When you flirt with women does it lack sexual tension, and border on a job interview?

When you flirt with women do you wish you had the flirting power that some of the actor’s have in movies?

When you flirt with women do you wonder why some guys have girls hanging off them, and some struggle?

When you flirt with women are you TOO cocky in conversations, and you can feel it working until you hit a nerve and realize… not again?

Flirting is easily the hardest concept for men to get who struggle with women, dating and relationships. Most men lack the ability to understand it, and then how to work with it. The primary way to influence sexual tension is to flirt with women.

Sexual tension is essentially when there exists polarity, magnetism or, as we like to call it, “attraction”. The largest misnomer that exists is that one can create attraction – this is FALSE. Do I have your attention now? Attraction is based on polarity and magnetism, NOT on the external elements you are probably obsessed with right now…”what do I say”, “what should I wear”, “how should I stand”…

In short, flirting is where we push away with our words, and pull towards with our energy. So, a classic scenario is where the man treats the woman as being slightly beneath him in coolness (I emphasize slightly, as too much comes across as cocky – which signals insecurity). You might call her a “dork”, while smiling at her – the word “dork” is an insult, but the smile is an invitation.

It takes some balls to flirt with women, as it indicates automatically a sexual interest, which is uncomfortable for many men. What you are looking for are opportunities to insult her, point out her flaws (not physical, of course), treat her like a little sister that you don’t take seriously. Do all of this though with a SMILE – you don’t want to be taken at face value here. By pushing/pulling all in one we mix brain signals, and engage her emotionally. This is the clearest way to communicate that you are comfortable around her, and that she can be comfortable around you too.

The best flirting comments are created in the moment, based on what she is revealing to you about herself at that moment. Flirting is basically the art of insulting, but doing so with a smile.
Examples of How To Flirt With Women

(If she is asking lots of “testy” questions) “How much will you pay me once I pass the job interview?”
(then, if she continues asking questions, refer to her as “Sir”)

Now, if you struggle when you flirt with women, I suggest this and practicing them on women LIVE. I strongly believe in using the scripts from the seduction community to learn the SKILLS – but then drop the training wheels. So, the above should get you started at least. What you are looking for though is the FEELING of flirting – so, when is there an opportunity to flirt with women? How does it feel to do it? What are her reactions to the things I say? Am I coming across too harshly? IS SHE HAVING FUN??

Ultimately, if YOU are having fun then you will definitely translate your sense of humor clearly. If you are inexperienced, you are likely to mix the signals. But, guess what, you might have to bomb a time or two in order to clean up your signals – there is no replacement for live experience.

If you can do this a few times, you will start to “GET IT” and your flirting skills with women will explode.

Become a “flirt with women” machine, because you’ll use it constantly in the interaction. It’s an essential step that most guys tend to skip, or FAIL at miserably.

I’m going to reveal the most fool-proof way to attract women. You want to attract women in droves so I’ll teach you exactly how to attract women. Think about this. Why do women you see out at bars and nightclubs sometimes dress so SEXY? Let’s think about it from the woman’s perspective: An attractive woman gets attention from men all the time, no matter WHAT she’s wearing.

Attractive women don’t have to “accent” their beauty in order to attract men. A perfectly beautiful woman gets an expensive operation to make herself “one cup size” larger. A tall, stunning model spends all day at the mall shopping for just the right high-heeled shoes. A naturally beautiful woman spends hours in front of the mirror getting ready to go out, and puts on tons of makeup. AND FOR WHAT?

Could it possibly be worth all the extra time and effort, spending HOURS to get that “extra little bit” of beauty, when a woman already has “more than enough”? Hey, no one ever said women made SENSE.
To Maximize Her Strengths In Order To Attract The Best Man

Let’s imagine that an attractive woman is getting ready to go to a party. There are going to be a hundred men and a hundred women at this party. If there are going to be a hundred men at this party, it follows that a few of those men are going to be the “best” ones.

She wants the “best” one… if possible. And that guy has OPTIONS. She needs to “fix herself up”, EVEN THOUGH SHE’S ALREADY BEAUTIFUL… if she wants to have the BEST chance of getting THAT guy.

Competition From Other Women

This particular idea was one of the most interesting and surprising things I learned about women while I was educating myself about dating and attraction. Attractive women tend to be VERY competitive. While in Los Angeles, I was introduced to a concept called “The Bitch Look”. When a “hot” woman walks into a room, EVERYONE checks her out.

The “top guys”, who have options, glance at her and make a “mental note” to talk to her later. The OTHER hot women look at her and give her… yep, you guessed it…. THE BITCH LOOK. Why?

Because another hot woman is instantly seen as COMPETITION. A hot woman doesn’t want OTHER hot women competing with her for the “best guys”. So they give other women “bitch looks”. It’s competition, intimidation, and millions of years of evolution all rolled up into one special package. So let’s just say that attractive women DON’T LIKE COMPETITION. In order to MINIMIZE their competition, they FIX THEMSELVES UP… and emphasize their good points TO THE MAX. When an already-beautiful woman goes to the trouble to pick out just the right clothes… the ones that flatter her figure… and put on just the right makeup… in a way that draws attention to her finer points… and styles her hair… in a way that draws attention to her and frames her face, it puts her ABOVE the competition.
To Get The Most Attention And Approval

Now that we’ve talked about a couple of the underlying reasons why women go to great lengths to make themselves more beautiful, I want to talk about the one reason that has the most VALUE to you. This reason holds the secret of actually ATTRACTING beautiful women.

At the very CORE of human psychology and behavior are the twin concepts of ATTENTION and APPROVAL.

It just so happens that an attractive woman has a SUBCONSCIOUS, but VERY accurate indicator of whether or not “the group” likes and approves of her. It’s the amount of ATTENTION she gets. If a woman is getting a lot of attention, it keeps her feeling “OK”. She knows that on a deep, primal level when she’s accepted by the group and that she’s going to stay healthy and have a good chance of mating with a “top male”.

But this particular concept has a DARK SIDE to it, and don’t they all?

Just like anything else that triggers feelings/emotions (very addictive chemicals), attention and approval can lead to a literal ADDICTION.

It’s like money, fame, power… all the famous ones… YOU CAN’T GET ENOUGH. If you’re a beautiful woman who is always getting attention and approval from men and you meet a man who DOESN’T give you that attention and approval, it has an INSTANT and POWERFUL impact.

If the man you’re interacting with actively AVOIDS giving you attention, and gives you DISAPPROVAL in the right way, it can have the effect of instantly SCRAMBLING YOUR SYSTEMS. Attractive women don’t meet a lot of guys that could care less about her beauty, and instead see it as a “cover up” for some “hidden” thing.

