In this super-edgy original series, we interrogate IT Pros in order to find out what makes them tick. In this episode, we dug deeply into the life of cmdlette, aka "Monica."

Here is the information we extracted:

What brought you to Spiceworks?

Initially, I was just researching and testing out various help desk solutions for work. Once that project was put on hold indefinitely, I stumbled across the community and the webinars and decided to stay.

What keeps you here?

The people and the webinars. All the ladies in the Women in IT group (like Cyali, rburch, Lisanator, to name a few) are awesome and just so incredibly supportive, and in the broader community I always look forward to seeing dimforest's replies. I can always rely on him for a laugh or two. (I know what keeps dimforest here, if webinar chat is anything to go by: "This community is a prison!" Which is to say he doesn't have a choice but to stay!)

What is your favorite aspect of the site?

The Water Cooler, without a doubt. When I need a context switch from learning, or have time between tasks at work, it's nice to socialize without having to talk shop.

What got you into the IT field?

I've been a tinkerer since I got my first PC, and when all of my friends and I got to high school we all got into web development (read: making crappy websites for ourselves). However when it came time to pick a field in college, I wanted to be a genetic engineer and my mom wanted me to be a lawyer so we agreed that a happy medium would obviously be art college. I spent 4 years in studio art but people soon found out that I wasn't pretentious like they were, so I switched majors to history before the self-proclaimed "Artists with a capital A" could exile me. Midway through my BA degree, I got what I can only describe as below-entry-level help desk job where I was being underpaid to troubleshoot the most basic of network and printer problems for the most difficult of people. Ultimately I got promoted to manager of that team, and left a while later for the quasi-sysadmin role I have now. IT generally treated me better than academia and art did, so I decided to stick with it.

What has been your favorite part of the industry?

Getting to learn something new every day. When I was a historian, I got to learn something old every day. When I was a studio artist, I got to learn something else wouldn't wash out of clothing every day.

What do you do now?

I'm a Systems Support Specialist (Administrative), which is the title given to someone who should be a sysadmin but whose job description starts with "other duties as assigned."

How did you learn your job?

My previous jobs prepared me for some of my current duties like automating software deployments and fixing printers by screaming at them in ancient Greek. I learned some new things on the job--mostly how to use, test, and troubleshoot the in-house software, and even how to operate a scissors lift so I could run cables.

What are your favorite technologies to work with?

PowerShell, if feminizing "cmdlet" for my username didn't make that obvious enough. In general I like automating tasks to make my job and fellow admins' jobs easier.

What sort of challenges do you face in maintaining your infrastructure?

Legacy support is the biggest hurdle. It's hard in the manufacturing field to get everyone on board with upgrades and updates--and that's just if an old software or hardware vendor has even made anything in the 21st century!

What new technologies are you implementing or looking at? Why?

SharePoint is a big one on the list of upcoming implementations; in part to keep every department and their shared documents better organized, and in part to exceed our compliance auditors' expectations for document control and collaboration.

What recent projects have you wrapped up? What did you learn from them?

I recently helped get everyone at my company updated to signatures managed in CodeTwo. I learned--well, reaffirmed--the fact that it's impossible to please everybody, if you can manage to please anyone at all. "The font color isn't the right shade." "Why doesn't it look as good on my iPhone?" At some point you just need to conspire with your team to stop replying to certain people's emails. ;) However, even though another admin had to do the important work of moving people into AD groups and tweaking names, titles, and extensions, he was told that *I* was the only one who should be sending emails to everyone to let them know about the changes we were making. Apparently my soft skills are alright!

Do you have any other story from the IT trenches that you would like to share?

This is a novella I'll call Other Duties as Assigned. Some characters and dialogue have been dramatized for entertainment purposes.

Sometimes you just have to be prepared for something that isn't really in your job description, like typing up old documents into new templates and not being able to use copy+paste because it's important to do the job right. The task in this story nearly ended in tragedy for our unlucky heroine, cmdlette. In a rush to unify the formatting of over 200 documents, the company selected cmdlette and the fast typers on the ends of her hands to retype things from Word documents into Excel spreadsheets. She was given a year to finish the project. "That seems like an excessive amount of time," she scoffed to herself, looking down at her flat keyboard. The next three months were a blur of numbers and letters, some of which even formed words. Ticka-tick-tack-ticka-tack, rattled off the keys as dollar signs, commas, periods, colons, Ctrl-B, Ctrl-I were smacked in their turns. For eight hours a day, five days a week, cmdlette's fingers were depressing keys in rapid succession. Progress, and so dramatically beating the deadline, were exciting.

