I know, I know, The Links needs an update. That’s why I’m here right now. Actually, though, I was trying to not post anything for a minute. The truth is, I’m pacing myself: All-Star is just days away.

To me, All-Star Weekend has always been the most fun NBA event of the year. The Finals are great, and the Draft is cool and the games are tense, but All-Star really is a big party. We’ve always blown out the All-Star coverage here on SLAMonline, and we’ll be doing the same thing again this year. In fact, we’re going to try something a little different this year with the live blogs from the events, which will hopefully be funnier and even more interactive. (Oh, and I’m doing three different live NBA TV shows from Dallas, so keep it locked on NBA TV when the games aren’t on.)

Over the past decade, I’ve covered All-Star Weekends in Washington, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Houston, Las Vegas, New Orleans and Phoenix. I’ve seen and done things most people wouldn’t get to experience. Here are some of the best and worst of All-Stars past…

BEST CELEBRITY AUTEUR
Philadelphia, 2002Just before the All-Star Game started, the Western Conference locker room was jammed full of media. Also, the ever-present L’il Bow Wow was there. The one player not getting interviewed was Dirk Nowitzki, who was sitting quietly on a table in the center of the room getting his ankles taped.

In the hallway outside the West’s locker room, Shaquille O’Neal was standing alone wearing a suit and a beret cocked jauntily to the side. Shaq and I were talking (I was getting quotes from Shaq for my next story in SLAM) when Stevie Francis came along wielding a video camera, narrating as he went.

“Now we’re going to go out to the court…” Steve said softly into the camera’s microphone. “Hey, there’s Shaq…This is the tunnel out to the court.”

I asked Steve who he was making this tape for, and he said, “Myself.”

WORST ANIMAL SIGHTING
Phoenix, 2009 It was twilight on Saturday night, and Ben and I were leaving the hotel to go to All-Star Saturday Night. As the sun crashed into the desert behind us, I made my way to the media shuttle bus, where I came across a group of three or four NBA volunteers in identical white polyester jackets pointing furiously at the top of a butte rising high behind the media shuttle bus. I hustled over, curious to see what was going on. Was it a UFO? A pot of gold?

“Look!” said one of the women, urgently. “It’s a black-tipped mountain sheep!”

I took a look and, sure enough, there was some sort of fluffy white animal atop the hill, sitting in the shade on a rock outcropping. There appeared to be some sort of upper body movement going on as well, but I couldn’t clearly discern what was happening.

The three older women in the volunteer jackets were totally engrossed. I asked if there were a lot of mountain sheep around the area.

“No, not really,” the ringleader volunteer said. “It must have escaped from the zoo.” She said this as if it was her final answer. This was not open for discussion.

“And the zoo, that’s about two or three miles away,” added one of the other volunteers. “It’s amazing it made it this far.”

Indeed, I thought, it’s amazing that a sheep escaped from the zoo and made it two or three miles and NOBODY SAW A SHEEP RUNNING AWAY FROM THE ZOO!

I still couldn’t get a good view of this alleged sheep, which was about 40 yards away from us high up on this hill. I started thinking about it — isn’t it goats and rams that can live on mountains? Sheep need grass and stuff, right?

“Do you have a camera?” The lead volunteer was desperate to document this. I lied and told her I didn’t have a camera and climbed onto the bus.

The bus driver was a man in his 40’s with gray skin, wearing an ill-fitting NBA baseball hat. As I walked past him he said in a conspiratorial whisper, “Hey buddy, you know that’s not a sheep, right?”

“I can’t even see it,” I said. “What is it then?”

“It’s a cat,” he said, disgust ringing in his voice.

I laughed and asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he responded, smiling. “Sheep don’t lick themselves.”

ALL-TIME BEST ANSWER TO A QUESTION ON ALL-STAR MEDIA DAY
Atlanta, 2003Question: Why do you shoot so many threes?
Antoine Walker: Because they don’t have fours.

WORST DUNK CONTEST LOSER
Philadelphia, 2002In 2002, Jason Richardson beat Desmond Mason to win the dunk contest. Afterward, once the locker room cleared out, the dethroned champ Mason started packing up his gear. One ballboy picked up a sweatband that was embroidered with “JR-23″ and asked Desmond if it was his. The despondent Desmond said, “No, that’s Jason Richardson’s. You should burn that motherf***er.” (Somehow, the wristband in question would later end up on a table in the hotel room I shared with SLAM senior editor Ryan Jones. Jones had no comment.)

BEST YAO MING SIGHTING
Atlanta, 2003It was Yao’s rookie year, and Yao Mania was at a fever pitch. On Sunday afternoon, a couple of hours before the All-Star Game would tip off, the SLAM crew was on a shuttle bus from the hotel to Philips Arena, inching through the horrible Atlanta traffic. It was only about a mile from the hotel to the arena, and as we sat there in the gridlock, we wondered aloud if perhaps we should have just walked. Moments later, we saw a shuttle bus ahead of us open its door and Yao Ming step off, his athletic bag slung over his shoulder, as he set off on foot to start in his first All-Star Game. He actually walked the entire way to the game, while hundreds of fans sat trapped in traffic.

WORST TRAVEL FIASCO
Phoenix, 2009I don’t know how many times I’ve written here on SLAMonline that connecting flights are the worst idea ever invented. As a little tip from me, a veteran traveler, to you, never, ever take connecting flights. Ever. Never.

(For future reference, here are a few of my travel rules. Bookmark them and refer to them whenever necessary.)

That said, last year Ryne and I were booked on connecting flights on the Thursday night of All-Star Weekend, going from New York to Washington DC, then from DC to Phoenix. On that Thursday, it just so happened that New York City was so windy that Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt were allegedly driving around the JFK runways trying to release a bunch of ping-pong balls. Ryne and I eventually made it to D.C., hours late, and we missed the flight into Phoenix. The next flight on United from D.C. to Phoenix? The Tuesday after All-Star Weekend. We stood in a customer service line for nearly three hours, and when we finally got to the front of the line, the woman there, bless her heart, was very helpful. She wrote out about 5 or 6 options for us and put us standby on several flights. And that was about all she could do.

So Ryne and I spent the night in Dulles Airport, which was deserted and dark and quiet. I never did go to sleep, and I roamed the empty concourses feeling like Will Smith in *I Am Legend*, spotting only intermittent signs of life. I finally found the one newsstand in the entire airport that was open all night, and there were several stranded travelers milling about, like we’d all happened upon this singular source of life.

Early the next morning, Ryne and I got onto a flight into Denver, and then in Denver we sprinted over and caught a flight into Phoenix about 18 hours later than we were supposed to arrive. But at least we got there.

BEST FOUND ITEM
Washington, 2001After the Rookie/Sophomore Game players left the media availability area, Russ and I found an envelope laying face-down on a table. We picked it up, flipped it over and saw “Stephen Jackson” printed on it, along with an NBA logo. We looked inside and saw it was filled with tickets and passes to every event of All-Star Weekend. Hey, nobody ever said Stephen Jackson was well-organized. Against our better wishes, we turned it over to the proper authorities.

FUNNIEST/TERRIBLE TRAVEL FIASCO
New Orleans, 2008Our crew that year included myself, Ben, Sam and Khalid. We flew out of Newark airport really early on Friday morning, and the airport was a mess for some reason. For even less-clear reasons, Sam and Khalid decided to check their luggage, even though this is specifically against my time-tested travel rules.

We were flying on Delta, and supposed to go from Newark to Cincinnati, and then change planes and go on to New Orleans. Of course we didn’t make our connecting flight in Cincinnati, and for reasons that are still unclear to this day, Delta’s automated customer service machine immediately put Ben on another flight to Atlanta and then to New Orleans; Sam, Khalid and I were given tickets telling us to see the people at customer service.

I went up and talked to them, and was told there wasn’t any way for us to get to New Orleans that night. For a while it appeared that we’d have to spend the night in Cincinnati, which was a far cry from New Orleans on All-Star Weekend. Sam, Khalid and I sat down in the vapid Cincinnati airport trying to figure out our next step. Delta gave us $7 food vouchers so we could get something to eat. Khalid was fed up, and he yelled, “What kind of man eats a $7 meal!?” A minute later, Khalid pulled out a book called “Black Pain.”

As it turned out, so many people missed their flights and were getting piled up in Cincinnati that Delta organized what was basically an unlisted flight to Atlanta. They asked if we wanted to get to Atlanta, and I said yes, figuring it was closer to New Orleans than Cincy. So we took a half-full plane to Atlanta, where once we arrived we were told if we hurried we could get on a flight to Baton Rouge. Again, figuring it was closer to New Orleans than Atlanta, I agreed.

Sam, Khalid and I had to run through the airport, which was difficult because Sam had inexplicably decided to wear flip-flops to travel in, and we made the flight to Baton Rouge. Once in Baton Rouge, Sam rented a car, while we found out, unsurprisingly, that Sam and Khalid’s luggage had been lost many hours earlier. Khalid was mostly upset that the Baton Rouge airport only had one computer to track all the luggage. We ended up driving into New Orleans and arriving around 10:30 PM.

The next morning, Sam had to return the rental car. As he wrote at the time…

As you know by now, we had to rent a car in Baton Rouge to drive here, and that car needed to be returned a few miles away from out hotel. I drove there, dropped it off, paid the ridiculous bill, and the whole process took about 15 minutes. I stepped out into the street to look for a cab or think about walking back, and as is prone to happen I was right in the middle of a feed the hungry parade. So I marched with hundreds of 12 year olds for a few blocks, behind the marching band, and then they suddenly turned left.

I was all alone on “the wrong side of the tracks.” This was not the touristy safe part of New Orleans. There is a place that is called Tent Town I believe, where the homeless live in tents under the freeway. It was a lot like the current season of The Wire, where the lying reporter spent the night with Baltimore’s homeless. One guy seemed to be walking straight at me. I’ve been in bad neighborhoods before, dodged muggings, been chased. But this time, I tensed up and I really thought he was about to stab me…

No knife, no stab wound. Back to work. By work I mean brunch.

Remember, Sam didn’t have any clothes. So he was walking down Canal Street and saw a men’s clothing store eponymously named Rubenstein’s, so of course he went in. They sold him a dress shirt that looked more appropriate for the Player’s Ball than All-Star Weekend. But even better was that Sam didn’t try it on at the store, so that evening when he got dressed for All-Star Saturday Night, he had on a tight pimp shirt. Unfortunately for the rest of us, his luggage eventually showed up.

On Sunday night after the All-Star Game, we hit Bourbon Street, where Sam ordered a drink called Blue Crack.

WORST TIP
Philadelphia, 2002One of the bellhops at the Marriott where the players were staying in Philly came over to me and put Wang Zhi Zhi on blast because he had only given the bellhop a $1 tip.

In retrospect, I’m not even sure what Wang Zhi Zhi was doing at All-Star Weekend.

BEST NARROWLY-AVOIDED DISASTER
Atlanta, 2003It was Friday night in Atlanta, and after Russ and I attended the Celebrity game, coached by Kenny Smith and Charles Barkley, we got hungry around 10:00 PM. We were in the Jam Session, where there were a couple of food courts set up, but I couldn’t figure out how it worked, as people just seemed to be coming and going without any money changing hands. So I secretly followed Hawks television announcer Bob Rathbun, who walked in and served himself up a plate of chips and salsa and walked out. Then it hit me: The whole thing was free!

Russ and I went in and served ourselves a few plates of steak, potatoes and salad. We were standing at a table eating when we heard a commotion behind us at a paella stand — banging pots and pans and people yelling. A fire had broken out near the stove, and flames were shooting high into the air. No one really seemed sure of what to do. One cook ran over with a small glass of liquid that he threw on the fire, sending the flames a few feet higher into the air. (What was in that glass, kerosene?)

Russ and I calmly kept eating and watching. Two other chefs decided to try and douse it with a tablecloth, which they yanked off a table devoted to breads, sending hundreds of biscuits, rolls and baguettes soaring into the air.

“That was dope,” Russ commented.

The tablecloth didn’t work, and the fire continued growing. I got some more potatoes and settled back in to see what would happen. While all the chefs kept sprinting over to battle the blaze, someone knocked the tremendous paella frying pan onto the plastic-covered floor, and the awful smell of burning plastic began filling the air. Finally someone managed to put the thing out, and everyone broke into applause.

It was more entertaining than the Charles and Kenny game, I know that much.

BEST OVERHEARD LINE AT A PARTY
Phoenix, 2009 Late one night at one of the parties, I needed to hit the bathroom. I walked down a hallway and noticed the women’s restroom was closed off so the custodial staff could clean it. I turned the corner to the men’s room and saw two ladies entering the restroom. The men’s restroom. Hmm.

I wasn’t sure how to react. Should I wait patiently? Should I barge in and perhaps catch these two ladies in the midst of something unseemly?

Being a Southern gentleman at heart, I waited. So I stood there in the hall, alone, patiently wondering what in the world was happening, when two other guys came walking up.

“Is there a line?” one of them asked me.

