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Culture Shock

by Sir_Nathan

(AUTHOR’S NOTE: Welcome to Culture Shock. By way of introduction, I’d like to explain that this long story was written to fill a niche that is largely unexplored in ‘real’ BDSM erotica, and that is, ‘How does a submissive actually get from online to real life in the world of D/s and BDSM? What kinds of things have to happen? What questions need to be asked and answered?’

My hope is that you will better understand the journey after reading this story.

This is not a stroke story, nor is it filled with ‘scenes’ or moments of piqued sexuality. It is not faultless and I’m sure I’ve left things out that some wags will bring to my attention. It is a character study; an in-depth look at what it is like for ONE young woman to discover the nuances of D/s and BDSM, and the challenges she faces on the road to her self-actualisation. Ultimately, if you are waiting with held breath for the arrival of ‘the weekend’, you will be disappointed.

The story focuses on the process rather than the result, highlighting Elaine’s journey up to the moment when she is finally alone with the man she has chosen as her Dominant. That is where the story ends, leaving you, the reader, to imagine what happens next. Some will find an ending like this incredibly frustrating for many reasons, not the least of which is the desire to know what became of them. That is why I am telling you now. What happens at the end of this story, in my humble opinion, is the mystery best left unsolved…)

Chapter 01

“What’s this?” Elaine asked.

She had been planning another night in. Typically her roommates were on her case about not going out with them, but she rarely felt like it and tonight was no exception. The prospect of study, surfing the net or watching a late movie alone was more alluring than alcohol, crowds and sweat.

“Um, just something we thought you might need.” Kendra and Chelsea giggled to each other, apparently trying not to burst out laughing.

Elaine stood aghast, paralysed and blushing crimson as the crumpled wrapping paper floated to the floor. Her roommates elbowed each other then apologised haughtily, explaining that their gift was intended to shame Elaine out of the apartment.

Almost rendered speechless, from somewhere Elaine forced a good-natured laugh before managing to wish the girls a good night and quietly lock the door. Her knees were shaking so badly she had to sit down. Along with a dose of humiliation and thumping adrenaline, her roommates had kindly presented Elaine with a vibrator. Though it appeared to have been given in jest, she had never felt more embarrassed than when she stood with her mouth open and her cheeks burning, an empty box in one hand and a sex toy in the other.

Turning it over in her hands at the kitchen table, she checked it out. It was nice and smooth and had a simple on/off switch and three different speeds. She’d always wanted one. But it was a purchase she doubted she’d ever have the courage to make. The realisation that she now actually owned a vibrator made her tummy flip. After making her way to her bedroom, she slipped it into her bedside drawer and tried to forget about it, dutifully turning to her studies as planned.

Before long it was late and she went to bed, sleeping fitfully.

Three days of denial followed and her roommates teased her at every opportunity. They latched onto the admission that she ‘hadn’t tried it yet,’ and apparently took great delight in asking her whether she’d christened it.

Elaine wanted to sample the mythical ecstasy a vibrator was said to give, but she was scared. She’d never used anything but her fingers, and even then it was rarely.

Kendra and Chelsea had insisted it felt ‘unbelievable,’ and Elaine didn’t doubt it. The problem was more complex than simple pleasure. She’d heard people could become addicted to vibrators or they could turn into sex maniacs. The latter, of course, she knew to be ridiculous. Elaine was a smart, centred girl; one who knew where she was going…

Being ‘out of control’ was one of her greatest fears. It was the only thing she really didn’t like about the whole sex business. When she had an orgasm, she had to grit her teeth and concentrate very hard, just to maintain her composure. If she slipped at all her body would buck around uncontrollably and she’d say all kinds of things she didn’t mean. Lately, when she just… needed it, she’d taken to pressing her face into her pillow, or biting down on it.

Even if her roommates were asleep, masturbating while they were at home was out of the question. There was no way she was going to risk waking anyone. She’d heard of girls described as ‘screamers’, and they were often called ‘sluts’ in the same breath. Her father had left her mother for one of them. She didn’t want to beone of them. She wasn’t one of them. She was a good girl. That’s what her mother always said.

“You’re a good girl, Elaine.”

Meaning, ‘I never caught you masturbating and I’m pretty sure you still have your virginity.‘

She was right too. Until Elaine had arrived at college, she’d rarely masturbated, and certainly never to orgasm. The two dates she’d endured in high school had been unmitigated disasters. Her mother had chaperoned the first one, even going so far as to tell the young man not to put his arm around Elaine’s shoulder.

The second date occurred soon after Elaine’s seventeenth birthday, when she confidently insisted on a date alone with a boy. Everything was going perfectly until he touched her thigh in the darkened movie theatre. For a full minute she turned to stone, unable to move as her date shockingly fondled her bare skin with growing boldness. Aroused from her momentary paralysis, she fled the theatre, freaked out by her physical response. From that moment, she shied away from boys for fear of sexual contact.

And anyway, she liked being thought of as untouchable. She was a good girl.

At college she’d grown up somewhat. She allowed herself to discover the mind-boggling pleasures her fingers could give her, even though the experience itself was frightening. She would never forget the first time she had an orgasm. Until she’d left home, she’d never had the nerve to keep going and find out what it felt like. Once she knew, it was like she was hooked.

Overcome with guilt at her almost constant need, Elaine became convinced she had a medical condition. After reading some articles and books she’d found in the college library, she discovered she was not abnormal. Just rare. She was, as the books described, simply ‘highly sexed’.

Somewhat reassured, over the following months Elaine trained herself to remain quiet and to rein in the passion her fingers seemed able to induce. Unfortunately, orgasms thus procured were relatively unsatisfactory, often leaving her even more desperate for release. And so, as became her regular routine, she would wait until her roommates went out before ultimately finding herself biting down on her pillow and screaming her head off.

Having a vibrator sitting in her bedside drawer was a double-edged sword. She had trouble enough maintaining control. Yet she wanted to know.

Eventually both opportunity and curiosity got the better of her. Fortified with a couple of glasses of Merlot, the next time Elaine’s roommates went out, she turned off the lights, stripped naked, and slipped between the clean sheets on her bed. For the next three hours she had come and come and come. Zeroing in on her final climax, the damned batteries ran out

In a blind fit of frustration with her fingers a blur on her numb clitoris, Elaine had hesitated, moaned, then jammed the vibrator full length into herself. The pain of ‘becoming a woman’ had ignited her best orgasm ever, so strong it floored her, leaving her bucking and gasping for air.

Almost an hour later she’d woken, sprawled on the floor beside her bed and wondering if she’d somehow knocked herself unconscious.

Elaine spent the next few days avoiding her roommates and putting off buying new batteries. She was shaken by the intensity of her experience and again worried that there was something wrong with her.

Over a quiet Sunday dinner a week later, Elaine admitted to her roommates that she had tried the vibrator. For once, Kendra and Chelsea put aside their teasing, and they sat and drank wine, talking about all kinds of things long into the night.

Though Elaine hadn’t admitted to breaking her hymen, after talking to Kendra and Chelsea, she realised her experience wasn’t all that unusual. Both girls described their first times with a vibrator as mind-blowing and wanting to do it again and again. They said the intensity was caused by the newness of the experience and would be less so in the future. It made sense.

She went out the very next day and bought more batteries. Stuff it, she thought as she bounded down to the local supermarket with renewed enthusiasm. It wasn’t until she’d asked for two long-life batteries that she considered how she looked. Suddenly she wondered whether the sales girl also had a vibrator and recognised the batteries she was buying. Before she knew it, she could feel the heat in her cheeks and her nipples stiffening.

Wonderful, she’d thought. Now I even LOOK guilty.

Her pussy was wet all the way home. Just thinking about it made it worse.

She could hardly wait to try the vibrator again, but that wasn’t why she was excited. Elaine already knew that if she blushed from even mild embarrassment, her pussy would moisten. After that, she felt like she was in a perilous, yet intoxicating vicious circle. Elaine feared her weakness might be taken advantage of or used against her by her future lovers. She really didn’t know how someone might react. She hoped they never found out.

*****************************

Every time she needed to buy batteries, Elaine’s tummy flipped and she’d start getting nervous. Going through a set almost every session, once she established a routine, she needed to buy quite a few. She couldn’t shake the idea that whoever she bought them from knew exactly what she was doing with them.

In order to appear less obvious, she started buying other unnecessary items as camouflage or going to different stores so no one would recognise her as ‘that girl who goes through so many batteries she must be masturbating’.

She felt her cheeks warming as she made herself a coffee.

Over the last five weeks, she’d used the vibrator almost every chance she’d had. A week ago she’d promised herself she’d avoid using it for seven days, just to prove she wasn’t addicted and still had some self-control. A week was a long time and it hadn’t been easy. The seventh day had been and gone and Elaine had to wait until the eighth for some time alone.

That night was tonight.

A month earlier, soon after her first vibrator induced orgasms, Elaine had discovered a free website on the Internet containing literally thousands of erotic stories. Their effect on her had been staggering. Some of the stories had turned her on tremendously and she loved that feeling. There were so many and the choices had been endless. It seemed as though every sex act and every fantasy ever conceived had been covered. Flushed with passion while reading, she had caught herself rubbing her thighs together many, many times.

After only rudimentary investigation, Elaine had found the part of the site where the best stories were listed, and she’d read and read, beginning with Romance and First Time and moving on to Erotic Couplings then Loving Wives.

Whenever she had a moment she would read an erotic story, loving how it made her feel. The more debauched the story, the more memorable it had been. Some of the stories in Exhibitionism and Voyeurism had her on edge for days, and some of the offerings from the Group Sex and Mind Control categories had been unforgettable. Daydreaming of a random scenario during lectures or at work had become a regular occurrence.

She loved the stories and if they were well written, she could become completely immersed in them.

One day it occurred to her that the stories she enjoyed were becoming more and more ‘extreme’, particularly in language, and she wondered about it. She rationalised that it was ‘merely fantasy’ and her sensibilities were changing. It was far less confronting to ‘read the words’ than have them spoken to her. That only happened in her dreams. And she couldn’t control her dreams, so that was okay. And anyway, if she didn’t like a story, she could simply choose another one.

Elaine liked the Internet. Her favourite things about it were the safety and the anonymity. To be able to disappear into the ether was extremely comforting. She could turn on and turn off on a whim, and she felt like she was in control of her admittedly solitary sexual life. Being ‘into’ erotic stories was okay. Her anonymity was assured. No one would be any the wiser.

For now, it would have to do.

Besides, she’d found some stories to be quite educational. One story in the Exhibitionism category prompted her to dance naked in front of the mirror in the bathroom after a shower. To her surprise she realised it turned her on to watch herself. Sometimes when she got out of the shower she would turn sideways and watch intently as she caressed a nipple and watched it grow. She had ‘pencil eraser’ type nipples and they never ceased to amaze her. They were very sensitive and her nipples hardened regularly, embarrassing her and demanding a thick bra.

If the truth were told, she quite liked her breasts. In bed she could caress them for twenty minutes and barely notice the time passing. Seeing the reflection of herself plucking and twisting her nipples in the mirror was almost like watching someone else perform for her. Either that or watching herself perform.

Whichever it was, it turned her on. She knew if she ever did dance for a lover, he would be happy with how she looked. Her breasts were full, round and smooth and she often wondered what they were doing on her slim, five-foot-five frame. They were perhaps slightly out of proportion and had embarrassed her when she was younger, but nowadays she covered them with loose fitting clothing and sweatshirts. She was pretty sure no one had any idea whether she had a nice body or not.

Of course, during her ‘No Vibe’ week, she still had to masturbate. She’d grown quite fond of playing with her body, and not doing it was completely out of the question. The two nights that she was alone, she’d read lots of amazing stories, then later fingered herself to a few unsatisfying orgasms. Whenever she denied herself something, like if she swore off chocolate, the one thing she couldn’t get off her mind was chocolate.

By the end of the week, she was seething with the need to feel that buzzing toy taking her over the edge.

Elaine enjoyed her time alone in the apartment. Sometimes she contemplated stripping down to her underwear or even getting naked, just for fun, but she’d never done it. She didn’t have the nerve. What if her roommates came home and caught her? It would have been worse than when they’d given her the vibrator, and she would have just died. So instead, she’d get a little dressed up, and occasionally leave out the underwear. The idea of being braless or panty-less was way more exciting than being naked. It felt wicked and naughty. Besides, she’d begun playing with her body while in front of the computer, and less layers meant easier access.

It was Friday and her horrible week was up. Braving the humiliating task of buying batteries, Elaine had bought extra, just in case. When she arrived back home, it crossed her mind that she had no reason not to use her vibrator right away. Her roommates had left a note saying they’d be out for hours, and Elaine was already hot from thinking about tonight all through her classes. Still, there was an element of delicious torture in holding off for a while. With the whole night ahead of her, for the next hour or so she was happy to stew in her own juices.

There was something about having hard nipples and a squishy pussy that appealed to Elaine on some animal level. Intellectually, it was a bit of a quandary. She felt ‘horny’ and ‘attractive’, as though each went hand in hand. She thought she was prettier, more desirable, and more sensual if her body was aroused. She just felt good. It was as simple as that. She liked the feeling.

Only just last week, on a whim and desiring some human contact, Elaine had registered a nickname and entered the chat room that was within the erotic stories site. She’d chosen the name Naughtygirl and was immediately bombarded with all kinds of disgusting proposals. Finding it a bit confronting, she’d wondered if all the girls were treated the same way.

Just to escape, she’d tried clicking on a sub-room. It was a Hot Tub room and she’d been disappointed. An argument had been going on and if there was a hot tub, she’d seen no evidence of it. She tried changing rooms and went into a Family Role-play room that was filled with daddies and daughters and uncles and nieces. Someone had immediately accosted her, telling her to, “Call me Daddy and suck my cock!” Elaine had been shocked and backed out of the chat rooms without replying.

She’d sat back for a moment and thought about what had happened. Reminding herself that she was on an adult site, consisting of what were generally considered to be ‘pornographic’ stories, she wondered if she was being a bit prudish. She shouldn’t really have expected manners or good behaviour, should she?

Thinking about some of the words different men had used ‘right to her face’ made Elaine blush. Of course, she’d known she was safe, no matter what anyone had said to her. She’d been at home in front of the computer, and that freed her to be, or accept, anything she chose, as long as she kept any personal details private. It had been kind of exciting. She just had to be prepared for it.

Since then she’d visited the chat rooms every other day. She’d even started to think that chatting online was made for her. If she ignored the dickheads, it was fun and she found it all very new and exciting.

Elaine made up a whole ‘persona’ for Naughtygirl, becoming a free and slutty waitress, slightly air-headed, who worked in New York and was being regularly ‘fucked’ by her floor manager. She decided Naughtygirl always said ‘fucked’ and never said ‘made love’. The ideas she came up with turned her on. Naughtygirlshaved her pussy, and Naughtygirl never wore panties.

Elaine felt safe and separate and was smart enough to make something up if any probing questions were asked. Naughtygirl could also say ‘no’ when guys asked for her email or her phone number, and she found it easy to refuse dates and meetings.

Elaine’s vocabulary quickly expanded to include such words and ‘dick’ and ‘cock’ and ‘pussy’. She rarely even thought to say those words, but typing them made her shiver with arousal. Still, when describing ‘herself’, words such as ‘slut’ or ‘whore’were completely out of the question. She liked to think of Naughtygirl as either ‘sensual’ or ‘taken advantage of’, but never a ‘slut’. And she really didn’t like the word ‘cunt’ in any kind of conversation. She certainly wasn’t going to type it, and as soon as someone called her pussy a ‘cunt’, the mood would be spoiled and she’d just click out of the room.

On a couple of occasions she’d wondered if the frank language was one of the reasons she kept returning. Talking to men in ways she never could in real life was appealing. She found some of the conversations made her very wet, and she’d taken to sitting on a folded towel. Naughtygirl ‘sucked cock’ and was ‘fucked hard’, and Elaine learned that it wasn’t only in stories than men liked to fuck women in the ass. Of course, she let the men think she was actually doing these things with all kinds of ‘big fat dildos’, but in fact the most she did was lightly stroke her wet, seething pussy. But she didn’t mind.

For once she could be anything. Do anything. She could role-play for fun or pleasure, turning guys on and watching them type out their orgasms. She could pretend to suck them and fuck them. The possibilities seemed endless and it was all very safe. No one asked her if she was really like the persona she projected on-line. They rarely asked probing questions with their hard cocks in their hands.

About an hour ago a guy had messaged her as soon as she’d logged on. It was a man she had spoken to before and he liked playing with Naughtygirl. He started telling her she was in a nightclub with him and he was toying with her and telling her to do all kinds of crazy things. Elaine had just giggled and shook her head and typed back, “Oh yeah, baby!” The guy was very imaginative and she’d sat back and typed ‘Mmmmm, Mmmmmm,” at all the appropriate moments while he spun his erotic tale. When he finally, ‘shot his load deep in her ass, right there in the nightclub, ‘ she was pretty worked up. She’d been imagining herself reaching orgasm at that moment in the crowded bar and typed back, “Oh God, yes! I’m cumminggggg!!!”

After waiting the appropriate amount of time to ‘recover’, she hitched up her skirt and gently stroked her pussy, finding herself to be absolutely soaked and coating her fingers with her juices immediately.

It was very exciting to read the messages he was sending her, telling her to ‘finger her pussy harder’ and ‘suck her fingers clean‘. She couldn’t wait to get to bed. She glanced at the time and decided to go and play with her vibrator really soon.

She didn’t want to seem ungrateful, so she thanked her cyber-partner and told him she thought he was really good and hoped they could play again. The guy started asking her questions wanting to know all about her and requested a picture so he could imagine her. This was a question she’d deflected a few times already.

The two pictures of herself on the computer Elaine didn’t like. One had been taken down by the shore last year and showed her long dark hair blowing gently out behind her as she stood on the sand. Unfortunately she had been in a bikini and she wasn’t showing that photo to anyone in the chat rooms.

The other was more recent; a close up of her with a girlfriend from home, tongues poking out, showing off her newly acquired shaggy ‘bob-style’ haircut. She thought it was a good picture to share with her family, but it was too goofy for Naughtygirl. She’d scanned them and e-mailed them to her cousin who wanted to see her new look.

But instead of showing them to Eight Inch Adonis, she told him she had to go. He asked her when she might be on again and started telling her when he would return so she could synchronise. By now Elaine was starting to feel awkward and just told him, ‘Soon!‘ and clicked off.

“Mmmmm, such fun,” she said to herself happily, switching off the computer and leaving her fantasy world behind. Standing, she smoothed her skirt over her hips and straightened the hem, then headed to the bathroom to wash her hands.

She shook her head at herself, smiling at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Thinking it over, she was amazed at the kinds of feelings she was experiencing. Who would have guessed that ‘Elaine the Homebody’ was Naughtygirl, the girl who sucked and fucked and took dildos up her ass? Elaine knew she should have been out having fun with her roommates or at least studying, instead of playing with herself in front of the computer and goofing off. Or jacking off. Or jilling off, or whatever it was called.

“Fingering my cunt!” she said aloud, giggling. Her hand flew to her mouth and she stared wide-eyed at the mirror in shock. She whispered, “I just said ‘cunt’,” and giggled again.

What is happening to me? she wondered.

It was just so… wicked! And so unlike her! Elaine had carefully cultivated an aloofness that was utterly transparent to her roommates, but worked well when keeping strangers at arms length. She avoided going out unless it was either absolutely necessary, or to somewhere she thought was ‘her kind of scene’. Like a library, coffee shop, or a small party and, on the odd occasion when she couldn’t get out of it, to the dance club in the city.

In real life, Elaine’s manner was naturally defensive and few men had the self-confidence to approach her in the first place. Conversely, she told herself she didn’t like the pushy type. On top of that, she ‘didn’t want to meet the wrong kind of guy’. And yet, she wanted to be swept off her feet. She was intelligent enough to recognise the irony. She felt like she was wound into a tight ball of inaction, and didn’t know how to break free.

The highlight of her female-to-male sex-life had been a drunken, after-hours grope in the supply closet at the office where she worked part-time. The job itself was a mindless mail-sorting one, but the hours were good and it did have its benefits. The supply closet incident alone had been enough to give Elaine masturbation material for half a year.

She sighed deeply and frowned at her reflection while she dried her hands.

Pushing her melancholy thoughts to the back of her mind, Elaine returned to her room, reminding herself that she had fresh batteries and a couple of hours before her roommates returned. Nothing was going to dampen her mood when she’d been waiting all week! As she slipped off her robe and lay on her bed, she blushed as she recalled the guy in the chat room ordering her around. She couldn’t believe she almost sucked her juices from her fingers! She giggled. She couldn’t even remember his name.

“I’m such a slut,” she said aloud, shaking her head. She swallowed as she retrieved her plastic toy and reached for the lamp switch. Her excitement mounted. She chose to leave it on. Then she had a crazy thought. She grabbed her small pocketbook mirror from her bag on the floor.

How dirty would it be to watch myself while masturbating?

She threw back the sheet and felt a rush of arousal spread over her body as she held the small mirror to reflect exactly what she was doing.

Wow!

Goosebumps broke out on her arms and thighs and her nipples pulsed. She’d never looked at herself like that before. It was strange. It was almost like watching someone else. The thatch of fine dark hair on her pussy grew naturally into a cute little Mohawk, and the lips were almost hairless and tucked in. She had taken to shaving the strays around her pussy a few years ago and it was framed nicely in the reflection of the mirror in her hand.

She draped her other hand gently over her lips and drew up her fingers, lightly grazing over the warm, soft flesh. Tingles rolled over her skin and her eyes glazed in a fixed stare. Spreading her first and second fingers, she drew apart her outer lips and gasped at how pink and oily the inner lips appeared. Drawing up her feet, she bent her knees and watched in fascination as her pussy flowered open. With her legs at a ninety-degree angle, Elaine could see the wet inner lips nestled between the more pale puffy outer lips. She couldn’t think how to describe it. It was kind of pretty, but well… she wasn’t sure. It was just fascinating.

She grabbed the spare pillow and arranged it between her legs so she could lean the small mirror up against it. Folding over her other pillow, she leaned back against it, happy with the result. She smiled wickedly.

NOW I’ll finger my cunt!

As soon as she had the sinful thought, she blushed and reached for her pussy with both hands. Again she parted her lips, this time drawing a deep breath as she spread her knees even wider. A pearl of wetness appeared at the base of her pussy.

That’s my hole, she thought. My cunt.

In the mirror she guided her shaking index finger down to the bead of moisture and drew it slowly up between her lips, groaning at the sight and feel. With knees widespread and her buttocks clenched, her nether lips parted wetly, showing the glistening hot pink flesh within.

Mesmerised by the sight, Elaine slowly caressed her fingertip up and down, back and forth between her lips, feeling herself becoming feverish, her skin crawling with voyeuristic pleasure. She arched her ass upward, spreading herself more lewdly as she pushed her finger slowly into the hot velvety tunnel of her pussy. Releasing her now slick outer lips, her left hand reached up to her chest, grasping her nipple and pinching it firmly, just the way she liked. She groaned, wishing she had a larger mirror so she could see all of herself. The thought evaporated and her mouth gaped as she added a second finger and slid them both all the way in.

“Ohhh, Goddd…” she moaned, her eyes rolling back into her head.

Without her maidenhead, she loved the feeling. She was sliding the fingers over her slick flesh and into herself, stimulating clitoris and vagina simultaneously. Thick honey flowed and a large drip was headed down between the cheeks of her ass. She shivered, watching as each pump of her fingers added a little more moisture to the downward trail.

Finally she could stand it no longer and reached for her vibrator. Turning her head she realised barely ten minutes had passed. She almost laughed, thinking it was going to be a long night. Hurriedly turning it to the highest setting, the toy leapt to life in her hands and she shuddered in anticipation.

Elaine got comfortable and slid two fingers back into her pussy, hovering the toy over her clit. As she drew her fingers up and out, she spread them, opening her inner lips widely and unhooding her sensitive little pea. She trembled throughout her body as she watched the toy descend agonisingly slowly toward its target. It seemed like the air crackled around her ears as the vibrator and her little pink bud met. Elaine convulsed, her hips rising off the bed as she fought to draw back the toy. Again and again she tortured herself, touching and withdrawing, building higher and higher.

With knees so wide they were almost touching the bed, she fingered herself quickly, holding the toy to her clit. She gritted her teeth as the pleasure grew and blossomed across her skin, her inner muscles tightening and fluttering in approach to orgasm. She recognised it and tried to stop, oblivion seconds away. With a mighty effort she pulled the toy away and slowed her fingers, careful not to touch her clit. Her body shuddered and she squirmed in protest, moaning hotly. Elaine knew she was right on the edge. Her body shook with need. She was going insane and wanted it so bad. She needed to be free. She needed to cum and cum hard.

Twisting her head, she bit into the corner of her pillow before turning her eyes back to the incredible sight of herself skewered on her fingers. She straightened the slender digits and started pumping them hard. Her back arched and her body caught fire! The vibrator crashed back into her clit, forcing grunts and squeals out of her mouth and into the soft pillow. She was trying not to cum, revelling in every last excruciating second before release. Her ass was high off the bed, effectively tightening her pussy and tripling the pleasure.

Unable to stop herself, her orgasm burst free, sweeping her away into unconsciousness.

The last thing she remembered before her eyes rolled back into her head, was the incredible sight of her convulsing pussy, squirting juices right at the mirror and her own anguished voice, muffled by the pillow, crying out, “Fucking my cunt! Fucking my cunt!”

She woke up the next morning with a start, wondering what happened. Looking around, she breathed more easily, noticing nothing out of place. Throwing back the bed sheet and remembering little, she was surprised to see she’d even gone to the trouble of putting her panties back on. She pulled open her bedside drawer, finding her mirror and vibrator. She swallowed, thinking the toy had blood on it. She didn’t remember fucking it, and certainly not hard enough to hurt herself. She took it out, her breath catching in her chest.

In sultry red lipstick, someone had left a kiss right on her toy.

Chapter 02

Sitting on the side of her bed, Elaine looked at the vibrator and her mind raced. If she cleaned off the lipstick, whoever kissed it would know she’d seen it. Would they check? If she left it how it was, could she pretend she hadn’t seen it?

She quickly put it back in the drawer and shoved it closed, accidentally making a banging noise. She hushed the errant drawer, making herself blush. The walls of the small three-bedroom apartment were paper thin, and she hoped neither of her roommates recognised the sound.

Ugh, what am I thinking? This is ridiculous.

She slid the drawer open again and reached inside. Holding the toy up in front of her, she sniffed it to see if it had been washed. It had. Wondering what difference it made, she admonished herself.

So I used it. Big deal. It’s not as if it’s earth-shattering news. Get a grip!

Biting her lip, she reached for a tissue to clean off the lipstick. Before she noticed what she was doing, she found her fist wrapped around the inert toy, separated only by a layer of Kleenex, cleaning it off in a twisting, pseudo-jacking off motion. Memories of last night’s festivities turned up the corners of her mouth. She brought the toy up in front of her face to examine it more closely. It was all clean and ready for ‘next time’ so she put it away again, this time quietly.

Hopping up from the bed, Elaine grabbed her robe from a corner chair and drew it around herself. It was soft and thick so she didn’t have to bother with a bra. After grabbing a fresh towel from the hall closet, she went to take a shower but the bathroom was occupied. She had to see her roommates sooner or later and decided to face the music and make herself a coffee in the kitchen.

Taking a deep breath, she rounded the corner and found Chelsea groaning and tidying up some spilt sugar. “Can I help?” Elaine asked.

“God. Sorry Elaine. I’m all thumbs. We had a big night last night and I feel like shit,” Chelsea complained.

“Here, let me do it,” Elaine offered, deftly cleaning up the mess.

“Thanks, Elaine. You’re an angel.”

“It’s okay,” she said, enjoying the praise. “I don’t mind.” Things were already going better than she’d hoped. She feared finger pointing and sniggering, but at least she and Chelsea were adults. Either that or it wasn’t Chelsea who kissed her vibrator. Hmmmm… Blushing and turning her back on her roommate and filling the kettle with water, Elaine asked, “Um, I was going to make coffee anyway. Would you like one?”

“Could you make one for Kendra too?” Chelsea pleaded, slumping in the kitchen chair.

“Sure, just relax. I don’t know how you guys can go out every weekend and get smashed like you do.”

“We’re young. We’re supposed to, and besides, it’s where the guys are.” Chelsea was leaning on her elbows, holding her head in her hands. Her robe hung open almost to her navel, exposing the smooth, tanned skin of her chest and the inner swell of each breast. After trailing her eyes down to Chelsea’s flat tummy, Elaine realised what she was doing.

“Th… There you go,” she stuttered, passing Chelsea’s coffee to her and staring at the sugar bowl. “So um, did you meet any nice ones last night?”

“Guys? Naaa. Just the usual bunch of dropkicks. I’m sore all over though. We danced all night.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“Yeah. I guess. Just once I’d like to meet someone who wasn’t a complete wimp. Most of the guys we meet are like lapdogs, following us around, hoping for a taste. Either that or they’re overbearing oafs. It’d be nice to meet someone who knew what I liked.”

“What are you going on about?” asked Kendra, entering the kitchen with a towel wrapped around her body and another around her head. “Is that mine?” she asked Elaine, sitting down and reaching for the spare cup.

Elaine nodded.

“I was just saying,” repeated Chelsea. “That most of the guys we meet are just boys. I’d like to meet a man. A real man.”

“What? Someone old and wrinkly?” Kendra asked, teasing.

“Nooo! God. I just mean someone who knows how to treat a lady.”

“Oh, so you’re a lady now, are you? You could have fooled me. You didn’t look like much of a lady when I poured you into that taxi last night.”

“Oh, stop it. You weren’t much better. And anyway, you know what I mean.”

Kendra shook her head with a smile and brought her coffee to her lips. “Well, my idea of a ‘real man’ is someone cute, muscly, can cry in movies and brings me flowers every time he picks me up. Haven’t found him yet, though.” She turned her gaze to Elaine. “What about you, Elaine? What kind of man would you like to meet?”

“Hmmm… I’d like to meet someone who impresses me. Someone I can look up to and learn from. Someone I can respect. Someone with substance.”

“Someone who isn’t plastic?”

“Um, yeah. Not plastic. Yeah…” As Elaine blushed five shades of red, she figured it was safe to assume Kendra had kissed her vibrator and was now teasing her about the use of it. Her nipples started getting hard and she was mortified, pulling her robe closer around herself.

Seemingly unconcerned, Kendra sipped her coffee, eying Elaine over the edge of a cup with a pussycat on it. “She’s a lightweight,” she said finally, fixing Elaine with a stare.

“What do you mean?”

“Lightweight! You know.”

“You mean like a lush?”

“Yeah, like a lush, Miss Ohio, 1958. Jeez… You gotta get out more.”

Elaine sighed. “Yeah, I know. I just don’t like the crush and the drinking. The music’s okay, I guess.”

“And some of the men are just dreamy.”

“Chelsea doesn’t seem to think so.”

“Chelsea wouldn’t know a real man if he bit her on the ass.”

“Mmmmm.” Elaine giggled.

“Mmmmm.” Kendra echoed, winking and grinning. When the pleasant moment had passed, Kendra leaned forward a little and whispered, “I hope you didn’t mind that I put you in bed and tidied up a bit last night. I thought it might be a bit embarrassing to wake up like that.”

Elaine didn’t know why she took the bait, but she did. “Like what?”

“Like, sprawled over your bed, all the lights on, stark naked with a vibrator in your hand.”

“Oh.” The image made her speechless, and wet. God, she even put panties on me!

“Just wait till I get the pictures developed!” Kendra teased.

Elaine’s eyes went wide, and she was about to squeal.

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” Kendra insisted. “Jeez Elaine!”

“You’re mean,” Elaine whispered, feeling like she was blushing to the roots of her hair.

“Oh, c’mon. I’m just having some fun with you. You know you like it.”

“I so do not. This isn’t fun at all. It’s embarrassing. And I’d rather not be um, reminded of this… episode either. I’d like to think I have some privacy here, at least in my room! And I can assure you I don’t like you making fun of me.” Elaine was pleased with her response. She rarely got a word in once Kendra started talking.

“Riiight… . Then tell me the truth. Are your nipples hard?”

“What?” Elaine gasped incredulously, pulling her robe even more tightly around her body.

“Go on. Tell me!”

Just then the toilet flushed and Chelsea stumbled into the kitchen. “I wouldn’t go in there for a while if I were you,” she said, flopping into the chair in front of her cold coffee.

“Um, it’s okay,” Elaine said, quickly snatching up her towel and fleeing into the bathroom. She didn’t mind what the air in there smelled like. She didn’t want to answer any more of Kendra’s questions.

**************************

Chelsea had already gone out the door and Kendra was holding it open. “We won’t be home till after three A.M., so there’s plenty of playtime,” she said, winking at Elaine who was standing in the kitchen doorway.

“I might invite the football team over,” Elaine replied, poking out her tongue. She’d managed to spend most of the day in her room studying.

“A football team would put you in a coma! I’d stick to vibrators. And if I catch you like I did last night, there will be pictures.”

With an open mouth, Elaine blushed mightily as the front door closed. It wasn’t so much being unable to adequately defend herself that made her embarrassed. It was also things like the wet kiss Kendra blew to her as she left. And the image of Elaine’s vibrator in Kendra’s hand as she kissed it, knowing where it had been. And of Kendra pulling her panties up her legs and fitting them to her unconscious body. That had haunted her all day. She was just glad she hadn’t woken up when Kendra had put her to bed. She would have been humiliated. She resolved to pretend she was asleep if it ever happened again.

Kendra wouldn’t really take pictures, would she? Elaine wondered. I’d die if she did. I MUST stay in control of myself when I cum.

Twenty minutes later Elaine was writhing on her bed, twisting a turgid nipple between her forefinger and thumb. Wanting more than just the fingers of her other hand sliding in and out of her clasping pussy, she was mindlessly fumbling for the drawer, desperate for her vibrator. Her slippery fingers finally grasped the handle and pulled it open, blindly searching for her toy. Already having crab-walked halfway up the bed in her ecstasy, her head hung back over the pillow that had bunched up under her shoulder blades. With palpable relief, she found her vibe, immediately turned it on ‘high’ and pressed it against her throbbing swollen clit.

She hit the roof.

Clenching her teeth to keep herself from screaming, for a split-second she wished she put the pillow in her mouth. But it was too late and in an instant she went over the edge in an explosive climax. Her eyes bulged as she strained to keep them open, willing herself to stay conscious. Shudders wracked her body and she strained, trying to contain them. Unfortunately when she did, the pleasure was drawn out almost endlessly. She even had time to change her attack.

She slid the vibrator into her hot cunt. Yes, it was a ‘hot cunt’ now. A writhing, twisting haze of countless nerve endings, all firing in pleasure and rolling out across her abdomen, prickling her buttocks and rolling down her legs making them shake. Into her mind came the image of Kendra, topless and holding a camera, flashes lighting up the room.

Over the top she went again, this time enough to make her oval her lips. A whispered low groan escaped before she heard herself. She clenched her teeth again. Willing her eyes open, she looked past her tortured nipple, distended beyond belief between her fingers, and down to her flailing wrist, driving the white toy incessantly in and out of her clenching pussy.

I have to stop, she thought forlornly. This is how it happened last time. Now I remember. I just couldn’t stop. Gradually her hand slowed. I can do this. I can control myself. Tearing her fingers from her throbbing nipple, she reached down to turn off the vibe. She sighed with a mixture of disappointment and relief. She could do it. She could control herself.

“Oh God! Kendra!” Elaine’s eyes shot open, reality and imagination blending for just a moment. She slumped back onto the bed as her fears were allayed. Blushing madly, she shook her head.

Why does the idea of being caught, even photographed, turn me on? God, almost everything turns me on!

Heading for the bathroom, she left her robe behind. Being nude made her nipples stand up. Sympathetically she gently rubbed the one she’d been pinching.

Deciding on a whim to sit at her computer naked, Elaine folded a towel and placed it under her ass before booting it up. Connecting to the net and heading for her favourite chat room, she hadn’t been there five minutes before someone called MasterServant messaged her.

“Good evening to you.”

“Hello,” Elaine typed back, thinking this man at least had manners.

“I’ve noticed you here before.”

“The nickname?” Elaine glanced an inch to the left where her nickname, Naughtygirl, sat proudly.

“Yes. It’s intriguing.”

“I’m really nothing like my nickname,” Elaine typed, adding a smiley face with its tongue sticking out. She hoped he thought she was being subtle and flirty. For some reason this man made her heart flutter.

“I know,” he typed back, halting her in her tracks.

“What do you mean?” Elaine asked, suddenly wondering if this man was more dangerous than she had previously assessed.

“Just that in general, people on the net either describe themselves honestly, or they make things up. Something like a series of wish lists, rather than reality. I’m guessing Naughtygirl is your assumed persona.”

Elaine gulped. Was her profile so obvious? She clicked on it and read it quickly. It looked okay, maybe a little exaggerated. Nothing like her really, but she enjoyed being Naughtygirl and she felt like she was her, in a strange way. So she felt justified when she went on the attack. “Are you questioning my honesty?”

“I am not judging you on that basis. It’s something people do. It’s a free country, but I like to know if the person I am talking to is a player or a real person. Don’t get me wrong, you are allowed to be a player. I’d just like to know. In other words, if you really are blonde, 22, 115 lbs, a 36 C, fun loving, a bit ditzy, and you love all kinds of sex, then I’d like you to tell me so.”

By the time she’d finished reading his message, Elaine’s heart was beating hard. She couldn’t make her hands type. Almost a minute passed by as she read it over and over. Suddenly another message flashed up on the screen.

“I didn’t mean to freak you out. I apologise. I’ll go.”

She was typing to him, asking him to stay, when he disappeared from her screen. Elaine’s jaw dropped.

How could he so easily see right through me? I should have told him to fuck off.

She found the conversation unsettling and didn’t feel like chatting any more. After turning off the machine, she laid back in her bed, tossing over in her mind whether or not to masturbate. She didn’t feel like that either, which was a bit unusual given she had plenty of time. She glanced at the clock then put away her vibrator. Picking up a book from the bedside table, she began reading something by Nietzsche. She wasn’t into it.

I could have been ignoring him. Or talking to someone else, she thought, trying to justify her silence and hoping the strange man wouldn’t go around blabbing that she was fake. I’m allowed to ignore him if I think he was rude, aren’t I?

She was sure he was being rude, asking questions the way he did. Or at least she was justified in thinking he was, and then ignoring him. Yes, she thought, that’s my story.

Putting down the book, she pulled on her nightie and switched out the bedside light. Lying on her back with her head resting on a soft pillow, she stared at the ceiling, wondering if she was cheating herself by separating her real life from her online life. It ‘would’ be more exciting if someone were interested in ME, rather than some air-headed waitress with big hooters, she thought. She wrinkled her nose. But it was fun being Naughtygirl. It was also underhanded. She was fooling the men she was with. It was certainly no way to start a real relationship. Was she once again subconsciously keeping herself from doing that? She sighed and reminded herself that most of the men in the chat rooms were dickheads anyway.

MasterServant didn’t seem like a dickhead though. Maybe he was a bit pushy, and annoying with his clever and incisive words. But what about his name? Was he some kind of an expert servant or something? Like a butler? Yeah right. Elaine realised she hadn’t even read his profile.

She had seen couples in the chat rooms. One girl’s profile said she had been with her man for two years and hoped one day to meet him in person. At the time Elaine thought the idea was ridiculous, and definitely not for her. Surely they’d get bored, she imagined. Tossing and turning, sleep seemed to elude her.

Maybe I could make up another nickname. Something closer to the truth… something that I can at least defend vigorously if I’m ever asked questions like that again. It wouldn’t hurt. I should give it a whirl. And maybe I’ll get less of those vulgar messages Naughtygirl always seemed to get.

She smiled at the thought, and her eyelids suddenly felt like they weighed a ton. In minutes she was asleep.

******************************

Being honest will make you more vulnerable.

Elaine’s conscience was trying to talk her out of the idea as she booted up her computer and headed for the chat rooms. The other girls had left to go Sunday grocery shopping and she was glad it wasn’t her turn. She woke up remembering exactly what she had planned and after a late breakfast she found herself sitting in front of her computer, logged in, and clicking on the link titled, ‘Make a New Nickname’.

She tried lots of combinations, hoping to pick something attractive that suited her. Everything she came up with was either depressing or boring. Or funny, which missed the point of making a new name. She was about to give up when it dawned on her.

kurious.

The ‘k’ made her a bit quirky, which she was, with her weird attraction to candles and sandalwood, not to mention her anti-designer dress sense. Well, except for lingerie. She had a definite liking for anything that made her feel sexy. Concealed lacy underthings certainly did that. Also, she wanted to say she was shy, thus she changed the first letter from a capital to a small one.

Also kurious spoke of her nature. She was curious. Very curious. About lots of things. She kept her profile simple and to the point. She hoped it sounded sexy enough to at least get her a few nibbles.

’20-year-old college girl, passing time but not wasting it. Not looking for anything specific, just friendly people. Open-minded, a bit shy, and yes, curious. Message me if you are genuine.’

As she clicked ‘Accept’, she thought, ‘In for a penny, in for a pound‘.

When she entered the chat rooms under her new name, she was unnoticed by those who usually greeted her. A few people welcomed her and one even asked if she’d been there before. “Not really,” Elaine replied. She ignored one idiot who sent her a private message asking her if she was curious about his ten-inch dick. He probably has a cock the size of a thimble, she thought, remembering MasterServant’s words.

Until then, she hadn’t given much thought to ‘honesty on the net’. For some reason she felt oddly proud of herself. kurious was her. It was kind of liberating, not having to maintain a persona. And much easier to remember what she had said to whom. People seemed much nicer to kurious.

Elaine thought she’d had a nice time, just talking to people and ignoring the rude ones. She figured it cut both ways and she blocked people who were out of line. It was a sedate visit, but also satisfying. She felt better about the person she was projecting on the net, and therefore felt better about herself. In less than an hour, all the regulars seemed to like her ‘just as she was’ and asked her to come back soon. As she was preparing to leave, MasterServant entered the lobby, greeted a couple of people, then slipped into a chat room called The BDSM Room.

Strangely, Elaine’s heart raced. She wanted to follow him and talk to him some more. At least this time she could argue that she was exactly like her profile described. But then he’d probably guess it was her. She’d be caught, and he’d be proved right. The scenario didn’t appeal to Elaine at all. Maybe he would notice her again some day and she could just start over.

Oh well, she thought as she clicked out of the chat rooms and opened a paper she was working on. Her determination didn’t last long. She didn’t much like the Accountancy class she was in, and soon found she wasn’t in the mood to study.

With a sudden thought, she opened an Internet page and typed in the URL for Google and hitting return. Elaine typed BDSM in the query box and waited a moment for the search to be processed. Her eyes widened as she read the first choice Google had selected for her. She glanced up to the corner of the page and she was shocked to see five and a half million results had been generated.

Five and a half million?

She swallowed and reread the first ‘hit’.

“Spanking and bondage?” Elaine asked aloud. “What the hell?” The second ‘hit’ began with a definition, but she only could read a few lines then it stopped mid-sentence. She’d have to click on the link to see the rest. Her cursor hovered over it as she quickly read down the list of results. They all sounded similar.

Click.

**************************

Elaine checked her watch and realised she’d been following links and reading voraciously for two hours. So many things had caught her eye. It was amazing. Like a whole new world had opened before her. She never knew any of this even existed. Well that wasn’t exactly true, but almost everything she had known was wrong. People didn’t just beat on others for a thrill without the others consent. In fact, from what she’d read, very little at all could be done without someone’s consent. First of all they’d have to consent to what was going to be done, then it would happen. She hadn’t thought there was any structure at all.

Elaine knew the terms masochist and sadist. She knew they were names for the ‘fetishes’ of real people. She just figured that for some sick reason, there were people who actually liked being beaten on, so they sought out people who liked beating. It had all seemed quite unimaginable before she’d begun reading.

‘Spanking’ had done it though. Well, ‘Introduction to Spanking’ actually. When the list of articles popped up on her screen and she read down the headings, her jaw dropped and her heart rate accelerated. When she got to the end of the list, her eyes settled on the one titled, ‘Introduction to Spanking’. Elaine could feel her cheeks starting to burn as the humiliating image of herself draped over Kendra’s lap and receiving a spanking passed across her blurred eyes. Her nipples tingled and screwed into hard little points. Clicking the link and trying to breathe normally, she realised she was wet between her legs.

With refocussed eyes, Elaine consumed the text and was surprised by the amount of it, the attached advice articles, and the quality of the information. And it was all on a relatively large and apparently respected site.

There weren’t any pictures though, but Elaine didn’t mind. The pictures in her mind were enough.

Spanking and bondage, flogging, tickling, foot worship, caning, which she did NOT read about. Limits, contracts, play parties, dominants, submissives. The list was endless. She was fascinated in a voyeuristic kind of way. It was just ‘stuff she didn’t know’. That’s all. Or at least that’s how she justified spending two hours reading about it.

After all, she was kurious.

Chapter 03

Elaine enjoyed being kurious. She could be true to herself. That’s what she liked most. The shy, mild-mannered virgin was much closer to her heart than the loud, slutty Naughtygirl. Whereas Naughtygirl ‘took it up the ass with glee’, kurious was more interested in actually getting to know people.

She decided to ‘retire’ Naughtygirl. She didn’t think she’d be missed, despite the attentions of Eight Inch Adonis and others. She was right. No one ever asked about her. Being right didn’t make Elaine feel good. Just cheap.

The nature of her relationship with the Internet changed almost overnight. As Naughtygirl, to begin with it was like going to a great big party. Everyone was friendly and welcoming and the guys were hot for her. Now she saw Naughtygirl as one of the girls who ‘put out’ at a party that happened every week. It just wasn’t the same. Briefly contemplating the ‘throw-away society’, she decided that being a slut, even online, wasn’t much fun.

“Knock, knock!” Kendra said in a singsong voice, tapping on Elaine’s open door with her fingernails and pushing it open. “We’re going now. Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

The tone of the question convinced Elaine to hold her ground. They made her feel uncomfortable, as though they were putting up with her. Being a glorified taxi driver for giggling roommates was highly overrated.

But it did make sense. They saved on taxi money. Maybe it was all in her head, but Elaine always felt like a burden when she went out with Kendra and Chelsea. As though she cramped their style. She always seemed to be the one left watching the purses. And by the end of the evening she’d be sitting alone at their chosen table, watching her roommates have ‘one last dance’ with men at least as drunk as they were. It usually took an hour.

The worst part was actually trying to leave. Being the designated driver could be incredibly frustrating, and neither of her roommates was sober enough to care. Right in the parking lot Chelsea and Kendra would kiss and cuddle a seemingly endless procession of guys. Elaine could only shake her head watching the sly ones rejoin the end of the queue. Waiting inside the car was safer. She didn’t want to be mistaken for a kissing booth attendant. But Chelsea and Kendra didn’t seem to mind. As ‘regulars’, they knew everyone. Even with a headache, Elaine would wait patiently, fucking around with the radio and trying to find something that would distract her at two-thirty in the morning. After two such evenings in a row, Elaine had decided she needed a break from Spotlight, the local nightclub.

“Thanks, but no. I have a few things I want to do tonight. You guys have fun.”

“Oh, we will. Maybe I’ll see you later, if you’re up… or not,” Kendra said with a sly wink.

By the time Elaine realised she was blushing her bedroom door was closed.

The ‘lipstick on the vibrator incident’ fortunately hadn’t been mentioned during the week. Chelsea seemed oblivious. Conversely, Kendra had apparently begun flashing Elaine. Well, not flashing exactly, although she had seen most of a nipple. It was almost like Kendra was teasing. Elaine had no idea why.

The words Kendra had chosen were the first referring to Elaine’s masturbation session and humiliating discovery. Once her heart had calmed, she was a bit pissed off at her roommate.

Couldn’t she just leave it alone?

Elaine swallowed, remembering how Kendra had stepped one leg out wide as she stood up from the kitchen table that morning. Her robe had parted clear to the top of her thighs, exposing the stretched white cotton over her bulging mound to Elaine’s stunned gaze. “Oops! Oh, jeez… Elaine,” Kendra had whispered, a wicked smile playing at the corner of her lips. “Must you stare?”

“Hmmm?” Chelsea had asked from across the table. Thankfully she’d been blissfully unaware, as usual.

“Yeah, c’mon, Elaine. No panties for a week. You can do it. Or are you too chicken?”

“No way. I’m not walking around campus without panties, no way, no how. You guys do what you want, count me out.”

“Aw, c’mon, Elaine,” whimpered Kendra, swinging her left knee side to side. Flashes of white confirmed to Elaine that Kendra was doing it again, but she dared not look. Chelsea couldn’t see anything from where she was sitting, and Elaine had no idea what to say.

“I don’t think so,” she finally croaked, standing and pushing in her chair. She was determined to escape the feeling of being trapped. “It’d be too embarrassing. I… I gotta take a shower.” With that, the strangest moment of the week had passed.

Last Wednesday evening Kendra had the nipple slip incident while they were all watching Desperate Housewives, but that it for the flashing. Maybe Elaine was imagining it. She felt sure that Kendra was pushing her buttons, trying to make her react or something. Elaine remembered the question Kendra had put to her last weekend, the morning after the vibrator episode. ‘Are your nipples hard?’

Elaine sighed. Of course they had been. They were hard on and off most days. Thatwasn’t unusual. What was unusual was Kendra’s direct manner. The first semester of living together had been completely uneventful. She’d never put Elaine on the spot like that before, and Elaine hadn’t liked it, no matter how hard her nipples were. But what Elaine found most disconcerting, was Kendra’s apparent ability to nail her on the humiliation thing. What had she said, Elaine wondered, frowning and trying to remember.

“Oh, c’mon. I’m just having some fun with you. You know you like it.”

The words rang in her ears.

She sat forward in her computer chair and typed in the URL for the story site she liked. She wondered why she hadn’t thought of this before. When the site popped up on her screen, she looked down the list of links, looking for a ‘search’ function. She found it and clicked, being transported to a page with various alternatives to narrow down her search. At the bottom of the page was a simple ‘keywords’ search and she typed in ’embarrassment’, and pressed return.

Her heart started beating hard when she was presented with no less than one hundred and ninety-one references to ’embarrassment’ in the stories posted on the site. It wasn’t long before she was naked, leisurely stroking her sex while her turgid nipples ached. Some of the stories were horrible, forcibly humiliating a girl against her wishes. They were… well, mean. And nasty too, some of them.

The best ones seemed to be in the BDSM category. She came across one story about an older woman, about thirty-five, who wanted to do all kinds of things but couldn’t unless she was told. If she were told, she could obey, effectively shifting responsibility for her embarrassment or humiliation to the man who ordered her to obey. She wasn’t ‘bad’, or ‘nasty’ or ‘loose’ or ‘slutty’. She was just ‘obedient’. She just did as she was told. Then she could live with the pleasure such situations gave her. She felt free, unshackled from her tormented past, free from the guilt she had felt when she fantasised about these things.

And she had intense orgasms.

Elaine could relate. But she couldn’t see how she could possibly be surreptitiously masturbated in a museum without causing a riot.

“Hmmm, no panties,” Elaine murmured to herself, tracing the lips of her wet pussy with a fingernail.

In most of the stories the women, as they were almost invariably women, went without underwear. The thought of being the only person in a room without underwear warmed Elaine to the core. Protagonists in the stories answered so many of the questions she had. ‘Couldn’t anyone tell? Couldn’t they smell pussy? Wouldn’t her nipples get painfully hard and take ages to go down?’

Elaine rolled her pink tongue around her dry mouth and swallowed nervously. Fuck, I’m so horny. She was only half way through the story of the thirty-five year old when she looked up and realised the author was MasterServant.

She blinked with surprise. Biting her lip, she bookmarked the story in her ‘favourites’ and clicked on the author’s bio page. Ripples of tumult attacked her stomach and her clit throbbed as she crossed her legs. Fingers shaking, Elaine’s jaw dropped when he mentioned his hometown. She couldn’t believe her eyes. It was two towns over, maybe a thirty to forty-minute drive.

That was close. She hadn’t realised she was squirming. Stilling herself, she opened his submissions page. There were about thirty short stories there, most of which came under the BDSM category. Reopening his bio in a new page, she read every word over and over. His name was Gary. He didn’t give his surname. He was thirty-four years old and had been involved in ‘the lifestyle’ for six years. Speaking honestly, he went on to mention how he had struggled with his role in Dominance and submission, and was seeking a sensual woman who was willing to learn how to please him. He said he was unmarried and currently single, ‘but that might change’. He directed those who wished to contact him to use the email link provided.

There was no way Elaine was going to write to him when he lived that close. He could be crazy, or a psychopath. She giggled nervously. She didn’t think he was. He sounded like a Dominant, but she wasn’t sure. He hadn’t said it straight out. Reading the bio again, she caught the words, ‘willing to please me’.

Ahh, she thought, a light switching on in her brain. So he IS a Dominant. It was exciting to have a Dominant so close by. And scary.

She started at the top of the page and read eight stories that night. By the fourth story, she had to stop and masturbate. By the fifth story, she was almost constantly shaking. After reading the sixth story, about a spanking, she had retrieved her vibe and teased herself with it at her computer. A first for her. By the end of the eighth story, she was masturbating openly while reading, imagining being tied up and toyed with, like the character in the story.

He was an excellent writer. He described things so well, especially the woman’s fears and doubts. In the stories, his men were reassuring and firm, loving and demanding. Elaine liked every word that came from his talented pen, but she liked the men he described the best. They were at times tender and forgiving, and at others so hard and unyielding. And they were lovers. His descriptions made Elaine cream.

At the climax of the eighth story, where the submissive was being fucked while her arms were bound behind her back, Elaine gritted her teeth. She desperately wanted to finish the story. The girl hadn’t been allowed to cum. Elaine was sure she’d be allowed before the end. She had to be. It would be too cruel to deny her after all she’d been through. Besides, Elaine’s hungry pussy was spasming in frustration, perspiration dripping down between her breasts. With shaking hands, she continued to tease herself, touching her vibe to her clit in the same way the man in the story was doing. Teasing. Tormenting.

She was as determined as the girl in the tale. She wouldn’t cum until she had permission. Once she had permission, she could cum. She could cum hard. As hard as she wanted. A terrible knot of anxiety would itself around her stomach, her asshole beginning to twitch as she was bearing down on the last few lines of the story.

Surely he won’t deny her. Surely!

Her anxiety leapt into her throat as the girl squealed with need against his instructions to be silent, and Elaine almost moaned aloud in frustration.

Please! Please! Let her cum! Let ME cum!

Two fingers were pistoning in and out of her flooded and throbbing pussy, her vibrator on high and hovering so close to her clit she could almost feel it. At last she read the words that told her it was all right. It was all right to be turned on beyond anything she’d ever felt. It was all right to wish it were she on the bed, tied up and blindfolded, teased and caressed beyond belief.

‘Hold it, hold it… Now cum!’ she had read.

Elaine’s vibrator crashed into her clit as her fingers impaled herself deeply. A moan began in her chest, shattering the silence, sounding like nothing she’d heard from her own lips before. Her hips began bucking as her orgasm consumed her. Throwing back her head, her body went rigid, caught in time, suspended for long seconds before finally the world around her collapsed inward. From far away she could hear herself cursing, her body thrashing like she was having a fit. The last thing she remembered was feeling her belly heave in abject pleasure as another orgasm, much larger than the first, crashed over her. She bore down on her wildly contracting vagina as a clear silky liquid sprayed from her sex. Elaine’s eyes had rolled to the back of her head and consciousness was lost.

Somehow she managed to awaken before her roommates returned home. Blinking under the harsh desk light, she was glad she was uncomfortable in her chair, doubting she would have woken had she been in bed. “Oh my God,” Elaine exclaimed aloud, remembering the mess she’d made. And the smell! Her bedroom smelled like hot cunt! Elaine giggled, then gasped at the sound of the front door noisily opening and closing. Oh, no! She grabbed her perfume from the top of her chest of drawers, sprayed it quickly around then flicked off the desk lamp before hurriedly throwing herself into bed.

Her heart beat loudly in her chest and her breathing was ragged. Pulling the covers up under her chin, she held her breath, hearing the girls giggling all the way down the hall. Nails tapped quietly on her door and the handle turned.

“Elaine!” Kendra whispered as the door pushed open. “Yoohoo- awwww. She must be asleep.”

Elaine was so relieved when the thin sliver of light by the door started to shrink. And she couldn’t believe she’d almost been caught playing with herself at her computer. Naked! Adrenaline pounded through her veins. Just then the door stopped closing.

“Can you smell something?” asked Kendra.

Elaine heard someone sniff loudly.

“It smell slike pushy,” said Chelsea drunkenly.

“Mmmmm,” said one of them, causing stifled laughter and hushes.

Elaine’s cheeks burned. How was she going to live this down? When her door finally closed, she reached up and set her alarm for early the next morning. She was notgoing to be embarrassed again. She would clean and scrub till her hands were raw before either of them arose. Maybe they’d been too drunk to remember. Chelsea sounded like she’d had a big night and she was a ‘possible’. Swallowing, Elaine realised Kendra had sounded quite sober, and would no doubt have more comments to make, especially if Elaine failed to air her room and scrub the carpet. How humiliating, she thought, setting the alarm a half hour earlier. She’d do such a good job no one would be able to tell and she could deny everything, saying they imagined it. She wrinkled her nose. It really did reek, even after the perfume.

You’re a squirter, she thought to herself, lying in bed. Remembering something MasterServant had mentioned in one of his stories, she rearranged the thought. ‘This girl’ is a squirter.

Elaine had thought she’d ‘squirted’ last weekend. There wasn’t much evidence. Her bedclothes had a wet patch but she was always juicy, so that wasn’t out of the ordinary. She had wondered how much ‘cleaning up’ Kendra had done. But she hadn’t asked her. That would have been, ugh. Yuck.

But the proof was in the pudding. She’d really done it this time. Just as she’d felt that incredible second orgasm hit, something twisted and seized inside her, clamping down hard. Her fingers had been in her pussy, two of them, deeply. She hadn’t had time to be astonished at what happened next. Almost simultaneously her pussy had sprayed its payload in all directions and she’d lost consciousness.

She’d have to visit that website again; the one that described the sexual/medical conditions, and find out about it. And she wanted to know if it was normal to tighten up as much as she did. Her fingers were still sore.

She fell asleep.

****************************

The next morning was April the twenty-ninth. Elaine had woken with a start, thanks to her shrill alarm clock. She turned it off quickly, but she doubted her hung over roommates would have heard. She bounced out of bed and was a little surprised by how weak her legs felt. Her jaw dropped as she approached her computer, pulling on her robe and tying its sash. There were ‘water marks’ everywhere. All over the desk, keyboard and monitor. Under and behind her desk was a mess, but she was pleased to see the carpet hadn’t stained.

Elaine snuck into the hall and down to the kitchen on tiptoes, her heart fluttering. Passing by Kendra’s room, she was relieved to hear her blissfully snoring. She retrieved the cleaning products she required and returned soundlessly to her room. As a precaution, she checked that her computer was still functioning. She was pleased to see it was. Unplugging it, she set about cleaning up the mess she’d made.

She was almost done, just giving the skirting board a final wipe, when she heard someone say something and she jerked, bumping her head on the underside of the desk. “Owww,” she complained, rubbing it. “You startled me!” Backing out on hands and knees, her robe caught on the leg of the desk and in a second had revealed her ass to whoever was behind her.

In a flash she’d emptied her hands and made it to her knees, blushing furiously and fixing her robe. Kendra was standing over her. Elaine’s nipples tightened on her flushed chest as she pulled at her robe.

“Nice view,” said Kendra condescendingly, her hip cocked and arms crossed. “I just came in to ask if you’ve seen the Spray ‘n Wipe,” she giggled. “I can’t seem to find it anywhere, and stupid Chelsea didn’t make it to the toilet again.” Elaine couldn’t find her voice to respond. “Ah,” continued Kendra. “Here it is.”

She leaned down right in front of Elaine to pick up the pump-action bottle, her robe falling away from her chest, revealing more and more of her cleavage. She kept her eyes on Elaine’s the whole time, and Elaine couldn’t help but glance. When Kendra leaned up and held out her hand, offering to help Elaine from the floor, the kneeling brunette took it gratefully.

Both on their feet, Kendra held on for a moment, whispering, “I’m glad you chose to join our dare. It’s today till next Friday. First one to buckle has to run the stairs naked at midday on Sunday.”

“I… I…”

“Yes, I know you’re excited. You always are, aren’t you Elaine?” Kendra teased, glancing at Elaine’s nipples, made turgid by the rush of humiliation. Holding the bedroom door as she exited, Kendra turned and raised her eyebrow. “I hope you’re not turning lezzie on us.”

Elaine wanted to cry. Kendra seemed to be invading her space and she didn’t know how to complain about it. She couldn’t find the words, not with her standing there. Not with what she already knew. Grabbing a fresh towel, Elaine ran to the shower and washed quickly. She was glad it wasn’t a hair-washing day. Flashing her ass at Kendra seemed worse than last weekend. This time she’d been caught in the act. Her pussy was so wet she couldn’t believe it. When she was done, she unhooked the shower rose and pointed it at her stiff little clit while she rolled a rock hard nipple, bringing herself off in less than ninety seconds. She had to. She couldn’t have stood the pressure. She didn’t think she squirted but she wasn’t sure.

Standing in front of her chest of drawers, Elaine had selected a pair of plain hipsters and hesitated, staring at them. As if on autopilot, she returned them to the drawer, picking up her small frilly white bra, hooking it in front of herself before twisting it around and fitting it. She shook her head.

It won’t be hard. It might even be fun.

If I’m going to do this, I better not pick something that might stain. My black jeans should be okay. God, they’re a bit tight though. And it’s a bit hot out for them. Oh well.

Adding a navy blue Green Day t-shirt with pink flip-flops, she gelled her hair roughly. Light pink lipstick completed the look. All was well.

She needed to go get milk and bread. And batteries, she remembered. Pulling her bedroom door closed behind her, one of the girls must have heard and called out, “Hey, Elaine! Come here!” The voice came from Chelsea’s room down the hall and Elaine followed it. Kendra and Chelsea were sorting through Chelsea’s clothes, and Elaine stood in the doorway.

“We’re deciding what we can wear for the rest of the week,” Kendra said, eying Elaine up and down.

“We’re doing Kendra’s next. Do you want to help?” Chelsea asked.

“Ah, no. It’s okay. Do you guys need anything from the store?”

“Oh, c’mon, Elaine. Kendra said you were in on the dare. It’ll be fun!”

“You are in on the dare, right, Elaine?” Kendra asked, a glint in her eye.

“You have to prove it,” said Chelsea, giggling more and picking up the edge of her summer dress, lifting it to her hips.

Elaine averted her eyes and swallowed, trying not to look. “Just take my word for-”

“Checking is allowed at any time,” stated Kendra firmly. “And we’re picking out clothes. The rule is you have to wear what you normally wear. A full set for the week is chosen, and you can wear them in any order or combination. Cold weather means ‘apartment meeting’. Still in?”

“Um, okay.”

“Cool!” said Chelsea, returning to her closet.

“Come on then, unzip and prove it. We haven’t got all day.”

Meekly Elaine stepped into the room, feeling her chest tighten as she reached for the button on her jeans. “You can’t see a panty line,” she mumbled to herself.

Chelsea poked her head out. “C’mon Elaine, be a sport. It’s nothing either of us hasn’t seen before!”

Kendra snorted.

Elaine tried hard not to hyperventilate. Did Chelsea mean they’d both seen her that night? She unzipped halfway and pulled her jeans waistband out and down at the side while Kendra peered closely. “Okay, she’s legit. It’s game on.” Sighing and tucking in her shirt again, she was mortified when Kendra spoke. “Don’t you want to check me?”

“No,” Elaine almost gasped. “Ah, it’s okay. I believe you.”

“I thought you might. Oh, and we voted on a new rule. Loser gets a Brazilian before they do the stairs run.”

“Y… You’re kidding,” Elaine managed, her mouth dry.

“Nope,” said Chelsea, emerging from her wardrobe with an armful of short skirts and t-shirts. “We already voted.”

“You’re on,” Elaine said, feeling more false bravado than she’d ever had. She had to make sure she didn’t lose, but for now she just wanted to get out of there.

“Cool,” said Kendra with a wink, handing Elaine a ten dollar note. “Can you get me some cigarettes while you’re at the store?”

“I’m going to mix the tobacco with some pot I have. Chelsea and I have some dates coming to pick us up before we go to the club tonight. I thought I might roll a couple of joints and I don’t want the guys getting too high. Okay, Mom?” Kendra asked, glaring, but with a hint of humour.

“Uh, yeah. Sure. Sorry.”

“And while you’re out we’ll sort through your clothes. You can check and change anything before you accept your week’s wardrobe, but it has to be what you’d normally wear.”

“Yeah, sure,” replied Elaine. “Whatever.”

The short walk down to the local store didn’t take long. Elaine’s apartment was in a building of sixteen, all of which were identical or mirror images of each other. On one side of the four story building, a wide roughly square concrete and stainless steel staircase wound its way to the ground. The girls lived in a complex of four such buildings, all of which had staircases facing a central courtyard-type area. It was standard ‘on campus’ living quarters. Elaine didn’t like it much but she couldn’t afford to move out. Still, it was convenient and central to the bright lights of downtown.

The 7-11 was only a two-block walk from the apartment, but it wasn’t considered safe at night. If it weren’t daytime, Elaine wouldn’t have risked it alone. Although it had been a year since the last reported incident, there were always rumours. But nothing usually happened.

Except when she passed the adult shop. As she always did, Elaine wondered what it might be like inside. Thoughts of all the things they must have in there made her nervous and curious. Every time she passed by she dared herself to go in and take a look, but she could never find the courage. Good girls didn’t do that.

The woman at the 7-11 checkout counter smirked. It was the same one from last Wednesday, thought Elaine as she reddened, paying for her groceries. And batteries. God, did I break a mirror or something?

At least she remembered Kendra’s cigarettes.

Chapter 04

Leaving the store, Elaine stepped off the kerb and blinked in surprise. With the added length in her stride as she stepped down from the gutter to cross the road, the seam down the middle of her jeans parted her labia, pressing more firmly against her clit. She hoped she wouldn’t chafe. Shorter steps lessened the pressure, but lengthened the walk. She rued the couple of extra pounds on her ass left over from last winter. Her jeans felt like a hand holding her crotch. Combined with the rhythmic undulations of her hips as she walked, she was quickly taken to the next level of sexual arousal. Her breath quickened, her cheeks flushed, and goose flesh broke out on her arms in the warm sun.

She passed one guy who noticed. His eyes lingered between her legs as he walked in the opposite direction. Elaine hated those unsolicited hungry looks. He mumbled something that sounded like, ‘camel toe, ‘ but she wasn’t sure. Whatever it was it didn’t make any sense anyway. Without acknowledging him she continued walking straight past, staring petulantly ahead, safe behind her dark sunglasses.

She glanced over her shoulder and confirmed he wasn’t following her. Breathing again, she stopped a moment to catch her breath, her thighs lightly trembling. It was the second time she’d ‘stopped for a minute’. When she finally felt ready to face the last hundred yards home, Elaine realised she was only two doors from the Adult Emporium. Hesitating, she quickly glanced up and down the road, then snuck inside as butterflies took flight in her stomach.

Of course it was dingy and lit with fluorescent globes, one of which was flickering. Elaine put her sunglasses on top of her head and wandered around trying to calm herself.

Breathe! Breathe!

She’d never seen so much porn. Glancing around, it appeared she was alone in the store. There wasn’t even anyone behind the counter. As casually as she could, she walked down an aisle, scanning all the lurid titles and covers of pornographic magazines, then videos, and finally DVDs. Within a minute they all looked the same and Elaine wondered how someone picked out something they liked. The thought didn’t get the chance to gel before she noticed a large toy cabinet against the back wall. Intrigued, she made her way over and found to her delight that there were two large standing cabinets, and one waist-high display cabinet containing BDSM gear. Elaine leaned down to get a closer look. While turning her head sideways to read the text written on the packaging of one product, someone suddenly materialised before her.

“Can I help you, dear?”

Elaine’s heart jumped. The last thing she expected was a woman in her fifties wearing a smart white button-down blouse over a navy blue straight skirt. She could have been working in a drug store. The jewellery was a little gaudy, certainly not Elaine’s style, but with her wide smile and open face, Elaine felt welcome immediately. “I don’t really know,” she said apologetically, trying to control the desire to take a huge lungful of air.

The woman grinned, shaking her head, her dyed auburn hair dancing. “You know, dear. You’re the third college girl in here this week fawning over the BDSM stuff. What’s the world coming to?” she asked, winking conspiratorially.

Elaine glanced quickly around, confirming to her relief that she was in fact the only person in the store. “Do, um… Do you know anything about any of this?”

“Sure, honey. What would you like to know?” She had already opened the cabinet and was taking out a whole host of items, placing them on top of the glass cabinet in a row.

“I’d like to know anything you’d like to tell me,” Elaine replied honestly.

“Well, I’m no devotee, but I’ve got a few tips I can give you…”

Fifteen minutes later Elaine exited the Adult Emporium with a package of concealed goodies hidden deep within the bag of groceries. She hadn’t taken three steps before she wondered what the hell she was doing. The heat of the day hit her like a brick, and suddenly her jeans weren’t just uncomfortable, they were a health hazard. She almost walked into a car at the next set of lights. She had to concentrate! And she had to get home and hide this stuff!

Elaine’s heart was pounding by the time she gingerly mounted the last steps of her apartment building. Perspiration had gathered on her top lip and her breathing was laboured. I am not wearing these jeans again this week. I’ll wear those new ones Mom gave me, she thought. And the next place I live better have a fucking elevator!

Elaine bit her lip as she slid the key into the lock and turned it as quietly as she could. Hurrying down the hallway, she pushed open her bedroom door and was confronted with five neat piles of clothes and a couple of outfits on her bed, still on hangers. Closing her door silently, she rolled her eyes and tossed the grocery bag on the bed next to the clothes. Quickly retrieving her baggy jeans from her dresser, she was just pulling up the zipper when there was a knock on the door.

Elaine gasped. “Just a minute!”

Almost jumping out of her skin, in a panic she thrust her hand into the grocery bag, grasped the package she couldn’t believe she’d bought, and tossed it under her bed.

“We need your agreement on your clothes!” Both of her roommates giggled as her door was pushed open.

