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Sunday, January 29, 2012

On December 30th I posted about a miracle for a family member... this is truly a touching story. If you have not read it, go back to December 30th and read it - it's titled "Rayven's Miracle". God is going to do mighty things in 2012!!

I wanted to give you an update on this story. I had found a foundation in houston that would cover rayvens eye surgery but they required a letter of denial from the tx chips program( state funded health insurance ) and our tax forms and such which will have taken a couple of months to round up. Well in order to get a letter of denial, I had to re-apply. Our income far exceeds their annual limit of $27,000 so I was just expecting a denial letter. I disclosed all of our income completely and made it clear that we exceeded their limit in a letter that I wrote explaining exactly what I needed. Well I know the good Lord was on their approval board that day when they reviewed her application because they approved it in spite of our income and her coverage starts on march 1, 2012. And just to add another blessing to that, we had gotten a recommendation from a pastor at a local church that had this same surgery done on their daughter in houston with the same foundation that was going to cover it, and this same recommended surgeon accepts chips and has scheduled her first appointment for march 6. My God is sooooooooo wonderful. This has cut a few months off of our prep time. Thank the Lord. I just had to share it with you. I love yall. Amanda.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

What an amazing day.... so emotional and mostly because today marked a milestone for us. If you would have asked us a few years ago if we could have imagined being here we would have both been skeptical and probably said no. But today just gets us one step closer to bringing our dreams to a reality! It was funny, we were fine (all giggles and smiles) until we walked into the hospital and then it hit us both and we teared up thinking about just how close we really are.

I promised my sisters that I would send them pictures of our belly progress but today I thought we'd add some fun to it and include one of Daddy Ryan too... he's pretty proud of his belly!!

We are also looking forward to seeing a lot of our family and friends that will be in for the baby shower this weekend. My sweet (and amazingly creative) friend Vicki will be making the cakes and goodies for the shower and you will not want to miss that!! We stopped in to see her today so she could rub the belly too... and of course pick up some goodies... yummy! Now back to finishing homework for my last class (for a while anyway).... :))

As always, we'll continue to keep you updated as we know more, and all we ask is that you please continue to keep us in your prayers.

"We prayed for this child and the Lord has granted us what we asked of Him" (1 Samuel 1:27)

Thursday, January 26, 2012

This is just a quick update from the Bio-Physical Sonogram today and everything went awesome! We got to see the girls and it literally made our day. Alexis' heart-rate was 148bpm, she was a little wiggle worm and she showed her personality today. I'm attaching a picture and going to try and attach a video clip so hopefully it comes through. You can see in the video she's moving her mouth and it appears she's already talking to herself.... clearly a definite sign that she's my daughter! (big smiles) We won't receive her results from the sonogram today until next week but I'm confident they will be perfect!

For me, the value of these trials for our family is to remember that nothing is certain, never take anything for granted, and know that we are blessed even when we feel like we're not. God is so good to us and I cannot imagine being anywhere other than right here in "His Will!"

As always, we'll continue to keep you updated as we know more, and all we ask is that you please continue to keep us in your prayers.

"We prayed for this child and the Lord has granted us what we asked of Him" (1 Samuel 1:27)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

We had another doctor's appointment yesterday (Jan. 23rd). It was with our OB. We got to hear Alexis' heart beat and it was strong at 150bpm. We start weekly bio-physical sonograms. These are to evaluate Baby Alexis and monitor her closely to ensure she is not under any undue stress. The biophysical profile combines an ultrasound evaluation with a nonstress test (NST) and is intended to determine fetal health during the third trimester. This test is typically performed if there is a question about fetal health and well being resulting from either an examination, maternal/fetal symptoms, or if the pregnancy is considered high risk. Since Bridgette has passed away this means our pregnancy is definitely high risk so we will be monitored very closely from here on out. The Biophysical scan measures breathing, movement, muscle tone, heart rate, and amniotic fluid. The total score will help decide the overall health and well being of our baby girl and help our doctor determine if our baby should be born sooner than planned. That may be too much information but I know several of you will have the same questions we did so I thought I would just share it with everyone. :)

Overall, I feel good. Alexis is doing great and we're excited to get her here. Bridgette is still sitting there small and pretty.... :) And Ryan is the glue that is holding us all together! (big smiles) Other than that we don't really have anything new to report.

As always, we'll continue to keep you updated as we know more, and all we ask is that you please continue to keep us in your prayers.

"We prayed for this child and the Lord has granted us what we asked of Him" (1 Samuel 1:27)

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I have no clue what I was thinking, or how it even happened, but we managed to leave the appointment today without one single picture; thus the reason for the generic picture for the blog. (Geeze!) Oh well, the good thing is that Baby Alexis is doing well and has gained another 5 oz in just a week and had a healthy heart beat!! (Thank God) The sonograms are getting fun now because they are showing her growing and in full view - today her little knees were closed (great sign hopefully she'll be a modest one) (big smile). She's absolutely beautiful!

Our little Bridgette (who is also very beautiful) has moved to the side a bit to give Alexis more room to grow. The fetal specialist says everything looks great (considering the circumstances). We also talked more about future appointments and on-going monitoring & testing to ensure that Alexis and I will maintain a healthy pregnancy throughout the duration. So far we're both doing great! I'm tired but I think a lot of that is simply mental exhaustion. We also discussed the fact that typically with twins (even with one deceased) the body will more than likely go into early labor and he said he would not be surprised if we went as early as 34 or 35 weeks. That's just 6 weeks away... kind of scary yet exciting all the same. We'll know more at our next appointment with the OB/Gyn on Monday - but we literally are just day-by-day on the due date. Naturally, we want to get to at least 37 weeks but as of tomorrow Alexis could survive outside of the womb if she had to. The good news is that the baby shower is scheduled for Feb 4th - and I'm praying they don't have it without me! :) But we do have her room ready for her arrival so we're ready whenever she is.

