Walk up to her in the halls, BONER. She touches my shoulder, BONER. I hold her hand, BONERRIFIC!- Papa
"That's like saying 'I like Christmas because Santa breaks my legs and kills my cats every year." -Billek
"this is not a ski trip decided on weed, it is a weed to where they have some of the best skiing out there" - cyclo252

Being able to properly formulate a report is a major part of any science or engineering job.

bitches love it when they can see my dick bulging against my outerwear. they are all like "is that a sandwhich for later?" and im all like "no, that is my massive penis sandwiched between the tight fabric of my pants and my inner thigh" - pomme-de-terre

freestyler540$Except for the people who speak french, period is translated to the word

Or in Australia where it is called a full stop.

imagine if your dick was so long you could wear it as a belt. Ive always had this stupid thought that a girl would come up to rub it because it was such a nice belt. Then you would get a boner and it would whip out and slap her.Just a thought. -radtad

"the cat is getting worn out. she started to do that thing that old cats do where she shakes her head and slobber flies all over the room, it really pisses me off. but she still runs around chasing things so ide estimate 5/10. where 10/10 = 5 day old kitten and 0/10 = a 15yo fatass white furred shitty smelling sleeps all day and contributes nothing to society cat." - Spinoza

"just think what would happen if it snagged on something under water." - Pointless_Jib

"What you are feeling is a base burn. The toilet bowl cleaner probably has a really high pH , and therefore must be neutralized with an acid that has a really low pH. So basically, you just need to stuff your asshole with the most acidic shit you can find, battery acid, sulfuric acid, nitric acid, whatever you can get your hands on. its gonna be a chemical showdown in your asshole today my friend."
-yuck