I blog for many reasons, one of which is to remember. I want to remember the good, the bad, the light and the darkness. I want to remember the days of pain, because pain is never wasted. Never.

The following post is just that. It is me putting down my thoughts about what we are walking right now and what this past month has looked like for our family.My purpose is only to point people to Jesus. To tell His story through our lives.

This picture was taken on the morning of January 7th.

Around 1:30, I received a phone call that I will replay in my head every single day, sometimes several times a day. It’s there when I close my eyes at night. It was the sound of fear and panic, telling me that there was an accident. The call was from my husband.

The weekend was going to be special. My friend, Celia, flew in from Pennsylvania to attend a Plexus event with our team. We had a huge team dinner planned after our event. Mark and Tristyn were heading to the deer lease. She hasn’t been able to go very much this season because of her school and volleyball schedule. They were so excited about their weekend. They were especially looking forward to itbecause they invited friends to join them.

I spent most of my morning visiting with friends, one of which was my best friend, Jana, who was also at the Plexus meeting. It was her husband and two of their daughters who went to the deer lease with Mark and Tristyn.

About 1.5 hours into the meeting, I noticed I had missed a call from my dad and then my husband called. I declined his call because I was in a meeting. My first thought was how odd it was that Mark would call me. He knew I was in a meeting. I began to worry that something might have happened to my elderly grandmother. Why else would my dad andthen Mark call?

I texted Mark to make sure everything was okay.No response. I waited and began to text again. A voicemail came through. My heart dropped. In 25 years, Mark has rarely left me a message. I stepped outside to call him back. When he answered I could tell he was outside. It was loud. His voice was trying to remain calm, but he didn’t sound like himself. Mark is always calm and never wants to rattle me. He is a rock.This was not that kind of call. He was panicked. I heard fear.“Kim, there’s been an accident. Get Jana, and get to our house. Now.” Somewhere in the conversation, he told me that my dad would pick us up to take us to the little town where the deer lease was located. I asked over and over what happened? Was it the girls? Were they alive? But, he didn’t tell me. He was panicked and his voice was starting to yell. In all of my life, I’ve never heard him like that. I remember begging him to tell me if Tristyn was alive. He wouldn’t.

I went back into the meeting, found Jana and we headed out. Jana went to her car and I went to mine.

It was a 30 minute drive from the meeting to my house. It was only by God’s strength that I was able to make the drive. Once I arrived at my house, my dad was waiting for me. It was then that I found out the three girls, Tristyn, Sara and Ally,were in a UTV and were hit by a truck. We didn’t know anything else.

I also found out that instead of heading to the little town, we were heading to Parkland Hospital. Tristyn was being transferred by Careflight. All I could do was pray. My dad drove and I sat next to him and prayed. The drive felt like hours. We didn’t know if Tristyn was alive. We knew nothing. I knew why people went to Parkland. Parkland is one of the best trauma hospitals in the nation. I knew that it had to be horrible if they were taking Tristyn there.

It was during the drive that I got a call from Jana’s sister, Amber, telling me that they were heading to the little town. Oh how my heart leapt. The other girls must be okay. They don’t have to go to Parkland. Then, Amber told me that Ally, Jana’s 16 year old daughter, was gone.A month later I still can’t believe it. To even write those words make me sick.

Now that I look back, I was in shock. I was numb. I’m not sure I was able to process anything. How can a day change so quickly?

We arrived at the hospital before Tristyn. Several people were already there waiting for me. I didn’t know how they knew, but I was thankful for their presence. I knew they were praying. Security took us to a special area-the trauma area.

We waited, still not knowing anything. We didn’t know if Tristyn was alive.

I was torn on focusing and praying for Tristyn and grieving for Jana.

The next several hours were a blur, but the careflight finally landed. She was admitted to the trauma department. The careflight guy told me that she had broken legs, possibly a broken pelvis and internal bleeding. She also had a severe blow to the head. It didn’t matter. She knew her name. She was responsive.

They let me go back to see her for a minute. I’ll never forget walking into a room with my little girl laying on the hospital bed. She looked like Tristyn, but then again, she didn’t. She was covered in blood, dirt, grass, and scrapes. She asked about Sara and Ally. We couldn’t tell her anything. I still didn’t know what happened.

