Monday Maul: Elephants Kill King Juan Carlos of Spain

Vin Paneccasio

SOMEWHERE IN BOTSWANA, IN THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE — King Juan Carlos of Spain, who was stomped to death by vengeful elephants in Botswana today, should have realized that the bogus and insulting apology he offered after his previous elephant-hunting trip fell on rather large, deaf and angry ears.

“I’m very sorry, I made a mistake. It won’t happen again,” the bloodthirsty king had been quoted by the BBC News as saying.

Little did he know that a couple of very pissed-off elephants were waiting for their chance to guarantee as much.

“When I heard that the bastard was coming back to Botswana, I jumped at the chance to add his geriatric carcass to the karmic balance,” an elated elephant told The Daily Maul.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, a spokesman from the World Wildlife Fund told The Daily Maul, “For us, the king’s brutal death simply means that we won’t have to convince him to step down as the honorary president of WWF-Spain.”

Following King Juan Carlos’ last elephant-hunting trip, WWF-Spain’s secretary general sent a letter to the Royal Palace “(requesting) a meeting with the royal authorities to share widespread public concerns and public calls for His Majesty to step down as Honorary President of WWF-Spain.”

Another elephant who participated in the king’s execution told The Daily Maul, “That bastard’s septuagenarian skeleton has long been destined for the karmic balance. Have you seen the sickening photographs the Daily Mailpublished of that royal savage posing with his murder victims during previous African killing sprees?”

Adding delicious insult to fatal injury, the elephants who stomped King Juan Carlos to death had their prideful photographs taken with the lifeless king, who looked more like an unsightly throw rug than a deceased monarch.

The Monday Maul cartoon was created for The Daily Maul by New York-based artist Vin Paneccasio.