Other players - not their characters - were ragging on my thief for joining the city guard... during an investigation, the halfing in the group call into question my thief's sanity. He promptly called for a shrink.

Our weekend gaming group is once again firing up and the old feeling seems to have returned. We had a great night of really good in-character role-playing. Our characters are superpowered ex-government agents who have retired to a small New England town to teach the next generation of enhancers in a school that is a cross between X-Men and Eureka.

One of our "students" has decided the best way for her to get ahead in life is to sleep her way to the top. At an impromptu faculty meeting that turned into one part Illuminati conspiracy theory speculation, one part talking "around" the subject of our failed mission in Bangladesh, and one part discussion of how to handle the mentees we'd been assigned, one character referred to the aforementioned girl as having "phasing crotch critters". We all just busted up.

I am not sure if GMs are supposed to get in on this, but Crinos has some of the best lines.

In the ARCADE: Team Four game, a soon to be hunter has an encounter with a werewolf with him ending up helping deliver the werewof's babies. After it's all over, the werewolf tells the doctor:

Crinos wrote:"Hey, thank you so much for helping with the delivery. I was afraid to go to a hospital with her because of the litter. I didn't want to draw too much attention." He rubs the back of his head, "And sorry about killing your nurse. That was unprofessional."

One of the Players had an assassination attempt on his secret identity by what was later revealed to be a kaftar (were-hyena) assassin. After poisoning him, she lept off the five-story balcony in a manner similar to Kate Beckinsale from Underworld. The PCs eventually track her down...

Manticore: "There are four people inside, including Ms. Jumps-From-Five-Stories."

Last Night in our Anime based game the group of teenagers decided to go to a military base being over run by extradimensional creatures when a panicked soldier asked what could they do to help. One of the characters looked at him and said, "We're the North Ashwood First String Football team and cheering squad. We can handle it."

It's been a long time since I've gamed until 3:00 in the morning. Thanks to our GM for an excellent opening adventure in our own version of Smallville. Best line of the night:

When we look back onto how we first discovered who we are, we'll realize it wasn't some great battle against overwhelming odds, but purposefully driving into sewage treatment pond to avoid being blown up with a fertilizer factory. It's all about the poodoo!

Heh. We had one really memorable line from a Kingdom game a couple weeks ago. (New game with a Kickstarter here if you're interested.)

Milos is the governor of the city who's always been indecisive and rather feckless. When one of the major noble houses of the city goes into rebellion, though, he finally finds his spine, goes out with his army, and pounds them into paste. Afterward, the dead rebel's two oldest surviving sons are dumped on their knees in front of him in his throne room...

He told them coldly, "I am giving you a chance to save your family's lives." He paused to let that sink in, and a shocked silence spread through the court. Then he said, "Swear eternal and abject fealty to me now, and instruct all your father's followers to do the same." He looked to the elder son. "Now, please."

The young man stammered, "What assurance do we have that-" Milos quelled him with a single glance, then looked expectantly to the younger son, still in his teens.

This one said earnestly, "We and all our house pledge our undying fealty to you forever, Governor!" Milos nodded. "Congratulations. Your family will live, and you have just inherited the title."

At this point, the court began emitting a shocked buzz of talk, mostly to the effect of, "Can he really do that?!"

Milos gazed around the room with authority, and it fell silent. He stated, "Nonsense. The second son always inherits if the first son is dead. ... I prefer to think of this as mercy."

"All right, I am not the Shadow. You have nothing at all to worry about. Except, oh, wait, I'm pointing a gun at you."

O man, a ton of these are really great. I can't believe I haven't seen this thread before. My TT group has a bunch of great lines every now and then, but I can't really remember them all off the top of my head. Here are a few memorable ones.

The first lines this new GM said to open up his first ever game for the group. It was going to be a D&D high fantasy game, and the characters had never met before, so the GM got a bit more creative with how he wanted to start things. The game started with a single sentence and then a command to the players.

GM: "You are all in a Dream. Roleplay."

There was a moment of silence before we all cracked up.

In another game, a thief character had just robbed the biggest bank in the city off everything it had, and gotten away clean with all the money before he was caught. Instead, just after stashing away the money, he was accosted by some police officers. Unfortunately, the theif's companion was a coward and freaked out by hiding away all the money, then ran up to the officers, and told them that the PC was the theif who had stolen all the money from the bank. The officers just stared at the two of them, and said, "Whad'dya mean he robbed the bank? We were just giving him a ticket for jay walking!" An hour later, those officers hear about the robbery and face palm when they realize that the theif and his companion had already fled the city after paying the jay walking ticket.

Some others include:

Player: "Ok, so my wizard punches the demon in the gut."GM: "Roll for... wait, what?"Player: "I got a critical."GM: "Wait, you, a squishy and physically weak wizard, punch a high level arch demon from the Pits of hell?!?"Player: "Yes, and I critical'ed."{Believe it or not, that punch actually killed the demon.}

GM: "The humongous truck-sized hornets swarm about you, a buzzing sound filling your ears. They seem almost predatory."Player: "I dress up as Food!"GM: "Come again?"Player: "I'm gonna pretend to be food to lure them in, then when they get close, I attack!"GM: "So, you want to dress up as... food."Player: "Yes."GM: "How?"Player: "Illusions!"

Players are cornered by a were-elephant in a closed off alleyway, and the archer just crit failed his attack roll.Archer: "I missed... I couldn't frickin' hit an elephant in an alleyway!"

PC sneaks up behind Mook, then says in Mook's ear: "Duck."Mook ducks down, and turns, slowly looking up to see the PC behind him.PC shakes his head and says: "Wrong Duck."PC then wails on the mook with a giant rubber ducky.

Villain: "You'll never take me alive, coppers!"Hero: "We're not cops..."

Bomb about to blow up in a hostage situation, and the tech genius shouts to everyone: "It's okay! I can stop this bomb. I just need everyone to stop screaming!"An unearthly silence falls over the entire area as the hostages shut up. Tech guy cuts a few fires, then notices the count down speeding up.Tech genius: "Okay, you can scream a little."

kenmadragon, you got a belly laugh out of me with a couple of those! Your group sounds fun.

Some other ones from the Kingdom game:

"So what is your opinion of our psychotic, bipolar ruler?" "I rather assiduously strive not to have opinions of psychotic, bipolar rulers at all. They tend to take it badly."

Rather nasty PC to the Guildmaster of Thieves, who he is thoroughly blackmailing, and whose minion has screwed up through the use, as he put it, of initiative: "I have scant appreciation for 'initiative'. When I give an order, I expect it to be carried out faithfully, without 'initiative'. 'Initiative' requires thinking, and thinking is not a quality I value in thugs and other menials."

The Guildmaster, trying to make amends: "Yes, of course, I, ah, will reprimand my man firmly." "Make certain your reprimand occurs well beyond his pain threshold. And do it yourself; perhaps you both will learn something."

The line from the priestess after she won a pirate ship gambling and the current owner asked her to come alone to the office to 'talk over' the transfer.

She did not, however, go off to get shiv'd. She went off to get drugged, kidnapped, and given to a mad alchemist. The PC's rescued her, and her first line of business was to go back to the gambling hall, stroll in casually, and say in a perky voice, "Okay, so, where's my ship?"