How to read psychic news

It is a bit of a slow day for skeptical blogs so I decided to do a little experiment and show you how to read news about psychic “success” stories. To do this I chose this random article I got from Google Alerts. I will be reproducing some paragraphs here with explanatory notes in red from me. I hope you enjoy it.

Business is down nearly everywhere, but inside The Psychic Eye readings are up 20 percent. (Desperate times call for desperate measure, no venue, regardless how improbable, will be left unexlpored)

At the location at Russell and Eastern (there are three other Psychic Eyes and several similar shops in Henderson and Las Vegas), a minimum of 60 (gullible) people come in each day seeking answers (getting none) and direction (to the nearest ATM, more readings will follow).

The store has plenty (none) of success stories. A few days ago, they tell me, a woman came in frantic about not being able to find her brother. With the help of a Tarot card reader, she was able to locate him within the hour (The reader had nothing to do with it at all, other than as someone to brainstorm with.The Tarot cards were useless!). Another hysterical lady came in while I was in the shop on the verge of tears after seeing a vision of her dead ex-husband. A tarot reader told her to breathe, led her behind a beaded curtain and thoroughly talked her through her troubles, likely for less than an hour at the shrink (But not for free, which is exactly how much a friend listening and calming you down would cost).

There are the popular Tarot readings (call in advance for an appointment) given by licensed readers (oxymoron) —it is illegal to give readings out of your house or to give readings without a license in the state of Nevada (I guess the state of Nevada really needs those license fees, nevertheless this claim sounds like made up BS to me!) . The readings are $20 for five minutes, $30 for a half hour and $50 for an hour.

The shop also hawks the healing powers of aromatherapy (there are none), in the form of candles and incense or bath salts and essential oils. The most calming and cleansing (I did not know that calming and cleansing was considered healing) fragrances are said to be lavender, patchouli, musk, sandalwood, amber and jasmine.

And The Psychic Eye blends various essential oils to produce special potions with names like Money Draw, Protection and Gamblers Lucky Play. What affect they have on the cards, dice or slots, we can’t say. (Sure you can, repeat after me, none whatsoever)

Different stones are used to balance different parts of your chakra (there is no such thing, thus there is nothing to balance) , or force center, with their energies (what the hell does that mean?). Amethyst calms fears, while quartz is cleansing (Wrong again!). The crystals are meant to be carried or worn as jewelry. Voodoo charms and talismans, engraved with occult designs, may bring (they can’t, they don’t) the wearer fertility, protection on journeys, or the power to incite lust (who doesn’t want this power?) or win a battle.

“We try to provide things in this store that you can’t find in any other store,” says Robert Leysen, the owner of all ten Psychic Eyes located in Vegas and California (but they don’t, this kind of crap can be found in any woo woo store)

These “things” include self-help books, Ouija Boards, Buddha statues, Samurai swords, and belly dancing chains. (and which of these can’t be found in any other store?)

“A lot of people practice witchcraft and are into Wiccan,” says Leyson, showing me some silver, etched objects. “They swing these pendulums to get answers. The general public would be surprised.” (we are… that people waste time swinging pendulums to get answers!)

I’m rather surprised myself, and the lessons keep on coming (must not have been paying attention to the last 200 years I guess!) . Steele explains to me how thoughts are things (penny for your thoughts was not meant to be taken literally you know?) , as the Japanese scientist Dr. Emoto claimed to prove in his experiments with words and water crystals.“What you believe, you make true for yourself,” she says with conviction. (No you don’t, R. Kelly believed he could fly!)

Well I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing it. See you next post!

4 Responses

[…] Skepfeeds-The Best Skeptical blogs of the day placed an observative post today on How to interpret psychic newsHere’s a quick excerptIt is a bit of a slow day for skeptical blogs so I decided to do a little experiment and show you how to read news about psychic “sucess” stories. To do this I chose this random article I got from Google Alerts. I will be reproducing some paragraphs here with explanatory notes in red from me. I hope you enjoy it. Business is down nearly everywhere, but inside The Psychic Eye readings are up 20 percent. (Desperate times call for desperate measure, no venue regardless how improbable will be […]

[…] Skepfeeds-The Best Skeptical blogs of the day put an intriguing blog post on How to interpret psychic newsHere’s a quick excerptIt is a bit of a slow day for skeptical blogs so I decided to do a little experiment and show you how to read news about psychic “sucess” stories. To do this I chose this random article I got from Google Alerts. I will be reproducing some paragraphs here with explanatory notes in red from me. I hope you enjoy it. Business is down nearly everywhere, but inside The Psychic Eye readings are up 20 percent. (Desperate times call for desperate measure, no venue regardless how improbable will be […]

[…] Skepfeeds-The Best Skeptical blogs of the day added an interesting post today on How to read psychic newsHere’s a small readingIt is a bit of a slow day for skeptical blogs so I decided to do a little experiment and show you how to read news about psychic “success” stories. To do this I chose this random article I got from Google Alerts. I will be reproducing some paragraphs here with explanatory notes in red from me. I hope you enjoy it. Business is down nearly everywhere, but inside The Psychic Eye readings are up 20 percent. (Desperate times call for desperate measure, no venue, regardless how improbable, will […]

Tarot card reading has already been done to death in the English language media. In a culture in which Tarot cards are exclusively seen as a divination tool, playing actual card games with Tarot decks is a superior act of non-conformity.

E-mail Policy excerpt

E-mails sent to the authors of this blog may be used as material for post entries at Skepfeeds, but the person’s contact e-mail address and name will not be made public on the blog, unless the e-mails take on a harassing nature in which case the full fury of the Skepfeeds community shall be unleashed upon the offender.