If you’ll be in the largest Jewish community north of the border on Monday, May 4, I hope you’ll join me for a conversation entitled, “Intermarriage: Optimism and Opportunity,” which is open to the entire community. The program is sponsored by our friends at Oraynu Congregation for Humanistic Judaism, and will take place at 7:30 pm at the University of Toronto Multifaith Centre in Koffler House, 569 Spadina Avenue, Toronto. You can learn more and register here.

Introduction by: Michele Landsberg, journalist, author, social justice activist, Officer of the Order of Canada

Event description: Join Paul Golin in an interactive presentation that challenges the standard Jewish communal narrative on intermarriage and instead presents an optimistic and inclusive vision for the future of Jewish families and Jewish life. Today, almost every Jew in the US and Canada is personally touched by intermarriage within their immediate families. Let’s discuss not just the challenges this represents, but also the many opportunities inherent in a more diverse and welcoming community. Paul Golin has worked on the issues of engagement and inclusion for nearly two decades and will provide a side of the story, backed by current statistics, that’s rarely discussed.

After fifteen years on Greeley Square in Manhattan, we are packing our offices and moving six blocks up Avenue of Americas — not far geographically, but a world away in terms of comfortable and usable office space. We are also about to unveil a new website and organizational name, so stay tuned! This is all a logical extension of JOI’s growth, and couldn’t have happened without the enthusiast support of our board of directors and other generous donors who believe in our work and mission. We thank them and are thrilled to embark on this next phase in our organization’s history!

As of Friday, March 27, 2015, our new address is:

1040 Avenue of the Americas, Suite 9A
New York, NY 10018

Our phone number remains (212) 760-1440. We apologize if on the day before or after the move our lines are down; thanks for your understanding! Once we’re up and running we look forward to seeing you in our new space next door to Bryant Park.

Big Tent Judaism (formerly known as the Jewish Outreach Institute), is taking another big step forward in opening the tent of the North American Jewish community by establishing a Big Tent Judaism Concierge for Sonoma County, CA. The Big Tent Judaism Concierge will serve as a bridge into the Sonoma County Jewish community, opening the tent to all who may wish to enter, and partnering with Jewish communal organizations to better find and serve people where they are.

An Advisory Committee made up of local communal professionals and lay leaders is currently being formed, and in the coming weeks we will reach out to all Jewish communal organizations. The committee will provide local oversight and guidance for the project and will work closely with the Concierge and Big Tent Judaism’s senior staff.

Big Tent Judaism’s Concierge, meanwhile, will “become the pivotal person to meet with newcomers and guide them into the community,” said Big Tent Judaism’s Executive Director, Rabbi Kerry Olitzky. “The biggest issue facing the North American Jewish community is engagement. We’ve found that those inside the Jewish community feel that it’s warm and welcoming. Those outside find it cold and prickly — and that gap is widening.”

In addition to working with the Advisory Committee and partnering institutions, the Big Tent Judaism Concierge will work directly with individuals in the community to guide them on their Jewish journeys, ensuring that they are led to the programs and services that fits their interests and needs, and that local institutions are trained in effective outreach techniques to best welcome them in. (If this sounds like a position for you and you live in the community, please find the full job description here.)

Sonoma County is the fourth community in which Big Tent Judaism has placed a trained professional on the ground. Over the last two years Big Tent Judaism has hired and continues to support Concierges in Chicago, Houston and Central New Jersey. As part of their national growth strategy, Big Tent Judaism will be placing several more Concierges on the ground in various cities over the next year.

The goal of Big Tent Judaism is to engage, support, and advocate for all those who wish to be a part of the Jewish community. By working community by community, Big Tent Judaism can help Jewish communal professionals and the institutions they represent better reach and engage those who are not currently participating in organized Jewish life.

In 2014, over 25,000 individuals participated in Big Tent Judaism/Jewish Outreach Institute programs such as Passover in the Matzah Aisle, Hands-On Hanukkah, and other “Public Space Judaism” programs that take a taste of Jewish life outside the walls of Jewish institutions to go where people are.

