Washing Up

...the main thought that drifts like a soap bubble through my head as I'm doing dishes these days is to simply wonder where all these damn dishes come from in the first place.

See, like most men, I secretly believe that I could do an adequate job of cooking just about anything from yak flank to tapioca with a Swiss Army knife and a reasonably placed open flame. This could be a cigarette lighter, even. Granted, coffee, tortillas and flan might be hard to make with only these tools, but fuck flan, I hate that gelatinous crap anyway.

This reaches a point of ridiculousness when you're in the midst of some cooking project and you run into a delay of 10 minutes or more because you can't find the specific thing you were looking for. Laughable. I could've used almost anything to mash bananas - bananas are inherently mashable. I can mash a banana by looking at it. Why did I have to find the masher? Because I always use the masher (twice yesterday for Thanksgiving) and I wanted to know where it was. I knew where my hammer was, I could have used that; but no - gotta find the masher, right now.

Finally, this culminates in washing 1000 dishes. When I could have just put my lighter in my pocket and wiped down my Swiss Army knife. Even if the "dishwasher" were working (which it isn't) everyone knows it's really just a dishwarmer anyway, for people who like hot dishes. You can't load in anything you've fried anything in, or cooked meat on, or baked cookies or casseroles in without washing it first. Some will say 'rinsing' but that's a crock pot of bullshit right there. When I had to 'rinse' the bowl in which my wife cooked her grandmother's squash casserole recipe yesterday, I had to scrub it with soap and water. You know what that's called? Washing.

Anyway - I hope you had a good Thanksgiving and are avoiding that Black Friday nonsense right now.

Comments

Washing Up

...the main thought that drifts like a soap bubble through my head as I'm doing dishes these days is to simply wonder where all these damn dishes come from in the first place.

See, like most men, I secretly believe that I could do an adequate job of cooking just about anything from yak flank to tapioca with a Swiss Army knife and a reasonably placed open flame. This could be a cigarette lighter, even. Granted, coffee, tortillas and flan might be hard to make with only these tools, but fuck flan, I hate that gelatinous crap anyway.

This reaches a point of ridiculousness when you're in the midst of some cooking project and you run into a delay of 10 minutes or more because you can't find the specific thing you were looking for. Laughable. I could've used almost anything to mash bananas - bananas are inherently mashable. I can mash a banana by looking at it. Why did I have to find the masher? Because I always use the masher (twice yesterday for Thanksgiving) and I wanted to know where it was. I knew where my hammer was, I could have used that; but no - gotta find the masher, right now.

Finally, this culminates in washing 1000 dishes. When I could have just put my lighter in my pocket and wiped down my Swiss Army knife. Even if the "dishwasher" were working (which it isn't) everyone knows it's really just a dishwarmer anyway, for people who like hot dishes. You can't load in anything you've fried anything in, or cooked meat on, or baked cookies or casseroles in without washing it first. Some will say 'rinsing' but that's a crock pot of bullshit right there. When I had to 'rinse' the bowl in which my wife cooked her grandmother's squash casserole recipe yesterday, I had to scrub it with soap and water. You know what that's called? Washing.

Anyway - I hope you had a good Thanksgiving and are avoiding that Black Friday nonsense right now.