In the early to mid-Sixties, I was a teenager. Thanks to puberty, I had a new toy to play with: my own budding sexuality fueled by hormonal changes running wild.

In this period, I was greatly invested in finding whatever I could that would strum my burgeoning libido, and if it wasn't the girls in my school classes, it was whatever I could find on TV. The nice thing about the latter is then when I did find something that stimulated me, I could actually do something about it, that is, if the timing was right.

In this period, TV was nothing like it is now. The amount of titillating material to be found on the tube was infrequent and spotty, but for the vigilant, stuff could be found.

One day, after school, I came home to find my sister and a friend in the living room, chatting away while the TV was on in the background. My attention was drawn immediately to the TV as the movie was in color, an unusual occurrence back then.

It was the scene where Sappho lay grieving on a couch in her chamber, attended by her attending ladies, while Hyperbius fusses at her. Tina Louise is on her stomach, in a low-cut bustier, with a fair amount of cleavage evident.

This riveted my attention at the outset. I was stunned and turned on, for sure. When the scene wrapped up, the camera went to a medium shot showing her ladies-in-waiting, who were attired in low-cut toga-type dresses. And this served to raised the level of titillation even higher.

Well, there was no point in getting too excited because it was the middle of the afternoon, my sister and friend were going nowhere.

Rather than torture myself any further, I trudged off to my room and brooded a little bit before moving on to something else a bit happier.

But, although I never saw the movie again as a teenager, I never forgot it.

When the movie finally was available on VHS, I ordered it as soon as I could find someone with a copy to sell.

I was finally able to see the movie in its full length. And see what I missed that day in 1965(?).

Wow! Susy Anderson on the steps talking to Phaon, so awesomely apparently not wearing a bra (Suzy, I mean). Incredible.

It also occurs to me that "Warrior" had probably been cut to ribbons before broadcast on that Houston channel. But to see an unedited version on latenight local broadcast TV would have been teenage boy heaven.

Starring the bravura talent of Bill Kennedy as ‘Doctor Vicktor Von Frankenstein’. Along with other outstanding performances by the talents such as, Patrick Mallette as ‘Herman’, Melantha Blackthorne ‘A Bride Of Frankenstein’, Annmarie Bahny ‘Another Bride for Frankenstein’, Sean Sanders ‘Proteus From The Erie Lagoon’, and Daniel James “The Patchwork Monster’, to mention a few of this dazzling cast in this special film.

Step Into The Fear Chamber Starting February 10, 2015on Blu-ray™ and DVD

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – After terrifying audiences from coast to coast – Closing Night Event at ScreamFest 2014 Los Angeles and Opening Night Screening at 2014 New York City Horror Film Festival –Fear Clinic, the latest excursion into unrelenting terror will be released on Blu-ray™ and DVD on February 10, 2015 by Anchor Bay Entertainment. The highly anticipated shocker stars horror icon Robert "Freddy Krueger" Englund, Fiona Dourif, Angelina Armani, Thomas Dekker, as well as Stone Sour and Slipknot lead vocalist Corey Taylor in his acting debut, and is directed by Robert G. Hall (Lightning Bug, Laid to Rest, ChromeSkull: Laid To Rest II).

With blood-chilling special effects by award-winning FX creators Robert Kurtzman and Steve Johnson, Fear Clinic will take viewers on an unforgettable journey into the very soul of terror itself. SRP is $26.99 for the Blu-ray™ and $22.98 for the DVD, with pre-book on January 7.

Co-written by Hall and Aaron Drane, the film is based on the critically acclaimed and fan favorite 2009 FEARnet.com series. When trauma-induced phobias begin to re-emerge in five survivors a year after their horrifying tragedy, they return to the "Fear Clinic," hoping to find the answers they need to get cured.

Dr. Andover (Robert Englund), a fear doctor who runs the clinic, uses his "Fear Chamber" to animate their fears in the form of terrifying hallucinations. However, the good doctor soon begins to suspect that something more sinister may be at work, something that yearns to be more than just an hallucination...

Bonus features on Fear Clinic Blu-ray™ and DVD to be announced.

About Anchor Bay EntertainmentAnchor Bay Entertainment is a leading home entertainment company. Anchor Bay acquires and distributes feature films, original television programming including STARZ Original series, children's entertainment, anime (Manga Entertainment), fitness (Anchor Bay Fitness), sports, and other filmed entertainment on DVD and Blu-ray™ formats. The company has long term distribution agreements in place for select programming with AMC Networks, RADiUS, and The Weinstein Company. Headquartered in Beverly Hills, CA, Anchor Bay Entertainment has offices in Troy, MI, as well as Canada, the United Kingdom and Australia. Anchor Bay Entertainment (www.anchorbayentertainment.com) is a Starz (NASDAQ: STRZA, STRZB) business, www.starz.com.

