I'm typing this on my phone at 6 am, because I can't leave the bedside. In a good way.

I still have to use the bathroom at least once a night. Old habits die hard.

Typically, when I get up, Bean notices immediately, and will fuss until I'm back in bed. This morning, I came back to him peacefully sleeping. Which is why I'm typing this at 6am, standing beside my bed. I can't stop staring at his sweet face. I wish I had a photographic memory. *click!*

It's incredible to me still just how quickly babies grow, particularly mine. He's already looking so much more like a little boy than an infant that it makes my heart ache a little.

A week from today, he will be 4 months old. Where does the time go?

Recently, he's been trying harder and harder to sit up on his own. He'd rather be sitting up than laying down, most of the time.

He's no longer interested in just his own hands, but in mine and Bear's hands, too. He grabs on to individual fingers and moves them around, bending and turning them with intense interest.

He has also been studying how and what we eat. He hasn't shown any interest in any for himself yet (thank goodness!), but he intently watches every bite we take. I think he's trying to figure out what that stuff is and why we put it in our mouths. With the exception of a few bottles of expressed breast milk, the only things he's had in his mouth are boobs and his own hands! While eating dinner last night, Bear mentioned that he thinks Bean is going to wean early. I sure hope not! I'm willing to start him eating food, if he is ready, at 6 months, but I still want to breastfeed at least a year. My heart will break if this part of our relationship ends sooner.

He is almost double his birth weight now, several inches longer. If you had asked me a month ago if I wanted him to stay that little, I would have (laughingly) said no. However, if you were to ask me now, I would give an emphatic YES! He's just the perfect size, and the exact mix of dependence and independence that makes me feel needed but not overwhelmed.

Unfortunately, I cannot stop it, so I will crawl into bed and snuggle my little man for as long and as much as I can. <3