Why, Christards? Why?

Fundie Christarded morons can never agree on what supposedly happens to people who never knew about the ‘fact’ that they had to worship some zombie Jewish carpenter or burn in hell for eternity before they died. Some are honest enough to say that they believe that their god actually roasts those people in hell anyway; while other Christians try to fudge and claim that god forgives people that have not heard of the zombie cult leader. A Christian that I was talking to claimed that god forgives those who have not heard the ‘good news’, and that Christians should go around spreading the ‘good news’ so that more people would be ‘saved’ by knowing and ‘accepting Jesus’.

This brings me to the question: Why, Christards?

If Christians think that people who don’t know about Jesus go to heaven anyway, why do they bother evangelizing? Why spend all that time and money to save someone when someone is considered ‘saved’ already by not knowing about Jesus? If you are truly interested in saving someone from hell, why run the risk of telling someone about your cult and have them reject it, only to burn in hell later? Wouldn’t it be simple common sense to shut the fuck up about your zombie god so that more people would be ignorant of your great holy truth and thus nicely go to heaven instead of burning forever and ever? (Wait…Christianity…common sense?! Who was I kidding?)

Seriously, this doesn’t make any fucking sense. It is exactly what we mean when we say ‘OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN….’. It is stupid, fucktarded, illogical, insane, and simply theistarded. Only a theistard could believe in this shit without noticing the glaring problem with the crapped-up piece of dumbfuck theology.

If you instead choose the hardcore fundie way and say that everyone who did not hear about Jesus automatically goes to hell, why? How is it their fault that they were born into the circumstances that did not allow them to hear about Jesus? How about some kid who died by being blown to pieces in some distant war-torn country without being ‘saved’ by the zombie carpenter? Hellfire for eternity? Wouldn’t god know that those people would not have had a chance to be ‘saved’ before throwing them into hell? Did god plan that out on purpose for some sick reason – like making sure that Christards can nicely whine and BAWWWWW about how people should donate to their cultish institution in order to spread the ‘good word’? Did god simply do all this for his own sadistic pleasure? If so, what type of god are you worshipping? How could you claim that non-Christards are morally deficient with any credibility after admitting that your worship a god like that?

What the flying fuck?

Intelligent Christians who would like to provide us evil godless hell-bound heathens with a coherent answer are welcome to do so in the comments. If you sound like yet another typical theistarded moron, don’t get all butthurt when people have lulz at your expense. You fully deserve the mockery for believing in such stupid shit…unless you can intelligently defend your views, of course.

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