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Webster’s dictionary defines “him” as male and/or in reference to a male, but the beautiful (ahem…and sometime lonely) women of the cyber world have turned “HIM” into a person they’re in a “relationship” with. Social networking powered by delusion; gave birth to “HIM.”

The power to update a status of what you’re doing or will be doing with “HIM” has destroyed some female’s brain cells because most times a reference to being with this “HIM” is made up.

Most females are in a secret competition with one another, where the game is to show others how poppin’ her and “HIM” is. Females feel the need to out do each other with the affection of their boo and/or the amount of things they do together. If a female is out, she loves to tell others, mainly other females, what her and her man is doing. The problem is, most females don’t have a boo to be the real “him” so the logical explanation is to create one, therefore controlling “HIM.”

With a created “HIM” you will never have problems and you two can be doing whatever you want, when you want, while in reality your home under the covers with a scarf on.

Females in ‘real’ relationships give “him” a name, why? Because females in real relationships are always with that “HIM,” there is not need to give your ‘real’ boo the “HIM” title.

The difference between keeping your relationship to yourself vs. being with “HIM” is, if you’re ‘in a relationship’ that you want to keep yourself you say NOTHING, no reference to ‘him’ at all. Females in “HIM” relationships will tell you every single thing ‘him’ and her do, they give ‘him’ more airtime than a real previous boo because they control what she and this fictional person do together.

“HIM” is possibly the best lover ever created, he only exists in ‘happy’ times. He doesn’t talk back nor does he ever curve you to do other things. “HIM” usually exists only on the weekends or when others are not around.

Beware of people who promote “HIM” as they’re boo they’re capable of telling you anything to seem popping.

You can’t love someone without hating them a little bit. They say being in love is a temporary madness. When your in love nothing else matters, it’s almost like being in a dream, time just stands still. Once you wake up from that dream you have to make a decision, either keep dreaming or stay awake. But is “love” the idea of never being able to be apart or is that what “being in love” is?

Love actually isn’t spending every moment together, it’s not falling asleep and waking up smiling at one another, it’s not even day dreaming about kissing that person, love isn’t the thought of living together forever. It’s not excitement or happiness, laughing or crying, all of those things are just what being in love is, which like many other things we can convince our self we are.

“Love” is the after affect of “being in love,” it’s the memories we have once being in love has burned away. Many people don’t truly understand what love is or what it means to love someone. None of us will ever be a perfect definition of what love is and chasing it will only result into you convincing yourself time after time that your actually in love. Any of us can be in love but only few actually find love.

Being in love is the strong feelings you have for something we like a lot. Its very immature and careless to say, “hey I like you a lot” so we substitute that strong liking to being in love. The excitement of being in love is what drives love.

“Being in love” can fade away but “love” always remains.

To Be Continued.

By K.E.L.L.s

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If you were to eat an apple you wouldn’t mistake it for an orange, nor would you mistake that orange for a grape. Somehow there are several different types of fruit, yet we don’t compare any of them to each other. They come in all shapes and colors, exist in different parts of the world, requiring different things to grow; however, they are all still fruit. Just like fruit, no two men or women are alike; even if you were to find two who are similar, they will not be identical.

The simplest thing can make a major difference. How can we compare two people if they aren’t alike? Should a female who has no kids, no job, but is sexy as hell be compared to a female with a child, good job & her own place? When looking for love should we compare potential lovers to anyone? Does your ex matter if you’re with your next? They say, “It ain’t tricking if you got it,” but what if the dude that’s tricking has no real responsibilities and/or priorities? Should he be compared to a dude with real world bills and consequences of not being responsible?

Fabolous says, “If you’re with the right man you don’t have to price scan,” but do you honestly believe Fab would say that if he wasn’t a rapper? If he had an annual income vs. a rappers’ potential income would he think or believe this? We all get caught up in the facade of another person and the lifestyle they’re either living or portraying. To party in the present is fun, but the future is more promising than today. Can someone be a baller and shot caller if he/she has nothing on the horizon or way of bettering his/her next move: is he/she really a shot caller?

The comparison of two people is almost a definitive act of who you are. No two human beings are alike in the world. We all have different problems and concerns, means of income, and ways in which that income is spent. Two guys making the same annual salary at the same job with the same hours can still live two drastically different lifestyles. We are all masters of our own destiny, so when you find yourself comparing your ex to your next think about what really matters and what’s an intangible facade.

You may eat a grapefruit and it may strangely resemble an orange, but the core and things that make up the taste are completely different.

Choose your fruit wisely, we may all be called men and they may all be called women but no two are exactly alike. Believe That.

