The Manicure

My hands carry the war wounds of serious work in the kitchen. They are a badge of honor.

I need help with a serious dilemma. When we moved to Los Angeles over 27 years ago, it was my first time in California. There were many striking sights and unusual phenomena (use your imagination!) but one of them, believe it or not, was the prevalence of nail salons. Long before there was a Starbucks on every corner there was a manicurist. To me it was absurd.

When I was growing up, manicures were extremely rare – and reserved for very special occasions (for my mother that is, not me!). But assimilation takes it toll and what once seemed ridiculous to me has now become an appetite. I find myself admiring the beautifully polished nails of the women around me – love those summer pinks and oranges – and feeling like my broken, chipped, uneven ones pale in comparison.

I pick up the phone to make an appointment.

Then I think about the time. I have so much to do. How can I just sit there for half an hour (a whole hour if we do my toes and since I’m there already…) not doing anything? A friend of mine downloads Torah classes onto her iPod and listens while her nails are being buffed and filed. I always thought that would be a good idea – if I had an iPod.

I considered that it could be a nice chance to just schmooze but then I reflect that my Vietnamese is weak. And I can’t read since my page-turning fingers would be otherwise occupied.

I accept it’s not going to happen.

Then I glance at my peeling cuticles, compare them to a magazine ad I just saw and reconsider. I dial the number.

Wait! How can I spend the money? Even though, with all the aforementioned competition, the prices are relatively low, it could still be used for other things. Charity or my nails? The choice seems made for me.

I go back to the kitchen. Even if I went, I tell myself, I have no patience to sit there while my nails dry. I’ll only end up leaving early and smudging them – the worst of all worlds. I give up.

Like professional chefs, my hands carry the war wounds of serious work in the kitchen – the burns, the cuts, the calluses. They are a badge of honor. They testify to chores done, a house maintained, a family cared for, a life being lived. They are hands to be proud of – even without (especially without?!) the polish.

I can let go of the temptation. I can return to more worthwhile pursuits. I can regain perspective. The Almighty gave me hands to do mitzvot. And I’m trying to fulfill that mandate. A manicure would be a distraction from their real function.

I’m not even going to glance inside the nail salon as I walk by. Well, maybe just a peek. You take walk-ins? That fuchsia looks so terrific…

About the Author

Emuna Braverman has a law degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters in in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy from Pepperdine University. She lives with her husband and nine children in Los Angeles where they both work for Aish HaTorah. When she isn''t writing for the Internet or taking care of her family, Emuna teaches classes on Judaism, organizes gourmet kosher cooking groups and hosts many Shabbos guests. She is the cofounder of www.gourmetkoshercooking.com.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 30

(25)
Mrs.Epstein,
May 27, 2011 3:40 PM

Beauty schools offer inexpensive salon services

The students are graduating seniors. You can get a manicure for $2 done by a very enthusiastic students of any age. You are helping the students get some practical hours so think of it as a type of tzedaka. You can also get a facial,a new hair-do,massage,or other treatment depending on the school.

(24)
Anonymous,
May 22, 2011 8:58 PM

sometimes it is worth it...

I live in a place where manicures are the normal thing to do, I really would like to have it every week, the time I take off to care for myself makes me feel pampared, rested and ready to face my home again. We have them in salons, or at home if we want. Sometimes I make my nails myself, just to look at my hands and see them clean, cut, polished ( sometimes), even if I work to feed my big family, to be clean, neat, pleasant looking and presentable is a big thing for me and well cared hands are part of it. In my country even the cleaning ladies and maids have their hands made for the weekend, why not take care of myself lichvod shabbos??? About the under the nail dirt, wash it very well, as always, with a little brush and soap, even without the polish, before handling the food preparation...

