月曜日, 9月 10

Had I known that a Photographer
could read my Emotions
through a flickering of the eyes,
a curving of the lips,
a sigh of contentment or frustration.
A instant critique of my person
such as he captures on film...
Immediate, certain, and captured.
Had I known of this curious trade.
Had I known.

木曜日, 8月 9

How do we rebuild Lost Communities from generations of societal formation that has pushed 'individualism is supreme', one must be capable on their own to be successful, and fear in creating ties with your neighbor, your community, your lifeline?

"Everywhere I go,
people tell me that community is what’s missing most from their lives.
What happened to it is that community got converted into money. I
mentioned how gifts create ties, they create a bond. If you live a
highly monetized life, there are no gifts, there are no bonds. You don’t
need anybody. So we had our neighborhood mixer and everybody knew, “I
don’t need you.” Unlike an Amish community where you need people – if
your house burns down you need them to help you rebuild your house. Now
we pay for that kind of community support. It’s called insurance."

...

"Maybe some of you
would like to get rich, so let me tell you a business plan that’s worked
for thousands of years. What you do is you find something that people
do for themselves, and you take it away from them. Or you find something
that people get from nature, and you take it away from them. And then,
you sell it back. So for example, you can pollute the water and then
sell bottled water. Or you can scare people into not drinking the water,
or you can add chlorine to it, and sell them filters. This isn’t
something that people consciously are doing, but you can create a
climate in which people are afraid to send their children outdoors and
value safety above all else. And then, children can’t have adventures
anymore."

水曜日, 9月 7

金曜日, 4月 1

With fingers weary and worn,With eyelids heavy and red,A woman sat, in unwomanly rags,Plying her needle and thread —Stitch! stitch! stitch!In poverty, hunger, and dirt,And still with a voice of dolorous pitchShe sang the "Song of the Shirt."

"Work! work! work!While the cock is crowing aloof! And work — work — work,Till the stars shine through the roof!It's Oh! to be a slaveAlong with the barbarous Turk,Where woman has never a soul to save, If this is Christian work!

"Work — work — work,Till the brain begins to swim;Work — work — work,Till the eyes are heavy and dim!Seam, and gusset, and band, Band, and gusset, and seam,Till over the buttons I fall asleep,And sew them on in a dream!

"Oh, Men, with Sisters dear!Oh, men, with Mothers and Wives!It is not linen you're wearing out,But human creatures' lives!Stitch — stitch — stitch,In poverty, hunger and dirt, 30 Sewing at once, with a double thread,A Shroud as well as a Shirt.

"But why do I talk of Death?That Phantom of grisly bone,I hardly fear its terrible shape,It seems so like my own —It seems so like my own,Because of the fasts I keep;Oh, God! that bread should be so dearAnd flesh and blood so cheap!

"Work — work — work!My labour never flags;And what are its wages? A bed of straw,A crust of bread — and rags.That shattered roof — this naked floor —A table — a broken chair —And a wall so blank, my shadow I thankFor sometimes falling there!

"Work — work — work!From weary chime to chime, Work — work — work,As prisoners work for crime!Band, and gusset, and seam,Seam, and gusset, and band,Till the heart is sick, and the brain benumbed,As well as the weary hand.

"Work — work — work,In the dull December light,And work — work — work,When the weather is warm and bright — While underneath the eavesThe brooding swallows clingAs if to show me their sunny backsAnd twit me with the spring.

"Oh! but to breathe the breathOf the cowslip and primrose sweet —With the sky above my head,And the grass beneath my feet;For only one short hourTo feel as I used to feel, Before I knew the woes of wantAnd the walk that costs a meal!

"Oh! but for one short hour!A respite however brief!No blessed leisure for Love or Hope,But only time for Grief!A little weeping would ease my heart,But in their briny bedMy tears must stop, for every dropHinders needle and thread!"

With fingers weary and worn,With eyelids heavy and red,A woman sat in unwomanly rags,Plying her needle and thread —

Stitch! stitch! stitch!In poverty, hunger, and dirt,And still with a voice of dolorous pitch, —Would that its tone could reach the Rich! —She sang this "Song of the Shirt!"

火曜日, 3月 8

Hymns, glorious incantations to God...'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,And when we find ourselves in the place just right,'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.When true simplicity is gain'd,To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,To turn, turn will be our delight'Till by turning, turning we come round right.

火曜日, 4月 20

the person you expect.expectations.so i was not perfectenoughto fit your every need,you with more expectations,more criticisms of not my own inward struggle.aren't unmet expectations saying,not good enough?what do you expect?with too many expectations.

火曜日, 3月 23

i thought oncewas enough,but once only comes one time.twice or thrice.bridging the gap in time.time that it takesto hold back that anger,that fleeting memory,that once there was love.twice or thrice.wouldn't it be nice?

月曜日, 7月 14

In that placewhere dreams overtook me,and fought within me,under the covers, under my pillowthis song haunts me,rich, powerful, distraught patience.I'm reminded there is a differencebetween "toughness" and"strength."I am both.Together.One.

Regina Spektor, "Samson"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p62rfWxs6a8(Samson means "of the Sun" & was a Herculean figure, who is granted tremendous strength through the Spirit of the Lord to combat his enemies and perform heroic feats unachievable by ordinary men.)

日曜日, 7月 13

Forever is like a moment that stretches unseeingly into the hazy future. How does Forever decide that Now isn't enough, can Now be part of Forever? Does my Forever end with the Forevers in another's life, or will my Forever continue long into the future-- forever? Forever seems so permanent, stable, terrifyingly distant-- exhilarating. Is God the only source of Forever? My path stretches forever before me, God is Forever with me, I can't change parts of me to be Forever, it's what already exists in me that is Forever...

