At a press conference today, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer took the stage and announced, "Sure, everyone's seen a computer shaped like a computer, and everyone's seen a computer shaped like a tablet. But Microsoft is way ahead of the game. We're building things no one has ever seen before. This fall, Microsoft will present a new way to interact with Windows that is way beyond anything you've ever experienced: Windows Bagel."

Windows 8: Bagel Edition will initially be available in plain and sesame models, with pumpernickel and poppy seed versions coming early next year.

Windows 8: Bagel EditionIt has all the processing power and versatility of Windows - but it's a bagel.

Ballmer was joined onstage by a series of hardware partners eager to show their commitment to the Windows Bagel, including demonstrations of HP Cream Cheese and Dell Strawberry Jam.

Ballmer concluded the event by saying, "Sure, you could buy someone else's tablet and deal with hassles like a screen and a keyboard. But our product is lovingly baked with whole grains, and that's how we know it represents a pinnacle of reliability that will almost certainly never crash. And even if it does crash, you can just eat it."