About Me

In 2008, I needed to start this blog. Because someone (and that someone was going to have to be me) needed to speak about the truth. Someone needed to tell the truth, no matter how blunt, how painful or how terrifying that would be. Read more »

Women

Understanding can overcome any situation, however mysterious or insurmountable it may appear to be.~Norman Vincent Peale

So let me give you a couple of examples. You get her number which she gives to you readily, yet she doesn’t return your calls nor pick them up when you call. Or she sets up a date with you and then, cancels last minute. Or she is always busy and can never make time to speak to you or spend more time with you.

Yes my friend, you have a woman who is blowing you off! If you are making all the moves on this chick and she is giving you absolutely nothing back, then I can tell you right now, that there is nothing you will accomplish by stalking her or calling her 5 times a day instead of once. I’m also here to tell you, she most likely is not interested in pursing anything further with you. Its a hint dude, so read the signs and move on. I know it sucks when they don’t like you the way that you do, but such is life. Not everyone that you like is going to like you back…. no matter what you do.

Don’t sweat it. You’ll live =)

Now there is a difference between a woman that is blowing you off and a woman that is being flakey. A woman blowing you off, will usually give you nothing back to work with. A woman that is being flakey means that sometimes she gives you what you want and other times she doesn’t. You can probably describe her actions as intermittent. When a woman is being flakey she is most likely interested in you, but is testing you. In other words they are seeing how much of her BullS***T you are prepared to take and how effective her little games and mannerisms will be with you. The more effectively she is able to manipulate you, the less interested she will be in you. Click here to read more »

Happiness always sneaks in a door you did not think was open
~ Anonymous

Besides the minority of women who are looking for: a one night stand, friends with benefits, or casual dating – the majority of women are looking for something that will result in a happy long-term relationship. If that’s what you are looking for too, then here is a heads up on what women ultimately look for to determine if you are boyfriend, long-term, marriageable material.

1) She must feel safe and protected around you

There are many levels of safety and protection that a woman can feel and that she needs to feel. On the most basic, level a woman must feel like it is safe to communicate with you and to be in your presence. For example if you meet her walking in the street, at a club, or at a work function, she will want to know whether she is physically safe with you by being in your presence. The key to this is to know what your intentions are and for them to be congruent with what you are projecting in your interactions. For example, if you see an incredibly attractive woman in the street, it’s better to approach her and say something along the lines of, “Excuse me, I was trying to think of an excuse to say hello, but I just couldn’t find one – so hello” rather than walking up to a woman and asking her for the time and then talking about the weather (all in the mean-time being preoccupied of thoughts of how you would really like to sleep with her).

Here is the key thing to understand: when you really get congruent with who you are – you will be able to talk to a woman about anything and say whatever it is that you want, and she can feel attraction for you. This works because women are able to vibe out or sense really quickly what your “presence” is. I can’t tell you how many times my women friends have met a stranger or a colleague and said, “I don’t know what it is about that guy – but he just gives me the creeps”.

The secret is: it wasn’t anything that this guy said; it was EVERYTHING else he was communicating that didn’t involve his words. His presence, his appearance, his behavior, and/or his demeanor.

Women are intuitive, more than they even understand. And, they will intuitively be able to pick up whether it feels safe to be around you, or whether they should get away from you as fast as they can.

Once you are dating a woman, then security and protection can be demonstrated by helping her not only feel physically safe but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually safe as well. Click here to read more »

You can visit this newly created page <here> to view other frequently asked questions about dating, relating and attracting women.

I get this asked all the time. HAF, are women less logical than men? And, how do you reason with their logic?

I believe that both and women can be irrational or illogical at times and it’s really dependent on “who is more logical” but more on “who is emotionally mature”.

The more emotionally mature a man or woman: the greater lines of communication; the more rational relationship behavior is; and the greater opportunity for real intimacy to arise.

A big part of this, is selecting a woman who does not LIVE in “high maintenance drama mode”. This ultimately, will have an impact on the way that you live your life and experience your relationship with any woman.

Part of this, is realizing that no matter how great you think this woman is: she may be using her emotional immaturity and drama to control you. So be aware of it and don’t fall for it.

Hope you guys enjoyed QandA week. Please feel free to write other questions you have below and I’ll answer the most popular ones next month.

