Just registered so I could comment…World War 3 1995 was absolutely the first thing I watched on WWE Network. Best part by far is Steven Regal’s WTF face as he’s wandering around in the crowded ring just before the main event begins.

I did ECW One Night Stand when Cena dropped the strap to RVD, because I can watch people throw shit back at Cena all day long. Didn’t touch it again until the WM list yesterday. It’s almost too much shit to choose from. May as well start the WW3s since I never got to watch them live.

First one down. I spent the last 10 minutes hoping Macho would just go batshit and start shoot smashing Hogan in the face with the belt. Adult me hates child me for cheering for that asshole after 1990. :(

I watched Wrestlewar ’91, primarily for that five minute Hansen/Vader match. It and the Joshi match made me realize I probably ought to try and get in to 20 year old Japanese wrestling, which probably wasn’t WWE’s intention.

Bunkhouse Stampede 1988 for me. And then I cried for an hour when just hearing Western States Heritage Championship I knew it was a Barry Windham match. I could so be using those brain cells for more important things.

Things I’ve watched so far: All of the Old School Raws, Royal Rumble 1993, Royal Rumble 1992, WrestleMania IX (which, only through the rose-colored glasses of time, is the most amazing thing EVER for how completely awful it is–I am totally into Doink’s “twin magic” and Undertaker’s 2nd win of The Streak being Giant Gonzalez getting disqualified for trying to use ETHER on him), IYH: Canadian Stampede (maybe the best top-to-bottom PPV card, I dunno, EVER), Royal Rumble 2001 (holy shit), No Way Out 2001 (holy SHIT), WrestleMania X-7 (HOLY SHIT), Money In the Bank 2011, Misterio/Guerrero Halloween Havoc 97, Hart/Austin Survivor Series 96, War Games WrestleWar 92, Hardy/Punk TLC (my new favorite ladder match by FAR), Benoit/Malenko Hog Wild 96 (the greatest match I have ever seen contested in front of a crowd full of people that give absolutely no fucks about it and eventually start openly despising its very existence), and the first six Raws of 2012 (starring R-Truth as a duck, a racist, and Little Jimmy’s friend and featuring Alex Ryder as a person John Cena cares about, with special appearances by shitty, awful “take your balls out of your purse” CM Punk, “I’ve totally read The Call of Cthulhu and not just the lyrics to The Thing That Should Not Be” HHH, and JERITROLL!)

First thing I watched on the Network was Great American Bash 1989, which has somewhat ruined WWE PPVs for me, as I don’t think I’m ever going to encounter one that has a card, top to bottom, as perfect as that one. Every match was just so great, especially the WarGames, Terry Funk/Ric Flair and Great MUTA/Sting matches.

Starrcade 98. I hated Hogan so much for that PPV. Actually, I hated his no matter what, now that I think about it. He was such a dick about losing the belt though. I did get to have my joyous moment though as DDP was my favorite at the time. Seeing him win the US Title was awesome.

First thing I made a point to watch was Slamboree ’98 because I wanted to watch the Malenko unmasking in the Battle Royal followed by the Jericho win. There’s actually a fun brawl between Finlay/(REDACTED) and a good Ultimo/Guerrero match.

Watching Stephanie do her best “Yerrrrrrrr fihhhhhhhhrrrreeeeddddd” Vinny Mac impression gave me the weirdest boner. I think partly it was because I was hoping she’d get so angry that she’d let dem titties fly out of her top, only to have King go, “PUPPIES!!!!” I really hope she’s like that in the bedroom. Is that weird?

A) Mmmmmm, Rum Ham
B) I find it funny that for all the heat it got, it kind of became the focal point for Bryan getting into the Mania match. It may not have happened in Chicago, but in the long run…it worked.

I get that some people don’t like Occupy because they didn’t like their tactic of Occupying public areas and they bothered people. However, I think you need to look deeper than just brushing off regular people who aren’t doing anything to hurt you and are fighting people that are trying to take your money, your privacy, as much as they can get.

I honestly can’t blame AJ for getting complacent. She’s been in meaningless tag matches since Total Divas came on. The belt doesn’t really matter in this case, because she basically does nothing with it. She TRIED to get something of significance rolling after the Kaitlyn feud with that pipebomb, but the Total Divas hurt feelings put an end to all that.

