Read Up, Females. Men Are Writing.

Laura Yao wrote a great article on Dante Moore's book, The Reeducation of the Femalein The Washington Post. Moore's book "is intended to educate females about a man's way of thinking when it comes to sex, relationships, and marriage. The book "is the starting point for women to evaluate themselves with a little more detail, before pointing fingers and tossing blame at the endless reasons surrounding why they can't find a 'good man.'"

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Here's a reason from chapter ten, "Not All Women Are Cute, Sexy or Beautiful:"

"There's a reason why he can't get hard, and the reason is you."

YOU! You're fat and ugly and the worst part is you probably think you're cute. In other chapters of the book, you learn other reasons: you're too demanding, not submissive, you have a strong personality and you dress like shit. If you're educated, you don't keep it to yourself.

I've had the galley on my desk for a while because it is so deeply offensive and stupid that my co-worker and I read it aloud to each other. Quiet intuitively, Yao wonders if "women are just humoring Moore (and men everywhere), reading his book and others for a good laugh." I hope you laugh and cry from her article, but fuck if I want you to buy the book, or even ask where it is in your local bookstore.

Another book I've kept around on my desk for readalouds is Don't Blame it On Rio: The Real Deal Behind Why Men Go to Brazil for Sex, by Jewel Woods and Karen Hunter. The book tries much harder to reconcile relationships between Black men and women, but in its nauseating expose of the 'real deal behind why men go to Brazil for sex,' there's basically the same conclusion: women in America are chasing them there because they're angry and overweight and they don't let men feel like "men." Sure, the book—far better written and more sensitive—criticizes men for going to Rio for sex and widely examines the state of Black masculinity and gender dynamics in America, but in its commitment to presenting men in their own words, the reader is constantly bombarded with statements in a voice very similar to Moore's: "If you're not sucking dick, taking it up the ass, letting me squirt on the face, or doing whatever it is I want you to do, I don't want to be with you." Add that to the constant discussion of how much, much more beautiful and better behaved Brazilian woman are then Black American women, the authors' attempts to boost women up at the end is pointless. I'm sorry, what, exactly, can a woman do to compete with 5 much younger prostitutes of a different, fetishzed race who will do whatever they're paid to do to a guy and his work buddies? Why the hell would she want to compete with that? And why would she try to understand or save these dudes?

And interesting take-away from the book: The women whose men are all in Rio could, actually, lose some weight.

Don't Blame Rio...blame yourself. Or don't blame yourself, just, you know, understand that men are just men, that these "men" are the only men out there, and that you can stay single but you better stop bitching because if you're single, it's your fault. If you wanted to be happy, you'd be willing to compromise yourself so you could meet the needs of your man. Isn't time someone thought about what the men need?

All these books that teach women that they are the problem. Please, someone stop them.