The Problem with Statements Like
"No <party> candidate has won the election without <state>"
or
"No President has been reelected under <circumstances>"
[[Each panel is a variation on the others, with the date in a small box at the top left, a stick figure speaking the line in the main panel, and the concluding sentence underneath.]]
1788
No one has been elected President before.
but Washington was.
1792
No incumbent has ever been selected.
until Washington.
1796
No one without false teeth has become President.
but Adams did.
1800
No challenger has beaten an incumbent.
but Jefferson did.
1804
No incumbent has beaten a challenger.
until Jefferson.
1808
No congressman has ever become President.
until Madison.
1812
No one can win without New York.
but Madison did.
1816
No candidate who doesn't wear a wig can get elected.
until Monroe was.
1820
No one who wears pants instead of breeches can be reelected.
but Monroe was.
1824
No one has ever won without a popular majority.
J.Q. Adams did.
1828
Only people from Massachusetts and Virginia can win.
until Jackson did.
1832
The only Presidents who get reelected are Virginians.
until Jackson.
1836
New Yorkers always lose.
until Van Buren.
1840
No one over 65 has won the Presidency.
until Harrison did.
1844
No one who's lost his home state has won.
but Polk did.
1848
The Democrats don't lose when they win Pennsylvania.
but they did in 1848.
1852
New England Democrats can't win.
until Pierce did.
1856
No one can become President without getting married.
until Buchanan did.
1860
No one over 6'5" can get elected.
until Lincoln.
1864
No one with a beard has been reelected.
but Lincoln was.
1868
No one can be President if their parents are alive.
until Grant.
1872
No one with a beard has been reelected in peacetime.
until Grant was.
1876
No one can win a majority of the popular vote and still lose.
Tilden did.
1880
As goes California, so goes the nation.
until it went Hancock.
1884
Candidates named 'James' can't lose.
until James Blaine.
1888
No sitting President has been beaten since the Civil War.
Cleveland was.
1892
No former President has been elected.
until Cleveland.
1896
Tall Midwesterners are unbeatable.
Bryan wasn't.
1900
No Republican shorter than 5'8" has been reelected.
until McKinley was.
1904
No one under 45 has been elected.
Roosevelt was.
1908
No Republican who hasn't served in the military has won.
until Taft.
1912
After Lincoln beat the Deocrats while sporting a beard with no mustache, the only Democrats who can win have a mustache with no beard.
Wilson had neither.
1916
No Democrat has won without Indiana.
Wilson did.
1920
No incumbent senator has won.
until Harding.
1924
No one with two Cs in their name has become President.
until Calvin Coolidge.
1928
No one who got ten million votes has lost.
until Al Smith.
1932
No Democrat has won since women secured the right to vote.
until FDR did.
1936
No President's been reelected with double-digit unemployment.
until FDR was.
1940
No one has won a third term.
until FDR did.
1944
No Democrat has won during wartime.
until FDR did.
1948
Democrats can't win without Alabama.
Truman did.
1952
No Republican has won without winning the House or Senate.
Eisenhower did.
1956
No Republican has won without Missouri.
until Eisenhower.
1960
Republicans without facial hare are unbeatable.
Kennedy beat Nixon.
1964
No Democrat has won without Georgia.
Johnson did.
1968
No Republican Vice President has risen to the Presidency through an election.
until Nixon.
1972
No wartime candidate has won without Massachusetts.
until Nixon did.
1976
No one who lost New Mexico has won.
but Carter did.
1980
No one has been elected President after a divorce.
until Reagan was.
1984
No left-handed President has been reelected.
until Reagan was.
1988
No Democrat who has won Wisconsin (without being from there) has lost.
until Dukakis did.
1992
No Democrat has won without a majority of the Catholic vote.
until Clinton did.
1996
No Dem. incumbent without combat experience has beaten someone whose first name is worth more in Scrabble.
until Bill beat Bob.
2000
No Republican has won without Vermont.
until Bush did.
2004
No Republican without combat experience has beaten someone two inches taller.
until Bush did.
2008
No Democrat can win without Missouri.
until Obama did.
[[The next two panels share a date and ending caption.]]
2012
Panel 1: Alliterative tickets (e.g. Romney
Ryan) are undefeated.
Panel 2: No nominee whose first name contains a "K" has lost.
Which streak will break?
{{Title text: No white guy who's been mentioned on Twitter has gone on to win.}}

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

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