As Good as Live Aid (85)

Thursday, November 29

You know that feeling when you first suspect that you might be getting sick? You can kind of feel it like in your eyes and neck, and it's Thursday and you're all, "I'm going to be sick on Friday and Saturday." And you think back to earlier in the day and remember the conversation you had with that guy you work with who was a five-time Jeopardy champion, and you were holding your lunch as you were talking to him when he told you he was really, really ill the day before and only really ill right now? Hey, me too!

Similarly, I've been getting that exact same sickly feeling about the Leafs this week. I've watched them play and I've just been getting that crap feeling in my body about everything that's been going on in the organization.The way the septic cabal that is MLSE have treated John Ferguson Jr. is disgraceful. Whether one is a fan of Ferguson or not, you have to agree that the way they have strung him along for years now, undermining his already limited abilities, speaks of a type of ego not exclusive too, but horribly common to fuckers who have too much money and not enough ability. I'm sureRichard Peddie and Larry Tanenbaum are brilliant at business and could take a charcoal briquette between the cheeks and turn it into a diamond, but they can not run a hockey team. They almost destroyed the Toronto Raptors with their "we're rich, so we know everything" thinking. They finally wizened up and let Peter Colangelo do what they couldn't: run a basketball team. The problem here with the Leafs is, these two fuckers are Canadian, and because of that, they genuinely think that they are qualified to run a hockey team; let alone the most valuable one in the world.

Thinking we know everything about hockey is a Canadians birthright. If it weren't for that, you wouldn't be reading this blog, or anyone else's, because there'd be no opinions on it. It'd just be a report featuring a dreadful, boring lament of stats. That's not hockey. That's baseball.So Peddie comes out and twists the mighty Excalibur knife in Fergie's back by telling the press that hiring JFJ was a mistake. This ivory tower mea culpa is so disingenuous it makes me feel ill. Peddie is trying to swing negative public opinion away from his own ass over onto Fergie's. He's trying to mollify Leafs fans and come on as the formerly abusive husband, and that he really feels bad, and it'll never happen again. Does anyone not realize that MLSE hired Ferguson precisely because, and not in spite of, the fact that he was inexperienced? That they had ample time and opportunity to hire anyone in the world to one of the most prestigious jobs in hockey, but instead they chose to hire someone they knew they could bully, dominate and micro-manage because their collective ego's tell them that if they don't run the show, nothing will get done right! Haven't we all had asshole bosses like that?~~~~

A couple of thoughts about the Montreal game. Carey Price's butterfly is one of the most perfect and natural I've ever seen. That sounds like a metaphor for his genitals, but it isn't. His positioning is so fluid it seems almost casual.Once again a great Leafs/Habs game. Once again, a game the Leafs should've/could've/would've won if not for fantastic opposition goaltending and bone dry home scoring.Met two really nice Habs fans the day of the game in a deli on Santa Monica Blvd. While waiting for our sandwiches I heard them speaking French to the girl behind the counter, and thought I heard one of them say "Quebec". Said hi to them and asked if they were Canadian. They were, and of course we fall immediately into talking about hockey; one of them wearing a sweatshirt with "Canadiens" written across the chest. We then compared the Leafs and Habs keyrings we all were sporting and talked about the game that night. No trash talking or bravado shit, it was just very cool.Typically heroic way for Mats to score his 400th goal as a Leaf, ripping it over Price's glove with 18 seconds. Jesus, I love him.~~~~

Leafs win easily in Atlanta tonight, partially due to a withering stare from Loser Domi and partially because the Leafs just wanted it more and didn't let the Thrashers have the puck for two periods. Slump breaking goal by Alex Steen off of great work by Wellwood drawing two defenders to him, then dropping it for Alex to kill past a good Johan Hedberg. The Thrash got a little gumption in the third, and forced Toskala to make a hilariously big save against Pascal Dupuis with 4 minutes left. Mats scores with what now has to be considered his legendary backhand shot. I didn't feel sick even once the whole game.

There is a Monty Python routine about a man with three buttocks. An old phrase about having to see a man about a horse. There is the Man With The Golden Gun, a man from Nantucket and The Old Man And The Sea. There is a Man on the Moon and a man from U.N.C.L.E. Mannix watched Chico and the Man and the Blue Man Group. The Man from La Mancha listened to The Man in Black while Man Ray played Pac Man.What, you ask, am I talking about? Just compiling a list of people who are better in the shootout than the Toronto Maple Leafs. At a pitiful 7 for 17 since the introduction of the format. (And a woeful 0 and 3 already this season) What bugs me most about that stat is how its used. Yes it is easy to say that a few more shoot out wins (last year) and the Leafs are in and the Isles are out. I am hoping beyond hope that this year doesn't warrant that same excuse. The reason the Leafs didn't make the playoffs last year wasn't (just) because of an impotent shoot-out record. It was because of underachieving millionaires. Sadly we went to the dance with those same fatsos. (Save for Jason Blake (save being the key word when it comes to him.) As someone who adores said fatsos...I can only hope that they don't wait until the final game to miss the dance. Please take the first 60 minutes of the game into your hands. The key to this game and in this league is consistency not shoot out moves.

Do or die. Even Jason Blake knew it when he declared Tuesday’s game as team defining. With 60 games remaining…this is it. It begins now. With this loss in the shoot-out. And perhaps the last shot of the game, Blake…a 40 goal man (apparently) …defining his early Leafs tenure by missing.

I don’t think it’s above the realm of possibility to see this team making the play offs. It’s easy to laugh the Leafs out of the playoffs. It’s proto-Canadian to eat our own. But this team can still make it. I really believe that. There have been moments (at least 8 times this year) where playoffs are a definite.Look at the reaction the team had when Mats scored to tie the game last night. Thats what you build from. His white shoulders....and his burning desire.

And Sundin, oh Captain my Captain. A man so white he looks like a polar bear doing cocaine in a snow storm…scores numero 400.Quite frankly Mats legacy may be tarnished by never bringing the cup home…but I really do believe that years from now Mats will be mentioned as the best of them all. Better than Keon, Sittler, Clark, Mahovlich, Salming and Dougie. Yes, I said it: Dougie.