“I guess,” I said. “Actually, two girls just went in there and, well, I thought I’d at least give them a few minutes before barging in.”

“Eff that,” one of these fine young men responded. He pushed open the door slightly and all three of us stuck our heads in the door. One of the girls was standing just inside the door, I guess on guard duty. The other girl was in the toilet stall, on her knees, facing the toilet.

“Hurry up,” yelled the girl on guard, noticing us. “Just go ahead and throw up. My house is only 15 minutes away. Throw up now and then we’ll be at my place in no time.”

And from inside the toilet stall we heard, “I know how to throw up — I was bulimic for four years, b*tch!”

BEST STORY FROM TIM DUNCAN
Houston, 2006We were at an adidas photoshoot and ended up hanging out with Tim for a while. I asked Tim about the Spurs game in Jersey two weeks before All-Star, when Tim had the runs and kept sprinting back and forth to the bathroom. When he was on the court, Russ and I saw him wipe his face with his jersey and noticed two weird things on his chest, white sticker-looking things that looked almost like battery cable connectors or something. Timmy didn’t know a lot about them, but he said they’re some kind of cutting edge “nanotechnology” things that put chemicals or vitamins or something like that into your system and, in theory, should help you play better and be healthier.

Duncan said when the Spurs were in Philly a few days earlier, Chris Webber noticed them during the game and asked him if he was wearing nicotine patches.

WORST AIRPORT TRAFFIC MANAGEMENT
Vegas, 2007The Monday morning after All-Star is traditionally the worst time to try and catch a flight, because everyone in the city is leaving within a two-hour window. On Monday morning in Houston in 2006, the airport was a mess, but we bumped into Josh Smith and a few Hawks, who were on a commercial flight out to their next game, and managed to get through a secret security game and skirt any problems. Vegas was rough, though. After a late Sunday night at the blackjack tables, I fell into my bed around 6:00 a.m. and woke two hours late to pack my bags. The SLAM fam met up in the lobby of the MGM at 9:30 a.m. (I don’t understand why, but the lobby of the MGM always smells overwhelmingly like liquid soap.) The taxi line was completely manageable, and before long we were on the way to the airport. Our driver was coherent and sensible and only mildly offensive, a rarity among Vegas cabbies.

Arriving at the airport, he warned us it was worse than anything he’d ever seen. Before we could process his words, we noticed people: all over the place, in lines, standing around, angry and frustrated. Several lines of people stretched hundreds of yards from the domestic terminal to the international terminal. Nobody seemed to have any idea what was going on.

Ben and I dropped our bags to the ground and sat down to begin planning alternate escape routes, including renting a car to drive to L.A. and flying from there. Then Khalid magically divined which line was the America West line, so we hopped in there, and maybe an hour later found ourselves ticketed and ready to roll.

BEST PREFACE TO AN ANSWER AT A PRESS CONFERENCE
Houston, 2006I’d been invited to a secret brunch meeting with David Stern, and someone asked him about the initial reactions to the then-recent dress code. He prefaced his answer by saying, “As I step gently on the land mines of culture and race, here goes…” Probably my favorite sentence of the weekend.

BEST OVERHEARD ENTERTAINER INTERACTION
Philadelphia, 2002During a break at All-Star Saturday night in 2002, Hall & Oates got dusted off long enough to play a set of their greatest hits. Both of them. Afterward, I ran into the duo in the tunnel below the arena, where all the interesting action was taking place. One person chirped “Nice job!” to the blonde guy from Hall & Oates, who responded, “Yeah, right.”

WORST AIRPORT CELEBRITY INTERACTION
Atlanta, 2003On Friday morning, by 6:45 AM, as I stood around outside my apartment waiting for Russ to roll through and pick me up so we could fly out to Atlanta, the snow was piled in the streets, getting gully in the gutters. We still made it out to LaGuardia pretty quickly. We’d been in line for maybe ten minutes when Shandon Anderson came rolling in, wearing a beige sweatsuit, a plain baseball cap pulled low over his eyes. He hustled to the first class line, where he settled in behind Craig Sager and Danny Ainge, who was wearing a colorful McDonald’s Open 1993 leather jacket with a huge Phoenix Suns logo on the back, the orange collar turned up. At least Ainge wasn’t trying to draw any attention to himself.

As we hit the security checkpoint, Ainge, who has no idea who I am, suddenly cut me off.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, but still not stopping to let me back in ahead of him.

“You should’ve said, ‘Tree Rollins wasn’t,’” Russ noted.

BEST RASHEED WALLACE SIGHTING
Washington, 2001Around 1:00 a.m. on Thursday night/Friday morning in D.C., Russ, Ryan and I left an And 1 party and walked over to the Grand Hyatt, where the players were staying, to hook up with our dude Chris Palmer from ESPN. Palmer was late, so Russ, Ryan and I grabbed a seat in the lobby and were hanging there, when Rasheed Wallace came strolling down the escalator with his posse; they quickly ducked into the lobby bathroom.

I had written the cover story on Sheed in the previous issue of SLAM, calling him out on his mad scientist behavior while pointing out that he’s also allowed to act however he’d like to. I hadn’t seen him since that issue dropped, and I was a little concerned with how he’d react. When they emerged, Sheed spotted me and said,

“The story was cool,” giving us the official thumbs up. I exhaled.

We were then introduced to one of Rasheed’s friends named Perv, who also claimed to have liked the article.

We didn’t get a chance to ask him what Perv was short for, though we had an idea.

WORST DUNK CONTEST ARTIFACT
WASHINGTON, 2001Does anyone remember the 2001 Dunk Contest? Of course you don’t, because it was terrible and boring. By far the funniest moment was when Baron Davis tried to dunk while blindfolded with a headband. He ran up, jumped into the air, windmilled the ball and slammed it home — except he missed the rim by about three feet.

After the dunk contest, Baron gave me his headband, and it had two small eyeholes cut into it. Not big enough, apparently.

MOST SURPRISINGLY GOOD PARTY
Houston, 2006On Saturday night, after the dunk contest wound down, we had a few choices for our next step. NBA International was having a Latin Party somewhere downtown, and a bunch of writers were planning to hit that. The Player’s Association was having their annual bash, but that ends up being the place for people who don’t really know what’s going on, people who figure, Hey, the players are having a party, let’s go! And then everyone shows up and it’s a big mess. (I heard the fire marshall shut it down by midnight this year.) But I had something else planned. Last week when I was in LA, I went to lunch with some guys who work with a few companies, one of them being T-Mobile, and they’d been after me to hit the T-Mobile party that night.

So when everyone else scattered, the SLAM crew and a couple of guys from SI.com (spearheaded by former SLAMonline correspondent Arash Markazi) headed over to a parking lot a few blocks from the Toyota Center. A tremendous tent had been erected, and when we got there there was a line from the entrance going down the street and around the corner. I got on the cell, and within five minutes we’d all been escorted through a back entrance inside the huge tent, which was all white inside: carpets, couches, walls, open bars, everything. Magenta lights made everything the color of a T-Mobile ad.

A few lovely ladies wearing NBA jerseys were scattered about inside, and waiters and waitresses passed around food and drinks. We got there around 10:00 PM, and by 10:30, Travis Barker (from Blink-182) and DJ AM were on stage. AM, best known for being engaged to Nicole Richie, was playing every Biggie song ever recorded, and Barker was playing drums along with him. Not really that exciting, though many of the people in the audience seemed to be enjoying it.

At 11:30, Pharrell trotted out on stage. I’m not much of a Neptunes fan, but he put on a good show, working the crowd really well, and his songs sound much better in a small club (or tent) than they do on FM radio. The best thing about the party was that they were tight on the guest list. We all got in, and apparently every woman in Houston who looked like a stripper got in, but that was it. The tent would probably have held about 500 people, but it seemed like they were keeping it at a steady 300. It was open enough that when Pharrell came out, I was able to walk right up to the stage and take a picture.

Around midnight, Slim Thug came out and joined Pharrell, and together they ran through a bunch of Houston hits, capping it off with “Still Tippin’.”

Then Snoop Dogg walked on stage, and they did all of Snoop’s latest hits. When they got around to “Drop It Like It’s Hot,” I thought the roof was going to come off the place. While Snoop was performing, Bishop Don Magic Juan was making the rounds through the crowd. A Brazilian girl working at the party came over to me and Ryan and asked us who the Bishop was. I’d never had to explain what a pimp actually was or is before, and it’s pretty ridiculous to hear yourself saying, “He buys and sells, um, women. Or he used to, at least. But now he’s a reverend, so…”

And then there was Arash. In his SI.com story about that night, he mentioned a bartender telling a girl that Arash was a director, then he claimed that I helped perpetrate the whole thing. Let’s just say that if Arash embellished everything he writes as well as he embellished that story, we’ll be calling him Jayson Blair by now.

My actual contribution to the story was when Arash was telling her about how he often has actresses read for parts, and I said, “Yeah, didn’t you meet your wife at a reading?” (Arash isn’t married, by the way.)

We were still there just after 2:00 a.m., when the lights flicked on and the party closed down. Everyone stumbled outside, and a guy leaning against a plastic fence a few feet away from us went crashing through it. Two other guys got into a shoving match, came close to blows, then shook hands and made up.

Khalid said, “Why don’t white guys ever fight? I hate you guys.”

All in all, it was the best party of the weekend, and probably the closest I’ll ever come to being in a Girls Gone Wild video. And as a loyal T-Mobile Sidekick user, I once again give it my full endorsement.

BEST OVERALL PARTY EXPERIENCE
Vegas, 2007The 2007 All-Star Game in Vegas has gone down in history as a mess, one of the worst All-Star experience ever, though I couldn’t disagree more; it was by far the most fun I’ve ever had at an All-Star Weekend. And the most fun was on Saturday night. To sum it up, what follows is the post I posted on Sunday morning.

I’m not sure I should even be doing this. I’m working on a combined 150 minutes of sleep over the last two days. I hate lights, fresh air, water, fruits and vegetables. All-Star Weekend in Vegas is turning out to be both remarkable and outrageous. I’ll do my best to catch you up on Saturday night’s doings.

After the Dunk Contest, the SLAM Crew headed back to our hotel, where we parted ways with Khalid (he was on some secret mission). Ben, Sam and I dropped off our bags, changed into some presentable clothes and rolled out to the Venetian Hotel and Casino for the Steve Nash/GQ party.

The Venetian is loosely based on the city of Venice, Italy, although this is a very loose interpretation. For instance, instead of dozens of canals running in between ancient crumbling buildings, the Venetian has one canal that runs through a mall. They have gondola rides available, and gondoliers wearing white and black striped shirts. Also, nobody was riding the gondolas.

A bunch of people were massed together in a random corner. We investigated and discovered they were all hoping to get a glimpse of Jay-Z, who I guess was hanging out under a stairwell or something.

We finally found the V Bar, which was hosting the shindig. When we arrived it wasn’t very full, but we did see Matt Bonner and Pat Garrity standing around outside; we assumed they were looking for the white player’s party. They never did come into Nash’s party, but before long Nash arrived and then Kevin Garnett showed up with a crew that included Rashad McCants and Jawad Williams.

Nash and KG each had VIP areas set aside for them, but neither of them hid in their areas, instead moving freely around the small club, shaking hands and just acting like regular people. Andrea Bargnani also showed up, along with Darrick Martin, representing Canada and Raptors.

A DJ was playing some great old school hip-hop, from Brand Nubian to Poor Righteous Teachers, and before long KG couldn’t help himself: The Big Ticket staked out a spot right in front of the DJ table and started dancing, mouthing along to every lyric. An hour later, KG finally took a seat, drenched with sweat. Soon after, KG headed out, and by 1:30 we were gone, too. Nash was still there when we left, making the rounds, having fun.

We took the monorail back to our hotel and arrived by 2:00 a.m. Ben headed out to meet a buddy at the poker tables, and Sam and I were thinking about getting seats at a blackjack table when a friend sent me this text message:

Palms. Playboy Tower. Goooood. Shaq here. Wanna come thru?

This posed a serious problem. Should we play blackjack for an hour then get some much-needed sleep? Or should we do Vegas things and hit the Palms and get no sleep?

Minutes later, we were in a mile-long cab line outside our hotel. As we waited, we saw a guy bring out a huge, clear ice bucket filled with what appeared to be orange juice. The guy then produced three bottles of champagne and poured them into the bucket, creating an industrial sized Mimosa. He passed out dozens of straws and, inexplicably, women were drinking from it. Yuck.

After a 45-minute wait, we got into a cab with a driver who was eerily reminiscent of Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs. While Sam and I tried to concentrate on not being abducted, the driver went through some back roads and a parking lot and suddenly we were at the Palms.

Inside the Palms we bumped into Mark Jackson, who sent his love to the entire SLAM family. After a while wandering around, we found the entrance to the Playboy Towers and the club, which I think was called Moon, although don’t quote me on that. We were allegedly on “the list,” but when I squeezed my way to the front of the line and asked for the person with “the list,” I was told she was gone and to please move along. OK. I got on the phone, and minutes later our people came down from upstairs. After some wrangling, we were in.

