Atheist Nexus2015-08-02T19:55:33ZGrace Fitzpatrickhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/GraceFitzpatrickhttp://api.ning.com:80/files/ii1Pb9cjH75fV5h3lM9WcUlElzFhV9UoQznolRIkIGsvMVLI9PSWfZpJM7m1ugIa5zWydPuzhz-5mSi63CxZww__/wecomeinpeace.jpg?width=48&height=48&crop=1%3A1http://atheistnexus.org/group/recoveringreligionists/forum/topic/listForContributor?user=3urofjwzov3ud&feed=yes&xn_auth=noReligious Trauma Syndrome (RTS)tag:atheistnexus.org,2015-06-09:2182797:Topic:26100762015-06-09T01:22:32.667ZGrace Fitzpatrickhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/GraceFitzpatrick
<p><strong>This is a good website for help in recovering from religion</strong></p>
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<p><strong><a href="http://journeyfree.org/rts/">http://journeyfree.org/rts/</a></strong></p>
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<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Symptoms of Religious Trauma Syndrome:</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">• <strong>Cognitive:</strong> Confusion, poor critical thinking ability, negative beliefs about self-ability &amp; self-worth, black &amp; white thinking, perfectionism,…</p>
<p><strong>This is a good website for help in recovering from religion</strong></p>
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<p><strong><a href="http://journeyfree.org/rts/">http://journeyfree.org/rts/</a></strong></p>
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<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Symptoms of Religious Trauma Syndrome:</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;">• <strong>Cognitive:</strong> Confusion, poor critical thinking ability, negative beliefs about self-ability &amp; self-worth, black &amp; white thinking, perfectionism, difficulty with decision-making</p>
<p><strong>• Emotional:</strong> Depression, anxiety, anger, grief, loneliness, difficulty with pleasure, loss of meaning</p>
<p><strong>• Social:</strong> Loss of social network, family rupture, social awkwardness, sexual difficulty, behind schedule on developmental tasks</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>• Cultural:</strong> Unfamiliarity with secular world; “fish out of water” feelings, difficulty belonging, information gaps (e.g. evolution, modern art, music)</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Causes of Religious Trauma Syndrome:</strong></p>
<p>Authoritarianism coupled with toxic theology which is received and reinforced at church, school, and home results in:</p>
<p>• <strong>Suppression of normal child development</strong> - cognitive, social, emotional, moral stages are arrested</p>
<p>• <strong>Damage to normal thinking and feeling abilities -information is limited and controlled;</strong> dysfunctional beliefs taught; independent thinking condemned; feelings condemned</p>
<p>• <strong>External locus of control – knowledge is revealed, not discovered;</strong> hierarchy of authority enforced; self not a reliable or good source</p>
<p>• <strong>Physical and sexual abuse – patriarchal power;</strong> unhealthy sexual views; punishment used as for discipline</p>
<blockquote><p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Cycle of Abuse</strong></p>
<p>The doctrines of original sin and eternal damnation cause the most psychological distress by creating the ultimate double bind. You are guilty and responsible, and face eternal punishment. Yet you have no ability to do anything about it.</p>
<p>You must conform to a mental test of “believing” in an external, unseen source for salvation, and maintain this state of belief until death. You cannot ever stop sinning altogether, so you must continue to confess and be forgiven, hoping that you have met the criteria despite complete lack of feedback about whether you will actually make it to heaven.</p>
<p>Salvation is not a free gift after all.</p>
<p>For the sincere believer, this results in an unending cycle of shame and relief. It is a cycle of abuse. As one believer said,</p>
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<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>What’s the problem?</strong></p>
<p>We have in our society an assumption that religion is for the most part benign or good for you. Therapists, like others, expect that if you stop believing, you just quit going to church, putting it in the same category as not believing in Santa Claus. Some people also consider religious beliefs childish, so you just grow out of them, simple as that. Therapists often don’t understand fundamentalism, and they even recommend spiritual practices as part of therapy. In general, people who have not survived an authoritarian fundamentalist indoctrination do not realize what a complete mind-rape it really is.</p>
<p>In the United States, we also treasure our bill of rights, our freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, and freedom of religion. This makes it extremely difficult to address a debilitating disorder like RTS without threatening the majority of Americans. Raising questions about toxic beliefs and abusive practices in religion seems to be violating a taboo. No one wants to be pointing fingers for fear of tampering with our precious freedoms. For therapists who don’t get it, parents who merely force church attendance aren’t exactly axe-murderers.</p>
<p>But this is the problem. Sanitizing religion makes it all the more insidious when it is toxic. For example, small children are biologically dependent on their adult caretakers; built into their survival mechanisms is a need to trust authority just to stay alive. Religious teachings take hold easily in their underdeveloped brains while the adults conveniently keep control. This continues generation after generation, as the religious meme complex reproduces itself, and masses of believers learn to value self-loathing and fear apocalypse.</p>
