I’m going with narcoleptic dog. But I’m guessing he is just a street dog in some backwards fuckin country where they have 6 inches of standing water in their alleys. He growls because some fuckin punk kids who don’t have a roof on their house but somehow have a camera are filming him to pass the time on their horrible lives. All he is trying to do is sleep on his feet because he has a shit life and just wants some fuckin rest.

I love the piggy, and it’s tough to pick against it. But I will because:

1. It lives a difficult life, but has fought through it and learned to thrive. Then again, it’s difficult to feel bad for an animal that would be ham, bacon, pork belly, chitterlings, scrapple, spicy rinds and right now if it weren’t a source of wonderment because of its disability.
2. Piggy’s already in exile. It’s on a farm in China. =S=
3. That dog is either a corgi or something mindful of a corgi, and I BY GOD am a red-blooded member of the Uproxx community.