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Cars line to enter the already packed parking lot. The sun is bright and hot but it hasn’t detoured the saints from coming. People are already standing at the doors waiting to enter the sanctuary and the women fan themselves as the men wipe sweat from their brow.

Music can be heard sifting through the rafters and seeping through the walls. The vibration can almost be felt in their feet as the excitement grows.

Suddenly the doors are thrown open and thousands rush to find a seat. The music reverberates through the room and hands have already started to clap, bodies are dancing between the rows of seats, and others are doing little jigs as they walk down the isles.

The music softens just a bit and through the loud speakers, as the stragglers search for a seat, a voice roars, “Are you ready to worship the Lord?” The crowd roars, “Yes,” and the drums, guitars, and key board roars over the crowd.

Praise songs are sung, the music is ear-bursting loud, but nobody complains as they dance at their seats, raise their hands high in the air, and give the Lord their praises through the words of the songs.

The Man isn’t seen but He’s watching and listening.

The devil runs as the room is filled with His glory.

The drums quiet, the keyboard softens, and the voices fill the room in hushed reverence. Tears are filling eyes, heads are bowed, and the sound of “Holy is our Lord God Almighty,” is being sung softly.

A Wind blows across the room and suddenly the heavens are opened. Standing before the King is a choir of thousands and their voices are joining with the saints in this room.

Shekinah glory fills the room. Heavenly light flows through the room. Some fall under the Power, they cannot stand, and yet they worship.

As the song ends, Jehovah Elyon’s eye’s fill with tears of love and joy.

I don’t think there is a human being alive that hasn’t questioned the reason we humans suffer. Many have given the very simplistic answer that, “Well, it’s just God’s will.” Others go into all sorts of long exasperating explanations that make no more sense than the simplistic answer.

Can any of us ever really understand why we humans suffer? I don’t think so! God is so far above us in all aspects that there are just some things that we will never fully understand until we are standing before Him and He’s explaining some of it to us. Personally I like the idea that I have all of eternity to question Him.

I am no different from someone else who questions why did my husband die in the prime of his life? Or why do children suffer abuse from the hands of those who are supposed to love them? Or why did so and so die after I prayed fervently healing over them? Why did this happen or that happen? We all have questions and there seems to be no satisfying answer coming. Yes, some will turn their suffering into bitterness and turn from God. Others, that truly are close to the Lord and more mature in their faith may find strength through their suffering. We all react to suffering in various ways.

Well, today I got an answer that has encouraged me and has helped me to better understand what all this suffering is about. It came from the Holy Spirit and I hope it can be an encouragement to you, the reader as well. It has certainly shed new light and has given me a new perspective on why we suffer.

We have to think about God’s glory. Isn’t that what all of this Christianity stuff is about? Doing, praising, worshipping, all for His glory? God’s glory is so far above anything we can even imagine! Our lives on this earth in no way can come close to His glory. There is absolutely nothing that we suffer that can come close in comparison to His glory. No matter what has been done to us, no matter what hurt we have suffered, no matter what physical, emotional, financial, or even spiritual pain we have gone through or will go through comes remotely near His phenomenal and awesome glory.

We are like a baby in the womb. That baby struggles to live. It fights for every breath, it kicks, stomps, and maybe even screams and cries. It fights for life and waits and struggles for the day it will be expelled from the present world it is in. We’re like that baby in the womb fighting the umbilical cord waiting to be expelled from this our temporary home. We struggle daily, we suffer in a variety of ways, and we fight, sometimes for just the next breath, to make it the end.

The day we take our last breath and leave this earth is our birth. All this time on earth is as though we are in the womb. Suddenly we take our last breath and are expelled from our temporary world into the full glory of the Lord. ALL of His glory is within us, around us, above us and beneath us. We are encapsulated in glory!

That is what all this suffering is about! It is our time of preparation for the day we will be born into the full glory of God. Our suffering is over. No more tears, no more sorrows. Only the full and complete awesome glory of our Almighty God is now our new home. We have left the womb of suffering, heartaches, and sorrow and Jesus says, “Welcome home.”

