New parents take one long, deep look into the eyes of their baby and vow to never hurt or disappoint the child. Why then do parents nag, belittle, and get impatient?

Familiarity often breeds contempt. As time passes, we become familiar with the people we are closest to, and we stop valuing and treating them like we should. The wear and tear of daily living takes its toll, and the bright newness of once-treasured relationships begins to fade. Up close and personal, everyone’s flaws and wrinkles begin to show. Routines become ruts. Our once-prized blessings begin to weigh on us.

Sound familiar? Then it’s time to reverse the trend. That will take a conscious effort and may not be easy, especially if the problem has been going on for some time, but it can be done. Count your blessings. The quickest and surest way to return the shine to any tarnished relationship is to polish your half. Get busy being the person you set out to be at the start, and the other party will almost certainly follow suit without direct prompting.

* Motivators, therapists, and child psychologists have discovered that praise makes us stretch ourselves. In the warm glow of knowing we have pleased another, we try harder to please. Hearing that we have done well, we want to do better. —Shannon Shayler * Praise is to children what water is to flowers. Pour it on and watch them grow. —Shannon Shayler *

Everyone has good qualities. Find specific things about your children that you can sincerely compliment them on, and be generous with your praise. If you can’t find anything right off, look deeper. The harder it is to find that special “gold,” the greater the reward is likely to be for both of you when you do. If you can find even a threadlike vein and shine a little love on it in the form of praise, it will lead you straight to the mother lode. They’ll open up to you, and you’ll discover lots of wonderful things about them. —Shannon Shayler * The applause of a single human being is of great consequence. —Samuel Johnson * To love others just as they are is the ultimate compliment. —Shannon Shayler * The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved—loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. —Victor Hugo