My question is not so much WHAT they are doing, but WHY!!! Would THEY take that cake home? I remember walking by the bakery in the grocery store and being amazed at all the beautiful cakes...sometimes my amazement is now something totally different, as you well point out. :-)

I too thought the gum was bacon at first- cupcakes for hipsters riding the bacon band wagon. But upon closer inspection, is it just me or does the cinnamon gum/blueberry frosting look like it's on top of chocolate cupcakes? How many flavors can you get in one "treat"? Scuze me while I barf now...

My first thought on the blueberry cupcakes was bacon (no...it can't be...), then my second thought were those fat pretzel sticks (oh come on...why would they put pretzels on cupcakes?). I was forced to zoom in on the image and gazed in silent wonder at GUM on cupcakes. Gum!! I just don't get the whole cupcake decor thing at all. My kids love it when they get toys and rings on cupcakes, and I shudder when I see them cheerfully sucking the frosting off their plastic toys so they can play with or wear them.

This post and the one from yesterday just go to prove something: just because you can hold a pastry bag and own an airbrush does not mean you have any clue as to what a good cake looks like or how to make one. There are some decorators out there that should just be slapped.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who thought the gum was bacon, heh. I am also glad I wasn't drinking my milk as I waited for the page to load. I've learned my lesson there!I'm thinkin' that these cakes were done as therapy in a mental hospital. Or maybe I'm just hoping that they were....

When I first glanced at the second pic, I thought the trident strips were pieces of bacon. In which case it would not be a wreck, it would be an awesome. Alas, after my eyes focused I saw they were trident strips. So yeah: wreck.

Imagine, if you will, a shelf full of creepy clowns... all riding different poo animals... racing towards a finish line that never seems to materialize...and you realize that you have entered the Twilight Bakery Zone.

Cupcakes, gum, soda, and popcorn are available at our concession stand...enjoy the race!!

One pill makes you largerAnd one pill makes you smallAnd the ones that mother gives youDon't do anything at allGo ask AliceWhen she's ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbitsAnd you know you're going to fallTell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillarHas given you the callCall AliceWhen she was just small

When men on the chessboardGet up and tell you where to goAnd you've just had some kind of mushroomAnd your mind is moving slowGo ask AliceI think she'll know

When logic and proportionHave fallen sloppy deadAnd the White Knight is talking backwardsAnd the Red Queen's "off with her head!"Remember what the dormouse said;"Keep YOUR HEAD_______________Keep your head"

So when I was in college, a friend of mine and I started to use the word "cake" instead of "clueless" (long story, I'll share it with you some other time if you're interested) as in, "I'm totally cake about what that professor wanted for that assignment." It stuck, and my husband & I still use it to this day.

Now, today, it takes on a whole new meaning and gravity. I am totally cake about these cakes.

The 'clown' cake - a bad dream I once had when I mixed illegal pharmaceuticals with Red Bull and baked beans.

The 'gum' cake - bacon would have been an improvement . . .

And to think I was shaking my head in amazement at the wreck at my Wal-Mart last week (didn't have my camera - pout) that was a CCC shaped and painted to look like a fire hydrant. That was high art compared to these.

Cakewrecks - the only thing that can wring a smile out of me these days, thank you Jen and all the wreckers out there!

Ok, I think I may understand the concepts:The clown riding the pooh Yorkie and the blue cupcakes with gum on them are either some sort of private joke or symbols of an unknown holiday [like festivus] that are going to break out any time.The third picture is a poorly rendered popcorn--perhaps some sort of movie cake? Which may be better or worse than those 'Twilight' cakes you posted earlier...perhaps they ran out of black and red frosting.

I think it's time we all would have better understood *actual* bacon on the cupcakes. It'd be like an art project then.

As for what gum flavor does go with blueberry frosting (not cinnamon) - I vote for BlueBerry gum (Lotte). That has always been one of my favorite. Though I don't like frosting and would just go for the gum.

I think I figured out the gum topped blueberry cupcakes. I may be going out on a limb here, but my brain aches for some sort of logic. They were supposed to be ocean themed cupcakes. Perhaps someone ordered them wanting tridents on them for their Under the Sea party. So naturally...our dear ol Grocery Store Wreckerator put Trident on them...oh 2 pieces since it did say Tridents!

I want to know who is buying these cakes. I want names, numbers, and sizes for the straighjackets. Seriously, blueberry icing? (look at the research...blueberries are GOOD for you.) And a two-fer dessert for the after dinner gum. (cinnamon? really?)And what pray tell happens to the dog when it gets the psycho clown to the finish line?