Some of the ladies from my support group and I decide to go on a retreat at the lake. We rent a small fishing boat, nothing fancy or anything like a ship. We row our sun tanned selves out to sea as we sing row, row, row your boat and enjoy the warmth of the sun. Kicked back and relaxing on the smooth blue water the wind begins to pick up.

In a very short time waves start slapping the sides of our boat. The four of us sit wondering, “What’s going on? It was smooth just a few minutes ago.” One lady looks at me, then another. After all I am the facilitator of the group and don’t I have all the answers? The waves begin to get larger. The wind picks up even more.

We sit a little closer to each other but no one says the dreaded words, “I’m scared.” Water starts splashing over the sides. The boat rocks and is getting tossed about. Hands cling to the sides with white-knuckled death grips.

As I sit there wondering what to do I look out over the expanse of the water. Off in the distance I see what I think is a man. A man, out here? I must be hallucinating! I guess I’m not, for the man comes closer. Oh my gosh, I am hallucinating! He’s not swimming out here to save us, He’s walking on TOP of the water! The others have now seen Him, too.

The four of us huddle together. We’re scared more of this “ghost” than we are of drowning. I try to reassure the others, “Don’t be afraid, it’ll be over soon. We’ll all jump overboard before it gets here.” Arms squeezing each other, a death grip, clinging together, we watch as the “ghost” gets closer and closer. “On the count of three we all stand up and jump,” I whisper. Our eyes are riveted to the figure that’s slowly strolling across the water, like He’s taking a stroll in the park on a sunny day, the figure approaches.

Suddenly realization smacks my brain. “This isn’t a ghost! We don’t have to jump to our deaths! It’s Jesus ladies! Hip hip hurrah. Three cheers for the Lord,” I shout. Not thinking we could tip the boat in a split second, we all stand up. Some look closer to make sure I’m not playing some game with their minds. Jesus comes closer and says, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” (v.27)

With a huge sigh of relief we all settle down. As the wind dies down frowns and tears turn to sighs of relief. But, I still have some doubts. I mean okay I’m sure this has to be Jesus. After all nobody I know can walk across the top of water. “If You’re REALLY Jesus, tell me to come to you, on TOP of the water”, I say in a cocky voice. Jesus just looks at me like, no problem. “Come!” is all He says.

Without hesitation, we four put our heads together. “Are you going to get out of this boat?” one asks me in a whisper while sneaking a peek at Jesus. Glancing over my shoulder, then turning back to the others, “Do you think I should? I mean, He is Jesus!” Another whispers,”You can trust Him, I think.”

Jesus stands waiting patiently while I make my decision. He knows this is a tough request because He also knows my past. Christ doesn’t say, “Oh come on! Don’t be a chicken.” He just waits. Standing there right on top of the water like it’s no big deal.

Christ has no doubts, but I do! Glancing at Him then looking to the ladies I bravely state, “Okay, but wait a minute. I have to fix my hair. I’ll get a shower cap or something just in case I sink. I don’t want to get my hair wet.”

Jesus waits. I scrounge around the bottom of the boat and finally find a swim cap and pull it on over my head. My mind starts racing. He wants me to get out of this boat! That’s deep water out there! Is He nuts or what? Standing in the middle of the boat I suddenly feel a tug on my T-shirt. One of the ladies says, “Maybe you shouldn’t do this.” I look back at Jesus. “Are you sure this is what You want me to do?” I ask Him. With a smile that could melt butter He looks at me and never says a word but I can tell what He’s thinking, “You don’t trust Me. You think I’m going to ask you to do something that will hurt you.”

Hesitantly stepping to the edge I place my hands on the boats rim and pick up my right foot to swing it over the edge. I stop. “Maybe I need some make-up. After all, He is good-looking.” With a quick, “Just a sec,” I jerk my foot back into the boat. Rummaging around again I find a tube of lipstick and quickly slather my lips.

Some may find this quite odd but we survivors are always ready for the unexpected. We learned to be prepared and cautious and not to trust just anyone because we never knew who or what was lurking around the corner or would show up in the dark. But lipstick?

Jesus waits. He doesn’t sneer. He doesn’t tap His foot making little splashing sounds. He smiles and waits with the patience of Job, and waits. My mind races. Maybe I better find a float. What if a fish swallows me? I wonder if there are sharks out here. I glance back at the Man on the water. “Should I really trust this Guy?”

