Our family's holiday traditions include: nightly panic over conjuring surprises for the 24 tiny drawers in my kids' advent box, sending holiday postcards weeks after Christmas to a random one-third of the folks we love -- and answering queries from family and friends about holiday gifts for Leo, our ten-year-old son with autism.

I am quietly freaking out over those first two, but thoughtful questions about appropriate gifts for Leo -- I appreciate those, so much. While finding presents that appeal to my son can be tricky, I've become a pro at it and make suggestions with confidence. Here's my advice for parents, grandparents, aunties, caregivers, godparents or friends looking for a great gift for kids with special needs.

Don't get derailed by age ranges on toy labels, because they don't always apply. One of Leo's all-time favorite toys is a Flip Flop Egg Drop sorting tower that also instantly distracts all visiting adults -- yet the box says it's for 18-month-olds.

Try to focus on the child's interests, on what they actually like to do -- this is where interrogating the kid's parents comes in. Leo's auntie know he enjoys winding things up, so she gifted him an emergency flashlight with a crank handle, and he's in heaven. My boy also adores music, but he's better at humming than singing -- so I got him a bag of plastic kazoos. Now he always has a kazoo on hand, and I don't have to worry if one gets broken or lost. He likes to color, but get gets frustrated because his fine-motor skills make staying in the lines difficult -- so we got him dot stamp painters, and the walls of his room now festooned with colorful creations that make him proud.

With these guidelines in mind, here are some specific gift suggestions:

Unfortunately, special needs-specific gear can be expensive, e.g., Leo's path cost $200 and was a gift from a generous relative. But you can find equivalents to special needs and therapeutic toys in unexpected places. One of Leo's occupational therapists rarely pays full price for her balance, strength-building, and sensory gear, because she can usually find what she needs in the pilates and yoga sections at overstock outlets like TJ Maxx and Ross. And the best therapy balance ball I've ever found Leo was a $29 Sta-Ball from Target rather than the same-size $79 version from a specialty company.

You can also make toys and gear. Leo is a fan of sensory bins, which are containers filled with dried rice, beans, or other materials that Leo can plunge his hands into, spend time pouring or fiddling with, or in which we can hide small toys for him to find. And instead of buying Leo pre-made weighted pillows or vests -- the latter being particularly problematic since he grows so fast -- we get cheap pillows, and vests with pockets, filled them with (again) dried rice or beans, and sew the pillow and pockets shut. If you've got handy on tap, you can also make home versions of swings, balance beams, etc. -- don't be afraid to harness your inner MacGyver.

Audio books are one of my favorite gifts for Leo and his friends, as listening to them is something our families can while spending all that time driving between home, school, and therapy appointments. I also love audio books for Leo because, honestly, we can't always accurately gauge his understanding or comprehension, and audiobooks give him the benefit of the doubt. They let him listen to stories without the pressure of having to "listen to Mommy" or process pictures in addition to sound. And -- bonus -- he can listen to favorite stories like Dr. Seuss and The Very Hungry Caterpillar, over and over and over again, and can even control playback himself if the stories are on his iPad, iPod touch, or other iDevice/player.

Would the kid enjoy a variety of activities? I am grateful to a local business, My Busy Kits, whose products appeal to all sorts of kids. Their kits are nearly bottomless, and include such goodies as laceboards, Wiki Stix, crayons & markers, tape measures (which make Leo especially happy), black velvet coloring pages (which provide a sensory guide to help Leo stay in the lines), plastic scissors, activity pads, and a blank spiral notebook. I have been complimented on how well my children behave when we're out at restaurants -- when the truth is, they are often too busy playing with their My Busy Kits to be disruptive.

Spreading a Little Joy to Other Kids With Special Needs

Sometimes, our kids really do have most everything they need. I often feel that way about my fortunate boy, and so ask people to donate to organizations or campaigns for kids with special needs who could use more support, in lieu of a gift. My suggestions (and feel free to make more suggestions in the comments):

If you're interested in participating in a tweechat about gifts for children with disabilities:

The American Physical Therapy Association's Move Forward campaign is hosting a December 8 #MovePT tweetchat from 4:30 p.m. – 5:30 p.m ET. The HollyRod Foundation, founded by Holly Robinson Peete, will moderate the chat. The chat will open the discussion on toys that help children with disabilities develop problem-solving, physical and communication skills. A physical therapist will be on hand via @MoveForwardPT to answer questions.