Must one lose a job over infidelity?

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Updated 1:38 PM ET, Mon November 19, 2012

Photos: Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus18 photos

Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Former CIA Director David Petraeus resigned this week for what he called personal reasons after revelations that he was having an extramarital affair with his biographer, Paula Broadwell. Before his resignation, he had been a highly regarded public official, serving in the military for 37 years and taking on the roles of Commander of U.S. forces in Afghanistan and NATO International Security Assistance Force.

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Photos: Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus18 photos

Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Petraeus served as commanding general of the 101st Airborne Division U.S. Army between 2002 and 2004 and led troops into battle when the U.S. invaded Iraq in March 2003. Pictured, Petraeus speaks with Paul Bremer, the new U.S. overseer in Iraq, during a helicopter tour of Mosul, Iraq, in May 2003.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – In June 2004 Petraeus, a three-star general at the time, was tasked with overseeing the transition of power from the Coalition military authorities to the Iraqis. Pictured, Petraeus tours Kirkush Military Training Base in June 2004.

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Photos: Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus18 photos

Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Provincial Governor Ghanem al-Basso, left, commemorates the 83rd anniversary of the establishment of the Iraqi army with Petraeus and the graduation of its new 2nd Battalion in Mosul, Iraq.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Lt. Gen. Petraeus, left, listens to President George W. Bush after Bush met with top military officials to discuss the war in Iraq in October 2005.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Gen. David Petraeus was promoted to commander of all U.S. forces in Iraq in February 2007. Pictured, Petraeus awards Purple Hearts to a wounded soldiers at the 28th Combat Support Hospital in March 2007 in Baghdad, Iraq.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Petraeus speaks with store owners in the Ghazaliya neighborhood in Baghdad in August 2007.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Petraeus, third from left, listens as President George W. Bush speaks at Al Asad Air Base in Anbar Province, Iraq, in September 2007. From the right, U.S. Ambassador to Iraq Ryan Croker, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Defense Secretary Robert Gates, who arrived with Bush, look on.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Petraeus acknowledges the fans before throwing out the ceremonial first pitch of the second game of the 2008 MLB World Series between the Philadelphia Phillies and the Tampa Bay Rays in October 2008 in Tampa.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – At the end of October, Petraeus was advanced to Commander of Central Command. Pictured, Petraeus and Afghan Defense Minister Gen. Abdul Rahim Wardak inspect an Afghan Guard of Honor at the Defense Ministry in Kabul on November 5, 2008. Petraeus arrived in Kabul to assess efforts against insurgents in the start of his new job, the U.S. military said.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Petraeus announced October 6 that he was diagnosed in February with early stage prostate cancer and underwent two months of radiation treatment. Pictured, the commander of U.S. Central Command meets young officers in October 2009 at Forward Operating Base Wilson in Kandahar Province, Afghanistan. Petraeus had been touring bases to meet with base commanders.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Petraeus apparently faints while testifying during a hearing before the Senate Armed Services Committee in June 2010 in Washington. Pictured, he is escorted away after the incident.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Petraeus speaks during an Assumption of Command Ceremony at the International Security and Assistance Force Headquarters in July 2010 in Kabul, Afghanistan. Following the dismissal of Gen. Stanley McChrystal, President Barack Obama named Petraeus the commander of the Afghan war and the 140,000 foreign troops serving in Afghanistan.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Britain's Queen Elizabeth meets Petraeus in March 2011. The general was still serving as commander of U.S. and NATO forces in Afghanistan.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – The U.S. Senate unanimously confirmed Petraeus as the next director of the Central Intelligence Agency in June 2011. Pictured from left, Obama announces that he will nominate current CIA Director Leon Panetta as Secretary of Defense, Gen. David Petraeus as the next director of the CIA, Gen. John Allen as commander for U.S. forces in Afghanistan, and Ryan Crocker as the U.S. ambassador to Afghanistan in April 2011.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Petraeus, left, salutes his replacement as leader of the Afghanistan war, Gen. John Allen, right, and Gen. James Mattis during a change of command ceremony in Kabul, July 2011.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Petraeus retired from the military after 37 years of service before taking his new role with the CIA in August 2011. Pictured he speaks at an Armed Forces Farewell Tribute and Retirement Ceremony in his honor at Joint Base Myer-Henderson Hall in Arlington, Virginia.

