A Fond Farewell

With the posting of the Bee-Whiched results on June 20, our Word Games feature comes to a close. Alas, the pressures of our other puzzle-writing duties compel us to suspend these online games. We've had a wonderful time conducting the contests and we've made a lot of pen (er, computer) pals along the way. To everyone who's participated, especially those of you who've generously suggested word-game ideas to us, we extend our sincere thanks. Our monthly in-print Puzzlers will of course continue, and if the Wordplay Muse smiles upon us we may reappear someday with new online games and
contests. But for now a fond farewell. As Reverend Spooner might say: "Low
song! Wee bell! West bishes!"

This final installment in our series of word-game contests invited verbal
slapstick, and we certainly received our share of homophonic pun-ishment. Some
all-time classics inevitably turned up, with bakers NEEDING/KNEADING dough,
cooks running out of TIME/THYME, princesses having a bad NIGHT/KNIGHT, doctors
requiring a lot of PATIENCE/PATIENTS, Marines being rotten to the CORE/CORPS,
and strange markets selling BIZARRE/BAZAAR items. Contestant
djwixted@facstaff.wisc.edu reminded us of another classic pun, writing:

Here's a line that our local Dairy Queen had on its marquee one day when I was
a kid: "Seven days without a DQ burger makes one ___." (WEEK/WEAK)

Some contestants submitted entries with multiple parts, and others pulled out
all the punnery stops. Worthy of honorable mention is homophonic gagster
paypete1st@worldnet.att.net, who wrote:

People complained when the reserves pulled out of Erie, but they left ___.
(IRREGARDLESS/ERIE GUARD-LESS)

Our three top favorites came from cmatthews@sjmercury.com,
rmaluft@mercury.eau.net, and dmonson@direct.ca. These punsters will each be
awarded their choice of a free book from our online store or a T-shirt (in
black or white) with a surfing Poseidon on the back. Congratulations, winners!
And thanks, everyone, for this and many other games of friendly wordplay fun!

The Winners

When gossip finally led to the landlady's arrest for murdering her tenants and
scattering parts of their bodies around town, her only comment was, "Well,
that's what comes of spreading ___." (ROOMERS/RUMORS)
(cmatthews@sjmercury.com)

Ever the perfectionist, Anthony Quinn, when playing the fisherman in "The Old
Man and the Sea," personally made sure his understudy's lines were ___.
(TAUGHT/TAUT) (rmaluft@mercury.eau.net)

I love your old worn-out jacket covered with all those slogans, but I can't
read the ___ at the end of the sleeves. (FRAYS/PHRASE) (dmonson@direct.ca)