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i thought i took this site more seriously than a lot of other posters BUT overtime, i'm starting to realize that it's the other way around. even though i'm here all the time, interact with many of you guys, am cool with you and bond with ya, surprisingly, i am not emotionally attached to this site. for some reason, i am not emotionally attached to a lot of things. i can actually do without many things without feeling odd and i'm emotionally attached to some of the strangest things too such as looking at the clock or some of the ocd related rituals i have. weird.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

probably the change of seasons. anything that might have happened that could have set it off though or did it just happen randomly?

Both. Had some bad news at work, but nothing I haven't weathered before. My reaction to it seemed out of sync with what happened. I'm sort of proceeding forward cautiously. I've dealt with this enough to know not to think it's ever defeated - just temporarily kept at bay. That's OK. I've got my armor and sword at the ready.

Both. Had some bad news at work, but nothing I haven't weathered before. My reaction to it seemed out of sync with what happened. I'm sort of proceeding forward cautiously. I've dealt with this enough to know not to think it's ever defeated - just temporarily kept at bay. That's OK. I've got my armor and sword at the ready.

Lex

In a way you're almost lucky if depression hits with such a tangible physical presence because at least you know what it is. Depression for most people creeps up so much they don't even realize it's there until they've withdrawn and pulled out of their normal habits.

I'm pretty sure my married coworker has feelings for me. Her husband left her a few weeks ago and she was shocked and devastated. He came back after a week or so and now they're working on things. I'm trying very hard to not foster any sort of crush on her, but she's quite lovely and sweet and this is the first time I've felt anything at all since my ex.

i've found that some of the supposedly "real" posters in here are far more annoying than the aliases and blatant trolls on the board. it even gets to the point where some of them will act like trolls and then when they get called out on it, they get defensive. funny if you ask me. at least the trolls will troll in peace. it's the "real" posters that have to ruin it with their overseriousness. you'll have some of "real" posters basically being shitstarters or whatever even in times where everything is all good. you even have some of them trying to get rid one of the few comic relief on the boards that keeps this place from being a drama central where folks are literally getting emotional over NOTHING.

you know, it's almost like folks are following the stereotype of gay guys being drama queens. it's funny because before when i was closeted and on other internet sites, i used to be starting shit with folks for no reason. now, here i am trying to change my act around, the karma comes back to me at the wrong time. i still am having a hard time with simply controlling my anger and walking away instead of firing back. it's difficult. even now, sometimes, i see something in here that rubs me the wrong way and i have to pull myself to move away and direct my temper elsewhere.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

I'm pretty sure my married coworker has feelings for me. Her husband left her a few weeks ago and she was shocked and devastated. He came back after a week or so and now they're working on things. I'm trying very hard to not foster any sort of crush on her, but she's quite lovely and sweet and this is the first time I've felt anything at all since my ex.

you must be really hot if you have some of the ladies in your job having crushes on you and such.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

In a way you're almost lucky if depression hits with such a tangible physical presence because at least you know what it is. Depression for most people creeps up so much they don't even realize it's there until they've withdrawn and pulled out of their normal habits.

I only know it because I've been there before. In short, I HAVE spiraled down without realizing it. And it does take presence of mind to recognize it. I've caught myself thinking I'm upset about something, or thinking life really does suck, and it takes some sort of nudge for me to realize "Wait - maybe it's depression kicking in." You'd think that each time it happened, I'd recognize it. But the fact is that I've sort of grown to trust my brain. When it says "You're cold", I put a coat on - I don't bother checking the weather to see if it's accurate.

A comedian once said "I sometimes think the brain is the most fascinating part of the human body. Then I realize, well, look what's telling me that."

Some people just naturally have more gravitas than others. You can't compare somebody like, say, Lex, who has a lot of it, with somebody like Enchanted, who's a fluffy airhead.

The second problem is that it's the Internet. You just can't tell from one post to the next who's being serious and who's being sarcastic, and who has a dry sense of humor.

