hooks relates the pressures of the patriarchy to men's ability to express emotions, specifically love. Because we live in a patriarchal society we have built up a notion of manhood that is related to the qualities of a strong leader/provider. She describes the patriarchal notion of manhood: strength, domination, even violence. All of these qualities can make for a great leader/provider but they also have effect of demoralizing the weakness and vulnerability that comes with feelings. In this way, hooks proposes that our society pressures men to hold back their love. Because men are pressured to hold back their love, women are frustrated, because they want that love more than anything. If the problem is lack of love, she proposes that more love, unconditional love, is the only answer:

"Only a revolution of values in our nation will end male violence, and that revolution will necessarily be based on a love ethic. To create loving men, we must love males. Loving maleness is different from praising and rewarding males for living up to sexist defined notions of male identity. Caring about men because of what they do for us is not the same as loving males for simply being. When we love maleness, we extend our love whether males are performing or not." (page 11)

How do men and women love differently? How does this create tensions between the genders?

Do you think that the cultural pressures of men to be providers has created performance based love? How does one overcome performance based love?

2 comments:

Tony Porter talks about the patriarchy using the term "Man Box." He sends out a call to men, we cannot liberate women without liberating men. Liberating men is to escape the Man Box. A great presentation with a lot of personal experience.. I highly suggest checking it out.

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The MISS Blog is our main source for the organization. The authors are Jacqui Lambert and Hannah Atkinson but we encourage people to contact us to submit a post of their own, too. Our blog revolves around influential women of Alaska, cultural and racial identity, sexual education, and advice on how men can be allies. Please do not hesitate to provide us with your insight whether it's through comments or e-mails. We hope to strengthen our resources and improve our organization with the help from the audience.

-On Sundays, a post is written about a writing workshop for an event called Race Monologues and provides a piece that was asked to be written. This is a continual written piece and it works towards one final story of racial identity. We encourage a reply with your own pieces.

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-On Thursdays, a chapter review is posted. The book that is being reviewed discusses how men can be allies and support the movement rather than seeing it as a female-dominant approach to ruling men out. We believe men also play a role in making a difference and have no intentions to ruling them out. Since MISS is run by two women, we are seeking more insight from men on how to involve them more. Please contact us with your comments and suggestions.