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Dear Diary:
Today, when I walked to school, the neighbours kids threw raw eggs at me, again. As I ran crying back to my home, so that I could get some sympathy from my drunk dad, I got a fist placed between my eyes. Of course, the fist belongs to Tedd Knuckleberry, the schools worst and dumbest bully. The Dulson twins was right behind him, laughing and pointing at me. When I got up, he said:

Dear Diary: Today we had an unprepared math test! Of course, I got A++, and afterwards a kick in the groin by Tedd. The pain was horrific ( like the latest Uwe Boll movie, ching!) and it felt like my nuts changed place with my kidneys.

- Hey, fucktard. It seems like you got the highest grade again, huh? You know what that means?

- What do...

Thats the last thing I remembered. I woke up several hours later in the nearby hospital, with a number of broken ribs, a broken wrist, and a numb feeling in my anus. The doctor said that the schools janitor found me in the restroom, with my pants down at my ankles and a paper bag over my head.
The doctor checked his clipboard, began to laugh and said:

Dear Diary: Today, at luchtime, they served my favourite meal, baked salmon with black bread! As I was trying to eat while Tedd threw his salmon at me, guess who walked into the cafeteria? Shut up, you know nothing! In came the most beautiful girl in the world. She was like an angel, but with boobs. She had eyes blue as the sea, hair wild like the jungle bush, a mouth so...so...mouthlike. She came forth to me, and said:

- Hey, is this seat taken?

- N-n-n-n-n-n-no...

- Great!

She then got a firm grasp on the chair, smashed it against my head. Over and over again.

Dear Diary: Today, I have decided. I shall go emo. When my wrists look like a cutting board and my lips are black like Hitler'smoustache , then I must be accepted, and LOVED, by the people! THEN THEY WILL HAVE RESPECT FOR ME!