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Sunday, September 21, 2014

Cebu Coffee Shops (Part 5) FINALE

By: Ram

I spent the whole day in my room, staring at my phone and contemplating whether I should answer him or not. What if this was just a trick to make me talk to him? Or what if it wasn’t? I was torn and I didn’t know what to do. Around noon, there was a knock on my door.

“Yeah?” I called out.
“Naa’y laki nangita nimo dong,” (A guy is looking for you) our helper said.
“Whoever that is, tell him I’m still asleep.”
“Are you sure you’re asleep bai?” It was Mike. I opened the door and he entered my room. He laughed and I realized that I was still in my bed clothes; just a pair of thin boxers. I smiled and rolled my eyes at him. He sat on the bed and he had a serious look on his face. I put on a white shirt and dragged my computer chair in front of him and sat down.

“How are you?” he asked me. I just shrugged my shoulders.
“He misses you, you know. Won’t stop going on and on about you bai.” I just shook my shoulders. My phone alerted me with a text but I ignored it.
“Is that him?” Mike asked me but I shrugged my shoulders.
“Ram what the fuck is wrong with you?” I didn’t answer. I looked away from him but he made me face him.
“Do you love him?” he said. I fell silent.
“Do. You. Love. Him.”
“So much it fucking hurts bai!” I snapped at him. His eyes grew in shock.
“Then what are you doing?”
“Trying to unlove him.”
“Ram, Jon is stupid. So stupid and reckless. We’ve been best friends since we were children and I’ve seen the stupid things that he has done bai. But he always tries to redeem himself. I know Jon, and he didn’t really mean those things that he said and did that night.”
“Did he send you to tell me all of this?” I angrily asked him.
“No. I came here on my own. He even told me not to try and help him.” I nodded and felt a sense of relief.
“He told me what happened. Truth is Ram, he and Sarah were long over. He just had to do it that night because of his parents. He was pressured and he felt that Sarah knew about the two of you, or at least was starting to suspect. So he had to do it to throw her off your trail. He didn’t want to risk the love between the two of you Ram. He really loves you. It has always been you.” I just stared at Mike. I knew that all of what he said was true, even before he said it to me. But it was just hard to understand it, it was hard to accept.
“Jon’s going to kill me when he finds out that I told you.” He smiled and was shaking his head. I was just sitting there, silent and paralyzed. Mike started to stand and head to the door.
“Is it true?” I asked behind him. He looked back at me, “True? Of course it’s true. I’m telling you the truth bai.”
“Not that. I mean…” I swallowed hard, “about him leaving.” Mike’s face changed. He was silent and then smiled at me; a pained smile that answered the question.
“Talk to him,” he said and went out. I grabbed my phone and read the message, it was from Jon. He said, “I’ll miss you.” And it was enough to bring the tears. I wanted to reply to him but my hands were shaking. I tried calling him and when he answered, I found no voice to speak, “Ram? Hello? Ram? Are you there?” I hung up. A couple of minutes later, he messaged me, “Ram, can we talk? Please I badly need to talk to you. I’ll be waiting for you tonight in IT, we’ll have dinner at Irie. I don’t care how long it will take you to go there or whether you’re going or not but I will wait for you.” I didn’t reply.

At 8pm, I drove to IT park and parked my car far enough to be concealed from the restaurant but near enough to have a clear view of it. I saw him, sitting by the window table, waiting for me. My phone rang but I ignored it. Then I received a message from him, “I’m here. I’ll be waiting.” Still, I didn’t reply. I was just in my car, staring at him. The waiter kept on going to his table, probably to ask for his order, but he kept on turning him down. Once in a while, he would text me, “Where are you?”, “If you’re not coming, please tell me.” His face looked tired and it hurt to see him like that but I could not bring myself to go out of the car and meet him. Inside, I was still hurting.

This went on for an hour until the manager, I think, went to his table and was talking to him. He was probably asked to leave because up to that point, he only had a glass of water on his table and no order. He went out but sat on the curbside and still waited, “I’m still here.” He texted me. I drove away.

I felt bad leaving him like that. I was stupid and I didn’t know what I was doing. I was still hurting and I am a proud guy. I didn’t want to see him suffer but I wanted to make him feel the hurt that I felt, immature, I know. At around midnight, I received a text from him, “You didn’t show up, I understand. I deserve that. But I will be there tomorrow. Hopefully you’ll show up. I don’t have much time anymore. I love you. So much.” And again, I cried.

