I just got word that a lifelong friend appairently killed himself at his caban up in the mountains over the weekend . He was found yesterday after the local fauna ( bears ) had found him and from the story i heard it appears he hung himself .

My friend who i will just call by his first name now (Mike ) was one of the most over all talented , and careing folks i have eaver met .

Mike was allways somewhat troubled , and had problems with depression since our teen years , so the news was not a real " Shock " to me, none the less.... GODDAMIT How dare he do this **** to everyone that loved him .

Some will know that about a year ago i lost someone close to me in a real bad situation that ended in suicide . I am dammed sick of this and want to say to anyone who is depressed that suicide is NOT an answer to anything . Get some help , Get a life , Go blow the bank account on cheap women and a live band .. i dont care what it takes to " cope " JUST DO IT
I got this in an email friday and will post it here ...

"Thanks for your time"

A young man learns what's most important in life from the guy next door.

It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him.

Over the phone, his mother told him, "Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday." Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

"Jack, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It's been so long since I thought of him. I'm sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago," Jack said.

"Well, he didn't forget you. Every time I saw him he'd ask how you were doing. He'd reminisce about the many days you spent over 'his side of the fence' as he put it," Mom told him.

"I loved that old house he lived in," Jack said.

"You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man's influence in your life," she said

"He's the one who taught me carpentry," he said. "I wouldn't be in this business if it weren't for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important..Mom, I'll be there for the funeral," Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser's funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture....Jack stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong, Jack?" his Mom asked.

"The box is gone," he said

"What box?" Mom asked.

"There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he'd ever tell me was 'the thing I value most,'" Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

"Now I'll never know what was so valuable to him," Jack said. "I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom."

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. "Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days," the note read.

Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. "Mr. Harold Belser" it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack's hands shook as he read the note inside.

"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

"Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser."

"The thing he valued most...was...my time"

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. "Why?" Janet, his assistant asked.

"I need some time to spend with my son," he said.

"Oh, by the way, Janet...thanks for your time!"

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away,"

Think about this. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3 A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

4 Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

5. You mean the world to someone.

6. If not for you, someone may not be living.

7. You are special and unique.

8. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you trust God to do what's best, and wait on His time, sooner or later, you will get it or something better.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

11. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

12. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

13. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy.

14. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

Send this letter to all the people you care about, if you do so, you will certainly brighten someone's day and might change their perspective on life...for the better.

To everyone I sent this to

"Thanks for your time"

Kinda strange on the timeing , but hey , Someone cares for you , and TALK to a friend before you pull any irrevocable crap .

Details on Mike are still sketchy so far but i had to vent a bit .

Mods , feel free to edit the post or delete it as needed or if i am out of line .

Be well all , and PLEASE consider things BEFORE you decide what is best if you are depressed . Mike did nothing but deprive all of us the light that he brought to our world .

July 20th, 2006, 01:28 PM

MattInFla

Hang in there RR. I know how bad it sucks.

I also know what it is like to wonder "how could I not have known?" and "what could I have done?"

The bottom line is you couldn't know and there was nothing you could have done. It takes a while to accept that, but it is true.

None of us will ever truly know the internal struggles of those around us.

Matt

July 20th, 2006, 03:39 PM

Old Chief

Hang in there RR. Happiness is not the years in our life but the life in our years.

July 20th, 2006, 03:49 PM

P95Carry

Bob - so sorry to hear of such a thing - let me tho with some pleasure throw back at you - and in fact the other members here -

''Thank you for your time''.

July 20th, 2006, 08:02 PM

dr_cmg

RR, it is obvious that you care about not just those you know personally, but those you know only through the medium of the internet. Having been through and dealt with depression, I second your comment. If you are dealing with depression get help.

People think that suicide solves their problem and maybe in a sense it does, but it creates a multitude of problems for those of us who remain behind.

When I was going through depression and fighting it, there was one thought and one thought alone that prevented me from ever giving in to the thoughts of suicide. I would ask myself if my wife and my family would be better off without me. I could convince myself that they would be better off financially, but a picture of my wife's face would come into my mind and I knew that she would be heart broken. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that there wasn't enough money in the world to make her believe that she was better off with me gone. I did not seek help, but one day help sought me in the form of that same wife who's image had sustained me for weeks. That was the turning point.

In the almost twenty-five years since that major bout with depression I have had some minor times, but have learned to recognize them and cut them off quickly. I have also been able to counsel a number of people in or on the verge of depression. Helping them to realize, as your post mentioned, that someone cares and that they are important to someone is the first step to recovery.

Thanks for sharing and thanks for your time.

July 20th, 2006, 08:32 PM

tec

From somebody who has had to suffer with depression, and still do from time to time, I understand your frustration and what he did. I am sorry. Please keep in your mind that generally (not always) depression is caused by chemical imbalances INSIDE the brain. While suffering with these imbalances, one's thinking and logic process are heavily off kilter. Up is not up and right is not right.

My thoughts are with you.

Depression is real and depression can be real dangerous if left undiagnosed and untreated. If somebody you know has depression but will not get treatment for it, 1.) keep and eye on them 2.) be there for them, 3.) encourage them to go in for treatment.

July 20th, 2006, 10:13 PM

Rock and Glock

Hang in there. Women and a live band! Sounds fun!

July 20th, 2006, 10:55 PM

Baby Hulk

RR - Thanks for taking the 'time' to share your insightful thoughts. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Suicide is a selfish act, pure and simple.

The father of one of my best friends in high school committed suicide, leaving my friend and his sister orphans at 17. I'll never forget the emotional impact and being there for him to help him (as much as a person can in such a situation!) during the dark hours.

My best friend whom I met over 23 yrs ago in Jr hi. thankfully sought medical help for his depression. His closest friends like myself saw the 'classic' signs but were blind :redface:

If your life has never been tragically touched by suicide, consider yourself blessed.

Thanks for the soapbox!!

July 21st, 2006, 12:41 AM

Freedz

Sorry to hear about that man. I know how you feel, one of my best friends checked out in a quite similar manner about a year and a half ago. My best advice to you right now is not to beat yourself up trying to figure out all the "whys". No one ever figures it out exactly. Just remember the good time and it will help.