By K.E.L.L.s

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Ever try to knock over a soda machine? Yes? No? OK go & try. To tip a coke machine you have to sway it, it’ll rock back & fourth a few times before it falls to the ground and when it falls your back will hurt; the spill will be nasty & not worth the work put into pushing it over. Relationships are similar to knocking over a soda machine, just like being in love, getting over it, knocking it down or leaving that relationship won’t be easy. You’ll break up several times before either realizes this is where I belong or I have to knock this sh*t over.

The pursuit of love is not easy, miscommunication can cause delusions of your love or feelings for that person leading you to question the others motives. Does he/she really wanna end it by knocking us down or is he/she just trying wake me up to realize this is where I belong? Sadly we all want things to be black and white or right and wrong, but love does not operate that way. Love is the only emotion where right or wrong does not, or should not exist and if it does you better not utter the words “I’m right, you’re wrong.”

Do we ever really wanna break up; do we really want that machine to fall? Keep pushing anything & it will drop. Light pushes will alert a person of true love, heavy forceful pushes will wake the person up & have them make a decision, but pushing it completely to the ground might end up in results you may not truly want.

Push with caution.

By K.E.L.L.s

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“Hey baby, I tweeted you today. Did you get my text? I called you and left a voicemail, you didn’t get it? I called you at 8 why didn’t you call me back ‘til 10? I see u read my BBM, but no response? Did my e-mail go thru? Who? What? When? Where? And HOW!?”

–The Current State Of Our Relationships

Love is difficult; it’s perhaps the hardest, yet simplest thing to deal with in life. Technology has made it easier to contact your boo to find out how he or she is doing, but at the same time it has ruined love and/or the trust associated with it. It’s very hard to understand why your lover isn’t instantly responding to your messages, especially since we have several ways to communicate. Right?

We live in a world of instant gratification; unfortunately this has altered what we expect in our love lives. We can Google anything at anytime and get an answer instantly, we want our mate to be just as accessible. The thought of them not responding immediately is a major problem in some relationships. We often question a missed or “delayed” communication response because of the convenience of technology and its instant gratification that we’ve grown accustomed to.

Perhaps we grow tired of one another easier because of the over access we have to each other. It doesn’t matter how interesting a person is, constant contact all day may dim the light of interest.

The over-access of communication is a gift and a curse. Many of us cannot deal with the fact that our lover has another life outside of the one you’ve built together. Healthy relationships require a healthy amount of space. In any relationship “me” time is needed.

If you call, text, email, and/or BBM your boo & he or she doesn’t respond immediately do not call/text/email/BBM again asking why there was no response. About 40 years ago a couple of geniuses invented something called CALLER ID, which shows us who called, when they called and how many times they called. Now we have text/email/BBM, which until it is checked will be shown as a new message. Don’t stress yourself with the gift and the curse of being over-connected; you may never know why he or she isn’t replying back instantly. The reason may be valid, most times bullsh*t, but either way, don’t over-access your relationship then question its very existence.

Stay connected.

By K.E.L.L.s

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I Guess I Should’ve Known, By The Way U Parked Ya Car
Sideways That It Wouldn’t Last…
See You’re The Kind Of Person, Who Believes In Making Our Once Love Em & Leave Em Fast. -Prince “Little Red Corvette”

Is it possible to love a promiscuous lover or someone who in the past had a “loose” lifestyle? Do people ever change? Or is the old saying “can’t turn a hoe into a housewife” true? What really matters, the fact that we had lovers in the past or the number of lovers we had? Should it matter? And if so, how can we ever learn to love or be in a relationship? Virgins no longer exist, so aren’t we all “loose?”

People can and do change given the right circumstances. An insecure person cannot be in a committed relationship with a person of a “sexually free” background, or someone who used to live a wild life; the simple thought of him/her “sexually sweating” with another person would destroy their brain! To have the image of someone in between his/her lovers legs would simply drive them crazy. At some point in time your current was with another, so why devote brainpower to thinking about it?

Does asking him/her about their past solve any age-old mystery? Does it make you feel better? How does this particular questioning of the past benefit your current relationship? I understand we all want to learn about the person and what his/her past lovers were like, but asking or caring about sexual escapades solves nothing. Knowing whether they are disease free and healthy should be the only thing of concern. Love the one your with and don’t worry about who he/she has been with.

Are you happy? Does he/she fill your heart with so much happiness that no one else matters? Really? That’s nice, I’m happy for you, we’re all happy for you. We see you smiling, that little grin on your face, awwwww. Now, let’s come back to reality. Are you really happy in your current relationship? Or are you so eager to get over your ex that you FORCE your new relationship? You want it to work but what you really want is to get over your ex, make them mad in the process or prove to them you’ve moved on in hopes of them running back to you. Many play the game, few understand it but no one wins.

We put so much into a previous relationship that our next one has to be the jackpot, it has to last and we have to be happy. If you can’t sit down and think of three things that make your current better than your previous perhaps you’re forcing that situation. Some people, through delusion, will truly be happy with a person but knows it isn’t who they want to be with.

