Splash Down (A Subnautica Story)

Comments

This is also in a universe where there are two survivors from the Aurora. This would seem to me to be an even bigger mistake, but it works tremendously.

In this universe, the Aurora could very likely have had 7000 people aboard.

And besides, a fan story doesn't necessarily have to follow rigidly with the lore. Creativity is definitely more important in this case.

Not true; there were other survivors from the Aurora that were around for the first few days - at least eight others, if the Warper's comments about "Nine new biological subjects detected" are any indication. In that, a second survivor isn't all that unlikely.

Also, the author has repeatedly stated that they're trying to stick as close to the canon as possible unless the changes made are to make the story flow better, and has even made edits to reflect such. If not for that, I'd have agreed with you... but by all indication, this isn't meant to be a different universe. So the Aurora wouldn't have had 7,000 people - it'd have had 157, Jeff and Palmer included.

There's gotta be a balance point between creativity and lore, though - otherwise, why even bother making it stick so close to the story everywhere else and just make it a complete AU? Especially if it's for a spicific fanbase (people who know and play the game, that is).

Hey, bro. How's about this: It's @ThunderShock27 's story, not yours. If you don't like how it's written, that's fine! But then why are you here? If you do, then don't pick at details like how many people were onboard. After all, in Bugz's original story, Aurora Falls, he said there were 2,000 or so. Not trying to be an ass, I'm just sayin'.

Hey, bro. How's about this: It's @ThunderShock27 's story, not yours. If you don't like how it's written, that's fine! But then why are you here? If you do, then don't pick at details like how many people were onboard. After all, in Bugz's original story, Aurora Falls, he said there were 2,000 or so. Not trying to be an ass, I'm just sayin'.

Except that's not what I'm doing, though; I didn't say the story was bad or the like - in fact, I said I enjoyed it. I only pointed out that there was a hiccup in the lore-accuracy. Specifically that, if there were anywhere even close to just a 1,000 people, there'd be a ton more survivors - the relatively small number of crew is pretty much the whole reason there weren't many survivors. You're the one that got up in my grill over a piece of criticism, dude.

Also, I fail to see how a lore-inaccuracy in one story justifies having it happen in another; two wrongs don't equal a right.

Let me clear up some things. When I was doing research for how many crew members were on the Aurora (since I failed to see the PDA that said the actual count), I looked up the closest real world relative to the Aurora: Aircraft carriers. The largest aircraft carrier in the world is the US Nimitz class carrier whose last unit in its class was commissioned in 2005. This carrier has a capacity to carry 5,200 crew. That's 3,200 ship's company, 1,500 air wing, and 500 other crew posts. That's including the capacity to carry over 60 aircraft and the 4.5 acre space to store them! That, is a massive vessel. Now, is it that much of a stretch, to take a vessel like the Aurora who would seem to be about 2-3 times the size of the largest aircraft carrier in the world, and say it has a crew of about 7,000? I don't think so. Sure, the Aurora was designed primarily to carry supplies and cargo for the construction of the phase gate, but we're talking about a universe where every molecule of material can be stored in the most optimized space. I think it's actually a bit more believable to say there was a crew of around 7,000, then only about 157. 157, while still a massive loss of life, is also not as hard hitting as saying that 6,998 people were killed in the tragedy.

Also, I said in the beginning that I would be sticking to the main lore of the Subnautica storyline. However, first, I never said I would be rigidly clinging to every tiny detail. If I did that, there wouldn't be much point in writing a novelization of the story. Take Lord of the Rings for example. I'd say it's the greatest book-to-movie transition ever. It kept all the main story points, and went to incredible length to insert other details that they could, yet they still left some things out. But the stuff they left out or altered didn't do anything to hurt the story or even damage it's accuracy with the book. Now, I'm not going to say that I'm as good a writer or directer as those involved in Lord of the Rings, far from it. I'm an amateur writer that makes lots of mistakes, but don't always assume that when I alter a small or unimportant detail in the Subnautica plot, that It's a mistake. Palmer is a great example. Palmer is no where in the original plot and could be considered a deviation from the storyline, but he also doesn't change the course of the story either. They're still going to investigate the precursors, they're still going to have to cure themselves, and they're still going to have to escape the planet via rocket. As long as the MAIN Subnautica plot isn't altered, the story can still be sticking to the MAIN lore. The editions of personal variations to the story are there to keep interest in the story, to add intrigue, to cause uncertainty, and to make my story unique and more enjoyable than just playing the game.

I value constructive criticism, @The08MetroidMan , but don't get shook about unimportant details like crew count. Also, when people make valid points against your criticism, don't continue on with it. I think @Skope made a post that brought the whole thing to a close, but you seem to have chosen to ignore the valid points he made. I hope this post clears things up more and that you'll not think I hate you or am offended, I simply want to clear this up so that you and everyone else can relax and enjoy the story for what it is.

Now, is it that much of a stretch, to take a vessel like the Aurora who would seem to be about 2-3 times the size of the largest aircraft carrier in the world, and say it has a crew of about 7,000? I don't think so.

Except that, logically speaking, any phasegate the ship is meant to build would have to be large enough to encompass ships that were at least the Aurora's size - if not larger than that, as there's nothing in-game to suggest the Aurora was the largest human ship. Plus, they had a ton of exploratory and savage gear aboard in hopes of locating and recovering the Degasi, and more crew equals more food in place of gear.

So... honestly, yeah; it feels like it would very much be a stretch to assume the ship even had half that many people aboard, given the circumstances. Hell, vessels like the Cyclops serve as a proof-of-concept to this crew-limit - on modern-day earth, ships that size need at least half a dozen people to effectively man it, yet the Cyclops needs only three at maximum and can be operated by just one at minimum. Why assume the Aurora would be any different?

