Friends and Groups may attend at your discretion or you may go it in private.
It's your wedding.

You can even take vows together, but you would not be marrying each other.
It would just be noisy.
Fun, tender, spirited, but noisy. And that's fine too.
It's your wedding.

It's kitschy and celebratory, but honestly, there is power in the vows.

Once you fill out the vows, you'll realized that you deserve as much love, support and discipline as you give and expect from others. Or not, and maybe you have work ahead of you. Or maybe it's just fun food for thought. We encourage thoughts.

Take your vows home as a personal contract.

It's all you, baby. We're just here to encourage you.

P H I L O S O P H Y

Some
things
to
think
about...

Are you ready to marry yourself?

WHO?
YOU! ... JUST YOU.
Two people marrying each other is often a marriage of families, regardless of economic background. When you marry yourself, it's just between you and you. Your left and right brain. You can invite friends and family to your sacred ritual, but since you are both bride and groom, you don't have to worry about politics. You can, if you like, create a wishlist or registry if you need some Calphalon pans or a bread machine after your nuptials. At least your friends know who will keep their gift if you break up. And I'm here to tell you that you really have no choice but to work through the hard times. Your vows will be etched in your soul until death do you part.

HIGHS AND LOWS
What you will encounter is your own depths and your own glass ceilings. You might encounter old bugaboos like the age-old question, "Would you marry you, knowing what you do?"
This is where it gets interesting and your vows are key to the experience. Choose wisely.

THE POWER IS YOURS
Some people are living a life that is fully committed to the kind of happiness that inherently breeds solid relationships with other people. This is different than simply being committed to other people. You can do that too, but only after you've gotten serious about who you are, what you want, and what you are convinced you deserve.

This is the work after the ceremony. If monogamy makes you feel that you are missing out on life, then you are coming from a place of lack. When you are whole, then anybody else you connect with is a partner on your journey, an enhancement to your life. The self-wedding ceremony is meant to spur you forth into this journey.

YOU WILL CHANGE AND THAT'S OKAY
Your choices about what is acceptable, perfect or joyous may change, but the point is to give it all some thought. You're not an oarless boat unless you want to be. Apathy is also a choice.

ALLURE
Married people are confident and alluring to others. Marrying yourself is about making considered choices and sticking to them with integrity. I have cheated on myself many times but I am still together and going strong. Integrity is difficult because it requires more than self-policing. It is about permanent internal change and evolution.

DAY ONE
Any wedding is just "day one" of your marriage. Be okay with failing some days and you'll drive yourself less crazy if you are the worrying kind. If you are already married or are thinking of marrying another person in the traditional sense, you are not cheating. The core idea is to free your relationships from neediness. I like to think of life as a vehicle that I drive, and my friends, family and partners are my passengers not hijackers. Let's make it a good trip.

I'm also convinced that even kitschy, arty steps toward self-realization relieve stress and are therefore good for your skin.

Ready?

Performance Credits

'Til Death Do You Part - Marry Yourself!
is performed for private events and also publicly.

The Lost Horizon Night Market - Special thanks to Mark and Kevin. Warm, yummy fuzzies to the Host-Guides Christine "Ammo" O'Day and (double-dutying as interior designer) Alexander Lyle and the angel, Ppn.

The Spill Festival / Visions of Excess
at The Shunt Vaults in London
Host-Guide Geordi Blake
Special Thanks to Nicole Blackman, Bernadette Louise
Ron Athey, Lee Adams, and of course Robert Pacitti, with Estelle & Jen from Pacitti Co.
SetUp help: Nao + the sexy boy whose name escaped us forever

Endless Night Festival at The House of Blues, New Orleans
Special Thanks to Father Sebastiaan and my lovely host-guide Zalia Beville

House of Collection - Brooklyn, NY
Before there were host-guides there was Amber Ray who showed up as a human bouquet and decided to help in such a way as to invent the host-guide concept. I still wear her swarovski flowers in my priestess garb. Velocity Chyaldd was the first-ever participant who walked me through the first ceremony, and cemented the concept of repeating the vows into the mirror.
Special thanks to Paige Stevenson and Ahnika Delerium
whose home makes much magic in this world.