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<a href="http://journeyfree.org/rts/">http://journeyfree.org/rts/</a> In what way are you still recovering from being brought up religious?tag:atheistnexus.org,2014-05-19:2182797:Topic:24254732014-05-19T15:27:28.966ZGrace Fitzpatrickhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/GraceFitzpatrick
<p>I was brought up in a fundamentalist family.</p>
<p>Anyone still dealing with any issues from religion?</p>
<p>Do you fear the result of coming out Atheist to your family?</p>
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<p>Any thoughts are welcome.</p>
<p>I was brought up in a fundamentalist family.</p>
<p>Anyone still dealing with any issues from religion?</p>
<p>Do you fear the result of coming out Atheist to your family?</p>
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<p>Any thoughts are welcome.</p> Catholic Family / Atheist Wedding - HELPtag:atheistnexus.org,2013-09-01:2182797:Topic:22944472013-09-01T14:14:20.025ZGrace Fitzpatrickhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/GraceFitzpatrick
Any one else out there still recovering from Catholic guilt??<br />
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I come from an extremely Catholic family/upbringing. In 6 days I will be the first person in my entire extended family not to marry a Catholic in a Catholic Church.<br />
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My biggest source of stress and apprehension going into my wedding is worry over how my family will react.<br />
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It was bad enough explaining that I wanted to get married in an art gallery. (My mother told me it 'broke her heart.') But, worse, the wording of my ceremony…
Any one else out there still recovering from Catholic guilt??<br />
<br />
I come from an extremely Catholic family/upbringing. In 6 days I will be the first person in my entire extended family not to marry a Catholic in a Catholic Church.<br />
<br />
My biggest source of stress and apprehension going into my wedding is worry over how my family will react.<br />
<br />
It was bad enough explaining that I wanted to get married in an art gallery. (My mother told me it 'broke her heart.') But, worse, the wording of my ceremony contains not one mention of God or spirituality. Of course, this is what my fiance and I wanted. (When the officiant first sent me the script for the ceremony it was so touching, I cried.) But because I am not openly atheist among my family, I'm now worried this will 'out' me on the day I'm probably least prepared to deal with it.<br />
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Should I have faked religiosity on my wedding day just to avoid conflict? No, obviously.<br />
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But I am curious: How have you (former Catholics especially) come out to your families? How do you approach major events and holidays that are so directly centered around religion? How can you stick to your guns, so to speak, without unnecessarily hurting your loved ones?<br />
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Looking for words of advice and support.<br />
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Megan "Thief in the Night"tag:atheistnexus.org,2013-08-17:2182797:Topic:22878362013-08-17T16:06:49.497ZGrace Fitzpatrickhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/GraceFitzpatrick
<p>Last night I was reading Seth Andrew's book, <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Deconverted,</span> and I almost fell out of my chair when he discussed being forced to watch the end times film from the 1970's call "A Thief in the Night." He described some of the scenes, and I had a visceral reaction. I was also forced to watch this film, and it terrified me! My first blog post ever was actually about the trauma of begin forced to watch this film as a child. I ran to my neighbor's…</p>
<p>Last night I was reading Seth Andrew's book, <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Deconverted,</span> and I almost fell out of my chair when he discussed being forced to watch the end times film from the 1970's call "A Thief in the Night." He described some of the scenes, and I had a visceral reaction. I was also forced to watch this film, and it terrified me! My first blog post ever was actually about the trauma of begin forced to watch this film as a child. I ran to my neighbor's house and begged her to accept christ because if she didn't she would get her head chopped off and go to hell. I was genuinely terrified that my buddy was going to be tortured for eternity. Her parents informed me that we could not play together anymore. Good for them? I was devastated of course. I ran in to my parents room any time I woke up in the middle of the night, fearing that they were "raptured." </p>
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<p>I have often shared information about this film to others in a joking fashion. Seth's book describes some details, including the words of the some, "I wish we'd all been ready." I read those words and fully felt the fight/flight response. I'm a clinical psychologist, and I know what that means.</p>
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<p>How many readers were forced to watch this film?</p> Atheist Running for Public Office!tag:atheistnexus.org,2013-08-11:2182797:Topic:22848592013-08-11T03:58:46.713ZGrace Fitzpatrickhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/GraceFitzpatrick
In what city/state will that future headline most likely run? And what office would be most likely for an open atheist to successfully win?
