Sharing Life's Lessons on Living in this World and yet being Above it!

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Sunday, October 18, 2015

“Aham kills your inner beauty and joy”

‘The Happiness Road’ is a weekly Series on this Blog that
appears on Sundays where I share my conversations with people while exploring
their idea of happiness!

This Sunday I feature actor-dancer Vyjayanthimala Bali, who,
at 79, celebrates Life in each moment!

Picture by Vaani Anand

“It is not
what happiness is. It is what happiness does,” declares Vyjayanthimala Bali, as
she sits down in her study, adding, “Being happy with your Life, the way it is,
makes you deal with it better.” Her study is full of awards, citations and
souvenirs, showcasing a lifetime’s work in movies, in politics and as a dancer.
At 79, Vyjayanthimala, is enviably fit and so full of Life. Her big, beautiful,
expressive eyes radiate an indescribable sense of inner joy. And her million-watt
smile can revive the most heart-broken soul. Where does all this energy come
from? “From simply being happy,” she replies. “Whatever is beautiful makes me
happy. Life is so beautiful, it is full of beautiful people. So, I see all of the
beauty around me and that keeps me happy,” she explains.

Vyjayanthimala’s
Life has been an interesting one. The reigning goddess of Indian cinema through
the 50s and 60s (the first actor from the South to make it big in Bombay) and
then a successful stint in politics (she has been a member of both the Lok
Sabha and Rajya Sabha) in the 80s and 90s. Yet, she never clung on to either
profession. I ask her how she was able to let go of her celebrity-hood. Wasn’t
it difficult? “Not at all. Cinema and politics were mere opportunities that
came my way. I liked them and so I took them up. But when I stopped enjoying
them, I left them. My dance is who I am. It is as a dancer that I am the
happiest. The only constant in my Life is my dance,” says Vyjayanthimala. Her
husband, Dr.Chamanlal Bali, who passed away in 1986, inspired her to continue
dancing. “Quitting films was a conscious decision I took with Dr.Bali. I wanted
to be a homemaker. I wanted to get away from all the limelight. Which is why I
have avoided making a comeback although there have been numerous offers for
character roles. But Dr.Bali always told me I must never quit dancing. I am so
grateful for his foresight and encouragement. Without my dance I will not be
who I am,” she reveals.

Picture by Vaani Anand

Over the last
several years, Vyjayanthimala has been researching on ancient temple dance
forms. She continues to stage productions each year – there was one at
Bangalore’s Chowdiah Hall in September and there’s one at Mumbai’s famed Shanmukhananda
Hall in November. “As I research, I find that one lifetime is just not enough
to live and learn about everything that there is. This Life is like a drop in
an ocean. I realize that I am no achiever, I am just a pursuer. I am a student.
I am still learning. You see, apart from making me so fulfilled and happy, it
also takes me closer to the divine. The wealth of knowledge in this vast
Universe makes me wonder why there is so much aham (ego) in people. Aham
kills your inner beauty and joy,” she observes.

How does she
want to be remembered? She doesn’t answer the question directly. But she
responds with her characteristic spontaneity, simplicity and clarity: “Dr.Bali
taught me that true happiness is about making others happy. True happiness is
in giving. I practise this at two levels. I acknowledge everyone I know and
meet at a human level. For instance, on a day-to-day basis I never say no to
people asking to take photographs with me; I always stop to smile at a security
guard in a building or at airports. When you acknowledge and respect people for
who they are, it makes them happy, you see. Second, I offer myself, and
everything I have, to the divine in my audiences through my dance. The
happiness I feel dancing, being myself, I share through my dance. That’s it. I
think of nothing else.”

But,
obviously, like everyone else, she too has to deal with problems, crises,
worries, challenges. How has she managed to face and live through her low
phases? “I have learnt not to keep on and on at it when things don’t go the way
I want them to. I don’t focus on my worries and problems all the time – that
will only magnify them. I have discovered that as long as there is Life, you
have to keep moving on. There are no full stops in Life, there are only commas.
That’s the best way to live,” she shares.

In her hey
days as a movie star, Vyjayanthimala was considered as one among the pantheon
of female Hindi film actors – among Nargis, Meena Kumari, Madhubala and Nutan.
She was worshipped by both her male co-stars and her audiences for her
blemishless beauty and charisma. But, as she saw me and Vaani off at the door
of her Alwarpet home, I thought to myself – this is not Vyjayanthimala, the yesteryear
star and celebrity. Here is someone who personifies what Eleanor
Roosevelt (1884 ~ 1962), the former US First Lady, had to say: “Beautiful young
people are accidents of nature. Beautiful old people are works of art.”