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Sunday, October 18, 2015

I once worked with a Manager who had a very ambiguous style of speaking. Each and every single time that we had a meeting, she would wow the room with colorful speech, inspirational ideals, all the while imparting a sense of personal worth to each person. Yet once the meeting was over, I walked away with a fuzzy understanding of exactly what objectives were on and or off the table! When recapping meeting outcomes with colleagues,no one was able to offer any clarity (For a minute I just thought it was me). I came to the realization: No conclusive answers were ever offered, despite direct questioning. Instead, new ideas were often introduced in a fanciful, non-practical way (IMO).

Whenever we were scheduled to meet one on one, I’d prepare a list of detailed questions, specific in nature. As in, choose one of the following: YesorNo. I rehearsed in my mind a game plan to keep the conversation on track, and how to ensure that clarification would be provided.

Yet, once I entered her office, the nostalgia began. Time and time again, each question was met with optimism and addressed ambiguously. I felt powerless to enforce a straight answer... When I look back, I can clearly see: We never had an insightful conversation!

To be sure, there are varying styles of speech. However, I would have to say that ambiguity is my least favorite.

I have a direct style of speech by genetics; I like to ask straight forward questions and to receive straight forward answers. The coveted acquisition of T A C T is consistently a work in progress! Truly it makes no difference to me whether I like the answer or not (usually)- I solely desire a straight answer-preferably one that is also truthful.

In this current era of tolerance and permissiveness, I've observed that ambiguous speech seems to be a safer space than the room where one can state direct thoughts and or opinions. Why? Well, the moment a person states a direct opinion, especially one in conflict with the majority- well social media/the media is in a frenzy about how wrong such said comment was… Which leads me to: Does that mean that it is no longer acceptable to have any real/sincere thoughts/beliefs anymore? Must every word be uttered with the idea of pleasing the masses and not leaning in one direction or another?

Over to you, are you appreciative of ambiguous speech or do you prefer a straight arrow?Until next time Style Lovers!XO

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Through the lens of this blog, I have the ability to watch from the sidelines as my personal style evolves over time.

Have you noticed that your personal style has evolved over the years? Some outlets have identified this process as a 'style evolution'.

At times our personal style may evolve because we literally physically outgrow clothing that we have had for years – and in turn we found ourselves in the exhilarating space of purchasing a new wardrobe, piece by piece. In other instances, personal style may begin to evolve as a result of mentally outgrowing one’s current wardrobe. As we learn and grow, previous style preferences may no longer seem to represent the woman that we are today.

Case in point: Some of my previous go to pieces have been relegated to my recurring “Give Away” pile…I can still fit them, they’re in great shape, and they are still in style- yet…I just don’t seem to want to wear them anymore! This is evidenced by the fact that I have not worn them during the past 6 months or in some cases, longer ;(

Whatever the reason, a style evolution allows for a fresh perspective and a rejuvenated wardrobe.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Hey Style Lovers <-----> heyyyyy!!! It’s been a while, how have you been?! I’ve been doing well! You’ve most certainly been on my mind, YES - my readers! As you may know, I’ve always periodically taken breaks from social media, and or fashion blogging because down time gives me the necessary space to recharge myself (read more here). However, this Summer I noticed that my break intervals became longer and more frequent. Why? I had to brainstorm to find the answer. Is it simply because my life schedule is full? No, because my life schedule has always been full. So why had I begun to feel a sense of dread, even at times disgust, whenever I thought about sitting down to actually blog a look that I wore? It took some time, but the answer finally became apparent to me.

PerceptionIt takes quite a bit of work to write, edit, publish, and promote one blog post, especially when you consider how many social media platforms there are. Many bloggers use a variety of platforms to engage with more readers. My main platforms aside from this blog are Instagram, Facebook, and Tumblr (although I am also on Twitter, Google + and Pinterest). In the community of fashion blogging, the current general perception seems to lend itself towards the idea of working one’s way into becoming a full-time paid and or endorsed fashion blogger and or model.

To say that setting that objective as your own - is a challenge, is the understatement of the year. Consider that this (fashion/blogging regular and plus size) is an industry where literally tens of thousands of people are seeking one common goal- to be The One…The One who all fashion brands (or otherwise) want to work with… The One who all fashion related magazines want to feature… The Onewho makes it… The One who turns his or her lobby turn into a lucrative career, yes --> to be The One who is on top.

RealizationsBlogging for me began as a hobby. Sure, I thought it might be fun to work with a brand here and there; I had no intentions of marketing for any company/brand for free! LOL! However, focusing on trying to obtain partnerships with brands began to have me feeling some sort of way. Again, I had to think about why. The answer reached the surface. Simply put: I don’t want to “make it” as a fulltime blogger/model/socialite or any of the like. I do not aspire to be “The One”. My beliefs, morals, and priorities are non-negotiable and uncompromisable. I want to blog, on my own terms, in my own way.

Not only am I an appreciative introvert (read more here) BUT I’m truly and genuinely happy with my life as it stands right now: in this very moment :) My hope for the future, my genuine circle of friends, my close family, my long-term personal goals (which have nothing to do with fashion), and my career! I’m grateful to have a comfortable place to live in, a bed to sleep in each night, a variety of foods to choose from for each and every meal that I eat, and in my city: transportation! When I bring myself back to center, shifting out all of the noise, I am able to truly focus on what’s important to ME as an individual/woman, what my intentions are in blogging (read why I started here), and what aspiration is appropriate for me as the whole person. Irregardless of the cut throat ambition, fakery, dishonesty, and cliques present within the fashion blogging industry, my purpose remains the same: Blogging is for me a recreational hobby, I am decidedly different, and I will continue to do ME!