Darlings, it was the 84th Academy Awards Nominations Luncheon, which means everyone dressed like a politician’s wife and they all pretended like they weren’t secretly wishing ruin on each other. God, we love the kabuki that is Oscar campaigning.

Hit it, grasping, desperate, clawing nominees!

Berenice Bejo in Elie Saab

Pretty enough, but a little lackluster. Seems a little shapeless on her.

Viola Davis in Juan Carlos Obando

Great dress in a great color. We even like the shoes. But we’ll always think she should ditch the wigs now.

Glenn Close in Stella McCartney

JESUS CHRIST, GLENN. Are you actively trying to look like an 80-year-old Boca retiree?

Janet McTeer

Miss Hathaway, the Clampetts will see you now.

Melissa McCarthy

She looks cute! She still seems to be of the opinion that volume is a good idea, but at least she looks like she’s having fun with her dressing up.

Meryl Streep

Mary Louise, you’re killing us here. Do you see? Do you see how, when you don’t wear some big, blousy thing you actually wind up looking several sizes smaller and a decade younger? Don’t be afraid of your body, girl. It’s in fine shape and wearing something that shows that doesn’t mean you’re not a Serious Actress.

Michelle Williams in Victoria by Victoria Beckham

Twee as fuck.

Octavia Spencer in David Meister

She looks great. She’s been returning to this shape a couple of times since she first seems to have discovered it and we’ll repeat: similarly shaped ladies would do well to look at the lessons she’s learned about what shapes and proportions work for her.

Rooney Mara in Thierry Mugler and ASOS

Typically weird, dramatic, and eye-catching. It seems strange to say this about pants, but she almost comes across a little over-dressed in comparison to the others. But the girl knows the rules: If you want that Oscar, you better get people talking about you.

Love Meryl Streep! Best I’ve seen her look in forever. She evokes a “Faye Dunaway” here, no?

Anonymous

No.

Meryl looks sane and intelligent.

Anonymous

Viola – ditch the wig and you’d be an 11 out of 10! By far the best look of all the ladies…I’m still swooning over that LA Times piece and was literally disappointed to see the wig on in that pic.

Michelle Williams now gives me flashbacks of when I cut all the hair off my Skipper doll. And, seriously, Rooney Mara, bleh. I’m over you….she seems like she’s trying to be the character she played and it reads shitty/forced to me.

It’s not the outfit, but the facial expression (of which I should have been clearer). The look on her face doesn’t seem natural to me and it distracts me from EVERYTHING she wears because it seems forced. I can appreciate the clothes, but her (to me) forced demeanor is SO off-putting.

Totally agree. She ruins every interesting thing she wears with that “I am a serious actress” look on her face.

Anonymous

I’m not sure what part of Rooney’s ensemble you think Lisbeth Salander would wear…

Anonymous

Yeah, I was totally unclear…it’s the expression, not the clothes. It just reads false to me and it’s distracting when I look at her I get stuck on that pissy face, rather than looking at her clothes

Anonymous

I agree with you about Rooney. Bleh. Sick of the deer in the headlights playacting and posing. Like a child stuck on the red carpet for the first time. Knock it off. Same with Michelle. Her look off the red carpet is usually head turning; on the red carpet ‘twee as fuck’.
Melissa – please find someone to make you a dress that doesn’t use 5 yards of fabric. You look pretty and happy but the dress isn’t doing you any favors.

Anonymous

Yes! You said it better than me…it’s phony and grating. If you check out red carpet pics from movies before GWADT she’s not had that constant sullenness to her.

If you look at her a year ago Rooney has the same face (i think a deer in headlights is how her face is) but lots of boring blush tones and uber femme dresses. This look is MUCH better.

Anonymous

I have absolutely nothing against her fashion look. I think she takes risks and is usually successful. But, I have seen her with make-up properly applied and she is a beautiful woman who has looked confident on the carpet. This minimalist make-up routine with the clasped hands looks like such play-acting (because we HAVE seen better) that it’s a tad offensive to me. She could have been caught at a bad moment but if that’s the case, she has many of those.

