Thank you, my dear readers, for the comments you’ve left, so filled with wonderful questions, open honesty, wisdom, insight, inspiration and so much human decency. I have been blessed greatly by reading what you have had to say here at Meant to be Happy.

Your comments have deepened my own understanding of the things I write about. They have broadened my vision. They have made me a better man. And I thank you for that.

“I have found that blogging itself helps me to grow and learn. As I teach others, they teach me with their comments.”

And thus in an instant a new feature here at Meant to be Happy was born — where quotable excerpts from your comments will introduce topics in a series of posts creating a veritable smorgasbord of insight, a buffet of inspiration and wisdom.

I hope you’ll enjoy this first course at the buffet of your own making (with, of course, a little help from me :))!

Note: I have edited some of the comments for grammar, spelling, punctuation, brevity and, in some instances, clarity. I believe, however, the meaning has been left unaltered. Still, in no way should the reader suppose the commenter necessarily endorses what follows their words.

“[When offended] I like to stop and take a moment to reflect if what I am hearing sounds like truth. If it does I take it in and decide what direction I want to go with the information. If it doesn’t I brush it off and keep moving forward.”

A woman once went to her religious leader demanding he do something to discipline another woman who had gossiped about her. The leader politely listened to her long tirade. When the woman had finished making her case, she demanded to know what the leader would do.

This was his wise reply: “Well, let me tell you what I do whenever I hear that someone has said things about me I know to be untrue. I first reflect on the last interaction I had with that person and try to remember if there was anything I said or did that could have given the impression of offense. And the thing is,” he continued, “I usually find that I had. I then go to the offended party and apologize. And typically, that’s the end of it.”

The woman left incensed but was taught a powerful lesson, one, perhaps, many of us could benefit from.

“Having love and compassion for yourself makes it easier not to take things so personally.”

To the degree we are dependent on external validation for what we do and who we are, the external world will be empowered to offend us.

Become self-validating and it won’t matter much what others say or how they say it. Your esteem won’t come from them, so they will lack the power to uproot it.

“I’ve been married for a little over a year now, and I’ve realized that if I want a certain type of marriage, I have to be a certain type of person.”

To raise the kind of children who are loving and well-mannered, self-motivated and responsible, courageous, compassionate and forgiving, we have to become the kind of parent that produces the kind of qualities we most hope they acquire.

To have the respect of others, we must become respectable.

To have others’ trust, we must be trustworthy.

To be loved, we must first be loveable.

To require or expect behavior from others irrespective of our own is the height of immaturity and will eventually lead to unhappiness every single time.

“I’ve been in the hospital a couple of times over the last three weeks. It’s been a very scary experience, but as your quote says, I guess my mission isn’t finished yet because I’m still alive and thankfully so. This recent experience has given me new food for thought.”

I believe we have so much to accomplish and become in this life. Our mortality affords us a timed race to live our lives within a relatively short duration in a way that lifts and builds others and ourselves.

The winner of this race isn’t determined by who crosses the finish line first or who carries the most expensive stuff in their pockets as they cross the line.

Rather, it’s determined by the spread of our love, the reach of our service, the rate of our growth, the depth of our passion for goodness and decency, the measure of our character, the persistence of our perseverance and the frequency of our forgiveness. It’s measured in how we treat people we don’t need to impress and how we treat ourselves in the quiet of our minds.

On some measure, it can be identified in the richness of our lives and the width and breadth of our joy and happiness and our commitment to things that matter most.

“I love stopping to appreciate amazing things in life. Sometimes I will pull over in the car when I happen upon a wonderful view, waterfall, old barn or covered bridge.”

It is in those moments when we stop and breathe in the world, when we are filled with wonder and awe, that an undergirding sense of gratitude that is unthinkingly, spontaneously expressed replaces the cynicism and granted taking and jaded responses we can otherwise have for the seemingly mundane.

It is then in those moments of appreciation for the little things everywhere, for what usually goes unnoticed in the hurried pace of most of our lives, that life becomes a sacred experience.

Let’s face it, parts of life can get really tough. But that wonderful curiosity and spontaneous appreciation elevates life above the difficulties to something akin to holiness.

“Oftentimes, one learns true kindness for having experienced unkindness.”

Our trials and hardships are, well, trying and hard! We don’t like them, and shouldn’t. But we can learn to appreciate them. We can learn to draw from the wisdom our challenges teach us.