Finally I gulp and take a deep breath and place one leg over the edge of the boat. “Oh jeeeeez this water is cold!” Bravely I tug at my shorts, take another breath and slowly sit on the edge with both feet touching the water. I hear a whispered, “The fool’s going to drown.” I slowly stand and woe, I’m standing on top of the water!”

All eyes are on me. Intensely I look at Jesus and think, This is cool but I must be nuts! Cautiously placing one foot in front of the other I take cautious steps and suddenly shout, “Hey, I’m walking on water!” Taking more cautious steps I keep my eyes on Jesus. With a little more confidence I get a little spring in my step. Smiling, Jesus is four or five feet in front of me. Love and patience glows across His face.

Wanting to tip-toe and maybe do a little dance I feel wonderful! Keeping my eyes glued to Jesus I feel like this is the greatest thing I’ve ever done but suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see wind coming across the lake and it’s headed straight for me.

Fear grips my belly. I’m not sure what to do. Just for an instant I look toward the wind and in that split second down I go! The cold water engulfs me up to my waist and my face is a picture of terror. I hear the loud gasps from the others in the boat. My eyes are the size of meat platters and I scream, “Lord, save me!”

The words no sooner leave my lips and Christ reaches His hand out to me. “You of little faith,” He said, “Why did you doubt?” (v.31) He helps me to climb back in the boat and the ladies begin to worship Him. I am safe. We are safe. Jesus is here. We all bow our heads in prayer. “Thank you Lord that You are the One we can trust and look to for all of our needs.”

As the little fishing boat gently glides to the shore we continue to praise and worship Jesus. People are gathered cheering and waving as we approach the shore. We each disembark and without a moment’s hesitation begin telling all those we can about how Christ saved us.

Over the years many have watched, listened, and prayed within the sanctuaries of our churches. Many have visited just about every denomination of church in the Christian religion. Many have sat in the pews with people surrounding them and listened to pastor’s give the Word of God and yet felt as though the words came across hollow, empty, and dead.

Many joined a church to hear God’s truth, to be accepted, loved, and to be a part of God’s family only to be left in silence as the “click’s” gathered in their groups around the room talking and laughing. Standing to the side our heart hurts because we’re not a part of their elite little group.

Some of us have walked toward the front and seen the pastor smile but noticed his eyes don’t show the love of Christ. Some of us have experienced a counselor that sat in front of us asking his/her questions that leave us dull and numb. The words that are to encourage and lift us out of the depths of hell that we feel we’re in are more condemning than uplifting. The scriptures quoted are used as bats against our fragile psych.

It’s confusing because we thought the Lord said this was the church He wanted us to be in but the rejection, the false teachings, or the compromising of God’s Word to suit the needs of the pastor are going against the grain of what some of us was taught. So we leave only to visit yet another church and another and another only to find much the same.

Todays teaching of the gospel isn’t what we remembered from our growing up years. That is if we grew up in church. We’ve watched and witnessed people who shun the poor and those people that shout “praise God” and turn to add to the whispers of gossip while they quickly wipe the smile off their face. We’ve had some who walk away when we smile and our “hello” sticks in our throat. Noses are turned up because our clothes don’t come up to their standard. Some of us have found ourselves swallowed up in a sea of humanity in the mega churches only to have warm fuzzies tickle our ears, sin is forgotten or excused. We finally move on, another church, another congregation and each time we leave feeling dirtier than when we walked in or disillusuioned about what all this Christianity is about. Some never return.

Thankfully there are still a few that have found that church family that is loving, caring, and accept us, with a pastor who preaches God’s Word in love, who isn’t afraid to address the issues of our time and bring forth the truth from scriptures. Thankfully we can know that God, through Christ, is faithful and will lead us to what we need.

“What are you looking for?” the Lord asks. In Our heart we want to be accepted, we want to feel the love of other believers who love God and His Son, who will listen and pray and be there as an encouragement. We want to hear God’s truth and to do God’s will. We want to feel as though we are a part of the family of God.

When the Lord asked me that my reply was, “Todays church is lacking.” “I know” the Lord whispers with tears misty in His eyes. “But what do I do?” I asked. The Lord ran His hand across His beard and stood looking at me for a long silent moment. I thought He might not answer.