Many, mamy misunderstandings, many hurt feelings, much anger is the result.

from what i've seen, enchanted usually doesn't go out his way to start with anybody unlike how some posters will try to jumpstart a problem with someone else for no reason. it's folks that go out their way to start with him. they know that he's going to post pics of himself, talk about his chemistry professor and ask for advice then tell folks to stop giving him advice since it's not what he wants to hear and yet they start up with him. folks will say that he's the problem BUT yet it's them. the same thing with sloppyseconds. sloppy will just say whatever and go about his way yet you'll see folks basically trying to make a whole drawn out issue about him. it's ridiculous and then they're the same ones complaining about how the board is going downhill. for a second, it's like folks are pointing a whole lot of fingers and not realizing that they themselves are the ones that are bringing the forums down.

the funniest thing is how i hear some posters complaining about how other posters are contributing to the forums by making threads and saying things which actually allows them, who aren't saying a single word, to stay active themselves. some of these posters don't even MAKE threads and when they do, they actually think they're saying something special when they're not saying any insightful or different than the people they're fussing about. it sounds like some members in here are feeling themselves a bit too much and need to stop sipping that kool aid where they can act like the rest of the JUB population.

and i agree with you with the whole comedy, seriousness routine. some posters in here, it's HARD to tell if they're joking or not. it's HARD to joke with some people in here as well. i'll admit that i'm one of those guys that doesn't know how to joke around or can sense sarcasm. hell, you can't even say things in here without folks reading too much into it where they're like "you're talking about him, you're talking about them, you're talking about me". the thing about this site too that i also find annoying is that there this idea where you have to bare your damn self to here like they're dealing with you offline, i truly don't see what is the point because regardless knowing me through a screenname is NOT the same thing as knowing me in person. even though i might not like a poster and how they carry themselves on here, i truly don't know them enough to hold hate or animosity towards them like that. it would be stupid to do that. sometimes, i feel that some posters in here forget that. what translate online may NOT translate in real life. i might not get along with someone online but we might wind up being close in real life. the same thing vice versa. even if you try your hardest to show who you really are as a person offline, it still is NOT the same thing as doing it offline. i remember meeting up with a lady friend from this other site that i go to and she was surprised that i wasn't the angry, depressed, homicidal, troubled virgin guy that i was on that site. she was shocked.

me personally, i wouldn't mind going to a jub gathering just to see how folks differ from how they are online. i wouldn't be surprised if folks weren't the same way they appear online. i know that i'm not. the only time i'll get comfortable to act stupid and silly is when i'm at home or when i'm with my brother or with my homies. other than that, i'm a nervous wreck that behaves himself.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

i actually tried to audition for the real world once (the 2nd vegas season) BUT i think i was disqualified since i sent them two emails when i should have only sent one. i don't think i would have got on anyway because they apparently were looking for some people with some fucked up backgrounds and serious issues. i waited in some crowded dance studio with like how many other young people. never will do that again. there were tons of gay guys there too. tons of young ladies. i saw nick from the real world hollywood too. he's like 5'10. dude talked to people in the room and at one point, he pointed me out and said that i looked nervous in which i was.

i actually took off from work that day too. to anybody that ever decides to audition for these shows, READ THE CONTRACT! you are basically selling your life to the production company and mtv. this is the reason why you see NOBODY on that show for the past how many seasons. they can't do anything unless mtv allows them to. they have to ask for permission from mtv and the production company to do something whether it's going to school or appearing in a commercial. your future is in their hands for real. you only get 5,000 dollars too for being behind the camera. that's it.

one last thing too which is crazy. if you're picked for the show, you have to go on the challenges. if you don't, then you might get in trouble for it. they're also not liable for anything that happens to you either so if you die on the show or during the challenge, your family can't sue. also upon agree with the contract, you agree that they're not responsible for letting you know who your roommates are or what you're going to do on the show.

with that said, i'm glad i didn't get called back.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

is there any worse a feeling at playing video games from the original playstation or sega genesis from the 90s and realizing how old you were then and how old you were now? playing crash bandicoop 2. damn, i'm getting old.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

is there any worse a feeling at playing video games from the original playstation or sega genesis from the 90s and realizing how old you were then and how old you were now? playing crash bandicoop 2. damn, i'm getting old.

It's honestly much worse when you play games that were the shit at the time they were out and gamers today haven't even HEARD of them.

It's honestly much worse when you play games that were the shit at the time they were out and gamers today haven't even HEARD of them.

for real, talk to any of these gamers about the 32x or sega cd or even the virtual boy and they'll look @ you like you're crazy. the funny part is that the games from back then seem much more better than the games that are out now. call of duty is supposed to be the best game out. that game sucks.

now they have the ps4 and new xbox about to come out. geez.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

for real, talk to any of these gamers about the 32x or sega cd or even the virtual boy and they'll look @ you like you're crazy. the funny part is that the games from back then seem much more better than the games that are out now. call of duty is supposed to be the best game out. that game sucks.

now they have the ps4 and new xbox about to come out. geez.

