A Tweet That Was So Annoyingly Basic It Had to Be Blogged About: A Joint Rant Presented by BTB

Bert: I saw this tweet this morning and I swear to you, I have never seen something more basic in my almost 20 years of existence. The whole “you could die tomorrow so live your life now” concept is great. Cool. Live in the present, be happy, yada yada yada. Stop talking about it and do it.

But if I had a nickel for every time I saw a tweet like this, this would be me

I bet whoever wrote this piece of crap just finished watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy when they do the dramatic voiceover at the end summing up the theme of the episode. Something extraordinarily broad like “And then you know, when something isn’t real, it isn’t right” that could literally apply to any situation. Girls eat that shit up like playa bowls down the shore. And the girl who wrote that was 10000% in between episodes, pulled out her phone, wrote this down with that voiceover thing in mind, and then went on to watching the next episode, completely disregarding the “advice” she so dramatically gave.

And was this really that “eye-opening”???? Like whoever runs this account, and the 23 THOUSAND people who liked it, really never once thought: “Live in the moment”. They probably heard it at least once in the Grey’s Anatomy episode they re-watched 17 times.

My favorite one is “take care of yourself”. WOOOOOAAAHHHH SOMEBODY GET THIS GIRL A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE WE GOT MAHATMA GANDHI JR RIGHT HERE. If you’re somebody who read this, and you didn’t know that you should take care of yourself, I think you’ve got to reevaluate multiple things.

Stanzo, any thoughts?

Stanzo: Hey Bert. Yeah I’ve got some thoughts on this. You sent this screenshot in our group chat this morning and I was instantly filled with rage. Let me try and contain myself while I explain why this is in contention for my least favorite tweet ever.

First of all, the content itself makes no sense. Like Bert said, I’m all for the “carpe diem”, sieze the day lifestyle. But the shit they put in there is so basic it almost insults life itself. “You could die tomorrow, so buy the shirt.” Really? That’s your opener? If I walk out my front door tomorrow and get hit by a bus, I’m really gonna think “wow I’m so glad I got that H&M shirt yesterday” from beyond the grave?

I’d bet on anything that whoever wrote this bullshit is the same kind of person that tweets “I don’t lose, I only learn” after their boyfriend dumps them. No, losing in life is not only possible but actually common. No basketball team has ever lost by 20 points and been like “wow, what a valuable lesson we learned today!”

Now, the “live in the moment” mentality needs to come with a grain of salt. It applies to stuff like going out and having a good time when you’re young sometimes instead of being couped up in your dorm 24/7 studying. It doesn’t mean to drink 6 nights a week and get addicted to cocaine because hey, who knows, there could be a nuclear war tomorrow!

And the attention this tweet got? Over 13K retweets and 23K likes? That’s what makes me lose faith in America. To know that there are this many people out there (and probably way more) that agree that this paragraph of bullshit is “eye-opening” is beyond concerning.

Bottom line, the kind of people who tweet/retweet things like this are the worst kind of people, the Twitter equivalent of convicted rapists and child predators. I know what you’re thinking, you’re welcome. Bert and I are more than happy to point this out, because not all heroes wear capes.

One thought on “A Tweet That Was So Annoyingly Basic It Had to Be Blogged About: A Joint Rant Presented by BTB”

This is the modern equivalent of 2006, when everyone’s AIM profile had the lyrics of “Unwritten”.

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
No one else no one else
Can speak the words on your lips….
….
The rest is still unwritten.

Every single person was trying to be original and said, “This is my new motto.” So annoying.

Also, as the resident economics teacher here, let me just say that the “You could die tomorrow so buy anything you want today” is precisely the frivolous-spending mantra that led to our economy’s recession in 2008. Therefore all the people who “liked” today’s tweet are essentially trying to wreck our economy.