In case you thought I was resting on my laurels after Catie and I made you some House of Anubis Valentines, don’t fret: I have once again arrived to save your relationship even if you’re not into supernatural mystery dramas for tweens. Just as I do every year, I’ve made up some Valentines from the pages of your “favorite” comics, and this time around I’ve added a touch of ahhhhhRomance to the New 52!

There were, however, a few that I didn’t get around to using for ComicsAlliance, just because I couldn’t make them work. So in case you’re curious, here are the Rejects:

If you’ve been following me on Twitter or Tumblr, you probably already know that I’ve recently been watching a show called House of Anubis. If you’ve never seen it, it’s basically The Goonies set at an English boarding school with Egyptian artifacts and curses instead of pirate treasure, done as a soap opera for teenage girls. Obviously, I have become thoroughly obsessed with it.

Fortunately, I was able to pass my obsession on to my cartoonist pal Catie Donnelly, and in the spirit of the show’s many relationships — and my dedication to doing things no one cares about but me — we’ve come together to make a set of House of Anubis Valentines!

For the past holy crap six years, I’ve taken it upon myself to make some extremely dubious Valentines out of comics to celebrate love and/or sabotage any chance my readers have of finding happiness, and now, this year’s Valentines are up at ComicsAlliance!

There’s also an extra one that I made knowing full well that I wouldn’t be able to post it over at the day job, but heck, it made me laugh. So just between you and me, check it out (probably NSFW, but you’re reading a comics blog at work anyway, slacker).

So enjoy! Maybe light a few candles, put on some soft music, pour yourself a glass of wine — so what if it’s only 2:30 PM? If your bosses have romance in their heart, they’ll understand. And if not, well, at least you’ve got the wine to fall back on.

Ah, February! When ahhhhhhhhromance is in the air with its constant companion, bitterness! And this week’s installment of Ask Chris, I indulge a little bit of both when I run down the most annoying couples in comics!

I also address a few quick questions, including the perennial favorite of people wanting to jump on Morrison’s Batman, which I’m sure I’ve answered before but which is a noble enough cause that I’ll help out when I can, throw out some recommendations for an ’80s movie marathon, and post an old favorite that I haven’t talked about in a while, the greatest Punisher cover of all time. Enjoy, while I await the tidal waves of comments from LiveJournalers shocked that I disparaged their OTP!

If you’ve got a question you’d like to see me tackle in a future column, send an email to comicsalliance at gmail.com with [Ask Chris] in the subject line, or put it on Twitter with the hashtag #AskChris.

Over at Andertoons, Mark Anderson has posted a set of Super Friends Valentines from 1980, and while the vast majority of them are the standard fare, there are a few — like the one above — that send a slightly dubious message.

That’s why over at ComcisAlliance, I’ve run down ten of the most dubious, featuring romantic no-nos from vague threats to actually stabbing someone with a pointy object. Admittedly, that last one might have a longstanding tradition in the world of romance, but I think only the metaphorical version is acceptable.