Not that you deserve any excuses, but here are some that each partially explain is letting the home opener go with little mention here.

First, the less obvious... I worked a 12 hour day on Friday, plus caught Liverpool's away match to Chelsea at the newly minted 'The Team,' Carragher's new little brother situated next door on West 39th. Between the work hours and the elation at a sports team winning an improbable game away from home against recent champions and likely title contenders, gearing up to write about the Bills' loss to the confusing and unironically shit Jets was a non-starter. A busy weekend of varied personal and familial tasks kicked the can further down the road.

Second, the obvious. Yes, they were bad. Yes, the idea of heaping on scorn was both appealing and nevertheless unsavory after waking up to Buffalo twitter's commendable implosion. All true things. All reason enough to take a few days off, but not the whole story.

Third, the practical. This team became impossible to write about in a compelling way for a few days. Not for everyone, obviously; I didn't but read a smattering of the takes on the loss and everything that came thereafter, but it was clear that at least some of those takes were worth writing and having other people read. Slam dunk subject matter of a completely indefensible pro sports franchise, for sure. But not for me, I guess.

Partially because I wasn't interested in bringing a tired perspective to the table (though I'm good with doing that now), partially because I knew the people that read us here do so out of a voracious appetite for #content, meaning they will already have read others with actual circulation give a serving of fair takes reflecting the altogether consistent hatred of this fucking football team among the fan base and local media, and partially because suddenly the landscape of the Bills kept changing over the course of the 3rd quarter and then on through the rest of the weekend, I let it lie for a few days. It was hard to gear up with a well-balanced take when it seemed likely it would be mooted by some forthcoming report we'd inevitably be given a few hours later.

Ok, so there's the background, and it's that last point I want to take up for a little two-step.

I watched the second half of last week's game on DVR at 1 o'clock Friday morning. My body gave out around 10 Thursday night, during halftime, and I went to take a "nap," waking up diligently to finish the game in about 30 minutes. For all intents and purposes, I'm sitting right in the beginning laps of middle age, and maybe I need a Red Bull or five to stay up late and pound beers like I am wont to do, but I can rally with the best of them. Even for a football team I love to hate and hate to love.

At first, it was gravy. Man, the start of that second half was fun as balls. These motherfuckers had me scribbling notes about the good things I was seeing - Sammy drawing coverage away from secondary targets; Tyrod making it work despite his weaknesses and the play-calling ruts; the way the defense was attacking the ball; Tyrod calming the bench down after his TD to Salas, like he knew there was a lot of work still to do (there was); Sammy getting hyped as hell for his fellow receivers; the kickoff coverage; Leodis and his fumble recovery. There was a lot to bemoan about the first half (which I watched on mute hashtag marriage hashtag billing hours) - failing to make Fitz pay for early mistakes, weak play calling (again), and curiously poor coverage in the secondary, for starters - but for a little while in the 3rd quarter the team had me drawn back in. I was exhausted and parts of my brain were probably still asleep and accordingly much of my memory of how everything went down is unreliable, but I found myself sitting there all "man Hartman was right, this team can be fun and that's good."

Haha, what an asshole that guy is.

Nearly as quickly as the bug of "shit are they really going to win this, fucking awesome" got caught, the Bills scorched the hope with a glazed malaise of prototypical Buffalo Football and all momentum fizzled with a muted squelch. A quick useless drive after Robey-Coleman scampered into the endzone with the kind of purpose that fuels the legs of a middling roleplayer, forfeiting the team's best (only?) opportunity at solidifying a two possession game; cornerbacks asked to do too much while being far too gassed by the abbreviated time that the offense possessed the ball; a pretty bad team's dream playing out through the Jets' night; a similarly bad but persistently worse team facing a reality we'd been assured would not come.

Even for those of us who never really bought what Rex has been selling, the clarity of the failure was shocking.

With the tech assist from my DVR, this failed denouement lasted no more than 12 minutes of real time. Though my tired eyes had a hard time comprehending the new depths of garbage that this team insists on wading into, it's ultimately nothing more than an inevitable shoe drop these days.

And now, the Tuesday after, the shoes haven't really stopped dropping. Maybe that's the only positive to find in the landscape of this moment: at the very least, the club's near-instant reaction to the pair of spectacularly Bills losses confirms that what we watched was, yes, really bad; so bad that the organization's track record of artful PR and head-in-sand management was no match for the clarity of this recent run of Suck.