(23)
TMay,
May 22, 2011 3:44 AM

what I discovered

I tried a manicure once and much to my surprise I discovered that under the nail and nail polish when you couldn't see through your nails, your nails could become really dirty. I mentioned it to a doctor in an informal conversation and he said the rule at the hospital was that nurses and other people who worked hands- on with patients could not wear nail polish on their fingers at work because of that problem. Pedicures are another matter entirely. You use your feet for walking and I consider taking care of them part of health maintenance. In Calif it costs $11. and they can reach your feet and see them better than you can. Even men are discovering pedicures but not with the polish. Just be sure they are practicing proper hygiene.

(22)
Rachel,
May 18, 2011 3:14 AM

Treat Yourself to Feeling Like a Lady

I am a skin care & a massage therapist who cannot get manicures and I have to keep my nails real short for the clients, and I hate the feel of nail polish, too. But the facials I give help people look and feel wonderful. When people come for my services, they are providing me with parnassah- the highest form of tzedaka. Looking good might give them the confidence to accomplish a goal or may make a woman look pretty for her date or her husband. Just because my hands do chessed doesn't mean there's a mitzvah for them to be ugly, and just because I give people a friendly face doesn't make it a mitzvah for the face to look dreadful when it could look lovely. Take th money for the manicure out of something else, such a fattening desserts that you might be serving on Shabbat, eat fruit instead, and make your hands and your figure look nice.

(21)
Leah Bleiberg,
May 18, 2011 2:52 AM

hands that work deserve a treat

Exactly because your hands work, they deserve some pampering. (I, too, choose the buffing, no polish, since it doesn't get ruined.) And while I'm there, I get a 10 minute massage for my overworked shoulders. And when I go with my Mom, we have quality "feel good" time together. Small price to pay for a little relaxation and luxury. No guilt!!

(20)
Anonymous,
May 17, 2011 9:41 PM

good point

i like the points. in todays day, the most orthodox women are busy with their nails. not that i have an issue with getting a manicure, i just think it's gone too far. Reb elya lopian wouldn't eat at a house if the one running it wore nail polish. getting your wig done doesnt' compare, we have to look presentable, but to what degree?

(19)
Rosabel,
May 17, 2011 8:05 PM

Manicure

Thanks for the thought...made me feel better...I've got all the battle scars too, and at times am ashamed to show my hands....not anymore. Helping to raise 13 chidlren, clean houses, many, many meals cooked, 8 hour job then come home clean house, do laundry, I don't think my hands need comaper to FOTUS who probably has never done a dish in her life. I've got the hands of a warrior.

(18)
Anonymous,
May 17, 2011 7:23 PM

Pedicures and Freedom

I completely appreciate the tone of the article, and could easily apply it to other 'gashmiyus' temptations. But I have a confession to make: this leaning to the left business on Pesach as a sign of freedom just doesn't do it for me! Want to know what REALLY (I can share - it's anonymous, after all!) makes me feel like I haven't a care? Getting a pedicure! Oh, the luxury! I try to do it once a year, for my birthday, though sometimes I'm too busy to find the time to sit for an hour. As a frum woman I cover my feet, so the only ones to enjoy my purple toe nails are my daughters, who delight in the fancy! Of course, my yoga mates also get to see my feet, but I'm sure they're too busy with their own poses to take too much note. As for my hands? A working woman's pride. Oh, for my daughters to grow old enough to do the dishes!

(17)
David,
May 17, 2011 6:33 PM

Oh, come on...

"The Almighty gave me hands to do mitzvot. And I’m trying to fulfill that mandate. A manicure would be a distraction from their real function."
I assume you also wear nothing but drab, shapeless clothing, second-hand shoes, you've never read anything for entertainment, never seen a movie, never had your hair or shaitel styled or combed, never... dear me! Is that a necklace and earrings you're wearing in that picture?! And makeup?? The fuchsia is a good idea-- go with it.