In his monthly message to Temple Beth Torah in Houston Texas, Rabbi Dan Gordon wrote eloquently about the synagogue’s experience partnering with us here at Big Tent Judaism to further open his congregational tent to all who may benefit. Rabbi Gordon writes:

TBT already has a reputation for being welcoming and inclusive; but only from those who have experienced the temple. We’ve always believed that there are more Jewish people northeast of Houston who haven’t taken advantage of the opportunity. Big Tent has encouraged us to look for ways to introduce the temple to interested people without waiting for them to come to us. Our experimenting started with public story telling for Hanukkah and Passover in local libraries. These programs helped teach children and their parents about the Jewish holidays, and were attended by a blend of Jewish and non-Jewish participants…

Rabbi Gordon goes on to describe a public menorah lighting that attracted four times the number of participants he anticipated, including individuals who said, “I’ve been meaning to check out the temple for a long time…” and “I didn’t know there was a temple around here!”

Our collaboration with Rabbi Gordon and the entire Houston Jewish community through our partnership with the Jewish Federation of Greater Houston has been powerful confirmation that going out to where people are to share what we love about Jewish life is an essential communal goal, and it works. Rabbi Gordon’s full monthly message is here. If you’re in Houston, please follow the Big Tent Judaism Houston Facebook page.

The portion Shemot introduces an entire book of the Torah, which goes by the same name. Most readers will simply translate the title as “names” since that is the first significant word or concept introduced. And that is the tradition for naming the books, as well as the individual Torah portions. But if we are looking for guidance from the text, insights for our own spiritual journey, then the names of individual Torah portions and the names of the books of the Torah can provide us with more than basic information. Rather, they can also offer us direction. Thus, instead of identifying this portion as “names,” perhaps it would be better to call it “reputation” since the Hebrew word shem can also be translated this way. The Torah, by calling this portion, this entire book, “Reputations”—the book dedicated to the transformation of a band of inchoate tribes into a people—is teaching us an important lesson. The name by which we are called, the reputation that we have earned in the community, is core to our character, essential to who we are and the legacy that we leave for others. The book of Exodus thus instructs us that the formative moments in the development of the Israelites as a people included the development of its character, a process that we as individuals are directed to emulate. In other words, what we do is who we are.

It is thus fitting that this portion marks the yahrzeit of Edgar Bronfman, the first anniversary following his passing from this world. As Edgar was fond of reminding people, his obligation in life—the obligation of each individual—is to leave the world in a better place when leaving it than how one found it when one was born. This is more than a lofty statement. It demands action. It requires the application of the resources granted to any person, both of monetary and mental means, however small or large they may be, to the task. This important notion isn’t just a teaching from the Torah. It emerges from our encounter with the Torah as part of our spiritual memory, from the time period in Jewish history marked by this Torah portion, as well as those that follow throughout the book of Exodus. Thus, our obligation is to constantly stimulate our memory of this notion, what we learned during our period of servitude in the desert, as well as our journey toward freedom. While this memory is deeply embedded in the Jewish soul of the individual, it is sometimes lost in the “noise”—or interference—coming from contemporary life and its various seductions. It is only when we work at it that the memory becomes alive once again in our own lives.

The Rabbis teach us that when we teach something to others that we learned from someone else, we should do it b’shem amro, in that person’s name. Moreover, we should imagine that teacher standing in front of us, as we teach what we have learned to others. Doing so, say the Rabbis, brings us closer to mashiach-zeit (the messianic era). While we are grateful to the Samuel Bronfman Foundation, which Edgar founded and nurtured throughout his life—and is now led by his son Adam—for the support it provided to Big Tent Judaism/Jewish Outreach Institute for many years, we are even more grateful for the often unpopular positions Edgar championed as a result. He was unafraid of bucking the status quo and used his position in the Jewish community to help us move our mission forward—to build a more inclusive Jewish community, which he also enthusiastically learned to call Big Tent Judaism.

