Sunday, October 12, 2008

That is all I am asking. Instead of celebrating my birthday on July 12th can I change in to October 31st? I am not asking to change the year just the date. I do not think that is much to ask. It would make me very happy. My friend and old roommate's birthday is October 21st. She would have a Halloween Birthday cake every year! I have always been jealous of that I think it is so cool to have black cats, ghost, and tombstones on your cake. It just makes my face light up with joy to think about a cool birthday/Halloween cake.

See I have never been one to really celebrate my birthday. Growing up birthdays were never really a big deal. My birthday is in the summer and everyone always forgot my birthday. As a kid, it bothered me some but now as an adult it doesn't hurt my feelings at all. My best friend Adrian and I have that in common. Her birthday is July 17th and no one ever remembered her birthday either. It is funny at what bonds people in life. I don't remember exactly what brought Adrian and I together but I do know birthdays are one of the many many things that has kept our friendship going for... I dont know around 26 years.....

I am planning on writing a letter to explain my case but I am not sure what governmental agency to direct it too. I mean come on... people change names, social security numbers, and even their complete identities. Can I just change the date of my birthday?

Saturday, October 11, 2008

This woman scares the "B-Jesus" out of me! Dont ask me where "B-Jesus" came from. I am thinking my old college roommate Michelle. She always uses great words I've never heard of like "Home Skillet". etc.. Back to this Hot Mess!

I love me some Nancy Grace. I am thinking, of getting a framed photo of her and hanging it the baby's nursery. But I dont know if it would inspire my child or cause her to have nightmares. I am still thinking on this.

Nancy in my opinion is what a southern woman is all about. She is funny, witty, stands for justice, and will put you in your place in a quick second. Dont mess with her! Nancy is someone you want on your side. She is certainly not someone you want as an enemy. She will take you down.

I am a dork. I watch some of her show nightly just to watch her interrupt people and tell those defense attorneys that their client is guilty no matter how they spin it. I absolutely love it when she rolls her eyes at her guest. I just want to to high five her.

I do laugh at the callers that call in. The calls always start with "Hello, Nancy. I just love looking at pictures of your twins they are so beautiful, I am so glad to get through to speak with you, Thanks for all you do for Victims". Nancy loves the compliment. You can tell it makes her whole day.

I am planning to visit the show one day or send in my picture for my birthday. She will say "Happy Birthday my friend from Georgia". I cant wait until that day comes. I am thinking about calling in today and ask for a signed autographed picture. I bet if I told the phone screeners my intentions with her photo I would get through and get to speak to Ms. Grace. Of course, I would start my conversation off with " I just love seeing pictures of you and the twins and thanks for all you do for victims".

My old neighbor friend Vera told me she called in everyday but could never get through. I think I might go over and see her one night and we will both give it a shot.

Friday, October 10, 2008

I cant believe I am having a child.. I blame my friend Stacie for the pregnancy along with my Dr.

Ya see Stacie is a fitness queen. She is several years older than me but you would never know it. Stacie truly lives like her body is a temple. She exercises and eats right. She could beat any twenty year old in a race. I know people that know me are wondering what in the world we have in common. It certainly isn't the eating right or exercising that brought us together. We taught across the hall from one another for several years and it was by far the most fun I have ever had at a job. Our buddy Hampt was there also. I will introduce you to him at another time. I have lots of stories to share about Hampt i.e. How he saved my life,his obsession with Angelina Jolie, and my personal favorite "Free My Dogs"...

Stacie is the reason I am pregnant today. I have never blamed her or thanked her for being responsible for my pregnancy. So when she reads this she will be shocked! I cant wait! :)

Stacie is a quite, witty, responsible, and a reasonable person. She has many more outstanding qualities too many to name here. The one I value most is she is not judgemental. I know, again we are an odd combo.Stacie comes across as very quiet but when you get to know her she is so different. I think she is more outgoing than I have ever thought about being. She is always making new friends and planning for all of us to go out and eat or have a drink.

Okay.. back to the topic. To start the "Stacie got me pregnant journey".. The first step is that she introduced me to my doctor. Which you will hear how important the dr. has been in my life throughout my blog I am sure.

As I mentioned before Stacie is an exercise queen but she is not a pushy exercise queen. I admire Stacie and with her encouragement I trucked myself to a Pilates class. While at my first and only Pilates class I started having major pain. I made it through the class because I am not a quitter which is the only reason I made it.

The next day which was a Saturday I couldn't get out of bed. My pain continued throughout the weekend. Luckily, I had a dr.'s appointment on Monday already. I went to the dr.'s appointment with great pain and terrible fashion sense. I will never forget what I looked liked when I went into the dr. 's office. I had on Yoga pants, flip flops, unbrushed hair, no make up and the best part of my nice looking outfit is the Prince concert T-shirt that I had slept in the night before. I apologized to the dr. I said "normally I match my clothes and brush my hair". My dr. stated "Well, coming in her like that gains you more sympathy". :) I was examined and she decided I had endometriosis and would have surgery in 2 days. The surgery was successful and I didn't lose an ovary like we thought might happen. I recovered and moved on with my life. I never went to Pilates again because as I have told Stacie many many times "Pilates almost killed me one time.".. any excuse I can come up with I will use it to get out of exercise..:) I am pretty sure Stacie has caught on to all of my excuses.

