Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Liam's 3rd Birthday

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Liam's 3rd and golden birthday was back on January 3rd. Thank you to everyone who thought of him, sent birthday wishes, and sent cards. The days leading up to his birthday are always a little stressful. Since our time in San Francisco, before the fetal surgery and his birth and passing, was over New Years, I have yet to feel anything remotely close to joyous when we enter the new year. Maybe one day we will do a little bit more for his birthday. One day maybe we will even get a cake and celebrate it like we will for Max's birthdays, but for now, mellow is okay with me. We look at his pictures, we speak of him, and talk about our time with him. I don't think of San Francisco as much as I once did but on occasion, especially around his birthday, I still think about it and about our hopes and dreams we had during our time there. sometimes I wish I could separate the two, but its hard when some of my greatest memories with Liam are in the same place that brought me so much sadness.

Liam,
We miss you so much and wish you could be here. Your little brother Max is with us now and we are finally able to use all your baby things that you were never able to. It's very bittersweet. I look at your pictures and I think Max looks a lot like you. We are so happy he his here with us, but we will always wonder about the type of baby you would have been and miss being able to see you grow up. It's hard to believe its been 3 years already. Happy 3rd birthday in heaven little buddy. Love you forever. Mom﻿﻿﻿

Made by Keleen- Addison's mom.

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On January 4th a dear blm friend of mine, Claudia, finally got her rainbow take home baby. Or in her case, babies. Claudia lost her twin boys a few days after we lost Liam back in 2011. She later lost 2 more boys. Like me, she ended up getting a gestational carrier. She was able to transfer 2 embryos to her carrier, that both took, and now, 9 months later on January 4th, has 2 beautiful baby boys in her arms. Claudia also started taking domperidone like me and is working on being able to breastfeed her babies as well. It has been a long road for her and her husband, but I am so happy she finally has her babies to love on. Forever missing, Benedetto, Vincenzo, Gabriele, and Santino.

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Evelynn- My Baby Girl 4/22/2012 - 4/24/2012

About Me

My husband and I got married on 10/18/2008. After trying for about 2 years we were finally pregnant with a baby boy. At 20 weeks gestation he was diagnosed with a severe case of Spina Bifida, Unfortunately after having fetal surgery on 1/03/11, at 26 weeks gestation, our son Liam passed away.
Then, my beloved rainbow baby Evelynn was born on 4/22/2012 at 36 weeks and 2 days, just 6 days before my scheduled c-section date. My uterus had ruptured leaving her brain dead. She died a day and a half later. I am forever heartbroken to have lost not one, but now two, of my beautiful babies.
Luckily, we were able to find an amazing gestational carrier to help us bring home a healthy baby. Our son Maximilian was born on 9/26/2013. We can't thank Jessica enough for doing this for us.
Then, after learning I have diminished ovarian reserve and learning that using another carrier with my eggs is not a favorable option, we decided to adopt and signed on with an adoption agency at the beginning of 2015. Our birthmom picked our profile a few months later and on August 3, 2015 Ruby Evelynn was born.