Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I should have known better. We should have known better. How many times does one couple need to learn this lesson? Wasn't once enough?

We'll file this post under: Full Disclosure.

Last night...I can't believe I'm doing this again. Last night we got caught doing the nastyknocking boots getting a bit frisky by Bailey. Some of you may remember the "wrestling" post, back when Morgan was about four and a half? Either way. We got caught again.

We were um...playing on the couch, when we heard this little voice.

Mama, my heart hurts.**

Logan, my very lovely husband, is a quick thinker. He says, honey go in the bathroom and find your inhaler and Mama will be in there in one second.

So I get up, put some clothes back on and go in the bathroom to help my child breath better. She uses her inhaler as she leans against me. We wait for a few minutes and she does it again. Then she says, Mommy, what were you and Daddy doing?

I think to myself for a second and say the first thing that comes to mind, oh we were playing doctor. Oh she says, ok then. Who was the doctor? Oh, um, well, my um....Daddy was. Ok, mama, my heart is better, goodnight. My heart at this point; about to explode. She patters down the hall, up the stairs and goes back to bed.

Needless to say, we moved our game of doctor upstairs. Behind locked doors.

I was not looking forward to this morning. I was hoping she'd not remember. It would be better that way. Maybe we should tell her she was sleepwalking, Logan had said. Took awhile before she brought it up. I was driving up to the school and she said to Morgan, Mommy and Daddy play doctor after we go to bed. Morgan, god love her, just laughed and laughed, but didn't say a word. We walked Bailey to preschool and as we walked to her class room, she leans into me and whispers, Mommy, you were having S.E.X., (she spelled it, all loud and crap, like I couldn't hear her) right?

I said the only thing I could, baby, do you really want to know? Ew, no she says. I never want to know that. Then don't ask. But please, keep it to yourself okay? Sure, but ewwwww mommy. Then she runs off, laughing to herself.

My cheeks are red just typing this. But you know, this is a full disclosure blog. Aren't you glad you stopped by this morning?

Once for each kid, that's not horrible right? We can try better for the boy, to not scar him for life or send him to therapy before he's five. But you know, sometimes you temporarily forget there are children in the house. At least until you hear that little voice say, mama or daddy. Kill joy.

We can't be the only ones, can we?

**Bailey is an asthmatic. When her asthma is acting up, she says her heart hurts. It's just how she explains it.

I have not been caught by my children. Yet. And you know why? When I was twenty something? My father literally walked in on me. He pretended he didn't notice and I pretended I was just sitting in his lap for comfort. Ever since then, even before I had children, I refuse to do it anywhere that does not have a locked door. I'm a prude, I know. But that was enough for my entire life.

omg only ONE time has hannah done this. she didn't see us but she heard us LOL she was sitting on the stairs when she was SUPPOSED to be in bed. when we got dressed and headed upstairs (we were on the effing couch too) there she was. we were like WTF? oh crap. she didnt ask anything but i KNOW she heard us. never again.