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Career of former CIA Director David Petraeus – Petraeus takes the oath of office as the next director of the Central Intelligence Agency from Vice President Joe Biden as Petraeus' wife Holly looks on in September 2011 in the Roosevelt Room of the White House.

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Story highlights

Larry Flynt: Why should it surprise anyone that adultery is commonplace?

Should David Petraeus -- or anyone, for that matter -- lose a job because of marital infidelity? Four experts weigh in.

Larry Flynt: Stop being the morality police

It's "Zippergate" all over again. When will Americans realize that an active libido has no effect on how someone runs a government agency? How many leaders in the past -- whether it's in politics, business or other settings -- have done a fine job in spite of having an extramarital affair? We need to cease being the morality police and accept the fact that we're all human beings.

What's more, in the uniform code of military justice, adultery can be deemed a crime. As long as such archaic laws are part of any justice system, it makes it impossible to move out of the dark ages.

We are living in a society where over half of all marriages end in divorce. Why should it surprise anyone that adultery is commonplace? The best thing the arbiters of decency and good taste can do is to stay out of other people's lives. The greatest right that any nation can afford its people is the right to be left alone.

Larry Flynt

Larry Flynt, a prominent advocate of First Amendment rights, is chairman of the Hustler brand, which includes adult magazines, broadcasting, Internet, retail, gaming and entertainment businesses.

Laura Kipnis: Our amnesia about adultery

Should David Petraeus have had to resign over an affair? We've all been reading about legendary CIA director Allen Dulles' multiple flagrant affairs, so if you turn to history for an answer, no. But adultery matters more now than it did in Dulles' day, and there's more of a social need to rake people over the coals for it. Thus we have to keep developing amnesia about how common adultery is, and about the previous 10 adultery scandals, so that we can be outraged all over again. Society needs its scapegoats, and unfortunately Petraeus offered himself up for the role.

Laura Kipnis

This is an incredibly pleasurable scandal. First, it's a classic downfall story, replete with powerful warriors and vengeful females -- there's something satisfying about familiar myths like this playing out in actual life. This scandal also has so much narrative complexity: It's a cautionary tale about unintended consequences and people not foreseeing the effects of their actions (Paula Broadwell's e-mails, Jill Kelley contacting her FBI pal, not to mention the affair itself, though these days that's obviously not so newsworthy on its own).

You can't help wondering what elements of your own life could unravel as quickly following some misguided impulse. At the same time, you get to feel superior about the terrible judgment and irrationality of supposedly rational people. And of course it confirms a lot of stereotypes we're supposed to have put aside, about catfights, spurned destructive women, and the younger woman-aging wife problem, all of which runs counter to the various enlightened and progressive things we're supposed to think and say about gender.

There's been much hypocrisy on this. You have all the news outlets running Broadwell's picture next to Holly Petraeus', more or less saying: Draw your own conclusions. Then a few days later they're all running finger-wagging articles (e.g. Frank Bruni in The New York Times) rebuking the other news outlets for focusing on Broadwell's appearance and "well-toned arms." My own view is that given Broadwell's tendency to showcase her physique in public appearances, it's a legitimate part of the story.

Finally, there's always a certain satisfaction in exposing the powerful and purportedly virtuous. It confirms a cynical view of the world, that behind closed doors everyone is up to something untoward.

The resignation under fire of David Petraeus is many things: a global media circus, a made-for-cable-TV reality soap opera, a professional disintegration, a bizarre and sad spectacle.

William Doyle

On one level, it is also unfair, since there is no proof yet that Petraeus violated any laws in his private personal conduct. And if perpetual moral chastity were a strict requirement for public office, Washington would be a ghost town filled with chirping crickets, tumbleweed and empty offices.

