Tom’s musical play The Darwin Theory was produced by the Los Angeles City and State Colleges in June 1949, a joint venture of the Drama and Music departments of the colleges, which then shared the same campus. The work features the so-called Monkey Trial in Dayton, Tennessee, in 1925. Story and characters, while borrowing from the lives, times, and events leading up to the trial, are fictionalized. The names of William Jennings Bryan and Clarence Darrow are used, and fragments of their courtroom discourse are worked into the fabric of the play.

Tom has written, “While I ‘wrote’ the music, at least conceived the melodic lines for the score, I didn’t literally write music. I didn’t know one note from the other. When Ken Carmichael, the head of the Drama Department, decided to stage the show, written as a project for the playwriting class he taught, he conferred with the head of the Music Department who provided students to copy my music. I would sing the songs and the students would transcribe and harmonize them. One of these was Jarred Goldsmith, who later, as Jerry Goldsmith, became a film composer, Chinatown being a notable credit. He played one of two pianos during production, and was as well the show’s musical conductor.”

Concerning one of the songs, “Let’s Believe in Adam and Eve,” Tom wrote, “Edwin Lester, musical director of the Los Angeles Civic Light Opera, and his executive assistant Eleanor Pinkham, particularly liked the music for this song and advised me to continue ‘writing’my own music, perhaps not the wisest advice when Jerry Goldsmith among others was willing to be my collaborator. Since I was limited in demonstrating my own music, others, particularly a woman at Music Corporation of America, urged that I take a job offered me with an established but unidentified songwriting team at one of the studios, an offer she had brokered for me as a friend and believer in my talent. I would be an apprentice or ghost lyricist, Frank Loesser cited as an example of a former ghost lyricist who made good on his own, having made contacts and friends as a ghost writer. Wisely or unwisely, I declined the offer.”

Coming across Irwin Stone’s Clarence Darrow for the Defense at the Los Angeles Public Library prompted Tom to write the play as a class project. “I’m told that my play and its production was in turn the impetus that motivated Jerome Lawrence and Robert E. Lee to write their play Inherit the Wind about the Scopes Trial. Presumably one or both saw a performance of The Darwin Theory. Perhaps at the time they were already involved with their project . . .

“While I never met Mr. Lawrence or Mr. Lee, I did meet as a result of The Darwin Theory Peter Matz, then a student at UCLA who saw a performance and asked to use one of the songs, “Them Men,” in a musical revue he was staging at UCLA. He and I became friends and infrequent collaborators. He became an important arranger of Broadway musicals and worked closely with Barbra Streisand on her early albums. “I also made the acquaintance of Wyatt Cooper through the production. Wyatt, also a student at UCLA and an aspiring writer, caught the show. We became friends but never collaborated on the book of the musical we talked of doing. We both moved to New York. After Wyatt married Gloria Vanderbilt, I saw him infrequently. His son, television reporter Anderson Cooper, looks very much like him except for the latter’s prematurely but attractively gray hair.” Although the production of The Darwin Theory was very well received, not everyone agreed. “A friend of my landlady’s in Los Angeles saw a performance of the show and told me afterward, ‘I’m sure you’ll go someplace . . .’ As I smiled my thanks, thinking it a compliment, as perhaps it was, she added in an evangelical tone, ‘I only hope it’s the right place.’ I didn’t know there was such a thing as specific Fundamentalism (caps or no caps) at the time, nor that it was not specific to Christianity. I thought the term generic and nonspecific and only applicable to backwoods Holy Rollers of the past. Little did I know.” A selection of lyrics from the show follows. THE AGE OF ROCKS OR THE ROCK OF AGES

Sisters, sisters and brothers, Listen what I’ve got to tell you –Listen what I’ve got to say.The Lord above wants to know today . . .The age of rocks or the Rock of Ages,What is it going to be?Mothers, are we going to let the schoolsMake all our children foolsBy teaching them their grandma-masWere ani-mules?You!It’s up to you!The age of rocks or the Rock of Ages, Bible or biology?Fathers, are we going to cure what ails,Burn schoolbooks by the bailsThat tell us that our grandpa-pasHad wagging tails?You!It’s up to you!Why send our childrenTo school on SundayTo learn their Bible in verse,If these sweet childrenAt school on MondayMust learn the exact reverse?

