tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86576455502082206862014-10-03T04:10:07.514-04:00Repackaged GoodsAn fresh, non-biased &amp; sometimes Christian faith based prospective on life after sexual assault.Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-48972506033114386232012-04-01T16:53:00.000-04:002012-04-01T16:53:35.585-04:00We've moved & have a new website!Hi there! If you've stumbled&nbsp;on this page from a search engine or other outdated bookmark, please adjust your records and visit us at <a href="http://www.repackagedgoods.org./">www.repackagedgoods.org.</a> &nbsp;We've switched blog hosting in order to bring a few more services to you. Thank you for your support!<br /><br />Keep thriving and surviving!!Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-65250009443482956022012-01-08T18:00:00.000-05:002012-01-08T18:00:11.482-05:00In Order To Heal Declaration<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <o:Words>405</o:Words> <o:Characters>2312</o:Characters> <o:Company>Full Sail University</o:Company> <o:Lines>19</o:Lines> <o:Paragraphs>4</o:Paragraphs> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>2839</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:Version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <br /><blockquote class="tr_bq"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In doing reading and research today, I found something incredible. As I previously stated that we would really dig into how to heal this year, this was perfect. I think it's awesome survivor declaration of healing. <i>Please note, that I didn't write this, the credit belongs to T. Jimma Morte. Awesome job T. Jimma!&nbsp;</i></span></blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">In Order to Heal, It’s Not Necessary…..<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">… for our perpetrator(s) to acknowledge the abuse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We are strong, intelligent and capable beings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We know in our hearts, our bodies and our souls the truth of our past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We survived without their help and we can most certainly heal without their assistance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>It is our right to own our survival, as well as our healing, no matter to what degree they are in denial.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">…to forget, as in “forgive and forget,” as we must never forget.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>Until our society is relieved of the epidemic of all violence, we must continue to keep this issue in the forefront.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>This is the only way in which we can stop the cycle of abuse.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">…. To forgive ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>For we, as survivors, have done absolutely nothing to be forgiven for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We did not ask to be assaulted and our lives torn apart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We were held captive by the manipulation and threats of our abusers.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">….To relive every painful event.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We have lived the pain --- every treacherous, excruciating and agonizing moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We need not return to the origin of each abusive act.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We need only a point of reference, an idea and understanding of what we must work through to successfully recover and heal.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">…. To “prove” our abuse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We do have proof, even if the visual scars and bruises have long since disappeared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We carry with us the irrefutable truth of our memories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We do have proof, proof in many forms which most of us will carry with us, at least at some level, throughout the rest of our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We know what our perpetrators did and we carry in our bodies, hearts and memories all the proof we need.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">…to directly confront our perpetrator(s).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>For to do so, in many cases, would only bring even more pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>In some cases, it might even threaten our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We have traveled that long and painful path from victim to survivor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We truly do not need to jeopardize our life and well-being, or the safety of our present day friends and loved ones, for we know our truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We know the perpetrator(s) already know the truth.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">…to share the same belief system as others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>For each of us to have survived, we must have an incredible inner strength.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>Not all sexual assault victims have been as fortunate as we have been, to find and carry with us this power within.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>Along with this inner strength, we each had our own individual belief system that helped us survive those endless days and unimaginable nights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>We must honor those strengths, those found within and those given by mother earth, nature, the universe or an individual’s higher power.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>Question not other survivor’s beliefs and centers of strength, but honor them as you do your own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>Celebrate together that we have truly made it through to the other side and the road traveled surpasses surviving and moves onto the path of thriving.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">By T. Jimma Morte<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div><!--EndFragment-->Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-87457060126649306842012-01-02T16:23:00.000-05:002012-01-02T16:23:21.333-05:00Fight For Your Healing in 2012!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <o:Words>505</o:Words> <o:Characters>2884</o:Characters> <o:Company>Full Sail University</o:Company> <o:Lines>24</o:Lines> <o:Paragraphs>5</o:Paragraphs> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>3541</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:Version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <br /><div class="MsoNormal">First off Happy New Year! I hope everyone had an incredible Christmas and I’m praying for wonderful things for each and everyone of you this year.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">With a new year, we always make new years resolutions. I really don’t like the term resolutions as much as I like new year life changes. I think (while it could be just a figment of my mind anyway lol) that people take the term “new years resolutions” just to loosely, and by March, they’ve often gotten all off track.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>I like the idea of making goals to change aspects of improvements in my life. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">However you want to view it, whatever you want to call it, I challenge YOU to make a lifestyle change of healing this year. Chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re either a survivor of sexual assault or you have a loved one that you are trying to figure out how to help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">If you are a survivor: I challenge you to really thrive this year. One of the biggest issues to Christian survivors (outside of why it happened) is why after we’ve prayed, cried and etc why the pain is still there. Why do I still have self-destructive thoughts and behavior? Can I tell you that it’s completely normal and you're not alone with your feelings.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Take a look at Psalms 147. There the Bible tells us that God heals our heart and bandages our wounds. (NLT &amp; the Message Translations) Unless you have been fortunate enough to never have had an actual wound, not even a paper cut then you know that wounds take time to heal. Even if you put some ointment and a bandage on it, it still is not going to heal instantly, but it surely helps promote quicker and better healing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span>The biggest of the wounds take even more time to heal. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Personally I’ve had a cesarean (aka c-section). If you’re unfamiliar with cesareans, they are considered major surgery, as your stomach must be cut open then later stapled or stitched together for a time period. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span>(yea..ouch..I’m wincing as I type it!) Being the over achiever, impatient and “I can do it myself” type person, (I’m sure my husband would prefer stubborn!) can I tell you that by the 2<sup>nd</sup> week I was so impatient of why I wasn’t healing fast enough, that I made myself worse? I was driving myself miserable, wondering why I couldn’t do real sit-ups and all the fitness things I used to 4, 9 and even 12 months after the fact. I finally got hit with the reality and massive irony that I haven’t learned what I tell survivors all the time, “healing takes time!” </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">I would absolutely consider healing from sexual assault more severe than a paper cut and more like cesarean recovery. It takes a good bit of time and effort to get back to where you used to be. Allow yourself to heal in <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">God’s</b> time! Don’t give yourself a day, two months or even just one prayer service to think you’ll never deal with issues related to your sexual assault. It <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">IS</b> a process and it does take time. Cry out to God and work everyday towards your healing. Fight the enemy for it, because he darn sure doesn’t want you to have it! He’d rather see you go into circles and stay broken. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">To the supporting love one: Be patient and please continue to support them. Encourage them to fight for their healing. It’s easy for survivors to feel that they are alone. And if you can’t relate to their feelings, let them know that there are others that can and where they can find them.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Again, thank you for your continued support and reading. We will really dig more into healing tools this year, so please keep reading and spreading the word.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Cheers to the start of a happy, thriving and restorative 2012!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">~Tyeasha~&nbsp;</div><!--EndFragment-->Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-39636329507429016412011-11-20T11:00:00.001-05:002011-11-20T11:00:03.544-05:00Imagine Yourself Living A Thriving Life Of Survivorhood<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <o:Words>478</o:Words> <o:Characters>2726</o:Characters> <o:Company>Full Sail University</o:Company> <o:Lines>22</o:Lines> <o:Paragraphs>5</o:Paragraphs> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>3347</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:Version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;">The bad news for sexual assault is this:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 22.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Victims of sexual assault are:</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 15.