Monday, June 27, 2005

Pride comes in many shapes, colors, sizes and feelings. YOu can have pride no matter who you are, gay or straight, but being gay and being apart of such an amazing expierence as San Francisco Gay Pride is really altering for a person. To be surrounded by thousands of people who live the same lifestyle as you and go through the same things I do and surrounded by those who may not be gay but respect us and love us nonetheless is simply amazing. I did some major volunteering for the Mayors VIP pride party and I didnt see the parade or get to wonder all that much but I still felt like I lived the best pride expierence I have ever lived. LoveJoySmilesHappiness ...shared by all--was enough for me anyday!

Sunday, June 19, 2005

I stand on the underground train heading home after a day of galvanting around and visiting people and enjoying the beauty of the sun and cloud free day. Over the sounds of my Ipod Shuffle I hear a child laughing...I drop one earbud from an ear and look over and smile. There is a small asian child, ruffly about 3 yrs old, sitting with his Grandfather, and laughing at the games his grandfather plays with him with his hand, swaying it back and forth, closer and closer to his face, occassionally grabbing his nose, his laugh and youth inspires the grandfather to let his inner child play along. The smile came apon my face because of what I remember of the simple things that thrilled us so much growing up and how now life is so much more complicated and how easily we can get caught up in it all, but how we have to remain grounded and take a second....Look around us...Declare what's amazing...Reflect in it's beauty...And just smile...And blame it on our youth.

Your smile is just the 3 yr old in you coming out and letting you know its okay to just be you in this world...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To JC : When you look deep enough inside yourself, pushing back everything, and really discovering who you are. It gets easier, peel back the layers and enjoy lifes small and wonderous beauties...you are amazing and will be even more when you realize that. Your not sugar, when you get wet you wont melt...Your not glass, when you fall you wont shatter...I love you and take one step at a time, it will all come together...I promise.

NYC Native Drag Queen and Amazing DJ, MC, TV & Movie star, the fabulous Lady Bunny is hysterical and a good friend of mine...CANT wait to see her...and you all should come to. Im trying to get a group of us to all go together...Let me know if you wanna go, maybe we will pregame at my place and then go.

HOLLA At me if you are down...If you wanna have a good time and laugh your fuckin ass off...This is for you!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Part Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

San Francisco's Board of Supervisors unanimously passed a resolution Tuesday urging city and state agencies to take action against Badlands, a gay nightclub that a city commission determined was guilty of discriminating against African Americans.

In April, San Francisco's Human Rights Commission ruled after a 10-month investigation that Les Natali, the club's owner, required multiple forms of identification for some African-American customers, used discriminatory hiring practices and enforced a selective dress code that varied with the customer's race.

Although the Board of Supervisors cannot take punitive action against the club, it urged the city attorney, the California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control, the California Department of Fair Employment and Housing and the San Francisco Entertainment Commission "to impose penalties to the fullest extent of the law to ensure accountability for discrimination."

If California's Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control determines the club violated state discrimination laws, Badlands could lose its liquor license.

Natali's lawyer, Paul Melbostad, told the San Francisco Chronicle, "This is a shameless act by the board and it's legally meaningless."

Melbostad then accused the organization that pursued the case against the club, And Castro for All, as "acting like a vigilante group."

"All it shows is that the members of the board were afraid that if they didn't vote for the resolution, And Castro For All would accuse them of being racist," Melbostad said.

Don Romesburg, an organizer for And Castro For All, laughed when asked about the "vigilante" label during a conversation with the PlanetOut Network.

"Clearly, we've constantly worked in the confines of the law," Romesburg said. "It's Les Natali that's been operating outside of the law."

"We're delighted that the leadership of the city government supports the finding -- a clear pattern of discrimination -- and we hope that city and state agencies are commensurate," Romesburg said.

Romesburg said he hoped the bar would lose its ability to serve liquor. "According to state guidelines for moral turpitude, license revocation seems appropriate," he said. "If that means his employees will be out of a job because of Les Natali's discrimination, then that's something they need to bring up to their employer. The problem is not that racial discrimination has been brought to public attention -- the problem is that discrimination occurred in the first place."

Badlands employees, who asked to remain anonymous, told the PlanetOut Network that racism was not the problem. They insist the problem started with a few rowdy customers who were either not allowed entry or removed from the club and decided to punish Badlands by alleging racism.

Mark Lock, an African-American Badlands customer, described the situation with the club as "a double-edged sword."

"My perspective is: whatever. I'm from the South. When you grow up around it, you don't let it let you stop your life. But if they can prove what he did, they should penalize him," Lock said, admitting he would continue going to the club.

Johnathan Woodbeck, a Badlands customer who is Caucasian, said, "I don't think the bar should be shut down. It definitely should be thought out a little bit more. But then, I'm not for discrimination either."