What other messages are contained in this portion? What else contributed to the “reputation” garnered by the ancient Israelites and bequeathed to us? Among the gifts of the Jewish people to the world, as celebrated in the story of Exodus, which begins in this portion, is the idea of “hope.” According to the Rabbis of the Jerusalem Talmud, where there is life, there is hope. Even in the midst of darkness, when Joseph’s success in Egypt devolved into 400 years of slavery, our ancient brothers and sisters saw the possibility of freedom. This optimism kept them alive. This hopefulness is the best example of the contemporary notion of Judaism operating in the marketplace of ideas, as countless others have taken on this message and called it their own. The Jewish people gained the reputation as a people of hope, so much so that the modern state of Israel took on “Hatikvah—the hope” as its national anthem, the epitome of its national aspirations for itself and for the world in its entirety. The Jewish people became the ever-advancing advance team, working to move the individual and the world toward ultimate redemption, the messianic era.

Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky is the executive director of Big Tent Judaism/Jewish Outreach Institute and author of many books, including the upcoming Membership & Financial Alternatives for the American Synagogue: From Traditional Dues to Fair Share to Gifts from the Heart (with Rabbi Avi Olitzky, Jewish Lights).

Hanukkah Helper is a fun and interactive single-session class that will prepare mothers of other backgrounds (and family members who may be interested) for celebrating Hanukkah in an enjoyable, meaningful way with their Jewish children. Join a free Hanukkah Helper prep class in your community:

We are very lucky at Big Tent Judaism/Jewish Outreach Institute (JOI) to have thousands of partners, supporters and friends who support our mission of creating a more welcoming and inclusive North American Jewish community. In 2014, 107 communal professionals participated in Big Tent Judaism Professional Affiliates, a rigorous outreach training program and network that now includes over 230 members; 89 volunteer lay leaders enrolled as Big Tent Judaism Ambassadors, joining an elite network of over 200 advocates for greater inclusion and outreach; and together with our three community-based Big Tent Judaism Concierges, we reached 35,954 individuals across North America to share with them the benefits of involvement in the organized Jewish community’s programs and events.

As we enter the final month of the secular calendar year and also the end of our fiscal year, we are reminded of just how far we’ve come thanks to the generosity of our donors and how much more we could do, if given additional financial resources. We are on target to complete our re-branding process by February 2015. In addition to a new name, logo and website, this transition reflects our deepening commitment to working directly with end users. By the end of 2015 we hope to double the number of communities served by our Big Tent Judaism Initiative, which places “boots on the ground” in communities across North America to find and serve Jews and their families regardless of affiliation or current connection to a synagogue or other Jewish organization.

If you haven’t noticed, the landscape of the North American Jewish community is changing. In many Jewish communities and institutions the flaps or our proverbial tent are being opened wider than ever before. In many places (though certainly not everywhere) there are many who are active participants, even leaders in the Jewish community who, under strict Jewish law or halacha, would not be considered Jewish. They are the partners and spouses of Jews, they are the children of intermarriage (who, if their mother is not Jewish, are not considered Jewish according to halacha), and they are spiritual seekers who have found a home in the Jewish community even as they made the choice not to convert formally. We see these changes in our work every day; we have been advocating, programming, and training the Jewish community to open its tent for the past quarter century.

Still, these changes have not taken their due place on the forefront of our communal conversation. This is why I was happy to read a recent article in Ha’aretz which discusses the finding that an increasing number of people of other religious and cultural backgrounds are active members in Jewish synagogues. According to Yaakov Ariel, a professor of religious studies at the University of North Carolina, “Sometimes as many as half the people in a synagogue are either non-Jews or married to non-Jews, or have a close non-Jewish relative.” There are several points in this article that I find especially noteworthy.

Sometimes, being innovative simply means realizing the potential of what is already there. This is why, when we thought this year about what would be the best way to reach unaffiliated Jewish families before the High Holidays, we thought about tashlikh, the ritual of throwing breadcrumbs into a body of water to symbolically cast away our sins, regrets, or bad choices from the past year as we prepare for the year to come.