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>3 times</b> more likely to suffer from depression.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 15.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>6 times</b> more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 15.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>13 times</b> more likely to abuse alcohol.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 15.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>26 times</b> more likely to abuse drugs.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>4 times</b> more likely to contemplate suicide.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 15pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: 15pt;">&nbsp;</span><i>(Stats from World Health Organization. 2002. Pulled from <a href="http://www.rainn.org/" target="_blank">RAINN.org)</a></i><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">If you a survivor or know a survivor you know these stats are no exaggeration of the truth. Many survivors deal with one or more of these issues trying to suppress the pain and memories of the assault(s). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">However, this <b><u>is</u></b> great news to this.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">One of the things that victims struggle with the most is “<i>why did God allow this to happen to me</i>”. Let’s be real..some of us have even questioned God’s existence because it did happen to you. (and no that doesn’t make you any less of a Christian because of that either!) As a sensitive little girl, I asked my Mom often “<i>why do good things happen to bad people.</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">While there are simply things we can’t understand how and why God allows them, we know that while he could never say there wouldn’t ever be any “turbulence” in life, He did promise us joy in the mist of those rocky times (James 1:1-4). <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;">The key is, we must chose to let go of the self-assigned guilt in order to accept God’s joy. The two simply don’t mix. Guilt is everything the opposite of God’s desires for you..which means that it could only come from one place. (yes..that ugly thing we call the enemy)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></div><blockquote class="tr_bq"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;">&nbsp;In</span><a href="http://www.joelosteen.com/" style="font-family: Georgia;" target="_blank"> Joel Osteen’s</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia;"> new book <i>Everyday a Friday</i>, he makes this reference: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">“</span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Guilt puts you on a treadmill; you’re constantly working and struggling and sweating, but you don’t move forward.” </span></i></blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Now imagine yourself running away from your past, your shame and hurt. You’re making the miles faster than you thought! However, somewhere along the way, you spot a treadmill and jump on noticing how quick it moves and thinking surely it will lead you to happy land faster. But you end up discovering after seeing the same wilted tree 80 times (and of course wasting valuable time) that you are no longer getting close to the rays of sunshine and have moved no further than where you jumped on the treadmill at.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>This is the road to guilt. It’s never paved with happy endings, only endless running. (Makes you think differently about your exercise choices now huh? Lol)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">So imagine yourself giving up the best trade ever..a trade from that self-inflicted shame and guilt, to living a life full of joy despite being a victim of sexual assault. That my friends is what true survivor hood is all about. That is what living the abundant life despite our trials about.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Now imagine yourself smiling…imagine yourself without low self-esteem. Imagine yourself truly happy without being depressed. All of these things <b><u>are</u></b> possible…you must however make that most valuable trade ever of guilt for endless joy.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span>I leave you with a power music video that is the perfect conclusion to this topic. It's several years old, so it may just be a refresher for some of you, but still powerful nonetheless.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Please don’t hesitate to contact me with any questions, insights, more information and/or if you are unfamiliar with the God we speak about and want more information. And as always thank you for reading and your continued support!<o:p></o:p></span></div><blockquote class="tr_bq"><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></blockquote><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Be blessed, live &amp; thrive!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">~Ty~<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/I66SDeRQSJ4/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/I66SDeRQSJ4&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/I66SDeRQSJ4&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 231.05pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></div><!--EndFragment-->Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-6595568356127479882011-10-31T13:28:00.000-04:002011-10-31T13:28:07.716-04:00Registered Sex Offenders & Safe Trick-Or Treating!<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Goudy Old Style','serif'; font-size: 13pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">For those of you who will take your little ones out door to door for trick or treating tonight, here is some interesting news: in many states registered sex offenders may not participate in trick or treating. They cannot have a light on, decorate or answer the door..their limit to Halloween participation is playing the “lights on nobody’s home” game. In many areas, parole officers and cops will be checking to ensure that those offenders are following the rules. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Goudy Old Style','serif'; font-size: 13pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Check your route at <a href="http://www.familywatchdog.us/search.asp"><span style="color: purple;">Family Watchdog</span></a> and make sure that you skip by any registered sex offenders on your route and if you do see one on your route who is giving out candy to children, <strong><u>PLEASE</u></strong> report them to the authorities. Even if they have the light on..call your local police station and be sure it is against the law and report it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span>It is unconstitutional, uncool and not to mention not very Christian like to harass them, but let’s keep all of us safe and make sure the authorities are doing the right thing here. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Goudy Old Style','serif'; font-size: 13pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Keep your little butterflies and super hero’s close by if you take them out and make sure they know not to go up to just any random door. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span>God bless you all, thank you for your continued support &amp; keep passing the word!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br /></div>~Ty~Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-936453861149204862011-10-07T20:25:00.001-04:002011-10-07T20:25:53.314-04:00The 13th Floor: Sexual Abuse Video<br /><div class="MsoNormal">A dear friend and Repackaged Goods supporter posted this link of this amazing poet on our Facebook page this week. Realizing that all of our followers are not on Facebook (<i>gasp</i>)..or you were unaware we had one (you can “like” us <a href="http://www.facebook.com/RepackagedGoods">here</a>&nbsp;if you haven't already) and coupled with the fact it was so powerful, I had to re-post it here.&nbsp; It took my breath away and moved me as it says a lot of things that I’ve said..and say daily about Christians and sexual assault recovery. This is truly powerful! Unfortunately&nbsp;it wouldn't embed correctly to post it, but you can view it by click below.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">There really isn’t much else for me to say about this video..except it’s true, it’s powerful &amp; I pray you share this resource on. &nbsp;Have a great holiday weekend, thanks for your continued support! God bless!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">~Ty~</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.vimeo.com/29989567">13th Floor: Sexual Abuse Video</a></div><br /><br />Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-2852489782517342172011-09-19T09:29:00.001-04:002011-09-19T09:29:00.101-04:00Steps of Recovery Should Be Immediate Action - For Parents/Caretakers<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <o:Words>365</o:Words> <o:Characters>2084</o:Characters> <o:Company>Full Sail University</o:Company> <o:Lines>17</o:Lines> <o:Paragraphs>4</o:Paragraphs> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>2559</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:Version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <br /><div class="MsoNormal">A few weeks ago I was put into a uncomfortable situation. As a mandated reporter, I’m by law required to report what appears to be abuse against children, elderly or incapacitated individuals. I was put into a situation where a question posed to a group (that I have the pleasure of being affiliated with!) of cyber friends had the appearance of abuse taking place against a child. (not at the hands of the person posing the question)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Later on after the fiasco was over, a thought occurred to me yet again regarding children and recovery. We discussed back in July the signs of children being abused, but we didn’t really discuss what to do if they did. Here’s a few thoughts:</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><ul><li><i><b><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p>Calmly ask open ended questions </b></i>– Try to get all the information but don’t press them or they may clam up on you. Keep in mind that some molesters and rapist threaten their victims not to say anything.</li><li><b><i>Ask for help</i></b> – Most areas have sexual assault crisis lines. In these cases you will able to get someone on the phone 24/7 that will be able to give you advice on the next steps and may be able to accompany you to the emergency room examination. Check out <a href="http://www.rainn.org/">RAINN’s website</a> for either their 24hr hotline or find out the number to your local crisis center.</li><li><b><i>Request an immediate Dr. appt or ER visit </i></b>– Your child may be given an exam for evidence. A professional should be able to tell if some type of assault and/or trauma to private areas have taken place. If your child reports an assault just happened, do not clean them up, take them straight to the ER.</li><li><b><i>Make A Decision</i></b> – Make the tough calls of how changes must be made to prevent further abuse. I.e.: To prosecute or not to prosecute, changing of childcare providers and etc.</li><li><b><i>Take care of the emotional needs -&nbsp;</i></b>Talk to your child about the situation but don’t press them for details. Assure them that it’s not their fault and they are safe.</li><li><b><i>Find an outlet</i></b> – An absolute must! Find or continue a positive activity that channels the anger and energy. Music and/or dance classes, sports, and etc.</li><li><b><i>Take care of you!</i></b> Remember that once you’ve done all of these above, you’ve done your part. It’s not your fault either! Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to change the tragedy, but we can change the outlook of the future and keep a positive attitude in spite of it. Take a deep breath and pray for wisdom, and peace for all of you. Counseling and a stable support system for you too is also a great idea.