A blog cursed with Dark Shadows and other obsessions

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A Note on the Genesis of Count Petofi

Bonjour, mon vieux! Your beloved Countess has been–er–busy, debating about what to blog about next (more leftovers of songs I didn’t play at my wedding reception? Little teaser: no “Light My Fire”, “Will Never Marry”, or “Happiness is a Warm Gun”. Are you shocked? Very. NAME THAT MOVIE OR GET OFF MY BLOG!!), being obsessed with a little magical kitchen appliance called a FOOD PROCESSOR (I want to use it all day, every day forever and ever…I’m starting to have dreams about using it–and cutting my finger handling the blades, but that’s not important, I will suffer for my art if necessary!), and watching a lot of Dark Shadows. I mean, like a lot a lot. I’ve cycled through quite a few story arcs in the past few months (yeah, let’s say months, that sounds like a more balanced individual)–Parallel Time, Barnabas’ introduction, and–can I get a YA-OOOOOOO here?–Quentin Collins, womanizer (he can’t help it, really), Werewolf, and non-believer of Barnabas’s “I’m my own great-great-grandson” cover story.

I’m not really sure what prompted the re-awakening of this compulsive Dark Shadows watching, but I’m pretty sure it’s like cancer: it comes back worse. I mean, I have trouble leaving the house. (Just. One. More. Episode.) And I want to decorate my house like the Old House, sans electricity, indoor plumbing ‘n’ all. Yikes.

Anyway.

My husband married me knowing I loved this melodramatic “gothic soap opera” from the 1960s, a decade I probably should have been alive during. And I tried to reign him into my inner circle of obsession and madness, but the trouble was, he wasn’t gripped by the throat like Willie was. He said it was too slow. (THE NERVE!!) He refused to watch it unless he was trying to fall asleep.

Still, I married him, knowing he didn’t like Dark Shadows or The Brady Bunch (that’s really not normal, is it?) or The Monkees. Musta been love.

But then this thing happened…He started lurking when I was watching episodes. And he started asking questions. “Why is she [Maggie] still in this condition? Shouldn’t something else be happening to her by now?” “Is he a werewolf or does he just need a haircut?” “What happened to Count Petofi and the gypsy king?” And one of his questions has prompted this blog entry: “Why did you name your blog The Hand of Count Petofi? Is he your favorite character?”

Uhhhh, no! Barnabas and Quentin 4EVER. (Literally. You and I are gonna live foreverrrrrrr, we’re gonna live foreverrrrrrr...) So why not name this blog CousinBarnabas or WerewolfSideburns? Why The Hand of Count Petofi?

First of all, here’s a little mini bio of Count Andreas Petofi from none other than The Dark Shadows Wiki (because I don’t think I could say it any better):

Count Andreas Petofi is an extremely powerful warlock who first appeared in the 1897 storyline. He used the alias of Victor Fenn-Gibbon and presented Edward Collins with a forged letter of introduction from his friend, the Earl of Hampshire (793) to establish residence at Collinwood.

Petofi had very poor eyesight, which was odd because his powers were so great one would imagine he might have corrected his eyesight. He wore glasses with very thick purple frames to help correct his vision (786). He had certainly found a way to stop or slow his own aging (801) as he was at least 150 years old in 1897 according to Magda Rakosi. According to the Count, he had once possessed a pet unicorn, which he had killed on the full moon before curing himself of the curse of the werewolf. It was telling this story that told Quentin Collins he was a werewolf at one time, because most people would not have known that a werewolf does not recall what happened when they are in beast form (801).

The Count explained to Edward Collins that he could barely speak above a whisper as he had served with Lord Kitchener in the Sudan. It seems that the knife of a tribesman caught him just above the shoulder blade, and the tip pierced his throat. Petofi claimed he was almost given up for dead (793).

Somehow Petofi had placed a large reservoir of power into his right hand, which he then lost as payment to the gypsy woman who cured him of his lycanthropy. In the place of his hand he wore a wooden hand which generally held his cane. The gypsies kept the hand in a box where it did not decay, and retained considerable magical powers. The hand was stolen by Magda from King Johnny Romano (778), but she could not control it (786).

Count Petofi sent Aristede to recover the hand, but by the time he found Aristede unconcious on the docks, Angelique was in possession of the hand. Later that evening he recognized the box it was being kept in, being held by Angelique at Collinwood (793). He watched through the window as Angelique attempted to use it to take away Quentin’s disfigurement.

Among Petofi’s greatest enemies were the Gypsies (794). He concocted an elaborate scheme to escape their vengeance which involved switching bodies with Quentin Collins or (later) Barnabas Collins.

A struggle followed which resulted in a fire, burning the building and presumably destroying both Petofi and Garth Blackwood. This is assumed because Petofi’s glasses were found in the fire, something he could not get far without, and Blackwood was never heard from again (883).

Uh, seriously, why not name this blog The Hand of Count Petofi? A warlock with poor eyesight who wears thick purple frames and a former werewolf whose severed hand holds magical powers? And you only know he’s been destroyed because his glasses are among the remains of a fire? Life ambition right there.

Plus, when you Google Count Petofi, here’s a screenshot of the image results:

I think I’ll start using this as my profile photo on social media:

Angered_Petofi.JPG

I’m a little perplexed as to why this gem of Petofi cuddling under the beloved Afghan that saw so many Dark Shadows characters through so many crises is not among the top images:

Just tell me how to travel to the future already, Barnabas!!!!!

And if you go back to that Google Image Search, you’ll see one of the related search terms is “McCartney.” Whaaaaaat? What does the Cute Beatle have to do with a powerful 19th century warlock?

Nothing, really, just the fact that I’m obsessed with both and have blogged about them. Yep, many of the images that come from clicking on that “related search” come from this blog.

Which brings me back to the original question at hand: Why name this blog The Hand of Count Petofi?

No reason, really, except at the time I started up this blog I must have been in the throes of a Dark Shadows obsession and lovin’ on the 1897 storyline (one of the best). This blog could have just as easily been named RobinGibbsTeeth or FatBrandog or something equally mundane and meaningless. Oh, you bet I’m loopy all right…

Hey, check this out:

Yes, the video is entitled “Count Petofi Does the I-Ching & Chokes Himself.” Guaranteed to improve your quality of life. You’re welcome.

(Try to ignore the ever-annoying Dr. Julia Hoffman and her eye-fluttering and SIGHS — LIFE IS SO HARD AT COLLINWOOD!!! Oh my gosh why didn’t Barnabas choke her when he had the chance? Oh, yeah, SARAH! Ugh.)