Wednesday, March 24, 2010

You’ve missed it, I’m sure, so I’m bringing it back just to mix things up around here.

You know me, keeping it fresh, keeping it real, and keeping it so-not Dumb!

It’s a way of life people!

So-Not-Dumb Things Dumb Mom Loves (but only for like the moment, because Dumb Mom is a fickle, flighty thing and is easily distracted by shiny things; just because you aren’t dumb today, doesn’t mean you won’t be tomorrow!)

1. Spring. I L-O-V-E spring. The budding flowers, the thunderstorms, the soft sunlight. All of it. Except for the incessant pre-dawn chirping of the birds. And soccer practice. And mud. And wind. And maybe like one or two other things. But other than that, I totally love spring. Because even though the water at “the beach”* is still beyond too cold to get into (not that I do anyway, beach water gives me the willies) we can at least go there. And rub some sunshine on our faces. And after Snowpacalypse 2010, we could use a little sunshine.

2. Easter. I’m all for any holiday that features a mythical being. Christmas, Easter, and… Okay, so I guess it’s just Christmas and Easter, but whatever, I like both of those. Because they are fun for me the kids. Dumb Dad and I hide eggs (not the hard boiled kind because I’m anti egg coloring), and make a ridiculously elaborate map with clues and stuff to their baskets that is frustrating as crap takes them all day to find. And, we get dressed up, and go to Mimi and Papa’s for dinner, and like every three years or so we even go to church!** Good times. Best part though is that I get to shop for super cool stuff to put in their baskets. This is gonna make the cut this year thanks in part to my buddies at Dancing Bear Toys.

Looks like a BLAST, right?!

3. Bubbles.

But only when the weather is nice enough that they can play with them outside. Because bubbles and tiled flooring is a bloody-embarrassing-possibly-loss-of-consciousness accident waiting to happen for Dumb Mom. Plus they have the ability to make afternoons that start off like this…

turn out like this…

Magic.

4. Awesome doctors. Like Dr. Kidney who is hands down the best nephrologist in Maryland. I was gonna interview him and talk about screening for kidney disease and taking care of your kidneys and other boring mundane medical type junk you probably couldn't care less about stuff. But then I decided to not to (as The Dudes like to say) because pictures are way mo betta. So here he is, Dr. Kidney, my listen-to-me-and-you’ll-live-for-ever-kidney-care-specialist-extraordinaire…

I swear to you, if you live in my area, and you need a nephrologist he (and his partner) is hands down the best choice, and I would know.***

5. People who give me awards. Like Brea from Brea’s Befuddled Brain and Sarah at The Stroller Ballet (among a few others I’ve been remiss in mentioning) because they are sweet and they come here and read my RanDumbness and tell me I’m Lovely or Beautiful or whatever even though they know I’m not gonna answer the questions or follow the official award rules and regulations or even give them to anyone else. Not because I don’t intend to, just because I just don’t. So thank you. I do appreciate them. Swear I do.

6. Potty trained two year olds. Who are doing pretty stinking’ great at not having accidents. Except for that one time, at Joann's (sorry Joann’s patrons and employees, I was totally gonna go back and clean it up, but we had to change and then we had to, like, go, so um, yeah).

7. Organization. Thanks to the likes of the Closet Tailors who hooked up the Dumb Family pantry. I’m not able to provide any before pictures because I forgot to take some the sight was just too hideous to share, but the afters are pretty much speak for themselves, see…

I ask that you ignore the duct taped basket prominently displayed in this photograph and instead, focus on the awesomeness of the shelving instead.

8. Cake Foot. Because if you have enough cake to throw it on the floor and dance in it, you must have access to a whole butt load of cake, which in my book, is SO very not dumb.

It is not gonna make your ears bleed (okay, maybe it will, but not a lot, and only on like one or two songs) and it allows you to capture videos of your kids doing the Stanky Leg their best moves. You gotta love how for reals #1 is in this video, as if he’s really doing something!

10. Made up descriptive words and phrases. Like “super-natural good”. A term coined by #2 meaning, so good you can’t stand it. As in, “Mom, deez cookies are super natural good.” Or, “super-natural-blah-blah-blah good”. Also coined by #2 and used to express something even better. If something is “super-natural-blah-blah-blah good” it is so good it makes you senseless. Literally, you nearly lose your mind it’s so good. As in, “Mom you were da meanest mom earlier, but now since you wet (aka let) me pway my DS, you made me feel super-natural-blah-blah-blah good and dat’s why I wuv you.” Seriously doesn’t get better than that!

*It’s actually a strip of sand along the lake we live at. But, for all intents and purposes it’s a beach to The Dudes.

**In my defense, I’ve been working at the hospital for the past 4 years and, since I work every Sunday, and people are always sick, and the place never closes, and sometimes I feel like a POW when I’m there I pretty much always work on Easter, making church a near impossibility for this Dumb Family.

***See above to clearly understand that I have intimate knowledge about all of the doctors in my area so if you have a nasty case of hemorrhoids need a recommendation, I’m your girl!

****Dumb Mom Admits it’s Free: Standard disclaimer in case it’s not obvious. As with previous posts, a copy of the Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel was provided to me for my use free of charge. Additionally, I will receive monetary compensation (aka cash, cold, hard cash) for my participation in this project through the WB WOM team.