2:48pm

The Two-Way

Canada To Zombies: Drop Dead, Eh

Canadian zombies dress for success. (An Occupy Vancouver "Zombie Walk" in October 2011.)

Sergei Bachlakov Xinhua /Landov

Apparently, the undead aren't even welcome in the ever polite Great North.

This week, Canadian Member of Parliament Pat Martin rose (from his seat, not a grave) to ask Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird if he is "working with his American counterparts to develop an international zombie strategy so that a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse?"

To which Baird replied: "I want to assure the member and all Canadians that I am 'dead-icated' to ensuring that this never happens. I want to say categorically to this member, and through him to all Canadians, that under the leadership of this prime minister, Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever!"

Now there's word, according to the Great Falls Tribune, that "the hoax reached around 10 stations in Montana, Michigan, California, Utah and New Mexico, said Greg MacDonald, the CEO of Montana Broadcasters Association."

So far, we haven't gotten any comment from any zombies. Our friend Linda Holmes over at Monkey See might be able to.