Enough with the breast feeding bashing!

May 28, 2015

So today a new breast feeding bashing story has hit the headlines and honestly I’m sick of it. I breast feed my baby because I want to and I believe it is the best for her. I don’t care how you feed your baby. I’m not looking down my nose at you if you are bottle feeding, I’m not high fiving you if you are breast feeding. Believe it or not I just care about my baby and how she is being fed.

Why as a breast feeding mum do I feel like I am constantly treading on egg shells to avoid upsetting other Mums? I’m not trying to make anyone feel guilty/bad/upset it’s just the way I feed my baby! So now you can’t take a picture of your baby being breastfed in case it is seen that you are doing it to make formula feeding mums feel guilty. The thought of making a formula feeding mum feel guilty has never entered my head and I’m sure that other mums who post ‘brelfies’ don’t do it to make formula feeding mums feel guilty or to ‘ram breast feeding down your throat’ either. Perhaps if I posted a picture of me breast feeding my baby with a caption saying ‘look at me I’m breast feeding my baby, all you that formula feed should feel guilty’ I would understand.

I’ve tweeted pictures of me feeding Ava under the #normalisebreastfeeding because that’s what it should be seen as , Normal! Not all the sensationalised stuff you see in the media, it’s just a way to feed your baby. Why ‘brelfies’ have been made into a negative I really don’t understand. Most mums who breast feed do so discretely and I’m so sick of the formula feeding/breast feeding divide that the media seems intent on constantly stirring. Please Mums can we all just support each other. Motherhood is a tough enough job without all the drama!

Well said hun. I think a lot of mums get unfairly criticised over how they feed their baby. As a mum who wanted to bf but couldn’t for endless medical reasons, I don’t get upset when I see women take brelfies or talk about how naturally it came to them. I encourage it and would like to see more of it in the media/social media.
I agree with you, breastfeeding needs to be ‘normalised’. I’m not quite sure how something so ‘natural’ has been made to seem alien. It actually baffles me that a lot of the judgement/criticism comes from the older generation! How the heck do they think they were fed? As a child, I remember seeing women breastfeeding in cafes and restaurants without shame or judgement. I really hope we can get back to that! Bxx
#normalisebreastfeeding

I haven’t seen what’s in the news today but I agree with you! I think it’s fantastic that you want and are able to breastfeed. I’ll admit that I true and couldn’t and whilst I find it a bit sad that I couldn’t. I don’t get upset by mummies who can breastfeed. At the end of the day if mummy and baby are happy – whether breast or bottle then who cares!

(I did blog about my experience of breast feeding but it was a comment meant to help others who couldn’t to feel that it’s ok not to)

I felt so angry when I saw this too. Did you see the huffington post article they wrote? It said this

”More than half (55%) of the the 2,000 mothers surveyed by Channel Mum said the pressure to breastfeed is too intense and the rise of sexualised breastfeeding photos is putting them off.’’

Really? I just don’t believe that people look at a picture of a woman breastfeeding her child and see that it is sexualised. That statement is so wrong on so many levels and is knocking back any good work that women have done by posting breastfeeding pictures. I am so bloody angry I think I will write something similar as sick of it. Well done you!

I also saw this story and as a mum who bottle fed I didn’t feel that a breast feeding mum was looking down or judging me. As far as I’m concerned the mums including yourself are simply feeding their baby and taking a picture for the memory.
I felt angry at the story for making out people were being judged and not just promoting and normalising breastfeeding.

Unfortunately, its not just breastfeeding and im personally tired of seeing it all. Who does shots, how doesn’t? Who uses what baby carrier and so forth, its a never end war of mommy battles. Great post though, happy to see one that isn’t about widening the gap between moms. #effitefriday

I wrote a post last night too, as a breastfeeder. My breastfeeding my two children are not meant to be bragging, it is just what was best for us. But it was so tough. And if I had any brelfies, I would have them all over social media. 🙂 #effitfriday

I’ve just written a post similarly saying that it shouldn’t matter how we feed our babies. There is enough pressure in motherhood without being made to feel that we will be judged for the decisions we have made that feel right for our families. I wasn’t really made to feel bad about my feeding choices by others that I met in person, it was the constant pressure from the media rehashing old stories that made me question my decisions. I often feel jealous when I see pictures of women breastfeeding because it’s such a beautiful thing when it works. I know they are not meant to make those who don’t breastfeed feel judge and it is a shame that they are twisted to make people feel bad, but that is not the fault of the women who are simply feeding their children in the first place. As mums we have enough to worry about without being made to feel bad, whichever way we end up feeding. #effitfriday

I was just having a conversation a few days ago at the library with a woman who happened to be a working mom with a 1 m/o who breastfed for a few weeks and now formula feeds for various reasons and I found myself almost feeling like I had to apologize for being a SAHM who is currently breastfeeding my 6 m/o and has no plans to wean anytime soon. I feel like I’m not allowed to be proud of myself as a breastfeeder who went through absolute hell with breastfeeding this time around (baby #3) but I stuck with it – but I’m not supposed to be proud of that or talk about that out of fear of offending someone who decided to switch to formula for their own personal reasons. I feel that we breastfeeding moms are made to feel like we think we are better than bottle feeding moms if we’re proud of ourselves for breastfeeding. And I am. It’s been a huge sacrifice that is 100% on me and it takes its toll when you have other kids and other time commitments and we should pat ourselves on the back. Hot button issue for sure. I think I’ll write a blog post about it too! Thanks for the inspiration! #effitfridays

