I am fairly surprised to see readers still coming by here. Perhaps it had to do with one of the people who bad mouth me after the mishap , had to themselves get rescued at sea. Karma has a way of doing that, put out negative, negative comes back. Someone, a friend brought that up, their sea rescue and I guess reopened a post on Seven Seas. It was pretty hurtful to reread some of the comments, but oh well, people can compassionate and cruel. We humans are quite a mix.

The universe is a heartless teacher, I hope the crew of the misshaped boat will learn the compassion of their friends, (as I learned mine) and recover well. It is a blessing no lives were lost, things can be replaced. Fair winds to them.

I am about to restart life in WaterWorld. I have a upcoming exam for a Captains lic in Japan and two upcoming Sailboat deliveries. WaterWorld Japan starts shortly.

It is a month ago now that we were some 250 miles off the coast of Mexico trying to make it back to land. We had hoped to reach some land base and make repairs and put the boat up for sale. The sail had proved we did not have the equipment or funding to make an Ocean crossing. We had spent a week getting 250 miles closer to land from 500 miles off shore. It had been a unpleasant passage. Not terrifying but unpleasant and enlightening to our weak points. Mostly, the lack of a wind-vane and stronger rudder gear. More so the wind-vane.

We are blessed to be now safe in Osaka. There is some sadness in being boatless and out of some items. It does feel weird being boatless. Yet, although a discomfort to lose things they are just things, and as such with some effort and luck can be replaced. Our lives can not. Due to the blessings of compassionate gifts, some things have been replaced. As well as we did make our overall goal of arriving in Japan…alive So on some level we were successful. We are deeply grateful to those who made it possible. _/|\_

Over the last few weeks I have read some misc posts and articles about our trip and loss. I never expected to be infamous this way. There is even an article in Latitude 38. Some of the misc sailing boards had some folks who had voiced their “expert” opinions. It must be a great thing to be born an expert or a sailing prodigies. Like Jesus born with no sex involved, nice! Still the “experts” say they did not read the whole blog or know the full story, yet never the less they spoke, critiqued from their limited perspective. I guess that is one of the benefits of being a sailing prodigy. Whatever I suppose this is to be expected, people are like that. Some will always have some judgment to make on others. Take words the wrong way, see/hear what they want. Same as many people only listen enough to respond, not understand what one is expressing to them.

Those people do not matter, they are only about themselves. like the couple we helped when they had trouble, but have not heard even a word of compassion for our issues. Just out for themselves, anyway I digress.

I did what I felt was right for my family to survive. More importantly “I did”, not talk. There were times on board and afterward I felt a failure. However more than the few who had negative statements, even more had positive statements, coming down to one thing. “I did” I did not talk about doing it, I went out and took the step, cast off the lines. It was not my skills that failed, but equipment. In my youth being a small person I looked up to Bruce Lee, I found this statement from him. True or not from him, it is still valid.

So now looking back from a safe dry place even after the lost of much, we gained. My Tai Chi coach often told me, ” there are times when you lose, you win.”

We lost things, items, but we won the understanding and gifts of true compassion from friends we had met and those we had not. This compassion went beyond, race, class, or the other BS, which in we as humans get so lost. As well as knowing who are my true caring friends. These are the true things to value in life. We are on the road to recovery due to the compassion of these people. I have a better understanding of interdependence and compassion, not just from seeing it, hearing about it, but receiving it!

To those who were wondering, I am not giving up on sailing, just Ocean crossing, and defiantly on a tight budget! It will take a while before we can get to a place were it is possible to sail. However giving up no! Even LZ still wants to sail, though not for weeks on end.

I have read some very judgmental things said on various forums about our trip, no matter, they do not know me or my background. Even though I said, while writing in the middle of depression I am not a “Sailor”. I can and will continue to sail, but a “Sailor”, which was referring to is all about that life style, the high adventure, the man against the sea mind. I am strong enough to say a sailor, not a Sailor, small “s” not big “S”. Like saying we all are “gods” small “g” not big “G”. Having some of God’s essence make us still part of that. A drop sea water is still sea water. If that makes sense, or matters . Maybe I am going to far off, digressing :-)

I am still looking forward to one day sailing the inland sea, Okinawa and parts of Korea, perhaps even over to China and Taiwan to visit friends. Who knows maybe my boat will end up here in Japan on it’s own one day, stranger things have happened. Otherwise once we get reestablished I understand I can get a smaller reasonable weekend sailboat here to explore around in. I do miss being able to go out there, blend with the elements and enjoy the scenery. Sailing, like being a musician is not something one gives up, it can go on hold, but it is never abandoned until you can not physically play.

I do not want to make another attempt at a crossing. Not really, unless conditions, are better, a lot better. Meaning the boat and equipment. I do not have the fear of the Ocean or being “out there” with no real control. However having the best equipment po$$ible is important. One of the Main pieces is a dependable windvane. This was the first weak link on our passage. The rudder could not be helped. It was checked before we left. I believe though if the auto pilot had not failed the rudder would have survived. I still love sailing and want to do more. However I am not a hard core sailor seeking the big adventure. I never was that but now it is certain. Knowing ones self is part of the goals of meditation. The good and bad sides of one’s self, strengths and weakness, this is what makes one a warrior, a survivor of life. In Kyudo we work for beauty of individual expression within the limits of the eight steps of Shooting. In living we work within the limits of our strengths and weakness. However we do not have a manual on what they are, we must take chances to find them. Meditation can help but it just one form, a formless form, we must find out our limits within form since that is were we live. To do that we have to take chances in the world of form. From this passage I learned on both levels of form and formlessness.

Nothing has been heard of the Zenamaran, perhaps in a few months something will be. One never knows what the new tide will bring. As the religious would say, God works in wondrous ways. The flow of the Ocean flows passes Japan, would it not be too amazing to have it show up here, as the debris from the Tsunami ended up in Cal/ Oregon, like that Shrimping boat. That would be quite an ending to the “lost of Zen” story.

In closing another positive point is now I have a more interesting story to write about, rather than the same old we went here and saw this and that. Swam here and there, etc etc. We had a real adventure and most important survived. Also it did not cost the US government anything for the rescue. Just a side note for the naysayers.

We are grateful to all, those who helped with words and funds. I do wish though that we could have made an impact on the minds of people for the need to change our, we humans way of thinking about the Oceans, the environment, our food supply and animals in our care. This is more important than if “I should or should not have been out there” if I made it or not. My sailing success or not effects a very limited group. Our Care or in this case the LACK of CARE for our environment effects everyone! What we do to the Ocean/Air we do to ourselves and all life. There is no backup planet, there is no rescue ship, there is no space EPRIB. We, the earth, the Oceans and it’s multi-life forms on this planet, this is the real Interdependence we need to come to terms with. Cut the BS about race, sailing experience, gay marriage, who this sport figure or movie person is sleeping with. Our air, food, and water supply is the real issue to our and our children’s future.

