They
didn't know that I kept the worst away from them...but what they saw was enough.

Luckily, they introduced me to a counsellor when I was 14 and I seriously owe my life to
him.

I
want to hammer it home.

He saved my life.

He
saw that I was depressed. He didn’t know why because I wasn’t at a point in my
life where I could trust anyone after what I’d been through so I couldn’t tell
him. He didn’t know the complete depths of my wretchedness but he knew enough
to be able to lodge a phrase in my head: “Suicide is a permanent solution to a
temporary problem.”

This
stayed with me for years to come, kept me alive and I feel like counselling is a
much underrated way of helping people come to terms with their inner turmoil.

I
feel like, on the whole, the focus of helping people deal with mental health
has taken a shift towards a blanket approach of medication and not enough
emphasis on helping people sift through their thoughts to find out what their
problems are.

A
very close friend of mine explained to me regarding his experiences with
various professionally prescribed pharmaceutical medications "from my own
experiences, they do nothing. They are a band-aid for a missing limb”.

Another
close friend has turned her life around with her professionally prescribed
medication and a, seemingly accurate, diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, so I don’t
condemn all medication completely.

She
admitted that she was lucky, she had a very good relationship with her mental
health professional and it took months of trial and error to find the correct
medication.

From
all of my experiences, not just the two mentioned, it just takes more time to
accurately diagnose an individual's mental health than what our current mental
health system has allocated time to do.

I
find people quite often don't understand just how important it is to maintain a
gauge of their emotions, thought processes and how they impact everyone in
their life.

This
is where counselling has helped me; by helping me recognize what’s going on in
my head.

It's
easy to say but our minds work in twisted ways and I know, more than most, just
how insidious the inner workings of our mind can distort reality.

It’s
partly having someone supportive to talk to, to debrief, but, more
importantly, it's an education in recognizing the state of your mental health,
self-esteem, learning coping mechanisms, your triggers and what to do when you
feel like your world is about to cave in.

The
biggest developments have happened when I’ve been all alone, in the dark,
feeling catastrophically dismal and I’ve managed to bring myself out of my
depression because I’ve been taught to love myself; to not blame myself for
what has happened to me.

I
was taught to be proud of myself for surviving; that I’m worthwhile.

The
nitty-gritty is that, when I was about 13 and a half, in 2002, a parent helper
in my Scout group took a shine to me in a disgusting, predatory way.

He
told me he’d take me to some nearby camping spots, the best camping spots, get
me alcohol and hook me up with his friend.

To
be clear “hook up” means sex.

As
a child I was naïve enough to believe this guy who seemed cool, who made me
feel cool and, before I knew it, this man had a drunken child at his disposal.

I
can’t go into detail in a public forum but this man, in a series of confusing
events over three weekends, quite simply changed my life for the worse.

I’ve
been told by mental health professionals that I now have, and probably will
have for the rest of my life, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety,
depression and serious trust issues.

It’s
taken years of counselling, setbacks, heartache, hitting rock-bottom numerous
times, people concernedly asking me, “What’s WRONG with you? WHY are you like
this?” and, even going to jail, for me to be able to write my story with the full
knowledge that it won’t be instantly forgotten by a drunken acquaintance; that
the public will look upon me, my story available for all to see, and judge me
while I’m not numbed by drugs.

The
way I see it is I was killed in 2002...and I’ve only just been reborn.

Most
of my brothers and sisters don’t get to be reborn.

Sexual
abuse is rife in our society. It’s taboo to talk about and, obviously I’ve got
more reasons than most, I’m very vocal about just how horrible it is.

I’m
very critical about the severely gruelling process that a sexual abuse victim
has to undergo in order to complete a sexual abuse report and try to find some
closure.

My
personal experience is that I have had a sexual abuse report filed for more
than one year (including a previous report getting lost). The perpetrator is
currently in jail for sexually abusing young boys and the onus is on me, as the
childhood sexual assault victim, to continually call the police to follow up my
case and get the perpetrator charged.

It’s
very hard. It breaks my heart that a government department put in place to
protect and serve our society, specifically in this very sensitive area of
abuse, has failed me so much.

Then
I think of the thousands of children who haven’t been as lucky as me who want
help, who go to these departments put in place to dispense justice, and are
essentially pushed under the carpet or can’t push through the barriers of our
justice system.

I
dread to think of how many lives are wasted because of colossal failures of
justice like my own.

How
many sad young people just give up?

This
probably won’t be read by those who would benefit the most from it; my brothers
and sisters among the Legions of the Abused who are about to give up.

Show
this article to anyone you feel may value from it and know that, regardless if
you’ve been abused or not, that you have a brother in me.

I’ve
been shattered. I’ve been broken. I’ve had help to put the pieces back together
and, seemingly, I’m stronger because of it.

My
name is Daley Stritzke. I’m a 25 year old young man...and I’ve survived sexual
abuse.

