First, Just Jared posts pictures of you on a bright summer jaunt, wheeling around like a cute little farm girl on this bitchin’ Hello Kitty beach cruiser…

Hello Anna

…and then it occurs to me that you’re actually hanging out on bikes with your fiancé Stephen Moyer’s hot ex, Lorien Haynes, accompanied by their daughter. You seem as comfortable with this woman’s past and mile-long legs as you are with Bryan Singer or that quirky little gap between your front teeth! It’s freakin’ amazing!

Lady, this is a display of maturity, coolness and personal security that I could never in my wildest dreams duplicate, ashamed as I am to admit it. Hell fucking no way I could do such a thing. Helllllll. Fuuuucking. Noooooooo. Waaaaaaaayyyy.