If you want to learn how to ATTRACT women, then you need to get a clue about what creates the idea in her mind that YOU are one of the most “desirable” men.

How can you do that?

Become rich and famous

or

Get plastic surgery to look like Brad Pitt

or

Trigger ATTRACTION inside of her.

Here’s the interesting thing when you attract women: When you do it, she can’t CONTROL it.

When you attract women, I’ll guarantee you that she didn’t “THINK about it and DECIDE to feel it”. I guarantee you that she can’t CHANGE IT by THINKING ABOUT IT. And guess what one of the BEST ways is to TRIGGER this “automatic and subconscious” physical and emotional response called attraction IS? It has something to do with these two concepts we’ve been talking about: ATTENTION and APPROVAL.

If you’re interacting with an unusually attractive woman, it’s VERY important that you don’t communicate to her that you are “overwhelmed by her beauty”… or that you can’t control yourself. Furthermore, if you actively control the amount of attention that you give her… and you don’t show her “approval” too quickly (and even show her some DISAPPROVAL)… you’ll often create a POWERFUL interest inside of her.

Why is this?

Well, think about it for a minute. You’re the hot woman walking into the “sausage party”. For the first two hours, you keep having guys walk up to you and say, “You’re really hot” and “Can I get you a drink?”

Every guy that comes within ten feet of you can’t stop looking at you, and the ones that talk to you make it clear that they would be willing to do anything for you.

Then you meet a guy that isn’t like any of these other guys AT ALL.

He’s clearly not impressed with your beauty, and he’s even busting your balls. You can’t tell if he likes you or not, and you feel CHALLENGED by him. For some reason you can’t explain, you’re starting to feel a GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for him. NOW what do you do? That’s right: You give him all of YOUR attention and approval… hoping that he will give YOU some in return. In other words, you switch from the one being pursued to the one DOING the pursuing.

This is how you attract women. You become the pursued, which is an art form. When you attract women you have more control in your life. When you attract women you feel better. When you attract women you can focus on things that matter. As you attract women you’ll notice a difference in everything. Why? It’s why we exist.

If you’re new to seduction and dating you owe it to yourself to check some videos of David Deangelo, he’s a big name around here.

You should realize before you approach women that most attractive women are BORED OUT OF THEIR MINDS by most men. One of the reasons for this is that guys have NO IDEA what to do when they run into an attractive woman, so they do the same default thing: Dumb look, compliment. Also, you can’t BORE when you first approach women. If she’s most likely got a boring life like everyone else, and you do something that every one of the other 499 guys she’s going to walk by this month did, then you’re probably not going to attract any special attention. If you just start with the idea of NOT DOING WHAT OTHER GUYS DO you will be WAAAAYYYY ahead of the game.

This is fun, isn’t it? Bet you never thought you’d be thinking like a woman, did ya? What are a few things you might do to? Maybe NOT be like the other 499 boring, predictable, “nice” loser guys that have approached her? And BE interesting, attractive, attention-getting in a way that makes her feel like you might actually be someone to provide her with a pinch of spice in her life?

As you may have already predicted, I have a few more ideas (but don’t let that stop you from thinking about this on your own as often as you get a chance). To start with, you’d probably want to get rid of the “Wow, you’re a beautiful woman, and I’m just an average guy admiring you” vibe. That’s not helping. Next, you could take a moment and think about how a guy that she would feel ATTRACTED to might act, then choose that style.

My experience is that if you take an attitude of “I guess fate has good taste putting us in the same place, now let’s see if you have a personality to match your looks”, then stir in a generous portion of Cocky and Funny, you’re likely to do well.
A Sample Conversation on How To Approach Women

Here’s a variation of something I’ve used myself once or twice.

YOU: “Hey, can I ask you a quick question?”
[leaning back and playing it cool, talking cool and slow]

HER: “Sure”

[pause.. pause.. pause for suspense]

YOU: “Are you single?” [stone cold straight face]

HER: “Well, um…”

YOU: “I’ll take that as a yes…” [nodding, sly smile]

HER: [Laugher]

YOU: “Well, I just happen to know someone that I think might really like you… if you’re more than just a pretty face, that is… He’s funny, has great taste, and I think you’d like him… I’d love to sit down and get your life story, but I’m on my way somewhere… do you have email?” [very cool, calm tone of voice]

HER: “Yes.”

YOU: Great… [takes out pen]… write it down for me, and I’ll have, uh [clears throat] HIM send you an email.”

[Get email and get her phone number and wish the lady a good day.]

Now, let’s talk about what just happened here. First off, did I give her any compliments? Did I act like the other 499 guys? Did I instantly communicate that “I’m not worthy”? I said, “Hey, can I ask you a quick question?” in a very laid back, almost too relaxed and mysterious tone of voice (your body language is a VERY important component of this approach).

It just doesn’t make sense to some guys that teasing women, busting their balls, being slightly arrogant, not kissing up to them, etc. could or should make them feel attraction. I can understand this because I was exactly the same way the first few times I heard cocky and funny and saw cocky and funny being used. I kept thinking to myself, “If I do this cocky and funny thing, I’m only going to come across as arrogant… and that can’t make women like me more.”

Well, was I wrong.

You must always remember that ATTRACTION isn’t logical. It doesn’t follow the rules that it “should” follow. ATTRACTION is a very powerful emotion that has reasons and triggers that don’t make any sense at first glance. I’m sure you’ve seen many attractive women with guys who mistreat them, abuse them, and were exactly the opposite of what you’d expect a woman to accept.

Why?

ATTRACTION. In the beginning she felt attraction, and as bad as it may sound, almost no amount of being “bad”, abusive, or jerk-ish can convince a woman, feeling a strong attraction to a guy, to leave. So let me take the opportunity to talk a bit about the cocky and funny attitude, why it works, and how to use it to attract women (without having to be an abusive jerk). First of all, you have to remember that the formula is Cocky AND Funny. Always both.

If you act too cocky, you’ll only come off as arrogant and insecure. If you’re just funny, always telling jokes, and making people laugh, you will probably come across as “too goofy.” But if you use BOTH together, you will create magic. Cocky and funny is like sparring… it’s sport… it’s fun… it’s challenging… it’s interesting when used with skill. So let’s get clear about what “Cocky and Funny” is.

Here’s a cocky statement:

“Her dress makes her look fat.”
A Cocky and Funny Statement

“If she doesn’t find a dress that fits better, the fashion police are going to send in the SWAT team for her ass.”

Get it?

Start with arrogance, then add humor. So why does it work to attract women? Well, the short (email newsletter size) answer is:

COCKY AND FUNNY ATTRACTS WOMEN BECAUSE IT QUICKLY AND DIRECTLY SAYS ALL THE RIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOU.

