How and When to Start “The Talk” Twitter Chat Summary

The following is an excerpt from a live Twitter chat that took place on March 21, 2013 at 12:00 p.m. To those who participated, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Due to the extensive number of comments received, this blog entry captures comments relating to: How and When to Start “The Talk.”

We look forward to “chatting” again on May 1 (12 p.m.), when we will be taking a fresh look at ways our kids can help out around the house. Be sure to join us on www.twubs.com, (hashtag) #parentingtweens.

And now…The Twitter Chat:

realmofoya
At Strbuck with friends, want to know how much details you give a 10 year old about sex?

FactsOfLifeBook
– As much as he or she wants to know.
– It’s never too early to start the reproduction talk. They’ll tell you when they’ve had “enough.”
– Did you know that 83% of kids are afraid to ask their parents about reproduction?

dr_m_green
– Are Tweens ready for talk about sexual activity? (Beyond reproductive info?)
– For a very sensitive child, are there any special approaches you’d recommend for The Talk?

FactsOfLifeBook
For the sensitive child, ask about what he/she may have heard. Share what u wondered about…

realmofoya
Does my kid care about my values regarding sex? Should I share?

FactsOfLifeBook
Any time is a good time to “impose” our values on our kids.

SharaDarden
My 10 yr old talks about having a crush on cartoon characters… should I be concerned?

FactsOfLifeBook
Crushes are normal. Do we remember ours, even with a non-realistic character?

realmofoya
Yeah, it’s like having a crush on a celebrity. It’s a fantasy.

FactsOfLifeBook
– Or how about those tv characters that seem – well – perfect? Kids relate to it all. We do too.
– Those tv shows/characters are another teachable moment. What is “real” in life vs. tv.
– Check out my blog on First Crushes and what these kids said about theirs…

realmofoya
Jean asks: my son hides under the covers whenever we try to talk about sex. What should I do?

SharaDarden
Do you think most of “the talk” with boys should come from dad?

FactsOfLifeBook
– It should come from whomever is most comfortable & whoever gets the questions/comments 1st!
– Both parents can be involved, unless one is extremely uncomfortable. Many moms feel it is dad’s job.

realmofoya
What about asking an adult male family member to have the talk with your kid?

FactsOfLifeBook
– That always works well. May be more comfortable for same-sex discussions.
– I would encourage moms to find a way to broach at least some of the topics with their sons.

dr_m_green
We used the American Girl book–it helped SO MUCH!

FactsOfLifeBook
Amer Girl is great! Pre-cursor to the reproduction talks later. Stay tuned for my girl book on that!

dr_m_green
We read together and apart, then had great conversations about the book (the Care & Keeping of You)

FactsOfLifeBook
– Reading together, reading then talking, it all works, depending on comfort level of kid & parent.
– It’s all about feeling comfortable about it, and allowing them to feel comfortable too.

realmofoya
Penny asks: how soon will ur girl’s book be available?

FactsOfLifeBook
Maybe in a few months! People are asking for it! Suggestions on necessary content r appreciated.

realmofoya
Penny asks: will ur girl’s book be written for the parent or child or both?

FactsOfLifeBook
– Written for the child similar to the boy’s book. Really, written for both-to start conversations.
– These books r great for parents to read 1st. Then give to child as opener to these discussions.
– All the facts they need to know & just the facts — in a funny, light-hearted way. Just the basics.
– It’s good to start the talks before the kids have it in school.
– The books have great interactive elements that encourage conversation between parent & child.

FactsOfLifeBook
For girls book – do u all want content on social aspects, friends, “the drama”?

realmofoya
Penny would like info on all of the above.

FactsOfLifeBook
Kids are getting older faster in today’s world! Stay a few steps ahead of them!

dr_m_green
Yay! I’ll be buying your book for girls!

SharaDarden
This is all great advice. Thank you! Will you post a summary/transcript?

FactsOfLifeBook
Yes, will post a summary. Thank you. Was this helpful? Suggestions for next time?