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BREAKING NEWS: Shakira & Gerard Pique Sex Tape Does Exist and Is Out There Somewhere

So remember if you see it, contact your local police station immediately.

Spanish and Latin American outlets are reporting that a sex tape involving singer Shakira and Barcelona star defender Gerard Pique is being shopped.

Rumors about the tape have swirled for weeks — and representatives for Shakira have repeatedly denied its existence, but Spanish magazine Intervieu reports that a Barcelona talent agent was offered the tape for sale.

According to the magazine, the talent agent claims: “The video lasts about 15 minutes….it’s filmed with a cell phone, which I guess, belonged to Shakira’s employee who was at the helm of the boat that night. The images are not steady and it’s out of focus.”

Mexico’s TV Notas also reported that the tape was made by one of Shakira’s employees, who is using it to blackmail the singer.

That sound, is the sound of a billion pairs of hands hitting half a billion keyboards in search of a discreetly videoed film that does indeed appear to exist.

There has been speculation of the possibility of the existence of such a tape and even though the tape in question is apparently of poor quality that will not prevent the hungry clamour for it across the world.

The lengthy pursuit of this visual artifact may well have something to do with Cristiano Ronaldo’s bad mood of late, for he too may well have been on the quest for the holy grail of sex tapes.

Watch this space.

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