Benvolio

Mercutio

Benvolio

Tybalt, old Lord Capulet's nephew, sent over a letter for Romeo this morning to his father’s house.

Mercutio

I’ll bet my life it’s a challenge to a duel.

Torments him so that he will sure run mad.

Benvolio

Tybalt, the kinsman of old Capulet,

Hath sent a letter to his father's house.

Mercutio

A challenge, on my life.

Benvolio

Romeo will answer it.

Mercutio

Any man that can write may answer a letter.

Benvolio

Nay, he will answer the letter's master; how he dares,

Benvolio

Romeo will answer it.

Mercutio

Anyone who can write can answer a letter.

Benvolio

I don’t mean answer the letter, I mean accept the challenge. Romeo’s brave when someone dares him to do something.

Mercutio

Alas, poor Romeo. He’s as good as dead, stabbed by a look from one of Rosaline’s dark eyes, shot through the ear with a love song, his heart split down the middle by one of Cupid’s arrows. Is this the guy who’s going to take on Tybalt?

being dared.

Mercutio

Alas poor Romeo! He is already dead; stabbed with

a white wench's black eye; shot through the ear with a

Alliteration

“white wench’s black eye”

[Click to see note.]

Alliteration

“white wench’s black eye”

Shakespeare describes Rosaline as "white wench," which creates alliteration on the W sound. Then, by giving that "white wench" a "black eye," he creates an antithesis, or pair of opposites: white and black.

Performance

Lines 12-16

[Click to launch video.]

love-song; the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind

bow-boy'sbutt-shaft. And is he a man to encounter

Tybalt?

Benvolio

Why, what is Tybalt?

Mercutio

More than prince of cats, I can tell you. O, he is the

courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing

prick-song; keeps time, distance, and proportion; rests me

Benvolio

What’s so special about Tybalt?

Mercutio

He’s special all right, just like Tybalt the Prince of Cats in the children’s fable. He’s a courageous stickler for etiquette. He duels according to a stylish pattern like one would sing a complicated song, keeping the rhythm and adding the rests where they are written down--one, and a two, and a three--and a thrust into your chest. An excellent duelist, a marvelous duelist. He could stab a button on his opponent’s shirt. He’s a graduate of the top school of fencing, you know. He can recite word for word the rules of etiquette regarding the specific reasons a challenge can be offered and accepted. Ah, yes, he’s a master of “immortal passado,” the “punto reverso,” the “hai.”

Benvolio

The what?

his minim rest, one, two, and the third in your bosom.

The very butcher of a silk button, a duellist, a duellist; a

Performance

Lines 18-24

[Click to launch video.]

gentleman of the very first house, of the first and second

cause. Ah, the immortal passado! The punto reverso! The hai!

Benvolio

The what?

Mercutio

The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting phantasims,

Performance

Lines 26-33

[Click to launch video.]

these new tuners of accents! 'By Jesu, a very good blade,

a very tall man, a very good whore.' Why, is not this a

lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted

Mercutio

A curse on such prancing, pretentious snobs! “By God, what a good blade, what a tall man, what a great prostitute!” Isn’t this sad, my old fellow, that we’re plagued with these eccentrics, these slaves to fashion, these men who constantly say “oh pardon me,” all these people who care so much about the new fads that they can’t comfortably relax without whining, “Oh, my bones, my bones!”

Benvolio

Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!

with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these

‘pardone-moi's’, who stand so much on the new form, that

they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? O, their bones,

their bones!

[Enter Romeo]

Benvolio

Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.

Mercutio

Without his roe, like a dried herring. Flesh, flesh,

how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers

that Petrarch flowed in. Laura to his lady was but

a kitchen-wench; marry — she had a better love to

be-rhyme her — Dido a dowdy; Cleopatra a gipsy; Helen

Mercutio

He only cries “Oh, me!” anymore so his name is missing the “Ro” as surely as the roe is gone from a dried herring missing its eggs. Oh, look, how flesh is fishified! Now he’s only fit for the kind of love verses Petrarch wrote. Petrarch’s love, Laura, was just a kitchen maid compared to Romeo’s lady, though she had a better poet to write about her. Compared to the great Rosaline, Queen Dido was frumpy, Cleopatra just an ugly Egyptian, Helen of Troy and Hero were good-for-nothing prostitutes. Thisbe was still pretty, but that’s neither here nor there. Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s a French greeting to go with your baggy French pants. You gave us the slip last night.

