i'm sick today! tear tear* i don't like being sick! i'm missing too much school! wahhhh! hmm...my mommy has what i got and she's the one that gave it too me...but she did say that if i was feeling better i could got to the football game which is awesome, i hope i'm feeling better. so yeah....i really have been out of the loop lately so what's going on with everybody? anyone going to homecoming? anyone planning on killing anyone(i'll help), anyone doing anything interesting? if not, comment anyway to tell me how you've been, k? good
love yas
Pamela

I'm gonna...gonna..gonna be an aunt...again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guess what?!!!!!??? I'm gonna be an aunt....again!!! this is number 3 for my brother jake and sister in law tania!! woot woot! she's due in april and they don't know what it is yet but...and this is a big but (just like mine, lol) they're going to need a babysitter next summer...and they live all the way in germany!! and they asked me if i wanted to babysit jaden, gabriella, and the new one over the summer and that they'd pay for airfare and like $200 a week, but i'll lower that cuz it's too much to be paying the little sister. but yeah! i'm like really really really excited so much! and on my free time i get to travel germany...all by my lonesome..but if you want to come see me and pay for your own ticket and stuff i'm sure you could use thier house for a few days to like sleep in and stuff...and i still get to go on the 12 day tour with the german class! woot woot!!! yay!

Excuse my bitchyness today, i'm truley sorry, oh indeed i am.
I've had such bad mood swings today. They totally suck. And ya know what...they've like come out of nowhere. I mean there is no physical reason for them...if ya catch my drift...lol. yeah...so today, well actually yesterday started off bad. I mean bad. Which just ruined my day. I mean no matter what happiness showed on my face, it really wasn't. I was just sooo pissy. And yeah...then i was fine, and a little while later...i'm pissy again. But right now i'm in mixed emotions. I feel pissed off, but yet i feel that i could bust out crying any moment, or yeah. I just want someone i...i dunno, trust/like/good company around but i don't know, i really don't feel like seeing anyone. So yeah. I hope after a good night's sleep, i'll be okay. but i dunno. Tomorrow i'm going with my mom and aunt to brighton for like the first football game or something and i was thinking about having a friend come along, but i changed my mind. people suck right now....but i'll be okay. *smiles a tad* goodnight all...

I found this in a person's diary on another diary site, i though i'd put it up.
You've decided to do it. Life is impossible. Suicide is your way out. Fine--but before you kill yourself consider these facts: Suicide is not usually successful. You think you know a guaranteed way?

Ask the 25-year-old who tried to electrocute himself. He lived. But, both his arms are gone. What about jumping? Ask John. He used to be intelligent , with an engaging sense of humor. That was before he leapt from a building. Now, he's brain-damaged and will always need care. He staggers and has seizures. He lives in a fog. But, worst of all, he KNOWS he used to be normal. What about pills?

Ask the 12-year-old with extensive liver damage from an overdose. Have you ever seen anyone die of liver damage? You turn yellow. It's a hard way to go. What about a gun?

Ask the 24-year-old who shot himself in the head. Now he drags one leg, has a useless arm and has no vision or hearing on one side. He lived through his "foolproof" suicide. You might too.

But...Who will clean your blood off the carpet or scrape your brains from the ceiling? Commercial cleaning companies may refuse that job- -but SOMEONE has to do it. Who will have to cut you down from where you hung yourself or identify your bloated body after you've drowned? Your father? Your mother? Your wife? Your son? The carefully worded "loving" suicide note is of no help.

Those who loved you will NEVER completely recover. They'll feel regret and an unending pain. Suicide is contagious. Look around your family. Look closely at the 4 year old playing with his cars on the rug. Kill yourself tonight, and he may do it ten years from now. You DO have other choices. There are people who can help you through this crisis. Call a hotline. Call a friend. Call your minister or priest. Call a doctor or hospital. Call the police.They will tell you that there's hope. Maybe you'll find it in the mail tomorrow. Or in a phone call this weekend. But what you're seeking could be just a minute, a month, or a day away.You say you don't want to be stopped? Still want to do it?Well, then, I may see you in the psychiatric ward later.And we'll work with whatever you have left. IF YOU’RE READING THIS, PLEASE STEAL IT AND PUT IT IN YOUR DIARY TOO

so at like 1:30am last night i decide to go to bed, but first i had to ask my mom something. it's odd she was up so later too. but i decided to look out the window and i saw the new momma kitty. then i saw 2 kittens next to her. then i go down there and there's another kitten under the car. so now we have 4 new kittens and a new momma kitty! yay! okay so we've got the male kitty that's light orange with dark orange stripes(long hair) and blue eyes, then the girl with short hair of gray with black stripes and blue eyes, then another girl with light gray fur(short) and dark gray stripes with blue eyes (i want that one) and then the last girl is a fluffy gray cat with white paws and a white spot on it's chest with blue eyes, and this cat is absolutely the devil. it was hissing and fighting and tring to kill everything on sight. but their damn cute and i love them. and sadly they are all about the age where they can be given away. so if you know anybody who wants a kitty, tell me.