After a quick elevator ride, we emerged into a Bret Easton Ellis novel. Lights were flashing. Women were dancing on furniture. We were invited up into a private area. Sam wandered off. I was escorted across the dance floor (where Mark Cuban was getting down) and out onto a huge open rooftop deck 50-something stories above the Vegas strip. It was nothing short of amazing, even moreso because it was like 4 in the morning and we were in Vegas and all of a sudden, we were singing “Baaaaaal-ling!” The whole thing redefined excess. And it was awesome.

A little over two hours later, after another hour-long wait for a cab, we walked back into our hotel. The clock ticked past 6:00 a.m. The sun was starting to rise, and people were stumbling around all over the place, coming home from long nights out on the town blowing off steam.

Got in the elevator and some dude muttered, “Man, I wish I could just click my heels and be back home.”

Understood. My throat was dry. My eyes were red. My voice was gone. I had to pee. I had to sleep.

But I had to be at the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino in less than four hours for breakfast with David Stern.

I’m on this insane schedule right now. I wake up every morning at 9 and eat oatmeal. (When I went to my doctor to get shots before going to Africa, he secretly took some of my blood to get it all checked out. Everything was fine, but my cholesterol was jacked. So now I can’t eat good food any longer. Oatmeal seven days a week. On the upside, it keeps you regular.)

I go to work, where we’ve been pretty busy of late. We just finished KICKS, and now we’re working on another special issue (yee-uh) and then we’ve got another regular issue of SLAM shipping in less than a month. So there’s always stuff going on there — for instance, I just found out an upcoming photo shoot I’m trying to put together might get disrupted by a Judas Priest/Whitesnake concert.

I come home, eat dinner, spend an hour or two catching up with Wifey, and then I’m back on my grind, working on The Book, which is due in just over a month. I write until 2 or 3 in the morning, then crash and get back at it the next day. On Saturdays and Sundays, I write all day. And so on, and so on, and so on.

My only respite comes each night around midnight. When my eyes get bleary, when my iBook has started to singe my thighs, I shut it down for about half an hour and play a game of college football. I’ve always loved college football, and EA’s NCAA 10 is a great, great game. If I wasn’t more disciplined, I could easily waste a night or a weekend on this thing. Playing college football lets me get my mind off basketball and baseball. Plus it’s a dope game.

One of the coolest additions to NCAA 10 this year is the Teambuilder feature, where you go to an EA website and create a team that’s then available for download in the actual game. People have made all sorts of teams, from hip-hop legends to baseball all-stars. I found a couple of NBA teams, though I thought we could do better. So I created the SLAM Magazine NBA All-Stars. We play in New York City in an open air stadium called The SLAM Dome, with a SLAM logo at midfield and SLAM logos on our helmets.

There were a lot of NBA guys I couldn’t figure out what to do with. Dirk Nowitzki, Paul Pierce, Tim Duncan — just because some guys are great NBA players, they don’t always project to football. There were also some limitations imposed by EA. For instance, there are only a couple of dozen faces available, which explains why Blake Griffin, a reserve defensive end, doesn’t look anything like Blake Griffin. You also can’t build a player who is taller than 7-1, so I had to fudge Yao’s height. Otherwise, all the heights and weights should be correct. And I made the entire roster freshmen, because I wanted to have as long as possible to play with these guys in dynasty mode.

Finally, I tried to put together a team that could actually go out and play right now and do pretty well. I rated guys as realistically as I could (which explains Monta Ellis’s low injury rating) and did my best to put guys in reasonable positions.

HEAD COACH
I guess I’m actually more like the GM, but I listed myself as coach because I built this team (with consulting from Tzvi and Ben and our creative director, Melissa, who weighed in on the uniforms and logo).

Let’s unveil the rosters for the initial SLAM Magazine NBA All-Stars…

QUARTERBACK
At QB, I want a guy with speed, experience, poise, leadership. He needs eyes in the back of his head and an ability to make the players around him better. Chris Paul seemed like the obvious answer to me here. Even though he’s small at six feet, he has the intangibles to compensate. CP3’s backup is Derrick Rose, a wildly talented but still raw youngster. I also put Ricky Rubio and Allen Iverson on the roster at QB. Those would be some interesting position meetings.

RUNNING BACK
Finding running backs wasn’t easy. We needed guys who weren’t too tall, so they’d be fast, but also weren’t so small that they’d be easily tackled.

So Dwyane Wade is our starting tailback. How many times have you seen Wade dribble at the top of the key, then somehow weave between three or four defenders and get to the rim untouched? That elusive quality will serve him well as our feature back, plus Wade is strong enough to fall down seven times and get up six, or something like that. D-Wade is backed up by Tony Parker, Baron Davis and Russell Westbrook. (Because the roster was so large and I couldn’t play everyone, I had to redshirt Rodney Stuckey.)

FULLBACK
Deron Williams. He’s got the core strength to stay in and pass protect or lead block for Wade. Also, he’s smart enough to know all the plays and adjust to blitzes, etc. Plus, he’s used to being behind Chris Paul. Deron’s backup is going to be Jameer Nelson, as long as his shoulder holds up.

WR
Our starting receivers? Kobe and Bron. They’re both fast, physical and way tall. I also added Vince Carter, though he’s more of a possession receiver. Brandon Jennings and Monta Ellis are our burners, and Toney Douglas is in there too, mostly because his brother Harry is a receiver on the Falcons.

TE
I initially had LeBron at tight end, but I felt like it wasn’t a proper utilization of his skills; it was too easy to forget about him there. So I moved Bron to receiver and bumped up Josh Smith and Thaddeus Young to bracket our line. I want guys who will get nasty in there, and I think Josh and Thad can do that. Plus, nobody will outjump either of them in the red zone.

OFFENSIVE LINE
Since CP3 is right-handed, I really need to protect his blindside, so I put Amare Stoudemire at left tackle. Black Jesus has the size and strength to handle any college kids rushing at him, and he has the speed to stop guys from turning the corner. I also took into account Amare’s eye injury. While Amare seems to be recovering well, in a worst case scenario, Bob Whitfield had a tremendous NFL career at left tackle despite being blind in one eye. I put Yao Ming at center, because he’s a center. Greg Oden and Dajuan Blair with bookend Yao at guard. Al Horford will play right tackle, with the ability to be a punishing run blocker.

Our starting offensive line averages 6-11.5 and 271 pounds. They’re also all athletic and versatile enough to run block or pass protect. (Backups on the o-line include Brandon Bass, Andres Nocioni, Kevin Love and Andrea Bargnani.)

DEFENSIVE LINE
You want defense? We’re lining up KG and Dwight on the ends, where they’ll be flying off the line at opposing QBs. Backing them up is a rotation that includes Carlos Boozer and Emeka Okafor. In the center of the line, gumming up the run, are Shaq and Al Jefferson, with Kendrick Perkins and Craig Smith providing relief. Come on, Urban Cryer, just try throwing one of those little dump passes over our line. Every one of these guys requires a double team, so something’s got to give.

LINEBACKERS
Since we’re playing a 4-3, I needed three fast, aggressive linebackers. I went with Carmelo Anthony at MLB, because he’s quick enough to read and react, he’s smart enough to be the captain of the defense, and he’s from B-More and a Ravens fan, so he grew up watching Ray Lewis and those stone-cold defenses. On the outsides I went with Ron Artest and Stephen “Whoo!” Jackson. These two will be relentless coming after QBs and running backs, plus I like having Artest and Whoo! on opposite sides, watching each other’s backs. Because we know they’re good at that. Eric Gordon and Caron Butler fill out the linebacker core.

CORNERBACKS
Nate Robinson and Leandro Barbosa will line up at the corners, each with speed to burn. While Nate is short and teams could try to pick on him, he actually played cornerback in college, so he’ll have the shortest time to adjust. And Barbosa’s actually 6-3, so his size and speed at the corner could be epic. Devin Harris will be our nickelback, and Rajon Rondo is also in the CB crew.

SAFETY
As the quarterback of our defense, Chauncey Billups will line up at free safety. He’s built more like a linebacker, but he’s got the speed to provide help over the top and the smarts to position the rest of the guys. Alongside Billups will be our strong safety, Brandon Roy, who just seems like he’s going to be a big hitter. Hopefully he doesn’t start flopping on the football field as much as he does on the basketball court. Backing these guys up will be Delonte West and Jason Kidd, who obviously isn’t as fast as he used to be but has the veteran savvy to still be in the right place at the right time.

SPECIAL TEAMS
I’ve got Monta Ellis and Nate Robinson slated to be our return men. (Nate actually returned a punt for a touchdown when he was at Washington.) Our placekicker is Steve Nash, converting his soccer skills to football. And for a punter, I couldn’t think of anyone obvious, so I went with Kevin Durant. My thinking is that he probably won’t have to punt much anyway, and besides, I want him around this team, encouraging guys, working hard, staying out of trouble.

So that’s the SLAM Magazine NBA All-Stars. If you want to play NCAA 10 using this team, you can: Just go to the Teambuilder menu and search for either SLAM or NBA or All-Stars and it’s there for you to download, free of charge.

Have at it. And if you run into me and the SLAM NBA All-Stars online, prepare to lose!

We met at a laid-back Playstation party in Phoenix last February when I was working on a feature that’s now on your local newsstand. Rose just finished playing the 2K9 version of the Skills Challenge. He went through it thrice and improved by 30 seconds each time. Using the game to plan his own handle for the real Skills Challenge that evening, he trotted through with a resounding win.

Instead of re-running the article called “Sweet Home Chicago” — headlined after the tattoo on his left wrist — here’s our uncut conversation from that afternoon. I also spoke with Derrick’s coach, friend and mentor, John Calipari. That veteran poise everyone talks about now in the Playoffs — Cal and I talked about it as well. You can’t avoid the topic when piecing together this young man’s puzzle.

A Rose grew from the concrete pavement of the inner city. It doesn’t happen often. But it did, and you can be sure it’s of a different breed than the rest.

Ironic that when I sit down on my couch to write this up, finally fully armed with the materials and time needed to make this post official, the Spurs and Pistons are playing on TNT. Why is this ironic? Cause it was games like the last Spurs-Pistons matchup, when the Pistons won in SA, that had us feeling so good about our most recent Allen Iverson cover. I wouldn’t say we regret it now; it looked amazing and like I wrote before, AI has always sold well and been a SLAM guy, so him being traded to a team we thought could contend for a title was more than enough reason to put him on. However, the contend for a title/”needs a ring. Now” line of thinking doesn’t look too hot right now. Maybe we should have gone with a different line. I mean, my watching them tonight isn’t that different than what I’ve done many nights this season; the Pistons collection of talent and personalities has led me to watch probably more of their games than any other team’s. And there are still occasions where I say to myself, “If they could just put it all together at the same time, maybe they could make a ru—” and then AI takes a bad shot, Sheed gets a bad tech or Michael Curry makes a bizarre substitution, and I admit to myself that they will struggle to win even one round in the Playoffs.

But this isn’t even about all that. This is about AI, and how regardless of how this season turns out, we’ve got love for him. And so do many of you. So check this out: You may remember that a week or so after the cover, we posted this cover video, and as some commenters noticed, Allen can be seen at the end signing a never-before-seen pair of blue Reebok Questions. Well, he handed me that shoe for the sole (no pun intended) purpose of us giving it away on the site. Since Reebok had been such a help in us executing the shoot, I wanted to do them the favor of running some product info about the shoes with the contest, as well as track down the other half of the pair this signed shoe came from. Well, I went one for two. While hanging out with at a Reebok/AI event in Phoenix last weekend for which we made the program (below), I was officially informed by a few Reebok folks that there are only 100 pairs of these for sale; they’ll retail for $99.99 and be in just a handful of Champs Stores in the Detroit area. What they didn’t have for me was the other shoe.

I feel a little bad not having the whole pair to give away, but not too bad. I’d hope that real AI fans wouldn’t dare to wear this shoe even if they had the pair, considering it’s a rare shoe signed by an iconic player at a SLAM cover shoot, and there’s video in which you can watch him sign the shoe. You guys should know what I like in my contests by now: passion and subjectivity. It’s simple: head down to the comments section below and tell me why you deserve this shoe. I’ll read ’em over, pick the person I think is the most deserving winner, and then mail that person one of the cooler pieces of AI memorabilia you could ever want.

A couple notes about the event I attended in Phoenix after the Rookie-Sophomore Game…

-The “closest we’ve seen to Michael Jordan” line I use in the title of this post comes from Reebok VP Todd Krinsky’s reminding the assembled media that AI’s 13 signature shoes mark the longest line of anyone but MJ.

-Chinese journalists (and apparently their readers/viewers) love AI.

-AI was wearing a Montreal Canadiens hat, so even though a recent YouTube post indicates that he shorn the cornrows Thursday night and thereby had short hair while he was at the event I attended, he didn’t show it at all (if he had, I wouldn’t have gone so crazy looking for Lang Saturday at practice media availability so he could Twitter/film AI with his new cut.)

