The End of the line station for the Irony 3 Novel Train. To those who have decided to peripherally monitor this train to see of it goes off the rails, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a same time every day writer. It comes when it comes and the schedule allows. I would love to be a same time every day AM writer. Alas, there are days when I am a PM writer, and even late night writer. (In fact, that is most days) Happy Scribing.

﻿June 6-8 / Days 217-219 – 1728 Words – The End﻿

Hallelujah! Praise The Lord! Amen! The first draft of Irony, Book 3 - Fare is Fair, as of 8PM on 6/8/2015, the third writing day of week 32, is now and forever officially complete. What does that mean? It means the Irony 3 or Bust Novel train has reached its destination of The End. It means that after 219 days of creative fiction writing, I can put my brain away for a little rest. It means that the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train has finally reached its destination of The End.“You said that already.”You bet your sweet red typeface I did. And it sounded so nice, I said it twice.“Are you going to say it again?”Just watch me. After seven plus months, two hundred and nineteen days, thirty two weeks of updates, umpteen hours on the rails, over 113,000 words, 52,000 blog update words, oh, and putting up with your obnoxiousness, the Irony 3 Novel Train has finally pulled into The End station! Boo-yah, ba-by!“Fine, fine, what’s next?”Next? Who cares. Right now, I am going to revel a bit in a completed manuscript.“Truth be told, it is not complete. There’s the rewrite, and then the re-rewrite, and then the re-re-rewrite, and then formatting--”

Look, Captain Buzzkill, you think about what you want. As for me, I am going to be happy that the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train didn’t go bust. And to the readers of these updates, I say thank you for riding along. Your company on this trip has been greatly appreciated. If I had only Red Guy to keep me company, I don’t know if I would have made it to The End.“And if I had a long neck and spots, I’d be a giraffe. What’s your point?”My point is that--“Let me guess, that the Irony 3 Novel Train has reached its destination of The End.”Are there any sweeter words in the English language right now?“Alright, so you are happy you finished the book. We get it. Are you feeling anything else?”Yes, but I expected it, so I am not buying in.“Buying into what?”That feeling we authors sometimes get after completing a book, and the questions that come with it. I admit, there is a sort of sadness beneath the feeling of triumph.“Sadness? Why?"I suppose it is the feeling of loss. For over seven months, I was heavily invested in this process. I lived with the characters, ate with them, slept with them. They were alive in my head, their emotions, hopes, dreams, let downs and the like. They were living their lives and things were happening to them and I was there with them every step of the way. And now, now I suppose it is over.

“You can always create new stories and new characters.”Yeah, maybe, but Reg, Carol, Reuben, Kris, Carmen, Captain Freeman, and even the villains were my friends, are my friends, and now I have to say goodbye to them.“Well, then, write Irony 4 and bring them back. What’s so hard about that?”What so hard about writing a novel? Pffft, a lot, but that’s not the point. Even if I did that, this chapter of the story is over and there is sort of a finality to it. Besides that, I am thinking maybe it is time to move on from Detective Reginald Thomas Williams. I am not definite on it, because I have still have ideas, but we will see.

So, yes, I am jumping for joy that the book is finished, but a little sad too. Mostly, jumping for joy, though. As for these updates moving forward, I will drop in a line now and then during the rewrite. You can click the facebook/twitter icons on the side of the page to follow me for those posts. Or, you can just drop by here when you feel like it to check. Also, there is the Poetic Shroud tab at the top of the page. I call it poetry, but most of it is not your standard prose. There are stories and the like clumped in as well.

Wow, I can hardly believe it. The Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train actually made it to The End. Who knew? Come on guys, admit it, some of you clicked here at times expecting a wreck. Well, I am happy to say, it was my pleasure to disappoint you.“Just because you finished the book, doesn’t mean this whole fiasco wasn’t a wreck.”Maybe, but then that means everybody got something, doesn’t it?“I got nothing.”You got nothing--? Hey, let’s not go there again. Well, folks, thanks again for coming along for the ride. Don’t forget to like my facebook page, follow me on twitter, and check back often for new Poetic Shroud & Shroud Shorts entries. Happy writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for final count and mood.

And, since it is both the beginning and end of a writing week, the last writing week, I ask you all to dance in the streets with me, partying All Night Long with Lionel Richie.

The Novel Train coming out of the deep, making it's final run toward The End. To those who have decided to peripherally monitor this train to see of it goes off the rails, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a same time every day writer. It comes when it comes and the schedule allows. I would love to be a same time every day AM writer. Alas, there are days when I am a PM writer, and even late night writer. (In fact, that is most days) Happy Scribing. Image found here: http://www.hdwallpapersinn.com/antique-train-engine-wallpapers.html

All Referenced Images At End Of PostMay 30 – June 1 / Days 210 – 212 / 1394 Words

It is the beginning of another writing week and update time, again, for the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train. The last update, perhaps? Nah, I have at least one more in me, possibly two or three. Why am I not sure, so close to the end of the novel? Because, in the way I have chosen to close out, possibly the final book in the series, there is room to play with in what I want to say. If it truly is the last one, I want the reader coming away feeling it was a worthwhile series with a message, and not just a trilogy of books to read.

I don’t control that, of course. Everyone has their view of things. What I can control is attempting to shape that message into the work. Whether it is received or not, or deemed worthwhile, is out of my hands. So, where does that leave me? In chapter 40, the final one planned, tying together loose ends and playing with what I want to say.

Notice the 378 word count for day 212 (5/1) did ya? Well, that was the day chapter 39 ended and I wanted to start fresh with chapter 40 the next day. For that explanation you will have to go all the way back to the Nov. 12 update. Wow, that was the second week, wasn’t it? Long time ago. (Here is the link, in case you are interested.)

Quickly reflecting on this ride so far, because of what I just wrote, I can’t believe it is almost over. Yes, the rewrite is looming, but the completion of every first draft should warrant a party night. “Party over here!”You’re not invited.“I’ll show up anyway.”Figures. Anyway, since I don’t know when the final, last, complete, finished first draft update will be, I might as well have a cover reveal now. I am unsure if I will do a bundle package, but I made one just in case. So, without further ado, I give you the Irony series covers. Happy writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

June 2-4 / Day 213-215 / 1564Words

This book is holding on like that cat in the poster. It just doesn’t want to let go. That is either me having some kind of fear of completion, or the book wanting to spend more time with me. I tried to tell it that I would be back in two weeks for the rewriting process, but it doesn’t seem to believe me. Obviously, Irony 3 has trust issues.

“You’re assuming it is the book and not you.”Of course, I’m not about to blame myself for having some kind of fear of bringing a seven month project to completion.“longer that that.”Say what?“If this is truly the end of the Irony books, then this project is about a year and a half and counting. I’m leaving out the first book, because of the gap between continuing the series.”A first book that is now free, by the way, (smashwords link) leading up to the release of Book 3. I still plan on another edit run through, and adding author’s notes, but I am hoping Amazon price matches soon.

“Not a bad marketing strategy, but it still doesn’t account for your debilitating fear of finishing this book. Oh, and if Irony 3 has trust issues like you said, then I would look to the author. So, in conclusion, you are to blame for everything, including global warming.”You’re crazy, you know that?“Only as crazy as the person writing my dialogue.”Are you sure it is me writing your dialogue, or have you been writing mine this whole time?“Big. Flippin. Can. Of. Worms.”One that I may explore one day in intense therapy. For now, the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train continues to fearlessly rail toward its destination of The End, and I trust that all passengers will arrive safely. Now, if there is nothing else--“Star Trek.”SMH. You just had to get that in, didn’t you? Anyway folks, can of worms aside, that about wraps this loony puppy up. Happy writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

June 5 - Day 216 – 516 Words

Book 1 of the Irony trilogy, The Animal, is now free. Download @ smashwords.com.Okay, now that that is out of the way, on to the update. Here is the update: I am hanging on the precipice of completion. Right now, I can smell the vapors of a hot plate of finished first draft sitting in front of me. You know how they say the end is near? Well, in this case, it is. No, not the end of the world. (Though, for all I know, that might be near too) I anticipate one more writing day before The End of the book.“What book?”Irony 3.“Why would you say that here?”Becasuse, this is the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train update blog.“Anything else?”I made a tweak to the covers. Downsized the subtitle font.“You out of here now?”Not before I wish the passengers happy writing. And then tell them to feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.“Is that all?”Nope, because for this week’s week end jam, I give you a song that had to make an appearance in this spot sooner or later. It was inevitable. So, without further ado, I give you Alanis Morissette’s Ironic. Enjoy.

