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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

SIASA ZA KENYA

Why does it surprise anyone that politicians trailing in opinion polls reject them out of hand? The correct strategic reaction to being behind in such polls is to say they are flawed, even if you know they are right. Does anyone really think Kalonzo or Kibaki have anything to gain from ‘accepting’ they are taking a beating?*****

With the election campaigns in top gear, Lucas Odemba says he has noted that some TV stations are going to great lengths to ensure the deaf follow the proceedings by enlisting the services of sign language interpreters. That’s commendable. However, a curious Lucas, who is a keen viewer of the political discussion programmes, poses: “What signs do they use for the three presidential contenders, Raila Odinga, Mwai Kibaki and Kalonzo Musyoka?”

*****

Last weekend saw two surprise champions at the Standard Chartered Nairobi International Marathon. A last minute burst of energy saw Mr John Njoroge speed past Mr Wilson Chelang to the men’s Sh1.5 million prize. As for the women’s race, Ms Rose Jepkemboi lived up to the promise of her birthplace Kondapilet (which means eye of lightning). To do so, however, she had to borrow the Sh1,200 fare to Nairobi. Palaver thinks there was a missed political opportunity here: a courtesy bus from Kondapilet to Nairobi for everyone who wanted to run!*****

That France's Nicolas Sarkozy is one mercurial fellow.

Not too long ago he was showing the world his dark side by displaying much Gallic rudeness during an interview for the popular US news programme ‘60 Minutes’. He ended that interview by storming out when asked about the state of his marriage. (He and his wife Cecilia, it later emerged, are getting a divorce). Now Palaver is amused to see him overdoing the French charm during a meeting with Prof Wangari Maathai. Is there really a social situation where one’s hands end up on the face of a Nobel laureate?*****

What terrible irony! remarks Mark Evans Ondari, on Nobel laureate James Watson, who, on turning up for an auspicious occasion meant to extol the virtues of his new book, Avoid Boring People: Lessons from a Life in Science, in London, blabbered about the stereotype of Africans being less intelligent than Europeans. “The lesson we learn from him is that neither education nor a Nobel prize is enough to cure a racial bigot.”

*****

Dr Watson may have unravelled the structure of DNA, but what he blurted out recently is the inherent belief in his society, where even the most illiterate people think they are superior to the most educated Africans, says Andayi Mushenye. “Here in America, with this logic in place, it means every white hoodlum I see on the street begging thinks he’s more intelligent than an educated me.”

*****

Now that the majimbo debate has become too heated and has apparently already ‘divided’ even the Catholic Church, perhaps it’s time for a commercial break and some comic relief before we pick up from where we left off. We need a political buffoon to arise and deflate this debate. Palaver has already scripted his one-liner for him: "Hata sisi tunasema tunataka majimbo moja!" Any takers?...........Crazy..It is supposed to be JIMBO*****

Whenever he goes to the bank or church or boards a matatu(Bus), George Kodjuo said he has been seeing rather too many pregnant women in Nairobi lately. And in response, Felix Ochido says it’s hardly surprising as many Kenyan women tend to give birth between August and October. “These are the products of last December’s holidays. During the Christmas and New Year festivities, people celebrate a lot, with many couples reuniting after long separations. December is squarely to blame!”

******

And finally...

A man accused of taking pornographic photos of himself has been dumped as a candidate in Australia’s November election. Mr Andrew Quah, 21, admitted photos showing his penis and circulating on gay websites had made his candidacy untenable.

"But that’s not my penis," Quah protests, adding one of the images may have been digitally altered to make the... er... tool smaller.

No word on whether ‘Australia’s Smallest Loser’ plans to emigrate to Canada and join the Sex Party.

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