Monkey business

See, during a Dec. 12 speech at the chamber, Inhofe told the audience that the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” did not, as some people might have thought, mean bestiality also was being allowed in the military.

The remarks, which some took as a slam against homosexuals, quickly drew fire.

The chamber issued a statement distancing itself from the senator’s comments. Inhofe, for his part, said he was offended by the controversy and only had been trying to dispel an Internet rumor. In other words: It wasn’t a slur against gays; it was an actual explanation for people who believe every piece of spam that arrives in their email inbox. “Oh, my! A Nigerian prince urgently in need of my assistance? Do go on.”

After realizing that, yes, Inhofe’s explanation appeared to be directed at gullible goobers out there capable of making gigantic leaps in logic, the chamber issued a sheepish (pun intended) apology.

“In working with Senator Inhofe’s staff, we now understand Senator Inhofe’s remarks were made in an attempt to clarify a legislative matter associated with the repeal of the military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy,’’ chamber president and CEO Mike Neal stated in the letter published in the Tulsa World.

“He provided examples of constituent communication in an effort to refute speculative fears about certain sections of the repealed National Defense Authorization Act.’’ Neal continued in the letter: “Senator Inhofe is a steadfast supporter and champion of business issues and we apologize for misinterpreting his remarks.’’ Not all, however, are buying the premise that Inhofe was trying to debunk rumors.

Toby Jenkins, executive director of Oklahomans for Equality, told the Tulsa newspaper, “We are very discouraged that a U.S. senator continues to wage war against gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender Oklahoma citizens,” and that Inhofe “dishonors Oklahoma veterans who were gay or lesbian and had to serve in silence.”

Well, whatever Inhofe’s motivations, it’s good to see the lovers’ quarrel may finally be over — which, for the record, does not necessarily mean the chamber or Inhofe are endorsing bestiality.