18Pride
goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. (Prov
16:)

I am a bicycle
rider.

"We know that," you
say, "tell us
something
new."

Ok, I will.

For the past three
hours today, and for
the
last few weeks, I've been searching the web and bike shops looking for
a tire for my bicycle. A no-brainer you say. And indeed it should
be a no-brainer. You just go to the local store and pick up a tire,
just like I've done for over 50 years.

But sometimes the
obvious isn't all it
appears to be.

First I must tell you
that for the past
ten
or so years I've been riding a heavy department store mountain bike,
you know the kind, the one that weighs half a ton and is designed to
take you over hill and dale and anything else that gets in your way.
The tires on these monstrosities match the durability of the bicycle
they are to go on. They also weigh a ton, and the knobby tread on them
is so thick that a railroad spike is unlikely to make a dent in them.

Things change, and me
being a thing, I
change as well. I decided I wanted to go back to riding like the wind
(albeit I ride more winded these days than riding like the wind). So I
bought me a, what is called, "hybrid" bicycle. If you're familiar with
bicycles at all you already know that a hybrid bike is a bike like, yet
unlike
a mountain bike, and ditto a road bike, ditto a comfort bike, ditto,
ditto ditto. Now, I want you to know that I love this bike. Except for
one thing, the tires (but not the wheels) are like, unlike those on my
mountain bike. They're large and full and fully packed, sans the knobs.
(Sans, for those of you who aren't show-offs like I am means
"without.")

Tires for these larger
wheels, called
700c
("C" standing for "confusing") are very easy to find because they're so
popular. I like that. There's just one problem with getting the smaller
tire for this bike, the one I want that will allow me to ride like the
winded: They get lots of flats.

I hate
flats.

There's only two
things I like flat: A
road,
and my pancakes. And even those, when I make them, are far from flat,
but nice and burnt and lumpy. (The pancakes, not the road.)

To deal with the flats
on my nice light
bicycle, I purchased a set of tire liners that are guaranteed to resist
any road obstacle I might encounter. This, added to the guarantee on my
bike tire to not go flat from punctures gave me much confidence.

Until the first nail I
found along the
road.
Guess what? Remember I said the tires are guaranteed to resist flats?
Well, along with the flat tire I also discovered that the guarantee
held as much substance as did the tire to resist flats. ("Of course
it's flat," the bicycle man says, "There's a nail
in it.")

I hate walking. I
especially hate walking
while carrying the conveyance that is supposed to be carrying me.

That's my
ride-like-the-wind bike.

Now, back to my iron horse (which, by the way, is what is written on
the down tube of this bicycle, and for good reason. I hate carrying
horses, especially iron ones).

This is the bicycle I
am trying to find a
tire for. Why, you might ask, am I now looking for a tire for a bike
I've been riding for years. Good question (Please note that I give you
credit for the question I ask. This is a freebee. It may never happen
again, so be on your toes. I do ask questions).
Because I have decided to take a camping tour like in the good old days
when I used to live on the bike is why.

In the good old days, 50 years ago, there was one bicycle style. There
was no mountain bike, comfort bike, hybrid bike, etc, etc, etc. There
was the ten speed. For those of you too young to have grey hair (I feel
sorry for you, grey is beautiful if you haven't heard) the ten speed
bicycle had, you guessed it, ten speeds. No, there was no 24 speed, or
57 speed, not even a 503 speed. These came much later. And there was no
straight handle bars, no moustache bar, no etc, etc bars. There was the
turned down racing bars. If you wanted handle bars that let you set up
higher, you turned those bars upside-down and looked like a geek (which
by the way, there were no geeks back then either. There was no one
smart enough to be geeks in those early years I suppose).

Being that there was
only one style
bicycle,
it followed that there was only one size tire one might purchase, even
if one might want one of another kind. You could buy different treads
(sorry, no bullet-proof knobbies), and tires made by different
manufactures (not the thousand manufactures like there are now, but a
couple or three). Buying a tire was a simple matter. Here's what we did
in the old days. The procedure went exactly like this:

"Mister Bicycle-man, I
would like to buy
a
tire."

"Ok, bud, here."

Zip-boom-bam! You had
your tire.
(Zip-boom-bam, for you with color in your hair that isn't from a
bottle, is the vernacular for "quick'.)

Another interesting
thing about bicycle
tires in those zip-boom-bam days. Those tires didn't go flat. I mean,
they didn't often
go flat. I have 60,000 miles on a bicycle. Except for the past few
years of riding on new technology tires, I can't remember fixing but
maybe 5 flats. I've had to replace a few tires because I could see air
showing through the tube, but I haven't had to turn my bike upside-down
except when I flipped over the handlebars. Yes, that even happened in
the good ol' days.

I've led many groups
of inexperienced
riders
on many long bicycle tours. On one occasion there were twenty of us
riding over 900 miles, all loaded with everything except the kitchen
sink. (Correction, one of the riders had a kitchen sink and a toilet in
his bags, but I made him discard them along the way. Remind you of the
Oregon trail?)