The age of rocks or the Rock of Ages,Are we to be up a tree?Parents, we must send an invitationTo folks throughout the nationTo help us help the Sunday school save educationWith this plea –It’s not the age or rocks,Brothers, no siree.They’re not a-gonna make a monkey out of me!They’re not a-gonna make a monkey out of me!

WE GOT TO PASS A BILL (This song wasn't in the student production)Now I don’t mind biologyGee, I can see geology,But when schools call the Bible story“An aesthetic,Pure, poetic allegory,”We got to pass a billTo keep schoolteachers still.

I’m progressive ev’ry way.I think that schools are here to stay.But when they say man was createdWhen two hairy, salivaryForms was mated,We got to pass a billTo keep schoolteachers still.

Profs and teachers, they must git.They ought to be kicked where they sit.We ought to dip ‘em and baptize ‘em,Hold ‘em underAnd then wonderShould we rise ‘em?We got to pass a billTo keep schoolteachers still.

Eve was tempted by a serpent,A low down snake in the grass.And so God said to the serpent,“For what you’ve done to this lass,You must crawl down on your bellyTill the end of time."Now the schools want to knowHow did it goBefore that time?

I read Genesis and, hey,No monkey business there, no way.A Christian shudders each time he seesKids a-gorgin’On this “Or’ginOf the Species.”

We got to pass a billTo keep schoolteachers still.I don’t mind zoology.Or even anthropology.But these here schoolbooks, they’re all, you know,Full of libel.Ain’t the BibleAll we need? So,

We got to pass a billTo keep schoolteachers still.

I got a bill that says it’s so -All them monkeys got to go.A bill, when signed,DesignedTo sendA good swift kickin’ to Darwin’s end.

(Eleanor)Life would be so simpleIf people all were goodAnd would believeWhat they’ve been toldThey should,

Let’s believe in Adam and Eve and love.Let’s not believe as other people might,That love is but a fancyEvolving with the moonlight.I’ve grown so wearyHearing Darwin’s theory.It’s not for me,No, not for me.My heart belongsWith the magic ofThe haunting Song of Songs.Female and male,The Genesis tale for me.Woman loved man,The world then began to be.

I want to believeThat our hearts are beatin’‘Cause an apple once was eaten And two people fell in love,So let’s believe in Adam and EveAnd love, and love, and love.(George)I’ll believe in Adam and EveAnd love. (Eleanor speaks)You’re making fun of me. (George)Would I do that?I’ll not believe as other people may,That we got here in some other way.I’ll believe in Adam and Eve and love.I’ll not believe the Bible tells a fib,That Eve was just an afterthoughtFashioned from Adam’s rib.(Eleanor)Now you aremaking fun of me . . . Oh, George, I’m leeryOf your Darwin theory.Don’t want to know,Wish it would go.My heart belongsWith the magic ofThe haunting Song of Songs. (Together)Female and male -The Genesis tale for me.Woman loved man,The world then began to be.I want to believeThat our hearts are beatin’‘Cause an apple once was eatenAnd two people fell in love.So, let’s believe in Adam and EveAnd love,And love,And love.

EVILUTION

We’re waiting at the station hereFor William Jennings Bryan to appear.For William Jennings Bryan is a fi-an man,No lyin’ man,A man who’ll send chimpanzeesBack to pasture in the pansiesComes the fallOf ev’ry hallAnd institutionOf evilution

The prosecution has no fearFor William Jennings Bryan will appear.For William Jennings BryanIs a fi-an man,A fi-an man!A man who is inspired,To the Lord’s ear always wired.He’s a gentWho’s heaven-sentWith God’s solutionTo evilution!

When he appears on the platform,Gentlemen, throw up a hat for’m.Ladies, on with your singingTill all our eardrums are ringing.We’re waiting at the station hereFor William Jennings Bryan to appear.For William Jennings BryanIs a fi-an man –Don’t try the man –A man who is a lighthouse.How we need him in The White HouseTo repairWith daily prayerThe constitutionAnd evilution!

We’re waiting at the station hereFor William Jennings Bryan to appear.For William Jennings BryanIs a fi-an man,None better than,A credit to our nation,He’ll demand emancipationFrom the corpsThat’s calling forConsolidationWith evilution.

We’re waiting here to give a cheerWhen William Jennings Bryan will appearFor William Jennings BryanIs a fi-an man,Know why? The manIs full of high ideals.Bows his head at night; he feelsHe’s been brungTo bring the young Their restitutionFrom evilution.

