Articles by Marv Dash

Everybody hears it when they head off to college: You get what you put in.
A season of blood, sweat and tears paid off for Penn men's basketball when the team clinched a one-eighth share of the Ivy League title earlier this month.

Ending months of speculation, Penn Athletics confirmed on Monday that former Associate Director of Athletic Communications Eric Dolan is the player to be named later in the 2015 trade with Stanford that landed women’s soccer coach Nicole Van Dyke in University City.
“Clearly I didn’t make this move willingly,” Dolan said in a phone interview from a beach just outside Palo Alto, Calif.

In a surprising turn of events, Penn track and field’s throwing star Sam Mattis was suspended by the USTFCCCA for throwing his coach, Tony Tenisci, a whopping 68.12 meters at last weekend’s Penn Challenge.
Anyone who reads the sports section of the Daily Pennsylvanian would know that Mattis throws heavy things often.

PENN PARK – In a development that sent waves throughout the rec league community, numerous media outlets reported that, in a recent match, college junior and Penn club tennis athlete Blake Henson played okay.

"The only thing DPOSTM has to fear is DPOSTM itself," Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said, probably.
Fresh off its undocumented 10th straight win in the annual Kamin Cup, DPOSTM took to high-rise field on Saturday afternoon facing blistering conditions.

PHILADELPHIA — She had no idea where she was.
Freshman Ilana Bernstein ventured out Wednesday afternoon, looking to find "yet another boring history recitation." But what she found was more shocking and appalling to her than any TA could ever be: a Penn sporting event.
"It was honestly the most scarring thing I've seen at Penn," Bernstein said.

As if the consistent national athletic attention and overwhelming adoration from Pennsylvania’s adolescent population wasn’t enough, Penn State has gained another round of ammo to hold against its longtime Philadelphia rival.
To the surprise of the tens of collegiate track and field fans on campus, Penn President Amy Gutmann announced on Tuesday that the historic Penn Relays will be moving to Penn State.
“Does this in any way affect Fling?” asked one particularly devoted supporter during Calhoun’s ensuing question and answer session.
In what can only be described as one of the great clerical mix-ups in the history of track and field, the first annual Relays — which was held in 1895 — was mistakenly held at Penn and not Penn State, as the events bylaws originally intended.

Junior quarterback Riley Darrel Steele provided the heroics, throwing for six touchdowns and running for another to lead DPOSTM to a thrilling 63-56 comeback victory over the Weenies. The win marks Sports’ ninth straight victory in the annual rivalry.

After being named Rookie of the Year after last season’s Cup, Matt Mantica is looking to ‘disrupt’ Sports’ offense as the new man in charge. The former Quidditch star has a few tricks up his sleeve while he tries to make his side relevant in the game.

Rollie Peterkin stepped onto the electronic scale, unsure of what he might see.
The red digits on the scale's display proceeded to flash convulsively. In less than five seconds, the display read "Error."
Here, in the Penn wrestling team's Pottruck Wrestling Complex next to the Palestra, Peterkin decided to try the other scale.

This was where David Whitehurst was meant to be.
The former Penn basketball player, who has not played in two years due to academic ineligibility, was a starter on an NCAA Tournament team, scored 15 points on national television against Duke in 2005 and was the Quakers' best athlete.

Former Penn closer Doug Brown may have found the secret to revive his pitching career.
And believers in baseball's new mystical pitch may have to look no further than Meiklejohn Stadium.
Brown has learned how to throw a "gyroball," a pitch allegedly invented by an Asian physicist and thrown by new Red Sox starter Daisuke Matsuzaka.