Re: I think I might be a lesbian?

I know this post is from...over a year ago (wow I didn’t realise I’d been questioning this for so long!) but it’s something that’s been really distressing me lately.

I get really, really anxious about whether I’m a lesbian, bisexual, or straight, and can’t stop obsessing over thoughts and analysing memories to try and figure out exactly what I felt. Plus I must have taken every single ‘am I a lesbian’ quiz on the entire internet I even find it hard to watch TV shows because I’m constantly analysing ‘well, do you like [female character] or [male character] better??’ I keep ending up telling myself ‘you’re straight and you’re faking it to feel special, you’re a bad person, one day you’ll fall in love with a man and you’ll forget about this.’

Thinking I might be straight (or even bisexual) makes me feel super upset because I can’t stand the thought of one day having to be with a guy (no offence, just like. Guys aren’t my type).

It just doesnt stop. My mind never shuts up. It’s like listening to nails on a chalkboard screaming in my head from the moment I wake up, in the hours I lay awake at night, then in between every hour of fitful sleep.

Re: I think I might be a lesbian?

I'm really sorry to hear that your thoughts about your sexuality won't stop and are causing you this much distress. It can be awful when you feel like you have a lack of control over your thoughts and the constant questioning and analyzing would be exhausting.

I'd imagine that obsessing over it this much is unlikely to give you the answer anyway. It might be helpful to try and let go of figuring out the answer and to just "feel" ya know? Maybe tell yourself things like "It's okay if I'm unsure right now, I'll figure it out eventually" or "I'm going to be okay whether I'm gay, straight, or bisexual."

Re: I think I might be a lesbian?

@TOM-RO thank you. Worrying definitely isn’t helping me figure it out, but I can’t seem to stop It’s all wrapped up with memories of being assaulted/harassed and with sad memories and it’s so confusing and scary.

I’m not a stranger to obsessive worrying, usually self soothing and grounding, writing it out, refusing to follow what my obsessive thoughts are telling me to do are all things that help but aren’t working for this. Unfortunately usual anxiety techniques (like meds and cbt) don’t seem to work for me. I’ve been trying to do yoga on nights when I can and that seems to help me clear my head a bit.

Re: I think I might be a lesbian?

Aw - I'm very sorry to hear about the assault/ harrassment . Coming to terms with one's sexuality can be difficult enough, without it being wrapped in all that other stuff like you said. No wonder you're confused and distressed about it. Sending you my love.