Saturday, February 6, 2010

Magic glasses

Dear _____________,

While I was talking to you today, my heart hurt for you. You told me about all the things that were troubling you. You were scared and worried and overwhelmed. Despite your past experience of having lived through plenty of other hard situations, you doubted that you would come through this one.

It wasn't just one thing weighing you down, it was a series of misfortunes, as if Life had conspired to dump trouble upon trouble all at once in your life. All my reassurances fell on deaf ears. You weren't able to accept the viewpoint I was offering: hope, empathy and comfort. Things won't always be this way, I told you. But anxiety and worry drowned out my words to you.

You probably still can't accept it, but I wish that I could give you a glimpse of what I see in you. I wish there were magic glasses that I could let you borrow that would allow you to see yourself as I see you. I know your story, tales of resilience and overcoming impossible odds. Negativity has clouded your remembering, but I know the truth: you've made it through some pretty tough times, and you've done it with grace and dignity. You're stronger now that you used to be and yet you still listen to that doubting voice inside you that tells you that you're not good enough and that you deserve what is happening in your life.

If you could put on these magic glasses and see in you what I see in you, your self-doubt would evaporate like the morning vapors as the sun begins to warm the earth. I'm not being overly positive here, I've seen you handle adversity. There is a part of you that is capable of making those tough decisions and dealing with the outcome. There is a part of you that rises to each challenge. I won't pretend that it has always been easy, but the fact is that you are here and that you are surrounded by the evidence of your triumph thus far. So I wonder how you were duped into believing that what you are facing now is insurmountable.

With magic glasses, your self-confidence would be restored. Not an arrogance, just a surety that you are capable and resilient. I think these magic glasses would help you to see not just yourself as you really are, but it would help you keep the right things in perspective. You see, those voices that crowd you and try to shout you down are there for a reason. They serve a purpose; to help you and protect you from being hurt. But they've taken on more than their appointed role. They're trying to make your decisions for you, trying to force you to act out of your worry and anxiety. These glasses would help you to appreciate their input, but help you to understand that they don't have all the information.

Maybe that is why I can imagine having these glasses, these magic lenses that magnify your strength and beauty; because I don't have the voices of self-doubt to interpret what I'm seeing in life. I wonder, though, if you could imagine borrowing my glasses. Would you be able to see yourself differently? Would it make a difference in your life?

I remember the words of Winnie the Pooh to Christopher Robbin:"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”

Here is the secret; the magic that powers the glasses that allows me to see the strength in you is similar to the bond between Pooh and Christopher Robbin. It is relationship. But while theirs is a fictional story, it mirrors the reality of my relationship with you. I know that you have that strength and beauty in there because that is how I made you. When I breathed the breath of life in you, I placed a piece of myself in there. It may be true that you couldn't make it.... on your own... but if you could only see the YOU I see... it contains a part of ME, so I know that it contains all it needs to overcome the world, because I've already done it for you.

3 comments:

Very good Jeff. You have a unique writing talent. You completely drew me in, as I was sure it was you talking as a friend or counselor. Then I got to the end of your story! You got me!! Keep writing when you can son. I truly believe you bless people with your written and spoken words.I love you,Dad

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Son of David Howard and Deborah Denise Emery.Third of five childrenMilitary BratHusband to Amelia (Heard) EmeryYouth MinisterFather to Mary Hannah, Ethan, and Eleanor EmeryParent to two Type I diabetic childrenPhotography enthusiastMarriage and Family Therapist