Category Archives: Reviews

Since my latest posts have been a little heavy, I decided to post on a lighter subject and share one of my favorite parenting books–a book that’s helped me immensely to stay connected to my kiddo. I also share my PDF printable notes on the book below, so enjoy!

If you’re parent and you’ve done a little sleuthing, you’ve probably heard of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. It has, and deserves, a reputation as the modern parenting bible. If you haven’t checked it out—whether you find it difficult to manage your kid(s) or not—I highly recommend that you do.

This is the best parenting book I’ve ever read for a very simple reason; it clearly and effectively lays out an actionable parenting strategy. This strategy involves maintaining boundaries without being a tyrant, being authoritative without being authoritarian, and connecting to your kid on their level, in a way they can understand.

The Proverbial Parenting Manual

It literally helped me wrap my head around parenting for the first time. Before that, I was pretty much at a loss. Not to mention, it made it fun. It gave me the tools to turn daily struggles into games, and meltdowns into heart-to-hearts. Obviously, this isn’t the case every time, because that’s life, but it was after reading this book that my experience of parenting did a complete one-eighty.

After I read it, I was so eager for more that I went straight to the authors’ other work, Liberated Parents, Liberated Children, and then even further to that of their mentor, Dr. Haim Ganott’s Between Parent and Child. The first is something like a Q&A after the first book, with real life stories of parents putting the skills they learned into practice.

The latter of the two lays out more of the theory behind the practical strategies of the first book, along with child development concepts and the beautiful premise that when children are treated with humanity, they become authentic, compassionate humans.

I loved HTTSKWL (as I call it) so much that I made myself a detailed outline and posted it on my bulletin board so I can refer back to it frequently, which I do. I also implemented it in my classroom when I taught preschool, and had wonderful results (of course, the techniques work A LOT better when it’s not your own kid. That’s just the parenting curse).

Get Your Printable!

You can download your own copy of my notes in PDF format by entering your email below. No other emails will be sent, and I won't share your information with anyone else.

Since it's my first, I’d love to know what you think of the printable. If you do download, please share your thoughts in the comments below!

Whenever I notice things are starting to spin a little at home, I revisit these simple strategies and it nearly always gets things back on track.

My favorite thing about them is that they make my kiddo feel heard. They teach how to validate, how to just listen, how to not immediately jump into trying to solve every problem for your kid, but instead simply hearing them and what they are experiencing.

They also teach how to allow natural consequences to undesirable behaviors arise on their own, without blaming, shaming, or labeling. It’s the furthest thing from the ‘be seen and not heard’ philosophy you can get.

Find Community

The Faber Mazlish website offers lots of resources, including workshops all over the world where parents can gather, work on the techniques together, and build community.

If you live in the San Francisco bay area or France and are interested in attending a workshop, please be in touch!

My kiddo is now of the age where superheroes and comic books reign supreme. As a highly visual person, he loves to see the progression of events laid out graphically every step of the way.

Nevertheless, his love of comics worked to our advantage when I brought home our first Superflex book. This series of comics is actually a social learning curriculum developed by Michelle Garcia Winner that was recommended to me by an occupational therapist from CARE. It’s absolutely one of the best tools I’ve ever purchased for helping my son with his behavioral challenges.

I recently attended a conference on the Social Thinking curriculum and had the opportunity to see Michelle Garcia Winner speak. Her down-to-earth, often humorous approach was not only very accessible, but inspiring. She showed clips of her techniques with clients to help drive home how to implement the Social Thinking strategies in the real world.

The one major theme that ran through all of Michelle’s stories was that of compassion. She deals with a lot of different kinds of kids, but no matter how difficult, she strives to see the world from their perspective. Often, children with behavior difficulties have no one in their lives to do this.

Taking Responsibility

By far my favorite thing about the Superflex series is how much it engages my little guy in managing his own behavior. The ingenious concept is that a young boy protagonist who typically has troubles being a “flexible thinker” is transformed into his favorite superhero, Superflex, and is thereby able to become a “social thinker”.

In his capacity as a socially thinking superhero, he protects the people of Social Town from a series of “brain invaders”. Our personal favorites (because they are most relevant to us) are Rock Brain, who makes the citizens of social town get stuck on their ideas, Glass Man, who shatters at the slightest change in his emotional state, and One-Sided Sid, who only wants to talk about himself and what he’s interested in.