Women are attracted to “alpha male” types – We all know that. Women are attracted to a sense of humor. We all know that one too. Women AREN’T attracted to men who give away their power, kiss up to them, smother them with attention, act like whipped puppies, and get nervous just being in the same room with them. And by the way, giving away power to women is a much more complex topic than using humor, etc. If you meet an attractive woman, and IMMEDIATELY start giving her a hard time about something, busting on her, and having fun, it basically says to her:

“You are interesting enough to talk to, but you’re going to have to do a lot more than just look good to impress me. Your beauty doesn’t make me nervous in the least, I’m perfectly calm, and in fact, I’m so comfortable that I just noticed something about you that I’m going to make fun of…”

There is no faster way on earth to communicate all the right attitudes, beliefs, self-image, comfort, confidence, and power than to be cocky and funny. Once you start using this attitude, you will be totally astounded at the results. Here’s a low-risk example:

Next time you’re at the grocery store in the checkout line paying for your groceries, say: “So how much of this cash do you get to keep?” (as you hand her the money)

She’ll probably laugh and say: “None… I wish.”

To which you can respond with: “Oh, I figured you were pocketing 10 or 20%… I assumed you were rich and could support me, but now I’m not interested… I want a rich girl.” (Turn up your nose)

This is a great one. It’s always fun to ask a woman if she’s rich or famous, then when she says that she’s not, tell her that it messed up her chances with you, and that you’re not interested anymore.

Cocky and Funny Do’s and Dont’s

One of the keys to the cocky and funny attitude is to never “crack.” If she opens her mouth and gives you the “I can’t believe you just said that” look, you need to turn it up a notch…

Most guys will crack and say “Oh, I was just kidding.”

DON’T DO THAT! It makes you look like a wussy. In the example above, if the checker looks at you and gives you the open mouthed “I can’t believe you said that” look and says, “Hey! I may not be rich, but I’m nice!”, you just look at her and say “Nice isn’t good enough, I need RICH AND nice.”

Your goal is not to upset a woman, but to get under her skin enough by teasing, busting on her, and acting cocky and funny so that it ignites the magical challenge/attraction mechanism. And once you can see that you’re getting a good response from a woman, GET HER NUMBER. Or get her email. Don’t stand around like a dork trying to make her laugh. As you become better and better with these tools, you can then begin “extending” the conversation… increasing the attraction… and taking things to the “next level”. So get out there and use it, because the magic formula of cocky and funny will create all kinds of good things for you. You’ll see. And if you’re reading this right now and thinking to yourself “I really need to learn how to master this cocky and funny thing”, then I AGREE!

There really is a right and wrong way to kiss a woman. If you screw up when you first kiss a woman, you can pretty much count on that ruining any future relationship. Like Hitch stated, a woman bases the relationship on the first kiss, and if you don’t impress when you kiss her…

Let’s get on with how to kiss a woman:

When you go in to kiss a woman, cup her face in both of your hands so that your palms are gently cradling her jaw line and your thumbs are just in front of cheek bones. You can also place your hands further back with your thumbs just in front of her ears if that’s more comfortable for you. This allows you to contour her face and guide it where you want her to go. This helps to avoid the possibility to kiss her too hard and too fast, which is akin to smacking her in the teeth.

In our rush to get the kiss we move too fast, or are unsure of our distance, timing and pressure and suddenly — BANG! Your loving kiss turns into a less than exciting clash of the molars! Take the time to kiss a woman.

When you kiss a woman, deliberately move her face in toward yours. I want you to look her in the eyes and slowly close your eyes as you gently bring her face to yours before the kiss. I want you to touch her lips to yours as lightly as you can and I want you to sense and pay attention to several things when you kiss a woman.

This takes practice to get good at but once you do… She’s yours! Here’s what you PAY ATTENTION when you kiss a woman:

* How much pressure is she using to kiss you?
* Is she pressing her lips hard against yours, soft?
* What kind of force is she exerting with her lips?

Also, notice the configuration of her lips for the kiss:

* Is she a fish kisser?
* Does she open her mouth very wide
* Does she keep her lips close together?
* Pay attention to what she is doing to you!

Kiss a woman gently and allow yourself to feel how she is kisses you. This is key! Don’t focus on kissing her! Focus on how she is kissing you! (Ladies, the same goes for you) This is a concept learned from “Tai Chi Push Hands” called “listening.” Its the ability to sense and interpret subtle changes in pressure and energy through your sense of touch — in this case via your lips.

Here is where “listening” meets “projection” to create her perfect kiss! Here’s how it works:

She already has an internal checklist of what a kiss is supposed to feel like for her. By paying attention to the way she kisses you then kissing her back exactly the same way, you validate her model how things work, demonstrate you are just like her and you perfectly fire off all the signals that tell her mind body and emotions its okay to go to the next level.

In hypnosis we would call this “pacing and leading.” Now Lets Sweeten the Deal a bit…

Once you have matched her particular style of kissing and you’re effectively doing it back to her the same way, you can start to direct her a bit more.

The act of kissing her the way she kisses you dramatically deepens the sense of “connection” and “rapport” she is going to have with you. Continue to pay attention to her responses. Think in terms of simply wanting to give her pleasure and paying attention to her responses when you kiss.

Once you have matched her kissing style you now have a couple of choices:

You can continue to kiss the way she does…

OR

You can slowly begin to alter your method of kissing and see if she responds by following you. When she follows you by changing her way of kissing you now have more freedom to play.
Here Are Ten Signs You Don’t Know How To Kiss A Woman:

10. She french kissed once, but never again
She slipped her tongue on you, but didn’t ever again. It could be that you’re much to eager with the tongue, remember the principle from Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo? Two steps forward, one step back.

9. Makes excuses when you go to kiss her
She says, “I have to get up early” or “I need to floss my cat”. You might need to reevaluate this relationship, you might have ruined it. If she’s not making out with you periodically, then you don’t know how to kiss a woman.

8. She’s tired when you want to kiss her
If she’s constantly yawning when you try and lay the smack down, then you need some improvement when you kiss a woman.

7. She wants to get busy with other parts of your body
This isn’t that bad. But you still don’t know how to kiss a woman, try and improve it, so you can complete the intimacy.

6. She never starts kissing you
If she doesn’t initiate, then you did something wrong. No girl no matter how shy, wont want to make out with her lover.

