Pluralities

Dear Geist,
Why is loaves the plural of loaf, but oafs the plural of oaf?
—Cross-Eyed, Bathurst NB
Dear Cross-Eyed,
Thanks for these great examples of how language behaves, and why we shouldn’t try too hard to make it tidy and consistent. The original plurals of many English words, borrowed from other languages, have tagged along and hung on (milieu/milieux, graffito/graffiti, tooth/teeth). Some plurals have formed organically to stave off trouble (crises, rather than crisises). A few have even parted ways at the Canada―US border (appendices/appendixes). And who among us has never heard a self-described stickler “correcting” octopuses to octopi, although octopus is a Greek word whose Greek plural is octopodes and its English plural octopuses? This way madness lies!
—The Editors