Friday, February 22, 2008

I am Robot

I am having a conversation with nawinkler as I write this. He is sitting a couple of rows down in a virtually empty and quiet student lounge. But we choose to communicate basically in binary through a complex series of routers and servers hundreds or even thousands of miles away. He says it is like "the time-honored tradition of passing notes." I never passed notes, except to Jill Moeller in 5th grade a couple of times. I preferred to talk in class. My teachers did not prefer that. He did bring up the funny prank of "ghost-writing" notes in hopes they would get picked up and read aloud to the class. He is a funny guy. And so are you. Don't let anyone tell you different. If you care, below I am posting our conversation from last night - without his permission. Is it funny? I have no idea. I thought so.

Nathan: you have an exoskeleton?

me: no, hillary does

and it is sagging

so is mccain's for that matter

and yours

Nathan: I have one but you donme: correct, robot garbage

Nathan: why don't you have one?

me: because i am not indo-steel-scum

Nathan: When did I get an exoskeleton?

me: when you were manufactured, i suppose, r2jerk2

Nathan: I'm pretty sure I'm flesh and blood and skin and bones

with just enough muscles to keep upright

me: that's what you were programmed to believe

Nathan: What about being sick? Robots don't get sick.me: you have never been sick. just in need of a tune up

you bucket of bolts, youNathan: What about being depressed? Do robots get depressed?

me: i would if i was a lifeless ventriloquist's dummy

Nathan: Clinton, McCain, and I are robots. What about Obama?

me: no way, man.

that dude is flesh and blood and blood

Nathan: What about Ron Paul?

What about Ron Paul?

me: he's part robot, like the million dollar man

Nathan: cyborg, then?

me: not really. you are kinda cyborg b/c of your "flesh" exo

Nathan: what about Kucinich?

me: alien

Nathan: I suppose there is a massive conspiracy to make everyone think they're human. Or at least make me think everyone's human?

me: yeah, it's just your chip. the humans, all of us, know. we just don't let on. i hope you don't have a total failure because of this new intel

Nathan: I think I'm okay. I'll just be like, "well, they're probably not human. who cares?" when I'm a jerk to people.

me: you'll be right approximately 32% of the time

Nathan: Is this assuming I'm a jerk to people randomly, or to only those people who have demonstrated they don't care about my feelings?

me: oh, if they don't demonstrate, they are always humans.

you slags are programmed to not by rude to other "humans"

Nathan: okay. I'll be like, "Oh well--they're human--who cares?"

me: if your programming allows

Nathan: Did you see that episode of futurama where Fry was convinced he was a robot?