One thing about this downsizing by necessity and searching for a new place to live is that it compels a diva to evaluate her priorities. There are the obvious concerns: Can I make do with two bedrooms instead of three? Can I squeeze all my furniture into a smaller residence? How much closet space do I really need? In theory, if you’re downsizing your square footage, you should also downsize your belongings. But who’s thinking about theories when they’re busy worrying about where they’ll wind up?

Then there are the priorities of lifestyle. These are the things tied to your everyday life—your routine, your club affiliations, your volunteer activities, and the recreational interests you partake in. You don’t immediately think about how a move may affect your way of life until you realize that your routine activities and pleasures may have to change.

Somewhere along the line your fundamental priorities will surface. Perhaps they emerge when you begin to panic because you can’t find a suitable place to live in the same neighborhood, city, county, or state. And you realize that your distress has nothing to do with the number of bedrooms or bathrooms you can afford, and everything to do with your family, your loved ones. You want to stay near the ones who don’t live with you and you want to stay likable to the ones who do live with you. If you’re married, staying together and making it through the ordeal intact becomes the highest priority.