The calendar of the table marked the year 2013. It was a bad year, rambunctious as a hundred years ago, but Rrapush Kalemi didn’t care for the disorder of the country because he was shocked by the chaos in his head. Surprisingly, in dreams, every night he saw himself transformed into a donkey. However, even if his being really entered into the skin of that domestic animal, he still would not have believed it. And how could be believed something like this?! He was number one of the Presidential Staff… You could say that he came after the President to the hierarchy level. The officials feared him more than His Excellency himself, the President. No, Rrapush couldn’t have been and even couldn’t become a quadruped, regardless of that inexplicable feeling that abducted him during nights and left in the world of dreams in the form of a donkey…
Yes, yes, a donkey… Long ears like the people differently named it. It was a handsome donkey with a shiny gray hair that you had the desire to ride. And what did he say! More precisely what did he think because such visions he didn’t dare to assert himself and no longer to express them to others. They would say that Rrapush was mad and the news would immediately be spread. Was he really mad and didn’t understand?! No! Absolutely not! Only that he was made somewhat manic after a fixed idea… The idea of being a donkey… But this doesn’t mean that he was mad… Being a slave of an obsession, to his knowledge, was not madness… But not only he, was a maniac… He had noticed that even his friends and acquaintances, even strangers, categorized the employees of the public administration into donkeys and horses… Did this mean that all people were distracted? … No! … Elsewhere slept the rabbit… Maybe his craze was the result of a blow to the cerebellum? The truth is that he had slipped a couple of times in the polished parquet of the presidential halls and was hit behind the head… Even once, when the president sought him, in the rush, was overthrown by the stairs… Another time he had hit his head badly to the ivory lampshade of the work table in the office of the President… Eh! He was full of troubles. There were concerns over his relationship with the President… It was widely acknowledged that His Excellency was a difficult man… However. In the dream he was revealed a snorter hefty donkey, healthy and strong as a stallion horse… In a word, mare donkey, so was called that man in the village, who was resolved since he was younger, foal, and was better fed to be the father of mules… That is to impregnate the mare and they to give birth to that hybrid, which was neither horse nor donkey, neither male nor female … was simply mule, untamed mule, strong and irresistible, as in those poems of Dritëro… So Rrapushi imagined himself night to night as a donkey… Noble donkey, not as everywhere else… Because Rrapush, perforce, even though he had to admit that he was a donkey, is understood by the evil, if biological circumstances forced him to display once with the face of that poor animal, again he would know to choose. He would be a donkey or nothing at all… So, untamed donkey… Because he was untamed, even at work… Untamed chief, that all the subordinates feared him… as much as he trembled in front of His Excellency, the President… Seven pairs of sweat flowed Rrapushi in front of Him. Those moments when he had to face with his Chief better to turn hooked to sweat, to leak and summon the carpet, than to shrink and shrink from that presidential insults river. He couldn’t forget that black day when His Excellency, a year ago, had shouted as a lion and the number One of the Presidential Staff, Rrapush, had labeled a donkey. And precisely in the eyes of that Lilliputian, that thimble, the smallest official of the staff… Small in body and on duty… — – — Donkey! Donkey with D capital letter! Donkey head over heels, so are you … Donkey and nothing more… Donkey… Donkey… Donkey, – The president kept screaming and the office repeated even stronger the scream.
– As you order Mr. President! I am a donkey and nothing more, – Rrapushi instinctively had reiterated twisted by that presidential unprecedented attack.
– Good that you finally figured that out, – His Excellency blows and suddenly opened in the face and laughed and laughed so much that great office, that a clap of war horns could hardly fill, echoed and echoed anew.
