For some women, motherhood is a natural part of their life's plan. For others, it's an unexpected surprise. But for Phyllis Mischello, motherhood is a calling. And it's one that she has selflessly answered time and again.

The 53-year-old Old Forge resident and business owner was the subject of a moving letter penned by her youngest daughter, Jessica, a senior at The Pennsylvania State University in State College. The letter was voted the winning entry in this year's Sunday Times Mother's Day letter-writing contest.

In it, Jessica describes her mother as "beyond extraordinary" for working hard to raise her five children before opening up her own restaurant, Anthony's, in Old Forge, a move she made "mainly for her children." Jessica goes on to explain that, in addition to all this, her mother took up the cause of raising her sister's only child after she lost a battle with cancer earlier this year.

Family bond

While the grief of losing a sibling would be enough to unnerve even the strongest of individuals, Jessica affirmed that her mother put this pain aside to act as "the glue holding our family together."

Mrs. Mischello and her older sister, the late Cassandra Rizzo, along with their younger brother, James Rizzo, were born and raised in Old Forge by their parents, the late Marie and James (Jimmy) Rizzo. Mr. Rizzo owned Jimmy's Apparel and Mrs. Mischello described them both as hard workers who had a tremendous giving nature.

"No one ever left his store without a gift or a little present," she said.

Her brother, James, joined the Army and went on to be a career military man. At a young age, however, he found himself married to a fellow soldier and, rather unexpectedly, a father. He brought home a baby girl named Yvonne to introduce to the family and ask for help, and Mrs. Mischello fell in love. Rather than place the burden of raising an infant on their parents, who were well into their 60s at the time, Mrs. Mischello offered to take the baby and raise her as her own.

Yvonne kept her father's last name and the truth about her biological parents was always kept transparent, but if you ask anyone, there's no doubt Mrs. Mischello and her husband of 25 years, Pat, are her true parents.

"She's mine," Mrs. Mischello says fondly.

While their brother moved around from base to base, sisters Phyllis and Cassandra (Sandi) remained close to home. "Aunt Sandi" was a huge influence and major character in the lives of Mrs. Mischello's five children - Jimi Chesslock (from Mrs. Mischello's first marriage), Yvonne, Jennifer, Patrick and Jessica - acting almost as a second mom. She gave birth to her son, Christopher, later in life, at the age of 40. Her relationship with Christopher's father didn't work out, and she raised him as a single mother in the family home of her youth. The two families were tight-knit, which became key to making it through Cassandra's eventual illness.

Caring for sister

What was initially misdiagnosed as a pinched nerve, and then pneumonia, turned out to be terminal lung cancer in the 54-year-old. After receiving this news in October of 2009, Ms. Rizzo's health quickly declined, and Christopher eventually went to stay with the Mischellos. Meanwhile, everyone pulled together to keep her care a family matter.

"She was never alone; that's the way our family operates," Yvonne said. "Even if she was just sleeping, someone was there to keep her company."

Jennifer said the most incredible part of caring for their beloved aunt was watching the transformative effect it had on their mother.

"My mom is a complete workaholic. When my aunt got sick, that changed drastically. She altered her lifestyle completely, and that was the most selfless act I've ever seen from her," Jennifer said. "She made the time to take her to the doctor, or even just sit and watch TV with her. It was this whole other side of her, and it was really nice to see that part of her.

"She just really showed me when your family needs you, you do what you need to do."

Jessica explained that each of the kids took it upon themselves to help in whatever way they could. "We really focused on bringing love into the house for her and Chris, and that made all of our bonds stronger."

"There was a lot of family to help with her, and thank God for that," Mrs. Mischello said. "You know that song, 'He's Not Heavy, He's My Brother'? It was like that. I would literally carry her, and I don't know where I got the strength."

As Cassandra's health deteriorated further, Mrs. Mischello approached Christopher with questions about her hospice care. It was important to her that Christopher had the space from seeing his mother's health fail if he needed it.

However, Cassandra had believed that by keeping their own parents at home until the end, it had allowed their spirits to stay in the family home. She believed they continued to dwell there, watching over her and Christopher. When it was time to decide his own mother's fate, Christopher echoed this sentiment, wishing for his mother's spirit to stay with him and the Mischellos.

"He said, 'I don't want my mother to die with strangers. I would like my mother to die here, Aunt Phyllis,'" Mrs. Mischello recalled. And after her sister passed away in February, just a day before her 55th brithday and only months after her initial diagnosis, Mrs. Mischello thinks it did.

"She didn't want to go, so she didn't," she said. "She won't go."

Since then, the family has carried on, mourning their loss but celebrating the gain of a new member to the household.

"We like to show him a good time, you know, play baseball in the yard. ... We feel like kids again, too. It brings us back to our childhood that we could do these silly things with him that we wouldn't do if he wasn't around," Jessica said. "It's sad that my aunt is gone, but it is comforting to have him (Christopher) around.

"He brings laughter to us."

Yvonne recounted a recent holiday celebration that showed the family's resilience. For the first time in years, Anthony's was closed for Easter so that the family could spend the day together.

"Aunt Sandi always said 'Grace' at holiday dinners. ... We didn't say it at Easter," she said. "It was mixed emotions. It was something that was held sacred ... that was her role and it was really hard that she wasn't there. We had our support system there, but a piece of our family was not there and it was felt."

Still, the family has rallied around Christopher, not only taking turns doing things with him but fighting over opportunities to do so.