-The media session with Iverson, Krinsky and free champagne segued into a party that I chilled at for an hour or so before leaving to meet Lang and Ryne at the T-Mobile event. Lucky I left when I did, or else I might have gotten tasered.

OK. Forget all that stuff and focus on the task at hand: tell me why you deserve AI’s signed shoe below. (By the way, as I typed, the Pistons just played an inspired 4th quarter before losing to the Spurs, 83-79, despite AI’s 31 points. Sigh.)

Check out this great sneaker that I wore over All-Star Weekend that was made by up-and-coming designer Billy Fullam, who’s based out of Long Island, NY. He made these shoes up in less than a month. As you can see, they match All-Star weekend perfectly and stand out when you walk around in them. This is a one-of-a-kind shoe, but anyone who’s interested in having a customized sneaker like mine, please post your email address in the comments section below and I’ll get you more information. I think these shoes should go down as one of the top sneakers worn this weekend. I even had a few celebs wanting to know how they could get a pair. Let me know what you think….

I’m finally back in my Brooklyn apartment after my first All-Star Weekend. I’ve done a few things like take off my shoes, watch the end of The Reader (I mean the very, tail end…still can’t believe I got there…with my sanity), change into some comfortable slippers. And here I am.

Here to reflect on the tidal wave that just hit me.

You haven’t formally heard from me this weekend, and I’m somewhat sorry about that. Only somewhat, though. Before I explain, let me get to what’s most important. I want to say thank you to everyone who came to SLAMonline to participate in this wonderful community of readers and commenters to talk about one of basketball’s best weekends. It’s a time to celebrate the game, and I can’t tell you how honored we are to have each and every one of you here to share that love for the game. Thanks to the people who dropped at least one of the 752 (at this very moment) comments in The Links during and after yesterday’s All-Star Game. Thanks to those who read the live blog and the comments. Thanks to all who take a moment in their day for this game—whether it’s playing basketball, arguing about basketball, writing about basketball, or simply just skimming through the news and feature articles on SLAMonline’s site. adidas talks about Brotherhood. Well, you honestly can’t beat this one here.

Alright, so you already know one thing about how All-Star has effected me: I’m feeling very reflexive. As I said before, I spent my weekend taking in the scenes, trying to stay afloat. Treading was a lot easier, no doubt, because of Lang and Ben’s guidance, nice weather, nice accommodations, nice attractions (*wink, wink*) and lots of food and drink. Still, the non-stop action still was enough to keep me focused on updating the site’s images, videos, news, features, Kicks of the Day (aghhh!!) and that pesky thing called Twitter (Lang’s clearly taking Twitter by storm since joining the ranks last month, so if you’re following just @SLAMonline, you must also follow @LangWhitaker as well. You must.).

Anyway, to make a long story short, I still have two fat bags to unpack, a quickly growing beard to trim and a tall pile of grapefruit rinds to get the hell out of this room (how could I omit a mention of my mass grapefruit consumption upon my return?!). So here’s the deal. Rather than letting my muse—dubbed Jones, Basketball—direct this further and further and further away from the weekend (of which I’m already exponentially loosing minor details), I’ll give him a break and let the all-encompassing entity that is the internet do its work on me. Yes, if you didn’t know already from checking the notes in Lang’s live blog from last night, the Internet was ruling all of press row during the entire weekend.

The Internet owned us.

It simply was all-powerful. No matter how cool, or experienced or talented you thought you were, the Internet told you that you were wrong. Like that old girlfriend, when you needed her most, she was gone. And all we could do was sob and complain until she felt enough pity to return. It was by far the most frustrating element of the entire shebang, and so I’m going to play a cruel little trick on it—and that’s make it finish the recap for me. A word of warning, the following will seem a bit raw and contrived, but that is the true nature of this maddening beast that is the internet. Some say the internet enlightens…well, I implore you to tell me if you like it better than my buddy Jones, who has so kindly stepped aside for a moment, hopefully to inhabit another basketball mind and provide even better inspiration. Read on, and you’ll hear about the random press buddies I made, why I’m eating so much citrus upon my return, and something about The Lorax. Yup. Without further ado, I present to you the work of The Internet, to whom I am so closely dependent yet so often deeply disdainful. Sounds like a solid muse indeed. Please don’t chide it for its lack of rhythm and random spelling errors. It doesn’t know better. Alright Internet, take this piece away!

*****

by The Internet, All-Star 2009, via Ryne Nelson

I’m going to make you a bet. I bet I can pick any adjective from an online dictionary, and make it work for the experience Lang, Ben and I had over the weekend at All-Star. I’m actually so confident that I can make it happen, I’ll do it with the first six adjectives that can be thrown at me—maybe this is a good idea for a future All-Star recap live blog.

Let me tell you right now, even if this bet/experiment is a bust, it will at least make the weekend’s recap a little more interesting than your typical, 1000 words of basketball terms you’ll find in a search box. So, instead of trying to encompass everything about the 58th annual All-Star Game, I’ll let this handy tool dictate the direction of this piece. The first six “Somewhat Uncommon” words to travel the digital airways onto my screen are what you’ll find below. Learn them. You may never know when you’ll need to impress a friend at a future All-Star Game with some SAT-II-quality words.

And they say you can only lose, not nourish, brain cells while staring at a screen 24 hours a day, eh? Okay, on with the random word generator to help guide us with this All-Star 2009 recap.

Gabby – There’s a reason why they called this “Somewhat Uncommon” list of words. Honestly, I had to guess what this word meant. I said it had something to do with being talkative (Note: Since consulting with Lang, he agrees “talkative” is indeed the word’s definition). In that case, Dwight Howard was all sorts of gabby this weekend, appearing and speaking at virtually every sponsored event. The gregarious destroyer of rims (and opponents’ egos) had virtually the green light to say whatever he wanted. Well, until a couple things happened.

Superboy, as I think he should be called for the time being—at least until The_Real_Superman retires—didn’t have the best weekend on the court thanks to Nate Robinson and Shaq’s pwnage on consecutive nights. I’ll touch on the conspiracy/marketing elements later with a more apropos (how’s that for remembering the good ‘ole 7th Grade vocab list?) word down the line. The long and the short is his super popularity could have been used at his expense, but Dwight’s still the media’s baby. Always smiling and willing to say the same thing over and over and over (and somehow make it interesting every time), Dwight loves the attention and we’re more than happy to give it to him. Then again, what else can you expect from a gabby Superboy?

Glutinous – As I write this, gluttony is on my mind. Yes, it’s a tough life to be eating free food all the time. Not only am I eating free food, but it’s food precisely of this makeup (determined by scientific calculations, careful food scale usage and close readings of nutritional labels):

The only way this weekend could have been better is if the cake and the cheese where combined, but who’s complaining? I heard this was the American traveler’s diet closely resembles that of the Ancient Roman Olympic athletes, anyway. Just give me some olive oil, flyer miles, a couple thousand for cab rides, a video camera and a map with every American city called Rome, and I’ll have you one helluva documentary in a couple years!
Ashy – Going to All-Star makes you ashy on the inside. You’re not literally ashy, covered in soot and dirt (although I wouldn’t count that out, either). Conventional thinkers would find this to be the most difficult adjective—most think of it as Santa Claus at the end of Christmas Eve.

The Information Gods wanted me to look past the ideas that were popping into my head: “Ashy”, when in context of All-Star Weekend, seemed as out of place as the person handing out free McDonald’s at a raw food festival. “Ashy” is a credit card without a serial number. “Ashy” is like the Oscars without the Dark Knight nominated best picture (I just had to throw that in there). The word is like Dikembe Mutombo in the middle of Phoenix’s airport Monday morning, bargaining with kiosk workers to upgrade him to first class, so he can sit with Clyde Drexler because he can’t in economy seating, dammit! He ended up in the exit row…

Clearly, this wasn’t working. But then I thought a little deeper.

Real ash comes from fire, and I definitely came across fire in Phoenix, so there’s something. Flames added to the ambiance at Friday’s night’s T-Mobile party which happened to be pretty nice. Lang, Ben and I ate copious free food grew out of steel buffet cornucopias. We dank and ate and talked beside the warming stanchions on our first night among the Phoenicians. I spent most of the time dining fine on meatloaf (see above), gourmet mini burgers (see above), grits (veggie?) and Grey’s, tonics and limes. In between bites, I talked with Converse reps and a handful of women—all who didn’t have a clue who Amar’e Stoudemire was. Tsk.

The beauty about words is that their meaning changes over time. So, for the purposes of All-Star 2009, let’s derive a slightly different meaning for “ashy.” I think this can catch on…

When you travel, you always are feeling like you’re a hot shower and a change of clothes away from being clean. You share the dirty restrooms. You’re crammed beside the sickest person on planes, who hacks on you every six minutes, on the minute, for the next four hours. You eat ancient preserved food. You’re not allow to move. Still, you appear clean on the outside. You take all of that—the parties, the travel, the random Marv Albert appearances on your plane ride home—and you combine them. By the end, your mind is a busy whirlpool that Dr. Suess’s Lorax would be up in fumes about. That’s part of the fun, though, because these thoughts can be 100 percent recycled into 100 percent great stories and memories. That’s ashy on the inside—an alternate mind frame that leads you to do and say unexpected things, making great memories in the process.

I clearly was a little bit ashy when I called Yao Ming to be All-Star MVP and said, “The West has absolutely no chance of winning” on the ride to U.S. Airways Arena. I wanted to make the gutsy pick so, on the off-chance that the world turned upside down, I’d get the credit for the disaster. After that confused statement, I kept quiet during the actual game. Bravo to Shaq and Kobe.

Socioeconomic – I don’t like to bore with financial specifics, but as everyone says, in these tight economic times, you have to face reality. David Stern answered questions about the NBA and its fiscal situation at his All-Star conference. The good news is ticket sales, attendance and every other financial measure is on pace to meet last season’s. But Stern and Billy Hunter have begun to discuss a re-negotiation of the Collective Bargaining Agreement. Although it doesn’t seem like the League is feeling the affects of the recession at the moment, they’re certainly anticipating the possibility of having to restructure. As Stern said, the NBA is doing very well. The thought that he and Hunter are taking such a pro-active approach to addressing the struggling economy can only be looked upon as a positive.
Nonexempt – As a credentialed media member, there are a lot of things from which you’re exempt. For one, you’re exempt from most restrictions—to locker rooms, practices…the entire “back end” of the performance. You meet players when they’re chilling and have a somewhat real conversations, if you know the right people, and they know you. You’re exempt from finding pregame meals. There’s no waiting in line. You’ll come away with new gear, and you’ll be on the guest list along with the athletes and the celebrities. This is a lot of “Can do.”

But there is a healthy dose of “Cannot Do” as well. The 24 consecutive hours Lang and I spent in airports and on airplanes, trying to get to Arizona, was a trouble that no one could have foreseen… or avoided. It’s simple to get used to everything being quick and easy, and you ask yourself why you’re not flying on a chartered media plane directly to your destination. Media becomes just your regular Joe once it leaves the premises of an event.

The League is non-exempt from the Kobe and Shaq hullabaloo. The LeBron and Kobe MVP questions were still thrown around like rice on a wedding day. David Stern still did his conference with the media. Stephon Marbury, to everyone’s knowledge, was gone, but his name was always a topic of conversation, and the butt of a fair share of jokes. The prevailing basketball mantras were sung over and over.

Seeing others use the weekend to ask the same three or four questions (which of course, have nothing to do with All-Star) seemed like a match only Craig Sager would have an eye for. Kryto-Nate jumping over Superboy, and Dwight using his weakest dunk at the end, essentially conceding defeat?

How about the co-MVPs? Let’s not even get into how predictable that was.

In the end, you’d think it almost a disappointment. But I found the entertainment quotient to be extremely high every night. All-Star Weekend is non-exempt from influence, nor should it be. We’ll never know exactly how things went down for certain, but it doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant guaranteeing this high level of entertainment again!

Uncoupled – There are too many ways to look at this, well, particularly because, according to Webster’s Dictionary, this word could refer to walking dogs…or separating multiple dogs on the same leash. Yes, you read that right.

To be honest, there were hardly any dogs in Phoenix (the extreme opposite of New York City. Sheesh!), but that’s not the reason why All-Star 2009 seemed uncoupled. For one, we were literally uncoupled from the events themselves. The Marriott was a 20-minute highway ride from U.S. Airways Arena. Lang, Ben and I would often forgo the media shuttle bus to hop in with the Arash Markazi from SI. The back seat was incredibly small, and my knees are still buckling from squeezing in there, but a Mitsubishi beats a big bus anyday.

One of the more odd pairings was getting the show without the television. The game without the broadcast is a bit unsettling, but the more games you attend in person, the more natural that becomes. It was just a bit more pronounced over the weekend as multiple events unfurled with little to no warning. There was no one to prepare you for the player announcements. The halftime events (I.e. the summer Olympics tribute) just happened. The quarters wound down unexpectedly. I don’t remember if any team took more than 12 seconds on each possession, but if they did, no voice was announcing the ending possession.

