‘Jersey Shore' episode 7: Meatball mashup

Snooki: Just a girl enjoying the resort town’s amenities.
(MTV)
The seventh episode of the season (a.ka. “When Snooki Wrecks a Car”) dawns as the “Jersey Shore” crew heads to the resort town of Riccione to take in the view. But problems arise when Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Deena Cortese are only interested in taking in each other’s tongues.

Riccione appears to be charming and upper crust, so naturally Snooki and Deena — the aptly-named “Team Meatball” — immediately visit the bar, imbibe too much, shriek loudly about female genitalia, spend hundreds of dollars on a drunken shopping spree and finally come a little too close to flashing their own genitalia at a club in the middle of the afternoon.

God bless America.

“We’ve said this before,”comments a slightly annoyed Sammi “Sweatheart” Giancola to the others. ”They’re going to be abducted, and we don’t want to deal with it.”

The smashed duo somehow makes it through dinner and out to the club with the rest of the roommates, but Deena soon commits what is perhaps the only existing household etiquette faux pas by exposing her unclothed crotch for the entire world to see.

”The nipple flap is one thing at the club,” says a flabbergasted Jenni ”Joww” Farley in a docu-style interview. “But you never forget your [expletive] underwear.”

The last straw comes when the meatballs start making out in the club, in the cab home and in a bed at the hotel. The next day, it’s all any of the roommates can talk about; the guys wonder if it means Snooki cheated on her long-distance boyfriend, and the girls are just generally grossed out by the marathon meatball make-out. For their part, Snooki and Deena wake up late in the afternoon and remember nothing.

Suddenly, it’s back to Florence, where the roommates gather to hear Snooki confess her dalliance with Deena to her boyfriend, Jionni, over the phone. It’s a surprise to everyone when her normally protective boy essentially shrugs it off.

Still, the ladies of Team Meatball just can’t seem to kick their obnoxious tendencies, whether it’s cackling together in club corners or hiding under trash cans at work. Soon we find Deena and Snooki behind the wheel of a car. And then a drivers licence-less, insurance-less Snooki rear-ends someone, who is carted away in a neck brace by paramedics. Snooki, on the other hand, is thrown into the back of a police car.

Cliffhanger! What will happen to Team Meatball? How do you say “jail time” in Italian? Tell us what you think will transpire next in the comments below and by using #Snookinalysis on Twitter.

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Comments our editors find particularly useful or relevant are displayed in Top Comments, as are comments by users with these badges: . Replies to those posts appear here, as well as posts by staff writers.