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How a Sugar Daddy Taught Me to Call the Shots in My Relationships with Men: Part 2

July 17, 2013

When I woke up, Der­rick was still lying next to me. I turned to face him and real­ized that he was actu­ally awake—he was just lying there watch­ing me. “I’ve missed you, Cassie.” My heart melted with his words. I felt whole again. I hadn’t real­ized how much I missed this man. In all hon­esty, I thought I had moved on, but hav­ing recon­nected with him like this made me remem­ber why I loved him so much.

We spent the entire day in bed together. We didn’t speak much—just stared at each other, and made love over and over again. I was mes­mer­ized by his pres­ence. Once upon a time, I was the one who was bring­ing youth and vital­ity to his life, but in that moment, I felt like he was the one who was reviv­ing me.

The next day, Der­rick and I took care of business—we dis­cussed the events that had unfolded months before. This time, I was com­pletely and utterly hon­est. I told him the real rea­son why Mrs. Fried­man broke my win­dow, I con­fessed about when and why I started dat­ing Josh, and I told him all about the pic­tures that his wife had threat­ened me with. He was silent for most of the con­ver­sa­tion, so I couldn’t tell if he was sad or angry.

After a few min­utes of silence, he finally spoke, and he was hon­est too. He told me his side of the story and ended by say­ing that he had filed for divorce three months ago, and that he was try­ing to sit­u­ate every­thing. He was will­ing to risk it all for me.

I was par­a­lyzed by his words. At that moment, Josh’s face ran through my mind—my sin­cere, lov­ing, inno­cent Josh who was caught in a web of lies and infi­delity. I dis­cussed my con­cerns about our affair with Der­rick, and we decided to con­tinue see­ing each other secretly until his divorce was final—it was in everyone’s best interests.

This time around, I called the shots. Der­rick was now my “mis­tress.” I enjoyed the sense of power I had, and def­i­nitely enjoyed hav­ing both men in my life.

As part of my many lies, I told Josh that he could no longer spend every night with me because my father would be mov­ing in and that he did not approve of us being together under the same roof.

Look­ing back, what I did was incred­i­bly self­ish and evil. Often­times, Der­rick would come to the house when Josh was there. He would shake hands with Josh, con­verse in small talk, and then excuse him­self to our bed. Josh would always make jokes about my “father.” Some­times I felt guilty, but more often than not, I just felt happy. I was lit­er­ally hav­ing the best of both worlds.

When I needed to expe­ri­ence the youth­ful night life, I went out with Josh. And when I wanted to go some­place expen­sive or needed a new hand­bag, I went out with Der­rick. The old man didn’t mind this arrange­ment because, after all, he had a sim­i­lar rela­tion­ship with this wife.

At the end of the day, every­one was get­ting what they wanted. For once in my life, I com­pre­hended what Mrs. Fried­man was try­ing to do. She too had the best of both worlds at one time. Now it was my turn.