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Monday, January 31, 2011

One of our readers submitted a query letter for critique. Feel free to make comments, but please keep them constructive.

Critique Archive 0039:

Agent nameLiterary AgencyAddress

Dear Agent,

Georgina Blackinsworth is not a typical eighteen-year-old girl. While other girls attend dance and piano lessons, she gets combat, weaponry, and assassination training. Not only that, but her dad puts her through “If this happens . . .” drills to make sure she is prepared for all possible scenarios. Now, as her classmates focus on high school graduation, Georgie finds herself locked in a family battle.

Kent Blackinsworth, Georgie’s dad, leaves town and fails to return. Georgie thinks it’s just another drill and blows off all signs indicating otherwise until she finds a letter which explains why she’ll never be typical and leaves her doubting if her dad is alive. Now she must discover the location of a family vault while avoiding her murderous aunt Edith.

With the help of her best friend Jake, Georgie begins a journey full of clues and discoveries. She finds she is falling in love with Jake and trusting him despite all evidence telling her she is making a mistake. As trust fights against her an ultimatum is set: find the vault she knows nothing about or Dad dies.

Encoded Secrets is my first young adult mystery, adventure novel complete at 77,000 words. I hold a Master Degree in Music and have taught in the public school systems. I am an active member of the American Night Writers Association and attend as many writing conferences as possible. If you are interested in Encoded Secrets I would be happy to forward you the complete manuscript. I have included the first fifty pages in the body of the email.