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Lady Lions Drop Big Game Against She-Nuts

Penn State Women’s Basketball – sometimes known as the team that doesn’t make us cry ourselves to sleep – has had a little rough patch in an otherwise impressive season, dropping their fourth game in a row when they gave up a 15-point lead over the Ohio State on Sunday. It was the team’s eleventh consecutive loss to the She-Nuts*. They’ll look to bounce back when they host Minnesota on Thursday.

*I didn’t bother to verify if the Buckeyes have a feminine counterpart as others do (Nittany Lions + Women’s Sports= Lady Lions), but because I have a very immature sense of humor, I’m going to assume it’s the Ohio State She-Nuts.

Head coach of the men’s soccer program Barry Gorman unexpectedly announced his resignation Monday. He leaves a legacy of 22 years of coaching and three Big Ten titles in his wake. Citing “personal reasons,” he has left the team to a nation-wide search for his successor.

“We expected Gorman to be there,” [rising Senior and Co-Captain Andres] Casais said of next season. “He was a father figure to us.”

Oof, that can’t feel good. The move isn’t completely out of the blue, as Gorman was periodically absent during the past few weeks without notice. But from all accounts, his intention to resign was only revealed yesterday. On the abandonment scale, this registers just slightly above “going to the store for some cigarettes and never coming back.”

A Pennsylvania Disciplinary Board hearing began on Tuesday in Pittsburgh for former Penn State general counsel Cynthia Baldwin, who is accused of violating rules of professional conduct in her representation of former university administrators during the Jerry Sandusky investigation.