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Enter CHAEREA on the other side of the stage, in haste.

CHAEREAto himself. I'm utterly undone! The girl is nowhere; nor
do I know where I am myself, to have lost sight of her. Where to inquire
for her, where to search for her, whom to ask, which way to turn, I'm at
a loss. I have only this hope; wherever she is, she can not long be
concealed. O what beauteous features! from this moment I banish all
other women from my thoughts; I can not endure these every-day
beauties.

PARMENOapart. Why look, here's the other one. He's saying
something, I don't know what, about love. O unfortunate old man, their
father! This assuredly is a youth, who, if he does begin, you will say
that the other one was mere play and pastime, compared with what the
madness of this one will cause.

CHAEREAto himself, aloud. May all the Gods and Goddesses
confound that old fellow who detained me to-day, and me as well who
stopped for him, and in fact troubled myself a straw about him. But see,
here's Parmeno. Addressing him. Good-morrow to you.

PARMENO
Why are you out of spirits, and why in such a hurry? Whence come
you?

CHAEREA
Now, Parmeno, you may show what sort of a man you are. You know that you
often promised me to this effect: "Chaerea, do you only find some object
to fall in love with; I'll make you sensible of my usefulness in such
matters," when I used to be storing up my father's provisions for you on
the sly in your little room.1

PARMENO
To the point, you simpleton.

CHAEREA
Upon my faith, this is the fact. Now, then, let your promises be made
good, if you please, or if indeed the affair is a deserving one for you
to exert your energies upon. The girl isn't like our girls, whom their
mothers are anxious to have with shoulders kept down, and chests well
girthed,2 that they may be slender. If one is a
little inclined to plumpness, they declare that she's training for a
boxer,3 and stint her food; although their constitutions
are good, by their treatment they make them as slight as bulrushes; and
so for that reason they are admired, forsooth.

PARMENO
What sort of a girl is this one of yours?

CHAEREA
A new style of beauty.

PARMENOironically. Astounding!

CHAEREA
Her complexion genuine,4 her flesh firm and full of
juiciness.5

CHAEREA
Do you make, it your care to obtain her for me either by force, stealth,
or entreaty; so that I only gain her, it matters not how to me.

PARMENO
Well, but to whom does the damsel belong?

CHAEREA
That, i'faith, I don't know.

PARMENO
Whence did she come?

CHAEREA
That, just as much.

PARMENO
Where does she live?

CHAEREA
Nor yet do I know that.

PARMENO
Where did you see her?

CHAEREA
In the street.

PARMENO
How did you come to lose her?

CHAEREA
Why, that's what I was just now fretting myself about; and I do not
believe that there is one individual to whom all good luck is a greater
stranger than to myself. What ill fortune this is! I'm utterly
undone!

PARMENO
What's the matter?

CHAEREA
Do you ask me? Do you know Archidemides, my father's kinsman and
years'-mate?

PARMENO
Why not?

CHAEREA
He, while I was in full pursuit of her, met me.

PARMENO
Unseasonably, upon my faith.

CHAEREA
Aye, unhappily, rather; for other ordinary matters are to be called
"unseasonable," Parmeno. It would be safe for me to make oath that I
have not seen him for fully these six or seven months, until just now,
when I least wanted, and there was the least occasion. Come now! isn't
this like a fatality? What do you say?

PARMENO
Extremely so.

CHAEREA
At once he came running up to me, from a considerable distance,
stooping, palsied, hanging his lip, and wheezing. "Halloo, Chaerea!
halloo!" said he; "I've something to say to you." I stopped. "Do you
know what it is I want with you?" said he. "Say on," said I. "To-morrow
my cause comes on," said he. "What then?" "Be sure and tell your father
to remember and be my advocate7
in the morning." In talking of this, an hour elapsed.8 I inquired if he
wanted any thing else. "That's all," said he. I left him. When I looked
in this direction for the damsel, she had that very instant turned this
way down this street of ours.

PARMENOaside. It's a wonder if he doesn't mean her who has just
now been made a present of to Thais here.

CHAEREA
When I got here, she was nowhere to be seen.

PARMENO
Some attendants, I suppose, were accompanying the girl?

