This New Bill Would Allow The Perpetually Single To Be Buried With Their Pets

It has recently come to my attention that I might be unknowingly dating my dog. We eat together, we snuggle together, we go on long walks, and she gets crazy jealous when there’s a male presence in my bed. The only reason we’re not Facebook official is because she lacks opposable thumbs and the ability to ask me to be exclusive. That, and her questionable hygiene.

But she doesn’t need to worry about labels, because now my special pooch and I can be together in the afterlife. The New York Senate recently passed a bill that would allow people to be buried with the cremated remains of their pets. The only catch is that the burials have to take place at the same time, which means you have to hang on to your dead dog’s ashes for the rest of your life. No problem there. I plan to build a shrine when my furry pal passes through the gates and into doggy heaven.

This whole ordeal is pretty weird when you think about it, but apparently not uncommon. Cemetery organizations are receiving more and more requests from lot owners who want to have their pets buried with them. The bill’s sponsor noted that 62 percent of US households include a pet, which could account for such bizarre requests. That, or America is filled with a lot of sad, lonely people.

Regardless, this is good news for the crazy cat lady in your life. Now you can tell everyone to lay off the jokes, because as it turns out, she doesn’t actually need a man. Who needs a husband when you can share a plot with Fluffy?

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Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.