Best Undersize Dress: Penelope Cruz

How damned hot is this woman? One month post birth. About 36 days. You know what the plan was for her? ‘Let me POUR MY ASS into this dress that I probably had from before I was pregnant. I know that I will look amazing, but that’s not entirely the point. The point is that I will also look effortless, and you will be so completely overwhelmed at the sight of my body in this starburst that you will forget entirely that my husband looked a little bit like a Twinkie or similar American snack cake because the tones of the ‘white’ tux and the actually white shirt didn’t match.

Lest you think it’s only me who feels this strongly about her overwhelming looks, Donald Glover tweeted the following… “Javier and Penelope must have the most passionate sex. Like, he c*ms a guitar and plays it for her sex”

It’s possible that kind of effusive devotion could have come up before Penelope’s truly fantastic breasts were placed on display in this way. I’m just saying it’s not a coincidence now.