I really fail to see the appeal. Poverty, giving birth all the bloody time. Having to live with other women, yuk! I like to rule the roost thank you very much and do things MY WAY.
He is just a sperm doner who you take your turn with not a father or a husband or a best friend. I might as well use a turkey baster. The obvious fact that the wives are signed up when they are still very young and stupid is another giveaway. No older woman would see the appeal. By the time the younger women realise what they have got themselves into it is too late, as they have had children and have no financial means of support. I watched the above doc and it was sad viewing. 15 year old girls with a yukky beardo weirdo. No thank you.

LesleyNZ

AGREE! Those poor girls………….

unsol

But wouldn’t it be better than cheating where a spouse gives the illusion of being faithful, BFF, etc, but has other women on the side in secret? Or do you think it isnt the same thing?

I have read a few stats that claim 1/3 or even as high as 70% (which seems awfully high) of men cheat on their spouse so am wondering whether perhaps polygamy isnt so bad after all as at least women would get help with the kids & housework….which seems to always full into the hands of women even if they work full time.

I do have concerns about what appears to be a compulsory quaker hair do & frumpy dresses.

But personally I prefer a man who doesn’t cheat & who likes monogamy – like you I am not keen on being married to someone who is barely more than a turkey baster.

It is the same thing yes.I know women who know their husband cheats or has cheated and stay in the marriage. I could never do that. There is a lot I can forgive but infidelity is a deal breaker for me. I don’t share and I expect total loyalty just as I give total loyalty. Really the marriage vows should not only say till death do us part but should also add or until infidelity do us part.

unsol

Me too on both counts. I despise dishonesty on any level, but more so when it is cheating. The concept is gross & devastating. For me though cheating is wanting to hook up, not even necessarily getting that far. So I would never get past a kiss (which let’s face it, when is it ever just that!) let alone going further. I would be angry & devastated at not only the lack of respect for me/what we had (prefer to just be dumped), but also for our child. This is hot on my mind as someone close to us found out the on & off boyfriend of a decade had had other long term girlfriends on the go at the same time. He was living a double life…it was shocking & ludicrous as how people want to make life that complicated is beyond me!

Playing the polygamy card is dumb. Is there any significant pressure in New Zealand to allow polygamy? Not that I’m aware, it’s just another slippery slope straw man.

I’ve not seen anyone asking for or promoting polygamy apart from anti-marriage equality campaigners. Perhaps they should be better be carefull they don’t create interest in it.

LesleyNZ

They are looking into a type of group marriage now in Holland – as they have moved on from gay marriage. Boris Dittrich confirmed this in his interview. Not sure if you would call it polygamy though – marriage of 3 or more – group marriage, couple marriage? Will most likely happen here in NZ in years to come as NZ has followed Boris Dittrich’s (Holland’s) steps to gay marriage.

Pete George

Where’s the evidence that anyone wants to promote polygamy or group marriage in New Zealand?

LesleyNZ

No evidence – not yet – takes time to get used to the idea – that is how it is done – like what has happened with Civil Union and gay marriage.

Pete George

Where is the demand for it?

Or do you think they (whover ‘they’ is)will talk a bunch of people to like the idea that a bunch of people getting married is the in thing to do?

Chris

Peter Dunne’s a supporter.

unsol

So do you think polygamy is worse or better than cheating – one already exists in abundance in many marriages.

Gazzaw

Maybe the next step to be cooked up by Tim Barnett will be for legal gay polygamic marriage.

From another angle just think through the social welfare rorts that polygamic marriages could engender.

unsol

Oh no, so true. Looks like the DPB mums from the getto are going to start getting married……shit.

Travis Poulson

Not a snowballs chance in hell. That would make them ineligible for welfare. (legally anyway)

unsol

Not really……it’s 6 of 1 when you think about it as they would merely be swapping DPB for WFF and the latter actually pays out a shit load more. $70k & 4 kids = $10,000 per year. Let alone $50k & 6 kids…

Travis Poulson

Ahah! Finally! set the trap and weeded out my downvoter!

unsol

Thought you might like that! Here’s another one for you :)

Pete George

I’ve heard rumours of an international plot to establish acceptance in New Zealand of gay multi partner marriages with animals. Be very afraid.

But hang on, I’ve also heard a rumour Opsu Dei is plotting a ridiculous possibility to try and discredit opponents of self pedastaling priests who are anti anyone getting married who they haven’t got under their control.

blokeintakapuna

A couple or three girlfriends in the sack enthusiastically at once I can certainly understand and applaud. A great novel way to make Tuesday nights so much better, but full time for ever and ever…. No thanks.

Gazzaw

So now we know why you don’t post on Tuesday nights BIT.

blokeintakapuna

Haha me wishes. Me wishes…

cows4me

Presumably if gay marriage gets the nod then why not polygamy, after all marriage is just a word, why not spread the love. Are not polgamists loving people with realistionship’s worthy or of equal value to everyone elses?. If you continually compromise your position in the end you have nothing left to compromise. Of course the liberal progressives amongst us would have us believe these are issues of equality and a maturing society, they are either very naive or playing to agenda that will sink us all.

unsol

” If you continually compromise your position in the end you have nothing left to compromise”

Yes, assuming of course your position hasn’t already been compromised – i.e you’re not a cheater….whether past or present.

