The sexy werewolf we have all been waiting for finally shows up in Bon Temps and Tara discovers the benefits of being with a vamp!

That’s right kids, in typical True Blood fashion it was Eric (Alexander Skarsgård) and not the creepy werewolf waiting for Sookie (Anna Paquin) who took a bullet to the chest. Eric was however kind enough to then kill the intruder for Sookie, staining her rug with a rather large amount of blood in the process. Will this girl ever be able to keep that house clean?

Over in Mississippi a rather charred Lorena (Mariana Klaveno) is recovering from Bill’s (Stephen Moyer) aggressive greeting and seems to have forgiven him for his lack of manners. King Russell (Denis O’Hare) is still trying to woo Bill to pledge his allegiance and seems to be making headway, though the King’s suggestion Bill change Sookie seems to fall on deaf ears.

Now back again to Louisiana where Tara (Rutina Wesley) and Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) are having great things happen to them, but with horrible long term repercussions. You know what, ain’t nothing ever go right for those two — enjoy it while you can guys!

Tara met a man. Well, an undead man. Franklin (James Frain) is back and from the look on Tara’s face very, very good in the horizontal position. Come to think of it every vampire seems to be in said situation save Bill. Is Bill the worst vampire lover? We figure this is sort of a worst house on a super amazing block sort of thing anyway but we have never seen Sookie’s eyes literally roll back in her head. Oh, and that other thing Bill likes to do — but we’ll get into that later.

After their lovemaking it seems that Franklin may be pleasuring Tara for his own good when the pillow talk turns to Bill and Sookie. And once again Tara gets a crappy deal.

Lafayette meanwhile gets a fancy car from Eric that is literally nicer than his house. Like, maybe even nicer. But this is clearly good old Eric’s way of telling L-Bomb he is gonna have to start selling and pushing more V. If it means getting to hang out with Eric, we will gladly help.

Oh, Sam’s (Sam Trammell) white trash family comes by Merlotte’s and gets drunk and white trashy. Again kids, if you’re a shape shifter and looking to meet the family that abandoned you, probably not gonna be happy with that decision.

Also, Arlene’s (Carrie Preston) pregnant! Yayyy! Oh, but looks like boyfriend and all around greatest dude in Bon Temps Terry (Todd Lowe) is not the father. Sigh.

Now the episode’s most amazing part, brand new werewolf Alcide (Joe Manganiello). I mean, wow. He looks great, has a beard, wears plaid flannel, and hangs out at awesomely punny bars like Lou Pine’s.

Well, Alcide agrees to escort Sookie in her quest to find Bill where their first stop is the local wolfie watering hole — the aforementioned Pine’s — to get some dirt. Sookie, in typical Sookie tempting fate fashion, wears an all white, virginal look. She flirts, a wolf pounces, Alcide come to the rescue. This is shaping up to be a fun relationship.

The episode’s final scene however was just, I mean, it was not okay. I have heard the expression ‘I’m gonna wring your neck,’ I have just never seen someone do it. So watching Bill have angry sex with Lorena and then twist her neck 180 degrees left a bad taste in my mouth. Her’s too I’d assume from all the blood pouring out. Can these two call a truce now?