One of my first post-college roommates Bruse Loyd texted asking if I wanted to meet for lunch while he was in NYC this week. After some internal debate, I accepted hoping to finally get reimbursed for the October 1994 cable bill. No such luck, but at least I enjoyed the visit with Nick and Reese, who took me to Pershing Square Cafe located directly across 42nd St from Grand Central Station.

My first job out of college was in sales with Xerox Corporation. I’m pretty sure having that much fun on a job is not allowed anymore. The job introduced me to corporate comedy as I used to write sketches and emcee the sales conferences. Sales is an outstanding place to start a career as it forces you to learn the art of communication and negotiation quickly.

After each copier sale, we were required to spend two hours training the customer on how to use the equipment. Here’s a clip of my buddy Bruse :

Saturday our family went to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. One of my friends from the improv community Stacey, is in the show. We performed together in a troupe at Magnet Theater, and after our shows we’d grab a cheeseburger at the Triple Crown Ale House, an improv hangout. It was always a blast to be in a scene with Stacey — she’s a brilliant improviser, and if I remember correctly, she had the best high kicks in our troupe.

It’s hard to find the right adjective to describe the Christmas Spectacular.

The “Missouri Rockets” were founded in St. Louis in 1925, long before the very first Christmas. They opened at Radio City Music Hall in 1932, followed a few years later by Conan O’Brien.

We had such a blast watching our kids light up. We did too. Stacey took us backstage after the show to see all the props and costumes, and the camel’s dressing room, who is a bit of a diva and constantly demanding Evian.

Stacey couldn’t join us for lunch as she had to get ready for her second performance (on some days, she dances in four shows.) We headed out to Petite Abeille to tackle the Banana Split Brussels Waffle, as seen on the Travel Channel’s “Breakfast Paradise.” No celebrity sightings, but the last time my daughter and I dined there, we sat close enough to Aaron Eckhart to eavesdrop on his script writing session for his next feature.

What must have happened is when I entered Chicago airspace, my Lose It! iPhone calorie counter was scrambled. Oh, well. I gained a few pounds during my week in the windy city as I managed to visit three cheeseburger joints. My buddy Kurt told me about the Billy Goat Tavern, which inspired the classic SNL sketch “Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger.” Kurt warned me, “you don’t go there for the cheeseburgers.” He was right, but it was a blast to dine in the icon.

I always check in with Hamburger America author/filmmaker George Motz when I’m traveling for advice on joints I shouldn’t miss. (Thanks Sean Amore for the intro). He noted three, including M Burger, next to the hospital, which is frequented by doctors — mostly cardiologists. I’m not sure, but the guy hiding next to me behind a dyed beard may have well been Dr. Richard Kimble.

Finally, I visited Harry Caray’s Italian Steakhouse and grabbed a burger in the bar. Holy Cow.

But hands-down, the best meal I’ve had in recent memory was at Hugo’s Frog Bar & Fish House. No cheeseburger here, I went for the fish. Outstanding, and almost justifies a trip back to Chicago, for the goat cheese appetizer. Don’t miss this if you’re in town!

When you’re at Harvard, you have to make smart decisions, and mine was to never again order a cheeseburger with barbecue sauce. I arrived at that decision after eating at Mr. Bartley’s, a venue the Boston Herald describes as “Boston’s best burger, in cheerfully, post-hippie dorm surroundings.” I got into the barbecue sauce-on-cheeseburger habit back in my high school days, ordering the Rojo Burger at Chili’s. I thought it was a classy move, but not everyone agreed, including my prom date. (btw, “Rojo” is the Spanish word for “impossible to get out of Taffeta”).

This place has a fun student vibe, and I kept thinking I’d see Will Hunting sitting in the corner solving word problems.

I was on campus to speak about using comedy in social media to help put a face on the corporation. Below is a short clip of my PowerPoint disaster. And check our this review of Bartley’s from Billy Idol:

Behind a velvet curtain that reaches from the lobby floor up to the ceiling of the swankyLe Parker Meridien Hotel hides one of the best burger joints in Manhattan. And it’s completely unmarked, except for a neon sign of a burger. So I had to save this spot for a special night — when Ian and I went to the Team Coco Tour at Radio City Music Hall.

Complimenting this juicy burger was a glass of the finest Cabernet Sauvignon available in Manhattan in a box.

Here’s one of Ian’s recent productions. My favorite line in here (that Ian wrote on the spot) is “Violate: the color intermediate between red and blue.”

My doctor told me to cut back on dairy and red meat, which in layman’s terms means “write a blog about cheeseburgers.” I’m no food critic, and a pretty simple man in general, so most burgers will score a 10. This purpose of the series is not to offer useful information on where to find the best patty in NYC. It’s to provide a structure for sharing stories about the pursuit of comedy in Gotham, and a justification for the increased dining-out expense. My wife is a former Deloitte accountant, so I get audited every fiscal quarter.

I’ll date back to the New York Comedy Festival to mark the official birth of this series, giving me an excuse to re-post my photo with Ricky Gervais. Before the show, Ian Berger, producer for The Daily Showwith Jon Stewart, and I grabbed dinner at the Redeye Grill. The venue is not on my list, but Ian picked it for proximity as it’s directly across 7th Ave from Carnegie Hall. about a 60 second commute. Or approximately 90 secs in traffic. It was a little on the swanky side for my liking, but the burger was very good.

After a hilarious one-hour set which included an Elmo cameo, we went backstage to give Ricky a few notes on his Noah bit; chatted with the opener Todd Barry, also Janeane Garofalo, then headed off to the afterparty at the Empire Hotel rooftop bar, where they served some amazing Kobe beef mini-burgers that tasted even better than our dinner.

After much internal debate over the burger critique, I decided to give the Redeye Grill a 10.