Family Life

I have 3 beautiful daughters. 2 of them I actually gave birth to. They each have a different story.

Takota: Takota, is the oldest. She just turned 14 this month. She is my husbands first child from a past relationship. Honestly she has just recently come into our lives. She reminds me of myself as a child. Struggling to know who she is because of not knowing her father. I feel that us being in each others lives is a blessing in disguise. 🙂 As with most teens though she struggles with communicating and feels like no one cares. So, this has been a new challenge in my life trying to help her realize that she does belong somewhere and that people do care about her. She is a very smart girl and is in honors classes at her school. The only hard thing is that she is reserved and stays to herself in some ways, especially if it’s anything personal. Which,thinking back I was that way too and some of it for me trust issues.

Kiara: Kiara, is the middle child also,my oldest. She just turned 11 this past March. Kiara, lives with her father 9 hours away. She is just about to enter middle school and is learning that her body is changing lol. Next year she will be starting middle school and because she’s a straight A student they will be letting her in role into honors classes. She has the I know everything attitude which, sometimes makes me mad but, laugh at the same time because I know she gets it honestly. 🙂 Her father and I were never married and when she was born we were not together so, to her our family life style is normal. But, since, my husband and I had a baby, and her dad and other mom have had two baby’s, she has had new questions. Like, “why are my parents not together?” Which, was never a problem before so, now we try to help her understand that she is still just as important and that she gets to escape from each household lol 🙂 where as her siblings arestuck hahaha.

Savannah: Savannah is my 16 month old little girl. She is my husband and I’s baby. She started walking at 10 months and has been a tornado ever since lol. 🙂 Already, she has quite the personality and mix between the other two girls, her dad, and I. Let’s just say at times that can be a big handful but, she can make you smile even when you don’t want to. She is still struggling with what no means lol. Also, learning that dog food is her favorite snack which, I will be sharing as a story with her future friends. The best part of being a parent is sharing the embarrassing stories lol. She is starting to talk more and learning knew words everyday. Funny insight about her is that she is afraid of men who don’t have a lot of hair or a beard lol. Her dad is bald with facial hair and I am assuming if a man doesn’t have facial hair she believes she can’t trust them. Idk why she likes men with long hair the only thing I can think is that she possibly thinks they are women lol. No offense to men with long hair, it’s just the only thing that makes sense to me.

Well, those are my Girls and the loves of my life along with my goofy husband of course. 🙂

If your a family that is split up into different homes or maybe soon to be split up then, these tips are for you. As I have previously stated my family is a multi- split family. What I mean by that is: My husband has a 14 year old daughter from a previous relationship in life, I have an 11 year old daughter from a past relationship, and we have a 14 month old daughter together. In today’s world this has become more and more common. It’s not that I am promoting it because trust me I wish we weren’t a split family. It’s just that these things do happen and it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. You can make it work and more importantly make it work for your children. Who by the way didn’t ask to be put in between whatever happened in your relationship/s.

Here are a few tips on how to make this type of family work:

Forgive: whatever happened in your relationship that caused you to split leave it behind. Forgive each other and move on things happen. We all make mistakes and or sometimes it just wasn’t meant to be. Do not keep your child away from the other parent unless for good reason. For example: other parent is abusive or on drugs. Him/ Her having a new significant other is no excuse get over it. That is just jealousy and do you really want to keep your child from their parent who loves them over your jealousy? No!

Agree on household Rules: Do not try to play the good parent your only hurting your kids and without realizing it you are making your children dislike one of their parents. Wrong and when they get older they will realize it and then it will take some time for them to forgive you for hurting them like that. For example: if dad does not like your child watching R rated movies and staying up past 9 then make that same rule in your house.

Communicate: don’t assume that whatever your child says is the truth. Not that your kids lie it’s just that sometimes they do not fully understand and they repeat things wrong etc. For example: My daughter told her father that I didn’t give her a bath in the 4 weeks she was here lol. He got mad of course which, I did not give her a bath the whole time she was here, she took showers lol. He didn’t ask her if she had showers.

Spend time together as one big family: go to a park, out to eat, to a movie, etc. For Example: My husbands 14 year old daughter wanted to go to a haunted hay ride for Halloween and her mom wanted to take her. My husband had to work but, I wanted to go too so, I went with with her and met up with her mom and her mom’s boyfriend and 3 other children. We had a blast and I got to know her mom, mom’s boyfriend, and her 3 other siblings. Which, is a part of her too.

One of my daughters lives 9 hrs away with her father. This is going on year 6 with her dad. She just turned 11 this past March.

Being a parent in a separate household is hard but, being a parent 9 hrs away is pretty tough to me. Especially, when it comes to rules. Which, is why communication is key. I don’t get to see or participate at school functions, games, or any other extra curricular activity she may be signed up for. But, I do make sure to call once or twice a week to see how she’s doing and to check on grades etc. These phone calls are important to both her and me. She gets to tell me how she’s doing, what’s new, how her grades are, and if she has any issues that she only wants to talk to mom about. And, I get to hear her voice and smile at how grown up she’s sounding.

