CONSIDER THE LILIES:
"Yet, the Great Ocean hath no tone of power/
Mightier to reach the Soul, in thought's hushed hour,/
Than yours, ye Lilies! Chosen thus and graced!"
- Felicia D. Hemans

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Stress and Me

Stress and I are like oil and water, we don't mix well. I like to know what is going to happen ahead of time so I psych myself up for it and make contingency plans for possible things that may go wrong.

Worry and I are old companions who spend a lot of time together. My anxiety barometer quickly rises in response to a perceived threat and my nerves get on the edge, prompting my civility and reasonableness to take a corresponding plunge.

I don't like being a worry-wart. I don't like what pressure does to my sense of peace and my centeredness. I don't like my sense of courtesy going out the window. I don't like being busy all the time, revved high, and I hate not spending any quality time with God throughout the week.

I think I have to readjust my priorities. I naturally put school first, but maybe I should write some other things in stone on my schedule. Like pick a time in the day to spend with God, pick half an hour to get some brisk walking in during my busy day, and find some kind of social outlet. Right now I have next to nothing, because my old friends are busy with motherhood. Thankfully I have a study buddy at school, but most of what we do is school related. Now that I don't have Facebook I can't maintain the illusion of being connected to my friends' lives, despite never seeing them.

Another thing is, it would be good to help out more around the family home. Like make dinner at least once a week and do a couple of loads of laundry or some cleaning. If it weren't for my mother cooking every day and cleaning my clothes, I would be a lot busier and also less nourished and less tidy-looking. But I should be doing more to help out than I do.

I can't understand the people who fit an amazing amount of accomplishments in one 24 hour day and are also well-rested. I don't understand how my class-mates can fit in caring for their kids and maintaining their homes on top of their courseload, which is higher than mine right now. I don't comprehend those people who thrive on busyness and love being out every night of the week.

As for me, I am happy to stay home on the weekends and watch a movie or read a good book or do some baking or crocheting... that is relaxing and some movies and books can even be cathartic. Yeah I do lead quite the charmed single life! But then a relationship would just be another stresser, even if it was the good kind of stress!

Andrew thanks for the suggestion about these stress-busters and for the link to these books. I remember you writing on your blog how much you appreciate Kierkegaard's writings and about sickness unto death. I think I could benefit from meditation, more prayer, and maybe even Christian Yoga.

We do have some experiences in common, and I appreciate you passing on the wisdom you have gained and the things that have helped you. And you seem to be farther up the path on the journey to healing and wholeness. I hope you and your family are doing well... I think you must be soon adding another member, but I don't remember the due date. :)

Beauty for Ashes

Some days life isn't easy, but to me there is always a rose amongst the thorns. Taking time to be grateful can be tough, but there are so many blessings all around if you have but eyes to see them. Listen to the rain, or feel the wind against your face, or the sun with its radiant warmth on an autumn afternoon. It is easy to see all the problems and the worries come creeping in so quickly like so many weeds in your garden... It is good to know the Gardener and have him at work. He gives you beauty for ashes, and the oil of gladness in place of your mourning. Trust him and you will begin to bear fruit as you welcome the rain and the sunlight and the Gardener's gentle nail-scarred hands.