May 19, 2006

Say Good-Night, Gracie — UPDATE

If you didn't watch last night's series finale of "Will & Grace," and you actually care to find out how things transpired on your own, then this post will be filled with spoilers aplenty. But I will bury all of those after the jump.

It seems a little hard to find more than a handful of gays who are genuinely mourning the passing of W&G. Many of the older ones feel, as I do, that its best years were long behind it; many of the younger ones simply ask, "Will and who?"

But even if we concede that W&G reinforced stereotypes or consigned gays to sexless, "nonthreatening" roles, it was still a groundbreaking series that brought needed messages to people who might not otherwise have heard them. And for that, we should be thankful that Will, Grace, Karen and Jack came into our lives at all.

May 18, 2006

Rub a Dub Doc

As part of ABC's Fall Schedule presentation, the actors on Grey's Anatomy reworked an infamous scene from earlier in the season. In the original, George dreams of taking a shower with the three attractive female interns he is living with at the time. In this parody clip, the tables are turned as Bailey walks in on a bastion of homoerotic soapiness.

May 16, 2006

The Dean of the Clueless Corps

DNC Chairman Howard Dean sauntered into the friendly confines of "The Daily Show" last night. The audience dutifully applauded references to President Bush's low standing in the polls, as well as Dean's predictions of Democratic takeover of the House and/or Senate.

But then host Jon Stewart had the temerity to ask just exactly how the Democrats were going to manage not to blow the opportunity before them.

Dean's plan: Let's put, say, four people in every state who will knock on as many as 5 to 6 million doors over the next few years.

"So the Dems are now as powerful as the Jehovah's Witnesses," Stewart said.

No, no, no! See, this is where the plan gets brilliant. If they're not home, then you hang this nifty little door-hanger on the doorknob!

But Stewart was having none of it. When he pressed Dean for an actual message, it was essentially, "We'll be less grafty than the other guy."

Then Dean actually angled the Democrats to the left of President Bush's centrist immigration policy.

Stewart neatly summed things up for Dean: "You are so not taking back the House and the Senate."

(Incidentally, no reference whatsoever was made to Dean's recent, humongous gaffes regarding gays.)

In other "Daily Show" news, Stewart took a cold, hard look at the reports of NSA-related phone shenanigans.

Hot on the heels of Administration denials of surveillance of domestic phone calls came a USA Today story last week stating that the National Security Agency has indeed kept a massive database regarding billions of domestic phone calls.

The government explanation has been that the database analyzes only call patterns, and not the content of all the calls themselves, to spot potential terrorists.

As Stewart points out, it's probably cold comfort to those of us whose call patterns are suspicious for any number of other reasons.

May 15, 2006

SNL Hits It Out of the Park

With just one episode remaining in the season, "Saturday Night Live" is finishing strong.

Maybe it was the remaining Vlada vodka in my system as I watched it yesterday morning, but I laughed uproariously at several of the sketches. Hosted by SNL and "Seinfeld" alum Julia Louis-Dreyfus, there was very little to criticize from start to finish.

I've included several of the sketches in a meaty highlight reel:

First, during the cold open, we are asked to imagine an alternate universe in which (the real) Al Gore was elected President in 2000 and re-elected in 2004, leading to a comically utopian America. But President Gore is troubled by a host of new "problems" that he has helped create. It's a great prelude to the real President's address to the nation tonight.

This sketch was priceless, and Gore's delivery was perfect.

Next, Kristin Wiig and Horatio Sanz are hosts of what looks like the worst TV morning show in history. Everything that can go wrong, does, including Sanz's accidental grab of Julia Louis-Dreyfus's boobs. It hearkened back to Elaine's own unintentional grope of Teri Hatcher on "Seinfeld." ("They're real, and they're spectacular!")

I have watched that sketch three times, and I belly-laugh every time.

Third, Andy Samberg plays a Learning Annex teacher of a class to teach people how to set up their own MySpace page. Except that the class is filled almost entirely with pervy older men with ulterior motives.

I keep getting distressed when I watch something that proves that pedophilia – or at least the suggestion of it – can be funny. But in this case, it's true. Sanz again shines in this sketch.