Of course that positive has its limits, and the last four and a half days have seen the local sport punditry try to make sense of the doubly fucked scenario, asking "why is this team so shit?" and "even if the club recognizes that it's shit, are the people in charge equipped to right the shit?" This second question arguably deserves to be first, and it's probably an easier question to answer: Nope. No evidence that anyone - from top to bottom, from Terry and Kim to Russ "Burns When He Pees" Brandon to Doug to Rex to Rob to the entire coaching staff to the trainers and the room full of jamokes just waiting to throw someone under the bus - has any real competency in the area of making this a good football team. Roman was by no means the top of anyone's list of most culpable, and so long as his remains the only head to have been severed against the chopping block, his firing will remain a move nakedly futile on its own.

When the ship is sinking and remains so in perpetuity, everyone is accountable and no one accountable.

Maybe that changes soon, and again, that's the optimistic angle if you want one: someone pretty high in the ranks got kicked to the curb, meaning the Pegulas do not like owning and watching a shit Bills team. And, frankly, that's no small thing when compared to the Odious Taint ownership that we lived with for so long. Even so, it's just not enough. Now that the prism of our consumption of this team isn't bound to the fear of it leaving Western New York, now that #OneBuffalo has been branded onto our subconscious and that prism of fear replaced with a marketed commitment to success and community through this team, it's right to expect more from the Pegulas. If these teams of ours are going to claim to reflect the best of us as a community of neighbors and friends and sports fans, it's right to look at Roman's firing and exclaim "great, good, what's next?"

All the same, it's exhausting as hell to be at the familiar crossroads where the best we can hope for is a quick road to abject failure, draft picks and yet another One Bills Drive reboot, each more pathetically distant from that 90s small screen magic as the last. No amount of optimism or #OneBuffalo corporate circle-jerking can cure that in the short term, with the best case scenarios hitting pay dirt some years down the line.

The sooner the Pegulas wash their hands of all the terribly milquetoast football management talent in their employ, the better. So, what's next?

I’ve had recaps partially written the last few weeks. I promise. But then Wednesday would predictably roll around, too much of the post would be left to do, Bradley Gelber would incite unrelated rage in one way or another, my kid would poop himself, my wife would be justifiably mad at me for one thing or another, and I would give up. If I had any real sense that those recaps would have been good, or that anyone truly missed them, I would apologize. I do not, and you have not. Alas. Maybe you just come here for the podcasts, which is totally understandable as they are awesome, but even that proved too difficult this week after Scizz and my effort at a Halloween evening recording was ultimately unusable – a weird electronic distortion of our otherwise silky smooth voices, creating something way too close to the sound created by the device that creepy motherfuckers use on the phone whilst stalking/engaging in international espionage/playing pranks on their teachers/murdering teenagers in some suburban wasteland of the late 90s. We're trying again soon.As for my writing, I got a new job a few weeks back, and before that I was steadily seeking employment with a level of anxiety that made spending too much time writing here seem foolish at best and, at worst, unconscionably dismissive of my duties as bringer-of-bacon to the homestead. All of which is to say that while this little internet playground we have here at DGWU Sports has been left largely free of the heavy tread of my #hotsportstake gait, it is all for very good reasons. But while I have a few moments in between assignments at the new gig, let’s touch on a few of the things that I would have posted about previously but for my career, marriage, kid, and intoxication.

In the wake of such a joyous victory, it’s probably no surprise that it’s taken a little longer to get a recap up. Words are simply insufficient to express the happiness with which I take every step throughout the Tri-State knowing that my beloved squad has vanquished such an annoying and petulant team from the nether regions of Douchebagistan, New Jersey. Either that, or the Apologist offered to do the recap and then got burnt out by over-thinking it and now I am diligently picking up his fucking predictable slack. Hashtag friendship.

That really was a great game. The first of its kind this year: a convincing win by the Bills; the result never really in doubt beyond half time. Sure, many fans, including a few in my living room, expected the game to fall apart when the Jets finally put a touchdown on the board, but those efforts by Gangrene, excuse me Gang_Green, were woefully insufficient compared to the kind of day Buffalo was having. Fucking unreal, totally unexpected, and still has me tingling from head to toe a day and half later. Bullet points await!!

