I slept late, did not really want to wake up. That feels strange since I like to get up early. It’s still beautiful here at the big green punk rock house at the end of the road. Johnny is still here. He’s still your little buddy. He moves a lot slower but still loves begging for food. I found his BMF collar this week. All this sorting is pretty overwhelming. I noticed one of your shelves in the shed was disarranged. It freaked me! So irrational. I found photos and fixed it. But something is missing. I will find it eventually. I still make a full pot of coffee every day. I don’t want to learn new proportions. Maxwell House is good. Reminds me of us. I’m not crying. Just missing you so bad.

Today I found this t-shirt packed away with what looks like goodwill clothes. I was so thrilled to see it. I bet he wore this shirt 1000 times. It was a favorite. And it has his life all over it. It was musty and I washed it and when I pulled it out of the dryer it felt like he was standing there ready to put it on.

But so lonely without my baby. He would have loved this day. The stream he built is flowing in perfectenschlag. BMF built this for us so every day we would have organic art with movement to look at from our bedroom. And when you walk out the sound is beautiful and birds are swooping in and out all day long. ❤️️ – thank you for this gift my love. – mc

BMF raised this creation from nothing but a flat piece of ground. He dug and moved the dirt, laid the pipe and placed every rock and every tree.

BMF ❤️ MC

Found a whole big container filled up with hundreds of Jeff’s cd burns. I shall have to go thru every single one, should take just about 10 years. I found a video of us from 2008 learning the proper way to drink absinthe. Real absinthe, the illegal kind before they legalized it. It was so wonderful to see him again with his perfect high spirit and pure true love ways. I can’t wait to watch it again.

He burned the following 22 songs, not positive when as the date is fucked up @ 12/31/1994. That is of course not right. There are no names on the 22 songs. I’ll have to listen to each and every one, but I already know it will be filled up with all the right songs to remind me of him tonight … along with another random movie pick called, Rabbit Hole. The part with the dog…crushes me with familiarity. His spirit is shining hard tonight. “You carry it around, always, like a brick in your pocket, it never goes away.” (more…)

Father John Misty
I Love You Honeybear

Listening Exercises

– 1 cold day in February
– 1 itchy eye
– 1 28 hour toddler hangover ( I love you Honeybear!)
– 1 ocean of coffee
– 1 two week old looming dread aka end of the year regulatory report (year 7)
– 1 gleeful and overdue calling out of a newbie neighbor on a vindictive rampage
– 1 ride around the hood to determine what bugs us this time
– 1 thrilling shiver of joy to be here in this great spot on earth

Father JM: The world is crazy. Our appetites and needs and fears are all crazy. Hopefully you have someone on your side who realizes the same thing.

In the meantime my legs went wonky and I just learned some guy in Europe at the MX GP got lapped. Thanks Jeff for sharing the record club today … I love you Honeybear!