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Three weeks old still no latch

I'm grateful to have found this site. I gave birth to my fourth child Kaison three weeks ago. It was a very traumatic birth and he was in NICU even though he was full term. Against my wishes he was bottle fed and I was delayed getting him to breast. Then he had three terrible bouts of jaundice and I was advised to continue pumping and bottle feed my EBM as he had lost almost 20% of his birth weight. So for his well being I put breastfeeding on hold again in hopes of getting him healthy

Now Kaison is back to his birth weight and still only taking in my EBM by bottle. I have been trying everyday to get him to breast but he will not latch. I have successfully breastfed my other three children for over a year each without issue so this has been a terrible emotional struggle for me. I want to breastfeed so badly and I'm hoping that it will happen still.

I have hopes that I will find support here and hear of success stories that will inspire me during both my good and bad days. I never ever thought I would not be able to breastfeed but find myself struggling with exactly that. So for now I continue to pump every three hours and bottle feed my breast milk right after. I keep hoping that the next time I put Kaison to breast he will just latch and this will be behind me.

To the other Moms that are struggling to breast feed just know that you aren't alone

Re: Three weeks old still no latch

Awh, bigmama.

I am sure somebody else with a lot more knowledge will come along, but I don't think three weeks is too late. Can you reach out to your local LLLi leader asap? Can you also call an IBCLC right away? It sounds like some hands-on help would really be a good thing right now. It's free to get help from LLL - even if you aren't a member. An IBCLC will probably charge you, but it's money well spent. You know that nursing is easier than pumping and bottle feeding.

My daughter had an awful latch, and I had to teach her how to do it. I believe there is hope for you. I would reach out asap, and I would do lots and lots of skin to skin. I am rooting for you. Your birth sounds really hard. I am so sorry it was not your ideal birth. Congrats on your new baby.

Christine
Baby Girl Born 2/17/10 to her two mommies
BF from day one. I looked up one day and realized I'm nursing a toddler!

Re: Three weeks old still no latch

Welcome mama, and congrats on baby #3! I am sorry his arrival was so rough, and that you've been denied the breastfeeding relationship of your dreams so far. I think this sort of thing can be even harder for an experienced mom than a first-time mom, since an experienced mom knows what she is missing! I hope success is right around the corner for you. This is my favorite link on getting a baby back to the breast: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...to-breast.html

Re: Three weeks old still no latch

Mama, huge to you. My fourth child was born with a cleft palate, rendering him unable to nurse. I cried every.single.day for months about not being able to nurse him, and I tried very hard to make it happen. The emotional toll is difficult.

But you have a shot at this Check out that link. Call a local IBCLC; under the health plan changes, your insurance company is required to pay for lactation services!

Re: Three weeks old still no latch

Thank you all so much! I have read further into my issues on this site and it appears that my babes frustration seems to be that he doesn't want to wait for letdown. When I get him to breast he will suck once or twice but when he doesn't get a mouthful he arches, pushes away and screams. I do have a syringe and tube to supplement but he rips it off my breast with his clawing and flailing arms hence his nickname "Kaisonsaurausrex"

So I have found myself twice in tears this morning feeling clumsy and unsure of how I managed to BF three times prior. I have reached out again to the consultant I've been working with and feel lost still. Im certain I'm asking for help but unsure why I'm not getting it. What I do keep hearing is I'm doing everything right and to keep trying. I guess I'm looking for a magic answer that just isn't there. I've also been told that maybe I just need to start grieving the fact that my babe can't BF and accept it but I just can't bring myself to do that. I am surprised at how emotionally distraught I am over this but from what I've read it seems to be common

I have been invited to the LLL meeting tomorrow so I'm hoping to attend that as I need to get all of the help and support I can!

Re: Three weeks old still no latch

Huge hugs to you!! Is the consultant you worked with IBCLC certified? If not (or even if) have you considered a second opinion? It sounds like either she is not super supportive or she doesn't have the skill set to help you,and someone else would!! I really encourage you to go to the LLL meeting, if at all possible, with Kaison. I think it would do you a world of good!!

Re: Three weeks old still no latch

Yes the consultant is certified. I live in Canada and she is actually the public health nurse. You are correct tho I don't find her supportive and that is what I need after three solid weeks of my own uncertainty. She is very informative but I need more than that right now. It took a lot for me to call and ask for help today and made me feel awful not to get it

I have reached out for the LLL meeting details for tomorrow. I'm glad to hear you say you think I should take Kaison and that it would do me good! That is so what I need right now. Thank you

Re: Three weeks old still no latch

You've already gotten great advice. I just wanted to say it is completely possible still. My daughter was in the NICU for 28 days. I took me a month after I got her home to even latch and another month before it was consistent. Then it took 2 months to get it all right! My son took 3 weeks to latch. It sounds like you have the determination and I believe that is your strongest asset right now. Stay strong and determined.

Re: Three weeks old still no latch

Dear kst.7399 thank you for your reply to hear you had success gives me hope. Did you use a supplement device or just keep putting babe to breast? Did you also experience days where you had progress then seem to go right back to square one? Do you have any other advice on your experience? Sorry to ask so much it's just you're the first to have had a similar experience that I've heard from and i would appreciate hearing anything you have to offer to add to the great advice Ive already received

Re: Three weeks old still no latch

With both I would say they each had to have their own lightbulb moment. I know that doesn't help but it's true. With my daughter I had a serious meltdown. My husband came home to find my daughter and I in a puddle of tears on the floor. I told him I was giving up. That I just had to be an exclusive pumper. He took me and sat me down. He set me all up, boppy, baby, got her in the right position, even standing back like a painter to survey his work and adjusting as needed. He then took my breast, made a sandwich and popped it into my daughters mouth and she latched on. I'd love to say that was it but it wasn't. It still took work. I finally got to a point where one day I had to just only offer the breast. And she got it. Loads of tears but she finally got that my breast was where the milk came from.

With my son it was sort of the same. I just picked a day and only offered the breast. I would get a letdown going with the pump and offer my breast with milk on the nipple.

The common denominator for both was comfortable positioning, staying calm and just offering constantly. I found the football hold worked best for my breast shape - my boobs kind of point left and right. I made sure that I could squirt milk at them to show them it had what they wanted.

I never used an SNS but some find it helpful. The shield helped with my daughter but not my son.