Why couldn't they take the name of one of the perpetrators that I found out for them, verify it with the two easily locatable witnesses that I tracked down for them, and call that kid's house to let his parents know that they were investigating his involvement in a couple of crimes that occurred that evening?

This left my doctor with little more than to explain the details of how he performs the procedure (there are many ways to do a vasectomy) and to have me drop trou so he could be sure my vas deferens were locatable.