BURBANK, CA (November 20, 2014) – The action and fun of CHiPs Season 3 continues in this wildly popular action-drama that stars Golden Globe nominated Erik Estrada and Larry Wilcox returning as high-spirited California Highway Patrol motorcycle officers Francis "Ponch" Poncherello and Jon Baker. Pursuing justice was never cooler as these two fearless partners take to the roads under the bright Southern California sun. Nothing stops them from joining the action … from high-speed car chases to confrontations with armed criminals … CHP officers Ponch and Jon are on patrol -- ready, willing, and more than able- in this 5-disc collection of non-stop adventure. Warner Bros. Home Entertainment will release CHiPs: The Complete Third Season on March 3, 2015 for $29.98.

Last season, Ponch and Jon were on the lookout for all sorts of criminal operations. That continues this season in the comedic melodrama fashion that only Ponch and Jon can provide as they continue to catch people who have been menacing the L.A Freeways. Whether it’s staging an accident as part of an insurance scam or punks breaking into cars, California Highway Patrol is there to stop them. Infused with the same light-hearted subplots of the past, CHiPs: The Complete Third Season brings you entertaining action-drama at its finest!

"We are delighted to finally release CHiPs: The Complete Third Season for the first time everon DVD," said said Rosemary Markson, WBHEG Senior Vice President, TV Brand Management and Retail Marketing., "The third season of this immensely popular show is sure to delight fans of every age, and will allow for the next generations of fans to fall in love with this series."

Warner Bros. Home Entertainment (WBHE) brings together Warner Bros. Entertainment's home video, digital distribution, interactive entertainment, technical operations and anti-piracy businesses in order to maximize current and next-generation distribution scenarios. An industry leader since its inception, WBHE oversees the global distribution of content through packaged goods (Blu-ray Disc™ and DVD) and digital media in the form of electronic sell-through and video-on-demand via cable, satellite, online and mobile channels, and is a significant developer and publisher for console and online video game titles worldwide. WBHE distributes its product through third party retail partners and licensees, as well as directly to consumers through WBShop.com.

Starring Eric Roberts ("The Expendables"), Ken Davitian ("Borat"), Korrina Rico ("Horrible Bosses 2") and Hunter Ives, Abstraction is the story of Tommy and Gary, two criminals engaging in grand thefts in order to make ends meet.

After a routine robbery goes wrong, the friends are forced to put their criminal activity behind them. But as their economic hardships become obvious, Tommy's new girlfriend, Scarlet, soon proposes a notion that will make all their money troubles vanish - the heist of a half a million dollar painting.

Abstractionhas been well received by festival audiences and industry professionals alike," says Director Prince Bagdasarian. "We're truly excited now to be working with Breaking Glass Pictures in bringing our multi-award winning film to a wider audience."

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Indican Pictures Will Release Horror Comedy THE CABINING on January 16th, 2015!

Todd and Bruce, two struggling writers, get one last shot at success thanks to Todd's wealthy uncle, Sarge, who gives them two weeks to impress him. With the deadline looming and no fresh ideas, the pair head to Shangri-La, a serene artist's retreat, with the hope that the peace and company of fellow artists will inspire greatness... or, failing greatness, at least a fling with a leggy French sculptor. The retreat proves to be anything but serene, however, as the artists start dying off one by one, and soon these two are fighting for their very own lives!

The film will be available in rental stores, retail chains, TV, including 180 million homes on Video On Demand nationwide.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

When famous TV personality Grace Forsyte's ratings start to plunge, so does her integrity--leading to a desperate attempt to boost viewership by taking a film crew into the jungles of South America to record the most horrible atrocities she can find amongst savage tribes of (gasp!) flesh-eating cannibals!

Thus, Italian exploitation director Bruno Mattei (working under the name "Vincent Dawn"), responsible for such films as RATS: NIGHT OF TERROR, WOMEN'S CAMP 119, CALIGULA'S PERVERSIONS, and SCALPS, enriches the world of cinematic art with this offering entitled MONDO CANNIBAL (2004, Intervision Picture Corp.), known also as "Cannibal World", "Horror Cannibal 2", "Cannibal Holocaust 2", and "Cannibal Holocaust: The Beginning." Needless to say, it's about cannibalism.

The "Mondo" angle is a bit misleading, however, since this is neither an actual "Mondo Cane"-type documentary nor a mockumentary, although there's one scene near the beginning that looks real enough. Grace (played by Helena Wagner) and her boss, the TV network president, are viewing footage of what's purported to be actual cannibals preparing a corpse for feasting, and it looks like the real thing--disgustingly so--although it might simply be a prelude to a crude cremation.

Still, it's the one part of the movie that you won't want to watch while eating a nice, drippy, all-meat pizza or a steaming bowl of goulash. In other words, it's wicked grotty, innit.

The rest of the movie consists of Grace and her crew on an increasingly wacky jungle adventure filming fake natives running around killing each other with rubber clubs and feasting on the bloody entrails of their victims like a bunch of freaked-out "fast-moving" zombies.

The grossest thing about these scenes (and their rudimentary but fun gore SPFX) is wondering what the hell is that stringy slop the energetic extras are shoving into their mouths with such ravenous glee--it looks like spaghetti mixed with something somebody dug out of a dumpster behind a butcher shop.

Recording all this horror eventually isn't enough for Grace and her gang, who before long are in the thick of the carnage themselves as they attack a village and set fire to the huts, which are filled with screaming natives, while gleefully raping and massacring everyone in sight.

