Discussion (35) ¬

Have to agree with you there. I was actually cool with Andi bringing it up in the prior strip, but she’s pushing a bit hard here. Hoping Amanda calls her on it and they both wear their hair down together.

Oh come on every parent does this from what I can tell. “Emotional manipulation” is a dirty word and encompasses way more than reverse psychology. Daring your kids to do something that’s good or useful or whatever is okay.

I think the only thing that really bugs me about it is Andi isn’t putting her money where her mouth is—even after her own daughter points out the double-standard. I’m a bit sensitive to that myself (we could exchange some interesting stories of narcissistic parents).

Except this isn’t get her to eat her vegetables or get her to do her homework. Amanda isn’t refusing to do something she should do or needs to do. It’s perfectly and completely reasonable for her to not want to change her hair. Andi’s manipulation is made all the worse by refusing to live by the same advice herself, outright rejecting it when Amanda points out the double standard. Andi should either accept Amanda’s choice OR convince her by leading by example, or at the very least agreeing to make the change together. Instead she is selfish and manipulative, ignoring the feelings of the other person to have everything her way.

I don’t know if Dave’s intent is to make Andi even more unlike able than she already is but if so he’s succeeding as far as I’m concerned. But hey a good villain can really help a story.

I thought she was trying to get her to come around to the idea of going to the art show and enjoying the fact that the other kids are there. I kinda just assumed the first part was about hair and them she sorta went back to the other topic without any real transition.

If she turns it into the art show, I’ll be glad to recant, but for now I still think it’s clearly about her hair.

I’m staying out of the argument on whether it’s emotional blackmail or reverse psychology. There’s people that can handle the conversation better than I can. And I don’t want to rant again. Especially this matter.

If I’m going to give Andi the leeway of the doubt here — and I’m not convinced that I want to, but just if — then I would say she’s trying to make Amanda consider internal changes she could be making, by way of the symbolism of an external change.

Kind of like how if you’re getting out of a bad relationship or leaving home with bad memories, you might buy yourself a wardrobe that is very unlike what you always wore, kind of to prove that you were in a new chapter of your life. And if you doubted, you had only to look at what you were wearing. Even the new feel of the clothing, or the way people look at you differently, could mean a great deal.

So maybe Andi is doing that, giving Amanda a little nudge in the direction of an external change in the hopes that it will lead Amanda to see things a bit differently and to start her own personal journey a little sooner than if she weren’t nudged in that direction.

I could see this working as a potential plan. I’m just not sure if that’s what Andi is thinking.

I live in an area that apparently doesn’t know how to make crust. So I’m in favor of hot pizza currently. Hot pizza and not breaking my teeth on cleverly disguised rocks.
Even if Andi is pressing some buttons she might be ill-advised to press, I think Amanda here deserves some credit for NOT cursing. She does that pretty consistently. Good job, Amanda!

(And I disagree on this being Evil Wrong Emotional Manipulation. Kids don’t have the info that adults do, and make decisions based on emotions – and it’s absolutely adults’ job to guide their emotions on certain matters. “Prove you can do it” is not an inherently bad method, as long as it’s applied responsibly)

(I was worried last comic that Andi would make Amanda change her hair, but I meant more forcible, body autonomy violating methods of ‘making’, that would leave Amanda upset and resentful and dysphoric – you can totally be dysphoric about a forcibly changed hairstyle, btw. Daring is not one of those, and Amanda isn’t hacking her hair off yet, she can reverse the decision at any moment)

(Seriously, minor emotional manipulation is a REQUIRED skill of dealing with kids. Like I said already, guiding their emotions – like making learning fun – is half the job description)

(Specifically, about the good/evil making Amanda do things, Andi explicitly left the decision to her on whether or not she -can- do it. If there was some reason it was especially important to Amanda to keep her hair that way that Andi didn’t know about, Amanda could have just gone with ‘yep, can’t’)

I am impressed with the magnitude Andi seems somewhat chill and buillet-proof to Amanda’s flaring temper.

Have to agree with her on the pizza, too. Not a cold pizza person (sorry, Dave), but my partner-in-crime loves it…and room temperature pizza left out overnight (dude’s going to get food poisoning one of these days).

My parents used to yell at me when I was younger for taking pizza out of the fridge(it was cooked then the leftovers refrigerated) and eating it without heating it up. I think it tastes delish that way.

-Andi gets Amanda – because they really are quite alike (in many ways).

-The change in style is just for one day. Amanda can put her hair up in pigtails any day she wants and leave it down on other days. I think this is a very good choice… for now. Later, whatever she decides then.

-I’m with Jackie Gleason: He said once that his favorite breakfast is ‘pizza a la mode’ and explained that that meant a slice of cold pizza on top of a slice of hot pizza.