“Come on in,” Elaine said sarcastically, picking up the grocery bag and swallowing, trying to wet her dry mouth. “You could have waited until I got back,” Elaine said, nodding at the pile of clothes then looking at Kendra. She better not have touched my vibe again.

“You can’t wear them. It’s against the rules.” Kendra’s delight was written across her face.

“I’ve never seen you wear them before, Elaine,” Chelsea agreed. “You can only wear stuff you normally wear. They’re the rules, silly.” Elaine had almost forgotten Chelsea was there.

“All right. All right. I’ll change them in a minute.”

“You can choose from what’s on the bed,” said Kendra, apparently back in ‘helpful mode’. “Is there anything you want to add?”

Elaine thought the girls had done a pretty good job actually. Her work clothes were there, her usual t-shirts and the couple of dresses she wore if it was cool out. She had two stretchy black skirts that went to mid-thigh. They didn’t ride up and should be all right. Two pairs of shorts, one short-sleeved blouse, a couple of halter tops. Her nightie. Most of her regular stuff looked like it was there. They’d even selected a couple of pairs of socks, two pairs of her black pantyhose, one pair of hold up stockings she often wore, scuffs, Doc Martens and her favourite knee-high boots.

Kendra stopped in the doorway. Turning back to Elaine, she said, “I didn’t realise you usually went braless, Elaine.”

Horrified, Elaine scanned the bed in a panic. There weren’t any bras! “Wait! You tricked me!”

“I did not. I just didn’t want to go through your intimate things,” Kendra said smugly.

“But!”

“I already reminded you about your jeans. One more mistake and you lose, Elaine. Now get those things off and come out and join us. I’m going to have to keep a close eye on you so you don’t cheat, aren’t I?” Kendra winked before exiting Elaine’s room regally, leaving the door wide open behind her.

I can’t fucking believe it. She tricked me. What a dufus.

Elaine sighed, walking over to the door and closing it. It wasn’t like she’d never gone braless. She sometimes did in winter. But not in summer. And not without panties. She giggled. Well, not in public!

Argh!

Turning back to the bed, she cursed her decent legs, and her failure to usually clad them in long pants. The only other pair she ‘usually wore’ was her work pants. The black jeans she had on were okay with underwear. She quite liked wearing them actually. She picked up her knee-length, dark green skirt and changed quickly. Lastly she put away her week’s clothes in the empty bottom drawer in her dresser, determined to win this stupid bet, not screw up, and laugh at one of the other girls as they streaked naked up and down those damned stairs.

Standing for a moment alone in her bedroom, she shook her head then smiled. Covering her mouth, she almost giggled again. She fell to her knees and reached under the bed, deciding that just about anything would be better than her roommates finding out what she’d bought.

That’s what she had to remind herself. What was it her Dad always said? ‘Don’t fret the small stuff.’

Maybe the bet and the teasing were small. Maybe she shouldn’t fret. Maybe what Kendra, and Chelsea to a lesser extent, were doing was all just ‘college girl fun’; the kind that occasionally got you into trouble but was soon forgotten. Elaine wished she knew whether she should just say ‘Stop!’ Her roommates could be exasperating. Then again, she didn’t think she was that different from them. Okay, they had far more experience with men. That was one difference.

Was ‘experience’ that important? So Elaine was probably just about the only twenty-year-old virgin going around campus with no underwear on. So what? She’d always been adventurous. Just not with boys. Surely getting a cock up her pussy wouldn’t exactly change her life. The vibrator was nice, and she was sure a heaving, muscled body thrusting a meaty cock between her thighs would be muchbetter, but wasn’t it all to do with who it was attached to? She sighed.

Anyway, her roommates’ finding her new toys was out of the question. She’d never live it down.

‘Don’t fret the small stuff.’ Had Daddy been talking about things like this?

Elaine decided against putting the brown paper package under her undies in the dresser. That’d be one of the first places they’d check, she thought. Dammit. Under my t-shirts is no good either. The way her roommates had started ‘barging in’ made her room seem like just another part of the apartment the others frequented. Like the kitchen.

It couldn’t go on.

It so couldn’t go on.

She had to say something.

Elaine nodded to herself, her decision made. I’ll tell them just as soon as I find a good spot for this stuff, she thought, her hands beginning to tremble.

When she’d finally joined her roommates in the small lounge room, the Monopoly game was all set up on the coffee table and they were waiting for her. The presence of shot glasses and the bottle of Jack Daniels made her wince.

Elaine smiled woodenly as she sat down in the single seater, diagonal to the sofa. “This looks dangerous,” she said, leaning forward, knees tightly together.

Downing one of the shots she’d just poured, Kendra said, “We’re just getting warmed up. Down a shot to pick your piece.”

“I’ve got the car,” announced Chelsea, throwing back her shot and banging the glass on the coffee table.

“I’ve got the boot,” confirmed Kendra.

“Give me the wheelbarrow,” Elaine said, sighing. Wrinkling her nose, she threw back the shot Kendra handed her. “I’m not playing for drinks,” Elaine said firmly.

“Oh, come on, spoilsport,” said Kendra. “We decided you only have to drink if you go to jail. You might go the whole game without another shot. And anyway we don’t want to be smashed before the boys even get here.”

“Might be fun,” chimed in Chelsea.

Elaine smiled at the thought. Grudgingly she agreed to the rules and the game began. Elaine listened as the two girls talked about the ‘hotties’ coming over; which one each preferred; what time they’d go out. Things like that. Certainly nothing out of the ordinary. Everything was going fine. They were all talking and giggling. Having fun.

By the time the topic of ‘what they were going to wear’ came up, they’d been playing for half an hour and Elaine was on her third trip to jail. She didn’t mind so much. She was feeling more relaxed.

“Elaine,” Kendra said ominously, filling the shot glass and passing it to her. “You didn’t put panties on before you came out here, did you?”

Steadying her hand Elaine took the glass, rolled her eyes and downed the shot. She figured she could do six or seven before she’d pass out. She wasn’t exactly a novice. Banging the glass on the table, she looked Kendra in the eye and said, “I’m no chicken. I’ll keep pace with you guys this week. I said I’d do this and I will. So there’s no need to single me out for checking.”

“I wasn’t,” smiled Kendra. “I already checked Chelsea.”

“And I checked her,” Chelsea agreed.

“Well I didn’t check either of you,” said Elaine, backing into a corner. “You could both be cheating and just playing a joke on me.”

A moment of silence was broken when Kendra looked at Chelsea and said, quite loudly, “She just wants to see our cunts.”

Chelsea’s jaw dropped and a second later she was howling with laughter, falling back on the lounge with her legs flying up in the air and proving to all that she was indeed being faithful to the bet. Elaine couldn’t help but laugh too. Kendra landed a stinging spank right on Chelsea’s exposed ass a microsecond after her legs went up. Chelsea squealed, immediately realising she’d exposed herself, and all three girls fell about in fitful giggles. They hadn’t quite stopped when Kendra did the same thing: flinging herself back on the lounge, holding the pose for seconds, glaring at Chelsea.

Chelsea just laughed, then spanked the exposed flesh, the sound ringing around the room. It was much harder than Kendra had spanked Chelsea. It stopped them laughing. Kendra grabbed her ass and rolled sideways, cursing and vowing to get Chelsea back. Elaine thought that if Kendra weren’t so obviously in pain, it would have been very funny. She and Chelsea looked at each other and tried not to laugh.

Jeez, one smack? thought Elaine. Who’s the lightweight now?

A sudden burst of self-confidence was coupled with a flagrant disregard for her dry mouth and the blush that was already rising in her cheeks. Elaine quickly stood up and flashed her roommates, then sat down just as quickly, pulling her skirt back under herself.

Chelsea started giggling, making Elaine blush even more before they all joined in. Kendra seemed a bit more subdued than normal and Elaine thought it was interesting. She figured now was as good a time as any to put her foot down.

“Um, you guys, before we get back into the game, can I bring something up?”

“Sure,” said Kendra.

“Yeah, sure,” Chelsea echoed.

“Okay, thanks. Well, my room is my space, and I’d like you guys to respect it.”

“Wha-”

“Wait a minute, I haven’t finished,” Elaine said, holding up her hand. “Don’t enter my room without my permission and no more pushing my door open without me saying it’s okay. I don’t like it, and I wouldn’t do it to you.” She was so proud of herself, and thankful for the shots. She just got on with the game, passing the dice to Chelsea and saying, “It’s your turn.”

Chelsea took the dice and rolled, saying, “Ah, thanks.” She moved onto one of Kendra’s properties and asked her, “What do I owe you?”

Kendra said, “How about ‘one ass’? I could do with a new one right about now.”

They all cracked up again. By the time they were catching their breaths the mood had definitely thawed. Passing the dice to Elaine at the end of her turn, Kendra poured shots for each of them, saying she thought they were needed.

“Sorry Elaine,” she said, holding out her drink like a toast. She downed it and Chelsea mimicked her.

Elaine joined them, feeling the burning liquor frying her throat as she swallowed. “Don’t worry about it,” she said, banging her glass on the table and throwing the dice. “That’s enough Jack for me,” she said, looking at her watch. “And you two should keep an eye on the clock if the guys are going to be here at seven.”

When the time came and the girls started getting ready, Elaine retired to her room on the pretext of studying. It was useless of course, as she couldn’t concentrate after six shots of hard liquor, even if it was over a three-hour period. She turned on her portable Radio/CD player and lay down, listening to her favourite station.

Some time later the thumping of loud music woke her, interrupting her crazy dreams. Disoriented, she checked the clock beside her bed. Nine thirty-six. For a split second she thought she had slept through the night and it was already the next morning, but one look out her window confirmed the time was P.M.

She sat up on the side of the bed and realised she needed water, now! Argh! she thought as she walked down the hallway, clapping her hands over her ears. Not Britney Spears again! Her roommates were dancing in the middle of the lounge room, while a couple of guys sat on the sofa, rolling more marijuana cigarettes. Making a beeline for the kitchen, Elaine heard Kendra squeal something at her, but she ignored it. She needed a headache pill and a big glass of water.

Someone turned down the music.

Gabbing Tylenol, a glass and some ice, Elaine thought she could hear muffled talking. As she filled her glass, Kendra came through the kitchen doorway and walked up to Elaine by the sink, rubbing her back comfortingly. Her breath smelled like Jack Daniels and pot. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Just a headache.”

“So you won’t be coming out with us?”

“Yeah, right,” Elaine said dismissively.

“Okay. Hey look!” Kendra stepped back a pace and lifted the front of her miniskirt, baring her shaved mound, right there in the kitchen with two guys in the next room!

Elaine was mortified, but she could hardly take her eyes away. Swallowing the last of her water, she turned back to the sink and refilled the glass. Anything to get the image out of her mind! “It’s fine! Now please. For God’s sake, put your skirt down. Jesus, Kendra. What would someone think?”

“Don’t be silly. It’s just a game. Come on. Now you.”

“I don’t feel like it right now. And not here. This is ridiculous.”

“Okay, then I guess I get the honours of doing the Brazilian. Do you want to be strapped down or will you be a good little girl and lay still? I can’t wait to send out invitations to your streaking debut,” said Kendra, starting to turn on her heels, making for the doorway.

“Wait!” hissed Elaine. Kendra stopped, turned and faced her. “I’ll do it. But this game is getting boring.” With one hand holding her glass of water, Elaine raised her hem slowly with the other, watching Kendra’s eyes. Kendra was staring between Elaine’s legs. “Um, enough?”

“Am I?” asked Elaine innocently, looking down and casting a critical eye over her little thatch of black pussy hair. She wasn’t really. Realising at once what she was doing, she dropped the hem, smoothed it down and blushed crimson. When she glanced up at Kendra, she almost dropped the glass of iced water. Kendra was smiling smugly with her arms crossed. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was the humiliating looks the other three were giving her, leering over Kendra’s shoulders. “Oh my God! You bitch!” cried Elaine, rushing past them in a panic, leaving their mean laughter behind. Slamming her bedroom door behind her, she dove onto her bed and cried hot tears of anguish.

Kendra is a witch!

Five minutes later, Chelsea tapped on Elaine’s door, calling out and waiting patiently for a response.

“Come in,” Elaine sighed, defeated.

Chelsea entered and paused, then walked over and sat on the side of Elaine’s bed. “We’re going soon,” she said softly. “Don’t expect us back tonight. We already decided to fuck them.” Elaine couldn’t think of anything nice to say, so she said nothing. Chelsea filled the void. “Hey. Don’t think for a minute that you’re alone, okay?”

Elaine had been facing away from Chelsea, lying on her tummy. “What do you mean?” she asked, moving onto her elbows and twisting around, looking up at her blonde roommate.

“Kendra’s been giving me a hard time too, you know. She gets off on it I think.”

“I wish she’d just fuck off,” Elaine said, sniffling.

“Just pick your moment. Did you see her face when I hesitated before slapping her ass? That was priceless. And boy, was my hand stinging! Imagine what her ass must have felt like. Um, I mean…”

Elaine giggled and so did Chelsea. “I think it’s the first time I’ve seen Kendra blush!” Elaine said, a reluctant smile breaking across her face.

“She probably liked it,” retorted Chelsea, winking.

Elaine didn’t know what to say to that. So she asked, “What did you mean, ‘pick your moment’? Do you mean I should get her back?”

“Hush,” said Chelsea, stroking Elaine’s back and urging her to lie back down.

“Mmmm… That feels good,” Elaine whispered, closing her eyes. It felt so nice she almost fell asleep again.

Almost.

The apartment was quiet. Sitting up on the side of her bed, Elaine shook her head. She ventured out briefly, confirming she was blissfully alone. A sigh of relief escaped her lungs. In the lounge room she switched off the murmuring music system and headed back to her room.

What’s that? she wondered, spying something thin and white under the coffee table. It was joint. She hadn’t had one in ages. The last time hadn’t been so good, but at least this time she’d be alone. Taking the joint back to her room, she placed it on the desk beside her and turned on her computer, making her way to the College website. The joint was promptly forgotten.

Elaine posted eloquent responses to a couple of questions regarding her comment on the virtue of Jean-Paul Sartre’s profound and poignant La Nausée as ‘the birth of Existentialism’ rather than the more obtuse and satirical Being and Nothingness.

She kind of liked Philosophy, but it always exhausted her. Instead of opening her term paper and starting work on it, she closed the open windows and sat back in her chair, rubbing her temples.

I need another pill, she thought, rising and heading for the kitchen.

One more Tylenol later, she sat back in her chair before the computer, a fresh tall glass of water beside her, half full of ice. Elaine was starting to feel better, but she wasn’t in the mood for schoolwork.

She headed for the chat rooms.

She wasn’t sure why. She hoped it would be nice, quiet, and friendly. It was, and she was having fun. She’d made a couple of friends, and one was there. Simone from Vancouver, who went by the name of ‘acquiescent’, told her a couple of jokes about George Bush and Elaine found herself giggling out loud.

“Why don’t you come visit in the BDSM room?” Simone had asked in a private message. Sometimes her English made Elaine smile.

“I don’t think so. Too many weirdos,” Elaine had sent back.

“Hey, I resemble that!” Simone messaged, adding a smiling face.

“I don’t mean you. I didn’t know you went there.”

“Look at my name.”

“I don’t even know what your name means!”

“It means ‘I give in’. I’m not sure about the English. I submit.”

“You submit?”

“Yes, I am, how you say, submissive.”

“You are?”

“Yes.”

“What is it like?”

“What is it like?”

“Yes, what is it like?”

“It is like nothing. It is everything. It gives me… definition. You know?”

“Definition. Okay, yeah. I think I understand.” Elaine had no idea what she was talking about.

“Come with me. It is friendly,” Simone urged.

“I think it’s friendly enough here in the lobby.”

“You don’t understand. I mean… you will like it. Please?”

Elaine sighed. She was kurious after all. Being honest was her new mantra. “Okay, I want to go. I’ve been reading a little. Not much. But if I get accosted, I’m blaming you.”

“Really?”

“Um, yes. I didn’t know what BDSM was.”

“Ah. Okay. Well, anyone who accosts you is not a Dom and you have permission to treat them as the fuckwit they are.”

“LOL,” Elaine sent back.

“True!” typed Simone. “Don’t take any um, shit! Leave if you don’t like it. And don’t compromise. Only call someone Sir, or Ma’am, if you feel like it. No one may demand anything. Submission is given, not taken.”

“Okay, okay. You’ve convinced me.”

“I’ll hold your hand.”

“Thanks, Simone.”

“You are welcome. Oh, and type people’s names exactly as they appear. Names with capitals are the Doms and Dommes. Names with little letters are the subs.”

“I could never be a Dom.”

“I didn’t think so,” said Simone. “Come on, I’ll protect you.”

In moments they had both clicked on the BDSM room link, and people of both genders were flinging greetings at Elaine like she’d never seen before. Almost every person there said hello.

“Well, it’s like, too friendly. It feels like a cult. Like everyone’s eyes are as big as saucers.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Do you know Amway?”

“Non.”

“Um, never mind.”

“Okay.”

acquiescent proceeded to introduce kurious to those present and lots of different people asked her friendly and playful questions. One girl called ‘Sir Tim’s helena’, said Elaine was welcome to come anytime, to observe quietly or to participate. Sensible questions were welcome and there was no such thing as a silly one.

Elaine thanked her as more of the world of BDSM opened before her eyes.

Observing quietly, Elaine watched as Simone was caught up in the various conversations that evolved in the room. The people with capitals, as a whole, commanded the respect of those without, though a couple of people entered the room and were treated ruthlessly. Not just by one person, but sometimes as a group. At least the subs are respected too, Elaine thought.

“Having fun?” Simone messaged, out of the blue.

“It’s fascinating.”

“Any questions?”

“Hundreds.”

“Hehe. Ask me one.”

“Well, what’s the significance of the capitals?”

“Oh let me see. Some would say it shows respect, and reminds one of who they are.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Just a moment.” Seconds later, Simone had paraphrased Elaine’s question and posted it in the room. Elaine sat dumbfounded, blushing despite herself. “How can I explain the significance of capping?” Simone had typed.

Sir Tim’s helena piped up. She seemed to be one of the ‘senior’ people there. “It’s a practical method of identification, really,” she typed in the room. “Doms and Dommes are capped. Subs are not.”

paper tiger, who Elaine guessed correctly was a male submissive added, “Some don’t subscribe to the ‘rule’. It’s more a suggestion in the name of clarity, than a prerequisite.”

“That’s true,” responded Sir Tim’s helena.

Hmmm, thought Elaine.

“Does that answer your question?” Simone asked privately.

“Yeah. I guess. How do you know who is telling the truth?”

“Hang around long enough and you will know,” she answered cryptically.

Just then, MasterServant entered the chat room and was dutifully greeted. Elaine said hello as well, holding her breath.

“This one is for real,” Simone messaged.

“How do you know?” asked Elaine.

“I met him last year when he came up here skiing. My Dom and I met him for lunch one day. He’s yummy.”

“You sound like you want him!”

“Who says I didn’t get him!”

“LOL. You’re bad.”

“You have no idea,” Simone replied, adding a winking smile.

Elaine watched the ebb and flow of the conversation, hanging on every word MasterServant said. He intrigued her and she was surprised to realise she was getting turned on. After a few minutes of squirming in her chair, Elaine glanced over at the clock by her bed and gasped at the time. She sent a private thank you to Simone, then sent a general thank you into the room for being so kind to let her stay and observe.

In the room a message appeared. “Please wait, kurious. May I speak with you privately a moment?” It was from him! MasterServant!

Leave now!

No, don’t run away!

But he lives two towns over!

C’mon, I’m anonymous!

Holding her breath, somehow her fingers typed a reply.

“Yes, Sir.”

Chapter 05

Awkward seconds passed as Elaine waited, unsure of what MasterServant might say. Though she was expecting his reply, she jumped when the private message box popped up on her screen.

“Welcome to the BDSM room,” he typed innocently.

“Thank you,” Elaine replied, her hands shaking.

“I should tell you acquiescent suggested I speak with you.”

“Why would she do that?”

“She’s probably matchmaking.”

Elaine swallowed. “Oh.”

“I’m just teasing. I’d say she’s looking out for you, making sure you get good information. It’s easy to be taken advantage of, or led astray. Her heart’s in the right place.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Yes. Very.”

“Why?”

“I’m unsure of myself. Afraid a little.”

“You don’t need to be afraid of me… or of yourself,” he added. Elaine wanted to ask what he meant, but another message arrived. “My name is Gary.”

“Elaine.”

“Nice name.”

“Thank you.”

“Please call me MS or MasterServant in the room though.”

“I will.”

“Good girl.”

Elaine blushed.

Another message came from him almost immediately. “Sorry. Habit.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I just meant calling someone ‘Good girl’ is a habit I have. I didn’t mean to sound too familiar. It’s weird though. I haven’t done that in a long time.”

“Called someone a ‘Good girl’?”

“Well, ‘called someone a good girl without even thinking about it’. Yes.”

“Yes. Even when it hurts, telling the truth is always the best option.”

“I’ll try to remember that.”

“I hope you will.”

“Um, what if it hurts someone’s feelings?”

“Small lies don’t hurt people’s feelings. Big lies do. Big lies follow small ones. If you don’t commit the first, then you won’t have to commit the second.”

“You know, that kind of makes sense.”

“It’s like saying everything is fine then not turning up for the wedding.”

“Sounds like personal experience.”

“Am I that transparent?”

No, you’re a breath of fresh air, Elaine wanted to say.

He briefly detailed his past and Elaine sat in rapt attention. His fiancé had indeed left him at the altar halfway through last year. Elaine said he didn’t have to tell her why, but Gary said it was common knowledge and went on to explain the situation. Basically his fiancé had not told him of her longstanding love for another Dominant, someone she’d had an affair with a few years before they’d met. When this other man divorced his own wife, Gary was ditched for a pipe dream.

“That must have been terrible.”

“At first it was. Then I was just relieved. It would have been a bad marriage.”

“I agree.”

He talked about the farm he had struggled to keep and about how he was on top of it now and enjoying life. The way he spoke fascinated Elaine. On the one hand he was just a regular guy. On the other hand, their shared interest in BDSM was an undercurrent throughout their conversation. Like a secret. Like something conveyed with a nod and a wink.

But there was something else. Something Elaine could not confess.

The toys.

Sitting at the bottom of her wardrobe, they mocked her. They tempted her. At once she was torn by the desire to experiment with them and the need to read the words Gary was sharing with her. She was nervous and excited. He couldn’t know how hot he was making her. He wasn’t even trying. Was he? If only she could tell him how hard her nipples were. If only she could tell him about the toys.

He would tell me to use them.

Blushing fiercely at the thought, Elaine concentrated, returning to the conversation she hadn’t intended to leave. She wanted it to go on and on, and she wanted to touch herself. With a mighty effort, she refrained.

Mentioning she was in college, thankfully Elaine opened a whole new line of enquiry, taking her mind off her physical distractions. He asked how she was doing, and what she wanted from her life. As he listened intently to all she had to say, Elaine found herself opening up to this stranger. He was attentive and interested. What more could a girl want? Eventually she slipped into a relaxed heat, barely noticing the surreptitious caress of a nipple or the squeezing of her thighs. Before long, minutes had become hours.

Glancing at the clock, she realised it was after one A.M. So much for that paper, she thought, smiling. It didn’t really bother her. She doubted anyone else in the class would have started it either. What concerned her was she was running out of time to play. And she was as horny as hell. “I should be getting to bed,” she typed reluctantly, biting her lip.

“I think I’ll turn in too,” he replied. “I really enjoyed talking to you. I hope to see you again soon.”

“Me too,” Elaine typed.

“Well, good night then.”

“Good night.” Dutifully Elaine said goodbye to everyone in the chat room and she watched as Gary did the same.

In the room Gary typed, “Goodnight, kurious.”

“Goodnight, MasterServant.”

Switching off the computer and sitting back in her chair, Elaine felt her heart pounding in her chest. Was it Gary? Or was it the anticipation of using the toys she’d bought?

She headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth and use the toilet. After moisturising her hands, she grabbed another glass of iced water from the kitchen and made her way back to the bedroom. Deciding not to take any chances, she locked the door behind herself. Putting the glass on the bedside table, her naked pussy lips slipped warmly with each step she took.

I can’t believe how horny I am…

Back in front of the mirror above her chest of drawers, she stared critically at her reflection as she disrobed. Tossing the discarded garments on the one spare chair in her room, the one she called her Laundry Hamper, she stood tall and admired herself, her gaze drawn to her erect nipples, then down to her pussy. Narrowing her eyes and leaning forward, she thought she could see a sheen of moisture at the top of one thigh. Drawing a fingertip between the folds of her pussy, she found her clit and gasped, her knees almost buckling.

Wow.

Glancing at her wardrobe, she hurried over and retrieved the hidden package from behind her shoes and under the black sweater she’d untidily tossed on top of it. Her hands were trembling as she knelt beside her bed and tore it open. Five items fell loose and she put one of them, the lube, on her bedside table beside the glass of water. Ripping the colourful plastic off the others, she stuffed the waste into her backpack, resolving to dispose of it somewhere smart.

She sat back on her heels, swallowing and shaking her head. Laid out on her bed was a pair of adjustable nipple clamps, a dildo, a small butt plug and a ball gag. She and the saleswoman had laughed when Elaine confessed it was going to be hard to keep quiet with the toys. That was when the woman kindly suggested the ball gag.

‘Besides, ‘ the woman had said. ‘It’ll give the experience some authenticity.’

It was pink solid rubber with black straps. Elaine picked it up and looked it over, figuring it out. Fitting it between her teeth, her breath rushed through her nose. Her pussy throbbed as she buckled the strap behind her head.

This is insane. I’m burning up!

Reaching across her bed for the lube, she accidentally dragged her nipples over the covering sheet and moaned through her nose. “Nnnnggg…” Her eyes fluttered closed and she almost knocked over the water. Back on her knees and swaying unsteadily with barely constrained passion, she opened the small tube and squeezed a dollop of the clear stuff onto the tip of her finger. Swallowing was difficult with the gag in her mouth, but she managed as she reached behind herself uncertainly and touched her fingertip to her asshole.

“Nnnggg,” she gasped. Her pussy contracted as she made contact, deliberately moving in circles around the hot, crinkled skin. It felt wicked, bad, and exciting to be lubing her ass. She tried to be clinical and ‘do only what was necessary’ but it was useless. Fuck, that feels amazing. Before she knew it she was gathering more lubrication on her finger and working it into her asshole.

By the time she was lubing the strangely shaped toy, her breathing was ragged and her juices were dripping down her thighs. Shaking with a combination of curiosity, anticipation and fear, she remembered the words of the saleslady in the Adult Emporium.

‘Your poo doesn’t get bigger than this. It shouldn’t hurt unless your asshole doesn’t agree with your mind, and it tightens up. If it hurts, stop. Let the pain pass and try again more slowly. Whatever you do, don’t force it. The trick is to really relax. Feel the muscle relax. You have to FEEL it. And then, if you are having trouble, try pushing down like you are doing a number two. Remember to lube the toy and your ass, okay? Oh, and make sure your bowels are empty, and watch for cross-contamination. And lastly, wash and pee after using anything in your ass, got it?’

The four-inch toy had plenty of give in it and its girth wasn’t intimidating. It shone in the dim light of her bedside lamp and Elaine swallowed, setting her knees widely apart on the carpeted floor, leaning her upper chest on the bed. Maybe I should play with myself while I do it, she considered.

Deciding it was a good idea, she reached for her pussy, trembling as her middle finger found the bead of moisture hanging delicately from her clit. Rubbing it gently in circles, her eyes closed and she willed her asshole to relax. Holding the inverted toy in her other hand, she reached behind herself, touching the tip to the puckered, sensitive skin. It felt like a tongue. She held her breath and tensed, tightening her ass against her will.

This is going to be harder than I thought…

She took a deep lungful of air through her nostrils and tried to breathe evenly. Feeling the muscle release it’s clench, she touched it again, swirling the toy slowly around the tingling, tight skin. Very slowly increasing the pressure, then backing off, over and over, Elaine felt the tension rising as the hole expanded around the slowly invading toy. I can’t take much more, she thought desperately, gripping the gag between her teeth. Gasping in surprise, suddenly the toy slid the rest of the way into her and locked in place.

“Nnnggggg!”

She immediately clenched and the sensation burned. Circling her clit with urgency, she found herself arching her back as the pain ebbed, the combined sensations attacking the pleasure centre in her brain.

Forcing herself to slow down, she gingerly climbed onto her bed, propping herself up with two pillows behind her back. Sitting on the plug felt weird, but it didn’t hurt after a few seconds. She just felt full. And that felt good.

Looking down her body from her diamond tipped breasts to her pussy, she remembered Kendra’s words and agreed she could do with a trim. Running her fingers through the silky hair, she didn’t think she was that hairy. She was wet though. Really wet. And the plug felt really good when she wasn’t thinking of pushing it out. It was a strangely delicious sensation.

She giggled and picked up one of the nipple clamps. She’d chosen ones with little decorative crystals that hung on short silver chains from the rear end of each clamp. With a flat surface between the ‘jaw’ where her nipple was to go, they opened not like a clothespin, but with a little disk that turned in circles. She experimented, watching the jaws opening and closing.

How tight? she wondered.

‘Experiment, ‘ the saleswoman had said. ‘Just clamp the base of the nipple, not the tip.’

Okay!

Opening the jaw again, Elaine manoeuvred her nipple between the flat surfaces, holding it in position while she slowly turned the little disk. Gradually the pressure increased. The clamp wasn’t tight enough to hurt. Between its flat jaws, her nipple felt like it was being firmly pinched, just like she sometimes did to herself only this way her hands were free. Eagerly she attached the other one. So enamoured with the feelings the clamps generated, she tightened them a little more before laying back in the bed, closing her eyes and basking in the sensations.

Her legs fell apart and she reached between them, caressing her wet pussy and gathering moisture on her fingertips. Stroking her clit with two fingers, she almost drove herself straight over the edge.

“Nnngggg Ggggg…”

Oh, God! Not yet! Please! Her hand jerked away, her fingers in midair while the need receded and her breathing calmed. When she felt it was safe, she slowly and carefully pushed two fingers into herself.

Elaine’s pussy was awash with juices, wetter than ever. It throbbed hotly and tightly around her embedded fingers. Moaning pitifully, she slowly withdrew them, then slid them back in again.

“Nnnggg…”

FUCK, this is good…

Breathing even harder through her nose, Elaine fumbled with her bedside drawer before finding her vibe and placing it beside her. She’d bring herself off with it, and she wouldn’t have to be quiet! Experimenting further, she let out a small scream, then a louder one. She was delighted! The gag actually worked!

“Nnggggg!!!” came out of her nose as she fucked her pussy with her fingers a little faster, feeling the bulge of the butt plug constricting the room in there. She was very tight already and couldn’t usually fit three fingers, though she’d tried. When she grazed her clit, making her nipples throb like crazy in the clamps, her eyes rolled back into her head.

“Oooooonnngggggg…”

So intense!

Her fingers were winding up, fucking faster and faster and her breath was almost whistling through her nose. She couldn’t have opened her legs wider as she slid further down the pillows. Her brand new seven-inch dildo would have to wait. She wasn’t going to get to try it tonight. But she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything at that point. All she could think of was the lit fuse of her desire, threatening to explode at any moment, and the heavenly feeling her vibe would give her when she pressed it to her clit.

She withdrew her fingers and retrieved it. Struggling. Turning it on high, her body begging for release, she slid her fingers back in and started fucking herself furiously. The vibrating toy teased her, daring her to touch her clit as it hovered an inch above.

“Nngg! Nngg! Nngg!”

Thrusting her hips skywards, she made contact and jerked away. It was almost too much. Her fingers fucked harder.

“Nngggggg!!!”

She was shaking, her control wavering, when an image entered her mind. He was standing by her bed, hands casually in his pockets, looking down on her and smiling. His face was a blur, but she knew who he was…

“Cum,” he said.

Unable to stop herself, she pressed her vibrator viciously against her clit, a scream rising in her throat as her body arched.

“NNNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!”

Her fingers flew in and out of her wet, sucking hole, vibrator driving her mad, up, up and over the edge. Her body flexed in a mighty spasm, and she felt her tummy tightening severely, bearing down uncontrollably. Suddenly all hell broke loose as her clit exploded and savage contractions wracked her tortured pussy, gripping her fingers so tight she couldn’t move them as her body shuddered in sympathy. Her hips bucked, the vibe still pushed hard against her clit.

“ARRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!” she screamed.

Without warning her pussy began spraying its load. Her hips bucked again, her body becoming senseless. Streams of juice flew in all directions, distorted by her embedded fingers.

“NNGGGGG!!!!” she managed, a huge spasm jolting her, sending her eyes rolling back into her head. She could feel another orgasm welling up. She couldn’t stop it. She didn’t want to!

She was floating. Consciousness seemed distant. Strangely lucid, yet bodiless. She existed as a thought. A dream. An image of herself. She was happy and saw herself smiling, laughing. The image told her to stop worrying, that everything would be all right. At that moment of blissful exhaustion, she agreed.

Her jaw ached. Opening her eyes, she sat up and undid the straps on the gag. Glancing at the clock, it said four forty-nine and clicked over to four fifty. Her nipples ached terribly and she hurriedly loosened the clamps and took them off. That was a whole new sensation. When the first one came free, blood surged into her nipple and it throbbed painfully, making her gasp. The other would be the same but she had to do it. Once done, she held her nipples and groaned as the throbbing faded away. When she let go, she couldn’t believe how swollen they were.

I hope they go down soon…

Suddenly realising she couldn’t feel the butt plug in her ass, she wondered if she was just numb. Reaching for it, she was surprised to find it wasn’t even there. Huh?Searching around, she found it only a few inches away, and giggled at the image that formed in her mind. Had she shot it out of herself?

Grabbing her vibe and plug and heading for the bathroom, she washed up and remembered to use the toilet. Back in her room she wearily gathered together her toys and hid them under the sweater in the closet, innocently placing her vibe back in her bedside drawer. Mechanically stripping her bed, she folded up the sheets before remaking it with fresh ones. In minutes she slid between them and turned off the bedside light.

I’m absolutely fucked, she thought as she closed her eyes, smiling and nestling into her soft pillow, her legs weak.

As she drifted off to sleep, she remembered visualising MasterServant standing over her, telling her to cum. It had been amazing seeing him there, looking down on her.

What would that be like?

**************************

The harsh alarm sounded and Elaine switched it off quickly, willing herself to rise before she managed to talk herself into sleeping some more. Sometimes it was touch and go. But she wanted to have a productive Sunday and she was good, wrapping her robe around herself, grabbing a towel and heading for the shower.

She ran the shower hard and hot, the cleansing needles of heat prickling Elaine’s skin. Washing thoroughly and occasionally gently, she suddenly had a thought. The girls would freak if I shaved too. Feeling strangely brave, she soaped up her sparse bush and grabbed the razor she usually used on her legs.

Stretching her pliant skin in various directions as she guided the blade, she smiled the whole time. Her skin was going to be sensitive. With long strokes of the razor, the bulk of the hair peeled away. If I was bald like Kendra, that’d throw them for a loop. And a Brazilian would be out. Hey, maybe that’s what she was thinking. Bitch.

But no, always the rebel, Elaine liked how a vertical strip above her clit looked, and left it a quarter inch wide and two inches long, planning to trim it a bit shorter with scissors. Taking a moment to find strays, she was finally satisfied and rinsed under the shower.

After towelling off, she found the scissors under the sink and trimmed her new look perfectly. She really liked it. Why have I never done that before? she asked herself, hands on her hips and twisting a little, admiring from all angles in the bathroom vanity mirror.

Slipping on her robe, she walked back to her room and tossed her towel in the Laundry Hamper. She promised herself to get to the pile of clothes as soon as she was dressed. Glancing out the window through the gauzy curtains, she decided it was going to be hot. From the bottom draw of her dresser, she grabbed her stretchy black skirt and a sleeveless black t-shirt with the details of a concert tour for The Cure printed on the front. Adding a couple of hair clips, she moisturised her hands and applied lip-gloss before she was ready.

Gathering up her clothes and wedging her feet in her flip-flops, she grabbed her change purse and keys and headed for the Laundromat with a textbook under her arm.

*********************

Around lunchtime Kendra and Chelsea returned home. Elaine had made inroads on her term paper. It was half done. She had a plan on how to finish it and had already written a draft conclusion. Music pulsed from the lounge room as she shut down the computer, satisfied with her exploits.

Kendra was in the shower when Elaine joined Chelsea on the sofa. “Hey,” Elaine said as she flopped on the couch. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I went under a bus,” Chelsea moaned.

“Can I get you something?”

“I could really do with a coffee.”

“I’m sure Kendra would like one too,” said Elaine, getting up.

“Let her get her own.”

“Don’t be silly,” said Elaine as she left for the kitchen. Five minutes later they were sipping at their steaming cups when Kendra joined them, taking the single seater and thanking Elaine for the coffee.

“Well, come on. Details!” grinned Elaine, feeling chipper.

Kendra obliged. “We got plastered, went back to their place, smoked weed, and got well fucked. Pretty good night I’d say.”

“Yeah, right,” said Chelsea.

“Oh, stop complaining. You chose him.”

Elaine felt like she was watching a tennis match.

“Yeah, but I didn’t know he’d be so big. It fucking burns. How about a bit of sympathy?”

Chelsea rose carefully and shuffled toward the door, heading for the bathroom. In a parting shot, she said, “You can be a bitch you know, Kendra.”

When Chelsea had left, Elaine mumbled, “Take it easy. The girl is in pain.”

“What’s you’re problem? Did we interrupt you or something?”

“Fuck off, Kendra,” Elaine said, standing and walking from the room.

“Oooooo…”

She hadn’t been planning on it, but Elaine decided she didn’t want to hang out with her roommates, instead spending the rest of the day in the college library. When she got home around four-thirty, both girls were out.

“We’ve gone to the Rat!” said the note they’d left.

The Rat was the college bar, and Elaine hadn’t been in ages. She thought about going, but decided instead to check out the BDSM chat room. I’ll just stay a little while, she said to herself.

Flicking on the computer, again with iced water close by, she noticed the joint on her desk, sitting quietly, almost beckoning to her. I should probably give that back.

Only a few people were there when she entered. They all greeted her and she responded in kind, thanking them and relaxing, sipping her water. MasterServantwasn’t there. She had to admit she was a little disappointed, though she hadn’t really expected him. After about an hour Sir Tim’s helena entered and Elaine greeted her.

“Welcome back, kurious,” she said. “I’m glad to see you here. May I message you privately?”

Elaine felt strangely wary. “Sure,” she typed back.

The private message box popped up. “Hi. I hope you’re not busy.”

“No, not at all,” Elaine typed back. “Just relaxing and thinking about making dinner.”

“Amen. Listen, I just wanted to say that I like you. You’re okay, kurious.”

“Well, um. Thanks.”

“As you can imagine, ‘newbies’ come in all shapes and sizes. Can I give you some advice?”

“Sure.”

“I just wish someone had told me this when I first arrived. Rule No. 1: Take your time. Rule No. 2: ‘Make sure’ before you commit to anything. Rule No. 3: If you are going to meet someone, always do it in a public place first. Rule No. 4: Always tell someone where you’re going to be. Names, addresses, everything. Someone who won’t give you this info is not trustworthy.”

Elaine copied the rules, pasting them in a new document titled Advice, in My Documents. She was proud of herself for thinking of it. “Thanks, that’s helpful. I’m not planning to meet anyone, though.”

“The longer you stay, the more likely it is that you will.”

Elaine wondered about that before typing back, “That’s interesting.”

“Most bright lights burn out quickly. It’s the embers that last forever.”

“That’s beautiful.”

“It’s from my collaring ceremony. Sir Tim wrote it.”

“What’s a collaring ceremony?”

“It’s the ceremony tying a submissive to their Dominant. Kind of like a wedding.”

Elaine thought about helena‘s words for a moment. “It must be amazing,” she typed.

“It’s hard work, like any relationship. Be careful not to idealise the lifestyle.”

“That makes sense.”

“It’s also true that I could never go back. Once you cross the line into real life, you can’t.”

“Real life?” Elaine asked, not really understanding.

“Well, online is fun. Safe. And if you are honest about your intentions, I have no problem with anyone who is ‘just online’.”

“I guess it’s not respected as much as real life people,” Elaine ventured.

“To those perched its side, the top of the mountain seems a long way up. To those in the valley, it’s a hell of a climb either way.”

“So I’m perched on the side?”

“Exactly. People will respect how far you’ve come.”

“I’ve not come far. I’ve only done a bit of reading. Um, and playing. Not with anyone. I mean fantasising.”

“That’s normal and healthy for the budding submissive. May I ask how old you are?”

“Twenty.”

“Whoa.”

“What is it?”

“Well, sweetheart. I’m forty-three. It isn’t common to be seriously investigating the lifestyle at your age.”

“What is common?”

“Okay, I’m generalising really broadly, but the average newbie submissive would be in her mid-thirties, previously or unhappily married, searching for something that gives her a sense of protection and care in her life. She doesn’t handle domestic stress well and wants to be looked after emotionally. She could have a stressful job. She wants to be told what to do to make her man happy. She is unsure of herself and craves direction. She wants to please her man, but more than that, she wants to be told how.”

Elaine thought about her previous persona of Naughtygirl. “You’re right. Thanks for the advice.”

“Welcome. My man is home from golf. I have to go.”

“Thanks for the chat,” Elaine typed.

“See you next time,” helena replied. A general goodbye message appeared in the room before she logged out.

Elaine sat back in her chair, sipping her water and watching the chat room. The conversations could be quite amusing sometimes, which was somewhat surprising. People made lots of jokes about pain and the infliction of it. Elaine just shook her head.

Being careful where she replaced her glass on the desk, she again noticed the joint. “Fuck it,” she said out loud, heading to the kitchen in search of fire. Finders keepers.

Returning with matches, she had just fitted the joint between her lips when she glanced at her screen. Promptly it fell from her mouth, and she fumbled with the matches, putting away the one she’d withdrawn and replacing them on the desk. She found the joint under her chair and put it on top of the matchbox, then pulled in her chair, ready to type.

“Same here. Quiet weekend. Too quiet,” he said. Elaine didn’t respond straight away. She was wondering what he was trying to say. She didn’t have to wonder long as he messaged her again. “I’m still single.”

“I doubt that will last long. Someone will snap you up.”

“What if I don’t want to be ‘snapped up’?”

“Um, I just meant you seem nice, you’ll find someone.”

“I’m just teasing. I knew what you meant.”

“Oh.”

“I’m not in a hurry.”

“Nor am I,” Elaine admitted. She wanted to change the subject. “Can you point me to some good websites?” Without realising it, she’d chosen the one subject they’d previously avoided. She hoped she wouldn’t regret it.

“Sure, I can email them to you.”

Elaine was glad she had a Hotmail account. After giving him her address, moments later she had mail. Opening it, she realised it was from him.

“I just sent you a quick email,” he explained. “I wanted to make sure I had the right address.”

“I received it.”

“Good. I’ll go through my favourites and pick out a few good ones for you. ‘castlerealm.com’ is a standard though.”

“Thanks. I haven’t been there yet.”

“How long have you been interested?”

“About four days, maybe five.”

“How did you become interested?”

“I googled BDSM. I didn’t know what it stood for.”

“And?”

“Well, some aspects intrigued me.”

“They turned you on.”

Elaine bit her lip and typed, “Well, yes.”

“It’s okay to say so. I won’t ask what aspects.”

“Thank you.” She squirmed. She was getting wet again.

“I know it’s bad timing,” he messaged. “But my meal is almost ready and I have to go. I was planning on returning later though, if you’d like to talk some more.”

A few minutes after MasterServant, Elaine sent a general goodbye into the room as well. Lots of people she didn’t even know waved and said ‘be well’ to her and she thanked them. People are so friendly, she thought as she closed the window.

Elaine made enough spaghetti to feed an army. She froze half of it and left the rest in a container for the girls to reheat. Making her way back to her room with a fresh glass of iced water, she looked around her room, trying to find something to occupy herself. She didn’t want to seem desperate. She wasn’t desperate. She couldn’t deny her desire to return to the chat room, but she wanted to wait. Spying the joint, she sat at the computer and sipped her water.

Oh, what the hell, she thought, picking it up and lighting it. She drew deeply and immediately regretted it, coughing so hard her eyes watered. Once under control, she took several smaller puffs and was able to hold down the smoke as someone had once taught her.

Moments after putting out the joint she felt dizzy and went to lie down for a minute.

**************************

Banging on her door woke her. “What? What is it?” she cried, willing the urgent thumping to stop.

“Oh, thank Christ!” said Chelsea.

“Can we come in?” asked Kendra.

“Sure,” Elaine said, her door opening as she sat up on the side of her bed.

The two girls fell into the room, looks of concern across their faces. “Are you okay?” They asked almost in unison.

“We’ve been knocking for at least a few minutes,” complained Kendra, rubbing her knuckles.

“We just wanted to thank you for the spaghetti. But when you didn’t answer, we got worried.”

“I’m fine, just dead to the world. I found a joint on the floor in the lounge room and smoked half of it. I hope you don’t mind. I was going to ask.”

Chelsea giggled and shook her head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Listen,” said Kendra. “I hope you’ll agree that we can come in if we can’t wake you after five minutes. You had us worried.”

“Sorry. Yeah, that’s fine.”

“You gonna finish that joint?” asked Chelsea, grinning.

“No. Take it. Please. Hey, what’s the time?” Elaine asked out loud, turning to look at her clock.

“Just after ten P.M.,” answered Kendra.

Fuck!

Chapter 06

For a moment Elaine wondered where the disappointment was coming from. Maybe she was just annoyed with herself. She was usually meticulously punctual. But it wasn’t like she’d promised to meet him. It had just been a ‘maybe’. Shaking her head, she had a new appreciation for the term ‘wasted’.

Who am I kidding? she wondered. The guy could be a nut. Simone said he wasn’t but who was Simone? Maybe HE was ‘Simone’. Surely no one was that devious. She had to admit it was possible. Elaine decided she shouldn’t feel disappointed at being late. Annoyed at wasting an opportunity to chat with him, maybe. But not disappointed. Was it just plain loneliness she was feeling? Or was it simply curiosity?

And why did he have to live so fucking close?

She felt like a moth to a flame.

“I think she’s still out of it,” Chelsea giggled, waving her hand in front of Elaine’s eyes.

“I’m fine,” Elaine said, stretching. “I’m just not used to smoking pot, I guess.”

“For a second there you looked like you had the weight of the world on your shoulders,” Kendra said.

“Um, I’ll skip. I want to do a few things online. I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

“Okay. G’night. And thanks for the spaghetti, it was great.”

“Yeah. Night, Elaine. Thanks.”

The door closed behind them and Elaine was alone again. Dragging herself over to the chair in front of the computer, she waited while it booted up and connected to the ‘net. Feeling her heart start to thump, she took deep breaths and told herself to calm down.

Relax. I’m not desperate. I’m just kurious.

She smiled as she typed in the chat room URL and logged on.

Again Elaine was greeted by almost everyone there, including MasterServant, who asked if he could speak with her privately almost immediately. “Of course, Sir,” she said, feeling less confident than her words sounded. She thanked everyone for their kind greetings and Sir Tim’s helena winked at her.

She was already blushing before the private message box popped up.

“Hello, Elaine.”

“Hi, Gary. You can just message me. You don’t have to ask”

“All right. Deal. You may do the same.”

“Thanks.”

“Did you enjoy your evening?” Gary asked.

“No.”

“Oh?”

“I slept through most of it. I wanted to come here but I was stupid and smoked some of a joint I found. I fell asleep almost immediately.”

“LOL.”

“Yeah, very funny.”

“I didn’t figure you for a druggie.”

“I’m so not.”

“Well, I’m glad you made it. I’ve been waiting for you.”

Elaine blushed harder. Thoughts swirled and typing suddenly became difficult. “Why?” she fumbled, hesitating before sending the question, unsure if she wanted to know the answer.

“Because I like you.”

It felt like her heart stopped. “But you don’t know me.”

“I know you better than you think.”

With shaking hands, she typed, “Yeah, right.” She had to retype it three times to get rid of the mistakes.

“Okay, let’s see what I know. You can step in at any time and tell me I’m wrong. This is just for fun, right?”

“Um, okay.”

“You are twenty years old and go to college.”

“Public record,” Elaine typed more assertively, though she giggled nervously.

“You have an interest in what goes on in the BDSM lifestyle that is growing daily. You have good parents but they were strict, or at least one was.”

Wow. Yeah, Dad WAS pretty strict.

He went on. “You are a rebel of sorts, but few people really know you. You wish you had friends you could relate to more honestly. You think of yourself as independent, yet you yearn to be looked after. How am I going so far?”

“Um, pretty close.”

“I’m just getting started,” he typed, adding a wink.

Elaine swallowed. “Go on then.”

“You like wearing black. It makes you feel different, but at the same time you can lurk in the shadows, unnoticed. Hmmm… May I take a stab at your personal life without offending you?”

“I don’t know, can you?” Elaine’s mouth was getting dry.

“Touché. I’ll try. Well,” he typed, stretching out the anticipation. “My guess is you are single and haven’t had a boyfriend for a while. As time has worn on, your dreams and fantasies have become more and more extreme. You like to masturbate but you don’t get to do it as often as you’d like. You get on okay with your roommates but you don’t connect with them. You may even be bisexual, find them attractive, and be in denial.”

“C’mon, Elaine,” he sent after an awkward few seconds. “I’m just making this up. I have no idea what you might be like or whether or not you are a compulsive masturbator.” He followed his message with another wink.

It made Elaine smile a little. “Sorry. I’m just a bit surprised, I guess,” typed Elaine. “How can you just nail me like that? I mean, I don’t think I am bisexual but I guess I might be. And um,” she hesitated again. “I do like to play… you know, masturbate. And I have been fantasising strange scenarios.” Flashes of the night before crossed her mind and she felt her nipples tingling. They were still a little swollen. “It’s a bit scary that you’re so close to the truth. I mean, I have no idea what you are like.”

“Honestly, they were just lucky guesses. How about you try.”

“I don’t know…”

“Just see where your imagination leads you,” he said, adding a smile.

“All right.” Elaine sat pondering a moment, touching her cheeks and feeling how hot they were. Then she typed, “What about this: You are the urban cowboy type. You always had a desire to live in open spaces, though you grew up in the city. Your parents are ‘laid back’ kind of people who didn’t really mind what you did with your life, as long as you were happy.”

“Pretty close. Keep going.”

“Um… You relied on your own motivation to… go to college?”

“Kind of.”

“Where you studied… um, veterinary science?”

“I wish. Carpentry.”

“Carpentry… but you always wished you studied veterinary science.” Elaine sent a wink of her own. “And let’s see… You worked on building sites and enjoyed it, but now you work on your farm and do odd jobs around town to supplement your income.”

“Okay, this is getting freaky.”

Elaine grinned before continuing. It was fun. “You thought you were in love a couple of times, but those experiences paled in comparison to your dearly departed fiancé.”

“She’s dead to me!” he typed uproariously.

The Soprano’s accent was almost audible and Elaine laughed out loud. Remembering their previous conversation, she typed, “Um, but you were angry and annoyed and confused when she left, though in the recesses of your mind you always thought there was something wrong, though she denied it.”

“Public record.” He added a smiley with its tongue poking out. “Sorta.”

“Let’s see. Oh, and you found out about the lifestyle when you overheard a conversation in a line-dancing bar over a gin and tonic.”

“Ahahahahaaaa!”

“No?” asked Elaine, giggling and visualising him laughing at his desk. “Was it a dry martini?”

“Well, um… No. I’m strictly a ‘bourbon and beer’ kind of guy. Though I don’t mind a good wine now and again. Line dancing is out though, I’m afraid. I’m very much influenced by my parent’s taste in music. Led Zeppelin; Rolling Stones; Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young; that kind of thing. So you wouldn’t find me in a line dancing club.”

“Awwww,” Elaine typed, still giggling.

“Oh, please. Don’t tell me you’re into that stuff.”

“Noooo! No, I was jesting.”

“Good. I’d hate to have to beat it out of you,” he typed, again the winking smiley followed his words.

Elaine had seen that kind of comment in the room before, but this time it made her stop and think. It was also enough of a hesitation for Gary to fill the void.

“Okay, enough kidding around,” he typed.

Elaine’s thoughts stalled. Only one thing came to mind to type. “Yes, Sir.” Yet another moment passed and she wondered what he was thinking.

“Do comments like that concern you?”

“Yes,” she typed before she knew it.

“I imagine they could be a bit off-putting. Okay, let’s make use of this time more constructively. How about a bit of Q & A?”

Elaine was glad for the opportunity. She had millions of questions. The first one was chosen because it was on her mind. “Okay, thank you. Why do people make comments like that?”

He smiled before answering. Elaine wondered if she’d asked the right question. Or at least a good one to get the ball rolling.

“I’d say because it’s an exaggeration, and therein lies the humour. It’s like saying I’m going to get fit by running around the world. It’s funny. Not hilarious, but it’s enough to make people smile.”

“Okay, I get it.” Hesitating with her fingers over the keys, Elaine tried to frame her next question, the one she was dying to ask. Gary must have sensed it because he didn’t fill the void. Finally she typed, “How were you introduced to the lifestyle?”

“An ex-girlfriend introduced me a long time ago.”

Oh. Elaine for some reason had imagined a more prophetic answer. She swallowed and moved on. “I love your stories. But is it really like that?” Immediately after sending her question, she knew it wasn’t framed well.

And he knew it too. “I’m not sure what you are referring to.”

“Well, you have these kind of idyllic situations, where the Dom and the sub are so ‘in tune’. Is it really like that?”

“I wish. I think it can be when both parties are honest and communicative. I just haven’t found my girl yet.”

Elaine swallowed. “Would you do the things you describe in your stories to ‘your girl’?”

“Sure. But only if we agreed to that course of action. Submitting to a Dom is a huge commitment. You know the words in the old marriage vows? ‘Honour and obey’? They are the pivotal words in a Dom/sub relationship. Once agreed to, many things follow because of them.”

“Can you please elaborate a little?”

“Sure. Your submission, to a particular Dominant, is called your ‘gift’. It’s called a gift because it is something only you can give. It cannot be taken or stolen from you. It is yours and only you can choose when and to whom you will give it. However, once given, you are placing your submissive nature in someone else’s hands, to do with as they please, within reason. You can of course take it back. But that is usually when the relationship ends. It means you have to be incredibly careful and sure of a person before you submit to them. Remember to take your time.”

Elaine was riveted, and hoped he would continue. He didn’t disappoint her.

“When I say, ‘within reason’, I mean safely, sanely, and consensually. Or SSC. You may have seen this noted in the reading you have done. More recently ‘RACK’ is becoming the vogue. RACK stands for Risk-Aware Consensual Kink, and is probably a bit more accurate as a description of ‘what we do’. We go into a scene or a situation with our eyes wide open, knowing what the risks are, and aware of the need for safeguards to protect those involved. We know this stuff is kinky, and we don’t deny it. We just make sure the risks are known and agreed to before we undertake them.”

“The idea makes my skin crawl. No, that’s not what I mean. I mean, it just makes me incredibly nervous. Like, really scared. The whole idea. And yet, I feel like I have this need inside. Is that normal?” Elaine felt like her thoughts were going all over the place. She wondered if she was making sense. Gary didn’t help. Not at first, anyway.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“No. I honestly don’t know what the word ‘normal’ means. If you mean ‘normal’ for a vanilla person, I’d say no, it’s not normal. If you asked if it’s normal for a submissive, I’d say it was completely normal. So it depends on your perspective, not mine.”

“How do I know if I’m a submissive?”

“That is an excellent question.”

“Thank you, Sir,” typed Elaine, smiling at her words. It was getting easier to call Gary, ‘Sir’. She hardly even noticed it until after she’d hit ‘send’.

“I think most wives, and husbands for that matter… okay now I sound sexist. I mean, I think most spouses like to please their significant other. Whether it be making a nice dinner or bringing them flowers or doing something for them so they don’t have to do it themselves. It makes the other person happy, and that’s why they do it. The crucial difference with the submissive person is that it pleases them. It makes them happy to be doing something that makes the other person happy. It isn’t a chore. It actually makes them smile. Or makes them excited.”

“They are fiction, and nothing like real life. Well, no. That’s not true. Stories, photos, things like that… they’re like seeing real life in a mirror. Like a two-dimensional reflection of what life is really like. Being there is incredibly intense by comparison.”

“Yes, um… I can sort of imagine.” Trying to return to her thoughts, Elaine typed, “So, to be a submissive, I would have to enjoy ‘doing’ the thing that pleased you, rather than ‘enjoying seeing how pleased you were’ because of it?”

“Not ‘rather than’. The sub would enjoy both experiences.”

“That’s a pretty subtle difference.”

“I agree. It doesn’t take a lot to tip a ‘normal’ (there’s that word again) woman, into submission.”

“What does it take?”

“Good question. Again, I don’t know. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I could hazard a guess.”

“Please do.”

“Well, let’s make some assumptions. Firstly, we are talking about heterosexual relationships here, where the potential submissive is female. Secondly, we assume that most women want one man to satisfy every need that man is capable of satisfying. Thirdly, they want the security of being bound in some way to that man, ie. marriage etc. And lastly, they are willing to compromise greatly if that man is capable of satisfying the great majority of their needs.”

“Sounds plausible. In fact, it’s a pretty succinct description of most of the relationships I’ve witnessed.”

“Okay. Then given these admittedly assumed ‘facts’, then there would need to be a defining moment, a ‘time’, where despite the woman’s (or submissive’s) commitment to these facts, she felt that there was something missing. This ‘void’ in her life is significant enough to cause her to investigate further, sometimes leading her to the door of BDSM.”

“I didn’t feel like that though. It just seemed ‘right’ when I read about it. Well, not all of what I’ve read. I’m really conscious of the ‘consensual’ bit.”

“Good. You should be. Everything that happens should be agreed to in advance. Okay. Let’s talk hypothetically. It might be easier to understand.”

“Okay,” typed Elaine, not at all sure what he might say.

“Let’s say you and I are a D/s couple.”

“D/s?”

“Dominance and submission.”

“Oh, yeah. Right. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. So, assuming we are a D/s couple, we would have come to certain agreements.”

“Such as?”

“Such as, if you were to talk back to me in say, a mocking tone, I would be within my rights to spank you forcefully. Or if you embarrassed me intentionally in company. Or if you hid something I was trying to find.”

“But that might just be a joke.”

“Which is true. And in which case the punishment may be playful, but the joke would need to be obvious.”

“How would I do that?”

“Maybe by winking when you said you had no idea where it was.”

“That’s a bit sassy.”

“It’s called ‘bratty’ in the lifestyle. Which is like, ‘provoking deliberately’.”

“Some subs do that?”

“Sure.”

“Why?”

“Some like to be punished, I guess.”

“I’d hate to be punished. It would mean I’d done something wrong.”

“Good. But this is a little different. It’s like an understanding between the two people involved. A little provocation means a little punishment. And that’s what the sub desires, so she provokes gently. Thus, she’s ‘being bratty’.”

“Okay. I’ve seen comments about ‘brats’ in the room before. I wondered what they meant.”

“And now you know.”

“Yes. Okay. So, given that I’m not being bratty,” Elaine typed, uncrossing and recrossing her legs. “If I just made a mistake, would you punish me?”

“Sure. Perhaps not physically. It depends on the nature of the mistake. Most subs are treated strongly early in the relationship, to reinforce the Dominant’s desire for the submissive to do better, and to reinforce her feelings of submission, which is her ultimate desire.”

“But,” typed Elaine, feeling a little foolish. “Doesn’t it hurt?”

“Yes. As it should. Did your Daddy ever spank you when you were a little girl?”

“If you are remorseful, and genuinely appreciative of the correction, then guilt is cleansed and you start again with a clean slate.”

“Thankful?”

“Yes. From my experience, the one thing the submissive cannot stand, is ‘indifference’. A Dominant who cares enough to correct her when she is wrong, rather than not caring at all, is one to hold onto. Being thankful for his desire to see you do better is natural.”

“I see.”

“Do you?”

“I think so. I mean, my experience with men is rather limited. But I know what I want.”

“What do you want?”

“I want someone I can respect, who is honest with me and caring. Someone who takes me places I’ve never been before. Someone I can trust.”

“Your expectations are realistic.”

“But I’ve never met anyone like that.”

“Yes you have.”

Immediately Elaine knew Gary was speaking of himself. She swallowed. She wasn’t ready for any of this. It wasn’t that things were moving too fast. The fact that things were moving at all was terrifying, but his confident assertion did nothing to allay her fears. All it did was make her hands tremble and her scalp prickle.

Once again she was dumbstruck.

“Um, someone just asked you something in the room,” Gary typed.

“They did?”

“Yes. Simone asked whether or not you needed oxygen. Send her a tongue poking out.”

Elaine did. It was with relief she realised Gary was letting her off the hook. In the room Simone asked if she was having fun and Elaine replied that it was all very interesting and that MasterServant was a good teacher.

Gary added, also in the chat room, “I’m only as good as my best student.” As other Dominants in the room agreed, Elaine blushed strongly, feeling her nipples throb. Why does he have such a strong effect on me? Would it be the same with any Dom?

She remembered a question and messaged him privately again. “I keep meaning to ask you something, then forgetting. What does your nickname mean? It almost sounds like a contradiction.”

“I am both a Master to my woman, and her Servant. I will do everything in my power to give her all she needs to grow into the role I envisage for her. I will nurture her, and encourage her, I will correct her where necessary, I will adore her for the pleasure she gives me, and I will honour her by my actions, both privately and publicly. It says a lot about me, my nickname.”

“I can see how it makes sense now.”

He sent a smile. “It’s getting late. I hope you don’t have to be up early.”

Elaine checked the time in the corner of the computer screen. She was horrified to see it was twelve fifty-one. “Oh, no. I didn’t realise it was nearly one A.M. I really have to go. I have work tomorrow, then class. I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching the time.”

“No need to apologise, Elaine.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“You don’t have to call me ‘Sir’.”

“I know.” Elaine sent a smile.

“Thanks again for talking to me,” he typed. “I really enjoyed it.”

“You sound surprised.”

“I am.”

“Why?”

“Because I am. I haven’t talked like this to anyone in months.”

“Like this?”

“Yes, like this. Talking and explaining. And I won’t deny liking you. I won’t deny I know little about you, either. But what I do know, I like, and I’d like to keep talking to you, for as long as we both feel the same.”

Elaine re-read what he’d written, her fingers poised over the keyboard. Taking a deep breath, she typed, “I’d like that too.”

“Sure. Just come. I’ll run into you soon enough. If I don’t, I’m sure you’ll find friendly faces.”

Why did he have to seem so much cooler than her? So much more in control. Elaine had been shaking and feeling on edge all night. She wasn’t sure why. Where was this going? She put that question on the back burner.

“Everyone is very kind. Okay, I better get to bed. Thank you again, Sir. I learned a lot tonight.”

“You are welcome, Elaine. Sleep well.”

“Goodbye everyone,” she typed, sending it into the chat room. “I have to get to bed.”

Again the friendly room made her smile with their waves and good wishes, telling her to return soon. She promised she would and she knew it was a promise she would keep. Before leaving, she sent Gary one last message. “Good night, Sir.”

“Good night, Elaine.”

She switched off the machine. Sitting back in her chair, she uncrossed her numb legs and sighed. Her nipples pulsed they were so hard. Looking downward, she realised they were still quite swollen, which would explain the ache. Opening her legs, she made to stand up and noticed she was wet too. Very wet.

I’m turning into a nympho, she thought, then giggled.

There was nothing she could do about it though. Despite her roommates having already gone to bed, a fact she confirmed when she went to brush her teeth, she wouldn’t risk waking them with a masturbation session. Just thinking about being caught made her blush harder. She wondered when next she’d get the chance.

After setting her alarm and lying down in the dark, she was just dropping off to sleep when her eyes jolted open.

Shit! I told him what time it was! He knows I’m in the same time zone!

It took Elaine five minutes to convince herself it was okay. Nothing had changed. She was still anonymous. Should she tell him she lived close by? Surely it would be okay to keep that kind of information private until the appropriate time.

What was it he’d said?

‘It means you have to be incredibly careful and sure of a person before you submit to them. Remember to take your time.’

She fell asleep with her hands between her legs, promising herself she would.

Erotic dreams tormented her. Once during the night, she’d woken in a sweat. For a moment she thought she couldn’t move. Gary had tied her up and played with her for hours, though in reality it could have been mere moments. He hadn’t let her cum. She wasn’t allowed. In the dream she remembered begging him, more and more urgently, her spine tingling with the desperate need for release.

Making her way to the kitchen for a glass of water, it became apparent she had to make a detour to the bathroom. Her hands were damp and her juices were running down her legs. Her skin was aglow, tingling all over. Her nipples were rampant and she brushed lightly over them once she’d cleaned up.

“Mmmmmm…”

She hoped she could get back to sleep.

She had a big day coming up.

Chapter 07

Elaine’s mail sorting job didn’t require a ‘uniform’ as such, but she had a standard set of clothes she wore, both to keep things simple and because competing with others in the fashion stakes wasn’t her thing. Thankfully it was a pants and blouse set, and her bra was clean after washing it the day before. The pants were black, as usual, and a little low on the hips, but they were loose and comfortable, almost flared. The blouse was a reasonably stylish white ‘business shirt’ cut, which could hardly be described as pretentious.

She was almost ready to head to work, her hand holding the knob of the apartment door, when Kendra stuck her head out of her bedroom and asked, “Elaine, could you come here please?”

The request was so sweet Elaine became immediately suspicious. “What is it?”

“Just come down here a minute,” Kendra said, as though it were a chore.

“All right. But this better be important. I have to get to work.” As Elaine got closer, it became apparent that Kendra was naked, though she was doing her best to hide herself behind her mostly closed door. “What is it?” Elaine asked as she stood waiting, her hand on her hip.

Kendra looked her up and down. “You have a bra on.”

“So? I washed it yesterday. I always do my washing on Sunday.”

“Okay. What about knickers? Come on, checking time. Can’t have you going to work and cheating.”

Elaine started to blush a little then remembered her shave job. The though made her braver. “Whatever,” she said, putting down her bag and undoing the button at the top of the fly.

“What’s going on?” asked Chelsea, joining the impromptu gathering. She had a towel under her arm and was heading for the bathroom.

“I’m making sure Elaine is still playing the game,” Kendra said, winking in Chelsea’s direction.

“You never give up, do you? I suppose you want to check me as well.”

“Tadaaaa,” said Elaine, lowering her black pants to mid thigh, thrusting her pelvis forward provocatively. She held her breath as she awaited her roommate’s reaction.

With a spring in her step, Elaine headed down the stairs to the bus stop on the main road in front of the apartment complex, passing lots of students heading in the opposite direction going to class. She’d be joining them in the afternoon. But for now she had four hours of dull mail sorting to do downtown at the clearinghouse. And with a National Geographic conference approaching, it was going to be hectic.

At least time will fly, she convinced herself.

Hopping on a cross-town bus, she found herself sitting next to a good-looking older guy in a business suit. He smelled nice and Elaine got to thinking.

Imagine if this was Gary. God, I’d just fucking die. She glanced across at him. He was reading a book. If it were Gary, he’d talk to me. He wouldn’t be shy, that’s for sure. He’d probably look across at me and say something like…

Jeez… I’ve no idea what he might say…

Elaine sat up a bit, straightening her back.

He’d probably just glance and smile. Though I doubt he’d be on a cross-town bus at 8.30 A.M. I guess he might be. He might have a meeting at the bank. Or maybe an appointment for something. God…

She swallowed nervously. Glancing covertly around the bus, she wondered if there were any other subs or Doms nearby. A guy of about thirty got on and winked at her as he swaggered past. He was unshaven and looked a little dirty. Hmmm… she thought. I doubt he’s a Dom. I guess he COULD be though. Probably more likely to be in advertising or something. Maybe a music teacher…

She smiled at her thoughts. Of course a teacher or artist could be a Dom, she reminded herself. In fact, she doubted whether anyone couldn’t be a Dominant. Or a sub for that matter. Not based solely on their job, anyway. It had more to do with their demeanour, she guessed. Like, ‘how they held themselves physically, and how they related to others’.

“Oh. Sorry. I was off with the fairies,” Elaine said apologetically, turning her legs so he could exit.

“That’s perfectly all right,” he said, glancing back and smiling at her before he got off the bus.

Elaine blushed.

Work was okay. Todd Whatshisname from Payroll harassed her again. He was the one who groped her in the supply closet at a weak moment during the last Christmas party. Usually he sickened her, even though she had regularly masturbated to the memory in the past. She just wished it were someone else.

Like Billy.

Billy Cosgrove worked part-time like Elaine did, and they only ran into each other on Mondays and Thursdays. He worked Tuesdays while Elaine worked Wednesdays. Billy was a hunk, even though he didn’t know it. Elaine often put Billy’s head on Todd’s shoulders in her fantasies. But Billy wasn’t the type to ask her out, even though Elaine thought she’d accept if he ever worked up the nerve. She figured if she was the virgin, then Billy wouldn’t have discovered his cock yet. That thought kept her smiling through most of the morning.

By the time she’d arrived home, changed and headed to class, she was back in her black skirt and flip-flops. Perhaps the figure-hugging maroon tank was a little risqué without a bra, but she had to save the damned bra for work on Wednesday. Elaine wasn’t sure what she’d do Thursday. Maybe wear a sweatshirt and die. She prayed for a cold snap.

One moron in class couldn’t help but comment. Elaine was thankful his words weren’t within earshot of others. Or the Professor. Why did guys think that observations like, ‘Hey baby, you’re looking good’, would instantly have her running into their arms? Just about any dickhead could tell she was ‘looking good’. If he hadn’t been looking at her tits when he said it, she may have even enjoyed the compliment. She sighed.

Oh, well.

At least her classes were done for another day. The year was passing quickly.

Damn, I hate these fucking steps, she thought, trudging up the last of them. She stopped three-quarters of the way up the final flight and looked around. Imagine running up and down here naked… she pondered, leaning on the railing and looking out over the quadrangle.

What happens if no one loses this stupid bet?

That’s not going to happen. They’re going to gang up on me. I just know it.

Pushing open the front door of her apartment should have been a relief, but with her suspicious thoughts, it wasn’t. Even once in her room, Elaine couldn’t shake the feeling that tonight she had to watch herself. She swapped her tank top for a loose white t-shirt and threw her flip-flops into her closet next to the black sweater that hid her new toys. She almost closed the closet door before she decided to check on them.

They were all there, just as she’d left them.