</li></ul><br /><div class="MsoNormal">&nbsp;Keep smiling, shining and thriving!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">~Ty~</div><!--EndFragment-->Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-7084332694086344332011-09-17T12:51:00.000-04:002011-09-17T12:51:30.476-04:00Disappeared? Temporarily, Yes..Forgotten/Quit – NEVER!!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:DocumentProperties> <o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:Revision>0</o:Revision> <o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:Pages>1</o:Pages> <o:Words>243</o:Words> <o:Characters>1389</o:Characters> <o:Company>Full Sail University</o:Company> <o:Lines>11</o:Lines> <o:Paragraphs>2</o:Paragraphs> <o:CharactersWithSpaces>1705</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:Version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <br /><div class="MsoNormal">I feel like I must apologize for my disappearance, as it has weighed so heavy on my heart. If you’ve been connecting with us on Facebook, I’ve briefly explained. While advocacy is my baby, my 9-5 (aka Uncle Sam actually! lol) pays the bills, and with a very busy and trying work season, a now very active baby, a super chaotic schedule and some health issues, it’s been tough trying to find out a balance and stay sane all without stressing myself out.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">With that being said, I’m still looking for guest writers and an assistant or partner with this organization. If you are interested, please let me know. In the meantime, please follow us on <a href="http://www.twitter.com/RepackagedGoods">Twitter</a> and connect with us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/RepackagedGoods">Facebook</a>. I’m still new to Twitter and trying to get the hang of it and we need more “likes” on Facebook so please support us there as well! Your friends will in turn see your new connections and of course you never know if they might find Repackaged Goods beneficial to them.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Please know that I have been working on some new things. We were recently blessed to be an online exhibitor for the National Sexual Assault conference. Due to this being the busy season at my job and coming off of maternity leave, I wasn’t fortunate enough to take time off of work to attend, but prayfully next year. You can see our exhibit as well as others <a href="http://www.nsvrc.org/projects/virtual-exhibit">here</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>I’m always open to topic ideas and want your feedback. Please don’t hesitate to leave a comment or shoot me a note and let me know what you thoughts and/or ideas.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Well…now that I got that burden off my heart…back to work I go. I pray all is well with each and every one of you! Keep spreading the word, thanks for your support and prayers and most importantly KEEP SMILING AND THRIVING!!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">~Ty~</div><!--EndFragment-->Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-87237816285383226572011-07-18T17:36:00.000-04:002011-07-18T17:36:37.829-04:00"Lord I Need Your Help!!"<div>If you have begun walking out your healing process, you know that there are many dark days and the pain may seem to be unbearable. It may seem like you are all alone and no one, not even God understands your pain, because if he did, why would you be going through this right? Wrong! He knows your pain and he hates that you are even in pain. (Check out John 16..vs 33 specifically, but read the whole chapter if you have the time)</div><div> <p class="MsoNormal">In this world while the enemy roams the Earth, everyday is not going to be a sunshiny day. Unfortunately tragedies happen everyday. As sure as we have breath, we know that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy EVERTHING. If he can break your mind, you’ve lost the fight.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So I come to encourage you today. If you haven’t yet begun walking out your healing, start today by asking God to heal you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>If you’ve already started and still have some rough days, call out to God. Ask him to come through and heal those dark places in your heart that only He can heal. I’m here to tell you, nothing but the love of God can fill that void. Not alcohol, not drugs, not another woman/man, not money and not even the love of another person.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Interestingly enough, I was watching Joel Osteen yesterday and one thing he mentioned which sounds so simple, is to just ask God to help us. We may do it after the fact, but why not wake up with the prayer everyday asking God in advance to help us heal our pain. He promised in his Word (Matthew 7:7-8 if you’re not familiar with it) that He WILL do it. If you ask him to heal you, He will. I’m absolute living proof.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It’s just that simple, but it will not happen overnight. Just like anything, it’s a process.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’m going to leave you with this video which was the inspiration for this blog today. Coming out of a really rough season in my life a while back, I watched this video, and it moved me to tears. It reminded me that we ALL have moments regardless of our walk with Christ and even those who hold positions in churches have times where they struggle with losing faith. Since no living being is pain free at some point, we all may struggle. But don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are going to hell or are any less of a Christian because you have a tough time with your faith while trying to heal. That simply is not true. The Bible tells us not to lose faith and I can’t help but think it wouldn’t say not to if unless that meant we may have to deal with the struggle of it at times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I once heard someone say that God made us emotional beings. So we have feelings, and those feelings aren’t always the problem, it’s what we do with those feelings. So if you are struggling in your faith, don’t say there. Trust God he will see you through this and He will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Call him back on His promises of restoration and living an abundant life. Double dog dare him to heal you and watch what happens. Just remember it is a process and do your part too. Stay encouraged my brothers and sisters! Joy is almost there..smile your way to your miracle!! Much love to you and God bless!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">“<i>In your presence by myself, its me and you Lord and no one else. I don’t have to say a whole lot of things, you already know…but I need your help”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>- Deitrick Haddon <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">(</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Deitrick if you ever read this, I can't thank you enough for your ministry. We keep you, your family &amp; your ministry in our prayers! God bless you &amp; keep it coming!!) </span></span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i><br /></i></p></div><iframe width="480" height="295" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZgY_IzEaiAk?fs=1" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-83794952809642697522011-07-06T07:47:00.000-04:002011-07-06T07:47:54.084-04:00Masters of Manipulation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><!--StartFragment--> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">I probably like many were horrified when the accusations<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>of Bishop Eddie Long came forth. I looked at the face of the first accuser and my heart sank. *Let me go ahead and warn you know that this post is not about if <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span>I believe Bishop Long is guilty or not. While I certainly have my own opinion, it is not my place to judge him.* What I will say from an advocate stand point, what he is accused of happens every single day and from what I read the accusers said, are exactly such of those that has happened to vulnerable young people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>From a personal and Christian standpoint, I was disappointed in Bishop Long. Without saying he was guilty or not, it was the perfect opportunity to address sexual assault and promote healing as it isn’t talked about nearly enough in faith based organizations, especially in the African-American community. I’m sure many scars became very sore the day this accusation came to light.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>I know that I haven’t had much peace or slept well since this came out. Again, this is nothing to do with rather he’s guilty or not..but more of what he is accused of, which is being a master of manipulation.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">There is a form of sexual assault that is not necessarily what we typically think of when we hear the term. Manipulation and coercion to make someone comply with their advantage, is also a form of sexual assault, as truly it is not consentual. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span>When speaking to my husband about this last night, he likened it to guerrilla warfare. In this type of warfare, they are being strong-armed due to the advantage of having more resources. A master of manipulation will easily use their advantage over what they have, rather it be money or other areas to make the individual feel like they have what the person needs, so it’s a trade off. Basically you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours as a concept. When it is brought into this form to someone who is not mature enough to know what is going on, it is a form of sexual assault.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">There are predators out there watching and waiting on people (young boys and girls especially) They figure out what the deficiencies are in these impressionable individuals, make a cover as to help them in that area, and in turn use it to their advantage to meet their desires. These monsters whom I call masters of manipulation, are highly intelligent. They have a way of making the individual feel as if their survival depends solely on the loyalty to them, which in turns forces the individual to comply with their own selfish desires.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">To people who have not had any run ins with a master of manipulation, this probably doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. It’s easy to think, “Why not say no? How do you allow yourself to be put in a situation that you don’t want to be in?” There is an incredible episode of Criminal Minds (Profiler Profiled on Season 2) that answers that question and details this very accurately and candid. In the episode, Special Agent Derrick Morgan (played by Shemar Moore) is accused of murder and begs his team to not dig too much into his past because he holds a very painful secret. By the end of the episode, he finally reveals his secret and it in turn it helps someone else. . If you haven’t already done so, please watch it before you leave this page. You might even want to check it out before you continue. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Disclaimer</b> I do not endorse pirating and since I love and support Criminal Minds, I will encourage you to please go purchase the entire episode off of iTunes, or buy the DVD’s if it is something you think may interest you. I hate the clip is so long, but it does entail the two parts of this story that will help make what I’m saying make sense.&nbsp;</div><!