An aspirant's several years search for Allah, made possible by His grace/mercy ,and not through any efforts of the seeker

Sunday, May 22, 2016

212. ST.
Catherine of Siena. Part seventeen

We were discussing the vision in which Jesus asked her to
choose between the crown of gold and crown of thorns.

Jesus said “All
things are in my power. In the end you will get complete victory over the
Devil” The vision ended. She told Raymond that her head hurt where it had been
pricked by the thorns of the crown.The
response of Catherine to evil of Andrea with good eventually had an effect on
Andrea. She felt guilty and remorseful. One day she had the vision with open
eyes in which Catherine face transformed into that of angelic beauty. I have
already described it in blog 207. That vision had a profound effect on Andrea.
She wept bitterly. She asked Catherine for forgiveness. Catherine said, there
is nothing to forgive. Catherine threw herself in the arms of the person who
had damaged her reputation. Andrea told everybody that she had spread lies and
that Catherine was a pure and pious virgin. She told them of the
transfiguration of Catherine and the holy light. There
is a final extraordinary story to report in the interaction between Andrea and
the holy virgin. One day the stench from the wound was so great that it
overwhelmed Catherine. She was nauseated and wanted to vomit. But she still
cleaned the ulcer. Then she collected all that putrid fluid and pus in a cup
and drank it! She also put her mouth to the sore. This was her act of rebellion
against her revulsion to the smell and pus. She wanted to conquer her body. And
she did. She confided to Raymond, “Never in my life have I tasted any food and
drink sweeter or more exquisite.”That night Jesus appeared in her vision. He
praised her lavishly. Part of what He said was, “….not only did you show
indifference to what people said about you, but……you cheerfully drank that
abhorrent drink….I will give you a drink that transcends every human nature and
expectation.” He whispered to her, “Drink daughter from my side…”She put her
lips to the most holy wound and drank abundantly the indescribable and holy
liquid. The effect of that liquid was that her soul and body was permeated with
graces.

From that time onwards she never wanted food or was able to
tolerate it.

Raymond writes in the end,” Imust insist that all that I write was either
confessed to me by Catherine herself or I found it amongst the writing of Fra
Tommaso , her first confessor, or else I was told by Friars of my own order or
reliable women whom I have already named, who were companions of Catherine.

Pious
life. Catherine lived in God. God showed in her. Her whole
appearance scintillated with purity. Her friends described that men trembled in
her presence. Her face glowed. Being with her was a spiritual experience.

Ecstasy.
Ecstasy has been experienced by all great saints, belonging to all religions. When
in ecstasy, Saint Catherine would become rigid, and unaware of time, space and
surroundings. She did not respond to sight or sound or touch. Raymond and the
other Friars watched it a thousand times. After receiving the Eucharist she
would often fall down in ecstasy, lasting for 3-4 hours. Her clenched fingers
would tightly press into the palms. Her eyes would be tightly shut. On the
feast day of the Apostle’s conversion it lasted for 3 days and nights. There
was not the slightest sign of life. People thought that either she has died or
was near death. One day a woman kicked her while she was in ecstasy. She
suddenly died the same day. Another
wretch dragged her unconscious body out of the church in the street. He was
punished so severely that Raymond chose not to describe it. Friar Pietro di
Lando pricked all over her body with a needle. Even that did not awaken her.
This Friar had a miserable end. In the court of Avignon, the women of the court
treated her ecstasies as spectacles and stuck pins in her feet to see if that
would awaken her.

What did Catherine say about the rapt state?

She gave different accounts at different times. One time she
described heaven and what was going on. Sometimes she would come back with
instruction for her companions. Sometimes she won’t say anything, because the
experience would be beyond words. Once while she was in rapt state, she started
repeating the phrase, “I have seen the secret things of God.” Once
she said that she felt as if her soul entered in God and God entered in her
soul, like the fish is in water and water is in the fish.

Holy
Anorexia. Living without food or very little food is not uncommon.
Dr Bell has collected two hundred and sixty-one possible cases of holy
anorexia. Stomach shrinks due to not eating. A stage reaches when eating causes
pain due to inability of stomach to expand. Pain may cause pleasure, because
one is suffering for God. The disease when it occurs in modern women who wants
to stay thin and attractive is called Anorexia nervosa. It has high mortality
and very difficult to treat. Catherine did not eat or drink after she drank pus
of Andrea and liquid from the wound of Jesus, as described above.

