Host Vernon Kay began the premiere on the "Dancing" set, which happens to be right next door to the "Skating" set. As he walked toward the "Skating" rink, we saw various crew members celebrating his arrival like he's Prince William. Two minutes in, my wife asked the one question all of America was thinking at that moment:

Who in the world is Vernon Kay?

In short, the British-born Kay hosted the blinked-and-you-missed it celebrity talent show "Hit Me Baby One More Time" for NBC in 2005. He also hosts the UK version of "Family Feud."

Vernon arrived on the "Skating" set with the promise that if you enjoy people falling down, this is the show for you. Alas, no one fell during the live performances, so I feel a tad ripped off.

We're then introduced to the "world class" skaters who are paired with the celebrities. Actually, we're not introduced to them by name, but via some bizarre routine that resembled one of the intermission breaks in the movie "The Running Man." Then the celebs were welcomed to the rink, with Sean Young introduced as a "movie icon." Maybe in Sean Young's world...

Vernon then introduced the judges: Olympic medalist Johnny Weir, some choreographer no one has heard of and figure skating legend Dick Button. Fun fact: Dick Button created "Battle of the Network Stars," so he's highly knowledgeable in judging junk.

This was followed with MORE introductions as Vernon revealed his co-host, Olympic medalist Tanith Belbin. I liked Tanith on this show - she did a great job explaining routines to "common folk" like me. I'd rather see her host the show solo than be dumped with Vernon Kay, whose sole role in the premiere appeared to be acting like a very poor man's Craig Ferguson.

Our first celeb out of the gate was actor Brandon Mychal Smith, who Vernon praised for not falling down. Brandon got several rounds of applause during his routine, which doesn't say much when EVERYONE got several rounds of applause during their routines. Brandon got 16 points out of 30 for technical merit, and 20 out of 30 for artistic expression.

Next up was Sean Young, whose skating partner was introduced with a stereotypical "evil Soviet" soundtrack. Watching their performance was like viewing a VHS tape with the VCR stuck on slo-mo. Dick Button urged Sean to "get rid of her girdle" in future performances, and I'm not sure if that's figure skating speak for asking someone out. Sean got 34 total points for her routine.

Olympic medalist Jonny Moseley, who was complimented by Dick for having great knees, delivered a performance that Tanith said set the stadium on fire, even though the audience sounds the same every time. Forty points for Jonny.

Soap star Rebecca Budig came out with guns blazing, and she and partner Fred Palascak earned a show-leading 45 points from the judges.

We then came to rocker Vince Neil, who was actually a competitive skater as a child. His partner, Jennifer Wester, won something called the Nebelhorn Trophy in 2007. Vince stumbled around the rink during his routine, earning a mere 28 points for his effort. At least he didn't fall on his nebelhorn.

Our final celeb, reality TV star Bethenny Frankel, seemed quite fearless on the ice, allowing partner Ethan Burgess to spin and twirl her into complete dizziness. This didn't please the judges, who awarded her just 29 points and causing Vernon to have a fit.

soundoff(121 Responses)

I found nothing interesting about this show. Agree with people who are saying it is like an SNL joke. Doubt SNL would even lower themselves to make fun of something this lame. ABC needs to get rid of it FAST.

This show seemed like a Saturday Night Live skit. Nothing fit, it was a boring mess. The host is so awful and distracting. The judges do seem to be reading off queue cards and are so boring and fake. And why are they judging so hard? The "stars" are hardly stars. And they try too hard to be like DWTS. Not to mention no enthusiasm from the audience.

I turned to SWTS twice from another channel just to get a look. It was so bad I couldn't sustain it for more than 10-15 seconds. Everything about this show is off. I love DWTS but this just doesn't work in any way, shape or form. Painful to watch. A good punishment for someone.

Vince, Vince, Vince......I really should have punched you harder in that airport. Or maybe less hard, whatever would have worked. The singer for the 'World's Most Dangerous Band' is shuffling around on ice skates now? Are you kidding me? I dunno what to say about that. I mean, the only thing worse than that would be the drummer for the World's Most Dangerous Band trying to be a rapper or something. One love, Tommy Lee

The unfortunate thing is that the cast of SNL will be hard pressed to create more awkward moments than the actual SWS had scripted. It was BRUTAL to watch. The only light at the end of the long, arduous, sleep-inducing tunnel is what Joel McHale might write for the Soup on Friday...

