It should first be stated that this story is from August 2006. That said, this is absolutely mind blowing, especially considering that the culprit began his career as head of Wal-Mart theft prevention. Wow, that one backfired. According to a Bloomberg:

Thomas M. Coughlin, the former vice chairman at Wal-Mart Stores Inc., was sentenced to 27 months home detention, avoiding prison after admitting he falsified expense reports to buy liquor, care for his dogs and upgrade his truck.

Wal-Mart, the world’s biggest retailer, has accused Coughlin in a civil suit of wrongly claiming reimbursement for hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of items including hunting gear, dog food, underwear, beef jerky and a stuffed wild boar.

And apparently Mr. Coughlin liked to party:

Coughlin admitted using a stolen gift card in a Joplin, Missouri Sam’s Club to buy a cooler, two cases of Miller beer, two cases of Smirnoff vodka, a container each of Jack Daniels and Crown Royal whisky, a carton of Patron tequila, and a patio torch.

You gotta hand it to the guy, if you’re a creepy old guy planning to throw a party to celebrate your own impending self-inflicted doom, he’s pretty much got it covered.

Coughlin would go onto try and throw Wal-Mart under the bus by saying, “he took the money as reimbursement for funding a secret anti-union program at Wal-Mart. The company, which has battled unionization throughout the U.S., denied the claim.”

And it ends with Coughlin getting 27 months of home detention because his doctor said he couldn’t handle prison…? Dave Chappelle was right.