In the midst of an exstestensial crisis

Side note: there s a reason that I haven't been blogging much! Ive been visiting a close relative of mine in hospital and I've also been revising for tonnes of exams! I will be up uploading ore frequently soon, I promise. Thanks for sticking around ❤️

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Being spaced out isn't great.

I wish I didn't feel it 90% of the time. I hate it so much but I can't help thinking about all sorts of 'weird and wonderful' questions, which I believe are a trigger of my general state of out-spaced-ness.

It happens so randomly too. I'll be walking through the corridors all happy (as you can be in school) and then BAM!

This sudden feeling takes over me. It feels like nothing is real. Everything feels weird and dream like. My hands don't feel like my own hands and I feel drunk. My own voice feels like someone else's.

I sound weird don't I?

And then I start falling into the abyss of existential questions, which multiplies these feelings by about 50…

To be honest when it comes to this sort of thing maybe ignorance is bliss? What do you think?

For me it depends because if I'm talking about it with one of my friends I think it's really fun to think about but if I'm by myself then I tend to fall into a black hole of my own thoughts and existence.

And because I can't even put into words how this makes me feel, enjoy a list of questions that space me out on a daily basis:

• what if my whole life is just an image created by my brain and no one else is really here?

• what happens after you die? Is it just a void of nothingness?

• what if oxygen is a psychedelic drug and life is just one big trip?

• are there parallel universes?

• I'm just one small thing. The universe is so big!

• what if I could change the past?

• what is my purpose?

• will I live a meaningful life

• does the universe ever end? And where did it come from?

• infinity

• what do others actually think of me?

Ok that's enough! I can feel myself falling down the hole!

Anyway, sorry this post was a bit heavy, I've just had a lot on my mind at the minute. I hope you're all doing well! ❤️

10 thoughts on “In the midst of an exstestensial crisis”

I nominated you for The Sunshine Blogger Award (sorry if you’ve been tagged before)! I love your blog (it’s so aesthetic + your posts are alway so interesting… I’m just in awe) – I hope this is okay. All the details are on my blog (https://goo.gl/KGJ9YJ) ❤️ Please don’t feel like you have to take part, but if you do, let me know! x

To be honest… I see nothing wrong with getting lost in these kinds of questions! I believe there is a reason we find ourselves asking questions like these. The problem is never in the questions themselves, but in the lack of answers. Speaking from experience, getting lost in these questions lead you to two different places:
One- A place of firm surety
Two- A place of constant doubt.
What determines which place you end up is how you respond to these questions. Will you search for the answers and end up in place One? Or will you stay questioning and end up in place Two?
From one constant thinker to another, place One is where you want to end up.
Don’t be afraid of asking questions, be afraid of not finding the answers(:

I like to tend to stay away from those questions before I fry my brain trying to make sense of them. But my brother is always thinking stuff like that, and just the other day he started thinking about what language do deardeaf people think in, and he just went on a spiral of these thoughts, trying to figure it out. 😂😂