Not sure what's best for us

So my daughter was born 6 weeks ago. Everything kept going wrong and she ended up coming out by a c section. It was very traumatic for everyone. Now my boyfriend isn't my daughters father he knows this we weren't together when i got pregnant i was with someone else. But we have been together most of my pregnancy and he was very supportive. With my daughter he was really good with her the first two weeks she was born he was super helpful and very loving towards her. Then i started getting sick and got a severe infection at my incision and ended up getting it reopened surgically then everything changed. He started getting angry at her for really small things like her crying or squirming around, she has colic. It got to the point where he raises his voice at her and calls her names. Now he wants almost nothing to do with her he barely imteracts with her. We live with my parents and he will just leave her in the living room with my mom and just leave and not tell anyone or leave her on the couch by herself where she can roll off. I keep telling him he can't do these things and he just doesnt care. Or he claims that he will "work on not doing it" he never does. Hes good at being there for me, but not for her. I can't even leave her alone with him because he just lets her cry. And if hes sleeping he doesn't wake up when she cries and if he does by some miracle wake up, he turns around and puts his back to her. I know i should probably leave him for the way he treats her. But i don't think i can do this without him financially. Im sick 24/7 and theres no possible way i could even attempt to try and work right now. I want whats best for her i just don't know what to do.

Comments (71)

Aww *hugs* if you're living with your family, kick his ass out. He sounds like a dick. Hopefully they can let you stay short term? You should also be able to qualify for short term disability, WIC, food stamps, etc to contribute.

I agree fully with pp that is not okay or a healthy way for your daughter to grow up at all. She could easily roll off the couch and get brain damage or injured because of his negligence let alone how it will effect her emotionally with him yelling at her. Definitely not okay I'm so sorry you are going through this big hugs your way

But you are her only advocate and you are a mom so it's a package deal, and one he clearly cannot handle or deserve! So yes leave him asap and you will definitely qualify for assistance and you are the perfect candidate for why it was made. Good luck, it may seem hard now, but it will get better

Leave! Now. Kick him out. You live with your parents, hopefully they can provide some support while you get back on your feet and as other posters mentioned you can probably qualify for some gov assistance. If a man is “good at being there for you” but not for your kid, then he is NOT being there for you!!! Your daughter deserves way better than this. Please kick this guy out now before it gets worse for your innocent child.

I cringe at the fact that you’ll stay with him because he supports you financially but won’t leave him with the way he treats your daughter. Very sad and nasty for him to put your daughter in danger by leaving her alone on the couch. That’s just sick.

Leave him before you end up being that mom in the news whose boyfriend killed her child. It happens all the time. There is NO way I’d stay with someone treats my children bad. I don’t care if I have to get government help, I’m not putting my children in a dangerous situation.

I had a c section to and am alone, my baby has now 2 months I did everything for him it’s hard and painful but you can do it you don’t need him am single

I have government help , you can have wic and food stamp and also Medicaid for you baby, there also a organización called family first , for now just put everything in the bed if you are alone so y can feed and change the baby, if you mom is there just ask her to change the baby for you , but the rest you can do it in the u don’t need to get up. If more dangerous to have a angry man around. And be strong if u can cook get frozen dinners for now and easy snacks buy ensure so u can drink it some times also I did all that.

I think you already know what you need to do. Get rid of this loser. "It got to the point where he raises his voice at her and calls her names." This is NOT OK!! It pisses me off and shes not even my kid .Please get rid of this guy .

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