1960's Catholic grade school with mean Nuns as teachers was a recipe of pure Hell. I knew my mission in life the day I pulled Sister Ann Teresa’s habit off her head. I had to know what secret treasures lay hidden beneath.

Archive for the ‘Pyschic Predictions’ Category

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come spouting predictions, to last all year.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. And year 2013.

Last year, 2012, I predicted accurately the passing of Joe Paterno, Dick Clark, Jonathan Frid. Also predicted Princess Kate being pregnant, finding the God Particle, the new Iphone specs, a magnitude of 7.0 earthquake in Japan, the Crimson Tide winning the BCS, Randy Moss returning to football, the Buckeyes going undefeated, gasoline prices dipping under three dollars, and many more shocking predictions. Below are my 2013 psychic predictions. Enjoy.

1) Miley Cyrus gets married. No more speculation that her engagement was a publicity stunt. Now about her haircut….

2) Lindsay Lohan declares bankruptcy. She hit rock bottom not only in life, but also at the bank.

3) Charlie Sheen goes to jail. Winning!

4) After a long run, Ghost Hunters gets canceled. Main problem, no hard photographic evidence after 10 years.

5) Tom Cruise gets outed on the Ellen show by accident.

6) President Jimmy Carter passes.

7) Denver Broncos win Superbowl. Just wait what Pappa John’s Pizza does next. Failed: Manning and the Bronco’s get ousted in the divisional playoffs. Side Note: Tim Tebow has won more playoff games in Denver than Manning.

8) The Boston Celtics win the NBA championship after running into a rough patch most of the season. Failed: The Celtics ran out of steam and were eliminated.

9) The Cincinnati Reds return to glory and wins The World Series.

10) The NHL cancels this season. Close to desertification. FAILED: The NHL has settled and are playing a shortened season.

11) Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson break up for good. (See prediction #12 for reason) Success: They are now toast.

12) A Kristen Stewart sex tape surfaces. And it is not with Robert Pattinson.

13) Microsoft corporation flexes its muscles and doubles its market share in the phone and tablet sector. Success: At the end of 2012, Microsoft only had 1.9% share and as of June 1st 2013, has nearly 5% of the market.

14) Courtney Stoddard is pregnant. Does anyone care anymore?

15) Rihanna gets beat up again. Welcome to relationships are us.

16) Former NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens, 40 years old, gets signed by an NFL team.

17) A rogue comet will pass so close to Earth it will appear larger than our own moon. Yes, it is planet killer size. Success: Asteroid 2012 DA14, the size of a city block travelling at over 28000 miles per hour passed in-between Earth and and the moon.

34) Milla Jovovich announces yet another Resident Evil movie. It will make millions like the others before it. Success: Resident Evil Six is slated yo open in early 2014. And yes, it will make millions like all the previous movies.

35) Tom Brady hangs up the cleats and retires after his playoff run. Giselle is ecstatic.

45) Basketballer Kris Humphries throws a wrench in the Kanye Kim K baby nuptials. He lays claim under California law that since he is still technically married to Kim, the baby is his. Success: Kumphries did make it very difficult for the Kardashian clan.

46) Jennifer Aniston finally, finally, gets married.

47) Taylor Swift scandal. Taylor lets it slip. Nippy.

48) NBC’s Matt Lauer gets fired.

49) The Star Trek franchise has another hit as Into The Darkness is a major motion picture hit breaking all Star Trek box office records. Success: Into the Darkness is a top box office success.

50) Fifty Years of conspiracy frenzy concerning president Kennedy and the grassy knoll, and finally, hard evidence is revealed that a second shooter was involved as a recently passed secret service agents family member discovers a strong box in the attic with revealing information.

There you have it readers. 50 bold predictions for the new year.
Lets see how good my clairvoyant powers fare for the 2013 year. Check back weekly as each prediction comes into play.

