January 31, 2017 @ (NY)

This was my first time dating a guy. I'm a softmore in high school and he is a senior. Throughout highschool I talked to many different guys but I was always ending up being used. TBH it's hard to come around a respectful guy and I bet you all are aweare of that... anyway, out of the blue I started dating this guy and I had never felt happier in a relationship with someone. Even though I am still very young, through him i found out how I should really be treated and respected. He was my bestfirend and i felt so open and free with him , I never knew someone like him existed. Saying that sounds cliche but he was definitely a big part of my life. We dated for 6 months, which very much impressed me because i usually get over a guy fast! 2 days befor Halloween, I felt very strange about our relationship. He always had work and I got fed up with not being able to be with him all the time.. I didn't know how to handle my anger, so I asked for a break. I knew I was loosing feelings, not all to do with him, but more so the timing was awful. he was also leaving to collage soon. I just felt a little heartbroken. I knew he cared about me very much, when I told him I wanted a break he cried and that was so strange to see because i never had a guy cry over me. We loved eachother one day but the next i just couldn't be in the relationship any longer. He resipricated by telling me he doesn't want a full commitment beucase he's a senior and maybe we can get back together later if the timing is right. It sucked to hear but I knew he was right. He wanted to belive we could be friends, but at that time I felt as if the rest of his party life as a senior was the most important thing to him. We broke up on Halloween night, the day after we said all of this too eachother. He knew I wanted to break up with him BUT HE WOULDNT LET ME. I think it was somthing to do with his pervious relationship when his X broke up w him due to the same reason. So yep Halloween night he texted me a shitty breakup text saying he wants his independence . that made me so much more attached knowing i couldn't have him. We talked a little as friends after but we both agreed if we would ever want to get back together we can't be friends. I haven't talked to him for 2 months now and I don't know how i have made it this far , all I know is I deserve better , but I miss my best friend. Knowing our past and how alike we are , I somtimes do belive we will get back together but i never want to hurt myself again. What is your opinion on this type of breakup and any advice ???