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Dick Summer Communications

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About RST's Host

New Jersey native, flight instructor, former FAA air traffic controller and author of "Bootleg Skies," "Inside The Circle," "Ailerona," "Artie Azzetti and Me--Life At St. Anthony's Elementary," and "Zen and the Art of Pumpkin Bombing or Why my UCSC Education Wasn't a Compleat Waste of Time"

Monday, November 20, 2006

One of the most frequently asked question at Rejection Slip Theater's monthly rejected writers' retreat and wine-tasting sponsored by the Southern Iowa Writer's Institute (located just above the Tai Kwon Do Academy on the corner of Euclid and Main in Osceola, Iowa) is really multifaceted: "Does pumpkin bombing truly exist? If so, where? Can it support an entire novel? Are obligatory sex scenes necessary? Should pumpkin-bombing be hyphenated? Do recent reports of rouge deer charging about Target stores in Des Moines, Iowa with pumpkins on their heads indicate an upsurge in pumpkin-bombing-related activities? If pumpkins were banned would only criminals possess pumpkins?

Good questions, all. We'll take them in reverse order:1) If pumpkins were banned would only criminals posses pumpkins? No, the Second Amendment requires bears, too, to keep pumpkins...plus limit comma usage and ellipses, but, more importantly, it prohibits use of the subjunctive except by a well-regulated literary militia.2) Do recent reports of rouge deer charging about Target stores in Des Moines, Iowa with pumpkins covering their heads indicate an upsurge in pumpkin bombing related activities? Perhaps. But it's rogue deer not rouge deer. And it's Des Moines where anything is possible, especially when it comes to headgear.3) Should pumpkin-bombing be hyphenated? If you're anal-retentive, yes.4) Are obligatory sex scenes necessary? Only if you want to get published. If you want to get your pumpkin story rejected and straight to RST, then obfuscate the naughty allusions.5) Can it (pumpkin bombing) support an entire novel? We assume the questioner meant: Can it keep the reader's attention through 427 pages, excluding epilogues and footnotes, because nobody reads those? In that case, yes. See Bootleg Skies. Read a sample chapter: http://www.ailerona.com/documents/BootlegSkiesCh1.pdf5) Shouldn't this be question #6? Yes.7) Finally: Does pumpkin bombing truly exist? If so, where? It certainly does, Ollie, and where else but in southern Iowa: http://www.avweb.com/news/skywrite/188626-1.html

Enjoy and until next time, "Good night or good morning...whatever works." (Official trade phrase of RST; must be said in a deep radio voice as though you really really mean it even if you don't quite understand it.)