Doctors and nurses were everywhere.They moved so fast, on a mission, while my baby lay on a bed, covered in only blankets and iv’s. Tears slipped out of her eyes a few time, but mostly she was brave and strong. She told me later that she knew I was there but couldn’t see me.

After several hours of X-rays, tests, stitching up her head, they took her into surgery to repair the compound fracture in her right leg. She was in surgery for over 2 hours. The rest of the evening was a blur.

I found out that our girls were in a UTV, when a truck hit them from behind. He never saw them.

We spent the next 24 hours in ICU and the next 9 days in the hospital. I remember crawling into our makeshift bed that night a few feet from Tristyn. I wanted to cry and scream, but nothing came. Mark wouldn’t leave Tristyn’s side. Finally around 2:00 am, I closed my eyes. I think I “slept” 2 hours, waking up to Mark still staring at Tristyn. I understand why. It is a miracle that she is alive.

Here’s my first facebook post that I wrote that morning around 6:00am:

“As I sit here this morning, the fog of yesterday is beginning to lift. They told us to “try” to get some rest, that today we would need it even more. How is that even possible?

How does one mom rejoice when her daughter’s life was spared, when your best friend is grieving the loss of her daughter?

How do you tell your daughter what happened to her friends? How do you move forward when your grief is deeper than anything you’ve ever felt?

How does one morning of laughing with friends turn into this nightmare?

I sit here listening to Tristyn’s breathing and I’m hanging on to each breath. I’ve never been more thankful for that sound. I stare at her face knowing that my baby is there, beneath the swelling, scrapes and bruises. The nights of dance parties in the kitchen and Gilmore Girls marathons seems like it was in another lifetime

We know that bones, bruises, and cuts heal but the emotional trauma and hurt is deeper. Tristyn has the most gentle heart of anyone I know. In the next few days, we will have to tell her things and she may begin to remember. (She has asked but we were instructed to not tell her anything yet.) Please continue to pray. She will learn to walk with broken legs and begin therapy soon. I know they told me of other doctors that she will see, trauma drs and head drs, but I can’t remember.

Friends, thank you for every visit, phone call, message, text and FB post. I’ve read every single one. I cried all night long reading them. Right now, I’m not able to respond. We feel your prayers and we feel loved. I’m not just saying that. We have already seen countless miracles. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

For those of you praying, we ask specifically that you pray:*for Tristyn’s healing, no further surgeries, and no infections*that God would be glorified in our brokenness*that this would draw us even closer to our Savior and point other’s to Jesus. My purpose is always to know Him and make Him known. *for Mark*for the doctors and nurses at Parkland-and wisdom on what is needed for Tristyn*mostly for our precious friends, Steve and Jana, and their family (Emma, Sara, Amber, Jonathon, Connie and Tim) We love them all and wish we could hold them and be with them during this time *for Sara’s complete healing

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Friends, this post is already way too long. I’ll post about the following days in the next post.

I can’t mention all of this without mentioning Ally. I’m not going to share her story or her sister, Sara’s, story (but I will say that Sara, too, is a miracle!) That is for their mom and dad. I will encourage you to search Facebook with the hashtag #AllysLegacy. You will see a young girl, with wonderful parents, who raised her to love Jesus. She lived her life to the fullest and loved Jesus without abandon. You will also find countless stories of people giving their life to Jesus. The world has forever been changed because of Ally. We will miss you.

Our family is doing the Whole 30 and we are almost finished with week one. YAY!!! The weather turned cold here in TX and it even snowed (iced) a bit. Y’all, when I say that it turned cold….it was freezing! I’m not a fan of cold weather and I don’t want to leave my house until spring. Normally on snow days, we will snuggle up by the fire, read a book or watch a movie and eat popcorn. As soon as I saw the snow flurries, my mind turned to my comfort food. Of course, I ignored the craving but isn’t it funny how we associate certain things with comfort food. Oh the struggle….

We have a busy week coming up, so I took that into consideration when planning the menu. Most of our breakfasts are simple. We love eggs and it doesn’t bother us to eat it everyday. Tristyn takes co-op classes so we are on the go several days and our lunches are mainly leftovers. I also plan to utilize my kitchen helpers (Instant Pot and Crock Pot) as much as possible durning the Whole 3o.

