I know that name, and ‘in the list of useless items’…

June 14, 2007

I was checking out the early scores today at the U.S. Open, and I noticed a name – Steve Marino. How do I know that name? Oh yeah, he played golf at W.T. Woodson in our high school’s district! Ha ha! Looks like he’s doing okay for himself as well, judging by over $750,000 in earning this year (his first full year on tour), as well as a T-6 finish as the AT&T Classic. Hopefully this makes our friend Graves feel better than he got his ass whooped by Steve Marino every tournament in high school. Literally, all we heard after every golf tournament was about that douchebag Steve Marino. We heard it so much, in fact, that I remembered his name looking through the U.S. Open scoreboard ten years later.

Also, a few days ago, I go outside to start the rental car we got from the insurance company while our car was being repaired from a seemingly innocent sideswipe/hit and run that left our car sans front bumper. The rental car was a lovely Ford Taurus, a car used by many mid-1990s police stations as squad cars due to (I’d expect) reliability and American-ness. But when I turn the key? Nothing. Maybe that was a mistake, let’s try again.

Nothing.

The RENTAL CAR BROKE DOWN. There’s not one situation I can think of that makes you feel more like an idiot. I had to call the rental agency, get AAA out to jump the car, and return the car immediately. But hey – in exchange for breaking one of their cars, the rental agency gave me two free days of rentals. So despite the fact I have a car, and any rental cars I get from Tyson’s Corner would be in case my car breaks down (and, thus, already paid for), I have two free days of rental cars. So naturally I asked if the two days come with complimentary bridge abutments for me to drive myself into at 60 miles per hour.