ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO TAPPEI NAGATSUKI, THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR OF RE:ZERO, THIS IS A TRANSLATION OF THE FREE JAPANESE WEB NOVEL INTO ENGLISH

ARC 4

THE EVERLASTING COVENANT

Chapter 35 [The Young Girl’s Gospel]

Enclosed on all sides, the room was filled with the choking scent of old books.
Stepping through the opened door, stricken by this sight and smell, Subaru’s mouth gaped open wordlessly as he realized, half a second too late, that he had stepped onto a floor that did not belong to the place he was hoping for―
――and that this delay in his awareness proved fatal.

[Subaru: The Forbidden Library!?]

He had reached the place which he couldn’t find while searching all throughout the Mansion. The undesired timing and the unforeseen opportunity created a vacuum in Subaru’s heart, robbing him of the time before the door slammed shut behind him.

[Subaru: ――!]

As though shoved forth by a wind from the outside, Subaru’s body was sucked into the Library. With the same momentum, the door clamped shut, sending a small breeze tickling the back of Subaru’s neck.
Turning around at the violent sound, confirming that the room had been separated from the hallway, he understood.
Why the Forbidden Library opened to him here, and why it had shut its doors.

[Subaru: O-Open it――!!]

Reaching for the doorknob, he noticed the state of his right arm and reached out the left one as well. His blood-drenched fingers wrenched violently at the knob, sending loud clatters into the air, but although the knob was turning, it conveyed none of his intentions to the door. The screech of the knob’s futile rotation only served to compound Subaru’s agitation.

[Beatrice: ――No matter how much you struggle to get out, it’s no use, you know]

A voice flew to Subaru’s ears from behind while he was desperately wrestling with the door.
Swinging around, and leaning his back against the door flap――he saw the girl in the depths of the Library, staring directly at him with a cold and indifferent gaze.
Long, cream-colored curls and an extravagant dress. A small body, and cute, yet peevish features. She was every bit the same girl that Subaru knew.

[Subaru: Beatrice……]

[Beatrice: You look quite terrible, I suppose. You’ll dirty the Library’s floor, so don’t move around so much……]

[Beatrice: ……And what will you do once you go back, I suppose? Even if you go back with these unsightly wounds, Betty has no idea what you could possibly do]

[Subaru: I know better than anyone that I can’t do anything!! But it doesn’t matter!!]

He did not want to go back in order to face Elsa, but to enter the room where he was supposed to be, to go to that sleeping girl’s side, and――

[Subaru: If I’m in the Library, and Door Crossing is lifted…… then that murderer would, the room……]

When she realizes that Subaru had vanished, that lunatic would probably find herself tilting her head. Before searching the Mansion for the disappeared Subaru, she would find the lonely girl sleeping inside. What that wanton murderer would do when she finds her, defenseless in her sleep―― did not warrant a second thought.

[Subaru: THAT’S WHY――!]

[Beatrice: It’s already too late, you know]

Subaru, roaring at the top of his lungs as if to shake off this surging apprehension, was instantly washed over by Beatrice’s abrupt and poignant whisper.
Seeing her cast down her eyes and shake her head, for a moment, Subaru froze. His brain chewed over the meaning of her words, and his thoughts came to a halt.

――What did this girl say just now?

[Subaru: Too late…… what do you…… mean?]

[Beatrice: The reason why you think you want to go back to that room… is already gone, I suppose]

[Subaru: ――――]

In front of Subaru’s disjointed question, Beatrice gave this dispassionate reply.
His throat choked up, his eyes opened to their limits, and, by the time he realized it, he had fallen to his knees. His shoulders dropped, his head faced downwards, and a terrible ring echoed within his skull.
Pain, pain, the forgotten pain revived as noise eroded Subaru’s consciousness. It would be alright if only everything could be drowned in that noise and be swept away, he honestly thought. He didn’t want to understand any of it. He didn’t want to realize it. Nonetheless,

Walking up to Subaru, who had collapsed onto the floor, Beatrice folded her knees and looked over the wounds on his right arm, left waist and right shoulder, casting him a frown of reproach. A faint light covered over her hand, which she pressed against his most severely wounded right arm ――replacing the heat of pain, something of an itch coursed through his arm. And, along with the sound of splashing water, the fabric of his flesh began to mend.
The bleeding stopped, and slowly, and slowly, answering to the light, a membrane spread over the open wound as the sheared off area was repopulated with cells spurring to recovery. Although,

[Beatrice: It will take time to return to its original width, and your missing fingers won’t be coming back, I suppose. ……The wounds on your hip and shoulder―]

[Subaru: ……what the hell are you doing]

A voice devoid of emotion leaked from Subaru’s lips.
Intent on healing his wounds, Beatrice furrowed her brows and held out her palm, emanating with healing energy, in front of Subaru’s eyes,

[Beatrice: I don’t like this either. But I have no choice, so I’m treating your wounds. Betty is the only one in the Mansion who can heal such extensive wounds, I suppose. You should thank me you know]

[Subaru: heal…… my wounds……? what for……?]

[Beatrice: These wounds would be life-threatening if left alone, I suppose. And though I don’t particularly care whether you live or die, I would rather you not die here]

Closing one eye, perhaps disregarding Subaru’s words as delirium from his injuries, Beatrice uttered this cold reply as she prepared to continue healing. But,

[Subaru: ――――gh]

[Beatrice: Ah]

Sensing the healing waves burying away his wounds, Subaru swung his injured arm aside, prompting a small sound of surprise from Beatrice.
He taxed his trembling knees and rolled onto his side, painting large swathes of the Forbidden Library’s floor in red as he distanced himself from her, all the while keeping his ghastly stare fixed upon her face.

Panting with ragged breaths, his frantic movements dislodged the darts buried in his hip. Shrill clatters rang out as they landed on the floor, followed by the sound of free-flowing liquid that was blood flowing from his wounds. Streaming down his thighs, and spreading out from his knees, it flooded over the floor in a river of blood.
Beatrice’s breath stopped at this sight, while Subaru bared his teeth,

[Subaru: I don’t need any healing……! IF YOU DON’T CARE WHETHER I LIVE OR DIE…… WHY DID YOU BOTHER SAVING ME!?]

