00Dead Reckoning (1947)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R-judQXiBIw/WgZ7cg13QGI/AAAAAAAABa4/jEibs5yjszg80y9Owi_McePy9E6vv3hQgCLcBGAs/s1600/Dead%2BReckoning%2B%25281947%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="755" data-original-width="503" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R-judQXiBIw/WgZ7cg13QGI/AAAAAAAABa4/jEibs5yjszg80y9Owi_McePy9E6vv3hQgCLcBGAs/s320/Dead%2BReckoning%2B%25281947%2529.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">This one's a real hidden gem of deceit and twists and Humphrey Bogart turning in a solid performance in a lesser-known <i>noir</i> from 1947. It's <i>Dead Reckoning.</i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Bogey plays Rip Murdock, former army captain and war hero. He's in a place named Gulf City looking for his wartime pal Johnny, who mysteriously hopped off a train in Philadelphia rather than receive a Medal of Honor from Uncle Sam. The two are supposed to meet, but one fiery car crash later, that's not going to happen, and Murdock runs afoul of a local mobster named Martinelli (Morris Carnovsky) and the woman Johnny was involved with. And what a woman Coral “Dusty” Chandler (Lizabeth Scott) turns out to be. A husky-voiced blonde who was a former singer at Martinelli's nightclub and is central to everything.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Directed by John Cromwell, the movie with a very solid look. Some scenes really stand out, like the one near the beginning where Rip chases Johnny in vain around some train cars at night, the final showdown and a couple others. Its solid, but there’s not a whole lot there that really pops out in terms of camera tricks and so on.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, story by Gerald Adams &amp; Sidney Biddell, adaptation by Allen Rivkin &amp; screenplay by Oliver H.P. Garrett &amp; Steve Fisher. That’s quite a few names for a 100 minute picture. Character dialogue is actually really solid, especially between Bogart and Scott. The best scenes are the ones in cars where Rip &amp; Dusty are talking. I’d say the downside is that the plot is fairly easy to figure out at a certain point, though the film doesn’t try and cop out on the ending at least.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">one of the most interesting traits that Rip has in comparison to other characters I’ve seen him play is that there’s a surprising level of misogyny in our hero. Not just like a “typical for the times” way, but the character’s got some real bitterness buried in there. And then of course he ends up falling in love with the femme fatale of the film and the relationship goes to some REALLY interesting places.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Dead Reckoning </i>might not bring a whole lot of innovation to the table, but it is great seeing Bogart and the severely underrated Scott (who made quite a few <i>noirs</i>in her day) really get into things. Its a hidden gem of the genre. Totally recommended.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/oKwXanDXi3o?rel=0?ecver=1" width="560"></iframe>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-88069148394732886172017-11-03T16:47:00.001-05:002017-11-03T16:47:42.933-05:00Panic in the Streets (1950)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HlxUIg60a8Q/Wfzi5QQQErI/AAAAAAAABag/IP8MdAD4HqkNziDpPgW55vbEKJptRI9sACLcBGAs/s1600/Panic%2Bin%2Bthe%2BStreets%2B%25281950%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="989" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HlxUIg60a8Q/Wfzi5QQQErI/AAAAAAAABag/IP8MdAD4HqkNziDpPgW55vbEKJptRI9sACLcBGAs/s320/Panic%2Bin%2Bthe%2BStreets%2B%25281950%2529.jpg" width="210" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'm unrolling something I've wanted to do for some time now: Noirvember. I've loved <i>film noir </i>ever since I discovered the Maltese Falcon (the <i>book</i>) in high school, and have wanted to do a month specifically dedicated to it for a while, especially as an excuse to discuss lesser-known <i>noir</i>. So here we are.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Does an outbreak of plague belong in film noir? Offhand, I'd say no, but Elia Kazan proved me wrong with 1950's <i>Panic in the Streets</i>. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dockside New Orleans. A poker game turns sour when one of the players, a recently arrived illegal immigrant, starts acting sick and leaves suddenly. His cousin tries to calm him down, but Blackie (Jack Palance in his first movie role) and his toadie Raymond Fitch (Zero Mostel in his second movie role) take issue with that and try to get their money back. One dead john doe later, they do, and dump his body into the harbor, where it washes up the next day for the police to find.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Except the autopsy reveals he was carrying pneumonic plague (a real version of the plague that infects the lungs rather than the lymph nodes). With no identity, no leads and a big port city to incubate it, Lt. Commander Clint Reed of the US Public Health Service (Richard Widmark), has three days to prevent an outbreak that could ravage the country. Along the way he butts heads with Police Captain Tom Warren (Paul Douglas) and strains his relationship with his wife, Nancy (Barbara Bel Geddes). </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">This was Kazan's last <i>film noir</i>before moving onto bigger pictures (his next movie would be <i>A Streetcar Named Desire</i>) and it shows a confident, technically adept hand behind the camera. The action sequences are few, but the ones that are there are excellently executed in prime <i>noir</i>style.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">The middle bogs down a little bit, but there's a constant tension as the stress takes its toll on Dr. Reed as he tries to convince both government officials and simple dockworkers of the seriousness of the threat. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Panic in the Streets</i>is a good film well executed. I'm not sure I'd put it in my <i>film noir</i> top ten, but I definitely enjoyed it more than <i>Streetcar</i>.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Recommended.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gk1r0TO-US8?rel=0?ecver=1" width="560"></iframe>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-78402063687431469622017-10-30T10:13:00.001-05:002017-12-19T20:28:54.826-05:00Legends Never Die: Han Solo and the Lost Legacy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U0Ybj4pfXPY/Wfc_pKgxhhI/AAAAAAAABZ4/KFS_B5-WpWEnbbabEhje6mCZdbot1kjDgCLcBGAs/s1600/Han%2BSolo%2BAdventures%2B03%2B-%2BHan%2BSolo%2Band%2Bthe%2BLost%2BLegacy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="520" data-original-width="303" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U0Ybj4pfXPY/Wfc_pKgxhhI/AAAAAAAABZ4/KFS_B5-WpWEnbbabEhje6mCZdbot1kjDgCLcBGAs/s320/Han%2BSolo%2BAdventures%2B03%2B-%2BHan%2BSolo%2Band%2Bthe%2BLost%2BLegacy.jpg" width="186" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><i>Han Solo and the Lost Legacy</i>caps off Brian Daley's Han Solo trilogy, and was published four months after <i>The Empire Strikes Back</i>was released. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Frozen in carbonite, book trilogy ended. 1980 was a rough year to be Han Solo. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">After making haste out of the Corporate Sector, Han, Chewie, Bollux and Blue Max are bumming around a backwater sector called the Tion Hegemony doing odd jobs like working for a flying circus. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Adventure comes calling in the form of one of Han's old academy instructors turned treasure hunter: Trooper Badure. Badure's recruits Han to get to the planet Dellalt to find a long-lost treasure ship, <i>The Queen of Ranroon</i>. The ship belonged to a fabled pre-Old Republic conqueror, Xim the Despot, and is said to be guarded by a legion of his deadly war robots. The ship has been the stuff of spacer legends for generations.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">After a high-speed chase across a university, Han agrees and meets the rest of Badure's team: Hasti, a miner who's sister discovered the clue to the treasure's location and was killed for it, and Skynx, an eager Ruurian historian who's just about the most adorable fuzzy caterpillar person in the galaxy.