How Not to Recruit a Willing Cannibalism Victim

​Look, buddy, I get it. Your whole life you've had an unnatural craving for human flesh. You get in line behind a particularly shapely ass at the grocery store, and immediately you start picturing it dry-rubbed with your favorite blend of herbs and spices and turning slowly on a spit. "A Modest Proposal" seems perfectly reasonable to you.

Does it occur to you, though, that this might be too easy? That the would-be victim could change his mind? That it could all be an elaborate sting?

Because that's more or less what happened to you in Slovakia, reports MSNBC:

Investigators say the suspect used the Internet to search for a person who wanted to commit suicide or be killed and would agree to let him eat the body. A Swiss man initially agreed but later changed his mind and informed authorities, police said.

An undercover officer who pretended to be the would-be victim agreed to meet the suspect near Kysak on Tuesday, as agreed, police said.

The meeting turned into a gun battle, and the suspect was shot multiple times. (He survived.) The best detail from the story, though, is how the cannibal planned to prepare -- or, rather, to preserve -- his victim:

His body, hidden under brush and then doused with black pepper, would be consumed over time.