Most of what I know I know from New Girl. I have great news you guys! After a long, sometimes confidence-destroying search, I finally found an apartment with people who have agreed to let me live with them! In interesting news, I’ll be living with a mix of roommates: two guys and two girls, including myself. Eep! I’m nervous/excited to move next weekend! Most of my adult life has been spent with lady housemates: my college roommates, my two NYC gal pals, and um, my reflection in the mirror the year I had my own studio. But I also spent three years post-law school with a fabulous fashion student turned med-school guy, and my last year in Columbus with my dear cousin Ryan as a roomie/non-charging landlord (thanks again, cuz!). I can’t speak to the mixed-gender group dynamic just yet, but as for one-on-one situations, here are some differences I’ve noted between living with male and female roommates. I'm talking platonically, but maybe this stuff applies for couples too. (Please note—based on my description above, this is obviously based on a small example and therefore clearly is COMPLETELY ACCURATE for every man and woman ever because this is a very read more

Because the best kind of a girl is a quirky girl. Whenever there's a new dating site making waves, I clearly have to test it out for both professional and personal reasons. It's not always a good fit for me. Like for instance, I think I'm about 12 years too old to truly enjoy Tinder, and while I do love travel, I do not enjoy sexism so Miss Travel wasn't a good fit. However, one might think new dating site LoveFlutter.com would be a good fit for me. The premise is to match people with common interests, using mutual likes and suggested dates to make sure potential couples have plenty to talk about on dates. OK, sounds good. Here's the catch: They've set up a "Quirky-Interesting Test" to make sure users are actually interesting enough to be worthy of a setup on their site. And guess what: I FAILED. I AM SO BORING. Zzzzzzz. I feel asleep just being inside my own brain. No really. Here's a screenshot of my gentle but clear rejection: Before you feel too embarrassed and sad for poor old snoozefest me, I've been chatting over email with co-founder Daigo Smith, who has been very read more

We've heard of paying people to doctor your online profile to make you sound better, but you might not have the money since you probably aren't having regular sex or why would you need an online dating profile? Sure, this free version just gives you however many paragraphs you want of pure gibberish. But gibberish that could probably pass for a profile anyway. Created by programmer Lauren Hallden, this profile generator strings together the common catchphrases, cultural references, and generic interests you see over and over again in users profiles. "Because most profiles are just word soup anyway," says the tagline. It's kind of true. Here's my generated two-paragraph profile of the "typical inane jabber" persuasion: Aside from the fact that there are no actual sentences (it's still not the worst grammar I've ever seen online), this does kind of sound like every 20-something and 30-something's profile ever. A pretty laid-back person who likes whiskey, IPAs, Breaking Bad, and tacos? This person also probably has hair, is kinda tall, and wears T-shirts sometimes. You can also opt for your profile to be generated "with a side of crazy sauce." Here's an example: Yep, that does kind of sound like read more

Not like this, basically. I would never judge someone for wanting to give their ex a healthy little dose of regret. I mean, that's basically what breakovers and super-hot dates to a mutual friend's wedding were invented for. But there's a difference between hoping to run into your ex looking your very best and watching him eat his heart out, and actively reaching out to your ex to repeatedly say "HA! Look how I've moved on!" Instead of inspiring jealousy, that move is more likely to inspire a) pity and b) a restraining order. Case in point, a reader who wrote in with this question about her ex-boyfriend: "What should you do when an ex is intentionally making you jealous? Mine continues to email, Facebook, or text out of the blue just to say hurtful things or tell me about new girls he's dating." Here's my five-step plan for dealing with this. I hope that only step one is necessary, but you never know. Step One: Ignore. Don't respond to any of his messages. Don't post statuses about his behavior on Facebook, even if they're vague ("So sick of people who can't let go!"). Don't complain about his contact read more

To me, the two most important parts of a good pre-date ritual are a solid teeth brushing and music. The brushing (and probably mouthwash too) is because DUH KISSING POTENTIAL, but the music is all about getting yourself in the right happy, sexy, and maybe just a little bit sassy mood. Match.com users agree, as 78 percent of the 1,100 singles surveyed said that music was a crucial part of their pre-date ritual. Evidently, guys try to channel Justin Timberlake before a date, whereas gals try to be like the confident Pink. Using those inspirations and other preferred musical tastes ascertained in the survey, Match.com and Spotify teamed up to create "All Amped Up: The Single Best List of Pre-Date Anthems." Got a date tonight? Time to hit play: For more on the mood music preferences of singles, go here. What songs do you like to play when you're getting ready for a big night? P.S. Guys' pre-dating rituals! read more

