Stella’s New Year’s Resolutions – Conversations with Stella

I, Stella, Queen Illustrious and Noble of the Olde English Bulldogges, hereby declare my resolutions for the New Year called 2017 by the humans. Before I begin, what is a resolution?

Me: It’s a decision that you make to do some particular thing, such as to lose a certain amount of weight or to stop smoking or to exercise regularly. People use resolutions to state their intention to break an old bad habit or start a new good habit.

Stella: So it is just humans thinking wishfully.

Me: Well, more like humans thinking hopefully.

Stella: I am glad I asked. It sounds like a waste of time.

Me: People do it when they want to make a positive change.

Stella: Bulldogs don’t sit around saying what they would like to change. They just do it. If a low branch is in my way, I don’t say, ‘Oh, I will work to move that branch out of my way.’ No! I take that silly branch in my teeth and shake it this way and that and snap! No branch in my way no more. No resolutions. Just bulldog action.

Me: Some changes take a process.

Stella: Bulldog process – grab it, shake it, snap it, done. Wait! I know some New Year’s Resolutions I can make. I resolve that Snoopey will stop making her whiny little noises. And I resolve that all the treats in the house should be offered to me first. And I resolve that Tiger will stop interrupting my naps with her snorting. And I resolve…

Me: Actually, it doesn’t work that way. You resolve what you will do. You can’t resolve what someone else will do. They each must do that themselves. Believe me, I tried to set a goal last year that involved some other people and all I could do was carry out my part.

Stella: You should have told me you were having that problem, Lady Human. As Queen, I could have ordered them to cooperate.

Me: Stella, you are queen of some bulldogs and you can’t get them to cooperate. What hope do you have of getting humans to do what you want?

Stella: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!

Me: Whoa! What’s that? What do you want?

Stella: That was me Loud Barking. It works all the time on humans. See how quickly it worked on you?