DISCLAIMER 2: If you are not into comic book movies and glib one liners it’s probably best to skip this post.

I saw Black Panther on Friday night and Saturday afternoon. I was asleep for half of it on Friday night because I drank too much before the movie and I’m totally wiped on Friday nights (mostly because I am old and out of shape). I thought it was pretty great. In fact, I told my buddy that I thought it would be in my top ten comic book movies of all time. But then I thought: how do I really know that? It’s not like I’ve memorized a ranked list of every comic book based movie I have ever seen.

Anyway, it’s 2018. No one memorizes anything anymore. If it’s not stored in your phone, it’s not gonna happen. So I have decided to produce a ranking of every single comic book based movie that I have seen. The only criteria to be included on this prestigious ranking is that I remember seeing it.

How did I determine which movie nabbed the top spot and which sank to the bottom of the barrel? I have a foolproof methodology that I cannot discuss because it is proprietary. I can assure you that it has generated a flawless and unquestionable ranking.

Who am I to make these grand pronouncements? I present my qualifications: I have spent thousands of dollars and hundreds if not thousands of hours reading comic books, attending comic book conventions, watching movies (both in the theater and rentals at home), reading books that review and analyze comics and/or movies, and even trying my own hand at writing screenplays and comic books (both to pretty disastrous results).

Also it’s my wordpress account party and I’ll cry if I want to. I’ll cry if I want to.

Before I list them, a few caveats:

If the movie ain’t on the list it’s because I don’t remember seeing it. I don’t care if you think it belongs (but feel free to mention it in the comments and I’ll probably check it out).

These are only English language films. I have nothing against foreign films but I just can’t think of a ton of comic book based ones I have seen.

I may or may not comment on each movie on the list. I don’t have a good explanation for this behavior other than my brain does not work so well, I’m lazy and I’ve been drinking.

Ready? Hold on to your butts.

1. Spider-Man 2: Perfect.

2. Logan: Simply soul crushing in the best way possible.

3. Batman Begins: Awesome mostly. Ra’s al Ghul was a boring bad guy in the comic books and he’s also boring in the movies.

4. Iron Man: Stellar.

5. Spider-Man: Homecoming: Not a reboot; a revitalization.

6. Spider-Man: The movie that launched the modern comic movie era.

7. X2: X-Men United: Homo Superior.

8. Kick-Ass: See name of movie.

9. Thor: Ragnarok: There has never been a final installment to a trilogy that completely blew away the previous offerings.

10. X-Men: Days of Future Past: Bryan Singer’s triumphant return.

11. X-Men: Cool.

12. Big Hero 6: Just fantastic.

13. Black Panther: Wakanda forever!

14. Deadpool: Everything I wanted it to be.

15. The Avengers (2012): Unwieldy but pretty much the best it could be.

16. Kick-Ass 2: Still cold kicking it.

17. Hellboy II: The Golden Army: the rare sequel that is more fun than the original.