black white_0275.docx - was feeling himself Even the...

was feeling himself? Even the powerful memory of their fi rst kiss was subject to interruption by an image from his father’s narrative. She was waiting for him on the steps of the Heritage Center. It was all he could do not to grab her as she slid in next to him. “I missed you,” he said. The three days had crawledby like weeks. “Me too,” she said. She stared at him intently. “Do you see him?” he asked. “Who?” “That black man lurking inside me.” “I’m sorry. You’d think I’d know better.” “It’s okay,” Michael said. “I’ve been doing the same thing.” He’d stared in the mirror until his vision blurred. The conundrums of Black & White 217 race were no longer academic. Why did a single drop of African blood make you black, but a single drop of European blood not make you white? Did that heritage make him diff erent than he would have been if Ruth had been his mother? Was his penis bigger, were his hands better able to catch a football, did he have more natural rhythm? If that was the fantasy, the reality included the possibility of

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