Multiple Personalities Support Group

Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...

Dealing with the Internal Perpetrators

I have recently noticed that when I dissociate or space out....get that "stupid, I am not there" feeling as if my brain wasn't there, I am in a memory and trying to avoid hearing the voices inside that were the brainwashing/programming
voices of my perpetrators.
I wanted to sit quitely and hear what they were telling me and so I set aside time to do that.
I actuallly went to my favorite bookstore and found a corner chair and sat there with my journal. I got myself in a safe place mentally and when I felt relaxed and quite I said to myself..."ok, lets notice what they are saying, not judge it and just write it down." I started writing and kept telling myself it was better to
hear it than not and that hearing them and being able to put the words onto paper would help me
not dissociate so much or help me understand better what was happening so I would learn to feel I had more control.
It went very well and I was able to stay calm and in a curious open state with myself.
I then went home and wrote it all down on my computer and emailed it to my counselor as she
keeps all her records on computer and has told me I could do this.
I wish I had thought of doing this sooner but I know things come up when it is safe and a good time to do it...just gotta trust yourself over and over and eventually it all will work out.
love, earthlake

Your post is an inspiring one. We try so hard sometimes to decipher what is being said in our head that we most likely stress out and prevent ourselves from hearing clearly. We had left our path of healing for quite some time and in some ways revictimized ourselves. But we are finally on our healing path once more and starting to face things we have always avoided dealing with. Time for healing is so important.

Taking the time and the energy to listen to what our inside has to say to us is so important. For us it seems to be the only way to really heal. To listen, feel safe, and not judge the memories are all important pieces. Congratulations for knowing that, it isn't easy but worth the effort.

We talked about the being safe in the moment to stop dissociating. But how can I be safe when I attack myself at any moment.
Several months ago I cried about just how much it sux that I am not even safe with myself.
Today I am more aware of the self punishing voices.
I am praying resolving these internal negative voices will help me feel safer and dissociate less.

Just want to remind you wonderful people here that what I did here was just something that works for me at this moment at this time in my recovery. Just because it worked for me now does not mean it will be beneficial for anyone else as there are so many factors that make one thing work for one person and not another.
If you try it and it doesn't bring any kind of peace or makes you feel worse in any way
just let it go and find something that feels safer and works well for you!
love, earthlake

Writing helps us as well, although only a few of us ever do it. It is something that is part of our therapy as well. I am glad that you were able to do something for yourself like that. It is nice to just sit there safely and listen. We like to look at what we wrote a while ago. Soemtimes it gives us a new perspective. Maybe you could try this too.

good morning all,after a couple dozen attempts to get in i made it. don't want this kind of frustration early in the morning, but i love you guys and i need this outlet myself.RJ, so glad you came by yesterday.toni, i wish i'd had your luck with the DMV. i spoke to the nicest woman who really went through everything with me for nearly an hour. i have everything together and said i'd go today, but...

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