Q. I THINK my 14-year-old daughter has been smoking cannabis with her friends. My neighbour told me this has been happening near where we live but I really don’t think she is the type of girl to be involved with drugs. I have tried to talk to her about it but she denied everything and now I am not sure whether I can trust her to go out.

A. It is really important for you to be able to fully establish the facts about what is going on and the only way to do this is by spending some quality time with your daughter. Talk through what your fears are and why it is really important for you to continue to trust her.

It can be very difficult to determine what the truth of the matter is, especially if you have third-hand information. It may well be the case that your daughter is telling you the truth, that she is not smoking or taking drugs, but that others may be and she does not want to be seen as the grass.

Educating children and young people from an early age about substance misuse is essential. Young people should be made aware of the massive destructive effects taking drugs and underage drinking can have.

If you really do think your daughter may be smoking cannabis and she is denying it, then it is important that you help her change her behaviour. Cannabis can have major impacts on any fourteen year old, it is really important for you to try to get your daughter to see what damage she may be doing to her body.

Try not to discuss her friends - as she may not like you being negative about them.

Make sure you are aware of where she is going, who with and what time they will get back and try to limit her opportunities to ‘hang around’ on evenings and weekends. Perhaps making more time within the family may help with the communication and trust building between you.

If you do think your daughter has been taking drugs, it is important you seek professional support and help through her school or through your GP.

Parents' panel

Jacqueline Owens, from Middlesbrough, a dinner lady, is married to Craig and has two daughters, Rebecca, 14, and Natasha, eight.

“THIS is a tough one. I think you’ve got to sit her down and have a really good talk to her to try to find out as much as you can about what has been happening.

“She’s at that age where she may well have fallen in with a new group of friends who are influencing what she does.

“You need to make her aware of the long-term risks and dangers of drugs and how smoking cannabis can lead to worse drugs.

“If she has denied it, the thing is you are going to have to have concrete proof of it for yourself before you can take action like grounding her.

“I would definitely have a good talk to her if I were you.”

MICHELLE Povey, from Acklam, is married to Craig and has two children, Bradley, five, and Erin, two. She works in a bank and also runs her own Internet business, Wigs Ahead.

“OBVIOUSLY, someone here isn’t telling the truth. Your neighbour said she saw her; your daughter says she didn’t do it. I think you need to speak to your neighbour again before confronting your daughter to make sure that she actually did see her smoking cannabis.

“Maybe she saw her with a group of friends and presumed she was, or maybe she was smoking a cigarette and the situation was blown out of proportion. Once you have spoken to your neighbour and you are confident that your daughter was doing this, then you need to speak to her again.

“Your daughter needs to be aware of the dangers of smoking drugs and what it can lead to - maybe get some leaflets from your GP showing the facts.

“If your daughter is taking drugs, it could be because she is experimenting or peer pressure has forced her to try it out and she may not know the real dangers.

“It might be an idea to speak to the school and her teacher to see if they have noticed anything different about her behaviour. They also may be able to help tackle the problem, if there is one.

“Your daughter will no doubt deny it. She may feel under pressure from peers, but I am confident that, if you tackle it head on with facts and advice and tell her you are there to support her no matter what, the situation will be resolved before it gets more serious.”