Lum’s House of Pain certainly lived up to its reputation on friday. As with any game where you have 10 players, you know you’re gonna see some serious pain get handed out. With one or two exceptions, those who lost, lost big, and those who won, won big. And with a new record established for buy-ins ($520), you know there was plenty of skill AND donkying going on.

I gotta tell ya, I’d be hard-pressed to remember the last time we had so many river cards deciding the outcome of so many hands. It truly was a riverfest. We also had one of the biggest pots ever played out in one hand where there were 4 big stacks on an all-in, in which Dave had the huge fortune of taking down. This set him up for the rest of the night, and with the CONTINUING fortune that he was enjoying throughout the evening, this soon put his stack in record-breaking territory. Indeed, had he sat on his stack for the remainder of the evening, he could have comfortably taken down Alex’s record of biggest money win in a single game. At one point, his chips totalled over $220. Minus the $20 buy-in, that means that he was $20 plus over Alex’s record of last year. For Dave it was heady territory indeed. Dave however, was a trooper and continued to play his usual game. Towards the end of the night, he lost, won, and lost again on some big pots. By the end of the game, he sat on top of the heap with $155.00 in winnings. The Weedman not only takes the biggest win of the year so far, he quite simply blows right past 2nd place.

If Dave did have a nemesis this evening, it was Keith. I’m pretty sure that Keith was the only guy that Dave couldn’t beat on this night, although he certainly tried. Keith’s been having a bit of a strange year so far. While clearly doing well in money earned, his winning percentage is definitely below par. What this means is that when he wins, he wins BIG. Friday’s game was a classic Keith game. Quiet and patient for the whole evening, he picked his spots and confidently won practically every hand that he took to the river. He was so quiet that at one point I looked over at his big stack and thought “how the fuck did he compile so many blacks and greens”? But that he did, and at the end of the night, it was another great result for the Force with a $108 win.

Our Grand Master B, Jack, finally came out of his shell and overcame a 4 week losing spell that was causing him to lose sleep. His $67.50 win, on any other week might have been enough to take 1st place, but on this crazy night, it was only good enough for 6 points and 3rd place. His biggest hand was quad 6’s that cleaned out our token Asian, causing him to have to re-buy once again for the umpteenth time. The winners were rounded off by Mr. Reverse Cinderella-Bob, who managed to sneak off with $37 of our hard earned money.

Ian the Anvil’s magic of last week kinda fizzled out on Friday. He tried to make some forays into Dave’s stack now and then, but always ended up getting his fingers burned. He, like me, lost $40 each. The difference between us was that he played a relatively stable game, whereas I took several big beatings during the night. I’d started off the night well enough when I won the first hand played, but with 1/2 an hour to go, I had bought-in for$80 and was staring at a measly $7.75 in front of me. At that point, fate finally decided to smile on me and allowed me to start a small comeback when I quadrupled my stack on a 4-way all-in, in which I took the main pot. And when I won the final hand of the night I had recouped 1/2 of my losses and only ended up losing $40. It ended on a relatively positive note for me, but a pair of bookend wins and with 3 other wins in between, it was once again a very unsatisfactory evening for me. I actually counted the hands I lost on the river, and for me it was 5. The SpiC is not happy. I just have to be patient and continue to play the solid game that I’ve been playing all year. The cards will warm up to me again at some point.

The Volcanic Italian was much more civil this evening, although there were a couple of times that Mr. Etna-suvius threatened to blow again. In the end it was all just a little bit of smoke and ash, and the volcano only lost $7.75. I am surprised that he did play the last hand though. If he had stayed out of it, he could have guaranteed himself a positive finish and earned himself another 3 points. Maybe he didn’t know how much he had in front of him.

This brings us to the big LOSERS of the night. Porno Pete was certainly interesting to watch. At one point, he had a massive stack of greens and blacks in front of him, but after a few bad hands for him, he was relieved of that burden. He ended up taking the worst loss at $100.00. The Beef and the Slimy Siamese just couldn’t get anything happening and both left with $80.00 losses.

