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Friday, March 18, 2011

Odds and Ends

Seriously, as a salaried employee shouldn't I get to leave early on a Friday for no reason other than because I want to? No? Oh. Damn.

What about if it is medically necessary for me to soak up some Vitamin D? Still no?

Moving on.

**Alcohol and Pregnancy**

After A was so sweet and gushy about me being preggo when I first told him, the like third thing out of his mouth was, "Well, I guess I have a dd for the next ten months or so!" accompanied by a huge grin.

Ha! Now, neither of us are really big drinkers, but as I alluded in my last post, I love wine. Just a glass with dinner, yum, so right. So, when A wanted a glass of wine with dinner it was a big deal to me (and my hormones). But, trust that he still drinks beer or whatever whenever he wants with no complaints from me.

Some husbands give up alcohol entirely as a show of good faith while their wives are k.u.'d and that is so gosh darn cute. But, I knew that was never going to be the situation in our house, and I am ok with it, so long as he doesn't drink wine. In front of me.

Now all that being said, that last post was supposed to be f-u-n-n-y, but apparently I am not good at that. Lame. Because some now think I actually breathe fire about this issue. Not true. I promise.

Also mentioned by a dear friend was that some ladies enjoy the occasional glass of wine while pregnant, and that most women in Europe don't give it up. This is true. Also, my doctor reinforced this when I asked him about it (before switching to midwives entirely).

While I am certainly not against this, as I have done the research, and most people say that a relaxed mom is more important than a mom who hasn't had a sip of alcohol (after the appropriate amount of time of gestation, yada yada yada), the guy sitting in the chair next to me at that same appointment has a big problem with it, yo. When I brought up the subject, the hubs stood firm on this as something he found "unacceptable." Direct quote.

Naturally, I balked at this as an overreaction and thought that he would eventually see as just that. But, he hasn't budged. He doesn't usually take a firm stance on things related to my decision making or behavior, as we are both pretty darn independent people, but this he has taken a stand on.

Since there have been about 3 things he has been like this about in the last 10 years, when they come up, I try to be the decent human being and not put up a fuss. So, I will do what I can to keep him happy.

Until the day he sees the light and then hallelujah, we will pop open a bottle and have a half glass each.

**Hormones**

Are making me an emotional wreck. Also doing it? Shows on Lifetime. WTH. Why did we need to develop an entire show based around military homecomings? Have you seen this? It's called Coming Home and it is basically a tv episode version of videos like these:

Why? Whhhhhyyyyyy?

The whole topic of deployment, etc. has been especially hard for me lately. When it was just me having to miss A and say goodbye to him, well, that was hard enough. But the thought and knowledge that someday in the very near future I am going to have to be the strong one, and hold it together while my kids cry because their daddy is leaving for a long time? And that I am going to have to hold it together for him, because he is going to miss so much. Ugh. Heart wrenching.

Mom, I didn't give you enough hugs. <3

**Mental Stuff**

My mental state is weird right now. For the last week, I have been very "We are having a bay. It is growing inside of me. And I will need to deliver it, and raise it, and it will be a person. WEIRD." It has been super surreal. Even baby kicks are little reminders of this person that I know nothing about. Exciting for sure, to get to know them and meet them, but ultimately so.weird.

The biggest thing that I want from this pregnancy is to be in.the.moment and to savor it, so this whole surreal disconnect thing is sort of the opposite of that. I am trying to kick myself into gear, but it's almost like my mind just cannot wrap itself around the concept of a baby coming home with us lately. Hopefully that knocks off here shortly. This is totally normal right? Someone reassure me.

**Decision Making**

The other thing, to borrow a phrase from my dear fellow pregnancy sage's boss is "paralysis due to over analysis." I could NOT have said it better. There are all these decisions and you want to make the best one, but sometimes the best thing to do is just jump in feet first. I have never had a problem being the jumper, but now...I am experiencing some hesitation. Bah.

Example: Last weekend we actually went to IKEA and picked up our dressers and two rugs. Yay! Originally we were going to go on Sunday, and then on Friday night, A decided it would be better to go on Saturday.

I panicked. For no rational reason, I was just like "Ack! We can't change the plans! I am not ready to spend that money TOMORROW. ONE MORE DAY. I NEED ONE MORE DAY."

Hormones do weird things to you. I, of course, got over it, but ugh, irrationality. Awesome.

**Happy Things**

I am wearing killer Enzo wedge sandals today that I bought for over $100 in 2006. How is it that I could fearlessly purchase things like this when I had no money and worked part time at j.crew, but now freak out about adult and necessary purchases.

If I have grown a spending conscience I might as well just end it all now.

But, this is the Happy Things section. Yay! I am wearing killer shoes, and I love them. I feel like my legs look way better in heels and it makes me feel not quite so whale-ish. And that makes me a happy camper!

Also, I get to get all gussied up this weekend and head out for Bachelorette festivities with my friend. You know I really love her because inevitably this preggo gal is going to have to pee while we are hitting the bar scene...and I am going to have to do it stone cold sober. That is love. <3

This was really supposed to be a happier post, but welcome to all the thoughts rattling around in my head. Now that they have been written down, I can breathe a huge sigh and stare out into the sunshine some more.