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Story highlights

Two in three 13-year-olds worry about gaining weight, according to study

Girls are bombarded with "superskinny" images, a women's advocate says

The best advice to parents, per psychotherapists: Never say "Do I look fat?"

Seven years ago, Dawn Larkin-Wallace, a mom of three, took up running to lose that 10 to 20 pounds of baby weight that just wouldn't go away.

She figured once she dropped the weight, she'd be off the treadmill.

What she could have never imagined is that she'd become a marathon runner who inspired her three children to start running, too.

"We're just a running family," said Larkin-Wallace of Baldwin, New York, who is part of the running club Black Girls RUN!, a national group encouraging African-American women to make health and fitness a priority.

First, Larkin-Wallace signed up 15-year-old daughter Kayla, a high school sophomore, for a race after realizing that the amount of running she did during her soccer games was the equivalent of a 5K.

With the "positive peer pressure ... and the competitive spirit" that exists in the Wallace household, she said with a laugh, "of course, her brother and sister decided that that's something they wanted to do, too."

Larkin-Wallace said her goal is for "healthy living to become a lifestyle and not just a fad" among her kids, who also play a range of sports from basketball to soccer to lacrosse.

Photos:Healthy living tips for teens

Photos:Healthy living tips for teens

iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – Cherry Cheng, a mom of two, says her daily exercise has rubbed off on her kids, including her 5-year-old daughter, Dora, who likes to do yoga and dance with her mom. "I don't tell them what to eat (and) what not to eat," said the Arcadia, California, resident. "They learn from (us)."

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Photos:Healthy living tips for teens

iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – Jenni Conner of Santa Maria, California, and her 9-year-old daughter, Skylar, do a combat fitness program together at home every night. "I don't have to ask, she wants to do it," said Conner, a mom of two. "She has lost weight and built muscle. ... It's all because she watched her mom and chose to follow my lead."

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Photos:Healthy living tips for teens

iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – Michael Joe Frausto Jr., a single father in Knox City, Texas, took up running as a way to spend time with his two kids, including his 10-year-old son, Michael Joe Frausto III, who did a 5K race with his dad. "I've always instilled in both children (that) with effort, so much more in life can be accomplished," he said.

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iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – "One of the most important things I can think of to get one's children to eat right is to cook at home," said Donna Gerepka of Timberlake, North Carolina, who said she almost always cooked at home when her two girls were growing up, including 22-year-old Sherri, pictured here. "Both are healthy, normal-weight adults now who cook for themselves and know what are wise choices when dining out."

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iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – Elisa Brooks of Mill Valley, California, talks to her 15-year-old daughter "gently and daily about establishing a healthy lifestyle now, because this is the groundwork for life." "When she leaves the gym, she is glowing and happy," said the mom of two.

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iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – James Prichard, a former stay-at-home dad in Oak Grove, Oregon, said there is no way to "ensure kids are getting a healthy lunch or breakfast unless you pack it yourself." So that's what he does. They now have their own chickens for eggs and built a cider press so they can freeze apple cider and have it throughout the year.

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iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – Tired of watching her high school students "scarf down Hot Cheetos with a Pop-Tart" for breakfast, Jessica Whiteside of Canton, Michigan, started buying fruit for her classroom. She now has a fruit basket on her desk at all times, spending from $50 to $80 a week "feeding her classroom." "Many students stop by on their way to other classes to grab a snack," she said.

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iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – Jessica Abalos, mom Marcus and Sabrina, ages 10 and 11, doesn't buy things that are "bad" for her kids: no sodas, candy, cereal or chips. "The moral of the story is, your family will eat healthy if you only buy healthy. When there is nothing left to eat, they will be forced to eat healthy or starve," said Abalos, of Dania Beach, Florida.

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iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – Julia Dunst, a mom of five in Reading, Pennsylvania, says that for years, they had no TV at home, and physical activities have always been part of their lives, including running, walking, volleyball, even push-up contests. "We challenged ourselves and the children. ... It was part of the fun."

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iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – Jennifer Hunt says she talks with her 13-year-old daughter, Julianne, about food and exercise almost every day. "She and I talk about performance more than exercising as a workout. In other words, what does she wish she could do physically? And how will she get from here to there?" said the Little Rock, Arkansas, mom of three.

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iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – "Everything in moderation" is what Kimberly Summer Denitz of Santa Barbara, California, tells her two kids, Sadie and Travis, ages 11 and 13. "Sure, I make a mean batch of double-fudge ding-dongs, but I'll give them a hefty helping of green beans with their baked chicken beforehand."

