Archives

Washington Redskins to Change Name to Washington Racists

September 14, 2013

In move sure to placate angry American Indians all over the world, the Washington Redskins today announced they would be changing their name to the Washington Racists.

“Our team, our history, has a long since been founded in racism,” team spokesman Whitey McWhitester White. “Look, it’s simple. We were originally racists towards the American Indians. In the 1960’s we were the last team to integrate, proving we were racists towards the blacks. Now, in 2013, we want to show we’re racist to everyone. Thus proving that we are racists to no one. We, equally from all of you, just want your money. That’s logic.”

When asked how the team would handle changing all of their merchandize from a decapitated head of an American Indian, Mr. White had to his to say, “We’re going to keep it. As a symbol of where we came from and where we are going.Plus, it’s too expensive to change it. So tough.”

ACLU released this statement following the announcement, “At least they are being honest.”

Long time fan and hot dog eating champion Skinny Jake had this to say, “As long as I can eat a twelve dollar hot dog, drink a ten dollar beer, sit in two hours of traffic and watch them lose every week, i’m happy.”

And good for you! We wish the Redskins, make that the Racists, all the best!

This entry was posted on September 14, 2013 at 4:52 pm and is filed under Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.