Dear Danish Railroads…

I was past Copenhagen Central Station this evening. I came from North Zealand (direction towards Elsinore) and had to travel onwards on the western line. Except, there seemed to be few or no trains available – apparently there is track work tonight for the zillionth time – so I ended up taking the suburban train (the “S-toget”) towards Høje Taastrup.

However I noticed that you were handing out free coffee in the station’s main hall. Nice touch. But I passed it by. I rarely drink coffee in the evening.

Also, I didn’t come to the station for coffee. If I want coffee, I go to a cafe; not to a train station. When I go to a train station, chances are I am looking for transportation. All too often, I don’t find it. Instead I get to hear a set of standard excuses about delays due to “signal problems”, “technical problems”, “work on the tracks”, or “personnel shortage” (the last one is a good one. Did one of your train drivers die? Or did they just forget to go to work? Or maybe they couldn’t get there on time because their train was delayed??).

I have also been held “on the line” for long times with repeated assurances that “Your train will arrive at the platform in a few minutes” or “This train will depart soon”. Before you know it, you have spent half an hour waiting for your train, and you don’t dare go find another mode of transportation because the train might actually arrive soon. And of course I have tried waiting for repeated “Approximately five minutes”, only to be told that the train has now been cancelled.

Quite frankly I am on the verge of sacking you forever. Owning a car is more expensive but I can’t keep risking arriving late for personal appointments on your willingness and ability to offer the transportation you are paid for offering.

(Apologies to non-Danish readers. Both mottos are puns that are difficult/impossible to translate. The first motto means “We keep more than we promise!” but can also mean, “We stand still more than we promise!”

“Ud at se med DSB” is the Danish Railroads’ old motto. It means “Out to see with DSB”. My suggestion means “Out to look for DSB”.)