Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Man! I woke up at ten o'clock this morning. I don't think I've woken up that late since I was like 25. I used to be a late sleeper when I was a rock musician. You have to be when you get back at 4 AM from a gig. But these days even on the rare occasions I actually do get back from a gig at 4 AM I still wake up by seven. This is one of the many reasons I can't do those kinds of gigs anymore. I guess I must be really jet-lagged from all that travel!

Anyway, this girl named Sarah was minding my apartment while I was away (after the magnificent Teresa Hurray got done with her turn there, during which she completely overhauled the place and made it much more livable). Sarah's a big Beatle geek. And I have two copies of the Beatles Anthology book. One was given to me by the folks at Chronicle Books when I was working on the book about Eiji Tsuburaya I did for them. So I decided to give one of those copies to Sarah.

But inside the book were two very interesting photos that I've posted here today and that I wanted to write about. The first one is there on top. It shows, from left to right, Peter Rocca, Nishijima Roshi, me and Taijun Saito. It is the only photo I have taken on the day of my Dharma Transmission ceremony.

Peter also received the Dharma that day. In the first draft of Hardcore Zen I mentioned this. But my editor thought that if I included Peter he would become a character in the book and would draw the reader into another story that wasn't really the one we were trying to tell. So Peter ended up on the cutting room floor and I've always felt bad about that. But here now is the evidence! Sorry Peter!

Taijun was Nishijima Roshi's jisha (assistant) at the time. She had coached me on how to wear my kesa (Buddhist robe) for hours and hours and yet it still kept falling off. Here she is adjusting it for the umpteenth time that evening. Before she fell in with Nishijima Roshi, Taijun had trained in a temple where they take these kinds of things very seriously. The photo was taken by Yuka, who always liked taking photos of me when I was looking especially stupid.

The other photo must have been taken around the same time. It shows me with actor Susumu Kurobe. Kurobe played Hayata, the guy who transforms into Ultraman in the original 1966 TV series. In order to transform into the towering 120 foot tall superhero, Hayata always raised a thing called the Beta Capsule into the air. There'd be a blinding flash of light and Ultraman would appear.

In one famous episode, Hayata accidentally raised a spoon into the air (he'd been having lunch when disaster struck in the form of a marauding monster). This episode actually caused a huge stir at the network. Apparently they couldn't abide by the idea of the hero of the show making a mistake. But Tsuburaya Productions rallied around director Akio Jissoji and insisted the scene stay in the show.

ANYWAY I was out to dinner with Kurobe-san and prevailed upon him to recreate that scene with me in front of the restaurant. Cool, huh?

The reason I was having dinner with Kurobe-san that night was somehow related to a legal case we were pursuing in Southeast Asia at the time. A film producer in one of those countries had appeared on our doorstep sometime in the mid-1990's with what he claimed was a "contract" entitling him to all overseas sales rights to Ultraman.

The document itself (we never called it a contract at the office) was highly dubious. It got the names of the shows wrong, it contained no mention of any sort of remuneration, parts of the document seemed to have been typed in at different times like someone had fed it thru a typewriter after it had been initially created trying to add new lines in but make them look like they'd been there from the beginning. Furthermore, the "contract" was supposed to have been signed in 1974, yet the man who possessed it had taken 21 years to claim the rights it had allegedly given him.

In short, he had a very weak case. But he somehow convinced the president of our company to sign a letter of apology for having violated these rights. He was making a big pest of himself and implied that he would go away happily if only we just apologized in a friendly and gentlemanly fashion.

Amazingly, the president of our company gave him the letter of apology he demanded. From then on the Southeast Asian movie producer used this letter of apology as evidence that the dubious "contract" was, in fact, legitimate. He was able to drag the case through the courts for ages.

The moral of the story is, if someone has a very weak -- or, as in this case, pretty much non-existent -- case against you, never apologize for something you didn't do, especially on paper. It will haunt you forever. They're still fighting this in the courts, though thankfully I no longer have to work on it.

