Thursday, July 5, 2012

Stephanie's bid to make it outside of Lazy Town took a dark turn indeed.

As a big fan of female characters in fighting games, you'd think a fighting game with only female characters would be right up my alley. I mean, if we could just put some breasts on DOA's Zack and Bayman, instead of writing this, I'd be over there and playing that shit, right?

No. Turns out most of the ladies only fighting games are either too Japanese, too porn or more likely too terrible for me to like. True, most of anything is terrible(or Japanese), but when it's something like this that I've actively tried to pursue, I tend to look a little deeper than that.

I mean, I don't think it's the concept. Rumble Roses is a fine game. I guess it's something about appealing to demographics. So I will dedicate this month to the most notable...or most obscure fighting games featuring women centric casts.

A fighting game tends to try and have different characters for different tastes. In your core Street Fighter ripoff you'd find a Karateka, a swift female, a brash blond guy etc. However, when only working with the fair gender, you want to settle either in base male appeal(by using those things that stick out of females chests to arouse and bring attention to the product) or base female appeal(by having different and colorful designs that appeal to women's cerebraniums). Today's study subject tried to land somewhere in the first camp, only to become terrible in the process.

Seifuku Desentsu Pretty Fighter is a Japan only release for the Super NES. While I don't have the lowdown on the deep plot, I'm pretty sure it involves a fighting tournament among whores. No, really. That's what Seifuku means, right? Hakufu? Oh, damn!

The game features a what's what of what are considered sexy professions in Japan, including nurse, flight attendant , geisha and rich bitch. They even threw in a schoolgirl as a final boss.

You WISH this was the Sailor Moon fighting game

Now, years ago, when I got this game, I did not find it sexy. I mean, sure, everyone's legs are exposed, so what? Then it dawned on me. This slop mess actually thinks it's sexy. You have provocative posturing and revealing clothes...

Upskirts...

spanking...

flying butt presses

whatever this is...

kissing

banana eating...

However, this game is mistaken about how sexy it is. I mean, even if I could look past the fact that it plays terrible, or that the designs are terribly pedestrian. It's all in the presentation.

Oh, the gameplay, you say? It's a barebones game that I would expect to precede Street Fighter 2, not follow after it. That's about it.

See, somewhere along the line, you have to choose whether you want to be either Melty Blood or Strip Fighter. But I guess this game kinda straddled the line, fell slightly to the exploitative side, forgot the gameplay, and went with it anyway. Go home, Seifuku Desetsu. Get some gameplay or get some bigger tits.

I guess I shouldn't be too harsh with it. It's just one of the many attempts at establishing a fighting fame franchises that ended after just one try. After all, this is just a group of cheap, cobbled together sprites, right? What's that? Anime? What? Sequel for Playstation you say? I will have to comeback to this later.

One of this guys is asking you to be prepared for a coup . The other is asking you to be prepared to put hair on your horns . Names are fun....

What is this?

This is the Bestgeekever, the finest Puerto Rican blogspot site about all things Sci-fi, Fantasy, videogames and more. Ruled over with an iron fist, the BGE stands proudly with over half a decade of words about stuff.