Kelly Clarkson Wants to Get Married & Tells Everyone But Her Boyfriend

Kelly Clarkson is rich and famous thanks in no small part to her songs that celebrate fist-pumping, independent gals who don't need a man thankyouverymuch. But in real life, Kelly just wants her bf to put a ring on it. Kelly, who has been dating her manager's son, Brandon Blackstock, for nine months, told Ellen DeGeneres:

We are totally going to get married. I mean, he's got to put a ring on it at some point. But I'll wait it out.

Cue the sound of a million screeching turntables doing a spittake. Seriously, Kelly? Beyoncé wrote this song. Not you. You're the "Stronger" girl. The "Miss Independent" girl. What happened, girl?!!!

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I'm all for a gal wanting to get married and especially for a gal who gets off her passive girly ass and asks the man. If he says no, think of how much time you can save dumping him and finding someone who does want to get married, rather than waiting around year after year, giving him passive-aggressive "hints" and getting into arguments about who takes out the garbage when inside you are screaming, "Why haven't you asked me to marry you yet, doofus??!!"

Kelly also went on to declare, "We will totally -- probably -- elope." Probably?! Are you getting the feeling Kelly hasn't actually discussed any of this with Brandon?

Kelly, there are a few ways to go about this marriage thing if you want it. One, tell your man calmly that you love him, and envision your life with only him, and would like to get married. If he hems and haws, give him a certain amount of time to think about it, and then rediscuss. (Do not keep repeating this, or you'll be doing it for decades.)

Ask your man flat out if he wants to get married. In other words, propose! If he says Hells no, then you've got your answer. No need to keep wondering.

But being all passive-aggressive with the "we're definitely sort of maybe probably getting married" and the "we're getting married but he needs to ask me and I'll wait but not really because I'm on national TV saying you need to put a ring on it"? Yeah, that's just kind of sad. Kelly needs to put on one of her old songs and dance around and pump her fist! What doesn't kill you makes you stroooooonger!!!