For those familiar with the Big Tent Judaism philosophy of lowering barriers to engagement, this choice may seem odd. Why would anyone who otherwise was not planning to attend religious services on the High Holidays choose to attend a relatively marginal ritual with a name you can hardly pronounce? But two facts, we thought, make tashlikh uniquely appropriate for outreach. First, unlike most other religious Jewish rituals, this one takes place outside of the building. The congregation effectively relocates itself to a public location – typically a park with a pond, a brook, or a lake shore. And this public space, outside of synagogues and other Jewish institutions, is where most Jewish families are. Second, we thought, the act of letting go of the unsavory parts of our recent past, the act of forgiving ourselves and others – these acts can appeal to a broader audience, including people who are not prone to appreciate religious prayer. The relatively short tashlikh service can serve for many to encapsulate the entire High Holiday experience. Tashlikh, when transformed into Open Tashlikh, can serve as an entry point into deeper engagement with the organized Jewish community.

Will it work? We were eager to find out, so we set up a few resources and began to spread the word. In July 2014, Big Tent Judaism’s executive director Rabbi Kerry Olitzky published an article in eJewishPhilathropy.com, presenting the basic premise of the program – that the already-existing tashlikh programs have an untapped outreach potential, which could be maximized with the assistance of Big Tent Judaism resources. Following the publication of the article, 28 institutions expressed interest in using JOI materials at their already-planned tashlikh services.

How important is it to make yourself understood, and do you think you’re really being understood by people around you? This question turned me upside-down, literally, during my yoga class as I, and the entire group except one woman, transitioned from a downward dog position and lowered our knees to the mat.

“Put your knees down,” repeated Ann, our instructor, in her kind manner, and then she said it again, almost pleading this time.

We all turned our eyes towards the young, bashful Asian woman who clearly had failed to grasp the concept, and was now feeling very embarrassed as she stammered in a low voice, “I’m sorry, it’s my English.”

The calendar is a wonderful instrument that brings familiarity through repetition. Fall represents back to school time for some, a change in season for others, and for many of us, September and October bring a string of Jewish holidays.

Though the holidays themselves remain relatively uniform every year, life circumstances shift and so do the feelings associated with, and experienced during, holidays. Families shrink, and grow, and then shrink again. I have experienced this when members of my family go off to college, get married, have children, and move away.

A popular mystical teaching explains the uniqueness of the period leading up to the High Holidays with the following metaphor: During the majority of the year, the king sits in his palace and those who wish to meet him must travel all the way to the capitol city, negotiate through many layers of bureaucracy, and then navigate through the many antechambers in the palace, just to have a brief audience with the king. Not to mention, the visitor must also be meticulously dressed and display the most decorous speech and mannerisms if he or she dares to stand in the presence of the king. Yet, on occasion, the king will go out for a stroll in the fields, at which time he is totally accessible to even the most simple farmer or laborer. Anyone can approach him, regardless who they are, what they know, how much money they have, or what they are wearing.

Traditionally, this metaphor is understood as explaining how the King, God, is more merciful and accessible to repentant sinners during the month leading up to Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, but I think it also gives us a model for understanding how to make Judaism, in general, more inclusive and accessible. Jewish life is often perceived as being like the king in his palace, hidden behind the walls of ornate synagogues and spacious community centers. Those who wish to participate must navigate the barriers of perquisite background knowledge, costly membership dues, and, for some, an overall feeling of not being welcome. While this institutionally-oriented aspect of Jewish life is still valid and important, it cannot be the only way. There must come a time when we go out into the fields, literally wherever the people are, and bring a taste of Judaism to them.

I was mid-blessing when my five-year-old stomped upstairs and slammed his door. At the same time, my not-quite-two-year-old reached for the (lit) candles; rebuffed, he thrashed his way out of my arms and onto the floor, where he proceeded to point to the candles, speak unintelligible English (maybe it was Hebrew?), and cry.

