Being Asian in the Modern World

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Caring hurts…

I’m a person who cares about my friends and family. I care to a point that I put others needs before my own and I leave myself behind. Why do I care so much for others? Because if I see a friend in need, I can’t sit idly by – I actually think I need to help them. In recent times, I’ve sat here and wondered why do I do this? I only question it, because there is only so much help you can give, and only so much advice you can give, before that person needs to help themselves. Now, it’s taken me a long time to realise this. Caring for people can sometimes hurt. What do I mean? Well….. I mean that if it’s placing obstacles in your own life, or, preventing you to care for yourself, then why are you caring so much?

I, in no way am saying that you shouldn’t care for others. What I’m saying is, don’t let caring have a negative impact, to you. It’s taken me months, sometimes years, to realise that some people in life can take advantage of my caring nature, and not only absorb my energy, but also never take steps to help themselves.

I’m not a person who asks for help often. I am the type of person who likes to deal with my problems myself. Even when I’ve hit rock bottom, I never burdened my friends and family with my issues, I’ve just tackled it myself. If I needed to get professional help, I’d get it. And, I know that not everyone can do this themselves, or admit it to themselves, and you need your friends and family to give you this kind of push to go see a professional. I’ve had to deal with loved ones having mental issues, and though it’s taken time for them to seek the actual help they need, it has placed a strain on me. This is something I just don’t think I have capacity to deal with right now – well, taking on too much that I leave myself behind.

Before any judges and thinks I’m being selfish, I’m going to say, yes I do need to be selfish. I don’t see the problem in being selfish, when I’ve always been selfless, with my friends and family. I’m not asking anyone to care for me. I’m asking myself to care for me and that’s the best kind of selfishness people need. What brought this on? People’s actions speaks volumes. When you take it upon yourself to be inconsiderate towards me, that’s an indication to me that, you do not care for me the way I care for you. So my advice to anyone is: Don’t let caring get to a point that it hurts you.