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“I joined PETA, because every time I see a baby seal, I just want to hug it and never let it go,” Sczerba said. But then, in the latest PETA newsletter, they were going on and on about how they’re trying to save this rare species of crab, and I was like, ‘Why? That thing is disgusting!’ Before long, it became clear that half the things they wanted to save were either scary-looking or slimy, so I stopped giving to them.”