You see, Karen is right. When we confront ugliness, we can come to appreciate beauty. When we see poverty, we can learn to better appreciate the blessings of our relative abundance. When we are denied love, we can more deeply appreciate it when it is extended.

We see the intent in a door held open for us to pass through. We feel the love in the meal that has been prepared. We see the tenderness in the hand that is extended to us.

The negative experiences in life often teach us more profoundly than the good in life. Gandhi, after all, only became the man he ultimately became in the heat of abuse and opposition.

“I think everyone needs a little push once in a while”

The human condition is one that easily falls into routine, predictable pattern, comfort zones, taking things for granted, resting on laurels, waiting, delaying, procrastinating, taking paths of least resistance, getting by, doing just enough, and otherwise wearing ruts of habit like grooves into the paths that make up the road in life we travel.

And so Natasha is right as well. We all need a push at times, a shove in the right direction, a kick start or a kick in the rear to get us up and running again, remembering why it is we do the things we’ve committed to doing.

Should you need it, therefore, let this post, this day, be that kick for you.

i was just thinking about that yesterday Ken!
i think the moment we stop caring about what others thing is the same moment we prevent others from being able to bother us anymore
thanks for the post Pal 🙂

Thanks for the comment. I agree that the less we care about what others think, the less what they think will bother us. Still, I wonder if we don’t pay a moral price when we stop caring that way. For me, I do care that others perceive me correctly and would go out of my way to resolve a misperception. But I wouldn’t be bothered by their perception in the sense that my self-concept would be left unscathed. For better or for worse, my sense of who I am is on pretty solid ground. That sense of self-worth and esteem frankly can’t easily be knocked off balance by someone else’s misperceived notion of me. So in one sense, I deeply care about what others think. But at the same time, what they think doesn’t bother me. Does that make sense?

Hi Ken…where to begin 😉
Fabulous idea to glean from readers comments the inspiration for a talking point (or in this case a blogging point 😉 )
First, working backwards, what I have found in your words here at Meant to be Happy is that occasional “push” that I need that Natasha refers to. I know that I possess the tools I need to move forward, to create a happy life, to demonstrate gratitude and appreciation. That said, there are those times when I need that gentle push or that gentle encouragement to reassure me or guide me. There are many places that that push can be found…in nature, in love, in reflection. But, as a tip of the hat to you, Ken, so often that gentle nudge is found here.
Next 😉 How true it is that our negative experiences so often present us with some of the best gifts. A lesson learned from a “negative” experience is going to be so much more profound and reflected on than a lesson learned from an easy path. It truly is the irritation of the sand that creates the most beautiful of pearls…and so it is in life.
Next ( are you seeing a pattern here? 😉 ) Appreciating the beauty in life is one of my all time favorite things to do. I don’t know if it is because I am older (sigh) or because of my fairly recent passion for photography but I find myself seeking beauty on an entirely different level than ever before. I am more profoundly struck by the simplest of scenes. While typing this comment, the lighting from the window in front of me changed from dreary gray to stunning golden and I was captivated…I almost want to breathe more deeply to inhale the beauty. Taking my camera with me most everywhere has given me opportunities to “capture” some of the beauty that my eye is drawn to. The moments, then, get to stay with me longer.
Next…Death…mortality…this is a tough one for me. I still have a hard time dealing with death…one would think that with a background in healthcare (I was a nurse before a dentist) I would have come to terms with death…but I haven’t. And so that race that you refer to to live our lives against the clock looms heavily over me. I want to experience everything and I feel so pressed for time. This feeling of “panic” is why I put so much effort into that “living in the now” philosophy…it helps to slow me down, reduce the panic and help me to focus.
Next…we are so responsible for the outcomes of our relationship. There can be no finger pointing. When talking to a friend one day, I was struck by this admission ” I thought that with time, she was going to change. The thing is, I forgot to ask her if she wanted to change”. That says it all. We can’t rely on the other person to “change”. If a relationship is important enough to us, it is up to us to do the right thing to create a healthy outcome.
Next….(almost done!! )Loving and respecting ourselves is so intimately tied into how we see ourselves tin the mirror of other’s eyes. If we don’t love and respect ourselves, the reflected image that we will see from others is one who is not deserving of love or respect.
Ken, I know that I ramble on and on here and I am so appreciative of your kindness in humoring me. Your home here is a kind and welcoming place and I thank you for your wisdom, insight and humor!
ClaudiaClaudia recently posted … We Did the Monster Mash – Imagination and Halloween

You are just too awesome, Claudia! Humor you? I would almost (and remember, I did say ALMOST!) be willing to PAY you to write what you write here!!! 🙂

We all need that nudge and I get it as often from your amazing words. Thank you for that.

