Wednesday, January 20, 2010

When I worked in corporate hell, one of my biggest gross-outs was when disgusting coworkers would clip their nails at their desks. What the hell is that about? Do you not have a freaking bathroom at home? When I quit and joined the circus I thought I'd be rid of such grodiness for good.

I was wrong.

Another booth babe relayed the following incident:

She was standing at her post behind her information desk when she heard the tell-tale clip-clip-clip sound. She rounded the corner to look where the display's seating area was and found a man. With his shoes and socks off. Clipping his toenails in the middle of the auto show.

Are you f-ing kidding me right now????

People are so god damned disgusting. If I had found him I would have had security throw his ass out of there for being a public health hazard.

Here's a checklist of things you should accomplish before you leave the house to visit me at the auto show:

1. Shower. Take extra care to scrub your armpits and butt crack.

2. Put on three times as much deodorant as you think you need. Skip the half bottle of cheap Wal-Mart perfume you regularly douse yourself with.

3. Brush and floss your teeth, for chrissake. Invest in some Crest Whitestrips while you're at it. They're only $30, easily affordable if you quit your vile cigarette/chewing tobacco habit that's making your mouth look like a bowl of Niblets.

4. Cut your freaking fingernails and toenails in your own bathroom.

5. Put on clean clothes that do not smell like pee.

6. Make sure you dress like a normal human being, otherwise I will take your picture and post it here so the world can see you obviously don't have a mirror at home and maybe start a collection to buy one for you. I consider this a public service.

I know six things might seem like a lot, but I promise you your auto show experience, sex life and job prospects will all improve. Stop being a smelly gross loser.

25 comments:

While some of these are general hygienic comments one would hope everyone does before going out in public, your comments on 'investing in some white strips' and dressing like a 'normal' human being reveal a undercurrent of shallowness that is, frankly, rather off-putting.

So you object to people judging you based on your appearance, but you're happy to judge others by theirs? Pot, meet kettle.

Wow! So anyone that does not subscribe to your opinion of what constitutes 'style' is not only poorly dressed, but actively damaging to society? I'll agree that some people could do to pay more attention to what they put on in the morning, but 'heightened level of civilization'? That's a bit of a reach.

People just don't get it no matter how many times they hear it. The first thing I thought of was the POWM site and then all the conferences and exhibits I attended. Unfortunately this carries over to exhibitors and spokespersons as well.

While I commend you for your professionalism at work, at a recent business expo in NYC several company reps (hired specifically for these events or actual execs) lacked these basic essentials as well. When they asked me if I would like to see how Company X can help me with Y service, I just kept walking in my suit, tie, and well pressed dress shirt.

But that will never stop us from posting on basic etiquette and common courtesy. Sooner or later they'll learn or become Darwin's next victim. (I personally wouldn't mind the latter)

I can understand where you are coming from on a lot of it, especially the nail thing. Btw, some people just naturally have yellow teeth and there is no whitening strip in the world that can help. It's kind of like telling some that is black, Asian, Arabic or whatever not to talk to you until they do something about it. That doesn't sound civilized to me.

Yes James, obviously I am full of rage because I want people to clip their toenails at home, brush their teeth and not grab my ass when I'm trying to work. I'm a regular candidate for anger management.

Plenty of folks have teeth that are stained from tetracycline and other antibiotics used in their youth. It's not poor hygiene. If someone chooses to not use chemical bleaching on their teeth, I don't think they need to conform to your standards of what looks good.

While good hygiene is necessary, frankly I find perfumes and colognes to be more bothersome to me than body odor. I remember when Opium was a popular scent - it would make me physically ill.

Also, deodorant is not really necessary for most people who don't do physical labor for a living. It takes a few hours for bacteria to turn fresh sweat into stench. If someone stinks from body odor it's not because they don't use deodorant but rather because they haven't showered or bathed in a while.

Someone who gets paid to wear designer clothes putting down someone for shopping at Walmart betrays more than a little snobbery.

Do you complain about folks wearing traditional African garb? What about Chassidic Jews? Pants on the floor boyz in da hood?

I don't mind orange fur vests. However, someone needs to tell women that two sets of spaghetti straps look funny. If you're going to wear a halter top, leave the bra at home.

Glad to see I'm not the only one that thinks the author's comments are somewhat out of line... I say again, basic hygiene is one thing. Expecting people to subscribe to YOUR idea of 'beauty' is another (and easy for you to say - as a 'booth babe', it's probably safe to say you've been blessed with the 'attractive' gene).

angrychinesedriver: you're right, any oggling is pathetic. It shouldn't matter if the oggler is wearing a bespoke suite and rolex or an orange, fuzzy vest. Sadly, through her post, the author is making an implication that your dress DOES make it worse.

For someone that objects to being judged on her looks, she's doing a great job of judging others on theirs. At least the ogglers are paying a (albiet rude and unappreciated) compliment. The blogger is simply tearing into people with poor fashion sense.