My surgery happened in June 2007. Fast Forward to May 2008- I was back to thinking about going to exercise with Stacie again. Summer is here and she just joined a cool gym and she is taking a "Spinning Class". I went through a short lived exercise phase in Bama when I lived with my parents. I joined a gym and exercised daily and I took a spin class there which I enjoyed.

I decided to go to spin with Stacie one early Saturday morning and I enjoyed it. I had made plans to go again the next Saturday Morning at 8. Stacie and I had talked about it the night before and we planned on meeting at the gym. Well I was a no show.

School was out the day before and I spent 6 hours at Happy Hour with Hampt and the crew. Yes, that is not a typo 6 hours. So I wasnt feeling my best Saturday morning anyway. Sometime after the happy hour I told Jason that maybe I am pregnant. He panicked and went out and bought three pregnancy tests which I refused to take after the 6 hour Happy Hour. Which I feel is still a wise decision on my part.

After refusing to taking a pregnancy test the day before, I finally gained the courage to take it Saturday morning. No, Stacie I wasn't trying to get out of "spinning class". :) or maybe I was..

Needless to say we all know how those results came out. Stacie had called me Saturday morning but I didnt have the guts to answer the phone. I waited until later in the evening and I returned her call. Stacie started fussing at me a little bit she said "where were you this morning, you told me you were coming, we talked about it yesterday". It felt like she said that over and over again for 10 minutes which I know she didnt it just felt that way. Stacie finished giving me a tough time and she is patiently waiting on a response from me. I blurt out "I'm Pregnant". It felt like the phone dropped along with her mouth I am sure and after what felt like another 10 minutes of silence (which it wasnt). She said "Ohhhh.....MY........GOD!" I said " That is exactly what I said when All three test came back positive! I dont remember the conversation afterwards I draw a blank after I blurted out those words I thought I would never ever say.

Here is how Stacie got me pregnant.1. She introduced me to a GREAT DR. who listens and cares and has a great sense of humor!2. She encouraged me to go to Pilates for my back pain which brought my endometriosis front and center.3. She wanted me to go to "Spinning Class" with her that Saturday Morning but to get out a "Spinning" class I decided to take a pregnancy test instead.:)

Thank you Stacie for being a good friend and Thank you for getting me Pregnant! :) This is my blog of the day! Love, Bamaslammer

I watched most of the Debate between Mr. McCain and Osama oh.. I mean OBama... just a typo (but I am keeping it). I regret devoting anytime to watching the debate at all. I am a nosey person so I couldn't resist tuning in just to see what they both had to say.

To be honest, all I heard was blah, blah, blah, blah, "I will not raise your taxes", blah, blah,.. Between the blah's I would catch a phrase or two such as "All Americans need Health Care". What I really hear is "Bamaslammer -hey you pay your healthcare let's add on three more families to yours". Yes, people need healthcare I am in no mood to pay for other peoples and I absolutely do not believe in "Universal Healthcare". Anyone that has ever had a very sick family member understands why.

I also kept hearing "the Bailout".. How I have interrupted the "bailout" is that I must now pay higher taxes to save other people's houses who made bad deals. To solve all of these issues without raises taxes is an impossibility. As usual, the hardworking middle class will suffer the most.

I am not impressed with either of the gentlemen to be honest. I am not sure if it is burnout or I am just so sad at how we treat individuals who try to to do the right things in life, work hard, pay bills, and would do whatever they had to do to provide for their family. I am so tired of picking up the slack for individuals who do not want to do better or improve their life. Where is the fair and the justice? Why must I have less to pay for others dumb decisions ??

I dont know who should be President. I do know neither of them should be. I am planning on writing in someone.. any suggestions on who I should write in?

Monday, October 6, 2008

This is BayLee the cat. BayLee is my child and has been for about seven years. I dearly love him. He wakes me up in the morning and escorts me out the door to my car. When I come home he greets me in the parking lot and escorts me back inside the condo. BayLee fights off any type intruder that he feels might bring harm to the household. He is loyal. Since I found out I was pregnant BayLee has been right there with me gaining weight. I have gained about 15lbs and BayLee looks like he has also.BayLee use to hate my mom. He would bite, hiss, and growl at her but he pushed all his feelings aside and held up a white surrender flag at her last visit. I think there might be a future to their relationship. I have a story about BayLee vs. the Raccoon coming in another post. This is for all of our loyal companions. "Thank you for being a friend".."Traveling down the road and back again" "Your heart is true your a pal and a confidant".. I know Golden Girls Theme. I know cheesy but I just couldnt stop myself.... With Love, Bamaslammer

This phrase is from Saturday Night Live back when it was good! I think I am going to have to go rent "The Best of Eddie Murphy".. All I remember is Eddie sitting on a stool reciting a poem about how he is going to "Kill My Landlord".. I know morbid.. but ohh so funny... It reminds me of an experience I had this past week..

