Yup we have a bit of reflective emarrassment, but it doesn't cause a fight. My husband likes to start arguments with rude people in a passive agressive way that just enrages them and then he doesn't try to de-escalate it at all. For example...a lady will cut in front of us in line and he will say..loudly..."Don't you just HATE rude people who think their time is more important so they cut their fat ass in line." Usually this spurs said biatch into turning around and saying "What? Do YOU have a problem with it?" and it just escalates from there with insults and name calling while I quietly sneak to another line to pay for our purchase. While he has a point, he goes about it in a dick way, even though he thinks everyone around us is on our side, I'm pretty sure they think BOTH parties are assholes.

He knows I don't like it, but I wouldn't try to stop it. When we dated I resolved not to force him to change one iota (bad habit I had in previous relationships). Sure it is embarrassing, but not a deal killer so I'll just quietly excuse myself from those situations.

Ex-husband specialized in two types: the acting-like-an-idiot-and-doesn't-know-he's-embarrassing-me type, and the making-humorous-comments-to-embarrass-me-in-public type. I don't think he himself was ever embarrassed. He especially enjoyed making loud comments when we were shopping, for instance in shoe stores: "This must be your 5th pair of boots! Do you need one for every day of the week?!" etc. etc. The people around us would smile or chuckle, and sometimes I'd have a witty comeback, but inside I was seething. The acting-like-an-idiot embarrassment was nothing he could help, because as nice a guy as he was (and sometimes funny), he just wasn't very bright and ended up sticking his foot in his mouth a LOT.

That's why he's the ex. Well, that's partlywhy.

Now with boyfriend, we generally don't embarrass each other or if we do, it's more mutual. It might also be that I care a lot less what other people think of us than I did before.

bsteiny:Ex-husband specialized in two types: the acting-like-an-idiot-and-doesn't-know-he's-embarrassing-me type, and the making-humorous-comments-to-embarrass-me-in-public type. I don't think he himself was ever embarrassed. He especially enjoyed making loud comments when we were shopping, for instance in shoe stores: "This must be your 5th pair of boots! Do you need one for every day of the week?!" etc. etc. The people around us would smile or chuckle, and sometimes I'd have a witty comeback, but inside I was seething. The acting-like-an-idiot embarrassment was nothing he could help, because as nice a guy as he was (and sometimes funny), he just wasn't very bright and ended up sticking his foot in his mouth a LOT.

That's why he's the ex. Well, that's partlywhy.

Now with boyfriend, we generally don't embarrass each other or if we do, it's more mutual. It might also be that I care a lot less what other people think of us than I did before.

Add to the list: Passive Embarrassment - when your spouse sees you doing something she knows will make a fool of you, but sits back and laughs while watching instead of gently reminding you that you're about to be an ass. As in no poking me in the ribs as I launch into a diatribe about how crappy some restaurant in town is, not knowing that the person I am speaking to is the owner of said restaurant.

chevydeuce:You have to be a special kind of dick to purposely embarrass your spouse....especially in public.

The awesome kind. It's better to have earned the shiat you're going to put up with in private, rather than having her biatch at random in the middle of a good day about something that happened a decade prior.

If your SO embarrasses you, quietly back out of the conversation, and tell him/her privately in no uncertain terms that you do not feel that is acceptable behavior.

The wishy-washy non-judgmental way resolves nothing and is lying besides (if you felt it was socially/personally acceptable, you wouldn't feel embarrassed by it now would you?). Letting it go only rewards the behavior and the misperception (obviously the person thought they were being funny or teasingly cute or whatever). Either way leads to being a doormat.

Of course, if the person is simply throwing an adult tantrum, or acting out of spite, drop 'em post haste.

bsteiny:Ex-husband specialized in two types: the acting-like-an-idiot-and-doesn't-know-he's-embarrassing-me type, and the making-humorous-comments-to-embarrass-me-in-public type. I don't think he himself was ever embarrassed. He especially enjoyed making loud comments when we were shopping, for instance in shoe stores: "This must be your 5th pair of boots! Do you need one for every day of the week?!" etc. etc. The people around us would smile or chuckle, and sometimes I'd have a witty comeback, but inside I was seething. The acting-like-an-idiot embarrassment was nothing he could help, because as nice a guy as he was (and sometimes funny), he just wasn't very bright and ended up sticking his foot in his mouth a LOT.

