No Means No: They Are Not His Choice

Hello Hello! I know, I know. It has been way too long since I last posted on here. Rest assured that it has not been by choice. So many random things were occurring, but I will spare you the details and get right to the “deets” of what’s been going on with my single journey.

Oh my word, I honestly don’t know where to start. Well, for the last couple of months I have had an admirer. I know you must be thinking, don’t we all have admirer’s? Well yes, but this particular admirer was very consistent and forthcoming about his intentions. He caught my attention because he was very chill with his pursuit, not to mention he had a smile that lit up the room. Several months passed before he even asked if it was okay for us to exchange numbers.

During this time I found that we had so much in common. It was almost scary how much. He was very catering, and that was something new for me. By nature I am a very catering and nurturing woman, but to receive it was so refreshing. If he saw a need, he did what he could to fill it. If I was under the weather, he went out of his way to suggest remedies and even provided his tried and true products. He enjoyed conversing as much as I and that was a breath of fresh air. I could go on and on about what a great guy he is. And by now you are most likely thinking, yesss….that sounds amazing! But..there is a but involved. Something was missing.

I went to God about this situation several times, and in my spirit I didn’t sense that this man was his choice for me. This guy was wonderful in a lot of ways, but the more we conversed the more I began to see this was not my “person”. I wish I could tell you that I immediately revealed this to him, but I can’t. I struggled with cutting the friendship off. I enjoyed his conversation, and I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy the attention. It was nice having someone look at you as more than a mommy, and the adult conversation was great. Being a stay at home, single Mom is sometimes lacking in that area.

We never considered ourselves courting or dating. We were simply two individuals who were taking the time to get to know one another to determine if it could develop into more. In fact we only went out twice. Neither one of us desired to rush anything. But as I said, the more we conversed, the more I became aware that this wasn’t God’s choice. The more I tried to prolong the situation, the more things he allowed to be revealed to confirm his word. He wasn’t going to allow me to go down that path again, and neither was I.

One thing in particular that was revealed that really sealed the deal was the fact that this individual did not practice celibacy in their relationships. That lil tidbit of information came up in a conversation and in my mind, “I was like, okey dokey….there it is Lord.” If you read my blog, you know I am celibate and dedicated to saving myself for my husband. We MUST be on the same page in that regard. Can I be real? I have been celibate almost four years. That takes strength. I can’t afford to become entangled with someone who is okay with taking it there. No temptations desired on this end. I need to know that my man’s convictions are just as strong and that he is willing to assist in keeping that area in order. A few other things came to light as well, and at that point I was ever so willing to heed his voice and keep things friendly and forego any thought of anything romantic with this individual.

The lesson I learned was to ALWAYS listen to the FIRST time God reveals that they are not the one. It is so much easier when a lot of time has not been put In. Less of your emotions are wrapped up in it and it just makes for an easier process. Honestly I had my reservations from the beginning, but because I questioned if my nerves were getting the best of me because it was my first attempt at stepping back out there after my divorce, I opened myself up a bit to test the waters.

Like I said, God was right. He is always right! And I am so thankful that he loves me enough to only want HIS best for me. He knows the purpose and destiny he has called me to, and he knows the man that will complement and fit right into that call. I am well aware that there are things he has placed within me that will complement my future spouse’s vision and destiny. And I am delighted and overjoyed that God won’t allow me to waste time or allow me to give away pieces of me that are meant for another.

If you are in a situation that feels good, but your spirit just can’t find real peace with, take it to God in prayer. Chances are that he spoke to you in the beginning as well, but like me you second guessed his voice. You questioned whether it was really him and could have been just you over thinking things. If it’s his voice he will confirm it. And if you truly have God in his rightful place in your life, he will allow you to see why it is not his fit for you.

And it may not even be negative things that he shows you. It could just be that you are just on different paths in life. And in some cases he may reveal things about an individual that possibly contradict things that you believe. Just be open to hear his voice and act accordingly. He only has our best interest in mind. Relationships are not simply for our enjoyment. Instead they are vehicles in which God desires to express his love and commitment to others. When God brings two individuals together, there is a specific purpose that their union will carry out. And when God is the center of your relationship, it all makes sense. You will have a peace about the connection.

So I encourage you to never settle! Stay close to the Father and heed his instructions. Don’t allow temporary pleasures to get you caught up in a situation. Always keep in mind that you are someone’s equal whole. Someone is praying for you and waiting for the day your path’s cross. Wait for his Best. You are truly worth it! I love you all! Many Blessings!