Wearing an olive drab but feeling somehow inside opalescentWonder how I'm managing to smile oh when I can't even pay my rentMaybe it's because I've finally found my little tulip, my Norge dearFunny how in spite of all my woes life can appear rosy and clear

And I'm dizzy from her kissso vertiginous lost in lysergic bliss

Love the way you wear your curly hair sanguine and spiraling, tied in a bunLove the way it falls about your face mercurially gilded by the sunIf we were a pair of jigsaw puzzle pieces, we would connect so perfectlyCreating a still photo of a scene from the Phantom of Liberty

Climb The Ladder-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On our trip to England I noticed something obscenePeople still actually give a shit about the QueenThough London girls aren't snobs at all and Brighton's lovely in the fallLeft alone to drive ourselves on the opposite sideMan it was a miracle that nobody diedHanging out with Steven, Drew, Theo, Paul and Sorrel tooEating at Welcome Breaks daily,We danced in Leeds with Brit Pop Haley

Performing with the Apples and then crashing at the WrightsBitching because Steven booked us on such early flightsAlways in a foggy haze, because we hadn't slept for daysEvery single one of our London cabbies playedThe most truly repellent techno music ever madeBut they'll drop you without hesitation if you try changing the station

Up to our necks in crisps and litterin the van we dubbed the Gary Glitter

* Welcome Break is the name of a company that operates alongside the British Motorway System. The ideal place for gas, greasy fries and coffee.

* Brit Pop was Britain's main music scene from the early to the mid-90s. It spawned the Blur-Oasis rivalry, as a desperate attempt to (a) sell records, and (b) pretend those bands were as important as the Beatles and the Stones.

* There are so many Haleys around that it is pretty tricky to decide what this refers to. Obviously, the one that springs to mind is Bill Haley, who is considered to be the first popular musician to bring African American music to a white audience. It could also be a reference to the comet Halley (often mispronounced “Haley”), as the Britpop scene was both very shiny and utterly disposable, but there is a good chance it'll be back in 75 years.

* The Apples In Stereo is part of the nebulous (and incestuous) Elephant 6 Recording Company. But of Montreal's first tour of Britain was actually opening for Marshmallow Coast (yet another Elephant 6 band).

* Gary Glitter is a British glam rock singer. Even if he was incredibly successful in the early 70s, he will probably be reminded as a child abuser who was sentenced to jail in Britain and Thailand.

Climb The Ladder-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You hit me so hard like a Wong Kar Wai beginningI'm exploding in smiles my equilibrium is spinning

* Wong Kar-Wai is a Chinese-born director from Hong Kong. His style is mainly non-linear, chaotic and spontaneous. His most famous movies include 2000's In The Mood For Love and 1997's Happy Together which was rewarded in the Best Director category in Cannes the same year.

* Troy now is a city in Turkey, but it lives on as the background of numerous Greek mythological tales, such as the Trojan War from Homer's Iliad.

* Erebus is one of the early Greek gods - he was the son of Khaos and represented the darkness, or, in later tales, the Underworld.

Baby, your magic is workingI lose control of myself whenever you are near meI feel myself changingFrom a guy too cynical for loveInto a blushing romanticOh, honey, I'd swim across the AtlanticJust to be near to youI'm hopping like a kangaroo

Baby, your magic is workingAll of my friends think I'm madBecause I talk of nothing but you, girlHow you've really changed meFor a guy thought too cynical for loveYou've proven everyone wrongAnywhere with you, girl, is where I belongEverything is beautiful and you are the reason

Lately I've been so happyJust holding you and gazing into your eyesLike in a movieYou are a starI mean, a starletListen, the night we met I fell in love with youWho'd have guessed, who'd have guessed?I'm in love, I'm in love!

How you've really changed meFrom a guy thought too cynical for loveSuddenly I feel as light as a butterflyAnd wanting to give love another tryEverything is beautiful and you are the reason

Baby, your magic is workingMy mirror's reflection is youLooking coquet and smirkingNow your magic is working

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Climb the Ladder

When I'm caught in a net and I haven't a clueAll I've got to do is climb the ladder to youClimb the ladder

When there are ghosts in my coat and everything is askewAll I've got to do is climb the ladder to youClimb the ladder to you

All of these faces are crowding around meWith mouths open wide to devourBut they have no impact, no, I do not cowerKnowing I'm safe in your tower

When my pencil tip's broken and my brain is tooAll I've got to do is climb the ladder to youClimb the ladder

When I feel like an oar in a sunken canoeAll I've got to do is climb the ladder to youClimb the ladder to you

All of these faces are crowding around meLike grey paint caked on a flowerBut they have no impact, no value, no powerKnowing I'm safe in your tower

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------How Lester Lost His Wife

First there was the "Fable of the Bull"Told by the picadorThen an Orwellian raping of a virgin apple coreAn apple core, an apple core, an apple core, an apple core,An apple

I had to don a disguise to see her slinking downThe snaking hallways to her chamberBut I wasn't prepared to encounter the visionOf she and it engaged in defiling of the sacredIn an instant her face became so plaintiveAnd I watched as she transformedInto the Black Amaranth

The next morning I espiedIn a window, framed in brassThe story of her condemnationPortrayed in the stained glassIn the stained glass, in the stained glass, in the stained glassIn the stained glass, in the stained glass

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Spike the Senses

Every second of every day I let me fancy playAnd if the feeling strikes meI deliquesce into the sky without waving goodbyeWhile contemplating a fractured pale cathedral wallDeath can't touch me at allLet its rapacious fingers with venomous stingers tryI'd like to see it try

Try to find a way to spike the sensesUntil everything goes white

I had a vision of vinyl spiders in a cageAnd now I avoid the stageBecause though it was a trifle I still can't stifleThe fear that they might just reappear

Climbing, climbing, climbing, never fallingIf it was up to me I'd freak the cloudsLet them fall and grip to the seaI think the chemicals have doneSome evil thing to me

I used to think it black while at my country seatNow I'm peaking in so many ways, the gloom is in retreatYes, the dark epoch is over, I've found my EfeblumThen passed Ernst's mausoleum defended by a rookWho shot a look so virulent it pierced me like a hookThe palaver of Solipsists exploding in my skull

Yeah, and we both despise all of the academic swineWho made the author of "Discus Ulysses" benign

So what if Wednesday finds usWearing rabies parachutesFoaming like the melodies of sea foam fairy flutes?The atmosphere is viscous, we're sticking to the brine

When the lanterns fill with finchesSo begins the brawlBecause their brains are like porcupinesAnd mine's a paper ballI know they don't understand, they don't get us at allTheir moss mangles polyanthusAnd mine's a paper ball

* An Efeblum is, in Kevin's words, "is a fairy-like creature who is employed by the Efeneties (loving spirits) to place bells inside people's hearts. When a person has a bell in their heart they are able to create works of art, fall in love and feel at peace with the world." The Efeblum made its first appearance in "Coquelicot Asleep in the Poppies: A Variety of Whimsical Verse."

* Though Ernst is a surprisingly very common name, the Booty Patrol assumes that this is about Max Ernst. He was a surrealist German Artist (capital A, he was a sculptor and a painter and a poet). He doesn't have a mausoleum per sé, but his ashes are in le Cimetière du Père Lachaise, in Paris.

* Possibly a fictional book, or "Discuss Ulysses" as a literary subject.