Next night, I drove there earlier and dressed up, just in case I had the courage to show my face. When I parked my car at the same spot, he was not yet there so I waited for a while. After a couple of minutes, I saw his car pull up by the restaurant and watched as he went out and entered the restaurant. He was greeted by the manager and I had a feeling that he wasn’t going to be welcomed in the place so I decided to go out and walk towards them.

“Is there a problem?” I asked behind Jon. He turned to me and his face lit up like a kid in a candy shop. He smelled good. God I missed his smell.
“There is no problem sir. Table for two?” I nodded and he escorted both of us to our table. He took our orders and left us alone.

“It’s good to see you bai.” Jon said. My feelings were bubbling inside and I honestly didn’t know what to do. I kept on avoiding his eyes because I can’t stand them; every time I see them, it feels like the first time all over again. I just smiled at him and kept on avoiding his gaze.
“I’m sorry.” He said and I couldn’t help it. A tear escaped from my eye and his smile broke into a frown. “I really am sorry Ram. You can punch me, shout at me, hurt me in whatever way you want. Just please forgive me.” His face was pleading. I felt sincerity in his voice and I couldn’t help it but smile at him.
“I’ve forgiven you long ago bai. But once you break something, no matter how hard you try to fix it, it’s already broken.”
“I understand.” His face softened.
“But I love you. I love you so much Jon. I’m broken, it’s a given fact even long before. But I like the way you break me.” His face changed, his aura changed; he broke into a smile, a genuine smile, and I couldn’t help but smile at him too. I found his hands under the table and held them; he squeezed mine in return.
“I want to kiss you.” He said and I smiled at him. Our order came and we talked over dinner. We had a lot of catching up to do and that’s exactly what we did. We were laughing and smiling like nothing happened. It felt good. He felt good. That moment felt good. It was perfect. We ordered dessert and our talk continued. When the dishes have been cleared and the bill has been paid, we walked around IT park and talked some more.

“About what you texted me bai…” I said.
“I know I said I wanted to talk to you about it but, can we reserve that for some other time? I want this night to go as beautifully as it started. Please?” I nodded at him and he kissed me on the forehead.
“Someone might see us,” I said but he only laughed.
“Then come on, let’s go back to my house,” he took my hand and dragged me to his car. When we arrived there, he led me straight to his room. He took 2 bottles of beer and we drank it on his floor. It was after twelve midnight and we were talking in hushed voices.

“Which reminds me,” he said and stood up. He went to turn up his speakers and played an acoustic song I didn’t recognize it but it was beautiful. He stood in front of me and held out his hand, “I didn’t have the chance to dance with you that night. So, will you give me the honor of having this dance?” he asked me and I took his hand and we danced in the darkness of his room. Having him wrapped in my arms felt so good, I never wanted to let go ever again, I told myself. I was wrapped up in his warmth and I could feel our whole being stitching up together. In that solitary darkness, we were one. Our bodies moved as one, our souls were in sync and the universe stopped for a while to give this paramour a secret only the two of us knew how to whisper. It was like a ritual, our dance, as our lips started to dance on their own and our hands started to rule our bodies. It progressed into a holy ceremony as both of us clawed on each other’s clothes and planted kisses on the surfaces of our skins. Our danced continued as we whispered I love you to each other with every movement of our bodies. We were two entities; making up for lost time as we continued our rhythmic dance in the veil of shadows that hid us from the world. The moon has been a witness to our love, even from the start and that night, she became a part of our promises.

I woke up to his smell ruling my nose. His chest was heaving and his arms were wrapped around me. I looked at his face and he planted a kiss on my forehead.
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
We stayed like that for an hour or two before he sighed deeply and said, “I need to talk to you.” There it was. I should’ve prepared myself for this. I knew all along that nothing lasts forever and I tried to prepare myself for the goodbye that was eventually going to happen between the two of us. But no amount of preparation can ever prepare us for when that moment comes. We both sat up and faced each other.
“I love you,” he said. He took both of my hands and held them.
“I love you too,” our lips met.

