"The bike has a patented folding system that was developed to allow Paratroopers an easy exit from military aircraft with a full size mountain bike. Once on the ground, the bike can unfold and traverse terrain silently at high speeds,with no thermal or acoustic radar signature. The bike also is used in conjunction with LAV's (Light Armored Vehicles) and HMMWV's as backup transportation and to facilitate battlefield reporting...

[...]
* Patented folding technology means you can't get this design anywhere else
* No tools are required to fold and unfold the bicycle. The HUMMER Tactical Mountain Bike can be folded to a 3’x3’x1’ size in a matter of seconds by unlocking just one quick release lever.
* Strong as a tank, light as a day pack, the HUMMER Tactical Mountain Bike is a 24-speed mountain bike originally designed as ground mobility for the US Marines."

I've always wanted a bike that was imperceptible to radar!!

Seller says the bike was originally $2500, and is trying to make it sound like a steal at $500. Hilarious.

I sent him a note, advising of "Diamondback Momentum," steel frame, 2x7 Exage, and gave tips that help sell for a good price, like accurate and thorough data. I didn't give him any value, figuring his asking price is his, not mine to determine. I want him to get as much as possible.

His response: "Kill yourself." Quite a different verb than I anticipated, so I posted it to a Re: to his post and included the bike's info, plus a market value of $150-$200. Long story short, people jumped in, names got called, and the consensus seemed to peak at $100 value. CL pulled his ad and the ensuing chaotic chain of Re: Re: Re: He has only sent one email since, offering up several degrading acts demanding contortions I am incapable of at this advanced age, and promised to "relist every week, ha ha."

Singlespeed bike made from a melange of random kit out of the spares pile. Very simple to operate - has 2 modes: Go and Stop.
Features VERY Chic gen-u-ine homemade chain tensioner as well (actually it's just a repurposed derailleur - hooray for recycling).

What this bike is:
Purple.
Ugly (but then again, eye of the beholder)
Single speed.
Functional. Aside from the random and/or unknown origins of the parts, it has been assembled with care by a knowledgeable bike mechanic.
Relatively theft-proof. Seriously, if you were a thief, would YOU steal it?
Actually reliable and low maintenance as well (all things considered).

What this bike is not:
Expensive.
Pretty.
Cool. Sorry all you tragically hip out there, the hipster crowd will most likely shun you at the coffee shop if you show up on this.
A Fixie. Again, sorry you hipsters, the rear wheel has a freewheel. If you want it fixed, then you will have to buy the cog yourself and thread it on.
Besides, fixies aren't REALLY cool unless you make it out of an old Schwinn you paid waaaay too much for.
All original.
Guaranteed in any way.

What this bike has:
Functioning (although old) brakes
New cables
Relatively true wheels.
A seat.
Pedals.
Cromoly frame.
Tires that, well, kinda suck. but they hold air and are round (mostly).
An aura of trashyness that, while not exactly cool, is at least approaching the outskirts of the neighborhood of cool.

Seriously though, If you want a cheap bike for toolin' around, or you are curious about single speeding, then maybe this thing is for you.

Asking $75 but if you show up with a 12-pack of Yuengling you may be able to talk me down to $60 (but only if it's cold). PBR will work too - but that s**t's so cheap you will need a case.