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Monday Musings-the lies we tell ourselves

by jsackmom on January 19, 2016

I’m a truthful person I’ve been taught to always be honest but never cruel, to be appreciative and not take things or people for granted. To always speak from my heart instead of inventing a lie. There’s one lie I’ve told myself is that I’m fine. I’m really not when I say that, it’s a easy way of letting the world know I have it together.

Even though it appears like I do I really don’t, I’m struggling and I hide behind the mask that I present to world. I always think about that quote

“Be kind to others, because everyone is fighting their own secret battles.”

I am a kind and loving person and I’m raising my children to be this way as well. I teach them to tell the truth, and to let them know they can tell their parents anything. I give them the opportunity to tell the truth first then give consequences if they’re not honest with me. I don’t want them to think it’s ok to tell me they’re fine when they’re not. Or that “I didn’t do it”or “I don’t know broke” the lamp.

We tell ourselves these lies because it’s hard to face the truth sometimes. But even though it’s an old cliche the truth will set us free. There’s nothing to remember when you tell the truth, there’s nothing that needs to be created when honesty is the best policy. I’m dealing with a situation right now of lies being told. I have given the opportunity to hear the truth but wasn’t given that respect.

So now there are consequences and disappointment. Why do we have to hide behind a mask of untruths instead of just being honest? Why does it feel better to lie and make ourselves feel better than ripping off the bandaid and exposing ourselves? It’s easier to hide behind a facade then to be real with ourselves. This is a foreign concept for me as I was taught the truth is a positive way to live my life.

To be lied to is to be disrespected, and the hurt that arises from that is crushing. I don’t need to build myself up with a house of cards where the truth is distorted and I can’t tell what is real or what is not. Whether it happens sooner or later that house of deception comes crashing down around you. Be real, it’s the only way to feel good about yourself don’t build yourself up into being someone you don’t recognize or respect.

I’m going to start taking my own advice when people ask me how I’m doing I’m not going to say fine. I will tell the truth I’m happy the sun’s shining, I’m struggling but I’m finding a way to cope. I owe it to myself to speak the truth and not hiding behind a mask I’ve created out of fear. William Shakespeare is one of my favourite poets and playwrights and he spoke the truth when he created this simple but profound quote.

“To thine own self be true”

It’s time for #Mondaymusings and all you have to do is this list of things.

Write a post sharing your thoughts with us – happy, sad, philosophical, ‘silly’ even. Make it as personal as possible.Use the hashtag #MondayMusings and link to this post.Add your link to the linky which you will find either here and on the post of a co-host.Use our #MondayMusings badge to help other bloggers join in too.Visit and comment on the posts of other bloggers linked here.

Sounds like a tricky situation. I’m glad you’re committed to truth, and that you’re teaching your children the importance of it.

I still remember how scared I was when I first intentionally told a lie. I remember how elated, too, when I got away with it. I got caught in a lie not long ago and it was a mess, all of my own making. So yeah, honesty probably is the best policy.

It really is because it’s such a easy thing to do by being honest. I have told a few lies in my time and suffered greatly. The guilty sweats, inventing other lies not to get caught, but as you know the truth always prevails. Now I just invent things in my fictional stories. The truth resonates deeply in me and I’ll never forget that feeling of utter helplessness of telling a lie. Like you said honesty is the best policy. ❤️

I escaped that one, being protestant! I get it with the guilt, but I think I’m learning to sit with the guilt more, which…is probably not a good thing, but it is what it is. I’m sure at some point I’ll come unstuck, but there you go. Until that point…I guess I just have to reconcile to myself that I’m a person with questionable ethics sometimes 🙂

I think you’re lovely and I wouldn’t question your ethics. I remember Bono being asked why he had become such a philanthropist when he was meeting Arch bishop Desmond Tutu and he replied “there’s nothing like Irish Catholic guilt to motivate you.” 😉

If you had met my Mom and Gram who thought telling a lie was sinful and penance of 10 Hail Mary’s and 10 Our Fathers and act of contrition would be given. It made lying into an Olympic event with all the forgiving God needed to do for a little kid that did the wrong thing. It scared me to the straight and narrow mighty quick. 😉

“Why do we have to hide behind a mask of untruths instead of just being honest? Why does it feel better to lie and make ourselves feel better than ripping off the bandaid and exposing ourselves? It’s easier to hide behind a facade then to be real with ourselves.”

This resonated hard with me as someone who literally lived a lie (presenting as female) for three decades. Yes, in some ways the lie was easier, and there are times when being my true self is hard and I find myself back at that crossroads in my mind again, wondering whether I should just go back the other way. But then I imagine what that would actually be like, and it’s unthinkable.

Oh wow Vince reading that just gave me goosebumps! Yes lies can be easy I believe that’s why we live with them. But to be a seeker of your own truth and to stand in the realization of who we truly are is a gift! I’m so happy that you’re working through that crossroads and being comfortable with yourself. Keep rocking you. 😃🌟

A very honest post. I was having a discussion with a friend on FB on double lives led by people. Truth is a very important aspect of one’s life and though a tricky road, it always leads to fulfillment. It may be a tough road but truth ultimately helps the battle of life.

My Mom always said be careful if you choose to lie…it’s complicated and you have to remember that lie so when you need to repeat it, you get it right. A bit convoluted, perhaps, but she makes a good point. I’ve seen the Monday Musings go around but never knew what it was. I quite like this because I never know what the heck to write on Monday to start the week.

You should join up it’s fun to just let your mind free to write whatever pops into. Follow the embedded link and you’ll see the link button. Our Mom’s are wise to instil a honest approach to the truth. I’ve heard some whoppers in my time and I’d rather write fiction than speak it. 😊

Like you, I always say, just fine to answer the question that all people ask….do they really care how I am, I think not…some may actually care, but do they really want me to go into details..?? I think not…our true friends, and family care..and they generally don’t need to ask how we are because they already know….good for you…answer honestly…I probably should, but then again since I retired I am not out and about and hardly talk to anyone that doesn’t really know me besides the strangers in stores and they never great you with the got to questions…how are you?? Its nice that every now and then my husband ask me how I am, and I know he means it….love your post…really sparked with me….kat

Thank you Kat, I really appreciate you reading. I agree when someone really knows you they don’t have to ask. It’s so rewarding though when they do. I’m choosy about who I share with as well. As I ask myself who really can handle the truth if I told them? But fine never seems enough for me nowadays so I answer in the moment. I know who I can really trust with my truth. 😊

I agree with you…..its good your picking who to share with….my general response when I was working was I was fine…there is only one person who knows when I was lying, my daughter…LOL I can’t keep anything from her…..xxkat