To those who have decided to peripherally monitor this train to see of it goes off the rails, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a same time every day writer. It comes when it comes and the schedule allows. I would love to be a same time every day AM writer. Alas, there are days when I am a PM writer, and even late night writer. (In fact, that is most days) Happy Scribing. Image found here: http://www.sampaikini.com/steam-locomotive-retro-train-hd-wallpaper/

May 23-25 / Days 204 –206 / 1616 Words

Apparently, it’s update time again, and that means penning the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train update.“Geez, you want to ramp down the enthusiasm there, pal?”Hey, I’m jacked. It’s just that I don’t really have a lot to say as far as updating the book is concerned. I’m in chapter 39, 106,000 words in, and I am writing the ending. I am at the beginning of the final conflict resolution, which I don’t plan on drawing out too long, and then jumping right into what I hope is the last chapter. I’d say two weeks at most, if that.“Well, that is something to be excited about, isn’t it?”I agree. That is why the mood on the count meter, located on the Home page, has remained in happy mode for a while now. The animated potato looks like the freakazoid of the week, but at least he is happy.“Have you thought about what you are going to say in the last ever update of the Irony 3—oh, heck, on this blog?”You mean the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train blog?“You’re a shameless promoting shill.”

Well, I mean—wait, as a matter of fact, I suck at promotion. I have my name out there across a couple of media platforms, but I am way below standard on the promotional trail. However, at least the name is out there now. It is more than what was before. One step at a time.“Okay, so you’re not a shameless promoting shill. Are you saying you want to become one?”No. What I want to do is just write, but I understand the need for an online presence, so I will post some things and tweet some things and keep the name out there across a few accounts I can manage. I figure being active on a few is better than having many neglected accounts across the web. Social Media promotion is a job, make no mistake about it.“That’s why they have people you can hire to handle those things.”Pfft. Hire a media consultant? With what? Gold pressed latinum from Star Trek? “Good point. And that one pot you have to go in is imaginary, and mine, so don’t even think about it.”

Ha. That was funny. Oh, and I have not thought about the final post yet. Probably, because I haven’t decided on whether or not I will continue the updates into the rewrite. I think it would be prudent, and I may do something, just on a smaller scale, like maybe once or twice a week. We will see. Anyway, I have dribbed and drabbed enough here. Time to wrap this puppy up.“Don’t you mean loony puppy?”With you around, it is the only thing I could mean.“Hey, I resemble that remark.”Don’t I know it. Happy writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

May 26-28 / Days 206-208 / 1705 Words

Coming up on the end of another writing week on the rails of the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train. It won’t be long now. In chapter 39, I am working out the last loose end. After that, I do some wrap up explanations in chapter 40 and that is all she wrote.“Don’t you mean all ‘he’ wrote? Well, unless you’ve decided to follow in Bruce Jenner’s footsteps?”I don’t even know what to say to that, so I am leaving it alone. Let Bruce be Bruce, and let me finish this book.“That just it, Bruce doesn’t want to be Bruce anymore.”Then let Bruce be Aunt Heather or whoever he wants to be, and then let me finish this book. Now, where was I?“That’s all Roberta Shroud wrote.”You do know what this means, right?“Corner?”Quicker than Al Bundy, pal.

Okay, now that the peanut gallery is away, let me say this about the book’s progress. I have said more than once lately that I have nothing new to report. For the most part, that is true. I have been near the ending for a while now, and at 500 words a day, it can sometimes take a week to complete a scene; depending on what is transpiring in book time. But, do you know what ‘I have nothing new to report’ actually means? It means that I am humping like a dog taxing whatever creative storytelling talents I have to complete this novel. It means some days I am wrestling words on the page one letter at a time, and others fragmented sentences at a snail’s clip. Deleting, rewriting, he said, she said, plot explanations and loop-hole spackling, all in an attempt to reach The End. In other words, no, I have nothing new to report. Only that I am using chewed gum and paper clips to keep the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train on the tracks to its destination.“So, if I understand you, what you saying is that you have nothing new to report?”Exactly. Now, back to the corner with you.

So, in conclusion, my fellow passengers, I have absolutely nothing new to report. The train is still on the tracks, my caboose is still in motion, and Irony 3 is chugging along toward The End. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing. Happy writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

May 29 – Day 209 – 527 Words

We've come to the end of another writing week on the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train. Wow, quite the ride it has been so far. Thirty weeks down and possibly one more to go. I would say more like half a week at this point, but we will see. Individually, the weeks have flown by. Cumulatively, they have dragged in the wind, like a plane with broken landing gear. :) Being that I am penning this update two days after the fact, (31st) today officially marks seven months of writing. Wow, just, I don’t really know what to say. Did Irony, Book 2 - Gin Soaked Dreams, and Sticky Buns, take comparatively as long? Yes, but I have written this one in the public eye, which included blog updates and tweets and letting you guys in on the emotional roller coaster ride of this novel.

I cannot say it hasn’t been fun. However, I also cannot say that at times I didn’t want to run the train off the rails and not continue with these updates. I am glad I stuck it out, though. It will make the completion of the book that much sweeter. What have I learned during this public journey? First, that honestly, I don’t know if I will ever do it again to this extent. One update a week for the next novel? A possibility. None at all, and go back to writing privately, minus a few short tweets on #amwriting progress? Maybe. Both of these ideas are in the hopper moving forward.

Second, that being a writer isn’t just writing. It is endless promotion and blogging and doing things of this Novel Train nature to get the work out there. That is, if you ever want to break into the big time. (Of which, doing all of those things in abundance is no guarantee. But, it certainly can’t hurt.) It is an area in which I find myself lacking; which brings me to another thing I learned on this train trip. It is okay to be lacking. Let me explain. I can and will promote my work, but if I just want to write, and only write, then that is okay too. Some will think me crazy for saying that, and probably accuse me of having no ambition to reach for the stars. True or not, I will take that hit and keep writing.

To those authors who write and also hump day and night for the recognition of their work, I am behind you all the way and want you to make it as big as your dreams. I expect moving forward that I will fall somewhere in the middle. Do some promotional work, but mostly write, and by the grace of God, keep writing. Maybe I will make it big and maybe I won’t. However, what I do want to do is keep writing from a passionate heart, telling the stories I want to tell. The stories inside of me that want to be told. The stories that for years have wanted a voice and finally have one. I don’t want to write to market, unless the market vibes with my author’s voice. And that author’s voice, my author’s voice, is something unique to me, which I want to nurture and grow. Is it unique enough to sell? Are my books any good? *shrugs* I suppose time will tell.

I’d also like to say that none of this is written in stone. I may decide in a year to deluge the internet with promotion of my work. To paint every nook and cranny of the World Wide Web with Irony propaganda. I may also decide that I will try my hand at the top selling genre and see what happens. Because, that author’s voice I mentioned? I am still finding it, still probing, and with each book taking it a little further. Which, to me, means leaving open the possibility for change, both in my approach and tweaking of writing style. Yes, I am writing what I want to now, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to eventually step out of my writing comfort zone. I have a rudimentary plan for that, nothing concrete, but it does tell me that though I want to write what I want, I remain open to growth. Another thing I learned on this journey.

