I AM JUST A SMALL PIG
IF YOU THINK WHEN I AM BIG
I'LL BE MADE INTO LITTLE PORK PIES
THEN I'VE NEWS FOR ALL YOU
WHO ENJOY PIGGY STEW
YOU ARE IN FOR A GREAT BIG SURPRISE
TO ENSURE I STAY SLIM
I'VE ENROLLED AT THE GYM
I WILL NOT BECOME BACON OR PORK
I INTEND TO GET THINNER
NOT END UP AS DINNER
ALONG SIDE YOUR KNIFE AND YOUR FORK
I'LL HAVE MY NAME IN LIGHTS
AS I SLIP ON MY TIGHTS
ON THE CAT WALK WITH NAOMI AND KATE
AND AS I STRUT MY STUFF
FAR AWAY FROM THE TROUGH
I WILL NOT BE THE HAM ON YOUR PLATE
THERE WILL BE ONE BIG SHAKE UP
AS I PUT ON MY MAKE-UP
AND HAVE MY HAIR SHAMPOOED AND FLUFFED
I WILL NOT BE MISTAKEN
FOR GAMMON OR BACON
I REFUSE TO BE BONED, ROLLED AND STUFFED!