False wrote:My side of the family are in the process of breaking up, moving away and dying. My gfs side dont speak English.

I think if we ever had a wedding it would be a wild ride.

You’ve been back to her family’s in Poland, right? Any idea what to expect from a Polish wedding? We’re off to one next month where we’ll be the only non-Polish speaking people there, so looking forward to getting targeted with the table vodka or something.

Been there quite a few times.

My girlfriend says of Polish weddings that they are a two day affair where the custom is everyone drinks and eats as much as they please. Its very much on the hosts to ensure every guest is satisfied and plied with goodies.

She is shouting at me now to get ready and make sure you bring some money in a card as a gift as that is the custom. Apparently if its traditional it will be full of games where you have to dance with the bride or whatever. And the bar should all be paid for.

In my personal experience most Polish people Ive encountered have at least a fundamental grasp of English and they always seem to make an effort to be welcoming and get you involved. Friendliness almost bordering on the manic is something I have had a few times.

KingK wrote:I'm sorry but those of you who choose not to speak with members of your own family don't deserve happiness. Sort yourselves out. You don't know how lucky you are to have a family.

I grew up an only child due to my father dying from cancer a couple of months before, yes before, I was born. My mum has no siblings and my late father's brother lived in Australia. I grew up an only child in a single parent family through no fault of anyone. I yearned for a brother or sister for many years but my mum never met anyone else and it never happened.

I'm now married for over 10 yrs and a father of 2 Boys. My mum is still alive and I speak to her every day. Sure, she annoys me sometime but she's my mum and I'll love her and be there for her until her end. She's in her eighties now.

Embrace your family. No matter what.

If somebody physically, psychologically, emotionally and financially abuses me, then they can get strawberry floated, whether they happen to share my DNA or not. I'm sorry about your dad, but strawberry float off.

I remember that time my dad drunkenly tried to put his hand down my pants a few months before he died (yes really). If only you'd posted this sooner, I could have taken him on holiday or something. Same with my thieving selfish banana split of a sister, might buy her some flowers tomorrow.

I have always got on well with my family, my mum and dad are cool, my brother is ok and everyone else is nice enough. I totally understand that not everyone is that lucky though and that people don’t want to spend time with arseholes just because they are related.

Sorry for what happened to you dude but embracing someone no matter what is very bad advice, it doesnt matter who they are, if they are a banana split and youre better off without them then you shouldnt embrace them.

My mums side of the family is mostly great, unfortunately my mum is no longer with us but she was awesome. My dad is great but his side of the family is large ( he was one of 8 pretty much all of which had 3 kids) and some of them are not so great in many ways, some are just absolute druggies, others have actual connections to pretty serious organized crime, so both me and my dad keep away from them completely. One of my brothers is annoying but OK and I tolerate him, the other essentially has run his life so deep in to the ground, its unrepairable and any time you try to help him it drags you down with it so I just don't bother anymore, as a result of trying to help him in the past, I have lost a fair bit of money, and been threatened with extreme violence such as being set on fire etc

Its sad if you cant have a relationship with family yes, but if they make it so having that relationship would be detrimental to your physical or mental health then you have to put yourself first sometimes even if that means writing them out of your life.

Fortunately my fiancees family are old and extremely nice and chill, there lovely.

I can see where KingK is coming from, not everyone has horrible experiences like some of those others posted in the thread. I think KingK was more refering to families that tear themselves apart over money/drama etc

Anyways, on the subject of family, I didn't quite realise how lucky I was until I met my current girlfriend. Her father is a strict Muslim who often prioritises his own beliefs over her happiness and her mother is like one of those dark sitcom mothers who puts down their child at every given opportunity and only contacts them when they need a favour.

I feel sorry for people who are unfortunate enough to have parents that don't put their child's happiness first.

My dad had an affair with a woman when I was 7, and then moved to America to be with her. His family didn't really bother with us except his mother who told us they were married a few weeks after his divorce to my mum. I slowly lost contact with his mother. None of the rest of his family bothered with us whatsoever, they completely cut us off.

Dad tries to contact me now and again, but he made a load of promises to me and my brother (who was 1 when all of this happened) and I just can't be bothered any more. Mum's side of the family are a godsend.

So KingK not everyone can embrace their families. And as others have said, I'm sorry your dad died. But please, don't try to fit yourself into everyones situations, you have no idea what's going on behind closed doors.

KingK wrote:I'm sorry but those of you who choose not to speak with members of your own family don't deserve happiness. Sort yourselves out. You don't know how lucky you are to have a family.

I grew up an only child due to my father dying from cancer a couple of months before, yes before, I was born. My mum has no siblings and my late father's brother lived in Australia. I grew up an only child in a single parent family through no fault of anyone. I yearned for a brother or sister for many years but my mum never met anyone else and it never happened.

I'm now married for over 10 yrs and a father of 2 Boys. My mum is still alive and I speak to her every day. Sure, she annoys me sometime but she's my mum and I'll love her and be there for her until her end. She's in her eighties now.

Embrace your family. No matter what.

Holy strawberry float dude.

Like, I get on with my family but some people really don't for absolutely valid reasons.

I get that you had it rough but Jesus strawberry float man, your experiences are not universal and cutting out people who are toxic to your mental health and is entirely valid is absolutely 100% OK.

KingK wrote:I'm sorry but those of you who choose not to speak with members of your own family don't deserve happiness. Sort yourselves out. You don't know how lucky you are to have a family.

I grew up an only child due to my father dying from cancer a couple of months before, yes before, I was born. My mum has no siblings and my late father's brother lived in Australia. I grew up an only child in a single parent family through no fault of anyone. I yearned for a brother or sister for many years but my mum never met anyone else and it never happened.

