I am really worried about my mental health (19yr old female)

Mon, Jul 14th 2008

I'm 19 and ever since I can remember I have been treading on eggshells with my mum. I didn't have a horrible childhood, my dad's around etc. I have a little sister, 3yrs younger. She has a BAD attitude. I wouldn't dream of talking to the parents the way she does. But I am always polite, have respect, do what I'm told when I'm told yet I always get put down by only my mum, told I'm stupid, always doing everything wrong...(my dad's at work all day). It has ALWAYS been this way for me and I've maintained a mask for 19 years yet I'm beginning to break. I'm still on probation at my first full time job and burst into tears for no reason. I get random suicidal thoughts, I self-harm, I have always been tidy, yet am cleaning everything from top to bottom every day like a psycho. I think I'm developing OCD? Everything has to be perfect and checked a million times. GP visit you think? I have been in a relationship for a year and I don't want it to effect us but my boyfriend is constantly seeing me in tears.

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