11 People Confess Why They Really Cheated on Their Significant Others

Cheating is a difficult thing to talk about — people are always curious as to why someone would commit an act of infidelity, but it’s not like they’re going to shout their deepest, darkest secrets from mountain tops. After all, the act is often associated with deep-seated levels of shame. But Redditors have gathered in a recent AskReddit thread to reveal why they really cheated on their significant others.

Here are their stories.

1. "He rarely wanted to Skype or talk on the phone."

"I was in a long-distance relationship — he moved for his career, I was supposed to follow once I figured my shit out. So I hadn’t seen him in six months, he rarely wanted to Skype or talk on the phone, he didn’t want to come back to visit me (only me visiting him, he hated the state), I’d always text him first, etc. So I started distancing myself from the relationship, as I felt that’s what he was doing. My head went to a dark place and figured he was cheating on me or didn’t love me anymore. Lack of communication, I guess. I also felt I was becoming a clingy GF and I never wanted to be that girl (even in a long-distance).

"So I met this guy, we hit it off right away, there was so much mental and physical chemistry. We’d communicate a lot, he always wanted to hang out but I told him ’no,’ as I was in a relationship. But I think I hadn’t heard from my BF in week at one point, even after texts sent. So I hung out with the other guy and we ended up hooking up.

"Do I regret cheating? Yeah. I broke it off with the BF the next week out of guilt, I never told him. I should’ve ended it well before that point, considering I was falling out of love. I was young and naive. But we both agreed the long distance wasn’t working. Haven’t talked to him since, but I have a feeling he’s doing alright in life." —thrownaway19842

2. "Every night I would beg him for sex."

"Sixteen-year marriage. Every night I would beg him for sex, every night he would make some excuse not to. He would then masturbate to pornography, while I lay in our room trying to figure out why I wasn’t enough. Every 10 to 12 months he would give in and we would have sex. Other than these times, there was so physical touching. No hugs. No kisses, no hand holding etc. I was starving.

"After one confrontation, he told me to go find a boyfriend, but warned me no one else would want me. So, I did. It only happened once, but it taught me some really valuable lessons, and gave me the courage to leave this sexually, financially, and physically abusive marriage. It took two years, but I left. I am with a man now who touches me all the time, treats me well, and makes me incredibly happy.

"Should I have cheated? No. But one partner does not get to totally dictate the couple’s sex life. I was scared and hurt and broken." —TitsMacintosh

Should I have cheated? No. But one partner does not get to totally dictate the couple’s sex life.

3. "We had slowly been falling out of love and turning into roommates that occasionally rubbed privates together."

"We had been slowly falling out of love and turning into roommates that occasionally rubbed privates together. There was a lot of talk about spicing it up in the bedroom but by her own admission, she’s pretty vanilla and didn’t want to wrap her head around the idea of other positions besides missionary and her being on top. I had been training a very attractive and smart woman at work who noticed I was having a hard time one day and I spilled everything out to her at lunch. A few more weeks of shameless flirting between the both of us culminated in an incredible night in a hotel room. It felt awful imagining my girlfriend’s face, but at that point the path ahead was crystal clear, we broke up the next day, and I never told her what happened. The co-worker and I continued to date off and on for two years. We never could make a relationship work but fell back on the sex ... that whole time was full of lessons I’m still learning." —SombraBlanca

4. "He had talked about previous open relationships."

"I wasn’t clear what our relationship boundaries were. He was adamant that we weren’t dating, but we still exchanged ’I love yous’ and essentially lived together. He was very New Age, had talked about previous open relationships, and generally spoke in vague terms.

"We were briefly long-distance at the start of our relationship (so not many people knew we were together) and a friend kissed me. I panicked, called my SO and told him, and he responded nonchalantly. If anything, he was irritated and confused that I called him about it. I left the conversation with the impression that he was seeing other people and rather expected I was as well.

"So I slept with the friend. And then later found out that my SO considered me his ’monogamous primary partner,’ which makes me a cheater.

"I felt shitty about it for a long time, but in the end, I learned from the experience." —the_72nd_percentile

5. "I gave up everything in a split second."

"There wasn’t any logic. I was drunk and didn’t stop the advances of another girl. I had never been so happy than in my prior relationship. Never felt so loved and loved someone so much. I gave up everything in a split second..." —3707

6. "We got married at 21 because that’s what you do."

"I started dating my high school sweetheart when we were both 16. We moved in together when we were 19, because that’s what you do when you’ve been in a relationship that long. We got engaged when we were 20 because that’s what you do when you’ve been together for four years. We got married at 21 because that’s what you do once you’re engaged for a while.

"I’d had doubts about our relationship for a long time before we got married, and afterwards, they just grew stronger. Why am I with this guy who is so different than me in every way — cleanliness, attitude toward finances, politics, acceptance of other cultures, ways of showing affection. But I told myself that he was probably the best fit for me, and, hey, we already lived together, and our families liked each other, and, whatever, too much effort to give up now.

