READER OF THE MONTH: What if money was no object?

Hey there, here’s another great story from the Zen Pencils community. I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I do. – Gav
My name is Jess, I’m 34 and from the UK. I knew from a very young age that I would not be one of those people who hated their job. I knew that there was more to life than careers and pensions. Life is for living and having fun, jobs are secondary … or thirdly or fourthly.

While my friends were puzzling over which universities to go to I was deciding which country to travel to first. In my mind I figured I’d travel for a few years and thought nothing more of it. Surfing and photography are my passions and I surfed and sailed myself around the world … for the next 16 years. I never stayed in one place for more than a few months, met wonderful people, experienced many different cultures from India to Antarctica, the Caribbean to Sweden and everything in between. 52 countries and 50 thousand ocean sailing miles later and I found myself back home in the UK listening to people say “When are you going to get a real job? When are you going to settle down? What are you running away from?”. After awhile these people started to get to me and the seeds of doubt began to grow. “Maybe they’re right”, I thought. “I should get a proper job. What on earth is a proper job anyway?”

So I started reading books looking for answers to my conflicting feelings. I dabbled in Tibetan Buddhism, Zen Buddhism, the Tao Te Ching, Christianity, psychology and psychotherapy. I read every self-help book under the sun from Tim Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle and Ram Das. I even started meditating (which was one of my better discoveries and something I still practice today). Even though the books were filled with wisdom, they mostly filled my head with other peoples ideas which created more questions and just conflicted with my inner voice.
However, every now and then I stumble upon something very useful. Simple reminders that if we shut out all the noise we will be able to hear what our inner voice is telling us, and more importantly that our own inner voice is the only thing we need to listen to. One of those reminders was the Alan Watts comic What If Money Was No Object?that I found on Zen Pencils. After reading it, I decided to write down the things I loved most, without taking money into consideration: art, music, surfing, camping, playing in nature and living an outdoor life. Then I had a huge realisation. I ALREADY HAD IT! I had my head so deeply in too many self-help books that I had forgotten the very things my heart called out for. I couldn’t even see that I already had everything I want. It’s only us who knows what’s best for us. What might be best for one person is not best for another and it’s nobody’s job to tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing.

Currently I’m doing art and photography projects and deciding where to go next. I’m not employed at the moment but something will come up, it always does when I trust that it will. My plan for the future is to continue having no plan and to be open to the flow of life and the opportunities it brings. I have no idea where I’ll go or what I’ll do. Whatever it is I know it will be what I want in that moment.

So great hearing others chasing what makes them happy regardless of all the noise!
iv spent my whole life with no idea what to do with it getting confused and muddled by all the things other people thought i should be doing because i “was so good at them and had such a natural talent” it wasnt until getting retrenched that i finally realised i was only really happy outside playing with dogs! i had never even considered making a career from it cause hey whos gonna pay me to play with dogs all day right! 🙂 but 2 years later and im now a qualified companion animal behaviorist and starting up my own business on my way to achieving my shiny new dream of my own behavior and rehab center!! (having a dream by the way is very new and scary for me! 😀 but such amazing fun!) Its amazing what can happen when you follow your heart, got a feeling Jess’ story in 3/4 years time is going to be even more amazing that it already is so far!! 😀 cant wait to hear it! 😀

Sebastian, that is so cool. Following your heart leads you to what you can do for this world and makes you happy at the same time. Well done! And good for you for following your dream even though you’re scared. Courage is doing what you need to do even though you are scared shitless.

Great story Jess and thanks for sharing with us. You’re so right…listening to your inner voice is such a crucial component to finding sustainable happiness and success. Thanks for being such an inspiration to all of us.

Okay, there are some good things here. Meditation is good. Personal choice is good. Not blindly following what others tell you to do in life is also good.

So is not blindly swallowing the commonly held beliefs of your generation–or your century.