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

What are we afraid of as humans when it comes to change?Change comes in many shapes, colors, and sizes and differs from person to person but for some reason we all have a similar reaction to it.At first we are afraid, timid, or struck by this so called change but it’s at this point where we decide where we go from here.We either embrace the change or it ceases to affect us and we continue on with our lives.My question about change comes about for many different reasons but the main reason being why don’t those who want change, or need change, to better there current situation, why don’t they take it and run.Why NOT embrace it and change for this better.You’d be happier; you’d experience new things, or is that the problem? Are you afraid of these things, are you afraid of feeling new feelings and experiencing new experiences.Well don’t be.Life is not glorified without it, life can not and will not be fulfilled for you until you take these changes and morph them into exactly what you need to make your life worth living.Life is too short to leave change behind.Open the book and turn the pages, write your own story, make your own movie, and open your heart, your mind, your body, and your soul to this world, to this change, and you will forever be just that…changed.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

After attending the GLAAD Media Awards this weekend and seeing all those couples I tend to wonder where it is for me...I mean have I not been patient? Do I not get to feel that intimacy that they do? Do I not deserve someone special in my life? In a society based around appearence, most relationships are based off that instant attraction. Yes, I do agree there has to be a physical something that brings you into that person, BUT is there a need for it to be based around it, why is it most everything we do when searching for MR or MS Right consist of us being so stereotypical and ONLY being into someone for there body or there looks. Lets take that next step right off the bat and realize that shit, only is nice in the beginning if you WANT something to work and if you WANT something to last its gotta be about more, theres gotta be more that keeps you sucked into that person, Ive heard over and over again that Ill find someone when I least expect it and that I cant go out looking for it. Well ya no what, Im not looking for it but Id like it to come to me, I have alot to offer, dont I. I take care of myself, Im smart, funny, successfull, well driven, and a joy to be around hahaha god this sounds so desperate and pertenscious, but YOU get what Im saying.My point to this ramble is this fellas...Why not take a chance? Take that giant leap out of the usual perverbiale box and do what we wanna do instead of what society says what we should do. I dont mind waiting for Mr Right because I know when I do find him, it will be well worth it.

So wherever you maybe, Im waiting. Open Armed. The love I dream of. Chills run over. Butterflies surface. And. I Smile.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Its been awhile since I posted on here but thats obviously because things have been super busy. I just got back in from a rather quick trip to Upstate NY to visit everyone and to help kick off the Gay Pride in Albany by hosting WATERSTOCK at Waterworks Pub, featuring the areas best drag queens and the amazing Lady Bunny. The show was a huge success and alot of fun to do. A good friend of mine and a killer drag queen Penny Larceny was retiring and it was her last show, so of course her and I pulled out all the stops and rocked the house with a huge opener that I dont think people were expected.

Going home for me is always an interesting expierence. I am so incredibly happy to see everyone and by the time Im leaving I am pratically ready to be diagnosed with depression and put on Zoloft. I really feel something amazing when I am around my friends in NY. Its just so comfortable like nothing is expected of me, I can just be whatever and its all the same to them. I love them for that. I cant really tell them enough how much they mean to me, the ones know who they are.

I did realize though that I apparently have to stop trying with some friends. I try my best to keep in touch with everyone as much as I can being 3000 miles away but somehow even when I am a half hour away or in the same city, still I get nothing from some people. I call, they dont call me back. I try my best to see them and no one makes an equal attempt. So to all of you that honestly can say to me you miss me or you cant wait to see me, where were you? I was home for only a few days and I called or you knew I was in town, did my phone ring with a callback or a call in general...NO! Its quite sad when you have to beg people to call you back, I love you all but Ive had enough of trying to please everyone. I am only one person, so if you expect for me to continue to value our friendships, put forth just a little bit more effort so I can feel its worth it. Im done with going out of my way for people who wouldnt or wont do the same for me.

I was told I was conceited. ME! Okay, so maybe yes I talk about myself alot with people, but thats ONLY because of the following reasons:1. How do you expect to hold a conversation whether in person or over the phone if the conversation begins with me asking you how things are and you say ... ok...and thats it, logically I will try to make conversation with you by talking about things going on with me, its called conversation last time I checked, isnt that how it works people. If you arent talking, thats your lose, Im here to listen, to be your shoulder or whatever, so fuckin speak up.and 2. I have alot to be proud of and since I may not see you all the time, I have to inform you of whats going on, if you were a friend you would be welcoming of the conversation and wouldnt consider mylife VS. your life a fuckin competition, Im not telling you the things I tell you to rub them in your face, your my friend, Im just as interested in hearing about what you fuckin ate for dinner or whatever you did over the past weekend as you are about whatever Im doing, or so I thought.Life is to short for bullshit people, get over yourself so you can move on and enjoy the good shit in life. If your not happy where you are or with what your doing...then fuckin do something about it. Enough sugarcoating the bullshit and do what you want to do no matter what it is. Your friends and family, if they are real, will love you no matter what, they arent going anywhere...Take it from me I know...