I have had an amazing journey during the past 6 weeks.
I have come to the understanding in a very real way how our traumas of childhood shape our adult lives and create the life we believe we deserve.
Seems simple, I know, but for me it is my truth.
I have had the joy and pleasure of meeting my authentic self at last and I love me.

I have always believed that my birth mother couldn't wait to give me away and get on with her life. That she didn't want to keep me and love me. I was unloved and unlovable, not allowed to have what I wanted.

This belief has affected all of my life. I felt disconnected with myself and anyone who thought I was in relationship with. I always wanted children but I was unaware of why. I believed that it was to give the child the love I didn't believe I got. What I now realise is that I wanted a child to heal my pain and to receive the unconditional love from the child. How harmful would that be for any child?
I married a woman who didn't want children and my belief was that I could change her mind. This didn't happen during the course of 29 years and in the end I left the marriage a resentful man. The fault did not lie with my ex wife for she was constant in her decision. And I have come to realise that I set this woman up to fail. My belief was that I couldn't have what I wanted and so I stayed with her for 29 years to prove it to myself thus damaging us both in the process. I do realise that she had her own decisions within the relationship but at last I can own mine.
My businesses crashed as did I because my foundation stones were built on shifting sands.
My traumas at 6 weeks old have shaped my life.

I have recently attended some training in the USA led by Sandy Levey-Lunden called The Power of Clearing. A tool which can help shift our false belief systems and allow us to forgive ourselves for believing them and forgive ourselves for forgetting that we are innocent, whole, complete and beautiful. that we are all truly connected and are love itself.

Sandy is an amazing person who formed this tool into something powerful and simple. Clearing is as effective as you choose it to be. The more present you are then the more effective and you can clear as often as you feel, as life does throw triggers at us to challenge and create insecurity.

I have cleared my beliefs around money, sex, time, love, women and there is more to do. My world feels brighter, bigger and more complete. I have been able to write a letter to my birth mother asking to meet, to my ex wife asking to meet and take my responsibility for my actions.

There remained an edge to my struggle. A non verbal remnant which was a persistent little bugger, which didn't want to be cleared. I had chance of some re-birthing work whilst at the training. The last edge was on of not trusting anyone particularly my birth mum and also myself that I wouldn't be ok.
Jonathan took me through the process with such love and care. I was able to be re-born, to vocalise my baby feelings to the point of exhaustion. As I sat in the after process I realised that the fight I had to be born was due, not to my mum's shame about me but because she knew that once I was in the world then I was going to be taken from her. She loved me and probably still does. I am lovable and I am loved and this realisation has allowed me to drop my mistrust of everything, let go of my need to control and live in 'The Now'.

This is a whole new world to me and I am slowly acclimatising. Brilliant.

And I am now trained in the Power of Clearing and so can offer this to anyone who feels ready to do the work.
Check me out at www.wildmantalking.com