Experts baffled by sudden appearance of workshy scroungers

Medical experts pronounced themselves baffled as hundreds of thousands of ‘ordinary working family people’ woke up this morning to discover they had turned into ‘useless workshy scroungers’ overnight.
One victim, civil servant Mrs Betty Rhododendron, said: “I went to bed last night comforted by the words of that nice Mr Cameron about us ordinary working family people being all in it together, and woke up to find Daily Mail readers shoving lit fireworks through my letterbox. I can’t understand it.”
Another sufferer, teacher Mr Arnold Paperback, said: “Everybody smiled as usual as they crammed their brats into their 4x4s yesterday, but today we’ve been told we can’t even use the parish hall for our meetings. We’ve got to make way for the Paedophile Illegal Immigrants Club, who meet every Thursday apparently. It’s very odd.”
Doctors have been under pressure from the Government to come up with a solution, and prescribed a course of systematic abuse from tabloid newspapers for those affected.
Dr Fernley Wallis, professor of electoral medicine at the University of Newcastle, said: “We’re confident that those affected will have turned back into ordinary working family people by the next time their votes are required.”