If I want to watch dancing I'll watch Dancing with the Stars. I watch figure skating for the lifts, the spins and the speed, not much of which was visible last night. I don't think that this show will ever match the entertainment value of DWTS., plus up close a couple of the women "professionals" really did look like professionals, if you get my drift. As far as the contestants go I remember the "stars" on the first season of DWTS were pretty lame too. It's easier to get actual "stars" when the show is a hit.

They need to throw one of the AK trash kids to get high ratings for at least one show. Let's see the willow tree if she is not too busy destroying people's home. We already know that porker bristol can't dance. Wait, there's track if he is not in jail because the Army won't take him back. I know, I know, airplane piper who never goes to school. She has all the time in the world.

was it just me...or did the judges seem like they were in a SNL skit?? I'm a Motley Crue fan and watched for Vince...really disappointed! I also watch All My Children...Rebecca was awesome! But I won't be watching again... the hosts are awful!

ARE WE BEING PUNKED? Hey ABC execs, if you're gonna not show Castle, then leave the space blank instead of putting on this atrocity. Seriously, you should have another meeting about how badly this SUCKED.

As a skater for thirty five years, I couldn't manage to watch more than five minutes of this show and even that was uncomfortable. I didn't think it could get any worse than DWTS, but this SWTS succeeded.

Jonny Moseley and Rebecca Budig were the only ones really worth watching.

I had never heard of the woman judge but she is a horrible choice. They at least, need a figure skating coach as the third judge, at least she can speak with knowledge of the sport.. The judges need to know about skating and have an established name recognition in the sport. Tanith did give a short synopsis of the teams and her description of what the judges were looking for was interesting.

Will I watch the show next week? I will DVR it and see how the only 2 stars worth watching do. I also want to see what wild makeup Johnny Wierd er I mean Weir has on.

And for those of you who thought DWTS was horrible tune in to this show if you want to be really bored.

I agree......ABC do the right thing and cancel this horrific piece of crap. DWTS' success does not mean you can come up with something else "with the stars". Boring. I watched 10 minutes and went to bed. I won't even watch 10 minutes next time.

Didn't see the show, though I am a fan of figure skating. But from what it sounds like, I can't believe Dick Button would be involved in this. But if Johnny is a judge at least it will be a little bit entertaining. Love him. By the way CNN, sadly Johnny Weir never won an Olympic medal.

This article is hysterical. I hadn't planned to watch, but was too lazy to get up after DWTS. I couldn't finish the opening skating routine. The host is terrible. I can't see anything positive about this show. Was hoping the ice would help my hot flashes.

I didn't watch this show, but if Sean Young was truly the "movie icon" she was introduced as, then there is no way in hell she would be doing this show. Movie icons or movie stars in general wouldn't subject themselves to trash like this if they knew what was good for their careers.

This show was horrible! It made for great joke with my family last night though! I love brandon the disney star guy but it was a horrible show! The judges where horrible! lol it makes me laugh so hard. I is just a dancing with the stars knock off for the "unknown" Stars XD

I tuned in only for Johnny Weir, who I love. I was hoping he'd be a little more animated or even a little nasty. I'll give it a another week or so but if there aren't any fireworks soon, I'm tuning out for good.

Bad bad show.....turned it off after about 10 minutes....Vernon Kay is a walking joke. He might be someone "across the pond" but here he's really another sad example of poor hosting. ABC really needs to figure out a different way to get some decent ratings. The took Castle off for this???? Big mistake.. Nothing like resurecting a bunch of non-consequentials and make them appear to be "stars"....Sean Young......movie icon? ABC apparently forgot what a psycho she really is. Please someone tell ABC to put a wooden steak through the heart of this show....its a joke.....not even close to "Dancing" quality...waste waste waste of network time.

I don't know that I have laughed this hard in a long time. What a terrible show. I am however going to keep watching because I would bet that before the season is over Dick Button is going to say something really inappropriate and I wouldn't want to miss that

The US show is a take off of the Canadian show, Battle of the Blades, which wrapped up its 2nd season this past Monday. The final show ended with a big oops as winner Katie Gordeeva dropped the crystal trophy on the ice! http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Battle-of-the-Blades-Finale-Gordeeva-Bure-win-?urn=nhl-288463

OMG. I couldn't turn it off. I kept thinking REALLY?? Sean Young looked like Gilda Radner doing a spoof on figure skating. The emceeing is like Nickelodean. WHO is that 'expert' choreographer, anyway?? I'll be youtube-ing some of those routines! LOL.

