UPDATED, MAY 8, 2012. Though the charges in the Saint Dane's case against McBeth were also dismissed, he pleaded guilty to a lesser charge of simple assault in relation to the Christmas Day beating of a woman. He received one day in jail and a $100 fine.

Police are seeking four men after a wee-hours brawl at Saint Dane's Icehouse last month, and when coupled with some Facebook research, the whole affair reads like nothing so much as some twisted hybrid of Entourage and A Clockwork Orange.

According to a criminal complaint filed over the weekend, Paul Zaldivar and fiancée Amanda Perez walked into the dog-friendly Elgin Street tavern on December 4. Zaldivar left Perez behind in order to find a table on the patio, and when he returned, found her arguing with Austin Perry Bauer and Brady McBeth, both of whom were, according to the complaint, "highly intoxicated."

The complaint further states that Perez had called the duo out because she saw McBeth, a.k.a. "B-Mac," stealing liquor from behind the bar and was attempting to call police, but was stopped by his buddy Juan Castillo, who allegedly forcibly restrained her hard enough to leave bruises.

The complaint goes on to state that Zaldivar approached Perez and McBeth to find out why they were arguing, whereupon Bauer slipped behind him and grabbed Zaldivar in a choke-hold. McBeth then allegedly starting punching Zaldivar in the face and torso, causing him to collapse to the ground. Then, Castillo and Gaersen Bailey, another of their bros, allegedly entered the fray by kicking Zaldivar in the head and face while he was on the ground.

And it gets worse.

Facebook

Brady McBeth: Wanted for assault in this case, and for beating a woman on Christmas day.

According to the complaint, Bauer balled a set of keys into his fist and punched Zaldivar, lacerating his face. Tomball native Bauer, 31, faces a felony charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon -- in his case, a key.

Hulking Gaersen Bailey, a 28-year-old Beaumont native, lists himself on Facebook as a partner at Club Reputation. Here's what "Gangsta" has to say in the "basic information" on his Facebook page:

"I truley believe that at times a little viloence is the only way to prompt a radical change in you surroundings. I will always try to keep the peace but sometimes blood shed is required for peace to florish. When respect has lost its way and is hidden in the darkness there is one but sure way to bring it back to light....BAM!"

So yeah, if some do-gooder chick wants to call out one of your boys for snaking a bottle of liquor, you and your bros hold her back and make her watch while you punch, kick, stomp and slash her fiancé. BAM! That's how you make peace flourish, bitch.

Both Bailey and Castillo face charges of assault-bodily injury, the same charge McBeth is facing.

In 2006, McBeth, a 29-year-old from Spring, was sent to prison for three years for violating the terms of his probation after a 2002 meth conviction. He was convicted of assault in 2010 and faces yet another assault charge right now for allegedly punching and choking a woman on Christmas day last year.

Per Facebook, he publicly set himself the challenge of guzzling an entire bottle of Jägermeister at Midtown's Club Reputation during his birthday celebration last October.

Something tells us this was not what Houston's bigwig real estate developers had in mind when they turned Midtown into a patchwork of lofts and cheezy oontz-oontz douchatoria.