When he’s Commander in Chief, yes,Praise the Lord, teachers will teach less.He’ll be our President one day.Each day then holy as Sunday!

Do you desireHellfire?Do you preferThe fork to the lyre?’ll tell you all on the levelYou will go to the devilAnd you’ll burn.The fear of the Lord.Unless you learnThe little guysMust be baptizedFor Satan takes bothThe big and the light-sized.You better walk in the centerOr there won’t be no winterWhere you go.Unless you knowThe fear of the Lord.

You better prepare for His coming.You better repent and pray.Be always aware He is coming.He will nudge youAnd He’ll judge youComes that final Judgment Day.

Come on, get near it!The spirit!Come feel it! And . . .Come smell it, and come hear it.Come hear it cry, “Hallelujah!”Praise the Lord, that’ll do ya.All you need is just to heedThe fear of the Lord.Reprise and tag:

You better hear it,The spirit.You’ll never climb upThose stairs until you fear it.You better kneel and be humble.When those skies start to rumble,Brother, showHim you knowThe fear of the Lord.The fear of the fire,And the murk and the mire,And the forkAnd the devilAnd the good ole fashioned level fear, The fear of the Lord.

IN LOVE WITH A MONKEY

This was cut in the revised version although it was a crowd pleaser and, according to Jerry Goldsmith, perhaps the most “perfect” song in the show in that it adhered to standards and format of what a song should be. The song was sung by Connie about her boyfriend who was wearing a monkey suit to mock the proceedings, with a reprise (see below) by Sir Tucker about his dog. In revising the book and adding “You’re Old Man’s a Monkey,” “Monkey Business Blues,” and “The Monkey Trial,” there were just too many monkey songs for this one to remain, catchy as it is. Besides, it was relevant only thematically.

He hasn’t got a monkey’s eyes,Or a monkey’s nose,Or a monkey’s tailBut I’d love him stillIf he were a monkeyIf he were a monkeyI would beA kind of three dollar bill.

Oh, my goodness, goodness me,But isn’t life hunky?You should beHappy like me,In love with a monkey.Oh, I know it must seem strange,I don’t deny it’s queer,But monkeys always send meAnd this one is a dearie –Bleary eyes and shaggy hairBut I’ll be his flunky’Long as he don’t monkey‘Round with someone new.You may think I’m crazyAnd your folks may all agree,But if you knew this monkeyLike I do-oo-oo,You would be in love with a monkey too.

REPRISE: IN LOVE WITH A POODLE)See how his little tummy sags?See that tail that wagsAlways to and fro,To affection show.Toy Dog is my doggie.Love me, love my doggie.Man’s best friend,This is the best friend I know.Oh, my goodness, goodness me,’m light in the noodle.You should beHappy like me,In love with a poodle.Oh, I know it must seem strange,I want to make that clear,But I like little doggiesAnd this one is a dearie - Bleary eyes and shaggy hairAnd full of dog foodle,But I’ll never toodle‘Round with someone new.You may think I’m crazyAnd you folks may all agree,But if you knew this doggieLike I do-oo-oo,You would be in love with a poodle too.

A WISE MAN SAID

MEMPHIS MOODY and HIS TRIO increase the volume of the blues riff they’ve been playing in the background. GEORGE strolls over to CLEMENS on the bench.GEORGEYou know, Mr. Lee, I’ve reached a conclusion. The world is flat, after all.

CLEMENSAny dang fool can see that.

GEORGEYeah, just look at it.

(Joining MEMPHIS MOODY, SINGS)

On the naked eyeThey say we can’t rely.What we think we seeMay not really be.Perception, yours and mine,Can be out of line.Winter turns to spring,The blues change ev’rything.

MOODY (SPEAKS)Blues? You got the blues, boy? Tell me.

GEORGE (SINGS)A wise man saidThe world is roundBut I’ve foundIt’s not like that.My love has left me and the world is flat.

A wise man saidThe grass is greenBut I’ve seenIt isn’t true.My love has left me and the grass is blue.SagesFor agesHave written lots of pagesAbout love.They doubt love.But I knowLife is mighty slow Without love.

A wise man saidThe sun shines bright.That’s not right,The sun don’t shine.There’s only darkness in this world of mine.In this habitat here,Sun don’t shine, it’s flat hereAnd the grass is blueAnd it doesn’t take a wise manTo tell me I am too.