Shucking fresh oysters in Northern Ireland on Christmas morning in preparing for the long table feastive dinner.

I adore Tasmanian oysters and I hit jackpot moving to this farm to discover I had a neighbour who I call 'Oyster Girl' who just so happened to own a Oyster Farm. I am often blessed with her 'Fugly ones'. We usually once a week catch-up together for dinner over cheap bubbles and eat my 'Dippy Eggs' (soft boiled eggs + buttery toast soldiers) and make Oysters Kilpatrick.

Oysters for me now here are cheap, incredibly fresh, locally sourced and ever so tasty. But what happens when you get more oysters than you can eat in one sitting or when your gifted them with not time use? And whats the quickest easiest pantry based recipe to use on them....?

I do not weep at the world, I am too busy sharpening my oyster knife

— Zora Neal Hurtson

A large bag of fresh oysters

Every Christmas in Ireland, my contribution was usually 6-8 dozen oysters to be shucked and shared with drinks with my fake cousins. Here in the Huon Valley, once the oysters have been scrubbed & washed, I pop them into zipblock bags of a dozen and they go into the freezer.

Pretty much then its a matter of removing them as you need them - usually a couple of dozen at a time. Its like the best 'back up entertainment option' ever.

I'm ok at shucking oysters from fresh - and I do plenty of times, but sometimes I leave a little bit of grit in them as when they are fugly they are fiddly and it takes a fair bit of time to pop open - especially if they have developed a bit of frill.

But no fear anymore as I've discovered the trick. Best trick ever.....

Fresh oyster plate on the Beach with lemon wedges.

Once out of the freezer, frozen oysters will pop their shells ajar in less than an hour of starting to defrost. No needing to prize open them with a knife and contaminated with shell anymore - I can just slip the knife in the side and pop the lid off. Game changer. Quick, easy and grit free. I rinse the frozen oyster under the tap and set aside in a tray to defrost. Frozen oysters will still have salt water encased in their shell at the time of freezing and this will defrost in a few hours. This waters tipped out and then the oyster can be eaten natural or as I love it in my Oysters Kilpatrick recipe below...

ladies on a beach with beach camp fire and glass of bubbles’Photo Samara Clifford

A Dozen Oysters Kilpatrick

Frozen oysters on a tray

12 oyster large in half shell

2 bacon rashers shredded

1 tsp Worcestershire sauce

240 mls barbecue sauce/tomato sauce or both

Divide up the fried off bacon into each shell. Mix the Worcestershire sauce and BBQ/Tomoto sauce together. I prefer 1:1 ratio but whatever tickles you. Drizzle sauce mixture onto each shell. Pop in oven or Grill till cooked - about 5-10 minutes depending on how long it takes for the bacon to crisp up.

I can’t ever personally tell the difference between a fresh or frozen oyster thats defrosted. I dont also know anyone who has. Having a few dozen oysters in the freezer at anyone time is the most loveliest afternoon entertainment with good friends.

Get yours from a reputable source, like a good local fishmonger, seafood market or maybe you, like me, your super lucky, live somewhere like Far South Tasmania and have an oyster farmer neighbour who loves you.

Really simple, really cheap, really fun and if you make them into pinchpots, Christmas decorations or tea sets you have great handmade presents for the kids (or yourself). They can be painted, glittered. Baking them turns them into rocks. They taste crap - don't try and eat. If you can put a thumb print in or a marking to say whos art is who. Self raising flour makes them puff up alittle. Great activity to have as a back up for a rainy day or to calm down a houseful of someone elses kids. I add a few drops of essential oil to the dough and it doubles as a lovely calm & relaxing afternoon activity.

RECIPE:

1 cup salt

2 cups of plain flour

¾ cup of water

INSTRUCTIONS:

In a large bowl mix salt and flour together then stir in water till its like firm dough.

Empty the cutters from the second draw on the table & let them create masterpieces.

