Ink Out Loud: Get out of my face and get into a conversation

"Is it a tough class?" I asked my daughter. "I don't know yet," she said. "The professor keeps pushing his political opinions on us. Even though I mostly agree with his views, he gets mad at anyone who voices a contrary opinion. Besides, this is a business class and I'm not learning what I signed up for," she said, exasperated.

People who cram their politics down others' throats are actually detrimental to their causes.

Civility and rationality are largely tossed aside in the throes of a political season.

Some people make attempts at jabs and puns. But those usually fall short.

It is my opinion that most people on the street cannot rival the humor of Saturday Night Live or other parody programming that is carefully crafted by professional writers.

An average person's unrelenting tirade typically becomes tiresome and irrelevant.

It is certainly the right of voters in the United States to engage in angry activism, if they so choose.

I don't care for people who become loud and confrontational in the first place, then toss in some unsolicited advice about what I should do behind the curtain, and I have checked out of the conversation prior to the second syllable of the first word passing through the speaker's lips.

For a couple months people who usually appear to be reasonable are transformed and believe they obtained some sort of election-time-omnipotence.

But I'm not judging. I think it far better to be passionate about politics than apathetic.

So how can we have meaningful political discussions without damaging relationships?

Some people think it requires abandoning personal beliefs, giving in, or keeping silent, in order to keep the peace.

A book that was written about three decades ago titled "Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In," by Roger Fisher and William Ury, contains some remarkable insight.

Right away it is recommended that people who are disagreeing should separate people from the issues.

People may tend to treat opposing viewpoints as personal attacks, as though it implies, "If you don't like what I'm voting for, you don't like me."

It doesn't have to be that way, though.

As I see it, the way people vote is usually based on a number of factors.

Economic standing and the impact on a voter's lifestyle will surely be factors. For instance, a proposition, measure or candidate could stand to promote or diminish the quality of that particular voter's day-to-day life. Lifestyle choices will also play a role in the choices people make when casting votes. A good example of this could be people who have children versus those who do not.

Young people probably have different priorities than seniors. Are you going to get in grandma's face, call her names and love her less because she doesn't want to pay a tax for a new park?

I think not.

And then there's geography -- importance placed on certain services, such as law enforcement, fire protection, public transportation and medical access or care, are often related to the region where the voter lives or works as opposed to moral values.

Some people vote based on upbringing and family beliefs.

Separating people from issues allows the benefit of addressing issues without damaging relationships. It also serves as a clarifier for the issue because emotion is absent.

Conflicts typically surface because people have different interpretations of the facts.

Conflicts can be avoided by attempting to understand the other person's point of view.

Listen to other people. Treat them with respect. Behave courteously and communicate directly.

Fisher and Ury recommend focusing on the parties' interests, not their positions.

"Your position is something you have decided upon. Your interests are what caused you to so decide," the authors wrote. Discuss interests, not positions.

Check yourself: Body language, tone of voice and be sure to avoid name-calling. Prevent acrimony to create conversation, perhaps even solutions, because after all, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," right?

Mandy Feder is the Managing Editor at Lake County Publishing. She can be reached at mandyfeder@yahoo.com or 263-5636 ext. 32. Follow on Twitter @mandyfeder1.