ADHD in Children

Hey, the brakes don’t work!

Imagine a child on a bicycle speeding downhill. The world is whizzing by. The road takes a sudden curve. The wind whips his face and his eyes blur with tears. Suddenly, he spots a ditch up ahead. He tries to brake—but the brakes don’t work! As the bike’s momentum increases, it is all he can do to keep from flying off. Obstacles in his path cry out for his attention. Everything seems out of control. What are the chances he will avert a collision with the tractor trailer heading right toward him?

You now have some idea of the life of someone with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). It all comes from the difficulty of “Putting on the Brakes,” to borrow the title of a new book on the disorder by Patricia Quinn.

Another expert in the field, Dr. Russell Barkley, explains that for ADHD people, the front part of their brains where the controls are found doesn’t do a good job of putting on the brakes. This means that these people may:

Have trouble putting brakes on distractions. Their minds are pulled off the main topic by any competing action. This accounts for the “Attention Deficit” of ADHD.

Have trouble sitting still rather than methodically going about a task. This accounts for the “Hyperactivity” of ADHD.

Have trouble putting brakes on any thought that comes into their minds. There is trouble putting brakes on frustrations and over-reactions. This accounts for the “impulsivity,” an integral part of the condition.

Now imagine your world as a flashing kaleidoscope, where rapidly-shifting sounds, images, and thoughts are constantly derailing your attention and drawing you away from your work.

Imagine feeling bored to distraction yet helpless to focus on important tasks, and at other times driven impulsively from one activity to the next.

Picture yourself as a child, feeling unable to wait your turn or restrain yourself from blurting out comments as your teacher or parent is speaking. Even though you know full well the negative consequences you will suffer from your behavior, you easily become oppositional and answer back to authority.

Visualize being so disorganized you are constantly losing things, losing track of time and forgetting important obligations. You are so distracted you don't notice when someone speaks to you, when the phone rings or someone is honking at you to get your attention.

For children with ADHD, the above scenarios are all too familiar. Individuals with this neurological disorder may be unable to sit still, wait on line, plan ahead, finish tasks, concentrate or be fully aware of what is going on around them.

They often have problems with delaying gratification or taking “no” for an answer. They may exhibit social problems due to their tendency to engage in provoking behavior, and to lash out and overreact to small annoyances.

Yehuda

Yehuda, age 9, has more energy than most boys his age. But then, he's always been overly active, his parents testify. Starting at age 3, he was a human tornado, hurling himself from one activity to the next, triggering chaos wherever he paused on his hi-speed trajectory through the house.

He was reckless and impulsive, running into the street and several times almost colliding with oncoming cars.

On the playground, his tendency to overreact created friction with other children. He would push or punch playmates simply for bumping into him—behavior that continued even as he got older. He lost friends and complained about being picked on.

ADHD can only be identified by looking for certain characteristic behaviors, which vary from person to person.

In the classroom, Yehuda was constantly getting out of his seat, calling out of turn, and blurting out wisecracks. He was incapable of quietly waiting his turn.

His parents were at their wits’ end. What was wrong with their child? It was if he were two people, charming and affectionate at times, but more often excitable, uncontrollable and exasperating beyond endurance.

Children and teens with ADHD—studies show the neurological deficit affects as many as 2 million American school children—may seem to be rebellious, socially maladjusted or so “spaced-out” that they appear abnormal. The condition often continues into adulthood, undermining relationships and job performance, and causing untold emotional pain.

Unlike a broken foot or an ear infection, ADHD does not have clear physical signs that can be seen in an x-ray or a lab test. ADHD can only be identified by looking for certain characteristic behaviors, which vary from person to person.

ADHD or a Look-Alike?

Not everyone who is hyperactive, inattentive, or impulsive has an attention disorder. Since most people sometimes blurt out things they didn't mean to say, dash from one activity to another, or become disorganized and forgetful, how can specialists tell if the problem is ADHD?

To make a correct diagnosis, specialists consider several critical questions: Are these behaviors long-term? Are they continuous, not just a response to a temporary situation? Do they occur in different settings or only in one specific place like the playground or in the classroom?

“The behavior must appear early in life, generally before age 7, and continue for at least 6 months,” National Institute of Mental Health specialists say. In children, they must be more frequent or severe than in others the same age.

Above all, the behaviors must impair functioning in at least two areas of a person's life, such as school, home, work, or social situations, explains the National Institute of Mental Health. So someone whose work or friendships are not impaired by these behaviors would not be diagnosed with ADHD. Nor would a child who seems overly active at school but functions well elsewhere.

