Sunday, October 6, 2013

Rahul Baba aur Chaalis Chor...

Rahul Baba and the Chaalis Chor….

Oh, how I love this lad! Rahul Baba has
given India a brand new narrative overnight! Forget Alibaba, we now have our
own fable titled “ Rahul Baba and the Chaalis Chor.” Though , frankly speaking,
forty is a seriously modest number , when you consider just how many criminals
there are in Parliament at present ( for a ball park figure, multiply 40 by 10).
Rahul’s “Ordinance Outrage” ( as it has
been aptly dubbed) was nothing short of
a masterstroke. No debate there.While miffed Bollywood directors were
squabbling over India’s official entry to the Oscar’s, here was an award
winning performance that could teach many
an overreaching superstar a thing or two about histrionics and timing! I
have watched that incredible “ All
nonsense” clip many times over. And I am
pretty certain about one thing : this was no temper tantrum. Nor was it a spontaneous explosion.
Everything about ‘that moment’ appears rehearsed and well planned. And one has
to hand it to Rahul – he couldn’t have improved on the script! While Namo, his
main rival, was still banging on about ‘Dehati aurat’ (oh please, get over it,
already!), Rahul nonchalantly hijacked someone else’s press conference ( tch!
Tch! Bad manners, sonny boy), gave a Gabbar Singh look straight to camera,
curled his pout into a menacing sneer and took off. He just took off! And let
fly. Shabaash! In one go, he achieved several objectives, not the least being the
crushing of Modi’s bombast.

Young India worships those who dare ( most
of our ad commercials featuring products aimed at male consumers are
unambiguously macho and laud those who challenge the status quo). Well, Rahul
played up to popular sentiment, played straight to the galleries and walked
away with all the applause. It is hard to believe he did what he did in
isolation. Or that he wasn’t tutored. It’s even harder to accept that Sonia,
his mother, was unaware her son was
about to drop a bomb. A bomb that had the potential to alter the India story dramatically.
Subversion on this scale? Scary! It wasn’t just about displaying an absolute
lack of good etiquette (whatever the personal equation between him and Manmohan
Singh, there is something called protocol and propriety in public life). To diminish the office of the Prime Minister
when the man wasn’t in the country is to cock a snook at democratic functioning
itself. Let’s compare Rahul’s out of turn comment to an off the cuff remark
made by a headboy of a large school ,
which insults an absent Principal during assembly. Any good school would first
rusticate the headboy for insubordination and then go into the reason for his
deplorable conduct. No such thing happens in India, when it comes to our netas.

This
is not to say Rahul was wrong in asking for this preposterous ordinance to be
junked forthwith. He has the gratitude and support of the entire nation for
getting it scrapped. But surely, there was a better way to achieve this
objective? Or does none of that matter given the larger good? Worrying
question.Today, Rahul is India’s biggest hero for speaking up and getting
others to speak up on what would most certainly have been the most besharam
ordinance in our history. Is this a foretaste of things to come? If Rahul Baba
gets bugged by something else in future, will he once again call it ‘nonsense’
and insist its papers be “torn up and thrown away”? He made it sound as simple
as that! Elders in traditional Indian families are known to indulgently shake
their heads when a child misbehaves and croon , “ Jaaney bhi do… bachchpana
hai.” Rahul Gandhi behaved like a spolit
brat – let’s face it. This one time, we can pardon him, since it was all for a
greater common good. The real fear is that having tasted blood, he may take
this route again and again . Then what?

As of now, the Modi camp has gone into a
huddle wondering how to top Rahul’s Ordinance salvo. Modi’s Toilets-and-Temples
speech has not found too many takers, though I am one hundred per cent with him
on this one. It would be interesting to monitor how many public toilets have
been constructed by his government in Gujarat. The last time I was there,
locals were still peeing and crapping in the open, and the drains were not
covered. If it’s going to be a toss up between ganda nullahs and ganda netas,
we know where the country stands on this issue. At least one jailed neta ( Lalu
Prasad Yadav) has made sure he has a clean , tiled toilet for himself inside
Ranchi jail. His khaana peena is also sounding pretty good. He has a television
set and enough khaini to keep his senses lulled and his mind comparatively
quiet while he serves time. Lalu going
to jail in the first place, is all thanks to Rahul Gandhi. Closer to home,
Rahul may have a far tougher time dealing with some of his notorious kith and
kin. Keeping criminals out of Parliament is the easy part . But keeping
criminals out of ones own backyard?? Aha – haven’t you heard of the phrase:
‘Charity begins at home?”

10 comments:

It is surprising that everyone knows that the ordinance was thrown out because President has serious reservation in allowing criminals to sit in parliament. Rahul was indeed tutored to say what he said to look good. His non-sense comment may have more takers had he opened his mouth 2 months back when this idea was floated.

Rahul has his motives in speaking after two months and keeping quiet earlier.

What were your compulsions in not mentioning President Pranav Mukherjee's role in stopping this ordinance from becoming law??

I completely agree with Anil Kumar. It is surprising that nobody condemns the "law minister" Kapil Sibal for floating an ordinance asking for criminals not only to be allowed to stand for elections but also to have the voting 'right.' He is not fit to be in the Govt leave alone being the "law minister". Isn't he supposed to oppose such things in the first place ? Isn't that why he is paid a salary ? In which country would a law minister talk such bullshit & get away with it ? Not a word of condemnation about him in the media ! For the blatant way in which he did it, only the crown prince can get away by telling the truth as it is to be told. I'm glad there is somebody who can call a spade a spade. Regarding the timing, yes, he can be called opportunistic. But that is what politics is all about. Everybody is opportunistic in politics. The media is stupid enough to condemn Rahul Gandhi who has saved the country from criminals & the likes of Kapil Sibal who condones them. The PM had nothing left that could be further undermined after he introduced this notorious bill unheard of anywhere in the world. If the media had condemned Kapil Sibal, it'd've been the voice of the people. Unfortunately by condemning Rahul Gandhi so vociferously & keeping mum on Kapil Sibal, the media has done a gross injustice to the county. No, Rahul Gandhi will never speak his mind hereafter. Don't worry. The stupid media has seen to it with its warped logic.

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