There was even an aroma of something tasty wafting through the apartment from the kitchen. Chelsea must be cooking something, Elaine thought, remembering Kendra couldn’t cook to save her life.

Fuck. I’m being stupid, Elaine thought.

She took a deep breath, again determined that she wasn’t going to be the one nakedly running up and down those damned stairs. In the kitchen, Kendra and Chelsea were chatting away, Chelsea slaving over the stove, while Kendra had a textbook open and a blank sheet of paper in front of her. They both greeted Elaine normally, which she found quite a relief.

“Hey Elaine, how was work?” Kendra asked as she picked up a pen, though Elaine wasn’t sure if she knew what to do with it.

“It was okay.” Elaine addressed Chelsea. “Something smells good.”

Chelsea smiled at Elaine and asked, “Are you hungry? I’ve made a ton of this pasta.”

“Smells like that chicken and broccoli one. Need a hand?”

“No, it’s all right. You could set the table though.”

“It could be pheasant’s breast for all I care. I’m starved,” Kendra said, not raising a finger to help.

I guess she might have asked if she could help before I arrived, thought Elaine, retrieving the knives, forks and cheap paper serviettes. “Maybe you could make that tomorrow night, Kendra,” Elaine suggested, smiling to herself.

Chelsea looked at Elaine and they both giggled. “Yeah right,” said Chelsea. “Kendra couldn’t cook an egg to save herself from starvation.” They both laughed but it wasn’t spiteful.

Elaine winked at Chelsea as she had an idea. “Kendra,” she said, setting up the table for their meal and grabbing her roommate’s attention. “I think I’d like to check whether you’re wearing panties or not.”

Kendra hardly moved except to pick up her textbook for a moment. “Can’t you see I’m trying to write a paper?”

“Bullshit,” Chelsea interjected. “You’ve been trying not to write that paper for the last hour.”

“Well, you haven’t been any help,” Kendra responded, a little too flippantly.

“Hey,” Chelsea said, banging the plastic spoon she was wielding onto the bench. “I always help with your papers if I can.”

“I know,” Kendra said softly, immediately realising she’d stepped over the line. “Sorry. I’ve just had a bad day. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

Chelsea made a sound that made it clear she was none too pleased. “Hmmph.” She wiped off the bench and ladled out the pasta and sauce without another word. Elaine thought better of interrupting the tense silence. When they’d all finally started eating, under her breath and with a mouthful of pasta, Chelsea said, “We’re all gonna get fat.”

With a mouthful of her own, Kendra giggled and almost choked. After swallowing and recovering, she started laughing while trying to tell the others what she was thinking. “I was just trying to say… ‘Who cares?‘… ‘Cause it tastes so good,” she laughed. “But… I think it’s going to… choke me to death!”

All three of them cracked up at that.

Shaking her head but still smiling, Chelsea looked right at Elaine and added, “And yeah, Elaine. I agree. I think Kendra should show us whether she’s still in the game. Only it should be a punishment for being so mean to me.” She and Elaine shared a wink.

“Heyyyy,” said Kendra, sensing an ambush. Then with a wicked thought, she answered, “All right. But turn about is fair play.”

Elaine and Chelsea looked at each other then both said almost simultaneously, “Huh?”

“Well, if we’re going to use ‘checking’, as a punishment, then we should all abide by that rule.”

Elaine giggled. “But you don’t even know what the punishment is yet.”

“Exactly,” Kendra said blankly, gazing intently at Elaine. Elaine thought the corners of Kendra’s mouth were going to turn up into an evil smile at any moment. “I can take anything you could dish out.”

Such was her stare, for a moment Elaine thought Kendra was speaking only to her. She felt the blush rising in her cheeks. What am I getting myself into? she wondered. Before she could send a cancel message to her brain, she’d said, “You’re bluffing.”

“The punishment has to fit the crime though,” Chelsea said. “And nothing illegal. We don’t want to get in trouble with the police.”

“Or campus security,” Elaine added.

“Agreed,” said Chelsea.

Wracking her brain, Elaine tried to think why this might not be a good idea. Either it wasn’t working, or she couldn’t think of anything on such short notice. In any case, she submitted. “Agreed.”

Kendra glanced at Elaine and winked. Then to Chelsea she said, “Okay, so what’s it gonna be? And remember, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to seem ungrateful.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” Chelsea said, wiping her mouth with a serviette as she sat back in her chair. “I think you should stand up right here at the table between Elaine and I, and lift up your skirt so we can check. And,” she paused, for dramatic effect. “Hold it up until one of us tells you to put it down.” She winked at Elaine and they both giggled.

Elaine could feel her cheeks getting hotter. She was going to be about a foot and a half from Kendra’s pussy. She wasn’t sure whether it was the embarrassment over being so close, or the thought that it might be her next that made her nipples harden. Desperately she willed them to stop but it was useless. With every passing moment they were getting harder, filling slowly with pulsing blood, a soft thrumming, beating like distant drums. Elaine swallowed. “I’m just about full,” she said, getting an idea. Unbuckling her belt, she pulled her t-shirt out of her pants and let it hang loosely, hoping her nipples would be less noticeable. She leaned forward again. Though she was happy with the result, by then her ears were burning.

“Fine, but can I finish my meal first?” Kendra whined. “I wouldn’t want to put either of you off your dinner.” She winked at Elaine, adding that evil smile that seemed to taunt. “Besides, my food will get cold.”

As soon as Kendra turned back to Chelsea, Elaine stole a peek downward, seeing for herself her pointed nipples, pressing insistently against the cotton fabric of her shirt. She felt her pulse quicken. Battling for supremacy in her mind were the twin thoughts of her own embarrassment and Kendra’s exposure, in close-up, and right before her eyes. It was going to be the first time she’d seen someone else at close range, male or female, and the idea made her mouth dry. Skewering pasta and broccoli onto her fork and lifting it to her mouth, she hoped the sauce would help. It was hard to breathe and eat at the same time.

An expectant silence fell over the table while Kendra ate. Chelsea mouthed the words, ‘slow down’ across the table and Elaine got the message.

With a sly wink, Elaine asked, “Does anyone want a drink?”

“The boys left a few beers in the fridge. A six-pack, I think. I’ll have one,” said Chelsea, as Elaine got to her feet.

“Me too,” said Kendra.

“Not till after your punishment,” Chelsea retorted. Elaine smiled and shook her head as she opened the three brown bottles and placed them on the table. Chelsea grabbed hers and after she sat again, so did Elaine.

“Oh, that’s just torture,” Kendra complained, shaking her head and finishing her pasta a little quicker. She swallowed down her last mouthful and sat back in the chair, wiping her chin. When she was done, she announced, “Okay. Let’s get this over with.”

Elaine and Chelsea couldn’t help but laugh nervously. Kendra pushed back her chair, stood and promptly pulled up the hem of her miniskirt with both hands, framing her shaved pussy perfectly. Elaine stared. She glanced at Chelsea but she was also looking. Elaine saw Chelsea glance up at Kendra and she did the same. Kendra was just looking down on them both, smiling!

She isn’t bothered by this at all! Maybe it’s a fantasy or something…

Elaine fought to keep control over her breathing. Wide-eyed, she looked at Chelsea again and they exchanged glances and giggled some more.

Kendra’s pussy was quite pretty, though her inner lips protruded a little in comparison to Elaine’s. Her hooded soldier barely peeked out at all, and it certainly wasn’t as hard as Elaine’s was right at that moment. She looked dry and Elaine swallowed when she realised her own pussy was the exact opposite.

God, I could never do this, Elaine thought, a new wave of heat enveloping her cheeks. I’d just die! And I’d be soaked! Just from the humiliation! “That’s enough!” Elaine gasped, surprised at how vehement she sounded. She’d almost shouted!

“God, about time,” said Chelsea, smirking at Elaine. “I thought you’d never stop her. I mean, she’s got a pretty pussy, but jeez Elaine. I would have stopped her in five seconds, but you took way longer.”

“Huh? What?” Elaine asked, feeling suddenly cornered.

Kendra had fixed her skirt and was leaning on the back of her chair, looking perplexed.

“I mean,” continued Chelsea. “I was waiting for you to call a halt. But I guess you liked the look of her cunt.” The way Chelsea had said it almost sent a shudder through Elaine.

Thinking remarkably quickly, Elaine countered, “But I thought you were going to say when her punishment was up.”

“I said either of us, and you know it.”

Elaine knew she was right. It was just like Chelsea to pull something like this. So, resorting to the lowest denominator, eloquently Elaine said, “You’re full of shit, Chelsea.”

Picking up her plate, she grabbed Kendra’s and took them both to the sink, drawing water to wash up. She heard both girls giggle behind her back, but she didn’t hear much else after that. Before long Chelsea added her empty plate to the pile and all was quiet save for the tinkle of cutlery as it was washed. The television came on in the other room and Elaine was left to her thoughts.

I am SO moving out at the end of this lease. I need to be around people I can talk to. No games. No bullshit. Just plain honesty. It would be nice to live with friends.Mentally ticking each of them off, she reconsidered. Maybe not. Most of her friends lived in disaster areas as it was. Their rooms could be rated as toxic waste dumps. She smiled and shook her head. Maybe I could find a loft.

When the dishes were done, Elaine headed for her room and prepared to shower. Glancing at her silent computer, she winced. Her term paper needed work, but at that moment, she didn’t feel like it. She wanted to go to the chat room and hopefully talk to Gary and restore some sanity to her headspace. He mightn’t be there anyway. She sighed. I probably shouldn’t go either. I don’t want to scare him off… But, if he’s there, won’t it be because he wants to talk to me?

She wished she knew.

By the time she’d finished showering, she’d talked herself into ignoring her roommates. At least for a day. She had to send a message somehow, and nothing else seemed to work.

Then she had a terrible thought. She didn’t want to get in trouble and say the wrong thing, or they could do to her what Chelsea did to Kendra! Just about anything could be construed as ‘the wrong thing’. Swallowing her pride, and before she changed her mind, she walked down the hall and stood leaning in the lounge room doorway, waiting for the ads. Thankfully CSI was on and the others were engrossed, so when Elaine said goodnight, telling them she was going to play online for a bit then crash, they hardly acknowledged her.

Thank God, she thought, switching on the computer, grateful for the respite. Changing into her nightie, she was glad she had one to wear.

MasterServant was there. acquiescent was also there, as was someone whose name was capitalised, so Elaine assumed he was a Dominant. He called himself Clockwork. She knew he was a ‘he’, because she checked his profile. As she suspected, he claimed he was a Dom, so Elaine chose to be polite until she felt otherwise.

“Hello MasterServant, hello Clockwork,” she typed. “Hugs acquiescent, it’s good to see you.”

“Greetings kurious,” Gary typed, adding a smile.

“Hello kurious. Nice to meet you,” typed Clockwork.

“Hi sis,” acquiescent sent, greeting her warmly. “I’m just in the middle of something here, I’ll join you in a bit.” She then left for the ‘Be Right Back’ room. Elaine was suddenly alone with two Doms, and she wasn’t sure how to feel about that. She wished Gary would message her privately, and he did.

“I was hoping you’d come.”

Elaine wasn’t sure what to say. She wasn’t sure what he’d want to hear! “Um,” she typed finally. “I should be working on a paper I have to do. But my mind isn’t on it.” She was pleased she hadn’t lied.

“I’m glad on the one hand. I wouldn’t want your paper to be late on the other.”

In the room Clockwork gave his farewell and said he was having an early night. Both Elaine and Gary told him to ‘Be well’, and bid him good night. Then they were alone.

“It won’t be late. I’m still well ahead of schedule,” Elaine sent, referring to her paper.

“I hope it stays that way,” he typed in return.

It sounded just a little like an order, so playfully, Elaine typed, “Yes, Sir.”

A moment later came back the message, “I smile when you call me, ‘Sir’.”

Elaine felt herself start to blush all over again, only this time it was like a warm blanket. “I like making you smile,” she typed, surprising herself with her own honesty.

“Elaine,” he typed.

“Yes, Sir?” She smiled at her words.

“Can we add each other to Messenger so we don’t have to meet here?”

For a moment Elaine wondered why. Then she wondered why she was wondering. “Of course.”

“Sometimes I’d like to talk to you without any distractions.”

“Okay.” Elaine’s hands were shaking a little. “Do you mean now?”

“Yes, why not.”

“Will Simone mind?”

“I doubt it. I think her Dom is expected home at any minute. She’s making dinner.”

“Isn’t it a bit late for that?”

“I think she’s on the west coast somewhere.”

“Oh,” Elaine said, reminding herself that Gary knew she was in his time zone. She hoped she wasn’t making a mistake. They left messages in the chat room for Simone to read when she returned.

Within minutes they had added each other to their list of chat partners and were chatting privately on Messenger. Gary was right. There were no distractions and she could almost hear his voice as she read his words. It was far more intimate. And her body was reacting as she’d come to expect. In fact, she realised, it seemed to be getting more intense, and happening more quickly each time she saw him. Or was it just seeing Kendra’s pussy earlier? She’d been hot then, admittedly for reasons she wasn’t certain about. She might have just been embarrassed. Shaking her head, she tried to concentrate, subconsciously squeezing her thighs together, doing little to quench the embers glowing within.

“Are you usually home around nine P.M.?” he asked.

“Yes, unless I’m going out. Which is rare.”

“I’ll make you a deal. We can meet here on Messenger at nine P.M. any night you wish, so long as I am able to be here. If I’m not here between five to and five past, then ‘I can’t make it’ and you shouldn’t expect me. You may do the same.”

If she were talking, Elaine would have stuttered. “Thank you, Sir,” she typed.

“You can call me Gary, if you prefer.”

“It doesn’t feel right. Not yet,” Elaine replied. “I don’t know why.”

“Probably because you feel it.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not following.”

“I think you will, if I’m not wrong.” For a moment they sat staring impassively at their respective screens. That’s what Elaine assumed. She didn’t get the feeling he’d left or was talking to someone else. In moments, another message came. “Just relax and feel it come over you,” he encouraged. “Close your eyes and picture yourself with me in your mind.”

Elaine did as he asked. She saw herself quite clearly, kneeling quietly. The room was intimately lit with candles or low lighting, she wasn’t sure. She was facing him, looking up at him. But somehow her head was inclined slightly downward. Like she was looking at him through her lashes.

“My hands are lightly in my lap,” typed Elaine, seeing the image in her mind. “Crossed on top of each other, open and facing upwards. Like one is cradling the other.”

“Is your back straight?”

“Yes. I always sit up straight. Um, I’m not very tall,” Elaine hoped he didn’t mind. She blushed at the thought of minding. “But I’m not straining. I’m very relaxed. I feel… wonderful.”

“Are you looking at me?”

“Yes. You’re smiling at me now and again. You’re reading.”

“Is there music?”

“Yes, but it’s not loud. It’s in the background.”

“I am your focus.”

“Yes.”

“Do you know what ‘subspace’ is?”

“No, Sir.”

“Subspace is the place you go in your mind when you touch the essence of your submissive nature.”

Elaine gulped as the words sunk in. That was how she felt. That was what she was feeling! “Yes. I understand.”

“Let it wash over you. Let yourself be.”

“May I turn off my bedroom light?” Elaine had no idea why she asked him if she could.

“You may.”

It was only a step away. “Thank you.”

Gary sent a smile. It made Elaine’s heart soar and in her mind she could almost see it. “I wish I could see your eyes,” she typed.

“I have a picture if you’d like.”

She hesitated to respond. That wasn’t what she meant. This was an escalation. “I just meant…”

What did she mean?

Gary sensed her uncertainty. “It’s not a swap. I won’t demand one from you. In fact, I won’t ask for one. You will have to offer it to me. And if you do, know I will accept it with relish.”

Elaine wanted to see his eyes. She wanted to see them badly. Before she could type another word, the option to accept a file popped up on her screen. She reached for her mouse, the cursor hovering above the ‘download file’ button.

He typed, “I’m whispering… Accept or not, little one.”

Elaine clicked the button, swallowing and feeling her body tingle as waves of emotion washed across her skin, taking her breath away. She hoped she’d done the right thing. She couldn’t help herself. She needed to know. It might smash her fantasies into a thousand pieces, but she had to know. She had one last chance. ‘Open file?’ was the option. She could always delete it. She didn’t have to look.

She opened it. In a flash his picture was on her screen.

Her heart stopped.

She couldn’t breathe.

And she couldn’t tear her eyes away.

It was a close up. Brown eyes. Dark brown. Almost black like her own. Deep and mysterious. Lines at their corners. Not deep. His face was timeless. She glanced at his mouth. Her heart skipped a beat. He was smiling! His lips were full, light pink on his tanned skin. The corners of his mouth turned upward playfully. Elaine licked her lips subconsciously. It looked like an afternoon picture. Unfocussed dark green shadows played in the background. His skin glowed golden in the early evening sun. Sweat trickled down one side of his face. He’d been working.

In her mind, Elaine saw him wipe his brow with his forearm just before the photo was taken. Never before had she seen a more erotic photograph of a man after a hard days work. His eyes pierced hers. They drew her in. His strong jaw was speckled with dirt and a day’s growth. But still his eyes distracted her.

His hair was dark and glossy. Unkempt and wild. Wavy. Sweat dripped from places where a few strands were stuck together, pointed and curved, framing his face. Framing his eyes. Elaine didn’t realise she was smiling. Seconds passed as she lost herself.

And found herself.

“Okay?” flashed on her screen.

Elaine blinked. Where had she been? How long had she been staring? “Yes. Sorry.”

“That’s not very enthusiastic. I’m disappointed.” He sent a smile with its tongue poking out.

Elaine felt like she hadn’t taken a breath in minutes. Her hands hesitated over the keyboard as she tried to put her thoughts into words. This was a man. Not a boy. A real man, with hands that could…

“You are beautiful,” she typed. She almost shit herself.

Did I mean that?

Yes!

He typed back, “Thank you. I’m flattered.”

In the picture, his eyes were so distracting they drew her from the conversation.

“Are you still there?” he asked.

She minimised the photo. She would look at it later. Before bed! “Yes, I’m sorry again.”

“Please let me know if you are away from your keys.”

“I will, Sir. But I was right here.”

“What were you doing?”

“Staring.”

A moment of silence passed. He sent a smile. Then, “I hope that fills in the blanks.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“You’re going to make me blush.”

“Oh, stop it,” Elaine said, giggling out loud. Her face was starting to hurt from smiling so long.

“Yeah, I was kidding.” He sent a wink.

Elaine bit her lip. She had a similar photo on her computer. Well, not exactly, but it was clear and had lots of personality. Her mother thought it was horrible, probably because she and a girlfriend were hugging cheek-to-cheek, poking their tongues at the camera. It was a provocative picture, taken last winter when she went home for a week.

“I’d like to send you mine,” Elaine typed, escalating their relationship beyond the rational. What am I doing? She couldn’t stop herself. She hoped he would like her.

She hoped he would approve.

“Are you sure?”

She was looking at the ‘Actions’ tab, figuring out how to send it. “No. But I have to. I need to know.”

“I’m sure you are beautiful. Don’t be afraid.”

“I’ll try.”

“Okay.”

She bit her lip. “Um, I’m on the left.” All of a sudden her pussy contracted gently and she felt herself wetting her chair. She stood up rapidly. “One moment please,” she typed.

“Sure.”

She grabbed a towel and folded it a couple of times, laying it over her chair and resuming her seat. She was glad it was dry but knew it wasn’t going to stay that way. Opening the ‘Actions’ tab again, she selected ‘Send a File’ and found the photograph.

In moments the deed was done. She’d crossed a line she had no intention of crossing. How many lines will I cross like this? As the seconds passed, she waited for his reaction. She craved it.

She needed it.

At last it came. “Never lie to me again.”

Her jaw dropped. Tears filled her eyes unbidden. What had she done? She was about to sob!

What is happening to me?

“Never say you are not beautiful. Never again. Promise me.”

She sobbed anyway. She couldn’t help it. Tears streaked her cheeks and her body flushed with anguished pleasure, shuddering in a miasma of conflicting emotions.

“I…” she began, almost unable to see the letters she was typing. “I promise.”

Chapter 08

“And I mean it,” said Gary. “I don’t want to hear any more self-deprecating remarks, okay? Things like, ‘I can’t do it, ‘ or ‘I’m not good enough, ‘ or ‘I’m not pretty.’ They’re all out, got it?”

Elaine blinked. “Yes, Sir,” she typed back quickly. She waited for him to respond, sensing he was gathering his thoughts. It gave her a moment to make a decision. She’d walk taller after tonight. She almost giggled as she wiped her eyes and blew her nose. She tried to relax while she waited.

He used silence very effectively.

“I have passionate convictions.”

Elaine felt her head nodding. “Yes, Sir.”

“I understand the vanilla ways in which you think. By that, I mean the ways you have been taught all your life to respond to situations and questions. Saying you are not beautiful when you clearly are, is considered to be ‘humble’ in the vanilla world. It’s a valued thing. So I know you weren’t intentionally lying. I understand that.”

“Yes, Sir.” Elaine took a deep breath. “Thank you.”

“It’s all right. You have a good heart, Elaine. Until I’m proved wrong, if anyone asks, I’ll tell them you are beautiful inside and out. So you better get used to it.”

“You’re good for my ego.”

“Good,” he messaged, adding a smile. “Perhaps we should call it a night and get some sleep.”

“I don’t want to go yet. I’m still formulating a response.”

“A response? I’m shocked,” he sent, then winked.

Elaine smiled. “I’m just a bit blown away, is all. I want to thank you for what you said, though.”

“I think I almost botched it. All I meant to say was, ‘ I think you are very attractive’. I could have been a little more diplomatic.”

“But I learned a valuable lesson.”

“Which was?”

“I learned that you like the way I look. And you really meant it. Knowing you were pleased has made my night.”

“Sometimes you sound like you are a hundred, Elaine. You have wisdom beyond your years.”

She beamed. “Thank you, Sir.”

Gary insisted Elaine go to bed. With an eight-thirty class in the morning and after having had a late night the night before, he pulled rank on her. “As a friend, you should expect me to take an interest in your self-improvement. As a Dominant, you should expect me to tell you when you screw up. And I’ll offer advice too. In some cases you may rather not listen, but it will be well meaning.”

Elaine smiled. “Yes, Sir. I appreciate you taking an interest in me.”

“Well said.”

“I’ll always listen though.”

“And I’ll always give you a chance to change my mind about something.”

“Deal,” typed Elaine. She wondered if Gary was smiling at the screen too.

“Now get to bed.” His message was followed by a wink again.

“Yes, Sir,” she typed, grinning. “I hope to see you soon.”

“I’m sure you will.”

As she always did, she sent a goodbye into the chat room and watched and smiled as everyone farewelled her generously. In her mind’s eye she saw Gary sitting back in his chair thinking, just as she was.

When she clicked out of the chat room and started closing windows, she found Gary’s picture. She’d forgotten it was there. Staring into his incredible eyes, Elaine allowed her mind to wander. Calling him ‘Sir’ seemed almost effortless now. How she called anyone ‘Sir’ in the first place was almost beyond her. A teacher in high school had insisted on being called ‘Sir’. At the time she’d thought it was archaic and outdated, a throwback to a simpler, more male-dominated time. Like the fifties or something.

As she studied Gary’s face, she also wondered how the female Dominants fitted in. There was nothing Fifties-like about Dommes. Were they respected by the male Dominants? Was BDSM a modern movement? And what about feminism? Was there room for feminism in BDSM? She’d have to ask…

For some reason the words of Catherine in Wuthering Heights came to mind…

‘… the thing that irks me the most is this shattered prison. I’m tired, tired of being enclosed here. I’m wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there, not seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart; but really with it, and in it.’

Did Emily Bronte desire a world unavailable to women today? Or was she referring to a state of mind, a shattered prison, perhaps something unfathomable in these days of legislated equality? Elaine understood the usual translation: that Catherineyearned for the freedom to choose her own destiny. But right at that moment, all she could think of was a new world, one opening its arms to her, one that offered exactly what Catherine seemed to be seeking.

She smiled at Gary’s picture.

Hmmm… So where did male submissives fit in? In philosophical terms, the male submissive was the anomaly. BDSM couldn’t really be sexist when males were ‘allowed’ to be submissive. Elaine briefly wondered how prevalent BDSM practices were in the gay community. Were male subs more female than male? What was it de Beauvoir said? ‘One is not born, but rather becomes a woman.’

Argh.

Elaine realised she was tired and her brain was not working well. Recalling such quotes out of context only proved to her she was ready for bed. And besides, she was in such a habit of looking at things in gender terms, she wondered which of her personas was doing the thinking: The vanilla one or the submissive one. No matter how flawed it may have seemed, every thought she had was coloured by her experience. She was beginning to see things differently.

“Good night, Sir,” she whispered, saving the picture and switching off her machine.

Perhaps ‘submissiveness’ was androgenous, Elaine thought, slipping between the sheets.

Her eyelids felt heavy.

She slept well.

****************************

Most of the Elaine’s spare time on Tuesday was spent trying to finish the first draft of her term paper for Philosophy 301. She was determined to write something on ‘Sartre and the Authentic State of Being’. She was hoping to impress her Professor, rather than open up the uncertainty that was bubbling away in the back of her mind.

And it was great. True to her original plan, she finished the paper as she’d envisaged, and was very pleased with the result. She was also pleased to see her general lack of conviction hadn’t been conveyed. Reading back her paper made her feel like a bit of a fraud, but she wasn’t going to change it. The paper was good, and a few edits and embellishments would make it great. Her Prof would be pleased.

Her classes were okay, but after Feminist Philosophy, Elaine felt even more disconnected. The tutorial discussion centred on the metaphysical question, ‘What is a woman?‘ Her tutor gave her a couple of imploring looks when the various conversations went off on tangents. She tried to contribute a few times, but she had nothing new to offer. For someone usually involved in discussions, her silence was out of the ordinary.

For the first time in her life, Elaine realised some of her thoughts were a contradiction.

She wanted a man who treated her like a woman. She wanted to be treated as an equal. She wanted to genuinely be heard and have her concerns addressed. She wanted someone firm who provided her with direction. She didn’t want to be a doormat. Sometimes she wanted to be a toy.

As goose bumps rose on her arms, she shook her head and smiled.

She had to redefine herself.

And I have to do some reading, she resolved.

As usual, Accountancy in Business was crap. All it did was make her long for the end of the year. She would drop the last of her father’s expectations from her studies when she abandoned Accounting at the end of May. She dreaded telling him, and though he’d rant and rave, he’d still support her. She was still ‘Daddy’s girl’.

She realised she was starting to narrow down her alternatives drastically.

Ugh. I might have to teach.

**************************

Maybe her Dad would be okay. Elaine’s mother could be more of a problem. She’d always hoped Elaine would become a doctor, or at least some kind of scientist. Or a vet, Elaine thought as she turned the key, opening the door to her apartment. Their divorce should come through soon, she reminded herself.

After tossing her bag on the bed, she went to the kitchen to make a coffee before she started on her term paper for Feminist Philosophy. She still had a week till it was due and was pleased with herself for being a few days ahead of schedule. She passed Kendra who waved to her as she lay on her back in the living room, listening to music in headphones with a textbook resting on her stomach. Elaine waved back.

In the kitchen, Chelsea was busy chopping vegetables. “Feel like curry?” she asked. “I got some lamb.”

“Sounds great. Tomorrow we can finish off the spaghetti if you like.”

“Good plan.”

“Do you want a coffee?” Elaine asked.

Chelsea picked up her wine glass and showed it to Elaine before taking a sip. “Wine’s in the fridge if you want a glass. Help yourself.”

“Maybe later. Thanks.” After making her coffee, Elaine returned to her room.

An hour later Chelsea yelled out that dinner was ready and they sat down to eat.

Conversation around the table centred on school and lecturers and how boring it all became as the end of term neared. Kendra was trying to convince Chelsea to try out for the cheerleading squad next semester, but Chelsea had never wanted to associate ‘with those airheads’. Elaine thought Chelsea probably would have made it. She was blonde and tanned and moved like a cat. She could dance too.

Chelsea wouldn’t be moved. “I so don’t think so.”

“Think of the parties!” Kendra implored, as if it would make a difference.

“And the outfits!” Elaine teased.

Chelsea rolled her eyes. “Anyway, Elaine would make the squad before I did.”

Elaine’s mouth gaped. “I would not.”

“Sure you would. So could Kendra, but she’s too pushy.”

All Elaine could do was blush.

“My ass is way too big,” said Kendra.

“Oh, bullshit,” Chelsea said. “Look in the mirror. You look great.”

The conversation meandered in various directions, but Elaine was struck by Chelsea’s words to Kendra. Gary had said almost the exact same thing the night before. Elaine decided she would look in the mirror before she spoke with him that evening. Well, she hoped he’d be there. Elaine was grateful there were no more cheerleading suggestions. Not in a pink fit would she try out. She shook her head.

The curry had been demolished and Kendra was hard at work doing the dishes. Elaine excused herself, heading back to her room to study. Stopping in the bathroom to brush her teeth, for a moment she was mesmerised by the image in front of her.

She leaned forward, placing her hands on the edge of the sink and studiing her face. Turning her head a little one way, then the other, she couldn’t decide whether she was pretty or not. Staring into her own eyes, she thought they were her best feature. She checked for blemishes and had to admit her skin was pretty good. She thought her lips were maybe a little full, but full lips were all the rage these days. My hair could do with a trim, she thought, fiddling with it in the mirror. And maybe a colour. The package wasn’t bad. But ‘beautiful’? Oh, I don’t know. I give up. She brushed her teeth and headed to her room.

Pausing before the mirror over her dresser, she gazed at herself again. She liked what she saw. And she was proud of herself. She’d shut the fact of her nakedness out of her mind today. Mostly. Well, she had to. As it was, the dark grey skirt she wore would have stained if it weren’t for the built-in liner.

Only when Professor Malcolm Sartori appeared to take an uncharacteristic interest in her chest had Elaine been reminded of her bralessness. She’d gone for the two-tanks look, a looser one over a tight one, hoping for both support and some camouflage. If Professor Sartori weren’t so good looking, she probably could have ignored it. For the remaining five minutes of the class, she imagined all kinds of things. She even had the bizarre thought of flashing him, but she didn’t.

Her nipples tingled as she disrobed, but she didn’t dare touch them. Grabbing her nightie, she turned her back on the mirror and changed, resolving to get some work done and ignore the excitement bubbling away in the background. Booting up her computer, for the next hour and a half Elaine posted responses in the Philosophy forum and worked on her Accountancy project. She wasn’t in the mood for Feminism.

As nine o’clock approached, she started getting edgy. At ten to nine, she packed away her textbooks and clicked out of the college website. Saving what she’d done and closing her Accountancy project, she opened Messenger and waited impatiently, biting her lip.

She was watching the clock when it ticked over to nine P.M. Her nipples were itchy and she pinched them, making them spring to life. A rush of adrenaline washed over her skin, the silky hairs standing up. She clenched her pussy in anticipation, squeezing her legs together and balling her fists.

“Hello, Elaine,” popped up on her screen, the very instant he logged in.

After a short moment, he typed, “Are you okay? I sense something is on your mind.”

How did he do that? “I’m not allowed to lie, am I?”

“I’m afraid not. Would you rather I go?”

“NO!” Elaine almost squealed aloud! “No, Sir. Please don’t go. This is where I want to be. With you.”

“Good,” he typed, sending a smile.

“I’m just very excited. That’s all.”

“Sexually, you mean?”

Elaine took a deep breath. “Yes.”

“I’d like you to concentrate. Open your knees an inch, no clenching, no touching. Okay?”

“Yes,” Elaine was struck by her need to do as he asked. “Yes, Sir.”

“And sit up straight.”

She did. She usually did. “How did you know I was slumped?”

“I didn’t know. I guessed.”

“Oh.”

“Elaine?”

“Um, yes?”

“Concentrate…”

He was reading her mind! Her nipples were aching, distracting her. “I’m sorry. Yes, Sir?”

“When you ask a question, like the one above, you should build into the question a request to ask it, such as, ‘May I ask how you knew I was slumped?‘ Either that or in the first place you should ask if you might ask a question. Understand?”

“I think so.”

“Smiles.”

A moment passed and Elaine remembered some of her questions from earlier in the day. “Sir, may I ask you some questions I thought of today?”

“Very good. And yes, you may.”

Trying to arrange her scattered thoughts, Elaine typed, “How does submission and feminism handle their issues?”

“Oh, man. Okay. Someone’s had her thinking cap on. Give me a sec.”

Elaine smiled. In her imagination she saw him scratching his chin. She wondered if he was doing it. Watching the screen intently, she realised she liked talking to him a lot.

“Here’s the thing,” he typed. “Submission allows you to be who you really are. Not everyone is a table thumper. Not men, and not women. Let’s agree there is inequality out there. That’s a given. And I admire those who wish to redress imbalances. But everyone is different. One table thumper may be different to the next. One quiet person may be different from the next. Submission itself is forgiving. Submission allows for individual differences. Submission even allows a woman, or a man, to be both a table thumper and a submissive. Feminism is more strict, frowning on certain practices, one of them being ‘submission to men’. However, a woman submitting to another woman is not frowned upon. And nor is male submission to female dominance. Interesting, don’t you think?”

“Yes. And it brings up another question.”

“Okay, remember it. I’ll finish this answer first.”

Elaine crossed her fingers to remember her question. “Um, Sir?”

“Yes?”

“May I ask if I can get a towel to sit on?” Elaine blushed fiercely. What drove me to ask THAT?

“Sure,” he typed, as though it were a normal request. When Elaine returned in seconds, she read his words. “Within one’s genuine submission, one finds the ability to express oneself and be oneself, with a level of freedom that feminists dream about. When your man or woman cares so deeply for you that he or she will do anything to help you to be who you want to be, then I think a higher level of happiness, as a woman or a man, can be reached.”

“So, within my bonds, I am free?”

“Hmmm… Close. I’d say, within my physical bonds, my mind is free.”

“You’re a philosopher!”

“I’ve been doing some reading too.” He sent a smile.

“You have?”

“Yes. You are into Philosophy. I want to be able to help. So I bought some books.”

Elaine didn’t know what to say. Then it came to her. “Thank you, Sir.”

“My pleasure.”

She shuddered and her pussy clenched. She’d relaxed for just a moment and it had happened before she could stop it. Should I tell him? she wondered. She uncrossed her fingers, thankfully remembering her question. “How are Dommes seen in the lifestyle? And male subs?”

“In a philosophical sense? Or in practical terms?”

“Both.”

“Well, dominance and submission are not gender specific terms. In the whole range of people, races, and creeds in the world, there are those that are more, and less, dominant and submissive. I think this is a defendable truth. There are more and less dominant and submissive women; and there are more and less dominant and submissive men.”

“I understand. Yes, I’ll go along with that.”

“Thanks,” he typed, sending a wink on its heels. Elaine’s cheeks burned. “So to me at least,” he said, before she could apologise, “A submissive’s or Dominant’s respect for the lifestyle determines my respect for them, regardless of gender. One of my friends is a Domme and she is a leading figure in the lifestyle. And I met paper tigerat an event once. His name is Rudi. He’s cool too. Depending on where you meet people, sometimes it’s hard to tell whether they’re Dom or sub.”

“I read somewhere that some are only sub or Dom in the bedroom. Is that possible?”

“I think it is, if we’re just talking about the tools and the role playing. So say tying up or cuffing or blindfolding, pretty mild stuff usually, combined with pretending to be sub and Dom/me, but without a commitment to the lifestyle. Players may have a healthy respect for the lifestyle. They would also respect those who chose it, but for them, they choose not to commit. I imagine such people to be those in powerful positions etc. People whose lives would get in the way of a commitment.”

“That makes sense.”

“Like university students.”

“I’m not ready to commit.” Elaine’s body flushed.

“I know.”

A moment’s silence passed before Elaine could think of what to say. “Thank you for answering some of my questions, Sir. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Can I…” she began, then hesitated. Her skin tingled as she typed. “Can I ask what happens when you confess something?”

“Do you mean, when the Dom/me confesses something? Or when the sub confesses something?”

“Can you talk about the difference, please? Um, and all about it? I need to know.” Elaine almost gasped. Her pussy was getting so hot. She could feel the rough texture of the towel pressing wetly against her. She wanted to squirm so badly. Her nipples nagged her. They throbbed rhythmically with every beat of her heart. And her face was so hot she was afraid to touch it, to know the truth.

I want to tell him!

“Well sure. But let’s step back a bit.”

Elaine gulped, fearing what he might say. She needn’t have worried.

“Confession has to do with being honest. Some confessions are simply ‘telling someone about your day’, or ‘telling someone your plans’, or ‘telling someone how you feel’. They are quite simply informing your partner of what is going on. Both people would do this, on an ongoing basis, in any half-decent relationship. Conversations may follow. Or they might not. This is communication, and without labouring the obvious, communication is essential in any relationship for it to have a future.”

“Agreed,” typed Elaine, her hands shaking.

“So basically, confession is the act of ‘saying what’s on your mind’. But of course, in the lifestyle we don’t call this exchange of information, a confession. What we call ‘a confession’ is a more formal confession, rather than a sharing of everyday events, thoughts or occurrences. This kind of confession, by definition, is difficult to give. It may call on you to be the most honest than you have ever been in your life. It may concern thoughts or deeds that make you feel guilty for not sharing. Or it might concern matters for which you could be punished.”

Elaine swallowed. Can I do it? Can I be honest and confess? “Sir? May I confess something?”

He sent a smile. “It would be my pleasure to hear your confession, Elaine.”

“I feel like I’m in church,” Elaine typed, giggling. She almost bit her tongue when her pussy clenched again.

“Confession is good for the soul. And honesty is its own reward. Knowing you were honest is a good feeling. A really good feeling. Trust me.”

“I trust you.” Elaine said aloud, before remembering to type it. She could hardly breathe. She wanted to squeeze her thighs together so badly. She ached all over!

“Let yourself be yourself,” he typed.

“This is really embarrassing,” Elaine began, thinking she had just made one of her biggest understatements ever. “I really tried not to, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t mean to,” she confessed awkwardly, her mouth drying up. “I stopped concentrating and I clenched. Twice. And you asked me not to.”

“You’re right. And I appreciate your honesty. You tried hard, so you are forgiven. Relax, Elaine.”

She tried to. A tear came to her eye. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Why do I feel like this?” Elaine asked, on the verge of tears.

“Like what?”

“Guilty. Like I let you down.”

“You haven’t let me down. You confessed something I imagine you found very difficult to confess. You have pleased me greatly. I’m smiling, Elaine.”

She brightened a little. “Really?”

“Yes. Really.” He sent a smile.

Elaine giggled in relief. “So I’m not in trouble?”

“Noooo. Of course not. Elaine, we’re just chatting, okay? We’ve made no commitment to each other. You may pick and choose when you wish to ‘line up’ with me, to see how I would react, etc. I wouldn’t punish you for what you said. Nor would I punish you if you hadn’t told me. You are not mine to punish.”

“But you would if I were yours.”

“Of course.”

Elaine gulped. “How?”

“I knew you’d ask.”

“Blushes.”

“Chuckles.”

“What’s would you do to me? I’m dying to know.”

“When I send the answer, I’ll allow you five seconds to clench, with your thighs tightly together. Then release the clench and knees six inches apart, okay?”

“Okay. Can I pinch my nipples?” Elaine’s jaw dropped at her own words. Her ears burned

“No. You didn’t ask properly.”

She pouted subconsciously. “Yes, Sir.”

Gary made her wait. The anticipation was making her cross-eyed. Finally his message arrived and she gasped! “I’d take you over my knee and spank your naughty ass, Elaine. That’s what I’d do. Now clench. Five seconds.”

She did. Hard. And as soon as she did, her eyes closed and she started trembling. She counted to five and shot her eyes and knees open, fearful of actually orgasming.

God, I’d hate confessing that!

“Six inches, remember.”

“Yes,” Elaine said, complying. Her mind drifted off. She was kneeling between his legs, fully clothed. Looking up into his sexy eyes. She wanted to look at his picture again.

“Elaine.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Six inches.”

“Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.” Her legs had almost drifted together again. She jerked them apart and paid attention, clenching her teeth instead.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“Yes,” Elaine hesitated barely a moment. “I’m just very hot, Sir. Being told what to do is effecting me a lot more than I expected.” Confessing was getting easier.

“Are you able to play?”

“No. I probably won’t until the weekend, when my roommates go out. If they go out.”

“I want you to test your self-control.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I want you to do as I ask, Elaine.”

“I’ll do my best,” she typed, adding a grin.

“Since it’s unlikely you’ll be able to play until the weekend, let’s test your self-control. Elaine, you may not play until the weekend.”

Completely unconsciously, she typed the words that came to mind. “Knowing I am not allowed will only make it harder for me.” She blinked as she read them, completely stunned.

“That’s the point. Prove to me you can control yourself. Do as I asked. Test yourself.”

Elaine read his message four times. It was true. Nothing physical would need to change. He wanted her to think about it differently. He was making it into a test. Already he is testing me. As her hands started to shake again, she realised their relationship was escalating, ratcheting up another level. It was an escalation she hadn’t expected. She was entering unknown territory. She swallowed, then typed, “Yes, Sir.”

“So no matter what opportunities you have, you will not play until Saturday night.”

In bed that night, Elaine’s body was buzzing. Her nipples were sore with the need for her touch and she wasn’t sleepy at all. Lying on her side was out of the question as it stimulated her pussy too much. Even on her back, it fluttered randomly. Her skin glowed. Tomorrow was going to be hell.

Going without underwear wasn’t easy. She’d managed it once, but tomorrow would be a different story. Just the thought of telling Gary she was clenching her pussy made it clench again as she stared at the ceiling.

It’s going to be on my mind allll day. I just know it.

Thinking about sex wasn’t making her tired. Instead she thought about her clothes for tomorrow.

She couldn’t wear her bra again. After wearing it twice, she’d normally toss it in the Laundry Hamper. She’d wear the black halter under her blouse tomorrow, which would leave her light blue tank, the black and white halter and two t-shirt left. She’d wear the black one again tomorrow afternoon after work, and again on Thursday. That left Friday.

She winced.

All she’d have left was the mini. Or her black jeans and she couldn’t wear them again, no way. Not all day. The mini she’d purchased as a victim of fashion. She just knew it would blow up in the wind unless she held it down. Ruing the day she bought it, she remembered why she’d only ever worn it around the apartment.

I’ll go without stockings tomorrow. That way I can wear them on Friday with the damned mini.

She yawned.

God, is tomorrow only Wednesday?

Chapter 09

It was still dark. And silent. It felt like about four A.M. Elaine was lying on her stomach. She couldn’t see the alarm clock, but she didn’t want to know the time. One hand was between her legs, but it wasn’t moving. It was… reassuring. She wasn’t really aware of it.

Remembering the fleeting images she’d dreamed, she put them together in her mind. Gary had picked her up after college. He was waiting for her, leaning on some nondescript sports car. He’d embraced her and she’d melted. His hands had stolen down to her ass to squeeze the firm, supple flesh concealed under her mini. Just before they’d kissed, he’d realised her predicament. He made a big show out of being surprised she wasn’t wearing knickers.

Then he’d spanked her in broad daylight. Right in the college parking lot.

Elaine squirmed on her fingers, remembering how he’d arranged her, leaning on the hood of his car, pushing out her ass. Students walked by saying things that embarrassed her to the core. He’d spanked her for being such a naughty girl; for not wearing panties with such a short skirt. Laughing and shaking his head, Gary had tormented her for accepting such a stupid bet in the first place, while onlookers encouraged him to spank her more.

In her dreams, Elaine had adjusted her stance, presenting her ass provocatively, just as he’d told her to do. He hadn’t spanked her hard. But he’d loudly announced that he’d stop if she didn’t tell him how hot her cunt was. She admitted it without hesitation and a girl in the crowd called her a slut as Gary started spanking her again.

In her dreams.

She’d woken a number of times during the dreams, breaking the seemingly continuous events into shorter segments that made little sense at the time. In those vignettes, Gary’s eyes kept appearing.

Over and over.

Smiling.

Mocking.

Fleeting glimpses and long stares.

Making her cream her fucking cunt. That’s what he’d said to her as he’d smacked her ass.

‘I bet you are creaming your fucking cunt.’

She wished he hadn’t used those words. She knew Gary to be masterful and tasteful rather than foul-mouthed. She didn’t know how he would act with her… how he’d be with her. Elaine’s body flushed at the memory of his words. Only hehadn’t said them. It wasn’t Gary mocking her about her wet pussy.

She had conjured the words, and the admission made her press her fingers gently into her opening, immediately confirming its wetness.

It was ME who wanted to hear those nasty words. I dreamt them. I made him say them.

God… I’m so bad.

She groaned softly as her fingers slid in deeper, grazing her clit.

Catching herself in the act, she froze.

From between her legs she brought her hand up to her mouth. Without thinking she slid the wet fingers between her lips. She could hardly believe it. She was sucking her fingers of her own volition. They didn’t taste bad. Not sweet. Kind of savoury. She had the thought that they tasted like sex.

She wanted sex.

She wanted the intimacy… And the skin… She wanted the tastes and the smells… The feel of a body, desiring hers… Confirmed with words, limbs tangled and slick with perspiration… Breaths urgent… Nails… Muscle…

Her ears were hot.

Sucking gently, her mind wandered back to Gary’s words. The words she had dreamed. They were there, released within the padded cell of her unconscious mind.

‘I bet you are creaming your fucking cunt.’

Freud would have had a field day.

***************************

By the time her alarm sounded, Elaine had been slipping in and out of consciousness for what felt like hours. She was in no mood to move, let alone get out of bed. Her dreams were so real they resulted in actual and persistent excitement, not just a fleeting twinge of pleasure. For the first time in a long time she considered calling in sick. Her body was alive and on edge. She kept thinking about the parking lot.

She couldn’t help it.

Dragging herself to the bathroom, she hoped she’d feel better after a shower and fortunately she did. She even managed to tidy up her little Mohawk, finding to her relief that she could keep her thoughts in check if she had something else to think about. Like getting ready for work.

A cup of coffee and I’ll be fine.

Ten minutes later her roommates joined her in the kitchen. Chelsea yawned and stretched, almost revealing her sex as her nightie, which was almost see-through anyway, rode up. “Mmmmm. Who wants coffee?”

“Sure,” Kendra said, narrowing her eyes. “I hope you don’t have panties on under there.”

Elaine glanced down at her nicely creased black work pants. She shook her head and finished the last of her coffee. “I don’t have time for this. I’ve gotta go.”

“I think I see a panty line.”

“You do not, and you know it.”

“Show me then. And show me your bag. I don’t want you cheating and putting panties on after you’ve left.”

Elaine sighed. “Whatever.” Undoing the button, she unzipped the front halfway and worked the pants down her hips a little, then turned sideways and pulled one side a lot further down, revealing almost the whole right cheek of her ass. Elaine felt bold and her breath caught as she asked, “S… Satisfied?”

“Ah, sure,” said Kendra, quickly closing Elaine’s bag and handing it to back to her. “You better get going.”

While walking down the stairs outside the apartment, Elaine thought it was getting easier to expose herself to her roommates. At first it had been almost impossible. But each time it was getting easier. It was almost fun. A bit weird. But kind of fun all the same.

Then she had a horrific thought that stopped her in her tracks.

“Oh, my God!”

Shaking uncontrollably, she opened the backpack in her arms and there, shoved down beside a couple of her textbooks, was the crushed colourful plastic wrapping from her new sex toys. “No!” she whimpered in a strangled scream, shoving the bag closed and fumbling with the zipper. “Dammit. Fuck!”

Elaine’s legs felt like jelly, but she moved them slowly, one after the other and the feeling in them slowly returned. She walked quickly down the last of the stairs blushing like crazy. And the worst thing was, her pussy was soaked!

Maybe I’m imagining it. Maybe she didn’t see. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Walking gingerly across the quadrangle, Elaine headed for the bus stop. She watched a bus leave while she was stuck on the other side of the road. They came every ten minutes so she wasn’t concerned.

She had a thought. For a minute or two she’d be alone. Spying a dumpster, she ran over and quickly emptied her bag of the incriminating evidence.

Her day was not going well.

And of course every bump and vibration of the bus seemed multiplied by ten. By the time she’d reached her stop, Elaine felt like a quivering mass of warm wet goo. She was glad her skirt was black. On unsteady legs, she trudged into the glass building and rode up the elevator. First stop: the restroom.

Thankfully work was uneventful and she managed to calm down. Everyone including Elaine was very busy, and she managed to go most of the morning without thinking about what Kendra may or may not have seen. By the time she was on the bus home again, she felt almost normal.

With palpable relief, Elaine entered a silent apartment. She quickly changed into the clothes she’d laid out on her bed, donning her trusty black skirt, saving a t-shirt and going with the black and white halter. Before either of her roommates could arrive home, she’d headed off to class.

She dreaded seeing her roommates. As the day wore on, Elaine thought more and more about Kendra going through her bag. It was like the Gestapo or something. Elaine wouldn’t have done it. Not even as a joke. It was just… rude.

This bet WAS just for fun… right?

It was during one of her classes that Elaine started getting angry. Checking was fine, she decided, but going through her bag was not. This whole ‘not wearing underwear’ thing was just a harmless prank, and if no one cheated, then no one was getting a Brazilian, and no one was streaking the damned staircase. Going through her bag was an invasion of privacy that was out of proportion to the bet. She had to say something. And besides, if Kendra was already bald, then what kind of a threat was a Brazilian? That wasn’t fair.

Elaine hung out in the library, postponing going home for as long as she could.

*************************

Late in the day she hauled her body up the stairs to her apartment and quietly opened the front door. The music system was on, which didn’t bode well, but after dumping her bag and heading for the kitchen she found the apartment was empty. The note on the table said the girls had gone to the gym and would be home by six.

After setting the table and microwaving the spaghetti sauce until it was no longer frozen, Elaine took fresh pasta out, ready to boil. The girls came home within minutes but they were strangely quiet and retired straight to their rooms. A moment later Chelsea came out again, turned off the music system and flopped on the sofa, switching on the T.V.

Elaine stood in the kitchen doorway. “How was the gym?”

“It was okay,” said Chelsea, channel surfing.

Elaine knew when Chelsea wasn’t in the mood to talk. “Spaghetti can be ready in fifteen minutes if you’re hungry.”

“Yeah, starving.”

Clad only in a towel, Kendra appeared in the lounge room entranceway. “Do I have time for a shower?”

“Sure,” said Elaine. “Is fifteen minutes okay?”

“Perfect. Thanks. God, I’m so hungry I could eat our defensive line,” Kendra said, winking at Elaine. Chelsea giggled but kept watching the television. MTV was on. Kendra headed to the bathroom with an over-the-top toss of her hair that Elaine thought was pretty funny.

She’s acting weird, Elaine thought, an uncertain smile on her face. She shook her head and turned back to the kitchen. Maybe I’m being overly sensitive… Maybe going through my bag wasn’t such a big deal. Ugh. She should have just trusted me.

Elaine’s face was a fragile mask of determination as she broke the spaghetti in two and added it to the now boiling water.

It’d be great if Kendra lost this bet. That would be such karma. Hmmm. But what about the Brazilian? I must remember that too. And I better check her more often.

Hey, wait a minute…

Why would Kendra think to check my bag in the first place? Maybe because SHE’S cheating by taking undies in HER bag. Damn! What if she is? Hmmm… If she is, then I can’t say anything about HER going through MY bag or she’ll apologise piously and we’ll all agree to make it a rule not to check bags. Damn! Damn! Damn! She’s too fucking clever. Maybe she planned it that way, never in the least expecting ME to be cheating. Finding the stupid packaging in my bag would have been a shock. But if she makes a big deal out of it, it’d blow her plan. I bet she’s COUNTING on me saying something about her going through my bag!

What if I don’t say anything?

Let’s see…

If I don’t say anything, I could double whammy her. She would have to hold out on hassling me about my new toys, and I might get a chance to nail her with knickers in that over-shoulder bag she always takes to class. I BET that’s what she’s doing…

As she stirred the spaghetti and reheated the sauce, Elaine saw a glimmer of victory and it made her smile. At the very least she could just keep her mouth shut and see if Kendra said anything. Kendra would probably wait until tomorrow night before she got desperate. Hmmmm, thought Elaine. Or, she might even try it again in the morning, thinking it’s a good distraction.

No. She’s not that stupid. It might have been an ‘all or nothing’ move. Elaine grinned with renewed optimism. We’ll see…

Just as she’d suspected, dinner was fine. No snide comments, no knowing looks. Just as though Kendra hadn’t seen a thing. Which was probably what she hoped Elaine thought. Probably.

Argh! Maybe I’m just imagining it!

Kendra even offered to wash up again, but for some reason Chelsea insisted.

“Okay,” Kendra said. “Well, I’m going to watch T.V. with a good book.” She rolled her eyes. Elaine figured she meant a boring textbook. “Oh, and I’ll get pizza tomorrow night. My treat.”

“Cool,” said Chelsea. “I want one from that new place, what’s it called? Slammin’ salami?”

Elaine smiled all the way down the hall to her room. She even smiled all the way back to the bathroom and all through her shower. And when she turned on her computer and relaxed in front of it, she was still smiling. She was so glad there was no drama.

Her day had been so stressful. She felt like she could have gone to bed and slept all night. But she wanted to talk to Gary. Elaine needed something to… something for…

She couldn’t put her finger on the words she was trying to express. It was like she needed a holiday from her stressful reality.

Elaine was instantly excited by the discovery of an email from him. Just seeing his name on the email sent ripples of pleasure across her skin. She clicked it open and read his words, her smile returning.

Greetings Elaine,

I hope you enjoyed our last conversation as much as I did.

I did a little research and came up with a few websites with good information and you’ll find them listed below. You should start at the first one listed, and work your way down. You may take a quick look at each, but please begin your journey at Castlerealm in the section titled ‘subSpace’. I don’t think you’ll want to stop reading once you start. Just work your way down the index. Oh, and when you get to the ‘checklist’, make sure you do it and keep a copy for yourself. You may want to update it as the ‘submissive’ in you develops further. If you have any questions about it, feel free to ask.

I hope to see you this evening, but I may be up to an hour late.

Gary

Knowing he’d be late, Elaine felt a little deflated. She really wanted to see him again. Remembering she had his picture, she popped it up on her screen and swooned. Instinctively her thighs pressed together and the pleasure prickling her skin rushed to her pussy.

His eyes…

Her nipples throbbed to erection, almost painful in their hardness. Biting her lip, she reluctantly minimised his picture and took a deep breath, separating her thighs. Entering Castlerealm, she started reading…

**************************

“Hello.”

The greeting popped up on her screen just as she’d begun filling out her personal copy of the BDSM Checklist. Blinking, Elaine glanced at the time before typing. It was nine forty-eight P.M. “Hello, Sir,” she messaged, sitting up a little straighter.

“Pleased that you’ve been reading or disappointed that you’ve not been working on school stuff.”

“I’m ahead of my school stuff, Sir.”

“I’m pleased then.”

Elaine glowed. “I’m glad.”

“What have you been reading?”

“Just as you suggested: Castlerealm. I’m up to filling in my checklist.”

“Great.”

“Um,” Elaine hesitated. “Will I be sharing this with you?”

“Only if you want to.”

“It’s a bit personal.”

“Chuckles.”

Elaine grinned and typed, “Well, it is! Aren’t you guys supposed to instinctively just know exactly what a girl wants without her having to say? It’s so embarrassing.” Elaine wasn’t sure if she was being playful or just honest. She bit her lip.

“You are adorable.”

Elaine blushed crimson, her fingers tingling and beginning to tremble. She wanted to ask, ‘Why?‘ Instead she typed, “But it’s true! Aren’t guys just supposed to know what we want? You know, like everyone out there has a perfect match somewhere and you’ve just got to find it? Because when you do, you’ll know? Surely you don’t have to tell someone exactly what you want them to do to you.”

“Elaine…”

“Um. Yes?”

“If you were with me right now, kneeling before me on a soft cushion, looking up at me with those big brown eyes of yours… Wouldn’t you want me to tell you exactly how to please me at that very moment?”

Elaine swallowed. “Well… Yes. But guys are different. They’re a mystery.” She sent a tongue poking out.

She had to wait a moment for Gary’s response. “That’s the second or third time you’ve sent the ‘poking tongue out’ icon to me. Please know that there are times when you would be well advised not to send it. Now is not one of those times, but I am telling you so you are forewarned. Just think about it before you send it, okay?”

“Yes, Sir.” It was obvious he wanted her to listen, so Elaine held her tongue.

He didn’t disappoint her. “Men and women are not so different. We both have expectations and we both consist of explored and unexplored territories. We both have comfort levels and we both have limits to which we would go to please our partners and to please ourselves. Men and women are both looking for the person that suits them best, and they are both easily caught in a web of secrets, lies and deception. Taking some of the mystery away on the one hand may seem to sterilise the process, but on the other it lays things on the table so you discuss them and save any potential heartache and pain. All one needs to be is honest.”

A long stretch of silence passed. Elaine consumed his words carefully, as a food critic would digest an entrée. There were only two words she could think to say. “Yes, Sir.”

“Look at my picture. Come back when you have looked at it for ten seconds.”

Elaine thought she had been away for about 10.6 seconds. After gazing into his eyes, and putting up with about 5.1 seconds of painful throbbing in her nipples, she was back. “I’m back, Sir.”

“Smiles. Well, what do you think was going through my mind when that picture was taken?”

“Hmmmm…” Elaine typed, sending it as she pondered. “You were in love with the person taking the picture.”

There was a hesitation before he typed, and Elaine smiled. “That’s right. I probably shouldn’t ask this, but what do you suppose I was actually thinking at that moment?”

“Can I take another look?” Elaine asked.

“Sure,” he replied. “Five seconds.” His smile arrived a moment later.

“You were thinking you couldn’t wait to fuck her.”

Five seconds passed. Then ten. Then twenty. Finally Messenger said Gary was typing and he was taking ages. Elaine was trying to think of how to do a back flip with a one-and-a-half twist. Then stupid Messenger said he’d stopped typing. Then started again. Elaine’s heart was beating hard.

What did I say? Oh, my God! Please! I’ll do anything! Just don’t end this now!

“I want to meet you one day.”

Elaine’s heart stopped, her hands freezing over the keyboard.

That was out of character wasn’t it?

FUCK! What does he mean?

Hello? Talk to him, stupid! And be honest! It would be amazing. Well, it would be! Don’t be afraid!

“That would be amazing,” she typed reluctantly, refusing the temptation to lie. She held her breath. No other words came to her. He’d made her quiet and reflective, unsure of what she meant… or of whom she was. He did this to her regularly. Strangely she knew it would get better. She just knew.

‘Thinking before speaking’ was a new part of her that she was trying to get used to, but that she liked. He seemed to encourage her self-control, but at the same time he encouraged her to let go. It was weird. Enlightening. Uplifting even.

She felt as though she could do no wrong in his eyes. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew the thought wasn’t quite right. But she held onto it. It felt good to hold onto it.

“It could be in twenty years, when we are old and grey… well, I will be.”

“You will not. You’re only thirty-four.”

“You’ve read my profile.”

Elaine gulped, blushing and realising the conversation was hurtling in a direction she wasn’t expecting. “Yes.”

“Then you know where I live.”

“Yes.” She was determined not to lie.

“You live nearby, don’t you?”

Elaine hesitated then typed and pressed ‘send’. “Yes.”

Almost simultaneously, he had rushed a disclaiming message, “Don’t answer that!”

Elaine wished she hadn’t answered. But there it was in their log, just a few lines up. She wondered if Gary was staring at her admission too. First it was the time zone, and now she’d admitted she was ‘nearby’. She hoped it was sufficiently vague.

Why? she wondered.

“I’m sorry. I should have said you didn’t have to answer.”

“I’m committed to answering your questions honestly.”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking… And exactly why I tried to stop you. Or at least give you an option not to answer.”

“I know,” typed Gary. Elaine felt his desire. She felt it penetrating her skin. “Don’t respond to my frustration, Elaine. I want you to be honest with yourself first. If that means leaving and not talking to me again, I’ll get over it. But while you stay, you should know there are two distinct parts of me. The physical, act before you think, ‘me’. And then there’s the mental ‘me’; the part that thinks first, and remembers my responsibilities before I am tempted to act. It’s a balancing act sometimes.”

“The second part is an important part. I couldn’t be with someone whose second part wasn’t strong,” Elaine typed, further surprising herself with her candour. “Especially when the same is expected of me.”

“Point taken,” Gary typed. A second or two passed. “I was referring to lust, though.”

Elaine’s body shuddered as if a chill wind had blown through her room. She glanced at the door, to see if it had opened. It hadn’t. She knew what he meant. She knew his words were his own step over the line. He had admitted to Elaine something no one before had admitted. Ever.

He wanted her.

A thrill ran the length of Elaine’s body, from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes.

“I understand.” If she’d been in front of him, she’d have gasped.

“Do you?”

“Yes. I have needs too. I’m just not sure what they are yet.”

“Yes,” Gary typed. “Yes… You are right.”

“I…” Elaine typed, unsure of her words. “I’m just figuring it out.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry, but shit, Elaine…”

“What?”

“I so want to ask you, ‘How close by?‘ But I won’t. I just want you to know I am wrestling with myself.”

“Thank you for not asking.”

Silent seconds passed. “I’m going to be looking for you, everywhere I go.”

“Don’t, Sir…”

“I’m not on the rebound, Elaine. I’ve been waiting for you a long time.”

“How do you know it’s me you’ve been waiting for?”

“Let me tell you a story.”

“Okay…”

“I first started going to the chat room where I met you many years ago. It was a nice way to kill an hour or two. I could visit whenever the writing bug hadn’t bitten me, but while it was in some ways frustrating, I always thought it was worth it.”

“Frustrating?”

“Yes. Seeing new people come and go and hook up in like five minutes flat… It’s just so unrealistic, and plainly false. It was frustrating to see so many people with a healthy interest in the lifestyle fall through the cracks and be swallowed up by people who knew nothing. I’m talking about the users and the control freaks… people like that. The genuine newbies get hurt and end up turning away from the lifestyle, thinking it’s worse than the life they have. It’s just sad.”

“Does that happen a lot?”

“I’d say nine out of ten newbie subs get hurt simply by hooking up with the wrong person.”

“I feel very lucky. Why did you keep going back?”

“Because even the most troll-infested chat rooms need a few voices of experience. That’s the reason I kept going back. To add my voice to the chorus of people who are ‘real’ in there.”

“That’s very noble. I know that sounds sarcastic, but I really do mean it.”

“And that’s all I’ve ever thought. I’ve always considered the Internet to be fraught with problems: not knowing who is really at the other end, dishonest people, etc. Dominants come across lots of half-hearted subs too. Submissives whose hearts aren’t in it, thrill-seekers, players, etc. Online, Doms have to be careful and take their time just as subs do. I’ve heard of a few couples successfully meeting online and moving into real life and living happily ever after. So it does happen. But I’ve also seen countless failures. Countless. So I chose not to seek anyone. You can ask Simone, for the last year, I’ve been dead against it. I never expected to meet anyone online.”

Elaine didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to feel. He was talking like ‘they’ were a fait accompli. It scared the wits out of her. She was dumbstruck.

Mercifully, Gary continued. “I go to parties and munches, Elaine. Occasionally to annual events, things like that. I’m involved in a small group of seven people, myself included. We get together now and then to talk and share experiences and knowledge. Once in a while we have a newbies night if there are enough people interested. The last one was a couple of months ago. Half of those who promised to come didn’t turn up. Of the three that did, none of them came to the following munch. One of the guys seems good. He might come back… Anyway, the point is, I’ve accepted I’m unlikely to meet someone given my current circumstances, and I haven’t been too concerned about it either.”

“But one day you will be?” Elaine was shaking.

“I thought I might put an ad in one of the lifestyle magazines. I figured my picture might get a few bites.”

“Yeah,” Elaine typed, smiling. “A few.”

“The girl would have to enjoy living in the boondocks.”

“Where?”

“I just mean in the middle of nowhere.”

“Oh. Sorry. City girl.”

“I get it.”

“No, I mean…” Elaine blushed. What DO I mean? “I mean I come from the city. I didn’t mean I don’t have a highly romanticised idea about living in the open spaces.” She sent a wink.

He sent a smile. “Enough intimate talk for the evening.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Time for bed.”

Elaine sighed. “Yes, Sir.” She looked at the clock and shook her head, wishing time hadn’t passed so fast. “Thank you.”

“Tell me ‘what for’, Elaine.”

“For spending your time with me. Half the time I can’t believe I’m here. The other half I can hardly think straight.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. I’m okay. Just frustrated, Sir,” admitted Elaine. “It’s been a long day.”

“But you’ve not played.”

“Oh, no,” Elaine messaged back quickly. “I won’t until after I’ve seen you on Friday night. I remember.”

“Good girl.” Gary had accidentally called her that before.

Elaine read his words again and smiled, remembering. This time she really liked it. It was hers. Her praise. He was pleased with her. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Oh shit, I did it again, didn’t I?”

“Yes, Sir,” Elaine typed, smiling from ear to ear. She sent a big grin to let him know.

“I guess you don’t mind then.” He sent back a smile.

“No. Not if I’ve earned it.” Elaine found the icon of the little person blushing and sent it.

“Smiles.”

“Smiles too.”

“Good night, Elaine.”

“Good night, Sir.”

“Sweet dreams.”

God, I wish! “Thank you. Sleep well, Sir.”

And she signed off.

Chapter 10

12.06 A.M.. Elaine’s teeth were brushed, skin moisturised, ready for sleep. Kneeling tall on her bed in the dark, she’d opened the sliding window widely. With her elbows resting on the windowsill, she smelled the fresh air. A warm breeze caressed her face, billowing the gauzy curtains.

Street lamps and house lights dotted the hills that rolled into the distance and Elaine stared. Her room was on the opposite side to the quadrangle and looked away from the city. Until then Elaine had wished she had a view of the bright colourful lights and the promise of excitement. But it wasn’t the city she was thinking about.

She smiled and closed her eyes.

Into her mind came Gary. He smirked at her as though he were waiting for her to speak. His arms were crossed and he was tapping his foot. It was a parody, but she sensed he was serious under the humour. He wanted her to hurry up and get to know herself. He knew they were right for each other.

What is it he sees in me?

It warmed her to know she was desired. She sighed softly, opening her eyes and gazing into the distance.

Maybe he’s right, she thought. But I’m not rushing this. I mustn’t rush it. It’s too dangerous. I want to trust him so badly. But minimising the risks is important. I read that again and again. I’m going to have to ask him for references before I get in too deep. And I’m going to have to check them too. If I ever do meet him, I want to look into his eyes with confidence.

Elaine smiled to herself, her gaze focussing on a single, twinkling light, set alone in the hills.

God, his eyes…

C’mon, think!

I’d have to meet him and get to know him, to see what he was like and to connect with him. And we’d have to be attracted to each other.

Interested friends. Then again I could just meet him and fuck him.

Elaine laughed at her audacity. Amusing herself, she ran with the thought.

He’d be perfect. He’s from out of town and he’s hot. It’s obvious he wants me, and God knows I could do with a good hard fucking. And with my virginity taken care of, there’d be no pain! We could get a motel room…

Elaine bit her lip.

I couldn’t do that.

Could I?

No.

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t bring myself to commit such dishonesty to MYSELF, let alone him. He’ll always see me as I am. No matter what mask I wear. He’ll know me. He already knows me.

We’ve only known each other a few days, and already he knows more about me than anyone else on the face of this earth. I couldn’t look into those eyes and lie. God, those eyes… I want to take another picture of him. But I want him to be thinking of ME as I click the shutter. I want him to be thinking of fucking me… I want him to… I want… I want him…

“Oooohh!” Elaine gasped. The middle finger of her right hand had dragged too firmly across her clit and the poor little bud, unable to contain itself a moment longer, had jumped for joy, causing her pussy to contract tightly. For a moment, in Elaine’s ears it sounded like she was standing in a wind tunnel. She’d been caught by surprise, her eyelids springing open and her hand bouncing off her flesh, frozen in mid-air.

How long have I been doing that?

Suddenly it was so quiet she heard her pussy drip on the bed beneath her as she kneeled by the window. Shaking her head, she slid it closed and climbed between the sheets on her bed. Lying on her back and listening to her breathing slow down, she calmed her beating heart.

As Elaine caught her breath, she remembered the faint flickering light that had originally mesmerised her.

He’s out there somewhere…

***************************

Thursday morning.

My first official day of ‘seeing what it’s like to be an exhibitionist, thought Elaine ruefully, rolling out of bed and standing in front of her mirror, completely naked.

She’d always thought sleeping naked would be a thrill, but stripping off her nightie had actually been a relief compared with wearing the scratchy thing. She simply hadn’t been able to get to sleep with it on. Breathing had proved to be enough to make the material move slightly over her sensitive nipples. It had been maddening.

Her body was buzzing with need. She fixed her gaze on her nipples and they started to throb softly, without even touching them.

Fuck… Stop!

She dared not see what they felt like, though she longed to pinch and pull them. Grabbing her towel, she gritted her teeth and headed for the shower. A coldshower.

Fifteen minutes later, Elaine groaned as she modelled the light blue tank top with the little black skirt she was going to be wearing later. Her nipples had tightened into hard little balls and she was pretty sure they’d stay like that all day.

Having them on display will keep them what way too, she thought, as she changed into her work clothes. At least she wouldn’t be showing off at work. She just hoped no one would question her wearing a pink t-shirt under her white work blouse.

She was counting on it being busy, and she caught a break.

*******************

By the time she’d arrived back at the apartment, Elaine felt energised. Flushed with nervous excitement, her body was betraying her. Her pussy wasn’t flooded. Just moist, warm and on her mind. After changing into her clothes for school, Elaine glanced in the mirror again.

This top is SO not supposed to be worn without a bra. Maybe I should stick with the t-shirt and wear this stupid tank top tomorrow.

“Ugh,” she protested aloud.

I am NOT wearing this in a combo with the flimsy mini. People will think I’m a slut.

Resigned to wearing what she’d chosen, she wished her nipples weren’t as prominent. They were really obvious and she was going to have to try to move slowly and not bounce as she walked. She had a wrecking ball of fear in her stomach side-by-side with a strange thrill. Like she needed to pee, but she didn’t.

Elaine grabbed her backpack preparing to leave, and heard the front door open and close. Investigating, she headed to the kitchen finding Kendra with her head stuck in the refrigerator.

Great, thought Elaine. She’ll get a real kick out of this.

“Hey.”

“Fuck!” Kendra said, jumping backward and grabbing her heart. “You scared the shit out of me!”

“Sorry.”

