Moms In College

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Baby due during the semester

laring10 wrote:

Hey everyone! I'll introduce myself first...I'm Laura, 21, and this is my first child. My husband and I are VERY excited! However, I am also nervous about a few things and wanted to see if anyone had been in a similar situation.

In September, I'm starting my fourth year of college (almost done!). My baby is due Feb. 22, which is about a month after the start of second semester. Delivering and having the baby home is stressful enough without having to worry about contacting professors, but I am not quitting school or putting it off any longer! My husband works second shift so he'll be home with the baby all day allowing me to go to school.

Has anyone else survived this situation? LOL! I don't know how to go about warning professors, or if I should go to school the week I'm due (I commute from about an hour away), or when to go back after having the baby? Did anyone have professors that were leanient enough to give them a few extra days off?

So many questions, I know. Just hoping someone with experience has a little advice. Thanks all!

@laring10 I have the same worry.. I'm due January 13th, which is the day after the semester starts. I'm hoping LO is a couple weeks early, but obviously that isn't much of a plan. I just hope that all of my professors are understanding, and I'm going to try to take some online courses if that is at all possible. It's going to be the second semester of my second year, and I really want to finish school.. I just hope that everything works out. I'll cross my fingers that things work out for you and wish me luck!!

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laring10

@jegiordano Definitely GOOD LUCK! Online courses are a good idea! My husband works two jobs and does the online college and still has time for pretty much whatever! Its a good idea to supplement some online with regular classes!

B

BusyBeeMommy

@laring10 Hi there! I had a baby girl last September, about 3 weeks into my semester. I emailed all my professors before classes started and let them know my situation. I also went to meet with them in person because I wanted to make sure they knew who I was. I took the week off before she was due because I was on bedrest and then two weeks off after she was born. All my professors were very understanding and helpful.

I took 3 classes that semester- two on campus and one online. I finished one class and my two other professors allowed me to take incompletes and finish on my own. It was very difficult to keep up in my classes because I experienced severe postpartum depression. So, that is one thing to watch out for. Just make sure you have a very good support system in place. Make a time schedule and hold yourself to it. Don't try to do homework and care for the baby at the same time: it will NOT work. As a Mommy of 2 and going to school for my PhD, I have been doing this a long time and that is the key. Budget time for both, but not together.

Good luck ladies, not only is it possible, but very rewarding as well! :)

~Kimberly

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laring10

@BusyBeeMommy Thanks for all the info! Sounds like you are a pro at this! :-) I'll have to work on budgeting time!!

Thanks again, very helpful!

s

snhanson

@laring10 I am going to school as well and am due Oct 17th right smack dab in the middle of the semester. I am a little worried as well because I work full time and go to school. I am afraid I wont have time for everything. I dont want to put off school cause I know I will just put it off forever. I cant quit my job because I am the main source of income for our family. My husband is also going to school and working. He is trying to finish school as fast as possible so that I can quit working and just go to school. He has 2 years left though. I am afraid of failing my classes because I will get my financial aid taken away if I do. Do colleges have some sort of policy set up for maternity leave or something?

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laring10

@snhanson I've been trying to search my school's website for anything about maternity leave for students, but I'm not having any luck. I'm thinking though it is kind of grouped into "medical leave"?? Maybe the same policies will apply to pregnancy?? The policy probably varies from school to school. I'll let you know if I find any information out.

Wow! You're brave! I'm due about a week before the semester starts (January 2nd) and I am deffiantely not planning on going to spring classes. I only have 12 credits left so I don't think it will be a big deal for me to finish in the fall.

I did have a friend who went to school while she was expecting. It was hard for her to get around and she was pretty tired all the time but I think if you have the determination you can do it. She actually went into labor during her last final.

M

Mommyof3boysnagirl

@laring10 I can say that I haven't delivered in the middle of a semester, but am in the same predicament in my spring semester. Both my husband and I are full-time students. I think that if you are able to get in touch with you professors ahead of time and get to "know" them, that they should be fine. I find at my school that as long as there is open communication with my teachers/professors that they are pretty understanding. I hope this helps.

