My divorce was final in August of 2010 so, you know, YOU HAVE GREAT TIMING!

Please send your credentials including, but not limited to: a photo, nude photos, any username/passwords you have to pay-for-porn sites and maybe a short/long list of stuff you'd do to me.

Then we'll talk.

Q: Do you have kids?

A: I have two kids, a boy and a girl.

The girl is older.

This automatically makes the boy younger based on the law of physics and/or common sense and mabye some sort of 'Good Will Hunting' math shit.

Both are giant pains in the ass.

Q: What's up with the hand for your picture?

A: Not a fucking clue

And, yes, that's my hand in the banner.

Q: How many letter "O's" are there in Moooooog35?A: There are SIX letter "O's" in the name Moooooog35. No more, no less. Six. Unless I'm tired and I just do four. But six, definitely. Or four. But usually six.

Q: WTF is a Moooooog35, anyway?A: Moooooog35 is derived from one of the greatest Boston Bruins goalies of my lifetime, Andy Moog, who wore jersey #35.

I own an Andy Moog Bruins jersey, autographed by about 20 former Bruins, and it's about 20 years old. I love that shirt.

Regardless...

When Andy Moog made a save, the crowd would chant: "Moooooog".

Side note: Believe it or not, when I was getting that email address years ago, Moog35 was already taken...up to four letter 'O's.'

Now you know.

Q: So, what's 'midgetmanofsteel' then?A: Shit...Midgetmanofsteel, on the other hand, just really fits me to a T.