Monday, July 27, 2009

It was another day of nose-bleeder heights, and serious lows. It's late and I have a ton of work to do tomorrow, so I'll keep this short (or to about a normal blog post length for the general person, ;p ).

Woke up and went for a 2hr bike ride. That's right. 2hrs, outside, in nature. It was spectacular. I was thinking as I rode (and didn't fall, imagine that!) about all the intellectual sounding metaphors and parallels I could use here comparing myself to the forest/prairies, and theories about how my perspective of time morphs when I'm outside... Naaaaah. It ended up being my only major exercise for the day - save for two walks - but still, it burnt approx 1000cals, and THAT is not counting the death-hills that...cause death. The park I went biking in is shaped like a W. Seriously, so painful near the end because there is this great looming mass of HILL to get home and you're like, WHY GOD, WHY!?!

Or maybe it's just me.

At that point, I was running late and grabbed a Luna Bar (either that or an oatmeal bar,100 extra cals!). It wasn't until the bus ride that I realized that was all I'd had. Felt great! I maintained that at my friends house, drinking only some green tea, until her lovely mother decided to make homemade cinnamon buns. Okay, so there is moderation and then there are cinnamon buns. You can't refuse someones mom, especially because this was the friend, Oce, who knew I was trying to lose weight blah blah blah. Anyways, no cream cheese icing which is the real killer anyways. Went for adventures in the local park, chatted and bitched. It was good, despite the mass of carbs and sugar in my empty stomach. It was one of those two hours where you feel like... a failure, but are forced to maintain the smile... so tiring. On a snide note, I was on the see-saw with Oce, who's so hot and gorgeous and athletic, and even though I know she's so much more muscular than me... it felt good to be the one in the air.

Then, and this is the best part, my mom picked me up and we went to buy my camera. I ended up getting the Canon Eos Rebel XS for about 680$ with a 3 year warranty and whatnot. I. Am. BEYOND. Stoked. I've been interested in photography for years, and it really my one creative outlet... kind of like giving a painter a brand spanking new set of 100 colour paints to replace an antiquated set of 20. I'll post some pictures once I play a bit. The sticker shock is getting me a little, but how I've worked it out with the 'rents is that it's a loan for about 400$ (i'm paying 300$ upfront), a privilege for being on the honor roll, and I'll pay it back in monthly 50$ increments. Not so scary anymore.

Tomorrow I'm kind of scared for because I'm having a girls day with one of my gay friends. We're baking, watching chick flicks and talking - he just got dumped. THANKFULLY I persuaded him to forgo the ice cream cake (original plan) and we're baking some low-fat chocolate angel food cake instead, with strawberries. I'll bike the 20 mins to his house, and back, so that with maybe a rollerblade should do me ok.

Still maintaining an annoying 140. I think I'll go down tomorrow though, I didn't eat much after the bun, just a small piece of lasagna and a small pear. I feel dizzy.

Revitalize

About Me

I live in a perpetual grey-area. I struggle with perfectionism, EDNOS tendencies and depression. These are my ramblings, observations and desires. They are a reflection of what my real world will never know.