The Biscuit Diaries

The storms were pretty bad last night, but like I said, storms don’t really bother me. I wasn’t too crazy about going out this morning in the rain, but when nature calls….

I’m feeling pretty frisky this morning. I’ve been running circles around the apartment. And hey, guess what. I got up on the bed this morning. It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought. I guess Tony and Bob will have some adjusting to do now.

The storms let up for a little bit this morning, so I seized on the opportunity to have Bob take me back to PetSmart. I needed a new toy just for my crate. I also got a new Martingale collar. A trainer told me the other day that it’s the best kind of collar for training Bob and Tony. She also told them that it would make it harder for me to run away, but that’s just plain silly. Why would I want to run away? I mean, I’ve got a pretty darn good thing going here.

Bob seems to be a bit under the weather today—a cold or, perhaps, allergies. He even went back to bed this morning after Tony left for work, and I thought he might need a little consoling, so I hopped up on the bed and slept at his feet for a few minutes.

I’m all excited. My Service Animal vest arrived today along with my bandana. I was supposed to get a tag too, but the company said that’s on back order. Anyway, now when I go out in public, I can really show off.

Bob has no right to be upset with me. Yeah, I did chew up my brand new Service Animal vest the first time I wore it, but nowhere on that thing does it say that it is not a chew toy. How the heck am I supposed to know the difference?

Bob went to the doctor today to see about his “cold.” The doctor checked him out and said he either had a virus or a bacterial infection. Why do humans always have to complicate things so much? Why couldn’t he just say that he had worms?

The doctor asked Bob why he didn’t bring me along, and Bob told him that he wasn’t sure how I would behave in that place. Yeah, right! More like how he would behave with me, I think. The doctor seemed disappointed. Maybe Bob will take me next time.

I took Bob to his make-up lesson tonight at PetSmart in Killeen. Bob learned how to walk me so that we keep pace with each other. He got that down pretty quickly. The trainer, Norma, took my lead at one point to show him how to do it, but I kept running back to Bob. Norma told Bob that I had really bonded with him. Of course, all the people in the store ooh’d and aah’d all over me. So, what’s new?

Tony didn’t go to class with us. He goes to bed early, and since the lesson didn’t start until 8:00, we would have been home past his bedtime. That’s OK, though, Bob can show him what we learned, and he’ll pick it up very quickly. I must say, Tony is one of the smartest humans I’ve met. Oh, that’s what these bipeds call themselves: humans—or people. They seem to think that choosing the right word makes them superior.

I took Bob to McDonald’s for breakfast. After yesterday, when he didn’t take me to the doctor’s office, I wanted to see how he would behave in public with me. So, I had him put my Service Animal bandana around my neck, and off we went. The manager came out and asked if I was a service dog, and I just showed her my bandana, and everything was cool. I was curious to check out the place, so Bob kept pulling on my leash, but other than that, I was quite well behaved. I never barked once and never caused any problems. When we got ready to leave, I made sure that Bob went up to the counter and thanked the manager for her consideration. I think Bob was very pleased because I know he wants to go visit his friend Mike in Houston, and now I’m more confident that he will conduct himself properly in public places.

I went to the groomer’s today and gave Bob the afternoon off. Bob told the groomer that I had a bit of separation anxiety, but I’ll bet you a month’s supply of Blue Buffalo that he was more anxious this afternoon than I was. He probably couldn’t figure out what to do with all that free time. Before, my coat looked all white, but with the grooming, my gold undercoat now shows through just a bit.

OK, so I didn’t write anything in my diary over the weekend. Don’t blame me, though. If Tony and Bob didn’t have such boring lives, I might’ve had something to write about. It’s funny, ya know. When I can’t think of anything to write, Bob calls it laziness, but when he can’t think of anything to write, he calls it writer’s block. Yeah, right!

They put me in the kennel last night when we went to bed, and I was just fine with that. I don’t mind being in the kennel as long as somebody’s with me, but when Bob put me in the kennel this morning and then went into the living room to watch TV. I didn’t care much for that. I guess I’d better get used to it, though, ‘cuz something tells me that he’s going to be doing that a lot more often—especially when he wants to go to the gym or someplace without me.

I took Tony and Bob to their third lesson last night. They learned how to give me treats when I lie down on command and also when I leave something on the floor that they don’t want me to pick up.

They tried to check my weight, but the scale was in front of the vet clinic, and I don’t like the smell of that place, so I refused to cooperate.
Bob usually needs my attention more than Tony, but Tony came home from work today with a sore back, so I cozied up to him a bit more than usual. When Bob went out to get Tony some medicine, I didn’t even whimper. I just curled up beside Tony and kept him company.

Bob and Tony have decided that they should start leaving me alone in my kennel when they go out. Apparently, they have a life aside from me—though I can’t imagine why. Anyway, I let them know in no uncertain terms that I don’t appreciate it. By the time they got home, I had moved my kennel (from the inside) half way across the bedroom floor and pushed my tray even farther.

I like tassels. I chewed my rope bone into shreds, and when I started chewing on the tassels at the ends of the living room rug, Tony decided that it was time for me to get a new rope bone, so I took Bob to Pet Smart and picked out the kind I like. I started to chew on one of Bob’s tennis shoes once, but when he told me to leave it, I did. I’m pretty good when they tell me to leave something. It would be nice if they gave me a treat every time I did that, but sometimes they forget. I guess that comes with old age, so I’ll cut them a little slack.

Today I showed Bob and Tony how responsible I can be. Bob started to go somewhere, and I ran out the door before Tony had a chance to restrain me. How was I supposed to know that Bob would actually go somewhere without me? I was good, though. I didn’t run off. Instead, I just waited on the porch for Bob, and when he called me to come, I ran right back into the house. Of course, I would rather have gone with him—I like riding in the car—but I like Tony too, so I was happy to stay with him. Besides, now that it’s getting hotter, Bob worries about leaving me alone in the car for too long. I don’t blame him; I wouldn’t want to do that to him either.

Finally, Bob figured it out. After I moved my kennel around two days in a row when Bob and Tony left me alone, Bob finally figured out that he should move my kennel into the other room beside the window. He knows how much I like to look out the window. So, today when they went out and left me alone, I was more content. Of course, I would prefer to have gone with them, but at least they left me where I can sit and watch the world go by.