~ the musings of a left wing left hander with two left feet

Well, that wasn’t really worth the wait, was it?

So, apparently diaphragms are très passé in gynecological circles. The doctor was all like “ugh, no one uses those any more. All the cool kids get IUDs these days.”

NO

YES

When I pushed a bit she kept saying things like “you do know you have to put it in before intercourse each time? And take it out again the next day? And you have to put spermicide in them? And they fail 30% of the time?” and I was all like “but it’s safe and non-hormonal and after all, we want more kids anyway.”

She eventually said they might have a demo kit in the back somewhere and if I insisted they could try it, but that she has never actually given a diaphragm to anyone in her whole history as a gynecologist and she really didn’t recommend it, if only because I am still losing weight after pregnancy and you need to refit and get a new one every time you lose five or ten pounds.

So I gave in and took the prescription for a flipping IUD. She reassured me that they are very safe, and that even if I do hit the 1/1000 chance of it burrowing through my damn uterus, it wouldn’t affect my ability to procreate. Since she is actually a specialist instead of a clueless nOOb like my GP, I’ve decided to trust her. She was nice enough and seemed to know what she was talking about, at least.

She told me to come back with the IUD when Aunt Flo comes to town, and basically warned me not to get knocked up in the mean time.

Thanks for the handy tip, Dr. Gooch.

At least I didn’t have to take my pants off and get prodded by a plastic duck’s bill.

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48 thoughts on “Well, that wasn’t really worth the wait, was it?”

Augh! No! This doctor seems as bad as the last! What happened to *listening* to women? To letting us make our own, informed, independent choices about OUR bodies? You didn’t go in wanting an IUD; it’s incredibly disrespectful for the doctor to try to push one on you just because of her discomfort with diaphragms.

I know you’re kind of hamstrung in regards to doctor choice (there goes my partner, crowing about how there are indeed drawbacks to national health care), but perhaps you could get in touch with the folks at the Vancouver Women’s Health Collective? http://www.womenshealthcollective.ca/ I think you’re in/near Vancouver.

I found them listed as a resource on my local collective’s page, and if they’re anything like my local center, they’ll treat you with a lot more respect. (Of course, it could turn out that they’ve been taken over, and you’re already going there, and it’s a bad day for the feminist health movement. But still!)

*puzzled* I’m not hamstrung by doctor choice. I can choose whatever doctor I want. The doctors here do tend to have their hands full, because everyone goes to the doctor for the slightest thing (why not, it’s free!) so while there are always doctors around taking new patients, they tend to have space for a reason. Ironically, a walk-in clinic doctor is often better, but then you don’t have a continuous history in one place. They’re working on that, though – I think they’re going to start attaching medical records to our health number, so we can go anywhere and the doctor will have access to our history. I hope that happens soon!

Problem is, I’ve already changed doctors a couple of times and I’m sick of changing around. And from the talk I had with the gynecologist, pretty much no one will be able to give me a diaphragm, because it simply isn’t done any more. If the gynecologist’s office didn’t have the fitting equipment, I’m thinking that no other doctor will either.

This doctor was nice enough and respectful, but clearly baffled about why I wanted such an antiquated bit of equipment. *shrug*

This may actually explain why I looked up a clinic in Vancouver that declared itself a women’s clinic, and while they had lots of information on their site about abortions and IUDs, I didn’t spot anything about diaphragms.

I’m sorry – you’d said before that you can choose whatever doctor you want, but that most doctors are not taking patients, which seems to imply that you don’t actually *have* a choice. Your choices are limited by availability. This isn’t that different from what we have here; theoretically I have a “choice” of any of about 500 doctors, but most won’t take my insurance, so I actually get to choose between two insurance-approved options or the cash-only women’s clinic.

(My partner likes to point out when public health care has the same problems as America’s ridiculous system, because she wants to turn me off of the idea of emigrating to the UK – where she’s from. Public health care? I would have moved yesterday if I could have gotten her on the plane!)

