Real reveal Ronaldo D-Day

So it will be Germany - again - in the final of the European Championships after they 'did a Turkey' on Turkey and scored a magnificent winner in the dying minutes of last night's semi-final.

It was cruel on the Turks who, with barely 11 fit or eligible players, put on a bravura display of passing football and deserved at least the extra-time another late equaliser seemed to have given them.

But the Germans stole their way in to the final - Philipp Lahm, the scorer of the winner, handing sub-editors the length and breadth of the country more than enough food for thought.

The Sun tell us that 'Lahm kebabs 'em!', the Mail has 'not Turkey but Lahm!' on the menu, whilst, depending on whether you read your paper from the front or the back, the Star have either 'Lahm chop' or 'Turkey stuffed.'

Guus Hiddink, whose exciting Russia team take on Spain tonight for the right to beat Germany in the final, has been speaking about his side's journey so far. Which involved stepping over the moribund remains of Steve McClaren's England along the way, of course.

The Star and the Express both head up their coverage of the Dutchman's press conference with messages of thanks to England from Hiddink, who, they would have us believe, goes to bed each night thanking his lucky stars that England are so bad.

"If England had not lost to Croatia, we would not be here," said Hiddink. "Fortunately it did not happen and we qualified.

"If we hadn't , we should still have gone on improving the infrastructure. I don't get carried away by today's success. It shows you that football is decided on details."

Yeah, like the minor detail of employing a manager who knows what he is doing.

Away from the thrills and spills of Euro 2008, however, there are transfers to be touted and come and get me pleas to be delivered and answered back home.

Peter Crouch's Mr 10 per cent has clearly been busy this week, with no fewer than three fresh Premier League teams reported to be interested in the lanky Liverpool reserve, to add to Portsmouth, the only team yet to make a bid. And see it rejected.

The Daily Mail suggest that Juande Ramos will enter the bidding for Crouch. And he won't stop there. Wheeling his trolley around the Liverpool end of season sale, the Spaniard is likely to pick up one Yossi Benayoun at the same time as Crouch and expect a discount for bulk buying to bring the bill down to a manageable £15 million.

Though there might be a flaw in the Mail's reasoning here. See if you can spot it: "Still fearful he may lose Dimitar Berbatov before the start of next season, the Tottenham manager has earmarked Crouch as a ready made replacement..." Really?

Though it might not be as fanciful as it sounds. Because a short way down the Seven Sisters Road, Arsene Wenger, too, is on the look out for a replacement for a soon-to-depart striker and reckons Crouch's wiry frame is just the ticket. Or so say the Mirror, anyway.

Emmanuel Adebayor is "70-80 per cent" certain to be joining AC Milan, according to super-agent Vincenzo Morabito, and Wenger thinks Crouch can fill the breach.

All of which must be good for Crouch's ego, until you read on to discover that Roque Santa Cruz and goal-shy German Euro 2008 misfit Mario Gomez are also on the list.

However, the Guardian tells us that Portsmouth - and by implication Arsenal and Tottenham - will face competition from Mark Hughes and Manchester City. And that Liverpool are ready to budge on their asking price of £15 million.

For the same money, new Chelsea manager Luiz Felipe Scolari reckons he can pick himself up a former world player of the year and fellow World Cup winner. But don't get too excited Chelsea fans, he means big-boned Barcelona miscreant Ronaldinho.

The man formerly known as 'Big Phil', the Sun say, has been on the blower to Ronaldinho and the party loving entertainer assured his former international manager that he will be fully fit for the start of next season.

Barcelona want £25 million for him so they can use the cash to buy Andrei Arshavin, but Scolari reckons the £15 million should do it.

Another job on Scolari's to do list is a meeting with Steve Sidwell to help the former Reading midfielder decide if he should join Aston Villa.

I wonder how that one's going to turn out, eh?

Elsewhere, Cristiano Ronaldo's tilt at world domination took another confident stride today with pictures of him and his model girlfriend splashed across front and middle pages of all the tabloids.

The Portuguese tease can be seen on a beach enjoying himself on holiday with his Spanish squeeze, Nereida Gallardo. And though you might think that they are just gratuitous shots of the bare flesh of a couple of pretty young things in their prime, you would be wrong. Well, sort of.

That's because the significant point is that Ronaldo is on his holidays - instead of back in Manchester to have some necessary surgery. The Sun informs us that Ronaldo phoned United to tell them of his plans, and that he will be back in Manchester for pre-season training. Rather than joining Real Madrid.

In other Ronaldo news, the Star are building up to a heavyweight clash between officials from the two clubs at a European Club Association meeting in Switzerland. In the red corner United chief executive Davis Gill, in the white corner Real Madrid President Ramon Calderon.

And if United need any back up, they can turn to Bayern Munich, where Karl-Heinz Rummenigge has branded the whole sorry saga as "dangerous" for football and backed Alex Ferguson's right to say no, according to the Express.

And finally, Ronaldo's beach snaps aren't the only football related holiday pictures doing the rounds today. Ronaldo's team-mate Wayne Rooney is on his honeymoon with his young bride Colleen.

Open a copy of the Mirror today and, if your eyes aren't blinded by the reflected light off the England striker's alabaster white torso, you will be able to see the professional athlete grabbing a quick wheeze on a cigarette whilst he cools off in the pool.

Feel free to raise a disapproving eyebrow, shake your head and tut as you do.

In other news

- Tottenham are willing to offer Blackburn £6 million plus one partly used Aaron Lennon in exchange for a shinny new David Bentley. (Express)

- Wigan are close to signing South American Footballer of the Year Salvador Cabanas, 27, from Mexican side Club America. (Star)

Yesterday's result

European Championships (semi-final):

Germany 3 Turkey 2

Tonight's fixture

European Championships (semi-final):

Russia v Spain (19.45)

Quote of the day

- Bayern Munich's Karl-Heinze Rummenigge supports Sir Alex Ferguson's attempts not to be bullied by Real Madrid over Cristiano Ronaldo: "Luckily people can still say no. No is a very good word. In fact, it is one of my favourites."