I thought I'd drop in to explain why I'm such a twat at updating. Well, it's because I'd already written the first 15 or so chapters ahead of time before deciding to publish this story to fictionpress. Now that I have nothing saved in Microsoft Word to upload...I actually have to write and not occasionally step in to update a pre-written chapter. I know where this story is going but I don't really know what to write right now... everything I try to write is turning out ... well, shitty. I honestly feel like skipping to the good parts but then the story would not make sense at all and I should be patient and all that jazz.

Ajakjdkladjakdjakfj. Okay, well, thanks for reading.

I think I will skip to the good parts, if only to start writing again after so many years at the very least. Perhaps that will inspire me...

-Stories-

SILENCE: In-Progress

I was always a friendless nerd and I chose to be. I never talked to anyone but one day these three kids decided to befriend me. It wasn’t that easy though; kids are never just nice. The school didn’t seem to like how I infiltrated the ranks and left my geeky social status behind in the dust either. Things at home were worse than ever. I still didn’t know if I’d ever meet my family. And when did my life become a soap-opera?

THE DUMB GEEK: Permanent Hiatus

Jase is perceived as a total geek with severe mental disillusions. Caroline thinks he’s a total waste of her time. But what happens when she starts warming up to the unusual geek? What happens when she finds out he’s not who she thought he was? What happens when she starts to miss the unusually arrogant geek?

"I can totally fight him! How about that time I beat up Patrick Morris?" Caroline argued. "You were five and all you did was push him into the sandbox," Melody countered. "Well I thought I was the next Mohammed Ali." Caroline put her nose in the air.

Five boys, one dorm house. They needed a sixth to make rent, she needed a place to stay. Only, they thought Jonnie was a guy. Now she has to learn to live with their gross habits, and they have to live with tampons underneath the bathroom sink. JONNIE IS BEING RE-RELEASED CHAPTER BY CHAPTER TO PROMOTE NEW JONNIE WEBSERIES! Look for it this summer!

We're like some messed up, twisted version of Romeo and Juliet. He's the eldest son and successor to the most powerful mafia. He's handsome, charming, and dangerous. I'm the product of a one night stand gone wrong. How is this going to work? Incomplete

The seemingly unrequited crush on your best friend, the perfect romantic cliche, and you know those always work out. However, when an evil older brother, mind games, and dirty little secrets are thrown into the mix, maybe this cliche isn't that perfect...

Sequal to QoaQR: Nobody said love was easy...then again no one mentioned the mind games, precocious kids, homicidal inventions, therapy, or as much stalking as is going on. I feel woefully misinformed...

Rosaline thought she knew him and what she knew, she hated. But Javier isn't the kind of guy you get to know easily nor is he the kind of guy who is what he seems. He needs her more than she or even he understands. If only she would realize...

I suddenly developed the ability of telepathy with men. But not charming men. No, I can only communication with nerds. And if that wasn't bad enough they've now deemed me their matchmaker. God, just smite me now.

He thinks she's playing at being an adult, she just wants him to grow up. She's going back, he swore he never would. It used to be them against the world, but years have passed and things aren't quite as simple anymore. Sequel to SMtL. ***Removed and now available on Amazon, i-Tunes, Barnes and Noble and Smashwords***

Julie the straight A student may know what she's doing in college, but when it comes to her love life she can't seem to get it right. Why would she move in with her ex? When she accidentally lands a nanny job, it seems things are looking up- but are they?

She’s known them both her entire life. One’s arrogant, rich, and pretends she doesn’t exist. The other’s her best friend. But when her mom remarries Chloe learns the difference between knowing a name and knowing the person behind it.

The first time I had kicked in the womb it had been when Max, a baby himself, had placed his hand against my mother's stomach. It had been the first, but certainly not the last, time I'd kicked him, and now suddenly he wasn't interested in a fight? Weird. **Removed and now available on Amazon and Smashwords!**

Complete After a rather hideous break up with her boyfriend due to her inability to 'put out', Talia bullies her brother's best friend into teaching her the complexities of a 'full' relationship. Turns out uni courses have nothing on life lessons! **Removed and now available on Amazon and Smashwords!**

It's not easy to pretend you're in love for the sake of teenagers and housewives across the country but top footballer Lucas Goodspeed and shy, romantic Isobel Saunders soon discover that convincing themselves that they're not in love might be even harder. **Removed and now available on Amazon and Smashwords!**

Attracting, repelling, and colliding; their chemistry, to say the least, was explosive. Strangely enough, it wasn't with Tess's would-be boyfriend, but his asshole of a best friend, who is intent on keeping them apart. REMOVED

Determined to put the fear of God into the racist homophobe who messed up her best friend, mild-mannered Jane Hazelton resorts to hiring a thug to do the job. Trouble is, said thug isn’t interested in money, he’s interested in her. **COMPLETED**

There was something about Noah that drew Stephan to him. He was so warm, burning with life. The exact opposite of him. They were as different as the sun and the moon. But it only took one night for Stephan to realize he wants him.