I like that: “It truly is the irritation of the sand that creates the most beautiful of pearls.” Nicely said! And frankly, I wish it wasn’t true! I wish I would pick up on the great lessons of life without the sand grinding the lesson home, but, unfortunately, you’re right. And so the challenges keep coming and I keep learning!

That’s great that you take so many pictures. That’s something on my list of things to someday do. I would love to learn how to take some of those amazing photos of mountains or the beach or sunsets and the like you sometimes see featured on Flickr. Some of those photos don;t only capture the beauty of the moment, they capture and even create such powerful emotion too.

Here’s how I look at the whole “limited time on earth” issue: Like you, there is so much I want to do. So I ask myself, what is most important? For me, that’s faith and family first and foremost. If I can do what I want and achieve what I want there, I figure that’s a life extremely well lived. My second tier priorities is what I do here and my teaching career. If I can do those well and feel like I’m accomplishing something good and positively affecting lives, well, what a wonderful life! My third tier dreams include things like writing a book, learning to sing (go check out Lori’s site to see the amazing conversation Claudia got started with her guest post on music as the soundtrack of our lives!!!), lecturing/speaking at events around the world, and so on. Below that is traveling and skiing and other things I would love to do. But what if I never get past my tier one or two priorities? To me, I will be deeply grateful for being able to live a life filled with so much meaning and purpose and joy.

That’s the way I look at it now in all my middle-agedness, anyway! 🙂

Self-respect is indeed the precursor to earning others respect. And living lives of character is the fasted way to develop that self-respect, as long as we can learn to be patient with ourselves in the life-long process of developing that character.

Thank you so much for sharing, Ken! It is a joy to come here and read your words of inspiration, motivation, and love. It was great to read the words of your readers combined with your wisdom. It reminds me of the saying two heads are better than one. Have a wonderful day!Wendy Irene recently posted … November Passion

Ken, it’s interesting how our lives are so full of potential to blossom in relationships, business, happiness if we show ourselves to be friendly, loving, kind, and respectable. You’ve got some great words of wisdom.Bryan Thompson recently posted … Why Courage and Happiness are Strongly Connected

Yes! Potential! So much of it! And yet we so often wait for it to spring up in side of us instead of digging down deep to get at it and massage it out into the world! Thanks for what you do and the wisdom you share at your site as well! I’m a fan!

Wonderful words of wisdom and insight Ken which proves the enlightened aren’t the sages, gurus, or swami’s, but the very people we are and the experiences and challenges we go through. We should trust the sum of our own knowledge and instincts far more often!John Sherry recently posted … 5 Reasons Why You Should Never Blame The Referee

Thank you, John! That means a lot to me, coming from so wise a guy as you!

Great comment about the sum of our own knowledge. There is a collective wisdom that if tapped can certainly steer us in better directions than we sometimes go as a human race. Wonder why it is that we don’t trust that wisdom more!

Thanks for stopping by, John. Always leaving such tidbits of insight for us all to chew on fro a while!

It was my pleasure to share such insightful comments, Dia. I have some of yours waiting for a home in a future post in this series too! As I start putting the post together, I watch and see if it takes a particular direction, so never know which quotes I’ll go with. But you certainly have waxed eloquent here!

I like what one religious leader once said of his passion for learning truth. He said that if the very Devil himself were to offer him truth, he would thank him for it and dismiss him.

It’s easy to be a student of life when you are surrounded with so much light shining from so many sources glowing off the pages of my comments!

I try to read the comments after a post because there are so many golden nuggets of information, but more times than not I overlook them. And the comments you highlighted are absolutely awesome.

I mean this is why we blog! We become inspired by the sharing of thought and idea and we try and incorporate those bright spots in our daily lives. And so when you read a comment from Marianne, who says that her mission isn’t finished yet because she is still alive, well that is the type of inspiration I want to live my life by.

Yeah, I was kind of happy with the idea myself! 🙂 I’m one of those give-credit-where-credit-is-due type of guys, so wanted to yell out the real source of insight here.

