why do well when you can just skate?

Book’em Dano

When people blame Perl, we throw the book at them. No, really, we do. At just over 500 pages of densely-packed Perl advice printed on the nice paper, we were able to get the book to come in at about a pound and half, which is the same as five baseballs. It hurts to get hit by five baseballs, and that’s what you deserve when you write Defective Perl.

You can buy the book if you like, or even read about it on its website (The Effective Perler), but then you might learn some Perl and that would be no good for writing Defective Perl.