College: The Police State

For those of you who don’t know, I’m currently attending college. And, as one of the many “responsibilities” of college, I had an obligation to attend a meeting to discuss housing for next year. Why? Well, they don’t have enough housing for all returning students so they’re basically trying to preempt our complaining. I’m fine with it I guess, not that I have a choice; I kind of have to accept it or go to a different college. Worst case scenario I live off campus, and I can handle that. I’ll probably get a spot on campus, but whatever, off topic.

Somewhere around me writing my name and student ID number down on a sheet of paper so that they can mark down I attended a meeting therefore making me eligible to maybe get on campus housing I started thinking about college on a much larger scale, i.e. on the scale of comparative politics (I know, I’m a nerd). So, in barely exaggerated terms, I pay a lot of money to go to college. A lot. Think of that as taxes being paid to the state. I stand in long lines to get the food provided by the school. I eat, and when I’m done with eating I form an orderly line to stack my tray on a conveyor belt where other workers do the dishes. I leave the dining hall and go to a Gen Ed class. I don’t want to take PHEC 106-609 (Swimming), but apparently it makes me a healthier, more well rounded person (completely ignoring the fact that I have two extremely difficult majors, another extremely hard minor, and I’m in the Honors program, therefore making it so that I have no time for Gen Eds and the stress of having so many classes per semester to make up for my wasted time on Gen Eds actually stresses me out and makes me a less healthy, albeit more rounded and more upset person).

So, Gen Eds done. Time to eat again. That done, homework time. Why? Well, I wouldn’t want to get a bad grade. The college has convinced me of that. And I can’t even go in the Honors house to study (the college’s executive committee (read – Politburo) revoked the right of 24/7 Honors house access, unless the proletariat can raise enough civil unrest for them to overturn the resolution). I then go to sleep in my college-provided housing, ID card in my pants pocket for the next day already because if I forgot it I’d be essentially lost myself. But not before I engage in some “communal living” with some of my friends in the building. And God forbid I walk outside at night to go to the science building to get some late night programming done; while they won’t confront me (except for a few times), the police roaming the campus will watch me pretty closely.

Yep, that’s right, you guessed it; I’m living in a Socialist state. Not like the good socialist, more like the USSR socialist. And trust me, I understand the appeal, it’s great “living” your life having the state do everything for you. College was supposed to be a time of freedom, but I’ve found it to be just as restricting as ever. Sure, I can stay up late, go eat when I want, maybe go to a party or be with my girlfriend whenever I want. But is that freedom? I can’t advance at college. I can’t really live my life the way I want it, only the way a faceless institution thinks that I should. They’re choosing what’s in my best interest, and I don’t like it. I can live with it for now, I know the benefit of what I’m doing, but I can’t wait until I can graduate from the USSR and become a citizen of America.

Dude, this sounds way too depressing. I get that this was written tongue-in-cheek but assure me no one is going to use this article to explain a Tucson-esq insane rampage against school administration.