It’s that time of year faithful Grassy Knoll Institute faithful. I, LOTGK, the Curator have focused my considerable psychic abilities to steal a glimpse into the future and reveal 50 bold predictions for 2012. Some of the predictions may shock you, may make you laugh or cry, and probably down right false. However, in 2011, I correctly predicted the capture and execution of Osama Bin laden, the Kim Kardashian marriage and quick divorce, the Charlie Sheen debacle, That Jessica Simpson would become pregnant, the J-Lo divorce, and many more successful predictions.

Lets see how good my clairvoyant powers fare for the 2012 year. Check back regularly as predictions come true or fall short. (Nostradamus has nothing on me)

1) Leslie Frasier, head coach for the Minnesota Vikings gets fired as Zygi Wilf once again begins from scratch. That’s three head coaches in 6 years. Tice, Childress, Frasier. Failed: Frasier has the Vikings poised for the playoffs.

2) Jim Tressel, former head coach of “Thee” Ohio State Buckeyes football team, becomes a head coach in the NFL. Failed: Jimmy is no where to be seen.

3) Joe Paterno, who stepped down from his head coach position of Penn State due to the rape scandal of his former assistant coaches, is found dead.01/22/2012 Long time Penn state football coach Joe Paterno passed away from lung cancer today.

4) Zsa Zsa Gabor succumbs to her illness and passes away.

5) The princess of England, Kate, is pregnant. Now all they need is a spare. Success: Kate is knocked up. But who is the father?

6) Regis Philbin, long time host of the successful Today show, passes away.

8) Lindsay Lohan likes the job she has at the morgue so well, she decides to stay on after her required time she was ordered to perform. Failed: Like Lindsay’s career, this prediction has failed miserably.

9) Lebron James will still have one in common with Stevie Wonder. Both don’t know what a championship ring looks like. Damn, James won his ring beating Oklahoma City.

10) The elusive often thought of as a myth, the Higgs Boson God particle is discovered. This heralds the beginning of the understanding of the universe and the minute role we play.SUCCESS: Scientists concur in a 5 sigma result which means they are 99. 999% sure they have found the “God” particle.

11) In Egypt, another Pharoah kings tomb is located. The tomb will be almost pristine, untouched for millennia.

13) The new Iphone 5 will debut in 2012 and will be radically reconfigured. It will have a 4 inch screen and will have the capability to wifi to your TV or computer. Success: Everything above is spot on.

14) The Baltimore Ravens win the Super Bowl.FAILED: 01/22/2012 The Ravens lost to the Pats today in a close game that went down to the wire.

15) the Boston Celtics in the shortened lockout season, win the NBA championship.Failed: The Celtics lost in the finals.

16) The New York Yankees return to glory and win the World Series. Failed: Damn Yankees.

17) The Minnesota Vikings, after an ongoing ten-year negotiation, fail to get the stadium deal approved opening the door for the team to leave.The Vikings were denied approval of a new stadium deal as Gov. Dayton said there were not enough votes.

18) Japan will suffer an earthquake of at least a 7.0 magnitude. No serious damage will occur to its nuclear reactors.Just several hours after posting this years predictions, an earthquake with a magnitude of 7.0 shook Japan. No serious injury.

19) Google will tighten its grip on their Android operating system and announce that all Android phone makers must adhere to a rigid design plan.Google to manufacturers: Include your own Holo theme for the newest version of Android if they wish to get their device officially licensed by them as an official Google product.

20) Microsoft actually introduces something useful. They will update their cell phone design, their operating system to encompass all types of electronic media.Success! Microsoft has Windows 8 due to deliver in October, Windows 8 is a completely new operating system and the Nokia Lumia 900 debuts to rave reviews.

21) Microsoft also introduces its tablet, it will rival the Ipad and Android tablets.SUCCESS: Microsoft announced their new tablet, “The Surface” which will be available in October of this year.

