Sexual Intercourse

Defined:
Sexual intercourse is the act of
placing the male penis into the female vagina, sometimes for sexual
pleasure only, sometimes only to create life, and many times,
for both purposes. Although outercourse, which is less risky,
puts the couple in similar positions to sexual intercourse,
the major difference is that sexual (vaginal) intercourse involves
actual penetration beyond the vulva and labia, into the vaginal
canal itself. One misconception about sexual intercourse is that
it is the hallmark, or definition, of 'having had sex'. That is
to say, if you have not had 'sexual intercourse', then you have
not 'had sex'. Mutual masturbation and petting aren't 'having
sex'; oral sex isn't 'having sex' --- but then, therein lies the
misperception. Sex and sexuality are not distinct and separate
acts. Having sex includes much, much more than sexual intercourse.
Petting, mutual
masturbation,
oral sex, anal
intercourse, and outercourse
are all ways to 'have sex'.

It also seems fitting to address
some of the questions we have seen raised in the discussion areas
of this website that involve tangents from actual penetration.

For instance, if two guys have
intercourse, is that the same thing as male-female sexual intercourse.
Because of anatomy, two males cannot have vaginal intercourse,
but they can have anal
intercourse (covered as the next topic). However, from an
emotional perspective, what takes place between those two males
can be as emotionally and sexually fulfilling as vaginal intercourse
is between male and female. Another question is whether it is
intercourse if it is an object other than a penis that is used
for penetration. For instance, one female can wear a plastic penis
and assume the male role, still effecting penetration, or can
simply use their hand with a fake penis, vibrator or other object.
Is this 'sexual intercourse'? That's a little more difficult to
say, though, once again, it can be emotional and fulfilling for
those two females as well. Some question whether or not a girl
can lose her virginity to an object rather than to a male penis,
and we think that this is a discussion for another time.

Negative Consequences:

There is risk of an unwanted pregnancy
with full vaginal sexual intercourse, and, as with other advanced
sexual behaviors, there is risk of contracting a sexually
transmitted disease like Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Herpes,
AIDS, HPV, Hepatitis, Trichomoniasis, Pubic Lice (crabs), or Scabies.
Another negative consequence of full sexual intercourse, at least
for most females, is that there is pain associated with the first
several times the vagina is penetrated. It varies greatly for
each female - some experience a little pain that is quickly surpassed
by the pleasure they feel, while for others, the pain does not
really subside immediately and can make the experience fairly
unpleasant. Some experience pain the first few times they have
intercourse, but with it eventually not being painful at all.

We would be remiss if we did not
mention that for some females, there are some negative emotions
that can result from sexual intercourse. This is partly because
of the sexual disparity between males and females and the double-standard
western society experiences and perpetuates. Sometimes the negative
emotions come from the idea that they are no longer 'innocent'
- that they have left something of their childhood behind. Sometimes
the negative emotion comes from the fact that their male partner
wasn't really interested in them, but instead, only interested
in 'scoring' - or taking the girl's virginity. And sometimes,
there is guilt because our society has been taught for many decades
that a bride who is not a virgin is not as 'valuable' or 'desirable'
as one who is.

We are hopeful that in the near
future, more and more sexual equality (including the level of
sexual experience) between males and females will change old notions
and that this will be less and less of an issue.

Positive Consequences:

While we want to encourage teens
to work their way up to full sexual intercourse gradually, we
also have to be honest in stating that sexual intercourse is the
pinnacle of a fully sexual relationship. With the right partner,
the emotional and sexual bond between two people joined temporarily
as one is very difficult to explain to someone who has not experienced
it. And, of course, we all know that sexual intercourse is the
most natural act experienced by our species, and that none of
us would be here without it!

Specific Risks:

Unwanted pregnancy is a significant
risk if no method of safe-sex is practiced, as is the transmission
of sexually transmitted diseases. If a couple has frequent intercourse
without using a condom or other method of birth control, an unwanted
pregnancy is not a matter of 'IF', but rather, 'WHEN'. On the
other hand, using consistent birth control EVERY TIME, takes that
risk from over 85% (using none) down to less than 1% (using birth
control pills). To be perfectly honest, considering that there
are a variety of birth control methods available, and that they
change the statistics so drastically in your favor, it is difficult
to understand why American teens continue to favor using no method
at all. We do know that it has a lot to do with a lack of effective
education, lack of easy availability, but mostly to do with the
North American attitude towards teens and sex (Just Say No!).
Keep in mind that just one method of birth control swings the
odds of a safe intercourse dramatically, and that combining methods
of birth control (such as birth control pills AND a condom), swing
it even more in your favor.

In addition to unwanted pregnancy,
full intercourse carries a greater risk of getting a sexually
transmitted disease, or of passing one to your partner, than do
other sexual behaviors. This because not only is there an actual
exchange of fluids between the two bodies, but also because there
is prolonged contact between the genitals. While birth control
pills, the morning-after pill, and other birth control methods
are effective against unwanted pregnancy, they provide no protection
at all against STD's. While we are hopeful that additional methods
to prevent STD's are in the future, the use of latex or polyurethane
condoms (male or female) is the only barrier protecting against
passing disease, along with knowing your partner, knowing their
sexual history, and being tested for STD's. Any couple seriously
considering first sexual intercourse should show their maturity
by getting tested together before they make that final move.

While we know that many males either
refuse or are reluctant to wear a condom,
claiming it makes sex less pleasurable, a more recent option,
called the FEMALE
CONDOM, is definitely worth trying. One of the main reasons
is that most couples polled after using the female condom stated
that neither felt any less pleasure. This is partly because instead
of adhering to the penis, it adheres to the wall of the vagina.
Also, while latex condoms do not transmit heat very well, the
Female Condom (which is not latex rubber, but instead a thin plastic)
actually transmits the natural heat of the vaginal walls extremely
well. Another point is that where the female condom sits on the
outside of the vagina, using a soft plastic ring, it often bumps
against the clitoris during intercourse, actually increasing the
pleasure for the female. On the down side, the female condom is
a little difficult to place into the vagina and cannot effectively
be used for a first intercourse unless the hymen is mostly already
gone, as the upper ring must be pushed upward until it reaches
the cervix, where it springs open and holds the upper end of the
condom in place. They are also a bit on the expensive side, but
worth it if you can afford them.