Case Number 24506: Small Claims Court

Hell

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All Rise...

Prepare to meet Judge David Johnson...in this movie.

The Charge

Survival is everything.

The Case

It's the future and things are going well. Life as we know it has largely
been wiped out, thanks to an abundance of lethal solar flares. The Earth has
been reduced to a sand-blasted, post-apocalyptic wasteland and the few remaining
survivors spend their days eeking out meager existences while bumming water and
gasoline off any passers-by they may encounter.

One band of survivors—Marie, her sister, a guy named Phillip, and Tom
the mechanic—make their way into the wilderness, drawn by rumors of clean
water; a most precious commodity. As the group's cohesiveness begins to
deteriorate, they're suddenly sucked into a whole new nightmare. A deranged
family has targeted them—specifically the girls—for some kind of
crazy white slavery scenario.

The moral, of course, being that no matter how hopeless and terrible the
world is after the apocalypse falls, you can always count on human beings to be
complete and utter a-holes to one another. Which seems to be a running theme in
all the post-apocalyptic movies I've seen.

The good news? The a-holes in Hell are pretty whacked-out and
unlikable, making them decent villains. The crazy backwoods family is a proven
terror commodity. The folks here aren't as bat-sh*t as the goobers from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, but
the menacing works. Their malevolence isn't splashy violence, but effective
nonetheless, especially as the family's twisted plans come to light.

The bad news? Our heroes are entirely forgettable. Oh sure, we pull for them
(especially the girls) when danger creeps in, but only as objects placed in
harm's way. As stand-alone characters, there's nothing new or interesting
happening here.

Hell is no brisk experience. It's only when the family enters the
picture that the pace picks up a bit. Before that, it's a slog. To be fair, this
was never intended to be a run-n-gun slugfest with mutants. The movie is simply
looking to paint a picture of survival at all costs, which is fine, but we've
seen this all before.

The DVD: standard def 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, Dolby 5.1 Surround in
original German and an English dub. No extras.

The Verdict

It's slick and tense in moments, but the sluggish pace keeps this in DVD
purgatory.