Bush Told on Thursday What He Did Wednesday

Washington – Members of President Bush’s security detail revealed yesterday that they don’t tell the president where he has been or what he’s done on a particular day until the following afternoon, at a briefing they call, Let’s Talk About Yesterday. The president, speaking to reporters on the White House lawn, rejected implications that the procedure is in any way odd or suspect. “I have full faith in my security detail,” the president said. “And, uh, I’m sure they’ll fill me in truthfully on where I went, who I saw, so on. They take scrupulous notes. Or copious notes. Or porous, or whatever it is to take really good notes. They do that.”

The revelation comes on the heels of an incident in which the president was not informed that a plane had flown through restricted airspace over the White House until 40 minutes after the all-clear had sounded. First Lady Laura Bush recently said she thought the president should have been informed about the errant plane sooner.

“Well, you know, Laura thinks a lot of things,” the president said in response to questions about the first lady’s comments. “She, uh, she thinks I snore. I’m sure that I don’t. You know? I mean, I know I don’t. So I think right there you have to question her, uh, her knowledge on…on things. Not that snoring has anything to do with a plane flying over the White House, but… Just, you know, things are subjective. Some things. Everyone has an opinion about something like this. She thinks, you know, I’m the leader of the country, I should be told about a security threat in which the whole White House and Capitol were evacuated, etcetera. And as funny as that may sound, I respect her opinion. I have to, really. Have you seen her angry face? Whoo, doggie.”