An unlikely friendship has blossomed between the two blondes: Tyra and Julie.

Julie is young and her dad is the coach. Her parents are basically the world's greatest parents and I wouldn't be surprised if they each had coffee mugs that said just that.

Tyra has a great body and doesn't have a dad. Her sister is a stripper and her mom is white trash.

LET THE FRIENDSHIP BEGIN

First Tyra gives Julie a ride home. The very next day, Tyra shows Julie what shoplifting is all about.

Tyra is Julie's cool older friend, which is sort of a rite of passage when you're in high school, and I had my share of them. These girls don't always give you the best advice. In fact, the point is that they show you how to do the wrong things.

They show you how to do the wrong things right.

In 9th grade there was this girl Gloria that my best friend and I used to be obsessed with. She had really baggy pants and a super long chain wallet. She wore crop tops and even had a belly button ring (it was 1993). Gloria liked us and wanted to be friends with us, she was constantly trying to hang out with us. Then we started to think she was annoying.

If you're gonna be the cool older girl in the situation, you can't seem too desperate. You should hang out, but you should also make it clear that you have your own life. Gloria fucked up. Don't let that be you.

I moved on to Kris, who wore pajamas to school and was the only blue haired cheerleader I had ever seen. She taught me how to do drugs. She ruled.

My older friend Missy loved the Smiths and wore black combat boots and good jeans. She wore perfume and had a boyfriend in college.

Michelle had huge tits and long, white-blonde hair and would punch any girl out for me. Marchella tought me how to shoplift (I eventually got caught and went to mall jail).

See, that's what cool older girls do.

They teach how to do steal, get fucked up, give bj's, get into fist fights... all the things we're not supposed to do. Cool older girls know how to do these things with grace. But eventually these things fuck us in the end. It's not the cool girls fault. That's on us.

You have to know the rules before you break them, that's true, but it works both ways. Know them, break them, see what happens: grow a set.

I loved my cool older girls in high school and still seek out new ones whenever I can.

Did you have a cool older girl crush in high school? Were you a cool older girl?