--EndFragment--> <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/3iHutH4u5DI/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3iHutH4u5DI&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3iHutH4u5DI&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><br /><br /><!--StartFragment--> <br /><div class="MsoNormal">On a personal note, this particular blog today is very hard for me. There is one part of my testimony where I much like Special Agent Morgan kept tightly wrapped. To be truthful, I’ve felt like the biggest hypocrite for quite sometime because this is the one that does happen quite often and in my continued silence I’m limited in how I can help others. So I’ll start off by apologizing…but I have had years of dealing with a master manipulation.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">In high school I was a great kid overall. I stayed out of trouble and was pretty much into band, reading and other non-popular things. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Wingdings;">:-)</span>However, I unfortunately despite my wonderful mother’s efforts, I had an unstable home. My biological father was out of the picture due to bad choices of his own, and my stepfather had issues of his own so his support and fatherly role was limited and very sporadic. I had a loving and supportive mother, but those of you with a father (or without one and see the impact) knows that there is nothing like a father’s love for his daughter. I believe God’s desire for it to be two parents are because two different types of love is needed from each parent, and the deficiency from either one (regardless of how strong the remaining one is) is tough. Anyhow, if you read my previous testimony, you know by the time I was in high school I was already a survivor of childhood sexual assault. While I believe I was well adjusted, there was obviously a part of me who was longing for a father figure and very confused from what I had already been through for many years.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">There just happened to be a master manipulation in the wings waiting and watching by the middle of my ninth grade year. At first he was just my confidant. Someone I could vent to about my stepfather or how frustrated I was with school, or how nervous I was about making something of my life. I even felt comfortable enough to share my experience of what happened to me in my childhood because coincidentally he knew the attacker. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">He became a father figure to me. He made sure I never went without, I was around his wonderful family (which I sincerely loved dearly and is the majority of why I withheld this up until now), he promised to help me pay for college, but just like Agent Morgan said in the clip, it wasn’t for free. This went on all through high school but fortunately for me, once I made the decision to go off to the Marines (running from my issues of course) the frequency of his request of molestation declined and I believed at that point he picked his next target whom I began to see had the same “privileges” that I had once had. I can’t of course confirm this unless she comes forward, this is just speculation of course (If you’re reading, I’m here if you ever want to talk). Of course once I went off to the Marines in 2001, I didn’t contact him nearly as much and by 2007 my feelings of loyalty conflicted everything within me. I could no longer live a lie with my husband and felt uncomfortable about his advantages and “claim” to me. Terrified of my husband both finding out the real deal (as he always suspected something wasn’t right) and of what I might be forced to do if I saw him, I broke off<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>direct communication with him and haven’t spoken to him since.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">See, he had a way of making me feel like I owed him for helping me find my “out” and keeping me focused. He made me feel like it was all because of him that I knew what a real family was supposed to be like. While I can credit him for showing me things about family and how life could be, I despise his actions and how he hurt and confused the scared little girl in me in the process. The last few years of all this going on, I had a boyfriend and a very innocent relationship. I felt as long as the master of manipulation was is in my life, I would always be forced to live a lie and to answer questions I didn’t want to if I tried to cut him out of my life. So I did the next best thing…sabotage the relationship between my high school sweetheart and myself. I wanted no ties from my hometown area because I didn’t want to run into him, didn’t want to be associated with him or be forced to see him.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">It wasn’t until about 2009 that my husband finally asked me to cut the crap (not quite that nicely! Lol) and tell him what the real deal was between myself and my master of manipulation. He didn’t really understand it at the time, but helped me see that I didn’t owe him anything. If he wanted to help me, he just would have helped me without expecting anything in return. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span>Especially being that young. A year later, I ran across the Criminal Minds episode I posted and it moved me into hysterical tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>Everything he said, I had in my own way said, but somehow watching the episode made it hit home to us both of why I suffered in silence for so long and had some strange sense of loyalty. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">So in closing, I want to encourage you to watch your loved ones. Adults that seem to solely have interest in a child, especially into their relationships (but no real adult relationship with you) and seem to attach themselves too much, just might be a master of manipulation in waiting. I also want to encourage survivors of masters of manipulation to realize that it is not their fault. You don’t owe them anything. not an explanation, your loyalty or not even a thank you. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Lastly, please don’t end up like me. I cry everyday thinking of the young girls this man had access too and because I said nothing, it more than likely continued. So I sincerely apologize to any young woman who went through this after me. I apologize to the family for being in the middle of this. I apologize really to everyone for not being truthful. I apologize to my Mother who I had many arguments over the relationship…I’m sincerely sorry to all of those affected by this. But the cat is out of the bag. Please be careful and watch your loved ones, especially those who are vulnerable. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span>I pray this helped you, I know I sure do feel better getting rid of this dead weight in my life! Have a blessed one and remember healing is a process…start walking in yours right now! </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div>Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-87703020659916177122011-06-24T12:31:00.000-04:002011-06-24T12:31:45.453-04:00Signs Of Childhood Sexual Assault & Why Discussion Is Absolutely Necessary<!--StartFragment--> <br /><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Last week while discussing Repackaged Goods with my best friend (thanks, love you girl!), we got into the discussion of children victims and she forwarded me an article she had just read in the paper where two 11 year old children forced a 5 and a 7 year old to do disturbing things to each other and had caught the images on an cell phone.&nbsp; My first thought instantly was that these 11 year old children are more than likely sexual assault victims themselves and are forcing these poor babies to act out things they themselves have been forced to do.&nbsp; Now sure there is a great chance they may have seen this kind of behavior in their own home with consenting adults, but because of the statistics of what we know, we can’t rule that theory out. &nbsp;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">In a child’s mind, reoccurring sexual assault becomes normal. While that may sound odd, it can be such a way of life, they don’t know how process it other than deal with it. That could unfortunately mean that they unknowingly (in some cases) force that behavior on other children, thinking that surely they are familiar with the behavior also. Don’t get me wrong, after a certain age you can not make excuses for children and perhaps these 11 year old kids were old enough to know better, but it is too early to know just yet. I’m curious to see if these details will ever come out, as it could be a great eye opener for many parents to learn these sings and not write them off so quickly.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My point in this post is that they are signs. Kids don’t always tell, mostly out of fear that they either won’t be believed or that their attacker would harm them even more. There was a great episode of Criminal Minds (which is one of my absolute favorite TV shows); Seven Seconds where there is a young girl went missing. Agent Morgan (played by </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Shemar</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> Moore) instantly knew based on what he saw in the child’s room that she was being sexually assaulted by someone as he saw several signs that pointed to that unfortunate tragedy.&nbsp; The last time I saw this episode, it moved me to tears because most parents do not know what signs to look for. I’ve put it below here as the first step to thriving recovery is education and of course prevention is absolutely key. They may write it off for whatever reason, a recent move, a break-up, a bad grade..but I encourage parents to investigate and have the much needed discussion just in case especially if they show more than one of the below signs.&nbsp;</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Cambria;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Even if you don’t have children, pass them to someone you know…you just may save a life; each one, teach o</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">ne</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">!</span></span></div><!--StartFragment--><!--EndFragment--> <div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; A Few Child Abuse Statistics: </span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Offenders who molest girls will have an average of 50 victims, while offenders who molest boys will average 150 victims. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Thirty-eight percent are committed by a close relative. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Child sexual abuse is rarely a one-time event. