I found this web site while researching my family genealogy and thought it might have some pertinent data. As you might imagine, I have taken some teasing and even abuse over my name, and I find such things to be offensive.

Your crack about Ellis Island is in poor taste, as my family settled in the Hudson River Valley in the early 1700s. My many-times-great grandfather, Otto Kludge, fought at both Saratoga and Yorktown. Other of my ancestors fought at Gettysburg, Belleau Wood, and an Uncle died on Wake Island. My father hiked out of the Chosin Reservoir. My twice-great grandmother was one of the first women physicians in the Oregon Territory and another climbed the Chilkoot Pass. I myself have worked with computers since the middle 1960s and I count Vinton Cerf, Ray Tomlinson, Bob Kahn, and Bob Metcalf among my former co-workers.

I love Rapaire's kludge which is obviously designed to control an automated dispenser of air freshener, using a flexible product labeling scheme in XML to accommodate future new product attributes or scents, for example.

for example - the "good as new" stove he "rescued" from the dump - which required rebuilding the kitchen counter (he made the cabinet to enclose it out of an old bureau) then replacing the cooktop with two portable electric stoves set into an old stainless steel sinktop (vbecause the oven worked but the burners didn't); and the oven timer replaced by a windup-clockwork gadget originally intended to control a lawn sprinkler (which was wired to the sink/cooktop because he didn't want to put screw holes in the stainless) - of course the oven and the two sets of heating elements all had to be plugged in seperately.

No, not Rube Goldberg, because that implies crafting a device that is needlessly complicated to perform a simple task. Rube Goldberg is a sort of left-handed antithetical approach to cobbling together something that necessity decrees must be invented. IMHO.

Your loss, and my sorrow. That your intransigence and reluctance to acquire new knowledge should lead you to cutting off a whole WORD from your vocabulary is indeed tragic, like a man cutting off his whole foreskin because he could only find one of them. Painful, melodramatic and unproductive. Tsk, tsk...

Wake up, Rapaire!! Join the living!! Arise to a NEW day!! Wake up and smell the KLOOODJ!!!

The two are surely full cousins, at the very least. For is not one man's kludge another man's bricolage?? I give you Levi-Strauss, himself, on the bricoleur and his kludgy appetites:

"The analogy is worth pursuing since it helps us to see the real relations between the two types of scientific knowledge we have distinguished. The 'bricoleur' is adept at performing a large number of diverse tasks; but, unlike the engineer, he does not subordinate each of them to the availability of raw materials and tools conceived and procured for the purpose of the project. His universe of instruments is closed and the rules of his game are always to make do with 'whatever is at hand', that is to say with a set of tools and materials which is always finite and is also heterogeneous because what it contains bears no relation to the current project, or indeed to any particular project, but is the contingent result of all the occasions there have been to renew or enrich the stock or to maintain it with the remains of previous constructions or destructions. The set of the 'bricoleur's' means cannot therefore be defined in terms of a project (which would presuppose besides, that, as in the case of the engineer, there were, at least in theory, as many sets of tools and materials or 'instrumental sets', as there are different kinds of projects). It is to be defined only by its potential use or, putting this another way and in the language of the 'bricoleur' himself, because the elements are collected or retained on the principle that 'they may always come in handy'. Such elements are specialized up to a point, sufficiently for the 'bricoleur' not to need the equipment and knowledge of all trades and professions, but not enough for each of them to have only one definite and determinate use. They each represent a set of actual and possible relations; they are 'operators' but they can be used for any operations of the same type.

The elements of mythical thought similarly lie half-way between percepts and concepts. It would be impossible to separate percepts from the concrete situations in which they appeared, while recourse to concepts would require that thought could, at least provisionally, put its projects (to use Husserl's expression) 'in brackets'. Now, there is an intermediary between images and concepts, namely signs. For signs can always be defined in the way introduced by Saussure in the case of the particular category of linguistic signs, that is, as a link between images and concepts. In the union thus brought about, images and concepts play the part of the signifying and signified respectively."

Amos, sounds like anyone who masters kludge is a bricoleur, non? And to prove that they are related terms, I did an advanced Google search in which these two terms MUST appear in the text. I found a nice example.

Here is chapter 6, the summary of the doctoral thesis of one David Cavallo at MIT. Kludge appears on page 3, bricoleur on pages 4 and 8. He seems not to have named this fine document, but it has to do with education in Thailand and other places.

Lift your right foot off the ground and make clockwise circles with it (it's easier if you're sitting down). While your right foot is circling clockwise, write the number 6 in the air with your right index finger.

I have decided. And when I have decided, I stay decided. Rather than engage in mental fisticuffs with Amos, the Sage of San Diego, known from the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli as lettered, as wise, as sagacious, as insightful, as savvy, as caring, as a true Renaissance gentleman of the Twenty-First Century, indeed, as I say, a true Son of Knowledge, one whose Knowledge About Knowlege is second only to my own, I will, henceforth and forevermore, eschew the word "kludge." I will banish it from my vocabulary, and never again will it pass bidden or unbidden from my lips or fingers.

