Monday, June 18, 2012

The Grace to Forgive Misunderstandings

The longer relationships go, in
trust, the more they grow in confidence of rapport.

There will be misunderstandings.This is the point; how else is trust to be
forged?Good relationships are characterised by the forgiveness of misunderstandings.

First, let’s look at the nature of
misunderstanding.

In the mix of some great
interactions there are pieces (literally bits) of messages that are
misunderstood, whether not communicated, heard or replied well (or a combination
of these).This highlights the mystery
of communication, and the limits of the conscious human mind, together with the
individual motives and reason that shift focus from where it’s meant to be.

Good Friends – Good Humour

Isn’t it a feature of strong friendships
that parties to them can laugh off ‘senior’ and forgettable moments?This is feature of the high trust that’s been
earned both ways over time.It’s grace
for sure and certain.Grace understands
that communication errors will happen.

But there’s more... let’s not
forget the forgettable blunders.

Somehow there’s also a generous
allowance for mistakes of intention to be made — those due to moral failures,
like a lack of loyalty.Everyone should
know that to be disloyal, a vice in example, is to be human.

Child Psychology – Applications To
Friendship

The difference between good
friends and those with fractured relations is summed up in the typical child’s
response.In reaction to relationship
situations children are either fun-loving or hurt.

It’s easy to take that child
analogy into adult communication, for no matter how mature we become we’re only
an instant away from reacting like children again.It’s the higher mind — the higher thinking
processes — that, of course, protects us from going there.

The Recipe For Success

It is easy to envy people who have
maintained their ‘best friends forever’ relationships all their lives.These have occurred through no mistake.Forgiveness must necessarily have played its
part.

When there is conflict in any relationship
— and it will occur
(always does) — both parties have their choice of response.Will it be the practice of humour to issue
grace (so long as that grace is not taken advantage of) or will it be hurt
feelings that characterises the mood?The former is sustaining the relationship; the latter straining it.

It depends on each person to
determine how important the relationship is.