Place the salt dough creations into the oven at 150-180C. I find about an hour does it - but generally I bake them when I'm making cakes or a roast or something. You can also leave them on the fire place to dry out first overnight.

Once dry they can be painted and varished if they are a little special and then packaged off to all the Nonna and Pops of this world.

While tucking into cheese tasting box in a tent at the festival, we decided, we were moving to Tasmania, regardless, be it on the mussle farm we wanted or our boat till we found somewhere just as nice.

When we landed in Tasmania for our first family holiday - woven around The Wooden Boat Festival at Hobart - almost 2 years ago - we sat on the Dock overlooking the marina, fresh off the plane and we decided that we would move here. It was a mix of the old wooden boats, the food, the air and the heritage which grabbed us. I think the rest of the trip was done with the Real-estate Australia App perminently on. That night we stayed in Primrose sands on the water, and I went into overdrive on looking at all the farming options and regions. We then made a list of the non negotiable....It had to be on the water, it had to be near fruit producing area, he wanted cattle at some stage, I wanted to continue to make my jam, I wanted a 100+ year old heritage house ( this one I lost out to) , and it had to be the east coast for the sailing, had to have some kind of potential more more than just farming, to have good schools nearby and close enough to the Hobart to daytrip/or airport. From this search were 2 properties that interested us. One at the very north of the country, a chalet/mechanic business overlooking the water - with the idea of buying another large inland farming block and the other an old mussel farm to the very south. We decided to change our holiday plans slightly and go and visit both.That next morning we headed off super early, the a few days before the festival kicked off and drove down south, through all the little towns oohing and ahhhing, Antiques, orchards, marinas, apple-sheds with little heritage houses sprinkled across the landscape. I was so excited, I loved the cold from spending a decade in Europe, but my chap, with most of his working life living in either hot mining or outback farming conditions, north of Western Australia, was going to need convincing as he wasn't a fan of the cold. He didn't need convincing driving through along the waterside. I naturally loved the weather, it being similar to mild Irish summer and loved the idea of continuing our simple life. We contacted the agent and did a walkover. I loved it from the moment I drove down the drive. We were sold. It was perfect for us - ticking all of my boxes , except for the house - that wasn't heritage but it was lovely enough to live in and maybe, someday do changes later on down the track. We then went back up to the festival & continued on rest of our tour around the state. I remeber tucking into the tasting box of cheese, on the dock drinking Willy Smith Cider both deciding that we were committing to the move - regardless on if we got the property or not. We would just live on the boat till we found something we loved as much. The second north property was lovely too, different, great potential, but ultimately it didn't compare. So by the end of the trip, and hundreds of detours off to see potential passing farms, we decided to change our last few nights accommodation from Hobart and go and stay opposite the Old Mussle farm in a rented chalet to see what it was like in the morning. My biggest concern was for my chap - I know how the winter weather can be very harsh & bleak, and I told him that although he was smitten on the property, he had to come back in the dead cold of Winter for a week - and see what he liked it. Regardless on what he thought we decided that it was time to move, while the kids were only 8 months old and 2.5, that we were on the move. Now it was just a massive rush to get back home, get the house renovated, pack up the business, sell the property and hope like hell that no one in the mean time puts an offer on it. It was game on.

A few weeks back I made a last minute dash to Ireland. Although a bittersweet trip, to say goodbye for Anne, a gorgeous lady for final time, it was a week of rejoyce & reunion. And it was a total Surprise as only 2 people knew I was flying in.

I remember when I used to crash in the spare 'beer testing' room after a night out/early morning in the days before responsibility in Belfast. These were times of being free & fearless and many late night ideas over brews were shared. Its so good to see their dream of Farmageddon Brewing Co-Op in fully action on the farm.

Farmageddon Brewery. Behind this door is the key to no hangovers - preservative free beer.