Romeo

Good morning to you both. What slip did I give you?

Mercutio

The slip, sir, the counterfeit. You don’t understand the reference?

and Hero hildings and harlots; Thisbe a grey eye or so,

but not to the purpose. Signior Romeo, bonjour;

there's a French salutation to your French slop. You gave

us the counterfeit fairly last night.

Romeo

Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?

Mercutio

The slip, sir, the slip — can you not conceive?

Romeo

Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great; and in

such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.

Mercutio

That's as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains

Romeo

Pardon me, good Mercutio, I had an important task, and in such cases it’s acceptable to push the bounds of politeness.

Mercutio

You might as well say a case such as yours forces someone to bow from the knees.

Romeo

You mean, to curtsy.

Mercutio

You have indeed got it.

Romeo

Well what a courteous explanation.

a man to bow in the hams.

Romeo

Meaning, to courtsy.

Mercutio

Thou hast most kindly hit it.

Romeo

A most courteous exposition.

Mercutio

Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.

Romeo

Pink for flower?

Mercutio

Mercutio

I am the pink flower, the very peak of courtesy.

Romeo

The pink flower.

Mercutio

Right.

Romeo

Why with all this pink, my pump will be well decorated.

Mercutio

Well said. You can follow me down this path of jokes until you’ve worn that pump and the joke out together. Now when the single sole of your shoe is worn out, the joke will remain.

Right.

Romeo

Why, then is my pump well flowered.

Mercutio

Well said. Follow me this jest now till thou hast worn

out thy pump, that when the single sole of it is worn,

the jest may remain after the wearing, solely singular.

Romeo

O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness.

Mercutio

Come between us, good Benvolio; my wits faint.

Romeo

Switch and spurs, switch and spurs; or I'll cry ‘a match’.

Mercutio

Romeo

Oh this joke is just silly, let’s not create more. Let’s leave it sole and singular.

Mercutio

Come between us, Benvolio, and stop the fight. My wits can’t take it any more.

Romeo

No, Mercutio, use your whip and spurs and gallop as fast as you can, or I’ll call the game over.

Mercutio

No, if you’re going to take your wits further in this wild goose chase, I’m done. There’s more wild-goose-chase spirit in a fraction of you than there is in all of me. There, does that phrase with the goose even out the battle of wits for you?

Romeo

You’re never with the goose, you always play the part of the goose.

Nay, if thy wits run the wild goose chase, I have done;

for thou hast more of the wild goose in one of thy wits than,

I am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for

the goose?

Romeo

Thou wast never with me for any thing when thou wast

not there for the goose.

Mercutio

I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.

Romeo

Nay, good goose, bite not.

Mercutio

Thy wit is a very bitter-sweeting; it is a most sharp sauce.

Romeo

Mercutio

I’ll bite you on the ear for that joke.

Romeo

No, good goose, don’t bite.

Mercutio

Your wit is quite a bitter apple, a very sharp-flavored sauce.

Romeo

A sharp sauce pairs well with a sweet goose, doesn’t it?

Mercutio

Oh that’s a nice leathery joke, that can stretch itself from its limited size into something very broad, haven’t we?

Romeo

I stretched my joke just for that word “broad.” Add it to that goose business and we’ve proved for the whole world you’re a fat goose.

And is it not well served into a sweet goose?

Mercutio

O here's a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow

to an ell broad!

Romeo

I stretch it out for that word 'broad’; which added to the

goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.

Mercutio

Why, is not this better now, than groaning for love? Now art

thou sociable, now art thou Romeo, now art thou what thou

art, by art as well as by nature; for this drivelling love is like

a great natural that runs, lolling, up and down to hide his

Mercutio

Hey, isn’t this joking better than sighing about love? Now you’re being social, and now this is the Romeo I know. Now you’re yourself again. After all, your love is like a great idiot, running around with its tongue out to hide a trinket in a hole.

Benvolio

Stop there, stop there.

