(Picture by Fox_Fotography!!!!)
Leather Bear Tails is about the leather journey of my slave and I. It deals with all parts of the leather and BDSM experience from safety to predators, to skills, and all of the lovely mistakes that she and I make along the way!!
Also!! I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it can be found for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+usI am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information! The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:

aelmailing@gmail.com

If you are interested in active online community please find:

Fetlife.com

Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Saturday, June 18, 2016

The road seems too long

I don’t know how to talk about this. I don’t know how to
feel. When it first happened my very advanced slave was in shock, but quickly
regained her emotional side and she started to grieve. I, on the other hand,
ignored it, stuffed it. And sure as shit like clockwork my anger, fear, and pain
started coming out in inappropriate ways.

I was angry at work for no reason, frustrated
for nothing, I was sullen and withdrawn and finally yesterday the real anger
came to the surface. I was snappish and dark. I am not like my slave in many ways,
one of which is that she is in touch with how she feels. For me, when it is too
deep, too painful- I can’t always deal right away.

So this is how I am trying to deal
with how I am not letting myself feel --- through this- through
writing.

I don’t know how successful I will be.

The first thing that I think is that the shootings at Pulse in
Orlando, a club that not only opened when we were there, but we had gone to, makes me feel so deeply isolated from the rest
of the world. It is the reminder of how
hated my slave and I are, how different we are, and will always be.

The false sense of safety is shattered. I have not wanted my
slave to go out. To be a target.

I know that the straights are really trying to be allies. I
know you are. So please don’t take what
I am writing the wrong way. Because this
isn’t about you- although your allegiance with me, with us, has enriched our lives
beyond measure.

The queer leadership in Albuquerque has been phenomenal. They
have been putting on dances and vigils since it happened. They have show how we
can still come together.

Tonight is the AEL play party. I don’t know how am going to keep
it together. Being around people.

I’m feeling like I
want to stay at home, love on my horses, keep my wife and slave safe and try to not
feel too
much.

Pulse opened in 2004. My slave and I were in Florida at
the time. I remember Pulse distinctly because
the club we all went to “Faces” ( which was where my slave and I met)
was concerned about losing business to the new,
young, and instantly popular hangout. We went to Pulse together and
sometimes my slave went without me. It
was a huge space, well taken care of and owned by a woman who had lost her bother
a decade earlier to AIDS.

I am struggling dealing with not feeling safe, and being
easily triggered, and easily upset.

I spent time with the horses today. Grooming them, talking,
it helped.

Tonight at AEL will help to, in its own way.

I am sorry that I am not more- together- literate- or intentional
with what I am saying.

I think that what I
am trying to say most of all is as
much as violence is a daily part of
being gay, I thought that after we got
the federal right to marry, that
something would have changed.

About Me

I am a Master identified lesbian. My slave and I have been together in in a 24/7 dynamic for 14years. This shows how patient she really is... I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us." It is available here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
I love discussing M/s in real life terms, not just the ones put out there by unrealistic, holier then thou, better then everyone people. We are real people living a real life, it involves mistakes, miscommunication, undone chores, and the experiment gone wrong. ie... playing with emergency candle wax. And neither I nor she will put out there that our flawed lives are any better then anyone else's!!!