Ninja and Pirate: Volume 1 On Sale Now!

Envysaurus

Welcome webcomic viewers! Welcome to the world of Ninja and Pirate! It’s…well…a thing? I dunno. My enthusiasm’s gone already.

Anyway, today’s comic is part of a game of tag I’ve been playing with several of my super-talented webcomic buddies. The just regular talented ones don’t get to play! Seriously though, today I tagged the super cool Jesse Kiefer of such strips as Tank Monkey and the more adult/teen oriented Just For Kicks. So the hunt is on! I’ve hired a professional assassin and he’ll be toe-tagged within the day! So I win, right? That’s tag? I don’t know. I didn’t have any friends as a kid. Well, that’s not entirely true. I had several friends but the medication made them go away.

Also, I’m gettin a house! My landlord has made some major mistakes and is therefore losing us as tenants! I wish I could make that sound like we were actually showing her what for but odds are she doesn’t even know we exist beyond the monthly check deposit.

On that note, thanks for checking out Ninja and Pirate! It’s slowly getting more viewers and/or fans! Well let’s not beat around the bush- the speed at which I’m accumulating readers is akin to sloths covered in molasses playing golf, but it is progress! If you keep coming back every Wednesday and Saturday I promise to keep bringing the yuks! Sorry. Typo. I meant, yaks. Clearly. I bring yaks to work. Don’t ask. I do promise that Ninja and Pirate will always be totally free and totally family friendly, meaning that there’s nothing that will make you regret letting your little ones read it and it’s still enjoyable for you too! The furthest we’ll ever go is the occasional poop joke. Because poops are funny. Heh heh. Poop. It’s like a palindrome but actually amusing.

Keep watching Ninja and Pirate! Chapter 2 is almost done and Chapter 3 is gonna change the game up something fierce! It’ll be all like “Boy Monopoly sure is boring!” and then BLAM! This isn’t Monopoly anymore! It’s pinball with bumper cars and also Jennifer Lawrence is there and she’s like “Oh Joe you’re so attractive and manly and totally good at sports too” and I’ll be like “I know it.” and get a high score by going super fast in my race car and there’ll be explosions like BLOOOOOM!!! BLAMMA POWWW KROOOM DOOOMMBOWW!!

I may just be remembering my dream from last night though…

Keep in touch with me and Ninja and Pirate through my Twitter handle @ninjaandpirate (Fair warning: the tweets are not always family friendly. Occasional language. Like Esperanto. You’ve been warned), my email at ninja_pirate_comic@yahoo.com, and the Ninja and Pirate Facebook page!