Lastly, I learned that some of you passengers have bottomless bellies. Do you know how much food and drink I have gone through in just seven months? Enough to feed a nation, probably. A small village for two years? Definitely. All jokes aside, it has been a pleasure to have you along on this trip. The destination is near. The Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train will soon be set for refitting. Will it be scrapped and the metal used to construct the Irony 4 pleasure cruise boat? Anything is possible. If that happens, or something similar, I hope to see every one of you back, sailing along for the ride. And don’t worry about food. I will send Red Guy out into the ocean to get more, if need be. Thank you, again, for taking this ride with me. It has been my pleasure to have you along.

"Hey, you know I can’t swim. Why would you say something like that? Are you trying to get rid of me or something?”Perish the thought, my friend. Perish the thought. Happy writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

For this week’s week end jam, I temporarily transform the Irony 3 Novel Train into the Love Train by the O’Jays.

To those who have decided to peripherally monitor this train to see of it goes off the rails, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a same time every day writer. It comes when it comes and the schedule allows. I would love to be a same time every day AM writer. Alas, there are days when I am a PM writer, and even late night writer. (In fact, that is most days) Happy Scribing. Image found here: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/296674694180075857/

May 16-18 / Days 197–199 / 1619 Words

Great News! Red Guy is on vacation, folks. He left earlier today. The party is scheduled for tomorrow. With any luck, that party, and his absence, will go on for days. Now, on to the upda--“I don’t consider tying me up in a corner and gagging me a vacation.”Oh, geez, louise, how did you get untied?“You should know, you helped me.”Like heck I did. I was about to tell them you were on an extended vacation. A vacation that would most assuredly last the remainder of the Irony 3 Novel Train trip.‘Then why did you leave the knife lying right in front of me to cut the ropes?”What are you talking about? What knife?“Oooh, I see, you don’t get it. Bwahahaha! Now, that’s funny.”I don’t get it? Please. You don’t know anything I don’t. In fact, everything you know comes from me.“Just like the knife.”Okay, now you’re just talking in circles.

“I think this is one of those cases where the student has become the teacher. You may call me master from now on.”Ha! Now, that is something that is funny. If you think for one minute--“Where do I come from? Who am I?”Heck, the other day you were Quark from Star Trek DS9.“You know what I mean.”Okay, I’ll bite, but make this quick. I have an update to finish. You are a made up character. You come for the recesses, and I mean deep dark recesses, of my mind.”Alright, so let’s say I am in one of those recesses, bound and gagged.”Which is where you should still be, but okay, let’s say that. Now what?“What were you thinking about right after you tied me up?”I don’t know. I guess—wait, I remember. I started playing with colors and textures for the Irony series covers.“Using your imagination, right?”So?“I am part of that imagination. Anything that you imagine, I am in there with it.”Again, so wha—hold on. Are you saying that you have access to all the stuff I imagine?“If you are thinking of me at the same time you are thinking of that stuff, then yes.”

Whoa, and as I was playing with the covers, which happen to have a rather large knife on the front of them, I was thinking about how I needed to write this blog post.“And since I am part of these posts?”You came to mind.“And lying right there in front of me?”The knife from the Irony covers. Bloody heck.“Master Red Guy. That has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”Yes, I do think, and I am going to do it now.“Hey, what are you doing?”Just thinking“Hey, what the heck was that sound? And where did all these trees come from? Is this a jungle?”I’d run if I were you.“Run? Why would I—Oh. My. God.”And he’s hungry. Extremely hungry.“Nice lion. Here kitty, kitty, you wouldn’t eat a master, would you? Oh, boy… *hightails it* “Youuuuu knoowww youuuu wrrrooongg, maaaan!”

Ah, the joys of imagination. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah, Red guy may be on extended vacation for a while. I will keep you informed. As for the book update, I am chugging along, wanting to finish strong, and hoping it won’t be long. I figure another 5-7k words and this caboose is pulling into the end-of-the-line station. Stay tuned and happy writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

May 19-21/ Days 200 – 202 / 1544 Words

And away we go. Let’s get straight to the meat and potatoes. Things are winding down like they are supposed to. All literary characters are cooperating so far in bringing this book to a conclusion. In fact, they are writing their own ending. I wanted to go one way with a character, which would have saved this person some pain and suffering. Then, I began writing what they were telling me they wanted to say and it hit me; this person doesn't want to be spared the pain and suffering. They want to endure it. Here I was about to let the character off the hook. Well, good luck with that. You wrote your own ending. I hope you can live with it. In other news, I have since chucked a part of the ending. It is simply unnecessary, now that the said character wants their pain and suffering.

Hmm, what else, what else? Oh, I have been giving some thought to my next project. Irony 4? Sticky Buns 2? (Sticky Buns is a standalone book. However, I did insert a nugget at the end that could possibly lead to a sequel.) Or, how about finally writing that Fantasy book? Baralla, A warrior priestess of the Northern Plains. Or, something else? Hey, I said I gave it some thought. I didn’t say I was finished thinking. What I am going to do, I think, is write what calls me. Following Irony 2, I was supposed to write Sticky Buns 2. Irony 3 came calling and the rest is Novel Train history. Will Irony 4 do the same? We will see.

Hmm, what else, what else? I don’ think there is anything els--Oh, wait, I was playing with my covers again and guess what? Yep, you got it, a newly designed Irony series cover. I won’t post it today, though. Still, I think this is the one. You can say it called to me when I was finally finished with the basic design. Well, folks, and fellow Irony 3 Novel Train passengers, I believe that about wraps this loony puppy up. There wasn't as much loony today, but hey, I can do sane, right? Right?“Um, not even.”Happy writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

May 22 – Day 203-OFF

End of another writing week and the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train wishes all passengers a Happy Memorial Day. May those who gave their lives in the horrid torrent of war find rest in the hereafter.“Amen.”

For this week’s memorial weekend, week end jam, I give you the late great Ray Charles, singing America The Beautiful. (Dick Cavett Show, September 1972) Happy writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

To those who have decided to peripherally monitor this train to see of it goes off the rails, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a same time every day writer. It comes when it comes and the schedule allows. I would love to be a same time every day AM writer. Alas, there are days when I am a PM writer, and even late night writer. (In fact, that is most days) Happy Scribing. Image found here: http://hdwallpapersfactory.com/train/steam-trains-train-vehicles-desktop-hd-wallpaper-597486/

All Referenced Images At End Of Post

May 9-11 / Days 190–192 / 1547 Words

Okay, here goes, in and out like a ninja warrior. Not seen or heard, but known present by discovered actions.

1) If you haven’t noticed, because you totally ignore my end of post catch phrase about checking on calendar blurbs and progress meters, I have increased the goal setting of this novel from 100k to 110k. However, I fully anticipate chopping a bunch in the rewrite, so I am confident the final tally will be under that 100k benchmark. The only reason Book 2 usurped 100k, coming in at a slightly overweight 119k, is because Book 1 is a svelte 40k. Which means there may be a thing or two in the second book that probably should have been in the first. Still, 119k is shorter than the 132k of the first draft.

2) I have been playing with covers. I know, I know, they say get your cover professionally made. It can be a difference maker in sales. Also, a bad cover reflects poorly on the whole independent author’s market, further stigmatizing the platform. I concede to that being something I will do moving forward. At the moment, however, I do my own covers. (Deep Within being the exception. And Irony Book 1’s cover was created online. I will post my personal creations of those two below this post. Um, which I don’t think are terrible at all. But, I could be kiiiiind of biased. Nah, they’re not that bad. Not as bad as some I have seen)

Where was I? Oh, yeah, playing with covers. I have decided to revamp the two previous Irony covers and go with a brand cover for all three. The only difference, of course, being Book 1, Book 2, etc, and a displayed icon telling of that book’s contents. I believe I have constructed a cover that, while not professionally pristine, will attract attention. And I am hoping that attention, along with the book’s description, will lead to sample chapter reading.