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1KWxLHW-V0Q/WfdAF2SlfaI/AAAAAAAABZ8/q-JQcW9XQfUT-LwhBZw2EfeQATS-ujuXACLcBGAs/s1600/Professor_Skynx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="762" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1KWxLHW-V0Q/WfdAF2SlfaI/AAAAAAAABZ8/q-JQcW9XQfUT-LwhBZw2EfeQATS-ujuXACLcBGAs/s320/Professor_Skynx.jpg" width="209" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Dellalt proves to be a dangerous world, with a criminal mining operation, a reclusive group of deadly cultists in the mountains, and centuries-old war robots that are just as deadly as their reputation.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">And then Gallandro shows up with a grudge against Solo for being humiliated in <i>Han Solo's Revenge</i>.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Considering <i>Raiders of the Lost Ark</i>came out a year later in 1981, the comparisons are inescapable. A character played by Harrison Ford goes on a hunt for ancient treasure and has to deal with angry natives and hostile armies. Probably coincidental, but the pulp element convergence here is striking.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Gallandro himself works as a stand-in for the sinister Setenza from <i><a href="https://kestifer.blogspot.com/2013/09/when-you-have-to-shoot-shoot-dont-talk.html">The Good, The Band and the Ugly</a></i>. His moustache is a little more flamboyant, but there's a lot of Lee Van Cleef in the character. He is one of the few people in the galaxy that Han is legitimately frightened of.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gcy4dXvi-X4/WfdAM6_7XqI/AAAAAAAABaA/HxNtKW0_cgYLTfTIpgGA420ueZ6ds8vRQCLcBGAs/s1600/Gallandro_by_Brian_Rood.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gcy4dXvi-X4/WfdAM6_7XqI/AAAAAAAABaA/HxNtKW0_cgYLTfTIpgGA420ueZ6ds8vRQCLcBGAs/s320/Gallandro_by_Brian_Rood.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Like the rest of the trilogy, Daley's action sequences are fast-paced and exciting. The aforementioned university chase (which itself has a lot of similarities to one of the few bright spots in <i>Kingdom of the Crystal Skull</i>), then there's a mountain chase on a giant metal disc, and a large-scale battle at the climax where everyone's fighting everyone as the war robots advance. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">This time, though, there's a tinge of melancholy throughout. Its been a fun ride, but the party's coming to a close. Han makes more mistakes. Hasti, the potential love interest, rejects his advances, saying she wants something real and not a love-em-and-leave-em type. The ancient labor droid Bollux has a touching conversation about obsolescence and free will with the war robot commander. Skynx the academic is rushing to get as much adventure and knowledge into his life before he matures to a full adult and turns into a near-mindless butterfly. Bollux and Blue max have to leave Han by the end because they're not in the movies.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NrwHAYyebYE/WfdAbQpOh3I/AAAAAAAABaI/tv_0kM4tIM09bVNMvRnrkOFfhtlb-c0SwCLcBGAs/s1600/Solo_BlueMax_Bollux_Chewie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="950" data-original-width="763" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NrwHAYyebYE/WfdAbQpOh3I/AAAAAAAABaI/tv_0kM4tIM09bVNMvRnrkOFfhtlb-c0SwCLcBGAs/s320/Solo_BlueMax_Bollux_Chewie.jpg" width="257" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The passage of time undercuts everything in this book, and by the end, Han &amp; Chewie have managed to piss off everyone important in the Corporate Sector and Tion Hegemony, so they bounce around the idea of doing a simple spice run for Jabba the Hutt. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The Han Solo Adventures are a blast to read and can be found individually or in omnibus formats. If you're of a tabletop persuasion, its essential reading for a Scum &amp; Villainy type of game. Highly recommended and essential Expanded Universe reading. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cpk4qR2-mcg/WfdAmFcqJ1I/AAAAAAAABaM/ic7flxPsPg0wNiMZk809UpFkRDAMkdOpQCLcBGAs/s1600/Han%2BSolo%2BAdventures%2B03%2B-%2BHan%2BSolo%2Band%2Bthe%2BLost%2BLegacy%2Breissue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cpk4qR2-mcg/WfdAmFcqJ1I/AAAAAAAABaM/ic7flxPsPg0wNiMZk809UpFkRDAMkdOpQCLcBGAs/s320/Han%2BSolo%2BAdventures%2B03%2B-%2BHan%2BSolo%2Band%2Bthe%2BLost%2BLegacy%2Breissue.jpg" width="192" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Brian Daley would continue on with a few Star Wars projects, but not more novels. He wrote the script adaptations for the Star Wars Radio dramas (1981, 1983 and 1996, respectively). The audio dramas are really quite good, by the way, and expanded on a few themes that weren't in the movies.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Daley himself died in 1996 of pancreatic cancer shortly after recording of the <i>Return of the Jedi </i>radio drama wrapped. According to his official website, <a href="http://www.brian-daley.com/">which is still up as a memorial to him</a>, some of his ashes were to be scattered at the Little Big Horn Spirit Gate memorial to help defend it from inter-dimensional threats.&nbsp; </div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-52356160057478101462017-10-16T22:04:00.000-05:002017-10-16T22:04:28.034-05:00Octoverride '17: Blacula (1972)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g2ZPwboFKPc/WeVyN2snIeI/AAAAAAAABZg/NGv9CW_klRojUSwk_dkr5YJUBmo24axpwCLcBGAs/s1600/Blacula%2B%25281972%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="755" data-original-width="501" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g2ZPwboFKPc/WeVyN2snIeI/AAAAAAAABZg/NGv9CW_klRojUSwk_dkr5YJUBmo24axpwCLcBGAs/s320/Blacula%2B%25281972%2529.jpg" width="211" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Blacula</i>. This little 1972 Blaxploitation horror movie has quite a reputation for its name alone. Black Dracula, essentially. Directed by William Crain, a black director with a few other Blaxploitation movies to his credit, along with several tv shows, including some episodes of <i>The Dukes of Hazzard</i>, and with a screenplay written by Joan Torres and Raymond Koenig, the movie starts out strong. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Campy, but strong. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">In 1780, Prince Mamuwalde (William Marshall, the Future King of Cartoons on <i>Pee-Wee's Playhouse</i>) and his wife Luva (Vonetta McGee) are on a diplomatic tour of Europe and end up in Transylvania. Count Dracula (Charles Macaulay) patronizes them and constantly needles the prince about race until Mamuwalde tries to leave, and Dracula captures him, turns him into a vampire, and buries him in a coffin in his castle because Dracula is an asshole. Oh yeah, and Dracula dubs Mamuwalde “Blacula.” </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Because Dracula's an asshole.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Fast forward to the 70s and an interracial gay couple of interior decorators buy up a bunch of stuff in Dracula's castle, including Mamuwalde's coffin. They're goofy, and definitely campy, but they're also innocent of what's about to happen, so there's definitely sympathy for them when they inadvertently ship Blacula to Los Angeles and awaken him and get killed. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">After that, it slows down pretty hard. A doctor, Gordon Thomas (Thalmus Rasulala) begins investigating the deaths and turns into this movie's Abraham Van Helsing. Meanwhile, Mamuwalde runs into Tina (Vonetta McGee again) who's a dead ringer for his long-lost love and he chases her, getting run over by a taxi, and exsanguinating the sassy black cabbie lady as consolation. