Then there was 'chemo brain' which caused problems with her memory and ability to concentrate.

Recalling one party she attended alone, she said: 'I was considering the evening a
success when I began a nice chat with another party-goer about
contemporary art, the field we both work in.

'Somehow
the conversation shifted to Las Vegas, and things went downhill. I made
some comment about that controversial ID carrying law in Las Vegas, New
Mexico, and then froze.

Better to be open: Last month, Ms Helck posted a time-lapse video of her year of treatment - she says she doesn't feel embarrassed by it because 'it is a true expression of that time'

'Wait.
I thought to myself. That’s wrong. Walter White lives in New Mexico,
and gambling is illegal in ‘Breaking Bad.’ Where is Las Vegas? WHERE?
(And forget that the law is in Arizona. I didn’t realize that until
weeks later.)

'The rusty
gears in my head were slow and very creaky to start, chemo having sucked
out all their oil. A puzzled look had spread across my conversation
partner’s face.

'I had
been passing, up until that moment, for someone with normal cognition.
Because of where I was, I felt I couldn’t just blurt out “Chemo brain!”
and laugh off my mistake, the way I would with my husband or sister.
Instead I just stood there, squirming, until he politely changed the
subject.'

'Laying it all out can be cathartic and important and refreshing. So much of shame comes from secrets'

She said that the embarrassment caused by cancer goes both ways.

Many
of her friends who had never experienced the illness of a peer would
look curiously at the headscarf she wore to cover her bald head but said
nothing.

Some were also unsure if it was appropriate to joke or get emotional around her - so instead they would keep quiet.

However, Ms Helck suggests the best way of conquering embarrassment is 'openness.'

She concludes: 'Laying it all out can be cathartic
and important and refreshing. Last month, I posted a time-lapse video of
my year of treatment. The photos aren’t pretty, and some of them
(shocker) might be considered kind of embarrassing.

'But
I don’t feel embarrassed by the video. Because it is a true expression
of that time, it doesn’t bother me that my drains, or my bald head, are
showing. So much of shame comes from secrets.'