I got a call this morning about 11:30. It was from Rich, one of the guys that works at the screen printing shop. He wanted to know if I had heard from Kevin, our head printer. He was AWOL again. I told him I hadn’t but I sighed because Kevin was getting worse about not showing up for work. Steve is out of town with his Nanna, who is very ill. I told Rich I would make sure Kevin had a ride to work if he called. Then Rich said, “Oh, he’s been missing since seven last night, just so you know.”

That couldn’t be good, now could it?

At 1:30 this afternoon, Bob, the other printer called. I asked what was going on and he said, “It’s not good.” And I knew. I knew right then. He didn’t even have to tell me that Kevin was dead. He didn’t have to tell me that Kevin had killed himself.

It was like someone opened a trap door and I fell through it, like Alice down a rabbit hole. Now, I’m laying at the bottom of it. Devastated. Just yesterday he followed me out of the shop and asked, “Can I have one more hug?” I hugged him tight and he said, “I could spend two whole days hugging you and never get tired of it. I love ya girl.” I said, “I love you too, bud.”

Right before I got in my car, I looked back at him, standing in the doorway with his faded shirt and bagging shorts, “Love ya, see ya, bye, bye!” Thats how we always said bye and he answered me and then struck a pose, which made me laugh out loud. Now he’s gone. How could this happen?