After his disappointing princess-dominated trip on the Disney Dream, Ethan wrote this sternly worded letter expressing his concern for the boys around the world looking for their chivalrous animated role models.

Ethan’s handwriting is pretty darn good for an eight-year-old, but if you need a transcription of his note, here it is:

Dear Disney Cruise line,

My name is Ethan, I am 8 years old. I just got back from a trip on the Disney Dream. I had a pretty good time, but it could have been better. I wish I could have met some princes like Aladdin, or Eric, but there were no boy characters on the ship. I would also like to meet Jack Sparrow. It made me a little sad. I complained a lot. I’m not sure we’ll go on another cruise again. I hope that you’ll make a change so that other little boys can meet the guys they think are cool.

Sincerely
Ethan

You tell ’em, Ethan. Adorably outraged kids rule.

In Disney’s defense, though, we dug up this itinerary of character schedules for an upcoming Disney Dream trip, along with a list of characters that are likely to be seen on the cruise ship. Behold, Aladdin and Jack Sparrow:

In light of this evidence, either Ethan’s parents’ poor scheduling may have caused the missed opportunities to meet the guys he thinks are cool, the Dream cruise lineup has changed or Disney’s the best at false advertising.