Where the hell I’ve been

ByHeather B. ArmstrongNovember 29, 2016

Earlier this year I hinted that I was making some changes in my life so that I would not have to travel so much for work—for my mental health, for my physical health, and so that I didn’t have spend so much time at the airport away from my kids. By June I had flown over 70,000 miles in just six months, having visited four different countries, three different hemispheres, and Arkansas.

I was also very quiet during the whole election cycle, and the reason for that is as layered as a giant red onion. But this change in my life is the skin around that onion, the main reason I didn’t and couldn’t post a weekly rant or round up of the insanity and recklessness displayed by anyone—especially the media—in normalizing the disgusting character of Donald Trump.

I say couldn’t to show you my deeply flawed frame of reference. On November 9, 2016, I woke up as a white woman in America whose life would go on uninterrupted by what had happened the day before. I was shocked and stunned like every other comfortably numb white liberal who was lounging around in a paradigm built out of the idea that we have made progress. Look at how far we have come! We have healthcare! And marriage equality! And overtime protection!

And frankly, we only have to confront or associate with racism when passing the cornbread stuffing at Thanksgiving.

Right.

We truly believed that our kids were going to be lucky enough to grow up in a country celebrating not only its first black president but also it’s first woman.

Instead, we watched as half of the voting population either bought into or celebrated or overlooked the bigoted, racist, homophobic, and misogynistic rhetoric of the most repugnant bully ever handed a microphone.

We didn’t do or say or demand enough. White America. This is our mess. And every think piece written in the weeks after that says we didn’t do enough to listen to the white, working class who feels ignored, each one of those pieces should begin with, “Dear Liberal Cis White People…”

Because the disenfranchised population in this country have no responsibility whatsoever to do that work. Black people should never bear the burden of trying to empathize with a white man in Wisconsin who—because he is barely scraping by—voted for a man who promised to fix that by demonizing the disenfranchised and advocating acts of violence against them.

That’s our work, white people. We are the ones who need to listen to the white working class, to those who are afraid of losing their way of life, who fear that which is different even if that fear is misguided. We have to have those conversations, and we must do so with intention. Because as much as we pride ourselves on understanding how oppressive systems work, how they have been established over and over in this country since its inception to preserve the power and status of white men and women, we have done fuck all in bridging the vast divide that exists between us and those who would deny the very idea of an oppressive system, those who think that every American was born at the starting line when in fact so many were born outside the stadium and refused entrance.

I should have written more, reached out more, followed and joined conversations about how and why these people feel ignored. We like to think that our issues and passions as white liberals are rooted in our love of people, in wanting the liberties we enjoy as a birthright to extend to every American and every person who wants to come to America. We vote primarily with the idea in mind that we are only one small part of a much larger whole. And if we want the population of this country who overlooked the repugnant parts of Trump in the interest of themselves—to the exclusion of everyone else—to start to see outside the walls of their own home, we are the ones who have to help them open that door.

We think we are mad and angry and offended by this election. Our righteous white indignation is an affront to those people who woke up on November 9, 2016 faced with an administration that will terrorize their lives.

……

Earlier this summer I joined the team of a nonprofit called Farm Forward as their Director of New Media. This is where I have been and what I have been doing for the last five months.

Wait. I’m still not done talking about the election. Stay with me until the end.

Farm Forward is an advocacy group fighting to end factory farming and the atrocities it continues to commit against workers, the environment, and especially animal welfare. The story of how I got involved with Farm Forward unfolded in classic dooce® fashion when the wife of its Executive Director read the post I wrote last December about Eating Animals, a book written in close connection with Farm Forward’s founder.

I think the conversation between the two of them went something like this:

Her: “BEN! dooce wrote about Eating Animals!”

Him: “dooce? Am I supposed to know what that is?”

Through a mutual friend I soon got to know Executive Director Ben Goldsmith, and over vegan meals we’d swap stories about politics, religion, and food. Sure, many of the Farm Forward team members follow a plant-based diet, but what sets this organization apart from other animal advocacy groups is the fact that we recognize that people are going to eat meat. And so we approach the dilemma with that reality in mind:

How do we return to a system of farming that is ethical and sustainable?

How do we restore power to the independent farmer whose generations-old, family-owned business is being crushed by the industrialized system?

How can we stand up for the communities and municipalities being polluted and destroyed by factory farms?

And most importantly, how do we change a system in which billions of animals every year are sentenced to lives spent entirely in abject horror?

Ben and I happened to meet at a pivotal moment for both me and the organization. I desperately needed to work closer to home, and they needed someone to help them tell the story of who they are and what they do. Although they’ve been around for 10 years, it’s hard even for the brilliant minds who do this work to explain succinctly how they go about it. They work closely with institutions and universities, but they also do outreach work with religious organizations. They have helped craft the largest and most stringent animal welfare certifications in the country while also building tools for consumers. It can feel like it’s all over the map when in fact every component of it falls within an overarching strategy:

If we want to end factory farming, we have to change the way the nation eats and what they tell themselves about what they eat.

This brings me back to Eating Animals, a book that changed the narrative for me about the food on my plate. Eating Animals is being turned into a documentary film executive produced by Natalie Portman. We are confident that this film will introduce new audiences to the worst and best of animal agriculture and invite them to think about eating animals in new ways. And it has been my honor to work with photographers and designers and developers to rebrand and repackage Farm Forward so that, at a glance, we have a story.

Today is #GivingTuesday, and this year it’s more important than ever that we reach our end of year fundraising goal given that we’re facing a new administration whose agriculture advisory committee will include outspoken opponents of animal welfare policies. Let’s be honest. This new administration will include outspoken opponents of welfare policies PERIOD. We will have to work harder than ever.

