Valentine's memories

Farmington couple's inspiring romance lasted nearly 65 years

Feb. 13, 2013

Betty and Hank Borgman

Written by

Susan Steinmueller

Staff Writer

Hank and Betty Borgman of Farmington always attended Farmington City Council meetings together.

They looked like such a close and happy couple that when Betty died on Dec. 24, I was not surprised to learn they had been happily married for over six decades.

When my editor asked me to look for Valentine’s Day stories, the Borgmans sprang to mind.

I found out from their eldest daughter, Christine, that their marriage had indeed been a happy one.

She sent me several photos of her parents through the years, beginning with the day they left the little white Quaker church in Detroit to begin their lives together in January 1948.

“The romance continued through the years, as is evident in these photos from various stages of their lives,” she wrote.

She told me her mom was an aspiring librarian working her way through school in the Wayne State University Library when she met her future husband, a handsome young veteran.

“He swept her off her feet, and she married him three months later,” she said.

Early in their marriage the couple moved to Farmington after buying a rundown but grand old house on Grand River near Warner Mansion.

They fixed it up together, she said.

It was the perfect place to raise their family, which grew to include Christine, Peter, Brad, and Cindy.

“We had an incredibly rich childhood,” she said. It was the action center of the neighborhood, she said, and there was “always room for one more at dinner, or for one more kid on a camping trip.”

Hank worked at his business repairing cash registers.

Betty, who earned her librarian degree, worked in the 50s and 60s to help pay for future college expenses. It wasn’t the norm for a mom to work then, but it was something Christine said they were proud of.

While Betty was the first in her family to go to college, all four of their children did so and became successful professionals.

Christine is now professor and presidential chair in information studies, UCLA; and is this year’s 2012-2013 Oliver Smithies Visiting Fellow, Balliol College, University of Oxford.

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When I talked to Hank, I asked him about what made their marriage so successful.“Well, she was a great partner in the first place,” he said. “Every day was a date.”Hank said they went everywhere together - with the exception of grocery shopping, which Betty did.

“We enjoyed our kids, we enjoyed our family,” he said. “I do miss her tremendously.”Hank summed up, “the secret to a good marriage is to choose the right person.”That seemed like the perfect answer to me.

The Borgman’s would have celebrated their 65th anniversary on Jan. 31.

“While Mom/Betty is missed by all, we can still share in the joy they had together, and shared with all of us,” Christine wrote to her family on that day.

On this Valentine’s Day, it’s nice to know how their happy marriage is still very much alive for the family.

For me too, their example was an inspiration.

I know even if I see Hank at council meetings, I’ll always remember Hank and Betty together.

Susan Steinmueller is a staff writer with the Farmington Observer. She got to know the Borgmans while covering the city of Farmington.