"We don't really have a healthy relationship, Jonah. We met in a Psych ward." I sighed and pulled his arm tighter around me. "I know, Becks." He paused, and I looked up at him. "You're dying, and I tried to die. It's really... kind of perfect."

Sick of girls throwing themselves at his feet, Kyle Matthews is determined to hide himself as a geek at his new school. Penny Green has sworn off beautiful guys after her bestfriend broke her heart. Will Penny risk her heart again if she finds him out?

Spin-off of Rocked. Life for Deacon is one long hard party, he drinks like his liver is invincible, and sleeps around like STDs don't exist. What did you expect from the preacher's boy? An Angel? Yeah Right. Warning: swearing, violence, sexual references.

A state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result. I do what I want, if only I knew what exactly what that was. Rated M for Swearing and Mature -ha- Themes.

So his friend was the one who got the crossdressing girl in the all boys school. Like Tristan Harland is ever the type to lose out, especially not to some girl who stalked him all the way from China. Problem is, she isn't exactly the type to lose either.

An ordinary 17 year old girl, Raina Johnson, is infatuated. Infatuated with a rather myterious bad boy, Travis Thompson, who just so happens to be a Goth. So what happens when Trent Anderson Travis's friend finds out and...FULL SUMMARY INSIDE!

*Removed* She found him washed upon the shore bloody and bruised. His long fish like tail was incredibly stunning, as was his face, but when she took him home to nurse him, he thanked her by trying to drag her under the waves and make her his mate.

I'd like to say I lead a regular life, but then I'd be lying. I owe it all to Matteo, the idiot with the pouty lips who lives to annoy me, and to my best friend Wyatt... who I happen to be in love with. M/M Slash rated for excessive swearing

Rome France had a useless BA in philosophy. Jobless, penniless and alone, it seemed things couldn't get worse. Then, an old friend called...and invited him to join a rock band. With nothing to lose, Rome accepted. And that was just the beginning. Slash

My college roommate is dating a guy that seems to get a great deal of pleasure out of making my life hell – bad enough, right? Okay, now add to the fact that my family thinks I'm dating him and he's going along with it and you've got pure chaos.

Lucky had resigned himself to the life of an observer. The little brother. The best friend. The sidekick. But then life decided to kick him in the balls, and dumped his twitching body into his own crappy soap opera. And a sucky one at that.

Everybody will tell you it's difficult to find love in High School, even more so when you're keeping secrets. But even if by some stroke of luck you do find it, sometimes holding on to is it the hardest thing of all. M/M love story.

REMOVED Katlyn, teased and made fun of all her life, meets a strange boy in a cafe. He offers her five wishes in return for herself, but as her wishes progress, they aren't what she expected. Now the boy owns her and worse yet; how will she get out of it?

It didn’t matter to my Hindu Mum that he was an Italian badass covered in tattoos; the Indian fortune-teller had predicted that I would marry him so according to Mum, marry him I would. **Lucan’s Story**

She finally did it. She finally snagged the cutest, most popular guy in school. The smart thing to do? Hang on to him with all her might. The stupidest move she could make? Fall for his best friend. UPDATED.

Slash. Bright blue skinny jeans can’t get you out of everything. Especially when your arch nemesis dumps barbeque sauce on them and then acts like a homophobe even though he really isn't. SKoW Best Slash winner round 11!

What was that rule again? Half your age plus seven? You can’t go below that. If I’m 18, half is 9. Crap, where's my calculator? Okay, 9 plus 7 is 16…and he is 15. 15.5! I mean, should I round up? Or not? What’s six months? That should be fine..ah, hell.

A Classic case is falling for your best friend's troubled twin. It's falling for the one guy you never thought you'd like. It's one big old teenage mess. Classic cases are commonly referred to as Cliches. This story is an epic mess. Read at own risk.

He was arrogant and heartless, had everything and wanted nothing. Just like his bitter father. She was just an 18-year-old girl, who had just lost everything and now had the job to work for them as a maid. The only rule? Don't fall for him.

Now a 'series' of serious, serious topics that must be addressed. Because you need to address the serious things in life, like the Recession, Swine Flu, Plagiarism and what to wear this coming Friday night. Chapter 3: Avoidastudyitis.

