Date: Sun, 17 Jan 2010 16:01:17 -0800 (PST)
From: Jacques Saint Clair
Subject: From the shadows part one - fantasy
The sky was a deep ominous charcoal, just waiting to tear open and
pour down upon me. The school day was finally over, and the parking lot was
congested with all the egger teenagers racing to their cars so they could
begin their three day weekend. Unfortunately I watched all this from the
cold, dirty window of the bus. Sophomores aren't allowed to park at school,
only juniors and seniors, ridiculous if you ask me, but I guess there has
to be some privileges saved for the upper classmen in the hierarchy of high
school. So as usual I was in my seat waiting for the bus to fill up. I
played my music, getting lost in it. Music has always been an integral part
of my soul; it always seems to entwine itself within my spirit bringing
forward my feelings and emotions. So I just stared out my window and I
listened to the romantic notes of Claude Debussy's "Reverie".
I felt the seat sink in as he sat down. I was too busy day dreaming
to even notice him, if I had I would have put my bag in the seat next to
me, but unfortunately he was already there. I have to admit though, his
sexy face is quite hard to miss; though, his reputation isn't easy to miss
either. Erik Connelly is the 6'2 brunette junior, whose football stardom is
the epitome of my high school's "coolness ladder". He was the heart throb
that could be felt within each heart of the girls, a few of the guys, and
one or two of the teachers, including the VP. He had it all going for him
looks, money, sex, and freedom. The only reason I wasn't under his spell
was because I saw past his looks and saw the violent person he was. I never
told anyone except Donna, my best friend, that last year I saw him hit his
ex-girlfriend in the dark room of the photography class. I nearly dropped
my film canisters as I tried to get out before he saw me.
I looked over to take a quick glance at him, something seemed off,
and I couldn't tell what though. The bus started to drive off. After a few
minutes I took another glance over at him and he was staring straight
ahead, but he looked tense like he was in deep thought. I just rested my
head on the cold glass, trying to ignore him as best as I could. That's
when I felt my ear bud pop out of my ear, and his voice clashing with the
calm song I was listening to. "Hey, Abel... uh... how are you doing on your
history project?" his voice sounded unsteady, like he was nervous. "Fine, I
turned it in the day before yesterday" my heavily guarded as I spoke to
him, something didn't seem right, I never see him outside of
history... "What was your project on?" I couldn't help but think 'is he
trying to make small talk?' "The Spanish inquisition" I tried to slip my
ear bud back in when he said "Oh-let me come over tomorrow so you can help
me work on mine, it's about Spanish colonization." My mouth must have
opened or something, because this was the first time he's said more than
three things to me, "fuck off fag", and now he's inviting himself over?!
"Yeah, I don't think so, Erik" my voice came out a lot firmer than I
expected. "Don't be a little bitch about it, I just need help" the way he
said it sounded more like he was pleading than anything malicious, which
was a surprise to me. It took me about 5 minutes to finally get it through
to him that I wasn't able to help him, I even suggested he talk to Mr. Weis
our history teacher, but I had the feeling he wasn't listening to me. He
was starting to bring the subject back up but I was saved by my bus stop.
My mind replayed the day, trying to see if anything led up to the
bus ride. It hit me as I was walking into the kitchen, "his car was in the
parking lot" I mumbled softly as I opened the fridge. "What was that
honey?" my mom's voice scared me, causing me to drop my can of
Pepsi. "Jeeze mom you scared me!" when I looked over at her I saw how nice
she looked. She was in a black knee-length dress with a diamond necklace
with a matching diamond bracelet. I called it her "Holly Golightly"
look. "You look beautiful mom" She thanked me and walked out of the
kitchen. I was jogging my memory to see if I could remember why mom was
dressed up tonight. I walked out of the kitchen and into the dining room,
where my parents stood in front of the antique mirror. Mom was fixing dads
tie as she spoke "Now, Abel, we found out we're going to be gone till
Monday for your fathers promotional ceremony," from the way she said that I
could tell she was a little upset about the added days, "so there is a list
on the fridge with all the emergency phone numbers. Call if anything
happens" I promised to be safe, you know the whole nine yards. She seemed
to ease up just a little bit, but the tension in her stance was still
there. As my mom ran into the kitchen my dad came to me and said softly
"The new sound systems all hooked up. If you don't trash the place, throw a
party" his tone was half serious half joking. I guess he knew I never
would, I have a very... stagnant social life, pitiful I know. 15 minutes
later I was on the cold porch waving at dads receding Audi. Once I was
clear of them I ran back inside, turning my IPod full blast on the new
sound system, and raced to change into my Pj's.