The BarristerSeriously, fuck the Bills, y'all. But while I'm trying to find the energy or desire to run through my own post-mortem on our shite squad and another shite season, there are certain things to be happy about, even in the darkness that is sport. Here's one!

Oh that is just precious.Jets games have always been a dangerous place, but the idea that MetLife Stadium is devolving into a mess of frustration and anger amongst the home fans is simply amazing. This is a team, and a fan base, that has believed that success is right around the corner; that their franchise is worthy of the back pages of New York City's papers. And here comes Fireman Ed, a patron Saint of the franchise, used in marketing over and over the past few years, with a guest contribution to Metro - arguably the New York Jets of New York City papers - disclaiming his role as team mascot. To see him do this - to make such a grand, symbolic gesture while still assuring readers and fellow fans that he won't stop going to games - is a bizarre and wonderful mix of irony and irrationality. As if the fights he claims to avoid every week won't follow him. As if his role as "homer shithead" is somehow abandoned so long as he doesn't wear that absurd helmet. As if the simple act of publishing this in the Metro won't bring down a firestorm of rage from fellow Jets fans angered by his fair-weather fan attitude.

Of course, I know that I have no right to be making fun of another franchise or its fans right now. Our team is terrible. Our coach needs to be fired. And the Jets have embarassed us time and again lately. But, I can't help it. If the Bills aren't going to make me feel any better about the NFL right now - and we know they won't - I'll be doing my darndest to make myself feel better by laughing at the misfortune of others.

Losing all hope was freedom

UPDATE: I just got this email from a coworker trying to sell tickets to Arizona's upcoming game at MetLife. Was simply too good not to share here as well as Twitter...

Still smarting from Sunday's Week 1 debacle? Still want to wallow a little more, while simultaneously having your favorite blowhards serenade your ear holes with ill-formed arguments, rage storms and jokes about strippers?

Of course you do.

The Deeg was in attendance at MetLife this weekend. While the Bills couldn't be bothered to bring their A Game, we showed up to fucking play. And play we did.

That was creepy.

With a short pregame segment and a doggie bag full of hot takes from our ultimate, postgame trip back to the five boroughs, we discuss our terrible squad, undersized jerseys, canine cunnilingus, needle dick Jets fans, dick-hatted state troopers, and the presumptive end of the Ryan Fitzbeardy Era at One Bills Drive.

Recorded on an iPhone, what we lack in technical quality, we make up in faceless internet potshots.

The BarristerA simple point for today: Fuck Tim Tebow and a pox on ESPN for taking today's 25th anniversary of the only time he touched a vagina and making it into an insufferable blow fest.I don't watch ESPN's morning programming, mind you, so I can't pretend to claim that their coverage of this non-event ruined my day or that I am now hoarse from raging at my television over coffee and Cheerios. Even that distance from ESPN's influence, however, is not enough to keep my blood pressure in check as I learned about the Birthday Boy focus of both SportsCenter and First Take this morning. No, it's not surprising. And yes, I shouldn't get angry about it because there are certainly better things to do with my time. Ah well. Priorities.

Cue the milquetoast opener:Well gosh darnit, fans of the Deeg, I know you've been eagerly awaiting content from the Kings of Fresh Takes and like the degenerates we are, we've opted to tend to our real world lives instead of bloviating about the latest in bread and circus sports entertainment. Why the lull? Well, personally, my answer to that question has three parts: (1) it's July and I've been getting viciously hamzoed more often than I should admit (hooray anonymous internet monikers!!); (2) I've been traveling a lot over the past 10 days, aforementionedly (not a word?) drunk for 70% of it (not true... not not true either), and I've simply been too drunk and/or hungover and/or distracted to sit down for a little chat; and (3) the only bright spots in my sports world are a surging team in a still ignored league (for now) and an utterly unproven team in the best league in America (for now). Forgive me if I don't jump for joy at the prospect of dwelling on shit that makes me contemplate a swift union between my fist and Fred Wilpon's balls.

But more on those Mets in a few. I can't lead of this trainwreck with that much heartache.Can't you tell this is going to be FUN??? I'm bored and drunk on a train and you all get the fruits of my labor!