This rampant savagery is a weird and sudden change for Grace's environmental-advocate partner Bob Manson (Claudio Morales)--supposedly the "conscience" of the group--and her technical crew including cute blonde Cindy (Cindy Matic), whose main purpose on the expedition is to add to the film's brief nudity quotient.

Meanwhile, back in civilization, the TV executives (with the sole exception of one gray-haired bigwig with a weak stomach) are, to coin a phrase, "eating it all up" as the ratings skyrocket.

MONDO CANNIBAL is surprisingly competent in the technical department, with some nice location work including lovely shots of what is supposed to be Hong Kong (although the credits state that this was filmed entirely in the Phillipines). One of the funniest parts of the film is the title at the beginning of this sequence: "Hong Kong: Some Mouths Before..."

Performances are fair to, well, fair, but what star Helena Wagner lacks in finesse she makes up for with pure wire-taut intensity. Her efforts and those of the rest of the cast are hampered by bad dubbing and some jarringly dumb dialogue that adds to the perverse entertainment value.

The main drawback is that much of the earlier part of the film is just plain boring. Things definitely pick up later on, however, when the story starts edging its way over the top before spilling all the way over into a bloodbath of goofy gore and even goofier plot twists.

The DVD from Intervision Picture Corp. is in full frame with Dolby Digital stereo sound. No subtitles. The only bonus feature is a trailer.

In case you haven't gleaned as much from my description already, MONDO CANNIBAL isn't exactly the sort of entertainment to accompany your next Martha Stewart-style dinner soirée. But if you're in the mood for some severely whacked-out ultra-gore goodness packed with psychotic sadism and lacking any sense of decency whatsoever, then this should serve as a suitably sordid main course.

THE NUGGET (2002) is a breezy Australian comedy about three blue-collar blokes who dream of getting rich and famous.

Actually, Sue (Dave O'Neil), the lazy one, is already somewhat famous for biting into a store-bought meat pie and pulling a human finger out of his mouth (a rather gag-inducing image). Wookie (Stephen Curry) is a Weekly World News-devouring conspiracy nut who got his nickname because he's convinced he saw one in his backyard once.

And Lotto (Eric Bana, THE HULK, BLACKHAWK DOWN) is pretty much the unluckiest man in the world--his winning Lotto ticket falls through a sewer grate and the three mates fail to find it even after borrowing a bunch of equipment from their highway construction job and digging up the entire street. Plus, every horse he bets on not only loses the race but must be put down afterward.

Yet he and his friends are still good-naturedly optimistic enough to trudge out every weekend to the piece of wasteland they've leased to wander around with a metal detector, prospecting for gold. One day, after a great storm has flooded the area and washed away much of the topsoil, they find it--a chunk of solid gold big enough to choke a Stegosaurus.

If this movie had been about me, it would've concluded with a montage of me selling the enormous "nugget", getting incredibly rich, and living happily ever after--the end. But, of course, it's never quite that simple in movies like this (think of THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE or IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD), and before Lotto, Wookie, and Sue get to enjoy their wonderful find, if ever, they must endure about an hour-and-a-half of comedic complications.

First, they put off cashing in the nugget so they can buy up the leases surrounding theirs and look for more gold before word of their find gets out. Next, Wookie's wife, Darlene (Sallyanne Ryan), finds that her husband's name is the only one on the lease, meaning that the nugget belongs to them, which pits the wives against each other and threatens to break up the mates. And finally, their nemesis, Ratner (Peter Moon), a wonderfully sleazy junkyard owner with a lease next to theirs, witnesses the discovery and steals the nugget after they've buried it in Lotto's backyard.

Much furious, sitcom-type activity surrounds the trio's attempt to retrieve the nugget even as Ratner makes plans with the local jeweler, an unscrupulous character named Dimitri (Vince Colosimo, CHOPPER) to unload it. Sue's wife, Moon Choo (the very likable Karen Pang), is enlisted to impersonate a buyer from Hong Kong who offers Ratner a better price while trying to locate his hiding place (it's behind his livingroom couch).

My favorite supporting character, though, is Ratner's German assistant, Jurgen (Alan Brough), a sensitive soul who often suffers crying fits and bouts of depression over the things his heartless boss makes him do. He's the one who sets the final plot resolution into motion by melting down the nugget, which leads to a strange occurrence that's supposed to have an "ooh, aah" sense-of-wonder feeling about it but left me thinking, "O-o-o-kay..."

If you're in the right frame of mind, you might "ooh, aah" a little, especially if you're lulled into it by the mystical narration of the wizened, mysterious old man named Wally (Max Cullen) who lives in a shack on one of those leases the boys tried to buy and who somehow sees all and knows all. To me, though, it had a bad-Spielberg "Amazing Stories" quality to it, and I didn't care much for that show.

I never can relax and enjoy a movie like this because it's so frustrating to see hard-luck guys that I can identify with come into a great windfall and then lose it, which they almost always do. The moral of the story is usually that they were happier before getting rich and they're better off without all that money. To that I say: "Poppycock!" (Sorry.) So I was worried about that the whole time. Fortunately, though, THE NUGGET does have a pretty happy ending that didn't leave me gritting my teeth in frustration.

