You Wannit? You Gottit!

Back a few years ago when I was doing a lot of reporting on security companies working in Iraq, I was always amused, surprised, sometimes forced to laugh out loud at how often it seemed that the security company was just a shell offering to do any number of things they'd never done before but would be happy to figure out how to do if you gave them a contract. And when we were poking around in the background of American Police Force, the gonzo security outfit which took over that prison up in Montana, it seemed like pretty much the same story. Only to an almost infinitely more comical degree.

Among the services? Surveilling your cheating spouse, security for convoys in Iraq, rescuing kidnapping victims. And if rescuing kidnapping victims ain't your bag, APF will also kidnap people and hold them for ransom for you. (This latter part may actually just be a matter of sloppy writing. But with APF, who knows. They want to serve your needs; whatever they might be.) Sort of like working either the management or labor side of Labor Law. Similarly, they'll either provide protection from WMDs or provide you with WMDs. Whichever side you want to play. Also, "covert pregnancy testing."