“You go to worship Me,” He says gently. “No matter what the people do or do not do, no matter what reception you receive, You go to worship Me.” Taking a step closer He adds, “There is no perfect church My child. Just people who are lost and looking but not finding.” “But…” He stopped me.

“If My Word is not being taught in truth you leave! If My Word is being taught in truth, you stay. The clicks you encounter are of no significance, it is My presence that is important.” I nodded my head. A slight smile tweeked Jesus face as He looked down at me. Placing His hand on my shoulder He gave my shoulder a slight squeeze. “You’ll be fine My child. Church is there for hearing My Word, for worship, and for fellowship. If the fellowship is absent, remember, I am there with you for it is My presence that counts. I sent you there for a purpose.” Then I awoke.

There are times when the Lord sends us to a church to be a witness, an example, to bring encouragment, or a warning to that body. We go in obedience.

“Whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He walked.” 1John 2:6

Unlike the Cherubim that have four faces, four wings, feet like a calf’s foot, and sparkle like burnished brass, (Ez.1:5-7) she resembles a beautiful woman. She doesn’t look like the Seraphim with six wings, either. (Is.6:2-3)

My pen has told the truth but yet I have been chastised and condemned. I’ve been told I’m a “lousy Christian,” “you don’t represent true Christians,” and a “flat-out liar,” because my pen wrote that we as humans do not become angels when we leave this earth. I was shocked! It still amazes me that so many Christians are ignorant as to this truth. Not just Christians, either. Many believe the lies Satan has put out there.

“THE ANGEL OF THE LORD ENCAMPS ALL AROUND THOSE THAT FEAR HIM, AND DELIVERS THEM.” Ps.34:7

“Those that fear Him.” Every Christian has an angel assigned to him or her and we like to think it’s a beautiful angel with flowing silky hair, satin wings, etc. And it’s wonderful to imagine our loved one that has died is now suddenly a beautiful angel.

But is it true? NO! (Don’t scream at me yet.)

Angels were created by God, for God, and to be His messengers and serve Him. “… for He commanded, and they were created. Ps.148.5

They are not to be worshiped. Only God through His Son, Jesus Christ, is to be the focus of our worship. (Rev.22:8-9)

This little ceramic angel has been created by some talented person. It’s purpose is determined by its creator. That is the same as with God.

He is the Almighty Creator of all things and He had a purpose for creating angels. He made them not only as His messenger but holy, (Mk. 8:38) and they never die like we do. He created humans also with the same purpose. He wants us to be holy and to be His messenger of the gospel throughout the world. We have the choice to be holy or not to be; to believe in Him, through His Son Jesus Christ, or not to believe. Many state they believe in God, well so does Satan! God had a purpose for creating His angels and for creating every human being; to serve and glorify Him!

As Christians we do not die, we just leave our earthly body behind. “nor can they die anymore, for they are equal to the angels and are sons of God being sons of the resurrection.” Lk. 20:36 (emphasis mine) DID YOU CATCH THAT? EQUAL TO THE ANGELS, NOT TRANSFORMED INTO ANGELS BUT EQUAL TO.

So why do we not suddenly turn into angels when we leave this earthly body? “…we shall be like Him.” 1Jn.3:2

“For our citizenship is in heaven…the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body…” Phil. 3:20-21 (emphasis mine)

Jesus is not an angel!!!!

Once we enter heaven we will judge the angels. “Do you not know that we shall judge angels?…” 1Cor. 6:3 If we become an angel when we die then we would not be above the angels. Right now we are below the angels, they watch over us.

There are many scriptures that speak about angels but there are none that say we humans become, are transformed, into an angel when we die. We live on, in heaven or in hell. If we are in heaven we are living in and with a love greater than anything we have ever known or can even imagine. There are no more tears, no more suffering, illness, hurt, or pain. We have been released by the grace of Almighty God. We do not sprout wings nor buzz back to earth to protect those who are left behind. That is what the angels do. We bask in His presence. If one is not a believer, well I’ve already shown part of that life in my post, “Been there-not going back!”

There is only one way to be guaranteed a seat near God’s Throne, ask Jesus into our heart. “Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” John 14:5

“Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, ‘If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”‘ John 8:31-32