GOOD Rapiare!! KIND Rapaire!! WISE Rapaire!! Not to press the point, INTELLIGENT Rapaire!!! Let me in the saying of it not undo its merit, nay, let me merely assert, SMART Rapaire!! WORLDLY Rapaire!! TRUE, LOYAL, SOPHISTICATED and GENTEEL Rapaire!! I assure you, having used the word amongst seafaring folk since I was merely a candle in every lass's fancy, that the word is pronounced:

KLU-oooooooooo---d-g-ee!! KLOOODJ!!

and does not rhyme with fudge, but with bouge, rouge and smoodzhe.

Of course this may be one of those trick words designed to breed spite among men, by having two equally acceptable pronunciations. But I ain't never heard of no fudge-toned kludge.

Reference:

"A program or feature that works but the author is embarrassed about. Rhymes with "huge," not with "fudge." Sometimes misspelled as kluge. www-ec.njit.edu/ec_info/home/faq/basic/glossary.html"

and fromt he American Heritage dictionary:

"kludge

PRONUNCIATION: klooj

NOUN: Slang 1. A system, especially a computer system, that is constituted of poorly matched elements or of elements originally intended for other applications. 2. A clumsy or inelegant solution to a problem.

ETYMOLOGY: From ironic use of earlier kluge, smart, clever, from spelling pronunciation of German kluge, from Middle High German kluc, from Middle Low German klk."

Beedzerz, I belive you should just change yore name to BeeDumass rather than Tweed, although Tweed habv become synomalous with dumbass obv late. Or you could aslo be called Beedzer-who-is-aslo Tweed-Khandu with likewise results. You must choose carefully as this could lay on you like a boar badger in heat for the rest of yore days... and most obv us here know whut that's like!!

Perhaps (And this is mere speculation for which I have no evidence, but it certainly helps to further muddy the waters. Since when do we need evidence on the MOAB?) the original German word had an umlauted "ü" in it. Since most English speakers have a difficult time with the "ü" sound (Purse your lips like you're going to say "u", but hold your tongue like you're going to say "ee".) most German words with a "ü" get mispronounced. Whether they are mispronounced using a "long u" or a "short u" is a crapshoot and depends largely on the ability of mispronouncer A to enforce his mispronunciation upon mispronouncer B by brute force.

Ahoy, mateys! I've sighted a Reason! And thar she blows and breaches, two points off the larboard!

According to the word experts, "kludge" (also "kluge") comes from German. As we all know, the German language is divided into two parts (unlike Gaul, which was divided into three parts). There's Hochedeutsch and Plattedeutsch, and the etomolygists don't say from which "kludge" (or "kluge") derives. (Notice that I did not end that sentence with a preposition and thereby demonstrate not only my excellent command of grammar and usage, but also [and please note again the correct use of "not only...but also"] my ability, often doubted, to correctly construct compound-complex sentences such as this one.)

My guess, based purely upon my admittedly less-than-extensive knowledge of German, is that it derives from Plattedeutsch. I base this upon a) the statement that it was intended to be an ironic use of the word; 2) that it sounds Plattedeutschy and, 3.7) my ancestors, good working folk that they were, poor peasants barely scraping along under the iron heel of the Hochedeutsch-speaking oppressors, spoke Plattedeutsch.

Ergo (that's Latin, and demonstrates my multilingual abilities), the "d" sound is not only pronounced, but the word is pronounced to rhyme with "fudge" or "drudge", as in the exemplary sentence, "The drudge delivered the fudge but had to kludge the trudge."

There, I've cleared that up and done my daily good deed at the same time!

So what exactly are you all saying? I seem to be lost in this conversation, Not knowing what is, is. Not feeling a part of the natural scheme of the conversation.I am indeed lost in chasm of word relation, not relating to anything I really need to know but it's as if it was forced upon me at birth and with my Mother. Now I think it's coming to me after all. I can, blame this entire confused state of mind on my mother.So forget that I was confused and please go on to make your rhymes up for kludge.

This is all BS. The word rhymes with ROUGE but is spelled K-L-U-D-G-E. It was in wide circulation amongst engine-room snipes long before compooders ever made their bright red scar on the psyche of the species.

And BWL donchew let no Nawtheners intimidate you. You had it right all along!!

But there's such a shortage of words that rhyme with "sploodge". Just think of all the words that rhyme with "spunk" or "jizm"!

So you're probably thinking, "There are no words that rhyme with jizm!" Well, you're wrong! There may not be any two-syllable words that rhyme with jizm, but there are over a thousand words that end with "ism" that can be used to make a perfectly legitimate rhyme.

To wit:

A bank is a symbol of capitalism. But a sperm bank is merely a vault full of jizm.

What? Ya mean "kluge" rhymes with "fudge"? An' I wrote a whole pome rhymin' it with "rouge"! How th' hell wuz I s'posed t' know? I never even heard of th' word 'til yesterday and I shore as hell ain't never heard nobody pronounce it. Yeah, I know yer gonna say, "But Bee-dubya, ya said yerself that 'kludge' is an acceptable spellin' fer th' same word. That shoulda been a big hint. An' ya musta gone to a dictionary t' get that little tidbit of info, so ya coulda looked at th' pronunciation while ya wuz there."

