I was recently reminded of this quote when a friend posted it on social media. I first heard this saying many years ago. I love words and am a firm believer in surrounding myself with positive statements and visual images. As a middle school principal, when I heard this quote, I thought it would be a superb choice to use ending the morning announcements each day. Day after day after reading announcements about club meetings and daily events, I paused and said, “Make it a great day or not…the choice is yours.”

Silly me…I believed that all of my middle school students would make the right choice and choose to have a great day. Yet day after day,

Let’s face it. We all go through tough times in our lives. For those of you who say, “I’ve had a great life and nothing really bad has happened to me.” I would say, “Hold on! Your time is coming.”

The one Latin phrase that I really remember from my two years of Latin in high school is: “Vita est Dura.” Life is hard. I have found it true that scattered among the joyous times of life are the tough times.

I have neglected my blog for quite some time, because frankly the tough times have overwhelmed me. It is only by looking back at how God has carried me through other tough times, that I am certain He will carry me now. Both in our personal and “leader” lives we will be faced with tough times. How on earth can we push through?

There have been so many incidents recently in our country that are heartbreaking and disturbing. It is so easy to go on with our lives and not get involved with what we perceive is not directly in our path. True leaders, however, cannot ignore the events transpiring around them. True leaders speak on behalf of what is right; they are never silent in times of crisis and work with those they lead to focus on a common purpose to address the crisis.

I was born as a white American female. I have never been a black American and I don’t know what it feels like to be treated as one. I have been blessed to have many African-American friends and co-workers from whom I have learned much. On a personal level,

I am not sure what it is about summer that makes us take a step back and be a little more lackadaisical. Someone coined the phrase the “Lazy Days of Summer” but I prefer to look at summer as a respite for the soul. If you have or have had any connection to education – even being the parent of a school-aged child, you know the excitement that comes with the last day of school and summer vacation. There seems to be permission to do less. It becomes ok to lie in the grass and look at the shape of the clouds, catch lightening bugs at twilight, and if you live in my household, run out at night to watch the space station fly over. I will say that summer is the time that I tend to disengage from the world letting my mind wander allowing my creative thinking to sprout with ideas. When we push ourselves and are constantly on go, we squeeze out the time for our creative brain to do its work.

Tervis Tumblers…not a promotion or any kickback for my thoughts, but they impressed me this week with their integrity. Integrity is a key ingredient for sound leadership. Integrity is defined as the adherence to moral and ethical principals; soundness of moral character; honesty. Good leaders cast a vision (they say what they do or are going to do) and they do what they say (with integrity). It’s funny how the day-to-day experiences of life can instruct us if we pause long enough to realize it.

We own a plethora of Tervis Tumblers and use them on a daily basis. While they are not fine crystal, I like that coasters are not needed to protect my furniture and my drinks stay cold longer. We have a small group that gathers at our house on Monday nights and since there are a variety of designs on our glasses, everyone gets their own glass with a different design and it makes it easy to determine which glass is yours. Tervis advertises a lifetime guarantee on their product. While I knew this, I had never put it to the test. As a glass became defective, I set it aside and thought I should send it back. After ten years, I had seven glasses in a pile to return someday. Since I am finally retired, I decided that someday was now, so I went to the Tervis website and easily found the information needed to return the glasses.

Whether you are the leader of an organization, the leader of a classroom, a leader in your church or the leader of your children, you will always have the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone and take a risk. Will you take the risk or play it safe? Recently, I decided to head to the beach with some girl friends of mine. One of them researching the area wanted to know if I had ever been to the Flora-Bama (a bar on the Florida/Alabama line). My comment was, “I have driven by it many times.” She then informed me that we would be in town on the weekend of their annual “mullet toss”. Now I must admit that I had heard and wondered about the mullet toss, but had never been in town during this particular event. While I am not a bar person, the thought of watching people fling a fish across state lines did interest me somewhat.

People who influenced my leadership style over the years did so because something they said impacted my thought process significantly and I saw first hand how they lived what they spoke. One such leader was Dr. Mary Bracegirdle. I was a young assistant principal and she was a Director of Middle School Education. Dr. Bracegirdle was passionate about middle school students and the learning that took place for this age group. Often she would say about the students, “They don’t care what you know until they know that you care.”

No matter your field or area of leadership, that statement will prove itself to be true. You may be an incredibly knowledgeable leader, but if you don’t have relationships with those you lead, they really don’t care what you know or care to implement what you ask. How then as a parent, a teacher, a leader can you create the environment that demonstrates that what you have to share is worth receiving? First…

When I was a little girl, we often played a game called “Follow the Leader”. One of us was chosen to be the leader, becoming the first in the line, and everyone in line behind us had to mimic or do what the leader did. If the leader skipped, we skipped. If the leader raised their hands, the rest of us in the line raised our hands. As a child, everyone wanted to be chosen to be the leader. Pick, me…Pick me! We thought this game was fun! Even in this childhood game, the person being the leader influences the actions of those following them.