On a Friday as 3:00 pm crept up on the clock, "Ahhhh, geez, what?! Ouch! Gahh! Help!" peeped out of the uncomfortably brightly-lit office. One of the other admins walked by and she held out her now-gnarled, locked-up hands. "Help," she pleaded again, fingers twitching like dead bugs and eyes trying hard to focus on something that was more than 18 inches away.

"What the heck happened to you, gurrrl?" the other admin asked.

"I have been working on this project for Departments A and B for three months. I... can't type anymore." She looked down at her keyboard; it seemed to be mocking her. "And I wore a few letters off of my keyboard."

"Well, send me a link to a new keyboard you like and I'll order it. And just... stop working on that project for today."

She picked out a split, ergonomic style keyboard from a brand she'd never heard of, but it looked like it would fit the bill (and the IT department's budget). "Hey $fellowadmin, This one should do the trick, thanks" she slapped into an email with the link, hit send, and tried to rest her hands while she picked out some MVA sessions to watch.

Monday came around and the new keyboard's package was already on her desk. cmdlette's hands were still aching, but she managed to crack the box open and set up what would soon be her best friend in the office. She rested her fingers on what she considered the real home row, AWEFJOP', and immediately felt her hands sink into the keys, relieved. Ticka... tick... tack... ticka... tack rattled off painlessly. With catlike grace, cmdlette gently nudged the old keyboard off her desk into the trash bin. For the next three days everyone who walked by heard nothing but speedy ticka-tack-tack-ticka-tack-tick-ticka-tack until a loud, "Woo! Done!" echoed its way down the hall on Thursday before lunch.

When the project started, cmdlette thought she was overqualified for the task. While that was true--she was definitely overqualified--she happened to be woefully under-equipped for so much typing. Shortly after the project was finished thanks mostly to the new keyboard, her hands went back to normal and she hasn't had a hand lockup since. The ergonomic keyboard was a game-changer, and cmdlette and the typers on the ends of her hands were able to comfortably type out a demand for higher pay for doing "not really my job" at her next annual review. The keyboard is still cranking out words under her fingertips to this day, and our heroine got the raise she wanted.

What advice do you have for people entering the IT field today?

Ask questions and hone your Google-Fu. And don't be intimidated by people with more experience than you have. They were new to the field once, too.

Do you have any other advice or a message for your fellow SpiceHeads?

Be kind to each other because we all experience things differently. We also all have different environments, so don't get frustrated when the fix you suggested because it worked for you doesn't work for someone else.

What color is your toothbrush?

Bamboo with white bristles because I'm an eco-freako.

Creamy or crunchy peanut butter?

Creamy. People who genuinely like crunchy peanut butter don't love themselves as wholly as they should.

What is your favorite color?

It's a tie between antique pink and dandelion yellow. Except dandelion yellow is my #1 favorite when I can insist on pronouncing it "dan-delly-un."

What are your favorite hobbies?

Reading is probably my absolute favorite. I like scifi and dystopian fiction primarily, but when I want light reading I opt for more humorous novels written by women. I also like to watch scifi shows and play World of Warcraft, sometimes at the same time. I play healers almost exclusively and the only things that can kill me are elevators and fall damage (just ask Brian3647). I also bake and cook for fun, but it's less healthy to eat 36 cupcakes than it is to have like 36 healers... I think.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the road crossed it first, and that hen takes crap from no road or fox.

What is your favorite movie or book?

I have many favorite books, but Consider Phlebas and The End of Eternity are two that I will recommend and reference constantly; I also enjoyed and will recommend the MaddAddam trilogy for people who aren't fond of sleeping well for weeks at a time. As far as movies go, I suppose Elvira: Mistress of the Dark is up there, as is Alice (Něco z Alenky).

What is your favorite fictional universe, and why?

Stargate, because it doesn't always downplay the dangers of exploration (and because Teal'c is dreamy).

Who asks you for IT assistance the most outside of work?

One of my sisters-in-law, who could put dents in a Sherman tank if it had a laptop's keyboard attached to it and had the audacity to not work for all of five seconds.

If you were a superhero (or supervillain) what would your super power be?

The power to summon an army of armadillos (the Armydill, I would call it) to do my bidding.

Do you listen to music while you work or do you prefer silence? If you do, then what Genre keeps you going?

I generally like to work with music playing. Industrial, darkwave, pretty much anything heavy, dark, and weird will keep me going. I keep Skinny Puppy, Das Ich, and Turmion Kätilöt in constant rotation, with VNV Nation, FKA twigs, 3Teeth, and Seabound sprinkled in for variety.

What was your first computer equipment?

It was a Windows 95 box that I got as a hand-me-down when I was about 6 or 7.

What kind of personal computer equipment do you use?

Assuming work equipment doesn't count as personal, I have a mini-ITX Ryzen 5 build I put into a shiny RVZ03-ARGB case for gaming, as well as a Surface Pro 4 I won in a Spiceworks webby in 2017. I also have various ancient laptops and tablets I haven't brought myself to part with yet.

