Have you looked into squatting when you need to go? I'm not coordinated enough to balance Ina squat on a toilet so I ended up shelling out for a "Squatty Potty" (it's a stool that kinda surrounds the toilet). Everything is in better alignment so there's a lot less pressure. it's helped a whole lot for me. My only other suggestion is if you need some humor, reading MODG blog posts on it. She always cracks me up. best of luck.