Saturday, January 4, 2014

Mister Basketmouth, Rape is NOT a Joke!

Dear Mr. Basketmouth. I write in peace,
because war does not solve anything. Moreover I am desperate to communicate in
a way that will get you to understand the gravity of what you did by sharing a
horrible joke, whose punchline is rape. Of African girls. Not a white girl
which is stated very clearly at the beginning of your joke. By the way please
do not accuse me of turning this into a racial matter. No, Actually you did
that. Here is your joke sir:

White girls:

1st date: Coffee

2nd date: Kiss

3rd date: sex

African girls:

1st date: Fast food

2nd date: Hug

3rd date: Chinese
restaurant

4th date: kiss

5th date: Attempted
sex but failed

6th date: Shopping

7th date: Cinema, new
phone, more shopping

8th date: Attempted
sex but failed

9th date: RAPE!!

Oh and I took a screen shot of it in case you
cannot believe that you would ever do such a thing. Here it is.

Mr. Basketmouth I am hoping that by the time I am done
talking with you and the 5000+ people who liked and commented on your “joke”, you
will have learned something about rape and why rape is a sick, vile and criminal
act and why making light of this scourge that has everyone of us who has a vagina
living with fear, is cruel and hateful.

We are not safe Mr. Basketmouth because men take our
bodies and they rip us apart without a thought to the life- long trauma that we
suffer as a result of such a violation. Mr. Basket mouth have you ever had
anyone violate you by doing as they pleased with your body? Have you ever had
someone grab you, throw you on the ground slapping you and telling you to shut
up, then proceed to tear your legs apart and force his penis into your anus?
Have you? I think not because let me tell you Mr. Basketmouth, because if it were so, you could never make rape an issue for comedy. I know comedians like to poke fun at all things and the irreverence is often what draws laughs. However Rape is not funny and if it elicits laughter, which it did in some of your fans,then this is a sign of depravity and a warning to all women that we are not safe among men, even the ones who purport to love us.

Would your joke be funny if your mother your sister, your
aunt, your daughter had been raped? If you daughter or your sister had come home with
blood running down her legs because some brute had seen her, not as a human
being with feelings and a physical body that hurts and bleeds, but as a vessel
for his lust, his rage, his disrespect and his misogyny?

Would your joke be
funny to you if you came home to find your 6 month old daughter barely alive
because 5 men had broken into your home and decided that a baby’s tiny vagina
was big enough to contain their five penises one after the other, muffling her
cries with her burp cloth until she passed out?

Would your joke be funny if your favorite uncle gave
himself permission to pin down your 12 year old daughter as she gave him water
to drink? How would you laugh when you came home and found her doubled over in
pain with a haunted look in her eyes?

Perhaps you would guffaw at the news that your daughter committed
suicide because she had been raped and could not deal with it. She had no one
to tell because her father, comedian Basket mouth thought rape was a big JOKE?
That he would laugh at her, and tell her she deserved it for having worn such a
short skirt or having gone to dinner and allowed him to spend money on her? Mr.
Basketmouth your 5,000 fans who loved your joke were making comments like:
after all that she deserves to be raped. The few people who tried to be the
voices of reason were insulted and heckled off your page, leaving an
aggregation of the sickness that our men are. Yes those men who like your
status are the sickness we have to contend with as African women. Those 5,000
odd fans of yours are part of the problem because their endorsement of your
hideous attempt at humor is a signal that there is a fundamental hatred for
African women by African men and that raping African women is fair game.

The fact that you think that you posted a funny joke
means that you are also part of a huge problem that we face in this world, a problem that affects more than half the population. It
also means that these statistics mean nothing to you and therefore African
women and women in general mean very little to you.

