A man must fill his life with meaning, meaning is not automatically given to life. It is hard work to fill one's life with meaning. That I do not think you understand yet. A life filled with meaning is worthy of rest. I want to be worthy of rest when I am no longer here. Do you understand what I am saying?
-The Chosen

10/21/2002

Wow, what a weekend!

First, I had the chance to see Michelle take a big step in her walk with God, and that was really cool. It’s such an exciting thing to see a person you care about growing in their faith. Next, I got to carve pumpkins (even though they were pretty gross) and eat delicious apple pie. After that, I played chess. All one evening! Very cool. On Saturday, I watched a movie and talked for 2.5 hours with Samantha and Joyce, which was great (you guys are so cool!). On Sunday, my family came to church with me, and I got to go for a CRAZY run with Diana and Samantha (I don’t know why you guys don’t like climbing trees, it’s so much fun…). Finally, I went to B and N and got a novel (unusual, I know), the Count of Monte Cristo, and a CD, which is REALLY old school classical music. Very nice.

So yeah, it’s been wild lately. Amidst all this, though, I’ve had some great conversations, and I’ve come across an interesting concept. It seems to me that when God cursed mankind for sinning, he gave them penalties that we still bear today. With Eve, he talked of pain in childbirth, but I think it meant much more than that. I think God made pain the primary bane of females in general. Pain is inherent physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually in the lives of women. There is so much struggle there to overcome hurt, and it’s something I don’t fully understand.

Men, on the other hand, were cursed with responsibility. We are expected to take charge in relationships, but it’s our fault if things get messed up. We are supposed to take initiative, yet we’re the ones who feel worst when we get turned down. We are expected, nearly every one of us, to provide for a ourselves AND our families. We are, as Christian men, held responsible for the spiritual lives of our children.

It’s interesting, though sad, to see how this plays out in our world. It seems as though everyone is trying to avoid that curse. Women read perfect love stories and listen to perfect love songs and imagine perfect Prince Charming boyfriends, hoping to avoid the pain that is pretty much inherent in any serious relationship. Men dump girlfriends at the first sign of commitment and live large as long as they can, trying to avoid responsibility. Abortion is the ultimate culmination of these fears; men who don’t want responsibility for a wife or kids and women don’t want the pain of childbirth or of childrearing. It’s really pretty sad.

So, then, what do we do? For Christian men, it seems simple enough. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. We need to stand up and show that we’re not afraid, that we do care enough to do something that scares us. We need to make it obvious that with God’s help, we can do anything. Now, this will take a little help on the part of women. With encouragement, we can be initiators, even though we’re deathly afraid of it.

At the same time, women need to be willing to accept and face the pain that is a part of their lives. Ick, I’m not as sure on this one (any opinions? I’m very open to criticism, I’m on thin ice here!). However, it seems as though they need to have the strength to deal with pain even though they hate it, which can include being patient with guys who try to be leaders but blunder into walls, or learning to deal with the fact that they’ll be moms and that it will be hard. At the same time, men should be supporters and encouragers, helping women with the pain as much as they possibly can.

What a great creation marriage is! Imagine two godly people, and the way God designed things for them. As a unit, they are both a strong leader and a loving servent. They are both a hero and a lover (don’t get all weirded out on me… they’re married, remember?). They are both strong and gentle. They are logically in order and emotionally in touch. They face challenges with vigor and confront weaknesses with love. They bring each other closer to God than they could have gotten without the other. They are a team in every sense of the word.

In our friendships, we can have a weaker version of this. I mean, a group of friends can do so much. If they aren’t, then the question isn’t why should they… it’s why aren’t they.

Anyways, I know that’s a bit random. However, I have classes tomorrow, and you probably do too. So I’ll write again, hopefully, and maybe we’ll learn something new together. Oh… and does anyone have some creation vs. evolution info? It’s driving me nuts!