Attracting a Partner - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

Attracting a Partner. Evolutionary Psychology Dr. Kelley Kline FSU-PC. Attracting mates:. Just because you find a mate who is desirable (has resources, etc.) doesn’t mean you will attract this mate.

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Buss argues these tactics work because they exploit psychological mechanisms that predispose people of the opposite sex to be sensitive to certain valuable qualities in potential mates (resources, appearance).

E.g., a female who tells a male she’s interested in that a rival female is promiscuous will hurt the rivals chances of a relationship with the male, if the male values fidelity & chasteness. If he doesn’t value these qualities, this may back-fire, especially if he is interested in short term mating.

Men also may deceive women about their level of resources by lying or providing misleading information about their careers.

2. Men also derogate their rivals’ resources. To do this, men may spread rumors about the rival, put-down the rivals’ accomplishments, poke fun at rivals’ appearance, & implying rival may have a STD (this is very negative to women).

Men also will tell women rivals are poor, have no money, lack ambition, and drive inexpensive cars (Buss, 2003).

Women find men who dress well to be very attractive for both short & long term mating, as expensive clothing suggests the presence of resources & future earning potential.

One study had the same males dressed in a Burger King uniform, a polo-type shirt or dress shirt with a designer tie, a navy blazer, and a Rolex watch.

Women viewing photos showed they weren’t willing to date, have sex with, or marry men in the low status clothing, but would consider all the above with men in expensive clothing. Guess clothes do make the man!!!

Men who display willingness to commit are likely to attract mates. This can be done by showing acts of kindness, love, and devotion.

Buss argues that as these are difficult to fake, because they require displays of genuine emotion repeatedly over time, it would be costly for males to engage in this behavior unless they are seeking long term mates.

Men interested in casual sex aren’t willing to waste their time displaying commitment. Thus, the reliability of commitment, is an effective strategy for women to determine if men are interested in a long term relationship.

Some men exploit the tactic of displaying commitment for long term relationships to attract women for short term mating.

Tooke & Camire found that men will act more polite than they really are, appear to be more considerate than they really are, and seem more vulnerable than they actually are to deceptively attract women for short term mating.

In other words, men say & do what women want to hear for casual liaisons. However, “time wounds all heals,” men will quickly lose interest if nothing occurs.