It’s really frustrating that you can’t find someone who can help you with the option you preferred. It’s ridiculous that doctors have given up with older methods like diaphragms – I can’t think of a good reason except that the fitting takes too much time. Also, that they don’t trust women to use the thing properly – it seems like the IUD is seen as better since the expert gets to put it in, instead of the layperson. But it’s still your body, and you should have an actual choice! Argh. But I believe at this point I am projecting my issues with doctors on to your experiences, so I should stop. Thank you for letting me write on your comments!

if you’re against the IUD don’t get it. but if you feel comfortable with it i’m sure they’re safe. I’ve only heard the horror stories, but apparently everyone and their dog has one, so the 2 people i know that have had it adhere to or GROW THROUGH the uterus are like a minute percentage of users right? 🙂

you know the pros and cons, nobody needs to talk you into or out of this choice! it’s yours and yours only. the drs talked me into getting the script for Mirena; 8 months ago, the little paper with the horrible writing is still pinned up on my cork board. 🙂

my 2 cents… I just started the Nuva Ring. it’s my second period on it. I had INSANE pains in my pelvic area after Violette was born and got worse with the movement of my cycle, now on this little piece of plastic that makes it’s home in my vagina for 3 weeks out of a month, the pains seem to have calmed down…. i normally get intense cramps in my lower back and calfs before my period comes, and NOPE, no warning, just started…. so far (2nd day in) this period has been lighter, and less crampy than others… it is hormonal birth control, but you don’t have to remember to take it everyday, and it apparently has no wait time to be fertile again after removal. just a thought. i don’t remember why you can’t or don’t want to use hormonal BC, sorry:(

Huh. Well, who knew? (Apparently, all the medical people, but not I.) And you come back DURING your period to be fitted? Interesting. Didn’t know that, either. I LOVE your funny drawings!

I understand your reluctance to go back on hormonal BC. I didn’t really have problems on it, but I just don’t want to use it anymore. Ten years was enough. And, the breastfeeding no-no thing, too, of course. We’re sticking with the dreaded condoms for now, until we make a final decision about whether or not to go for a third. Not the funnest thing, but it’s the easiest for now. (And, well, if the Army keeps taking him away, it doesn’t really make much difference anyway. :P)

That really sucks. I fear a deployment. I know it’s inevitable, but I really, really dread it. All I can hope is that it’s far enough off that my kids will be more independent (note I did NOT say easier!) and hopefully both in school so I get breaks.

Probably. Exclusive breastfeeding is pretty basic birth control anyhow. Although really I am still basically exclusive as well, since Babby’s eating is haphazard and more for fun than for nutrients at this point.

* It hurt A LOT to put it in, perhaps because I have never been pregnant. I jumped off the table and fled to the nearest restroom in my paper gown and lay whimpering on the floor for an hour. I like being alone when i pain, go figure.

The doc didn’t warm me that I might get cramps and I didn’t expect it. It went away tho, felt better a few hours later.

* My periods got more crampy and more volumeous. Not too bad, but could be a problem for someone who already bleeds/hurts a lot.

* It hurts to take it out too. Enough that I couldn’t face put a new one in. I don’t get it, why not give the patient some painkillers? Do I have to hurt to be in charge of my reproductive health?

Can’t reassure you about the ability conceive once you take it out. I haven’t tried, not a state I want to achieve.

About diaphragms, I had of of those too. It’s OK. But yeah, lot’s of maintenance. Also I felt like an idiot because I was never sure I put it in quite right. There are um, “sponges,” which are sort of similar. They’re sold over the counter, cups the cervix, and are filled with spermicide. They’re hard to put in, in the same way, and they’re nasty (the sponginess is really uncool), but if you want to try it out there they are.

It’s supposed to hurt less if you’ve been pregnant, and the gyne said that it should be even easier for me since I had a vaginal delivery (if my cousins are reading this, I think they just died a little inside). But I was still told to take a bunch of ibuprofin before coming in. I hope I can arrange it for a Monday, then PH can take me and hold my hand. I’m not a fan of pain.

I’m just full of second thoughts today – when I had mine put in after two vaginal deliveries (one of a 9lb baby), the gyno had to peel me off the ceiling. It hurt so bad I nearly passed out. So yes, take ibuprofen, and have PH there not only to hold your hand but to drive you home afterwards. If hubby hadn’t come with me that day, I’d have needed to take a cab home.

Mine hurt like heck too… I don’t know why they don’t prepare people for the chance of that. From what I’ve heard, tons of people are totally fine with it – no big deal at all. I just wish I had been warned about the possibility of more pain so that I could make arrangements to take more/better painkillers and make sure someone was able to take me home. Having PH there to drive and take care of you just in case would be a good idea. …Of course, having said that, you know that if you do, you’re going to find out you’re one of those people who barely feels it. 😉

Weird I got mine 10 weeks post partum, definitely didn’t have a period yet.
I love my IUD (as much as it’s possible to love a foreign object up your hoohaa). No symptoms, I don’t feel it, don’t have to take any pills and the last period I had was Sept 21st 2008.

