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(Number 5/5) Read the other blogs before this 1-4

So I’m 40 years old, was on Tinder but I then met Tinder Tom (TT) and I have now been “seeing” him for 9 weeks. Hmm doesn’t actually sound long but we have been talking for more like 12 weeks!

Things have been going well. We have been out for dinners, drinks and TT even helped me choose my new TV, we have shopped in Curry’s together (very coupley) and I’ve cooked for him. Well I use that term loosely – I’ve tried to cook for him. And recently he carried my Christmas tree home for me. Tinder was a numbers game but my number had definitely come up.

We are still using our little pet names of Bond and MMP to banter and tease. Comms are going well. Tinder is a mere memory and I’ve started to admit to friends that I like this one. They are pleased and you can tell they are crossing their fingers that this one is a goodun and works out well.

He scores high on the checklist, ticking most boxes. He seems to be as good as they get. I still think back to that sliding doors moment where I could have swiped left but decided on right – who would have known what could develop from an innocent hello, how are you message?

I love our conversations when he drives home up North, we laugh, and we joke. There’s something about TT that draws me in. That accent gets me everytime.;0) My friends can tell I’ m smitten and start liking the sound of TT. They haven’t met him yet but I’m hoping they will soon.

It was TT’s birthday when he was away for work and so I wanted to send him something special – out of the norm. I love the film “Love actually” and secretly I’ve always wanted to go to someone’s house and run through the cards and tell someone how I felt. Like Mark did to Juliet in that scene – you know the one, when he tells her… To me you are perfect. So lovely. – gets me every time

Anyway I wasn’t going to go that far as to tell TT he was perfect but thought I would use the concept to wish him a happy birthday! So I set myself up, wrote my script, made the video and I even lined up Stevie Wonders, Happy Birthday to play in the background! There you go Bond. A special message from MMP x.

I sent it. He loved it. All was good. Smile on my face. MMP and Bond forever ;0)

Maybe it is now time I thought about ditching the Bridget Jones pants. We are a real couple or so I thought.

Final swipe from Tinder Tom

2 weeks later

Bam..My phone goes off at 01:30 in the morning. I’m sleepy so can’t quite work out what it is – I first think its my alarm but then I focus and see TT’s smiley face as his face pops up on my screen when he calls and with his pet name Bond 007 calling. Love it. So cute.

Hello he says… hmm I thought .. a drunk TT?. I can tell he’s drunk as his normal melt me accent is now a little slurred. And then he just says it. Like a bolt out the blue. No warning. Its over. He doesn’t want it anymore. There is no spark. He’s not wanting it and wants to tell me. He says its him but he can’t get past the friendship part with me. He loves spending time with me and has had a great time but no spark. I thank him for being honest.

Then he passes out and the line goes dead. That’s it. It’s over..

The night then passes so slowly as I digest what TT has just said to me. My mind going into overdrive. I tell myself to not get upset. He’s not worth it and it[s his loss. But in reality I’m wired. I look back through the last few messages we had – Did I say something wrong, could I have seen this coming?

I feel sick, I feel like I’ve been punched in my stomach. The tears start rolling as I look back through the messages, the photo gallery, play the Birds of Tokyo song and remember all the good times. How could Tinder Tom just pull the rug on all that? In a short space of time we had made so many memories and now they had gone. Had it all meant nothing to him? I cuddled Ness and remembered that first swipe, that first date, the Bond weekend and the weekend in Derby. Gutted. Was this end of Tinder Tom?

I felt sad. I missed our chats. I missed our Banter. Bond had broken MMP’s heart ;0(. I now had to tell my friends and family yet again it was a fail.

So has it put me off Tinder? For now, yes but has it put me off my quest? No way.

It’s just the Tinder horse – you get on , you get thrown off and you get back on again. Ok I may not be up for that right now – but one day soon ill get back on the Tinder horse again . Oh look Tinder Tim has just messaged. ….