Well...

EXCUSE ME!!!!

Now that I have once again proven myself to be a total idjit, I shall wear sack-cloth and ashes and change my name to "Tweed". I shall abandon the lofty heights of MOAB forthwith and spend the remainder of my Web-surfing days at tweedsblues.net (aka Tweedsburg) where idjits are held in high regard, "idiot" being several steps up the intellectual ladder from the highest level most of its denizens have achieved.

Kludge: Something put together without any elegance, planning or forethought. Comes from the German during the Industrial Revolution. ------ kludge: PRONUNCIATION: klj VARIANT FORMS: kluge

NOUN: Slang 1. A system, especially a computer system, that is constituted of poorly matched elements or of elements originally intended for other applications. 2. A clumsy or inelegant solution to a problem.

ETYMOLOGY: From ironic use of earlier kluge, smart, clever, from spelling pronunciation of German kluge, from Middle High German kluc, from Middle Low German klk.

God told Abraham, go with the kludge! Abe said, Man, you been sniffin' the rouge! God said "No!" Abe said "Huh?" God said you can do what you want, but.... Don't let me catch you hiding, down in Baton Rouge Abe said what do you think the kluge should say? And God said let's just call it Mudcat Café

I learned to spell and pronounce it with a "D" like God intended. I know this, for in the Lost Book Of Moses it is clearly stated that while upon the mountaintop, God kinda messed up writing on stone and put in a "well, it works" patch. God his own self said to Moses, "Well, it's a kludge, but it'll work for now." And Moses responded, "So, then, the adjectival form would be 'kludgy', nu?" and God replied, "You got it." (Lost Book of Moses 23:12-37)

When things are just too messéd up and kludgie Take a breath and light a bougie Find a vinyl platter of good bougie-wougie And soon you'll be back out and hacking lougies Feeling mushie, warm and mooshie Like some sucker in an ole-time moovie!

I regret to inform you that no mater how it is spelled, the word Kluge is pronounced as BWL first perceived to rhyme with rouge, and not much else.

The lassies of Le Quartier wear much rouge, And specialize in moving quickly That which "malheueusement, will not bouge" When baffled owners over-imbibe and murmur thickly. But still, the joy is but a kluge All weary, brief, diffuse, and somewhat sickly.

Hey, you. Morton Terwilliger, the Senile Account in the Department of Rear End Dunces or where ever it is you do what you call work.

Yer poem's reminiscent of yer knowledge of poetry and writing: A Wasteland. A vast wasteland, too. And since you only sit around all day writing cease-and-desist letters to those who can and do, you probably also have a vast waistland.

Anyway, ya silly piece of bureaucratic crapola, I'm gonna do what I want and you ain't gonna stop me. I'll write a whole Alexandrine, a sonnet sequence, a verse drama -- hell, I'll write a whole goddamned epic -- if I want to. Us Americans fought two wars aginst England and saved their butts in two more. We even forgave the Limeys fer outfitting boats like Alabama back during the Recent Unpleasantness Between The States an' therewith sticking their noses into where they didn't belong. You lissen ta me, sucker: it ain't the Queen's English on this side of the pond!

Let us go then, me and you, When the sludge is spread out like a pond of glue, Like a patient lobotomized upon a table. Let us go, though with a certain half-baked kludge, The C-flat retreat Of songless knights in el cheapo squalid bars And turgid restaurants with shotgun-shells Lines that follow like a tedious trudge Of Camusian intent To lead you to an overwhelming decision... Oh, do not ask, `` Is it fudge? '' Let us go become a drudge.

In the room the MOABites stagger and weave Looking for a bucket in which to heave.

It has come to our attention that your Poetic License is severely out of date. In order to pull off the whopper you committed in the Mudcat thread commonly known as MOAB (Mother of all BS threads), please hasten to the nearest English teacher and have your credentials renewed.

This will require your participation in a high school level University Interscholastic League (UIL) "Ready Writing" competition, in which you need to produce metaphoric cal imagery, several aphorisms, at least one whiz-bang allegory, and numerous analog statements.

Report back when this is completed, and you may then, and ONLY then, continue with the bad poetry at said MOAB and other locations.

Sincere Regards,

[signed] M. Terwilliger

Morton Terwilliger, Senior Accountant Department of Poetical Licensing Department, (and acting Chair, Department of Redundancy Department, until that position is filled. If interested in assuming that position, apply at the address above).

And I have known the eyes already, known them all — The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase, And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin, When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall, Then how should I begin To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? And how should I presume?

Hiiiyeeahhall, I am sooo happy that I'm back here to see, ha-ha, read you guys that I just can't tell you in words!! Your talking in my kinda speaking. Ha-ha!! Last time I was here I was going for my swimming meet and I want you guys to know that I won a ribbon on the free dive and a blue ribbon on the extention double curl. I was pretty cool out there. Oh frabjous day! That's what i have to agree with. Thank you all for being so funny and I think iI need to thanks somebody for sticking up for my virtue last time I was here. Thank you who ever you were. Your friend and always, Norma