Saturday, October 1, 2016

Been awhile leaving this portal.
Trapped in the real world, somehow it feels so good yet enough to make you
swearing all the time. Well, hello again to you.

Stepping on the first day of
October and still trying to find the rhythm to at least survive in this bloody
semester –have I described this semester as desperate as it seems? Well, if
it’s not, then it’s good, but if it is, I will no longer speaking about it,
let’s spread the good vibe only.

Thinking about what September be
like to me, making me want to sit in front of the laptop and type just what I
feel and after stealing one to three hours of sleep in the morning and stealing
another hour to write this post –now, I’m considering myself as a time robber
on weekend. Well, here we go.

The thing about September is I
have to go back to the reality –which is a life of senior student in the
university, even there are a lot more seniors from the previous year. Welcoming
SOME final projects with some groups. Reviewing some journals. Reading
unfinished books. Up all night for reviewing movies. And the thing in
organizations that haven’t finished, yet. Thank God, I have friends and a good
playlist to through it all.

But this post ain’t about how I
(try to) survive it all, it’s about some things I notice in organization I
joined, or the groups I’m in. Well, I just realized that it’s easier for people
to say that they hate each other than saying they actually love each other. And
it’s easier for them to act like they love each other while they actually hate
each other. Such as hypocrite, I know sometimes that’s just how we are.

I do really have a "thing" with komorebi.

a Japanese word for the sunshine filtering through the leaves of a tree (or trees).

And lately I know that “I love
you” got the same power as “I hate you”. They’re both are destructive, yet
could be a trigger for some people to keep going. Now I know why my mom ever
said to me not to love people so much or hate people so much because the line
between those two things is too thin and slippery. Somehow, we’ll have no idea
on which side we’re going to end up on.

Speaking about the three words,
is it the “I Love You” or the “I Hate You”, that I mentioned before like they
are powerful enough to get you down or to rise you up. Well, I’m thinking about
another powerful three words that we (actually) need all the time, when we
interact to another people.

It’s a Thank you, a Please, and
a Sorry. Well, this is actually a
value that our kindergarten teachers always taught us back then. But as we grow
up, and the selfish thoughts become bigger and bigger that we have no idea
about it, and the monster under our bed that we use to be scared of move inside
ourselves, we easily forgot those magical words.

I try to notice this three words
that people actually can use when they asked for something, when they got
something or when they made a mistake. But sometimes it disappoint me –well I don’t
have the right to feel this at all, or just quiet sad for the society, how this
precious value can be forgotten.

Some people is born with a “bossy
mode” built in their bodies, while some other are unconsciously bossy. It’s not
about which side is better than other, it’s about appreciation, and furthermore
we never know when we ask people to help us or to do something, our words may
hurt them in the way we never understand, or cause an answer of “okay” with a
smile that never touch the eyes. I don’t know whether a please would help or not but at least it’ll help you to ease the
gap, to appreciate them and to make them feel needed.

For some things, I believe that
people don’t have to know what we’re doing, they shouldn’t know it, or they
must not know it. For some things, it’s better to keep it within ourselves. But
we never have the power to read other people’s mind, sometimes we don’t know
what they want but we think we do. That’s why we need to at least say thank you if we cannot give something
to appreciate someone’s effort after we asked them to do something.

And I know, the action speak
louder than words. That somehow people forget how powerful a word also. I saw
too many situations when someone made a mistake and to ask for forgiveness,
he/she did something that he/she think it’s enough to pay what he/she did
without saying a sorry. Well, that’s
good. But back to the first point when I talk about how we know a little about
some people’s mind. Sometimes, sorry is not the same as a response to some people,
and we ask for forgiveness not just response. A word could have a thousand
meaning, like a sorry that may have
a meaning of we mean every act we did to ask for someone’s forgiveness.

The weather on this Saturday is
being nice. I think I’m going to go out. Happy weekend. Monday is still far
enough for you to have your me-time, your family time, and your laundry time.