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Then it turns into a slow build of Dr. Thomas figuring out Mamuwalde is Blacula, and his allies trying to save Tina and stop a vampire outbreak across the city. There's a fun scene of a photographer developing a photo of Mamuwalde that he doesn't show up in (before she gets eaten by Blacula, of course), the vampire Cabbie waking up in the hospital and charging down character actor Elisha Cook Jr (from <i>The Maltese Falcon</i>) that's actually kind of spooky, some vampires in cheap capes get thrown into cardboard boxes, and a bunch of extras dressed like motorcycle cops get killed. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">There's really not a whole lot to the movie, actually. It borrows heavily from the classic Bela Lugosi <i>Dracula</i>plot while throwing in the love story angle from Boris Karloff's <i>The Mummy</i>. That's fine, its just very pedestrian. The cast is fine, the effects are low budget, and it would be rather forgettable if not for one thing: William Marshall. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;">Marshall anchors and elevates the movie above its shortcomings by bringing a sense of tragic gravitas to the character. His rumbling bass voice helps too, along with his Shakespearean background. He's more sympathetic than Dracula traditionally is, and despite running rampant across LA for several nights, his death at the end of the movie is handled with a lot of dignity. After he is denied love one last time, he chooses to walk out into the morning sunlight. Marshall makes a scene where he walks up a flight of stairs and falls over dead into something not goofy. That's some real talent there. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Blacula</i>occupies a kind of middle ground of averageness in the Blaxploitation genre. Its inoffensive, competent enough and mostly forgettable. I do, however, recommend it for William Marshall's performance as Mamuwalde. That's worth seeing.</span><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vN2a5zGmBPI?rel=0?ecver=1" width="560"></iframe>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-70065793372252430992017-10-09T21:21:00.000-05:002017-10-09T21:21:30.972-05:00Octoverride '17: The Thirsty Dead (1974)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0EYXy1z6xN8/WdwtPD7QLpI/AAAAAAAABZI/BmJiHJS54jEZxQAldF8VaPrXH8gcW5uyACLcBGAs/s1600/The%2BThirsty%2BDead%2B%25281974%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="738" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0EYXy1z6xN8/WdwtPD7QLpI/AAAAAAAABZI/BmJiHJS54jEZxQAldF8VaPrXH8gcW5uyACLcBGAs/s320/The%2BThirsty%2BDead%2B%25281974%2529.jpg" width="216" /></a></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>The Thirsty Dead</i></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">AKA </span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Blood Hunt</i></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">AKA </span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>The Blood Cult of Shangri-La</i></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">is a 1974 American-Filipino co-production shot on location in the Philippines. It was directed by Terry Becker, an actor with a few TV episode directing credits. This was the only movie he directed. The story was written by Becker and Lou Whitehill (another actor) with the screenplay by Charles Dennis (another actor, who's done a lot of voice-over work in recent years). </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">It begins with a long establishing shot of a harbor, then a dancer entertains a bunch of sailors in a sleazy dive bar before her set ends and she goes back to her dressing room to listen to exposition radio discuss a rash of women being kidnapped and because this is 70s schlock, she fantasizes about being taken as a white slave to Hong Kong. This is Claire (Judith McConnell) and sure enough, she herself is soon captured by mysterious people in dark robes. After the credits, another woman, Laura (Jennifer Billingsley) turns down a marriage proposal and goes home alone so she can be kidnapped by the same monk-lookin guys. She wakes up half-drugged in a sewer and tries to get away, doesn't, and is taken by boat into the jungle with another girl, Ann (Fredricka Myers). They get dropped off with Claire and a local girl, Bonnie (Chiqui da Rosa) and are then escorted through the jungle by some bored-looking men in loincloths to a hidden cult.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">The cult is led by Ranu (Tani Guthrie) with religious services by Baru (John Considine) and his giant silly collar. They worship a head in a red plastic box called Raul. At least, I think its Raul. The audio of the version I watched was terribly muddy and difficult to understand. Doesn't matter. Raul's only in one scene anyway. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">The four women arrive and Laura is singled out by Baru because Raul mentioned her name as part of a something-something prophecy and Baru painted a portrait of her thanks to a prophetic dream he had of her because he's a lonely weirdo and so they can throw in a weak romance plot.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">An IMMORTAL lonely weirdo, as it turns out. This cult is kidnapping attractive young women so that they can harvest their blood and mix it with leaves from a local jungle plant with remarkable healing properties and the resulting cocktail extends their life and youth. Interestingly enough, the cult uses the leaves to heal up their wounds so they don't die. Those “rejected” by Raul eventually turn into withered and crazy old people who get locked away in a cave.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Anyway, Baru tries to woo Laura over to his side and while she has some attraction to him, she's horrified by the cult's practices. The conversation goes “What right do you have?” “We are the chosen ones.” Rinse. Repeat. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Claire, on the other hand, likes the idea of being young and immortal and not being the one who's blood is being drunk. This leads to some half-assed tension and the four girls escape into the jungle, wander aimlessly for a while, then get caught and brought back. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Laura wins Ranu over to her side, and with his help escapes again and frees the rejected ones, who predictably turn on their masters. Claire decides she wants to stay, Laura tries to force her into escaping with the group, Claire tries to run away, takes a wrong turn and falls down into a spike pit and dies. Good job missing the point of why forcing people into doing things they don't want to is bad, Laura.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Anyway, the three girls escape with Ranu, and he leads them toward the exit, only they pass the “Ring of Age” which borders the cult's territory and he rapidly starts aging because we needed fake drama introduced at the last minute. The slave revolt is put down and the three women barely escape their pursuers by reaching a road and flagging down a passing jeep. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">The movie ends with police searching the jungle with helicopters while a police lieutenant who was investigating the disappearances (Vic Diaz, who I only mention because he was a prolific actor in the Philippine horror movie industry of the 70s) tells Laura that they can't find any trace of settlement on the mountain, not even with helicopters. Meanwhile, Ranu looks at the futile search through a telescope and has a good laugh.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">The biggest problem is complete lack of tension in the movie. After getting captured in the beginning, most scenes revolve around “how will the girls be able to escape?” and until the finale, the answer is “they can't.” Everything reverts back to them being captured without much trouble and more scenes of them talking about escaping. Bonnie has a deadly snake crawling at her feet! Never mind, it leaves without any fuss. Ann's bloodletting wound opens up! Never mind, somebody used one of the magic healing leaves to fix it. Its dreadfully boring. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">The moral conflict of “We are the chosen ones!” versus “You don't have the right to do this!” feels like a bad episode of Star Trek. The cult's silly robes, propensity for interpretive dance, and soundtrack all add to that feel.