The idea being the marines and raptors infiltrate 18", or closer, if possible, with the havocs around 30" away. The Daemon Prince has Speed, so can get to the enemy quickly, as will the angels and cypher in the rhino. The termies deep strike and do their thing. Essentially, I force early hth.

Oh yeah, and yes, I can have 2 squads of raptors, it's part of the Night Lord's special rules. Same thing with stealth adepts for the havocs.

My first reaction is that the list is more typical of Alpha Legion than Night Lords as you have a lot of infiltration, only one squad with Stealth and don't plan to use the Raptors to full effect. Why are you thinking Night Lords?

Major point: You have no antitank capabilities at all except your Prince and Havocs. No powerfists, no squad heavy weapons, no meltaguns on the Raptors. You need more!

You should bring Aspiring Champs in all squads, let alone Havocs and Raptors.

Havocs don't do well with combined weapons, generally. If you already have the models then no problem, just assign the lascannon, heavy bolter and either AC or ML to troop squads. Ultimately, you should angle for either 4 MLs or 4 ACs for them--I do the latter and frequently the enemy will concede that side of the table rather than risk facing them. Also, max out the body count; five Havocs with four heavy weapons is going to die fast.

There's no need for a sorceror to have both a combi-weapon and Doombolt. In fact, I would lose him and just have a squad of 6 Termies. The Daemon Prince could be tooled down a little, but that's just my taste. Speaking of which, if you're going to teleport them for CC then give teleport homers to your CSM squads--they save a lot of grief.

Warp Talisman = Warp Focus? By the way, the homer doesn't work when the Terminators are the ones holding it.

Your general strategy is good and this list is in the right direction. Rely on your aspiring champions for the bulk of your death-dealing in CC. I would consider switching to Alpha Legion and using bikes with meltaguns instead of Raptors. That will give you more antitank with no loss of maneuvering and save a lot of points with which to give reaper autocannons to your Terminators. That would round the list out nicely.

Isn't Cypher an HQ choice? If so you can't really field this unless he has a rule I don't know about. Otherwise ^^ yes, more antitank. I'd also switch to Alpha Legion, unless you are rabidly against Cultists.

I took off the DP's master crafted and extra wound, and gave him the invul save and furious charge. I just killed off the sorceror, and messed around with the terminators' weaponry. I also fixed the homer, thanks for that Intrepid.
The sqauds I gave aspiring champions and just tinkered with them a bit, and the havocs now have 2 ACs and 2 MLs. They also have an aspiring champion.

The Great Weapon is not a good choice. 2x CCW is a better choice. With the FC and Strength, you'll be wounding on 2+ most of the times anyways, so the +1 strength from the GW does you no good, but the +1 attack is far more preferable.

Terminators may not have pairs of L-Claws unless they're Champions and buy them from the Armoury. Far too expensive to do that.

Don't mix and match your Havoc's weaponry. Stick to one weapon. Autocannons are more versatile and better against most Tanks, but Missile Launchers are preferable if you fight a lot of 3+ armour save armies.

Raptor Champions should have Power Weapons and Strength instead of the L-Claws. When paired with the F-Charge, this will allow them to wound on a 2+, matching the effeciency of the L-Claws, but for half the price.

You might consider dropping a single Raptor from both squads to afford two Special Weapons for them. This isn't really necessary, if you think you have enough tank busting power already.

Can't comment much on Cypher and the Angels, since I'm not familiar with the article, but the list looks pretty good with all things being considered. Just a few minor tweaks is all you need.