Saturday, December 31, 2005

Why do prudes have to lie?

If people decide that for religious reasons they don't want to have sex before marriage, or don't want to use contraceptives, or whatever, I don't have a problem with that (although I don't think it is wise: see my views on sex before marriage).

But why do they have to make up fake pseudo-scientific reasons to back up their religious beliefs?

Today, I decided to read up more on a new more extreme form of prudery which I just recently learned of: no kissing before marriage.

"Paul and Lori", in How Far Before Marriage?, don't get specific about kissing, but they do say that there should be no "touching" before marriage. They allege:

Talk to 100 women who "messed around" before marriage a year after the wedding and at least 95% will say they wish they had not done it.

Do they give a source for this "statistic"? Of course not, because it is made up! How often do 95% of the population agree on anything?

Paul and Lori express concern that if we have sex with other people before marriage, we will be disappointed that our spouse doesn't do that special thing we liked or look as good as our ex. But (duh), if you have sex before marriage, you can find out if your spouse is sexually compatible and not marry them if they don't do that special thing we really like.

For myself, I have found that sex, and my ability to communicate what I like, has improved with more experience. I am grateful to all my partners, past and present, for their contributions to my sex life.