16 Jan The 4th Annual Jammies – celebrating the year in cinema

Can you believe we’re already up to the fourth annual Jammies? It only seems like yesterday my very own little piece of awards season was born. If you’re new to the site, and have no idea what the hell this is, welcome! Four years ago, I decided to create my own awards, but generally avoid the typical categories we’re subjected to, week after week, during this time of year.

It’s a mostly positive affair, with a couple of sneaky stabs thrown in for the, ah, lesser cinematic achievements of the year. But it was a glorious year for cinema, and the Jammies are about looking back and acknowledging the stand-out films and performances that struck a chord with this film critic.

Last year, we had seven nominees in each category. But this year, we’re going Academy Awards circa 2009, and expanding out to ten. There is too much to celebrate (and commiserate) this year. And with so many possible nominees, it would be unfair to ignore so many deserving contenders.

So without further ado, let the 4th Annual Jammies commence!

Box-Office Shocker
This award is given to the box-office result that surprised the most in 2017. And the nominees are:

Justice League struggles to meet expectations, with a “disappointing” $650 million worldwide, and failing to crack the top 10 box-office earners of 2017.

Wonder Woman stuns the world and takes over $800 million worldwide to become the highest-grossing superhero origin film of all time.

It becomes a runaway success, taking over $700 million worldwide.

Beauty and the Beast cracks over $1 billion, and spends the bulk of the year as the highest-grossing film of the year.

Spider-Man: Homecoming beats its comic-book rivals to end the year with over $880 million and the title of highest-grossing superhero film of 2017.

Despite struggling severely in the U.S., Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales still takes almost $800 million worldwide.

With a relatively small budget of $20 million, the sleeper hit of the year is Wonder, with over $230 million worldwide.

On a tiny budget of only $4.5 million, Get Out surprises all pundits and brings in over $250 million worldwide.

Despite failing to meet the success of it predecessors in the U.S., Despicable Me 3 manages to crack over $1 billion worldwide.

With a reported budget of over $175 million, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword flops hard and takes less than $150 million worldwide.

*Please note, Star Wars: The Last Jedi was ruled ineligible for this award, as the ridiculous success of these new Star Wars films are no longer considered a “shocker”…

And the winner is…

Wonder Womanfor defying all expectations and proving a female-led superhero film, directed by a female director, no less, can be an enormous and resounding success. Bonus points for also managing to out-gross all other DCEU films, at the same time. Bow down, boys.

Honourable mention/runner-up – It

Biggest SurpriseThis award is given to the film which managed to delight without any prior warning or hype OR defied expectations to become something completely unexpected. And the nominees are:

The Big SickCars 3 (only because of how god-awful the second film was)The Florida ProjectGet OutItKong: Skull IslandLady BirdThor: RagnarokWonderWonder Woman

And the winner is…

The Big Sick for gifting us one of the most moving and touching romanic comedies of all time. On paper, the film seemed like any other boy-meets-girl romantic comedy. But, thanks to Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon’s impeccable screenplay, it was something else entirely. With all the tropes you expect from this genre, plus a heavy helping of social commentary and the deeply moving conflict that is familial expectation, there was nothing quite like The Big Sick in 2017.

Honourable mention/runner-up – Get Out

Biggest Disappointment
This award is given to the film which held such great promise, but ultimately and crushingly failed to deliver on that potential. And the nominees are:

Alien: Covenant
Atomic Blonde
The Dark Tower
Ghost in the Shell
Justice League
Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Life
The Mummy
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No TalesValerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

And the winner is…

Justice League for disappointing millions of eagerly awaiting fans. After decades of expectations, perhaps it was always destined DC’s answer to Marvel’s The Avengers would fall under the weight of its own unfortunate hype. It wasn’t a complete disaster, and there were some elements to enjoy. But, on the whole, and by comparison with what Marvel has gifted us, it was a colossal disappointment. Back to the drawing board, DC.

Dishonourable mention/runner-up – Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Best PerformanceThis award is probably the closest to a category typically seen throughout awards season, and is given to the most outstanding performance seen on film in 2017. And the nominees are:

Timothée Chalametfor his revelatory performance as Elio in Call Me By Your Name. One could make an argument for any of these ten nominees to take this out, but something about Chalamet’s impeccable performance has stuck with since seeing the film back in October. It may not have the showiness of some of the other contenders, but it’s in Chalamet’s subtleties that his performance really stands above all others. His Oscar challenge may be essentially done and dusted, but he’ll be the winner, in my eyes.

