An Irreverent Guide to Menopause

Here’s a taste from my latest book, Menopause Sucks, which will hit stores in June. I co-authored the book with bestselling author Joanne Kimes. I remember my first episode of perimenopause as clearly as the first time I saw the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show. I was sweating, crying, clawing at my hair, and ripping off my clothes. Unfortunately, I was 46 years old and there was no Fab Four in sight. In fact, this horrific event happened during a business meeting.Wearing my sassy yet sophisticated power suit with the appropriate accessories and ladder-climbing shoes, I was speaking to a group of Very Important Personnel. Suddenly some horrific and unknown force of evil invaded my body and mind, rendering me a breathless mass of confusion. I swear that it was similar to having a mammogram, a root canal, and a colonoscopy in a sauna while watching reruns of the shower scene from the movie Psycho. Only worse. I feared death was imminent as my chaotic mind ratcheted into panic mode. Who would care for my children? Had I paid the electric bill? Crap, if this is the end, why didn’t I have that donut after all? Yup, it was perimenopause. I assumed that peri was the Latin word for “dangerous” and menopause was the word for “crazy lady.” I learned that these symptoms were only part of the total menu of midlife maladies that could occur as I transitioned into the real mother of all body betrayals. Menopause. Wasn’t I too young, too busy, and just too perky to deal with the “M” word? I decided right then and there that yes, Menopause Sucks!Like what you’ve read so far? Menopause sucks is full of helpful hints, amusing anecdotes, and sassy suggestions for those in search of fearless facts and a cold drink. The book is available for pre-order now at amazon.com!.