Friday, June 22, 2007

Reds Tell Mariners They Can Shove That Up The End Of Their One Way Digestive System, 16-1

Nice result tonight, but the author can't say that it's much of a surprise. The Reds offense, when mixed with sentiment is a powerful chemical reaction. The Seattle crowd treated Junior very well, but he handled it like a man. No tears, even though Jay Buhner was in attendance and he at least looks to have some variety of debilitating disease. Everyone on the offense contributed today. Algonz started things off right putting the ball just out of the reach Raully, then the combination of David Ross [that average is now at .205, I'll be a son of a bitch], B. Phillips, and Hambone provided the power, hitting the team's five bombs. And when Narron sat Griffey in the 6th, that was a real slap in the face. He'll tell you where to stuff that childhood memory average Mariner fan. Tomorrow night, not to be left out of the festivities, the Reds have planned a pre-game celebration of Jose Guillen's career with the Reds. You thought you saw applause tonight, just you wait. The encore will offer a bludgeoning of Jarred Washburn, salad tosser extraordinaire. Anyway, can't ask for a better result than that, with the game being over by the third inning. That was truly a savage beating, even if it did come in support of the starter who should require the least offensive support. The author's pretty sure Lohse and his little goatee are ready to follow up tomorrow. Reds! Reds! Reds!

The Reds Rocket proudly documents the beauty of all which is, was, and will be Cincinnati Reds baseball. Through the use of advanced technology, information is collected and disseminated to the populace from the author's personal blimp hovering high above central Arizona.