It was such a slimy thing to do, demanding the letter of apology when he knew full well he had no case at all without it. I'm still amazed that it worked. Only someone truly naive would sign such a thing. But, my God, what kind of lousy, amoral sleezebag asks for a letter of apology when he knows full well he only intends to use that against the person he gets the apology from? It's truly sad. (Oh sorry, commenters! I know I'm only supposed to give beautiful Buddha blessings to everyone in the world... Feh!)

I've written up this story about three dozen times on behalf of the company when I worked for them and it always made me mad. Now it just seems sad. At least I know that if I'm ever asked for a letter of apology over something I didn't do I ain't signing it! And let that be a word of advise to all of you. Don't say you never learned nothin' from this blog!

I'm sorry. You guys wanted some "dharma" didn't you? OK. I was gonna write a piece about jukai, the precepts ceremony. I performed a jukai ceremony last week and one the week before that. I don't do them very often. Lots of Buddhist teachers do them constantly. I was gonna try and write out my own personal philosophy about jukai and why I so rarely do it. But I'll save that for next time when I'm not all jet-lagged and full of nostalgia. OK?

I am a pacifist, and I am proud of that (yes, Buddhists can be 'proud' of some things). Over these past weeks, I have never raised my voice or hand to anyone, except in Gassho (even at times when others around me were not reciprocating my pacifism). Not once did I ever forget to maintain that pacifist attitude, and I am proud of that.

He means when the guy came out and was hitting him.

Taijun was Nishijima Roshi's jisha (assistant) at the time. She had coached me on how to wear my kesa (Buddhist robe) for hours and hours and yet it still kept falling off. Here she is adjusting it for the umpteenth time that evening. Before she fell in with Nishijima Roshi,

That was before Taijun fell out with Nishijima, and she stopped talking to him and him to her. Another Dogen Sangha drama.

Seems to me that Nishijima in this instance is the head of the company in Brad's metaphorical story, who Brad says basically was bullied into writing that apology letter (meeting for tea with Jundo). Brad is pointing out through this little fairy tale that by giving an inch to that moocher, the guy used it as political leverage for even more attacks on the company.

He also seems to be saying that apologizing is a bad idea, which makes sense, since i've never in all these years of reading Brad's work, seen him apologize or even admit to regretting a decision such as cheating on his wife. Sorry, he put that out there for public consumption so i dont mind bringing it up. This is a cat who really doesnt ever do anything wrong--at least, not how he sees it.

On the other side you have Jundo, who is much more adept at saying the "correct" things--but you always sense that he's maybe just gaming the system the whole time.

Out of all these characters, my money is on the bigot Mike Cross as being the most genuine and sincere practitioner. He is toiling away even now in relative obscurity, and he seems all to adept at seeing his own shortcomings. But at least he strikes me as a genuine person with a real work ethic and not a power hungry politician.

Seems to me that Nishijima in this instance is the head of the company in Brad's metaphorical story, who Brad says basically was bullied into writing that apology letter (meeting for tea with Jundo). Brad is pointing out through this little fairy tale that by giving an inch to that moocher, the guy used it as political leverage for even more attacks on the company.

He also seems to be saying that apologizing is a bad idea, which makes sense, since i've never in all these years of reading Brad's work, seen him apologize or even admit to regretting a decision

I was listening to a talk on the Satipatthana Sutta recently. It was given by Joseph Goldstein and is available on dharmaseed.com. A different traditon I know, but one thing in particular he mentioned was very interesting. That was the translation of the word "Dukkha", which we take to be "suffering" in English. Of course this word is a central tenant to all of Buddhism, being a core insight of the first noble truth - that suffering is an inescapable characteristic of this reality. What was interesting in Goldstein's talk was that he explained the breakdown. "Du" translates as "Bad", and "Ka" as the fitting of an axel to the wheel on a cart. So "Dukkha" translates most literally as "bad fitting of axel to wheel on cart", or more simply "bumpy ride".

This is an inescapably bumpy ride. We are all riding in the same cart with a bad axel fitting. Everyone can't stand it. All the bodies are being jostled about, up and down, left right, unpredictably. And on this cart takes place these blog posts and comment streams.

