coping with emotions :(

My sister and I had a huge argument and she brought up my dreads and saying How i look retarted and like a fucking stoner. That I smoke weed all the time but its ok for her to drink underage or just drinking in general. I really took offense to it and it really upsets me that people think you only have dreads to look like a stoner when im embracing the rastafarian culture. I dont no how to deal with it anymore

Have you tried to explain to her about your choices? Perhaps she doesn't understand? Or, perhaps, she's just your sister and is just trying to start crap like siblings do.

If you've tried to be reasonable and explain to her and she chooses not to understand or accept your choices, then perhaps you should just ignore her. I know that can be difficult to do, especially if you happen to live in the same house, but you should take care of yourself. If these choices were made freely by you and you are happy with them, then you shouldn't let it bother you.

I do understand that relatives can hurt us more than most, even if they don't mean to.

It is unfortunate some people do relate dreadlocks to stoners only due to ignorance on the history and to individual people in general. All I can say is to lead by example. Be the beautiful person that you are, keep your chin up (which is not easy all the time) and YOU enjoy YOUR dreadlocks and YOUR choice to grow them. Most people feel a need to categorize an individual on first impressions, whether it be their hair, clothing, job or whatever. Believe me when I say that you will find your own way how to deal with it, and eventually you really won't care. I don't know your age, but I am sure you are young, and it is harder at that age, emotions play a big part in every day life, but just know that in 3 years you are going to have grown the most beautiful hair a gal could have. Hang tough and enjoy all the other parts of your journey, don't let anyone destroy that for you. Take good care Kerry.....peace

No offense, but your sister is an idiot... at least with this. There are many people who suffer from the same idioticy when it comes to such topics. I had the same issue with some friends, they destroy their hair by straightening/dying constantly, and wear tons of make up, but I'm the one who looks bad because I have natural locks and dont wear make-up? It honestly makes no sense. Just ignore her, I'm sure you dont tell her she looks bad cake facing (if she does that), or that straightening looks bad. And if you smoke weed, that's your decision as much as she is drinking. At least weed doesn't kill you as much as alcohol does.

Don't get too beat up about it, your locks look awesome and you look wonderful with them

I no right! people think its ok to get drunk but smoking a plant out of the ground is not ok. it really makes me mad of how dumb people really are.

Sunflower said:

No offense, but your sister is an idiot... at least with this. There are many people who suffer from the same idioticy when it comes to such topics. I had the same issue with some friends, they destroy their hair by straightening/dying constantly, and wear tons of make up, but I'm the one who looks bad because I have natural locks and dont wear make-up? It honestly makes no sense. Just ignore her, I'm sure you dont tell her she looks bad cake facing (if she does that), or that straightening looks bad. And if you smoke weed, that's your decision as much as she is drinking. At least weed doesn't kill you as much as alcohol does.

Don't get too beat up about it, your locks look awesome and you look wonderful with them

people will say what they say. i feel like the dreads really are a spiritual journey, especially with patience. patience in the time it takes for them, and patience in the sense that you must tolerate the negative assumptions and connotations that come with it. there will always be people that are jealous or just dont understand. just know that you are loved by many no matter what and remember to love yourself. try not to let peoples opinions and thoughts hit you in that hurtful sense even if it is hard to do so.

To justify marijuana and not alcohol is really stupid, I don't even like that you compare theme.Yes one cause more health issues but they are both bad for the health, your choice how you want to spend your life thought I don't think one should compare hitting one self with a spade or hammer. If you are smoking pot then why shouldn't see you as stoner, since that is what you are. Nothing to do with the dreadlocks but the choices you make.

Off topic:Saying that marijuana is a gateway drug is also very stupid to say, you might as well say water is a gateway drug since we need water to even try the other drugs.

Eric Andrikowich said:

I no right! people think its ok to get drunk but smoking a plant out of the ground is not ok. it really makes me mad of how dumb people really are.

Sunflower said:

No offense, but your sister is an idiot... at least with this. There are many people who suffer from the same idioticy when it comes to such topics. I had the same issue with some friends, they destroy their hair by straightening/dying constantly, and wear tons of make up, but I'm the one who looks bad because I have natural locks and dont wear make-up? It honestly makes no sense. Just ignore her, I'm sure you dont tell her she looks bad cake facing (if she does that), or that straightening looks bad. And if you smoke weed, that's your decision as much as she is drinking. At least weed doesn't kill you as much as alcohol does.

Don't get too beat up about it, your locks look awesome and you look wonderful with them

smoking weed as asacramentis not considered being a stoner. Smoking it recreationally and abusing it isconsideredbeing a stoner.

Karl Gard said:

To justify marijuana and not alcohol is really stupid, I don't even like that you compare theme.Yes one cause more health issues but they are both bad for the health, your choice how you want to spend your life thought I don't think one should compare hitting one self with a spade or hammer. If you are smoking pot then why shouldn't see you as stoner, since that is what you are. Nothing to do with the dreadlocks but the choices you make.

Off topic:Saying that marijuana is a gateway drug is also very stupid to say, you might as well say water is a gateway drug since we need water to even try the other drugs.

Eric Andrikowich said:

I no right! people think its ok to get drunk but smoking a plant out of the ground is not ok. it really makes me mad of how dumb people really are.

Sunflower said:

No offense, but your sister is an idiot... at least with this. There are many people who suffer from the same idioticy when it comes to such topics. I had the same issue with some friends, they destroy their hair by straightening/dying constantly, and wear tons of make up, but I'm the one who looks bad because I have natural locks and dont wear make-up? It honestly makes no sense. Just ignore her, I'm sure you dont tell her she looks bad cake facing (if she does that), or that straightening looks bad. And if you smoke weed, that's your decision as much as she is drinking. At least weed doesn't kill you as much as alcohol does.

Don't get too beat up about it, your locks look awesome and you look wonderful with them

It's hard to do, but don't allow anyone other than yourself to really influence your emotions to such a degree as to question your self worth and such. Words spoken out of anger or any variation on that emotion are usually shallow and fleeting words. At least in my experiences.