Perhaps our case of losing in sailing is another form of losing, yet winning. Maybe this will give us a chance to be heard about the real things of concern to us as earth people, not just Americans, Japanese, Chinese, Africans, Mexicans or other labels we use to divide us and keep us in the illusion of “us and them”. There is only US (earthlings), there is no duality. Our sail was only “the finger pointing to the moon”.

Zensekai2 blog was about our sea and water life adventures. Started some 13 yrs ago when I first started to form a dream about long distance sailing.

I struggled, I worked, I saved, I made connections, took classes, taught, I spent, and then finally took the step and cast off. I am pleased with myself for pulling that off. On top of all the physical preparations, one needs to go through mental preparations, even spiritual preps in order to cut the lines to illusionary stability of land life.

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That in itself is a success. Many do not get that far and just talk. We took the risk put our money and life where my mouth was.

Now it is over. We are boatless and technically Homeless. We did have a memorable adventure, we met some good people, saw some places otherwise missed.

Speaking of good people, we wish to thank the sailing community and friends at large and those on facebook who made very helpful donations to help us through our down recovery time. It will be a slow process to regroup , but with the compassionate help from these people we are making progress and are able to go to Japan and reset our lives there as was the original plan upon our retirement earlier this year. This continuation would not have been possible without the help of friends, family and the facebook sailing community, Arigatou. _/|\_

With the end of the Pacific Eco a passage and the lost of our boat, seems like a good place to end this blog…for now.

Once we finally reach Japan there maybe a reconstruction of some water life via Aoki Yachts. Even that at this point is uncertain, just as everything is in life.

Thanks to those who followed and left comments. we are scraping together funds enough for our ticket to Japan….hahaha, another challenge! Returning to Ensenada would be more lost ground while sleeping. So we are moving ahead.

We sit at anchor in long beach harbor. Waiting for the pilot boat and the officials to take us to shore.

We had breakfast this morning and said our goodbyes to the kitchen staff and some of the other helpers, like the Filipinos who helped us and the bridge crew and the very helpful Captain. We took pictures and later received a called the kitchen crew and team wanted to stay in contact via facebook.I gave them our Facebook info and the zensekai2 blog address.

Once we reach shore we will need to clear into the the U.S. then find a place to stay for a couple of days whilst we organize. It is a weird feeling to realized the fact of being homeless. Oh we have places to go family friends, but technically no place that is ours here in the states.

We do have the blessing of some funds to be able to get a motel for a few days, we may even stay at a YMCA in LB and/or SD while we make plans to head back to Mexico. Once there perhaps something will be found out, heard about the Zen II. However my hopes for that are low to zero. Still one never knows what the tide will bring. So for now we wait and let the Tao unfold.

With small plans we wait

Unsure of the new direction to flow

The Tao feeds singing birds.

From the misc information gathered over the last few days. It was the correct choice to abandon ship. We would have not made it and been in worse circumstances than we were. In our area wave were expected in the 20 ft range. In the area we were trying to reach waves were even higher. Had we tried to go south with the flow of the current, we would have encountered even worse conditions. As it was, the ship that saved us, was taking a different route than normal therefore it was nearby.

The next closest ship was another 60-80 miles distance and would have taken another 5 hours minimum to reach us. As it was once we were off the boat, the conditions dropped fast and the rescue boat had issues even getting the rescue dinghy back onto the ship’s deck.

Perspective: on one hand, I can view my guardian angel abandoned us, or was non – existent. Another view is, it saved our lives from this misadventure. Placing aside the view of higher spirit influence, my karma was to learn not to die. I am grateful to whatever Force there is we are alive and well to continue. _/|\_

Yosh

Evening of the 22nd day: Landfall, end of Passage

Welcome back to the USA

It was check out time on the tanker. I thought the Coast Guard and immigration was coming aboard. Wrong. It was the customs/border cops only – homeland security. They checked in the ship crew first then it was our turn. One of the two guys was ok, the other acted like we did something wrong. He took a magnifying glass to LZ green card checking it, WTH was that about!? Plus his questions, I felt like I was under third degree questioning, a terrorist suspect. Finally they said we where free to entry!

The crew helped us with our bags down to the waiting water taxi, we said our goodbyes and were off. I was thinking there was more to it than that. I thought the border patrol would take us to the Coast Guard who would help get us …something…information ..forms, but no nothing. We were on our own at that point. No help, no you can use the office to call, something. Nope, zip! I stopped in the Port Harbor Master office told them the story, asked to use the phone. I was told there is a public phone outside and a ATM machine next door. There are city phones in the office and I could not use them! Whoa snap . So helpful and compassionate!

I hauled our two heavy bags and a backpack to the LB free shuttle. From there went to the tourist center to ask about a YMCA. They knew nothing. Only where the paid to be in the book shops and services were located. So we got a taxi to take us to the YMCA, after much riding playing hide and seek we found one. ..it was closed down! Back in the taxi drove to another. No YMCA rooming facilities in Long Beach, LA was the closest. Frustrated , tired, irked. We set off to a motel. As we drove on Pacific Coast Hwy. to a place I saw on the net, we passed by several. Finally just said stop to the driver, turnaround and let go into the one we just past. It was not that great but this part of PCH was ok, rather than the seedy area I thought we were headed to. The sign said it was almost the same price. That turned out to be a lie, well ok, no. But for one person not two. Plus the internet was extra 3.00 per device. I was ready to get back in the taxi. LZ told the woman our story and she said she would give us a break on the price. Turns out it was not that much. However since we were here I figured ok, one night. So we checked in.

Afterward I walked down the street to the thrift store to buy a few shirts since I had only two and some socks, since I had only one pair. There I also purchased a couple of suitcases, which we needed for Mexico and Japan. I got, I thought a good price for everything. From there I walked to the next block to check on the other motel before going to the 7-11 for water. This motel was cheaper, free internet, free light breakfast, cleaner rooms, frig and mini nuker. I returned with LZ later and we booked a room for the next day. Oh did I say the place we are currently at stinks of cigarettes, the bathroom is kind of funky, there is no other lights in the bedroom but one ceiling light so it is dim, oh, there are no wall sockets but one, it behind the dresser. To top all that off, the internet barely connects most of the time.

So, after being rescued at sea, losing our home, being treated very nicely and fed well on a foreign boat our first day back in the states was…memorable.

Rescued last night by a Greek oil freighter. Taken off the boat just after dark. A very small inflatable showed up w/three men in it who came for us. LZ and I were surprised the boat was so small, it was wondered if we would be able to take more than one bag. However they took our two large bags. We left one other important bag, but, at least we could carry the main two. I handed the guys our two bags, then LZ jumped on followed by me.

Heading back to the ship I was concerned the small boat would flip over. However the crew took their time and because of the flexibility of the boat it rode the wave coming from behind us nicely.

