Thursday, 4 July 2013

25 Things to Do When You're Bored

So, in a bout of frustration you have stumbled across this
article, questing for something to put an end to your boredom. And fortunately
for you, you have come to the right place. Peruse this treasure-trove of ideas,
and pick an activity that sounds appealing. You’ll be having fun in no time!

Disclaimer: I, in no way, accept any responsibility for any
arrests, injuries, or deaths resulting from the following suggestions. But on
the bright side, going to jail/the hospital/the afterlife will at least get you
out of the house!

1. Watch the Jerry Springer show, screaming obscenities at the
tv like the redneck you are.

2. Give your guinea pig a haircut. If you don’t have a guinea
pig, sit down, cry out of loneliness, then get your ass up and find yourself a
guinea pig. Proceed to cut the hair of said guinea pig.

3. Teach yourself the Cyrillic alphabet, and then write a poem
expressing your love of language in perfect Ukrainian.

4. Listen to every One Direction song ever made - without
contemplating killing yourself. If a suicidal thought enters your mind, start
over.

5. Become a hard-core Canucks fan. Make posters and dye your
hair blue and green. Follow every tweet,
interview, and article. And watch every single game until they win the Stanley
Cup Playoffs. *Life-time commitment required.

6. Go to the best ice-cream place in town, and try every
single flavour.

7. Develop an extensive workout routine to drop the pounds you
gained while stuffing your face with ice-cream.

8. Go to Wal-Mart, and ask an employee if their walls are for
sale. If they say no, accuse them of false advertising, question their
integrity, and storm out in a huff.

9. Skydive – make a search on Google Earth, and zoom in really
fast. Eh, that’s close enough.

10. Master the art of sword-swallowing.

11. Acquire a sheep. Shave that sheep. Spin that sheep’s wool
into yarn. Knit a kickass afghan, then feel bad and give it to your naked,
shivering sheep. You jerk.

12. Set a timer, and don’t think about turtles for 5 minutes. If
you think about them, start over. (This one is probably impossible).

13. Use peanuts and birdseed to lure all the squirrels in the
neighbourhood into your backyard. Become the Squirrel Master, leading your new
followers to world domination.

14. Narrate everything going on around you - in a Scottish
accent.

15. Go through the McDonalds drive thru. Order 8 Big Macs, 10
large fries, 60 chicken nuggets, a few milkshakes, and a Diet Coke (because you
still haven’t lost all your ice-cream weight). “Forget” your wallet.

16. Have a conversation without using the letter ‘S’. Time how
long you can go.

17. Move everything in your house 2 inches to the left, just
for shits and giggles. Realize you have a crippling fear of change, and proceed
to burn the house down.

18. Turn everything you say into a hypothetical question. “What
if I could turn everything I say into a hypothetical question?” “What if this
becomes incredibly annoying?”

19. Create clothing from your curtains, Cinderella-style. What,
you don’t have little bird and mice friends who can sing and sew? Better get
training.

21. Examine your belly button for lint, and find something that
looks like it could be food. Make a decision.

22. Disprove the theory of gravity by jumping off the roof (of
your neighbour’s house, because you burned yours down). Physics is for suckers.

23. Watch an animals' rights video on YouTube. Never eat meat
again.

24. Think of every poor decision you have ever made - every
stupid thing you have ever done – all at once. Cry.

25. Drink an entire pot of coffee, with half a cup of sugar. While
bouncing off the walls (that disappointingly, Wal-Mart didn't sell you), see what ideas you can come up with on your own.

So there you have it – 25 things to do when you’re bored. If
you liked this article, please share it on Twitter, Facebook, etc. Heck, you
obviously have nothing better to do, and think of all the other bored people
who will benefit!