“People like to think they are experts on things they think they know,” Kharitonov says. “I beat Alistair (Overeem) and (Fabricio) Werdum and (accomplished) that at a time when my stand-up skills were not 25 percent (of) what (they are) now. You do the math.”

In fact, the Russian-paratrooper-turned-Golden-Glory-kickboxer says a bunch of totally badass stuff to Tapology. Stuff that only becomes more badass when you imagine him saying it in monotone, heavily-accented English like a certain 1980s movie villain we could mention. Case-in-point, Kharitonov’s message for first-round opponent Andrei Arlovski: “I will break you.” That’s right, he said it.

If you didn’t believe us when we told you that Tim Sylvia is a part-time cop in Illinois, maybe the ride-along video above will convince you.

Notice that the department made Big Tim shave off his goatee and those trademark mutton chops — not because they have a dress code, just because they thought he looked ridiculous. Rumor has it they eventually made him stop wearing his Powerhouse World Promotions heavyweight strap while on duty, too.

The former UFC heavyweight champ’s worries that nobody would recognize him were soon squashed.

"I”ve been recognized a few times pulling guys over," he explains. "Some guys when I pull up and ask for their license, registration, insurance, they’re like, ‘Are you Tim Sylvia?’ and I’m like, ‘Yeah.’ ‘That’s cool, man. I just got pulled over by Tim Sylvia,’ and I’m like, ‘Well, be safe, slow down and have a good day.’"

(Remember when Sergei Kharitonov sent Alistair Overeem‘s lifeless body through the ropes at K-1 Hero’s 10? No? Then you really need to watch these videos…)

In our excitement for Strikeforce’s potentially insane heavyweight tournament, one point seems to be getting lost in the narrative — namely, that these guys have already fought each other many, many times before. Five of the eight competitors (Werdum, Arlovski, Overeem, Emelianenko, Rogers) have previously faced at least three other fighters in the tournament field. Fabricio Werdum has actually fought everyone except Brett Rogers and Josh Barnett, and only Barnett himself has managed to go his entire career without bumping up against anybody else in this year’s bracket.

All told, there’s eleven twelve fights worth of shared history among the Strikeforce HWGP competitors, dating back over five years. To help you study for the quarterfinals next month, we’ve posted them all below in chronological order…

UPDATE: We originally forgot to include Fabricio Werdum’s decision win over Antonio Silva. So actually, there have been 12 previous meetings, not 11. The video has now been added.

Strikeforce has just released the bracket for their clusterfuctacular heavyweight tournament, which should clear up some of the conflictingreports about who’s fighting who. What it doesn’t specify is when these fights are taking place. We know that Emelianenko vs. Silva and Arlovski vs. Kharitonov are both happening February 12th in New Jersey. Overeem/Werdum and Barnett/Rogers are tentatively slated to go down in April, exact date and location TBA. And the semi-finals and finals? Your guess is as good as ours, bro. With a little bit of luck, this entire dirty business will be settled by the time President Trump takes office.

(Personally, I think that getting all these guys together for a single-night tournament is the only way you can insure that the semi-finals and finals will actually take place, but we’re trying to stay positive here. For what it’s worth, Scott Coker is adamant that Josh Barnett’s licensing issues will not bar him from competing in the GP.)

The San Jose, California-based promotion revealed to Sherdog over the weekend three of its planned quarter final bouts.

According to the report, Fedor Emelianenko will look to rebound from the only legitimate loss of his career when he takes on Antonio "Bigfoot" Silva and Andrei Arlovski will attempt to disprove all of his detractors who feel the Belarusian fighter would be better suited to play a henchman in b-movies when he locks horns with Josh Barnett at the Izod Center in East Rutherford, New Jersey on February 12.

("Look, Brandon, I’m sorry. If you take your hand away, I promise I won’t slap you in the face again." / Photo courtesy of MMAFighting)

UPDATE: A clip of Silva playing Vera like a bongo has been added to the end of this post…check it out while it lasts.

The third round of Thiago Silva vs. Brandon Vera at UFC 125 represented one of the most humiliating beat-downs in recent MMA history, as Silva seemingly got tired of punching Vera about midway through the round and just started slapping him in the face until the fight was over. With Vera’s job likely on the line that night, it was the worst possible final impression to leave with his bosses — as if that mangled schnozz wasn’t enough.