As adults, we often shy away from leadership and few of us believe being a leader is fun. We may doubt our ability to lead or prefer to be a follower. We may question our capabilities, temperament and creativity. Whether we believe ourselves to have leadership qualities or not, we are all leaders. Wherever you live and whatever you do, people are following you. They are observing your behavior and following your lead. Are you a parent? Your children are following you. Are you employed? Those you work with are following you. Do you ever leave your house? Those you encounter are following you. Do you post on social media? Someone is following you. Whether you want to be a leader or not, you are.

Let’s face it; we all have a fear of something. I know people that are afraid of spiders, heights, speaking in front of an audience or flying in an airplane. While those things don’t impact me, snakes and needles are high on my list of things to avoid! While some fear is healthy as our body warns us of danger, fear can also be debilitating. When fear sets in, it causes us to stop in our tracks and lose focus of everything else around us.

I had the opportunity to serve on a women’s retreat weekend recently and the visual for the weekend showed a woman pushing through the gates of fear toward the hope of a brighter future. I began to think about the fears that we face in our daily lives. We may have the fear of financial despair, the fear of safety for those we love, the fear that the dreams we held are not coming to fruition. One thing I know about fear, it will steal your joy. How can you keep the fear of the future from robbing you of the joy of today?

It seems to be so easy to tell others what they are doing wrong, what you wish they would do better and what you need them to do for you…that we overlook the important component of taking the time to let others know what we love and appreciate about them.

Think for a minute about the others that work with you. When was the last time that you shared with one of them a note of gratitude or a word of thanks? As a school principal, there were over a hundred staff members in my building. I often would tell myself that I should stop and write a note to a particular staff member, but my thoughts and intentions were often better than my actions. How could I, as a leader let those I work with know sincerely what it was that I specifically appreciated about them? How could I encourage other staff members to also take a minute to do the same?

We admire things; we admire people; sometimes we admire our leaders. Take a minute to think about the people and leaders that you admire. What qualities do they possess? It is possible as well to admire people that you have never met, based on the qualities you hear about or see represented.

Frequently, I walk a three-mile loop through my neighborhood. One of the houses that I pass on my walk is different from the rest. Although I don’t know the people who live in this particular house, I greatly admire the woman of the household. The inhabitants of the houses I pass remain mostly unseen. I observe the lawns, the gardens and the pets that are racing to the edge of the yard to bark at me. In this particular house, however, the mom is always out in the front yard playing with her children. Today when I passed by she was playing soccer with her daughter and then switching off to shoot free throws in the driveway with the boys. She was not watching them play, or checking Facebook on her phone while they played, she was playing with them. I admire this woman whom I do not know. Good leaders take the journey side by side those they lead. They don’t direct from afar; good leaders are in the game participating in the work that has to be done.

t’s the truth – I don’t like to run. I have never loved running and doubt that I ever will. I remember being in college and jogging erupted as the new way to get in shape. Deciding that I would give jogging a try, I laced up my tennis shoes, walked to the top of my driveway and began running. After a minute or so, I began to question and wonder what was so appealing about jogging? I quickly decided that this was not my idea of fun or fitness. Where was I running? At least in a softball game you ran base to base with purpose. There was no destination or end in sight and without purpose, I quickly dismissed running as a means to fitness.

It’s the end of December and it’s time to close the book on the past year. Some of us will have experienced great joy through events such as a wedding, the birth of a child or the start of a new career. Others will have experienced great sorrow and perhaps loss, such as the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, sorrow from having to leave home and relocate or being faced with an illness that interrupts our life. Finally, we may be ambivalent; nothing really great or terrible seemed to happen to us in the past year.

Whichever category you find yourself in, it is time to close the book and look ahead. The truth is that we cannot change the past; we can only learn from it and seek the treasures that the past leaves.

t’s Christmastime and one of my favorite times of the year. It is a time when we re-connect with friends and take the time to visit and share good times with one another. Since Christmas comes at the end of the calendar year, it is also a great time to look back at the year and remember the best. Although for many there will have been sadness and troubles during the year, I believe that while we remember it all, we should try and focus on the good.