Kendra looked up and down Elaine’s body, as she’d come to do these last few days. Her gaze settled on Elaine’s chest and she chuckled. “You’re going to create quite a stir, aren’t you? I never realised they were so…”

“Obscene? I shouldn’t even be going out in this,” Elaine said, pouting and hoping for at least a little sympathy from her roommate. “It’s not fair.”

“Oh, stop complaining. They look good enough to… show off to the whole world,” Kendra said, blinking and meeting Elaine’s stare. “I ah, I mean-”

“You’re no help.”

“Just grin and bear it.” Kendra said quietly, sounding much more sympathetic. “It’ll be a good learning experience. Something outside the square.”

“Thanks a lot, Kendra.”

“Now, now. Be nice.”

Elaine knew what was coming. Kendra was about to check she had no undies on.

Dammit! I forgot to ask her to empty her bag this morning! Shit! Shit! Shit!

Intending to get in before her roommate, Elaine gasped, “Show me what you’ve got under your skirt!” Their eyes met and Elaine sensed Kendra was on the back foot. “Now!”

“All right, all right. Jeez Elaine, if you need to see my cunt so bad, you can ask anytime, you know.” Kendra winked, gripping the hem of her short skirt, slowly lifting it up her thighs.

“I don’t need to see it.”

Kendra froze, her hem just below her pussy. “So you want to see it then.”

“Oh, forget it,” Elaine said, turning in her scuffs and heading for the front door. “I have class,” she muttered.

“Not so fast,” Kendra said firmly. Elaine froze in the kitchen doorway. “I haven’t checked you yet. You might have been putting up a smokescreen.”

Elaine’s breath caught in her throat. Kendra wanted to see her pussy. She swallowed, trying to find clever words. There was nothing there. “Only if you do.”

“Fine. On the count of three,” Kendra said, holding the hem of her skirt like a gunfighter about to draw. “One… Two… Three!”

Both girls lifted their skirts simultaneously, and when Kendra started rotating her hips a little, Elaine dropped her hem, smoothing down her skirt and grabbing her bag. She couldn’t think of anything to say and she couldn’t even look in Kendra’s eyes. She actually thought Kendra’s pussy had been wet, but there was no way she was going to mention it.

I MUST remember to look in Kendra’s bag in the morning, Elaine thought as she exited the apartment.

She hadn’t walked halfway across the quadrangle before a stranger stopped her and talked to her. At the time Elaine wondered whether the girl had mistaken her for someone else. Then it dawned on her. She was being hit on.

Despite the awkward feeling engulfing her, it made her smile and she wasn’t sure why. She crossed her arms defensively, excusing herself and hurrying to her first class, blushing like crazy. She even felt the girl’s eyes on her ass as she walked away.

She hadn’t even reached the venue before she surrendered.

Despite the huge blinking signs on her chest saying, ‘Check out my tits!’, Elaine found a place in her mind where she could handle it. Throwing back her shoulders and lifting her chin, she met the challenge head on, somewhat surprised at how easily the afternoon progressed.

It was a bit of a blur, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as she’d imagined. Sure, her nipples had ached for most of the day, but that was hardly surprising. And she’d done her best to ignore her wet pussy. The notes she’d taken hardly made sense. One of the cute guys in her Morality class even asked her out. That had been two and a half hours earlier. Since then she’d put up with guys whistling, commenting and gluing their eyes to her chest wherever she went. One really gorgeous guy had slowly licked his lips while staring into her eyes across a lecture theatre. She’d blushed and grit her teeth, returning her attention to the lecturer.

So this is how a sex object feels…

By the time the bell sounded to end her final class, Elaine was almost used to it.

Bounding up the last flight of stairs to her apartment, she laughed softly in relief. She’d done it! Turning the key, she tried to push open the door but the chain was across it, blocking its progress. At least it allowed Elaine enough room to yell her annoyance at her roommates. “Open the fucking door!”

Kendra was there in moments and Chelsea joined her, looking over her shoulder and rolling her eyes. Kendra smirked and said, “You can’t come in till you lift your skirt.”

“You’re crazy,” said Elaine, putting down her backpack and turning her head, seeing if anyone was watching from across the quadrangle. Eight apartments faced toward theirs, but she couldn’t see anyone.

“Well?” Kendra asked.

Fuck! Elaine thought, glancing down the concrete corridor. Their apartment was at one end and the one at the other end was usually occupied by a couple of grad students. They usually kept to themselves and the lights weren’t on. They probably weren’t home. The chances of being seen were pretty low.

Before she had a chance to comply, Kendra spoke again. “Take off your top and your skirt and hand them to me, then I’ll undo the door.”

“WHAT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!”

“We decided that if you hadn’t flashed your puss in two minutes, you’d have to get naked. Sorry.”

Elaine banged her fist on the door. Then she banged on it again. “Come on you guys! This isn’t funny…” Surely they weren’t going to make her do this. “Please… C’mon…”

The door cracked open. The chain was still across it. “Skirt and top,” Kendra demanded, a smug smile on her face. Chelsea was eating pizza.

Elaine steamed, biting her tongue. Somewhere in the back of her mind she thought it was an appropriately humiliating way to end the day. her heart rate rose and her breathing caught in her chest. Closing her eyes for just a moment, she decided to do it. It was the path of least resistance. She couldn’t stand on the doorstep all night.

“Promise me you’ll let me in. Straight away.”

“I promise,” Kendra said, winking.

Glancing around again, Elaine sighed. The coast was clear. Taking a deep breath, she said, “I can’t believe I’m going to do this.”

“Nor can I!” squealed Chelsea with a mouthful of pizza.

In a flash Elaine dragged her tank top over her head and stepped out of her little black skirt. Instinctively her left hand covered her pussy as she held out her clothes in her other hand, a pleading look on her face. “Come on! Hurry up!”

Kendra grinned, snatching the two items of clothing from Elaine’s hand and closing the door on her.

And nothing happened.

Elaine held her breath as the moment stretched to breaking point. Then she started to panic. Picking up her backpack to give herself some cover, she banged her fist on the door urgently. She couldn’t scream. Everyone would come and see what the fuss was about.

Dammit! Open the fucking door!!!!!!

“You guys… Please, c’mon… Pleaseeeee…” She banged a bit harder and to her surprise, the door suddenly opened. She gasped, rushing over the threshold to safety. “I can’t believe you made me do that!” Elaine cried vehemently as Kendra closed the door behind her. “Give me my fucking clothes!”

Kendra tossed them to her saying, “Relax. Come and have some pizza. And put some bloody clothes on.” Chelsea thought that was hilarious.

Pushing open her bedroom door, Elaine growled and tossed her clothes and backpack onto her bed. Firmly slamming the door, she leaned her back on it and shivered hard, her breath suddenly laboured with a desperate need for oxygen. Had she been holding it all that time?

God. What a rush!

She felt a tickle on her inner thigh and the skin twitched. Am I leaking? she asked herself, horrified. Elaine really didn’t want to know, but she couldn’t help touching herself to see. She confirmed she was dripping and walked over to the computer, picking up the towel draped over the chair. After patting herself dry, she gave up, deciding the added stimulation wasn’t helping. Glancing at herself in the mirror, she couldn’t believe she was still naked. Since she’d entered her room, it hadn’t even occurred to her to put her clothes back on.

Okay, so I’ve only been in here thirty seconds.

She giggled, covering her mouth. She had to get her head together.

They’ll just call me a baby if I complain. I won’t say a word and if they ask, I’ll say it was nothing. This thing will be over by tomorrow night. I can make it!

Besides, I’m starving!

“That was awesome!” said a grinning Chelsea, as Elaine joined the girls in the living room, picking up a piece of pizza.

Kendra agreed. “I didn’t think you’d do it. You cost me ten bucks!”

“You bet on it?” asked Elaine.

“Yep,” said Chelsea.

“Five more seconds and I would have won. Just five more seconds,” chuckled Kendra, reaching for another slice.

“What do you mean?”

“Five more seconds and I would have let you in. I wasn’t going to make you flash outside the door. I’m not that mean.”

Elaine was speechless and could only bring herself to roll her eyes. She wasn’t taking the bait, instead grabbing another piece of pie and munching on it. When she was done, she informed them, “I’ve got some stuff to do.”

“Okay,” said Chelsea, eyes glued to the T.V.

“See ya,” Kendra said. “Oh, hey?”

“What?” asked Elaine, stranded by the door to the living room.

“You were pretty brave. You’re all right, Elaine.”

Elaine didn’t know what to make of Kendra. She never knew when she was telling the truth and when she was lying through her teeth. All she could think to say was, “Thanks.”

After luxuriating in a nice hot shower that calmed her frayed nerves, Elaine was back in her room, sitting down in front of her computer and switching it on. She opened her copy of the BDSM checklist and set to work. She wanted to complete it and it was long.

Remembering Gary’s suggestion to answer the questions she could and to make a list of those she wanted to have clarified, she realised before long that her ‘clarification list’ was getting quite lengthy. Opening a window to the net, she soon found herself getting bogged down in Google searches. Admitting there was a hell of a lot she didn’t know, Elaine promised herself to read a little every day.

Her ass was numb by the time she’d arrived at the last of the two hundred and fifty ‘items’ she’d been rating. Before she rose to walk around, she scanned through her answers once more, changing a couple and shaking her head at the answers she’d given to others.

It surprised her that she was willing to try a lot. Biting her lip, she admitted there were a lot of things she didn’t want to do either. And trying to imagine some of the things mentioned either made her head hurt, made her nauseous, or made her horny. She was pleased when she was done.

After grabbing a fresh cup of coffee, Elaine opened Castlerealm intent on honouring the promise she’d made to do some reading.

She was looking for something specific, and found a handy link to the Library. Clicking on it, then scanning the options presented to her, she found a couple of articles that she hoped would answer some of her questions.

Maybe she was getting ahead of herself, but Elaine wondered how she would go about setting up a meeting. Were there any pitfalls or precautions she should take? What sorts of things should she know before setting up a meeting? Where should it take place?

She smiled as she settled in her chair to read the engrossing commentaries. She even took notes. By the time she’d finished reading the third article on the subject, she felt empowered. She knew what kinds of questions she needed Gary to answer, and what sorts of dangerous practices or situations she had to avoid.

She read over and over of the need to approach a meeting as equals, not to be bullied and to be wary of evasive behaviours or answers. In fact, Elaine was pleased to read that the kinds of behaviours she should expect were those Gary had already been exhibiting.

Honesty. An open book. Fallible. In control of himself. Eager to learn. Caring. Humorous. Unhurried.

Elaine smiled, thinking she wasn’t too sure about the last one. He had already admitted he liked her. He’d already mentioned that he wanted to meet her. Her brow furrowed.

How does one factor in ‘honesty’ with being ‘unhurried’? What if he’s just being honest when he tells me how keen he is? It’s nice to be wanted… But I don’t want to be blinded by his desire. He needs time to find out if I’m right for him too, doesn’t he? He couldn’t ‘just know’. Could he?

Am I thinking too much?

Sitting back in her chair, Elaine massaged her temples. One question kept popping into her head.

What is it that I actually want?

She wished she knew. She wished she already had some experience to measure against her rapidly expanding fantasies. Being a technical virgin really didn’t help. It left wide open a whole range of possibilities she had no idea whether she wanted or not. A good example was that she thought she might be ‘bi-curious’. But she wasn’t sure. No one had ever licked her pussy. So if she didn’t even know what it felt like, how could she tell whether she’d like to do it to someone else? The ‘idea’ was tantalising. But the ‘reality’ might be very different. Beyond her admittedly colourful imagination, and of course all the stories she’d read, she had no idea.

Her lack of experience had to be a bad thing. It made her feel inadequate or at the very least potentially inadequate. What if she wasn’t ‘good at sex? What if she couldn’t give a good blowjob? And what if she made a fool of herself or did or said something stupid?

Sometimes she felt so young.

She read that it was important to keep her expectations realistic, and to have a ‘knowledge base’ to draw on. She was beginning to understand the seriousness of the journey she was considering. It wasn’t a game. If this was going to go anywhere, she was going to need to know a whole lot more about Gary.

She’d read one girl’s advice article and it had asked the questions, ‘What if he has a horrible snort when he laughs, or if he doesn’t wash often enough for your taste and he smells rank? What if he has dirty fingernails all the time, or his breath smells? Or he doesn’t change his underwear often enough?’

Elaine had giggled.

How terrible would that be? God, what a disappointment!

As another article had suggested, she promised herself that if they ever did meet, it would be in a public place, and with ‘no promises’. Just a meeting. A lunch date. Or a coffee. Something like that.

“Good evening.” Gary’s message popped up on her screen.

Elaine hadn’t even noticed the time. “Hello!” she typed quickly. It was eight forty-one. “You’re early!”

“Would you prefer it if I left and came back in twenty minutes?”

“Um, no.”

“I can if you need the time.”

“Please stay.”

“Okay.” He sent a smile. “Had a good day?”

Ugh, thought Elaine. Gary’s knack of asking open-ended questions really put the ball in her court. She wondered if she should tell him what was going on with her roommates. Maybe another day. “It was okay. How was yours?”

“It was amazing,” he sent back. “New foal today. First one from the new pair. Sturdy little thing too.”

“You’ve never really told me what you do.” Elaine rested her chin on her fist.

“I’ve started a ‘horse farm’ type venture. I’ve imported a couple of horses and they’ve obviously settled in well.”

Into Elaine’s mind intruded Gary’s smiling face. When she had a second, she’d bring up his picture. “A horse farm?”

“Yeah. If someone needs a horse, Gary Duke is the guy to see.”

“Um.”

“Oh. Oops. I just gave you my last name, didn’t I?”

“Giggles. Yep.”

“What are you gigglin’ at?”

“I dunno, Duke. Just a picture of your head on John Wayne’s body. You know, ‘Talk about a sense a humahh’.”

There was a short silence before Gary typed, “You constantly surprise me.”

Elaine swallowed. Fuck. What did I do? “Um. What do you mean?”

“You are going to be a handful if I ever get my hands on you, aren’t you?”

Elaine stared wide-eyed, waiting to see how he responded when she sent, “You better believe it.”

“Good. I think it would be so boring if we were perfect for each other.” He shot off a wink before Elaine had finished reading his words.

She grinned. He’s too fucking cute. I’m going to fall in love with this guy. I just know it. She typed, “I somehow doubt it would be boring.”

“Elaine?”

“Um. Yes?”

“How about you ask me some questions?”

Shaking her head and wondering how he seemed to read her mind, Elaine typed, “Thank you. I’d appreciate it.”

“This ‘matter of fact’ tone is very amusing. I’ll try to keep a straight face.”

I have a tone? Jeez. Hmmm… Stay the course. He’s playing with me.

“Thank you, Sir,” typed Elaine with unnecessary formality. She wished she could get his grin out of her head. “Um, you gave me the short answer before, but can you tell me how you came into the lifestyle? With more details?” Ahhhh! she thought. I feel like a plagiarist!

“You’ve been reading.”

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! He’s always two steps ahead of me! “Yes, Sir.”

“Good girl.”

A smile broke across Elaine’s face. She felt it. He was pleased. Shit! Concentrate!“Thank you. I have quite a few questions, actually.”

“Good. I was introduced to the life in 1994 by a kinky girlfriend who saw something in me that up to that point I hadn’t recognised.”

“What was that?”

“A need for structure. I was all over the place. I’d tossed in my twenty-third job or something. I don’t know why I was never too worried about that. I was likeable, I guess, and I always fell on my feet. My parents had moved to Cali to live by the sea. The girl, Anita, was pretty strange. She talked me into doing things with her that I’d never done before. She wanted me to tie her up and tease her and she encouraged me to do anything I wanted. The first time we were together she told me she’d ‘make me into a man’.”

Elaine smiled softly. “Did she?”

“Well, I’m not sure about that. She certainly opened my eyes. We were only together four or five weeks. I have no idea where she is now, but if I knew, I’d thank her.”

“Why?”

“Because she taught me I could ‘make my own structure’. That the world is my oyster, basically. She told me there were girls out there who, if I treated them well, would do anything to please me.”

“What happened to her?”

“She moved on. She ‘found who she was looking for’. To this day I’m not even sure why I wasn’t more disappointed. I was happy for her. I mean, we always said it was temporary and that we weren’t right for each other. I missed her though. I missed her honesty. She left me with amazing memories and a couple of books. One by Gloria Brame, and another by Jay Wiseman. She suggested I read them and I did.”

Elaine jotted down the names while Gary continued. “I was dumbstruck. Some of the concepts just ‘hit home’. The explanations of the way things worked blew me away. I was like Archimedes yelling, ‘Eureka!‘ After that, all I needed was to find ‘these people’. I had no idea where to look and for a couple of years I languished and the books gathered dust. Finding stuff on the net that pointed me in the right direction was heaven sent.”

“You met people?”

“Yeah. I’d never had a problem hooking up with new people, but this time I was really nervous. When I arrived, there were only two couples in the restaurant. I asked, ‘So, where are the subs?‘ It didn’t go down too well.”

“Sounds pretty funny to me.” Elaine sent a smile.

“That’s what I intended. Thankfully they realised it was my warped sense of humour soon enough.”

“You mentioned before that you were part of a small group. Are these the same people?”

“Yeah. Antonio and Nica. If you joined our group, they’d be the ones you’d speak to. Others have come and gone.”

Elaine bit her lip. “So, I could get a reference from them?”

“For me?”

“Yes.” There was a pause in the conversation; long enough for Elaine to think something was wrong. Didn’t I read he wasn’t supposed to hesitate? She held her breath. Finally he was typing.

“Do you have a pen?”

Chapter 11

Elaine was suddenly attacked by a severe case of hyperventilation. Her heart rate skyrocketed and her chest tightened, making her fight for air. I just wanted to know ‘hypothetically’, not ‘actually’! her mind screamed as she typed desperately. “I’m sorry! That’s not what I meant!”

A second later, Gary messaged her back. “Let’s pause for a moment.”

Sitting back in her chair, Elaine closed her eyes as smaller and smaller butterflies attacked her stomach. The grip on her chest slowly loosened, and though her hands continued to tremble, she was able to breathe. When she opened her eyes, she saw that Gary had sent her a message.

“You meant, ‘if‘.”

Getting a tentative hold on herself, Elaine moved her chair back in and recommitted to following the advice she’d read. “Yes. I didn’t want the ‘actual’ number. I just wanted to know if you were willing to offer someone like Nica as the person I might call. I wanted to know whether you would backtrack, I guess,” she typed, blushing hard. “I mean, despite my fantasies, I’m still just curious. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, and I don’t want to get hurt either.” Elaine hoped the double meaning she intended was obvious. “And there’s a lot about me I haven’t told you.”

He waited a moment then replied, “I know. And I apologise if you felt pressured. That wasn’t my intent. I just wanted you to have the option, and I wanted you to see that I am quite willing to provide references… There are many questions I want to ask you, Elaine. Hundreds. But I don’t want to push you too hard. I want you to be comfortable with the pace we are moving, and I want you to choose that pace. Giving you Nica’s number gives you the choice of what pace is right for you.” He was typing again, so Elaine waited. “Elaine, I want to meet you. You are on my mind a lot. I won’t lie about that. The only reason I’m admitting that is to be honest with you. Not to pressure you. You don’t need to respond.”

Elaine didn’t. It wouldn’t have been wise. Instead she kept safe. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

“Welcome. Look, go get a pen and write down the number, okay? I’ll call Nica tomorrow and let her know you ‘might’ call one day. No pressure.”

Elaine breathed a bit harder, but stayed in control. “All right. I’ll be right back.” Retrieving her diary and a pen from the pocket of her backpack, it dawned on her that Gary was taking a risk too. She could be anyone, but for some reason he trusted her. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Elaine asked.

“I’m sure.”

“Okay, shoot,” she typed, her hands still shaking as she picked up the pen.

Gary recited Nica’s number and needlessly explained why he would ring her first thing in the morning. “Otherwise she might think you are some crazy person,” Gary typed, following his message with a wink.

“Do you get many of those?” Elaine asked.

“Crazy people?”

“Yes.”

“Not lately. Over the years it’s mostly been subs that weren’t right for me. They come in all shapes and sizes, and some are quite pushy.”

Where did he meet them? Elaine wondered. “Something just occurred to me.”

“Fire away.”

“Well, I hope this doesn’t sound rude, but I remember you saying that you weren’t looking for anyone on the ‘net… that you didn’t think you’d find anyone.”

“Yes.”

“But you also said that originally you hooked up with people in the lifestyle through the ‘net, and just a moment ago you said there have been subs after you.” Remembering more of the advice she had been given, she opened up the question. “Can you explain that?” Elaine wondered if she’d crossed a line.

“Sure. But first I’d like to mention that you are asking all the right questions. Ten out of ten.” He sent a smile before continuing. “At first I was quite enthusiastic about the Internet. It seemed to answer most of my prayers. Admittedly I romanticised the lifestyle in my head for two years after Anita moved on, but the ‘net provided me with a way into it, and I guess as a result I was overly fond of it for a while. Anyway, back then, finding someone on the Internet seemed to simply be a matter of time.”

“What happened?”

“I met my ex-fiancé.”

“Oh.” That explains it.

“Yeah. Her name was Leah, and the best, or worst, thing about meeting her was that we both went about it the right way. She was an experienced sub. We chatted for months before we actually met. She wanted to ‘make sure that the potential I had was real’, or something like that. Everything seemed perfect and when we finally did meet, we hit it off straight away. She taught me a great deal. We were a model couple and others on the ‘net would refer to Leah and I as examples of how things could work. We were living proof that the Internet could lead to a successful relationship, and everyone loved us.”

“And the failure of that relationship put you off the ‘net?”

“Not exactly. We were into each other from the start, spending time alone, together like you and I are now, on Messenger. Once we hooked up in real life and moved in together, we occasionally went online, just to touch base, but mostly we had been doing our own thing. Apart from emailing our real life friends, we had little time for the Internet. Six years later, when it all collapsed on our wedding day, well… It was pretty traumatic and for a long time I didn’t want to face the whole ‘what happened?‘ scenario in the chat room. That was over a year ago. Since I returned I’ve promised myself I’ll just be an advice giver.”

“It must have been surreal. I can certainly understand why you’d have no faith in the ‘net.”

“As far as I was concerned, the chances of meeting someone were nil.”

Elaine bit her lip. “What changed? Why me?”

“Well, let’s see. I could say almost anything here. I could say it was your sparkling personality. I could say it was your manner and your obvious effort to be respectful and pleasant. I could say it was your honesty and your innocence. I could say it’s because I want to teach you. Or, I could say it was because I want to corrupt you… I could even say it was your picture.” Gary shot off a smile with its tongue poking out. “All of which is true. But none of it really explains what is happening in my head. I think the biggest reason was… you had the ability to change my mind.”

“I’m not sure if I understand.”

“What I mean is, until you came along, I wasn’t interested. You had the capacity to change my mind and become interested again. That’s a very powerful thing… Look, logically I knew someone special could do it. I didn’t know how, and I certainly wasn’t expecting it. But it was instinct that told me you were right for me. Over the years, if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s to listen to my instincts. And anyway, how does one describe the phenomenon of ‘connecting’ with another person? Or of attraction? And um… I better stop talking like this…”

“Gary?”

“Yes, Elaine?”

She started typing. “The good thing about connecting with someone is that there are some things you don’t have to explain. Please don’t worry, Sir. I feel the same way. Or at least I feel like we definitely connect. And um, I think if you look anything like your picture, I can confidently say I will find you very attractive. There are no hurdles in front of me at this point. Apart from unmitigated terror, of course.”

“Chuckles. Thank you. It’s comforting to know I’m not making a complete fool of myself… I think…” Another wink popped up. After a moment, he continued. “When you type something, I can hear your voice in my head… Okay, now I sound either needy or psycho. I’m neither. I’m just excited.”

“It’s all right.” He grinned again. “If you weren’t excited, I’d be worried. But what I meant was, I just have a good feeling about this. I don’t want it to stop, and I want to do it right. And somehow, I want to know that you are right for me too.”

Elaine’s breath caught in her throat. Prising her thighs apart from their clenched position, she sat up straight, reading his words a second time. She wanted to ask, ‘How?‘ but she recognised the answer would be too hypothetical. Finally she took a deep breath and amazed herself by typing, “We are going to meet each other, aren’t we?”

“Yes. Because I’m afraid I’ll fuck this up. And at the same time, I hope I’m not making a huge mistake.”

“Me too.”

“Nods softly. Being nervous is normal. You will be meeting someone you haven’t met before, just as I am. If I had my way, we would expect little from our first meeting. It would be kept short, perhaps one hour. Somewhere public. Somewhere accessible and well lit where you can park close by. These would be my plans. I have no need for you to accept them, I’m just telling you how I would do it.”

“I get that. And I appreciate it. I’m interested in what you are saying. Please go on.”

“Okay. I understand the fear of the unknown, and I understand the fear of failure. Rest assured that I would take your fears into consideration with every choice I made. Know that I would NOT ask you to submit to me when we first met. I would like us to meet as equals, two, maybe three times; each time confirming our continued desire to move forward. We would develop a friendship first, before we became anything more. And there’s something else you should know…”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Your submission to me must be by your own free will. You will offer it to me. I will never request nor expect it. Ever. Your submission will always be contingent on how I act. Outside of a ‘scene’, I will never demand your submission. I don’t want a doormat, Elaine, and I don’t want someone who feels obligated. I want someone who submits because she wants to.”

Elaine realised she’d been holding her breath and she sucked in air. “Thank you, Sir.”

“If I screw up again, let me know.”

“I will.”

“We are going to take our time, Elaine. That’s my decision, and it is final.”

Why the fuck am I crying? Elaine wondered. “Yes,” she typed. “I want that too.” Elaine could hardly believe the conversation they’d been having. She resolved to copy it before it disappeared into the ether. Later she’d read it over. Maybe even twice. Somewhat reassured, she smiled softly to herself.

Is it possible he just ‘knows what to say’?

Almost right on time, he changed the subject, while not changing it at all. “Have you completed your BDSM checklist?”

“Yes. As much as I can.”

“I imagine you have a few items you’d like me to explain.”

“Um… about twenty? Maybe twenty-five?”

“Chuckles. That’s okay. Can you send me the list of queries?”

“I will. And I want to say I’m sorry in advance. I’m completely inexperienced in most of this, Sir.”

“Never apologise for who you are, Elaine.”

His words stopped her and she thought them over. “You’re right. I won’t. I’m proud of who I am.”

“Good.”

As another thought occurred to her, her heart fell. I am going to have to face telling him things about me before I meet him. He should know I’m a ‘virgin’. “Sir, I’ve…” She paused, not quite believing what she was about to tell him. “I’ve never been with a man.”

Seconds passed. Elaine stared at the screen, willing Gary to respond.

Please, please, please…

At last he did. “You are full of surprises, Elaine.”

She wanted to apologise but didn’t. “I still have a few up my sleeve.” She thought her response was so clever, she almost giggled.

“I’m glad,” he typed, sending a grin too. “If you are trying to make me less excited, it’s not working. Wait a minute. Don’t answer that.” Then he winked.

“A girl’s gotta keep some mystery.”

“Absolutely!”

Sweet relief flooded her veins, intoxicating her. “Thank you for being patient with me, Sir,” she typed, drying her eyes. “I really do appreciate it.”

“There is no other way.”

“Nods a little and looks up at you.”

“Smiles down on you. It’s getting late. Time for bed, I think.”

“Yes, Sir,” Elaine replied, glancing at the clock. “I really enjoyed our conversation.” There was still so much she hadn’t told him!

“So did I.”

“Smiles softly. Good night, Sir.”

“Good night, Elaine.”

She watched as he disappeared. Momentarily, she felt drained. Without warning, a surge of adrenalin swamped her exhaustion, leaving her shaking, fingers trembling as she directed the mouse to close down the computer. For a moment she had to sit back in her chair, just to get her bearings. Her heart was beating wildly, and she was almost gasping for breath again. She wasn’t certain whether her legs would carry her to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

My God. He knows I’m a virgin!

Panting quietly, she leaned her elbows on her knees and hung her head.

She was absolutely soaked.

This is getting ridiculous. I better take an Ambien.

***********************

For the second night in a row Elaine slept naked. It felt nice. Kind of free and decadent at the same time. The pleasure she felt at the discovery didn’t last long. Getting ready for class, pulling her ridiculous skirt up her bare legs made her feel self-conscious. Two simple buttons at the front kept it clinging to her hips. The light cotton garment hugged her for a couple of inches, then the skirt part had extra material that flounced outward. Swallowing, Elaine opened her window to check the ‘breeze situation’ and was pleased to see it was windless. She turned on her radio, hoping to catch the weather report.

Then she remembered her promise to check Kendra’s bag. I’m going to need Chelsea there, Elaine thought as she pulled her bright pink ‘Betty Boop’ t-shirt over her head. The screen-printed image on the front would camouflage her nipples, even if the colour screamed at people to look.

The skirt though was another matter entirely. Not only did the two items barely match, Elaine didn’t wear little girl stuff like this. Not outside. It was a ‘kick around the house and watch T.V.’ kind of skirt, not a ‘wear to class’ skirt. She would never have contemplated wearing the flimsy thing outside the front door, even if someone paid her. Looking at herself in the mirror, she realised her cheeks were burning and she was getting excited again.

I can’t believe I’m going out in this.

Tugging a little forlornly at the hem, Elaine chose her off-white, over-the-shoulder cloth bag rather than her backpack. If putting on her backpack had somehow caught the skirt and lifted it without her knowing, she’d have died.

I look kind of cute. Maybe I should wear heels? God, could I? Oh, I have to, at least out to the kitchen! The girls will freak! Imagine their faces!

Rummaging in her wardrobe, Elaine grinned when she ‘accidentally on purpose’ took a quick look at her toys. The latex pink dildo matched her t-shirt almost perfectly. She couldn’t wait to use it. If it didn’t look exactly like a guy’s six-inch cock she could have used it to accessorise! Elaine’s giggle didn’t last long when she realised she was on her haunches with her knees spread apart.

I better not squat like this in company, she reminded herself as her thighs snapped together. Grabbing the off-white pumps her mother had bought for her cousin’s wedding, she shivered when she stood in front of the mirror again for ‘one last look’.

How do girls wear stuff like this? Elaine wondered, sizing up her smooth shapely legs. She wished she’d spent at least a little time sun tanning. She wouldn’t get a chance till she went home at the end of semester. After working some gel into her hair and applying glossy lip protection, she was ready. The light pink lipstick she had planned on wearing would have been too much. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed her bag and headed to the kitchen. As Elaine went about making a fresh pot of coffee, she hoped her roommates would soon emerge.

She had woken early to be certain to catch them, and she was already on her third cup of coffee before they finally made an appearance. When they did, Elaine was surprised to see that her outfit was risqué, but Kendra’s was positively scandalous.

“What are you looking at?” Kendra hissed as she dumped her purse and folder on the kitchen table, slumping in a chair. Elaine went back to stirring the three new cups she’d made as Kendra spoke to Chelsea, though much more softly. “I can’t believe you’re going to make me do this.”

“They’re the rules.”

“What’s going on?” Elaine asked. Kendra rolled her eyes and didn’t say a word, so Elaine looked at Chelsea. Chelsea looked like the cat that ate the cream.

“Kendra dropped pizza on herself last night. She was wearing her clothes for today. I won’t let her wear them ’cause she wouldn’t normally. That’s all she has left.”

“No way,” said Elaine, covering a laugh.

“Oh, shut up. You don’t look much better.”

Chelsea looked Elaine up and down and said, “I think she looks hot. Never better, Elaine.”

“Thanks.” Elaine tried not to blush but it was too late.

“And I look like a fucking hooker, right?” Kendra snapped then pouted.

Elaine leaned against the kitchen counter, sipping her cup of coffee. She couldn’t help herself. “Love the skirt. Isn’t it the one you wear dancing?” Elaine asked, barely containing a giggle.

“Yes. Satisfied?”

Elaine figured Kendra deserved a bit of teasing. “No, I’m not. Stand up and lift your hem. I have to check you’re not cheating. God knows I would if I was wearing that!” Elaine exploded into giggles and so did Chelsea.

“Chelsea already checked,” said Kendra, her pout accentuating.

“That was half an hour ago, before you went to the bathroom. You could have slipped some knickers on in there.”

“Oh, for fucks sake.” Kendra abruptly stood and peeled the hem of her shiny gold skirt almost up to the wide white belt that encircled her hips. “Happy now?”

Elaine just stared. The sight of Kendra revealing her pussy in such a short, tight skirt, coupled with her bobbing breasts barely held in a bikini top she’d normally only wear to the beach, was breathtaking.

Kendra just shook her head. “Anything. Just don’t make me go out like this.”

“That’s it!” cried Chelsea.

“What?” laughed Elaine.

Turning to Kendra, Chelsea said, “Your punishment is you have to wear what you are wearing right now, until tonight!”

“No! That’s not fair! I lost. This bet is over.”

Elaine bit her lip, wondering what Chelsea would say.

“It’s over after you streak down the stairs and back up again. And unless you want to do it in broad daylight, you’re stuck in those clothes till after eight tonight. Right, Elaine?”

“Right. Two against one.” Elaine was surprised at how good it felt to turn the tables.

“Guys, please. I just put them in my purse, ‘in case’. I was only going to wear them if the teasing was unbearable.”

“Bullshit,” said Chelsea. “You said yourself you only have two classes today. You could do it standing on your head.”

Kendra sighed and visibly swallowed. For a moment Elaine felt sorry for her and it occurred to her that, while it was a technicality, Kendra hadn’t actually put them on. She was about to mention it when Kendra took a different tack.

“Since it’s not over till I streak the stairs, it’s only fair if you guys can’t change either. Or wear panties.”

“Deal,” said Chelsea. Of course Chelsea was immaculately dressed.

Elaine’s jaw dropped again. She hadn’t realised how relieved she was that she hadn’t lost. “Hey, wait a minute!” she interrupted. “It’s Kendra’s penance, not mine. I’m putting undies on right now.”

“She’s got a point,” said Chelsea, looking to Kendra for her reaction.

“Oh for Christ’s sake,” said Kendra. “Whatever. I need to go to the bathroom. I’m scared shitless now. Thanks.”

As she watched Kendra’s back, Elaine couldn’t believe it. It was all over. Turning to rinse her cup, she was joined by Chelsea at the sink, standing elbow to elbow. “You do look really good, you know,” she said. “You should put on a thong and think about keeping the outfit as it is anyway.”

“I don’t think so,” scoffed Elaine.

“I guess you don’t get off on it like Kendra does.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think she lost on purpose. How else do you explain why she didn’t argue like crazy? Under the façade, she’s enjoying being a show-off. She’s probably been flashing half the school and getting off on it. She wanted to lose, I bet.”

Chelsea’s theory would haunt Elaine all day. As did her own reaction, which was to do exactly as Chelsea suggested and slip on a thong while keeping the rest of her outfit intact. She surprised herself with how easily she made the decision, though she wasn’t sure why.

She knew how though. It was the dull throbbing in her frustrated loins. Either that or it was the silky, skin-coloured thong hugging her pussy. It always made her feel sexy, and this was no exception. That she might choose to dress like this, somehow gave Elaine a sense of how Kendra might have felt, at least if what Chelsea had said was true. The clothes she wore exhibited her body, and after the trauma of yesterday’s initiation, wearing them didn’t seem quite as frightening, even though she’d still look naked if her skirt flipped up at the back. Her nipples tingled, tightening at the thought.

Within minutes all three of the girls had stepped out the front door.

*************************

“Are you ready?” Chelsea squealed. “You have to make sure she goes right down to the bottom!”

“Yes. I’m at the bottom of the stairs!” replied Elaine into her mobile phone. She had to shout over the voices of the crowd around her. Elaine had left her roommates at the top of the stairs, with Kendra wrapped in nothing but a bath towel. Giggling into the phone, Elaine said, “I can’t believe you told your whole Education class!”

As she stood at the foot of the stairs, with upturned faces all around her, Elaine watched as, with a flourish, Chelsea whipped off Kendra’s bath towel, and the crowd roared!

They must have brought their friends too! thought Elaine, glancing around again and laughing. If Kendra hadn’t been such a good sport about the whole thing, saying she was determined to enjoy it and that it was something she’d never have the chance to do again, then the whole situation might have been less, well… publicat least. Elaine just couldn’t believe she was witnessing it.

Kendra didn’t run. She’d already told Elaine and Chelsea that she wasn’t going to look like a complete idiot with her tits flopping all over the place while she scrambled down and back up the stairs. She said she was going to walk slowly and confidently, with her head held high. That was when Chelsea suggested she borrow Elaine’s pumps.

Elaine had started giggling again when Kendra replied, “Why not? In fact, why don’t you invite your whole class?”

“Okay, I will,” Chelsea had replied, reaching for her phone. Kendra hadn’t even protested! When she finally retired to her room, Elaine had the bizarre thought that Kendra was going to masturbate. Elaine had chastised herself, immediately extinguishing the lewd image that had thrust itself into her mind.

Compared to that, the sight of Kendra slowly walking down the stairs almost completely naked, was artistic. Looking up at the sight of Kendra, her body glowing orange in the setting sun with her hand lightly holding the handrail, Elaine thought she looked beautiful. Kendra was smiling the whole time, her teeth flashing as she looked out over the sea of faces, swinging her hips slowly as she basked in the experience.

The whistling and shouting died down in moments and an intimate hush came over the crowd. Silently we witnessed Kendra’s beauty in its most natural state, and Elaine thought she could have heard a pin drop. Now and then Kendra would giggle or make a comment, like, ‘This is intense!‘ while murmurs of agreement rolled around.

Inside a minute Kendra was leaning on Elaine’s shoulder and slipping off the pumps. “Not my size,” she said, then winked and started back up the stairs. When she stood at the top and Chelsea held out the towel for her, Kendra refused, instead turning back to the crowd below, waving both hands over her head. Good-natured cheering and applauding spontaneously broke out, building suddenly in intensity. Carrying the high heels, Elaine ran back up the stairs, laughing and taking two steps at a time.

“Oh! My! God!” they’d chorused as the front door closed behind them. Even from inside their apartment all three could still hear the clapping, and they cracked up in nervous, adrenaline-charged laughter. Kendra took off for her room, returning five minutes later to sheepishly grin and announce she was having a shower. Chelsea and Elaine sat on the sofa with the radio on in the background while they giggled and shook their heads.

Elaine wasn’t sure what to say or even think! While she could imagine herself sneaking down and up the stairs sometime after midnight with barely a soul around, what she’d just witnessed Kendra do was staggering. And she actually seemed to enjoy it! There was no way Elaine could have paraded naked like that in front of a crowd. No way!

Still, the idea of doing what Kendra had done sent a shockwave of pleasure through her stomach and down her quivering thighs. Elaine crossed her fingers in her mind, hoping her roommates were going out. Checking her watch, she smiled to herself. In fifteen minutes Gary would be coming online. She hoped. Her hands started to tremble and she gripped the arms of the chair, making to get to her feet. “Are you guys going anywhere tonight?”

“We’re going to the Spotlight, then to a party. I wouldn’t expect us home before sun up. Do you want to come with us?” Chelsea asked.

“Maybe next time,” Elaine replied honestly, thinking it might actually be fun. Standing and preparing to head for the sanctuary of her bedroom, she said, “I have a few things I want to do tonight.”

Chapter 12

After booting up the Internet and logging on to Messenger, Elaine was notified of two new messages in her email box.

She knew one was from herself. She’d emailed a whole host of links she’d unearthed after Googling the names ‘Gloria Brame’ and ‘Jay Wiseman’ on the library’s computer earlier in the day. They were the authors that had set Gary on his path. Between classes she’d had a bit of spare time and the library seemed to be the logical and safest place to go. At the time she hadn’t been so sure whether it had been better to be ogled by the geeks or by the general population of the college. She’d plumped for the geeks. At least they’d been quiet about it. Thank God for libraries.

In any case, some of the quotes and extracts she’d read from the two respected authors had stuck in her mind, and during the ensuing hours, Elaine had decided that rather than following the links, she’d take the plunge and buy the books that appeared to be the most recommended. So she deleted the email.

The other email was from Gary and she held her breath as she opened it.

Greetings Elaine,

Forgive me but I’m having dinner with my mother tonight. She’s out from California and is going home on Sunday. I told her I was meeting someone online at 9.30 P.M. but if it’s okay with you, I’ll make it 10.00 P.M. so she thinks I put off my ‘date’ for her. She’ll love me for it. She thinks I’m crazy as it is, meeting with someone online.

Also, I spoke with Nica. She won’t think you are a nut now. 😉

Gary

Elaine swallowed as she clicked the reply button and sent a ‘thank you for letting me know, Sir’ email. With over an hour of free time that she wasn’t expecting, she was determined to use it well and not think about Nica. Opening her Amazon.comaccount, she ran a simple search on the authors for whom she was looking.

After purchasing SM101 — A Realistic Introduction, she couldn’t help but throw in Tricks to Please a Man, both by Jay Wiseman. To these publications she added the legendary Different Loving – A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission, by William and Gloria Brame, then practically busted her monthly book allowance by also buying Come Hither — A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex, by Gloria Brame alone.

It wasn’t until she was trying to figure out when the books would be delivered that she realised she’d probably have to hide them. She could keep them in her closet with her toys, she supposed.

No, dammit. I’ll put them with my other books. I’m not ashamed. I WON’T be ashamed.

Her diary, sitting quietly beside her computer where she’d left it, distracted her. Inside it was Nica’s number. She hadn’t thought about it much at all, but knowing Gary had done the prelim work with Nica was strange. There was a woman out there who would be able to tell Elaine that Gary was really who he said he was, and she was waiting for her call. Elaine knew that Simone, ‘acquiescent’, had said as much in the chat room, but talking on the phone to someone who actually knew Gary was a bizarre prospect.

Without thinking, she picked up her bag from beside her desk and went through it, finding her mobile.

I’ll put her number in, just in case I decide to call.

Elaine could feel herself blushing while she did it. It was there now. Just a few buttons away. For a moment her phone fascinated her and she stared.

She’s so close. She could tell me I was okay. She could tell me I was not just okay, but that I was on the right track. I could find out. I promised myself I’d check. How far do I want to go before I check? It’s not something he can fake is it? A female voice? I have to call her…

She pressed the buttons and held the phone to her ear. It started ringing.

I can’t believe I’m doing this…

“Hello? This is Nica.”

“Um, hi. This is Elaine speaking, a friend of Gary’s. I’m sorry to bother you at this hour but-”

“Elaine! Hello! I was not expecting your call for a few weeks yet!”

She had an accent. Puerto Rican? Elaine had no idea. “Hello, Nica. I’m pleased to meet you, over the phone at least.”

“This is a very nice surprise. I did not know you would call so soon, baby!”

“I’m sorry.”

“Ah, don’t you worry. I feel like a big fat mother hen. If you were here in front of me, I would hug you!”

Elaine giggled. She wondered what Nica was like… She’d assumed she was a subbie like her, but maybe she was wrong. “Thank you. I’m so nervous.”

“Ah, Elaine. C’mon. I’d say that’s normal. Now, what would you like to know?”

Elaine’s mind went momentarily blank. I should have thought this over! “Um, how long have you known Gary?” she asked, it being the only question that came to her.

“Antonio and I know Gary maybe five years now. He’s a good man. He’s wasting away.”

Elaine bit her lip. “Can you explain that?” she asked, a little worried.

“I just mean he’s so shy! I ask him, come to the Ren Fest. No he’s busy. I say, come to the city with us. Oh, no. What about this and that, no he’s busy. I don’t know. He needs to open up again. Not be afraid of being hurt.”

“I won’t hurt him. I’m worried about me, not him.”

“I know this, sweetie. I hear it in your voice.”

Elaine smiled again. Her cheeks were starting to hurt. “He’s a good man?”

“Oh yes. Fine man. He will treat you well. You will be safe with him. I must tell you something even Gary does not know.”

“Yes?”

“When Leah leave… you know Leah?”

“Yes.”

“When she leave, she say to me, she say, ‘Nica, you tell him, is not his fault.’ I never get the chance to say to him this.”

“Why not?”

“Ah, this and that. We not go to the last couple of parties. Before that, Gary not come.”

“So you haven’t seen him in a while?”

“Oh, no. We see him last week. We buy a horse. Gary is getting a good, how you say… reputation for horses. He will do well. We stay for dinner. He can cook too.” Nica laughed heartily.

Elaine sighed with relief. “So he knows what he is doing?”

“Oh, yes. I have seen him work. He is very good.”

Elaine’s stock of off-the-cuff questions was exhausted and she didn’t know what else to say. “Thank you, Nica,” was all that occurred to her.

“You welcome, baby. Nica is very impressed. Is that all?”

“I can’t think of anything else to ask. I should have thought about it first but I just rang.”

“Nica is glad you did. You can trust Nica to tell the truth. I promise this, Gary is a good Master, and if you can make him yours, you will not be sorry.”

A tear fell down Elaine’s cheek. “Thank you, Nica. Thank you so much. Maybe I’ll meet you one day and we can laugh about this.”

“Maybe one day. Antonio needs me, I gotta go, okay?”

“Yes, thanks again.”

“You welcome. Bye-bye, baby.”

“Bye, Nica.”

Well, thought Elaine, still staring at her cell after disconnecting the call. That certainly wasn’t Gary putting on an accent!

Wow.

Glancing at the computer, Elaine was pleased to see that Gary hadn’t messaged her while she was on the phone. Checking the time, she saw it was nine thirty-eight P.M. She had to keep an eye on it in case he arrived early.

She was so anxious to play she decided to get her toys out so she’d be ready. Sitting beside them on the bed, she checked them out again to make sure they were clean and the batteries in the vibrator worked. They did, but they were a little weak. She decided to run down the old ones then change them. She grinned. It felt awesome when she put new batteries in. It was like, whoa! Lots of fun.

Licking her lips subconsciously, she remembered Gary’s words. ‘No playing until after we’ve talked’. That was the agreement. It wasn’t an order. It was more like a promise. And there was never a question of Elaine breaking the promise. No matter how casually the gauntlet had been thrown down, she knew it was a gauntlet all the same. It was true that she’d only had a couple of opportunities, but she was glad she’d been able to resist. She was also glad it wasn’t later in her cycle. That would have been hell.

At a mental dead-end, and with nothing left to do while waiting for Gary to arrive, Elaine’s mind wandered as she sat on the edge of her bed.

What would it be like to be naked in front of someone, especially if they were fully clothed?

Kendra knew.

Maybe Chelsea was right. Maybe Kendra DID want to know what it was like. Or at least she wanted to ‘know if she could do it’. Elaine couldn’t have done it. Not before a crowd. Not even in her dreams had she been naked in front of a whole crowd of people.

But what about in front of Gary?

Goose bumps rose on Elaine’s arms and legs as the fine hairs stood to attention. There was something about being naked in front of someone clothed… something erotic… so vulnerable and exposed. The difference between what she saw in her mind and what Kendra had done was fairly plain.

Intimacy.

Taking another look at the computer, Elaine soon found herself staring as she took hold of her t-shirt and drew it up her body and over her head. Almost mechanically she stood by her bed and undid the buttons on her skirt, letting it fall to the floor.

I want to be naked in front of him. For me, Elaine thought to herself. I won’t mention it but I won’t lie.

A tremble ran over her skin, electrifying enough to make her close her eyes and mentally hold on. When she opened them, she was looking down at her toys. The idea of using them, even just attaching the clamps, crossed her mind. She wanted to feel the butt plug again too, and the dildo pumping in her cunt and the vibe on her clit, and…

Fuck! she said when she glanced at the computer again, her heart leaping at the message that had popped up on the screen. Dashing over to her desk, she sat down and pulled her towel-covered chair under her ass, hardly believing she was completely naked.

If only he knew!

The message read, “Hello Elaine.”

“Greetings, Sir,” she typed. “I’m sorry if you were waiting. I was in a dream world.”

“That’s okay. It was only a moment. How was school?”

“It was all right. Um, I have a confession to make. Well not really a confession…”

“I’m listening.”

Elaine proceeded to tell Gary all about the bet she and her roommates had wagered, how it had turned out, and she even shared Chelsea’s theory about Kendra’s exhibitionism. She’d insisted it was just a theory. And she hadn’t used names. And she’d told him ‘in the strictest confidence’. He listened quietly as she told him about the crowd of people who watched and how amazed she’d been.

Elaine suddenly realised she’d been talking about it for ten minutes. “Ugh, listen to me. I’m a motor mouth.”

“I like listening to you.”

She bit her lip and typed, “Thank you, Sir.”

“Did the bet interfere with your schoolwork?”

“Um, yeah. A bit.”

“Then it probably wasn’t a good idea.”

“No. It was a really stupid idea and I can’t believe I decided to be in it. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost.”

“You’d have run the stairs.”

“Probably.”

“I’m sure of it.”

Elaine stared at his words. “I’m glad I didn’t lose.”

“Me too,” Gary typed. Elaine was a little lost for words, thinking about what he’d just said. As usual, Gary seemed to read her mind. “Talking hypothetically again, if we had agreed that you would participate in the bet, and you lost, then you’d definitely have been doing the stairs.”

Elaine swallowed. Had she made a big mistake? Did he think less of her for doing such a silly thing? “Yes, Sir,” she typed, her hands trembling. “Would we have agreed to my taking part?”

“I don’t know. We would have discussed it before I let you decide. I think I would have pointed out that your schoolwork might suffer. Apart from that, I’d say it was an educational experience. Though I think you could have made the same discoveries without making a wager with your roommates.”

“You mean going without panties…”

“Yes. You learned you could do it, didn’t you?”

Elaine’s body was tingling all over. All this talk was turning her on fiercely. “Yes. I learned I could go without panties. I learned it was incredibly distracting too.”

“Which is what I would have pointed out.”

“Because you want me to do well in school?”

“I want you to be who you want to be. I want you to succeed in anything you choose to do.”

Elaine smiled. Gary was typing again so she sat quietly.

“Nica called me a few minutes ago.”

Elaine swallowed. “That was fast.”

“She promised she’d call if you did.”

Elaine was unsure how to proceed. “She’s wonderful. How old is she?”

“Late thirties I think. A gentleman doesn’t ask,” he typed, then winked.

A stony silence settled between them. Elaine wasn’t sure if Gary was waiting for her or not, so she typed, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, you could say I passed. Unless I flunked.”

“Oh, God. Sorry. No. I mean, yes. You passed, Sir.”

“Chuckles. Thanks for telling me. I was considering strangling Nica for a moment there.”

“Oh, please don’t!” Elaine sent a huge grin.

“I won’t. She said you sounded lovely.”

“Please thank her for me.”

“I will.”

A more comfortable silence developed and Elaine could hear herself breathing. Her fingers started typing like they were remotely controlled. She had no idea where they were taking her. Later she thought it was fate… “I feel safer now. Knowing someone who respects you is a great comfort. Having my doubts removed is a feeling I’m not sure I’m comfortable with, but it’s a big relief all the same.”

“I’m glad.”

“Me too.”

“I bet you are. So now that you are satisfied, what changes?”

“Um, it opens the door.”

“To what?”

“To a meeting.”

“That’s right.”

Elaine hesitated. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“I don’t know.”

“Think about it.”

Elaine did.

Probably her biggest fear was losing control. Not just control over herself, but control over her life. What would be expected of her? Would it be like a detention centre where there were homework demands and grade expectations and lights out times? Would he tell her what to wear or how to act? How much would she have to change and how much would she have to learn? Would she be punished if she failed?

Would she be ‘coached’ to please him, both in public and in private? She wasn’t sure if she could do it… was she trainable? Did she want to be trained? Would he take his time and help her explore her abilities and limits?

She didn’t even know what he expected of her.

What would he do? Would it be hard?

Then there was another thing. Something just as important. She was afraid of herself… afraid of her potential reactions. What if she hated D/s or didn’t like Gary? Could she back out quietly and safely? What if she wasn’t good at something or couldn’t do something that was asked of her? Would he be forgiving?

Elaine’s mind was swirling.

What if he makes fun of me? What if I can’t control myself and I leave myself open to… to… anything? What if I make a fool of myself? God, she thought. What if I love it?

“I’m afraid of exposing all I am to someone,” she typed, gritting her teeth and fighting to keep her knees apart. The embers of passion were burning brightly within her, stoked by a soft breeze, as if on the verge of ignition.

“The first time is the hardest. I remember being so nervous. I think being potentially Dominant and relatively gregarious went in my favour. But you won’t be meeting a group of people. At first it will only be me.”

“I’m still scared.”

“I know. I’ll take your lead on this.”

“You don’t know how much I appreciate you saying that.”

“Sure I do. But I want you to remember, it’s just a meeting that you are contemplating. One hour. Somewhere public. I expect you to have a ‘call back’ too.”

“What’s a ‘call back’?”

“Someone who calls during our meeting to check on you. Make up a code. For example, let’s use your mother. What’s her name?”

“Angelina,” said Elaine.

“Then for example, when she rings to check up on you, if you call her Angelina, then everything is fine. However, if you call her ‘Angie’, then, ‘Something is wrong! Come and get me the hell out of here!’”

“That’s a good idea.”

“It’s not original.”

“Thank you anyway.”

“Welcome. The good thing is, you don’t have to admit to your ‘call back’ that our meeting is ‘part of the lifestyle’. Having someone checking up on you is simply a good idea when meeting online friends.”

“I understand. It’s still ‘crossing over’ though…”

“Yeah, I know. I guess what I’m saying is, don’t let your imagination confuse the issue. It’s just a meeting. One hour. Somewhere safe. There is nothing to fear.”

“I’m hearing your words, Sir. Maybe I just need to sleep on it…”

“Nods softly. Calling Nica was very brave. I’m proud of you.”

Elaine’s chest swelled. She sat up straighter. “Um, I’ve also been er, good.”

“You haven’t played?”

“No, Sir.”

“Then I am proud of you for what you have achieved this week. You’ve impressed me, Elaine.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“I expect you to celebrate.”

Elaine swallowed. Celebrate? She wasn’t sure what he meant. Did he mean by playing? Like, joyfully? She giggled. “What do you mean, Sir?” she typed, willing herself not to add a tongue poking out.

“I’m so pleased you asked,” he sent, winking. “Well, if you were good, and had impressed me and made me proud, how do you think I might reward you?”

“Um, I don’t know?”

“I’d reward you by giving you pleasure, Elaine. Wouldn’t I?”

“I… I guess so.”

“So therefore, I’d like you to give yourself pleasure, as I would.”

Elaine stared at his words, her hands frozen over the keys as images paraded themselves before her eyes. She had no idea what to type. She couldn’t ask, ‘how’? Could she?

“Firstly, I want you to remember that we are simply two people who are curious about each other. Secondly, that we appear to ‘connect’ and very importantly we can laugh together. And lastly, we are attracted to one another. It’s as simple as that. We like each other. In this way, we are no different to any other potential couple in the world. If we keep things simple, then there’s no reason why we shouldn’t meet.”

Elaine knew his words sounded reassuring. They were reassuring. Perhaps it was just ‘relinquishing control’ that she was afraid of confronting. Elaine thought that made sense. “Thank you for your words.”

“Good girl. Take your time. You know how I feel. And you know I want to meet you. I don’t need to repeat it, do I?”

“No, Sir.”

“Okay. I want your questions, Elaine. I want them all. Not right now, as it’s getting late, but answering them would please me, understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Next time we talk, we will examine and discuss our limits, okay?”

Elaine swallowed. Yes! “Okay, Sir.”

“It will be an intimate conversation. Do you understand that?”

“We’ll be talking about the kinds of things I could do and could not do. And the kinds of things you could do and could not do.”

“That’s very good. We’ll be talking about your body and my body. We’ll be talking about what we like and what we don’t like, and of course, what we imagine we might desire of each other. We’ll be assessing frankly, calling a spade a spade.”

Elaine’s breath was becoming ragged, and her heart felt too big for her chest. Somehow she typed, “I’m looking forward to it.” She almost giggled at her audacity. Instead she shook her head.

“So am I,” Gary typed back, with a grin. “I’ve almost finished describing the items in the list you had question marks over. I’ll send it back to you tomorrow. Let me know when you’ve finished it. Then we’ll talk about it, okay?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Okay. Good.” He started typing again. “I’m just trying to think of anything I might have forgotten. Well, there is one thing. I want you to remain realistic. I’m not perfect. Don’t expect some perfect man or perfect gentleman or perfect lover. I make mistakes just like anyone else. I forget things and I can’t do everything on my own. I recognise my imperfections and I’m not averse to talking about them. I like to know when I screw up so I can do something about it.”

“That’s a good trait, Sir.”

“And I just thought of something else.”

“Yes?”

“Before we meet, I want you to get used to calling me, ‘Gary’. I have appreciated and enjoyed the respect you have extended to me, Elaine. But if we are going to meet as equals, I want you to think of me as Gary first, and as Sir second.”

“How do I do that?” Elaine asked. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want to do something wrong.”

“It’s okay. How about mixing it up a bit? You may still call me Sir whenever you like. At some moments or points in our conversations, one or the other may appear to be more appropriate, but when we’re just chatting, I’m encouraging you to think of me as Gary.”

“I understand,” Elaine typed. “Thank you for helping me with this.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Sometimes I don’t know what to ask. You are making it very easy for me.”

“That’s my aim.”

Elaine nodded. Realising Gary couldn’t see her nod, she typed, “Thanks, Sir.” She giggled at her words. “I mean, Gary.” She sent a big grin and he sent one back.

“You are most welcome, Elaine. Now, if you don’t mind, I am going to go masturbate and think about you. So you may go and play now.” He winked.

If Elaine had been nursing a cup of coffee, she would have spilled it all over herself. A shudder ran through her body that grew in intensity the more clearly the image in her head appeared. Playtime was close and her body knew it. As her thighs clenched and her mouth opened, a flood of pleasure pulsed through her veins. For a second she held onto the seat of her chair, steadying herself and willing her knees to part.

When she opened her eyes, she saw Gary had sent another message.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. I’m just… Argh! I’m very horny, Sir. The thought of you playing just sends me. I need to play so badly. And I’m not going to last long either.”

“Keep talking like that and nor will I.”

Elaine blushed crimson, and she suddenly felt hot all over. She licked her lips, soothing her dry mouth. “I have to go. I can’t think any more. I’m sorry.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. Good night, Elaine.”

She wanted to thank Gary again. Shit, she wanted to hug him. “Good night, Gary. And thank you for being understanding. For everything.”

“Shhh. Go play.”

“Yes, Sir. I’m going.”

Elaine felt light-headed as she switched off the computer and sat in her chair a moment, staring at the blank screen. Her nipples were so tight they hurt. Somehow she’d kept them at the back of her mind, though they’d been hard for over an hour. Maybe longer. God. On and off they’d been hard for days. Reaching up, Elaine lightly brushed her fingertips over them. They were so hard they bent at the base. A soft murmur of pleasure escaped from her lips, turning into an anguished groan as she caught her nipples between her fingers and thumbs, pinching them lightly.

Shuddering again, her eyes started to flutter closed but she stopped them. Turning in the chair, she spied her toys on the bed. She swallowed again, trying to quench the desert in her mouth. Her legs felt weak as she stood and almost stumbled across the room, giggling and astounded at the same time.

It only took one step to notice how hot and wet her pussy was. Before she’d taken a second one, her hand was between her legs. She didn’t want to drip everywhere. She didn’t have the same concern for her bed as she sat down, distracted by the small cache of playthings. Taking short hard breaths, she picked up the ball gag, thinking, I’m going to need this. Fitting it between her teeth and buckling it, her eyes strayed to the rest of her toys, focussing on the one she hadn’t tried.

The dildo.

The similarity in colour to the shirt she’d worn made her giggle behind the gag. Her eyes flicked to the butt plug but the thoughts she had were discarded as too ambitious. Turning to her bedside table, Elaine fished around until she’d found the new batteries she’d bought, setting them on the tabletop and turning the light down until it was almost dark.

Leaning back on the bed, she grabbed the vibrator and turned it on, raking it over her torso and breasts. They felt so hard, like speed bumps on her body. Another pass over each nipple made her groan. Nakedly she threw her legs open, reaching for the dildo and angling it for penetration between her legs.

He’d tease me, she thought, groaning in frustration as she put aside the idea of fucking herself hard and immediately. Instead she closed her eyes, holding her breath as the toy approached, awaiting the feel of the blunt tool parting her lips.

Barely touch yourself, he’d say. Her skin crackled with pleasure, her nipples throbbed and her scalp prickled. Still the toy descended, agonisingly slowly, her hips rising off the bed in anticipation.

Stop, his voice commanded. Elaine froze, an erotic sculpture in the making, the toy a hair’s breadth from making contact. She whimpered. She was already a wreck. With control bordering on the obsessive, Elaine’s tightly wound body held its form, arched in search of her single-minded pleasure.

Gently, he admonished. At his direction, she touched her slick lips with the cool tip of the toy, moving slowly upward, parting the folds before it. Swirling it downward, coating it with her copious juices, Elaine gasped as it pressed into her core.

Don’t cum.

Gritting her teeth into the gag, for a moment she held the toy poised, the head wedging open the bubbling pit of her self-induced agony. Her stomach muscles rippled. Just the feeling of an inch of penetration was almost enough to send her over the edge. She held her breath.

Nice and slow.

Elaine began a deep anguished groan as she sank the thick toy slowly into herself. The muscles in her legs and ass twitched and her eyes slowly rolled back into her head. “Nnnngggggggg!!!” Pressing the pink invader further into herself caused her to gasp through her nose. She froze with the toy deep inside, reaching desperately for her vibrator. She switched it on and just the sound and feel of it in her hand was enough to make her moan. Trailing it down her stomach made her clench her ass, tightening down on the pink latex cock buried in her pussy. The dildo had stretched her open deep inside. It was a feeling she hadn’t experienced and one she knew she’d want again and again.

Sliding the ridged, latex shaft gradually out was sweet torture. Before she’d had a chance to mourn its loss, she slid it back in. Her hips jerked, steadily building a rhythm as her self-control wilted. The buzzing vibrator skimmed over her pubic bone, sending shockwaves of pleasure crashing into her clit. “Nnnngggggggg!!!”

In frantic need, Elaine’s hips arched even higher and as she drove the dildo into herself and held it. A rolling hum like the sound of an approaching train began in her ears. She could almost feel its approach as the ground started shaking. Louder and louder came the sound in her ears. Her body was a tuning fork, trembling at the speed of sound. It barely registered that she’d pressed the vibe against her throbbing clit.

Cum for me!

The elastic band attaching her to reality snapped. With a plaintive cry, Elaine’s train of pleasure crashed into her. Maniacally thrusting her hips into the air, she would have been glad the gag between her teeth effectively muffled her screams of delight. But she didn’t hear herself. The train was rolling right over her, ringing in her ears as her bones rattled and shook.

When she came to, less than ten minutes later, she was lying in a very wet spot on the bed. Realising such a short time had passed was a wicked relief that sent a chill through her body. She wanted more!

Actually making it happen was a different story. Elaine had little strength in her rubbery arms and legs, rendering movement physically exhausting. For a moment she relaxed, planning her next move.

I should have put the clamps on, that would have been insane, she thought. But he didn’t tell me to, came the reply that made her blink. If he knew I wanted more he’d make me put them on. He’d use me progressively more deeply, getting into my head and my body. Her breath shuddered in her chest and her pussy fluttered up and down the length the toy still deeply embedded. The hand lying passively in her crotch twitched and came alive, stretching to lightly caress the lips of her pussy stretched tightly around the toy.

I’m so wet. I feel like I’m on fire!

Just the slightest touch had caused her clitoris to rise up again, unhooded and aching for attention. But she dared not touch herself there. Not until she’d replaced the batteries in the vibe. Leaning on her elbow, she found the plastic toy and retrieved the new batteries, silently going about the task.

He’s going to torment me. I just know it.

She whimpered as she lay back down. A glance at her body was enough to confirm her nipples were still as hard as ever. She turned the vibrator on low, feeling her heart palpitate as the toy leapt to life. Dragging it across her nipples, her back arched and she almost sobbed.

Clamp them.

Leaving the buzzing toy leaning against her hip, she found the iniquitous devices. With trembling fingers, she tightened each one down on the pebble-like balls of flesh that her nipples had become. Dragging her nails up her thighs, she moaned softly when she thought she was done.

Tighter.

She groaned as contractions swept the length of her pussy, her hands reaching for each clamp, adjusting them to a tight pinch that made her see stars. They almost burned! ‘Ooh, Goddd, ‘ went through her mind, leaving her mouth as a strangled cry. Feverishly she attacked her pussy, slowly withdrawing the dildo sending paroxysms of pleasure through her loins. Resisting the temptation to shove it firmly back in, the desire to see how wet she was swamped her mind.

She shuddered again as the toy came free, holding it up so it entered her vision. She took one look at the glistening latex phallus, and watched amazed as liquid with a honey-like consistency slowly coagulated into droplets that adorned the toy, running together and threatening to drip off onto her body.

Hold it over your face. Let it drip on you.

Her eyes were glued to the tip of the toy as she held it over herself. The drop forming there slowly ballooned before reaching critical mass. Fascinated, Elaine beheld the sight of her own juices, stretching thin and reaching down to touch her face as if in slow motion. The gossamer thread snapped and she flinched as the tail fell wetly on her cheek.

Wipe the toy across your face.

Her cheeks burned hotly and her pussy throbbed. Her nipples tingled somewhere between pleasure and pain, while her pulsing clit ached for her touch. She was on edge again! Complying fitfully, she closed her eyes as she crisscrossed her face with the sides of the toy, smearing her juices all over herself.

Such a dirty girl…

A tight contraction deep in her cunt sent Elaine’s thighs snapping together and clenching tightly, squeezing the bud of her clitoris and magnifying the gratuitous pleasure. “Nnngggggggggg!!!” she groaned pitifully.

Get on your hands and knees, then fuck your pussy for me.

She could hardly wait as she scrambled into position, taking the toy into her hand and reaching under herself, between her legs. The pretty baubles swayed from the ends of the clamps, sparkling in the light from her bedside lamp as her wet face contorted into a determined grimace. Sliding the dildo slowly into herself, in moments she was being fucked again.

“NNNGGGGGGGGG!!!”

You love it…

She fucked herself harder at the thought, submitting to her desires. Her breath whistled through her nose and she gasped around the gag as she fought for oxygen. Within a minute she was fucking herself hard, using the full length of the six-inch toy and wishing it was longer. And wider!

Glimpsing her approaching climax, she fumbled for the vibrator, finding it and flicking the switch on the end to ‘high’.

Wait. Fuck yourself harder.

‘Oh, please!‘ were her intended words as electricity charged through her body. Distorted by the gag, a desperate moan for release gurgled in her throat. With each thrust of the dildo, every nerve ending between her knees and her neck was firing, causing contractions in her muscles that grew in intensity the closer they were to her cunt.

Harder. Put your weight on your chest. Pull a pillow under yourself.

The toy plunged incessantly into her frothing pussy and Elaine could feel rivulets of juices running down her legs. Oh God forgive me, I love being fucked! With her chin she manoeuvred her pillow under the top of her chest. Her nipples dragged across the sheet as she lowered her upper body, taking her weight. She shuddered, her orgasm threatening to burst. Willing herself back from the inferno blazing seemingly inches away, Elaine gritted her teeth around the gag.

Hold the vibe hard against your clit and fuck yourself as fast as you can. Don’t cum for ten seconds.

The sound of her own voice echoed in her head as everything went black. A strange calm seemed to flow into the corners of her mind as the fire of her destiny consumed her body. Her almost violent climax built and built, finally shattering and taking with it every last ounce of her being. Incredibly, as her body shuddered and twitched, she managed to remain conscious. Opening her eyes widely, she could feel her pussy bearing down, fighting the blur of the thrusting dildo.

I’m going to cum again!

Her clit leapt and spasmed, the vibe still buzzing shrilly against it. Wetness pulsed around the dildo, running in waves down her thighs as she fucked herself even harder. Elaine’s mind seemed crystal clear as a burning climax ripped through her.

Surrendering her control, a moment of unbridled joy hit Elaine like a truck. Squealing her pleasure around the gag, her body went rigid, suspended in time for a moment, then shook like a sapling in a tornado. Collapsing forward in the midst of her orgasm, the tight clamps rolled off her nipples, sending twin spikes of pain into her mind, the waves of which radiated across her chest.

“Nnnggggggg…” she complained softly, squeezing her eyes shut as the blood pounded. The withdrawn toys fell from her grasp and for long minutes her body quivered, a mass of spent jelly.

Silence greeted her as her senses reawakened. She rolled onto her side, her chest heaving with the effort. With the little strength she had left she unbuckled and removed the gag, stretching her jaw as she laid her head down on the pillow. She promised herself she’d get up in a minute, as soon as the feeling in her legs returned.

Fuck.

That was amazing.

How can I even contemplate the idea of NOT liking sex?

Random ripples of pleasure rolled over her skin as her breathing calmed. Blushing hotly, she hoped she’d be able to retain her self-respect when she was finally with a man.

What if I can’t control myself? she wondered, frowning.

Then I’ll need controlling…

She giggled at the thought, covering her mouth as if she might be heard. That just made her laugh even louder. She rolled onto her back, her hands holding her smooth tummy as she rejoiced in her satiation. She was elated and adrenaline pumped through her veins. Smiling broadly at the folly of her thoughts and the exhaustion of her needs, she shook her head and swung her legs off the bed. It was two eighteen A.M.

Time to get cleaned up, and to get some sleep, she decided as she giggled again, tiptoeing nakedly to the bathroom.

Chapter 13

Despite the late night, the next morning Elaine felt energised and bounced out of bed in a good mood. A long hot shower was in order, and she indulged herself. Emerging with wet hair, a smile, and wrapped in a soft towel, Elaine made coffee while her roommates slept. She hadn’t even heard them come in, and it didn’t bother her one bit. She felt like she was walking on air!

What’s wrong with me? she wondered, giggling quietly. Carrying her coffee to the lounge room, she postponed getting dressed, instead slipping her favourite U2 LiveDVD into the machine, resisting the temptation to crank it up. As Bono serenaded her, Elaine relaxed into the couch, cradling the mug of coffee in her hands and closing her eyes.

She could hardly wipe the smile from her face. Crossing her legs only enhanced the feeling of being ‘well fucked’. Her pussy was warm and swollen. Muscles ached that she’d never used before. She was exhausted. And yet her skin tingled and her mind was doing somersaults!

She had almost heard his voice, telling her what to do. Where did her ability to construct such things come from? She knew she had a fertile fantasy world from which to draw, and she knew that postponement of her orgasm would raise its intensity, but her willingness to blindly follow her own suggestions, albeit imagined as Gary’s, made her shake her head and blush.

