“If only you’d come out of your shell.” “You just need to put yourself out there.”

People treat being an introvert as some horrible disease that needs to be cured as soon as possible. Most act as if this personality trait is something to be challenged or beaten, but being an introvert or shy or quiet are not inherently bad traits. Who cares if you’re different from your other friends or family? What does it matter if you’d rather stay at home over going out with a big group?

Some people just get physically exhausted by spending a lot of time with other people. Instead of social interaction, some people need alone time to rest and recharge. I hate the phrase come out of your shell because there is NO SHELL! Being an introvert is either criminalized or mocked and that sort of behavior forces people who already spend a lot of time inside their heads to keep on doing just that.

You’re not helping anyone by trying to force people out of their “shell.” Expanding your comfort zone is a great thing, but that means many different things to many different people. Maybe it’s joining a club instead of going dancing or perhaps it’s learning something new instead of posting tons of selfies on Instagram.

The best thing you can do for the person in your life who you want to loosen up or branch out is to support them for who they are and to take an interest in what they like to do. Accept that people are different and accept your friend or child for who they are. Instead of encouraging them to conform to you, learn what it’s like to live like they do. Learn to maybe just sit and enjoy life without being in constant motion. You might like it better than you think.