I,…. how many thoughts, sentences, motivations, activities in a life, in my life, are centered on or somehow motivated from the me platform? In my last post here, I alluded to the fact that my struggle with awesome in the context of I/me, that Jon Acuff’s book “Start” seemed to be coming from, left me feeling conflicted. It still does, however as I continue to read the book I like it more and more because he does eventually unpack the “awesome” platform to reveal a more selfless enterprise.

In my own musings I may have found a place to be Awesome, I think awesome would be awesome, if awesome was where I/me was so focused on you/ they/ them, that there was no room left to realize that, that focus let awesome be without an intention on me… I think.

Still the question comes to mind, and I hate to beat a dead horse here, or anywhere for that matter, is it possible to have that kind of focus? I know we can have all kinds of situations where we are so intent on the moment that there is no conscious thought of “Me” , in our subconscious however, can we ever truly escape into selflessness?

3 Responses to The Conundrum of Awesome, Continued…

No, actually, I get what you’re saying (but you know that). I don’t know the answer to your question, though. I guess it’s what I’m hoping to understand at least a little better through this break. I’m glad I’m not the only one wrestling with these issues. (But even that gladness is self-centered, probably!)

As for the word “awesome” itself? I get your objection, and you may well be right, but I use “awesome” as slang all the time, because I grew up with it, and, unlike with other words, I don’t feel like I’m taking the name (or attribute) of God in vain. When I was in fourth grade in Christian school, there was a song in this hymnal we sang out of in the mornings, which was called something like “Before Jehovah’s Awful Throne.” Our teacher explained to us that a long time ago, “awful” meant “full of awe” or “awe-inspiring,” and wasn’t a good/bad value judgment. I understood (and, being the word-geek I’ve always been, was genuinely interested in) what she was saying, but I still had a hard time singing that song. (Also, it was sort of musically difficult.) The word “terrible” has similar etymology. Those words have lost their God-meanings SO LONG AGO that I think it’s impossible to get them back. And I think “awesome” is well on its way to sharing a similar fate–except that it ends up having positive connotations instead of negative ones. Which might be a good thing, in the end.

Yes, I end up using it as slang often as well, and then after I kinda feel like a hypocrite… I know it is our heart that God see’s and judges so, I am not feeling like a blatant in your face kind of blasphemer :-). Sometimes I look back over these posts and wonder if maybe I am over-thinking things too? I don’t know, I do know that the deeper I go the less confidence I have, which is I guess, supposed to be a good thing, right?