A Latina’s guide to dealing with life in the new Arizona

One Mexican-American’s advice to anyone traveling through Arizona: Don’t play Alejandro Fernández CDs.

Texas on the Potomac regularly publishes some of the best work of the top columnists from Hearst Newspapers. Today, we feature a commentary by Maria Anglin from the San Antonio Express-News.

I’m an American, but thanks to the Greatest Generation and all those guys Tom Hanks salutes on HBO, I’ve never had to carry papers to prove it.

Now Arizona goes and throws a spanner in the works. What if, during a visit with friends in Tucson, a Grand Canyon excursion, or a day trip to buy turquoise baubles in Sedona, I arouse reasonable suspicion that I’m the wrong kind of Mexican? It’s not that I think I’ll end up stuck in Nogales for life, but having to prove you’re American seems, well, un-American.

So I came up with a better-safe-than-sorry list we Americans of the Mexican persuasion might keep in mind when traveling to the Grand Canyon State, just so they know we’re with ’em and not against ’em:

Don’t forget your passport. And drivers’ license. And Social Security card. I know, it’s not Eastern Europe, you’re not driving and you’re not applying for jobs Arizonans could have, either. But better safe than sorry, no?

When in Scottsdale, Luis is pronounced like Lewis, not Loo-ees. If you’re last name is Cruz, just say it Cruise, like Tom. Don’t roll your r’s or push a tilde. This is not the time to trot out the correct pronunciation of Ocotillo, Estrella or Mesa. Heck, that’s just being defiant.

In fact, it’s best to leave the Spanish accent &#151 and the Spanish &#151 at home. This is a biggie. Sure, Americans have all sorts of accents: Cajun cadence, New Englandy lilt, the Wild West twang.

That’s OK; they’re not you.

It’s not fair but, unless you’re fair-skinned you better say “sure!” instead of “chure!” when the nice man asks you for your birth certificate. Don’t even think about switching to Spanish when talking to any elder relatives or, worse, toggling between English and Spanish to chitchat with the kids.

Anyone choosing to speak Spanish when they have the skills to talk good English is one big green, white and red flag with an snake-eating eagle on it.

Don’t listen to Alejandro Fernández CDs. Anything that might make you stand out culturally raises eyebrows. Entrees in the chimichanga realm are safe to order, but not that skinny bottle of Mexican Coca-Cola or the Manzanita apple soda. That’s a sure tell.

Don’t wear pants that make you look Mexican. Clothes not only make the man, they make the man wonder where you’re from, too. If your look is more day laborer than day tripper, you ought to rethink the well-worn jeans and soft T-shirt for something a little more J. Crew &#151 in earth tones, of course. Depending on which way the wind blows, you could get asked for proof of citizenship or whether you could move a 6-foot saguaro away from a swing set.

But too many people who see this move as a way to strike out against the narcos or even the wannabe undocumented dishwashers and their high-dollar “anchor babies” don’t seem to have noticed how Arizona’s latest immigration law has the potential to affect the civil rights of a lot of Americans who look more like Richie Valens than Richie Cunningham.