22) Katie Perry Splits with Russel Brand.I had this already penciled in when I saw that Brand had just filed. So, I will not count this one. 01/01/2012

23) Justin Bieber’s teenage romance stalls and he breaks it off with Selena Gomez. Success: Both have moved on. Thank the Mayan calendar for that.

24) Michael Lohan, Lindsay Lohan’s father, winds up in jail. Success: It was an easy prediction.

25) George Clooney gets bored, and dumps Stacey Keibler.

26) Rock legend Madonna debuts a new album, and it tanks.SUCCESS: No one really knows she even dropped a new album.

27) A new Star Trek series is announced.

28 A double prediction for Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay inks a deal for a major movie role that will re-ignite her acting career.Lindsay secured the starring role in the Elizabeth Taylor biopic, a major role indeed.

29) Amber Portman, MTV Teen Mom will survive a suicide watch.

30) Kelly Ripa’s Today show will be canceled. The ratings plummet without Regis.

31) Long Time FOX series House is extended for one more year.Failed! FOX announced this will be the last season for House.

34) The Mayan calendar is not correct. The world will not end on December 21st. Success: We’re still here.

35) Jerry Lewis, long time icon of the MD Telethon, after being fired as chairman, gets re-instated for the labor day airing. Failed: Didn’t even have a telethon this year.

36) Northeast Ohio will experience a 5.0 magnitude earthquake. It will be the worst one in Ohio.

37) Newly appointed North Korean “Dear Leader” Kim Jong-Un will stay the course of his father regime and keep the border closed and secretive.SUCCESS: Un has been business as usual with his new regime.

38) Jonathan Frid, actor who portrayed the 175 year old vampire Barnabus Collins in the soap opera Dark Shadows in the 1960’s, passes away.Frid died April 16th, just a few weeks before the release of the rebooted Dark shadows remake starring Johnny Depp.

39) A new technology in battery storage extends the charge by over 50 percent. This leads the way to not only cell phone batteries, but new electric cars.

40) The Crimson Tide rolls to victory over LSU to win the BCS National Championship game.The Crimson Tide shut out LSU 21-0 to capture the BCS championship game.

41) Randy Moss, NFL retired wide receiver, signs on with yet another team to continue his career and quest to win a Super Bowl.Success! Randy Moss has signed a contract with the San Francisco 49ers for the 2012 season.

42) Britney Spears winds up pregnant. Federline denies paternity.

43) The Kardashians reality television series gets canceled. Thank God.

44) Arnold Schwarzenegger announces he is reviving the terminator franchise.

45) Thee Ohio State Buckeyes football team under new head coach Urban Meyer wins enough games to be the Big Ten Champions. Success: Buckeyes went undefeated and would have been big ten champs.

48) Lady Gaga announces her retirement. She wants to marry and have little monsters of her own. Success: For all intent and purposes, she has retired.

49) The Duggars family, all 20 kids and counting, will not have any more children as the family doctor performs surgery on Michelle preventing any more pregnancies to save her life. Success: No more counting.

50) Gasoline prices will dip below $3.00 per gallon.SUCCESS: Gas prices in major cities have dipped below the $3 dollar line reporting in South Carolina and Florida prices in the $2.90 range.

There you have it folks. Fifty bold predictions to keep you satisfied until 2013, which, coincidentally, according to the Mayan calendar, the world will never see.

At this time every year, I the Curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute focuses my psychic abilities to steal a glimpse into the future. I then reveal 50 bold predictions for the 2011 year. What follows may shock you, may make you laugh and cry, and probably down right false. However, in 2010, I correctly predicted the controversy surrounding Lady Gaga, The Tiger Woods incident, FORD motor company, Labron James leaving Cleveland, The U.S. economy, and many more successful predictions.

