Within this blog are the adventures of CancerGIrl and her Service Dog (SD for short) CancerGirl is a 32 year old woman who has been married for almost 15 years to a wonderful man, (we call him SH for short)
She has degenerative Disk Disease, and scoliosis. She was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer in July 2009.
This blog is her daily adventures of going to school, undergoing cancer treatment, founding a Non Profit ( http://www.hatsforhappiness.org/ ) and trying to maintain a marriage.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

CancerGirl Flies Again

Hi Everyone, I know I havent posted a blog in a VERY long time. The reasons why I hadnt posted was because of some people who are no longer in my life being judgemental of me and my blog. I heard comments like "Does she have multiple personalities??" and "Is what she talks about for real??" and if I wrote about even the slightest conflict with anyone in my life, family, friends, whoever it was seen as my "trashing " them so I stopped writing because I truly felt like if I couldn't be honest about my thoughts and feelings then I dont want to blog. If i have to worry about what every single person I know having a issue with something I write I dont want the added stress of that.

What is the solution? In the past the solution I have choose was to just not write my blog, then when I thought about going back to it I was already pretty much done with tratment and there wasnt much to write about. That was quite some time ago, and things have gotten a bit more complicated.

The solution I have come upon at this point is simply to write my blog, not worry about what anyone else thinks. If someone thinks I have "dogged them" in my blog, that is not my responsibility. People bring their own perceptions to every situation, and how CG would see and perceive a situation is completely different how the other person in that situation would perceive it. The only thing I can say to someone who feels as if I have done them a diservice in my blog is that they have a few options. They can comment on the blog about their own perception and view of the situation or comment, which I more then welcome, as I am always willing to look at my own perception of things to see if I may be wrong (I often am wrong, but the great thing about being wrong, is that every time you are wrong it is an opprotunity to learn something new) so feel free to comment. They can also choose not to read my blog, in which case I am ok with that too, as I feel that noone should be forced to read something they dont like (and in the words of Charlie Harper of Two and a Half Men fame "Why would I want to be friends with someone who talks about me like that?") , and as I said, I would be perfectly fine with that and respect that decision. Their other option of course is to hate me forever and decide that they are going to begin their own evil plot to take out CancerGirl, and to those people I have only one thing to say "you know not what my kriptonite is, and without that knowledge your EvilSuperPowers are no match for the SuperPowers that CancerGirl has in her arsinal.

Ok, now that we got all the business aspect of CG returning to the Blogosphere, on to the fun part of CancerGirls mission in life. Do you all remember what that mission is? You don't? Wow CancerGirl has been gone for some time now. CancerGirls mission is to spread the SuperPowers of Happiness and Love and Joy and Laughter to the world.

I am not going to go all somber and depressing and get into a bunch of sad stuff today, I will just say that I will tomorrow update this blog with some of what is going on with CancerGirl medically.

SD and CG have been going to school for the last number of months. CG is now finishing her first summer class (it is done on Monday) and starts another the week after next. After that class she will then be off to start looking at what she wants to do about where to go for my next step in this process. There are a few options, with the best being able to just stay at the school I am at now to get my masters degree.

Ok I dont know if everyone knows where we left off or not, but here is a recap of some of the abbreviations that CG uses in her Bulletin (otherwise known as this Blog).

A Handy Dandy Guide To The ABbreviations In CancerGirl's Blog

CG=CancerGirl

SD= Service Dog or Super Dog

SH=Service Husband (one who assists cancergirl when SD has a day off) or SuperHusband

SW= SuperWife (what CancerGirl tries her best to be)

I will of course update that as more abbreviations are used and added. I know for a fact that there are a few that are not on the list yet.

If you recall CG tends to change the position she writes in, sometimes it is the first person, sometimes the second person, sometimes the third person, now if you are reading a Blog and CG starts speaking in the fourth person please call the authorities because she has truly lost her mind and needs to be stopped.

Dont forget to use the links on my page and click on the ads. CG is doing fundraising for her Hats for Happiness campaign. Right now CG is fundraising in order to set up the things she needs to begin her mission of delivering hats to patients who have lost their hair. We will be asking fro donations of hats in the future but right now we are trying to raise the funds to get the kinks worked out. CG has a few things in the works in order to raise funds, and already has things such as her CafePress online store ( http://www.cafepress.com/ItsCancerGirl) , where you can purchase Official CancerGirl items. More items will be listed soon.

