Saturday, November 14, 2015

So yeah, three months without so much as a peep save for my twitter. Now, this isn't indie game related, so if you came to see what I'm doing game wise you'll be disappointed. This is more of a personal bit here that I don't mind sharing with people.

Been very occupied with other things, trying new ideas and learning new things while being very occupied with my day job, mainly going down my long list of self improvement. Finishing a videogame was one of them, though while it's not doing as well as I would have hoped, sometimes it takes time to get noticed. Don't get me wrong, I WANT to do more. However, I do want to take a small break from game making to pursue other interests.

Did a thing for Dodge-Fu, which I still have a prototype but I'm considering making it a free facebookish browser game that I might be able to sell if it gets popular enough. As a matter of fact, that will probably be my next venture... see if I can make something and sell it to a bigger company.

I'm thankful I saw Baxter's Venture to the end since most projects I tend to quit when losing interest or get heavily discouraged... because that's a thing that's been hindering any form of success for as long as I can remember. It prompted me to start on other things on myself that are long over due.

Current self-improvement project: Me losing weight and getting in shape.

Now, while I'm not morbidly obese, I am fat. Well, not as much NOW as I have dropped a good 20 pounds since mid September. Thought I lost that much in a week, turns out it was a broken scale. I was getting heavy over the summer, eating what I wanted and not caring because of finally being free and independent since 2013. Went up to 255lb which is pretty bad for a 5' 10" guy. Might of been higher, so mid September I started ditching processed foods, sugars, and breads and started eating more veggies, whole grains, fruits, and lean meats. Went back to 2% milk, swiss cheese, and greek yogurt for my dairy fix. Green tea instead of coffee because I always had to have those fattening creams and sugars in my coffee.

While it's a "no-shit-Sherlock" thing to do, it's something I should of done a long time ago. Been a large man my whole life, growing up poor or having overweight people around you it's difficult to eat healthy when all they want is bad food, so it becomes a habit, especially since I was the one having to do all the grocery shopping for three people. As of now however I currently weigh 235 and packing on muscle at the same time, so the number is dropping slow, but steady. I actually look almost thin, with bits of fat poking out so it's only a matter of months before I look healthy.

For example, I have large shirts that I couldn't wear. XL would barely hide my gut... now my Large shirts are getting looser by the week, XLs look way too big on me now. For giggles, I wore a medium shirt... fit's pretty well, though its snug around my biceps and chest.

I work out six days a week since the beginning of October. 30mins of weights for three days, 30mins of cardio/HIIT for three days alternating between the two and I'm already seeing results as now the middle of November. (Thanks Body Project!!) Hoping by the end of this year, I'll be down to the 220s and looking lean and muscular, and I'll continue to go further until I see my abs. It's becoming a bit of an addiction.

Been buying weights for home use, since a gym would take up too much of my time... though I'm reconsidering it.

Next self-improvement project: Getting back out there in the public!

This one is a bit loaded. The whole point of losing the weight and getting in shape is to boost my confidence level over 9000 points. (old meme, don't care, sue me) The confidence I need to make new friends and relationships, and new career opportunities. End game is moving out of this small Arizona town for good.

I'm 35, put myself in a rut going to college at 23 and getting a degree I can't use anymore and in debt that makes it difficult to save. Naturally, I bought this on myself because last decade the internet wasn't that big and no where near enough information to prevent me from making the decision to enroll in the Art Institute. It's not even a career path I really want to pursue anymore. Not even sure if I can attend a grad school of my choice now... but that's okay. Mistakes have been made, need to move on.

I've been considering doing Youtube for fun... been saying it for months but there seems to be a crippling doubt on doing it due to my age. I mean, who wants to watch a 35 year old nobody play/talk about videogames? Maybe pursue voice acting? Vblog about nothing but random topical humor and geek culture? Honestly I have to consider my age and audience and expand beyond videogames while making videogaming be part of it. To be blunt, my interest in gaming has waned due to lack of time and enthusiasm but I still love playing them, but I can do so much more now that my interests have widened.

Examples (current): Cooking, learning studies, topical interests,

Examples (to come): Learning new languages (fumbling), video editing

The angle is similar to Seinfeld, talk about nothing but it's something people could be entertained or even learn a bit.

My equipment isn't very good, but I'll have to make due with what I have... if I can get a good camera, I'll be set.

Next, NEXT self-improvement project: Getting back into drawing.

My neglected talent... traded it to learn how to make videogames, it became stagnant so I have to retrain myself. I want to take another stab at creating a comic series, but this time instead of in color I want to see if black and white will do. Don't have many details, but I've been inspired by the Boondocks, Venture Bros, and Modern Archie to make something cool and fun.

I've let rejections from publications and other artists discourage me from this goal, which I need to go back and improve and try harder. Flaked out on collabs due to lack of interest which I'm not proud of. Found out I actually still like drawing cartoons, and perhaps it's something I should of never gave up on.