my journey to a healthy life.

So this week I’m on vacation. I haven’t been doing really bad but I haven’t been good either. I was happy that this vacation came almost right after Hilary and I started on this path again. This way if I am not undoing all of my hard work or feeling like I can’t have fun on vacation. I am spending the week with my best friend and her 2 kids while her husband is away for work. We have been having fun just staying home and hanging out. That has been good for my wallet as well as my waistline. We have been cooking every night and I have been doing good with my portion size. I have also been thinking a lot about how I want to go about things when I get home. Hilary has been counting calories and I think that is the way I am going to go as well. I just need to figure out what is the best way for me to do it. I think that I will try the same way Hilary does with not writing everything down but instead try to hit a calorie intake amount for each meal with a little left over for a couple of snacks. Now I just have to find out what those calorie amounts should be.

Right now just doesn’t seem like the right time for Hilary (my sister) and I to do Weight Watchers again. The thought of counting points just seems like to much and I don’t want to start something that I am almost sure I would stop in a week or two because I was annoyed. So we came up with our own plan that we are hoping will work for us. We broke it down into food and exercise. We are still trying to figure out what is going to work the best for us as far as food goes. We have decided that for the beginning we are going to just try to eat better. For us this means watching portions, eating whole grains and adding more fruit and veggies. We also made the commitment to cook at least 5 nights a week and I am packing my lunch for work instead of eating in the hospital cafeteria. We are thinking about counting calories and are doing some research into what all that entails. Any suggestions would be welcome as neither of use really know what we are doing. As far as exercise is concerned we broke that down unto phases. We started by signing up at our local gym. A membership that we get for free BTW through the apt complex our townhouse is in. Why it took us 3 months to sign up is beyond me, I mean its totally free! For January our goal is to work out 3 times a week, at least. Once at the gym, once together before work (yuck) and one other time of our choosing. In February we are going to increase it by a day and add that it needs to be for at least 20min. March will add another day and longer times. I am hoping that even in January I can motivate myself enough to do more but we want to start with small steps so that we don’t overwhelm ourselves. It seems like sometimes we make all of these big plans and then when we can do it all right away we get frustrated and stop. So I think this is a good way to start.

So it’s been about 2 years since the last time I was on this blog. When I started thinking about blogging again about dieting, exercise and life in general I really thought about just starting a new blog and not coming back to this one. While reading some back entries I got discouraged about the number of times the entry was about starting over. It seemed like that is all I ever wrote about. My sister, who is on this roller coaster journey with me, reminded me that even though it seemed like we quit or gave up a lot these posts showed that we always started again. So I am going to continue with this same journey and keep telling myself that no matter how many times you fall the only thing that matters is that you get up. So this is me getting up and fighting for myself.

So here’s what you missed in the last couple years of my life. Abbreviated version
I stopped sitting on my hands and got re-certified as a Pharmacy Technician. Then I was able to get a job at the inpatient pharmacy at one of the largest Hospitals in Michigan. I love my job and it is something I can see myself doing for a long time. I have never had a job in the past where the idea of staying longer than a few years didn’t make me want to die. My sister and I moved out of our small dark apartment and into a townhouse. It definitely feels more like home. We were able to paint and that helped a ton. We also have a washer and dryer now and after 10 years of going to the laundry mat or my Moms that was one of the biggest reasons for the move. Well that and getting out of an apartment that felt more like a dungeon. I don’t know how we lasted there for 6 years. We have been yo-yo dieting usually going between Weight Watchers and nothing. So now I have gained almost all of the weight I had lost, in the year we were really committed, back.

So the last couple of weeks has just been like a yo-yo for me. Last week I ended up gaining 4.5lbs and then I didn’t blog about it because I was embarrassed. Hilary reminded me that I need to blog about the bad times as well as the good, so here it goes. So this will be about the last two weeks really. Right before my weigh in on the 4th I started my TOM and I am going to blame part of my gain on that. I can not however blame all of it on that. For the last couple of weeks we have had candy and cakes at work and I can’t say that I have been good at resisting them. I have tried to “snack” in moderation, but my job has been stressful lately and I have sometimes “helped” the stress by eating candy. I have noticed however that when I do that I don’t really even feel better. I am stressed from work and I feel bad because I could resist eating the “fun size” Twix or what ever was in the bowl. This past week I have done better but I haven’t been totally on track. I lost 4.5lbs this week so I am happy about that. It makes me think about what I could have done if I would have just stayed on plan. So this week I am going to take it one day at a time and if I mess up it doesn’t have to ruin my whole week, or even my day. So I am hoping that the next time I post I can say that I have regained some of my willpower and have made better choices. Here’s to a good week!

So I survived the Thanksgiving weekend. When I weighed in this week I didn’t have a loss but I didn’t gain either. So for me that is a win. We had city chicken at my Moms for Thanksgiving (its a mix of pork and veil in cream of mushroom soup) I really thought I wasn’t going to like it but it was good. I just had one skewer of it so 2 cubes of pork and 2 of veil. I did really good on my portions of green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, and a salad with walnuts and cranberries with a light vinaigrette dressing. I am really proud of myself because I didn’t go back for seconds. I did have a nice size piece of pumpkin pie but how can you resist that

One other thing I am proud of is that Hilary and I got up early to go to the gym on Thursday. I don’t think that I would have done that before. Now that we are giving ourselves these challenges it makes it easier to go. Not easier in the workout that I never want to do but knowing that we need to complete the challenges together to go so I don’t want to be to much behind her. I am glad that we don’t just have a weight loss challenge, this is the worst time of year for that, but we can really control making sure we get to the gym!