But Petraeus did occupy the most sensitive and potentially high-risk job in America, and there are concerns -- not yet verified, to be sure -- that sensitive information may have passed to his mistress. From a national security risk perspective, and because of the dangers of blackmail or influence by foreign powers, it's not too much for the American people to expect from a CIA director that he or she suspend such third-party relationships while in the post.

I interviewed Petraeus a while back for my book. Like many others, I found him to be very helpful, responsive and enthusiastic, even though I believed that he did not turn the Iraq War around in 2007, but rather built on the momentum already established by Capt. Travis Patriquin and his Army and Marine colleagues the year before.

I am sorry to see Petraeus go because he seems to be a very capable man for the job.

Petraeus was America's first great digital general. He was the ultimate "PowerPoint Ranger" -- the nickname given by military officers to colleagues adept at giving dazzling digital presentations overflowing with data, graphics and bullet points. He was an inveterate e-mailer, famously accessible to journalists, historians and writers at all hours. So it's not surprising that he was brought down by a chain of e-mails.

Perhaps Petraeus and his former colleague Gen. John Allen were addicted to e-mails on some level, but in jobs like theirs, sloppiness can be fatal. In the digital age where everything seems to have a trail, there is really no escape, no appeal and no cover-up.

There's been a lot of talk from Petraeus' supporters that he did the honorable thing by quitting. The truth is, given his job and the digital world we live in, he had no choice.

David Petraeus is by equal account an honorable man, a great patriot and one of the most important generals in recent U.S. history. So was it really necessary for our country to lose one of its brightest intellects in the top spy job just because he had an affair? Can't you hear the laughter coming from France or Italy, where the reaction to discovery of a mistress or even a child out of wedlock is blasé?

Noel M. Tichy

Petraeus' resignation was as honorable as it was necessary. He didn't lose his job over infidelity. He had to either resign or be fired because he exercised poor judgment. It's that simple.

Chris DeRose

Petraeus' surreptitious extramarital affair was investigated for fear he might have been the target of blackmail or revealed national secrets. As a long-time Washington insider, Petraeus was no naif about the consequences if the affair became public.

The moment the man in charge of the world's most powerful spy agency engaged in the affair, he took a risk that had repercussions well beyond his personal life. His self-indulgence invited an inevitable media circus that has undermined his credibility and distracted his organization at the critical moment it faces an inquiry into the September attack on the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi, Libya.

Petraeus knew that his ability to stand tall before his co-workers at the CIA, the Congress or the American people had been compromised. To enable the CIA to get on with its business, he accepted the need to step aside so that his personal life didn't become the focus.

Organizations are built on trust and shared values. When leaders exercise bad judgment and take actions that risk the well-being of their constituents -- even if it happens in their personal life and is not criminal -- they compromise that trust and have to go.

In the business world, CEOs or top leaders at Best Buy, Stryker, Highmark and Lockheed Martin have lost their jobs in recent months because of sexual affairs. Most companies have explicit rules or require disclosure of relationships within a company. These policies are to protect employees from managers who might leverage their power to sexually harass subordinates or engage in favoritism, creating intolerable work environments. Such rules apply to all employees, but these business leaders failed to acknowledge their affairs. Some simply kept secrets from their boards of directors, while others took deliberate steps to conceal them, no doubt to protect their reputations and marriages.

To Petraeus' credit, he reportedly never asked for special treatment and knew that public knowledge of his lapse in judgment would inevitably lead to his removal. Let's applaud Petraeus and thank him for his invaluable service to our country.

As Americans, we seem to love redemption stories and have been so often willing to give our leaders a second chance after they demonstrate their fallibility. Petraeus will no doubt resurface in coming years and, we hope, continue to contribute to our nation's welfare. It just won't be at the CIA.

Noel M. Tichy and Chris DeRose are co-authors of "Judgment on the Front Line: How Smart Companies Win By Trusting Their People." They have advised CEOs around the world and worked with Royal Dutch/Shell, Ford Motor Company, 3M and HP.