Also, I said in the beginning that I would be sticking to the main lore of the Subnautica storyline. However, first, I never said I would be rigidly clinging to every tiny detail.

This isn't a "tiny detail", though; this is one of (and arguably the most important of) the core reasons why there were so few survivors of the Aurora's crash. We've seen what just one survivor (the player) could accomplish on their own - if there had been anywhere near as many people as you're saying there should be, than there'd be a whole town's worth of survivors in a fully-functioning city, thereby killing the whole premise of only a few stragglers trying to make due in dire straits. That there were so few crew-members in the first place is why the number of survivors didn't go beyond single-digits - if there'd been over a thousand, the circumstances in-game wouldn't even be possible.

If I did that, there wouldn't be much point in writing a novelization of the story. Take Lord of the Rings for example. I'd say it's the greatest book-to-movie transition ever. It kept all the main story points, and went to incredible length to insert other details that they could, yet they still left some things out.

Except that, like Lord of the Rings, of the lore-changes you made were ones that made sense thematically (expanded PDA functions, expanded inventory of items aboard the Aurora, etc)... but this one isn't one of those. This, by your own admission, was an actual logistical error because you made an estimate rather than a deliberate/intentional change, and the real-world logic you're using to justify it doesn't match against the logic in-game. Doubly so, since this isn't a change that would impact or affect the narrative in any way - it's a statistical error for how many people were on the ship, not a scathing breakdown of the main characters or how they work or should be characterized.

I value constructive criticism, @The08MetroidMan , but don't get shook about unimportant details like crew count. Also, when people make valid points against your criticism, don't continue on with it. I think @Skope made a post that brought the whole thing to a close, but you seem to have chosen to ignore the valid points he made.

That's just it, though; responses like what you and @Skope made feel like the complete opposite; I responded clearly and concisely to everything that was said and went into detail why I disagreed, whereas the two of you were/are coming across as... well, dismissive. Especially considering @Skope's argument literally boiled down to "it's his story, so leave if you don't like it!" rather than a factual refutation of the arguments... and yet, you're saying that his basically asking me to sod off for responding to him are "valid points against (my) criticism"? I honestly don't see how that works.

Likewise, I'm not trying to tear your story apart - as I've said repeatedly now, I like it a lot; I wouldn't even be commenting if I didn't. But this is the first, last and only major lore-hiccup you've really had, and I'm sorry if my pointing out such somehow offended you, but I wouldn't go so far out of my way to argue it if I didn't think it was an issue worth noting.

I am not offended my friend! I simply think you're trying to nitpick on something and blowing it way out of proportion. You said that the amount of people on board the Aurora is why there's only 1 or 2 survivors, but you're assuming the un-assumable. Just because there are more people, doesn't mean there will be more survivors. Chance, is not a measurable unit and in a tragedy like getting shot down by a laser cannon and then plummeting to the surface of a planet and then trying to survive in reaper infested, radiation-tainted waters is all up to chance. Just because something is MORE LIKELY to happen, doesn't mean it will. In this case, just because there are MORE PEOPLE, doesn't mean there will be MORE SURVIVORS. That's simply not a thing you can be 100% on and for the sake of the story, there are still the same amount of survivors. This isn't a math equation, this is a fictional story and certain plot devices will be used to make the story interesting.

As I stated previously, it IS a tiny detail. Whether 152 crew or 1,000,000,000 crew, it doesn't change the fact that all but 2 of them died, and no matter what number you insert for the crew count, the events of the main plot can still play out. Here is a detailed list of the main plotline that I will be following:

Anything, that alters this line of events, is an important detail. Anything that Isn't listed here, is an unimportant detail that can be altered without effecting this train of events. There could be 100 survivors and it wouldn't change anything. Heck, building a cyclops isn't even a necessary plot device. What I'm trying to say is. While this may, indeed, be a mistake, it is in no way something to go to this length about! Your first comment was fine. I even agreed with it. But when you kept posting, it makes it seem like you would rather make a big deal out of this.

Skope's response was not as rude as you seem to think. He made 3 valid points that were not jabs or dismissive. The whole trouble started when you responded in a defensive way to skope. If you had left it as it was, or simply responded that you don't agree with him, that would have been fine. We're all entitled to our own opinions.

Here's the bottom line, and if you truly like this story, then I would ask that this conversation stop right here with this post:
7,000 doesn't change how the story is going to pan out, neither skope, nor I had any disrespect toward you, and this story, however way you take this, IS my story, and as long as I'm being truthful, and not defying the laws of physics, I have the ability to mold this story in whatever creative or unique way I feel is appropriate.

I am not offended my friend! I simply think you're trying to nitpick on something and blowing it way out of proportion.

But again, it's not a nitpick; it's honestly one of the key reasons there were so few survivors in the first place - because there weren't a whole lot of people aboard to begin with. That's not "assuming the un-assumable" - that's pure factual statistics; the smaller your starting the count, the less people you have standing at the end of a disaster. That's an immutable truth completely independent of chance and circumstance - that's not a math-equation either; that's a solid factual statement. If there were 1,000,000,000 crew, it wouldn't be a survival situation - it would be a "colonize the new world" situation since just one survivor is able to build fully-functional habitats of indefinite size and complexity. Out of the two situations, 2 out of 7,000 surviving is far less realistic than 2 of 157 surviving.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but that logic feels one-sided; if it was honestly that tiny of a detail... why are you going so far out of your way to argue against editing it? Hell, you've arguably spent more time effort trying to justify it than it would have to correct it.