I’m very happy with my IUD, despite the drama of it’s beginnings. VERY bad cramping the day it went in, but the day after I was pretty much fine again. And it is SO nice to be free of the hormones. I’m with you on that one – they definitely messed with me too. It’s nice to have one less thing on your mind too. Birth control just isn’t something I have to think about anymore. And that’s nice. I had some pain the first couple of periods (which is pretty normal), but smooth sailing since.

Sorry you felt pushed, though. I hate it when doctors don’t listen. I seem to find that the kind of person who really sincerely listens well to what people are feeling and wanting is not often the same kind of person who becomes a doctor. Especially not a specialist (though there are some great ones out there).

And finally, I have to leave you the advice that pinkbrain gave me when I got my IUD, because somehow nobody thinks to tell you these things… There will be little strings in there. And they will likely be a little bit…um…stabby…for a couple of weeks or so, but then they will curl up out of the way and should be fine. I don’t think you’ll notice in the least. But you might want to warn Perfect Husband. 😉

You’re supposed to check the strings every period. Don’t freak out if you can’t find them tho, sometimes the hide behind the cervix.

One side effect of the IUD that I didn’t mention above was that my vagina got more, hmm, moist. I got a clear, odorless, rather thick discharge. It was a plus for me though, since I had had trouble with dryness.

I had mine put in during my period as well. It didn’t hurt TOO much, but I really appreciated the Advil and margarita afterwards 😛

If the strings are too “stabby” you can go back to your doctors to get the cut. Most doctors won’t trim the strings too close right away because the IUD can move “up” a bit and they don’t want the strings to get sucked in too. I was told to go back in 6 weeks to have it checked/trimmed.

I’ve also heard you’re not supposed to use tampons because they can get “caught” on the strings but my periods were so light it didn’t matter.

If you’re getting the Mirena, the hormones are supposed to last for 3-5 years, but mine were low after about 2.5 years and I had some cramping.

Tampons and IUD is fine. IUD and the little blood collecting cups? It says on the insert for the cup-things not to use if you have an IUD. I never tried. Later though, I experimented with pulling the IUD out myself, and it became clear there is no way the IUD will come out accidentally.

First off I had to use pliers to get a grip on the strings, they’re very slippery. Secondly, once you start pulling there is no mistaking what’s happening, it hurts and you’ll stop.

This is a fascinating post/comment-string… I tossed out the hormonal birth control in 2006 (It made me KAHRAYZEE), and then stopped using condoms when we started trying for Frances – After baby #2, I’m not sure what I want to try, but IUDs certainly sound interesting.

I know this is your decision and all, but if your doctor won’t fit you for a diaphram and you still think it’s the thing you want to use for BC, check out the sponge that Kagero mentioned. I know you don’t want to change doctors again, but use the time you’re trying this to look for a doctor who is knowledgeable in the area of diaphrams. However, if you try the sponge for a while and then come to find out that you don’t like it, THEN go for the IUD.

I’m a little irritated about the fact that your doctor won’t fit you for a diaphram. They are still an acceptable form of BC (according to my professor who just brought us through the unit of contraception and reproduction, but he could just be making that up…) so for her NOT to listen to you and your requests is quite strange.

In general, I’m quite disappointed that there have not been any advances in BC for men given the advances in medical technologies this century. You’d think they could come up with some kind of paired BC that would allow for less invasive procedures in the individuals, while preserving the health and well being of the parties involved!

I blogged about the bad part of my IUD experience, but the reason I’ve stopped mentioning it is because it’s fine now. I also didn’t have a particularly bad time having it inserted. I had some cramping afterwards but the insertion itself really wasn’t that big a deal.

I agree though that it’s crap no-one will fit a diaphragm. It’s one of those self-fulfilling prophecies: they won’t try it, so no-one gets them, so they don’t learn how to do it, so they advise not to get them… grrr.

I know it’s a bit late now, but couldn’t you ask if the doc fits diaphrams when you call to make the appointment? That way you can just work your way through all the docs in your area without having to physically go there.