Would it be like that? she wondered.

If I don’t meet him, I’ll never know.

Sighing softly, she buried herself deeper into the sofa. God I love U2, she thought. It was almost like she’d grown up with them, like they’d shared everything that had happened to her. And in a way, they had. They’d been there through every traumatic moment in her life. Bono was a surrogate father, helping to fortify her moral backbone, giving her a vision of how things might be. Edge was her unbridled passion, her soaring hopes and dreams. And Adam, with the amazingly perfect biceps; he was her heartbeat, her rhythm, her grounding.

Opening her eyes and smiling at her thoughts, out loud she wondered, “So where does Gary fit in?”

“Huh?” asked Chelsea, shielding her eyes from the bright sunlight streaming in the window above the stereo. She collapsed on the other end of the sofa, crossing her arms and yawning. “Who’s Gary?”

Elaine didn’t feel like sharing Gary with Chelsea, at least not while she was in a teasing mood. Instead she rolled her eyes and asked Chelsea if she wanted a coffee.

“Yeah. Thanks. Don’t worry about Kendra, though. She’s not here.”

“Oh?”

“She went to a party with some friends from school. I didn’t see her after about two-thirty. Actually, I couldn’t see much of anything after about two-thirty. She’ll drag her sorry ass in sometime today. Don’t worry about her.”

“All right. I’ll get you that coffee,” said Elaine, heading for the kitchen. “Do you want some toast? I’m making some. It’s no trouble.”

Chelsea said, “You’re an angel.” That made Elaine smile.

When she returned with coffee and a plate of toast, Elaine noticed Chelsea was rolling a marihuana cigarette. “What are you doing?” Elaine asked. “It’s not even half past nine!”

“Coffee and a joint. Breakfast of champions.”

Elaine laughed as she sat down. “I didn’t realise they gave out medals for the most brain cells destroyed in a semester.”

“If they did…” Chelsea said, picking up a piece of toast. “Kendra would win hands down.”

“Well, congratulations on getting the silver,” said Elaine, sipping from her coffee and grinning.

“No one ever remembers who came second.”

“No one ever remembers anything in this contest.”

Now it was Chelsea’s turn to laugh. “That’s true.” When she’d finished munching through her second piece of toast, she sat back with her coffee and lit the joint. “So who is this guy?”

Elaine figured Chelsea was in a better mood. “His name’s Gary. I’m trying to decide if I should meet him or not.”

“You haven’t met him? Don’t tell me it’s through a dating agency.”

“No, nothing like that. I met him in a chat room and-”

“You met him in a chat room? Are you crazy?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, this Gary guy could be anyone. Chat rooms are supposed to be worse than dating agencies. He might be a rapist or an axe murderer.” Chelsea had moved to the edge of the couch.

“I don’t think I’d disagree with that, but he’s not.”

“How do you know?”

“I checked.”

“How?”

“He gave me the number of someone who could tell me about him. A friend. A woman.”

“And you called her?”

“Yes.”

“I still say you’re crazy.”

Elaine sighed. “You could be right.”

After taking a long draw on the joint, Chelsea offered it to Elaine. “Join me. I don’t like getting high on my own.”

“Pusher. Oh, all right.” Elaine took a small toke and held it out for Chelsea to take back.

“If you get high on that, I’ll wear my panties on my head for a week,” she said, nodding at the joint. “Have a proper go at it.”

Elaine giggled at the thought. She took a longer draw and held it in for a few seconds. “Better?” she choked out, blowing blue smoke.

“Lightweight,” Chelsea said, winking and taking back the joint and sinking into the sofa. “So you’re going to meet him?”

“I think so,” replied Elaine, enjoying her coffee.

“Where?”

“I don’t know yet. Somewhere public. Nearby.”

“When?”

“I don’t know that either. I’ll have to talk to him. Letting him decide is appealing.”

“Do you know anything about him? What does he do? What does he look like?”

“We’ve been chatting online for a while. He owns a business and he’s doing okay.” Elaine wasn’t sure whether she was prepared to show Gary’s picture to Chelsea. But unless she lied, she didn’t know how she could conceal it. “He looks good. I’ve seen his picture.”

“He sent it to you?”

“Yeah.” Damn.

“Do you still have it?”

“Yes.”

“Well? Let’s take a look, you ninny. You’re harder to get blood out of than a stone, Elaine. What are you hiding? What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing.” It was a matter of pride now. “Come on. It’s on the computer.”

“Cool,” said Chelsea, picking up her own coffee and following Elaine down to her bedroom. Once the machine was booted up and Elaine had produced Gary’s photo, full screen and in living colour, Chelsea hesitated and stared for a moment. “Um, sorry. Did you say he had a brother?”

Chelsea was still staring. “He has weird eyes. They kind of see into you. Jesus, Elaine. He’s hot. He’s a bit older though isn’t he?”

“Yeah. Thirty-four.”

“Jeez. Well he looks pretty good for thirty-four.”

“C’mon Chelsea, he looks like a frigging model. I feel a bit intimidated actually.”

“Has he seen your picture?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“He’s interested.”

“So what’s stopping you?”

Elaine wasn’t sure. “I don’t know.”

“I’m getting the munchies,” Chelsea said. “Let’s finish the toast.” Elaine nodded and they headed back out to the lounge room. When they were settled again, Chelsea said, “Well, if you don’t want to meet him, I will. I’d park my slippers under his bed anytime.”

“So you think I should?” Elaine could feel herself blushing.

“Let’s see. He likes me. I like him. I’ve checked up on him and he isn’t an axe murderer. And he’s hot. Yeah. I’d meet him in a minute.”

“But what if I don’t like him?”

“Then you leave. Jeez, Elaine. You said you’d meet him in a public place. It’s not like he could blindfold you, tie you up, and throw you in the boot.”

“I guess. I’ll wait until the time is right. I’m going to need a favour, though.”

“You want me to come too? I’d love to meet him. Maybe I could steal him from you.” Chelsea winked.

Elaine wasn’t so sure Chelsea was kidding. But she wasn’t worried. She was pretty sure Chelsea wouldn’t impress Gary at all. Kendra even less so! Still, the idea was perversely attractive, just to see what would happen. “I don’t think so. Not the first time. But I do want someone to call me on my cell phone in the middle of our meeting and ask how things are going.”

“I could do that.”

“I’d really appreciate it.”

“What if he’s holding a knife to your throat? How would I know?”

“I’ll call you ‘Chelse’, instead of Chelsea.”

“And then what?”

“Call the place where we were supposed to meet. If I’m not there, call the police.”

“Okay. I can do that. You’ve thought this over, haven’t you?”

“Yeah. I’m just trying to be cautious.”

“I’d say we’ve got him covered.”

“I hope so.”

For a moment they sipped from their cups and stared at the T.V. screen. Bono was mesmerising as he tore into an oldie, ‘Electric Co.‘ “Thanks for asking me,” Chelsea muttered, taking a dig at Kendra in her absence.

“I couldn’t have asked Kendra,” Elaine replied with a grin. “I wouldn’t have known how to shorten her name.”

“How about ‘Bitch’?”

They looked at each other and cracked up hysterically. Elaine laughed so hard she spilt coffee on the towel that was still wrapped around her body. She was completely taken aback by the fact that she was still in just a towel after being up for over an hour. “Um, I better get changed.”

“You’ve already changed.”

Elaine stopped climbing out of the chair. “What do you mean?”

“I dunno. You just seem to have changed lately. You seem more… three dimensional.”

“Really?” Elaine smiled warily. It was a strange thing for Chelsea to have said.

“Yeah. Like, you hardly talked to us for the first half of semester. Even though the past week has been weird, I feel like I know you better. I mean, look at you sitting there in a towel while you have your coffee. You wouldn’t have done that two weeks ago.”

“I guess I feel like I know you guys better too. Maybe it’s because we’ve seen each other’s cunts.” They burst out laughing again and Elaine took off for her bedroom before she embarrassed herself any further.

Of course she hadn’t been in her room for five seconds before she noticed Gary’s picture on her computer screen. Once she’d changed into shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt, she plonked into the chair and stared at him.

Who are you?

Are you real?

Elaine booted up the Internet and logged onto Messenger, feeling strangely relieved that Gary wasn’t online. At least he doesn’t spend all his spare time sitting on the computer, she thought, biting her lip. Taking the shortcut to her email account, she found there was an email from him in her mailbox, titled ‘Explanation of Queries’. She clicked on it and sent it to the back. She also found her copy of the BDSM checklist and opened it up, also sending it to the back. She planned to take a look at them in a minute.

Elaine took a deep breath. Bringing up a new email, she typed and pressed ‘send’ before she could change her mind.

Dear Gary,

I want to meet with you.

‘Mario’s Coffee House’.

Tell me when.

Elaine

She stared at the ‘sent message confirmation’ page, her heart thumping.

A minute later Elaine heard the front door close. She tried not to think about the fact that Messenger was still open as she brought Gary’s email to the front and read it. As she expected, he had given concise explanations of the terms she hadn’t been sure about.

She worked through her checklist, filling in the blanks and getting more nervous by the minute. As she reread her answers, images and feelings inundated her. Staring at the hundreds of answers she’d given, she had a thought.

I should send this to him.

The next thought didn’t take long in coming.

Wait until after you’ve met. ‘Take your time’. Remember?

With her chest thumping, she lay down on her bed and wondered what she was getting into. Elaine placed her left hand over her heart, feeling it pound, while her hardened nipple pulsed against the inside of her wrist.

It took her a little by surprise to feel her nipple so stiff, and she raised her right hand to the other one to see if it was the same. Running her fingers lightly over it confirmed the fact, making her breath catch in her chest. In one move, she raised her knees and separated them, her feet flat on the bed. The shorts she’d chosen tightened and she brushed her fingers over the material that now outlined her pussy. Her eyes fluttered closed.

“Mmmmmmm,” she moaned softly.

Her eyes shot open at the sound of the front door opening and closing. Glancing at her bedroom door, she noticed it was open and quickly sat up and got herself together as footsteps approached down the hallway.

“Are you here?” Kendra asked, tapping on Elaine’s door.

“Yeah,” Elaine said, a little out of breath. “Sure. Come in.”

Kendra had a big smile on her face as she bounced into Elaine’s room and sat on her computer chair, swivelling to face her. “Can you believe last night? I can’t believe I did that.”

“No! I can’t!” For once Elaine was glad Kendra was self-absorbed.

“It gave me such a charge. And guess what?”

“What?”

“My phone’s been ringing off the hook. I’ve got dates with three different guys next week!”

Elaine giggled. “Slut!”

“I knowww… But it’s so fun.” Kendra grinned.

“Did you um… Oh, never mind.”

“Tell me. Ask me anything.”

“I was just going to ask, did you like it? Being naked in front of all those people…”

“Scary and exhilarating. That’s what I’d call it. I always dreamed of doing something like that. I can’t believe I actually did it.”

Elaine looked at Kendra, searching her face for a hint of sarcasm… or anything. Finding nothing, she said, “It’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay. Well, if you change your mind…”

“Thanks, Kendra.”

“You’re welcome. You need to get out more. I don’t understand the fascination with the ‘net, but we were talking about it in a tutorial the other day. Lot’s of people meet others that way, apparently. You have to be careful though. Where did you meet him?”

The conversation was veering back onto ground that Elaine wasn’t comfortable sharing. “In a chat room. So, did you have a good time last night? Where did you end up?”

“Oh, God. I tell you, I didn’t even feel human until an hour ago. I think I’m still half-trashed,” Kendra said, a goofy smile crossing her face. “I got fucked in the ass, too. First time.”

“No way,” said Elaine, shocked at Kendra’s sudden and frank admission. She blushed uncontrollably, wishing she’d never asked her anything!

“Yes! It still feels like I have a ball of air up there,” said Kendra, chuckling and shaking her head.

Elaine wasn’t sure what to say. Talking to Kendra like they were best friends was almost as weird as her chosen topic of conversation. A whole bunch of questions occurred to her, like whether it hurt or whether she’d do it again. But she couldn’t bring herself to open her mouth and ask.

“It wasn’t too bad, really. I was glad I was toasted though. Doing it when I’m straight might not be as much fun. Anyway, are you hungry? I’m going to make a sandwich. You want one?” she said as she rose to her feet.

“That would be good,” Elaine replied as Kendra made for the door. “Chelsea should be home soon. She went grocery shopping.”

“Cool. Hey if you want to come to Spotlight with us tonight, it might be fun.”

“Maybe. We’ll see.”

“Okay.”

The door closed at almost exactly the same time an email ‘bonged’ from the computer. Glancing at the door, Elaine ran over and sat in the chair, bringing it up. It was from Gary. She read it and her heart began to race.

I am SO pleased. Meet me at Mario’s at three P.M.

Today.

Yes, today.

Gary

Elaine looked at her watch. Two hours. Mechanically she picked up her towel and headed to the bathroom. Remembering the sandwiches, she called to Kendra from the bathroom doorway. “I’m going to take a shower, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Okay!” Kendra replied from the kitchen.

Stripping off her clothes, Elaine appraised herself in the mirror. Leaning closer, she studied her face and frowned at a small pinkish spot just below the corner of her mouth.

Trust me to have a pimple.

She’d wear a little makeup to cover it. Something told her Gary wouldn’t want her to wear much. Glancing lower in the mirror, she noted her nipples were already hard.

I should wear a bra too.

Or should I let him see what all this does to me?

Damn it…

Elaine turned on the water and stepped into the shower.

She didn’t think Gary would be flirting with her. She tried to imagine how Gary might act… Or what he might want… Or how she might impress him…

He’ll probably be quite cool toward me until I decide what I want to do. Maybe I should dress business-like. Noooo… That’s stupid. It’s Saturday afternoon. Smart-casual? That makes more sense. Not too relaxed. I could wear my jeans. He’ll probably be in jeans and a t-shirt. Okay, that’s what I’ll wear. And scuffs. He’ll probably wear runners. Or maybe boots. If he wears cowboy boots I’ll just die.

She giggled then coughed when water went up her nose.

Back in her room, Elaine was sorting through her clothes when there was a tap on the door. She’d slipped on her black thong but was otherwise naked. “Come in,” she said, forgetting she was half dressed.

“These are getting dry-” began Kendra, a plate of sandwiches in her hands.

“Oops!” Elaine gasped as she realised, picking up her jeans and holding them in front of her chest.

“Hehe. Going somewhere?”

“Um, yeah. And ah, I don’t think I could hold anything down.”

“Why?” Kendra asked, smirking. She wasn’t leaving.

“I’ve got a date. Well, not a date really. A meeting. Today.” She looked at her watch. “In an hour and a half!”

“You might need your strength,” Kendra said, walking across the room to put the plate on Elaine’s bed. She noticed the jeans and pointed at them. “You’re not wearing those, are you?”

“I thought I would.”

“Why don’t you wear something that shows off your legs? You have good legs.”

Elaine looked down. “I need a tan though. Do you think I should?”

“I would. I’d wear something sexy. I guess the jeans are pretty tight. They show off your ass nicely.”

Elaine swallowed. “We’ll just be talking.”

“What if you hit it off? Or what if you would have hit it off if you wore something sexier? You’d never know.”

“I think I know what he’s expecting.”

“Don’t worry about what he’s expecting. Wear what you want to wear.”

It wasn’t bad advice and Elaine was momentarily tongue-tied. Kendra was right. “Thanks. I think I will. And thanks for the sandwiches.”

Kendra headed for the doorway and turned around. She was about to say something when the front door opened and closed behind her. She glanced toward it then turned back to Elaine. “Chelsea’s home. I bet she’ll agree with me,” she said, then looked over her shoulder again. “Chelsea? What do you think Elaine should wear on her date?”

“It’s not a date,” Elaine said, as she heard Chelsea dump the groceries in the entranceway and walk down the hall. Kendra pushed Elaine’s door wide open. Elaine still stood there holding her jeans against her chest, riveted to the spot as Chelsea stepped into the doorway.

“Give the poor girl some privacy, jeez, Kendra. Come and help me with the groceries. I’m beat after all those steps.”

“You could have called up,” Kendra said, lingering. “You usually do.”

“I thought I could make it.” Then to Elaine, she said, “Just make your choices and come model for us.”

“Thanks, Chelsea.” Elaine could feel how hot her cheeks were. She was getting wet too, but her thighs were together tightly and she was confident they couldn’t tell. Still, the thought made her even wetter. She took a deep breath and let it out as the door closed behind them. Her body shuddered with bottled tension as she laid her jeans on the bed and sat beside them.

“Maybe I should wear makeup,” she thought aloud, then bit her lip.

What the hell am I doing?

She looked at her computer. Gary’s email was right there on the screen.

It’s only Mario’s, for God’s sake…

She took a few deep breaths.

I’ll be okay. And he wouldn’t enjoy me making a spectacle. Kendra was right about one thing. I’ll just be myself.

Smart-casual, Elaine thought as she looked in the mirror, then twisted and checked out her ass. The jeans were snug, but with a thong it was much more comfortable than when she’d gone without. Just the thought of that day was enough to make her tingle, which didn’t help. She smoothed over her ass with the palms of her hands and lingered. The best part about wearing tight jeans with a thong was how her ass looked. Facing the mirror again, she was glad she put her nice little white bra on. It adequately camouflaged her hard nipples, thought they weren’t completely concealed. The black and red Mr. Bungle t-shirt was pretty tight and, happy with the look, she put on her white small heeled scuffs and went to model for the girls.

“That’s you,” said Chelsea, when Elaine stood in front of the stereo and pirouetted.

“She should wear a skirt,” said Kendra.

“I don’t want to play games,” said Elaine, hands on hips.

“I think she looks good,” Chelsea retorted. “The shoes bring attention to her legs, making someone wonder, without giving anything away. Her t-shirt says something about her choice in music though. Do you know what kind he likes?”

“I know he doesn’t go to line-dancing bars. He’s not into ‘Country and Western’. Led Zeppelin he mentioned. Um, that’s all I know. Do you think I should change it?”

“Oh, come on. You’d think she was going on a date with the Pope. Why isn’t she showing some skin?”

“Because it’s not a date,” said Chelsea. “It’s a pre-date meeting, and since she’s meeting someone from online, I think it’s a fucking good idea not to act too sexy.”

Kendra thought for a moment and said, “You’re right. Sorry. You don’t know anything about this guy for sure, do you?”

“Only what he’s told me,” said Elaine. “And what one other person said.”

“One other person?”

“He gave me the number of someone who could vouch for him. I called her.”

“Okay, okay,” Kendra decided. “You look fine then.”

“I agree,” said Chelsea.

“Where are you meeting him?” asked Kendra.

“Mario’s. In an hour!”

Chelsea asked, “Do you want me to do your makeup?”

“Oh, let me!” squealed Kendra.

“Not on your life,” Elaine said to Kendra. Turning to Chelsea, she said, “I’ll be fine. I’m just going to do my eyes and maybe some lippy.”

“Sounds good,” Chelsea said. “I’ll drive you if you want.”

Elaine could hardly believe all the support she was getting, half expecting it all to turn into a joke at any minute. “It’s all right, I feel like walking.”

“Okay,” said Chelsea with a nod, holding Elaine’s gaze. The nod told Elaine that Chelsea remembered their conversation, but Elaine was going to check. She decided to do so after she’d done her makeup. “Go on then. You have shit to do,” said Chelsea, apparently reading her mind.

“I still say she’d look better in a skirt,” said Kendra, crossing her arms.

“Maybe next time,” Elaine said, smiling and heading to her room.

She had to roll the computer chair over and sit sidesaddle in front of the mirror to do her makeup. Working on her eyes first, she applied mascara and light eyeliner. She looked at herself and puckered her lips. Glancing at her hair, she decided on a plan. Elaine picked up her light pink lipstick and applied it. After working a bit of gel into her hair, she dug around in the dresser for her white headband.

Taking one last look, Elaine thought she was ready.

Let’s do this, she said to herself, glancing at the bedside clock. She was right on time.

“Let’s do a shot,” said Kendra, jumping to her feet as Elaine entered the living room, joining her roommates.

“I don’t think so,” Elaine said, checking her watch again. Kendra was heading for the kitchen to get the bottle and glasses anyway. At least it gave Elaine time to talk to Chelsea. “You’ve got my number, right?”

“Welcome. And call if you want to bail on him. You have my number too, right?”

“Yeah, from last night. It’s in my phone. You’ll hear from me if I need you.”

“All right.”

Kendra sat down with the bottle of JD and glasses and set them up. “Just one to settle your nerves, okay?”

“Oh, okay. I’ll still have to brush my teeth anyway.”

“Just one,” echoed Chelsea, picking up her shot glass.

Elaine gave the girls a glance, hesitating before she took her shot. “Are you guys going out? Um, and at what time?” She giggled.

Kendra and Chelsea looked at each other. Chelsea spoke up. “Not until nine-thirty or so I don’t think.”

“If you’re not back before we leave, I’ll be worried,” said Kendra, taking her shot.

“Agreed,” Elaine said, picking up her glass and toasting. They all banged their glasses on the table at the same time.

For a moment silence reigned.

Finally Elaine spoke up. “Okay. Now I’m scared.”

Chapter 14

Elaine touched up her lipstick and went to the toilet again. She’d eaten little and her stomach warred against her. When she returned, she slid twenty bucks and her front door key into her pocket and stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom, taking a deep breath. Her heart was thumping and she couldn’t stop trembling. Her reflection stared back at her.

I don’t know if I can do this.

The faces of her roommates appeared at her door. “What’s taking so long?” asked Kendra.

“You’re going to be late,” Chelsea warned.

Elaine looked at her watch. “I still have a few minutes.”

“You’re shaking,” Chelsea said. “Are you okay?”

“She’s pale too,” agreed Kendra.

“I’m okay,” Elaine insisted. She looked in the mirror again. She didn’t think she looked pale but she pinched her cheeks anyway.

“C’mon, Elaine,” Kendra said. “It’s just a guy.”

Chelsea tried to be helpful. “It’ll be fun. God, Elaine. You’ll have him eating out of the palm of your hand in no time. Stop worrying. And if he’s a goose, you can bail when I call you. Do you want me to call a bit earlier? I can call at quarter past if you want.”

Elaine swallowed. “Half past is okay. I might not figure him out until then.”

“Elaine,” Kendra said, with her hands on hips. “You don’t need to ‘figure guys out’. All you have to do is decide which head you want them think with.” Elaine’s roommates thought that was hilarious.

Elaine rolled her eyes and looked at the mirror again. “Y… You don’t understand.” She made fists and shook them out, hoping to ease the tension. She took another deep breath.

“We could come if you want,” said Kendra.

“Or arrive five minutes after you… Sit close by…” Chelsea winked.

“I don’t think so,” Elaine mumbled. She glanced at the two girls. They had no idea what she was getting into. To her reflection she said, “I can do this. I want to do this.”

“Go get him, girl,” said Chelsea.

“Yeah. Knock him dead,” agreed Kendra.

It was one of those cosy, late summer days. Thin clouds drifted laconically across the azure sky. Semester was coming to a close and Fall was around the corner. Being a Saturday afternoon, traffic was light. It would thicken later, when the nightclubs started to open. A light breeze blew off the mountains and it had rained a little before sun up, producing freshness in the air that was reminiscent of Spring.

Elaine thought memories were made of days like these. She committed herself to putting one foot after the other and soon enough she’d travelled three of the three and a half blocks. Waiting at the lights, she looked ahead and saw a figure standing outside Mario’s.

Could it be him?

She wanted to walk across the intersection, but she didn’t trust herself. It looked clear. But her head wasn’t. She glanced up and down the road again and thankfully the lights started changing.

I know it’s him.

The male figure up ahead was obviously waiting for someone. For a moment Elaine slowed down, hoping her heart would too. He looked right at her as she got closer, and then looked around, then back again. Then he started staring. The smile that spread across Elaine’s face was unbidden. There was no way to control it. She wanted to be cool. She wanted to be calm. But her heart felt like it was about to leap right out of her chest!

It’s him.

In the shadows of the awning in front of the coffee shop, little about him was discernable from fifty yards. He was tall and wearing a brown leather jacket over a white t-shirt, jeans and runners. Elaine almost giggled with relief. She allowed herself to think that maybe she did know him.

Whoa, girl.

Play it straight.

She bit her lip hard, trying at least to get a grip. It worked a little. As the distance between them diminished, she saw his smile, and it relit hers.

“I’m very glad you could make it,” Gary said as Elaine drew within speaking distance.

His smile was almost mesmerising, but Elaine managed to slow down and stop, instead of walking straight into his arms. Out of reach, she managed to say what she’d been practicing all the way there. “I’m pleased to meet you. I’m Elaine.”

“And I’m Gary. Let’s get a coffee and talk.”

Elaine swallowed and nodded. She could hardly tear her eyes from him, and when she could, she was glad she didn’t need to say anything for a few minutes. Like a gentleman he opened the door to Mario’s and ushered her in before him.

A waitress approached. Briefly glancing at Elaine, she addressed Gary. “How can I help you folks?”

“I rang earlier. A booking in the name of Duke.”

“Yes, Sir. Please follow me.” She glanced at Elaine again and spun on her heels, heading deep into the restaurant. Following the waitress, Elaine thought they were heading toward the undercover area at the rear of the restaurant. Instead they veered through hanging beads and up a staircase that looked like it had been carpeted in the eighties. Elaine had never been into this part of Mario’s before. She didn’t even know it existed!

The stairwell itself was skinny, and Gary fell in behind her. She had the distinct impression he was checking out her ass and she glanced over her shoulder. Sure enough, his eyes were on her butt as she climbed the stairs. She poked her tongue out and grinned, hearing him say, “Feisty,” as she mounted the last of the steps.

At the top, the waitress pointed out the bathrooms then pushed open French doors into the sunshine. “Your table, Sir… and Miss,” she said, her arm out, guiding them in the direction of their destination.

Elaine stepped onto the balcony with Gary right behind her. Another couple were at the other end and Elaine nodded courteously toward them before heading where the waitress had indicated. As if out of nowhere, Gary appeared and held out her chair.

Feeling a little like a princess, Elaine let Gary slide the chair under her. The table itself was draped in white lace and made of wrought iron, matching the comfortably cushioned chairs.

There was a long-stemmed rose on the table in front of her and she stared at it, unsure what to do.

“I thought I’d at least make it memorable,” Gary said, breaking the silence.

Elaine tried to find her voice. “It’s unexpected.” Her eyes met his. This wasn’t going to be easy.

“Pretend it’s not there.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Then pretend it is there.” He picked up the rose and placed it on the far side of the table. For a split second she wanted it. Badly.

The waitress interrupted the exchange, handing them menus. “Will you be eating?”

Gary looked questioningly at Elaine and she blushed, shaking her head. He replied, “No, thank you.”

The waitress promptly picked up the cutlery then with pen at the ready, asked, “What would you folks like today?”

“Two cappuccinos,” Gary decided, watching Elaine. She nodded almost imperceptibly. “White,” he said, and she nodded again. “No su-” Elaine shook her head slowly, enjoying the game. “One with no sugar, one with one.” Elaine grinned. “And cinnamon snaps. Enough for both of us.”

“Yes, Sir,” said the waitress, taking the menus and disappearing.

Elaine smiled at Gary, unsure what to say. He took off his jacket and hung it on the back of his chair, grinning at her. If anything he looked better than his picture, and Elaine could hardly believe she was sitting right in front of him. She had to concentrate on more than how he filled his t-shirt.

“You can almost see my house from here.”

Elaine blinked. “Sorry?”

“Look,” he said, nodding over the balcony. Elaine turned her eyes, and for the first time she noticed the incredible view. From the balcony she could see right over the tops of suburbia, all the way to the blue hills in the distance. “I live at the foot of those hills. Well… Maybe just on the other side.”

Elaine nodded, unable to speak as she stared.

“I’m glad you came. I didn’t give you much time. I was sorry about that for a few minutes, but I’m not any more.”

“I, um,” Elaine began, clearing her throat. “I didn’t take long to decide.”

He grinned. “Will you forgive me?”

Elaine tried to suppress a smile but it didn’t work. “Yes.”

“Good.”

“I hope you drove carefully.” Elaine looked at Gary and immediately knew she’d made a mistake. A quizzical look crossed his face, as if she’d said something strange.

He simply said, “Trust me.”

Elaine wasn’t sure what he was talking about, but almost immediately she had an epiphany.

It doesn’t matter.

She looked into his eyes and for a split second it was all there. Everything she hoped for… everything she’d dreamed. This man was different. “I trust you,” she whispered.

“Not so fast. I just meant about driving.” He grinned. He was having fun.

Elaine returned to the present with a rush. “I…”

“Just relax. Take a few deep, head-clearing breaths.”

Elaine did. She started to feel better just as the waitress returned. “Will there be anything else, Sir? Miss?” Elaine shook her head, her eyes flicking to Gary’s momentarily.

“Everything is fine,” he said. “Thank you.”

“I’ll be back to check on you soon.” With that the waitress disappeared again.

Elaine leaned forward, adding sugar to her coffee and stirring it. She glanced at Gary and he was staring at her. “What?” she asked playfully.

“You don’t want to know,” he replied softly.

Elaine raised an eyebrow and froze like a statue. “I don’t?”

“No… You don’t.” His grin held a fascination of future possibilities. His eyes too told a story. There was something wise about them. “But I can assure you that in the future, you won’t have to wait long to know what’s on my mind.”

Elaine’s cheeks reddened and a ripple of pleasure scorched her skin. She broke his gaze, staring instead at her cup. There was no way she could pick it up. Her hands were shaking too much! She tried sitting up straighter in an attempt to get herself together. She had to open her mouth to stop her breath hissing through her clenched teeth.

Seconds ticked by.

“And I thought I was nervous,” Gary said and winked. “Would you like to talk, or would you rather I did?” he asked.

He sipped his coffee and licked the foam from his top lip. “I was thinking on the way over here… Well, I’ve been thinking a lot for the last week really, but I had some interesting thoughts on the way here…”

Elaine nodded and sipped too, watching Gary’s eyes. She glanced at his lips. God, they were beautiful. They started moving.

“As you know, when we first met I was intrigued by you. Intelligent. Fresh. Innocent. Lots of words come to mind. Did you know that asking questions is one of the most important traits of a new submissive?”

Elaine shook her head.

“It is,” he continued, lowering his voice and leaning closer. “Asking questions gives you the opportunity to listen. Submissives who don’t listen aren’t very good submissives, are they?”

Elaine shook her head again.

“That’s right. But it’s also true to say that Dominants who don’t listen aren’t very good Dominants. From the beginning, I’ve tried to listen very carefully to everything you’ve said. I feel like I know you. The real you. The you inside. And I like you. That’s why I’m here.”

Elaine felt herself blush all over again, this time in pleasure. “I… I’m sorry. I’m not good at this. I haven’t had much practice.”

“Which, to me, means you haven’t learned bad habits.”

“Oh.” She hadn’t thought of it like that.

“Raw clay.”

“Sorry?”

Just then, the waitress arrived, interrupting their conversation. “Excuse me. I’m sorry, but there are two girls downstairs who wanted to track down someone called Elaine. You fit the description, Miss. Is this your phone?” She held out the mobile phone and Elaine laughed nervously and nodded. The waitress glanced at Gary then back to Elaine. “They said they’d call soon.”

“Thank you,” said Elaine, blushing deeply. She took the phone and placed it on the table. Within a minute of the waitress leaving, it rang. “I’ll just get this,” she said to Gary, shaking her head as she picked it up.

Caller ID told her it was Chelsea. “Hey, Chelsea,” she said. Gary just smiled and watched her.

“Oh, thank God you’re okay,” Chelsea gasped. “I rang earlier, you know just in case, and the bloody thing went off in your room, you ditz.”

“So now I’m a ditz?” asked Elaine. She winked at Gary and he chuckled.

He took her wrists, raising her hands to his face and laying them gently on his skin. “Keep your eyes closed. Pretend you are blind.”

Elaine’s heart hammered in her chest as she caressed his face as gently as she could. She trailed her fingertips along his square jaw, on down his neck, feeling the beat of his pulse. He was warm. And masculine. Hard muscle under tight skin. Back up she traversed, tracing his cheekbones, his eyes and eyebrows.

“Mmmmm,” he murmured quietly.

With her fingertips Elaine could feel that his eyes were closed. Down the sides of his nose they trekked, lingering as she enjoyed the smooth, soft feel of his lips.

“All right,” said Gary quietly. “Enough. You can open your eyes now.”

Elaine glowed. “Thank you, Si… Gary.”

He grinned and gazed into her eyes. Again he whispered, “My pleasure.”

She gulped. Each time he said it, her skin prickled with delight. “Please,” her mouth said, before her brain had a chance to stop it. “Do me.”

Gary chuckled. “Would you like to rephrase that?”

“Oh, my God. I… I meant…”

“Shhh… Relax. I’m teasing.”

Elaine’s cheeks were so hot. Her skin tingled in anticipation. Their eyes met again, and this time he closed his. Elaine’s eyes closed too and she tried not to moan as the feeling of his gentle, yet firm hands caressed her face. He investigated every curve and hollow as if trying to remember them. He explored her lips, very slowly brushing across the bottom one with his thumb, barely touching. Elaine couldn’t help herself. She gasped for breath, her mouth opening and her tongue instinctively making contact.

Her eyes shot open and he was staring at her and smiling softly. She swallowed again but it was no use. Her mouth was completely dry. She couldn’t have spoken even if she knew what to say.

“Our time is almost up.”

“We don’t have to stop now. We only just got here.”

“The coffee is cold, Elaine. Look at your watch.”

It was almost four P.M. “I can’t believe it…”

He smiled again. “We should always stick to our plans. Besides, I have things to do at home.”

“Oh, yes. I’m sorry. I…”

“C’mon, I’ll walk you to the door and let your roommates satisfy their curiosity.”

“They’re gonna flip.”

Gary tilted his head, as though he had no idea what Elaine was talking about. “What do they know about me?”

“This is yours too,” said Gary, holding out the single rose. “If you’d like it.”

“Yes! I mean, yes. Please. Thank you, Sir. I mean Gary.” Elaine giggled. “This went well, didn’t it?” she laughed and rolled her eyes. Gratefully she took the rose and climbed unsteadily to her feet, adjusting her jeans. She leaned on the table.

“Are you okay?” Gary asked.

“Yes. I’m… fine. I shouldn’t tell you how turned on I am, should I?”

Gary shook his head and smiled. “No. You shouldn’t.” He winked boyishly and Elaine’s knees trembled but held. He said, “I’ll go first down those stairs.”

“Thanks.” Elaine picked up her phone and slipped it into her pocket.

“Yeah, don’t forget that.”

Elaine laughed easily. At the top of the stairs Gary took a step and looked back at her. “Hold my shoulder. I don’t want you falling.”

Stepping in behind him, Elaine’s scanned his broad back. He was carrying his folded jacket in one hand and there was nothing but a thin white t-shirt between his skin and Elaine’s fingers. She slipped them around his shoulder, the muscle hard and hot and alive. She was holding the stem of the rose in her other hand and she was sure thorns were piercing her skin, but she couldn’t even feel it.

“I’m paying. Don’t complain,” Gary said softly when they reached the foot of the stairs.

“Thank you.” Elaine slipped her hand around Gary’s bicep as they stood at the register taking care of things. She searched out her roommates and found them sitting by the window. Chelsea made eyes and Kendra shook her hand like she’d burnt it. Elaine hushed them and looked up at Gary. He’d caught the exchange and Elaine blushed even more.

Gary leaned down and breathed in her ear. “I’m not going to kiss you on the mouth, so don’t expect it.”

She nodded, unsure whether she was relieved or disappointed.

He led her to the front door of the coffee shop. Glancing at her roommates, Elaine had to try hard not to laugh. Both of them were staring at Gary with their mouths open as they passed by. Elaine glanced up at him but he hadn’t even looked at them.

He held open the front door so she could step outside. He joined her and held her gently by the shoulders, smiling down on her. “Would you like a hug?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

Gary wrapped his arms around Elaine and all kinds of emotions crashed through her. Being careful with the rose, she held his waist and bathed in his scent, turning her head, resting her cheek against his chest. His hands ran slowly up and down her back. It seemed to go on and on forever and it felt like heaven.

Elaine felt playful and light-headed. “Just your year?” She took a step back and pouted like an overpaid actress.

Gary chuckled. “Don’t get cocky.”

“What if I want to get cocky?” She glanced ‘down below’ and surprised the life out of herself by noticing the distinct outline of his thick cock in his jeans. She could hardly tear her eyes from it. She gulped and looked up at him. He was posing with a fist on his hip, the other hand hanging loosely, holding his jacket.

“See something you like?” he teased.

“No! I mean… I’m not saying anything!” Elaine giggled and covered her mouth, glancing at the window of Mario’s. The windows were tinted and from the outside one couldn’t see in. She suddenly felt like she was naked.

Gary folded his jacket over his arm, covering his crotch. “Is that better?”

Elaine was feeling mischievous. “I don’t know about better.”

“Stop it. You’re making it worse. I have to go.”

Elaine didn’t know what came over her, but she found enough courage to step closer and look up at him, their mouths inches apart. “Thank you for meeting me,” she whispered, their bodies almost touching.

Gary’s smile morphed into an intense stare that captured Elaine like a fly in a web.

In the blink of an eye, butterflies attacked. Her chest strained for air as larger and larger breaths were needed to stay ahead of the surging adrenaline. She couldn’t move, and she couldn’t look away. As soon as she squeezed her thighs together, her pussy clenched hard, then spasmed in cruel flutters across the surfaces of her slick inner membranes, sending hot blood throbbing into her clit.

“I have to go, now,” Gary hissed through clenched teeth, breaking the moment into a million pieces and turning on his heel. In moments he was walking away from her and Elaine gasped, watching him, hoping and praying he’d look back.

Just before he rounded the block, he stopped and looked back at her.

He smiled and then he was gone.

“Oh. My. God!” It was Kendra, bouncing out of the café, side by side with Chelsea.

Chelsea had to get in on the act. “He IS a fucking God!”

“Jesus, Elaine! Are there any more like him at home? I’ll take a dozen!” Kendra shrieked.

Chelsea and Kendra looked at each other then burst out laughing. “You’re nuts,” said Kendra, threading her arm through Elaine’s.

“Yeah. Certifiable,” said Chelsea, taking Elaine’s other arm and heading for home.

“Totally,” agreed Elaine.

*************************

Opening a new email, Elaine stared at it as though it would write itself. Nothing came to her. Nothing needed to be said. She attached her BDSM checklist to it and typed in Gary’s address. Reluctant to press ‘send’, she stared at the screen.

Glancing at the single, long-stemmed rose in the slim glass vase beside the computer, her skin flushed, fingers suspended over the keyboard. She was about to share her sexual and BDSM preferences with him. She took a deep breath.

He’ll know what turns me on… He’ll know what I want… And he’ll know how far I’m willing to go…

She swallowed.

This is SCARY.

He’s going to know what makes me tick… He’s going to know everything…

Everything…

Another part of her psyche intervened.

If he doesn’t know the truth, then you won’t connect.

It’s as simple as that.

You have to risk it.

Elaine clicked ‘send’.

She stared at the screen.

Shit!

Chapter 15

“I still can’t believe he was so cute,” said Kendra.

“‘Cute’ is so not how I’d describe him,” said Chelsea. “He wasn’t a boy, he was a man.”

“You guys,” Elaine said, shaking her head. She was enjoying the banter more than she thought she would. She hadn’t been able to talk about much on the walk home, and even now a couple of hours later, the whole thing seemed a blur. The three of them had demolished Chelsea’s delicious risotto in silence, and were sitting around the kitchen table, sipping glasses of wine and rubbing their full tummies.

“Well! It’s not like you get dates all the time,” said Kendra, stating the obvious. “Jeez, Elaine, how did you do it? Hang on, where did you meet him again? Maybe I’ve been looking in the wrong places.”

“Don’t you have dates all this week?” asked Elaine, winking at Chelsea.

As strange as it seemed, Elaine thought her relationship with the girls was changing. They appeared to respect her ability to attract a decent male, which didn’t sit well with her. She thought it was a bit shallow. On the other hand, she didn’t need to be Einstein to hold a conversation with them, which was nice at times. She wished she could be more open. Certainly not to the point of admitting the nature of the relationship she and Gary were nurturing, but she could do with the girls’ advice, at least in sexual matters. In any case, it was nice that they were chatting without the antagonistic undertones. And the teasing of the last week appeared to have all but stopped.

“When are you seeing him again?” asked Chelsea.

“I’m going to talk to him online tonight,” replied Elaine. “I’ll just play it by ear.”

Kendra asked, “How can you be so cool about it? I’d be creaming my jeans.”

“Note: I’ve already changed.” Elaine blushed but the comment wasn’t missed. Both of the girls cracked up and Elaine giggled too. “The next date will be much more… serious.”

Chelsea was watching Elaine carefully as she said, “I don’t think this is the kind of thing where that makes much difference.”

Elaine blushed but held her tongue. Kendra couldn’t help herself, asking, “What are you talking about? Since when does not looking good count for anything? God, I thought she almost blew it with what she wore today.”

“Hey!” said Elaine.

“She looked fine,” said Chelsea. “Relaxed and in her zone. I dunno. I get the feeling this whole thing is more controlled than Elaine is letting on. The chances of meeting the right guy, first time, on the ‘net, have got to be slim.”

“Controlled? What the hell do you mean?” asked Kendra.

“You tell us, Elaine.” Chelsea was staring, like she already knew the answer.

Elaine looked at each of her roommates. They were both waiting for her response. “It was a pre-date meeting. It’s um, it’s not unusual in these circumstances. I just got lucky.”

“Elaine,” said Chelsea. “I hope you’re not setting yourself up for a fall. Stand your ground, or you’re going to be walked all over.”

“Huh?” said Kendra.

“I’ll stand my ground,” said Elaine, meeting Chelsea’s gaze.

Chelsea picked up the wine bottle and topped up their glasses. “Well, if you need any moral support, I know Kendra and I haven’t exactly been helpful. But we’re here if you need us.”

Elaine and Chelsea looked at each other and fell about laughing. Kendra laughed liked she’d been waiting to use that one for years. Unfortunately she knocked over her glass in her amusement.

Chelsea jumped to her feet as wine went everywhere. “Shit, Kendra!”

“Sorry!”

Elaine rushed for the sponge to catch the dripping wine as Chelsea complained about the big wet stain on her skirt. Without further notice she dropped the garment at her feet and stepped out of it. She was wearing a white thong and Elaine thought it was almost see-through. She also thought she gawked for a second too long.

Chelsea mimicked Gary’s stance outside Mario’s almost exactly. With a hand on her cocked hip and her wet skirt in her hand, she asked, “Are you okay, Elaine?”

Elaine blinked. She was pretty sure it was a coincidence. “Yeah. I’m fine. And um,” she said, glancing into Chelsea’s blue eyes, “Thanks for the concern.”

Chelsea started swinging the skirt on her finger. “No problem. You’re ripe. Just don’t be a pushover.”

“Ripe?” asked Kendra, taking the words out of Elaine’s mouth.

“Yeah,” answered Chelsea. “Like ‘overdue’.”

“Oh, shit. I agree with that. Elaine, you’d be crazy not to be keen. Be careful, hun.”

‘Hun’? Elaine didn’t think Kendra had ever called her that before. “I’ll be okay,” she said, squeezing out the sponge and putting it away. The whole conversation would have been ludicrous if she hadn’t been constantly wet and unable to think straight since she’d met Gary. Maybe Chelsea was right. Somewhat uncertainly, she added, “I think.”

“Keep us informed,” Chelsea said, heading for the bathroom. “I’m going for a shower.”

Elaine nodded and sipped her wine. Remembering she’d sent Gary her checklist, she glanced at her watch.

“I’m glad I didn’t break this glass,” said Kendra, shrugging and refilling it.

***************************

Elaine sat in front of the computer and sighed. No email, no Gary. She opened a couple of assignments from school but she couldn’t concentrate on them. Castlerealm at least held her attention. She read a few articles and thought of some questions. Time flew and before long the girls knocked on her door. Elaine quickly sent the page she was reading to the back, behind an assignment.

“We’re going now,” said Kendra.

Chelsea took an extra step inside Elaine’s room and glanced at the screen. “Spoken to him yet?”

“Not yet,” replied Elaine. “I’ll let you know. Have a good time.”

“We will,” said Kendra. “You could always come with us.”

“Maybe next time. I told him I’d be here.”

“We’re going to have a drink at the Rat first if you change your mind,” said Chelsea. “We’ll either be there or at Spotlight later.”

“Okay.”

“Byeeee!” chimed the girls.

Ten minutes after they’d left, Elaine got up and switched on the bedside lamp. Then she turned off the overhead light and locked her door. She felt safer if she had nochance of being interrupted. After turning her music up a little, she shucked her clothes and glanced at the computer screen.

Her body was directing her thoughts. That was the only way she could justify what she did next. From her wardrobe she retrieved her toys and laid them out on the bed and sat beside them. Opening her bedside drawer, she took out the tube of lubricant. Her cheeks were burning.

I’ve read stories where girls walk around with butt plugs in their asses to train them for anal sex. Maybe I should do the same.

Just in case.

She stood in the centre of her room and lubed the butt plug in her hand. Bending forward a little, she gritted her teeth as it spread her delicate membranes a bit too fast. She stamped her foot. “Nggggg…”

“God… That stings!” Gingerly standing upright, she gathered some more lube on her fingertip and reached behind herself, spreading it around as best she could. Catching her breath, she stood still as the pain faded.

Then the computer beeped.

She shook her head and laughed softly. Sitting on the towel she’d thoughtfully folded and placed on her chair earlier, she was thankful the pain didn’t return. “Hello, Sir. I mean Gary.” She sent a smile.

“Hello, Elaine,” he sent back.

“You um, you caught me at a bad moment.” She wasn’t really going to tell him she had her plug in, was she?

“Do you need some time?” he asked. “What’s happened? Are you all right?”

“Yes,” she typed. “I’m fine. I’m just… I’m just getting used to a butt plug.” She sent a blushing face.

“You have a butt plug in your ass?”

“Yes!”

“What the hell for?”

“Um… it seemed like a good idea at the time?”

“Chuckles.”

“Blushes.”

“You are full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“Blushes harder.” Elaine swallowed. She wished she knew what he was thinking.

He obliged her. “I love how you blush.”

“Thank you. I think.”

“I had a wonderful time today.”

“So did I.” Elaine wanted to say more, but didn’t want to scare him away.

“Try to keep your knees an inch apart for me, okay? I want your full attention this evening.”

How did he know I was pressing them together?

“Yes, Sir.”

“I enjoyed spending time looking over your checklist tonight. Thank you for sending it. I printed it out and made some notes.”

“Bites my lip.”

He sent a reassuring smile. “Very interesting reading. You’ve thought a bit about what you want, haven’t you?”

“Yes.”

“You must have a fertile imagination.”

“I’ve read a lot of stories. They’ve helped shaped what I see in my mind.”

“Ah, yes. The stories.”

“I especially liked the one you wrote about the girl tied up and flogged. She had toys used on her while she tried not to cum. Forcing her to cum like that was mean, but I loved it.”

“I’m going to have fun with you, aren’t I?”

“Blushes more.”

“Smiles.”

“I, um,” Elaine said, feeling a bit out of her depth. “I got sick of writing, ‘No’, in the ‘Experienced?’ column.”

“To me, your inexperience is balanced out by your desire to explore. I’m looking forward to showing you many things. That idea in itself is very pleasant.” He winked.

Elaine smiled and tried to breathe. “Sometimes I wish I was more experienced.”

“Everyone has to start somewhere. You can rest assured that our desires and wants are very similar.”

“That’s a big relief, Sir.”

“Let’s talk specifics…”

As the minutes passed, Elaine relaxed, notwithstanding the butt plug in her ass. She even forgot about it for a while. For the next hour, Elaine and Gary meticulously went through the checklist, discussing the various items while Gary made suggestions of possible scenarios to gauge Elaine’s reaction and to fine-tune his plans. “Do you want to take a break?” he asked as they neared the end.

“Yes please, Sir. I’m getting… uncomfortable.”

“Cramps?”

“Kind of. May I, um…”

“Spit it out, Elaine.”

“May I remove the plug and clean up please, Sir?” She sent a blushing face.

“You may. And when we’ve finished this, I’d like to know what other toys you have.”

Elaine bit her lip. “Yes, Sir. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” He sent a smile.

Elaine returned from the bathroom in a much better mood. Her body tingled all over and her mind was at ease. Her poor pussy was now the only part of her body protesting. It wanted action! And it wanted it now! She tried to ignore it. “I’m back, Sir.”

“Welcome back.”

“Thank you.”

“Feeling better?”

“Oh yes.” She sent another blushing face.

“Good. I thought of something while you were gone. Have you ever kept a diary?”

“Not since I was a little girl.”

“I think it could be very useful. It’s called a journal, and I’d like you to start one tomorrow. The idea is to help both you and I to know what is happening in your head, so I can address your most immediate concerns etc. Do you understand the concept of openness?”

“To tell the truth all the time.”

“That’s half of it. The other half is to fill in the blanks by volunteering information your Dominant might find useful. It’s confessing the whole truth. Not just the truth that is dragged out of you.” He winked.

“Sometimes the truth is embarrassing.”

“Elaine,” he typed. “Your journal will just be between you and me. You’ve been incredibly brave so far. Don’t lose your nerve.”

She squirmed. “Yes, Sir. I’ll look up some examples on the net and start one tomorrow.”

“Good girl. Being truly honest is not easy. But I promise you, in time, it gets easier. If you have any questions getting started, email me. I’ll discuss each entry with you and shape your journal to what I want, okay? Don’t worry about ‘making mistakes’.”

“Okay.” Elaine glanced down and found her knees locked tightly together and felt herself squeezing inside. Her chest shuddered as she tried to breathe, her rock-hard nipples quivering as her breasts trembled. As the heat rose in her cheeks all over again, she prised her knees apart. She had to concentrate.

Gary was typing again. “Elaine, it’s occurred to me on occasions during our chats, to call you something other than ‘Elaine’. I like your name. It’s strong when said firmly, and flows like silk when whispered. But sometimes I would like to call you something more gentle, or more intimate. Like ‘sweetheart’. Or ‘little one’. I think ‘little one’ is particularly appropriate.” He sent a smile.

“Sir, you may call me what you wish.” She bit her lip, wondering if he would get her meaning.

“Elaine,” he said, taking a moment. He nailed her in a second. “Allowing me to call you whatever I like is very open-ended. I might choose anything.”

She wasn’t sure where her courage came from, but she typed, “I know. And I will stare into your eyes, no matter what you call me.”

Again a moment passed. “I will hold you to that.”

Elaine’s nipples pounded unmercifully. She reached up, intent on pinching them tightly to alleviate the pressure. Stopping herself, she bit her lip and wondered if she dared. She held her breath as she brought her hands back to the keyboard and typed. “May I have my clamps, please Sir?”

“You have nipple clamps?”

“Yes!” she replied. “I mean, yes, Sir.” Air whooshed into her lungs as she breathed quickly. The fine hairs on her arms stood up and fresh tingles washed over her skin.

“Elaine, am I imagining it, or are we crossing a line here?”

She blinked and wondered what she was doing! Shaking her head, she sat up straighter and tried to get a hold of herself. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“For getting carried away…”

“For asking me if you could use your clamps?”

“Well, yes. And for saying you could call me anything. I was leading you and tempting you and I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m very excited, Sir. It’s been an amazing day. And…” Elaine swallowed. Her mouth was dry and her hands started shaking. She remembered the same shivers going through her while standing outside Mario’s, feeling Gary’s cock pressed against her stomach. She had to tell him the truth. She had to do this right!

“And I’m sorry because I forgot to keep my knees apart after you told me to.”

Seconds ticked by. Elaine could hear herself breathing. She didn’t want to blink, in case she missed something. Her hands trembled more and more the longer she waited for him to respond.

Oh, no! What have I done!

“All right,” he responded at last. “We need to clarify some things.”

“Yes, Sir.”

No! No! No! No! I’ve fucked everything up! I just know it!

She was on the verge of tears. She dreaded what he might say. Her imagination was spinning wildly out of control.

“Elaine, I didn’t order you to keep your knees apart. You are not in trouble. Let’s get that clear first.”

She gulped. “Okay.”

“I suggested you do so, in order to concentrate.”

She licked her lips. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“I think you’re just horny.”

She giggled. “I think you’re right.”

He sent a smile. “I want you to listen to me.”

She swallowed as the nerves hit her again. “Yes, Sir.”

“If we are going to become sexual, I’d like to do so in person rather than over the net. The idea of telling you what to do and imagining you doing it is very tempting, but I can tell you from experience that it doesn’t hold a candle to real life. What I can do to you is a raging fire by comparison. I want you to allow your imagination to wander. I like the idea of you caressing yourself as you sit in front of your computer, talking to me. But I’m not going to cyber with you. Not when the real thing is just around the corner.”

“Just relax for a moment. How about taking a walk around the apartment? Take a couple of minutes.”

“But I’m naked!”

“Shakes head.”

“Giggles.”

“It’s so tempting to tell you what to do, little one.” He sent a grin.

“I can hardly wait, Sir.” Elaine sent back a big toothy one.

“Well, you are going to have to wait. I mean I might slip and give you a suggestion or three,” he said, sending another smile. “But submitting to my will is a very big step, and shouldn’t be taken lightly.”

She reread his words three times, then pondered her response before typing. “I understand. And I apologise for assuming. All I can say in my defence is that I am so ridiculously turned on that I’m not thinking straight.”

“I am on your wavelength, little one.” He winked. “If I asked you to come for the weekend, would next weekend be too soon?”

Elaine couldn’t believe her eyes. “I’d be submitting to you if I did, wouldn’t I?”

“You would have to say so explicitly, but yes, that is my wish, Elaine.”

Her hands were suddenly wracked with nerves and she had little control over her fingers. “Jkust amninitue pleaase.”

“Chuckles. Breathe, Elaine. Breathe. Take that minute.”

“Thjankjs.”

Elaine stood up and almost fell back into her chair her knees were so weak. Averting her eyes from her toys on the bed, she crossed her arms tightly, her chest heaving as she headed to the kitchen for a glass of water. She opened her door and listened for her roommates. The coast was clear. She felt like nervous laughter was welling up in her chest. She was tingling all over.

I have to know. This is the man who will show me. Safely. I’ll be okay…

Sitting back down and placing the glass next to the computer, Elaine pulled in her chair and took a sip. Then she took a deep breath and typed, “I’m back. Sorry about that. I just got really nervous.”

“That’s understandable.”

“I want to do this. And yes,” she said, swallowing nervously. “I want to come next weekend.”

“I’ll take you home whenever you request it. I promise you that.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you know anything about ‘contracts’ in D/s?”

“Only that they exist. I haven’t looked over any of the samples. I was going to though.”

“Good girl. Could you do that for me?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“I don’t know what they have on the net, but I will provide one that we will sign. To me, it is both ceremonial and a necessary statement of our commitments. It will not be binding for any longer than the weekend. If things go well and we commence a relationship, we will sign another contract. Are you following me so far?”

“Yes, I am. And thank you for taking care of me.”

“My pleasure.”

Elaine stared at the words. They never failed to touch something deep inside her. She loved reading them, but he was right. Hearing them was so much better. Reality set in. “Please don’t be too rough with me.”

“I have no intention of being rough with you, little one. I have definite plans, and they do not include anything that might scare you away. Um,” he hesitated. “You probably have a dildo if you have nipple clamps.”

Elaine felt the heat rising in her cheeks again. “I do.”

“Good. How big is it?”

“About six inches long and an inch across.”

“LOL.”

“Whaaaat?”

“You didn’t take long to answer. It was funny.” He sent a smile.

“I measured it.” She sent a grin back.

“Okay. Hopefully it won’t be too uncomfortable accommodating me.”

She remembered the lump in his pants and stopped herself from asking him the obvious question. Instead she typed, “Me too!”

“Okay.” Elaine wondered what he might say. This night, this whole day, was turning out better than she ever imagined. Gary always seemed one step ahead of her, and it wasn’t scary. It was comforting.

“Be careful with how much information you share about ‘us’. I’ve seen terrible results when people, in their blissful discovery of the lifestyle, share their passion with their vanilla friends, or their parents or siblings and have whole relationships ruined. Many people simply cannot understand what it is that drives us. They are not wired the same way. They think there is something wrong with us because we are not like them. They will fear for you and quite possibly think you are in need of psychological intervention. Either that or they’ll think you are fair game. Some people really don’t get it. And you can’t control whom they might tell. I’m serious. Be very careful. It’s best to find a subbie friend, either online or preferably in real life, who you can talk to about lifestyle issues. I do not mean for this warning to extend any further than your SM toys and your interest in the lifestyle. You can tell anyone anything else about me that you like.” He smiled.

“Including your address?”

“Yes. But only to check up on me.”

“And phone number?”

“Absolutely. And I’ll expect you to call too, so you know you have the right number. And bring your cell.”

“Okay. Anything else?”

“Maybe a long sweater in case it gets cold. And clothes for riding. Those jeans would do, except they might split up the middle.”

“I have another pair that aren’t so tight.”

“To be honest, I’d rather you brought the ones you wore. You looked so good.”

Elaine nearly cried. “Thank you.”

“Do you ride?”

“I did when I was a kid. I’ll be rusty.”

“We’ll take it easy. I’ll just show you around.”

“That would be great. And Sir?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for the warning. I’ve been thinking along the same lines. For one fleeting moment I did consider telling my roommates. I decided against it pretty quickly. I’m not sure what’s going on with them. They’re being really nice to me since last week, particularly so after seeing you I might add.”

“Smiles. They look like children next to you, Elaine.”

She smiled, understanding the metaphor. But she wanted to hear his thoughts. So she asked. “Could you explain that to me, Sir? I like listening to you.”

“Sure. To me, admittedly as a man, what is important is that a woman should know what she wants, and should be comfortable with admitting it to her trusted partner, no matter what it is. From what you’ve told me, girls like your roommates strike me as concerned more with what they look like in comparison to others, and whom they are seen with. Things like that. Without even knowing it, they’ve succumbed to the male dominated society, yet they’ll pay lip service to being ‘an independent woman’.”

“I think submission is the perfect expression of liberation. You are not forced or coerced in any way. You choose. That’s what your sisters wanted: the right to bewho they chose, and to be respected for their choices, no matter what.”

“That strikes a chord with me.”

“Good.”

“Smiles softly.” Another thought occurred to Elaine. “Sir, may I ask another philosophical question?”

“Jeez. You’re the philosopher, little one. Not me. But sure.” He sent a smile.

“Thank you. I probably should know the answers to these questions, but I so enjoy listening to how you think. Okay, now I’m brown-nosing.” She sent a tongue poking out.

“Ask your damned question, wench.” He winked and Elaine giggled.

“Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.” She sent a grin. “I wanted to know how you think about D/s. Is it an artificial reality, or a different reality?”

“Hmmmm… It’s a part of reality that not everyone sees… or an extension to yourreality that only you can experience. I’m not sure. I’ll have to think about that one. The short answer is, it’s not an artificial reality. It’s real all right. There’s a whole community out there, just waiting for you.”

“That makes me smile.”

“Good.”

“I can’t wait to see you again, Sir.”

“That pleases me. All right, come on. Let’s finish this list, then you can go masturbate.” He winked.

“Blushes!”

Chapter 16

When Elaine woke the next morning, she was shocked. Her bed sheet was wound around one of her ankles and she was sprawled sideways across her bed, completely naked. She was laying in a wet patch the size of Kansas and she ached all over. She made herself a promise.

Never again would she challenge herself to ‘see how many times she could cum’. After four or five she’d lost count and could only estimate that it was the sixth or seventh that had knocked her into unconsciousness. Sitting up, she adjusted the pillows and got comfortable, glancing at her door. Thank God it was still locked. She’d strip the bed and organise her laundry soon.

She was pleased about one thing. Although her grip was tenuous, she imagined it was getting easier to control the force of her orgasms. As long as she didn’t completely let go, then she might be okay. Which was almost impossible after five or six exhausting ones, she thought, smiling to herself. She still believed that Gary, or any man for that matter, would find her less desirable if she couldn’t control herself.

After all, self-control is important, right? What if he tells me not to cum and I can’t do it?

Maybe she had to practice, but she wasn’t sure if she’d have time. Gary had said what he could do in person was ‘a raging fire’ compared to online. She didn’t doubt it. Her skin flushed. Controlling herself wasn’t going to be easy.

Her mind wandered as her imagination took over. The prospect of spending a weekend with Gary was incredibly exciting. And scary. But Elaine was thankful he had reassured her about how rough he’d be. At least she was confident that HEcould remain in control.

She decided she had to get moving if she was going to get her laundry done then spend some time studying today. And she had her journal to complete.

Looking down, she was surprised to see she was lightly caressing a swollen nipple.

I think I’m turning into a nympho.

**************************

Water dripped from Elaine’s hair and trickled down her body unnoticed. After stepping out of the shower, she briefly dried herself before being distracted by her reflection. In less than a moment, she was deep in thought.

I’m going to HAVE to let go. I hope it’s okay. I’m not going to be able to control myself. Not for every moment. I am going to need direction. He’ll take care of me. He said he would. I should warn him. It’s too embarrassing. I’m going to be naked before him. God. That’s embarrassing enough just by itself. I hope he doesn’t hate me. Maybe he’ll think I’m too weird. Or too out of control. Or too uptight.

God, I have to let go. I have to let him do what he wants. He has my checklist. He said he was planning ahead. He knows what I THINK I want. And he has his own ideas. He promised he wouldn’t be rough. He could probably be a little rough. As… as long as he starts gently. As long as he’s conscious of my needs. As long as he’s in control of the tempo and doesn’t rush me.

I don’t know… I just don’t know how much I can take… how much I can handle. God. I need a safe word… and I need a promise from him to honour it…

I need… I need…

Elaine’s eyes sprang open when she realised what she was doing. Seeing herself in the mirror sucking on her juicy fingers was a bit of a shock. Pins and needles ran rampant across her skin, raising goose flesh and puckering her nipples into a throbbing mess.

“Jesus,” she whispered. She wanted to wipe her hand. Without thinking, she picked up the towel she’d placed on the floor. Her toys fell from it and rolled across the tiles and she almost laughed out loud. Quickly drying her fingers, she gathered her toys together and set about washing them.

That’s mom talking. She’d be REAL pleased with her little girl right about now.

Elaine could feel the heat rising in her cheeks just as she could feel her pussy, hot and throbbing.

I’m past pleasing my parents for its own sake. I’m past pleasing ANYONE for that. I want to be pleasing because it makes ME feel good.

She glanced in the mirror again as she dried the last toy. She wrapped them up in the spare towel then finished drying herself with the other one.

It’ll work out. Gary will take care of me. I trust him. I just have to remember that.

**************************

It was almost lunchtime. Elaine had been folding her clothes after washing and drying them and putting aside her ironing. Fortunately there was little to iron this week and she was going to do it that afternoon. She decided to do her journal, but first she wanted to check her email in case Gary had written to her. Of course she also checked if he was online, but he wasn’t.

He had written to her though. In his note he asked her to answer a question she’d asked herself that very morning, almost like he’d read her mind. Again. ‘I want you to think about what it is you ‘need’?’ he’d asked. ‘Then write and let me know.’

Immediately she remembered reading a paper about ‘the care and feeding of a submissive’ almost a week earlier. It was on Castlerealm and she navigated her way right to it, sighing with relief.

Reading the article a second time was like a wake up call. The very first heading was ‘I need to be accepted for who I am’.

It took Elaine almost two hours to type out her answer to Gary’s question. Most of the first half hour was spent staring at the screen. In her own mind she was trying to justify her need for self-control, while the words in the article haunted her. Tossing ideas back and forth, eventually she came to a somewhat surprising conclusion.

‘My need for self-control is the result of a fear of non-acceptance.’

Being accepted ‘as she was’ would greatly reduce her concern. The words began to flow as she wrote about her need to be allowed to be who she was. She hoped Gary was the kind of guy who could handle her insecurities. She then wrote about her need to feel safe in his company, and her need to learn. Not only from her mistakes, but from his example.

She swallowed as she imagined lying over his lap to be spanked. Her hands shook as she admitted to feeling a strong need to be guided, and if necessary, punished. She didn’t want to be punished. But she felt she needed to know that he wouldpunish her, if he felt it were necessary. She also felt a strong need to be forgiven for her errors once corrected. She didn’t need snide comments or to be reminded of things she’d done wrong when she’d learnt the lesson. Elaine thought it would insult her intelligence, but she didn’t write that. She knew Gary was smart enough to understand her meaning.

To finish with, she talked about her need for consistency in his treatment of her, and of course, her need for honesty and open lines of communication. Elaine was concerned that parts of what she had written may have sounded plagiarised, so she added the address of the article she had read before clicking ‘send’.

All afternoon questions bounced around inside Elaine’s head. She’d never really given much thought to what she ‘needed’. In the past she had figured that when she found someone who could provide it, she’d know what it was.

Despite regularly checking her mail, she hadn’t had a reply from Gary. She didn’t like the feeling of being tied to the computer, but as he was yet to share his phone number, she had no other way of contacting him. Realising she wouldn’t have called anyway just made the idea of waiting by the computer all the more silly.

She was just finishing her ironing when she remembered Gary had asked her to begin her journal.

In the cold light of day, a blank page of Word felt like a bottomless pit. At least once she got started, it wasn’t too bad. She Googled ‘BDSM’ and ‘journal’ and found a few good examples. It didn’t take too long to note what had happened over the previous twenty-four hours, but it took much longer to write out how she felt about it all. She hoped he’d be pleased with her efforts.

By that time she’d spent most of the day on ‘herself’ and not studied at all. But when her roommates had asked her to go with them to the Rat, she decided to accept. She’d been postponing going out with them a lot lately and thought maybe a dance or two and a few drinks would be fun. They’d insisted the band was ‘awesome’ and it wouldn’t be too crowded. Besides, she’d done her chores and was determined not to sit in front of the computer all day.

They’d lied through their teeth of course. Not about the band. They were great. Unfortunately every student on campus seemed to know it and had also turned up. People hardly had room to move and the dance floor was crazy but Elaine had sucha good time. She’d only had three drinks, but she relaxed and enjoyed the atmosphere. She’d even laughed off the couple of gropes she’d had to endure.

The girls were heading to Spotlight, again, but Elaine had insisted she couldn’t go. She had a full day of classes coming up and couldn’t afford to miss any. Not only that, but she couldn’t justify going out when she had a bunch of assignments due in the next few weeks. Besides, she had bigger fish to fry. Despite the girls’ protests, she’d walked back to the apartment alone as the sun was going down.

Stumbling up the staircase outside their apartment caused Elaine to giggle a couple of times. She’d never been great with alcohol. Because of her state, she’d easily talked herself out of studying, instead promising herself she’d catch up during the week. If she were going to spend the weekend at Gary’s, she’d have to look at her schedule and find out what was due and when. She was confident she could do it.

So confident in fact, that instead of coffee, she poured herself half a glass of wine before getting changed and settling in front of the computer. She decided to read her mail before logging onto messenger.

Gary had responded. He said he was very pleased with her considered reply to his question about her needs. He was glad she had researched the topic and her answers had provided him with food for thought. He also said he liked her journal and was glad she enjoyed their meeting the previous day as much as he had. He added that they would talk further when she arrived on messenger.

Taking a deep breath, she logged in.

Gary was ‘there’, but his computer was set to ‘away’. Elaine sighed as she waited impatiently. The butterflies had already started and her heart was pounding. She licked her lips and swallowed.

Why do I always get like this?

After only a few minutes, the away setting disappeared and “Hello, Elaine” popped up on her screen.

“Hello, Gary,” she typed, sending a smile. Relief flooded her veins. She was hot already.

“It’s nice to see you.” He sent a smile back.

“You too.” Elaine wanted to send a blushing face, but she stopped herself. She crossed her legs and it felt delicious.

“The horses are all fed. No more distractions.”

Elaine bit her lip. “I should warn you that I’ve had a couple of drinks, Sir. I went out to the college bar this afternoon with my roommates.”

“Thank you for telling me. I’ll keep it in mind.”

“Thank you.”

“Did you have fun?”

“The band was good. It was very crowded and noisy though. Being surrounded by hordes of college students doing their best to get plastered before seven P.M. isn’t exactly my scene.”

“What is ‘your scene’?”

Elaine blinked. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I haven’t really found much of a ‘scene’ that suits me. I’ve always felt kind of different and a bit isolated in college. My best friends are still the ones I had in high school. My phone bill is horrendous.”

“Can you explain what you mean when you say you’ve ‘always felt kind of different’?” He sent a smile.

Elaine was glad for the smile. She thought about his question for a moment then typed, “I just meant that I don’t see myself as a hunter of men or a gatherer of experiences like most other girls. I’ve always justified my inertia by convincing myself that I’m waiting for the right guy to come along. But I know it’s not really that. God, I can’t even ask a guy a question without blushing. Even if other girls haven’t got it right, they seem to be getting on in life and aren’t suffering some kind of handicap because of the way they see things. Then again, I feel like I ‘have it right’, and yet I’m the one who is socially inept. I feel awkward around men. Inexperienced. Maybe even a bit naïve.” Elaine took a breath. “I’m blabbering aren’t I?”

“You are fascinating.”

“Why?” Elaine was glad she could slip in a question and take the spotlight off herself.

“I think because you are bursting with potential.” He sent a smile. “But like you said, you’ve constrained yourself. Are you afraid of being hurt?”

“Emotionally?”

“Yes.”

She took another deep breath. “I’m afraid of being rejected.”

“You are beautiful, Elaine. Anyone who rejected you would have rocks in their head.”

“It’s only skin deep.”

“I wasn’t referring to your good looks. You are intelligent, sensitive and kind. You are a very sweet girl.”

She swallowed and recrossed her legs, sending tingles through her loins. “Thank you.”

“You’ve told me before that you’re not on medication and you rarely do drugs. And while I haven’t seen you naked, I doubt there’s anything wrong with your body.” He sent a wink. “What are you so embarrassed about? What is it that’s holding you back?”

Elaine knew it would come to this. The trouble with Gary’s conversations was that she couldn’t prepare for them. He was constantly surprising her with his perceptiveness. It was time to confess. “I get very um, wet. Down there.”

“Where? Your feet? You have sweaty feet? Okay, that’s it. Let’s call the whole thing off.” He sent a wink.

“Now you’re teasing me.”

“You’re right.”

Elaine sent a face with its tongue sticking out.

“Aw, c’mon. I think it’s lovely. Like I always said, ‘there’s nothing like a girl with a wet pussy’.”