Kelly-

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Chass63

@laring10 I'm in the same position as you. I'm due Feb 8th. This is my thrid baby, and with my first two I took a semester off each time. I just can't do that agin. I'm graduating in May (like you) and don't want to postpone graduation. Besides, I am hoping to start a Master's nursing program the following January, so in order to get into the program I'll need to finish up the B.A. on time.

I've had an infant and done the papers, reading, homework, exam thing before.. It really isn't that bad. It's bit tiring at the end of the semester when you realize you haven't slept for more than 3 consecutive hours in over four months. But it goes by sooo fast that it really isn't that bad. Not to mention that your so sleep-deprived that it doesn't really occur to you that you're living an insane life! (Haha, sorry.. don't mean to scare...) And as far as keeping up with the work, I've maintained a 3.8 so I guess it really just depends on your determination.

The thing I worry about most is finding someone to keep my two youngest while I'm in school. My oldest is 6, so he's in school all day. As of now, my 2-yr-old goes to day care 2 or 3 days a week while I'm in class. But not only can I obviously not put a literal newborn in daycare, I wouldn't do it if I could. It killed me to put my then-16-mo-old in day care for 2 days a week last spring, but I had no other choice. Next spring, it wouldn't make sense for me to hire a babysitter/nanny for the new baby and leave my two-year-old in daycare... So I'm looking for someone to keep them both at my house (where does one find such a person, who is affordable, speaks English, and does not have a criminal record?). I wish I had close family who didn't work! My husband works a regular 9-5 (actually it's more like a regular 7a-7p, but I won't go there...), so I'm totally jealous of your second shift situation.

Sorry about all the rambling! Good luck!

m

mommyof32b2010

@laring10 Hello, i just wanted to reasure you that you and your husband will be fine. First of all have a plan -who will wake up with the baby at night? -have diapers and wipes set along side the bed. buy those little containers so you can set aside baby formula(if you dont breastfeed). a word from the wise explain everything twice to hubby about the baby(they forget stuff) dont worry about baby if you've told daddy everything you know parenting. Again you guys will do great as a first time parents. And what ever you do DONT DONT DONT push schooling back for baby, she needs your education more than you do.

My 3rd LO was bron Sept 08, and I was taking 2 grad classes that semester. It was very difficult for me. I spoke to my adviser before hand and he recommended the classes and spoke to the profs-1 understanding, 1 pretended to be understanding. I had to drive 45min out to school 2 days per week, 1 class Monday night and 1 tues night. In all i missed 2 weeks. BF was tough. If you're planning on BF I'd recommend taking a pump w/you. DH helped out as much as possible but at times it still didn't seem like enough, b/c I was exhausted. My final thought, it can be done but be sure to have many helping hands around(in addition to dh) b/c he'll eventually get ehausted as well. HTH

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kinsella82

Wow ... everyone has so much to say on this topic. I too am going back to school this year for the first year of a 3 year course, and my little one is expected to enter the world at the end of March, and my second semester exams will begin within the first few weeks of April and I am just a little nervous as to how it will go. My husband plans on taking time off work next fall so that I can continue my education next fall ... the best laid plans ... I am certain that our plans will change between now and then. However, I am not giving up my school and I know it wont be easy, but it will be worth it in the end ... after all, I wanted to go back to school, so that I could better my life, in the event of this happening and this way I still can.

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jeabenne

@laring10 Hello! My baby is due right smack dab in the middle of this coming semester, which is my third semester of graduate school. When I found out I was pregnant last spring, I totally freaked out. I thought I'd have to quit school, at least for a while. I have no idea what to expect, since this is our first baby. I know it will be a lot of work, and that I might want to take a break from school. However, I've been wanting to go back to school for so long, and I know I will be disappointed in myself if I don't finish, and I know that in the end finishing school is best for my family.

I talked to all my professors last Spring, as soon as I knew that I was pregnant. A lot of them are very supportive. We decided the best thing for me to do would be to take independent research hours and professional development hours. This way I could do work on my own, at my own pace, without the structure of a class or syllabus to follow. I signed up with my advisor, who has promised to be flexible with me. I also got a job at school that is computer oriented, so I can work from home now. I think this fall will turn out okay- its next Spring I'm worried about. Going back to taking 9 hours of classes (that is full time in Grad school) plus working, plus trying to breastfeed and everything, I'm quite nervous. School takes a lot of time and focus, but I know with the support of my faculty and my husband that everything will be okay.

