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Poor Performance Reviews: Nine Ways You Can Accept What's Being Said

Top business and career coaches from Forbes Coaches Council offer firsthand insights on leadership development & careers.

Getting a bad yearly review can feel like a gut punch. You feel like you've been working hard and doing what you've been asked, but it hits you that your leaders aren't happy about some things.

And you're not sure you agree. There are points on the review you think are questionable, or seem to be coming out of left field. You know your boss isn't out to get you, so how should you proceed?

While being tempted to disbelieve some, or even all, of a poor report is a natural reaction, simply discounting what they're telling you out of hand won't help. Ignoring what's being said can be a quick way to finding new job opportunities. So how do you process troublesome feedback when you get it? Members of Forbes Coaches Council suggest trying the following approaches:

Members of Forbes Coaches Council share their insight.

All images courtesy of Forbes Councils members.

1. Take Some Time To Process

You may be reacting emotionally to the feedback, hence making it harder to accept and own it. Give it some time. Circle back with your manager in a few weeks, offering your interpretation of their feedback along with your proposed solutions. This approach will empower you to move forward. - Zheila Pouraghabagher, Collaboration Business Consulting

2. Ask Questions

Open communication is key in any situation. Don't be afraid to ask questions. This can be crucial in your growth because you can learn why some things were said and how to apply critical feedback. It is important not to take the situation personally, but it can be difficult to understand feedback without asking some questions. A lack of communication will not enhance a performance review. - Valerie Martinelli, Valerie Martinelli Consulting, LLC

3. Avoid Becoming Defensive

It is hard for people to be thankful for less-than-favorable feedback on a performance review. But since your value at work is determined by the perception others have of you, getting that feedback is a crucial step in managing that perception. Some employees don't get that kind of feedback until they are being let go, so it is good to get it when there is still time to do something about it. - Donald Hatter, Donald Hatter Inc.

Feedback is necessary for any professional to get better. If you never know where your shortcomings may be or where you excel, how will you know what steps to take to move to the next level? Feedback is a learning experience. If you want to do well as a professional, you'll have to take it all in — the good, the bad and the mundane. - Maleeka T. Hollaway, The Official Maleeka Group, LLC.

5. Use Perceptual Positions

The difficulty in accepting feedback arises from our inability to see the other's point of view. You need to "step into" the shoes of your supervisor to explore "their story." How does your supervisor see the situation? Now step back, and as an "observer" ask "What is the best way forward for the individual?" This will help you see feedback dispassionately, and determine an optimal course of action. - Viswanath Parameswaran, Institute of Transformational Coaching

6. Zoom Out And Look At The Big Picture

Start by asking yourself about the reviewer’s orientation. What do they have to gain, or lose, from the feedback session? If you conclude that their motive is genuine, recognize that you have blind spots that the reviewer may see clearly. Accept that the only way you can grow is to be shown these blind spots. Then ask questions of the reviewer to suggest how you can adapt your behavior to succeed. - Deborah Goldstein, DRIVEN Professionals

7. Lean Into Curiosity

Performance reviews — no matter their results — can bring forth personal emotion. We are human beings wired with emotion, even in the workplace and particularly with regard to our contributions. However, leaning into curiosity allows us to leverage our emotion in a positive and productive way. Look closely at context and the full landscape of intention through this lens. Curiosity loves growth. - Tonyalynne Wildhaber, The Courage Practice

8. Look Past Delivery

“If I applied this feedback, would it make me more effective in my role?” If the answer is yes, then it's possible how it was delivered didn’t sit well with you, but the feedback itself was valid. Get past the delivery and get to the core of the feedback, so you improve performance. If this is hard for you to accept, ask for more frequent feedback exchanges, so you can begin to build the skill of hearing feedback. - Kirsten Blakemore, Partners In Leadership

9. Discover The 'Kernel Of Truth'

We don't see ourselves the way that others do. For sure, there may be a supervisor who is overly harsh or even just plain wrong, but most of the time, there is at least a "kernel of truth" in negative feedback. Be open. Ask for examples. Find out what really needs to change. Seek feedback informally from peers about the area of performance, so you get additional insight. Be motivated to change! - Christine Allen, Ph.D, Insight Business Works