I'm Psychic My family is not terribly close. It is not unusal for me to go a month or more without talking to my mother, and even longer with my sister. Unaccountably, as I was drifting off to sleep last night, I got a strange urge to contact my sister. She and her husband have been trying to get pregnant for quite a while now. Months of fertility drugs and constant doctor visits had, up until now yeilded nothing, and yet I was inexplicably siezed by the conviction that she was, in fact, knocked up. I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep, but this odd feeling was not to be denied, so I called her.

My brother-in-law (who is a great guy, despite his love of the Minnesota Vikings) answered the phone. He hesitated when I asked if she was positive yet, then said, "She just walked in the door - I'll put her on." It turns out that she had just talked to her doctor's office a few hours before my call - the blood test they had drawn around lunchtime came back positive in the late afternoon. The expected due date is October 21st.

These newly acquired psychic powers are, no doubt, a cosmic reward for my many years of clean living and self-sacrifice. Yeah, that's it. After a bit more practice, I'm going to drop out of school and move to Vegas - I figure I'll make a fortune betting on sports.

The Ministry hereby decrees that until the gender of the little wog is known, it shall be referred to as the "Dark Niece." I recognize that it could be a Dark Nephew, but I have a "feeling" about this too.

Naturally, I have suggested some possible names.Thumbelina - because every little girl should be so lucky as to have a theme song by the Pretenders.Grizelda - same argument, but a theme song by the Monkees will have a very different impact on a kid's life...Amidala - who doesn't want to be royalty?Lucille - mostly so that later in her life we can all say, "Joo got some 'splainin' to do Lucy."Pookie - my sister has been saddled with this nickname her whole life. It's likely that the Dark Niece will be stuck with it too - why not make it official? Besides, "Pookie Johnson" really rolls off the tongue nicely.My sister has been remarkably unresponsive to this list of Pope Tested, Ministry Approved names...

In other news, we have a new entry in the logo contest... This fine effort comes to us from another out-of-town member of the Flock, Mischief. The Artist Theolaureate has promised us an entry, and I expect that a few more are brewing out there... soon we will have to begin the voting.