While Christina Aguilera does star-spangled damage control, her handlers fret about alcoholism. Lindsay Lohan's felony grand theft charge looms. Jessica Szohr may be dating the Packers' quarterback. Monday gossip streams o'er the land of the brave.

Christina Aguilera on messing up the lyrics to the National Anthem at the Super Bowl: "I got so caught up in the moment of the song that I lost my place. I can only hope that everyone could feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through." Personally, I prefer her rendition, and propose using the new verse, "Twilight's last reaming," to describe the fuck scene in the fourth and final Twilight movie. [NYT, image via Getty]

But wait! Was Christina Aguilera's star-spangled flub related to alcoholism? Apparently Xtina "has rejected pleas from her staff to get help after she drunkenly passed out on a bed at a Hollywood party" during that infamous booze-soaked night at Jeremy Renner's mansion. Xtina reacted by threatening to fire her entire staff if even one of them suggested she had a problem. Then again, she's at a career low and mid-divorce—if that's not a reasonable moment for a Genie to hit the Bottle, when is? [P6]

After Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers won the Super Bowl, he might have banged Gossip Girl's Jessica Szohr, who might be his girlfriend! Apparently she's from Green Bay? [E!]

Meanwhile, today is the day Lindsay Lohan might be arrested and charged for the felony grand theft of a $2500 necklace, which a boutique near her home says she shoplifted, but LiLo says she merely "borrowed." The charge—if it actually comes to be—carries a prison sentence of up to three years, plus whatever other probation-related punishments the county of Los Angeles rains upon her straw-colored head. TMZ has been claimingfor days that the charge will DEFINITELY happen, although it's possible she'll surrender in court (thus no perp walk). So, lots of eggs in Lindsay Lohan's basket today! The 24-hour news cycle is counting on you, Linds. [TMZ]

At Playboy's Super Bowl party last night, a lady flashed her boobs at Snoop Dogg who yelled in reply, "Girl, those so new they probably still got a price tag on 'em." I keep imagining Hugh Hefner high-fiving right after. Then I shudder. [P6]

Her stepson's birthday party forced Anna Wintour to step foot in—gasp!—Brooklyn. Yeah, I used like Brooklyn, before all the Vogue-bots starting going there. Now my favorite borough is Staten Island. [P6]

Prince Harry might be back together with wild child ex-girlfriend Chelsy Davy. After a night of clubbing, they reportedly climbed into the trunk of a chauffeur-driven Jaguar for a "discreet getaway." This story is so amazing, I refuse to believe it isn't true. [The Sun]

Nicole Kidman cried with joy for her Oscar nomination, causing daughter Sunday to ask, "Why are we sad?" Tears of joy are a confusing concept for children. And, in retrospect, a confusing phenomenon in general. [People]

Dr. Phil's dog bit at least three people, and the third one is suing. Time for a joint Dr. Phil-Dog Whisperer special? [Radar]