(16)
Anonymous,
May 17, 2011 5:41 PM

Special gift to my 84 year old mother--manicures

My mother never had manicures--not even on special occasions.
I heard that paraffin wax manicures were very good for arthritis.
On Mother's Day last year when my mother was 84 years old, I bought her 10 manicures and pedicures with paraffin wax. She loves it. Whenever she goes she calls me and tells me how special and appreciated the gift was. She didn't have anything philosophically against manicure--just no time and no money.

(15)
Michal,
May 17, 2011 5:12 PM

My hands- my life

Whenever I am asked if I have any cleaning help at home, all I have to do is show them my hands and nails. No further questions necessary.
However, it is a nice treat to get a manicure on occassion. I usually end up with clear polish because I never have the patience to let the polish dry!

(14)
Anonymous,
May 17, 2011 3:58 PM

WHO GOES TO SUCH PLACES

AN ALTER YID ONCE TOLD ME THAT IN HIS TOWN THERE WAS ONLY ONE LADY WHO GOT HER NAILS DONE- THEY WEREN'T ALLOWED TO WALK DOWN HER BLOCK - VEHAMVIN YOVIN

Leah,
May 17, 2011 9:13 PM

Oh please........ and she also had a smile on her face, too- Heaven forfend!

(13)
judy,
May 17, 2011 3:12 PM

Try buffing

I don't have the time or patience for regular manicures, or usually the cash, either, but when I do, I ask them to buff my nails rather than polish. It saves a lot of time, and there' s no chipping either. The effects seem to last longer, too.

Jo,
May 18, 2011 1:04 AM

I agree

I love the clean, shiny look of nails - buffing does just that - I have a manicure tool from TEMPTATION (from the Dead Sea)...

(12)
Bubie12,
May 17, 2011 3:07 PM

The author says it for me!

As a retired educator, with many volunteer interests plus a love of gardening, I've had two manicures in my 81 years. I admire others whose nails are "perfect" and look at my own which are easily broken, cracked and uneven. "I just don't seem to have the time" to sit and wait through the whole procedure, knowing that when I go home, I will want to weed or cultivate my garden. I guess I never thought of it before, but my unmanicured nails are "me" .

(11)
Anonymous,
May 17, 2011 2:50 PM

Cute article

I have much the same feelings about manicures. Article was cute and well written.

(10)
Rachel,
May 17, 2011 2:36 PM

A manicure can be a mitzvah too

My mother was losing her eyesight. After my father's death, she lived alone. I visited as often as possible (from several states away); my youngest sistter made the 4-hour roundtrip nearly every weekend.
On my last visit, my mom could no longer see to cut her toenails. I'm a stroke survivor and haven't been able to manage my own nails in years. "Let's go to the nail salon together" I said. "The manicurist will be horrified when she sees the state of my nails" said my mother (who always was more concerned with putting other people's concerns first than she was with her own needs.) Nevertheless, she consented to go.
I spoke to the manicurist first. "My mother is very frail now" I told him, "She will not be able to undergo firm massaging. And if you could let her stay in the pedicure chair for the manicure, she would find that more comfortable; sitting in a regular chair to get her nails done would be too tiring and uncomfortable for her." "No problem" said the gentle Vietnamese man, "we have old people come here all the time. I promise, we take good care of your mommy."
My mom and I had never gotten a manicure together. It was nice to sit and talk -- our hands in someone else's, our feet in a soothing bath, unable to just jump up to answer the phone, attend to the laundry in the dryer, start preparing dinner, pay some bills....
That trip, in July, was the last time I saw my mother. I called her nightly, of course. On an evening in mid-August, I called to tell her that I'd made flight arrangements for my daughter and I to visit her over Labor Day weekend. "You don't have to do that" she said. I told her we wanted to come. "Besides, you'll need another manicure by then, and we'll all go -- Grandma, mom, and granddaughter." "That sounds like fun" said my mom. She was very tired and had a doctor's appointment the next day so I told her I loved her and said goodnight.
She died next morning. I think of her every time I go to the nail salon.