You haven't explained how correcting what you yourself admitted was an oversight/error would in any way affect that list, though. From what I can see, it wouldn't. Hell, if anything, ignoring it is what'd be more likely to affect that - because again, if there were 7,000 people on the Aurora, the main characters would not need to do any of this - there'd logically be a whole swarm of them doing all this as a civilization, not a small group or pair trying to survive.

Also... honestly speaking, I'm going to this length because that's the lengths you and @Skope responded with. I know it's cliché to say, but it takes two to tango - and you're honestly going to equal or even greater lengths than me to justify not changing what you yourself confessed was an honest mistake, even though you're saying you don't think it serious.

This is also in a universe where there are two survivors from the Aurora. This would seem to me to be an even bigger mistake, but it works tremendously.

In this universe, the Aurora could very likely have had 7000 people aboard.

And besides, a fan story doesn't necessarily have to follow rigidly with the lore. Creativity is definitely more important in this case.

Not true; there were other survivors from the Aurora that were around for the first few days - at least eight others, if the Warper's comments about "Nine new biological subjects detected" are any indication. In that, a second survivor isn't all that unlikely.

Also, the author has repeatedly stated that they're trying to stick as close to the canon as possible unless the changes made are to make the story flow better, and has even made edits to reflect such. If not for that, I'd have agreed with you... but by all indication, this isn't meant to be a different universe. So the Aurora wouldn't have had 7,000 people - it'd have had 157, Jeff and Palmer included.

There's gotta be a balance point between creativity and lore, though - otherwise, why even bother making it stick so close to the story everywhere else and just make it a complete AU? Especially if it's for a spicific fanbase (people who know and play the game, that is).

I offered a detailed explanation for why I disagreed with his claims; He said that there was more than one survivor already indicated lore-change - I disagreed by pointing out multiple people survived but that the Warpers got to them before the player did; He claimed this was possibly an alternate-universe - I disagreed by pointing out your own desire to stick as close as possible to the lore unless narrative demanded otherwise; He argued lore was completely secondary to narrative - I disagreed by arguing you need a balance point in order to distinguish a personal take or novelization from a complete AU. None of that was done "defensively" - I didn't insult him, didn't belittle him and didn't take offense to what he said; I simply disagreed with him... and in response, his next reply boiled down to;

Here's the bottom line, and if you truly like this story, then I would ask that this conversation stop right here with this post:
7,000 doesn't change how the story is going to pan out, neither skope, nor I had any disrespect toward you, and this story, however way you take this, IS my story, and as long as I'm being truthful, and not defying the laws of physics, I have the ability to mold this story in whatever creative or unique way I feel is appropriate.

But again, that's my whole point; this number wasn't something you did as a change. By your own admission, it was a mistake because you simply didn't know how many people were on the ship and not a creative edit you intended to make, so that doesn't at all apply to how you're molding the story and disregards the physics of "thousands of people = hundreds of survivors minimum". And in turn... it feels like I'm being shown disrespect simply because I bothered to care about offering criticism to your story about something, than basically being told you don't respect me (or at least that's what the "neither skope nor I had any disrespect towards you" part feels like ) and being shown the door (or at least that's what saying "stop right here" feels like) just because I responded when somebody else made an argument towards me over it.

To make a long story short... it really, really does not feel fair of you to just, well, brush me aside as if I'm trying to ruin the story when I'm just defending what I said. I wouldn't even put this much effort into it if I didn't like this story - and saying that if I truly like it, I should just keep quiet when someone speaks directly to me and not be passionate about the story... it feels hurtful, honestly.

Ok how about this: It's a STORY. Also, you forgot to account for Murphy's Law: Anything that can happen will happen, meaning that only 2 survivors out of 7,000 people IS possible. Also, maybe you should take a look at my story, it has 8 survivors out of god knows how many in my story. If you really want to nitpick on the logistics and possibilities of the story when it has 7,000 people on board, go ahead, just do it on your own time, @The08MetroidMan . It's literally a small piece of info only mentioned if you read the PDA or Wiki, which most people don't. So please, just stop arguing for this small detail. Also, how do you know what the phasegates look like and how big they are?

I don't want to get into circular arguing. I and others have already addressed your points with valid counter-points even though you have chosen not to acknowledge them. I value your opinion, and am sorry if that has not been apparent. However, that's all it is, an opinion, of which we are both entitled to having. For these reasons, I feel it best to no longer participate in this argument.

That's not "assuming the un-assumable" - that's pure factual statistics; the smaller your starting the count, the less people you have standing at the end of a disaster.

A word of advice, multi-quote replies that seem to exist solely to further an argument that no-one else is interested in don't do well here, so it's probably time to just drop it, as your post is getting reported, which means I have to do stuff. I don't like doing stuff.

That's not "assuming the un-assumable" - that's pure factual statistics; the smaller your starting the count, the less people you have standing at the end of a disaster.

A word of advice, multi-quote replies that seem to exist solely to further an argument that no-one else is interested in don't do well here, so it's probably time to just drop it, as your post is getting reported, which means I have to do stuff. I don't like doing stuff.

But in all seriousness, @The08MetroidMan, I apologize if my comment gave you the idea that I wanted you to leave if you didn't like it. I never want to be the person who pushes someone away from a good thing.

But just... choose your battles.

Sometimes, even if it genuinely hurts, it's just better to let go of the finer details. If the passenger count was an extremely important plot point, than I would wholeheartedly agree with you. But an arbitrary number of imaginary people on an imaginary space shuttle crashing into an imaginary planet in an imaginary universe just simply doesn't matter in the grand scope (heh heh) of things.

