Davey G. Johnson

Authorities spent a good three hours chasing down a runaway ostrich that got loose in Cyprus. During the course of the chase, which may or may not have reached speeds of 43 miles per hour, the possibly-400-pound flightless bird leapt onto a Mercedes, causing an untold amount of damage to the bumper and hood, according to the daily Phileleftheros. No word on whether the ostrich had the Circle Jerks' Wild in the Streets cranked on its iPod during the ill-fated break for freedom.