Meryl is of the age where a lady wasn’t dressed without stocking, no matter what the shoes. I, too, am of that age, and I am always struck by women wearing dresses worth thousands and shoes in the high hundreds and no stockings. Their feet are sweating into those shoes – YUCK!!!!

Now that Octavia Spencer is managing a bit of a smile, she looks so much prettier. That dress looks great on her.

I want Meryl Streep’s dress because it would look great on me.

Viola Dace looks lovely, but you are right, she would looks SPECTACULAR in this dress with her own locks.

Anonymous

Michelle Williams’ dress is ugly and shapeless and the shoes don’t go. Well, since her shoes are so dark, they are blending into the carpet, so I can’t really see the shoes and it gives the illusion she doesn’t have toes.

Aubrey Anderson-Emmons (Lily on Modern Family) is too old for that dress.

Anonymous

Octavia FTW. This is the first awards season runway photo that I’ve seen of her with something resembling a smile. To quote some long lost poet, “she is bangin’!”

Honorable mentions: Viola, Melissa and Meryl

And Michelle Williams needs to stop turning to her toddler for styling advice.

Anonymous

Seriously, her dress has rain clouds. It’s like her daughter implored her to dress up to the theme of the Itsy Bitsy Spider.

Anonymous

I just realized that Victoria “I don’t know what a smile is” designed a twee dress with clouds. Only she could turn a popular babies’ room theme into such a dour look. Or maybe the clouds realize they don’t belong at this event and they’re super sad. They just need Elmo to run out and sing a song. JM&O this look just gets more ridiculous.

Anonymous

OMG…I don’t know why I’m shocked Posh designed this. It’s so odd to see a juxtaposition between dour and Teddy Ruxbin.

In this group it’s the skinny ones who look a bit under par/shapeless.

Terence Ng

I actually think that Glenn looks good. It’s colorful and fun, but still formal, and the clothes themselves look good in quality. Hard to pull off, but with her, she’s got it.

Anonymous

Oh! So happy to see Melissa McCarthy there 🙂

Anonymous

I can’t look at Viola Davis wearing wigs any more–not after that amazing LA Times spread. But Olivia Spencer looks better with every appearance–she’s positively beautiful here.

Glenn. What the fuck? Are you going to Loehmann’s after the luncheon?

If Meryl Streep would wear a longer version of this dress to the Oscars, she would look lovely. She actually put some effort in this time, and it paid off. However, if you’re wearing hose (and you should be), you need to wear closed-toed shoes.

Anonymous

Exactly how I feel about Viola…that whole look would be elevated without the wig. I can still appreciate her utter badassery, but I cannot abide covering her beautiful, natural look with those wigs.

And Loehmann’s…bwahahaha…nicely played. I honestly feel like she’s about to ask the photographer where Captain Stubbing is…she belongs on the Ledo deck.

Though I agree Viola looks AMAZING without the wigs I don’t think she should be limited to only rocking that one look. As an owner of a TWA (tiny weeny afro) myself that is currently growing out, I would have loved the chance to use wigs to change up my looks at a moment’s notice without doing any damage to my real hair.

Lori

Good Lord, what was Glenn Close thinking? I feel another rant about how much I hate Stella McCartney as a designer coming on. I’m going to do everyone a big favor and just go have some more caffeine instead, but seriously, I hate Stella McCartney’s work.

Anonymous

Completely agree. I can honestly say I have never seen anything by Stella that I liked.

Anonymous

Scrolling down, I thought it was Betty White at first glance. I would be fine with that outfit on Betty White.

Call me Bee

I dunno ’bout that. I think even Betty would look like a Boca retiree in that getup. Both Glenn and Betty are better than this outfit.

