8 Ways David Cross’ Marriage To Amber Tamblyn Won’t Be Like Tobias And Lindsay On Arrested Development

Just about a year after getting engaged, Amber Tamblyn and David Crossquietly tied the knot this weekend in an intimate ceremony. We don’t have too many details about the wedding aside from what we can glean from this Instagram photo, but we know enough about this odd couple (she’s 29, he’s 48) that we can predict some of what their wedded bliss will be like. Primarily, the major differences between this union and the more infamous marriage of David’s Arrested Development character Tobias Fünke and his wife Lindsay (Portia de Rossi).

1. As you can see from the photo above, the groom did not wear jean cut-offs or have infected hair plugs. The bride worse a tasteful white gown that did not have the word “SLUT” bedazzled across the chest.

2. The reception music likely did not include “Afternoon Delight.” Their friend Lance Bangs, who took the sweet photo, reported that Yo La Tengo played covers of Superchunk, Mission of Burma, and Pixies. Questlove from The Roots also DJed.

3. Rather than have an open marriage where David covers himself in blue paint and stalks Amber on her dates, they’ll be joined at the hip and always show up to red carpet events or White House Correspondent Dinners together.

4. Though they’re both actors, they won’t compete over getting cast in local commercials about fire… sales. In fact, after fake-breaking-up on The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, they’ll probably share the camera several more times.

5. Her father Russ Tamblyn will be much prouder of his son-in-law than George Sr. ever was of Tobias. And David probably won’t try to play Russ in a poorly-narrated reality show about the Tamblyns’ lives.

6. Instead of political rallies for lackluster causes, Amber will drag David to beat poetry events.

7. Their birth announcement will not be Amber screaming in a bloody bath with the caption There’s a girl in my soup! Or maybe it will—these two seem to like to troll people, so I wouldn’t put a funky birth past them. But I doubt he’ll ever have to dress up as a busy British nanny to secretly take care of his and Amber’s children.

8. With all hope, neither will come back and say, “I’ve made a terrible mistake.”