Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Wow. I didn't think I had it in me. I didn't think I had anything left with which to discuss the whole gay marriage debate turned debacle. Apparently, I DO have something left! Thanks to Perez Hilton. Jackass.

If you are so blissfully unaware of current events that you've missed all of the flack over Miss USA Pageant contestant Miss California Carrie Prejean's (Whew! That's one hell of a moniker that gal has there!) answer to blogger Perez Hilton's question about gay marriage, well, I envy you. I'd like to be so unaware. Unfortunately, I am not. :::sigh:::Here's the scoop: A one "openly homosexual blogger" Perez Hilton somehow managed to weasel his way into being a judge for Miss USA. How that is possible, I'm not quite sure. I don't know what the qualifications are for being a Miss USA judge, but I can't imagine that they're very difficult standards. Regardless of that however, I still highly doubt he'd be qualified. (He seems to be operating on the brain power equivalent to that of a turnip.)

Then it came to be Miss California's turn in the Answer The Question part of the pageant. (What that has to do with anything is completely beyond me. Answering questions has nothing to do with parading around in a lovely little white bikini, does it? It does not. Only if the question is something like, "Are you going to take that off?" would it be relevant. But to ask them their views on world peace and puppies does not exactly clarify the relationship between the two.) And by the "luck of the draw", Perez Hilton's name was drawn from the mandatory pageant fishbowl that is used whenever there's a drawing. (Sadly, there are never any fish in the fish bowl. An aspect of the drawing which, if used properly, could be a huge ratings grab!) The question that the openly gay and even more openly obnoxious celebrity blogger asked was as follows:

"Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not."

OK, well, did you hear the sound of gun safeties being unlocked, because that was a loaded question if I've ever heard one. Just wait. Wait for her response before you answer that. Behold!

"Well, I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage. And, you know what? In my country and in my family I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there. But that's how I was raised and that's how...I think that it should be between a man and a woman. Thank you."Oh, dear God. Here it comes. As you can imagine, Senor Hilton didn't like that answer very much. HOW much he didn't like it wasn't all that clear until he posted a video on his website after the pageant was over. In the video, he made the following statement (which is only a portion of his rant): "She gave the worst answer in pageant history. She got booed. I think that was the first time in Miss USA ever that a contestant has been booed. She lost not because she doesn't believe in gay marriage. Miss California lost because she is a dumb bitch."

You jackass.

So because she didn't agree with you about gay marriage, she's a dumb bitch? Apparently, according to him, yes, she is. He would have rather her give an answer that was ambiguous or, at the very least, in support of something that she clearly does not believe in. From the way that she gave her answer, it appears to me that isn't gay people that she is against. She doesn't seem to have a problem with the people themselves. But she is against the whole gay marriage deal. I'm more OK with that viewpoint than I am with those who just hate gay people for being gay.He also said that "She gave an awful, awful answer which alienated so many people and Miss California, Miss USA, she doesn't alienate, she unites, she inspires. I am so disappointed in Miss California in representing my country, not because she doesn't inspire gay marriage but because she doesn't unite." Um, what?

Really? Miss California unites? Inspires? WHO? Who does she do those things for? I could not tell you the name of ONE single Miss California EVER and I grew up here! In fact, the ONLY Miss whoever I could name would be Vanessa Williams and that's only because she had her precious crown taken away because there were nude pictures of her out there somewhere that no one had ever seen! THAT I remember! But only for the nudity! Otherwise, I wouldn't have had a clue as to who she was either.

But those were not the only words of wisdom from one Perez Hilton. No, there were more! (I know! Joy!) These words come in the form of the response he gave when asked during an interview with MSNBC if he had apologized for his above stated comments. Hilton (whose real name is Mario Armando Lavandeira. Wow. Lavandeira? He never had a chance, did he?) responded with: "I don't apologize....I'm going to stand by what I said just like she's standing by what she said. And I called her the 'b' word, and hey, I was thinking the 'c' word." OK then. That's a bit clearer. Man, you're a jackass.

That's real respectful of you there, Not-So-Super Mario.

I was under the impression that any and/or all of the Miss Wherevers are supposed to 'represent' something. Their state, their country, their county, whatever. Their job is to represent wherever it is that they're from and to look pretty. (And good Lord, does Miss California look pretty! Holy crap, how come she can't win based solely on the white bikini alone? If I had been a judge and seen that, I would have stood up and announced, "She wins! The rest of you can go now! She's the winner! Welcome!" In fact, let's just keep seeing more of that white bikini shot, shall we? That should calm things down a bit. In some ways.) So if she's 'representing' California, then her answer (unfortunately) represents California, as the majority of voters decided last November to pass Proposition 8 and declare that a marriage is between a man and a woman.

And one of the reasons that Proposition 8 passed was because of people like YOU, Mario. Jackasses like you who were vitriolic toward those who disagreed with you. People like you who spewed your hatred of anything and anyone who was in disagreement with you were one of the reasons why Prop 8 passed. People like you who insisted that anyone who was against gay marriage was a bigot. And other folks got really tired of hearing that. Folks like Miss California who didn't have anything against gay people themselves, but who were not comfortable redefining what a marriage is. And folks who felt that way but were on the fence as to how to vote on it were easily persuaded to vote FOR Prop 8 after repeatedly hearing asinine statements from people such as you, Senor.

Super Mario wanted Miss California to give a more politically correct response. He wanted her to say something ambiguous regardless as to whether or not she actually believed what she said. I find that sad. Sad that he would think that and sad that he has a brain the size of a walnut that would allow him to think that. I don't care who you are or what your position in life is, I would rather you be honest and have some integrity that to lie because it's what people want to hear. Even if you're an ass. If you're an ass and you're honest about the fact that you are, in fact, an ass, then at least I can respect you for being an ass and admitting it instead of being an ass and denying it.I wonder if that's what he would like our politicians to do. Would he just prefer that they blow smoke up our ass (actually, given his orientation, he'd probably enjoy that. But I digress...) and tell us what we want to hear in order to get elected and then just go about and do what they really want to do when they're in office? I don't think that's a very good idea. Seems...horribly misguided.

Really, the biggest tragedy in all of this is that the funniest part of her answer was totally missed by everyone. Come on! 'Opposite marriage'? That's hilarious! That should be the focus of all of this discussion, not what her answer was! Gay marriage and opposite marriage! That's just funny. I hate it when perfectly good humor goes to waste. This whole thing has been such a debacle, it makes me long for the days of the Miss Teen USA Pageant and pretty little Miss South Carolina's response to the question she was posed.

Why? Why can't those moments come back? We were such a happier people during the days of things such as, um, the Iraq and the South Africa and such as.