My son asks to read the book frequently before bed, and we discuss which characters are infected by which brain invader. He invariably gets it right. We also especially love the card game that offers several different ways to play (he’s a real board game aficionado). Despite his clear comprehension of the material, he is a bit reluctant to apply the concepts to himself, insisting that “they’re not really real, mom”.

I remedied this by applying the brain invaders to myself and my own behavior, because, yeah, I can be a little dramatic and distractible myself. My son of course gets a huge kick out of this strategy, and is quick to tell me which brain invaders might’ve infected my brain that day. This way, he gets to learn the concepts without a sense of shame or blame.

I found that once I humbled myself—i.e. showed my son that I’m a human being who doesn’t behave or react to situations perfectly all the time—it gave him permission to do the same. He became a lot more open to, at least tentatively, applying the concepts in the book to himself. He has a seriously difficult time admitting fault and taking responsibility, to the extent that he’ll often turn and yell at me when he’s stubbed his toe and I’m ten feet away. No exaggeration. It’s that “mom is the all-giving everything” phase, which means mom is also at fault for everything. Really fun.

Anyway, the fact that he’s even poking around the vicinity of honestly looking at his own behavior is a revelation. Nothing could be more exciting to me as a mom than instilling the muscle for this kind of self-reflection at such an early age.

Responsibility vs. Blame

Of course, I want to tread carefully and ensure that my son’s reflection doesn’t become self-criticism, as I already suspect that he takes after mom in the realm of perfectionism and high expectations of himself. I model compassion for myself when I reflect on which brain invaders I’ve been inadvertently affected by that day, reminding him that it’s okay to make a mistake and that I’ll do better next time.

This gives him a framework for working through his own process of identifying the behavior, taking responsibility for it, and then dropping it. No holding, no self-blame, and no long lectures about how to do better next time (those never, ever work for us, by the way). I trust that this process is deepening his capacity to eventually reflect in the moment and catch himself during an undesirable behavior, and even further down the line to have the pause to choose to avoid the behavior altogether.

Until then, patience, both for him and for me. I always remind him that he can change, that he can improve, that he has a choice and is not beholden to any labels or preconceptions, and especially to the past. I remind him that change takes a lot of time and a lot of effort, just like the warrior characters in one of our favorite TV shows who are dedicated to lives of discipline and practice. This analogy always puts the wind in his sails. He is my little warrior, and he deserves to see himself that way.

Many of us have fond memories from our childhood of Saturday morning cartoons and wholesome TV shows like Mr. Rogers. It was a simpler time in the days of TV programming when shows weren’t available on demand, and there wasn’t such a sheer and overwhelming volume of choices.

As a parent, there is virtually no way to monitor all the selections a child might make, and shows tend to be far more entertainment-focused than education. Not only that, but a lot of kids shows these days are just downright intolerable for a self-respecting adult to watch (the new Care Bears rehash comes to mind).

It’s not only an issue of kids’ shows being boring or hokey for adults; it’s that they essentially ignore the basics of child development.

Firstly, young children imitate; they do not learn lessons from complex storylines. As heart-warming as a story might be, your child is not learning and growing along with the main character; they are copying the behaviors they see, the good and the bad.

Take a show like Thomas the Tank Engine, which has been wildly popularly ever since its inception, with members of The Beatles providing voiceovers.

This show was created by Reverend A.W. Awdry, who likely had very good intentions to teach children lessons about pride, poor work ethic, selfishness, and what have you.

The problem is he uses characters who are fairly awful to get his moral truisms across. These are characters you don’t want your kid imitating, even the beloved protagonist, Thomas.

Luckily, more and more great shows are coming out to actually model the behavior we’d like to see in our kids.

Below are my favorites:

1. Puffin Rock

This sweet, beautifully animated series features a young Puffin and his family. They go through what a typical day might be like for a family of puffins, which is both wholesome and adorable. There are a lot of nature themes present, as well as simple lessons that kids can relate to, like how to include the younger sibling.

The characters speak calmly and respectfully to each other, show care and concern, and demonstrate selflessness at time. All good things for kids to pick up on. Incidentally, this show is illustrated by the same artists who did one of my all-time favorite children’s movies, Song of the Sea. Oh, and everyone has an Irish accent!

Another benefit is that these are relaxed storylines; they aren’t the drama and flashing lights of a lot of kids programming. You feel calmer at the end of watching this show, and the soft music throughout helps, too.

