Tangled Web

A look at inside the weird world of the worldwide web: this week, Pep Guardiola's epic pre-match motivational video

'My name is Carles Puyol i Saforcada, Commander of the Armies in the North, General of the Catalonian Legions, Loyal Servant to the true Emperor, Josep "Pep" Guardiola.' And, thanks to this pre-match motivational video, now captain of the European champions. Given Manchester United's dismal display in Rome, one can only imagine they prepared with footage of Disney's Bambi. As Fergie may have said: 'I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next'

After a season of many more jeers than cheers, northeast clubs indulge in nostalgia today at the Northern Masters - with the intriguing prospect of a star turn in the unpredictable shape of Mr P Gascoigne appearing for Newcastle in this six-a-side veterans tournament. While former footballers are not always an edifying sight, fans who admired Gazza's mercurial talents should watch Sky Sports Xtra at 5pm