Bitter sweet is what you've writ. Most excellent story, not what I expected in part one or this--what an agile and ckever mind you have--what an interesting turn of phrase. Sounds just like the beloveds, can so see Spike as he leans over his girl--in his heart and on his face. What a treasure this is. Thank you so much for the writing of it.

Thank you for your kind words. I'm very glad you liked this fic, now one of my oldest. This certainly set the groundwork for the sort of angst I would later write. Part I still holds a special place in my heart. It was my first fic and the first time I really tried to understand Buffy, her pains and her struggles. I've come to love and cherish her as a character, and these initial stories had a lot to do with informing my feelings about her.

OH MY GOD!!!
This is a master piece.
I am really loving the way you write, the way you make me feel the things that happen on the stories, wowwwwwww
This story was really intense and soooooooooooo hot, I gotta say that I am on fire here,lol
Thanks for this amazing story sweetie .
Keep the good work.

Karla

Aw, thanks, Karla. I'm glad you're feeling their struggle and...other things There will be a second part coming at some point. Saying "soon" would be pushing it though.

gosh that was sexy!
I loved Buffy with her memories.
I'm not sure what Buffy is trying to lear from Spike in the final bit, but that's OK - I can be remarkably dense. Especially when I have a clue and I'm not sure I REALLY want to know.

Thanks! I'm glad you mentioned her memories. No one else has and that was my favorite part to write. I really liked considering what sort of past Buffy might yearn for and construct it.

LOL, well, all I'll say is that Spike will now be on the receiving end of what Buffy just experienced. In addition to learning how to give pleasure (instead of just take), Buffy also wants to learn from Spike how to be gentle and how to get back in touch with the girl she thought was lost to her. She needs his help in learning how to live again.

pretty_in_fangs

04/10/2007 08:58 pm

Show Me How

Wow. That was beautiful and, once again, amazingly cathartic.

She didnâ€™t want to be wrong anymore.

Whew. So heart-wrenching.

She's definitely getting there.

Thanks so much for your review! I was definately going for cathartic and the healing process takes baby steps. Buffy and Spike have a long way to go, but they're working through it.

*squee* I'm delighted you picked up on that line. No one else has. Her breakdown to Tara in "Dead Things" is one of the most heartbreaking moments on the show and her plea "Tell me that I'm wrong, please!" as a way to justify her horrifying behavior really touched me. In order to heal though she needs to give that mindset up and so I referenced that terrible moment.

This is just masterful. It's impossible to categorize this, but whatever this is, you a master at it. This is just so beyond mere "PWP." I'm totally dumbstruck, ClawOfCat.

It's incredibly well-conceived and executed, and your expertise at subtly employing symbols and motifs is just postitively spellbinding. There's true artistry in this fic (and the preceding one), and its clear you care depply about you're characters.

Not only that, but even though this stands on its own, the connecting thread between this fic and the last is really strong. I highly recommend other reader tucking into "The Heart of Her," first.

Anyway: bravo, kudos and thanks!

With these two stories I wanted to A) write about little seen kink, and B) use taboo acts as a way to reveal deeper truths. Taboo sex acts are labeled as such because they are intense, frightening, and often take a lot of trust. By using them in this way, I not only want people to enjoy the fic, but also reevaluate what sort of value judgements they may place on these things.

You continue to flatter me with your kind words. Your reviews are the best I've ever received. I really appreciate that you picked up on all the hidden symbolism in these fics. No one else has mentioned that and I took a lot of care to thread the motifs throughout the story. Here the obvious one is the use of fists and hands, but also the continuous thread of art and the shaping of things. The bruises Buffy leaves on Spike, the pottery, the way she touches him at the end, and ultimately the fact that Buffy must reshape herself from nothing, like the pottery from clay. This is her chance to try and make her life different.

After quite a few requests to continue this, which I hadn't anticipated doing, I think I might take the opportunity to try a fic from Spike's POV. If I go there and have her anally fist him, I think a lot of interesting power dynamics could arise, especially ones that Spike would likely be happier to forget (i.e. Angelus). I have to ponder where I want the two of them to go from here. Obviously, this is a series focusing on healing and I have to consider the big picture before I continue.

smlcspike

04/10/2007 02:33 pm

Show Me How

Oh please tell me there is going to be more.

Ther just might be It seems that many want to see this continue, so I might write a continuation of this encounter from Spike's POV.

Wow, that was so erotic, he's breaking down the walls and letting her feel again. Hope there's a series of these one-shots. Like these so much better then canon. Excellent work, thanks.

*blushes* You flatter me! Better than canon? Wow. Due to requests from reviewers like yourself, I am considering continuing this encounter and writing the next installment from Spike's POV as he will be on the receiving end of the kink. I have to formulate where I want to go with it, but I too really like this "healing verse" I've set up and would love to see where this healing process will lead them.

golddrake

04/10/2007 03:22 am

Show Me How

great story, very hot, can't wait for more.

Very glad you enjoyed this! As for more, I'll have to figure out where I want to go with this since I conceived of each installment as a one-shot.

Carole

04/10/2007 03:21 am

Show Me How

Stunning. I find it incredible how the first sentence colors the last. Turns it right around. Her fears. His fears. I want this to continue but if it ends here it's enough. More than sex, more than kink, this is a great story of intimacy. Looking forward to reading more of your writing.

Thank you for your wonderful review. I'm glad you were able to see past the obvious (hot sex) and take away the intimacy and healing that Buffy and Spike are experiencing together. I hadn't intended on continuing this, but do to public demand I may write a continuation of this encounter from Spike's POV, since he will now be the one on the receiving end of the kink. If you liked this, I encourage you to read the prequal to it, which is archived here as well. It may clarify some of the emotional context we find the characters in at the start of the story.

Disclaimer
If you are under the age of 17, please use your head and do not read fics that are labeled "NC-17". Parents, I cannot control what your children are reading, so please be advised that the majority of the fics archived here are NOT suitable for those under the age of 17.
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I am in no way making any profit from this site. This is for pure entertainment purposes only.