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NEWS: Locke Thought Chief Would Be Shorter

There have been many misconceptions regarding the Master Chief throughout his career. Countless souls are unaware of his true origins, his parents believed him to be dead, Parisa believes him to be dead even though she fought alongside him during the first battle of Earth, the entire galaxy believed him to be dead after the Battle of Installation 00, and the population of humanity has been told he is dead by ONI after the disaster on Meridian. However, the latest misconceptions is not related to whether or not he’s dead…it’s about his height.

Where Sarah Palmer thought the Chief would be taller, Spartan Locke thought he’d be shorter.

This obviously adds an enormity of complications to Fireteam Osiris’s mission. In an interview with FOX News, Locke explained to an anchor the reasoning for his confidence in his mission. Locke said “it’s not confidence in the strength of my team, it’s confidence in the fact that I’m taller than our target. Height matters, not experience.”

Locke proceeded to then engage in a heated debate about climate change with FOX News. Despite FOX’s arsenal of super PACS, bribery, and unflinching support from the American Republican party, Locke brought both Catherine Halsey and the Librarian to his side…ultimately wiping the abomination that is FOX News off the map and reminding the public that climate change is a serious problem, one that must be addressed.

After that triumphant ordeal, however, Locke learned that Chief was not shorter than him. In fact, Locke was forced to behold the reality that the Master Chief is, in fact, taller than Locke.