And hey, if I can’t hook people on the first few chapters, then it is not the cover, but the writing. I didn’t plan on posting them today, but apparently it is leading that way. So, without further ado, I give you my K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid) Irony series covers. As for the third installment of the series, I am chugging along, making my planned revelations and winding things down to the book’s conclusion. I am excited to be near the end, but I know there is still a’ways to go. Happy writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

May 12-14 / Days 193-195 / 2224 Words

Where to begin, where to begin, where to begin? Have a lot on my mind. Don’t know if I can get it all in one post.“Liar. Your head is a barren wasteland of useless potpourri. I should know. I live there.”Maybe, but I like the smell of potpourri. Makes me feel all nature-ry and stuff.“Nature-ry, huh?”And stuff. Do you have a problem with that?“With nature? No. It is the ry and stuff where I get lost.”Good. Now, stay that way and let me do this update.

Okay, folks, thanks for being here and for riding along on the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train with me. I appreciate your company. Now, on to the potpourri. Last update I had a cover reveal. I didn’t necessarily plan to, but I was talking about the cover and it seemed only natural to show what I was going on about. I have since made changes. Will I post those changes today? Meh, I suppose I can post the template, as I did days ago. I am still working with the fill-in textures, and colors, looking for the right fit. I have an idea in mind and will play with it in the meantime. I will post it at the bottom of this update. However, what is a cover without a book, which segues nicely to Irony 3.

Hmm, what to say about the book? Oh, you may have noticed the bloated word count for day 195. 1205 words. All I can say about that is I had to finish the scene while it was pumping blood to my brain. Usually, as is evidenced by most of my word counts being just above my goal mark, I will practically stop in the middle of a sentence when I reach 500 words. I scribble a couple of notes about where I am thinking of taking the scene, or conversation, and then close the document. A clean and easy out. What was different about day 195? I was in the middle of THE explanation of the book. You know the one I am talking about. The one where you finally find out what is going on. I was in the middle of that and just got into a flow.

And, let me tell you, I didn’t want to let go. The way I was feeling, I wanted to keep writing until rapture hit. Well, hopefully, I will keep writing until rapture hits, just not continually. Well, continually, but not … Oh, buggers, you get what I mean. Anyway, the point being, I was on a roll and felt it was important to get what was in my head out at that moment. So, I did. What I loved about it is that when I was finished, I realized it hadn’t taken significantly longer than the usual 500 takes. Mere minutes, in fact. So, yeah, that was a good writing day. Strike that. Every day I write is a good writing day. That one was just gooder.

“Gooder? Gooder? Really? I mean for real, really?”I thought you were lost.“I was, but then I heard gooder in the middle of Star Trek and the taste in my mouth went sour.”For your information, gooder is a word.“Only because it has letters in it and is pronounceable.”Let me ask you a question. Do you know what gooder means?”“We all know what gooder means, but none of us, except you, are wacked enough to use it.”Maybe, but day 195 was a gooder writing day than the others, and that is good enough for me. Happy Writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

May 15 – Day 196 – 503 words

It’s that time again. Time for the Irony 3 Novel Train update. End of another writing week update, as a matter of fact. I’m afraid there isn’t much more to say than last ti--“You’re afraid? Why are you afraid? The Bible says that God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a strong mind.”That’s sound mind, by the way, and I am not afraid that way. It is just a turn of phrase.“A turn of phrase? Why would you turn a phrase?”A figure of speech, you know. It doesn’t actually mean that I am afraid, afraid.”“Then why did you say it?”I meant that I regret there isn’t much more to update than last time. I’m still on track toward The End and am wrapping things up. I see chapter 37 being completed in the next writing day, and with the start of chapter 38 comes one more conflict resolution, and then the epilogue chapter; I hope.“Then why didn’t you just say that to begin with. You humaans and your language.”I admit, the American English language can be—Wait, we ‘humaans?’“That’s right, you humaans. You are bound to drive a Ferengi mad.”

“Feren-? *sigh* You know what, I don’t even care anymore. After 28 weeks and countless updates, just live in whatever world you want. I won’t try and stop or talk sense into you anymore. You want to be a Ferengi from Star Trek? Knock yourself out.“Knock myself out? Why would I do that? Is this some kind of ritual you humaans picked up from the Klingons? Because they are the ones who bang heads all the time. You should see them around the bar.”Would that be Quark’s bar?”“Oh, so you’ve heard of it?”And I suppose you are Quark today?“Today? Pfft, you humaans. You spend too much time in the holo-suites. I am Quark every day. See the lobes?”Oh, I see them alright.“Well, since you know me, who are you?”I am out of here.“Outofhere? I don’t believe I have ever heard a humaan name like that. It is unique, I will give you that."It also has a special meaning. Want to hear it?“Sure, why not. I’m not due to count my latium for another hour or so.”It means that this loony puppy is wrapped up. Happy writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

For this week’s week end jam, I give you a song from an album that I can’t tell you how many days, back when I rode an exercise bike, that I rode to it. Man, I used to put the album tape in my little boombox and sit poised on the bike, ready to pedal my troubles away. And this song was my favorite, because the riding tempo jacked up every time it came on. The song? I Know You Got Soul. The album? Paid in Full. The artists? Why, Eric B & Rakim, of course.YOU TUBE LINK

'THE END' IS ON THE HORIZON. To those who have decided to peripherally monitor this train to see of it goes off the rails, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a same time every day writer. It comes when it comes and the schedule allows. I would love to be a same time every day AM writer. Alas, there are days when I am a PM writer, and even late night writer. (In fact, that is most days) Happy Scribing. Image: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/248683210646192696/

May 2-4 / Days 183-185 / 1561 Words

I remember debating a while back whether or not I should wait until the Fall to publish Book 3. October 13th to be exact, because both Books 1 and 2 were published on that date at smashwords. Being a fan of symmetry, I was strongly considering it. However, it may turn out to be a moot point. Why? I don’t anticipate the final draft of Book 3 being done until sometime in August. Previously, I said July, but it is looking like it will be August.

Two months is a good amount of time for a preorder, I think. Besides that, I plan on a full re-edit of Books 1 and 2, and want to have those up before release. That will take up a good chunk of the time between completion of Book 3 and it going live. Even if I do not have the re-edits done by the 13th of October, I am still moving forward with the release of the third book.

Why the re-edits? Between Books 1 and 2, I think my writing improved. I believe the same has happened since Book 2 was published last year. It may not have shot up the scale or anything, but if I was a 5 on a writing scale of 1-10 when Book 2 was published, I feel I am a 5.5 now. I would like to take that extra half point and apply it to the previous manuscripts. So, there you go, my upcoming independent author’s publishing saga. To be continued…

As for the actual writing of Book 3, you know I am near the end. Well, you know if you have been following along for a little while. If reading these words represents your first visit here, then let me just say welcome to the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train. I am super psyched and amped that you were able to stop by. Oh, and you guys who have been on the Train for a while, don’t get it twisted, I am super fantastically psyched and amped that you guys are here. Still, I’d like to say one more thing to any newcomers, and that is--

“Run. Run now. Run slow, run fast, run high, or run low, but for the sake of your sanity, run. I’m not kidding. This guy is fifty cents short of a half-dollar and you don’t want it rubbing off on yo--”

Sorry about that. Veteran train riders are used to it by now, but I apologize to you first time clickers. That was Red Guy. (Week 17 Days 113 &114) He lives in the corner of my mind and sometimes gets edgy. And while he usually plays a significant part in these Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train updates, he is not always stable. I, on the other hand, am a model of sane stability. Nope, nothing at all crazy to see here. With that, commencing the start of writing week 27 on the rails, I say happy writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