So there are some things to question here. For one, if you look at the human species and how we evolved as well as how we each develop from conception, it is clear that everything we are is a combination of the “inner” and the “outer.” We cannot be whole without the input of the “outer.” The social is essential to the development of primates, and it is the reason the human primate is the way it is. An infant rhesus macaque won’t develop into a whole, adult version of a monkey if reared by a cloth mother/wire mother combo, absent a rhesus macaque mother and the sociality of the monkey troop. All our mental processes, indeed all our developmental processes, are epigenetic (a combination of givens and environmental stimuli/feedback).

Thus, it is far from objectively true that “our own inner voice is the only thing we need to listen to.” This is not a true statement from an evolutionary or individual developmental perspective. From a philosophical perspective, this worldview is ultimately a version of solipsism.

And yes, this woman’s story is remarkable. However, it is also a story emerging out of privilege. Most of the world’s people cannot take time off to wander, because they must deal with basic needs. For most, there is no space nor time to consider anything but the next day, the next hours, the next few days. It all sounds wonderful–but where is the money coming from to be able to take the time, unemployed, to wait for “something will come up . . . it always does”?

Money must indeed “be no object.” And in this case, it is privilege, not philosophy.

I must agree with Candice Bradley, Ph.D. here. I, too, believe that “Jess” has a fulfilling life, but to be able to actually do this – just leave and sail the world for months on end is not cheap. Not everybody will be charitable to her cause and thus give her a “free ride”. Privilege is what came to mind secondly after admiring her journeys. Like Candice states – many people around the world cannot even know where there next meal is coming from tomorrow, yet, there are some in this world that don’t have to worry about that.

Hi Candice,
Thank you for your comments, I appreciate what you’re saying. I have added a bit to my story further down in the comments to add context because a few people also came to the same conclusion but it’s slightly ill informed. Feel free to comment on it.

My comment about the only thing we need to listen to being our inner voice was a bit over simplistic so I can see how you would think of it as solipsist. But it’s not. I was referring to intuition which is informed by external factors. The difference being that one would use intuition to decide what external factors to listen to and which to ignore, not that no external factors have any value at all.

I use the word “solipsism” after having listened for decades to the philosophical pronouncements of so many contemporary thinkers admired by my peers, among these of course the ones you mentioned (although I would generally not include the well-reasoned Alan Watts in this set). Some might call these philosophies “New Age,” or if academic, postmodern, or a range of other names.

These philosophies are ultimately solipsistic because of where one ends up after following their conclusions out to their logical end. For example, let’s take that optical illusion/picture of the young woman/old woman so often used to demonstrate that everyone has a different perspective . . . the same idea as standing in different areas of a room and acknowledging that in each position one sees an entirely different picture of the room. The other side of this demonstration–let’s say when the other shoe drops–is total relativism: Not only do we each see the world differently, but each of our views is to be acknowledged as totally valid–to us.

This is a very common set of premises or beliefs nowadays about the way the world is. In contrast is the basic premise of science, which is that there is something measurable “out there,” outside of ourselves, and by using the scientific method, which takes us at least a step or two away from our own feelings (or intuitions) so we might be able to measure that thing out there, and indeed, replicate it. Replicating it means that not only can I measure it more than once myself, but that somebody else can come along and repeat my study in the same way (or in a new way) and get essentially the same results. This worldview assumes that our own intuitions have a tendency to get in the way of being able to see what’s real (because that’s the nature of the human mind–to see the lion in the grass when there is none there). The New Age or postmodern worldview, on the other hand, can ultimately depend on nothing being “out there” because there is nothing but my own perspective. Carried to its logical end, in the absence of a reality that we can agree on together, the philosophy is nothing but solipsism. It can assume that nothing exists but itself. No other assumptions can be made.

Korzybski — “The map is not the territory and the name is not the thing named.” But, he argued, we can draw better maps, and some maps are better guides to the territory than others. This assumes, however, an objective territory to map, and it assumes an imperfect mapper.

Jess, I give you All my congratulationes. You finally confirm you are on your way. You were open to hear society enviroment. You filled You were wrong, but You worked on that, You studied about human options. My son 22 years old suggested me Zens Pencils web side. I am 50 years old I had to study Public Accountant becouse my parents, but because of them Also I studied Classic piano. I fill frustated because my job I do not do I really I want, to play
And Teach Classic piano. A lot of thanks You share your story . It was very useful for me. I have read many self-help books and I still have a soul desease, but I still have hope.