When Alyssa found out about the female exchange student coming to stay, she couldn't exactly say that she was thrilled. However, after just one day, she realises that there's something odd about the student...that she is actually a he.... EDITTING

Andrew expected the worst when his brother’s team found out he was gay. But instead of beatings, he gets kisses, instead of teasing, pet names. He’s their extra mom, their wife. He just has to figure out which one means it when they say ‘I love you.’ M/M

Alex is a witch in love. With her stepbrother. She is also engaged to the hottest guy on earth. Unfortunately. Then there is the dead guy. Oh, and all the Undead crawling around her hometown. But that's normal for the life of Alexiel Du Val. Alex Book I

The rather rancid breath of some homeless guy is not the best thing to wake up to on the greatest of mornings. It is, however, at its worst when you're hungover without much of a recollection of anything that happened last night.

You think I like him? You've got to be kidding. Darren Teigan is the most stubborn, pompous, pigheaded, egotistical creature that ever existed." Emma says nothing and I blanch. "He's... right behind me, isn't he..." COMPLETE.

Ess wasn't aware that a momentary encounter during her childhood had made her the object of obsession nearly twenty years later. Not just the artist’s obsession, but also the art collector’s. The artist had to kidnap her to keep her safe. EXTENDED ENDING

Of course I’m not saying all the kids behaved like this, but when Jason Brite decides to be a hero during compulsory chapel service by pretending to drink the wine but is actually spitting in it, it leaves little faith in people.// Some Slash content

Life’s hard when you’re stuck in the future fighting a war you don’t understand on a planet that’s falling apart. It’s even worse when the most wanted assassin in the world can’t keep his damn hands, or lips, off you. [ m/m slash ]

Fin. Aiden is in a tough situation: he's madly in love with his best friend. But things only get worse when he's forced to work with an obnoxious bully. But even a guy like Aiden can find love. Well, that is, if his bad luck stays out of the way first...

slash Nate may be Mr. Popular of Bethlehem, Kansas, but he’s not entirely sure that’s saying much, since no one quite knows where Bethlehem is. He wants to use Jesse Jones for his connections. Or, he thinks so. So why did the CIA get caught up in it all?

SLASH. What's a band geek to do when he has a crush on his best friend, fantasies about making out on marimbas, and a nosy sister who bribes him with snickerdoodle cookies? Band sure is wild! Like American Pie Band Camp, only better. Really.

So I ended up choosing the mysterious boy from the bookstore as my writing subject. He has no clue I’m observing him. But for the record, I am not stalking him, I swear – even if he thinks differently. I mean, jeez, what a jerk.

I see his eyes open. "Hey, Noel," he says, his voice languid. I wonder if he thinks it's creepy that I'm watching him sleep."Hey, you," I say. He lifts an arm and puts it around my waist pulling me down on top of him. And I STILL don't know his name.

So what? Who cares if I steal pamphlets, mailboxes, and dentures. Nobody. But what they do care about is the fact that I ended up with Track Cambridge’s jockstrap. I mean, some girl offered me fifty bucks if she could smell it.

Spin-off to TSWAQ. Nicky Blake has been head over heels for Grant Darlington since she moved to River Valley. Q's meddling gets her the man of her dreams, but she's about to learn that 'Happily Ever After' isn't quite so simple. //DISCONTINUED//

“I just don’t want anyone to hurt me anymore.”That wish shocked me, one I had never heard before in all my years as a genie.“That’s all I want. Just give me that,and I could be content.You can keep the other two wishes, Zaayon.” God. His smile was so sad.

On her last night of summer, Samantha and her friends go to the club. There, Samantha meets a boy who she spends the night dancing, without even knowing who he is, only to later discover he's her overprotective brother's best friend and has a girlfriend.

A vampire who hates blood and a vegetarian werewolf. Our last hopes for survival. We're doomed. Unless Declan can find the seductive vampire within himself and seduce Death's Mistress. Nah, we're doomed. Perhaps the most random thing you'll ever read.

ON HIATUS WILL BE COMPLETED. David Weston: the arrogant playboy. Samantha Spade: the quiet, sarcastic one. They get along like fire and ice. But the person Sam detests most is the best man to show her what it feels like to love and be loved

REMOVED She's your "ordinary" teenager and he's the school's new psychotic jackass. They both live to kill and kill to live...kind of. But you know it's love when it's midnight and they're together, mixing a cyanide solution by candlelight.

