Power2charm introduces an interactive FAQ thread through which TWers quiz him on being fired from his previous job, his between-job activities, and his future career prospects. In addition, things go horribly wrong for Diamond_Dave after he decides to give p2c a lesson in board etiquette, and there are unsolicited disclosures from melody's childhood.

power2charm: This is my first ever FAQ so please be kind in your criticism. One thing I've learned over the years of www surfing is that if I am inclined to enter a FAQ it is because I am completely befuddled, and so the first question I hope is addressed in the FAQ is "What the fuck is going on here???".

Therefore, let us begin:

What the fuck is going on here???

I got fired a week ago, igniting a complete re-evaluation of my reason for being.

Why were you fired?

I believe the official reason from my employer was "inappropriate communications". That means I was recalcitrant, uppity and smarty-mouthed to my bosses until they finally decided I was no longer worth the trouble.

Ha, ha! What are you gonna do now?

I am going to try to find another job, one where I am not driven to recalcitrance.

What did you do for a job again?

I worked for a lawfirm as a paralegal in the Trusts & Estates department. My job mainly involved preparing estate and income tax returns that estates must file to be settled and preparing accountings for filing with the probate court. There was a lot of other crap involved, too.

That sounds boring. How did you end up with such a dull career?

I needed a job.

So now are you going to come begging us for money like Monkeyboy?

No, I've observed that TW's generosity would not buy a lousy YooHoo for a fellow on the skids. My employers told me that they would not challenge my unemployment claim, so that will give me six months of income, and my cash savings is such that I could maintain my current lifestyle for six months more.

If you hated your job so much, why didn't you just quit?

That would have been the brave thing to do. The problem was that this job paid well and was not at all demanding of my time or brain cells. This might seem an ideal situation, and if I had some good hobbies it might have been workable. But as a bachelor without a mortgage or a real engrossing hobby, my dissatisfaction with being bossed around by a bunch of attorneys grated on me and depressed me. A career change into public accounting (the subject of my university degree) would have entailed a 40-50% pay cut, and Connecticut is an expensive place to live. It was impossible for me to quit - I was addicted to the money.

But what I could and did do was torpedo my job by behaving like an angry goon. It was easy to do - I just transferred my unhappiness over my little job trap to the folks who spit out the bi-weekly pay checks. And that's what happened.

Sounds pathetic, p2c. Aren't you too old to be acting this way?

I don't believe one is ever too old to be dissatisfied or to want more for oneself. As a matter of character, I would like to have shown myself to have a better one by resigning honorably. But that's not a question of age, really.

Why are you fucking around on TW when you should be out looking for a job?

Yes, well. I'm not sure what I want to do with myself. FYI, I do have an interview lined up with a firm in NYC this coming Monday doing the very same work I've been at for six years. The recruiter who got me that interview says there are two other positions he's working on for me, too.

I'm reading this book called "Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow", and I didn't have to get very far to see that I should absolutely *not* investigate further lawfirm work. My inquiries about traditional accounting positions haven't yielded anything yet, and really, I don't think that I'd dig that work once I got the hang of it.

p2c, you must really think you are fascinating to ramble on about your lame life here on a website devoted to the genius of David Bowie , but let's say you could do what you loved - what job would you have?

I have never had a burning desire for any particular career. My attention wanders too much. Ideally I would like to do many things. Being tied down to one career is not appealing to me. That said, right now I think it would be awesome to be a session steel guitarist, to write for a food or travel magazine, to own my own dessert shop with a country & western theme, to be chef in a cool resort area, either a ski lodge or in the Caribbean, for instance. Other things, too. I wouldn't even mind accounting, as long as the possibility existed that I could become the department boss someday. I really don't like being bossed around. It bugs me. Always has.

I don't have any more questions for you - I was only being polite to have asked this many. What if someone else wants to post questions or nonsense here - will you answer them?

I just might.

Dara: [Is this your mid youth crisis?]:

OK, I'll try to be gentle. I'm aware from personal experience that firings, even from jobs you hate, are stressful, and unemployment even more so.

In reply to:

I got fired a week ago, igniting a complete re-evaluation of my reason for being.

This always happens. Every project I've ever worked on that has been canned, I spend at least a week listening to former co-workers telling me how they're re-evaluating, and have decided to write that novel, become that Himalayan travel guide, or open that restaurant. From personal memory, only one of the several hundred or so actually did.