So Hilary and i decided that we need some help getting motivated. Here’s what we came up with. We both REALLY love the Twilight series and have been waiting for new Moon to come out. So we decided to use that to just start our weight loss. Because of my hip I don’t usually lose as fast as she does so we decided that we will wait to see New Moon until she loses 10lbs and I lose 6lbs. Now that is some GREAT motivation to get going. We also want to see The Blind Side so instead of a weight goal for that one, losing can be VERY temperamental, we decided that we needed some gym motivation as well so we will go see that after we have both been to the gym 20 times and have done at least a 30 min work out. We used to reward ourselves with food, idiots, but that obviously didn’t work. We both really like to go to the movies but don’t go that often so I think making it a reward for hard work will make it that much better. Come on 6lbs, I REALLY want to see that movie.

So it has been a LONG time since I have posted to this blog. I have not had the motivation to really do anything weight wise the last few months. Really I’m just lazy and would rather go home and sit and watch tv than go to the gym for 30-60 min. WHY? I am PAYING for a gym membership and money is tight so why in the heck am I not taking advantage of it. Not to mention that I just had my hip replaced and sitting around isn’t part of the physical therapy. Looking back at some of my old post I have noticed a trend, the last few months are post that start with me trying to start again. Well I think that this is the time, I am only about 13lbs from my starting weight and I really don’t want to go back to that. My new hip has already made my life SO much easier I really want to help it out, so to speak, and make it last as long as I can. So Iam not going to say that my journey will be perfect, because i know it won’t, we do have the Holidays coming. I will say that it will be better, and I think that my will power will be stronger. No more secret eating, that just makes me feel like a loser and a liar. I am also going to try to blog at least once a week, I have a tendency only to write the days or weeks I do well, but I am going to try to do it no matter what. I just keep telling myself that this is a process. The experts say that when you lose over a longer period of time you tend to keep it off. So I guess that’s good for me.

Sometimes I feel like I have two totally different personalities. One who really wants to be healthy and one that just doesn’t give a crap. I am really trying to suppress that little devil! I find out on Wednesday what my doctor is going to let me do at the gym in terms of exercise I imagine it will be mostly water stuff, but I would really like to get on the elliptical again sometime soon. I think being able to exercise will help me get back into the right mindset. It helps that my sister is doing this too, I know that my not caring for the last few weeks has hampered her progress as well. Last week I gained 4.5lbs, barf. I think that I am ready now, I really want to get under the 200 mark, its been a LONG time and I have been hovering between 204 and 210 for a long time. So here it goes.

So getting back on track has been a little harder than I thought it would be. Getting myself back into the mindset of counting points didn’t just come right back. So I am going to try really hard to just keep pushing myself and hopefully it will get better each week. I am happy to say that the month I was at my Moms I only gained 6.5lbs! Last week was my first week counting points again and I lost 7lbs!! so that helps with wanting to get back on track. For now I am just taking it one day at a time.

It’s been SO long since I have posted anything that a LOT has changed in my life. I am going to try to do a quick update and then start to post on a regular basis again. I always do so much better with things when I am accountable for my actions and I love all of the support I have gotten from other women going through the same things. So here it goes…

A few months back I posted that I was going to have hip replacement surgery and on May 8th I got that new hip! I am feeling really good. Better then I have felt in years! I am only 28 so that is young for the surgery but I am really glad that I did it. I have been sleeping through the night, something that I haven’t done in about 6 years! The only pain I have is from the surgery and even that is minuscule, but let me tell you the itching is terrible! My incision itches so bad at times is is hard for me not to just rip into it I just went to the Dr today and he told me that I have to use my walker for another 4 weeks even though I am feeling great. I was a little bummed about that but he said that it would be better for me in the long run. That the longer I stay off it at first the better it will heal and the longer it will last. ( I may need new hardware down the line sometime because I am so young and they aren’t sure how long the hip will last.) So I have to just force myself to stay off it. I am also living at my Mom’s and it is nice but kind of strange. I live in a 3rd floor apartment so it is going to be a couple of weeks until I can go home. My family has been so good to me in my recovery, my sister took a week of of work to stay home with me and because I cant really do anything for myself if it involves carrying anything they have had to do just about everything for me. I thought that they would get annoyed because I have to ask them for things a lot but really they get more annoyed when I don’t ask them and try to do things myself they really are great.

So on the diet and exercise side of things I kind of went of track when I found out I was getting this hip. I got really scared because I wasn’t sure what was going to happen after the surgery and instead of staying on plan I did a lot of emotional eating. So I have gained back some of my weight. Its been hard to stay OP at my Moms house but she is a big supporter of my sister and I so even though I am not counting points while I am here she has helped me to eat well and watch my portions. It helps that she has to prepare my meals I am VERY committed to being on plan when I am home and I know that I can get back into the same mind set as when I started 9 months ago!! Exercising is going to be a little harder. Right now I can only put 50% of my body weight on the hip so that makes my options pretty limited. I have been doing some leg exercise that they showed me in physical therapy and I have been using some hand weights that my Mom has at her house. I am hoping to get back to the gym soon and at least do some of the upper body weights. So that’s it for now, quite a lengthy post but I am glad to be back! I hope that everyone is doing well!