Amy Gehrt: Solution to violence problem begins with parents

Friday

Jun 13, 2014 at 3:00 PMJun 13, 2014 at 3:06 PM

By Amy GehrtMore Content News

This week, news broke of yet another school shooting. Sadly, they are becoming all too frequent — a point that was driven home by some startling statistics released later that same day.According to data compiled by Everytown.org, Michael Bloomberg’s gun-control group, there have been 74 since Newtown — about one every week that school was in session.However, that number is somewhat misleading, because it includes incidents involving a firearm being discharged inside or on school grounds ­— including assaults, homicides, suicides and accidental shootings.CNN reports that 15 of the school shootings on the list were similar to Tuesday’s tragedy in Oregon. Still, that’s no small number, and it indicates a disturbing trend may be taking root — and schools aren’t the only battleground. Acts of kid-on-kid violence are taking place virtually everywhere these days.After each one, the finger-pointing predictably ensues. The anti-gun lobby decries the “lack of gun laws” in America, while the other side tries to claim it only happens in “blue states,” so surely Democrats must be to blame. Yet in their haste to turn tragedy into a political party platform issue, most Americans seem to be missing the obvious questions: Just what has made so many kids think being angry or unhappy gives them the right to take innocent lives? Why do they believe only their own personal happiness matters?Let’s be honest, even the strictest gun laws in the world wouldn’t make a difference. These same kids would use homemade bombs, knives, hammers, vehicles — the list of deadly weapons on which they can get their hands is pretty endless, and the Internet has all kinds of helpful how-tos on creating a host of others.Should we ban the Internet, too? Maybe violent video games, movies and TV shows, while we’re at it? Heck, why stop there. The Bible has some pretty gory stories, so maybe that should go, too. And sure, knives are great kitchen tools, but you’ll just have to cut that steak with a spoon because some people can’t handle having sharp objects around without giving in to the temptation to kill. And good luck building anything without your trusty hammer — 518 people were killed with blunt objects in 2012, compared to 322 who were killed with a rifle, according to the FBI’s latest available figures.So no, guns aren’t the problem. Nor are the liberals — or the conservatives, either, for that matter. We need to stop playing the blame game and, as a nation, work together to figure out why so many young people are capable of plotting these brutal crimes at the drop of a hat.Case in point: two 12-year-old Wisconsin girls decided to repeatedly stab another little girl — their friend — during a game of hide-and-seek May 31. The terrifying attack was planned out ahead of time, and one held the victim down while the other plunged the knife into her body 19 times. Nineteen times. The reason? To impress a mythical creature called Slenderman.And let’s not forget the misogynist who killed six people before taking his own life May 23, and whose main complaint seemed to be that girls didn’t like him.Are these kids all so used to getting their way that they are incapable of handling even the smallest setbacks or obstacles? Do they lack any measure of empathy, not to mention responsibility or accountability? And if so, who’s really to blame?It seems to me the parents are a good place to start. So many cave into their child’s every whim and desire, and are more worried about being a friend than a parent. Little Johnny got a bad grade? It must be the teacher’s fault, because my little angel is perfect.Even the judicial system sometimes seems to be suffering from a bad case of helicopter parenting, as evidenced by the 16-year-old boy who plowed into and killed four people while very drunk — and high on Valium — last June, then left the scene after telling police, “I’m outta here.”His defense claimed the wealthy teen was accustomed to getting “whatever he wanted” and therefore wasn’t accountable for his actions ... and, rather that teach the teen an accountability lesson he wouldn’t soon forget, the judge let him off with probation. Who wants to take bets on how long it will be before that teen takes another life?So here’s a crazy idea, America. Rather than ban anything that can be used to kill, why don’t we instead nip the problem in the bud and actually teach our children that they are not the center of the universe, and they will have to learn how to deal with disappointment and, yes, even mean people, in the real world. And if they don’t, they will have to face the consequences on their own.-----Amy Gehrt is the city editor of the Pekin (Illinois) Daily Times. She may be reached at agehrt@pekintimes.com, or on Twitter @AmyGehrt. The views expressed in this column are not necessarily those of the Pekin Daily Times or this publication.