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Is there anything good? Well, its got a talking head in a box. That counts for something. The character of Claire, while being a two-dimensional turboslut, is at least entertaining to watch and McConnell has scene-chewing fun with the role, which can't be said about the rest of the cast. That's really about it.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Ultimately, its a boring movie with a paralyzing reluctance to move its own plot forward. </span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Absolutely not recommended.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-54643127451050388082017-10-04T19:52:00.001-05:002017-10-04T19:52:37.286-05:00Octoverride '17: Varan the Unbelievable (1962)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1BwkNG4lw4g/WdWBJqOZdHI/AAAAAAAABYE/YNkZQpuXk302XNtsbbd0L4gSA8BylaU6ACLcBGAs/s1600/Varan%2Bthe%2BUnbelievable%2B%25281962%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1119" data-original-width="736" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1BwkNG4lw4g/WdWBJqOZdHI/AAAAAAAABYE/YNkZQpuXk302XNtsbbd0L4gSA8BylaU6ACLcBGAs/s320/Varan%2Bthe%2BUnbelievable%2B%25281962%2529.jpg" width="210" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;">This is going to be shorter because there's not a whole lot to 1962's </span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;"><i>Varan the Unbelievable</i></span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;">, which is a heavy re-edit of a 1958 Japanese kaiju movie, </span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;"><i>Daikaijû Baran</i></span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;">, directed by the father of Godzilla himself, Ishirō Honda.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;">This version, directed by Jerry A. Baerwitz, features scenes of an American Naval officer, James Bradley (played by character actor Myron Healey) and his wife Anna (Tsuruko Kobayashi) and some support staff. Its a joint US-Japan project looking into a water desalination experiment, and the saltwater lake they've chosen happens to have a giant monster lying dormant at the bottom.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;">The monster wakes up and if you've seen the original Godzilla or even Gamera, you know what happens. Monster wanders around destroying things, military tries and fails to stop it, some model buildings get destroyed, and then the scientists come up with a solution eventually that kills the creature.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;">Its all quite dull, and the editing job does it no favors, though the American cast isn't awful by any means. It just lacks all sense of weight and purpose. Its going through the motions.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;">I will say that the monster costume for Varan/Baran/Bara-dagi. Varan is essentially a giant Iguana who stomps around smashing nicely detailed sets.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;">The chop-job does it no favors though, and I would like to see Honda's original version at some point, but this version?</span></span></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;"><br />No. Its dull and forgettable.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;, serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/D-rKQtzboFw?rel=0?ecver=1" width="560"></iframe>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-33885003242849659302017-10-02T19:12:00.002-05:002017-10-02T19:12:54.068-05:00Octoverride '17: Fangs of the Living Dead (1969)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cKeo0j1LD68/WdLTJ3xDCCI/AAAAAAAABXw/-QyNUmwlB2YGKGac6-DYx3LDMT-0ZJdqQCEwYBhgL/s1600/Fangs%2Bof%2Bthe%2BLiving%2BDead%2B%25281969%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="771" data-original-width="550" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cKeo0j1LD68/WdLTJ3xDCCI/AAAAAAAABXw/-QyNUmwlB2YGKGac6-DYx3LDMT-0ZJdqQCEwYBhgL/s320/Fangs%2Bof%2Bthe%2BLiving%2BDead%2B%25281969%2529.jpg" width="228" /></a></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">After a long absence, the Octoverride is back, though I can't promise it won't be nothing but wall-to-wall schlock this year.</span></span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">1969 brought us today's piece of European Horror Schlock.&nbsp;</span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><i>Fangs of the Living Dead</i></span>&nbsp;<span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">AKA&nbsp;</span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><i>Malenka</i></span>&nbsp;<span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">AKA&nbsp;</span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><i>Malenka, the Vampire's Niece</i></span>&nbsp;<span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">AKA&nbsp;</span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><i>Malenka: La Nipote del Vampiro&nbsp;</i></span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">AKA</span>&nbsp;<span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><i>Malenka: la Sobrina del Vampiro&nbsp;</i></span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">AKA</span>&nbsp;<span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><i>The Vampire Girl</i></span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">. Yeah.</span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><br />This one's going to have SPOILERS because there's not much else to discuss.</span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It was an Italian-Spanish co-production that tapped into the then-popular horror plot of “Young(ish) person inherits an old, spooky castle in a town of weirdos and travels there, encountering HORRORS” much like in&nbsp;</span></span><a href="https://kestifer.blogspot.com/2017/03/even-children-threw-rocks-at-me.html"><span style="font-size: large;">Horror Rises From the Tomb.</span></a></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">Here, we are introduced to Sylvia Morel, played by Swedish model and actress Anita Ekberg. Sylvia has no job or background to really speak of, but she receives a letter from an uncle that she's inherited the family estate in Walbrooke (which is in some vaguely Carpathain region). She decides to go there and fill out the necessary paperwork two weeks before her wedding to Dr. Piero Luciani (played by Gianni Medici as “John Hamilton”). He's not thrilled about the idea, but their mutual friend and incredibly Italian comic relief sidekick Max (César Benet</span>&nbsp;<span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">as “Guy Roberts”) sees no harm in it.</span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;">Sylvia arrives in Walbrooke, stops for a drink in a local tavern run by sisters Bertha (Diana Lorys) and Freya (the strong-jawed Rosanna Yanni, who was also a producer of the film). We get hints that Bertha is ill with anemia before the Count's coachman and goon, Vladis (Fernando Bilbao) arrives to drive her to the castle.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">At the Castle, Sylvia learns that her uncle, the Count Walbrooke (Julián Ugarte), is a weird recluse with perfect hair and an obsession with Sylvia's grandmother Malenka, who looked just like Sylvia and was played by Ekberg in an overly long flashback sequence. Sylvia also meets Blinka (Adriana Ambesi as “Audrey Ambert”), who lives in the castle, dresses in lingerie, and gives off a rapey vibe when she tries to sweet talk Sylvia into leaving her room. The Count drags Blinka out of Sylvia's room and starts whipping her in the dungeon, where its revealed to Sylvia that Blinka is a vampire. And so is the Count.</span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;">The Count wants Sylvia to call off the wedding because “Something Something Family Curse,” and he starts manipulating her to try and turn her into a vampire.