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Delighting in the many ways God suprises us with His Glory in the Ordinary of our days...Sat, 27 Jan 2018 12:21:11 +0000hourly1http://wordpress.com/Comment on Enough with the #MeToo stuff already by How Could This Happen? | Surprising Ordinaryhttps://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/2018/01/16/enough-with-the-metoo-stuff-already/#comment-212
Sat, 27 Jan 2018 12:21:11 +0000http://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/?p=1055#comment-212[…] this helpful list will make it easier to clear a way through the fog in less time. As I’ve written before, trauma stories are often disjointed and messy when they first come out. It is easy to become […]
]]>Comment on Beauty in the Bleak by Fight for joy… | Surprising Ordinaryhttps://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/2012/04/16/beauty-in-the-bleak/#comment-201
Thu, 21 Dec 2017 14:46:09 +0000http://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/?p=92#comment-201[…] referenced the above painting before by my friend James Winn – it’s one of my favorite possessions. […]
]]>Comment on Yet… by Lauriehttps://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/2017/12/18/yet/#comment-200
Wed, 20 Dec 2017 00:26:10 +0000http://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/?p=1020#comment-200Thanks so much for the encouragement, Betteanne!
]]>Comment on Yet… by BETTEANNE CAMAGNAhttps://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/2017/12/18/yet/#comment-199
Tue, 19 Dec 2017 23:54:11 +0000http://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/?p=1020#comment-199You have a beautiful way with words Laurie…. a beautiful way of sharing GOD’S WORD. \0/
]]>Comment on Please stop asking the Old Lady at church to participate in your child’s disobedience by Lauriehttps://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/2017/02/12/please-stop-asking-the-old-lady-at-church-to-participate-in-your-childs-disobedience/#comment-189
Mon, 13 Feb 2017 04:56:12 +0000http://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/?p=794#comment-189Wow, that video is a throw back! I’m glad we aren’t constrained by all the same rules and expectations, too. 🙂 You’re right, Jamie – leading by example and giving explanations is the best way to teach our children almost everything! It’s a “come follow me and learn from me as I follow Jesus,” discipleship that is precisely the kind of parenting I am describing. The blog post was not really about greetings and introductions – I was simply using that as an example of one of the (many) ways that parents unintentionally get into a situation where they don’t really expect their kids to obey them – or they’re unwilling to follow through once disobedience has happened. And as an older woman who encounters situations like this weekly I wanted to use a very relate-able experience to make the point. I’m not the least bit ruffled if a child doesn’t greet me on a Sunday morning. But if their mom or dad told them to, and they refuse, then I’m not going to stand there and say it’s OK, either. It’s not about the greeting (or the lack thereof). It’s about the child’s disobedience.

I’m sure some will think obedience is antiquated, too, just like the video you shared. But since I believe that the Bible teaches that obedience to God-given authority is actually a blessing to the child, it’s my role at this point to help parents train their children to obey. It’s a training ground for learning to obey God as an adult, and that brings joy.

]]>Comment on Please stop asking the Old Lady at church to participate in your child’s disobedience by Jamie Carterhttps://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/2017/02/12/please-stop-asking-the-old-lady-at-church-to-participate-in-your-childs-disobedience/#comment-188
Mon, 13 Feb 2017 04:24:28 +0000http://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/?p=794#comment-188Something about all of this … it reminds me of the video I just watched about how to host a formal tea party for young women set in the 1940s; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m2hSNyZUvc
I’m just glad that we don’t have to worry about the formal introductions and ideas about greeting protocol that existed back in the day. I had always assumed that kids were like sponges who watch what we do and then replicate it. If your kids don’t see you greeting *everyone*; then they’re less likely to try to emulate that. Instead of trying to push the little ones into a social situation they wouldn’t see you interact in, perhaps the best thing to do is to set the example. Perhaps explain the whats and the whys.
]]>Comment on Please stop asking the Old Lady at church to participate in your child’s disobedience by Lauriehttps://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/2017/02/12/please-stop-asking-the-old-lady-at-church-to-participate-in-your-childs-disobedience/#comment-187
Mon, 13 Feb 2017 02:51:10 +0000http://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/?p=794#comment-187Hi Jamie:

Thanks for your thoughtful comment. I absolutely agree with you that disobedience is not necessarily at the core of this kind of scenario – at least it doesn’t necessarily start out that way. I actually think parents often unintentionally make it into one! And, for what it’s worth, I’m not even advocating that kids be forced into saying “hi” to everyone who says “hi” to them. The scenario I painted was one of familiarity, and we do need to teach kids to be polite and respectful, but I get it – some kids have a much harder time with this than others.

