“Like everyone who listened to Kidd Kraddick, I’m shocked by his death. Age and circumstance play a part in that. Dying at the age of 53 while playing golf? It’s just — man. Hard to fathom. But more than that, it was his profession. We’re all thinking, But I was just listening to him last week. He can’t be dead. (In an odd coincidence, last week Kidd did a bit called “Deathbed Confessions.”) I was only an occasional listener. There are thousands and thousands of people for whom Kidd was an integral part of their lives.”

“Cindy is, well, still drinking. She started the season getting tanked with Nikki, and ended it at the bar. Her friendship with Leslie suffered some serious blows after Leslie evidently started a rumor (which it totally seems like Connie was the one that actually started it), but there’s nothing a little gin and tonic can’t cure. Right, Cindy? She tried to shed some tears on Sunday but that Dr. A really worked some magic on her. Her forehead of stone showed no movement as she tried to turn on her Botox sprinklers.”

“The land the building sits on was sold to make way for a new CVS Pharmacy. A cursory Google search shows there are already 935 CVS locations in Dallas. Do we really need another? I could argue we would not need so many pharmacies if we had more bars like The Loon. A recent independent study conducted by a senior research analyst shows that stiff drinks and a friendly staff relieve the symptoms of a common cold better than Nyquil.”

“The issue about Craig James and the five purportedly dead hookers left in his wake at SMU has again arisen, with Mike Leach signing one of his books with a funny inscription. Well, a few days ago, I called Craig James’ campaign office in Dallas to get to the bottom of this dead hookers matter. They directed me to James’ spokesperson in Austin, Meredith Turney. What follows is a transcript of our conversation:”

“Chris Kyle was incredible. He was simply an incredible, real-life action hero. Before his death, he was already known as the deadliest sniper in American history and as a best-selling author. Since his death, a few reporters have heard trickles of other stories. Around Midlothian, one story in particular has been raising eyebrows. It goes something like this: when he was first back from Iraq, in 2009, Chris Kyle killed two armed men who were attempting to carjack him at a gas station.”

“You know Richard Rawlings. He’s the guy who hosts that bad@$$ car show, Fast N’ Loud, on the Discovery Channel. He’s the guy who once wore a teeny tiny G-string and called it the photo from “internet hell” when Tim Rogers interviewed him for our September issue. Tats, a tan, and skull rings—you name it, he’s got it. Now he even owns this wooly mammoth-sized restaurant on 10261 Technology Boulevard E in Dallas. The patio is bigger than the indoor dining area.”

“I wanted to call it The Best Dallas Restaurants in Dallas because, to make the task easier, I cut out Tarrant County, which includes Grapevine, and eliminated restaurants that were not born in Dallas (Sorry, Pappas Bros.) I battled myself for months. I started with a database of 1,600 restaurants, which is divided into cuisine categories. I picked the top two or three or ten of each category (obviously some are larger) and put them on a spreadsheet in no particular order. I manipulated the list every day. I asked friends, family, and colleagues for their opinions, and, in some cases, I even listened to them. I have been writing about restaurants for almost 17 years; in the end, I trusted my instincts. My goal was to answer the question I get asked most often: ‘What is the best restaurant in Dallas?’ I gave you my picks. The top 20 places are restaurants where I spend my own money. The cutting room floor is littered with exceptional restaurants.”

“Tomorrow, my little friends and enemies, is the first day of the State Fair of Texas. If you didn’t know this already, you need to get your arteries checked. Make sure they’re squeaky clean before you fill them with grease, grease, and more grease! If you skip out on all the amazing fried goodness that’s new at the State Fair this year, you can’t call yourself a proper Texan. ’CAUSE WE ON THE TEXAS DIET, SON.”