Don't Panic, Justin Bieber's Hamster Is Totally Fine

One less lonely rodentIn news that gripped the nation last week, Justin Bieber has been accused of an unspeakable act of animal cruelty. The controversial moment happened in Atlanta, when Bieber was captured on video handing something to a teenage fan. In the grainy clip, Bieber can be heard shouting above the screams of a crowd, saying, “That’s all you. You gotta take care of PAC.”

PAC, as it turns out, was Justin Bieber's hamster. And in gifting the small rodent to his fan, Bieber angered hamster-lovers worldwide, including the California Hamster Association. The CHA wasted no time in issuing a statement against Bieber's heartless actions, saying it was "extremely likely that this hamster would have been harmed."

Right? For one thing, that hamster could have been immediately stuffed up someone's ass. Luckily for the millions who have been transfixed by this fascinating story, there's been an update on PAC's condition.

He’s fine. He sleeps during the day and plays at night — he’s acting like a normal hamster. (...) PAC is used to being on the road, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m going to do with PAC what Justin would do and try to be a similar environment like Justin did. Justin took him to meet his fans. So I take him to the park and I let people pet him. He goes with me everywhere. He’s like my baby.

As for the accusations from the California Hamster Association that Bieber had unknowingly practiced "a form of animal cruelty" since hamsters "often succumb quickly to illness and death" when faced with "sudden environmental change," Blair says Bieber hardly handed over the mouselike creature without any warning. Sure, he may have randomly shoved the hamster through a chain link fence into a hysterical fan's hands, but he also provided a thorough lesson in the animal's care and feeding:

He gave me instructions for how to take care of him. He said, ‘He loves his ball’ and ‘He needs to eat.’

In conclusion, PAC is doing just fine, and I'm sure it's perfectly healthy for young Blair to obsess over a living gift from her favorite star. Meanwhile, the California Hamster Association has clarified that while they do not approve of his choice, Bieber doesn't need to worry about a hamster-group-based attack:

We have no ill will toward Mr. Bieber.

What do you think, was Bieber nuts for pawning off a hamster to a fan? How hilarious is it that there's actually a California Hamster Association? Was it a hamster or a gerbil that was reportedly found in Richard Gere's butt? Can you even believe I just wrote a whole article about Justin Bieber's hamster, because jesus, I sure can't?