I remember being in freshman English and being asked to write a poem about love. I gave it some thought and wrote a pretty long one and after the teacher read it she called me to her desk and asked me if I plagiarized it. I told her no I did not, not because I am above plagiarism, but because I don’t like reading poems. She smiled and said it was great and I had talent. Over the summer she got divorced and returned next year a real bitch. It almost made me hate reading and writing.

I remember driving from Chicago to Miami and there was a huge mountain we went up. On the way down, which was a really steep slope, there was a washing machine in the middle of the road. It was pitch dark, no street lamps. I only saw it at the last second and avoided it. Seriously, how could I explain that I crashed into a washer?

As long as you do not have one of those cats that suck your breath away while you sleep then you should be ok. Also, don’t date women with crazy eyes who own cats with a real persons name or you will end up very sorry.

I was thinking with the whole Herman Kain sexual thing. The lady was quoted saying he tried to push her head into his crotch and she was like “No, I have a boyfriend.” Does this mean if she didn’t she’d be good to go?