You’d see some interesting pairings at the hotel hospitality suite during the night’s waning hours. Marc Berman from the New York Daily News was one of the coolest writers I met. He immediately seemed like a close friend. K.C. Johnson from the newspaper I grew up reading, TheChicago Tribune, was more than helpful and cordial to me. We had a good conversation—well, it was mostly an interview—about Derrick Rose for my upcoming feature on the Bulls’ rookie. My only regret with K.C. was forgetting to ask the 12 other questions that came to me only after I walked the 10 feet back to my computer. Ben Couch of NJNets.com and I had a decent BBQ diner before the Dunk Contest. He and I kept running into each other in what seemed like hourly occurrences. I’d be very surprised if Sekou Smith and Arthur Triche weren’t the two nicest and most hilarious people in Phoenix this weekend. I met plenty others, and they have nothing to do with being ‘uncoupled,’ but I felt I had to mention them somewhere. Don’t blame me, blame the Internet. It seemed to work as a good retort the past few days.

Monday night, way after midnight. I’m back in NYC on my couch, catching up on “Eastbound and Down” and recovering from another fun All-Star Weekend. I’ve got a ton to catch up on at the office this week, and I have to write a cover story for the next issue of SLAM, like, today. I’ve also got a few people lined up for a podcast later this week to follow up last week’s blockbuster podcast debut. So, I thought I should put some finishing touches on my All-Star thoughts as soon as possible.

After the Finals last year I did a Best and Worst of the Finals column, and I thought I’d wrap up my All-Star experience with another Best and Worst column. Thanks for hanging with us online all weekend everyone and helping us set a commenting record with our liveblog of the game. As fun as it was to be out there covering the events, it was even more fun checking in and reading all your responses and getting to share the weekend with you guys.

And now, without further ado…

WORST CITY LAYOUT
Phoenix, as it turns out, is actually a bunch of smaller cities (North Phoenix, Glendale, Scottsdale, Tempe) which are wildly spread out. I spent over $100 in taxi fares within a three hour period on Saturday afternoon just going between the arena, the LRG suite in Scottsdale and our hotel in Tempe. It was like having the All-Star Game in New York, putting the media in Jersey and having all the parties in Brooklyn. I have a feeling we won’t be returning for an All-Star in Phoenix for a while.

BEST EXAMPLE OF HOW SPREAD OUT PHOENIX IS
On Saturday afternoon in Scottsdale, we were talking to a guy we’d bumped into the night before out in Scottsdale at the T-Mobile party. He said something like, “Man, where was that T-Mobile party last night?” Ben said, “It was in Scottsdale — you were there!” And he said, “Yeah, but I don’t know what city it was in.”

BEST WEATHER
Phoenix. If Phoenix wasn’t more spread out than Europe, I would vote for having All-Star there every year if only because the weather was amazing — in the low 70s every day, sunny, clear…just gorgeous.

BEST HOTEL NAME
The NBA had all the media staying in Tempe at a place called the Marriott Buttes, which was great because we got to call it the Marriott Butts all weekend.

WORST ANIMAL SIGHTING
It was twilight on Saturday night, and Ben and I were leaving the hotel to go to All-Star Saturday Night. As the sun crashed into the desert behind us, I made my way to the media shuttle bus, where I came across a group of three or four NBA volunteers in identical white polyester jackets pointing furiously at the top of a butte rising high behind the media shuttle bus. I hustled outside, curious to see what was going on. Was it a UFO? A pot of gold?

“Look!” said one of the women, urgently. “It’s a black-tipped mountain sheep!”

I took a look and, sure enough, there was some sort of fluffy white animal atop the hill, sitting in the shade on a rock outcropping. There appeared to be some sort of upper body movement going on as well, but I couldn’t clearly discern what was happening.

The three older women in the volunteer jackets were totally engrossed. I asked if there were a lot of mountain sheep around the area.

“No, not really,” the ringleader volunteer said. “It must have escaped from the zoo.” She said this like it was her final answer. This was apparently not open for discussion.

“And the zoo, that’s about two or three miles away,” said one of the other volunteers. “It’s amazing it made it this far.”

Indeed, I thought, it’s amazing that a sheep escaped from the zoo and made it two or three miles and NOBODY SAW A SHEEP RUNNING AWAY FROM THE ZOO!

I still couldn’t get a good view of this alleged sheep, which was about 40 yards away from us high up on this hill. I started thinking about it — isn’t it goats and rams that can live in mountains? Sheep need grass and stuff, right?

“Do you have a camera?” The lead volunteer was desperate to document this. I lied and told her I didn’t have a camera and climbed onto the bus.

The bus driver was a man in his 40s with gray skin, wearing an ill-fitting NBA baseball hat. As I walked past him he said in a conspiratorial whisper, “Hey buddy, you know that’s not a sheep, right?”

“I can’t even see it,” I said. “What is it then?”

“It’s a cat,” he said, disgust ringing in his voice.

I laughed and asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he responded, smiling. “Sheep don’t lick themselves.”

So that’s what that sheep was doing! And from then on, we referred to the animal as The Sheep/Cat.

BEST CONSPIRACY THEORY
So why did Dwight Howard let Nate Robinson dunk on him? Good question. The explanation I came up with immediately was simple and, I think, plausible: They both have the same agent. And it wouldn’t hurt Dwight or their agent to make Nate more marketable, would it?

WORST MOVIE
Soon after our flight took off this morning from Phoenix to Houston, a bunch of small screens dropped from the ceiling and a movie began showing. Which movie? “Flash of Genius,” starring Greg Kinnear as the man who invented windshield wipers. I swear. Someone in Hollywood decided this was a movie people would clamor to see in theaters. I lasted literally 10 seconds.

Then in Houston we changed planes and got on a 3 hour flight to New York City. And the movie on the second flight? “Flash of Genius.”

BEST SONG
I am not judging this song by any means, but the song I heard about 200 times over the weekend — at parties, on the radio, coming from other cars — was Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance.” Ne-Yo made a late run with “Closer,” but this was Lady Gaga’s weekend.

WORST RULE
What was the deal in the dunk contest when Rudy Fernandez tried and missed that dunk for 2 minutes…and then they announced, “OK, now he has two more tries!”

BEST USE OF NEW MEDIA
During the 40 minutes all the All-Stars were doing media availability, I was sprinting around trying to find guys momentarily alone enough for me to get in for a few seconds with my video camera for this video.

While I was talking to Tony Parker, I felt my Sidekick start vibrating. I glanced down and saw that Ben was calling me. I knew Ben was on the court somewhere and couldn’t figure out why he was calling me, because he knew I was on deadline trying to get as much video as possible. I excused myself from Tony and answered the phone.

“AI cut off his hair,” Ben said. I looked around and saw Iverson just walking out onto the floor, so I ran over and followed him as he looked for a place to sit and talk to the media. As he found a seat and mentioned that he was sending his hair to his Mom, I used my Sidekick to throw up a post on my twitter page:

ai cut his braids off this morning. said he’s sending them to his mom.

After the media session ended, Ben googled “Allen Iverson braids” to see what was going on and saw that AOL had me breaking the news via twitter.

When Al Gore invented the internets, I’m pretty sure he never thought they’d be used like this.

WORST JUDGE OF AGE
The first leg of our ill-fated trip out to Phoenix was supposed to be a quick flight from New York City to Washington D.C. From D.C. we were going to connect on a flight out to Phoenix. The plane from NYC to DC was a small plane, one of those with about 40 seats. Ryne and I were assigned seats next to each other, but once they closed the door and we realized the plane was less than half-full, I moved up to an empty exit row seat so I could stretch out. I immediately fell asleep, as I often do on airplanes, and takeoff was delayed a little over 2 hours. We finally took off and landed, and I de-planed and waited for Ryne. A few minutes later, Ryne exited, chatting to a rather lovely young lady. I didn’t want to interrupt anything, until I heard the girl mention she was in high school. Whoa!

BEST CELEBRITY SIGHTING
Flying out of the All-Star Game city is almost always a hassle, so Ryne and I got up early and got the Phoenix airport at 8:30 a.m. for our 11:20 a.m. flight. Of course, there was nobody in the airport and by about 8:32 a.m. we were through security with nothing to do. After we killed an hour with Hawks VP Arthur Triche at a café, we all headed off to our gates. I dropped my bags and went off to find a bathroom. A few minutes later I was walking back, and I noticed a really tall guy with only a backpack and a PlayStation 3 in a box just ahead of me. He turned and looked at me and I heard a dull roar. I looked up and it was Dikembe Mutombo.

He was on our flight to Houston and stuck in coach, which he wasn’t happy about. I was happy about it, however, because I got to hear Dikembe complain for about 15 minutes. Even better, I got Arthur to come over so I could say, in front of Dikembe, “Hey Triche, you still work for Hawk?”

BEST CELEBRITY INTERACTION
Around 2 a.m. at the T-Mobile party, my man Arash Markazi from SI.com said, “Hey, it’s Matt Kemp from the Dodgers.” As one of the world’s biggest Dodgers fans, Ben nearly dropped his beer and immediately announced he was going to go and talk to him because he wanted to get Kemp in SLAM (he was a big-time basketball player in high school and played with Shelden Williams). I knew Ben was a little twisted by this point and tried to talk him out of it, or at least to let me go over talk to him, but Ben insisted. It all worked out well in the end, but Ben later said one of Kemp’s first lines was, “Are you OK?”

WORST FORCED INVOLVEMENT
The Harlem Globetrotters. At All-Star media availability, when we all have a short amount of time to get as many interviews as possible, five players from the Harlem Globetrotters showed up in uniform and spent the entire time forcing their way into interacting with the real All-Stars. Why in the world were the Harlem Globetrotters around? Because they’re based in Phoenix, apparently. Of course. So now the economy’s so bad the Globetrotters were outsourced to Phoenix?

BEST OVERHEARD LINE AT A PARTY
Late one night at one of the parties, I needed to hit the bathroom. I walked down a hallway and noticed the women’s restroom was closed off so the custodial staff could clean it. I turned the corner to the men’s room and saw two ladies entering the restroom. The men’s restroom. Hmm.

I wasn’t sure how to react. Should I wait patiently? Should I barge in and perhaps catch these two ladies in the midst of something?

Being a Southern gentleman at heart, I waited. So I stood there in the hall, alone, patiently wondering what in the world was happening, when two other guys came walking up.

“Is there a line?” one of them asked me.

“I guess,” I said. “Actually, two girls just went in there and, well, I thought I’d at least give them a few minutes before barging in.”

“F that,” one of these fine young men responded. He pushed open the door slightly and all three of us stuck our heads in the door. One of the girls was standing just inside the door, I guess on guard duty. The other girl was in the toilet stall, on her knees, facing the toilet.

“Hurry up,” yelled the girl on guard, noticing us. “Just go ahead and throw up. My house is only 15 minutes away. Throw up now and then we’ll be at my place in no time.”

Without question, Shaq’s entrance was the best in the 58 years of All-Star history. This dance with the JabbaWockeeZ is destined for YouTube lore. Shaq’s playing like an MVP tonight, but this dance essentially clinched the award before the opening tip–we know All-Star can’t be the same without the Big Cactus! Check the way Shaq pulls off the warmups. 10/10.

• About an hour before tipoff I was walking around under the stands and walked past the press room and heard someone speaking. I walked in and found Sen. John McCain stading there talking to about 10 reporters, so I walked up and listened in. When someone asked him to choose his favorite player in the NBA, I heard his wife, Cindy, groan, as if she knew there was no way for him to answer and keep everyone happy. He answered but gave a couple of choices. Once a politician, always a politician.

• Love that TNT is preceding the All-Star Game with The Rock. Fantastic movie.

• Everyone’s ready to go, it seems. Just caught up with Ernie Johnson who says he’s feeling great and sends his best to SLAM’s readers.

• The East just came out to shootaround to “Roc Boyz.” L’chaim! I’m guessing nobody at the NBA knows what that song’s about?

• The West came out to the more conventional “Bring ‘Em Out.”

• Melanie Collins is not a game.

• Craig Sager drank a bottle of Pepto-Bismol and vomited it all over his jacket. I think the color of his jacket should be called Pepto-Abysmal.

• Aiight, had some techincal difficulties there, mainly because I’ve been using the same laptop for the last 5 years and now it would just be faster if I used an Etch-a-Sketch instead of this thing.

Weird stuff is happening…my computer is slower than Shaq tonight and I can’t get a wireless signal. So I’m out You guys want to keep talking it out in the comments, go for it.

I shoulda got a PC.

• I’m briefly working again. Everyone loves Bill Russell — except for me, because when I was a kid and asked for an autograph he said no and was really a jerk about it. And now he sells his autographs. Classy!

Aiight, even though my computer kinda died in the first half, I’m gonna keep on taking notes and add them later, or as my computer deems ready.

• Halftime. John Legend and Juanes. If you’re out there, play a faster song, please. Zzz…

• Uh-oh, he just went to a faster song…that nobody knows.

• Jimmy O’Donnell and Brian Benson, if you’re out there…hook a dude up.