Mr. Basket mouth one in 3 women will be raped or beaten
in her lifetime. That is One billion people whose bodies will be violated. These
are United Nations statistic. However judging on the response to your joke, and
based on my own experience in the work of trying to end violence against women and
girls, the number is more like one in two women. This means sir that your post
today was in all likelihood seen by many women who have been raped. Let this
sink in for a minute: Women who have been raped and saw your joke have probably
been hurt all over again, because your joke makes a mockery of untold suffering
that only she who has been raped will ever understand. Do you get why this joke
is such a disgusting show of insensitivity and a blatant display of disrespect
for women’s and therefore human dignity? The additional insult to injury are
your 5,000 plus groupies who bigged you up for disrespecting African women. It is frightening to realize that these would be the type of men who would be bystanders watching a girl being raped, and still perceive themselves as being "good'. Good men who tell rape jokes, laugh at rape jokes and say nothing when women are disrespected are also perpetrators!

In my line of work we spend so much time teaching girls
how to protect themselves from being raped. From an early age girls are taught
to view themselves from the negatives, that are heaped on them
because men rape. It is girls' fault that men are depraved. We teach them not to walk alone after dark, not to be alone
with boys, to wear “decent clothes”. Yet after all this, many are still raped. Why
is that Mr. Basketmouth? BECAUSE BOYS AND MEN ARE NOT BEING TAUGHT THAT RAPE IS
NOT A JOKE! We place the burden of being safe on girls but GIRLS DO NOT RAPE
THEMSELVES AND YOUR JOKE LEGITIMIZES AND REINFORCES THE NOTION THAT RAPING A
GIRL IS OK!!! Rape is NOT TRIVIAL!

Mr. Basketmouth I am tired of this work. I am tired
because people like you make my work really difficult. While I and thousands of
other activists are working tirelessly to educate men that under no circumstances
is raping a woman ok, you are undoing our work 5,000 men at a time!!!! Haba!!!
I am tired of waking up every single day to stories of women gang raped and
mutilated in South Africa and India and in the U.S. military and in the Congo
and you making a joke about this is really very demoralizing and it makes me
very angry.

I hope that this letter will make you reflect for a
moment and I hope that you also realize that your position of privilege and
influence can be used for real positive social change in Nigeria and beyond.
What would be great is if you are man enough to apologize to the women you have
insulted and hurt by your crass joke. I also hope that you will consider
undoing the damage you have caused those who so believed you were a decent guy.
I was a fan of yours until about 2 hours ago when I saw your post. Now I only
feel a heavy sadness, disappointment and a deeper desire to fight for Justice.
Right now Justice to me looks like you Basketmouth issuing a sincere apology and
becoming an anti-rape activist.

If everything in life were just about intentions, consequences wouldn't matter. This article has shown that though Basketmouth's intentions were to entertain, the consequences are grave. He has been shown that brilliantly though Barbara's article and he should apologise.

@Barbara: Thanks so much for this and God bless you. Its a shame that african men will not come to the defence of their women at times as this. I am an MC / Comedian too and I have come to realize most acts arent creative enough anymore. I apologise to all black women everywhere.THAT MAN WHO CALLED U A BUSYBODY HAS IT COMING FOR HIM.We seem to be losing our morals.

I just read his apology and his justification by claiming that joke should be unlimited. That is to how unsincere his apology is. Anyway, this will send a message to other comedians because what are more often than not used for jokes are what some persons are feeling very bad and ashamed of. OUR JOKES SHOULD HAVE THEIR LIMIT!

Akabuogo ... there's an irony in your comment my brother & it is probably the reason you view a statement disrespectful to women black & white as a "harmless" joke... do you honestly believe that the devaluing and sexual assault of women are "harmless"?

Seriously?! Akabuogu Solomon! I cannot believe the comment you just passed. I read this article and I was covered with goose bumps all over. And when I saw your comment, I wanted to throw up. It made me sick to my stomach. Some people just like to use some terms simply because it catches their fancies, not knowing what it meant.. you told the author to get a life! She has more life in her pinkie than you could ever get in your whole miserable lifetime. She is emphasizing the enormity of rape and you still called it a harmless joke. You know what? You are sick!

