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No dancing or surviving for Levi Johnston

Who is Levi Johnston? If you don't know, you have permission to stop reading because this is not information that will improve or enhance your life in any way.

If you do know who the latest Playgirl model is, we'd like to officially refute some claims Johnston made to our sister site, Zap2it, Wednesday night at the Chateau Marmont.

The setting was GQ's Man of the Year bash at the Chateau Marmont. And Johnston was accompanied by his manager, who happens also to be his bodyguard -- no, we are not making this up -- Tank Jones. (Name also is real.)

Johnston, the former fiance of Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol and father of her baby, and Jones claimed that he's been invited to compete on both ABC's "Dancing With The Stars" and CBS' "Survivor."

We made a few calls and learned that Johnston was not telling the truth. We know this is hard to believe, but our sources are reliable. This is what they said: "Officially, we never comment about casting," said an ABC representative.

Unofficially, we say, ''Ha! Ha! Ha!'"

A CBS spokeswoman did her own checking and replied, "This is completely false. Completely."