Sun film critic Jamie East nails the outdoor anti-Towie look which has ‘men reclaiming their masculinity’

Scruffy outdoor rugged looks are in and 43-year-old Jamie East couldn't be happier

By Jamie East, Sun Film Critic

7th April 2017, 11:47 pm

Updated: 7th April 2017, 11:47 pm

APPARENTLY, I’m a lumbersexual.

After a brief panic, wondering if there is a cream for it, I’m told it is in fact “A young urban man who cultivates an appearance and style of dress, typified by a beard and check shirt, suggestive of a rugged outdoor lifestyle.”

Some fashion commentators have suggested the trend is men “reclaiming masculinity” – a reaction against the preened and over-groomed look favoured by Towie stars and Portuguese footballers.

I’m just glad I’m hip for once. It only took 43 years to find my look.

Hey, non-lumbersexual fellas – want to join my gang?

Look at my week as I’ve described it here, and tell me you couldn’t do the same (naturally I’ve left out the time I spend on my weekday show on Virgin Radio, or the horrible hours spent lounging in a cinema doing film reviews for you guys).

Tuesday - Motorbikes

Speedster Jamie is a true lumbersexual and not just along for the ride

THE chosen vehicle for any righteous lumberdude.

Part of the deal about living in the countryside is that you are often hamstrung by communist regimes known as train operators.

On these days, my retro-looking Ducati steps up to the plate and I cherish the hours when my beautifully oiled beard gets parted by the breeze as I hurtle down the A3 like Ed Sheeran listening to Tiny Dancer in that song of his.

I commute into London, dragging slowly past my fellow lumbersexual men in the achingly trendy areas of Hoxton and Old Street.

Talking of beard oil, being lumbersexual brings with it grooming challenges that most blokes don’t even think of.

The face fur needs constant attention — in the morning I’m faced with a choice of oils to keep it looking lustrous.

Shall I use the Baron Bergamot and Orange, or the Old Joll’s Mandarin and Cedarwood?

Wednesday - Carpentry and DIY

I WON’T lie — I bought an eco-house five years ago on a whim, thinking I was some Kevin McCloud kind of fella. I was wrong.

Turns out that living in a solar-powered Teletubby house with its own air system and pumping station (whatever that is) takes a strong, manly lumbersexual to keep on top of it — someone with dexterity, patience, strength and a real knowledge of his surroundings.

His name is Gareth, he’s built like a brick outhouse.

Whereas this is me, pretending to screw in a fence post that someone else put up.

Thursday - Man and Hound

Unfortunately my two, Floyd and Ernie, are the stupidest animals since that monkey who was found in Ikea wearing a sheepskin coat.

One has an impulse which means that any rug ever bought for the past seven years must be crapped on, and the other can’t walk past a canal without falling in.

I don’t know if you’ve ever tried lifting a 5st Vizsla out of a canal while wearing lumbersexual hiking boots and parka in January, but it is quite difficult to do with any degree of masculinity or dignity, especially when the mud makes it look like you’ve been caught short.

It’s tougher than it looks, being this manly. It was almost easier when people didn’t stop and ask for pictures or squeeze my axe-wielding biceps every time I showed them a picture of me holding a chicken on a motorbike — but it certainly wasn’t as much fun.

Right . . . time to buy those crocodiles.

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Other trendy styles

CAN’T grow a decent beard and hate checked shirts?

No problem, there are plenty of other trends you might belong too.
Read our guide below to everything from a hipster to a spornosexual . . .