Commentary from a quarter-century old brain

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After being alive for a quarter of a century, I’ve picked up a few useful pieces of information. The most valuable tidbits being the ones that I have learned the hard way. An activity on my list of 365 things to do in 365 days was to put together a list of 25 life lessons I’ve learned over the past 25 years. Honestly, this was a lot harder than I thought. Most of it is silly, some of isn’t rocket science, but it’s all gems of wisdom I now can share because of personal experience.

Cat’s like Spaghettios.

The knowledge gained at your first job will be much more valuable than anything learned during four years at college.

Interning makes a huge difference when applying to jobs. Skip the wine-tasting elective offered and apply for an internship or two.

When you only have $10 for food for an entire week before payday, McDonald’s Dollar Menu is a gift from God.

Don’t listen to a nun who wears sneakers and marks your quiz wrong because you put Bill Clinton as an answer to the question ‘name a charismatic leader’ ,even if she lowers your grade.

When the car radio-presets are all screwed up, it does not mean a friend played an elaborate prank. Your car battery is about to die, so call a mechanic.

Eating seafood that has been marked down to clearance at the local Thriftway is never a good idea.

Passion beats talent 95% of the time. A boss would rather have an employee with a great attitude that is teachable, rather than a skilled drone.

There’s no long term hurt that can come from going after a dream. The sting of rejection can be soften by the knowledge that at least you tried. And the payoff can be epic.

Facebook stalking can lift up your spirits and make you feel inadequate in a matter of minutes.

Being cheap about something will only cost more money in the long run. Like that shitty $40 Ikea bed frame that is now propped against my wall used as a clothesline.

It’s really terrifying to see your parents turning into a younger version of your grandparents.

Friendship takes a lot of work after college.

Siri is not a friend to those of us who talk fast and have a strong ‘Northeast Philadelphia’ accent.

Finding the good bathroom at work is one of the most important things to do during the first week at a new job.

Fear of missing out and peer pressure isn’t always that bad. It all depends on the peers doing the pressuring. I tried clean eating, and exercising because of the fear of missing out on the experience my coworkers were partaking in last year.

Cinnamon toothpaste is the most useless product created by the dental hygiene world.

Antidepressants only work half way, the user has to be willing to do the other half of the work to feel better.

Being in the good graces of your office’s administrative assistant, security team, janitor and cafeteria cook is more telling of your reputation than being in the good graces of the CEO.

Unit air conditioners get taken out of windows in the winter for a reason. Learning this hard way can result in getting a cold or freezing to death in your sleep.

Your parents and/or your family’s way of life does not need to be how you live your life. Even if they tell you otherwise.

Motherly love can be appreciated at any age. And that doesn’t mean it has to come from your biological mother either.

Never be a jerk to someone who is apologizing. Even if you don’t accept it, give them the opportunity attempt.

A person can actually overdose on vitamins. Especially Niacin, which I decided to take multiple times day to increase my happiness. My face was the color of an apple and I’m lucky my head didn’t explode.

Google is the reason why those reference books on my bookshelf at work are covered in dust. And has also encouraged my demand and expectations of instant gratification.

Facebook now has a new app that will create a short video clip about the highlights of 2014. To be frank, 2014 can kick rocks. Most of the year was spent dealing with stress, unhappiness and grief. But somewhere in the middle of the emotional roller coaster of the year, I managed to do a whole bunch of cool things. 2014 can only be summed in one cliche, corny phrase- Life Goes On.

Here’s a 101 memorable things that I did this year. Thank you for reading my ramblings, commenting on my essays, and/or being in my life this year. I’m still wrapping my mind over some of the shit that went down over the past 365 days, so I won’t even try to guess what 2015 will hold.

101 Things That Happened in the Last 365 Days

Participated in a vegan chicken wing eating contest- This was a disaster, no one warned me that seitan expands once it’s wet. But it benefited Philly Roller Girls, so it was for a good cause!

Participated in a cupcake eating contest. – It was my first large amount of sugar after clean eating for 40 days, let’s just say that night I wanted to die

Went on an upside roller coaster- I actually tried frantically to get off the Batman Coaster but the attendant didn’t hear me so I was stuck going through with it

Went to Six Flags- We meant to go to Belmont Beach, but the signs for the safari seemed more exciting

Had an article go viral-I was annoyed about how much online dating sucked, and wrote an article about it one night after work. Apparently people like that kind of thing.

The holiday season and I have not been getting alone in recent years. In fact we’ve been on the outs since junior high. A week before Christmas, my mother had a major heart attack and underwent an emergency quadruple bypass when I was 12. Three years later she suffered another heart attack, followed by a stroke right before Thanksgiving.

In the years that followed, the holiday magic dwindled dramatically as my parents did the bare minimum of celebration. The real Douglas fur that was so large it needed to be cut so that it would fit in the doorway was replaced with a 4 foot artificial tree that sat on our coffee table. With other tensions running deep throughout my family tree, there were no longer gatherings with extended family that once filled up December. The stark contrast of ‘new’ holiday season, usually celebrated amongst my parents and I, made the void of seasons past more noticeable. Continue reading →

My best friend, Geri, is moving across the country in less than a week. Specifically, she will be 2,692 miles away in her new apartment in San Diego with her boyfriend. I will be here in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania where we both grew up and lived for 24 years. Except for the four years I lived in New York City, my best friend has always been less than a half-hour away from me. Even then, she was only an hour and half train ride away. But now, after 13 years of friendship filled with growing pains, heartaches, sleepovers and dinners whenever we wanted, things are going to be switched up a bit.

We were sitting in our favorite Chinese restaurant in Chinatown, a place where she had Chinese food with my family for the first time almost a decade a ago, when she told me the news. I knew that our conversation would be lively that night, initiated by a Facebook message sent earlier that day by her saying that she had something to tell me over dinner that had to be done in person. That afternoon, the possibilities had swirled in my head. Was she engaged to her boyfriend? Is she up for a promotion at work? Do I need to raise bail money?

The phrase “Jim and I are moving to San Diego in July” took me off guard. Continue reading →

Congratulations to the class of 2012. After four years of pouring over textbooks, dealing with roommate drama and fighting with your college’s financial aid office, your college career has come to an end. This pomp and circumstance is the grand finale of the marathon of education, for most. Rehydrate with the beer at your graduation party because there is a more challenging feat that is next on your to-do list: start your career in your chosen profession in one of the worst economic periods our country has ever known. Hell, hard liquor may be needed at times to prepare for the challenge. Continue reading →