WANKER WANG – RIP (Rot In Piss)

It’s a sad, sad day for everyone. I mean, now that he’s dead, who is gonna take over his Spring Chicken series and make timid chicks act like retarded chickens for his own twisted pleasure?

Seriously, back in the old days, way back like five years ago, Wanker was a cool guy. He was terrified of girls. He was a computer geek. He was fun. In doses, that is.

But he also drank. And although no one knew at the time, he was also a rapist and kidnapper, as well as an abuser towards women. It wasn’t until he again got arrested for the same charges did we know of his evil past. It’s too bad, too, ’cause Haley Paige got the raw end of the deal in the end.

It’s obvious Wanker killed Haley. So obvious, I bet even he knew that everyone in the Valley knew it, too. I bet a lot of people would have loved it if he came back to the Valley after news of Haley’s death hit the streets. I guarantee someone would have cracked his skull open with a pipe…