My life AFTER breast cancer - I had it, I beat it - It Ain't Coming Back!

Saturday, 16 January 2010

Images are courtesy of Amazon.co.uk My 8 year old son is autistic, (aspergers) and he has trouble dealing with the world and its complicated ways. Sometimes this leads to anger and frustration and because he doesn't look as though he has a disability people are very condemning but they just don't understand.

I purchased these two books from Amazon UK to try and help Harry with his anger issues. There is no support available to us from the authorities despite the increased awareness of autism so we are very much on our own. I am very impressed with the Red Beast book and I think the only way I can explain it to you is to quote parts of the foreword:

"Any parent of a child with special needs will tell you that it is the uncontrollable outbursts of rage which are the most difficult to contend with"

"Some children with Autistic Spectrum Disorder ASD are prone to regular outbursts of rage, since simply living through a normal day is often fraught with anxiety and frustration. Children with Aspergers Syndrome seem to be the most affected because they are more self aware"

The book disassosiates the feeling of anger from the child themselves and instead calls it the Beast. In doing so it takes away the feelings of guilt and resulting low self-esteem.

This book is going to prove invaluable to me!

I wasn't too impressed with "When Sophie Gets Really Really Angry..." We could all identify Harry as Sophie but I didn't like the idea that when Sophie gets angry she runs away into the countryside. Children with autism mimic things such as stories or films etc, they also take things literally so this book could prove to be quite dangerous. I am quite sure that this book has its place but not for a child with autism.

It is very exhausting living with a child or children with special needs because you have to teach them everything, things which are normally learnt automatically. That coupled with the fact that they usually have communication dishorders makes it a very stressful environment.

I could write a book about my life with my boys. I am not saying it is all bad because it most certainly is not in fact the disability brings joy with it as well as strife!! You learn to become tolerant of their ways and life is spent "walking on egg shells" because the wrong word, the wrong look - can lead to a complete melt down. I have learnt an indirect approach works better with my children, a few half truths and ignoring alot. However, it is emotionally draining.

Mind you, I might find it hard parenting children with special needs but whenever I start to feel hard done to, I put myself in their shoes, I try to see the world through their eyes and to be quite honest with you I am in awe of them. They have adopted clever strategies in order to manage their situation but no matter what, the world is a scarey place when you are not sure what comes next. No wonder Harry wants to stay home all the time!

6 comments:

Sara my great niece, 5 years old has aspergers but she and her family has been blessed with much help. She attends school regularly and has a special teachers assistant with her at all times. She also is in a special program which allows her to have skating classes, ballet classes and art classes all being taught by professionals in this field. There is no cost to her parents as it is covered by healt care here in Canada. I don't know how you manage on your own, it must be very hard as I have babysat my great niece and need much patience to do so. I love her with all my heart and can see such a great improvement since she has been diagnosed and is being guided with such good care. Good Luck to you sweetie and God Bless you and your family..Hugs :-)

A good friend of ours has a son with Autism, and I can see her frustration, coupled with moments of joy, as she describes her daily routines with him. It is quite a challenge, as you know, and my heart and prayers go out to you. Blessings to you!

You are one strong woman. Your son and your own experience with cancer. We have 6 children 2 of our daughters are bipolar and we have been to hell and back, along with them so many times I have lost track. I try to keep the faith, but even though stable, they can have a episode any time. I agree that studying and reading about the condition is your only way to help deal with it.Blessings to you.QMM

Bless you Sara, having seen how you cope with Harry, I know what a fantastic job both you and Jason are doing! As you know my youngest son (who is now 21!) is dyslexic, and he had a really tough time at school and I had to fight for every little bit of extra help for him, went to college to learn how to help him, and he came through it all to get 11 G.C.S.E's, became deputy head boy in his last year at school, and qualified as a chef after 3 years at College! He is now working for his father, on a completely new path, and loving every minute of it! To me it shows that with the right support and encouragement, all those youngsters who have other needs can make it in the world! Keep up the great work, you are and inspiration to me in so many ways!!! Sharon xxxx