Stigmata.
The stigmata on her hand and feet were not visible. Mother Theodosia Drane wrote,
“…in the center of the palm there was an appearance as if the flesh under the
skin was missing, so that if lighted candle was placed behind it, a distinct
light would become visible on the other side.”

End of
book five with “Oh God! Oh Rabboni*”_____________________________________________

Saturday, May 14, 2016

211. ST.
Catherine of Siena. Part sixteen

The beggar had received a sleeveless tunic from Catherine.
He said that he would rather also have sleeves. Catherine searched the house
again to find some sleeves. she found the new dress of the serving woman
hanging from a pole. She took it down and unstitched the sleeves from the dress
and gave them to the beggar. The beggar said, “You have given me all these nice
clothes. Lord bless you for this. However I have a friend in the hospital who
is in great need of clothing. If you have any clothes for him, I will take
them.” Catherine was thrown on the horns of a dilemma: should she give him the
only tunic she was wearing, or she be modest and not give her only garment
covering her body? Modesty won. She explained her quandary to the beggar. The
beggar smiled and left.

Jesus Christ appeared in a vision that night. He showed him
her tunic which she had given to the beggar. It was adorned with pearls and
gems. Jesus praised her. He offered her a red tunic with rays of light coming
out of it, and put it on her body with His own holy hands. That vision left her
with a strange result. From then onwards she was never in need of winter
clothes, even when it was icy cold outside.

Once a beggar approached her as she was coming from the
church of Preaching Friars. He said he needed help. She had nothing of value to
give it to him. Then she remembered that she had a small silver cross at the
end of her beads called Paternoster. She tore the cross from the thread and
gave it to the beggar. The beggar went away.

That night she saw Jesus Christ in a vision. He had the same
cross in His hands, but now it was adorned with gems. He said, “Do you
recognize this cross? “She said, “Yes, I do, but it did not have diamonds on it
before.”He said, “I will give it to you on Judgment Day when I will be with My
Father, and announce your good deed of helping Me.”

A poor woman named Cecca had advanced leprosy and was in a
hospital. People avoided going near her due to the fear of catching the
disease, but not Catherine. She embraced her and started nursing her every
morning and evening. The disease made the woman miserable. She relieved her
anger and frustration by lashing at Catherine. She became more and more
demanding. Her ingratitude became difficult to bear. If virgin was ever late in
the morning because of longer prayer in the church, Cecca will taunt her. For
example, she would say, “Oh! At last here comes the lady queen of Fontebranda. Did
you have enough of those friars? And so on.”Catherine would ignore her and
start the fire and cook the food. Then she would feed her and do other chores.
Her mother Lapa was very worried that Catherine would catch leprosy. But
leprosy was of no concern to Catherine; the task of taking care of the sick
woman was her sole concern. Soon infection attacked her hands. It was obvious
to everybody that this was leprosy. The infection lasted a long time. Finally
the end came for Cecca and one day she died. Catherine washed her body and
clothed her. As soon as Cecca was buried a miracle happened: all traces of
leprosy disappeared from the virgin’s body.

Andrea was a Sister of Penance. She developed cancer of
breast. It gave such a horrible stench that one had to pinch one’s nose near
her. Catherine took care of all her needs with affection and diligence. One day
the bad smell became worse. Catherine was overcome by the stench and became
sick. Waves of nausea came. She put her mouth and nose to the wound and kept it
there till the nausea subsided. This was her way to conquer her body.Even Andrea was horrified by her act. For
some reason the woman developed intense hatred towards Catherine. She spread
rumors that Catherine was a wicked woman and was leading a secret, wicked life,
and that she had lost her virginity. Other nuns heard these lies. They believed
Andrea and insulted Catherine with vile words. Catherine replied to them by
saying, “Indeed I am a virgin”. However she did not stop her good work of
taking care of Andrea.

