What a weird little mind I have

An Assessment of my Current Creepy Levels

I didn’t do much today. But I did have an epiphany. Unfortunately it was not a good epiphany. In fact I would say it was the opposite of a good epiphany. You know a good epiphany when you see one because you start emanating a golden type light, or a thunder bolt emerges from the heavens, or flowers bloom out of a brick…or something like that. When I had my epiphany today, none of those things happened. I got an intense and urgent itch on my foot around the same time, but that can hardly be seen as a good omen.

So my epiphany was this: I am creepy. Some of you may have known this for a long time, but I assure you, today was the first time I really believed it. Let me present the evidence:

1) I went to a book launch today to basically stalk my former instructor from school, who is also an author, who also is kinda my hero. Before you judge me, she is really cool and basically lives my dream life (writing and editing children’s books). I also think her book is awesome. It is called Watch This Space.

2) I have crushes on no less than 4 underage teenage boys. In random order, they are: Justin Bieber (how could I NOT love this little pint of adorable-ness? He is the stuff tween dreams are made of. And I sometimes indulge the former tween that still lives inside me), Lucas Till (the guy/kid from the Hannah Montana movie. If you are wondering why I have seen the Hannah Montana movie, we may have to have a longer discussion at some point…), Zac Efron (I don’t think I even really need to justify this), and Taylor Lautner (well if you didn’t want me to have a crush on him, you shouldn’t have had him shirtless throughout the entire new Twilight movie! If you want to know why I’ve seen the Twilight movies then we can include that in the Hannah Montana movie discussion as well, I guess). Now I realize the last three crushes are technically of legal age, but I’m pretty sure I had crushes on all of them before they got old. And by old I mean maybe 20. No I did not just imdb all of them…

3) I have a staring problem. I stare at people. A lot. It’s reasonable to assume that 4 year olds will stare at people without reservation. It is not reasonable for a 24 year old to do it. But I can’t help it! People are so interesting! I’m just nervous that my staring problem is going to get me killed some day. People don’t like it when you stare at them. For example I was staring at somebody on the subway the other day and they caught me and gave me a really dirty look. So yeah…if looks could kill, I would be dead right now. It’s pretty scary stuff. Thinking about it really makes me reevaluate my life. I’m gonna go listen to that Tim McGraw song now…

4) Similar to number 3, I also find myself eavesdropping on peoples’ conversations a lot. Everybody else’s lives always seem more interesting than mine, so you can’t really blame me. And while I am confessing things, I may as well admit to reading a girl’s text messages over her shoulder while I was waiting for a change room at H&M. I assure you that I terminated all spying attempts immediately upon entry into the change room area. I’m creepy but I’m not THAT creepy.

I think four facts is enough to backup my initial statement. I am definitely a creep. It’s a sickness really, and I deserve sympathy and pity, and possibly small tokens and gifts as symbols of your faith in my quick recovery, NOT disgust, scorn, and general frowny faces. Thanks guys.

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If you’re creepy, then I am, too.
It’s not being creepy, love. It’s called… being observant. Or a people-watcher. And as an author, it comes with the territory. We’re always told to write what you know – so you have to learn as much as you can, and the best way to learn is by watching other people.

… Or, at least, that’s what I tell myself so that I don’t feel like such a creep.
Hope you guys had fun at Hadley’s thing! Wish I could have joined you.