Five Things I Read This Week: August 16, 2013

For I have spent my entire life, even as a little girl, pursuing martrydom. When I was small, I was obsessed with missionary biographies, Bible stories, and Joan of Arc was my patron saint. I created a hierarchy in my mind of who God loves best (those who do big and wild and scary things) and I wanted to be right at the top. Which brings us to today, and joining a Christian order among the poor. I have many of the trappings of my heroes now: a self-sacrificing narrative, exotic locations, strange and terrible and beautiful and miraculous things happening. The trouble is, based on that hierarchy I created long ago, it turns out I am just using my friends and neighbors on the lower ends of the economic spectrum as conduits to make God love me more.

May you use all your words. The good ones. And the bad ones. Use them carefully, with reverence to the power they hold. Remember that it is never merely semantics. There is no such thing as a synonym.

May you have the boldness to evict those who deserve no safe passage through your mind. Rejoice in the empty, open space that is solely yours. But when the day comes, and it will come, take down the “no vacancy” sign from your heart. Open the curtains and let in the light.

5. And one post I can’t stop thinking about, which is beautifully written but should be read with caution, entitled My Not Rape, over at the Feminist Network’s Blog.

I think about what would have happened if those people had reacted differently to my story. If I had had just one assailant, instead of many.