But is it funny? Well, not so much "funny" as "amusing." I don't think I actually laughed once the entire time, but I found the antics of these characters and the overall good-natured atmosphere generally enjoyable and only occasionally tiresome.

It was especially interesting to see Eric Bana playing a big, easygoing lug after knowing him only as a tortured scientist who turns into a monster (THE HULK) and an intense super-soldier (BLACKHAWK DOWN). He and his two mates make a good comedy team and I like the way they play off each other even though I couldn't understand some of the heavily Aussie-accented dialogue. I also like Lotto's usual reaction to adversity--he stops, thinks a moment, and says, "Ahh...let's grab a bee-uh."

But my favorite scene, which is perhaps the most wonderful moment in the whole movie, is when the boys are bringing the nugget home in their pickup after first discovering it, and pull into a truck stop for some hamburgers. After searching their pockets, they come up just short of the money needed to pay the counter lady, and--realizing the absurdity of the situation--look at each other and start to laugh joyfully. Seeing the lady's perplexed expression, Wookie explains, "It's just that...we're so rich!" and Sue adds, "We could buy two burgers each--easy!"

NYC Horror Film Fest Opening Night Screening on Thursday, November 13th
Robert Hall and Angelina Armani Q&A After The Screening

The Big Apple is about to be overtaken by FEAR! After its triumphant world premiere at Los Angeles’ Screamfest, Robert Hall’s latest film FEAR CLINIC will screen as the Opening Night Feature of the 13th Annual New York City Horror Film Festival on Thursday, November 13th at the Tribeca Theaters in Manhattan!

Starring horror icon Robert "Freddy Krueger" Englund, Fiona Dourif, Angelina Armani, Thomas Dekker and featuring the acting debut of Stone Sour and Slipknot lead vocalist Corey Taylor, FEAR CLINIC has already struck terror in the hearts of audiences, taking them on an unforgettable journey into the very soul of Terror itself.

UPDATE: Director Robert Hall and Star Angelina Armani will conduct a Q&A with the audience after the screening!!

When trauma-induced phobias begin to re-emerge in five survivors a year after their horrifying tragedy, they return to the "Fear Clinic," hoping to find the answers they need to get cured.

Dr. Andover (Robert Englund), a fear doctor who runs the clinic, uses his Fear Chamber to animate their fears in the form of terrifying hallucinations. However, the good doctor soon begins to suspect that something more sinister may be at work, something that yearns to be more than just a hallucination...

FEAR CLINIC will be released by Anchor Bay Entertainment in early 2015.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Will the Patients Soon be Running the Asylum?
Digitally Restored ’70s B-Movie, Cult Favorite on DVD Dec. 16thBRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Dec. 1, 2014 — For Immediate Release — A young, psychiatricnurse struggles under the worst of institutional conditions in Don’t Look in the Basement, digitally restored and available on DVD Dec. 16 from Film Chest Media Group.In this ‘70s, B-movie, cult classic, a young, psychiatric nurse, Charlotte Beale (Rosie Holotik, 1972 Playboy covergirl), goes to work at an isolated sanitarium only to learn theproprietor, Dr. Stephens (Michael Harvey, Berlin Express, Tycoon), was murdered by one of the patients.

Struggling under the horrendous conditions at the severely under-staffed asylum – and the torment heaped upon her by the patients – she is puzzled by the resistance of Stephens’ successor, Dr. Geraldine Masters (Annabelle Weenick, Cope and 1/2, Common Law Wife),to hiring new staff and by the woman’s efforts to keep outsiders at bay. Soon, the patients may truly be running the asylum…

Also known as The Forgotten, Don’t Look in the Basement is considered one of the best loow-budget movies in the horror/thriller genre … and there is no other film quite like it!

Presented in full screen with an aspect ratio of 4 x 3 and original sound.

About Film Chest:Founded in 2001, Film Chest offers high-quality content for a wide variety of production and distribution needs, boasting one of the world’s largest libraries (10,000+ hours) of classic feature films, television, foreign imports, documentaries, special interest and audio—much of it restored and digitized in HD. Headquartered in Bridgeport, Conn., with offices in New York City, the company also produces and distributes collector’s DVD sets for its American Pop Classics, CULTRA and HD Cinema Classics labels. Visit us online: www.filmchestmediagroup.com

I usually don't go in much for these "human dramas", so how much I like this sort of movie depends mainly on whether or not I can sit through it without getting bored stiff. (That's pretty obvious, I guess.)

Fortunately, DON'T COME KNOCKING (2005), the only Wim Wenders film I've seen since 1984's PARIS, TEXAS and the occasional U2 video, has a lot going for it. Wenders co-wrote the screenplay with Sam Shepard, whom we all know is a talented writer as well as being one of my favorite actors in films such as THE RIGHT STUFF and the TV mini-series "Streets Of Laredo."

Shepard stars here as Howard Spence, a famous Western actor whose career is on the skids due to an out-of-control lifestyle full of sex, drinking, and brawling (in various combinations). One day it occurs to him that he's not getting any younger, life is passing him by, and if he doesn't try to reconnect with what is really important to him it will soon be too late.

