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Friday, July 31, 2009

Ask any bro - “What’s your dream job?” Nine times out of ten I guarantee he will reply “Own a bar with my bros.” The other time he will either say male prostitute or porn star, but that’s just because he doesn’t realize you have to bang fat chicks as a male prostitute or that porn stars inject their cocks with adrenaline shots to get them hard (I mean we’ve all done it – just not on camera), but I digress. The point is bros fucking love bars, and would love to hang out in one all day long rather than sit in some shitty cube. Fortunately for bros – they can live the dream vicariously through the owners of Paddy’s Pub in Philadelphia. Bros fucking love “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.”

Honestly, if you have never seen it, you need to go fucking buy all of it on DVD. I know there’s some bro hater out there chomping at the bit to say, “Excuse me sir, but this idea was done already on Cheers.” First of all, I would like to say fuck you. I’m not talking about a fucking bar where pedophiles (Norm and Cliff) go to get up the courage to meet up with the 15 year olds they met in some chat room – I’m talking about a bro bar. Sunny is a show ahead of its time. There are only a handful of shows (#27 Eastbound and Down and #47 Entourage) where, much like bras with any show dealing with marriage or cooking, bros make plans to be together to watch the new episodes and Sunny is one of them. Bros love the fact that there is cursing on the show even though it’s not on HBO.

Bros fucking love all the characters on the show. Dennis is the ultimate bro – not only does he get fucked up all the time, but he bangs pretty much every slam piece he meets. He also tapes that shit without them knowing, which I really respect. Mac is alright. He can be annoying at times, but he is still funny as shit. He also loses a shit load of bro cred for banging that pre-op transvestite, even though it is hot as shit. Bros think Sweet Dee is actually pretty hot, so it really doesn’t matter if she is funny or not. Bros like Frank, mostly because they love seeing Danny DeVito talking about shitting everywhere and trying to bang 19 year old Asians. And then we come to the last character. Bros everywhere agree he is by far their favorite. Charlie. How do we know he is their favorite? Because every fucking bro in the country knows at least one bro who dressed up as “Green Man” last Halloween. Charlie is fucking dumb as shit, which makes bros feel better about themselves. He eats cat food, can’t read (“You think a pirate lives in there?”), and sniffs glue to get high. By the way, you know there are bros out there who have huffed glue just because Charlie does it.

So, if you have never seen this show, do yourself a favor this weekend when you wake up hungover on Sunday and buy this shit. You will not be sorry.

42 comments:

This site is the shit Ned. Keep up the good work. I have to live vicariously through this site as I can't be a bro as much as I used too. Can you do a post on bro bq's soon, I know you have mentioned them in the past posts but I think there is no better party than the brobq. I did one for alumni weekend my senior year and I worked at a steak house and stole 40 lbs of beef to hook my bros up with.

I never caught on to Always Sunny, as I just didn't find it funny. But I have peculiar taste. How I Met Your Mother is one of my favorite bro shows- they're always at the bar, and Barney is a legendary bro. Bros are the shit.

No offense to some.... Know actually take offense... Anyone who says that how I met your mother or two and a half men are the most bro shows on tv are definitely not fucking bros... Not even close... Network tv is not ready for a bro show... Go order cable bro wannabe

I agree with previous, anyone who thinks How I Met Your Mother or Two and a Half Men are for Bros are fucking GAYS. Maybe if you like cock you enjoy those shows along with gossip girl or some other homo shit.

two and a half men is whack, but sheen is def a bro. slaying cougars and mentoring young bros is not gay, its old school. that said, hank moody from californication is the king. he should get his own page on this site.

I don't give a fuck what anyone says, Barney on HIMYM is a bro king. His entire existence is defined by getting money, getting fucked up at the same bar every day, picking up slam pieces at the bar every day, and trying to get Ted to stop being such a bro-hater. Barney is a legen...wait for it..dary bro and if you say otherwise then youre a strait up bro-hater and FUCK YOU.

Charlie is such a fuckin bro that even though the waitress hates him, he fucks that semi-slam piece in real like. NPH just fucks dudes, and is indeed the anti-bro. He was funny as shit in Harold and Kumar, though.

I am a bro thru and thru. I turned on this slam piece of mine to always sunny and we watch it after having sex. This is my favorite show on TV. Granted I only watch sports, HBO, and Southpark. I think my favorite episode is the one about underage drinking because ALL bros, most bras, and even some bro-haters (the ones that are posers) have taken part in underage drinking. Can't wait for the next season.

Yo BroKing. You truely are an afluent bro, and for that I respect you. I also respect you because you drunk drive and you break shit. Legit.

I'm at Columbia right now in sig ep. A few bros and I were wondering... how should we feel about gays? Do bros mind gays? Are gays real people? Probably not. Should we throw things at them? Who knows. Maybe you do....Or should we not mind them because they make us look that much more manly?

So since it's summer, you gotta post on "Douchebag Summer Jobs"- you know things like the college age guys seriously working alcohol enforcement at the baseball stadium, fat 17-year-old lifeguards who do everything by the rulebook and of course, the one group all bros have to hate, parking enforcement 'agents'. Also, a follow up post to the Pre-gaming for sporting events must be done on sneaking alcohol into the stadium and getting wasted while it only looks like you're downing a Diet Coke!

from now on i have decided that anyone who tells NYB what to post on is not a bro, he has come on here and said it himself, he deosnt like it. if you want to read a post on that shit then come up with your own website, he doesnt care what you have to say, thatwhy hes abro-king and you are a bunch of whining little bromosexuals who live in your mother's basements and listen to coldplay. the reason you cant come up with your own website is because you aren't clever enough to think of your own shit. keep in mind NYB comes up with a new post just about every day and onec every two or 3 weeks you jackasses have an idea for some shitty post but you cant even elabourate on it further than the title. Shut the fuck up and go skydiving without a chute.

anyone who goes to an ivy league school is not a bro because they have obviously made education their priority. also, bros never ask questions about anything. real bros only give a shit about three things: drinking, fucking, and fighting. being a bro is the shit.

bro jackson,i agree that bros only give a shit about those three things, but keep in mind that bros have really fucking important rich fucking dads that get them into ivy league schools so education never needed to be a priority

Hank Moody, in my bronest opinion, is the single greatest bro leader I have come across on television. David Duchovny, seeing as he plays himself on the show, and is a sex addict married to hot ass tea leoni- is a legendary bro

Sunny is the most brochill show in existence. the D.E.N.N.I.S. system needs to be taught in school or some shit instead of this math and gaycrap thats never gonna help me in real life. brehs shouldnt have to wait until they can pledge a frat to be properly trained in the ways of slamming back brewskies and showing slam pieces whatsup.

watching right now at this very moment, and no doubt charlie is huffing glue like a fuckin champ, the show is inspirational and should win every award possible for tv, anyone who disagrees is clearly a hater and they just dont have brain.

The characters all get fucked up 24/7, have a rich dad who pays for their shit and gets them out of trouble, they own a bar, slay slampieces left and right (except charlie), break shit, chant, drink and drive, give girls degrading nicknames, set shit on fire, piss in random places, get kicked out of places, make girls cry, don't give a shit about the environment, cheat at everything, smoke, heckle losers...... they do pretty much everything listed on this site, which we all agree is pretty fucking bro.