"It was better than nothing, but not by much." Ryan exclaimed to Peter, grabbing a bag of Fritos off the shelf. The fritos were stale and quickly losing their cheesy flavor.

"I can't believe she had the stones to say that to you" Peter replied, trying to hold the laughter in that has been steadily building. Despondent and humiliated, Ryan set to devouring the expired contents of the bag in rapid fashion, not unlike a cartoon beaver felling trees.

"It was better than nothing, but not by much." Ryan exclaimed to Peter, grabbing a bag of Fritos off the shelf. The fritos were stale and quickly losing their cheesy flavor.

"I can't believe she had the stones to say that to you" Peter replied, trying to hold the laughter in that has been steadily building. Despondent and humiliated, Ryan set to devouring the expired contents of the bag in rapid fashion, not unlike a cartoon beaver felling trees.

As he chewed, he realized the “what else” didn’t matter, not really, not when he knew she was right – “nothing” was better.

She had reduced his entire life to one failure after another with one simple sentence: "You've never succeeded at anything, and you never will."

Of course, the audacity of the claim was not that she was able to concieve of such a though - but that she would utter something so redundant. Everyone knew he was a failure - he had been working at the Hammock Emporium for three years without as much as a hint of a raise.

As he chewed, he realized the “what else” didn’t matter, not really, not when he knew she was right – “nothing” was better.

She had reduced his entire life to one failure after another with one simple sentence: "You've never succeeded at anything, and you never will."

Of course, the audacity of the claim was not that she was able to concieve of such a though - but that she would utter something so redundant. Everyone knew he was a failure - he had been working at the Hammock Emporium for three years without as much as a hint of a raise. Hammocks have become the great metaphor of his mundane life, swinging aimlessly in the breeze, no ambition, no excitement, just adrift.

As he chewed, he realized the “what else” didn’t matter, not really, not when he knew she was right – “nothing” was better.

She had reduced his entire life to one failure after another with one simple sentence: "You've never succeeded at anything, and you never will."

Of course, the audacity of the claim was not that she was able to concieve of such a thought - but that she would utter something so redundant. Everyone knew he was a failure - he had been working at the Hammock Emporium for three years without as much as a hint of a raise. Hammocks have become the great metaphor of his mundane life, swinging aimlessly in the breeze, no ambition, no excitement, just adrift. Then, of course, someone else would come along and lay right on top of him, then go to sleep comfortably.

Ryan had come to terms with his hammockian existence long ago, so who was she to bring it up? Of course, Ryan complains now, but at the time he just nodded and stared at his feet. All that was missing from the scene was an "aw shucks".

As he chewed, he realized the “what else” didn’t matter, not really, not when he knew she was right – “nothing” was better.

She had reduced his entire life to one failure after another with one simple sentence: "You've never succeeded at anything, and you never will."

Of course, the audacity of the claim was not that she was able to concieve of such a thought - but that she would utter something so redundant. Everyone knew he was a failure - he had been working at the Hammock Emporium for three years without as much as a hint of a raise. Hammocks have become the great metaphor of his mundane life, swinging aimlessly in the breeze, no ambition, no excitement, just adrift. Then, of course, someone else would come along and lay right on top of him, then go to sleep comfortably.

Ryan had come to terms with his hammockian existence long ago, so who was she to bring it up? Of course, Ryan complains now, but at the time he just nodded and stared at his feet. All that was missing from the scene was an "aw shucks".

As he chewed, he realized the “what else” didn’t matter, not really, not when he knew she was right – “nothing” was better.

She had reduced his entire life to one failure after another with one simple sentence: "You've never succeeded at anything, and you never will."

Of course, the audacity of the claim was not that she was able to concieve of such a thought - but that she would utter something so redundant. Everyone knew he was a failure - he had been working at the Hammock Emporium for three years without as much as a hint of a raise. Hammocks have become the great metaphor of his mundane life, swinging aimlessly in the breeze, no ambition, no excitement, just adrift. Then, of course, someone else would come along and lay right on top of him, then go to sleep comfortably.

Ryan had come to terms with his hammockian existence long ago, so who was she to bring it up? Of course, Ryan complains now, but at the time he just nodded and stared at his feet. All that was missing from the scene was an "aw shucks".

"What, and work backwards?" Ryan retorted, chuckling to himself at the thought, "You must really want to kill me because I don't think I would be able to make through all Police Academy, Three Men and a Baby, and Short Circuit movies without a bullet to the head."

As he chewed, he realized the “what else” didn’t matter, not really, not when he knew she was right – “nothing” was better.

She had reduced his entire life to one failure after another with one simple sentence: "You've never succeeded at anything, and you never will."

Of course, the audacity of the claim was not that she was able to concieve of such a thought - but that she would utter something so redundant. Everyone knew he was a failure - he had been working at the Hammock Emporium for three years without as much as a hint of a raise. Hammocks have become the great metaphor of his mundane life, swinging aimlessly in the breeze, no ambition, no excitement, just adrift. Then, of course, someone else would come along and lay right on top of him, then go to sleep comfortably.

Ryan had come to terms with his hammockian existence long ago, so who was she to bring it up? Of course, Ryan complains now, but at the time he just nodded and stared at his feet. All that was missing from the scene was an "aw shucks".

"What, and work backwards?" Ryan retorted, chuckling to himself at the thought, "You must really want to kill me because I don't think I would be able to make through all Police Academy, Three Men and a Baby, and Short Circuit movies without a bullet to the head."

"Look," Peter said, "I'm not sure Fritos or the Gutt mean anything, so let's just get drunk at The Scope and start talking revenge."

As he chewed, he realized the “what else” didn’t matter, not really, not when he knew she was right – “nothing” was better.

She had reduced his entire life to one failure after another with one simple sentence: "You've never succeeded at anything, and you never will."

Of course, the audacity of the claim was not that she was able to concieve of such a thought - but that she would utter something so redundant. Everyone knew he was a failure - he had been working at the Hammock Emporium for three years without as much as a hint of a raise. Hammocks have become the great metaphor of his mundane life, swinging aimlessly in the breeze, no ambition, no excitement, just adrift. Then, of course, someone else would come along and lay right on top of him, then go to sleep comfortably.

Ryan had come to terms with his hammockian existence long ago, so who was she to bring it up? Of course, Ryan complains now, but at the time he just nodded and stared at his feet. All that was missing from the scene was an "aw shucks".

"What, and work backwards?" Ryan retorted, chuckling to himself at the thought, "You must really want to kill me because I don't think I would be able to make through all Police Academy, Three Men and a Baby, and Short Circuit movies without a bullet to the head."

"Look," Peter said, "I'm not sure Fritos or the Gutt mean anything, so let's just get drunk at The Scope and start talking revenge."

This idea appealed to Ryan and with a smirk, nodded in approval, tossing the now mangled half empty bag of Fritos towards the trash can in the corner of the kitchen "Let's go."

***

The sound and sight of girls histrionically telling their own tales of woe to friends who were waiting for their turn to do the same annoyed Ryan, which is why he said, "I kinda wish -- maybe but not really -- I knew what she was doing right now, so I could follow her."

The sound and sight of girls histrionically telling their own tales of woe to friends who were waiting for their turn to do the same annoyed Ryan, which is why he said, "I kinda wish -- maybe but not really -- I knew what she was doing right now, so I could follow her."

Shifting the car into 5th gear, Peter replied "Well I have an idea, and I am sure you do too, and that's exactly why we are gonna have a drink first."

Welcome, Foolish Mortals..

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