Dr. Egad: Is that so there young fella. Well, don't you find that a bit odd?

Toad: Very.

Ring: Mmmmpphh

Pharaoh: Oh, forgot to attach his mouth.

Ring: It's about time you morons! I can't believe that you waited so long to attach my body parts, as a team we are supposed to do...*click*

Pharaoh: Never mind.

Ring: *mumbles angerly*

Dr. Egad: Well there. Did you know that your new Mansion is haunted?

Pharaoh: Haunted eh? That's just lovely.

Dr. Egad: Unfortunately I don't have any more Polterguest 3000's in my storage compartment, but I think he'll do just fine.

*Everyone looks at Dustman*

Dust: What?

Dive: Even though we all could just walk away from this, Ghostbusting does sound a bit fun.

Pharaoh: Speak for yourself.

Dr. Egad: Okay, time to add some adjustments to your hose there Dustman...

Dust: Uhhhhh...help.

*Dive writes*

Dr. Egad: Yes I'll also need Light Bulb girl too. But don't worry. *pulls out two syringes* With these, the operations will be a pleasant dream!

*Egad simply bashes Dust's and BB's heads in with a wrench and injects the two needles into himself.*

Dr. Egad: Oh yeaaahhhh....Let's get started.

*A few hours later...*

Dr. Egad: Perfect! That should do it.

Pharaoh: So how does all this work? Does BB stun ghosts with her light while Dust sucks them up?

Dr. Egad: What crap are you talking about? I just need a new lamp, and this house is a mess! Have you actually looked at this place?

BB: Hey! I dun wanna be yer slave!

Toad: Wait, what about this whole house being haunted deal? We need a Poltergust or something, man!

Dr. Egad: Hey, I need one too. If I had one, I wouldn't had to steal this guy from you. *points to Dust *

Dust: There must be something you got that can help us!

Dr. Egad: *shrugs* What do you want me to do? I'm retired. This is your problem.

Dive: Ah hell, this place's more trouble than it's worth. I say we leave and blast this burg into the Stone Age.

Toad: Ooh, I like that idea!

Ring: *jumps up and down excitedly*

Dust: Hey! Let's not nuke a perfectly good mansion!

BB: Yeah, all it needs is a liddle luv and some ghostbustin'! Right, Skull?

....

Toad: Skull? Where are you?

...

Pharaoh: Well crap. He's not here.

Dust: I was wondering why he hasn't said anything so far.

Ring: *reattaches his mouth* Hey Doc, you haven't seen a robot that looks like a skeleton, have you?

Dr. Egad: You mean him?

*Dr. Egad holds up a photo of Skull Man trapped in a painting.*

Dr. Egad: I don't remember where I found him. This mansion's pretty big and the rooms start running together after a while. Especially with these. *holds up the syringes*

Pharaoh: Do you know who did this to him?

Toad: Phbbbt. Probably the King Boo. This place is nothing if not predictable.

Dust: Say doc, could BB and I theoretically use our enhancements to bust a ghost or two?

Dr. Egad: Well-

Dust: Then it's settled! Now let's go rescue Skull!

Dr. Egad: Hey come back! This place ain't gonna clean itself!

*The six robots search a few of the halls on the first floor.*

Ring: We should've taken a left back there.

BB: A left WHERE? *points to a series of winding corridors*

Ring: ...Good point.

Dive: Well, I see the kitchen. I'm gonna grab me something to drink. Might as well search for Skull loaded.

*Dive opens the door to the kitchen, and a horde of zombified robots pile out. One of them tries to bite him, but he kicks it in the gut and runs back to the group*

Zombies: Brains! Brains! BRAINS! Tacos!

Pharaoh: What the-? Egad said nothing about zombies!

BB: C'mon! They're not that tough to take down!

*BB tries to use her flash stopper while Dust switches his vacuum on. However, the light bulb on BB's head explodes in a bright flash while Dust's vacuum clogs up and bursts, covering everything with odd junk that's he sucked up over the years*

Ring: Uh, does this mean I'm gonna die and turn into a flesh-eating corpse that'll eat you all? 'Cause if it does, awesome.

Dust: BB and I will see if Egad can patch us up!

Pharaoh: Take Ring with you and see if he's got a cure!

Ring: Aww! This is my lifelong dream! I can feel it taking effect already!

*Dust and BB run out of the hall, dragging Ring. After they leave, a transparent figure resembling a burn ward victim in a red and black suit appears*

???: Who's bad?!

Pharaoh: What the? That's not king boo...

Toad: A-doy! It's Micheal Jackson!

Dive: Okay...what the hell do you want with Skull Man?

Michael Jackson: Not a thing! It's you I'm after. I've been hired to kill you for stopping HIS marriage to HER.

Dive: Ohhhh....HIIIIMMM! I almost forgot about that asshole. Is HE still that pissed off?

Toad: Who are they talking about?

Pharaoh: Who knows, just run with it. *turns to Michal Jackson* Why did you capture Skull Man?!

Michael Jackson: *puts his hands down his pants* Well I had to do something to keep Dive Man from doing something stupid but effective like blow the house up. I first tried inviting children to a sleepover here and using them as leverage. But halfway through the sleepover, I realized Dive Man would still just blow up the house.

