With 15 million American families owing more money on their mortgage than the value of their home, most decent human beings would be sympathetic to their plight and want to provide some sort of relief to help them keep a roof above their heads, but not Mitt Romney! Mitt Romney wants nothing standing in the way of foreclosures, because Mitt Romney believes that poor financial decisions deserve to be punished (unless they’re made by bankers). That’s a stance that might be very unpopular with voters still angry at the big banks, but I admire Romney’s principled position that I’m sure has nothing to do with his own personal profits.

Finally, I fell in love with Romney’s Medicare proposal as soon as I saw it. His idea is to change Medicare as we know it by giving seniors a coupon that they can use for either private health insurance, or traditional government Medicare. The plan would ensure that the most vulnerable seniors, the especially sick and poor, would have to pay more for health care, and the best part is that the value of the coupon decreases over time! But again, this is about priorities. Romney takes the money he saves off the backs of seniors and uses it to cut corporate taxes and increase defense spending, because not only are corporations people, but they’re more important people than sick grandparents.

It’s for all of these reasons and more that I firmly believe Mitt Romney is the perfect person to lead this country going forward. His vision is one of exactly the kind of country I want to live in, a place of by and for the top 1%.

On a totally separate and unrelated note: Happy April Fool’s Day everyone!