Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

But, hey, I notice Tiller’s clinic is officially closing forever, which is sad because that fucking wing nut got exactly what he wanted.

JMP

Yeah that’s just a few blocks from my office! Abortion party time! Now if only I were a lady, and had actually been getting some recently.

finallyhappy

[re=334907]JMP[/re]: and speaking of Philly, any idea where to get a veggie version of a cheesesteak? I hear your former mayor ate them.

4tehlulz

These abortions are not gay ones. Fail.

bago

So if this is a play off of “I am Spartacus”, does this not mean that executions are in order?

PerhapsSo

If i had only had sex a month or so ago, I could totally take advantage of this. Where is my foresight?

PerhapsSo

[re=334931]finallyhappy[/re]: Blasphemy!

ignatius_riley

For the shit of fuck, I wasted my lunch break on a crappy pedicure. I could have gotten my womb vacuumed AND saved $48! I guess I’ll just have to wait for the (sadly, probably inevitable) next horrific and tragic murder of an American medical hero by an unhinged wingnut neanderthal.

JMP

[re=334931]finallyhappy[/re]: That kind of defeats the purpose of the cheesesteak; the only acceptable replacement is chicken. Have seen them on some of the sidewalk vendors’ menus, though; don’t remember where.

NoWireHangers

Why, that’s cheaper than a box of condoms!

caughntx

Do I get a free toothbrush? They’re pricey!

Double Scorpion

[re=334834]facehead[/re]: They should give out the same ones they do on Election Day. “I Aborted”

Mr Blifil

As usual welfare cheats will game the system, getting abortions, running out and fucking vagrants and then getting right back in line. This is why we can’t have nice things anymore.

mpslim

Yes!! I’m not even female, but I think I will have something baby shaped removed from my anus in a symbolic gesture honoring the wonder of abortion.