That's why he's the ex. Well, that's partlywhy.

Now with boyfriend, we generally don't embarrass each other or if we do, it's more mutual. It might also be that I care a lot less what other people think of us than I did before.

Thanks, griffer, for proving to us all what bsteiny said: anyone who acts like this to you (or anyone else) in public is guilty of abusive behavior and needs to be shown the errors of their ways by umbrella-wielding nannies. Or ninjas. Or my kids, who will happily beat the crap out of you.

Ego edo infantia cattus:FTA: "If so, it joins the ranks of terribly useful, terribly terrible things like rabies shots, CPR training, and watching Miley twerk so that you can "take part in the cultural conversation."

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Wow, I lost interest at "evolutionary psychologists." Had to read a book on evolutionary psychology and it is bullcrap. All of it.

I hope that someday the author is in need of CPR and I can embarress her by taking a shiat on her stupid face instead of using my training to save her. There is nothing terribly terrible about CPR training. I've been a certifed instructor for over a decade and people always seem to really enjoy my classes. The training takes some people out of their comfort zone, but most often this leads to a more confidant person by days end. It 's a life affirming and enpowering way to spend an afternoon which yields a life skill that could very well save the life of the person that you love most in this world.

Ego edo infantia cattus:FTA: "If so, it joins the ranks of terribly useful, terribly terrible things like rabies shots, CPR training, and watching Miley twerk so that you can "take part in the cultural conversation."

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Be glad you did. The article was stupid as fark. I don't when Slate became lame stream but it has definitely jumped the shark.

I actually don't find anything that my husband does embarrassing. Which is really impressive, considering the FIL goes out of his way to use a new racist slur every Thanksgiving just to see if he can get someone riled up.

Thanks, griffer, for proving to us all what bsteiny said: anyone who acts like this to you (or anyone else) in public is guilty of abusive behavior and needs to be shown the errors of their ways by umbrella-wielding nannies. Or ninjas. Or my kids, who will happily beat the crap out of you.

That is the face of a woman who is embarrassed, but is up to her carefully-plucked eyebrows in politics and can't back out now because it's so nice to have all those perks that you get from it. I used to have sympathy for people like her, but have some god damn pride and walk away even if it does mean not having two BMW's to choose from. She's Hilary Clinton's assistant, it's not like she'd starve after the divorce.

Thanks, griffer, for proving to us all what bsteiny said: anyone who acts like this to you (or anyone else) in public is guilty of abusive behavior and needs to be shown the errors of their ways by umbrella-wielding nannies. Or ninjas. Or my kids, who will happily beat the crap out of you.

Thanks, griffer, for proving to us all what bsteiny said: anyone who acts like this to you (or anyone else) in public is guilty of abusive behavior and needs to be shown the errors of their ways by umbrella-wielding nannies. Or ninjas. Or my kids, who will happily beat the crap out of you.

/I'm under the assumption that griffer is around age 12 or so?

Heh. I had that guy on ignore already, so no loss there. :)

Bunch of poopy heads.

That was the POINT of the post, mama2tnt. ;)

bsteiny, really? you are missing out, sugar tits.

Fark politics are fascinating to me as a long time lurker.

If I cared more, I'd block you for the use of the phrase "sugar tits." There's really not a good enough reason, ironically or otherwise, to use it. As it is, you'll just get looks of disdain.

Thanks, griffer, for proving to us all what bsteiny said: anyone who acts like this to you (or anyone else) in public is guilty of abusive behavior and needs to be shown the errors of their ways by umbrella-wielding nannies. Or ninjas. Or my kids, who will happily beat the crap out of you.

/I'm under the assumption that griffer is around age 12 or so?

Heh. I had that guy on ignore already, so no loss there. :)

Bunch of poopy heads.

That was the POINT of the post, mama2tnt. ;)

bsteiny, really? you are missing out, sugar tits.

Fark politics are fascinating to me as a long time lurker.

If I cared more, I'd block you for the use of the phrase "sugar tits." There's really not a good enough reason, ironically or otherwise, to use it. As it is, you'll just get looks of disdain.