40
comments:

Best advice I can give you is to hole up in your house for the next year, get your groceries delivered, try and get Archer into watching the tv for 8 hours a day, and forget you had any life or friends until it blows over ;)

But never, NEVER give in to the tantrums.

My daughter used to bang her head on the concrete pavements in the high street. That was fun. Obviously I couldnt walk away or ignore it. I used to pick her up and hug her really tightly.

I'm going through it atm with Sylvie. It's hard, especially when they hurt other kids on purpose. Sylvie has a demonic laugh with evil eyes when she has been told off.

Oh oh oh... little man what are you doing? I feel for you on the hairpulling and punching. I feel like Bumper's b*tch most of the time... she is so hard on me and we are no where near the terrible twos! If I find a new tactic I'll tell you but for now... I just say "No" and watch her defy me at every turn. Such defiant little people, aren't they? Sigh. I really do feel for you. Don't be sad - you aren't alone

Two words.Pushing. Limits.They all do this. He has decided he is an individual and independent from you, THE MOM. This is not, and repeat, NOT the terrible two's. This, honey, is warming up for them. This is when lines need to be drawn and "tough love" takes on new meanings. It sucks....sucks sucks sucks, but remember that is all him developing into his own unique and wonderful person. I say wonderful....you will somedays walk around calling him names under your breath while pulling out your hair wondering why this is happening to you. Best advice I can give is playpen timeouts and STICK TO YOUR GUNS about no meaning no. Oh and if you ever want to go into public again...forget what other peeps may think of your montrous offspring and ignore the screams. I actually used to egg Chloe on saying "Honey, I don't think everyone in the store can hear you yet, you should scream louder.....yeah, that's it. Now we're talking baby." She would get infuriated that I could be so blaise about her tantrums. Freakin hilarious! Oh and it does get better for a very short period of time. Good Luck!

I have this image of Archer in my mind as this angelic, hip, perfect little man after seeing all his photos.

We experiened the "terrible twos" when my son was one too. The good news he got it all out of his system and returned to the kid I knew once he hit two. Fingers and toes crossed its the same thing for Archer.

PMSL at board versus jell-o babies, that is so true! I have had both and have had to use my knee (quick jab in the tummy) to get them into their buggys before now.My baby girl who used to bang her head on the pavement and once bit her brother so hard on the back that it left a full set of her teeth indented on his skin like he's been branded, she is the most kind, loving gorgeous 6 year old now. She sits inside with her friend who has hayfever at school playtime to keep her company.

Thank you ! I think the slapping baby in the face/laughing thing was what threw me because Arch is the coyest little bunnyrabbit (was). Shy and happy and quiet and suddenly he grew horns. It's just so sudden! Sniff.

Hang in there. Stand your ground now, otherwise the terrible twos will make this look like a cakewalk. He'll come around, once he figures out that he DOES have limits. He'll get it. Just don't go insane in the process. (Easier said than done, I know.)

Terrible Twos doesn't have to wait until he's two to start. Gabe started them when he was about 20 months old, and everything was a battle. When he would hurt himself, me, or once another child, I pulled him away from the situation. I set him in his crib (or his room after we changed his crib to toddler bed) and closed the door. He would scream, cry, scratch himself, call out for me. I would be just outside the door through it all, sometimes crying myself, just to make sure he didn't start destruction in his room. I let him sit for a couple minutes each time, but never more than five (the rule is a minute for each year of age, but sometimes Gabe needed a little longer than that). When he would calm down enough that he could actually hear me talking to him again, I would go in there, hold him on my lap and explain as simply as I could, "No hit," and point to my head or face. "No scratch," and point to where he'd scratch. "No throwing," and I'd make a throwing motion. Then I'd hug him, tell him I loved him, and then all would be well until the next eruption.

I had to remind myself that he was showing frustration over feelings that he didn't have the skills yet to verbalize. I tried to pay attention to what would set him off and teach him the word for what he wanted. Just the word, "want" was a huge help in lowering Operation Frustration to more manageable levels. He could point and say, "want," and I could help him out. Juice, truck, dog, ball, blanket, and food were other words that were easy and helped.

I calmed myself by counting, by imagining being unable to talk to my caretaker and understand what they were saying to me, and sometimes I was able to avert tantrums by tickling him. Getting him to laugh sort of wiped the slate a little and he wouldn't erupt as bad. Hang in there. It gets better over time.