Hey ThunderShock27, I really like your writing style. Also, it's up to you, but if you could keep words that are considered by some to be vulgar out? I know you barely did any but saying da-- and "holy" anything kind of bothers me....thanks

@Soonerbot Of course! I'm glad to know you are for wholesome content as I am! As I recall, there are only 2 "damns" in the story and both of those are from direct quotes of the actual in-game data bank entries of Avery Quinn and not my own choice of words. Being a Christian, I purposefully refrain from vulgar language as I try to avoid it in real life as well.

If I could go back and change them I would, but unfortunately after a certain period of time, posts become no-longer editable so just rest assured that those 2 instances should remain the only ones.

Also thanks for reminding me of this issue as I had been meaning to mention that I don't condone vulgar language.

"Alright this is as far as Determination can go. We've got to break out Talon."

Palmer reached up and shut off the engine. They were surfaced in the hollowed out frame of the nose of the Aurora. Debris and deck fragments prevented the large profile of the cyclops from getting any closer to the sloped deck section that would allow them entry into the ship.

"Ok I'll go fire 'er up," Jeff said as he left the computer terminal and headed to the cargo bay to stock up.

As Palmer left the control yoke, he glanced at the radar just for a little comfort that at least for 50 yards in all directions there was nothing of concern.

Jeff grabbed some tools as well as a few ration packs they had put together that contained food and water, then he headed back up and got down into Talon. Palmer stood above him looking down.

"I'll drop in and immediately head to the forward airlock so you can drop down and grab on to the outside of Talon."

Palmer nodded and headed back toward the ladder. Jeff closed the hatch above him and double tapped a screen on his right. Instantly all the lights and displays in the seamoth came on and the control yoke unfolded and came forward into Jeff's reach.

"Welcome aboard captain," Sally said.

"Hey Sally, what do you think it would take to upgrade your personality? Like, I dunno, increase your vocabulary and upgrade your human emotion ability?"

Jeff pressed a button on one of the consoles which signaled the cyclops to begin drop sequence.

"I was not programmed with voice customization ability due to the nature of my existence as the most basic survival assistance AI. However, getting passed my firewalls and into my core code, upgrades could be made. This would require specific coding ability."

The two bulkheads closed and the bay doors swung out causing a huge rush of water that instantly filled the whole room.

"Ok, I'll see what I can do, Sally."

The docking clamps released and Talon slowly sank down into the drink. Jeff guided the seamoth toward the front of the Determination and waited just below the airlock hatch. He turned on his voice com and signaled to Palmer. The hatch opened in a flash of bubbles and Palmer swam down taking hold of the left side of Talon. He nodded to Jeff and Jeff turned toward the submerged end of the sloped deck and headed off. Palmer was jerked by the sudden movement of the seamoth but quickly solidified his grip. The distance was not great but just enough to keep his adrenaline pumping as they crossed several yards of murky open ocean. Visibility was much worse around the Aurora then anywhere else they had been and Palmer assumed it had something to do with all the sand and debris kicked up by the crash. Even after weeks, it would take a long time for all the debris to fully resettle. Occasionally, a piece of metal or deck would protrude out of the blue murk indicating to Palmer just how short a distance the visibility was. After an uncomfortably long few moments, Palmer finally saw the deck they were looking for come into view. Jeff angled Talon sideways up next to the deck and got out as Palmer crawled out of the water ahead of him. Jeff hoisted himself up onto the deck out of the water and turned back around to access Talon's storage compartment. He took out the rations and tools he had gathered earlier and gave the welder and laser cutter to Palmer while Jeff kept the Propulsion cannon and scanner. They distributed the rations evenly between them and each strapped a knife to their side.

"Alright, I'm ready to be anywhere but in the ocean!" Palmer exclaimed jokingly.

"Don't get too excited yet friend... in some ways, the Aurora might hold horrors more terrifying than a reaper... Mental horrors."

Palmer's face sobered a bit and they began walking up toward where the entry Jeff had first gone through would be. They made their way inside the Aurora, passing through territory familiar to Jeff. With no fires, no explosions, and no radiation still remaining in the Aurora, the whole place had become as silent as a tomb. Other than the occasional creek of metal or shifting of debris, the only noise was what Jeff and Palmer made as they made their way through the burnt corridors. The electricity and power systems had long since gone kaput leaving them in pure darkness- if it weren't for the flashlights they had brought. Unfortunately, the smell hadn't changed much. In fact, since they weren't forced to wear radiation helmets, the smell seemed even worse in direct contact with their nostrils. The smell of burnt metal and smoke still dominated the air along with the hint of death that had increased in strength since the last time Jeff had been here. Palmer nearly lost it the first time he got a full whiff of the stagnant air in the dark corridors. The occasional cave crawler would pop out from behind something in curiosity, scare the crap out of them, and promptly be splatted against the wall by a propulsion cannon. There seemed to be less of them now than before, but the stench indicated there were still bodies littered throughout the ship that had not yet been consumed or were behind obstacles the crawlers couldn't reach. Coming to that fateful cargo room, Jeff noticed that the fires had burned any trace of blood stains or organic matter left behind by the crawlers completely away which was a relief for both of them. They dove down into the flooded lower decks and passed by the Particle Containment Field Generator now dormant after completing its cycle and, shortly after, losing power. They made their way back to the collapsed coolant pipe now silent with no more coolant left to give. Jeff nodded to Palmer who stepped up to the mass of pipes and twisted metal and began to cut into the debris with the laser cutter. After several minutes, there was a hole just big enough for them to crawl through. Once the edges of the hole had cooled and no longer glowed, they crawled through, Palmer first followed by Jeff. They were now inside the pipe, just large enough for them to stand up in if they bowed their heads. Jeff stood to the side while Palmer began cutting away at the other side of the pipe. Meanwhile, Jeff stared down the pipe into the blackness. Something about a long dark tunnel like this gave Jeff a chill. After another while, Palmer had finished and the molten edges of the cut had cooled and they stepped through on the other side of the pipe. Into the PRAWN bay they went. The suits Jeff had scanned his first time through here had been severely damaged by the fires. The one that had been hanging from the ceiling had finally fallen into the flooded floor breach below. Another lined up on their right had been crushed by a massive support beam that had collapsed from the deck above. The other was completely blackened by fire, its glass shattered from the intense heat and its armor warped, cracked and flaking. The debris blocking the stairs had only been reinforced by the falling beam on the left side, but on the right side, Jeff was able to easily pick up the crates and metal fragments and shift them away from the stairs allowing them to climb up to the platform above. The doorway up here was labeled "Crew Quarters Deck 3".