Rrapush was drawn back and gathered just like mice, had wanted to slip out the door and shut away in his office, as he did after such storms, but the president prohibited him. Apparently he had not yet emptied his anger. This meant he had decided to give a good lesson. And the storm would continue. A long storm, the evil impressions of which would probably forever be carved in his memory… Rrapush sighed leaning back as the slave in the waiting of the punishment lashes of his master. And indeed the punishment of that day couldn’t get out of the conscience of Rrapush. The year was ending, many others would pass, perhaps the entire life and he would imagine even in sleep the accursed laughter of that winter day. Rrapushi remembered that, after being hackles to Floriri, as he was the cause of that shower that the President gave to him, he was crouched in his luxurious office, killing the mind to understand what had happened. But his brain was still confused. As he became calm he dialed the number and called the chief’s library to bring the largest dictionary of the Albanian language, the thickest with red lids. He asked the biggest one to be sure that it contained the word donkey. Let him learn from the dictionary the correct meaning of that word. To be known with its scientific meaning. Not in vain the President had labeled him donkey. He definitely would have a flair from that animal. His Excellency never errs. Rrapush was instantly filled out, was sniff in his face and yelled as a lion cub, when the chief’s library appeared at the door, as far as the dictionary fell from the poor woman hand and fell on his feet. He yelled even louder from the pain, trying to take posturing of the President. Let that female know, that the One was he, Rrapush, and no one could even go through mind to make him foolish. The beauty in front of him was pale and decreased even more and looked like a teenage girl in fault that extends the lips to get a kiss instead of slanging-match. Rrapush bowed and squint as he was giving her a kiss as of octopus, spanks her and promptly threw her out of the door. Hurriedly, going crisscrossing by the office, he browsed the heavy dictionary and somewhere, on top of one of the pages, encountered the words: closed mouth, donkey… Here then, here is that magic word “donkey” used by the president. Uttered through lines do do do do, don, donate, donation, done, donkey… DONKEY. Ungulate animal, kept at home for the load, with smaller body than a horse, with larger head, with longer ears and usually gray hairs. The ears of the donkey. Donkey foal. Load the donkey. The donkey calve. I tumble the donkey. Works as a donkey, works very much. Bear as a donkey, bear very much. Sing as a donkey, sing very badly.
2. Big donkey. Clot from the mind, a fool, and noodle. Did what that donkey did. What a donkey he is. Donkey with ears. White lips donkey. Doesn’t limp the donkey by ears. Being brainwashed. Wait donkey for the grass to sprout!… The horse works, the donkey eats…
Hm, he did. However if you seek you can find even positive values at this animal, thought Rrapush trying to find out the optimistic side of this reality. He kept silent somewhat with the eyes on the dictionary and then furrowed the lips. He didn’t like the expression: the horse works, the donkey eats… So, the donkey eats thanks to the horse. It is a vermin. So he, Rrapushi, is a vermin… unable… able to be fed just by the horse’s work… with the work of that smallest worker in the body and on duty. But this was insane… This was supposed to say the President that had offended him in front of that gamin. Maybe His Excellency had problems with his brain?! Rrapush shook terrified by this rebel thought… Did he pronounce it with loud voice? Even the walls have ears in the Presidency; they report to the President for that craze and woe him, Rrapushi… The hole of the mouse cost millions and it is difficult to save the head.
But how, he treated so lovingly that nothing… he called him even with caress: Where are you little Flori, my Gold… And burdened him to make the most difficult documents… And not only the most difficult. The whole correspondence of the President passed through the hands of Gold, besides the diplomatic posts, which were treated by the department of foreign relations… whereas Rrapush, number One of the Presidential Staff, was a donkey… And this is just because he had not resolved some paperwork, which had occupied his desk… But he didn’t know about the paperwork and just for this insult him?! Ultimately he was leading and not an office’s mouse, not bureaucrat like that Gold… Rrapush was the One, excellent administrator, with the vision of a future leader, able to restrain the Presidential Staff, to tremble in front of him as in front of the President himself. It wasn’t surprising that some day he, Rrapush Kalemi, take over His Excellency, though he didn’t know to write. Those of the Staff could deal with the paper and pen, therefore they were paid, to serve the President, to defrost the knowledge, their talents and intelligence for His Excellency… He, Gold with his friends… But what can we do to the President? It’s his right to shout and praise whoever he wants… But is Gold equated with him, the one, Rrapushi? And what is the worst to evaluate even above? Long live the Prime Minister, that for his sake you enjoy all those privileges, my donkey… You and all those donkeys that are behind you. All of you together don’t worth even the quarter of Gold. Because the whole work of the Presidency holds the back of the little Gold and of 3-4 others like him. They die on the job and you, friends of my friends, just give orders… argue and worry with each-other who to command more. Three – four working horses, as Gold … and the strongest commander, as always, Rrapushi, the biggest donkey… Or not Rrapush Kalemi?! –expressed ironically the President by rounding the thick eyebrows that made even more vinegary the mock arrows that the mouth of His Excellency said.
-As you order, Mr. President! – was shaken Rrapush as bitten by the pain of insulting more that the usual cynicism of the President to him.
-How, as you order?! What sense does the expression “as you order”, poor you, when you remained your entire life a donkey? Learn something by Gold. I have told you so many times; burden him the work, when you can’t do it. Don’t be ashamed for your ignorance. Ultimately so is this world constructed: the wise are forced to be counselors of the fools, the wise servant of the mad or as the enlightened sovereign says, the people, the horse works and the donkey eats. Or not Rrapush Kalemi?
-As you order Your Excellency! – was humbly hooked Rrapush, not forgetting to throw a sight to the Gold, just as telling: “You pay me to head once this insult, you little thing!”
