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The time is 2:00 pm. You are home on maternity leave with your 6-week-old baby, and your spouse is at work. The baby just fell asleep, but you’re not sure for how long she’ll stay that way. What do you do?

Option 1: Lay down for a nap yourself
—>Go to C, E, G, I, or K

Option 2: Take a shower for the first time in 3 days
—>Go to B, D, or F

Option 3: Do the dishes and clean your cluttered apartment
—>Go to H, L, or M

Option 4: Write overdue thank-you notes—>Go to A or J

A Wait, what? Thank-you notes should never trump sleep for an exhausted new mom! Go to Option 1. (However, people start to ask you if you received their gift, and you feel super guilty.)

BYou hear the baby crying mid-shower. So much for shaving your legs!

CCongratulations, you get a 1.5-hour nap! But consequently you miss the Amazon delivery of the size 1 diapers you desperately need.

DYou take an amazing, 20-minute shower. But you accidentally put way too much leave-in-conditioner in your hair, so it looks super greasy. You feel icky, but oh well, it’ll be 2 days ’til your next shower!

EYour baby wakes you after only 15 minutes. How could she be hungry again? Is this a growth spurt? Keep truckin’, mama…

FYou get in the shower, but only after you turn on the water do you discover that you’re out of soap. Also, you forgot a towel. It’s a drippy walk down the hall to the linen closet!

GYou lay down for a nap, but the baby is groaning and tossing and turning (even though she’s asleep). This makes it too hard for you to sleep, so you just lay there scrolling through Facebook. Oh well!

HYou tidy up your apartment, and feel great about it. But the next day, it’s suddenly even messier than before! You decide it’s okay to live in squalor for the time being.

IYou sleep for one hour (yay!) but it is fraught with dreams about accidentally leaving your baby at home unattended when you return to work.

JYou successfully take a 5-minute shower and write 2 thank you notes before the baby wakes. Unfortunately, you can’t remember who gave you 3 of your gifts…guess those people aren’t getting thank yous!

All moms know that enduring unpredictable night wakings is one of the biggest challenges of rearing offspring. On a whim, I created this chart to explain the wildly different thoughts running through my head based on on the time of night my sweet daughter wakes up. Enjoy! And please excuse the cursing – my brain loses its filter between 5 and 6 am.

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This is my personal blog, unfolding from the competing interests, joys, and priorities that swarm my brain. Basically, it's a place to post various ruminations, resources, and recipes that I think might be of interest to others. Views are my own and do not reflect the position of my employer or any other entity.