The Official Joke thread

This is a discussion on The Official Joke thread within Shifting gears, part of the Around the Corner category; Originally Posted by Archish
A boy and his father visiting from a small village were at a mall. They were ...

A boy and his father visiting from a small village were at a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?". The father responded, "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!".

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24-year old woman stepped out.

The father said to his son, "Go get your mother!".

Similar thing is shown in an old Kannada movie in 1985 but in a Hotel lift.

Intel today announced the release of our latest G4 product, the Intel® PhartPhone™, which propels Intel’s eco-tech leadership into the entirely new category of self-powered handheld devices.

Intel® PhartPhone™

The Sales and Marketing Group (SMG) advertising campaign will feature this tagline to build awareness and acceptance for the new devices: “Amaze your colleagues with your eco-cred. Your PhartPhone will turn your friends green—with envy!”

How does the PhartPhone work? It’s easy. No more batteries. If you’re running low on power, simply release into the special funnel (a discreet yet convenient three-foot hose supplied with your new PhartPhone) and you’ll be talking, texting and tooting all night long.

The PhartPhone is the result of several years of top-secret development work by Intel Eco-Tech program office and Intel Labs. “In our drive to deliver a low-power PC, we’ve hit a wall,” explained Intel Labs VP Mark Balderdash said. “Atom is great, sure, but to meet the Moore’s Law test, the only way forward was to figure out how to embed a methane gas transducer in future form factors, so that individuals can power their own PCs and handheld devices.”

The PhartPhone is not the only Intel technology made possible by harnessing and storing methane gas. Thanks to a joint venture with several global agribusinesses, our manufacturing facilities will also be leveraging vast quantities of so-called “green gas” emitted by cows, sheep and swine.

“We knew we needed to push the envelope when it came to addressing both environmental and economic concerns going forward,” said TMG leader Ryan Krzandwich. “Anaerobic digestion technology collected from swine and cattle feedlots will allow us to harvest noxious gases in sufficient quantities to power our tools.

“By aggressively embracing this new ‘green gas’ technology, we expect to and save enough money to pay for round-the-clock free meals for our fab workers, which will now consist largely of legumes and cabbage. Naturally, bunny suits will be modified to provide full nose-mouth coverage to accommodate the eco-aroma.”

Intel today announced the release of our latest G4 product, the Intel® PhartPhone™, which propels Intel’s eco-tech leadership into the entirely new category of self-powered handheld devices.

Intel® PhartPhone™

The Sales and Marketing Group (SMG) advertising campaign will feature this tagline to build awareness and acceptance for the new devices: “Amaze your colleagues with your eco-cred. Your PhartPhone will turn your friends green—with envy!”

How does the PhartPhone work? It’s easy. No more batteries. If you’re running low on power, simply release into the special funnel (a discreet yet convenient three-foot hose supplied with your new PhartPhone) and you’ll be talking, texting and tooting all night long.

The PhartPhone is the result of several years of top-secret development work by Intel Eco-Tech program office and Intel Labs. “In our drive to deliver a low-power PC, we’ve hit a wall,” explained Intel Labs VP Mark Balderdash said. “Atom is great, sure, but to meet the Moore’s Law test, the only way forward was to figure out how to embed a methane gas transducer in future form factors, so that individuals can power their own PCs and handheld devices.”

The PhartPhone is not the only Intel technology made possible by harnessing and storing methane gas. Thanks to a joint venture with several global agribusinesses, our manufacturing facilities will also be leveraging vast quantities of so-called “green gas” emitted by cows, sheep and swine.

“We knew we needed to push the envelope when it came to addressing both environmental and economic concerns going forward,” said TMG leader Ryan Krzandwich. “Anaerobic digestion technology collected from swine and cattle feedlots will allow us to harvest noxious gases in sufficient quantities to power our tools.

“By aggressively embracing this new ‘green gas’ technology, we expect to and save enough money to pay for round-the-clock free meals for our fab workers, which will now consist largely of legumes and cabbage. Naturally, bunny suits will be modified to provide full nose-mouth coverage to accommodate the eco-aroma.”

Intel India’s ‘coolest work place’ quotient reaches a dizzying height. Acting swiftly on employee feedback through chatter.intel.com, the site management has decided to set up half a dozen gigantic hot air balloons up in the sky spread across the 41-acre campus in Bangalore.

Each air balloon with its basket of 5X6 feet diameter will house high-tech relaxing lounge with six-seat capacity. Employees can take an air balloon ride in between their hectic schedules, which will help them to unwind. These balloons will have massage chairs, MP3 players, magazines and newspapers in it to make the ride exhilarating and engaging.

These facilities will be first-of-its-kind in the corporate history. It underlines Intel India’s objective of ‘coolest place to work’ as hot air balloons are traditionally associated with recreation & fun.

The site has put this project on quick ramp and to be completed in four weeks.

The mid air floating relaxing lounge facility will be made available to employees as pilot from WW17.1 for a week on first-come-first-served basis.

You can book & use this for half an hour and share your feedback and experiences.

Intel India’s ‘coolest work place’ quotient reaches a dizzying height. Acting swiftly on employee feedback through chatter.intel.com, the site management has decided to set up half a dozen gigantic hot air balloons up in the sky spread across the 41-acre campus in Bangalore.

Each air balloon with its basket of 5X6 feet diameter will house high-tech relaxing lounge with six-seat capacity. Employees can take an air balloon ride in between their hectic schedules, which will help them to unwind. These balloons will have massage chairs, MP3 players, magazines and newspapers in it to make the ride exhilarating and engaging.

These facilities will be first-of-its-kind in the corporate history. It underlines Intel India’s objective of ‘coolest place to work’ as hot air balloons are traditionally associated with recreation & fun.

The site has put this project on quick ramp and to be completed in four weeks.

The mid air floating relaxing lounge facility will be made available to employees as pilot from WW17.1 for a week on first-come-first-served basis.

You can book & use this for half an hour and share your feedback and experiences.

Intel India’s ‘coolest work place’ quotient reaches a dizzying height. Acting swiftly on employee feedback through chatter.intel.com, the site management has decided to set up half a dozen gigantic hot air balloons up in the sky spread across the 41-acre campus in Bangalore.

Each air balloon with its basket of 5X6 feet diameter will house high-tech relaxing lounge with six-seat capacity. Employees can take an air balloon ride in between their hectic schedules, which will help them to unwind. These balloons will have massage chairs, MP3 players, magazines and newspapers in it to make the ride exhilarating and engaging.

These facilities will be first-of-its-kind in the corporate history. It underlines Intel India’s objective of ‘coolest place to work’ as hot air balloons are traditionally associated with recreation & fun.

The site has put this project on quick ramp and to be completed in four weeks.

The mid air floating relaxing lounge facility will be made available to employees as pilot from WW17.1 for a week on first-come-first-served basis.

You can book & use this for half an hour and share your feedback and experiences.

This sounds exciting, if the employee wants to travel from sarjapur ring road office to the one on airport road, would the baloon do the job? May be they should charge and ask their managers to approve the claims