Thursday, May 17, 2007

When I use my stairmaster at the gym I can't help but look at one of the 20 televisions strategically positioned to distract us from our cardio torture. One third of them are always fixed to Cable News, and the volume is always turned off. Quite often I find myself drawn into CNN reporting on the tragedy-du-jour, but it's not the car crash/Iraq blast/child kidnapping that rouses my attention. I find myself hypnotized by the botttle blonde minx reading the news. I could care less about how long little Billy has been trapped in that abandoned well, as long as they cut back to the studio so I can see those perfect, muted, glossy red lips mouthing today's Fallujah body count.

The Daily Show's Samanta Bee (photo top left) probes the emergence of Cable News' uber-sultry newswomen (photo below). Total genius. Their writers are so sharp they could cut an atom in half.

WAGS: Crummy Politicians List

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I'm a former male model with degrees in philosophy and martial arts. I left the seminary to spread the word of truth to the infidels (the other ones). I frequently mix Vodka, Cialis, Viarga and Paxil to control my overzealous love of mankind.