Dive: *shrugs* Yeah, basically.

Michael Jackson: That's where Skully comes in. If I had him trapped, I knew you'd never let Dive nuke the mansion. *raises his hands* But now it's time to play, children!

*The Juggernaut, The Hammer, The jackal, and the Angry Princess from 13 Ghosts appear in front of the three Comrades and charge full tilt at them*

Dive: ...Ooooh Toad, you're in big trouble now.

*Back at the citadel...*

Kalinka: So how's the novel coming?

Drill: It's going alright. But I kinda wish I didn't have to miss out on going to that mansion.

Cossack: Too bad everyone's gone. I could kill some time by upgrading the team with their new armor.

Drill: Back from "vacation" already?

Cossack: It's not all it's cracked up to be. *nurses a Katana stab wound*

Jay: You went on vacation without us? Asshole.

Drill: Where's Silent Bob?

Jay: Oh, he's makin' a delivery for me. I wanted to call my old girlfriend, Beth. ****doesn't stay touch anymore. I mean, what the hell! I helped her save existence! Doesn't that buy me anything?!

Drill: I guess not. Tough break. Anyway, couldn't I at least get upgraded?

Cossack: I was hoping to upgrade you all at once. But, their loss. Let me just grab the schematics and...

*Cossack opens the drawer where the schematics are kept, only to find it's empty.*

Dust: Hey! I built Omni all on my own before Ballade swiped him! I can handle this!

BB: ...'Kay I guess. Does Egad have any notes we could use?

Ring: Here's some. *reads* "Robot Engineering for Dumbasses?!" ...He's scribbled in most of the pages.

Dust: I don't need that hack's help! *opens a panel on BB's back and reaches inside* Here's the problem!

BB: Eeeeyeowwww!!

Dust: No....that's not it...*reaches deeper*

BB: GOD!! OH GOD!! THE AGONNNYYY!!

Dust: No wait, here we go! *reaches even deeper*

*BB's arm canon starts quaking and whirring louder and louder*

BB: Do sumthin'!

Dust: I'm scared to try anything else!

*Ring starts gnawing on BB's arm*

Ring: Hahaha! You're infected now too! In just a short while, you'll be a shambling, mindless corpse prowling for the flesh of your friends!

BB: Damnit, not now!

Dust: Yeah, seriously. Besides, I see some revivify six-packs on the shelf. Shouldn't those cure you?

Ring: *breaks the revivify bottles* No they won't! There is no cure!

Dust: Ohhhh boy...

*Later, in the attic of the mansion...*

Dive: Yeow, that was a close one.

Pharaoh: Yeah, that was some quick thinking, Toad. You saved our asses!

Toad: No sweat. But how are we gonna kill those things? We tried our weapons.

Dive: Yeah, that was a mistake. *shakes*

*As if on cue, Luigi steps out of a door wearing the Poltergust 3000*

Luigi: Hey, do you all know where Dr. Egad is?

Dive: *grinning evilly* Say, that's a nice Poltergust...

*A few moments later...*

Toad: That was a brilliant idea, Pharaoh!

Pharaoh: I know! We totally gave Luigi the wrong directions!

Dive: I wish I could see the look on his face!

All: Ahahaahaha!!

...

Toad: We should've taken his Poltergust, shouldn't we?

Pharaoh: Yeah...Did not think that one through...

*The remaining Comrades leave the attic, only to walk into the DRW on their way out.*

Sanity: Hey, we got this letter saying we won a free vending machine. Is this where we claim it?

*The Comrades quickly overpower a few of the DRW and steal their proton backs*

Toad: Don't worry! We will repay you!

Dive: Unless we can't find you, or if we forget.

Pharaoh: Now let's go rescue Skull!

*Back at the Citadel, Drill desperately tries to work on his novel dodges an occasional errant bullet as Dr. Cossack and Kalinka chase Jay in the background with AK47s, Molotov cocktails, and throwing axes.*

Kalinka: Hold still!

Drill: *reads* " '...until the handle breaks off, and you have to call a doctor to pull it out again...' Jesus gasped after they nailed him to the cross. Shortly after that, he did not stir. The End,"

*Drill sets the last page on top of his stack of finished pages*

Drill: Ahhh, it's finished.

*Suddenly Jay collapses in front of Drill, clutching his arm.*

Jay: C'mon, Black Decker boy! Help me out!

*Drill just shoves him aside and idly thumbs through his pages*

Jay: Man, I don't wanna go out like this. Capped by Polly Pocket...

Kalinka: *reloads her AK47* Any last words?

Jay: Yeah, why the ****are you all so ****pissy? I've still got those papers if you want them!

Kalinka: What?! You said you used them to make your drugs!

Jay: Yeah, but I never said we USED them!

Cossack: Why didn't you say so earlier?

Jay: Why didn't you ask instead of trying to blow my head off?! What the hell?! Can I go get them without you capping me?!

Cossack: Sure, I guess. But I also want you to delete all but ten pieces of that smut on my computer!

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