Lets see how good my clairvoyant powers fare for the 2011 year. Check back regularly as predictions come true or fall short. (Nostradamus has nothing on me)

01) Wesley Snipes, through a legal loop-hole, gets out of jail early. Two years early.02) Lindsay Lohan has a normal year, no jail time, no illicit drug use, not showing up bombed at events. She actually attends her AA meetings regularly.FAILED: Lindsay has been in and out of court all year and is now serving 90 days under house arrest.
03) ABC Network producers pitch a Lost movie sequel, a continuation of the Lost castaways.04) The Atlanta Falcons win the Superbowl.FAILED: The Falcons lost to the Packers and are sitting at home wondering what the Hell happened.05) The Boston Celtics win the NBA championship. Kobe is pissed.FAILED: Celtics lose the semi’s.06) Auburn wins the BCS National Championship.SUCCESS: Cam Newton led the Tigers to a perfect season and the BCS championship.
07) Sarah Palin, while protecting Alaska from an invasion from Russia, thwarts her own kidnapping attempt.08) Osama Bin Laden will be captured. SUCCESS: President Obama announced last night 05/01/2011 that Bin Laden was killed in a fire fight in Pakistan.09) Kim Kardashian gets married. It won’t last six months. SUCCESS: KARDASHIAN MARRIED CHIR HUMPHREYS LESS THAN 3 MONTHS AGO AND FILED FOR DIVORCE TODAY, 10/31/201110) Facebook will become the most viewed web site, outscoring even the search giant Google.SUCCESS: Facebook becomes the most viewed page, even more than Google. Face Book Rank
11) Microsoft will announce a new program that will be open source.
12) Jennifer Anistan gets engaged.13) AMC channel The Walking Dead becomes a top 10 program.SUCCESS: Walking Dead is the most watched cable program of all time. Walking Dead Ratings14) NBC’s “The Event” gets canceled.SUCCESS: NBC announced the Event will not return and not even SYFY network could turn it around.15) The Cincinnati Reds win the World Series.FAILED: Cincy didn’t come close.16) Brett Favre finally retires. For good this time.SUCCESS: Brett Favre signs his retitrement papers and reaches out to Green Bay for a ceremonial sighing so he may retire as a Packer.
17) Brett Favre gets divorced.
18) A fifth Indiana Jones movie is announced.
19) Sean Connery will reprise his role as secret agent 007.20) A radical new Internet connecting device will sweep the land making your online presence almost as being in real-time.SUCCESS: Google Plus now has 10 million users and adding millions per day. It is the Facebook killer.21) Harry Potter finale will be the biggest movie of the year.SUCCESS: Harry Potter Finale has become the biggest movie of all time, not just the year.
22) Will Farrell’s movie will tank, no matter what it’s called.23) Charlie Sheen goes on a bender, winds up in Rehab. SUCCESS: After a hard week of partying and porn stars, Sheen checks himself into rehab.
24) Chelsea Handler gets married.
25) Conan O’Brien rolls out a new line of slim wear, “The Conan Jeggings.”
26) Unseen footage of the late night talk show host legend Johnny Carson is uncovered, the footage becomes a smash hit for NBC.27) American Idol tanks in ratings. Simon is smiling. SUCCESS: The ratings are in and American Idol ratings are down 30% without Simon.
28) A metallic object is scanned and found to be embedded deep in the Earths crust. Origin is unknown.
29) The Minnesota Vikings announce they will move out of the state of Minnesota.
30) Twitter gets knocked offline for several days, a new start-up social page picks up steam in its place.31) Leslie Frazier becomes the new head coach for the Minnesota Vikings. SUCCESS: Vikings named Frazier head coach today, 01/03/2011
32) Miley Cyrus is arrested for drug use.33) Jessica Simpson is pregnant. SUCCESS: SIMPSON CONFIRMED THE RUMORS THAT INDEED SHE IS EXPECTING HER FIRST CHILD. 10/31/2011
34) Pope Benedict will survive an assassination attempt.35) Tiger Woods gets his life back on track and wins a major tournament. SUCCESS: 12/04/2011 – Woods wins the Chevron World Challenge by one shot over former Masters champion Zach Johnson.
36) Key evidence from the John Kennedy assassination will be uncovered. This evidence will shed light on a conspiracy involving the government and elected officials.37) Science Fiction television series V will be cancelled this year. SUCCESS! V was not picked up for a third season. 38) Hugh Hefner sires a child with new bride Crystal Harris. FAILED: Harris bolted on the old man before the wedding.
39) Megan fox will divorce Brian Austin Green.
40) Kate Middleton, future wife of Prince William, winds up pregnant.
41) The boy band N’Sync will reunite for a tour.
42) Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart call it quits.43) Johnny Depp wins the elusive Oscar this year. FAILED: Depp was locked out of the Oscars. Perhaps next year Johnny.
44) The Grand Canyon Sky Walk will shut down due to equipment failure almost allowing the walk way to give way.45) Justin Beiber will debut a new hair style.SUCCESS: On February 5th Saturday Night Live program, Beiber debuts a new hair style while on the skit with Dana Carver playing the church lady.
46) Snooki from the Jersey Shore has a situation of her own, she’s pregnant.47) Jennifer Lopez will divorce Marc Anthony. Money will be the contributing factor. SUCCESS: J-Lo announced the divorce on July 4th, How befitting, it’s Independence day.48) Gas prices will tip over $4.00 per gallon.SUCCESS: Gas prices rocketed to $4.15 per gallon over the weekend.
49) Taylor Swift gets engaged.50) MySpace social network becomes insignificant, attempts to reinvent itself, but alas, to no avail. SUCCESS: Myspace created a new interface for users and a new email system. The new interface is not working as droves of people are closing their accounts signaling the death march for Myspace. R.I.P. 2011