I am a pacifist, and I am proud of that (yes, Buddhists can be 'proud' of some things). Over these past weeks, I have never raised my voice or hand to anyone, except in Gassho (even at times when others around me were not reciprocating my pacifism). Not once did I ever forget to maintain that pacifist attitude, and I am proud of that.

Ah... memories... one of the few scenes from Ultraman I can still remember.

Used to watch it on the UHF dial. Channel 19 out of Buffalo, NY. It played all the old B Scifi movies, Godzilla, stuff like that. Way back when you actually had to get up and change the channel or volume by hand. Not to mention the rabbit ears...

I also vaguely remember a scene where the tail of a moster was ripped off and continued bouncing around the city... (might that have been Godzilla?)

"This is a cat who really doesnt ever do anything wrong--at least, not how he sees it.:

Bingo! But ego has nothing to do with True Buddhism. It's just one of those new age buddhist terms. Just like nonattachment wasn't a central teaching of buddhism....until he decided it was afterall.

It's not that ego has nothing to do with Buddhism, it's that definitions take you further away from the truth of the matter. Brad will not admit to doing wrong just as he will not admit to doing something right. Jundo is all about making things 'right' and avoiding things wrong.. That is fine on some level but it is dualistic and not Buddhism.

btw, when i said "metaphorical story," that doesnt mean I am doubting the authenticity of his story.

My point was that he was using it as a metaphor for the current situation. I probably stretched the parallels also, but it was interesting to try and make more out of it instead of taking it at face value.

"i've never in all these years of reading Brad's work, seen him apologize or even admit to regretting a decision such as cheating on his wife. Sorry, he put that out there for public consumption so i dont mind bringing it up. This is a cat who really doesnt ever do anything wrong--at least, not how he sees it."

...Now read the book again. You'll see that he has admitted he's made wrong choices and that he did regret cheating with his wife...Just because he gives the justifications he used with himself, doesn't mean he condones it.

....And having gone through something similar, I can see how not even sleeping in the same room with someone you're married to might make you consider straying...It's a marriage in name only at that point...

in Jundo's mind, he is a Gandhi-like noble champion of peace (even as he threatens public humiliation and legal action for failing to submit to his 'peaceful' wish for 'just a cup of tea'),

No, Jundo received some physical threats from a Karate guy, and then was punched pretty good by someone else. He said that he would take legal action if he or his family continued to be threatened, or if the guy who hit him lied and said he had been attacked by Jundo. I would too.

> Also unlike you, I am not a transmission-receiving disciple of Buddha with qualifications to transmit his teachings.> However I have spend most of my 15 years in Japan training in the "moving zen" of Buddhism-influenced traditional Japanese martial arts, learning and achieving some small proficiency in the effective and practical application of physical violence, with and without weapons.>> The above is a statement of fact: I imply nothing, though what you may infer is totally up to you.> So I request from you one final time: stay away from the retreat.

(One editorial comment from Jundo: Another fine example of what happens in this Sangha when you teach someone Zazen as the be all and end all of practice and right behavior, and rarely mention "non-violence", "Right Action/Right Speech" and the rest of the Precepts very often or much. You have a fine "Junior Dogen Sanghite" growing there ... he will fit right into this mean and warring club when he is fully grown).

The issue of whether a fight actually took place aside -- why is Jundo hanging out where he isn't wanted? Why not just go away and do his own thing? He has an online community of people who like him, so I don't see what he stands to gain from persisting. His behavior puzzles me.

Although -- I once dated a guy who wound up exhibiting this kind of behavior, and I had to get a restraining order against him. Why he didn't go away and bother someone else I never quite understood, except that he took my decision to break off the relationship as some existential threat to his self-image. We previously sat down (at his request) with the assistant pastor of the church we were both attending; he tried to get the pastor to convince me to continue to date him, which obviously didn't work. That's the lens through which I see this conflict, for whatever it's worth. Jundo, for some reason, sees the imprimatur of Dogen Sangha's current head as important enough to him that he's willing to raise a stink about it. As someone on a previous thread said, "You can offer someone the olive branch, but you're not supposed to chase them and beat them with it."