“Ram, bai, I love you so much,” his voice broke and I kissed him again, “but I’m leaving bai. We’re leaving.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re going to live in Australia bai.” And in a single moment, my whole world collapsed on top of me. I felt the room getting smaller and smaller. The air grew tighter and I could feel my body going numb.
“When will you be back?” I asked, suppressing the tears.
“I don’t know.”
“But what about school? What about your life here? What about us? What about me?” I began crying and my chest was heaving. He came closer and hugged me. I held him tighter; I didn’t want to lose him a second time around.
After I have calmed down I asked, “When?”
“Two weeks from now.”
“TWO WEEKS? We only have two weeks left?” This is so unfair. I cursed at everything. I cursed at myself for the time I wasted bitching around. I cursed at the universe for all of this. I cried even harder and I held him close even more. I began telling him that I love him again and again, like a broken record. My crying got to a point where I had a hard time breathing and he kissed me to stop it. We began kissing each other and tried to make our last moment count and last forever.

The last two weeks passed by like a blur but we made sure that we saw each other and spent time with one another every day. Not a day went by without us saying I love you and making memories that would last a lifetime. He stopped going to school to prepare for his departure and I would skip classes to spend time with him but he reprimanded me for that, so we only saw each other before class, during my long breaks (and even the short breaks that I had) and after class. I never stopped hugging him and kissing him and saying I love you to him. The night before his departure, we spent the night on his balcony, under the stars.

---

“I can’t believe that this is goodbye.” I told him as he waited for his flight. We were at the airport restaurant and his family were already in the waiting area. At this point, all the care in the world was gone and he held my hand on the table. I looked at him and made sure that I take in all of the small details about him. I made sure that I had his face, his smile, his hair, his eyes, his smell, his voice, his laugh, his scar, his skin, his whole being, tattooed in my heart, in my mind and in my soul. I didn’t dare blink because I was afraid of missing a single moment with him.
“I love you so much. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before,” he said, squeezing my hand.
“I love you so much it hurts.” I replied, “I am lost for words Jon. I don’t know what to say anymore bai.”
“Then don’t say anything. I love you and nothing can change that. I love you. I will always love you. I love everything about you.” He said. I smiled at him and I knew that he saw that it was a sad smile. He brushed a tear that fell from my eye.
“Long distance relationship never works. No matter how much the two parties love each other, it never does. People will say that it does but it doesn’t.” I said and he gently nodded.
“So this is the end of the road for us?” He said and a small cry escaped my voice. He reached over to hug me and I let myself get wrapped up in his arms.
“It would be easier if we don’t talk; if we cut connections from one another.” I said, in between breaths and his chest was heaving and he began to shed tears of his own. He nodded.
“I love you.”
“I love you.” We fell silent for a while.
“In another lifetime maybe?” he said and I nodded at him.
“Timing is such a bitch.” I whispered and he smiled.
“I hope that you know that wherever life takes me, whatever life gives me, whoever life sends me, you will always be special to be Ram. I will always love you. You may think that it’s impossible but it’s not. You will always be with me,” he said as he held my hand.
“You will always be the one for me Jon. Let’s not hope for this to be goodbye. We’ll see each other again. I swear. I commit myself to you.” I told him. We can do nothing else but smile at each other. Time stretched on and if I could, I would pause life at that exact moment where we belonged in each other’s arms and live in that moment until the day I die. But we don’t always get what we want and goodbyes always exist.

It was time for him to go. We hugged and I didn’t want to let him go. I wanted to be selfish and keep him for myself. We both went to the comfort room and shared our final kiss there. We hugged some more and we exchanged our goodbyes and a lot of I love yous were being said, like a mantra. The moment our hands parted, the moment he started walking away, I knew that my life will never be the same ever again. I watched his back disappear in the crowd. He looked back once, and it was my last memory of him.

It was the end of the road for Jon and I. I cried, a lot and up until now, I don’t think I am over him. But just last week, as I shed a tear over him, as I was stalking him in facebook and in instagram, he messaged me in facebook. I didn’t know what to feel, I didn’t know what to do. What he told me, I will keep it to myself for now and if I replied to him or not, that is for me to know. All that I will say is this; I love him and I know that he loves me. We both know that we belong to each other and maybe timing is such a bitch but we know that under the same stars, Jon and I, we are possible. Things are possible. I love him. And I will never get tired of saying that. I love him. Even if we’ve moved on in life. I love him. I love him. I love him.

253 comments:

Yeah, but I think the author and Jon make things complicated, they didn't make any solution for it. Sorry for my comment even though I know that I'm not in the right place to say it. But guys I think there is something missing in the story. I don't know what that is and I can't explain what I am referring to. Anyway author everything will be alright like Mike? said

LDR can work. Hope that your paths will cross someday. I have been waiting for this finale and I am heartbroken with the story. Familiar kaayo nako ang inyong mga locations Bai. OZ is just a flght away. You can visit him there or he can be home in Cebu for holidays.