Most of the parents I meet who have children with disabilities are keenly aware of what their kids can and cannot do. Parents of children with autism spectrum disorder (or some other issue that would make greeting someone exceedingly difficult) are daily going through all kinds of mental, social, and physical gymnastics to help their children learn to navigate the things they have trouble with. I think it would be rare for a parent with a child with these kinds of struggles to even put their child in the position of forcing the social encounter. They would be the ones to just tell Old Lady, “yeah – that’s probably beyond what we’re up to today,” or “Johnny doesn’t speak to people outside the family yet, but we’re working on it,” or whatever. It would be really unusual for a parent who has a child struggling so to say, “Say ‘hi’ to Old Lady, Johnny.” and really expect him to do it. So while I understand your sensitivity to their struggle, they are not the kids who are flat out refusing to obey their parents.

What I’m trying to say is that if it’s important to you for your kids to greet people appropriately (and it is for most parents, and rightfully so when everything is clicking along pretty normally), then set your kids up for success rather than putting them in a position to get away with disobeying you – and then asking Old Lady to go along with it. If you have a very, very shy child, then help him or her while enlisting the help of Old Lady, too. It may take a whole year of working on it every single Sunday morning, but then you are all working together to help this little one learn something that you want them to learn. She will learn that you trust that Old Lady is safe to say hello to, we do this every Sunday, and you have confidence that your child can, too. That would be, “we’re working on this Old Lady – can you practice with us?” which is very different from “say ‘hi’ to Old Lady.” Some kids are shy, some are fearful, some are just introverted. Some don’t care for the noise, the hall-way small talk, or the seeming chaos that happens on Sunday mornings (or whenever). At some point even kids who are shy, or fearful, or introverts need to learn to navigate these kinds of things, and what I’m trying to say, and perhaps didn’t say as clearly as I’d hoped, is that it’s better for you and your child if you have Old Lady on your side and helping you than it is to set the situation up for your child to disobey you and asking Old Lady to wink and say, “Oh, don’t worry, it’s OK.”

It IS OK for kids to need time and help to learn social skills. And kudos to every mom and dad who struggles through the long and arduous process of helping them grow into confident adults who possess both skills and graces. But it’s NOT OK to ask your child to do something and then do nothing if they don’t obey. If we know a child can’t do what we’ve asked them to do, we probably shouldn’t be asking them to do it – that is setting them up for failure. But if we ask them to do something we know they can do, and they don’t do it, then we must follow through with loving discipline, as the Bible says every good parent should. The older ladies in your circles are some of your best, but most under-used, assets. Glean everything you can from them. They’ve been where you are, they’ve navigated the same hard roads, and they’ve lived to tell – and teach – the story.

I hope this clarifies things more and is helpful. Please feel free to comment again, and every blessing on your parenting efforts. God, who has entrusted you with a most valuable human soul, will also provide everything you need to parent him or her well.

Laurie

]]>Comment on Please stop asking the Old Lady at church to participate in your child’s disobedience by Jamie Carterhttps://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/2017/02/12/please-stop-asking-the-old-lady-at-church-to-participate-in-your-childs-disobedience/#comment-186
Sun, 12 Feb 2017 21:59:51 +0000http://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/?p=794#comment-186What about little ones on the autism scale? The more you force a social encounter, the more frustrating and exasperating the situation becomes as it blows itself out of proportion. You seem to think that disobedience is the core of the problem; but not consider that disability is a possibility. I see a lot of shy kids – and for them, it’s a strange world. Being taught that there’s such a thing as stranger danger, and yet being taught to greet everyone who is strange to them as if they’re not dangerous. Perhaps it’s the adults that are sending mixed messages.
]]>Comment on I’ve already failed… by Lauriehttps://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/2017/01/10/ive-already-failed/#comment-185
Fri, 10 Feb 2017 23:29:58 +0000http://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/?p=485#comment-185Thanks, Wendy. Sometimes I’ve been convicted about loving the notes in my old Bible more than the Word itself…ouch! Thanks for your thoughts!
]]>Comment on I’ve already failed… by Wendy hillhttps://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/2017/01/10/ive-already-failed/#comment-184
Fri, 10 Feb 2017 21:49:31 +0000http://surprisingordinary.wordpress.com/?p=485#comment-184It was a new Bible that transformed my reading commitment. My old one had literally fallen apart and I was deeply saddened to have to start anew because, after all, all my private marginal notes and underlined verses were in the old one. But, then, I wanted to mark up the new one – to find afresh things to underline and make note of.

A year ago, I came across a blog devoted to plans for Scripture writing (www.swtblessings.com) and I have incorporated that, as well, to my daily time. It doesn’t take long (a few verses each day), but I love the infusion of meaningful verses into the start of my morning.

You are so right about the advantages and blessings of immersion in the love letter from the Father. Thanks for sharing your insight and encouragement.