In summary, it was probably one of the most pivotal games played all year, stat-wise. Alex and Keith had a $190 difference in the standings, with the result that Mr. Beef’s lead is not so insurmountable anymore. Dave’s win took him from dead last, to being in 4th to last place. And finally, Bob’s and Keith’s wins combined with my loss, leapfrogs both of them ahead of me. A very interesting game indeed. Donk of the Night is a no-brainer, as Dave earned enough honors in one night to carry him throughout the year. Next week’s game is at my place, and again, if you can’t make it, let me know ahead of time so we can invite a long list of others who want to play. Yup, I think this year we’re gonna have a lot more 10+ player games. I now present you with the 2nd installment of Car Babe(s) of the Week.

Ok, here we go. I have to rant…., I have to get this thing off my chest or I may end up committing infanticide (ok, he’s not an infant, but he is my son). Yes Alex, this week you get to star in my blog. Just what kind of deal did you make with the devil, anyway. When is your soul due in payment of services rendered? My God man, how long is this unbelieveably lucky streak of yours going to continue? Oh, I’ve heard the excuses, everyone’s heard the excuses, (I was justified in this…, I was justified in that…), but the truth is that no matter how hard you try and justify, we all have eyes and a brain and we can see what’s really going on. Do you know why you won last year and are leading by a wide margin this year? It’s because when you combine an aggressive game with a consistently lucky streak, you can’t be beat. It doesn’t matter what cards you or I get, 75% of the time, you will win, just because you’re Alex. Friday’s example is the perfect summing up of what you’ve been doing to everyone for the past 2 years. You raise with a Q8 offsuit, and then call my pre-flop all-in, and after the 5 cards are turned up, you shit out a Royal Flush to my trip Aces. I wish I lived in Alexland, I’d be buying lottery tickets left and right. The fact is that this was the most extreme example of the kind of luck you’ve been having, but you pull off shit like this time and time again. You don’t believe me? Blinded by your own success? You think this is just me going off? Just ask any of the other guys. Go on, ask them? I dare ya. The truth can be hard to take sometimes. And don’t let this ‘Donk of the week’ thing fool ya, the names may change every week, but we all know who the donk of the past 2 years has been. In this case, don’t think of me as your dad, think of me as the conscience of the group.

That having been said, please don’t get offended by what I just wrote. Personally, you know that I love you and that I would give my life for you a thousand times over. But when you’re sitting at the poker table with me, you’re just another player who I wanna beat. I also realize that there’s not a helluva lot that you can do about what’s been happening. You’re riding on top of a big wave and there’s no reason why you should even consider wanting to get off. My reason for writing this rant is twofold; Number 1: I needed to get this off my chest for my own sanity’s sake, and Number 2: Try to get you to understand that what has been happening has as much to do with your own skill as it has to do with luck. Trust me when I say this, because when the cards turn sour for you (and they will…. at some point), you won’t go into a deep poker depression and quit the game like Dustin did because he couldn’t win anymore (I know, Dustin claims that it’s lack of funds, but you and I both know why he quit).

So please understand that I am happy for you with your success, and I would want nothing but success for you in anything that you do. But when shit like this happens to me when I play against you on a consistent basis, at some point I have to vent. I am just sorry that it’s you that I’m ranting about, and not Lum. I’d much rather be going off on him than on you. I’m sure that he would be more that happy to be ranted on, because that would mean that he was the one who was up $450 after 20 weeks.

There, I’ve spoken my mind. This blog is mine dammit, and I’m exercising my right to free speech! Next week’s game is at Lum’s House of Pain, unless we get cancellations in which case it will be at Jack’s House of Mild Discomfort. Speaking of cancellations, if anyone can’t make it to the game, please let me know ahead of time (through this blog or telephone) so that we can invite others, etc. I am now instituting a new feature called ‘Car Babe of the Week’. It’s got nothing to do with poker, but hey, we’re guys and we like cars AND babes, so sue me.