5. She doesn’t give you compliments
If she doesn’t say something like, “you know how to kiss”, or “I’ve never felt like kissing this much” chances are you don’t know how to kiss a woman. (or if she doesn’t make some noises)

4. She suddenly springs up “Let’s be friends” after the first kiss
You need immediate attention. See Double Your Dating.

3. She pops breath mints
If she’s popping breath mints, it could be a good sign for kissing. She might be self-conscious about her breath, or it might be yours. Always come prepared and pop them when you’re about to kiss a woman.

2. If her lips are the signs of Jolies!
Try chewing on them less, and let her lips heal so she doesn’t get some weird disease through an open wound with you.

1. She’s cheating on you
You need a lot of help so refer to number 4, then bitch slap her for being a whore. j/k

If you’re new to seduction and dating you owe it to yourself to check out our Beginners Seduction Guide.

You know, it always amazes me the lengths to which most guys will go to figure out how to meet women easier. It seems we’re always looking for a quick fix. Well, I must admit, I’m one of those guys. After all, who wants to work? I want to take things easy and lead a nice, stress-free life. But let’s face facts: I’d never meet women sitting in my apartment every day, doing yoga, and playing with my dog.

How can we meet women without having to go out every single night? Well, allow me to share my solution to meeting women with you. A little secret you may not be aware of is that guys tend to meet women from their social circle, especially the women you want to meet.

For example, let’s say you have a friend that has a sister. One day, you go over to the friend’s place, and his sister is there with a few of her friends. You’re introduced to everybody, hit it off with one of the sister’s friends, and before you know it you got a date.

How did that work?

Friend -> Sister -> Sister’s Friend.

You meet women through people you know! And this is the easiest way to meet people there is, because if you’re friends with people they know, you must be a cool guy, right? It gives you tonnes of social value.

When you go out to meet women in a bar or a club (or even to meet women on the street for that matter), you’re doing “cold approaches.” (see below)

In other words, you’re trying to meet women you have no prior social relationship with. This is why meeting women in these environments is harder, because when you meet women they go through a process of determining if you’re a creep or not, if you’re cool or not, and if you’re someone they want to meet.

When you meet women through your social circle, it’s a more natural interaction, and most of the screening has already taken place due to the fact that you have mutual friends who vouch for you. The more friends you have, the more inroads you have into meeting women. So if you can continually expand your social circle, you’ll always be meeting women. It’s important to note that you should try to include many “female friends” in your social circle. womans you have simply as “friends,” no more, no less.

Why?

Because women have more female friends than most men. And if you are in their “friends” zone, they will want to hook you up with their girlfriends. Don’t ask why, they just do for some reason.

But in order to get the most use out of your social circle, you have to have an active social life. And the best way to do that is to GO OUT AND MEET WOMEN!
Part 2: How To Meet Women Through Cold Approaches

First, Nightclubs ARE very difficult venues. Unless you’re specially suited to the party-style nightlife, these venues will be a bit daunting. And even if you are predisposed to this type of pickup, you will still have to deal with lots of competition from other men.

That said, it’s not impossible to meet women in nightclubs. But it will require you to be a little more outgoing and aggressive than other venues.

First off, when I’m in a club, I tend to like to hang out in open-air areas where I can talk to other people easier. Patios and right outside the club can be good for this. Most clubs will have some form of outdoor area where you can hang out — especially places like New York and Los Angeles where you’re not allowed to smoke inside. The dance floor can also be quite effective. If you like to dance, go out there and try dancing with the women who are dancing by themselves. If they’re not into it, move on. If they are, it’s PLAY time!

Keep in mind the time at which you’re going to the club. Usually, the later it gets, the easier it is to meet women (this is because as it gets later, people are more pre-disposed to “hook up” due to alcohol, desperation, boredom, etc.).

Second, to approach women on the street takes a bit of finesse. In America, people do tend to be a bit more private than in other parts of the world. My best advice in this respect is to actually follow the woman for a bit and see where she’s going. If she stops off at a coffee shop or a bus stop, or whatever, THAT is the time to approach her! If it looks like she’s going someplace you can’t follow her into (like her home/dorm, for instance) then you’ll have to take the chance and try approaching her cold. But make it a quick approach and include a time constraint (“I know you’re on your way somewhere, this’ll only take a second…”), get her number as quick as you can, then move on. Don’t follow her for more than a block though, that would be creepy. Real creepy.

Finally, when it comes to the “boyfriend” thing, that’s a matter of personal taste. Some guys don’t want to mess with that, others don’t care. The thing is, most women aren’t THAT committed to their boyfriends, so it’s not as big of an obstacle as you might think. The important thing to do in this situation is to try and “read” the woman. Sometimes a woman will tell you she has a boyfriend when she really doesn’t because she wants to politely reject you (and sometimes she really does have a boyfriend and wants to stay faithful to him). If this is the case, you have to look at the signals she’s giving you to see if she’s actually into you or not.

If a woman does like you and is into you, she will usually withhold the fact that she has a boyfriend. And if she does bring it up, she wants you to take the lead and “sweep her off her feet” so she won’t have to feel guilty about cheating on him. So when that’s the case, it’s time to pump up the aggressiveness on your pickup.

There are a few different proven methods for picking up women. The Seduction Chronicles summarizes many throughout it’s articles but here are the basics:

Direct and Indirect

Direct game is when you pick up a woman in a direct manner by using a direct opener. This is a common approach that yields great results. A direct approach is great for day game, social circles and other such activities.

Indirect game is best for strangers, clubs and bars. Indirect game is when you use an opener by addressing the whole group, and showing mild disinterest to the target (the woman you’re interested in). Once a certain hook point is reached, you can start to focus on the picking up that woman.

Natural and Routine Based

To pick up a woman you have to know what to say in many circumstances. Though it is true that body language accounts for most of the communication during pick up, once you have that down you can’t just hold a pose and expect a woman to pick you up. Knowing what to say, brings attraction and comfort and leads you eventually down to a more intimate relationship.

Natural game is like improv. You go from conversation to conversation, delving into deeper topics when you have something in common. It takes practice and is not for a beginner in many cases. I’ve also found that if I’m living my life the way I want to live, doing exciting things and experiencing live, natural game becomes a hold lot easier and so does picking up women.

Routine based game is memorizing certain structured conversational pieces, gambits and stories to evoke a certain level of attraction. Routine game is good for picking up women because you can have consistent results and determine whenever you’ve done something by mistake.

Have you ever had trouble when you talk to women? To talk to women can be daunting at times, especially when you feel you haven’t anything exciting or interesting to talk about. Most men feel anxiety when they start to talk to a beautiful woman they just met. This is completely normal, and should be expected when you begin to talk to women. The best thing you can do is relax. That’s first.

