We're in our 40's. We're doing IVF and looking into adoption. Game On.

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This morning we did a 3day transfer. First stop once we got there was to meet with the embryologist. Walking in we thought we had 2 embryos in the game and were very happy with that. Sadly though, we learned that one of the two eggs that had fertilized never divided. At. All. It fertilized and puttered out. But, embryo number 2 did divide and by today was at 8 cells, with only a little fragmentation. Next we went into the room where you robe up and get ready for the show and I……unexpectedly started to cry. I haven’t cried in awhile, but there I was, leaking from the eye sockets. Whatever stress of all this just decided to come out. I think it was mostly, “really, just 1?”

Nurse who had been a bit man-handle-y the day of the retrieval came in, saw my salty face, and was completely surprised and worried. My husband simple said, “we were hoping for different numbers.” Man-handle-y nurse became: THE NICEST NURSE EVER. Total 180. Good times.

I kicked back in the barcalounger and listened to my relaxation exercise from Circle+Bloom, but just couldn’t focus. I opened my eyes and realized my hubbo was writing goofy messages to me on his mini iPad, which started me back on the path to happy.

And suddenly they came to get me, took me into the room where a different nice nurse got me all tucked in snug as a bug and The Russian came in to tell me that even though it was just one to transfer, she was happy with it. She also reminded me that last time we had implantation (it was a chemical pregnancy) and that this time we would hope for more.

The transfer was just peachy, and it’s a pretty amazing thing. I mean, you get to watch on a monitor as the embryo makes its way through a catheter and settles in. You sort of watch yourself get pregnant….which, if you can’t do it the old-fashioned way…..is a pretty cool consolation prize! I’m then left alone on the table to hang out for 20 minutes. And…..I immediately sneeze. Like a HUGE sneeze. I had to laugh. I just had this fragile thing put in me and I’m supposed to just stay relaxed and BAM massive unladylike sneeze. The nurse later assured me that everything was absolutely fine – nothing’s going to fall out due to coughing, laughing, sneezing, etc. I then remembered a great analogy I’d read somewhere on-line:

“The embryo is like a grain of pepper in a raspberry jam sauce.”

Odd, weird and a little gross, but just what this girl needed to hear.

Back to the 20 minutes of waiting – this time instead of relaxing stuff to listen to, I opted for funny. There’s some research happening regarding laughter following IVF transfer:

If you’re not into swears, don’t go and listen to these….but if you’re lenient on language, this is some pretty funny stuff. It definitely helped to pass the time and I came out of the room in a far better mood than I went in.

Now I’m home hanging out – no assigned bed rest, just instructions to take it easy. I’ve had some comforting warm soup, my dog is snoring next to me like a truck stop hooker and I’ve got an acupuncture appointment in a few hours.

And there’s this: today is our wedding anniversary which we’re taking as a good omen. I mean, of any day our transfer could have fallen, it fell on the very very happy day we got hitched….so MAYBE, just maybe, it’ll also be the day got pregnant.