Popped in for tea with old neighbour 89 year old Lady Clark, Caught up with Mary & John at my my old work cafe Bookfinders and washed off & redid my original blackboard menu sign that I did over 15 year ago again for her. She still had it up. Took the train to Dublin with Lovely Audrey & Helen of Glass Bro Armagh where I used to pick apples & run the main house - and dropped in for more tea later on in the week so I to see the rest of the growing family! Oyster & Cake purchases at St Georges's Markets & catchup with Claire, Yet more tea with Johnny at Maxwell House of Clatteringford, Dinner with Anne & Peter at The Poachers Pocket. Tramped the Fields dogwalking with Lizzy ( and drinking lots & lots of wine), Coffee & desperately needed catchup with Tote, as well as late night tea with Colonel Charley.

Then had a last Hoorah 40th Birthday thrown for me the night before I flew!!! Wine with Lindy of The Boathouse Sketrick where I used to work and is one of the most lovelies places to rent on the island. So Although short, the break was just what I needed. Missed alot of people but just time & distance made it impossible. Next time I wont wait for so long.

Tullygirvan House. Breakfast made on a real aga & where my obsession with cooking on one seriously began.

The Free-range organic pigs at Farmmgeddon Brewery.

County Down Farm roads racing to Surprise everyone.

Havant lost the touch - shucking 3 dozen oysters for Sunday Lunch at Tethers End

Latte & Waiting for my Friends to Fly in at the Wesbury in Dublin. Got to love a 20m chesterfield

I tend to over think things – forecasting well into the future all my chess playing options and so trying to simplify one’s life in my head, actually is not as easy as it seems. This week I’ve successfully burnt the bum out of one of my expensive pots, lost a fiddle leaf plant to under watering, confused a crochet workshop date and severely smashed my iphone. And now with no phone in hand, I’m feeling right out of the loop and that I’ve fallen behind.

Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful

— William Morris

Generally I tend to overcommit or go off on tangents and start new things. And I really like starting new things, the energy and the thought process. I adore that ideas discovery. This means that instead of having 5 tabs open in my computer I have more like 25. Concentration flits from one idea to another down the rabbit hole getting lost in new page openings. Its really really good if your brainstorming and utterly useless if your trying to catch up on paperwork.

So as daft as it sounds - In order to simplify life I actually just have to finish a few things first, well most things. I need to create space. Really unless there’s a call to action, like I’mgoing to get a monetary fine or miss out on flight or something as equally serious, then I generally think things are ok left up in the air. So this week – while I’m forced off grid from Instagram and pretty much most social media, with my iphone in hospital, I’m going to try and streamline and finish a few in-house projects. Well that’s the plan. Cross fingers

Days before Christmas we held an intimate Wooden Spoon & Bowl Carving Workshop was a cracking success. I so so badly wanted to learn how to carve, before we lost talented Luke to Margaret River area....Thank-you lovely ladies for attending and at short notice...like 3 days. We walked away with notes, knives and a couple of spoons each and a future of witting on the back verandah! And thanks to Frisky Deer Cafe for hosting a gorgeous spread & Luke from The Knowledge Base for teaching.

Plum chutney.It’s pretty good to have this on hand in the pantry to dish up at the Lunch table with a platter of meats breads & cheeses. Men like Chutney in cold meat sandwiches and and in paddock cheese toasties. Well mine does anyway. Really any stone fruit can be used and you want to hold off on eating them for a couple of months as the taste can be rather sharp/harsh.

I won’t know if I like this recipe till later on in the year – but it smells good and premature tasting is pretty darn nice. Makes about 1.35 kg worth and takes a couple of hours to make – will keep for the whole year…..or longer. Great option to stock up for Christmas Hampers.

Supermarkets were made in 1947. Before that we lived out of our pantry. Throughout the year we gathered, bottled, dried, baked, swapped picked brined, and stored our food from the land. We had veggie patches, chooks, fishing spots, orchards and skills. In season we harvested fruits, plucked berries, salted smoked, brined olives, stole honey, and foraged for wild mushrooms. We spent fished, shucked, plucked, collected, salted, hunted, brewed, cured, canned, dried and dug.We had larders, pantrys, cellars, storage huts and outdoor wire cool-rooms.

