So I had the opportunity to view an advanced screening of Never Back Down tonight, two weeks before it hits theaters nationwide. Those of you who read my Never Back Down preview know that I didn’t have very high hopes for this flick. Here are the general assumptions I made about this movie one month ago:

It looks like they took the script from “The Fast And The Furious”, removed all references to cars, and plugged in references to fighting. A bunch of privileged white kids who are bored of spending daddy’s money start pretending they’re Tito Ortiz to impress their girlfriends.

The sad part is I was absolutely right.

This movie is downright horrible, it’s “what you see is what you get” at it’s finest. There are no special twists, there is no character depth, there is no suspense, this film has absolutely no redeeming qualities. I know what you’re thinking… “well the action from the fight scenes should keep me entertained, and I’m SURE there will be hot chicks”. Keep dreaming buddy, the action is mediocre, and there are actually more half naked sweaty men than there are women.

The entire film can be summed up in two or three sentences at the most. Guy moves to new town, guy likes girl, girl’s boyfriend beats up guy, guy spends rest of film training to beat up boyfriend and get girl. The end.

Something else that simultaneously made me laugh and shake my head at the same time, was the first visual of a black person in the movie is a shot of some brotha breakdancing surrounded by rich white kids cheering him on. How cliche can you get?

I can just see the director sitting at the monitor with a puzzled look on his face. “Something’s missing, the first five minutes of this film just don’t seem right….I GOT IT… where’s the dancing colored guy??. Get me Jamal on the phone”

Hardcore MMA fans will detest this movie even more than I do. The fight scenes are like UFC on training wheels, I love how they call out each move as the characters are performing them. “Hey, thats a rear naked choke!!!!…. wow he has him in an arm bar… TAP OUT BRO!!!”

I advise you to never see this film. Banish it from the earth. We should collect all film reels and bury them in obscurity alongside Flavor Flav’s dignity and Paris Hilton’s nobel peace prize.

The Important Stuff

How good on a scale of 1-10? – 3
Are the best parts of the movie in the commercial? – there are no best parts to this movie
Any female nudity? – Nope.
Any killing/gruesome murders? Nope

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