It’s usually obvious to spot a forced relationship or to tell who and what relationships aren’t genuine. The idea of being lonely makes people very desperate, although the person they pick isn’t a bad catch; it just isn’t the person they truly wish they caught. Love is a beautiful thing, being in love with someone you truly want is even better.

Every relationships is different & every situation requires different answers. Make sure you take the right test & give the right answers.

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Why can’t any of us ever break up? Sure we love the process of love but if that purpose to stay together is gone, shouldn’t we be gone?

Being in a relationship is hard. We pretend outside forces don’t affect our decisions but the very thought of our decisions are based on what other people think & say. We’ll never meet anyone worth being called perfect but we will meet our definition of what we think that is. As we build our relationships, getting to know one another, gaining trust & creating memories that fear of failure always lingers. Time goes by, we fall in love, out of love, break up, make up & hate love. But do we really hate love? Or do we hate the thought of someone else hitting the jackpot we worked so hard to win?

We work to perfect our relationship with a person & when it goes wrong it’s a feeling of failure. The ‘jackpot’ of happiness with that person is now waiting for someone else. We put all this time into this person, loving them so hard that it’ll be easy for the next person to score off my time spent. Just like at a Las Vegas casino slot machine, you pour all these quarters into a machine only to walk away to have the next lucky person try & hit.

To see someone you once loved happy with someone else is difficult. What does he/she have that I didn’t? Most often its nothing, your ex was so hurt at the failure you two had that the next person who stepped up, half decent, seemed heaven sent, now this may or may not always be the case but happiness is only what you make it. If you’re hurt by a previous lover you can easily fall for the next by that feeling & needing to move on.

When playing with love make sure you’re playing for the right things, all slot machines give out different amounts, pouring your quarters into that one may not be worth the jackpot you think you’re getting.

The best job you can do is to not be held responsible and/or accountable for anything. Being the leader or the point person in any form of organizational structure will always gain you praise, as well as, hate. The easiest thing to do is criticize the job of another person. Everyone assumes to know what’s best when they don’t have the real consequence of dealing with the aftermath of those real decisions.

Many believe they would do a better job than president Obama is doing, not taking into consideration the state he was handed the union. Sure there were things promised not done yet but the political red tape of the real world slows any process down. Something as simple as renaming a street goes through many levels of legislation, so why isn’t this expected for the decisions & plans the president has planned? There are countless meetings just to talk about the meeting coming up. We are all familiar with the hood term “politics” and we all knows that it means a process we can’t control, so why are we lost, confused and for some, upset with the job being done?

For everything good he does he’s criticized for ten things wrong. Some out of his control, most take time & others not fast enough, yet people want immediate improvement. The U.S.A has been in trouble for some time. There are many things set in place to avoid problems but those things have been crumbling for years. Reaganomics, which happened DECADES ago, is the actual cause of the state we are in. That was the start of the end. So before you criticize things you don’t understand do your research and learn our history. The current Prez is actually responsible for fixing problems that failed 30 years ago & it will take long after he’s served & gone for our problems to be fixed.

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Change Goin’ Come! Stage 4 (Eight Years Behind A Four Year Fresh Start)

”George Bush Had Eight Years To Rip Apart The Country, President Obama Cannot and Will Not Fix It Four” -Kells

It clearly is easier to ruin something than fix it. Imagine starting a race in eighth place with a injury, the person in 1st is in top condition, it’s almost like racing against yourself. The more the current commander in chief repairs the more things there are to fix, it’s a failed system set in place by previous heads of government.

Regardless of how you feel about his progress or the things he has or hasn’t accomplished President Obama has done more in his few years than Bush did his whole term. We have a clear agenda of what’s to be done & presumption of how it will be done. Politicians have a tough job because an agenda must be laid out regardless of if it will get accomplished or not. Think about our own personal to do list that consist of minimal tasks that never get done, when we want it done, such as make doctor appointment, buy lotion, pick up cleaners, whatever daily errands we plan to cross off, now compare that to a countries to do list, fix economy, stop war, create jobs for 800,000 people! How will this be possible to do in the allotted time given to the Prez?

We all spend more time talking about what a person didn’t do rather than what they did. Obama cannot wake up, rub his head, drink a cup of OJ & say ok let me fix this shit. There is & will always be political red tape that prevents immediate actions. Congress, legislators & the house prevent dictatorships by a process many don’t understand. Pres Obama can only work as hard as the structure allows him.

Obama has made history not only by winning the election but also by many of the actions he stands behind, healthcare, the economy, the war are all things he stands firm in. Many of us get stressed & discouraged from our small task of responsibility now imagine running the U.S.A? Heavy Is The Head That Wears The Crown.