We produced enough for ourselves and had excess to be stored, bartered, swapped, gifted or sold. Families gathered around tables where food was prepared,and ate at - it was the first port of call of day and the last at night. Manners were taught & upkept. The Art of Conversation was instilled & shared. We made cordial. leather, chutneys, cheese, jams, cured, dried & potted meats. We collected wood, nuts and bulbs. We tended to our gardens & friendships. We learnt to sew, whittle, knit, preserve and up-cycle and passed those skills & products around.

Thou it is small it is tasty

— Irish Quote

We made and created & conserved traditions. Everything that can & could be nurtured was. Many times over – presented in different ways. Its about sharing the fruits of ones labour & its methods in doing so, with the people you love.It is then in times where living was harder, or scarce or poorer or in great celebration….the seasons harvests could be enjoyed. I'm on a homemade, homegrown & handmade path of turning my little farm into a more slow & simple lifestyle for my family.

I just got back from Ireland where my cousins excel in this kinda life. But truthfully I'm really not that good at gardening, pretty disorganised and totally shit at bookkeeping. I do however adore learning new skills & meeting people & eating cake, so I very occasionally find someone good at their craft and run a Traditional Skill workshops on something I myself would love to learn. I also make alot of preserves although in recent months have been abit off. Seeing everyone again was like a refresher course in getting my life back on track & into gear. I just have to get abit better and into Supermarketing up my Farm Pantry again.

In the last month I have been strictly streamlining life. Making it simple, uncluttered and just not relying on just taking the easy option to get by. We have also been doing a mini reno on the house, painting, carpeting etc....just to make things fresh again. Its been nice to spend more time at home - something that has taken me years to adjust to after travelling so much. I suppose that's why I really have always found it hard to start a garden as I just couldn't stay in one space - but things are changing. We are also looking at what we will do next and exploring plans. I ditched 1/5th the kids toys but spending much more time with my kids - we do alot more now and explore things. I've had a crack at making washing powered, spider spray, lip balm, furniture polish, detergent, spray and wipe and I'm about to try sunscreen & weed killer (although currently I'm pretty good at letting the weeds live)....all from simple ingredients. Its small steps but its just adding new good habits into the family life mix. I'd like to work , or start up studying a little again and I'm also keen to get my littlest off breast feeding so I can get a sleep in. I haven't had a whole nights sleep in 3.5 years. I've also streamlined my life so that I concentrate on the people that are good to be around, that boost up others and inspire me. Lifes really far too short & once you start looking for people like that you soon find them. Its been a really wonderful time.

Mel loves hands on cooking so having Sicilian roots and a taste for homemade & home-grown lifestyle, she makes/bakes most things from scratch, jams, pickles, cured meats – including pasta. She’s opening up her farm kitchen at Windy Hill Estate, in Meelon, just outside of Pinjarra to share this skill with other like-minded rural ladies. Come share a morning tea, a little self taught, hands-on workshop & a simple pasta lunch.

Mel will show us the types of flours used in pasta dough making, some equipment needs and a few basic sauces & filling combinations. You’ll learn to mix the ingredients and kneed, rest and roll and cut the dough into shape. She is going to share her traditionally influenced sauces & recipes… It’s a hands on, step by step class with a few fresh ingredients sourced from the farm. We will get flour messy & there may be mud in the paddocks. No need for a frock but lippy-up as you’re probably going to get in a photo.

Once the hard work is done sit down, admire the amazing view of the countryside, kitchen garden and alpacs, whilst enjoying your very own freshly made pasta with a glass of bubbles

Classes are $25 to cover basic costs. Long Paddock Lunches are designed to create & foster friendships – it’s a swapping knowledge skills, creating rural networks, and catching up with old mates over good wholesome food in beautiful shared surroundings. Be prepared to pitch in and assist with setup & clean up too. No one likes a sink full of dishes at the end of the day. Bring a pasta sauce recipe to share if you have one & a container to take with you any left over pasta home.