Usually, week 1 brings detox symptoms and die-off. If you are struggling with detox symptoms (nausea, exhaustion, headaches, cravings, or crankiness), know that this is normal. Keep going. Make sure you are drinking plenty of water (add lemon), take detox baths, take a good Probiotic, (this one is my favorite), make sure you are eliminating, and get plenty of rest. If you are tired, rest. Let your body recover….and don’t feel guilty about it!!

*This weekend we will be at a volleyball tournament. My girl likes to eat after ever. single.game. We will pack chicken salad because it is plenty of protein, grapes, strawberries, mini-peppers, raw nuts, and RX bars.

I’m using my Insta-stories and Instagram to show what I’m eating and how I cook things. Feel free to follow me here.

Last month, my precious Tristyn turned 15. In true Tristyn fashion, she celebrated with a quiet evening with family and a couple of her Bible study friends. She doesn’t like big parties or being the center of attention. She invited her sisters to spend the night along with her friends. It was nice having all 3 of the girls home, which hasn’t happened in years because of their college schedule. Tori and Chad came in town. This was the first birthday Tori has celebrated with Tristyn in 4 years because of her college volleyball schedule. My mama’s heart was filled up to the tip top!

Tristyn is my summer baby. She loves swimming, riding bikes, and being outdoors. Her nose is sprinkled with the perfect amount of freckles, that she now hides with makeup. She is my right hand, my helper. If she says she will get the house ready for a party or a meeting, I don’t doubt her. She does things with excellence. She’s a chatty introvert. She prefers being at home and loves family with all of her heart. She is easy going and doesn’t get upset too often. She is tenderhearted, gentle, funny and has so much wisdom and discernment for a girl of 15.

I think when you are the baby of the family, you will always be the baby in mama’s heart. I handled her turning 14 like a champ, but for some reason 15 sounds so much older. She will be getting her permit to drive soon. She is now talking about college and what she wants to do when she grows up? What? Can we just stop for a second and catch our breath.

I love to look at each age and see what makes my girl’s heart skip a beat. I asked Tristyn for 15 of her favorite things and here are her answers….not in any particular order.

Jesus

family

Toby (okay, she said Toby first!)

Italian food (then proceeded to name every kind of italian food that fills her heart with joy)

makeup

volleyball

friends

fashion (I added this because she is a fashion queen)

hammocking

nature (she LOVES being outside)

reading (current favorite book is “To Kill a Mockingbird.”)

animals (She wants to rescue all strays. Unfortunately, Mark and I are her parents and we don’t have that kind of heart!0 😉

succulents

hunting

sushi

She made her own cake this year! Four layers….and it was absolutely beautiful.

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”

This summer flew by at record speed. We were able to sneak away to one of our favorite places, Lake Eufaula, a few times this summer.

My husband spent most of his childhood summers at his grandparents’ lake house. He has the very best memories of that place. Anytime we have a few days to get away (which isn’t often enough), this is where he wants to go. Mark’s mother, step-father, and grandmother live in the cabin now. We don’t get to see them as often as we like so it is always nice when we go for a few day to visit.

The cabin is nestled in a cove on Lake Eufaula and has been a part of Mark’s family since the early 70’s. The cabin is beautiful, but my favorite part is getting away from everything. The internet is touch and go and it’s difficult to get phone service, so I make sure to take my bathing suit and a good book!

Tristyn LOVES it. She took her best friend, Summer, this year. They swam, fished, picked wild flowers and blackberries, and road the golf cart ALL DAY LONG. They spent the majority of the days outside…being kids!!

Tristyn and her cousins stayed a week with their Grandparents this summer, too, …and had a blast. I heard they had dessert after every meal….even breakfast! 🙂 Another weekend, Tori and Chad, met us there for a few days. I can’t believe I didn’t get ONE picture of that weekend.

I love the fact that we have “a place” to go to. A place to relax. A place to be with family. A place to create memories that will last a lifetime for our kids, just like their daddy.

I’m sad to see summer end, but I’m thankful for all the wonderful memories we created this summer!

Our first week on the whole 30 was a success! I know my family loves it when I’m on the whole 30 because I actually cook! Ha! And….our meals are AH-Mazing! I have to be prepared when we are doing the whole 30 and plan our meals. It helps me to be more intentional with what I’m eating.

