Men and women are wired differently and experience sexual pleasure differently Chances are that if everything you have learned about sex has come from porn or your male friends, you may be making some common mistakes without even realizing it. We know your partner’s pleasure is as important to you as your own pleasure, so read on for some pitfalls guys fall into between the sheets and what to do about them.

1. Mind Your Fingers- The female clitoris is an incredibly sensitive spot, so don’t come at it full force. Instead, start off slow and gentle and, following her cues, gradually build up to more pressure. Also keep in mind, when putting your fingers into her you aren’t digging for gold so don’t jam them in there; slow and steady wins the race every time.

2. It’s Not Just in the Lips- Kissing on the lips is all fine and good, but there are numerous other erogenous zones on the female body. Do some exploring with your mouth to find your partners and up the arousal factor. One of the obvious places are the nipples, but the neck, ears, belly and thighs are also very sensitive.

3. Ask First- Does spanking really turn you on? Well, it might have the opposite effect on your partner. Before trying anything too out of the ordinary (anal, bondage, hair pulling, etc.), make sure your partner is comfortable with it. Also, ask before expecting it to be performed on you.

4. No Jackhammer Needed- In pretty much every porn film the male partner vigorously and frantically pumps himself over and over into his ecstatically moaning partner. Real life sex though is decidedly different; envision rolling waves, not a jackhammer, when thrusting (unless asked, of course!).

5. Cover It- There are numerous mistakes that can be made with condoms that can leave you and your partner open to pregnancy and STI’s, so take note. Make sure the condom fits properly and is put on correctly, including lubricant on the inside to decrease friction. Speaking of lube- be careful of what type of lube you are using since some can break down condoms, making them less effective. Thinking of double bagging it? Wearing two condoms can actually increase the risk of them breaking, one is enough.

What is the biggest mistake a man can make in bed? Not listening to his partner. Every woman is different so talk to your partner about what they find pleasurable in bed.