Yup if it isn't Sonic, Mario or Zelda, good luck talking to gamers about the classics. :/

Yup if it isn't Sonic, Mario or Zelda, good luck talking to gamers about the classics. :/

the sad thing is those games were . it sucks that they won't rerelease any of the sonic, mario or nintendo classics for the xbox and ps3. i'm hoping that sega decides to put out all the sonic games that came out for the genesis and 32x. was trying to website that had old generation games but the site's software doesn't work for my computer.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

I own a couple of old sonic games through xbox live. Sonic 1, 2, 3 (I think Sonic and Knuckles), Sonic CD. Both Sonic Adventure games and Sonic 4 episode 1 and 2 are on there.

Also you'd only get nintendo classics on a nintendo console.

they had a sonic adventure 2? the first one was okay. was the second one better? remember playing that back in freshman year of hs when we had the snow days. they did the dreamcast dirty.

surprised that sonic 4 didn't take off the way it did. it was supposed to be a 2d 3d type of game right like how street fighter 4 was right? it's tragic to see how sega fell off the planet. it's also messed up how sega hooked up the xbox but couldn't do the same thing for the playstation. is it true that xbox live has knuckles chaotix on there? if they do, i'll be pissed.

and nintendo, honestly, it's good to see nintendo is still around but they need to stop making mario games exclusively for nintendo systems now. most folks that are into mario aren't going to buy a wii just to play that. speaking of all that. it would be nice if sega could release the game gear games for xbox live and the ps network. the game gear and original gameboy had some serious games on there back in the day. makes the ps vita, psp and all those new handheld games look like total shit.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

you know, honestly, i think it's ironic how there's this message from the lgbt community that talk about tolerance, be tolerant towards who i am, and etc BUT yet from what i'm noticing, there's quite a lot of lgbt folks that are intolerant themselves towards others. it's a whole lot of "respect me and who i am" but i don't have to do the same thing to you. now with that said, how can you want respect but yet not give it? l

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

You are coming along magnificently.
Articulating instead of diarrhea mouthing.

Just be careful, as you progress, not to fall into
the pot calling the kettle black syndrome...

One cannot demand from others what one
doesn't give of himself.

yeah, i make one step forward and two steps back. but i'm learning to take the embarrassment that comes with the mistakes as bad enough as they may be, i'll live. i've been through much worse so a little embarrassment isn't that bad.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

i used to be so deep into wrestling as a kid that i used to practice wrestling moves on my brother as well as my childhood friends at where i used to live. we were straight up stupid with it. we'd practice the sweet chin music, the powerbomb, tombstone, razors edge and the whole nine. a couple of times, i have fun powerbombing somebody into the bushes. the funny thing was i was skinny as fuck too like 10 years old weighing 80 pounds powerbombing other kids that were 120. i felt like a beast.

there was one time where my brother and me were practicing wrestling moves in the bedroom we shared as kids. one time, i got so hyped up that i almost shoved my brother through the window. luckily the curtains saved him from falling out. my mom whipped my ass that day and i had to use my pocket money to buy a new window. i was like 9 years old at the time.

my brother used to be a fucking stuntman too. he used to do some crazy shit like climbing garages and one time, he climbed the shelf in our living room and tried to lay down on the top. he didn't get hurt or whatever. he could have died but he made it out in one piece unscathed and unhurt. he didn't fall or bust his ass either. don't know how we did it.

i feel as a kid that i wasted a lot of my potential on bullshit and when i hit 12, that's when i started to get depressed and everything went downhill from there. the funny thing is i used to hump the bed and the first time i busted a nut which was when i was 12 years old in the spring of 99, i was knocked the fuck out to sleep. from that point, i got into the bad habit of falling asleep in the daytime and staying up at night basically fucking up my really fucked up sleep cycle. i abused myself a lot as a kid.

i also never learned to tie my shoes until the 1st grade. my 3rd grade teacher, who on the top 10 best teachers i've ever had list, taught me how to tie my shoes in the 1st grade despite my other classmates making fun of me for not knowing how to do it. what can i say? i was getting used to the classroom because i spent the last year shuffling between kindergarten where i was getting abused by teachers and students and in special education where i was getting speech therapy since i couldn't talk.

also, i think that i MIGHT have a little bit of autism though due to the fact that i had developmental delay where i basically didn't learn how to talk until i was 5 years old, didn't learn how to walk until i was past a certain age and basically was slow at things that other kids basically picked up early. i actually would like to know WHY i had that developmental delay though and if it wasn't because of any other reason or if i don't have a problem which i THINK i do. i'm getting all of that sorted out though. hopefully the upcoming psych evaluation takes care of all of that.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

My ex (we split in May, kinda, I guess) and I are still seeing a lot of eachother and still....well, y'know

Anyway, we've kinda agreed it's a friends with benefits thing.

