Donating My Kidney

Giving a stranger my kidney was one of my life's most rewarding experiences.

At age 62 I had the privilege to donate a kidney to a complete stranger. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

A person suffering from kidney failure has three available treatment options: dialysis, a transplanted cadaver kidney or a transplant from a living donor. Dialysis itself is only a temporary solution. While it is certainly true that people can remain on dialysis for many years, it is an extremely time-consuming procedure and is not a cure. The number of available cadaver kidneys falls far short of demand. Here in Israel over 700 people are on the waiting list for a kidney transplant. Obtaining an organ from a live donor is a way to remedy the shortfall.

The kidneys' main task is to filter toxins and remove excess water from the bloodstream. Healthy people have four to five times the kidney capacity needed for this, so even with one remaining kidney there is still plenty of spare function and one can live a perfectly normal life.

Why did God give us two kidneys? So you would have an extra one to donate.

Live donors are generally close family members. In cases of incompatibility or where there are no suitable or available family members the kidney failure sufferer must look elsewhere, often by means of advertising. In this case it is termed an "altruistic" donation.

Two years ago my younger son told me about Rabbi Avraham Ravitz zt"l, a member of the Knesset who needed a kidney. All 12 of his children volunteered to donate, and Rabbi Ravitz subsequently promoted a law in the Knesset designed to encourage kidney donations in Israel. I started researching the issue and discovered Chaya Lipschutz and her marvelous website, KidneyMitzvah.com. Chaya is an altruistic kidney donor who now voluntarily tries to help as many people as possible, of all races and religions, who are in need of a kidney. She is what you'd call a "kidney matchmaker," facilitating quite another type of shidduch.

I also came across a great article on Aish.com written by Lori Palatnik, another altruistic kidney donor (through a match made by Chaya Lipschutz). Lori made me feel that I was somehow losing out if I could not donate. She writes:

God runs the world, and when presented with a mitzvah, an opportunity to save someone's life, grab it. It may not come again. To hold back and live in a world of "What if...?" could cost lives… How can I not give away my kidney, just because it's for someone I don't know? Somebody knows them. They are someone's wife, sister, friend and daughter.

For me personally, to say it was a special time is an understatement. I was scared, which is normal, but the Almighty held my hand every step of the way, encouraging me and coaxing me at this unique opportunity…. I have never felt this kind of joy before. How wonderful that the Almighty gave me a spare kidney, so I could relish this incredible experience. The connection I've had with God these past few months is something to strive for the rest of my life. I had pushed through my fears and anxieties and placed my trust in the Almighty. I gave the gift of life, and got an equally tremendous gift in return.

Having type A blood, I learned that I had a 70% chance that I could be a compatible donor to a fellow group A.

The Search Is On

I contacted Chaya Lipschutz by email. She asked me a few questions and told me that my BMI should be under 30 and that I should lose weight. Based in the United States, she did not at that time know of anyone suitable for me in Israel. In the meantime our rabbi (Rabbi Dovid Stein of Kehillat Beit Chatam in Rehovot) told me that although I was under no obligation to do so, it is a very big mitzvah. I was hooked on the idea.

It is a very big mitzvah. I was hooked on the idea.

I started losing weight and looked periodically in Yated Ne'eman, a religious Hebrew newspaper that in the past had adverts placed by people looking for a kidney donor. Of course when you look for something you don't find it. All the adverts were for the wrong blood group or specified only up to age 45. Then one day last summer I saw that a young man needed a kidney, blood group A or O, no age limit stated! The contact information was for an organization I had never heard of: Matnat Chaim – Gift of Life. The organization was founded by Rabbi Avraham Yeshayahu Heber, a remarkable man who received a kidney two years previously and now spends all his time and energy (when not teaching in yeshiva) trying to make matches for other people. I was to become his 48th "altruistic" donor.

Due to the passing of my mother, of blessed memory, and the subsequent holidays, it took me a few months finally to make the call. Rabbi Heber told me that they had found a donor for the young man, but he had so many other people on his list. If I was still interested, I should do some initial basic blood and urine work and a pelvic ultrasound, and then get back to him. He would in the meantime see for whom on his list I would be most suitable.