Honourable mention/runner-up – Saoirse Ronan

Best Voice-Over/Motion-Capture PerformanceThis award is given to the actor who managed to create a brilliant performance with nothing but their voice. And the nominees are:

Andy Serkis for his final, and most glorious, performance as Caesar in War for the Planet of the Apes. Serkis revolutionised the art of motion-capture performance with his work as Gollum in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, but his work in the Apes trilogy has been utterly masterful. It was bittersweet to bid farewell to one of the most underrated and iconic characters of recent times, but his legacy will live on. It’s a travesty the Academy still won’t award Serkis’ motion-capture performances with a nomination. Surely an honorary award is on the horizon?

Honourable mention/runner-up – Anthony Gonzalez

Breakthrough PerformanceThis award is given to the performance that blew audiences away and gave the world a break-out star. And the nominees are:

Brooklynn Prince for her beautiful and heartbreaking performance as Moonee in The Florida Project. With her cheeky attitude and naive bravado, Moonee was the most sublime character to enjoy, and Prince’s performance is an absolute force of nature. It marked the arrival of a truly brilliant child actor, and I personally cannot wait to see what she gifts us with next.

Honourable mention/runner-up – Tiffany Haddish

Worst PerformanceThis award is given to the performance that elicited the worst kind of emotions a film-goer can experience. Some of these actors are often quite impressive (three Oscar winners, come on!), but they all took a bad misstep this year with these woeful performances. And the nominees are:

Ben Affleck for giving us something entirely new for the franchise – a Batman who seems to want to be anywhere else but in this film. After an impressive debut in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Affleck appears to already be completely tired of this role. It’s astonishing to see an actor seemingly give up, after only one film. Look at how many times Chris Evans or Robert Downey Jnr. have performed their superhero roles, and you would never accuse them of this. Wake up, Ben. There’s more films to come.

Dishonourable mention/runner-up – Cara Delevingne

Best MomentThis award is given to that one special stand-out moment from a film that lives with you long after you’ve left the cinema. And the nominees are:

The 9/11 joke in The Big Sick
K and Joi’s holographic love scene in Blade Runner 2049
Elio’s father monologue in Call Me By Your Name
The civilian boats arrive in Dunkirk
Moonee makes her escape in The Florida Project
Chris enters the sunken place in Get Out
The funeral of a beloved favourite in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Georgie meets Pennywise in It
The throne room fight scene in Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Diana bravely crosses No Man’s Land in Wonder Woman

And the winner is…

Elio’s father’s monologue in Call Me By Your Name. This monologue stands as the best piece of screenwriting this year. It’s the kind of movie quote you rush out to locate the moment the film is over. Overwhelmingly beautiful and stunningly affecting, it left me completely floored. Michael Stuhlbarg’s impeccable delivery of James Ivory’s words is the sole reason he deserves an Oscar nomination.

Honourable mention/runner-up – The civilian boats arrive in Dunkirk

Best Music MomentThis award is given to that special stand-out moment from a film that involves music in some way. And the nominees are:

Lorraine faces off against a swarm of goons, set to George Michael’s “Father Figure” in Atomic Blonde
The opening sequence, set to The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion’s “Bellbottoms” in Baby DriverA holographic Elvis Presley lives again in Las Vegas in Blade Runner 2049
Elio and Oliver dance to The Psychedlic Furs’ “Love My Way” in Call Me By Your Name
Coco sings “Remember Me” to his Mama Coco in CocoJenny Lind belts out “Never Enough” in The Greatest Showman
Baby Groot dances to ELO’s “Mr. Blue Sky” in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2Lady Bird’s love of Dave Matthews Band’s “Crash Into Me” in Lady Bird
The underwater dance sequence, set to Alice Faye’s “You’ll Never Know Just How Much I Love You” in The Shape of Water
Thor battles Surtur and his henchmen, set to Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song” in Thor Ragnarok

And the winner is…

The opening sequence of Baby Driver.In all honesty, I was tempted to just nominate the entire film for this category, as its soundtrack is so intrinsically linked to this film’s narrative. It stands as the ultimate example of a piece of cinema being so perfectly fused with its soundtrack. Writer/director Edgar Wright’s love of music shines in his brilliant film, and with every deft soundtrack choice, he locates a piece of music that matches its cinematic sequence flawlessly. But the film’s opening sequence is the stand-out, and gloriously sets the tone for the magic to come.