I can be an alcoholic and still be a proponent of abstinence.
Just because you aren’t above the problem yourself doesn’t disqualify you from having valid opinions.

unsol

“I can be an alcoholic and still be a proponent of abstinence” – if by that you mean an active alcoholic who hasnt admitted they have a problem & then sort help, well no, that would just make you a hypocrite as your actions would counteract against all credibility. Just the same as those who might preach abstinence but still succumb to their sex addiction in private or those who preach purity but regularly scope the girls/boy-girls on K Road.

Anyone can have an opinion – of course, but to declare it as a value to the rest of the world you must first ensure that you are not part of the problem – which for an alcoholic it means step 1 – AA meeting & being upfront with others that you struggle with this issue too.

So in this case, the only way a cheater could possibly have any real standing on cheating or polygamy, is if the audience knows they have cheated. Mistakes happen, people make wrong choices all the time, but to pretend you are perfect, that you are beyond disrepute & then demand others live by a higher standard that you yourself adhere to, well that is just being a hypocrite. Plain & simple.

But perhaps you meant this & I have waffled on more unnecessarily than usual :-)

BJ

How come you take peoples comments so wrong all the time?

Proponent –

Noun

A person who advocates a theory, proposal, or project.

unsol

How come you pop up like a little zit in the wrong places all the time?

Your point is irrelevant BJ – you failed to note the operative word “IF”.

Further, I think even a fuckwit can work out I would know what the word “proponent” means; you did well to stay away from me yesterday, I suggest you do the same today.

Point still stands unless Petal says that by alcoholic he means someone who has admitted to & sort help for their problem. Hence my post which you clearly failed to read.

Oh, but well done for finally picking up a dictionary that you advocate but dont use – at least now you are not a hypocrite in this area. And just to add to your wee pearls of wisdom, your favourite dictionary – Collins, also states:

”

proponent (prəˈpəʊnənt )

Definitions

noun

a person who argues in favour of something

(law) a person who seeks probate of a will”

Note: smart ass tone is because I found this commentator to be nothing more than a common troll.

BJ

You don’t ‘debate’ on here. You scream and rant and argue. You tell everybody what they are saying and get it wrong most of the time. You must be an emotional wreck having to read others minds all the time. Keep it up with the gutter language – I’m sure your husband holds you in high esteem for it.

As a commenter on a blog, don’t you think you are going down a blind alley with this? Can you honestly say that everything you comment on is backed by you having a genuine experience of it? None of it is an opinion based formed on experiences by others? I would find that hard to believe. Have you criticised an MP? Have you been, or are you now, an MP?

unsol

Not at all – like SB & I discussed above, polygamy & cheating are pretty much one & same for me (& her) so I would find it hypocritical for any cheating man to declare that polygamy is immoral. Marriage to me is commitment to one person for life until death or infidelity.

In terms of personal experience – polygamy or cheating it is not something you need to experience in order to know you don’t believe in it. I personally haven’t experienced the rape & murder of my child either, but I know I would rather die than see her go through that kind of suffering.

MP – they are elected to represent us based on what they say they will deliver, so if they muck up, lie cheat or fail to deliver then I will happily criticise.

But I don’t think these things are the point. You said that “I can be an alcoholic and still be a proponent of abstinence” & I said you would be a hypocrite unless you had admitted to & sort help for your alcoholism.

So did you mean an active alcoholic in denial or a recovering one?

unsol

On a completely different note – it is started to rain here now…might go dance on my new roof! :)

BJ

Don’t slip!

unsol

Knew you’d say that…I know you’d be heartbroken, but alas the rain stopped even before it really got underway. Just gotta hope it’s raining where it is needed!

What about swingers? Shouldn’t they be able to get married as a group? Then they would be soooo respectable.

unsol

Have to say I am not a fan of the whole ‘if we have to have a mother-in-law then you should too argument’. Not all mother-in-laws are a nightmare – my parents are fantastic & have been fantastic to us both. My in-laws have been sketchy at times, but in recent years, have been an absolute Godsend, especially my mother-in-law who has been a fabulous babysitter (father-in-law is more of a bystander).

Anyway….!

Marty

My MIL still resents that I stole and turned her baby. Reconciliation will come at the same time North and South Korea decide to do it.

unsol

Stink. I know many stories that are similar – make no mistake, we had major issues with hubby’s parents, but thankfully they saw more value in having a relationship with us & their granddaughter than they did in holding a grudge or refusing to validate our point of view. We had a 3 month stand-off as they disagreed with our stance to ban a cheater from our family life.

Mr_Blobby

Who cares. If I knew many years ago what I know now I would have done things a lot differently.