relationship support

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disrespect my partner in any way shape or form.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disrespect my partner and think that she is tough and she can take it. Disrespecting her through by the way I speak to her with my tonality being ‘short’ and ‘impatient’ and ‘she should know this’ I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be more understanding, forgiving, caring and supportive towards my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not really care for myself, applying a care and support and respect for myself that if given to the world, there would be world peace and the world would be a place of compassion where all were supported to live to their utmost potential, so I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to care for myself in this way, and so thus to have allowed myself to disrespect myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always assume that I am right when it comes to me and my partner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I am not reacting, than I have did nothing wrong and in this do not really stand in my partners shoes to see what she sees or consider her perspective.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place myself as number one in my agreement with my partner instead of standing equally together with her where I consider her position equally as I do my own.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to practice compassion towards my partner. Compassion being to care for my partner in a way that would nurture the utmost expression of life. I commit myself to assist and support myself to practice caring for my partner so that I can learn from this how to care for myself.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to respect my partner and to practice respecting my partner, here GIVING The Respect and Care to my partner that I would want Myself to Give to Myself.

I commit myself to push myself to be more caring towards my partner where this care can be seen in how I interact and communicate with her, where I do this unconditionally not to get a response but rather so to learn how to actually care for life.

Last night I had a reaction come up in relation to my partner. I have seen this particular kind of reaction come up before and so now see this as a pattern that I’d like to correct.

My partner and I were interacting last night and suddenly she had a reaction in relation to something I did, and then I reacted to her reaction.

In that moment I immediately pulled back into myself and proceeded to give her the silent treatment. So with the behavior of this reaction what I normally do is I become more quiet and less communicative with my partner and I start refusing to do what we normally do in our nightly routine. So for instance we were making coffee when I reacted and so then after the reaction I told her that I don’t want coffee now and so I just went into the bedroom and started watching something on my computer.

I felt hurt by her reaction and I felt like it was ‘unjustified’ and ‘she has no right’.

Though within myself I realize that ‘a reaction is a reaction’ and of course people do not have a right to exert their own emotional surges onto others, yet it does happen and so what I require to do is to go to unconditional forgiveness immediately.

But I have noticed I don’t do this, and instead I will go into a reaction In a way where I start to manipulate my partner, like trying to make her feel bad, or feel like she did something wrong. So I end up doing what I am blaming her for doing in the first place.

What I should be doing is supporting myself to not allow such reactions within myself.

Because then this whole emotional manipulation game starts where there is like this silent argument and game of trying to win playing out. I try and win by making my partner feel responsible for me and how I feel, when I understand I am my own responsibility.

I did feel hurt when she had her outburst/reaction towards me and then I got angry, and my experience of the reaction is like it ‘locks in’ right in my chest area. And then last night I went into my room and just sat in this reaction and just completely inverted into myself and shut down and kind of just sat there fuming and refusing to engage with my partner.

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my own reactions in relation to my partners reactions where I think we must be equal in our standing so if she goes into a reaction than this gives me permission to then also go into a reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play out the behavior of the reaction of ‘shutting down’ where I will literally physically stop talking and engaging with my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hopeless within myself when a reaction like this ‘locks in’, hopeless in that I feel like there is nothing I can do to snap out of it and that a part of me also, does not want to snap out of it because I want her to pay for what she has done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by energy within me where for instance if I perceive someone exerting themselves out onto me then I will want to also do the same to them to get even, and so become gripped by this experience of wanting to get even, and wanting to exert my experience of anger and of feeling hurt that I initially experienced when they reacted towards me, out onto them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the application of “an eye for an eye” and simply not want to unconditionally forgive someone or myself, but rather experience that the only way for me to release myself from the reaction that I had is to ‘get back at them’ to ‘do the same thing to them as they did to me’ or to ‘make them feel bad for what they did’ and here I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to utilize Self Forgiveness to release myself from the entire emotional manipulation game and emotional balancing act that I have subjected unto myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer revenge as an equalizer instead of forgiveness.

Self Commitments

I commit myself to assist and support myself to utilize Self Forgiveness as an Equalizer and Release instead of Revenge and doing unto another what they did unto me.

