Child And Parents Need Professional Assistance

DEAR ABBY SYNDICATED COLUMNIST

July 6, 2000|DEAR ABBY SYNDICATED COLUMNIST

Dear Abby: I can relate to "Had It in Houston" regarding their neighbor's unruly, undisciplined child.

"Tom," our neighbor's 6-year-old boy, has not only inappropriately touched our children on the school bus, but was caught touching the exposed genitals of a younger neighborhood boy on two occasions. He roams the neighborhood, uses foul language, openly hits his older sister -- and his parents appear totally clueless. For two years they've allowed Tom's behavior to get worse.

We are on the verge of notifying Children's Protective Services, but we don't want to start a "hate thy neighbor" relationship. They are already a bit "chilly" toward us because their son's behavior has forced us to send him home a few times. His parents have said nothing directly to us, but they criticize us to the other neighbors, who are well aware of the problem.

We've considered moving, but why should we go through the expense of leaving a nice area because of this family's ignorance and irresponsibility? Abby, what should we do? -- Frustrated In Forest Park

Dear Frustrated: Call Child Protective Services immediately. Talk to your other neighbors about your plan. There is strength in numbers. The boy needs psychological counseling, and the parents need parenting classes. All adults have a responsibility to save a child who is in trouble. Read on:

Dear Abby: My siblings and I were verbally, emotionally and occasionally physically abused by both of our parents and a stepparent. One of the most critical coping techniques for us was the love and stability provided by other family members, especially our grandparents, who offered us shelter, unconditional love, and bottomless encouragement and support. We were also very fortunate to have teachers, counselors and coaches who believed in us and lifted us up in ways that we can never thank them enough for.

Our survival and our thriving can be attributed to the willingness and kindness of adults who cared enough to help us in ways large and small. To them, we can never fully convey our thanks in words, but we can in deeds -- by becoming normal, productive and kind adults who contribute positively to society. -- Grateful Survivor in Cretna, La.