Right around the time when I was sneaking into clubs to dance spasmodically to Binary Finary, back when Radiohead was releasing albums without any guitar, DJ Goldie was in that David Bowie movie, and everybody was wearing really absurd pants, I would have totally seen a market for light-up clothes.

Because, hello, the late nineties and early oughts was not a period characterized by a high level of taste.

A decade after the party ended, the LumiGram company of Gif-sur-Yvette, France, has finally harnessed fiber-optic technology in pursuit of the noble goal of making everyday shit emit an unearthly glow. (In five different colors!)

The Fiona costs € 69, which is really a modest price to pay for "An amazing piece of clothe, that will light up your nights and make you shine !"

More expensive — and yet, also more luminous — is the Marilyn, at € 199.

But the real show-stopper is the Sophia. The dress — which, with the removable sleeves on, would double as the most insane Princess Leia costume ever — comes with an optional belt in a contrasting color. Which it should, for € 1599.

All LumiGrams clothes are hand-washable — remove the battery pack first — and glow for up to 12 hours per charge.