May 5-7 / Days 186 –188 / 1577 Words

Not going to happen.“No fair. The people have a right to know.”This is an update about a book, remember? Besides, I think it was a joke anyway. You know, just for kicks.“A joke? Uh-huh, I know what is going on here. You are jealous.”Pffft. Of what? You?“Pfft, nothing. And yes, of me. You are jealous that I, a supposed imaginary character, received fan mail. And you, the supposed real writer of the blog, got nada, nothing, zippo.”There is not even an ounce of truth in that statement. And, like I said, I believe it to be a goof.“Fine, then why don’t you let the readers decide?"I see no reason to subject faithful followers of this blog to infantile dribble.“First, faithful followers and this blog should not be mentioned in the same sentence. Second, the total sum of what you just said is equal to extreme burning envy.”Says you.“Says everyone who can see through your steaming stench-pile of verbal bull--”

Alright, okay, if you want me to post it here and have you look like a fool, who am I to stop you? Oh, and by the way, watch your mouth, Irony 3 may not be a family friendly book, per se, but this blog is.“Sorry.”Okay, folks, here it is; for some reason that escapes me, other than a total goof that is, Red guy received a fan mail via the Contact page on this site.“You bet you’re a—I mean, yes, I did.”As you can see, he is anxious to have the contents known to you. I guess to validate his fictional existence.“Or invalidate yours.”If you don’t shut up, I can’t post it. Okay, then. Alright guys, here is what the mail said:

Dear Red Guy, I love you. You are more real to me than the person who keeps calling you a fake. You are right to stand up for yourself. Don’t let him shove you in a corner whenever he wants. He says he created you, but I think it is you who made him. Take care of yourself, and I hope one day we can meet and watch Star Trek together.

Forever yours, Tammy.

“Booyah! Keep a plate warm for me, Tammy, baby. Daddy will be home soon with a full DVD set of episodes.”Folks, I’m done. And Tammy? Get help.“Um, you shouldn’t say that.”She is writing to an imaginary character and wants to meet and watch Star Trek episodes with him. What do you think I should say?“The readers get it, I’m sure, and Tammy certainly does. But you, as usual, are slow on the uptake.”And I suppose you are going to explain it to me, right?“Why not. It’s the least I can do. First off, Tammy is a potential customer. You are an author, remember? Trying to sell books?”Darnit, you’re right. Sorry, Tammy. I think you’re tops. I’ll send you a free copy when I’m done to make up for what I said. Hope that is okay.“I’ll help you out there, partner. Tammy? Give him a break. He under stress trying to finish his book.”

You said it. At the moment, I am torn between artistic vision VS reader closure for my ending. It was supposed to be the end of Book 2 before I changed it. It wasn’t supposed to be the end of Book 3 either, but the premise has reared its ugly head again. And while I think it goes perfectly with the tone of the Irony series of books as a whole, I believe it runs the risk, if I end on the note I am considering, of souring the reader’s palate. Because, truthfully, I don’t know if there will be a Book 4.

“There you go. You see, Tammy? The poor sap is confused. You should give him a break.”What’s the second off, so we can wrap this up.“What?”You said first off. I am assuming there is a second.“Oh, right. Second off, if Tammy knows I am imaginary, and that I reside in the corner of your mind, then who do you really think she wants to meet and watch Star Trek episodes with?”What? No. No way. Her email was addressed to … to …“Exactly. Now you are updated on the uptake, Cochise.”But … Wait … I don’t think …“Of course, since I am the part of you she wants to meet, that still makes you a jealous wannabe. But, hey, better a second fiddle wannabe than a never wanted at all.”That’s it. You’re crazy. Tammy’s crazy. This whole thing is crazy--“And you?”*Sigh* {hangs head} Nutty as an acorn tree.

“Folks, if that doesn’t wrap this loony puppy up, it will never be wrapped. Robert is in chapter 36, still chugging along toward the end. Will he solve his artistic vision problems? Will his Mc get out of the hairy situation he’s in now? Will the end EVER come? There’s only one way to find out. Keep riding the rails of the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train with us. In the meantime, feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood. And Tammy, honey? Poppa’s coming home with his brand new bag of Star Trek episodes."

May 8 – Day 189 – 508 WordsEnd of another writing week riding the rails of the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train. I just would like to say Happy Mother’s day to you all. From this day forward, may those things which bring you joy overcome that which grieves you.For this week’s week end Jam, I give you the Intruders’ I’ll Always Love My Momma, courtesy of Soooooooouuuuul Traaaain. Happy Mother’s day you guys. Be blessed.

If It appears I am clinging to winter as long as possible, then I plead guilty. To those who have decided to peripherally monitor this train to see of it goes off the rails, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a same time every day writer. It comes when it comes and the schedule allows. I would love to be a same time every day AM writer. Alas, there are days when I am a PM writer, and even late night writer. (In fact, that is most days) Happy Scribing. Image found here: http://ukka.co/pics/snow-steam-train/

April 25-27 / Days 176-178 / 1165 Words

It is the beginning of a new writing week. Which means I wrote some words, the book is near completion, blah blah blah, the end. What? Nothing from the peanut gallery?“Nope.”You’re kidding. You have nothing to say?“Nada.”So, you are saying I can end this update right now and you won’t say a word?“That is correct.”Oh, yeah? Then what if I say that the Irony 3 Novel train is still on the tracks?“Sounds like a good thing to me.”Wow, I must say, I am impressed. Wait, what if I say that I took day178 off? And that day 176 yielded 642 words, way past the 500 goal mark?“I’d say you were on a roll with a thought and felt you needed to finish it. Good on you.”And the day off? No slacker comments or anything?“You’ve worked hard on the book. You have about ninety thousand words and six months' worth of character’s actions rolling around in your brain; and are trying to bring together the story lines and write a good ending. A break from the grind is understandable.”Roly, poly, guacamole, I don’t believe it. You actually have nothing smart to say?“I disagree.”Ha! I knew it. I knew you couldn't play it straight for long.“What I meant was that everything I have said is usefully wise.”Usefully wise? Alright, what is going on here? Why are you so subdued?“I am just being supportive to the writing efforts of a hard working author.”Bollox and Harry Potter spells. I don’t know what it is yet, but you are up to something.“Nope. Not this time.”Really?“Yep, really.”Wow. If that’s true, then thanks a lot. I appreciate the support. Well, folks, I think that about wraps this loony pup--“One thing, if I may, Mr. Shroud?”Mr. Shroud? This must be bizarro world or something, but go ahead.“I want to say to the people reading this that they should help control the pet population by having their pets spayed or neutered. As an example, just read back my lines in this post and see what the miserable hack who writes this blog has done to me.”And here I thought you had turned over a new leaf.“I’m out of here. This whole post blows chunks and I want no part of it.”Okay, folks, if that doesn’t wrap this loony puppy up, I don’t know what does. Happy Writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

April 28-30 / Days 179 –181 / 1526 Words

I understand you’re a man who knows how to get things.“I’m known to locate things from time to time.”I wonder if you might get me a rock hammer.“A what?”A rock hammer“What is it and why?”What do you care?“Well, if it was a toothbrush, I wouldn’t ask questions. I’d just quote a price. But, then, a toothbrush is a non-lethal object, isn’t it?”You smell like you need a toothbrush. What the heck have you been eating?“Aw, come on, man. You stepped out of character.”How am I supposed to stay in character smelling breath like that? Smells like you’ve been eating limburger cheese on a stick. Besides, it’s update time.“Oh, well, what do you say we pick it up afterward?”You go brush your teeth or gargle or something and we’ll see.

