The Control Paradox (Dick)

I have a T-Shirt that says, “I’M THE BOSS!” with subtext that reads, “my wife said I could be“. You’ll never guess who gave me that shirt.

Woody Allen said, “In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker”.

Tag line from The Man Song says, “I’m the king of my castle, when you’re not around”.

The sentiment of these emasculating statements is not a blanket truth in the Dick-n-Jane house, but it is true often enough that I find these lines completely hilarious. Jane has some dominant personality characteristics and a desire for control dwells beneath her sexy feminine exterior.

In the bedroom it’s a different story, I almost always take the lead and that’s the way Jane likes it. We are not a couple who engages in intense power exchanges; no flogging, no castigation, no safe words… but, contrary to Jane’s affection for control outside the bedroom, she really likes mildly forceful physical domination while we’re fucking.

If I place a hand on her chest or back and apply my weight to pin her down during our ascent toward climax her sexual response intensifies. The same is true for a firm hand around the back of her neck which sends the strong message that I am in charge and I’ll take what I want from her. If I contribute to her sense of helplessness she responds immediately with heightened sexual excitement.

At first she didn’t even recognize her own reaction to my forceful play, it must have felt natural enough to her in the moment that she missed it. Eventually I brought it up in conversation and she was a little surprised. Like if someone points out that you are humming when you didn’t realize it, suddenly you become self aware and wonder why you didn’t notice the humming yourself.

If you haven’t tried something like this before, guys, and you are not sure how she will respond, go into it easy and pay attention to the cues. If she punches you in the face you did it wrong (unless maybe that’s her thing). Chances are very good she will respond with affirmation that you are a hunky, sex-crazed animal. Chicks dig that. ;o)

For a list of things chicks don’t dig, please refer back to this video for quick reference.