My name is Molly. One night, someone shot me in the head. It should have been the end of my life. Instead, it was just the beginning and it all started when a mysterious man came to me, claiming that he was my guardian and he took an oath to protect me.

Slash. Jonas is the biggest homophobe in school. But what happens when he finds out the ever popular, bisexual Cody has a crush on him? Well, probably the same thing that happens to Mitchell when he finds a lost journal and reads it. COMPLETE!

Luke smiled wistfully. "Remember when you were little and you were afraid of all of the things that go bump in the night?" I stared at him for a moment. "I guess," I mumbled. "Well," I could swear two teeth caught the light. "Now you're one of them."

She’s been dumped by her boring boyfriend, well, ex boyfriend for another girl. And now, she was wants revenge. How? Well, she’s going to seduce the other girl. There’s only one snag, his hot older brother.

I may be somewhat strange, but he's got arrogance down to an artform. I may have thrown a rock at his car, but it's no excuse to concoct a plan to kill me. Honestly, who does he think he is? The nerve of some people. Course language, you've been warned.

I liked you because you were stupid and that made me look smarter. You went for me so you could cheat during exams. We had sex and got caught, your hands on my boobs. We have two kids, one of which, apparently, developed HIV. At the age of two. one-shot.

i am simultaneously annoyed by and jealous of people with this mindset. i'm not sure if anyone will understand why this is in the political section. i'd be interested to hear how people interpret this one.

Ian is an outcast in the high school hierarchy. Consistently beaten and humiliated, he is on the verge of a mental breakdown, when a lifechanging event brings him a saving grace in the form of one of his greatest tormenters. [Slash, MM]

Oneshot. Belle's surefire ways to get a guy: 1, Write his name on your hand. 2, Lure him in with jelly beans. If it works for kids, it works for men. And 3, recite your many witty food analogies. He won't be able to resist.

“Look outside your window; you’d find me there. I could be stuffing my mouth with chocolate. I could be dreaming of us living blissfully; in love. I could be getting drenched by Mother Nature’s piss. I could be waiting. I am waiting. For you. I love you."

Alan DeChamps never led a normal life: born with magic in our mundane world, swept up in the politics of pseudomagical creatures with a single misstep. Now back in the mundane world and readjusted, his life in the Other threatens to draw him back.

COMPLETE! His name was Patrick Fitzpatrick, but he pulverized anyone who dared to call him that. He was an enigma, a mystery. Nobody knew anything completely true about him other than that he hated his name. But hey, I’d always liked solving mysteries.

June was fine with her rather dull life. The last thing she needed was a cursed bracelet, a demon chasing her, and a surly vampire who makes her toes curl. Although she's changing her mind on that last one...

Chris and Ryan have been groomed to be leaders in the conservative Traditional Values Protection Ministry, and they’ve wanted nothing more. That changes when they discover what they mean to each other. Explores themes of homosexuality and religion. Slash.

Carrie, a self-proclaimed book nerd, thought she would spend a quiet summer working at Angelo's, a crazy Italian pizza place. She didn't think a weird guy would come into the restaurant and hit on her - or that he would actually be a spy from Pizza Hut.

Entering her final year of high school, Kaitlyn Anderson has everything going for her, but it isn't easy being perfect. As her life starts to fall apart, she turns to the least likely person, Ash Stevens. COMPLETE. Has been plagiarized see profile.

Spin-off of Redux. All Devon wanted was to be left alone. She tried reasoning. She tried pleading. Eventually she even turned to blackmail. The problem was Quentin Maxwell had just never learned the meaning of the word 'no.' //REMOVED//

“You have…” I stared at what I was wearing once more, feeling oddly calm. I shook my body a little, and there it was. That stupid, annoying jing-a-ling. I looked up at Raleigh incredulously. “You have little bells on your g-string?” SKoW challenge.

I swear I'm not a peeping tom, I just happened to lock myself out of my apartment! I was only trying to get my neighbor's attention, how was I suppose to know he would only be wearing a towel? CHAPTER 7

Jayden and Sean are partners in a school penpal project. Sean is your typical problems character, bullied by people at school and virtually ignored at home. Jayden is the prep who just wants to help Sean get over his problems. On the surface, at least.

[SLASH BoyxBoy shonen ai] Ethan loves his nice, neat, tidy, lonely, monotonous little life until dizzying flamboyant Zen gatecrashes right into it, with the absolute conviction that they are soulmates...and decides to show Ethan the 'joy of shared love.'

“I smell like puke.” I grumbled, glaring at Rachel, who was now pulling my shirt and tugging me forward to an empty classroom. “Oh, puke is good.” She replied with an air of enthusiasm. “Girls love guys who smell like a kid just vomited on them.” fluff!