[Beatrice: That’s because…… you were too unsightly. I couldn’t bear to look……]

[Subaru: Why…… why me!? If you wanted to save someone, why didn’t you save Petra….. or Frederica!? If we had your help, even if we didn’t fight, we could’ve just ran away……anything would have been better……!]

If they had Door Crossing to separate them from the outside world, they would have been able to stay beyond the reach of Elsa’s relentless pursuit. If used the correct way, there is no better ability specialized for escape. Whether it was Petra, who didn’t run away until it was too late, or Frederica, who stayed behind to cover their escape, or Rem, sound asleep in her bed――!

[Subaru: You could’ve saved all of them……! I’m weak, I’m stupid…… but you could have done it…… so why didn’t you……?]

[Beatrice: Why would Betty…… there was no reason for Betty to help those people you spoke of, I suppose. No reason that I know of. It was none of my business]

[Subaru: In that case……! You had no reason to save me either, did you!?]

Watching Beatrice reluctantly shaking her head at his plea, Subaru slammed the floor with his right arm that was still in the process of healing.

[Subaru: Why did you help me!? Why did you save me!? Was it all just on a whim? What made me any different from the rest of them!? Rem was always a good girl, there were things Frederica still wanted to do…… and Petra was still so small…… they were all far more worth saving than me! Didn’t their lives also have meaning…… have value!?]

[Subaru: Where the hell is the logic in that!? First you wouldn’t see me when I was looking all over for you, then you choose a critical time like this to show up! If you didn’t see any value in me or those girls…… you should’ve just kept minding your own business and stayed shut up in this room!!]

Why did she have to appear now, after everything was already too late?
She could have stayed hidden so that even Elsa couldn’t have detected her, but now, once Elsa realizes where Subaru had gone, Beatrice’s existence could very well have been exposed.
In that case, there was a chance that even this girl wouldn’t be able to escape the murderer’s blade. So why did she take such risks to let a half-dead Subaru in?
Why did she save him now, when he had already lost the will to live, and wanted only death?

[Subaru: I don’t care if you did this on a whim, but…… if you want to save me…… if you still have even a shred of desire to help me…… then kill me… now……]

Spewing up blood mixed with spit, clawing at the floor with both his maimed right hand and his remaining left hand, Subaru shrieked out his appeal.
Before his reason to live becomes entirely lost, before his inaction leads him to an unrecoverable future.

He shrieked for this useless, powerless, incompetent mass to be extinguished from this world.

But Beatrice did not accept his plea that was carried within the shrieking of his very soul.
She shook her head, and with a look confusion and displeasure emerging on her face,

[Beatrice: I don’t understand, I don’t understand at all. I can’t understand you Humans, I suppose. Why are you…… why would you say such a thing now, when you still have your life?]

[Subaru: You aren’t saving me by saving my life! Right now this life is nothing but agony! It shouldn’t be here, I shouldn’t be here…… If you’re saying you won’t save me……]

If he can’t depend on others, then he will just put an end to this miserable existence himself――

Seeing Subaru’s breath pause with this resolve, Beatrice let slip a small sound.

[Beatrice: ah]

And, as her voice entered his ears, without hesitation, Subaru stuck out his tongue, and,

[Subaru: ――――!]

Biting down with all his force, he committed to this suicidal act.

Excruciating pain. Pain of an entirely different magnitude from the pain of his right arm. No matter how much he experiences it, he can never develop tolerance to this. No matter how the injury was incurred, no matter which part of his body it came from, it was always new, excruciating, intolerable pain that he could never grow used to. Regardless of where or when, all pain is equal in that sense.

Blood pouring from his mouth, Subaru turned up the whites of his eyes and fainted on the spot.
Falling over, his eyes swam as his limbs began to spasm. Agonizing pain. Unable to breathe. His near-severed tongue lodged itself in his throat, suffocating him from within.

[Beatrice: ――what’re you doing!?]

It was not the kind of injury that resulted in immediate death. The acute, dull pain pulsated, shocking his brain in fits. His limbs shook uncontrollably as streams of bloody tears ran across his cheeks, conveying his unbearable agony. The half-severed tip of his tongue dangled from the edge of his lips, indicative of Subaru’s insufficient resolve at the final moment of his act to end his life.

Since coming to this Parallel World, this was the third time that Subaru had chosen to commit suicide.
The first was during the loop in the Mansion, when he killed himself with the resolve to bring back what was irretrievable.
The second was at the end of the loop that began within the Capital, where he killed himself when he realized that Rem’s existence had been wiped from this world. He had stabbed a knife into his throat, but nothing was changed.

And the third time he killed himself―― although he had no guarantee that he would be able to return, he simply could no longer endure living on in this world. It was too heavy, and too unreasonable a burden. And so, staking everything on this slightest hope, in order to retrieve what he had lost――

[Beatrice: ……no.. don’t leave me all alone……]

A trembling voice called to him from the world that was growing distant.
The voice grew further, and further, until it disappeared entirely――

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

――When he woke, the first thing that struck Subaru’s nostrils was the scent of dust.

[Subaru: huh……?]

Waiting for his consciousness to catch up, turning his neck with his eyes still closed, Subaru realized that he had awoken.
Lying sideways on the ground, feeling the coldness of the surface seeping into his body, it went without saying that the restart point was still inside the Tomb.

Then, sitting his body up, he opened his eyes to look over his dark surroundings. His vision, obscured by tears, was still unreliable so soon after waking, and could not make out what he was searching for.
Nevertheless, he was relieved to have returned from death once more. If the place he returned to was the Tomb, then the restart point hadn’t changed.

Inside the Tomb, the time would be immediately after Subaru passed the first Trial. Emilia would be collapsed at his side, and he should start by waking her up.

[Subaru: head, hurts……]

Rubbing himself between the brows, lightly shaking his head, Subaru’s mind worked to organize his current circumstances.
There were already countless things for him to consider without the events of the previous loop added on top. Still, he hadn’t found a single solution. Even the light he was supposed to have seen now felt like a moth lamp luring him into another trap.
As though circumventing one pitfall had only led him to another.