From Wave Watcher by Craig Johnson (my 9th grade soccer coach & encourager of life's experiences): "Forever" is an important word in my family. We use it only when we mean it, and it can mean so many things. I've learned a lot about the word this year by reading a few of my father's love letters to my mother. Dad always signs his notes with a stroke that reads "Forever." In turn, Mom signs her notes "Sempre"-- that's Portuguese for "forever." Recently, I've learned how so many things are forever.

水曜日, 7月 2

"Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer,some distant day."-Rainer Maria Rilke

For years this quote has very likely beenthe answer to many of my questions.Not so much answers,but sentiments allowing meto continue on God's path.I like the thoughtof distant days.I like the thoughtof livingin the present.I don't like the thoughtof living in thepast...except as incentive toenjoy today,now,forever,and tomorrow,today.

木曜日, 5月 22

so this summer i decided i'd bike to work every day. this might not seem like such a challenge in the bike-filled asian countries, or the hot-paved streets of new york. but in little manhattan, ks, the city isn't planned to accommodate, get this, a bike. 3 miles across town. 730am. several pot holes later, i cross the mammoth 4-laner + turn lanes. passing by the local wal-mart, sonic, quiznos, big bumbling trucks, gas $3.79, waiting at the light. i'm in the turn lane. sweet love, the straight-away is all mine. on my bike. in manhattan.

火曜日, 12月 25

Many of you are blessed with innumerable family traditions during this holiday period. The Conyer's have a Swedish tea ring breakfast, The Elliot's- sushi at midnight w/ root beer floats, others gather around the tree, Christmas Eve services, hot chocolate, enjoying each other's company. For many reasons, I have a hard time enjoying Christmas time. I would rather not have to be dealing with old problems, family silences, overlooked words and stifling feelings. Today there are no presents or a happily-lit tree. Perhaps it's even harder to see other's families who at least appear to have a sense of togetherness.

However because I've been able to experience so many wonderful places and friends, I've always been included in celebrating with others and I have a clearer view of what joy, thanksgiving, and love should look like during this season. I suppose over the years I've also amassed many traditions that I hope to have with my own family and friends.

So my hope, joy, and thankfulness comes from so many people who make this time special for me. Myron's family- for the salmon Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas Eve service w/ Althea at the Lutheran church, pizza and the Hairspray musical at the Reynold's, coffee and a bagel w/ my mum and making pies w/ her, helping at the Christmas community dinner, Meagan- wine and The Office, helping Amy and Emma wrap presents, visiting w/ Jess at her store... I have so many friends for which to be grateful, God does provide His love in ways we don't even realize.

So my own traditions... what will they be? Well for a start: Cinnamon rolls, Mexican hot chocolate, reading my favourite "Peace Begins with You" book, Midnight Service, making cookies to decorate the tree, serving at the community dinner, and so many others... but especially seeking out other friends who may not know that Christmas can be a very special time of sharing God's love and life, even if you have to walk through the valley of shadow and death to see it.

月曜日, 12月 17

So it seems like eons since I've posted on my account... it has been. I thought I'd give that Facebook thing a go, but it wasn't for me!!! I couldn't say anything meaningful on it like I can here. And I think it just sucks you into distractions... I have ENOUGH of that in life, right?

God has been working miracles in my life since June 2006 when I last logged on here. I also have been running from God at times as well. Running and not even realizing it, 'cuz I didn't wanna face what He had to say. So I tried the good old diversion tactics, not good. Recently, I found myself standing smack dab in front of Him, but the good thing was... I didn't wanna run this time. I just waited for His embrace, which He gave undeservedly.

So what does all this mean? I don't exactly know. But I can say I feel so much better waking up in the morning having Him to talk to. My Bible is FULL of lovely highlights, notes, and wisdom that somehow I temporarily forgot, or only listened to when I wanted, and now I feel like diving back in and knowing more. To me that is the nature of life and spirituality... to go through peaks and valleys, but to always end up on top-- a renewed spirit. And the top is a bit higher each time, like you gain just a bit more understanding of life and your innerself.

金曜日, 6月 23

Ok, well there's no way that I can recount all the different adventures that my mother and I had....so I'll just let you enjoy a part of our days during her trip here. She mastered the "doomo" or thanks in Japanese. So much in fact that she kindly told a little girl at the park "doomo" instead of "konnichiwa". But regardless of that....she moved onto the more formal thank you, "arigatou". However, this one never came out so well...it was always "aribato". This caused many chuckles by me and probably some confusion to the receiver of the thanks. We then tried to move on the very formal thank you very much, "arigatou gozaimasu". This one never went down. But I love my mum and all the great memories we had together...she was definitely a up for doing anything and everything. I think what she enjoyed most, though, was just being my mom (and I treasured up being her daughter ^_^)!!

土曜日, 6月 10

I spent Thursday running down to pick up my mum from Tokyo... it began at 5:00am with a one-hour drive to AomoriCity. Then a 4-hour train ride to Tokyo Station. As recommended by Steph, I diverted my time there cruising around the grounds of the ImperialPalace. As the gates and bridges were well-guarded and closed to the public, there was no means for me to scale the rock walls and cross the moat...but it was amusing never-the-less.

God blessed me with a wonderful mother and she arrived safe and sound with luggage in tow. We also had many more miracles in the travel back home...besides lugging 2 massive suitcases (not what I would recommend in Japan), we made a 10-minute transfer in Tokyo Station to the shinkansen. I would have loved to get the look on our faces when we spied the 2-stories of steps we had to carry her luggage up...but the happy ride back up north made it all worth it. She's one brave traveler...and so cute when she says "どうも" or "thanks" with her little practiced bow ^_^! To be continued....