In addition to general critique I'm looking for suggestions as to parts I can trim down or cut out, since I know I'm verbose and that's a real problem on this site.

I'm also looking for technical support: I have a file uploaded I'd like to use as a headline image, but I can't set up the damn formatting correctly.
If you know how to work that magic then please, you have my permission to jump right in and smear whatever chicken blood and peacock feathers you need to appease Wikidot.

And please, please, don't pull punches, I can take it.
I'm not a Tumblr user.

If this were a draft about a Foundation that was clearly and explicitly conservative and behind the times on this "social media" thing that kids on the internet are talking about or whatever, this draft would have some legs to stand on. But it's not.

I mean, for one, this concept is already (vaguely) explored in SCP-3312 which is still good-natured about it and, this is important, written by someone with experience in the culture being written about. If you don't use Tumblr, then how are you gonna write the successful satire on it that you want? There's a whole lot wrong with this draft in my opinion, but I think starting out here is a good start to it.

I already said I knew I was gonna have to remove explicit mentions to tumblr.

I truly don't get the point about knowing the community - the object in the article is a compulsion that drives you beyond the general behaviour of the types alluded to. That axiomatically means the actual furry community does not relate.

The one thing you said that stumped me was introducing me to -3312.
Damn. This one's out the window until I can think of how to rework the concept without furries.