Saturday, July 28, 2012

TWENTY ONE

Dear Blake,

So many thoughts are swirling through my head on this day; this day that is such a milestone birthday.

You came to us so easily. It seems we decided to start a family and within a few months we learned you were on the way. "A textbook pregnancy," is the term the doctor kept throwing around at each of my visits. You were not to be delivered quite so easily but not because you or I were in distress; but, merely because you had decided you'd rather stay where you were and not bother with the outside world; thus the c-section which brought you to us with your perfectly round head that earned you the name "pumpkin head" by all the nurses in the nursery. Seems your head and the teeny tiny bit of red hair upon it made them think of fall bounty.

They simply made me think of Heaven.

I have a confession to make, though.

I wanted a girl. Or, at least I thought I did. I had this silly notion that I wanted a girl to dress up in pink and lace and satin bows. And then. Then you were born and I eventually got to hold you and I felt so silly for thinking a boy just wasn't for me. Of course, I had wanted a boy. Who wouldn't want a boy? Everybody needs a boy.

Especially one like you.

God knew what he was doing; and of course he gave me my breathtaking little girl a few years later. I am such a blessed mother to have had a world filled with fire trucks AND baby dolls.

You were the sweetest, most compliant little guy a mother could ask for. Your toddler and preschool years were so easy and magical. It seems you woke up each morning and decided your job for the day was to make me smile. ALL DAY LONG. My biggest challenge with you was keeping up with your vocabulary. That and finding books you enjoyed; when you were four, you informed me you only wanted to "read stories that were true."

Yes, I did have to ask the children's librarian at the Decatur library: "Excuse me, ma'am? Where might I find non fiction for preschoolers?" And it was a challenge I had to meet weekly, as we visited the library at least that often; and I placed no limit on the amount of books you could check out.

You could not be bothered with talking bears that lived in a tree and carried flashlights. You wanted to learn about the White House and the men who had lived there. You wanted to learn about Marin Luther King, Jr. And, as you informed me when you were in first grade, you wanted Peter Jennings' job.

I always said your vocabulary was bigger than you were and you often left me slack jawed and mute with your responses and requests. I wanted to look around and find the 30 year old college professor who had taken over my toddler's body.

When I look at the man you have become, I cannot stop my heart from beating just a little faster. I cannot stop my eyes from filling with tears. You have made me so proud with your choices, your independence, your diligence, your loyalty.

I want to list some of my sweetest memories of your childhood; but time and space limit me. For now, just know that this birthday, your 21st, is one that your family will always remember. Knowing that you chose to come home and spend this time in Central Illinois with us...well...it is overwhelming. Knowing that you only wanted one thing for this birthday - to go to Wrigley Field with your dad...well, it makes me fall in love with HIM all over again because I absolutely love seeing you guys together. You are so lucky to have him but we are lucky to have you.

As you move forward into your very bright future, know that we love you, we are proud of you, and we stand behind you all the way.

I am, indeed, a very blessed mother. My kids have made this journey of parenting a magical one. They are far from perfect (which works out very well, since their parents are far from perfect) but I do love being their mama.