It was about 9:30 when I heard a knock at the door. I was singing
along to one of my favorite Indie songs, most of my songs are Indie, as I
opened the door. That was a mistake. "I wish I had a boyfriend, I wish I
had a... OH! Um... hi Erik" of all the freaking songs I sing that's the one
he has to hear! God damn it! This is probably going to be the new gossip on
Monday. "I see your having a little party in here. Mind if I join" he
pushed his way through the door and started taking off his coat before I
could even tell him no. "Uh Erik my parents aren't home, and I'm not
supposed to have anyone over." I hate how I get a kind of whine to my voice
when I nervous. "It's no biggie just don't tell them. Plus I'm here to work
on the history project" He sounded so nonchalant about all this, it pissed
me off. "What do you mean you're here to work on your project?!" I didn't
sound as ticked as I hoped. "Well you said you couldn't work on it tomorrow
so I figured we'd do it tonight. Everybody wins!" He flopped down on the
couch, and had the audacity to have a sip from my Pepsi, "how do I win?" at
this point I knew I wasn't getting him out till he had all his work done,
but I still wanted to make a fuss. "You get to spend time with me, now
let's get to work!" he looked at me with a cute dimpled smile that would
have worked had I not been ticked off at him. "Let me get another drink" I
started towards the kitchen when he said "There's one here..." "You keep
it... I don't want to catch anything" I made sure the last part was a
whisper but I'm sure he heard it.
Two hours later it was done, mainly by me, but never the less it
was finished. I looked up at him from the floor and said "Okay Erik your
project is done." I tried my best to exaggerate "tiredness" in my voice,
kind of pointless though, I perked up as we got closer to finishing it. "In
a hurry to get rid of me Abel?" he leaned back and put his hands behind his
head as he said this. "It is 11:30..." come on take the hint, please just
take it! "Oh come on you know you stay up later then that," damn it just
leave, "so what do you do for fun?" he looked down at me with a curious
look. "Nothing really, just little things" I didn't want to answer his
question. "AKA porn," he said with a loud, semi adorable laugh, "no, but
how come you're never at school things?" his chocolate brown eyes seemed to
bore through me. "I...I figure I'm stuck with being in school for 12 years
why stay late for a dance no one cares for?" that sounded totally
believable, and I'll also be dining with the queen of tooth fairies
tomorrow at noon. "Oh please you're a fucking genius in school! So why
don't you do the semi-fun things school actually offers?" He was chuckling
as he said this. "I do the things I find fun, ok?" I was back on the
defense. "Like what?" "Well, I enjoy acting in the school plays." "Ok
something non-academic" "Erik I don't need to explain myself to you! Now
I've finished your project so you can leave now." This was more of a
command then a suggestion. "Why are you so angry?" he still had that
chuckle in his voice. I really couldn't hold it back anymore I just snapped
at him, "Maybe I don't want to deal with you and your friends' bull shit!
Because it's quite obvious you and your friends are just trying to fuck
with me!" the words flew from my mouth like venom. "Why do you say that?"
again he was still using that nonchalant tone he possessed so well. I just
shook my head and started putting his project in a pile for him, "just
leave me alone Erik" "No, I want an answer, because no one's messed you
that's one of my friends" again I just couldn't take it anymore, my anger
built up too much. "Did you fucking forget my 7th grade year? Because, let
me assure you that I sure as hell didn't! Erik I've put up with this long
enough, now please just get out of my house and go do whatever the hell it
is you do," but then I really slipped up, " maybe you can go beat up
Michele again" His face went through three different emotions at once;
Pain, Anger, and then blank. He got up, threw his things into his backpack,
and walked out of the house. I sat on the floor shocked at what just
happened. After about 15 minutes I walked over to the sound system and
unplugged my IPod, walked into the kitchen, grabbed my dad's cigarettes and
walked out of the house, grabbing my coat before I left.
I walked down to the neighborhood park, and I laid on top of one of
the stone tables. I stared up into the cool October evening, looking up at
the full moon, looking like a diamond on black velvet. I lit the cigarette
inhaling it. I never smoke unless I need to calm myself; I've probably
smoked 5 times in all my life. My thoughts were sporadic and incoherent,
like every time I tried to complete a thought it would be pulled from my
head. That's when I heard a very calm, soothing voice say "you know there's
nicer ways to kill yourself?" I sprang up and off of the table like a
cat. "You scared me" my voice was shaky and my heart was pounding so hard I
thought I was going to pass out. I looked at the boy sitting on the table,
next to where my head was. He was drop dead gorgeous; his hair appeared to
be a dark chocolate, contrasting against pale skin, and his eyes glowed so
beautifully in the moonlight almost as if they had captured the moonbeams
itself and made their iris' that color. He smiled to himself as he said "I
do that more than you think. So tell me why is a cute boy like you out is
is in the dark dangerous night" I blushed like a little girl when he said
that. I sat back on the table and said softly "It's a long story", he
looked at me and said "I have all the time in the world"