This feeling of anxiety usually begins as a numb feeling in your stomach which quickly escalates to your head. You talk but the words come out that don’t seem interesting or engaging, so you start doubting your abilities as a conversationalist. Then, you start asking question after question, and she seems to respond with less and less detail, eventually getting back to just one or two word responses.

You: So where did you get those sunglasses?
Her: Huh? Oh… Gucci (as her eyes roll, and then try to locate her friends)
You: Ummm… so where did you say you were from again?

If you don’t stop this downward momentum quickly, she’s going to leave. And soon enough, the conversation has taken a detour to the point of no return.

This situation usually concludes with awkward silence, and her burning words…

“Well, I guess I better get back to my friends.”

This isn’t how you should talk to women, and it doesn’t have to be.
How You Should Talk To Women

We blew it that conversation. You need to understand a few things when you first start to talk to women. First, in many circumstances this isn’t your fault. Women are often preoccupied, in an unsocial mood, drunk, or just plain mean. Don’t let this stop you from searching out beautiful women that you can talk to.

Here is the secret when you talk to women:

HAVE A BACKUP PLAN

When you have a backup plan, its like a conversational map with directions to your goal of getting a date, a number, or moving to another location. Odds are in your favor when you have a predictable and realistic goal when you talk with women. You don’t wuss out of at least trying to reach your goal. Because of this you can also steer clear of any foreseeable problems caused by you (like running out of things to say). Even with your plan, don’t let your initial conversation sound like a job interview. This is incredibly boring, and predictable.

Always view your conversation from a 3rd party’s perspective, and if you don’t like what you hear, change it up. If you do feel the conversation heading south, quickly have one thing to say or do that will make your save and continue on as if you weren’t going down.

For some really good ad lib skills, try watching Curb Your Enthusiasm, in which the main character Larry David always brings up random and funny things to discuss.

A fail safe technique is to make generalizations about women to keep the conversation spicy and interesting to her. For some reason women go crazy for it.

“Oh you (name city) girls… from what I hear (wait two seconds) TROUBLE.”
Don’t Do This When You Talk To Women

There are a few topic never to bring up when you begin to talk to women. Some topics might include: overt sex talk, politics, social problems (poverty, immigration) and religion. All other topics seem to be great, and most of those forbidden topics can be addressed but only with care and definitely not within the first five or so dates.

Never supplicate in actions or when you talk to a woman. Never ASK permission to do things, instead LEAD (Only when a woman refuses should you stop, not just casual disapproval). Never be too physical or not physical enough. Try and get a good balance, occasional touches on the elbow or small of her back are welcomed. This should help you start to talk to women in a more interesting way.

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One of the best ways to talk to women is through the technique known as cocky and funny. It’s a powerful sense of humor combined with a slight arrogance that drives women crazy! Learn about cocky and funny and other powerful conversational techniques in the bestselling ebook Double Your Dating.

To get a girlfriend is one of the hardest accomplishments for many men, even pickup artists. So the question remains, how do you get a girlfriend? If you’ve yet to meet women, you should do that first. This guide is for guys or pickup artists who are casually involved with a woman and want them as their girlfriend. Because hey, once you meet a cool woman, you should learn how to keep her.

Step 1: How To Get A Girlfriend

First, you must understand that what works with pickup, does not necessarily work when you want a girlfriend. You should understand that on the whole, you need to be less “jerky” and more understanding in a few areas. I’m not advocating turning into a wuss and doing everything your girlfriend wants, far from it. I’m saying, if you want a girlfriend, you should start doing the things that a girlfriend expects. Share more feelings with her, open up with her on a less superficial level, and spend more time pleasing her into the bedroom than just yourself. A quote from Neil Strauss, “If you want a woman to be your girlfriend, then make sure she has a constant supply of orgasms. If you’re missing that, then your girlfriend will likely leave soon.”

Step 2: How To Get A Girlfriend

Second, you should definitely start involving her with other parts of your life. If you start seeing a woman three or more times a week you should realize that she might expect more than just a casual hookup. This is in your court, so don’t make the mistake of saying “shes getting real clingy” when you’ve clearly been giving her those signals yourself. When you start to invite her to activities with your family, friends or work, you should realize that you are sending this woman signals that you want her to be your girlfriend.

Step 3: How To Get A Girlfriend

Third, you should now start putting off the vibe that she’s more important to you than before. If you want a woman to be your girlfriend, start treating her the way a woman should be treated in public. There’s no harm in being honest, and this is actually a super alpha male trait. By being honest with her, by saying something like, “I think you’re great. If I play my cards right, you’ll trick me into having you as my girlfriend.” (With a BIG smile) Gauge the interactions, you can usually feel when a commitment of some sort is about to hit the fan.

Lastly, be mellow about the whole situation. Never act clingy – this is a unattractive quality that comes from scarcity and jealously. Let her bring up the girlfriend situation by herself. Trust me, if you’re providing value to her life, she’ll want to be your girlfriend. Give this at least a few months of dating, and never be predictable during that time. Follow the basic rules of pickup, until you’re ready for the commitment of having her as your girlfriend. Then when you’re ready come back and follow these rules to get a girlfriend.

I’m Nick Savoy, and I run Love Systems (formerly Mystery Method Corp) and if you feel a solid “pickup” slipping away, keep these three rules handy.

SECRET #1: Bait, don’t chase

When a woman seems to be slipping away, most guys (at least most guys who don’t know Love Systems) will chase her harder. She didn’t answer the last text? Call her! Phone calls are short? Ask her out!

It’s logical, but counter-productive.

You want her to invest her time and emotional energy in you. But once you’ve asked her a couple of times, continuing to push the same offer on her will make her want it (and you) LESS.

It’s the same with any kind of investment. Let’s say your friend Joe wants you to invest in his new business. You keep dodging the question but Joe keeps asking or hinting at it. The more he does this, the more SURE you are that you don’t want to invest. And after a while, you stop answering Joe’s calls because you smell his agenda a mile away.

A BETTER WAY

What if Joe recognized that you didn’t want to invest. Instead of pressuring you, he backed off, talked about other things, and only casually once in a while referred to his business but without asking you for anything. It sounds like it’s doing well, and one day he invites you to drop by and visit.

Well, you can do that can’t you? And if you liked what you saw, what’s going to happen next? You’ll probably ask HIM if he’s interested in more investors. Just like a beautiful woman will often start hinting at date opportunities and places to meet up when you’ve got some emotional momentum going.

The first key is to LOWER THE INVESTMENT LEVEL YOU ARE ASKING OF HER. There are many ways to do this, depending on the situation, but here are some of the big ones:
# Texts instead of phone calls
# Light, fun conversation instead of serious topics
# Conversation for the sake of it alone instead of making plans
# Shorter rather than longer phone calls (and text messages)

In summary – take a step back, make sure she’s with you, and then start going forward and building momentum again… together.

