The life of an NBA entourage member is a hard one. Even though it may offer an otherwise unemployable sect of society the opportunity to live an exciting, fulfilling life vicariously through a pampered professional athlete, there is legitimate "work" to be done in order to maintain a prime spot in the posse pecking order.

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Radar showcased some of the more preposterous acts of personal servitude some of these professional hangers-on have subject themselves to and, not surprisingly, Ron Artest's requests are extremely demanding and imbecilic.

Crazy Sacramento Kings forward Ron Artest has a paid personal assistant who "fields late-night requests for organic cookies" and is developing Artest's line of athletic wear. The assistant was also (seriously) recently asked to "remove what Mr. Artest thought were giant snake eggs in his backyard." (They turned out to be mushrooms.)

You can almost smell the insanity, can't you? Although, "Giant snake eggs in his backyard" seems like it would be a perfect lyrical refrain from Junta-era Phish. (Ed. Note: Please no Phish references on Deadspin. Thank you.)