What were you doing when the CBRM election results were announced? I was reading an article about assisted death and ruminating on Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). Note to self: do not contemplate serious philosophical, moral, or ethical issues while reviewing municipal election results.

The transformative experience of surviving the 2016 CBRM election may have left us all one step closer to daft’s door. I provide excerpts from my personal healing journal in support of the 48% of CBRM’s electorate whose grief may have only just begun.

Denial: No! No, no, no. Noooooooooo! This is not happening. We don’t deserve this. Wait, wait—it will get better. Are the North Sydney results in yet? It can’t happen again. No! No! Aaugh! I feel so alone. They know who I voted for. I will never work in this city again. Aaugh!

Anger: It’s a rigged election. Local media was biased. People were not informed. Why didn’t all the shunned voters vote? Where did all the stunned voters come from? It’s Rankin’s fault. No, it’s Clarke’s fault. It was the flood’s fault. Why didn’t the reign come down? It’s God’s fault; I asked her to clear the waters, not flood the voters.

Bargaining: Maybe we can convince a few of the old guard to run in the upcoming provincial election. Yes, that’s the ticket: let’s organize a few by-elections. Are there any Senate seats open? I hear there are some high- paying, executive-type Port jobs coming to CBRM. Does the municipality have dud insurance?

Depression: CBRM is screwed. There is no hope for salvation. We are all doomed. The Cape Breton Post will stop printing my letters. I will be blocked on Facebook. OMG – help me!

Acceptance: Actually, the results were not that bad. We elected a few young councilors with fresh ideas, and some of the old boys’ club were defeated. The final results were very close. With luck, this will serve as a wake-up call to Council. Maybe we can survive until 2020.

Some see Mayor Clarke’s narrow victory as a message to Council that the status quo is no longer acceptable. Others view the election results as a sharp kick to the backside of the Mayor. Unfortunately, some of Mayor Clarke’s recent comments in the CB Post and Local Xpress suggest he is more emboldened than humbled. He has also declared that he will not change his approach, even if 48% of the electorate voted for change. This is disconcerting, but I believe the new Council can be effective as long as it doesn’t buy into (or get bought by) the previous Council’s groupthink.

Until next time—that’s my two cents’ worth.

Dr. StrangeJob is a local satirical blogger, retired educator, social activist, and developer of the world’s first 12+1 step self-help group, Incompetents Anonymous.