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Children rarely lie about sexual abuse. In fact, in all sexual assault cases reported to police only 2% are false reports <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Approximately 70% of adolescents who experience sexual abuse will not tell a parent. Less than 10% of all sexual assault is reported to law enforcement <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">Source: <span style="color: #2c438a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://www.RCASA.org/">www.RCASA.org</a></span> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><b>&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;Signs of Possible Child Abuse: </b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11pt;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Physical Signs </span></u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Difficulty walking or sitting <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Bloody, torn, or stained underclothes <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Bleeding, bruises, or swelling in genital area <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Pain, itching, or burning in genital area <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Frequent urinary or yeast infections <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Sexually Transmitted Infections, especially if under 14 years old <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Pregnancy, especially if under 14 years old <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11pt;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Behavioral Signs </span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Reports sexual abuse <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Inappropriate sexual knowledge <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Inappropriate sexual behavior <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Nightmares or bed-wetting <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Large weight changes/major changes in appetite <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Suicide attempts or self-harming, especially in adolescents <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Shrinks away or seems threatened by physical contact <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Runs away <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Overly protective and concerned for siblings, assumes a caretaker role <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or Rape Trauma Syndrome symptoms <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11pt;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Common Reactions </span></u></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Withdrawal <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Depression <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Sleeping &amp; eating disorders <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Self-mutilation <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Phobias <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Psychosomatic symptoms (stomachaches, headaches) <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• School problems (absences, drops in grades) <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Poor hygiene/excessive bathing <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Anxiety <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Guilt <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• Regressive behaviors - thumb-sucking, etc. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><span style="color: #2c438a; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Source:&nbsp;<a href="http://www.RAINN.org/">www.RAINN.org</a></span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><!--EndFragment-->Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-70906998659701400682011-06-15T21:28:00.000-04:002011-06-15T21:28:37.647-04:00Man Down?!?!<iframe width="480" height="295" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/sEhy-RXkNo0?fs=1" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe> <div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I’m not an huge R&amp;B fan and I truly don’t listen to the radio, so when I saw something on the news about Rihanna’s new violent and controversial video, I didn’t have a clue of what they were talking about. I finally got a chance to sit down and watch it on my commute home yesterday and in my mind, this kind of video is pointless without the appropriate dialog of why this video is oddly powerful. If you haven’t watched it, I will first ask you to go check it out before you continue reading. I’ve embedded it above for you. Come back to me now..I’ll be waiting! (lol)<div> <p class="MsoNormal">Alright..now what did you think? Did you happen to venture to all the comments below the video? </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>*Before I even get started. let me say that I’m not in the least bit an advocate for violence. *</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>In case you had any questions about the actions in the video, to my understanding, she started getting a little flirty and close with a man in a club but pushed him off before it got too heated. He follows her, raped her in an alley and she later shoots him in the head. I completely agree with the many people who view this as a violent video and since the actual “official” video differs from the original one I saw, I’m glad it was toned down some at least. Well..sorta, but that’s beside the point.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6600;">#1)</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6600;"> </span>if you ventured down to the comments on the actual YouTube page, you’ll see a few of those ignorant people who made statements such as “that’s what she gets for being an tease”. First of all, nothing in this world makes it ok for any individual, man or woman to force themselves on another person. Regardless of if they were a tease or ran outside in 12 circles completely naked with socks and a headband, there is no excuse for you to think they deserve to delight themselves without your consent.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF6600;">#2)</span></b> I do find the anger she has to shoot “the man down” quite interesting. Most sexual assault victims/survivors <b>are</b> angry. Why? As I frequently tell people, sexual assault is worse than murder in my opinion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Murder is of course senseless, but you are now gone and don’t deal with the after effects of someone else’s actions toward you. But sexual assault forever kills the person that you were. You are forced to look at life and people a lot differently. You are forced to forever ask why, possibly have bouts of depression and/or anxiety. For most, surviving sexual assault is mental torment that often turns into some type of self-destructive behavior.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Thinking about all of that, it almost only makes sense to want to murder your attacker. In light of the video, actress, thriving survivor and advocacy spokesperson Gabrielle Union states that she tried to shoot her attacker. {<a href="http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20500957,00.html">http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20500957,00.html</a>} The anger in this is only natural. While I don’t by any means condone anyone going back and shooting their attacker, I totally understand. In the video (of course my speculation for the reasoning), he changed her world as she knew it, so in her mind, since she as she knew herself no longer exists, he “deserved” it. After all, doesn’t it appear that’s what he thought? You teased me so you “deserved” it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">But the flip side of why I’m addressing this is: it simply takes more energy to be forever angry than it does to forgive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>You will never ever catch me in a unity circle singing “kumbya” with either of my attackers. But if I were to see them to this day (which one I have seen a few times) I can look at them and hold my head up. Not want to shoot them, not even want to kick ‘em in the kneecaps. Why? Firstly revenge is not mine. Their actions are dead wrong, that is between them and God. God does not condemn them for eternity for their actions, so neither will I. That doesn’t mean I’d stay in a room alone with them or give them a hug, but I wouldn’t scratch their eyeballs out either.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The other reason I’m saying this is because you can’t heal unless you forgive. If you keep tugging and messing with a wound, it isn’t ever going to heal properly. If you just realize that yes it sucks, and it’s more than likely going to scar, but you take care of it..put some ointment on it , give it a little TLC and “leave it be”, it <b>WILL</b> eventually heal. Our emotional scars are no different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Realizing that just burying it will never get you past it permanently. You must deal with it, .but you got to get over the fact that you got the wound in the first place. The only way you can do that is to forgive the person who violated you. Not be friends with them, not say their actions are acceptable, but forgive them and move on for <b>YOUR</b> good. Holding on to the pain from someone else’s actions only makes them retain the power, so take it back, forgive them and start your healing process to become an thriving survivor!!</p></div><div><br /></div></div>Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-54720944058122202492011-05-03T07:31:00.000-04:002011-05-03T07:31:50.832-04:00You Didn’t “Allow” It “Again”….Temporarily Paralysis Could Possibly Be The Blame For Repeats<!--StartFragment--> <br /><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-size: 13pt;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unfortunately it is quite common for victims to be repeat survivors. I found this article quite interesting, because in dealing with my own healing a few years ago, I asked my husband why didn’t I fight my attacker (the recruiter) as an adult? I’ve been through this before! I don’t think he truly understood the entire magnitude of what he was saying and how it affected me at the time, but he simply said “you didn’t fight because you went back to being a 5 year old little girl” (which is the age of my first attack. See my story for more info) <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-size: 13pt;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That simple statement freed me so much, because it is so easy to beat yourself up for what you didn’t do although we all know we have very little control of what happens doing these attacks. It’s a tad lengthy, but hopefully this will help usher along the healing process for you or someone you know. I ran across this article from the RAINN Facebook page about a year ago and copied and pasted it, but didn’t know why I had the impulse to do so. (Look at God!) It was (obviously) confirmation to that simple statement and I’m thankful for the writers and the studies. Blessings to you and make sure you smile today, it takes more energy &amp; creates more wrinkles to frown!</span></i><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">The original poster pulled it from&nbsp;"Resurrection After Rape" by Matt Atkinson, LCSW (http://www.resurrectionafterrape.org/)&nbsp;<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">Freezing and paralysis during rape&nbsp;“I just laid there and took it!” <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">At first, few rape victims can tolerate alternate explanations for their rapes. For example, you may habitually tell yourself “I should have fought more,” without considering the possibility that you might have been harmed even worse had you done so. Because rape is about power and control, a rapist will use a level of aggression that exceeds any resistance in order to maintain that control. Furthermore, during a traumatic assault the body’s sympathetic nervous system takes over, instinctively regulating your behaviors for the sake of survival. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">That means your conscious mind stops choosing what to do, and your physical systems grab control, producing one of three basic responses: fight, flee, or freeze. All three instincts have helpful and harmful aspects about them; they may either increase or decrease your safety. But contrary to what we see in movies and what we read in booklets promoted by the self-defense industry, the “fight instinct” is actually rather rare in both men and women. By far the most common instinct is the “freeze instinct,” in which the body becomes very still, rigid, and silent. This is called “tonic immobility,” and is a simple survival behavior. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">During rape, temporary paralysis is very common (it occurs in up to 88% of rape victims during the assault, according to studies) and entirely normal, and probably even quite healthy. (<i>source: Heidt, J. M., Marx, B. P., &amp; Forsyth, J. P. (2005). Tonic immobility and childhood sexual abuse: Evaluating the sequela of rape-induced paralysis. Behaviour Research and Therapy,43,1157–1171.