Gaddafi vows to press on with deficit reduction

Colonel Gaddafi confirmed last night that reducing Libya's budget deficit remained his top priority, and that "nothing, not even the Zionist Crusaders" would stop him moving into fiscal surplus in real terms by 2015.
'The debt I inherited from the last regime needs to be paid off' he said, brushing aside the nose cone of a tomahawk missile. 'First I reduce public spending by 50%, by cutting it 100% east of Ajabiya. Then I reorganise the health service again.'
However, Libyan doctors are still struggling with the commissioning structure introduced last month. 'The official guidance states "discover you are short of drugs, then step into the market and shout "who's got some drugs?" said Dr Younis of Benghazi General Hospital. 'Then we have to pretend we don't really need them, otherwise we can't haggle properly. Now Gadaffi expects us to call every drug salesman in the Arab League, and get them to haggle as well. How will I fit clinical work around the haggling?'
Gaddafi was adamant that growth could be achieved, and that he could continue to attract skilled workers to the country, despite border restrictions. 'We intend to grow the country by invading Egypt' he said. 'We are also offering non-Dom status, and a zero tax rate, to anyone who happens to have a gun and wants to work for us.'

Many expressed astonishment that the supreme leader could think of cutting public services at a time like this. 'That is why we want democracy' said a protestor. 'So the people get to choose how their money is spent. Like you do in the west.'