Radioactive Cat Acquires Lame Super Power

A cat named Bailey was excited to learn he had been exposed to radioactive sewage on a recent vacation in Japan.

“Most cats would be a little freaked out to know they were radioactive,” says John Herling, a friend of the feline. “Not Bailey. He started making plans for the superhero lifestyle — a cool name, spandex costume, crime fighting gadgets — the works.”

Though his doctors stressed the seriousness of his condition, and that acquiring paranormal abilities is not the norm, Bailey was unfazed. It turns out his health is fine, and he did gain a super power. But not one from his wish list.

“He can become rainbow colored,” says Herling. “He can turn it off and on at will. It’s great for parties, but it doesn’t really help with crime fighting. He’s really bummed about it. He’s been moping around since last Tuesday when he found out. If you see a sad, furry rainbow in the corner, that’s probably him, sulking.”