</i>) However, until someone explains to a survivor that this instinct is normal and appropriate, she will often spend years criticizing herself (“What’s the matter with me? I just laid there! I’m such a fool! Why didn’t I fight, or at least scream?”), and even lawyers and juries can be misled into lenience toward rapists whose victims are inaccurately described as “passive.” This behavior is not “passive;” it is a biologically-driven form of resistance! But this fact is so rarely understood that rape victims often multiply their own sense of guilt and shame because of the freeze instinct.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">One study even found that the link between this “temporary paralysis” during rape and later feelings of guilt and self-blame are directly related to increased depression, anxiety, and PTSD later. This is why it is so crucial that rape survivors receive basic education about the body’s adaptations to trauma, so that you can understand and accept these behaviors as normal, rather than as failure. “This is a biologically hard-wired response that just kicks in, typically when there's extreme fear coupled with physical restraint,” states one study of victims’ temporary paralysis during rape. Jennifer Heidt, commenting on a study she helped organize, wrote, “if we can help to show them [in therapy] that they weren't letting this happen to themselves, that this is an unlearned response, that they were incapable of changing it, that they were incapable of fighting back, then we can help deal with that guilt.” <i>(source: Finn, Robert. “Involuntary paralysis common during rape - Legal and TX Implications.” OB/GYN News, Jan. 15, 2003. http://findarticles.com/p/articles...) </i><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">It can also be difficult to separate the issues of “compliance” with “consent.” In most rapes where the victim is conscious, there is some degree of forced compliance with the rapist, simply as a reasonable way to protect herself from further harm. Although this is a very normal form of self-preservation, it can also produce one hell of a stuck point afterward:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">&nbsp;• “The fact that I stopped struggling when he ordered me to means I am guilty of permitting the rape.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• “I removed my underpants when he told me to. That means I participated or led him on about sex.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• “I kept quiet and never screamed. Does that mean I wasn’t really raped?”• “My whole body froze and I couldn’t move.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• “They always say ‘no means no.’ But I never said the word ‘no’ because I was paralyzed with fear.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">• “I can’t remember how I got into the closet [where the rape happened]…If I put myself there, it must mean I helped him rape me.”&nbsp;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">When a person is mugged, they instinctively freeze and will typically say to the attacker, “Take whatever you want.” They will compliantly hand over wallets, purses, watches, anything demanded of them, in a desperate, terrified hope that the assault will end without further injury or death. And nobody questions this cooperation; police even advise it as the correct course of action. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">People will support you and assure you that you did the right thing. Nobody blames you for carrying money by saying, well, didn’t you realize that would only lead a robber on?” Nobody would blame you for all the times you willingly spent money by implying that this means you “have a history of giving it away, so aren’t you just ‘crying robbery’ now?” Nobody would claim that the incident was probably just a cash transaction that “got out of hand” or you regretted later. Yet when the violent assault becomes sexual, many people implausibly lose all their insights about the importance of cooperation to reduce harm.&nbsp;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">Suddenly, the guilty questions begin: “Why didn’t I fight back? What if I had resisted more? Why did I stay quiet? Why did I freeze? Why did I take off something I wore when he ordered me to?” These stuck points exist because of the gap between what we want to believe (“I would never ‘let’ anyone rape me”) and what the rape itself seems to prove (“I must have failed to prevent rape. Or worse yet, I must have permitted it!”). It may seem like an unusual statement, but analyzing your stuck points is really a form of forgiving yourself for whatever actions you had to do to survive, and for whatever it’s taken to cope since, and for whatever misguided self-blame you have felt in spite of the facts. When Shannon* wrote the words “I’m sorry, little girl” in her story, it was written after she had finished writing and reading it aloud, and she had recognized the many forms of resistance she had used. The comment was her apology to herself for spending the next three years crucifying herself. She discovered during her “stuck point” work that she was neither weak nor willing, and that her younger self had never deserved the heaps of blame and guilt she had carried.&nbsp;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">*Shannon is an author who contributed journals to the book "Resurrection After Rape."*</span></div><!--EndFragment-->Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-67109717116419297992011-04-29T19:31:00.000-04:002011-04-29T19:31:35.598-04:00Survivor Story #4 - Molestation Survivor From An Anonymous Female<!--StartFragment--> <br /><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><i>Several stressful projects at work as well as getting ill has slowed my momentum for the month, but it's not stopping me!&nbsp;</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><i><br /></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><i>Here is survivor story #4 is also of a woman who is determined that being an victim of sexual assault will not stop her. Like 44% of sexual assault survivors, (Rainn.org) this survivor was attacked as an child, under 18. Cases of step parents and siblings unfortunately are not uncommon as most attacker's attack those that they know and have other pre-existing relationships with. Sexual assault is not limited just to the physical act of sex itself. While molestation may not be as sensitive as an rape, but it IS still sexual assault and just as devastating as rape. The victim is left feeling powerless, violated and confused, just as those who have been raped. In this survivor story, we have a case of molestation who has now turned her experiences into empowering other friends who've had similar experiences.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">When I was about 7, my mother married her 2nd husband. He had 3 other children. His oldest was a son, “K”, he adopted with his first wife (Her child with another man). Shortly after the marriage, it became apparent that my new Step-dad’s 3 other kids had difficult lives and all of them had different emotional, behavioral and adjustment issues. “K” was the worst. One day while my mom was still pregnant, my step-dad’s ex drove up and literally dropped “K” off in our driveway with a bag of clothes and said she didn’t want him anymore, he was our problem now. I was about 7 and he was 12 or so.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">It started little by little. He’d be in my room alone and make comments to me. Then he started trying to show me himself naked. The touching started soon after. I don’t know why I didn’t tell. I think he made a point to twist it like I was asking him or inviting him to do these things so if I told I’d get in trouble too. He used to sneak into my room at night after we were sent to bed. He said it was a game. I was a princess and he needed to take care of me. He was really angry and mean but as long as we played this game he treated me pretty good. He would rub up against me inappropriately. He seemed to like to have me touch him. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">He wanted to have sex with me but the excuse I used was that I might get pregnant. It didn’t matter that I was 7/8 years old and the chance of that was low, I told him anyway and he believed it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span>Around the time I turned 9 we moved into a house where several other family members lived too and the nightly visits stopped because he could no longer do it without being discovered. Shortly after that move his behavior got so bad that he was pretty much shipped back to his mother’s house with the message that she could take him or send him to a home for troubled kids. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">I avoided him as much as possible for years. He never spent another night in the same house as me. He’s been in several debilitating accidents and had the decency to not speak to me. Maybe his misfortunes over the years were karma catching up to him. Maybe he has repented to God…I don’t know and I don’t care.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: &quot;Lucida Grande&quot;;">I think my healing is still a process. I am still working on the whole- this WAS all my fault feelings...but I am a happy person and I have been able to console and uplift a few friends who have confided to me that they have this too. Knowledge is power. :)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><!--EndFragment-->Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-91588627467198991832011-04-15T16:47:00.000-04:002011-04-15T16:47:49.324-04:00"Um…so how is this inspiring and why are you doing this again?"<!--StartFragment--> <br /><div class="MsoNormal">I started to post one of the last two stories I have left..but I figured people would probably wonder more of why I’m doing this and where all the inspiration of hearing these stories are supposed to come from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>My personal thoughts are not and will not be the only extent to my ministry (obviously!) But I guess it’s worth it to explain a little bit more about the passion that drives this ministry so you get the point of all this.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">If you’ve been following this blog, you know I am obviously a survivor of sexual assault.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>I spent years of depression, guilt, and shame from my years of experience, not to mention the years of self-destructive behavior that furthered those feelings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>It wasn’t that it was a lack of a support system of why I didn’t talk to anyone about my issues. I just felt like no one would understand. I always felt different..as if I was so separate from everyone else that the only people who drew to me either came with the intentions to hurt me or could only understand because they’ve been through a ton of issues themselves. I felt as if everybody knew I was a walking piece of a damaged thing…not even worthy of being a good. No matter how fit I was, pretty someone told me I was, how many accolades I made musically, it didn’t change my feelings of being damaged Thing.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">For 16 years, that was my every day. While I still didn’t get professional help, getting married to my husband when I was 20, forced me to deal with my feelings. I couldn’t push myself to be the woman I felt he deserved and thought he had. If you’ve ever been married (or are married) and have an healthy and loving marriage, you know that your spouse has a way of loving you back to health from an emotionally vulnerable state and not take advantage of the situation (for once). I didn’t know how to accept that….but for the first time I really began to be honest with myself and deal with some things and allowed my husband to hold my hand and walk me through it. It was a true blessing..but the ministry really didn’t be birthed until years later. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Three years later, I became actively involved with sexual assault advocacy and crisis response through a local organization.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>I loved it! Being able to help others in there most critical time made me feel like finally, “yes, God I finally got why I was put through all this”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>I labored in love and jumped at any &amp; every opportunity I could to help others for the next two years. (And since I know you wondering, yes I still volunteer with them!)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">I’d dedicated my life to advocacy and because of my transparency with it, people would come up to me and tell me their story and some had never shared it with anyone else. I in essence was ministering to those people although I didn’t understand how I had the strength (or so I thought), ordination, resources or anything else! Within the last year, God would even show me faces of sexual assault victims. Some of them I knew personally, some I didn’t. Sometimes I even saw the attacker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>I asked God why? Why are you showing me this? How exactly am I supposed to use this?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Then at 26 I became physically pregnant with my first child and felt a strong urgency that I was also expecting spiritually. Shortly after, I had a tough crisis response call (I can never go into the details, please don’t ask!) and ended up in tears all night. Not necessarily because of the call..I was use to that. But because I could not ask the caller if I can pray with them or let them know that I would be praying for them. (due to organization rules that I respect &amp; honor regardless of my personal beliefs) </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">I cannot knock the organization for that, I’m thankful that they help others regardless of their own personal beliefs. But as an Christian I know what its like to not know what to do with something so tragic like this. I was frustrated that I couldn’t share my faith to help them through their current situation. I began to do some research and realized that many sexual assault victims become atheist. and although I was disturbed by my findings, I could understand why. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">You have someone telling you, “oh it’s ok, you’ll get over it, it didn’t kill you.” or you feel violated and wonder if there is a God how could he allow this to happen to you and how could he love you. Or as in my case, I knew God was real. I went through too many other things to question his existence. But I did struggle with His power. I would cry and cry at the alter asking God to take my feelings of loneliness, depression, and suicidal thoughts away. I would go back up and “re-dedicate” my life up to Christ every so often because I thought surely Christians can’t have their life right if they are thinking about ending their life from the depression or putting themselves into unhealthy relationships. I would get prayer, be fine for a while…and then bam..back into the same dark hole. Surely, I can’t be a “real” Christian although I was praying, fasting, reading the Word and attending church. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">So this is what drives me to do this. I felt like people, Christians especially should not live dark days like I did because I now know from my few years of advocacy that I’m surely no where close to being alone in my experiences and previously feelings. Secondly, I was tired of watching people slapping band-aids on issues and not deal with why what caused some of the self-destructive behavior in the first place. So if I can help to prevent even one dark day for someone, everything I’ve gone through is worth it. I’ve realized that God doesn’t call the ordained, he ordains the called! In order to help people you have to walk into their shoes. Even most inventions we use everyday was created because someone painfully realized that they had a need for it, and had to go through a process (which we all know processes can be a pain in itself!) in order to see it through.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">So in short, the survivor stories are to show others that they are not alone. They are people who hurt just like them. They’ve also healed (or are healing) just like them too. It’s unfortunate that we all have to take this painful walk, but road trips are a lot easier to deal with when you have people in the car that share your enthusiasm to get to the destination..without whining about it every two minutes and offer to drive if you get sleepy! (insert chuckle here…ok, at least a smile…there ya go..thank you!!) I hope I may have clarified some things for you as a reader, especially for those of you who don’t know me personally. Thanks for your continued support &amp; God bless ya! ;-)</div><!--EndFragment-->Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-24922686925596137652011-04-12T07:45:00.000-04:002011-04-12T07:45:19.236-04:00Survivor Story 3 Robin Turner: My Testimony May Give Life To Others<!--StartFragment--> <br /><div class="MsoNormal"><i>Unfortunately victims of sexual assault sometimes have multiple cases of assault. Some of this is because molesters/rapist tend to watch their victims carefully..such as a lion watches and pounces on its prey. They tend to use the victims circumstances to their advantage are often masters of manipulation. </i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>This story is of a beautiful woman, Robin Turner, who I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know. The love and passion that she has for her family and Christ is astounding, and I’ll admit that sometimes to get to understand things of a person, you do have to really know their story. Since I do know her personally, I can say that she is a true testament of how a life of normalcy and love is possible after sexual assault. Robin, thank you so much for sharing. I’m quite proud of your walk and stand and I am grateful for your testimony!</i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I was 4, I had to start living with my grandmother because my mother could not take care of me (economically, and because she went to jail). As a result, I lived with my grandmother and her husband until I graduated high school. At age 7, my grandmother started going to business meetings leaving me home with her husband, Pie we used to call him. Apparently I couldn't say "Suga' Pie Honey Bunch", the name my grandmother would call him, so I shortened it for everyone, "Pie". Well Pie had another agenda for me. He talked to me, and played with me, and had me get on his lap and pretend I was riding a horse while holding on to something. I really didn't know what it was until later and it came to me as an epiphany. He was making me hold his manhood. Then it turned into him touching me, then it turned into him pulling up my shirt, then it turned into him pulling my pants down, then the molestation went into full rape.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">By the time I was 8, I was sexually active and didn't even know it. When my hymen broke, I thought he cut me and peed on me. It wasn't until I was 10 years old, in middle school on the bus with foul-mouthed high schoolers did the next epiphany come to me, "I was having sex." Shame and guilt overshadowed me, because for the past two years, "Don't tell anyone, you could get your Mama (my grandmother) in a lot of trouble," and "If you didn't have us, you would be living on the streets" was indoctrinated in my mind. I had three different opportunities to tell, and he was right there and shut me down quickly. So I said NOTHING while I continued to get raped when I came home from school or every opportunity he had while my grandmother was gone to fulfill the lusts in his heart. And I never said a word....<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Meanwhile, when after I was 13, my aunt lived next door to get away. I babysat her 4 kids for $1/hour. Not much money, but at least it got me away from Pie for a while, and one weeks pay was $45-50! I was always suspicious of her husband, but what do I know? Well he came home early and said, "why don't you stay a little longer?" I said, "I have to go home." He proceeded to pick me up, slam me on the bed, and go for my crotch. I've seen all of this before. He wasn't as smart as Pie, so I at least got to get out, but once again I didn't tell anyone. Every time I went to my aunt's house, I tried to stay awake and vigilante. Always on edge, and always near someone. That lasted until I was 16 and I never said a word....<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Meanwhile, when I was about 14, I was at my other grandmother's house and my dad was there. All that day, he asked about my mother and how she was doing, how were things going with me. Later that night, I was in the bed with my little brother with my favorite purple pajamas on. My dad was out drinking with his friends and came back drunk. I heard the door open. Because of my experiences, any change in the room (especially when I was sleep, instantly, I will wake up...still do). He came in the room, reached over my brother and began to touch my buttocks. "I'm not my mother", "Stop" I would scream, but no sound came out of my mouth. Eventually after the longest 10 minutes (it could have been shorter than that, but it felt like forever), he stopped and left, and I cried. The next morning, I watched him, and the look of shame and guilt was on his face, and for some reason he wanted to leave quickly to go home. "Maybe he knows what he did and he is just shameful?" I thought to myself, and I never said a word.....<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">By the time I'm a senior in high school, I'm still getting raped, but this time it's more violent because I'm trying to fight back, I make sure I position myself to go. College was my ticket out (not a gateway towards my dreams). I'm in Virginia Tech, after a guy gets me drunk to do whatever, I started to feel like my looks (the cute high-yellow girl as I was always called) was the reason for the negative attention I always got. My plan was to gain weight, and I would go in public looking like WHO DID IT AND WHY. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I get a call from my grandmother that my cousin, my aunt from next door, had been molested by her step-dad....the same one who molested me. As she is talking, I can't talk. I'm screaming, but no sound is coming out. "We don't know if she is telling the truth," she said. I knew she was telling the truth, but my words WOULD NOT formulate. I hung up still not having said anything. Two days later after feelings of guilt that I was the cause of this, I called back to tell everything. "Hey, ummmm" I started the conversation off with until I was interrupted, "Yeah, he confessed and is going to jail." She kept talking and all I could hear was blah blah blah blah. My thunder was stolen and I never said a word....