SECRET #2: Be in the moment

Tell me if this story sounds familiar. You met a woman you’re interested in. She is all over you, insists you take her number, promises to make you dinner this weekend and implies that she might be the desert…

… but it’s not that same girl when (if?) you get her on the phone. She’s actually busy this weekend and doesn’t suggest another date.

Well, that’s not fair, is it?

Darn right it isn’t. Before I learned Love Systems and changed my life around, this used to get me so frustrated. Sometimes I’d even call the girl and ask what the heck happened. (There’s no point doing that either.)

To explain what’s going on and what to do, I’m going to take you on a little detour.

I love playing board games. It’s a very nerdy hobby – I’m not talking about games people know, like Trivial Pursuit or Monopoly. I’m talking about games no one has heard of – detailed games re-fighting ancient wars, and so on.

(Obviously, this isn’t something most women can relate to. But, it’s my hobby and I’m passionate about it. Since women are attracted by emotion, not logic (you should know this), the average swimsuit model will genuinely prefer to hear me passionately talk about board games and why I love them more than Mr. Generic boring her droning on about his cars and money. Like Love Systems expert Mr. M wrote recently that she feels what you feel. I’ll take passionate over bored any day.)

Anyway… there’s one game I used to play a lot called Diplomacy. It’s a game of negotiation, betrayal, and intrigue, with a bit of military strategy thrown in. I used to be fairly good, but not great. At tournaments, I’d often get to the “final table” (the top seven players, since it’s a seven-player game) and just as often be one of the first players eliminated.

Almost ten years ago, at the World Boardgaming Championships (yes, it does exist), I deliberately got a previous year’s champion drunk so he’d tell me my flaw. See, one of the lessons I learned in school from a Goldman Sachs guest lecturer was “Alcohol Works.” I stick with good advice wherever I find it.

My flaw? Not strategy. Not tactics. Not negotiation.

Optimistic self-delusion.

He told me he could pull the wool over my eyes by figuring out what it was that I wanted to believe, and then use that against me while he prepared to stab me in the back. If I was playing France and I really wanted to believe that my English ally wasn’t about to attack me, then I’d believe just about any explanation the English player would give me… Before he stuck the knife in.

“Play the board as it is, not how you want it to be.”

Board games are silly, but the lesson isn’t. It’s funny how many times I’ve repeated that exact phrase without anyone asking where or what this “board” was about. But the meaning is clear, and very applicable to Love Systems.

The woman you want was all over you last night? That was last turn. Board’s changed.

A woman is in your neighborhood and wants to come over tonight after being standoffish for weeks? Board’s changed. Tomorrow she might not want to. You’ll get nowhere by saying “but last night you wanted to,” at least no further than I’d get in a Diplomacy game saying “but last turn you didn’t have an army next to Paris.”

SECRET #3: Know Your Moves

The great thing about Love Systems being “bottom up” – we start by figuring out what works and only THEN put theories and structure on top of it – is that literally every part of attracting beautiful women can be made easier.

So, even with something as specific as how to get a girl who has drifted way back in the orbit, there’s a body of Love Systems knowledge. There are even a bunch of specific texts and things to say on the phone in the Phone and Text Game chapter of the Love Systems Routines Manual.

But I’ll give you a classic one, right now, with my compliments:

“I just met your twin.”

This works whether you haven’t talked in months or whether you just want to spark some energy. It doesn’t require major investment on her part. It implies that you are meeting other women and if some of them are similar to her and responding to you, maybe she should make her move now before you get away.

This is something impossible to say directly and difficult to convey… which makes this such a powerful text.

It’s a strange phenomenon, but women are more interested in you if they know that other women are interested in you too. We call this “Pre-selection” and it is one of the eight basic ways to attract beautiful women. This was first explained in my book, Magic Bullets (Magic Bullets Review), and then discussed in our Interview Series volumes Introduction to Attraction (Savoy and The Don), Identity (Tenmagnet, Sinn, and Future), and Female Psychology (Savoy and Soul).

Whether you already have a set of go-to moves that work all the time for you or whether you are using the phone and text game routines from Volume 2 of the Love Systems Routines Manual (Routines Manual Review), make sure you track your results!

The ideas and strategies that work – those are your moves. That’s how you’ll learn.

Why is creating connection with a woman so important? And how can you achieve it?

I will be giving you a female perspective on this, and will show you the steps you need to understand in order for you to obtain a deep and significant connection with a woman.

I will also explain why you can benefit immensely if you manage to make a deep connection with her and how you can use this particular skill for years to come.

External/surface/superficial connection

This is the type of connection that guys should make if they are in a rush, and literally don’t have time to make a deeper connection with the woman, (i.e. day game when she is rushing a long a busy street) this is usually fairly easy to do.

Examples of surface connections:

* Enjoying the same type of films
* Coming from the same town
* Doing the same line of work
* Sharing any general interests or hobbies
* Sharing the same sense of humour
* Liking the same type of music

In a world consisting of billions of people. We can find a certain sense of comfort by finding even the most flimsy form of connection with a random person. Whether it’s the fact that they come from the same area/town that we are from. Whether we share the same Zodiac sign (sad but true) or if they happen to be in the same line of work as us.

Making surface connections with a woman are also a good way to create a “reason” (other than seducing her) to meet up again.

Man: “Yeah, he’s one of my favourite actors too, we should catch that new movie he’s in..” etc etc

This information is all very obvious and is common knowledge, so there is no need for me to elaborate the point any further of why obtaining surface connections can be very useful.

However, if you DO have time, you should try your best to make a deeper connection with her.

Making a deeper connection with a woman would create a number of changes in the her state of mind and would alter her opinion of you (positively of course), and as a result of these slight mind shifts forming on in her head, mood shifts will follow, and finally the energy and direction of the interaction between you both will improve dramatically.

* Making a deeper connection will get her to open up, and start explaining how she FEELS and REACTS about things. And this will give you a wonderful insight in to her mind (ever heard the expression that knowledge and information is power?)
* A deeper connection creates a “special” and “private” moment between you and her that no one else can touch or get in to.
* When a deeper connection is made, a moment is created, where she feels like you ‘know’ her (and she knows you) on a very personal level (psychologically)

And by doing this she temporarily places you in the same category as the people in her life that she has known for years. These are people who she can trust, who she respects and they are people who she can be comfortable and relaxed with.
# Understanding the formula of making deep connection helps men to reduce the chances of getting flaky numbers.

So why do men avoid making deep connection?

