Total Soulful Journey

I had a huge realization about marriage when my wife said that she wanted to get divorced. What I learned is that marriage is not about romance. It is actually a contract between two people and the state that determines the rules regarding money, property, child support and more when the marriage comes to an end. It other words, your marriage license is essentially a business contract.

It was reported that ten percent of women in today's world have never experienced an orgasm. It was also reported that 75% of women do not reach orgasm during intercourse. Those are startling, but not shocking statistics.

Romantic love is such a powerful feeling that consumes our minds and our hearts when we first fall in love with another person. It sweeps us off of our feet and makes our minds feel floaty and joyful. All that we want to do is be with this person through this period of high vibration and obsession.

I'm no stranger to open space. I mean this in the energetic sense - the feeling that comes with being alone. In a foreign place, devoid of familiarity. I've moved cities and countries enough times to have become well acquainted with being by myself.

When we’ve been wronged by another person and we’re struggling with the resulting pain, forgiveness may be the last thing on our minds. What we want is justice and it is often demanded in the form of retaliation because we want the person who hurt us to suffer, as well. Getting even, however, does not balance the scales. Instead it may lead to an escalating cycle of more fighting and frustration, which increases exactly what we are trying to push away… unrelenting PAIN.

Do you ever wonder why people make the same mistakes over and over again? The answer to this question is both biological and psychological in my opinion. Patterns in our behavior come from deeply seated habits and beliefs that we have hardwired within our brains. In addition, our love of the chemical neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine can also play a role in promoting our non-productive behaviors, like screen addiction. Once a habit has been developed, it is really easy to repeat it because our brains have developed strong neuro pathways that make it effortless for us to perform these behaviors.

Even if you are not a twin flame, I highly encourage you to read this article because we all ache for love and companionship at one time or another. There is a deep human need to feel connected, valued, safe and loved. From the moment that we are born, we experience separation from our mother and from our creator. Believe it or not, this is one of the reasons that we spend so much time yearning for union with the love of our lives in order to experience the comfort of ONENESS once again.

When we think about soul mates, romantic movies often come to mind. Remember that famous elevator scene in the film,”Jerry McGuire,” where a young man signs “you complete me” to his girlfriend? There’s such a romantic notion that our soul mate is the person who will fulfill all of our needs and finally make us feel complete. Beautiful, right?

Betrayal cuts such deep wounds in our hearts and tears at the connective fabric of our relationships. How we treat a loved one in a time of conflict says a lot about our inner turmoil, our character and where we are along our spiritual path.

Years ago in the heat of divorce my ex and I had numerous shouting matches. The less that we felt like we were being heard by one another, the louder our voices became. Our daughter, who is a very wise young adult, finally intervened saying, “Stop mom and dad! This is going nowhere!” She was right. I was fighting to save our marriage, but it was already over. There was nothing more that I could say to turn the boat around. The only healing option was to accept this new reality, forgive and move on.

We are not only what we say we are, but more truthfully we are the sum total of our actions. Character matters because it is the foundation on which trust is created between people. This particularly matters in business relations, as well as in intimate relationships where trust is absolutely necessary.

People who say one thing and then do something totally contrary have no credibility. Word is bond. It’s how we learn if we can trust one another, and trust is something that we have to earn. It is not an entitlement. It can take years to earn trust and only a careless moment to lose it all forever. We all know about physical and emotional affairs, but it is also dishonest to lead someone on if you have no intentions of being committed to that person who loves and honors you.

This week I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life regarding healthy boundaries. It was very sad to do, yet completely necessary. Just typing that sentence has made my left hand start to shake. I can intellectualize my choice, but perhaps my body is telling me that there is so much more that I do not even know about this situation. Maybe there is a resistance that doesn’t want me to share such intimacy with you, buried emotions that aren’t ready to be reveal, or an invisible thread that wants to pull me back?

Fear and anxiety are so pervasive these days. Amongst our biggest fears is the fear that we are not good enough. This leads to other fears like the fear of failure, the fear of abandonment and the fear that we will never be loved. If only we could realize that these fears are illusions, we could then break the grip that they hold over us, banish our anxiety and start living the beautiful lives that we were born to live.

Don’t get me wrong. Life will always have its tests and trials. Challenges and obstacles are necessary in to teach us the lessons that will help us to grow wiser and stronger. As humans we have a natural tendency to resist adversity. We would rather ignore it with the hope that it will go away on its own. Our resistance, however, creates more anxiety and pain in our lives. It also makes us feel helpless. In order to reverse this downward spiral, we need to face our fears and ove

Love is the garden that grows in your heart. If you do not tend to it with care, it will wither or become overrun by the weeds of life. This is also true with our minds if we allow them to be consumed by negative thoughts.

A beautiful love garden begins with loving ourselves. As we’ve mentioned before on this blog, we cannot fully love another person until we learn to love ourselves and feel our completeness on our own. Many people seek out intimate relationships with the thought that they need another person to make them complete. By giving our power over to a significant other we place the responsibility for our happiness unfairly upon that person. This may also lead to codependency, neediness and a lack of balance in the relationship. Often times people repeat this pattern over and over with others, wondering why their relationships never work out. Heartache, fear, jealousy, anger, neediness and contempt are weeds to the heart and leave little room for unconditional love and romance to bloom. This creates conflict, drama and resentment, which can lead to a downward spiral.

Conflicts can always be expected in life. We cannot avoid all hard times because sometimes they happen for a reason that is beyond us. People are like magnets or mirrors. We are attracted to what we have within us. And when we are upset by someone either angererd or hurt, that too is a reflection of something within us that causes a rise in emotion. Learning to respond to conflicts rather than reacting to them is key for peaceful resolution. What is the difference?

We all have masculine and feminine energies within us no matter what our physical gender may be. These energies empower and influence us with an array of contrasting traits. Having these duel energies within us allows us to recognize the mirrors of attraction within our potential mates, bringing the male-female connection into a relatable place. When we recognize our qualities within another person we connect with them. If we did not share these traits to some extent, it would be be more difficult to connect, merge and find commonality. Like magnets we are energetically attracted to our polar opposites, as well, and together we find a balance of swirling energy and emotions that lift us up and give us a feeling of being completed. One of the keys to a Total Soulful Journey is knowing how to balance, embrace and honor these energies within ourselves and with each other.

Thanks for your comment, Lona! That’s great that you also don’t drink soda pop. Not only does it have lots of sugar, the CO2 that makes up the carbonation also neutralizes the important acids in our stomachs that we need to properly digest our food.

Total Soulful Journey

Total Soulful Journey is a inspiring blog about living your best life through awareness, acceptance and forgiveness with the goal of elevating our minds, our bodies and our spirits to their fullest potential. This blog will help people find their purpose in life and fulfill the calling of their souls through mindfulness. We'll explore the many aspects of love, health, fitness, yoga, nutrition, cooking, careers, entrepreneurship, travel, and manifesting abundance. Awaken with us on a Total Soulful Journey to becoming the best version of you!

Total Soulful Journey is an inspiring blog about living your best life. It was created by Paul Garrett and Libby McAvoy, who met on Instagram in 2015. They instantly connected over their mutual passion for nature, cooking, travel, fitness, health and wellness, and all things spiritual. Paul is a writer, an award winning filmmaker and an internationally published photographer who lives in the Pacific Northwest. Libby is a yoga instructor, a writer and the creator of the blog, Journey to the Life You Love in Cincinnati, Ohio. Learn more about their mission by clicking on the About tab.