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Just The Beginning – 30 days with Jesus (day30)

“So this is it.” I thought to myself as I rolled out of bed and slipped my feet into my sneakers one more time.

My thoughts drowned out my music as I climbed that hill for one last sunrise. I couldn’t shake this anxiety in my spirit.

“It’s over”.

The thought just kept coming and with it a sort of fear.

A fear of going back to “normal”. A fear of forgetting everything I’ve learned, or worse yet, not knowing how to implement it. A fear of losing that closeness that I had found. A fear of going backwards. A fear of everything ending.

I didn’t want it to end. Yet here it was, and suddenly thirty days felt like a week and I wanted more time.

I wanted to hold on to the moment and just sit up on this mountain forever. Literally forever.

I think back over the last thirty days and I am automatically drawn into a spirit of thankfulness. I’m just so thankful.

I cannot believe everything that God has showed me and taught me. I am absolutely overwhelmed.

Then, amidst the music and the millions of thoughts running through my head, I hear something. It caresses my fearful heart and whispers to my tired soul.

It says, “I the Lord do not change.”

“Twila, it’s up to you if you continue in this close communication with me. I am not going anywhere. I have always been here, I will always be here. The question is, will you make this a lifestyle? You are afraid that everything will change after today, when really NOTHING has to change. The choice is yours. I’ll still be here.”

Of course! Of course! That makes sense!

I can choose to make this a lifestyle. Nothing actually has to change.

Tomorrow morning – day 31 – I will still wake up at 5:30 and put on my shoes and run up to the mountain and pray and worship and rest. The only difference is now I can eat when I come down.

It’s my choice to keep the habits I have formed and turn them into a LIFESTYLE. Because really, if it’s not a lifestyle then what is the point?

Then He said this:

“You think these thirty days have been crazy? You haven’t seen anything yet!THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING!”

And I had to think, yeah. You’re right.

This is just the beginning! And it makes me excited to see what is coming next. Nervous excited.

“You prayed for your heart to be broken – I did that.You prayed for your calling – I gave you that.You know your next step, but you are unsure. You don’t feel prepared. Or qualified.But without that step you are sitting on your faith.I made you.I love you.So love you too.Don’t change yourself. Grow up – but don’t change the person I made you to be.Be unashamed.Because unashamed = unafraid.Simply start.Simply step.I am not asking you to leap to the other side.I am not even saying that the other side is where you are going.I am simply asking you for a single step.A step of faith.And it is not too much to ask because it is what you have been asking of others.”

So what do you do with words like those? When you thought something was ending and you find out it is just beginning.

The rest is yet to come. The BEST is yet to come.

But I know I must step. I cannot come out of my thirty days and stand still. I must step. Just once. Then once more. I must stay on the path behind Jesus.

Even though sometimes it feels like He is blocking my view. I can’t see what’s coming. I can only step directly behind Him where He has already cleared the way.

And I think, isn’t He supposed to be the light? Why can’t I see?But all I’m seeing is the post that is directly in front of me. All I must do is look up.

The light is there. He goes ahead. He does all the work.

My job is to simply step. Simply trust.

And possibly hang on for dear life because who knows what’s coming! Oh wait, He does.

So the thirty days are over. But the rest of my journey has just begun.

It’s not the end. It is only the beginning!

Thank you so much for your prayers and support throughout these 30 days. I felt those prayers and I desperately needed them and so you will be blessed because you have automatically been a blessing. May God lead you to an encounter, a personal experience with Himself, in the time that you give Him. Lay it all down. Run to Him. Find your rest.