News Report Of Neighbors Breaking Into House To Smoke Weed And Eat Turkey Is The Most Detroit Story Ever

Yesterday was Make Fun Of New Orleans Day here at TSS. But don’t get it twisted: this is an equal opportunity website. Today’s slander is aimed at Detroit.

This news report by a rather…bombastic…news anchor on the scene describes one household that decided to take months-long trips at a time. Well, the neighbors knew all about their travel schedule so they’d break in, hang out, smoke weed and fry turkeys.

The funniest part it the neighbors co-signing the break-ins like they were just normal hangouts. As one of the witnesses said: “this is Detroit: the hungry capitol of the world!”