Smasher Girl

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Monday, February 13, 2012

when i go back and read the first few posts in this blog i realize how much i have changed. i hardly remember that girl any more. sure we still have many of the same struggles, bad habits, hopes, and dreams... but when i stop and think "who is smasher girl" all the answers are in the past tense. the real question is "who WAS smasher girl"...

for me, a lot of things. mostly she was the "crazy diet girl" part of me. i have loved writing this blog and getting great feedback and ideas. but i have out grown it. so, this will be my last post.

i am still out there in Blog Land.... but with a new name and a new face (or lack there of). its a fresh start.....which both smasher girl and i are very big fans of. and all the newness feels a lot more like me.

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning. ~Ivy Baker Priest

im sure we will bump shoulders out there in the blogospher. until then.....

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

there was way to much candy laying around where i work. so i decided to get rid of it. by shoving it into my face.

all the people i work with are thin. and yet, they MUST have candy. every day. this made me start thinking about people and food. my thin friends eat whatever they want. chips, cheeseburgers, cake.....so why cant i? when i indulge in that stuff i dont just stay the same weight. i GAIN weight. so what is the difference?

do they burn more calories than i do? these friends dont work out or go to the gym....so are they just more active in their daily life? do they take the stairs instead of the elevator? is that really enough to compensate for the cheetos and hersheys?

or is it just that when they indulge they are satisfied after only about 200 cals worth of junk? i am never satisfied with just a little junk. ever. never ever. its hard not to get angry about this. i want to be able to indulge, be satisfied, and be thin! my landslide into self-pity is surely triggered by the fact that this whole month will be a complete write off. i will end this month the same weight as i ended last month. losing weight is hard.

so is being fat. what would i rather have a "hard time" doing? losing weight or being fat? if anything was ever *worth it* it is this. losing weight is worth it. i have to keep going. although this month was a wash when it comes to the scale, there were some pretty great things that happened.

first, i discovered the wonders of steel cut oats. they have a ton of fiber and protein. they are so easy to make and keep well in the fridge or freezer. and i cook them in the crock-pot! i have made apple cinnamon steel cut oats, cranberry walnut steel cut oats, and pumpkin pie steel cut oats. you cook them all exactly the same.

STEEL CUT OATS:

1. coat a crock pot with cooking spray.

2. dump all the ingredients (EXCEPT THE TOPPINGS) into the crock-pot and stir.

3. cover and cook on low 6 hours.

4. turn off the crock-pot and let cool 1 hour.

5. stir up the oats and put into individual (1 cup) containers.

6. sprinkle on the toppings.

7. freeze or refrigerate. when you are ready to eat, just nuke them in the microwave.

these are the ingredients for the various types i have made and loved. they all make about 12 1-cup servings.

Topping: 1 tsp chopped pecans & maybe a little truvia if you like it sweeter.

another super great thing that happened is that my husband got this amazing idea. he would cook one night a week. he doesnt cook. never. not ever. but on wednesday night, there we were....sitting on the couch covered in cookbooks. i tagged a few healthy & easy recipes and he flipped through them looking for one he wanted to try. he picked orange chicken. it was one of the more difficult recipes. i was fully prepared for a disaster and was making a mental list of the "healthiest" fast-food options in case dinner was a total bust.

sunday night, he stepped into the kitchen, prepped all his ingredients ahead of time, and then got to work. i gave him a little space and watched from a safe distance. he was measuring, slicing, chopping....grabbing oranges from the fruit bowl and then playfully tossing them from one hand to another...umm....what was happening? was he having fun? then about an hour later i was lying on the couch watching black beauty (i love me some horse movies!) and dinner was being cooked for me. i cant remember the last time this has happened. i was loving it! and then....an unmistakable smell entered the living room....and it wasnt the smell of smoke that i had kinda been expecting....it was the smell of *deliciousness*....and thats the first time it crossed my mind that dinner might actually be edible.

i took a bite....it was AMAZING. my husband...is....a....good....COOK! i looked up at him and he was smiling. he knew he had rocked it. with his eyes still squinted by his grin he said, "that was fun", winked at me, and took a big bite.

Monday, January 16, 2012

i have posted a few times about the scary things in my gym. such as satan's simon-says game and the dungeon. each time i conquered my fears and tried something scary it felt great. even if the "during" felt horrible. even if i would never do it again. i made a personal goal to hack my way through the jungle that is my gym and tackle all the scary looming things that make me want to head for the closest emergency exit.

this thing terrifies me.

i didnt even know this was a Vertical Knee Raise until i typed "weird knee lifting ab machine" into google images and that picture showed up... along with this picture. really?

all i knew was this thing was SCARY. but i didnt let that stop me. i climbed up....put my arms on the pads....grabbed the handles.... looked around to see if anyone was watching the fat girl on the crazy contraption.....and lifted my knees up...FOUR times. this was sooo much better than i had expected. suddenly i realized my heartbeat was WAY louder than usual. and everything got blurry. and then really hot. and then i realized what was about to happen.

