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Hey Baby - Poem by Maggie Estep

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Liner Notes - (from No More Mister Nice Girl)

I was having a foul day. Some geezer harrassed me on the street and I got completely bent out of shape, but the guy was huge so I just stuffed my retort. Went home to drink coffee. No milk. I ripped through the cupboards and found Non Dairy Creamer. It tasted like shit. I got into one of those senseless rages where you throw stuff. I hurled the Non Dairy Creamer and it fell into the tub where I was running some bath water. The creamer erupted and made this bathing gel of Non Dairy Creamer. I was ready to kill myself. Instead I wrote Hey Baby.

So I'm walking down the streetminding my own businesswhen this guy starts with mehe's suckin' his lips goin'Hey Baby Yo BabyHey BabyYo

and I get a little tense and nervousbut I keep walking but the guy, he's dogging my every movehey Miss, he says,Don't miss this!And he grabs his crotch and sneers ear to earso finally, I turn aroundHey Buddy, I sayI'm feelin' kinda tense, BuddyI got a fuckin' song in my heartso come on,Let's go

I got a huge bucket of non-dairy creamerand some time to killso let's do itwe'll make some foul-smelling artifical milkand drink gallons and gallons and gallons of it

Get our bladders exceedingly full thensit on the toilet together and letthe water run in the showerand torture ourselves by not letting ourselves urinateas the water rushes loudly into the bathrub, okay?

We'll do it togetherwrithe in utter agonyJust you and meand I'll even spring for some of that blue shitfor the toilet bowl, all right?I mean, that's my idea of a good timeso how bout it, you wanna?

The guy backs up a bitWhatsa matter, Baby?You got somethin' against men?, he saysNo, I sayI don't have anything against menJust STUPID men