I regret little, but in looking back I am disappointed at my not participating in a reflection project for 2011. That year was so excruciating and painful and joyful and liberating and full that it is very much a blur of change. I should have recorded some part of it - though a peek into my December Daily 2011 will certainly give an indication to why the project did not get completed!

I enjoyed participating in reverb10 which resulted in a beautiful blog, a wonderful keepsake album and a collection of incredible memories - fully recorded. For 2010, I will always remember where I was and where I was planning on going. I want to go through that same exercise again for 2012. This past year was equally worth remembering.

Not that I have an abundance of time this year, but I do have a great desire, so that will have to do! I have curated a number of prompts from many resources. Those I've selected can be found below as well as a few of my own, they have each been attributed as best I can.

30 December 2012

day twenty six | return

prompt: return

Is there at time to which you would like to return? Describe it: the sights, sounds, smells, who was there, what was going on. Why would you like to return?

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Some
time ago, I don't even remember when, I lost my ability to dream. As a long-time
avid dreamer - day and night - it was a loss I mourned and then, over time, forgot.
At the beginning of December I woke, from a dream. A lovely dream. I
have had a dream every night - and day - since. It has been a lovely
change. I hope it never goes away again.

I would like to go back to a time when I was filled with dreams that fueled my creativity and desire to read great stories, watch great stories and tell great stories.

The last time I remember an active imagination and creative energy being a fully present part of my life I was in my teens, during my years at boarding school and then and living away at university. It felt like half of my brain was always somewhere else thinking about things that weren't there. It was lovely. The violent and cruel end to my university career and my unwelcome return home was like a metaphorical bucket of cold water thrown upon me and I became fully grounded in reality. The mean of it all. I could no longer live in my world of romance and adventure. I had to focus and get with the program, buckling down and making a life for myself - without a safety net.

The dreams took longer to fade away.

I suppose I was resigned to their inevitable absence and didn't even notice when they stopped. Their return is a delightful surprise and one I consider with reverence and respect. They are not the same as they were before, these dreams are more sophisticated in their characters, their subjects and settings are themes that can be enlightening and disturbing. I wake each morning trying to grasp the last wisps of faces and stories, the way they make me feel stays with me all day.

I know I'm finally returning to a time and place where I am comfortable in my life so that I can now be comfortable in my dreams.

A place lost is now found. And I never even remembered it being left behind. I am so happy for it's return.