Share August 31, 2011's comic on:

Transcript

Dilbert: I wonder why people get mad when I point out how dumb they are. I'm just trying to be helpful. I don't want people going through life not knowing what the problem is. I'm kind of like a doctor. Dogbert: I stopped listening back at the house.

Share April 04, 1995's comic on:

Transcript

Pointing to a map, Dogbert tells the Boss, "Your best bet is to relocate the company to Russia." Dogbert continues, "You can hire engineers for two cents a year!" The Boss asks, "Is it difficult to weed out the dumb ones?" Dogbert says, "No. And that leads me into the good news about their occupational safety laws." The Boss says, "It's like heaven!"

Share September 21, 1993's comic on:

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss, Alice and Wally. Dilbert says, "I boosted the power on the pointer pen light so it's easier to see on the wall." Dilbert says, "Look how strong it is now." Dilbert turns the pen on. The beam from the pen burns the hair off the tops of the Boss's and Alice's heads. The Boss says, "Let me see that. I've got a few things to point out." Alice says, "Next."

Share October 26, 1995's comic on:

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Wally and I have a bet about why you assigned me to the same task as three other people." Dilbert continues, "I believe it's a clever ploy to create healthy internal competition. Wally thinks you're just dumber than the average cauliflower." The Boss says, "May I point out that cauliflower is the brain of the fruit kingdom." Wally looks at Dilbert and says, "Yes!"

Share June 11, 2004's comic on:

Transcript

"Asok, I want you to work for the prima donna. Do what ever he tells you."
"May I point out that he has never produced anything except arrogance and noise?"
"You will stand behind me, and when I end a sentence, you will either say, 'Ta-da' or 'case closed.'"

Share April 17, 2008's comic on:

Transcript

Alice: You let Dilbert have two flat screen monitors in his cubicle.
Alice: I'm not the least bit envious, but I should point out that a worker with two monitors should be able to do twice as much work.
Alice: Did you know there are some advantages to having only one monitor?

Transcript

Dilbert: Whats the address for our meeting?
The Boss: You don't need it. I'll tell you where to turn,
Dilbert: With all due respect you are not a reliable navigation system.
You will be using your phone and you will forget to tell me when to turn.
Dilbert: If I point out your inattentiveness you will snap at me,.
Dilbert: I wil be seething with anger for the entire drive, while wondering if I am already lost and don't know it.
or you could tell me the address now.
The boss: You don't need it. I'll tell you when to turn.
AN HOUR LATER
Dilbert: must... not drive...over...cliff....

Share April 01, 2018's comic on:

Transcript

Man: Thank you all for coming to this mandatory class on using the new system. The new system installation is behind schedule, so I'll train you using the old system. Dilbert: we know how to use the old system. Man: I'll point out how the new system is different as we go. Dilbert: Is the new system a lot like the old system? Man: No. Totally different. Dilbert: This is the worst idea I've ever heard. Man: Here are some handouts from the old system's operating guide. Dilbert: This is the Japanese language part of the manual. Man: Are you going to complain about everything?

Share July 21, 2016's comic on:

Transcript

Boss: I can't believe how stupid this person is. Dilbert: How do you rule out the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand his point? Take your time. I can wait. Boss: For starters, he disagrees with me.