10 Emotional Stages of Realizing You're #ForeverAlone on Valentine's Day

It’s that time of year again. Valentine’s Day is the one day when you have to step back and take stock of your bachelorhood. Normally, only a call from your mother or a Save-the-Date invitation from a college buddy would spur this sort of relationship inventory, but you can’t walk past the endless rows of shitty stuffed animals at CVS and not think about your love life (or lack thereof).

It’s not that you need a woman on Valentine’s Day. Hell, you don’t mind saving the money. It’s that Valentine’s Day is a yearly reminder that even Jason from your psych lecture or Bill in accounting has a girlfriend. You have no one.

February is time for self-loathing, drinking, and the harsh realization that you’re going to be alone for the foreseeable future. Just in time for your annual bout of depression, here are the 10 Emotional Stages of Realizing You are #ForeverAlone on Valentine’s Day.