Sunday, March 30, 2014

I just finished the book, “How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big” (2013) by
Scott Adams (the famous creator of the popular comic strip Dilbert). Yes, I’m a
fanatic for self-help books especially those written by people who are measurably
successful outside the domain of simply being a “Self Help” author/writer.

I love Adams’ comedic yet accessible writing style. The book
is filled with insights on how to be successful in your everyday life—despite
one failure after another. I was shocked to learn that when he first started
making his comic strip, the feedback he got via email (in the early 90’s) was
excessively critical. Despite the criticism he received (for what he calls his “poor
drawing skills” or perhaps the content of his comic) he had one person push him
on and tell him that he was good enough the
way he was doing it and that he didn’t
need to make any changes, that he should maintain his style. I really liked
hearing that because often times we cave in to criticism and constantly change in response to the pressure of others.

I think one of my
favorite points in the book is the Big
Five Factors of Happiness which he suggests are: a flexible schedule, imagination, diet, exercise and sleep. Out of
these I think imagination is the component I never paid very much attention to.
Yet, as I reflect on it, I can honestly say that the seasons in my life where
I’ve daydreamed and entertained intensely robust, fantastical imaginations, the
better my life was (at least temporarily). Adam’s suggests “Simply imagining a better future hacks your brain chemistry and
provides you with the sensation of happiness today.” and “Being happy raises your energy level and
makes it easier to pursue the steps toward real world happiness.”

It’s as if certain positive images and thoughts can
rearrange your thinking and free you up to seeing possibilities you never
before thought were possible. This could translate to a more successful life.

It can’t hurt to entertain positive thoughts because such
thoughts can bring us to new highs. When we are happier, we may take more risks
and try more things. Such decisions could result in something bigger or better happening to our lives as opposed to stagnation.

You can choose to think poorly of yourself, your abilities
and your potential or you can choose to think highly of yourself (this is
probably a false dichotomy here). Thinking about yourself with a higher regard
will be better for your overall success and achievement in this life.We all know that this life is very short; we
are constrained by time and the state of our health. Thinking negatively takes
you into a state of being a pessimist. Pessimists are known to miss
opportunities that optimists are able to see more readily.If our life on this earth is already short,
why would we waste time going down a path that leads to fewer opportunities
when we could go down the path that presents us with more?

I am probably the ultimate pessimist. I’m trying to reframe
my thinking with glasses that have flower petals attached to them, or however
the cliché goes. I can envision only sunshine.

This book also mentions the importance of richly delusional
affirmations. For instance, in Adams' words an affirmation would be something
akin to, “I, Scott Adams will become rich.” I’ve decided to put this
affirmation thing into practice in my own life. It can’t hurt, I suppose.
Declaring that you will become rich on a daily basis may sound grandiose but it
is certainly better than the alternative, “I, Renee, will become poor.” And, if
a person is thinking negatively on a daily basis, isn’t it almost like they’re doing
just that?

But, just to keep a skeptical approach to this whole “positive
affirmation” business, allow me to finish with another quote from his book, “
The reality is that if affirmations somehow steered the universe like magic,
science probably would have discovered that force by now.”

"Being able to laugh in life reduces anxiety that, if
anything, comedy may actually be good for your health."

Quirkology

Interesting HUMOR factoids I've collected over the years

“The top jokes all have one thing in common—they create a
sense of superiority in the reader.”

“The observation that people laugh when they feel superior
to others dates back to around 400 BC and was described by Plato in the
Republic.”

"Because of the animalistic and primitive associations, Plato
was not a fan of laughter. He thought that it was wrong to laugh at the
misfortune of others and that hearty laughter involved a loss of control that
made people appear to be less than fully human.Plato was so concerned about this that he advised citizens to limit their
attendance to comedies."

"The more superior a joke makes a person feel, the harder
they laugh."

"Hitler was sufficiently concerned about the potential use of
humor that he set up special “Third Reich Joke Courts” that punished people for
many acts of inappropriate humor including naming their dogs, “Adolf”

"A year long study of 1,200 examples of laughing in everyday
conversation revealed that 71 percent of women laugh when a man tells a joke
and just 39 percent of men laugh when a woman tells a joke."

"People with high social status tend to tell more jokes than
those lower down the pecking order."

"Females are more likely to rely on self-disparaging humor"

"The animalistic release of a victorious roar at other
people’s misfortune is still alive and well in the twenty-first century."

"According to Freud, jokes act as a kind of psychological
release valve that help prevent the repressed pressure from becoming too
great—in other words, a way of dealing with whatever it is that causes us to
feel anxious."

"The most basic form of a joke is a simple pun—we find these
jokes funny because of incongruity.In
many jokes there is incongruity between the set-up and the punch-line."

"People who have damage to their right hemisphere of their
brain are less able to understand jokes."

"When people see or hear another person laugh they are far
more likely to copy the behavior, start laughing themselves and therefore
actually find the situation funny.This
is the reason why so many comedy programs carry laughter tracks."

"Professional comedians tend to come from relatively low
income families and to have been unhappy children and thus their performances
may represent an attempt to compensate for their difficult early experiences by
gaining the afternoon of an audience. There is considerable anecdotal evidence
to support this idea."

"Woody Allen once said that the need to be accepted was one
of his primary motivations for being funny."

"W.C. Fields once explained why he liked making people laugh:
“At least for a short moment, they like me.”

"Some performers admitted that they were intensely curious
about people and behavior how they would endlessly watch others go about their
lives until they found some idiosyncrasy that could form the basis of a new
joke or routine."

Seymour and Ronda Fisher noted that there were parallels
between social scientists and comedians they argued that both groups are
constantly on the prowl for novel perspectives on human behavior.

“Frame your mind on mirth and merriment which bars a
thousand harms and lenghthens life.” William Shakespeare

My Turn: I try to use humor while recounting a past event.

"One time when I was 11 I was embarrassed to wear
my glasses for the big family slide show. I already looked hideous at that age
and wearing glasses only magnified the horror of my appearance. All of my
Aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, brothers, great uncles, great ---aunts--you
name it-- were present. Half-way through the slide show my grandfather happened
to notice that I wasn’t wearing my glasses. Suddenly, he stops the slide show.
Then he loudly announces to the large consanguineous group “The slide show is
being stopped until Renee puts on her glasses.” He said this with the austerity
and despotism that would have given Hitler an erection.

Every single Aunt, Uncle, cousin, brother, etc turned
around and stared at me in silence. Then my Dad piped up, “You better listen to
Papa and put your glasses on, he means it!”.
I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life. For the slide show to
continue I had to put on my glasses—but it was worse now because everyone in
the room was staring at me. There was a growing impatience in the familial
crowd—either because they wanted to see how terrible I looked in my glasses or
because they were anxiously waiting to see more slides of the Grand Canyon and
the evidence supporting Noah’s Global flood.

At first I
refused, but then I realize that I didn’t have any options so I put on my
glasses. My cousin, thin, blonde, and
well developed for an 11 year old, starts laughing at my face. I feel terrible.
Meanwhile, I’m sobbing like an abused duck and the slide show continues with my
Grandfather describing the layers of the Grand Canyon, Noah’s flood and how
this all relates to his personal relationship with Jesus"