-Mr. President! You don’t see that you are burdening a little too much? – said the reckless Gold.
-Come on, your back holds. Not in vain you are a chosen horse. The good horse adds himself the forage, -said the president smiling, friendly shaking his shoulders.
What is this misfortune? How he treats me, his vicegerent, and how does he treat that dwarf, that runt, just because he has a little bit more brain, the no one, blew Rrapushi all hatred for Gold, swearing that he wouldn’t leave him without breaking his saddled for the humiliation.
-and now go away because enough did I stay with you. The state’s works are waiting for me, Flori! It’s not easy thing to be a President… and to have round you some donkeys like Rrapushi, – said His Excellency with a tone kind of a cocteil, where the smile of debonair, the mock and the order of the almighty of the country were mixed together.
-As you order Mr President! –recently echoed the crawler refrain of the chief assistant.
-Again just like a donkey, he! Didn’t you forget that damn expression?! When you mooing you don’t know how to finish. And when you don’t know how to shut up, even though you say something wise sometimes, it kills the ear like a mooing of the donkey.
-As you order M…Mr – stutter Rrapushi and going away he slammed to the door.
-Outside, donkey! –said the president with the face black as winter.
They went out immediately. The vicegerent followed by Gold. The stately gate roar behind them.
-And look! Shut up! Did you see anything, no I didn’t! Are you clear, Gold?! –said Rrapushi outside the office of the president. – Otherwise poor you!
-I know. Revenge waits for me, – Gold said quietly.
– Hell, say! Hell waits for you, you little yellow! And the yellows don’t have any value in hell, Gold! –Rrapushi grin, by deliberately prolonging the voice to make him realize that he didn’t care for the color that he had in the eyes of the president.
It must have been a year since the day of that presidential’s spark and Rrapush’s eyes thundered whenever he reminded. In his conscience was already entrenched so much the idea of being a donkey, that not only the subordinates, but all the acquaintances he investigated carefully, without making them understand this, and according the characteristic that they showed, he classified them in donkeys and horses. Surprisingly by the calculations, which he did, came up the number of horses was about four times smaller than the donkeys. So, said bluntly, in four donkeys, would barely see a horse that humbly pushed away the joyful company of the donkeys, who, gladly, ate, drank, mooing and slandered in despise the slavery of the horses. The donkeys knew to behave with courtesy and collectivity towards each other, respected with fanaticism their community and knew what essential meaning had the life in the community. Wasn’t it a pleasure to pasture in the herd in a meadow with wet grass, green trifil and several of other spring flowers, plowed meadow, planted and maintained with the work of the poor horses, that didn’t know what was the satisfaction of the modern parasite life?!
Eh! This was the paradise! And what would you have more in the real paradise than those white mouth donkeys, that the teeth and hair shone, forgotten towards love toys, that the big naive eyes shed tears by lust, when confronted with the fierce looks of men… Eh! The female donkey like that of Shaqir Qorri that with a tail moving drove crazy all the donkeys of the River Coast. Eh! No one could resist her. Neither Rrapush Kalemi. He fainted when the sloe turned the eyes, her crafty smile roke his heart as a knife blade in the hands of the butcher… Not to even think if he makes love with her. Oh, God! To become crazy by her fury. Once was Rrapush encompassing with her and still felt like someone had hit… If that day that Sloe bring the trouble at the door of Rrapush, as some past times, would come again. For this he prayed to God day and night. To see himself in the hug of the donkey sloe, somewhere there on the meadows of Dajti. And this desire was turned into a fixation, to that number one of the presidential staff, as it was turned into a craze to be a donkey.
But Gold’s back was scratching too much?! Did that horse think that the friendship with the president gave any advantage over him, Rrapush Kalemi?! Rrapushi was his chief, not everyone… Gold should have clear this, as the sunlight… and not to dare and mock, as he sometimes as ever tried. He pushed the door of the office and entered without saying to enter.
-Hi, chief?! –he entered directly to the theme, as they were friends and not superior and subordinate.
Rrapushi saw squint and scratched the voice as to remind the little surbodinate to hold on to speak in front of him as all the other did, when they talked, as Rrapush himself held on in front of the President, but Gold didn’t hear by that ear.
-Do you know that fable of Driteroi, “The horse and the donkey”, chief?! –grin Gold.
-The fable “The donkey and the horse” –corrected Rrapush, pressing the authoritative voice.
-No, I don’t remember it, with all the respect for the author… he was my friend once… now we have been forgotten. It is understood, the work, duties, presidential loads have pushed us away.
– Then listen carefully, chief: The horse and the donkey…
-You wanted to say the donkey and the horse… -interrupted Rrapush and raised the eyebrows like the president.
