Wednesday, July 27, 2005

To the left is one of my more recent painting efforts, although it is about two months old at the moment. Last week I entered the model in a painting competition at the local games store. I doubt it will win, but the whole showing off aspect of putting in an entry to such a competition appeals to me. I've previously got a best painted at a competition, which was a bit of a surprise, but given that there were only six people in the tournament, and three of them had not fully painted their army, so it wasn't that much of an achievement, but I was pretty stoked by that.

My approach to painting has also changed over time. It started out as a very methodical, production line type activity, which is ok when your just starting as you have a large number of very similar models to paint. But now I tend to get more satisfaction out of doing the more unique members of the army and taking a lot of time and care with them. I also use a lot more colors now. My first few models were done with only about 8 or so colors. Now I have about 30 or so different colors, and doing mixing and stuff as well, so get a lot finer detail.

I had to call up one of my banks today, and the hold music there is so much better than the stuff at the place I work. It was some nice jazz type music, without any interruptions. At the place I work the hold music is a trashy bit of pop music that repeats and is constanly interrupted by someone saying either that someone will answer soon or trying to sell other ways to get into debt with us. It really starts to grate if you have to listen to it for too long.

I think I'm coming up with a list of things that if I ever start a business I'm going to make sure aren't done. These are just the petty things which just work to make it less pleasant for people to deal with. I'd make sure that different groups that had to interact all had an idea of what the other groups did, and who was responsible for what. I wouldn't skimp and provide single ply toilet paper. But no matter what, stupid people will still cause problems, so I don't know what I'd do to help with that. Hold music is one of the things that for very little effort can be so much less annoying.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

I got an invitation the other day to an engagement party. The invitation was from Kylie, someone I once thought I cared a lot about. However things were not seen the same way by both parties, and so I got to experience heartbreak for the first time. Since then I've tried to move on. A few months after things didn't work out I went to a party which she attended with her boyfriend. I did not handle it well, and ended up not talking for about a week. I scared my grandmother into thinking I might be on drugs or something. A month or so after that while catching a train, I came to the realization I could keep being unhappy about it, or just say fuck it, and get on with my life. I've generally tried to do so since then, but every now and then, something happens that makes me feel morose again. Like being invited to the housewarming party when she moved in with the other guy. And now being invited to the engagement party.

At least this time I responded to the invitation. When I got the invitation to the hosewarming party I just said fuck to myself and ignored it.

The fallout from my first attempt at romance is still sort of hanging around. While we used to be good friends I haven't spoken to her more than once or twice in the past two years. I've avoided romance for most of the time since then, thoroughly rebuking those who have made advances toward me. And though I've sorted of started to change my position on the matter, to the point that if someone were to make some sort of advance, I wouldn't reject it outright but go with it. But I'm still not actively looking.

I don't think I'm going to go to the engagement party. While I'd like to be able to say I wish them all the best, a long and happy life and all that and actually mean it, I can't. Or at least not in a specifc them sense. In an abstract, they're people and so as people deserve the best they can get out of life, sure. But not in the specifc them sense.

And so I sit here, typing but not entirely happy with the way things are.