TO NEW BEGINNINGS | an honest letter to you

Hey friends! I have changed my work schedule around so that way I could have a day off during the week. And today is my first official day to myself. And I have to say, friends, I’m loving it. I don’t know what exactly it is about having an entire home to yourself, a day to do whatever, a break in an otherwise set routine, but it’s amazing. Therapeutic, almost.

But I will admit, there has been times where my mind has switched to feeling guilty, almost. For not being as productive, not getting a huge to-do list done, to not be spinning out blog posts left and right, taking the best photos, going out to a cafe for some good coffee, deep cleaning my apartment, working out, and…. generally anything other than what I have actually been doing.

Does anyone else struggle with “turning off” these days? I know for me specifically, it’s hard for me to sit back and relax, spend quality time with people, to stop thinking about work and agendas and blogging, and to even fall asleep at night. I could be watching TV, and have this longing to grab my phone and endlessly scroll. And I’ve even grown into the habit of coming home from my full time job and go straight to blogging, and then before I know it it’s nearly midnight and I haven’t moved.

You probably could tell by my September Playlist post, but I haven’t been feeling myself lately. And I think that this is definitely a contributing factor to this, if I’m honest. I feel really strange talking about this sort of thing in detail, but I think it is very important that I’m honest with you all about my feelings. I haven’t lost passion for blogging, but as you can see, I haven’t been posting my normal 4+ times a week.

And that’s because somewhere along the way I lost myself.

You see, I doubt myself a lot of the time. And the truth is, sometimes we just can’t help how we feel. But regardless, we must always push forwards, care for ourselves when we need it the most, and remember that it’s okay to not always be okay. And right now, that’s what I’m doing.

I’m trying to love myself again and celebrate who I am. I’ve been filling up my time with things that make me feel good; whether that be evening strolls with my pup or spending time with myself figuring out who it is I am and what it is I want to do.

And while at times it’s been difficult, I have been truly trying to turn these feelings into something positive. And right now, that positive is the fact that I’m slowly starting to find my path.

All of this is basically to say:

This difficult time that I have been going through has taught me some essential pieces about myself. I feel like I’m coming back from it all rejuvenated and focused. I’m clearing my mind, getting ready to begin a new chapter, and am working hard to take this blog to new level. I am so very grateful to be on a blogging platform expressing myself and meeting some amazing people along the way. I hope you all stick around, because I have been planning some exciting stuff that I know you all will love. So stay tuned for all of that! I’m back, better than ever, and I hope you’re ready. Because things can only get better from here, friends!

Side Note: I didn’t intend to make this post all about myself and my feelings. If I’m honest, I planned on talking about the makeup products I used in the photos above. Mostly because 1: this is the look I’ve been wearing almost every day. And 2: A lot of what you see is from the Nikkie Tutorials x Too Faced product launch, which I recently wrote about here. If you are still interested in learning more I’ll quickly let you know:

Let me know in the comments how you’ve been lately. I genuinely want to know. How are you? What’s new in your life? What are you looking forward to? Are you okay? I think it’s important as someone will a following, no matter how big or how small, to use my voice for a purpose. And if you don’t have anyone to talk to, if you’re feeling down, if you’re celebrating something and want to scream it to the world, let me know. I would love to hear from you all.

And if you have any self-care or self-celebration tips, please leave those in the comments as well. I’m sure we all could use it.

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20 Comments

Sometimes I think we place to much pressure on being constantly productive. Give yourself a break it can be just as productive as being constantly busy when you come back refreshed and focused. If working full time and doing a part time degree has taught me anything its the importance of balance. I need me time even if that me time is shouting at the contestants on bake off like I’m Paul Hollywoods prodigal child. Life is for living not just “to be productive” xxx chin up and do the things that make you happy x

You are absolutely right! It’s so much better to take a day to yourself and come back refreshed, rather than pushing through when you’re not feeling well and doing the work half as good. That’s definitely why I haven’t pushed myself to upload as often as I used to. Because if I had, I wouldn’t have produced content than I’m proud of. Thank you for your comment, by the way, it actually helped me feel a ton better!

Good 🙂 sometimes I find it helps if you have someone to fall back on too. You know that outsiders perspective. For me thats my mum, most of the the time she doesn’t tell me anything I don’t already know but it helps me remember whats important when I get stressed out or wrapped up in things a bit too much. X

I thoroughly enjoyed your post and do understand how easy is is to get lost in your blogging. I had lost my original focus because I got distracted by status updates. So I do get that. As for me? I am going through a rough patch, if you want to read more about it you are welcome to read my blog, especially my last two posts at focusandrefocus2016.WordPress.com
Thanks for sharing and caring you have a generous heart.

Aw, thank you kindly! I definitely feel a lot better this week – But that may possibly be because it’s the weekend 😛 However, I’m going into the week with positive vibes! I hope you have a fantastic Monday! 🙂

What a lovely post! Its refreshing to see that honesty. I’m exactly the same, on my days off I feel like I need to be super productive, but when it comes to it I’m super tired then feel guilty about not getting stuff done! Xx

I’m glad you liked my post! 🙂 And that’s basically me every time I have down time! Haha. I have no idea why we set such high limitations for ourselves. Especially if they’re not realistic. Everyone needs a little chill time to themselves! Especially time without the negative thoughts looming, haha. One day we’ll get there! 🙂

I love this post! I feel like I’m in the same boat and it’s no fun. If I use my day off to work I feel burnt out- But if I use it to relax and watch Netflix I feel guilty! It’s a double-edged sword. But I’m glad that you’re getting a day off in the week because it kind of breaks up the week into easier to manage pieces. BTW I love your pictures, you’re seriously SO pretty- you should dedicate another post to the makeup look!

The struggle is real! haha. I’m so fortunate to have that extra day off to really help destress and focus on my blog more! If you have any destress tips I would love for you to toss some my way! haha. And wow, thank you so much! I definitely want to do some more fall-appropriate looks soon – I’ll be sure to add this in! And perhaps one with a cut crease look for a bit of autumnal glam?

Thank you, Keyra! Honestly, your kind words are very much appreciated. I’m glad you enjoy my content; hearing that makes me want to push harder to get back to creating better content and more often! I hope you have a lovely week! 🙂

I love the honesty in this post. I can definitely relate as I’m in a bit of a productivity slump myself. It’s hard to stay focused and blog when you work full time and only get a day off, so don’t beat yourself up about it! I always love your posts, and think you’re great at what you do 🙂 Also, I looove your makeup. You’re so pretty! Those posts that end up being more personal and aren’t exactly what you originally intended to talk about are actually great because they’re so genuine and honest. It happens to me all the time. So, if you ever want to use the platform you have just to vent a little, that’s totally okay because there are people who can relate and love to listen!

I really appreciate you sweet words of encouragement, Gabrielle. You always leave such lovely comments to me! And I completely agree, it’s honestly really great to open up a bit more on my blog. Some days I’m just not really in the mood to talk about materialistic topics. I love makeup, but at the end of the day it’s not what matters. Being honest with others, trying to help spread positivity, helping others feel less alone is a much more productive use of a platform. I could just go on and on about self care, mental health, feminism, etc!

I am in the same boat as you! The materialistic stuff is fun to talk about, but it’s hard to ignore the really important stuff (don’t even get me started on mental health and feminism, I could go on forever!) and its good to have a balance between the deeper and surface level topics.