And finally, while probably the weakest of the four (mainly because it dragged on a bit too long) was a '70s-era gameshow spoof called "Charades," with Chris Parnell as host Bert Convy and a panel of D-list celebrities. Darrell Hammond was especially great as Rich Little, who incessantly interrupted with daft but hilarious non sequitur impressions.

The joke here was that all the charades Louis-Dreyfus's character had to act out were all part of a cruel, common theme.

The period costumes and wigs were terrific, as was Parnell's oversized microphone.

May 11, 2006

The Best Straight Friend We Wish We Had

Given the sparkly bent of our genetic code, it goes without saying that we here at Malcontent are big fans of Kathy Griffin. Whenever a commercial airs promoting the upcoming June premiere of her Bravo show, My Life on the D-List, we're given to deep sighs and daydreams of one day earning an invitation to become one of her gays.

As a taste of things to come, everyone's favorite fagnet hits the boards with her latest stand-up special, Kathy Griffin: Strong Black Woman. In these highlights, Kathy dishes about her rapid pink-slipping from the E! Red Carpet Special, celebrity rehab, her feud with Steven Spielberg, Tom Cruise's meltdown, who us gay folk lust after, Anderson Cooper, and the greatest things about Oprah.

Catching the entire show on Bravo is highly, highly recommended, if only for her total re-enactment of being locked out of a hotel room without any pants, and a backstage session with Celine Dion that includes autographs, photos, and light petting.

May 10, 2006

Will and Gracing Oprah's Couch

The cast of Will & Grace kicked off their week-long farewell tour on this morning's Oprah, offering up interviews, favorite clips, and a host of banter and secret sharing that isn't nearly as revealing as some people might wish.

The most awkward moment is absolutely Oprah's question to Eric McCormack about being a straight man playing a gay character, as the crickets chirp and the camera pans to a Sean Hayes who has no intention of touching the topic with a stolen Cher wig.

Instead we're treated to thoughts on defecation and other assorted things. While Will & Grace broke many barriers when it originally aired, I admit to have gone off the show as soon as the idea of Grace having a baby took over the running plot. The introduction of Leo and the increased pseudo-seriousness eroded the show's humor, tenor, and characters until I began to forget it was even on. Over the past four years, I might have seen three full episodes.

Still, it is worth remembering what the television climate was like when Will & Grace premiered. Ellen had gone off the air because of the concentration on her sexuality. We were living in the age before Queer As Folk and the L-Word.

If Will & Grace is stale and has run its course, the cast and crew still deserve to take their bows. When people are looking back at the age of the gay rights movement and how open gay culture finally entered the mainstream of American society, this is a show that will rightly belong on our little pink wall of fame.

I don't have a big problem with the anthropomorphizing of pets – although it isn't for me – but it does tend to go hand-in-hand with animal "rights." The duo don't get into that topic here, although they excoriated PETA in a previous episode.

When animals start paying taxes, then maybe we can discuss their "rights." (As always, Penn's language might be a bit strong for some work environments.)

Taken in this context, we gay folk are truly the canaries in the coalmine of sexual freedom. When they came for the anonymous warehouse-sling sex, I said nothing; for I did not go to creepy warehouses with older, vaguely foreign men in boots . . .

I think we all know the poem.

Friday's Real Time with Bill Maher tackled this issue with its panel. Liberals and conservatives holding hands. Mass hysteria. Bill even chimes in on the forest of debate over manscaping.

May 04, 2006

A Very Brady Thursday

Like many queer Gen X'ers, "The Brady Bunch" was part of my sexual awakening.

I've thought that Christopher Knight was one of the hottest bipeds for longer than I can recollect. That whole "Time to Change" thing? Puh-leeze. I was changing right along with his voice.

Despite the reports of Barry Williams's on-set hetero hijinks, I guess I always had hoped that at least one of the hot Brady boys was gay.

Tonight, "That 70s Show" provided me with two gay Bradys.

Williams and Knight played a gay couple who moved in next door to the Formans. This obviously tested the limits of Red's tolerance, but in a twist, he found a much more obvious reason to hate the playahs and their game. (I am siding with the gay Minnesota natives on this one.)

May 03, 2006

Time Warner Jackpot Sparks Outrage

New York (AP) — On the heels of Time Warner's announcement of a $1.46 billion first-quarter profit, the Senate Commerce Committee has announced hearings next week to investigate potential price-gouging.

