Naomi Nut Cracker

[$63.84] / [£16.44] If you just googled “Naomi Nutcracker” then I’m sorry, she no longer offers that service. If however you aren’t looking for a $200 a night dominatrix to smash your balls into pulp, and you were searching for an easy way to crack nuts open, then voila you’ve found it. This stainless steel springy thing smashes down harder than a Malaysian jet, and could probably be used to break open tiny animals if you were a psychopath. Sick of cracking open nuts on your forehead like a chump? Then buy the Naomi Nutcracker.