I Kind Of Don’t Care Anymore, But Here Goes…

Jennifer Aniston emphatically tells People magazine that she is, without a doubt, NOT engaged to “The Break-Up” co-star Vince Vaughn.

“I’m not engaged and I don’t have a ring and I haven’t been proposed to,” Aniston said in a telephone conversation she initiated to debunk the engagement rumors. “Normally we don’t even acknowledge these things because they’re endless, at this point. The thing that got me was that I was getting phone calls from Greece! My Aunt Mary in Greece is getting accused of lying! I mean, they’re getting angry.

“My dad calls and he says, ‘Honey, it’s on the CNN crawl,’ and I’m going, ‘Wait a second!’ When it starts to travel over into the Today show and CNN and supposedly reliable and accurate news programs, then you just go, ‘This is insane.’ People are getting fed a lot of bull.”

Personally, I’ve stopped caring. However, it’s my job to write about it, so I guess I officially retract any congratulations I’ve put out in the world for the couple. Sorry, Jen. My plans for a secret engagement party for you have now been ruined and I just want to see if I can return the cupcake tree I bought because if not, I’m going to have to eat the whole damn thing myself cause Courteney Cox’s skinny ass sure ain’t gonna help me.