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In a stunning and surprising announcement Pizzota CEO, Ihavi Nocluei, is having himself recalled.The Pizzaonian national emergency caused by the stalling of more than eight million Pizzota automobiles on the highways and city streets of Pizzaonia prompted Mr. Nocluei’s decision.

“Recalling eight million cars is not possible.It only makes sense to recall myself instead.I will submit to whatever is necessary to bring this crisis to a close,” said Mr. Nocluei.

Mr. Nocluei will undergo a series of psychological and physical tests to determine if his leadership was responsible for the crisis.The results will be released in three years.

In the meanwhile, outlying Pizzaonia provinces have been responding to the plea for more tow trucks and bumpers to help relieve the mass congestion of Pizzaonian streets and highways.

Supreme Pizzaonian, Brother Giovanni, has asked all Pizzaonians to stay calm and continue to eat Pizzaonian Miracle Mozzarella Pizza as a calming exercise.

SUBJECT:Pizzaonian National Emergency, mass stalling of Pizzotas clogs all streets and highways.

In a frantic call for emergency assistance, the Pizzaonian Office of Occasional Emergencies issued a desperate plea for additional tow trucks and car bumpers.Pizzotas, the national car of Pizzaonia, suddenly and for no reason, began stalling on acceleration, clogging all streets and highways throughout Pizzaonia.

It is estimated that at least eight million Pizzotas are currently obstructing the streets and all traffic is completely stopped.As of now there is no explanation for this extraordinary phenomenon.

Pizzota drivers reported that when attempting to accelerate past 25 miles an hour, their cars would come to a complete stop and not go forward.Driver’s attempts to remedy the situation all met with failure.

Pizzota engineers are frantically working to solve the problem and at this time their preliminary reports indicate some kind of driver error as the cause.

SUBJECT:Pizzaonia Argument Games end with spectacular win for the Monks Cantakeri team

With a national television audience of 99.5 the Pizzaonia Argument Games ended with a spectacular win by the Monks Cantakeri team against the Bakers Orneri in the much touted Sham Health Insurance Debate.

The Argument Games are a throwback to earlier times when power and control were more important than seeking justice and truth through compromise and mutual respect.The much awaited games are staged every four years and Pizzaonians enter the spirit of the games wholeheartedly.

The Monks Cantakeri were on the verge of defeat when an Orneri speaker exceeded the time limit for speaking by one tenth of a second.Instead of the Games ending with an Orneri victory, the Monks Cantakeri were allowed a power speak as a penalty play.

Loudi Mouthelli, Cantakeri defenseman gave a daring and bold two minute, power speak presentation claiming the 30,000 page health bill was necessary because it represented the needs of the people instead of special money interests.Since hypocrisy and deception receive the highest scores, the judges awarded the Sham Debate to the Monks.

The judges felt the hypocrisy of the power statement was the edge the Monks needed to give them the slim victory.

In a throwback to an earlier evolutionary time, Pizzaonia Argument Games begin today at the Pizza digogo BakeryAcademy.The games are held every four years and have become a time for merriment and celebration for all Pizzaonians.

Since Pizzaonians now solve all problems without wars or governments, the games offer a fun way to remember earlier times when power and control were more important than seeking justice and truth through compromise and mutual respect.

Today’s opening game will be the Sham Health Insurance Debate.Participants have practiced for the last four years and the finalist were selected by the Argument Committee for their tenacity and unwillingness to comprise.

Now that the games are held in the spirit of good fun it is hard to believe that anyone could still be this way, or is it?