The times they are a-changin'

Here are just a few of the many ways growing a baby will turn your life upside-down.

• You now know where the restroom is in every public place you frequent—and even some you don’t.

• You and your dad have one more thing in common: You both carry a pack of TUMS in your pocket for emergency antacid prevention.

• Gaining weight is suddenly a good thing.

• Your big plans for the weekend include hitting the sheets a couple of hours early on Friday night—and not for the reason your main squeeze might like.

• Excruciating pain is in your future, and you absolutely cannot wait for it to get here.

• Complete strangers find it acceptable to ask intimate questions about your body and disclose personal details about themselves too. (Really, checkout lady, we don’t want to hear about your perineal tear that never healed—nor does the gentleman in line behind us.)