I am so very sad with you. My real little man and your real Archer must be off frolicing somewhere where sweet boys go because mine is gone baby gone and I am ready to tear my hair out. Someone told me this lasts until they are 4. I smiled sweetly but I wanted to sic my son on him.

No worries, really....18 mos is MUCH worse than two IMHO.....and I have 4 kids....OK, not so humble...Two's are better b/c they can verbally express more. He is frustrated b/c his motor and verbals skills are not in sync with how much he knows and wants....so he gets pissed LOLWho can blame him??? Also, they are just so excited when their bodies DO what they want, they have NO clue it hurts anyone outside of themselves. Sorry you are sad.....it is one of my most challenging ages....I am with you...I think it gets better.

Awww hun, my daughter does a lot of those things and isn't even a year old yet. I guess it gets worse before it gets better? Just think of it this way your 5 months closer to it being over than I am! =o\

That's why they have to be so cute in the first place. They sucker you into falling in love with them with all that adorable cuteness. Cooing and smiling. Doing the dat-dat-dat thing. Giving you the look. You KNOW the look. You get attached. The co-dependency is established. Then you're screwed. Then they become...::shiver::...toddlers. No stopping it.

By then, you already love them too much to drive them to the country and leave them by the side of the road. You're stuck with them.

These babies are smarter than you think. And organized. You have no idea.

I will offer no ass-vice here, because every kid is different & every parent has a different parenting style. Drives me mad when people (read "family") try to tell me how to fix her or punish her, or what to think about the whole situation. Hello? Been there. Done it all. Now won't you kindly return MY child & take away this evil twin?? I am in the same boat as you. She's 30 months. I'm counting the days till her 3rd birthday & SOMEone throws the freakin' switch back to my angel. Its really comforting to know someone's in this sinking boat with me tho'. {{hugs}} Soory if this is a tad pissy. My eyebrow bone is throbbing from her headdrop she laid down on me the other night. She really needs to join WWF Toddler -'scuse me.. "WWE". Is there such a thing? Should we start one? B/C this kid will get me all sorts of $$ with her moves.

My first child went through that phase when he was 3...My second one acted like that when she was 1, and my third did that when she was 2. I am happy to report all three of them outgrew that behavior...and Surprise! They are alive, and I am not in the nut house. Hang in there. This will pass.

I think that experienced parents everywhere are playing a huge practical joke on us new parents by telling us about the "terrible twos". As far as I can tell it's more like the terrible "13 month-old to 3-year-olds". Yeah, it doesn't have the same ring to it but it's a bit more accurate, I'd say.

One thing I found that really helped with my son whenever he would hit me at that age was to make a point of looking genuinely hurt when he did it (even the times it didn't really hurt all that much). I would look him right in the eye and say, "Ow! That HURT Mommy!" in a very hurt voice; then I would say "Don't hit people" very sternly. That usually gave him pause.

I think most of the time angry toddlers don't really want to HURT someone; they just want to get a reaction, and hitting always provokes an instant response, but I think many of them are just too young still to work out the logic that hitting really hurts, or to bother thinking about what the consequences of angry actions might be.

I just finished a great book (recommended by Mary P) that deals with this exactly! And, especially, how not to let this natural testing limits period (that usually starts somewhere between 14 & 18 months) turn into the really bad terrible twos!It's called "Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child" by Burton L. White. It really WAS helpful. Especially how it breaks down child development with what types of discipline work best at each age (and that age changes by months!). I totally recommend it. I've been working with Chance on not biting and it's getting much better.

aww but he still looks like an angel. my little man turned 2 day..boohoo and its been happening for a bit now. these crazy little personalities all fiery and ready to pop out...just wait one day you'll think he's the devil spawn and the next perfect darling...they do it to screw w/us so we never get too comfortable, haha! btw, when are we going to get our 2 terrible 2 toddlers together? i'm ready when you are!!!

This'll probably piss someone off, but our first did this from 1 till 2.5 when I finally got so fed up, I gave him a spanking on his bottom, and confined him to his bed for 30 minutes. The last straw for us though, was not the attack on me, but the attack on his 6 mo. old sister...our children...they learn what they can get away with, I swear.

The "twos" tend to come early in bright children, and bright children tend to learn rapidly how to get what they want, if not thwarted with loving boundaries.

Just had to comment. You can consider me a child-abuser freak if you like.