If IT was Thanos-snapped and you had to choose a different career path, what would it be?

I don't have any idea what that means, but I'd probably be an interior designer or start an independent coffee shop and cocktail bar.

How do you usually dress for work?

I have a closet full of dresses, cardigans, leggings, and combat boots. I have to kick misbehaving computers' and printers' butts and I prefer to look as pretty as possible while doing it.

Do you do any volunteer work? If so, where do you volunteer and what do you do?

I'm on the board of directors for my county's historical society. I've updated a few documents for them and redesigned their membership cards. They've also asked me to build them a website once everyone realized they hated trying to use WordPress (score!!), so I'll be doing that soon.

Who/what is your favorite video game character?

The original DOOM marine takes the first place trophy for his efficient dispatching of demons and his devilishly good looks for just being a few tan pixels. In second place is the Night Elf druid I've played since vanilla WoW because she introduced me to my husband.

Do you even lift, bro? What do you do to keep yourself physically fit?

I do kettle bell workouts when the mood takes me--currently working with 35 and 53lb bells hoping to work up to over 100lbs eventually. If it's nice out I'll take one of my bikes out for a ride, and if that doesn't sound good I'll take a walk.

How do you wind down after a hard day's work?

I like to kick off my boots, pour a glass of French red wine, and sit down to an episode of a favorite show.

What's something non-techy you do that gets a "Wow, I could never do that" response from most people?

I cut my own hair--I have what I call "Generic Scifi Haircut™" and it's easy business to cut and style. (To get an idea, put the hairstyles of Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg, Josephus Miller, and Naomi Nagata in a blender with "fiery red" dye.)

_____And there you have it. The complete transcript of the interrogation. Feel free to dig deeper than we did and ask additional questions in the comments below.

Tune in next time as we delve into the psyche of another subject.... or, if you think you can stand the heat, you can volunteer for your own interrogation. Write to news@spiceworks.com with the subject line "IT Interrogation" (or alternatively "Willing Victim"). Be sure to include your username so that we know who to "invite" to come with us.

Fun read. A few things sort of came out of "left field" (whatever that means) so ... it kept my interest. O'd even say I read it all the way through on the first visit... if you don't include that pesky work thing interupting me and forcing be to another tab/window for a bit...

I'm upset how easy Suzanne went on you, almost no torturing involved at all!

Also Screw those Shattrath Elevators, amirite?

Shattrath elevators only killed me once and it was on an alt that didn't have flying yet. Pretty sure it was my doofy male draino DK who's dressed in all pink.

I die to the SSC elevator every time I take a new class through for the T5 set, I've died to the elevator in the Blackrock raid every time but once running on my druids (each of which have moonkin form and flap, derp), died to the elevator in Vault of the Wardens a couple times in Legion... Put an elevator literally anywhere and it's likely to give me a repair bill.

My guild knows now that if I burst out in a string of expletives on Discord that their very competent healer took elevator damage.

This was a delight to read! You definitely have a way with words in such a way that I feel like I have gotten to know you without ever having met you.

I remember having so many roles that were Sysadmin without the title. That lasted a long time and certainly shouldn't deter anyone from working in the field and working on their goals. Now, my title is more meaningless than ever and may even change in the next year or so, therefore outside of my organization I go by the old classic "Systems Engineer". :D

I'm upset how easy Suzanne went on you, almost no torturing involved at all!

Also Screw those Shattrath Elevators, amirite?

Shattrath elevators only killed me once and it was on an alt that didn't have flying yet. Pretty sure it was my doofy male draino DK who's dressed in all pink.

I die to the SSC elevator every time I take a new class through for the T5 set, I've died to the elevator in the Blackrock raid every time but once running on my druids (each of which have moonkin form and flap, derp), died to the elevator in Vault of the Wardens a couple times in Legion... Put an elevator literally anywhere and it's likely to give me a repair bill.

My guild knows now that if I burst out in a string of expletives on Discord that their very competent healer took elevator damage.

They should just dedicate a person to making sure you always have featherfall. This is why I liked playing as a paladin, If I'm doing something stupid, I can always bubble my way out of it lol. I miss the old DI though, sacrificing myself to save a healer was fun.

Great read! Even after our protagonist Cmdlette received her new keyboard and finished the hugely daunting task, her avatar still needs charging... Go get some more coffee. :D

Why does my avatar need to change? dimforest says I look pretty similar to it.

ChaRge, not change. Go get some coffee :P

It could be worse: my boss left her laptop at home today (she lives an hour away from the office) and proceeded to drop her venti iced latte all over the floor. So yeah: keep those batteries charged! ::sips his Kirkland brand::