Author: davewaite

Shane was right, and admitting that sucks. Last week, I gave you guys the option of taking one thing from me: soda, fast food, porn, or booze. All the other choices would’ve been better for my health, but Shane said “they’ll pick porn because it’s funny.” I had more faith in you…but I was wrong! Somebody on Twitter said they picked porn causes it’s funny. Fuck you, twitter guy. Wednesday: Because I wasn’t happy giving up porn, I went to McDonald’s and got a big-ass soda and McChicken. I’ll show you, Internet! Just like at a real job, my boss made me mad,… Read more“No Porn Week Recap”

Pick what goes into my pie hole for the next 7 days Diet Week No Red Meat No bread Eat 1 salad a day 8 glasses of water Survey Maker Ok this week is Diet Week!Vote on these dietary changes for the next 7 days#oneyeardave — dave waite (@davewaitecomedy) June 14, 2016

Lessons Learned the Hard Way. They call my Dad Dave The Hard Way because he does things the hard way. I spent most of my life trying to convince myself “hey I’m not my Dad” and then one day i woke up wearing Dad shirts and saying things like “cut it out.” My Dad told me “women are always right,” which is some simplistic cryptic dad advice. What I think he was trying to say is that it’s easier to agree than to disagree. It’s not worth the trouble, and also …women are probably right. I had to learn that lesson the hard… Read more“Midweek update”

There’s a voice in my head that says “How are you gonna make walking interesting, bro?” Then an Old Hippie voice pops in my head “It’s not about walking man, it’s about the journey.” Ok, fair enough, Old Hippie voice. When making a change, start small. You have to get some wins under your belt. They say an absence of purpose leads to depression. Walking reduces anxiety and depression. I have a purpose now with this project. So, maybe I can walk out of this depression? Day one, first walk, two blocks in and I see a lady wearing a shirt that reads… Read more“Week one recap: Forrest Gump of Dirtbags”

I can over do it from time to time. So now it’s time to show some restraint. So for the next 7 days I’ll abstain from one of the following. Just say no week No Booze No Fast Food No Soft Drinks No Porn Do Quizzes Starting tomorrow I'll go a week without one of the following things you choose. #justsayno #oneyeardave #change — dave waite (@davewaitecomedy) June 7, 2016 So Porn won big time on twitter and it when combined with this poll Porn still wins.

I’m excited by this project. But, I’m also afraid. My anxiety paralyzes me, that’s the fear. I’m afraid of doing nothing, of failing you and myself. I’m afraid of the inevitable self loathing that I put myself through if I fail. It’s like getting into a bar room brawl that spills into the street, with myself. I beat myself up pretty bad. In high school I kicked a game winning field goal. That’s why kicking a field goal is on this list. But in the first half of that game I missed a couple of kicks and by half time I was crying… Read more“Failure is not an option or is it?”

I’m a comedian, which means I haven’t had to develop grown-up skills. Every year, I tell myself I’m gonna get my shit together, but then my brain gets Zapped and I get distracted for the rest of the year. I eat garbage, I don’t exercise, I waste entire days thinking about how to waste the day. I’m not accountable to anyone else, I’m free range, and that’s the problem. I need a boss, someone to answer to, for my personal life. So, now it’s you. You’re hired, way to go. For the next year, I’m putting the internet in charge of my life…. Read more“One year Dave”