3

They LOVE scribbling on things - cover your sofas and hide the Sharpies!

4

There are meltdowns at mealtimes because your twoligan wants the PURPLE plate today, Mummy ... honestly, red tableware is just SO last week!

5

They can clear a low shelf with their bare arms in nano-seconds.

6

Never will you hear louder cries of 'ME do it, Mummy!' than when you're trying to put their shoes on. As they shove left shoe onto right foot, tongue poking out in fierce concentration, you give up on ever making your coffee date with friends in favour of teaching your toddler a lifetime skill ... sigh.

7

How can something as soft and squidgy as a two-year-old become so stiff and unwielding when it's time to get in the buggy? It's a scientific conundrum ...

8

They have TINY hands but boy, do they put them to good use. Step 1: Cover hands with paint / marker pen / mud. Step 2: Rampage through the house, touching all soft furnishings within reach. Step 3: Wait for mummy to discover your latest artisic endeavours. Our work here is done!

9

They march down the street singing loudly. Altogether now: 'The angels came to Mary ...'

10

They think nothing of stripping off all their clothes and streaking around the garden - regardless of weather, season or company.

11

They lie in the middle of supermarket aisles screaming loudly while fishing out a handful of dried frozen peas from underneath a (very) dusty unit. Can you get away with pretending they're not yours ..?

12

If they don't like their food, they don't like their food, regardless of who cooked it for them. Restaurant critics have nothing on these guys.

13

You just KNEW that silence was ominous. Turn your back for five minutes and they cause untold destruction. Like THIS!

14

Waking up the family pet by dripping juice / milk / water on them is TOO hilarious. And wrapping the poor creature in a hat and scarf combi is the icing on the cake ...

15

Speaking of food, they dribble when they drink, think nothing of sticking their grubby hands into the yoghurt pot and spit out food onto YOUR plate. Ain't life grand?

16

They have literally no concept of how to share or that they can't just grab whatever it is they want (another toddler's scooter, granny's biscuit, your boobs ...).

17

They will only walk UP the slide at the park - in the muddiest shoes ever, making you Ms Unpopular with the other mums who now have filthy children.

18

They have no patience and can't wait for anything.

19

They swear loudly in front of your parents / a prospective childminder - (granted, they are often just mispronouncing everyday words - for examples - see here!). What kind of parent ARE you?!

20

They delight in burping and farting loudly in public. With their fingers stuck firmly up their noses. And they genuinely think there's nothing funnier ...