Little newsy items are like little snacks between the big headline issues. Sometimes they provide ideas for stories… and sometimes they provide stories for articles.

Like much of the rest of the nation from Florida to Maine, kids have been graduating high school. Florida has its embarrassments and bad speeches. Thanks to freedom of the press (if not speech), some receive wider attention than principals would like.

Hernando County, Home of Machiavelli Middle School

Consider these two Spring Hill participants:

Jem Lugo

Senior class president, valedictorian, yearbook editor, 3.98 GPA, accepted at Harvard, recipient of a Barnes Scholarships for young people who have overcome obstacles, excelled academically and set sizable goals.

Susan Duval

Springstead’s anal high school principal, my nominee for the Joe Biden Award. (Apply ‘anal’ in any context you wish.)

Jem Lugo, after reviewing numerous graduation speeches, was struck by their uniformity, down to the same tired jokes. She decided to write a speech that was "real", a speech "worth hearing". Springstead’s administration was "appalled"– that’s the word they used. Here is the heart of her speech:

“

I’m going to remind you of some basic concepts you can actually apply to your life. Crazy, right?

First off, get money. You can’t do anything without money. Do something with your life where you’re able to have a steady, reliable, source of income. Gamers, I’m sorry, but farming for gold in World of Warcraft is not considered a reliable, or socially-acceptable source of income.

Second, after you have your money, be sure to pay your taxes. I hear the IRS can get pretty nasty with tax avoiders.

Also, don’t get arrested. Sure, the jail lifestyle might seem like a luxury nowadays, but in 20 years, when you’re going for that top-notch CEO position, that misdemeanor you got for stealing a street sign with your friends might just come back and bite you in the butt.

Moreover, take some time in your life to stand up for something. Whether it’s a stance for pro-choice, religious debate, vegetarianism, or even something as simple as cleaner bathrooms, just make sure your voice is heard.

You’re making this money for a reason. Use it to have some fun. Go out and party. Use all of your vacation days. Use it to travel. Explore the world. Free yourself from the monotony of the workforce. I promise you, having fun will keep you sane.

Be sure to have that one person or thing that makes you smile whenever you see it. I’m not going to put on an act and tell you you’re future’s going to be peachy. No, life is gonna suck sometimes. Believe me, you’re gonna need that one thing in your life that can always brighten your day, whether it’s a significant other, a dog, a lava lamp, or the blankie you’ve had since you were a baby. Hey, whatever it takes to smile.

A few other basics to remember:

Always say please and thank you; it’s always appreciated.

Wash your hands when you leave the bathroom; you’d be surprised how many people don’t.

Listen to your gut instinct and your conscience. When there’s a choice between the little angel on one side, and the little devil on the other, please listen to the angel.

Respect your elders, because one day, you’ll be old too. Plus, they might leave you something in their will.

Don’t treat Spelling and Grammar check as a god. It definitely misses things.

If you ever achieve any sort of fame or acclaim in your life, don’t mess it up. Think Michael Phelps and Britney Spears.

And if your mother would not approve of your actions, then you probably shouldn’t be doing it.

In Maine, School Superintendent Suzanne Lukas ordered Justin Denney to return to his seat and refused to give him his diploma to graduate. Apparently Lukas got her panties in a wedgie from some seniors tossing a beach ball and a couple of other boys who had to be separated. Justin Denny hadn’t taken part in bad behavior. His crime was blowing a kiss to his mother.

It’s not clear if Suzanne Lukas mistook Denney for someone else then refused to admit her mistake, or if she doesn’t like black folks, but she refused to issue the diploma, denying Justin, his parents, and grandparents the pleasure of seeing their boy graduate. You can see the bad boy’s videos here and here.

My suggestion: Fire Lukas and hire Justin Denney.

You’ll Grow Calluses Doing That

15-year-old Iowa freshman Kate Moore "normally" texts 450 or so messages in a school day, 14,000 some per month. I’m not sure what’s normal about that, but it’s her word, not mine.

In New York City, she parlayed her fleet fingering into winning the LG U.S. National Texting Championship, beating out a quarter of a million other contestants, including stepsisters and 2nd and 3rd place winners, Morgan Dynda, 14, and Erin Fink, 15, both from Pooler, Georgia.

Her family welcomes the $50,000 prize which can help offset their daughter’s phone bill, which must be, like what, $168,000?

Here’s an electrifying story from the UK. Lightning struck 14-year-olds Sophie Frost and her boyfriend, Mason Billington, knocking them out cold and damaging their vision. Oddly, London’s Daily Mail headlines Apple’s wonderful but inanimate iPod as the hero of the story, but I, along with Sophie’s mother, credit Mason.

Mason regained consciousness first. Injured and with damaged vision, he carried the still unconscious Sophie to a road, where he flagged down a passing motorist to take them to the hospital. Fortunately, both are expected to make a full recovery. The photo of Sophie’s clothing is amazing.

16 comments

Both of your suggestions should be acted upon before the coming school year. When searching for lack of common sense, begin with the schools. Some administrators and teachers do a wonderful job. Others, well. . .

Reading this makes me so glad my kids have graduated. It also gives me flashbacks, of unpleasant conversations with school officials. Finally, fed up with the whole thing, I pulled my kids from public school and they graduated from home schooling with a 3.99 and 4.0 GPA.
It was hard work, but well worth it!
Sad thing is, they have to still deal with these “people” anyway. At least, I think I gave them a foundation to fight on…and fight for.

