The Poor, Misunderstood Wendy's Frosty

What, exactly, is a Wendy’s Frosty? Is it a beverage? Is it a milkshake? Is it soft-serve ice cream? Is it simply a vehicle for delivering diamonds to one’s digestive tract? More to the point, is it a beverage or a dessert? Reader Carl doesn’t know. Neither does his local Wendy’s.

Wendy’s has a new campaign for a coffee-toffee twisted Frosty. Chocolate + coffee + toffee is the most synergistic combination of flavours known to man. For those who say food is no substitute for medicine, this concoction can cure cancer and foul moods. Needless to say, I made a beeline for Wendy’s to sample such a divine cup of love at the first excuse I could find to leave the house. And I was not disappointed. I enjoyed it so much that I saved the lower half for the freezer.

By a bizarre serendipity, an advert from Wendy’s appeared on our doors in the neighborhood today. Sadly no free Frosty coupon, but something better. Free breakfast sandwiches with any drink purchase. Granted I am not big on breakfast, it was just another excuse to procure a Frosty. My intention was to secure my treat and pass the sandwich to my wife. I ordered my sandwich and Frosty. I was told I couldn’t use the coupon because the Frosty wasn’t a drink.

Clerk: You can’t use this coupon for that.
Me: Why? It is valid for this date, I’ve ordered a drink and the requisite panini.
Clerk: Because you have to purchase a drink with it. What do you want to drink?
Me: I ordered the coffee-toffee-twisted-frosty (this is ridiculous to say, but so worth it) for my drink!
Clerk: But you got to order a drink for the free sandwich.
Me: The Frosty!
Clerk: It’s not a drink. You want a drink or not?
Me: But what is a Frosty then? Is it not served in a cup with a straw, as any other beverage?
Clerk: Well… (holds up hands)
Me: (stares)
Clerk: It isn’t technically a drink.
Me: Well what is it, technically? A dessert?
Clerk: No, because we don’t got dessert. I mean, we got orange cups for the kids meals.
Me: So none of the twisted Frostys are desserts. And they are not beverages. So what would you call them? I would call it an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert, all at once.
Clerk: (starting to look confused, expediter places my sandwich and Frosty on the tray) Do you want me to get my manager?
Me: No, I want you to charge me for a Frosty and honor the coupon.
Clerk: (pushes tray at me, beginning to panic) Uhm, I don’t think I can do that, so I guess I can’t charge you? Have a nice day sir!

And I walk out with a free sandwich and a free Frosty. I still have the coupon, so I might just try that again.

I’m not sure I buy the part where Carl walks out of the restaurant with a free breakfast, but stranger things have happened.