“Yes.” She sent the blushing little computer face. It wasn’t half as red as hers. And her mouth was completely dry.

Seconds passed and she’d begun shaking before Gary started typing. “I’ve heard of that. Never thought I’d get to see it though. That’s great!”

Elaine could hardly breathe. It’s okay? “It can be really messy.” She sent another blushing face.

“You’ll be cleaning it up. Unless I want to.”

“I promise I will.”

“Good girl.”

Elaine read the words over and over. She swallowed again and was pleased to note her saliva glands had started working. “I’m whispering,” she typed. “Thank you. I feel better.”

“Would you like to imagine sitting on my lap, cuddling in my arms?”

“I’d like that a lot.”

“Then I’m opening my arms to you.” He sent a smile.

“Climbs into them on your lap.”

“Wraps them warmly around you. Leans my cheek on your forehead.”

“Mmmmmm. Thank you, Sir.”

“We’ll do this. For real.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Nor can I, but I want to do more work with you first.”

She sat up straighter and uncrossed her legs. “I’ll do my best.”

“Good girl. That’s all I’ll ever ask of you. To try to do your best. If you do try, and you are unable to succeed in whatever task I set or requirement I make of you, I’ll still be pleased by your effort. I promise you that.”

“I like that. That’s something I can do.”

“I’m pleased.”

Elaine relaxed a little. “Then I’m happy.”

“Tomorrow I want you to do your journal just before you meet me here around nine P.M. again, okay?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“In addition to telling me about your day and about your thoughts, I’d like you to answer a question, this time without doing any research. Just a few paragraphs is fine.”

“Okay.”

“The question is, ‘What does being submissive mean to you?‘”

“I can do that.”

“Good. I’ll look forward to reading your thoughts on it.”

“Yes, Sir.” More empty seconds passed. Elaine stared at the screen, only dimly aware of her nipples softly pulsing. Instead she was thinking again of how masterfully Gary used ‘silence’. And timing. Right on cue he started typing again.

“I dreamed of you last night.”

Elaine grinned. “You did?”

“Yeah. One day I’ll tell you about it.”

“Tease.”

“You better believe it.”

Elaine let Gary’s comment hang in the air a moment. Her hands were moving to the keys and her cheeks were getting hotter as she typed. She could hardly believe her eyes as she pressed ‘send‘. “When I blush, I get wet.”

Before she had a chance to get more nervous, Gary shot back, “How do you know?”

“I… I can feel it.”

“You must get wet a lot.”

“All the time.” Elaine sent a blushing face.

“Poor thing.” Gary sent back a wink. “I guess you want me to be gentle with that too.”

“I don’t know what I want with that. I like how my body reacts. I hate that I can’t hide it.”

“I have a few ideas.”

“Will you call me names?”

“Would you like me to?”

Elaine was going out on a limb here. She felt it in her bones. “Yes.” She sent another blush.

“Just a moment. I’m pulling up your checklist.”

“Yes, Sir.” With her breathing shallow and her hands trembling, Elaine waited for Gary to return.

In barely a minute he did. “Okay. The first time I read this I noticed you said you were happy to be humiliated privately but not publicly.”

“It’s wrong, isn’t it?”

“Elaine…”

She swallowed. “Yes?”

“Nothing is wrong between two consenting, open-minded adults. I want to make your dreams come true, but I don’t want to take unfair advantage of you. It pleases me to see you turned on and hot and yes, wet. If you want me to call you names, then that’s okay. But they will just be words, and won’t necessarily represent my true feelings. Understand that my use of humiliation would be part of a scene. Or sometimes a ‘mini-scene’; like if I whisper in your ear or something. But I’d never embarrass you, and certainly not in a public manner.”

“So it would only ever be between you and me?” Elaine asked.

“Yes.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

“Thank you. I can’t believe I’m even admitting all this.”

“You are giving me a chance to give you what you need. It’s positive and constructive, Elaine.”

“But why does the idea of being humiliated turn me on?”

“Hmmm. Good question. How about we get a coffee or something while I think about it?”

“Okay. I need to go to the toilet too.”

“All right. I’ll see you in a few minutes then.”

Elaine made sure she hurried. She wasn’t sure why.

“I’m back,” she typed.

“So am I. Welcome back.”

“Thank you, Sir. You too.”

“Smiles. Okay, so the question was, ‘Why does the idea of being humiliated turn me on?'”

Elaine blushed and shook her head. “Yes.”

“Before we address that question, I think we need to define humiliation in the D/s sense.”

“Um, okay.”

“Firstly, it would be incorrect to say that humiliation is equal to embarrassment. It’s not. Embarrassment is not enjoyable. Humiliation MUST be enjoyable. You have to like it, or it’s not humiliation, it’s abuse. I think in D/s, we see the whole rainbow of humiliation, from foot worship to orgasm control, from name-calling to ‘forced’ exhibitionism. Being told to kneel for your Dominant or to serve him before yourselfmay be considered to be a normal practice, but it could also be called ‘humbling yourself ‘. Humbling yourself before your Dominant is something you would only be expected to do in a D/s setting. You do it ‘for’ your Dominant; for his and your ownpleasure. In this way, what we are talking about is the ‘play’ of humiliation. Are you following so far?”

“One moment please. I want to read that again.”

“Take your time.”

Elaine did. She read it threetimes. “Yes, Sir. I follow. I’ve never thought about it like that.”

“Smiles softly. As with all practices, humiliation must be safe, sane and consensual. I would never say anything deliberately hurtful. Nor would I take advantage of you or embarrass you in public or against your will or somewhere where you might get arrested.” He sent a wink.

Elaine giggled and flushed warmly.

Gary continued. “Humiliation, or humbling yourself, progresses through certain barriers that we put in place subconsciously or consciously. The first is timing. An example might be, being required to do something at an unusual moment, like pinch your nipples at the dinner table. The second is being required to ‘be’ something you are not. Examples may be dressing in a certain way or being called names. The third barrier is submission to pain at the behest of your Dominant. Examples might be the wearing of nipple clamps or being spanked over my knee like a naughty little girl. The final barrier is ‘coming out’ or going public. Examples might be humiliation in public or confessing your nature to your parents or friends. Depending on the person, these barriers may be crossed at different times or be mixed and matched. Many of the varied ‘humiliation scenes’ will be too much and the barriers would never be crossed, for whatever reason the submissive, or the Dominant, sees fit. Any questions so far?”

Elaine was amazed. It all started to make sense. “So really what you are saying is that humiliation is an integral part of D/s?”

“What I am saying is that humbling yourself IS D/s. From the wearing of a collar or being leashed, to golden showers or being required to act like a dog, it’s all D/s, and it’s all humbling yourself before your Dominant.”

“I don’t want to be peed on.”

“LOL.”

“Well! I don’t!”

“Little one, what I am saying is that everyone has their limits, and we need to discuss EXACTLY what I can and cannot do before I do anything more than the most basic humbling of you. And in any case, you do that yourself.”

“I do?”

“You call me, ‘Sir’, don’t you?”

“Yes, Sir.” Elaine sent a blushing face.

“Smiles.”

“I think I understand.”

“The point is, it’s consensual, and I’d never do anything you didn’t want me to do. Nor would I ever expect you to do something you didn’t enjoy doing.”

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome. Humiliation play is very dangerous in the hands of an inexperienced Dominant. Also, only the mentally strong submissive can handle it.”

Now she was confused again. She always thought it was a weakness. “Could you explain please, Sir?”

“Let me give you an example. Say for instance that I called you a ‘dirty little slut’. If you really hated being called that, and I persisted, it could actually cause you a great deal of stress, harm, or even mental or emotional damage, particularly if you couldn’t stop it.”

“I see.” Elaine was breathing heavily.

“On the other hand, only a strong submissive could handle being called a dirty little slut. She would know it was part of humiliation play, and would know that her Dominant chose those words because he knew her limits and those limits weren’t violated by using them.”

At the second mention of being called a ‘dirty little slut’, Elaine couldn’t help clenching her thighs together. She tried to concentrate. “Something is still bothering me. ‘Why?’ I mean, why is it that it affects me so?”

“That I can’t answer. It’s how you are wired. It’s ‘who you are’. Being a submissive means you safely, sanely and consensually put yourself in the hands of your Dominant. You would ‘do anything for him’ within reason. It’s why you are a submissive. And now I’ve helped you enough with your homework.” He sent a wink.

“I never would have thought of this. This changes everything.”

“Kind of. It changes the angle you look at it. Saying humiliation is degrading and abusive ‘in the D/s context‘ is looking at it through vanilla eyes. It’s not something you need to be embarrassed about. And it’s not something I would change about you, even if I could. I like you just the way you are Elaine, and I like you more each time I talk to you.” He sent a big grin. “I’m also thinking of lots more to do than we ever could in a weekend!”

“Blushes!”

“Smiles softly. Okay so I’m going to send you the address of a website with a list of about a hundred examples of humiliation play, and I’d like you to rate them as you did with your checklist. You can copy and paste, then send me the result.”

“Along with my other homework.”

“Yes, along with your short essay on what it means to be submissive. The one I just helped you with.”

Elaine hesitated, then typed, “Yes, Sir.”

“I get the feeling you are reluctant.”

Elaine gulped. She just wanted enough time! “I’m sorry. I just reminded myself that I have a lot of schoolwork to do.”

“Thank you for telling me. If I don’t know what might encroach on the completion of the tasks I set for you, then I can’t give you realistic deadlines. Don’t ever be afraid to tell me if you can’t do something because of other constraints on your time. I don’t have a crystal ball. And I’m human. I can forget things too.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“You may have two days to complete the homework. Okay?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“Tell me about your schoolwork.”

“I’ve just been neglecting it a little. I’ve been a bit busy and distracted.”

“Would it help if you promised me that you will keep up to date?”

“If I promised you?”

“Yes.”

Elaine smiled to herself. That would do it! “I promise to keep up to date with my schoolwork, Sir.”

“Good girl. I expect to be kept informed of the state of it in your journal each day. If you are up to date, you need only say so. If you are not, detail it for me, okay?”

“Yes. I will. I want to do well.”

“Okay. I’ll help with that. The desire to better yourself is something I expect of you in all things, Elaine. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.” She licked her lips. A hundred things were occurring to her. She felt like an enormous weight had lifted from her shoulders. For the first time in her life, she actually felt proud of who she was, all of who she was, and she wasn’t sure why. The weekend seemed so far away. She wished it were sooner. The image of Gary’s smiling face gazing down on her as she kneeled before him came to her. Her skin rippled with pleasure and she blushed hotly. Then she smiled. Then she laughed!

“Are you imagining what it would be like to be with me?” Gary asked.

“Yes!” Elaine shuddered with arousal.

“Times it by a hundred.”

Chapter 17

Elaine was trying to concentrate on finishing her breakfast but it wasn’t easy. It was Monday, she was ready for work with a half hour to spare, and was busy eating her toasted muesli while Kendra and Chelsea chatted about the guys they met the night before.

Elaine wasn’t really listening. Thoughts were running through her mind. Thoughts of seeing Gary and of what he might do to her, or make her do. They were the same thoughts that had occurred to her when she’d woken up before her alarm that morning. Remembering what she’d almost done in those few minutes had only made her hotter.

A sleepy mischievous smile had played at the corners of her mouth when she’d woken and seen her clock. After short-circuiting the alarm, her left hand had insinuated its way between her legs and touched her steaming pussy. Realising how wet she was, she’d slid two fingers into herself before she’d known what was happening. Her other hand had brushed over her nipple. Finding it rigid with excitement, she’d suddenly wanted her nipple clamps.

Sitting up had snapped her out of it. Checking the clock again, she’d sighed. Shaking her head, she’d made for the shower. She had to get ready for work.

In equal parts, fear and excitement were rippling over her skin.

One moment she was smiling to herself, tingles of anticipation prickling her scalp and lubricating her aching pussy. The next moment she was staring into space, unconsciously biting her lip as bracing images danced darkly through her mind.

Elaine munched away, while Chelsea was standing at the kitchen bench making coffees for the three girls.

Chelsea had an interview for a waitress job and was dressed up, something unusual for eight in the morning. As she was pouring she glanced at Elaine and asked, “So? Did you speak to him?”

Elaine looked up from her cereal having just taken a mouthful. She gulped it down and almost choked. “What? What’s wrong?”

Kendra looked like she was wondering the same thing.

Chelsea’s mouth was open in shock and her head was cocked to one side. For a split second Elaine thought she looked like a younger, blonder version of her mother. Chelsea shook her head and went back to what she was doing. Then she sighed and said, “You met this guy on the net. You saw him once in a coffee shop. And now you’re spending the weekend miles from anywhere on his tin pot horse ranch. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Elaine rolled her eyes. Now Chelsea even sounded like her mother. So she told her. “You sound like my mother. I’ll be fine.”

“What’s his name?” Chelsea asked obliviously, handing out their second cups of coffee for the morning and joining the table.

Elaine hesitated for just a second, but thought it couldn’t hurt. “‘Gary Duke’. From Allen Falls. I’ll be getting his address and phone number and confirming they’re legitimate. Don’t worry.”

Chelsea said, “I have a friend in gym class that comes from Allen Falls. I’ll ask if she’s heard of him.”

Elaine was starting to feel defensive. “He’s only been there a year or so.”

“Abby’s parents own the general store. I’m sure they’d have met him.”

Elaine thought about it. “Okay. But I’ll let him know.”

“Hmmm… Yeah. That’s smart. Then if you get some weird-ass reaction, you’ll know he’s a psycho. That’s clever, Elaine.”

Elaine wasn’t sure if that was what she’d intended. She actually meant that she didn’t want Gary thinking anything strange was going on. But Chelsea’s comment made sense. It wasn’t a bad idea

“What are you talking about?” asked Kendra. She’d been yawning and staring into space. She didn’t usually eat breakfast.

Chelsea was dumbfounded. “Where have you been the last five minutes, girl? We’re talking about Elaine hooking up with this Gary Duke guy. She’s staying at his place this weekend.”

Elaine added, “And Chelsea thinks it’s a bad idea.”

“I didn’t say that,” Chelsea retorted. “I just said you shouldn’t rush into it. You only just met him.”

Kendra suddenly became animated, like she just woke up. “Well, I’ve slept with heaps of guys I hardly knew,” she said. “I mean, fuck. Knowing them just bores me most of the time.”

“Yeah,” said Chelsea. “But you’re a slut.”

“Fuck off, Chelsea. You’re no better. I saw you with those twins last night. I bet if they had the balls to ask, you would have left with them. They were hot.”

“Yeah, well they didn’t.” Chelsea blushed and Elaine thought it was interesting.

“Told you,” said Kendra, satisfied.

Elaine rolled her eyes and Chelsea shook her head before standing and walking over to the sink. She tipped out her half-finished coffee and headed out. “I gotta go. Wish me luck!”

“Good luck!” Elaine and Kendra said in unison.

From the hallway came the sound of the front door closing and locking. Elaine and Kendra looked at each other and smiled, sipping their coffee. Finally Kendra said, “You know, the best way to find out about a guy is to talk to his last girlfriend.”

“I would, but she ran off leaving him at the altar.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m not sure if she’d appreciate me calling her.”

“Don’t you want to know why she ran off?”

“Gary already told me.”

“Yeah. ‘Gary’ told you. What if he lied? Guys lie as much as we do, you know. If not more.”

Elaine set her jaw. “Kendra, I have a really good sense of who Gary is, and I’m sure he wouldn’t lie about this stuff. There’s no reason to do it. If he did, he’d lose me. He’s expecting me to check up on him.”

“Then he won’t have a problem providing you with her number. If he has nothing to hide, then he’ll give it to you. Even if she did leave him at the altar.”

“I don’t know. What would I say to her? ‘Hi, this is Gary’s next prospective girlfriend. I was just wondering why you left him? Was there something about him I should know?'”

“Yes! That’s perfect!”

Elaine shook her head. “You’re crazy.”

“No. You’re crazy if you think meeting someone over the ‘net is like meeting someone randomly in a nightclub. At least at a nightclub it’s genuinely potluck. Jeez, Elaine. On the net some weird guy can target exactly the kind of girl he wants. There are chat rooms for everyone; single mothers, college girls, girls into particular bands. God knows what drives some people. Looks, skin colour, hair colour, age, height, build, big tits, small tits. Think of it from the psycho’s point of view. It would be fairly easy to find his target if he knew what he was looking for.”

Elaine wasn’t about to argue. She knew Kendra was right. “I’m not disagreeing, okay. I know it’s dangerous out there. I’m taking all the reasonable precautions I can, but I’m not getting ahead of myself either. We haven’t made any promises to each other. This is just a ‘get to know you’, type thing. That’s all.” She couldn’t help but blush.

Kendra chuckled. “Yeah. I bet.”

“It might go further. I don’t know. But honestly, if it doesn’t look like what it’s supposed to look like, you know, in my head, then I’ll be hightailing it out of there so fast it’ll make his head spin.”

“How?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, how would you get out of there? You don’t have a car.”

Elaine hadn’t given it that much thought. “Look, I know what you are going to say, but if he’s a nice guy he’ll stick to his word. He told me he’d bring me home anytime I wanted. Apart from that, I’ll find out the bus schedule and I’ll get you guys to check up on me.” Elaine hadn’t shared The Code with Kendra the last time, so she explained it to her. “When you phone me, I’ll call you Kennie or something if I’m in trouble.”

“Okay, that’s a good idea. Just remember it’ll take half an hour to get there.”

“Yeah,” said Elaine a little uncertainly. She really was going to be alone with him. “I know.”

“Allen Falls is miles from the next town so running away isn’t an option. The neighbours might be miles away too, so they won’t hear your screams.”

“Jeez, Kendra. You really know how to reassure someone.”

“Hey, it’s your funeral. You can do whatever you want.”

Elaine knew it was just a turn of phrase. Gary wasn’t a psycho. She knew it. Gary was a good-looking guy who happened to be kinky and was probably too honest for his own good. But he was smart. He engaged Elaine on a level that impressed her, but more importantly intrigued her. He made her question things. Not just about him, but about her too.

Maybe he was smarter than Elaine gave him credit. The thought was unnerving.

I have to find out if he’s fooling me.

A queasy feeling wrapped itself around her stomach as she caught the bus. At work she was pleased it was busy. She threw herself into it and before she’d noticed the clock, it was time to head to college.

Afternoon melted into evening and her mood darkened with the weather. A storm was coming and the first raindrops chased Elaine up the apartment stairs. Closing the front door, her roommates greeted her, as did the sweet smell of basil in Chelsea’s lamb stew. It made her tummy rumble.

In her room she donned an oversized sweater, saving her nice one for the weekend.

Ugh. The weekend.

Elaine thought if her roommates kept at her, they’d freak her out.

Gary would reassure her, and she couldn’t wait to talk to him. He had a calming effect on her that she missed the longer she went without seeing him. Even twenty-four hours seemed too long.

Just thinking about him helped her feel better, even as the wind hit and distant thunder rolled across the floodplain. Elaine closed her sliding window, stilling her billowing drapes. If it was electrical, and went on all night, she wouldn’t be able to talk to Gary at all. At least he’d be able to guess why. She was pretty sure he’d be having the same storm.

“Have you guys closed the windows?!” Elaine was standing at her open bedroom door, yelling down the hall.

“Yeah, yeah. No problem!” called out Kendra.

Over the television Elaine heard Chelsea ask, “What did she say?”

Kendra must have been absorbed in something as she muttered, “Storm… windows…”

“Aw, shit. Can you pause it?”

“Sure.”

Elaine heard Chelsea’s light feet padding in her direction.

She entered the hallway and rolled her eyes. “I told myself not to forget to close the window, and what did I do?”

“You forgot,” Elaine said, grinning as Chelsea walked past.

“Good job, Sherlock,” Chelsea said, poking out her tongue. “Are you okay?” she asked, pausing at the door.

“Yeah, just…” Elaine hesitated. “Never mind.”

“Okay,” said Chelsea, wiggling her ass as she disappeared into her room.

Elaine sighed and closed her door. She figured Chelsea hadn’t spoken to her friend. She didn’t mind. If Elaine didn’t have to talk about the weekend, she wasn’t going to bring it up.

More thunder sounded. Elaine was pretty sure it was still a long way off and felt she could at least finish a couple of assignments. During the day she’d spent every spare moment in the library, photocopying, taking notes and doing outlines for the papers that were due by the weekend, plus for the one due on Monday. She was glad she’d checked her schedule. She hoped to get the two small ones done tonight. She could also do her online responses if the storm settled. It was possible to get it all done if she worked steadily. It wouldn’t be easy, but she was confident.

As nine o’clock approached, Elaine was satisfied. Her belly was full of delicious stew that Chelsea had been kind enough to allow her to enjoy while she worked. She wanted to surprise Gary by completing everything he’d asked of her but she couldn’t quite do it. She decided to leave the question, “What does being submissive mean to you, ” until the next day. She’d finished her two assignments for school, and her online responses. She’d completed her journal, and she’d even gone to the site Gary had asked her to visit. The one with the list of ‘humiliating things’. She’d copied and pasted the list into a Word document and filled it out as he’d asked, just like the D/s checklist.

What surprised her most were the similarities between the two. Just as Gary had described, at least a quarter of the things on the list Elaine didn’t find humiliating at all. Like wearing a blindfold. Elaine didn’t think that was ‘humiliating’. Exciting, yes. But not humiliating. She didn’t think she’d find it humiliating if Gary chose her clothes for her either. As long as they matched.

Hmmm, she wondered. What if they didn’t?

The question about ‘Leaving Instructions as to What to Do’ made her feel funny. What if the instructions were stupid or she didn’t agree with them? The same with ‘Leaving the Bathroom Door Open’.

What if it was going to be like, noisy?

She blinked when she arrived at ‘Orgasm Control’.

The next entry made her swallow. ‘Orgasm Denial’.

I’m not going to be able to do this. Not if he makes me crazy.

It was on those two items that Elaine had spent the most time. Rating them from zero to five was quite bizarre. Zero was supposed to mean, ‘I never want to do it’, like a hard limit. And five was, ‘I want it all the time’. Nowhere was the option of, ‘I CAN’T do it’. She settled on four, which was, ‘I want it regularly’.

She shook her head. ‘Shave Body Hair’, and ‘Stand in a Corner’, were easy fours. ‘Suck a Dildo in a Car, so Others can See’, was a three. Meaning: ‘I usually like it on an irregular basis’. Same with ‘Wear No Bra Under a See-Through Top’ and ‘Write on Body’. Her thoughts were making her hot. She shook her head and tried to concentrate. It was easier if her legs weren’t crossed.

It was as though, up to a point, the more extreme the idea, the hotter Elaine became. Even just thinking about it, like, ‘Be a Maid’ or, ‘Eat from Master’s Hand’. Then it snapped and it was too much.

God, look at some of this stuff. ‘Slap Your Face’, ‘Wear Diapers’, ‘Serve as a Toilet’.

By the time she’d finished, Elaine had a lot of zeros.

And she had a lot she wanted to talk to Gary about. Out of the blue she remembered she was supposed to take a look at some examples of ‘contracts’, so she started at Castlerealm and then Googled. She was reading through her forth one when Gary messaged her.

“Hello, Elaine.”

“Hi, Gary.” She felt the heat in her cheeks almost immediately. She hoped her courage didn’t desert her.

“I hear there’s a storm coming. Are you on dial-up or on a cordless laptop?”

“Sure. It was incisive and thoughtful. I enjoy reading your thoughts.” A moment later he typed, “Hey, it’s me you’re talking to.”

“I… I’m sorry. It’s been a weird day.”

“Why don’t you tell me about it?”

“Thank you. I will.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Well, firstly, I’ve been horny all damn day and I can’t do anything about it.”

“Not a good sign.” He sent a wink.

“No.” Elaine giggled and sent a smile.

Just then Kendra poked her head around Elaine’s bedroom door and said, “Um, I’m just going out. I’ll see you later.” She looked like she wanted to ask something but was holding her tongue.

Elaine wasn’t in the mood to indulge her. Besides, Gary was waiting. “Okay,” she said, barely politely. “See you later.” Elaine turned back to the computer as Kendra closed her door. Ugh, she thought. I should chase her and find out what’s up.Sighing, she typed, “One moment please, Sir.”

“Sure,” Gary replied.

Elaine hopped up from her computer chair and headed for the lounge room. Kendra was just leaving and they almost ran into each other.

“Sorry!” said Elaine with surprise.

“Hehe. It’s okay. Going somewhere?” Kendra asked rhetorically.

“No, I just thought… Never mind.”

“Come on. Spit it out.”

“I… I just thought you wanted to ask me something.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Kendra said, clearly for Chelsea’s benefit. She took Elaine’s arm and led her to the front door. Elaine thought Kendra was really strong. “I just don’t want Miss Know-It-All to hear this,” she whispered.

“What is it?” Elaine asked, prising Kendra’s fingers from her arm.

“Sorry. I don’t know. I don’t even know why I want to talk to you about this.”

“What?” Elaine asked, almost exasperated.

“I think I might be pregnant.”

Elaine’s jaw dropped. For a moment she could hardly believe her ears. Kendra was pregnant? Surely she took precautions. “How?”

“I don’t know. I think the rubber must have broken or something.”

“Jesus, Kendra. How long has it been?”

“Six weeks on Thursday.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah. I’m going to see the doctor tomorrow. Can you come with me?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks. And don’t tell Chelsea. I’ll tell her after I know one way or the other.”

“Okay. Are you sure you want to go out tonight?”

“I NEED to go out. I’m going crazy every time I sit still.”

“Okay,” said Elaine, smiling softly. She could almost see Kendra pregnant. Strangely she thought she’d be a good mom.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow. It’s at ten A.M. Chelsea will be at class.”

“All right.” Elaine thought she’d only miss one lecture. Maybe two.

“Thanks, Elaine,” Kendra said. For a split second Elaine thought Kendra looked really sad. It flashed over her face before being replaced with her usual smart-assed self.

“You’re welcome,” Elaine replied, taking Kendra’s hands in hers and squeezing them lightly. “Go on. Have fun. And make him sweat.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m going to fuck him six ways to Sunday.”

“I didn’t… Oh, never mind. Get out of here.”

Kendra winked and closed the door behind her.

Elaine shook her head and made for the lounge room. Chelsea was watching some cop show. “Do you want a coffee? I was just making one.”

“Sure. Thanks. Hey, what were you two talking about?”

Elaine was surprised by the question and wasn’t sure how to answer. “It wasn’t about you. Kendra just wanted to know if I was free in the morning.”

“What for?”

“I’m not sure,” Elaine lied.

She swallowed as she left the lounge room and entered the kitchen, intent on making coffees. She was glad Chelsea hadn’t followed her. Elaine hated being drilled on things. She was a terrible liar.

Finally the coffee was ready and she waited until the advertisements were over before taking Chelsea’s to her. Her plan was a good one and Chelsea barely grunted a thank you as Elaine put her coffee on the low table. Lightning lit the lounge room window. Hastily Elaine beat a path to her room as more thunder sounded. It was still miles away.

From somewhere Elaine found the sense to type, ‘Be right back, ‘ to Gary. Then she minimised the conversation and turned back to Chelsea. “What about him?” she asked.

“Well, I asked Abby from gym class, she’s the one from Allen Falls.”

“Okay.” Elaine’s heart was thumping even louder. She could feel it in her ears.

“She remembered meeting him once and thought he was totally hot, but according to her, he hardly even looked at her. She thought he was a bit of a loner. That got me worried so I asked her to ask her Dad. She rang him straight away at the store in Allen Falls then handed me the phone.”

“You talked to her Dad? What did he say?”

“Yes! He says Gary Duke’s a great guy. Always stops to talk. He put up some new shelves for Abby’s Mom one time and they’ve even had him over to dinner. Apparently his horse ranch thing is doing really well and he’s ordered a whole heap of timber to build a third stable. He’s settled in the area and is on a committee with Abby’s Dad that reports to the local municipality. He said Gary was pretty torn up when he was left at the altar. It was a real surprise. Everyone feels for the guy.”

Elaine breathed hard. “So he gets the all clear?”

“Go get him tiger.”

Elaine grinned. And she almost burst into tears. “Thanks, Chelsea.”

“Don’t mention it. I’m going over to Abby’s to study. She’s a nice girl. And smart too. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. And give him my number if things don’t work out.” She winked and headed out.

Elaine was still shaking when she heard the front door close. Turning back to her computer, she saw that messenger was blinking. Gary had typed something while she was away. She clicked it to the front and read what it was.

He’d typed, “Yeah, I had this strange phone call this afternoon. Apparently some college girl was asking questions about me.” He’d sent a wink. Then he’d also typed, “Waiting patiently.”

“I’m back,” Elaine said. “I’m sorry for the interruptions.”

“It’s okay. So did I check out?”

“She just rushed in to tell me. That’s why I was away.”

“And?”

“You did fine.”

“Good. First hurdle jumped. What was the other thing holding you back?”

Elaine blinked. “It seems silly now.”

“Let me decide, okay?”

“Well… Okay. I was going to ask if I could talk to your ex-girlfriend.”

“Hmmmm. I don’t think I still have her number. In fact, I’m pretty sure I don’t. I heard she got married, but I don’t even know her new last name. I was betrayed, Elaine. I’ve tried not to think about her.”

Elaine felt a tear fall down her cheek. “I’m sorry. I knew it was a stupid idea.”

“Well, no. It wasn’t. I’ll make a couple of calls. Maybe I could get her to ring you.”

Elaine swallowed. “Do you have a pen? I’ll give you my number.”

“Okay, let’s swap them now. You can write down my address while you’re at it.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back again.”

“Nods.”

Elaine only took a moment to find a pen and her little address book. “Okay, I’m ready.” In moments they were done. Elaine stared at the paper. She wondered if Gary was doing the same. She looked back at the screen. He was typing.

“How are you feeling?”

“Kind of, I don’t know. Like I’m on a ride and I can’t get off. It’s exciting but also scary.”

“Tell me if you want to get off the ride.”

“I promise I will. But I don’t want to. I have to ride it to the end. I have to know.”

“Nods softly.”

Elaine grabbed a tissue. She was feeling so emotional. “Sir, I have some other questions. I’ve written them down.”

“Okay. Let’s work through them.”

“I remembered you saying, ‘once you cross over into real life, you can’t go back’. Someone else said something quite similar too. Could you explain what you meant?”

“I think I was being a bit dramatic. What I was getting at was once you have experienced D/s in real life, vanilla is decidedly plain.”

“But I haven’t done vanilla.”

“Hmmm. You know what? You’re right.”

“I am?”

“Well, yeah. I mean… God, I don’t know what I mean.”

“Giggles.”

“They only made one of you, didn’t they?”

“Smiles up at you.”

“Are you on your cushion ‘in your mind’?”

“Nods and bites my lip.”

“You’re allowed. I bought you a beautiful big black one with red embroidery today. I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I will.” Elaine touched her cheeks. They felt like they were on fire.

“What other questions did you have?”

“Well, I wanted to ask… Well not ask. Like, know something… Oh, I don’t know. I’ll just come out and say it.”

“That would probably be for the best.”

“Sometimes I feel guilty about all this. Like I shouldn’t be doing it. Like I’m playing with something I shouldn’t be playing with.”

“Interesting. What does the guilt feel like?”

“Feel like?”

“Yes. Is it the kind that would be alleviated by being punished? Maybe you just need a spanking.”

“Blushes!” Elaine felt her pussy warming up. She wondered if she was a little crazy. God, maybe Gary was right. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I don’t know. From what you’ve told me, you get turned on whenever you think of most mainstream aspects of the lifestyle. To be turned on by extreme things, relatively extreme, tells you that you are a little extreme yourself. This is not the kind of stuff you can share with your mother over tea.”

“Yes.”

“It turns you on and you feel like maybe there is something wrong with you.”

“Reaches out to your cheek and caresses it gently, staring deeply into your eyes and smiling softly.”

“‘Mmmmms’ quietly and listens.”

“There is nothing inherently bad or evil about the lifestyle. You are free to come and go as you please. No one, including me, is going to coerce you or force you into anything. There is nothing wrong with choosing something a little different. I think I read somewhere that one in a hundred people are into the lifestyle full-time, that’s almost three million Americans. It just isn’t that weird any more.

“People choose the lifestyle for lots of different reasons. Some people are not well or have had troubled childhoods that they are not ‘over’. Some people like the pain. Some like the servitude. Some like the D/s. Some like a particular aspect; like bondage or rubber clothing. The point is, you choose what you want and don’t want, and how hard or soft you get it. I will need your help to tell me what is right for you. We’ll be talking about what is happening every step of the way. I’m not going to spring anything on you that you won’t like, or won’t expect. I’ll be giving you a safeword that you will only use when you must. It calls a halt to what I am doing or saying or anything. You can even use it in an argument, though I doubt you would argue with me.” He sent a smile.

“I was going to ask about safewords.”

“The use of your safeword means ‘it’s too much’, or ‘I can’t take this’. Its use is your responsibility. My responsibility is to make sure you don’t force yourself beyond a limit, simply to please me.”

“Does that happen often?”

“More often than you think. You are capable of more than you know. And my job is to help you to explore your boundaries. But in your zeal to please, you may find yourself saying something like, ‘harder, harder, ‘ when you can really take no more. I am experienced and I will recognise the signs, both physical and psychological. And while the Doctor was here I had him check the first aid kit and he replaced some supplies, ‘just in case’.”

“What might happen? You’re scaring me.”

“Well, you might fall off a horse.” Gary winked.

“Meanie.”

“I’m just making sure. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“And my safeword?”

“You want it now?”

“Yes, please.”

“Pineapple.”

“Pineapple?”

“I can’t think of a better one off the top of my head. You are unlikely to use it in conversation or inadvertently. Don’t you like it? Do you want something prettier?” He sent a face with its tongue poking out.

“Giggles. No, I like it.”

“Good.” He sent a smile. “Elaine, if this is not for you, you will know it very quickly. It won’t take long for you to either love or hate what I do with you. I know I’m repeating myself, but I’ll take you home the moment you ask me to do it, I promise. I have no desire to force you into anything. The thought just doesn’t do it for me.”

“Nods softly. Smiling up at you.”

“Any more questions?”

“Just one.”

“And that is?”

“What if it IS the kind of guilt that would be alleviated by a punishment?”

“I wondered whether you’d ask that. Firstly we’d have to agree that that was the case. In most circumstances I would suggest it. You would have to choose to agree or disagree.”

“What if I didn’t agree?”

“If it was my suggestion, then I would expect you to tell me why and, if you were truly convinced, then to convince me. I am able to see the merits of any solid argument. If I continue to disagree, I would need to convince you of the merits of a punishment. Again, you would have to be convinced, and agree to the punishment. I would never punish you without your explicit consent.”

“And then?” Elaine swallowed.

“If you agreed, we would then discuss what form the punishment would take. Again, we would agree on its form before undertaking the punishment itself. There must be a lot of communication. You must understand why and how and when you are to be punished. And you must agree to everything I suggest all along the way. I will answer your questions and guide you through things like that. We shall also see how easily you bruise and work around things like that. Also, I seriously doubt whether you will want to be tied up, so we’ll leave that for another time when you feel completely and utterly safe with me. You can always try to convince me though.” He sent a smile.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

“Mmmmmm.”

“What is it?”

“Whenever you say that I just… It just hits me.”

“Say what? ‘My pleasure’?”

“Yes.” Elaine sent the blushing face.

“You give me a great deal of pleasure, little one.”

Elaine swallowed again, feeling her nipples harden as though under his gaze. “Looks up at you from the floor.” Her clit throbbed with the thought that she was alone. She checked the time. Chelsea would be back in an hour. She took a deep breath. “Sir, I need to play now.”

“Chuckles. Poor baby.”

“I mean it. I mean… I’m sorry, I’m just shaking with need.”

“Do you want some time?”

“No. I want do it in front of you.”

“Elaine…”

“Please. I’m so horny. But I don’t want to be anywhere but here. With you. I need this, Sir. I need a taste. It’s driving me mad. Please?”

“Go get your clamps and your vibe, that’s all.”

Elaine stared at the words. She wanted her dildo too. A shudder ran through her body. “Yes, Sir. I’ll be right back.”

When she got back to the computer, she’d locked the door, disrobed, and turned down the lights in record time. She was panting and naked. Her skin was feverish and she couldn’t even feel the chill in the air. Her nipples were already as hard as they would get. She could feel them throbbing in time with her heart. “I’m back,” she typed, adding another blushing face. Thunder rolled from far away. Elaine thought maybe the storm had missed them.

“Are you sure you want to do this? You are submitting to me for the period of this scene, Elaine. You understand and agree, right?”

“Yes, Sir.” As Elaine went about attaching the wicked little things, she glanced at the screen. Gary was waiting for her to tell him she’d done it. When she had, she typed, “They’re on.”

“Keep your knees apart.”

Her legs shot open and cool air caressed her inner thighs, raising goose bumps. “Yes, Sir.”

“Don’t touch your pussy. Drag your nails gently up the inside of your thighs. Then caress back down with your palms and fingers. Up and down. Slowly. Close your eyes for a moment and feel the clamps on your nipples without touching them.”

Elaine did as Gary asked. It was delicious. The hot throbbing in her nipples grew and grew.

“Tighten the clamps up to just before the point where you can’t stand it. I mean, make them tight but not too tight, okay?”

“Yes, Sir.” Elaine gasped as she tightened the first one. She moaned and her head rolled back when she did the other. Her pussy ached intensely. Her clit was so hard it was actually sticking out a bit. She swallowed and looked back at the screen. Gary hadn’t typed anything. Perspiration was forming on her top lip. She could think of only one thing to say. “Please.”

“Please what, dirty girl?”

A shudder ran through her body. Her pussy contracted like it was reaching for something. The towel under her ass was struggling to absorb her juices already. “Please. The vibe. Please, Sir.”

“Open your legs wider. You will be doing this in front of me in a few days.”

“God. Yes.”

“Don’t you want to wait?”

“I can’t!”

“It makes you hot, opening your legs before me, doesn’t it?”

“So hot.”

“Caress your pussy, one finger, not inside. Be gentle.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“This is making my cock hard.”

“Godddd…”

“Oh you like that idea? Well maybe you’ll like the idea that I haven’t masturbated since last Wednesday and I’m not going to. I’ve been half-hard for a couple of days now.”

“Please let me put my finger inside.”

“All right.” He sent a smile. “You beg so nicely.”

“Thank you, Sir.” And she did it. She was so hot. So hot and slick. Her pussy went crazy as soon as her finger entered, clamping down and convulsing around it. She had to hold still so she wouldn’t cum. Elaine typed one-handed. “Mmmmmm.”

“Smiles softly. I want you to use two fingers in your pussy and your vibe on high on your clitty. When I tell you, I want you to fuck yourself hard and hold your vibe on your clit. I want you to try not to cum and to count for me. And I want you to remember what number you got up to before you came, okay?”

“Y… Yes.”

Elaine picked up her toy and turned it to high.

I’m not going to last long, she thought.

“I’m ready,” she typed, then slid her fingers into her pussy. Her hips jerked involuntarily and she watched the screen, her toy an inch from her clit, buzzing madly.

“Okay. Now!”

In seconds all hell broke loose. Elaine barely made it to five before she exploded. Her fingers pistoned in and out of her wet heat, juices spattering her thighs. She writhed in painful ecstasy, her vibe on her clit, trying to hold off the inevitable. The throbbing tightness of her nipples flowed into sensory overload and her eyes rolled back into her head. She could feel her body convulsing and she was sliding off the chair but she couldn’t do anything. For a full thirty seconds her body was practically out of control.

From some tiny part of her mind that was still holding on, she wrenched her fingers from herself and grabbed the towel, pressing it over her pussy as her vibe ignited an even mightier orgasm. It engulfed her as though in flames and everything went black.

Elaine opened her eyes and blinked. She was looking at her ceiling. Shadows from her computer played across it. Her screen saver had begun. That meant she’d been ‘inactive’ for at least five minutes. She felt light-headed and her thighs were like jelly. The towel was sopping and cold between her legs. “Damn,” she said aloud as she removed the clamps.

Back on her chair, she shook the mouse and the screensaver disappeared. Gary was still online. He’d left a message. “Let me know when you are okay. I hope you remembered the number you reached.”

Elaine quickly pushed the towel under today’s washing and slipped on her robe. She put away her toys and grabbed some socks as she was starting to feel the cold. “I’m back,” she typed as she sat down. “And I’m exhausted. Sorry I took so long.”

“I think you needed that more than I thought.”

“I agree. But I’ll be good for the rest of the week.”

“Until you see me?”

“Yes.”

“Promise me.”

Elaine hesitated, then smiled. “I promise.”

“Good girl. What number did you get to?”

“Five.”

“Jeez. Five?”

“Blushes.”

“This is gonna be fun.”

Chapter 18

Elaine grabbed Kendra’s arm before they entered the clinic. She looked around before hissing, “I thought we were going to see an Ob-Gyn…”

Kendra shook Elaine’s grip. “I’ve seen an Ob-Gyn. This is the doctor. You know, The Doctor. I’m getting rid of it. Jeez, Elaine. What did you think I needed? My hand held in the waiting room?”

“Jesus, Kendra. I agree with you. It’s your decision. But before you make it, you should at least be informed. It’s traumatic for God’s sake. ‘Getting rid of it’, as you so eloquently put it, doesn’t sound like a considered opinion to me.”

“I’ve had plenty of time to think it over.”

“What’s the rush? You said you were at six weeks.”

Kendra swallowed. “Ten weeks.”

Elaine shook her head. Mostly to herself, she mumbled, “Why am I here?”

“Look. Sorry, okay?” The sad look Elaine had seen the night before flashed across Kendra’s face again. “I’m scared. All right?”

Elaine thought maybe Kendra was three-dimensional after all. This was a hell of a way to find out. “Just tell me what’s going through your head.”

“I’m too young to have a kid. I have no idea who the father is. I can’t afford it. And I don’t like babies. In that order. Satisfied?”

Elaine sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Can we go inside?”

“No.”

“No?”

“I want to give you a hug first.”

**************************

The experience Kendra endured was one Elaine didn’t want first hand. After they hobbled up the steps and inside to Kendra’s bedroom, Elaine doled out two painkilling tablets and fetched some water. After supervising Kendra taking the pills, she tucked her in bed fully clothed. Kendra insisted Elaine go to class. Fifteen minutes later there wasn’t much Elaine could do. Kendra was out like a light.

Reluctantly Elaine left her roommate, spending the afternoon worrying about possible complications and all the unwanted children in the world. She just wanted to get back to the apartment and make sure Kendra was all right.

Arriving home late in the afternoon, Elaine knocked softly before opening Kendra’s door. She was still asleep. Elaine didn’t wake her. Instead she decided to make spaghetti, Kendra’s favourite dish. While the sauce was reducing, Elaine made some notes for the assignment that was due after the weekend. By the time Chelsea came home Elaine was back in the kitchen, stirring the sauce. Chelsea asked where Kendra was and Elaine told her.

“Is she all right?” Chelsea asked.

“I think so.”

“Is that spaghetti I can smell?”

“Yes.”

“Yum.”

Chelsea flopped in front of the TV in the lounge room while Elaine got dinner together. She wasn’t sure how Chelsea might react when Kendra told her about the termination. Maybe that was why Kendra hadn’t told her. Or maybe Chelsea didknow but simply couldn’t take Kendra to the clinic.

She shook her head and wrinkled her nose remembering the events of the day.

While waiting for Kendra, Elaine thought she’d enquire about getting a blood test. The whole idea of asking someone to check if she had a clean bill of health ‘for sex’, made her very nervous. But she’d gathered up the courage to ask the secretary about it and the next minute she’d been whisked into an examining room. Elaine had snagged an appointment with a weedy doctor who’d had ‘an unfortunate cancellation’. Elaine had wondered who the unfortunate one was, as the unfamiliar man had poked and prodded her, drawn her blood and made her pee in a cup. He’d even called her a ‘good girl‘ for doing it.

She was glad she didn’t have medical fantasies. The whole experience would have been a real downer.

Still, she’d get her results the next day and could pick up the written report before the weekend.

Spooning out the spaghetti, Elaine made a small serving for Kendra and took it to her room. She woke her and placed the bowl on her bedside table. Kendra thanked her but rolled over, saying she wasn’t hungry. Elaine left it there anyway, quietly suggesting Kendra yell out if she needed anything.

Returning to the lounge room, Elaine joined Chelsea and ate in front of the TV while some crazy show was on. Elaine’s mind was elsewhere. She was thinking about Kendra and also about the paper she had to write. Not the one for school, the one for Gary. About ‘being submissive’.

As soon as Elaine was done eating, she retired to her room to ‘study’ and got started right away. It didn’t take her long at all. She just wrote from her heart.

‘What does being submissive mean to you?’ By Elaine Milanovic

To me, being submissive means wanting to please someone ‘for myself’. I am the one who benefits. It is ‘my’ basic need that is being fulfilled. The thought excites me unbelievably. To know someone so well, to trust them so much… I ache to be able to look into his eyes and tell him, ‘I will do anything for you.’ The freedom of my submission beckons to me through a thick fog, just out of reach. I can almost taste it.

I am inexperienced. But I’m not stupid. Consciously or unconsciously, I’ve chosen not to get wrapped up in the meat market of nightclubs and college life. I stand by those choices and I don’t regret any decision of importance in my life. I’ve been instilled with a respect for authority that permeates my being. My father being military had much to do with that. Succeeding is important to me and I have been thinking lately that I am more self-disciplined than I thought. I am serious and thoughtful. I do well at school and I like to think ‘my head is screwed on straight’.

And yet I am considered to be kinky. Or at least ‘my thoughts and desires’ are. I don’t understand it. I can’t see how ‘pleasing myself’ is wrong when it’s safe, sane and consensual. It just doesn’t make sense.

All my life I’ve tried to be pleasing. I’ve been ‘good’. I’ve been what my parents wanted. I haven’t been in trouble with the police and I haven’t been a young, unwed mother. I’ve tried to make them proud. And yet, I haven’t been perfect. I’ve caused them heartache and worry. I was a normal teenager. But I’ve survived. I have a good reputation.

I have a better imagination.

I’ve realised fairly recently that I like to masturbate. A lot. The images I have in my mind are extreme when compared to most people. ‘Being made love to’ is not my sole desire. I do desire romance and I want it desperately, but that’s not all. I want more. Much more. I don’t want sex to take five minutes. I’m quite sure a five-minute fuck could be mind-blowing. But not all the time. And I don’t want it to be a chore. I want it to be passionate and I want it to be hot. I want to explore what is possible and I want to be pushed beyond what I’ve imagined.

I want to be able to let go.

I need to trust. And communicate. I need to know I am truly cared for and that my needs are important. I want to know whether I am doing well or not. I need to make ‘my man’ happy and I need to know I am succeeding. I want to truly and actually adore him. For he ‘would’ be mine in my submission, just as I would be ‘his’ in his Domination. I want to trust him implicitly and I want to allow myself to be what my Dominant wants, while at the same time be taken to where, in his heart, he knows I want to go.

I want to be able to submit myself to his will. I want to be free to do as he asks. I’ve thought about this a lot, and not just while masturbating. Most of what I see as ‘humbling myself before my Dominant’, is desirable to me.

Smiles.

I want to be his. And I want to be considered. I want communication and I want my sexuality to be expanded for his and my benefit. I want to rely on him and I don’t want to feel guilty about it. Not because I am ‘easily led’, but because I want a genuine partnership.

I want to find the safety and the structure within which I can be free. Free to be me. Free to become whoever I wish to be in the future. I don’t know what I’m capable of doing or being. But I know I belong. From what I’ve read, from what I’ve experienced, and from how it makes me feel, I know that submission is what I want.

So to me, submission is an expression of my freedom. It gives me the opportunity to openly communicate my needs in a safe and structured environment. It means knowing and trusting someone so much. And it means pleasing someone who can fulfil my needs. But most of all, it means choosing. Choosing who I want to be, choosing how I submit, and choosing into whose knowledgeable hands that I will deliver myself.

Elaine sat back in her chair and sighed. She hated writing things without researching. But she’d written all she could think of then edited it three or four times. She hoped he liked her answer and that she hadn’t said anything wrong. She just tried to be honest. She knew that things might not work out with Gary. She had to keep reminding herself that this was just the first step on what might be a long journey.

She bit her lip as she pressed ‘send’, then turned her attention to her journal.

The first thing that occurred to her was, ‘What a day.’

So she wrote it down.

*************************

“Grins.”

Gary’s message popped up on Elaine’s screen giving her a fright. She’d been concentrating hard, working on her Metaphysics essay due next Monday. At least her term paper due Friday was done. “One moment, please,” she typed, saving her work and closing windows.

“Sure.”

Within a minute she was ready. “Hello, Sir,” she typed, adding a smile.

“Hello, Elaine. I just got done reading your answer to my question about being submissive. I think you are just about ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“For the presidency. What do you think? For the weekend, silly.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, Sir. It’s been a a strange day.”

“I’ll say. Though I would have thought it was somewhat depressing after reading your journal.”

“A bit. It’s just a bad situation, I guess. Bad all round.”

“Let’s talk about it.”

So they did. Elaine talked about everything that had gone through her head that day. As the opportunity to unload opened in front of her, she began to smile. Gary listened and took it all in. He added his own opinion and they talked things through. They had comparable outlooks on sex, contraception and the abortion issue. They had both assumed correctly that the other was of a similar mind, though they were glad they covered the subject. And they both enjoyed seeing how the other’s brain worked.

About an hour later the topic had been exhausted and Gary said, “A lot of this could go in your journal, you know.”

“I never know what to put in it and what to leave out,” Elaine replied.

“Well, in real life, you would have my undivided attention to tell me all about your day. Every day, a time would be set-aside for you to do that. During that time, you would be encouraged to tell me not just ‘what you did’, but how you thought about it and any questions that might have arisen about any aspect, or indeed any subject at all. Your journal either replaces or augments that time.”

“Augments?”

“There is no reason why you couldn’t keep a journal for the rest of your life if it suited you.”

“I see. It’s a work in progress.”

“I’m sure it will take shape as you realise and explore its benefits.”

“So it hasn’t displeased you.”

“Not at all.”

“I should just work toward using it more effectively.”

“You can work toward using it however you like. Once you’ve met the basic requirements, the sky is the limit. That’s the point.”

“Could you tell me the exact basic requirements please, Sir?”

“Haven’t I told you?”

“I don’t think so.”

“The basic requirements are to outline the happenings of your day and any feelings, thoughts, needs or desires that they provoked.”

“Oh. I think you did tell me that.”

“Smiles. In the future, more things may be added such as any rules or instructions we’ve decided on, or any delayed reactions to discussions we’ve had. I think we communicate pretty well already, so as long as those basic requirements are met, I can’t see any reason why you can’t just enjoy your journal and do with it as you wish.”

Elaine read Gary’s words a couple of times. She was surprised by how laterally she was thinking. She wondered if Gary would catch her wavelength. “A bit like D/s.”

“Hmmmm,” he sent.

Elaine smiled to herself.

In no time Gary was typing again. “Yes, a bit.” He sent a smile. “D/s is the same in that if you meet your Dominant’s basic requirements, then you move to the next level, and so on and so on. If you get a match, then the world is your oyster. The trick is in taking the time to find your match. When your boundaries and limits converge and you can assume correctly what the other wants and needs, then yes, you are truly free to do anything within those boundaries and limits.”

There was something Elaine hadn’t understood. “What do you mean by, ‘the next level’?”

“Where am I up to?” Elaine wondered if the question was appropriate, though not until after she’d sent it.

“I’d say there is still a lot of mentoring going on and a fair bit of training. We have a long way to go.”

“Is it normal to ‘like’ the idea of having something to aim at? Like a career path?” Elaine smiled at her words and sent the face with its tongue poking out.

“I like that. A career path.” He sent back a smile. “I don’t know if it’s normal. I’ve never really thought about it. I like that you like it though.”

“Grins.” Elaine was feeling better already. “Can I ask you something else, Sir? I just thought of it.”

“Sure. Fire away.”

“Well, you said something like, ‘I expect you to better yourself in all things’. I was just wondering what you meant by that.” She bit her lip. What she was really wondering was, ‘What happens if I fail?‘

“I’m pretty sure that isn’t what I said.”

“I might be wrong. It was something like that.”

“I think what I said was, ‘The DESIRE to better yourself in all things is one of my expectations’. It’s ‘desiring’ that is important, not necessarily succeeding.”

“Oh, yeah. I remember now.” Elaine sent a blushing face. “And I think I said, ‘I can do that’.”

“Nods softly. If you don’t have the desire to succeed and the desire to be pleasing to the one you choose, then there is no point.”

Elaine thought for a moment. “Can I rephrase my answer?”

“Sure.”

“I want to do that.” She sent a smile. “I ‘want’ to succeed and I ‘want’ to try to better myself. In all things… but particularly in pleasing you.” She sent the blushing face again.

“I think you are doing fine.” He sent the face with the big grin.

************************

The next morning it was like nothing had happened.

Elaine wondered if Kendra was okay, but she didn’t say anything. She seemed all right and even said so when Chelsea asked. Kendra didn’t mention anything at all and in fact averted her eyes every time Elaine tried to make contact. She was being vague as usual, but Elaine thought it was an act.

Chelsea casually asked Kendra, “So what’s wrong with you?”

“Woman’s problems, you know,” Kendra replied.

“Well, as long as everything’s okay.”

“Yeah, fine.”

Elaine was looking daggers at Kendra. She couldn’t work out why there was such secrecy.

“All right. Well, I have to go,” Chelsea said. “I have a test this morning and I don’t want to be late.”

Elaine asked, “How did your interview go?”

“Pretty good. They want me to start tonight and do lunch tomorrow. Then, if it works out, we’ll discuss hours.”

“Congratulations,” said Elaine. “You’ll make a good waitress.”

“Thanks, but I’ve done it before.”

“Oh. I didn’t know.”

Chelsea winked.

“Who am I gonna party with?” asked Kendra.

Elaine rolled her eyes and Chelsea laughed, asking Kendra, “Don’t you have a date tonight?”

Their eyes met again and Elaine realised Kendra was about to cry. She pulled her chair closer to Kendra’s and they hugged.

And Kendra burst into tears.

Elaine held her and stroked her hair while Kendra sobbed. Elaine wasn’t sure exactly what was going on, but she knew a friend in need when she saw one. Kendra held her tightly and was rubbing Elaine’s back and before Elaine knew what was happening, she felt uncomfortable. The touching was becoming too familiar and she started to pull away when Kendra pulled her close and kissed her right on the lips. Tears were still falling down Kendra’s cheeks. Their eyes met briefly before Kendra tried to kiss Elaine again.

Kendra blinked and reached for a tissue. She blew her nose and repeated herself. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Elaine stood up and cleared the table. “Is that what you always say when you’re trying to avoid facing up to something?” Kendra didn’t answer right away. Elaine looked at her from the sink. “Well?”

“Well, what? I just got carried away. I thought you liked me.”

“I do like you. But Kendra, that doesn’t mean I want to kiss you. Whatever’s going on, you should tell a person before you start kissing them.”

“I’m sorry, okay? It won’t happen again.”

“You bet it won’t. I don’t think of you that way.”

Kendra burst into tears again. Elaine handed her the tissues and rubbed her shoulders, standing safely behind her while she blew her nose again. “You’ve had a tough time. Just relax. Everything probably feels weird and kind of unreal at the moment. It’s probably the painkillers.”

Kendra sniffled and nodded.

Elaine had to get out of there. She had classes, but she just wanted some air. “I won’t say anything to Chelsea, okay. Not about any of this. You should go back to bed. I’ll check on you later.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just promise you’ll try to be a bit more honest with me. We could be friends you know.”

“It’s harder than you think sometimes.”

Elaine shrugged. “It’s up to you.” She grabbed her backpack and an apple. “I gotta go. Get some rest.”

“I will.”

**********************

Elaine was in the library when her cell phone rang. A few people gave her dirty looks, but she answered it anyway. It was Gary. Hearing his voice was heavenly. She was almost dumbstruck but she managed to ask him to wait for a moment while she gathered her stuff together and hurried to the exit.

She sat on a wooden bench in the sun just outside the door. “I can talk now,” she said breathlessly.

“It’s nice to hear your voice.”

“I was just thinking the same thing.” She could almost see him smiling.

“I’m calling to warn you that Leah is going to call you in a minute if that is your wish.”

“Leah?”

“My ex.”

“Oh.” Elaine started shaking. She’d forgotten all about that. “Right.”

“I told her I’d call her back and give her your number if you still wanted to talk to her. I got a message to her through some mutual friends. Well, kind of ex-friends. I don’t see them much any more. But they’re still in touch. So what do you think? Do you want to talk to her?”

“I… I don’t know…”

“I guess it depends on what you wanted to ask her. Not that I’m trying to wheedle it out of you. You can ask her anything.”

Elaine was sure he was smiling now. She could definitely hear it. “I… I just wanted to know if you’d be willing to share her number. I thought, you know, you might act weird about it or something… Oh, I don’t know, it was Kendra’s idea actually. I knew I shouldn’t have listened to her.”

“It was a good idea.”

“I guess.”

“Well you found out, didn’t you?”

“Yes. I suppose I did.”

“Then she helped.”

Elaine looked around quickly and lowered her voice a little. “Yes, Sir.” Just saying the words thrilled her.

“Oooo, in public. Very risqué of you, Elaine. I don’t suppose now would be a good time to tease you a little, would it?”

“Not before talking to your ex.” She could feel the heat in her cheeks. She whispered, “I mean, please, Sir.”

“So you want to talk to her?”

Elaine hesitated. “Yes.” She wasn’t sure what to say to her. Her mind was rapidly going blank.

“I’ll let her know. I’ll give you ten minutes to talk to her then call you back.”

And he was gone. Elaine pressed ‘call end’ and stared at her phone, trying to remember what she was going to ask. She didn’t have time to remember. Her phone started ringing almost straight away. After pressing the call button, she held it to her ear. “Hello? This is Elaine.”

“Hi, Elaine. This is Leah.”

She sounded nice.

“Nice to um, meet you, I guess,” said Elaine. “Sorry if this is inconvenient.” She sat up straighter.

“Not at all, I’m glad to hear Gary is hooking up again.”

“Um, about that…”

“It’s fine,” said Leah. “I have no secrets. I married the man who was right for me. I’m incredibly happy and I don’t mind if the world knows it.”

“I’m pleased for you.”

“If I could take back what I did to Gary, I would. He’s a wonderful Dom and an amazing lover. He’ll take good care of you.”

“Then why?”

“Why didn’t I marry him?”

“I’m sorry, yes.”

“It’s so cute that you’re nervous. Are you a newbie?”

“Yes.” Elaine swallowed.

“He’ll be perfect for you. He talks a lot and makes you talk too. He’s an excellent communicator. I miss that sometimes. But anyway, I’m a bit closer to what you might call a ‘slave’ than a submissive. I don’t have limits in the same way subs do. The thrill of doing as my Master commands, of being entirely at his disposal, is what drives me, and that wasn’t the kind of relationship I had with Gary. While I was with him, I was happy… and God, I mean he’s so beautiful to look at. I wanted to have him. He was ‘a catch’, and going places… My vanilla side was talking. The trouble was, my limits weren’t being pushed. You know?”

“He wasn’t tough enough on you?”

“Yeah. Something like that. It was only as the wedding got closer and closer that I started freaking out about it. I should have called it off weeks earlier.” Elaine heard Leah sigh before continuing. “But, as fate would have it, the Master who let me go years earlier wanted me back. He was the one I dreamed about. He was the one I needed. So when he called on the day of the wedding, I went to him.”

“I understand.”

“Gary is one of the good ones. You’re in good hands.”

“Thank you for calling and reassuring me.”

“You’re welcome. I better get back to work.”

“Thanks again, Leah.”

“Good luck, Elaine.”

Shaking her head, Elaine was about to put her phone away when it rang again.

“Took you long enough.” Gary chuckled.

“We didn’t talk for that long.”

“I’m just teasing.”

“Hey! I asked you not to do that.” Elaine giggled.

“Not till after you were off the phone to Leah.”

“Nitpicker.”

He chuckled. “So is everything off? Do I cancel the royal visit?”

“Of course not. You knew she’d give you a glowing report.”

“Well, I didn’t exactly do anything wrong. Somewhere along the line she stopped talking to me. Next minute she was gone. I just thought it was wedding nerves. Everything else I found out later.”

“I like it when you blush. Do you want me to call you names now, Elaine? Hmmmm?”

“I… I don’t know.” She had a sense of déjà vu before Gary interrupted the thought.

“How wet is your cunt?”

He made it hard to breathe. “It’s… It’s getting wetter.”

“Are your nipples hard?”

“Very.”

“Can you see them through your top?”

Elaine looked down and gasped. “Yes!” She looked around again. No one was paying her any attention. She squirmed a little. This was sweet torture.

“Don’t forget you are not allowed to masturbate before the weekend.”

“So not fair,” Elaine said breathlessly.

“Slut.” The smile in his voice was unmistakeable. But so was the firmness. It made Elaine shiver and her thighs clenched tightly together. It was going to be a long week.

She whispered, “I can’t wait to see you, Sir.”

“I’m pleased you are eager.”

She loved pleasing him. It struck her every time he said it. “I want to please you.”

“Then be a good girl and meet me online at nine tonight. I might have a surprise for you.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“And no fucking yourself.”

“No, Sir.” She answered like the demand was a normal one.

“Good girl. I have to get back to the horses. Talk to you tonight.”

“Yes, Sir.” And he was gone again.

For a few minutes Elaine sat on the bench outside the library, calming herself. She marvelled at the ease with which she slipped into subspace with Gary. Or was it his ability to take her there? Or was he simply teasing her and she’d misunderstood the whole situation?

No, she thought, feeling the throb of her nipples slowly dissipating. They were still hard. And her panties were wet.

He knows exactly what I want, and he’s going to give it to me.

It was time to go to class. Time to concentrate.

She smiled.

She wasn’t hopeful.

Chapter 19

Climbing the stairs to her apartment, Elaine was tired but in a good mood. Snippets of her conversations with Leah and Gary had kept her smiling all day. It wasn’t until she’d arrived on the landing outside her front door that she was jolted by the memory of her roommate’s kiss.

What was that about?

Elaine wasn’t sure, but she thought Kendra had kissed her because of ‘stress’ and ‘high emotion’. Then again, maybe Kendra had always been attracted to Elaine, and her teasing sarcastic manner was a smokescreen.

Or, I’m going crazy, Elaine thought, shaking her head.

Turning the key in the door and slipping inside, immediately she realised someone was cooking something exotic. She felt her tummy rumble and her mouth water. She hadn’t eaten much all day.

“Hi!” yelled her roommates, hearing the front door.

‘Hi!” Elaine shouted back as she headed for her room. “I’ll be there in a minute!’

The first thing Elaine had to do was get out of her clothes. Then have a shower.

When time constraints forced her to wear her work uniform to college, Elaine felt ridiculous. She was so not a preppy, but on the rare days she didn’t have time to change she was regularly mistaken for one. But today it had been worth it. Today, between work and school, Elaine had tackled the necessary task of swinging by the clinic to pick up her medical report.

To her palatable relief, everything was fine. Of course. Thank God.

She wasn’t sure what she would have done if the report had contained adverse findings. She wasn’t even sure why she’d prepared herself for the possibility. She hadn’t BEEN with anyone yet. After reading the results, she’d laughed out loud and almost broke into a skip as she’d headed back to school.

Tonight she wanted to start organising her suitcase for the weekend, and the report had to be the first thing to go in. She wanted to make sure nothing stood in her way.

Stopping just inside the door to her bedroom, Elaine was halted by the sight of a plain paper package sitting in the centre of her bed. Investigating, she was thankful nothing on the outside gave away what was within, as she was pretty sure the parcel contained the D/s books she’d ordered online. As she unwrapped the package and confirmed its contents, she mused over the fact that one of her roommates placed it on her bed, coming close to knowing much more about Elaine than she cared to admit. It didn’t really make her nervous, just weird. The idea of ‘hiding’ her nature was a reality. Briefly she wished the world were different.

Sliding her suitcase from under her bed, Elaine put the books and the medical report inside, then zipped it up and slid it back.

Now to get changed, she thought, climbing to her feet and brushing off her knees.

Nakedly rummaging through her drawers, she sighed. Her long t-shirt style nightie, with Mickey Mouse on the front, was cute but not exactly ‘steamy’. Tossing it back in the drawer, she reminded herself to shop before the weekend.

And I need some A-team underwear too, she decided, choosing the regular white hipsters that felt soft and snug, like an old friend. A bra was out. It felt too good not having one on. Eleven hours in one of the damned things left marks she could see in her reflection.

Turning sideways and holding up her arm, Elaine had a thought.

I wonder if that’s what ‘welts’ look like?

In quick succession Elaine’s nipples hardened and her pussy warmed. Turning back to the mirror and staring at the red lines around her torso, she was assailed by images of Gary as a teacher, looming over her glistening body and demonstrating how things were used and how they felt.

The picture in Elaine’s mind made her gasp out loud. Bending at the waist, she held her gaze in the mirror as she crossed her legs as if needing to pee and squeezed hard. Hot flashes of pleasure rocketed across her skin.

Somehow Elaine caught herself before she went any further. Standing up straight and making fists with her hands, she clenched her teeth and shuddered with her efforts at self-control. Her pussy pulsed wetly, and a quiet, insistent voice started urging her to masturbate.

She knew she had to ignore it. She’d promised.

Somewhat desperately, she tried to recall the exact words, but couldn’t think of a justifiable way to break the vow she’d made. If I want it badly enough I’ll have to convince him to let me. The prospect made her swallow nervously. What if he won’t allow it? I’ll go crazy!

She gently cupped her pussy through her knickers and gave it a soft squeeze. She genuinely hoped it would give her relief. Alas, it was of no help whatsoever. With a sigh of resignation, she tried to get a hold of herself.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

“Wait!” squealed Elaine, stunned by the intrusion.

Chelsea’s voice came through her door. “Would Madam care to be escorted to her table? Dinner is served.”

“Just a minute!” Elaine managed to cry out.

“I’ll wait,” answered Chelsea.

Ugh, thought Elaine, a little annoyed. What’s going on now?

Hurriedly she pulled open the bottom drawer of the dresser and pulled out her long, light blue angora sweater. It was a Christmas present from her parents last year and was her favourite. She’d been looking forward to the day she could wear it. Memories of how lovely it felt had grown dim with the heat of summer. Now and then she’d opened the drawer, just to run her hand over it. It was so soft.

Thinking wickedly that she’d be almost naked under it, Elaine quickly pulled the oversized sweater over her head and halfway down her thighs. Her breath caught in her chest as she ran her fingers through her hair and the sliding wool caused her nipples to thicken and tingle. A hot blush rose in her cheeks. She tried to ignore it as she pulled open her door.

The sight of Kendra dishing up dinner made Elaine giggle. Kendra never cooked. Noticing the table was set for two, Elaine asked Chelsea if she was staying.

“I’ll eat something at work,” she said, winking and bending to light the candle on the table. “You two lovebirds have a nice evening at home together. If I’m lucky I’ll be late, so don’t wait up.”

Elaine was dumbstruck by Chelsea’s comment about ‘lovebirds’, and as soon as the front door closed she turned to Kendra and blurted, “Did you tell her you kissed me?”

Kendra chuckled. “Noooo, silly. ‘Lovebirds’ is just a figure of speech. I told her I wanted to do something nice for you ’cause you helped me out yesterday. That’s all. She was just teasing. You know what she’s like.”

“Oh,” said Elaine, unconvinced. “What did you tell her? I still don’t know what I can and can’t say.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll blow over. Do you want some wine?”

“Yeah, okay.” Elaine was glad for the diversion. “So what have you made? It smells delicious.”

Searching for sarcasm, Elaine was pleased she could find none. “I didn’t do much.”

“You cared,” said Kendra, serving the dishes and sitting down. “That meant a lot to me.”

“You’re welcome.” They shared smiles.

Dinner was delicious, and the next ten minutes were spent in silence as they enjoyed it. At last Kendra sat back, wiping her chin with a napkin. She looked at Elaine and said, “I should cook more often.”

“I’ll say,” replied Elaine, scraping her plate clean.

“My mom’s a really good cook. I should have listened when she tried to teach me.”

“Spilt milk,” said Elaine. She sat back and groaned, licking her lips and holding her tummy. “And anyway, I think you must have learned a few things. God. I’m so full. I couldn’t eat another thing.”

Kendra hopped up and started clearing the table. “I’ll wash up.”

“You’ve done enough,” said Elaine, pushing out her chair.

“No. I insist. I want you to relax. Maybe I can talk to you.”

“Um,” said Elaine, wincing at the fact that she felt suspicious. “Okay.”

“Would you like another wine?”

“I dunno. Do I need one?”

“I think so.”

“Okay then.”

“Coming right up.”

After topping up Elaine’s glass, Kendra organised the washing up but was quite clearly biting her lip as she did so. Elaine wondered what was troubling her.

“I, ah,” Kendra began, concentrating on a dish in her hands. She glanced at Elaine before continuing. “I think I’m a lesbian.”

Elaine rolled her eyes. “Yeah, and I’m the Pope.”

Kendra looked up from her task. “I’m serious.”

Sipping her wine, Elaine said, “Look, whoever you want to be is fine by me. Personally I think you like guys too much to be a lesbian. But hey, what would I know?”

“It’s all an act.”

Elaine still wasn’t sure whether Kendra was screwing with her head. “So what makes you think you’re a lesbian?” she asked.

“I want the feel and the touch of a woman. I want what only a woman can give. I’ve fantasised about it for years. I’m sorry I kissed you. That was pushy and I didn’t mean it. It was kind of uncontrolled, you know? Like, spur of the moment.”

“Uncontrolled is fine with a willing partner. But I wasn’t willing. And I won’t be. It isn’t you I want, Kendra.” Elaine could hardly believe her ears. It was the clearest and most forthright she’d managed with her roommates. She could feel herself blushing all over again.

Kendra hadn’t noticed. She was in her own world. Her shoulders slumped and she sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Kendra really, choose your own path. No one is going to despise you.”

“Tell that to my parents. I’m ‘wasting time’, according to them. They keep reminding me that college is eating away at my wedding fund, for God’s sake. They think I should be on my second kid by now.”

“You’d be on your third if you hadn’t made some really hard decisions.”

Kendra juggled some cutlery and dropped it in the sink. She sighed again and leaned on the edge. “I’m not proud of that.”

“I can tell.”

“I don’t know why I tempted fate. Maybe I just thought if I weren’t meant to be with a guy, it wouldn’t happen. Biology has a mind of its own, unfortunately.”

