2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

5 Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!! (not sure I believe this one)

6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber with react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible forcausing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won't leave streaks and won't harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible forcausing bad breath.

Man, all these times I carried a cucumber with me to business meetings and never knew what to do with it!

1. The average cucumber is at least six inches long. 2. Cucumbers stay hard for a week. 3. A cucumber won't tell you size don't count. 4. Cucumbers don't get TOO excited. 5. A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety. 6. Cucumbers are easy to pick up. 7. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket... and you know how firm it is before you take it home. 8. Cucumbers can get away any weekend. 9. With a cucumber you can get a single room and ... you won't have to check in as 'Mrs. Cucumber'. 10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning. 11. If you can go to the movie with a cucumber and see the movie at a drive in you can stay in the front seat. 12. A cucumber can always wait until you get home. 13. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn. 14. A cucumber won't drag you out to a John Wayne Film Festival. 15. A cucumber won't ask: 'Am I first?' 16. Cucumbers don't care whether you're a virgin. 17. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin. 18. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin. 19. With cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more than once. 20. Cucumbers won't write your name and number on men's room wall. 21. Cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups. 22. Cucumbers won't ask: 'Am I the best', 'How was it?' 'Did you come?', 'How many times?' 23. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist, ski instructor or hair dresser. 24. Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one. 25. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator. 26. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over. 27. No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh cucumber. 28. You can dish a cucumber up for dinner to your Brother-in law & Sister, after making love to it. 29. Cucumbers can handle rejection. 30. A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache. 31. A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is. 32. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet. 33. A cucumber won't give it up for lent. 34. With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry. 35. Cucumbers won't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow. 36. A cucumber will never give you a hickey. 37. Cucumbers can stay up ALL night and you won't have to sleep in the wet spot. 38. A cucumber won't work your crossword in ink. 39. A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat. 40. Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car. 41. A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink all your liquor. 42. A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library. 43. Cucumbers won't go through your medicine chest. 44. A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on or hairspray. 45. Cucumbers won't leave dirty shorts on the floor. 46. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet. 47. A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you're in the shower. 48. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it. 49. Cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold. 50. Cucumbers won't tell you they liked you better with long hair. 51. A cucumber will never leave you for another man, another woman or another cucumber. 52. You will always know where your cucumber has been. 53. A cucumber never has to call 'the wife'. 54. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them. 55. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle. 56. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it. 57. You don't have to wait for halftime to talk to your cucumber. 58. A cucumber won't leave town on New Years Eve. 59. Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom. 60. Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers. 61. It's easy to drop a cucumber. 62. A cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement or seek custody of anything