Ted Johnson, a former Patriots linebacker (won three Super Bowls, played at the University of Colorado), is now hosting a radio show in Houston. He was asked who the ugliest spouse was on the Patriots during his time there.

That’s something he probably should have not answered. But he did. “He won’t hear this – Vince Wilfork,” said Johnson. Whoops.

I bet you're the kind of guy that would **** a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you.

Who said that? Who the **** said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle toed cock-sucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy ****ing godmother said it. Out-****ing-standing. I will P.T. you all until ****ing die. I'll P.T you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!

My thoughts drift back to erect nipple wet dreams about Mary Jane Rottencrotch and the Great Homecoming **** Fantasy. I am so happy that I am alive, in one piece and short. I'm in a world of shit... yes. But I am alive. And I am not afraid.

You know what, F it, it's Friday and most of you should enjoy it, plus I feel I should share this beauty with the world.

Yes, she is on rollerskates, hoola hooping, topless, and yeah those panties had jingle bells. Santa was very good to me this year.

This a screenshot from a phone video, I had to do a bunch of crap to clear exif data so I hope at least one of you douches appreciate it.

Also, she is in no way my typical type, but I thought it was funny that I had probably one of the only Omaha approved ladies on CP. Oh and yeah, obviously crazy as shit, but controllable and fun crazy.

You know what, F it, it's Friday and most of you should enjoy it, plus I feel I should share this beauty with the world.

Yes, she is on rollerskates, hoola hooping, topless, and yeah those panties had jingle bells. Santa was very good to me this year.

This a screenshot from a phone video, I had to do a bunch of crap to clear exif data so I hope at least one of you douches appreciate it.

Also, she is in no way my typical type, but I thought it was funny that I had probably one of the only Omaha approved ladies on CP. Oh and yeah, obviously crazy as shit, but controllable and fun crazy.

Too fat.

Joeckel-esque arms, legs of Bo Jackson, and her face was left out for a reason.

The difference between you and other guys who have cute hookups, gfs, wives etc, is we don't use "I ****ed a hot chick" to make up for being a complete moron.