The problem is that you are communicating across different intellectual planes without realising that you are effectually speaking different languages. --- The audience and environment in which the joke was dealt, is not very enlightened as to the realities of the trauma that comes with rape. While it exists here, it is not seen in its true sense or discussed for what it is, in a manner that the writer has done, and as such finds its place in the material of comedians that honestly meant no harm. Mr. Basketmouth is a good man, a family man, but exists in an ecosystem that is not aware of the devastation that comes with such a dastardly act, and is so far removed from such a world that his and the sensitivity of the 5000 likers is not as the writers is to it, thus only see the joke at surface level and not with the depth it deserves. --- When good people differ in opinions, it is usually miscommunication. Barbara and Basketmouth, through this fortunate misunderstanding, will go a long way towards educating people in this environment (Nigeria) on rape, and this is a great positive outcome, albeit the initial backlash might seem less so.

Barbara, I don't think that BasketMouth was encouraging rape at all. It's a bit unfair to accuse him like this. It can even be argued that BasketMouth was counselling "african girls" to avoid dates where sex has been attempted more than once to avoid being raped.

If you look at the joke again:There were several attempts at sex but apparently the "african girl" refused to leave the relationship but instead kept on collecting more and more gifts from her date even after the dude had established his intention of sex which finally resulted to rape.

"...African girl refused to leave the relationship...", "It can be argued that Basket Mouth was counselling "African girls" to avoid dates where sex has been attempted more than once to avoid being raped."

People with such thinking as yours are part of the problem, making excuses for people left, right and centre. Why can't the man walk away from the relationship if he feels exploited, instead of resorting to rape?

What you're refusing to admit is these people with these jokes and the people liking them and excusing them are portraying that it is okay and perhaps even expected for a girl or woman to be raped when she has 'done something to warrant it.' Such as continue to 'go on a date where sex has been attempted more than once...'

I very much want to see a man capable of joking about this after he has been raped. After a gang of men have tried to force their penises into his anus, and he's bleeding and incontinent. Then let's see how well that joke goes down. I imagine there are people reading this that don't even know men are also being raped in this way. They see this as a problem that doesn't concern them much, and they can wrinkle their noses at it from a distance. I say all this because it appears that some people are unable to empathise except from personal experience alone.

Whereas Basket Mouth may not be encouraging rape, he's showing that there's a way of thinking among people that is seriously wrong, a way of thinking that suggests that 'you get raped because you put yourself in that position', essentially 'you asked for it.' He's also quite clearly showing how little people understand the gravity of rape, so much that they poke jokes at it. What next, AIDS?

@Akogun, the woman, Justine Sacco that said and I paraphrase "I'm heading to Africa, hope I don't get AIDS" meant it as a joke. How did you feel when you read it? Did it sound funny to you? Please don't justify anything here. Like the author of this article right said, we don't care about victims of rape because our mothers, sisters, wives or even daughters have not been a victim. That is really bad. Basket was wrong and he should replace that joke and give a public apology to all women. I'll personally take this up and believe you me, this thing will get really ugly pretty soon, if he doesn't apologize. Role models should behave like role models and not monsters just because they are armed with a phone and an internet.

My point Exactly! Why are many people so shallow that until they have had some sort of personal experience or brush with something grievous, they could care less about other people's experiences of it? But when bad things happen to them, they suddenly expect the whole world to come revolving around them. If basketmouth's daughter or sister was raped, there is no way that would be just a joke to him (except he's just pure evil), because something as 'harmless' as a joke can trigger and revive the pains of a bad experience, especially when it's portrayed in such a careless and insignificant light.Now, apart from his insensitivity to rape victims, he also encouraged rape by insinuating that if a woman was denying you sex especially when you think you have worked to deserve sex from her, then you'd be justified to rape her. And I don't want to imagine how many rapists--that have raped girls for that exact reason--rejoiced at being justified for their unfathomably disgusting acts.

