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I didn't grow up biking around all that much. Sure, I had a bike. And I would use it to get around in the neighborhood. I never really went very far though, and there weren't a ton of kids in my neighborhood that all went biking to the creek or something every summer. In high school I pretty much stopped biking except for rare weekend excursions.

But since coming to St. Louis, and especially since moving to south city, I've been biking a lot for both exploration and transportation. Just as running has become a significant part of my life, cycling has grown in its impact on my daily routine.

My commute is six miles each way. Most days I make that trip by bike; it takes about half an hour with stop lights and traffic. Although I don't love losing an hour each day to my commute--I used to have a 10 minute walk to work--I sincerely appreciate the exercise. I always walk into work with a smile on my face because I just got to bike through two amazingparks, I got my heart rate up, I worked for it. When I go home I can burn off the daily stress and walk through my door out of breath and relaxed. On the days I drive to work, I almost always regret it. Dealing with traffic and highways always puts me in a bad mood and I miss the workout. Although I have to deal with the uncertainty of traffic as a cyclist (Will they see me? Do I have to stop at this stop sign?) the physical struggle is rewarding enough to push those stresses aside.

In a car you lose your connection to the areas you drive through. Your windows might be down but you're still inside, walled in. You're a behemoth and your primary responsibility is making sure that nobody gets hurt as you hurtle down the road at 40 miles per hour. On a bike you're part of your world. You can go quickly enough to actually get somewhere, but you have the opportunity to look around and observe the world as it goes about its day. You notice the same cyclists on your route. You pay attention to the trees. You know what the weather is like that day and you stop fighting against it and learn to revel in the heat and the rain. On a bike, you are not an individual separate from your world; you're a member of it.

As exploration, biking can't be beat. Living in Tower Grove East, I am about a 15 or 20 minute bike ride from so many exciting, different neighborhoods. I love being able to bike to Benton Park or Soulard without worrying about having a couple drinks. I like being able to go to the Whitaker Music Festival without stressing about parking. But it's actual exploration that cycling excels at. Learning a new neighborhood by knowing roughly where you're going and having a sense of adventure. Getting a little bit lost and finding a new park or bar. Seeing the city and its architecture at a slow enough pace that you can drink it all in. I live to know my city a little bit more every week. Biking offers me that. And as others have shown me STL by bike, I always enjoy sharing this city with others by cycling around. It really is the best way to learn what St. Louis has to offer.

When you drive, you have a destination. When you bike, you have a journey. It's the journey I enjoy.

Dating — online or off — is frustrating and bewildering, a long and tearful journey to a great partner. While technology has absolutely transformed how we find potential dates, the most significant change is cultural. Instead of settling down with someone “good enough” we ask so much from our partners now that it’s only natural the search for them is arduous.

Our conversations about civic matters—economic policies, schooling systems, religion, science, and social institutions—are severely lacking in nuance and reasoned debate. Instead, what flourishes are simplistic arguments and ad hominem attacks. This trend is strengthened by a media environment where we can easily consume pieces tailored to our point of view, avoiding challenge and change.

On Being is a weekly public radio show hosted by Krista Tippett ostensibly about religion and spirituality, but now the host of a broader series of discussions called the Civil Conversations Project. I used to turn off On Being when it came on my radio Sunday afternoons, put off by the wispy quality, assuming it was a liberal echo chamber of feel-good, empty spirituality.

But as I would listen in snippets, or accidentally turn it on in the car, I found it to be a series of careful, respectful dialogues about difficult subjects, with religion, of course, among the trickiest.

So it did not altogether surprise me to find myself enchanted by arecent episode on gay marriage, which really became a window into how to have civil debates. An interview of David Blankenhorn and Jonathon Rauch—originally on opposite sides of the gay marriage debate, and now friends in agreement on many issues—the discussion covered David’s changed mind on gay marriage, but much more interestingly their process of what they called “achieving disagreement.”

For this post I really want to excerpt some longer segments that, I think, speak for themselves. I encourage listening to the full episode. To have two people agree about how to disagree, that are intellectually honest in their point of view and empathetic enough to consider the other side is tragically rare these days and models a better way to converse. I think we can learn from them how to continue to passionately disagree while remaining not just polite, but truly civil.