My Name Is Earl Season 2 Episode 3 - Sticks & Stones

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My name is Earl. You know how those Amish people all chip in when it's time to build a barn? Well, that's what we do at the motel when waxin' Wilma's mustache. Thanks for doing this, guys. My husband said it's like French-kissing his brother Fred. No problem, Wilma. Maybe someday,I'll need unwanted hair ripped off my body... and you'll be the one to hold me down. Ow! [Earl Narrating] Disturbin'as it was,starin'at Wilma's ripped-off mustache... - helped me decide what to do next on my list. - [Bell Ringing] Number 91- made fun of Maggie Lester. Class, I would like you to meet our new student, Maggie Lester. She's from Arizona, and her parents are divorced. Let's make her feel welcome. [Earl Narrating] Unfortunately for Maggie... Tom Selleck was the biggest star on TV... and, well, I was the biggestjerk in my class. Wow! Look at the mustache on this girl. Hey, look, everybody! It's Maggie P. I! [Laughter] She remained Maggie P.I. until she left Williamsburg Junior High... a couple months later to be homeschooled. I never saw her again. There's a lot of Lesters here,but I don't see any Maggies. - There's a Maggie. - That's a Maggie Larson, Randy. Oh. Both names have to be on the same line. I feel bad for this Maggie Lester. Children can be very cruel. In my village, they used to laugh and call me Chupa Chups. - That sounds cute. - It was not cute. It means "lollipop." I had a big head and a little body. - I was always tipping over. - Got it. Here's a Maggie Lester livin' somewhere called Shady Grove. [Earl Narrating] While I was trackin'down my old classmate Maggie... Joy was dealin'with a situation from her more recent past. Baby, I love that spray-on stocking stuff. It makes your legs look hot,and it makes me a little high. And that's exactly how I want the public defender to feel when I meet him today. I want him to think if he gets me off,I'll return the favor. Damn it! I got Latina. [Earl Narrating] Recently, Joy had run into some trouble with the law. She was arrested for grand theft auto and kidnappin'. If convicted,it would be her third strike. All right, now tell me if you can see my thong when I bend over. What thong? Perfect. Let's go. And here. Put these socks down your pants just in case he's gay. [Earl Narrating] Randy and I found Maggie's house. And it turned out Shady Grove wasn't too far from Camden County. This neighborhood is nice. I hope Maggie remembers me. - I'm never gonna find anyone to love me. - What? Oh, nothin'. I was just thinking of somethin' else. - Maybe this is the wrong place. - [Woman] Coming. Nope, this is the right place. Remember me? - Earl Hickey and my brother Randy? - Earl Hickey from junior high? Wow! I didn't recognize you. You look different with that mustache. - [Clears Throat] And... you. Look at you. - [Chuckles] Maggie invited us in for cookies,and I explained all about my list. So, uh, how can I make it up to you? We could wax your face. Or your car. We'll wax whichever. Uh, 'cause it's not like your beard isn't, uh, beautiful and feminine. It's okay, Earl. I used to wax and shave and pluck. And I even wore a ski mask for a while,but it made it impossible to go to the bank. Then I realized this is just who I am. It's my life. It's my job. Your job? [Earl Narrating] Turned out Maggie was in the carnival business. And as we got to know more