Friday, June 28, 2013

I've finally Made my Part two of Elijah man Take note Because some things in the story will pop up again latter in the series. Enjoy.

Last time: Elijah Casson (Elijah man) meets Awe (Awesome) and gets his power and is raced away to a secret underground base.

This time:

Elijah heard a clink then suddenly 5 more kids wearing tight’s fell through the tubes in the roof. They all looked very familiar but they were in costume so Elijah couldn't guess who they were. “Who are you” Elijah asked. They all introduced themselves It was Zach, Dylan, Tyrone, Cam and Zeb know wonder they looked familiar, they were all from his’s class. You see, he was only a year five from Parkvale School. Elijah was the leader so he decided they needed names, they all came up with names, Cam was Agent black the best spy in the Galaxy. Dylan was CaptainD the powerful crime fighting hero with his shield. Zach was Assassin Zach the mightiest Assassin ever. Zeb was Master Zebhdiyah the mighty Jedi. Tyrone was Master Tyrone He was also a very mighty Jedi. And Elijah was Elijahman the courages crime fighting super human. And together they were the Secret six the Ultimate force of justice. Now all they had to do was bling up their costumes they had been made 1000 years ago and back then they didn't have the ideal fashion for the Heroes of the 21st century. By the time they were finished it was ten o'clock at night But it was worth the effort all the costumes looked awesome. And it was time to wait for a crime.

They waited and waited and waited and waited. Then suddenly an alarming noise echoed through the whole bass the noise was deafening, a robotic voice started yelling out "Crime detected Crime detected". They snapped into action and flew over Hastings in search of crime. Master Tyrone heard an alarm and saw a man in a ski mask with two big money sacks in his hands Elijah looked around, he saw a lady yelling "stop thief!" Elijah man flew down at the speed of light and shape shifted into a giant bowling ball and knocked over the criminal. The money sacks went flying in the air and landed next to the lady. Elijah man formed his hand into a cage and captured the criminal. But what Elijah didn't know was that the criminal had a gun and was about to shoot Elijah when suddenly a strange hero flew in and saved him, it was the legendary Thunder skull he was the Hero of Auckland. He asked The secret six to go to Auckland with him and help him protect the city. "How about all of New Zealand? All seven could of us could pull that off, we have a telloporter back at our base we could go anywhere at the click of our fingers” said Elijah. Thunder skull agreed and they became the Super Seven the new ultimate force of justice.

Monday, June 24, 2013

This is my day three story of camp. I've added my success criteria because this is a piece of writing going in to my evidence book and I will assessed on it so please tell me what you think using the criteria.

WALT choose words that describe a moment (in an exciting way) for

the reader

YOUR SIGNS OF SUCCESS

begins in the action

present tense (I am, not I was)

short, sharp sentences

strong verbs

uses the senses (look, feel, hear, taste, smell)

language features (simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia, metaphor)

show personality (sounds like you, humour, feelings, exaggeration)

Conquering the caves

I’m climbing down the long muddy ladder I touch the ground woops! I slip and go zooming through the mud. I finally stop just before I fall into a hole “that was close,” I say as I get back in line. I climb up into the cave it is really dark and I turn on my torch. A mud ball comes flying past my head and I get a splash of mud on my nose. Ellis and Lily were throwing mud balls at each other they just can’t stop fighting. I look back and they're both covered in mud, Ellis looks like he has a mustache and Lily looked like she had mud for lunch. I laugh as I carry on through the cave. I reach the top I scramble up a slippery slimy rock. Richard helps me and I make it to the top. I can’t wait for the next cave.

We walk on through to a dry shelter where we have a snack. but we don’t stay for long. I clamber up the hill to the weta cave. The weta cave is not as dark as the last cave so we leave our torches off. I was not able to see any weta which was a bit disappointing but it’s ok because I’ve seen lots today. The weta cave is over quickly but we still have one left.

It takes us a little while but we eventually arrive at the last cave. This cave is very wet and muddy. I see a weta as we trudge through the cave and it’s a big one about about 6 cm long. Not long after the weta we come across a spider. It is the biggest one I've ever seen. The spider is sitting under a hole in the roof. There's water dripping down from the hole and makes a little creek. We reach the end of the cave and the creek has become one big dirty puddle. Take a step in SPLASH! the water instantly soaks into my socks it feels like I’m walking through mud in baer feet. I slowly make my way through the puddle my shoes squelching all the while. At the end of the puddle there is a big ladder at the top of the ladder there is light. Sadly the caving is over but at least I won't be walking around in my soaking wet shoes anymore.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

WALT choose words that describe a moment (in an exciting way) for the reader

YOUR SIGNS OF SUCCESS

begins in the action

present tense (I am, not I was)

short, sharp sentences

strong verbs

uses the senses (look, feel, hear, taste, smell)

language features (simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia, metaphor)

show personality (sounds like you, humour, feelings, exaggeration)

I’m about to jump. Should I do it? No, yes, no, ok, I’ll do it. I leap and land on the nearby rock. “That was close I almost slipped” I say to myself. I see Marcus playing on top of a large rock “come look at this”, he yells. I hop from rock to rock to rock. I feel full of beans. I've almost made it but there was no rocks left to jump on. I look around. I can’t find one. I try again, still nothing. I’m about to give up. Suddenly there hidden in the grass I see it a perfect stone I jump at first I thought I wasn't going to make it but then I knew I would I land. “YES!” I yell “I made it." I hop over to Marcus. "I found a little prison" he said. I look down. It was the large rock he was playing on and it was wedged into ground and surrounded by sticks for the bars. I slid through a gap in the sticks and pretend to be trapped. I took a photo. It looks like I was really trapped. Marcus climbs to the top of the rock and starts to go crazy with excitement. Wow I thought That was fun. As we walk back to camp I hope that one day I get to do that again!