9 Things 90's Kids Realize Now

A nostalgic look back at the 90's with our new found wisdom.

Yep, you read it right! Shredder's voice on the animated series should sound familiar because it's actually Judge Phillip Banks. If you watched both the Fresh Prince & Ninja Turtles and you never realized this, you are NOT alone! Just now discovering that Uncle Phil is the diabolical Shredder is what I'd imagine finding out at 22 that you've been adopted your whole life is like. Bad comparison, huh? Yeah, finding out you're adopted wouldn't be half as riveting.The Pink Ranger was one fine ass yummy. Rita Repulsa would throw her big wand and yell, â€œMake my monster grow!â€ while the Pink Ranger would wear those jean shorts and â€œmake our little monsters growâ€. She was responsible for many young fella's very first sexual thoughts. Unfortunately, the Green Ranger was bumping uglies with her. Don't believe me? Watch the episodes now, you can cut the sexual tension with a knife â€” or Dragon Sword.Watching the Lion King as a kid, Mufasa being killed in a stampede was the first time I'd ever seen tragedy strike. In the history of kid movies, has there EVER been a more unexpected, bummer of a death? I personally was pretty screwed up after this. I spent a good 3 weeks in a small depression, sitting in my room alone and not eating my Fruit Loops at breakfast. Disturbing Disney deaths would appear again 4 years later in Mulan when the villain, Shan-Yu would be blown up in a building full of fireworks and chunks of his burning flesh fell to a celebration below. Yeahâ€¦ And that's rated G. The morning after pill, whiteout, tape, glue, Ctrl+Z â€” these are some of the great quick fixes in the world. BUT, none of them compare to simply blowing. That's right, all it took was a huff, a puff and a blow into the cartridge and BOOM, it magically worked. Try blowing on your Call of Duty disc when it's scratched, see if it works any betterâ€¦ (heads up, it won't) There were some creepy moments on the show but two specific ones take the cake. First, there was an episode where Chucky keeps experiencing a series of nightmares. At the end of the show his father Chazz puts Chuck to sleep, enters the living room and sees a figure that appears to be Stu. When the figure turns around it has a distorted face and exclaims the infamous line, â€œI'm not Stu!â€ This FREAKED ME OUT big time as a kid. The second time was an episode where Angelica's parents told her they might be having a second child. Angelica then dreamed she was having a brother who was freakishly big and chased her around in what was another very eerie showing. For a cartoon that wasn't trying to scare me, Rugrats succeeded in doing so occasionally.The girl made a shrine dedicated to Arnold including a gum sculpture and that alone justifies my statement. But to elaborate further, she was constantly following Arnold around and cutting him down with insults, mainly referring to him as â€œfootball headâ€. Personally, I don't think it's just a crush. I see an aggressive, malicious, extreme fascination and realistically, Helga has psycho tendencies. If Arnold knew the potential level of danger he's in every time he hangs around Helga, I'm certain a restraining order would be intact. Maybe if she shaved her unibrow and stopped acting like a dude, Arnold would give her a second look. The shoes lit up. THEY F****** LIT UP! As a kid, if something lights up and it's not a lamp, it's automatically labeled cool. I remember feeling like a bad ass at recess, not because I had great confidence, but because my shoes had lights in â€˜em which made me better than you. Unless someone invents a shoe that dispenses ice cream sandwiches and plays Bob Marley every time you take a step â€” the LA Lights shoes will be second to none. Doug Funny put an undeserving Patty on a pedestal. That's right, Patty Mayonnaise is arguably the most overrated piece of cartoon ass that I've ever seen. Doug was always willing to do anything Patty wanted at the drop of a dime and I never understood why. I know it's difficult to judge a cartoon by her looks but there is a massive list of female cartoon characters that were far more aesthetically pleasing. C'mon, Doug â€” you're better than that. If you grew up in the 90â€˜s, surely you played & mastered Mortal Kombat. I don't mean to toot my own horn but I was a fierce competitor and tough match-up when it came to this game. Kids today have fighting games with nice graphics and fancy controls, which is cool BUT I could kick your ass with 4 buttons and an arrow pad â€” no control sticks necessary. Now-a-day I see a lot of button mashers prosper and it's really rasps my berries.

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There's only "Thumbs up" and a "Thumbs down" buttons.... what really needs to be here is the "SUPER thumbs up" button just for this article!!!! While it may not be the best written one I've read here it hit a few very key points and truths that appeal to those (like myself) who have experienced such a sense of nostalgia and the emotion behind it! I feel it's one of the 'BEST' articles on the site!Cheers!

Ahh I TOTALLY agree on the Rugrats thing infact I was just talking about that recently XD One episode in particular that gave me the chills was the one where Tommy was sick and he had these strange dreams. I could not bare to watch it anymore.

...yeah, you call me when you mention something like the slime monster from ghost writer who was the sum of all my fears in the 90s. Also rugrats could barely induce nightmares even if it tried for me. Not as much as Rock a doodle...(back then).

hoju: so true, you only ever get like 8 different people commenting... where do the rest come from, and how come we rarely ever hear from the mod of the site, come to think of it... ive been on this site for about 6 years... who owns it??

Just take a look at that epic score! There is no reason why every article on this site cant make 30's and higher. You people need to step your game up and start putting out quality articles again because retrojunk is getting stale. I am so glad this guy came and saved me from the crappy 3's and 4's and all the other near 10 articles.

i learned uncle phill was shredder from the nostalgia critic. and your not the only one that "I'm not Stu" scared shitless. as for the tommy and kimberly thing i knew that from the begining (which is why i named my hermit crabs after them when i was 10) great article

UPDATE: Okay, so here is the scoop. JD Franks never nailed the actress, but that doesn't mean that the characters never copulated outside the story line. What this means for your article is that there is sexual tension created in the writing and not a manifestation of the actors. I feel this builds your case even more. The sexual chemistry is purely between the characters. JDF never hit that...but the Green Ranger sure as hell hit the "pink"!!!Awesome article!!!!

Pretty cool site. The little, I'm assuming face book comments, with characters from Power Rangers and Home Alone are pure gold. And I pretty much agree with almost everything you had say. Except for the Disney innuendos.Sure everybody on Youtube posts the same clip of the priest's "boner", but does anybody bother to show the the aerial view not five minutes later, where any idiot can see it's clearly his knee? Of course not, because people love this shit and the truth is irrelevant.

Jason David Franks, AKA Green Ranger, lives and works over here in the Houston area. I see him generally twice a week. He is business partners with my good friend. Do you want me to ask him if he was hitting that? I can get a definitive answer for you and post it by tomorrow. Ha! Let me know.