Recover from Infidelity with Couples Counseling

Learn how to recover from broken trust, affairs and infidelity with couples counseling.

Trust is the foundation of a successful relationship.

Discovering or succumbing to infidelity can feel devastating to both the individuals and the relationship. Initially, many couples believe there is no recovery from it. Feelings of shock, anger, despair, disbelief, vulnerability, defensiveness, guilt and shame threaten the stability of daily life, and it can be very challenging to get any kind of perspective on the situation.

Couples counseling can help!

While at the moment of discovery it’s hard to imagine, many couples not only recover from an affair but actually improve their relationship as a result. They do this by gaining a deeper understanding of each other, creating agreements and finding ways to nourish their connection. Even if a couple ultimately decides to end the relationship, couples counseling helps them do so in a way that honors the relationship and each other and paves the way for a healthier relationships in the future.

Counseling during a crisis of infidelity usually includes three main stages:

Learning skills to navigate the initial crisis. Your counselor will help the betrayed partner learn how to handle intruding thoughts and feelings, making sense of the new information and feelings. For the partner who has had the affair, counseling can assist in learning how to stay open and non-defensive in the current situation so that both people can focus on what is important.

Understanding the context of the affair. Once the initial chaos has subsided, the couple is more capable of exploring the deeper meaning of the affair – why it happened, how, and what they can learn from it. This makes it easier to know what is possible for the relationship, and assists the couple in making the often difficult choice to stay together or to part ways. Even if a couple decides to separate, understanding the context of the affair can assist them in learning from the experience and in dissolving the relationship amicably.

Rebuilding trust and repair. Once a couple decides they want to rebuild their relationship, the counselor will assist the partner in expressing remorse or regret in a way that the other partner can receive it. We also examine larger relationship patterns that have contributed to the affair so that the couple can better understand each other’s needs and desires. Finally, we explore ways for the couple to create and sustain a more secure and connected relationship.

Your relationship is worth fighting for!

If you want to learn why your relationship has trust issues, getting to the root problem is must. In Love Made Simple, there is no shame, and we create a safe space for you to explore what happened, learn how to overcome it, and prepare for an authentic, passionate future together.

You will learn the tools you need to be able to attune to your partners energy – and be able to meet their needs.

Our approach is unique in that it brings the latest tools and methods in an experiential, enlivening, and engaging way. We incorporate the latest findings from attachment theory and research—also known as the science of love. In one weekend, you will learn:

How to stop fighting over the small stuff—and start aligning around your bigger vision.

What your partner really needs to feel loved—and how to give it to them.

We understand infidelity and trust can be difficult topics to navigate. If you prefer a more private option, one-on-one couples therapy is a great way to learn about your relationships, both its successes and failures, within the comfort of a private office.

If trust has recently been broken, maybe you are still fighting or grieving; in couples therapy sessions, you will be able to create a safe time and a place to discuss topics you might not be able to discuss at home. It creates a nuetral ground to talk about what really happened and how you can prevent it going forward.

Our couples therapists and associate therapists both have expeirence helping couples repair and rebuild their relationship from broken trust, infidelity or other damaging events. We offer sliding scale therapy for those in need with our associate therapists.

Real Change is Possible!

Most couples wait too long before they ask for the help that they desperately need. If you’re reading this page, chances are that it’s time for you to take action. Our couples therapists in San Francisco, Berkeley, and Palo Alto specialize in helping couples like you navigate challenges and create a fulfilling, passionate relationship.