July 20, 2006

Now everyonewho reads here will know that I have an extremely bad taste in anime (c.f. 10 anime I am ashamed to have watched), for instance, I have watched all the episodes and specials of Love Hina O_o). Usually, though, when I start to watch a series, I tend to stick to the end. I mean, I watched all 26 episodes of NGE for crying out loud. I also braved all 52 episodes of Full Moon wo Sagashite and all of the awful third series of Cardcaptor Sakura. However, midway through watching some anime, I sometimes get so bored with it moving through plot points that I give up, or I felt that they were just so mediocre that I forgot that I was even watching them and forgot to watch the end.

For extremely bad series such as UG: Ultimate Girls, this perhaps is an acceptable, nay common practise. However, for me this also tends to overflow into the domain of what is considered “classic anime” and it raises a few eyebrows.

Have your flamewars at the ready for a list that would cause instant ostracisation from any respectable anime society in the land…O_o

Cowboy Bebop – Episodes watched – 22

| Because Faye is hot
This is probably the big one. For some reason, I never really got into Cowboy Bebop and I found myself watching them just out of curiosity about why it was branded as such a classic anime. Somewhere around episode 22 I forgot I was watching it and I never touched the series again >_<. Although the characters were engaging, I found the story rather slow, disjointed and episodic rather than the long running arcs that I am used to following, and so I often got lost as to what was actually happening in the series. I think there are some people shouting “BLASPHEMY!!!” over there, so I must run…….

Air – Episodes watched – 6

I went through this already here. Although I braved the entire series of Kanon which I thought was rather mediocre itself, I was only able to stomach 6 episodes, although I have been reliably informed that things actually happen in the latter half of the series.

I believe Air was suffering from what I will call “Sunrise syndrome” that so afflicted Mai HiME and Mai Otome. If you spend the first half of the series introducing the characters andfluffing around and put all the exciting stuff in the last half, then you will lose some of your audience before the exciting stuff starts. Also, it gets harder to pack all the necessary story into the latter half and things start getting left out. However, in contrast, the fluff episodes in Air were dull, which is what put me off the series.

Sailor Moon S – Episodes watched – 1

Actually, this should probably go on my “Anime I can’t watch without tearing my eyes out” list. I got introduced to Sailor Moon S as a classic (and possibly the first) yuri anime. However, after one episode, it was clear that I would not be able to stand the stereotypical “monster comes, fight it, end of episode” style that so plagues mahou shoujo anime of that era. Also, I was not keen on the art style and so gave up, which is a shame, because I wanted to see Uranus and Neptune get it on. Oh well.

Mahou Tsukai ni Taisetsu no koto – Episodes Watched – 4

This used to be a “dinner anime” for me and the other half (to watch while eating dinner, of course), but was quickly replaced by Speed Grapher. I think we both agree that it’s trying too hard and has ended up cute but dull.

Shoujo Kakumei Utena – Episodes watched – 1/2

This one is kinda similar to Sailor Moon S – Since it was a classic yuri anime, I was trying to watch it and…actually, thinking about it, I got interrupted in the first episode and then never picked it up after that, so it might still be good. However, it is very long, so I’ll have to wait till there is a lull in “good” current season anime to watch it ^_^

FLCL – Episodes watched – 3

Even though FLCL is only 6 episodes long, I have failed to finish it -_-. Although some would also consider this blasphemy, I have to make it clear first that I despise Gainax. Although they make acclaimed animes, they almost always spoil them by “Going Gainax”, i.e. ending with some artsy bullshit that’s so confusing that you wonder whether you’re satisfied or not. Well, I’ll tell you the answer: You aren’t. Nothing got resolved! Ever! The only really notable exception to this rule is probably Mahoromatic which sort of had a proper ending with Gainaxy edges.

FLCL is pretty much the embodiment of Gainax endings in an OAV, and I just got so unbelievably confused that I couldn’t really be bothered to watch the end. End of Story.