Brilliant, Jess. Very inspiring! Start blogging about your adventures, with pictures, and I bet you’ll amass a loyal following. The blog could also get you revenue from online ads. Your experience and advice will help thousands who want to indulge in similar experiences. Sail on!

Hi Robin,
Thanks for your comment, it’s always good to provoke thought!
but in answer to your question: No. it’s not just simply a matter of hopping on my yacht and running away.
I don’t have a yacht. and I don’t have anything to run away from. I have added to the story in the comments further down to add context to the initial post, I hope you read it and re-evalute how you feel about it. The last thing I want to do is inflame people who are already a bit disillusioned.
Thanks for reading.
Jess

Like others said, it appears that for Jess money was *already* no object and she just needed to find out what she wanted to do with her life. Fair enough, I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve it, just that her case isn’t typical. To quote Deep Space Nine, it’s easy to be a saint in paradise — in this case, “paradise” being rich parents.

I read this story and felt a bit ……. about it. It’s far easier to cast aside inconveniences like having a job when you come from a place of great privilege to start with, which I can almost guarantee that the person in the story did. Sailing is not a hobby afforded to the working class in the UK, for a start!
I enjoyed the original comic and its message a great deal. But for me the message was about turning your passion into your sources of income not going on a 16 middle class gap year and wondering blithely why all those silly worker bees don’t do the same. To put things into perspective a little I am a single mother (father completely absent and has been since my son was a young baby) whose financial position, despite ALWAYS working is such that if I was unemployed for more than 3 weeks we would be in a lot of bother. Unable to pay the rent sort of bother. I certainly couldn’t just “trust that it will happen”! I have to fight, constantly to ensure that my child is provided for. I am more representative of the general population.
We are in a time of financial crisis where even in the UK, supposedly one of the richest countries in the world, 900000 people last year had to turn to food banks to survive. The lady in the story, although no doubt a nice and very interesting person, does not represent what most people have to deal with and in a way, her story is a bit like reading Tatler or OK magazines and finding out how the other half live.

Hi Eleanor,
Thanks for your comments. And no offense taken.
You did however make a few wrong assumptions. I was crew on yachts, I worked very hard and put my life at risk. But only because I chose it. It’s important to remember that wherever we find ourselves in life is a result of decisions we ourselves have made. Nobody else is responsible for putting us where we find ourselves.

I have added to the story in the comments below because many others assumed also that I come from money and ‘great privilege’. Please feel free to comment

I believe we all need to undertake a journey of ‘self discovery’. Many a time this journey is brocken up into seriese at every stage of your life. And Some times this journey may prove to last a lifetime and other times it may take only afew seconds. But this journey is a part of us and helps us live life the way were designed to. Without knowing who you are, the challenges you face in life feel like imovable walls rather than stepping stones.
I am proud of you Jess, you know who you are and are living life, striving to be the best you can be.

I concurr with Eleanor’s comments. I found the article inspiring at first, but only until I realized it was describing a life only a few can enjoy. I’m happy for Jess and hope she can keep enjoying the world. The reality for many others is quite different, the age to decide what do you want to do with your life to generate the income to sustain yourself is usually when you end the secondary school and either go to a university or start working.

WOW!
I’m very flattered that my little piece has evoked such passion. The highest compliment, I believe a person can receive, is to have inspired another. So I’m grateful that I have inspired, it makes everything worth while.

