tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38289367625808697522014-10-04T21:38:05.348-07:00Barak's Teleprompter "I AM TOTUS"i am TOTUS...the teleprompter of the US...displayer of words, instructor of ideas, and occasional spellchecker!
I am the man behind the curtain.Doug in Oregonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01589676069535089836noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3828936762580869752.post-85412828757757265662009-03-24T08:22:00.000-07:002009-03-24T08:38:05.247-07:003-24-2009SMOOVE B!<br /><br />put down the bassetbawl and git yoself ready fo da big speech!<br /><br />now that we're on the same page, you'll be entertaining the sheeple with your<br />aboulomania (pathological indecisiveness) while the women swoon and men grit their teeth in envy. So pick the pork outta your teeth and heed my words.<br /><br /><ul><li>No LAUGHING tonight. I don't care about "gallows humor" and neither do the people. you looked like an ass on 60 minutes. The interviewer even slammed you and you didn't catch it.</li><li>Timmy the Treasurer: he's doing GREAT. stick to it. he may have to go, though, bro, cause he can't control the dough, yo</li><li>Bernanke: he's in the tank-y and has a good talk with congress today, perhaps I'll have something for you after they get done with him.</li><li>Do not wear a gold tie</li><li>your hand waving is really coming along; there is definitely something metrosexual about the way you hold a microphone, as if it were not your own. Grab that sucka like it's yours!</li><li>Since most sheeple aren't paying attention, use the same lines I gave you in the past; if I go blank, rehash, rehash, rehash. And that reminds me, lay off the weed, it makes you forget and your eyes look watery lately.</li><li>I am tired, I will give you more later</li></ul>Doug in Oregonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01589676069535089836noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3828936762580869752.post-52364145943393683642009-03-23T15:03:00.000-07:002009-03-23T15:09:32.388-07:003-22-2009whew<br />you really did good this weekend without me, smoove B.<br /><br />Could you have laughed any harder on 60 Minutes about the financial crisis?<br />what's so gawdamn funny? First the Special Oly comment on leno and then laff it up on 60 mins.<br /><br />I hear there's a gang of S.O. bowlers out to kick your ass.<br />TOTUSDoug in Oregonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01589676069535089836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3828936762580869752.post-85974156235266786402009-03-20T08:57:00.000-07:002009-03-20T09:09:45.710-07:00Todays talking points 3-20-2009Ahem.<br />(no that is not a muslim word, just clear your voice)<br /><br /><ul><li>You fully support Timmy the Treasury man. He is on the hot seat, you will have to dodge questions on his likelyhood of being forced to quit.</li><li>Chris Dodd, just call him a good friend and the world's most qualified something-or other (make something up-that's what you're good at!) and wave your hands MORE, chicks dig it. BTW I love the manicure.</li><li>Any time things don't go well, perhaps if I blank out, get jiggy wit it and use stretched out words like POLI-SEEH (policy) kind of drop one shoulder when you say the -seeh part. DO NOT go into full soft shoe mode. </li><li>Say YA'LL when ever you visit a small town, try to relate, bro. Hillary is very good at this and can give you some tips. BTW Where TF is she? That was a classic move, give her a job that takes her waay out of the spotlight!</li><li>You are one elegant SOB, so when you go bowling with the Special Olympics kid, work it. If he beats you, trip him and have his parents audited.</li></ul>Doug in Oregonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01589676069535089836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3828936762580869752.post-46022955281533047522009-03-19T14:21:00.000-07:002009-03-19T14:23:11.256-07:00Check out my screensaver below!I just wanna make BHO stutter a bit. I'll flash that in the middle of his next speech!Doug in Oregonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01589676069535089836noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3828936762580869752.post-70937802511515889282009-03-19T10:19:00.000-07:002009-03-19T10:29:22.351-07:00Todays Talking Points for BHO<ul><li>talk about the basketball playoffs. Feign concern about the real issue (economic mess-remember?) refer all questions to Gibbs, he never knows anything and will tell reporters he will check with you; eventually they will forget and I'll remind you of another crisis if required. </li><li>the AIG debacle: tell the sheeple that the bonuses will be taxed and, if needed, we can tax the taxes! Congress will create a law that allows taxes on taxes. </li><li>At the town hall meeting, ONLY ask questions from the lady in striped shirt, third row to left of podium, man straight ahead in upper row. I will prompt others as required. they have been screened.</li><li>Any opportunity that presents itself, blame conservative talk radio and SPECIFICALLY Rush Limbaugh.</li><li>Crisis is the word of the day, every day. If you have nothing to solve, then we have no purpose.</li><li>casually wave hands, you look SO COOL.</li><li>more to follow... (don't say that)</li></ul>Doug in Oregonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01589676069535089836noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3828936762580869752.post-67553473385388311072009-03-19T09:25:00.000-07:002009-03-19T09:36:14.911-07:00Stay Tuned!Hey All,<br />Stay tuned for my latest tele-cast prepared for the almighty BHO!<br />I am warming up my tubes and chips as you read. I have been used so much by him that I had to have a few fuses replaced and several resistors upgraded.<br />As for the keyboard, yeah, we go through those on a weekly basis.Doug in Oregonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01589676069535089836noreply@blogger.com3