• One advantage of being here live: I can’t hear Reggie Miller.

• So Kobe (13) and Pierce (14) are leading scorers at the half. David West has fewest minutes played with 6:22.

• BTW, someone told me that Luis Scola is rolling completely posse-less out here and has been seen a few places (hotel bar, Hooters) sitting alone and eating or having a drink.

• Redeem Team tribute…to “Bittersweet Symphony.” Kinda cool to see them all here together…well, most of them. Now Coach K is on the scoreboard with a video tribute to Redeem Team. He also urged them to buy his latest book and to use the products he endorses. LeBron’s cutting up during Jerry Colangelo’s speech. I wish Colangelo would snap, “HEY! PAY ATTENTION, DAMMIT!”

• I’m testing out sitting in Ben’s seat instead of mine — perhaps I was in a dead zone?

• Ah, maybe so!

• We have better seats for the NBA All-Star Game than we do for a regular season Knicks game.

• Donald Faison bricked a couple of threes at the end of the half.

• Second half opens with “Crazy Train.” The East has a ways to go here.

• AI begins the second half by shooting a layup over the backboard.

• The West is actually running plays. Iso for Yao Ming and he hits over KG.

• LeBron! With the shot he almost dunks, gets fouled and then does a lefty windmill layup!

• After Duncan threw that pass two feet over Yao’s head he shrugged and tried to give him five — and they missed that, too.

• Kobe. 3. LeBron. 2.

• Yao and Dwight go down in a tangle. We hear the people in Orlando gasp from here. They’re both fine.

• They keep showing a great fake infomercial in the arena with NBA players singing love songs — Shaq singing “Carribbean Queen,” Amare singing “That’s Amore,” etc. Just looked for it on YouTube but no luck.

• The Kiss Cam segment included Jay and Beyonce. Beyonce gave the camera the stink eye and Jay held up the dynasty sign. Really. Mediatakeout will have a whole post about that tomorrow.

• Shaq is back and scores. Mo Williams for three.

• Kobe makes a layup and screams “Oh sh*t,” which gets picked up on the mics and broadcast throughout the arena.

• Shaq iso’s on Dwight Howard and hits CP for a long two.

• Shaq pulls the give-and-go with Chris Paul which the East kinda lets happen. Shaq’s like the oldest guy in the Teacher-Student game who the crowd is cheering for.

• Now that I’ve got internet access I’m afraid to move my computer at all. The problem is that I’ve got it in my lap and it’s searing a burn into my left thigh. I’m live-blogging this game even if my pants catch on fire!

• Corbin Bleu is here again. Can we just call him Corbin Bleh?

• The West players came out of the timeout and I swear I saw Chauncey texting someone.

• Joe Johnson is back! I just want him to score at least 1 point.

• The West is dominating, 109-89. 59 seconds to go in the third.

• I love Shaq, but he manages to disrupt he flow of his own team’s offense even in an All-Star game.

• After three, it’s 110-91, West. Disappointing that T-Mac hasn’t had a good game thus fa…whoops!

• Yes, whoever asked, Roy and Chauncey are both wearing number 7.

• Bennie the Bull won’t stop messing with Ludacris on the sideline. He might be the only mascot gangsta enough to not be afraid of Luda.

• 116-99, West, with 9:14 to go. Other than Shaq being Shaqciting, it’s been a rather uneventful game. Still, Shaq and JabbaWockeeeezzzzzzzz was pretty dope. And then the game started.

• Chris Tucker plays the game on the scoreboard during the TO. What is a “saquaro?” On tape, Shaq says it is where he originated, the land of the cactus. CP3 says it’s “something sharp, like a sword.” DWade says a fish. Dwight says it’s a hat. Amare says it’s similar to a dust storm. Chris Tucker chooses cactus, and he’s right. Yao Ming loves this from the huddle.

• Back to live action. LeBron is back and going to take a shot at closing this gap. Three-point play, good. West leads 120-104.

• Writers are bailing out left and right. Bron misses a big dunk, then Dwight misses a three, then Wade gets a follow dunk.

• You can tell Phil Jackson is coaching the West because even the East’s points are way more exciting, the West is just more effective and not as compelling.

• 124-106, West. 5:55 to go.

• The game is so boring now that I’m googling Melanie Collins. Literally, not figuratively. Found the link of the day, though.

• Anyone else have a feeling this is what a postseason Phil/Mike Brown match-up could be like?

• Dwight rips Kobe then clears it out to go one-on-one…and turns it over.

• 136-114, 2:09 to go.

• Chris Paul catches an oop! Can we turn out the lights yet?

• OK, can Joe Johnson get just 2 points? He wants the ball…and CP3 steals it and misses the dunk.

• Amare/é/’e with the windmill to punctuate the win. Then Brandon Roy with the oop. They should’ve started doing this about 15 minutes ago.

• Bron on the clear-out for the huge flush.

• And that’s it. Final score is West 146, East 119. Kobe led the way with 27, so from a basketball standpoint he probably deserves the MVP. But from an entertainment standpoint, the MVP should totally go to Shaq. My solution? Co-MVPs, Shaq and Kobe.

• And the MVP goes to…Shaq and Kobe! I actually called that in the car three hours ago in the car on the way to the game. What!

• Shaq says he’s just happy to be here. Kobe says it was “fun, it was fun” playing with Shaq again. Will Ernie ask Kobe how Shaq’s ass taste?

• Apparently not.

So that’s it from Phoenix. Hope you guys had fun tonight and thanks for being with us. We’ll have some wrap-up material in the next few days…

Amar’e Stoudemire has been looking forward to this weekend since it was announced. He signed up for parties, charity events and even signed up to do a blog for us, all out of enthusiasm for a weekend he rightly considered himself an ambassador for (Shaq has been amazing all weekend, too, but it was a reach to think he’d be here; Amar’e was a lock all year). It should’ve been a great weekend for Amar’e (and personally, I’m sure it has been), but as this article explains, it has to have been a drag professionally.

Annoying enough he has to listen to all the Terry Porter stuff, but to be the subject to trades himself, this weekend, is in pretty poor taste. I realize that if the Suns want to remake their team and the trade deadline days away, it was somewhat inevitable, but I think Kerr and Sarver could have done a nicer job.

Amar’e’s big charity push started Friday morning with a brunch held at Stoudemire’s Restaurant for the Phoenix Ronald McDonald House that I attended. The brunch found Amar’e in great form, cracking jokes with teammate Alando Tucker, taking questions and generally being a great ambassador for the House. Guests paid $125 to attend, and then additional money was raised through a silent auction that featured great All-Star-themed items acquired through Amar’e’s obvious juice with the game’s best players.

As the brunch wound down I chatted with Nancy Roach, the Executive Director of Ronald McDonald House Charities of Phoenix. She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. “This is a new relationship we have with Amar’e, and we’re so happy about it,” she said. “He’s been aware of Ronald McDonald House since he visited one when he played in the McDonald’s Game in New York, but this partnership is new. People perceive great athletes as very cool, and if you have one endorse your cause, it’s a big help. A public event like this is a giant positive.”

I couldn’t tell how much of a basketball fan Roach is, but she clearly knew that Amar’e has been in the news regarding possibly being shipped out of town. Willing to take one for the RMHC Team, so to speak, she didn’t seem fazed. “All the Houses around the country are run separately, but we all endorse each other. So, if he were to get traded to another city he could easily work with the Ronald McDonald House in that city.”

This event was Friday morning. Amar’e then went through the media availability Friday afternoon, the partying Friday night, and the media and practice time yesterday morning before embarking on another charitable venture. I wasn’t able to make the second event I’m referring to, but it was a skills clinic at a local school where he teamed with Nike to share “insights, tips and details about the grassroots support that helped him reach the NBA,” according to Nike. He and Nike also teamed up to donate money to the local Native American community through the Nike-supported Let Me Play on Native Lands Fund.

You want to mock the way Amar’e Stoudemire plays defense? Okay. Just don’t talk any junk about the way he conducted himself this weekend. As Roach said to me, “He’s a very gracious individual with a great heart. He understands he has a special opportunity.”

Dwyane Wade will wear a special version of the Converse WADE Slash in the All-Star Game tonight. Named “Slash” after Wade’s explosive playing style, the shoes are lightweight and capture Dwyane’s off-court style.

This colorway Dwyane is not available at retail, but the WADE Slash is can be found in four colorways for $80 at converse.com.

OK, we’re live here for the Saturday night smorgasboard of events. I’m not sure but I think I just saw Michael Cooper wearing a Lakers uniform and pink shoes. Anyway, let’s get it started in here…

• Just got a text from my wife who said, “Why are there lots of old people on the court throwing balls?” I don’t have an answer for her.

• Spurs PR man Tom James asked for a shoutout in the live blog. Here it is.

• I can’t believe Tim Duncan is involved in the Shooting Stars competition. They must’ve uploaded a virus into his mainframe. I also think Bill Laimbeer was smoking a cigarette on the bench.

• I think the Shooting Stars thing is over. I just watched it and I don’t know who won or anything. Ben said Detroit just won. Congrats. Can we just start the Dunk Contest? And what time tonight do we start the Drunk Contest?

• Now we’re into the Skills Challenge. Devin Harris, Mo Williams, Derrick Rose and Tony Parker, who got a healthy boo from the fans here. The participants seem fired up by the pregame music, “Old Time Rock And Roll.”

• Devin Harris up first. Finishes in 36.9 seconds — kinda disappointing. I guess we should just be glad he didn’t get hurt.

• Mo Williams up next, once “99 Luftbaloons” stops playing. Really. Mo does it in 37.5. I think Tony’s gonna take this.

• D-Rose in the house. 2-2 on his first two passes. Finishes in 33.3.

• Tony up now to loud boos. He can’t do anything right. He finishes in just over 50 seconds. Ugh. Too bad, now he has to go sit with Eva Longoria.

• During the TV timeout, here in the arena they showed on the scoreboard a paddle ball contest between Jason Kapono, Dwight Howard, Chris Bosh and Amare/é/’e Stoudemire. Kapono won it.

• FInal round. Harris struggles to make a jumper and finishes in 39.7.

• Derrick Rose wins it and punctuates it with a double-pump reverse. Even he’s ready for the Dunk Contest to start.

• wow derrick rose is so charismatic that was great and fun to watch awesome.

• I don’t know what’s going on here. A little kid is playing “Lovely Day” on a saxaphone. He’s pretty good, actually.

• Time for the Three-Point Shootout. Bibby, Cook, Granger, Kapono, Lewis, Mason. I’m pulling for Bibby but don’t think he has much of a chance. Granger might struggle because he’s used to being unguarded because everyone knows he can’t beat them alone. Tonight he could.

• My computer is tripping. Cook had 18, Rashard Lewis had 17, Bibby 14, and Granger just laid a brick with 13. I knew it.

• Weird, there’s a guy in the arena doing play-by-play announcing while the guy’s are shooting — I don’t ever remember that before, and it’s really distracting.

• Mason ends with 13, which means Mason and Granger are dunzo.

• Kapono goes for 16 and squeaks into the final round with Lewis and Cook.

• I don’t like the money balls. What happened to the red-white-and-blue balls?

• Just walked out to get a Coke and walked by the practice court, and I saw Rudy Fernandez and Pau Gasol practicing a dunk where Pau stood under hte basket and tossed it behind his back to Rudy. Not very exciting. As Stephon said on the podcast the other day, “Who’s that gonna fly with?”

• OK, so while I was out, Lewis went for 15 and Kapono for 14. Now Cook is up. 1 point on first rack. 3 after the second, 7 after three, 10 after four, 15 after five. Tie!

• Lewis leads off the tiebreaker. 0 after first, 0 after two, 4 after three, 6 after four, 7 after five. Ugh.

• Rudy! Some sort of tribute to the first Spanish player in the NBA — kinda fresh but he gets a 42. They follow it with racist music of castanets.

• Here we go again! Nate double-pumps then gets a crazy 46. Dwight gets a 50? Even the fans here in the arena are booing. Russ must be rolling over in his grave.

• Internet here is as slow as this evening. Rudy up next. The NBA PR staff just passed out a bio of Fernando Martin — guess they knew that “tribute” was coming. Pau bounces six passes off the bottom of the backboard and ends up not being able to make one. Somewhere in Spain, a young child just angrily took off a Rudy Fernandez jersey in disgust.

• This makes no sense. Time ran out and that apparently meant he got two more chances? And another 42?

• JR Smith in the heezy. This is strange. 42 for JR — I’m with that.

• The Dunk Contest is jumping the shark before my eyes.

• Well, that was kinda cool. Impressive. A long set-up though. I guess at least it was entertaining, instead of just Rudy Fernandez and Pau Gasol clanging balls off the backboards.

• Nate just changed into a green Knicks uniform.

• Why does Dwight get to use a Broadway production worth of props but nobody else is allowed to?

• Kryptonite! And then Nate just broke out one of the coolest dunks I’ve ever seen him do. That was cool.

• Whoa. Dwight.