Lest someone accuse me of being partial, I am not a member of either Jundo's or Brad's sangha, just a curious bystander.

Hope she doesn't mind, but I'm reposting this from Stephanie since she posted it at the end of the last topic and may have been missed. I think it raises some important points.

Stephanie said:

What I see when I look at this recent ruckus between Brad and Jundo is two boys fighting. Freud might draw a parallel to the latency stage, a regression to the childhood era of fantasies of knights and noble superheroes battling it out for the good of the universe. Brad and Jundo each want to be a superhero; in Jundo's mind, he is a Gandhi-like noble champion of peace (even as he threatens public humiliation and legal action for failing to submit to his 'peaceful' wish for 'just a cup of tea'), while in Brad's mind, his Godzilla roar and fiery breath are going to save the world from all false Dharma teachers! This primitive playground battle with sticks as swords has just as little impact on the world of reality as other boys' battles.

I find this par for the course in the world of Zen, where even the best and brightest teachers, well versed in spiritual phenomena, have demonstrated over and over a blindness to the psychological dynamics of their inner lives. Seeing this sort of thing would cause me to despair over the value of zazen if I hadn't already resolved this matter for myself: knowledge of the absolute nature of reality is not enough to guide a person clearly through life in the world.

I always thought the beta capsule looked like one of those cool pens that had like 24 different inks in it, each with its own lever. At least when I played ultraman (Channel 39 or 26 in Houston, not sure which) that's what I used to transform.

I just finished listening to the Zen is Stupid "Rumors" podcast. I am a Brad Warner fan (and fellow Buckeye), so it was really cool to hear you talking with Gewn and Patrick. I especially loved "Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate". (Helluva title!) I thought it was a great work showing how you've really incorporated Zen into every situation in your life. Very inspiring. I'm working on it, but seem to be taking more steps backward than forward. Anyway, keep writing and I'll keep buying.

I find this par for the course in the world of Zen, where even the best and brightest teachers, well versed in spiritual phenomena, have demonstrated over and over a blindness to the psychological dynamics of their inner lives. Seeing this sort of thing would cause me to despair over the value of zazen if I hadn't already resolved this matter for myself: knowledge of the absolute nature of reality is not enough to guide a person clearly through life in the world.

Brilliant! I totally agree! Thank you Stephanie. I think that incorporating practices that DO help with the nitty-gritty may be a good thing to counterbalance this tendency.

Jundo has explained his behaviour several times. If you don't like his reasoning, that's up to you, but it's hardly the same thing as your ex-boyfriend.

Buddhists of the same Lineage, sharing a common teacher, should share a glass of tea, and sit Zazen together once in a long while to discuss Lineage affairs ... and especially if there have been tensions. It is not really a matter of choice, any more than a father or brothers would be justified in not speaking of important family business. A little time can be spared, even once a year.

I am sorry and apologize too if I disclosed email that should not have been ... it may have been stupid of me to do so, and to be honest, I still do not fully grasp the protocols for 'ccd mail that seemed directly related to the subject. But I apologize.

I am sorry and apologize too if I disclosed email that should not have been ... it may have been stupid of me to do so, and to be honest, I still do not fully grasp the protocols for 'ccd mail that seemed directly related to the subject. But I apologize..

I am sorry and apologize too if I disclosed email that should not have been ... it may have been stupid of me to do so, and to be honest, I still do not fully grasp the protocols for 'ccd mail that seemed directly related to the subject. But I apologize..

"No, Jundo received some physical threats from a Karate guy, and then was punched pretty good by someone else. He said that he would take legal action if he or his family continued to be threatened, or if the guy who hit him lied and said he had been attacked by Jundo. I would too.

"No, Jundo received some physical threats from a Karate guy, and then was punched pretty good by someone else. He said that he would take legal action if he or his family continued to be threatened, or if the guy who hit him lied and said he had been attacked by Jundo. I would too.

I would qualify though, that sitting zazen for 20+ years, even having having great insights into 'emptiness' or 'suchness' simply isn't a guarantee of wisdom about 'the psychological dynamics of their inner lives'. It may depend on the specifics of the practice, individual character and how the practice is applied in life.