I know that we're supposed to try bai but we didn't, we wanted to end it as soon as possible so that we'd have more time to try and recover. But lol time's a bitch and recovering from each other seems like impossible-author

I think I am one of the first of many to comment on this story.Grabe akong hilak sa imong story Bai. Not to sound snobbish, I am a fan of this site but I find it hard to read inTagalog though I am fluent speaker of the national language. Taas man gud kaayo ang Tagalog words as compared to English. Hope that I will find the time and confidence to share my LDR story.

correction....even though I speak the national language fluently lisod gihapon ibasa para nako ang Tagalog (my friends are Tagalogs though). I am an OFW in a long distance relationship. I am not saying that you should try it because it does not work for everybody. It is not smooth sailing but we are making it work.

Whatever your decision will be,go for it Bai and if that decision will make you happy so be it.I'll support you.Dugay pod ko nag pa abot ani bai sige kog refresh sa site hehe.Looking forward for your eternal happiness Bai..Update mi ha?Heheh

maryosep.... my heart bled... and yes, i was right, all that skirmishes with Sarah was just part of the plan to divert the attention. not to put the relationship at risk. my questions is, why the need to migrate? it's a common question with not so uncommon answers for Pinoy families.

Bai Ram,As i've said before, you have to pursue writing gyud bai. Your play of words is so full of emotions and sincerity that your readers smile and cries with you as you tell your story. Found myself having mixed emotions and reacting loudly haha affected kaayo. I really hope that you'll have your Jon back in your life...soon. Don't stop to communicate with him, use any means to make the distance between you shorter. Australia's not too far and you'll see each other again for sure! Come on! A love like yours is so true and hard to find, it's very much worth fighting for.I can actually relate as i'm also in a secret relationship with my partner of more than 2 years. You won't suspect anything when you see us in public but just like you and Jon we're the sweetest when we're in our room. ;-)Anyways, thanks again for sharing your story. Ikaw ra nakapa comment nako dre, 3 times pa gyud haha.Goodluck with you and Jon. Let us know when you get back together again. And let him read your story here, would love to read his comment. :-)

I'll use ram when i order my coffee para mulingi ka hahaha. Hmmmm i think it would be good if he reads this kay he will be happy to know that you're trying to move on with life while still treasuring your memories. It will inspire him to do the same. :)-lance

Bai, you two are such brave souls gyud. Few people do manage to do those things both of you did and I salute you both for that gyud bai. Ana gyud na ang life, all good things must come to an end. Kahibaw ko bai lisud pero makaya rana nimo, ninyo. From what I have seen and read, this is the best story gyud. As in. Proud ko nga taga Cebu ko tungod nimo kay you write as if you were an English literature major. I hope in some other circumstance, we could become friends in real life.

I'm so inspired grabeh. I've never experienced that kind of love ever in my years of existence. I think I'm gonna have a hard time studying after reading your story(Not in a bad way though) hahaha. I hope we get the chance to meet or whatever hahaha.

Fuuuuuuuuudge! I cried a lot of tears because of your story (really!). REALLY THE BEST STORY EVER! I'll never forget this because it is amazingly touching and heartfelt (again lol). I'll miss Ram and Jon :( Ram, thank you sooooooooo much for sharing your heartbreaking love story to us, it deeply marked a place in my mind. Call me crazy, but this is absolutely the best. I'll save this as a bookmark so whenever I want to read this again, I can easily access it. Thanks again, Ram! God bless you and more power! #YourSong

heeeebi ka naman Ram Haba ng hair. I kinda feel u loved the pain? lol or you needed it to learn things d hard way? I just love how Jon redeemed himself. I believe bai your love story with Jon is not over.

I should like to say for an LDR's myth to work, treat it as if it's not a barrier. By believing that it is a hindrance, it's like surrendering n killing all strong reasons for your love to work out. And I don't think that is fair to both of you. T_T... It's hard but it definetly does not deserve to be brushed off just like that?

OA ra q, kung mka react? as if wala mo na communicate, na i see that u r. Biologically speaking mn gud sa, as much as we feed our emotional hollows, we also do the same to our physiological needs, like the hugs n d kisses that u did... STILL it should be like how you position yourselves, change your perspective towards it. It's not just about your love for him, and his love for you. It's all about your LOVE FOR EACH OTHER per se.