2.Mouk

As a fan of travel that really opens you up to new cultures and ways of living, I’m especially fond of Mouk. It follows two best friends as they bicycle their way around the world, meeting new characters in each destination they find. It includes authentic factoids about each place they visit and a window into other cultures.

Of course, being a kids show, it can be a bit simplistic, but it still gives a snapshot of what the rest of the world is like. I particularly like that the two main characters have opposite personalities; one is very cheerful and ready to take on new adventures, the other a bit curmudgeonly. It opens up a lot of opportunities for dialogues about being positive, open-minded, trying new things, and choosing to have a good experience even when things don’t go your way.

3. Peppa Pig

These days most everyone with a kiddo has heard of Peppa Pig. This show isn’t my absolute favorite, but for a popular option it gets a pretty good grade in my book. The storylines are simple and sweet, there are cute little ditties that the kids will enjoy singing, and it’s just quirky enough that it can elicit a laugh from an adult from time to time.

Peppa Pig’s multigenerational family is mostly cooperative and empathetic toward each other. They also spend a lot of time in the garden, in the country, at the seaside, and generally out of doors.

4. Odd Squad

A show for kids who are a bit older, the Odd Squad has a much more Hollywood feel to it. It’s a live action show that features a troupe of secret agent-esque kids who go around solving “oddities” that have to do with math concepts, like fractions, prime numbers, counting by tens, and more.

The kids of this show are really talented, and it has a bit of a slapstick quality script that isn’t snarky or rude. I actually really enjoy the punny writing, and I’m happy for my kiddo to imitate it. This show is great for kids who are into theater.

5. The Magic School Bus

I was thrilled when I saw the original show from my childhood come out on Netflix, and my little science-minded guy was immediately into it. I’m assuming that because of the popularity of the first, Netflix decided to do a reboot featuring Ms. Frizzle’s sister as the new teacher in town.

This show has all the charm and magic of the first, although the kids are a little more modern in their speech and don’t always behave exactly how you’d want your kids to. They also talk about technology and using phones a lot, which is a little too meta for my taste. Despite that, I still love the passion for science that it instills as well as the little bit of mystery and wonder you can always expect from the Friz.

When family TV time comes around, I hope you enjoy these shows as much as me and my little guy do. Let me know what you think about these and if there are any other favorites of yours I might’ve left out.

Seaweed is chock-full of great stuff, like magnesium, calcium, iron, folate, and fiber, and according to Chinese medicine is a yin-nourishing food. Seaweed is also a great option when you’re short on time but still want to get some veggies in.

I’ve been in love with seaweed ever since I first tried sushi as a kid, and I’ve always looked for ways to incorporate this extremely beneficial and delicious food into my diet. I’m thrilled that my kiddo loves sushi as much as I do, because it’s an easy way to sneak a great veggie into his meals without too much fuss.

Seaweed also makes a great flavor enhancer for a simple soup or rice-based dish, and can work well as a garnish in a salad.

My Top 6 Seaweed Picks and How to Use Them

Dulse – I love to sprinkle dulse on just about everything I eat. Dulse makes a great garnish seaweed, as its tiny flakes can easily enhance almost any dish, from a salad to a stew.

Wakame – When I make my weekly Instant Pot meal to take to work, I almost always include some wakame. I simply crumble up the dried wakame, place it in a bowl of water until it rehydrates, and then add it to my stew, rice porridge, or soup after cooking it. It creates a salty flavor that makes it unnecessary to add extra salt. Wakame is also a key ingredient for seaweed salad.

Kombu – This thick, flavorful seaweed is best added to stock. It’s a little too chewy even when cooked (trust me, I’ve tried it), but it adds a unique taste to whatever you put it in. Think of it as the bay leaf of the sea.

Kelp – Kelp noodles, anyone? These are a great alternative to pasta when you’re doing full paleo or just trying to lighten up a meal.

Agar – Agar is a lot of fun and you can make a variety of tasty deserts and unique dishes with it. You can also find agar boba (also known as crystal boba) at milk tea shops these days. I’ve used agar in lieu of gelatin to make a vegan flan, to make vitamin C gummies for my little guy, and to make jello.

Nori – Probably the most familiar of seaweeds, nori is best for making sushi. It’s also nice to simply snack on, and is the type of seaweed you’ll find in most seaweed snack packs. I often add these to my little guy’s lunch as a healthy non-perishable veggie option. Nori also makes a quick and easy addition to a salad. Just tear it into bite-sized pieces and mix it in.

