A friend who has a girlfriend likes me

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Hi! At the begining I want to apologize if I sound arrogant/immature. I just simply want to understand his behavior, that’s why I’ll be so frank.

This guy is into me. I’m 100% sure. Whenever we work together, he just can’t take his eyes off of me. He blushes when he sees me. He is all nervous and intimidated around me. He bumps into me all the time. (Last time it happened it was so obvious… he was in his office, I was in the hall when someone called my name aloud. I knew that it will be just a matter of seconds that he leaves his office once he must have heard my name. And there he was, no more than 15 seconds later).

Anyway, this is rather obvious…

At the beginning I wasn’t sure why he doesn’t make a move – now I know – he has a girlfriend.

What I don’t understand now is: why he won’t break up with her and ask me out? It’s obviously not the best relationship if he is so much into someone else. If he is so into me, then why is he still with her?

The fact that he obviously likes you doesn’t mean that he can’t like his girlfriend a lot.. This guy seems to like you a lot, obviously he has developed a big crush on you. However, crushes happen every now and then even when a person is already in a relationship and such crushes are not always to be acted upon. Maybe he truly loves his girlfriend and wants to be with her, if he’s lucky enough to have a great relationship with his partner why would he throw it all out of the window just because he met another girl he likes? What is his crush passes after a couple of weeks, wouldn’t he had done a huge mistake to break up? On the other hand, maybe he’s too shy to take action or is still confused on whether you like him back or not.. The question is, do you like him back? If so, perhaps you could try to show him you like him too and see how it goes. Maybe he’ll ask you out or, if this would be an option, maybe you could ask him out for a coffee yourself and see how things go..

Nate99, thanks for your reply. I guess I understand most of it… with one exception. They haven’t been dating for that long, about a year – and it seems to me that if you’re developing serious crushes so soon, then it’s not a great relationship, something is missing, I’ve been in long-term relationships before, and I’ve had my crushes, so I would understand – but I wasn’t having crushes in the first few months. This thought must have crossed his mind too, right? And if he likes me a lot, then why risk loosing what might have happened – with me? I don’t know. I guess this all must be complicated and difficult for him.

I do have feelings for him, but it’s difficult and complicated for me too – of course, I am aware that she is there, and that she may get hurt in all this. Normally, I would be happily fooling around with him long ago. But it is complicated, I don’t want to hurt anyone, I don’t want to chase a man whose feelings I am not sure about.

**What I don’t understand now is: why he won’t break up with her and ask me out? It’s obviously not the best relationship if he is so much into someone else. If he is so into me, then why is he still with her? **

ok re-read that a few times. He is dating another female. Period. He is not available. Now.. whether or not he is attracted to you and his relationship with her is rocky, that is non or your business until he has officially terminated it with her. If you get with him or even attempt to while he is with her, you are a cheater yourself. Take that seriously

** I am aware that she is there, and that she may get hurt in all this.**
** I don’t want to chase a man whose feelings I am not sure about.**

May get hurt? How about will get hurt. What if you were in her shoes. If he is having troubles, stay out of it and let him deal with it like a man. Dont be “that girl” or you wont forget it. As for chasing him and not knowing his feelings. Hes taken. Start with that.

109ball02 I know you are right, that’s why I am not making any moves myself – although I see his interest, so it’s not easy for me either. I may add that it was him who started it – he was flirting with me and hiding that he has a girlfriend. This will sound very arrogant again – I find it difficult to imagine myself in her shoes, because I wouldn’t put up with this. If I was with a man who I would sense is not that into me, I would just leave. Although… the truth is, I don’t really know how their relationship is.

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