Ross von Metze | August 04, 2005
Sienna Miller tells Jude Law to take a hike

By now, most of America knows that British hottie Jude Law pulled a Bill Clinton last week and told the entire world he cheated on his woman, actress Sienna Miller. Miller, obviously shaken by the news, took a night off from performing in the West End production of As You Like It, producers beefed up security and she issued the standard Hollywood response: �no comment.�

Well, Sienna�s made her statement, and it ain�t pretty – the engagement ring has been returned and, according to British sources, she �never wants to see Jude again.� Apparently Jude ain�t taking no for an answer and is pushing the actress to take him back, but sources for Sienna saying certain things, such as infidelity, are unforgivable. Law took up with Miller just weeks after his divorce from wife Sadie Frost was final. As previously reported by Hollywood Celebrity Buzz, tabloid reports that Frost and Law liked to wife swap with another couple made the rounds shortly after the divorce.

Crew sick of Griffith �lighting up� on set of new sitcom

So Melanie Griffith, whose attempted almost as many comebacks as Cher at this point, is giving it the old College try yet again, this time as a washed up lingerie model on a WB sitcom where she stars as Sara Gilbert�s mom.

No, she hasn�t taken up with substance abuse again, though I give her about 15 minutes if they try and squeeze her into hot pants and a pair of pasties any time soon. And even though two time ex hubby Don Johnson has a show in production on the same network, that�s not the cause of drama either.

The big fuss is that Melanie can�t seem to put out a cigarette long enough to get any real work done. The actress pissed off crewmembers and costumers at a recent photo shoot when she lit up while standing in a series of extremely expensive gowns. According to Page Six, when people started asking her to quit smoking, Griffith roared: �I�m a fucking movie star, you�re going to ruin my day over this.� Supposedly, Griffith alleged that when she took the job on Twins, she was told by network execs she could smoke �anytime, anywhere.� Now, apparently, crew members are reminding producers that California is a no smoking state and demanding something be done about Puff, the magic diva.

I say let the woman smoke – if she burns a hole in the dress, charge her. But make her put those ciggies away and everyone�ll be really pissed when she takes up with a bottle of Oxycodone.

Catherine and Sandy �too old� to play Wonder Woman, says Carter

A Wonder Woman movie has been in the works over at Warner Bros. for years, with stars including Sandra Bullock and Catherine Zeta-Jones named as front-runners to taken on the part. But the original Wonder Woman, Lynda Carter, says she feels both stars are �too old� and have missed their time.

Carter, who says she�s bucking for a part in the film if and when it gets made, feels producers should go with a 20-something unknown instead of a 30-something or, in the case of Bullock, 40-something name! Carter told E! Online her opinion has nothing to do with Hollywood ageism but that she feels the part would be done better by a younger actress.

Carter is soon to be enjoying a mini Hollywood comeback – she has parts in two movies opening in the next few weeks – Sky High with Kurt Russell and The Dukes of Hazzard.

Jen II�s pregnancy makes J-Lo �depressed.�

Elle magazine struck a nerve with J-Lo in a recent interview for a cover story when the magazine�s reporter asked La Lopez how she felt about Jennifer Garner�s baby with ex Ben Affleck.

An unusually somber Jennifer allegedly responded by saying that while she was happy for the couple and had no ill feelings, it made her sad to talk about – almost �depressed.� The reporter quickly apologized for asking the question, which Jen accepted, but she then took a break from the interview, coming back a few minutes later collected and �ready to continue.�

Hmmm! Is it possible after all Bennifer may just have been the real thing?

The Abbey plays host to gay comic competition

Moving on to something a little more funny, as in stand up haha�s, Weho�s famous The Abbey will play host to a stand up comedy show airing on the LOGO network on Thursday�s. The premiere of Wisecrack was last night at 10pm on LOGO – each week will feature a full-length performance by one of LGBT�s most popular names. Talent including Judy Gold, Alex Mapa, Vicki Shaw and Miss Coco Peru are on board for featured specials during the show�s six episode run. The Abbey, arguably LA�s most popular gay bar, also hosts events for the Oscars and AIDS Walk Los Angeles annually.

So that�s all the dish for this week. If you wanna read more crap about people, check out my mentor, Ted Casablanca over at E! Online. Unapologetically blunt, here�s hoping no one in Hollywood is on Heaven�s review board when Ted tries to make a run for the pearly gates.

Until we meet again – one person�s trash is another person�s rent check.
– Issued by Gay Link Content

Ross von Metzke is the Editor in Chief of Xodus Magazine and a featured columnist for GayWired.com. His work has appeared in YM, Performing Arts, The San Diego Union Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Instinct and Gay Web Monkey. Ross lives in San Diego.