hmmmmm.this is so revealing.my sister ur write up is good.how i wish the men will realise the intensity of d stupid jokes they make in order to make money.keep it up my girl.may God reward you.I will like to be part of ur team how do i get in touch.my email address is kemmy2u@yahoo.com

BARBARA has stated her problem about BASKET MOUTHS rape joke and I strongly think she is making a VERY STRONG point and a VALID one at that. My advise to BASKET mouth is to look at the points this woman has raised and do the right thing by appologising to WOMEN to this regard, before this issue TARNISH his IMAGE GLOBALLY. A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE.

How is it that there is still some attempt to defend this tasteless so-called joke? Akabuogu Solomon, Bobola.This lady took the time to try to educate. Politely, but honestly. There is NO PART of rape that is fun or funny or harmless or a joke. Or entertaining.

So the punishment for not granting sexual favour is rape? And you say he was counselling young girls? What about the African man he painted as a sexually frustrated savage? I hope his recent apology to women was heartfelt and he understood that the love we have for him and his art compels us to call him to order. He has to also apologise for tarnishing the image of the African man. I am not a barbarian, are you?

Baba Ikazoboh I echo what you have said here. It is unfortunate and Basket mouth should know better. I do not see why he will not apologize. It is not unique to issues of rape, people have "carelessly" made light of issues like this without first thinking about the people who have to experience them firsthand. RAPE, RACISM, ANTISEMITISM, TERRORISM just to name a few. While these are not quite on the same pedestal it will be unfortunate for someone to make light of it by speaking in the wrong direction about them. BAsketmouth should simply apologize... and maybe do a piece advocating against "careless mouthing"...

Mr BasketMouth May not directly have encouraged the rape of females who men find "uncooperative", but he trivializes rape, and in the process displays just how unenlightened he actually is. Does he really believe that Caucasian females don't get raped in the same circumstances? By men like him & his 5000+ fans that liked that disgusting joke.Shouldn't we who read that showmanship of poor taste that he called a joke, now be inclined to see Mr BasketMouth as a man who may also have raped someone he thought was wasting his time & money?Let him remember that a man who thinks like him & his 5000+ fans will eagerly & quite happily rape his daughter for the same reason. After all, her daddy approves such barbaric animalistic behaviour.

NO MATTER WHAT A WOMAN DOES, SAYS OR DOESN'T SAY OR DO, NO MAN is ever ENTITLED to rape her. End of story. Same applies to anyone because of course rape is perpetrated on young girls, young boys, young men. There is NO SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES that EVER makes it okay for ANYONE to violate another human being that way. There is NOTHING that can be brought in defense of that savage behaviour. Nothing. Too many comedians use emotive topics to get a reaction & appear to be 'controversial' because that seems synonymous with being entertaining. Who gives them the audience though and validates this behaviour? Us. It's a consumer driven, consumer owned world - if we stop 'buying' (whether the currency is cash, 'likes', comments, follows, page shares etc) then they have no choice but to change what they're 'selling'. With the power of social media, I'm sure the sensible ones among us can use our individual influence, buying power, status updates, twitter accounts etc to encourage the right behaviour. Amazing what a drastic decline in popularity & cashflow can do to inspire alternative, enlightened thinking.... Well done Barbara by starting it off both online and with cancellation of your ticket purchase! (I'd never even heard of the guy to be honest, but I won't be bothering to give him any undeserved YouTube views or pages views - pretty clear he's not the sort of person I need to spend any seconds of my life on that I will never ever get back)

as a writer and a good researcher i hate rape and would not support any who do this. I haven't checked the video but from your comment I am able to deduce this.

1. you support ladies to cunningly retrieve money from men who sweated to get such money. most of this men have already budgeted this for something else, or had been humiliated for it. But they were happy to give this to the woman they have feelings for.

2). You hate rape but yet you support the ladies to lead men on? Is that not failure on your side? This was clearly seen all over your statements.

