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THANK YOU FOR MAKING Shattered Reality a 2010 WINNER!!

Child Sexual Assault.

What do you think when you hear those words? It won’t ever happen to my child. My children know all about “Stranger Danger”. My child will never fall prey. My child will tell me if someone tries to hurt them. I will know if something is wrong.

Think again!

Child sexual assault is one of the horrific silent epidemics that is hurting children all over the world. It will affect one in 3 girls and one in 7 boys by the time they are 18 years old. Yet it is something that no one wants to talk about. There seems to be a disconnect in believing humans capable of such behavior and insisting it exists. The concept is hard to grasp but is very much a reality. So, as parents how do we protect our children from such things occurring? Education and prevention are key and as adults we are the one responsible for prevention. To do this, we need to arm our children with as much information as possible and we also need to believe our children should they report abuse to us.

DID YOU KNOW?

*Every 10 SECONDS a child is abused, raped or killed in the U.S. *Today up to 5 children will die from abuse or neglect *In 13 seconds, another child will be abused in the U.S *ONLY 28% of the children identified as harmed by abuse are investigated *85% of the 1.2 - 1.5 million runaways are fleeing abuse at home *Today 6 children will commit suicide *Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death (ages 15-24) *Untreated child abuse increases the likelihood of arrest for a violent crime by 38 percent *60 MILLION survivors are former victims of child sexual abuse in America today *38% of all women & 20% of all men have been sexually abused by the end of adolescence *The typical child sex offender molests an average of 117 children--most of whom do not report the offense ~~~ Imagine the outcry if these statistics represented a disease, which was wiping out 5 children per day, victimizing millions, and who's by-products where disabilities & expanding violence. Youth rights are really about human rights, and simple empathy is a giant first step to the benefits of increased awareness. The high jump in child abuse statistics shows the importance of youth rights by showing cases of frightening lack of knowledge!!~~~ ....Go ahead....

IT'S TIME TO GET ANGRY ABOUT CHILD ABUSE IN OUR NATION!!

The saddest fact about Child Sexual Assault is the lack of knowledge and education that still exists on the subject. DO YOU REALIZE that close to 95% of all offenders are KNOWN to the victim?? They are not those scary monsters you see on Criminal Minds and Law and Order. They are the EVERYDAY people in our lives! The very ones we trust and love and children need to know it’s okay to tell and we will believe. Silence, Ignorance and Apathy are the Child Predator's Greatest Allies!

What can we do?

Traditional sexual abuse programs refer to themselves as prevention programs, and by doing so, set the expectation that children can and should stop sexual abuse. That is an unfair expectation. To truly prevent something is to stop it before it happens. The only people who can prevent abuse are the perpetrators. So, prevention programs should be targeted at perpetrators, adults and teens and even society as a whole-but not children. Prevention is not the job of children. Society doesn’t expect children to prevent, or even stop, physical abuse. Programs to prevent physical abuse are targeted at adults. So, why do we expect children to prevent, or even stop, sexual abuse? That is an unreasonable expectation.

While it is unfair to EXPECT children to prevent or stop physical or sexual abuse, it is also unfair to fail to provide them with information, skills and an environment of openness that may help them to avoid, stop or tell about abusive experiences. It is important that the education we provide to children be presented in a way that is helpful to all children and does not inadvertently increase the feelings of guilt and shame experienced by children who have already suffered from abuse or who experiences abuse after the education is provided.

Once Again – Thank you all for making Shattered Reality a success – a winning book, helping other parents understand the effects sexual assault has on entire families and hopefully one day – with many voices – making a change in our legal system when it comes to educating prosecutors, judges, juries, advocates about the mindset, the fragility, the special needs of our small victims when it comes time to prosecute offenders.

Just like our Country has made a difference for those in Haiti – WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE FOR OUR OWN CHILDREN!

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Readers of Shattered Reality will:

* Realize a deeper understanding on the effects of child abuse not only on the victim but on the family * Learn that hope is always within reach and others who have been there that can help * Discover how surviving abuse (even as a parent/caregiver or family member)can become personal strength. * Gain insights into putting the pieces back together again and reclaiming your rights * Believe that happiness can be achieve

In the grand scale of things I am just a tiny and insignificant writer with a modest following. No matter the number, I am so grateful to all of those who take their time to read what I present. Those who take the time to judge me by the content of my writings will understand that I have a very simple and humble message to share. My work is about real people, relationships and experiences that we can all learn from. My quest as a writer is certainly not about me, for I am far too unimportant. I am just a student of the world; a minuscule, and frail embodied consciousness struggling to understand, and be a meaningful part of this great, mysterious play of life, which is set on the stage of our baffling home in the universe.

Like most people, I have been carried where I am by the currents of life. I have one oar in the water, and do what I can against the rushing forces that surround me, but I know that I am mostly just along for the ride.

Thank you for sharing the ride with me...(You can buy your copy today at: Amazon, Barnes and Noble,)

I don't know where to begin with this book because I know my review cannot do it justice!