Buddhists of the same Lineage, sharing a common teacher, should share a glass of tea, and sit Zazen together once in a long while to discuss Lineage affairs ... and especially if there have been tensions. It is not really a matter of choice, any more than a father or brothers would be justified in not speaking of important family business. A little time can be spared, even once a year.

And those who have been insulted should do as if nothing had happened...

> Also unlike you, I am not a transmission-receiving disciple of Buddha with qualifications to transmit his teachings.> However I have spend most of my 15 years in Japan training in the "moving zen" of Buddhism-influenced traditional Japanese martial arts, learning and achieving some small proficiency in the effective and practical application of physical violence, with and without weapons.>> The above is a statement of fact: I imply nothing, though what you may infer is totally up to you.> So I request from you one final time: stay away from the retreat.

"i've never in all these years of reading Brad's work, seen him apologize or even admit to regretting a decision such as cheating on his wife. Sorry, he put that out there for public consumption so i dont mind bringing it up. This is a cat who really doesnt ever do anything wrong--at least, not how he sees it."

...Now read the book again. You'll see that he has admitted he's made wrong choices and that he did regret cheating with his wife...Just because he gives the justifications he used with himself, doesn't mean he condones it.

If you read "Dipped in Karma" closely, you will find that most every "confession" is really very self serving. In every single case, Brad does not come across as looking so bad, like in the circumstances you mention where he emphasizes that he only cheated when the marriage was already over long over and his wife had cheated on him first. There are dozens of other excuses like that, in which the "sin" he confesses turns out not to be such a sin at all or have a reason about it. It is a "coming clean" where somehow the laundry turns out not to have been so dirty.

No problem there, but Brad only tells half the story in many cases, and that's the part that just stops short of making him look bad. If you read the book closely, and know a little about Brad, you will find that again and again. Even if you don't know Brad, you can see it in the way he tells the stories and the language he uses which always some justifies Brad's actions in the end.

I like the book, in that Brad makes a Zen master look human. Great, but he does it by covering up the real stink with perfume.

--If the writing was meant to conceal the bad, Book Critic, then how did you manage to read bad things into it?

--Well, dude, because his attempt to conceal it is even badder!

--Maybe he was being even-handed. Can't one be even-handed with oneself, or should Mr Warner have exaggerated his badness, bigged-up the bad, man!

--But he concealed it, it really was that badder! He cheated!

--Cheated? What do you mean?

--He had relations outside of marriage, and other stuff.

--I know, he wrote that.

--But afterwards he tried to convince me, the world, everyone that it wasn't THAT BAD! That's bad, more bad.

--Where you convinced?

--No

--About what?

--I'm not not convince that he's telling the truth about himself, in my opinion...Hey, this isn't me, you're just putting words into my mouth. That's not fair. I'm more than some guy you wrote a comment on here, you know.

So I was in my room and I was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything. But then again I was thinking about nothing. And then Brad came in and I didn't even know he was there. He called my name and I didn't hear him and then he started screaming: Jundo! Jundo!And I go:What, what's the matter?He goes:What's the matter with you?I go:There's nothing wrong Brad.He's all:Don't tell me that, you're on drugs!I go:No Brad I'm not on drugs I'm okay, I was just sitting you know, why don't you get me a cup of tea.He goes:NO you're on drugs!I go:Brad, I'm okay, I'm just sitting.He goes:No you're not sitting, you're on drugs! Normal people don't be acting that way!I go:Brad, just get me some tea, pleaseAll I want is some tea, and he wouldn't give it to meAll I wanted was some tea, just one cup of tea, and he wouldn't give it to me.Just a cup of tea.

They give you a white shirt with long sleevesTied around you're back, you're treated like thievesDrug you up because they're lazyIt's too much work to help a crazy

I'm not crazy - InstitutionalizedYou're the one who's crazy - InstitutionalizedYou're driving me crazy - InstitutionalizedThey stuck me in an institution,Said it was the only solution,to give me the needed professional help,to protect me from the enemy - Myself

Book Critic,Do YOU know Brad?...'cause I actually do...I mean, literally.So, how much do you know about the situation? Have you ever lived through a situation like that? How much do you REALLY know about Brad outside his books and this blog.