So, my advice is to just be open and talk to your profs. Try to find professors who are understading and will be flexible, and sign up with them. If you can, try research hours or professional development hours, which are really flexible. Online classes are pretty flexible, too. You can always take an incomplete, but try to avoid that if possible. I've known so many peple who have taken incompletes then regretted it, because it can be pretty hard to find time later to finish the class, as well as motivation!

For the first few weeks after birth, look into medical leave. Most universities don't have maternity leave for students :(. I'm taking four weeks off. If you are employed with the university, look into FMLA.

Good luck!

M

Mommy2BaileyBoo

@laring10 I'm in the same boat. I start school next week for fall semester (@ 30 weeks) and I'm due October 31st. Luckily I'm taking 3 online courses and 1 short night course. However it is going to be extremely tiring and lots of hard work to pull off finishing this semester and raising a newborn. My bf works as a server so he'll be switching around his schedule to help and give me time off of the baby and more time for school. Hopefully it all works out, especially for you. Be sure to talk to your professors and let them ahead of time and they'll be more than glad to work around that. I mean, we're not the first women to be pregnant during college right :)~ But good luck w/ school & also with the pregnancy!!

j

jessisthebest

@laring10 Hey! I started clases last week and Im due at the end of September so when I got my syllabi, if any major assignments/tests had the possibility of conflicting with my due date I informed my professors o make arrangements. They have all been understanding of that, but I would not expect professors to be understanding JUST because we're giving birth. Most of my professors Ive had since Freshman year so that helped, but I was warned repeatedly not to expect any special treatment.

C

Carron86

@laring10 I gave birth during the semester and it wasn't that bad at all. I discussed everything with the professors early on and none of them had any complaints. Most were supportive and told me to take as much time as necessary to recover. I did most of my homework while in the hospital and while I was still recovering at home. I was only taking two classes that met once a week so I only ended up missing a few days. It sounds somewhat complicated, but just take it day by day.

The semester starts next monday and I'm getting induced next friday lol. Write your professor an email before the semester even begins, explain that youre more motivated than ever, at most you promise to not be out more than a week, but that your education is the most important thing for you and your family. Go to school the week your due, cause you never know when babies will come... they could come 1 month early or 2 weeks late.. you never know! Professors are extremely understanding when it comes to young mothers and their education. And talk to your obgyn about possibly setting up a date to be induced on a friday so you can have the weekend to recooperate.

Let your professors know as soon as possible so that way it gives you and your professors time to come up with a solution. I gave birth in April with two more weeks of school left and my original plan was to just keep going because i only had two more weeks, right. But i just couldn't do it once i had my daughter. I was exhausted from getting up all hours of the night to breastfeed, my breasts were hurting and my nipples felt like they were on fire for the first week. Not to mention the amount of emotional changes I was going though. i think i cried every day, lol. However, if you are intent on going right back to class after u have your baby just make sure you have a lot of help from your husband, a nanny or someone else you trust to help take care of your little one. I guess what i'm trying to say is make sure you are completely prepared beforehand. I let my professors know at the beginning of the semester and once the time came my professors decided that it was best i just take an incomplete and they would give me a grade once i finished my projects they had assigned. i finished everything over the summer and am now starting the fall semester. Oh, and make sure you get a pump if you are going to breastfeed, a car charger or battery pack for the pump so that you can do it at school or in your car, and lots of breastpads. It only took an hour for my boobs to] fill up after being emptied and i would soak through breastpads like no other. Just prep, prep, prep!

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shesmyheart09

@laring10 Hi. My best friend went through that situation last fall although she is a single mother so it was probably a little more difficult than your situation, but she managed to get through it and she is still in school while her son will be a year old in october. I went through the similar situation as you this past January. My baby was due January 27th and the semester started on Jaunary 20th. I didn't want to not take classes but I didn't want to leave my newborn daughter either. I elected to take a full load of courses at the community college in my city because my university didn't offer the courses I needed for online coursework. For me it was a tad bit difficult at the beginning but like anything else, once you get into a regular schedule with the baby and everything else required of you at home it gets a lot easier. I just started this semester back at my university with in person classes as I call them. It seems to be working so far. Best of luck to you!!!

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