Having been a teacher in public schools for the last decade, I’ve seen more than my share of knuckleheads, both teachers and administrators. As Dick said, many do a good job, their level best. Others …

The young lady in Florida sounds eminently sensible. I wish someone had given this speech to our graduating class this year.

Why are you picking on Joe Biden? I like Joe Biden. He has integrity and his heart is in the right place — and he’s the least likely person on Earth to criticize anyone for making a speech perceived as inappropriate by a bunch of self-appointed mavens.

I don’t think Jem Lugo is quite as innocent as all that, either. She certainly must have known that her speech would be viewed as provocative — at her age and in this culture, I strongly doubt that she’s remotely naive regarding media. It looks to me like she was deliberately poking a stick in the eye of authority. That can be good, of course. But it also can be narcissistic. Leigh, you also like to be provocative, so I’m sure you see in her a fellow traveler, but being provocative for its own sake is itself only another form of arrogance.

Freddie Mercury, forsooth — not a very auspicious role model, I’m thinking, being the man who wanted it all right now, and got it all right, but at the cost of his life through the horror of AIDS.

I suspect Jem Lugo used Freddie ironically. Some of us (James and I, at least) have discussed before how pivotal principals and teachers– good and bad– are in developing youth. The good ones are wonderful and the sadistic ones should never be allowed around children.

I received a private comment from a reader regarding bad school officials: “Who made them God anyway? Nice piece, pissed me off a bit, but nice piece.”

Years after the fact, the bad ones continue to haunt some of us, but we can take comfort in that the good ones kept us (relatively) sane.

Why are you picking on Joe Biden? I like Joe Biden. He has integrity and his heart is in the right place —

because HE needs a teleprompter too? And someone to read over his speeches lest they be someone else’s? Oh geez, I could write a book on this subject but alas…I fear since Melodie has left I’d be alone trying to ‘splain it all.

Jem was being provocative in an age appropriate manner. I would have told her to go for it were I the administrator or her mom.

At least she chose Freddie Mercury instead of Twisted Sister or Nine Inch Nails to prod at authority and the way I read it was two fold—-he had to get “out” and yes, while he died a horrible death by AIDS, it wasn’t like he didn’t know…and her reference was get out, but remember the consequences—he basically killed his talent. This was built within her speech and therefore the Mercury reference was the overall theme.

She was speaking with a kids heart and direction, which we often forget “we” had. She is idealistic. She doesn’t have a clue what the real world holds, nor what Freddie Mercury truly went through.

I like your article, especially the one about the lightning strike. Did the ipod attract the lightning? According to the Daily Mail’s report, the wire in the ipod directed the lightning away from the girl. Hey, something, like a wire, had to attract it. One more reason for me not to buy an ipod or any type of cell phone.

It doesn’t matter to me whether or not anybody else likes the Vice President, but fair is fair. If anybody objects to him, at least do so for his politics and not because of the old accusations of plagiarism.

Biden has been accused of plagiarism twice: once in law school, and once during his presidential campaign in 1987. The former incident was used as “evidence” supporting the verity of latter accusation. Both have been discredited.

The law school incident involved a paper he wrote in which he failed to correctly cite source material quoted in it. Although he was originally given an “F”, after an ethics inquiry, he was allowed to repeat the course. In 1987, the Delaware Supreme Court’s Board of Professional Responsibility cleared him of of all accusations regarding this so-called plagiarism. That is a fact.

During the ’87-’88 campaign, Biden frequently used a phrase originally coined by British politician Neil Kinnock in his stump speech, regarding being the first in his family to earn a college education. Most of the times he delivered the speech, he credited the quote to Kinnock — but failed to do so subsequently twice, once in a speech in September 1987 in Iowa and again during a debate. That was the source of the second plagiarism accusation. It was widely reported in the papers and sounded the death knell of his campaign. It later became known, although it wasn’t widely reported, that the accusation came to light through the Dukakis campaign’s effort to discredit Biden — who at the time was the best-funded of the three major Democratic candidates.

The point is that Biden had previously and frequently credited the comment to its original source in public. His failure to do so subsequently does not transform his use of it into plagiarism.

Politicians frequently use each others’ words without attribution. John F. Kennedy famously said, “Ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.” The sentiment was just as powerful when it was uttered by Cicero. Who, by the way, borrowed it from Juvenal.

As far as Jem Lugo is concerned, I wish her well. She is obviously a very capable young lady — and that is one reason why I’m not convinced that she’s as ingenuous as she has been portrayed. I do, however, support her right to say whatever the hell she wants. We can certainly all agree that the actions of Principal Susan Duval regarding Lugo’s speech were flat out wrong.

Well, NIN Leigh my friend, are very suggestive to doom, gloom and suicidal thoughts to provoke a listener.

I don’t mind adults listening to them (you are one of those, yes?) but I sure didn’t like my teenagers listening to them without knowing what they were saying.

They are of the “I don’t listen to the words, I listen to the music”—which never passes muster with the momma at my house. I am a word person. I listen to every word being sung. Well, depending on whether I could understand they were speaking an understandable language!

Leigh, I salute you for your discerning eye for spotting these ‘stories’ buried deep inside the ‘news.’

It’s been my belief that ‘news’ is made by ‘people,’ by which term I personally include humans of tender years. So I look forward to seeing Jem in the news doing something positive (following her own admirable suggestion) with her obviously developing voice. The world, being pretty much on its head lately, could use many more voices like hers. Go Jem.

Re: Principal Duval…could be yet another of (sadly) trillions of examples of a little power being given to a little person…

JLW–always brilliant! What do they call it in baseball–cleanup batter? (Yes, ok, not into baseball.)

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