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University bloodbath provokes outrage

Northwestern University came under fire this week after a demonstration held by a biology professor which involved the dissection of real live frogs.

Around 100 students stayed for the optional session after being given an opportunity to leave. The professor apologized for the bloodbath, admitting that it had been “inappropriate” of him to allow the after-class demonstration.

“Typically we watch such things on videos instead, to avoid offending anyone. This was a lapse in judgment,” he said in a prepared statement.

Journalists wrote about the sensational story, opening up online comments sections to hoards of outraged members of the public. One said: “How dare they waste donors’ money with this outrageous act! Students can learn about biology without having to witness actual biology! Turning our universities into scenes of amphibian massacre is not what we send our kids for.”

Another remarked, “Using real frogs in the classroom is a disgrace. What’s next? Real telescopes in astronomy class? Real instruments at piano lessons? Real food at culinary school? There are other ways to learn.”

The besieged professor told students the gory slaughter was a “beneficial” way to learn about anatomy.

Northwestern University has launched an investigation into the incident, which it says is “greatly disturbing and nothing to do with real education.”

While the students who actually attended the class claim to have found the demonstration useful, people who weren’t there have called for an apology from the school.