I’m always intrigued by the old advertisements that said, “Heinz: 57 Varieties.” What made them decide they couldn’t wait until they got to 60?

I was sitting in a meeting and I looked down at my cup of coffee and it made me wonder: I’m trying to wake up for this???

Do restaurant servers get a bonus for bringing my dinner back to the kitchen before I’m done eating, or do they keep asking if I’m finished as a subtle way to comment on my weight?

I had nothing to do at 3:30 one day, so I tuned into Jeopardy like I did in college. The first ads I saw were for Stair Lifts and Medicare supplements. Clearly, college students are getting older and older.

Why are they called May flies and not Today flies?

Web developers could make my life much less frustrating if they’d remember to put the cursor in the sign-in box. Seemingly half the time, I click the “sign in” tab and begin typing in my email or user name and then find nothing is happening, because the cursor isn’t blinking where it should be. My life is very, very hard.

If I can't reach a human being when I am trying to buy something, I know I’ll be stranded if there is a problem later.

If you really need to put your life in perspective, sit for an hour in a hospital lobby.

If the waiter comes to you as states, "YOU are finished, right?" then it is directed at your weight.... Maybe, "You ARE finished, right, maybe the same implied meaning.... forget it.

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Jim Brasher

5/13/2018 08:00:15 pm

Love number 7 and you know it is absolutely true!

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David Brimm

5/14/2018 09:48:09 am

Another witty take on life from the one and only Michael Rosenbaum. Looking forward to your next observation.

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David Riley

5/14/2018 11:26:11 am

Really funny stuff. There's a book that was published years ago that listed the top 100 sayings of the year. I hope no one who wrote that book reads the blog and sues you.

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michael rosenbaum

5/27/2018 04:38:03 pm

Should not be a problem. I don't read any books and only respond to the voices in my head at night.

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Mike Regan

5/15/2018 12:04:07 am

Great wit and wisdom. One other thought. "Just because your paranoid doesn't mean that the world isn't out to get you. How are you doing on the Ab challenger?
Cheers

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michael rosenbaum

5/27/2018 04:39:35 pm

Since I didn't see my abs on Groundhog Day, we are expecting another six months of flab.

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Carl

5/16/2018 09:34:53 am

ThTs why I don’t drink coffee

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Who writes this stuff?

Dadwrites oozes from the warped mind of Michael Rosenbaum, an award-winning author who spends most of his time these days as a start-up business mentor, book coach, photographer and, mostly, a grandfather. All views are his alone, largely due to the fact that he can’t find anyone who agrees with him.