Donald Trump and Melania Knauss are pregnant

The New York Post said the baby was due in the spring. Trump’s spokeswoman Norma Foerderer said the Post report that Trump’s wife was pregnant was true but she declined to give any further details.

Looks like Melania is more commited to getting Donald’s money than I had given her credit for. I thought marrying the man would be the farthest she’d be willing to go, but to actually let him impregnate her is really going the distance. I figured she would have just slipped him some pills during dinner and made it look like he had a heart attack during sex, but to actually have his child and wait for him to die naturally is mind blowing. Though with Britney Spears giving birth and the announcement of Donald Trump’s offspring, I think we finally have an explanation for nature’s sudden decision to try and destroy us all.