here's the thing about smasher girl. she's a fainter. its horrible. the first time it ever happened was when i was about 25. its the worst feeling. i can always tell when its going to happen. but it usually only happens after i have my blood drawn or when i am in extreme pain. it is NOT a common occurrence. it certainly hasnt ever happened for for no reason and never when i am exercising. so why was this thing making me feel faint??

i climbed down and laid on a mat. breathe in..breathe out. i didnt faint. ended up being fine and wrote the whole thing off as me being melodramatic...cuz here's another thing about smasher girl....she is melodramatic.

the next time i was at the gym i figured i would add it to my ab routine. even if i could only do 4 of them. after the first one...it happened again. i almost fainted. i jumped back on google to see if this is a side effect of the vertical knee raise. nope. nothing. maybe im forgetting to breathe??? either way. i think i will try it one more time before crossing it off my list.

it did give me a good "my abs are working" feeling. and besides the whole making-me-want-to-pass-out thing, it wasnt so scary after all!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

what could be easier than walking right? my walking skills stopped wowing people after my 2nd birthday. one foot in front of the other. i can even do it and chew gum at the same time!

this is why the idea of TRAINING to WALK never occurred to me. all that time i spent looking for a training program to teach me to RUN was silly! i should have been looking for a training program to teach me to WALK. i feel like one of Maleficent's goons who were looking in cradles trying to find a 16 year old Sleeping Beauty. (silly evil henchmen)

i googled "train to walk a 5k" and there was a bunch of information. if you actually care about the details, you can read all about it here. this is it in a very large nutshell.

WALK A 5K TRAINING PROGRAM:

Week 1: Getting Started

15 min walk at easy pace (5 days a week)

Week 2: Work On Your Walking Form

20 min walk at easy pace (5 days a week)

Use your walks this week to concentrate on developing good walking posture and technique. This can greatly improve your ease of walking and improve your speed.Walking Form Technique for Beginners

Week 3: Walk at a Moderate Pace

25 min walk at moderate, determined pace (5 days a week)

"moderate pace" means:

may be breathing noticeably

able to carry on a full conversation while walking

not out of breath

Week 4: Add a Long Day

30 min at moderate pace (4 days a week)

40 min at easy pace (1 day a week)

Drinking right: Now that you are walking for more than 30 minutes, you should locate a source of water so you can have a drink each mile. If there are no handy drinking fountains, you may want to carry water with you. It is best to carry it in a fanny pack with a water holster, rather than carrying a bottle in your hand, as that can lead to muscle strain and poor walking form.

Week 5: Work on Speed

30 min at moderate pace (4 days a week)

45 min at easy pace (1 day a week)Concentrate on improving your walking form to add speed. If you have not been using arm motion, this can be the key to increasing speed. Fast Walking Technique

Week 6: Build Mileage

30 min at moderate pace (4 days a week)60 min at easy pace (1 day a week)

Monday, January 9, 2012

my gym has a lot of scary things in it. im not talking about the beefy guys with seemingly way more veins than normal. i mean terrifying machines and classes. there is a huge list of cardio and weight machines that i wont go near. and a ton of classes i am way too chicken to step foot in. i decided to conquer my fear. to get my feet wet, i thought i would try yoga.

easy enough, right? relaxing. not a lot of moving. my gym turns the lights out during yoga so no one would even be able to see if when i messed up. how bad could it really be?

worse. way worse. it started off easy enough. i stood obediently in the dark, crowded room on my mat and followed each of the instructions given by the woman with a soothing alto voice. "sit pretzel legged"....."put your palms face up"....."lay on your back and breathe"...."acknowledge your fingers and toes"...."breathe in"..."breathe out"

i lay there breathing and thought of renaming my blog to "Yogi Girl"...i had this in the bag.

the changes were subtle. the instructors voice was still calm and soothing. but it was forming words into absurd commands. "lay on your belly"...."bring one foot up under your chin"...."stand up and look behind you"...."bend over at the waist"...."rest on your forearms"...."put your head on the floor"...."pick your feet up off the floor"

say, what??? i looked up to see the instructor in this position...

i wanted to go back to acknowledging my fingers and toes! when had this class turned into a simon says game from hell???

i looked around the room for my mom who had come with me...my gaze finally found her...still sitting pretzel legged on her mat. i figured she was on to something. i unfolded myself and plopped on my mat. i sat like that for the next 15 minutes until the class ended.

im glad i tried it though. now i can cross it off my list. the next time some one asks if i have tried yoga, i can smile and say, "yes."

im down 4 lb this week. i am very happy about that but kicking myself for last week. since i gained 4.4 lb last week, i am still up 0.4 lb. thats part of the fine print of going crazy for a week. you dont just lose one week you lose at least 2....the one week you spent gaining and the one week you spend trying to lose it again.