“I don’t want to be (on the Internet), but I have to be there and it’s never going away, and that’s a scary thought,” she said.

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va., Oct. 25 (UPI) — A U.S. woman filmed in a series of pornographic movies as a child says she is seeking restitution from anyone convicted of possessing them.

The 20-year-old woman, whose real name is a closely guarded secret, went by Misty in the movies and now is known as Amy. She has written to a Virginia court in the case of Raymond Highsmith of Virginia Beach, Va., who was convicted of downloading the videos, seeking financial restitution to help in her recovery, The (Norfolk) Virginian-Pilot reported Sunday.

In a letter to several courts, Amy says the child abuse, filmed by her uncle when she was 8, resulted in physical, psychiatric and psychological scars, and she reportedly is seeking compensation for occupational therapy, transportation and other losses that might result from the crimes committed against her.

The Virginian-Pilot said Amy’s letter indicates she became aware when she was 17 that videos of her abuse had been come Internet child porn “classics,” and now lives in fear that her secret will be discovered by her friends.

“I don’t want to be (on the Internet), but I have to be there and it’s never going away, and that’s a scary thought,” she said.