In what city/state will that future headline most likely run? And what office would be most likely for an open atheist to successfully win? Maintaining family tiestag:atheistnexus.org,2013-02-17:2182797:Topic:21659752013-02-17T18:32:21.940ZGrace Fitzpatrickhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/GraceFitzpatrick
<p>I was adopted into a fundamentalist Seventh Day Adventist pastor's family. My parents loved me and I enjoyed a happy and secure childhood. Although I felt disappointed that I couldn't take dancing lessons, be involved with local theater or participate in competitive secular activities on Saturdays within the community (gymnastics, piano recitals), I was convinced that "the Sabbath" was sacred and that was just part of the consequences of following the truth. My Adventist church school…</p>
<p>I was adopted into a fundamentalist Seventh Day Adventist pastor's family. My parents loved me and I enjoyed a happy and secure childhood. Although I felt disappointed that I couldn't take dancing lessons, be involved with local theater or participate in competitive secular activities on Saturdays within the community (gymnastics, piano recitals), I was convinced that "the Sabbath" was sacred and that was just part of the consequences of following the truth. My Adventist church school experience provided me with plenty of social opportunities that were acceptable within our culture.</p>
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<p>Leaving that subculture was incredibly difficult. I've had to restart my life in so many aspects, in my 40's. Several years out now, I feel like I've processed through the stages of grief for the most part, including the anger that has surfaced over the fact that I was not allowed to develop huge aspects of my talents/interests from a young age.</p>
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<p>I know that my parents did the best they could. They honestly adored me and raised me the way they thought was right. They still fully believe Adventism is The Truth. </p>
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<p>My problem now is that I just don't feel like I have much in common with them anymore. I'm constantly editing aspects of my life so as not to upset them. (They're in their early eighties.) We can't discuss politics, they disapprove of public education, dancing, popular music, theater, wine, etc. - so much of what our life centers around now. We don't live near them (a good thing in many ways), so not only do we have very little in common, we don't have current shared experiences - only a past steeped in the distinctive traditions of the cult they are active members of.</p>
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<p>I don't expect them to live more than another few years, and I don't want to regret not having had a closer relationship with them at the end of their lives, nor do I want to hurt them anymore than I already have, by leaving their church. That has been extremely painful for them and they pray for me daily. Still - how do I rush my recovery from religion? How do I maintain more than a surface relationship with them? How do I find common ground on which to keep any flame alive? Honestly, it's so much more comfortable for me to have little communication with them anymore, since I no longer see them as a source of wisdom, but I want to do the right thing.</p>
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<p>To make matters more complicated, I've met my biological family as an adult and have so much more in common with them (They're Unitarian).</p> Finally freetag:atheistnexus.org,2013-01-09:2182797:Topic:21397522013-01-09T00:49:34.397ZGrace Fitzpatrickhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/GraceFitzpatrick
<p>Hi,</p>
<p> I am finally free of religion and of god. I just got the official paperwork that says I am no longer a member of my former church. I feel so free. I see what religion does to people. People in my former church used to say that they loved me and would always be there for me no matter what. Since I left the church, these people have not talked to me. If this is an example of god's love forget it.</p>
<p>Hi,</p>
<p> I am finally free of religion and of god. I just got the official paperwork that says I am no longer a member of my former church. I feel so free. I see what religion does to people. People in my former church used to say that they loved me and would always be there for me no matter what. Since I left the church, these people have not talked to me. If this is an example of god's love forget it.</p> Origin of Draping Garland on Christmas Trees?tag:atheistnexus.org,2012-12-13:2182797:Topic:21219452012-12-13T16:14:32.927ZGrace Fitzpatrickhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/GraceFitzpatrick
<p>Can anyone confirm or deny this notion I have about the tradition of placing garland around trees around Christmas and Yule? Somewhere, somehow I picked up this idea that in pre-Christian Europe the entrails of one’s vanquished enemies where draped over trees. I can’t remember how I came across this idea, but in the years following I have not been able to find any reference to it. Is this just a product of my morose imagination or is there some truth? Is there a source out there?</p>
<p>Can anyone confirm or deny this notion I have about the tradition of placing garland around trees around Christmas and Yule? Somewhere, somehow I picked up this idea that in pre-Christian Europe the entrails of one’s vanquished enemies where draped over trees. I can’t remember how I came across this idea, but in the years following I have not been able to find any reference to it. Is this just a product of my morose imagination or is there some truth? Is there a source out there?</p> Alcohol, Drugs, and Born Again Christianitytag:atheistnexus.org,2012-09-18:2182797:Topic:20559382012-09-18T20:29:51.037ZGrace Fitzpatrickhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/GraceFitzpatrick
