Everyone's Really Gay, and Tony Didn't Know It

Summary:

It's just a short story where everyone reveals they're plenty shades of not-straight

Work Text:

"So, who's this Sam character, Captain?" Tony asked, tactfully and during their team-building lunch. He asked into his coffee mug, eyes on Steve with eyebrows raised to the max. Thor, too, seemed interested in the topic, because he stuffed the rest of his poptart into his mouth so he could interject.

"Lady Natasha has mentioned this Son of Wil as well," Thor said, "When shall we meet this fierce warrior?" Steve cracked an amused smile at Thor's typical enthusiasm, and at the frosting bits in his beard. Natasha handed him a napkin discretely with a wink, earning a boisterous 'thank you' from the Asgardian.

"He's a friend, and he's free this Saturday," Steve answered, "Well, actually, he's my boyfriend and Natasha's friend." He picked up a piece of toast to take a large, victorious bite while Tony choked loudly in front of him.

"Congratulations, maybe I won't have to hear about your virgin ass from this mess over here," Clint said, pointing a thumb at Tony. "I had to turn my hearing aids off just to get him to stop his daily 'Captain America needs to get laid, for the country' rant."

"You're gay?" Tony asked, "How did I miss this?" Bruce took the coffee mug from the counter, having the foresight to pour the coffee in the sink before Tony took a drink before choking again.

"It's when someone is attracted to two or more genders," Natasha answered, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Or you could identify as Pansexual which is an attraction to all genders, both tend to overlap at that point."

Thor nodded, "I believe I am pansexual as you say. Would that have anything to do with this creature, Pan-"

"No, it doesn't. But good for you, man, being all sexually awesome," Clint said, giving Thor a loud high-five.

"And to you as well!" Thor turned to Bruce, hand raised expectantly. "And to Doctor Banner for being non-sexually awesome!" Bruce grinned, shaking his head, before returning the gesture.

"I guess that leaves us demis to high-five," Natasha said, going for a two-handed high-five with Clint.