There’s an assumption that you go to therapy to fix what’s broken. I believe this is a reason why people regard therapy with such hesitation. It’s painful to face your fragmented life and it can be even more painful to pick up the pieces. If you’re a bereaved parent, you might not see the point…

Since my daughter, Blake, died, I’ve heard the word “trauma” a lot. Therapists have said things like, “…because of all the trauma you’ve experienced…” or “…you’re having a trauma response…” I decided to google this word and here’s what I saw: The experience of losing a child is actually part of the definition of trauma.…

Part I Part II This, the third article of the four-part series on homicide loss, explores in more detail the difficulties faced by co-victims and how those in their community can help them. The first area of focus — support during the legal process — deals with the justice system and how it affects…

Becoming a bereaved mother results in many losses. I didn’t just lose my twins, I lost a lot more. I lost an entire future that changed the second they passed. There are many other losses that people don’t think about when they think about child loss. They number many, but here are a few I…

Read Part I In this the second article in the series on homicide loss I look at the challenges faced by co-victims in dealing with society’s response to their loss. Our society is fascinated by crime. Murder sells, violence sells, drama sells. Photos and films repeatedly glamourize the action and thrill of police and…

Part I — The challenges faced by homicide loss families I am a co-victim of homicide, a murder survivor. Some refer to me as the mother of the boy who was killed. At times, it feels as if I don’t even have a name, such is the stigma surrounding homicide. Whatever the term, the fact…

The dictionary defines a scar as “A mark left by a healed wound, sore, or burn.” There is an additional definition as well: “A lasting aftereffect of trouble, especially a lasting psychological injury resulting from suffering or trauma.” This second definition describes my scar. I have spent a lot of time lately thinking about this…