Getting a Handle On It

Life can be hard for children with ADHD. They're the ones who are so often in trouble at school, can't finish a project, and lose friends. They may spend torturous hours each night struggling to study for a test or complete homework assignments, then forget to bring the work to school.

It's not easy coping with these frustrations day after day. Some children vent their frustration by acting oppositional, starting fights, or damaging property. Some channel the frustration into physical ailments, like frequent stomachaches or headaches.

It's especially challenging being the teacher of such a child. Pushed to the limits of their patience, teachers sometimes find themselves ridiculing, or screaming at the child, even though they know it's not appropriate

Although medication is often recommended to help control the ADHD child’s behavior problems, the subject of medication—whether to administer, what kind, how much, and for how long—is beyond the scope of this article.

Our aim is to present some helpful tips to teachers in managing an ADHD child in the mainstream classroom and in helping the child to build self-esteem and achieve success.

Tailoring the Curriculum

How do we ensure that a child will remain motivated and succeed at a given task?

Modify the assignment, but privately, to avoid embarrassing her.

Give shorter lessons and more of them, which makes it easier for children to stay focused.

Acknowledge even partial success and extend approval generously.

Compliment even in mid-assignment to encourage continued focused performance

Make corrections with a light hand. Instead of “try harder next time,” try – I see how hard you tried. Keep up the effort. It’s really paying off.

Keeping the Inattentive Child Focused.

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Smile, make eye contact with child, pat her on the back or otherwise make contact, where appropriate.

Use his name in the lesson or example that is being taught to the entire class.

Tap on the desk (or use other code) to bring the child back into focus.

Alert child’s attention with phrases such as “This is important.”

Break down longer directions into simpler chunks.

Check for comprehension.

Encourage child to underline the key words of directions.

Encourage him to mark incorrect multiple-choice answers with an “x” first. This allows them to “get started” quickly, while forcing them to read all of the choices before making a final selection.

Allow physically hyperactive children out of their seats to hand out and pick up papers, etc.

Compliment a child, publicly, at least once daily, on some organizational or attentional task or effort.

Take a moment or two once or twice daily to speak privately to the student; give a two-second pep talk, mention something positive you happened to notice regarding student’s work, behavior, self-control, focusing, etc.

Organizational Help

First, recognize that disorganization is a major disability for almost everyone with ADHD. In fact, when organizational problems are not in evidence, a diagnosis of ADHD is unlikely.

Ensure that parents and child all know the correct assignment. The following options can be used. This part will take work, especially to keep the system going:

Inform about typical routines (such as vocabulary quizzes on Fridays).

Buddy system for cooperative learning, whether for tests and reg. assignments

Alternatives to tests: research, project, report, etc

Above all—and this applies to all children not only those with ADHD—when you have to discipline, make sure to do so without anger and without vindictiveness. It may help to imagine that you are caught going through a “stop” sign. The policeman stops you and gives you your well deserved ticket. How would you like it if he handed you the ticket and yelled at you at the same time—ridiculing and insulting you because of your misdemeanor?

When you hand out punishment, do it with respect. Leave the child’s self-image intact. Invest in kindness, no matter how provoking the situation. You may not see results right away but that investment will one day yield a huge return.

Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

An acclaimed educator and education consultant, Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to 30 years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, S.O.S (Strategies for Optimum Success), servicing all grade levels. A reading specialist, she gives dynamic workshops and sets up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she performs G.E.D. preparation, evaluations, social skills training and dating coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness.Contact her at 718-382-5437, rifkaschonfeld@gmail.com, and online at rifkaschonfeldsos.com.

Visitor Comments: 13

(10)
malabika ghosh,
July 11, 2015 2:03 AM

ADHD should be handled by parents effectively.

while handling adhd children,parents should keep in mind the following 1)they should remain away from self frustration and its outbrust.2)they should not compare and treat their child with normal ones.3)parental fight should be completely stopped in front of adhd children.4)blame should be replaced by regret while disciplining them5)unconditional love and acceptance in their every fault will boost their confidence

(9)
chaya,
October 3, 2011 5:59 PM

ADD / ADHD

I have a son with ADD and a son with ADHD. Our home life was crazy and stressful and at the time we didn't know what exactly the problem was and my other 3 children suffered because of them. Last year they were both finally diagnosed. My husband was anti Ritalin and would not let them take meds. We spent a year trying everything else and homeopathic medication, nothing worked and everyone continued to suffer. Finally we had no choice and gave both kids Ritalin for school and the change was amazing!! Our battles are still there but so many problems have gone away and these two boys are succeeding at school and feeling great about themselves. I was so anti that I would judge others who gave their kids Ritalin, DONT JUDGE OTHERS!! Some kids need this to help them. If you are holding back meds you may be making a mistake. Just some food for thought...