Part of me thinks she’s getting complacent because she’s fighting the same Total Divas over and over again. I HOPE that once she gets to fight Emma, Summer Rae and eventually Paige and other NXT women, she’ll turn it on.

@thatsamare
Can’t develop character in a vacuum. Her opponents don’t have any, so she can’t get any. Best she can do to try is through teasing her dissension with Tamina (who’s a bad actress, but underrated (doing well) in her work as AJ’s guard).

Come on, Brandon: John Cena took away Alberto Del Rio’s mojo by saying he rented those cars? I could accept, maybe, an argument that Face Punk hurt Del Rio’s progress with his whole “you’re boring, amigo” schtick, but in truth, right or wrong, people have just never given a crap about Alberto Del Rio.

And hell yeah, WWE is crashing down on AJ. Didn’t she have to go out after Wyatts-Shield at EC? Of course we’ll never have actual women’s wrestling anyway until WWE squeezes every last drop out of the inexplicable success of Total Divas…

I agree with Goat Faced Killer (if I had a nickle for every time I’ve said that in my daily life) about Del Rio. I mean, are we really giving Cena that much credit? He ruined a guy’s career by saying shit that someone else wrote for him? The Rock and Stonecold used to mock everybody. If they got buried it’s because they sucked, not because The Rock said something about turning his shoe sideways and shoving it up their asshole while making a crack about the guy’s stupid gimmick.

I’ve been slacking on commenting on the reports as of late, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t pop for the Castlevania: Symphony Of The Night callback. Anything that references that game is an automatic best.

@The Deposed Knave of Bel-Air Answering to my sociology teacher asking “what is a man?” with that quote to the amusement of the single guy in my class who got it is still the highlight of my entire time in high-school.

Seriously, Sandow joining the Ascension to form the ultimate Castlevania stable would be pretty rad, I say.

The Occupy Raw thing is a pretty good way to piss on the head of the nebbish masses who tried it last week and easily transitions things towards the point that needs to be: HHH vs. Bryan and potentially Orton vs. Batista vs. Bryan.

I’m glad that you’re not as snarked-out about the OccupyRaw/YesMovement thing as I kind of expected. Having been a pretty loyal reader of yours, I remember those instances where you went, “Ugh I have to criticize Bryan” because he was showing ass for no reason when being ANGRY BEARDED RAGEMONSTER was so much better. Thus, I kind of expected this to get more of a Worst than it did.

That being said, would you have liked it more if instead of Rick the Sign Guy and other backstage schlubs, they got ACTUAL fans in there for OccupyRaw, or would the thought of BORK SMASH be even funnier, lawsuits be damned?

I feel like HHH is just going to take a blatant DQ loss via “equalizer” to just take Bryan the eff out and he’s going to be carried away in an ambulance and then probably drive it back into the arena Stone Cold style and double knee both Batista’s and Orton’s faces. I mean he really hammered home the point that he’s “going to end this at WrestleMania” and I’m sure he (kayfabe) figures he can incapacitate Bryan to the point that it won’t matter if he technically wins the match and gets his title shot.

I’m with you on this. I don’t think there’s a going to be a full-length HHH/Bryan match because I don’t think HHH is going to bother putting in the work to get back in shape and have a real match if he’s only a stepping stone to a bigger part of Bryan’s story.

It also makes the most sense when you think about HHH the wrestling character. Losing to Bryan would be the worst thing ever for him so why even try? Sledgehammer him to death and “assure” yourself that he won’t win the main event.

Brandon, I was totally with you on the Cena promo – my good friend and PPV viewing partner generally works Monday nights and doesn’t get to watch RAW until Thursday, so if he asks me about RAW on Mondays, I’ll generally give him some vague feelings about what goes on. Ever since the Wyatts cost Cena the title match at Rumble, like you, we’ve been waiting for the “You’re looking a little ‘Husky’ there, Bray” Comedy Jern promo, and when Cena started singing, my inner panic button was forcefully and repeatedly hammered, so I texted him about Cena trying to ruin the Bray Wyatt character.

Where I’m going with this is that, later in the show, I had to text him and let him know that Bray delivered the nice little backstage vignette that helped to reclaim some of his thunder. I figured “John, seeing you in the ring with Hulk Hogan, I couldn’t help but think I was looking at your future” would’ve gotten a “Best”.

My biggest fear with the Daniel Bryan triple threat title match is that Bryan’s going to lose the title at Extreme Rules or something to Batista and be back on the hunt until Summerslam.