During subsequent conversations Rabbi Heber suggested that I be tested for two sisters, both in their 40's, both on dialysis, both mothers of large families. The results of my pelvic ultrasound were somewhat problematic, and Rabbi Heber's medical advisors advised me to do more investigations before continuing. These further tests thank God came back fine, and finally one day Rabbi Heber informed me that I had an appointment for compatibility testing at Beilinson Hospital, in Petach Tikva, where 70% of all the transplants are performed in Israel.

Early one morning last Chanukah five women met in the outpatient department of Beilinson Hospital – the two delightful sisters, their mother (a charming lady just slightly older than myself), another potential kidney donor (a most special lady who has since become a friend) and myself. We discovered that we had so much in common – we were all English-speaking, all immigrants, all religious. I felt some kind of magic in the air. The mother emailed me afterwards: "I think that yesterday morning was very special. There was a marvelous 'chemistry' in the relationships and for us it was a significant experience. Somehow, I feel that we are finally on our way and that we are not alone."

After blood was drawn for cross-matching and tissue-matching, we all trooped up to the Department of Transplantation where both potential donors and potential recipients had to meet separately with the transplantation coordinator and with the doctor who heads up the kidney transplant service. Now officially entered into the system as a potential kidney donor, I was given lists of more tests and investigations. If you successfully perform a whole bunch of tests, you "graduate" to more expensive and difficult ones. If any test comes back with an issue (e.g. a number outwith the normal range), then that has to be separately followed-up and investigated. This happened to me four times.

When the compatibility tests came back it turned out that I was a match for the younger sister, aged 42, a mother of nine children, whom I'll call Aviva. Aviva had endured five years of three-times-a-week dialysis, three hours each time. So now I knew the brave woman for whom I was carrying out all these tests! My fellow donor proved to be a match for the older sister.

Why Do You Want to Do This?

In America a prospective donor is generally interviewed by a psychologist, social worker or psychiatrist. In Israel I was sent to all three! The psychologist performed a full psychological examination with ink-blot tests and with a variety of other psycho-diagnostic instruments. For all these interviews (except with the psychologist) the unfortunate potential recipient also has to turn up, be separately interviewed and produce all the necessary papers.

The atmosphere was reminiscent of a court room with me on trial.

Aviva and I were summoned to appear before the Transplantation Committee of the Ministry of Health. It was quite an ordeal. After a long wait I was called and told that it is forbidden to take anything with me into the committee room, with the exception of the original advert which they had told me to bring along. I was ushered into a room containing an enormous table surrounded by several strangers who all introduced themselves – a medical professor, a psychologist, a social worker, a lawyer, a representative of the Ministry of Health, a representative of the public, and others I don’t recall, and all in the presence of a stenographer taking down every last word. They each had a thick file before them, presumably containing all the results of my myriad investigations and assessments. The atmosphere was reminiscent of a court room with me on trial.

The professor was the chairman and he adopted an aggressive approach. Why do you want to do this? It doesn't make sense! I just don't understand! Then they all took turns firing questions at me. They all kept referring to my age and the number of my grandchildren as if no one of my age or with my quota of grandchildren should even be thinking of doing such a thing. Rabbi Heber had advised me to remain firm and betray no uncertainty, and that is what I tried to do.

Shortly before the transplant I met Dr. Evgeny Solomonov, the surgeon. He explained to me the entire procedure and I have great gratitude to this doctor for his surgical skills that undoubtedly contributed to my swift and almost painless recovery.

Two weeks after Purim we finally got the clearance from the Ministry of Health, and a date was set for the following week, which was just one week before Passover. We had to go in to the hospital on the Saturday evening. Just before my husband and I left home, our rabbi came and gave me a beautiful blessing. He also told me that he knew we had been keeping the potential transplant confidential, but he advised me that afterwards I should talk about it freely so that others might be encouraged to follow my example.

Surgery

Sunday afternoon Aviva and all the nurses gave me a great send-off from the ward. I had requested that I be given sedation before going into the O.R. and I was very grateful for that. My husband, who accompanied me as far as the door of the O.R., looked as if he too could do with some sedation. Aviva was due to go down later and was supposed to be anesthetized in an adjoining O.R. to await direct transfer of my kidney. But my own surgery went so smoothly and quickly that Aviva was still in the ward when she was called. She later told me that they literally ran with her on her bed to the elevator, down to the O.R.

"It must be working – without dialysis I would be crawling on the floor by now."

