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life in the eyes of an empress .

friendship .

From when I was a kid my mom always encouraged me to go out and make friends .

At school , parties , family gatherings … basically anywhere my mom made it a point to remind me to be positive and leave knowing at least one new person . I didn’t see the harm in it . Eventually every time I went to a children’s party I knew at least one kid and there was no awkward situations . We would exchange house numbers or even emails and hope to keep in touch .

High school was the same way . It was just a bit harder for me since I switched schools in the middle of first semester . By that time everyone had their “BFFs” and their cliques going on so making friends was a bit difficult . NOT TO MENTION the fact that I had just taken off my braces so I had to wear my retainers … How I despise those retainers . They gave me a lisp which later helped create my nickname but I’m getting side tracked … It did not take me long to make new friends but with making “friends” came haters too . I’ve experienced bullying before but at least the people that made fun of me never tried to be my friend . High school exposed me to the meaning of the term wolves in sheep’s clothing . It wasn’t until the end of high school that I learned who my true friends were .

Running with the same crew of girls and a few guys for the first three years of high school I thought that my life was set . A teacher told me that the friends I have now weren’t gonna be with me when I graduate and I was ready to prove her wrong but boy … smh . Two of my supposed closest friends and I had an ugly public falling out . Over complete foolery too . But what surprised me the most was the way my peers that claimed to be cool with me that suddenly distanced themselves . It was like they felt they needed an excuse to stop talking to me and they used that as a perfect opportunity . All this time I thought I was doing the right thing by making as many friends I could but I wasn’t making friends really . Just opening myself up to be vulnerable and give people access that they don’t deserve . I felt like crap . To the point where I wasn’t eating as much ; if you know me personally that is definitely a big deal if I’m not constantly chowing down .

But through all of that one person stayed by my side , literally . Holding me back , making sure I was ohkay , sticking up for me , the whole nine . She wasn’t even someone I used to call my ‘ best friend ‘ , we were cool and we had our jokes but the fiasco definitely brought us closer than ever .

Another one of my closest friends to date was someone that used to date an old friend of mine . She was always had a welcoming spirit . The first day I was introduced to her she was so chill and open to meeting everyone , which is new for me . I hate when you first meet your homeboy’s girlfriend and all she can do it stare everyone down or look at her phone , like laugh a little and make some conversation lol … dang . But with her she was good with getting along with everyone and we later developed a friendship of our own . She’s evolved with me and helped me through things that many others that called me their friend did not . Then you have my best friend which started out as a random friendship . I met him at my workplace =/ lol . Did not expect much from this guy and now I tell him everything and I look to him for a male perspective on things . Its awesome and such a blessing .

Looking at my life in 10 years from now I can still see myself being friends with these three people . Now I don’t wanna curse it but through the fights , drama , laughs , and cries they are still here . No friendship is perfect but the key component with these three is honesty . We are honest with each other even if it hurts . Tell me if my outfit is ugly , my choice of a guy is off , if we say something that wasn’t right , just raw honesty . We don’t envy each other , we look to help each other achieve happiness and to succeed …

All these years my mom would always encourage me to make as many friends as I can and that’s fine . But when you have like a bunch of “friends” who know your personal life , can you maintain a close relationship with all of them ? Yeah I’ll wait … You CAN’T . I tried and failed miserably . Having lots of friends or acquaintances is cool but what really matters are the close people that you can go to anything for . Quality over Quantity , always . Once I came to this realization I saw who was loyal and my business wasn’t all over the place .

I feel like I’m doing a tad bit too much rambling but please bare with moi .. getting back into this groove of mine lol (ew . ) But to sum it all up , I love everyone around me . I love God , my family , my friends , my acquaintances , my wolves in sheeps clothing , and anyone else out there . It just took me a while to appreciate it all and to be able to categorize the people in my life for who they are .