In reply to:

I believe the official reason from my employer was "inappropriate communications". That means I was recalcitrant,

Surly not? They didn't just find out you were on TW all day protecting your position as Mr. TW?

In reply to:

I have never had a burning desire for any particular career.

This, I can relate to. So can most people, I imagine, even if few come out and admit it. We're supposed to be workcentric and driven - it's downright unpatriotic not to be!

Seriously though, chill. Enjoy the time off. When I look back on periods of unemployment, I never regret that they were too long or that I wasted too much time unproductively or that I'd have more money without them. I only regret that I didn't enjoy them more while I had the time, instead of fretting pointlessly.

I'd saying I was praying for you but you know damn well I'm an atheist. So let's just say I'm thinking of you and wishing you good things.

Slan leat,

Dara

pianocraft: I'm sorry you lost your job p2c. With your experience and qualifications you should have no trouble finding a new job in no time.

Ruskie:

In reply to:

good hobbies

If I know you, and I think I do, I only need to say one word: model trains.

uh, did the elimination of the estate tax have anything to do with you losing your job? maybe? in addition to your recalcification or whatever?

In reply to:

my cash savings is such that I could maintain my current lifestyle for six months more

ok, but don't go hitting the bottle. or the bucket (ice cream)

In reply to:

I needed a job

"so here's one that pays mighty well and isn't particularly stressful"??? shit, i was contemplating today on the first day of my first salaried position that i would be quite content doing temp work the rest of my life. if it paid well, of course

The Shadow:

In reply to:

I was recalcitrant, uppity and smarty-mouthed to my bossesÖ.torpedo my job by behaving like an angry goon

Never. This is so hard to believe!

The job in NYC sounds OK, though the commute to/from Connecticut ten times a week will probably grind your soul to dust. But will it be any different? Wonít you just end up being rebellious there too and end up out on your ear again? In fact, arenít the big city shysters likely to be twice as bossy (or at least twice as demanding) as their country colleagues, or are you expecting it to be all mixed bathrooms and dancing?

In reply to:

Öthat will give me six months of income, and my cash savings is such that I could maintain my current lifestyle for six months moreÖI've always wondered what dogmeat tastes like.

This could be your opportunity to find out.

power2charm: [FAQ me 'til dawn]: Some FAQs from The Shadow! Well, maybe they're just AQs but I'll answer them anyway:

In reply to:

The job in NYC sounds OK, though the commute to/from Connecticut ten times a week will probably grind your soul to dust. But will it be any different? Wonít you just end up being rebellious there too and end up out on your ear again? In fact, arenít the big city shysters likely to be twice as bossy (or at least twice as demanding) as their country colleagues, or are you expecting it to be all mixed bathrooms and dancing?

I'm taking this interview mainly because the recruiter who got it for me is working on two other open positions that I think are better - one is in CT and the other is strictly fiduciary tax work. In order to have at those, I have to play nice and interview with this first firm. I don't think I'll have any interest, but you never know. If I sense Manhattan snootiness from the attorneys, then I'll probably bollocks the interviews and that will be that. "I tried!" I'll tell the recruiter. If I took the position, it would only be short term until I found something better - and this time I *would* be motivated to find something better. The commute itself is reason enough not to take the position with long-term intentions, though if it really paid well I'd contemplate moving to a closer suburb in Westchester to mitigate matters.

I have no idea why I claimed an interest in dog meat, btw. But this is no time for travel to Australia.

The well-wishes in the other posts are nice. Thanks. But I consider this incident a scab that is ripe for picking, so feel free to follow The Shadow's snarky lead.

power2charm [Shocking: p2c double posts!]:

In reply to:

From personal memory, only one of the several hundred or so actually did.

I'd be interested to hear the details of this one person. What was hir endeavor and did s/he succeed?

In reply to:

They didn't just find out you were on TW all day protecting your position as Mr. TW?

If they knew about my surf habits they didn't make an issue of it. This job was cush. I'm humbled to report that I apparently need closer supervision than law firms offer!

In reply to:

I only regret that I didn't enjoy them more while I had the time, instead of fretting pointlessly.