(8)
Anonymous,
September 4, 2011 3:21 PM

ADD?

Now adays adhd is actually classified as add with multiple varying grades of intensity. i was diagnosed with addd froma very early age. I was put on ritalin which i dont recommend and have tried others through the years and have only found one to be uninvasive ... " for add medication" which is vivancin. But to get to my point i really dont think people understand ADD at all everyone seems to recognize symptoms and related brain function to others. but whos to say what is good and what isnt. Secondly the explanation of what it feels like to be add is quite accurate. in that it does feel like things are going by at 100 miles an hour sometimes and that things are constantly being put in front of you. BUTTTTT not all the time this feeling is rare and only happens when learning new things. which im sure is the case for most people , which is also why i think ADD is a load of rubbish. yes maybe there are diff in the brain from add and non add but thats normal there should be diff in people its evolution. theres a reason why i am add and why my body works best with that brain functioning ... does it work well with the worlds demands ? maybe not.. but it could. doesnt mean theirs anything wrong with me. For instance autism is a pretty noticeable brain functioning , and many think it hinders peoples abbility to live happily and be free and interact. which in some cases it obveously is and we dont need any medical proffesional to tell us and in others we see they are far beyond brilliant in certain areas while having enough persistence and stamina to accomplish things in there life. I think the best thing to do for add bi polar any medical "problem" is to work with it and see how your body learns and what you work best with . DRUGS SHOULD BE LASTTTTT OPTION.

(7)
SusanE,
March 24, 2011 5:57 PM

Please let me tell you More about My Sister

She went back and finished high school with wonderful grades, and did it in her own way as an adult after quitting school in 10th grade. She married young (18) and ran a lovely home away from here in the city where her husband worked. When his work brought them back here, she made another beautiful welcoming home, and still being a kid herself, took my kids camping, river rafting, on hikes and taught them about being outdoors, riding bicycles and being kind to the Earth.. She worked at factory jobs and became supervisors at both places, until she had her first child at 30. They raised their child and university educated her. That child now 34, is married and a contributing volunteer in helping children and a boon to her own community. My sister did these things all the while caring for a progressively ailing husband. He just died last year. She volunteered at the schools, when her daughter was younger. Now gives many hours a week at local nursing homes, is active in her church with missions, and serving on the board. She writes letters and sends cards and never forgets people from years ago. She had a feeding station in her yard for deer and all birds, and cares for abandoned pets in her home. She has many friends and is very logical and bright and still a very quick and hard worker. I expect her IQ is above the norm. This is a description of what an ADHD person is. Would her life have benefitted from medicating her to conform to the schools codes? I don't know. I would say look at the ADHD adults who were medicated to conform and are their lives better than hers is? I am thankful for our Mom and Dad who let her be a free child and do things in the way she needed to. I think she she soars with the eagles!

(6)
coming from the trenches,
March 22, 2011 5:14 PM

I dont understand why SO many people think that having AD/HD is so horrible! I am speaking from myself and experience. I have AD/HD and although i have my own struggles with it (such as spinning in a chair to calm down my sensory/nervous system, having a hard time focusing, many times feeling likes there something crawling underneath my skin, not being able to filter out different senses esp when im trying to focus etc) I am honestly BLESSED to have this. THANKFULLY i do NOT have special needs. HOWEVER i have worked and befriended children and teenagers who have a variety of special needs. Having my own issues with not payng attention gives me the gift to give them friendship and really understand some of there struggles. Besides, did you know many ppl who have ADHD are LITERALLY geniuses? My IQ last time it was tested in 10th grade (8years ago) was close to 200. My dad has ADHD and had NO medication at all back in europe growing up and he became of one the head doctors (and INCREADABLY intellegent and good) at his hospital he works out. DO i look at ADHD as negitive? HELL NO! I look at is as a pure blessing and wish beyond words that ppl would stop looking at it as a problem or negatively! I literally thank gd for giving me this gift!!!

