Avril Lavigne announced today via her MySpace page that she will be releasing a "totally rad" version of her single "Girlfriend" featuring members of the 70's punk group Wire, with all proceeds being donated to charity. Initially, the single will be released via digital distribution through iTunes, with other formats to be announced shortly.

Proceeds from the single will go to a suite of charities including Make Some Noise, Amnesty International, AmericanCPR.org, Camp Will-a-Way, Music Clearing Minefields, U.S. Campaign for Burma, Make-a-Wish Foundation and War Child.

"Really, I'm just thrilled to be working with them. They're like, the best band ever. Plus - don't tell anyone - but their drummer, Robert, is totally hot!" said Ms. Lavigne via her MySpace webpage. (http://www.myspace.com/avrillavigne)

In London, Wire issued the following statement via their PinkFlag website (http://www.pinkflag.com)

"Lately, Wire has been looking to get more involved with modern media and the Internet. As pioneers of modern music, Wire have always been at the cutting edge of pop culture. Reading thru Avril's Facebook page of her favorite artists and charities, Wire realized a golden opportunity presented itself to create a new form of performance art, fusing abstract pop elements and catchy sing along choruses. We plan on calling this 'pouty rock'."

Footwear maker Doc Martens has agreed to underwrite the production costs of the new single, as well as commemorate the event with a new "Avire" 8-eyelet, cherry red boot design. These boots are expected to reach retail outlets in early May in conjunction with the promotional campaign for the single.

Online response has been strangely muted following the announcement, with some fans of both Avril and Wire reacting in shock and disbelief.

Official Wire mailing list "The Ideal Copy" members staged a revolt by literally burning their copies of Wire's latest release "Read & Burn 03". Ms. Lavigne's fans, interviewed via an on-line poll at Hot Topic (http://www.hottopic.com), expressed disbelief as well. This was summarized best by an on-line post by lolcatz83: "...duh...who are these wir3 guys? OMG Avirl is *so* hotz!!!!1!!!!lol"

"Look - the whole thing is just ridiculous. Wire are supposed to be standard bearers of abstract, minimalist music that only appeals to musos," said Miles Goosens, Ideal Copy list maintainer. "I can't believe our heroes would sell out and record that kind of populist crap. Plus - I can't afford those boots. This sucks."

Single copies of the "Girlfriend" remix - now entitled "Girlfriend (No Warning Given)" - will be released to the press tomorrow, with iTunes posting the song for official download within 48 hours.

Good huh? Note how the first letters of the each of the paragraphs in the main section spell out a hidden message.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Just a quick note to let you know that I started my new job at Aperture Laboratories today. Since this is a government agency, I can't discuss the project I'll be working on - but it's an exciting chance to redefine the boundaries of light and physics, along with performing interesting Skinnerian operant conditioning chamber experiments.

Space is a little limted, so we have to share cubes. I'm lucky that my cube-mate is actually a real cube - and extremely quiet! Here's a picture of my new friend, the weighted companion cube:

Although I'm legally prevented from discussing details of my employer any further, if you'd like more information about Aperture Laboratories, surf here: