All seven of Djibril Cissé's shots for Sunderland against West Ham in November 2008 were off target. Photograph: Chris Ison/PA

Compile a list of your favourite moments in the history of football, or that small part of it you've been fortunate enough to witness, and you're likely to come up with incidents of either great class or high comedy. My own list would feature great goals, stunning hat-tricks and dramatic last-ditch winners but also people missing open goals or falling off stretchers, and that period of delicious insanity that follows a serious and inconveniently-timed downpour, between everyone realising the match is certain to be abandoned and the referee deciding to abandon it.

Many players have scored two own goals in a match – Walters' was the fourth such haul in the Premier League – and the player at least knows Stoke would have lost even if he hadn't scored any. Germinal Ekeren's Stan van den Buijs didn't have that reassurance when he scored an own-goal hat-trick against Anderlecht in January 1995 – the match ended 3-2. "My two sons tease me about it all the time," he said, a few years ago. "Fortunately it happened towards the end of my career. It didn't give me sleepless nights."

Sunderland's Michael Proctor scored two own goals in a single match once, and to make matters worse his team-mate Stephen Wright scored another, all three of them in the space of seven first-half minutes as Charlton won 3-1 at the Stadium of Light in February 2003. On the plus side, Sunderland hadn't scored more than two goals in a single game all season, and in this one they got all four.

A few other notably bad Premier League performances: Watford's Hameur Bouazza can claim the worst outfield display of passing in the league's history, playing 85 minutes against Wigan in September 2006 and attempting just one pass (not completed). Curiously, the two most profligate displays of strike play since 2006 both came from Sunderland players against West Ham – in November 2008, 100% of Djibril Cissé's seven shots were off target, and 11 months later Darren Bent bothered the keeper with just two of eight attempts (but did set up the last goal in a 2-2 draw). Wigan's Mike Pollitt is responsible for the worst goalkeeping display, statistically at least, saving twice and failing to save eight against Chelsea in May 2010.

A debut always brings an unusual level of attention on a player, making it all the more memorable when it goes horribly wrong. Jonathan Woodgate's first appearance for Real Madrid certainly fits that category, delayed as it was by 17 months because of a thigh injury and containing as it did a first-half diving-header own goal and a red card. "Fuck me, what a debut," he said, succinctly.

Ade Akinbiyi's painful debut for Burnley against Sunderland in 2005 was at least brief – he was sent off within two minutes of his arrival as a second-half substitute for headbutting George McCartney. There have been other bad substitutions, though: the Wolves defender John McAlle came on against Watford in an FA Cup tie in 1980, broke a leg a minute later and was out for 11 months, missing a League Cup final. Ian Hendry combines broken legs and disastrous debuts, having lasted less than a minute of his first appearance for Hibernian, against Berwick Rangers in 1981, before sustaining the injury that ended his time at the club.

Referees also get in trouble when things go spectacularly wrong. In a match between Barnsley and Liverpool at Oakwell in 1998 the man in charge, Gary Willard, had sent off two Tykes when, in the 67th minute, he became worried about his own safety and decided to stop the match and spend five minutes hiding in the dressing room. He returned in time to send off another Barnsley player, but even against eight men Liverpool needed an 89th-minute Steve McManaman goal to steal a 3-2 win.

In 1988 officials at a match at Tynecastle also found themselves spending unscheduled time in their dressing room, though in slightly different circumstances: a Hearts director had been so dissatisfied with their display that he locked the door while they were changing after the game and pocketed the key. They were released after 45 minutes; he was fined £1,000.

It's all very well, or unwell, to endure a single bad day, but Chic Brodie could have claimed a cursed career. The goalkeeper's rap sheet includes finding a hand grenade on the pitch (it turned out to be a fake), causing a 45-minute delay by accidentally snapping a crossbar, having to go off injured after being hit by a stone thrown from the crowd, and finally conceding four goals and having his professional career ended by a collision with a pitch-invading jack russell terrier in a match broadcast live on television. "The dog might have been small," said Brodie, "but it just happened to be solid."

Naturally, defenders can have a bad day without scoring a single own goal. A word here for Margate's David Paton, whose job in a first-round FA Cup tie against Bournemouth in 1971 was to mark the visitors' Ted MacDougall; MacDougall scored nine – still an FA Cup record – in an 11-0 win. In goal for Margate that day, making a tentative return to amateur football a year after his unfortunate canine collision, was the cursed Chic Brodie.

Any goalkeeper who concedes a hatful can be said to have had a bad game but some take it worse than others. The classic example is Burnley's Billy O'Rourke, a 19-year-old unfortunate enough to be handed his debut in October 1979 at a decent club – Queens Park Rangers, who were to end the season fifth – for a side in freefall. This was the Clarets' 17th match of the season, in all competitions, and they were still seeking their first win. To add a little extra pressure, it was to be featured on Match of the Day. It was 4-0 at half-time and 7-0 at the end, and O'Rourke left the pitch in tears.

But it would be hard to beat the reaction of Peter Gibbs in September 1976, after the first major disappointment of his young career. Plucked from non-league obscurity and thrust into Watford's first team, his fourth appearance ended in a 4-0 defeat at Cambridge. At the final whistle he turned to his own fans, raised two fingers and promptly retired from football altogether. "I cannot treat football seriously enough – I'm just not that dedicated," he told the local paper. "The Cambridge defeat may have brought matters to a head but I would have come to this decision even if we had won. I just don't like playing in goal."

We are yet to see the effect of Saturday's events on Walters' psyche, but retirement seems unlikely. Clearly it wasn't such a bad day, after all.