The Daily Mail (I can’t add links on the phone) is reporting that the Peacers who assaulted the mall in Kenya gouged out eyes, lopped off fingers and did other such pleasantries to the non-Presbyterians they had captured to show them the error of their ways.

I was walking back to catch the bus the other day and I happened upon two kids who were chatting whilst walking their young dogs. One was this blonde mongrel of indeterminate origin and the other was this beautiful, joyously happy black (I am talking about dogs here btw) lab puppy who still had the shortish tail composed more of long hairs that came to a point than anything else and possessed of all the exuberance and rollicky nature of their sweet kind. He was constantly on his back or flopping about, gently gnawing and chewing on the blonde in and endless sequence of epic faux fights.

It was incredibly cute and amazingly sad. It made me think of our wonderful dear Claude, still so sweet and loving of spirit but now so slowed by age and various aches and pains. I am not ashamed to say my eyes became somewhat affected.

Well, not too ashamed.

Did perchance the children make me wistfully yearn for my own past youth?

SAN FRANCISCO – Capping the greatest comeback in America’s Cup history, Oracle Team USA trailed at the start but sailed away from Emirates Team New Zealand on Wednesday to retain the Cup in a winner-take-all decider.

A Ryanair flight from Glasgow to Ibiza was forced to make an emergency landing in France after a group of drunk passengers started dancing in the aisles.

The airline confirmed Wednesday that the passengers, described as Scots by local police, had been thrown off the plane at Beauvais airport north of the French capital on Tuesday evening and questioned by authorities.

“They thought they had already arrived in Ibiza,” a police spokesman said, explaining that after buying duty-free alcohol in Glasgow, they drank it on the plane and started dancing, causing such a ruckus that the pilot decided to divert to Beauvais.

It’s just sickening. Horrific tales of murder, mangling and mayhem directed at christians, jews, Hindus, animists; indeed any non-muslims they could find. A Ghanaian poet. A young couple, he a Tasmanian architect and she a malaria expert who was two weeks away from giving birth. No matter. Slaughtered.

Thank goodness for an ex-royal Marine who had his wits…and his gun…about him and was able to get a lot of folks to safety from that gun free zone.

And there are reports that perhaps three of these bastards were US citizens from Minnesota: Somali immigrants thanking us in their special, peaceful way.

Usagi, which oddly enough means “bunny”, is splitting the gap between Taiwan and the Philippines with 165 mph winds. It is headed straight towards Hong Kong but should weaken to a mere 120 mph little fluffy thing by the time it comes ashore. Batten down them thar hatches!

I should also point out for those who have daughters similar in age to mine that “Usagi” is Sailor Moon’s first name so that you can truly appreciate the potential scope of this disaster.

In an appropriate nod to International Talk Like a Pirate Day on Sept. 19, Krispy Kreme is offering free doughnuts in exchange for a few pirate inspired tasks.

No, they aren’t asking you to swab the deck! All you have to do is say a pirate phrase and you are guaranteed one free Original Glazed doughnut. “Ahoy Mateys,” “Arrrrrr” and “Shiver Me Timbers” will all lead you to a little glazed plunder.

But for those of you more dedicated to the day’s theme, dressing like a pirate will score you the ultimate treasure — one free dozen of Original Glazed doughnuts. That’s right! If you wear any combination of at least three of the items listen above, you will qualify for one free dozen of Original Glazed doughnuts at participating locations:

But Krispy Kreme isn’t the only restaurant getting in on the fun. Long John Silver’s is also offering a free piece of Classic Whitefish if you say “ARRRR!” when ordering your meal. And remember, all of these offers are only valid through Sept. 19.

According to our Super Genius President raising the debt ceiling does not raise our debt but rather simply says that you need to pay your bills. He said, and I quote, “it does not somehow promote profligacy.”

Because as history has clearly shown the government, and most especially his government, has never shown the slightest hint of an intention to take rapacious advantage of even the barest smidgen of a penny of the extra spending allowed therein.