(9)
Anonymous,
May 17, 2011 2:31 PM

I ttly agree!

Its so funny because when i was in high school, my teacher mentioned the same idea, in relevance to Pesach...in the end i think manicures are a personal decision, but i pride myself in not getting them. I found this article very interesting, because it was nice to see this idea being thrown to the public.

(8)
miriam,
May 16, 2011 7:38 PM

i identify with this

Not that I want a manicure, but how every moment of a mother's busy life is so measured! It's incredible!

(7)
Anonymous,
May 16, 2011 7:02 AM

for the hubbie

My husband loves when I have manicured hands. Its for him!

(6)
Anonymous,
May 16, 2011 3:30 AM

i totally identify with this!

I have the same feelings towards manicures as the author! very cute article

(5)
lauren inker,
May 15, 2011 11:03 PM

relax

the world will not shift on its axis if you spend half an hour in a nail salon. go with a friend. it is a nice way to catch up

(4)
Anonymous,
May 15, 2011 7:50 PM

Oh yes!

I am totally with you! I wish I had a chance to get a manicure (or even do my own nails!) but with small kids, work, cooking, and cleaning, sometimes it's hard to find time to just file them when they break :)

(3)
Anonymous,
May 15, 2011 7:49 PM

solution

this is cute, but definitely not a serious dilemma. we all grapple with what's the norm, and what's overindulgence, as the standards change with time, place, culture, and stage of life. one solution: do your own nails, quicker, cheaper, almost as pretty. or, occasional manicures, like for yom tov, or rosh chodesh.

(2)
SusanE,
May 15, 2011 7:00 PM

Hmmmm....interesting.

I also have never had a manicure or a pedicure. ~~~~~~~~~~ But my Grandmother went once a month for a manicure and got her hair done once a week. There was no vanity involved. No children ever went hungry because of it.
Do you have a sister or a friend or one of your kids, who would do your nails for you if you can't do it yourself? A 5 minute olive oil soak in warm water a few nights a week keeps hands and feet lovely. Nail files and good nail enamel are all you need. You don't have to choose between presentable hands and charity. Think of it as buying a toothbrush and toothpaste..... a necessity.

(1)
Anonymous,
May 15, 2011 5:11 PM

I admire your dedication to home and family, but I don't think that taking a little time for a manicure is such a terrible thing. No, you don't need to do it regularly, but sometimes you just need to take a break and do a little pampering. Also, remember that if you don't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of those around you.

raisy,
May 15, 2011 7:49 PM

just started

I too am surrounded by friends, here in Boro Park no less, who have manicures bimonthly or weekly. I had one a few months ago--just filed and buffed--no polish. It made my hands feel neat, not to mention that it cured me of biting my nails! (a habit I've maintained since I've been in the second grade. I'm a bubby now). It was a worthwhile investment. I don't think the bright-colored nail polishes are in the spirit of tznius since they attract the eye. I stick to clear or very pale pink (resemble the natural nail color) or simply buff them so they have a natural looking shine.
I've also done my own home manicure--while reading aish.com.

Been to Boro Park, you can keep it,
May 17, 2011 7:08 PM

OMG!

A man might look at your hands with pink polish??? Chas v'sholom!!!! Maybe the women in Boro Park should be wearing gloves year-round. After seeing the way women there dress, I believe you are a few short years from wearing burkas.

Basya,
November 27, 2012 7:46 AM

A little respect please

Your opinion is yours and you own it. No one can take it from you without your permission.
If you want to share it with the rest of us, though, please express it respectfully. Just because you disagree with someone doesn't give you the right to deride them.
And sometimes something can look ridiculous to you, when you see or hear about it out of context, but if you would look into it with an open mind, you'd see that there is a lot of sense in it -- from a perspective different than yours.
Now, we don't generally have the time or interest to do that. But what we can do is respect people with the understanding that they *might* have a valid perspective even if we don't see it.