So he hops on a horse and disappears from the Utah desert location of his comeback film, leaving an entire film crew and some anxious studio executives (including George Kennedy, Tim Matheson, and Julia Sweeney in cameo roles) holding the bag.

Since the film has been insured for several million dollars, a special investigator named Mr. Sutter (Tim Roth of RESERVOIR DOGS and PULP FICTION) is sent to track him down. Mr. Sutter is a fastidious, methodical little guy who'd look more at home behind a desk at H & R Block, but I wouldn't want him looking for me.

Howard hops a bus and makes his way to Elko, Nevada to visit his mother for the first time in decades. She's a widow with a very Zen attitude toward life (a sweet performance by ON THE WATERFRONT's Eva Marie Saint) who calmly accepts Howard's sudden reappearance, and subsequent arrest for getting drunk in a nearby casino and punching a security guard, the way she might accept one of the baseball games she likes to watch on TV getting rained out.

Howard is given a makeshift bedroom in the basement, which she has thoughtfully decorated with remnants of his past such as school banners and photo albums. In one of these, he comes across a photo of a woman he had a fling with years ago while filming a movie on location in Butte, Montana. She becomes the next important thing in life for him to reconnect with, so he sets off for Butte in Dad's old car while Mom waves wistfully in the driveway.

When he gets there, he discovers that Doreen (Jessica Lange) not only owns the bar where they first met, but that the lead singer of the country-and-weird band playing onstage is their son, Earl (Gabiel Mann, THE BOURNE SUPREMACY), who will react violently to Howard's unwanted return.

And as if that weren't enough, the young woman sitting at the bar clutching an urn filled with her mother's ashes is his daughter Sky (DAWN OF THE DEAD's Sarah Polley), from yet another sexcapade during his long-ago visit to Butte. Sky is there to sprinkle her recently-deceased mom's ashes over the nearby countryside, and fate has obligingly seen fit to bring all these important things in life that Howard wants to reconnect with, whether he knew about them or not, crashing down on his head at the same time.

It takes a while to reach this point in the film, but I enjoyed getting there. Sam Shepard's "Howard" is an interesting and likable character, although I wouldn't want to know him before he decided to stop being such a horse's ass all the time (his arrest in Elko hopefully being the final exorcism of his previous lifestyle).

I'm not sure if the behavior of some of the characters is entirely realistic, though. Earl, upon finding out that his father has returned, begins to angrily hurl all of his worldly possessions through the upstairs window of his apartment house, even managing to somehow squeeze a full-sized couch through it. (Which, by the way, later becomes the most important prop in the whole movie.)

Sky, on the other hand, seems ethereally serene about the whole thing, displaying not a hint of the resentment toward Howard one might expect, although I came to like this more forgiving aspect of her character after awhile. Toward the end of the film, she gets a chance to explain to him what a void he's left in her life, and how her fascination with every imagined detail of his phantom presence has become such a lifelong obsession that finally meeting him in person can't even begin to resolve it.

(As Earl stands listening to this, we can see in his face that she's expressing his own feelings as well, although they're buried under years of resentment.) Howard realizes once and for all just how deeply his irresponsible past has affected others, and how much he's missed out on, and he tentatively embraces her, even though he's handcuffed to Mr. Sutter.

It sounds like soap-opera stuff, but Sam Shepard's down-to-earth performance and the touches of humor here and there in the script, along with Wim Wenders' easygoing directorial style and some breathtaking location photography, help to pull it off rather nicely. There's a fine supporting cast filled with familiar faces--Tim Roth, Eva Marie Saint, and Sarah Polley are especially good--and we even get to see another great whacked-out performance by Fairuza Balk (THE CRAFT) as Earl's girlfriend.

Plus, it's always nice to watch Shepard and Jessica Lange together. Some of their scenes are little stagey, but they're still fun, especially when they have an argument in front of a health club while people on stationary bikes and treadmills look on with deadpan interest. And the musical score by T-Bone Burnett (with help from Bono and the Edge on the title song) is awesome.

Unlike a lot of character dramas that seem intent on making you feel like crap, DON'T COME KNOCKING was a lot of fun and left me feeling good at the end. There, we see an old pickup truck cruising down a mountain highway, and the signpost up ahead reads "Divide--1. Wisdom--52." Which is pretty much the way it goes, I guess.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

(NOTE: This review originally appeared online at Bumscorner.com in 2007.)

Matthew Cole Weiss' STANDING STILL (2005) is kind of like THE BIG CHILL with a younger set of friends reuniting after a shorter period of time and with less dramatic results. In the earlier film, the friends were reunited to attend the funeral of one of their group; here, they come together for the weekend when two of them decide to get married. Which, depending on how you look at it, could be viewed as pretty much the same thing.

Mikey (Adam Garcia) is the condemned man, err, groom; he's marrying Elise (Amy Adams, THE MASTER, SUNSHINE CLEANING) and seems so irrationally happy about it that it perplexes his marriage-shy friend Rich (Aaron Stanford, "Pyro" of X-MEN:THE LAST STAND), whose girlfriend Sam (Melissa Sagemiller) is nagging him to pop the question himself.