The thing that particularly horrifies me about that first cake is that not only does it feature a legless clown jockey on a poop dog, but the poop dog appears to be racing in what I can only hope is supposed to be a mud puddle.

I can just picture the back story of the blue cupcakes. How many bets they were supposed to have multi-coloured gum balls placed on top? How many bets they ran out of gum balls in their supplies? I'm picturing the baker asking the supervisor what do do because they'd run out of gum balls, only to be told "We're in a grocery store... go find something". Picking up sprinkles from the cake aisle would mean thinking... so the baker went to the candy aisle and picked up the only gum they have in a grocery store... a multi-pack of Trident LOL

did anyone notice there's no price on that one? how can we be sure that really is a cake? what if they just put the plastic cover on it to "contain" the mess. i like the theory that's a specimen of the movie theater floor....

the crazy, puffy, half clown riding the poo-dog with silly string reins. to a "fiwish" line. is it some sort of special olympics circus? with only one competitor? with poo issues? and why is the "cake" on the floor? (thanks for pointing that out...i didn't notice the carpet at first.)

reminds me of "Better Off Dead" when Lane's mother's food was always slightly alive. the iridiescent goop with raisins crawled off his plate....maybe they expect the same of this "dog" clown hybrid thing...

*insert emphatic whinning, likened to that of a two year old, here* "No, no! Cake Wrecks! You have it *all wrong*! The first picture is a melting clown aboard an over-fed centipede, the middle one is blueberry topped with, *yes*, bacon strips -adorable and marketable, huh?!-, and the last is a hoplessly distorted styrofoam cup surrounded by molding hard boiled egg yokes that could've used refrigeration...like...decades ago." So see? It's all about perspective!!! :) Three cheers for cakes are so gross the decorative interpretations are endless; forget about wondering about the *actual cake* inside. Yeah. Good stuff. Hee hee.

Essentially, Peeps are marshmallow blobs formed into chick shapes (or bunnies) then dusted with fine colored sugar in various colors. Google "Peeps" and look at some of the images. Jen even did a Peep wedding cake some time back. They are a solid hit of Easter time sugar for little kids.

For Anonymous not in the US: Peeps are brightly colored, usually pink or yellow, sugar coated marshmallows shaped like baby chickens (the baby chickens are called peeps). Rabbits or bunnies are also available... these are seasonal items for Easter. I think they are digusting, but not any worse than that cake. At first look, after I gagged, I thought it was a soda cup with popcorn..BUT WHY????? would there be a cake decorated like THAT?

Ahhh... "What are Peeps?" someone queried...ANSWER: What AREN'T Peeps? They are impossible to explain..they are ethereal beings from Indestructibleland...enduring,everlasting..incorruptible...The thing fairy tales are woven from...but we can't tell you; you simply MUST procure some, at any cost, and experience them for yourself. ((SIGH))Now, to the Anon who made a reference to men's figure skating: I find some of the costumes simply heavenly--my favorite skater is Johnny Weir. He is SO AWESOME!!! Totally HIMSELF. Beautiful!Finally-- mystery solved, guys: the foam cup was not *supposed* to be there!I KNOW, because when I walked by that cake in the store, I had just finished drinking the soda, and couldn't find a trash recepticle handy... ("Ahhhhh, so THAT was it!" you all exclaim.) >^u.u^<

I get headaches while reading this blog from laughing so hard, while trying to silence my laughter, so that my husband doesn't think I have lost my mind! The commentary is priceless. You are BRILLIANT!

I love the comments in here today, but I have to suggest that if one were to drop acid, look at any of these cakes, and then do anything related to Alice in Wonderland, one might never be able to find the way home again. :D

Somebody somewhere just lost a bet. I'm pretty sure the bet was "I can make a cake more inexplicable than you can." As such, the winner is now laughing hysterically while posting a video of the loser doing something very unbaker-like such as actually eating the poo dog clown combo. (or the blueberry trident cupcakes) I'm pretty sure the soda one is radioactive.

At least I hope these are the result of a really bad bet compounded with large quantities of alochol, (or whatever).

FYI, Trident does in fact have a blueberry flavored gum (Wild Blueberry Twist) which I'm thinking is what is on the cupcakes. That said, it still is not an excuse to put gum on a cupcake. Eww. Bacon would almost be better.

I also am wondering what the poo-hound clown duo is racing or running from. Maybe attack of the moldy popcorn/soda poo platter?

My four year old and I have been looking at all the "professional" cakes here and he's coming up with some great ideas about these cakes. The clown riding the giant dog across the finish line is for "'Clown Day' celebrated only by people in the circus, because that's the only place you can see a dog that big"

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.