Surreal climbing out of the life boat and up the access ladder to the ship. That was nerve raking, the rope ladder flexed and swayed with the wind and waves. I had LZ go first so we could hopefully catch her if she fell. It was a matter of timing to catch the ladder from the tender. One had to time it with the rise of the wave. she almost missed it the first time and we stopped her. on the second time she was up and away. I was nervous about it , however she did ok, taking her time and not looking down. Next was my turn, a bit more tricky. I understood the timing, but I had on a heavy backpack with our computers, then on top of that my large Shakuhachi. Therefore my balance was off center. With some careful awareness I also made it without incident. Once aboard the crew took my bags and helped us below on the rolling ship deck. It took the crew another hour to bring the tender and the other bags aboard since the seas were turning ugly and hard to manage.

Once aboard everyone made us feel welcome and comfortable. We were taken to the officers lounge, given hot soup and whatever else we wanted, while a room was made ready for us to stay. We were given the ship’ owners cabin to stay in for our trip to Long Beach. We had a good night sleep after a hot shower. We were able to carry two large bags of personal effects, and a backpack, everything else is left and we are now for all purposes homeless, but safe, warm, and fed.

Better seeing one’s failure alive

Than to have someone read about it

In memory… chopped in stone

So here we are on the Greek oil tanker KASTOS. The crew is an interesting mix. Greeks, Filipinos, and Ukrainians , and perhaps another ethnic.

We will have meals at the captain’s table, are quartered in the owners bedroom,

have laundry access, private shower and access to the kitchen. We will be on here for the next 2.5 days. We are supposed to be in Long beach on the 22nd. The cook came to our room this morning and asked what we wanted for breakfast . It was made then brought up to our room.

The sky is finally blue, but the sea condition are bad. I was told that we were rescued at the right time, and hour later it would have been near impossible. It is good I did not wait longer. Conditions got worse right after we got rescued and continued to go bad after that. The Captain said he had planned on towing the Zenamaran until he got the weather update and judged the conditions to be too bad to safely tow. Sad for us, but better alive.

Looking out today over the ocean it is not an ocean in fury , but the surge is high with serious white caps. From up almost on the top deck, here the seas look to be about 15 ft, not gentle sea, but has violent chop. There is no way we could have gone windward against that with one rudder. We would have had to stay on the sea anchor hoping it would hold. Even then it would have been a rough ride and we would have lost all the ground we covered over that last several days.

What an adventure this has been. Since leaving Ensenada, it went all down hill.

My days of desire to do an Ocean Passage is gone completely. Only day sailing or over night …if I get the chance to do it again. I do not see boat ownership in the future again as in Japan it is so costly and work is unsure. Also gone is the chance at publicity being one to sail to Japan which could have help establish myself as a sailor of note, advertising for classes and charter trips, Tai Chi, music. etc. all gone. Man plans, Heaven ordains.

Dreams are born and lost

Ocean waves with misty tops break form

We are but life’s waves

Day 20

Swaying is gentle yet deep

From high the waves seems small…perception

Same water, different ship…change

Day two aboard the oil tanker KASTOS. We just finished breakfast, simple but good. We ate alone, I was told not many officers come to breakfast. I guess lunch is their first big meal. Dinner and lunch yesterday was great, Greek food filling , but light.

Seas are calmer today, still not passive but much calmer. I can not help but wonder how, if we could have survived the last two days of high seas and still kept our boat. Also what now has become of the Zenamaran. I am sure at some point we will hear about her turning up, somewhere and stripped of course of anything usable. I remembered last night my kung fu suit from Ling Sisuk was on there, I am sick I did not think of it at the time I would have grabbed that for sure. One of the good choices I made was not to bring really important things with us on the trip, because of water damage or theft. Still abandoning the boat and the items lost brings deep sadness. Today it is starting to hit more so. Besides the fact of having no idea what to do next. I feel no inspiration. LZ thinks we should return to Ensenada, find a small apt and wait until plane tickets to Japan drop. I guess that is as good a plan as any…I guess . After all the wrong choices about this trip, I am not feeling confident about my choices, right now.

I did though make the right choice to call for help, when considering LZ’s state of mind. Also to use the Eprib. The response came from that at the right time. Before that I had spoken to the CG via VHF radio, and they said they would contact the Mexican Navy and re-contact me. As it was I never heard back from them and when I tried to raise them on the radio, no response. With LZ’s state of mind I thought it best to be sure help was coming, therefore used the EPRIB. Perhaps the my best choice of the trip, to have and use the Unit.

Feeling depressed today. It is unknown to me what I was to learn from all this. I can speculate…

Heaven is uncaring about dreams

Life, death, joy, sadness, tears, laughter …same

Survival, flowing with the Tao

Evening day 20

Spent a large part of the last two days sleeping. Not that I feel so tired, it is perhaps the depression or mental fatigue from the last couple of weeks. Perhaps both. We spoke of what to do from now. Me feeling bad over what was lost, bad choices, taking blame, has nothing to with moving on from this point. Other than cementing my belief I am not a lucky gambler, the proof being I gambled the last of most of what we had on this trip and lost, 99% of it.

Anyway, so far the temp plan is to return to Ensenada, we can afford a place there to live, while waiting for flights to Japan to drop. Right now it is travel season, so cost are high. There is the very remote chance the Zenamaran will turn up, very remote.

Really no other plan is workable right now with any sort of logic to it. Perhaps go stay with my cousin in Atlanta, until we can go to Japan. As said I am not feeling sure about any choices right now. As much as my faith has been shaken in divine guidance…pretty much that is all I have left to go on. On the other hand, that is what got me here, so maybe that is not the best choice. Everything is speculation right now and as mixed up as the seas we left.

Perspective…on one hand I can feel divinely abandoned in our need for help during the passage. Blocked at every step. Still on the other hand, we did not die, we were rescued pretty much in the nick of time, by very kind people and placed in good care. Still if heaven can do that, why not just help us get back to port with our little and only possession, the ZenCat, sell it and move on with at least some financial help from the sale. As it is, we are homeless and for the most part broke…still we are alive and well. It all comes down to how one wants to look at things. In Zen/Chan, we say there is no good or bad, per say it is perspective. Just as Monday’s are not inherently bad/sucky, they are just another day. It is how we chose to perceive Mondays. The same Monday that is the beginning of the week for someone, is the beginning of someone’s weekend. ” one man’s heaven…”

Anyway as much as this sucks, people have come back from worse. So now it is our time to overcome this hardship and ganbaru!

Still for right now, my spirit is beat down and lacking power. All I have is words and sayings to lean on, “knock down 7, stand 8″ saying them is easy…living them is hard. But really if there is life and breath, one has no choice, but to stand and take another step …or check out. I am not ready for that. So for now, I fully feel the depression. I will sleep, renew and re-center my spirit, weigh choices, breathe, and get through the next moment, then the next…

We need to hand steer a minimum of 15 hours a day. Covering 75 miles day in order to make it in 27 days from now approx 5 knt an hr or better. We have water for 32 daysLZ figures. 22 days , she is thinking nonestop. I am thinking hov-to breaks. We’ll see!

