My philosophy is simple: When I love somebody, I don’t stop loving other things/people. I can feel the same amout of sympathy for more than one person and I don’t feel usual jealousy. When I love, I want that person to be happy and fullfill theirselfs, regardless of if I’m close to them or not. I try my best to make them happy without bending and changing myself, and when there’s somebody who makes them happier as I do I grant them it. I feel that kind of way since always, and I want my lovers to feel the same about me. I am as honest as I can be about my feelings, I tell my lovers when I am hurt and I expect them to do the same. A good polyamoristic relationship can only work with deep trust and honesty.
For example, it would be horrible for me to find out that one of my lovers/friends loves somebody else, but she don’t want to betray me and don’t want to hurt me. I can’t even imagine that! I always encourage my friends to flirt when I can see they are interested in somebody else.Btw, I’m not sure if one can “learn” this kind of relationship. As I said, I’ve been like this since always and as much as I tried, I was never able to understand strict monogamous relationships. I really can’t understand how somebody would be angry at his/her partner (which (s)he claims to love truly!) for loving more than one person by heart. Loving is something so beautiful and fullfilling, why should one destroy it by bringing it on a personal level? (as in: Feeling offened and hurt)

Maybe it’s easy for me because I can deal with jealousy very well. It’s not that I don’t feel it at all, it’s just that I trust my lovers/friends. When they tell me how much they like me, what they feel for me, I try to feel them. And when they are with somebody else, I remember their words. To feel jealousy would mean for me that I don’t believe them what I mean to them, you know?
Also I’m very grateful for every positive feeling they hold for me, and I would not demand more of them. I take what I get and I cherish it. I don’t feel the need to ask for more. I guess you can say that I just go with the flow of the love around me?

I really dislike the feeling to possess somebody, or being possessed. To me, people are not “something” that belongs to somebody. They are equal beings who cross your path at one point or another, and I don’t need to commit them in order to feel good. They decided by their own will to walk next to me for a while, and that already makes me happy. (Btw, that’s why one-night-stands with the right people work for me pretty well, too! I am allowed to feel another person for a brief moment, I let her close, she let’s me close, it’s just precious and I appriciate it much.)
I want to cherish them, feel them, appriciate them. I don’t want to bind them.