– Chief! Don’t interrupt me, please, – insisted Gold and recited:
The horse and the donkey.
– Tale-
Passed in a narrow mountain trail
the donkey before, after donkey the horse
Both well loaded with sacks
from the heat tortured and sweat
The peasant wanted soon in the village to arrive
and spank the horse with a stick
Por the horse finally lost its patience
Raised the tail and shook the saddled.
“Keep the hands, that I throw the saddled to the floor,
Why do you put before me the donkey?
And where can I go, poor me,
when my path has taken the long-eared?
Put me before not to suffer
and then beat the donkey as you want!”
-Hmmm! – scratched the voice Rrapush, then raised the sight squint and saw into the opponent. – What do you want to say with this, Flori?!
-Not me… What did Dritero want to say…
-So, go and ask Dritero what he wanted to say because I don’t have time for puzzles! –closed the conversation harshly Rrapush…
– No problem, chief… I just said you for information… for knowledge…
– I want the information only by official sources, not literary. Are you clear?! – roar Rrapush, but Gold was found outside the door, in the corridor full of mazes…
– These horses do like what they are! – thundered Rrapush, although he was alone in the office. – Let’s see what the dictionary say about them? The horse… the horse… the horse…, – he whispered, browsing noisily the sheets of the book … – Horrify… horror… finally I found:
HORSE- m, p HORSES, the horses. 1. Strong and agile equine pet, with great body, covered with short soft hairs, with long crest tail, which serves to ride in, to carry something or to pull the carriage etc. White horse (piebald, gray, Arab). Wild horse. Emasculate horse. Horse of race. Carthorse. Racehorse. Saddle horse (burden) horse to load. Saddle the horse. Ride the horse. Descend from the horse. Works as a horse, works very much, without thinking for himself…
2. Fell from the horse. Fell from the high position he had, was removed from the high duty he had.
No, Rrapush didn’t fall so easily from the horses… It was enough to have 3 or 4 horses like Gold in the Presidential Staff and he would know how to saddle, the same as the president… He would act under the example of His Excellency… The horses were loved… the president didn’t have in vain when he praised Gold… Mischievous president… He knew the value of the things… Why even Rrapush Kalemi didn’t know? The horse works, the donkey eats. Ha… ha… ha! What a struck expression! The horses were loved. You don’t have what to say. Good horses like Gold. Look, what does it say below? The good horse (red) has a habit. It means that…. Gold has drawbacks… The horse of the others let you in the middle of the road. This Gold is the horse of the president? Yes, so it is and this Gold can let me, Rrapush, in the middle of the road… I should attract him, otherwise…
Everytime the president went abroad, Rrapush sat in the presidential coach and, stately, His Excellency, called the members of the staff one after the other and, strict, firm and thunderous, as a small Zeus, brought them to account for their activity, as they almost did the pee. Great men and women became as the first grade students that come to school without homework and cry in front of the teacher… Rrapush was pleased with these scenes and, so immersed in the tremendous luxury that surrounded him, in that great office, once dreamt to replace the president himself. But Gold changed his mood. He entered without trembling the eyelash and, unlike the others who had slave view, in that office, that killed with the noise of the lantern and the fabulous splendor of the antiques, said some fables and poems, with the sole intent to make Rrapush nervous, vicegerent of His Excellency, the president.
-Chief! – started Gold as always with laughter.
-Yes?! – Rrapushi barely raise his head from the paperwork.
In those moments he nearly ate Gold alive.
-Do you know the fable “The donkey with lion’s skin”?
-Let’s hear it once…
-Of course chief… Once a donkey, tired from the load, left the village and entered in the forest. In the street he found a lion’s skin. He took and wore it with the thought to appear as a lion in front of the other animals. And so it happened. The animals,when they saw him, made him many honors and treated with all the goods, as he was their king himself, the Lion. The donkey, as he ate and was satiated, forgot that he was masked and, of satisfaction, started to moo as the forest shook. The animals knew who he was and paid the fraud, beating with wood, so much as the donkey repented, but it was late…
-What do you want to say with this you, Flori?! – Rrapush was irritated.
-What can I say, chief? What the author wanted to say… Just for information…
-How many times have I told you, Flori, bring me only official sources not literary… Are you deaf? You know the law of the chief, don’t you?
