Balance & Power, Inc. Newsletter

What happens when I think too much?

Overthinking feels helpful at times, but eventually it leads to negative thinking. Therefore, the more I honor my inner cues and take time-outs to relax-recharge, the less I overthink. When we overthink, judgments often become cloudy and stress elevates, causing spending too much time in the negative. It can become difficult to act.

Overthinking is something that can happen to anyone. But if you have a system for dealing with it (see below) you can at least ward off some of the negative, anxious, stressful thinking and turn it into something useful, productive, and effective.

10 Tips to Stop Overthinking

1. Awareness is the beginning of change. Any time you find yourself doubting or feeling stressed or anxious, step back and look at the situation and how you’re responding. In that moment of awareness is the seed of the change you want to make.

2. Don’t think of what can go wrong, but what can go right. In many cases, overthinking is caused by a single emotion: fear. When you focus on all the negative things that might happen, it’s easy to become paralyzed. Next time you sense that you starting to spiral in that direction, stop. Visualize all the things that can go right and keep those thoughts present and up front.

3. Distract yourself into happiness. Sometimes it’s helpful to have a way to distract yourself with happy, positive, healthy alternatives. Things like meditation, dancing, exercise, learning an instrument, knitting, drawing, and painting can distance you from the issues enough to shut down the overanalysis.

4. Put things into perspective. It’s always easy to make things bigger and more negative than they need to be. The next time you catch yourself making a mountain out of a molehill, ask yourself how much it will matter in five years. Or, for that matter, next month. Just this simple question, changing up the time frame, can help shut down overthinking.

5. Stop waiting for perfection. This is a big one. The moment you start thinking “This needs to be perfect” is the moment you need to remind yourself that waiting for perfect is never as smart as making progress.

6. Change your view of fear. Whether you’re afraid because you’ve failed in the past, or you’re fearful of trying or overgeneralizing some other failure, remember that just because things did not work out before does not mean that has to be the outcome every time. Remember, every opportunity is a new beginning, a place to start again.

7. Try structured “worry time”. Set a timer for five minutes about the same time daily and give yourself that time to think, worry, and analyze. Once the timer goes off, spend 10 minutes with a pen and paper, writing down all the things that are worrying you, stressing you, or giving you anxiety. When the 10 minutes is up, throw the paper out and move on–preferably to something fun.

8. Stop worrying!! Only 8% of what we worry about is legitimate. (Read More at the Balance & Power Blog)

9. Accept your best. The fear that grounds overthinking is often based in feeling that you aren’t good enough–not smart enough or hardworking enough or dedicated enough. Once you’ve given an effort your best, accept it as such and know that, while success may depend in part on some things you can’t control, you’ve done what you could do.

10. Be grateful. You can’t have a regretful thought or feel depressed and a grateful thought at the same time! Make a list of what you are grateful for and review it every morning and evening. Try having a gratitude buddy!

Are you distressed, angry, anxious from the US political campaign news?

The news is 24/7. This has been called the most volatile and distressing presidential campaign in our country’s history. It may even feel like you don’t want to avoid it…it’s almost like being drawn to a horrific accident that you tell yourself you don’t want to see…yet can’t seem to take your eyes off it. We may – as can be expected – feel immense fear, anger, sadness and grief that we can’t easily shake off. Continued Here

Have you heard?

I’ve recently developed and presented a full day organizational retreat!

“Researchers at Harvard Medical School have found that women with highly stressful jobs face a 40 percent higher risk of cardiovascular disease. The study defined high stress jobs as ones where the woman felt she had little creativity or power to make decisions, despite being expected to perform tasks quickly. Stress levels were often raised because it is quite common for women have several non workplace tasks, including caring for children and aging relelatives.” (Read the full blog at The Huffington Post)

To all my friends recently touched by destruction and dire circumstances, as our collective prayers, thoughts and actions aid recovery from Superstorm Sandy, and to all of my friends not in the New York Metro area, let’s remember we can always accelerate resilience in spirit with these simple steps:

• Set specific goals that are attainable. Take baby steps to get there when necessary.
• When you are feeling down due to personal circumstances, take stock of your strengths and positive circumstances and BE GRATEFUL!!• Surround yourself with positive people as much as possible.
• Do not read, watch or listen to the news if you become “too upset”.

You are the only one who can control your attitude. By focusing on what is strong and enduring and seeing potential, you can take calculated risks and overcome challenges.

It takes an open, creative mind free from anxiety to pick up on opportunities.

They are out there ready to be accessed by your positive and resilient radar!!

“Hope Springs” is an important relationship movie, not a “chick flick”. That’s this gal’s opinion… The actors take their time through the first half and we get it- the marriage isn’t working and hasn’t worked in many years. Meryl Streep’s role is very different from any I’ve seen her in previously and she does this part justice. I don’t want to give away the movie; I simply am stating that I agree, effective communication is the integral piece of any working relationship. If yours isn’t going well, then examine the communication (or lack of) and see if it’s about saying what you mean, expressing feelings, or simply relating well (empathetically, sympathetically) to your other. It may be about stepping outside your “comfort zone” to accomplish this. It may be about doing things differently or breaking habits. It’s always helpful to learn about other styles of communication and behavior so you will be able to relate better to each one. A long term relationship takes a lot of work, believe me, I know! I share a lot about this in my book, SOAR! with Resilience™ , as well as effective communication strategies. I facilitate on site trainings; a popular title is “Eliminate the Frustration From Your Conversation”. I also coach individuals and couples in Wantagh, Long Island and via Skype.

Explore strategies to release anger, reduce stress and deal effectively with others. Anger and communication issues are highly affected by stress levels. The best predictor of a positive outcome is your willingness to honestly examine and admit the consequences of your problem and actions and have the intention to change patterns. Your anger and stress impacts your relationships, health, work life and financial situation.

What people are saying about Eileen Lichtenstein

Success Coaching:
"After a recent incident in my life, I had the pleasure of working with Eileen Lichtenstein for a few weeks. This experience allowed me to focus on various events of my life, some of which were out of my control. She is knowledgeable, understanding and shows a great deal of compassion, also allowing me to reach some form of inner peace, despite the circumstances. Various relaxation techniques were introduced to me, which I will continue to take advantage of.

I cannot thank Eileen enough for her insight, encouragement and support. Overall it was a great experience, but a necessary one, to get me through one of life's obstacles".
Thank You, - Ron K., Rehab Therapist, Veterans Affairs Medical Center

Parenting Skills Program to Reverse High Stress Parenting

New! Parenting Classes Long Island NY. This program shares stress and anger management strategies and how to become proficient Active Listeners and Conflict Resolution Practitioners essential in our busy home lives today.