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26 March 2014

- Say, Chaim, did they have a referendum in Crimea?
- Yes.
- And what are the results?
- 97% voted to join Russia.
- And why would these 97% want to do this?
- Because they were oppressed by the other 3%.
- No, you don't say!
- You better believe it, Moishe, because Russians over there in Russia also say they suffered a lot from these 2% of Jews...

- You know, Meyer, I try not to speak Russian in the street anymore.
- Why is that, Reuven, are you afraid that these Ukrainian patriots will clean your clock?
- Nope, I am afraid that the Russians will come over to help me out.

And on a related subject. An Ukrainian naval base in Crimea is surrounded by Russian soldiers. The Russian officer is calling over to the Ukrainian commander.

- Surrender!
- Nah...
- Then start shooting!
- Nah...
- Oh well, at least let us in to warm up, it is cold like Siberia out here. Let us sleep in your barracks, be a man!
- Er... dunno... Well, OK, but for 90 bucks per head!
- Are you mad, why it is so expensive?
- Well, for sure you understand that Crimea is a resort area...