Robert Minch: Go State!

Readers might consider attending the "Lighting of The Blade" ceremony at the State Theatre for the Performing Arts tomorrow evening, which has nothing to do with switchblade knives. The powers that be anticipate having music 7:30-8:30 p.m. by the John Gonsalves jazz group, with appetizers provided by Rolling Hills Casino. At 8:30 they will invite folks to be seated in the auditorium where a couple of lackeys will update the group on the State of the State.

At approximately 9, all will adjourn to the street and light up the blade for the very first time.

Better check it out.

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The Chico Paper, the Enterprise-Record, printed a startling editorial last Sunday. It was headed, "Nobody in Congress should be re-elected" and continued "Usually in this space, at this time of year, we tell you who to vote for in the election. Not today. Instead we are telling you who not to vote for. This year, more than any other, do not vote for any incumbent running for Congress. We need to clean house (or more specifically the House and Senate) and the only way to do that is by convincing our leaders in Washington that their performance is unacceptable. The beauty of a democracy is that we can fire our leaders. Unfortunately we don't do so often enough."

What do you think of that? Does the editor's edict go too far? I assume this to be the work of the editor but the editorial was unsigned. D. Little is listed as editor, so he gets the credit or the blame.

I did not vote in the last election for President because it appeared to me that neither the incumbent nor the challenger was going to right our ship of state. However, if the ballot had stated that by putting an X in a box labeled "throw the baggage out," I would have given the matter serious thought as to the consequences of such action. And yet, today, it appears the time has come for such a dramatic gesture. It may be only a gesture because the new crop may not germinate into a more active Congress?but it might be worth a try. I speak only of the state and federal level. Our local crop appears, with the exception of Measure A, trying to work out issues regardless of party affiliation.

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In last week's column, two paragraphs were omitted, ostensibly for space and format. Here's one of them:

The caustic wit at work: "Fish swim, birds fly, students protest. Anyone who has been 20 years old surely recalls the fierce clarity of a college student's mind. The sharp steel of a whetted education, undulled by the nicks and scrapes of experience, makes for the sort of slashing brilliance that breeds innovators and artists?and revolutionaries. But are they better at challenging values than maintaining them?" David Von Drehle

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We recently read, with great regret, the passing of the indefatigable Una Jordan. A more civic minded booster and doer you could not find. Because of her achievements, she was named Grand Marshall of the Red Bluff Round-Up parade last year. However, those slated be so named in the future might consider that if they accept the accolade, statistics indicate they might not live long thereafter. Tsk,tsk.

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Last week in Bali, Hindu followers celebrated the rite of "Galungan" in which they honored the creator of the universe as well as the spirit of their ancestors. A photo in the DN depicted a functionary distributing holy water to a crowd of eager participants, by pouring same over their hands via a bucket. This appears to be a practical way to get the job done without the pourer being trampled?and time saving as well. Religious anointers in the U.S., regardless of denomination, please take note.

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Last week's quiz was answered correctly by many such as L. Brown and N. Rick. Dopey was the only one of the 7 Dwarfs who was beardless, the Deusenberg brothers were August and Frederick? and some pianos have up to 102 keys.

This week's quiz: Name the 7 Dwarfs, name the Dione Quintuplets?and did the father exclaim "Oy vey" when they were delivered?

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A Minnesota farmer named Ollie had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Company's hot- shot attorney questioned him thus: "Didn't you say to the State Trooper at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine?"

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "Just answer the question?did you say you were fine?"

Ollie said, "Vell I yust got Bessie into da trailer, an?"

The lawyer interrupted again saying he didn't want details he just wanted Ollie to admit that he said he was fine after the accident, because now, long after the collision, Ollie was trying to sue the Eversweet Company for injuries he suffered in the accident?and would the judge instruct the plaintiff to just answer the question. However the judge said he wanted to hear the full story and told Ollie to continue.

Ollie said, "Tank you" and continued. "Vell, as I vas saying, I had yust loaded Bessie into the trailer when dis huge truck hit me trailer by golly and we was thrown in to da ditch. By yinminy yahosaphat, I was hurt pretty bad and could hardly move an I heard old Bessie moaning and groaning. Soon a policeman on a motorbike comes by and he could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, an he goes over and looks at her and sees her condition and he shoots her right between the eyes. Den da policeman comes over to me, gun still in hand, looks at me and says, 'How are you feelin'?' Now vat the hell, judge, vud you say to that?"

Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red Bluff, former columnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the "The Knocking Pen." He can be reached at rminchandmurray@hotmail.com.