Saturday, 13 August 2011

I am at a critical part of my long term rehab and therapy with John. I told him yesterday that I am aware how lucky I am not have had 19 months of hard core schema therapy on the NHS. I have built in values that make me appreciate this fully. I am different now....I am not the broken person who walked into Crisis 22 months ago.

I have also been part of a group that investigates the complexes of emotions....but I have been even luckier having been invited to a group that investigates Mindfulness....meditation. It has yielded good results in helping chronic depression....it is now on the list of repairs for depression by NICE.

I am starting to try it but concentration is one of the hardest things for me so I will have to work harder.

I am fascinated by two facts....a Buddhist Monk was put through an MIR scan and his brain make up was different to the average.....but so was a London Taxi Drivers....how mad is that?

Knowing what fucked my head up as a kid is something that I can now get over....having the tools etc kind of helps. I have also been allowed to embrace who I am....I sold him(me) down river slightly...victim of a working class stereotype....I like the things I like and it is ok to be different....as for my sexuality, I don't give a fuck what anyone says about it anymore.....I am who I am.....