I really really would have rather they just have Triple H/Bryan be the main event if they want to end it with Bryan winning, and have Batista cut a promo at the Raw after WM about how the hairy garden gnome stole his spotlight. Even if it puts Bryan back on the title chase path again until SummerSlam (it’s right after GOTG come out so it makes sense that Batista’s title run would end there regardless) Bryan doesn’t lose the title immediately after winning it and gets him a shot as a lengthy title run.

My fantasy booking for the Triple H/Bryan match is that Hunter goes to sledgehammer Bryan but Kane stops him/takes the hit for him, saving Bryan and giving them the chance to finally hug it out.

I made this same point 2 weeks ago. At best, Batista is the 5th biggest celebrity. It’s a B-level property (being generous). I assume marvel will be responsible for the media blitz. Do they really want this guy doing talk shows to let his sparkling personality shine while holding a wrestling belt which will only serve to make the movie look more like D level? I just don’t think so. He may be on Wendy Williams or something like that but I don’t think he’ll be on any of the Big talk shows.

My fantasy booking of Bryan involves Punk coming back the night after Mania, seemingly to congratulate Bryan on winning the title, only to attack him, because Punk is jealous that Bryan got to headline a Mania. Then Punk and Bryan can feud until Punk’s contract is up, and Punk can leave having put Bryan over, which he never did when they feuded in 2012.

I’d like to think a scenario like that could convince Punk to come back to finish out his contract. Sadly, it’s not likely.

And then the Ultimate Warrior shows up and picks up the entire arena and tosses it into space…

Sorry, I know you made sure to say “fantasy booking”, but even as a Punk fan, I feel like B&W commenters are really holding onto the idea of him coming back soon. Or willing him to. He’s not. Forget about him for now. He’s not part of the future of WWE. Not for now.

Oh, I’m not expecting it. I’ve been as likely as anyone to argue with Brandon on Twitter when he would insist it’s a work. …Or, well, actually I probably wouldn’t want to get into it. But I’d roll my eyes as I scrolled through my feed.

But the fact is, until the end of June, it’s going to be in people’s minds as a possibility.

Seriously, Punk turning up, costing Bryan the win, standing over a fallen Bryan and uttering “If I can’t have it…no one can.” would be my dream WM ending. I know Wrestlemania shouldn’t be feud builders, they should be epic, explosive conclusions, but it doesn’t have to be the end. Think of it more as a season finale. New challenges and adversaries for Bryan over the coming months.

Anything is possible, but my personal opinion is that I see a selfish, grudge holding, ego maniac in Vince, at odds with a selfish, grudge holding ego maniac in Punk.

In his documentary, Punk states that once he retires, he wants to live in a cabin, isolated from everyone. He’s built a nice nest egg at this point and I don’t think money is the biggest issue at play here, so maybe he really is done. And if Punk were to argue such, that it is the booking, not the money, that is the problem, then I could totally see Vince just giving a wanking motion and saying “Phil, sorry I’m not sorry, Daniel Bryan replaced you at the top of the totem anyway. See you never.” He’ll get the Macho Man or Mr. Perfect treatment.

What everyone wants to see is the Andre The Giant Battle Royal come down to just two peeps: Cody and Golddust! Then they wrestle for 30 mins before deciding it’s a straight up tie… but as they are celebrating, Cody nails Dustin with The Ghettoblaster eliminating him!

Oh… and then Ultimate Warrior shows up and picks up the entire arena and tosses it into space!

It would be pretty awesome if they use the battle Royal to do something important– either it comes down to Cody/Goldie, or it comes down to the Shield, and they finally go over the edge.

The only thing I don’t like about this battle royal is the fact that it’s pretty much an admission that they can’t be bothered with mid-card matches or feuds at Mania. “Let’s just throw them in a battle royal and give ’em a trophy– they’ll be happy to get on the show.”

As lazy as it is to just toss everyone who’s not booked in a battle royal, I kind of hope the Bronze Andre becomes the new Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania. Or maybe it will be a different bronzed legend every year, since wrestling trophies only exist to be smashed by heels.

The commentary team were their usual horrible selves but yeesh, none of them were as bad as Natalya was. Those horrible pre-prepared statements and her whiny sense of entitlement. Why are we supposed to like her?

Oh no. Jerry Lawler was worse than his outfit last night. He was so bad, it reminded me of the Office with Michael Scott trying vs Michael Scott not trying. Apparently you can tell when he doesn’t give a shit.