[Subaru: It’s like that free gift you get from that shady fellow on Kenzan……]

“Deadly” would be an appropriate description here.
The Sanctuary and the Trials. His relationship with Garfiel. The attack on the Mansion. The inexplicable disappearance of the grace period, his vengeance against Elsa―― and how to save Rem and the others.
They were all problems that would turn his brain to mush, but he was already fortunate enough to have been granted the chance to continue worrying over them.
Otherwise, it could have all ended there, and he was not entirely without some sense of resignation to that possibility. But as long as that much can be overcome, he will be able to save everything――

[Subaru: It’ll be painful to have to pretend not knowing anything in front of Emilia again, but――]

Mumbling this, Subaru felt his hazy vision beginning to clear. Snorting the dust out of his nose, he decided he should first look for Emilia.
With that thought, he lifted his right hand to his forehead like a visor, when he finally noticed it.

――His right hand was missing three of its fingers.

[Subaru: N――!? Aah!?]

Seeing the wound that should not be there, the scars that could not possibly be carried over, Subaru’s throat groaned in shock. Struck by the fact that he had taken a far too optimistic view of the world, he cast his trembling eyes over his surroundings.

Cold floor, dry stone walls. The smell of mold. The space that Subaru had hoped for was the Tomb. But the reality in front of his eyes was a corner of the Library lined with packed-full bookshelves, a room drifting with the unique fragrance of vellum enduring the passage of time,

[Subaru: The Forbidden Library…… how, d..….]

Inexplicably, his physical body was still in the place he should already have bid farewell to. His thoughts turning to the worst, Subaru began checking over his body.
The worst possibility―― was that the moment he set foot into the Forbidden Library, the checkpoint of the world had been set.

Unable to hide his consternation, Subaru stared at the right arm he was holding up to his face. Three fingers were missing, and a third of its width was lost. However, the wounds of the arm had already been sealed, and the contorted, discolored flesh was in the process of regeneration.
His waist and right shoulder that had been pierced by darts showed no apparent injuries, and there was only an intermittent sense of discomfort and a strained sensation on his skin.
At the very least, this could not have been the moment he stepped into the Forbidden Library. Then, by the process of elimination, there could only be one possibility.

[Beatrice: ――You’re finally awake, I suppose]

For Subaru, who had realized that fact, this was the voice he least wanted to hear.
That careless attitude, that bored-with-the-world intonation, obviously worried but trying her hardest to suppress it, that voice in soprano that was deep down desiring some connection.

Without moving from his seat on the floor, Subaru turned his head.
Even now, he did not abandon the faint hope that he would see the silver-haired girl behind him. But instead, shattering that fantasy, was a young girl in a dress, seated on a wooden stepladder.
Appearing no different than before he lost consciousness, it was Beatrice, looking down at Subaru, holding a book in her hands.

Seeing an inadvertent sigh leaking from Subaru’s mouth, she slammed her book shut, and slowly stepped down from her stepladder,

[Beatrice: All because of your stupid actions, I had to really struggle, you know. The injuries on your arm, shoulder, hip, and tongue should all be healed now. There shouldn’t be any discomfort]

[Subaru: …………]

[Beatrice: You just picked up your life and you have nothing to say, I suppose? Well, hopefully this taught you a lesson to not do anything stupid anymore……]

[Subaru: you…… do you have any idea what you’ve done?]

[Beatrice: w……?]

Saying these as if asking to be thanked, Beatrice approached the silent Subaru only to be met by these wrenched out words. And, the moment her face frowned up,

[Subaru: ――――!]

Subaru suddenly stood up from the ground, and, shooting out his left arm, he grabbed Beatrice by her extravagant dress. [Ah!], her mouth opened in surprise as he pulled her close, bringing her face up against his,

[Subaru: ――WHO THE HELL ASKED YOU TO SAVE ME!!??]

[Beatrice:――――a]

[Subaru: Do you realize what you’ve done!? Because of you, it was all for nothing! Everything, everything that I could have fixed is put at risk because of you! Why didn’t you just let me die!? I’m still alive, but what good is that…… WHAT GOOD IS THAT!? WHAT!?]

By acting without regard for his life, Subaru should have earned the right to start over.
But he was held back by the girl in front of him, and his wish was not granted. And all that remained to Subaru now was an indescribable sense of loss and endless rage directed towards Beatrice.

[Subaru: Saving me on a whim, healing my injuries…… are you satisfied now? You want me to thank you? Ah, yeah, thank you! Thank you for saving my life! Even though everything else is already lost, at least MY LIFE’S BEEN SAVED!]

[Beatrice: B-Betty was only…… only……]

[Subaru: You came for me at the very last moment, how can I thank you enough!? Of course, as usual, there you are looking down on me with that carefree expression like there’s not a hurry in the world. You’re good at it, aren’t you? You like that, don’t you? Looking down and sneering at the little Human beings and―― a]

Reaching the extreme limits of hatred, his face contorted with a grotesque smile, Subaru pulled Beatrice close and showered these insults upon her. With this heartless act, he tried to bury all his dejection, disappointment and loss. And yet, his words abruptly ended――

[Beatrice: ――kh]

[Subaru: Ah……]

――When he saw large droplets of tears falling from the eyes of the girl he was holding up-close.
Seeing them, the blood that was rushing to his head instantly fell, and the ugly vindictiveness he had just let slip now became more terrifying than he could bear.
With the unraveling of his spite, his fingers loosened from Beatrice’s body. Suddenly freed from his grasp, the young girl’s body leaned backwards into the bookshelf behind her, and dropped to her knees.

A fierce nausea rose up in his chest. Becoming aware of what he had just done, he could not stand the hideousness of his own heart.
Ugly. Twisted. What was it except lashing out? To Beatrice, who knew nothing about his “Return by Death”, she was merely healing his wounds when he was on the verge of death. Instead of thanking the person who had saved his life, he had abused her for no reason at all.
He understood this logically. But his emotions did not accept it. Tossed around from within by the two polar extremes of his heart, searching for something to say, he lifted his eyes towards the fallen Beatrice,

If it was anyone’s fault, it was undoubtedly Subaru’s.
Knowing what would happen, without doing anything to guard against it, he had walked directly into the tiger’s den and stepped on its tail. Once again, it was those around him who paid the price. And now, to blame everyone but himself ――was beyond the limits of Pride.