I'm now married for over 10 yrs and a father of 2 Boys. My mum is still alive and I speak to her every day. Sure, she annoys me sometime but she's my mum and I'll love her and be there for her until her end. She's in her eighties now.

Embrace your family. No matter what.

I don't speak to my half sister and I never will. If I ever see my nephew again, well, I don't know what I'd do to be honest. But it won't be good.

Family who are abusive, manipulative and just down right terrible people can get to strawberry float. I've no time for them and I'm happy to be shut of them.

False wrote:My side of the family are in the process of breaking up, moving away and dying. My gfs side dont speak English.

I think if we ever had a wedding it would be a wild ride.

You’ve been back to her family’s in Poland, right? Any idea what to expect from a Polish wedding? We’re off to one next month where we’ll be the only non-Polish speaking people there, so looking forward to getting targeted with the table vodka or something.

Been there quite a few times.

My girlfriend says of Polish weddings that they are a two day affair where the custom is everyone drinks and eats as much as they please. Its very much on the hosts to ensure every guest is satisfied and plied with goodies.

She is shouting at me now to get ready and make sure you bring some money in a card as a gift as that is the custom. Apparently if its traditional it will be full of games where you have to dance with the bride or whatever. And the bar should all be paid for.

In my personal experience most Polish people Ive encountered have at least a fundamental grasp of English and they always seem to make an effort to be welcoming and get you involved. Friendliness almost bordering on the manic is something I have had a few times.

Yeah, that’s kind of what I’d heard in terms of the two day affair and paid for bar. Thanks for the money in the card tip!

KingK wrote:I'm sorry but those of you who choose not to speak with members of your own family don't deserve happiness. Sort yourselves out. You don't know how lucky you are to have a family.

I grew up an only child due to my father dying from cancer a couple of months before, yes before, I was born. My mum has no siblings and my late father's brother lived in Australia. I grew up an only child in a single parent family through no fault of anyone. I yearned for a brother or sister for many years but my mum never met anyone else and it never happened.

I'm now married for over 10 yrs and a father of 2 Boys. My mum is still alive and I speak to her every day. Sure, she annoys me sometime but she's my mum and I'll love her and be there for her until her end. She's in her eighties now.

Embrace your family. No matter what.

I'm genuinely sorry about your dad - no child should have to grow up alone and God knows I'm lucky I had my brother as a kid. I'm glad you have a good relationship with your mum and your kids, and I agree family is an important thing. Contrary to what you seem to think it's not an easy decision to cut a parent out of your life.

I don't really like talking about personal gooseberry fool on here but I'll give you a sanitised run through of some greatest hits, to try and help you understand what kind of choice some of us have to make. Spoilered, so that no-one has to read it if they don't want.

My dad mentally abused my mum. He's lied to my face on several occasions, about a whole range of things from petty to extremely important. I asked him not to lie to me again, and asked him to get treatment for whatever problems he was going through - he told me he was going to see a psychiatrist, gave me weekly treatment reports etc. Turns out they never happened, he might not even have gone once. That was the last straw.

He had multiple affairs. On my brother's first day of high school, he was caught seeing another woman, the same woman he missed my sixteenth birthday to be with. On the day I received my MSc, he asked not to attend in order to see a different other woman(under the guise of a work event), and only did show up - late - when my mum essentially ordered him to be there. He was caught by that woman's husband on the morning of the graduation and nearly beaten up, as I recall we found out.

The poor guy came to my mum's house the next day to tell her what was happening pretty much in tears. I once watched one of the women he messed around turn up at a family dinner and punch him in the face because he'd lied to her as much as he did to us. There's a running joke between me and my brother that we'll probably get a knock on the door one day from a half sibling located anywhere between Glasgow and Blackburn.

He manipulated a lot of my mum's friends away from her, so me and my brother are really her only support network, and have been since I was 14 and he was 9. I've had to watch her depression eat her alive for 14 years - half of my life. My dad has offered no support, no encouragement. He has made little effort to contact me since I changed my name beyond a token text about Blackburn once or twice a year, and a Christmas card which he puts through my mum's door for no other reason than to remind her that he's still nearby, living in the house that she was brought up in, less than two miles away.

And do you know the worst part is that I would certainly have some form of relationship with him, if I ever received any kind of inkling that he cared about something besides himself for a second. But I never have.

I love my mum, and I love my brother. They're my family, and they're the two people I'm closest to in the world outside of my partner and Loki. That will never change. But I was absolutely right to cut my dad out of my life for my continuing mental health and it's not your right to tell me that I don't deserve happiness for prioritising my own health over somebody else's manipulations.

False wrote:My side of the family are in the process of breaking up, moving away and dying. My gfs side dont speak English.

I think if we ever had a wedding it would be a wild ride.

You’ve been back to her family’s in Poland, right? Any idea what to expect from a Polish wedding? We’re off to one next month where we’ll be the only non-Polish speaking people there, so looking forward to getting targeted with the table vodka or something.

Been there quite a few times.

My girlfriend says of Polish weddings that they are a two day affair where the custom is everyone drinks and eats as much as they please. Its very much on the hosts to ensure every guest is satisfied and plied with goodies.

She is shouting at me now to get ready and make sure you bring some money in a card as a gift as that is the custom. Apparently if its traditional it will be full of games where you have to dance with the bride or whatever. And the bar should all be paid for.

In my personal experience most Polish people Ive encountered have at least a fundamental grasp of English and they always seem to make an effort to be welcoming and get you involved. Friendliness almost bordering on the manic is something I have had a few times.

A bloke in my team's brother got married to a Polish woman a few months back. He went over to her small village for the wedding and said everyone was amazing, but he came back absolutely ruined off the unbelievable amounts of free booze.