So let me see. On the one hand, we have a regime that is pressing full steam ahead with its nuclear program and whose president has threatened to wipe another sovereign state off the face of the map.

And, on the other side of the negotiations, we have Her Britannic Majesty’s Principal Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs. A member of the “EU3” — the Franco-German-British team Washington has let take the lead in negotiations with Iran — Jack Straw has been at pains to emphasize that no military action against Tehran is being contemplated by him or anybody else. But in a sign that he’s losing patience with the mullahs, Straw’s officials have indicated that they’re prepared to consider the possibility of possibly considering the consideration of a possible motion on considering sanctions for the U.N. Security Council to consider the possibility of considering.

But don’t worry, they’re not escalating this thing any more than necessary. Initially, Britain is considering “narrowly targeted sanctions such as a travel ban on Iranian leaders.”

That’ll show ’em: Iranian missiles may be able to leave Iranian airspace, but the deputy trade minister won’t. No more trips to Paris for the spring collections or skiing in Gstaad for the A-list ayatollahs.

She also blasted the Bush administration for allowing European countries to lead negotiations with the hard-line regime of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

“I believe that we lost critical time with … Iran because the White House chose to downplay the threats and to outsource the negotiations,” she said. “I don’t believe … in standing on the sidelines.”

Clinton accused the White House of “substituting ideology and arrogance” for “evidence-based decision-making.”

Clinton’s comments came on a day when the International Atomic Energy Agency accepted Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice’s call for a Feb. 2 emergency meeting to address Iran’s insistence on resuming uranium enrichment, a precursor to development of atomic weapons.

I don’t even where to start on this. I mean, Bush is doing exactly what retards decry he didn’t do with Iraq and now he gets shit for it??? I swear, Bush could cure cancer next week and the libs would bitch about how AIDS victims are left out in the cold in Bush’s compassionate conservatism. Sheesh.

On to Mr. Chirac:

French President Jacques Chirac has said France would be ready to use nuclear weapons against any state which launched a terrorist attack against it. Speaking at a nuclear submarine base in north-western France, Mr Chirac said a French response “could be conventional. It could also be of another nature.” He said France’s nuclear forces had been configured for such an event.

Jacque, Jacque, put down that sabre you jingo-istic warmongerer you!

Do you see what I mean??? The French are acting tough and Bush is getting shit for being too diplomatic…I’m almost afraid to leave the house today. I’m mean, what if, like, gravity stops working or something?

(BTW, the title is an allusion to Team America: World Police (done by the clever South Park guys) and constantly provides life imitating art material.)

Well, not that anyone should be surprised that Iran is thumbing their nose at the toothless UN and the IAEA, but they have removed the seals on their uranium enrichment facility. They are expected to resume the uranium enrichment process shortly, a key step in the production of nuclear weapons. Just to remind some folks that out of the many reasons cited in the congressional authority to go to war with Iraq, one of them was to enforce UN resolutions that were currently being disobeyed and ignored. After all, diplomacy is useless without the credible threat of force to back it up. It’s all very common sense stuff and is one the main reasons why the UN is such a laughable institution these days. They can issue proclamation after proclamation, but if the UN isn’t willing to do anything to actually enforce them, it shouldn’t come as a surprise when certain players tell the UN in their most eloquent, diplomatic speech to “eat a dick.”

Not content to ire the world too much with his holocaust denial, wanting to wipe Israel off the map, calling nuclear talks with the EU “useless” and generally being an overall prick, Iranian “President” Mahmoud Ahmadinejad annouced that he hopes Sharon will die and that other criminals like him will join him. It’s like he is begging to bring the whole situation to a violent end, but we’re seeing that behavioral condition a lot more these days from our Muslim brother than not. Oh, and can we stop immediately calling Islam a religion of peace every time some muslim kills a lot of people? That’s starting to get real old. Sheesh.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has shown his country and yes, indeed, the world itself that he has a special place in his heart for Israel after all. In his Excellency’s benevolent magnanimity, President Ahmadinejad has backed off his earlier comments that Israel should be wiped off the map and is now backing a gentler, kinder stance of simply moving Israel to Europe. Hardliners needn’t worry much though, as His Most Gracious Ruler is still an outright Holocaust denier.