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A Weekly Paper Published by the Students of the University of Missouri.
VOLUME VI. COLUMBIA, MO., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29, 1899. NUMBER 21
L HERE'S nothing new undei the sun, I suppose, un- -
i Jj!$9 ess lt be the new woman of whom so much is said
now-a-day- s, though it is difficult to see why a woman
ijjjrT' should be any newei now, at the same age, than she
was a hundied years ago. I
don't believe in the new woman ;
she is meiely adapting heiself to
her envhonments: and this gives
one faith in the Biblical account
of the fiist woman, foi she is
evei like the lib from which she
was made bends to suit the
body in which she is placed. In
the cieation of the woild and all
that in it is, the older was fiom
a lowei to a highei ; for example,
aftei the beasts of the field, man
was created, and after man,
woman. (I do not say she has
been after him ever since). So,
woman is the last and ci owning
woik of cieation. The species is
the same, but there aie many
varieties; and, tiuly to use a
time-honor- ed figuie if you
would have hei puir, you must
stioke her the right way.
Much has been said and more
has been thought of this beauti-ful
and engaging subject, which,
like hei own dear self befoie
mairiage, never glows old. I
wish to discuss briefly three of
the many phases: the mothei,
the wife, the sweetheait. Knowl-edge
of the mothei, owing to
a much lamented loss at the age
of thiee oi four yeais, will be
given from a shoit expenence
and long observation ; knowledge
of the wife will be given from
. f - - 1 .- -
'
- v.. ,-:-
-- .
,
- v .
r -r-v-
viv - - k' ' ""' -- i
V", --kv: '
a ciitical obseivation and inter-ested
expectation, and knowledge of the sweetheart will be given
fiom negative experience and positive obsei ition. By positive
obseivation is meant those cases of gallants and sweetheaits act-ually
observed; by negathe experience is meant leal expeuencej
but of a negative chaiacter; that is, the case turned out to be the
othei fellow's. A sweetheart can not propeily be called a fixed
quantity. What she does one day is not a sine index ot what
she will do the next. Hei face and eyes may smile on you one
week and youi hopes aie laised to balloon heights, when a week
latei some handsomei man has ciossed youi patli and youi hopes
take a paiachute jump and aie landed, all mangled and bleeding,
on a baib-wu- e fence. Like the pooi, we have hei always with
us; she is abioad in the land, and it is well oi ill, depending on
the pei sons in question. In somt
cases the effect is to soften an-- o
make more gentle the disposi-tion,
to stimulate to haidei study
and thus piepaie a moie woithy
knight to wait upon a moie
woithv lady; in othei cases,
howevei, the effect is to soften
the biain and cieate an uttei
woithlessness foi anything ex-cept
a 4 'Ducky" oi a "Dicky."
A sweetheart is the light thing
if she be in the light place.
Now, when a young man is
about well, say two yeais
youngei than my next oldei
bi othei, he should have a sweet-heait.
It puts bettei clothes on
his back and a spung in his step ;
it acts as shouldei hi aces to his
body , it polishes his shoes and
increases the height of his collai ;
it adds stiffness to his linen and
smoothness to the hah on his
head, and to that on his uppei
lip, too if any giow theie but
he nevei belongs to a Whiskeis
club. The impiession made on
the public is that his fathei's
capital has been doubled in the
last few weeks, while the simple
tiuth is, the young man has fallen
within the diiect lays of the
benign countenance of some be-witching
female.
Life is too shoit to continue
sweetheait attentions indefinitely.
" Aftei foul oi five years successful
com ting a young man should take unto himself ashaiei in his
joys. We aie sometimes told not to think about matnmony until
oui school days aie oei. We do not wholly agiee with this,
foi we lead m a book one time that choosing a wife was one of the
most impoilant steps in a man's life. We believe it, and wheie
can we find so goodly a numbei and so lemaikable a vaiiety of
young women as at school ' Choose ye this day whom ye will

A Weekly Paper Published by the Students of the University of Missouri.