Tonight is the first night on stoppage. We covered about 40 some miles today half as much as needed, but it is the first night. We are down to less than 2,000 miles to Hawaii. About 1990 NM. So we’ll see how this works out. I hope we can get some smooth seas, because currently the waves are beating the heck out the ZenCat and the nerves of LZ.

Day 7 – 6:30 am

Uninspired, cloudy as the sky

Moving forward hopes light as the wind

From mud grows the lotus

Wind broadside from the west, current from the south, when it should be North. As yet no day of sunshine to be seen. Seas are confussed as I , yet they have only themsleves to deal with. Lots of water from all the wave hits under boat have soaked the floor from the underside vents. We feel as ovecast as the days. When does the magazine fun start?

This is going to take a while. Headway is a challenge. As miserable as things are, they could be a lot worse at least it is not cold. We are grateful. This headway weather, current challange should pass in a few days. We must ganbarimasu! 1960 NM to go…yosh!

4:05 pm

When we decided to go to Hawaii the weather was perfect, wind right, current right. Now everything is wrong!

We are both tired and frustrated. We need to go on, the wind is from the west! I had thought about sailing through the night, but we needed to stop and rest!We where able to reach 7.5 knts at one point, that was kind of cool and hopeful.

If we can have some copperation with nature I am sure we can do 9-10 knt direct to Hawaii. I do not undersatnd why the Tao blocks our progress, is it for our own good or a punishment. All perspective no doubt

The Tao does not care.

We are just drops in the Ocean

Fish swim, and birds sing

One thing for sure this is my last long distance passage. Short huals only. I have tried to see the beauty but 95% has been suffering. No sun maybe 3 hrs in 7 days, no stars only for 2 hrs one night, no pleasure sailing, just trying to move forward against head winds that are not suppose to be there! I want a refund! :-)

Day 8

The eighth day of passage

Nothing changed but the date and time
Another bad choice in life

Least there is no storm,

Other than in my heart and mind

Somewhere a sunning bird sings.

So tired, hungry, sleepy, where are the beautiful sunrises, sun sets, sea life. All have had is clouds and wind from the wrong way. Turning back thoughts are close at hand and heart. LZ fights sickness, sorry my dream turned to a nightmare. I recall Yoh Sensei’s book, how he wanted to give up also and we’ve been through less. I worry about water lasting…

We have lost the use of one rudder. I rigged up something to help turn….poor. We are struggling! I do not know if we can make it unless nature helps. We need helpful wind and current, right now it is all against us! Sad, frustrated. LZ is sick, I am tired and getting weak, we really need a break, the good kind, not another rudder kind.

If something else breaks, we are done! All is lost when I call for help! People lose everything in fires, earthquakes, floods, if alive one can always get stuff again. Life is not about stuff!…positive thoughts to self.

We will try to make Hawaii, there repairs can be done. With over 1900 miles it seems hopelessly fighting the Tao.

Even in my rain boots my feet are wet, several days. Mentally preparing to lose everything…but will continue until we can not or reach Hawaii! Yosh!

Ninth day

Sun partly showing, sign…hope?

Full night of sleeping, floating, planning, prayer

Trees need dirt to grow.

We will try a new tack of 8 hr on and 8 hrs of rest, balance is important. Things are not in our hands, so might as well try and trust in the Tao to bring us through. Staying healthy is important as is a good mind and spirit, so rest is needed…balance.

Partly sunny but no wind

Hope can be as a fluffy cloud

Fish swim, birds fly…simple

500 miles from land.

Limping, floating, and drifting on windless sea

Hawaii seems a foolish dream.

Sunshine, partly cloudy and rain

God shows leaks at the window joints

Birds fly, fish still swim.

Crippled, wet, drifting, calm seas

LZ cleans to bring order to life

New wind is still prayers

Viewing the blue gray sky

Honda motor makes power while we drift

Nihon still a world away.

Five miles lost night drifting

Seems the ocean is sending us back

Hope is fleeting spring shower.

No divine to change things

Nature is uncaring, we blend or not

Fish swim, birds fly…life

Crawling to fordeck with glue

Speading the sticky whitness around the glass

Keeping the outside in place.

Knocked down seven, stand eight

Nine days seeking harmony with the wind

Heartless wind never tires…cares.

Belief in God is good

Following the Tao can bring serenity…peace

Now my belief’s…duct tape

Evening of th 9th day

Understanding the circle

The circle, symbol infinite flow

Day spent motoring, tacking back to start

One understand the circle intimately.

It has been decided to return. Safety is more important than dreams. Had no usable wind most of the day. We motored, we drifted, we tacked. There comes a time when logic needs to over come stubbornness and accept the flow. Nature always wins. A day wasted on limited water is a day lost. Tomorrow unknown. Following the pattern of the last week nature. The saying hard heads make for soft behinds. Or “one can not push river” tomorrow. We return to Ensenada.

Even drifting we are pushed that way…sort of

Day 10 the failure of Fuu’s folly

At 4:00 am, after not sleeping much, I started the motor for the long trip back to Ensenada. I do not know if we will make it with out help. It is about 530 miles, we have enough fuel to motor for 2 days, with fair winds it will take 8-12. of course there is no wind to speak of today. So depressed. LZ is weak and sick.

I have to wonder is it better to dream , try and fail or not to try and just keep the dream. I am tired. Unless the wind helps, God, Nature, whatever we will need to call for help. Which means most likely leaving the boat. It is good there is nothing highly important on here than can not be taken on a resuce boat, at least I planned that well.

Once we get back, unknown. If boatless, it is simple, we get in touch with Okansan in Japan and try to head home to Osaka to reset life. With the boat…? Maybe just put it up for sale. The cost of equipment to reasonably, safely cross is beyond what we have. Watermaker, windvane, SSB or Sat phone something to communicate with someone.

Well we did try, and were not one of those who sat at the dock for years talking about leaving. However in the end it means about the same…nothing.

Another cloudy sky day

A small gloom compared to my heart

The windless day seems endless

Glassy sea silky smooth

Container of life and death, calm chaos

Fish swim and birds fly

500 miles off the coast

The last days of the Zenmaran afloat

In joy there is saddness

Day 11

Another day adrift. LZ is sick again and on edge. However not ready to call for help. We can wait, there is food and water. Nothing stays the same nor can this situation. I figure even if a storm comes there will be wind before it, we can use that to get closer to land and call for help, or try to out run it. The boat is still fast in good wind, although hard to steer with one rudder. Faster than a storm doubtful, but we can run, then baten down and wait.