(5)
SusanE,
March 22, 2011 4:09 PM

My Sister had Serious Trouble paying attention.

She is now 64. And she still has attention issues. She goes off subject and will begin singing during a conversation. She can't concentrate when there is noise in the background. She changes the radio music every few seconds, she had to be in control of the sounds around her. She is outspoken and at times what she says and does is inappropriate for the moment. The last time I drove her car, she crawled over the front seat and arranged the heat and radio several times in an hour. She can't be confined long enough to try on clothes. I go along every year or so (at her request) to pick and choose and bring to the dressing room so she can tolerate the experience.
Our mother used to say oh my G-d what am I going to do with that child? She explored every inch of every space of her surroundings. Including under all the porches, up every tree. She took things apart. She knew EVERYTHING about her surroundings. Mom called her 'eagle eye. We say she has a spring on her butt because she has trouble sitting still for more than a few moments. She can now 'sort of' sit for an hour, but could never go to a movie. We went to a local play last year and she had an incredibly hard time and still isn't over it.
She is a very hard worker, and works incredibly well with children. She is quick and smart and very witty and a joy for a sister.
She is beginning to know her limits and will apologize when an inappropriate statement or action happens, but will do it again and still has no 'brakes' on that behavior.
I would hate to see her creative, edgy, quick, personality supressed by drugs. Her contribution to our community is huge. She spoke for the children in SED and Special Education and volunteered in the schools. She understood their lives.
Imagine how far these children could soar and how much they could teach us if they had the guidance and freedom to explore everything in their own way.

galiah,
March 23, 2011 2:17 AM

really?

Why would her "creative, edgy, quick, personality" be "suppressed by drugs"?? If dose/med type etc is carefully monitored, it would not alter her personality, but rather channel it in a more appropriate, life-functioning manner.

not true,
March 23, 2011 12:56 PM

thats not true. i went on ritalin when i w as a small child and i had no appetite and was as still as can be and couldnt bthink clearly. it is mind altering meds

(4)
Patricia LoGiudice,
March 21, 2011 11:34 PM

A very important part yo left out....

In today`s "raising of children" it is more & more common for children to be overly spoiled, a complete "puzzle" to uninformed parents and left to their own devices regarding behavior! As a former teacher, I can tell you that a great many children do NOT have ADHD, they are simply spoiled rotton with clueless parents!

Anonymous,
December 12, 2012 9:04 PM

To commenter #4. I am glad you are a former teacher. Your complete ignorance of ADD/ADHD is appalling. I feel sorry for the children who were your students!

(3)
Carolyn,
March 21, 2011 10:15 PM

Sensory Peace in The Home and In The School

I find that very few truly realize the effect surroundings have on someone with ADD/HD of any age and their ability or lack there of, to focus.
They are sensory to the max and pick up on visual, olfactory, auditory clues and more, that most are oblivious to. There is a criteria: "if it doesn't bother me then they need to adjust to it too" or "they cannot live in a sheltered world 24 hrs a day". This comes from professionals as well as uninformed parents.
There is nothing wrong with making schools and homes a haven for these children and adults that have to contend with so much as it is.
Bright lights, sounds, colors and shapes all over the place are just as toxic to them as eating peanuts or gluten.
There are definite cases of children that are under stimulated and need a bit more to help them get through the day. But the majority of the population is overstimulated and there are no signs of that changing anytime soon, in fact the numbers are growing.
We can all do something to control our immediate space to make our family members more comfortable and therefore more productive and content.
Together we can turn down the volume and make things a better for all of us.
Carolyn Feder
Founder of Sensory Interior Design

(2)
Kathleen,
March 21, 2011 6:40 PM

Living with ADHD for fifty years.

Now that I'm old I know that I had ADHD since I was very young. Then I thought my impulsiveness was funny, like slapstick comedy, but I paid for it with spankings and being ostracized on occasion. Today I take ADHD meds but prefer to spend most of my time by myself, as I also have ME-CFS. Talk about a combination! Best thing to do is diagnose early.

(1)
Tom C,
March 21, 2011 1:15 PM

ADHD

For parents with such children, a good book to read is "A Magnificent Mind at Any Age," by Dr. Daniel Amen (his credentials are here: http://www.amenclinics.com/meet-dr-amen/credentials/) I wish I could have read it 30 years ago. There are non-medicinal approaches to living with this affliction. As I read his book, I discovered that it was like he had been living with me most of my life. He knew what I did, how I felt, and so on. As with almost any therapy, his methods are considered controversial by some; but, then, twenty or thirty years ago, such skeptics would have discouraged us from taking vitamins, too. Read Dr. Amen's books. After seeing him during the last PBS pledge, I went to our library and found many of his materials! Read about his work, and decide for yourself.