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iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – Gabriela Gilner, a mom of three, says bad food is a "treat" in their house. "My 7-year-old (Brent) asked the other day: 'What is a Twinkie?' " said the Virginia Beach resident. "I turned around and looked at my husband, and yes, I felt proud as a mother."

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iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – Alena Payne's idea to keep her kids, Ariana and ShyAnne, ages 10 and 14, on a healthy track was to toss out the scale. "I caught my oldest on the scale all the time complaining she was fat because she weighed more than the other children," said the Norfolk, Virginia, mom. "I don't want my girls feeling the need to match a number on a scale, so I got rid of it and told them that if they feel good and healthy, that is what matters."

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iReport: Healthy living tips for teens – When Megan O'Neil's nearly 18-year-old daughter was a toddler and an under-eater, she would lift up her lunchbox and say, "Wow, Mom, there must be a lot of protein in here!" Years later, the marathon-running mom has a new daily message for her daughter: "Hydrate; you need water!"

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What she's also very mindful of is encouraging her children, especially her girls, to feel good about their bodies. A recent study found that two in three 13-year-olds worry about gaining weight.

Helping her girls feel good about their bodies

"It's always on my mind, and I have African-American daughters. ... I have to help them understand that because their body type is different than others doesn't make one better or more right than the other," she said during a conversation with her family in their home.

"As long as we're healthy and taking care of ourselves ... the way we are made is the way we are made and we should accept ourselves."

That isn't always easy, she added, especially when she goes clothes shopping with her girls.

"Total meltdown in the dressing room trying on jeans and I'm like, 'Well, Kayla, everything is not cut for everybody so you just have to find what works for you,'" said Larkin-Wallace.

"It's something I live with. It's something my mom lives with. She's going to have to live with it. It's just the way it is. (You) just have to find what manufacturer or designer works for you and live a healthy lifestyle and love yourself."

But what makes that harder than when Larkin-Wallace was growing up is that today's teenagers are inundated with messages in the media "telling them that they either need to be superskinny or they need to have this unrealistic ... video-girl body," said Ashley Hicks, who co-founded Black Girls RUN! in 2009. The organization, with 70 groups across the country, has approximately 60,000 members.

Hicks said the best way to counteract those messages is by "showcasing that not everyone who runs or is fit is a size 2 or a size 4. They're going to be size 8s and 10s and 12s and 14s."

"A lot of people are going to have curves and there's nothing wrong with that."

"Do I look fat?"

Up against the media, some parents might feel helpless when it comes to helping their teens develop a positive body image, but there's a lot that parents can do, said Anne Wennerstrand, a psychotherapist in private practice in Katonah, New York, who works with teens and parents to treat and prevent eating and body image problems.

"Are we asking 'Do I look fat?' or are we making excessive comments about appearance even in casual conversation?" said Wennerstrand, who is also on the faculty of The Women's Therapy Centre Institute.

"If parents can raise their own awareness of how much they're commenting about appearance, how critical do they feel of their own bodies, that's really where it starts."

Dr. Larissa Hirsch, medical editor for KidsHealth.org, added, "It's just hard for a teenager to grow up in a household where someone is constantly saying 'I look fat in this' and not internalize some of that."

The best advice for parents, Hirsch said, is to focus less on appearance and more on health, internal qualities and "things that your body can do, rather than how your body appears."

"Compliment them on things that have nothing to do with appearance: how well they shared with their brother, how nicely they stood up for their friend, how generous they were, things of that nature, trying to be supportive and positive and showing the importance of things that have less to do with appearance and more to do with the type of person you are," said Hirsch.

Starting healthy early

Parents can also help their kids by showing them, even when they're little, how to be healthy. That means a lifestyle that includes physical activity, but also eating right, and not making the mistake of missing meals and eating too much fast food and too many desserts.

"Seeing what the parents eat, that makes a big impact," Hirsch said. "Keep your kitchen stocked with healthy options. It's hard when you go to the kitchen to get something to eat and the things that you see are all of these snack foods that are filled with fat and salt and calories."

Helping children develop healthy habits early, even as young as elementary school or in the tween years, can set them on a healthy lifestyle path into their teens and beyond, said Toni Carey, the other co-founder of Black Girls RUN!

In her early years and all through middle school, Carey said she was the "chubby kid in class," and that it wasn't until her adult years that she really started to take care of herself.