January 26, 2011

I’m baking cookies this morning. I had no intention of doing this today.

Five or six years ago, mom bought me this huge, ridiculous, 3-compartment cow cookie jar from a garage sale. It is precisely the type of item that everyone agrees is “just adorable” but that no one wants to own themselves. It is the type of item that, for reasons unexplained, often ends up in my home. (Apparently, my house has that “final resting place for odd pieces of kitsch” kind of look. I bitterly note how the cow jar didn’t end up on mom’s kitchen counter.)

In a fit of January household purging, I decided that the cookie jar had sat in my topmost cupboard for long enough, and so I took out the cumbersome bovine and put it into the consignment basket. Eliza discovered it almost immediately, fell in love with it, and begged ceaselessly to bake cookies to put into it.

I can be a weakling, especially when hit with a barrage of plaintive 4 year old wheedling.

So that’s how I find myself baking cookies that I don’t want to eat, while putting them into a cow cookie jar that I don’t want to own, which is sitting on my counter that doesn’t have enough space for it.

Eliza sure is happy.

Update: The “cowkie jar” fits in nicely with another item that has inexplicably made its way into our home, the “cowp” or “moog”:

May 25, 2010

I’ve obviously been neglecting the blog since Amelia’s birth, for myriad obvious reasons. I’ve discovered that, due to my type A personality and my inability to cope with chaos and disorganization, sitting down to type a post is on the bottom of the to-do list. But I do miss it; as much as I need stability (and the family needs their laundry done and a meal on the table) I also need the release that venting via writing provides.

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Lately we’ve been getting DVDs of The Cosby Show from Netflix. The kids love it, and as we now longer have any TV channels, before bed we’ll all sit down and watch an episode or two. I grew up with the show but love it for different reasons now. I really haven’t found a current sitcom that is family-friendly without being cheesy or funny without resorting to crude, sexual humor. It is, in fact, possible. Let me know if I’m missing any, but even if there is a truly family-friendly show on tv these days, the commercials sometimes make up for it. That’s why I’m not feeling the sudden loss of our three channels too keenly.

March 23, 2010

Obama got his health care reform bill signed today and it only took a year, the opposition of a majority of Americans, bribery, arm-twisting, back-room deals and zero transparency to get it done. I’ve never claimed to be a genius, but given the shady nature of this whole process I don’t understand why this is a “good thing” for America. (Plus, guess who’s exempt from ObamaCare mandates?)

I’ve simply had it. I am actually scared for our nation. If this thing goes, it’s game over. I am beyond the point where I care about alienating anyone–including family–because of this. This is my childrens’ future.

What a small shred of people cannot understand is that this is not about health care! I will say it again: This is not about health care. It is about the expansion of government. It is about creating a welfare state from the cradle to the grave. It is about Big Brother holding sway over even the minutest aspects of daily living. Arguably, everything we do affects our health. If (when) the government is suddenly the one in control of divvying out health care, they will do so solely upon the basis of controlling costs. As such, they will see each of us as nothing more than a dollar sign. And certain segments of the population will be more “cost effective” than others. For example, it’s cheaper to have an abortion than a baby. It’s easier to pull the plug than to give someone life prolonging treatment. The unborn, the disabled, the elderly, the chronically ill–all these groups will be the hardest hit. This legislation will drive doctors away in droves, and rationing will inevitably occur.

Reform is needed, but this leviathon of a bill addresses none of those things that would have truly reformed our system without taking over 1/6th of the economy and sacrificed our individual liberties. (Tort reform? Being able to purchase insurance across state lines? True competition among insurance compancies would lower premiums faster than anything. It would solve the problem for those who can’t get insurance because of a preexisting condition.)

With the signing of this bill, the Democrats have effectively taken the first step in turning our nation’s healthcare system into the DMV. Break out the champagne!

One of the most interesting aspects of this entire issue to me is the one of liberty and self-determination. ObamaCare undoubtedly will put a bureaucrat in the middle of patient and doctor. It will do more to erode these basic, foundational American ideas than anything else we have seen.

Give me liberty or give me death! This is America!

One comfort? We will not go down without a fight. This legislation and its mandate to buy insurance is unconstitutional. It is a direct violation of state sovereignty and states’ rights. It will be challenged in the courts.

March 19, 2010

Yes, you can tell by the dearth of recent posts by moi that I am still in what I call “all baby, all the time” madness. This means that if I have a moment to myself, it’s not going to be spent blogging. In place of blogging, you can insert something like “showering,” “brushing teeth,” or some other inane though highly necessary aspect of daily living.