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;">Piero &amp; Max arrive to find out what's going on and they speak with the innkeepers. Bertha is in some kind of relationship with the Count and dies the next day from bite wounds. She rises from the grave, and it all comes down to a climactic showdown in the castle's dungeon where the Count chains a shirtless Piero to a cross and explains that he's trying to drive Sylvia into thinking she's a vampire so she can be declared insane and the Count can then claim the inheritance. Then Blinka and Bertha get into a catfight, which buys Sylvia (who had been pretending to be under the Count's power) enough time to free Piero, who then does the unheroic thing of stabbing the Count with a flaming torch, which then prompts the Count to age rapidly into a papier-mâché skeleton, which then burns up in a pretty decent scene.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;">Its my understanding that there are two endings to the film. The first, follows the “hoax” plot to its conclusion, and the shorter one for American audiences, which features the burning vampire skeleton. Not having seen the first ending, I still prefer the idea of vampires trying to run an inheritance fraud scheme, mainly because its more original. “Supernatural Goings-On Were All A Hoax To Drive Someone Insane For Money”&nbsp;<a href="https://kestifer.blogspot.com/2010/10/id-say-it-was-highly-unusual-man-being.html">is a much more cliché plot twist than people realize.&nbsp;</a></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot;;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">So what's good about it? Honestly, not a whole lot. There are some fantastic and atmospheric shots, usually in the castle crypt, and the twist of “inheritance fraud vampires” is wonderfully goofy. Other than that, the movie is ill-paced with frequently bad acting, especially during reactions to scares. The biggest star of the film, Anita Ekberg, was a major beauty icon in the 50s and early 60s, even having a major role in Fellini's&nbsp;</span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><i>La Dolce Vita</i></span><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">, but there's little allure in a middle-aged sex symbol playing a character that feels written like they're in their early twenties.</span></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><span style="color: #f3f3f3; font-size: large;">Not recommended.&nbsp;</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UPZOwWXzGNY?rel=0?ecver=1" width="560"></iframe>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-72633786518682076432017-09-23T20:18:00.001-05:002017-09-23T20:18:56.558-05:00Beat-Em-Up to a Pulp<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pNy7oaFCfyk/WccE9JR6IKI/AAAAAAAABW8/yB8dfJbVrWQ8u5XDfDsbBfBGQxBszgZxACLcBGAs/s1600/Final%2BFight%2BCD%2B%2528U%2529%2B%2528Front%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1132" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pNy7oaFCfyk/WccE9JR6IKI/AAAAAAAABW8/yB8dfJbVrWQ8u5XDfDsbBfBGQxBszgZxACLcBGAs/s320/Final%2BFight%2BCD%2B%2528U%2529%2B%2528Front%2529.jpg" width="226" /></a></div><br /><br />So a recent Twitter conversation randomly shifted to the lost genre of Beat-Em-Up games.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Aside from nostalgia for pumping quarters into Final Fight at the Pizza Hut my Grandpa would take me to after school for a personal pan pizza, I managed to beat the arcade version of the game this year. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Its simple, even for its genre, but it still holds up. The SNES exclusive Final Fight 3 adds a ton of features, like more playable characters, combos, the ability to dash, and even a super move meter. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then epiphany hit. Beat-em-ups are, at their core, pulp adventures. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">A group of individuals numbering between one and at most six take to the streets to right a wrong. The world, or at least the city, needs saving. A lot of times, its the female love interest who gets kidnapped and its up to the hero and his friends to save her (Streets of Rage 2 remixes this by having it be one of the male protagonists of the first game be the one kidnapped).</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Double Dragon establishes the hero's motivation with maximum efficiency. A woman (Marian) is surrounded on a street by a mean looking gang. One of them walks up to her, slugs her in the gut, throws her over his shoulder, and carries her off. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kaj7ZdVBOAw?rel=0?ecver=1" width="560"></iframe> <br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Mission Start. Ten seconds of backstory is all you need to know. Action, romance, and morality (because good dudes don't sucker punch women and carry them off). </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Or take Final Fight. The newly-elected mayor of Metro City gets a call from the Mad Gear gang. They've kidnapped his daughter Jessica to extort his cooperation.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Since the mayor is Mike Haggar, the response is swift and decisive. He strips off his shirt and personally takes to the streets to suplex and pile driver anyone who gets in his way. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that he's a former professional wrestler. And this predates Jesse Ventura's governorship.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Sounds insane, right? Sure, but its <i>memorable</i>, and Haggar's design, moveset and moustache are so iconic that he's the poster boy of the franchise and the only one to be playable in every Final Fight game. He's even made it into <i>two</i>&nbsp;Marvel Vs Capcom games.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-01UzZuSxSVI/WccGSUh1D2I/AAAAAAAABXI/UG8zE7eccm4g98yKuZSDVGxXNSJFS1PBgCLcBGAs/s1600/Haggar%2BGalactus%2Bpile%2Bdriver.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="747" data-original-width="850" height="281" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-01UzZuSxSVI/WccGSUh1D2I/AAAAAAAABXI/UG8zE7eccm4g98yKuZSDVGxXNSJFS1PBgCLcBGAs/s320/Haggar%2BGalactus%2Bpile%2Bdriver.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Joining him are Cody, Jessica's boyfriend and the heroic everyman-type of protagonist, as well as Guy, Cody's friend and a ninja (because 1989), who has no emotional investment in the proceedings and only joins in <i>because its the right thing to do</i>. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Technological limitations had an effect on storytelling back then, but even so, that works for Beat-Em-Ups, which boil the story down into the minimal background required to invest you into going from left to right across a screen and literally beating everything you meet into a pulp.<br /><br />You want a deep story? There's lots of RPGs to scratch that itch.<br /><br />You want to play through an action movie? Memorable character designs that fit into gameplay archetypes taking on the world? Killer soundtracks? Eating fully cooked turkey you found in wooden crate?<br /><br />Don't actually do that last one.<br /><br /><br /></div><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/E5g-QHq925o?ecver=1" width="560"></iframe> <div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Hell yeah, its pulp.&nbsp;&nbsp;</div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-8996004430378103652017-09-12T20:05:00.000-05:002017-12-19T20:29:16.768-05:00Legends Never Die: Han Solo's Revenge<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-k4IKJQb_X0c/WbiDF1zLSVI/AAAAAAAABVo/kddNRWLpADwQc8OQYqBmVKDoO-v5LgHOACLcBGAs/s1600/Han%2BSolo%2BAdventures%2B02%2B-%2BHan%2BSolo%2527s%2BRevenge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="520" data-original-width="308" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-k4IKJQb_X0c/WbiDF1zLSVI/AAAAAAAABVo/kddNRWLpADwQc8OQYqBmVKDoO-v5LgHOACLcBGAs/s320/Han%2BSolo%2BAdventures%2B02%2B-%2BHan%2BSolo%2527s%2BRevenge.jpg" width="189" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><br /></span></i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">Han Solo at Stars' End</span></i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">was published in early 1979. The sequel, </span><i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">Han Solo's Revenge</span></i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">followed in late 1979. Whereas </span><i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">Stars' End</span></i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">ended up a prison break story, this turns into almost a James Bond style adventure/mystery.