Family First

I was loaded with questions and scenarios yesterday morning as I put Javi down for a nap. It was a rough morning. I was my overly OC self and I got cranky when I thought of every single thing that was out of order.

Then I asked myself if life would be better if we had hired a yaya to help me with Javi. Would I pay another individual to look after my little boy? Heavens no! I seriously want to raise him by myself. It is just very challenging. There are days when things are falling apart and I want scream my head off. What I decided I need is a cleaning lady who can come to our house twice a week to help clean, etc. I have no idea where to find a person like this in Cebu.

It crossed my mind and I wondered if my little boy would appreciate that I raised him on my own. Of course, his dad is there but being the head of the house he works long hours and travels often. Would Javi have preferred being raised by his own mother? Or it would not matter if he was taken care of by a yaya? My own mother raised my brother and I alone with some form of help during the day. My younger sister came in much later. But you know what, I honestly don't remember being taken care of by another individual other than my mother. While I didn't fully appreciate it when I was a kid, I cannot be more thankful now that my mother took the time to raise us. I guess that was why I am this hands-on to Javi. I am aware of the benefits of a child raised by the parent/s.

I was thinking fast forward. I got curious. I asked Jed if - heaven forbid and I keep on praying that it won't - what happened to his father would happen to any of us, would either of us prefer to be taken care of personally by either spouse or hiring a caregiver would be be alright? Of course we might have to take into consideration our finances, lifestyle and what our needs be at that time. But my take is I would definitely want my husband to take care of me the best possible way. I'd need his TLC more than any person. I made a vow with him, in sickness and in health. I did not recite those vows with the caregiver.

How about parents? Now that I am married my first priority is now my husband, then my child/children, and then my parents. (Although I am struggling with this at the moment as taking care of Javi takes up most of my time.) The Bible states that we have to honor our mother and father. There was a point in time when both my parents were both undergoing treatment for their cancers. Let me tell you those were our family's darkest hours. My mother survived while my father didn't. And in those three years, I hoped that I showed them I could take care of them in my own little way. I love my parents so much. We are just not the touchy-feeling ones.

These choices entail sacrifices and they are the road less taken. But in the end it is all worth it. I am not a fan of regrets and I know how short life is. I'd rather make certain sacrifices and give up a part of my life for the people I most love. After all, these people are my life. In doing so, the Lord tremendously blessed us. I seriously believe that the Lord has greater plans for people who set the right priorities in life.