Men usually have much more of a “bravado” in comparison to woman, and they are much more conscious of what image they wish to display to others, and generally men will only lower that bravado and drop the “bull shit” with a very few select people. Some men cannot even bare the thought of crying in front of people; even the very idea makes them cringe.

Men view strength, confidence and success as the attractive qualities they must uphold in order to obtain respect from both men and woman, and so obviously crying or admitting that they have problems, fears, Insecurities etc would only serve to damage their image that they have spent years in perfecting.

Now DON’T PANIC! I know you are thinking that this is going to be the part where I try to change you, and tell you to drop the bravado and start showing your inner emotions, fears, vulnerabilities and insecurities and become one of these ‘new age metrosexual men’

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I can’t think of anything worse than going out with a “big girls blouse” This is a term I unfortunately find myself using more and more due to the fact that men are being told to act like “a wimp” in order to connect with woman.

Having a guy take me out on a date, and who wants to talk about emotions and feelings all evening and how he feels weak and/or unloved or a guy who wants to divulge every nitty gritty insecurity he has would completely turn me off, . Me and my friends often ring each other after an unsuccessful date, and it’s becoming increasingly more common for us to complain that the man made us feel too strong, too alpha too powerful for him to handle. Anyway, that’s a different story for another time.

The point I’m making here, is that I have no intention in giving you any advice that will make you come across needy, new age, metrosexual or effeminate. (There’s enough woman monthly magazines making a good job of that already)

Women do not share the guys obsessive need to KEEP UP SOME SORT OF BRAVADO. Granted that woman DO where bravado, but the difference is that they can feel a great sense of relief when it comes down. (Unlike men who feel temporarily exposed and vulnerable when their bravado comes down)

We are more open to talking about how we feel, our insecurities, fears and needs, but because men feel that divulging such information to a stranger is almost alien to them. They subsequently presume that women feel the same, and so they choose to avoid making deeper connections with the woman.

Us women however, do not consider that talking about our problems, feelings, insecurities and emotions as weak. We can really enjoy and embrace that moment when we can finally stop playing the role of “Miss Bitch” or “Miss Perfect” or “Miss Sex Kitten” or whatever role we have chosen to convey for that evening, week, month, life time. It really feels like a sense of release when we can be “our selves”,

Men would do well to understand this about woman, and rather than him seeing it through his own perspective, he should instead see it through her eyes..

Just because your mates don’t want to open up and share their feelings with one and other, and just because you might see it as an act which could tarnish your reputation or image, doesn’t mean that woman share this view point.

Do not presume that the girl with “The bitch bravado” is a cold heartless and evil person. Do not presume that the “shy girl mask” is boring and has nothing shocking or interesting to offer. Do not presume that the girl with “Bimbo” image is empty and insincere. Like you guys we put on a mask and create a bravado, alter ego what ever you want to call it for a number of different reasons. If you can get past that mask, you will not embarrass her or make feel uncomfortable like how most men would feel. Instead you will make her feel relaxed and the respect she has for you will increase dramatically. Far more than the guys who get caught up on just the surface level.

In the next part I will share with you the step-by-step process that I teach my students in order for them to obtain a deep and lasting connection with a woman, with out you having to alter the macho / alpha strong image that you might have worked on for so long perfecting.

Check Your Ego At The DoorLet’s talk a little about relationships today…

Anyone who has read me knows that there is something I say over and over again (because it is so important!): To be able to truly love yourself and to truly be able to love someone else, you must drop the ego. This is absolutely essential to finding an amazing relationship, but it’s equally critical to maintaining and continually improving a relationship once you’re already in it.

Nothing will kill a relationship (even the best of relationships) more quickly than ego. Here are 6 ways your ego can kill your relationship, and how to avoid having your ego ruin your relationship.

1.Resist The Temptation To Defend Yourself: Think about the number of times you’ve fought with a significant other, and whenever things get a little heated you start to defend yourself. All you hear is you being attacked, and you immediately go into “defending yourself” mode. Do you know that when you defend yourself in a fight, what’s really happening is your ego is defending itself.

It also means that you’ve stopped listening to the other person. If someone tells you that they don’t like the way you’ve been acting lately, why not hear them out instead of defending yourself? It will almost always create a MUCH better outcome.

2.To Love Yourself And Someone Else Completely You Must Separate The Ego: In order to truly love someone, you must separate your ego from yourself. This is also true if you want to be able to totally love yourself. Now, I know that in a perfect world, we would never be ego-driven. This is not a perfect world of course, so let’s get real. We are all ego-driven to some extent or another, so let’s acknowledge it and embrace that we need to separate the ego to cultivate and maintain a truly amazing relationship with someone.

3.Your Ego Can Ruin Any Conversation: The truth is that no matter how much you prepare, plan and hope for a good conversation with your significant other, your ego is the one thing that will consistently ruin any conversation you’re about to have if you let it.

Let’s say your significant other is frustrated with you in one way or another and really needs to express something about that to you. How do you respond? If you let your ego get involved and you defend yourself, it means that you’re not listening to them.

In order to really listen to somebody, it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes your significant other has things that are really bothering them about which they want to talk to you, but which you would rather not hear. To maintain a great relationship, however, you can’t let your ego keep you from really listening.

4.You Have To Be Willing To Drop The Ego And Learn To Have A Healthy Relationship: If you want to really be able to get deep with someone and take your relationship to a deep level, then you need to be able to take your ego out of the equation. You will always attract somebody who is just like yourself, because you really attract who you are as a person. Also, your significant other is going to do things that you don’t recognize. It may be voices, patterns, communication styles or other things with which you aren’t familiar.

You need to be open and able to learn these things about your significant other, and your ego will keep you from doing this every time. All of us need to learn things about our significant other every single day. We need to learn our significant other’s communication style, because many times your communication styles will be very different.

5.Dropping The Ego Doesn’t Mean You Need To Change Who You Are: It can take a lot for you to drop the ego, really listen to your significant other and realize that they need you say something in a different way or understand how the way you communicate may make them feel a certain way. A lot of people misunderstand these kind of requests as being their significant other’s attempt to change them. It’s not.

They’re not trying to change you, they are trying to improve the way you communicate with each other. They are trying to get the two of you to be able to communicate better than you ever have in the past. Don’t let your ego get in the way. Embrace this!

6. Ego Causes Those “Low Blowers” Which Are The Biggest Relationship Killers: Do you get frustrated when you’re having an argument with a significant other? Of course, we all do. When that happens, though, sometimes the ego will cause you to hurl what I call “low blowers” at the other person.

