When we first saw a photo of Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins in Dark Shadows, we were worried: It looked cheesier than a fondue pot. But in the trailer for the Tim Burton flick, it's obvious that that's the point: He's a weirdo surrounded by weirdos! He goes from 1752 to 1972 and finds that his estate is in ruins, and his heirs — played by Michelle Pfeiffer, Jonny Lee Miller and Chloe Moretz — are completely dysfunctional. Oh, and the witch who turned him into a blood sucker — Eva Green — is still in the picture. Fun!

One beef I have? Tim Burton always takes beautiful brunettes and forces them to be blonde. Eva Green is stunning, but not in that wig. The same thing happened to Winona Ryder in Edward Scissorhands, Christina Ricci in Sleepy Hollow, Anne Hathaway in Alice In Wonderland. Anywhoozle, this film should answer the burning question: What's more terrifying, a vampire or polyester?