Sunday, July 31, 2011

What to say, and how to say it...

The last few weeks I have been trying work out how to phrase things regarding the babies. Every time I talk about them, or a future with them, its like I have to include little lines such as 'if it happens' -'if it works out this time'-'hopefully if..' It is kind of tiring, but after such major disapointments, I find it so hard to chat in a fully positive tone. Hopefully one day soon...

We had our next set of scans which contained a little scare (read:OMG somethings wrong=total & complete meltdown) But after calming down and reassessment of the situation-a small internal bleed-we are staying positive that its fairly common and does not mean we will have to re-live our nightmare all over again. Our SM is not in the hospital which does indicate the situation is not of a serious nature. Everything is crossed for things to stay stable. Best Wishes to all...

You never will speak about the future without the "if all goes well" tone...we are entering week 36 and are just now starting to drop that...not easy by any means especially since you have been through so much already.

"One day soon" will probably be when bubs are born, which is when it came real for so many of us. For me, it all became real when we finally got Taj out of hospital (after three weeks) and had the two of them with us. I was an absolute mess on the way back from visiting the FRRO (where the exit visa was issued) as not only was it real, we'd achieved it - and our real life was just a short plane trip away (ha ha) the next day.

Uh Oh..! Sorry headmistress Meg ;) Meltdown occurred getting the scans when being completely overtired & having one too many wines (bad combination I guess!) By morning, sensible and somewhat rational SJ had returned! Its great to know you wonderful ladies are only an email or phonecall away. xx

I know what you mean with the if and maybe! One moment I tell myself to be positive and enjoy and if something bad happens then deal with that and then other times I think no don't let yourself be happy, you will only get hurt if it dosn't work out! I think this is your time and everything will be fine, best wishes!!!!!!!!!!!