This is one of those stories that I was reminded of tonight by a friend. It takes place in various spots in Northern BC and it involves one of the nicest, most naive men I’ve ever known. His name is Frick, because the motherfricker said it so often. Seriously. The only time he would actually swear, was when he was quoting what someone else had said. The funny thing was that working in the oilfield gave him lots of opportunity to cuss his face off, while never having to actually swear. The first time I was ever in a vehicle with him was really weird. He drove extremely fast on really bad roads, all the while telling me stories with lots of swearing in quotations. I’ll try to demonstrate with Frick in quotation marks and the original quote in italics. Keep in mind that there are quotes inside of quotes, and the entire thing is a quote from Frick Continue reading →

Dear TT: How do you tell someone nicely that they are being a whiny ass? I really couldn’t give a shit if this person remains in my life, but because of mutual friends, that they are family with, I feel like I need to keep the peace. However, for this to happen, I would like to address the fact that they are a huge douchecanoe, and hopefully help them become tolerable.Sincerely, Not perfect – But close!

Dear Not Perfect: I would just let them have it. They really do need to know. It’s better if you can push them down on the ground first, just for intimidation sake. You then stand over them and kick them while you yell completely insane shit that no one else can understand. It can’t make any sense at all, kind of like religion, and then when you feel redeemed and that they have taken enough abuse, you pretend to snap out of it and come to your senses. You say that the Lord just came into your heart,and told you to quit hurting that person. You then reach down to help them up and whisper to them “If you ever whine again, I will cut your fucking heart out and eat it.” Continue reading →

There, I said it. I would eat a Chick-fil-A sandwich, just on principle.Wait, let me state my case before you get all crazy on me, you buncha homo lovers.

From the info I’ve pulled off of Wikipedia, Chick-fil-A started a charity in 1984 called the WinShape Foundation, which has a sister foundation called Lifeshape. Now the WinShape Foundation, from what I can tell, gives money to Eagle Forum, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, Marriage and Family Legacy Fund, Family Research Council, Exodus International, and Focus On The Family. They also have some sort of affiliation with the Pennsylvania Family Institute.

Now most of you know my feelings about religion and the folks who spout it, so you would think that I would be all over these people, but how is that any different than them trying to silence me? The thing is that my stance on freedom of speech overrules that. Just like I’m free to say what I want about religion, sex, and whatever other bullshit that I’m spewing, they are free to believe what they want and say it as loud as they want. Well, as long as there’s not a curfew where they are. No one is allowed to just be screaming their head off all night. Lights out at eleven, peeps.

Quite a bit of cursing in this one. Just saying. Or is it jus’ sayin’? Oh fuck, who really cares, anyhow?

So, for those of you that don’t follow comic books, let me fill you in on something…

I don’t follow comic books either.

I do follow stupid shit though, so when I saw this on a friend’s Facebook wall, I had to investigate.

Tabar-fucking-nak

Yes, I was informed that the white dude in the left-hand picture is an openly gay, Quebecois superhero from the X-Men comic books. What in the fuck is this world coming to? Do you seriously think that children need to be exposed to this sort of abomination? It’s bad enough that they have to see these freaks on television, in our hockey games, or in our makeshift military, but now we have to see them in our comic books as well. They have even taken over Las Vegas, mincing about in their colourful costumes, and their tight leotards. I remember when Vegas was reserved for real men, like Old Blue Eyes, Sammy Davis Jr. and Deano. Jesus Christ, they’d be rolling in their graves right now if they could see the shit that’s going on in the world. Continue reading →