We are in the middle of the coast of Baja. 500 plus miles to Ensenada, 600 and so miles from Cabo. Kind of sucks, it is what it is. The 20 miles we motored north yesterday 6 was lost drifting over night. We no longer drift to shore, now we drift out to sea. I will wait another day or so.

Going almost in a circle

Current takes us back to the beginning

Sleeping winds dream of nothing.

Last night we had a hot meal and sat on the deck for dinner. It was in fact kind of nice and peaceful, once blending into the moment and not being lost on what was not. I read. I had a full night sleep last night, I must have been exhausted or escaping. I slept from 7 or so until about 7 this morning with only a loo break.

Another day, clouds and drift

Training on being in this moment only

Swiming fish look for breakfast.

I am not a sailor, l guess that is one lesson from this. I can sail, I can handle the boat well and blend with the element, however the moments of pleasure have been slight. There was a few moments when the flow was there, the sequencing , the harmony of movement, with water, wind and self was balanced, beauty. However a real sailor would live for this adventure. I have been measurable since we left. I guess I am just a weekend sailor. I do not want to do this passage stuff again. I would love to fly someplace, rent a boat and explore, then fly home. That would be excellent. Sail around the inland sea, exploring, yup I want that. Weeks at sea, wet, drifting, sleepless, tired, with a broken boat sucks.

On the other hand, if I had the money to buy a well setup CAT or put the money into the Zenamaran, windvane or highend Auto pilot, watermaker, communications system, I would continue with this. A friend, said cruising is about the people you meet on the way. That is so true, met some nice people, that one only will met by being out there. The passage part sucks for the most part, so it has been my limited experience. We joked about that sitting around one day drinking wine. How pictures of sailors, sailing are mostly from the good moments afterward, were everyone is buzzed and forgottening about the sucky trip to get were they are. The trip is why sailors drink so much.

I was looking forward to some great sunrises, sunsets, masses of stars at night, dolphins swiming with the boat, frolicking with the boat and waves, whales in the distance, me saying there she blows. All we saw mostly was clouds. I know it has been one of the other side of manys sailing, like the folks on ZTC who have on the tropics, sunning, hiking, drinking, skinny dipping, frolicking with flora and fauna… There are two sides to everything. Yin and yang, Ours has been the otherside, even then, it has been the light side of the otherside. Thankfully there has been no terror!

I am sad that the Zenamaran will not see Japan, we will be boatless there. All the plans and years of effort laid for setting up that life are, will be gone. LZ has said in one of her positive moments that the Zenamaran served it’s good purpose, we made excellent contacts and friends because of having the ZenCat, ones that would otherwise not have been. Ones for Japan at that, which is important for us to re-set., even one with some musical connection, at least for some Jamming.

I rememeber in Yoh sensei’s (Genius book recordholder) book about how discouraged he was at one point, hating the sea, ready to give up. Here it is not so much I am ready to give up. Here we have hit a wall. The wind was blowing west – onward, the auto pilot broke- onward, the rudder broke – onward, the wind stopped – onward, at every onward was another stop. If one believes in going with the flow of the Universe of the Tao , it would be plain to see when one is trying to push the river. We are out of money to continue. So unless the “Tao” sends some positive reinforcement to do so, like Yoh Sensei gifts of money for repairs and food from his friends, we have reached the end of the line for the Eco Passage.

We will drift and wait for a few more days, before pushing the red sos button. We have to ganbatte as long as possible. So often just when you quit, things are about to change. We have water and food, so we’ll ganbarimasho!

Only faith in change left

Heaven doing large life, we so small

Fish swim, the oceans roll.

——

Glassy, wavy mirrored surface

Reflecting below what is above

Floating, no other purpose

Than to wait

The Tao

——–

Sending spot signals,

Saying we are well.

Wonder if anyone who sails,

Can tell

Something is wrong…

We sit.

——–

LZ cleans, does her hair

Brings order to her life, her Zen

Mirrored Ocean reflects the sky.

Even in sadness there is joy…

There is some good news. I have been concerned about salt water found in a lower portion. None has been found over the last 2 days, so it seems to be coming when we are assaulted by the wave. This is some comfort in a time of litttle.

It feels as thugh the wind may return tomorrow. I am trying to make a weather connection. So far the timings have been off, or it is the wrong area or something.

Evening of the 11th day

I thought we had a break, the wind started. We did also. Some help from the motor and we started. We ran with it for about 1 hour. reached about 4.5 knts at one point, i thought ok. We are off, and cut the motor back more and more. I had hope to recover the lost ground of the past night’s drift, which set us back some 9 miles south west of what we gained the day before. I also figured and hoped to get closer to Turtle bay. Go there refuel, rest and then onward to Ensenada. Figureing with fuel, even if the winds die we could make it in 4 days back to port, relief and rest.

Then then wind got less and less. I brought the motor back on line…it started to change pitch, not in a good way. The winds fizzled, it was decided to stop. Another problem has shown itself… Now the motor is posed to die… I think. How wonderful another challenge from the Universe. Even going with the flow, heeding the signals, bulletin board sized posts, to return, I am being blocked, tormented.

So settling in for the night, locking down everything in hove-to state, the rudder so it does not move to much and break the final rudder post. Well a new surprise, now the light for the compass is burnt out, so can not see the direction at night.

Even under the best of conditions, we are a week away from port.

Somewhere someone, Something

Enjoying the joke, a big laugh

But not here.

I am so tired.

” Do not pray for an easy life, pray for strength for a tough one” …Bruce Lee

The waves are up from last night, it will not be a peaceful night…

Night waves rock the boat

She is alive with bangs, bumps, knocks

Sleeping fish do not care.

Day 12

I wired the broken rudder, so at least it can be in the water. I opened all the sails full, and stopped worrying about chaffting. The air is light as we started managing 23 knots. The winds varied up and down, there was even a while where sailing was was fun at 5.0 knts. Streering is hard, but it is somewhat easier with two rudders to hold course. We are making some headway toward land. I figure the closer we are into land the more chance of getting help, by seeing a boat or on the radio. However that is at least several days away at any pace.

Light winds from the west

Sails open full to catch any breeze

Hope peeks through the clouds

White sails taunt with wind

Bouncing on early summer blue ocean waves

Mintues… sun smiles on me.

We are 460nm from Ensenda as of today. We had a good sail. It was even enjoyable. Nice speed, not too much bump. I saw the sun, and the moon tonight. We will lose ground over night whilst adrift hove-to. I have tried to cut it down, but as far as I know it can not be stopped. I thought about the sea anchor, but logicaly the Ocean will still move everything that on /in it unless fasten to the bottom.

Tomorrow, it would be great and a real blessing if it was like today only better and good get 50- 75 miles. That would be outstanding.

