Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

Maybe he was paralyzed with fear by a copy of Entertainment Weekly. You never know when you’re going to pick it up and see Tom Cruise’s huge head staring at you with teeth bared, like he’s going to jump out of the magazine cover and eat you with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

"Man Allegedly Robs Bank, Reads Magazine"
They need to say he 'allegedly' read a magazine? Just goes to show that all libel lawyers have their common sense surgically removed before they are allowed to qualify.

My dad has a friend who was a police officer in San Francisco and has tons of great "stupid criminal" stories. One of my favorites was the bank robber who wrote a note demanding money on the back of a personal check with his name and address on it. When they showed up at his house and asked if he recognized the guy in a photo from the bank's video surveillance he said no, even though he was wearing the exact same clothes as in the picture.

Spinner*'s got the right idea. I've worked with many individuals who've had no other means of survival than to commit a crime and spend their days with "three hots and a cot."
Some institutuionalized folk find the structure so satisfying that they have difficulty thinking for themselves out in the real world.
then again, the guy may have seen one of Dave's columns and, like most of us here, dropped everything else to read it.