Guess how many flats
we had on that trip?
Awe, go ahead and guess. If you guessed zilch (Old Middle 70's English
for "goose egg") then you were right.

Now, I'm wondering:
Are they making nails
sharper these days? Is the glass shards cuttier? Are the thorns
stickier? Or is it perhaps that technology is producing tires less
prone to staying inflated?

I hate flats. did I tell you that? Well if I didn't, I'm telling you
now, I hate flats.

But I love to ride
like the wind.

I also hate having to
read a dozen forums
and go through hundreds of web pages trying to find a bicycle tire for
my 26 inch bicycle wheel that isquick, puncture proof, yet doesn't ride
as if I'm traveling over cobblestone.

Forums are a great
thing, I mean it, they
really are. It's great to be able to read hundreds of opinions about
something you know nothing about written by people who know nothing
about the subject they're writing about. Forums allow the confused of
this world to realize that they are not alone in their confusion. This
is very important in this confusing world we live in today. It really
is. And if you don't believe me, just ask me, one of the very confused
of this modern world.

As I perused these
confusing and
conflicting
forums searching for information on bicycle tires I noticed one thing:
Nobody knows any more about bicycle tires than I do. Let me qualify my
statement. Nobody who knows anything about bicycle tires is telling us
what they know about bicycle tires. I'm sure they're out there, but
they're too busy riding their flat-free bicycles to tell us flat-ridden
people what they know about staying inflated. And you know what? I
don't blame them. If I had a flat-free bicycle I'd be out riding
instead of reading what other flat-ridden people are telling this
flat-ridden world.

I did find some
information about riding
a
flat-free bike (at least for a few miles, it appears that flats are a
way of life any more). I found that if you want to ride flat-free
(sorta), you have to spend lots of dough. I read "I bought so-an'so
tire for $10,000 dollars and I almost never get a flat, except for
maybe ten times on that flat-free guaranteed tire. But what can you
expect for just a few thousand bucks?"

I hate to change
flats. But I hate even
more
to pay more for my bike tires that last only a couple thousand miles
(maybe) then I pay for my fancy truck tires that are guaranteed to go
at least 70,000 miles, and never go flat.

Is there something
wrong with this
picture?
Or is it just me?

Modern technology is an amazing and a wonderful thing. I mean, just
think: If it weren't for technology we wouldn't have the media to
corrupt our minds, nor the weapons of mass destruction to blow up the
world, or the huge doctor bills we all have the privilege of having to
pay. Yep. It's an amazing thing this technology. And I suspect if
technology allows us to survive for more than a few generations without
destroying our atmosphere, or polluting our water, or taking all the
nutrients out of the food we eat, that we will have advanced to the
stone age.

In the meantime, I
just wish they could
make
a bicycle tire that was as good as the ones they made back in the 70's.

Tumbleweed

Quotes

"It would not be at all strange if history came to the conclusion that
the perfection of the bicycle was the greatest incident of the
nineteenth century." ~Author
Unknown

"The bicycle is the
most civilized
conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more
nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart." ~Iris
Murdoch

"The disastrous
history of our species
indicates the futility of all attempts at a diagnosis which do not take
into account the possibility that homo sapiens is a victim of one of
evolution's countless mistakes." ~Arthur
Koestler

"The progress of
evolution from President
Washington to President Grant [is] alone enough to upset Darwin." ~Henry
Adams, Education, 1907

"Evolution: that last
step was a doozy!" ~Astrid
Alauda

Quotes
from the Bible

2Vanity
of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is
vanity. 3What
profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun? 4One
generation passeth away, and another
generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever. 5The
sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place
where he arose. 6The
wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it
whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to
his circuits.7All
the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is
not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they
return again. 8All
things are
full of labour; man cannot utter it:
the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.
(Eccl 1:)

12Is
not God in the height of heaven? and behold the height of the stars,
how high they are! 13And
thou sayest, How doth God know? can he judge through the dark cloud? 14Thick
clouds are
a covering to him, that he seeth not; and he
walketh in the circuit of heaven.
(Job 22:)

21Have
ye not known? have ye not heard? hath it not been told you from the
beginning? have ye not understood from the foundations of the earth? 22It
is he that sitteth
upon the circle of the earth,
and the inhabitants thereof are
as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain, and
spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in: 23That
bringeth the princes to nothing; he maketh the judges of the earth as
vanity. (Isaiah 40:)

God
speaks of Evolution:

21Have
ye not known? have ye not heard? hath it not been told you from the
beginning? have ye not understood from the foundations of the earth? 22It
ishe
that sitteth upon thecircle
of the earth, and the
inhabitants thereof are
as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain, and
spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in: 23That
bringeth the princes to nothing; he maketh the judges of the earth as
vanity. (Gen 3:)

18Pride
goeth
before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. (Prov 16:)

11Now
all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written
for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. 12Wherefore
let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. (1Cor 10:)

1But
there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be
false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies,
even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift
destruction. 2And
many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of
truth shall be evil spoken of. (2Peter 2:)