CHAEREA
Yes; a Parasite, and a female servant.

PARMENOapart. It's the very same. To CHAEREA.
It's all over with you; make an end of it; you've said your last.9

CHAEREA
You are thinking about something else.

PARMENO
Indeed I'm thinking of this same matter.

CHAEREA
Pray, tell me, do you know her, or did you see her?

PARMENO
I did see, and I do know her, I am aware to what house she has been
taken.

CHAEREA
What, my dear Parmeno, do you know her, and are you aware where she
is?

PARMENO
She has been brought here pointing to the house of Thais
the Courtesan.10 She has been made a present to her.

CHAEREA
What opulent person is it, to be presenting a gift so precious as
this?

PARMENO
The Captain Thraso, Phaedria's rival.

CHAEREA
An unpleasant business for my brother, it should seem.

PARMENO
Aye, and if you did but know what present he is pitting against this
present, you would say so still more.

PARMENO
I'll do my best, and use all my endeavors; I'll lend you my assistance.
Going. Do you want any thing else with me?

CHAEREA
Where are you going now?

PARMENO
Home; to take those slaves to Thais, as your brother ordered me.

CHAEREA
Oh, lucky Eunuch that! really, to be sent as a present to that house!

PARMENO
Why so?

CHAEREA
Do you ask? He will always see at home a fellow-servant of consummate
beauty, and be conversing with her; he will be in the same house with
her; sometimes he will take his meals with her; sometimes sleep near
her.

PARMENO
What now, if you yourself were to be this fortunate person?

CHAEREA
By what means, Parmeno? Tell me.

PARMENO
Do you assume his dress.

CHAEREA
His dress! Well, what then?

PARMENO
I'll take you there instead of him.

CHAEREAmusing. I hear you.

PARMENO
I'll say that you are he.

CHAEREA
I understand you.

PARMENO
You may enjoy those advantages which you just now said lie would enjoy;
you may take your meals together with her, be in company with her, touch
her, dally with her, and sleep by her side; as not one of these women is
acquainted with you, nor yet knows who you are. Besides, you are of an
age and figure that you may easily pass for a eunuch.

CHAEREA
You speak to the purpose; I never knew better counsel given. Well, let's
go in at once; dress me up, take me away, lead me to her, as fast as you
can.

PARMENO
What do you mean? Really, I was only joking.

CHAEREA
You talk nonsense.

PARMENO
I'm undone! Wretch that I am! what have I done? CHAEREA pushes
him along. Whither are you pushing me? You'll throw me down
presently. I entreat you, be quiet.

CHAEREA
What, is it disgraceful14 to be taken to the house of a Courtesan, and to
return the compliment upon those tormentors who treat us and our
youthful age so scornfully, and who are always tormenting us in every
way;--to dupe them just as we are duped by them? Or is it right and
proper that in preference my father should be wheedled out of his money
by deceitful pretexts? Those who knew of this would blame me; while all
would think the other a meritorious act.

PARMENO
What's to be done in such case? If you are determined to do it, you must
do it: but don't you by-and-by be throwing the blame upon me.

CHAEREA
I shall not do so.

PARMENO
Do you order me, then?

CHAEREA
I order, charge, and command you; I will never disavow my authorizing
you.

PARMENO
Follow me; may the Gods prosper it! They go into the house of
LACHES.

1 In your little
room)--Ver. 310. Though “"cellulam"” seems to
be considered by some to mean "cupboard" or "larder," it is more
probable that it here signifies the little room which was
appropriated to each slave in the family for his own use.

2Shoulders kept down and chests well
girthed: Ovid, in the Art of Love, B. iii., 1. 274,
alludes to the "strophium" or "girth" here referred to: "For high
shoulders, small pads are suitable; and let the girth encircle the
bosom that is too prominent." Becker thinks that the "strophium" was
different from the "fascia" or "stomacher," mentioned in the Remedy of
Love, 1. 338: "Does a swelling bosom cover all her breast, let no
stomacher conceal it." From Martial we learn that the "strophium"
was made of leather.

3Training for a boxer: “"Pugilem."” This means "robust as a boxer," or
"athlete." These persons were naturally considered as the types of
robustness, being dieted for the purpose of increasing their flesh
and muscle.

