At risk of being possibly intentionally offensive, I submit to you this theory: lesbians should not be allowed to adopt. It is simply not mentally healthy for their children. Can you imagine the difficulty of trying to figure out two different Mother's Day gifts, in the same year? Year to year variation is bad enough, but on the same day, just not plausible. You have to figure out how to make the gifts separate but equal, which if we can draw on the lessons of history, doesn't work. My point is this: historical discrimination against black people proves that we must discriminate against lesbians.

In contrast, gay parents are just fine, since if you can sneak into the store at age 8 to buy one dad a 6-pack for Father's Day, you can do the same for a second dad.

P.S. Gay people are not at all like golf clubs, though I'm sure Freud would love your analogies, Mr. I'm Only Rich Because My Dad Gave Me a Ton of Money and a Name.