Also converging upon Mikey and Elise's house for the big wedding weekend are old pals Quentin (Tom Hanks' son Colin, who played Carl Denham's assistant Preston in the KING KONG remake), a cocky, party-animal theatrical agent; Lana (Mena Suvari), an emotional wreck who is devastated by her poodle's bad haircut because she can't handle such a "major life change"; "Pockets" (Jon Abrahams), a UFC talent scout who still carries a torch for Lana and keeps a variety of stuff in his pockets worthy of Harpo Marx; and Elise's college roommate Jennifer (Lauren German, HOSTEL PART II, THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE remake), a Hollywood-variety lipstick lesbian who still carries a torch for Elise but sets her sights on Lana in the meantime. Why, it's a powderkeg of dramatic and comedic entanglements just waiting to explode! Or at least snap, crackle, and pop.

James Van Der Beek lightens things up considerably as their movie-star friend Simon, a good-natured stud who doesn't have a lot going on upstairs (he's excited about his upcoming movie project, a Western he plans to do unscripted and whacked-out on peyote). The funniest character, though, is Ethan Embry (VEGAS VACATION's "Rusty Griswold") as Donavan Parker, a smarmy, ultra-chipper TV huckster with his own line of self-help tapes for fat kids who can't spell called "Power Time!", who weasels his way into a wedding invitation because he's got the hots for Lana. I like the scene where Donavan and Simon are sitting on the couch watching a "Power Time!" infomercial--Donavan's all hyper and bursting with pride at the insanely ridiculous display, while Simon looks at it with a "WTF is this?" expression.

I didn't know what to make of this movie at first; at times it's the classic chick flick, all obsessed with marriage and relationships and whatever, while the next minute it's like a milder version of BACHELOR PARTY (which starred Colin Hanks' dad in his salad days), with booze and weed and lap dances and other fun stuff. The guys go to a strip club in Vegas, courtesy of Simon's private jet, while the gals stay home and enjoy the services of a pizza delivery guy who's really a male stripper. (And of course when they shower the bride-to-be with gifts, one of them is a huge, floppy dildo--that's a given.)

There's the serious "let's-get-married" business for the girls, and T & A, party-time antics for the guys. Are scriptwriters Matthew Perniciaro and Timm Sharp a couple of schizos, or what? I guess this is a movie for couples, meaning that the guys who are forced to watch it by their wives or girlfriends will at least be partially entertained by it, which is damned thoughtful of old Matt and Timm.

I was partially entertained, despite the film's "marriage is good for you!" theme. The ensemble cast is good, and there are enough semi-interesting subplots to keep things moving along. One of those old reliable actors with a familiar face, Xander Berkeley (John Connor's milk-drinking stepdad in T2), shows up as Mikey's estranged father to add some extra drama to the proceedings. Some bare boobies also show up here and there to add some, uhh, boobage, which is always a plus, and there's even a little girl-girl action going on in Jennifer's bedroom.

The late arrival of Elise's kid sister, Sarah (Britney Spears lookalike Marnette Patterson) turns interesting when Quentin has sex with her and then finds out the next morning that, to quote Rick James, "she was only seventeen--seventeen--but she was SEX-eh!" And there are some good songs on the soundtrack by the likes of Squeeze, BTO, and Joan Jett.

All in all, I kinda liked STANDING STILL and wouldn't advise against your giving it a spin sometime, especially if you and that "special someone" want to watch something innocuous together. And it knows when to end, too--the pay-off of all these intertwining story elements is nothing terribly cathartic, but it's pleasant enough, and then BOOM! Fade-out. Wedding photos. Credit crawl. It doesn't wear out its welcome, and leaves you feeling--ehh--partially entertained.

Alien Rising is the story of a savvy ex-homeland security agent and martial arts expert is forced to a remote island to help the military unlock the secrets of an extraterrestrial technology.

Alien Rising will be released on VOD (iTunes, Cable VOD, Amazon Instant) on December 2, 2014 and DVD January 20, 2014.

Lisa Morgan (Hathaway) is an ex-homeland security agent and highly competent martial artist who gets drawn into the nefarious plans of the egomaniacal Colonel Cencula (Henriksen). He runs a top-secret research facility, buried in an extinct volcano on an uncharted tropical island. Cencula plans to use alien technology to build an army of drone soldiers. Morgan becomes an unwitting accomplice to the rogue Colonel's plans until she discovers the true nature of the research. She must stop him from succeeding at all cost.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

DIE HARD VOTED THE GREATEST ACTION FILM OF ALL TIMETime Out New York reveals the 100 best action movies, as decided by leading film industry figures.http://www.timeout.com/action

[New York, NY] November 3, 2014: A poll of action cinema's leading directors, performers, stunt people and film experts have revealed John McTiernan’s Die Hard (1988) as the best action film ever. Time Out New York surveyed over 50 experts to determine the definitive list of the 100 best action movies of all time.