Mercutio

You want me to stop my story before I’m ready.

Benvolio

You would have made your story really long otherwise.

bauble in a hole.

Benvolio

Stop there, stop there!

Mercutio

Thou desirest me to stop in my tale, against the hair.

Double Entendre

“stop in my tale, against the hair”

[Click to see note.]

Double Entendre

“stop in my tale, against the hair”

Literally, Mercutio accuses Benvolio of wanting him to stop his story, against his inclination. But "tale" is a term for the male genitalia. To "stop" in this case, would mean to stopper, or to plug, "against the hair," or the female genitalia.

Benvolio

Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.

Mercutio

O, thou art deceived; I would have made it short. For I was

come to the whole depth of my tale; and meant, indeed,

Double Entendre

“whole depth of my tale”

[Click to see note.]

Double Entendre

“whole depth of my tale”

Literally, Mercutio means something like, "I would have made my pronouncement short, because I had come to the end of it, and didn't intent to discuss the subject any longer. But in a bawdier sense, he's once again punning on the male genitalia, and sex as an "argument."

to occupy the argument no longer.

Romeo

Here's goodly gear!

[Enter Nurse and another servant, Peter]

Mercutio

Ah, you are mistaken. I would have made it short. For I’d reached the depth of the story and didn’t mean to remain there any longer.

Romeo

Here’s a good sight! A sail, a sail!

Mercutio

Two of them, a man and a woman.

Nurse

Peter!

Peter

Coming!

A sail, a sail!

Mercutio

Two, two; a shirt and a smock.

Nurse

Peter!

Peter

Anon!

Nurse

My fan, Peter.

Mercutio

Good Peter, to hide her face, for her fan's the fairer face.

Nurse

God ye good morrow, gentlemen.

Mercutio

Nurse

Give me my fan, Peter.

Mercutio

Peter, give her the fan to cover her face, for the fan’s more attractive than her face.

Nurse

Good morning, gentlemen.

Mercutio

Good afternoon, fair gentlewoman.

Nurse

Is it afternoon already?

Mercutio

No earlier, indeed, for the clock’s dirty hands are on the prick of noon.

God ye good e’en, fair gentlewoman.

Nurse

Is it good e’en?

Mercutio

'Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of the dial is

Double Entendre

"bawdy hand of the dial"

[Click to see note.]

Double Entendre

"bawdy hand of the dial"

The round dial represents the female genitalia, while "hand" is the male genitalia, standing erect at the 12 o'clock position.

now upon the prick of noon.

Nurse

Out upon you! What a man are you?

Romeo

One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, for himself to mar.

Allusion

“that God hath made, for himself to mar”

[Click to see note.]

Allusion

“that God hath made, for himself to mar”

This phrase alludes to both the Biblical idea of man being made in God's own image, and the proverbial expression "make or mar" (to make something better, or to destroy it). Mercutio means that he is a man that God made to harm others, but the Nurse misinterprets him, thinking Mercutio means that he is a man God made so that he, God, could harm him.

Nurse

By my troth, it is well said; 'for himself to mar,' quoth a'?

Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the

Nurse

Oh enough with that! What sort of man are you?

Romeo

A man that God made, just to ruin him.

Nurse

I declare, that’s well said, “to ruin himelf,” isn’t that a saying? Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young Romeo?

Romeo

I can tell you where Romeo is, but “young” Romeo will be a bit older when you find him than when you sought him out. I’m the young Romeo, for lack of a worse name.

Nurse

You speak well.

young Romeo?

Romeo

I can tell you; but young Romeo will be older when

you have found him than he was when you sought him.

Language

“young” and “youngest”

[Click to see note.]

Language

“young” and “youngest”

Romeo teases the Nurse for referring to him as the "young" Romeo. He acknowledges being "young" Romeo for lack of a worse adjective, thus inverting the normal phrase, "for fault (lack) of a better".

I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.

Nurse

You say well.

Mercutio

Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i' faith, wisely, wisely.

Nurse

If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.

Language

“confidence” and “indite”

[Click to see note.]

