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Saturday, December 27, 2008

Saturday, December 27, 2008

(Ok, so the assumption that these were NOT made by Jews is a leap, I know, but can't a girl hope?)

"A Star is (Not) Born"

Yes, technically a Star of David is two triangles intersecting, Bugsy - but not like this. And I think you can lay off the "poiple" icing now, too.

"The Teal Tornado"

As you can see, this traditionally-colored flaming whirlwind knocked the wording about and blew the second 'k' clean off. Of course, if for the sake of argument we called this a "menorah", then it's also missing a candle. The fact that the "candles" look like Christmas trees is just the icing on the, er, cookie. MazelTov!

And last but not least,

"The Religiously Confused"

How much you wanna bet this bakery has a bin of "Christmas Stars" in the back?

On cake #3 I'm thinking the person at the bakery thought, "I'm sick of all the 'Season's Greetings', 'Happy Holidays', 'Happy Hanukkah' euphemisms. I'm putting 'Merry Christmas' on all the cakes because that's what everyone is celebrating!"

Teal Tornado!! Hilarious! (It is a lovely color, though...)I really got the feeling that someone had sneezed right between "HANU" and "KAh."If so, it *could* just explain how the glimy-gloobery got there.The little trees /whatnots were an attempt to make it represent an actual something-or-other, like a pedestal on which we have little green pinecones wearing hats. Or the Seven Dwarfs plus a new recruit.I shouldn't come here before I've had my coffee.

Don't be too hard on the tornado decorator who left off the second K in "Hanukkah" - there's only one K in the Hebrew spelling, and the transliteration isn't universal. Plenty of other reasons to pick on that cake. :)

I'm guessing that last bakery neglected to stock up on "Happy Christmukkah" lettering...

I love the teal tornado! And "Christmas Stars"! Although a cake like that could be used in my house as we're a bit confused... I made latkes for Christmas Eve dinner and we have a dreidel on our Christmas tree. :)

Actually, the whirlwind thing is called a Hanukkiah, after the holiday. A menorah is a seven branched candelabrum used to tell the days of the week. Also, a Hanukkiah needs nine branches, with one higher than the other eight. Just dropping some knowledge...

Plenty of Christian/Jewish families would love that last cake but holy moly is that a hilarious mess. I suspect that the decorator did in fact have "Christmas stars" in the back and just stuck them on.

The unholy CCC has reared it's hideous head in the form of the malformed Star of David. Which really is not that hard. Come on. I'm not even Jewish and I'm annoyed at that one. It's just lazy decorating.

I second that the "spider leg" things on cake #3 are papers to separate the slices. It's common for prefab cakes designed to be sold by the slice to have those, although the extra decoration on top baffles me.

Word verification: parch. What happens to your mouth when you eat stale cake.

Dear Mr. Politicians,SACRILEGE! SACRILEGE! Somebody stop this politically correct #@$% People are getting religiously confused and it's NOT FUNNY! Okay, well, maybe it is, a little....... BUT IT'S STILL NOT RIGHT!!!!!!!!!Sincerely, A So Totally Not Crazy Person Who Is Not Addicted To This Blog CompletelyWell....Possibly.....WHATEVER!

Wait--I know who that last cake is marketing too. I have a couple friends who married each other despite religious differences. She is Christian, he is Jewish. This time of the year they celebrate both religious holidays, so this would be the perfect cake for them!

If the last one is supposed to be a cake for both Christmas and Hanukkah, it's an absolute failure. I bet even my non-baking sister-in-law could do a better job. Whoever decorated that cake needs to be slapped 10x in a row.

I'd also like to point out that 'Hanukah' with one K isn't wrong - anything that is a transliteration from another language merely has an approximation in English. The proper spelling, is of course, in Hebrew. For example al-Qaeda/al-Qaida are both 'right' although any one publication might have a preffered transliteration.

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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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