battle with myself...103

by Umeda IslamovaJune 01, 2017

You know... I struggle.

One part of me is this free-spirited kind who wants to do things when she wants to do them. The other part of me is the type-A kind who needs things done and on certain time frame so she can feel like everything is under control. And I truly struggle. I battle with myself on so many things. I lay in bed after maghrib, after the kids have gone to bed. I'm exhausted and all I want is to lay there on my bed and do nothing... (who am I lying? We all know I end up over-scrolling on Instagram.)⠀

But in the back of my head, I keep telling myself,

'Get up. Dishes. Fold the laundry.

Get up. Make time for your husband.

Get up. Clock a few hours in for work.

Get up. Exercise, even for 15 minutes.'

Get up. Shhhh.

Get up. Shhhh.

Yes. No. Yes. No. Often times... oops!

Where did time go?

It's time for Isha. ⠀It's a small matter, but unfortunately these daily, little choices make up who we are and what we achieve in the long run. Procrastination is a real problem. For many of us. And yes, there is a solution. It's Allah. Allah is not this formal spiritual entity that only talks to us about His commands, punishments and other big religious things.

No, Allah is with us every moment, every day. He watches us, listens to us, speaks to us, helps us... and He wants to lead and guide our every-day lives. Looking back at how I spent my time and day when I fill out my TDJ, I realize how bad I am at involving Allah in my daily struggles. I realize how much of my time is mismanaged and wasted.

You see... no 'matter' is too small for Allah. So I remind myself and maybe you too, in allowing Allah to guide us even through the smallest matters in our lives.

May Allah stop us from self-sabotage and from battling ourselves.

May Allah fill us with the energy and everything else we need to just GET THINGS DONE. To be productive... Active... Striving...

May Allah help us lead intentional and thought-out lives.⠀So reflect on how you spend your time. If you struggle with being a productive Muslim, then it's time to call on Allah to get you on track.