One night she was overcome with grief. She came to her cell
and wept and prayed. She asked Jesus to
help her. And then the Savior appeared in a vision. He held a gold crown
studded with jewels in one hand and a crown of thorns in the other. He said, “Choose
one crown. Whatever crown you choose, you will get it in this life, but you
will get the other crown in the next life.”Without any reluctance, Catherine
chose the crown of thorns and put it on her head.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

210. ST.
Catherine of Siena. Part fifteen

Jesus explained that she had to fight this battle without
any visible aid from Him, but He was in her heart that is why these scenes
repelled her.

Unlike St Teresa of Avilla, who was very close to Jesus, but
never saw Him with physical eyes, she saw Him, on occasions, with worldly eyes
(blog77). How Jesus taught her, Raymond quotes her, “…either in the form of
inspiration, or through His speaking to as I am speaking to you now, before
your very eyes.”

“No matter whether she was praying, meditating, reading,
watching or sleeping, she was comforted one way or another by vision of Jesus;
at times, even when she was talking to other people…”

Church
Reform. Oneof
her missions was to purify the church of corruption. She also tried to bring
peace between various factions and regions of the country. She wrote more than
three hundred letters. At times, she would be dictating to five men; praying
and dictating. She wrote letters to Popes, kings, queens, city officials, and
ordinary people. She wrote to king of France to make peace with England. She
would write to bishops and priests. Here is a sample letter to Gerard du Puy,
the man responsible for appointments of pastors and bishops in Tuscany :

“Our Lord holds in aversion three detestable vices above all
others___they are impurity, avarice and pride. And they all reign in
the spouse of Christ ___ at least among her prelates, who seek after
nothing but pleasures, honors and riches……. And when the time comes for
choosing pastors and cardinals, let not flattery and money and simony have any
part in their election; regard nothing but good qualities of the persons
proposed, and give no heed to whether they are peasants or nobles. Virtue is
the only thing which really makes a man noble, or pleasing to God.”

I have already narrated the story of, Brother Gabriel,
master of sacred theology, and Father JohnTantucci, also a master of sacred
theology. Brother Gabriel lived in fancy quarters and slept under silk sheets. Catherine
converted both scholars to lives of simplicity, poverty and service.

In a letter to the Pope she wrote that his first job as Pope
was to reform the church.

She wrote in a letter to Raymond that according to a revelation by
Jesus on the night of April 1, 1376,

she had beenchosen to reform
and purify the church. “God revealed His
mysteries to me and showed me His wonderful counsels …, and I was filled with
such abundant joy that my tongue has no power to express it.”

Love of neighbor. In
Christianity, the term ‘love of neighbor’ means love of fellow human beings, or
simply love for others. One day, when she was a young girl, Jesus told her that
God wants two things from human beings; love of God and love of neighbor. She
will have to fulfill both. She had nothing of her own. She asked her father his
permission to give alms, which he did. Soon she was giving clothes of his
brothers and servants to poor.

There were a number of needy families in the neighborhood who were too
ashamed to beg but needed help. One day she gathered grain, and wine and went
to their house. Door was open and she deposited her load.

One time she became sick. Her body swelled up.There was a poor widow with sons and
daughters, all dying from hunger, who lived nearby. She prayed to Lord at night
to help her in the morning. She found a small sack of grain, a large bottle of
wine, a small bottle of oil, some edibles. She did not think she could carry
all that material in one trip. But she tried. She asked Lord for help. The
weight felt light like straw and she was able to lift the entire load. As she
came nearer to her destination, her strength started giving away. The door of
the house was open. As she entered, her strength was completely gone. She fell
in the entry. It made quite a noise.Initially she did not have the strength to move, but eventually she was
able to crawl out. The widow had come to investigate. She recognized her
benefactor by her habit.

It is pertinent to narrate her encounter with two needy beggars and two
infirm women

One day Lord appeared to her as beggar and asked for some clothing. She
was coming out of nun’s chapel. She went back to the chapel and took out her
sleeveless tunic which she was wearing under her outer tunic as protection
against cold, and gave it to the beggar. The beggar asked her if she could also
give him some linen. She took him home. She searched the house and found a
shirt and a pair of pants from her father and brothers clothes and gave it
cheerfully to the beggar. Was the beggar satisfied?