Day September 24, 2010

And let’s be clear: that’s 3.6% only on income above 250 grand — your first 250, that’s still on the house. Now, this week we got some horrible news: that one in seven Americans are now living below the poverty line. But I want to point you to an American who is truly suffering: Ben Stein. You know Ben Stein, the guy who got rich because when he talks it sounds so boring it’s actually funny. He had a game show on Comedy Central, does eye drop commercials, doesn’t believe in evolution? Yeah, that asshole. I kid Ben — so, the other day Ben wrote an article about his struggle. His struggle as a wealthy person facing the prospect of a slightly higher marginal tax rate. Specifically, Ben said that when he was finished paying taxes and his agents, he was left with only 35 cents for every dollar he earned. Which is shocking, Ben Stein has an agent? I didn’t know Broadway Danny Rose was still working.

Ben whines in his article about how he’s worked for every dollar he has — if by work you mean saying the word “Bueller” in a movie 25 years ago. Which doesn’t bother me in the slightest, it’s just that at a time when people in America are desperate and you’re raking in the bucks promoting some sleazy Free Credit Score dot-com… maybe you shouldn’t be asking us for sympathy. Instead, you should be down on your knees thanking God and/or Ronald Reagan that you were lucky enough to be born in a country where a useless schmuck who contributes absolutely nothing to society can somehow manage to find himself in the top marginal tax bracket.

4. Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice. —Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude (1967; trans. Gregory Rabassa)

Faced with the inescapable fact that he is one of the two most effective mouthpieces for the progressive political agenda in the nation, comedian Stephen Colbert testified before the House Immigration and Agriculture subcommittee today in support of the legalization of undocumented agriculture workers.

It was weird. John Conyers initially asked Colbert to leave, but hearing chair Zoe Lofgren allowed him to stay. Colbert’s prepared testimony was funny, but fell flat before an audience of self-serious old legislators. “Apparently, even the invisible hand doesn’t want to pick beans.”

His comedic argument: Legalizing farmworkers would lead to less exploitation, making their jobs more attractive to Americans.