Tuesday, November 17, 2009

They sound awesome, right? And while we've waited and waited and waited so patiently for Meatcat to arrive on his magic skateboard and bring us Cheesy Blasters, he's totally giving us the cold shoulder. Not cool, Meatcat. Not cool.

Clearly, we had no choice but to take matters into our own hands and make a batch of Cheesy Blasters ourselves. Here's how we did it.

Ingredients

Hot dogs

8 oz bag shredded jack cheese (NOT pepper jack, just plain jack)

8 oz bag shredded mozzarella cheese

Can of pizza sauce

Pepperoni

Tube of thin crust pizza dough

A note on the hot dogs: We used Johnsonville Stadium Style Beef Franks since they were the biggest I could find, hence more room for jack cheese. Once the Cheesy Blasters were assembled, though, we had a leftover pizza lump, so I think this recipe could easily accommodate any standard 8-to-a-pack hot dogs. Unless they're turkey dogs, the inclusion of which in Cheesy Blasters would be nothing less than morally wrong. Same goes for turkey pepperoni. I wish we'd gotten a picture of the leftover pizza lump -- there was something truly disturbing about it. It looked like it might start to scoot away of its own accord, like the raisin concoction John Cusack's mom made in Better Off Dead.

Recipe

Preheat oven to temperature stated on the pizza crust directions.

Assemble pizza. We went in the order of pizza crust, pizza sauce, cheese and then a protective barrier of pepperoni in hopes of minimizing mozzarella/jack co-mingling.

Cook hot dogs on stovetop according to package directions.

Cut a slit lengthwise in the hot dogs, and stuff with jack cheese.

Cut pizza into strips, not quite as wide as the length of the hot dog. You want some hot dog overhang coming out of each end.

Roll a hot dog in each pizza strip. If at all possible, try to roll it so that the seam of the pizza ends up on the bottom but the jack cheese in the hot dog faces upward, thus preventing too much cheese from oozing out as it melts.

No shocker, they turned out pretty delicious -- at least the sum of their parts. It probably helped that by the time our Cheesy Blasters came out of the oven, we were a couple of Old Styles into the evening. If there's anything bad to say about the Cheesy Blasters at all, it's that I envisioned them looking somewhat more cylindrical, and not so much like Hot Pockets.

Actually, here's the worst thing about Cheesy Blasters: It's nigh-impossible to get the jingle out of your head. Seriously, it's starting to drive me batty.

Meatcat, please come hang out with us. We'll even sweeten the deal with all the Old Style you can drink. How can you turn that down?

17 comments:

Truly inspired work. I just don't have it in me to eat crap like this, I'm glad someone does have it. I threw up eating a Domino's bread bowl and a ham and cheese on pretzel bread Hotzi. I'm sure I would have thrown up a cheesy blaster as well.

This is similar to something I have made for years, my own version of "pigs in a blanket". I use refrigerated biscuit dough (Pilsbury Grands is my choice). I roll out the biscut to make a thin dough wrapper for the hot dog. I use Ball Park Beef franks. I place the dog on the dough, add some chopped onion, mustard and shredded mild cheddar cheese. I wrap up the dog completely and pinch the ends shut to keep the cheese inside. I bake at 350 degrees for 18 - 20 minutes or until the biscuit dough is golden brown.