Sharing our lives as a complex family

A Gardener’s Musings

This is the 13th year that I have gardened, I suppose that makes me a gardener. One might think that 13 years into the game I would have my yearly gardening all planned out and dialed in. One would be entirely incorrect.

For the 13th year in a row now, I am winging it.

I keep no data about past performance or yields, (or anything else for that matter). Sometimes I buy seeds and start them in the greenhouse my husband built me. Sometimes I buy plants (I always feel like I am cheating when I do that, but it never stops me). Every year it’s a whole new experience. I work hard, savoring the experience and the results, it’s a wholehearted endeavor. It’s also somewhat of a surprise each year to see just how it all works out, which is nearly half the fun.

For me it’s not about maximizing productivity or optimizing the system. It’s more about playing in the dirt, getting nature to provide me with treats, and enjoying some fresh air and a sense of accomplishment as a bonus.

If you want a snapshot of me, this is it.

I am a hard working, whole hearted person who goes through life, day in and flying by the seat of my pants.

I’ve tried to shore up my inconsistencies and become more deliberate, and with maturity that has happened to a certain extent, but I have come to terms with the fact that I will never be an organized, detail oriented, put together person. In today’s society that doesn’t jive. Effectiveness and consistency are key. It’s ingrained in our culture that we should be driven for success and appearances are important. But some days, (most days if I am honest), I just don’t give a hoot about all that.

It’s not that I’m lazy (well, maybe just a little bit), it’s that I cannot and do not thrive in a competitive environment. I accomplish things because they’re worthwhile, not because of deadlines. I fumble and bumble, but I do it with gusto. I work in whirlwinds or bursts of productivity followed by farting around and frolicking, nearly all of it on a whim, unplanned and unstructured.

It’s been uncomfortable being a parallelogram peg squeezed into round holes most of my life.

I’m working on wiggling out of that round hole. Rather than repeatedly squashing my nature and attempting to appear round like everyone else, I am striving to be the best parallelogram I can be.

I got out to my garden today, getting it ready for spring. I had a lovely time peeping at my asparagus spears just emerging from the ground. They made me smile as did the anticipation of the surprise this year’s planting will bring.