"A profit that high cannot possibly be a result of market forces," said Sen. John F. Kerry (D-Mass.), a committee member. "I will not stand by idly while hard-working Americans and Vietnam veterans are made to pay obscene prices for substandard news and entertainment."

Commerce Committee staff members have been combing through the media giant's shareholder reports, news articles and other documents for evidence that the company is taking unfair advantage of consumers.

As the nation heads into the busy summer entertainment season, senators are concerned that high prices for Time Warner products are stretching Americans' disposable incomes thin. Others expressed anger at Time Warner's profligate spending.

"They're paying Anderson Cooper $2 million a year for, what, 300,000 viewers a night?" said Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-Wash.) "I mean, that's half of what Brian Williams makes on NBC, but about 6 million fewer viewers."

Richard Parsons, Time Warner chairman and CEO,receives his annual bonus

"Look at this list of underperforming properties," said Sen. Trent Lott (R-Miss.) "Ratings for 'The Sopranos' are in the toilet. The Atlanta Braves' starting (pitching) rotation has an ERA of – what – like, 12? And Quack.com? What the fuck is that?"

Senators said they intend to press Time Warner to adopt austerity measures.

Richard Parsons, chairman and CEO of Time Warner, was reached for comment atop a four-story pile of money.

"The men and women of Time Warner are working hard to shore up this critical sector of the U.S. economy," he said, lighting a fat Montecristo Platinum with a fistful of stock options.

"With Americans importing more of their news from Britain and more of their feature films from Europe, they should be thankful that there are still domestic media leviathans to make them think and laugh."

A Senate Commerce Committee spokesman said hearings would be scheduled for Tuesday, and that Parsons and other top executives could expect tough questioning.

"Like any red-blooded American, I'd fuck Brandon Routh too," said Sen. John Sununu (R-N.H.) "But $11 is still an awful lot to ask for Superman Returns, and that's even before nachos and a Coke."

May 01, 2006

A Sweet Preview

YouTube has a teaser trailer for the "Strangers With Candy" movie, scheduled for release on June 28:

The film is a prequel that has Jerri Blank (Amy Sedaris) returning home 32 years after becoming a runaway. It also stars Stephen Colbert and Paul Dinello "as a bible thumping science teacher and soft minded art teacher (respectively) in tragic love with each other."

Non-Ambiguously Funny

It may have been the equivalent of a clip show, but "Saturday Night Live" is always at its best when it features Rob Smigel's "Saturday TV Funhouse," and even better when the old clips are hosted by those ambiguously gay crime-fighters, Ace and Gary.

Two dozen of Smigel's most brilliant cartoons and films were shown on this weekend's SNL, sticking the shiv deep into everybody from Michael Jackson and Tara Reid to Disney, politicians and the Smurfs.

When Ace and Gary are picking the clips, you know there's bound to be some, uh, attention-grabbing content, such as Tom Brady in his underwear in a sexual-harassment training video or a naked Andy Samberg (with unfortunate pixelation).

I didn't bother including the clip with Samberg. The screen grab is probably all you need to know anyway.

A couple of bits of trivia: First, Ace and Gary are voiced by "The Daily Show" alums Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell, respectively. And second, last night I noticed for the first time that the "G" on Gary's chest resembles the "G" from Genre magazine, which is also a play on the "male" symbol: ♂. Maybe it's coincidence, maybe not.

Colbert's Correspondents Course

There's quite a bit of political frothing over Stephen Colbert's appearance at the White House Correspondent Dinner over the weekend. The usual suspects are leaping and hooting in the trees with roughly a thousand threads saluting the courage Colbert in taking on the President. I'll simply note that when a political party's hero of the year is a comedian, that's probably a sign of nothing good.

As for the actual performance, it's good in parts, awkward and stilted in others. The Helen Thomas Terminator 2 bit goes on far too long and has been trimmed. I'm a big fan of Colbert's right-wing pundit character, often featuring him in Malcovision, but he wears thin under the strain of twenty unbroken minutes. Though he seems very much out of his element, there are a few worthwhile moments and jokes interspersed throughout.

April 28, 2006

Quote of Last Night

"Donald Trump donated 436 acres of wilderness to the state of New York but asked that the land be named after him. It's true, yeah, the park consists of 400 acres of trees, all combed over to one side."