Dilemma

I have a dilemma. I feel like I should speak to Peter about an issue Anna is having, but at the same time, logic tells me that's not something I should be doing.

Anna confided in me last night that she's tired of spending every Dad weekend with Stacie and Maddie. It's not because she dislikes them in any way – she likes Stacie just fine and she adores Maddie and considers her a sister now. It's just that she wishes she and David could have some time with Dad as just the three of them.

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As soon as she told me, I said "Anna, you need to tell Daddy this. He probably doesn't realize you'd like a little more alone time with him." She replied (quite vehemently) that she can't tell Dad – Stacie is his girlfriend and he'll get mad if she doesn't want him to see her. She's also worried that Peter will think she doesn't like Stacie and maybe he'll break up with her if she says something. I tried to reassure her that he'd do no such thing, especially if she told him like she told me, that she likes them both but wants some weekends to be just the three of them. No dice. She's too worried he'll take it the wrong way.

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So now what do I do? I know Peter would want to know this, and as Anna's parent, I want her happy. If she'd made a similar comment to him about me, I'd certainly want to know it. However, it's not my place at all to tell him how he should be spending his weekends with them. He has a separate life now, and that needs to be respected. It's also important that Anna learn to communicate her needs to her father on an ongoing basis. I suppose I'm relegated to the bleachers on this one, watching the game play out. I hate it, though.

I swear, this is one of the hardest parts of this process. I feel like I'm not being allowed to parent in an area I was always allowed to parent in before. Worse, I know he'd want to know this.