"Let's get in and out quick. Any of these doors that are closed means it was a tomb that likely protected any body that might be inside from the fire and or the crawlers. The quicker we're out, the less nightmares we'll have."

The hallway ahead of them was charred and warped. Several doors lined both sides two of which were open on either side as soon as they stepped through the doorway. Jeff took the right room and Palmer took the left. After a moment of salvaging and looking around they reconvened in the hall.

"Just a bar. None of the alcohol is still around that's for sure. There was a safe under the counter that had been busted open from the heat but the stuff inside was still intact. Lots of useless credits, but I did find this poster of a cute cat with a space helmet on. Thought it'd look good in my room."

Jeff chuckled and used a mocking voice, "You mean next to your wittle teddy bear and over your night-light?"

The two of them then headed down the hall searching through each door, using the laser cutter to gain access if need be. Luckily, they hadn't had to deal with any human remains so far as Jeff had feared, but there was nothing much of interest behind the doors either. After finding a bit more salvage in some opened rooms, they came to an executive branch that housed deck officers. After busting open a few doors with no reward, there were two left and these still had power from their emergency batteries that were likely nearing depletion. Their keypads flickered dimly and one of them had lost the bottom two rows of numbers due to the display screen getting melted by fires. To conserve laser cutter battery, they chose to attempt to unlock the doors first. They came to the functional keypad.

Jeff took out his PDA and scrolled through a file that contained all the scavenged PDA entries he had found on his first pass through the Aurora.

"Try 1454."

Palmer entered the code and with a red flicker the keypad indicated an incorrect input.

"Okay... lemme see... uh...sweet offer... oh here's one, try 1869."

Palmer entered the code and the keypad illuminated in green and the lock symbol changed from a closed red padlock to an open green padlock.

With not enough power to automatically slide open, Jeff was forced to open a maintenance panel next to the door. Inside was revealed a manual crank that could open the door. Jeff reached in and slid the crank out until it was lined up with the wall and he unfolded the handle. He took hold of the end and pulled down with all his might. The crank slowly came down moving the door about an inch. Palmer came along side Jeff and took hold of the crank as well and pulled. After several revolutions around the axis of the crank, the door was open enough to get inside. Jeff engaged a manual lock to prevent the door from sliding shut, folded the handle, and pushed the crank back into the wall. They stepped inside the ransacked room and looked around. This was deck officer Robin Eklund's room. While Jeff downloaded any useful data off of Eklund's personal data terminal, Palmer picked up a PDA off of the bed and read the last entry. Palmer's face slowly contorted into disgust.

"Even in his personal logs he's a complete selfish jerk," he mumbled to himself.

He set the PDA back on the bed and turned to Jeff, "Anything good?"

Jeff shook his head while continuing to monitor the terminal's screen, "Lot's of cargo info on the stuff they planned to use to search for the Degasi, but nothing on the Degasi crew themselves. Just a bunch of statistics and search party organization patterns." Jeff disconnected his PDA from the terminal, "Bout the only thing that terminal did for us is drain the battery on my PDA."

Jeff walked past Palmer out into the hall.

"Hey, this one's actually unlocked already," He said as Palmer came out after him.

Jeff once again extended the manual crank from the wall panel and they both began cranking the door open. Just as the door was nearing an acceptable distance to fit through, a form fell out of the opening and a horrid smell wafted out. Palmer quickly jumped back in alarm and as he realized what it was, his face twisted into horror. Peaking out through the space in the door, was the body of deck officer Edwin Mayzier lying face down on the floor wearing his stained officer uniform. Both Palmer and Jeff stood there staring for some time unsure of what to do. The body had only just begun to decompose but it was enough to make it look horrifying.

Palmer swallowed and continued staring at the corpse while tilting his head toward Jeff, "What do we do?"

Jeff suddenly realized he had been holding his breath this whole time and let out a long sigh.

"We've got to move him. I'll use the propulsion cannon to put him in one of the rooms we've already searched then you pull the crank out of the wall and disengage the lock and the door'll shut with gravity."

