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Because this thread is and will be filled with heat, for those who don't enjoy reading the drama, the rage, the rants, the praises, the flamebaits, the shameless bumps and inane posts to avoid causing butthurt on people with shitty Internets and everything else Codexia can be expected to comment between each update, here are them:

===========================v1.337=============================
= 1eyedking's Fantastic ALPHA POPA- PROTOCOLS Strategy Guide =
===========================v1.337=============================
"Trustus Obsidianus"
IN OBISIDIAN
WE TRUST
==============================================================
Release Date: 14/06/2010
Version: Last.
Contents:
[001] 1. Introduction
[002] 2. Strategy: How to pop moles like a bro
[003] 3. Walkthrough
[004] 4. Credits & thanks
[005] 5. Legal stuff
Note: Use your search function in your browser/notepad to eas-
ily find the chapters in this guide without the need for endl-
ess scrolling.
==============================================================
[001] 1. Introduction
Welcome to my first guide! English is my first language so ex-
pect a lot of "could of been", "it's bether then this", "its
great!". If you have zero tolerance for that kind of ortograp-
hy, I urge you to stop reading and go to some of the other gu-
ides.
So, without further ado, the guide!
==============================================================
[002] 2. Strategy: How to pop moles like a bro
Pick Recruit. Pick all recruit lines to cancel 1/3 of the "pe-
nalties" of that clas- background: you'll get 10 AP points for
free! If you pick any other flavor, even better so you'll have
plus 20 AP for further mole-popping goodness. You won't be ab-
le to unlock Veteran, however: thats not very broish of you.
* Spend your points as following:
Pistols [15]
Tech Aptitude [15]
Toughness [15]
Sabotage [2] (only if you're new into the whole poppin' busin-
ess)
The rest wherever you want, it doesn't matter. Remember to pi-
ck Operative as you specialize and pick those three skills.
* Strategy:
Chain Shot > Brilliance > Chain Shot
When waiting for the appropiate cooldowns, hide behind cover
and either wait for cooldowns to end or pop the moles from co-
ver with your pistol without exposing yourself: you can still
aim while invulnerable in cover if you move the center of the
screen towards an enemy. The crosshair will pop up and all you
need to do is fire since Michael Thorton has an overdeveloped
sense of popamoling (probably the drugs that they put in you
during the beginning of the game).
==============================================================
[003] 3. Walkthrough
Follow these steps to complete the game:
1. Follow compass.
2. Kill everyone in your path as you go.
3. Tap Use key furiously when near objective.
If a dialogue screen pops up, don't worry: pick any option or
alternatively tap all keys furiously and you're good to go.
==============================================================
[004] 4. Credits & thanks
Me for writing it.
Obsidian for making my work on a guide easier.
You for reading it.
==============================================================
[005] 5. Legal stuff
(C) Copyright 2010 1eyedking Enterprises, RPG Kodex
Sega, Obsidian & Alpha Protocol are trademarks of their respe-
ctive corporation/studio.
All rights reserved.

Click to expand...

So here it is. I'll tell the truth. I think this will be a mediocre experience, but unless it equates the shittiness of an Oblivion, I might finish this crap before posting a last update raging and proving that my bros skyway and 1eyedking were completely right and that this legion of fanboys of Obsidian should GTFO of Codex and gb2gamefags and Obsidian Official forums.

The moment of truth approaches, another flip-flop by faggots who are continually lowering their standards and letting hype cloud their judgments or a so-so game that isn't that crap compared to what else has been released in 2010 but still sucks when analysed by a critical eye? Banal, Shit, Boring or something that could still be fun despite the popamole? This Let's Play might either answer any doubts or generate even more drama and rage about this game.

I'll post my experiences together with it, so in a way it will be a Let's Play/Review hybrid, but I won't give a rating once and if I bother finishing this game.

To prove this is real. It starts right now, although I won't go through the gameplay for now, just post the intro of this and comment on it.

--------------

So first thing I ever do regarding any game is go to the settings and tweak some things

The great thing about 360 ports isn't doing Let's Play threads, it's showing everyone online that I did.

At least it can be turned off.

This is a screenshot based LP so subtitles are needed. With all settings easy, we go for the game itself.

I'm reading "Automatic Win", "Even my dog can beat it" and "Easy". Of course, for the sake of delivering a better thread, we'll go with "Easy" instead of the two other options.