<p>Alcohol, Drugs, and Born Again Christianity</p>
<p>I reflect on the recent outreach efforts of a Born Again Church. I also reflect on a BBQ put on the next day in exactly the same spot by a group of alcoholic derelicts which turned into a drunken melee. About the first, they had everyone holding hands and calling out the name of the idol on cue. About the second, there was a huge quantity of both beer and hard liquor, and it turned violent. It was the same people at both…</p>
<p>Alcohol, Drugs, and Born Again Christianity</p>
<p>I reflect on the recent outreach efforts of a Born Again Church. I also reflect on a BBQ put on the next day in exactly the same spot by a group of alcoholic derelicts which turned into a drunken melee. About the first, they had everyone holding hands and calling out the name of the idol on cue. About the second, there was a huge quantity of both beer and hard liquor, and it turned violent. It was the same people at both events.</p>
<p>With the Born Again Church a very high percentage of their congregation have serious histories with drugs, alcohol, and domestic violence. To listen to them talk it sounds like such things are never far behind, but that was until they got Saved. They talk about how "Jesus is coming for his own, but there is still time for more people to get Saved". "Jesus says we're supposed to talk about it. I wouldn't want to be waiting in the line for heaven with all of my friends in the *other* line saying, 'Why didn't you tell us?'" They explain how, "God has placed dinosaur bones on this earth in order to test our faith." They have weekly classes on Biblical Prophecy, meaning that they look to the Bible for predictions of the future.</p>
<p>One woman was visiting her daughter in the hospital due to respiratory complications resulting from decades of drug use. Some were saying, "Write her off, she's a drug addict, she's as old as I am." I was angered by this and so I sent to the mother, "I commend you for standing with your daughter." What came back was, "If I didn't, Satan would have his way with her." Where as I had felt good about this mother being at her daughter's bedside, now I did not. Later the mother explained to me of the whole episode, "Well she really didn't get the help she needed." I learned that by this she meant a psychiatric hospital.</p>
<p>Every one of their families seems to have its Black Sheep, someone designated from an early age as the scape goat. Usually this means alcohol and drugs. If the Black Sheep is female, then it also means sex. Its whatever it takes to justify the idea that the Black Sheep is other. Then when the Black Sheep gets their throat cut and dies in a back alley somewhere they say, "He/she had stepped forwards many times in order to be cured of his/her addictions. At this point I have to wonder whether he/she was really Saved or not."</p>
<p>With the alcoholics most of the women are kept hoped up with psychiatric medication. It makes it easier for the authorities to deal with them. If they didn't do this, then our society would have to deal with what is under the surface, which most likely is going to be familial sexual abuse. Besides, the women accept the medication so that they can get disability money. Medication, plus Born Again Christianity, makes them easier to handle and it keeps ugly truths hidden.</p>
<p>The BBQ quickly turned into a taunting of parks workers and police. Police found the huge cash of beer cans, but they couldn't do anything about it because none of the cans were opened. This only egged them on. Soon strangers were being knocked off of bicycles. The woman who had shelled out for most of the food and all of the beer got punched in the face with a closed fist and fell to the ground.</p>
<p>At the Born Again Church they want prayer in the public schools, lower taxes, smaller government, school vouchers, and the end of social programs.</p>
<p>The alcoholics all profess belief in the self-reliance ethic and a harsh criminal justice system. They say, "If you can't do the time, don't do the crime." They cite individual choice as the source of all problems.</p>
<p>I'm not seeing much difference between alcohol and drugs, and Born Again Christianity. Its the same people who subscribe to both. Its just that they play different roles with regards to them. They serve as two poles for people to oscillate back and forth between. So you cannot get people to stop drinking by preaching Born Again Christianity. Its not that much different from drinking.</p>
<p>What we should instead be doing is getting people to renounce Born Again Christianity. When someone can make an informed and conscientious rejection of Born Again Christianity this means that they have already rejected alcohol and drugs, because they have rejected the group identity, approval seeking, fatalism, and escapism which underlie them.</p>
<p>Jesus Camp <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHh_ZYw_YxI">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHh_ZYw_YxI</a></p>
<p>-- Becoming Other Exploited Children United, new portal page: <a href="http://theexploitedunited.onlinewebshop.net">http://theexploitedunited.onlinewebshop.net</a></p>
<p>Layla <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPu3wtPKehY">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPu3wtPKehY</a></p> Walking Awaytag:atheistnexus.org,2012-08-23:2182797:Topic:20359442012-08-23T20:00:38.411ZGrace Fitzpatrickhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/GraceFitzpatrick
<p>I'm guessing many here walked away from one religion or another. What religion did you walk away from? Did you look at other religions, if so what ones? What made you settle on Atheism?</p>
<p>I'm guessing many here walked away from one religion or another. What religion did you walk away from? Did you look at other religions, if so what ones? What made you settle on Atheism?</p>