I commit myself to realize that SELF Forgiveness is necessary because the reaction taking place is inside SELF, thus SELF Forgiveness to release the reaction/experience/point within me.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to realize that by wanting to get revenge onto another for some harm that I perceived they did unto me, that I am accepting and allowing myself to disempower myself within who I am because I am accepting and allowing myself to give my emotions and feelings and energy experiences power over me and for them to dictate who I am and what I do where for instance I would be compelled to get revenge or take my experience out on another instead of moving to Self Forgiveness which is the living expression of common sense because to forgive is more supportive than to act out in revenge and attack another emotionally and so common sensically that is the best solution.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to take Responsibility for my own reactions as the energy experiences I have moving within me and to stop accepting and allowing myself to blame my partner for these energy reactions and movements taking place within me, which disempowers me to actually take responsibility for them and direct them/myself.

I see, realize, and understand that my experience is my responsibility. I also see that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my relationship as an excuse for not taking responsibility for every single iota of energy experience/reaction within and as me where in my relationship I have accepted and allowed myself to often blame my partner for the experience that is coming up within me, whether that be frustration, irritation, anger, or hurt, and so I commit myself to assist and support myself to start TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for MYSELF within MY Life and no more accept and allow myself to abdicate this responsibility through by blaming my partner for being the reason and cause of my experience when I see that this is not the case, and so here I commit myself to start STABILIZING myself within and as myself and my life and to stop accepting my current state as the ratio of ‘self responsibility to blame and excuse’ and to start moving this ratio into 100 percent Self Responsibility no more accepting and allowing myself to justify reactions with the statement “but you reacted first” or “you’re the reason I reacted” I commit myself to take responsibility for MY OWN EXPERINCE no matter what I perceive my partner doing or what I perceive her experience is

I commit myself to see, realize, and understand that I have actually created some instability in my life through by accepting and allowing ‘exceptions’ to the rule of 100 percent responsibility.

I commit myself to shore up these exceptions and support myself to move myself out of reactions that emerge within me where I move myself out of them and to stop participation within them as a point of taking 100 percent Self Responsibility for myself.

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I have just arrived back home after being gone for a week which included a 3 day, 30 hour drive across the country. I had traveled to the US to help my partner (and her 2 cats) with relocating to Canada to live with me. Her and I have been in a long distance relationship for the past 2 years and have now (finally) moved in with each other.

Doing the long distance relationship was something that I had never done before in the way that her and I did it. Over the last 2 years we spent around 2 months together in total when you add all the visits we had together.

So it has been quite a journey for the both of us and there was so many times during the past 2 years where I doubted if it would ever work out. So if anyone out there is in such a position where you are venturing into the long distance relationship territory, I will say that it is possible to make such a point work.

So now I am entering a new phase of my life, and my partner as well as we are now coming together and living in the same environment.

The journey we have walked so far has not been like a normal relationship. We have both been walking the Desteni Process for some time and so the principles with which we have established our relationship has been in alignment with the Desteni Process which is the journey to life as the purpose of creating a world that is best for all.

The principles and tools that walking this Self Realization Process has provided is from my perspective the reason why our long distance relationship worked, where if one is simply following the pre-programmed relationship rules, a long distance relationship may not work.

As I write this, I am looking at what was the single most beneficial principle that supported with walking the long distance relationship point. I see that all the principles working in tandem together is what ultimately facilitated the point, though to name one thing, Id say the FOCUS ON SELF was quite supportive.

This is quite interesting isn’t it. That the point that supported the most in forming an effective relationship with another person is the point of FOCUSING ON SELF, or the Relationship one has with Oneself.

There were times during the long distance relationship phase where Id get a bit distracted and want my partner to full-fill me, to entertain me, or be a distraction for me where I could just go on Skype and chat with her and escape from my reality. But the fact that our relationship was long distance always left me alone with myself after our chat was over and through time I learned to identify a specific experience of “feeling unfulfilled” after chat as an indication that I must bring my attention back to myself and rather than looking “out there” for my fulfillment, that I rather must look at myself and look at my own Process and how I am walking and ask myself the question AM I SATISFIED WITH ME and my application. And so as we walked our long distance relationship, this focus on SELF was important because if you are not satisfied with yourself, you will never be satisfied with the relationship.

So this focus on self was a very supportive point for when ever things were going tough and we reached a point where we both would kind of realize “Ok our attention is drifting away from ourselves, and so we must ‘get back to ourselves’” in terms of making sure we are both working on our individual processes first and foremost, and then from there expand into the relationship which was the long distance relationship we were walking.

So after 2 years, were are here together now in the next phase of our journey together, walking our individual processes side by side as Equals supporting ourselves and each other to live and create to our utmost potential.