In Sickness & In Health

Jay has been saying that he would write a guest piece for around a year. Well I have finally pinned him down. The first time I read it was when he handed it to me ready to be typed up onto my blog. I won’t lie some of it moved me to tears. He is a typical bloke who quite often doesn’t say what he’s thinking or what’s worrying him. I know he loves me that much is clear but I am so proud of him for writing this piece and introducing himself to my readers. So here it is…..

Hi,

I’m Jamie. I am 43 years old and I am married to Rachel. You may be a frequent visitor to her blog and while you are all probably well aware of our dogs (as understandably so) they get more blog time than me, you may not know much about me.

I met Rachel in 1997, whilst we were both attending a management training course. I knew from the minute I met her she was going to play a massive and pivotal role in my life. We were engaged around one month after we met and I moved in with her the following year.

We were married in 2000 in Sri Lanka. An incredible setting for such an important moment in our lives. We eloped and our trip to Sri Lanka was not only our Wedding destination but the first time we had been abroad on holiday together.

Three years later we purchased our now home and lived happily ever after…….

The End.

Well not quite. You see regardless of what happened then to her health, nothing changed for me. She is still the same incredible person.

A lot of people told me to “walk away” or told me “this isn’t what you signed up for”. However what I signed up for, was to spend the rest of my life with my lover and best friend. And that is what I am doing.

Others have said to me “oh being a carer and working full-time must be so exhausting”. My answer is “No it’s not. She is there when I wake up and there when I return home from work.” During all the visits to the doctors / consultants, guess what? We are together and we talk for hours. In fact it doesn’t matter how bad things get, she’s always talking! We rarely even listen to music in the car because every journey is filled by the sound of us laughing and chatting. So don’t feel bad for me. I have the best life there is, spending so much time with my amazing wife.

Yes there are up’s and downs. Occasionally I get very stressed out because she is so unwell. Sometimes I need to take emergency time off work to look after Rachel and I have to say work have been fantastic in supporting me and looking out for my mental health.

Rachel has supported me selflessly over the years. She has supported me as I have grown as a person and as a husband. She has always been there for me, as I have been there for her.

Yes I make mistakes, I leave the toilet seat up, smear shaving phone on the mirror, leave blue hair gel in the bathroom sink and I undercooked a pizza once. I also promised to write this blog post last week when I was on holiday from work but instead found myself overtaken by the other love of my life my PS4.

Through all the bumps on the road of life, we know and understand each other better everyday. In February we celebrated 20 years together as a couple, this September we will have been married 17 years.

So that’s about it, short and sweet I know but not a downbeat, oh woe is me post. I couldn’t be happier. I do hope you’ve enjoyed my blog post and that you will continue to support my wife’s blog.

I met Jamie and Rachel in 2003 when I started working in the same store as them. An amazing couple, chatty, funny, same dark sense of humour as myself. They’ve both given me support over the years in many ways, which I’d happily repay whenever I get the chance. We don’t talk often enough and certainly don’t see each often enough but when we do speak it’s like we only spoke yesterday. Love them both and wished I lived next door, although I don’t think my dog would feel the same lol.

Oh and er, men don’t “walk away” and marriage/love isn’t something you “sign up for”. If anyone that said that reads this, please take a moment to reflect on those comments. These guys are an inspiration to so many people, healthy or not.

Thank you so much for that lovely comment. It was so lovely of you to take the time to read Jay’s post and to leave such a wonderful comment.

You are a very dear friend to both of us and we don’t get to see each other often enough. Wouldn’t it be hysterical if we did live next door to each other. Beau would get on fab with Mollie as shes fine with other dogs, its just Frankie who is scared of his own shadow.

Both Jay and I have had some very awful things said to us over the years, since I got sick. Those mentioned in the piece are just the tip of the iceberg. People are ridiculously insensitive or have very bizarre ideas about relationships.

Thanks again for taking the time to leave a comment – Jay says thank you too, I have just read it out to him.