esterday, had you been sitting in the cube next to mine, you would have heard a bit of a kerfuffle going on next door.

You see, I have a silk skirt that’s really quite lovely, but also quite slick. You must sit with care when wearing a slick skirt.

Unfortunately, at lunch, that little fact flew out of my mind the minute my fork dropped to the floor. Ten second rule! thought I. Then, in a blaze of lightening, my top half bent down to retrieve the utensil, whilst my bottom half slid right off my chair. I landed with a thud; my chair shot behind me, ricocheting off the wall.

There I sat, on the floor, in a rather un-lady like fashion–a stunned look in my eye, a fork in my hand.

I like to think it’s a message to us all: you can be victorious even in moments of humility.

o, Prancercise. Perhaps you’re familiar with this little workout phenomenon. Perhaps, you’re not–in which case, do take heed. You see, the moment a co-worker plays a video showcasing how it’s done, you may think it a good idea to give it a go in front of your peers. After all, they know you’re joking. Plus, you work in the back of a basement; it’s early in the morning; and there’s very little foot traffic, even mid-day–who’s going to see you?

No sooner does that thought flit across your mind, then you prance around to find several members of the Facilities Department. Poor, innocent fellows who simply popped over to see how the new cubicles are working for ya. Instead, they face a sight that can never be unseen.

While I realize the whole theory behind this particular form of exercise is to set yourself free from social restrictions, sometimes those restrictions are for the best.

e warned: keep your eyes facing forward when walking the hallways at work. Especially if you’re walking with co-workers. And the walls surrounding you happen to be made of concrete. Because you just never know when one of those walls may suddenly jump right out in front of you. Jutting walls are wily fellows; most likely the tomfoolery will transpire as you’re looking away–at a co-worker, perhaps. There you’ll be, using your active listening skills, nodding solemnly, maybe throwing your head back in laughter–it’s hard to say because you won’t recall much of anything once you body-slam the wall.

One co-worker will stop in her tracks. “What was that noise?!”

The other will attempt an explanation, while simultaneously trying to offer comfort. But let’s face it: it’s hard to say much of anything when you’re laughing so hard you can barely stand.

And you can just forget trying to epxlain how you suffered whiplash whilst walking down an empty corridor.

Of course, the upside of all this: if it takes place prior to heading outside, to meander downtown and soak in a bit of Vitamin D, it may cause your co-workers to be extra-vigilant in making sure you don’t run into a light post, fall down a manhole, or slip off the sidewalk.

ust when all seems well on your jaunt downtown–when you’re meandering along, minding your own business–that’s the very time you must be particularly vigilant. Especially if the wind kicks up. Let your guard down for one moment and who knows the tomfoolery that may ensue. You may be sucking on a mint, for instance, when a fellow walking the opposite direction smiles; fully intending to return the smile, you’ll open your mouth ever so slightly . . . and projectile spit. The wind will take that spit, and propel it upward and outward, like the Apollo fountain of Versailles. A sight to behold, for certain. And just when you’re trying to figure if you’re aghast or amazed, that’s about the time a gust will blow it back into your face, thus rendering you momentarily blind.

And let’s be serious, it’s hard to recover any semblance of decorum from that point forward.

I’ve heard through the grapevine some of you awaited with bated breath to read how the snowshoeing went: how many times I got tangled up in my own shoes, how many times I fell down, how many people I took down with me.

Monday came and went, no post. Yesterday, nary a word. So rude!

Long story short, no snowshoeing. Bitter disappointment, I know.

We did, however, set out on foot which, apparently, is a faux pas in the winter months in a STATE PARK.

We’re such rebels.

Seriously though, it could not be helped. The weather was so lovely. Also, we’d already paid the park fee–you would not believe how hard it was to come up with five measly dollars.

So, off we set. We meandered the service roads, careful to watch our step and avoid the grooves. As you may have gathered from the photo, we even went so far as to traverse the “Not so Easy” trail. No false advertising there. I don’t really love traipsing up and down snowy hills. Not to mention, there was a section where the snow kept caving in beneath my foot. I’d pull my leg out, walk a couple steps, and down I’d go — all the while, flinging my arms up in the air, yelping, and making a certain exclamation, over and over again, as if I had a particularly painful form of turrets.

It wasn’t pretty.

A fact made obvious as I inched my way up a hill and turned to face the one following me. She lagged so far behind, you practically needed binoculars to see her. Just giving you room in case you didn’t make it.

Humph. Whatever.

So some may explore the wilds with ease, but do they have Top Notch feet? I ask you. Because I do. Oh yes, I do–a professional opinion, that.

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Magpie & Muttonfly is the place where I write about all the things that make our stories grand. Emphasis on me, myself, and I. Any review or recommendation posted on this site is solely my own {unless otherwise noted}. Occasionally you will find a link to Amazon.com. An eternal window shopper, I only list items that strike my fancy. Any time you click the link and proceed to make a purchase, I get a wee referral fee. You will not be charged more--but once or twice a year I earn enough to purchase a tin of my favorite tea. So I do thank you for that!