I was selected ordered to participate in the American Community Survey (ACS). Never heard of it? Neither did I, until the edict arrived in the mail from the Community Organizer in Chief, via one of his many bootlicking lackeys, Robert M. Groves, director of the United States Department of Commerce.

I'll receive the survey in a few days, the edict tells me. The 28-page questionnaire [download a pdf here] is separate from the Census. My response to both (emphasis theirs) documents is “required by U.S. Law.”

As promised, the survey came today, in a thick envolope with these bold letters stamped on the front: YOUR RESPONSE IS REQUIRED BY LAW. As I mentioned the other day, this isn't your run of the mill government survey, not when I'm being expected to answer questions like this (emphasis mine):

What is your name, address, and date of birth?

What is your race?

Are you Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin?

Where were you born?

What is your ancestry or ethnic origin?

How many cars do you have at your house?

Do you have a flush toilet?

Do you have a sink with a faucet?

How much is your rent/mortgage?

Do you have a second mortgage? How much is it?

Are you covered by a health insurance plan? Which type?

Do you have serious difficulty hearing? Seeing? Concentrating, remembering, or making decisions?

Do you have difficulty dressing or bathing?

How many times have you been married?

When did you last get married?

Where did you work last? What’s the address?

What time do you leave home to go to work?

What is your income?

What is your retirement/pension?

Do you have a VA disability rating?

What’s the most important thing you do at work?

And I'm not your run of the mill American sheeple.

After seeing the package, I took out the worn, dog-eared copy of the Constitution I've been carrying around in my jacket pocket for the past 10 years and, turning to the first page, under Article 1, Section 2, read the entire amount of the information I am "REQUIRED BY LAW," according to the Founders, to provide to the federal government:

Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers ...

In other words, I'm required to tell the federal government how many people live in my house but ... not their names, not their race, not the kind of home I live in, not when I moved here, not "the actual sales of all agricultural products from this property" (it's too damned cold to grow weed in the winter, dummies), not what kind of fuel heats my home, not how many vehicles I own, not how much I spent on water or heat during the past 12 months, not how much my mortgage payment is, not how well I speak English, not what kind of health insurance I have, not if I'm deaf or can't dress myself or if I piss in an outhouse because I don't have running plumbing.

Not. One. Word. Of. It.

Which is why, once again, this piece of shit questionnaire is going back to the District of Criminals marked "Return to Community Organizer and Chief," like the letter notifying me I had been selected ordered to participate in the ACS, with only one question completed -- the number of people who live at my address -- along with a copy of the Constitution:

20
comments:

Bungalow bill
said...

I went through this with them last year with some small business owner survey they sent me. I don't own a small business. I quoted from the Constitution, they quoted from US Code. In the end they got tired of my calling and bitching about their survey, but this was after they threatened to take legal action against me.

Billy Long is Wrong http://www.longiswrong.com

Snarky Basterd
said...

They can threaten all they want; it won't make a bit of difference. I'm not complying.

Bunni
said...

Good for You, SB, Keep up apprised of what the scums do next.That's a good idea, I"m going to send that page of the constitution along too.

lady di
said...

Oh Snark, you are one of the chosen ones.....give em hell

Logistics Monster
said...

:::tapping foot:::: I am still waiting for mine....and thinking about what I am going to do. 8-)

silverfiddle
said...

I remember Michelle Bachman saying she wouldn't comply either. Is there any legal movement afoot to stand up against this?

Anonymous
said...

If you get in a jam, maybe you should see if one of the legal defense outfits would go after this, like the ACLJ. They're like the ACLU, except that actaully beleive in the Consititution.

Karen Howes
said...

Well done, Snarky. I'm proud. :)

Opus #6
said...

I won't be filling that one out.

Ex-parrot
said...

Jesus this is amazing. Oh my God I want to be selected now....I'm sure I'd make the news. Good response!

Don
said...

Awesome Snarky!

HoosierArmyMom
said...

BRAVO Snarky!!!! These liars and snake oil salesmen in the White House are making me SICK!!!! Tomorrow we get the treat of watching the ShamWow presentation on health care!!!

I plan to do the same thing, only I may include a "tea bag". That will send them into a full scale panic!!!

MK
said...

Well done Snarky, i hope the cowardly bullies back off.

Always On Watch
said...

Talk about a Nanny State questionnaire!

Note this:

What time do you leave home to go to work?

An open invitation to a burglar, IMO.

HoosierArmyMom
said...

Probably so they know when to send in the SEIU Thugs to steal your computer and personal information!!!!

Woodsterman
said...

I haven't heard anyone anywhere ask this question yet, so please allow me. Where the "F" is the "F***ing" ACLU during all of this ? Is it because we're Conservative Republicans and not rightfully imprisoned Mussims ?

Anonymous
said...

Boy, I hope I get one of these. Along with the Constitution, maybe I'll include a slice of tomato, some dried beets or other "agricultural products from this property" as a little bonus. Great work, as always, Snarky.JB

cmblake6
said...

Excellent. Warmed my heart, indeed.

Rob Sermon
said...

Out FRappin' standing. While my census envelope will contain similiar sentiment, the verbiage will change...brevity is the sole of wit...

kook
said...

Loving it...have not got mine yet.I believe I will answer the ONE question honestly. And the rest will probably be ridiculous made up numbers. I fly 4000 miles to work every day...I do not have a flush toilet or a faucet... I have 25 cars... the most important thing I do all day is pray for the unelection of BHO