Crystal Harris Posed For July Cover of Playboy as ‘Mrs. Hefner.’ Whoops.

With five days to go until their wedding, it makes perfect sense that Playboy already had a photo of Crystal Harris as “Mrs. Crystal Hefner” in the can which you’re now looking at thanks to all the leaking going around these days. Alas, as love is wont to do, a young woman’s fancy turned to trying to make half a million dollars for literally leaving her groom’s old balls standing at the altar. Page Six reports:

A source told us, “Crystal wanted to ditch Hef at the altar. Her plan was to walk up the aisle and say she couldn’t go through with it. The wedding was to be filmed for a reality special, and her refusal to marry him would be a sensation. She was looking for a tie-in deal of around $500,000 for the exclusive ‘I ditched Hef at the altar’ interview. While there was interest, Crystal didn’t get an offer anywhere near half a million.”

Of course she couldn’t get half a million dollars. Who wants to pay for something exactly everyone saw coming a mile away? “Oh, look, a blonde gold-digging whore sold out Hugh Hefner for her own reality show. What a strange and unprecedented turn of events. How will he ever recover? *watches Hugh ride Segway to Whore Dealership* There’s a good lad.”