Pages

Monday, October 24, 2011

A Little Less PG- My Life and BDSM Part 1 My Introduction to the Lifestyle

BDSM is a huge part of my life, and up to now I have been keeping it pretty separate from this blog. I have decided to add some more personal elements here to mix in with the usual flow of fashion posts. I recently saw a post on Bats and Bunnies, all about asexuality, and I was so impressed with her openess, that I was ashamed I hadn't shared as much myself. To me, my interests in music, fashion, the goth and punk scene and BDSM and the LGBT community are all very much intertwined and it seems silly to edit my own blog for no reason.
I have had an interest in BDSM since I was 14. yes, that is very young, and no I don't regret it. I never had much of a religious background, and I had been through sex ed classes and knew to use a condom and all about safer sex and STD risks. Everything I ever did was consensual and I enjoyed being able to learn so much about myself at such a young age when most girls are still struggling with puberty. I was dating a senior and I was a freshman. We were both virgins, but had a good time experimenting and eventually having sex.
As we progressed we became more open about what we liked, having open discussions about our personal fantasies and what we wanted to try. Pain and power play were things we both enjoyed, and to me, perfectly normal. Having neer been with a vanilla partner I never considered the idea of sex without pain or kink. This was not abuse or anything of the kind, I was just lucky enough to have my first experiences be with someone who happened to liek the things that I did. After we broke up, I continued to persue my interests, without even knowing what they were called. I was never shy, and I shocked more then a few boys and men by asking to be spanked or hurt or called names in bed. But to me, being that free and open was more loving then rose petals or candlelight. (Although candle wax, I found out later, can be fun if used safely).
I didn't find out what BDSM was called, or about the variety of activities and lifestyle choices it encompasses until a few years later, and after that, I became even more active. I made a point of telling my partners about my wants and needs (I might make a whole other post about this later) and learnt about safety measures i could take. I also enjoyed talking to other subs and doms online (again, a more in depth post soon!) and even over the phone a few times. Now, BDSM is a big part of my life. I consider myself a submissive, and enjoy going to BDSM clubs, events, play parties and munches. I am up front with people about my life and my relationships, and that it makes me happy. So now I am sharing that with all of you lovely readers, and hope to continue to share that part of my life as much as any other.
Are any of you into alternative relationships?