...let me give you a little bit of background before I start my rant.. Jason and I are moving closer to work since we have a baby on the way. I, the fool that I am, assigned Jason the task to find us somewhere to live. I knew it would be a disaster. But being pregnant you will delegate things to others because you have enough to do and you are tired and overwhelmmed. I should have done it myself. Jason loves to put all of his eggs in one basket and when they all crack he wonders what went wrong. I am a girl who likes to plan and have options. Not Jason... how dare he have options and make a plan. Noooo, I think he enjoys the stress of everything going wrong and hearing me complain about it for months this situation he will hear about for years.

Back to the story... Jason has I went looking for places to live let me just say ONE place in a nice neighborhood with my future in laws one street over. I have decided that Jason is taking the reigns on this deal. He looks at a place and if it is something he thinks we are interested in he calls me and I come and look. That is what happened on Saturday. That is what happened when I met the landlords from hell.

The landlords are an older couple in their early 70's. They were nice enough but it was that "give us your money-sign here kinda nice". The first thing the lady said was " I know you hear that barking dog that dog will be gone today we own the place next door and we told them the dog has to go and it is going to Jacksonville". Okay I am an animal lover and I told the Man-Landlord-From Hell in the nicest way possible that I didnt want to hear anymore from him about the dog. He actually took a clue and dropped the subject. He took me on a tour of the place and continued running his mouth. The Man-Land-Lord-From Hell- asked me when my "coucment date is". okay... that is just gross I am not sure how to spell it. I spelled it like he said it. I think you get the jest of it. Why didnt he say "When is your baby due?" I guess that would have been too normal for him to say. He has earned himself two strikes but I move on...

As the Man-Land-Lord-From Hell is taking me for a tour he comments on the tub "two people can fit in the tub at once" and "two people can take a shower at once". After I talked to Jason about it he said the Man-Land-Lord-From-Hell said the same things to him. So gross coming from a nasty old man! three strikes and now I have added pervert to his name.

After the perverted tour is over we talk to the Perverted-Man-Land-Lord-From-Hell and the Woman-Land-Lord-From-Hell in the kitchen. Jason and I feel like we should be semi-honest and we tell the Prevented-Man-Land-Lord from Hell and the Woman-Land Lord-From-Hell that we have a cat. You would have thought I told them I had a tiger and five snakes that live with us. The Woman-Land-Lord ask "WHAT DOES THE CAT DO ALL DAY? JUST RUN AROUND LIKE HE OWNS THE PLACE!!??" Well I replied "He is fat/ old and he sleeps all day". I wish so much I could go back in time. I would have replied" I havent checked the cat's agenda lately but when I get home I will make sure I have him hammer out his schedule and we will give you a copy to place with our lease so you will know what he is doing at all times!" I know I am a smart mouth ...but I think a stupid question deserves a stupid answer. four strikes and now I have added crazy to the Lady-Land-Lord-From-Hell.

As you probably figured we pretty much decided about right then that it wasnt going to work out.. I wish I would have told her the truth.. I should have said " I have two indoor cats, two outdoor cats, and I have a family of four raccoons that I feed nightly and really want to bring them all with me to my new pad here in the country club". I think she would have fainted and I would have loved it!

Needless to say things were going downhill at an even faster rate.. The Crazy-Lady-Land-Lord informed us that she comes over to water the plants.. ahhh.. but there is an irrigation system why must she come over to water the plants?????..Ohh..I know why to look in the windows and spy and prowl thorough your things! Watering the plants..yeah right...Strike five

The next issue is that the Perverted-Land-Lord-From-Hell, asked " Why we had two different last names and if we were planning on getting married?". Which is illegal by the way. Yet, again I wish I could have went back in time. I wish I would have defended myself. I just replied in a wimpy manner "Maybe someday". The Perverted-Man-Land-Lord said "Well it is proven that individuals who live together are a higher credit risk." I let it go.. Why did I not defend myself?! I wish so much I could go back in time and say "This is how I have decided to live my life not be married". "This is a decision I have made and I stand by it firmly. I have nothing to be ashamed of and you will not make me feel as though I should be ashamed of my lifestyle" "I stand by how I live." If only I could go back. Needless to say I guess you figured out we didnt rent from him. I have his card and I am so tempted to call him and say the above things to him. With this being a small town I have decided against it and I will just vent on my blog and work on BayLee the cat's daily agenda with him so I will have it handy the next time I am asked what his schedule is. I will be prepared. ...With Love BamaSlammer

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About Me

I am just a modern woman trying to make my way in the world. I am a single mom who is doing her best to raise her daughter the best way she knows how.
I am one of those "experts" on useless knowlege. My jobs are teaching, blogging, and skin products. I think most problems can be solved with good friends, wine, and medication.
This blog is a release for me. I enjoy writing and keeping up with Pop Culture Issues. This blog is for fun. Please enjoy and do not take anything I say seriously. Happy Reading