You’re feeling hurt, so you lash out and say something you know will make the other person hurt too. It was not only hurtful, but inevitably something stupid. By listening to your significant other, instead of lashing out from your ego, you can get through an argument without these low blows and they will be much more constructive (and not destructive to your relationship).

So the next time you see your ego getting involved in your relationship, get rid of it! If you find yourself defending yourself or not allowing you to really listen, then you need to take a step back. Listen carefully to what’s really being said, and use it to create the most amazing relationship.

Read more from David Wygant at his website: http://www.davidwygant.com/

When text messaging keep in mind that, just like in face to face encounters with a woman, there are rules to know and follow.

Rule 1: Don’t text to avoid phone conversation.

Many guys, especially those just entering the social arts, see texting as a safer arena for contacting woman than calling them. This is understandable, but unacceptable. If you’ve just met and number closed a woman, then your next goal is to have a day two. The likelihood that you will set this up with her via text message is lower than if you call her and build more comfort verbally.

Also, if you’re texting because of your fear of interacting with this woman, then how will you ever hope to interact with her comfortably face to face?

Rule 2: Do not seek value when texting, bring it.

Examples of value seeking texts are “What’s up?” or “What are you doing tonight?” These texts come off as needy, invoke no emotion in the woman you are contacting, and don’t portray anything about your personality.

Here are some sample texts I’ve sent that have proven to be much more effective…

“I just saw a guy wearing a fanny pack and it reminded me of you.”

“Hey dork! :) I bet you are operating at a level of 100% dorkiness today.”

“What do you call a fish with no eyes?” Wait for her response before giving the answer, “Fssshhh.”

Rule 3: Avoid sending too many messages!

She might be the only thing on your mind at the moment but let’s keep that a secret between us, otherwise you may freak her out. Text once and only once until you get a reply, then you may text back. If she doesn’t respond to your text, you should generally hold off until tomorrow before contacting her again.

Also, give it some time after you receive a text before you respond. Remember being non-needy always equals sexy because it conveys that you must have other dating options in your life.

When in doubt, pace her. If she texts you back right away, you can text her back right away, but if she takes 10 minutes, then so should you.

Bonus Texting Tip: Use texts to invoke the law of familiarity.

After getting her number, immediately send a text while you’re still standing right next to her. This situation by itself is humorous and if you send a funny message it’s doubly so. Try messages like…

“You have my number now but you are only allowed to call me once per day.”

“Who is that really hot guy standing next to you?”

If, after texting her, she saves you number, take that as a definite indicator of interest. More importantly, when you call her later, your phone number will pop up and be familiar. This makes her much more likely to answer.

Some of you email me and tell me how it’s so painful to go and talk to women (or to men). Do you want to know about real pain?

I basically relived the movie “Marathon Man” the other day. For those of you who don’t know this movie, go to YouTube and watch a clip so you can see what I experienced the other day at the dentist.

For all of you regular readers, you know I nicknamed my dentist “The Driller,” and nicknamed her assistant “The Cutter.” The other day I was fortunate enough to have an infection in some recent dental work that The Driller had done.

We didn’t know it until the Novocaine started to wear off and I felt every bit of the drilling. We thought that some more Novocaine would help, but all that did was to make my heart go thump thump a little faster. It didn’t make the nerve in my tooth calm down at all.

So approaching the opposite sex is not painful. You’re not going to jump out of your skin. You’re not going to hear a drill in your head. You’re not going to get bad taste in your mouth from Novocaine.

Recently I launched a great product about how to get rid of approach anxiety. What I should have done was to take my video guy to The Driller with me and had him film the 25 minutes of drilling I endured without being numb.

If I can survive that, then you can certainly walk up to the hottest person you see today, smile and say hello. What’s the worst thing that could happen? You’re not going to jump out of your skin. Really you’re not going to feel any pain at all except the fears you’ve associated with doing it.

My new product is a much easier way to overcome your fear approaching the opposite sex. If you’re not on my email list, you won’t be able to get this product. So if you want it, click here.

For those of you who really want to overcome your fear of approaching, go to your dentist when you have a really deep cavity you need to have filled — one that requires them to drill for a good 15 minutes — and videotape it as you have them drill without giving you any Novocaine. Then the next time you are tempted to complain about the pain you experience approaching the opposite sex, we can show you the video so you can see what real fear and pain is.
Source: www.seduction-chronicles.net

Today’s blog is going to get you really thinking. Let me ask you a question: Are you lazy when you are in a relationship? I am not talking about a relationship with someone of the opposite sex.

I am talking about in your relationship with yourself. Do you get lazy with yourself?

When I say ‘lazy with yourself,’ what I mean is do you know you have something about yourself you want to change but you don’t change it due to fear or laziness?

Do you realize that there is a negative connotation to the word change? Whether it was your mother, your grandmother, your father or your favorite aunt, somebody probably told you never to change for anyone (and that people should like you just as you are).

We’ve heard that over and over again throughout our entire existence. We’ve heard “don’t change for anyone” and “people will love you just the way you are.”

Well, do you know what I say to those things? Wrong!

I truly believe that change is good. Change is strong. Change is positive. Change is necessary!

Say you meet someone and get into a relationship. People will tell you not to change your core. You know what? You had better change your core. It’s called growing.

To me, change means growth. It means that as a human being, I am evolving more deeply than I ever have before. It means I am evolving in ways I never thought I would evolve. I’m experiencing new things, new feeling and new emotions.

Change is great, but we have such a negative association to the word. You cannot change a person, but you can show them how to grow. When someone doesn’t want to grow and make changes, that is a person who is going to miss out on a lot in life.

I am very different than what I was 22 years ago. I want to constantly keep evolving.

Perhaps if we used the word “evolve” instead of “change,” more people would be open to it. Everyone needs to get rid of the negative connotation to the word change.

When you’re in a relationship with yourself or with someone else, you should not ever change for someone but you should evolve with them (and for them). When you evolve, you grow.

When you refuse to change, you become stagnant. When you are stagnant, you get the same lousy relationships with yourself and with other people over and over again.

It’s something that all of us need to learn. We need to learn how to embrace growth and change, because it’s a wonderful thing.

Think about it in sports terms. Look at Eric Mangini. He is a terrible coach because he hasn’t changed his ways at all. He’s young. He’s stupid.

He acts like he wants to be Bill Belichick. He thinks he is Bill Belichick, but yet he hasn’t learned, grown, or changed his losing attitude. He’s carried his same losing ways from the Jets to Cleveland.

In life, you must learn from experiences and change. Change is good. Change means evolving. Change means that you are willing to see things through the eyes of another person.

All of us have messages for each other. I am just a messenger for a lot of you, here to teach you some lessons. The lesson this time? Realize how powerful change can be.