Please dear activist I support your motion but you need to polish your stand very well.

Before you comment I would like you to know that seeing this from various angles I also support that the men are at fault, after trying and she refused the best is to withdraw from her, find another woman who would fulfill theirdesire. but then this is a two party thing.

Also the comedian apologised, so I do not get what other apology you need.

Wow, I was spellbound till the very last word. It shows that the writer has an indepth knowledge of the life long sequelae of rape on its victims.Rape should not be the subject of joke. If a man wants sex, he can pay for it, there are professionals that offer this service. The fact that you spent money on a woman does not give you an entitlement to her body. She is priceless, far more valuable than all the gift you have lavished on her. The fact that she has refused you sex means she is not ready to share herself with you, at least not yet. Not until she is comfortable with you. So why can't you keep your phallus in check and wait for her to be ready? Do you think with your phallus? Does your life revolve around sex? Are you sexually incontinent and lack self control? Honestly, that joke was thoughtless. Let's all say no to rape and domestic violence!Thanks for this article Barbara

From what I read about the joke I don't think he was trivializing rape which of course should never be trivialized except you are not related to, or friends with ANY woman. He was to my mind referring to the habits of those group of girls' penchant for getting money,gifts etc from men even though they don't have any intentions of being with the men or whatsoever. Rape should not be a trivialized issue especially in Nigeria nay Africa where thousands of cases is swept under the carpet. I have known Basketmouth since my days in UNIBEN where he also was and he doesn't come across as someone so unfeeling and insensitive to such a malaise in our society.

We all called it a joke but why some animalistic people try to bring others people down to their low life level as a result of joke. Accepted that he made the stupid joke and expensive one in that regard. But, people should not turn that to an opportunity to bring @basket_mouth down. It's a very stupid joke but he has apologized for his stupidity what else do we want from him again?

The gravity of his joke is alarming that for sure. But i want you all to know that we've all sin and come short of the glory of God, let's all ask God for direction and caution in every step we make. He alone can help us in choosing the right word at the right time. He has officially apologized and i plead to everyone that his joke has caused more pain (like me) should forgive him. I was a victim of rape when i was in primary school, 'big sister' (AS SHE IS FONDLY CALLED IN MY AREA) raped me and that change my life to the wrong side of life until i met God that gave me peace and heart to forgive. She will come to my parent that she want me to keep her company at home at the age of 7, I wasn't handsome, wasn't from a rich family but she always play with my manhood and force me to have sex with her at my tender age, i will never forget when i first came, i cried, because it was so painful as a little boy that was forced to assemble all his vein to release his first sperm, even when she was married, she still force me to have sex with her. These continue till when i left the university. You don't want to know what happened between that period. I went through HELL, i got involve in drugs, masturbation and a lot of things But thank God, I'm new now, I've forgiven her and i have moved forward. He (BASKETMOUTH) was just joking BUT BASKETMOUTH, I pray that God will not let your offsprings experience rape because the thought lives with the victim FOREVER. God bless you, God bless Nigeria, God bless Africa!

Thanks B. for speaking up on this issue... i also was to post on my page the gravity of the armless joke as most of Basketmouth mindless RAPIST followers think it to be... if at the 9th outing a RAPE should be forced or is forced by those men that think they deserves payback from a lady by raping them... then sorrow... it is a joke that came out aimlessly but the fact remain that as he has said severally in his interview that he is inspired by things he sees around.... no doubt he must have heard or even seen a case scenario and instead of him to stand as a campaigner against RAPE he chooses it has a JOKE ITEM and some people say it is harmless and hand twisting... it is goring to hear the story of a RAPE victim talk less of picturing it happen to one innocent girl....needless should we shed what is wrong RICK ROSS lyrics on RAPE was not so define yet he got the punishment he deserves.....aside apologies by MR BASKETMOUTH, he should also lose some of these privileges that has now turned his mouth real lose...know this " SOMETHINGs CAN'T BE HEALED BY BANDAGES" STOP ABUSE AGAINST WOMAN AND CHILDREN.....follow our facebook page Vysta Image Concept'E and together we will contiune to stand against Discrimination and Abuse

