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the days are getting shorter...

the sun is shining less. the night is creeping into my mornings. the sun is fading before the night arrives.

but the bigger i get, the bigger this baby gets, the more pregnant i get every day... i swear these days will never end. its as if they will last forever.

and the night is bringing little relief from the endless days. the tossing and turning and restless sleep makes the night seem as if it lasts forever.

every 24 hour period is an eternity in itself. and i am craving an end to these restless, uncomfortable, swollen, hot, days.

still i understand that these days are few left. these days of my life, my life with matthew and no one else. my life as i have always known it. and one day soon... after hours of unrelenting pain and a marathon of hard work...

i will open my eyes to a different world. i world where i don't matter as much, and a little bundle of warmth and tears means everything. a world much outside of myself. and i will be forever changed.

and my now seemingly endless days, will flash by with every blink. and i will wish that, for just a moment, they would slow so i could breathe it all in and relish in every passing moment. but they won't.

and i will look back at these last endless days of pregnancy as a gift. a gift that allowed me to receive one of the greatest gifts of all. and i will be thankful for these terrible, hot, swollen, uncomfortable, endless days. because it was because of them that i have my son. it is because of them, that i was forever changed.

Since I was a little girl, I wanted babies. And since I was a little girl, I was terrified by the birth. When I was pregnant of my little Léo, I told to my doctor that I WANTED la "péridurale", you know to avoid sufferance. I told him that I was very scared. He replies me :"Don't worry ... A woman needs 9 monthes to get prepared to give birth. You'll see ... At the end, days will seem to be so long and tiring, that you'll pray to give birth right now, immediatly !" ;-)I think of you, melinda Sue. Friendly,