You are totally right. Breast feeding has not been easy for me either. We have had tongue tie, severe reflux and multiple allergies to cope with. It can be draining and I’ve sacrificed nights out and time on my own, but I’m glad that I’ve done it and I am proud 🙂 x

Great post! I think it’s time to put it all to rest! It’s simple a baby has to eat! Whether you breast feed or formula feed (I know that there are mums who cannot breast feed for reasons only to them) it’s all good as long as baby is healthy! Thank you for linking on #effitfriday

Well said! When I breastfed my son, I was too embarrassed to feed him in public for 3 whole months. It made it really stressful as I was always dashing around, looking for somewhere private whilst he was screaming his head off wanting his milk. These brelfie’s are helping women feel more comfortable with the idea of breast-feeding. It’s not about the breast v. formula debate, it’s about helping women who have chosen to breastfeed feel more comfortable with what they are doing.

I bottle fed, however I am no breasfeeder basher. You know what it actually is, it’s the media creating a frenzy from a very small minority of bottle feeders and breastfeeders and turning it into so so so much more. Like you my opinion is that it’s a parents choice, that if you want to breastfeed then great, if you want to bottle feed equally as good, because the baby is getting what they need and that’s the end of it. I do blog about my feelings baout breastfeeding, in fact I’m so jealous because I would have loved to have done it but for some reason I just couldn’t, but it’s when the media create a storm about the whole “breast is best” thing that makes the women like me feel bad about the fact we couldn’t do what is seen as the best, most natural thing in the world to do. I am not a woman who would turn my nose up at a woman breastfeeding, it’s a beautiful thing, I just only wish that the media wouldn’t keep bringing it up because ultimately that’s what creates the whole treading on egg shells mentality and not the mother’s themselves (apart from that small minority) 🙂 great post by the way.

Love this post, well said!! I am always so careful with what I say about breastfeeding as I am worried someone will take it the wrong way.
Love your photo and your little one’s romper!
#TwinklyTuesday
Becky xx

Hi,
Nice to meet you! I like your post very much. It is very true. I also breastfeed and I don’t want to feel bad about it. It is really silly this debate between formula feeding and breast feeding. It doesn’t matter, both ways are perfectly fine as long as your baby is healthy and happy. xx
#sundaystars

Oh high five to that one! I couldn’t agree more.I have breastfed all four of my children because I wanted to and because I think that is best for them but if other mums choose to do something else then that is their choice and like you, I care how my babies are fed and I am responsible for them. I avoid ever discussing this subject for fear of upsetting someone. Your baby, your choice is my view! Superb post!

Agree. Actually I read another post earlier which said the same about bottle feeding! It’s so silly that other people have a say in how we bring up our children. As I said to the other blogger, we do the very best we can with the resources we have. If we *can* breastfeed and want to — great — if we can’t or don’t want to — great. Each to their own. As long as your baby is well cared for and loved, how they’re fed is no business of anyone else’s. Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday x

Well said. And as Caro said above, unfortunately it’s an argument seen on both sides at the moment. Aren’t we a world of ‘pro-choice’ – so why can’t we feel free and choose to feed our babies as and how we please. At the end of the day – as long as they are getting fed and receiving all the nutrients they require, why should it matter. I say keep taking your pictures and don’t let other peoples opinions get you down. They’re your special memories which you will look back upon one day and treasure. Thanks so much for linking up with #SundayStars Steph xxx

Completely agree with you Eilidh, great post. I breastfeed Charlotte and love doing it but what other mums do isn’t my concern. Would be nice to read a great support story rather than mums constantly being slated. No wonder mums are prone to post-natal when they feel they are constantly being judged. I’ve had alot of difficulties feeding Charlotte and would of loved some support from someone. Instead I felt guilty, embarrassed and self concious. Sad really. x

Well said! I completely agree. I breastfed my daughter until she was 8 months, however here in Spain its completely different! No one cares, No one slates you and No one would dare ask you to leave a café because you chose to feed your baby there.

Exactly my sentiments … I’m writing a post about the need many feel to put disclaimers on their breastfeeding posts. It’s crazy really; and really makes no rational sense when you think about it. Unfortuantely I think the media has made such in roads into our minds, and some of us mums actually feel as some articles say.

Yes, motherhood is hard enough without the drama, we need to rally round and support each other. Shouting out about one of the ways one mothers does not mean one is putting down another way. #Blogbounce

By the way, you’re welcome to join in with #BreastfeedingandI if you fancy 🙂

Thanks for sharing such a useful information with us …. I like the way you describe the post with us. Many thanks.I’m a new mama-to-be, so I’ll just have to go with what everyone else has told me and say that you need a really good baby carrier.

Completely agree with you Eilidh, great write up. I also saw this story and as a mum who bottle fed I didn’t feel that a breast feeding mum was looking down or judging me. As far as I’m concerned the mums including yourself are simply feeding their baby and taking a picture for the memory.
I felt angry at the story for making out people were being judged and not just promoting and normalising breastfeeding.