Could Britney Spears’ crazy behavior all be explained by too many visits to Starbucks and Taco Bell? According to a doctor interview by “Access Hollywood” the answer is absofreakingloutely. Direct quote.

“When you take a look at Britney Spears and her behavior, it’s very frightening,” Dr. Timothy Brantley, a PhD who educates patients on the power of food, told Access. “She’s a person who’s completely addicted to sugar. This is like heroin for a junkie. She’s literally on a roller coaster to hell.” Britney’s irrational behavior — from shaving her head to attacking a car with an umbrella — can partly be attributed to her toxic diet of caffeine drinks and fast food, Brantley told Access.

“Caffeine and sugar in this drink will drive your blood sugars and hormones crazy and it can effect your mood for hours,” Brantley said of a Frappuccino. Britney’s favorite Venti Frapaccino coffee can cause her to become irritable, agitated and lose focus. “And of course irrational behavior follows that,” Brantley said. “Once you get a quick rise and a quick drop, the body is back in a craving cycle again.”

Additionally, the caffeine content in her extra large soda could cause memory loss, inattentiveness and anxiety. “If you flood your body with sugars and all of a sudden you become really hyper, I think your judgment is going to be really altered,” he said. The greasy tacos and fries Britney craves from the drive-thru are equally destructive. “It’s toxic to the liver,” he said. “It’s going to mess up your hormones.”

I agree with every single word of this – in theory. Sugar can do terrible things to your body. I have had a nasty sugar addiction for as long as I can remember. Though I’ve never battled any other addiction and have nothing to compare it to, trying to wean myself off sugar has been brutal. Strawberries just don’t compare to chocolate cake, I don’t give a shit what Suzanne Somers and the Sugar Busters people say. Regardless, when the good doctor points out “This is like heroin for a junkie,” I think the issue is more the heroin that she’s likely using than the sugar. I agree that sugar can do all the things he says, I just think Britney’s drug habit is the more likely culprit. Convince me that she’s not shooting/shorting/huffing anything that doesn’t walk and we’ll talk.

The best part of this article? “She’s literally on a roller coaster to hell.” I love when people use the word “literally” to emphasize their point. They’re trying to say “really” but want a stronger word, so they say “literally” – completely forgetting what it means. If Britney were literally on a roller coaster to hell, first off hell would have some pretty cool rides. I understand that any addiction is brutal, but I’m pretty sure they don’t send you literally to hell via the Coney Island Cyclone. At least in this life.