There you have it folks. Fifty bold predictions to keep you satisfied until 2012, which, coincidentally, is the end of the world.

Once a year the Grassy Knoll Institute gathers our psychic abilities and much like Nostradamus did over 500 years ago, we peer into the future to reveal 50 predictions for the 2010 year. What follows may shock you, may make you laugh and cry, and is probably down right false. However, in 2009, I correctly predicted Brett Favre coming out of retirement, The Yankee’s winning the World Series and the breakup of Tony Roma and Jessica Simpson. In Hollywood, I predicted the Death of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ted Kennedy, and of course the Lindasy Lohan breakup,. Plus many more successful predictions.

Lets see how good my clairvoyant powers fare for the 2010 year. Check back regularly as predictions come true or fall short.

50 Shocking Predictions For 2010

2 Johnny Depp moves forward on a revival epic tale of Dark Shadows, and uses a small film footage of Jonathan Frid before he passed away.

3. Hugh Hefner, Playboy founder dies. He dies happy.

4. Kate Hudson rekindles her romance with Owen Wilson.

5. Lady Gaga, one of the top entertainers of 2009 and rumored to be a man, is revealed to be total woman. SUCCESSFUL: Snopes.com confirms Lady Gaga is just that. All woman. Lady Gaga All Woman 02/02/2010

6. Ryan Seacrest, forever a bachelor, and perhaps the hardest working celebrity in Hollywood, finds the time to get engaged.

7. Contrary to popular opinion, Tiger Woods gets divorced. Elin tee’s off on his fortune and takes him to the cleaners by utilizing a loophole in the pre-nup agreement she signed. SUCCESS: Tiger and Elin finalized their divorce this morning. 08/23/2010

8. Michael Jackson will be named the father of a child and irrefutable proof will be offered. He will contest the will.

9. David Hasselhoff, Star of Knight Rider and Baywatch, is committed to rehab for alcohol poisoning. Somebody get that mana cheeseburger.

