‘The Office:’ Floundering and carping

After last week’s “meh” ep, “The Office” folks came back full force with “Koi Pond,” starting with the Halloween-themed cold open. (Though a question was raised this morning at this office about what kind of parents would send their kids to a haunted house at a paper company warehouse; I’m guessing that most of the kiddoes have some sort of connection to Dunder Mifflin.) Daryl was a most excellent “gangster pumpkin,” wisely not commenting on Michael’s inappropriate (not to mention ancient, in pop culture terms) costume, then offering a very funny narration of the scenes the Dunder Mifflin-ites had set up inside the haunted warehouse. It all built to Michael’s even more inappropriate anti-suicide message (“Why is Christmas the only holiday that can have a message?”) — genius.

Michael is still not at all comfortable with sharing power with Jim (“He’s trying to micro-co-manage me”); it would be no surprise to learn that he had called the design firm ahead of time to make sure that they would insist on his presence during Jim’s call.

He apparently put more energy into putting Jim in his place than he did into watching where he was going — he returned to the office shoeless, soaking wet and offering a bizarre tale of a sudden flash rain/wind/lightning storm that Jim had somehow managed to avoid. The structure of this part of the episode was great — it played out like a mini-mystery that Michael initially refused to solve. Eventually, he was goaded into revealing that there had been no freak storm — he had fallen in the koi pond in the firm’s lobby, and had apparently flailed around for a long time before he pulled himself out.

Michael took a lot of ribbing for it, ribbing he did not respond well to. His respone was to — say it with me, people! — have a meeting in the conference room, at which he created a “Do Not Mock” list. The Dunder Mifflin-ites were to share traits they were sensitive about; whatever went on the list was not to be the subject of banter. Of course, Michael was the arbiter, and so it went pretty much as expected. Dwight’s issue with his small nose sparked lots of comments, and Kevin’s request that his weight go on the list prompted Michael to say no, that was too much — he talked him into paring it down to his belly, which Michael summarized as “huge gut.” Jim, naturally, called an end to the meeting, then gave Michael some very good advice — to make fun of himself. It worked until Michael, of course, went too far, tilting sympathy into pity and a kind of horror; even Creed seemed stunned by Michael’s revelations.

Going too far was also a big theme of the other storyline. Pam and Andy, as the lowest earners of the last quarter, were sent out to make cold calls. Many people mistook them for a couple, a suggestion that Pam found so absurd it was funny (“as if you had taken a bite from an Adam Sandler and jelly sandwich”); naturally, that hurt Andy’s feelings, and he responded in kind. Realizing this could actually work for them, they just went with it on one call…and Andy took it too far, repeatedly kissing Pam’s belly and, apparently, crying. Bottom line: They lost the sale. Pam did manage to overcome her annoyance with Andy — a considerable task, considering that he was HUGELY aggravating — to talk him up to Erin. Perhaps that will be the next great Scranton romance.

Back at the office, everyone focused more on teasing Michael (“They’re mocking you with wordplay”) than on asking the big question (after how did Michael get so wet): What was Jim doing while Michael struggled in the water? The security video — which Jim futilely forbade his co-workers from watching — told all: Jim, in a move that somehow suggested that photo of Lee Harvey Oswald’s shooting in which the cop lurches away from the shot, pulled away, seemingly allowing Michael to fall. The office turned, making snide comments about Jim, which seemed to put Michael back on Jim’s side.

All in all, a terrific episode.

What we learned: Meredith has a roommate. Angela does, in fact, eat like a squirrel. And Erin seems to be working a little crush on Andy, too.

Unanswered question: How long was Michael in the pond? Will he actually shell out $300 to compensate the company for the koi he killed?

Best lines: “Nobody toold me what people were. Label yourselves, or you take what you get.” — Daryl, after misidentifying Angela’s black widow costume as an octopus and Kelly’s “Fifth Element” character as “a burn victim.” “I’m not gonna bump!” — Michael refusing to take part in a fist bump. “I’m not used to being the butt of the joke. I’m used to being the face of the joke.” — Michael.