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When I want to see an infomercial, I’ll turn on my TV in the middle of the night. I definitely won’t pay good money to see one in a theater.

Case in point: “Burzynski,” which is billed as a documentary but plays like a paid ad. It concerns Dr. Stanislaw Burzynski, a Polish-born doctor who claims to cure brain cancer with animal urine.

An unbiased examination of the claims would be in order, but the director, a former ad man named Eric Merola, will have none of that.

The talking heads are all Burzynski boosters, and there’s no attempt to interview those, like the folks at the FDA, who think the good doctor is a scam artist. To top it all off, “Burzynski” is dull, dull, dull, even for an infomercial. ‘Nuff said.