GARLIC (MY BALLS) BREAD

You garlic going on, you sexy thing, you!

No pasta dish is truly complete without garlic bread. It’s like getting down without your lover going down on you. Sure the job gets done, but there’s always a part of you longing for a little oral objectification. Half-assing your meal is like half-assing foreplay, which could lead to dire consequences like a cold shower and possible rumors of small-endowment. Plus there’s no need to be unsatisfied by your meal when garlic bread is so simple and inexpensive to create. A few slices, spreads and baking later and you are in business. Use the bread to mop up that tasty sexy sauce you whipped up. Lick the plate clean in preparation for the thorough licking you will enjoy later.

Step 1
Melt the butter in a saucepan and cook in the garlic until it goes white (approx. 1 minute). Pour the garlic butter into a container and put in the fridge to cool and harden slightly (approx 15-20 minutes).

Step 2
Cut slices into the baguette leaving some of the bottom crust attached. Spread a small amount of garlic butter between each slice. Place a slice of tomato between the bread slits. Grate parmesan a top the baguette.

Step 3
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Wrap the bread up in tinfoil and throw in the oven for 15-20 minutes. The top of the bread will be brown, the tomatoes soft and the cheese melty on top. Serve with pasta of your choice and accept you are probably getting laid tonight.

[…] Step 1 Wash the rainbow chard. Cut the stalks into bite-sized pieces. Cut the chard leaves into 1 inch strips. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of water to boil pasta. Step 2 Warm up 1 tbsp of olive oil in a deep pan on medium heat. Saute the garlic slices until they start to brown (approx 30 sec). Toss in the chard leaf strips, drizzle with remaining olive oil, and throw the chopped chard stalks. Salt and red chili flake it all. Zest the lemon and then squeeze in all the juice. Turn the heat low and cook slowly. Step 3 Boil the linguine al dente (approx 10 min). Drain and toss with in the pan with the veggies. Serve solo or get all carbed up with GARLIC (MY BALLS) BREAD. […]