7 perks of being a little girl

There is something about me that makes people think I am still a little girl. I am still definitely young and quite skinny on top of that – but since I am not short, I can barely pass as petite. Yet still I have this little girl vibe about me. Maybe my eyes are just slightly too big? My voice – a teeny tiny bit too high pitched? I don’t know. A little girl, that’s what the world wants me to be.

Out of all the things in the world, it was Zootopia that reminded me how frustrating being a little girl can actually be. I’ve made a tiny review of it over on my Facebook page – feel free to pop in (and definitely book yourself some cinema tickets!) – but I feel like I need to go back to that topic. You see, Zootopia is a film about me. Sort of. I’d make a terrible detective, to be honest; but to some extent I am, maybe not the first, but definitely an early adaptor of being a bunny cop. I am a little girl in a world of men.

Don’t even let me start on the countless cringeworthy situations I have to go through – my main method of surviving all the pats on the back and other super sweet signs that my opinions do not matter whatsoever is to ignore it and just move forward. Moreover, this wasn’t meant to be rant on how awful it is to be patronized based on your age and looks and gender and characteristic… or to be patronized in general. No. This was meant to be a little reminder to me – and the other little girls of the world – that sometimes we can turn this all around and take advantage of our situation.

After all, being a little girl is kind of cool.

People love helping a little girl

I struggle with accepting the fact that people are kind. I struggle even more with accepting the fact that people are kind to me. I am the last person to ask a stranger for help – which sometimes could make life quite difficult.

But it just doesn’t. There is something about me – this little girl syndrome – that makes people jump to help me at the first sign of struggle. I don’t even have to send them as much as a helpless look. It just… sort of… happens.

In addition to that, I can ask any silly question in the world and no one cares. No need to pretend I am super smart and super competent. No one expects me to be.

A little girl barely ever waits

You know how people always laugh that a girl will be served at the bar quicker than anyone else? Well, that kind of works. Kind of, because it stretches way past bartenders. How many queues have I skipped in my life just because I could? They’re countless. Could I do so without my little girl vibe? Probably not.

People barely ever ask me to wait. Or stand, if they could give me their seat. As if I were five and needed my candyfloss bought here immediately.

Things just magically… do themselves around a little girl

There is a funny thing with me and knives. Every time I try to cut something, I lose my knife within the first thirty seconds – usually to a person who claims they cannot look at a knife + me combo. It just happens. No one even asks if I mind.

So people cook for me, clean for me, do my shopping for me and very rarely listen to me complaining that maybe, maybe I could just do it myself. In the minds of oh so many I am incapable of surviving by myself – rather amusing when you consider that I alone for quite a few years and somehow (through a magical trick I suppose) I did not starve to death.

A little girl never takes the blame

I also get away with things way more often that I’d like to admit. I am a nefarious little thing; you know all kids are evil. There is this essence of pure wickedness inside of me; I mentioned it once before when I talked about human cats. You can imagine how well being wicked goes along with being excused for everything.

Well for me, that is.

This notwithstanding people are just so eager to forgive me. They’re even more eager to not believe I could do anything wrong. This is probably the best perk of the little girl – but also the most frustrating. Sometimes I just want to be told off; not just given a pat on the head along with a little there there.

Cuteness is everywhere in a little girl’s life

The amount of cute things in my life is INSANE. I, a grown-up woman with a job and luckily still mortgage-less, can own every single plushie in the world and still no one bats an eye. Ever. Somehow it is expected of me, this tendency to keep my childhood close.

I can talk to cute animals too; talk, and point at them on the street, and make cute noises. If my boyfriend tried that… Well, that’d be the end of his reputation. I can do my awws as much as I like. No one cares.

I guess it must be hard, to live with a little girl vibe around you and hate cute stuff. So many gifts to bin.

No one expects anything of a little girl

The expectation bar from society for me is not only low – it is non-existent. I can do whatever I want and I will never disappoint anyone, mainly because no one thinks I am capable of anything. Simple as that.

The sad part of this aside – I like to think of it as a get out of jail free card. Can one be freer than expectation-less? I doubt that. Sure, it might be harder to make your place in the world when no one actually thinks you are capable of making a difference – but at the very least no one is standing over me, making sure I follow some well-crafted plan.

A little girl will steal your heart

This is something I personally lack – but I have seen oh so many little girls pulling it off. The power of stealing one’s heart almost instantly. That irresistible sweetness.

Well, I guess I am too tall for that.

All jokes aside – I always blamed parental instincts for all of these. All of these people jumping to help me, they all seem to think of me as a child. And how many people can resist a child in need? Not as many as you would think.