White on black violence, call it Cookies and CrŤme
Make your girl start to scream as I get her nookie to cream
Ignored like a diamond with a glisten that you mistook for a gleam
Reality mixes with fantasy since the powers that be shook up your dreams
Going after the king once I knock your rook with my queen
People think that Iím Emeril the way I cook up these schemes
Smooth criminal, Iím a lyrical crook getting green
Iím a star so shining is natural and thatís all it took to get seen
All I had was a rap book and a dream
So many hit choruses, I must have hooks in my genes
Reading my poetry, trying to break it down, youíre looking for themes
I hold the Lyricist Belt and keep the threads of the game as the seams of my jeans

All this from a car ride eh? Not bad Troy. I liked the way you kept the same ending rhyme and the flow. Some of the lines could use a bit of polishing up, but overall, you did a good job. I would like to see you expand this more and add more to it. I think that humidity there finally got to you darling. lol.

hey u!!! ok this was not bad u!! ahhhh i dont noe wat 2 say theres so much pressure! im doin this contest wit jess! shes [censored]in crazy! ok anyway um... it had a good flow and the rhymin was good!! i dont think there was anythin wrong with it!good joB! ~akaila~ ps. did i tell u my mom is makin me take a speed reading class for comprehension! what im trynna figure out is how da hell do u speed read a book and expect to learn anything!