10. The New York Yankees repeat and win the World Series.

11. The Boston Celtics win the NBA Championship. FAILURE: The Celtics lost game 7 to the Lakers.
12. The Minnesota Vikings led by Brett Favre wins the Super Bowl. FAILED: THE VIKINGS LOST TO THE SAINTS IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME 01/27/2010

13. Brett Favre contemplates retirement once more, but comes back for 2010 to play for the Vikings. SUCCESS: Brett Favre returned to the Vikings earlier this week and played Sunday night against the 49ers. 08/23/2010

14. The NHL downsizes, eliminates several non profitable teams.

15. Ford Motor Company becomes America’s #1 car dealer. SUCCESS: DETROIT — The Ford Motor Company said Tuesday that its sales increased 43 percent in February, allowing it to outsell General Motors, and at least for one month, become the top-selling automaker in America. 03/02/2010 Ford #1 Automaker

17. ABC Lost secret is revealed to be…..
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course. FAILURE: Lost was all about Purgatory, not aliens, not virtual reality.

18. Kim Kardashian gets married. No one cares.

19. Labron James, Cleveland Cavaliers all star, leaves for greener pastures. SUCCESS: James opted out of Cleveland and signed with the Miami Heat.

20. Snoop Dog gets busted and is sentenced to jail time.

21. Tim Tebow, Florida quarterback, Heisman trophy winner, drops out of the top 20 picks in the 2010 NFL draft. SUCCESS: Tim Tebow was selected 25th over all by the Denver bronco’s.

22. Angelina and Brad Pitt, the most powerful Hollywood couple, split up. Her lips are not to blame. This time!

23. Jon and Kate plus the eight children, both strapped for cash, reconcile to continue the popular reality cable program. Ratings are through the roof.

25. Kevin Federline goes on a strict diet and loses a ton of weight. SUCCESSFUL: Federline just signed on to VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club, Boot Camp.

26. With his new weight loss physique, Kevin Federline is offered a TV pilot. SUCCESSFUL: Federline is on the reality TV program VH1 Celebrity Fit Club and airs February 8th.

27. An Aids cure and vaccine is announced, stem cell replacement is the major component to the cure. Human trials begin at the end of the year. SUCCESSFUL: Man with AIDS cured by stem cell technology. 12/16/2010 Link Here

30. Ringo Starr, drummer for the legendary 1960’s rock band, The Beatles, dies. Ironically, that leaves only Paul McCartney, who if you recall, was rumored to be dead, killed in a car crash.

31. Sarah Palin, author of Going Rogue, and oh yea, former Governor of Alaska, has a nipple slip moment. The photo runs wild on the Internet. It only helps to boost her ratings.

32. Khloe Kardashian gets divorced. Who couldn’t have predicted this?

33. Terrel Owens leaves the Bills. Claims he wants to play for a winner. SUCCESS: T. Owens was released from the Bills several months ago and is currently a free agent. Perhaps Dancing With The Stars can fit him in.

34. David Letterman gets divorced after past digressions catch up to him.

35. Carrie Prejean, controversial former Miss California, gets offered a reality TV series role. Donald Trump has nothing to do with it.

37. The Martian Landers, originally only manufactured to operate for 90 days, went into overtime and worked for years sending back data to Earth until both landers shut down. However, one of the landers will miraculously turn back on and beam starling photos back to Earth.

38. The US economy rebounds, albeit slowly as unemployment numbers go down and housing and construction go on the rise. SUCCESS: The American economy, albeit a slight increase, is rebounding as housing has increased several points, the stock market moved over 11,000 points, General Motors has repaid their government loan in full, and the unemployment rate is slowing.

39. President Obama jump starts the economy with a rapid transit initiative setting in motion thousands of construction and fabricating jobs as the nations railroad is rebuilt. SUCCESSFUL: President Obama announced today (01/28/2010) $8 billion in grants to develop high speed transit in 31 states beginning with California, Florida, and Illinois.

40. Party crashers like Tareq and Michaele Salahi, attempt to crash an Obama party. The secret service confirming a threat, kills one, wounds another. A strong message is sent.

