A forum for Disciplined Husbands and Their Significant Others to Share regarding F/m Domestic Discipline and Female Led Relationships. No offense to our friends in the BDSM and Master-slave communities, but that's not really what this blog is about.
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Saturday, October 25, 2014

Hi all. I hope you had a great week and are out enjoying the October weather. I am getting off to a bit of a slow start today, so let's get to it.

This week's topic is about sex. Got your attention, didn't I?

But, I'm about to spoil it. Instead of talking about sex and DD, let's talk about efforts to remove the sexual component from discipline? Is sex inextricably bound up in your disciplinary efforts or, on the other hand, have you tried to remove it in order to make the discipline just that -- discipline. For example, do you ban sex after a spanking? Some people also advocate "milking", i.e. requiring masturbation before the spanking in order to remove the sexual component from the spanking itself and to remove the sex as an offset to the pain of a real disciplinary spanking.

So, let us know what efforts, if any, you make to segregate spanking and sex.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Folks, just a quick note. I have posted a new poll. This one is the essence of simplicity. For those who are in a domestic discipline relationship, who initiated it -- the party receiving the discipline or the party giving it? Given this blogs orientation toward F/m disciplinary relationships, the receiver would usually be the male and the giver the woman, but I didn't want exclude responses from those visitors who may be practicing M/f domestic discipline. And, I would like to keep this one focused on DD, not spanking in general, because the relationship dynamics may be very different and, for this poll, I'm interested in hearing from those who are practicing DD, not spanking for purely erotic or entertainment purposes.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Hello all. I hope you had a good week and are enjoying what is
proving to be, in my neck of the woods, a really gorgeous Autumn.

Our
poll related to professions is closed, so let's make that the subject of
this week's Forum. The results are in, and they are:

Doctor/Medical Provider

3
(2%)

Lawyer

13
(12%)

Accountant

4
(3%)

Teacher

5
(4%)

Other Profession

14
(13%)

Business Executive

12
(11%)

Business Non-Executive

5
(4%)

Engineer/Technology

17
(15%)

Business Owner

16
(14%)

Other

18
(16%)

Admittedly,
this poll was about as unscientific as it could possibly be, suffering
from among other things, a small sample size, a self-selected set of
respondents, selection bias on the part of its author in choosing the
categories, and probably a host of other problems that a trained
statistician could point out. But, even with a sample of only 107
self-selected respondents, a few interesting points worth discussing
emerge.

First, members of the medical community either are not very interested
in domestic discipline, do not visit domestic discipline or spanking
oriented blogs very often, or are very shy when it comes to filling out
polls. I am, I admit, a bit puzzled by that one, because I have always
believed that DD appeals to a lot of Alpha Males and guys with "control
freak" tendencies or high-pressure jobs, and the medical profession
seems to be chock full of those. Or maybe I'm just projecting the attributes that seem to drive my own DD-oriented needs onto others.

Among those who are into DD, lawyers, business executives and business owners are over represented. I also am a little surprised at how many engineers and technology professionals are represented, as I don't associate that group with the Alpha Male and "controller" archetypes that I usually associate with DD. But, again, that observation may be, and likely is, no more than my own biases shining through. Of course, the biggest problem with this poll is that the percentages may not reflect relative interest or participation in DD as much as being in a profession or personal situation that lends itself to having time and freedom to explore the blogosphere and find things like our Disciplined Husbands Forum.

Finally, "other" and "other professional" are, in combination, the largest block of respondents. Which could indicate either that we have a very diverse group of visitors to this blog or that I did a really poor job of selecting job categories and left out one or two large segments of the DD community.

So, let's focus on that as part of this week's topic: For those who are willing to share, what job, career or profession are YOU in, and what, if any, connection do you think there is between that job and your interest in DD? Did the same personality factors that lead you into that career also influence your interest in DD? For instance, if you are inclined to submit to your wife's authority, are you similarly submissive to authority at work. Or, is the inverse true and you feel attracted to DD as a way of giving up the control you exercise on the job or, particularly for our Disciplinary Women, does exercising power and control in your marriage reflect any power dynamics in your work life?

I know that talking about jobs and professions may be sensitive for some, given that many do not want to reveal too much about themselves. If there are sensitivities on that score (and there are for me), I would suggest posting your comment anonymously and not signing the name or pseudonym you usually use when participating in this blog.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Hello all. Happy Saturday. Another beautiful fall day where I live. I hope you all had a good week. A few weeks ago, one of our community members sent me an email with a topic suggestion. (I'm not using his name because I'm not sure whether he is OK with me doing that.) His suggested topic is one I will use in the future, but what intrigued more was that he told me he is a success coach who incorporates spanking into his coaching sessions.

Now, setting aside that that has to be about the coolest job in the entire world, it suggested an interesting topic regarding non-traditional uses of DD. In our household, discipline is used primarily to correct bad behavior. I do something wrong or make Disciplinary Wife angry, and she punishes that behavior.

But, what about using spanking as a motivator for positive behavior or performance enhancement. Maybe you need to lose some weight and aren't good at sticking to an exercise routine.

Or maybe you didn't perform at your best in some contest, and your wife helps make sure there is a consequence for giving less than your best effort.

Disciplinary Wife and I have talked a lot about incorporating more such "motivational discipline" into our DD lifestyle, but we never seem to really make it happen. How about you? Does your disciplinarian (spouse or otherwise) act as a "success coach"? Do you want her to?

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Hi all. Happy Saturday. I hope you had a good week. This week's topic is about corner time. A few weeks ago we talked about chastity. It was something Disciplinary Wife and I don't practice and in which I have no personal interest, but I still wanted to hear about it since it seems to be a part of many other couples' disciplinary routine. Corner time is another practice frequently associated with domestic discipline, and it is another practice that we don't personally engage in. Yet, unlike with chastity, I am intrigued by it to the point of considering asking Disciplinary Wife to work it into our relationship. It is a little hard for us to do that, however, given our usual routine, as unlike some disciplinary couples, we have not set up a strict separation between discipline and sex. In fact, for us, discipline usually is followed by sex, and corner time would add time to the whole process, and we are frequently already tired and needing sleep after a long week. But, it still interests me enough to think about how we might incorporate it.

So, what role, if any, does corner time play in your relationship? If you do engage it, is it always an after-spanking event, or do you sometimes use it independently of spanking? What purpose does it serve? Is it additional form of punishment? Or maybe something designed to allow the punished party to more fully contemplate his actions and what just happened to him? Or, is it another way for the disciplining party to exercise their control and dominance?