When I woke up I felt great and had no pain; apparently they leave slow-release anesthetic inside which lasts for two days. My husband was with me when I was later taken back to the ward. In the evening my older son came and spent the night and next day looking after me as my husband had to go to work (and my daughters were busy preparing for Passover). After spending the night in the recovery room, Aviva was brought back up the next day and we shared a room until my release on Wednesday. For the first day or so there was some concern if the transplanted kidney was working properly, but on Wednesday morning, as we awaited the results of more tests, Aviva turned to me and said: "It must be working – I last had dialysis on Sunday morning and normally without dialysis I would be crawling on the floor by now." Indeed the blood tests later showed that her creatinine, the key marker of kidney function, was way down, approaching normal levels.

Writing this four weeks later, Aviva was released from the hospital in time for Seder. She has not needed any further dialysis and God willing she will remain in good health for many years to come. She phones me periodically to report on her progress and to hear how I am doing; her mother says we have become extended family.

The saga has been a most amazing experience for me – of a similar level of joy and wonder as giving birth. I prayed throughout that I would have the merit to pass all the hurdles and to be allowed to be a kidney donor; I am just so grateful to the Almighty that I was indeed able to do this mitzvah.

A postscript: The other day my older daughter phoned me and told me she had just had a most unusual dream. She dreamed that I had told her that I was about to donate a chamber of my heart! She said it was too soon after the kidney surgery, and I said that's no problem – I can recuperate from both surgeries together. My daughter was very worried because this was all taking place within one day including the Ministry of Health hearing and she knew that for the kidney transplant I had researched the issue for months.

When Aviva heard the above story she said to me that I really did give her a piece of my heart.

About the Author

Visitor Comments: 21

(20)
Anonymous,
June 9, 2011 7:44 AM

Kidney donors needed in Israel - phone Rabbi Heber!

Hundreds of unfortunate people here in Israel are attached to dialysis machines several times a week, and the only escape for them is a transplant. They are waiting for, longing for, a donor. YOU could be that donor. There is for example "Etti", whose children are waiting for her at home, and when she comes home she has no energy to care for them. There is "Avi", a young avrech who just now had his first born child and heard the news while attached to the dialysis machine….and there are so many more, and their stories can break your heart. They have all the different blood groups (A, B, AB and O) and so everyone can be a match for someone. If you are healthy, and live in Israel, and are interested in donating, please phone the "kidney shadchan", Rabbi Heber of the organization Matnat Chaim, at 050-4117014 and /or see his website: kilya.org.il.

(19)
Esther,
May 26, 2011 4:02 PM

inspired by article

I was so moved by your article. Nearly two years ago I was introduced to a young man whose been on dialysis for over fifteen years ( I believe the life span on dialysis is about nine generally speaking...) . He lived by us till very recently while constantly pursuing his search for an O donor. It's been a heartbreak to see him try to roll with the punches, and keep the faith, as the various few leads he's had have failed to materialize. Chaya Liphschuts has been one of those who are actively trying to find him a kidney. Hopefeully your beautiful article will inspire others to donate.

(18)
chana brocha soto,
May 19, 2011 12:22 AM

donating kidney

Im in mexico and i would like to donate to a jew
if anyone knows of any leads please let me know

Chaya Lipschutz,
May 24, 2011 8:07 AM

Contact me, even if you are in Mexico!

Hi! Great you want to donate a kidney! Please contact me at KidneyMitzvah@aol.com
I might be able to match you up with someone who needs a kidney. Thanks!

(17)
Arthur Rubenstein,
May 17, 2011 10:17 PM

Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
What a wonderful way to show our gratitude to Hashem for all the blessings He has bestowed on our families and ourselves.
With kindest regards to you and all your family,
Arthur Rubenstein

(16)
Anonymous,
May 17, 2011 9:05 PM

I've joined the club.

I have donated my spare kidney to my wife. It is a worthwhile experiance and I shocked the surgeon by also suggesting they harvest some of my liver as an secret donor. The most difficult part was reducing my bmi down to 30 but I am better for it.
My wife is doing well and I am humbled by the support we both get. For others the donation is a big deal for me it is no big deal and I am no more disadvantaged than the cutting a nail or some hair.
On a recent biopsy I accompanied my wife. She received pain killers but the doc did not immediately understand my humour when I said "ouch" as the needle went into my origional kidney.

(15)
Anonymous,
May 17, 2011 5:20 AM

G-d bless all the donors !