I hope y'all will also lash out at musicians who sing about #rape playfully with rhymes and cool beats like they did at @basket-mouth.pls ita okay,barbra we get ur point bt u guys are taking this too far.silly joke quite ok bt nt what he really meant.he has apologised let's 4give nd 4get we are all humans.what of dose jokes of a prostitute,starmmers,illitrate dat we all laughed @?do they not affect human lives also?if we can make jokes with all that den y is dis one causing havoc?or re some jokes nw expensive and oders are not expensive?let's thinks about it.we are all hear finding faults we do mistakes in one way or d oder,let's find way in making our lives much better or focus/lashes on political thiefs it would help much better.God bless.

I hope y'all will also lash out at musicians who sing about #rape playfully with rhymes and cool beats like they did at @basket-mouth.pls ita okay,barbra we get ur point bt u guys are taking this too far.silly joke quite ok bt nt what he really meant.he has apologised let's 4give nd 4get we are all humans.what of dose jokes of a prostitute,starmmers,illitrate dat we all laughed @?do they not affect human lives also?if we can make jokes with all that den y is dis one causing havoc?or re some jokes nw expensive and oders are not expensive?let's thinks about it.we are all hear finding faults we do mistakes in one way or d oder,let's find way in making our lives much better or focus/lashes on political thiefs it would help much better.God bless.

It wasn't my joke but sincere apologies to everyone who was hurt by it.We have a serious problem.Like many other jokes which keep everyone laughing, i think he once again described some real life scenario,Once again his audience displayed the common response or attitude to the problem.We have a serious problem.Entertainment is filled these days with kinds of offensive depictions,It's not even safe to allow your 12yr old listen to the radio at their10am unsupervised,Talk less of keeping an eye on them when they watch cartoons.Maybe it's not just about the entertainers, maybe it's really about us all,When all of these activities and attitudes lead to another rape,As long as it's not our wives, sisters or daughters then it's not a problem.We all need to be alive to our responsibility, not just Basketmouth

Good day, as much as I loved your write up and how sobering it is I do not agree with your generalisation that there is a fundamental hatred for African women by African men as seen in your letter below.

Those 5,000 odd fans of yours are part of the problem because their endorsement of your hideous attempt at humor is a signal that there is a fundamental hatred for African women by African men and that raping African women is fair game.

I am married to an African woman that I can die for, my mother, sisters and female friends are largely African women that are treated with utmost respect and valued as queens and princesses that they are. Because an irresponsible comedian and 5000 fans have shown themselves to be beasts does not mean there are no millions out there that are standing for the truth and respect and adore women no matter the color of her skin.

Good write up and great work you are doing but I refuse to be grouped with the beasts and animals who are ignorant of their being and cowardly enough to rape a woman. What joy or pleasure is in that? I wish you the best.

Adebayo then as the upstanding man and lover of African women! Don't be a bystander when we are disrespected! Distinguish yourself and let your mark of distinction be that you will challenge any verbal or physical disrespect , that you will educate your friends who are disrespectful of women that it damages our communities when women are violated Ndlovu degraded. I salute you!

It wasn't my joke but sincere apologies to everyone who was hurt by it.We have a serious problem.Like many other jokes which keep everyone laughing, i think he once again described some real life scenario,

let's all ask God for direction and caution in every step we make. He alone can help us in choosing the right word at the right time. He has officially apologized and i plead to everyone that his joke has caused more pain (like me) should forgive him. I was a victim of rape when i was in primary school, 'big sister' (AS SHE IS FONDLY CALLED IN MY AREA) raped me and that change my life to the wrong side of life until i met God that gave me peace and heart to forgive.funny gifts