well! i found one! i found one of her kittens! she brought it by the window downstairs that's always open so cats can come in and out, and i saw it! it is soo damn cute! for anyone who knows my cat orange butt, well it's a fully version of him. it's a long haired orange kitten with bright blue eyes. it's not very little either. it's about the size of a kitten when they're given away. it's damn cute! yay! it's playing on my lap right now!

Follow up on the new kitty
Okay, so i knew something was kind of odd about this kitty. her tits were big, so to say. and i thought...does she have kittens, but she didn't look like she was feeding. so i go outside and call her, and picke her up. her tummy(tits) had been fed off. she has kittens. somewhere she has kittens. in the woods or something. we're hoping that she'll bring them closer or maybe even in the garage. she eats in the garage and we're going to leave it a little open so if she wants to bring them in there she can. i'm so excited...and i just can't hide it....yay! i love kittens, i hope i get to see them soon!

I found a Kitty!!!
So yeah, today when i woke up and all my friends left, i went by the window. and i heard a cat's meow, but it was like a cat in trouble meow. so i thought one of my cat's was in trouble or being beat up or something. i go outside and look under the bronco where the noise was coming from, and saw a new kitty. she's horribly little. i mean like hasn't eaten in a month little. you could see her ribs and where she should have a fat belly, it sunk in. she's awfully sweet too. i really want to keep her. she doesn't really like my other cats so much either, she'll see them, and growl at them, so i make them go away. i've got a new kitty....yay! (i hope i can keep her)

there is a bat on our screen door. it's sooo cute! like a tiny wolf with wings and stuff. my brother is on the phone with his friend and his friend said something like, if it bites you do you turn into batman? then my brother said no you idoit, you turn into a vampire if a bat bites you. damn it was funny. yay! i like bats, they're cute!

I need a job.
I just went through all the money I had, and I need a job. I'm gonna start driving soon, and I need to pay for my insurance and stuff. First step: Open bank account. Second Step: Apply anywhere and everywhere. Third Step: Get accepted for a job. So tomorrow, I'm going job hunting and opening a bank account, adn getting money from people that's owed to me from people like my mommy who thinks I'm here bank. Right...I feel motivated, and I bet tomorrow I won't feel it, but I'll try. Lol...Tschüs!

Birthday
yep, it's my birthday and yay. so soon i have to take my driving test. my dad keeps bugging me about it. so i get to go shopping with my sister today...oh joy. funny how we both hate shopping soo much, yet she insists on taking me. i have read so much of my anne rice novel, that i've almost finished it, and it was only on page 30 when i was at jess' house, and that was like 3 days ago, and i read very little at her house, but i tried. and on tuesday i've had the urge to read like never before....maybe inside it's because i want school to start up very soon, and i do, so many people i don't see because of summer, oh well school shall start and we all shall say we hate it but secretly love it. well i think i'll finish my book now. tschüs!

Well my Aunt Barb called and had some bad news. Today my aunt and cousin Steven, who's a year older, same grade though, went up to some place to pick up his car from the shop. On the way home my aunt was following him and he missed a stop sign, and got hit my a semi truck. my aunt watched her son in is newly fixed car get hit by a semi truck. how freaky. well my cousin is okay, not hurt thankfully, just a few scrapes a bruises. Umm, but i don't think they had insurance on the car either, or not full insurance. But it was a this corner with a lot of neighbors who said that a couple kids have been killed in the past year because you can't really see the stop sign. And this one girl was crying because she saw him get hit and like a month ago she saw somebody got in the same kind of crash. And this is my aunt who's husband probably won't live much longer cuz he's got a really bad case of cancer that has be found on the lungs, liver, and around the treacha and esophugus. And last month her husband was driving home from work and a cop car hit him. Like the cops fault and all. Totalled his car, that wasn't fully insured, and they didn't sue. I think they should have sued or gotten some kind of money out of it for a new car. They had to file for bankruptcy not too long ago because all of the medical bills, and she lost her job, but she found a new one. but yeah. it's not good. she has the worst luck. They were doing okay for a while and so they got new carpeting and stuff like that with their tax refunds, and then all this bad stuff starts happening. I feel sooo sorry for them. Nobody should have to go through this. It majorly sucks ass. Oh well, as long as everyone is safe and my uncle's chemo works.