Honourable mention/runner-up – Elio and Oliver dance to The Psychedlic Furs’ “Love My Way” in Call Me By Your Name

Dream Duo/TeamThis award is given to the duo or team that worked together in perfect harmony to create movie magic in 2017. And the nominees are:

Baby and Deborah in Baby Driver
The women of Miss Farnsworth’s Seminary for Young Ladies in The Beguiled
Elio and Oliver in Call Me By Your Name
Moonee and Halley in The Florida Project
The Flossy Posee in Girls TripThe Losers Club in It
Lady Bird and Marion in Lady Bird
Logan and Charles in Logan
Thor and Korg in Thor: RagnarokDiana and Steve in Wonder Woman

And the winner is…

Lady Bird and Marion in Lady Bird. One of the greatest mother-daughter relationships ever seen on-screen. With the sublime performances of Saoirse Ronan and Laurie Metcalf, it’s truly magic to watch these two performance opposite each other. Both firecrackers of wit and sarcasm, it’s a pairing unlike any other in 2017. There’s a deep love between the two, but it’s buried beneath a whole lot of hostility, and it makes for a magical dream duo.

Honourable mention/runner-up – The Flossy Posee in Girls Trip

Most Unnecessary Sequel, Remake, Reboot, or Re-imaginingThis award is given to the sequel or remake that no one asked for, and was only a desperate attempt to grab some cash in the already overcrowded franchise marketplace. And the nominees are:

Alien: Covenant
Baywatch
Flatliners
Ghost in the Shell
The Mummy
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Power Rangers
Transformers: The Last Knight
Underworld: Blood Wars
xXx: The Return of Xander Cage

And for the fourth year in a row, the joint-winners are…all of them! Congratulations to the studio executives behind these films, for once again proving that the opportunity to make some dollars at the box-office generally outweighs the need to tell a good story. Who needs originality when you can just drag out the same shit that audiences have already seen before? I’m not against sequels and remakes. I’m against lazy sequels and remakes which all of these were. Please stop. Give us something new or don’t bother.

Most Anticipated Film of 2018This award is given to the upcoming film that The Jam Report is counting down the days until, while at the same time praying that it doesn’t wind up taking next year’s Biggest Disappointment crown. And the nominees are:

Black Panther, which marks one of Marvel’s most original and daring projects yet. Featuring the most glorious African-American cast, the film is a tantalising opportunity for Marvel to freshen their cinematic universe like never before. With underrated writer/director Ryan Coogler at the helm, cinematography from Rachel Morrison (potential Oscar-nominee for Mudbound), and a sensational cast led by Chadwick Boseman, this could be something genuinely special. Long live the king.

Honourable mention/runner-up – Mary Poppins Returns

Special Award of Excellence for the Criminally UnderratedThis award is given to the performer who will shamefully be overlooked for nominations/wins during awards season this year, and so The Jam Report would like to give them something, since no one else will. And the nominees are:

Tiffany Haddish in one of the stand-out performances of the season. I desperately tried to make a case for the Academy to nominate Haddish for Best Supporting Actress, but it’s not looking likely. She deserves to be recognised for one of the most hilarious and dazzling performances of 2017. You cannot take your eyes off Haddish in Girls Trip. She commands every single scene she appears in, and delivers the films greatest lines. That hotel lobby sequence where Dina finally lets loose (“I love you, but I hate you, bitch!”) is utterly marvellous and downright hysterical. Haddish is a true star-in-the-making, and it’s a damn shame her talents are likely to be ignored by the Academy this year.

Honourable mention/runner-up – Betty Gabriel

Congratulations (and perhaps commiserations) to the winners of the 4th Annual Jammies. I hope you’ve enjoyed my little slice of awards season. See you all next year.