Samurai Champloo – Episodes watched – 5

Actually, since I left Samurai Champloo, I have wanted to go back and finish it, but there’s always been better fluffy anime to watch at the same time, so I’ve never really bothered. The best way of describing the series is “Cowboy Bebop, with katana”, so I guess I’m afraid that it’ll turn out the same way. Might well get back round to watching though…

Ghost in the Shell – Stand Alone Complex – Episodes Watched – 1

To the chagrin of Adam, a friend of my girlfriend, who is heavily into Ghost in the Shell, I’m not really that keen on the series. I can’t really place exactly why I can’t get interested in it. Maybe I just need encouragement from commenters swearing that the series is awesome. Come on people!

Any mecha series ever – Episodes watched – 0

Cause mecha sucks.

PS. Actually, that’s a lie. I did watch all of Kannazuki no Miko and NGE.

June 28, 2006

Finally catching up to my blog reading after a weeks break, I was rather amused by Hung’s post on 10 skeletons in his closet, the least of which was his massive backlog of anime. The thing that amused me most about it was that I was guilty of all of them except the “Not watching Mai HiME/Otome” ones…In fact, I’d go so far as to say most people were ^_^.

Anyway, most people who have watdched my blog any more than a few weeks will probably have noticed that I have a penchance for rather bad anime. However, I trawled through my archives to find ten anime that I am honoured ashamed to have thoroughly enjoyed. Warning though, reading this list may leave people with the resounding urge to slap me silly.

10. Uta~Kata

Actually, this one probably isn’t very controversial. What really amuses me about this, otherwise rather droll anime is the hundreds of people on teh intarweb trying to read meaning into the ending ^_^. Obviously the whole point of the anime is getting Ichika to cosplay in cute costumes and the tenuous subtext between Ichika and Manatsu. Is having sex with part of yourself just masturbation? You decide.

9. Maburaho

I wasn’t actually ashamed of liking this until Hung posted that the worst anime J.C.Staff have produced were Ikkitousen and Maburaho. Honestly, I rather enjoyed this series, mainly because at least they didn’t just go: “Oh, childhood friend, obviously she wins” or “Oh childhood friend, looks like you lose”. Wai for threesome ending ^_^. Also, Rin and Kuriko should then forget about Kazuki and go and explore their yuri desires. Just a thought.

8. Tsukiyomi Moon Phase

Well, the reasons for being ashamed of this show are many – the least of which being the spawning of “Nekomimi-mode” memes everywhere. I shall sum up why this anime rocks in an equation – Tsundere+loli+vampire+nekomimi = WIN. That is all.

7. I My Me! Strawberry Eggs!

Only in anime could a storyline about a teacher who becomes a transvestite to work at a girls school actually work. I mean, if you think about it in real life, when they discover at the end what he’s been doing, no one would have felt sorry for him. They would have hunted him down like a dog, beat him with sticks, put him on the “dangerous paedophile” list and emasculated him with a pair of bricks. Well, maybe not the last part (ouch).

6. Hanaukyo Maid Tai / Hanaukyo Maid Tai La Verite

Two words “Triplet maids”.

Would that be Trincest?

Also, over the top yuri lust between the security chief Konoe and her kouhai Sanae. The virtual reality scene in La verite – Hilarious. And she didn’t even need to say “Oneeeee-sammaaaaa!!”

5. Guardian Hearts

Now we’re definitely getting into fluff territory here ^_^. I have absolutely no idea why I like Guardian Hearts, except that the OP is good and it takes the piss out of magical girl shows. Oh,and Kotono is the greatest miko ever. Seriously.

4. Green Green

I can’t remember who in my anime society recommended this, but I have to remember to thank them. Actually, fanservice aside, Green green actually has an excellent plot. Just a plot that involves a lot of nudity. And female naked bodies rubbing against each other. And a baseball bat. Also, to get a real feel of the fanservice, you also have to watch the Character DVDs, which avoid “hentai” by a thousandth of a hairs breadth. Best character in it? Togemura san. A girl and her cactus – inseperable.