I think you make an unfair assessment, as well as having a misnomer- you criticized me and Brad, not the book.

I know, not exactly a book review was it MysteryMonkee. It is so easy for people to be critics and judge the lives of others. Also something very odd about people overly concerned and involved in what they take to be the lives of others.

I'm thinking about the issue of sitting and it was talked about in the last blog with regards to sitting regularly, sitting for 20 years etc. And I would like to add that like another commentator mentioned, one can come to lose all expectations, and for me that doesn't mean one doesn't have thoughts or opinions but it could mean that I might be more likely to question my opinions, assumptions and beliefs about myself and others. More importantly about myself because often how I treat others is a reflection of what I really think of myself whether I acknowledge it or not. Nor do I think, at this time, being so new really to sitting, that it is a one way ticket to being some "better" me where I treat myself and others better, with more respect. I think sitting could really affect that in a meaningful way but I also think I have to make an effort in life, during the times when I'm not sitting thinking how great it is that I'm sitting. I have to be conscious of it when I'm working, relating to my boyfriend, co-workers, our clients and making comments here. It sound quite preachy, but I have to stop and see if my action is really what I truly want to be doing, is this just some knee jerk reaction? Am I just being a jerk here? Really look at these kind of things for myself. Growth and moving away from habitual behaviours takes effort and I can see that sitting is a part of that but I am not sure it is the whole. It's a journey I guess (that was so lame, I know).

gniz wrote...> This is a cat who really doesnt > ever do anything wrong--at > least, not how he sees it.

A point of logic: if someone rarely/never appologizes, it doesn't necessarily follow that he doesn't ever do wrong, or thinks that he never does wrong.

If you realize that you've done bad action to someone in the past, the most important thing is to not repeat such action in the present. Or if possible even do action that corrects the lingering effects of the past mistake.

In other words, it may be an alternative to concentrate totally on doing my best in the present, rather than regretting actions in the past.

In a friendship or romantic relationship, if you act harshly, counteracting the lingering affects may often require apologizing to the person affected. I'm not so sure that apologies in public, open to groups of people you're not friendly or intimate with, are effective as often.

On a separate topic: in US law anyway, a contract is only valid if there's what's called "consideration," that is, both sides must be offering something.

So if I swear up and down, orally or on paper, that I'll mow your lawn every week, that may be a promise, but it's NOT a valid contract. If I fail to follow through, you've got no case. If we agree that you'll pay me 20 bucks each week for mowing your lawn, then (whether the agreement is written or oral) we have a valid contract that can be enforced in court.

Speaking for myself, I reacted emotionally against James Cohen from the very first word of his that I read. I have never met James Cohen in person. But I formed an image of who he was, an image that gave an external form to my deepest unconscious fears about myself -- for example, being a pretentious fraud -- and I disparaged James Cohen on the basis of my immature emotional reaction. That is something I did, and I regret it. If my disparagement of James Cohen hurt him, I should apologize to him, and I do apologize to him.

This might be as good a place as any to say: I am sorry, James Cohen, that I disparaged you because of deep-seated doubt in myself.

In the school I practice with, we say that you can help people by (1) giving them what they need or want. When it's not possible or appropriate to give them something physical, you can help by(2) speaking kindly to them. When kind words don't help, you can alternately(3) teach them the Dharma. And if that won't work, you can(4) act together with them. The main virtue of this option is that it builds trust, so that in the future, if a situation arises where he IS ready to learn Dharma, he'll listen to you.

Apologies seem to mostly fall into category (2). Perhaps I've underestimated their value. In any case, what's been written here gives me a chance to look at the matter.

I grew up on dubbed Ultras, and the court case Mr. Warner details cut me off from Ultraman books for years just as I was getting back into the fandom; it also destroyed any chance I was going to root for That Particular Company. Being reminded that the case is still being fought (still? oy vey) was a little bittersweet.

It is, however, good to know the guy who had to answer the questions coming from that strange kid over the other side of the puddle is still doing OK. At least, I certainly hope he is! :)