At the risk of sounding like Simon himself, that’s got to be the worst programme title I’ve ever heard in my whole life. It’s a no from me.

What do you reckon they should call a show like that? The Eggs Factor? Britain’s Got Tapioca?

Well, the funny thing is they really have gone and made it, well done them, and they’ve called it… FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD (8pm, ITV).

At the risk of sounding like Simon himself, that’s got to be the worst programme title I’ve ever heard in my whole life. It’s a no from me.

Food Glorious Food is hosted by Carol Vorderman, but never mind, and sets itself up at various venues around the country, where these eager home cooks turn up and try to impress its expert judges, including ex-MasterChef oddball Loyd Grossman and some scary dragon from the Women’s Institute.

The ultimate champ will pocket £20,000 and have the honour of their dish being stocked by M&S.