I think Rooney wins this round. She does her own thing without being garish or inappropriate. Most of the other dresses just sort of blend together for me. She stands out.

Anonymous

I don’t get the appeal of Stella McCartney. She did a few nicely cut trouser suits years back, but since then? Ugh. She’s a menace to the red (or any other) carpet.

Anonymous

Michelle Williams is starting to look like a possessed Kewpie doll to me. Ugh. Do not want. Melissa McCarthy looks great- that color is stunning on her.

Anonymous

Michelle needs to muss up her hair a bit – sex it up. The dress is awful, no way to save it.

I think Melissa should wear something with less volume. I understand where she’s coming from; most large women think folds cover your flaws and make you look thinner, but they just make you look sloppy.

You should have put Berneice with her brown hair and purple dress as the thumbnail image. Just to fuck with the layout a little more 🙂

MilaXX

Berenice Bejo- Kinda boring and to quote Wendy Williams, that waist line needs to be snatched.Viola Davis – Pretty, but it would look so much better with her twa & some nice earrings.
Glenn Close – I like the pants, but that coat is hideous and the hair is tragic. I don’t get it, she’s so well dressed on Damages, does she not see that?
Janet McTeer – YIKES! She looks like someone running for local city government, all dull clothes and sensible shoes.
Melissa McCarthy – TLo I think you’re being kind to the fat chick. This is awful.That’s a shapeless fat lady dress, but even if you like the dress how can you cosign on those chains? That’s as bad as Vanessa Hudgins and her many rings from the other day. I like the color, but that’s it. I think she’s dressing herself instead of using a stylist. It show because she always seems to just miss the mark.
Meryl Streep – Much improved, she looks pretty good here.
Michelle Williams – Awful. The blue bits looks a little like carebears so it makes it sickeningly twee. On top of that it’s completely shapeless.
Octavia Spencer – So glad she figured thing out. I almost wish she would go speak to Melissa because this dress in the blue fabric she is wearing would be really pretty on her.
Rooney Mara – Not 100% in love with this look. The pants seem a tiny bit too long, yet somehow this works for her.

Anonymous

Viola, throw out your wigs NOW!

Anonymous

Maybe Michelle is trying to say “don’t rain on my parade”?

Miss Hathaway!! Now I’ll be giggling all morning over by the see-ment pond.

Meryl is beaming, Rooney’s make up is better, love the jacket. Everyone else ok. Michelle Williams took it too far sadly- i’m more embarrassed for Victoria Beckham, that dress is just so naive, me no like.

Anonymous

Ugh. Michelle Williams looks like my Easter Sunday photo from when I was 5. All she needs is a white hat & gloves. Meryl is KILLIN’ it, and I totally agree with the rest of your assessments. Melissa McCarthy should ask Octavia who her stylist is, although she’s looking better lately (not perfect though).

“JESUS CHRIST, GLENN. Are you actively trying to look like an 80-year-old Boca retiree?”

I hear ya. What in hell was she thinking? She wins for worst-dressed.

I usually don’t mind Michelle Williams’ twee style, but that dress is awful. That’s something you’d wear to a cook-out, and you’d have your bathing suit on under it.

I love Ms. Mara’s pants, but the top and the jacket aren’t working.

Melissa looks pretty, because she’s always pretty. I agree she just needs to work on the volume of her clothes. I’m so glad that she’s getting some attention now. She’s really talented.

Meryl looks fantastic. Octavia takes it.

Brad and Anne White

Don’t they have anyone to dust Oscar’s base? Look at Octavia’s pic to see the dirt. 🙂

Anonymous

Oh Bejo, this isn’t dinner out with few suburban mom friends! (I say that as a suburban mom.)

The Miss Hathaway comment provided my first belly laugh of the day.

And yay for Streep!! She looks so much better than she has lately.

Anonymous

Are we 100% sure Michelle Williams isn’t wearing Victoria Beckham’s children line in here?

WERQ, Octavia and Meryl!