You can also purchase things from Amazon.com through my link and Ads on my page here Amazon.com where a percentage of every purchase made through that link goes toward the cause. I am also pretty certain that if you purchase items for your IPad and Kindle through the link that you can then have them sent to the device so if you purchase books for your Kindle you can also contribute.

Also dont forget to click on the GoogleAds at the beginning and end of CG posts, Hats For Happiness also gets money for every click, wether you purchase anything through that link or not.

If you are not a Follower (CG calls them Spotters) of my Blog, please sign up to be a follower. The more followers CG has the more clout she will have in her fundraising efforts.

Ok now that that is taken care of. On to the meat of the blog. The news that you all tune in to hear. What adventures did CancerGirl go on today?

Today CG had lunch with SFL (SuperFriendLynne). She had Caesar Penne Pasta with Grilled Chicken. SFL and I both ordered the same thing, it was the special of the day. They brought out our food and CG stabbed her fork into a piece of that yummy looking chicken (because CG has been getting sick from chemo, yet is still always hungry, she was ravenous at lunch LOL) and bit into it to get a mouthfull of cold chicken. CG should have been smarter and realized that they would not have put lettuce in a hot dish which is what both CG and SFL expected with the word "grilled chicken" idea, should have been described as "chilled chicken". We ate and talked of many things, with CG eating more then SFL did (she was definately not impressed with the cold chicken or ceasar dressing).

We then got the iPad out and went to log on and OH NOO there was no signal. SFL called her hubby who tried to help over the phone (although she did try to coerce him into coming to the restraunt to fix it immediately, even played the "CG wants to play with the IPad" card, he didnt bite) and we played with trying to get it to work for the rest of the time.

CG had to leave lunch with SFL and go see SuperShrink. If you all remember, she has been seeing SuperShrink for 10 years now. Today she discussed her issues with friendship, issues with my anger which has been getting more and more common and more and more short fused. CG is having a very hard time with controlling her anger lately. She was feeling more and more like a monster. CG tried for a very long time to never get angry. She grew up with extended family members having issues with addiction and anger, and felt that anger never made anything any better. What she was not taking into account, mainly because she was a little kid, was that anger is not in itself bad, it is a emotion, and emotions, no matter what they are, are neither good or bad, they just are, They are expressions of our concious and subconcious mind. We all have a part of ourselves which we are not aware of, desires, feelings, motivations, fears, things that dont become apparent to use until our mind has come to the conclusion that it is ready to handle those things. Many of these things get worked out in dreams, while we sleep our brains go through a cleansing that helps refresh and reset itself. It sorts out the day, compartmentalizes the things it needs to, and prepares for a new day of input.

SuperShrink helped CG to realize that she has quite a bit to be angry about right now. That she cannot just expect the SuperPower of Happiness to be at full strength all the time. That sometimes even the most civil minded SuperHeros get angry. Superman often got angry at his nemesis and when he did you knew it. CG is going to try very hard to work out some of that anger, but when she spoke to her Oncologist and he explained that the chemicals in the drugs used for Chemotherapy can and often do cause personality changes, things like unexpected and surprising laughter, sudden unexpected crying spells, outburts of explosive anger. That there is actually a name for it in the cancer community, it is called Chemo Brain. I am hoping that when I am done with this round of chemo that I will be a little more able to handle my emotions.

Ok Folks, I have rambled on here long enough for now and it has been a few trips back and forth to the lairs restroom due to the poisoning she got at the hands of her arch nemesis the Evil Power of Cancer, so for now CG is going to watch her TV and find something to help her channel the SuperPower of Laughter for the evening.

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Who Is CancerGirl???

CancerGirl is a 32 year old woman who has a canine sidekick who she uses as her Service Dog . who we will call “SD” in this blog, We tell her that SD stands for Super Dog, so PLEASE keep it a secret. She would be crushed if she knew the truth.
CancerGirl has been married to a wonderful man for the past 15 years. (who we call “SH” as he truly is a SuperHusband)
She lives in Paradise where she attends college and is going for her degree in Social Work.
She was diagnosed in July of 2009 with Uterine Cancer. But because CancerGirl is immortal (like all superheros are) she is not overly concerned with such things.
Well, thats a little about CancerGirl, come join her list of spotters and follow her on her adventure through day to day life dealing with school, cancer treatment, and being a SW (Super Wife) to her SH.