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I have always failed miserably at letting go. My brain is smarter than me, and it is only when things slip off it like shale that they are gone. Until then letting go has just been another kind of continuation. Things have to work through. A friend once said I could try "letting be" rather than "letting go". Can I sit with a difficult mind state as if it will never go away, and be whole and at peace with that?

Gassho
Daizan

As a trainee I ask that all comments by me on matters of Dharma be taken with "a grain of salt".

I was actually about to start a new thread thanking everyone in the sangha for their contribution to my practice, but I think it fits here just as well. There was something I was able to let go this morning that, if not for them, I would have buried my head in a pillow of dukkha!

I Can I sit with a difficult mind state as if it will never go away, and be whole and at peace with that?

Gassho
Daizan

Sometimes maybe. Our reactions to certain situations is so habitual
And our need for approval so ingrained that it is difficult to see the line between repression and letting go.
After acknowledgment and what am I going to do might come the letting go but it is a repetitive function.

I love the idealized zen stories of not moving mind but for me they are just ideals and motivation to practice.

I find that I repress and don't let go more often than not. Zazen has become quite intimate for that reason in the last few months- when I first began "just sitting" it felt contrived. Now it feels much natural but... it is showing me my natural obstacles I am not walking that delicate line well.

I have found that repression is an easier option for our ego to take, mainly as it prevents us from facing difficult issues which can involve painful feelings. But repression also empowers the ego....An I am bigger than this issue kind of thing.
I have found that letting go evokes these powerful feelings, but that when awareness has truly been focused on the origin, the reverberating habits the mind seems to produce through repression dissolve and release. Why this is so hard to do I have no idea and I have wasted so much of my life with my head in this state.

I am now left with an amazement that I let my mind carry on like this for so long! Why didn't anyone tell me about this sooner! Can I sue myself?

I have found that repression is an easier option for our ego to take, mainly as it prevents us from facing difficult issues which can involve painful feelings. But repression also empowers the ego....An I am bigger than this issue kind of thing.
I have found that letting go evokes these powerful feelings, but that when awareness has truly been focused on the origin, the reverberating habits the mind seems to produce through repression dissolve and release. Why this is so hard to do I have no idea and I have wasted so much of my life with my head in this state.

I am now left with an amazement that I let my mind carry on like this for so long! Why didn't anyone tell me about this sooner! Can I sue myself?

I agree. Repression confirms the ego. Letting go is the realization that one isn't the ego. Repression is just a form of control, but it's also a trap, a prison. Repression is delusion and often an unhealthy way of dealing with difficult and sometimes really awful and frightening things. I'm pretty expert at it and don't even know the amazement that I let myself carry on for so long. Still carrying on.

Also, as a side note, sometimes apathy can be mistakenly considered letting go, which is just as stupid, etc.

Sometimes maybe. Our reactions to certain situations is so habitual
And our need for approval so ingrained that it is difficult to see the line between repression and letting go.
After acknowledgment and what am I going to do might come the letting go but it is a repetitive function.

I love the idealized zen stories of not moving mind but for me they are just ideals and motivation to practice.

Sometimes maybe. Our reactions to certain situations is so habitual
And our need for approval so ingrained that it is difficult to see the line between repression and letting go.
After acknowledgment and what am I going to do might come the letting go but it is a repetitive function.

I love the idealized zen stories of not moving mind but for me they are just ideals and motivation to practice.

Hi Rich. Sorry for not being clear. .. the question was rhetorical. My own definite answer is yes, there has been no choice, that is my practice. Until I could sit with/as that I did not really open out. This is just my own experience and view.. and I am happy to be seen as wrong about it...it doesn't need others to agree.

BTW, I'm not talking about self imposed suffering.. sitting rigid and tough. I'm just talking about my actual experience as it is.

Gassho
Daizan

As a trainee I ask that all comments by me on matters of Dharma be taken with "a grain of salt".

I have always failed miserably at letting go. My brain is smarter than me, and it is only when things slip off it like shale that they are gone. Until then letting go has just been another kind of continuation. Things have to work through. A friend once said I could try "letting be" rather than "letting go". Can I sit with a difficult mind state as if it will never go away, and be whole and at peace with that?

Gassho
Daizan

Some days. Some days you will probably sit with a difficult mindset and know it won't go away no matter what. Those days I try to simply sit with it and remember that I'm not sitting for the mindset to go away, but to simply be. One day I will find that what bothered me isn't bothering me anymore, but I think it is because the part of me that was bothered may have had some small realization. The mindset is still there but my Mind is no longer set on being bothered by it.

The mindset is still there but my Mind is no longer set on being bothered by it.

Hi Heitetsu

The best I can describe it is that the whole present state of being is alone. Everything is alone at once, yet feet belong only to feet, feelings belong only to feelings, sounds belong only to sounds. Nothing is missing. Nothing has been subtracted. Everything is exactly the same, except that everything is alone. That aloneness transmutes the whole world, without changing it. There is no Dukkha.

Been pondering over this response.. seeing if it is possible to really express my experience.. which is probably a common experience.. and nothing really special. The description is junk in a way, posting it is junk, but it is the most precise I can do.

Gassho
Daizan

Last edited by Daizan; 03-24-2013 at 08:37 PM.

As a trainee I ask that all comments by me on matters of Dharma be taken with "a grain of salt".

The best I can describe it is that the whole present state of being is alone. Everything is alone at once, yet feet belong only to feet, feelings belong only to feelings, sounds belong only to sounds. Nothing is missing. Nothing has been subtracted. Everything is exactly the same, except that everything is alone. That aloneness transmutes the whole world, without changing it. There is no Dukkha.