Headlies: 205 Live Roster To Fight Over Money In The Bank Coin Purse

San Diego, CA – At a locker room meeting with the wrestlers from 205 Live, WWE CEO Vince McMahon announced that they would be participating in their own Money In The Bank Ladder match.

The locker room buzzed with excitement, the possibilities of incredible high spots and daring aerial moves flying through their heads. The Luchadores huddled together immediately while Gentleman Jack Gallagher lovingly embraced his umbrella, William III.

“We wouldn’t want you little fellas feeling left out now would we?” asked McMahon rhetorically while slapping Noam Dar on the back.

“That’s right boys,” said Triple H. “You’ll be fighting for the whole kid’s-size enchilada. This is your chance to win a contract for a Cruiserweight title match at any time. All you have to do is climb the ladder and grab this!”

Triple H reached in to his pocket and removed a tiny coin purse.

“What is that?” asked a squinting Tony Nese.

“It’s a coin purse!” said McMahon proudly. “Perfect for when you need to buy penny candy, ride a trolley, or buy a newspaper.”

“Look, it’s the same thing as the briefcase, just, yknow, you-sized,” said Triple H making a short motion with his hand.

“Plus we get to make all sorts of ‘coin purse’ jokes for the entire year,” said McMahon. “Like ‘Oh! Gran Metalik just got his in the coin purse!’ or ‘Ariya Davari is dipping his coin purse directly in Kalisto’s mouth!’” laughed McMahon uproariously.

“This is a great opportunity for all of you,” said Triple H. “This is your chance to shine and show the WWE Universe what 205 Live is all about!”

Years ago, some wonderful genius vandalised the WWE Light-Heavyweight Championship Wiki page to describe the title as a division for junior high school wrestlers. Christian apparently retired as champion at the age of 14 to concentrate on his exams. It was one of the funniest things I have ever read, and I regret not finding a way to preserve it to this day.

I can just see it – 7 of the 8 competitors to compete announced and as the bell sounds to start the match there are still only 7. Deep into the match all 7 men are wiped out when suddenly a diddley-diddley-diddley-dee tune begins, the crowd groans as two time Gooker of the Year winner Hornswoggle runs to the ring much to NOBODY but Michael Cole’s delight and climbs the ladder to ruin the match and everybody’s night…