<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My cousin came to my house a couple of years ago. And while my mother, kids and husband went to get some things, she stayed with me. She was telling me of her feelings and how she was PISSED at the world and how she feels her life is cursed. I tried to encourage her. Thinking I was going to connect with her that we share one molester, her step-dad, I said, "I know how you feel because I was molested...." "It was Pie," she interrupted. "He did it to you too?" I asked. Then she proceeded to tell my story that I never told her. When Pie was sick, a part of me was like, "I hope he dies," but the Christian girl in me was like, "I hope he get his heart right before he die." Finally he died, and after watching my cousin's oldest sister (she was adopted in the family) so mad, angry and frustrated, I thought she was mad because she knew what happened to her sister, my cousin who spoke up. As I talk to her (with intentions of "ministering to her" because she did live with her real father for a long time and she had to go to the foster care system because of something) I found out a horrid revelation. "He did it to you too." <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I confronted Pie, he tried to use manipulation on me to say that I'm no better than him because I used to "steal his quarters." Then he told me he was molested when he was a boy by his grandfather. Whether that is true or not, hurting people hurt people. But I was not going to be swayed by his old tactics. Manipulation is such a powerful tool that gives a brutal power to secrets. These secrets are trying to punch its way out to be exposed, but pushed down by manipulation via an 8 year old. Ignorance sponsors manipulation and finances his agenda like a special interest group finances a candidates campaign. That little girl didn't know, and felt like she didn't have any options. So she never said a word....until she realized that her testimony would give life to others, and she began talking and teaching. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I now have a daughter. And I she looks and acts just like me; very opinionated, smart, intelligent, outspoken. But I teach her to keep your voice, love your body, and let no one violate it...and I mean NO ONE. So my heart goes out to all of the girls who are at this second being molested, raped, manipulated, coerced into things that are harmful by others with their own agenda, and I let them know that they can tell someone. Tell and tell until someone believes you. And YOU MUST GET YOUR WORDS (whether they make sense or not) AND SAY IT!!</span></span></div><!--EndFragment-->Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-43806494314664273112011-04-10T20:07:00.001-04:002012-01-02T22:54:22.655-05:00Survivor Story #2 - Marital Rape Survivor From an Anonymous Female<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 13pt;"><i>Some stories are works of triumph in process. This is a story from an anonymous female who has been a victim of marital rape. It is believed in many cultures, that the wife’s body is her husbands. That is only partially true. The Bible clearly states in 1 Corinthians 7:4 that in a marriage the body belongs to each other mutually. Every one has different circumstances and what may not make total sense to us, but maybe someone else’s truth. I want to thank you in advance for reading and supporting and many thanks to the anonymous female for lending your story to help someone else. </i><b><i>Comments that can spark debate in order to educate are ok and will be left, at my discretion in regards to the feelings of the survivor. &nbsp;All malicious comments will be removed immediately.</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 13pt;"><o:p><br /></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 13pt;">Shortly after my husband and I got together, I noticed that I was blacking out and not remembering things when we went out. This had never happened to me before, and I didn't know what to think about it. We got married, and I always wondered why my husband didn't get upset that I got so intoxicated the few times we went out. I thought maybe he really just did love me for who I was. We had been married for three years when I notice a conspicuously placed video camera. I guess I didn't really want to think about what it meant. About six months later I noticed a weird tape in the VCR. I pushed play and was horrified. It was me on tape with my husband. The tape got worse and worse, and I vomited. Not only was I unconscious, but he had covered my head in most of the videos. They spanned from before we got married, until presently. He was raping me, sodomizing me, and doing the most awful things to me. I just wanted to die. How could someone who said they loved me do this to me? He went to a special therapist who said no porn to my husband. He couldn't ever handle this request. I told him that I wanted to know if had drugged me. He insisted that he hadn't. The therapist even said that I could have been having a reaction to drinking and Paxil. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 13pt;">I tried to kill myself several times, and went to a psychiatric hospital. The doctor who showed up to speak to me knew my husband. After the first day I lied to the doctor. I told him that I made the entire thing up for attention, and that I wanted to leave. I had no income, and no support. I wanted to leave, but I was so scared I would be alone forever. We seemed to slowly get past this. The only setbacks we had were him conniving anyway to look at porn. I also caught him with another copy of the tape. He swore it was the only copy left, and that he was only watching the parts where I was awake. Life went on, and I got pregnant again. Our baby died at 4 days old. My husband left me at the hospital the day my baby was dying, because he said he was too tired. The day I was released from the hospital I found out he surfed porn for 12 hours over that night. The only thing I could think about was having another baby. I knew I needed him to accomplish this, and had the desire to leave once I got pregnant. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 13pt;">After my baby was born I was so enthralled with him that I didn't even think much about my husband. I started slowly trusting him again, and started being intimate again. I somehow ended up pregnant again. I was devastated. I had my plan to leave if I wanted, and had been slowly stocking away money. I didn't know how I would ever be able to leave now. While I was pregnant I got a bad feeling my husband was up to something. I went through his whole car, and found his entire wheel well full on porn, and copies of our tape. I wanted to kill him. I think that if my children were not home I might have done it. I was crazy, and couldn't believe how another person could abuse another human like this. I had to slowly resolve myself to suck it up, and make it work for my children. My husband has told me that he will hide the money from the office, and that he will quit working before he pays me a lot of money. I think about if he did something bad to my children I would be gone in an instance, but because it is me it doesn't really matter. Like somehow me or my feelings count above the discomfort or hurt of my children. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 13pt;">I have been in counseling on and off. I have finally started branching out and making new friends. I hope to go back to school so I that I can support myself. I also have finally realized that my husband will never get better, and not to trust him. I will reevaluate my situation, and make better decisions for myself and my children every year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-60128142897652221182011-04-09T09:53:00.000-04:002011-04-09T09:53:02.394-04:00Owner & Creator of Re-Packaged Goods: My Story & Thoughts On RecoveryFor some reason Facebook has been deleting comments..which in turn took out part of my actual story and why I'm passionate about sexual assault recovery. There are recovery sites and resources for everything else, but not for one of the most painful issues that sometimes lead to self-destructive behavior. Any way, here is my story..I hope it helps someone. I may take a few negative comments in order to help deal with the any ignorance (not being mean, but it may be in deed be ignorant) but any malicious comments will be immediately deleted.<br /><br /><!--StartFragment--> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">When I was 5, a relative in one of my God families began to molest and rape me while I visited during the times my Mother worked crazy hours since she was working 3 jobs to take care of me. (She was a single parent at the time) This continued frequently until I finally had the courage to tell my Mother what was going on when I was almost 9. Of course he like most, threatened that he would physically harm me if I ever told. Not to mention he made me believe I would lose the love of my God family which I had known all my life and loved dearly. My Mother and God family put an end to it and ensured he was never 12 feet close to me without someone else there. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">The day before I shipped off to join the Marine Corps when I was 17, (2001) that same evil monster with a different face revisited me again. My recruiter needed to get something to me and couldn’t make it to where I was. So he sent his friend, another local recruiter out of the area that I had met before to me to deliver it. He asked me if I wanted to talk to him about boot camp. And being the naïve trusting lad I was, I went to his car to discuss my fears about joining the Marines...or so I thought anyway. Eventually despite my efforts of fighting him off, he raped me. I never told a soul about that incident until I had a trigger in 2008. I just hoped and prayed I could “run away” from it so, off to Parris Island I went.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">The healing process for me has been just that..an process. I’ll be honest that I didn’t really get to the healing process until shortly after marrying my husband in 2004. The new challenge of being the awesome wife I desired and looking forward to becoming a Mother made me dig deep and stop running from pain. Before we dated, I’ll admit I fell into self-destructive behavior patterns, only stopping short of suicide and/or substance abuse due to the love and responsibility of my family and faithful obligations to the military. I feel blessed to have a husband who over the last 7 years have challenged and promoted me to heal and tap into how God could use this unfortunate incident to help others. While I no longer have the meltdowns, feel alone, confused and ashamed like I did for many years, I like many survivors have my moments. More so for never speaking up &amp; possibly preventing someone else from being attacked from the same individuals. But I’ve learned over the years that God has put nothing on these shoulders that I can’t bear with my head up. I’m no longer angry and to be honest, all I can do is pray that they both have dealt with their underlying issues and repented to God. I AM a survivor!!</span></span></div><!--EndFragment-->Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8657645550208220686.post-73628814013367604402011-04-09T09:41:00.000-04:002011-04-09T09:41:39.232-04:00Our MissionWith the frustration of Facebook missing posts and waiting on an website to be created, I decided to create a blog. Perhaps this is a less censored way to post until the webpage is up and running anyhow. At any rate thank you viewing our blog! Now of course one will ask why create things dealing with sexual assault...let me share our mission with you below. Recovery is a process and a journey, this is the place for you if you are in that journey. Also, there is information for everyone, not just survivors. The chances are someone you know is or could become a victim of sexual assault and knowing the signs and the recovery tools could help someone you know. So spread the word!<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;">To inspire healing and self love after the tragedy of sexual assault. Regardless of religious preference, the tragedy has the same after effects. While the intent is not to alienate those of other faiths but share Christianity as in our personal experience, Christianity has helped the healing process. Our goal is to inspire and envoke the transformation of healing, regardless of religious preference.</span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br /></span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-size: 11px; line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></span>Repackaged Goodshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06114738665414772095noreply@blogger.com0