Emotionally, he wanted to blame everything on this uninformed girl. And he still couldn’t swallow his emotions of the fact that she had hidden herself from him only to show up in that instant.
Nevertheless, they could do nothing to pardon him for the reproaches he shouted at that girl.

At least, he should go somewhere away from her, and choose a different place to kill himself.
There was no longer any reason for Subaru to continue on in this world. Too much had been lost. And Subaru was not strong enough to live in a world without what he couldn’t bear to lose.
So, with these concise words of gratitude, Subaru averted his eyes and prepared to leave the Forbidden Library――

[Subaru: ――――]

――When he noticed, dropped at the collapsed Beatrice’s side, there was a tome bound all in black.

Plain cover. Thick structure. It was the size of a large dictionary, and appeared heavy enough to be unwieldy. In any case, there was a certain familiarity that Subaru could not pull his eyes away from.Why here, why is it here now?

[Subaru: The Gospel… is in the dragon carriage…… it shouldn’t…. be here in the Library……]

The Witch Cult’s Gospel that once belonged to Petelgeuse, taken from him after his death, was now in Subaru’s possession. But, having decided that it was not a book that belonged in a Library, he had kept it himself while taking extreme cautions of the unknown functions it may have served. So how could it be here?
Shaking his head at the incomprehensible situation, Subaru reached out his hand to the Gospel that had dropped on the floor, hoping that checking its contents would dispel this unease. But,

[Beatrice: ――No!]

Before Subaru’s hand could reach it, the Gospel was snatched away.
Messing up the hems of her dress, with panting breaths, Beatrice clasped the Gospel in her arms as she backed away from Subaru. Keeping distance between them, holding back her sobs, she looked down towards the Gospel in her arms, and appeared to breathe a sigh of relief as she traced her fingers over its covers.
Seeing that gesture as though she was caressing something dear, an ominous dread crept up in Subaru’s heart,

[Subaru: Why are you… treating that thing like it’s something important to you?]

[Beatrice: .………]

[Subaru: That’s the book those Witch Cultists have…… isn’t it? It isn’t, is it? It just looks really similar, but they’re completely different things, right? You just didn’t want me to misunderstand, and that’s why you backed away from me, right? Yeah, I know I have a bad habit of jumping to conclusions, and I can get really stubborn when ideas get stuck in my head, and I said mean things to you and my eyes are scary-looking and my personality is all twisted but……]

[Beatrice: …………]

[Subaru: Hey―― you’ll deny it, won’t you?]

While Subaru rambled on and on, trying to make excuses on her behalf, Beatrice only kept her silence. Until, he could only beg.
Seeing him this way, Beatrice let slip a small sigh, and held out the book in her hands so that Subaru could see it,

[Beatrice: It’s exactly as you imagined. ……This is a Gospel. As you said, it is the same as the ones in the Witch Cultists’ possession. The guide to happiness. The foundation of life. And the only, singular truth, I suppose]

[Subaru: W-Why…… do you have it? Do they sell it somewhere? A L-LUCKY ITEM that tells your future or something? Some kind of real-life walkthrough that totally breaks the game balance or……ahh, come on]

[Beatrice: ……Betty… hasn’t been instructed to answer that question, I suppose]

To Subaru’s trembling voice, Beatrice flipped quickly through the pages and gave him this cold reply. Seeing the girl’s eyes focused on the contents of her book, Subaru felt a numbness encroaching on his tongue,

[Subaru: You won’t do anything… unless the book tells you to?]

[Beatrice: That question was not written in the book]

[Subaru: What about healing my wounds? And sheltering me in the Forbidden Library when I was going to be killed?]

[Beatrice: Those questions were not written in the book, I suppose]

[Subaru: And what about talking with me just now? And saving me… when I was trying to die……?]

[Beatrice: ――I don’t know]

Casting down her eyes, Beatrice only returned this emotionless reply.
To see her like a doll, devoid of all emotions, Subaru’s lungs convulsed in horror. With light flickering in his eyes such that he forgot how to breathe, he shouted at the top of his voice,

[Subaru: SO YOU CAN’T DO A SINGLE THING UNLESS THE BOOK TELLS YOU SO!?]

[Beatrice: ……Yes, I suppose. That is so. Everything of everything is in accordance with the Gospel’s guidance. That is the meaning of Betty’s life, and the purpose for which Betty exists]

[Subaru: So……helping me was just written in that book as well!? Saving me when I was dying from the Mabeasts in the forest! And saving me when my heart was worn to its core! Our jokes, our arguments, all that time we had fun playing around like idiots…… none of it was your free will…… IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE TELLING ME?]

[Beatrice: That’s…… THAT’S WHAT I’M TRYING TO TELL YOU, I SUPPOSE!!]

Covering over the last part of Subaru’s scathing words, Beatrice shouted back, her face flushing in anger. Taking one step forward, she pointed a single finger at Subaru,

[Beatrice: Everything that Betty has done, and seen, and said up to now is written in here, I suppose. You…… something like you will never move Betty’s heart. There should be a limit to your arrogance I suppose, Human]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Beatrice: Betty will do what is expected of Betty, and fulfill the meaning of my existence. This life, this span of time, and all that I have sacrificed is for this purpose…… AND I WILL NOT DENY IT FOR THE LIKES OF YOU……!!]

[Subaru: Bea……]

Emotions flooded from Beatrice like a broken dam. And although he tried to speak in that instant, he was silenced by an abrupt, overwhelming pressure from the front.
Feeling the sensation of being forced back by a wind, unable to resist, Subaru realized that his body was being pushed towards the door. ――And, just like that, he was flung off of his feet.

[Subaru: Sto…… Beatrice!]

[Beatrice: Betty’s everything is for Mother! And Mother is the only one Betty needs! I don’t care about you…… I don’t care……]

[Subaru: ――――]

[Beatrice: I don’t care. I hate you. I hate you. ――I HATE YOU!]

Shaking her head and hiding the tears streaming down her cheeks, the girl screamed to Subaru as he was flung through the air.
The door opened. The space of the Forbidden Library was driving Subaru out. Before he passed through the door, he clasped onto the doorframe with his right hand. But, with fewer than three fingers, it was not nearly enough. Only his index finger held on, but even that only gave him a few seconds of respite.
Lifting his face, Subaru tried to shout to the crying girl――

[Subaru: Beatri――!]

