Muppets – Tougher than you Think…

I used to write. A Lot. Every single day. About anything and everything. Just for me. In nearly every genre, in different tones and styles – sometimes it made sense – sometimes it was even good – sometimes not so much… anyways I found myself going through some of my old material and thought it might be funny to every so often, pull out some random, out of context passages and share them with you….. this will be our first and it’s as good a place to start as any…. it’s pretty off the wall, from a violent muppet crime caper short story….. enjoy

“The solution was obviously a less violent one than Kermit had in mind—punching his face in with a brick—but we all felt good about it; me in particular – when I left I felt a weight lift off me. One I had carried for eleven years. I hadn’t killed a deranged puppet elephant. It was the sweetest moment of my life. Of course, it was Snuffle who had the last laugh. Not only did he enroll in Georgetown, but he graduated Summa Cum Laude, and went on to become an economic advisor. Bugs went home to find out his wife was pregnant again. They’re not kidding when they talk about doing it like bunnies—Bugs had over six-hundred children. Gumby starred on a cable access show called “Nighttime Thoughts with Gumby” where he would talk about art, independent films, and different kinds of chewing gum at 3 am. The show was cancelled after three episodes. After all this I decided to become a priest, which was weird because I’m Jewish. It was a weird time for me. I later quit and worked as a bra salesman in Barcelona, Spain, then I moved to New York and met my wife, Shelley, who made my life complete. I made her pregnant. And that is how she became my wife. Kermit…well, Kermit wasn’t heard from much again. He spends most of his time locked up in manor, away from people. I do hear from time to time people see him around the mall – chatting about the Vietnam War with homeless people. I also heard a rumor that Miss Piggy had returned to him and they were in the process of a reconciliation. It’s all probably just rumors though. Although if I do see a half frog half pig child running around in the next few years, I will be suspicious”.

I’m gonna stop there, I certainly hope in some small way, you feel your life has been enriched…. was it random enough for you? Lord knows I work at it…