Recently when I called I found out that she made all A’s and 4’s on her report card. That she is learning about the changes her body is having. Which, luckily when I went up to visit her for her birthday last month we talked a little bit about. So, I asked her if she had anymore questions about her body and we talked a little bit about that and how she’s noticing boys. Which, I am not ready for but, I know needs to be discussed. She let me know how softball is going, which, it’s been raining a lot so they haven’t got to do much. I am able to tell her I know that because I am on the coaches text list so, I get the messages about practices being canceled due to weather. This makes her feel like I am involved even though I am not there with her.

I then ask her if she has been good and she usually tells the truth lol. It’s funny because I don’t have to ask her dad or her other mom since, she tells on herself. Which, I used to do as a kid too. But, that doesn’t stop me from talking with them and asking how they choose to punish because as your children grow older punishments should change too. Plus this keeps us on the same page of our parenting technique and we can discuss how we both would like situations handled.

It’s that time of year when we send her a care package. We Usually try to send one in the spring before school lets out and in the fall a month after school starts. These packages are fun to make and easy to do. Which, also helps her know that I do care and that I do pay attention to what she likes.

As parents we all know that getting a little time out alone is sometimes more difficult than we realize. But, we also have to remember to take time for ourselves. I usually do so by going shopping, grocery shopping, getting hair done, and sleeping haha just kidding.

I needed a day out friends, some actual adult conversations. I love my kids but, there are just some things I cannot tell or share with them. So, My friend Krystle, my sister Jessica, and I all decided to go to the mall. Now, mind you we were actually shopping for our kids. My sister has two boys she wanted to get some clothes for and I had to get clothes for 2 of my girls. You may ask, “If your shopping for your kids, then why don’t you take them?” Well, my answer to you is simple. “We needed a day out to ourselves and as parents who care about our children and their interests, we are already know what they like. Also, going to the mall with your kids is a bad idea especially if your only planning on getting them a few things.

My sister and I had coupons for The Children’s Place so, of course that is where we went. we purchased 160 dollars worth of clothes for 4 kids. I can’t even leave Wal-mart or the grocery store without spending 250-300 dollars. Which, is another reason why we didn’t take the kids. Because it turns into but, I want this, I want that, and why don’t you ever let me get what I want? I love my kids but, it’s true sometimes they can act a little ungrateful. Like I said before though you can get them things without them if you pay attention to their likes and dislikes. Then when you return home from your peaceful day out they will be happy and excited that you thought of them and brought them home something. Which, in turn I believe teaches them to also, think more about others while they are out and about.

Remember just because the old saying, “do as your told not as I do.” is still popular does not mean it works. Parents what you do and say is what your children typically do and say, maybe not around you but, they do. I remember being a child and yes, I learned from my parents. I’m not saying it was all bad but, kids pick up on the bad things we do too. We can only dream that they only pick up our good habits.

In all our day out was a success. We were able to talk, laugh, and shop without interruptions, whining, and being climbed on. I did of course give the baby a hug and cuddled with her when I got home because I missed her. The other 2 girls our not home or I would have cuddled them to lol. But, in all I was refreshed, rejuvenated, and I didn’t come home feeling more exhausted and I saved money.

My name is Angel Bradley. I decided to do The 30 Day Blog Challenge because I’ve always wanted to do a blog to help people like myself. I belong to a multi-split family. My husband and I together have 3 beautiful daughters. Our Daughters 14, 11, and 16 months old. Only the 16 month old lives full-time with us. The 14 year old is My husbands first Daughter she lives with Grandma for now. The 11 year old is my first daughter and she is going on her 6th year living with her dad. But, we see them all 3 as ours even though we have to share them.

I am starting this blog as a way to reach out to people who are in the same situation as myself and need help, advice, and ideas how to make these types of homes work. Sharing is not easy at time especially when it comes to sharing our children. But, that seems to be growing into a more and more typical “Family Life Today”. Along the way I will share how this dysfunctional family is actually very functional; we honestly shock people all the time with our success as one huge family. I also share:

how to get along with the other parents

how to spend time as one big family (as it is very important for the kids)

tips on things not to do (like do not ever talk bad about the other parent to your kids)

advice on some of our parenting tricks which, we are still learning ourselves. No one is perfect and children do not come with a manual unfortunately.

I will also be providing some of my favorite recipes.

and a few other basic/fun things and ideas.

Our 11 year old daughters is actually very much accustom to this type of family life. She has never known her mommy and daddy together as in life sometimes these things happen. Yes, she has asked several questions and we have done our best to answer those questions. We also, try to answer them as she grows since, there are some things a 5 yr old will not understand versus a 8 yr old etc. Age appropriate answers are very crucial to a young mind. We also do not want our children to grow up to fast or feel overwhelmed with adult knowledge. Life in the Bradley household is always busy but, we wouldn’t know how to nor would we want to live any other way.

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Hello & Welcome

Hi, my name is Angel Bradley. I am a wife and a mother to 3 beautiful girls. I work part-time as a black jack dealer. I love to cook, hike, and anything that gets my family involved. My life is always busy so, I am always trying to find new ways to keep the every day stuff at a minimum so I can spend more time with my family. Faster food ideas, cleaning ideas etc.