[Beatrice: ……u-sama]*

Drowned out by her quiet voice, Subaru’s call did not reach her.
Blown away. Wiped out. Space distorted as Subaru’s physical body was expelled into a place that shouldn’t exist.

[Beatrice:――――]

The door thundered shut, the gushing wind halted with the sound, and silence descended on the Library once more.
The girl who was left alone, with an expression as if holding back her sobs, slowly walked into the depths of the room―― stepping onto her usual stepladder and quietly sitting down, she hugged her knees and opened the Gospel with her trembling fingertips. Then,

[Beatrice: Why…… couldn’t Betty… ever……]

In front of the wordless, blank pages, only her sobs resounded pointlessly throughout the silence of the room.

-=Chapter 35 End=-

(*The ‘u’ sound could be several different letters in English. It could be any Japanese name ending in L: “Ru”, or ending in S, CE or X: “Su”. There is also the possibility of it being “Tou-sama”, meaning Father, matching “Okaa-sama”, Beatrice’s word for Mother – TC)

I feel like her Gospel is linked to whether another being (A Witch like Ekidona for example) or something we don’t know yet. She do says “It’s the same as the Witch Cultist ones” but it could be interpreted as they have the same function, not the same affiliation. I can’t bring myself to believe she & Roswaal would be into Satella when they shelter Emilia who’s threatened by that being.

Having a Gospel doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a Witch Cultist.
But she was sad when Subaru told her that Petelgeuse is dead.
Maybe the Gospel itself isn’t evil, but the knowledge drove people like Petelgeuse mad.

No i really dont think anyone that has the gospel is a witch cult member.If we count in Subaru after he killed Petelguese and took his gospel,wouldn’t that mean Subaru is a witch cultists..

(Note:The same thing happened with the blank pages in petelgues’s gospel,I think that the gospel actually is full of stories/guides for the users but after some amount of time it just stops(go blank),and thats when i actually think when the gospel pages go blank,the user is actually gonna die….)

Rosvaal has one too, keeps it right next to his ass. (it was somewhere in 10ths chapters). So at least we know it’s a book that tells it’s owner what to do, to have his wish granted, or something? Would be funny if all those traps and hurdles he set for Subaru in arc3 were what the book told him to do.

I feel like her Gospel is linked to whether another being (A Witch like Ekidona for example) or something we don’t know yet. She do says “It’s the same as the Witch Cultist ones” but it could be interpreted as they have the same function, not the same affiliation. I can’t bring myself to believe she & Roswaal would be into Satella when they shelter Emilia who’s threatened by that being.

Is that gospel the same one Subaru showed her in a previous loop and she was able to maintain it due to the library being a separate dimension? I wonder if what Subaru wrote is still in there. That would be pretty crazy.

shouldn’t the witch cultist’s name be written as Betelgeuse (like the star) instead of Petelgeuse? that’s how they spelled it in the anime too (B not P), so I was wondering if there’s a reason for that.

Apparently, both WN and Anime call him Petelgeuse, for whatever reason. Though, of course, the name of the star is spelled with B. As far as I know, the difference between Be- and Pe- in Japanese kana is a small round thingy in top-right corner of the letter. Don’t know what it’s called in English.

Japanese fans asked Tappei about this in an interview and he said that Petelgeuse’s role in the story did not ended in arc 3. He is going to be important later when its revealed why his name starts with P instead of B.
Crunchyroll when doing the subbing probably did not know about this. (its impossible to know from the anime since it sounds like B)

Aaand I’ll still post my theory here, even though I replied the same thing to some people already :

I feel like Beako’s Gospel is linked to whether another being (A Witch like Ekidona for example) or something we don’t know yet. She do says “It’s the same as the Witch Cultist ones” but it could be interpreted as they have the same function, not the same affiliation. I can’t bring myself to believe she & Roswaal would be into Satella when they shelter Emilia who’s threatened by that being.

And btw, i’m a bit confused at the part where Beatrice was saying that she did everything all this time only in accordance with what the book said, but then the dialogue showed that the book is actually ’empty’ and doesn’t have any writings at all right? So, wasn’t that means Beatrice was lying? That she did all of the things with Subaru at her own free will?

We don’t know yet. I think maybe the Gospel being blank has something to do with Subaru messing up his loop. In his last meeting with Roswaal, Roswaal said that he(Roswaal) didn’t make it, and was very depressed. I think he noticed that Subaru’s behavior deviated from the Gospel’s prediction(since it’s not the final iteration, and Subaru will need to die and respawn), and if Roswaal checks the Gospel again afterwards it might be blank as well.

Times like when she didn’t save Subaru from the curse in early Arc 2, it may have been because the Gospel blanked out and didn’t give her any instructions to save him, and so she didn’t want to act without the Gospel’s instruction.

Still, I think she is free as long as she likes her instructions. I doubt she will follow instructions against her will. and in that sense she acts on her free will.

The Gospel’s guidance leads to some kind of end goal.
I’m guessing it is promising what the owner of the Gospel wants the most in the world, but the Gospel in fact has a secret goal of its own and uses the promise to manipulate its owners.

I never thought about how Subaru messing up the timeline would cause the gospel to go blank. This is probably why in the anime roswaal leaves the mansion when subaru goes to town with rem and ram a day early and subaru gets bit by the dog(mabeast). I think Roswaal is the archbishop of lust. The story so far hasn’t shown lust or wrath. I think betty is a spirit like puck who has been around for a long time and probably know the witch of envy, Satella. It would also explain why Subaru who is blessed by the witch can always find Beako’s room. Roswaal being a sin archbishop would explain why he didn’t want to fight the witches’ cult sloth and I think he wants Emilia to get to be king so he would have an opportunity to slay the dragon and free Satella. The only contradiction is that Roswaal is contracted by family to protect the Sanctuary of the witch of Greed until the trials are completed. I would be interested in hearing more theories.

Well….,I have read all the comments and have thought of something nobody thought of
….could it be that subaru of another time line who have seen all the routes made the Gospel
In order to ….I don’t know what?!
Hhahahaha…that can’t be right ..right?………

I think the gospel’s pages goes blank if the owner dies or when Subaru dies. Subaru saw blank pages on Betelguese’s gospel because Betelguese is already dead. But Beatrice’s gospel was blank even though she’s still alive, that means Subaru is going to die soon.

