Sections

10 reasons why every mom needs friends without kids

You probably have some friends without children who will high-tail it when you meet up with them at the pub covered in regurgitated breast milk. But you will also have kid-free friends who would gladly give you the clean shirt off their back while disposing of yours in a dumpster.Photo: pololia/Fotolia

Lindsey Ward

Published: March 19, 2015 - 9:30 AM

Updated: March 19, 2015 - 10:03 AM

When I gave birth to my first son L, I immediately went from being Lindsey to being “L’s mom.”

Identity. Gone. Forever!

It’s pretty easy to dedicate yourself to a newborn and forget entirely who you were or what you did before that. In fact, it’s darn well impossible, especially with your first child, when the shock trifecta of postpartum pain, sleep deprivation and utter confusion hits you like a wall of Manitoba mosquitoes.

But — to quote the best ’90s R&B trio ever — what about your friends? Will they let you down? Will they ever be around or will they turn their backs on you?

Fortunately you will likely score some amazing mom friends out of the deal. They will teach you the best techniques for emitting farts from your gassy newborn, down wine with you on rare nights out, and understand your parenting ups and downs because they, too, are living them.

Not going to lie: You probably have some friends without children who will high-tail it when you meet up with them at the pub covered in regurgitated breast milk. But you will also have kid-free friends who would gladly give you the clean shirt off their back while disposing of yours in a dumpster. And that is just one of many reasons why you need them around …

1. They’re sympathetic to your struggles.
They may not want to hear about car seat sales or your mundane mom talk, but they can relate to how ridiculously intense your days can get because they have their own stressors — be it a 70-hour work week, an ill family member, relationship drama, etc.

2. They are accommodating.
Even if you can only squeeze them in for a quick visit in your puke-stained living room while your overtired toddler stumbles around and whines for snacks, they will probably still want to hang out. I think.

3. They are fun.
Let’s be real: You’ve been a lot less fun since you had kids. That doesn’t mean you don’t still have it in you — but inevitably your adorable little tots have sucked some of the life out of your former fun self. It’s OK; it’s still there, and who better to help you refuel than your pals who’ve still got it?

4. They love you for you — not your motherly abilities.
Your friends without kids won’t judge if you let your kids live off chocolate pudding and Disney Junior for a week. They were friends with you before you made the transition into parenthood, and aren’t about to criticize your decisions — just as you don’t criticize theirs.

Nothing like a baby to come between friends. The good ones will stick around, though. [Halfpoint/Fotolia]

5. They aren’t out to beat you.
For every fabulous mom friend out there, there are about five mom-petitors. I highly doubt your friends without kids are going to ask you how your daughter did on her report card just so she can brag about her own daughter’s straight A’s. Also: Who cares?

6. They make great babysitters.
Just don’t expect them to babysit simply because they don’t have kids of their own, and clearly must have plenty of time to watch yours. That’s a no-no.

7. They keep you well-rounded.
A night of dinner and drinks with your friends who don’t have kids means an entire night of … real adult conversation! I recently spent three hours catching up with some child-free pals, and I left the table feeling invigorated from our current affair talks because I realized there are still things in the world I care about outside of my home. Which brings me to …

A night of dinner and drinks with your friends who don’t have kids means an entire night of … real adult conversation! [clownbusiness/Fotolia]

8. They keep you in tune with the outside world.
If it weren’t for friends without kids, you’d probably have no idea what new restaurants had opened, when to register for soccer (yourself … not your kids), and when tickets for the Black Keys are going on sale. And that would really suck.

9. You will eventually have more time for them again.
Don’t ask me when, but eventually there will come a time in your life as a parent where you can find more time to spend with your friends that don’t have kids who can occupy yours while you all attempt to half-listen to each other over tepid beer. Hopefully by then, they won’t have forgotten about you. #truefriendswouldnt

10. They need you too.
You often hear about new parents cutting off their child-less friends, and vice versa, because they don’t think they have anything in common anymore. That’s unfortunate. I can think of at least nine reasons why that divide doesn’t need to happen from a parent’s perspective. In turn, our friends without kids also gain a more well-rounded perspective thanks to us — all while getting to know some pretty awesome little ones. Win-win all around.