Making Healthy Meals Simple

Not only do I love the health benefits and the unique salty taste, I love that my kiddo enjoys it. I make sure he eats a vegetable serving at every meal, which isn’t always easy.

When we go out for sushi, the veggie is built right into the meal. This is a major win for both of us, as I don’t have to do any bribing, and he knows that he’ll get his end-of-meal treat with what seems like no extra effort.

If you can, I suggest getting your kiddo into sushi when they’re young. That way, it won’t be a struggle to incorporate this awesome vegetable into their diet on the regs.

I hope you’re inspired to try adding this super simple food into your diet. Let me know how you do so in the comments below, and good luck getting your sea greens!

That’s a lot of pressure for a five-year-old, guys. Plus, it isn’t the best way to teach kids how to relate to each other, to pull their collective resources, and to collaborate to make the world a better place.

So I get excited when I come across opportunities to teach cooperation, especially to my sometimes hard-headed and rigid little guy.

Learning Values Through Play

A fun tool for cooperation that we love to play together is the 7 Habits of Happy Kids board game, which I came across on Amazon.com after he and I checked out the book from the library.

It uses the lessons from the book and asks kids to creatively apply them to real-life situations, and focuses a lot on how we can help each other out.

While it ultimately is a competitive game, as in someone is the winner, there are elements of cooperation woven in, such as trading tokens and acknowledging other players for their strengths.

If you are averse to the self-help genre, you might find it a bit too earnest for your taste. But I’m happy to stomach a bit of the hokey if it imparts some solid life skills.

Ultimately, it isn’t the absolutely most fun board game in the world, but I think the instructive value makes it worthwhile. And watching the kids get creative together is pretty satisfying.

Teaching Kids to Work Together

Another awesome game that we’ve gotten tons of traction out of is the Busy Town Eye Found It game. This game is truly cooperative, as players work toward the common goal of getting all players to Pig Island before their picnic is devoured by the hungry pigs. You do so by playing seek-and-find on the game board itself, looking for common busy town items according to the cards in the deck.

I really enjoy the simplicity and cooperative nature of this game, and it’s easy to play a quick round or two without a major time commitment like some other games (ahem, Monopoly–not my fave).

It’s also great for smaller kids because there is no reading required, so it makes the perfect first board game. As a former preschool teacher, I love this game as an intro to the concept of working together toward a common goal.

My kiddo and I love spending time in the library, and we especially looked forward to trips to the amazing Thailand Knowledge Park in Bangkok’s Central World mall. We spent many a weekend lying around on the cushions or climbing up the bright red beehive structure to perch and read together.

The book selection here is kind of special, as many of them appear to be donations from expat families who have moved on. It was a little surprising to find a fun book with a bit of American history about the yummy and easy-to-make dessert, raspberry fool.

If you do it right, it comes out with a gorgeous white and purple marbled look. Mine did not. It was a little more like blotchy tie-dye.

Anyway, I jumped on board with this easy and kid-friendly recipe immediately, deciding to make the treat at my kiddo’s preschool Thanksgiving celebration.

First stop, a trip to the import grocery store. This shop on Sukhumvit, called Villa Market, is one of the few in Bangkok that sells raspberries, and the price shows it. We opted for frozen to save a few bucks. Then we grabbed our heavy cream and we were on our way.

Do NOT stop whisking, or the cream won’t whip properly. It’s very disappointing, not to mention leaves you with a tired arm and nothing to show for it. Pro Tip: let the little ones whisk AFTER you get the desired whipped result. They can’t go wrong at that point, and still get to “help”.

Do NOT freeze the dessert thinking that it will thaw and still be whipped. Not sure why I thought this biology-defying idea would work.

Fortunately, frozen whipped cream and raspberries taste like, well, frozen whipped cream and raspberries, so all was not lost. It was just a little more difficult to serve it up when it came time to feast. And definitely looked less pretty than I intended.

Regardless, the kiddos loved it and it was so simple to make. I think I’ll try it with blackberries next time Noah and I get a chance to go picking.

My kiddo saw a video of shrimp bacon kabobs somewhere, and begged me for several days to make them. Once I got to the store for skewers and shrimp (because we always have bacon, obviously), I went for it.

