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Topic: Facebook Call-out (Read 4295 times)

Someone on my friend list is hosting an event in about a week, and it's been planned for a while now. Apparently, people are backing out of the event, but there's still a week to go. They're only participants, not coordinators. This friend posted this message on Facebook, "Wow...dropping like fly's...thanks?"

Call me crazy, but what I'm hearing is, "Whatever came up in your life, what's going on in my life is more important, and you ought to be ashamed for putting yourself first." I'm not involved in the event, but if I was, and if this was directed at me, I would be annoyed rather than ashamed.

This falls under the Praise in Public, Criticize in Private axiom. If he wanted to call out each individual privately, that's between them. Criticizing all of them for others to see, and in a PA way to boot, is rude.

And not just rude to them...it's rude to people like you who are made uncomfortable by "witnessing" it.

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Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.Walt Whitman

Haha, I just logged in a few minutes ago, and apparently he removed it on his own. I don't know if someone mentioned it or if he figured it out for himself, but better to realize it a bit late than not at all!

It is rude to call people out on Facebook - but it's also rude to back out of something that one has already agreed to do (short of disaster).

That's true. It is rude, unless the person cancelling couldn't get off work for that day, or there's some sort of emergency. I don't know the reasons for the cancellations though, so I couldn't say.

or perhaps they changed their RSVPs when more information came out? say, they were invited to a party, then found out that the party was actually a potluck of the type bring your own food, drinks, chairs, snacks, and paper plates, i'll provide the backyard for you to sit in. or he invited people to dinner at a restaurant that he was hosting, then let it be known that all attendees would be paying for their own refreshments and a share of his as well, since the gathering was in his honor. if the invitation substantially changed, there's nothing wrong with participants changing their minds about attending.

now, i don't know this guy obviously, but anyone posting such a message, demanding that people ignore what's going on in their lives because his life is just so much more important and he needs the support? he'll be lucky if he only loses these people as friends on FB, and not IRL.

I feel for the guy. He is putting an event together and suddenly people start backing off. It is not a nice feeling and he may well have already committed to some expenses. I can see one or two people having emergencies, but several? Well, it is impossible for us to know what is really going on but, regardless, his comment was rude.

I wanted to leave it kind of vague in case he stumbled on this, but it's nothing like a potluck. It's a biking event, so all he would really have lost himself is numbers. I can see both sides of the story as well, and I'm sort of on his side about the being angry part. He's been known for FB call-outs in the past, though. I did it one time, realized how obnoxious I was being, and took it down. He continues to do it, and wonders why people unfriend him.

You wouldn't believe how many people dropped out coming to our wedding. Some didn't even RSVP and some did to say they would come and then didn't. One text.messages me the.morning.of our wedding to say she wasn't coming. I was heartbroken for my parents as they paid for these people! ! But no way would I ever put something on Facebook about it....rude much? Tempting though it might be...the frustration of people dropping out of something that has taken so long to.prepare and cost so much money is just immense. But by calling someone out in public is just losing any moral high ground and is more rude than those who dropped out IMO.

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Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit.Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.