"Then I became best friends with my coworker. He complemented me in every way, and treated me so well. One night, I drunkenly texted him and admitted I had a crush on him, and he told me he had a crush on me too. We tried to stay friends because neither one of us wanted to ruin my marriage, and I still believed I was in love with my husband. It didn’t work. We flirted for months (occasionally telling ourselves we had to stop, and achieving that for a day or two). We fell in love and couldn’t stand to be apart from each other.

"I told myself I was still in love with my husband, but I was also in love with my coworker. Eventually, my willpower broke down and I slept with him.

"After that, it didn’t take long for my marriage to fall apart. My husband moved 200 miles away for a job, which, of course, made my affair much easier to carry on. My husband and I kept drifting further and further apart, until I finally told him I wanted a divorce after less than six months of marriage.

"I’ve never admitted to my ex-husband that I cheated on him, even though he assumes so. I’m actually married to the man I cheated with, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been before.

"I’m don’t regret marrying my first husband because it smashed a lot of my ideals on what a marriage entailed.

"I don’t regret getting with my current husband because I do feel we are very well matched and I love him much more than I ever loved my ex.

"I do regret having cheated. I wish I had finished one relationship before starting another. I constantly think of the phrase ’once a cheater, always a cheater,’ and it tears me apart because I know I’m capable of doing such an awful thing. But I simply remind myself that everyone fucks up sometimes, and people are capable of changing." —lunanublado

I wish I had finished one relationship before starting another.

7. "One night I said, ’’fuck it.’"

"My SO had cheated on me multiple times, and one night I said ’fuck it,’ and went out to get drunk with work mates. I met a guy that I worked with that treated me like a princess, was attentive and all around sweet. We hit it off. It wasn’t intentional, it just happened. I remember thinking that it was a bad idea and then thought ’you know what, I deserve happiness too. It’s not all about [my SO].’ I left my SO the next day. Best decision I ever made." —3inchesshorter

8. "I ended up falling in lust with every guy that gave me the slightest bit of attention."

"I was young and I wanted to feel loved, so I ended up falling in lust with every guy that gave me the slightest bit of attention. Thankfully, I was lucky enough to avoid bad situations and never did more than kissing but I would have been devastated if any of my exes were kissing other girls when they were with me. Am now in a happy marriage with my soul mate so I no longer feel the urge to cheat." —Retailitch

9. "He was abusive, controlling, manipulative."

"Long-distance relationship for two years. I’d tried to break up with him six months before I cheated, but he sent me pictures/videos of himself crying about how sorry he was and that my wanting to leave was destroying him. I’d spent several months being emotionally manipulated into participating in incestuous, lesbian fantasies, and other things I don’t want to go into (I am female, he was a straight guy who loved pretending to be a lesbian). He told me I could tell him if I didn’t want to do these things. I told him. He would throw a tantrum, cry, and scream about how I was disrespecting our love, which made me feel guilty so I just let him do what he wanted and was miserable. He was abusive, controlling, manipulative, wanted to know what I was doing every minute of the day, and so on. He had certain pictures I was forced to take for him, also had my address so I was scared of leaving.

"Four to five months after I failed to break up with him, I cheated. I’d met another guy online, also long distance. He was sweet, affectionate, and respected me. I told him soon after about the abusive guy. With his support, I broke up with the abusive guy. It was messy and I went through a horrible time for months, but in the end, I blocked him and continued my relationship with the other guy. I’m engaged to the other guy now and we are happy together. Two years and going strong." —Aelanox

10. "I just gave up and started cheating on her."

"I had given up on the relationship. We had been together about 2.5 years. Moved 14 hours away together, got two dogs together. Rented a house together. But I felt that she had stopped contributing to and participating in the relationship. Wouldn’t hold up any flash cards for me while study for my law school exams. Wouldn’t bring me my laptop power cable that I left at home and needed for class, because it was her day off. Wouldn’t take time out of her holidays with her family to go say hi to mine. Wouldn’t help take the dogs to the dog park. Stopped taking care of herself. Stopped writing her own checks for bills, so I would write them, and then she we would argue about her signing them. I was in the process of buying a house for us, signed a contract, put my money down and everything, but she was moving her sister in with us against my objections, and I didn’t have a say in how much my ex or her sister would pay in rent. They wanted to pay more to board and feeding and riding horses than they were willing to contribute in rent. Didn’t care at all about my concerns. I just gave up and started cheating on her." —whiterussian04

11. "He was simply never in the mood."

"Our sexual chemistry wasn’t in tune. He simply was never in the mood. I tried so damn hard — gently giving tips, suggestions, etc, but no dice. He just didn’t fuck me. I would buy nice lingerie which he chose, wear it with his response being ’sexy,’ and turning back to the computer. Eventually I met guys who wanted to have sex and I did. We broke up after I realized how much I could get away with. The only think I regret is not ending the relationship sooner." —GoldenOliveBranch

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