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Monday, 28 May 2012

Good as Gold (Stupid as Mud)

Good
as gold, but stupid as mud

He'll carry on
regardless

They'll bleed his heart
'til there's no more blood

But carry on regardless

(Dave Rotheray/Paul
Heaton)

Dusk falling
on Saturday night and as our coach wound its steady way back up the M1 I described
the day's denouement as devastatingly
inevitable. Many fans of other clubs graciously commiserated and said it
was the worst way to lose. It is, whether it lasts 4 or 5 penalties or goes all
the way through to 11, or beyond.

The fact that
we finished, over 46 games, 9 points clear in third makes it even harder to
bear. The reality is that over 120 minutes at Wembley, when it mattered, we
were second best on the pitch and unable to hold our nerve when it really
mattered. I could talk about my long-held lack of agreement with the play-off
system, but given the timing that would just come across as bitter and I am
not. These are the rules, this is the system in place and we knew what
finishing third meant.

The
inevitability may seem odd, it may seem like a typically pessimistic comment
from a football fan managing expectations, but this was United's fourth
play-off final and Saturday's result leaves us with a record of Won 0 Goals
Scored 0 Goals Against 5. You would struggle to find a club with such a poor
play off final record.

Throw in the
sequence of events at the culmination of this season, from the jailing of Ched
Evans and its impact on morale and team structure, to the injuries to
subsequent key players such as Hoskins, Cresswell and McDonald, to the reckless
stupidity of James Beattie's sending off in the final league game at Exeter and
the relentless and ultimately successful pursuit of second by Wednesday. All
have contributed to what has felt like a slow and painful death by a thousand
cuts, the final swipe at around 6:35 pm on Saturday was the deepest and finally
proved fatal.

Despite
playing poorly and riding our luck a little we took it to extra time, somewhere
we had never taken a final before. They even had me believing in the shoot-out.
After Town had missed their first three penalties, I honestly believed Lowton
would score and that would leave us two up with two penalties left.

He missed. I
clutched my little boy's hand, more for my emotional support rather than his,
and early in the sudden death element of the shoot-out he turned to me and
said;

"Daddy, can we go back to the
coach now?"

"No, the shootout is still
happening, why do you want to leave?"

"Because they (Huddersfield) are
going to win"

Very
perceptive my boy, he has learned "The Blades Way" of doing things at
a tender age. For those of us much older we become hardened by it. We are used
to disappointment and despite the positive support and encouragement we give
the team, we train our minds to expect the worst. It doesn't make it any easier
to deal with.

The support
was more positive and lively than at previous finals, but Wembley has a
horribly negative effect on atmosphere, with chants starting within groups of
fans cast around the stadium and the sound seemingly travelling with a delay.
At one point there were about four versions of the Greasy Chip Butty song
drifting around the stadium at various stages of fulfilment. The creation of a
single unifying chant seemed difficult unless it was more rudimentary in nature
and benefitted from the rhythm of clappers, as used by Huddersfield fans.

The match was
poor. United applying what in effect was a 4-5-1 formation, although the
management would claim that Stephen Quinn was to push on from midfield to make
it a 4-4-1-1. The aim clearly being to stifle the threat from Huddersfield and
try and nick a goal, as we had against Stevenage. It was a similarly gritty
match to the Stevenage games, with little skill on show, plenty of mistakes and
scrappy play.

What
frustrated me was United's contentment in launching the ball forward, instead
of playing it from the back in a manner which had brought success all season.
Clearly missing our midfield playmaker Kevin McDonald I would have liked to
have seen Lee Williamson playing alongside Michael Doyle, giving someone to put
a foot on the ball, steady the nerves and dictate possession. United offered
little attacking threat. The final ball often letting us down, with two few
players attacking the area and for those that did the ball was played behind
them or too close to Smithies in the Town goal.

Huddersfield
were the better side and provided more attacking threat throughout. On the day
I can't argue with the outcome. We didn't play positively enough and lacked the
fluency with which we have played all season. Whilst I couldn't say that we
didn't turn up - an accusation levelled at the United team at previous finals -
we didn't play to our strengths and had the look of a tired side shorn of our
most potent threats.