Natalya is the WORST! Hell I think even Eva Marie is better than her. I dont wish for any “superstar” to be beat up on commentary, but every time Nattie is out there I just wish that Cole or JBL would call her on her bullshit.
“I know shes beat me in every match that counts, but, Im much better than her” or the “AJ is nothing in the ring compared to the other divas and I. She’s just jealous of all of us.” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE HELL UP NATALYA!!!!!

Since Miz is going to be busy being in a movie, I propose that Dolph Ziggler teams up with another disgruntled star, maybe someone who’s also had what should have been a defining summer run ruined by bad creative. Who could that be?

Honestly, AJ’s been worse, but I blame it all on her having no stories and subpar opponents. Yeah, The Bella’s mostly. I don’t consider 25 ok dropkicks followed by a tag followed by 2 ok clothelines and a mediocre bunny hop dropkick “improvement” or much to work with (the backbreaker rack is good, but *fart noise* that does for a match). If after she loses her title they don’t stick AJ with back with Ziggler and Big E., I hope she gets “demoted” to NXT and I never watch another RAW divas match ever again.

On a more positive note, I hope Stephanie doesn’t pull an Eve and leave television soon. After all her years of being garbage on the show, she’s suddenly one of the best WWE characters in forever. The fire in her promo left everyone in the dust tonight, including Bray and Paul Heyman. She’s so good, and I hope to see her improve her performance to the point that the most ardent supporter of No-Man-On-Woman-Violence cheer when Bryan knee’s her face.

Fair enough. I pretty much got your point but I’m in a foul mood today. And perhaps “pulling a Shane” would of been a better analogy. Not that Shane was ever at Stephanie’s level on TV right now, but yeah.

You know, perhaps it’s because I came to terms with Bryan not win winning the title at WM XXX a long time ago, I’m actually OK with Bryan leaving New Orleans without the titles, as long as he beats HHH.

If Bryan doesn’t win, it sets him up for his road to Wrestlemania XXXI triumph, which could give him a title shot or two along the way. This would culminate with Bryan winning the Royal Rumble and then Wrestlemania (preferably against Punk). I think there could be lots of compelling storylines that could be told in the oncoming year.

If Bryan does win both matches, I’ll be happy because D-Bry will be champion and he’ll have his payoff. With that said, he’d be closing two storylines in one night, which seems like a waste when one storyline (going for the title) could be stretched out.

One last thing: I would have totally loved to be apart of Occupy Raw last night and I would have been more than OK with eating an F5, Pedigree or a Your Welcome. That’d totally be the highlight of my week.

The audience is absolutely restless for a Bryan win for the Titles. Listen to how much harder they chanted when Bryan added the stipulation than when he goaded HHH into accepting a match. Champion Bryan is what most have been waiting for, not just HHH getting another knee to his face.

The story doesn’t end on Bryan’s title win anyway. No way that HHH doesn’t do everything in his power to “fairly” have Bryan lose the title afterwards. There’s a lot of good stories waiting on the other side.

The Match between HHH and Bryan needs to be made a No-DQ before the start.

Near the end, HHH goes for the sledgehammer….. and decides to go for a shovel instead. He raises the shovel above Bryan’s head for massive heat, says “I”ll bury you boy” or something of the effect, then Bryan somehow kicks HHH’s teeth in, grabs the shovel, and slaps on the Yes! Lock with the shovel over HHH’s throat (kinda like what Bryan did to Orton in that No DQ match before MITB with the kendo stick), causing HHH to tap.

It’s a great fantasy book, since HHH putting Bryan over is still iffy (though he’s got to), and I can’t see HHH tapping out to Bryan in the middle of the ring….. at Mania.

I agree with your last sentence, but what always gets my hopes up is that, for all the burials HHH personally conducted over the years, when he wants to put someone over for real, he PUTS THEM OVER. In all capitals. And with Bryan’s popularity and the way they still kept building him and dedicating tons of TV time every week to his matches and segments while also kayfabe actively keeping him away from the title (with a minor pause for Bryan to put over Wyatts) make me think that finally, after many months of too many screwjobs, Bootista winning the RR and such shenanigans, Bryan destroys his worst enemies with righteous fury on the biggest show of the year. It just seems too good to pass up, right? RIGHT!?

