SantaBanta Jokes

Preeto arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband, Banta, in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, Banta stopped her with these words:
"Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn`t wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn`t suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don`t fit into anymore. Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, `Is there anything else that your wife doesn`t use anymore?` And so, here we are!"

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. Banta ran up.
The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can`t swim. Please save her. I`ll give you Rs 500."
Banta dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.
Depositing her at the feet of the man, Banta said, "Okay, where`s my Five hundred?"
The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law."
Banta reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"

Santa is a store manager. One day he overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma`am, we haven`t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn`t look as if we`ll be getting any soon."
Alarmed by what was being said, Santa rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn`t true, ma`am. Of course, we`ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."
Then Santa drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don`t have something. If we don`t have it, say we ordered it and it`s on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?"
"Rain."

Santa was traveling in a train. The ticket collector came and asked him to show his ticket.Santa politely asked, "Which one should I show, the one in my right pocket or the one in my left pocket?"The T.C. was taken aback. He then said, "Show me the ticket in your right pocket."Santa promptly showed the ticket. It was perfectly in order. The T.C. then asked for the reason for buying two tickets.Santa explained, "If someone picks one pocket then I have the other ticket left."The T.C. asked again, "Suppose someone picks both your pockets, what happens?"Santa said with a smile, "I have a concessional monthly pass also."