2. A new team logo. What does a multimillion-dollar corporation do after decades of infrastructure investment and cultivating customer loyalty? Change their logo, of course! @LADDesignGuy could come up with something suitably hideous, causing massive fan resentment and a debilitating loss of ticket revenue — thereby forcing Frank McCourt to sell the Dodgers.

3. Turn the hunt for a fifth starter into a reality show. The Situation can't dance, but can he hurl? Find out when a gaggle of the finest Z-list celebrities joins the Dodgers at Camelback Ranch to compete for the coveted title of Least Crappy Pitching Reclamation Project. Only on Versus! The spectacle of a baseball version of "Hard Knocks" would make the McCourt divorce seem like a mere humiliation appetizer, causing irreparable damage to the franchise — thereby forcing Frank McCourt to sell the Dodgers.

5. Rename Dodger Stadium. "This isn't the game I grew up with! The game played in the misty ballparks of Enron Field, or Pac Bell, then SBC, now AT&T Park." It's an open secret that Frank could make a mint selling the naming rights to Dodger Stadium — which he has resisted doing thus far. But if Jamie takes him to the cleaners, the Boys in Blue could soon be playing at Fatburger Field. Vin Scully, however, would refuse to utter the name, causing a media firestorm and leading fans and players alike to boycott the team — thereby forcing Frank McCourt to sell the Dodgers.