Roundup Reviews: The Nun

Warning: Spoilers Ahead

For those of you who have already seen The Nun, I’m sorry. For everyone else, this article should help you with your decision.

Plot – Possessed Romanian Nun

As a prequel to The Conjuring, The Nun opens with the final scene from the original movie, with a painting of a demonic looking nun. Then, the viewer is taken back to the 1950s.

In a cloistered convent in the backwoods of Romania, a Nun takes her life and is found by a local farmer who delivers supplies to the convent. After the news of this mysterious event reaches the Vatican, they send a “miracle hunter” and a young woman about to take her final vows to investigate. As the two get deeper and deeper into the mystery of why the nun took her life, their lives get increasingly chaotic.

They decide that they should enter the convent and try to find someone to talk to. After talking to the head nun who they find praying in a poorly lit room, they realize that it is getting dark and they should head back. Luckily for them, the head nun is very hospitable and invites them to stay the night. What could go wrong, right?

What follows is classic, horror movie chaos. The miracle hunter goes missing and the soon-to-be nun searches for him. After being attacked by a demonic nun, the miracle hunter is buried alive in the nearby graveyard.

In one of the best scenes from the movie, the protagonist is walking through the dark, worn-down graveyard at night, when a little emergency bell on a grave begins to ring. Then, another grave’s bell rings, and another, and another, until she is surrounded by the sound of bells ringing.

Example of a Victorian graveyard bell

So the woman saves the miracle hunter from a slow death and they rejoice. Movie over, right? Not exactly. For some reason, they decide it would be wise to go back inside to tell the head nun about this attack (because she definitely had no idea there was a possessed nun hanging around the woods).

Then the woman meets up with a group of nuns who tell her about this possessed nun who haunts the convent. They explain that the convent used to be the center of a Satanic cult back in medieval times. It even included a portal to the underworld! After the Knights of Templar closed the portal by pouring a drop of the blood of Jesus onto it, the nuns explain that they have prayed every day to keep off the evil spirits.

In a twist of events, the protagonists decide to open the door that says, “God Ends Here” and explore the dungeon to find the ancient relic with the blood of Jesus. Long-story-short, they use the woman’s night visions of Mary to realize that a statue of Mary in the dungeon is pointing to the relic. They collect the relic, but then, BOOM! Out pops the anti-Christ in the form of a demonic nun!

Water begins to rise up through the underworld-portal and floods the dungeon. Then, the woman and the demon-nun go into underwater hand-to-hand combat. As the evil-nun drowns the woman, she puts the blood of Christ into her mouth and spits it onto the demon.

The blood of Jesus saves the day, the portal closes, the nun dies, and everyone lives happily ever after. Well, not exactly.

Turns out that it takes more than blood to eradicate the demon. The movie ends with a scene of the gang riding in a horse-drawn cart back to town and the driver happens to have some stomach pain. Also, he has an upside-down cross beginning to form on his back. This sets the stage for how the spirit works its way back into society for The Conjuring.

Impressions

I probably should have seen Crazy Rich Asians instead.

To be honest, this movie is pretty bad. It’s corny beyond measure and super predictable; it follows the classic horror movie plot-line.

DEMIAN BICHIR as Father Burke in New Line Cinema’s horror film “THE NUN,” a Warner Bros. Pictures release.

That being said, it does have a lot of comedic value if you are not taking it quite so seriously. If you go into the movie knowing what you are going to get, The Nun can provide some entertaining conversations and good laughs with your friends. Also, if you go with Jesuit/Ursuline/other Catholic school friends, it adds a hint of comedic irreverence.

Besides being the Editor-in-Chief of The Roundup, Emmet is a water polo player and competitive power-lifter. In his free time you might find Emmet practicing Spanish, French, and Russian or tending to his four beloved chickens. Emmet is also an avid follower of international affairs and an amateur chef. If you see him in the hallway, make sure to ask him for a motivational quote.
Feel free to slide Emmet a Moodle message or email with any questions or comments.

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