4Complexion genuine:
"Color verus." The same expression is used by Ovid, in the Art of
Love, B. iii., 1. 164: "Etmeliorveroquaeriturartecolor:" "And by art a color is sought superior to
the genuine one."

5Full of juiciness: “"Succiplenum."” A similar expression occurs in
the Miles Gloriosus of Plautus, 1. 787, where Periplecoimenus wishes
inquiry to be made for a woman who is "siccam, atsuccidam," "sober, but full of juice:" i. e. replete
with the plumpness and activity of youth.

6 The very flower of
youth)--Ver. 319. Ovid makes mention of the "flos" or "bloom" of youth, Art of Love, B. ii., 1.
663: "And don't you inquire what year she is now passing, nor under
what Consulship she was born; a privilege which the rigid Censor
possesses. And this, especially, if she has passed the bloom of
youth, and her best years are fled, and she now pulls out the
whitening hairs."

7 Be my advocate)--Ver.
340. “"Advocatus."” It must be remembered
that this word did not among the Romans bear the same sense as
the-word "advocate" does with us. The "advocati" were the friends of
a man who accompanied him when his cause was pleaded, and often
performed the part of witnesses; those who assisted a person in a
dispute or difficulty were also his "advocati," and in this respect
distantly resembled the "second" or "friend" of a party in the
modern duel. In the Phormio, Hegio, Cratinus, and Crito are
introduced as the "advocati" of Demipho. See also the Paenulus of
Plautus, and the Notes to that Play in Bohn's Translation.

8 An hour elapsed)--Ver. 341. “"Hora"” is here used to signify the long time, that, in
his impatience, it appeared to him to be.

9 It's all over with you,--you've said your last)--Ver.
347. "Ilicet" and "conclamatumest," are words of mournful import,
which were used with regard to the funeral rites of the Romans.
"Ilicet," "you may begone," was said aloud when the funeral was
concluded. "Conclamare," implied the ceremony of calling upon the
dead person by name, before light was set to the funeral pile; on no
answer being given, he was concluded to be really dead, and the pile
was set fire to amid the cries of those present: "conclamatum est"
would consequently signify that all hope has gone.

10 Thais the Courtesan)--Ver. 352. Cooke
remarks here, somewhat hypercritically as it would seem: "Thais is
not called 'meretrix' here opprobriously, but to distinguish her
from other ladies of the same name, who were not of the same
profession."

11A Eunuchl: Eunuchs formed part of the
establishment of wealthy persons, who, in imitation of the Eastern
nobles, confided the charge of their wives, daughters, or mistresses
to them. Though Thais would have no such necessity for his services,
her wish to imitate the "reginae," or "great ladies," would. make
him a not unacceptable present. See the Addresses of Ovid to the
Eunuch Bagous in the Amours, B. ii., El. 2, 3.

12 As she is reported to be)--Ver. 361. Donatus remarks
this as an instance of the art of Terence, in preserving the
probability of Chaerea's being received for the Eunuch. He shows
hereby that he is so entirely a stranger to the family that he does
not even know the person of Thais. It is also added that she has not
been long in the neighborhood, and he lias been on duty at the
Piraeus. The
meaning of his regret is, that, not knowing Thais, he will not have
an opportunity of seeing the girl.

13 Have to pay
the penalty)--Ver. 381. "In me cudetur faba," literally, "the bean
will be struck" or "laid about me;" meaning, "I shall have to smart
for it." There is considerable doubt what is the origin of this
expression, and this doubt existed as early as the time of Donatus.
He says that it was a proverb either taken from the threshing of
beans with a flail by the countrymen; or else from the circumstance
of the cooks who have dressed the beans, but have not moistened them
sufficiently, being sure to have them thrown at their heads, as
though for the purpose of softening them. Neither of these solutions
seems so probable as that suggested by Madame Dacier, that dried
beans were inserted in the thongs of the "scuticae," or "whips,"
with which the slaves were beaten. According to others the knots in
the whips were only called "fabae," from their resemblance to beans.

14 Is it disqraceful)--Ver.
382. Donatus remarks that here Terence obliquely defends the subject
of the Play.

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