Conquering Approach Anxiety - 2 Perspectives

Frame it differently. If you frame an approach as a do or die situation in which you are desperate for a close, this is high pressure. Frame it like this: You are being the fun sociable guy who will talk to people and have fun, and if you happen to be in an interaction with an HB (Hot Babe) that is going well, the close will be natural.

Take baby steps: If you are going in to close, you have a lot more to think about and you will have more AA. Instead, in the early days, just aim to open as much as possible. Don’t over think, just say hi to strangers or cheers them, or wave, or ask a simple question then leave. When you are comfortable opening, you can work on progressing things and actually start opening to close.

Reduce the pressure. Going up to a girl and telling her “I want you, and nothing is going to stop me getting you” would be pretty cool if it worked but is going to give you huge approach anxiety because there is too much pressure. Find simple reasons to start conversations to start with. Opinion openers are low-pressure and a much easier way to start a conversation.

Don’t be too fussy. If you only approach SHBs (Super Hot Babes), it will take you years to get over your approach anxiety simply because there aren’t many about. Lower your standards for starting interactions until you can find 20 sets a night to open. You don’t need to close them, only open! You will still conquer your AA and then you can raise your standards again.

It’s called analysis paralysis, once you think about it longer then 3 seconds (hence the 3 second rule was invented) your inner voice takes over and you first have to have a debate with your inner voice to see if you will or will not approach.

You may win or lose this battle in your head but even if you win your inner voice has spread doubt in your influenced mind, so you will be going in not the full ticket!

You can battle this inner voice with your own voice and also using an anchor, I like to squeeze my fist and say in my head or out loud (for special) occasions) “MAN UP”.

To me it means be the man, I’m a man, it’s a man’s right, lets get breeding. Its natural to breed, it’s the most powerful instinct so why fight it? why let that little voice that has been the bane of your life? Don’t let it mess with you anymore, because you know in your heart that every time you have stood up to your (bad) inner voice you have felt powerful and great, so why won’t you stand up to him, if you stand up to him you can stand up to anyone.

The more you let that voice control you the more it will, until it’s so powerful that pretty much nothing but hypnosis can cure it!!! If you fight it every day, hour, minute, do crazy things, wave at people, stick your tongue out, wink and smile little things to start with until the voice dies out to a quiet murmur.