-Of course, chief…
-It is worse that you know and don’t follow it… I will once repeat it to you so you can remember… Open the ears…
1. The chief is right.
2. The chief is always right.
3. In the impossible hypothesis, that a subordinate is right, are immediately considered articles 1 and 2.
4. The chief doesn’t sleep, he rests.
5. The chief doesn’t eat, he tastes.
6. The chief doesn’t drink, he digest.
7. The chief is never late, he is on time.
8. The chief never leave the work, it’s the other’s requirement for his presence.
9. The chief never read the newspaper, he is informed.
10. The chief doesn’t familiarize with the secretary, he educates her.
11. Who enters the office of the chief with his own ideas, should go out with those of the chief.
12. The chief thinks for everybody.
13. As much you think as the chief, so much you make career.
14. Chief is chief even when he makes you angry. (it’s a bullshit)
Thus this is the chief’s code, never forget it, if you want to survive. Are you clear, Flori!? – showed off Rrapush Kalemi.
-I have just a remark, chief, I survive thanks to my back, – emphasized Gold while going out.
-We will see how your back holds, if I become the one, you little thing, – Rrapush’s thunderous was felt together with the noise of the door.
-Eh, you will let me without work, nothing more, Rrapush Kalemi, – whispered Gold, not believing very much in the magical power of the presidential office to metamorphose the donkey into a horse and Rrapush into a president.
2
Many seasons passed, more water flowed from sources to streams and rivers, and suddenly, surprisingly, rrapush Kalemi was announced President of the country. His Excellency, former president, had retired, leaving as inheritance the presidential office to Rrapush Kalemi. Now Rrapush Kalemi killed and cut not like the chief of the staff, not as a vicegerent, but like His Excellency himself. Rrapush Kalemi now was the president. Was metamorphosed in the most surprising way… Perhaps the presidential office had this magic power and nobody would notice the long ears of Rrapush Kalemi.
-Flori, that donkey, who has occupied the president’s office, seeks you, – Gold felt a voice, who was still dazed by surprise.
It was the driver of the president with a sad face.
– It seems he wants to deal with me, still not putting his ass in the presidential chair, – Gold wrinkled the lips venomously.
– Well he has swear to you, Flori, – smiled the driver. – Good luck…
Gold knocked on the door of the Presidential office and entered without waiting to be invited. Rrapushi was enjoying the revolving chair, immersed in it as a child in the park. He was furious by the sudden arrival of Gold, as far as he shouted out loud.
-Flori, never enter without permission at the president’s office! And now I am President, Rrapush Kalemi …
-All the media say this chief, that you are the president, I don’t believe that you called me to say who you are…
-Shut up your mouth, you little thing! The president calls you whatever he wants, – Rrapush interrupted him, trying to imitate the ex-president.
-I am called only for work, only to draft the document, Mr. Preeesident, – weighed the voice Gold, without supporting the brutality of the president Rrapush.
-How do you dare, you nothing! How do you dare to oppose the president! Do you know I call the guards and cast the irons? I rot you in jail, that I do! – stood up the president Rrapush, hysterical crying, but Gold didn’t care.
-It is possible chief!
-I am a president, you damned! But do you know what? Get away from work, since now! Get away from my eyes because you made me blind, Gold! – stressed Rrapush as triumphant.
Of course, chief! I knew I had mine only the ass… the chair is yours and you have the right to take it whenever you want… according to the chief’s law… – Rrapush expressed sadly and went without talking much.
Behind him followed the wild yawp of the new president. Submitted the office, was greeted with the colleagues, who still didn’t believe how could Gold go away from work and left behind the Headquarter of Presidency to come on the street. Passed several days and Gold, very sad by the blind revenge of Rrapush, randomly wandering the noisy street of the capital. One afternoon, in the artificial lake promenade, was faced with the former President, who was walking accompanied by one of the loyal guards. They hugged.
-How are you, Flori, how do you do with Rrapush? – the former president beat his shoulders with vivacity.
-Not bad! We argued and he fired me… He enforced the ancient code of the chiefs, – answered Gold smiling.
-What!? He has fired you?! All the life a donkey remained the damned Rrapush? – wildly woo the former president, the old man lion, then, after he thought for a moment, cynically shook his head and formed a mobile phone number.
-Rrapush, what news do we have from there…
-Silence, Mr. President! There were a lot of messages for you from the neighboring presidents, – felt the familiar, trembling and rushed voice of Rrapush Kalemi.
-Ok, I understood… Send me in the evening to “Rogner”, what about Gold… how is Gold, Rrapush?
-As you order, Mr. President! Gold is safely… I just split by him. I am sending you immediately.
Gold beat the forehead of surprise, whereas the former-president laughed.
-I have told you Rrapush, Gold is a good horse. Get used to manage the good horse. Don’t put it away by yourself.
-As you order, chief! We will put the horse forward to make the works go well.
-Keep up the good work, Rrapush! Finally you have understood: the horse always forward, – emphasized the former president with praise tone and closed the mobile phone.
-Eh, this crazy world! – sighed Gold.