“That’s for sure.”

Finishing up at the sink, Kendra changed tack. “You know the other day, when I streaked down the stairs?”

“Yeah,” said Elaine. “I still can’t believe you were so calm.”

“I wasn’t. But it wasn’t ‘being naked in front of guys’ that was freaking me out. It was ‘being naked in front of girls‘.”

“I see,” said Elaine. She actually felt like she was in unchartered territory. To her, being curious about the female form wasn’t strange at all, and indeed the opposite might have been true, but it wasn’t something for which she yearned either. “That explains the kiss.”

“Yeah. I know you’re into this guy and everything. I’m not usually so impulsive.”

“Look…” Elaine said, after a moment. “‘What I think’ isn’t exactly important. What’s more important is for you to be honest with yourself, and to start working towards making yourself happy.”

“When I finish college, I can do that.”

“You’ll manage, whatever happens.”

“You think so?”

“You are resourceful and prepared to take risks. I think you could do anything you set your mind to, actually. You just have to decide what it is, and make sure it’s possible.”

Kendra nodded slowly. Finally she said, “I was propositioned by two different girls after that night.”

“No way,” said Elaine, suddenly remembering the girl who had cornered her. “The same thing happened to me. I think it was the day I was practically naked…” Saying the words reminded Elaine of how she was dressed at that moment.

Kendra bit her lip. “It made me so hot seeing you go out like that. I’m bad, aren’t I?”

“Yes!” Elaine cried playfully. “You were mean to me!” Another moment passed as they sipped their drinks and Elaine let Kendra decide where the conversation went. Strangely she was enjoying it.

“I wish I was as innocent as you,” Kendra said.

Elaine responded with the first thing that came into her mind. “Start over.”

“Yeah.” Kendra sighed again and put down her glass. Looking down at her hands, she said, “You’re just so beautiful. You and Chelsea both are and I feel intimidated sometimes. I dunno. I just wanted to feel your lips on mine.”

Elaine swallowed. “Taking something that isn’t yours is wrong.”

“I know.”

“Good.”

“Thanks, Elaine.”

“It’s okay. You’re welcome.”

“And any time you change your mind… You know…” Kendra winked.

“Arrrgh!” cried Elaine, laughing and tossing her napkin at her roommate.

**************************

An hour later Elaine was freshly showered and trying to work on Monday’s paper with little progress. She was almost resigned to packing her textbooks for the weekend. She had to admit her efforts were less than satisfactory. She had too much on her mind. She’d have to tell Gary about it.

This is all his fault, she thought, smiling. I better not blame him though.

Reluctantly closing her work, she sat back in the chair in front of her computer and chewed a fingernail. She never chewed her nails, but she didn’t know what to do with her hands. If she touched herself, even innocently, she could feel it. Scratching her thigh, touching the back of her hand… Even licking her lips felt sexual. Her heart wasn’t beating faster, just harder.

Now and then she’d curl her toes and try to tense and relax the muscles in her legs. She had to do it slowly so her pussy wouldn’t contract. It was very wet and she could feel her lips sliding against each other with every move she made. Keeping her legs open made her hot. Keeping them closed was maddening. Keeping them crossed drove her nuts. Sexual thoughts ran rampant through her mind, and she didn’t have the willpower to distract herself.

What day is it tomorrow? Thursday? God. I’m never going to make it. I’ll be a wreck if I meet him like this. I have to ask him about it. What am I saying? With the girls here, I’m not going to get a chance to play. I can’t even think straight. Are they going to be out tomorrow night? Did Chelsea say she was working? UGH!

Elaine wished the girls were out now. She climbed to her feet and crossed the room, closing her sliding window. She needed iced water and headed to the kitchen to get it.

“Hey, Elaine. You should watch this.” Kendra was on the couch, sipping wine with an open textbook on her lap. Kendra didn’t usually suggest programs on T.V.

Elaine was intrigued and asked, “What’s it about?”

“Salvador Dali.”

“Oh, I love him!” Elaine cried, leaning on the back of the couch. He was her favourite artist.

“Yeah, his stuff is awesome,” Kendra agreed, waving her hand as if hushing Elaine.

“I’ll just grab some water and I’ll join you.”

“There’s still a glass of wine left.”

Elaine figured it couldn’t hurt. “Okay.”

A minute later she was curled up in the single seater, watching the documentary. Embarrassingly, Elaine hadn’t been aware of the nice view of her ass she was displaying. With her legs tucked under herself and her body turned toward the T.V., the hem of her sweater had ridden up, not quite covering her ass and her pouting pussy, clad in tight white panties.

Reaching down to put her glass on the coffee table, Elaine noticed Kendra’s eyes on her butt. Kendra caught Elaine’s look and glanced back at the television without saying a word. Elaine swallowed and did the same, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks again. She wondered if her sweater was covering her and she tried to pull it under herself, wiggling a little as she did. She hoped she wasn’t wet down there.

When the next lot of advertisements came on, Kendra relented. “Um, Elaine?”

“Yes?”

“You’re um…” Kendra pointed. “Half your pussy is showing.”

“Oh, gross. Sorry.” How embarrassing! Abruptly Elaine twisted into a sitting position and pulled the sweater under her ass. Nervously she reached for her wine, almost knocking it over. Stopping herself from fanning her face, self-consciously she stared at the T.V., taking a large gulp of wine. The leg band of her panties was cutting her up the middle and she longed to fix it.

“You mean you didn’t do it on purpose?” Kendra asked insistently.

“No!” said Elaine, crossing her legs. “God, Kendra. It was an accident.”

Elaine thought if Kendra hadn’t, then she would still be getting an eyeful. “Let’s just forget about it.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

Elaine tasted her wine again and returned her gaze to the television. Her nipples were hard. She wasn’t sure if the bumps could be seen through the hairy wool and she wasn’t going to look down to check. For a second she thought she noticed the scent of her pussy. It felt really juicy.

I bet Kendra would love to make me cum.

The wicked image of Kendra looking up at her from between her legs assaulted Elaine, almost making her gag on the wine she was sipping. She blinked, hardly believing she’d had the thought in the first place. She glanced at her roommate. Kendra hadn’t noticed Elaine had started to breathe harder.

I have to get out of here! “Um, I better go study.”

“It’s nearly over.”

Unsteadily Elaine climbed to her feet. “I just have to get back to it.” She wasn’t even sure why she was explaining.

“Okay. I think I might have an early night.” Kendra winked.

Elaine knew exactly what she meant. “Uh, okay. G’night.”

“Night, Elaine.”

It was only a few steps to the hallway, but Elaine knew Kendra’s eyes were burning into her ass.

Ugh, she thought as she walked down the hall. Now I’m even contemplating my roommate getting me off. I bet it’s because I can’t play. What’s wrong with me? And damn Kendra for embarrassing me, and then flaunting the fact that SHE’S going to masturbate. Bitch!

Closing her bedroom door behind her, Elaine slipped off her stupid panties and tossed them in The Washing Basket.

Knock, knock.

Elaine turned to her door just in time to see Kendra wrapped in a towel and holding out the wine Elaine had left in the lounge room. “I topped this up for… oops, sorry.” She giggled, covering her mouth and ‘accidentally’ dropping the towel to the floor.

Elaine’s eyes bugged out. She was mortified! Her leaden feet felt like they were glued to the floor. “Kendra!” she shrieked.

“You didn’t answer, so I figured it was okay to come in,” she said, still chuckling as she picked up the towel and draped it over her shoulder, hiding nothing. She put Elaine’s glass on top of her wardrobe and said, “Jeez, look at us. It’s like we can’t help it.”

“I’m half naked here!” Elaine gasped. “Can you please leave so I can put something on? You hardly gave me a chance to answer you.”

Words flowed into Elaine’s mind and straight out of her mouth. “When you knock, wait for me to answer you. If I don’t answer, then don’t come in. This is MY space. Don’t invade it without my permission.”

“What’s got into you?”

“They’re the rules, Kendra.”

“Okay. I’m sorry. I’m going.”

As soon as her door was closed, Elaine started pacing back and forth across her room, one hand on her thumping heart.

THAT’S what I don’t like about vanilla. ‘Seduction’ is SO hit and miss. No one knows anything! It’s like ‘complete luck’ that anyone ever finds a person who is right for them! There’s no communication! There’s no control!

Angrily Elaine slipped on some fresh panties and winced at how wet she was.

This is getting ridiculous.

‘Bong!’ went her machine as Gary logged on. She glanced at the clock before scurrying over. He was about an hour early and Elaine was ecstatic. And surprised. And worried!

I’ll get a towel in a minute, she thought, feeling her nerves beginning to jangle as she typed, “Hello, Gary.” She added a big grin.

“Greetings, Elaine.” He was typing again and Elaine dutifully waited, anxious to hear his words. Soon enough, they arrived. “I’ve worked very hard today to get here early. I’m tired and I don’t know how long I’ll last, but I have a lot to cover tonight so I’m hoping for very few distractions.”

Fuck, thought Elaine. I’m never going to get to cum. She swallowed, hoping she’d soon calm down. “Yes, Sir,” she typed. “Looking up at you and listening.”

“Chuckles. Sometimes I get a bit ‘single-minded’, little one.”

Elaine wasn’t sure what he meant, but she loved what he called her. “That’s okay.”

“Climb onto my lap. You are relaxed and content, cuddling in my arms. Your legs are open just a little and you can feel my hand resting on your thigh.”

Elaine realised she was swinging her knees back and forth and she bit her lip as she typed, “Smiles up at you.”

“Have you had a good day?” he asked.

Elaine didn’t know where to start. “It’s been so weird.”

“I’m looking forward to hearing all about it.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“And don’t worry about your journal tonight.”

Elaine had forgotten all about it! “Thank you,” she typed, feeling a bit guilty.

“I’m sorry, Sir.” Elaine chewed her lip some more as she watched Gary type.

“You know, one of the first things I’m going to do is spank you. You are too adorable to go ‘unspanked’ for one minute longer than is necessary.”

“Sir!”

“Are you saying you’re not adorable?” He sent the face with the tongue poking out.

“No. I just…”

“Chuckles and kisses your forehead. Relax. Talking about ‘spanking’ has reminded me of something. I’d like you to look over your BDSM Checklist and let me know if you make any changes.”

Elaine thought that was a good idea. “Okay. I will.”

“Good girl.”

She recrossed her legs before typing, “I don’t feel like a good girl.” She followed her message with a blushing face. Her perspiration was accumulating on her top lip and she drew her finger across it, gathering the sweet sweat and sucking it off.

“Are you all right?”

“I’m just ‘on edge’, Gary. I’m sorry.”

“Tell me what’s going on.”

Elaine thanked God they were going to get to talk about this. She took a deep breath. “I told you that ‘telling me I couldn’t cum’ would make things really hard. Well, I’m going crazy.”

“Such little self-control.”

“I’ve been good! I just can’t get the idea out of my head.”

“All right.”

“I must be radiating sex or something. Even my roommate is coming onto me. I need to cum so badly and I’m getting all confused and my schoolwork is suffering. When I woke up this morning my jaw was tired from clenching my teeth all night!”

“Your roommate is coming onto you?”

“Yes!”

“And you’re wet?”

“I’ve been wet for two days. Please let me play before I see you. I promise I’ll try to control myself, but if I really can’t stop myself, ‘knowing I can’ would be so helpful.” Elaine gulped. “Please?”

“You realise you’re begging me to allow you to play with yourself.” He sent a wink.

“Blushes.”

“You’re acting like a horny little slut, aren’t you?”

“Pouts and nods. And you won’t believe what’s been going on with Kendra.”

“Tell me what happened.”

Elaine sighed and began typing, describing the strange incidents, even admitting her bizarre thought of having her roommate get her off. Gary chuckled when she told him about the dropped towel incident and Kendra’s meek response when Elaine put her foot down. She also confessed that she thought if she had the chance, she’d be playing two or three times a day. The effect of denying the chance to play had an exponential effect on her need. It hadn’t been expected. She knew it was going to be hard, but she hadn’t thought it was going to make her go cross-eyed.

“Chuckles. Okay, Okay. Relax and listen to me. I want you to remember something. You have not formally submitted to me in any way, shape or form. At the moment, our motivation is simply voluntary. We are enjoying each other, and we do things because we want to. That’s all. I was never going to stop you masturbating. Nor would I punish you if you had broken our deal.”

“You wouldn’t have?”

“Nope.”

“I’ve been tearing my hair out all evening over this.”

“Chuckles.” He sent the face with the big grin. “Poor baby.”

The relief Elaine felt was palpable. Her muscles relaxed and her body flushed head to foot. With the mental shackles removed, she briefly tweaked her aching nipples, causing her breath to catch in her chest. She realised what she was doing and quickly typed, “I’m sorry, Sir. I’m sure it’ll be easier after the weekend.”

“We’ll see.” He sent a warm smile. “In the meantime, you can put on your nipple clamps under your sweater. Go get them.”

Elaine sent the surprised face with the mouth gaping open!

“Don’t make me wait,” Gary urged, sending a grin.

“You’re mean.”

“And you’re being teased. Now scoot. When you get back, I’ll send you that surprise I promised.”

“Be right back.” Leaping from the chair, Elaine raced over to her wardrobe and grabbed the clamps. Thankfully she remembered to get a towel. She knew she was going to need it.

It was strange being reminded that she hadn’t actually submitted to Gary. She felt that in so many ways, she already had. It was true that he was playing with her already. And she loved it. But he hadn’t pushed her at all. He was right. And she was pleased about it. She knew she could choose to do, or not do, anything she liked. She didn’t want to choose to play. Not after she’d promised. She sighed.

I ‘wanted’ to please him. That’s what I chose. That’s how easy it was. I just chose. Two more days. That’s all.

Fuck.

Two days!

In moments she was back at her desk and shaking like a leaf. “I have them, Sir,” she typed. “But can I say something first?”

“Sure, little one.”

Elaine blushed. “I want to hold up my end of our agreement. I won’t play until I see you.”

“Okay. I’m impressed. And I’m looking forward to being with you a lot.”

“Blushes.”

“Now pinch your fucking nipples till they’re nice and hard then pop the clamps on lightly. You can leave them on longer that way.”

In a minute Elaine’s heart was thumping and so were her nipples. The clamps weren’t that tight. It was like her nipples were being held. Her pussy was so wet it was ridiculous. She swallowed and typed, “They’re on.”

In moments Gary’s email arrived. Nervously Elaine opened it and found it was a short note with an attachment. The note simply said, ‘Here is our draft contract. Please review it and we’ll talk about it. Gary.’

Elaine shook with a mixture of awe and trepidation. Things were getting serious. They’d ratcheted up another level. With a trembling hand, she manoeuvred her mouse and clicked it open.

And she read it.

Chapter 20

Dated this day, the 5th of May, 2006

For the purpose of providing a framework over which both parties have equal control, this contract informally binds the signatories below to its contents. Either party may ‘opt out’ of this agreement at any time. ‘Opting out’ may be defined as ceasing to observe this contract in any way. It is binding only insofar as it is accepted to be.

Gary Paul Duke (known in this contract as ‘the Dominant’), hereby offers Elaine Milanovic (known in this contract as ‘the Submissive’), his guidance and dominance over her, for the period beginning on Friday the 5th of May 2006, up to and including Sunday, the 7th of May 2006.

During this period, the Dominant agrees to:

1. Use his knowledge and experience to provide a safe, sane and consensual environment in which the Submissive may learn and grow,

2. Treat the Submissive with respect and tenderness where appropriate, mindful of the gravity of the decisions that have brought her to this moment in her life,

3. Teach the Submissive, through question and answer sessions and by practical demonstration, how to please the Dominant and how to become a more pleasing submissive in general,

4. Communicate with the Submissive to the best of his ability, keeping her informed of the choices he is making in regard to her, and

5. Discipline the Submissive in a consistent, measured and proportional manner, where appropriate and with her inexperience in mind, and only where the Submissive explicitly accepts the nature, scale and scope of the said discipline.

During this period, the Submissive agrees to:

1. Be pleasing to the Dominant,

2. Show proper respect to the Dominant,

3. Acquiesce to the Dominant’s will, where and when said will is exercised in a safe, sane and consensual manner,

4. Be honest and openly communicate with the Dominant, and

5. Use her safe word, ‘Pineapple’, when, and only when, the safety, sanity or consensuality of a given scene is in question.

We the undersigned accept the roles of ‘Dominant’ and ‘submissive’ as we choose to define them, and in full knowledge of their meaning to us.

This contract is entered into voluntarily.

By the time she’d finished reading, Elaine was trembling. At the bottom of the contract were two dotted lines where she and Gary would sign. Right under where she was to sign, her name appeared in bold type, and below it, ‘Submissive‘. The words caught her attention and she was sucked into the vortex of their implications.

She stared at them, unnerved by their physical proximity to each other, stunned by the realisation that this was actually happening. In the most civilised of ways, a legalistic contract, the point of no return had been mapped out before her. She’d be signing her name as ‘Elaine Milanovic. Submissive.’ The words on the screen swirled and shimmered as thoughts danced through her mind.

Have I forgotten anything? Is there something I haven’t done? Something I haven’t checked?

When Elaine blinked, welled up tears unexpectedly spilled over her cheeks. Reaching for a tissue, she smiled ruefully and shook her head as she dabbed her eyes.

“Are you finished reading?” Gary asked.

Elaine sighed before responding, “Yes. I’m sorry, I was just thinking.”

“That’s okay,” he typed. “Remove the clamps.”

“Yes, Sir. Thank you.”

She’d actually completely forgotten about them. From previous experience she expected the worst when she took them off. Gritting her teeth as they came free, she instead gasped aloud as her teased nipples throbbed lewdly. Her eyes fluttered closed and she swayed with the unstoppable sensations, her hands gently holding her breasts through her sweater. The painful heat she experienced last time was quickly forgotten. Suddenly conscious of how long she’d been distracted, Elaine’s eyes shot open.

“You know, like a microphone and headphones for the computer? I’ll show you ‘real’.” He sent a wink.

“Oh.” Elaine liked listening to CD’s while she studied and had a set of headphones. She’d never had need for a microphone. She let Gary know and he told her to fetch the headset and she did. When she returned, he sent a request to begin an ‘audio conversation’ and Elaine flushed as she clicked ‘accept’. For a few moments the program hesitated as it connected. Then it crackled and fell silent. Elaine held her breath.

In his smooth, deep voice Gary asked, “Can you hear me?”

Elaine panted and typed, “Yes!” She had to fix her typing errors twice! On one word! She hastily sent a smile as a shiver of pleasure raced down her spine and wrapped itself around her tailbone.

“Good,” he said, the smile apparent in his voice.

Elaine tried to concentrate, but the sound of Gary’s voice in her ears was almost overwhelming. Her skin was coming alive, and fast. Goosebumps broke out down her arms and legs and her swollen nipples grappled for her attention. Before she had a chance to type anything, Gary was talking again.

“I’d like you to get a microphone one of these days.”

“I’ll be so nervous talking to you like this,” Elaine typed. Gary sounded so calm. She wished she were more like him sometimes. Besides, Elaine liked being able to type. At least she could think before she opened her big mouth. It would be different when she was kneeling in front of him. She shuddered. Remembering the thin walls of her apartment, she managed to type, “I’d have to whisper.”

“Then buy a good one or I won’t be able to hear you.”

“Okay.” She sent a smile. “I will.”

“Good girl. Now, about this contract,” Gary continued.

“Yes, Sir,” Elaine responded, this time more quickly, trying to keep up with him.

“Remember it’s symbolic. It’s a ‘statement of intent’ rather than a bona fidecontract.”

“I understand Sir,” Elaine sent. “I mean, thank you. I don’t have any issues with it. I like it and I’d be happy to sign it.”

“If?” he asked, leaving the word hanging.

“…If I was sure ‘the lifestyle’ was right for me.” Sometimes she felt certain, while at other times she questioned whether she could handle the entire scenario. For Elaine, one core issue remained. ‘Was she truly submissive, or had she convinced herself of the ‘fact’?’ The concern was set to dog Elaine for the next twenty-four hours until she signed the contract. Until that moment, she couldn’t really know.

Gary’s voice was warm but firm as he spoke deliberately. “It is right for you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because you’ve pursued it vigorously from the day you discovered it,” Gary said softly. “It’s no longer a curiosity or a whim or a kink. It’s a full-blown desire to know the freedom of giving the gift of your submission. It’s a longing for a relationship with a level of trust you can find nowhere else.”

Gary was on a roll now, and Elaine sat listening, remembering some of his lessons as he reiterated them. “You are very lucky. On the net, most potential submissives that make the mistake of allowing themselves to be raced off by the first guy that comes along with a ‘Dom’ sign around his neck, end up with someone as inexperienced as they are. They don’t read up on what to expect and they rush headlong into something that may bear little resemblance to safe, sane and consensual D/s. Disillusioned, they retreat into erotic literature and daydreaming of what it could be like in a perfect world, never having had the opportunity to discover that it exists. The luck involved in meeting each other in the first place, then living so conveniently close to each other in the second, is substantial. For both of us.

“You see, this isn’t a one way street either. I have recognised that you have been busy wrestling with the concepts of submission, D/s, and whether or not I am the right one to introduce you to the lifestyle. But I’ve been busy too.

“I’ve made sure you were serious because I’m not about to waste my time with someone who is seeking a thrill or whose heart isn’t in it. I’ve made sure you are ‘in the range’ of submissive that is most likely to please me. To me, your submissiveness is obvious and I’ve never questioned your nature. What I havechecked is our compatibility and you have jumped over every hurdle and through every hoop I’ve put in front of you. Enthusiastically. I’ve found you to be sensitive and sensible. You’re intelligent and you’ve exercised good judgement and self-control.”

Elaine loved listening to his voice, even though she wasn’t convinced of her self-control at all. “I don’t know about that.”

Gary chuckled. “Did I mention humble?”

Elaine’s lips glistened as she ran her tongue over them, wetting her dry mouth. “No.” She sent the blushing face.

“But seriously, it’s true. I agree that the odds of us meeting, and finding each other, and being right for each other, are astronomical. But so far, that’s what has happened. I also agree that the past two weeks have been crazy and we have done things pretty quickly. But I’d like to think our shared enthusiasm has brought us to the position we are in, and that I haven’t rushed you into anything. If I’m not right about that, then I’d like to know.”

“You haven’t rushed me,” Elaine typed.

“Good. We’ve done everything by the book. We are both driven to dot the ‘I’s’ and cross the ‘T’s’, you know.”

“But what if I can’t do it? What if I’ve misread who I am? What if I’m not submissive at all?”

“I’m smiling here.”

“Why?” Elaine asked, the heat in her cheeks rising.

“You DO realise that being unsure of yourself is a delightfully submissive characteristic, don’t you?”

“I thought submissives knew what they wanted.”

“Not at the beginning. At the start most submissives have no idea what they want. All they know is, ‘it feels right’. And ‘it’s so exciting’. Apart from that, not much is actually known. They have lots of ideas though.”

“And on that basis they meet someone to dominate them?”

“Sadly, sometimes they do. They don’t take the time to know themselves or to know the person they are willing to meet. They make mistakes in their haste.”

“I don’t want to make mistakes.”

“Of course not. And that’s what I’m saying.”

“What are you saying?”

“I am saying that you haven’t made a mistake about this. The lifestyle IS for you, and you are definitely submissive. And I don’t want you to think that you are not a good submissive either. You want to learn and read and you are actively pursuing your self-improvement. You listen and you are conscious of yourself and of what you are doing. You are honest and giving. And you blush so beautifully. Did you know that most submissives blush? Did you know that most submissives are intelligent, thoughtful people? It’s not shameful to be submissive at all. NOT finding the lifestyle would have been the real tragedy.”

Elaine found herself nodding silently. She swallowed. “I might never have found the way to reach my full potential.”

The smile in Gary’s voice had returned. “That’s my girl.”

Elaine squeezed her thighs together as the words rang in her ears. That’s my girl.Butterflies took over her stomach.

Gary sounded more relaxed as he continued to explain. “Look, everyone is different and the extent varies, but there are three major things most submissives seem to have in common. The first is a deep and abiding desire ‘to be pleasing’. This is true in ninety-nine percent of submissives. The trait is not the exclusive domain of subs though. Lots of people desire the approval of others to validate who they are, so it’s by no means a defining characteristic. But it’s almost a prerequisite.

“The second thing most subs have in common is a physically pleasurable response to aspects of the lifestyle that appeal to them. If for example you like the idea of being tied up, as a submissive it doesn’t just appeal to you on a curiosity level, but on a physical level. In other words, a potential submissive who is interested in bondage getswet when she thinks about being restrained or helpless.”

Elaine bit her lip and wondered if getting wet for no reason also qualified. She had to focus. Gary was talking again.

“And the third thing most subs have in common is a strong desire for anyrelationship to be simple, clear, consistent and structured. Submissives don’t take any shit, and people who don’t communicate well, don’t impress them. Submissives who have discovered their nature are more careful with whom they share themselves. They know how vulnerable they are and they take steps to protect themselves, not just when they arrive in the lifestyle. Often it begins with family and friends. Sound familiar?”

Elaine couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, Sir.”

Gary chuckled. “In summary, submissives observe keenly, are sexually responsive, and they don’t play games. To me you are quite clearly, and beautifully, a submissive woman. And I wouldn’t be as attracted to you if you weren’t. If you weren’t, and I saw you, I might wish you were a sub though…”

Elaine thought Gary was amazing. Somehow he’d made her feel better, all over again. “I hope I’m good for you,” she typed, before she’d given it a second thought.

“You will be.”

Elaine breathed. Her cheeks were burning. “I’m just nervous, I guess. I’ll be okay.”

“But it’s exciting.”

Gary’s comment made Elaine clench. She’d been desperately trying to ignore the heat and wetness below. Breathing heavily, she pondered his argument and her bodily reactions. She couldn’t disagree. Gary’s words were comforting to her mind, but her pussy was already convinced. “Whispers… Yes. It is.”

He seemed to hesitate before replying. “For me too.”

Spearing into Elaine’s mind came the vision of Gary adjusting his cock in his jeans. Elaine chewed her lip, unsure of what to say. Her fingers trembled as they rested on the keyboard. The desire to masturbate had returned with a vengeance.

Thankfully Gary interrupted her thoughts, but she was still surprised when he said, “Pull up my picture.”

Elaine hadn’t looked at it since the day before yesterday. “Okay,” Elaine typed, opening Paint from the Start menu and opening the file. Gary’s manly grin filled the screen and Elaine’s scalp prickled. Now I remember why I haven’t been looking at his picture, she thought, mesmerised by his eyes. Elaine clicked on their conversation, bringing it to the front, then moved it to the side so she could look at him while they talked. “It’s up,” she typed.

“Good. Now, concentrate.”

“Yes, Sir.” She sat up straighter, gazing at him. Short, shallow breaths wracked her chest as she waited for Gary to speak. When he finally did, he emphasised words in a calming, rhythmic tone.

“You have not arrived here by accident… And, as tempting as it is to believe, you are not here because of ‘fate’… You are here because you know what you need. And that need is overwhelming. You might hesitate, but you won’t change your mind, because you know this is right for you… Here and now, at this time in your life, this is what you have to choose.”

“You’ve done your homework. You know what you should know. You are safe because you did what you had to do. My lifestyle friends have vouched for me, as have my acquaintances. You spoke with my ex. You know I’m who I say I am. You’ve made a good, solid choice, Elaine. You are safe. The only thing left to do is to discuss the specifics. Then you’ll be ready for me.”

Elaine had a little smile at the corners of her mouth by the time Gary had finished. He was right of course. She’d let herself get wound up and hadn’t been able to stop. Inexplicably tears formed in her eyes all over again. “Thank you for being so patient with me. I feel like such a burden.”

“You are not a burden. Your concerns are completely normal. And I hope everything I do continues to foster your trust and liberates you.”

.

In one sentence, Gary had nailed her. Thoughts and images swirled through Elaine’s mind. He was right. She would be okay. It was going to be amazing. And she was dying to know more about the ‘specifics’. It was something they hadn’t spoken much about at all. Well, apart from ‘in a general sense’, when they talked about the checklists. If only there were more time. She glanced at the clock. It was getting late. “Sir?” she typed.

“You have to go to bed?” he asked, reading her mind.

She smiled. “Yes. I don’t want to, but I have an early start.”

“Such a good girl.”

Hearing the words, Elaine melted. She really didn’t want to leave. Remembering how much she had yet to do on her paper, she pouted. Reluctantly she typed, “Would it be okay if I have to bring some books on the weekend? I have a paper to finish.” She sent a sad frown.

“Of course it is. You can use my desk while I see to the horses. I’ll make sure you have a few hours to study.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“Welcome. You better get to bed.”

One more minute, she thought. “May I ask one more question?”

“Sure.”

“Don’t you ever get sick of reassuring me?”

“Not at all. Until you know me, and until you know yourself, there will be lots of hesitation.”

“I’m nodding to myself here.”

“Good. And I’m smiling.”

“May I hug you please?”

“Sure,” he said softly. “I’m cuddling you warmly.”

“Holds on tightly. Thank you for my surprise. The contract I mean. I’ll take a good look at it tomorrow.” God. Thursday.

“You’re welcome. I’ll be seeing you soon, little one.”

Elaine felt a rush of blood as she typed, “I know I’ve said it before, but I really can’t wait.”

“Me either.” He typed a smile. “Good night, Elaine.”

“Good night, Sir.”

Clicking off the computer, Elaine sat dazed in her chair, finally catching her breath. After a minute or so, she picked up the nipple clamps from beside the computer. Wicked little things, she thought, glancing down at the twin peaks in her angora sweater. She didn’t need to see her nipples to know they were hard and very sensitive.

Shaking her head, she climbed to her feet and gingerly walked over to the wardrobe. “Oh,” she said under her breath, surprised by the delicious sensations of the wool caressing her swaying breasts.

As she hid the clamps away, Elaine stared longingly at her vibe and dildo before backing out of the wardrobe.

I can make it, she convinced herself, gritting her teeth as she stood and readied herself for bed.

***************************

My God. It’s Friday TOMORROW.

Elaine’s body tingled as she stood in front of the bathroom mirror, plucking a few stray eyebrows and fixing her hair with some of Kendra’s hairspray. After brushing her teeth, she joined her roommates for coffee before she headed to work.

“Good morning!” Elaine said cheerfully as she entered the kitchen. She was a bit surprised they were both up. Kendra had a mouthful of toast so she waved as she chewed and smiled.

Chelsea greeted her. “Morning, Elaine. You sound chipper.”

“Um, I slept well.” Inwardly Elaine shook her head. Sometimes it’s too easy to lie, she thought, remembering how she’d tossed and turned for an hour before sleep claimed her. She changed the subject while helping herself to the already made coffee. “How did work go? Did you get lucky?”

“Pfft. No. The manager is gay. Can you believe it?”

Elaine glanced at Kendra who shrugged. Elaine wasn’t sure what to say, so she said what every frustrated young woman says. “Why is it that all the good ones are either gay or married?”

Kendra chuckled.

Chelsea shook her head ruefully as she nursed her cup. “A whole bunch of us went drinking for a couple of hours and he and I flirted until we left. He dropped the bombshell on the drive home. ‘I just want to be friends,’ he said. And when I put on my sexiest voice and told him ‘I didn’t just want to be friends’, he told me he was gay!”

Elaine chuckled. “A male friend, eh? Preposterous!”

“Oh, stop it. I have male friends. Well, more like ex-lovers but they keep sniffing at my back door.”

Elaine almost spilt the milk she was pouring as she joined in nervously. She was pretty sure they were talking about assholes. Or anal sex or something. In a few of the stories she’d read she’d heard the word ‘backdoor’ used instead of ‘anus’. She’d never heard it said ‘out loud’ like that though. It sounded dirty. Her own backdoor clenched.

The emphasis Chelsea had put on her comment wasn’t lost on her roommates. They both glanced at her and Elaine smiled when she realised Chelsea was blushing. Elaine felt her own nipples tingling. Damn those clamps, she thought.

With a mischievous smile Kendra said, “Only nasty girls take it up the ass.”

“Then I’m not very nasty,” said Chelsea, rising to her feet. “And I’m going to the library before class. I have some research to do, believe it or not.”

In the ensuing moments as Chelsea got herself together to leave, Elaine sat idly at the table, sipping her brew. She wondered if Chelsea was a little bit submissive. Gary had said, ‘Most submissives blush’. But Chelsea didn’t fit the profile. She got too pissed off when she didn’t get her own way. Elaine smiled to herself at her silly thoughts as Chelsea left for school.

As soon as the front door closed, over the rim of her mug Kendra asked, “What about you?”

“What about me?” Elaine responded, broken from her reverie.

“Are you a nasty girl?”

“Huh?”

“Are you a nasty girl? Do you take it up the ass?” Kendra was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“Kendra!”

“Well?” she asked, with mock indignity.

“Even if I did, as if I’d tell you!” Elaine unnervingly she felt like she was thirteen again.

After a brief moment of silence, Kendra seemed to change tack. “I used to play with both… you know, holes. That’s how I knew. That ‘filled’ feeling was just like, Mmmmmm.”

Elaine shook her head, trying to dislodge thoughts of the very same feeling. Her face felt hot and her temples were pounding. She didn’t want to lie, yet she didn’t want to prolong the conversation more than necessary. She knew Kendra was toying with her. “I’d rather not have this conversation,” Elaine said, rising to her feet and heading to the sink.

“Ah, so you DO take it up the ass.”

Elaine rinsed her cup and dried her hands. She would have actually liked a sensible conversation on the topic. “Do you have to be so vulgar?”

“Girl,” said Kendra with a dismissive chuckle, “By the size of your man’s package, ‘me being vulgar’ is the least of your worries.”

Elaine held on to the edge of the sink as a wave of light-headedness washed over her. When she looked up, Kendra smirked at her, which did nothing for Elaine’s burning cheeks.

“I’m just trying to be helpful,” Kendra continued. “You have a pretty ass. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted to fuck it.”

Elaine’s breathing was coming short and shallow. This wasn’t how she’d imagined a conversation concerning anal sex would go. She wanted to run from the room! She needed courage. She might not get a better chance to ask! The thought of her BDSM checklist, of how she had informed Gary that she wanted to try anal, kept her riveted to the floor. She tried to ignore Kendra’s graphic comment, forlornly hoping for a pearl of wisdom. Swallowing her embarrassment, she asked, “Wh… What should I do?”

“Get a butt plug that’s comparable to his cock.”

“I…” Elaine almost blurted out that she had one. Then she paled at the memory of what she had seen outlined in Gary’s jeans. Oh God! she thought. And Kendra had seen the discarded packaging of Elaine’s sex toys in her backpack last week. Maybe she KNEW Elaine’s plug was too small to adequately prepare her for Gary’s size. How embarrassing! “I… I’ve gotta go.”

“Okay,” Kendra said with a wink. “I’m going for a shower.”

**********************

Elaine’s morning at work was dominated by thoughts of being tied down and gagged while Gary forced his enormous cock painfully up her ass. Thankfully she reminded herself that he’d promised not to tie her up unless she begged him. Fleetingly she wondered if it would be easier if she were restrained. She hoped he was planning to be gentle.

Work went slowly, but was finally done. Then she caught the wrong bus. Incorrect by one number, the bus veered away from the mall, instead heading back toward the school. Cursing under her breath, she quickly got off the wayward bus. Whether it was fate, or just a bizarre result of a simple mistake, when Elaine looked around to decide whether to head back to the mall on foot, she found she was standing in front of the Adult Emporium sex shop.

This is just too weird, she thought to herself as she took a deep breath and pushed open the door. Almost like I did it on purpose…

The gaudily dressed woman in her fifties was still there, nonchalantly doing her nails behind the front counter. She looked up from her task as Elaine approached, her face breaking into a wide smile. “Ah,” she said. “Repeat customers. That’s what I like.” She winked and Elaine blushed hotly. She was grateful the woman was so nice. “How can I help you this time, dear?”

Elaine couldn’t believe the words she was holding back, right on the tip of her tongue. But there was no way around it. She had to ask for what she wanted. “I need… I mean, I have to get a larger butt plug.”

“Okay, let’s take a look at what we have,” said the kindly older woman as if it were a request she’d heard a million times.

“Um, thanks.”

Elaine was led to the toy counter and aided in her selection by the woman’s helpful advice. Turning over a one inch wide flesh-toned butt plug in her hands as the woman spouted its virtues was surreal. It was twice as thick as the one she had, and at least an inch longer. She thought if she could manage it without too much trouble, she might be able to take Gary.

“Just take your time. Your ass is quite elastic and should handle that okay, as long as it isn’t forced. Taking ten or so minutes wouldn’t be unusual, even after practicing with the smaller one.”

Elaine nodded. “Okay.”

“Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“I um, I don’t think so.”

“Maybe I can interest you in these,” she said, moving down to the next counter. It was the BDSM one. Taking a pair of anklets from under the glass bench top, she laid them over Elaine’s hands. They tinkled sweetly. “Slave bells,” she said, smiling.

“Slave bells?”

The woman nodded. “Don’t ask me, love. I just sell the stuff.” She winked.

They were pretty. Elaine agreed to the added purchase and the two women made their way back to the front counter. On a whim Elaine wondered if the store had any lingerie. Maybe she could save a trip to the mall. “Do you have anything like um, appropriate to wear for bed?”

“We only have fetish wear, honey. Rubber and vinyl stuff, nurse’s uniforms, that kind of thing. What were you looking for?”

“I don’t know. Something sexy?”

“You better ask him.”

“Who?”

“Your man. Only he knows what turns him on. Buying for yourself is fun, but it’s not really for yourself, is it?”

“No.”

“Then you should ask first before you buy.”

“That’s good advice. Thanks.”

“Welcome. That comes to seventeen twenty including tax.”

“Oh, yes. Sorry.”

Elaine stepped out into the sun and shielded her eyes while they adjusted. Her purchases were safely tucked away in her backpack, this time without the packaging. She was NOT going to be caught out again. She smiled. Good advice was hard to come by, and hearing the woman tell her she should ask Gary had struck a definite chord.

As soon as the old woman had said it, Elaine knew she was right. She just KNEW it. And she couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of it herself. She might have wasted a whole bunch of money on something Gary might not have liked. Not to mention an hour or so of time.

Elaine hid her giggle behind her hand as she strode across the quadrangle and started up the stairs to her apartment. Rather than simply being ‘constructive’, Elaine thought the larger plug was about ‘harm minimisation’. For some reason she found the idea quite funny. She wasn’t sure when she’d get the chance to try it, but she was quite anxious to see how it went. At least Gary would approve.

It will be okay as long as I don’t masturbate as well, she thought. Her clit tightened, sending an intrepid tingle ricocheting around her body. For a moment she stopped and held the railing on the stairs, catching her breath. Her bubbling desires had been quietly biding their time, hidden at the back of her mind while she took care of her responsibilities. Suddenly she realised she had to change her underwear.

She was glad she hadn’t gone lingerie shopping. At least now she had a chance to get out of her work clothes.

She gulped as she turned the key.

A wave of relief washed over Elaine when she realised she was the only one home. Sometimes it was nice to face the silence of an empty apartment. Hurrying to her room, she changed into her comfortable jeans, and a long sleeved t-shirt over a tank. Her bra had driven her mad all morning and she decided to forgo it. Being braless was much more comfortable. Besides, the idea was strangely erotic, bringing memories of her outrageous behaviour of a week ago.

Getting her mind on the job, she booted up and logged on, emailing Gary to ask for guidance on what he would like to see her in. Amazingly he wrote back before she’d logged off. ‘Tanga-style bikini! Opaque! Lace! Black like a cloud!’

Jesus, Elaine thought. She wasn’t even sure what ‘Tanga-style’ was! I’ll have to look it up. She smiled at Gary’s enthusiasm.

She was about to open Messenger to see if he was online when another mail arrived. It said, ‘Okay, back to work. I’ll see you tonight. Thanks for the visual!‘

Elaine giggled. She replied with a wink then shut down the machine. Getting up, she looked around her room then down at her backpack. Looking at her watch, she had a wicked thought.

What’s a good way to waste a half-hour before I have to go to class?

Chapter 21

Elaine trotted to the bathroom, her anxiety mounting. Quickly she used the toilet, cleaned thoroughly and washed her hands and her new plug. Her excitement was evident in the reflection above the sink. Her nipples were so hard. She couldn’t believe she was going to do this now. Looking at her watch, Elaine noted she was down to twenty-five minutes. She had second thoughts.

Maybe I shouldn’t do this… What if someone comes home?

She sighed and dried everything off. In two minds, she trudged from the bathroom back to her bedroom. Passing the front door, she stopped for a moment, staring at the lock.

Should I? God. Do I have the nerve?

She bit her lip and reached up to engage the double lock. Click!

I’ll say I didn’t realise I’d done it. It was a lame excuse, but it’d work. With a huge smile, she laughed out loud and bounded to her bedroom.

I must be nuts!

Stripping off her jeans, she laid them carefully on the floor so they’d be quick and easy to put back on. After grabbing a damp towel from her Laundry Basket and keeping it handy, she lubed the toy while getting to her knees on the floor. The first time she’d tried it this way had been successful, so the thought of doing it differently hadn’t occurred to her. The idea of beginning with the smaller plug had, but after glancing at the clock she discarded it due to the lack of time.

If I can’t manage the larger one, I’ll start with the smaller one next time, she decided, thinking it was a good back-up plan. She hoped she didn’t need a next time. She didn’t know if there’d be a next time before Friday night. That’s why she was there. She really wanted to be ready. She needed to try this. She needed to know.

She spread her knees widely and bowed her back, resting her upper body on her bed. It was the perfect height. She smeared a generous dollop of cool lube all over her puckered ass and, wasting no time, gasped as she sawed one and then two fingers in and out of the grasping heated flesh.

Relax, relax, relax, she kept saying to herself, fucking her fingers slowly. She moaned softly as she twisted them back and forth. Her tummy was fluttering and her nipples were like flint. Gathering more lube, she pushed it inside herself and all around, hoping it would help with her ‘chore’. That’s how she was defining what she was doing. It was something she had to do to prepare herself for Gary. She wasn’t playing. She was doing a chore. She looked at the plug in her hand.

And it’s NOT going to be easy!

When she was done lubing her butt, she took the toy in her soiled hand and reached behind herself. Centring the tip of it in the middle of her anus, she gently pressed on it, slowly wedging her ass open. It didn’t feel comfortable and she backed off, adjusting her knees wider and arching her back to its maximum. She swallowed.

I can do this…

Resting her forehead on the back of her bent free arm and trying to breathe normally, she pushed on the plug again, even slower this time. Gradually she opened, further and further until the muscle decided it had had enough and wanted to close. She whined with the discomfort and slid it out.

Her chest was heaving.

Slow down. Slow down. Breathe. Relax.

Once more she began as sparkles of perspiration broke out on her back. She had to admit it felt kind of good at the beginning. Then as more of the plug entered, she seemed to run up against a brick wall.

Like now.

Gritting her teeth, she pressed a little harder and the wide plug slid a sudden, breathtaking half-inch.

‘Ahhhh!’ Elaine cried out, more loudly than she’d intended. Her body shuddered as she quickly withdrew the half-embedded plug. Pursing her lips and blowing hard, she willed away the shot of pain that had stabbed into her. Once she’d calmed, she held her breath and listened for anyone beating on the front door.

Nothing.

She could try again.

Dammit. What did that lady say? ‘Bear down like you’re doing a number two’. I’ll… I’ll try that…

I can do this… I can do it…

Elaine was surprised that her pussy wasn’t wet. Nothing. Not even warm. Maybe it’s mind over matter, she wondered. It was strange, as her nipples were as hard as diamonds. She’d been consumed with the desire to please Gary. She wanted to be good and she’d promised not to play. Now that she was thinking about it, her pussy awoke. Tingles of heat radiated over her sex, shooting down the back of her legs, then back up over her ass and up her spine.

Elaine reasoned that it was easier last time, not because the plug was so much smaller, but because she’d distracted herself by playing with her clit. As if it agreed entirely, her clit pulsed, shooting out more tingles of pleasure. It’ll be all right, she assured herself, reaching between her legs with her licked index finger. Gary would understand.

It’s only to make it easier.

“Mmmmmm,” Elaine groaned as she manipulated the bud in small, liquid circles. Positioning the butt plug again and gritting her teeth, she decided it was now or never. She fucked it into herself, small strokes, deeper and deeper.

Now, all I have to do is bear down…

“Oooooh…” she hissed, reaching the widest part.

And…

“AaaaaahhhhHHHH!!!” Elaine screamed, biting down on the blanket. As soon as the toy slid in and locked, her ass tightened down like crazy!

Oooh! Oh. Oh, fuck. Dammit! The curses rolled around her head as she groaned in discomfort, her skewered behind waving in the air. She’d stopped the gentle caresses on her clit. Quickly resuming them, the pain rapidly retreated and her ass began a slow grinding motion against her fingertips. Her pussy certainly wasn’t asleep now. She reached lower and could feel how hot and wet she’d become.

It had taken a couple of minutes to will the muscles to relax again. Once she’d managed it, another minute passed before Elaine gingerly lifted her head. The fullness was incredible. It didn’t hurt at all. In another minute there was no pain even when she tightened on purpose.

It better be easier next time, she thought, shaking her head.

Ever so slowly, she eased back, raising her body while keeping her hips at the same angle until her ass cheeks rested on the back of her heels. She found herself kneeling with her legs widely spread, back arched impossibly. Resting her hands on her thighs, she realised she’d done it.

She glanced at the clock.

Her eyes closed again and she smiled, breathing evenly.

Five more minutes. That’s all. Just five more minutes.

**************************

Thankfully taking the butt plug out hadn’t been as hard as putting it in. It wasn’t like being turned inside out or anything, but Elaine thought it was pretty close. Her eyes had watered and it completely took her breath away. Still, in just a few minutes she was cleaned up and ready for school. Mission accomplished!

The smile she wore stayed with her most of the day, but the unnerving feeling that her ass was wide open took a couple of classes to wane. Of course, she knew it wasn’t, and she was able to stop herself from finding an empty cubicle in the toilets and checking, just to make sure.

Her tender butt wasn’t the only thing distracting her. Elaine had printed out her contract before leaving and folded it into one of her textbooks. During the afternoon she’d looked at it a few times, but instead of finding something she didn’t like, all she seemed to do was daydream.

It’s pretty standard, I guess. It’s the symbolism that’s important.

She smiled to herself.

Maybe we really are on the same wavelength, she mused, pen in her mouth and staring out the window. At last the bell sounded, signalling the end of her final lecture of the day. Accounting bored her to tears. She rolled her eyes when she remembered she had ‘a double’ the next day.

She’d slung her backpack over her shoulder and barely stepped into the corridor before her roommates accosted her. It was rare to run into them on campus and she was quite surprised to see them.

“Elaine!” they squealed.

“What are you guys doing here?”

Chelsea answered. Kendra was too busy watching a bunch of pretty girls walk by. “We’re going to the Rat for a few drinks. Come with us!”

Elaine couldn’t think of a good excuse not to go. “Okay, maybe just for one or two.”

“Cool,” said Kendra, rejoining us as we started walking toward the bar. “We can get pizza later. I’m buying.”

With a wink, Elaine asked Chelsea, “Did someone win the lottery or something?”

Chelsea looked at Kendra and asked, “Shall I tell her, or do you want to?”

Kendra grinned. “I got a job.”

“Did you? Cool!” Elaine remembered Kendra saying her parents wanted her to concentrate on college if she insisted on going. Elaine thought it was a good idea for Kendra to start making her own decisions.

“Yes! I’m so psyched. I have to wean myself off my parent’s money. At the moment I feel beholden to them.”

“Well, congratulations,” said Elaine. “It’s a good plan. So where are you working?”

“Chelsea got me a job at the same place she’s at. I start tomorrow night.”

Elaine stopped in her tracks.

Chelsea asked, “What is it?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” chimed in Kendra.

“Tomorrow is Friday. I um, I hate to remind you guys, but in an emergency, I might need one of you tomorrow night.”

“All right, already. I’ll call him. Jeez, Elaine. Look, I doubt whether you would have agreed to stay for the weekend at the guy’s place without making pretty certain you knew what you were getting into. I mean, what are the odds of things going wrong, anyway?”

Elaine knew Chelsea was right. Everything should be okay. She sighed. “About a hundred to one.”

“See? Now, stop worrying. Everything will be fine.”

“Yeah,” agreed Kendra. “Let’s get that drink.”

“Oh, all right,” said Elaine, failing to mask her disappointment.

Chelsea rolled her eyes and Kendra giggled.

“What?” Elaine whined as the girls slipped their arms through hers and started walking down the hallway.

“You’re just being so careful,” said Chelsea. “It’s adorable.”

Kendra leaned into Elaine and whispered, “You’re nervous about getting boned for the first time, aren’t you?”

Elaine’s jaw dropped. She hadn’t told Kendra she was a virgin, had she? Her mind went blank and she couldn’t remember! A couple of girls walking in the opposite direction giggled. Elaine was sure Kendra hadn’t spoken that loudly. She blushed.

“What are you guys talking about?” asked Chelsea, her heels clicking on the floor.

“I was just saying,” said Kendra with a gleam in her eye. “That Elaine must be wetting herself. Gary is pretty cute.”

At least Chelsea had some sense of decorum. She held her hand in front of her mouth as she quietly joined in. “And he’s hung like a horse.”

Kendra glanced down at Elaine’s chest and chuckled.

“Gimme a break, you guys,” Elaine said, sounding more confident than she felt. She knew her roommates were just teasing and didn’t mean any harm. They seemed to get a charge out of revving her up. As they entered the bar Elaine took a deep breath, determined to give as good as she got.

Chelsea ordered a pitcher of beer and Elaine screwed up her nose. She wasn’t fond of beer. It was too bitter and it always went straight to her head. A bit like champagne.

Oh well, she thought. I’m only staying for a couple.

They made for one of the high circular tables that luckily a couple of guys were vacating. After getting situated, they sat on stools facing each other while Chelsea poured. Around them, fellow students chatted loudly over the piped music. On the low stage in one corner of the large room, a couple of roadies were working without haste, perhaps for a band later on.

“To Elaine,” Chelsea said, holding up her glass and urging Elaine and Kendra to do likewise. “May she slay the one-eyed trouser snake!”

“I’ll drink to that!” cried Kendra gleefully.

“Good Lord,” said Elaine, chuckling and sipping her beer.

“Oh, c’mon,” said Chelsea. “We’re both really pleased for you. And we’ll give you lots of sympathy when you get home on Sunday aching all over.”

“Yeah,” agreed Kendra. “Alllll over.”

Elaine knew Chelsea was commenting on the size of Gary’s dick again. God, is the woman obsessed? She also knew Kendra was referring to her ass. But she couldn’t help joining them in their laughter.

Neither of them knew just how right they might be.

****************************

An hour later Elaine was making her way up the stairs to her apartment. She’d paid for the second pitcher, but decided not to stay and drink it with them. Kendra gave her a twenty to get pizza and Elaine had left them at the Rat on the promise that they’d follow within the hour. She figured it would be two, but that was okay.

She had wanted to get a bit more of her damned Metaphysics essay done, and while she was pleased to be almost halfway through the expected twenty-five pages, she was resigned to taking her books to Gary’s. After working steadily for half an hour, she ordered the pizza and returned to her room, conscientiously continuing her studies. When the pizza guy turned up, and with no sign of the girls, Elaine put the pie on the kitchen table and returned to her room to keep going.

As seven-thirty ticked by, Elaine closed up her essay and stretched. She logged onto the net and clicked open email, ready to write up her daily journal. She had mail from Gary ominously titled, ‘Apologies’. She swallowed nervously as she opened it, her head swimming.

Please don’t cancel! Please don’t cancel!

A huge sigh of relief was coupled with disappointment as she read that Gary would be late that evening. He had a meeting to attend and wouldn’t be home until ten-thirty. He said he’d see her then and was looking forward to it. Elaine sent an acknowledgement, concurring with him. It was okay. She’d be seeing him tomorrow.

Gosh. Tomorrow.

Shaking her head, she composed her journal, blushing fiercely as she typed up a couple of paragraphs outlining her butt plug adventure beginning yesterday with Kendra’s bold suggestion, Elaine’s strange arrival at the adult shop, and her success with her new plug today. Poor Elaine was starting to find it difficult to control her bodily reactions. Writing it all down had rekindled the pleasure she’d felt as she kneeled and relaxed on the floor next to her bed. Doing it was easier than telling Gary about it. But she’d done it. She had to tell him. She hoped he’d be pleased. Closing her journal with a promise that she had completed her ‘chore’ without playing, she sent it off and sat back in her chair. Her body was buzzing. She needed to get changed.

And I need a shower…

***************************

Elaine had preheated the oven only ten minutes before the girls finally stumbled in. She was getting ravenous and had given up waiting for them. She was about to reheat a couple of slices when she had to stop and add the rest of the pie. Her roommates made their noisy arrival with heavy clicking heels and raucous laughter. They were banging into walls and something crashed in the background and she heard Kendra laughing and singing out, ‘It’s okay! It was only a picture of my dog!’At the same time Chelsea started cackling like a madwoman, asking, ‘You have a picture of your dog?’ Elaine laughed too when Kendra said, ‘Not any more!’

They sounded really trashed and Elaine went to investigate. This could be fun, she thought. “Are you guys up for pizza?” Elaine asked, standing between their opposite and open doors. Both girls were going through their clothes and tossing things on their beds.

“I so need to eat something,” giggled Kendra.

“I know what I’m hungry for,” said Chelsea, waiting for Elaine and Kendra to look before moaning and obscenely sucking her index finger as it plunged in and out of her mouth. Kendra went into fits of drunken laughter as Chelsea made a big gulping sound and in her sexiest voice said, “Ahhhh, that was so good, baby. Can I have some more?”

Elaine couldn’t help but laugh too.

When Chelsea winked at Elaine and went back to what she was doing, she opened her lingerie drawer and began choosing what to wear. The sight reminded Elaine of Gary’s request, and before she knew it, out of her mouth came, “Have you guys heard of Tanga-style panties?”

Chelsea looked up from what she was doing as Kendra yelled out, “Chelsea has some!”

“Really?” Elaine asked, looking back at Chelsea, her eyebrow cocking.

Chelsea laughed. “Kendra is the underwear expert. Haven’t you seen her poring over the Victoria’s Secret site? It’s about the only reason she has a computer!”

Elaine had never seen Kendra’s computer turned on, let alone seen her roommate sitting in front of it. Suddenly over her shoulder she felt Kendra’s presence. Elaine tensed as Kendra’s arms loosely wrapped themselves around her waist from behind and she leaned her chin on Elaine’s shoulder.

“Model them for her,” Kendra said to Chelsea, who was holding up a slip of lacy, diaphanous material between her fingers.

“Okay,” Chelsea laughed, wriggling out of her denim skirt and slipping off her brief bikini knickers without hesitation. “You’ve gotta be careful though, these are pretty flimsy.”

Elaine blinked at Chelsea’s sudden nudity. Well, half-nudity. Bottom half. At least Kendra had let go. She’d slipped her arms from around Elaine’s waist and was gently massaging her shoulders. If she hadn’t been breathing in Elaine’s ear it would have felt quite nice.

Warily Chelsea stepped into the panties and slid them up her calves and thighs, then snapped them into place, making Elaine shake her head. They were gorgeous. They were light pink and see-through between the lace. The sides were wide, creating a kind of sexy, tight ‘micro-shorts’ kind of look.

Kendra said, “Those ones are typical of the cut, mostly the style is low on the hips, wide on the sides, and cut high into the ass, exposing a lot of it.”

Chelsea giggled and did a pirouette, wiggling her ass as it passed by. Elaine heard Kendra breathe, ‘Mmmmm,‘ but she was sure Chelsea hadn’t heard.

In the background the oven timer went off and Elaine was relieved that she could announce that pizza was ready and get the hell out of there. She was starting to feel warm. Everything was driving her mad!

In miniskirts that were practically scandalous, Elaine’s roommates joined her in the kitchen. The three of them settled into some serious pizza munching, and for the time being were each consumed by the need to feed. In between mouthfuls, Elaine gathered that Kendra and Chelsea were going out but weren’t planning to stay out late, as they wanted to make sure they weren’t wrecked for Kendra’s first day at work. They were apparently quite committed to coming home after a couple of hours dancing and to be in bed by midnight. Elaine thought in their half-drunken state that they were being ambitious, but they seemed to sober up a bit by the time the pizza was demolished.

Twenty minutes later Chelsea and Kendra were heading down to meet the taxi they’d called, leaving Elaine all alone in the apartment with an hour and a half to kill before Gary arrived. She would have sold her grandmother to be able to masturbate, but instead she thought of a constructive way to ignore her smouldering sexuality. She decided to visit the BDSM chat room online.

She hadn’t been there in a while, but was sure it hadn’t been more than a week. The idea was a good one and she thought it would help her get in the right frame of mind. Elaine was smiling to herself as she logged on as kurious and entered the chat room. Most of the regulars were there.

“Greetings kurious,” came from ten different directions.

“Huggggggs sis, long time no see,” was the general comment from the subs she knew. Elaine settled in and acknowledged them all individually. Someone asked how she was and when she replied, ‘Dreamy,’ everyone was onto her, asking for details. She couldn’t really tell them much, other than she was very happy, had met MasterServant once for coffee, and was anxiously awaiting their first weekend together.

Various celebrations and congratulations rolled around the room as Elaine looked on somewhat bewildered. She didn’t think she’d really done anything yet. Someone asked her to please come back and tell them all about it as soon as possible. Then others joined in to implore her to please do it, as they’d love to hear her impressions of her first time.

Elaine swallowed and looked at her hands. Her fingers were shaking a little as needles of trepidation raised goose bumps on her arms. She typed that she would surely return and let people know as soon as she could. More celebrations and good luck messages followed. acquiescent entered the room in the middle of it and Elaine smiled. Elaine hadn’t seen Simone since the fateful day she introduced Elaine to Gary. Elaine was glad for the chance to thank her.

They hugged and Elaine caught her up in private messages while also answering random questions in the chat room. A general discussion of ‘how to go about planning and meeting with someone’ ensued, covering lots of stuff that was veryfamiliar to Elaine, which made her smile. As Simone babbled on about how amazing the weekend was going to be, Elaine began to feel a strange swelling of her self-confidence.

She really had done everything right.

Time passed easily before Elaine found herself yawning. On checking the clock, she was pleasantly surprised to see that Gary was due to arrive at any moment. Perking up, she courteously sent everyone in the chat room her farewell. Amid another outpouring of good luck and congratulations messages, she smiled and waved and assured them she’d be back, before clicking out of the room.

It crossed her mind that Gary hadn’t once let her down. Though he’d been late a couple of times, both times he’d managed to inform her about it. She understood that occasionally an inaccurate guess might have to be taken regarding someone’s, or her own, estimated time of arrival. But she never agreed with the concept of being ‘fashionably late’. First of all one had to assume they were entitled to inconvenience another person on the basis of it being fashionable, or, as was more likely, someone was basically saying, ‘I’m so busy with other commitments that I couldn’t possibly be here any earlier.’

Unless it was to a really big party where one’s absence wouldn’t be missed, to Elaine’s mind, being ‘fashionably late’ was a put down, particularly in ‘one on one’ situations.

It’s sad when people have to put others down in order to feel better about themselves, she thought wistfully.

“Hello, Elaine,” popped up on the screen.

A big grin covered Elaine’s face as she typed, “Hello, Sir.”

“I see by your journal you’ve had a fun-filled day.” He winked.

“You’re mean, Sir.” She sent the face with the tongue poking out.

“Oh, c’mon. You’re lucky I’m not mad at you for playing with your clit while you worked that big fat butt plug up your ass, little one.”

Now Elaine knew he was teasing her. “Oh, Sir!” she sent, quickly followed by the blushing face. She couldn’t help but giggle.

God, there go my nipples again!

“Bring your toys with you tomorrow, okay? All of them. We’ll see what you’ve got and I might add a few things to your collection, if you’re good.”

More toys? Elaine bit her lip as ripples of pleasure zigzagged across her skin. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Anyway, I am pleased by your bravery, Elaine. Not to mention your audacity. How are you feeling?”

“Um,” she typed. A wicked thought came to mind. Quickly assessing the feelings tumbling about her stimulated yet frustrated body, her cheeks burned as she honestly typed, “Ready to fuck at the drop of a hat!” She squealed and covered her mouth with her hand as she witnessed her words on the screen in front of her. She doubled over in fits of giggles, fuelled in equal parts by the trembling mortification of her brazenness, and the unbridled joy of being completely and utterly honest.

“Chuckles,” Gary typed. “I must remember to wear a hat then.”

All Elaine managed to respond with was, “lmaoofkjjdlfkg…” The succession of hilarious images of Gary wearing ridiculous hats paraded themselves through her mind. Elaine howled with laughter for what seemed like minutes. At some point she realised how good it felt to let go. A good laugh was just what she needed. When she finally managed to dry her eyes and focus on the screen again, her heart started pounding.

“I would like to speak to you as if you had signed the contract tomorrow night. May I assume you will be signing it and accompanying me on the weekend, Elaine?”

Sitting up straighter, she took a deep breath and typed, “I will be there, Sir.”

With bells on, she thought, giggling a little and trying to control herself.

For the next hour, Gary talked about their schedule, beginning with meeting her at Déchaînée, which was, according to Gary, ‘the best French restaurant in town’. Elaine had never eaten French before, and hoped she could avoid the snails. She smiled softly to herself. Gary’s enthusiasm was infectious, and she soon found herself looking forward to it. She hoped she wouldn’t be too nervous to eat.

“So after dinner we’ll be heading home and I wouldn’t be surprised if I teased you all the way there.”

“Shakes my head.”

“Which of course calls into question your dress. I know it’s ‘late in the day’, but have you chosen what you are going to wear?”

“I’ve had a few ideas, but I haven’t decided. No, Sir.”

“I’ll be wearing the one decent suit I own, with a mauve shirt and a black tie. I’d love to see you in something elegant, but if you really want to knock my socks off, you’ll wear a floor length dress and no underwear.”

“No underwear?”

“I will regularly require that you are nude under your outer layer of clothes. While we are together, I plan to enjoy everything your body has to offer. That includes admiring it and/or taking advantage of it at moments you may or may not be prepared for, Elaine.”

She swallowed. “I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t mean to question whether or not I’d go without underwear. Of course I will. I was just surprised, that’s all.”

“Because it’s our first time together?”

“Well,” she said, hesitating. “Yes.”

“Okay. Two things. Firstly, from the moment we sign our contract, you will be my submissive, and I will be your Dominant, in mind, body and soul. As soon as we are seated at the restaurant, and the waiter or waitress has left with our drink’s orders, I will be placing the contract in front of us for our signatures. From then onward, you and I are bound by its words. Turning back means taking you home. Make sure you understand that.”

Elaine trembled. “Yes, Sir.”

“Secondly, I was giving you an opportunity to be pleasing. I told you how to dress to do it. It won’t be the last time I tell you how to please me. Think about it.”

“I’m going to have to get used to this, aren’t I?”

“Mhmmm.”

“How? I mean, do I have to think of whether something pleases you first? And try to ignore how it makes me feel?”

“Only if you trust me and want to please me.”

“I do want to do those things. You just… You make it sound so easy. I’m worried that my inexperience is going to get me into trouble.”

“Chuckles. It probably will. Don’t worry, Elaine. I’ll always explain things to you, point things out, and give you chances to change your mind. I’m going to be gentle with you. But I am going to dominate you. Just concentrate on me when I speak to you. You’ve done it before. Remember coffee?”

She sure did. The feelings that overwhelmed her the first time she’d met Gary rushed over her skin like wildfire. Had she been so self-absorbed that she’d forgotten how much she liked him? She was going to be a mess! She giggled. “Just concentrate on you. I’ve got it.” She sent the smiling face.

“You are adorable. You do know that, don’t you?”

“You’re making me blush.” She sent the blushing face.

“That’s what I want you to be wearing when I meet you. A blush and a beautiful dress. And that’s all.”

“Then that’s what you’ll get.”

“I can’t wait to be alone with you.”

“Me either.”

A moment passed. Elaine was wondering if they’d ever get to ‘the specifics’. Gosh, she thought. Maybe that’s what they HAD been talking about. She had to know, so she typed, “Sir?”

“Yes, Elaine.”

“Are you going to tell me what else I should expect?”

“Yes, I was planning to do just that.” He sent a smile. “After our meal I’ll be taking you home. I doubt whether you will be a virgin by the time we get there. Depending on the weather of course.”

“Of course.” Elaine blushed harder.

“Unless you have a particular aversion to being fucked on the hood of a car.”

She squirmed. “Um, no. That would be fine.”

“Good. So after getting home I’ll offer you brandy or something else in the house. Do you have a preference?”

“Cointreau?”

“Cointreau it is then.”

“Grins. And then what?”

“Then I’ll show you to the basement. I’ve been working hard down there, getting things ready. I hope you’re impressed. Lots of brickwork and stained and lacquered wood. Lots of leather too. Chains here and there. Right up your alley I imagine.” He winked.

“I hope so. We’ll ‘scene’ and I’ll take my time and be patient with you. I’m very mindful of my responsibility here. I want you to enjoy this. I’ll be building sensations upon sensations, and I’ll be relying on your reactions and your words to guide me. I’ll be paying a lot of attention to you. You are going to love this. At various times during the weekend I will be doing the same. Scening with you, teaching you, explaining things to you, and maybe even disciplining you. I don’t know. That will be up to you. It’s going to be everything you expect and more.”

“It’s still a culture shock.”

“It’s everything you want and need, Elaine. It will be everything we’ve talked about, and everything you’ve imagined. When you leave my house on Sunday, you will be an experienced submissive. You’ll know yourself better than ever, and you’ll knowthat this is right for you.”

Elaine nodded subconsciously. There was only one way to find out. “What time?”

“Seven-thirty.”

“I’ll be there.”

“So will I. Don’t be late. I’m not hanging around to be stood up.”

“I’ll be early.”

“Good girl. Is that specific enough for you?”

“Um, will you be spanking me?”

“Yes.”

She swallowed. “Using a flogger?”

“Yes.”

“A crop?”

“Yes.”

Her heart was hammering. “A paddle?”

“Yes, but I’ll be gentle.”

“You won’t restrain me?”

“Not unless you want me to.”

“I might have to be.”

“Then we’ll play it by ear.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Any more questions?”

“Um… No, Sir. Smiles softly.”

“Okay. Then I’d like you to go to bed.”

“Must I?” She glanced at the clock.

“Try.”

It was getting late anyway. “All right. I will. Thank you again, Gary.”

“If you are thanking me on Sunday, I’ll be happy.”

Elaine smiled.

***************************

At breakfast she was on autopilot. After describing the dress Gary wanted, both Chelsea and Kendra had ideas on which store Elaine should visit. They both offered to come with her to the mall but she declined. She felt she knew what Gary wanted, and didn’t want to be swayed in her opinion. Besides, she was going lingerie shopping too, and having Kendra there would have been too much.

School went slowly. She fell asleep during the damned two-hour Accounting lecture and her finals were just next week. She was going to have to cram, but she’d be glad when she was finally done with the stupid course. She didn’t even care if she ended up with a B. Ugh. She did really.

She had Metaphysics last and she picked up a few pointers when others asked questions about the big essay due Monday. She was so relieved that she was on the right track with hers she almost peed herself. The sound of the bell made her jump out of her skin and her tutor even asked if she was all right. She said she was fine as she packed up her books mechanically and headed out.

Seconds and minutes seemed to melt together. One moment she was in a hallway at school, the next she was keying open her front door. The next she was changed and on a bus, and before she knew it she was walking through the automatic doors at the mall.

There were only a few stores she needed to find and she was excited. She almost giggled aloud at the thought that her prospective purchases weren’t even for her. Knowing Gary would be happy with what she was planning to buy made things much easier.

And she loved to shop.

Usually she felt guilty when she bought things for herself. But not today. Today she was on a mission but the first store had nothing in her size. The second store, Cargo, had a twenty percent storewide discount that made her drool. She crossed her fingers as she described the dress to the obviously gay guy serving her. The first one he brought her was what he wanted, but the second one made her eyes bug out. It was perfect.

Lying across his arm was the most exquisite purple silk dress that she had ever laid her eyes on. She was crying while she tried it on, and the stiff lace bodice was awesome. Elaine was a full B and it was a tight B, but was on the sassy side rather than trashy. And it was backless, advertising her lack of a bra. The fall of the skirt reminded her of Fifties dancers, though it wasn’t nearly as full. She just shook her head as she dried her eyes and looked in the mirror.

I’m beautiful!

At Victoria’s Secret her heart almost leapt out of her chest when the saleslady brought her exactly what she was after. She was then outfitted in a matching sexy little black bra and was railroaded into a sheer black teddy.

Elaine was quite stunned when she stepped into the bright sunlight outside the mall. With a couple of bags hanging from her hands, strangely she felt unsure of what to do with herself. Remembering she had a bus to catch, she looked around and figured out where she had to be.

After confirming with the driver that she was on the right one, she sat by the window with her bags beside her and stared as the streets rolled by.

My God, she thought.

It’s Friday.

Chapter 22

Woodenly Elaine made her way up the stairs. She held the railing, steadying herself. Her legs were like jelly and she had to stop a couple of times. Despite the feeling of taking one step forward, two steps back, she was wiping her feet on the mat and sliding her key into the front door in less than a minute.

I wish I could stop thinking. Maybe I could take a nap…

Inside the apartment Elaine was somewhat surprised. Her roommates were on speed! Or at least that’s how it seemed. Before Elaine stepped two feet inside the door Chelsea raced past, handing her a glass of wine. Had she been watching from the window? Unlikely.

“Thanks,” Elaine said, taking it and raising her eyebrow.

Half naked in a loosely held together towel, Kendra rushed by in the opposite direction. “There’s cheese and crackers on the kitchen table and the shower is all yours!”

Elaine dropped her backpack by her bedroom door and sat on the side of the bed, sipping the wine. She smiled and shook her head at the commotion outside. It was like a military exercise. Someone yelled, ‘Five minutes!’ which was kind of funny because Elaine was sure Kendra and Chelsea didn’t have to be at work until seven.

She sighed. Everything seemed strange. Even her room looked different. She needed to rest. After placing the wineglass on her bedside table, Elaine lay on her back and relaxed. I’ll just close my eyes for a minute. But as soon as she did, the thoughts that had haunted her all afternoon bubbled to the surface yet again.

