Every third Monday in January is now Blue Monday, accordingtothemainstreammedia. Granted, some say the second Monday, or the fourth. It makes no difference, each one is just as likely to be the most depressing day of the year. You could pick the first Thursday in August if you like, it’s just as valid. Or the ninth Saturday in Smarch, doesn’t matter.

It’s difficult to keep track of how many times it’s been debunked and ridiculed, often in this very blog. But it keeps coming back year after year, sometimes via well-meant campaigns that sadly only serve to give it far more credibility than is warranted. Making an extra effort to be supportive of people with depression on “Blue Monday” is like being more considerate of diabetics because Jupiter is rising in Virgo.

I’d vowed to never speak of it again. But people keep asking me about it, letting me know it’s coming up, linking me to things referring to it, and all manner of stuff like that. Clearly all my previous efforts at mocking and distancing myself from the ludicrous phenomenon have backfired. So, I’m making one more effort at clarifying my thoughts on the matter and on the validity of Blue Monday.

Does depression work this way? No. Is the equation used to determine Blue Monday anything other than gibberish? No. Is it anything more than cynical advertising bumph that people have lapped up to an alarming extent? No.

And here’s the most important bit: is it really the most depressing day of the year?

I don’t know how I can put it any clearer. But then, my previous efforts to state the facts of the matter in writing have failed to achieve any lasting effect. So if one method doesn’t work, you should try another. So here are some attempts at addressing the issue via methods that the internet seems to relate to.

So, is it the most depressing day of the year? What do you think, Darth Vader?

And you, TV’s Calculon?

What about you, 90’s era nostalgic reference 2 Unlimited?

Maybe videos are still too subtle a format to get the point across? After all, it seems like Blue Monday is basically a meme at this point. And how do you fight a meme?

What do you think, Wonka?

Willy Wonka on Blue Monday.

Good point.

How about you, Doge?

Doge on Blue Monday.

Of course, because of balance, if you ask a dog you have to consult …

Grumpy Cat on Blue Monday.

That’s pretty clear. But some people might still be a bit confused. Isn’t that right, Fry?

Fry on Blue Monday.

Good point. What do you make of this, Kermit?

Kermit on Blue Monday.

Excellent, another important aspect. What’s your take on it Buzz?

Buzz Lightyear on Blue Monday.

And you, Batman?

Batman on Blue Monday. Photograph: Dean Burnett meme generator

All right mate, take it easy yeah?

If you had to sum it up Boromir, how would you do so?

Boromir on Blue Monday.

Yes, exactly.

And in case there’s anyone reading this who still doesn’t quite get it, here is the point of this piece made in a format that seemingly everyone will pay attention to; printed directly onto Kim Kardashian’s impressive posterior.