Yeah, an interview for an internal promotion, that the boss had already told me they didn’t think I was suited for, but with a subtle implication that maybe I should apply anyway to show ambition. Was a disaster (absolutely impossible to bullshit about the past few years when they were present for all of it). Just flat out shrugged for some of the questions. Was a good impetus to get out of there though.

Once or twice, but I’ll always act enthusiastic. I have a mate who is hilarious in these situations. He’s stopped people midway through the interview before and said “Sorry to waste your time, but I’m not really up for this”.

I used to be able to push on through and act enthusiastically but I really don’t know if I can anymore. The last one I was at a few involved a technical test at the end of it. The initial interview felt like it went really well, although i realised that the job wasn’t for me. When they said that it was time for the test I realised that I’d forgotten about it and my heart sank a bit (I hadn’t really prepared). I really should’ve just cut it short at that point.

Went for a job that I was perfectly qualified for and had the right experience, passed the two written tests and then had a verbal test in the interview. Everything was going really well up to that point but I crashed out at the verbal test stage as I’d been reading up on the wrong thing. I also had no idea how to answer when asked about a problem I’d successfully dealt with in the workplace as I’d been self-employed since I finished uni apart from a kitchen job.

I’d already found out during the written tests that I’d need to move to Luxembourg for up to seven years which I wan’t up for, so couldn’t really be arsed with it anyway after that

Almost a decade ago I returned to my hometown and developed something of an alcohol problem. Anyways, I was signing on for a while and as part of their commitment to getting people from the Workfare scheme, the new Poundland was only offering interviews to people on benefits.

I turned up about 10 minutes late in a purple shirt about 3 sizes too small with my gut poking out between the buttons, bleary-eyed and absolutely stinking of stale booze and garlic.

My hope was that they’d just tell me to go home, but the guy proceeded to grill me on why I thought I deserved a shot at working at his pound shop, and what made me stick out from the rest of the candidates.

Yes, because both interviewers were absolute arseholes. They were doing the whole “let’s make this person really uncomfortable to see how they react” shtick* and I couldn’t be arsed with it.

I turned down the second interview (because I got a job offer somewhere else the same day) and they got really offended by that and kept badgering me to explain why. I didn’t return those calls.

I was meant to be coming up against one of those interviewers on the other side to a hearing in a few months, but he’s since left the company. Gutted. I put so much work into the written submissions to make him look like a dick.

*I know someone else who interviewed there and the interviewer said to her “I don’t think your choice of the contraceptive pill as an important invention of the 20th century is a good one, because it only affects half of the population.” Twaaaaaaat.