Comments on: Should I have a second child?http://www.rookiemoms.com/dear-rookie-moms-should-i-have-a-second-child/
Two geeky girls' guide to the first years of motherhood.Fri, 09 Dec 2016 03:16:01 +0000hourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.6.1By: Sarahhttp://www.rookiemoms.com/dear-rookie-moms-should-i-have-a-second-child/#comment-606760
Fri, 02 Sep 2016 09:41:20 +0000http://www.rookiemoms.com/?p=9700#comment-606760I am up at 3 in the morning unable to sleep due to morning sickness, pregnant with my 4th. Reading these posts, I just want to confirm how much perspective is needed in making this very personal decision. Only you know you and what you can handle, both long term and short term. Being pregnant, giving birth, the first year are hard for everyone. Everyone. Some struggle more than others, but really, it’s no walk in the park for any mother I know. The thing is to focus long-term, if possible. Yes, two years are going to be a struggle, with so many ups and downs and work. But kids do grow up, eventually will be out of diapers, be able to feed themselves, and be so much more self-sufficient, and honestly, just fun. With that kind of long-term perspective, ask will another child be a good addition to your family?

In my experience, each child is not exponentially harder or easier, they are all hard and they are all amazing. I now have a 5 year old, a 3 year old and a 1 year old and they are the delight of my life, each with their own adorable personalities. I’m also a working professional, as is my husband, juggling work life balance like most people. I don’t consider myself a kid person or particularly good with all the kid/mom stuff. I honestly don’t enjoy all the things that come with motherhood. But I sure love those kids and we make it work.

I had the same fears about loving another one and immediately after my second was born had a freak out stage wondering if I really could love another and mourning what I thought would be a huge change in my relationship with my oldest. But I have come to see that while things change, in my perspective, they really do only get better. I still love my oldest just as much and find time just for him and each of them. My kids fight and get along and truly love each other. And honestly, it’s a relief when they entertain each other, giving me time for other things!

I struggled with the decision each time to have another, but in the end, I am so glad we have – I sure love these sweet kiddos and am looking forward to meeting the next – even more excited for the crap pregnancy/birth time to be over! Good luck to anyone making this tough decision.