• OK, last round. Nate has a kryptonite ball. Dwight has a cape on. Nate jumped over him and this place exploded. That was pretty amazing.

• Dwight’s up. He’s clearing out the NBA dance teams who are scattered all over the court. Maybe he’s jumping from the free throw line? Yes…well, no, not really. I think Nate just won the dunk contest.

• Nate wins. Yes he did.

Thanks everyone for hanging out here tonight. Catch you ohere tomorrow night for the Game.

It’s 3:42 a.m. according to my body clock, and it’s just past 1:30 a.m. here in Phoenix, so I’m gonna keep this quick.

Ryne and I left the Rookie/Sophomore Game and hooked up with my main man Arash Markazi from SI. We all three headed over to a hotel in Scottsdale where T-Mobile and Dwyane Wade were throwing a party. Once we made it through the velvet ropes, we were asked to walk the red carpet. Right. we turned a corner and found Katy Perry standing there, vamping for the cameras. I led the rest of us behind the cameras and out to the party, where we found Yao Ming kicking it in front of a roaring fire and my main man Sal Masekela chilling on a stage. Sal was there to emcee the event for what they’re calling Shot Of A Lifetime, which was to launch a contest where one lucky fan and five of their friends will have the chance to play HORSE against D-Wade at the Eastern Conference Finals, with the opportunity to win $50,000. (Find out more here or text MYSHOT to 72579 to enter.)

To demonstrate the event, or something, they had several celebrities, including the lovely Eliza Dushku and that guy from “Scrubs” who’s at every NBA event, and some people I’d never heard of (Zach Levi?) awkwardly shoot some hoops with D-Wade. Then they cleared out and Katy Perry took the stage. She sang a bunch of songs nobody knew and then closed it out with “I Kissed A Girl,” which, unfortunately, did not produce the rumored effect all over the dance floor (though Perry did smooch some chick in the front row). There were a few hundred people there but not so many that we couldn’t basically just walk right up to the stage and get a good view of the, ahem, festivities.

After Katy finished, my main man (and ATLien) Jermaine Dupri (left) got behind the wheels of steel and starting spinning, mixing old and new and even getting Terrell Owens up behind the ones and twos with him. Oh, and the Jabberwockees, or whatever their name is, took over the dance floor for a while and made everyone at the party feel bad for trying to dance.

Ben came back from his Reebok event and met up with us, and he allowed Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp to provide the line of the night. Also saw Alonzo Mourning, Gabrielle Union and…well, I can’t remember. It’s too late.

Now I’m beat. And I have to get up in a few hours and get back on my grind.

Adidas is kicking off All-Star with with three exclusive videos recorded by none other than Dwight Howard. They’re a preview of the all-access coverage D12 will be producing all weekend, so stay tuned as Dwight and his camera travel around Phoenix. As part of adidas’ “Inside PHX with Dwight Howard” series, the 2009 leading vote getter: 1) Thanks fans for voting for him, 2) Previews the dunk contest in PHX, and 3) Gives his seal of approval for his new television spot. Behold…

Aiight kids, we’re here live and direct from Phoenix, about five rows behind the basket. These are the best seats we’ve ever had for All-Star. ot sure if that speaks to SLAM’s ever-increasing importance or the fact that nobody’s here this year to cover All-Star. Either way, we in the house.

• Just found out that Greg Oden’s not playing in the Rookie/Sophomore Game. Right now he’s sitting with Rudy Fernandez on the bench watching warm-ups. The two oldest Rookies in the history of this game, right?

• If I fall asleep while doing this live blog, please live with me. I’ve slept about 4 hours total in the last two days — didn’t sleep at all last night in the airport in DC. Not a fun night.

• While walking through the arena a few minutes ago I bumped into Dwight Howard, who was rocking a nice suit and being trailed by an NBA camera crew. He said he was getting ready to coach tonight. I should’ve asked him if was going to try and look like a male pornstar like his own coach. But I didn’t.

• Apparently Oden injured himself when he bumped knees with Corey Maggette in the fourth quarter of the Portland/G-St game. It took him a few months, but Maggette finally made an impact.

• Cedric Ceballos is the emcee for tonight’s event. I wish they handed out blindfolds to everyone.

• One-half of the lower section of stands here is filled with screaming teenagers wearing pink T-Mobile jerseys. The rest of the stands are pretty much empty. Hopefully TNT puts the cameras on the opposide side of the court so the seats look full.

• I just switched the TV on our table to TNT to see what was on and it’s Alyssa Milano talking on the phone wearing a belly shirt. I briefly thought it was Embrace Of The Vampire before realizing it’s an episode of “Charmed.” Crap.

• I’m so tired I feel like I’m drunk. These notes could be awesome.

• Ben’s thrilled about the mascot dunk contest happening right now. I heard Bennie the Bull was at that party with Michael Phelps.

• The Rookies are on the floor. Marc Gasol just popped the head off one of hte little kids in the stands and drank their blood. It was kinda graphic.

• I was just thinking that the Rookies might actually be older than the Sophomores, considering they have Marc Gasol, Rudy and Oden. Then I saw Luis Scola on the Sophomores and realized there was no way the Rookies could be older.

• If Al Horford gets injured in the game I’m gonna be pissed.

• I’m not sure who this is singing the National Anthems, but I’d sure like to twitter.

• OK, finally, time for tip-off. Cedric Ceballos actually just asked all the kids to scream when the TNT broadcast starts. Not sure what’s up with D-Wade’s outfit.

• Wade’s pretty good at introducing the players. I was really hoping he wouldn’t know who one of the players was. Dwight’s even better than Wade, mainly because you get the sense Dwight does this all the time when watching games at home.

• For MVP, I’m going with Kevin Durant. He kills guys ten years older than him all the time, so why shouldn’t he be able to dominate this game?

• I think these guys are wearing 3D socks.

• Gasol came out hacking! Eric Gordon is going to score all the ponts for the Rooks.

• Wade looks like he got dressed in Cornell West’s closet.

• Horford’s out already. Good. Get that man out of there and let him rest. 13-7 Sophs.• Just noticed we’re playing 20 minute halves here. Whatever hurries this thing along, I’m all for it. These kids seem to really be enjoying themselves. I can’t hear out of my right ear. Thanks NBA, but I might pass ont his game next year.

• I think Bennie the Bull just slung some product during the break.

• 13:30 to go and Dwight empties the bench for the Sophs. He’s getting outcoached right now — Rooks lead 23-18.

• Wilson Chandler should be good for this game since both teams seem to be using Mike D’Antoni’s defensive philosophies.

• Rooks up 31-24. Marc Gasol, from Parts Unknown, with his second foul.

• The kids started chanting something that sounded like “Rock-et!” I briefly thought that Roger Clemens might be here.

• Bull Lopez puts the Sophs up 10 with 7 minutes to go in the half. Dwight Howard has a lot of coaching to do.

• That new Jordan commercial is a little derivative of the opening of Saving Private Ryan, right?

• Amare/é/’e just made an appearance and the kids screamed. Then they traded him.

• Oh no, at halftime Corbin Bleu from High School Musical is going to perform. Some of these kids might pass out.

• OJ from way downtown. Rookies are up 8 and SLAM Rookie Diary Keeper Eric Gordon has a decade.

• Halftime. Rooks up 61-58. I’m going somewhere quiet for a few minutes.

• Perfect timing — missed all of Corbin Bleu.

• Arash just gave me the SI Swimsuit Issue. I’ll be back in about ten minutes.

• Back. As is this game.

• Rooks up 70-63. I think Dwight’s more concerned with Dwyane’s T-Mobile party in a few hours.

• Apparently TNT GM Chris Wallace traded LeBron for Pau Gasol.

• Just found out from NBA PR big guy Brian McIntyre that I’m on the MVP panel for this game. Better put down the swimsuit issue and start watching. Think they’ll be mad if I vote for Al Horford?

• Durant tried to lob it off the glass to Aaron Brooks, who apparently can’t dunk.

• If the Thunder want me to vote for Kevin Durant, Clay Bennett better show me the money. Also, I can’t vote for Rudy Fernandez because the Blazers aparently send out mad swag but never send any to the SLAM Dome.

• Shaq is in the house.

• Here comes KD. Sophs pull to 89-82.

• Bang! Another KD three (his third in the last minute) makes it 89-87. I think he just set the scoring record for this game with 12 minutes to go.

• They just did a think on court about kids being active and it was sponsored by flavor-blasted goldfish crackers.

• Chris Bosh in the house.

• Aw man, I just missed that new T-Mobile commercial with Barkley and Wade and Dwight. I wonder if they’ll replay it?

• Horford again! 91 all. then Jeff Green hits a three to give the sophomores a 94-91 lead. Beasley with a sick reverse to make it 96-93, Sophs.

• Gordon is killing it tonight. Stuckey responds. Bull Lopez with the dunk to make it 100-97, Sophs, with 8:03 to go.

• So who do you guys think should get my vote as MVP? Durant if they win, right? And I’m thinking Gordon if the Rooks take it. Any arguments?

• So now KD has the record with 37 pts. BTW, Amare has a restaurant across the street called Stoudemire’s. I want to go there and order the microfracture salad.

• OJ for three makes it a 9 point game. Rooks get the ball back and turn it over. D-Wade hops off the bench and claps his hands in anger. Dwight and the entire Sophs team are off the bench and cheering.

• Rudy Fernandez puts a little too much serrano on a layup and misses.

• Durant looks tired. Beasley hits a three to make it 112-108, Sophs, with 2:29 to go. Dwight calls a 20. I’d take a full and get my guys some rest, but I’m not coaching.

• Out of the timeout the Sophs get Jeff Green free on a curl and pounds the dunk. OJ misses an ill-advised three.

• 1:24 to go and the Sophs up 114-110, and I just had to vote for MVP. In the interest of full disclosure, I voted for Kevin Durant. Now I just hope they win and I don’t look dumb.

• OK, I dont look dumb (at least not because of my vote). Durant with the tomhawk reverse! Then he goes to the line and hits two to give him 46 points.

• And that’s that. The Sophs win it 122 to 116. Anyone not sure about Kevin Durant being worthy to play in the big game on Sunday? He finishes with 45 points (on 17 of 25 from the floor), 7 boards and 4 assists. In 31 minutes! I voted good.

We’re gonna run, but we’ll be back either late tonight or at some point tomorrow with notes from all the events tonight. Later…

They say timing (and placement) is everything: “O.J. Mayo will be larger than life during the NBA’s All-Star Weekend. That’s the Grizzlies’ goal for the rookie as the franchise unveiled three different O.J. Mayo billboards Thursday in Phoenix as part of a Rookie of the Year campaign.”

Cool story about how Rick Welts, now a high-ranking Suns exec, helped bring the Dunk Contest to the League’s signature weekend more than twenty years ago: “Welts pitched a second event day with an old-timers game and slam dunk contest to Stern, who in turn pitched the idea to outgoing commissioner Larry O’Brien. ‘It did not go over very well,’ Welts said. But Stern called back two weeks later and said, “If it doesn’t cost the league a penny and if you don’t embarrass the commissioner on his last weekend, we could see if we could put it together.”

Kevin Harlan on his broadcast partner for tonight’s festivities: “I would be stunned if LeBron doesn’t find a comfort level fairly quickly and doesn’t enjoy himself,” Harlan said. “It will not be a traditional broadcast. We’ll touch on who’s out there, have him talk about these guys and stay within the framework of the game. But I think this guy has a lot to say and hopefully he’ll feel comfortable in that setting. I think working with Kenny will put him at ease.”

So, you want a taste of the real behind-the-scenes of All-Star Weekend? What it’s like to rub shoulders with the big shots and be a part of all the excitement and glory and glamour?

Well don’t look at me. Right now it’s 11:48 p.m. here on the East Coast and Ryne and I are living large in the C concourse of Dulles Airport. I usually try to stay at least at little vague about my whereabouts, lest some of you wacky Linkstigators prank call me or something, but tonight I will tell you exactly where I am: Gate C5 at Dulles Airport in Washington DC. Try and find me here, why don’t you. I think it’s safe to say I’ve never spent an evening in a more secure environment, except for maybe the time I spent the night at a jail in downtown Atlanta trying to help bail out a guy I didn’t really even know.

Anyway, why are we here? Well, long story. Actually, it’s not a long story but I don’t want to tell it because I’m not happy that we’re here. We were supposed to fly from New York to DC and then DC to Phoenix. The flight out of NYC was delayed, of course. I hate connecting flights. I never ever ever ever want to take connecting flights. I wrote about this at length a few months ago. But we ended up on a connecting flight. (Somehow, because he flew from Newark and not NYC, Ben is on a direct flight that should get into Phoenix tonight. Then again, he had to go to Newark, so maybe a direct flight is redemption enough.)

We spent from 8:15 p.m until about 10:45 p.m. in a customer service line, which provided the bare minimum of service, it seemed. One woman snapped and started screaming at the employees in Spanish and then refused to leave the desk, which certainly pepped things up.

