5 new Advice Q&A's

Q. I've been dating this guy for a while, and he hasn't tried to kiss me or hold my hand. What's his problem? —No Romance, 16, NJ

A. Perhaps he's not ready for a serious relationship yet. Also, he might just want your companionship rather than a dating relationship. Tell him exactly how you feel and ask him how he feels about you. Communicate, and you'll find out where you stand.

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Q. I asked a boy out on a dare. He said yes, but going out with him could ruin my reputation. I can't go, and I don't want to hurt his feelings. —Ruined, 15, CA

A. You should have thought about how he would feel before you took the dare! Acknowledge your mistake. Don't hurt him further by standing him up without a reason. Set things straight with him in an honest, nice way. But think twice before you say no. You could be missing out on a great date with a wonderful person.

Q. My bro is way uptight. How can I tell him to loosen up without hurting his sensitive feelings? —Concerned Sis, 15, CA

A. Invite him to do something mellow with you, like taking a walk in the park. It'll be a good time for you to talk to him and find out what's going on. Tell him you're concerned and you want to help. If he has big probs, suggest a talk with your parents or a school counselor. Be sensitive but direct.

Q. I was so shocked when this dweeby guy Pete asked me out that I said yes. He helped me with calculus, so I guess I felt obligated. I dated him for three miserable weeks because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Now he doesn't help me and refuses to talk to me. Have I done something wrong? —Karina, 15, San Antonio

Yes, you unintentionally did the wrong thing. You think you're being sensitive, doing the guy a favor because, in your mind, he's far from hip. But you're not going to solve his problems with a couple of dates. Don't lead this (or any) guy on. Just because he helps you with homework or comes to see your play doesn't entitle him to a date. Make it clear you think of him only as a friend. If he persists, you've got to tell him that you like the relationship the way it is and not to wreck it by pushing for something more.

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Q. My crush had a cat that just died. I was wondering if it would be wise to buy him a new one in hopes that he and I will finally get together. —Keri, 13, Seattle

A. Lots of girls try hatching plots to hook a hottie. They think it's easier than just being themselves. But there's a chance that if you take it too far, you'll ruin your chances completely. Follow it through. Check your idea out with a couple of guy buds. Do they think it's worth the risk? Weigh the odds. If you feel your plan of getting him a new cat is pretty solid and you want to go for it, be sure you can face the consequences if it doesn't work. And be ready to take care of the cat!

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