Day 13

Sunrays peeks through morning clouds

Course set to face the summer sunrise

Fish only care about breakfast

Set underway at 7:00, Lz still asleep. Sea not too bad, wind is good. Soon up to 5 knts plus mostly holding. We lost 10 NM while sleep. That is disappointing but not unexpected.

What is on the sea

Moves with the sea, not of will

On the sea, sea rules

It is again cloudy I have acepted that is the way here, or for us on this trip symbolic of our state. However as long as we can move there is hope of landing at some point, as daily we sail closer to a port. From time to time I hear a voice on the radio , but I know it is too far for us to reach. Once again closer to shore there will be the chance of fisherman contact, perhaps a town into a port.

Sun kisses the wave tops

Splashed Ocean spray drips from the sails

Life’s good at 6 knts

Just reduced sails. Seas getting rough. Not fun, but better now than too late. So much for the 5 knt avg. better slow, than… over!

Temp patch on starboard rudder not holding. Broke after a few hours. I tried another system of tying it with line

I have contacted the Coast Guard to advise of our situation.

We are in the system. I was surprised to reach them in San Diego. We are some 480 miles south of Ensenada still. Of course the CG has serious equipment.

CG wants us to abandon ship to send help! I said no!

…at least not yet are we ready to quit!

“Knocked down 7 stand 7″…his holiness the Dali Lama

Knocked down 13…?

I am not feeling strong.

Evening of the 13th day…

We are hove-to , large swells are starting, but the ZenCat feels fairly calm.

I watch the swells rolls under and past. The boat rolls sometime more than other and everything shakes and bangs…just like every other night.

The make shift patch on the starboard rudder fell apart today. I raised the unit back out of the water. Not having it even partly in use really effects the handling of the boat.

That and the talk with the CG left me really depressed. The Coastguard saves lives, not property. Seems there will be no way out of this with out losing the ZenCat.

We are about two weeks away from a port of sorts. The way things are going…I am not confident we will make it. When we wanted to go West to Hawaii, the wind blew from the west, when we want to go north back to Ensenada, the wind blows from the North. Our night drift takes us back over the ground we covered during the day. If by some chance we do make it east close to the port , we still have to go north, about 100 miles against no doubt head winds and opposite current. If there is no wind, then there is the motor which became questionable on our last use.

Even though I fight, I feel it is a lost battle and I just go through the wasted motions reguardlss of my efforts, i can not push the river. LZ is trying to be positive after I gave her a pep talk yesterday , and pep talk me. My brain understands, my spirit does not.

I wonder even if this writing will make it out of this, and we may have to give up everything but our lives.

I hope my friend with his cancer operation is fairing, better than we. Life is full of these yin moments in one form or another innit!

I am tired, I have not been meditating on a regular bases, trying to move forward under sail. I have still done it but not regular. I need to return that practice every morning before I try to go forward, it will center me at least for a while before the clouds of futility in fold me in darkness.

On the other hand…

Maybe things will improve tomorrow. The wind will shift to be helpful as will the waves…or a fishing crusier will come along an offer to tow us to port…or God will work some other miracle from the countless prayers submitted…or Jesus will return and bring peace on earth.

I need to not think and just go to sleep, pleanty of time to think tomorrow.

4:00 am day 14

Another big frustration is being unable to get weather. The ssb reciever works …sort of, and the ipad translater works but… The time that is listed for abroadcast , there is nothing!

Sigh.

At least I can see there is no thypoon. Otherwise basicly blind!

7:30 am.

25.10 n

120 w

Another day starts same pattern. LZ is sick, cloudy, big chop, fairly windy from NNW

We have water at least for another two weeks. The plan is to try for a lil port called turtle bay. That is a common stop for gas, not much else is there. But we can anchor and try for help. Maybe a bus or pay a driver to go to Ensenada. Once there I can locate someone to tow the Zenamaran back, the 250 miles I am pretty sure. I know a local guy named Chewy , I am sure he knows someone.

Turlebay is some 350 mile away. Seems much further…

I am sure everyone who is following or SPOT post knows somethg is wrong since we grow no closer to Hawaii. However unknown by them what is the problem or what to do, until I press SOS. I will not do that until ready to abandon ship, because that is what will happen when the CG comes. I have made a mental list of things I can carry away. The rest will be lost. I hope our iPads can made it.

It is a late start today, I am charging the battery some with the honda, so we can VHF talk if needed, also it gives LZ a chance to rest more. I did my morning Zazen to settle my spirit. Two more weeks, one way or another…yosh!

We should have been half way to Hawaii…Man plans, Heaven laughs.

10:30

We fought the waves this morning. Surf was high, winds moderate. It was a struggle with one rudder. I needed to use the motor to turn us East. After much discussion, heated and tense it was decided to stop trying to fight the Pacifc and go where it is sending, now back south. SouthEast really. There is a small anchorage and perhaps a resturant in what is left of a town called Santa Maria after the last Hurricane. It is reachable in the two weeks of supplies we have left. Once there??

The sailing is much easier going with the flow of Nature. This is truly following the Tao. We shall see how ths path turns out.

…Man plans, Heaven ordains.

Winds blow from the north

Adjusting sails to head South leaning East

Life smooths with wind behind

At least to be clear Santa Maria is the plan for now . Like every day the sea changes , we also have to change in order to survive ths. Depending on the angle we are forced to travel we may over shoot Santa Maria and need to continue to Cabo San Lucas. We are so tired! The broken rudder makes every mile a hardship, physically , mentally , spiritually!

8:00 pm

We are hove-to for the night. My concern this night is about the remaining rudder, will it last until we make land fall. A minimun two weeks away. If it breaks in route. End game! All is lost! We have among tears and saddness given thought to what we can carry on the rescue transport and started to assemble items of value. It is a sad night. Perhaps unneeded…perhaps not. I am tired and heartbroken at the thought of the end.

There is strong surge tonight it is most uncomfortable.

Day of the 15

Today the surge is better. We are able to make a little northeast head way. This is great! If the winds changes to westerly, it will be most helpful we can get a better heading northeast. The weather reports for SoCal say the winds will change to west over the next several days.

The daily bummer is that we have to make up lost grounds for the drift at night. This means the first 2 hours of travel is back tracking. I tighten up some bolts that had worked loose on the port rudder this morning. I hope it helps. We are still some 340 miles from turtle bay. Our destination changes with the wind and waves. Turtle bay is still our closest and best hope. Maybe we can hire a fisherman to tow us to Ensenada. It is only a couple of hundred miles north of Turtle Bay.

This seems a bit more hopful today with less violent waves and inching NE and closer to Turtle bay . The last 75-100 miles we should able to motor sail…if the engine will hold up. So we will get as close as possible. Also once in the 75-50 mile range maybe we can come across a local boat to help.

Trying to have some faith

Another day of mostly clouds and gray

Spots of sun break through.

