If You Get Pulled Over, Make Sure You’re Not Crying

I’ve been pulled over twice in my life. Once for rolling a stop sign and once for speeding. My second offense had terrible timing.

I got pulled over the same day I discovered my son was not invited to a party. My man worked late. Again. And I offended a Target guest for changing my infant’s diaper in his stroller.

It was one battle after another.

After I finished rocking baby to sleep, I ran for the door. It was half past eleven, but I didn’t care. I needed to get out of the house. I didn’t want to break down in front of an audience.

I can thank my traditional European upbringing for that. Both my parents were loving, but stoic. So, I learned to conceal my emotions early on. This emotional reflex followed me into adulthood.

Whenever times get rough, I go for a long drive. My car is my refuge.

I grabbed my headphones, keys, and darted for the open air. I was zoning out to Holding On For Life by Broken Bells. Sobbing. Crying. Snot faced. I didn’t notice I was going ten miles over the speed limit. Until I saw the flashing red light.

Wiping my nose with my shirt sleeve, I pulled over, and put my hands on the steering wheel where the officer could see them. Then I just sat there. Waiting. And waiting. It seemed like twenty minutes passed before he came to my window.

Hurry up and ask me for my license and registration already.Please God, don’t let him shine his flashlight in my face. He’ll find out I was ugly crying and then I’ll really be humiliated.

The officer let me off with a warning. He was sympathetic. Guess I got lucky? Guess all the tears and confusion of the day were not wasted.

Have you ever wiggled your way out of a speeding ticket? Were tears involved?

Yep. Enjoy your youth. It gets harder once you’ve passed a certain age. Post ugly crying or not. Lol. Unless of course you remind him of his mom and THAT could go both ways depending upon his relationship with her.
😉
Great post.
I always feel as if l am riding right along with ya. Praying: don’t give her the ticket please!

Thanks for riding along, Diane! I miss ‘seeing’ you around these parts. Anyway, I was super relieved he didn’t cite me for speeding. As for mentioning his mother, I’m sure that would’ve worked against my favor. I was already in hot trouble!

I get out of tickets often! I’m sure my drunk guardian angel is behind it though. Only 1% is because of the boobies. I wish I COULD cry in those situations because I’m sure it would get me a lot further. I always have a grand plan worked out for “in case” and then in the moment completely freeze and forget it!

I once got pulled over when I was seventeen, I think, crying with my hair in a bun. I was definitely a wreck, but I’m sure the crying helped, and yeah, I got off. I think I was even wearing glasses! I must have been the look of innocence. I like that song, Anka. I hope you’re not sad still and everything is okay! Hugs!

I think your helplessness, your vulnerability, tugged on that officer’s heartstrings. How could he fine a young girl who’s clearly had a rough day? And, the bun. The bun may have sealed the deal.
As for me, It’s a new day. A fresh start. My babies are healthy, my heart is beating . . . life is good. Thanks for being you, Amy. You always know how to cheer me up!

I’m 46, and I’ve never had a speeding ticket. And it’s not because I’ve never driven too fast 🙂 Cops are typically biased toward younger females- I was pulled over many times and only given a warning. Acting really sorry helps too. It’s not fair though- my husband never got any breaks. And I warn my boys all the time that they will have to be extremely careful- that cops dislike young men as much as they like young women.
I think coastalmom is right- middle aged/older women may not be so lucky. But I find that I’m a more mellow driver as I age so it probably balances out 🙂

Miriam, I completely overlooked the male dynamic when it comes to cops and issuing tickets. I have two boys myself. Guess I have to prepare them to be particularly careful as well.
No chance of them getting a free pass because they’re tear stained and snot faced.Have a wonderful weekend!

I’ve only gotten one speeding ticket, but there was no wiggling out of that. The junior cop of the duo that pulled me over was gunning to add a tinted window fee to the ticket, so I found myself fortunate the senior cop was adamant I not be penalized for the luck of the rental car draw. Phew.

This post made me think of a few times my mom was pulled over when I was younger. She would burst into tears at the sign of lights, then explain how hard her life was and drive away with a warning. She might have gotten a ticket or two in there, but I am glad for each of those officers who opted not to route her already scarce funds away from food.

Only one ticket with all the commuting you do? That’s pretty darn good. This was my first time getting a pass. Crying and saying sorry has NEVER worked before. I must have looked like a wreck!
As for your mom, I’m happy to hear there are merciful officers on the road. Grace extended to the right person, at the right time, is so noble.
Have a lovely weekend, Deborah. Kick up your feet and just REST REST REST!

I’ve got a father in law who retired from the police force, so I have 1. Been schooled on how to deal with cops (good and bad) and 2. Don’t get tickets. However I do get pulled over often. I just can’t keep under the speed limit. Love love your blog.

Oh yes I have. In fact, the times I’ve cried (and they were legit cries. I was emotionally spent and had the heavy foot down on the pedal) I got out of the tickets. The two times I was just honest, “Yes officer, I was speeding” – once with no excuse – once when I was lost in a shady part of town – I got the tickets. The tears work! In fact, I think the officer was scared of me the time I broke down in an ugly cry in front of him!
(And for the record, I should not have gotten the ticket when I was lost. I was TRULY scared and trying to get the hell out of there!)

Kerry, sorry for taking what seems a 1000 days to get back to your “ugly cry” comment. It’s been rough these past few months. Juggling three kids isn’t easy. As I sit here now, the baby is pulling on my hair. Remember those days? Anyway, hope you had a restful summer and smooth start at work!