For a long time I wasn't listening to music, to the rock and roll stuff on the radio, because it would cause me to get sweaty--it would bring back memories I didn't want to know about, or I would get that feeling that I'm not alive 'cause I'm not making it. And if it was good, I hated it 'cause I wasn't doing it. And if it was bad, I was furious 'cause I could've done it better...