Language

“confidence” and “indite”

The nurse, who is not the most educated person in the world, commits a malapropism here. She uses the wrong word, but one that sounds like the word she intended. What the Nurse meant to say was, "I desire some conference with you," meaning she wants to speak to Romeo. Benvolio makes fun of her by intentionally committing another malapropism: he says that the nurse is going to "indite" Romeo to supper" instead of "invite" him.

Benvolio

Mercutio

Yeah, is “the worst” well? Very well put by you, I say, very wise of you, very wise.

Nurse

If you are him, sir, I’d like a private word with you.

Benvolio

She will “indite” him to some supper.

Mercutio

A madam! A hare! I figured it out!

Romeo

What are you on about now?

Mercutio

I haven’t found a prostitute, unless she’s disguising herself by being ugly.

She will indite him to some supper.

Mercutio

A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! Soho!

Romeo

What hast thou found?

Mercutio

No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten pie, that is

something stale and hoar ere it be spent.

[Sings]

An old hare hoar, and an old hare hoar,

Is very good meat in lent;

But a hare that is hoar is too much for a score,

When it hoars ere it be spent.

Mercutio

[Sings]

An old rabbit, and an old rabbit,

Is good to eat during Lent

But a rabbit that is so old that it’s rotten

Is not worth the money.

Romeo, will you come to your father's? We'll eat dinner there.

Romeo

I will follow you.

Mercutio

Farewell, ancient lady, farewell.

[Singing]

'Lady, lady, lady.'

Romeo, will you come to your father's? We'll to dinner thither.

Romeo

I will follow you.

Mercutio

Farewell, ancient lady; farewell.

[Singing]

Lady, lady, lady.

[Exeunt Mercutio and Benvolio]

Nurse

Marry, farewell! I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was

this, that was so full of his ropery?

Romeo

A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himself talk, and will

speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.

Nurse

Nurse

Goodbye! Excuse me, sir, who was that rude man who spoke like such a rogue?

Romeo

A gentleman who loves to hear himself talk. He’ll say more in a minute than he’ll defend in a month.

Nurse

If he says anything against me, I'll bring him down, even if he were more arrogant than he is, and accompanied by twenty other rascals just like him. And if I can’t do it, I'll find someone that can. Bastard! I’m not one of his floozies. [To Peter] And you just stand by, too, while every rascal uses me for his pleasure?

An a speak any thing against me, I'll take him down, an a

were lustier than he is, and twenty such jacks; and if I

cannot, I'll find those that shall. Scurvy knave! I am none

of his flirt-gills; I am none of his skains-mates.

[To Peter]

And thou must stand by too, and suffer every

knave to use me at his pleasure?

Peter

I saw no man use you at his pleasure. If I had, my weapon

should quickly have been out, I warrant you. I dare draw as

soon as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel,

and the law on my side.

Nurse

Now, afore God, I am so vexed, that every part about

me quivers. Scurvy knave! [To Romeo] Pray you, sir,

Double Entendre

“quiver”

[Click to see note.]

Double Entendre

“quiver”

Here we have yet another inadvertent innuendo by the Nurse. She means that Mercutio has made her so angry that she's shaking. But a “quivering” woman has a sexual connotation.

a word. And as I told you, my young lady bade me

Peter

I haven’t seen anyone using you for their pleasure. If I had, I would have drawn my sword. I guarantee you, I dare to draw my weapon as soon as another man, if I find myself in a good quarrel, and the law is on my side.

Nurse

Now, I swear before God, I am so irritated that every part of me is shaking. That bastard! [To Romeo] I beg a word with you, sir, a word. As I told you, my young mistress asked me to find you. But first let me tell you, if you have bad intentions, it would be terrible behavior to pursue her. For my lady is young, and if you deceive her, you’re truly a poor choice for any woman.

inquire you out. What she bade me say, I will keep to

myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into

a fool's paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind

of behavior, as they say. For the gentlewoman is young;

and therefore if you should deal double with her,

truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any

gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.

Romeo

Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I protest

unto thee —

Nurse

Good heart, and, i' faith, I will tell her as much. Lord, Lord,

she will be a joyful woman.

Romeo

Romeo

Nurse, pay my respects to your lady and mistress. I swear to you--

Nurse

Goodness gracious, I will tell her exactly that. My lord, she’ll be so happy.