However, at this point in time I am pleased to say that I have a small moment of quiet. And I just wanted to post here that–due to some expressed concern by some of you after my last post–I am not on suicide watch. Looking back, it does appear that I was awash in the “baby blues.” I didn’t mean to alarm anyone and life is good.

February 7, 2010

Baby Amelia made her grand debut in the wee hours of February 2nd. We are home and well and all adjusting to Life With Baby (some of us better than others.)

(Cue Meat Loaf’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” please.)

There’s something about the toxic mix of hormones, being up at very strange hours, absolutely no schedule or routine, visitors, nursing, diapers, and February snow/darkness that creates a very surreal, heady, and otherworldly feeling. To go from understanding–with perfect clarity–how murder/suicides happen to being awash in complete and total contentedness from one moment to the next is something that only new mothers experience. I could be wrong, of course, but don’t you dare tell me that to my face right now; the “baby blues” manifest themselves in a terrible, sudden, deadly and quite irrational way for me.

January 27, 2010

So apparently there’s this big kerfuffle involving a commercial by Focus On the Family featuring Tim Tebow and his mom that’s set to air during the Super Bowl. Read about it here. It’s a pro-life ad which chronicles the 1987 against-the-odds birth of the Heisman winner. His mother was encouraged to abort her son due to an illness she acquired during her pregnancy with him. She ignored this advice from her doctors and gave birth to Tim, who has gone on to accomplish some pretty amazing things.

The usual suspects (“Womens’ groups”) are throwing a hissy-fit over the ad, even though no one–including them–has seen it yet. They claim that it advances a pro-life agenda.

Oh, how terrible to comprehend! What filth, what tripe, what downright evil–that a commercial might influence someone to choose LIFE?!? What a horrible thing that a commercial might provide encouragement to a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy to…NOT kill her baby!!

Focus on the Family claims that it’s really quite tame and that it basically relates an uplifting, pro-family story with a really happy ending.

My question is this: Why is it that supposedly “pro-choice” groups have such a hard time hearing about such stories? What about the fact that a mom CHOSE to have a baby–and that baby just happened to grow up to accomplish marvelous things–is so vulgar to them? After all, being “pro-choice” implies that one is equally fine with either choice chosen. These supposedly “pro-choice” groups really become transparent each time they make a huge deal out of these stories with happy endings. I mean, what kind of people hear such stories and grow so irrationally angry?

Let me attempt to answer my own question. The kind of people who are not, in fact, pro-CHOICE. They are simpy pro-ABORTION, and their unwillingness to celebrate good and happy endings with the rest of us just really makes them look, well, twisted.

(Besides, am I the only one who actually looks forward to there being a Super Bowl commercial that doesn’t feature some mostly naked woman pushing tortilla chips or beer? How is that message “good” for women? What message does that send to my little boy and girl?)

Bring on the ad, I say, and further reveal the sickness of the pro-abortion movement.

January 22, 2010

As usual, I seem to have an affinity for leaving things like this to the last possible minute, and I have a hunch that because I’ve done so this baby will most likely be a boy (Murphy’s Law has a 99.9% chance of applying to me). I’ve been in somewhat of a quandary regarding a topic of which is seldom spoken, but highly charged among parenting circles.

Nope, not vaccination. The C-word. Circumcision. There. I said it.

Okay, as usual, I try to keep things balanced here at Lindy’s (take that however you wish.) Those of you who are recent parents realize the sensitive subject matter that circumcision is. Let me just say this up front: We are going to circumcise our son if this baby is a boy. I would be just fine not doing it; however, my husband would not. I realize that many in the “NOCIRC” camp will automatically call me a barbarian and equate our actions as the equivalent to the male form of genital mutiliation. I realize those on the other side of the debate will think I’m stupid for even entertaining the notion of NOT getting my son snipped.

Let me cut to the point (no pun intended): I’m simply trying to research the possibility of getting a “dorsal penile nerve block”–that’s local anesthetic, much like Novacaine at the dentist–for the baby prior to the placing of a scalpel to what I’m told is a highly sensitive area.

Now, it’s always good to step away from “what is and what has always been done,” and to actually–with a pure mind–run the scenario through one’s head. According to Dr. Sears (who I’ve generally found to be quite balanced and who has performed thousands of circs himself), this is how a circumcision today is commonly performed on infants before they leave the hospital:

Baby is placed on a restraining board, and straps secure his hands and feet. The tight adhesions between the foreskin and the glans (or head) of the penis are separated with a medical instrument. The foreskin is held in place by metal clamps while a cut is made into the foreskin to about one-third of its length. A metal or plastic bell is placed over the head of the penis to protect the glans, and the foreskin is pulled up over the bell and the circumferentially cut.