Am I sore loser? Fuck to the yes I am! After the Buffalo Bills failed to show up today, and the shitty NFL officiating crews continued their streak of...um...shitty officiating, I felt like I should take this time to make some comments about the 27 - 11 embarrassment of loss to the New York Felons. Also, if you make it through all of my nonsense you'll see I recorded a post-game podcast with Joe from Buffalon Wins tonight. It's kind of like the CrapTastiCast, except with real intelligence and sports talk, and a lack of dick and rape jokes.

Also, every image break will be a Jets mugshot this week.

Santonio scores TD's and beats women! Yay for him!

-Ryan Fitzpatrick has shown why, although better than Trent Edwards, we as fans must still get use to these occasional games of terrible INT's and questionable throws. I love the balls that the bearded wonder has, but the guy has to throw the ball away sometimes. This "Fuck it, I'm throwing long" Rex Grossman mentality is going to bite the Bills in the ass. HOWEVER, this same mentality is why the guy is on pace to throw for more yards than any Bills QB in 15 years. Give and take....give and take.

-I stand by my previous Mark Sanchez comments. The guy is not that good. In fact, the Jets won IN SPITE of him. Take away those fucking awful pass interference calls (except the McGee one, that was bad) and Sanchez probably is not in position to throw one TD.

-Why does Chan continue to only get Freddie Jackson involved every other week? Even the Scizzette looked at me in confusion this week and asked why he doesn't get to run the ball more. I could only shrug my shoulders. Dude is having an MVP year and averaged 5 yards a carry in the first half, and the team continues to gun the ball at an undersized Donald Jones. C'mon Chan! Give him the god damn ball!

-David Nelson and Scott Chandler need more looks underneath. That is all.

-I should mention right now that I am a know-it-all fan whose only football experience is numerous undefeated seasons on Madden from 1997 - 2006, and two years of PONY football in Franklinville, NY.

-THE OFFICIATING AGAINST SMALL MARKET TEAMS IN THE NFL WHEN THEY ARE PLAYING BIG MARKETS IS ABSOLUTELY VOMIT INDUCING AND I STAND BY THIS. GEORGE WILSON WAS ROBBED AND ANYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH SUCH CAN LICK MY TAINT AND ROT IN HELL.

-Aaron Maybin still sucks.

-I know I mentioned Jackson, Chandler, and Nelson, but why aren't the Bills using more of their weapons? Where were Brad Smith and C.J. Spiller? What about Jonathan Linton and Tim Tindale? Russell Copeland? Is anyone else enjoying these random Bills offensive player mentions? No? Ok, I'll stop.

-Still standing by this O-line. Fitz wasn't hurried too much and Jackson had some decent holes considering the defensive prowess of the Jets.

-This team has to beat the Cowboys next week. I cannot handle two straight losses to shitbag teams that I despise.

You would look this pissed off too if you just shot yourself in the leg.

Now that I have that nonsense off my chest, take a listen to Joe (from Buffalowins.com) and I talking about several of these same points, as well as many others. The dude is on his game.

I started with a cheap shot foot joke at Rex Ryan this week. So what? I don't want to be original. I want to be a mean spirited guy that makes fun of other's shortcomings, so I say fuck him and his clogged arteries. I WANT VICTORY!!!

In my week 9 Bills preview, I have decided to very simply break down all the things I LOVE about the Bills so far this year and HATE about the Jets. After last week's performance, the Bills deserve no animosity from me, however, that could all change this week BECAUSE IF THEY LOSE TO THE JETS I WILL DISOWN THEM AS A FRANCHISE AND MOVE TO CANADA! NOTHING LESS WILL BE ACCEPTED AAAAAAHHHH RAAAAAAAAAAGE STOOOOOOOOOOORM I HATE THE JETS!!!!

Before I blow a gasket, let me count the ways I adore the 2011 Buffalo Bills:

1. Fred Jackson is arguably the best running back in the NFL this season and should be a legitimate early MVP contender. Of course Aaron Rodgers, Calvin Johnson, and Patrick Willis are getting all of the attention, as well they should be, but blowhards on the radio and ESPN are talking up Eli FUCKING Manning as an early candidate. Just stop. Seriously.