Class is from 10am -1pm on the 28th August. Please arrive by 9.30 for morning coffee. Come earlier if you like, especially if your dropping off kids, but be prepared to be given a job. For more information or to register your interest contact me at thelittlefarmhousepantry@gmail.com.

Being highly domesticated on this wintery feeling day. After detailing the fridge and offloading a few tired hidden veg to the chook, I rediscovered the tahini. So I picked a few lemons, I showed my little Ivy how to peel garlic & make hummus. She's turned out to be a natural at garlic peeling - must be the little fingers. I always use Jamie Olivers recipe as its easy and it rocks. When I worked in Bookfinders Cafe in Belfast, Northern Ireland the 'Hummus & Hotbread' flew out the door...especially on cold days.

Best hummus

2 cans of chickpeas drained

1 massive heaped tablespoon of tahini

4 cloves garlic

100mls of canned chickpea juice

1/3 cup olive oil

Good punch salt

One large lemon's juice squeezed

Method Everything into your blender and Blitz till smooth. I use a thermomix but really anything works - even one of those $9 Kmart stick blenders...if you blitz long enough. If its still a little thick, use some of the chickpea juice from the can to make it to the consistency you like - I like mine like a dip so rather firm. Flavours always taste better the next day - lessen the garlic if your not a garlic fan. Fancy it up

Fancy it up with a teaspoon of cummin or a little bunch of coriander leaves if you want a different flavour. Hold back a few chickpeas from the recipe if your serving it as a dip, pop them on top once dished up for decoration with a drizzle of oil oil & a sprinkle of paprika.

Use it instead of butter, top on hot toast, or a dip with crackers/veggies, In summer its great dolloped on the side of a mixed salad plate. or just in a bowl on a antipasto tasting platter. Lasts a day in our house if lucky - although around a week in the fridge.

Irish stew. Cheap warm feed for a wintery day. Made this the other day as I really couldn't be bothered leaving the house as I had too much to do .....and it was frightfully Baltic outside.

The ingredients are pantry staples, and gravy beef ( you also could use lamb neck chops diced up). I get meat from our local butcher in Pinjarra when its on special in bulk and freeze it up. When I and running late I just pop it in the slow cooker as is and leave it an hour to defrost then take it out and chop up. I also find it you chop up par-frozen meat you get it looking more uniformed as its easier to cut - thats if your not super organised and have some fresh cuts in the fridge.

And an interesting side note - osso bucco is the same meat as gravy beef too, just without the bone and generally a tad more expensive. That was a dinner game changer. The hidden ingredient here in this dish is a trick I learnt from a Nigella Lawsons Beef Stew with anchovies & Thyme - a couple of anchovies are always thrown in, as I find it gives the meal abit of depth, and that goes for any beef hearty meal dish. Also I freeze my herbs I use in cooking in little bags/recycled Chinese containers when they are fresh - really easy to have on hand for dishes that call on herbs like 'dill or thyme' that I wouldn't use much

No herbs, anchovies, tomato paste or cornflour etc...so want to cheat? Use beef,carrots,onions,peas, and instant gravy. Its not the best option but its better than spending a fortune getting preprepared stuff from the frozen section in Coles - the house still smells amazing and your still in contention for 'Mother of the Year'

Irish stew

1 kg of diced gravy beef / lamb necks

2 fat carrots cliced

2 onions chopped (garlic if you have it as well)

3 anchovies

heaped tablespoon of tomato paste

4-6 sprigs of thyme

Stock to just cover ( whatever you use - I use frozen home-made stuff)

Easy way - pop everything in a slow cooker, stir and leave on low for 4 hours. Make a mini crater on your plate of mash potato and fill it with the stew.