Palmer nodded, his eyes still wide. Jeff took out the propulsion cannon and pointed it at the body. He let out another sigh and locked on. The blue tendrils of the cannon shot out toward the corpse and pulled it all the way out of the room and levitated it in the air. Jeff kept his eyes fixed on the cannon instead of the body and used a dial to rotate it in a direction that would prevent them from seeing its face. Palmer folded the crank back into the wall and moved out of the way so Jeff could come down the hallway to another door. As Jeff slowly walked backwards toward the door Palmer had picked, Palmer pulled the wall panel off the wall and pulled the crank out. Jeff stepped into the room and set the body face down on a bed and quickly disengaged the cannon and stepped out. Instantly, Palmer lifted a lever on the crank and a wedge bit slid out of the gear teeth allowing the gear to rotate unhindered and the door slammed shut with the force of gravity due to the slant of the ship. They both let out a sigh but hesitated to inhale as the body had filled the hall with a smell worse than Jeff had ever experienced on his first expedition here. They both resolved to switch to portable air filter masks that they had brought with them just in case. They stepped back to Mayzier's room and went inside. Edwin Mayzier was the leading deck officer for deck 3 meaning he received the most important orders directly from the bridge. The chances of finding some valuable data here were high. Inside the disheveled room was another data terminal. On the floor, Palmer picked up an Aurora miniature and longingly held it in his hands. The model was a gateway to a past when the Aurora wasn't a tomb but rather a majestic vessel primed to carry its crew to explore the outer reaches of known space and expand human reach even further. While Palmer continued to eye the miniature, Jeff hooked up his PDA to the terminal. As the terminal began using his PDA's battery to power itself, the screen came on and slowly increased in brightness. Jeff selected a few options and navigated his way into personal data files and transmissions. When he opened the folder, the first thing he noticed was a file that had an odd date. The title was Alterra HQ Transmission #74 but the date was several hours after the Aurora had gone down. His interest piqued, Jeff opened the file and began reading.

AURORA [T-6mins]: This is an emergency distress call. Aurora is on collision course with planet 4546B. Sending all available environmental data. Please respond with rescue solution.

ALTERRA HQ [T+8hrs]: ALTERRA HQ: This is Alterra HQ. This may be our only communications window. We can't send a rescue ship all the way out there, so Aurora, you're just gonna have to meet us halfway. We've uploaded blueprints to the ship's computer. Blackbox data shows the high security terminal in the Captain's quarters is still functional. The code should be ####. When you download the blueprints you should find plans for an escape ship we calculate will be capable of breaking orbit and getting you back to the nearest phasegate. It's designed to use materials you can find in situ, but it's going to need a heck of a power source - you may need to salvage parts from the Aurora's reactor, or come up with something more creative. We'll be sure to- *Static*

[T+8hrs]: Communications relay OFFLINE"

Jeff kept looking at the terminal but tilted his head back toward Palmer, "Palmer, I think we found something pretty useful."

Ok how about this: It's a STORY. Also, you forgot to account for Murphy's Law: Anything that can happen will happen, meaning that only 2 survivors out of 7,000 people IS possible. Also, maybe you should take a look at my story, it has 8 survivors out of god knows how many in my story. If you really want to nitpick on the logistics and possibilities of the story when it has 7,000 people on board, go ahead, just do it on your own time, @The08MetroidMan . It's literally a small piece of info only mentioned if you read the PDA or Wiki, which most people don't. So please, just stop arguing for this small detail. Also, how do you know what the phasegates look like and how big they are?

That changes depending on the context, though - "anything that can happen will happen" is determined by what outcomes are possible given the restrictions; it's reliant on what is or isn't possible to happen in the first place.

For example; phasegates would have to be bigger than the Aurora to allow vessels of it's size to travel through it - and that's not even accounting for whether or not the Aurora is the largest ship-class out there. In that same vein; if there were anywhere even close to 7,000 people on the ship, than at bare minimum there would be a few hundred survivors. That's not "a small piece of info" - it's a key reason why there were so few survivors around.

Also... no offense, but the major difference is that I like this story and am a fan of it - I'm not debating things just for the hell of it or to be a lore-nazi; it's because I'm invested in this particular story. Besides, as I stated in earlier posts, there were in fact eight survivors at minimum in canon, according to the Warper's coms - it's just that in canon, the Warpers got to them first.

A word of advice, multi-quote replies that seem to exist solely to further an argument that no-one else is interested in don't do well here, so it's probably time to just drop it, as your post is getting reported, which means I have to do stuff. I don't like doing stuff.

Aside from times I have multiple people commenting towards me, I use mini-quotes because I often write a lot - more so than can be easily sifted through; mini-quotes are the only way I can think of to keep it clear what I'm referencing and when. I'm OCD, after all - I feel I have to do this just to make sure my points stay organized for others to read through... though I often have to go over the same stuff again and again anyway - case in point; I get treated like the bad guy just because I cared enough to point out what the writer himself admitted was an oversight.

But in all seriousness, @The08MetroidMan, I apologize if my comment gave you the idea that I wanted you to leave if you didn't like it. I never want to be the person who pushes someone away from a good thing.

But just... choose your battles.

Sometimes, even if it genuinely hurts, it's just better to let go of the finer details. If the passenger count was an extremely important plot point, than I would wholeheartedly agree with you. But an arbitrary number of imaginary people on an imaginary space shuttle crashing into an imaginary planet in an imaginary universe just simply doesn't matter in the grand scope (heh heh) of things.

That's still coming across like saying I should just be quiet if what I have to say isn't positive, though. What's more, this isn't "the finer details" - this is arguably the core reason why there were few survivors; because there weren't many people around to survive in the first place. I argue it because it is important plot-point - even if it was just 1,000 people, that'd be hard enough to stretch, but 7,000 is basically an entire colony. On top of that, it wasn't even a conscious change like a lot of the other stuff in the story - this was, on the author's own admittance, a mistake/oversight.

