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FAPNQ

Posted on July 13, 2010

I’ll be hearing from the EWTFJA Society (Enough With the FAQ Jokes, Already) but this stands for Frequently Asked Preview Night Questions. We have this preview night from 4 P.M. to 8 P.M. on Wednesday of Book Fair Week (July 28 this year) for Associates. Associates are the sterling citizens who donate money to the Newberry; people who donate $100 or more get invited to this Preview. I think that’s fairly simple, but here are the rules.

HOW WILL YOU KNOW I’M AN ASSOCIATE?

You’ll have your Associate’s card or the invitation we sent you.

WHEN CAN I GET IN LINE?

At 3 P.M. Wednesday July 28th.

DIDN’T YOU WRITE THAT SOME PEOPLE GET THERE AT 3 A.M.?

Okay, this is important. You may walk into the Library at any old time after 7:30 A.M., show your Associates’ card or your invitation, and GET A TICKET. This ticket will give your number in line. You will then GO AWAY until 3 P.M. We’ll have a line monitor outside to keep you in the right order, though usually our Wednesday night customers are pretty cheerful about policing themselves. (There was that incident…but no, that’s water under the bridge and he probably didn’t really have a knife on him anyhow.) The line forms at the bottom of the stairs, out on the sidewalk, and forms to your left if you’re facing the doors.

IF I COME AT 4:15, DO I STILL NEED TO STOP AND GET A TICKET?

No, the ticket is just for those people who want to get in at 4. It is actually less hassle to come after the line has moved in but where’s your competitive spirit? We’re talking AUTOGRAPHED Nora Roberts paperbacks here!

IF I HAVE AN ASSOCIATES’ CARD, CAN I BRING MY HUSBAND/BROTHER-IN-LAW/DAUGHTER/GRANDDAUGHTER’S DOG IN ON THE SAME CARD?

Our rules allow that card to include one (1) Significant Other. (If you can afford more than one, you should be able to afford another donation.) Infants are allowed. We used to say “children” but some of those children were old enough to vote and held down full-time jobs as booksellers. I suggested “babes in arms” as an alternative, and was referred to my own rule about significant others. It’s rough having a reputation for puns.

IF I’M NOT AN ASSOCIATE AT THE $100 LEVEL, CAN I STILL SEND THE MONEY NOW?

You can do that online, if you feel we’re getting too close to the date to trust the Post Office to get a check here in time. You will be able to pay in person at the library even on July 28. (If you wait until the 28th, it will slow you down and someone else will get all the signed Nora Roberts books before you do.)

CAN I HANG AROUND AND JUST LOOK AT THE BOOKS BEFORE 4 P.M. IF I PROMISE NOT TO BUY ANYTHING?

Get out on the sidewalk with everyone else, rhubarb meringue pie.

WHAT IF I REALLY, REALLY LOVE BOOKS AND DON’T WANT TO DONATE $100 OR MORE?

The line forms outside on the sidewalk at 8 A.M. Thursday morning, and the door opens at noon. Don’t worry. There’ll be books left, probably even a few of the Nora Robertseses. If all the books ARE, by some miracle, sold on Wednesday night, you will be able to tell by the piles of champagne corks all over the front steps.

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