Anonymous

Glenn WTH??? LOL.

Cathy S

Meryl and Rooney Mara. Very nice. I like the color of Viola’s dress, but not the shape, and I hate her shoes. I do wish she’d go without the wigs though; her natural hair is fabulous. And sue me, I like Janet McTeer’s suit. Admittedly she looks like she’s off to a business lunch, but it’s got a nice shape and it fits her well.

Rebecca Johnson

I have a total ladycrush on Rooney Mara, based solely on what she wears and how she styles her hair. Shallow, yet satisfying.

Anonymous

My grandma was a retiree from Boca Raton and she never wore anything quite so hideous.

Meryl and Octavia are dressing as winners.

Vaniljekjeks

Rooney <3

Anonymous

Michelle W.: Raiding the wardrobe of a sweet Tokyo tween (I give you more margin than most, Michelle, but you have tested my patience for the last time).

Rooney M.: Don’t laugh, y’all, but there’s something about the jacket that works wonderfully with her ears (esp. in close-up shots). Adorable!

Anonymous

My vote for the win: Viola Davis in that fabulous pink. Other pointers (this judging business has gone to my head):

“Twee as fuck.” Now, that’s line for the ages. Volumes spoken in just three little words.

Meryl Streep – yowza!! If she can do that, why in God’s name doesn’t she??! As in all the time??! (Though I think sheer hose would’ve been better than black. But given that this is such an enormous improvement, that’s small potatoes.)”JESUS CHRIST, GLENN. Are you actively trying to look like an 80-year-old Boca retiree?” Funny, because I saw the outfit before I saw the face and that’s exactly what I saw: Seinfeld’s mother, Golden Girls, whatever. (Though I do kind of like the narrow pants.)

Loved Meryl. She should wear this everyday and for any function from now on.

Jessica Goldstein

Meryl: I had no idea she still had that figure? No excuses for billowing frump from here on out!
Viola: Good as is. Would have been great with the natural hair.
Michelle: Not just twee, also infantile and shapeless. I really hate this one.

Kyle Crawford

per Janet McTeer : I don’t see anything at all wrong with wearing a simple grey suit to a day time event… she only failed in not adding some interest, some color, some pop….That and she is sort of unknown, so maybe no one offered her anything free , I mean Michelle and Glenn both got free stuff and look where they ended up! What is the bigger crime boring or silly ?

Anonymous

I don’t think I have ever seen Meryl Streep look better. This is a perfect dress for her. Octavia Spencer is looking sophisticated and beautiful here, too. And then there’s that little pixie Michelle Williams. I am so sick of her I could puke. That whole “I was so busy with my daughter that I forgot about the nominations” crap was just too much. She must think her fans are idiots.

Must Agreewith my fellow bloggers Mary Louise for the win and Octavia Spencer for the first runner up!

Rock It Girls!

Anonymous

Love Meryl, aka Mary Louise!! Hope she wins and wears a Chris March to the ceremonies!!! I think Michelle Williams’ problem is in how she stands, also. Look at those hands – they look like the Barbie pose from that horrendous Toddlers and Tiaras, the one Kathy Griffin made fun of!

Anonymous

You guys are in fine form this (still) morning (in Oakland). Thanks for being such a sunny part of my (otherwise rainy) day.

How could Michelle’s dress be a Victoria Beckham? It is, like, well, I’m, I, um. Hmmm. It has clouds and shiny things on it. I keep thinking it is a White Cloud toilet paper ad printed on a shift dress. Lordy.

I just woke my boyfriend up yelling – omg are those RAINCLOUDS?! FFS, Michelle. You’re not a toddler.

Anonymous

I have to keep reminding myself I once found Michelle Willliams to be the most glamorous gal on the red carpet (the year she wore the yellow Vera Wang, had a soft loose bun, and red red lips, I think when she was still with Heath). Because God knows it’s like she’s another woman altogether anymore.

