Ex-Boyfriend Issue

I had a boyfriend from July 3013 to September 2013, I broke up with him because I heard rumors that he was cheating so I didn’t know what else to do & of course he denied the rumors but the rumors came from very close friends although they had no proof. He now has a girlfriend. About a month ago I met up with him & we hung out & also made out even though I knew I shouldn’t have but I really miss him a lot, idk if I’d call it love but I have really deep feelings for him considering he took my virginity & was my first boyfriend. He tells me he loves me & misses me k misses us but he’s still with his girlfriend. Idk what to do. Idk if I should leave him alone. But I really really want him back but I don’t see him leaving his girlfriend and I can’t stop thinking about him, I can’t move on he’s the only guy I have ever felt comfortable with & I’ve never been nervous around him.

A: Think about this: If he’s cheating on his girlfriend with you it means his capacity to make a commitment is not strong. If he is cheating on her with you — why wouldn’t he eventually be cheating on you with someone else?

Don’t set yourself up. If you want to be in a committed relationship with him tell him you don’t want to be with him while he’s still in a relationship with his girlfriend. Unless he is willing to do this you, are putting yourself in a very vulnerable and risky position.

About Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Daniel J. Tomasulo, Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP is a graduate of the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania and works as Martin Seligman's assistant instructor there. He is a licensed psychologist specializing in group psychotherapy and psychodrama and is the author of the highly acclaimed Confessions of a Former Child: A Therapist’s Memoir. Visit www.formerchild.com for more information. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.