Romeo

What are you going to tell her? You’re not paying any attention to what I’m saying.

Nurse

I’ll tell her, sir, that you swear before God, which as I take it, coming from a gentleman like you, can mean nothing else but an offer of marriage.

Romeo

Ask her to make up some excuse to come make confession this afternoon at Friar Laurence’s. There she’ll have her sins absolved, and be married. Here’s something for your trouble.

What wilt thou tell her, nurse? Thou dost not markthither.

Nurse

I will tell her, sir, that you do protest; which, as I take it,

is a gentlemanlike offer.

Romeo

Bid her devise some means to come to shrift this afternoon;

And there she shall at Friar Laurence' cell be shrived

and married. Here is for thy pains.

Nurse

No truly sir; not a penny.

Romeo

Go to; I say you shall.

Nurse

This afternoon, sir? Well, she shall be there.

Romeo

And stay, good nurse, behind the abbey wall.

Nurse

No, truly sir, I couldn’t take a penny.

Romeo

No, I insist.

Nurse

This afternoon, sir? She’ll be there.

Romeo

And wait behind the abbey wall, good nurse. I’ll send someone to meet you there within an hour. He’ll bring a homemade rope-ladder that I’ll climb to Juliet’s room like a sailor climbing ship’s rigging in the night. Farewell, be discreet, and I’ll reward you for your trouble. Goodbye, tell Juliet I’m thinking of her.

Within this hour my man shall be with thee

And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair;

Which to the high top-gallant of my joy

Must be my convoy in the secret night.

Word Nerd

"convoy"

[Click to launch video.]

Farewell; be trusty, and I'll quit thy pains.

Farewell; commend me to thy mistress.

Nurse

Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.

Romeo

What sayest thou, my dear nurse?

Nurse

Is your man secret? Did you ne'er hear say,

Two may keep counsel, putting one away?

Allusion

“Two may keep counsel, putting one away.”

[Click to see note.]

Allusion

“Two may keep counsel, putting one away.”

This proverbial phrase means two people can keep a secret, if one of them is killed.

Romeo

I warrant thee, my man's as true as steel.

Nurse

Nurse

God in heaven bless you! Hold on a moment, sir.

Romeo

What is it, dear nurse?

Nurse

Can your servant keep a secret? You know what they say: "two can keep a secret well when the third is away."

Romeo

I guarantee, my servant’s as solid as steel.

Nurse

Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady--oh Lord, when she was a little babbling thing! Oh, you know there is a nobleman in town called Paris that is eager to claim her as his own, but bless her, she’d sooner look at a toad than at him. I make her angry sometimes when I tell her Paris is the more eligible man, but I’ll guarantee that when I say so she looks as pale as any pale thing in the universe.

Well, sir; my mistress is the sweetest lady. Lord, Lord,

when 'twas a little prating thing — O there is a nobleman

in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard;

Double Entendre

“lay knife aboard”

[Click to see note.]

Double Entendre

“lay knife aboard”

This phrase refers to an old custom. When eating at a common table in a pub or inn, you place your personal knife on the table to claim your spot for the meal. But the Nurse is yet again making another unintentional sexual innuendo here: Paris would happily "board" Juliet with his "knife."

but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad,

as see him. I anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris

is the properer man; but, I'll warrant you, when I say so,

she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world.

Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter?

Romeo

Ay, nurse; what of that? Both with an ‘R’.

Nurse

Ah, mocker, that's the dog's name; ‘R’ is for the — No, I know

it begins with some other letter; and she hath the prettiest

sententious of it, of you and rosemary, that it would do you

Language

“sententious”

[Click to see note.]

Language

“sententious”

The Nurse really means that Juliet makes pretty sentences with the with the words Romeo and rosemary, the fragrant plant. But instead of "sentences," she says "sententious” (another malapropism), which is an adjective meaning pithy, or full of meaning.

good to hear it.

Romeo

(Nurse)

Say, don’t “rosemary”and “Romeo” start with the same letter?

Romeo

Yes, nurse, what about it? They both start with “r”.

Nurse

Oh you mock me! That’s the dog’s name, “arrr.” No, it must be some other letter. Juliet said a lovely thing about it--you and rosemary. You’d be delighted to hear it.