Truth be told, I was mid-blessing when my five-year-old brought a helium balloon too close to the (lit) candles and I warned him to move the balloon away. I was a little further along when he did it again, at which point I scolded him, and he stomped upstairs and slammed his door and my toddler ended up on the floor crying.

And so begins – and ends – another chapter of my family’s weekly Shabbat saga.

Most Saturday mornings, when I am home, I can be found at Torah study at Temple Israel in Boston. But, when I travel I often let this practice lapse. This past weekend, however, I traveled solo and decided to take in Shabbat services at a local highly esteemed congregation.

Services were energetic; the music infectious; and, the Rabbi’s teaching was truly enlightening. The weekly Torah reading included Adam and Eve’s expulsion from the Garden of Eden. The Rabbi demonstrated through Rabbinic texts that the Jewish understanding of the expulsion myth is very different than the overwhelming prevailing Christian understanding of this narrative, as best exemplified by John Milton’s, Paradise Lost.

I was uplifted. I love learning something that is so simple and so clear and so patently obvious, but which I have somehow missed in the past 50+ years.

Yet, notwithstanding the empowerment of new knowledge, and the overall richness of the services, I left with the distinct feeling that something was missing. Something important.

In March 2014, Big Tent Judaism-Middlesex County hosted an event for the Jewish holiday of Purim, called Purim Pastry Pairing at a supermarket in Highland Park, NJ. Participants stopped by to taste hamantaschen (pastries filled with jam) and decorate a mask to take home. One passerby, Dan, stopped by for a free taste and to enter the raffle, and after winning the basket of Stop and Shop goodies and a gift card, met with me for coffee to talk about his Jewish experience growing up, and where he and his wife, Alexis, and their 2-year-old son are today. After finding out more about Dan and his family, I was able to invite him to some upcoming events for families that were just right for them. I also put him in touch with a rabbi at a local synagogue near where his family lives, so that they could continue even further on their Jewish journey.

Recently, Dan and his wife Alexis spoke with me about where their family is on their Jewish journey thus far.
——————

Tell me a little bit about your background, in terms of Jewish participation, and the home you grew up in.

Alexis: I grew up in a Catholic home. We went to church on Sundays, and my brother and I went to CCD (Confraternity of Christian Doctrine – Sunday School). My father was not really a believer, so it was really on my mom to guide us in the religion, and I think she was just going through the motions of Catholicism. I say this because when I was a teenager, my mother became a Born Again Christian and really became fully involved in that religion. Around this time, I stopped going to church because I started working on Sundays and also because I felt disconnected from religion. To be honest, church was boring, and I didn’t take anything away from going.

Dan: I grew up in a Modern Orthodox home; we kept kosher in and out of our home. We observed all the holidays and especially Shabbos [Sabbath]. My brother and I had Bar Mitzvahs and my sister had a Bat Mitzvah. I went to a Jewish sleep-away camp most of my youth, as well as Yeshivas [Jewish Day School] my whole life. Most of my schooling was with all boys.

Sara Schley is the founder and President of Seed Systems, an international consulting company established in 1994. Seed Systems uses Systems Thinking while working with individuals, teams, organizations, and networks to accelerate the transformation to a planet where all life thrives. Inspired by a non-Jewish friend who said, “Sara there is no center in our lives, you have to teach us how to do Shabbat!”, Sara has written Secrets of the 7th Day, the first book of her Radical Renewal series, about how everyone can learn from this ancient Jewish ritual, whether or not they are Jewish or even religious. The practice of unplugging from the world, slowing down, sharing in the simple joys of food, stories, songs and the outdoors can be celebrated by all. Secrets of the 7th Day invites all of us to make these beautiful practices for renewing the spirit our own. Ancient as the Sabbath is, we need it now more than ever.

My friend Linda– a PhD mid-career mom with three active teens and a high-powered husband is not the type you’d expect to plead. Yet there she was pleading to me, “Sara you have to teach us how to do Shabbat. There’s no center in our lives!”

“But Linda,” I replied, “You’re Catholic!”