Harder way - put seasoned flour in a bowl and toss in the meat till coated, brown this off with onions in oil in a pan then return to the slow cooker and follow the above method Sealing in the meat can mean that its alot tender - but phooey, my immediate family don't seem to know the difference, so I generally don't bother unless I'm trying to impress someone whose not blood related.

Hiding leftovers? Pop into a toastie with a bit of cheese and serve with tomato sauce or use shortcrust pastry and fill up a pie maker. Or just freeze for other lazy winter days.

A few things I dearly love - one is making food, and another is sharing it with gorgeous friends. So I'm excited to announce, that mid June we will host another Long Paddock Lunch & winter workshop. More details to come, but its a feel good workshop & a winters shared meal of pantry staples....fruits of ones hard work from preserving, bottling, drying, curing, salting & smoking all set from a farmhouse with a cracking view.

I think I've been too busy to blog lately – Seems that when I do get 5 minutes of me time all I want to do is go off and see something bright and sparkly again….life Chacha...but there are a few things in the pipeline ….We just had a workshop on ‘The Art of smart phone photography’ with Samara Clifford at the funky new Make Place in central Mandurah. So lucky to have a Melbourne Photographer in town for a few weeks touring the state to drop in and host the event. What an eye opener for using my iphone – so expect better photos in the future. I do.

Earlier this month we were fortunate to have a lovely group of country ladies attend aBullet Journal workshop run by the very busy Jo, from The Paddock Rose. Jo is a super highly organised lady that runs a couple of business, a homestead, a troop of children, a calendar of travel and a high social life as well as her millions of projects on the go – including her gorgeous craft business, The Paddock Rose.

Over Devonshire tea, Jo introduced the concept of Bullet Journalling - a really invaluable organisational system that collates all the things ‘you need to do’ out of your head– and from all the other media forms that are in your life, into one simple paper book system. Jo’s an expert at it. Her teachings touched on how her simple method helps keep track of one’s past present and future dates, deadlines and dreams. I know personally since doing the class and following her method I have no idea how I coped in my life prior to the day!

All enjoyed a few glasses of bubbles in the gorgeous Pemberley Homestead grounds after the workshop. Then it was hands on deck for table set-up and a we were privileged to get a little farm garden love, provided to us by Teresa, who showed us her skill at garden foliage foraging & creating some lovely flower arrangements for our table setting.

Chatting with old friends and meeting new - it was lovely to watch new friendships forming and future dates for catchups being made. The day was a perfect mix of workshop & potluck longtable lunch and catchups.

Under the big gumtree - glasses of bubbles in the shade overlooking the farm

Clutching our new workbook diaries and a head full of ideas and new friendship contacts, I really look forward to where we will be popping up for the next workshop and what will be on the cards then. As we learnt with this one, there is a bounty of talent in the area and a real keenness to skill share.

Come join us with other ladies for a long table paddock lunch workshop day as we teach you all about the art of getting organised, in the beautiful Meelon. Learn the secrets as we teach you how to get your life in order.

Meet Jo Lee-Steer....a super organised mum who runs a bunting business, ‘The Paddock Rose’, a large house & a heavy social/travel calender. Join 12 other ladies in a farmhouse setting, in learning the Bullet Journalling method followed by a casual long table lunch of regional produce, a glass of chilled bubbles and amidst beautiful ladies & scenery.

Whether you've ever dreamed of getting on top of total mess in your head, or you just want to learn another skill for a feather in your cap, need to take charge of your life again or you just love chats, good food and meeting new people, this course is for you.

·Farm experience at Pemberly Homestead in a quiet location in Meelon (just outside of Pinjarra)

·Informal session of the Art of Bullet Journalling

·Workbook & Pen & Notes

·Learn the art of prioritising & getting organised & sticking to a system.