Anyway, best case scenario, Ryne and I could be on the ground in Phoenix tomorrow before noon local time. Worst case scenario we get there around midnight. The only good news is that the worst case scenario is exactly that — we’re booked and have tickets and everything for that late night arrival. Hopefully we can get in there early. I’ll start dropping posts and twittering as soon as I get there. In the meantime, Ben will be there tonight so he can hit you with updates tomorrow.

In the meantime, All-Star Weekend is beginning. One thing I’ve been thinking about: What’s going to happen? We talk so much about everything but the actual game. I’ve got a feeling that D-Wade is due to break out and cop an MVP award. Who wins the dunk contest? Who wins the three-point shootout? Let me know what you guys think. I’ve got nothing better to do.

… Are all former Suns players: “Saturday’s 2009 Sprite Slam Dunk Contest will have a decidedly Suns feel to it. All-Star Saturday’s annual jamming exhibition will be judged by a cast of celebrated former Suns standouts. Ring of Honor members and former All-Stars in their day, Kevin Johnson, Dan Majerle and Tom Chambers, will be on hand to grade the contestants’ dunks. In addition to those players, Larry Nance and Cedric Ceballos, who both took home dunk contest titles to Phoenix as Suns, will be seated in the judges’ chairs as well.”

Is anyone else surprised how quickly Dwight Howard has moved to the front of the class in the NBA’s popularity race? What happened to LeBron? DWade and his funny ads? Chris Bosh’s OG viral assault on the L? Apparently all it takes is a 6-10 center with arms the size of tree trunks donning a Superman cape and dropping 20 and 14 and you’re the man. Just like that.

As the coolest cat at the All-Star game this year in Phoenix, Howard will be offering up first-hand footage of his experience all week, on adidas’ site, as this video suggests. Below, I’ve got the big man’s schedule, so you can see exactly what he’ll be sharing footage of as the All-Star weekend progresses. It starts with the release of the “Man Child” and Real Talk (with Kevin Garnett) videos that dropped on Monday. Check the rest:

Fri., Feb. 13: Dwight will immediately start his all-access weekend with his T-Mobile, updating the tiniest amounts of info (what he’s eating and listening to) to the largest (his involvement with NBA Cares in the afternoon and in the Rookie-Sophomore game that night) straight to the adidas basketball website. Dwight will also be interfacing with his fans via Twitter and Flickr.

Sat., Feb. 14: Dwight will host a VIP media event, bringing technology to the court. That technology will specifically be TECHFIT PowerWeb and Padded compression gear. TECHFIT is part of the 2009 All-Star uniform and on Saturday, the league will announce that TECHFIT is now the official compression gear for the NBA. Then on Saturday night, Dwight will defend his slam dunk title. Again, he’ll be updating continuously on adidas’ site all day.

Sun., Feb. 15: Dwight will take his spot in the starting lineup for the East in his third All-Star game appearance and of course, will be adding footage to the adidas site on his experience there. Maybe he won’t add footage while he’s playing (that would be tough), but keep checking the site. I’m sure someone at the stripes will be tracking their main man while he does his thing.

And I thought I’d leave you with a few behind-the-scenes shots from the “Man Child” video shoot, taken by famed sports photographer Walter Iooss, Jr.

Ugh: “So it shouldn’t surprise — especially as all sports are scrambling to find new places to hang “for sale” signs given the current economy — that the NBA’s first H-O-R-S-E contest won’t use those letters. As that contest joins dunking and three-point shooting contests as part of TNT’s NBA All-Star Weekend coverage, the as-yet unnamed three contestants — who’ll be overseen by an NBA ref — will play G-E-I-C-O. As in the insurance company that will be the event’s unavoidable sponsor. (Suggestion: The winner then takes on the famous ad lizard to really drive home the brand awareness.)”

With Eastern Conference All-Star Jameer Nelson on the chilling list indefinitely, the NBA announced today that his replacement next weekend in Phoenix will be Ray Allen. After he dropped 28 in last year’s game, I guess he’s got a lot to live up to. And congrats to the Boston Celtics for finally getting some notoriety.

For years, NBA fans have clamored for the League to add new events to All-Star weekend, with H-O-R-S-E being a leading candidate. And for years, the League has responded by adding inexplicably crappy events to its showcase weekend. Not sure if you noticed or not, but there’s a lot of change happening in our world, and that change apparently includes the mid-season gala.

H-O-R-S-E won’t “officially” be part of the NBA All-Star Weekend in Phoenix in a couple of weeks, but thanks to TNT, NBA stars will take part in the event. From TNT PR (Via: AA):

The game will take place on a 45′ X 50’ court alongside the network’s new NBA on TNT Rig (photo attached) at the NBA All-Star Block Party presented by Right Guard, the NBA’s new outdoor All-Star event. The NBA on TNT Rig will also serve as the host set for other studio shows on TNT and NBA TV throughout the weekend. The rig can rise up to 14 feet off the ground and rotate to show views of the arena, downtown area and NBA All-Star Block Party presented by Right Guard, can seat up to 117 guests and will be open to the public on select days. Calling the action from the rig will be Ernie Johnson, along with analysts Kenny Smith and Chris Webber.

The game will use a traditional format in which three players will establish the playing order. Once a shot is made, the next player in the predetermined order will attempt the same shot. If that player misses, he is assigned a letter (ex. H for the first miss, O for the second, etc.). The player following the miss can pick a new shot with which to challenge his competitors. There is no dunking allowed and players will have 24 seconds each to create and mimic shots. Players remain in the game until they have missed five shots following made baskets, thus spelling the word H-O-R-S-E. An NBA referee will be assigned to authenticate the new shots (that the player executed what he announced) and any mimic shot.

Though the network has yet to announce who will take part in this, it has a lot of potential, obviously. I just hope whoever they convince to participate will put on a good enough show for this to become a staple.

I got home from the office a little while ago, and logged into my Facebook account. One of the updates on the main page was from Adrian Wojnarowski, who claimed that he was breaking the news over at Yahoo! Sports – well before the official announcement – of who the All-Star reserves are.

Here, reportedly, is the list:

O’Neal, 36, was one of seven Western reserves chosen by the NBA’s coaches, and will play in the All-Star Game for the hometown Suns.

The Magic will have three All-Stars in the game, including starting center Dwight Howard, who received the most fan votes of any player. The East-leading Cleveland Cavaliers will have just one, LeBron James. Among the notable misses on the East’s roster: the Cavs’ Mo Williams, and Boston’s Rajon Rondo and Ray Allen.

Also snubbed, were Steve Nash and Al Jefferson. Sorry, gents. Maybe next year.

For those of you keeping track, All-Star countdown is at 17 days. As the big day gets closer, the word on sneakers is picking up. I got some info this morning on what adidas will have their top dogs decked out in for Phoenix.

Kevin Garnett, Tim Duncan and Dwight Howard will all wear custom adidas Team Signature Bounce Commanders in their respective conference colors. Tracy McGrady, Chauncey Billups and Derrick Rose will all wear the Team Signature Lightning Creators in their respective colors as well.

The West players will wear a desert red and gold sneaker, while he East’s finest will rock a silver and sunset blue colorway.

We’ve also got some info from the stripes on the apparel side of things.

The warm-up jackets that the players will wear are pictured here, as well as hoodies and a cap. Myself, I’m a fan of the East jacket, neutral on the hoodies and I’d pass on the lid (white hats always used to get dirty way too fast on me for my liking).

No player exclusives with this stuff either, meaning all of it will be available in stores. The kicks are selling at $110 with the jacket going for $125 and the hoodie for $90. The cap, should you decide you like it, has a tag of $24.

]]>http://www.slamonline.com/kicks/adidas-jumps-into-all-star-weekend/feed/22SLAMonlineRay Allen on the Honor of Playing in the ASGhttp://www.slamonline.com/nba/ray-allen-on-the-honor-of-playing-in-the-asg/
http://www.slamonline.com/nba/ray-allen-on-the-honor-of-playing-in-the-asg/#commentsThu, 29 Jan 2009 15:30:48 +0000http://slamonline.com/online/?p=21253

Just in case you hadn’t figured it out yet, Ray Allen is not Rasheed Wallace: “I’ve never really understood guys who’ve said they didn’t want to go, because it’s an honor,” Allen said last night before the Celtics faced the Sacramento Kings at the Garden. “It’s a privilege, not a right. I remember the first year I was chosen,” he said. “That feeling will always be in my mind. Being one of the best is always in my camp.”

Being one of the deepest and most talented classes in recent history has its setbacks. Undoubtedly, there were some tough snubs in this rookie-sophomore match, mostly from the Class of 2008. While every player named to the Rookie Team is deserving, good cases could be made for Kevin Love, Mario Chalmers, D.J. Augustin, Jason Thompson and Marreese Speights. The rookies may be stacked, but they have history to deal with–Sophomores hold a 7-2 advantage over the first-year players.

There’s no better way to come out of a sporadic quasi-hiatus (sorry about that, by the way, folks) than to throw a rhetorical question out there for you all:

Did you know that it’s 19 days until the All-Star game?

As much fun as the weekend is in terms of ball, that three-day stretch is a straight up special edition smorgasbord of crazy sneakers. Consider all of the theme nights that the sneaker companies have taken advantage of already this season (opening night, election night and Christmas Day, to name a few). If All-Star is the biggest single day through the season for sneaker companies, this year stands to be the biggest yet.

With the big weekend approaching, I thought now would be a good time to talk All-Star sneaks. None of the info I’ve got here is exactly breaking, but it’s a cumulative wrap of sorts, of what we know up to right now on what’s what.

Let’s work back from freshest to, uh…least fresh?

These DJ Clark Kent-designed quick strike Air Force 1’s came up over the weekend at Sneakerfiles. They won’t be worn in the game or anything, but it’s an All-Star theme. I’m a sucker for these kinds of shoes. The makeup of them is kind of ugly, but makes them kind of incredible at the same time. Kind of like the old Minnesota North Stars jerseys. Clark Kent also designed these All-Star themed 1’s.

As for actual in-game footwear, the two sneaks I’ve got are two that you’ve probably seen, but it’s good to get something that’s somewhat comprehensive going here.

First up is Allen Iverson’s East-themed version of the Answer XII, by Reebok. Call me a bad sneakerhead, but I just saw these pics for the first time on Monday. I find it interesting that Reebok is still using the same I3 logo on the Answer XII, long after Iverson was traded to the Pistons. This also got me thinking: what number will Iverson wear in Phoenix? A throwback night could be in store.

Finally, the first All-Star shoe that I saw this season was this red version of the Zoom Kobe IV, which leaked out shortly after the big press conference Kobe had to unveil the regular-season colors of the ZKIV back in November.

To me, the ZKIV is probably the most interesting shoe out there right now, but despite the technology and the shoe being a low cut, I’ve yet to see something that’s aesthetically pleasing. Maybe that’s what Nike ID is for.

Lastly, word from Converse is that Dwyane Wade’s all-star sneak will be coming shortly. You should also keep an eye out for Jameer Nelson, who’ll be wearing some special Cons when he’s helping out his man Dwight Howard in the dunk contest.

With the numbers Al Jefferson’s put up this season (22.6 ppg, 10.6 rpg, 1.6 bpg) and a 9-2 (!!!) record in January, Big Al certainly makes a big All-Star case. But will he get it? Most think Jefferson will get snubbed, as Shaq-ovic is likely to get the backup nod instead.

Still, the Wolves are campaigning for their center with an All-Star package entitled, “Big Al’s Road Trip: Navigating His Way to Phoenix.” The package, sent to all 30 coaches, included a real GPS that plays video highlights. You have to hand it to the Wolves for creativity, but will it be enough to oust the Big Fella with All-Star being in Phoenix?

Each year, for its mid-season extravaganza, the NBA and its various business partners get together and unleash a hideous set of uniforms on an unsuspecting public. After the initial shock, we grudgingly accept the garments and agree to suffer through them for an evening.

This season, the uniforms are once again sharply displeasing to the eye, but they’re technologically advanced! Supposedly.

The specially made uniforms for the Feb. 15 All-Star Game in Phoenix (the starters will be announced at 7 p.m. Thursday on TNT) are the lightest and most technologically advanced to wear. They are 30% lighter than traditional uniforms. Previously, layers of twill were sewn together, making the uniforms heavier. The new ones also allow less friction because of the reduction of seams.

The Techfit PowerWeb compression-base layer, worn underneath the uniform, can improve a player’s vertical jump by 4%, said Lawrence Norman, vice president of global basketball for Adidas: “This is more revolutionary than evolutionary. These products can help you play better.”

A 4% increase in vertical leaping ability might not sound like a lot to you, but it’s pretty considerable if said player already possesses a 40-inch vert. They might just have to raise the rims in Phoenix come February 15th.

That’s right, this is the fourth, and last, balloting update before all votes finalize in 11 days. Watch out for a few close races: Yi riding on KG’s coattails, Melo surpassing Amare, and CP3 falling behind TMac. If you ask me, if Yi has two more 20+ point games soon, he’ll jump Garnett. Starters will be announced Jan. 22, prior to a TNT doubleheader. Reserves will be announced one week later.