On this week's episode, the boys at South Park Elementary are stunned when all of their deepest, darkest, most embarrassing phone calls, emails and more are leaked to a website called "Eavesdroppers." Naturally, Cartman thinks this is the greatest thing in the world, as it allows him to know things like, say, which kid needs his mom to bring new pants and underwear (and socks) to him after he had an "accident" in class.

While Cartman's satisfaction might make him seem like the prime suspect, the real culprit is actually someone whom you'd never expect. Or rather, something you'd never expect.

Plus, Cartman's too busy trying to get everyone in school to simultaneously crap their pants in the B-plot to have perpetrated the crime.