Sunday, June 7, 2009

The Raj Haj Paj

The Raj Haj Paj is actually a quick list of stupid things I need to get out, seeing as how I haven't written anything of substance in well over a month. But doesn’t it sound like a delicious mix of Indian dishes? Mmmmm. Raj haj paj.

*Although I don’t really spell my name Rajah but, as long as I do here, it would be silly to call it the Raj Hodge Podge. And I'd go ahead and spell it Rodger like normally would because Rodge Hode Podge makes sense, but then it would disrupt this whole Rajah thing I've got at the top of the page. Just roll with it.

I’m ordering pizza the other day and the Pizza Pizza website is just ridiculous. First, they list all the toppings for you to choose from... which look to be in some quasi-alphabetical order.

They call mushrooms ‘fresh mushrooms’. Fuck that, mushrooms should be after jalapeno peppers. And roma tomatoes? Who cares? Tomatoes start with T. I guess it's close enough to R that it doesn't matter, but I can’t excuse mushrooms starting with F.

Then, one you get past the bullshit topping menu, they offer special instructions.

Who, pray tell, is counting flocks of birds in the billions? Rounded up to the nearest billion, I guess. I would lose count after sixteen, honestly. And have you ever seen a giant flock of birds? Usually, you'll get shit on at least once. If you ever see a flock of a billion birds, you'd better have an umbrella ready. And the Idiot's Guide to Prayer.

I ran across this auction on eBay the other day.

Really? You know you can get this stuff at face value at the bank, right? I also spotted this sign at the bank.

Can they just cut the bullshit and say yes or no?

A while back, people got all pissy on Facebook because Facebook revised their terms of use and basically said they owned all of their users’ photos and could do whatever they wanted with them. They decided to form a group letting Facebook know they wouldn’t stand for it.

Aside from the fact that they’re still standing for it, they really need to change the name of the group.

Unless someone decides to invite 99 million more people, and that’s only if they round up.

Also, with a name like this...

You’re really setting yourself up for disappointment.

RANDOM BONUS: NEGOTIATION SKILLS

I don't know who I hate more... the guy who wrote both of these books, or anyone who's dumb enough to buy either of them.