The man, who was wearing only underwear and appeared drunk at the time, said he floated south from North Korea, [Joint Chiefs of Staff spokesman] Lee said.

Gan bae, Captain.

“The man said he crossed to the South, holding on to a floating object to waters off the coast of Gyodong Island,” Lee said. “The floating object is seen as a wooden board that drifted due to the flood in the North.”

This might be the best drinking story ever. Man goes on bender. Bender turns into drunken swim. Man Kate Winslets his way through Korean islands on a piece of wood. Man wakes up in South Korea freedom. (Actually, getting drunk and waking up in North Korea might be an even better story, but only for, like, five minutes. This is better.)

The upside, of course, is that

South Korea returns North Koreans who accidentally drift to the South if they want to return, but accepts any North Korean defectors who want to live in the South.

Who knew it was so easy? Citizens of the DPRK might consider a leisurely swim more often.

Recall, however, the punishment meted out to family members of citizens who defect. This might have been an accident, but the captain’s misadventure could secure his family a one-way ticket to this ineffable hell.

We at The North Korea Blog are hoping for a happy outcome on this strange and hilarious story.