-Don’t be surprised, Gold! The power has these. And now let’s greet each-other and run home because that donkey will send the presidential car immediately, – said the former president and hugged neck on neck.
Then they split. The retired president infringed the eye.
Gold took a taxi and went back home. The car of the president was waiting there.
-What has happened, Flori, that our honorable president was doing the pee from fear? You have tricked him, methinks, – rubbed the hands the happy driver.
-It is understandable, the power has these, – Gold infringed the eye.
-The power has these… our eyes have seen a lot of things, Flori, – rubbed the hands the driver and infringed the eye as to imitate the former president.
While the President’s car was launched towards the Presidential Headquarters.
3
President Rrapush Kalemi finally appeared in the presidential chair in front of the mythical table where the plans for national economic progress, national security, constitutional justice and future projects were knitted. In this workshop were compiled and signed all the presidential orders for the today and tomorrow of the state. Here was the “Olympics” of the Republic and Zeus was already Rrapush Kalemi. This was his dreamed kingdom. He had in his hands the sun, rain, hail, snow, wind and lightning. As the Zeus of mythology. He could smile and the sun would shine the way, otherwise the lightning of the anger hinge over the top and poor you… But how many devices had around this table and above! As it was a pilot’s cockpit of a giant spaceship.
-Hi, hi, hi! – As in movies, – Rrapush laughed.
He was still not persuaded that his dream had come true. He pressed a button and suddenly was heard a voice.
-Hello! I am the minister of defiance.
-Hi, hi, hi! Beautiful thing! – whispered Rrapush, and then weighed the voice.
-I am the president. Anything new there, Mr. Minister!?
-Generally good, Mr. President! Only that we lack the funds to purchase new weapons. NATO has put us the duty the modernization of our military.
-What about the reformation?
-Not bad. We are dealing with the new structure of the military.
-Good! Very good, Mr. Minister! Continue the implementation of tasks! – interrupted Rrapush with a commanding tone.
He was in the role of the General Commander of the Armed Forces. Reprint the button, the light turn off and the voice was silenced. He pressed another button.
-Hello! The minister of economy, – echoed another voice.
-President is speaking!
-I am listening, Mr. President! – The voice beyond felt excited.
-How is your institution going on, Mr. Minister?
-It isn’t going well, Mr. President! The energetic system is down, old, is ending. Subscribers steal us and we can’t oblige them to pay. We don’t have even the weather as allies. There is no rain and the lakes are dried up. Hydropower risk to come out of work. Mines are closed. Are gone. Residents of the towns near them risk of hunger. If the uncontrolled displacements begin will cause many social problems, especially in the suburbs of the capital… We hold out a little with the Telecom, although the network cable is broken. Poor job of my predecessors. Even the opposition doesn’t let us calm accusing us for robbers. No light, no water, no bread, no roads, no phone, no money… we are going crazy.
-Bring me urgently a detailed report with concrete measures to change the situation! – was exacerbated Rrapush and closed the line.
He continued to dial other numbers but no one answered. When he was losing patience a strict voice answered:
-Hello! Minister of Public Order!
-I am the president! How is there going on?
-As you know, the opposition is embroidered with the rallies. They got our breath. Day and night on guard.
-You are strong, you face the difficult situations, – answered Rrapush and closed the mobile phone.
-Eh! Grumpy year… As the year 13 a century ago… Hope God blessed them because people have sold their soul to Satan, – sighed Rrapush with a bitter taste deep in the consciousness.
He glanced the numerous files waiting to browse, but did not want to deal with them. There would find a lot of problems too that would make nerves water for that day… Albania had already turned into the most distorted country in the world… Cities were defiled with the mud of the sewage, boulevards and sidewalks pit of pits and pond of ponds where the unemployed, hopeless, drunkards and drug addicts nap. They wallow in the sludge and sludge and filth their mouth brought out. They quarreled, revenged and killed in the darkness and poverty… Life flowed laborious as a hellish river especially for the homeless, who became dark and light at the foot of the buildings built outside the urban laws with stolen money, drugs and blood money. In the countryside the situation even worse: Poverty, illiteracy, Bandit and darkness… it is better away from those files. Eh! He reminded an expression: “Beware not to enter the stake, if it entered, it will leave a sign”… And he didn’t want a sign that day and he wanted never neither in the body nor in the spirit… Was or not the president of the country? His subordinates could keep the signs of the stake, Gold with his friends, people, who didn’t have power to protect… The horses could hold the sacks of Albanian troubles.
Someone was knocking at the door.
-Come in! – The president woos.
The chief of staff appeared finicky. It is said this is neither jennet nor mare, but fox, instinctively flashed in head to Rrapush. He needed to find a special language for him.
-Yes?!
