Ah, I see. Thank you for your answer guys. I've been worried that somehow I'm not the best person for my partner. It seems that everything I do/think about him are wrong, and he always complain that I don't understand him or misunderstand him. Yet he still stand by me (well, we're only been in a relationship for less than 2 months, so I don't know how long he could last with me).

I'm afraid that I will only bring sorrow to his life, since I'm a very blunt, harsh, and dominating person. Sometimes, I wish he just dumped me and leave me alone, so I won't feel guilty any more.

Seee??? I mean, we're friends, and that IS a different dynamic, but I think it can work.

I don't want to speak for you, but I know I often don't think I am the 'right' person for something. Like my current husband, who is an INTP. Oh yikes....we fought like a cat and dog for 1-2 years...

The fact of the matter is: I am overly perfectionistic, and when I see someone like my husband, I look at all my petty faults and wonder what he sees in me. The fact that someone could ever 'love me despite/even because of my faults' seems ridiculous. In addition, I'm so hard on myself that I often look at the negatives rather than the positives.

If I were you, I'd let things develop. Often these things sort themselves out with some introspection and hard work. It's like hanging up some clothes on a hanger with a few wrinkles; sometimes you have to iron it anyway, and sometimes the wrinkles 'work themselves out.' Only time and experience can tell what the truth is.

Originally Posted by Peguy

Well I might've spoke a little prematurely.

Now don't be an ass-rat and go scaring poor Wicked, now, ya hear???? *gets out whip*

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Seee??? I mean, we're friends, and that IS a different dynamic, but I think it can work.

The fact of the matter is: I am overly perfectionistic, and when I see someone like my husband, I look at all my petty faults and wonder what he sees in me. The fact that someone could ever 'love me despite/even because of my faults' seems ridiculous. In addition, I'm so hard on myself that I often look at the negatives rather than the positives.

Yes, as an INFJ I can relate to this in many ways. We're overly perfectionistic as well; and me and LL often have to keep reminding each other to relax now and then. So that's perhaps another point to consider in the how the dynamic between these two types work(or can work).

Now don't be an ass-rat and go scaring poor Wicked, now, ya hear???? *gets out whip*

Any combination of types can work if the individuals are compatible in experience, goals, or whatever. I would have to say that ESTJ and INFJ would more often not be the best match based on MBTI theory, but exceptions are certainly possible. The contrast between being strongly external ESTJ and deeply internal INFJ has potential for a number of imbalances in a relationship.

Feeling guilty typically leads to resentment as does feeling hurt by someone. Unless that dynamic stops, it sounds like it could easily fall into dysfunction (speaking in general terms).

Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors. Fear of reality creates myopic moralitySo I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
(from Blue Velvet)