A teenager who bought a half dozen box of duck eggs from Sainsbury’s incubated them; 28 days later ducklings emerged

The ducklings in my bathroom had to go. There was the smell, for one thing: a
farmyard stench, drifting through the house. The tub had become a no-go
since my son had begun teaching them to swim, leaving an inevitable
green-black residue. Then there was the Tippi Hedren horror if their cage
was left open: as you blundered into the loo, birds would rush at you, all
waddling and beaky.

Clearly Joe was spoiling these ducks, running them warm baths, rewarding their
waterborne progress with digestive biscuits. They had grown used to central
heating and being towel-dried. But it was