Today is two weeks out here. I think I am adapting, or feeling like we can make it to port with even a small bit of luck. Little by little, very little the miles are ticking off. If the winds do change to from the west it will be a big blessing from the Tao. At any rate planning on another two weeks of being out here before sighting land, that will be a huge up lift.

I ran the motor today, it seems ok, but gets sluggish and changes tone. Maybe because of warming up or the different loads the ocean puts on it. I am not sure which, whatever I will save until, whenever needed, and sail on.

Sailing was somewhat pleasant today inspite of the circumstances. Nights we tend to get depressed. I am struggling still to get the weather reports. The SSB is not clear, the NOAA reports are for SoCal… I am tired.

I heard there is suppose to be west winds tomorrow in SoCal , I hope here as well, we can sail northward. LZ is struggling this is hard on her, me as well, since I put her in this place! So I have that on my head. She is determinded to save the boat, I am determined to save her, boats can be replaced.

The 16th day

Today is hard! LZ is freaking out! She had bad dreams and is on edge, that makes it even more harder. Emotions are tense. on top of everything else it is on my head I put her into this!

Streering is tiringly hard with one rudder to hold course in this chop. Again cloudy! Surge is ok, but chop is up! Deep inside hoping for something else to break, so we can give ths up. Nothing well of course, that would be the easy way out. This is not to be an easy trip.

As long as we can sail I have to keep going!

Double reef. Winds are not bad, but chop is rough. LZ wants to go slower. Bad chop, hard to streer, LZ freaking out. THat is the hardest part, makes me want to give up ! If I mention quiting, that freaks her more. I am between a rock and a hard place. I have made peace with failing, and losing the boat, it is after all just a thing. Her health and state of mind is more important. It may come down to me just saying , enough.

We exist on three levels

The Physical, the mental, the spiritual plane

All of mine are tired

I called the Coast Guard for weather. That was helpful. At least we are not in the dark about that and there is no weather danger. All wind still from the north. It is very very hard making any forward headway against a head wind in a CaT with a broken rudder on top of the already built in limits. We are 4 days away from NEEDiNG to go north!

The remaining rudder is deteriorating. I doubt it will make it to Turtle bay. When it goes, it is the end of Fuu’s Foolish Fantasy Folly.

Crews of dreams and hopes

Are too weak to push a river

Castles made of sand fall.

LZ just reminded me, the Zenamaran has been our home now almost two years. We lost our condo in the big crash, now we are going to lose another home.

Sadness pouring as a waterfall

Coldly crashing on my head and shoulders

Man plans and heaven ordains

Day 17

Another day of the same

Choppy ten miles lost, while we slept

Awake praying to go north

290 miles from nearest port

Double reefed we beat north …. a struggle

We’re a drop of water

I have removed one reef. There was not enough power to maintain course, trying to edge northward. Waves are calmer today but still the major movement is east. At least closer to land perhaps there is help. North seems so far away.

Such a huge ocean

So far from land we float

The smallness of the boat

Compares with the fleeting

Size of hope.

We are now 250 miles from a port. Progress is slow but we did ok today. Hove-to now, seas are rough! Do not know which is worse, days or nights. LZ screams softly with each large dip or wave slam, this has me concerned enough to hove-to until the sea calms. That and the fact the boat is hard to handle with one rudder under these conditions makes it wise and safe to heave-to for now.

Asked CG if we abandon how much can we take. He said generally it is up to the rescue diver. Generally one bag, I was told…

So tired!

Got an updated weather report from the Coast Guard, not great, could be worse, like the gales expected in SoCal. No gales, but not pleasant conditions, chop, some white caps, med winds. Wind from NW really need it from the West. Reviewed use of Sea anchor tonight just in case we need to settle in for a couple of days. Good to be ready, just in case. LZ is near panic most of the time. I feel bad putting her through this. She says she never wants to see the Ocean again. Understandable. I have had my fill of the Ocean life. But I still like sailing, even now there are some moments that are enjoyable…not many but some…brief ones. In sadness there lives some joy, all is not Yin all is not Yang…I am really tired and so ready for this to be over. If LZ says lets quit I would not argue. She has fear, I am just tired, frustrated, and disappointed!

Day 18 –

Choppy sea hard to streer

Sunshines, we wait, float…today is rest

Too weak to push Ocean

Sea anchor engaged, we float

White caps dance around boat and tease

Sunshine…sea does not care.

I got a weather update. Also was able to see the weather fax. The winds are not expected to be high, only breezy is the report, a few white caps, chop. However the concern is the wave height. 6-10 meters. When I first heard this yesterday I did not get the meters part and thought it was feet. 6-10 ft is not too bad, but 6 -10 meters is different…something to be concerned about.

I put out the sea anchor after spending about 30 min gettting it setup. The deploy was easy enough and it is holding. I have it rigged so I can adjust the angle. LZ says she can feel the difference in the ride. All is working. I have the rudders up, also the centerboards, and the sails down. The ride is quieter, still with some of the big waves it is unsettling, at best. Even though it is holding well, I have some concern about chaffing overnight. I have put hose wrapped in duct tape on the two rubbing areas of concern. Even though with the angle adjustment the are times it rubs at those spots. I am concerned about it lasting the night, much less a couple of days. For the moment it is not hitting those spots, but the way things happen is when we go to sleep it will and we will be adrift in high seas in the dark of the early morning. Really though adrift is not the true concern, because one line in the bridle will hold, however it wll place us abeam to the high waves. That is a big concern!

Conditions deteriorating, have contacted the Coast Guard. They are contacting Mexican Navy.

LZ Is in panic mode, she is suddering when trying to speak. I have set off EPRIB, since we have not heard back from the CG via radio, time to give it up. Tomorrow expecting 16 – 20 ft seas. No way we can handle that with a broken rudder and nerve wreaked crew. All we can do now is wait for the end of of this ill fated trip. So sad, such an end to a dream. Thankfully we are reasonablily safe and help is coming.

We motored all day. Very rough seas first several hours then calmed outafter about 6 hrs.

Cloudy all day,

Depressing. After seas calmed a bit of the sun came out, and saw two dolphins at play. They hung out near by, did a couple of amazing jumps. The water is a great shaphire blue! Auto pilot is a blessing! Musashi is on the job for the last couple of hours, I steered all morning, but did not need a lot of effort to stay on course. Not suppose to be any wind again tomorrow, but heading out about 100 miles off shore have been told I can pickup something. That would be wonderful to have 10 knts. Really really glad about the taking extra gas plan.

LZ slept alot over the last 24hr a little sea sick on and off. I slept not so much. Overall ok, we are moving slowly to Hawaii. Tomorrow we should hit some winds.

Musashi is working working working, I am so thankful it makes a big, huge difference not having to stay at the helm.

I brought a lot of books, reading will fill the days. Listening to Japanese at night, sometimes plan on playing one of the flutes after we can get steady wind and turn off the motor. The motor breaks the rhythm of the night.