“That doesn’t matter! I long for that time when we were kids, and always stayed home as a family on Sundays. There’s nothing supporting that kind of quality time in our culture now. You’ve figured it out. I watch your kids lead the rituals at your house. They so clearly love it. Show us how.”

“I’s the only time we really get your attention, Mom,” she says reflecting on the question, not snarky.

I know I can be scattered. Who’s not in this era of iEverythings, constant barrage of e-messages, inhuman expectation that we all be connected 24/7? With so many demands on our brains, no wonder we suffer from collective ADD. Who could blame me for being less than a perfectly present mother?

“You got a point there Maya. I’m definitely able to focus better on Shabbat because I unplug everything! Thank G-d for Shabbat for that!”

Shabbat Unplugged. It’s an ancient concept, but needed now more than ever.

It’s hard to believe it’s that time of year already, but the High Holidays have come and gone. As summer has faded into fall, Jewish communal professionals and volunteers across North America have brought Public Space JudaismSM to their communities, using the holidays to share a taste of Jewish life in public secular spaces.

When people think of where most Public Space Judaism programs are held, their minds often jump to a grocery store—for good reason, since many Public Space Judaism programs involve using food as an entry point into the holidays. Since most people regularly go grocery shopping, the supermarket is a great place to meet them where they are and introduce Jewish life and community through food. This is certainly true for the High Holidays, where our “A Spoonful of Honey” program uses gourmet apples and honey tasting in a public space to connect people with their Jewish community.

But there’s more to Public Space Judaism than grocery stores, and this year Big Tent Judaism and our partners have continued to bring Public Space Judaism to increasingly innovative new spaces. Over 20 of the 90 Public Space Judaism programs that took place this High Holiday season were held in “alternative” locations such as fairs, museums, and restaurants.

In which religion do interfaith families raise their children? That’s a question researchers and sociologists have been examining for decades, particularly in the Jewish community where intermarriage has increased exponentially since the 1980s. Well, we finally have the answer, courtesy of a recent article from “America’s Finest News Source,” The Onion:

According to a Pew Research Center study of American families published this week, more children in the United States are being raised with the religion of their pushier parent. “Interfaith couples have become increasingly common nationwide in recent decades, and as a result, we’re seeing more and more kids growing up practicing the faith of the parent who’s more aggressive and overbearing,” said researcher James Gammon, citing the rising number of dual-faith households in which children celebrate the holidays, traditions, and rites of passage of the parent who consistently drowns the other one out.

We will of course follow up this report with new programs and materials on how to become the pushiest parent you can be! All in good humor.

As a small child, my life was filled with Jewish music—especially songs about various Jewish holidays. Cassette tapes and CDs with Jewish songs played regularly on car rides. As soon as I learned to play piano, I would plunk out Hanukkah songs every year as the holiday approached. Every Sunday, my mom would ask me to sing the songs I learned that day at Hebrew school, and we would sing them together.

When I was older and would “work” in my mom’s preschool class during school holidays, I would watch as she led her rapt audience of 3-year-olds through Shabbat songs and dances on Friday mornings. By experiencing the musical genius that was “Challah in the Oven” and “Put the Matzah Ball in the Pot,” through song and dance, my mom’s students learned about Shabbat in an engaging, age-appropriate way. By experiencing Shabbat in an age-appropriate, engaging way, these children gained an understanding about what to expect during Shabbat and learned that Shabbat is a time for celebration through song, dance, family time, and food. This is why I enjoyed reading this article by father Jason Wiser, who described how he and his wife created Shabbat rituals with their unruly daughter, starting with the blessing over children:

“It occurred to me at that moment that we had never sat down and explained to our daughter what the prayer was about. So I told her that when we put our hands on her head we are asking for a long, healthy, and happy life for her, full of strength and good choices and wonderful things. Not an exact translation, but certainly what I always have in mind.”

By explaining the different rituals to his daughter—and why the rituals were so important—as well as finding creative and productive outlets for his daughter’s energy, Wiser’s family was able to create unique Shabbat rituals that helped everyone connect to the holiday.