3. Onegai Twins

Actually, I was going to include Onegai teacher in here too, but I was told that actually, it’s ok to like Onegai Teacher. I love Onegai Twins just because of the hilarious plotline – Two girls are in love with you – you can only bang one of them, and its a 50/50 chance that it’s incest! Go go Incest-chan! Seriously though, the Japanese take incest far too lightly. There’s an awful lot of cousins falling in love in anime…that must be taking its toll on the anime gene pool. Pretty soon anime is going to be turning up with girls with 6 fingers or something. Though that would be pretty useful from a yuri point of view ^_^.

2. Popotan

Time travelling Christmas shop? Check. Busty Older sister? Check. Insecure middle sister in dubious relationship with best friend? Check. Precocious younger sister who has probably had more sex than the rest of the family combined? Check. Stoic, flat-chested maid? Check. What do you get? POPOTAN! Despite the fanservice (I seem to be saying that a lot) Popotan has really heartwarming storylines and I even cried a few times. I would even go so far as to say that it is one of my all-time favourites. Yes, I know its from a Hentai game. Yes, I know Mii is 10. Yes, I know Mai and Konami are rampant lesbians. Where fanservice and story meet – you get Popotan.

1. Ikkitousen

Yeah, you knew it was coming. I like Ikkitousen. *Runs away from mad crowd wielding torches and large wet fish* Because obviously, if your Ki protects your body, then powerful blows would only damage your clothes, right? Or maybe school uniforms in Japan are just particularly flimsy. Anyway, how can you not like an anime with a bondage obsessed leather clad eyepatch maid (Ryoumou)? Especially when she gets yuriraped by Ryofu Housen – one of the few actual lesbians in anime. Actually, I lie. The anime isn’t all that good. The manga, however, is great.

Honorable mentions:

Magical Canan – (The non hentai one) Actually, this anime is too bad even for me to bear. However, the other half loves it for no reason. Similarly, Nymphs of the Stratosphere (Magical Cloud Nymphs, as she likes to call them)

UG Ultimate Girls – Started well, but if they had removed UFO-man completely and just had Vivi and Silk have giant yurisex all over the city I think people wouldn’t have thought it was such a bad anime.

Amaenaideyo! – Interesting simply because of introducing a new fetish which I hadn’t heard of before – Huge eyebrows. Ew.

I think that naturally, being androphobic and all, I became attracted to you. You were so strong, so masculine; a tsundere to the core. Ever since that day when I saved your life at the poolside I’ve been thinking about you; doing this and that and things that make me blush right up to my ears. But you were too infatuated with Sergay to notice a poor cursed girl’s love. But I wasn’t bitter, never for a second. Because I’d die for you, Nina-chan.

I think I’ve always loved you, ever since we first met, Secchan. It’s just that the love I felt towards you as a child grew and matured into something better, something infinitely more satisfying. Sometimes, I look into your eyes and see it; the hunger, the NEED. The need to push me down and show me just how much you really love me, in every way you can. And deep down, I want you to do just that. You’ll always be my protector Secchan…

3. Akari/Ichino (Battle Athletes Victory) underdog to Akari/Kris

When I look back now, to think I would have loved you at first sight is hilarious; you, the cowering incompetant and me, the overactive tomboy with the thick Osaka-ben. But every time we trained, every time I batted you and called you an idiot, every time you showed your guts and tried just that little bit harder, I think somehow I came to love you. You were my antithesis, so lithe and feminine, and I was so confused about my feelings that by the time I’d mustered enough courage to tell you how I really felt, you had left. And then there you were, standing there one year later, with the trophy in one hand and Kris in the other. I’ve competed nearly all my life, but this time I’ll truly give it my best. For you.

I glomp you in the swimming pool, I feel you up in the library, I get jealous when Tsubomi calls you “Onee-sama”. I fight to take showers with you, but I don’t think I have enough blood in my body to handle catching a glimpse of your alabaster white curves through the steamed glass. I hugged you and pressed you close in the cathedral and whispered into your ear that there was someone I liked. What will it take to get it into you thick head that I love you?