My, what a funny article and comments! But "girdle" is not skating speak for anything! Sometimes Dick Button just says whack things like that. And I'm glad no one fell on their neibelhorn. Johnny, Tanith, and Dick are great! I agree, Tanith should host the show. And this is perfect for Johnny! I don't see how he did his "Pokerface" routine on that ice!

I turned it off after Sean Young skated. I think the show would probably bore me a bit, and I really don't feel like getting started on another "talent/reality" show anyway. I'll stick to my usual favorites. But hey, more power to them.

I only watched because ABC NEVER let us know that CASTLE wasn't going to be ON!!!! WHAT a TERRIBLE choice for ABC to fill CASTLE'S timeslot with this 'show"!!! PUT CASTLE BACK ON THE AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If ABC got any ratings off the show it was because CASTLE fans like me kept hoping it would end soon and CASTLE would air.

What a waste of T.V. time. Like we don't already have enough trash on T.V.
I don't like Frankel , but at least she did something more then the other so called stars. Sean Young was praised pretty hight, heck Frankel was better. Younger yes but let's be honest . Little bit like daning with the stars. All In Who You Are And Know. HUH!!!! Bad Show..

Definately sleeper. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Only 2 out of the 3 judges have skating experience. She looked completely lost during the commentary. Disappointed with Johnny Weir. Hoping he would be the next Bruno.

While I agree this show was lame...(and where's Castle this week???), I think more credit should be give to Dick Button. He didn't just create "Battle of the Network Stars", he invented the freakin' flying camel move and was the first to land a double axel or a triple loop, etc....so, he knows his stuff, people.

And Sean Young is no movie icon. She had two good roles, went crazy, and has been embarassing herself ever since. Everyone else competeing, more power to ya, cause I couldn't do it. I hope you are getting a fat check.

It wasn't great, but it wasn't as bad as many of the sit-coms that are on. Get rid of Vernon Kay, I really didn't care for him. Rebecca Budig was very good as well as Johnny (the skier)...the others ...well, not so good. Have to agree that the "choreographer" wasn't much of a judge, not really sure why she is a judge!!

As an Midwestern American, I find that istening to british people talk difficult. It looks like they are hurting their mouths trying to get words out. Every time Vernon spoke, I kept thinking he sounded like a male version of that chick from "So you think you can dance" and that's not a compliment.

DIck Button – stop spewing the bad jokes from the writers. Random, last-minute pick for a judge, choregrapher lady, please shut up and leave. You are not an expert! Johnny Wier (<3) was the only good thing about the show, both his judging (kind, but on target) and his performance (always amazing), even though he only had 3 quare feet of ice to work with.

Either the photo above is blurred, or the woman is wearing double-bladed skates, which are used when kids are learning how to skate. If the skaters are wearing "training wheels," why not just have them all suspended from cables, so they can "jump" without falling.

This has to be the worst show I've seen all season. It was so bad it seemed like we were being pranked. I notice you missed pointing out the audience being in the dark. It looked like there were only about 40 people there (family members, maybe?), so I think the raucous applause may have been canned. Calling the host a "poor man's Craig Ferguson" is a big insult to Craig Ferguson–maybe a poor man's Joey Greco would be more like it. I have to admit, I DVR'd it and only have watched the first 30 minutes so far, because I just couldn't take it any more. Maybe for a laugh I'll try again tonight. I don't think I'll be wasting the DVR space next week.

This show sounds more than a little lame. I should mention that being from Canada, I get the fun of watching the stunning Battle of the Blades. Former pro hockey skaters with female pros- a distinctly Canadian idea that worked out beautifully. Ekaterina Gordeeva was one of the pros. As far as figure skating goes, she remains one of best talents and biggest superstars.

Uhmmm, I too am Canadian...and the battle of the blades thing is awful as well...just pathetic....I actually feel the hot slap of shame on my face when an ex pro hockey player tries to dance on ice. I am OK with DWTS, I enjoy it, but...hockey players are not graceful, and they are not supposed to be either. the next thing you know someone will try "American League Idol" where baseball players try their hand at singing.....ughhhhh!!!

