We have all been there. The other day I was having a conversation about keeping versus throwing away the gifts your EX partner gave you once. My friend was telling me how she went into the ‘rage mode’ and broke every single thing which was somehow related to her ex boyfriend. I thought it is a little bit extreme and was shocked to even make a comment on this sort of action.

I never got rid of the things that my ex lover, boyfriend or one month fling so nicely awarded me with. To be honest, most of the clothes are hanged in the closet waiting to be sold on Ebay because I have never really liked them anyway.

Lace bodycon dress was a real miss but to please my boyfriend I wore it on the valentine’s day. Now I probably would not even pretend to like something I do not feel comfortable in. That dress is my lesson to stay true to myself.

All my ‘ex gifts’ are my reminder of something I have learnt about relationships, men or most importantly me. Erasing the past we want to forget our mistakes, failures or broken hearts but throwing away an expensive dress usually does not help your wallet or your self esteem.

I decided to confess my sins, to be more specific, the foodie one. I don’t really know how many normal people get the days when feeling sorry for yourself is buried in the fattening pizza with some extra cheese. The last time I bought a package of chocolate ice cream cones I was silly to think it will last me for ever. ‘For Ever’ lasted for a few hours and before I knew it I felt guilty…

Everything starts with the boredom or negative emotions. Lack of excitement is the reason I start to look at the food as some sort of comfort too. Just to let you know, I am not fat and I exercise at least few times a week. However, all of the efforts to reach my perfect weight, less than 50 kg, does not seem to work. And I know why, for me food is not a guilty pleasure anymore, most of the time it feels like a sin. I love watching my favourite tv shows while having a healthy snack. The problem is even ‘healthy’ has to be moderated.

Addiction to the tasty food is my ultimate tragedy but I do not even want to change it. I want to have control over it!

Out of the blue question of today is : Can we blame marketing for this? That’s what I came up with when analysing not only my problems but the price of the junk food, food merchandising in the supermarkets, food in film, advertising and of course instagram with a hashtag #foodporn !

So I came across this blog entry of another blogger on wordpress. It told us a story about flirty text messaging between a man and a woman. I kept thinking about one thing all day though…

That woman sent some erotic images of herself to a guy. I know this sort of action definitely excites man’s brain (and not only brain!) but would not you simply call it a risk ?

These days it is so easy to share anything you want with the world, but at the same time it is so difficult to protect your identity. I knew men who liked to brag about receiving these images without realising it is simply not respectful to the sender of the content. Whether it is a man you are sleeping with or the man you want to sleep with, remember the fact that relationships are complicated, think how many times everything ends and you see how a good man becomes an upset boy who will do everything to boost his ego.

Maybe I have some issues with trusting other people but I personally would be very careful when doing something like that.

MY ADVICE – Just think twice!

Let’s face the reality, if you are not Rosie Huntington Whiteley and you are not photographed by Mario Testino you do not want the rest of the world to see your booty.

A few months ago I told you about the date I went to and I stated that the second date is already arranged. Well, time passed and I totally forgot about my little ‘romance’. It is funny because when I think what went wrong I find it difficult to describe what it is exactly. So, let’s do it in the old fashion and probably a little bit cruel LIST style :

1.NO CONFIDENCE (IMPORTANT, VERY IMPORTANT! If you do not like and can’t even pretend to like yourself how can someone else like you? )

2. BODY LANGUAGE ( If you want to kiss me just do it! I will not be the first to do it. And if you blow the chance twice…No more dates?)

3. Being sorry for being interesting ( Yes, he had a few cocktails and he got tipsy. More tipsy than me haha But we started talking about religion and I love a meaningful discussion. The problem is sending me a long text message with an apology afterwards. What for again?)

3. JUST BEING TOO DIFFERENT ( Conversation is flowing… but I am much more relaxed and silly than he is. Our aura, or whatever it is called, just did not click.)

4. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION (Lesson learnt ! Don’t ever say to me it is not important….Probably this is the main factor that killed it for me, and maybe for him too.)

In the end of the day, I better live my happy, single life than settle down for ‘meh’.

Happy Father’s day! My family is too far away to celebrate it but I wanted to notify it on my blog.

Today was not about appreciating my dad or my family. It was about seeing a friend and understanding that someone you maybe do not know for too long can became close to you. It was about saying thank you and exploring new places, getting lost together and driving back home. I believe that friend becomes a true friend when a special moment finally happens. This drive around the city today helped two people remember what brought them together. A special moment usually happens when you do something or say something. In this case, it was about words. To be honest, it is usually words that make me get to know someone. That moment when you share a secret or express emotions, when you do not talk anymore but when you say something meaningful. It is like standing naked in front of someone and waiting for them not to judge you but understand and support you. Little smile or a nod and you hope it will always stay the same.

Most of the time you grow apart and the moment passes by. Different moment with a different person happens and you are ‘starting’ a new friendship. But with some people it always stays the same and you naturally know when the person nods and when he smiles at you, you are not afraid, you know you will not be judged. This is what a true friend and a true friendship is. No boundaries, timeless.

Sometimes I am scared of being young and sometimes I feel like I am growing old too fast. When you look at me I have no career, I am at university trying to invest in my ‘future’. I know that for the most of the people it seems perfectly normal but who decided we need to live this way. I am so sick of the society which pretends to be educated but has no critical thinking about the most of the things around it. And don’t get me wrong I think education is the best thing that ever happened to me.This is the reason why I left my home,my country, my family, my friends. This is also the reason why I stopped for one year and just lived my life as it is…Because at that time my exam results were not as good as the system wanted it to be. You know what? I agree, everything does happen for the reason and if you overcome obstacles you start to appreciate what you have achieved.You can be happy….. But what do you do when you look around and you see people who are a few years younger than you and who have no idea what is happening in Ukraine,Syria,Afghanistan or Africa? What do you do when women start to compete with each other of who looks better, who has a better figure, nicer smile or a more expensive dress? What do you do when you look in the mirror and you understand you are growing older but you still have not made a difference in anyone’s life? Being young is scary because of the future and being old makes you regret the things you have not done… What is the purpose of life? I never tell ….but what worries me I share using my messy thoughts on my dirty pink laptop.

So yes I am one of those girls…I like freedom,I am addicted to that feeling when you do what you want and you don’t need to discuss it with anyone,when you are in a relationship and you enjoy the feeling that someone loves you so much but you can’t even call it L.O.V.E….I thought I will always stay the same because I kept controlling myself and I still do.However, I always had friends around me and I never set any boundaries.Those friends are the best friends,they are typical to the ones you see in the perfect films : THEY WILL BE HERE FOR YOU NO MATTER WHAT! And then one day one of them starts to follow his dream and goes away..And you support the decision because obviously I am a good friend. And you know what?you know whaaaat?! I want to scream and cry because I feel alone,because I tried to ignore all the feelings and I still got heart broken,because sometimes loosing a friend is much worse than loosing a boyfriend,husband or a lover..

THE QUESTION OF TODAY IS : IS THAT THE SAD PART OF SO CALLED ‘LIFE’?????