Grand Designs 14Th October 2015 - Marriage Guidance

I'm a big GD fan so apologies for posting about it again, although this is less serious.

Last night's couple seemed very happy with each other but they were recently married and the guy seemed to totally ignore any input his wife made. His lack of interest in what she thought doesn't bode well.

She very sensibly thought using straw bails for interior walls was a waste of space.

It also made me wonder if self building is a bit of a "guy" project. Most people on here seem to be male. My wife isn't that bothered and I have to press her to look at plans to make sure she is happy with them.

I work in London while wife is at home in Scotland. Even she would admit though that with her special awareness the roof would probably end up on upside down. I'd love to leave her to it if I could.

Edited-

Who am I kidding. She's not getting near my house! But a bit of help sometimes would be nice. In fairness she has picked all the bathrooms and wants to pick the decor but I have still stuck my nose in there.

I haven't watched it yet (I rarely watch commercial television live for obvious reasons)

But one thing about all these programs they like to dwell on "problems" whether they be financial, technical, or emotional. I would rather they dealt more with the technical aspects of a build and it's unique features.

My SWMBO has had an input into our build, certainly from the point of agreeing the plans and the features, though as we discussed before she has an inability to visualise spaces. When I marked out the plan of the house real size on the ground, I got ear ache because "it's too small". then when the foundations were in and the dwarf walls built, it was still "a bit small". Now we have an actual building in place it's suddenly become "massive"

So you can forgive the average bloke for ignoring such comments early on. But if when we actually had a building it was still deemed "too small" then I would be in trouble.

Another problem with SWMBO is now the building is part way through build, she throws in things like "can we have an extra window in there?" I answer no not without going back through planning again.

Man thing in our case. We spent 8 years restoring our Grade II Georgian place and I had to promise that the next move would be a new house. Didn't mention that we'd be building it....

Now that we've started down that path, my wife can't get interested in the million and one decisions to be made, so she's happy to leave it to me to crack on. I like to think that's love and trust, and that I'm really lucky to be able to pursue my ambitions. Of course, it might be that she's too busy working on her exit plan...

My wee woman was hands on carrying blocks in the footings and even walking tiles up on the roof. She wasn't much good at plasterboarding as she is a bit short but more than done her bit.
She took more of a role picking all the finishes out though as long as I gave her 6 months to think it over make a choice and change her bloody mind 50 times.
Not sure about how last night's house will work as he will be butchering animals in one room and next door you will have a room full of women doing yoga.
The way Kevin went on about ewi you think it was reinventing the wheel and he must have said thermal mass at least 3 times. Hope Jeremy didn't watch it. Under no circumstances should you be able to hang your coat on the wall without a hanger. The straw wall was where I think he lost the plot.

I just remembered. The house wasn't finished to get the answer to this question and as pointed out they often ignore technical details anyway.

But-

They had no grid connection, 10 solar panels and a very small wind turbine. They then had battery storage. I don't see how that could possibly be enough generation capability over a few dull days with no wind. Especially as they plan to run businesses from home which will use electricity. Did they say how much storage they had?

I'm a big GD fan so apologies for posting about it again, although this is less serious.

Last night's couple seemed very happy with each other but they were recently married and the guy seemed to totally ignore any input his wife made. His lack of interest in what she thought doesn't bode well.

She very sensibly thought using straw bails for interior walls was a waste of space.

It also made me wonder if self building is a bit of a "guy" project. Most people on here seem to be male. My wife isn't that bothered and I have to press her to look at plans to make sure she is happy with them.

I just remembered. The house wasn't finished to get the answer to this question and as pointed out they often ignore technical details anyway.

But-

They had no grid connection, 10 solar panels and a very small wind turbine. They then had battery storage. I don't see how that could possibly be enough generation capability over a few dull days with no wind. Especially as they plan to run businesses from home which will use electricity. Did they say how much storage they had?

They did mention "backup generator" though. So it is off grid and uses diesel for electric.

Looks like a Ubbink system. Not sure what advantages it has (if any) over a standard rail based mount. I guess there are no roof penetrations required if that's an issue for youhttp://www.buypvdire...Solar_Flat_Roof

Well I thought that this weeks GD was a little inspiring on a number of levels, but having done some TV in the past I think I know why they cut things the way they do and focus on what they do. It must be good telly cos it gets big audiences, including you and me, and audience is the measure of good telly - yes. Grubbing around in peoples relationships, the somewhat odd - to the thinking person, decisions they make, the tantalising lack of detail and the edge of your seat 'will it won't it work / can they afford it' - they are not even married will they see this through together stuff are all part of the mix. The real world, which most of us inhabit is a whole other country where we do things differently, to bowdlerise L.P. Hartley!

I am sure that if you took the conversations between Jackie, SWMBO / Wife / Partner are frowned upon here, and myself over the details such as her worries over budget and my concerns over how I am going to fit the gadgets I think we will need (want) around the kitchen / lighting / decor / bathrooms / flooring / furnishings / storages space / cladding and vast open spaces supported on columns of air she would like it would not make good telly. However if - I had never built anything or project managed anything before, I was prepared to sack my architect because I didn't like the color of her eyes- or better still don't have an architect and work off a drawing on the back of fag packet, do everything without the benefit of planning permission, have constant battles with contractors - who would have to be changed a couple of times & are prepared to say how mad I am, always be maxed out on my credit cards and always just waiting for the bank to release the next packet of money to allow the now halted build (all the contractors standing behind the camera while a fan blows tumble weed across the scene - 'no we will add the tumble weed in the edit') to carry on it would make good telly.

Believe me I am no cynic because I know what entertains me and I guess thats the whole point. So, for me, GD is great not because it tells me how to, or not to, do it, but because it reminds me that people will be people who have to, like I do, live with their decisions but that with determination and an element of risk it is possible to do amazing things that won't always be to other peoples taste or done the way 'I would have done it'.

1 - Brilliant ideas that I may not have discovered otherwise which I may use one day - such as scorched larch cladding and solar panels as a brize soleil.
2 - Inspiring projects that came off - "The Modest House" was one.
3 - To observe what doesn't work, in details and generalities.

I am sure most of us have been asked if we would like to appear on Grand Designs. As you say Mike, most of us would be unlikely to be picked. Our technical discussions about heating systems and insulation are hardly likely to make inspiring TV. It does seem they choose people who have difficult builds, often due to their own bloody mindedness that will make good TV. Everyone involved in my house has been told to keep it simple and straightforward if at all possible.

I like GD -
1. When I see inspiring people truly having their lives changed by the new home.
2. When I see some total plonker going off the rails, it's compelling to watch.

It often makes me feel I am not being ambitious enough and makes me want to push the boundaries a bit more, particularly when it comes to some of the fabulous looks people achieve. On a technical level re the actual build, reading here is more likely to spur me on.

Ours is all male - 'cos we're both male! Sister built her house and was very proactive and involved with her hubby and a close friend built hers and was completely responsible for everything - she eventually took on the full project after she had to sack the contractor. We know another lady who continued her build after her partner died and made a simply brilliant job..plenty of women involved in it going by people I know.