After a year of climbing nowhere except Red Rock, I decided it was time for a change of scenery and rock type. So, I dialed my belay bitch and we were on our way to St. George, Utah to climb on some of their limestone/volcanic rock. Two days of solid climbing was the plan as we departed on Monday afternoon. Unfortunately, we had to take his dog since he has no friends other than me.

After an hour and 45 minutes of traveling straight north, we found ourselves in another time zone and racing to get everything we needed before this town turns into a pumpkin at 7pm. Luckily, I gathered some information online before we left. I got the name of the book we needed, the name and number of the local climbing gym, and the name and number of the local gear shop. At least, that's what I thought I grabbed. The outdoor shop, out of business. The climbing gym, climbing wall and party rental. Yes, we were up the proverbial shits creek. Luckily, the climbing Gods shone a light upon a brand new climbing shop that had just opened (The Desert Rat, great guys, good shop), didn't even have their sign up yet. They had our book, some great camping info, and a few supplies we needed to set up a slackline. With that, we were off to our campsite for the night.

We set up camp next to a reservoir about 15 miles north of the city, off hwy 18. The goal was to ravish the barely legal limestone of prophesy wall for 2 solid days. Soon the 4% beer was flowing. The cheddarwurst was bursting and the marshmallows were igniting over the crackle of our campfire. Good times were ahead.

The sounds of the reservoir were plentiful throughout the night. There was a myriad of frogs and toads in symphony, ducks splashing about, even the occasional coyote call and cow moo. After a nearly sleepless night, the sun was rising upon the great city, and it was time to hit the bluffs. We hit the trails (in the car of course), and headed over to the wall. Here's a good tip, if you don't have a high clearance vehicle, make sure you take the second left past the reservoir or you will break your car, like I almost did. Who would have thought a VW GTI isn't the best offroad vehicle?

A quick 5 minute approach lead us to the base of our warmup route, Sticky Revelations. This is a 3 pitch sport route consisting of a 5.7, 5.8, and 5.10a. We cammed the gear guard dog to the wall with a piece of webbing for the leash, and started up the route. What we found was a MESS of bolts. This wall is so heavily bolted, it's almost difficult mot to climb onto another route. In fact, we we reached the second pitch, we accidentally took an alternate route, and ended up added another (short) pitch to our climb. During this alternate climb, I almost killed by belay buddy. I grabbed a big jug on a huge rock and heard that Indiana Jones style rock scraping noise that means immanent danger/death. I quickly let go and grabbed something else, somehow staying put on the wall. Despite my best efforts to not to kill my belayer, he nearly earned a Darwin award at the base of the 4th pitch when a sudden urge to relieve his bowls came over him. The belay station on this pitch was huge. It would have taken an act of God, or shear, unadulterated stupidity to fall of this ledge. Therefor, he decided this was a good place to deharness, and pop a squat. Behind that big rock looked like a good place, and it was. Here's another useful tip, don't use that big rock to the left on the third pitch (2nd variation) belay station to hold yourself upright while squatting to shit, as this rock, like the one I almost crushed him with, is not stationary. Narrowly avoiding a ass-first, shitting dive from the 3rd belay station, we were ready to cap this peak. After seeing anchor next to anchor, bolt line next to bolt line, taking variations to wherever, we were officially lost on the route. Whatever we tried next, was most definitely NOT a 5.10a. This was one of the craziest bolt lines I have seen. The second bolt was in the middle of a featureless face with the closet hand hold being barely an arms length away, and they weren't good hand either. I tried every different way I could think of to clip this second bolt, taking several fairly nasty whippers attempting it. My final attempt consisted of rock blowing off all around me. I would get a hand hold, POOF, turned to dust. I would find a good foot, POOF, turned to dust. I struggled on it for a good 25 minutes, then we decided to plug some gear and make our own line to the left of it.

We worked up an appetite in that route, so we headed to town for an early lunch and a quick shower before we headed back out. I decided I hated that wall and I didn't plan on returning, so we were going to go check out Green Valley Gap. When we got there, we found that the approach from the prophesy wall, had really beat up the dog's feet, and it was now approaching 100 degrees. As we started the approach, the dog wasn't doing so good. She was light on one of her feet, and was panting very heavy. Leaving her in the car in that heat obviously wasn't an option. Figuring that we didn't really have any place to put her while we climbed, we had to just head home.

So, our 2 days of solid climbing turned into one night of shitty sleep and one, 3 1/2 pitch route. All in all, I guess it could have been worse. My belay buddy could easily be dead. It was only an hour and 45 minute drive, so at least we weren't half way across the country. Soon, I will venture back to St. George to caress the sweet limestone and volcanic rock, but I will probably wait until Black Rocks opens up after June 30th.

Prophecy wall's limestone now? Coulda fooled me. Its white sandstone. Also, while its been a couple of years, I thought that the third pitch of Sticky Revelations was 10a (albeit a thin, techy 10a on varnish edges). With a hilarious 5.9 bailout option just right of the bolt line. Or you can go left up a 4th class ramp (with tons of bolts). Also, was it 3.5 pitches, 4 pitches, 2 pitches, help us out here.

Everything in the Utah Hills, and at the Phalanx of Will, is limestone.

Frankly dude, you earned your shitty trip. I dunno where you heard that Prophecy Wall is limestone, or what book you were using (is it the new Goss book?), but I can't imagine a universe where you can't pick up the appropriate guidebook for an area less than two hours away, at your local gear shop.

Prophecy wall's limestone now? Coulda fooled me. Its white sandstone. Also, while its been a couple of years, I thought that the third pitch of Sticky Revelations was 10a (albeit a thin, techy 10a on varnish edges). With a hilarious 5.9 bailout option just right of the bolt line. Or you can go left up a 4th class ramp (with tons of bolts). Also, was it 3.5 pitches, 4 pitches, 2 pitches, help us out here.

Everything in the Utah Hills, and at the Phalanx of Will, is limestone.

Frankly dude, you earned your shitty trip. I dunno where you heard that Prophecy Wall is limestone, or what book you were using (is it the new Goss book?), but I can't imagine a universe where you can't pick up the appropriate guidebook for an area less than two hours away, at your local gear shop.

Sorry man, zero sympathy.

Yeah, I guess it was sandstone. I must have been thinking of some other walls in the area. I am hesitant to say it was 4 pitches, only because there was a whimpy little 15 ft "pitch" thrown in there. I guess it was a variation that we ended up on accidentally. So, I guess I would say it was 3.5?

As far as earning a shitty trip, ok cool, whatever you say. I was looking at it partially as an adventure, so I'd say mission accomplished there. You're sympathy doesn't mean much to me anyways. I was simply sharing a story, not fishing for e-hugs.

Hmm, well I remember the prophecy wall as being sandstone, some plates and what not on it that were a little thin but nothing crazy. I also didn't think the routes were that hard to follow. Sticky revelations was my first route there too and I enjoyed it a lot. I think prophecy wall is great actually, multi-pitch sport on sandstone. I'm looking forward to going back.

There definitely was some sketch trad though, interview with a psychopath was the name of the route... not recommended.

Well, I was either crazy overtired, which is likely, or just really not used to the way this way was laid out. All the places I've been in Red Rock, the routes are a good 6-10 apart, generally more than. I don't know, I was probably just tired and not focused. I'm sure I'll be back soon and give it another go.

Yeah, it was amazing. The charts in the front especially. I didn't get a chance to look through it too much, but my partner was going on about it. I guess that's why he wouldn't put it down and let me look.