10 month old throwing a fit!

Jessie - posted on 08/23/2009
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My son is 10 months old and just recently starting throwing HUGE fits everytime I change his clothes, diaper, or even take something away that he can't have. I know its normal for kids to get upset when they don't get what they want, but when he first threw one of these tantrums he was so mad I thought I might have hurt him..come to realize my babysitter said it happened to her 4 times that day..Any suggestions on what to do? I try to ignore him but its so hard!! help!

Concerning the poster who suggested NOT giving a replacement toy and to put a child in his room when he throws a fit...we're talking about TEN MONTH old babies. These children are just learning to really explore their surroundings, are developing their sense of self, but are not able to control their impulses or control their big emotions. We're not here as mothers to set up an adversarial relationship but to be the protectors of our children. And that encompasses helping a baby through the very stressing big emotions that he suffers when he's in a situation he doesn't like. He's not needing punishment but help through the stress.

We need to show our chilren the same respect we would want. I can tell you if I were to abandon my ten month old to solitary confinement rather than comforting her because she displayed some big emotions that she would be incredibly shaken from the experience. That is not my goal as a mother.

Thank you Lisa, that was very well said.

Jenifer, we aren't talking about 2 y.o.'s or 3 y.o's here, we are talking about Babies around the age of 9 => 12 mths who are discovering their new found emotions. You can't "punish" them for expressing themselves. How awful for your Children if you DO do that. It's all part and parcel of them developing their personalities and "who" they are and will be as Adults.

Sheeshhh, I'm not surprised that you have the best, well behaved Children on the Planet, they're probably too sh!t scared to be otherwise..

all i can say is boys will be boys i have 3 boys 2 girls and can say its just their make up you know the old saying women are for venus and men are from mars.and we do not see this until we become mums.we used a dance monkey dance tune when this happens.our youngest has a strwberry birth mark on his head when he gets mad and throws a fit it pluses its hard not to laugh because he throws the fit with such passion hope that help feel free to ask more

Well, I know what things will set my daughter off to start with. It's perfectly understandable that she would get very angry and possibly throw herself backwards if I were to take something out of her hand. If this is the case I make sure to use soothing words to explain why I'm taking it from her, and to always have something interesting to replace it with.

Changing clothes, I go as fast as I can, and give her something to hold to distract her with. We minimize use of diapers since she's not in one most of the day. When we're out if she needs one, I put one on her while she's on my hip or standing in my lap. It's quite understandable to resist being placed on your back- it's a very vulnerable position.

And to soothe those tears, nothing works better than a boobie :).

Concerning the poster who suggested NOT giving a replacement toy and to put a child in his room when he throws a fit...we're talking about TEN MONTH old babies. These children are just learning to really explore their surroundings, are developing their sense of self, but are not able to control their impulses or control their big emotions. We're not here as mothers to set up an adversarial relationship but to be the protectors of our children. And that encompasses helping a baby through the very stressing big emotions that he suffers when he's in a situation he doesn't like. He's not needing punishment but help through the stress.

We need to show our chilren the same respect we would want. I can tell you if I were to abandon my ten month old to solitary confinement rather than comforting her because she displayed some big emotions that she would be incredibly shaken from the experience. That is not my goal as a mother.

My baby doesn't throw fits while being changed, but she doesn't want to lay there long enough for me to change her either.. so I do the same.. I let her hold the diaper until I get ready for it and I am sure to tell her Thank You to help get her into that habit. Even when I tell her 'No', it's 'No Ma'am' so she'll learn manners :)

Oh please i am always being told what a good mother i am when i go anywhere and how well behaved my children are .A ten month old child is not stupid stop treating them as though they are that is why so many children have there parents wrapped around there little fingers .I have grate kids I am proud of them and myself as there mother . Spear the rod spoil the child anyone know that one .

I don't think anyone was implying that you weren't a good mother or that your children weren't well behaved. Everyone has been offering their solutions to this mom's problem. No one is treating their children as stupid. Redirection is a valid means of adjusting behavior not only in younger children but also in older children. As is the time out suggestion that you offered earlier. Some kids need down time by themselves to get them out of a fit. Others need to be shown how to redirect themselves. Everyone has different ways of handling problems that their little ones pose. As a mother of three, you can relate to the fact that some things work for one child that do not work for the other.

Oh please i am always being told what a good mother i am when i go anywhere and how well behaved my children are .A ten month old child is not stupid stop treating them as though they are that is why so many children have there parents wrapped around there little fingers .I have grate kids I am proud of them and myself as there mother . Spear the rod spoil the child anyone know that one .

Well, I know what things will set my daughter off to start with. It's perfectly understandable that she would get very angry and possibly throw herself backwards if I were to take something out of her hand. If this is the case I make sure to use soothing words to explain why I'm taking it from her, and to always have something interesting to replace it with.

Changing clothes, I go as fast as I can, and give her something to hold to distract her with. We minimize use of diapers since she's not in one most of the day. When we're out if she needs one, I put one on her while she's on my hip or standing in my lap. It's quite understandable to resist being placed on your back- it's a very vulnerable position.

And to soothe those tears, nothing works better than a boobie :).

Concerning the poster who suggested NOT giving a replacement toy and to put a child in his room when he throws a fit...we're talking about TEN MONTH old babies. These children are just learning to really explore their surroundings, are developing their sense of self, but are not able to control their impulses or control their big emotions. We're not here as mothers to set up an adversarial relationship but to be the protectors of our children. And that encompasses helping a baby through the very stressing big emotions that he suffers when he's in a situation he doesn't like. He's not needing punishment but help through the stress.

We need to show our chilren the same respect we would want. I can tell you if I were to abandon my ten month old to solitary confinement rather than comforting her because she displayed some big emotions that she would be incredibly shaken from the experience. That is not my goal as a mother.

ok no offence to the mums saying to give your kid other toys and things i think this is just giving in to them .We have 3 children 3 years and under they are all very good kids not to sound up myself . If any of our children throw a fit we put them to bed till they calm down that way they learn they can't always get what they want and will get over this stage alot sooner then if you cater to them .Shut the door if you need to they are safe in bed . My youngest doesnt like his nappy being changed but we don't run around after him we simply make him lay there then when we are done we pick him up and say good boy then let him go play works very well .

If your son is standing at all, you might be able to change him standing up. When my older child started getting worked up about diaper changes, I changed her perspective and stood her up. Worked like a charm until she started running away from me naked! Luckily Aaron, my 10 month old, is fairly even tempered at diaper changes. I just give him the new diaper to hold and he is happy. He even likes to hand it to me when I'm ready. But, he throws his share of fits when he is told no. He starts crying and plants his head on the ground. Every once in a while he looks up to make sure we are watching. We make sure that we are not watching, and in a while he stops. Zojoho is right . . . it just gets more difficult as they get older. You can easily distract a 10 month old and their memories are just not that long. But my four year old . . . she can actually hold a grudge for a while! You want to talk about mood swings! lol. Good luck. This too shall pass . . . and turn into something new, for sure, but it will always be an adventure! ;-)

My 10 month old twins can work up a good tantrum at times too. I ignore it and go start to play with something interesting and they usually follow over and forget about what sparked the tantrum. The changing one is tough. I haven't figured that one out myself.

My little guy does the EXACT same thing..in the EXACT same situations. It seems to have gotten a little better (he doesn't do it every time anymore, but NOT because of anything I've done). I've been told that a lot of babies do this at this age. They are becoming more independent but often don't have the means to communicate. Some suggest that baby sign language can help ease some of the frustration they feel...I'm interested to see other suggestions because I've been wondering about it myself!)