- This site will be severely broken without Javascript turned on. -

KHAAAAAAAAAAN
Sync is off in firefox, I don't know why but the first few seconds of gif are cut off. Tested and it works in Google Chrome, Opera, and (ugh) Internet Explorer. Rather than donate money to fix the problem I arbitrarily blame max.

A dirty, dilapidated nursing home common room. Barely conscious old retards have been arranged in a circle of metal folding chairs around BIGX and his GRANDMOTHER who also sit in identical chairs. These two assholes are each holding a yellow/brown triple scoop ice cream cone.

In a fast-paced montage style sequence of images set to "Fly Like a G6" by Far East Movement, BIGX and his GRANDMOTHER each race to finish their ice cream cones.

GRANDMOTHER finishes first, effortlessly tossing a bite-sized piece of cone into her mouth, beaming with pride, while BIGX is still frantically licking a melting mound of ice cream sitting on top of his fully intact cone.

BIGX drops his ice cream on floor as he realizes GRANDMOTHER has finished eating.

One of the old retarded spectators yelps, another farts. A bald obese woman pulls out one of her own long, yellow tits and begins violently pulling at it. An old man falls off a chair, clearly dead.

BIGX slides off his chair, slinks down on all fours and begins crawling towards GRANDMOTHER.

BIGX(Seductively)Grammy! I have an ice-cream-ball-ache!

GRANDMOTHER(alzheimersly)I put all of it in my mouth!

BIGX(seductively, predatory)I know! It looks like I lost the bet! Do know what THAT means?!

GRANDMOTHERWee Wee Wee Wee Wee Wee Pee Pee

BIGXYes! And now I have dig through your big hairy bush if I'm going to find your clit so I can blow it.

BIGX lifts (his) GRANDMOTHER's nightgown to reveal three massive clumps of matted hair. Two of these clumps are gray/white. One is bright orange, a vestige left over from this smoking hot old redhead's hairy pussy youth.

BIGX(surprised, fucky)Grammy! I can't wait to find out what your cunt tastes like...

BRUCE WAYNE sits alone at a piano with his head buried in his arms. His loud obnoxious sobbing echoes throughout the endless space of WAYNE MANOR. ALFRED is awakened out of a peaceful slumber by the sobbing, and slowly fits his old british feet into some slippers while sitting on the side of the bed. He continues to sit on the bed for another 10 minutes while staring blankly at the door. ALFRED finally lights a candle stick by the side of his bed and takes it with him as he stumbles towards the door.

BRUCE (still sitting at the piano) hears a loud crash echo from the third floor.

ALFRED:(echoing)GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!

BRUCE:(screaming back)ALFRED! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!

ALFRED:(yelling)MY FEET GOT TANGLED UP IN THE PLAYSTATION 2 CORDS AFTER I SNEEZED AND BLEW MY CANDLE LIGHT OUT, I TRIPPED OUT THE DOOR AND KNOCKED THE TEA CART OVER THE BLOODY BALCONY. I ALSO FELL ON MY ASS.

BRUCE:(screaming like a girl)WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP ANYWAY?

ALFRED:(rubbing butter from the tea cart all over his bare ass)I HEARD YOU CRYING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH DOWN THERE AND THOUGHT I SHOULD INVESTIGATE AND MAKE SURE YOU WEREN'T HAVING ANOTHER BAT-FIT.

BRUCE:NO, I'M JUST CRYING BECAUSE SELINA KYLE WON'T CALL ME BACK.

ALFRED:YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT MASTER WAYNE. YOU'RE CRYING BECAUSE YOU FORGOT THE BLOODY PIANO COMBINATION TO THE BATCAVE AGAIN, DIDN'T YOU?

BRUCE:(pausing for a minute)NO.

ALFRED:(pissed off)HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOWN THERE CRYING?

BRUCE:AN HOUR. MAYBE TWO.

ALFRED: I CAN SEE THE BAT SIGNAL OUTSIDE THE WINDOW. IT'S BLINKING AND MOVING FRANTICALLY IN THE AIR.

BRUCE:I THINK THEY'RE PISSED.

ALFRED quickly pulls his pants back up and runs down the stairs. ALFRED runs at super fuck speed down the hall towards the piano. He jumps over BRUCE who is now on his hands and knees balling his eyes out with a fist in his mouth.

BRUCE: (crying hysterically)It won't fucking open Alfred.ALFRED punches the correct key combination on the piano, opening the grandfather clock on the wall exposing the BATCAVE. ALFRED lifts BRUCE up off of the ground and tells him to hurry the fuck up. An exhausted ALFRED walks over to the piano and has a sit down. A slow 20 m

A slow 20 minutes pass when suddenly fast paced techno music begins to blast out of the BATCAVE and strobe lights fill the corridor.

ALFRED:(screaming into the BATCAVE)Now what the fuck is going on?

BRUCE:THE BATCOMPUTER ISN'T WORKING RIGHT AND I CAN'T FIND THE BATSUIT.

ALFRED:Ah for fuck's sake.

ALFRED flips the piano over and marches towards the BATCAVE. He trips over a tea cart placed near the middle of the stairs and breaks his neck while falling down the remaining steps. BRUCE is conviently standing at the bottom when some hot tea blinds him in the eyes. He then stumbles backwards into the BATMOBILE and bumps his knee.

EXT. BUSY GOTHAM STREET - DAY

A black businessman places a quarter into a newspaper box and grabs the days paper. The frontpage headline reads: BILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY HIT BY PARKED CAR, DIES. The black man mumbles something about 'fucking white people' then folds the newspaper under his arm and enters a cafe.