When being blonde, good looking and a jock isn't enough, you bring out the big guns. Swear words, wildly made assumptions and petty revenge seemed like a good alternative. And who knows, maybe you'll get your girlfriend back once all of this is over.

Picture this. You're seventeen, female and seriously feminist. Then, suddenly, the cheerleaders want you to join them. And the most perverted (and hottest) Goth in school is chasing you. Did I mention I was dragged half way across the world for this?

Living with my mom and three older sisters, I sometimes feel like I’m drowning in estrogen. Considering I’m the only guy in the house, Grandpa Joe was surprised I turned out straight. That makes two of us...

SLASH Between remaining the school’s premier expert on gossip and trying to blackmail a jock into being his boyfriend, Alex has no time for ghost stories. Unfortunately somebody else doesn’t feel the same way.

[COMPLETE] He was my ex boyfriend's current girlfriend's ex boyfriend. Apparently that's the biggest reason why we should never be associated with one another. But too bad neither of us cared about the morals of society.

*DISCONTINUED* Jarek Cadence my obsession, my addiction. But I made a mistake, the mistake of even acknowledging him. No matter how far away I try to get away, he just gets closer. And there is no hiding.

He hit me. Well, not so much hit me as fell into me and knocked me down. My ego was bruised. . . along with my head. Yes, it hurt. He kissed me! Well not so much kissed me as ran into my neck with his mouth. Oh great, now I'm stupid. COMPLETE!

STORY REMOVED. When they met in Edge 8 while trying to, uh, kill each other, they weren’t ever expecting to meet again—especially not as roommates under an experimentation thought up by the peaceloving border system. . .

COMPLETE WITH EPILOGUE Amazing what occurs when witty bad boy Donovan makes a bet to seduce sarcastic good girl Piper. Follow the story of their intertwined existence through high school as lessons are learned and relationships forged. EDIT IN PROCESS

Sophia, 17, mad as a demented bucket, writes a bunch of thoughts and sends them to a random address, because ... well, just because. What happens, though, when someone writes back? And who's the hot new guy at school?

She's a hopeless romantic that is terrified of falling in love. Quirky? You have no idea... He's misunderstood purposely so and has a past. A dark one. So...what happens when their small town matchmaker decides they're destined for each other?

“Oh how the Mighty have Fallen.” That’s probably what people from my high school would say about me…if they remembered who I was. But invisibility is good. I prefer it. And why I thought giving him advice would go by unnoticed, I’ll never know.

I'll chase and stalk him until he is mine. I'm pretty determined. Unfortunately his best friend thinks my existence is pointless and I'm unworthy. And, well, he's pretty damn determined too. / Left up just for comparison with my writing then and now.

He’s perceived as a spoiled rich kid that always gets what he wants. She’s seen as a cynical loner with an anger issue. But neither are truly what they seem what happens when they begin to notice this? What happens when he “buys” her for a week?

[Rated for language, Short story] She's a typical bleeding heart, so when a suicidally depressed, foulmouthed, unpleasant mancreature shows up at her doorstep for shelter, it isn't like she has much choice but to take him in. Written entirely in dialogue

Mac is forced to tutor Heath who is one of the hottest guys at school She is possible the ONLY girl that doesnt like Heath and to him, thats NOT a good thing. So Heath decides to try and use all his charm.

Anna Mitchell has always been obsessed. She has loved goths since the time she first met one. But her obsession has taken a new twist, in the form of a certain blue-haired goth boy. Just how far will she go to get his attention?

Zack is arrogant, mysterious, and he loves to irritate her. With him, there are always things left unsaid and under the surface. Yet when he leaves unexpectedly, Zack leaves a hole in her heart that she didn't know was supposed to be there. [Complete]

Raleigh Chase thinks guys are dogs. Her older brother's best friend Ryan Henderson claims that he can make any girl, including Raleigh, fall for him. Their bet's on for four months. Can they prove each other wrong? //REMOVED//

After a drunken night, Lira wakes up next to Jude, a childhood nemesis. It gets worse when they find that they’re married. But when an opportunity too good to pass up presents itself, what will happen when they stay married?

COMPLETE On graduation night, Carson Morgan gets drunk . . . and wakes up the next morning strapped to Sahara O'Brian's back on a motorcycle in the middle of the desert. Not that she's terribly pleased about that...

I was pretty much a loner, until Jay decided to befriend me. It was all downhill or uphill? from there, i.e, finding out who my father is, my mother apologizing for ruining my life, forming a crush... And when did my life become a soap-opera?