JoyGasm is asking Conscious Leaders to share their practices of Self Love​ that help them stay strong, focused and powerful as they champion their mission to change the world.

If you only ﻿had﻿ 10 minutes a day for Self Care, what would ﻿you ﻿DO?

Valerie Greene
Relationship Coach

Feel the feelings that go along with that magical experience...

It's important that I move my body with some kind of yoga, pilates, or dance. Being in my head might get things done, but love is an emotional experience that can only be felt in my body, so if I'm not exercising, I don't feel any positive emotion as strongly as when I am.

After that, it's important that I do even one minute of visualization around who I really want to be. For example, I say "I am a clear channel for love, wisdom, and empowerment." [those are my top values] And I visualize how my day will go when I'm embodying those values. How will I hold myself? Who will I meet with and what will I say and do with them? How will that feel? What would be the best, most magical and inspiring thing that can happen today? And I really see the colors, hear the sounds, and feel the feelings that go along with that magical experience. That shifts my energy and gets me connected to feeling the excitement of love and possibility.

What is your take on self love? Why is it important?

My experience of love is the realization that all life is connected, deserving of compassion, acceptance, empathy, and care. When I experience this I feel a surge of pleasurable energy, warmth, and joy in my heart. This feels like the truth of who I am, and it's what makes life worth living. When I am busy, I get disconnected from this feeling and I lose sight of who I really am and why I'm doing what I'm doing. That's why it is so important that I connect to this feeling and this experience every day, because otherwise I feel depleted instead of energized.

How did you start your journey of self love? What started you on your path?

I was lucky to have parents who modeled love for me, which is how we learn to love ourselves. My mom taught me that there are no "bad" people, just "bad" things that people do when they are in pain. Even though I learned this at a young age, I of course experienced a lot of pain when relationships failed in my 20's or when I got my heart broken; especially when I got divorced in my early 30's. This is when I sought out the most effective teachers of self love, and spent years practicing yoga, meditation, self-compassion, NLP, coaching, hypnosis, and other emotional healing modalities.

I found what worked best for me and created my own self-love practices that allowed my coaching clients to have breakthroughs in their own ability to experience self-love and profound romantic love with others, so I'm grateful for the pain I've experienced in my life because it lead me to learn how to heal it and help others heal, to experience more love, intimacy, and passion in their lives.

What is your biggest challenge or temptation when it comes to caring for yourself?

As an entrepreneur I sometimes experience that I don't have enough time to meditate or do as much self care as I like to do to feel balanced and energized. Also when my partner and I have an argument and I feel hurt or angry, part of me doesn't want to feel love. But I've learned how to tap into the source of love and give love to the part of me that's hurt or angry, and give myself compassion and soothing, and then transform that emotion into deeper needs or desires that didn't get met. Maybe I wanted my partner to be more collaborative, or give me more support, or see my side.

So I've learned how to transform the emotion and communicate those desires to him in an inspiring way so that whatever I was upset about winds up bringing us to a deeper place of emotional intimacy. That's what I teach to my clients: how to transform conflict into deeper intimacy.

What has been the biggest unexpected obstacle you've had in following your passion or creating your great work in the world?

I've had challenges in reaching the amount of people I want to reach with my work. I'd like more support in that

How has your relationship to challenges changed since you started your journey?

I've learned that challenges are an opportunity to grow. In the beginning of my coaching practice, when clients were resistant to change and would be blaming themselves or the people in their life, I would get discouraged. But that forced me to develop patience, self-compassion, empathy for them, and faith in my own skills and the clients' path. Since then, I've developed all those things and now most of my clients have such profound, inspiring, deeply touching experiences. But if I wasn't challenged in the beginning, I wouldn't have had the chance to develop my own skills and virtues, and I wouldn't be able to appreciate the profound experiences I and my clients have now. So I welcome challenges now, as another way I can grow.

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