As I was preparing our family Christmas cards, I went to my photo files on my computer and began with January searching for good photographs to include on our yearly card. This was a great reminder of the blessings and the best of this year! I looked for the best events, best photos of family members and best unique experiences of this year – those were the things that I wanted to draw from and share with others when they saw our Christmas card. During this busy season of the year, I think it is critical to take time to stop and remember the best…

How often have we heard that kids will listen to what you say, but will do what they see you do? People that we lead may hear what we say and ask, but will model their actions based on what they see from us. Leaders are often told to lead by example, but what does that really mean? As a parent, teacher and leader, I have always tried to lead by example, but must admit that at times I have been guilty of not taking the time to set up the path to success.

As a parent, I told my children numerous times, “Go clean your room…”

As a teacher, I told my students numerous times, “Study for your test…”

As a principal, I told my teachers numerous times, “Do what is best for your students…”

While all of these are good statements, taking the statement and providing concrete ways to success makes the difference in being an effective leader as opposed to an instruction giver. I happened to see a real life example of leadership in action last week while visiting Disneyworld.

One word…one sentence…makes more of an impact than you know. Just as a stone ripples the water when thrown into the lake, our words impact all who hear them. Words fling open the door for others to be encouraged and feel confident or words close the door and bring thoughts of inadequacy and failure. What are the words you hear? What are the words you speak? Let’s open the door and think about the power of our words.

November seems to be the time of the year that we stop and consider all that we are thankful for. Gratitude becomes the word of the month and I believe that it is powerful to look around and ponder the things for which we are grateful! Appreciation and gratitude was going to be the focus of this piece, but life happens and the experiences of the day are dictating a slight re-routing of my thoughts.

This time of the year is steeped in traditions for my family and me. As I began planning for my fall traditions, I began to ponder their importance. Traditions play a huge role in our families and should also be a part of any organization’s culture. By definition, a tradition is the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc. from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice. More than that, traditions become our roots and our anchors helping define and reminding us who we are.

The fall is probably my favorite season of the year. After a hot, humid summer, I welcome the cooler temperatures and seem to be always astounded by the beauty of the changing colors of the leaves on the trees. Fall is also the time in my family where traditions are anticipated and embraced. In late September, there is usually a trip to the North Georgia Mountains to visit Mercier Orchards to purchase apples, apple butter and various syrups and jellies. This trip is often accompanied with a hike on a trail that leads to a beautiful waterfall. When my children were teenagers, we would usually take off after church on Sunday and head north. Most years they went happily, other years they wondered why their mother couldn’t just buy apples at the grocery store like other mothers did.

Creativity and innovation - they get our attention. Students in classrooms want to be engaged and see creative and amazing lessons. Adults in meetings yearn for presentations that are more than a PowerPoint presentation being read aloud. Consumers are looking for something different that will catch their eye. Young women are hoping for a creative invitation to prom or for a proposal that is unexpected and breathtaking. Yet, if most of us were asked, we would say that we’re just not that creative.

While some may be more creative than others, I believe that everyone can become more creative.

Being creative may push you out of your comfort zone and your idea may flop. Erase the fear of failing. When a creative idea works, it is like igniting a spark and watching it turn into a blazing fire.

Many years ago I served in a school as a learning support strategist. One of my responsibilities was to share instructional strategies and encourage teachers in their profession. I was preparing my weekly newsletter and decided to focus on creativity. I started by encouraging teachers to choose a common object and think of all the ways it could be used instructionally in the classroom. Since it was October, I chose a pumpkin and came up with twenty ways teachers could use a pumpkin for instruction. In case you have an inquiring mind, here were the ideas:

As a school principal, I worked hard to have an open door policy with my staff. In addition to keeping my office door open, I set aside time every Monday to make myself available to whoever wanted to drop by and speak with me. Did they have a procedural question? Were clarifications needed about an upcoming event? Perhaps they just wanted to share something exciting or troublesome that was going on in their life.

With all of my intent to be open and available to my staff, it never failed. A huge deadline would be looming and there was much that needed to be done. It was at that exact moment someone would come to my office door and say those dreaded words, “Do you have a minute?”

I love the beach. I look forward with great anticipation any opportunity that I have to come to the beach. I am not sure why I find the beach so relaxing and peaceful, but for me it seems to be the only place where I can finally get to a point that I can relax and rest. We have all heard the saying, “There is no rest for the weary.” – and at the other end of the spectrum, “Come to me all who are weary, I will give you rest.” Why is rest so elusive?

I am sure that I have made plenty of foolish statements in my life. Those who have worked beside me along the way can probably comment and share some of the silly things I may have said. My husband often reminds me of probably the most foolish statement that I have ever made, “Sleep is highly overrated.” The funny thing is that not only did I say it; I actually believed it to be true!