Thursday, May 26, 2016

No Brainer

By Zamboni

Unless Paul Ryan is a total fool — which he may very well be — there's not a single reason for him to endorse Donald Trump.

In fact, we cats recommend that Ryan hand over his Republican National Convention gavel and disassociate himself from the entire operation, ASAP. If he values his future, not to mention his party's, he should tell fellow Wisconsinite Rancid Pieface: Sorry, dude — can't do it.

After all, what possible benefit could he get from jumping on the Trump bandwagon, when he could distinguish himself from the lemmings who are rushing to endorse a disaster? (See "You mean Pocahontas?" if you have any doubt that electing Trump would be like giving a 13-year-old boy the nuclear codes. Or check out Trump's gratuitous attack on the chair of the Republican Governors Association, Susana Martinez.)

By refusing to endorse, Ryan would not just refrain from selling out his principles (such as they are) — he could be honest and say, "You know what? Trump is going to lose us the Senate, and I'm not going to do anything to endanger the House. Because the House will be the last line of defense against President Hillary Clinton."

And with Mitch McConnell relegated back to Minority Leader, Ryan will become the most powerful Republican in Washington — and sitting pretty for 2020.

Yes, we know that breaking from the deluded GOP in 2016 will be painful. But in the long run, we just don't see any downside for Paul Ryan. If he reads this blog, he'll get some good advice. We cats HISS and PURR at the same time.

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Welcome to My Cats Are Democrats, a political blog written entirely by cats.

Why cats? Because the sorry state of human discourse requires the Animal Kingdom to step up and provide a new, refreshing take on current affairs. And cats sit at the very top of that kingdom.

We’re well aware of the popular stereotypes — that “cats are Democrats while dogs are Republicans.” But the cats who write this blog really are Democrats. What animal in its right mind wouldn’t be, after the way Republicans have behaved since Obama was elected?

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Pundit Profiles

Baxter (no relation to the spokescat for Meow Mix) was named after Jack Lemmon's character in "The Apartment." Although Baxter keeps his sexual orientation private, he is an FIV-positive kitty with a keen interest in gay rights.

Guest blogger Miss Kubelik also owes her moniker to that classic Billy Wilder film. As a former outdoor cat, Miss K provides trenchant political commentary from outside the Washington bubble, looking in.

Sniffles' issues are equality for women and climate change, although she seems to think she can escape global warming by hiding under a blanket. If Sniffles doesn’t agree with something you say, she’ll probably pee on you.

Zamboni is a hockey fan (of course). She follows Canadian and American politics, and is a zealous protector of English grammar. Zamboni's favorite things include clean litter boxes and Bush being out of office — two items she considers related.

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