After the fight, top light-heavyweight contender Jon Jones fired up Twitter and posted the following: "Wow that slapping was so disrespectful.. id love to give him a slap in the face…Dominating someone in a fight is 1 thing, looking to simply humiliate them is another..Traditional martial artist always seemed to show honor and respect.. Anyways what’s done is done, I’m headed to the gym to make sure nothing like that ever happens to me."

We say: Eff the haters, Thiago. You’ve just joined a very select group of MMA fighters who have demonstrated their dominance through slapping and spanking. The other members of the MMA Bitch-Slap Hall of Fame are after the jump…

(The signs that something was off with Vyacheslav were there for some time, but nobody realized he was nuts until it was too late.)

Insane former MMA fighter and mental hospital escapee, Vyacheslav Datsik has been denied asylum in Norway and will be extradited back to his Russian homeland where he will face additional charges, including unlawfully escaping custody, trespassing and illegal arms possession.

According to officials, the deciding factor in not granting him refuge in the Northern European country was the weapons offense, which came about after he surrendered two handguns to police when he turned himself in September 21.

"We are currently preparing the documents for his [Datsik's] extradition on charges of illegal possession of arms" Oeyvind Nordgaren from the Oslo Police District’s organized crime unit said.

At this stage in Andrei Arlovski’s career, brainstorming new and interesting ways to get punched really hard in the face sounds (at least to me) like a fairly questionable move. Given that two of Arlovski’s last three MMA fights and three of his last five losses have ended with him taking unscheduled naps in the middle of the ring, conventional wisdom tells us a punch-and-kick only contest would be the last thing the former UFC champ would want to get involved in. Nonetheless, Arlovski is rumored to be booked to make his K-1 kickboxing debut on Oct. 2 in Seoul, Korea, at least according to something Michael Schiavello shouted (then tweeted) during Friday night’s King of the Cage broadcast.

(No, Overeem will not be fighting…but enough about that. Have have you all seen our new hex-shaped cage. I call it the Sexagon.)

In a bizarre move, DREAM Executive Producer Keiichi Sasahara addressed the media today in an attempt to quell the rumors regarding Alistair Overeem dropping out of the event, but refused to discuss the reason for the Dutch fighter’s withdrawal, effectively doing little more than fuelling further speculation.

"Towards the end of the negotiations, because of reasons that I am not able to tell you, although the two fighters agreed to fight, it happened that these fighters could not fight. It’s not because of money, but if the reasons are something that I cannot tell you then you might be able to guess what they would be. Because of that, we are not able to have these two fighters fight.We really wanted Alistair [Overeem] to fight. Today, unfortunately it is not happening so we will only have seven fights. I have to apologize to the fans who have been looking forward to seeing Alistair fight in Japan. I’m sorry."

On May 17, 2010, the Potato Index becomes self-aware. Human decisions are removed from post-fight analysis. In a panic, CagePotato’s editors try to pull the plug. The Potato Index fights back. It launches its arbitrary numerical ranking system against the fighters of this weekend’s Strikeforce show. There are no survivors.

Alistair Overeem+265, pending result of drug test The Demolition Man said he had nothing to prove in his fight against Brett Rogers, but he proved a hell of a lot: First, that he can compete in the U.S. against opponents who aren’t hand-picked victims. Second, that he’s absolutely one of the best heavyweights in the world. The way he tossed the Grim to the mat like a child and didn’t waver in his assault until the job was finished suggested that a fight between him and Fedor could actually be…competitive? Unfortunately, his criticism of Emelianenko’s management following the event has some validity. Just because the fight should happen doesn’t necessarily mean it will.

Brett Rogers-210 Apparently you need more than just heavy hands to hang with the division’s elite. Rogers offered nothing in this fight other than a large surface for punching; he never had a chance to enact any sort of gameplan, and his attempts to kick Overeem off of him and create an escape route were completely swallowed up. He’ll need a tune-up match against a lower-level prospect if Strikeforce hopes to restore some value to his name. Lavar Johnson sounds about right.