6.09.2004

My political aspirations destroyed

I can't reconcile conservatism with using government to tell people how to live and much as no one ever grows up wanting to be a crack whore, I've never had aspiration of being a politician. I do admit, however, that I have had the fleeting thought that it would be nice to start a party on my own to preach conservatism as a philosophy rather than an agenda. I never for a second considered it to be something I would really do, but I confess the thought.

The problem is that a party has to have a catchy name or it'll never get off the ground and someone has already ruined the only name that readily rolls off the tongue; "neoconservative".

That would have been a good name for a party, but it was squandered in the course of a few short months by a cadre of loathsome and traitorous whores who never knew what they had.

At first it was a proud title of triumph and people labeled themselves with it in pride and strutted around with their chickenhawk beer bellies sucked in and their noses pointing to the heavens as they preached with their forked tongues the eternal gift of freedom by the sword.

But they quickly decided it was a mark of shame, which it certainly is now, and those very same people started dismissing it as a slur. It's comic thing to watch these rats try to paddle for shore as they claim no association of the ship they just deserted.

"Don't call us that", they say, while their shirts still have the faded spots where you can still make out the words "I heart neoconservatives" across the front. And they aren't fooling anybody with that multi-font tattoo, with "I'm not a" in shiny black Comic Sans MS, and a Times New Roman "neoconservative" in faded black just below.

It was a fine word, too, and a damn shame they ruined it. It would be no use trying to start a party without a good name at the ready.