]]>By: Stefaniahttp://www.rookiemoms.com/dear-rookie-moms-should-i-have-a-second-child/#comment-603292
Tue, 23 Aug 2016 13:14:56 +0000http://www.rookiemoms.com/?p=9700#comment-603292I feel the same now that my first son is almost 2. After he was born I had the hardest time of my life and promised myself I would not have the second but now things are much better and I’m wondering if having a second will take me down again…
]]>By: Jenhttp://www.rookiemoms.com/dear-rookie-moms-should-i-have-a-second-child/#comment-599130
Wed, 03 Aug 2016 19:55:44 +0000http://www.rookiemoms.com/?p=9700#comment-599130After the birth of my son I wondered if I’d ever want another. I always pictured at least two. Sometime after my son turned 2 was when I started to picture him playing with a sibling and my thoughts feelings kind of did a 180 and we started trying for another. I couldn’t picture caring for another up until that point. For me it just felt right at some point and became less of a decision
]]>By: Joan @ Late Bloomer Momshttp://www.rookiemoms.com/dear-rookie-moms-should-i-have-a-second-child/#comment-598889
Tue, 02 Aug 2016 17:55:26 +0000http://www.rookiemoms.com/?p=9700#comment-598889For some of us, we CAN’T have a second child (or we’re strongly advised by our OB/GYN not to). By the grace of God we had our little boy when 3 infertility docs said we’d need “help” to get pregnant. We proved them wrong and mainly had a great pregnancy ’til the end – where I was the one in a bit of trouble, NOT my baby. So, we know we are blessed with what we have.
]]>By: Heather Fletthttp://www.rookiemoms.com/dear-rookie-moms-should-i-have-a-second-child/#comment-565529
Mon, 21 Dec 2015 23:05:59 +0000http://www.rookiemoms.com/?p=9700#comment-565529Ok Jacquelyn, if you have a nine-month old already, your children will not be nine months apart so you can relax on that front. Other than that, I can tell you that it WILL be busy and hard and probably wonderful. The very best thing about having children so close in age is that they cannot remember life without one another. My nieces are about that same span and they seem to handle it pretty well. There was a fun website called Baby Bunching (that is now defunct) that you may want to read from front to back to get some others’ perspectives. Congratulations and good luck!
]]>By: Jacquelynhttp://www.rookiemoms.com/dear-rookie-moms-should-i-have-a-second-child/#comment-565416
Sat, 19 Dec 2015 22:10:37 +0000http://www.rookiemoms.com/?p=9700#comment-565416Dear Rookie Moms,
I believe my question is best suited for all Rookie Moms out there, and I am sure of your own personal experiences that you can vest advise me. Just last night I took a pregnancy. Yes I am pregnant after doing the test ten times in a row! I have an adorable handsome amazing baby boy of 9months. It has been a true surprise to me that I am pregnant so soon because it took us 5 years to get pregnant with my little boy that I have now. I am so scared and worried about how can I handle being pregnant already and I have a 9month old to take care of as well. Let me tell you he is on the go nonstop! I also have crohns disease so that already makes me a high risk pregnancy. My question is how do you moms handle being pregnant when you have an older baby to take care of. Is it common to have babies 9months apart!? Will my son be jealous of the new baby or more acceptable of it because he is so young? I know my pregnancy with my 9month old was hard on me and I had to be bed ridden in my third trimester. This pregnancy is already taking everything out of me,but I know that’s common in the first trimester. Please any tips or words of wisdom and advice would be so appreciative! Thank you rookie moms!
]]>By: Sarahhttp://www.rookiemoms.com/dear-rookie-moms-should-i-have-a-second-child/#comment-548641
Sat, 05 Sep 2015 03:24:06 +0000http://www.rookiemoms.com/?p=9700#comment-548641Don’t do it
]]>By: Heather Fletthttp://www.rookiemoms.com/dear-rookie-moms-should-i-have-a-second-child/#comment-443861
Mon, 01 Sep 2014 20:19:27 +0000http://www.rookiemoms.com/?p=9700#comment-443861Crystal, Hard choice, but you are thinking about all the right stuff. My third child just turned three today. I love him a ton and do not regret having him… but I will say that having three totally kicked my ass at times. You can fast-forward in your mind all you want but you still have to get through those first bumpy years. Good luck!
]]>By: Crystal S.http://www.rookiemoms.com/dear-rookie-moms-should-i-have-a-second-child/#comment-442814
Mon, 01 Sep 2014 03:09:32 +0000http://www.rookiemoms.com/?p=9700#comment-442814I realize this thread started almost 3 years ago but I wanted to say how thankful I am for all who commented. I read every single post and I am glad I am not alone in this difficult decision. My son just turned 3 and we can never decide if we want a 2nd or not- I was an only child until 14 which I was fine with, and on the other hand I DO enjoy my now 12 year old brother. We aren’t super close because of our age difference but we ARE close in a different way. My husband is a middle child and isn’t close to either sister so he is fine with one child, but open to a 2nd.
The things keeping us from jumping in are fear that we won’t be able to vacation like we do now, having the money for fun weekend day trips, and the biggest: my husbands MS. He does really good as of now, but MS can be so tricky and flair ups so sudden. I’d hate to have a older toddler and a newborn and then have my husbands needs to take care of as well. I like to be there for him in any way, and I think with one child it leaves us the time we need to unwind at night, reconnect, hang out together etc… We are still under 30 (just barley!) but my husband wants to decide by next month. He always wanted to be done with kids by age 30 so this puts a time strain on me. Such a tough decision.
The comment that made the biggest impact on me tonight was about the joy:stress ratio. Our joy:stress ratio is really good, much more joy and very little stress. My son is a great sleeper, sleeps 6:30-7am, sometimes even 9am. Do I want to rock that boat?! We aren’t tired. (Well my husband is, from his MS, and needs frequent short naps. Something else to consider) seems like having one is the obvious choice right? But it’s never that easy for me. I waver all the time, and I wish someone had a crystal ball and could see my future for me! I don’t want to grow older and regret not having a 2nd but I certainly don’t want to have a 2nd and wish for my old life back.
Writing this helped clear my mind for tonight and I wanted to say thank you to all that posted, I hope you all have peace in your decision making 🙂 best of luck to everyone!
]]>By: Heather Fletthttp://www.rookiemoms.com/dear-rookie-moms-should-i-have-a-second-child/#comment-394447
Thu, 31 Jul 2014 16:13:52 +0000http://www.rookiemoms.com/?p=9700#comment-394447Kate, I’m sorry you’re going through this. It really sucks that even after we “decide” there are still so many other factors at play.
]]>By: Katehttp://www.rookiemoms.com/dear-rookie-moms-should-i-have-a-second-child/#comment-394064
Thu, 31 Jul 2014 09:52:46 +0000http://www.rookiemoms.com/?p=9700#comment-394064I’v been trying to to have a second child for a year and still no luck, I have been starting to think I did this to myself becausefor the first two years of my sons life I vowed I wouldnever ever do this ever again. Its a very hard decision to make and I made mine only to find It may never happen, not naturally and without spending thousands anyway.
]]>By: Books for preparing toddlers for a new siblinghttp://www.rookiemoms.com/dear-rookie-moms-should-i-have-a-second-child/#comment-199962
Mon, 23 Sep 2013 15:55:19 +0000http://www.rookiemoms.com/?p=9700#comment-199962[…] Related: Dear Rookie Moms, Should I have a second child? […]
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