A little bird flew on to the boat today. LZ was taking it’s picture as she got near it flew to another spot, one of which was the top of my head.

I just wish we had some sun and a bit more wind.

Changed course to 209, gave us some wind.

Day 3

30.34n x 117.83 W

12:30 am

Night sailing sucks. Can not see a bloody thing, inside the boat the noises are unnerving! The bumbs, thumps, bangs, knocks to the boat. I really dislike it!

I look forward to a lot of day sails amoung the islands of the inland sea.

There is solace in this 25 day or whatever it will be passage, this is the longest of the sets ahead. The first is always the hardest. Yosh!

Spirit is low moving slow

Waves banging on side of the boat

A different kind of stillness

Day 4

Fourth day on the water

Sky is still cloudy grey and gloomy

The Blessing is called…wind

28n x 119w bearing 240. 217 mile in 4 days

Our first full day under sail. light winds making about 3.5knt. Good thing this is not a race. It is peaceful, we have settled into the passage. Trying to be in the moment and not days aheads. Although calulations figure conservativly 22 days from now at this speed. Thankfully seas are somewhat calm today, not much banging from inside the cabin that is a disruption to my “Wa”.

Really feel like we are finally heading for Hawaii/Japan. I set in the new waypoints to the on-board GPS _/|\_

Night watch: first time seeing a few stars. Still cloudy, but I did see a few. Saw something like the milky way or maybe just some cloud in a stream. Got a really weird impression of being on a star ship sailing in space. The blackness of the water, the blackness of the sky, only a trail of stars lighting the way. Kind of cool, kind of scary.

Musashi san, cut off today, twice. I think the problem was it was over heating. I cleared some room around the mounting so he could breath more, that seems to have helped, he is running cooler now.

I saw a ship’s light tonight. It look like the red was on the left and the green on the right, but no clear in the middle as if going away from me. I turn on the radio but was not hailed, also turn on all my running lights instead of just the anchoring light. They moved off into the night. I was just thinking earlier that it is important not to slack off on the 20 min check arounds. A good reminder!

What are those phrosporus things in the water coming from under the boat?

Busy night, saw another boat, maybe the same one as earlier. This time came over and followed us for a while. Maybe the Mexican military, or the other side. After a while they pulled off and left us slowly go on. I was a bit nervous, you never know these days. More so at 3:00 a.m. and a boat follows you, with unconventional lighting.

Day 5

3.5 knt, cloudy still

I have concerns about Musashi san. His spirit is strong, but his flesh is weak. This is a ardurous task.

Sailing is like pushing hands, with God. Feeling the waves, blending, feeling your weakness, and it’s strengths, having to yeld against the power, moving when there is no resistance. Knowing you can never over coming the greater power with your own. The only hope survive is to blend and flow.

In the face of sameness

Each wave, crest, peak, bump is different

In sameness look deep… difference

In difference, look deep …sameness

In yin, lives yang, seek the middle

Sail’n harmony with waves…life

Today I hand steered, the progress is better, I can adjust the path as needed. Musashi san is not flexible and concerns me. Steering is training, less boring, faster passage I can flow with the wind. Musashi san is good for a break.

Top speed today, 6.1knts. It felt good, the Zenamaran felt stable. Fun at the wheel. I am getting better at steering by compass.

Encountered another ship, a cargo ship. German maybe. I pass on it’s stern, we were crossing paths. Size matters.

Musashi san continues to give me concern.

Ran the honda generator to bring up the iPads. The other ways are working, solar and invertor, but I wanted to test the other route and charge both pads, plus to laptop. LZ has been writting also. The lil honda, hmm needs a name maybe Takezo or Kanoshiki.

After the test run to French Poly, a re-set of mind and path was needed. I have been working on the boat issues. Overall which have been minor, but enough of them that it was better to deal with at this point, as mole hills, rather than let be become mountains. Since we have been back, the issues I have dealt with plus extras, just because. Starting the honda generator to test, taking Kannon out for a swim after using her to help do some work on the rudder. It was making too much noise. Turns out nothing is wrong, but I should make it fit better to keep it in the nothing wrong mode. Which is always a good thing, but even more so when crossing the Pacific !

We went to a beach party drum Jam last night it was put on by the local marina folks. Fun fun, I got to sit on a loaner durm and got my musician fix. It has been a long time to play with others Chi (energy)

We went into town today. We went to get legal again. Also stopped at a place we really like for marlin burritos. Oishii! It was our last meal there. We went last week before we left but they were out of marlin. Bummer. So now we made up for it and are done.

Went back to training today. I noticed that were the beach drum party was, was right next to my Zen stone Zone sculpture center.

So I went back to practicing again, training mind, body and spirit for the next leg. I am pleased have been be able to reconstruct my Chen Tai Chi form. If it has improved is unknown, but at least I have it mostly all logged in my mind. The details I can work out, but the basic form is there.

It is nice to get my second meditation in after my motion Zen practice. I sit at times and watch the ocean, sometimes just listen and feeling. I can tell the different energy of the day from the sound and motion of the waves. It is an interesting experience and different from being on the ocean, up close and personal. Which is so different when your life is on the line. Makes one understand the connection, with Chan and Kung Fu from the view point of old times of the Shaolin temple. Really being in the moment, yet calm, and aware of face of death, and the smell it’s breath in your nose.

I also notice that if I leave my Zen stone sculptures after a day or two someone takes them apart. I did a test an put a couple in out of the way places, they were also taken apart when I went back. I am going to think that someone is trying to leave the area natural. Yet it is not natural, it is a formed place, so natural is not the correct word. You get my meaning though right.?!

We have re-set our travel plan. French Poly has been aborted. It is too late in the season. we would have no time to really visit. We are back to the original plan of Hawaii, then Marshall islands. LZ has turned up some very interesting information about the Marshall island, especially the island of Majuro. Most of the population is from African slaves mix with Polynesian. Which would explain why the US was un-concerned about using their islands to test atomic bombs. Because of that there is a deep resentment for America and a deep felt connection with Japan who has been a supporting “mentor” for them, and former territory holder.. They have a deep connection and respect with/for Japan. Majuro also has a very evolved Ecological program with one of the world’s last remaining whole coral reef systems. It should be an interesting place for us. LZ formally disappointed about aborting French Poly is very excited about Majuro which is also a major scuba diving area. It is not really a Blasian culture but maybe we will feel very comfortable there, more so than Hawaii.

So tomorrow is the big re-set, we are heading to Hawaii. Somewhat nervous but feel better about it than the South Pacific. Maybe the test run helped prepare my mind. like knowing the average wave height will not be 3-4 ft, but 8-9 ft, also knowing the Zenmaran can deal with it, when sailed correctly. Anyway little by little things add up. The trip should be from 22- 30 days. I am hoping for on the low side, but ready for the high side.

So we are off again, this time a big challenge, do-able, but big for us…next post from Hawaii…yosh!