-Your Excellency! I have the obligation to inform about the staff’s situation, although, is understandable, you are aware… – the chief wrenched all her body.
-Yes?! – continued the president with the same condescending tone, as to confuse him, though he knew that cunning lady didn’t let herself so easily.
-Well, I thought to remind you that we need more skilled guys like Gold; I suppose you know him…
-Yes!?
-If Your Excellency agrees, we employ another as well as him…
-As to say working horse…
-If you call the so…
-How to designate otherwise, when the owl knows that Presidential staff consists of donkeys and horses, Mrs. Fox!? – President exploded with anger.
– … …!?
-Can’t you answer? Learn then, that there is lazy donkeys and working horses… Plenty of horses do we have… What is the ration between them?
-I believe, some twenty with the eighty percent in the favor of the donkeys, said the chief flippantly, to make the president understand that she had the situation in her hands.
-Hi, hi, hi! And look how well you know that staff has donkeys and horses? You know even their percentages. Learn that horses cost, they are too temperamental and costly…
-If you allow me, Your Excellency, I would say that the so-called donkeys would cost more. A horse works as for four donkeys and is paid a half donkey. So, a working horse with a ridiculous salary is commanded at the same time by four donkeys… pretty expensive the command. In the labor market you can find best and cheapest horses… great unemployment, as you are aware, Your Excellency…
-The employment policy is my problem, madam. You accurately complete the documents that will be required, well-manage the files of the donkeys and horses behind the bars of your office… Well-manage your cage, Mrs. Fox!
-As you order Your Excellency! Organigram demands to be a fox as chief of staff and so I am. So, I fulfill the job’s criteria. I don’t know if Your Excellency is within criteria, because, of what I know and if you permit me, the president must be a lion, under the laws of the forest and the jungle…
-Madam, we are not here neither in the forest nor in the jungle, but in the Main Headquarter of the State, in the “Olympus” of Republic… The policy decides who to choose and how to choose the president. Remember well: I, the President of this country and yours, madam, I am a product of policy… Less importance is me being a donkey, horse, pig or lion, as you claim, Mrs. Fox… The criterion is for my subordinates and this also applies to you, Mrs. Fox! Strongly hold the workplace and don’t do very dalliance… And more obedient in front of your President! Clear?!… And find an opportunity to find a workplace for Sloe of the blind Shaqir… She will come to meet you… Make her shake a door within this building… Once again clear?! – stressed the president ending the oratorical speech.
-As you order, Mr. President! I clearly understood you. Can I leave now? – Bowed in a sign of subservience the chief of personnel and backward pulled to the outside.
-My honors, madam! You are free to go. And always with mind in the head! – Advised for the last time Rrapushi, although impromptu questioned his behavior.
Hadn’t he shown to be very gentle with that flattering lady… as he had talked too much… had brushed the tail? He should have behaved more severe… more cut… more toned… as a lion… as the king of the jungle… so should behave with those kinds of animals like foxes. However he would talk another time with her… would cut the tongue… just to put his honor of president… The thought that the office of the President should have a magical power, which transformed anyone who went inside, had already crystallized in the head. He waited to see the concrete results, first to himself and then to the others. The president, for instance, as the fox lady said, would definitely be lion, or at least a tiger, bear or wolf… It was accepted even horse, donkey enough… So, you entered in that office a donkey and surprisingly saw yourself a lion. Such was the former president, who left the inheritance of presidency to Rrapush… Why couldn’t Rrapush Kalemi be a lion? Even if he didn’t have the gifts of the Forest’s King, the presidential office would definitely donate it. Rrapush didn’t even discuss that the president’s office had magical power and did wonders transforming the donkeys into horses and vice versa, but he wondered if it acted equally on all the people, that entered and went out its environment. He believed that it shouldn’t have the same effect as for those who stayed a few minutes, one or a few hours and for someone who stayed pretty much days and nights, almost became permanent resident of it, as he himself, His Excellency, Rrapush Kalemi. So, he had to deal with a philosophical theory, which had to definitely be studied by a famous philosopher as that academician with the stunning name Farmak. As it was said, this Farmaku held as the greatest philosopher of the time, had even crossed the global boundaries and claimed he was in competition with aliens’ philosophers, if they existed and would ever dare to visit our planet, Earth.
-Pfff! I do not believe that this sort philosopher Farmaku to be so knowledgeable, however let’s try once, who knows, – Said Rrapushi and promptly decided to order the subordinates to find that wise man anywhere he was and immediately bring him to the presidency.
Not passing an hour, the philosopher, with his view of a goat beard, was in the office of the president Rrapush.
-As you ordered, Excellency, the immensity of my knowledge, at your disposal! – Farmaku bowed so much as the chin touched the table.