Okay, y’all, if you don’t have an Instant Pot, I highly recommend it. Today, I threw some frozen chicken thighs in it and they were finished cooking in about 20 minutes. Starting in August through October, we have volleyball almost every evening so I plan to use my Instant Pot often. (This is the Instant Pot that I have.)

This week, I stopped by the library to check out some new cookbooks so I could get some fresh ideas. I rarely buy a cookbook unless I look through it first to see if it is worth it! I’m really excited about Gwyneth Paltrow’s book. It isn’t whole 30 or paleo, but I can usually tweak the recipes. I will usually read a cookbook like a book.

Summer can be a crazy busy time of year. I’ve been in and out of town all summer. I sometimes feel that time is like sand slipping through my fingers. My desire is to be intentional with my days, my time, and most importantly, my relationships, but that doesn’t always happen. Often times, my relationship with Mark takes the biggest hit when my schedule is full. After 24 years of marriage, we are aware of the busyness that I fall in to, so we do our best to keep “dating each other” and being intentional with our relationship. Some seasons are better than others.

Tristyn is away at youth camp this week and while we miss her so much and love being with our kids, we are also excited about a week of just “us!” We’ve learned over the years that we must take care of our marriage. It makes us much better parents. And guess what? One day, it will just be you and your spouse (and that day will come sooner than you think.) Make sure that you enjoy being together so one day when it’s just the two of you, you don’t look at each other and wonder who did I marry!?!

For one of our dates this week, we both took the day off and road-tripped to Waco, TX. (That’s the gift of both of us being self employed!)

Our first stop was at Czech Stop. I’d never been before but all of their pastries are homemade. Apparently I’m the only one who had never heard of this place!! It was packed.

Then we drove on to Waco to visit Magnolia Market. The grounds at Magnolia were absolutely beautiful! We loved the store, but it wasn’t as big as I thought it would be! We did pick up a few things.

My favorite area was the garden area. It is my dream to have an area similar to this at our home.

This herb garden was MY FAVORITE!! I need this in my life!

Magnolia has an area with food trucks, lots of tables to eat and also an area for outdoor activities for the kids play. The new bakery just opened but the line was out the door and it was HOT so we didn’t wait.

After we left Magnolia, we had lunch Health Camp. Don’t let the name fool you….it wasn’t healthy, but the burgers were great! We went to the Suspension Bridge, walked around for a bit and then hit a few more shops before heading home. We had such an amazing day just being together and it was much needed for the both of us! (Feel free to follow me on Instagram to see what else we do this week!)

Lately, I’ve been thinking about blogs. I still love them. Am I the only one? I still check in on my favorites often. When I started my blog over 6 years ago, I had planned on doing a lot of DIY projects and recipes. Now, this place has more evolved into my journal….or even a scrapbook of my life with projects and recipes sprinkled in.

Life has been so busy lately that sitting down to write seems like the farthest thing from my mind. Actually, I have sat down to blog a few times this year….and nothing. My mind was blank. I had nothing to write. I tried to think of a few things…but still nothing, so I let it go. Well, the last few weeks have been different. I felt the Lord prompting me to start blogging again. He’s awakening a somewhat dry area again. I’m not sure what that looks like yet…and I don’t want to over promise and then under deliver, because then I would just feel guilt on something that should bring me joy. But I know that something is happening. He’s drawing me to a place to begin sharing again…my life and also my story, both past and present.

I’m excited to share with you all the things that have happened lately. We have been so busy living life to the fullest. We are still gardening, eating clean. homeschooling, and have several house projects coming up, in addition to lots of trips. I’ll blog as often as I can, but in the meantime you are welcome to visit me on Instagram or on Facebook. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those of you who are still around. Your emails and messages bless me so much.

As a homeschooler, when school is out for the summer, life isn’t as drastic of a change as someone who has been going to school and now they get to stay home all summer. We just fall into our normal routine except we don’t do school work. As the middle of June rolled around I started to panic that summer was slipping away. Tristyn and I spend a lot of time together. We cook together, we clean together, we read together, we organize the house together and we run errands together. I don’t want her to only remember that we “worked” together. I do not have many summers left with her so I want to capture the time we have.

I grabbed a piece of graph paper (because it had lines and I can’t write straight!) and quickly made a summer bucket list. (Remember this one from 2013 and this one from 2012.) This year it is simple because that is how I want our summer.