On Sunday,
whilst uploading my photos from the day, I named the folder "Wembley
2013". I could blame it on tiredness or a touch of sunstroke, but it
wasn't until later in the day I noticed I had done it. When I realised my
mistake the first thought in my head was,

"Please
God, No!"

If Wembley
2013 does happen, many United fans won't be there; not prepared to endure more
potential heartbreak at such a significant mental and financial cost and do you
know what? A bit of me doesn't blame them.

Maybe, in
this age of bragging over levels of support, where attendances seem more
important than on pitch results to some; where measuring fan loyalty and
tiresome debates of how big a fan you are become increasingly prevalent; such
an attitude seems odd.

But for
everyone there is a breaking point. For my dad that was the last final versus
Burnley three years ago. This time, at 70 years old, the cost, the long
journey, the "buggering about" before the match and past
disappointment all caught up with him. I missed him not being there. He will
still be there at Bramall Lane next season though and still supports the team
with a passion, but for him the big days out are finished through choice. I
still have an appetite for it, slightly dimmed, but it's still there.

I still
believe our day in the sun, with a result to match, will come and I want to be
there for it. It might be a League One play off it may be a JP Trophy final,
but if and when Wembley comes round again I'll be there and, despite the mental
damage limitation, I'll still believe.

On leaving
The Green Man pub pre-match I saw a large flag attached to a garden fence
backing on to the beer garden. Sheffield United - Carry On Regardless. Three
words which sum up the life of a football fan and a song whose lyrics can be
used to demonstrate the vain hope of football fans who place their faith in the
universal liar.

I want my love, my joy,
my laugh, my smile, my needs

Not in the star signs

Or the palm that she
reads

I want my sun-drenched,
wind-swept Ingrid Bergman kiss

Not in the next life

I want it in this

I want it in this

(Rotheray/Heaton)

Postscript:

For those who
read my last blog post; "Me, My Son and Wembley" I am pleased to say
that despite the result we had a fun day out. We ate sweets and crisps, til we
were full, I drank beer in the sun whilst we played football, we walked down
Wembley Way to mingle with the crowds, he waved his flag and blew his horn and,
thanks to some tweeting I did for the Football League, we were able to go
pitch-side for photos as the players warmed up.

We held hands
tightly as the penalties were taken and grasped them even tighter as we
navigated the crowds back to the coach. Eventually, despite his protests about
not being tired, he fell asleep on me as the coach neared Sheffield. His painted
Blades badge, a sweat-smeared red and white smudge across his cheek. It was a
day that filled up our senses and that at times he struggled to take in, but we
have some great photos and some great memories to remind us in future years. We
will just choose to forget about the match.

5 comments:

Ian - your comments are so poignant and so heartfelt and so completely and utterly resonant. I am a 54 year old United fan (one of your many twitter followers) who grew up following the Blades during the glory years. I have been living in the USA for past 27 years so my experiences at BDBL have been less and less as the years go by. on the infrequent trips back home we always get in a game (this year was a dire game v Tranmere mid March). but following united now is both easier and harder - easier because there is so much on the internet; easier because the downturns are less tactile; harder because, as every year goes by the pain is just relentless (a propos of your comments about your Dad) and harder because (right now) I cannot seem to stop myself from following them. as your banner attested - "carry on regardless". I feel your pain most intensely and the photo with your son makes me ache just to look at it! I love your writing- keep it up. and next time I am on the London Road pre-game, would love to buy you a pint!

Jonathan - are you perhaps the son of Hugh Wentworth-Ping, who was my boss at FVSS when I first started work in 1962? If so I would just like to say that he was a great character, and I was sorry to hear that he died in 2005. My contact e-mail is ma.cleasby@orange.frregardsMartyn Cleasby -- Export Rep at FVSS 1962-68

I love reading you blogs mate. Like Jonathan said, they are heartfelt, sincere and from the heart of a true blade.And again as Jonathan said, if i see you on London Road, there'll be a pint or two waiting for you!Peace out from the 'ghan...Not long till i'm home now!UTB!!#TwitterBlades