Hard truth time -- most Japanese people aren't homogeneous and some don't really like anime or video-games and or the things that a lot of people are on this board really like about "Japanese culture". So, truthfully I'd go into this with a grain of salt and, just like any other date, see what genuine interests you really have in common and if the relationships have a shot at working -- language barrier nonwithstanding.

Some of the posts in here are really cringeworthy to be honest. Maybe Japanese people have a stick up their ass about their culture because apparently dating advice from a select group ResetERA consists of 1) typical MRA pickup artist bullshit about dominating them with your language barrier or some other stupid shit and 2) an assumption that apparently we all walk around thinking about our superior culture compared to filthy gaijin or something. I guess this is kind of recursive, but I can definitely tell you 100 percent that I DO feel superior to anybody tossing out that kind of advice though. Maybe treat people like human beings and then you might actually make long lasting connections.

Because you lived in Japan, you feel your sweeping generalizations against a whole country are legitimized? All the while, you are talking about how some aspects their culture is inferior while criticizing them of doing the same against others.

Seems like you are the type of guy SolidChamp was talking about and it hit a nerve

User requested ban

This forum has continued to be awful and disappointing in its ability to not be insulting towards certain races. Why the high tolerance of sexism and racism?

Why is it okay for users to make racial jokes and tell people to show their dick or hentai to an Asian women? Why all the Japan specific fetish and sexual jokes in a thread that was meant to be serious? Why do mods care more about tone policing than making this site comfortable for all cultures and genders? Pointing out sexism and racism in the replies is thread whining? Read that thread and ask yourselves why women hate this forum and why anyone Japanese would ever want to post here.

Hard truth time -- most Japanese people aren't homogeneous and some don't really like anime or video-games and or the things that a lot of people are on this board really like about "Japanese culture". So, truthfully I'd go into this with a grain of salt and, just like any other date, see what genuine interests you really have in common and if the relationships have a shot at working -- language barrier nonwithstanding.

Some of the posts in here are really cringeworthy to be honest. Maybe Japanese people have a stick up their ass about their culture because apparently dating advice from a select group ResetERA consists of 1) typical MRA pickup artist bullshit about dominating them with your language barrier or some other stupid shit and 2) an assumption that apparently we all walk around thinking about our superior culture compared to filthy gaijin or something. I guess this is kind of recursive, but I can definitely tell you 100 percent that I DO feel superior to anybody tossing out that kind of advice though. Maybe treat people like human beings and then you might actually make long lasting connections.

Because you lived in Japan, you feel your sweeping generalizations against a whole country are legitimized? All the while, you are talking about how some aspects their culture is inferior while criticizing them of doing the same against others.

Seems like you are the type of guy SolidChamp was talking about and it hit a nerve

Yes, 11 continuous years living in Japan as a poc damn right legitimizes my opinion over someone who just comes here for vacation or has Japanese friends online.(I'm not saying you are that type of person)

Not once did I say anyone was inferior. However, when you live anywhere this long you can see the dark under belly. When concerning mental health Japan is ass backwards.

This forum has continued to be awful and disappointing in its ability to not be insulting towards Asians. Why the high tolerance of sexism and racism?

Why is it okay for users to make racial jokes and tell people to show their dick or hentai to an Asian women? Why all the Japan specific fetish and sexual jokes in a thread that was meant to be serious? Why do mods care more about tone policing than making this site comfortable for all cultures and genders? Pointing out sexism and racism in the replies is thread whining? Read that thread and ask yourselves why women hate this forum and why anyone Japanese would ever want to post here.

My advice isn't about how to score with Japanese chicks. It's about being a good person and not using your language as a wedge in a relationship to keep your waifu subservient to you. Good relationships are built on mutual trust and respect. It's no wonder that resentment will build up if you come into thinking that some Japanese girl is gonna thought police her way to getting wise of your barbaric culture and eventually dump you. Even more so if you're trying to play some game where you decide you don't want to to the bare minimum to retain a cross cultural relationship -- i.e. having the decency to express yourself in the language so that you can communicate effectively with them. You're not giving her a fair shot -- and so eventually you'll be dumped. This applies to anybody regardless of culture, actually -- pull the same shit on anybody with 1/2 a brain and you'll be hitting the curb really fast.

My advice isn't about how to score with Japanese chicks. It's about being a good person and not using your language as a wedge in a relationship to keep your waifu subservient to you. Good relationships are built on mutual trust and respect. It's no wonder that resentment will build up if you come into thinking that some Japanese girl is gonna thought police her way to getting wise of your barbaric culture and eventually dump you. Even more so if you're trying to play some game where you decide you don't want to to the bare minimum to retain a cross cultural relationship -- i.e. having the decency to express yourself in the language so that you can communicate effectively with them. You're not giving her a fair shot -- and so eventually you'll be dumped. This applies to anybody regardless of culture, actually -- pull the same shit on anybody with 1/2 a brain and you'll be hitting the curb really fast.

For the OPs level, I'll agree. Gonna want to be using English. For the long term, nah. While it's true there's an uncomfortable bump where you're a hassle to talk to, you're still in a much better position socially once you've crossed it and can communicate easily and effectively. Also going to disagree with talking keigo. Teineigo is fine.

Right, of course I'm not talking about speaking like a sales clerk at 7-11. I'm referring to what you are calling 'teinei-go.' More specifically, ending your verbs with -masu and use desu. Foreigners tend to step over that hurdle wayyy too early and it puts people at unease. I'll edit it to make sure the OP knows what I mean.

friend of mine moved to Japan with fairly minor experience in the language and she's been dating a guy she met there for over a year. the language barrier is an issue on occasion but they help each other and they're both happy despite the troubles

You can make it work if you both commit to learning each other’s language. You’ll eventually speak to each other in a weird Frankenstein mishmash of both languages. Some of my colleagues and I do this too.

User requested account closure

Why would you want to share a pic of her? That alone makes things super weird. Pull yourself back from that cloud of yours and have a normal date first. Stop with the "what about in the future" thinking. You are currently just talking to a person online, not your wife.