Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Sharing

So okay, I know I share a bunch of stuff here in this space, you all know far more about me than I am guessing you would like. I stand before you naked time and time again, my life, my friendships, my overindulgence…my heart; it is all out here on display for you all to read in between my miscellaneous wine posts or rants about this and that. Not sure if that brings you closer or runs you off, guessing it is a bit of both. Some stay, follow me along in my quest and self exploration and others will flee in search of something more wine focused. I get it and don’t blame the ones that bail, adore the ones that stay and support me on my baby-legged stumble to find my voice in this big wine blogging world. For those that stay I continue to share, share my stories, my inspiration and myself…the only thing I really have to give to thank you all, all those fingers in my back, those eyes on me, that drive that pushes me to continue talking, oozing, waxing rhapsodic about whatever it is that bounces into this wacky head of mine…

So this evening, all alone in my home, I started thinking about sharing, how lovely, how codifying, how powerful it is but….sometimes, well sometimes it’s better alone. I’m willing to confess that sometimes pleasure is best served for one…especially when you are serving yourself.

Don’t go acting all shocked, don’t act like you don’t do it too, I know you do..you all do, we all do, and sometimes there is nothing better than the pleasure one can derive than that from one’s own hand, one’s own voice and from one’s own purring sounds. Sure, the Internets assist, they lead us, toy with us; make us think of things that we might not have considered on our own. Offer scintillating photos of what we want, what we secretly ache for, make our mouths water for, “Just a taste” and then we are left to our own devices…our own will, our own want. Tonight I “wanted” more than I have in a very long time….alone or not, I was going to, have…take, and fucking feel…what I wanted, me and me alone.

To be alone with your, self seduction, the way you can feel the little hairs stand up on the base of your neck, the way the skin around your most sensitive parts seem to constrict, tighten and the way that feeling runs up the base of your spine. To have a room so silent that you can hear the groan of pleasure escape your lips, how sexy that echoing silence can be. Just you, your thoughts, your will, your want, your need…your nose caught up in the cacophony of scent, your palate wildly flicking away…bouncing, fighting to taste every last drop, the way your throat seems to expand to take it all in. There is nothing like it. Sharing is sweet, it’s wonderful but this feeling…unlike any other.

So tonight I pleasured myself, I’m not afraid to share that here. It felt fantastic, my hairs erect, my throat open, my heart open and me here, with all of you…exposing myself once again, sharing my self exploration with you. I opened a bottle of 2000 Paul Chapelle Meursault and drank the whole damn thing…alone. No one in my ear yammering about texture, length or premature oxidation, just me…alone in my library smelling home. Face washed, jammies on, little hairs tingling the base of my neck…

Great wine is best shared with people that can appreciate it, I have to agree….for the most part, but once in a while, there is nothing that can compare or compete with the knee weakening, heart pounding…….head spinning pleasure that can be had with a night of, “self pleasurevation”…

17 comments:

Good Lord, woman! I think just reading this post is illegal in the state of Tennessee. I had to close the curtains and lock the front door. ;)

Thank you as always for sharing your honest passion for the grape, and for the fact that this post was not written by the stereotypical wrinkly old wine writer. Certain mental images... just don't need to happen.

Ben, I felt so nekkid when I hit, "publish" was keeping my fingers crossed that someone cool would read it first...so glad it was you.Thank you for being the cool cat that you are and for like, reading all my junk...curtains closed or open. I adore you Ben.

Sam,I kept waiting for you to say you were talking about something else--but you didn't--you really were talking about "that."I, too, enjoy solo activities...like drinking yummy wine by myself.Love,Amy

Holy cow, woman! I'm three shades of red right now. You are officially the Anais Nin of wine blogging. Extraordinary! The effortless freedom with which you write, you have far bigger "juevos" than I do.

I don't know why I haven't saved your blog to my "Favorites" before now. Benito, who I did not know a couple months ago, e-mailed me about my blog back then, which was VERY flattering, mind you, and in the course of our e-mail exchange, told me yours was a blog I should read. So I did, and adored it. But then I guess I forgot to save it to my Favorites then, because when I came back to it just now and read this post, I thought, "Oh Yeah, THIS blog! I meant to be reading it regularly, and let it slip between the cracks somehow. . ." But now that I've "found" it again, I will be visiting regularly. Awesome post, by the way! I am drinking wine all by my lonesome tonight, and enjoying every minute of it!

Kimberly, Well welcome back lady. I appreciate being found, I tend to get lost a lot...this post should prove that! Glad to be back on your radar and look forward to hearing more girlies chime in from time to time.

K, Well thanks chicka, got some rather interesting comments and emails about this post. I had fun writing it and even more fun hearing how people took it.