This recipe is so amazingly simple, it barely counts as a recipe. Since I’m obsessed with digestion-enhancing spices, I simply rubbed them with cumin, a bit of Braggs, salt, and pepper.

The Skinny

If you want to do it the old fashioned way for whatever reason (including your pride), try this:

Put three eggs in a blender.

Slowly pour in 3/4 cup oil and blend intermittently until smooth.

Add 1 tsp lemon juice and 1 tsp vinegar.

Then either remove and blend the basil before replacing the mayonnaise, or put the fresh basil in a food processor and add to the blender for one last mix.

Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy, as my kiddo and I like to say.

This is an awesome quick-and-easy weeknight dinner we can have fun making together, and cleanup is super simple, too. We both love meals you don’t have to wait long for, don’t have to pre-meditate, and can dip in mayonnaise.

Now I keep some frozen shrimp on hand at all times so we can bust this out with no forethought. It’s a definite top 10.

That’s why I was thrilled when my son and I came across Shel Silverstein’s “The Missing Piece Meets the Big O” at the library. Not only was I pleasantly surprised to come across a book by Silverstein I hadn’t heard of–being a big fan since childhood–I was even more pleased with the profundity and value of the message therein. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised; it is Shel Silverstein, after all.

“The Missing Piece Meets the Big O” is actually a sequel to “The Missing Piece,” and it begins with a lonely little “piece” sitting around waiting for “someone to come along and take it somewhere.”

The piece encounters plenty of companions who it hopes can make it into a whole. Unfortunately, it finds that some are too big, some are too small, some are too fragile.

Eventually, along comes The Big O. The missing piece asks if it can hitch a ride, and the Big O suggests perhaps the piece try moving on its own. It gets off to a bumpy start, but eventually the piece is happily rolling along on its own journey.

Whoah. I can relate.

Teaching Kids to Face Their Fears

Shel puts it in childlike, poetic terms that made my eyes well up at times, illustrating with deft simplicity the error of seeking wholeness and satisfaction outside of oneself, and the empowerment and fulfillment that comes from growth.

This stimulated a great discussion about overcoming fears and obstacles between my little guy and me. We talked about how we can’t really grow if we always rely on others to do things for us, and that in order to be strong and believe in ourselves, it takes effort, hard work, and sometimes suffering. In the end, of course, it’s worth it to become better than who we were before.

These are important lessons for a kid who catches on to most things quickly but is easily frustrated when a challenge rears its head (taking after mom). He’s certainly got the strength and intelligence, but our instant gratification society hasn’t helped him develop a sense of satisfaction in having to work for something. Quite frankly, it wasn’t until this American millennial became a mother that I–eventually and after great resistance–learned the value and gratification of hard work and reaping the fruits of my efforts.

And I haven’t got that on lock or anything.

I’m still working on my own patterns toward co-dependency that I didn’t become privy to until long after I became a mother. It’s a subtle, sticky thing, and it’s not something I want to instill in my son. Crossing my fingers.

Not to gush but thanks again, Shel, for another masterpiece that says so much with so few words. My hope is that it can stir similar conversations among other mamas, papas, or whoever gets the privilege of sharing story time with the children they love. After all, a child can never be told too much that they are perfect, capable, and whole, all on their own.

When I taught preschool in Thailand, my kiddo would tag along with me in the mornings. He’d join in our daily meeting (thanks to generosity and flexibility of the husband and wife couple who ran the school) before splitting off to his own classroom. This hour-long window where my kiddo was a part of my work life was interesting, to say the least.

In the early days of my teaching career, it often involved me desperately trying to get him to be quiet while another teacher led a prayer, or getting him to sing the worship songs without adding in his own uncouth variations. Sometimes, not seldom, it involved me trying my damnedest to avoid a total meltdown about one thing or another.

Parenting Check: How Did I Get Here?

My kiddo has an extremely hard time when my attention is divided between him and something else, and this was a particularly heightened situation, as I was doubly tense under the imagined scrutiny of my boss and coworkers.

On a particularly harrowing day, I was making my kiddo his usual bowl of oatmeal, cranberries, coconut oil, and protein powder that I made him every morning once we arrived at school. I poured the oatmeal, scooped the powder, and served it up.

When I poured on the hot water, I immediately regretted it.

My little guy exploded into a complete whirlwind of tears and emotion, so irate that I could barely make out what he was trying to say. Eventually, it became clear that he was upset that the mountain of protein powder was decimated by the hot water, and he was insisting, begging, demanding that I put it back.