If you need advice about coping with your situation there are lots of places to get help. Find someone to help you.

23
Comments

R Cummmings

Very well written Dailey. Your story will provide others with a courage to rise above such traumatic events and find their way to reach happiness.
" The final steps to healing is the final steps of pain"

Helen Kavanagh

Daley, thank you so much for sharing your story. I think you are extraordinarily brave. It takes a lot of courage to discuss this in a public forum and I am sure it can only benefit others who have gone through similar experiences. I hope your future is filled with healing and love.

Jess Norris

Daley, as a depression sufferer myself I know some of the twisted, warped and downright wrong things our minds can come up with when we are at the bottom of that black abyss.
Thank you so much for putting the emphasis back on counseling and understanding your own emotions.
You always have my love and support!

Elwyn

You have a wonderful way with words Daley; a real ability to communicate - perhaps you will continue to use this gift for the benefit of others as well as a way to express yourself. I wish you continuing courage in your life.

daley stritzke

thanks everyone, brothers and sisters for the kind words and love. i'll be hanging around CQ if you need me and i'm always a facebook away:)

Des

Oh Daley, I don't know where to begin. Please know that this has helped someone broken. Someone desperately trying to be reborn. Thank you for your courage and open honesty.

Casey

We are all blessed to have your message of hope for so many that have none. Thank you for sharing this. What you have gone through is utterly terrible, but to be able to tackle your own mind and not let it control your external experience from now on (and to be reborn, as you say) is so commendable! I wish you every happiness.

Corin Linch

As a survivor myself I feel your story deeply and congratulate you on the fact that you have found life once again ......... I urge you to stay strong my friend
This YouTube link tells my story of survival.
Innocence Stolen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OH1u3cTgacc

Amy Groves

Brother Daley thank-you for telling your story I hope that I can one day be at peace with my own battle and tell my story as well. I have good and bad days and sometimes it is one day at a time. As my mantra since I came out of my silent hell:
The Past is History
The Present a Gift
The Future a Mystery.
Regards,
Your Sister Amy

Susan Godenzi

Daley, you get my Hero's Award for your piece. Shattered things that have been put back together and re-glued, have a lot of character and strength.
Love and peace to you, from one of your sisters.

Sean Tosold

Mate, you like me are a Warrior..... we are survivors and should be very proud of it well done on sharing your story buddy.

Jennifer Douglas

Daley, thank you for sharing your courageous story.

Kaylene Paradine

Daley, it warms my hear to know you have fought this battle and been 'reborn'. The road you have travelled is a long and dark one. Unfortunately too many of our young people have to travel this road, often alone. I am happy to hear that you had a good and positive experience with counselling. You have nailed it by stating that our current mental health system does not allow the time needed for mental health professionals to travel this path with young people. Rockhampton has been fortunate enough to have a State funded youth mental health program (Wahroonga) operating for the last 11 years which has allowed mental health professionals to work with young people in a way that best meets their psychological and emotional needs. Unfortunately, the State Government has removed this valued funding and the program will close on 30 September 2014, leaving a massive gap in the community mental health services for young people in this region. Your courage in sharing your story is a testament to the young man you are. I wish you all the very best in the future.

Ian Walker

Hey Daley. It takes a brave person to do this. And a resilient one to do it so well. You have incredible leadership qualities. Hope you get to develop those more. Look forward to future posts re your progress in the wider world.

Kathleen Millhouse

God bless you Daley, what a brave and wonderful person you are. This piece is just another testament to that. Your strength and courage never ceases to amaze me. Have a safe journey secure in the knowledge that day by day, bit by bit you are changing the world.

Jim Douglas

You are an inspiration Daley. To go public in such a way takes great courage and conviction and reveals how far you have come. Sadly, your story highlights the obscenity perpetrated by our state government in its recent cuts to local mental health sevices. Shame on them and kudos to you.

Jess Gudmann

A well written article. You're so brave for writing this. I hope it has helped you.

Rebekah Van Druten

You're so courageous Daley. Thanks for being so open and honest.

Lloyd Handyside

This is one of the most well thought out, candid and empowering stories that I have read in a long time. Anyone who reads this will surely take away their own personal message from the story as it strikes deep on so many levels.
Proud of you buddy

peter walkley

as your grandfather,i could not be more proud of you.it,s hard to concieve the guts it must have taken to put down your story in such a touching way.
to bear your soul in such a way is heartbreaking.i can only hope that police action can bring you peace and justice so you can get on you life.

Linda Davis

Your courage in writing this piece is commendable and surely will help others to begin a journey that will lead to personal growth. Thank you Daley and best wishes to you.

Malcolm Wells

A powerful, well told story Daley, it must have taken a lot of courage to put it into writing. I hope it has helped you.I am impressed by the work I have seen of yours and I wish you all the best.

Lisa Clarke

Thank you so much for being so brave to share your experience Daley. Hopefully your story will give strength to other survivors and let them know that they are not alone.