Tsssk.. grabeha jud ani bai bah.. i have not made my research article coz of this.. my minds lingers in this story.. tungod sa sa ka sad sa story, I'm out of lexicons para sa akong article.. hehehe... hoping for the best for the two of u..

this will be the topic in our office tomorrow. maski amo mga girl na officemates are really looking forward sa part five:)u have a very wonderful love story. it touched us and inspired the rest of km readers. please dont let the love die down. reconnect with him. find ways. because this migth not happen in the next life as what jon hope it would be. basi karun jud dapat mahitabo. i am wishing happiness for u both:)

u always put hahah or smile icon in ur comments, and it kinda gives me a picture of ur personality. haha (smileys and hahas, yeah kinda do that too) :)nyways, im glad u already replied to his message (did u?)whatever updates u may have with jon, can u still write in here, pleeaase??:Di might not be frequenting KM soon but i will visit the blog from time to time just to check if u have posted an update on ur love story. or ingna nalng ko beh if naa. hahah (demanding!)

kudos to the author, its a brave and bold decision you two have made. for when you hold on to something intangible the uncertainties are much more likely to get the best of your relationship. you may not have ended up as what you want it to be but for the better part, you have found a friend that would be of high regard towards your whole life. for everything happens for a reason- as sooner as we deal with the reality of pain, the sooner we can recover and opens us up for far greater opportunities.

Ang bigat sa dibdib,,, i feel ur pain, really!!! It feels like i was the one in ur situation! I just hope & pray that someday ur paths croos again to continue the love u've shared to us, i wish the both of u all the best!

love your story Ram. nindot kaayo. i cried honestly to your love story with Jon. I can feel your hurt and your pain. maybe destiny will find a way to bring your paths together again. you inspired me with your story. just don't forget to love and don't lose hope. love will find a way.

My 5th comment diri nga site Bai, and its all because of you! Even though klaro na kaaiu Bai ba unsai ending sa story ninyo ni Jon, but I was wishing jud a happy ending ay (positive lang! Haha) but nevertheless it made me really cry! Na pagod akong niluto oi tungod concentrate kai ko ga basa. Wish you both all the best Bai!

I raise my glass to this author who not only mesmerized us by his story and his play on words, but also took time to read our comments and make a reply. You are sooo engaging and it reached to a point that we have found a 'barkada' in you. Bitaw oie, you have and will always have choices in this lifetime. I think most of us here would tell you to open your communication lines to Jon and pursue the kind of love you guys deserve. Pero if you feel of not doing it as of the moment, I totally respect it. It's your love story, not ours. We are only here to remind you of the benefits and the consequences in sticking to that choice.

thanks bai! and I also feel like I've made friends out of all of you and it feels so great! and yes bai, you guys have given me a lot of insights and it actually helped. thanks a lot again! :)-author/barkada haha

A really good story indeed. I'm planning on pursuing medicine too, and i hope i can find my own "jon" as well while i'm trying to reach my dream of becoming a physician someday. It's tragic for the both of you but i still believe that if your love is true, it will find a way. I hope that is not really your goodbye to jon ram. I will sincerely wish for happiness for the both of you, take care. :)

Ka nindot ra sag imo story bai. Pero sad kaayo. Kalisod sa imong part. I hope you and Jon would meet again. Time is surely a bitch. No question to that shit. Take good care of yourself bay. God Bless Ram :)

SHIT! this is a certified heart-breaker!! im also from cebu bai. discreet, RN by profession and pursuing medschool now. hehehe. i can feel you bai. i was the miserable, downtrodden person that i once were. years and years of reading stories from this site haven't really gotten me to actually post a comment. but, yours was different. i felt that i really have to. im just dumbfounded and superbly impressed with your story, Ram. this is like the only story that makes me want to check this site every single day for updates. hehehe. anyway, im looking forward to meeting you personally. i hope you can spare some time. heheh.