I listed things that we both enjoy. She loves to cook, so we plan on doing a lot of things in the kitchen such as make dog treats and paleo popsicles. We also plan on perfecting the perfect paleo pie, but we didn’t write that down yet! I listed donuts, which is really a big deal around here. I plan on taking her one morning for donuts, which is a very rare treat. We are still adding to the list as we think of ideas.

The goal was to make sure my days are intentional with her. I have a tendency to get caught up cleaning, organizing, redecorating the house or working my plexus business and when I finish the day is gone. I love having a list that will help up schedule days to do something different and enjoy our summer together.

We decided to do something different for Memorial Day this year. We have some precious friends who asked us to join them in Colorado. We jumped at the chance!

We found the most amazing cabin and booked it for the weekend. As we were getting ready to go I kept watching the weather in Colorado….cold and rainy. I was discouraged, to say the least, that we were driving from Texas to Colorado to sit in a cabin. I’m not a fan of cold weather. This girl is 100% Texan and I love the heat. We kept praying the Lord would bless our weekend and keep the rain away so we could hike in the mountains at least once!

Our first stop was Amarillo, which is where our friends live. We hiked Palo Duro Canyon while they were at work. It was my first “real” hiking experience and I’m hooked!

(get ready for way too many pictures….)

After we hiked Palo Duro, we repacked our car and headed to Colorado. We drove through pouring down rain. It was a crazy drive. We couldn’t see anything because of the rain. When we got to the cabin, it was snowing so hard. I couldn’t believe that we drove all the way to Colorado to sit in the cabin!

And then we woke up to this…..

I was amazed at the beauty of the snow.

Then the sun came out and we saw the mountains surrounding our place!

We spent our days hiking, fishing, laughing, and just being outdoors taking in all of God’s creation. We hiked through the deepest snow I’ve ever seen. It would snow every day, but it wasn’t even that cold. We would drive 20 minutes and the weather would be sunny and gorgeous! I couldn’t get enough of the beauty. It may sound silly, but to be on the top of a mountain, you just feel so close to the Lord. I couldn’t get praise songs out of my head. The whole earth is truly filled with His glory. He is truly majestic!

“He who forms the mountains, who creates the wind, and who reveals his thoughts to mankind, who turns dawn to darkness, and treads on the heights of the earth– the LORD God Almighty is his name. ” Amos 4:18

We spent our nights talking, playing cards, going on drives, making supper and just being together.

Our time away was amazing. We had no internet and I could barely get on Facebook, then we were completely out of network so no phone access at all. I LOVED it! It was a gift to be able to share time with our precious friends who are full of gratitude and love the Lord like we do. We came home refreshed and renewed….but we have already started planning our next trip.

Another round of Whole 30 is going on at my house. Have I mentioned that I love it? My body loves it. I’ve learned to embrace eating what works with my body. Grains and sugar don’t work. My body swells….and lots of other things happen with my body that I will spare you the details. If you are eating clean, make sure you stick with it for 30 days so you know how your body feels. It takes 2 weeks for grains to leave your body.

Towards the end of last year, I rarely cooked, which caused us to eat out way too often. I was burned out on eating clean and cooking. Well, since I need to eat this way, I knew I needed to make some changes.

Here are a few things I did to find my love of cooking clean again:

1. I’ve made sure my fridge is stocked with lots of veggies, eggs, and meats. I add a variety of veggies each week instead of the same ones, which can get boring. Try new vegetables like turnips, brussel sprouts, asparagus, eggplant, kale and cauliflower.

2. I make sure I have things in my pantry so I can bake if I want to and also if I need to throw a quick meal together. I make sure I’m stocked with chicken stock, coconut flour, almond flour, canned tomatoes, crushed tomatoes, coconut creme, and coconut milk. Also, try new spices.

3. I plan ahead with my menus to give me time to go to the grocery store.

4. I add 1-2 new recipes each week and also try new vegetables.

5. I have a group of friends who share ideas and hold each other accountable. I love my plexus team!!

6. Soups!!! I’ve loved making soups this winter. I was never a soup person growing up, but I’ve loved learning to make new soups and stews.

Okay, now for my weekly menu. Guys, it’s FREEEZING here in North Texas. I was telling Mark today how blessed we are to have a warm home and a fridge and pantry full of food. I don’t think I will ever take it for granted.