Maybe all those Witch cultist or the one’s with gospels treats each other as brothers or sisters.
The proof was when Beatrice heard that Betelguese died and she was saddened, when Betelguese attack the mansion but Roswaal isnt there because he doesnt want to fight his brothers, and also why Beatrice doesnt want to lose Subaru.

Wow. Now don’t go and tell me that at the end of it, all of what happened was as the gospel foretold. The coming of Subaru, his countless deaths, all the things he went through… it was all supposed to happen according to the gospel. I hope it’s not.

wait, what if Beatrice’s gospel isn’t actually her gospel?
If on the gospel there’s truly written what’s going to happen in the future, maybe the one Beako has it’s actually her mother’s gospel. that would explain why the pages are blank, because her mother died (?)

So i read the comments and i think i agree to a certain term with them. So what I believe is this:

-All of Roswaals family are member of the witch cult, which is basically confirmed.
-All of Roswaals servants knew that, ofc not subaru, but it does make sense that Ram knew it.
-Beako HAS to be part of them wether willingly or not she is part of the witch cult. Like the others said before, with petelgeuse being killed and she was sad about it.
-Beako has a gospel that according to the other guys here gives information about futur tasks to do.
-Puck is strangely not showing himself despite his PACT with emilia.
-Puck seems to be disapeared after they chose to go to the WITCHES GRAVE. Which ill talk later about it.
-Like I said above, the servants know Roswaals secret so that means RAM knows it as well…
Theorizing: That could mean that RAM as well JUST ACTED like the gospel gave intructions to Roswaal so he tells her to do that and this. personally i hope its not true…

Theorie 2:
Beako seems to cry over her presumably dead mother.
puck seems to be her sibling as they refer to each other as brother and sisters and puck being the older one.
Beako cried for her mother and says she does it all for her or to bring her back.
Puck decided to vanish when they went to the Greed witch grave, for unknown reason.

Solution:
The witch of greed did experiments on half breeds on this domain for her greedy purposes in this procces during her life time she MAYBE created PUCK and BEAKO and in this case being their mother.
Why u ask i think this? Puck vanished possibly to not be by his mothers graveyard as its heartbraking for him. BEAKO shuts herself in comepletly lonelyness in her libary to burrow her sadness over her mother in books. Puck adopted a “I dont care“ type personallity.
BTW THE SAME PERSONALLITY THE WITCH OF GREED HAS.
Subaru himself stated that the witch of greed is similiar to puck, and by this statement she seemed happy about it and said subaru should greet him from her.
They dont have to be sympatisants with petelgeuse but they COULD all be worshipping the witch of greed. And considering that the mathers made a pact with her. I think this is a decent theory.

The Arc 4 is great and everything, but have you forgotten about Arc 6? You announced that it has the highest priority but Arc 6 Ch.34 was being translated for a week or so, and Ch.35 has been left untouched by you for around 2 weeks already or for how long it’s been out. Why don’t you return to it before translating Arc4 Ch.36?

I said Arc 4 has highest priority and I’ll do Arc 6 using extra time… although, I was planning to start on Arc 6 35 earlier. But because I’m doing full chapter releases for Arc 4, there weren’t many good opportunities to work on it.
Tappei hasn’t released Arc 6 Chapter 36 yet, so I kept putting it off but I do plan to start on it soon.

As always loved your work you have made a new fan of your mind-blowing work chicken(I’m talking about me) 😂😂😂As for Subaru I’m pretty much get used to his dieing again & again. I hope he also loves his death as much as I like your translations.

This is Interesting thats why shes stay in the library for a long long long time just read and wait whats gonna written in the gospel BTW You done it ahain Chicken sama once again THANK YOU VERYVERY MUCH for your wonderful translation as always I wonder what will happen to Subaru after she kicked him out of the forbidden librqry I wonder? <3<3

Nice I’d read the manga of re zero but the manga ends in the episode 18 which in the manga version Really this August 22 2017 they will gonna release the next volume thanks for the info I will look after it.. XD

I’m kind of speechless! That was such a POWERFUL chapter that I really don’t know what to say other then I hope Subaru can “fix” this mess. Poor Betty : ( but at least now I’m super curious to learn more about her and why she is so reliant on this gospel. Thanks for another great translation. I know you must have had a bit of a ruff time translating a chapter this long.

It may be some kind of spiritual parent she affiliates herself to. I dunno either. It’s like those characters in anime who find older/younger sister/brother in other people, even if they aren’t blood related. Maybe someone was like a Mother and a Father(apparently?) to her, and she refers to them as such.

Yeah guys… Don’t pay attention at the hints the chapters are giving into the small details… ar all.
Everything that is being said by each of the characters, is being said for a reason. You don’t even have to think hard about the details, just let them in the back of your mind and the next chapters will connect the dots for you. But any conclusion you may reach, don’t dismiss it ot let it slip away – is all I’m gonna say.

You always think someone ( or something who knows ) as you mother because he/she made you or he/she protected you in your childhood .
The same with some robots in movies that say theirs creators ”father” and such .

Just to clarify for some commenters, I wasn’t complaining about the repeated use of trembling, just pointing it out.
I actually find it a great literary device used by Teppei and wanted to clarify if it was the actual author using it for some foreshadowing hehe…

I think when you deviate from your own gospel it becomes blank like for example Petelguese dying probably deviated from his gospel. And if the witch’s cult members had followed their own gospels they would have kill subaru and Petelguese wouldn’t have seen or heard of him. Also the gospels probably don’t change but the ones Roswaal and Beatrice have (or maybe just Roswaal) probably change depending on Subaru because I think Roswaal said something about having the advanced or better version of it. In which i think Dona (Echidona) made hence the name ‘Experimental Grounds’ and it just goes blank if the holder deviates on their side and make subaru die like in this chapter. Or he just straight up gets killed and you know, die. Because if subaru dies the time line gets reversed and it doesn’t created a brand new one either *(probably because i remember one time when subaru died he heard Satella’s voice and it said ‘Time, which was irreversible, begun to roll back’ I think the was in the unshown 2nd death loop after the fight with the white whale. Tc translated it and if he reads this he’ll put the link Right tc? 😀 ) Anyway if none of that is right then maybe Beatrice was just going to die idk ;-;

I…I was really speechless after reading this… This chapter was so intense and heavy. The details on how Subaru suffered so MUCH agonizing pain and horrifying despair. His explosion of anger, regrets and wanting to kill himself was so great..and wow! the details on how they portrayed that was so, so amazing and vivid.. And expanded my interest on Betty’s mystery.

