The Forest Cafe hold “open” meetings apparently. I went along to one of these so called “open” meetings to see if they would listen to what I had to say. To my surprise, there was no-one actually at this meeting, so on behalf of those absent I made the following decisions.

The Forest Cafe will launch a take-over bid for Richard Branson's newly unveiled “Virgin Galactic” space-craft. As the sole participant of the Forest/Virgin Galactic Merger meeting, I declared myself chairman, secretary, space craft-manager and treasurer and so will appropriate the necessary funds.

To infinity and beyond!

"Alien" Dave - Head of Forest Galactic merger group

Please submit your space-craft designs to the Total Kunst pigeon hole by the stairs, marked "F.A.O. Alien Dave" or e-mail to dannyofthemullins@yahoo.co.uk .
We will display these designs at the Galactic Launch party and print the best A5 sized designs in next months news.

Somehow I think the Forest should be thinking about a property in Edinburgh as a priority over buying a new space-craft or a property in Skye. This place is insane. Don't get me wrong, I'm all into volunteeering, democracy and empowerment. I just think there are some really desperate characters out there, some people who really don't seem to know the difference between fantasy and the real world and if you give them a little taste of power it seems to go straight to their heads.