Well, everyone has already said what's supposed to be said about your story but I still want to post a comment to make you feel guilty for making us cry! When I was reading the last part of this finale, I felt like I wanted to appear in front of you to hug you tight and make you feel that I also feel the sadness. It was definitely the time you needed a friend. Ram, salamat kaayo sa imong story. Hangtud karon nag-sige lang gihapon ko'g hilak. Ikaw may sala ani. Pa-autograph 'sa ko bai para dili na ko muhilak ba. �� ~Xian-Xian

I can relate so much to your story but this time I am the Jon of his life. I have a secret relationship with this guy and our love for each other is immeasurable. I am deeply in love with him. But soon, I will be heading for Australia and staying there indefinitely. I don't want to leave him but I need to, a classic example of having the right love at the wrong time. We feel like we're just waiting for our time bomb to explode. The bomb that will shatter our love and push us far apart. Fuck, I can't help but cry while writing this shit. We both agreed that LDR won't work for us either. Now I don't know what to do, what to think and what to feel. I wanted to talk this out with somebody who can relate and will understand but I don't have anyone who knows my gender. I guess my life is just screwed :( -- cj

A part of me wants us to just continue waiting until the right time comes but doing that makes me feel so guilty. I don't want to deprive him of finding someone else better who will be there with him for good. Who can take care of him and give him the best time of his life. It sucks and it hurts. :(Hope I can talk to you in a more personal platform- cj

Hi Ram,Beautiful story and beautifully written. I knew the ending isn't the way I expected nor wanted it to be, but I respect your decision if you believe it's best for you both. LDR is hard, Ram, and it's not for everyone. But it's worth a try and worth the fight, especially that you're fighting for the love of your life.A love like that doesn't come everyday, so don't let go.:)

P.S. I'm not gay. I stumbled upon this site coz my gay friend shared your story and I was just so impressed with the way you wrote it. Keep writing! :)

Ram, my apologies for not posting this sooner. I was busy this weekend and I only realized that I failed to read this installment (and apparently AND UNFORTUNATELY the last one--how dare you) this morning. I failed you as a loyal patron :'(

Moving on. I have so much to say about this entire emotional rollercoaster ride. You have probably read this so many times from my / other readers' previous comments but you have totally captured us with your fantastic storytelling without running around in circles. You totally nailed the mids and extremes of kilig, excitement, frustration, and heartache even if your verbosity wasn't too descriptive (maybe your words were, but i barely noticed. The flow was totally natural and i loved it.) And fuck, you made me cry soooo many times that this time around, i had to leave my desk and storm to our office restrooms to compose myself. I was a sobbing mess (well not really--oh wait maybe i was, i had to explain to my colleagues i just read a sad fanfic because they knew im an avid fanfic reader). I aint a literary savvy guy but to me, everything was on point: writing, grammar, flow, realism-- even engagement--literally and figuratively! Hahaha! Id like to believe that this is the first time a greater collective of the more intelligent readers of KM come together in one story.

What's more interesting is that even if we are not pre-empted that this is based on a true story, just one reading of your narrative and we'd know instantly it is, indeed, one. And you even get to actively interact with us readers on the comments which we all find really charming and sweet (you now have fans hahahaahha and u can count me in this fanbase hahahaah)! You made this story not only interesting and anticipating, but also extremely relatable and engaging. ultimately, we saw how genuinely you wrote this piece like what an emotional person would tell to his bestfriend during sleepovers--with class, that is hahah! A total breath of fresh air from everything pornographic in this site.

To be honest, this story deserves to be published in a site with a more diverse, safe-for-work demo as well.

All in all, I want to congratulate you for making us all hooked to this love story. I am not sure if youre gonna write more stuff here but if you do, let us know. And how i would love to meet you in person. Itll prolly take me a while to reach Cebu but if i do make it even for just a short vacay, ill make sure to hit u up for a quick cup of coffee. Or maybe something else (like a quick tour in the city? Hahahaha wishful thinking.) Again, thank you Ram for this wonderful experience.

I remember you bai! and as usual, you always say the right words and it makes me feel better and it's like I've done the right thing! wow, I don't think I deserve all your praises bai - I'm just a humbled storyteller honored to share our story :)I really like talking to you guys, it makes me feel better and wow I'm shy man sad with the "fans" oy hahaI'm not sure if I can write pa bai, no more experiences that can be shared man gud but maybe in the future when things fall into place :) and honestly, I'd love to meet you too (because you have been so supportive and it touches me to the core haha do hit me up and I'll be your local tour guide (I'll try my best to be the best Cebuano guide tho haha) thanks a lot gyud bai! :)-author