I'm afraid I'm gonna enjoy my way right through my life savings, actually, but I will try to use the time to get thoughtful and lose that unbecoming pear shape we law-firm Eloi get over the years.

Spunkrat: [No Way! Way!]:

In reply to:

If they knew about my surf habits they didn't make an issue of it.

Hmm, and this is from the man who told me:

In reply to:

Here's some good advice for you now that you are thinking in terms of getting ahead in business and are contemplating a new era of personal and professional responsibility.......DON'T POST TO TW FROM WORK!!!!

Bandit: [Unemployment sucks]: Apart from a bit of teaching work and 5 months of work based training in a customer services department I've been unemployed all this year. I have applied for what jobs are available in this area that I feel I have the skills to do but no avail......I need full time work as travel eats up the money when you have to drive up to 40km one way to the bigger towns. So I've been spending my time getting my skills up and doing courses.....23 years as a farmer's wife does not prepare you for when you leave said farmer and try to make a go of it on your own

It seems that if I want to find work I am going to have to move to a bigger town/city.....I'm heading to Sydney this weekend for a 3 week holiday and I'm taking my CV with me.....

Sailor: [Sorry to hear that]: I guess that means that you will be buying less of my stuff. I don't like that idea. If you ever need a letter of recommendation let me know.

Dan Dare: [LifeStyles of the Recalcitrant and Unemployed]: In the last three and a half years, I have been unemployed for a little over one year.

The first time was great! I hadn't had a vacation in many years and so I really enjoyed myself. You definately need to get a few hobbies. I learned how to cook, took up swimming and impersonated young, sexy women in online chatrooms.

The second time was most unwelcome. I hated the job, but was going through a minor bout of depression and hating the job gave me less time to hate myself. When I lost the job, I dedicated all my time to hating myself, surfing porn, and seeing how many times I could masturbate in one day. (5)

Not pretty.

So I finally got a job here at an insurance company, just days before they announced they are moving my department to another state. I'll have this job until, maybe March. Damn Bastards.

Myriada: I think everyone should get fired at least once. It can be such an interesting, life altering experience. Congratulations. You're 35 years old. You've started your life. Don't worry about not knowing exactly what it is you'd like to do. A lot of people are like that. I recall a comedian once saying that the reason adults are always asking little children what they want to be when they grow up is because they are looking for ideas. Just take some time to reflect. I'm sure it will come to you. Then, no matter, how unrealistic it seems, go for it! Just remember the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald (American author) "If you're strong enough, there are no precedents." ... And don't be unnerved by failure. All successful people have met with failure much more often than success. Don't give up hope. Good luck!

Dara: [If Pete you see is buying, mine's a double too]:

In reply to:

What was hir endeavor and did s/he succeed?

He wanted to open an antique furniture shop and he at least succeeded in opening it. Whether it was a long term success or not, I don't know.

Slan leat,

Dara

Diamond_Dave: I have seen other members on these boards get a massive load of crap for posting similar stories that are considered self obsessed.

Get over it and get a new job!

Thousands of ppl get fired every day from their jobs.

Ruskie: [Who ever told you...]:

In reply to:

Get over it and get a new job!

How dare you? Do you have any idea who you're talking about?

Other members post personal stories like this and get a lot of crap for it because, frankly, no one really likes them. On the other hand, this is Mr. TW, a man loved and revered by anyone and everyone who matters in the teenage wildlife community. P2c's 'average american working-man' cult of personality captivates everyone who comes into contact with him, to such an extent even, that people will willingly send him food, money, burned CDs, and used lingerie at his request, without any hesitation! I have no doubt that otherís will back me up in this matter.

P2C, many of your ideal career thingies involved food in some capacity or other-- why don't you shell out the cash to go to some hoity-toity chef school? Then you could do all that stuff, write your own cookbook, get on tv, develop some stupid catchphrase like "boom!" or "zip!" and become stinking rich and open up your own restaurants and create your own line of salad dressings and sauces and then laugh your brains out at how clever you are.

Just a suggestion.

Diamond_Dave: Well, he's obviously talented enough to be king of a has been web site so he should have no porbs getting a job.

But seriously I'm sure P2C is way to smart to be out of a job for too long...he'll be back working before you can say "Bowie, stop playing China Girl live!"