I’m closing one chapter and opening another. An ending, and a new beginning. Will I be the same person after I sign my name? Or will I become someone different? I couldn’t have been wrong, could I? I feel like a bomb, about to explode. Ticking… Ticking…

Elaine glanced over at the clock.

Five twenty-two P.M.

Two hours and eight minutes.

She took a shuddering breath.

Aw, man. I don’t know if I can do this… I don’t have a life-long friend in whom I can confide. Parents? Grandparents? Aunts or uncles? No. The kids I grew up with in high school? No. The weird kid my brother played soccer with in the fourth grade? Sighs. No. Counsellors? Librarians? Workmates? The guy on the bus? No. A complete stranger I met on the subway one time? No. A barman? A hairdresser? A taxi driver? A waitress? No. No. No. No.

It’s such a personal decision. People on the outside can’t help.

Thank God I have a beautiful dress to wear. If this all gets shot to hell, at least I’ll go out in style…

Knock, knock, knock!

Nervously Elaine sat up.

Her smiling roommates appeared in her open doorway, almost like twins in their matching uniforms. “Hiiiii!!!” they said in unison.

Elaine’s hackles bristled. When her roommates worked together like this, it was rarely good news. “What’s up?” she asked.

Chelsea and Kendra looked at each other and giggled. Chelsea said, “We’re all done, and we’re more than an hour early. Everything is ready for you. Candles, bath is drawn, oils, the lot.”

Kendra piped up. “I’ll iron your dress, where is it?” Incredulous, Elaine pointed to the bags by the door, next to Kendra’s feet. Kendra smiled and picked them both up, quickly looking in the Victoria’s Secret one and saying, “Cool,” then passing it to Chelsea who also took a peek.

“Nice,” Chelsea said, smiling and placing the bag back by the door. “Now, did you think of shoes?”

Elaine figured she’d wear her off-white pair. They didn’t exactly match but she didn’t have much choice. It would be fine. The dress went all the way to the floor. She certainly couldn’t afford new shoes anyway. “Yeah, I was going to wear my off-white pumps, the open-toed ones.”

“You can’t wear off-white with this,” said Chelsea, holding out the shimmering skirt and admiring it. Turning to Elaine, she asked, “You’re a nine, aren’t you?”

Elaine nodded, again speechless.

“Then you can borrow something of mine. C’mon, come and choose.” Chelsea held out her hand and Elaine climbed to her feet, stiffly walking across her room.

Kendra folded the dress over her arm, and the three of them stood in the doorway. Elaine finally managed to form words. “This is really weird.”

“Is that all you can say?” asked Chelsea, nudging Kendra.

Elaine wasn’t sure what to think. “Why are you doing this?”

Kendra and Chelsea looked at each other. “She never ‘gets’ anything, does she?” asked Chelsea.

Kendra smiled and spoke as if Elaine wasn’t even there. “She’s incredibly literal, suspicious, and unfortunately very smart. If she were more of a dope she could communicate on our level.”

Chelsea giggled. “You’re a nut, Kendra.”

“Yeah, well I still say you should have been a cheerleader.”

“Whoa, whoa. What are you two talking about?” asked Elaine. The girls looked at each other, then at Elaine.

“It’s a special night for you,” said Kendra, shrugging.

“Yeah,” agreed Chelsea.

“Huh?”

“We wanted to do something for you,” said Kendra. “Look. To this day, even though we don’t exactly get on, Chelsea and I have never had a problem with you. You more than pull your weight. You’re even a steadying influence on us.”

“She’s right, you know,” said Chelsea. “We’ve both started to look at ourselves differently because of you. Seeing you get all excited about this guy has shown me how jaded I’ve become. I need to get on with my life, and you’ve shown me that.”

Kendra said, “And I need to be more honest with myself and less defensive. I ah,” she hesitated and glanced at Chelsea. “I told Chelsea I’m gay.”

“No way,” said Elaine.

“Uh huh. She’s gonna take a while getting used to the idea.” She shrugged. “So am I.”

“Well, anyway. It doesn’t bother me either way,” said Chelsea. Turning to Elaine, she said, “Kendra thought it would be a problem, but there are girls on the basketball team who are gay. It’s never worried me before.”

Kendra was smiling now. “I never knew that. You always made fun of lesbians.”

“So did you!”

“Yeah. Well… So who’s gay on the ball team?”

Chelsea shook her head and laughed. “Go do some ironing. I’ll tell you later.”

Chelsea smiled at Elaine. “Okay, let’s get those shoes, then you can have a bath.”

***********************

Elaine thought luxuriating in a bubble bath with fragrant oils, while sipping wine by candlelight was about as close to heaven as she’d ever been. After twenty minutes, Chelsea even returned to top up her wine and the hot water. Elaine felt like a princess. She closed her eyes and relaxed, basking in the opportunity to shed some stress. Sometime later someone knocked softly on the bathroom door.

“Come in.”

Chelsea opened it about halfway. “We’re going. Everything is ready. I rang my boss and he’s okay with me leaving in an emergency, okay?”

In her daze, Elaine had forgotten all about that. She couldn’t believe it. “Gosh, thanks Chelsea. That’s a big relief.”

“Yeah, but at least you won’t be late. You’d have to call a taxi now anyway, and you can’t rely on a taxi, not on a night like this!”

“Besides,” said Kendra. “You can wait in the car at the restaurant. You’ll even see when he arrives.”

“Good Lord.” Elaine sighed. Points of no return seemed to be flying by. But it was probably a good idea. “Okay. Just give me a minute.”

The door abruptly closed and her roommate’s muffled chatter receded down the hall. Elaine climbed out of the bath, towelled off and powdered herself while it emptied. She brushed her teeth then quickly dried her hair and ran a wide-toothed comb through it. Wrapping a towel around herself, she opened the door then grabbed her wine and blew out the candles.

Kendra and Chelsea were waiting in her room.

“I called work,” said Chelsea. “And just this once we can be ten minutes late. So I’ll do your makeup.”

Chelsea rolled her eyes and said, “Nonsense. And make a mess of it? Tell me you’re not nervous. Show me your hands.”

Elaine held out her hands and was astonished to see her fingers trembling like she’d been using a jackhammer. “Um, yeah,” she muttered. “Okay.”

“I told you,” said Chelsea. “Now put your ass in the chair.” Chelsea pointed to the chair that normally had laundry piled up on it. Kendra was standing behind it; tapping it with her fingers and smiling. Elaine’s laundry had been folded up in the corner. She hoped it didn’t smell funny. Chelsea was behind her computer chair and the two chairs were facing each other in front of the mirror on her dresser.

They weren’t taking no for an answer.

Shuffling over wrapped only in a towel, Elaine slumped in the offered chair and sighed. Chelsea sat down in front of her and started rattling off questions about what she wanted. Kendra’s fingers were in her hair doing God knows what. It all became a bit of a blur. She wanted to see herself in the mirror but was side on to it. Each time she tried to look, Chelsea or Kendra would admonish her and guide her head forward again.

So instead she stared at her dress.

Her glistening, deep purple dress. She could hardly believe it was actually hers. The guy at the store was surprised it didn’t need altering. ‘It’s like it was made for you, sweetie!’

She smiled.

She couldn’t see a wrinkle in the silk. Kendra had done a fine job. Elaine’s eyes kept wandering to the bodice. It was awesome with the delicate lace stitched into it in a Celtic-like design. It was subtle and pretty, and at the same time, ageless. It wasn’t the kind of thing she normally had the chance to wear. She prayed it wouldn’t be the last. She had thought the dress would be the one good thing that would come out of it, if it all went belly-up. But now she’d changed her mind. Now she thought it would be a reminder of her failure. She blinked away a tear before it could form. Chelsea hadn’t noticed.

Elaine sighed.

If tonight is a disaster, I’ll never wear it again.

What a shame that would be…

“I’m done here,” said Kendra, tugging gently at the twin tendrils hanging down either side of Elaine’s face.

“I’ll be done with her lips in a minute,” replied Chelsea.

Kendra came around from behind Elaine and leaned on the back of Chelsea’s chair. She smiled and shook her head, examining Elaine’s face and hair. “You look great,” she whispered.

Elaine breathed hard. Her mouth was open and Chelsea was painting her lips after outlining them. Elaine hadn’t even noticed what colour she had chosen. Kendra’s words were encouraging, but barely enough to make Elaine smile. Without moving her head, she glanced over at the clock. It was almost seven.

SEVEN!

Oh. My. God.

“Elaine?” asked Chelsea.

“Huh?” she responded, a million miles away.

“Are you okay?”

“Um… Yeah, I guess.”

“You look a bit green. And you’re breathing hard.”

“Do you want a glass of water?” asked Kendra.

“Yes, please. I’ll be all right. Keep going.”

Kendra hurried off while Chelsea finished Elaine’s lips. She seemed satisfied as she held Elaine’s chin and turned her face from side to side. “Perfect,” she decided as Kendra returned. Elaine took the offered water and drank almost half of it before putting the glass on her dresser.

Elaine’s hands felt sweaty and she wiped them on the towel wrapped around her. “Can I see now?”

“Sure you can,” said Chelsea. Elaine’s roommates beamed at her. She took a deep breath and turned toward the mirror and for a moment, she stared.

Elaine’s heart pounded in her ears. She hadn’t been sure what to expect, but the vision staring back at her from the mirror certainly didn’t reflect her mood. What she saw looked like something out of a magazine. Her makeup was subtle and toned to her skin. Her eyes seemed wider and intent, yet darker. The brown irises looked almost black. Combined with the thin mascara and light lash enhancer, the slightly reddish tone of the eye shadow gave Elaine a mysterious, almost Gothic look.

The corners of her mouth bent into the beginnings of a smile, revealing the hint of gleaming white teeth. Elaine noticed her lips. They were lustrous and dark red like blood. She ran the tip of her tongue across the lower one and was amazed at how full they looked. She smiled a little more, looking back up to her eyes, then to her hair.

For a few months now Elaine had kept her shoulder-length dark brown hair in a manageable ‘shaggy’ style, though lately she’d become a bit bored with it. Somehow Kendra had performed a miracle with it, teasing it and shaping it with just gel, a comb and a blow dryer. She’d swept most of it back, apart from two twisted tendrils that hung down either side, framing Elaine’s face.

Her roommates were now standing behind Elaine, admiring their work as they all looked in the mirror. Elaine had to admit she was impressed. What they had done was perfect. Taking a deep breath, she whispered, “Thank you.” She couldn’t hold their gaze, despite their tender smiles. She had to try not to cry. She reached for a tissue and dabbed the corners of her eyes, just in case.

“We better go,” said Chelsea softly, patting Elaine’s shoulder.

“Do you need a hand with your dress?” asked Kendra.

“Um, no,” replied Elaine, remembering she wasn’t to wear underwear. She didn’t really want to share that. She could feel herself blushing at the thought. “Just give me a minute. You guys can go warm up the car if you want.”

Chelsea asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” answered Elaine. “I’ll be fine. I’ll be right down. And thanks again.” Turning back to the mirror, she fixed her eyes on her reflection. “I can’t believe it.”

“See you downstairs then,” said Chelsea, taking Kendra’s arm.

“You’ve got five minutes,” Kendra said as they hustled out.

Elaine closed her door and carefully laid the dress on her bed. Sinking to her knees, from under the bed she pulled out her overnight bag. It was mostly packed. In moments she’d added her toys and her folder and notes and two textbooks to her clothes for the weekend. Her bedroom wear was in there. She blushed. She zipped it up and tried to think of anything she might have forgotten. But there was only one thing on her mind.

No underwear.

Elaine was already squishy and hot. Thinking about going naked under a beautiful silk dress only made it worse. She just knew she was going to stain the back of it. Setting her jaw, she stood and dropped the towel. She had to check and was horrified by the slickness she encountered. I can’t go like this, she thought, grabbing some tissues. Not sitting in the car all the way there! Her heart started hammering. I’ll make a fool of myself! Then she had a brainstorm. She’d wear her black bikini knickers until she got there. Once her roommates had left and she was waiting for Gary, she’d slip them off and hide them in her purse.

Finding them at the bottom of the underwear drawer, she slipped them on. They were a bit tatty and tight, but Elaine didn’t care. They did the job.

Gary wouldn’t want me to embarrass myself. All I have to do is remember to take them off.

Stepping into the dress, Elaine fitted the bodice and zipped up the hidden zipper in the skirt. After lacing up the back, she checked that it looked okay.

She slipped on the low-heeled, black sling-backs Chelsea had let her borrow and held up the hem of the dress to admire them. They were suede and pointy and had little sparkly diamantes on them. She swirled her foot under the light and watched them glitter.

I better hurry up.

Remembering she wanted something pretty around her neck, Elaine turned around and her jaw dropped. In the reflection of her mirror, she saw someone else. Not Elaine Milanovic. Not Elaine the wannabe rebel. Not the college student with grandiose plans for changing the world. Not the standoffish half-girl, half-woman hell bent on self-control.

Here was someone different. She wasn’t sure if seeing herself as someone else was good or bad. Her hands shook and she wrung them out. Maybe she wasn’t someone new.

Maybe she was someone more.

She wished she had time to think. But she had to hurry.

In moments Elaine was trolling through her jewellery box, finding her gold diamond studs and matching gold necklace. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she clicked closed the short, thin gold chain around her neck. The tiny gold heart at its centre barely hung to the notch between her collarbones.

All right, she thought, on the verge of hyperventilation.

I’m ready.

Elaine grabbed lipstick, cell phone, some tissues, money and cards, and fumbled to put them all in her little black purse. Picking up her overnight bag, she stopped to take one last look.

One way or another, she was about to learn a hell of a lot more about herself.

I’m off to see the wizard, she though strangely, feeling a hot blush creep up her cheeks.

*************************

“If he’s here already, I’ll open and close the curtains in that window, okay?” said Chelsea, pointing through the windscreen.

Elaine nodded from the backseat. Chelsea had parked virtually under a streetlight in the parking lot, in clear view of the front door and affording little anonymity. It was a comfortable night, neither warm nor cool; yet Elaine could feel the perspiration forming on her top lip. She’d never been more nervous in her life and her mouth felt like it was full of cotton wool.

Kendra twisted the rear view mirror toward herself, checking her hair and makeup. She could see Elaine in the corner of the mirror. Elaine looked down at her hands. “Hey,” said Kendra.

Elaine looked up. “Y… Yes?”

“Wish me luck?”

“Jeez. I’m sorry. I forgot it was your first day. Good luck, I’m um… I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

Kendra said, “Okay.” Twisting back the mirror, she turned and addressed Elaine directly. “Just remember you are special. Make sure he treats you with respect.”

Chelsea smiled. “That’s good advice. I’d also suggest you have a couple of glasses of wine to settle your nerves, and then drink water. You don’t want to ruin things by getting too tipsy. Stay completely alert. It feels fantastic, Elaine. You’ll want to remember every moment.”

“I’m not sure if I can eat or drink anything.”

“He seems like the kind of guy who knows what he’s doing,” said Chelsea. “Just let him take control.”

“Y… You’re probably right.” Elaine was sure Chelsea had no idea she was so perceptive.

“Okay. It’s nearly quarter past. We gotta go. We’ll see you inside.” The interior light flashed on as the girls opened the doors.

“Everything is going to be fine,” said Kendra. “You’re beautiful, and he’s going to love you.”

Elaine swallowed. “I hope so.”

“See you inside.”

“Okay.”

In moments they’d left, closing the doors with twin thuds and reintroducing the comforting darkness and shadows. Elaine watched her roommates walk to the front door and wave back before entering Déchaînée. In seconds the curtains in the designated window opened and closed twice.

Shit. He’s here.

All Elaine could hear was her ragged breath. With her heart thumping, she hesitated. She had to slip off her knickers yet. Wishing it were darker, she glanced around and hoped she was alone in the parking lot.

With difficulty, she worked her underwear over her hips, but in the restricted space of the backseat, she simply wasn’t able to get them off without seriously wrinkling her dress. It was a blessing in disguise really. If she’d managed it, she’d almost certainly have left a wet spot on the back of her dress. Instead, she opened the door and got out, leaving her overnight bag to be collected later.

Standing beside the car, purse in hand and giving her surroundings a fleeting once over, she shimmied out of the soaked and uncomfortable panties, letting them fall to her feet. She stepped out of them and looked around again before looking down. “Oh, my,” she mumbled. They were useless and she wasn’t putting them in her purse! Kicking them under the car, she decided she’d excuse herself and go to the bathroom to ‘freshen up’ before doing anything.

After that, all she could do was hope.

A lone car drove past. For a moment Elaine wished she were somewhere else. Someplace safe. Someplace away. She shook her head to clear it.

I AM safe.

Weakly reassured, she took a step and her knees buckled. She caught herself, leaning on the hood of the car. It was still warm. She blinked.

He’s going to fuck me on the hood of his car!

Again Elaine looked up at the restaurant. She felt faint. Somehow it looked further away. Taking deep breaths, she tried to confront the rampant anxiety ambushing her.

Get a hold of yourself!

It’s just dinner. I’ll be okay. I can pull out any time.

She clenched her fists in determination.

C’mon, it’s just nerves.

Rolling her shoulders, she stood up straight and huffed.

Everything is going to be all right. It’s a learning experience. I want to know.

I NEED to know.

Putting one foot in front of the other, in no time Elaine found herself at the door of the restaurant.

Here goes nothing, she thought, pulling it open.

Stepping inside, she found it unnervingly warm. Chelsea hung to the side, hands behind her back and sporting a huge smile. The Maitre’d stepped in front of Elaine and in a thick French accent asked if she had a booking. Almost choking on her words, she managed, “Duke.”

“Ah, oui,” said the Maitre’d, straightening a little. “Monsieur is waiting for you. He requested a booth in the back.” By his tone, Elaine was certain this was somehow inconvenient. “Follow me, Mademoiselle.”

Taking the side of her skirt in her hand so she wouldn’t trip over it, she followed the feisty little man, noticing Chelsea right behind her, grinning madly. Elaine continued to take deep breaths. She wished her roommates knew what she was getting into. Then they’d understand.

Or could they? Maybe they had no way of understanding what turned Elaine on. Maybe they lacked the ability to perceive the mental freedom and physical ecstasy possible in D/s. Well, duh. As if they would. They were vanilla, through and through, trapped by the world as it appeared to be.

What was it my mom always used to say?

‘You can do anything.’

Well, does ‘anything’ include choosing how I live my life? Does ‘anything’ include deciding to do something different to the norm? To break the mould? To be truly and actually independent? To me, the choice is physically, mentally and emotionally valid.

It’s what I want.

Yet even now, following this strange man into the dark recesses of the restaurant, Elaine felt the ‘press’ of the vanilla world. Like Chelsea right now, it would always be with her. Trailing her. Dogging her. She’d never be free of the vanilla expectations of the world around her. Ever.

And that’s okay.

It’s not something everyone has to know.

It was private. It was between Elaine and Gary.

As if by magic her destiny loomed in front of her, standing and smiling as she approached. He looked sexy and commanding in his dark suit. He seemed larger than she remembered. He positively towered over her. Or perhaps she shrank in his presence.

“Hello, Elaine,” Gary said, his deep voice slicing her right down the middle.

“H… Hello, Gary,” Elaine replied, avoiding his eyes. She knew she’d be lost if she fell into them.

“You are on time.”

She swallowed. “Yes. I… I promised I would be.”

“I like honoured promises. Yours and mine.” He held out his hand.

Elaine knew she was supposed to take it in hers. So reluctantly she did. But she hedged her movement, staying put in front of him. Nervously glancing around, she wondered whether it was the exit or the ladies room she was trying to find. “I just…” She swallowed and damned her dry mouth. “Please let me use the bathroom before I join you.”

“Of course,” said Gary, pointing into the darkness. “It’s through there.”

Sticking to her plan, Elaine found the bathroom and headed for the first cubicle. It wasn’t easy, but she managed to clean up. While washing her hands, she checked herself in the mirror provided.

Kendra came flying through the bathroom door like it had been wedged closed. “Is everything all right? Chelsea said you’d hardly talked to him at all!”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine. I’m just, you know, freaking out…” Elaine checked her appearance again and dabbed cold water on her neck. It felt better than anything.

“Is there anything I can get you?” asked Kendra.

“No. I’ll be okay,” Elaine answered.

“As long as you’re sure…”

“I’ll be fine. Honestly.” She was feeling better. Smiling at her reflection, she dried her hands and said, “I just needed a minute.”

“All right,” said Kendra, still sounding unconvinced. “Let me know if you are in trouble.”

“Really, Kendra. You can stop worrying.”

“Okay.”

Behind her departing roommate, Elaine watched as the door swung slowly closed. Taking another deep breath, she leaned on the sink.

Okay, take two.

**************************

Gary stood and stepped out from behind the table. He greeted Elaine again and offering his hand, palm up. Elaine slipped her own into it and thanked him. Naturally he drew her closer and this time she stepped forward. Without raising her eyes, she asked, “M… May I say something?” She glanced around and made sure no one was within earshot. Lowering her voice, she added, “Please, Sir?”

“Of course,” said Gary softly. “But look at me when you are speaking.”

She gulped. “Yes, Sir.”

For the first time that night, Elaine looked right at Gary. In an instant she was gone. Everything melted. Inside and out. Melted away to nothing. Gone was her concern over the presence of her roommates. Gone were the booth and the table and candles. All that existed was Gary.

Somehow simultaneously there was a hardness and a softness in his eyes that was riveting. Almost hypnotising. It took her breath away. And when he spoke, his words became her world.

“What troubles you, little one?”

“I… I’ll probably stain this beautiful dress as soon as I sit down,” she confessed. He smiled down on her and she couldn’t help but smile back.

“You are dazzling.”

Elaine’s breath caught in her throat, and she emitted the barest peep. “Oh…”

“I’d like to hug you.”

“P… Please,” she managed.

His strong arms enveloped her and she sighed, resting her cheek against his chest and closing her eyes. She could hear his beating heart. It sounded almost as fast as hers. He leaned down a little, and his cheek brushed against her forehead lightly. His cologne was intoxicating. Elaine’s arms held him tightly and she could feel his muscles right through his suit. She swooned.

Elaine held on as her heart fluttered. It was all she could do. Her body flushed hotly and her legs felt weak. Five minutes ago she wanted to be somewhere else, and now she just wanted to be alone with him!

“What am I going to do?” she pleaded.

He smiled gently. “About what?”

She couldn’t help smiling too. “About, you know… messing my dress.”

“Your dress?” he asked with a cheeky smile. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what you mean. You’ll have to be much more explicit.”

Elaine looked around. Her roommates were standing by the entrance to the kitchen about twenty-five feet away. They both had huge grins on their faces. For a minute she’d completely forgotten about them. She smiled back, then thought she’d better inform Gary of their presence.

“My roommates…” she began.

“Yeah, I remembered them from the coffee shop. And they introduced themselves. They seemed… like college girls.”

Kendra and Chelsea abruptly headed into the kitchen as though called away. Elaine leaned back and looked up at Gary. “But I’m a college girl.”

“You’re not the average, garden-variety college girl, Elaine.”

With a sheepish grin, she responded, “You say the sweetest things, Sir.” Suddenly remembering she hadn’t answered his question, Elaine broke his gaze. “And um,” she whispered. “About my dress… I just meant when I sit, I’m going to leave a wet spot at the back of it.” She blushed crimson.

“Much better,” said Gary. “Good girl.” Elaine slid her arms from around him as he took her shoulders in his hands. “Look at me.”

She did. He was smiling warmly.

Gently he took her hand. “Come and sit with me.”

It wasn’t a question. She nodded breathlessly. “Yes, Sir.”

Gary guided Elaine into the booth before sliding in beside her. The booth itself was designed to hold four, but only two settings had been placed and the lighting was intimate. A single, tall slim candle lit their faces in a soft, flickering glow. Candles and dim sconces high on the walls were all that lit the cosy restaurant, and in the background traditional French music played.

In moments Kendra arrived offering water nervously. Elaine nodded appreciatively when Kendra glanced at her, pouring the glasses. Chelsea glided to the table and asked Gary if he’d like his wine opened, an aperitif before dinner, or to wait. He asked for the wine and Chelsea disappeared with Kendra close behind. She soon returned with the bottle and bucket of ice and proceeded to professionally uncork and pour a taste of the sparkling liquid into Gary’s goblet.

Elaine smiled. She always thought it was a funny ritual if you brought the wine with you. But she also thought Gary was sexy doing it. He caught her eye and winked. Realising she was staring, she blushed a little and thanked Chelsea as she filled her glass and left menus. Chelsea said she’d return to take their orders shortly.

And they were alone again.

Gary picked up his wine and nodded to Elaine, encouraging her to do likewise. Proposing a toast, he said, “To journeys… May they never end.”

Elaine softly repeated, “To journeys.” She took a small sip of the wine and was surprised by how good it tasted. She nursed the glass in her slender fingers and looked up at Gary. They were so close their shoulders were almost touching.

He put his glass down and turned toward her. Tilting his head a little, he smiled knowingly.

Elaine blushed more strongly. Her skin was tingling. When Gary grinned openly, she couldn’t help but ask, “Do I have parsley in my teeth?” She stifled a giggle.

Gary chuckled and shook his head. Elaine took another sip of the smooth dry wine before he asked, “In your dreams and fantasies, was it ever like this?”

“Letting go is the hardest part. It’s not a light switch. It’s a process. And it starts here. Tonight. Now.”

Elaine swallowed. “I… I understand.”

“I’m going to make your dreams and fantasies seem insignificant.” Elaine shuddered. Her pussy clenched and she almost dropped her wine. Gary took it from her hand and put it on the table in front of her. “Are you okay?” he whispered, taking her hands in his.

“Y… Yes,” said Elaine. “I think I just ruined my dress.”

Gary chuckled again and said, “That’s all right. I’ll cover you when we leave.”

To Elaine, his reference to leaving ‘together’ was unnerving. Surely he’ll give me another chance to back out…

“That is,” he said. “Together or apart.”

The almost invisible hairs on Elaine’s arms stood up, as though a cool draught had braced her skin. She drew a calming breath, once more amazed at Gary’s ability to read her mind. She opened her mouth to say something but was halted in her tracks by Gary’s intent stare. She watched as he examined her silently, his gaze roaming over her cheeks and nose and eyes, then down to her lips. He lingered there.

He was going to kiss her.

She just knew it!

But he didn’t! He drew back and sat up, reaching for his wine. He took a sip and Elaine couldn’t take her eyes off him. Somehow she knew Gary was forming words. She waited as he put down his glass.

“I’m going to take out the contract and have you sign it then put it back in my pocket.” He turned to her. “It’s not a good idea to have something like that loose on the table for very long. So I don’t want you hesitating to sign. I want you to do your hesitating now, not when I put it on the table in front of you. Understand?”

Elaine gulped. “Yes, Sir.” Her mouth was dry again and she reached for her wine, taking a quick sip.

“I’m going to outline what you are doing, so you can make a clear decision. Okay?”

“O… Okay.”

“All right then.” He held her hands and whispered in intimate tones. “You are being very brave. You are accepting that you are different, and that’s not easy. You are allowing yourself to tread a path many before you have taken. This path leads to a door. Not everyone goes through the door.

“Many turn back. It is no disgrace. You are entitled to choose not to follow the path. And you are entitled to be unsure, or unready or unprepared to go through the door. This is not a make or break moment, Elaine. I have faith in you, and I’ll give you a few chances. If you flee tonight, I won’t hold it against you. Your courage has led you all the way here. I’ll always admire and respect that.”

One of his hands released hers. He reached up to touch her face again. “There is much I want to show you, to tell you, and to be for you. And there is much I want you to be for me. We haven’t talked much about ‘being mine’. It’s been at the back of our conversations. It’s an assumption we’ve both made. We always knew that in order for this to go forward, you had to be mine. The whirlwind of emotions that have brought us to this moment must now be addressed, for once and for all.

“By signing, you will be mine. And I will be yours. From that moment and until Sunday night, I will accept the responsibilities I’ve outlined in the contract, as if our relationship were to continue…” He took a deep breath. “As that is my wish.”

Elaine was battling to hold off the tears. Gary’s hands were so warm.

“I would be honoured to take you as my submissive, Elaine. For the weekend. Who knows how we may feel at the end of it. Every hour, every minute will help us decide. But without taking this step, without taking this risk, we can’t know.

“But if we do, we will.

“We’ll begin to learn everything there is to know about each other… how we tick… how we react, and why. We’ll use our time well and explore all aspects of our relationship. And we’ll know if the promise it has shown is real. By the end of the weekend, we’ll know whether or not we want to continue, together or apart.

“Also you will learn about yourself. Your capabilities… What you want, and need, and desire, and like… and love.” He glanced at her.

God, does he love me?

He continued and Elaine listened.

“The way we’ve done this has been virtually ideal. There is only one question that remains. And you should realise that the answer is an important one. More important than any you have ever contemplated in your life. You are giving your gift, Elaine. The gift of your submission. You are placing it in my hands. Is that what you want?” he asked, staring into Elaine’s eyes. “Do you wish to be mine?”

To Elaine, there was no question. This man, in his smart suit and tie, freshly shaven and cologned… His thoughtfulness, his patience and his nature, at the same time gentle and strong… His face, his eyes, his hands hard from work… His passion…

It all added up.

Here was a man she could serve with pleasure.

Elaine took a deep breath. “I… I want that… To be yours… More than anything.”

“Are you ready to order?”

Gary and Elaine both gawked at Chelsea as if she had two heads. She’d arrived so silently that neither of them had heard her approach.

What did she hear? Elaine wondered.

Thankfully, Chelsea gave no indication of having overheard any of their conversation. The two diners looked at each other and almost laughed. Gary turned to Chelsea and said, “Give us ten more minutes, please.”

“Yes, Sir,” Chelsea said, and was gone.

“Good manners, your roommate,” Gary quipped, with a grin.

“She’s nicer than I thought,” said Elaine honestly.

“Always a pleasant discovery,” replied Gary. “Now… Where were we?”

Elaine took another sip of her wine and placed it back on the table, a little to the side. “I was about to sign the contract.”

The conviction in her words surprised them both. Elaine’s heart started beating wildly as Gary reached inside his suit jacket and took out the contract. He looked around. Their privacy was assured. “Okay?” he asked softly, unfolding it and producing a pen.

Elaine nodded. So did Gary.

He signed.

Holding out the pen for Elaine, he turned the contract toward her and said, “This is it.”

“I… I know.”

And she took the pen.

Chapter 23

Elaine watched as Gary refolded the contract and slipped it into his jacket pocket. She shivered. The ink was barely dry. She hadn’t had time to say a prayer before it was gone.

“In a minute.” Reaching behind her head, he slid his fingers into her silky hair and said, “I want to kiss you first.”

Elaine’s scalp prickled. Her eyes closed, a shudder running through her body. Gary’s grip tightened, but Elaine was shocked that it wasn’t painful. It made her dizzy.

Maybe it’s the adrenaline… Ohhh…

Her neck was gently but insistently bent backward and Elaine could hardly breathe! Her lips parted and she couldn’t think. His demanding mouth took her and her heart stopped beating!

Like a rag doll she surrendered, tightly clinging to his warm body. His mouth was her chocolate, and his hot, swirling tongue heated her from within. Around her ribs his free hand held her, his thumb on the bodice, his fingers pressed into her bare skin.

Pulsating anxiety mixed with devastating pleasure.

Elaine’s resolve was crushed as his lips crushed hers. She yielded. With a single heady kiss, Elaine’s self-control was washed away in a flood of passion. The contract she had signed seemed a distant memory.

She was HIS.

When at last the kiss ended, Elaine was breathing hard, her head spinning, her body shaking. Opening her eyes, she realised their faces were just inches apart. Time stood still. Elaine saw the corners of his mouth slowly turn into a smile. Nervously she smiled back.

“I enjoyed that,” he whispered.

She blushed hotly. “M… Me too.”

“I could tell,” he said quietly, his fingers sliding from her hair.

Elaine wished she could run around the block screaming her head off, just to release the tension! She felt like a wound up spring, about to explode at a moment’s notice. Her chest was heaving and she wondered if the shaking she felt on the inside was noticeable in her hands. She didn’t want to look! She blinked and tried to concentrate. Gary was looking at her curiously.

Should I say something?

She had to swallow before forming words. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Then say nothing. Enjoy the moment, Elaine. Breathe. Submit.”

‘Doing as she was told’ never felt so good. Such power in so few words. Like a talisman she was drawn to them, breathing deeply.

Submit.

“I didn’t bring you flowers,” Gary said, reaching into his other breast pocket.

“I… I wasn’t expecting-” Her words died as he produced a slim faux-gold box about as long as a pen and twice as wide. She hoped he didn’t spend too much, then wondered what she was thinking.

Handing it to Elaine, he said, “Perhaps a gift will make you feel less nervous.” He chuckled. “But I doubt it.”

Inside the metal box Elaine found a simple strip of soft, black kid leather. It was folded over on itself and she took it out, discovering it to be a very basic choker for her neck. Holding it in her shaking hands, she looked up at Gary questioningly.

“While wearing it, you may consider yourself ‘mine’.”

She looked down at it. “A… A collar?”

“Of course.”

She tried putting it on immediately and fumbled with the clasp. Her fingers felt numb.

“Here,” said Gary, beckoning for it. “Let me.”

She thought she’d get it in another second and tried again and missed. She was about to try again.

“Elaine.”

Looking up at Gary’s stern face, she wondered what the hell she was doing.

“It would be my pleasure to fix it for you. Understand? My pleasure.” His face softened. “Surely it is not your wish to deny me my pleasure.”

“No!” Elaine gasped, dropping the choker into his hands. Trying to redeem herself, she looked up at him and said, “I mean… I’m sorry. No, Sir.”

She spun in place, swallowing as wet silk bunched under her ass, tugging against her most sensitive skin. Her breath came thick and fast. She put a hand behind her head, suddenly wishing her hair were longer.

Gary held the choker against her neck, taking his time and leaning into her ear. “You may call me, ‘Sir’, anywhere but in public.”

With an audible ‘click’ the clasp locked and Elaine shivered. She had to get a hold of herself.

I can’t believe I’m fucking this up!

She turned back to him, unable to meet his eyes. “Th… Thank you for reminding me.” Elaine touched the choker with her fingertips. It was so soft. “And… And thank you for believing in me.”

She looked up at him, hoping her words met with his approval. He nodded before glancing toward a movement away from their table. Elaine followed his eyes and saw Chelsea approaching. Gary leaned down, whispering as Chelsea got closer and closer, “I bet you’re sopping fucking wet, aren’t you?”

Chelsea asked if they were ready to place their orders. Gary closed his menu and raised his eyebrow at Elaine.

God, he already knows what he wants!

Holding the leather-bound ‘Carte du Jour’ in her hands, the words swam and she saw French everywhere. She hadn’t had a chance to look at it yet, had she? She couldn’t even remember! She didn’t think she’d be able to make a decision anytime soon. If ever!

Sensing her predicament, or perhaps even fostering it, Gary offered, “If it meets with your approval, it would be my pleasure to order for you.”

If nothing else, Elaine was a quick learner. She instantly relented.

It would be his pleasure…

“Please… I… I can’t decide…”

And I wish my fucking thighs would stop twitching!

How could she explain what was happening to her? She couldn’t understand it herself. Something had changed. Something had been tweaked. Gary was harder. More driven. Sitting next to him, bearing the full force of him, was an awe-inspiring experience. Elaine needed to pay attention. She watched him in profile as he read from the menu and Chelsea scribbled. His French was very good.

I have to let go.

I… I’m going to let him do anything he wants…

Chelsea disappeared and Gary turned back to Elaine, their thighs barely touching. He picked up his glass and urged her to do likewise. He proposed another toast. “To opening the door.” They clinked glasses and Elaine took a large, fortifying sip. The wine was superb. She wondered if it somehow tasted better because of what was happening. Putting down his glass, Gary looked at Elaine and asked, “What’s on your mind?”

Elaine swallowed. Haltingly she replied, “I’m just amazed… at um, at everything.”

Butterflies took flight. Elaine clenched her thighs together. Her cheeks felt like they’d turned crimson. Her mouth was a desert and she licked her lips. It was true. She was burning up. No matter what was going through her mind, her body had its own ideas.

She knew things would change once she was Gary’s, but she hadn’t expected the avalanche that even now seemed to be gathering pace. Or had she?

What the hell DID I expect?

She mumbled, “I’m so fucking hot it’s insane.”

Suddenly Gary’s hand was caressing her face, lightly gliding over the soft skin of her cheek. “That’s better,” he whispered. “You can be very pleasing when you allow it. Remember you are with your Dominant, Elaine. Everything is all right. Trust me. Let go. Relax.” Turning his hand over and brushing her cheek with the back of his fingers, he said, “We’ll enjoy a nice meal, then I’ll take you away from here and do nasty things to you.”

He wiggled his eyebrows and Elaine giggled.

She was amazed. She had a feeling that ‘the Gary’ she knew from the Internet, had not been the whole picture. When he wiggled his brows, Elaine was reminded of the many laughs they’d had in their late night conversations. The way his dominance over her intensified after she had signed the contract had been obvious, and she had to admit, not completely surprising. She simply hadn’t expected the intensity of it. Apart from some of the good-natured teasing, and a few moments that had caused her jaw to drop, the online experience was nothing like this. She couldn’t compare what was happening to anything, and could only judge according to how it made her feel. And when Gary had said, ‘…do nasty things to you,’ a surge of electricity had radiated out across her skin, raising every tiny fine hair on her body.

Words leapt from her mouth before she’d given them a second thought. “How do you know what I want? How can you know me so well?”

Gary took her chin in his hand, looking deeply into Elaine’s eyes. Seconds passed before he spoke evenly. “I see it in your eyes… In your eyes and in your voice. In the words you choose. And in the way you say them. The way you listen… The way you react… We connect, Elaine. We’re on the same page. We are on the same side. Both of us want the same things…. Honesty. Our choices respected. To live our lives as we see fit.” He smiled down at her. “We know this because we’ve talked about it. We are here, now, because we want to give to the other what they want and need.”

Elaine nodded, remembering the conversations they’d had.

He is going to stick to my list. He’s not going to hurt me in any way I can’t handle. He said he’d be gentle. He’ll explain everything. God. He hasn’t changed. It’s just… more.

But it was so much more it was almost completely different. Elaine felt like she’d arrived on another planet. A place with different rules. A place that was exciting and dangerous. Ominous. Looking up at Gary, there was still softness there. She could see it in the deep brown eyes that were staring back at her. Strangely, in spite of the passionate storm she sensed was brewing, Elaine felt safe with him. He would look after her.

She had a feeling he always would.

Again they were interrupted. Gary looked as keen as Elaine to have some privacy. “Here comes your roommate.” He winked. “It must be hell at home.”

“Tell me about it,” she said, chuckling and shaking her head. As Chelsea approached, Elaine was captured by the smile on her face. It was somehow different. More genuine. Almost sisterly. Elaine could tell Chelsea was happy for her. It was a look she hadn’t seen before.

“Fresh from the oven,” Chelsea said chirpily, placing steaming bread rolls between the two diners. “Entrée will be served shortly.” She bowed and spun on her heels, skipping away.

Gary leaned back in the booth, placing his arm along the top of the backrest extending behind Elaine. The movement opened his suit jacket, exposing much of his shirt down to his waist. Elaine’s eyes travelled down his chest, inevitably ending at his crotch. There she lingered, fascinated by the big bulge whose outline she could clearly see. The sight parched her mouth. Instinctively she licked her lips then caught herself doing it and glanced up at Gary.

How can I be so obvious?

Elaine was trying to think of something clever to say, but she was tongue-tied. Before she had a chance to come up with anything, Gary took her by the wrist and placed her hand directly on his cock. “Since you seem to be so fascinated, I’ll let you touch me until someone comes… But not me.” He winked.

Elaine blushed furiously and her breath quickened. She tried to speak, even as her fingers tentatively closed around it. Instantly he began to harden. “I…” Nothing came out. The only thing she could think was, He’s right. This is what I want.

“Don’t stroke it,” he whispered. “Just squeeze gently. That’s all.”

Numbly Elaine nodded, consumed by heat.

Oh, my God! I’m holding his cock!

And it’s getting harder…

I’m making it harder!

Even through the fabric of his slacks, it seemed to burn into Elaine’s hand. Before long it felt like an iron bar wrapped in warm rubber.

Not warm.

Hot.

She froze when Chelsea and Kendra approached the table carrying the entrée. It was on fire! Gulping, Elaine quickly slid her hand off Gary’s cock and onto his thigh. She swooned. The muscles in his upper leg rippled. It was still exciting, but she couldn’t believe she’d just been holding his cock right in the middle of a restaurant. Elaine’s other hand trembled as she reached for her water. Chelsea and Kendra fussed and smiled at each other, serving from the sizzling platter.

Elaine and Gary glanced at each other. He winked again and she blushed hard.

Once they were done serving, Chelsea offered cracked pepper and Elaine could only nod, her mouth too dry to trust with speech. She then replenished their wineglasses and Kendra their water. Gary seemed unaffected by Elaine’s hand on his leg, breaking his bread and buttering half of it. But she knew better.

She knew he was hard.

When her roommates left them to the entrée, Gary picked up a small fork and began feeding Elaine. She found it intimate and sexy. And she could keep her hand on his leg, which she was thoroughly enjoying. Opening her mouth for her third forkful, Gary asked if she liked the escargot. She had to admit it was heavenly.

Gently she drew her nails up his thigh, not really sure what she was doing. Gary was unmoved, even as her fingertips moved higher and higher on the inside of his thigh. She froze, stifling a gasp as the edge of her hand bumped against his still hard cock.

God… The heat of it…

Tightening her grip on his thigh again, Elaine lightly dug in her nails and felt his cock twitch. She bet it was huge. And she was so wet. She had to stop clenching her thighs together. Gary cleared his throat and smiled at her.

“I’ll let you touch my cock again…” Anticipating his permission, Elaine had started lifting her hand. Gary covered it with his own. “If you beg nicely.”

She shuddered, the words catching in her throat. “I…”

“Such a dirty girl,” he whispered. “Beg.”

“I… I want to touch it again. P… Please let me. It’s so hard… and hot. I… I just want to touch it a little more, please…”

He placed her hand on his cock and said, “When we’re alone, be prepared.”

Trembles of trepidation and uncontrollable pleasure ran through Elaine’s body. With her fingers again tightening around his steely hardness, Elaine was offered another morsel on the end of the silver fork. The delicious soft meat melted in her mouth and she allowed the low moan that had been building in her chest to escape. “Mmmmmmm…”

Gary chuckled and put down the fork. Elaine swallowed rapidly as he reached up and slid his index finger between her lips. She wrapped her tongue around the invading digit, sucking it gently and looking into Gary’s eyes. His cock throbbed in her hand and she thought it was the hottest thing ever.

“You want to suck me, don’t you, dirty girl?”

Elaine nodded slowly and sucked harder on his finger. Breathing fast through her nose, she had to will herself not to grab his wrist and pull it further in.

Gary instead pulled it free and whispered, “If you ask nicely, I’ll let you suck me before I fuck you.”

“I… I…”

Argh!

“I bet you’ll be a good cocksucker. Enthusiastic and eager to learn. Are you going to be my eager little cocksucker, Elaine?”

Her cheeks burned. “Y… Yes…”

“That’s nice, but not what I was expecting.”

Elaine glanced around. No one was nearby. She grit her teeth, determined to say the words she knew he wanted to hear. “Please… Please let me suck you. I want to be your eager little c… cocksucker. I want to do it. I’ll… I’ll do anything.” Her pussy was spasming and blood was pounding in her ears. She hadn’t realised she’d begun stroking Gary’s cock through his pants, but he had.

“That’s better,” he said, taking Elaine’s wrist and moving her hand back onto his thigh. “When you know my needs more intimately, you’ll know what you can do and when you can do it. Until then, use your commonsense. If you’re unsure, ask. If it can’t wait, interrupt me. In my mind, into the future, your concerns will always come first. Unless of course,” he said, patting her hand. “Allowing you to continue wastes a huge load of cum.” He winked.

“Th… Thank you, Sir,” Elaine said breathlessly, surprised at her choice of words.

If only I wasn’t so desperately horny I could think straight…

Her fingertips were tingling. The feeling of his cock lingered. If he’d asked her to suck him right there under the table, she would have! She squirmed on the hot leather, gasping at the mess she was making of her dress. It felt like it was plastered to her ass!

“Keep your knees six inches apart.”

Prising them apart was torture. “Ohhh,” she moaned under her breath.

“Once I open you up, I’m going to fuck you hard,” Gary murmured, his eyes glazing.

“I… I want…” Elaine said mindlessly.

“You want?”

Elaine tried to concentrate through her sexual haze. “I… I mean, I want you to help me… to show me…. Please…” She was dying to give him pleasure, to make him moan. “I want you to make me do what you want. I’ll do it. Willingly. Just… Just tell me what it is.” To Elaine’s mind came a vision of herself on her knees before him, sucking him and stroking him and making him cum all over her. “God…” she gasped.

Her pussy clenched, her clit spasmed and her nipples throbbed all at once. Somehow she kept her knees apart as scalding heat flooded her body. She was hotter and wetter than she’d ever been. Talking about having sex, aloud, was far more exciting than she’d ever imagined it would be. Catching her breath, she struggled to compose herself. She tingled all over and wondered if she’d had a small orgasm. Shifting her position, she dragged her nipples across the stiffened back of the bodice and almost moaned again.

“You’ll get the chance to demonstrate your enthusiasm,” said Gary. “Your impatience is pleasing.” It barely registered that they had finished the entrée. Gary used his cloth napkin, and with shaking hands Elaine used hers. She melted as he put his arm around her, drawing her to him. He kissed her lips gently before he spoke. “We have a long night ahead of us.”

Elaine sighed.

“What is it?” Gary asked.

“I’m…” She swallowed. Her mouth was so dry. “I’m going to embarrass myself in this dress. I’ve soaked right through it.”

“Don’t worry,” said Gary, sipping his wine. “I have a coat in the car.”

Elaine stared in disbelief. “Y… You do?”

“Sure. I told you I’d cover you. I’ll get it before we leave. Stop worrying.”

Elaine couldn’t help herself. She reached up with both hands and brought his face down to hers, kissing him lightly all over it. His lips. His eyes. The tip of his nose. His lips again. And again. “Thank you,” she whispered, over and over between kisses. “Thank you… Thank you…”

“Mmmmmm,” Gary moaned softly, putting down his glass. “Nice.”

“Ahem,” said Kendra, standing by their table with a huge grin on her face.

Elaine wondered how long she’d have to wait before she could suck Gary. Maybe he’d let her suck it in the car. She wanted to feel his cock in her hands and mouth. Naked and hard and hot to stoke and suck and make him moan. She gritted her teeth.

I hope I can do it… I hope he teaches me how…

Elaine tried to swallow, instead reaching for her replenished glass of water.

For years she had regularly masturbated to the thought of cum shooting into her mouth. She wanted to find out what it was like. She wanted to know what everything was like. Elaine was sure Gary would be pleased by her attitude. At least she knew him that well. And anyway, maybe he’d prefer to blow it all over her. She’d masturbated to that fantasy a lot too.

Where had her confidence come from? Maybe it was Gary rubbing off on her. Or maybe it was his strange ability to make her open up. To be able to talk about anything verged on the bizarre. Yet she looked forward to every conversation the future held.

No matter what it’s about…

*********************

Chelsea and Kendra had delivered the main course, and in terrible French accents had bid Elaine and Gary, ‘Bon Appetite!’ Despite their less than impressive grasp of the French language, they had left behind a sumptuous, aromatic meal of rich sauces and pastas and seafood and salads spread across the table. Accompanied by the quiet French music and the flickering candles, Elaine wondered whether eating out would ever be the same again.

She had finally begun to relax. With the knowledge that Gary had brought a coat she could wear, the snake of anxiety that had coiled around Elaine’s stomach loosened its heartbreaking grip. There was still a buzzing nervousness about what lay ahead. But at least she wasn’t going to make a fool of herself as well.

Looking over the spread of food before her, she thought they’d never eat it all.

Gary shook his head knowingly and suggested they eat up. Elaine wondered what he’d been thinking but her question was soon forgotten as he began explaining what she was eating and gave her brief descriptions of the regions from which the dishes originated. Elaine was very surprised by Gary’s grasp of French cuisine.

As they ate, she asked him how he knew so much about France and he explained his origins; that his mother was French and had taught him all she knew. Elaine liked the fact that she didn’t know everything about Gary. She was certain she’d learn a lot more about him over the weekend. Another tremble ran through her body, but Gary was taking a mouthful and hadn’t noticed.

Conversation between them ebbed and flowed as they made inroads into the mountains of food. Concentrating on the almost continuous exchange of words, Elaine’s hyper-arousal gradually decreased, along with her anxiety. Both settled down to a low background hum.

The more they talked, the more she relaxed.

It’s still Gary.

With his expressive eyes and deep voice, it was easy to listen to him when he spoke. He was very direct and open. Elaine knew he was holding nothing back. And everything about him fascinated her.

They joked and smiled and talked about their respective pasts and childhoods, remembering funny stories and anecdotes. Before long Elaine was feeling full and realised they’d been talking for almost an hour. The wine was refreshing, but she didn’t know how many glasses she’d consumed. Gary had topped it up regularly, even though he’d been drinking only water for the past half hour.

Then it dawned on her.

He’s getting ready.

A chill ran through her veins. It wouldn’t be long before they’d be leaving. Then they’d be alone. She wondered how long the drive to his home would take. Longer than normal if Gary held to his promise of fucking her over the hood of his car. She wondered if he remembered.

‘Be prepared’.

Elaine smiled and shook her head. It would be better to arrive at his place after fucking. She bit her lip, figuring she’d be a lot more receptive for whatever he might have in store. She loosened her shoulders as she finished her salad. Her nipples were swelling again. Gary spoke and she tuned in. She’d been off with the fairies.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, reaching for his water.

“Yes?” Elaine replied, almost too quickly. She picked up her napkin and dabbed at the corners of her mouth.

“I’ve been wondering whether, ‘Being spanked outdoors’ was on the BDSM list.”

“Um,” said Elaine, suddenly aware of her dry mouth. She took a sip of wine. “I can’t remember. I don’t think so.”

“If it was, how would you rate it?”

“I…” Rate it? “I’d want it, um, now and then.”

“Outside?”

“Y… Yes.” The rush of blood to Elaine’s face was palpable.

“You really want to be spanked don’t you?”

“Yes,” she said softly, fussing with her cutlery.

“Eyes on me,” he said. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” said Elaine, paying attention. “I guess because I’m…”

Gary chipped in, “A bad girl?”

Elaine grinned. “Well, I do feel naughty, and a spanking seems weirdly appropriate on some level. But I was going to say was, ‘Because I’m curious’.”

“Do you like to be dominated, Elaine? Are you enjoying me, and how you feel, this evening? Is it everything you’d hoped for? Everything you’d dreamed?”

“Yes. I’m… I’m blown away,” she mumbled, touching the leather choker.

Elaine held her breath as his gaze intensified. He seemed to be looking right through her and she wondered if she’d said something wrong. Her heart skipped a beat as Gary slowly smiled and said, “I’m pleased. Being unsure of yourself is normal.”

Without a thought, Elaine responded, “When I’m with you, I know who I am.”

Gary’s warm hand held the side of Elaine’s face, his thumb making small circles on her cheekbone. She leaned into his palm, wishing the magic of this evening would never end. Gary’s arm went around her and they cuddled. He kissed her forehead and she caressed his chest through his shirt.

Wow…

“When we leave, just focus on me.”

“O… Okay.” Her cheeks heated at a strange thought. “Um, Gary?”

“Yes?”

“Is it weird that the idea of ‘submitting to a spanking’ is more appealing than the spanking itself?”

“Not at all,” said Gary, breaking their hug to butter the last of his bread and wipe clean his plate. “There are a number of iconic situations that almost define the sexual side of submission.” He stopped to take a bite. Elaine remained quiet, watching him think. “Laying over a Dominant’s knees for a spanking or paddling is definitely iconic. Kneeling is probably the most common one though. The use of restraints, such as being tied down on a bed, or being hung by the hands and flogged, even simply being handcuffed or blindfolded would be some of the others. Those basic situations, and variations of them, make up the vast majority of BDSM ‘play’.”

Elaine nodded, listening.

“So… No. It’s not weird at all. In fact, I’d say it was completely normal for a girl with, at the very least, ‘submissive tendencies’, to fantasise about such things. Particularly when you discover that the pain involved can be manipulated and controlled to the level that suits you. It certainly doesn’t need to hurt as much as you might have first imagined. Of course a lot of the excitement comes from the fact that the potential is there.” Gary finished off his bread and used his napkin again.

Elaine liked how he explained things. He made her questions seem normal. She thought it was great that he could explain things without making her feel silly. She smiled up at him as he continued.

“Besides ‘SSC’, there is the alternative, ‘RACK’, which is common in some communities. It stands for ‘Risk-Aware Consensual Kink’. There are always risks involved. Some minimise them by choosing not to indulge in certain lifestyle choices, such as knife-play or fire-play or needle-play, for whatever reason. Others participate, but reduce the risks through practice and safety measures. Trust is everything. But there are always risks.”

“Choosing someone who knows what they are doing reduces the risks,” Elaine offered.

“That’s true,” he said, sliding his fingers into her hair again. A shiver ran down her neck. “But choosing someone who makes you aware of the risks, so that you can make knowledgeable decisions about your consensuality, is what I’m talking about. For example, before I flog you, I will show you the tool and explain its function. Then we’ll talk about the risks and the things that can happen if, for example, my aim is not so good.” He winked.

Elaine was trembling. “I… I don’t want anything to hurt too much.”

Gary’s fingers tightened. “I know,” he said softly, looking into Elaine’s eyes. “Don’t worry. A ‘pleasurable spanking’ is not a painful, punishment situation. It’s playful and fun. Fearing the unknown is understandable. But when I spank you for the pleasure of having you over my knees, it won’t be very hard. So don’t worry.”

Elaine heart was hammering. A vision of herself, squirming nakedly over his knees invaded her mind. She swallowed. “All… All right.”

He leaned down and kissed her lightly on her forehead. “Unless you’re verynaughty, of course.”

Elaine’s breath quickened. “Um, what constitutes, ‘very naughty’?”

Gary let go of her hair. “Between us we’ll figure it out. Mainly things you wouldn’t think of doing at this stage, such as inattention to my SSC directions; refusing to follow them; or disrespecting or provoking me. Things like that. It all depends on the situation and the circumstances. Most of the time you’ll realise you’ve done something wrong, sometimes even as you do it. Punishment is all part of learning about Dominance and submission and where you fit in. It’s not really something you can avoid when you lack experience. And that’s okay. In the future, it is highly likely you’ll be punished less and less as you begin to meet and exceed my expectations. In the meantime, you know I’m not a severe, sadistic Master. I’m going to keep a close eye on you to make sure I don’t treat you in any way that would exceed what I intend, or any more than you could stand.”

“Th… Thank you. Again.” Elaine quickly sipped her wine.

“The intention of punishment is to pay your penance and to assuage your guilt. It needs to be proportional to the sin, but also proportional to the guilt, to meet it and quash it, and not exceed it. At this stage we don’t know much about your tolerance of pain so it’ll be interesting. Who knows? You might even want a harder spanking once you’ve had a pleasurable one.”

“Okay then. I trust you will enjoy the fine Cognac that will be served with coffee.”

“Thank you.” Elaine sat back and listened, her jaw dropping as the Frenchman turned his attention back to Gary. Amazingly, the two men launched into a brief conversation in completely fluent French. Far from feeling left out, Gary took Elaine’s hand and placed it back on his thigh while he was talking. He covered it with his own and slid each of his fingers between hers.

The Maitre’d suddenly bowed and bid them good evening before disappearing.

In moments Kendra was clearing their table and Chelsea was asking if they were interested in dessert. Elaine and Gary looked at each other and shook their heads simultaneously. Elaine was feeling giddy, anticipation returning with a rush. Gary ordered coffees for them both.

When they were alone again, he said, “Not long now.”

Elaine knew it was close. Soon they’d be in his car. Heading to his place. She was going to be fucked soon. Fucked. She hoped they’d make love later, but right now what she wanted was to be fucked. She’d waited so long for it. And now it was going to happen. Tingles ran up and down her thighs. Her clit hardened, pulsing in time with her rapid heartbeat. She wanted it. She wanted it all!

Maybe he’ll spank me while he fucks me…

Looking up at Gary, Elaine whispered, “I’m so ready.” Once again a strange sense of acceptance, a determination to stick to the path flooded through her. She wondered if it showed on her face.

Gary didn’t respond straight away, perhaps seeing it in her eyes. Then he asked quietly, “Ready for what, little one?”

Elaine didn’t get a chance to answer immediately. In seconds Kendra and Chelsea were laying out coffees and Cognac. Then they were gone. It happened so quickly Elaine still had her answer on the tip of her tongue.

After passing Elaine a small tumbler of liqueur, again Gary asked, “What are you ready for?”

Elaine took a slow breath, gazing up at him. “Anything that pleases you.”

“I see,” said Gary, a smile in the corner of his mouth. “Anything, eh?”

“Anything SSC.”

“Squeeze your thighs together until I tell you to stop.”

“Ohhh…” She almost spilt her Cognac.

“You’re getting good at this.”

Elaine’s breath caught in her chest, coming out in short shudders. “I… I know what I want,” she managed, putting down her liqueur, her hand shaking.

“Knees apart, twelve inches.”

Elaine panted. Twelve. Now I feel dirty. She creamed at the thought.

Gary took Elaine’s hands in his. “And I know what I want. I want to give you an experience that you will never forget. One you will crave again and again. One you will masturbate to when you are lying in your bed remembering what I did. I want you to desperately want this, all of it. Because I want you… So be truthful with me. Always. Do things because you want to do them. Don’t lie. Don’t pretend.”

Trembling with a combination of anxiety and excitement, Elaine could at least discern Gary’s subtle reference to his ex. She looked down at his hands so tightly holding hers. “I promise I won’t. I’ll always be honest with you,” she said, again looking up at him. She had to blink away a tear. “Always.”

“Good girl.”

Elaine had the feeling she’d seen a more vulnerable side of Gary than she might see in a long while. He picked up his coffee and nodded, urging her to follow suit. She sipped dutifully. Then she had a thought. “May I ask a question?”

“You may.”

“Thank you.” She swallowed. “What… What am I doing right?”

Gary didn’t hesitate. “You are being yourself.”

Elaine couldn’t help the need for reassurance. She was new to this! Her skin prickled. “Earlier… you asked whether I wanted to ‘know’.”

He nodded.

“What…” She cleared her throat. “What do you want to do to me?”

He leaned into her ear and blew softly into it. He kissed it, then ran his tongue around the edge of it. By the time he was gently sucking the lobe Elaine was shaking. She had to bite her lip to stop from moaning. Her eyes fluttered closed as Gary whispered, “I want to do everything to you. I want to tease you until you can’t stand it. I want to use you to the point of exhaustion. I want to take you to the places you’ve ached to be. And I want to teach you all you want to learn.”

He sat back up, leaving Elaine breathless and tingling to her toes. Her pussy was clenching uncontrollably.

She carefully picked up her Cognac, taking a big slug of it. “Y… You always say the right thing.”

He winked.

From the shadows Kendra appeared, offering more coffee. Gary declined and so did Elaine. They drained what was left in their cups and Kendra cleared away the table. Before she left, Gary asked for the check and Elaine started to panic.

Here we go….

When Kendra was gone, Gary said, “I’ll go get my coat for you. I’ll be back in a moment.” Elaine barely had time to nod before he’d stood and left the table. She shivered as she watched him walk away.

When he comes back, we’ll be leaving…

She held up her hands to examine them. They were shaking violently.

Chelsea strode to the table urgently, placing the check to the side and gasping, “Well? Is everything okay? Are you going through with it?”

Elaine hid her hands. “Y… Yes. I’m just nervous.”

“I’m sure it’ll be wonderful. Call us in the morning and tell us you’re okay. Please?”

“Okay,” said Elaine. “I will. And um, thanks. Tonight was wonderful.”

Chelsea was smiling that sisterly smile again. “Anytime. I better skedaddle. Have fun.”

Gary passed Chelsea on his way back to the table. He handed Elaine his coat and sat down beside her. “Probably a good idea to put that on before you go to the bathroom. And I’d suggest you go.”

Elaine didn’t need prompting. She’d been busting for an hour. Draping his coat around her shoulders, she took a calming breath. “Thank you, Gary. I’ll be back soon.” She shuffled around the table and stood, adjusting his coat to ensure her modesty before grabbing her purse and heading for the bathroom.

She’d just finished washing her hands when Kendra burst through the door. Elaine giggled. She was half-expecting it this time. But she hadn’t expected Kendra to rush up to her and hug her so tightly.

Into Elaine’s ear Kendra gasped, “You’re coming back, aren’t you?”

Elaine laughed softly and held Kendra back by her shoulders. “Coming back? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” she said, sighing. “I just get the feeling this is more serious than you are letting on.”

Elaine shook her head. “Maybe it is. I’m not sure yet. But I have no plans to move out.”

“Thank God. I mean… I’m happy for you and everything. I…” Kendra was struggling for words. “I’m going to need friends. I’d like to keep the good ones.”

“You’re a nut, Kendra.”

“Don’t you start.” She grinned and hugged Elaine again. “Why are you wearing his coat?”

Elaine blushed. “Long story.”

“Um, okay. So you’re all right? Everything is working out?”

“Everything’s fine,” Elaine said, fixing her lipstick in the mirror. “I’ll tell you all about it when I get home on Sunday night. Well, I’ll tell you everything I can work up the nerve to tell you.”

“I’ll get a bottle of champagne. That should loosen your tongue.”

“I’d love that,” said Elaine softly, turning away from the mirror.

“I’ll have it on ice.”

They shared a moment before Elaine said, “I better get back.”

“Yes,” said Kendra. “Sorry. I just wanted to make sure everything was all right.”

“Thanks, Kendra. You can be a sweetheart.”

“Don’t tell anyone.” She winked.

“I won’t,” said Elaine, grinning. “Oh, and I told Chelsea I’d call in the morning, so don’t worry.”

“Good,” said Kendra, holding open the bathroom door. “I was going to ask you to do that.”

They stood outside the entrance and Elaine kissed Kendra’s cheek. “Thanks for worrying about me. I’ll be fine. He’s… He’s a good man.”

“Then you’re lucky to have found him.”

Elaine smiled at Kendra’s sage words. “Wish me luck?”

“Good luck! Talk to you tomorrow!”

Kendra disappeared around the corner, in a hurry to resume her duties. Elaine was left standing in the dim light outside the ladies bathroom. Her heart started pounding again as she looked in the direction of the table. Gary was seated behind a divider between the booths and she couldn’t see him. But she knew he was there, waiting for her.

She went to take a step and almost stumbled. Her legs felt weak and she put her hand up against the wall to steady herself. Suddenly she realised she was taking short, sharp breaths, threatening to hyperventilate. She tried to slow her breathing. In a few seconds she was feeling less light-headed.

I can do this.

She took a deep, gratifying lungful of air and headed for the table.

Gary stood when she arrived. “Would you like to get out of here?”

“Yes,” said Elaine, drawing his coat around her.

“Me too. I paid the cheque.” Gary eyed her carefully. “Are you okay?”

“I feel… I don’t know… Still a bit scared I think.”

Gary put his arm around Elaine, steering her into his embrace. He kissed her forehead and she turned into his chest. “Eyes on me,” he whispered. She looked up at him and he continued. “Elaine, I’m not going to lie to you. I’m going to provide you with a well-rounded lifestyle experience. It will include things that vanilla people would call ‘extreme’. But they don’t understand the subtlety of the art. D/s isn’t about hurting you. Not physically, not mentally, and certainly not emotionally. It’s about using the tools at my disposal to bring you pleasure and sensations the likes of which you’ve only dreamed.”

Elaine felt her knees getting weak again.

“It’s about providing you with the space to be the person you want to be. I don’t want to change you. I don’t want to alter who you are. And I don’t want you to think you have to change to please me. I like you just the way you are. The things you learn will add to you. They won’t take anything away.”

“Won’t I feel differently about things? My life will change, won’t it?”

He caressed her cheek. “Life has a tendency to evolve from one day to the next. Sometimes it’s so slow it’s almost unnoticeable. Other times it’s sudden. Sometimes it’s imposed on us. Sometimes it’s a choice. Whichever way it happens, life continues to evolve. Nothing stays the same forever.”

Elaine hugged him tightly. Her nerves were frazzled. She wanted to stop worrying. And she was grappling with the little self-control she’d retained. Yet she couldn’t wait to get out of her damned dress. The bodice was driving her nipples nuts. She’d only just cleaned up ‘downstairs’ and already her juices were flowing.

What was it he’d said? Relax, breathe, submit… Let go.

She took a few deep breaths. He was right. Nothing stayed the same forever. One day, she’d probably look back and shake her head at how anxious she’d been.

He smiled at her. “Feeling better?”

Elaine slipped her arms inside his jacket, wrapping them around his warm torso. She wanted to pull his shirt out of his pants to get at his broad, muscular back but she didn’t dare. Her mouth was so dry she had to lick her lips before speaking. “All… All along I’ve been worried about the moment when we’d finally be alone. But I’ve had it wrong… I’ve just realised that I can’t relax until we’re alone,” Elaine said, her eyes sparkling.

“If you’re feeling THAT confident, then I must be doing something wrong.”

Elaine whispered, “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“If you keep squirming around, I might slip up.”

Elaine smirked heatedly. She hoped she was getting to him. When she pressed against him, she wondered if he’d even notice she was subtly moving. His cock felt so good against her. The contact was electric. “I’m sorry. I… I can’t help it,” she breathed.

Gary’s eyes darkened. “Let’s get out of here.”

He turned her around, and her head spun. In a flash they were walking toward the double doors at the front of the restaurant. Elaine was filled with dire apprehension, even as she snuggled under Gary’s protective arm.

Thank God he’s holding onto me, she thought, her balance wavering.

The Maitre’d was standing by the front door. Chelsea and Kendra were also waiting for them, grinning as they approached. Like schoolgirls Elaine’s roommates pulled her aside and Gary let her go, distracted by another frantic French conversation. They made eyes at each other as they were separated.

“Woohooo, Elaine,” Chelsea teased under her breath, giving her a big hug. “Knock his socks off.”

“I’ll try.” Elaine turned to Kendra, her blush renewed.

As she hugged her warmly, Kendra said, “Give the girl a break. She’s still finding her way.”

“All right, all right,” Chelsea responded as they stood, a tight-knit group. “I just can’t help thinking she’s going to need some TLC after this weekend. I mean, look at him.” All three girls looked at Gary. Catching their glance, he shook his head almost imperceptibly.

Elaine giggled.

“Oh! I got your bag,” said Chelsea, leaving abruptly.

When she was gone, Kendra said, “We’ll be worried about you, so call before twelve, or we’ll call you.”

“O… Okay.”

In seconds Chelsea was back. She quickly explained she’d given Elaine’s bag to Gary. She smiled and said, “So… Take care of yourself.”

Elaine took another deep breath. “I will.” The moment was coming. She broke out in goose bumps.

Kendra glanced over at Gary again and, apparently satisfied he wasn’t listening, whispered, “Do you have lube? They never think of lube…”

Elaine and Chelsea looked at Kendra and nearly cracked up laughing. Remembering the feel of him, Elaine bit her lip. Leaning toward her roommates and smiling as they did likewise, she whispered, “I um… I actually did remember it, but I so don’t think I’m gonna need it.”

“Hussy,” said Chelsea, grinning.

“Slut,” giggled Kendra.

“Bitches,” Elaine retorted, poking out her tongue.

With an exchange of completely inappropriate words, Elaine had never felt closer to her roommates. They smiled at each other and hugged, cheek to cheek. Elaine was sure she wouldn’t be able to tell them all about the weekend, but she smiled at the thought. They probably wouldn’t have believed her anyway.

“Thank you for looking after us,” interrupted Gary.

He was standing over the girls and their impromptu apartment meeting broke up with squeezes of hands and touches on Elaine’s cheek. They stepped backward and bowed, saying, “You’re welcome.”

Elaine smiled at Chelsea and she smiled back, nodding once.

Kendra silently mouthed, ‘Be careful,’ and touched her heart.

Elaine felt like crying. She swallowed, nodded, and held her nerve.

Gary took her hand, hijacking her attention. When her eyes met his, he asked, “Shall we make tracks?”

“Yes,” she said breathlessly, curling her fingers around his.

“Then let’s go.” To the Maitre’d, and to Chelsea and Kendra, Gary said, “Thank you again for a perfect evening.”

In moments the bell above the door rang as it closed behind them and Elaine and Gary were welcomed by the sultry blanket of the late summer evening. Silently carrying Elaine’s bag in one hand, Gary led her to his car with the other. He unlocked the doors and put her bag in the back seat, then guided Elaine around to the passenger side.

Halfway there, Gary stopped, right in front of his car. He looked down at it.

Curiously, Elaine looked closer. “Did someone leave a dent?”

“I was thinking about how nice you’ll look, bent over the hood getting fucked.”

He remembered!

Elaine didn’t know whether to giggle or faint. He knees wobbled and Gary caught her. There was something incredibly intoxicating about doing it like that. From behind. She was going to beg him to smack her ass. That’s what she wanted.

God.

“So you like that idea, do you?” he asked, taking her elbow again.

“Yesss,” Elaine hissed. She didn’t mean it to come out like that. Gary chuckled and opened the door for her. Before she could slip inside, Gary took his coat from her shoulders and tossed it in the backseat with her bag.

Wow…

Gary held Elaine’s hand, assisting her into the car. As she sank into the upholstery, she made sure her dress wouldn’t get caught. Pushing the door firmly closed, he walked around the front of the car again. She watched him and he winked. Then he patted the hood.

Elaine squirmed.

They were plunged into darkness when Gary closed his door. Elaine held her breath until he fired up the engine and turned on the headlights. The dashboard glowed and he looked across at Elaine. “We’re alone.”

“Y… Yes.”

Gary put the car into gear. As they started to move, the tyres crunched on loose gravel. “How does it feel?”

Elaine thought the car was vibrating right through her body. Or maybe it was her. “N… Nerve-wracking.”

“Say the word and I’ll take you home.”

“No. I’m okay. I… I’m ready. I want to do this.”

One touch and I think I’ll cum…

“So you’re ready to do exactly as I say,” said Gary, heading for the highway on-ramp. “No matter what it is?”

“I’ll… I’ll try,” gasped Elaine, her skin prickling. “I’m prepared.”

“Good girl. Take off your dress. You can amuse yourself while I drive.”