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treat your trick right

by Tom Kennedyfrom Gloss Magazine October 2003

Sex in this city sure has changed. Until a few years ago, I could still count the times I had to battle the temptation to fuck without condoms. These days, there’s so much temptation to just stick it in that it’s noteworthy when the urge doesn’t strike.

Through the ‘80s and early ‘90s, we banished temptation before our clothes came off, well before the passion took over. Hooking up usually involved a make-it-or-break-it moment of committing to keep the sex safe. That era has passed.

Body language between the sheets has changed as well; guys now spit into their hands when they used to reach for lube. Butts would clench nervously until the condoms went on. There are other clues: condoms are kept farther from the bed now (if they’re there at all) and often the lube isn’t latex-friendly.

And it used to be taboo to openly challenge someone’s wish to use condoms. Earlier this year, an HIV negative guy tried to shame me into fucking him raw, saying, “You need to relax. Live a little.” After fucking raw, I’m far from relaxed, worrying about life with HIV.

Obviously, there’s good reason for why we’ve relaxed around sex now: life with HIV is much less scary -- at least in this country. But a downside is clearly emerging: just look at the disturbing rise in syphilis, rectal gonorrhea and HIV rates. I worry that we’re becoming dangerously casual about issues of sexual health.

There’s probably no magic bullet to reverse this trend but here’s a starting point: treat your trick right. Treating your trick right can mean many things: Respecting his wish to use condoms - or not use them (and if you can’t agree, skip anal sex). Or by getting screened for STDs like they did in the 70’s, regularly and without shame. Or always having condoms with matching lube at hand - even if you prefer barebacking, because you’ll probably be hot for someone who won’t do it any other way.

If you party, treating your trick right means not letting them get too fucked up, mix drugs foolishly, miss their HIV meds or get too dehydrated/malnourished during playtime. Click here to check out our tips for party boys.

Most importantly, treating your trick right means showing him that he’s in good hands. Then, hopefully, he’ll really relax with you.