Bai,new comment nako ni diri.Hehe.Idol taka kaayo Bai tungod sa ka nindot sa imong love story.Dili nako ma explain akong self pero everytime mahuna hunaan nako inyong story it inspires me a lot and it makes me smile while I am working.Of all stories nako na nabasa diri if I am not mistaken sa imong story ra jud ko nakacomment because it is very a unique.Istory.I always imagine on how you look like or maybe someday if ma assign ko sa Cebu again for audit engagements I would really want to meet you and mag pa autograph sa imo Hehe.Medyo sad lang ko kay final story na jud and wala nakoy masundan na story and other mode of communication.I am originally from Davao but working in Manila Bai.I wish you all the luck in the world.May God bless you a thousandfold for all your sacrifices. :)

I love the way you delivered your story. I don't know what to react but I found myself crying, yeah inside of the bus, I don't care people staring at me or what they thinks of me. Right listening of "I'm not the only one(sam smith) if you familiar to that song well, Godbless! Love you

Kinda hard to believe all the drama that went down to 2 guys but nevertheless it still made me feel all ~kilig~ inside haha and I'm not Cebuano, but I think "Bai" is such a cute term of endearment. I love how you told your story, it was artistic but it never strayed too far away from realism esp in the conversations.

Gahulat gyud ko ani nga update, excited kaayo ko. Abi nimo Ram medyo galagot ko gamay sa imong pag-inarte! I can relate to your story kay it happened to me in a different way...i hope nga one day you'll end up together..l can sense that both of you love each other! Both of you may be apart now but who knows sa umaabot, di ba? Just be positive and constant communication helps. I admire your honesty and your last moment with him sa Cebu before he left, you're not holding back! It seems like your emotions explode! Your story despite of the decision to be apart has made me smile! Kudos to you! Yoh are a birlliant writer, you have the talent for it. Write more! Thanks for sharing this wonderful, wonderful love stoty!

Hi Ram. I have been following this post since it started few weeks back kay I thought it would be a nice read kay taga Cebu ra man sad ko. Easy to relate especially the plot. Ram, I know for some reason you are skeptical about believing LDR and mind you, I have the same feeling about 5 years ago.

Then I have to commit myself for someone I know for just a little time because of the same reason you have for Jon and we are still together now. Yes Ram, I am currently in a Long Distance Relationship and it's really hard to believe that we still are. It won't be that smooth-sailing but Ram, it's worth it.

Always remember, regrets happen not for the things you failed to do but for the things you can do but failed to consider doing. Ram, I know it would be hard for you but just give it a shot. Love transcends beyond any physical border and I can feel yours are genuine.

I hope to hear a sequel with stories of trials and triumphs. Indeed, this is the best story ever written because it's heartfelt and sincere. Ram ha? Try lang gud ninyo. I love you both. :)

I am well-aware that I don't perfectly know what you've gone through and are still going through but, I'm sorry, I just had to say this:

What you two had (have) is really, really beautiful.. something that you don't see everyday in this shitty (pardon the language) world, more so, in the world where you, Jon, I, and all other individuals who are brave enough to explore the whole continuum of sexuality chose to live in. It is special. Rare. Must be treasured. Something that we must always be willing to fight for.

I honestly don't know how scary and difficult it could get but hey, isn't it worth the try? After all, a life of "Oh, wells" will always be much be better than a life of "What ifs."

Ram, this is the only series I followed.Aside from taga-Cebu ko, I am a Starbucks barista pa gyud. Na-promote ang starbucks, SALAMAT. Nindot kaayo ang story. I love how you played with the words. While reading, I wasn't just picturing out the scenario, I was feeling the hurt, the love, the happiness and all the emotions in the story. You're the best. Hope to meet you soon in one of Starbucks stores here. Basta Ram then pre-med, alam na this! Haha :)

goodness man, napaiyak mo ko, loved the pain and beauty of this story, oh love, why oh why, I love to give you a hug bro, wishing you all the best in your studies and buhay pag-ibig (allow me to dedicate this song to you ~ So Close by Jon Mclaughlin).

You know Bai? It will take 2 weeks for me to move on with your story. You're such a great writer. Really shit! . I really hate sad ending, but we have no choice but to continue life!. Just keep moving Forward Ram! I know you can do it, and maybe someday, your worlds will cross again. I will keep your story as another inspiration and thank you for making me believe that there's really existing true love in this kind of relationship. I love you author!

Bai, this such a nice story to read over and over again. I'm sorry if it didn't end up you together bai. But you know, you are still young and has a lot of things to experience and this is just one of it. Someday, makakita ra ka ug perfect person na you will end up with and malaybmo si Jon diay to. Just don't keep your doors closed to any possibilities. Goodluck sa studies bai.