I know what you mean, Chris. I try to read the comments too, but sometimes I don’t really have time to read them all. I’m often left to skimming, if that much! That’s one of the reasons I thought this was a good idea when it came to me.

I agree with you about Marianne. She is a real gem of a human being. She has another blog called Miracle Mama. Check it out!

Thank you for mentioning me. I appreciate that. We can learn from others.

When it comes to Karen’s you said, “You see, Karen is right. When we confront ugliness, we can come to appreciate beauty. When we see poverty, we can learn to better appreciate the blessings of our relative abundance. When we are denied love, we can more deeply appreciate it when it is extended.”

When we do this we acquire wisdom. I to enjoy my comments and love to see others points of view on a subject. We can learn from others, because we all see the world differently.

You are so right. It is in the fire of life that wisdom emerges. Or at least it CAN emerge. We all know people who never seemed to gain much in the way of wisdom despite their years and the challenges they faced. But the potential is certainly there if we are willing to see and learn from life’s trials.

As for quoting you, it was my pleasure. You have so many wonderfully quotable things to say! Almost all my learning come from others. All of you are my teachers and exemplars of wisdom.

Hey Ken,
You are very welcome Ken. 🙂 Thank you writing such intriguing posts that make us dig a little deeper and challenge ourselves to stretch and grow.

I am really drawn to the comment from Wendy. It is so easy to become offended these day because of lack of communication skills. I have had to go to people that were cold to me and patch up any problems that were there.

Usually it was something that I had “said” taken out of context. I know from a psychological level the offense that I said was not my problem, but the other person’s, but taking some responsibility on my end did wonders for healing the energy between the two of us.Justin | Personal Growth recently posted … Mazzastick.com’s Guide 4 New Bloggers eBook

Congrats on the new book and the first sale! Yep, read your post. Been crazy busy reworking my blog (new header/banner up top, new About page, and working on an ebook — all coming soonish)

Wendy has left some choice comments (as have you, by the way — don’t be surprised to see your name under a quote here soon!). I agree with you about people being so easily offended. A word, a tone or inflection in the voice, and some are angry for days. It’s as though people’s skin has become very thin.

But in the end, you chose right, buddy. It can be hard to bury our pride and take responsibility and go make amends when others take offense over what we feel is nothing. But returning harmony with a few sincere words is usually well worth the effort.

Good luck on the book! You’ve been having amazing results with your blog, so you definitely have lots of insight to share!

Hi Ken, I am humbled and honored to be quoted in this article along with the other great quotes. You have not only assembled an impressive list of quotes, you have drawn upon them to enhance them with your added insights. If I could find a theme for all of these quotes, it would be to appreciate and make the most of all that you have been given. And what a wonderful way to demonstrate that by your crafting of this profound post.

These kinds of posts are always such a joy to write. I love honoring those worthy of being honored. And your words speak for themselves. I love to read and expound on very quotable comments left by others. So thank you for yours!

I sort of tried to stay away from a theme so the post would truly be a buffet of wisdom, as stated in the post itself, but noticed a theme was developing anyway. I noticed the same one you did.

We really have been given amazing opportunities, gifts and circumstances. If we but take the time to notice such things, life would seem so much more amazing a thing than we do when taking much of it for granted.

Ken:
I love this idea and you are so right that your readers have shared so many great little nuggets of wisdom. Their comments are all so thoughtful and thought provoking. I think that is a great combination:) Thanks for sharing them with us. What a great post!

It’s funny, whenever I get an idea for a post I haven’t seen out there before, especially if it’s not quite ready to be posted, I get sort of anxious to get it published. I worry about someone else coming up with the idea and posting it before I get a chance to. Silly, I know. But I was excited about doing this on-going series. This one is the first of many to come — so long as I keep having such wonderful people stop by to leave a few words!

Well, all I have to say is that your words speak for themselves. And I see wisdom. Upside down turning life events are not that fun, are they! But in the end, like has been said, what’s more important than what we’ve lived with is how we’ve lived with it.

Having said that, I couldn’t know what it’s like to endure your challenges. You seem to be such a positive and strong woman, Marianne. I hope things have gotten easier.

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About Me

My name is Ken Wert, the founder of M2bH. My purpose here is to teach you how to live a richer life of greater purpose and meaning, of mind-blowing possibility and deeper, more soul-satisfying happiness than you ever dreamt was possible. Join us on this happy adventure as you learn how to unlock your hidden potential to enjoy the rewards of a life well lived. Read more ...