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif; font-size: large;">It begins with Han and Chewie (and the droids Bollux and Blue Max) operating a movie theater on a desert planet for easy credits. Unbeknownst to them, they've accidentally created a religious experience for the desert natives by showing a documentary of a water world. The scheme ends in a hurry when they try to show a different movie and they're back in space, desperate for cash.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-83ollHfuBkY/WbiDXJvV2RI/AAAAAAAABVw/0Stez5CLPckXAHA153e5azSZBOAZFmALQCLcBGAs/s1600/FiollaSoloBW2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="930" data-original-width="1600" height="186" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-83ollHfuBkY/WbiDXJvV2RI/AAAAAAAABVw/0Stez5CLPckXAHA153e5azSZBOAZFmALQCLcBGAs/s320/FiollaSoloBW2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif; font-size: large;">The solution comes in a simple, lucrative smuggling operation. One catch: Han finds out it involves running slaves. Han &amp; Chewie are rogues, but they absolutely refuse to get involved with any slavers. The immediate situation resolved, an angry Han Solo sets out to find the slavers and get the money they still owe him.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">To that end, Han runs into one Fiolla of Llord, a beautiful, idealistic and resourceful woman who's also a Corporate Sector Assistant Auditor-General trying to track down the very same slaving ring. Meanwhile Chewie has his hands full dealing with a persistent skip tracer named Spray, who shoves his way onto the </span><i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">Falcon</span></i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">, intending to repossess it once all the shooting stops. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lvx2EAvG42c/WbiDMD5QubI/AAAAAAAABVs/W9IWOf63IWEjTSURl4Qn3sqbpIkGJrn0ACLcBGAs/s1600/Spray.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="387" data-original-width="250" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lvx2EAvG42c/WbiDMD5QubI/AAAAAAAABVs/W9IWOf63IWEjTSURl4Qn3sqbpIkGJrn0ACLcBGAs/s320/Spray.jpg" width="206" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">Shootouts on a luxury spaceliner, planet hopping, a bomb on the </span><i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">Millennium Falcon</span></i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">, a high speed swoop bike chase scene five years before the speeder bikes of </span><i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">Return of the Jedi</span></i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">, and an encounter with Gallandro, the deadliest gunslinger in the Corporate Sector, if not the entire Galaxy. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">Much like </span><i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">Stars' End</span></i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">, </span><i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">Revenge</span></i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">runs at a rapid clip of action sequences, betrayals and more action sequences. Comic relief is also strong, as Bollux and Blue Max continue to provide their mix of competence and comedy, while Spray becomes an amusing foil for Chewie. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sttDvqYxMZw/WbiDjhbX-AI/AAAAAAAABV0/_EP7ZC_pd-Ysro6ERGLnxDnR-TPh9F0kACLcBGAs/s1600/Fiolla%2Bof%2BLlord.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="352" data-original-width="256" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sttDvqYxMZw/WbiDjhbX-AI/AAAAAAAABV0/_EP7ZC_pd-Ysro6ERGLnxDnR-TPh9F0kACLcBGAs/s320/Fiolla%2Bof%2BLlord.jpg" width="232" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">The real standout is Fiolla, one of the first genuinely memorable Expanded Universe female protagonists and love interests for Han. (Jessa from </span><i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">Stars' End</span></i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">counts too, but she's only there at the beginning and end of that story). Resourceful, witty, and occasionally naive in contrast to Han's practical cynicism, she's great. If one were feeling woke, it could be pointed out that she is a non-Caucasian female hero in a Star Wars story from 1979 and it was no big deal because the franchise was always diverse, but that would shatter the narrative.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;">She's also a genuinely good cop, which makes a strong contrast to the hard edge the Corporate Sector Authority had in the first book. Tyrants like Viceprex Hirken aren't the only employees in the Authority, which adds a nice layer of nuance. </span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KdrZ_j6Ky0E/WbiDroxxwxI/AAAAAAAABV4/sCptdYfxdLMhmgW1PnV2-foSIF34PgGfwCLcBGAs/s1600/Han%2BSolo%2BAdventures%2B02%2B-%2BHan%2BSolo%2527s%2BRevenge%2Bre-issue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KdrZ_j6Ky0E/WbiDroxxwxI/AAAAAAAABV4/sCptdYfxdLMhmgW1PnV2-foSIF34PgGfwCLcBGAs/s320/Han%2BSolo%2BAdventures%2B02%2B-%2BHan%2BSolo%2527s%2BRevenge%2Bre-issue.jpg" width="192" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif; font-size: large;">I absolutely recommend </span><i style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;, serif; font-size: x-large;">Han Solo's Revenge</i><span style="font-family: &quot;times new roman&quot; , serif; font-size: large;"> for fast-paced scum and villainy action, adventure and romance.&nbsp;</span></div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-59534591804944637722017-09-05T18:41:00.000-05:002017-09-05T18:41:36.722-05:00Movie Review: Robin Hood (1991)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PMpWTcqJGcg/Wa8z2U6welI/AAAAAAAABVM/mgooHJPjQgYOLyq1ANbhS-QxoXjfj78UgCLcBGAs/s1600/Robin%2BHood%2B%25281991%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="745" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PMpWTcqJGcg/Wa8z2U6welI/AAAAAAAABVM/mgooHJPjQgYOLyq1ANbhS-QxoXjfj78UgCLcBGAs/s320/Robin%2BHood%2B%25281991%2529.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">So you're probably already aware of <i><a href="https://kestifer.blogspot.com/2009/07/i-had-very-sad-childhood-ill-tell-you.html">Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves</a></i>which is an entertaining but ultimately mediocre and hollow movie with a great soundtrack and a damn entertaining Alan Rickman performance. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">But also released in 1991 was another <i>Robin Hood</i>movie. Directed by action veteran John Irvin and written by Sam Resnick and John McGrath. McGrath was a veteran TV writer but this is Resnick's only film credit on IMDB. The cast is full of veteran actors, but the biggest name a modern viewer will recognize is a young Uma Thurman in her Post-<i>Baron Munchausen</i>, Pre-<i>Pulp Fiction</i> early 90s period. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Robert Hode (Patrick Bergin) is the Saxon Earl of Huntington and friend Norman Baron Roger Dauguerre (Jeroen Krabbe). Things go sour when Sir Miles Folcanet (Jurgen Prochnow AKA the guy from <i>Das Boot</i>) arrives and arrogantly starts throwing his weight around. He's here to marry Dauguerre's niece Marian (Uma Thurman), but that's not why Robin rebels. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Much the Miller (Daniel Webb) is caught poaching and Robin stands up for him, preventing Sir Miles from blinding the peasant. During his trial, words get heated, pride gets insulted, and Robin punches his way out of the castle and becomes an outlaw with his kinsman Will Scarlett (Owen Teale). They hit upon the standard beats of the river fight with Little John (David Morrissey), the attempted thievery on Friar Tuck (Jeff Nuttall), Marian running off to join Robin disguised as a young man. All against the backdrop of Prince John's regency during King Richard's imprisonment. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">So why is this “The Good 1991 Robin Hood movie?” </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Tone.