I cried as I read this article. My mother was on waiting list for kidney transplant for 10 years. She was slowly giving up life. Thank g-d for ( Cadveric donor) who rescued her LIFE . I wish there was anyway to thank the family . My mother's life compeletly changed for better. It is a gift that one nerver forgets and always carries in heart. G-d BLESS all who donate .

(14)
David Koster,
May 17, 2011 1:13 AM

I am a kidney donor

On June 25, 2003, I had the extreme honor of donating one of my kidneys to a total stranger. We are now "blood brothers" as my receipent refers to us. It was a most wonderful experience!!! I gave a man LIFE!! And Baruch Hashem, I have convinced several others to give one of their kidneys to someone in need. If you are on dialysis or you know someone who is, please contact me. I may be able to, imyirzeh HaShem, help them. My name is David Koster and my number is 718-854-7789. Please leave your name and number if I am not home please leave a message. I will return your call. I spoke at a seminar on this subject in Atlanta, Georgia this past January. If you would like to hear my presentation go to www.torahmediaatlanta.com. Click on the "Topics" tab. Then click on the "kidney transplant'' tab. I think that you will like what you hear.

(13)
Anonymous,
May 16, 2011 12:04 PM

G-d bless all doners

My late husband received a cadaver kidney that lasted 24 years. On September 11, 2010 my middle son also received a cadaver kidney. My oldest son will be going on the transplant list in a few months.
G-d bless all doners, living or deceased.
I wish we could thank the families of our donors.
I pray that G-d continues to be good to my family.

(12)
cy,
May 16, 2011 10:08 AM

kidney donation

I'd love to donate a kidney, but I live in Australia and noone seems to do what Chaya does here. Very inspiring article.

(11)
Carol,
May 16, 2011 4:08 AM

Bless You

36 years ago last March I received a cadveric kidney transplant. I will never be able to thank my donor and although I've tried I have been unable to find out anything about the person who gave me this miracle gift; because of which I have led a full and rewarding life. For all of those out there like me- Thank you for your own miracle gift and for bringing attention to this issue!

(10)
Anonymous,
May 16, 2011 3:15 AM

I totally understand.

Beautiful gift. I know this personally.

(9)
a yid,
May 15, 2011 11:54 PM

kidney

I am also a kidney donor.Ii gave mine to a woman 1 months ago. I have 1 and only 1 regret. I regret that I dont have another one to give.

(8)
Beverly Kurtin,
May 15, 2011 9:59 PM

What a mitzvah!

Thank you for sharing not just your story but for also sharing YOU and your incredible courage. To know that another person is living because of your generous gift. I send a big hug to you both.

(7)
Lisa,
May 15, 2011 8:31 PM

The Best Part

Yes, there is a feeling of wonder and gratitude on giving a kidney, a feeling that perhaps you moved the world just a little closer to the geulah. But the thing that made it all worthwhile for me was when my daughter said, "Mom, you're raising the bar awfully high!"

Dr. Stuart Greenstein, Shomer Shabbos kidney transplant surgeon from Montefiore Medical Center, NY (where I & Lori Palatnik donated a kidney), says:
"Just think people have no problem having only one kidney, so we have to ask, why did Hashem give us two kidneys? Perhaps it is so you would have an extra one to donate and save a life!"

(5)
Chaya Lipschutz,
May 15, 2011 6:59 PM

In the USA & want to donate a kidney? Please contact me!

If you are anywhere in the USA and considering kidney donation, you are desperately needed! I am in touch with many people in the USA who are in desperate need of a kidney. Please contact me, asap. I have made numerous kidney matches in the USA & Israel. My e-mail adddress is KidneyMitzvah@aol.com

(4)
Chaya Lipschutz,
May 15, 2011 6:54 PM

I am also the person who made Lori Palatnik's match

First, Judith, great article! I am so proud of you!!! I have told others that they needed to lose weight before donating a kidney and most don't. Anyhow - this wonderful article will hopefully inspire others to donate a kidney! I hope people reading this will come forward! Kol Hakovod!

(3)
Marci Rapp, MarSea Modest Swimwear,
May 15, 2011 3:20 PM

I too will be donating my kidney.