When I was reading the chapter, my thoughts were like: Oh sht.. Oh no.. No, no no.. Please, oh please just let him, let Subaru die. Please let him die already. Kill him already. Please JUST KILL HIM! LET HIM DIE! MAKE HIM RESET TIME! UNDO EVERYTHING! JUST PLEASE LET HIM DIE! END HIS SUFFERING AND EXIT THE CRUEL CURRENT WORLD TIMELINE! JUST DIE!

Oh man… This is really giving me dark thoughts… Oooohhh but I so love this..So, so love this.. Ahh~
Looks like I got my wish of having more intense heavy chapters.. Thank you for the great, intense chapter update, Chicken! Hope to read more! 😀

Probably because Beako has a gospel which implies she is apart of the witch cult. With her power level and also Roswaal’s power level they could probably be at an archbishop level, such as wrath and lust. This is all just speculation. I’ve always thought Beako was a spirit and Beako has always looked lonely so that could be a reason why she would want to revive the witch of envy whom she could possibly see as a mother figure. In the anime, I remember Roswaal saying to Ram that he wanted to kill the dragon(the one that makes a pact with the king and imprisoned satella) and Roswaal also had a bible in the sanctuary. Does anyone else have any theories?

I may agree! She could even be envy! I would say Elsa could be lust and Mathers could be wrath. With Subaru as pride it seems all the other sins don’t necessarily need to be the typical villain as sloth greed and gluttony and could have opposing views such as Elsa & Mathers

Man, what a thrill! Thank you for doing this great work of translation! I sure think you should have help by now…
By the way, this is a comment only about the light novel itself, not to your work: I just had my fill of mystery box! I can take it anymore, I feel as of now cooked in a pan for far too long, so I’ll march to Wikia and quench my curiosity,! I’mm probably keep reading these chapters though 😛

Damn, there’s so much I want to know right now that I suffer everytime we are left with a lot of suspense…Beako is really something, didnt see that coming from her, its kinda sad and I mean it ;.; Thx again for that great job, will be waiting like…. everyday for updates >3

How are you translating this series, are you Japanese (or have Japanese family), or are you just really good at Japanese? This seems like some tough translating and I have never seen anyone ask, so I figured I would (I don’t read many comments, so maybe they have asked lol).

My native language was Chinese, which gave me quite an advantage with learning Japanese since I can instantly understand all the Kanji characters.
For tools, I use Weblio online dictionary, Baidu translate and Google translate.

Kryptonite I hope you read the email I sent you last night…
I’ll try to send another one, but there’s a chance the @haymail.com email isn’t a real email address.

I don’t want you to be upset with me… The fact that you are reading my translations should mean that you at least enjoy reading them. And that’s all I care about.
I’m not angry with you, but it leaves me in a bad mood to have to read comments like that, and even worse to have to reply to them.

That was so bad for betty, i really hope that her intention have a resolution/explanation soon enough because i really like her but somehow i understand the anger on subaru because what she say/do doesn’t make sense always

You should try and establish a schedule of sorts for these, rather than trying to crank them out as fast as you can whenever you arent busy. It starts to wear and tear when you see something will be posted tomorrow to then wait half a week for a draft let alone a chapter. At least with specified days if something doesnt get posted its safe to assume you went out and tried to save the planet for the 86th time. Or got sick.

(Edit2: I tried sending this email last night but it seems the destination address wasn’t valid, so I reposted it here)

Hey Kryptonite, it’s TranslationChicken!

I deleted your comments this morning because I found them a bit rude. But since you’re upset that I deleted them, I thought I should send you an email.
I really do appreciate everyone who comes to read and I wasn’t angry at you.

I translate because I enjoy it, and I’m not charging money for the translations or even putting advertisements on the website. So I really didn’t want to reply to comments like that.

isn’t Beatrice’s mother the jealous witch, cause when Subaru went to the forbidden library when the witch cultists were attacking, she stole the gospel from Subaru and referred to it as ‘mother,’ or maybe the book is controlled/ is a different spirit altogether

Mr chicken,i’ve recently just found out about your translations and binged the hell out of them so i just wanted to thank you for doing this.Also how many chapters are there left in this arc?,just curious

Been reading for a while and am glad to see so much love for this series and for someone to take the time to translate it is great I am a big anime watcher and this is the first series to ever make me read the web novel and I am going to start sending out more post because I always love taking about this series and am glad there are people that feel the same way all bow down to the all mighty chicken lol

OK, I was right matching Beatrice with the Witch Cult, I suspected it with the last two visits to the Forbidden Library, but still, I don’t get if she’s a Sin, Satella’s daughter or something like that, or maybe an ex-Sin, that also makes sense with how she reacted when she noticed Betelgeuse death… hmmm, I still think that Beako is the most interesting character in all of Re:zero…. interesting

Ali Adolf
July 14, 2017 at 10:59 am
Damn i read the web novel lol. All arc 4 and damn chicken shit is about to get real here. Rooswal u @#@#

This is probably an issue only for those like me. Reading this, even though there’s nothing specific, messes up the story some for me. I now know that Roswaal is a part of this/about to do something, and it ruins the suspense. Maybe I’m reading this comment wrong, maybe not. But if there are comments that spoil anything at all, especially the more recent in the translated story it is, the more it ruins the story for me. Could you delete comments like that, Chicken? Like I said, I might be reading this comment wrong. If that’s the case, ignore what I said about that specific comment. But it really bugs me that I have the chance of having the story spoiled while reading these comments. Also sorry for wasting so much space with such a small complaint

I tried to find as much spoilers as I can and I still try to find more but I am still exited for what will happen and I really want to see how the author will show it .
I don’t know some of the details here and there also . I don’t know . I don’t think spoilers ruin the moment at all for me .

