What I believe is this: if you masturbate, you will turn into a homosexual, if you aren't one already. If you become a homosexual, it's only a matter of time before you gratify yourself with an animal, and you will catch AIDS and die.

So I should have caught AIDS at the age of 12 before anyone recognised that HIV/AIDS existed, and rather than later risking catching it from [names deleted because I was brought up to respect women] I should definitely have caught it from a sheep instead?

I bet Michael Crook has lobbed one off to a sheep. The clue is in the surname.

Ok, I believe you, boys who masturbate will catch AIDS.
But look at it this way:
How else does a straight boy discovers his sexuality?
With GIRLS!!!
And boys who smooch with girls will catch COOTIES!!!
AIDS, or cooties, I'm sorry but the choice is clear.

P.S.: People, stop getting all worked up over what Headache says, that's the only reason he says it. In other words, he's one happy, well-fed little troll.

Brandy:
Getting multiple commenters to react without crossing the line into bannable territory makes him a succesful troll.
Trolls are just attention whores after all. Nothing forces them to be rude, threatening or otherwise call for a ban... But if you want him out of here, you can always report him and see if a moderator eventually agrees.

And so:
What I believe is this: if you're an attention whore, you will turn into a troll, if you aren't one already. If you become a troll, it's only a matter of time before you gratify yourself with a chanboard, and you will catch AIDS and die.

Crook, (fitting name)...please don't equivocate your personal experience to the rest of the world. How you leaped from knuckle-chuckle to lying with your gramma-daughter to humping your dog is your experience and yours alone.