The president with all courtesy welcomed the scholar and, having made flattery to his great fame, that accompanied him, announced the reasons, motives and the purpose that made him call so hastily to cooperate in solving the secret of the President’s office’s magic.
The scholar, who took the message of the interlocutors in midair, he instantly began working with a very euphoric view, which meant that the problem to be solved was a very common thing for his immense erudition. On the top of a few days there would be no more a bit of mystery over the ignorance of the president. The light of the Farmak would shine everywhere in the presidency and would lead toward new paths the presidential ideas. The scholar with his discovery skills would put on scientific basis the opinion of the president and the progress of the works for the direction of the republic toward the future still unknown. The only requirement that he directed to the president to speedily reach the target, was: Him to have the goodness to order the free movement of the scholar in all territories where was the need to lay the surveys, observations, investigations and the detailed practices and extremely stringent of the Farmak, which was immediately completed. Several days passed and something unexpected happened. After extensive research, Farmak philosopher was suddenly petrified and looked like a moving statue that artistically posed in the presidency’s environment. Surprisingly it was turned into a surprised hermaphroditic animal, half donkey and half horse, as he had foolishly left the Gold, who was ordered to accompany the scholar step by step to facilitate the scientific research. In that state of donkey-horse sculpture, Farmak had lost the ability to produce results, thus Gold, in the role of the assistant, had to apply himself calculations. And after a fast computer processing of the data with more value collected thanks to the philosopher’s experience, and thanks to his exhaustible clear-headed, concluded that the magic that possessed the presidential headquarter was: Desire for power, money and glory… This sort of desire had alienating, transforming and metamorphose power. It was even with tracks and non-lethal effects.
Oh God! This is the culmination… Gold, not without pain, confused from the pity for the sufferings of Farmak and from the rapid turns of the course of events, was coming in a shocking conclusion… He was slowly realizing that rarely any of the residents, guests and guests of the presidency saved this surprising infection. People suffering from this virus, were suddenly seized from thirst and a high temperature, which awakened the obsession to sin all the sins that the holy books write. And willy-nilly they ended into eternal maniac with a very aggressive temper, with all the symptoms of the protagonists that had eventually turned the back to heaven to once populate the hell.
Oh God! Farther the greedy and greediness envy for power, money and glory undeserved, to target the envy killer, violence to adjust and inherit, pride to put in the service of habits, niggard to serve to the virtues and greed to perpetuate the sinful obsession of the infected spirit, as every cell of Gold’s being yelled, as he imagined how people incantation and lured by the presidential magic, even in the smallest contact with it. Apparently it wasn’t a coincidence the fact that a hefty part of the Albanians, citizens of the Republic with the name Albania, had declared themselves presidents of many businesses, associations, parties and every sort of organizations and inventions non-governmental and governmental ghost. Perhaps each of them had a physical or spiritual contact with the Presidency, either as a visitor of her magical environments, either through correspondence and as a result was declared President in the Presidency of his real or imagined principality. So, Albanians, as without understanding, were experiencing a Presidential massive alteration and in the territories of the Republic already, willy-nilly, the donkeys reigned… Yes, yes the donkeys…
Don’t you believe?! Weren’t you enough with the half-metamorphose of the famous Farmak eager for fame?! Then follow the TV chronicles that how many foreign diplomats present the credentials to the Presidency as horses and once go away from her as… donkeys… Still don’t you believe?! Then try to contact with the Presidency and you will see with your own eyes how you will be transformed… Suddenly the horses will be transformed into donkeys… The donkeys will be transformed into… donkeys.
The president Rrapush Kalemi waited to be informed for the discovery of the magic’s secret of the Presidential Headquarter, with the best hope to be metamorphosed for a day into a lion, as flattering to be a true leader who reigns and leads with foresight his people toward abundance. But what could the poor Flori confess, for Farmak’s err or for the fact that the donkey remains a donkey even though he coexists with the Presidency?!
He took the car. He went to the forest of Dajti’s mountain. He searched and found a bunch of nettles, which, after being returned, tickle the philosopher Farmak, who scorched leaped upward and as released from the magic, was immediately transformed into a gusty horse that jumped and went around.
-It seems as I was watching a bad dream. Oh God, make it a dream! – was cleared Farmaku.
-You have slept enough; the President is waiting to be informed, you dotard philosopher, – threatened the mocking Gold. – At least tell your dreams. Maybe he lull and sees dreams with lions, as he desires… maybe…
– Maybe… Maybe we will also save from the donkeys that burden our backs forever. Maybe the nettles are a kind of medicine for such errs, – foolishly laughed the philosopher Farmak, still under the searing effect of the nettles.
Shefki Hysa
Writer