The list, featuring films ranging from the 1890s to present day, reflects a remarkable diversity, with supercharged Hollywood classics like Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Wild Bunch sitting alongside a global bounty of martial-arts masterpieces, including Bruce Lee's Enter the Dragon and Jackie Chan's Drunken Master II. While action cinema is beloved by millions worldwide and enormously successful, the experts also praised lesser-known titles that have gained cult traction, such as Richard C. Sarafian's 1971 road movie Vanishing Point and William Friedkin's Sorcerer, which made the cut along with his Oscar-winning The French Connection."Returning to these action classics was incredibly fun," said Joshua Rothkopf, Film editor of Time Out New York. "Those boldface names—Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis, Eastwood, McQueen—are permanent ones. But doing this project also gave us a tour of the world, particularly the Far East: Hong Kong's exhilarating gun fu, the dazzling stunt work of Thailand and Indonesia, and Japan's classic samurai tradition. Our intent was to create the most authoritative ranking of action movies worldwide, and our participants, many of them prime movers in the field, all but guaranteed that."

To compile the results, Time Out New York polled over 50 industry leaders to rank the top ten action films of all time. From those submissions, Time Out editors tabulated rankings and released the list of the top 100 picks.

More of the survey’s findings:· The top 10 alone includes three films from Hong Kong (Hard Boiled, Enter the Dragon and Police Story), one from Australia (The Road Warrior) and one from Japan (Seven Samurai).

· Director James Cameron has three films in the top 20 (Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Aliens and The Terminator); director John Woo has two (Hard Boiled and Face/Off).

· While the list is full of classics, 2011’s The Raid: Redemption (No. 22) and 2012’s The Avengers (No. 83) are also included.

· The list’s oldest film is the groundbreaking silent short "Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat" (1896), ranking at an impressive No. 51.

The panel of action experts surveyed included:

· John McTiernan, director of Die Hard, Predator and The Hunt for Red October

· Martin Campbell, director of 2006's Casino Royale, which lent new life to the Bond franchise

· Neil Marshall, prolific director of The Descent, Doomsday and action-packed episodes of Game of Thrones

· Colin Geddes, longtime programmer of the Midnight Madness section of the Toronto International Film Festival

· Grady Hendrix, writer and cofounder of the New York Asian Film Festival

· Leading critics, including Time Out's own Dave Calhoun, Cath Clarke, Tom Huddleston and Joshua Rothkopf

· Over 40 other directors, writers and industry experts worldwide

The 100 best action movies:

1. Die Hard (1988)

2. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

3. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

4. Hard Boiled (1992)

5. The Road Warrior (1981)

6. Enter the Dragon (1973)

7. Police Story (1985)

8. The Wild Bunch (1969)

9. Seven Samurai (1954)

10. Aliens (1986)

11. The Matrix (1999)

12. RoboCop (1987)

13. First Blood (1982)

14. Once Upon a Time in China II (1992)

15. The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)

16. Predator (1987)

17. Ong-bak (2003)

18. The Terminator (1984)

19. Face/Off (1997)

20. Kill Bill (2003/2004)

21. The General (1926)

22. The Raid: Redemption (2011)

23. Bullitt (1968)

24. The Killer (1989)

25. Lethal Weapon (1987)

26. Project A (1983)

27. Drunken Master II (1994)

28. Heat (1995)

29. The 36th Chamber of Shaolin (1978)

30. Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)

31. Point Break (1991)

32. A Better Tomorrow (1986)

33. Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)

34. Oldboy (2003)

35. Dragons Forever (1988)

36. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

37. Commando (1985)

38. The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)

39. Eight Diagram Pole Fighter (1984)

40. The French Connection (1971)

41. The Bourne Identity (2002)

42. Leon: The Professional (1994)

43. The Blade (1995)

44. True Lies (1994)

45. Ben-Hur (1959)

46. Kill Zone—S.P.L. (2005)

47. The Professionals (1966)

48. Ip Man (2008)

49. Mission: Impossible (1996)

50. Kung Fu Hustle (2004)

51. "Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat" (1896)

52. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

53. Wheels on Meals (1984)

54. Spartacus (1960)

55. Rambo (2008)

56. Eastern Condors (1987)

57. The Prodigal Son (1981)

58. 300 (2006)

59. Flash Point (2007)

60. The Wages of Fear (1953)

61. Police Story 2 (1988)

62. The Dirty Dozen (1967)

63. North by Northwest (1959)

64. Runaway Train (1985)

65. Zatoichi (2003)

66. Pedicab Driver (1989)

67. Star Wars (1977)

68. Unleashed (a.k.a. Danny the Dog) (2005)

69. From Russia with Love (1963)

70. Vanishing Point (1971)

71. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

72. Ronin (1998)

73. Thunderball (1965)

74. The Rock (1996)

75. Police Story 3: Supercop (1992)

76. The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)

77. Hero (2002)

78. Dirty Harry (1971)

79. Raging Bull (1980)

80. The Dark Knight (2008)

81. Armour of God (1986)

82. The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

83. The Avengers (2012)

84. The Legend (1993)

85. Machete (2010)

86. The Mission (1999)

87. Scarface (1983)

88. The Magnificent Seven (1960)

89. Full Contact (1992)

90. Breakdown (1997)

91. Sorcerer (1977)

92. Duel to the Death (1983)

93. Bullet in the Head (1990)

94. 13 Assassins (2010)

95. Miami Vice (2006)

96. Shiri (1999)

97. Romancing the Stone (1984)

98. Lone Wolf & Cub 2: Baby Cart at the River Styx (1972)

99. War (2007)

100. Gladiator (2000)

ABOUT TIME OUT
Time Out is the ultimate insider guide for inspiring you to keep up and join in with all that’s new and best in your city.

