Montpellier owner says Cabella will be 'bored s***less in Newcastle' - but we can think of at least FIVE reasons why he won't!

Outspoken Montpellier president Louis Nicollin has advised midfield star Remy Cabella not to sign for Newcastle United because he will be 'bored s***less in Newcastle.'

An agreement between Montpellier and Newcastle for the highly-touted 23-year-old was reportedly struck on Tuesday, although Nicollin's son, Laurent, who runs the club on a daily basis, insisted Cabella would not be leaving Montpellier this winter.

In an interview with RTL, Nicollin Snr, who dyed his hair orange and blue when Montpellier won the French title in 2012, said: 'There is already one of ours there (Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa), and I hope he enjoys it. Remy, I think, deserves something different than Newcastle.

Wanted: Remy Cabella (left) is seen as the perfect replacement for the outgoing Yohan Cabaye

'Personally, I wouldn't go there. You must get bored s***less in Newcastle.'

In a sperate interview, Nicollin Jr confirmed the club's stance of not wanting to sell Cabelle in this window: 'There is nothing at all, and there won't be anything done (this month). I don't want to pay huge amounts of tax this year, because the budget ends on June 30. I prefer that it's from July 1.

Wacky: Montpellier's president (right) is a colourful character

'If there are offers, and good offers, that will allow us to have a good season next season especially if we're in the top division. But there is no question at all of him leaving now. I've heard a lot of old rubbish.'

It is thought Alan Pardew sees Cabella as an ideal replacement for Yohan Cabaye who has been strongly linked with a move to Paris Saint-Germain this month. Reports in France claim the two clubs have agreed a fee of £26million for the French international.

'I think Newcastle are interested because they are undoubtedly going to say yes to Paris Saint-Germain for the cash. But us, we're not stupid enough to give those English Cabella for Cabaye,' added Nicollin Snr.

The serenity of St Roch Square is a far cry from the bright lights and party nights of Newcastle

Cabella would become Newcastle's 14th French player if completing his move to Tyneside

The Toon!Cabella needn't waste away the hours in a hotel room or on his X-Box, not when he can 'gan doon the Toon'. Our Magpie metropolis is awash with shops, bars, restaurants, cinemas and theatres. And, as the Eldon Square marketing campaign tells you, it's even “alive after 5” - yes, shops stay open until after 5 o'clock. Throw in the nightlife – the Diamond Strip has replaced the Bigg Market – where United's footballers are afforded God-like status, and Cabella will soon feel at home in Geordieland.

The coastWho needs the French Riviera when you've got Whitley Bay and Tynemouth? For should Cabella journey up the Coast Road and past Wallsend, he'll reach our magnificent stretch of coastline. In the summer (or when temperatures are north of 15C) the beaches are packed with sun-seaking revellers. Part of the beauty of Newcastle is its proximity to the coast and towns such as Tynemouth – where, incidentally, Super Gran was filmed – are quaint little gems far removed from the bustle of city life.

The Quayside Other than the Kevin Keegan years and success under Sir Bobby Robson, Newcastle's biggest achievement over the past two decades has been the regeneration of the Quayside. The Tyne Bridge has always been its stunning centrepiece but now it looks down on the Millennium Bridge as well an array of bars, restaurants, art galleries and swish, glass-fronted offices.

Hadrian's WallShould Cabella decide to set up home in Newcastle, he will never be more than 15 minutes from the city, the coast or, perhaps best of all, the countryside. There, in the Tyne Valley and running through Northumberland and into Cumbria, he will find Hadrian's Wall, built in AD122 during the rule of the Roman emperor. Cabella could follow its trail through the rural landscape and even stop off for a bite to eat at the many pubs along its path.

And finally, the airport...As Kevin Keegan once said to Rob Lee, 'Newcastle is closer to London than Middlesbrough'. And KK was right, for Newcastle International Airport is only 15 minutes from the city centre with flight time to the capital less than an hour. There is already an established route to the south coast of France, as well as countless destinations across the globe. So, should Cabella have over indulged in the splendour of the Toon, coast, Quayside and countryside, he could always jet away for a short break.