As is happened, I had plucked that much-coveted swathe of rubber-and-raunch straight off the rack at Purple Passion, a cavelike emporium in Chelsea trading in leather-wrapped paddles, harnesses, spiked chokers and demonic masks that might have wandered off the set of “Eyes Wide Shut.”

Eyes Wide Shut? That’s the Times all over.

Then again, once the Times has its eyes wide open, the trend in question is just about shut.