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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

One small step for me, one giant leap for.. well, no one.

The biggest battle of all is the one going on in my mind.
Last night the evil voice of temptation reared its ugly head up and told me to eat the cookie. I was already full but I didn't care. Multiple times I went back and forth, yes I will have it, no I won't.
I finally decided to go for it. I got to the cookie container... I went to open it and... *Insert dramatic suspense here* ... I stopped. I couldn't do it. I wanted to SO SO BAD, but I just couldn't. I thought about writing on here of how I had given in, then I thought about those reading it and how much of a disappointment I would be to them. So I decided I wouldn't do it and I would be able to write about how I won. So here I am, telling you that if I can do it, so can you. It was only a small step for me, but it was in the right direction.

Had the best dream last night. I dreamt about bones, I had bones and you could actually see them, even when I stood up. It was beautiful. I also dreamt about this hot guy from my friends birthday party.

Background info; There were so many thin, sexy girls there I was so jealous (I ranked myself second last on the scale of hotness of girls there), but then I found out (from the birthday girl) that she was on the phone to his best friend (a guy) days after and he told the birthday girl that the hot guy thought I was the hottest girl there. Ok, lets get one thing straight, this guy had pretty much slept with or gone out with at least half of the girls there and they kept flirting with him but he just blew them off, it was quite funny to see.

Back to the dream; So I dreamt that he kept flirting with me, then I was all like smiling and I went to walk away and he held me around my hips and pulled me back to him. And he was kinda surprised that I had these hip bones that stuck out, and a flat tummy (I was too). To much more detail to go into, just includes a lot of flirting and messing around.

Then I woke up to find this horrible reality. One day that dream will be my reality; me being beautiful with bones, and a hot guy by my side.

This mornings weight; 67.3 kg's (148.4). Not so bad but I feel like a yoyo this week, weight just keeps going up and down. We'll have to see what it is on monday.
For now I have to go do prep for tomorrows test (yes another one) and then write a 2000 word assignment due tuesday morning.

"Have the courage to act on your dreams. Leave behind you the internal forces that hold you back."