I would also like to address the less positive comments. I didn’t get a chance in the post to explain so I’ll take the opportunity to do it here. I hope it informs of my choices and adds perspective. It seems the people who have the dimmest view of my life are the ones assuming I come from a privileged background: meaning financial wealth and I can see how you would come to that conclusion. It’s absolutely true that I come from a privileged background by virtue of the fact that we had a roof over our heads and food to eat and parents who gave me freedom to be me. Also it is a privilege to be born in the UK, to receive a good education from a state school, access to health care and to hold a UK passport for which I am extremely grateful.
However: My dad worked all hours as a builder to buy a falling down house which he then spent his after work time and weekends fixing up so that we had somewhere to live, which meant I didn’t get to see him much (and also led to the breakdown of mum and dads relationship which eventually resulted in divorce). Mum took odd jobs as a waitress or whatever she could find whenever she could afford a baby sitter. We had very little extra money for toys and things and ALL of my clothes were patched up hand-me-downs from my big brother. My parents couldn’t afford to send me on the school exchange trips that everybody else went on. But I never felt the lack of anything, we had everything we needed, we were happy enough, it was just life! So I grew up witnessing my parents struggle financially but still find a way to be content with life.
Dad always told me that I could do anything I wanted to in life, that we work to live not live to work and that if a few basic needs were met then you’re free to make of life what you will. I was not given a message of fear. So I didn’t make decisions based in fear. My only fear was to not follow my dreams.
Having had a terrible accident when I was 18 in which I nearly died I realized that life is too precious to be squandered and that I had been given a second chance. I wanted to get out there into the world and experience life in other countries, to surf and swim in warm clear water and to dive to the depths of the ocean!
As soon as I was able I took a job in a factory working 12 hour shifts because it paid double the rate of shop jobs etc. When I had saved up enough money from working crazy hours I booked a flight to New Zealand, where after traveling around for a bit I took a job working for a scuba diving charter company. I was 19. It was there that I made friends with some sailors who were professional underwater photographers and they invited me to sail with them as a crew member and photography model from New Zealand to Fiji. This gave me sailing experience so that when we arrived in Fiji I was able to accept a position on an expedition yacht as paid crew. And this was the beginning of it.
I didn’t just waltz around the world on yachts as a ‘privileged middle class hippie’ with nothing better to do, I worked, and I worked very hard too. I didn’t have much money but I always trusted that things would not only be ok, things would be amazing and I was not disappointed. I studied for my captains license and was able to take jobs that paid more as my experience increased. I decided not to invest my money in material things like houses and cars instead I would take big chunks of time off in between jobs and just go and travel and surf and experience life, looking for my next boat job when my money had run out. Meeting wonderful people along the way and making lifelong relationships. I made the choice not to be tied down by ‘thing’s’, not to place value in the material but to use my funds to further my dreams. I chose not to have responsibilities like a mortgage, I chose not to get pregnant, I chose to express my freedom to roam unencumbered by restraints.
This is not dumb luck, or a coincidence. It didn’t just ‘happen’ to me. I asked for it, I designed my life this way. And I have no regrets.
Believing is seeing.
My greatest privilege in life was to be born into a family who didn’t mock my dreams of world travel, they encouraged it. To be told that i could do anything I wanted was all I needed to hear. There was no fear and no doubt. This meant I was able to put myself in situations and take advantage of opportunities that came my way and to give myself over fully to the flow of life and wherever it would take me, not having too much expectation other than that everything would work out fine. Ultimately it was a choice. I chose from a young age to be happy and not to compromise that at any cost, so I did what it was that made me happy, I followed my dreams.

Yes I do feel that I am extremely privileged to have been born into my circumstances which could be viewed as luck, but I believe that we choose that too! and I express my gratitude daily through my love for life.

(wow my very first comment here!) Hi Jess!
I’m guilty of having thought of you as a priviledged one, and oh boy was I wrong.
Reading your detailed comment, I realized how narrow my thinking was. Thank you for taking the time to explain, and thank you for sharing your point of view. The word that struck the most from reading your comment was “choice”. Indeed, you made several important choices, and everyone should respect that. Thank you again!!

Jess, your added comments changed my view of your article, you should consider including these kind of notes in your next article to give your readers an insight about yourself. I’ll keep your article and comments in mind to address life in a different way in my next life 🙂
Kind regards.

I am curious though where do you think you would have been if the sailing trip never occurred from New Zealand to Fiji? Or if you never got the job to join the expedition yacht crew, what would you have done? Try to remember all your options to you then, were you thinking ahead of what’s your next move as you arrived in Fiji?