Call me Bee

Michele Williams–Twee as fuck indeed!! Clouds, yet? oy.
Meryl looks fabulous here, as do Melissa and Viola. I laughed so hard at Glenn and Ms. McTeer. How many young people had to look up Miss Hathaway??!? Thanks for the giggle.

Anonymous

“Miss Hathaway, the Clampetts will see you now.”
Oh my god I love it. Spot on.

Also, I think it’s time for Michelle to grow her hair out. It looks ridiculous.

Anonymous

Mary Louise for the win (and the Oscar). I listened to an interview she gave Terry Gross on Fresh Air about the process of becoming Margaret Thatcher. I haven’t even seen the movie and I want her to win. Fascinating insider details. She’s lovely to look at here, and quite lovely to listen to in her own voice. An actor who takes her craft very seriously, and herself, not too seriously.

Rooney Mara’s outfit is lovely. I really dig the way that girl puts herself together and the choices she makes. I want to introduce Rooney to Berenice and tell Bernie there to kick it up a notch.
I love Michelle’s dress. On Vicky B. it wouldn’t look twee; it would look chic. Maybe those rosy cheeks and pixie cut just magically turn everything Michelle wears into twee?

Anonymous

You’re absolutely right, check out the link below with Danielle Lineker wearing it — she doesn’t look half as twee as MW, even with the matchy-matchy shoes.

Anonymous

Somehow the clouds in Michelle’s dress seem to have smiley faces????? Love Rooney (as usual) and hurray for Mary Louise and her form-fitting dress!!!!
by the way, Glenn Close is wearing Stella McCartney, which (if I’m not mistaken) has been also responsible for some of Mary Louise unfortunate looks of late….. I’d say: Ladies, stay away from Stella!

Anonymous

I love Michelle’s Vicky B. dress and just wish she had stood up straight! Really really cute dress. Stella McC continues to prove that her clothes are yuck — And re Viola Davis looking so much better in her real, natural hair — of course! This has been true for generations now. Let’s hope it sticks.

Anonymous

Jezzacripes, can Michelle Williams at least try to STAND like an adult and not some kid at the playground.

Melissa McCarthy is KILLING IT. I have no problem with the added volume — I think it’s great, in fact. As a big girl, I am tired as hell of the idea that we’re always supposed to be trying to look as tiny as possible.

Rooney is also amazing as ever, and I love her for mixing ASOS and Mugler.

Susan Crawford

Viola looks great, and I agree 1000% about ditching the fake hair – she is GLORIOUS without the wigs.
Octavia and David Meister are a fantastic combination.
Janet McTeer – channeling my terrifying college Latin professor. “Now, Miss Crawford, shall we discuss the passive pariphrastic?”
Glenn, let me say this most sincerely: Stella is NOT your friend. And this is the Nominees Luncheon, not the Early Bird Special!
Meryl – Do you see what a well-fitted dress can do? You look KILLER!
Melissa – Your inner joyfulness and zest outshines ANYTHING you wear. I bow to you.
Rooney – Heading for Tilda-land in a few years. Love her edge, her cool and her whole vibe.
Michelle – Back to Wendy in the Nursery. And yet one more shot of her TERRIBLE posture! Gaaaah!
Ms. Bejo – great little dress, super color, but a better bra would pep everything up.

Octavia has never looked better! And love that she is starting to be more playful in her accessories, with that leopard clutch. Next stop, the shoes!

Anonymous

why does michelle williams rarely have a purse?

Anonymous

That Hawaiian housecoat Glenn Close is wearing is pretty bizarre but the dress from the children’s department that Michelle Williams is wearing is much worse. Octavia Spencer just keeps getting better and better, she looks great.

I think usually Michelle looks lovely (thinking of a recent red striped maybe Chanel outfit) and I don’t mind that she looks serious, like she’s pondering the meaning of life and death all the time (maybe she is!). But rain clouds? After what she achieved in Blue Valentine?? It boggles my mind.