My friends disprove of me seeing him so much, but they think we're just hanging out, nothing to write home about.

Truth be told, I'm still totally in love with him and I know, deep down, that I'm just hanging out (and whatever else) with him just to keep him in my life.

I want to be able to move on, but can't.

Anyway, he and I had plans tonight and he bailed without even letting me know. It's almost 5am here and it wasn't until about 3am that I gave up on the idea of him coming over. I'm all set to fall out with him tomorrow and tell him to go fuck himself, but I know once I've slept on it and realised how much I miss him, I'll likely buckle and agree to him coming over.

you must be really hot if you have some of the ladies in your job having crushes on you and such.

He is rather handsome.

Originally Posted by justsimon

I'm decent looking, though I don't have a lot of confidence regarding that. I'm mostly just very nice.

......

Originally Posted by xbuzzerx

It's honestly much worse when you play games that were the shit at the time they were out and gamers today haven't even HEARD of them.

I find it even worse when they say the only reason why people like the "old" games is nostalgia.

Originally Posted by refujiunderground

they had a sonic adventure 2? the first one was okay. was the second one better? remember playing that back in freshman year of hs when we had the snow days. they did the dreamcast dirty.

You...you've never heard of Sonic Adventure 2?
I can't comment on whether or not it's "better" because what makes a game "good", bad", or "better" than another is completely subjective. But I will say that if you're a fan of the Sonic series, then you should play it. It was rereleased on the Gamecube in 2002, and again for XBox Live and PSN this year.

Originally Posted by refujiunderground

and nintendo, honestly, it's good to see nintendo is still around but they need to stop making mario games exclusively for nintendo systems now. most folks that are into mario aren't going to buy a wii just to play that. speaking of all that. it would be nice if sega could release the game gear games for xbox live and the ps network. the game gear and original gameboy had some serious games on there back in the day. makes the ps vita, psp and all those new handheld games look like total shit.

I disagree. You'd be surprised how many people bought a WiiU on launch day just to play "new" Mario Bros. U

I find it even worse when they say the only reason why people like the "old" games is nostalgia.

Alright gamer nerd rage time.

Yes that comment makes me angry like no other! Ugh. Today seriously sometimes I think as long as it's got standard graphics (i.e. looks like every other game out there, think FPS) the game could literally play like trying to navigate your way through a Charles Dickens novel using a wet fish (which is still alive) as your controller and gamers would say it's at least better than those shitty old games with bad graphics that only hardcore bitter oldschool people say are good.

i think my destiny is to be a fighter or a boxer or something that pertains to fighting since i love fighting for some reason. watching this fight right now, i wanna be in the boxing ring swinging off on somebody's head. i can't fight or know how to but i'm willing to learn. should have continued martial arts when i was a kid and i would have been able to whip ass from here to whereever whenever i felt like it. have so much anger that i would love to get out with my fist instead of speaking or writing it or whatever.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

Yes that comment makes me angry like no other! Ugh. Today seriously sometimes I think as long as it's got standard graphics (i.e. looks like every other game out there, think FPS) the game could literally play like trying to navigate your way through a Charles Dickens novel using a wet fish (which is still alive) as your controller and gamers would say it's at least better than those shitty old games with bad graphics that only hardcore bitter oldschool people say are good.

This video pretty much sums up my opinion on a lot of newer games:

They tend to be less intuitive and more tedious. Rather than introducing a new concept or obstacle with subtlety, there are hints and explanations for how to overcome it. There's less thought involved and it detracts from the feeling of accomplishment. In particular, the game design of more recent FPS games tends to be slower, and seems to focus more on realism rather than competitive gameplay. Games like Quake and UT99 are fast paced and intense, and there's a larger skill ceiling because reaction time and flickshots are more important when the game speed is higher.

I think game designers are focusing more on cut scenes and realism because it appeals to the largest market; casual gamers. People like myself who tend to focus on the competitive / skill based aspects of video games are the decided minority, and it's going to be much more profitable for them to focus on appealing to casual gamers. It sucks for sure, but that's just the way it is.

Nostalgia is just one of many reasons I prefer older games to new releases.