Has the entire British population decided to conspire to make us feel like we need to take a hot shower to wash away gross mental images this month? First, it was toilet dating. Now, they're taking a poll to see how often men wash their sheets, and the results are decidedly not Downy fresh. Via a new survey, an average single man changes his sheets a mere four times a year. That's every 3.1 months on average. All the single ladies, on the other hand, are keeping it clean, changing theirs every 2.5 weeks, or 26 times a year. Step it up, guys. While more than 20 percent ‘didn’t see the need’ to do it more often, and 19 percent just ‘didn’t care’, another 17 percent of single guys said a prospective partner had been ‘put off’ by their grody beds. Ewwwww. How dirty do your sheets have to be for someone to visibly (or olfactorily, I suppose) notice? For those of us of a certain age who aren't in the habit of sleeping with significantly younger fellas, we can breath a little easier. The 18-to-25 set was the grubbiest, whereas men ages 35 to 50 washed their bedding read more

Lena Dunham is no stranger to exposing herself—both in the physical sense and in the sense of hilarious peeks into the mind of her younger self—and I adore her for that. Remember when she Instagram-ed her sketch of her dream wedding dress circa 2002, complete with the ideal reception menu of a pasta bar, tofurkey and stuffing, and tropical drinks? So good. And this morning, to celebrate Throwback Thursday, she posted a three-part series of photos revealing a very important sex question she had as a 19-year-old. She sought advice from Time Out New York, and the magazine printed her question and columnist Jamie Bufalino's response. Check it out; I think Girls fans might recognize the dilemma... Sounds sort of familiar, right? Add a little enviable cleavage, and you've got Shoshanna Season One and the virginity she couldn't give away to Skylar Astin if she tried. Which she did. I like young Lena's sensible position that she wants to be honest so that her first time is a comfortable and respectful situation, I love the even more sensible advice that she should drop her timeline and let it happen when it's right, and I LURVE the now-dated references to Paris read more

Please leave out of your wedding toasts: "Congratulations on finding someone that will do after losing the real love of your life." In a poll of 2,000 people, one in seven of those in a long-term relationship said their partner is not the love of their life. Of those people, 73 percent said they "made do" with another lover because their one true love got away from them. Wah wah wah wahhhhhhhhh. Sad enough yet? Another 17 percent of people said they have met the love of their life, but unfortunately, it happened after they got together with their current long-term partner. Around 46 percent said they'd leave their partner to be with The One. Sheesh, you guys. This is sad. Hold me, please. On the bright side, the average person has only been left heartbroken once, so....does this mean I'm done?!? Man, I sure hope so. Do any of you feel like you met the love of your life too late? Or too early, for that matter? Do you need some ice cream to get you through these statistics? I do. Need some happy stuff now? Here ya go: *Watch This “Yes to Love” Video, Feel Your Heart Melt read more

I would hate Anna Kendrick for looking so gorgeous in her new photo shoot with GQ, but I believe it is scientifically impossible to hate Anna Kendrick. And she's not making it any easier by sharing stories of getting approached while shopping for underwear (possibly from the 19th century) and delivering some solid dating advice in her typically winsome deadpan style. Observe: I know this advice is directed at the mostly male GQ readers who are undoubtedly in love with Anna, but a) who ISN'T in love with Anna, regardless of gender? And b) I think these tips work for just about anyone. Hence, I've summed up her important points, Glamour Dos and Don'ts style: DON'T: Discuss liver cancer. DO: See the romance in tacos. DON'T: Serenade a lover, forcing him/her to lie about your terrible performance. DO: Embrace drinking during the uncomfortable getting-to-know-you phase. Now go forth and date Kendrick style! How charming is Anna's video? Do you agree with her (possibly not very good) advice? More wisdom from famous women: *5 Love Lessons From Katy Perry *The Taylor Swift Dating Attitude You Should Adopt *Single Girls, Listen Up: Stevie Nicks Has a Pep Talk for You read more

You don't pop your cork for every guy you see, but as it turns out, you probably don't actually do so for a big spender. (Accurate or not, you'll have this stuck in your head for the rest of the day for sure.) You'd never guess it from the elaborately lavish dates of reality TV, but most of us are actually turned on by people who guard their money like it's going out of style. (It's not. Ever.) According to recent research, people who save money are viewed as more attractive dating material than those who spend their money more freely. Evidently, it's seen as a sign of broader self-control, which in turn makes us think the cheapskate (said affectionately) is also more likely to be able to commit and stay physically attractive. The study notes that this tends to be the general pattern in times of recession, but it's unclear if this is the case in times of more prosperity. The ability to save money is definitely a plus in my book, but I draw the line at people who are cheap about things like tipping or putting in their fair share at a group dinner. Gross. Is your read more

