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Hey NRA Attendees

Sorry I couldn’t be there this year, but I’m thinking maybe while you’re all in Pittsburgh, you could maybe do something about their ninja problem. You know, as a public service.

In the latest event, a sword-wielding ninja smashed 11 cars in South Union Township, PA. and tried to stab a man who confronted him, say police. Santino Guzzo said he heard glass breaking, found the ninja hiding in a yard, and was cut in the hand during the ensuing ninja escape.

“He was like a gazelle that just got attacked by a lion,” Guzzo told the Pittsburgh Trib. “He got up and fell, and got up and fell. Then he jumped off a cliff.”

Guzzo reported that he “did not move with the grace typically associated with a ninja” and that he therefore “will not live in fear of the ninja’s return.”

Not only would you be doing a great service to the people of Pittsburgh, but you’d be culling the herd of the weakest and most clumsy ninjas. Really, you’re just helping ensure they are at their best before the inevitable epic battle with the pirates.

(h/t Instpundit – you know, the first place you saw this story because he always has it first.)