Either this game has preset skill point distributions or Recruits start without skills to invest, I can't bother checking. But lets see the gameplay right? It has no character creation so far, so we can erase that already. Maybe there is some character development, we shall see.

Cutscene time

Looks like Modern Gayfare all again. Except there are no MIRVs this time.

[Perception][Intelligence]A missile and a civilian airplane shown in the same cutscene mean that they will probably meet each other.

[Intelligence]The Player Character could be inside that airplane

I've seen someone like this guy before... wait

He mentions Alpha Protocol to someone who may be the PC and no further explanations are given. Plot hook, cheap, but works. Will the game suck so much that I'll just search for a spoiler-ridden thread to check its ending and its plot instead of playing it? I don't know yet. According to skyway, racofer, 1eyedking, VentilatorofDoom and others it will, according to Obsidian fanboys, it won't.

Then

[Perception]This sounds familiar

Someone calls you from the PDA. Welcome tutorial mission.

I took to long to go through the only way that should always work and lost the chance to post the first EXTREME SHEPARD in this thread.

:codexrage:

I was expecting worse from this dialogue timer, tbh, but it still sucks. Lets see how it will handle more complex NPC conversations(if there are any because I'm doubtful).

Then just random blah. That chick is called Mina and wants to help Shepard, or whatever he is called, to get the hell out of there because of something related to forced conditioning and brainwashing that will be made against his will.

[Intelligence]He could only be in one place in the world where this sort of thing happens oftenly.

Thus options appear on how to deal with the guard. Of course, Ambush sounds like the most EXTREME option so I picked it.

Veredict of this update: The first impressions aren't very positive, and like in Dreamfail, the barely explained plot can go into total shit yet but it can yet deliver. The basic premise is quite cliché but can be redeemed with a good plot development yet. No idea on what to expect regarding gameplay. No character creation spotted. Dialogue minigame is annoying but isn't the worst thing ever since Oblivion Horse Armor DLC.

"No leftist worldview has ever survived contact with 9 inches of congoid underwear sausage and none ever shall. The ultimate rebuttal of all leftist ideals is the moment of truth when the underpants hang around the ankles and the congoid enrichment army lines up seventy men deep for the ultimate political rebuttal." - Cleveland Mark Blakemore

Looking good there, bro. Hope you elicit some tears and rage but this is at risk of totally derailing into another GRPG Brotocol Royal Rumble within 50 posts. The plot is going to be pretty much cliche all the way to the end, though.

The recruit option makes you start without skill points. The other "classes" give you a few skill points to spend, which are pre-allocated depending on the "class" you pick, but can be redistributed. Apparently constantly picking the "recruit" dialouge option in the beginning gives you something like ten more AP to spend.

Other starts give 30 AP worth to spend, but playing Recruit unlocks Veteran which starts out with rank 3 in all skills, or 120 AP. So I'm guessing 90% of people play through on Recruit because lolmetagaming.

That's one part of the game that was extremely rushed without a doubt. Strange from a design perspective - usually it's the late parts of the game that are rushed, with the beginning receiving the most polish. Perhaps the reports of the game plot being practically rewritten from scratch late in development are true.

For real, because I never played one of those "OTS camera with cover system action games" before and I think it'll be banal, shit boring and suck, so lets see it.

Racofer said:

OBSIDIAN SUCKS AT CAMERAS

Click to expand...

Strafing, as a instant reaction because of having played so many classical FPSes where circle-strafing, strafing from one cover to another in the map and always being on the move coupled with a good aim were the secrets to not lose in the game. The shock would be really great. Regardless, the combat is quite easy, by punching and strafing away from the foe.

Surprise buttsex.

Presented with the choices between opening the door and breaking it with a kick, we do it the most EXTREME way. Now I see what Vault Dweller was talking about, not even 1 minute of gameplay and the game already presents us with a choice! I am very eager to see how far these choices can go and their consequences of the fact that the door remained intact instead of breaking so we can LARP about that later.

There are dozens of doors that are inacessible. Just from knowing the wasted potential in making a level design that so far seems as linear as in a 2d platformer without z-axis exploration...

But it will change and things will become better later on, or is skyway totally right about this game? Ahem, IMO these faggots who insult skyway are probably totally wrong and thinking everything is banal, shit, boring without playing it because you witnessed the popamole from a gameplay video is the way to go. But for now I'll give them the benefit of doubt.

