Washington Township support group offers help to parents of children with ADHD

WASHINGTON TOWNSHIP- When Jill Duca’s son was diagnosed with ADHD two years ago, she didn’t know where to turn. While she found plenty of information online, it wasn’t until her and her husband turned to real, live people that they really started to understand what they were going through.

That’s why Washington Township resident Duca, along with a few friends, decided to start a brand new ADHD parents support group, called “Support Each Other.” The group will meet for the first time on March 26.

“It was when we start talking to real people that we started to really benefit,” Duca said. “That’s where we have learned a lot. It’s a very isolating thing, like all disorders.”

Once she realized just how helpful those conversations can be, Duca started looking around for a local support group — and came up empty. So they started planning.

“We started doing some research and said ‘Let’s just go for it,’ ” Duca said.

“Our hope is to really bring parents together to create that network and community where we can all really support one another,” Duca said.

Too often, she feels that while people are aware of ADHD, they aren’t clear about the impact it has on the children, their families and their lives as a whole.

“We need to create an awareness in this community. They’re special, like all kids are, but these children need a little extra patience, compassion and understanding. Creating that awareness will offer that, and the children can only benefit from it,” Duca said.

Garnering interest and gathering support has been pretty easy she said, but finding some place for all those people to get together wasn’t as simple.

Since it’s a volunteer organization, and they have no idea what the turnout will be, paying for a space or using someone’s home would be a logistical nightmare. But luckily, the Virtua Health and Wellness Center on Hurffville-Cross Keys road had a spot they could use, for free.

“They’ve been incredible,” Duca said, adding that they’re looking into possibly using their on-site daycare center so that both parents can get the full benefit of the support group meeting, knowing their kids will be in good hands.

Like many organizations looking to spread the word, Duca turned to the Internet, Facebook in particular. She’s also reached out to a member of the school board and the administration. And while she said the educational aspects are crucial when it comes to managing ADHD, her group is mainly to focus on helping the parents handle the complexity of the disorder.

“This is really about bringing parents together to just talk and offer resources, to give them the forum they can just talk with each other in, in this common language,” Duca said. “The biggest thing is realizing that you’re not alone, that there’s other parents that have the same challenges you do.”

She said one of the biggest of those challenges that her and her husband have dealt with is realizing that an ADHD diagnosis is not their fault.

“You have to forgive yourself. You have to be able to just say, ‘OK, this is what I need to do,’” Duca said. There are also difficulties with balancing time with other, non-ADHD children and knowing when to be involved, and when to back off.

“It’s trying to strike that balance between being a caring, involved parent, versus being a helicopter parent. It’s difficult. It’s a day-to-day challenge, but it’s rewarding as well,” Duca said.

She said she’s been approached by parents, reeling from a recent ADHD diagnosis, confused about where to go next. Above all, she hopes this group can at least give them a foundation of support and knowledge.

“If this group does nothing else but give those parents a place to start and a place to go and work from there, it’s a great opportunity for the community.”

The first meeting of the support group will be on March 26 at 7 p.m. at the Virtua Health and Wellness Center in Washington Township.