41. Kim Jong II, ruler of North Korea, succumbs from his illness and dies.

44. Scientists, through the use of powerful telescopes will discover a planet that could sustain life. SUCCESS! Yesterday, NASA and the NSF announced the detection of what may be the first Earth-like planet orbiting in its star’s habitable zone, meaning that it might play host to liquid water. This is a pretty big deal. The paper describing the findings calls this “one of the holy grails of exoplanet research,” and one of the scientists involved in the discovery, in a fit of over-enthusiasm, even claimed that he was certain there would be life there. But there’s actually no guarantee that, even within the habitable zone, liquid water will be present, much less life. That’s the bad news, though; the good news is that its discovery implies that similar planets might be relatively abundant. The star, Gliese 581, is only about 20 light years away.

45. Michael Lohan, father to actress Lindsay, crosses the line once to many times, gets arrested once more. SUCCESSFUL: He was arrested Thursday morning (01/28/2010) and charged with criminal contempt in violation of an order of protection.

49. Roman Polanski gets dragged back to the states to face rape charges from 1973.

50. Barack Obama is not immuned to sex scandals. A woman will come forward and claim to have bore a son and Obama is the father.

There you have it folks. 50 shocking psychic predictions for 2010 from the Grassy Knoll Institute. Check back weekly to see my updates throughout the year as my predictions come to fruition. Or heavens forbid, turn out to be wrong.

As in previous years, the Grassy Knoll Institute has dusted off our psychic abilities and boldly peered into our psychic crystal ball of the future to reveal 50 shocking predictions for the 2009 year. What you are about to read may be shocking, profane, funny, and probably down right false. Then again, I was correct on many of my 50 predictions from last year. A far better average than those wannabee so-called psychics claiming to be clairvoyant hustling you out of your money. Let’s see how good I do for 2009.

50 Bold Predictions For 2009

1) Charles Manson, mass murderer, dies in jail.

2) Brett Favre will fake retirement yet again, but come back to play just one more year. BINGO! So far, Brett stated once again that he has retired for good this time. The second part will come true shortly. And it has. Favre has stated that he wants to play for the Vikings if his arm is healed 100%

3) The Boston Celtics repeat as NBA champions. Boing! Celtics did not repeat.

4) Dick Clark, legendary teenager from American Bandstand and icon for the New Years Day celebration on Times Square, dies.

5) Lindsay Lohan breaks up with DJ Sam Ronson. As Kathy Griffin put it to Anderson Cooper on New year’s eve, she likes Dick. BINGO! TMZ REPORTS TODAY THAT LINDSAY AND SAM ARE SPLITSVILLE. 01/05/2009

6) Pam Anderson will be attacked by an anti PETA group and will have cows blood and raw hamburger meat splashed all over her body. She’ll ask for it to be cooked medium rare.

7) Scarlett Johansson, in an attempt to create a buzz for her slumping celebrity, exposes her boobs on a national televised awards show. Justin Timberlake is somehow involved.

8 ) Michael Jackson, legendary music entertainer, dies from unknown causes. A conspiracy just like Elvis, the king of rock and roll, will ensue. Sadly, success: Michael Jackson died on June 25th from an apparent drug overdose.

9) President Barack Obama will survive an assassination attempt.

10) The youngest Jonas brother (Nick) admits to having sexual relations. You can toss those purity rings out now.

11) Jerry Seinfeld makes a comeback and locks in a sitcom variety show on NBC. BINGO!!! Jerry Seinfeld is creating and executive producing a reality show tentatively titled The Marriage Ref for NBC, the network has announced.

12) Hillary Clinton, not Bill, gets caught cheating. And she will be wearing a blue dress. How ironic.

13) Country music phenom Taylor Swift winds up pregnant. And no, not by any of the Jonas brothers.

15) A major cast member from the hit television series LOST will be arrested for DUI.

