Monday, October 19, 2015

65 Days 'til Christmas

I don't mean to brag.......oh, how I don't mean to brag, but, as of this past weekend, I am totally done with my Christmas shopping.

Yeah, you heard me.

Bought. Wrapped. Tagged. Hidden.

Bam.

Even have a couple of those extra gifts that we all keep in case someone unexpectedly shows up at the door with a gift for us.

Listen. November and December are just plain busy for me, y'all, so I try to always get it done early, but I have to say that this is early even for me.

We've all got our own lists to deal with each Christmas. The complicated names. The easy breezy names. The one who's fun to shop for. Even the names we draw, which cause us to clutch our chests, tear at our clothes, and cry out, "Why me, Lord?"

So, to commemorate the upcoming gift buying season, today, we'll discuss the 7 types of people that we all have on our lists.

1) The "I have one of everything" person......We all have one of these on our list. They have everything. They have 20 designer purses, 15 bottles of perfume, a closet full of clothes (many with tags still attached), the latest accessories, drawers and drawers of jewelry, an immaculate home with no empty spots, 32 sets of dishes, every book ever written, all the latest technological gadgets, complete sets of everything that can possibly be collected, and a partridge in a pear tree. Shopping for this person requires a lot of imagination and usually calls for some type of special order, customized deal. This person should be taken care of early on to allow extra time for production. We feel extremely accomplished when we can check theses names off of our list.

2) The "I don't need anything" person. This person is content with what they have. They have very basic needs, very few wants, and are usually big fans of the practical gift......I mean, if you insist on buying them something. They get pleasure out of receiving gifts, which they would have to buy for themselves anyway......like socks, undergarments, irons, or vacuum cleaners. While not the most exciting people on our lists, we can all appreciate the ease with which these gifts are purchased.

3) The "I check labels" person. This person is usually a brand snob. No St. John's Bay for them. Pardon the pun, but "No siree Bob's" either....they only wear Tom's. They want the cashmere. The designer names. The highest end of any line. No knockoff or spinoff or any other kind of off will do for this one. It is also best to never reveal to this person when you've purchased their hoity toity brands at an outlet or discount store either. This only serves to cheapen the label in their mind and unnecessarily so.

4) The "You better keep the receipt" person. We all have those for whom we are careful to hang onto the gift receipts, because 9 times out of 10 there will be something not quite right with it. Not my color. Too small. Too big. Too thick. Too thin. Too long. Too short. Too scratchy. Too busy. Too plain. You all know who this person is on your list and it is wise to stash the proof of purchase away in a drawer until you're given clearance to dispose of it.

5) The "I can't think of anything you enjoy doing" person. This person has no interests, hobbies and/or pastimes from which you might glean any gift ideas. No, they don't fish, hunt, cook, watch sports, read, exercise, play games, golf, watch birds, listen to music, sew, or collect anything. Nope. Nothing. As a matter of fact, now that you think about it, you're not real sure what they do all day besides exchange oxygen. Perhaps, a bottle of that would be in order. Good luck finding something that this one is going to enjoy.

6) The "Get a pencil and I will tell you exactly what I want" person. This person is very, very specific with their gift "suggestions". They will tell you the item#, the color code, the size, its location in the store and/or the web address. While there is little surprise involved with this type of gift exchange, the ease and convenience of it cannot be overemphasized.

7) The "Don't spend your money on me" person. This person is so very considerate of others and the thought of anyone spending their hard earned money on them is almost more than they can bear. To combat this, they think of ridiculously cheap items to throw out there when asked for gift suggestions. This person always claims to really be wanting some room spray, car wax, a flashlight key ring, or other forms of cheap ridiculousness.

And for every person being shopped for this holiday season, there will be, well, a shopper. I think that we, shoppers, too, fall into 7 different categories......

1) The "I don't think they'll recognize this" shopper aka the regifter. This shopper believes in passing along gifts that didn't suit them. "Shopping" in the comfort of their own home and wrapping items around the house really cut down on cost, hassle, and time. We've all received that armchair remote organizer with questionable packaging. "As long as it's never been used or lightly used, what's the harm?" That's what this "shopper" wants to know.

2) The "I hate crowds and am getting grumpy" shopper. This person is usually not a very well-seasoned shopper. This group is largely made of up males who aren't savvy in navigating the retail scene as they spend very little time in that environment. They walk through the mall and have no idea where they're going or what they're doing. All they know for sure is that they feel overwhelmed in the sea of people and, as a result, begin to become irritated with a Grinch-like heart--two sizes too small.

3) The "I just get everybody the same thing" shopper. "This year, hams and turkeys for everyone on my list!" This shopper likes to keep his shopping simple. They don't like to complicate things. Instead, they just find a good, across the board gift and go with it. This makes shopping simple and less time consuming. Added bonus.....only one size bag or box is needed for wrapping and no tags required.

4) The "I get it all done on Black Friday" shopper. Oh, the bravery it takes to belong in this category. They can be seen at the Thanksgiving table after the dishes are cleared with sale papers all spread out. Charting their course. Planning their strategy. Circling their priorities. They may excuse themselves early from Thanksgiving festivities to get out and get their shopping done at any cost. Life and limb will be risked and, while some question the sanity of this type shopper, their courage cannot be overlooked.

5) The "Y'all get what you want" shopper. This shopper believes that there is nothing they could give that would make anyone happier than cash or gift cards. This shopper is done with one quick trip through the bank drive-thru window, a few activation swipes, and a box of envelopes. Lick, lick, lick. Done.

6) The "Let me look around some more, sleep on this, mull it over, and pray about it" shopper. This shopper is quite thoughtful about his or her gifts. She considers her gifts to be a reflection of herself and wants every single one to be a touching, memorable, and even tear jerking token..... a warm and love-filled experience for the receiver. Something that will be cherished for a lifetime.....possibly even buried with the recipient because of its deep, soul touching significance. While this shopper is endearing to those on her list, there is much accompanying pressure upon her shoulders to perform. She may silently experience the most stress that the holidays can offer.

7) The "I got free shipping" shopper. This shopper's tackles her Christmas shopping by simply clicking "Add to Cart". She can run a load of laundry, watch the news, pet the dog, and shop for Grandma all at the same time. A hefty Visa bill and first name basis with the UPS driver signal that this shopper is well on her way to the finish line.

So, here's to a smooth and painless shopping season for everyone.....no matter who you're buying for or what plan of attack you prefer this Christmas season.

And, while we're all out shopping and buying things for each other that we don't really need, I'd like for you to consider one of my favorite Christian Christmas charities, Operation Christmas Child. Our family looks forward to packing shoe boxes each Christmas for a child overseas who will only receive whatever we put inside those little boxes......and nothing else. We can't even grasp that kind of need in all of our layers of excess.....here where we're mostly buying things just to be buying them. It's a good feeling to know your boxes will be received with so much genuine excitement and simple joy.

You can find out more about how you can participate in spreading the message of Jesus' love and making a child's Christmas better by clicking here.

1 comment:

Our gift giving now consists of a homemade item ( something the receiver enjoys ), maybe a gift card too. I think I experienced all the above, well written Joni. I'm happy you're crossed everything off your list, seeing that your job will be a busy one during the holiday season. Giving to the ones that need the most like food banks, Christmas angels, animal charities, what touches your heart. Kathleen in Az