It's Fine, I Know I'll See You Again in Class Tomorrow

Just hear me out for a second, okay?

Somewhere out there is an author writing a book about us and how our eyes met in the dark with that documentary about some photographer gently lighting us in the background, and in their version we’re already slow dancing to the voices in our heads and taking secret pictures of each other when we aren’t looking (because we’re lame and we sure as hell know it). They’re writing of how I try to sing the songs you compose and you don’t mind when I get lost and blurt out things like “I think I love you because when you get too close I feel the flight response in my knees and my sister always told me when your body thinks you’re gonna get hurt, it’s fight or flight and I don’t have the muscle memory to fight you.” There’s someone writing about my perfume blending with your breath mints and your father’s questioning look when you walk into the kitchen smelling like me; they’re writing of how we’ll laugh about it all tomorrow. To them, we’re gonna have a tomorrow. I know it won’t work like that. We’re not some sort of twisted disaster romanticized into a story that any high-schooler will find in the library and cling to. That’s not us, okay? That’s not gonna be us. I won’t leave this as another typical “we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it”, listen, that bridge was never built. My hands were too blistered and worn to hold on to yours but I swear to every grave I’ve held my breath while passing, this is not our ending. Our clock hasn’t stopped ticking, not yet. Are you getting this? I know it’s not simple but just lend me your hands for a second and I swear our fingertips will know what to do, okay? Let’s enjoy right now. Let’s break all the rules we force ourselves to keep in an attempt to spare the burn. Let’s sit criss-cross-applesauce on my ugly red carpet and act like it’s not following every cliché. Let’s take our time saying goodnight and laugh at the wrong moments. Let’s ignore the ever-pressing countdown of the calendar; let’s be here right now.