·Be treated to a light morning tea, a long table lunch & glass of bubbly.

opportunity to sample local & farm artisan goodies

·Enjoy the serenity of being hosted by Kate at Pemberly Homestead, with many chances to ask questions & socialise with other like-minded ladies.

Workshop runs from 10.00 -2.00 on the 24th March. Tickets are a tiny $60 and payable on the day. To secure your position or for more information please email thelittlefarmhousepantry@gmail.com.

Just looking at the itty-bitty chilli pile on the bench is making my eyes water. I've been putting this jam off for a while. It’s actually a mini batch - of a bigger wedding order, so I'm pretty sure this bride is out to get a few people…..including me.

Super-hot chilli jam & I have a love hate relationship – I love a small bit in cooking but hate hate hate hate hate making it in jam. Touch anything in the wrong spot & I go into a world of pain that lingers. I'm a super mild chilli fan – and not the ‘Nados mild’ either. Fremantle does an annual Chilli festival in March - & that weekend, I'm always somewhere else in the country.

Yet I still find that I make it rather regularly in a mates ‘Sizzling Sauce’ recipe (so perfect for BBQ's) , Red Onion + Rosemary Marmalade (Excellent with cheese+ crackers) & as a warming undertone in Raspberry & Tweak of Chilli Jam (great on freshly made scones) – and for custom orders like this….but I generally don’t use it much myself. Just for the record, I am abit of a chilli woose & generally like to taste my food.

So to make sure I was getting the right degree of temperature with this one, it required a little bit of background research. The Australian Geographic has outlined the worlds 10 hottest chillies …..and I found the 5th hottest chilli in the world, the Bhut Jolokia in a local nursery. This little red chappy is grown in India/Bangladesh & is so hot that the Indian army developed and use them as a viable weapon in combat – the chilli grenade.

Bhut Jolokia has 900,000- 1,100,000 Scoville Heat Units (SHUs). As a benchmark your ‘everyday-burn-my-bum-off-i- I-ate-it-from- the-local-vegi-man’s hot chilli is around 2500 SHU’s According to this Scoville Scales – the worlds hottest chilli, as recorded by the Guinness World records last year, was the ‘Trinidad scorpion Butch Taylor’ at almost 1,500,000 SHU’s . It is actually made in NSW, Australia at the Chilli factory. They cook it up using chemical masks and protection suits. Apparently the recommendation is to have it with avocado & cheese &ham sandwiches. Seriously – in a sandwich!? That’s my idea of hell. Although sadly Australia has lost its recently been bumped off its post by an American chap with the Carolina Reaper. But really how can the average Joe taste the difference between them when your face is burning off?

If you’re a fan of cultivating your own blow-your-socks-off fun, Wildfire Chilli are the one stop shop for all things chilli in Perth. These guys are chilli kings of Australia, with the biggest range of plants, seeds & products all chilli related. Want to get something hot tasty things locally today? The Redi-Cut Butchers in Warnbro have some lovely mouth burning condiments in stock & if you want even more hotter without going to the big smoke - chat to Rod - if it exists he will hunt it down.

So I really hope my lovely bride loves this jam -for some of her 'special people', I hope they try it with a bucket of ice and as its apart of the table placement, I bloody hope some of her targeted guests don't switch seats on her on the big day.

It’s just nice to sit back & spend a little mid-week morning time with the family, or half the family even when all around you screams that there's more important & urgent things going on. Once a week, turn off phone/computer/radio, & devote an hour with my little 2 year in teaching her the art of etiquette & conversation.

Last year I came across an article from New York where in our modern times ‘Experts say that technologies such as texting have impaired children's ability to conduct polite conversations, and that the culture of helicopter parenting is producing an overindulged, inconsiderate generation who lack the wherewithal to behave appropriately.’ Teaching Children the Art of Lost Manners

It’s become a part of our weekly routine & this week over some Lemon/Passionfruit Butter/ Vegemite toast we shared her week that was. I actually look forward to our little meetups & our breakfast hot topics of conversations covered were but not limited to;

And notably her breaking into song over her ‘my best pet incy wincy’ – referring to her love of the big black deadly looking spider that lives between the glass & the fly wire at the kitchen sink window.

