IN my life I have learned every possible way to go around an obstacle without getting past it at all. I felt like Sisyphus, pushing that boulder up the tall mountain in hell, for it to only turn around and roll back down again.

I have felt like a vampire, a ghost, a ghoul, a monster, and a dead person at times.

I've questioned also why my conscience must be so sensitive that I feel like a monster simply because I get angry a lot and I argue a lot.

I've questioned my chronic disregard of what other people think in favor of what is good or convenient to me at the time.

I've spent years troubled about why my mother never loved me enough to leave me feeling secure and loved. She loves me, but it's never enough. I feel like a vampire.

I've questioned my own worth as a person when potential friend after potential friend has reacted negatively towards me because of something that I couldn't really accept because it seemed so hateful or bigoted or intolerant. Similarly I could never understand why my friends never treated me like a best friend when I loved them so much.

I've questioned my femininity when I could never manage to attract a good boyfriend who would be loyal to me. I could never understand why loyalty was not a given, in a relationship.

I've questioned my rights to expect fair treatment from my loved ones, when I don't share an equal amount of the work. I've accepted any treatment, without having the ability to leave any situation. I was grateful for what I got, and never was beaten.

I named my blog "My Haunted Mind" because I picture myself as a woman sitting in a chair and she has a haunted mansion for a head. The haunted mansion is my mind, all these years haunted by something I could never define yet was barely perceptible all around me and never suspected within me.

Imagine that there is a man who all his life wanted to write, but everytime he tries to write, it comes in bursts and then he falls into depressions and inactivity where years pass and he is not achieving any of his goals. For years, he is writing in his head, and towards his middle age, he starts to feel absolutely certain that inside of him lies a great writer who is stuck by something unknown!

Then the man finds out he has ADHD, and he gets really good comprehensive care and support...

I have always felt that I suffered from the "Queen syndrome" which means, feeling priviledged enough to speak your mind freely, regardless of whether you actually offend anyone, and subjecting people to a particular scrutiny when they are in my presence, which can seem either of two ways: I sometimes seem very warm and personable, and very much interested in the person. Or I can come across as a bit too intense, perhaps in a searching way. This is the curse of my ancestors, I am certain!...

[QUOTE]I think all students should get the opportunity to be active learners. Give them an opportunity to actually take control of the learning process and be driven by their interior monologues, their interior fantasies, and their interior daydreams. Allow the student to have some autonomy in that process and you can see them flourish.[/QUOTE]

That's some scholarly badasshery right there. Do it people! And let your children enjoy that kind of education even if it means living in...

[QUOTE]Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence– whether much that is glorious– whether all that is profound– does not spring from disease of thought– from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect.
-- Edgar Allen Poe[/QUOTE]