Alright, folks, while the peanut gallery is away, I’ll do the update. I’d like to begin by saying this book, more-so than my previous novels, has impressed me with the creative process. Let me explain. I know I have said somewhere in one of these updates that I’m a pantser. I draft a rough outline and some events before beginning, but nothing in great detail. Conversations, happenings, some twists and the pace of the book is set while writing. And, I write from back to front. Meaning, I have an ending in mind from the outset and write toward it. I am a believer in letting the book come to life as I write and following the course it takes. The rewrite handles the rest.

So, how have I been impressed with the creative process writing Irony 3? Let me tell you, there were days I had absolutely no idea what I was going to write or where the book was going. Not to be confused with the direction I wanted to go. The problem was in getting there. I don’t even think I can explain it to justice, but I will try. On those days, the book just wrote itself. I would have something in mind and begin typing. By the time I was finished the sentence or paragraph, I had written something else. No, there were no blackouts or out of body experiences. The book just wanted to go in its own direction and sometimes that direction came to me in the middle of typing something else.

Then, there were those days when a whole scene, and even chapter, as well as down the line ramifications, opened up in my mind and revealed itself. I heard Lionel Richie say once that he was but the vessel through which his art was channeled; or something like that. He would sit at the piano and not so much create as he would sit in silence and listen. No, I am not putting my writing in class with Mr. Richie’s musical genius. However, I do feel like I have experienced what I heard him explain, about learning how to listen to what wants to be created. I have experienced it before, but in this, my fourth novel, the breath of the work has become more salient.

I know, I know, this sounds all paranormal and like I am ascribing life to something most consider inanimate. I told you I probably wouldn’t be able to explain it to justice. Also, there were a lot of days of wrestling words onto the page one letter at a time. Maybe that’s just it. Maybe, the work watches and sees how committed you are to its life. Will you stick it out on the rough days? Are you willing to sit in front of your computer or laptop, full of doubt and apprehension, and type life into it anyway? Maybe, just maybe, when you show that you are in it for the long haul, and continue to perform CPR day after day between the lines, then, and only then, does it deem you worthy of its intimacy. Like a lover, it guides you to what it likes and how it prefers to be typed, until you pick up on its rhythms and soon are making beautiful story arcs together.

Okay, so, maybe I am talking way out of left field, and a book is a book is a book is a book. You write it, it gets written, and either it’s good or it’s not. And, it’s only good or not if you have any talent whatsoever. Or, perhaps, because every day I type by faith, it is the God of my choosing Who is helping me. Being a person of faith, I’d probably side with that one over any other. Still, I have experienced the life of this book more than the others I have written. That is not to say that what I have written in not a big pile of … Well, you know. It is just that the process by which that pile was created has made more of an impact on me than in the past. With that, I say thank you for reading and happy Writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood. “I’m back. You ready?”Yeah, sure, why not, but this time I get to be Morgan Freeman.”

May 1 – Day 182 – 546 Words

End of another writing week on the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train. Not much to say, so this will be short.“Wait, aren’t you a blogger? Shouldn’t you have something to say? Otherwise, what is the point of blogging?No, smarty pants, I am not a blogger. I am a writer doing a book update.“Difference is what?”Oh, I get it. If I am a writer, then why don’t I write something longer? Because, sometimes good things come in short packages.“Isn’t that small packages?”Difference is what?“You think you are so smart.”If I am smart, wouldn’t that make you smart too?“Hmm, I suppose so, I didn’t think of it that way. In that case, you’re a bleeping Einstein.”Whatever. Go pray without ceasing or something.“What do you know? You are Einstein, because that is the smartest thing you’ve said all day.”

Alright, alright, put down the cross and nobody gets hurt. Okay, folks, here it is; the book is coming along. The end is near. I’m thinking about ten grand worth of words left. Chapter 34 is almost done and I will begin 35 shortly. All is coming to a revealing conclusion soon, and much differently than my MC suspects. Let’s hope he is not killed in the process. With that, I say happy writing and feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

To those who have decided to peripherally monitor this train to see of it goes off the rails, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a same time every day writer. It comes when it comes and the schedule allows. I would love to be a same time every day AM writer. Alas, there are days when I am a PM writer, and even late night writer. (In fact, that is most days) Happy Scribing. Image: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/230739180885290034/

April 18/19/20 – Days 169-171 – 1593 Words

“You like this new three days format, don’t you?”I can’t deny it, I do.“Any particular reason?”Yes, for one, it makes it look like I did a lot more work. That 1500 word total count looks right nice up there to me.“What? You think people will see that and be more impressed?”No, I’m just saying it looks nice, that’s all--“Like people can’t just do the math and see that it is a three day total?”I am not talking about anyone else. I was saying that it looked nice to m-“Is that how they taught you to sell books in Author School? Insult your reader’s intelligence with three-day-total sleight of hand tricks?”

Author School?“You mean you didn’t even go to school to do your job? So, you’re a dropout?”We are getting way off track here. We were talking about what I liked about the new three day format. Now, can I get on with this, or are you going to continue being obnoxious?“Fine, but just so you know, people reading this will not be fooled. They are on to you. They know you are still only writing 500 words a day.”Which just happens to be one of the themes of this whole Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train trip. So, what are you talking about? Anyway, moving on. Oh, and by the way, I finished school.“Being finished with school is not finishing school.”I need to put you in a finishing school somewhere. Maybe it will do you some good. Here, here is some chocolate.“Ooh, a piece of candy.”Okay, so while he is following the trail of chocolate that will lead to the box, which he will be in for a long, long time, I will get on with the update.

After a short chapter 32, I am now in 33. Which, when you think about it, is kind of obvious. I mean, it’s not like I can skip over 33 to 34, right? Anyway, my MC’s are out of the jam for now. I am in a little lull, as they recuperate and discuss a thing or two, and then-Bam! right back in the mix. The book is in the final stretch and I am gearing up for the sprint to the finish line; 500 words at a time, of course. There are still some minor things to work out, and I even threw in something I hadn’t planned on, in Chapter 31. All in all, I would say that I am hanging in and slugging it out with Irony 3 to the best of my written ability. Hopefully, I will emerge as the victor in The End. Happy writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

April 21-23 / Days 172-174 / 1575 Words

“Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”What?“Absorbent and yellow and porous is he.”Wait, is that-? No, please no. I beg you.“If nautical nonsense be something you wish.”Anything, anything but that. I’m begging yo-Hey? How is what’s his name? Um, Captain Sisco, yes, Captain Sisco. How is the war with the Dominion going? Watch some Star Trek lately? I love Star Trek, don’t you?“Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish.”Alright, I’m putting my foot down. There will be no-“Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants.”-in this blog. I forbid you to say-“SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!”

Alright, okay, enough. You've had your fun. I suppose this is payback for me keeping you in that box so long from last update.“You’d better believe it, bucko. I could have suffocated in there.”Oh, please. And did what, died an imaginary death? You don’t exist.“Oh, I don’t, do I? Then why did a commenter on this very week’s post call me an alter ego?”You saw that, huh?“Sure did.”You realize that is just a testament to my conversational writing ability in these posts, right?“Doesn’t matter. It’s two against one and I have Tony Karas on my side. So, as an official alter, I want more respect around here.”Do you?“I sure do.”And if you don’t get it?"I’m gonna… I’m gonna… Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"Alright. Alright. But, one more word, and I will give up the blog before you see one ounce of that respect.“Okay then. A brother is finally going to get the recognition he deserves. I want a weekly spot all to myself. And I think I should have my own page on this site. Oh, and I want a name. Red Guy is not a name. It is a description. And-”You got it my friend. Now, how about we celebrate the occasion?“I’m down for that. What you got, some sparkling wine?”No, nothing like that, but I do have some candy. Here you go.“Ooh! A piece of candy.”