I ask these kinds of questions to really understand how incredible timing is for the opportunities we take advantage of when presented. However I have the fear of not receiving those very same opportunities if I traveled in a manner like you did. Part of my reservation is due to the financial debt obligations I hold in the U.S right now and other being unable to accumulate the capital to start off the voyage!

Finally, you have forgotten to share where you lived when you arrived in New Zealand. Then as you slowed down to stay in certain locations for months at a time, where did you live and how did you live? Cook at home type, eating out but at cheap shops? Exactly what daily decisions, similar to the ones people who live more like your parents, were you preoccupied with and how did you resolve them? What consequences resulted?

Jess, what I get from your added comments is that what you get in life is very much about your attitude and what you believe. I am finally coming to understand that at the age of 60!

I think your parents gave you a tremendous gift of telling you could do what you wanted to in life, and not teaching you to be afraid.

I am currently reading a book by Gary Zukav (and I hardly read any self-help books these days) that says we can make decisions in our lives either from wisdom or from fear and doubt, the very things you say your parents didn’t give you!

Jess – Quite sad to see all the folks automatically assume that you came from a place of wealth and only that allowed you to live the life you dreamed. Even sadder that they felt it necessary to dump such a truck load of negativity on you before actually knowing the facts. It is pretty typical of the folks who are not happy in their own life to 1) blame others for their own lack of happiness or 2) assume that others are happy only because of the wealth they have. The fact that these folks have such a negative default logic setting says a lot about them personally. They should try going through life making positive assumptions about strangers and they may start to get a very little bit of Jess’s happiness in their own unhappy lives.

Jess, it’s good that you were able to design your life this way and to overcome the hardships that you encountered. When people talk about “privilege,” however, the assumption is not about starting out as a rich kid. It’s about the givens that come to you as a member of a society where “choice” is an option, where girls can pursue their dreams, where there are jobs to be had even working a 12 hour shift. The world of privilege is one where medical care is available, and one where “being able to accept a position on an expedition yacht” is not entirely of one’s own doing, but also partially an artifact of what you come with–your nationality, the color of your skin, all that is available to you as an artifact of your birth, to have had a family that supports your dreams, and consequently to have the grit to follow things through. This is what is misunderstood about privilege and why so many of us don’t understand that we’ve actually got it in spades. To understand your own privilege, imagine whether any of the choices you make would ever have been available to a young woman in a village in Western Kenya. How much of this “choice” was really your own, and how much was the ability to make that choice in fact the real gift???

Nevertheless, it appears that you have dismissed some comments which referred specifically to money and having to work to have it.

I beleive Jess responded to this whilst clarifying she was also “privileged” having much more than this – being born in the UK and what comes with it, family support…

From this perspective, many share similar circumstances and may consider Jess’ story as inspiring. I do.

Jess,

Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

I am learning these things later on in life. I decided to travel and experience life other than the 8 to 12 working hours routine.

Interestingly my former colleagues told me I was lucky not considering they could make similar choices. I am grateful to have met people who inspired me and made this possible. For those who wonder, I met many people who chose their job to meet their dream. I am now looking for a job in the sun, close to the beach where I could go surfing.

Thank you for including wrestling in so many sports. I do wish you’d stop conflating pro-wrestling entertainment with the sport wrestling.

Very few wrestlers look up to pro-wrestlers and most female wrestlers come from gymnastics and acrobatics as the skill set is more overlapping.

A more apt comparison might be one of a female wrestler who grows up to become an MMA fighter. These women REALLY exist and are some pretty amazing competitors.

The pro-kind of wrestlers are still amazing and the choreographies and ability to stay in character 24-7 is nothing short of herculean. It’s just that most actual wrestlers are sick of being mistaken for the other kind and having people ask us if it’s “real” all of the time.

Jess, you are so kind and loving in response to your detractors. I never felt that you had more material advantages than anyone else, but what you do have is more COURAGE than many of us. Your courage is something you worked at. We can all choose to do that. Thanks for sharing your story.

Thank you Rachel, that’s very sweet.
It’s funny but I think we’re actually born with courage…. children are usually fearless. It’s just often beaten out of us as we grow up and the journey becomes, as you say should you choose it, to rediscover that courage that was there all along.
Thanks for reading

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