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It gets the spirit absolutely right. There's no way that an early 90s medieval movie would ever reach the joyful spirit of <i><a href="https://kestifer.blogspot.com/2009/07/i-live-in-forest-with-few-score-good.html">The Adventures of Robin Hood</a></i>, but while the costumes and sets feature lots of browns and washed out lighting, the spirit of the movie is deeply earthy. Characters sing (not elaborate musical numbers, just little ditties as they go along). There's some swashbuckling. There's trick shooting. There are glimpses of historical awareness, though they muddle together All Souls' Day with the Lord of Misrule tradition that belongs to Christmastide or the Merry Men getting powerful Welsh longbows about a hundred or so years before they became truly dominant in English battle tactics. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">These are legitimate mistakes, but there's an attempt at verisimilitude and not something so nakedly absurd as the Ewok Village or Celts or a Moor traveling the 12<sup>th</sup>Century English countryside because he has a Wookiee life-debt like in <i>Prince of Thieves</i>. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Then there's the romance. Marian is great here as a strong-willed and very court-savvy young woman with a sharp tongue. She has no interest in Sir Miles, and is charmed by Robin's benevolence and hot-blooded heroics. Even when she goes tomboy, she's still a girl in disguise and not simply an action movie character with boobs. This Marian's actually kind of bad in a fight, but still manages to get some good shots in. Compare with <i>Prince of Thieves</i>&nbsp;Marian who starts off the movie showing off her sword skills but becomes useless in the climactic fight scene.&nbsp;</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Robin himself is great too. There's no “You killed my father/betrayed my King, I need revenge!” motivation. He's just a proud, hot-headed nobleman with a rigid sense of morality who commits to his actions. Not quite Erroll Flynn heroic, but definitely channeling him. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Jeff Nuttall's Friar Tuck is also interesting. Nuttall was a major figure in 60s counterculture and artistic movements with an anarchic streak. Here he plays Tuck as a thoroughly shady character: evicted from his monastery for murdering another friar, he now travels the countryside selling chicken bones as saints' relics. Its an interesting thought behind why a man of God would go around with a band of outlaws, but Tuck's postmodern shadiness contrasts hard with Robin's straightforward heroism. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Straightforward heroism is the order of the day here. Robin is good, Sir Miles is bad (but not “consorting with sorcery and trying to rape Maid Marian” bad), and the two spiral toward a deadly confrontation before a legitimately earned happy ending. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Besides <i><a href="https://kestifer.blogspot.com/2009/07/put-him-in-tower-of-london-make-him.html">Men in Tights</a></i>, this forgotten little gem is the best Robin Hood movie made in the last thirty years or so. Highly recommended.<br /><br /><br />&nbsp; <iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/WGbFTcz3rlI?rel=0" width="560"></iframe></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-43725884597859945602017-09-03T09:20:00.000-05:002017-09-03T09:20:39.943-05:00Bike Week Bonanza: Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, Every Which Way But Loose, Heroes of the East<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I've taken to riding an exercise bike and watching a movie every day to kill two birds with one stone.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UTkdxoIItao/WawNrznxTII/AAAAAAAABUw/-r_1_jV0g_Y27fK_vydL-L_MOz1zuNlMgCLcBGAs/s1600/Mortal%2BKombat%2B%25281995%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="755" data-original-width="498" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UTkdxoIItao/WawNrznxTII/AAAAAAAABUw/-r_1_jV0g_Y27fK_vydL-L_MOz1zuNlMgCLcBGAs/s320/Mortal%2BKombat%2B%25281995%2529.jpg" width="211" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><i>Mortal Kombat</i> (1995)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Surprisingly good and probably the best video game movie adaptation. It plays smart by keeping it close to the original “Deathmatch Tournament” plot with broadly-drawn archetypes meeting up to punch each other. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Set design is outstanding and the CGI isn't overused beyond the limits of mid-90s graphics. Christopher Lambert is a stroke of genius as Raiden. The rest of the heroes are well handled, especially Johnny Cage's story arc. The Goro costume/effects are impressive. Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa steals the show as douchebag sorcerer Shang Tsung. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The fight scenes rely too much on quick cuts. Scorpion doesn't do much except have a cool fight with Cage. Sub-Zero dies like a bitch.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Unpretentious and a lot of fun. Probably the best Paul W. S. Anderson movie I've seen. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8TNmV0pgdR8/WawOGA9vpWI/AAAAAAAABU0/kW-fDbKUKDcxvRr98i7z-poL7nbIC7AbwCLcBGAs/s1600/mortal_kombat_annihilation_ver2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="755" data-original-width="504" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8TNmV0pgdR8/WawOGA9vpWI/AAAAAAAABU0/kW-fDbKUKDcxvRr98i7z-poL7nbIC7AbwCLcBGAs/s320/mortal_kombat_annihilation_ver2.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><i>Mortal Kombat: Annihilation</i>(1997)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The sequel that replaces almost the entire cast except Liu Kang and Kitana. James Remar (from the Warriors) does a serviceable job as Raiden, but lacks the touch of amused madness that made Lambert's version so good. Brian Thompson (the bad guy from <i>Cobra</i>) is halfway to a good Shao-Kahn, but making him into a daddy's boy hurts the character badly, but that's also because Shinnok ruins everything.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Surprisingly faithful to Mortal Kombat 3's plot, it suffers from a plot that's more ambitious than its budget can allow. Smoke and Cyrax get fun fights. Nightwolf shows up for one scene to spout vision quest nonsense about animalities to Liu Kang. The heroic Sub-Zero II (yes, that's canon) shows up to fight Scorpion, spout some ninja nonsense, and then vanishes entirely from the movie in a complete waste of one of the series' most popular characters. Sheeva, Rain, and Baraka die like chumps. Which I guess is in character, but still...</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">CGI is more heavily used, to its detriment. Motaro looks like ass. Liu Kang and Shao-Kahn's dragon vs hydra Animality fight is AWFUL. Set design remains pretty good.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Considerably weaker than the first. Pretty bad, but entertaining at least.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yYEXYQ0Kcsg/WawObVi4TkI/AAAAAAAABU4/5n_f_P4vMmAJqfHwy09-0J9WUzLttbK1QCLcBGAs/s1600/Every%2BWhich%2BWay%2BBut%2BLoose%2Bposter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1426" data-original-width="1000" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yYEXYQ0Kcsg/WawObVi4TkI/AAAAAAAABU4/5n_f_P4vMmAJqfHwy09-0J9WUzLttbK1QCLcBGAs/s320/Every%2BWhich%2BWay%2BBut%2BLoose%2Bposter.jpg" width="224" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><i>Every Which Way But Loose</i> (1978)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Clint Eastwood as street fighting trucker Philo Beddoe with a pet orangutan named Clyde. No reason given for Clyde. No reason needed. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Philo falls in love with a mysterious country-western singer Lynn Halsey-Taylor who leaves him one night and he takes off after her with his ape and his best friend Orville (Geoffrey Lewis). </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Philo's something of an asshole since he keeps provoking fights everywhere he goes. He pisses off an idiot biker gang and a short-fused pair of cops. Both groups chase after him. