Romance and the Stay at Home Mom

It can be hard feeling romantic after spending all day with the kids. You're often worn out by the time your husband gets home, and there are probably still the dinner dishes to be done and the kids to get ready for bed. It's often no wonder romance falls by the wayside.

But if you work at it you can restore the romantic aspects of your relationship.

If sheer exhaustion is a part of the problem, make sure your husband understands that. And then tell him if you need more help when he's at home. His job has definite hours. Yours does too, if you consider 24/7/365 definite. Make sure these things are well balanced.

That doesn't mean hand your husband a long list of chores the minute he walks in the door, of course. But things like doing the dishes together and putting the kids to bed together are quite reasonable to ask.

Take the time for touch in your relationship. After the kids are in bed, haul out the massage oils and take turns massaging one another. Even if you're too tired for more than massage, you will both feel better for it.

If you have a fireplace, take advantage of it. Light up a fire and cuddle up together in front of it. No TV, no interruptions. Chocolate covered strawberries are a nice touch for this one.

If you can get the kids out of the house, plan a special dinner for just the two of you. Haul out the good china you got for your wedding but rarely use. Make something special for dinner. Light candles. Dress for it. Try to have everything ready before he gets home. And try to have most of the cooking mess cleaned up. You don't want dirty dishes to ruin the mood.

If you pack his lunch, leave little love notes in it. If he doesn't, how about sneaking a note into his pocket or wallet. Just a little something to make him smile, nothing that would embarrass either of you should a coworker get a glance.

How long has it been since the two of you went on a date?

If babysitters for the kids are hard to come by, make a date at home. Put on some favorite songs and dance together. Watch a romantic movie. Go outside and watch the sun set.

Don't forget to kiss each other every day. Really kiss, not just a peck on the cheek. And tell each other "I love you" every time you think of it.

It can be tough keeping those romantic feelings going when you have children, rougher when you spend your entire day caring for them and just feel wiped out. But romance does not need to disappear from your marriage just because of that. Take the time and show your husband that a stay at home mom still knows her romance.

About the Author

Stephanie Foster knows how easy it can be to be too tired for romance as a stay at home mom. She offers more romance tips at http://www.homewiththekids.com/marriage/ for stay at home moms and also has a forum for stay at home parents .