Founded in 1968 in London by Tony Elliott, Time Out has since grown into a global media group that spans 67 cities across 37 countries with a monthly combined audience of over 33 million. No-one knows the city better than Time Out, and the business is uniquely positioned to provide the platform and marketplace for inspiring people to make the most of their own city through a distribution network, which incorporates a massively growing online presence, mobile applications, magazines, events and partnerships.

The expansion of the business through its global platform continues in the US with the addition of Time Out Las Vegas, Time Out Washington DC, Time Out Boston and Time Out Miami in March 2014, Time Out San Francisco in October 2014 and across the world with Time Out Madrid and Time Out Kuala Lumpur in May and June 2014.

In 2011, Oakley Capital acquired a controlling interest in the business.

The Quest through Middle-earth continues in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, from Academy Award®-winning filmmaker Peter Jackson1, when the epic fantasy adventure is released as an Extended Edition on Bluray 3D and Blu-ray on November 4th from Warner Bros. Home Entertainment (WBHE). A production of New Line Cinema and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures, this extended cut of the second film in The Hobbit Trilogy includes 25 minutes of extra film footage that extends individual scenes, making this the must-see, definitive version for fans. Both versions of the Extended Edition include more than nine hours of new bonus features that will enrich the experience of the Trilogy as fans gear up for the December 17 theatrical release of the third and final film, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Neither DIE HARD nor dead-on-arrival, Anchor Bay's new Blu-ray and DVD release FREE FALL (2014) is a "lite" serving of suspense for viewers who don't feel like gorging themselves on the full meal deal.

Malek Akkad, son of Moustapha and producer of several films in the HALLOWEEN series, serves up Dwayne Alexander Smith's lean, economic script with some equally no-nonsense direction in his feature-film debut. The simple setup gets the ball rolling with a minimum of muss and fuss, beginning with an apparent suicide as a junior business executive apparently takes a swan dive off the high-rise building where he works.

Meanwhile, ambitious exec Jane Porter (Sarah Butler, star of the I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE remake) can't decide what's more important--going off to live the simple life with her low-tech boyfriend Ray (Jayson Blair, "The New Normal", DETENTION OF THE DEAD) or risk losing him in favor of pursuing the brass ring in her high-powered job.

The death of her co-worker not only shakes Jane up but prompts her to investigate, revealing deep-seated corruption that goes all the way to the top (in the person of venerable Malcolm McDowell who classes things up by appearing in a few scenes as company CEO Thaddeus Gault) and possible--make that probable--foul play. And as these things inevitably go, her nosey Nancy Drew act puts her squarely in the top spot for the next hit.

We don't trust any of her coworkers and get a bad feeling when she confides in them about what she's uncovered, especially Ronald Taft (Ian Gomez, MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING), the pudgy, insecure-looking guy whom we've already seen having furtive words with Gault about who knows what.

Once the basics are in place, the story wastes little time in tipping its hand. Taft, who looks like one of those craven office drones who'd sell someone out in a heartbeat, instructs Jane to stay late preparing evidence for an internal security hearing only to show up later with a surly hitman named Frank (D.B. Sweeney, LONESOME DOVE, FIRE IN THE SKY, TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE) to punch Jane's clock for good.

After that it's your basic cat-and-mouse game inside a skyscraper, although the peril is a bit on the TV-movie level--after some initial gunfire and a breathless chase down an emergency stairwell, Jane manages to get stuck in an elevator where she will remain for the majority of the film. Having the main character trapped in an elevator while the evil hitman tries everything but a giant can opener to get her out generates mild suspense, but isn't exactly the sort of thing blockbuster thrillers are made of.

Still, if you go in expecting such modest goings on (I expected Jane to end up crawling around on the outside of the building several stories over the street below, but alas, was disappointed) then FREE FALL delivers adequately. Sarah Butler makes an appealing heroine while D.B. Sweeney, older and more rumpled-looking than I remember him from FIRE IN THE SKY and LONESOME DOVE, isn't quite as scary a hitman as one might wish, but does manage to be fairly imposing and implacable.

The fact that the "Jane" character practices kickboxing in her spare time allows for some gratifying action during her physical encounters with the hostile Frank. This helps to offset the scenes in which their prolonged standoff--she in the elevator, he watching her via a security camera--threatens to slow the film's pace down to a trudge.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 sound and subtitles in English and Spanish. A making-of featurette, in which we learn that a 60-foot elevator shaft was constructed just for the film, is the sole bonus feature.

Compared to all the glorious mayhem Bruce Willis managed to get himself into in a skyscraper, the much smaller-scaled FREE FALL comes off as small potatoes. But if you happen to like potatoes, you'll probably find this dish tasty enough.