I don't want to get into circular arguing. I and others have already addressed your points with valid counter-points even though you have chosen not to acknowledge them. I value your opinion, and am sorry if that has not been apparent. However, that's all it is, an opinion, of which we are both entitled to having. For these reasons, I feel it best to no longer participate in this argument.

But that in and of itself is a circular argument, because I refuted those arguments with counter-points of my own... and feel like I was shut out because of it. Again, I did acknowledge them and I can freely point out that I did so - and my responses were getting shut out because, by all accounts, people simply didn't like what I said. What I said wasn't simple "opinion" - it's fact as per the game itself, combined with logic regarding higher numbers equating to a minimum of survivors beyond what there would be in-game. Something you're ignoring in spite of how it'd not have any impact for what you want to do with the story.

My wishing the best for this story was why I bothered to speak up in the first place. When others commented, I replied. Yet in spite of that, and in spite of taking the time and effort to detail my beliefs, I get accused of ignoring people when it's my own words that are being ignored. And again, it feels like all this because I actually bothered to care about your story... as if that was somehow a mistake in your eyes.

@The08MetroidMan perhaps I didn't explain myself clearly enough. Stop posting huge replies to several people. You are consistently derailing this story thread and in turn forcing me and others to reply, further derailing the thread. You can take up any major issues with the story in a PM to the author.

@The08MetroidMan perhaps I didn't explain myself clearly enough. Stop posting huge replies to several people. You are consistently derailing this story thread and in turn forcing me and others to reply, further derailing the thread. You can take up any major issues with the story in a PM to the author.

@The08MetroidMan perhaps I didn't explain myself clearly enough. Stop posting huge replies to several people. You are consistently derailing this story thread and in turn forcing me and others to reply, further derailing the thread. You can take up any major issues with the story in a PM to the author.

No, you very much explained yourself clearly; it's just that the last post had several different people to. I replied to them all at once to save time and posts, hence the size. But I digress - if that's really what you want, I won't dare bother with this story again.

I read that a year ago, back before it was even finished. Errors are still errors, though - one story having more of them doesn't erase them in others. But Splash Down's story wasn't what my issue was - that part, I loved; it was a logistics/setting error is all I pointed out... but again, since commenting on errors of any kind apparently gets people angry, I'm done coming here, don't worry about that.

P.S, @Foxy - I only replied here because someone commented to me and I responded to them; barring that, I have no intent of returning here.

"Rocket blueprints?! No way! That's just what we need!" Palmer exclaimed looking over Jeff's shoulder at the terminal.

"They said the only functional terminal that has access to the blueprints they transmitted is the captain's high security computer in the captain's quarters, but that's on deck 10 and all the elevators aren't going anywhere..." Jeff replied.

"We can always crawl up the elevator shaft's maintenance access?"

"It'd be the only way that's for sure, but that's a long way up and we wouldn't be able to carry all the stuff we currently have on us up there. We might need to come back another time."

Palmer groaned, "Blast, I don't wanna have to come back here ever again once we leave... too many reapers, too many things that want to kill us, and too much death... is there any other way to enter the Aurora from the shallow side?"

Jeff shook his head, "'Fraid not. All the outer airlocks are either buried under the sand or too high up on the hull to reach from the water's surface. Even if they were accessible, you tell me how we'd get a three foot thick titanium, pressure-hardened, blast door unlocked and opened? Not a chance unless we had an industrial grade laser torch but I don't foresee a random construction cruiser flying by and offering us one do you?"

Palmer sighed, "We'll just have to make sure to upgrade the cyclops about infinity times first before we come back then."

"Oh yeah, don't worry. We'll have the Determination tricked out by that point. The sonar's sonar will have a sonar, don't you worry a thing buddy."

Jeff unplugged from the terminal and they both headed back out into the hall. The rest of the crew quarters was blocked off by a dense blockage of debris so they headed back to the Prawn bay. They were just about to head back the way they came when Palmer spotted something in the water that filled the massive hole in the floor of the bay.

"Hey, there's another prawn suit down there. It's much more intact then any of the others here. It probably fell into the water before the fires got to it. It might be worth checking out since we're not missing much from the prawn blueprint we're trying to regenerate."

"Be my guest bro, but I've already warned you about those blood suckers."

"I didn't see any when we came through that submerged section when we came through the locker-room. Maybe they left?"

"I highly doubt it."

"Well, that's what I've got you for, you're the one with the propulsion cannon. Just blast the little buggers if they get near me," And with that he jumped in.

"Uhhhgg," Jeff groaned, and headed in after him.

Palmer floated right below where Jeff dropped into the water and was just about to ask him for his scanner when Jeff shoved it into his chest, "Here, now hurry up."

Palmer swam over to the damaged prawn suit weaving his way through all the exposed pipes, electronics, and twisted metal and began scanning it for the missing pieces to their blueprint. In the complete darkness, the water was even more frightening than before. Jeff feared that every time he shone his flashlight a new direction, a sea of the blood suckers would part and always keep just out of sight. He swam around Palmer keeping an eye out for any of the little suckers that might dare show its...

"Those things don't even have faces do they... they're literally designed solely to be annoying."

Jeff kept looking around until he noticed a bit of light coming from deep in the network of twisted pipes and metal toward the back of the floor cavity they were in. Still wary that the blood suckers could be lurking in the darkness, he pulled himself through the pipes and got a better look. He was under the wall of the prawn bay and there was a hole that lead up to the water surface. Jeff swam up to it and peaked his head above the water. A small corridor blocked off by debris in one direction, but behind him was a door that was labeled "Lab" and "BlackBox". Jeff ducked below the water and was about to head back toward Palmer when Palmer came flying through the water dodging the pipes as he came toward Jeff.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO WATCH MY BACK?!"