Though it's a generous offer, my teeth are not yellowed - or at least not yellowed enough for my dentist to suggest whitening. Still, if you really feel like spending $30 to make the world a better place, I'd suggest that you make a donation to Zaka.org, an Israeli non-profit founded by religiously observant Jews, that started out helping to recover and identify victims of terror bombings. Besides saving people and helping families of victims achieve closure by identifying victims, Jewish law puts a high value on treating human remains respectfully, a challenge when those remains have been blown to bits by a jihadi suicide bomber. Zaka makes sure that the remains are handled with care and dignity.

Zaka now assists in disaster recovery internationally and have a team on the ground in Haiti. BTW, the only field hospital working in Haiti is an Israeli operation.

Give the $30 to a charity helping people. That would do more good than whitening my teeth.

C'mon gang, lighten up. We've all thought/said similar things before, so glass houses and all that. I got a good chuckle out of her rant, even though I am one of those with a "vile cigarette/chewing tobacco habit". In my defense, I am trying to quit (yet again); plus, I use whitening rinse and proper oral hygene to keep my pearlies decently pearly.

Anyway, the fact is that there are a lot of skanky, nasty people out there who make me sick on a daily basis. Sometimes literally. One of my pet peeves are people who don't wash their hands regularly throughout the day. I once watched a women walking around a KMart, licking chocolate or something off the palm of her friggin' hand and handling merchandise. I mean, for Christ's sake! How hard is it to understand that we'd be less dependent in antibiotics if everyone would just wash their goddamn hands more than once a day?

Short story. I was visiting my Mom in Jackson, New Jersey. I had stopped at a local bank (Commerce Bank - now TD Bank). While standing in line waiting for service this late 50-ish man walks past everyone and stands in the area to wait for a desk person.

While waiting he proceeds to pull out some nail clippers and cuts his nails right there on the bank floor.

Who carries nail clippers with them? Is this something you think about when leaving the house? "Oh I need to get my clippers in case I have to wait in line at the bank."

You've already made it clear that you are only there to show a car and discuss it. Why should guys go to extra trouble just for you if that is the ground rules. I agree that proper hygene is important and should be observed daily, but not for you.

just because people have stained teeth does not give you the right to tell them to get strips to whiten their teeth. i used to smoke and my teeth are slightly stained. i have weekly business meetings with companies who support our race team and they arent offended. i dont know you so i wont judge, however you are the type of woman i avoided before i married.

I can relate to 'Do You Come With the Car?' and while some of the views may seem a bit extreme, an auto show is an extreme environment. I'm sure that there are pro football games that are less intense than an auto show!

In my ten years working in auto shows, I saw tens of thousands of dollars of malicious damage done to cars, and theft of anything that was not nailed down, pop-riveted and spot welded to the floor.

Another challenge was the people who wanted to spend an hour telling you about the time they repaired a puncture on their own Model T Ford (very reminiscent of Grandpa Simpson).

When our security guard caught a guy who had stolen several parts off one of our Mercedes-Benz's he said "I paid 20 bucks to get in here. I'm entitled to a souvenir." Our security guard diplomatically replied "and you're entitled to be introduced to the police so you can show them your great souvenirs." The guy handed back the stolen stuff and left.

In 1995 as I sat in car with one guy who had perhaps showered once in the 1970's, his B.O. made my eyes water so bad I had to go rinse them for ten minutes afterward.

Taking all that into account, it made me more appreciative of the great people I did meet at auto shows - customers, colleagues and regular people who shared a passion - for cars, technology, design, comfort etc.

Judge not, lest ye be judged... on the internet.I can't help but agree with both parties: as far as I'm concerned, let idiots (and yes, I'd call such people idiots. Bring it on, Intertubes!) dress poorly and have poor hygiene. That makes them easier to identify as idiots, and that's a boon. But I can definitely see how, if that were my work environment, I'd be opposed to having such boorish people about. Do you come with the car is a person who seems to be concerned about her image. I do not feel that should reflect negatively on her, as it is her right and prerogative. But, when has there ever been agreement on the internet?

Yes Actually I am here with statement of "Car People". I am in auto show from last 25 years and I have experienced the same thing that there is uncountable of dollars of malicious damage done to the cars.

Please leave a comment below - I do so love to hear from my public. I reserve the right to delete anything I want because it's my blog. Any guesses as to my identity will be deleted immediately. Spammers will be forced to attend a full season of monster truck rallies.

Follow me on Twitter!

Facebook Badge

Followers

Are you an auto show model, HIN girl or product specialist?

Do you have an auto show story? Tell me about your funniest experience, the most touching, the biggest jerk or the worst pickup line you've had laid on you. Email me at DYCWTC@gmail.com and I'll share it with my readers, keeping you anonymous.