Here are my random thoughts as I get a grip on having cancer at 42 (now 49) years old. I would like to inspire hope in all of you and in myself as well as to provide a place for you to keep track of me through this ordeal.

December 12, 2011

It better be working, I pray it is

I haven't posted in a while because I am still struggling with nausea and fatigue. Though these are known side effects of the XL-184, it doesn't make dealing with them any easier. It is a constant, daily battle. I now have three different anti-nausea drugs and though they provide some relief, none of them is perfect. As for the fatigue, it has just become a recurring daily theme. Some days are good, others I spend a lot of time napping.

For now, I just have to fight through it until my next appointment in Boston. At that time I am really going to push for the doctor to lower the dose I am on to 50mg. I am not sure if the doctor will agree, but I plan on making a strong case. The nausea continues to cause weight loss (aprox. 23 lbs now) and the fatigue has just gone on too long.

Aside from these two wonderful challenges, we, like the rest of you, are trying to get ready for Christmas. I should correct that and state that Mary is trying to get us ready for Christmas. The house looks great and her shopping is well under way. This is one of my favorite times of the year and not being able to do much to help is really weighing on me. I want to do more to help decorate and shop, but as I mentioned above, it's just not in the cards right now. On Sunday I helped Mary and Brad cover our patio furniture and helped Brad run the extension cords needed to run some Christmas light in the front of the house. That consisted of twenty, maybe thirty minutes of very light work and I was zapped and had to returned to the recliner to recover. I've read a number of ebooks and seen a lot of NFL football, but I want some semblance of normalcy to return to my life!

I'll try to update the blog more frequently between now and the end of the year, God Bless you all.

It isn't much comfort for me to say I feel for you and hope that you get your drug dose reduction and some relief from your symptoms, but at least posting a note here means that I've read your blog! And as a blogger msyelf it is always nice to know that the effort of putting out some words has been worthwhile:-)

You are such an inspiration for those with cancer, as well as those without. By going through this trial, you are helping so many men in the future, who won't have to deal with the trials and tribulations of determining the right dosage. Although the physical challenges right now may be wearing on you mentally, stay strong and keep your spirit high. You will get through this! Your family and friends love you.

So glad Mary is a dear and continuing to make Christmas special! Sorry about all the nausea- Terence and I are really praying and hoping that they can get the right dosage on this trial for you. We understand how that is and how it feels.

My father was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer at age 51 this past July. He is about to start a clinical trial at MD Anderson. I love reading your blog because it makes us feel like we are not fighting this alone. I am always keeping him updated on your journey as he walks his as well. Prayers to you and your family! Natalie

My father was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer at age 51 this past July. He is about to start a clinical trial at MD Anderson. I love reading your blog because it makes us feel like we are not fighting this alone. I am always keeping him updated on your journey as he walks his as well. Prayers to you and your family! Natalie