Anyone who has been around a toddler knows the ability to say no is something most of us are very well blessed with for a time. At some point between the boundary-pushing twos and threes and adulthood, this ability just seems to disappear magically in many of us. Whether it's a fear of rejection, a desire to be better liked or simply an illusion of being able to do it all, saying yes seems to be the more common inclination for most people. Learning to say no can be redeveloped as a skill. In fact, regaining the lost art and finding effective ways to say no can be important not only for sanity's sake, but also for actually getting ahead in life.

Just Say No!

Whether you need to learn to say no to drugs, work assignments or the demands of your spouse and children, some benefits can be gained from this. The perks of knowing how to say no to some things are obvious, but the benefits of having the ability to say no in other circumstances might not be as readily identifiable.

At work, having the ability to say no can actually work to your advantage. If you are too overloaded and too stressed out, saying yes to more work can result in negative results. Stress and overwhelm bring eventual fatigue, which will leave you feeling less than your best. Operating from this mode, you are not alert and your work suffers. Take what you can handle and learn to say no to the rest.

It is wise to weigh what you are saying no to carefully before doing so, however. Some projects are too good to pass up on or are too important to a career. Learn to adjust priorities when you are feeling overwhelmed.

At home, learning the fine art of saying no can help you in a number of ways. If housework is out of control and your work schedule will not budge a centimeter, saying no to extra tasks family members throw your way can be liberating. If you do not do it all for them, eventually they will have to pick up the slack.

In parenting, the art of learning to say no can be vital. While most of us want to see our children happy, sometimes we just have to say no. When their safety, well being or educational futures are on the line, having the ability to just say no is a must. In addition, saying no can help build boundaries and better solidify the parent-child relationship as one built on respect. If your children see you as a push over, you will have problems.

The Benefits of Saying No

Beyond keeping yourself out of trouble at work, getting your family to do their part and ensuring children's safety, there are other benefits of saying no. Some of these include:

*Stress Reduction

When we are overworked, over-pressured and accept obligations that we have no business accepting, stress levels can be high. According to MedicineNet.com, stress is implicated in a number of illnesses. It can contribute to everything from high blood pressure and heart disease to chronic anxiety. Reducing unnecessary stress can help you lead a happier, healthier life. Learning to say no cannot only help; it can be crucial.

*Better Time Management

When we allow ourselves to become overloaded with projects, obligations and duties, time management can be a living nightmare. When priorities are focused on and learning how to say no is taken into account, time management can be much easier to handle.

*More "Me” Time

If you spend all your time saying yes and lose the ability to say no, the amount of time you have left over at the end of the day for you will likely be nil. Expanding this can be good for you, your health and people around you. It is okay to be a little selfish occasionally.

*Liberation

Learning to say no to unnecessary obligations is not easy, but it can be rather liberating. If you cannot pull something off, practice saying no. The more you do it, the better you will be at it.

Tips for Saying No in All Circumstances

Coming up with viable ways to learn to say no isn't always easy, but there are some great tips for doing so under different circumstances. Honesty is usually the best policy. Whether it is saying no to a child, a boss, a spouse, friend or co-worker, be truthful with what you can handle to avoid overload.

There are some great tips and opening lines to help you on the quest for learning how to say no. They include:

*Admit Overload

If you have too much on your plate, just say so. Saying no under these circumstances is almost never considered unacceptable.

*Express Concern

If the reason you want to say no is that you are uncomfortable with a task or do not feel comfortable with it, just say that. You can even avoid saying no directly by expressing the concerns.

*Admit Dissatisfaction

If you simply do not want to do something because it "isn't your thing," say so! While this might not always work in a career, it can in personal life. There is nothing wrong with declining an invitation to go on a camping trip with friends, for example, if the great outdoors gives you hives. In fact, they will probably admire you for your ability to say no.

*Suggest Another Candidate

Whether it's a task at work you do not feel qualified to perform or social event you do not have time to volunteer at, recommend someone you think might actually excel and enjoy the job. This is a polite way to say no without leaving the asker high and dry.

*Offer to do a Different Task

If you have the time to help in a particular way, offer to do something more to your liking or particular skill set. Just say no, but express what areas you feel could benefit your employer, club, family or organization more.

Sometimes it is not necessary to do anything else. When a child asks for something unreasonable or a co-worker's demands are too much, just say no. They'll get the message. Learning how to say no can take time and practice. If you work at it, take some lessons from a nearby toddler and really concentrate, you can tap back into that long-lost art. It is very likely you and those around you will appreciate the effort – eventually!

How Assertive are You?

Are you assertive, aggressive, or a victim? Or does your behavior depend on the circumstance? To find out how you’re most likely to react in certain situations, take this assertiveness quiz now.