Pages

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Prevention Paranoia

The men who cross my path in the mechanic shop: the delivery guys, the parts guys, the oil guys, the construction guys.
They all look at porn.

I operate under the belief that all teenage boys and most teenage girls look at porn.

It's a silent killer that seeps through computer screens and infects everyone it touches. Feeble filters grow weary trying to block it, and even then: it finds a way where its welcomed.
It finds a way where its not welcomed.

Porn is viewed. Porn is seen. And recovery is hush-hush. Taboo, even. And anyway, if we can PREVENT it, it's not a problem right? Oh, the fragile human brain and it's fragile reasonings.

I've moved into this new reality where I know the guys I work with look at porn. Maybe not everyday. Maybe so.
I accept that a large percentage of my facebook friends are accessing porn with facebook.
I know that porn will find my children. Or my children will find porn.

I know that I will find porn. I know that porn will find my husband.

Porn is part of the reality of The Information Age.
Recovery is a part of the reality of The Information Age.

I will do what I can to prevent porn from coming into my home, but I accept that it will and with that acceptance I will teach my children using truth and openness and vulnerability so when -WHEN -that day comes (and it will come), recovery will naturally breach the realms of my relationship with my spouse and pour into the lives of my children.

Maybe not every person who crosses my counter at work looks at porn -I'm in a very jaded and painful place and drawing very jaded and painful conclusions.

But my reality in 2014 has been completely altered from my reality pre-2014.