Do Britney Spears Nude Photos Exist (And Does Anyone Care)?

Last September, a former bodyguard for Britney Spears named Fernando Flores sued her for sexual harassment. Among the claims in the lawsuit? Brit-Brit apparently used to expose herself to him, causing him "shock and disgust."

Coincidentally, that's the exact same language currently being used by his camp to describe the explicit cell phone images he supposedly has of Spears. A friend of Flores told The Sun that Spears sent him X-rated photos last April, and that the images "will likely shock and disgust the majority of her fans."

Okay, a few things:

1) Sadly for America, we've all already been exposed to Britney Spears' vag on multiple occasions. Call it a recurring bad-luck wardrobe malfunction or a bizarre desire to have her flappy labia repeatedly captured by the paparazzi, but I can't imagine a cell phone image much worse than the ten trillion upskirt photos that already exist.

2) The overuse of "shock and disgust" makes me suspicious, Mr. Bodyguard. It's sort of like saying "winning" over and over and over and over: pretty soon, you just sound deranged.

3) If this guy really had a bunch of nasty nudie pix, why wouldn't he have trotted them out during his $14.5 MILLION DOLLAR harassment suit against her? Which, by the way, was thrown out for lack of evidence?

The Sun reports that Flores' friends are saying Spears took photos on her cell phone, which she then sent to his mobile, "exposing herself in a way that she clearly hoped would make him aroused." Some of the pictures reportedly show Britney with the camera between her legs, others show her in provocative positions wearing lingerie.

Ehhhhh, I call bullshit on this whole thing, but even if it's true, we've seen this girl barefoot in a gas station bathroom eating fistfuls of chalupas. The bar for being "shocked and disgusted" by Britney Spears is pretty high, is all I'm saying.