My Married Life: Do You Have (At Least) One Crazy Neighbor?

I read this thread on TheNest.com boards and nearly wet myself. Two words -- short shorts. Three more words -- mowing the lawn. Jack and I have had a million crazy neighbors (a few literally), but two come to mind right now. At our first apartment in New York City, we had a downstairs neighbor in his 60's who told us that he'd been "conceived" in his apartment, and had lived there ever since. He let it slip that he was only paying $400 rent (we were paying $2,000 for the same apartment layout on a different floor). "That's why the landlord wants me dead!" he said. Oh…did I mention he was wearing baggy white grippies and nothing else as he stood in his doorway telling us this? Weirdly though, Jack and I both loved him -- he was just another flavor crystal spicing up our NYC experience.

Our second crazy neighbor is near our current place in upstate New York. We call him, "the consumer," since he has the tiniest house on the block but is constantly buying big ticket items like a riding lawnmower, snow throwers and jumbo gas grills. Each time he buys a new something-or-other, he comes across the street and gets Jack so he can show it to him. What's weird about this, is that Jack is so clearly not that guy. He can barely muster up the energy to say, "That's nice," in a quiet voice. Jack doesn't care about gear (unless it's music gear), I have never seen him admire a car, motorcycle or state-of-the-art meat cooking device. But the guy comes over and fetches him, and Jack obediently goes, looks at the item, and finally says, "It's nice." And every time, the guy across the street says, "It better be! I paid enough for it."