971. Society: What people do. Culture: Why people do what they do. As women go, so goes society, as long as wives don’t abrogate domination of home and culture. Men have always dominated workplace and society. [318]

972. His love is based on respect for her, and lack of her self-respect sours her likeability, which makes him less loyal to her, which lessens his love. [318]

973. A woman without self-respect to reinforce her self-love can capture but can’t hold a man. [318]

974. Some men tear down their woman’s self-respect. As she permits it, he becomes more dominant and less respectful of her, which reduces the foundation of his love, i.e., respect for her. [318]

975. Perception is reality. Whatever appears to be, is. You’ll be judged not on what you do, but on what people convince themselves that you are and do. [318]

One response to “Blog 2316 — Compatibility Axioms #971-980”

How does a man feel when, after a long time of his wife being “self-sufficient” and “capable” to solve her own matters, she begins to be more accepting of his help and guidance. She is well educated and financially equal. Does he feel growing warmth towards her, or resentment that she has not always trusted in his judgement? Better to have never been so self-sufficient in the first place? Or does he feel a sense of achievement that he has finally “won” her trust?

For a man, is marrying a woman who he recognises does not need him, included in the definition of “marrying over his head”? Or do men only consider “punching above their weight” with regard to physical beauty?

For context, her character is passive and not eager to argue or over rule him. However she does have a habit of getting the job done in a matter of fact way. He would not consider her to be dominant over him but may notice that she seldom asks for his help.

Curious!

Your Highness Josephine.Thornley12,

Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

If wife has been married about 20 years or husband’s approaching or in early 50s, other natural pressures could be entering the explanations below, which describe the male nature more than the husband.

“How does a man feel when, after a long time of his wife being “self-sufficient” and “capable” to solve her own matters, she begins to be more accepting of his help and guidance?”

It surprises and men don’t like surprises from their mate. He ponders not what’s wrong with her but what did he perhaps do wrongly. Finding nothing to blame himself, he considers what may be going wrong with her. Sick? Cancer? (You may want to get examined, as a person personality or behavior can change when they have it.)

“Does he feel growing warmth towards her, or resentment that she has not always trusted in his judgment?”

Probably neither. Greater dependence on his judgment with no blame attaching to him works as a compliment, unless he’s fearful of being set up for a surprise.

“Better to have never been so self-sufficient in the first place?”

Not if the marriage has been successful for years. What worked last year, as you see by wife’s change, may work but it may not work the same.

“Or does he feel a sense of achievement that he has finally “won” her trust?”

You make it sound like he has been trying for years to win her trust. After many years of marriage with trust being obviously okay, I would not think so.
Change too suddenly and suspicions arise. Very slow and a non-interruptive change, he could see that he’s won. However, without the sense that she trusts him, he would not respect her enough to have stayed around all those years. So, no, winning her trust is not an accomplishment for him but that shouldn’t stop him from agreeably accepting her greater dependence as just another duty for him as husband.

“For a man, is marrying a woman who he recognizes does not need him, included in the definition of “marrying over his head”?

Yes, but he doesn’t think about it; he’s already subsumed into his decision making equation her needs as easy for him to provide. (He’s always quite enough for his woman until she convinces him otherwise.) Before marriage he thinks about how he can’t live without her. That devotion enables his wife to make a better man of him, which is the meaning of ‘he married over his head’. Provided, of course, that she doesn’t do things that make him believe he CAN do without her.

“Or do men only consider “punching above their weight” with regard to physical beauty?”

It may shock women, but physical beauty does not hold a man’s devotion. It’s who and what she is TO HIM that earns his devotion. Physical attractiveness is the eye catching first thing and something that should be maintained up to his standard, but it’s nowhere near being the glue of mutual attraction.

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Wives lose husbands, but it can be prevented. Bachelorettes lose boyfriends, but it can be foreseen. Mates lose likeability, but it can be reversed. So what if the pool of good men appears half empty? By learning the true nature of men AND WOMEN, the pool appears at least half full and much more appealing to female determination and flexible to feminine influence.