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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

I make no bones about my bid for Wrecky World Domination, and I think you'll all agree that Cake Wrecks is an excellent model for government. [insert joke about Wrecky administrations here]

Anyway, I can tell my evil plan is working, in part, by the number of Carrot Jockeys successfully infiltrating society at large. Here are just a few of the NMBCJ sitings I've had reported:

Here they are flying/gallivanting in classic carrot formation through Mallory H.'s home...

Spreading spelling errors in Ann S.'s...

Terrorizing Jennifer and Krista in their "stealth CCC" mode...

Circling up for a little Jockey powwow over at Maggie H.'s...

And even easing the pain of "workforce reduction" over at Ryan J.'s.*

You know how ELSE I can tell my bid for Wrecky World Domination is working? By winning all three Bloggies Cake Wrecks was nominated for at the Ninth Annual Weblog Awards on Monday. That's right, my loyal wrecky henchpersons, thanks to you Cake Wrecks is "officially" the Best New Blog, Best Writing of a Blog, and Best Food Blog** of 2008. Woot woot!

Next stop: Disneyland. That's right; I shall not rest until I've ridden the Matterhorn enough times to make myself physically ill. And that, my friends, is a campaign promise. [nodding seriously]

*In case you're wondering what that is, Ryan explains "We had trouble finding anything like the babies from the infamous cake screw-up, so we used a rubber fetus we had laying around. Don't ask me why we have a rubber fetus hanging around." Roger on that, Ryan; I won't ask.

** As sweet as victory is, the fact is I've never considered CW a "Food Blog", and feel undeserving each time an award site places it in that category. So allow me to to give a shout-out to the other, more appropriate, nominees in that category. If you like to cook, or even to just read about people who do, check them out:

I hate all these cakes so. much. Except, guess what? The CCC is actually the least nasty to me this time around; the person looks more like a skeleton, and somehow a skeleton riding a carrot is less disturbing than a naked baby riding a carrot.

Love the carrot jockeys! It's always been a favorite of mine. However, I am disturbed by the CCC, not only because it is a CCC, but the baby is terrifying! WTH? However, I do applaud the ingenuity of both the CCC and the rubber fetus since they couldn't find any naked mohawk babies. It's the thought that counts.wv: rellyze I didn't "rellyze" the last one was a rubber fetus at first.

Normally I might be amused by the laid off cake, except I was just downsized. Now it's just sad I didn't get a cake. And I don't know who first created the baby-riding-on-a-carrot-theme, but it's equally funny and disturbing to look at.

You know I've got all this leftover fondant and gum paste from my Wilton classes...I'm never going to use the fondant because it's the nastiest thing in the world next to chile rellenos sprouting man parts.I think I'll try making some NMBCJ's out of it and decorating a cake with them. Why the heck not.

As one of my favorite wrecks ever, how could I not love all these wanna-be NMBCJs?! But honestly, that CCC? Best. Wreck. EVER. Do you suppose it really was for a girl named Jenn, or that it was an homage to you, purposely spelled incorrectly?!

um.....is this business of putting babies on carrots something particularly American? We don't have anything QUITE like them in England. In fact, we don't have ANYTHING like them. I'm confused. Elucidation please.

Is that a prescription bottle in the upper left hand corner of the first photo? Do you need drugs to wreckerate a cake? The garbage left lying around the cake is distracting. Hope next time they clear the clutter before trying to showcase their billiant talent.

When you look at the Birfday cake do you see Happy 4Dth, not 40th?

Jen, "Congradulations" on the three awards!!! Love reading your blog - what a wonderful way to start my day!

I've been in a Catholic church which has those little rubber fetuses out in the vestibule to take as a reminder about the sacredness of life and how we must all fight against the murder that is abortion. They come with a little note card. I picked one up to see if I could use it as an eraser.

Congrats on the awards!Oh man, this is so whiny, but I'm a little sad my NMBCJ/poison birthday cake is not here with its brethren. On the other hand, that CCC NMBCJ is completely priceless.Wreckers are everywhere! :D

very creative.Fred Smilek is the acting president of the Society to Save Endangered Species. It was founded two years ago by Fred Smilek along with his two best friends Charles and Jonathan. http://www.fredjsmilek.com