Rugby league has a long and proud history of producing brilliant and colourful nicknames.
The Immortals of the special St George era of the 50s and 60s, all had creative monikers with Norm ‘Sticks’ Provan, Reg ‘Puff’ Gasnier, Johnny ‘Chook’ Raper and Graeme ‘Chang’ Langlands.

There was some good form from the Sea Eagles too. After paying Cliffy Lyons the ultimate compliment in dubbing him ‘God’, they went on to name Steve Menzies ‘Jesus’, because he was always right there at God’s right hand.

Even today, we still have some top notch nicknames floating around — none better than James ‘Bupa’ Graham (explained below).

So from Martin ‘Chariots’ Offiah to ‘Waltzing’ Matt Hilder, let’s take a look back at some of the game’s best ever, and encourage the current crop to forget trotting out ‘Smithy’, ‘JT’ and ‘SJ’, and start taking pride in this underrated aspect of the greatest game of all.

Ten of rugby league’s best nicknames:

Martin ‘Chariots’ Offiah

It would’ve been one of the great nicknames regardless, but with Offiah being British and one of the fastest men to have ever played the game, it had extra layers. Of course, the historical film Chariots of Fire centres on two UK sprinters at the 1924 Olympics.

Phil ‘Whats-a-packet-a’ Sigsworth

It would make current smokers cry if we mentioned what a pack of darts were worth in the early 80s when Sigsworth was playing fullback and five-eighth for Newtown.

‘The Brick With Eyes’ Glenn Lazarus

‘The Brick With Eyes’ Glenn Lazarus won premierships with three different clubs.Source: News Corp Australia
Arguably Roy and HG’s best because... well for one the brick with eyes is a fitting physical description (even more so when he had the old flat-top head of hair in his playing prime), and two the moniker not only stuck throughout his career but was even used on his parliamentary website when he became a senator in rugby league retirement.

Menzie ‘The Jukebox’ Yere
The former PNG international was given the nickname because the hits just kept on coming. A legend of the Sheffield Eagles, Yere has smashed try-scoring records for the club over the past 10 seasons, and fans even paid for Yere and his family to gain citizenship and avoid deportation this year.

‘Waltzing’ Matt Hilder
The person responsible for this one should take a bow. Think of Australia’s unofficial national anthem if you’re struggling with it, but we really hope you’re not. Hilder played more than 200 first-grade games before retiring after the 2013 season due to repeated concussions.

James ‘Bupa’ Graham

James Graham and Aiden Tolman at Bulldogs training. Picture: Gregg PorteousSource: News Corp Australia
Jim Dymock was assistant coach at the Bulldogs when he was credited with this absolute beauty on James Graham. He started calling Graham ‘Bupa’ because of the health insurance company’s advertising campaign “Find a healthier you”. Dymock reckoned the English international found his in Canterbury front-row partner Aiden Tolman.

Petero ‘Petrol Seventy-Cents-A-Litre’ Civoniceva

Petero ‘Petrol Seventy-Cents-A-Litre’ Civoniceva always had plenty of gas in the tank. Pic: Peter WallisSource: News Limited
Another Roy and HG classic. What made it even better was that the champion front-rower always seemed to have plenty of fuel in the tank and just kept rolling forward. Plus petrol back then would’ve been closer to 70 cents a litre than 170 as it is now.

Reg ‘Puff’ (The Magic Dragon) Gasnier
One of the original Immortals, Gasnier earned the nickname thanks to his freakish feats in the Red V. The Prince of Centres was an integral member of that special St George era, and men who played with and against him backed the Magic Dragon call without hesitation.

Brian ‘Poppa’ Clay
Story goes, Clay was having a shocker at training one evening, dropping balls left right and centre, while playing for Newtown. So his coach Col Geelan yelled out ‘What’s up Pop, getting a bit stiff in the joints?’. Clay was also prematurely balding so the nickname had no trouble sticking. Of course, he went on to win a swag of premierships with St George.

Jamie ‘Ferris’ Buhrer
During his Manly days, Buhrer gained this nickname in reference to the 80s Matthew Broderick flick Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. We can neither confirm nor deny it had anything to do with Buhrer taking one too many ‘sick’ days during the Sea Eagles’ tough pre-seasons.