……

I threw myself into this work because I believe in this movement and have a platform that I can use to elevate and promote it. I want to leverage this platform (and the skill set I have developed while building all of this) for something much bigger than myself. Anyone who works in the nonprofit world will tell you that the demands of the job are often grueling—just like any other job—and other than this work I’ve done nothing else but take care of my kids. I’ve had my head down in all of the documents and proposals and spreadsheets, all the duties that any one of us must attend to in our work. Add to that all the responsibilities I have to my kids and the fact that I am alone in those responsibilities, and more often than not I have felt like the most I could possibly do or ask of myself is make it to the end of the day in one piece.

I couldn’t possibly add my voice to what was happening during the election. My life looks like a game of Jenga, and one unexpected sneeze could knock the whole thing over.

But this thinking is the same mindset of someone who would vote only in their self interest, of someone who has put on blinders. We are thinking, “I can’t attend to your problems when my problems are about to swallow me whole.” This is our deeply flawed frame of reference.

I too am struggling with the results of the election. I know that as a heterosexual white male living in a mostly democratic leaning area that I will not be effected on a day to day basis by the ugliness being encouraged by the person elected to be our next president. However, I still feel like someone has punched me in the gut whenever I’m reminded of who our president elect is. I want to make sure that I am doing all I can to help those who need help when faced with racism, sexism, bigotry, etc. and so I am constantly looking for tips and ideas on how best to do that.

I freaking LOVE this and you and your words and your understanding on what we, the rest of the world, sees when we look your country and this debacle. Thank you. And thank you for your work with Ben Goldsmith. x

Chantell

I’m an upper-middle class Hispanic female lawyer who places herself on the opposite side of the political spectrum from you. I still enjoy your writing and am glad to know your perspective. Viva cuba libre!

Leigh

I am so happy for you, and I am so glad to “hear” your voice again. I wish we had known six months ago what we ought to be doing and saying; I don’t think any of us knew just how much work needed to be done, or how urgent it was. I hope it’s not too late.

Kristy Phillips Merrill

Heather, I am so excited about your teaming up with Farm Forward! It just got a little brighter in here.

On the day after the election, I walked around in a daze and kept thinking, “I’m a white woman. My life isn’t going to change.” It makes me think we needed this punch in the gut. I could do without the repercussions but even though I grew up in poor, rural Southwest Virginia (in the actual birthplace of NASCAR and moonshine!) it’s hard for me to believe that America would respond to such hate-filled rhetoric. So perhaps I shouldn’t speak for America as a whole, instead I’ll just speak for myself. I needed the punch in the gut.

Frank Purrkins

Finding out that you’re throwing your experience and reach behind the anti-factory farm movement is the best thing I’ve heard in a long time. I could go on about how about the myriad issues and thoughts regarding animal abuse on this scale but you know them and you’re helping get the word out is a significant way. So, I’ll just say thank you very, very much. Very much.

RzDrms

A few comments/questions:

(1) Does Farm Forward consult and/or work closely with Temple Grandin? If not, why not?
(2) Regarding your middle two questions related to dealing with the dilemma/reality of people continuing to eat meat: are there ways to tie the answers back to the white, working class who feels ignored, to listen to them, to those who are afraid of losing their way of life, who fear that which is different even if that fear is misguided.
(a) “How do we restore power to the independent farmer whose generations-old, family-owned business is being crushed by the industrialized system?”
(b) “How can we stand up for the communities and municipalities being polluted and destroyed by factory farms?”
(3) Consider working with the white working class to both help solve those two questions AND pay attention to them from a perpendicular direction than what they were hoping from Trump. Help build them up in a compassionate, caring, productive way while at the same time *modeling* compassion, inclusion, open-mindedness, and a variety of cultures and beliefs. Win, win, win.
(4) Email me if you want free assistance in any of this.

Michael Mathews

I can relate to those feelings as a middle-aged white man, but I’m worried my marriage might be voided. I can pass as straight but who wants to go back to those days. Every single name tossed around so far is anti-gay.

Lance

Welcome back. I envy your travel experiences. I related and hung on each word. It took me three weeks to blog something that didn’t sound like a 16-year-old who got grounded for a D in Algebra and couldn’t take the car out on a saturday night. We, and by we I mean white folks, need to listen, help, volunteer and fight where and when needed.

Viva la Resistance

Karen Jones

Thank you for bringing Unilever’s efforts to my attention. I needed to be reminded that anyone (corporations are people, right?) can change. They aren’t the big bad ogre they once were. Does it stink that they’re absorbing so many family farms and private companies? Yes. Is it good that they’re now making an effort to embrace and continue more sustainable practices? Yes, that’s good too.

Michelle Boehm

I’m with you. I am terrified, anxious, depressed – but mostly, I am nearly consumed with disappointment in myself. I feel like I’ve failed my children. I also am going to be better.

Jenny

Thank you and welcome back. I have been struggling with feeling totally overwhelmed by the number of senators I should call about a million issues and all of the other ways I feel I need to be working to help in the wake of this election. It’s caused me a great deal of anxiety (as a fulltime working mom too), so I’ve been trying to tell myself that doing little things slowly is ok, just don’t get so overwhelmed that you do nothing. Reading your post makes me feel better, you always write about these things so well, I’m feeling less overwhelmed so I can pick up the phone again.
Thank you

I heart you. Glad you are back and look forward to reading more about your new adventure.

Ann Napolitano

You rock, Heather. Reading Eating Animals changed my life, and how I eat, five years ago. I appreciate your honesty, and your willingness to bare your struggles with us.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

Latest Pin

Latest Instagram

dooce® is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com, and is also a RewardStyle, Shopsense, and Stitch Fix Affiliate.