As always, we'll continue to keep you updated as we know more, and all we ask is that you please continue to keep us in your prayers.

"We prayed for this child and the Lord has granted us what we asked of Him" (1 Samuel 1:27)

Thursday, January 12, 2012

We did not have a scheduled appointment today but I was experiencing braxton hicks contractions and a little bit of swelling in my stomach (yes, more than just being pregnant). So we went in to see the fetal specialist, just to be on the safe side, and received good news. Alexis is growing and gained 2 ozs in a week and had a healthy heart rate.

It's going to be bitter-sweet with all appointments from here on out considering we have to see Baby Bridgette just to make sure nothing is changing and creating health issues for me or Alexis. On the other hand, it is such a sweet relief to see our sweet Alexis moving, heart pumping (today was 148bpm), little legs kicking and today she was pointing her finger (that is the picture). It may be a little hard to see, but our sono tech today was in rare form and even put a little comment tag on the picture and we thought you'd like to see it too.

I have to be honest - it's so amazing to think that after 15 years of desiring to be a mom (parents) & have a baby that we're actually so close...yet feel so far away. We're 27 weeks tomorrow and our goal is to make it to 37 weeks. If you have never been where we are it is so hard to explain; however, if you have been where we are then you will fully understand when I say "my heart is full - yet so empty". What I mean is my heart is so full knowing that Alexis is doing good and growing and yet my heart feels so empty seeing Baby Bridgette lay there so lifeless when she was the life of the sonograms - always moving and giving us the best profile shots. One thing I can tell you - she gave us so much joy even tough she never even made it to our arms. One thing I can assure you, I am so thankful that Jesus never leaves us nor forsakes us.... we never have to walk this journey alone! (Deuteronomy 31:6)

We absolutely cannot wait to meet our little Alexis and hold her tight... Ryan & I have a joke that we'll be surprised if she learns to walk by age 5 because we'll never want to put her down... (big smile).

Our next appointment is next week - we'll continue to keep you updated... in the meantime, all we ask is that you please continue to keep us all in your prayers. As my dear friend Cindy always says.... Eyes on Jesus!

"We prayed for this child and the Lord has granted us what we asked of Him" (1 Samuel 1:27)

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The last couple of days have been extremely tough... but today was exceptionally tough. I woke with a sickening feeling that something was wrong with Alexis and my heart was aching as I could not feel her move. I know it's nothing more than the devil working on my mind and wrenching at my heart but honestly some days are just simply tougher than others. I immediately reached out to a dear friend from church and requested that she please pray for me and pray that God would give me peace of mind and a rest beyond measure. I know that I am going to have to rely solely on God for peace during this time and that's what I'm going to do. Another friend gave me a great scripture last night... Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth (Psalm 46:10).

Today I went in to see the nurse so she could do a fetal heart rate check (just for peace of mind) and Alexis' heart rate was 152bpm. Praise God!

I am writing about my day so you know that it is okay to be sad, scared, and to be human - and that's what I'm doing - however, what I'm not going to do is let the devil win! This is a battle that we will be victorious over! I'm just so glad to know that the good Lord has armed us with a loving family, a wonderful church family, and awesome friends to help us through this trying time. I'm on a serious count-down until week 37 when we can bring our baby girl (Alexis) home and we can properly give Bridgette the farewell she deserves!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5)

Sunday, January 8, 2012

One more time God has delivered the hurt and pain through the words of a song... although it doesn't take it all away it certainly reminds us that if we'll just keep our eyes on Jesus we'll never face anything alone... you may not understand why these songs are so important to us but until you've walked a mile in our shoes you'll never understand the confusion and hurt we feel so we are simply seeking God and trusting that our Lord will take care of us & regardless we will praise Him!! My prayer is that this will touch your life just as it has ours and to remember that sometimes miracles are hidden in the hurts even when we cannot see it - we know in our hearts that they're there!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Thank you Lord for not ever forsaking me - even when I'm not worthy, you still come through! We will praise you in everything you give us and be joyful & glad in it!! Even when our hurts pass our understanding I will forever trust you!! Amen!!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

This is one of the hardest things I've had to do is write about the loss of yet another baby. We found out yesterday at our doctor's appointment that Bridgette (baby B) has passed away. Even though we are still in shock and do not fully understand we know that she's in God's hands now and He will take care of everything. It doesn't mean we are not hurting, actually we are heart-broken; but it means that we still have our faith and trust in God and will rely on him to see us through.

We really are not sure what the next steps are as we're just muddling through right now and taking it day-by-day; but we do know that we have a life to celebrate in the birth of Alexis and we will mourn the loss of Bridgette at the same time. Many have asked what they can do and more than anything we simply ask that you please keep us in your prayers. We'll keep you updated with details as we get closer for anyone that wants to be there with us.

Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you. John 16:22

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About Me

Hi! Thank you for visiting my profile. I may not be much to some but to Jesus I am somebody special! I am blessed with a loving family and the agility and ability to do what I love, barrel racing and writing. I am still in search of who God wants me to be. I'm far from perfect, but I'll always try to be and do better than the day before. I am a Christian, wife, daughter, sister, aunt and hopefully in Gods time will be a mother. Until then, I'll keep trusting God has a bigger plan and I'll keep seeking his direction! As of March 8, 2012 - God answered my prayers (after 18 years of marriage)& gave me 2 beautiful daughters. One resides in Heaven (Bridgette Dean) and the other (Alexis Elaine) here on earth with her Mommy & Daddy. Thank you Lord for your continued blessings!