Put it back?

I was desperate. Parents would soon be arriving to drop off their kids to my classroom, and I had a hunch that I already had a reputation as the teacher with the “problem child”. I found myself kneeling next to my four year old’s bowl of oatmeal at the miniature table, using every ounce of effort I could muster to reassemble the little protein powder mountain I had just destroyed.

In that moment, I felt so many things. I felt angry at myself for stooping to this level, angry at my son for having driven me to it, guilty for being so angry, and totally embarrassed that every person in the building had probably heard his explosive tantrum.

I found myself asking, How did I get here?

Underneath all of that, I felt sadness. Why was it so hard for us to figure this out? Why couldn’t we find a way to get along? What was I doing so horribly wrong?

Finding Our Place, Finding Solutions

This was one of many similar events that served as the impetus for discovering The Rainbow Room, a small nonprofit run out of a Thai mother’s home in the Thonglor district of Bangkok. I attended a Sensory Sensitivity class led by an occupational therapist from California-based CARE (Comprehensive Autism Related Education), and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing from the other parents. They, too, were having similar experiences with their children.

The clincher came when I stayed after the talk to speak with the therapist one to one. I relayed the protein powder story, which will probably stay with me for the rest of my life, and her response was game-changing for me.

She said, “It’s so common, and so difficult to navigate without the right tools. Eventually you’re asking yourself, ‘how did I get here?'”

I was speechless. She had read my mind.

A wave of sheer relief came over me, and I knew I was in the right place.

I attended several more lectures, taking studious notes. I stayed afterwards to ask the therapist far too many questions, and started implementing strategies with my little guy immediately.

Things took a serious turn for the better, and I started to be able to anticipate triggering situations and prep accordingly.

My plan of action involved one of the following:

Strategies for Easing Transitions and Avoiding Triggers

Avoid

If I knew it was going to be a trigger, and it was non-essential to go through it, I just let it go. If my friend just called and invited us to go swimming, but my kiddo was already set on going to the science museum with me, I just let it go. If I wanted to get groceries but you-know-who was getting tired, a potentially fatal combination, I just let it go.

I found myself yielding a lot, and realized that a lot of the stuff I had insisted on doing or getting my child to do was not really necessary. This realization freed up tons of energy for my little guy and me to just have fun together, and eliminated tons of battles. For the first time in my life, I was really enjoying being a mom.

Remind, Remind, Remind

I’d let my kiddo know what was going to happen until he was sick of hearing it, making sure I had eye contact and verbal acknowledgement that he was ready for what was about to come. Sometimes I’d have him repeat it back to me.

This sounded like, “I’m about to pour the hot water on the oatmeal, okay? The protein powder is going to melt,” or “We are going to the store after school today. We aren’t going to go straight home like usual, okay?” Once I did this, he was almost always cool with the change or transition. He just needed that extra space to process it and digest it before it happened.

Discuss & Problem Solve

If something came on our radar that was going to be a potential trigger, we talked about it.

I started to discover that a lot of my son’s behaviors came from the sense that things around him are out of control. When events and conflicts came up, talking it through gave him the sense that he wasn’t just blowing in the wind – he could be a participant in collaboratively deciding what would happen.

This is a technique I borrowed from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids WillTalk. This sounded like, “Mommy has to go to the store today. You want to go home. Do youthink we can come up with a solution?” Then we’d plotoutseveral options, often busting out a pen and paper to jot them down. No solution gets poo-pooed, no matter how unrealistic, until a mutually-beneficial choice is made at the end of the exercise.

At the end, we’d go over which ones would work and which ones wouldn’t, and choose the best one together. I could tell that not only was this fun for my little guy, but it helped him to feel heard. It also started to give me the confidence that I could navigate the explosions, and that I wasn’t going to have to walk on eggshells and feel resentful and disempowered.

Cliff’s Notes

According to The Explosive Childby Ross W. Greene, this kind of exercise helps to teach children the necessary skills to solve a problem. It’s especially effective for those who have a delay of some kind, either in the realms of executive function, cognitive flexibility, social skills, or language skills.

What’s more, it humanizes the child. It shows them that their parent sees them as a human being, not a sack of potatoes to be shlepped around at the parents’ whim. It gave us the gift of a collaborative relationship rather than the antagonistic tug of war that our life had often been before.