Behold the full glory of Sub-Radiant AI against stealth!

Whoever posted that this game's stealth is equal to Thief III's deserves to be shot.

It's not like finding ammo is pixel hunting to require that.

I know Bloodlines had it but at least it depended upon a skill.

The enemies are so easy to kill(or knock down unconscious to be more specific in here) that only retards with 360 controllers need to use the cover system to avoid rape in this part. As a FPS veteran I found this trivial, typical Modern Gayfare stuff, except Modern Gayfare is not as easy as this game so far.

Achievement Unlocked: First Enemy shot down without using Popamole Cover System

Still, the controls are clunky, and even at point-blank shooting, you can still miss even if you aim right against the enemy(Of course, don't be a fag and complain that I didn't take the screenshot right when the crosshair reached the foe, I'm not pausing the game to take screens)

Thus, despite aiming correctly at point blank shot

:codexrage:

Also they were too lazy to implement a save anywhere feature. Even Oblivion with guns had it, FFS! But again, I bet the game would be way too easy if it was possible to save anywhere.

Usually the enemies barely manage to fire at all before being taken down, thus so far the cover thing didn't really prevail. So far I didn't stay several seconds at the same place popping moles. Most of the takedowns have been by the best possible way:

Fallout Shelter. Moar liek "Have you seen my father, he looks like a middle-aged guy" amirite?

So these are the so complicated cameras. Thief III is really not that different from this game regarding stealth.

Kicking doors and asses through the totally linear journey, we reach the bottom floor.

Trivial. It is easy to get killed too, but the enemies have been so easy to kill so far that such detail is sort of pointless.

Another annoying minigayme.

Choices and Consequences.

At least this game lacks one retarded feature that most retarded popamole shooters have: Health Regen.

Haha

Cutscene time! A truck arrives full of hostiles and the game advises for use of the laughable auto-invisibilty stealth mode.

Consoletard beacon skill gained!

Of course, I will never use it during the entirety of this LP

Screw stealth, I'll shoot everything...

There is nothing redeemable or fun about combat so far which is worse than COD4, therefore forget that.

Sneaking through the place, safely away from there.

Again, pretty easy.

Do you like crosswords?

Sneaking through the dumb cameras, we get the Alpha Brotocol Dossier and some serious cash.

Then suddenly.

They mention that they used him as a bait to be captured in this place so he could provide intelligence data for them, or something because I didn't bother paying attention to the conversation.

Being defiant is more EXTREME, so be it. Screw the bonus points for picking RECRUIT choices because that is for faggots and retards who fail so much that they'd have difficulty beating this game.

Another somewhat familiar face. Ominous. And of course. EXTREME SHEPARD has no patience, only collar grabs ready.

Of course. The best choice.

[Sarcastic][Intelligence][Perception]

Thus, finally, first level up

Because stealth is so fucking stupid anyway and more of a LARP, we'll go full popamoling to finish this game faster, if I ever bother going to the end here.

NOTICE: I'll be using a variant of the CAD Rule for all dialogues in this game.

And thus this update ends.

Veredict of this update: The combat system is mediocre, but at least there is no insta-regeneration and so far no glaring examples of respawning enemies + checkpoints that made Modern Gayfare so fail. Game is quite easy, cover system is optional for someone who has enough twitch skills in less critical situations. Obsidian sucks at level design and the minigames are stupid. There are no evidences of existing any choices with consequences, but I'll never really know because all I experienced so far motivates me to never play this game again if I bother finishing it at all. I really don't understand the praises given to it. On the overall it is like eating a hot pocket. It is cheap, but still not complete shit.

tl;dr does this game suck?

A:

Could it still be fun despite that?

A:

Maybe you'll think of me when you are all alone
Maybe the one who is waiting for you
Will prove untrue, then what will you do?

Maybe you'll sit and sigh, wishing that I were near
Then maybe you'll ask me to come back again
And maybe I'll say "Maybe"

"No leftist worldview has ever survived contact with 9 inches of congoid underwear sausage and none ever shall. The ultimate rebuttal of all leftist ideals is the moment of truth when the underpants hang around the ankles and the congoid enrichment army lines up seventy men deep for the ultimate political rebuttal." - Cleveland Mark Blakemore