Ready 2 Rumble Boxing

Put up your dukes and put down your money, this one rocks!

Not that many of you couldn't have guessed by my gimped out pictures on the site, but I am not exactly Aaaahnald. I'm not really in to weights, nor am I big into physical intimidation. In light of that, you wouldn't think a game like Midway's Ready 2 Rumble would be the type of title that would get me the slightest bit excited. I mean, really. What's the big deal? A bunch of grown men (and women) beating the snot out of each other isn't exactly my idea of a good time (unless of course it's on Springer..Now that's entertainment!).

So I'm sitting here, thinking of the best way to sum up exactly how I feel about R2R, and despite my stature, I guess the best way to sum it up is to say that I have always secretly enjoyed giving people a good pummeling every now and again. I'm not sure if this stems from my older brother's fascination with showing me his version of Punch Out on my weak little body at every opportunity, or if it is just because I'd never pick a fight with anyone in real life, but for some reason, a little digital dismantling has always been a good way for me to vent aggression. Maybe the ability to satiate this craving at will is what makes it stand above the crowd, but it's easily a big part of why Ready 2 Rumble is perhaps the ultimate example of everything that makes arcade-style gameplay so much fun. Though it's single player game has less depth than the kiddie pool (or the golden lake, as we old folks like to call it) at your local water park, I can't help but recommend this game. Here's why:

Firs thing's first. This game has personality like no boxer before it. Even the classic Punch Out fails to come close to the level of atmosphere this title exuberates. Be it the rail-thin, arrogant hair-a-holic Afro Thunder of the quiet, reluctant hammer fisted Salua, each of these guys will have you rolling on the floor with their antics. Early versions were funny, but nothing prepares you for the full effect of these guys whacking each other around, talking mad smack, and finally watching one boxer go into a hilarious losing animation, and the other into their catch phrase. It's just something I can't explain. You just have to see Butcher Brown say "What, you thought I was gonna lose?" for yourself to really get the full effect, but rest assured, you will find your favorite Rumble character, and then you'll really be ready to bust some ass!

And thanks to the game's slick control scheme, the beat-downs are coming hard and fast. Perhaps Ready 2 Rumble strongest feature, gameplay is speedy, simple, and incredibly addictive. Understand me, though. I'm not under the illusion that this game is by any means complex. It's most certainly a button masher, but no more so than say, Tekken, and not too many people complain about its pace or ease of use. This is a Midway arcade game, plain and simple. You basically beat the hell out of the buttons until you win. Thankfully, there are some subtle strategies, and I suppose if you really wanted to, you could get really good at actually "boxing," but for my money, I'd rather just come in with my fists of fury, because that is what makes the game fun. You can get a bit carried away with "juggling" combos at times, and if you are on the wrong end of a "rumble" power-up, you can forget staying on your feet. The game just manages to come together well on this end, and though you'll wear out more than a few controllers on this one, it is more than worth it.

As much as I hate to say this, a big part of this control scheme's success is directly tied to the game's incredible visual presentation, which features a constant 60 FPS of insanity with every crushing blow. Not only would the game's frantic pace suffer without, but you'd miss out on all the incredibly engrossing animations as well. Thankfully, the game runs like a champ, and because of it's graphical muscle (which is heightened by its limited focus), Ready 2 Rumble really draws you in. On top of that, the actually character art itself is brilliantly done, and the way the characters are skinned adds a lot to the illusion of being in the ring. Seeing a guy lose a tooth or catch a right hook for a what is sure to be on mean mother of a black eye is always funny, and seeing each character after a fight is a big part of what makes this game such a joy to play. For the first time, you can say "I really gave you a poundin'," and thanks to the detailed visuals, you can show your opponent you weren't just flapping your jaws. Very cool.

So I know what you're thinking. Great atmosphere. Great gameplay. Great visuals. So why am I not drooling of this game like I am over Soul Calibur. No, it's not a lack of jiggling breasts. Both LuLu and Tank have that covered just fine. (Ed's Note: Ready 2 Rumble Sequel idea of the day = sports bras, people!) The only thing that limits R2R's ability to stand out as the must-have ap for Dreamcast is its lack of depth. The single player game, which despite a number of cool Track-n-Field meets Parappa-esque training games, just doesn't really do it for me in terms of longevity. It is waaaay too easy, and is a bit too limited in terms of focus. It's not that it isn't amusing in the short term, but to be honest, once you've figured out how to beat it, it loses any challenge it possessed, and thus offers little reason to go back and unlock all the characters available in that mode.

Luckily, however, the multi-player mode offers one of the most addictive experiences we have ever seen. Much like my ex-girlfriend's phone number in any local bathroom stall, the potential for some serious rivalries is written all over this one. There is just nothing quite like giving your buddies a black eye and seeing it all happen right in front of you. And thanks to the game's aforementioned personality, you'll find yourself wanting to do it again and again.

And that is basically the bottom line here, folks. If you go out and get Ready 2 Rumble expecting a game that will amaze you with its depth and realism, you'll be in for a bit of a let-down. On the other hand, if you are in the mood to knock the piss out of your buddies in one of the most hilarious, addictive multi-player experiences ever to hit a console, then get off your can and pick this one up. The new undisputed heavy-weight champ of console boxing has arrived, ladies and gentleman. Get to rumblin', already!