Category Archives: Bitches

The PatrickPorter award for the best present and best guest overall goes to Kirrily. The prize for the most perverse guests goes to the Keith!Party crew – comprising on this occasion Talkshow Boy, 2-SHEE, Hot God, Gezus and entourage including Ms C. C*ulter (alias unknown) – who turned up unfashionably early, immediately occupied what would normally be the dancing room and systematically set about turning it into a chillout room. WTF. (NB: And it was *great*.)

Prize for the most long-lost-but-pleasingly-now-seemingly-regained former CH party regular goes to Vicwie. Prize for the best guest who wasn’t able to attend physically but who came in essence goes, as always, to Wads. Prize for the best autographed copy of Kafka’s “Metamorphosis” and best Tasweigan mafia attaché goes to Doktor Midnight aka The Dan CrossRevolution. Prize for the best drug by almost universal consensus goes to nitrous oxide.

Prize for the most gobsmacking act of delusionality – not to mention the most concerted but nevertheless pathetically unsuccessful attempt to ruin a birthday party of mine in the history of the world – goes to the profoundly fucked in the head disappointing Ms G. Rouse. Prize for the most departing housemate of three years goes to Grim$ha.

Prize for the most heroically tenacious still-recovering-from-her-own-birthday-shenanigan-the-previous-night attendee and all-round best MC-Ren-would-you-please-give-your-testimony-to-the-jury-about-this-fucked-up-incident regaliousness goes to Toots.

Special award for the mouthiest ho goes, as it generally does, to Kat (see audio, below).

One of the main reasons my blog is so dead these days is that all the action it might once have seen is now occurring on my two Facebookaccounts.

FB – rapacious motherfucker that it is – has eaten my blog.

I’m not particularly happy about this, but so it goes. Can’t force shit.

Here is the news:

I am doing alright; better even. I’ve become a bit decadent over the semester break but that’s okay. I need a new job, and I’ve all but decided to defer school for the rest of the year to focus on making some money and generally sloughing off the final vestiges of My Worst Depression Since 2005 ™ – which is, pleasingly, drawing to a close fucking FINALLY.

Bring on spring.

I had another bustup with Lady J the week before last, which has made me a bit sad. But I’ll get over it. And in thematically related news, I’m still estranged from my former associate the artist sometimes known as Schnozzie, which also continues to cause me grief.

Being severely alienated from people you love a lot and have epic history with really sucks.

What else? My sister moved house last weekend, which was a major operation and marked the end of an era. Her new place is massive – she now has her own studio, which I am very envious of – and her new housemates are lovely. Yay Toots’s new house.

Finally: I’m having a birthday party on September 24th. It’s going to go OFF. You should totally come.

All of V*cw*e’s parts have been edited out – which is a shame IMHO, coz they’re golden. But so it goes.

(She got kind of shitty at me about the whole thing, which was a bit upsetting. This is the first time anyone’s ever gotten pissy at me over blog audio. There’s an interesting post in all of this. But methinks it’s a story for another time.)

In happier news: I found out on Tuesday that, against all expectations, I got into art school.

(NB The extent to which nothing is or is not ever the same in your specific experiential sphere may vary in accordance with a range of factors – some known, some unknown; some known to be unknown, others unknown as unknown. The degree of liability expressed or implied by the above statement can be estimated at approximately one [1] wad of NADA. Hooray for everything.)