Wednesday, November 26, 2014

“You look hot!”; “You are beautiful!”; “You became dark like a charcoal!” ;“You look tired!”; “You are such an inspiration!”; “You are too emotional!” “You should smile more often!” “You are timid!”…

These are the varied comments I received, in no particular order, all in a span of less than 48 hours.

And to note that people spat these exclamations on my face, looking in my eyes, following my last blog where I announced not to be a people pleaser anymore, makes me doubt of some boogie-woo conspiracy.

Okay, so I was down with a nasty virus for a week, but none of those who commented on my demeanour bothered to take note because I never sulked and sneezed when I interacted. How much do people know or even care to know before they label you. You are taken at face value! A face they choose to ‘see’.

A few months ago, I would have been paranoid thinking of each of the above statement. Now such words do not flicker a single pore on me. It wasn’t easy getting my nerves to behave. I learnt it the hard way. I was on a roller-coaster of a soul-searching ride for the last eight months, checking out and ticking off people whom I allowed in my space and thoughts – family, friends and colleagues.

I forgave each one and blessed them in turn. [It’s not easy. But it’s so liberating once you force yourself into doing it, though. So make it a habit]

And I’ve chucked most of them out of my system. No matter who they are. Relatives who never acknowledge me; those in sly competition with me; friends who think of me only when I stand before them; those who never appreciate my time and love; colleagues who are manipulative…

A few who demand protocol attention, will receive my plastic smile from a distance.

They are free to call me arrogant, cock-headed or any damn adjective in their chosen vocabulary, but I REFUSE TO BETRAY MYSELF!

Yes, the more you tolerate uncomfortable people and situation in your life, the more you betray yourself!

Sunday, November 9, 2014

I was told by none other but my
daughter because one day I sat doing my work silently…aloof rather… irritated
to be precise… not communicating with the family to be frank. So here I admit!

A woman’s mood is not only hers. Her family members are majority
stakeholders of her private possession. The state of mind of the woman-of-the-house ripples off to affect every single person and object in her home. The husband
gets fuzzy, the kid gets fuzzier and together they begin to rub your already fuzziest
mood. The dishes make noise, the cleaner makes more noise and the roofs scream
back at you!

The best remedy to keep peace at home is to SMILE and say ‘leave
me alone, I need some time to myself’. And close the door again with a SMILE.

Fake that SMILE to begin with.

But beware, restrain it to only a smile. Else, you become a pleaser.

People pleasers are the worst sufferers!

I was a die-hard one, until recently. Currently, I'm one with
measured restraints – as I’m still working hard to eradicate it without a
trace.

The low-side of being a people pleaser, dear friends, is you
will not be valued for what you are. And think about this – if you value
yourself, would you have put yourself in uncomfortable situations to please
others?

However, close or distant the person/people/situation might be, if you are not ‘COMFORTABLE’,
it’s not worth investing time and energy in them/that.

You are the most important person for you!

But yes, you may smile – if it’s person/people, smile at them. If
it’s a situation, smile at yourself.