January 21, 2005CanadianPuckChaser39 has signed on.KATES21 writes:Hey!CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Hey! How’s it going?KATES21 writes:I’m alright . . . You?CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:I’ve been better.KATES21 writes:What’s wrong?CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Oh, just lots of little stuff. Being home at Christmas was reallyhard. I don’t even know why. My parents hate each other. They haven’t slept in the same room for years.. . . for some reason it just really bothered me while I was there and it’s still on my mind how messed upthings really are back home. I’m probably just worn out from the SATs though.KATES21 writes:Oh yeah! How did those go?CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:

Ok. About what I expected I guess. I’m just glad they’re done.KATES21 writes:I’m sure you did really good on them. I’m so proud of you for doing the sats period lol Icould never do them. I hope you get into, USC lol then we can all come down on a road trip. Me and Jillare already talking about it. Lol don’t think we want you to go but we want you to be happy.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:I hope so. I was really optimistic when I first applied, but nowthat reality has sunk in, I’m just like, “where am I going to find the money” and “this is stupid. You’regoing to be so lonely down there”. I want to do this so bad, but I just, I don’t know if it’s really possible.KATES21 writes:I think it is something you need to do for yourself and I have a feeling that somethingwill happen really really good if you go to school down there and it will change your life forever. And omgethan you are going to be amazing. You are going to be something great

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and you already are so that will just add to it

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CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Thanks.

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That would be nice. I’m not overly happy with my liferight now. I hate it somedays and am dissatisfied on other days. But I’m pretty fortunate to have a friendlike you Kate.KATES21 writes:Thank-you.KATES21 writes:

January 22, 2005CanadianPuckChaser39 has signed on.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Jess! How’s it going?OILERSFAN1984 writes:I’m alright. Yourself?CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Okay. I’m so sick of writing these college essay though! I justknow I’m going to put in all this work and I’m not going to be able to go because of a lack of money. Itsucks though because it’s the first time I’m actually trying to do something with my life.OILERSFAN1984 writes:I know you have your sights set on going to the states, but you’re right, knowthat it is going to be A LOT more expensive for you to do that. There are some really good schools and programs in Canada, not necessarily in Alberta. I think we are lucky to live in this country and get thefunding that we do get to post-secondary, no matter how much people like to complain we still get a lotmore funding than say the US or England. I’m not trying to discourage you from going where you want togo, I’m just thinking logically.

CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Yeah. My heart has just always wanted to go to school down there.It’s the only dream of mine that seems somewhat attainable. But you’re right.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:I just feel like such a loser. I mean next year everyone is finishingtheir schooling and I’ll just be starting. If I’m lucky! I’ve done nothing with my lifeOILERSFAN1984 writes:Just because you haven’t been to university, that doesn’t make you a loser or failure or whatever. 21 is not old! Most people are still figuring out what they want to do at 21. Hey, atleast you bought a car, I haven’t even done that!CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Maybe. It’s about all I have. It’s really not that great of anaccomplishment.OILERSFAN1984 writes:I just think you should stop dwelling on this other crap, because it is not helpingyou at all.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Yeah.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Anyways, I should go to class.OILERSFAN1984 writes:Alright. Take care Ethan. I hope I haven’t discouraged you at all ‘cause that’sthe last thing I’d want to do.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Later.CanadianPuckChaser39 has signed off.

FIREBLADE86 writes:heyCANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Hey.FIREBLADE86 writes:what’s up?CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes: Not a whole lot right now.FIREBLADE86 writes:what did you do tonight?CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes: Nothing. Sat in my room.

FIREBLADE86 writes:oh.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:I’m beginning to hate it here so much Nick. I don’t haveconnections with anyone, at least not the kind I want. I want to actually

know

people, but it’s just the samesuperficial gloss as everywhere else. I don’t belong here.FIREBLADE86 writes:why do you say that?CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:I don’t really feel like I matter to anyone, like they actually care.I’m tolerated by a lot of people, but I think that’s the worst state to be in. If you’re hated, at least you canmove on and deal with it. If you’re tolerated, you always have false hope. But I don’t matter to anyone. Night after night, everybody and their posse pass by and I’m left here alone, facing this damn computer screen.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:I just want to matter to someone. I want to be liked. I want to belong. And if it’s this bad here, I’m screwed for next year in the States.FIREBLADE86 writes:i understand.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:I long for more. I ache for it. I’m just so lonely. I need somethingreal.

FIREBLADE86 writes:yeahCANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:On a brighter note, I went to a church last Sunday and actuallyliked it.

FIREBLADE86 writes:where at?CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:In the city. It was really awesome actually. I’d really like to go back someday, and I didn’t think I’d ever say that about a church again. But it was so raw and real. Youwalked in and it had more a club atmosphere than a church atmosphere, and they just really brought it back to being about people and God. It was so good!FIREBLADE86 writes:that’s awesome!FIREBLADE86 writes:i’ve finally found someplace too. it’s weird after the whole church break-up, buti’m enjoying it.

CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:I’m still having trouble about not being bitter at the whole idea of organized religion and church in general. I think I hate church more than most of the public, and I’m aChristian. But I really did enjoy it. Maybe this will help me. I’m sick of being bitter at events that areyears old.FIREBLADE86 writes:yeah, i hear what you’re saying.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Anyways, I gotta jet. Dish crew in the morning! Yeah! Thanksfor chatting though. We’ll do it again soon, okay?FIREBLADE86 writes:for sure.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Bye.CanadianPuckChaser39 has signed off. ______________________________________________________________________________________ February 1, 2005CanadianPuckChaser39 has signed on.SMARSHE writes:Hey son!CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Mom!SMARSHE writes:How are you?CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Frustrated. Overwhelmed. How about you?SMARSHE writes:Okay. I can’t get your father to do anything. He just sits in his chair all day watchingT.V. or reading and wastes everyday.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Well, that’s nothing really new.SMARSHE writes:Yesterday I came home from work at one in the morning, and he was sprawled out bythe entrance in a pool of blood. He must have fallen down the stairs again. I don’t know how much longer we can keep him at home.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Yeah, anyways Mom, I gotta go. Sorry to run off like this.SMARSHE writes:Okay. I love you.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:I love you too. Bye.CanadianPuckChaser39 has signed off. ______________________________________________________________________________________ February 14, 2005CanadianPuckChaser39 has signed on.KATES21 writes:Hey! Are you alright? Your display name looks like you’re kind of down.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:This has quite possibly been the one of the worst weeks I’ve had ina long, long time.KATES21 writes:what happened?CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Well, I lent my car out to some girls to go get supper and theycrashed it.KATES21 writes:holy shitKATES21 writes:how bad?CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:It’s not too bad. It’s definitely fixable. It’s just really frustrating.I just finish with all these papers, and I’m hoping for a little bit of relaxation, and then this happens. I meanit’s just a car. It doesn’t define my existence, although to some people I think it’s worth more than I am.It’s still frustrating though.KATES21 writes:I’m so sorry.KATES21 writes:How are things with Mandy? Did you talk to her? You two would be so cute together! ;)CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:Actually, things couldn’t be worse.KATES21 writes:I’m sorry.CANADIANPUCKCHASER39 writes:You know how her twin brother Corey is here? Well, today hefinally comes to talk with me, and tells me not only does she not have any interest, apparently I’m making