Well, okay. So this is my latest Facebook status. It was carefully crafted, each ALLCAPS in its very particular place, and really, it oughtn’t to be wasted as ephemera, when it could be in a BLOG:

Ahem.
PEOPLE OF ETERNIA!!!
I am here to end your sweet, sweet torment!

Just in case you were wondering, re: my last, something last, latest, vaguebookery (just the handful of you who care, WHO WITHER AWAY WITH EVERY HOUR I HAVE KEPT YOU IN SUSPENSE), O YE BRAVE SOULIES, YE:

Faint and sigh and pine NO LONGER! FOR THIS IS THE 6:43 PM EST OF TRUTH!

PEOPLE OF ETERNIA! I, EVEN I, SHE-ROID, HAVE SIGNED A CONTRACT WITH UNCANNY MAGAZINE, who have so, so (wisely?) (weirdly?) (well?) SO JUST BOUGHT the BIZARREST story I have ever WRITTEN, bar NONE (even the BIG BAH-HA, and that’s saying something, tho’ I don’t know WHAT!), and their acceptance letter went something like this:

“This might be the weirdest story we’ve ever received, and we f***ing love it.”

Which made me superhappy, so, yeah, thanks, Michael and Lynne, I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE THE WEIRDEST OF SOMETHING!

(Besides my eighth grade class at St. Jerome’s parochial school in Phoenix, Arizona.)

Anyhoo. Watch for the silver sky, pets. And thanks for your ENDURING PATIENCE.

The story’s called “Though She Be But Little,” and, you know. It’ll be out sometime. At a genre magazine near you.

2. NARRATING A STORY!

I’m on Book 2 of Shreffler’s CAT’S EYE CHRONICLES, this one VIPER’S CREED. I just did pickups for the first one on Monday. Book 2 introduces the DRACIANS. Well, Book 1 introduced them, really, only we didn’t know what we were being introduced to, back then.

(You know, I refused to write “OMG” in texts or updates for the LONGEST TIME, because I was a snob. Much in the same way I still refuse to write “SQUEE.” But OMG what I was MISSING that WHOLE TIME! Now I am suspicious I’m cutting out my own eyeballs by refusing to *SQUEE*, as it were, but what can you do? WE MUST REMAIN COMPLEX. And surely I am a more faceted and mysterious personality if I refuse to write *SQUEE* every time something SQUEEWORTHY comes up, right? RIGHT??? Anyone??? It’s just me then.)

This is all very exciting. I love reading. Well, I love reading UPDRAFT, anyway! What, am I the last one? WELL, I DON’T MIND!

You know what I’m going to read next??? CODE NAME VERITY! That’s right! In PARTICULAR because Amal and Caitlyn loved it SO MUCH and were AFRAID to tell me too much about it, so instead they just told me it had women friends and it was sad, and then I didn’t want to read it. But Jessica Wick, in her wisdom, sat me down and told me it does not end with the taste of sadness, but rather, of TRIUMPH. And then she explained WHY, and now I MUST READ IT. I won’t tell you, though. You probably don’t like spoilers. Not like me, who LOVES them. THE SPICE OF LIFE, SPOILERS.

But I am also going to read it because I am watching FOYLE’S WAR. I might also reread THE GUERNSEY LITERARY AND POTATO PEEL PIE SOCIETY while I’m at it. And also watch ENIGMA and CHARLOTTE GRAY again. Because. Everyone’s making WWII parallels anyway. I may as well immerse myself in the ART of it.