I am even grateful that i read all these spoilers a lot of time before the anime ended because the ending of the anime could have made me lose all interest to it .

It just depends on the person. For me, when I hear/read a spoiler, I read the story thinking “when will *spoiler* happen?” I’m no longer wondering what’ll happen, I wonder when something specific will happen

When I read the story I am thinking ”how is this going to happen ” , ”how Subaru will get from this situation to the other ending i read on the spoiler ” . I learn more about the characters and the details than many spoilers gloss over .
You are right that it depends on the person , but I can speak only for myself and I really think it makes the story more enjoyable for me .

Oh end let’s be honest here , in most of the series you don’t really think ”can the protagonist manage to survive and/or achieve his goals . It it a given since he has a plot armor . And this is the reason that I think that Re:Zero is bashed a lot about for no real reason . They say ”Subaru can’t die so I can’t possibly care about him ” . Well when i read One Piece I know Luffy will not die anytime soon but I still care about him and the rest of the characters , as well as the plot .
In fact Subaru has more things to worry about , and I find myself care about what will happen with him more since the author can just keep making his life miserable and torture him physically AND MOSTLY mentally (which some series ignore some times , or don’t do it in the same level ) and this kind of torture is a lot worse than most of what other characters in other series face .

As for the when will *spoiler* happen?” thing I find myself doing it some times as well .
For example when Subaru went in the mansion for the first time after arc 3 and Frederica attacked him from behind and he lost consciousness I was like ”wait did Elsa came so soon wtf” . I didn’t think about it for a long time since it was way too soon but still it didn’t really ruin the moment for me .

Of course i am sure it is done … like I said the reason he is doing arc 6 is because he wants to read about sth cool that will happen . He didn’t even do the whole arc 6 . He started from chapter 30+ .
Also it isn’t like Arc 5 can be totally skipped . He just read some spoilers for arc 5 .

Lastly am I the only one that thinks this question isn’t so good .
I mean 4<5<6 . Come on guys . How can you do arc 6 before finishing the previous arc . This isn't random stories put together but 1 big story .

Hey Chicken, first time reply! Thank you for all of your hard work, absolutely a blessing and joy to read these translations.

Incredible chapter, that’s all I have to say about that xD!

Question for anyone (or you, Mr. Chicken): Earlier it was mentioned that subaru has killed himself with a knife, which, if I recall from some chats on reddit, was a loop omitted from the anime. Would you or anyone else who’s reading this happen to know where I may find a translation for that particular chapter?

Super late reply but, it’s actually just after the anime. Either one of the interludes you can read or right at the start of arc 4. It wasn’t explained in much detail, just after he made it back to the capital and saw Rem lying there with no-one remembering her, he killed himself and immediately restarted in the same place.

Belteguese=Sloth
Subaru=Pride
Then there’s Wrath and Greed.
Leaving Vanity/Lust, Gluttony, Envy.
Beako must be Envy… ;-; OMG that’s so sad! I’m like, “Why does it have to turn out like I didn’t want it to! ToT It’s so good!”
Not only do we not know if Rem will wake up, she may not even be alive ;-; Ty for another chapter TC, it’s nice having something to keep me out of trouble.

Well neither me nor the other guy wrote the word ”authority” . So you just assumed that i mean authority and not witch right .

But leaving that aside what you said doesn’t really make sense since authority of sloth for example means that you have the power to control the unseen hands , but some times less or more depending on the user .
The which of Sloth HAD the AUTHORITY of sloth but was also a witch . Satella is the witch of Envy AND she has the authority of Envy . The only wrong statement I could make would be to say she is the archbishop of Envy , which is wrong .

Woah woah woahhhhhhh…
😱😱😱
got goosebumps down my spine! I feel so bad for Subaru I wanted him to die and end his misery, start again from zero but yeah kinda predict beako would interfere T_T but noooo… can’t let Rem die!!! she’s even barely alive.
I felt the heaviness of this chapter, another argument between beatrice and subaru… i wonder what was her position or something tho… Beatrice, always the mysterious type of girl.
wooooh. this is a lot to take in… deep breaths deep deep breaths…
Subaru what to do 😰 please go back to the trials 😮
As always chicken sama and the whole team thank you for this

1. Betty is one of the witches, who has yet to die (or died and is like Echidona and attached to the library like the tomb.) But since we’ve met envy, wrath, pride, sloth, and greed… That would leave Gluttony and Lust… Now I doubt that she is lust… But lets say that she’s gluttony.. That would explain her refusal to answer Subaru’s question on if she remembered Rem. She doesn’t want to risk losing Subaru and being alone. which is very possible because if Subaru found out, that would mean that Betty is indirectly responsible for Rem’s state and continued state. And for some reason she refuses to help Rem.

2. Betty is an arch bishop. Now I’m not certain, but I’m pretty sure that the cult would refuse to have an arch bishop named Envy… I Think that name would be reserved solely for the witch of Envy. But since we have already met Sloth, Pride, Greed, and Gluttony.. that leaves only Lust and Wrath. Once again, I do not see Betty as lust.. So that leaves wrath. Not really much to say after that.

3. But to me, the most likely answer is that she’s none of those things. She’s not actually apart of the cult in the first place.. Rather, she’s the daughter of Envy.. And through some strange attachment, has that completely blank gospel as a way to stay connected to the mother whom no one could possibly reach.

Oh damn… These last chapters are C4 for my poor shattered heart. Everything is tearing apart.
WTF are Gospels? What controls them? WHY Beatrice, that little-cute-tsundere-loli, have a Gospel? Isn’t she supposed to be like Puck, I mean, a greater spirit or something? Does this mean even Puck has one of them? Aren’t both of them against the Witch cult?
Why is everyone having family problems over here (LOL)? Again this Mother… can she be the Witch of Envy?
Thanks a bunch for your amazing work, Chicken! You really drove me to tears. ❤ I hate you (kidding of course), don't stop please.

Beako you do have free will…. the gospel was blank so why did you have to lie? Expressing yourself to the people you care about can alleviate your loneliness. If you could just reach out I’m sure people would be willing to spend time with you. Being abandoned by her is very saddening but I’m sure Subaru is the one you are waiting for so be less lonely please