Since you guys totally got it when I shared my theory of the dreaded single-girl phenomenon of Breaking the Seal, I have another theory I want to commiserate over I’m calling it: spotting the tip of the relationship iceberg. Mostly so I can use this picture and make Titanic references, because priorities. The gist of it is, it’s the moment in a relationship (casual or serious, it doesn’t matter) when you just get the cold feeling in your gut that things are about to get icy and probably disastrous. The shift is so minor—his phrasing in a text is a little more formal than his usual casual messages, or he stiffens ever so slightly when you lean in for a kiss—that you almost don’t notice it and you might even try to convince yourself you’re imagining it, but deep down, you know you’re not. Other people will try to convince you it’s all in your head, because on the surface, it looks like nothing, or at least like something you can handle. In this scenario, other people are the captain, being all, “It’s totally fine, keep going full steam ahead with your love boat. I'm not worried!” or that Mr. read more

Not all one-night stands have to turn into the urban legend of the one that turned into a relationship. In the rain. Always in the rain. One-night stands tend to be a hot-button issue among women, including you, dear Smitten readers, so it's interesting to hear how different women have reacted to the experience. Refinery29 rounded up seven women to tell their stories. Editor Neha Gandhi says, "Some women swear it's the purest type of sexual encounter (most famously, Erica Jong). Others find themselves feeling deflated afterward, whether or not they had level-set expectations beforehand. And others still see it as just one half of the coin of sexual experience — where physical, carnal pleasure, and emotional intimacy can't coexist. " And you know what? That's OK. We all don't have to feel the same way about one-night encounters, as long as we respect one another's decisions. A few snippets of how women ultimately reacted to their one-night stands that I found interesting: From author Tracy Bloom, who had a one-night stand as an adult with the guy she'd been in love with as a teenager: "He said he'd phone. I knew he never would. Nights spent stalking the read more

Lately I've been noticing a decline in the amount of messages I get via online dating, probably because I'm not very active myself about looking for love these days. So you'd think I'd jump at the chance to figure out how to get more messages. And I probably would, if it hadn't turned out to be so shady and awful! Via Time, Recovery.org conducted an experiment on OKCupid, and the results are disheartening. They set up 40 fake profiles of men and women in five cities (the five most unfaithful cities, according to cheating site AshleyMadison.com, to be exact). They set up the profiles to fall within four categories: The Married Maybes: Users who said they were married but open to ending it if something better came along. The Recently Taken: Users who wrote they had just met someone through the site but hadn't closed their profile yet. The Brazen Cheats: Users who declared they were in a relationship but wanted to meet new people without their significant other finding out. The Sincerely Singles: Users who were single and actually wanted to meet their match. Unsurprisingly, the women got way more messages than the men, because that's just how online read more

Using anatomically correct terms in sexy situations can be awkwardly formal (plus, are we even using them correctly?), but slang terms tend to be either horrifying or hilarious. You're about to know what these time might be whispering to each other as foreplay. Which is even more apparent in some hilarious charts created by TimeGlider using Green's Dictionary of Slang by Jonathon Green, which chronicle an incredible list of genital slang from 1250 to present time. There's a his version and a hers version, and there are even specifications for what exactly each term is referring to (note the color-coded stars). I spared you some of the ones that made me shudder in favor of a few that made me laugh. Here are five for lady parts, and five for man bits.... For the womenfolk: nature's treasury (1635) Venus' honeypot (1719) tickle-thomas (1904) sugar scoop (1958) sassy box (1983) For more slang for her, go here. And for the gentlemen... nine-inch knocker (1696) wriggling pole (1719) best leg of three (1890) bald-headed hermit (1896) gospel-pipe (1916) (In ye olden times, methinks men were quite optimistic about their size.) For more slang for him, go here. What gems did you find read more

"You better not forget to call me next time there's a shoe sale at Saks!" I can't scientifically verify that no man anywhere has ever or will ever say these things, but according to Twitter, here are 12 #ThingsGuysDon'tSay: Not to stereotype that straight men don't like fashion, but I've truly never heard such a phrase out of the mouth of one. #ThingsGuysDontSay "Im liking your shoe-purse combination."— Genny Harrison (@SurfNukumoi) August 16, 2013 Guys, you don't know what you're missing. #ThingsGuysDontSay I'm just going to stay in, watch the bachelor, and sip on some Chardonnay— Anthony Deluca (@AntoineRouge) August 16, 2013 I mean, I get it, but do guys not like sparkling water? Because it's a fizzy delight! #ThingsGuysDontSay "can you pick up sparkling water instead of beer for the game later? I don't want to get wasted in front of our friends"— Ashley Katchadourian (@edibledarkmarks) August 16, 2013 Frankly, I wish guys would say this more often. I think they'd all be better dudes for it. Dave seems sad. We should get together and drink wine and talk about our feelings. #ThingsGuysDontSay— Carlos Danger (@TeamWhitetrash) August 16, 2013 To be fair, no one says this, ever. #ThingsGuysDontSay please read more

