It's an ongoing quest.

October 14, 2015October 14, 2015

10/13/15

Dear Journal,

How are you feeling? As for me, I’m fine. Today went semi OK, but yeah, I should say it went by well. The day is always well. I woke up with a plan to sell my car to one of those Cash 4 Cars places, but the guy I talked to yesterday never showed up. That was almost a complete waste of my time. It dictated a part of my day, you know? We had a time to meet, and he made me go there for no reason. To make it worse, when I called his company, he told me, “Oh, I thought you said 4:00.” I clearly told him 2:00. Then he said he’ll call me back. I sort of knew he was flaking, but I still called him about 15 minutes later. He didn’t answer. I made sure to give him a very negative “Yelp” in return. I hope it serves him well.

I took public transportation back home. At soon as I got off the bus, someone called me and they were very eager to pick up the car. I took the bus all the way back, and sold it to him. Yay ! I sold that car. Lord knows I needed the money. The weekend killed me because of the lost phone I replaced, the new clothes that I needed, but probably picked the wrong time to buy, and plus the $50 I spent on the new camera to add to the money my mom had sent me as a gift that I also used to buy the camera with; oh, yeah, and rent already ready for next month. After all that I am left penniless. Now I have some money to dance around with until payday next week. I don’t have to pay for anything with that whole check. Let’s see how wisely I manage it. Is it party time for both weekends? We’ll see.

On the way back home, I got a call from work. they wanted me to come in early, so I agreed. I took the bus right to work without ever making it home again. I will be working for 15 hours, I think and will not be home until tomorrow morning. So I haven’t been home to do anything. Luckily there is food at work. It’s not healthy, but I will manage. They have apples, at least.

I upset that I am missing Krav Maga class, again, today because of all of these things. Why am I always missing? Why can’t this stuff be in perfect order? What’s wrong with me? I can’t even keep up with meditating. I’m averaging one day a week at this point. I really have to make these two things important priorities. I am frustrated that I haven’t been.

At least I’ve been keeping up with doing one photo a day. I sort of don’t like that plan anymore, though. I feel like I am repeating instead of learning. I remember, in a film photography class I had taken that a teacher told us to take a photo of one object 36 times from different angles and such. At least one of those photos would be awesome. I did that to a beach bench that I chose to photograph. People were fascinated by it at the time. In fact, I think it’s low key enough for me to feature it here. I will start doing that, a day, instead. That shouldn’t take so long. The subject doesn’t need to be fancy. I know for a fact that it will help me with my personal photoshoots with women, though. I feel like the meditation and affirmations and all will help me as well; that’s why I am upset when I don’t keep up.

Anyways, I feel like I have written enough here, so take care.
Chat tomorrow !

Well it’s Saturday night.
You’re all dressed in blue.
I’ve been watching you a while.
Maybe you’ve been watching me too.

The road is tough and it’s a thin thin line.
But I want you to know that I’ll walk it for you anytime.
Maybe your other boyfriends could never past the test.
But, baby if you’re ready for love,
I’m tougher than the rest.