Wow this is my first to comment on a story here but man you really had my heart broken to a hundred pieces. :-| i just hope destiny have a better plan for the both of you otherwise I'm gonna hunt destiny down for you haha wish you luck :-)

Is it just me or my comments aren't really getting through? Hahaha. Hi Ram, twas such a nice story, though I am no fan of sites like this, your story is an exception. I would always check every Sunday if there is a new update on your story, and sadly, this would be the last one.

I'm also a VCMT alumnus btw, just passed the boards. Happy to know that you still remain to believe in love despite all you have gone through. Your story is an inspiration to others. How's micro bai? Is it as dreadful as CC? Hahaha. Somehow, we may have met in the campus na siguro, I can only surmise.

Anyway, is Jon taking up something related to aviation in "Australia"? Hahahah.

I hope murag sa song nga After All by Peter Cetera inyung love story!! :) I have been waiting for this story update like forever haha! But, thank you for sharing your story bai Ram. This is very inspirational and hopeful. .God, I hope you will always strive to be happy :)

So inspiring ram :) I don't believe in long distance relationships as well. Whether it works or not, that's up to us, because it's subjective :) I hope you find what you're looking for in life. And I hope to read more stories from you, whether those are fiction or non-fiction. I just like your writing style, and thanks for using English. I'm not really knowledgeable about our own dialect hehehe. Take care :D

I was searching for some new coffee shops around the metro when I bumped into this. Shiizz bai, your story caught me. I cried because it reminds me so much of my experience like 6 years ago. Raintree mall, coffee shops, getting drunk impulsively, all sound too familiar, been there, done that... :( I know how tough it is, but I know you will be okay soon. The pain will always be there, but you'll get used to it... If time's a bitch, that bitch is all you need to get back on track and realize that the world is after all a place where love is limitless. Just open your heat and embrace the beauty of love itself.. It'll knock at your door without you knowing...haha. Cheers bai! Good read!

Bai, time's not always a bitch. We have never ending tomorrows and who knows?

I had my fair share of LDR a long time ago and it didn't work for me. I would understand your decision to stop communicating but bai, if you miss him, say it. If you love him, say it as much as you can. Life is important but it's more important to live it without regrets you know.

Stay as friends like you've said LDRs don't work. But communicate jod bai kay we don't have the luxury of time and you may find yourself when you're old thinking of "should haves" hihiPareha ra gud to nga wala ka mocommunicate niya ka you're hurting pa and then when you decided to, naa nalang kay two weeks. :(

And for the last time nakahilak ko haha.. Your talent is just awesome. You're a good story teller bai.

ps. you have to feel the pain until it fades away. you have to miss him until you miss him no more.

hey bro, listen.....you can and will move on, but you will never forget him.....been there, done that.....bai, i know right now it sucks, hurts big time, but it's true what they say, time heals everything.....good thing you guys had the chance to spend time together and said i love you to each other over and over and over, that to me is priceless (good thing your pride did not get the better of you)....there are moments in life na gusto mong balik balikan, and this is one of those times.....me and my friend (my ex) had similar fate.....ako yung nag-overseas, but after so many years, for some reason, we found each other, of all places, sa youtube lol, he uploaded something, i saw it and sent him a message, cut to the chase, we started texting, emailing and even became skype buddies, unfortunately, i think nagtampo siya when i told him that i can only offer him friendship now, mahirap na, ayaw kong makagulo sa married life niya....but i know and i feel that we will be friends forever.....bai, stay strong, consider yourself lucky, nagmahal ka and minahal ka......look forward to whatever comes your way, whether it's with him or someone else.....sounds cheesy and cliche..... if it's meant to be, it is..... :) - lbl

Kudos to you ram!!! Well i was never hooked like this to read such a great story, reading the last part of the story my heart felt the pain, i do hope that you and jon will have that time again, and then maybe another story will unfold, a story that we will be looking forward to read :) stay positive!!!

About Me

WARNING: This is an R-rated site containing male to male intimacies. Please leave the site if you found these kind of materials offensive.

An inspiration from the original KK (Kwentong Kalibugan) site which has been deleted for some years now. I wish to relive the site's experience in which the readership not only enjoyed the stories but also contributes their own ones as well. No relation/affiliation whatsoever to the original website nor the moderator/administrator

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