What time and when are the CHURNies local journalism awards?

It sometimes feels like it’s always awards season in Birmingham — in fact it’s been said we have the second longest awards season in Europe — because if there is a drum to be banged or a trumpet to be blown you can can guarantee that there will be a Brummie standing nearby, claiming that they own it and ready to have a go. And behind that Brummie, press ticket in hat, is a reporter from the Post and Mail. But Quis scribet ipsos scriptores? Who is looking at the real skills of the footsoldiers of our local media?

Those pounding the streets of Tweetdeck and the editorial inbox, we salute you.

Today we launch the Championing Urban Brum’s Real Notetakers awards — inelegantly varied as the CHURNies — celebrating local journalism excellence, from SEO to good Tweeting practise, from erm SEO to desk-based news gathering, with a side order of fries served in a old shoe in order to review the latest craft beer street food hangout. Who will come to our literal opening of an envelope? Who but the Evening Mail will live blog it?

We are now accepting nominations in the following categories:

Best clickbait headline (please note that the winner of this award will certainly not ‘surprise you’)

Best live blog of the opening of a shop

Best uncritical article on mixed-use redevelopments

Most breathless prose about new fast food outlet in a train station

Best journalist fallen into the pocket of a council as a press secretary

Best article inflaming base readership to make comments about ‘the gypsies’ or ‘the moslems’ that then go unmoderated because “we don’t believe in censorship”

Most half-assed intro to an article on the Facebook

Best Tweet asking if they could use your photo of an incident (with credit)

Best use of Google Street View screengrabs to illustrate a crime report

Samuel L Jackson award for the best repurposing of a fake news story from the internet, applying the words “some people think” and then sitting back and watching the numbers

Best survey to be taken before reading article

Best out-of context use of data to make Birmingham best (outside of london) or worst at something.

Outstanding repurposing of a legal firm press release

The ‘We miss the Sports Argus’ award for the outstanding use of Wikipedia in an article about an unlikely transfer target

Best ‘what time and when’ article for a musical or comedy

The Craig Hamilton memorial award for the best version of that article about Birmingham that the Guardian like publishing