Recall the worst acting you've ever seen in any adult
feature and you've got the acting in Girls Of The Bamboo
Palace. Just try to keep a straight face when Don
Fernando tells you how he's an investigative reporter and
that orientals are taking over the U.S. Try not to laugh when
Blake Palmer proves that eight years' experience in over 200
films and videos has taught him nothing about delivering
lines or having sex on camera. "I will get to the bottom of
this," says Don with a conviction of someone saying that the
garbage isn't full so the can doesn't have to go out. The sex
scenes are just as ridiculous. Slow motion is used as Kimi
"Squeaky" Gee/Tony Montana stint to ill-effect; and Jade East
could have used jumper cables to get David Sanders to show
some life. The story goes nowhere, the sex is limp and the
performances are laughable. But the box is pretty.