Shattered Reality is the true story of a mother who finds out a beloved uncle has been sexually abusing her daughter. It is a story that fired up so many emotions in me- anger, frustration, confusion, sadness, sympathy (but not pity, never pity- they are too strong for that). It was definitely an emotional read, but one that I think is long, long overdue.

The book is written in a sort-of diary format. Cheryl shares her deepest fears, most inflamed emotions, and most irrational thoughts. What surprised me and horrified me was that when she and her daughter were going through all of this was that there were no resources available for them on how to deal with sexual assault and its aftermath. What? How can this be? Isn't there a book on everything these days? Including how to get into the porn industry and how to make a bomb?

But, it's true. This is why she wrote this book and shared her very personal story with the world. She did not want anyone else to face their own similar crisis without a place they could turn to that said 'you're not alone' and 'it is normal to feel this way'. I am so glad she did, too. Even though I am fortunate enough not to have been sexually abused, I know what it is like to have something happen in your life and want to run and be able to find answers to it- and now.

The true story of the way the "justice system" runs in America for those who are victims of sexual abuse is enough to make you outraged. In fact, if you aren't outraged by the way our legal system handles these cases when you finish reading this book, then you weren't paying attention. It's despicable. I recommend reading the book on this note alone. But there is so much more to the story than that.

Cheryl gives parents of children who have been sexually abused a book to help them process what has happened to their child and their family, a book to tell them they are not alone in their journey, and a book that opens the door to, what I can only hope, are many more resources on sexual abuse in the future.

This book was a very difficult book to read. In fact, even the review was a difficult review to write. The subject matter is so emotional and intense. But it is a book that is so important to read. Their story needs to be shared with others and there are a vast number of resources in the book to help those who are being/have been/might know someone who has been sexually abused.

I want to share two quotes here that stood out to me while reading this book. They touched me deeply and I think they will touch you as well. *It is important to note that while the subject matter is about sexual abuse, Cheryl does not go into great detail and specifics as far as the sexual part goes.*

"One evening we (daughter and mother) were sitting on the lawn picking flowers and pulling the petals off until they were gone, and all that was left was the yellow-gold circle; dimmer than the white in the natural light left from the day, but still visible. It was funny, she said, how up until you pulled the last petal off, it was beautiful. A symbol of love. But once your fortune was told, it didn't remind anyone of love anymore and it wasn't beautiful. It was a mutilated flower. A deflowered flower. Something to throw away. That's how she felt after the abuse." pg. 106

And this quote, which resonated with me for a lot of different reasons, was my favorite:

"I've discovered that any life event can make you go forward, or backward, or neither, but gradually you find all your pieces, your important pieces, and they will stay with you, so that you're your whole self no matter where you go from there." pg. 135

5.0 out of 5 stars 4 1/2 Stars...From a Father's Perspective, March 29, 2009By Eric Wilson "novelist" (Nashville, TN United States) - Author of Fireproof(TOP 100 REVIEWER) As a father of two teen daughters, as the husband of a woman who endured childhood abuse, I find this subject heart-rending but vital. So often, our society tries to quiet the voices of the victims because of the uncomfortable repercussions within families, jobs, churches, schools, etc.

Kimberly Cheryl brings her own heartache to the page, refusing to be silenced. In "Shattered Reality," Cheryl pours emotion into her words, giving us enough detail to feel her and her daughter's pain without giving undue attention to the acts themselves. I had planned to read this book in another month or two, after finishing a project, but I found myself flipping through the pages, unable to pull myself away from this candid, painful, yet ultimately insightful account. It contains a number of editing errors, but that did not stop me from reading through the entire thing in one sitting.

Do we find absolution in these pages? Not really. The justice system continues to do a pitiful job of protecting the abused, with a jaundiced male eye turned toward the perpetrators and the "overly-emotional" mothers involved. As a father, I would find it hard not to pick up a dull knife and end the perpetrator's possibilities of further abuse, but of course that too is an emotional reaction. Where do we go, though? When families and the law stand opposed to the truth, when they try to protect the status quo at the cost of young lives, I find myself livid.

Cheryl has opened her heart to share her own family's story. I would've loved to hear more of the father's point of view or involvement, but the words here are potent. The drawings done by her daughter are also moving. If only we could look past outward appearances and stop pointing fingers at young women and men who don't look "acceptable," we might find that many of them are covering hurts that go very deep.

Understandably, Cheryl says she'll never forgive. She says she'll never forget. My wife has never forgotten either, but she would say that forgiveness has been vital in her long-term healing, letting go of the need to exact a penalty for wrongs done and instead holding onto a future with men, women, and family who know how to love safely and unconditionally.

"Shattered Reality" is not only an honest and easy-to-read account, it contains a wealth of helpful resources at the end. It would be a great companion piece in the literature for any who have endured abuse, first or secondhand.

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