Gimme Jive! (Or was that Five?)

Once again I’m joining a group of writers for Five Minute Friday. Five minutes, one writing prompt, zero editing. Just write. Join us! Today’s prompt: FIVE

I always thought that deafness meant complete silence. Boy, was I wrong. My partial “sudden deafness” is LOUD. Beyond the new normal of a constant combination of ringing, buzzing and what I call the ever-present “seashell effect” is a variety of distortion, feedback and annoying-to-the-point-of-painful noises. The current variety (because it changes all the time) sounds like a high-pitched version of tuning in an old transistor radio. That squealing sound that happens when you get close to a station and then keep going past it into static again.

I’ve been to the doctor four times in six weeks. I get a hearing test and an injection IN MY EAR each time. Yes, it’s as fun as it sounds. Part of the hearing test involves word recognition. The audiologist sits in another room, like the x-ray people do, even though I’m pretty sure there’s no danger of picking up hearing loss by being near me.

She’s very kind and has a soothing voice. At least that’s what my “good ear” tells me. Because now I’m the person who leans in and says in my best old lady voice, “Talk into my good ear, sonny!” Keep in mind that I’m sitting in a sound-proof room, wearing headphones, closing my eyes and holding my breath so that I can shut out all distractions and focus completely on what I’m hearing. Or not hearing. Not exactly a real-world scenario for everyday hearing, but I’m trying to pass a test here, I’ll rig the system as much as I can. (By the way, I’m still at a 70% failure rate.)

On the other side of the glass, the audiologist speaks into my earbuds, one word after another. Say the wordbook. And my brain quickly chooses which word to throw back at her. Was it shook? Took? Look? Say the wordtake. Crud, my ear tried to squeal/dial a top-40 station right when she spoke. Was it lake? Bake? Rake? Back and forth we go, as I try to either keep up with her or fake it ‘til I make it. Sometimes I just hear Charlie Brown’s teacher and I can’t even come up with a guess for Wah wahh wah wahhh and so I have to say Dunno.

I don’t necessarily need people to talk any louder to me, I just need to pay more attention than I used to. But if you’re with me, help a girl out and include some charades if you can. Ask me if I’m cold and throw in a little shivering motion. It’ll save me from telling you, Yes. Yes, I feel old.

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9 thoughts on “Gimme Jive! (Or was that Five?)”

Oh, Patricia, it’s so nice to meet you. I love your sense of humour here. It’s so refreshing. I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for you. I hate when I can’t hear properly, whether from too much white noise around or just mumbling children. I pray that the Father’s healing power will restore you quickly and that He will strengthen you in the inner WOMAN (charades added) as you walk this journey.
Shauna Blaak (your neighbour in FMF#21 today)

Patricia, I am new to you and your story, but that sounds plain awful. (No pun intended). Asking the Lord to lay His hand on you and give you healing. If that is not His will, then I pray He gives you all the grace and sense of humor necessary to walk through this storm.

Hi, Patricia, That must be so hard. I love how you take me right into the details of the experience with the words and expressions. Any idea what caused it? Praying for you friend. May He restore what has been lost.

Thank you! There’s little known about the cause… some think it’s caused by a virus (that wouldn’t have necessarily made me ill) or by a circulatory issue in the ear. In any case, I am grateful for your prayers and for visiting me here. 🙂