I just think it is not very cool that other members would get roasted beyond control if they posted a similar message. Proves again that there are two sets of rules here :( One for the ppl who join the little high school groups and another for the outsiders who stand on their own.

Marquis: [And punctuate it while you're at it]:

In reply to:

Proves again that there are two sets of rules here :( One for the ppl who join the little high school groups and another for the outsiders who stand on their own.

No, it proves what we've known all along. You can post whatever the fuck you feel like so long as its entertaining enough to read, and unlike HappyfaceLabyslut or whoever else might be posting something similar, p2c can actually string words together in an entertaining manner. Anyone concerned that the minutiae of their days is going unnoticed by the TW community should invest in a fucking manual of style.

And oh my dear sweet Christ will you shut the fuck up about cliques!? I'm trying to hold this season's round of recruitment for my particular high school group, and if you give it away, it will ruin the surprise of excluding people once the final cut is made.

melody: Giving up a great career if you have a wife and children is madness! My real father did that. I hate my stepfather now.

EJSunday: [Moves]: Don't know if I got this right. Or are you saying that your real father gave up his great career and got so annoyed by what he got instead that he left, or the family got split by a growing tension from unhappiness because of a lost career?

Otherwise I would say that giving up a career for the people you love isn't necessarily a mistake. Depends on what makes you more happy when it is impossible to combine both things.

melody: My father gave up a lucrative career in trading and standards for running a drugs cartel in colombia. My mother remarried and the stepfather raped me when I was only 9.

EJSunday: True story?

melody:

In reply to:

True story?

Unfortunately yes. Especially as my stepfather isn't very well endowed.

power2charm: [Why couldn't mamma have married Tommy Lee?]:

In reply to:

My father gave up a lucrative career in trading and standards for running a drugs cartel in colombia. My mother remarried and the stepfather raped me when I was only 9 .

Melody, I think you need your own FAQ. Start with What the fuck is going on here!?!

Oh, and FYI, Mel: I have no wife, no kiddies, and it wasn't a great career I had. Good FAQ comment, though.

EuropeanCanon: [Rose amongst the thorns]:

In reply to:

I got fired a week ago, igniting a complete re-evaluation of my reason for being.

Worse things happen at sea.

beatled:

In reply to:

Especially as my stepfather isn't very well endowed.

what the fuck??

JonnyManic: [yikes]: Sorry to hear about the sack, but maybe it's what you need to spur you into more activism?

Or if not, try enjoying as much of the six months of pay that you get without running into your savings. Savings can really help out when you're in deep shit.

And make sure that you have health insurance while you're out of work too, if your benefits were part of the employment lark.

dice:

In reply to:

And make sure that you have health insurance while you're out of work too

heehaw! you know how much health insurance costs on these shores?!

i'm still curious to know the details of the firing. did his "superior" say "you've got 30 minutes to clear out your desk" or did they leave a message on his answering machine? did he literally get a pink slip? and what was the final straw? had p2c woken up on the wrong side of the bed that particular morning? did his blood boil when he was informed that his services would no longer be needed or was he visibly shaken?

Atonalexpress: Sorry to hear about your unemployment worries. Maybe Adam can hire you to become a permanent moderator at TW land. It should only take 1 full-time position to monitor all the comings and goings on around here. So, send your resume to Adam (this is an idea for your next post, you know, a dear Adam letter) and cross your fingers.

I remember this one. And now that I think about it, I've thought several times over the years about Dara's advice to enjoy periods of unemployment. I didn't quite understand what good advice that was back in 2003, but I do now.

I've had several career crises from 2010 to 2011. The one in the spring of 2011 was the hardest. In another thread today I mentioned that I had started working again at my family's restaurant and then it went under, sending me, my mother, and about 12 other people into unemployment.

Well, it was stressful, but being unemployed over the summer resulted in me writing a little book of short stories I'm relatively happy with. And I started on another story that needs a bit more work. Job hunting was stressful and humiliating, though. It is wretched to have to sell oneself like that. Capitalism is truly dreadful. Now that I'm working again I'm just overworked and worked over. I fantasize about my recent unemployment.

Yep, Iíve been working in a bunch of crappy temp admin jobs, lasting a couple of months apiece. Iím not quite sure how Iíd survive if I didnít have months off in between them to vegetate and collect myself. Well, Iím doing that right now. Writing is easy.