Category Archives: Snark

Demonstration over essentials dropped by Canadian troops – Currency imitation angered students of flooded university

A demonstration has been held on the campus of Bob Jones University accusing Canadian troops of insulting America after they distributed toiletry supplies bearing the cherished symbols of American heritage.

The Canadian military said the idea had been to give toiletry essentials for the Christian students to use during severe local flooding, and they did not realise it would cause offence.

The shrink-wrapped bales of $100 toilet paper rolls were dropped from a helicopter in Greenville County.

The words on the imitation currency, which include the name of God, with some Old Latin thrown in, are revered, and Americans are very sensitive about where and how they can be used.

Clerics at Bob Jones University criticised the Canadian forces for their religious insensitivity, and around 100 students held a demonstration and prayer vigil on the campus.

University President Steven Jones said: “To have a version of our cherished American currency on something you wipe your ass with would be an insult in any American around the world. Even more insulting, the all-seeing Eye of God was centered on the ‘sweet spot’, if you know what I mean!”

A spokeswoman for the Canadian relief forces said they made “significant efforts to work with local leaders, clerics and elders to respect their culture” and distributing the toilet paper was an effort to give relief to the flood-beleagured campus that students would find useful.

“Unfortunately,” he added, “there was something on those rolls we didn’t immediately understand to be offensive and we regret that as we do not want to offend. Your US currency is in the crapper anyway, and we thought our British form of humor might ease their desparate relief situation.”

Local weather forecasters predict another 39 days and nights of heavy rain for the South Carolina region.

Offending God and the Dollar all at once: everything that is holy and sacred to our great nation. I suppose they will start dropping Dixie Chicks CD’s next…