Stalking the Divine
Contemplating Faith with the Poor Clares
By Kristin Ohlson
Theia
HC, 272 pg. US$23.95/C$34.95
ISBN: 1-4013-0025-1
Searching for faith
By Steven Martinovich
web posted August 18, 2003
Stalking the Divine: Contemplating Faith with the Poor Clares is
the latest in that dreary genre of books that sees self-absorbed
Baby Boomers suffer a mid-life crisis and feel the need to write
about it. After decades of turning their backs on the things that
their Eisenhower-era parents held dear, many have begun to turn
back to those old institutions in a frantic attempt to achieve some
inner fulfillment. For the generation that believes they discovered
sex, it's not surprising they also suffer the delusion that they're the
first to suffer a crisis of faith in their autumn years.
Kristin Ohlson manages to transcend the typical examples of the
genre with a touching story of her search for faith. A self-
described former "radical communist atheist" who spent part of
the 1960s agitating on behalf of a Maoist group, Ohlson began
life as a Catholic who one day dreamed of being a nun. She
gradually drifted away from the church, however, and it wasn't
until a lonely Christmas morning in 1998 that she felt the need to
attend mass again. In one of those events that will have
Christians smiling, Ohlson picks at random Cleveland's St. Paul
Shrine to attend.
It is there that a parallel story begins. St. Paul's Shrine happens
to be the home of a cloistered order of nuns called the Poor
Clares. Their mission is to literally pray for the world 24 hours a
day, seven days a week. As she comes to learn, the ranks of
these Poor Clares have steadily dwindled over the decades but
the nuns, who have little contact with the outside world, continue
their mission armed with a faith in God that Ohlson finds difficult
to comprehend. Yet despite her own lack of faith she is filled
with gratitude that these nuns watch over Cleveland and the
world and attempt to protect us with a web of prayers.
After some initial resistance the nuns agree to talk to Ohlson,
which initially leads to a newspaper story that draws attention to
the near forgotten group. Gradually they allow Ohlson a more
expansive view inside their sheltered world, one that she quickly
finds demands an incredible reservoir of faith to commit to. It
demands an adherence to a lifestyle that both rejects the outside
world and its temptations in favor of a relationship only with
Jesus Christ and yet their mission is to care for the world through
prayer. It's a supremely rigorous life that few people, including
Ohlson, can fully understand but she admires them nonetheless.
"So why do I now find this devotion admirable rather than
stupid? I guess I'm tired of a world with so little faith. I'm tired of
marriages that fall apart because people won't persevere through
the dry, dull, miserable periods; I'm tired of people who have
given up on making the world better; I'm tired of people who
cynically deconstruct everything for their own amusement -- and
I've been all these people. These nuns fell in love with God,
married him after a long, careful courtship, and have stuck with
him year after year."
Ohlson's education about the nuns takes place as she begins to
nurture her own faith. She ultimately admits that she doesn't
understand the Poor Clares because she doesn't, and likely even
can't, share the same level of faith in a higher power that they do.
At times she seems more interested in arguing against some of
the positions of the Catholic Church, such as its stand against
abortion. A committed Catholic might say that she isn't humble
enough, that she seems more interested in debating theology and
history than she is in submitting herself to God. Yet, as Ohlson's
journey attests, she seems committed to making the journey to
becoming a believer.
"For me, it takes a combination of things to reach the belief side
of the chasm, where I cling from time to time with gnawed and
ragged fingernails. One is certainly pattern: the pattern of visiting
the nuns, the pattern of weekly mass, and the pattern of prayer
when I manage to stick with one. Retreat, which I learned from
the nuns: pulling away from the world to enter a cool interior
cave that feels very much like the nuns' own shadowed, silent
hallways. And then, finally, the tiniest of convictions that God is
like a fire burning in the darkness, whether I'm aware of it or not.
Faith keeps me turning to that fire over and over ... for
refreshment, for solace, for strength, for the thrilling surprise of its
presence. During these moments of belief, there is simply
more of life -- it's as if the laws of physics have changed and
my capacity for presence has expanded."
Stalking the Divine is a compelling exploration of one person's
spiritual journey juxtaposed with the almost inhuman devotion
displayed by the Poor Clares. Stalking God, the effort to find
and place faith in the context of a person's life, is no simple
matter regardless of who is questing. The journey, like any
journey of personal discovery, is far from a straight road and
there's never a promise of an answer at the end. Ohlson rises
above the ghetto of the well-populated mid-life crisis genre with
a beautiful and deeply personal story of a search for answers.
Steven Martinovich is a freelance writer in Sudbury, Ontario.
Enter Stage Right -- http://www.enterstageright.com