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Dear Seagoat #2: Love Trauma-Rama

Dear Seagoat!

I am just starting a new relationship. It seems to be going wonderfully. Lots of flirting, lots of sweetness. But then, alas, I looked back at an old relationship that started around June 2012, and ended, flamingly! in fall of 2013. The new relationship seems nice but I’m scared it’s just like the old one, because when I think about it, they all start off nice!…what do the stars say? Please help!

— Superlatively Suspicious Scorpio

Dear Sss,

Let’s talk about love. Also, hurricanes.

In astrology, we’re all constantly experiencing different kinds of astrological weather, which we call, “transits.” Some transits are no big deal. A little drizzle on your freshly styled ‘do, a sunburn that brands your sunglasses into your face, etc.* Other times, we get hit by the equivalent of a Hurricane Sandy and the best we can do is saran-wrap our photo albums and prepare the lifeboats.

Pluto transits usually correspond with a grief process—those “flaming” losses that double us over in pain. All for a good cause, though: whatever it touches, Pluto regenerates. Death and rebirth—wholesome, if not much fun.

Getting rebirthed in this case is Venus, your love planet. Like literal birth, the process can be a little, um, sticky? (read: F*CKED UP). So, biiiiig round of applause for getting back in the love saddle. Thump your boxing gloves together! Dance with one of those oversize foam hands! You’re a champ!

Ok, hate me now: Pluto will be squaring your Venus for another six months. But I promise, you’re through the worst.

& Now, About Those Fears:

Pluto breaks up unhealthy relationships. That your last one incinerated under Pluto tells me that the ending—however ugly—was crucial. A before-and-after chapter. (Think of the photos! On a spiritual level, you’re wayyy cuter now.)

To get the best out of this new, sweet relationship, pay attention to what you learned there. If your ex appears to be the villain, look carefully for your role in the dynamic.

Your Venus (relationship planet) in Libra loves to be in love. So much so, that you may find yourself disappearing into relationships at times. While that can feel pleasurable, healthy interdependency happens when two people support each other—and each do their own thing, too. Sometimes Venus in Libra people undermine their relationships by making a zillion compromises. They try so hard to please that they forget what they wanted in the first place. When break-ups happen, Venus in Libra often protests, “It’s not fair. I gave you everything!”

Right now, Pluto is pushing you to own your power. If you do tend to give everything, ask yourself why. Are you afraid of being rejected or being seen as selfish? Is it easier to support someone else than risk pursuing your own goals?

Whatever it is, try a new tactic in the current relationship. Maybe Pluto helped you pick someone who can change with you. Your Scorpio sun nature motivates you to shed old skins. Go for it. Say what you’re afraid to, ask questions and above all, be as open as possible.

At the same time, respect your suspicions. You got hurt. It makes sense to be wary. Scorpios love at a gut-level and have wounds to match. Emotional cuts and scrapes require the usual remedies: time and oxygen. (Ixnay on the Neosporin, though.) Take time to rebuild that trust that’s so important to a Scorpio heart. Finally, though Scorpio loves to keep its wounds tightly bandaged, air your fears. If Sweetheart is a catch, s/he’ll be able to listen, respond and help you heal.

Love,

Seagoat

*A good example of this is the infamous “mercury retrograde.” That, my friends, is drizzle—mucking up our cell phone signals and clogging traffic over the Bay Bridge. (Don’t believe the hype. It’s not really a big deal.)

** also true for anyone with Venus at 9-11 degrees Libra, Aries, Capricorn or Cancer.