16) A new Stealth jet fighter will be revealed during military maneuvers.It will have light refracting abilities making it invisible to the naked eye.

17) A Youtube Satanic cult will be found. A series of innocent Youtube video’s when strung together, spell out Satan is Lord and master.

18 ) The MLB New York Yankees return to glory and win the World Series. Bingo! The Yankees defeated the Phillies to capture their 27th World series Banner.

19) The New York Giants and the Indianapolis Colts make the super bowl pitting brothers Peyton and Eli against each other. It will be the highest rated super bowl ever. BOING! MISSED THIS ONE. THE COLTS GOT SMACKED BY THE BOLTS IN THE WILDCARD. 01/04/2009

21) An F5 category tornado rips through the Midwest leveling a town left in its wake.

22) The Panama Canal comes under attack and is closed to all traffic.

23) Farrah Fawcett succumbs to her cancer, but not without a tremendous fight. Sadly, Farrah passed away June 25th, 2009.

24) Bill Cowher, former Pittsburgh Steeler head coach, will reject multiple offers from NFL teams hoping to lure him back to the sidelines.BINGO!!! More than half a dozen teams attempted to lure Cowher back to the sidelines. So far, he has said no.

25) Terrell Owens, disenchanted with the Cowboys, causes yet another commotion and gets released opening his door to the Patriots.BINGO! COWBOYS RELEASE OWENS TODAY. 03/05/2009

26) Britney Spears has yet another meltdown. She will be involved in a lesbian affair.

27) The NFL Buffalo Bills, claiming lack of fan support, make plans to move to Canada.

29) Christina Aguilera is with child once again. Can her boobs get any bigger than they already are?

30) Paula Abdul gets fired from American Idol after acting erratically during the live broadcasts. Simon couldn’t be happier. Ratings go through the roof.BINGO!!! Paula announced this morning that she will no longer be on American Idol. 08/05/2009

31) A major ocean liner will be lost in the Bermuda triangle rekindling the wild rumors and legends of the fabled Devil’s Triangle.

32) Ameila Earhart’s remains will be found. A note written by Earhart will reveal what really happened to her finally putting to rest her mysterious disappearance.

40) Elton John records a new album. Clay Aiken sings a duet with Elton.

41) Paris Hilton gets a little to much exposure in 2009. she is filmed nude on the beach and the film makes the rounds on the Internet.

42) Justin Timberlake accepts a deal from Saturday Night Live to host the show a half a dozen times for the 2009-10 season. Steve Martin gets pissed.

43) Justin Timberlake and Jessica Beil break up. Apparently she was tired of getting the same dick in the box present for birthdays and Christmas.

44) The Natalee Holloway murder case will be solved.

45) Tom Cruise finally gets the ride on the spaceship he has been waiting for.

46) Spencer and Heidi get married. For real this time. No one cares. BINGO! Spencer and Heidi announce their wedding date for this Saturday, April 25th. Not even Heidi’e best friend and co-star Lauren Conrad are going to the event.

47) Ozzy Osbourne wins a national debate. No one could refute what he said because no one knew what the hell he said.

48 ) Gene Simmons gets married to long time lover Shannon Tweed.

49) Boxer Mike Tyson makes a comeback. He eats three contenders before the Las Vegas boxing commission halts the comeback.

50) Paul McCartney, a former Beatle, admits that the Beatles pulled an elaborate hoax on the public with clues on their albums suggesting that Paul was killed and the surviving band members hired a look a like to carry on.

There you have it folks. 50 shocking psychic predictions for 2009 from the Grassy Knoll Institute. Check back to see my updates throughout the year as my predictions come to fruition. Or heavens forbid, turn out to be wrong.

Conspiracy, HAARP, Earthquakes, Volcano's, Weather Modification, H1N1, Swine Flu, NWO, Politics, and other hedonistic topical articles from The CEO & Czar of The Committee In My Head. Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.