Thoughts on Writing, Yoga and Life

Telemarketing Text Messages

I’ve been in Delhi for almost two months now, and one of the things that fascinates me the most is the barrage of unsolicited marketing text messages I receive almost daily.

I have been offered lucrative “PLOTS” of all kinds in all sorts of places at all types of prices. I get an offer for a full body massage at Moksha Spa almost everyday, and my own cell phone company sends me at least five absolutely unnecessary text messages a week (the latest was about taking my child under five to get polio drops).

Below I’ve included some of the more interesting ones I’ve received since I’ve been here:

I have not yet been able to figure out what exactly this is selling. Refreshment? Love? Ambipur? Thailand? Or is it something else altogether?? I feel like I’m supposed to be reading between the lines here and am failing miserably. I suppose the next time I feel the need to refresh anything I’ll give them a ring…

What is a FLAT ‘n’ REST? Also love the ABHI NAHI TO KABHI NAHI – basically if I don’t act now I’ll lose this opportunity forever. What if a FLAT ‘n’ REST is going to make my wildest dreams come true?

MULTIPLEX must be a pretty great selling feature. Also I have a cousin in Dwarka and according to her, location would NOT be a selling point here (no offence to anyone in Dwarka)…

Ummm…thanks for the pep talk? I guess if 28 nations swear by it, why not me?

Who is Kumari? And what did we talk about? Was I happy? These are questions that only God can answer.

Well if it’s a Steal Deal I might as well buy! That is if I can figure out what they are selling…my guess is more FLATS because they refer to “possesson”

And now for my personal favourite:

Umm, yeah. I didn’t know this but am relieved to know that all it takes is a missed call to solve the problem. Gotta love modern medecine: bald men and those with thyroid disorders rejoice: if you’ve got a mobile telephone you are cured!

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4 Responses

gotta love it – especially with the english that doesn’t make sense. I’ve always wondered the same about those ‘rap’ verses they’ll put in indian music…It always seems as if it’s randomly put in to appear cool and not actually make sense. At least from the tamil songs I’ve heard. This seems to be the case here too lol.

Haha, yes you are right, though I suspect the English makes more sense to someone who is used to it. I’m not, so I notice these little things. I’m curious about the return on this type of marketing – do people actually respond to these things? Are there those that sit there and wait for a great over to come their way via SMS? Are they happy with the results?

Haha Rajib, I’m sure it will. I get lots of ones already where I don’t bat an eyelid before I hit delete. These were ones that made me scratch my head and/or laugh. It’s the most entertaining part of being back here 🙂 Thanks for reading!