Alright, folks, on with the update, minus red guys and yellow sponges. I’m afraid there isn’t much to say that I didn’t say last update. The Irony 3 Novel Train is still on the rails headed toward The End. In script at the moment, I am having a conversation between my two main MC’s. One is trying to talk the other down from a course of action. Will he be successful? Perhaps, rabbit, perhaps. Oh, and I have a cover reveal coming soon. Stay tuned. And with that, I believe that about wraps this loony puppy up. Happy writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

April 24 – Day – 175 – 530 Words

End of another writing week on the Irony 3 Novel Train.“Do you have to keep doing that?”Doing what?“Mentioning the Irony 3 Novel Train in every post. I mean, it’s not like it is plastered all over the website or anything.”Well--“For crying out loud, there is a calendar, a progress meter, a flippin video on the home page, a page by itself at the top of the site, a separate post explaining it linked in big green letters on the side of the blog, not to mention the rather hideously large picture of a bleeping train in the post. Oh, and did I forget to mention the big red title letters below the hideously large picture?"I guess you do have a point, but--“But what? Are you afraid they will mistake your updates as belonging to the Guacamole 5 plane flight or something?”Guacamole 5 plane flight? Where did that come from?“I like avocados, okay? Sue me.”

Okay, I suppose you do have a point. But, I have been doing it for so long, I don’t think I can stop. Besides, it is more of a tag line, just like the calendar and progress meter bit at the end.“Yeah, well, I suppose you need one.”And that means?“It means that just like no one will mistake this two-bit, cut-rate, raggedy rail trip for the Guacamole 5 plane flight, no one will mistake you for a real writer. So, you need a tagline—“And you say you want more respect around here? Try giving some to get some.“I apologize. You’re right. That was uncalled for.”Do you mean it?“This giving respect thing, does it involve telling the truth?”Preferably.“Then no, I didn’t mean it.”Then why say it?“Truthfully?”It would be nice.“Because, if I didn’t apologize, you might have taken away my television, and there is a Star Trek marathon on tonig--”To the corner of my mind with you, buddy. And no television until you apologize and mean it.“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry --!”Yeah, like I believe that. Go tell it on the mountain. Over the hills and everywhere.

Okay, folks, similar to last update, there isn't much to tell. I am in the stretch run and my MC is headed for a confrontation with his killer. Of course, I have a surprise for him, and then comes the end of the book. Man, if it were only as easy to write as it was to say. Presently, I am still calculating epilogue fallout from my MC’s actions throughout the book. So, at least I am planning ahead like I am actually going to make it to The End. And that, my fellow passengers on the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train, is a beautiful thing. :) Happy writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

For this week’s week end jam, I give you Lee Ann Womack’s I Hope You Dance.

To those who have decided to peripherally monitor this train to see of it goes off the rails, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a same time every day writer. It comes when it comes and the schedule allows. I would love to be a same time every day AM writer. Alas, there are days when I am a PM writer, and even late night writer. (In fact, that is most days) Happy Scribing. Image courtesy of http://www.boredpanda.com/steam-engine-train-lost-tracks-of-time-matthew-malkiewicz/

April 11/12 – Days 162 & 163 – 1102 Words

Hey! What are you doing? Get that thing away from me. Have you lost your natural born mind?“It is necessary to prove that you are not a Founder.”A Founder?“Yes, a Founder. The blood will tell. If I cut you and your blood drips red, then that means you are okay. Now, just give me your hand and--”That’s it. Your Star Trek watching days are over, pal. I am putting your television away in storage.“You can’t do that. I need to find out what happens when the Federation invades Cardassia.”You want to know what happens? I will tell you. Duck Dodgers, Buck Rodgers, Edward James Olmos, Yoda and the Cylons win the war. The end.“You realize that you just put a whole bunch of people together that have no business being in the same sentence, right?”And you have no business trying to cut me to see if my blood drips red or not. In fact, why don’t you just go corner yourself until the update is over.“With no T.V.? No thank you. I’ll hang around here for a while.”Well, if you are going to hang around, then make yourself useful and do some update news.“No problem. The suspected Founder—“What? Suspected Fou—you know what? Just go ahead, forget it.

“Like I was saying, the highly suspected Founder, who is unwilling to prove his humanity, is in chapter 31 of Irony 3, and has turned up the heat on his main character, Detective Reginald Thomas Williams. The detective has got a very short amount of time to defeat one bad guy, catch another, save the girl, and get back to Bay City (where the book takes place) in order to salvage what is left of his career. Can he do it? Maybe, maybe not, but one thing is for sure; there is no way I am going to let those bloody Changelings take over earth."OW! What the--?“Alright, you are okay and not a Founder. I feel better now, don’t you?”Give me that! *snatch* Now, it’s your turn. Hey, get back here!“Gotta go. The bible says pray without ceasing and I am behind right now.”You’d better pray I don’t catch you! Folks, I have to go. I need to get a band-aid and then track me down a mental patient. Thanks for riding the Irony 3 Novel Train today and happy writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood. Hey, I said get back here!

April 13/14 – Days 164 & 165 – 514 Words

“You’re late with the update.”Well.“Well, that?”Well, why didn’t you write it?“You’re asking a made up character, who only exists in your head, why he didn’t write the update?”Oh, right, sorry.“And you want to take my Star Trek away? I think someone should take you away.”Alright, alright, no need to get all personified up in here.“Personified? Wow, nice use of word context. No wonder your books suck.”I’m going to give you some knuckles to suck in a minute.“Hey, I am not the one who is late with the update. So, I think you should knuckle yourself.”Not before you get it first.“Oh, yeah? I dare you. Go ahead, knuckle me.”You’re asking for it.“How about this; I think Little Shop of Horrors stinks!”Rick Moranis Little Shop?“Worst. Version. Ever!”*knuckle* OW!“Ha-ha-ha! Rocket scientist. Can’t touch this. Imaginary, rememb-OW! Hey, what was that?”An imaginary knuckle sandwich. Now, go play with your Star Trek figurines or something.

Okay, folks, better late than never. If you noticed, and of course you did, Day 165 was an off day. That leaves a two day total of 514 words. Things are about as hot as they are going to get. Got my MC out of one jam and put him right into another. Hopefully, soon, he will be racing to save the girl from perilous danger. (Said in my head as - peeeriloouus daaaaangerrrr) I believe that about wraps this loony puppy up. I am still in chapter 31, headed toward The End, riding the rails of the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train. Glad you are here too. Happy writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

April 15/16/17 – Days 166, 167 & 168 – 1541 Words

“I want a pony.”A what?“You heard me, a pony.”Bwahaha! That’s funny. What in the world would you do with a pony?“What else? Pony rides.”Okay, then why do you want a pony?“I will say this slowly, because I know you are a writer. P-o-n-y r-i-d-e-s.”Even if I was thinking about doing it, which I am not, why would I now, after you just insulted me?“Aw, come on, man. It’s not like it is going to cost you anything.”Are you kidding? Ponies cost thousands of dollars. Not only do I not have that kind of money, but I would have nowhere to keep it if I was crazy enough to buy one.“And how much do imaginary ponies cost?”Imaginary ponies?“As regular readers of these posts know, you never miss an opportunity to remind me that I am not real, and just a figment of your imagination.”Me? You did it yourself last update.“Oh, really? And who writes my dialogue?”Well, um..

“Exactly. And if I am imaginary, then I can have an imaginary pony. All you have to do is conjure one up, put me on top of it and wala-Pony rides.”Where is all of this coming from?“What do you mean?”If I know you like I do, and I do know you like I do, then there is an angle to this that you are not telling.“Angle? What angle? Ponies don't have angles.”Yeah, right. That response alone tells me that you are up to something.“*Sigh* Okay, you got me. But, if I tell you the reason, do you promise not to wig out?”Let me hear the reason first and we’ll see.“Just remember, we’re all cool headed here, right?”Will you just tell me already?

