I was an angry girlbut I blew up no buildingskilled no oneI was all hot airexploding insideletting the carnagesettleharden

by the time I ever heardsomething was wrong with youat twenty-ninethe damage was doneyour tubules were atrophyingglomeruli were dead and dyingyou were inflamed and irate

I had twenty-four grams of protein in the urineall swollen and freakishly feverishpouring my fluids into vials and beakersfilling out formstrying to recollect every sun burnevery sneezethose little red dots on my childhood skin

I was a medical mystery for many monthsuntil the day that doctors could make a determination:lupus-mediated membranous glomerulonephritis

now, eighteen years lateryou’re all I’ve gotmy future is in the capillaries of your glomeruli

all this time I’ve done this and thatpills and prayers of all kindseven taken some extreme measuresto keep you going

yet you falter

healers put the blame on all kinds of thingsdeep-seated fearspetrochemicalsleadcadmiumkarmawhite flourself-hatredseriousness

who knows

but we’re in this together, you and I

let’s go get sunshinedrink green teagrow tall and strongwade in waters up to our kneeslike the cypress in the Florida swampsgracing riverbanks and wetlandsroots filtering flowing watersbranches stretching to the skieswith their durable and eternal woods