I thought I had a video of our 20 year old cockatiel masturbating to the toon of one of Barry White's songs, but apparently I don't anymore. Anyway, the motherfarker we have is like a farking dynamo every day grinding his bird perch. I don't know how old 20 years of real years equates to human years, if there is such a thing, but I sure hope I'm envious of Melvin!

ruinevil:Since she worked in a cotton factory, she also could have hadthis.

That was my first thought. Related/similar lung diagnosis + "retired cotton mill worker" = probably a little diagnosis nudge by the company, so they don't have to pay $$$$ to victims of poor working conditions.

FTFA:The grandmother's death in November 2011 was at first thought to be due to industrial disease

Dr. Parkinson declared:"I'm not surprised to see you here.You've got smoker's cough from smoking,Brewer's droop from drinking beer.And I don't know how you came to havethat 'Bette Davis' wheeze butworst of all, young man,you've got industrial disease!"

She's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'er to the chair she'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Er metabolic processes are now 'istory! She's off the twig! She's kicked the bucket, She's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARENT!!

My grandma and her husband, Art, had an African Grey parrot named Petey. They also owned two huge Dobermans. They lived in rural upstate NY way back in a cul-de-sac. On the very rare occasions someone drove past their house, the Dobies would spring in to action, running out to the deck, barking their guts out.

As they ran past Petey's cage, Petey would yell, 'HEY! GET BACK IN HERE! SHUT THE FARK UP! HEY, HEY GODDAMINT" in Art's voice...that was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my 10-year old life.