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Movember 9th, 2012

As of last night, I have resorted to whoring myself out for donations. For $5 I will put whatever you want me to on my status. It can be on either Facebook, Google+, or Twitter, or all of them if the price is right.. I will leave it there for at least an hour, and if you put it in quotes, I will do it word for word, or maybe you just want me to write down how I feel about you, like Sandra did this morning. Last night, Nancy had me write a post in Shakespearean English, but I’m afraid it fell short. It’s been 20 years since I have actually read The Merchant of Venice, and it was hard remembering the precise words that he used. Irania and Kathy came in late, so I’ll accomodate them later today, I promised Sandra until noon, and then it’s game on.

I’m telling you, folks, it’s warmed my heart with the response we’ve gotten so far, and I want to thank you for that. The people who have donated, the people who will donate, and the people who want to donate, but just can’t for whatever reason. You are all important, and without you reading this, and any other cancer awareness articles, the word doesn’t spread. Sure funds are great, but awareness is key. When you’re aware, you can be proactive.

Gently grab hold of your nuts and give them a good, thorough grope. Get some good lube, and an even better friend, and have yourself an amateur prostate exam/milking. Come on, it can’t be that hard. I went to a little lecture at Sexapalooza last year, and she said that if you have your prostate milked on a regular basis, you will never have to worry about prostate cancer. I’m still a little sheepish, but at least I know I should be doing it.

Notice the hand position for a nice ball rub while he’s in there? Nothing like making things awkward.

Or you can donate, and go to your doctor for an annual check-up. I try to talk them into a general anesthetic every time, but to no avail. Maybe next time I’ll try getting drunk before going in.

What? He’s got huge hands.

We’ve been really lucky, this year for donors, as I mentioned before. Really lucky. I’m going to list the ones I can find so far.

This really doesn’t work without you guys, and we want you to know that we appreciate your support and friendship, every day.

Now, for a favour. I would like to take the whole team (well, whomever wants to go), and their spouses, to the Movember Gala Parte at Kool Haus in Toronto. For every $100 that a person raises, they get a free ticket. The favour I would like is that if you were going to donate to me anyhow, if you could please give it to a team member who hasn’t reached the $100 yet? (But not Sean Blackler, because he is pretty lame as a Mobro. He doesn’t even know he’s on it, I don’t think.) I will still honour my above offer, but you will just have to send me a message to tell me what you want written on the status. Maybe these folks don’t want to go to the party, but I’m sure I could talk Gadget into a party at a Toronto nightclub. Think of the photos we could get there.

Now, as you know, I don’t generally post on the weekends, but Remembrance Day is just around the corner, so I will be posting then. I did a post last year about my Great-Grandfather, that is one of my favourites. You can find it here.

Remembrance Day, for me, is the most important day of the year, so I feel it is only right to remember it, with some stories about sacrifice. I hope I can come up with something good this year. Not good, like it will win awards, but good like I will look back and read it with a tear in my eye and a good feeling in my heart. Those are stories I love to write, because I’m always looking for a reason to be introspective. Anyway, I hope that you will stop in on Sunday to read it, and maybe do a little bit of soul searching of your own. What does Remembrance Day mean to you? Other than just saying freedom, that is. Did your Grandpa, or Grandma, serve in the Forces? Did they go overseas, or maybe make ammunition in the Depot? I’d love to hear any stories that you have about it. If you don’t feel like typing, we could Skype, or better yet, go for a coffee.

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Alrighty, I’m leaving you with something I found on my timeline from my first year of Facebook. Keep in mind that this isn’t a joke. It’s a serious learning video that a church in the US made to teach kids that society is becoming more and more apathetic towards Christianity. I think it’s funny as hell, and hope that you will enjoy it too. Please don’t smite me if you really exist, God. You know I’m just teasing you. 😉