After Action Report - The Tiny Dancer Incident

Location: Malinovka, North of the open field
Players: T-26 “Ironmonger69”

T-26 “Tiny Dancer” – Note: Name has been changed to protect the innocent.

BEGIN!

SPG’s are in the trees as always. I move up to the church to provide spotting and a little early warning security. A TD and a medium are positioning nicely for a kill zone near the shifting SPG’s. I creep around the church and position inside a bush near the front, to better see into the village below. All is well for 30 seconds.

From nowhere, Tiny Dancer pulls up and performs a beautifully executed parking maneuver precisely parallel to me, and only two meters to my left; he could have been a mirror image. Minus the concealment, that is. He’s out (of the garage) and proud; no hiding for him. The turret is spinning non-stop, left, right, up, down. I try to imagine what the conversation among that tank crew would be:

Driver: “Oh, look at this vista. It’s beautiful! I want to live here.”

Tiny Dancer obviously wants to be a Scooby snack for the enemy SPG’s, but doesn’t want to die alone. Whistling quietly to myself, I creep back into my fallback position at the rear of the church. Not ideal, but I can still watch the high road to the north and Tiny can spot anything coming from the village, if it doesn’t spot him first.

However, Tiny Dancer is feeling lonely and immediately backs up to snuggle some more. The turret is wheeling frantically once again, the gun high in the air. He’s like some demented Walmart greeter, eagerly waving in the enemy. “Hiya, and welcome to Malinovka! Have a wonderful slaughtering experience!”

Donotgreifdonotgriefdonotgrief. A few seconds pass, nothing to see yet. Many of our teammates are moving up the south road to the buildings, some fighting in progress. The enemy will be showing up here any time, and hear I sit with a neon “SHOOT HERE” sign. I can’t stay, and reverse again into the woods into a third bush.

Tiny Dancer is not through spooning, and returns to my side, a faithful companion I didn’t ask for. He’s more or less still in the open as well, the turret hyperactive, the gun scanning the trees for kamikaze enemy squirrels. Surely the enemy will show up any mo…

A PzKpfw III crests the hill from the high road, pointed straight at us. That one second seemed like an eternity while I pondered if we had been spotted. Tiny Dancer cared not one whit; he slammed into reverse on sight, mowing down trees as he reversed back into the woods. In the same instant, the Panzer’s muzzle belched fire as a 50mm round streaked towards Tiny Dancer’s vacated parking space, missing him by inches and detracking me. Oh, I’m in it now. I get a shot on him for only a touch of damage. His next shot knocks out my engine and about 30% of my HP. There’s nothing left now except to try and take him with me. My next shot bounces, and then the world evaporates in a red haze as a Wespe drops a 105mm HE round into the smoking vents of my rear deck.

After suffering the grisly fate of many a tanker, the ghosts of my crew hover above their ride and watch in amazement as Tiny Dancer flees over the hills and far away without a scratch, a distinct line of felled trees in his wake. At least we won in the end.

For the inexperienced:
#1 – Cover and concealment are your friends. Know the difference and use them religiously.
#2 – Hold the right mouse button to look around without moving your turret. Waving your gun around can reveal your position to any tank in range.
#3 – Don’t bunch up. Clustered tanks are an SPG’s wet dream.
#4 – Avoid knocking down trees or crushing things whenever possible. Even if no one can see your tank, they can see that. Especially SPG’s. If you’re trying to get away, it will slow you down as well.
#5 - it’s good to watch other players to learn what to do, but please do it at a decent distance. Oh, and wash out your tank once in a while. There’s a reason there were no birds flying. Phew.
#6 – If someone is in the spot you wanted, find another. It’s that simple, you do not own the real estate. Learn the whole map by playing in different sectors, and you’ll always have second, third, or fourth choices to fall back on.

For the inexperienced & the experienced:
#1 – Don’t get so distracted watching the bizarre antics of our more colorful teammates that you forget the task at hand.
#2 – Don’t give in to your impulse to grief others. Contrary to popular belief, venting only makes you angrier and less focused.
#3 – Buy life insurance for your tankers. Their loved ones will thank you for it
#4 – It’s a game. Your tank is essentially indestructible. Relax and enjoy the carnage, and let others enjoy it too. Laugh at the crazy ones. If you want to get thuper-therial about it, join a clan and refrain from random battles.

Here’s hoping a humorous story will actually get some newcomers to read some of the numerous advice threads & take it to heart.

Ha, that's too funny. Well, the situation isn't, but the way that you put it is great.

Only one thing to note: #2 (for the inexperienced) isn't quite true - you can actually move your turret without breaking camouflage. It's when you move your hull in any way that you are counted as "moving" for the purposes of being spotted.

That said, using the right mouse button to look around is still a great tip because then your turret will still actually be facing the way you expect the enemy to be coming. Less time to aim and fire when they show up.

Only one thing to note: #2 (for the inexperienced) isn't quite true - you can actually move your turret without breaking camouflage. It's when you move your hull in any way that you are counted as "moving" for the purposes of being spotted.

Are you sure about that? Reading the devlopers pages on detection points, there are several on the turret and gun; I would be suprised if moving these detection points don't trigger detection.

Are you sure about that? Reading the devlopers pages on detection points, there are several on the turret and gun; I would be suprised if moving these detection points don't trigger detection.

Well, according to the wiki it's true. It doesn't specify that aspect for the 6.4 update, but it seems like they wouldn't keep the old incorrect information in there if it really was incorrect. I feel like I've seen it confirmed around the forums somewhere too, but I can't find it right now.

EDIT: still didn't find it after searching again. But, notice on the wiki page that there were already detection points on the turret prior to 6.4, and it does specify that turning the turret in 6.3.8 did NOT break camo. So I would assume it's still true.

EDIT: Iron and I tested this in a training room as of 6.4 (or 6.5?) and confirmed through several tests that moving the turret made no difference to our detectability.

...
That said, using the right mouse button to look around is still a great tip because then your turret will still actually be facing the way you expect the enemy to be coming. Less time to aim and fire when they show up.

+1... excellently told!! Seen it happen too...

As for the quote above!! I just learned something new!! YAY!!! Honestly, I didn't know about this one... and I've read the manual too... and have a few battles under my belt... lol... thanks for that one!!

Are you sure about that? Reading the devlopers pages on detection points, there are several on the turret and gun; I would be suprised if moving these detection points don't trigger detection.

Ah interesting, I had not thought through this before now, but I try not to move much when hiding anyway, including my turret. Moving your turret does not remove your camo bonus. However, moving your turret does change the location of those detection spots that are on the turret. So what does that do for detecting you? If they don't have a good line of sight on any of your detection points, and moving your turret gives them los on one then they get a chance to detect you but against your full camo bonus (unless of course you move your hull or shoot). That is all that moving the turret will do. Considering they added more detection points I think the odds that they don't have los on any of them is low and moving your turret will not hurt much.

Bronco, I'll have to explore that more. You'd think it would though, since sweeping your gun around in a bush is gonna cause a commotion. Maybe at a reduced rate compared to hull movement, but still. I'm glad you added that about time to aim; I forgot to add that point.

Thanks for the +1's, guys. I'll say this for Tiny Dancer, he may not have been the most tactically sound player, but he could handle T-26 like Mario Andretti!

I thought about that, and it's certainly possible. It didn't seem like he was actively trying to give away our position, just oblivious to it. Even if it was griefing, what could I do about it? Laughing is about the only decent option.

Good post and while it is nicely written and conveys a bunch of useful info I am curious if you and Tiny Dancer were platooned with higher tier tanks. It's been a while since I played T-26, but it was my humble impression that they should not encounter either Pz III or Wespe in a random battle.

Good post and while it is nicely written and conveys a bunch of useful info I am curious if you and Tiny Dancer were platooned with higher tier tanks. It's been a while since I played T-26, but it was my humble impression that they should not encounter either Pz III or Wespe in a random battle.

It's actually quite common to see tier III and IV vehicles when you're playing a T-26, or any tier II vehicle. See Overlord's matchmaking chart for proof...

EDIT: you're right. Upon further review, I realized I was looking at the tier III light line, not the tier II line. But it's all cleared up with Iron's comment below.

...it was my humble impression that they should not encounter either Pz III or Wespe in a random battle.

You're probably right there. No platoons; I was recalling the incident from memory as I wrote it and was more concerned with telling the story than getting precise units involved. For that matter we weren't in T-26's, either; I did not want to risk being accused of calling someone out and changed vehicles to avoid any implication. A couple of early readers may have caught where the signoff "and the (blank) crew" didn't match up before I caught & fixed it.