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Its funny, and shows the American working class as affable and heroic. His sidekick Orville finds love with a young Beverly D'Angelo, but Philo himself discovers that the woman he's followed to Denver from California is a shallow, selfish manipulator. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Its good, but fairly subversive toward the idea of romance. Doesn't really stick the landing. Its got an old lady blowing up motorcycles with a shotgun, though, so there's that.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mHt5fbZovxw/WawOmSHdbnI/AAAAAAAABU8/AsySKCi2mf0WCOM05zEhRd8lXjEjDdflwCLcBGAs/s1600/Heroes%2Bof%2Bthe%2BEast%2B%25281978%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1266" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mHt5fbZovxw/WawOmSHdbnI/AAAAAAAABU8/AsySKCi2mf0WCOM05zEhRd8lXjEjDdflwCLcBGAs/s320/Heroes%2Bof%2Bthe%2BEast%2B%25281978%2529.jpg" width="227" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><i>Heroes of the East</i> AKA <i>Shaolin Challenges Ninja</i> AKA <i>Zhong hua zhang fu</i> (1978)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Shaw Brothers production. Directed by veteran martial artist/stunt actor/director Chia-Liang Liu and starring Shaw Brothers staple Gordon Liu/Chia-Hui Liu. Action comedy about a Chinese man put into an arranged marriage with a Japanese woman. Both like each other, but both are martial artists and deeply proud of their respective heritages/styles. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Misunderstandings lead to arguments, which lead to some <i>Taming of the Shrew</i>moments and then lead to him inadvertently insulting all of her martial arts teachers, who show up looking to avenge the insult. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Cue a series of fights where Liu has to fight them off one by one, using different Chinese Kung Fu styles against their varied Japanese styles. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Its got a light touch and (typical of the genre) the fight scenes are where it shines. Nunchaku, katana, jian swords, spears, sai, butterfly swords, three-sectioned-staff, judo, karate, drunken boxing, crane style, ninjutsu, etc. Watch Kung Fu movie fight choreography, and you'll see how just about every modern Western action director needs to be slapped in the face repeatedly for their terrible editing choices.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Naturally, the Chinese protagonist wins (reconciling with his wife along the way), but the Japanese fighters aren't treated like cartoon villains like in a lot of other Kung Fu cinema (remember, WWII Japan was not kind to China). Its a showcase and celebration of different styles of martial arts. Entertaining and impressive.&nbsp; </div>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19016059.post-68981287409393817142017-08-28T18:44:00.000-05:002017-08-28T18:44:43.019-05:00Movie Review: Mr. Majestyk (1974)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OlDILvn7btg/WaSqHFAA8UI/AAAAAAAABUE/RHylIiQQWy8Gnh19txhVBhggpxz2yyMxQCLcBGAs/s1600/Mr._Majestyk_Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="755" data-original-width="501" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OlDILvn7btg/WaSqHFAA8UI/AAAAAAAABUE/RHylIiQQWy8Gnh19txhVBhggpxz2yyMxQCLcBGAs/s320/Mr._Majestyk_Poster.jpg" width="211" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">1974's <i>Mr. Majestyk</i>is a curious little early action film that's largely been forgotten, despite having a reasonably large pedigree. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It stars timeless tough guy Charles Bronson as Vince Majestyk.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It was written by pulp western and crime novelist Elmore Leonard.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">And it was directed by big picture filmmaker Richard Fleischer, who directed 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Soylent Green, Fantastic Voyage and, uh, Conan the Destroyer.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Its about a grumpy Vietnam veteran with a criminal record who now owns a melon farm in Colorado. All he wants to do is bring in his harvest for the year, but fate seems to have it out for him.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Sounds like a Steinbeck novel about the plight of the working class and death of the American Dream, right?</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Wrong. This is Bronson we're talking about, not Tom Joad. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">After a confrontation with a small time shakedown scheme, Majestyk gets arrested on bogus charges. During a stay in prison, he meets mob hitman Frank Renda, played by gangster character actor Al Lettieri. The two hate each other immediately.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">When the mob tries to spring Renda during a prisoner transfer, a firefight with the cops ensues. In the chaos, Majestyk grabs the keys to Renda's handcuffs and drives off with him in the prison bus. Renda tries to cut a deal, but Majestyk has other plans.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">He wants to hand the hitman over to the police in exchange for dropping the charges against him so he can go back to his melon farm. It doesn't work out as planned. Renda escapes and boy is he mad.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The good news is that the charges against Majestyk got dropped. The bad news is that Renda's out to kill him. The best news is that he can go back to his melon harvest. On one condition: That he act as bait to lure out Renda.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The harvest is brought in successfully. He starts up a relationship with migrant worker and union activist Nancy Chavez (Linda Cristal). He helped her out at the beginning of the movie and hired her group.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">But then tragedy! </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Renda makes his move, but Majestyk's not at home, so the mobster settles for the next best thing: destroying the melon harvest with sad violin music playing over it. I swear it makes more sense in context.<br /><br /></div><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KbBP8qGv4mE?rel=0?ecver=1" width="560"></iframe> <br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">What follows is a very satisfying road to revenge. Its got shootouts. Its got an old Ford pickup barreling down perilous mountain trails with Bronson bouncing around in the flatbed shooting a shotgun. Its got ramp jumps. Its got a car going over the side of a cliff and exploding. Its got Bronson jumping through a window blasting away with his shotgun. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Its good stuff.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">There's a few nods to the labor disputes of the early 70s, but at its core, its basically a libertarian western. The man just wants to get his harvest in and make some money, and the cops do nothing except get in the way of that. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Everybody else in the movie thinks he's crazy, since with all the madness going on, his main fixation is the melon harvest. But in context, it makes sense. Its his livelihood and independence on the line, and he'd be ruined it he couldn't sell the crop. Even the melon massacre works in that context. The hero and villain both understand the symbolism of the crop. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">There are some slower parts here and there, but Leonard's script keeps things building nicely. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br /></div><br /><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It may not be his finest work, but at the end of the day, its Charles Bronson kicking ass for a hundred minutes. What more do you need to recommend it?<br /><br /><br /></div><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/em6nLpVuC3M?rel=0?ecver=1" width="560"></iframe>K. Paul Kalvaitishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09142868567992464226noreply@blogger.com2