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"The Wide Load" : A 110lb teenage girl gets up and exits the train. You take her seat. The problem - you are roughly three times her size and your ass is four times larger than that small vacant space. But I'm sure the people on either side of you love the cozy snuggling-like experience you are bringing to their day!

Unfortunately I'm the 110lb girl who didn't get off the train and gets half my seat taken over by wide load's ass.

"The Pole-Hugger" : Maybe you dream of working in strip club, but the pole is not your private domain. Be kind and share the pole, so the rest of us can stand around it in an awkward circle and avoid hand-touching and eye contact.

"The Blaster" : Earbuds are the greatest public transportation innovation since since electrified rails, but did you know that you are playing your music so DAMN LOUD that I can hear it clearly above the din? Yes, I am now keenly aware that Katy Perry kissed a girl... and liked it.

Sometimes I can hear it clearly above my own iPod.

"The Seat Pouncer" : You start your preparations before the train stops. You scan the interior. You calculate. You nudge forward. The doors open. It's like the starting gun of the race. Moving as swiftly and aggressively as a hungry cougar, you spot your goal. The empty seat. Nothing stands between you and that seat.

Have you ever been at the Main Street station during the morning rush? You would think there was a million dollars for the first person that gets on the train.

"The Dreamer" : It's been a long day. You're tired. Why not catch a little nap on the train? I'm OK with that, but you've slipped into your REM state a bit too far. With every motion of the train, your limp body sways into my personal space a little bit further. I fear the next time the train stops you will tumble right over. Your head buried deep into my lap. Yuck. And if you're in that condition because you're drunk - I add the fear that your vomit will end up on my shoes. If you don't mind, I'll just stand over there.

This happens to my husband a lot. Sometimes he'll just get up out of his seat just so he can see the guy fall over.

I'll cop to being the seat pouncer except when there are older or pregnant women that are in need of a seat. I'll also cop to being one who tries to anticipate where people are getting off for potential seats. I just really don't like standing and will do the best I can to get a seat when there aren't others that need the seat more than me. I also am one of those on the bus that will weave their way to the back just to get one of those empty seats if they're there.

LMFAO @ gichicago! We are made of the same thread! I was starting to think I was just a miserable *****. I think it's f***g ridiculous that they can't even give the people like literally 4 seconds to get off. I slam my whole elbow into them just to "get even". Yeah I'm pretty rotten.

I guess I can be considered a "seat pouncer" but I'm in no way aggressive about. I like to call what I do "Strategic Seat Acquisition Assessment". All I do is stand in front of or near an individual who is likely to leave the train soon (usually an Upper East sider or Harlemite) and acquire their seat when I leave the train. It has a decent success rate provided the train isn't overly packed.

I guess I can be considered a "seat pouncer" but I'm in no way aggressive about. I like to call what I do "Strategic Seat Acquisition Assessment". All I do is stand in front of or near an individual who is likely to leave the train soon (usually an Upper East sider or Harlemite) and acquire their seat when I leave the train. It has a decent success rate provided the train isn't overly packed.

That's me too. I've never noticed anyone else doing the same in the same car as me. It'd be funny to see a competition between two or three seat pouncers.

I guess I can be considered a "seat pouncer" but I'm in no way aggressive about. I like to call what I do "Strategic Seat Acquisition Assessment". All I do is stand in front of or near an individual who is likely to leave the train soon (usually an Upper East sider or Harlemite) and acquire their seat when I leave the train. It has a decent success rate provided the train isn't overly packed.

That is funny! And so true. Works like a charm for me also - WHEN I take the subway. All the sentiments expressed on this thread are exactly why I usually prefer to ride the Express bus. To me, it is so worth the extra $. But sometimes I kind of miss the craziness and will go underground just for old times sake. But after a couple of times and I want to pull my hair out. Thank Goodness for those buses. (Now if I could wave a magic wand and make all obnoxious cell phone users/abusers just disappear....But that's another thread. LOL)

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