“Alright, here goes, Chief O’Brien needs a new graviton stabilizer to fix the gravity net on the Defiant. A Bolian freighter captain has a spare, but he will only exchange it for 100 gross of self-sealing stem bolts. A Ferengi named Quark has the bolts, but he will only exchange them for 40 cases of tube grubs and a haul of beetle snuff, the Grand Nagus’ favorite. Now, I know where I can get--”

Star Trek? Again?! Man, and I am serious, you have to stop watching that show. It is frying whatever imaginary brain cells you have lef--“Wait, before you get all bent out of shape, this will benefit you too.”In what possible way can this benefit me?“One word. The Great Material Continuum."I have one word for you. It is called therapy. Get some, fast!“Do you want the Dominion to take over? Are you so blind to--”Alright, alright! If I conjure up a pony for you, will you shut up and go away. Far, far away?“The farthest. Where no man has gone before.”*dejected sigh* I have got to find me some better imaginary friends. There, there is your pony. Now, go away.“Thanks, I promise, you won’t regret this. The Great Material Continuum will take care of us, you’ll see.”I’d settle for them taking just you.

Alright, folks, it is the end of another writing week on the rails of the Irony 3 or Bust Novel Train. And, the first time in twenty four weeks that I am combining three days in one. Will it become a trend? *shrugs* That would cut the updates down to three a week instead of four, but we will see. As for the actual writing of the book, I would say I am about 10-15k away from completion. I don’t remember if that is still on track from the last time I predicted how much I thought remained, but it is what I think now. My MC is almost out of the latest trouble I put him in, but it is no easy exit. He might get burned on this one. Anyway, the caboose on this loony puppy is still in motion, and that is a beautiful thing. Happy writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

For this week's week end jam, I give you Tamela Mann's Take Me To the King.

The Irony 3 Novel Train lugging twenty three weeks behind it. To those who have decided to peripherally monitor this train to see of it goes off the rails, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a same time every day writer. It comes when it comes and the schedule allows. I would love to be a same time every day AM writer. Alas, there are days when I am a PM writer, and even late night writer. (In fact, that is most days) Happy Scribing. Image courtesy of http://oddstuffmagazine.com/the-most-beautiful-picturesque-of-canadian-pacific-railway.html/attachment/53567

April 4/5 – Days 155 & 156 – 523 Words

I am afraid this may be my shortest update, ever! If you hadn’t/didn’t notice, I took a break from writing on Easter Sunday. There were a whole lot of chocolate bunnies running around and I did not want to miss my chance at them. They hopped and hopped and gave me a good run for a while, but in the end they were snack bait, traveling yummily down the gullet in all of their creamy, chocolatey goodness. However, I did work the day before Easter and managed a trim 523 words. Not bad. There is a part of me that feels awkward about missing writing days in the middle of a book. And now that I am all public about it, moreso.

I would describe it as a flow thing. Will I get it back? Is this the beginning of me not finishing the book? The latter question looms because I do have an unfinished manuscript in my skeleton closet. Mathew Stringer, Private Eye. He was going through a divorce, had a teenage daughter in the mix which he and his soon to be ex fought over all the time, a pastor for a brother, a taste for the night life, and a killer running around killing Christians. Only Christians. Of course, he was an ex-cop who still had ties to the force. Oh, and he was sort of dating a hooker, and had a street contact name T. - A young thug who fed him information he needed.

Sound familiar? If you have read L.B.’s Scudder series, then it should. I did not consciously try to copy one of my favorite authors, but having read many of his books, that is how it came out, before I realized I was just channeling a black version of Matt Scudder. There is nothing wrong with imitating the greats, as long as the work has your own signature to it. 23k words in, though I started to see Mr. Block's influence in the parameters, I felt the work did have its own flavor.

So, why didn't I finish it? That is a good question, and other than just quitting for lack of focus, I don’t have a good answer. Different time, different place. Do I plan on one day completing the book? We will see, grasshopper, we will see. Wow, I did not plan on writing all of that. What I did plan on saying at the end of this update was that the Irony 3 Novel Train is still on the tracks. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing. Happy writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

April 6/7 – Days 157 & 158 – 1013 Words

Well, folks, it’s update time. Time for me to inform you of progress on my in-script novel. Isn't that why it is called theIrony 3 or Bust Novel Train? Yes, I could do that. I could tell you that the train is still on the tracks and that these past two writing days put me another thousand miles closer to ‘The End.’ Or, I could inform you of a news item that screamed to be included in this update. After all, irony is what I do, right?“Is that what you do? I thought all you did was take internet space away from real writers.”Shows how much you know. The internet is infinite. Wait, is it? Can the internet run out of storage? Will there come a time when we all try to post or tweet something, and receive a pop-up message that says: ‘Sorry, the internet is currently full. However, we will tweet your message as soon as something is deleted.’ Hmm, interesting thought, but for another post. I may let my mind run with it in a future update and see where it goes.“You might not be able to post it, if the internet is full by then.”Now that would be ironic.“I’m out of here. You keep setting off my corny meter and I can’t take it anymore.”I suppose I should vamoose as well. Happy writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

“Are you even the least bit excited that the baseball season has begun?”Where is this coming from?“Well, you haven’t watched any games yet, and baseball is your thing, isn’t it?”Fine, I’ll indulge you for a minute. Yes, I used to love baseball.“Used to?”I still have a fondness for the game itself. That will never leave me. I grew up playing and dreaming of being a Major Leaguer. But, between the economics of it, the steroids, A-rod, Roger Clemens, the Mitchell Report and a few other things, I have lost the taste for Major League Baseball. The only sport I follow with any consistency now is the NFL.“Come on. What about the phenom Matt Harvey? Surely, he gets your juices flowing.”Yeah, I will admit to curiosity, and if the Mets don’t screw with him too much, and he stays healthy, he should have a storied career.“Curiosity enough to watch one of his games?”Well, if I am sitting there and he is pitching in front of me, then I may spectate for a minute or two, but I doubt I will watch the entire game.“And what about C.C.?”Sabathia?“Who else?”What about him?“Aren’t you interested in whether he’s gotten his stuff back after the knee surgery?”I like C.C., so maybe a little. Still, it is not a must see like it used to be.“You know what I think happened?”*eyeroll* I can’t wait to hear.

“I think you loved baseball, watching in excess of 80-something games a year, and then it came out that everybody in the sport was cheating and you felt betrayed. Like, if it was all fake, then what was I watching? Sort of like a jilted lover. Now you don’t bother, because they duped you once, so who knows what is what now? In the interim, you picked up football, where things may be fake, but who cares because there are collisions and the game moves faster.”

There is some truth to the first half of your explanation, and it is combined with all the denials that took place. The whole sport, including who knew what and when, added to the players just lying to my face about what they did, turned me off. However, I always followed football, it is just baseball used to be number 1. Now, it is a distant second.“Are you sure you are not mis-remembering?"Exactly. Case closed. I still glance at the standings, and I may return to it at some point, but right now it is not at the top of my list of things to watch.

“Well folks, there you have it. The some truth story about why Robert Shroud doesn't watch baseball anymore. He was supposed to tell you how the book was going, but instead we got a sob story of a love affair with a sport gone wrong. I can hardly wait until the next update. And by that I mean – Not! Happy writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.”

April 10 – Day 161 – 501 Words

Alright, just a few words and then the week’s end song. I am coming to the end of chapter 30 and thankfully still on the rails. The ending is opening up for me and is just a matter of execution and alignment. There are still a few minor details of the how to consider, but foremost is having things happen at times when it is most advantageous to the tension in the story. I am definitely winding down, but there is still a lot going on and I need to bring it together somewhat harmoniously. Then, I can fine tune it in rewrite. The Irony 3 Novel Train is chugging along, still en-route to the end of the line. Thanks for riding along. Happy Writing. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

For the week’s end jam I give you Katrina & The Waves - Walking On Sunshine.