1. Sakura/Tomoyo (Card Captor Sakura) underdog to Sakura/Syaoran

Sakura-chan, I’ve always loved you, but I think my love is different from yours. You’ll understand when you’re older, I hope. In the meantime, I’ll store these burning feelings deep down inside and watch you from afar, marvel at your cuteness and exact my cosplay fetishes on you, as long as you let me. I’ll watch you as you marry Syaoran and I’ll stay by your side, because I know someday, maybe not soon, maybe not for a long time; someday, you’ll understand and you’ll come back to me.

Yeah, I know it was soppy as hell. No flames please, but constructive criticism is encouraged

Yuri Underdogs Runners up!

The couples who nearly made it into the Top 10!

Chihiro/Kaorin (Azumanga Daioh) Poor Chihiro – it must be difficult to have a relationship with someone who lusts after someone 2 foot taller than you who can run the 100m in 12 seconds. There’s only so much good tongue can make up for…

Orihime/Tatsuki (Bleach) Tatsuki is obviously the uke (submissive) in this relationship ^_^ Orihime should meet up with Tessa and swap bondage tips

Kozame/Kirie (Girls Bravo) Kirie gonna get raped. At gunpoint. You gotta love the evil-yuri! Shizuru taught Kozame all she needed to know ^_^;;

June 8, 2006

To celebrate my getting to a month (yeah, I know, its not long, but sticking with a project of mine to a month is a pretty good acheivement for me), I present the Yuri to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito yuri underdogs top 10. I have to apologise beforehand, since I started out writing them funny (I use the term loosely, of course), but then they went soppy. So I’ll post 10-6 in this post, and 5-1 (the soppy ones) tomorrow, so people can skip them more easily.

Anyway, this Top 10 is for the yuri couples that I feel have been pushed aside, storyline-wise for a main couple of a series, and then slowly fallen out of favour and ended unsatisfactorily (or not given an ending at all -_-;;).

However, to make it into the top 10, a couple had to actually have some subtext in the anime, therefore neatly ruling out most of my favourite couples; for example, Haruka/Mitsuki (Kiminozo) and Evangeline/Chachamaru (Negima) to name but a few. (But anyway, they’ll get included later when I do an Imaginary couples yuri top 10

Without further ado then, I introduce:

The Yuribou Yuri Underdogs Top 10!

10. Tessa/Mao (Full Metal Panic!) underdog to Chidori/Sousuke

Yeah, I know its sub-sub-subtext, but any yuri involving Tessa is manna from heaven in my opinion. The entire fandom is based on Tessa and Mao’s competition and post competition hug in episode 13. Which was hot. And also the 10 millisecond shot of Mao abusing a drunk Tessa in the OVA. Which was also hot. And let’s face it, who doesn’t want to think that the prim and proper captain of the Tuatha de Danaan enjoys yuribeating her subordinates in her spare time?

Well, lets face it, Fate is gayer than a Pentecostal church congregation at Christmas mass. But where did she get all her experience from and at such a young age? Well, that long rough doggy tongue of Arf’s has to be useful for something, doesn’t it…

Noriko: I love you Oneesama!
Shimako: I love you too, Noriko-chan, here, I’ll make you my en-bouton.
Noriko: Wait, oneesama! Watch out for that pit of obscurity!
Shimako: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!Shimako fell into the pit of obscurityGAME OVER

Well, lesbians who are actually together are less interesting than infatuated Kyoto-ben kimono-clad evil-yuri chasing tsundere biker chicks, aren’t they? Well, Sunrise seems to think so. Anyway, they were a lot cuter in Mai Otome; at least Chie won’t have to worry about losing her right to be an Otome in the near future, eh?

Second installment tomorrow

Tanoshimi ni

Ix

PS Sorry about the crappy pictures, its the best I can do for the moment. Update with nicer pics when I am home.

May 26, 2006

Being new to the anime blogging scene, I recently noticed that Jason of Anime on my mind and Blogsuki fame started a challenge a while back for everyone’s ideal harems of 6 girls and one meido. Continued on that thread and in other blogs such as Kurogane’s, I thought I might as well join in the fray, since I have nothing special to blog about, apart from being thrilled at the release of the raw of Shakugan no Shanatan Returns.

