Contents

Synopsis

A secret agent must stop a mad scientist who is auctioning off a nuclear bomb.

Plot

Leo Redlodge is a CIA agent. He is walking to "the office," actually a top secret bunker underneath the U.S. Capitol. He meets Donald Trump there for a mission briefing. He then realizes Trump is a walking bomb and tries to get out. Trump, who is drugged tries to stop him but Redlodge escapes with half a second to spare.

(Cue theme music)

Redlodge is facing a hearing on the death of the president. He is then commissioned into leading an investigation of it. He and his on/off girlfriend and police detective, Kate figure out he was drugged and had a bomb surgically implanted in his rib bone and was drugged so he no only wouldn't notice but that he'd position himself so that Redlodge would either die in the explosion or be charged with assassination. He then hears of a small robbery at a computer store. He sees a familiar face on the tv screen he then decides to check it out on instinct. He and his partner "Hobbes" head there in their tricked out tour buses "Astor" and "Martin". They find out nothing important was stolen "Hobbes" says its just some "normal" robbery but Redlodge wonders why the twice as valuable gigaplex computer wasn't stolen instead of a piece of "unimportant" hardware. He is then almost stabbed in the back by a young man who owns the place. He shoots the man in the hand with his laser beam glasses, and finds out he has the same name as him.

Suddenly the "intern", Bushy, runs out in a flash. Figuring that he's up to no good, Redlodge grabs something out from under his tour bus that folds out into a motorcycle. He then chases after Bushy who is also using a motorcycle. The chase is long, but Bushy is just about to head into a garage that will buy him time until he nearly runs into "Astor" which Redlodge has been remote controlling the whole chase. Bushy is then arrested.

Bushy is then interrogated but says nothing save for, "The doctor will have your hides for this". The scene shifts to Redlodge drinking at a bar, he then gets a notification from his mysterious mission briefer, B. He then goes to the restroom which has a secret entrance to an agent base. He is then briefed by B that Terrorist are planning on stealing a nuclear missile from North Korea and that he has to steal it before they do. He then gets his gadgets from Grease Monkey. Redlodge tries to steal the missile, but is captured by his old nemesis General Hammer.

It turns out the terrorists who planned on stealing the nuke were in league with the North Koreans, (General Hammer specifically) and that the missile theft in North Korea was planned by the both of them. In reality, it was supposed to be a distraction, as the real missile theft was in the U.S. all along. Redlodge is then tortured (forced to wear a suit that electrocutes however wears it) by General Hammer for nothing other than the pure evil of it. When Hammer goes to take a donut break, Redlodge decides to use a meditation technique to heal himself. When he is done, Hammer still isn't back yet and better yet, his electrosuit has been removed.

Redlodge flees and contacts "Hobbes" who tells him that he has been disavowed but that he should survive if he doesn't lose his glasses. Redlodge then realizes he has lost his glasses. Just when he thinks things can't get any worse, he gets grabbed by a woman. She reveals herself to be Hammer's granddaughter who wants to prove herself to him by killing Redlodge (which is why she released him from the electrosuit.) He convinces her not to (it involves kissing) and the two steal a plane and fly to America.

Redlodge is informed of the fact that terrorists are auctioning the nuke off to other terrorists and unsavory nations. He and his friend Hunter decide to follow Bushy who has been released for lack of evidence. This leads them to a gangster hideout where a representative an organization called the Black Hand named Creepy Guy on the Street lives. After killing all the gangsters at the hideout Redlodge disguises himself as Creepy Guy on the Street. He then goes to the auction.

The auction is on a yacht in the middile of the Pacific, the bidders are from Russia, North Korea, China, Isis, The Black Hand, The Apparatus, The Mafia, The Yakuza, The Maggia, Quantum, SPECTRE, and more. The bidding goes on for a while until suddenly everyone in their chairs except for Redlodge is electrocuted. General Hammer, who is conducting the bidding tells Redlodge "Let's Skip This Place and Meet the Doctor!". They then feed all the other bidders to the pet sharks in the swimming pool and go below deck. There Redlodge sees that Hammer has captured his granddaughter. Hammer says the doctor will deal with her. Redlodge then knocks Hammer out and covers him with alchohol. He then frees Kalyn and they plan to go to the Doctor's island hideout in Jamaica and grab the nuke there. Redlodge is already disguise, Kalyn is Hammer's granddaughter which should gain her access, and Hammer seems to be unconscious after drinking.

They go to meet the doctor, a man named Heinrich Heimlich he greets them and then Redlodge shoots him in the head. The guards don't attack since Creepy Guy on the Street (who Redlodge is impersonating) was the superior of the doctor's. Suddenly Bushy arrives saying that Redlodge is an imposter and then he and Kalyn are captured.

Then Bushy captures them again. He then reveals himself to be "The Doctor" and unmasks himself to reveal his true identity, Doctor No! He then says that Redlodge has brains and nerve and offers him $100,000,000 to join his organization, the Black Hand. Redlodge refuses of course, No then puts him and Kalyn in a sauna room that slowly dehydrates whoever is in it. Redlodge then takes a flash-freeze pellet from his glasses temple tip. He freezes up all the heating pores in the room and the two escape.

He then knocks out a guard and finds out that No is going to fire the missile at Washington DC. He dresses as the guard and locks the missile in place. He then ambushes No nearby some boiling water. The two fight and No appears to die inside the boiling water. General Hammer appears and the two fight, but just as Redlodge gets the upper hand, No emerges from the tank and knocks him out. No and Hammer realize the place is going to blow and leave with a bunch of henchmen in their large jet. Redlodge and Kalyn jump on it as it takes off, and No exits the plane to kill them. Redlodge and him struggle but he is knocked down and gets caught in jet intake. Once again, his robotic hands prove to be his weakness as he can't grab a thing with them to stop himself. Hammer and a bunch of henchmen come out, but Redlodge shoots them. Hammer then knocks out Kalyn and puts her in the plane. Leo then shoots the pilot causing the plane to barrel roll. Hammer falls off but Redlodge stays on thanks to magnets in his shoes. He then heads inside the plane and takes put it on autopilot.

The world is safe, and another mission of his is successful, he and Kalyn then decide to vacation in Hawaii.

End Credits

The End

A Where is the Knife Film copyright 2018.

Quotes

“

You're going to die, in five minutes and there's nothing you or I can do about it.I'm the only one in the room, so I'm going to be blamed. ......I'm getting out while I can.

Deleted scenes

Bushy then sends them out into the jungle to entertain his minions by pitting them against a dragon tank. Redlodge and Kalyn then build their own tank out of wood and wreckage on the islands. This defeats the Dragon Tank.

Notes

This is actually based off a series i thought up but with major changes.

This is the first in a major series that chronicles the adventure, decline, fall, and death of Leo Redlodge.

This movie and its sequels will not be considered canonical by the people who make Bond Films.