Also, yeah, the last guy of Bryan’s ilk for whom HHH showed ass in a WM epic ended up in an unforgivable tragedy, but COME ON HUNTER, BE THE COOL NXT HHH AT WRESTLEMANIA!

You & I may or may not be long lost brothers or something. My friend called me to ask me if I remembered which PPV the Cena/Umaga Last Man Standing was on, and I interrupted him as soon as he said, “Hey, so I went ahead and got the WWE Network and I was wonderi–“… “Have you watched World War 3 from ’95 yet?” When he said he hadn’t, I told him I was ashamed of him and didn’t understand why he even bothered with the Network.

I like that you BESTed Stephanie. I made this forum post over a month ago:

I’m watching Monday’s Raw and I gotta say, Stephanie McMahon is really underrated. She is the perfect smarmy heel boss. Her work on the mic is stellar and she knows exactly what to say to get a reaction from the crowd.

Quote:
“Clearly the only person that you ever think about is yourself. But we have a whole lot of other people to think about. I mean, do you honestly believe that all of the people in this arena only came here to see you?”

That’s brilliant. Smarmy and condescending, and at the same time, a perfect set up for the crowd to go bonkers.

Mid-way through the promo, Stephanie also made fun of the audience for chanting out-of-sync so they can get their shit together and make a better chant for TV.

I think her work in the Authority angle has been superb. Her lines, her attitude, and her delivery have been top-notch, but people haven’t given her the credit she deserves.

Also, as someone who was 10-11 during the Hulkamania explosion, you seriously underestimate the impact Hogan had on the WWF at that time. He really took it off the edge of the sports world and into the mainstream. He was bigger than Cena could ever hope to be.

Seeing him again, there’s a little nostalgia, and I realize he’s too old to actually compete — but it’s nice to see him in the fold again in some respect.

I’m with you there. I understand that Hogan hasn’t been nearly the influence that he’d want to be since, say, the NWO days in WCW, but his impact on the business as a whole has been huge. I was 11 when Wrestlemania 3 hit, and remember watching it with my friends as one of our dads had ordered it. We all exploded over Hogan slamming Andre. I was even in the Detroit airport the next morning to fly out to my uncle’s, and all of them were there. They were all talking to fans, signing autographs, and just having a great time. I remember seeing Andre sitting down at a table and still being like 10 feet taller than me (because 11 year old me can’t measure for shit) and it just made watching that Hogan had slammed him the night before that much better.

I like the nostalgia angle with him, and if he’s just going to cut some promos to help things out as opposed to getting back in the ring, or try to be the guy he was in the 80s, I’m good with that. We’ll just pretend that the TNA era never existed for him, and remember what was good, hell, even the mediocre stuff, just not that dumpster fire.

Kind of rooting for an angle with Hogan where every week, he comes out and makes a nre match for Mania that’s more random then the last..
“Brother, I was watching the WWE Network on the WWE Network and I saw King Kong Bundy dropping a big elbow on a midget brother and I thought to myself. Let’s have a 30 man, over the middle rope, battle royal with midgets brother! The winner will get this bronze statue of Little Beaver!”

More people buying Bryan shirts means more real-life money for Bryan. Dude gets a fat cut of merch sales, so those people putting money into The Authority’s pockets are also lacing Bryan’s pockets. Other than that, it was a cool little moment, can it.

Offhand theory that I’m working on from watching Raw, Smackdown, and NXT the last couple weeks:

Is the WWE Network being viewed as a stand-in for functional memory by the WWE? I’ve noticed lately that NXT is 100% more canonical now than before thanks to its increased visibility on the Network, but I’ve also noticed that WWE is being more honest about its history than it had previously. So far this has mostly manifested as Cole and Lawler shutting up JBL’s obnoxious talking points by referencing things he did in his own career, which you can now view the whole of (more or less) on the Network. And citing the Network as part of that conversation.

I’ve noted that happen more than once the past few weeks, and it got me thinking. Does the seven year rule exist in a world where the entire fanbase can, and is encouraged to, access your entire recorded history on video? Is WWE feeling the burden of history now that they wear it on their sleeve and are actively selling it to the audience? I don’t know if I’m just imagining this or if it’s the beginning of a larger trend. Many have wondered how the Network will affect PPV builds and wrestler compensation, many have wondered how it will affect WWE storytelling in general, but I’m wondering now if the easily accessible proof of exactly how it all went down will be a check against WWE’s rampant revisionism and amnesia.