I live in rural Montana where the Cholov Yisrael milk is difficult to obtain and very expensive. So I drink regular milk. What is your view on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Jewish law requires that there be rabbinic supervision during the milking process to ensure that the milk comes from a kosher animal. In the United States, many people rely on the Department of Agriculture's regulations and controls as sufficiently stringent to fulfill the rabbinic requirement for supervision.

Most of the major Kashrut organizations in the United States rely on this as well. You will therefore find many kosher products in America certified with a 'D' next to the kosher symbol. Such products – unless otherwise specified on the label – are not Cholov Yisrael and are assumed kosher based on the DOA's guarantee.

There are many, however, do not rely on this, and will eat only dairy products that are designated as Cholov Yisrael (literally, "Jewish milk"). This is particularly true in large Jewish communities, where Cholov Yisrael is widely available.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote that under limited conditions, such as an institution which consumes a lot of milk and Cholov Yisrael is generally unavailable or especially expensive, American milk is acceptable, as the government supervision is adequate to prevent non-kosher ingredients from being added.

It should be added that the above only applies to milk itself, which is marketed as pure cow's milk. All other dairy products, such as cheeses and butter, may contain non-kosher ingredients and always require kosher certification. In addition, Rabbi Feinstein's ruling applies only in the United States, where government regulations are considered reliable. In other parts of the world, including Europe, Cholov Yisrael is a requirement.

There are additional esoteric reasons for being stringent regarding Cholov Yisrael, and because of this it is generally advisable to consume only Cholov Yisroel dairy foods.

In 1889, 800 Jews arrived in Buenos Aires, marking the birth of the modern Jewish community in Argentina. These immigrants were fleeing poverty and pogroms in Russia, and moved to Argentina because of its open door policy of immigration. By 1920, more than 150,000 Jews were living in Argentina. Juan Peron's rise to power in 1946 was an ominous sign, as he was a Nazi sympathizer with fascist leanings. Peron halted Jewish immigration to Argentina, introduced mandatory Catholic religious instruction in public schools, and allowed Argentina to become a haven for fleeing Nazis. (In 1960, Israeli agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from a Buenos Aires suburb.) Today, Argentina has the largest Jewish community in Latin America with 250,000, though terror attacks have prompted many young people to emigrate. In 1992, the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 32 people. In 1994, the Jewish community headquarters in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 85 people. The perpetrators have never been apprehended.

Be aware of what situations and behaviors give you pleasure. When you feel excessively sad and cannot change your attitude, make a conscious effort to take some action that might alleviate your sadness.

If you anticipate feeling sad, prepare a list of things that might make you feel better. It could be talking to a specific enthusiastic individual, running, taking a walk in a quiet area, looking at pictures of family, listening to music, or reading inspiring words.

While our attitude is a major factor in sadness, lack of positive external situations and events play an important role in how we feel.

[If a criminal has been executed by hanging] his body may not remain suspended overnight ... because it is an insult to God (Deuteronomy 21:23).

Rashi explains that since man was created in the image of God, anything that disparages man is disparaging God as well.

Chilul Hashem, bringing disgrace to the Divine Name, is one of the greatest sins in the Torah. The opposite of chilul Hashem is kiddush Hashem, sanctifying the Divine Name. While this topic has several dimensions to it, there is a living kiddush Hashem which occurs when a Jew behaves in a manner that merits the respect and admiration of other people, who thereby respect the Torah of Israel.

What is chilul Hashem? One Talmudic author stated, "It is when I buy meat from the butcher and delay paying him" (Yoma 86a). To cause someone to say that a Torah scholar is anything less than scrupulous in meeting his obligations is to cause people to lose respect for the Torah.

Suppose someone offers us a business deal of questionable legality. Is the personal gain worth the possible dishonor that we bring not only upon ourselves, but on our nation? If our personal reputation is ours to handle in whatever way we please, shouldn't we handle the reputation of our nation and the God we represent with maximum care?

Jews have given so much, even their lives, for kiddush Hashem. Can we not forego a few dollars to avoid chilul Hashem?

Today I shall...

be scrupulous in all my transactions and relationships to avoid the possibility of bringing dishonor to my God and people.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...