Hooray for the return of boxcutters to anime, I was starting to worry that Kaede was going to be the lone proprietor of that meme. They are as welcome as the mikan boxes, of which were blogged on Basugasubakuhatsu, much to everyones disbelief (I don’t believe that no ones really noticed how often they turn up in anime ^_^)…

Anyway, thats the random out of the way. After much hard thought, here is my harem:

1 – Miyu Greer (Mai Otome/Mai HiME)

I think this is a slightly alternative choice, but there’s always got to be a stoic girl in a harem, and for some reason I can’t get enough of the stoic stereotype (I watched the entire of Nadesico for Ruri for heavens sake). On the top of the pile is Miyu (or Merciful/Multiple Intellegential Yggdrasil Unit) who not only has the stoic moe factor, she’s also a robot! And there’s something about having a chaingun for an arm and rocketlaunchers in the kneecaps that hits the spot. It was a hard choice from Otome/Hime, since Nao and Natsuki are also great, but Miyu’s always been my favourite character of the series.

2 – Evangeline Athanasia Katherine McDowell (Negima)

Going with the attack power group comes Evangeline, my favourite character in Negima by a whisker (Chachamaru coming a close second, but obviously, you can’t have 2 robot girls in a harem ^_^) and favourite all round tsundere girl. Putting the loli factor aside, who wouldn’t want to have a girl with the forces of nature at her command in their harem? Also, she can speak Greek and Latin, definitely a major turn on, and did I mention that she was a 500 year old vampire? Very hot.

3 – Anita King (RoD the TV)

Hmm, this seems to be going towards an army, not a harem…I love Anita’s character, even though she’s also tsundere, and that spot’s already been filled. (I’d have put down Nancy, but she would have gone under ‘No Chance’ harem) Out of the 3 sisters, Anita’s fighting style is by far the best and she just rocks as a character ^_^

4 – Azuma Hazuki (Yami to boushi to Hon no Tabibito)

It wouldn’t be a complete harem without a character from the site’s namesake, and Hazuki fulfils the tall dark bishoujo role. In the end, it was a fight between her and Sakaki from Azumanga Daioh for this place in the harem, but Hazuki won out, just because of the shoujo ai-ness and the cool flaming sword (I think somewhat better than Shana’s)

5 – Buchou / Occult Club President (Mahoraba ~Heartful Days~)

Another strange entry, but I felt the need to have a different kind of character in my harem, and Buchou’s orgasmic masochism made her my absolute favourite character (though extraordinarily underdevelooped character-wise) in Mahoraba. I love the way she speaks in the manga (alternating between hiragana and katakana), and the scene when she gets exorcised; priceless. ^_^

6 – Arf (Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha)

Avoiding the loli in Nanoha is difficult, but even taking into account that Nanoha’s artillery style magic and Fate’s supersonic spellcasting is uber cool, Arf holds her own in her devotion to Fate and forever bursting out of that flimsy outfit she’s always wearing. Also, she’s a kemonomimi dog/fox girl! Every harem needs at least one half girl ^_^

Meido – Mare (Popotan)

Mare (or Mea or whatever) closely beats out Tsukamoto Yakumo from the top spot as my favourite anime meido. Although she is another stoic girl, she does get entire episodes to herself, and also…she’s mysterious ^_^ She’s also here because I think that Popotan is great and understated as an anime – Go watch it people!
Also coming in close behind or on the ‘No Chance’ list were Azumanga Daioh’s Sakaki and Kaorin, Cardcaptor Sakura’s Daidouji Tomoyo, Kimi ga Nozomu Eien’s Suzumiya Akane, School Rumble’s Sawachika Eri and Tsukamoto Yakumo, Nanoha and Fate from Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha, Shizuru from Mai Otome, Ichino from Battle Athletes Victory, Orihime from Bleach, Winry from Full Metal Alchemist, Genshiken’s Kanako Ohno, Ikkitousen’s Shimei Ryoumou, Haruhi’s Mikuru, Onegai Teacher’s Ichigo and most of the female cast of Mahou Sensei Negima.

I think thats enough disturbing the general public with my tastes in imaginary women for now… hmm..benkyoo, benkyoo.