Do: Speak up

"If you don't complain, you haven't really given the restaurant the opportunity to fix it," says Cognitive Behavourial Therapist counsellor, Andrew McLellan. The worst thing you can do is silently seethe: the five minutes you're angry about an overcooked steak is nothing compared to the time you spend being angry at yourself for not saying anything. Ask the waiter to replace the dish and then "accept the fact they've done what you asked, and that it was OK for you to have asked in the first place".

Don't: Be rude

Avoid embarrassing staff or apportioning blame, favouring "I" statements over "you" statements. Eg: "I think this steak is overcooked," is much better than, "You've overcooked this steak." "Think about what you do want rather than what you don't, because you might get something else that's not what you want..." advises Seifert. For example, "Don't say, 'The food is cold.' Say, 'I'd like this heated up.'" The rule here, as always, is not to get upset. "Angry people tend to be unassertive," says McLellan. "Being angry is never a good way of getting what you want."