Ideas if you're looking to shake up the usual bar venue for meeting guys: bookstores, dog parks...and, um, public bathrooms? One creative London-based company is arranging a singles night that will haunt my nightmares worse than the time I went speed dating and a guy really creepily handed me a Hershey's Kiss as a weird, sexually charged greeting. It's...toilet dating! Like, you know, that romantic thing where you lock eyes across a germ-infested bathroom stall while smelling the faint stench of hundreds of people's past excremental functions. OK, to be fair, I actually think this isn't maybe the worst idea ever. It's a combination pub crawl and sightseeing tour of London's most interesting bathrooms, which, yes, is weird and possibly stinky and definitely germy and responsible for a lot of really bad toilet humor around the Web today, but, hey, it's a conversation starter! And a unique "how we met" story! And honestly, I am kind of curious now as to what makes a toilet among the most interesting bathrooms of a city. So I guess what I'm saying is, I'd be willing to put up with a lot of crap to meet the right guy. (Yup, count me in read more

People I assume have lots of great sex and I am certain have a boatload of money. Having sex four times or more a week? Well that sounds awesome. Even more awesome? If so, you're probably earning more money than the rest of us shlubs sharing our beds with just our laptop and our third viewing of entire series of Felicity on Netflix. In a study of 7,500 people ages 26 to 50 in Greece, those who got busy on the regs made 5 percent more money than those who didn't. They also had lower rates of diabetes, heart disease, and arthritis, so basically, congratulations on having it all, sexy people! Some hypotheses for the sex and money connection: People who are employed have more money to go on dates more often, money makes people more attractive, and people with more money buy more gifts, resulting in more thank you sex (um, that's beautiful, you guys). Or there's this explanation from the study's author, Nick Drydakis: "People need to love and be loved (sexually and nonsexually) by others. In the absence of these elements, many people become susceptible to loneliness, social anxiety, and depression that could affect their working read more

You guys already know I've experienced the uniquely uncomfortable situation of being hit on in front of my dad, and I didn't like it. So I'll admit, when I first saw the headline, "Dear Daughter: I Hope You Have Some F&*%ing Awesome Sex," my eyebrows raised so high I gave myself a temporary face-lift. But I read it, and I decided I was pretty cool with it. You should read it too. Blogger Ferrett Steinmetz made an Internet splash with his post, a response to another article he read called "10 Rules for Dating My Daughter," a more typical dad-vice (sorry) piece filled with the usual death threats toward any man who touched the author's little girl. Maybe that's an understandable impulse for a parent, but Steinmetz doesn't want to lock his kid in a tower. Instead, he says: "Look, I love sex. It’s fun. And because I love my daughter, I want her to have all of the same delights in life that I do, and hopefully more. I don’t want to hear about the fine details because, heck, I don’t want those visuals any more than my daughter wants mine. But in the abstract, darling, go out read more

Improving all the news. Are you tired of your Internet feed being filled with constant couples' selfies, Instagrams of adorable babies, pins of elaborately layered and decorated cakes, and other things that make you feel generally bad about your own life and, also, aren't Ryan Gosling? Me too, you guys. Me too. Luckily, a genius Web developer in Brooklyn has solved that little problem for you by creating "Hey Girl," a Google Chrome Extension that turns all the photos on the entire Internet into photos of America's boyfriend, RyGos. Katherine Champagne (I am so jealous of her skills and her name) made the possibly controversial but approved-by-me decision to change the concept from Channing Tatum photos to Ryan Gosling photos, and voilà, we all have to get Google Chrome now to get through the rest of the work day. Would this seriously improve your Internet situation? More Baby Goose: *All the Ways in Which My Imaginary Boyfriends Have Betrayed Me *When Guys Try To Be Romantic, But Fail (I Feel Like All Guys Want to Be Ryan Gosling but Can't Get It Right) *Toughest Question You'll Face All Day: Is Ryan Gosling Cuter Than a Puppy? Photo: Courtesy of read more

Usually when you hear about exes living together, it's because they're stuck in a lease post-breakup. This reader, however, is choosing to move in with an ex much later, as friends. Is this a disaster in the making? She writes: I'm moving to New York for school in about a month. My friends and family were so supportive of my decision, and everyone was keeping their ears open for possible roommates for me but I didn’t have much luck locating a place. I finally secured a spot, but this is the part where it becomes a problem. It's with a guy I briefly dated—and the majority of my friends dislike him. I acknowledge that it is far from ideal, but he and I are buds, and we're both in a jam. He and I are comfortable with this living arrangement, but my friends are essentially telling me that I'm an idiot and that I'm going to do poorly in New York. While I appreciate their concern and totally see where they are coming from, it bums me out that they can't be positive. I want to make the best of things, and be smart about an admittedly not super-great read more