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Say no and don't feel bad

I recently came across an article about the teenage sexting culture (and abuse) and how media and technology has put teenagers in a compromising and hurting position when sending nudes.

(Unfortunately I can no longer find this article but have found similar articles.)

The article goes on to say how sexting and nudes among teenagers and young people is increasing and how dangerous it can be. While I was amazed and slightly shocked by this article, one thing stuck out to me in the article and it didn't have much to do with the sexting culture itself.

"How do I say no without hurting his feelings?" is what one girl contributed to the article when a guy asked her to send nude photos.

I read a lot of stories from young girls and woman and their fear of saying no when asked for sexual favours and it is terrifying for me to see that. These girls and woman are afraid that if they say no, the guy will lose interest, leave or even hurt them, so instead they say yes, even if they really don't want to, they feel forced to say yes in return for attention and that is not the way it should be.

If you don't want to do something, or you don't want to sext and send tit pictures for whatever reason, then you say NO. You don't want to hurt his feelings? What consideration did he have for your feelings when he made you feel uncomfortable by asking for nudes huh? No consideration for you whatsoever. This applies to all aged woman and men to be honest. You say no and you be a badass about it.

If he gets annoyed, angry or straight up throws a hissy fit, then so be it. He isn't worth it, period.
Find someone who either doesn't ask for nudes or doesn't get pissy when you tell him no (in any sexual context) A woman shouldn't be afraid of saying no; but they are and it angers me so much.

We need to build a new culture where we empower woman to stand up and say no. I will always say no if I don't want to do something and I honestly couldn't give two shits if it hurts their feelings or if it beats down on their ego. Don't feel bad for not wanting to do something. In the past, even I have said yes to something that I actually didn't really want to do but said yes because of my fear of hurting him or him leaving me. Obviously, I realised that's very dumb of me and I shouldn't have that mindset.

I know a blog post isn't going to do much, but I haven't come across other posts that outline this stigma and issue and I think it's important to change that and talk about it at least, because it is a real thing.