An occasional font of wit and wisdom.

Things to Say to My Wife

As we close in on the end of the year, I find myself in a somewhat reflective mood. Maybe it’s the approach of the Longest Night, or maybe it’s the New Year and the looming cries of “what resolutions have you made?” Either way, I’ve been thinking about the year gone by, and I realized I have been remiss in saying some things that really should have been said, things that I think most married men do not say but probably should.

No, “I love you” is not going to appear on this list. My assumption is that by now any married man has gotten to understanding he damn well better say it (and mean it) fairly often or he won’t be married very long. This is a list of the things we think but don’t say, either because we’re too busy, too tired, or because we just don’t want a fight.

In no particular order:

Yes, I was wrong. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. Please don’t rub it in.

You are that sexy, that smart, that beautiful, that talented, and that amazing. I just wish you could see as clearly as I can.

Actually I do mind doing that activity or going to that place instead of staying home and doing the thing I was going to do instead. Please stop asking me if I’m sure I don’t mind. It’s only making things worse.

I admit it; I was looking at that woman. But so were you. The way she was dressed, I’m surprised the Pope wasn’t looking at her. It’s not like I hit on her, so please cut me some slack.

Thank you. I could list all the times and reasons I should have said it, but honestly I just don’t remember them all, even though I’m fairly sure you do.

Truth is I do know where everything in the house is. I’m just too lazy to get up and get it myself.

It’s your turn to take out the dog.

It’s my turn to do the dishes, clean the house, do the laundry, pick up the groceries, and take out the dog.

I’m proud of you. I’m proud of everything you do, every day. I’m proud I get to say I’m your husband.

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