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Blurred With Age

I’ve had a lovely cold for the last 72 hours. I’ve been watching television and sleeping, and I am now in a weird trance-like state. There are two noteworthy moments of telly that I would like to share with ye.

One of these was during Channel 9’s THE NRL FOOTY SHOW which was entertaining, as always. Thing is, I’m not into League - AFL is my code and I want the West Coast Eagles to win the flag this weekend. However, THE AFL FOOTY SHOW is crap.

Why? Briefly; Sam Newman is a thug. THE AFL FOOTY SHOW seems happy to run with Sam verbally attacking the less mentally-agile; whether they are players or fans on the streets of Melbourne. THE NRL FOOTY SHOW has a really strong on-camera team of Fatty, Sterlo, Matty Johns and The Chief. They actually know how to work together and the whole thing just clicks.

THE AFL FOOTY SHOW has Gary Lyons and Jamie Bradshaw constantly telling Sam to move on. He is essentially not a team player. Sure, people tune in to see him, but it’s car-crash stuff. The whole forward-motion of the show is held up by a cranky old man in his 50s who wants to prove that he’s smarter and tougher than anyone else. Pathetic.

Tonight was the 2006 final for both shows. The high point of the NRL Show was Sterlo singing Devo’s Whip It really, really badly. He wore the energy dome and was surrounded by whip-wielding dancing girls to distract from his tunelessness.

The other highpoint of my sick-at-home TV marathon was an infomercial for Victoria Principal’s Reclaim.

You youngsters might not remember Victoria playing the part of Pam Ewing in 1980s soap block-buster series DALLAS. And count yourself lucky. These days she hawks her own line of skincare products known as Principal Secret.

Victoria begins her sales pitch by relating a tale in the second person, “You’re just walking around…” You’re feeling great about yourself. Then you see yourself reflected in a shop window. “Your face is blurred with age – and it hurts.”

It's like she knows us. She really gets who we are and where we're coming from.

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