Here I Go Again – Humira Wednesday #2

Since last Friday’s blog post, a few things have happened in my Crohn’s and wellness journey, other than me shamelessly sharing selfies of myself in Cure for IBD shirts. (Remember, 100% of funds goes to research!)

Sunday evening and the majority of Monday was spent doing homework, as usual, but I did get to meet with the therapist for the first time. I met with Liz Monday afternoon, and we talked for over an hour, about anything and everything related to mental health in my life. (See The Week I Asked for Help)

We talked about family, we talked about friends, we talked about my health, and, we talked about my happiness. We talked about my past, and we talked about my future, and, we talked about all of the moments and details in between.

I cried on and off during the majority of the appointment and I vented all of my problems I have been having. I tried to share everything that I’ve been feeling, even the dark thoughts, and I truly did feel better for talking about it and for seeking this help. (Thank you to the select few who contacted and talked to me this week, your ‘virtual’ support means a lot.)

Liz decided that I probably needed to see a therapist more often because I have a lot of emotional trauma, stress, and anxiety, things from my past that I need to work out, stuff that I’ve kept to myself for years. I will be getting information about my new permanent therapist sometime within the next week.

Diagnosis? An “Adjustment Disorder” to stressors and trauma, depression and anxiety.

I had a phone interview with a different therapist on Wednesday, for my ‘Baseline Assessment’, to let them know where my mind is at at the moment. How often this? How often that? Explain this? Tell me about that?

We decided with the Lexapro, as I mentioned last week, and it was mailed on Tuesday, but I have yet to receive it.

And then, yesterday (Thursday), I had my 3rd phone interview, with yet another therapist. This time, to talk about my military sexual trauma (MST) and everything related to that hot mess of drama and what I can do about it. Ugh.

I’m telling you, if I didn’t want to think about it, then I was out of luck. I have spoken to someone almost every day this week dealing with mental health, and it does make you dwell on it and think about it, relive it and it reminds you of those feelings, and that’s never fun. It was constantly brought up this week, but I’ll work it out.

In my Crohn’s news, I still have not received the Imuran because we were still waiting on the blood tests from two weeks ago when I got the Humira loading dose shots.

Those blood tests results finally came back, and the Imuran was mailed to me on Tuesday. I will start that medication and I’ll notify my doctors as soon as I receive it and take it. Remember, the Imuran is like a booster for the Humira.

Every few weeks, I will have to go into the VA hospital to check my CBC and liver panels; the Imuran being an immunomodulator, it can reduce my immune system and my body’s ability to fight infections. This means I can and will get sick easier, so if you have a cold stay clear of me! I do not want to wear a medical face mask around people.

And, to add to it, it can cause many side effects and some major problems if you don’t monitor your body’s reactions, your liver, kidneys, and, bone marrow. So that’s why I’ll get blood tested more often. So, that’s just another reason I’ll have to go to the VA more often.

I know, I know, there’s so many medications and you guys probably have no idea what I’m even talking about at this point anymore. Imuran and Lexapro, etc. I can make a quick little ‘shopping list’ of my current meds and why I’m taking them to help:

Humira Wednesday #2 – It Could Be Worse Blog

Humira Wednesday #2 – It Could Be Worse Blog

C: Crohn’s M: Migraines MH: Mental Health D: Dermatology F: Fertility Although, I am not taking all of these. The Fertility meds are not being taken, except for the NuvaRing use, and some of the Dermatology meds are no longer in use. Still, it’s a lot.

As for Humira Wednesday #2, it was still a little difficult injecting myself. I thought for sure I’d be okay with it, but once I got the pen ready to go, my body starts to stress and I get nervous, and it takes me a moment of psyching myself up to press the button.

It’s harder than you think stabbing yourself. I also got to meet my second Humira representative that day, and she was much nicer (and more sober) than my first rep. I won’t have to see her again unless I request help or need something.

Humira Wednesday #2 – It Could Be Worse Blog

Humira Wednesday #2 – It Could Be Worse Blog

Instead of giving the shots at North and South, respectively, I could not inject my second shot up top, so both went ‘in’ at my lower stomach, about an inch apart. From now on, I will alternate between left and right side injections since I will only have to do one injection, bi-weekly, from here on out.

After the shots, I was extremely tired and fatigued, much like Humira Wednesday #1. It probably doesn’t help that my insomnia has taken over. By afternoon, Philip came home to me passed out on the couch, eye mask on and all. He let me sleep for an hour or so, but I had to get up and eventually make dinner.

Ah, dinners. I am still puking after every one. It doesn’t matter if we have soup and grilled cheese or burgers and fries, within 20 minutes of eating, everything is coming back up. Every. Single. Day.

I have attempted to eat lunch a few times this week, but they are no good either. I am still vomiting everything. You would think I would be malnourished and pass out at this point, but I don’t know. Sometimes I keep down water and sometimes I don’t. My throat and abs hurt from constantly puking every day. I am hopeful that this Humira will start working and I can start keeping food down.

Other than that, I finished one class and I started a new one this week. I spent hours in my bathroom, feeling pretty badly overall, but I’ve tried not to complain as much and I’ve tried see the silver lining in things, thanks to my Crohnie friends. 🙂

I’ll visit with MSK for my Carpal Tunnel on Monday, and I will have my first therapy appointment in October, with Neurology and Dermatology, too. We/I will figure it all out, eventually! Seeing the positive, It Could Be Worse.

We/I will figure it all out, eventually! Seeing the positive, It Could Be Worse.

This Sunday is the FunDay at Churchill Downs for Crohn’s and Colitis. I may or may not go, depending on my stomach, but I hope to see you there.

And for those interested, check out InstaCrohns for the “Largest Collection of Personal Crohn’s Stories”, where they share a quick summary of my story, and make sure to follow them on Instagram (and me, THANK YOU)

Humira Wednesday #2 – It Could Be Worse Blog

Humira Wednesday #2 – It Could Be Worse Blog

And as always, any information you’d like to offer up about Humira or any of my struggles and issues, I have open ears and I’ll happily take any tips you have!