Way to go girl! B"H your donation went smoothly and you recovered easily and quickly. My kidney donation was supposed to be this week, but complications have made it necessary to push it off IY"H till next week. Your memoirs should be an encouragement for others to also become a live kidney donor and save a Jewish life. Marci Rapp, MarSea Modest Swimwear, Jerusalem,

I just got married and have an important question: Can we eat rice on Passover? My wife grew up eating it, and I did not. Is this just a matter of family tradition?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chametz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chametz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. Chametz is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Hence the category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chametz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

Products of kitniyot often appear like chametz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chametz). Also, chametz grains may become inadvertently mixed together with kitniyot. Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot were prohibited.

In Jewish law, there is one important distinction between chametz and kitniyot. During Passover, it is forbidden to even have chametz in one's possession (hence the custom of "selling chametz"). Whereas it is permitted to own kitniyot during Passover and even to use it - not for eating - but for things like baby powder which contains cornstarch. Similarly, someone who is sick is allowed to take medicine containing kitniyot.

What about derivatives of kitniyot - e.g. corn oil, peanut oil, etc? This is a difference of opinion. Many will use kitniyot-based oils on Passover, while others are strict and only use olive or walnut oil.

Finally, there is one product called "quinoa" (pronounced "ken-wah" or "kin-o-ah") that is permitted on Passover even for Ashkenazim. Although it resembles a grain, it is technically a grass, and was never included in the prohibition against kitniyot. It is prepared like rice and has a very high protein content. (It's excellent in "cholent" stew!) In the United States and elsewhere, mainstream kosher supervision agencies certify it "Kosher for Passover" -- look for the label.

Interestingly, the Sefardi Jewish community does not have a prohibition against kitniyot. This creates the strange situation, for example, where one family could be eating rice on Passover - when their neighbors will not. So am I going to guess here that you are Ashkenazi and your wife is Sefardi. Am I right?

Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Moses ben Nachman (1194-1270), known as Nachmanides, and by the acronym of his name, Ramban. Born in Spain, he was a physician by trade, but was best-known for authoring brilliant commentaries on the Bible, Talmud, and philosophy. In 1263, King James of Spain authorized a disputation (religious debate) between Nachmanides and a Jewish convert to Christianity, Pablo Christiani. Nachmanides reluctantly agreed to take part, only after being assured by the king that he would have full freedom of expression. Nachmanides won the debate, which earned the king's respect and a prize of 300 gold coins. But this incensed the Church: Nachmanides was charged with blasphemy and he was forced to flee Spain. So at age 72, Nachmanides moved to Jerusalem. He was struck by the desolation in the Holy City -- there were so few Jews that he could not even find a minyan to pray. Nachmanides immediately set about rebuilding the Jewish community. The Ramban Synagogue stands today in Jerusalem's Old City, a living testimony to his efforts.

It's easy to be intimidated by mean people. See through their mask. Underneath is an insecure and unhappy person. They are alienated from others because they are alienated from themselves.

Have compassion for them. Not pity, not condemning, not fear, but compassion. Feel for their suffering. Identify with their core humanity. You might be able to influence them for the good. You might not. Either way your compassion frees you from their destructiveness. And if you would like to help them change, compassion gives you a chance to succeed.

It is the nature of a person to be influenced by his fellows and comrades (Rambam, Hil. De'os 6:1).

We can never escape the influence of our environment. Our life-style impacts upon us and, as if by osmosis, penetrates our skin and becomes part of us.

Our environment today is thoroughly computerized. Computer intelligence is no longer a science-fiction fantasy, but an everyday occurrence. Some computers can even carry out complete interviews. The computer asks questions, receives answers, interprets these answers, and uses its newly acquired information to ask new questions.

Still, while computers may be able to think, they cannot feel. The uniqueness of human beings is therefore no longer in their intellect, but in their emotions.

We must be extremely careful not to allow ourselves to become human computers that are devoid of feelings. Our culture is in danger of losing this essential aspect of humanity, remaining only with intellect. Because we communicate so much with unfeeling computers, we are in danger of becoming disconnected from our own feelings and oblivious to the feelings of others.

As we check in at our jobs, and the computer on our desk greets us with, "Good morning, Mr. Smith. Today is Wednesday, and here is the agenda for today," let us remember that this machine may indeed be brilliant, but it cannot laugh or cry. It cannot be happy if we succeed, or sad if we fail.

Today I shall...

try to remain a human being in every way - by keeping in touch with my own feelings and being sensitive to the feelings of others.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...