Let me back up. When my first child was born, I really hadn’t looked into this at all. When the time came for my son to go under the knife, inner reservations surfaced, but a voice in my head told me, “We live in an enlightened age. Surely the common argument that newborns’ nervous systems aren’t fully developed and it doesn’t hurt them is completely research-based, because how could we as a society just allow a poor defenseless newborn to get his foreskin ripped away without local anesthetic on a routine basis?” (Of course, this same “enlightened” society allows for much worse with abortion, but I digress…)

Feeling somewhat better, the nurse then came in to get my son and flippantly told us to “take a walk so you won’t hear him scream,” and then that abhorrent woman LAUGHED. That is something that I have never forgotten.

Since then, I’ve learned that babies who “seem to fall into a deep sleep toward the end of the procedure” have actually passed out from the pain. Ahem. I AM a barbarian.

I emailed a friend about this yesterday; she has two boys. She related this anecdote:

I was concerned about the pain, too. At that time, we had a female pediatrician who did the procedure and this is what I remember her saying when she brought him to me afterwards—she said that yes, it hurts like the devil, and they always cry…but they can be comforted and within minutes they are fine. And that’s the difference between pain and agony. That has always stuck with me.

No shit.

Her sisters, who have seven uncircumcised boys between them, likewise chimed in. One said:

When Bryan and I realized that the ONLY reason we were being encouraged to have the boys circumcized was so they wouldn’t be laughed at in the locker room, we decided that that just wasn’t a good enough reason to have a piece of skin ripped off our little boys’ you-know-whats when they were hours old, with no anesthetic. It was a Jewish tradition. We’re not Jews. Ergo, we didn’t have it done. I don’t know anything about the block, but it sounds like a good idea to me.

Which is so true. The locker room argument, I’ve found, is one of the top arguments in favor of the procedure. (Must be a brutal place.) The pressure to “look like one’s peers” is actually becoming less and less relevant, though, because more and more parents are not getting it done. This may come as a surprise to folks my parents’ age, but it’s true. Several friends of ours have chosen to forego the procedure for their boys.

So, I guess there might be a new meaning to the phrase “shirts vs. skins” in locker room lingo in the near future.

Back to Dr. Sears. In answering the question, “Does it hurt?” he says:

Yes, it hurts. The skin of the penis of a newborn baby has pain receptors completely sensitive to clamping and cutting. The myth that newborns do not feel pain came from the observation that newborns sometimes withdraw into a deep sleep toward the end of the operation. This does not mean that they do not feel pain. Falling into a deep sleep is a retreat mechanism, a withdrawal reaction as a consequence of overwhelming pain. Not only does circumcision cause pain in the penis, the newborns over all physiology is upset. New research shows that during unanaesthetized circumcision, stress hormones rise, the heart rate speeds, and valuable blood oxygen diminishes. Babies should never be subjected to the shock of unanaesthetized circumcision.

Can the baby have anesthesia to lessen the pain?

Yes, a local anesthetic can and should be used. Painless circumcision should be a birthright. I have used a local anesthesia in nearly a thousand babies for over twenty years. It is a safe procedure and it works. Sometimes the anesthetic will not remove all the pain, but it certainly helps. Within a few hours, after the anesthetic wears off, some babies exhibit no discomfort; others will fuss for the next twenty-four hours. The most common and effective method is called a dorsal penile nerve block, in which a few drops of Xylocaine (similar to the anesthetic your dentist uses) is injected into the nerves on each side of the penis circumferentially around the base of the penis.

So there ya go. That’s where I’m at. I simply don’t know if a block is available around here. I’ve heard mention of some sort of “plastic cap.” Anyone know if this is just a convenience thing, or a mechanism to lessen the pain?

One final argument that has been most commonly thrown at me when I’ve brought this up: “They don’t remember it.” Can I just say how completely stupid this is, on so many levels? You know, I don’t remember most of my life up to probably age three or four; does this then make it okay to scrimp on anesthesia during common childhood maladies (like tonsillectomies, for example?) How utterly ridiculous. Mom and Dad could have saved some money when I had to get stitches at age two!

For those out there who persist in thinking I’m off my rocker, fine, but let me just say that we mothers–especially those of us who still have small children and are about to have a baby–we’re a ruthless set. We are like the grizzly mothers who will not hesitate to maul and kill in order to protect our young. And that is the frame of mind that leads me to question this procedure the way it’s currently done.

In my informal survey of asking the males in my life if they, themselves, would elect to be circumcised NOW without some sort of block, they abruptly and deliciously change their tune. Which, to me, says it all.