They will infiltrate their way into your mind, heart, and soul by any means necessary.

They will strip you of all personal identity, instead replacing you with a Whole-foods, kale, quinoa, faux-meat, gluten-free, whole-grain zombie.

It’s. . .

Multigrain Cheerios.

See it? Their message of evil and attempts at world domination right there between the happy, shiny people? Here it is again, in case you missed it:

Oh God, I’m so scared. I just ate two bowls of these O-shaped demons. How much of me is whole grain now? Is it my arm? It’s my arm, isn’t it? No! This is wrong! I don’t want to be replaced with a grain, no matter how whole it is!