Behind him were three blood suckers following close after Palmer.

"There's a break in the floor above us that leads into another corridor, head up there and I'll deal with these guys."

Palmer quickly headed back behind him and Jeff aimed the cannon at a shattered piece of floor panel that lie on the support beams below him. He pulled it up in front of him as the blood suckers sped at him and he fired. The wide face of the panel nailed all three suckers at once shattering their extremely fragile bodies even though the water friction ate most of the momentum that the propulsion cannon gave the panel.

Wishing to avoid finding out if there were any more of those things coming this way, Jeff headed back up through the break in the floor into the corridor Palmer now waited in. Here, the water rose 5 feet above the floor and left a foot of airspace above. Before Palmer had a chance to say anything, Jeff locked onto another larger floor panel that was nearby and positioned it over the hole they had come up through. He turned toward Palmer with an embarrassed look.

"Oops. Kinda got distracted."

"Yeah, I can see that. You're lucky I saw you head this way or I wouldn't have known where to go to get away from them in time."

"Yeah sorry about that. I saw some light shining down from this corridor and I wanted to know where it lead..."

"Maybe say something first."

"Yeah.."

Palmer sighed and looked around, "Where is this?"

"The door there says 'lab' so I'm thinking we're in the science wing."

"We'll we can't go back down there. There were way more than just the three you saw. The rest of them were slower than those ones. We'll have to wait for them to calm down before we try to get back out that way so sounds like you've found us a good excuse to keep exploring."

Jeff gave a nervous smile, "Yay?"

Palmer's face morphed from upset to amused and he snickered, "Let's go."

They entered into the room and Jeff instantly recognized it as the blackbox data center. They were on the upper level catwalk and they swam down through the middle to the bottom floor. The room was rounded and there were several nobs on the wall that each represented a data tube. All the information stored here was useless to them as only a specific machine back at Alterra HQ could open and decrypt the data in these cylinders. However, Palmer made the point that It might be a good idea to save one as it would hold proof of the damage inflicted by the alien gun and other valuable information. So they went up to the main blackbox cylinder and pulled it out of its slot. This would typically be impossible since the only two doors that lead into this room were always locked at captain's clearance level, but the door up top was busted open, all power to the ship had been lost, and there was no one to stop them. They laser cut their way through the next door on this level and came into the outer lab. Here, the science team had been preparing to observe the environment of planet 4546B while in orbit. PDAs were strewn everywhere along with lab equipment like beakers and other containers. The inner lab was locked at a higher security clearance level and it contained more sensitive chemicals and machinery.

"Do we really want to try and sift through all these PDAs?" Palmer said as he eyed the pads that lay on the floor.

"Ignore the lab ones. Look for personal or work PDAs. That should narrow it down a bit since lab PDAs aren't allowed to leave the lab room."

They swam around looking for any valuable materials and any PDAs that were work issued or personal. After gathering a few odds and ends and sifting through several PDAs, they finally went up to the inner lab door and Palmer got to work. Once he had finished cutting through the door, they both headed inside to find even more lab debris. Desks lined the walls and in the center was a large robotic arm likely used for heavy lifting or chemistry precision. After searching through drawers and cabinets, they had scored themselves several computer chips and wiring kits along with other valuable scrap metal and robotic components. At the data terminal on the far end of the room, Jeff found the blueprint for a propulsion cannon but everything else had corrupted much to their disappointment. They exited the lab right as their oxygen levels were beginning to deplete.

"Quick, over here to our right there should be a staircase that should be high enough to break the surface of the water!"

They both swam to a room to the side of the lab and swam up some twisted stairs to the surface of the water.

After waiting several minutes to let their tanks refill with oxygen, they stepped up out of the water onto the floor. There was a doorway jammed with debris but Jeff noticed light coming through a few gaps. Using the propulsion cannon, he shifted all the debris out of the doorway and they were greeted with sun and much needed fresh air. They walked through the doorway out onto one of the barren decks of the decimated nose of the Aurora. Instantly, they both noticed the dorsal hump of the Determination sticking out of the water not far from where they were.

"Well looks like we've opened up a new entrance... too bad it's still out here over reaper water," Palmer said.

"Hey, at least we don't have to backtrack," Jeff pointed out.

"Yeah but Talon is over there next to the other deck section... we're all the way over here. Whether we swim to Determination or Talon we have a good distance to swim and I don't like the idea of swimming that far unprotected..."

"Hey you bring up a good point there, Palmer. I've been thinking about upgrading Sally's systems. Maybe I could work on getting an auto pilot into the seamoth to prevent situations like this."

"Well, we still have to deal with it for right now."

"Yup, and standing here doesn't get us to either of our vehicles any faster. Here, I'll pick up this steal beam and bring it along with us with the propulsion cannon. If a reaper shows any interest in us, I'll shoot it like a torpedo right into its ugly face. It's the best we can do..."

With that, Jeff picked up the beam with the cannon, and dropped into the water.

Palmer stood there hesitating, "Oh gosh! I was made to sit in a comfy chair while going at warp speed in the void of space, not swim in a blue death puddle at a snail's pace!"

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE. And no less

Also, since I started to read your story it inspired me to make one of my own (though I'm sure it won't be as good as this). Since the story of the 1st/2nd chapter is similar to yours, I will give you full credit for it if I end up posting it. Also in chapter 1 I put a reference to your character as long as ur ok with that What do you think?