Ask Zsyrii: Rushing Love

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Dear Zsyrii,

Why do we rush relationships? My friend – let’s call her Nancy – breaks up with a person and then replaces them within the next month. She thinks she is in love, but she is not – she throws the word around too much, and acts like she cares when she doesn’t.

-Frustrated Friend

Dear Frustrated Friend,

I have constantly wondered the same thing. Recently I was speaking to my cousin, who said that he thought we focused too much on finding a boyfriend/girlfriend and that we should just live and have fun. At first, I took offense and thought “Wow, boys are the worst,” but then I realized he was completely right. Going through my teenage years, I just wanted to be wanted. I didn’t really think about whether I was rushing but instead about the fact that someone was interested in me and giving me romantic attention.

Now about your friend Nancy: sometimes you have to go through a bunch of trial and error to know what is really good for you. We are constantly growing as people and what we define as love changes as we grow. I suggest you sit down with your friend and let her know how you feel, because it seems your really passionate about this topic. If Nancy is truly your friend maybe you should try to further understand the root of this relationship hopping; maybe it’s a root issue that she’s been dealing with. So if you notice her throwing the word around, maybe you should ask her why she loves them or what is it that she loves about them. You should talk to your friend to see where her head is at and maybe help he make better decisions, but also realize that people need to make their own mistakes and learn on their own.

Lust is often misinterpreted as “love” by younger generations. I believe when you’re young, your interpretation of love changes with each relationship. We are so quick to believe that the first person who goes out their way for us “loves” us and we are in “love.” I’m not saying that young love doesn’t exist, but we often misinterpret love. I think instead of going out looking to be loved, that we should instead enjoy ourselves and live our lives without necessarily looking for “love.”