Perfectly Good

Jesus, from that nervous introduction that turned into a mentor. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, on the sad day when you gave me a friend to sit there in the stillness with me. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, from the fearful prayer that asked for you to give me clarity, to a passion and calming peace that you gave to me. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, from the conviction you pour out on me that leads to the hard, tear-filled conversations. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, on the lonely nights that lead into lonely mornings. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, when the words and actions of others hurt me. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, when the beauty of your creation in a sunny day or a thunderstorm by night declare your glory to me. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, when friends fail and don’t look so much like friends. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, when I feel rejected and defeated by those around me. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, when the tears fall down my face and I feel far from your goodness. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, when you’re silent. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, at the end of the most joyful days. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, when my self control lacks and I fall back into that sin, yet again. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, when no one is around to catch my tears except for you. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, when I finally realize your goodness to me. You are perfectly good.

Jesus, when I fail to see your goodness again and again, day after day. You are still so perfectly good.

My sweet Jesus, You are perfectly good.

So, throughout the last few weeks I’ve compiled this list, things that I struggled to see God good in, things that I forgot to see His goodness in, things that hurt and I still don’t feel are a part of His goodness, some things that have gone through all of those stages in the last weeks. I mean I’ve been reading these out loud to myself daily for weeks, stuck in this weird paralyzation. Knowing His goodness to be true, but not being able to believe it, not being able to get to a point where He truly was good to me, even when I was hurting, even when it didn’t feel good. I couldn’t see His goodness in most of these things, I couldn’t bring His goodness full circle in most of these things, but He hasn’t stopped reminding me of His sweet goodness in this season. He hasn’t stopped reminding me how He’s constantly working and doing things, simply just because He loves me, simply just because He is perfectly good and cannot deny His goodness, even from me, all sinful, wretched, and filthy as I am.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. {James 1:17}

I often wonder how people can walk through this dark, broken world without the hope of a good Father like my Abba. A friend recently said to me something along the lines of this: that we want God to do all things for our good but we continually forget that the “all things” we ask for include the most painful things, seasons, and relationships in our lives. For some reason, it had never struck me that my definition of ‘good’ was so different than God’s. It never struck me until very recently that my Jesus could never be too good to me, He’s perfect, that means perfect goodness. We’ve got to understand God is simply and perfectly good, that His character is His character, unchanging, unfailing, and so, so good.

And in your goodness, Jesus, I have hope. Because you bought me back. Because you are sovereign. Because no loneliness or temptation or hurt could ever change your goodness. Because not even death itself could change your goodness. Jesus, lead me into your goodness again and again, don’t let me forget your sacrifice, don’t let me forget how good you have been, are, and will be. Because oh Jesus, were you good to me on that cross.