6 Amazing Rich Kid Versions of the Toys You Grew Up With

We all had that one rich kid in class growing up -- he was the first to get the new video game systems when they arrived, and he didn't have to make a "fortress" for his action figures out of a cardboard box and old egg cartons -- he had the real thing.

It's hard not to wish you could, just once, relive childhood as that rich kid who had everything. If by some sorcery that should ever occur, we already have our shopping list made out:

#6. A BB Gun That Could Kill a Predator ($3,500)

Via Airsoftatlanta.comThis might be the only airsoft gun you could actually stop a home invasion with.

The Echo1 is powered by an actual motorcycle battery and the kinetic energy produced by the boner of the guy shooting it. It can fire anywhere between 3,000 and 6,000 rounds per minute, which gun aficionados refer to as "a shitload of dead squirrels." For added realism, it comes packaged in an actual weapons crate and can be hooked up to a backpack "similar to the one seen in Predator with Jesse 'The Body' Ventura." That is an actual quote from the website that sells them, which also states that it was made by "totally wicked awesome ninjas in Japan."

#5. Life-Size Action Figures ($1,000 to $12,000)

There are lots of insanely expensive action figures out there, but they're mostly just rare collector's items that you wouldn't actually want to play with -- stuff like an original edition of the butt-chin guy who appears in the Star Wars cantina for two seconds. If we were to spend thousands of dollars on an action figure, we'd like something you can actually get into a physical fight with -- like the $3,000 "Mini" Giant Gundam released by Bandai ("Gundam" translates to "Awesome Fucking Robot"), which is 5 feet tall and boasts 14 movable body parts, including its finger joints.

More importantly, it also comes packed with several interchangeable guns, one of which is a freaking light saber.

Other bonus features include rocket-launching sound effects and the frightening ability to blink on remote control (known by future historians as the moment we doomed our race). Of course, this thing is completely worthless if you can't use it to stage massive backyard fights against something, and we're guessing your old TMNT villains aren't gonna cut it anymore. So how about some ride-on dinosaurs for about $1,000 a piece?

Via Hansatoy.comWhoever that kid is, he just won the "having a childhood" game.

Oh, and for a few extra dollars, you can make these fuckers move. Shit, at this point your Gundam's gonna need some help to take care of these things -- a perfect excuse to shell out $6,000 more on your own life-size Terminator.

#4. Luxury Cars for Kids ($29,000 to $97,000)

This isn't just some useless room decoration that rich people buy their kids simply to prove how rich they are -- it has a working engine. It's an actual miniature car, and it's probably better than yours.

"Don't stop at the light -- they'll try to clean your windshield and expect some money."

He's like 8, and this already makes him a more accomplished adult than us. We're guessing that the lady beside him is his trophy wife. On the other hand, if you're concerned less with luxury and more with performance (and blatant parental negligence), for only $29,000 you can get this:

The LeMans Junior Race Car has a top speed of 30 mph. That could get your kid arrested for speeding in some residential areas. The specifications page lists a number of impressive features, none of which are seat belts.

But maybe your only aim is getting your kid the hell out of your house. In that case, we recommend the Junior Off Roader, which, in addition to being prepared for dirt roads, comes with an optional camper trailer attachment for a combined total of only $66,000. The trailer itself could comfortably house a family of dwarfs.

And it's not just these three models -- Mobileation.com's Luxury Car Lot section has a whole bunch of fully functional cars for kids available for anyone with too much money and not enough common sense. What this really means is that when the moment comes for these kids to do the inevitable "I'm leaving home" routine, by the time they get scared and decide to turn back, they'll probably be in another state.

Photos.com"Fuck, I knew I heard a helicopter! Quick, ditch the coke!"

Man, what happened to the simpler days, when all a kid needed was a bunch of G.I. Joes? Yeah, about that ...