negativity

Our reactions to the truth may be negative, but that says more about us than the truth itself.

I was once in love with a girl who said she no longer wanted to be with me. That truth broke my heart. I didn’t want to hear it. It hurt like hell.

My reaction was harsh, but that doesn’t mean the truth was negative.

Who’s to say that something is negative or bad just because it conflicts with our agendas?

Who’s to say that something is negative or bad just because it forces us to change, adapt, and reinvent ourselves?

Who’s to say that something is negative or bad just because it makes us uncomfortable or just because we don’t like it?

Do our personal feelings of fear, disappointment, anger, and insecurity become the arbitrator for what Reality is?

If a Doctor told me I was going to die tomorrow, I would probably be sad and scared, but does that mean the truth of my forthcoming death is negative?

If so, how can I be sure of that? How do I know?

I, personally, don’t think we’re being skeptical enough when we say things like “this is a bad situation or this is a negative truth.” What does that really mean? How do I really know that?

I can be certain of what I feel. When I am sad or angry or depressed, I can be certain that I feel bad. But how can I go from FEELING bad to saying that the truth of a situation ACTUALLY IS bad?

Here’s an example that’s off the subject a bit, but it may help clarify:

If I try a taste of chocolate ice cream and I decide that I don’t like it, I might express myself by saying “chocolate ice cream is gross.”

In reality, chocolate ice cream is just chocolate ice cream.

“Grossness” is not a property that exists inside of chocolate ice cream. “Grossness” is a description of how much I personally dislike the taste of the ice cream.

My tastes, however, do not define what the ice cream is in an objective sense. Some people will taste the same flavor and they will say “it’s great.” Even then, however, those people are just describing their taste.

In an analogous way, the truth transcends all the different labels we put on it.

Truth is not defined by the distaste we may have for it, because the truth is bigger than our reactions to it.

In the same way that chocolate ice cream is not gross, the truth is not negative.

The next time you get ready to form a pessimistic conclusion about anyone or anything, just ask yourself the following 2 questions;

1) How do I know beyond a reasonable doubt that this negative conclusion is true?

2) Am I using the same standard of scrutiny and skepticism that I would use if someone were asking me to draw a positive conclusion about this situation?

Negative until proven positive?

When someone tries to put a positive spin on a situation, we usually become very rational and demand evidence of the highest kind. But when disempowering ideas are advanced, we tend to take those thinking caps right off like a jury that’s been paid under the table. It’s as if someone tricked us into making negativity the default position.

“If you can’t prove with mountains of scientific data that there’s something positive about this situation, I get to adopt the most depressing interpretation possible without having to answer any of the same tough questions about my pessimistic view. Then, on top of that, I get to call myself a “realist” and me and my buddies can make fun of you for being really stupid and naive. Okay?”

What? How did we get there?

A negative assumption is still an assumption

A buddy of mine recently asked me “do you try to make everything positive?” I replied “Not at all! I just refuse to give negativity a free pass. There’s no need to turn a negative situation into a positive one if you don’t assume that it’s negative to begin with.”

If being positive is difficult for you, I get it. If you’re at a place in your life where you don’t know what to think or do, why force yourself to smile if it feels fake? Fortunately, you have more options than being either negative or positive. Instead of assuming that things will turn out horribly, when you really don’t know what’s going to happen for sure, you can simply choose to be open to possibility.

Instead of being negative, be neutral. If you can’t be positive, be open to possibility. You’ll be surprised by how far that takes you.