IF you don't know what you're looking for, just click anything. It's all equally interesting.

Des Moines, IA - Pastor Bryan Douglas has been reprimanded by the Southern Baptist Executive Committee and is banned from attending the Annual Convention for two years as a result of amphetamine usage during sermons.

"Pastor Douglas has admitted to using Speed and other drugs in order to gain unlawful advantages in his sermon," the committee found. "His illegal activity allowed him to give the equivalent of a 45-minute sermon in under 30 minutes and thereby afforded his congregation an unfair advantage in reaching local buffet restaurants ahead of the Sunday noon rush."

While he admits to using the drugs, Pastor Douglas defends their place in his Sunday routine saying, "Sure, they're illegal and life-threatening, but my people deserve to hear my whole sermon without having to end up in the back of the line at Ryan's Buffet. I apologize for nothing!"

In addition to his reprimand and Annual Convention ban, the Executive Committee declared that Pastor Douglas will be subject to periodic drug testing, his Guidestone account has been suspended, his LifeWay rewards card has been revoked, and his personal information has been forwarded to JD Hall and Pulpit and Pen so that "the Devil might put Pastor Douglas through the sifter and thus reveal his true character. Let us pray for him."