VOLUME VI. COLUMBIA, MO., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29, 1899. NUMBER 21
L HERE'S nothing new undei the sun, I suppose, un- -
i Jj!$9 ess lt be the new woman of whom so much is said
now-a-day- s, though it is difficult to see why a woman
ijjjrT' should be any newei now, at the same age, than she
was a hundied years ago. I
don't believe in the new woman ;
she is meiely adapting heiself to
her envhonments: and this gives
one faith in the Biblical account
of the fiist woman, foi she is
evei like the lib from which she
was made bends to suit the
body in which she is placed. In
the cieation of the woild and all
that in it is, the older was fiom
a lowei to a highei ; for example,
aftei the beasts of the field, man
was created, and after man,
woman. (I do not say she has
been after him ever since). So,
woman is the last and ci owning
woik of cieation. The species is
the same, but there aie many
varieties; and, tiuly to use a
time-honor- ed figuie if you
would have hei puir, you must
stioke her the right way.
Much has been said and more
has been thought of this beauti-ful
and engaging subject, which,
like hei own dear self befoie
mairiage, never glows old. I
wish to discuss briefly three of
the many phases: the mothei,
the wife, the sweetheait. Knowl-edge
of the mothei, owing to
a much lamented loss at the age
of thiee oi four yeais, will be
given from a shoit expenence
and long observation ; knowledge
of the wife will be given from
. f - - 1 .- -
'
- v.. ,-:-
-- .
,
- v .
r -r-v-
viv - - k' ' ""' -- i
V", --kv: '
a ciitical obseivation and inter-ested
expectation, and knowledge of the sweetheart will be given
fiom negative experience and positive obsei ition. By positive
obseivation is meant those cases of gallants and sweetheaits act-ually
observed; by negathe experience is meant leal expeuencej
but of a negative chaiacter; that is, the case turned out to be the
othei fellow's. A sweetheart can not propeily be called a fixed
quantity. What she does one day is not a sine index ot what
she will do the next. Hei face and eyes may smile on you one
week and youi hopes aie laised to balloon heights, when a week
latei some handsomei man has ciossed youi patli and youi hopes
take a paiachute jump and aie landed, all mangled and bleeding,
on a baib-wu- e fence. Like the pooi, we have hei always with
us; she is abioad in the land, and it is well oi ill, depending on
the pei sons in question. In somt
cases the effect is to soften an-- o
make more gentle the disposi-tion,
to stimulate to haidei study
and thus piepaie a moie woithy
knight to wait upon a moie
woithv lady; in othei cases,
howevei, the effect is to soften
the biain and cieate an uttei
woithlessness foi anything ex-cept
a 4 'Ducky" oi a "Dicky."
A sweetheart is the light thing
if she be in the light place.
Now, when a young man is
about well, say two yeais
youngei than my next oldei
bi othei, he should have a sweet-heait.
It puts bettei clothes on
his back and a spung in his step ;
it acts as shouldei hi aces to his
body , it polishes his shoes and
increases the height of his collai ;
it adds stiffness to his linen and
smoothness to the hah on his
head, and to that on his uppei
lip, too if any giow theie but
he nevei belongs to a Whiskeis
club. The impiession made on
the public is that his fathei's
capital has been doubled in the
last few weeks, while the simple
tiuth is, the young man has fallen
within the diiect lays of the
benign countenance of some be-witching
female.
Life is too shoit to continue
sweetheait attentions indefinitely.
" Aftei foul oi five years successful
com ting a young man should take unto himself ashaiei in his
joys. We aie sometimes told not to think about matnmony until
oui school days aie oei. We do not wholly agiee with this,
foi we lead m a book one time that choosing a wife was one of the
most impoilant steps in a man's life. We believe it, and wheie
can we find so goodly a numbei and so lemaikable a vaiiety of
young women as at school ' Choose ye this day whom ye will