"He's going to have a lot of people watching over him," Yvonne said. "We take turns to go shopping, give him rides to Boy Scouts, help with homework. I think he has a lot of great influences guiding him at this point in his life, making sure he's on the right track."

And though Christopher misses his mother, whom he described as "kind-hearted," he relishes his new place in the family.

"My favorite part is being the youngest because everyone has stuff they can teach me," he said. He gets help with schoolwork from Yvonne and Jennifer, and Jessica is trying to teach him how to bake, while Pat teaches him new things, too.

"They feel like brothers and sisters how much they help. I've always wanted older siblings, so it sort of worked out," he added.

Throughout all of this, everyone agreed that Mrs. Mischello has been a rock for the family on the whole.

"When (Aunt Sandi) was sick, it was my mother ... showing me on a daily basis how to be strong," Yvonne said. "She never let the family fail, she never let the business fail, she never let my aunt know she was scared."

The story of her ownership of Anthony's, and Mischello's Diner, which opened next door in 2007, is yet another example of her courage and determination.

While Mrs. Mischello may have inherited her father's work ethic and entrepreneurial spirit (growing up, she and her siblings helped out with the family business), she admitted that the clothing industry was never her "cup of tea." Rather, after graduating from Old Forge High School, Mrs. Mischello joined the workforce by entering the food service field.

"I loved working in restaurants because it was exciting," she explained. "You meet new people everyday. I knew it was my niche." She worked at several local eateries, including Anthony's on Main Avenue in Old Forge, for nine years as a waitress and cook before it went out of business. Anthony's was eventually rented out to new owners, who refused to hire any of the old staff back, and the business failed again after six months. When the building went back on the market, a friend called Mrs. Mischello to see if she would be interested in taking it over.

Mrs. Mischello called her husband, Pat, to ask what he thought, and he begged her to wait until he got home to discuss it before making a move.

"He didn't want to take on any challenges," she said. But by the time he came home, she had taken the restaurant. "It was pretty rundown," she admitted, "I just rolled the dice."

But the kids were excited, which encouraged Mrs. Mischello. "I think they had some confidence in me. My husband thought I was crazy." Suddenly, her own children were acting as her helpers, serving as bussers in the beginning and working their way up to waiters and bartenders. Christopher has also taken up with the tradition of working at the family business, working as a busser on weekends at Anthony's.

In the beginning, Mrs. Mischello essentially said goodbye to her husband, telling him it would probably be years before she could really slow down from getting the business back on its feet.

"I told him, 'I need to put my heart and soul into this,' and I did." She rented the building for four years, before finally buying it in 2003.

"You go in thinking you know everything," she said. After a beat, she added "You don't know everything. Every day there was a different challenge." And the same could be said for being a mom. Even at the restaurant, Mrs. Mischello finds herself playing the part of the mother hen with everyone, including her nonfamilial staff.

"You take on a lot of roles: banker, psychiatrist ... you listen to everyone and try to take care of their problems."

Her son, Patrick, who continues to help at the restaurant, confirms that the success of the business is the direct result of his mother's dedication.

"The one thing that really takes me back about her ... is how much time, energy and effort she's put in that place to make a better life for her children. It blows my mind how she could put everything aside ... and not take a break. I don't know she does it."

Jessica agreed. "I think she knew it was something she had to do for her family and we needed it to make it. It's amazing ... from where she came from to where she is now, she did all that for us."

But it's not all work and no play for the family. Yvonne described Anthony's as a "second home," where the kids and their friends meet regularly for dinner or drinks. Even the menu boasts different specials named after each of the siblings, including Jimi's Clams and Jennifer's Sampler.

"All the stuff at Anthony's are from things she used to make at home when we were growing up. Even though she has the restaurant now, I feel like that's the kitchen," Yvonne said. "Our house was always like the fort. There were always kids there. It was always the fun place to be. It's the exact same thing as adults at Anthony's."

"It's always an experience when we all get together," Jennifer said. "We have a good dynamic as a group. There's so many of us, so we have so much to talk about, so much to laugh about ... we have a good bond when we're a group."

Jimi agreed that having so many siblings and a pair of loving parents serves a great purpose: "You're never alone in the world. There's always someone you can rely on or relate to or talk to."

His brother Patrick put it this way: "Everybody gets together and whatever problems we may be facing, we forget all about it. It's a net in the Mischello house. It's the warmest feeling ever."

While Mrs. Mischello's love and devotion to her family is doubtless, she has a hard time taking credit for any of the sacrifices she's made in their honor.

"This is just natural for me ... there's no need for any recognition for something I'm doing from my heart," she said.

But her family thinks she deserves more than that.

"We're so proud of her. Everything she's done in her life is absolutely amazing. She sacrificed her dream to raise her family. She took a big risk and she just succeeds," Yvonne said. "She's the backbone of the family, she's the backbone of the restaurant; she's a one-man show.

"She's really something spectacular."

Contact the writer: pwilding@timesshamrock.com

Jessica Mischello's Mother's Day letter

My mother is beyond extraordinary. Mom has worked countless hours to raise us and was able to open up her own restaurant ten years ago. She did this mainly for her children. This past February, my mother's only sister was taken away by lung cancer. My mother has willingly taken on the responsibility of raising her sister's fourteen-year-old son at the age of fifty-three. My mother cares so deeply about her family and hardly ever gets the credit she deserves. She is the glue holding our family together and she remains strong even in times of pain.

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2 posted comments

Anthony's is the best restaurant in Lackawanna County. Eaten there many of times and the service and food quality is the best.