Chapter 1

May 2nd

2. The only reason to eat three bags of M&M's is if you want to commit suicide by chocolate.

3. Do not tell your friends you squeal like a puppy getting run over every time you get poked in the stommach. They will either look at you in horror or poke you really hard in the stommach.

4. Before you start singing along with the song on your iPod, remember you are in Science class.

5. Pluto is no longer a planet. Saying it is will get you laughed at.

6. Not everyone likes the Hunger Games, even though it is very hard to believe. Do not bring up the book with someone who despises it unless you want someone to complain loudly about one of your favorite books.

7. Don't ask your mom if you can quickly stop at the store on the way home to get a soda. You will spend twenty minutes getting everything BUT a soda.

8. Do not lend a classmate a pencil, especially when they aren't your friend.

9. When telling someone their grammar is incorrect, don't use incorrect grammar.

10. Not everyone loves anime, so not everyone will get your anime refrences.

11. Telling someone you spend a lot of time online will make them think you have no social life.

12. Text your sister before deciding to go home with a friend. She will wait for you after school, call her mother and scream curse words when she finds out no one bothered to tell her where you were. The teachers will not approve.

13. Don't forget a friend's birthday. Ever. It's really awkward.

14. If you are a paranoid person, do not assume that the beeping sound you hear is a bomb someone planted under your desk. It's your phone, and it's telling you it's low on batteries.

15. On Google Maps- Type "The Shire" into your location spot and "Mordor" into the destination, then click "Walking". If you like Lord of the Rings, that is.