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Kim K. Puts T. Swift on Blast, Most People Don’t Care Except Twitter

In case you haven’t heard (which you probably haven’t because you have actual things in life to do), Kim K. put T. Swift on blast on SnapChat, and Twitter is having a field day with it.

First of all, let me come clean and admit the most knowledge I have about the Kanye/Kardashian/Swift feud stems back to when Kanye snatched Taylor’s award away from her at a music awards ceremony a hundred million years ago and said Queen Bey deserved it instead (that’s Beyonce for all of you who, like me, have your heads buried miles deep in child-rearing and haven’t seen this side of cool since the late ’90s/early ’00s at best). Hey, at least I know there even is a feud. I’m calling that a win.

Apparently, Kanye calls Taylor a “bitch” in one of his lyrics, and Taylor denies ever having consented to that. (Side note: Does she have to consent? I mean, on a list of my favorite people, Kanye comes in somewhere between Caillou and Satan, but he has a right to put whatever he wants in his own lyrics, no?)

Problem is, Kim K. has audio of T. Swift consenting to said lyrics (or so the interwebs would have us all believe; I haven’t listened to one bit of it because WHUT). I’m not sure that’s legal, to record someone without their knowledge and then make it publicly available to God and everybody, but whatever. Something tells me things like “legality” and “ethics” aren’t exactly Kimmy’s top priorities.

It kills me that Taylor has been bested by two of the most fucking annoying people to ever exist — not because I like her or anything, but because I definitely dislike the other two more — but here we are. I’ve long suspected Taylor Swift is a government plant to brainwash us all anyway, so I can’t say I’m surprised she isn’t as innocent as she’d have the world think. (I mean, have you ever willingly found yourself tapping your fingers and reciting her song lyrics on repeat throughout the day? I didn’t think so. That shit just worms its way into your subconscious and has a party with your gray matter. TOTAL BRAINWASHING MATERIAL.)

At any rate, it’s pretty safe to say I don’t give a rat’s ass what’s going on between the Kardashian Klan and Taylor Swift. But what I do quite enjoy is the hilarity that ensues on social media whenever one of these meaningless happenstances hits the net.

So for your viewing pleasure, here’s Twitter’s reaction to the whole garbage mess. Take five to soak it in and have a laugh, and then read War and Peace or try to solve the nation’s economic crisis afterward — you know, something that will help you replenish the brain cells you’ve lost after enduring this nonsense for 10 minutes of your life. (Time you can never get back, by the way. You’re welcome.)