Mantenna - Monday, August 2

January Jones apparently needs to eat more,Alicia Keys marries Swizz Beatz, and the NBA is just picking on the city of Cleveland at this point...the Mantenna is too hot to handle and too cold to hold!

Source:John Shearer/Getty Images

January Jones Told to Eat

January Jones is in trouble… for being too skinny. The blonde bombshell, who stars in AMC’s Mad Men, has been ordered by the show’s creator Matthew Weiner to eat and maintain a woman’s curvy figure. According to Jones, “He [Weiner] would prefer we didn’t work out and that we eat really well, so we look like healthy women.” Jones, who loves “beer and carbs” is proud to be a part of a show where “it’s okay to have curves and be a woman.” Jones apparently has to work hard for her curves and this is actually the second time Jones has been told off for being too skinny. Last year she told OK magazine, “I got told a couple of days ago that I look too skinny, and I was in trouble. I'm naturally pretty thin, so I'm trying. I eat whatever is at craft services. I'm a big eater. I'm from South Dakota, so meat, potatoes, carbs.” [Huffington Post]

Lauren Conrad’s a Fashion Designer Again

Reality television starlet Lauren Conrad has decided to try her hand at being a fashion designer again. The Hills star famously abandoned her first signature clothing line last year before it even hit boutiques. Conrad then blamed the financial crisis, its toll on the economy, and consumer spending. Now, like a phoenix rising, Conrad is back. The 24-year-old, who already has a line of every day casual wear through retailer Kohl's, is excited to create her very own collection. The line, which will be called the Lauren Conrad collection, will be aimed “contemporary women” and “will be more specialty basics, more of a boutique line.” Yeah, we'll believe it when it actually hits stores. [Style News]

Cosmo Launches "Man Summit"

Taking a break from teaching women the "Top 10 Tips to Drive Your Man WILD in the Sack," the ladies at Cosmo have turned their attention to the "less fairer" sex with their "Man Summit." That's right, they've put together a questionnaire to find out what motivates dudes to be the most awesome dudes they can be. So please do yourself (and womankind) a favor by heading over there to tell them the truth about your outlook on life. They can handle it. Maybe. [Cosmo]

Alicia Keys Marries Swizz Beatz

Photo:Jerritt Clark/Getty Images

Over the weekend, Alicia Keys married her long-time boyfriend, rapper/producer Swizz Beatz. Us Weekly is reporting that Keys, who’s pregnant with her first little bundle of joy with the producer, and Beatz exchanged vows in a small ceremony in a private home on the Mediterranean Sea. The couple has been together since 2008. Another one bites the dust, y’all. [BBC]

Kids with Attitude

Who doesn't love little kids? Sure, they poop all over the place, whine at the drop of a hat, and demand attention pretty much nonstop, but they're cute, right? Right? Well, any doubts you may have had about the awesomeness of humankind's tiniest members are instantly debunked by this hilarious image gallery from the weirdos over at CollegeHumor. We only wish we had learned how to flip the bird before we could walk. [CollegeHumor]

NBA is Just Picking on the City of Cleveland at this Point

You know the expression “out of sight, out of mind”? Well, that’s going to be tough for Cleveland Cavaliers fans to do when the Miami Heat and their top sidekick, LeBron James, come to town to open the NBA season. According to a local source, “the Miami Heat will open the season at The Q against the Cleveland Cavaliers.” The game should be an excellent opportunity for the NBA to market what a massive dick LeBron James is while showing just how depressing the sports landscape in Cleveland has become. The NBA… FAAAAAAN-TASTIC! [Cleveland]

Canadians Don’t Seem to Understand Baseball, Also Struggle with Chemistry

A Southern Alberta baseball field was covered in mud, rain, and other non-athletic friendly substances after a mild shower in St. Albert. So, obviously Canadian groundskeepers thought the best way to solve the problem was to set the field on fire in order to dry it. "Gerry Peterson said his ground crew spread diesel fuel on the ball field in St. Albert, Alberta, and ignited it," a local paper reported. "What usually takes a day, day and a half for Mother Nature to take care of, we did in half an hour," he said before being shut down by environmental watch groups. [UPI]