Judy_J

I’m a believer. Viola needs to give all her wigs to charity and start sporting her own glorious head of hair. She looked fabulous in that LA Times spread. Oh, and your Miss Jane comment made me laugh out loud, and I needed that today. Thanks.

“when you don’t wear some big, blousy thing you actually wind up looking several sizes smaller and a decade younger?”

I have a date coming up with someone I haven’t talked to in 4 years and haven’t seen in 5 years. With this directive, along with the Streeptastic photographic proof of same, the question of “blue dress vs. flowy pants/blousy blouse” has been definitively decided.

Thanks, boys!

Love,
Lady in The Blue Dress

Anonymous

STOP IT RIGHT NOW AUDREY BOT. Love her.

Anonymous

Great jacket on Rooney Mara. Viola Davis has incredibly striking eyes, and that wig really covers them up. If she went without she would be positively arresting.

I am surprised that a Victoria Beckham dress could look twee, but I think that one would even if it were on the First Fembot herself. It makes me think of Grumpy Bear (great for a nursery, not going to garner respect in an Oscar race)

Anonymous

Michelle Williams’ dress looks like it was a three year old’s art project.

Octavia is in the zone now, looking sharp as fuck here.

Melissa needs to lose some of that fabric, a sleeker silhouette would have totally turned this cute look into va-va-voom.

Lisa

“Miss Hathaway” – HAAAA!!!

I was starting to like Michelle Williams in her past few go-rounds, and now I can’t stand her again. This is just gross. From the cutesie poo dress to the “It’s my first day of kindergarten” way she’s standing – she totally lost me again.

Berenice Bejo totally reminds me of Natalie Wood. Something in the eyes and the smile in her pictures. I haven’t seen the movie yet, nor have I really seen her in action, but standing there, smiling, totally.

k op

I have no where else to express this but…

I loathe Michele Williams with the heat of a thousand suns. I hate her lisping baby acting style, little girl banging her tiny fists on Big Man’s chest, her fucking poses like she’s reciting a poem in front of her 3rd grade, her affected retro-baby doll way of speaking. All this is only confirmed by her choices in fashion.

People have told me that she is a shy person. The why pick such a public profession like film acting? I find her painful to watch in movies with her immature gesturing and limping around, knock kneed in a fuddle. I sit in the theater and wince waiting for her to start sucking her thumb.

There, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, Rooney Mara is rocking it, so far, sartorially speaking. It’s been a long time since an actress dressed with such verve and a fresh POV.

Anonymous

missy meryl deserves a werq!!!

Anonymous

why oh why does viola davis insist on wearing that hair? is hollywood really still so very racist that she feels like she has to look like julia most of the time to get work? her dress is gorgeous, it’s inspired me to at least think about wearing my similar one tomorrow when i have to go to the bank. i am not looking forward to tomorrow, come to think of it. then again, cant remember the last time i was.

part of the thing w/ meryl streep, at least in this photo, is she figured out how to use the foliage’s backshadows for her own benefit. thats certainly not all of it but it’s part of it & the part of it that it is, is clever.

i think the entire internet might rise up as one, maybe in a mini-version of the way it did for PIPA & SOPA &, in a less heated manner, tell michelle williams it’s time to leave her daughter’s dresses to her daughter. i felt very bad for her for a long while, if pressed i probably still do & i believe i can assure that for once nearly all of the known wired world is w/ me. but it’s finally time, it’s probably past time, to halt the worn stagnation of mourning in its tracks. i get it, i unfortunately know entirely too well how it is, but this has stopped working, is no longer doing any favors, etc &, exhaustedly, ect.

i would bet you just about anything that that is almost the equatorial, maybe, opposite of what stella mccartney had in mind when she made that jacket. i would say polar but, well, you know. equatorial is wrong, obviously, but i cant think of something that would work instead. i would take suggestions.