Obama on Internet Giveaway: “Al Gore Can Invent a New One”

WASHINGTON – In case you haven’t been paying attention, the United States is just days away from handing over control of the internet to a multi-national body and, once completed, the move is irreversible. Critics say the giveaway will stifle free expression and censorship will become prevalent from countries who do not share our values.

America has been the overseer of the internet basically since its inception about 20 years ago. But, as with most every other issue he gets involved with, President Obama doesn’t seem too concerned about it.

“I don’t really care how it affects businesses and the American public. I’ll be living my life of luxury and will have the best of everything,” Obama said. “And hey, if things go south after the takeover, we’ve got Al Gore. He can just invent another internet.”

Mr. Obama suggested Gore could invent an internet just for use by Americans. Or just by Democrats. “Conservative websites and conservative speech are the main problems with the internet as it is. Eliminate that and you’ve got something worthwhile!”

“Believe me,” the president said, “We’ve really thought this thing through. Al Gore is the Albert Einstein of our modern times. I’m confident he could get it done, while still saving the planet from the coming climate apocalypse.”