I watched to see Johnny Weir and Dick Button (!), not the "stars" (or the skating "stars" for that matter). I only stuck around to see Weir's exhibition, which was excellent, by the way, given the postage-stamp size of the rink. If ABC is foolish enough to keep this on the air, they need to get rid of Vernon Kay and the choreographer chick, have Tanith Belbin host, and quite writing "jokes" for Dick Button. Button can be entertaining enough with his cutting critiques, as evidenced by his Olympic commentating. Oh, and @justme: watching figure skating and being surprised to see gay men is like going to a pro football game and being surprised to see steroid-sucking jocks. Just sayin'.

Okay, Vernon whatshisname turned me off from moment one. What is all this stuff about having a British host? Do some people find this especially appealing? Yuck.
Thought this might help me recover from the Palin drama on DWTS, but no. After five minutes, I went to do something else.

I watched this 'show' last night and was horribly disappointed. I didn't think that it would be a very good show to begin with because of the cast they had. I was upset that I didn't know ANYONE on this show with the exception of a couple of the 'stars', Tanith, Johnny W, and Dick Button (only because I watch skating occasionally). As soon as Laurieanne opened her mouth, all I could think about was how SNL could have SOO much fun with her. She was a complete overexaggeration!! Probably won't tune in again. ABC could have done better!

Train wreck, it didnt work on Fox a few years back, not wasting my time when they do nothing but glamorize the gay lifestyle with jonny weirdo . whcih is why I stopped watching skating to begin with, I have no desire to watch a gay guy in drag swish across the ice.

I tuned to this show just to see what all the hype was about and this show was a snooze fest. It was so bad, after watching it for about five minutes, I tuned back to football... Now, you can't go wrong with MNF.

Are you kidding me? They didn't have Bristol Plain skating so no way i'm watching again! Actually Vince skating on Ice looked eerily similar to Bristol dancing on the dance floor. Jeez, didn't ABC watch this in rehearsal and think no way we can put this god awful show on.

Probably the worst produced show I have ever seen in my life. I couldn't tell if the judge who was "so honored to be the prescence" of Sean Young was being serious or sarcastic. It didn't look like Sean Young could tell either. The whole reason dancing is entertaining is because its fast paced. None of these people even have a chance to become good enough at figure skating where this is an entertaining show.

This was awful....the rink is about the size of my living room, but after second thought they really don't need a big rink because they skate about the speed of my dead grandmother.

Doesn't look like anyone thought this one through. Some idiot had an idea and they ran with it...quickly. They forgot about the simple fact that it takes years to learn how to become a half-way decent skater. It's kinda like watching gymnastics with the stars or classical piano playing with the stars....unless someone has considerable experience doing it, they are going to suck, big-time. Dancing is one thing you can get away with and may it look pallatable in a week. Doesn't work with skating....need about 10 months prep, not 1 week.

Will be fun to seem them finish off this series online or youtube after it's pulled in 1-2 weeks. UNLESS, these guys start taking some real risks skating fast & out of control then go flying into the audience or something, if that doesn't happen....I was nice knowin ya.

Wasn't this show on Fox some years back? It didn't work then and it doesn't work now. I watched the first dance and thought...it's only 9 something why do I feel like it's midnight?! The show is snooze inducing for sure! I didn't watch when it was on Fox and I won't be watching now. It's a horrible premise and why is Laurieanne a judge?! She's a choreographer...I know she doesn't choreograph routines on ice so how is she relevant to the show. Just cancel now ABC...CANCEL NOW!!!!!

Get Rid of Vernon Kay
Make the skating rink bigger
Tanith should host the show
Get more well known Pro Skaters and better celebrities
but Vernon Kay turned me off from the time he opened his mouth and the whole way through

Not only are the contestants subpar, the ice rink smaller than my living room and the BOTH hosts dull and WHO THE HECK ARE THEY?!, the judges were even more dull in their critiques. They seemed to be reading their comments off que cards that someone was writing as they were reading them! Johnny Wier, not a fan, was even more dull than I could ahve ever expected. This show should have been on NBC to compete with Dancing with the stars. SOOO BAD

I only watched DWTS the season Heather Mills was on because I was hoping her leg might fly off. I mean, that would be hilarious, right? The skating show has a much higher probability of someone falling down and busting their @ss. That's got to make it more watchable right there. But, I won't watch it either. I have more important things to do with my time...like making comments on CNN stories. ; )

What a train wreck! what is nect, sycronized swimmimg with the statr? I thought Johnny Weir was the sencond coming of Boy George. Flamboyant is an understament. Thank goodness for Monday Night Football.