Jackson has already rushed for 721 yards, with 1074 yards from scrimmage in ONLY SEVEN GAMES! Toss in a 5.5 yards per carry average and 6 TD's and that's pretty fucking incredible. The only other RB's that even touch him this year are AP (Vikings suck), and Matt Forte (Mike Martz). As mentioned on this week's CrapTastiCast, Freddie is by far the best RB this team has had since Thurman, and the organization needs to lock him up NOW! If the team makes the playoffs, hence lifting my ban of purchasing Bills merchandise, #22 is an easy purchase....after he extends his contract.

2. Marcell Dareus is going to be a beast for years to come. Yachtsman touched on this earlier in the week, so I won't exhaust it, but JESUS H. CHRIST did you see him move out there last Sunday? I don't give a shit if it was the Redskins or any other team, franchise players dominate bad teams. That's what he did, and I want to kiss him on the mouth. Picture that....go ahead, do it. You know you want to.

3. The collective of random players making big plays is mind blowing. Fitzy and Stevie Johnson have become quite the impressive combo, but how about Scott Chandler and his 6 Touchdowns? How did Chan and Buddy find this guy? CHANDLAARS!!!!

Throw in David Nelson, Naaman Roosevelt, George Wilson, Kirk Morrison, Bryan Scott, and I could keep going. Gotta love the Goonies.

4. The offensive line is the most ridiculously over-achieving group of players I have ever seen. Even with Demetrius Bell resting, the group has created a fortress of solitude around the Amish Rifle, the likes of which no one has seen in Buffalo since 1994.

Can you name all the starters? Here they are: Andy Levitre, Jim Richter, Mike Ludders, Fred Dukes, and a marble pillar. The more you know.

SMART

Now onto the Jets hate. Fuck 'em.

1. The fans (for the most part) are cut from the mold of satan's asshole. Besides a few close friends who know football, it is next to impossible to have intelligent conversations with these monsters. Every time I travel to the Meadowlands or watch football in New York, I get Johnny Pepperoni and big Sal telling me how great the Jets are, and how the Bills and everybody else in the NFL suck, despite them only knowing that Mark Sanchez is their QB, Rex Ryan is the coach, and bunch of black guys they would normally hate are the rest of the team. Yes, I'm calling many of them racist. Head to the Meadowlands, you'll see.

Remember how much these guys loved Eric Mangini? The Mangenius? Remember all of the shit talking these fuckheads did when he was the coach? Another rage storm approaching....

The worst part is that this fat fuck Rex Ryan has bumped up their sense of accomplishment. I don't mind fans being confident in their team, BUT ONLY IF THEY CAN BACK IT UP!!!! If you can't name the starting defense or even know the name of your coordinators, then get the fuck away from me and go back to watching Soprano's re-runs and talking about how you could beat up Ronnie from Jersey Shore. Uh oh.....RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE STOOOOOOOOOOOOOORM!!!!!!!!!

2. Darrelle Revis is so fucking good it makes me angry. I'm not sure how to justify this, but the guy is the game changing coverage corner that I have always wanted the Bills to find. Having him on the field gives the Jets an insane boost, no matter who they are playing. I WANT HIM ON MY TEAM GOD DAMMIT! Oh wait, we have Leodis. Joy.

3. Mark Sanchez is slightly better than Trent Dilfer. He is not a star QB. He is a good looking asshole who knows how and when to say the right things, but as a player he does "just enough". The reason that Baltimore won a Super Bowl in 2001 was their defense and running game, and that's how the Jets manage to succeed (although the running game has struggled the last couple of seasons). Trent Dilfer's job was to not screw up; same as the role Sanchez has taken. Sure, he has shown flashes of star power, but overall the guy is mediocre. This isn't a bad thing for the Jets, but the fans, media, and his teammates need to stop treating him like super star. He's no Browning Nagle.

4. I hate Rex Ryan. I hate his fat face. I hate his dumb foot fetish. I hate his loudmouth predictions that nobody holds him accountable for. I hate his doofy smile. I hate his brother. I hate the fact he gave up on his team and talked shit about them, yet when THEY turned it around, he took all of the credit. I hate that he is a known horse rapist. I hate that he laughed when Steve Jobs passed away. I hate that he drinks Cosmopolitans. I hate that he runs a dog fighting ring. And finally, I hate that he never even considered coaching the Bills.

But that no longer matters because Chan is the man!

Until a blowout loss tomorrow, and then of course I move to Canada and start my new Toronto sports themed blog, Dear Lord, what aboot us, eh?