All in all, there’s not much really good gossip covered, but it is a good chance to perfect her table manners, refining her cutlery/crockery skills, polish her tea techniques & her polite-ish conversation. Gee.....at this rate I just may even be able to take her out in public soon.

It’s about dark- thirty here and I’ve just packed my husband off to the Dowerin Field Day with his mates. Dowerin Field Day was always a yearly milestone and a great spot to catch-up with country friends especially in my Muresk Agricultural Uni days...years ago. However today on the farm it is going to be ‘Strawberry Balsamic Jam Day’, with a big wedding order in a few short weeks’ time.

Seriously I've been rather busy lately attending to other things than jam – there’s been a few well needed workshops…a lovely long table lunch with stylist Michelle Lau workshop via The Creatives,Mumpreneurs course run by the very talented Belle of Rise365 & a brush up on my social media (or lack of them) … but namely my times been occupied tending to our other business with me playing the position of ‘Fetcher of parts & quotes & interpreter of notes’.

Poetic.

The last bit is the bit that I struggle, especially with little people providing me with the constant ambient background noise. This week interpreting a diesel mechanics notes over the phone -makes for interesting Chinese whispers conversations with our suppliers. What on earth did people do before Iphones photos?

Speaking of phone I can hear the phone beeping insistently at me – and at that rate I defiantly know its not my chap ringing to say he’s forgotten to tell me he’s taking me out for special dinner tonight. More like he’s seen some ‘must have’ pieces of random workshop expensive bit of gear that’s ‘the sale of the decade’ at Dowerin. Maybe there will be a special dinner opportunity after all…

I’m in love with the stuff & since I have fresh farm eggs, farm lemons & can make my own butter – its a staple in our house. Having such good ingredients at hand means that its a really glossy thick citrusy butter. Too good to give away almost. Last week I more or less comatosed myself, by eating an entire jar prior to dinner. Dont recommended eating a whole jar in one sitting. One friend, Samara from Samara Clifford Photography perfectly summed up my over consumption with.....

OH MY GOD! LEMON BUTTER IS LIKE CRACK. please send me some 

— Sam from Samara Clifford Photography

So to make lemon butter, I use my thermomix....mainly because it always comes out perfect. And if for some reason it kinda looks like its on the verge of failure, I let it whip for another few minutes - then TADA!- Its perfect! This recipe below gives you a couple of jars & enough left over to eat the remainder off the spatula.

Ingredients

3 eggs

100 gms butter

200 gms sugar

2 Lemons, juiced & zested

Method

Blitz zest & sugar for 30 seconds. If there are still lumps blitz 10-30 seconds.

Add lemon juice, butter & eggs

Wizz for a few seconds then cook for 8-10 minutes, temp 80 degrees, speed 3.

Pour into hot sterilised jars and seal.

Cool & fridge & don’t eat it all at once

I find Lemon & Passionfruit butter always good to have on hand for quick afternoon tea guests. A quick plate to whip up for your 'Oh my god there going to be here in 20 minutes' is to cut out puff pastry circles and fork them well & pop into a baby muffin tray and a 180/160 fan forced oven for 15 minutes till light golden brown. Cool for 10 minutes in pan then transfer to wire rack and heap in spoonful of Butter. Fancy things up with a blueberry or raspberry or dollop of mascarpone cheese on top. Instant 'Mother of the Year' status guaranteed.

For those who don't care to make it themselves but love the stuff - I do freshly made 250gm Jars of Lemon Butter or PassionFruit & Lemon Butter at $6.50. As its got to be kept cold, its only drop off / pick-up availability - and I am scooting up to Perth in a couple of weeks so there's a Cottesloe pickup spot for those Perthites who are keen.