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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Amber decided that school was not for her. Fortunately, she had loving and supportive parents.

One day Amber was offered an exciting new job. To celebrate, she added an apostrophe to her name, thinking it would make her seem more sophisticated. Again, her parents were supportive.

Unfortunately, introducing herself as "Amber - the apostrophe is silent" did not yield the results Amber was hoping for. Still, she did make some new friends at work: Cassie the C...er...Cat, and "Long Lips" Lisa.

Of course, every job has its hazards:

Which Lisa and Cassie were always there to commiserate with:

Then one day, after an unfortunate misunderstanding between the girls and a city health inspector looking for "clogged plumbing", disaster:

Amber said goodbye to her newfound - albeit diseased - friends, and despaired over finding another job to suit her rather unique skill set and wardrobe. Fortunately, her ever-supportive parents were way ahead of her:

At first I thought those things on the last cake were oysters on the half shell. Then I decided they look more like hummus...mounds? Hillocks? Bumps? And are those coffee beans, or roly-poly bugs? I need new glasses...

I think the items surrounding the pole dancer are customers. Squint a little (or remove your glasses if that helps) and you can see that the blobs are faces of pasty white men (thus my "don't sue me" name). The parsley is sad, middle aged man hair (again, please don't sue) and the coffee beans are the eyes and mouths. Obviously this is the first time these men have been to such a show, and that is why they are agog. The sprinkles of what I assume (and can only hope) is cocoa powder seems to be five o'clock shadows. (Please don't sue me!)