Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2002 23:16:55 +0000
From: Stephanie M
Subject: Fic: Black Eyes, Blue Tears 8/?
Title: Black Eyes, Blue Tears 8/?
Author: Stephanie M
Summary: AJ discovers the truth behind Lance and JC's intense relationship.
Feedback: This is not my normal type of story; I would love to hear what
everyone thinks.
Disclaimer: This is entirely fiction i.e. not true. I don't know Nsync or
the Backstreet Boys.
Warnings: JC bashing-sorry if that upsets anyone. Discussion of abuse
Part 8
Nick was busy on the Internet finding as much information on rape and
domestic abuse as possible. He wanted to do something to help Lance, he
couldn't help but feel he should have known something, seen that Lance was
in trouble. He only hoped that AJ would be careful with Lance, he knew the
pair had some sort of feelings for each other but didn't think Lance could
handle a relationship.
"I can't believe it, a part of me thinks this is some sick nightmare." Brian
commented to Nick as he finished pacing around the room.
"What you think or feel doesn't matter. We need to help Lance and AJ. Did
you see the way they were looking at each other?" Nick turned to look at
Brian.
Looking up at Howie for his opinion Brian said, "Yeah, but Lance could just
be latching on to the first person that helped him. AJ's probably only
feeling this way because of how protective he's feeling towards Lance."
"AJ has had a crush on Lance for about a year now. But AJ won't push Lance;
he knows that would be wrong. They can wait and figure out their
relationship after they get rid of JC." Howie said looking up from the book
he was reading.
"What you reading?" Brian asked, feeling he was going to go insane waiting
for something to happen.
"It's a book I leant from Chris, he bought in this morning after we found
out what that shit did to Lance." Howie answered, holding up the book so
that they could read the title, The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for
Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Wendy Maltz.
"Erm...why did he get a book about recovering from sexual abuse?" Nick asked
as he looked up.
"It's for Lance, he figured that it would be a good idea if we all read it."
Howie returned to the book, wanting to find out as much as possible to help.
"Anyone know where Kevin is?" Brian asked, not noticing the sudden look of
worry on Nick's face.
"He's seeing a friend." Nick said, at the same time praying Kevin wouldn't
spend much longer with Justin.
"Maybe one of us should phone AJ?" Brian said, thinking about their earlier
press conference.
"I'll phone him later." Howie said smirking at Brian's impatience.
******
"Would it be alright if I talked to you about what Josh did?" Lance asked
his voice low.
"Whatever you want, Lance." AJ said quickly not wanting Lance to think he
would force Lance into anything.
"I've never really talked about it, ya know?" Lance he settled into AJ's
arms and gave a bittersweet smile, "I'd always kind of admired JC; he was
the first one who tried to help me. Then after I messed up one of the dance
routines; he told everyone to leave and he'd make sure I got it."
Lance took a drink of water and continued, "We practised for about eight
hours straight and every time I did something wrong he pinched me, it worked
and I got the dance. Everyone sort of decided that whenever I couldn't do a
dance or a move, Josh would teach me. He taught me alright-he hit me to make
sure I didn't mess up. It was on the fourth lesson that he started getting
inventive; punching, scratching or cutting me but he was careful to make
sure not to leave marks where someone could see."
"When he got angry he didn't care, he would hit me anywhere. If anyone asked
I always told them I fell down the stairs, or banged into something. He
normally only hits me like that when he rapes me; he gets off on it. But
he's right it's my fault, if I'd been smarter or quicker they wouldn't have
given me to him to teach. And if I didn't tease him he wouldn't rape me."
Lance stopped when he saw AJ's face, he was angry-that meant he was going to
get hit.
"I'm sorry." Lance said obediently unfastening his shirt and turning to face
AJ.
AJ made his voice as low and soothing as possible, "Lance, I'll never let
anyone hurt you again. I'm not going to hurt you, you can put your shirt
back on."
"Sorry." Lance gave an apologetic smile, his eyes cast downward.
"Don't apologise, Lance. It's not your fault what JC did to you, believe me.
Can I give you a hug?" AJ replied quickly.
"Y--Yes." Lance couldn't believe AJ actually wanted to touch him and that he
was asking his permission.
"I'm not going to hurt you." AJ repeated as he slowly moved to gently hug
the younger man.
"That was nice. If I press charges, will you stay with me? I'm not asking
you to spend every second of the day with me just while I'm in court." Lance
said as they broke apart, a nervous grin on his face.
"I'll always be there if you need me. Would it be okay it I call Howie to
tell them you've agreed to press charges?" AJ asked not wanting to do
something without Lance's permission.
Lance said softly, "I guess, they won't be mad at me will they?"
"No one is mad at you. Lance, we're all here for you." AJ said as he dialled
the phone number.
"Yeah?" Howie asked a little distracted by the book he was reading.
AJ smiled, "It's me, just thought I'd call to check in."
Hoping Lance knew that no one blamed him for what happened Howie said, "How
is he?"
"Okay, Lance has agreed to pres charges as long as the records are sealed."
AJ said listening as Howie started talking to someone.
"Be careful, tell Lance that I'll help in any way," Nick said having
wrestled the phone from Howie.
"Wait a sec, Nicky." AJ said turning to look at Lance he asked, "Would you
like to talk to Nick?"
Lance nodded and reached for the phone, his hand trembling slightly. Just
what did Nick want? Did he want to tell him that it was his fault, like
everyone secretly thought?
"Hi Nick. How are you?" Lance said smiling when Nick laughed.
"I'm okay. Lance, I'm here at any time. If you need anything just call and
I'll be there." Nick said honestly, he wanted to help Lance escape his life
of pain.
"Thanks, could you do me a favour and tell Justin that it's not his fault."
Lance said knowing he had probably upset his friend. A small part of him
blamed Justin and the others for not helping him or seeing the signs of
abuse but the rest of him just wanted his friends back.
"Sure. Howie wants to speak to you so I'll give him the phone," Nick said
regretfully.
"Howie, I'm sorry for getting you guys involved in all this." Lance said
sincerely hoping that JC didn't find out Backstreet were helping him.
"You didn't get us involved in this we want to help. Chris said to tell you
that he loves you and that he's sorry. He wanted to talk to you earlier but
he's talking to Johnny."
"That was nice of him. Sorry to do this but I've got to go, I'll put Alex
back on," Lance said as he felt the call of nature.
"D, will we have to come back so Lance can give evidence?" AJ asked worried
at the prospect of JC finding Lance.
Howie hated what he had to say to his friend, "I think so but don't worry we
can arrange somewhere for you to stay discretely. I'll make some
arrangements and call you back."
"What happened at the news conference? I haven't seen it yet." AJ asked
wanting to know just what their story was.
Howie grinned, "We told them you had to go to New York and look after a
family member who's ill. Kevin said that you and Lance are friends and that
Lance was in your room because you stayed up all night playing computer
games."
AJ said tiredly, "Just get us a room in a little motel someplace that won't
bother us. We'll be ready to go when you call."
"Later Bone." Howie said as he put the phone down.
Howie quickly sent the message 13*13*14*8* to Chris. He knew his friend
would remember the code they had created for an emergency and what had
happened that day definitely classified as an emergency.