DAE remember times when GC was getting scolded, and all of a sudden you get sucked into the blame?

I had a random memory of a time that by GC bro was in trouble for something that I had absolutely no involvement in. It's a rare time when NMom is actually on HIS case instead of mine. So she's screaming her head off at him when suddenly she's saying stuff like
"You AND your sister are both fuckin useless! I'm so disappointed in BOTH of you!"
Is that something that all parents do? I was always so incredibly offended by that. I mean, I guess a rampage is a rampage...

Been NC for over 3 years. I love/hate getting memories like this. It's validating, but it makes me sad.

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Oh yes, it's like a cat twisting mid-air to land on its feet. Somehow, some way the ultimate fault must lie with the SG, even with all evidence to the contrary.

An_empty_bus

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Oct 3, 2017, 2:30 AM

My brother (GC of the past couple of years,dynamic changes as to who is best at fulfilling expectations) got busted for smoking pot, that summer I finished term in high school with "excellent" (different grading system, I'm not in US) and by default instead of being rewarded I was actually grounded and my curfew was cut shorter than ever...

DmKrispin

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Oct 3, 2017, 8:06 AM

Yes, it was common in my house. My GC older brother has behavioral issues (not diagnosed until adulthood), and was always actively getting in trouble or at least being contrary/going for shock value.

When he was being scolded or punished for his antics, I would usually get included, despite having absolutely nothing to do with it.

The most frequent method they used was ranting to my face that I’d “better not” put them through whatever my brother was doing ... but they’d say it like I was already nefariously plotting to do [whatever], so that justified them being angry and yelling at me! In their minds, I was definitely going to be guilty of [whatever] because I was, of course, a lesser human being and infinitely more flawed/evil than my GC brother. It didn’t help that my brother is a huge liar, and loves to pit people against each other ... but I believe he learned that from our Nparents.

Then they’d complain bitterly about dealing with us kids. Now, it was just me and my brother, but the complaints definitely included me, despite the fact that I was a shy, quiet, obedient, smart, studious, respectful child.

It hurt and seriously messed with my self-esteem. Then again, I think that was the whole point ... keeping me scared and hurt and compliant.