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Saturday, February 22, 2014

It all started with a crop

The first implement that Mr Reg bought to hit me with was a crop. I distinctly remember my excitement when he used it on me. It signified a rite of passage: we moved from an experiment with rough sex to the next stage; he was buying things to hurt me as part of our sexual relationship.

That first time he took me to the attic and tied me to the beams using handcuffs. We had never played there before. I was horny from anticipation, worried about what would happen and feeling very submissive. The pain of the crop landing on my skin startled me. I was very tense, making it hurt more. He hit my pussy with it, and my ass. I think I screamed a little and after a while Mr Reg stopped. I felt relieved and a bit disappointed that it was over at the same time. He did not hit me very hard; I don't remember any marks or soreness the next day. I do remember feeling extremely submissive and a bit confused the days after the session.

It was in the stage of our relationship where we did not
discuss any of it yet. I had no idea that Mr Reg bought it. Or when. Or in what
store. It is amazing how far we've come. As I was writing this, I realized
I don't know these things and asked him about it. He bought the first
one in a erotic shop, where they sell toys. Later he ordered some online at a riding apparel store. It may sound
trivial, but talking about these things is very important. It leads to conversations about our feelings. About our relationship. I no longer feel blocked when it comes to talking about sex, my body or my masochistic and submissive personality.

Later Mr Reg bought a number of different spanking tools: whips, riding crops and canes. I learned that the pain of the crop was one of the milder ones. And that I like pain. A lot. The crop won't send me into subspace. But it hurts enough to feel focused. The sound is scary; the impact painful and a relief at the same time.

We started to play with other people. Sometimes Mr Reg joins me, sometimes he sends me off by myself. When I meet other people by myself, I am often the one who is supposed to bring the toys. The crop is always one of them. The crop hurts enough if necessary, but it can also be handled by someone with less experience or who is less sadistic. My backpack has a special part where you can put a hockey stick. It is perfect for crops ;)

As I wrote in my last blog, I am shared between Mr Reg and Master. As it happens, the crop is also one of the first things Master hit me with. Every time we meet, I bring it with me. Along with a black rod. The black rod is made of fiber glass (or so I am told by Mr Reg). It hurts very much. It feels like punishment. The crop is the reward. Painful but good. Hot. An instrument to control me.

Obviously, if Mr Reg or Master feel like it, they can turn this
wonderful instrument into a nasty painful thing by hitting me so hard I
scream beg them to stop. Especially when they hit my pussy with it.

The crop and I have a long history. I look at it with fondness. It was there from the beginning. And hopefully it stays with me for a long time to come.