Be in touch with you all again soon,

Hot Alpha Female.

P.S. Music by James Holland called “Hot Alpha Female” and you can listen to the full song <here>

This video is tackling the question, “Do I have to Lie to a woman to attract her?”

Well, firstly what do you feel a need to lie about to woman? Why would she not be attracted to or turned on by the truth. I would say it’s the fact that people are dishonest today which are killing their chances with women.

Being the truest to yourself and your intentions will blow some women out of the water and attract more women into your life that you can handle all at the same time.

Keep a look out for the next video coming out week answering the question, “Are women less logical than men?”

Please write your comments down below. I would love to know what they are.

If you want more on how to being a man and attracting women <click here>

See you in the next video,

Hot Alpha Female

P.S. Music by James Holland called “Hot Alpha Female” and you can listen to the full song <here>

Have you ever had a woman say something like “I’m fine”, or “it’s ok”, or, “nothing’s wrong”, or “never mind, I’ll get it”. These kind of passive aggressive comments can leave you confused as to what they mean and what to do about them.

Is everything actually ok? Is everything fine? Did you really do nothing wrong? More importantly how do you handle a chick when she says something like this and CLEARLY something is wrong.

In this video, I give you a plan on exactly how to handle it and how to discern the reason why women act the way that they do.

“Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting in a particular way.”~ Aristotle

So, for those of you that have been following me for a while, you would understand that I put particular emphasis on developing skills like: presence, assertiveness, and strength. What I often get asked is HOW to display this on a daily basis, particularly during interactions with women.

First, let me say that by displaying such skills comes from working on something “inside” rather than focusing on something the “outside”. It also doesn’t necessarily come from just doing a whole bunch of random things differently. It comes from selecting specific and particular areas of yourself and your life and masterfully putting the right pieces together.

So, what I’m saying is that developing these qualities is like art. It takes a level of skill, finesse, and experience to bring all different components of your life together. So, for those of you that are coming from a quick fix mindset of “developing presence” overnight – then you have come to the wrong place because something this great takes a little time, a lot of courage, and some serious application.

With that little disclaimer in mind, let’s continue on with one way you can start developing your presence. I’m sure you have heard a lot about the term self-discipline and all the fancy definitions of it. What I believe to be the true definition of self discipline is holding yourself accountable. In a sense, it’s making and keeping certain promises to yourself. When you can do this, you have more integrity with yourself and therefore, create a space where other people are more likely to hold you to it as well. Click here to read more »

Guess what? So many men don’t know that the odds are actually in their favor when it comes to attracting high quality beautiful women.

Let’s face it there is a greater supply of beautiful women than there is of eligible men. In fact, an ultra attractive eligible man is very hard to find these days, making you a very rare commodity.

But what makes you eligible? What makes you hot on the market? I believe it comes down to four core components – that once are integrated into who you are and who you are being will make you a sure catch!

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”~ Theodore Roosevelt

You like this girl. Maybe she is a friend. Maybe she is someone you’ve already taken on a first date. Maybe she is someone who walked past you at college or at work and you already feel like you want her and you want her now. But here is the dilemma. You don’t know how to get her to the next stage. In the pick up community they call this escalating. Moving from one point to another in a forward direction. For example, from an approach to a number; from a conversation on the phone to a date; from a date to the bedroom; and so on. And, it’s during this process that can be really hard. Sometimes you don’t know where the next step is. Sometimes you don’t know if you can move forward (because some of you are scared of). Sometimes it’s because you are experiencing resistance and you don’t know what to do about it.

So here is an action plan for those of you that are in this position or have ever found yourself in this position in the past and exactly how to get out of it.

Evaluate what situation is in front of you.
Sometimes, when we are so focused on a goal and getting there you can lose sight of why you wanted it in the first place. For instance, maybe you had a goal of meeting this woman – because you think that having her in your life would make you are much happier person. Yet in the process of trying to get her into your life you are making yourself miserable. So, I ask you, “What is the point?” Part of evaluating the situation in front of you allows you to gain some perspective. It allows you to sit back and assess the situations. Sometimes having multiple opinions and perspectives can help with this process. Doing this will help you regain control over your emotions and consciously help you decide in which direction you would like to go. Click here to read more »