That's kind of the whole point. The event—put on by Willamette Week—pairs amateur homebrewers with Portland's best breweries and cideries to come up with utterly unique brews the world has never tasted before.

For that reason, it's sort of a hard thing to preview.

Sure, brewers supply scraps of information, which amounts to a brief description of the beverage and its ingredients. But for the most part, all we really have to go on is the name.

A name, however, can tell you a lot. And so, here are our power rankings of all 32 entries going into this year's competitions—based on nothing but what their creators decided to call them.

1. Rowdy Roddy Pilsner (Super Cold Pilsner)

Ritch Marvin with Breakside

ABV: 5.2% IBU: 20

Analysis: Not only is it a tribute to the greatest pro wrestling heel of all time but a legendary Portlander to boot. Don't you dare tell me he was actually Canadian—it's still real to me, damn it!

2. #squadgourds (Gourd Spice British Strong Ale)

Andrew Bisbee with Binary Brewing

ABV: 7.4% IBU: 18

Analysis: "#squashgoals" would've made more sense, but it's not nearly as fun to say out loud.

3. The Wrath of Pecan (Pecan Bock)

Jason Jaime with Ascendant

ABV: 6.2% IBU: 31

Analysis: Sounds like a Ben and Jerry's flavor, but it's hard to deny the mental image of William Shatner screaming about nuts.

Analysis: On the one hand, the word has a classy mouthfeel. On the other, it's also got the word "pee" in it.

11. Confuggled (Hopped Cider)

Roxanne Kilpatrick with Portland Cider Company

ABV: 7.5% IBU: N/A

Analysis: Anything that apparently uses Fuggle hops gets a thumbs up, if only because "Fuggle Hops" sounds like a lost British Invasion band.

12. Summer Loving (Brut IPA)

Coyan Corder with Evasion Brewery

ABV: 7.5% IBU: 15

Analysis: According to the brewers, the beer, made with Australian hops, is specifically a tribute to Olivia Newton-John and her Aussie heritage. We would've gone with Xanabrew in that case, but hey, that's cool.

13. Spicy Grandma (Cardamom and Habanero Infused Cider)

Corrie Heath with Avid Cider Co.

ABV: 6.2% IBU: N/A

Analysis: Isn't this also the title of the direct-to-VOD sequel to Dirty Grandpa, starring Cloris Leachman and Timothee Chalamet?

Analysis: We really don't need to be giving Sean Combs any more ideas.

18. Are You Yeti for a Great Beer? (Belgian Dubbel)

Brandon Kilpatrick with Sasquatch

ABV: 7.0% IBU: 20

Analysis: All right, who let their dad name the beer?

19. Red Zeppelin (India Red Ale)

Barry Webb with Leikam Brewing

ABV: 6.0% IBU: N/A

Analysis: All right, who let their dad name their beer?

20. Drinkin' the Kool-Aid (New Kewl Thing)

Gordon Penner and Jack Hall with Level Beer

ABV: 5.9% IBU: N/A

Analysis: Cults are definitely in this year, but associating a beverage with Jonestown is maybe not the best marketing idea.

21. Pie Graff (Graff Cider)

John Drake with New West Cider

ABV: 4.6% IBU: 20

Analysis: Nerds!

22. Theosophy (Rye Saison)

Dwayne Smallwood with Luke Barrett, Fort George Brewery

ABV: 7.8% IBU: N/A

Analysis: Hippies!

23. Kick Out the Jams (Pale Ale)

George Dimeo with Gigantic

ABV: 6.2% IBU: 31

Analysis: Motherfucker!

24. Eis-toberfest (Oktoberfest Lager)

Mike Marsh with McMenamins Edgefield

ABV: 11.5% IBU: 42

Analysis: Well, it's definitely gonna get you drunk.

25. Mugolio Pine Bud Cider (Conifer-Infused Cider)

Miranda Karson with Swift Cider

ABV: 6.5% IBU: N/A

Analysis: From the brewer: "Mugolio is a one-of-a-kind, wild-grown product made by forager Eleonora Cunaccia in Trento, Italy. She is one of a few local residents given permission to gather by hand the tender young buds of the Mugo pine in early May." Sounds good to me.

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A native Southern Californian, Arts & Culture Editor Matthew Singer gentrified Portland in 2008. He is an advocate for the canonization of the Fishbone and Oingo Boingo discographies, believes pro-wrestling is a serious art form and has no interest in Game of Thrones. He is also a Lakers fan. Unfortunately, he doesn't plan on leaving anytime soon.