Here's Exactly How to Have Multiple Orgasms

Because, no, they're not mythical sex unicorns.

By
Lisa Fogarty

Jan 4, 2017

Crystal Law

Ordinarily, I'll take the weakest of orgasms over no orgasm any day — because vanilla ice cream is still better than no ice cream at all. But it's difficult not to want to keep up with the Joneses, especially when you find out Mrs. Jones is experiencing mind-blowing multiple orgasms just over the white picket fence. Who doesn't want in on that? But hold up — aren't multiple orgasms basically mythical sex unicorns?

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"For most women, multiple orgasms are akin to a sexual fountain of youth — a mythical place that exists only in porn movies or erotic novels," Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist and a senior clinical fellow at Caron Ocean Drive, says. "Yes, they are rare — some evidence suggests they occur in less than 20 percent of the female population — but they do occur."

OK, but how? How do you take orgasms to the penthouse level when so many of women struggle to just get off the ground floor? Of course, there's no one magical set of instructions that will lead to multiple orgasms, but an open mind, confidence, and a few strategic tips can get you there — or close enough to at least experience more intense orgasms.

1. Psych Yourself Up

Before you remove a single button from your blouse, prepare to deliver the best sex pep talk of your life — to yourself. Like any other goal in life, intentions are key, says Hokemeyer, and the best place to start your orgasmic journey is in your mind. "If you set out to come more then once, you greatly enhance your odds of making it happen," Hokemeyer says. "So stop telling yourself multiple orgasms are only for porn stars and start telling yourself they're for you."

2. Think Beyond Penetration

Expanding your sexual repertoire is the best way to achieve multiple orgasms, Hokemeyer says. Penetration is amazing, but if you're looking to get off a few times in a row, ask your partner to put his penis back in his pants (don't worry, guys, it's just temporary).

"The truth is a man's penis can't keep up with a women's clitoris," Hokemeyer says. "Most women who experience multiple orgasms do so through oral sex. The second most common form of multiple orgasms is through a combination of oral sex and manual stimulation."

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3. Don't Put Pressure On Yourself

The key is to keep up the momentum while staying relaxed and in the moment, Hokeyemer says, which means: "Don't keep a scorecard, ticking off one, two, and hopefully three."

Putting pressure on yourself to have multiple orgasms will only keep you from experiencing them, agrees Jessica O'Reilly, Ph.D., a sexologist and creator of the Sexual Pro Series webinars. "Anyone who really loves sex will tell you that quality is more important than quantity, so don't feel any pressure to keep score," O'Reilly says. "I love giving advice on technique, but always worry that it's going to add to the list of things women 'must do' in bed. You mustn't do anything other than what you want to do."

4. Tone Your Pelvic Floor

Stronger pelvic floor muscles can lead to more intense and frequent orgasms — this alone should provide inspiration to keep up with your Kegel exercises (a refresher course: squeeze the muscles you use when holding in your urine for three seconds, release, repeat). But it isn't always as simple as doing Kegels, O'Reilly says, and some women, particularly those who have seriously weakened pelvic floors, may benefit from one session with a pelvic floor therapist.

5. Breathe

It's easy to miss so many pleasurable and potentially explosive moments during foreplay and sex simply because forget to take long, deep breaths and focus on the moment. "When you reach orgasm, breathe as slowly and deeply as possible while contracting your PC muscle," O'Reilly says. "Some women report that this technique makes the orgasmic sensations last longer."

Want to work on your breathing skills and have even better sex? Start by getting into the habit of meditating daily, a practice that will make you more conscious of your breath and body.

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6. Use Your Hands and Thigh Muscles

"As you orgasm, you experience muscular contractions accompanied by heightened sensation throughout your body," O'Reilly says. "Pulse your hand against your entire vulva, G-spot, or clitoral head (depending on your primary source of pleasure) in between each contraction and squeeze your thighs together to prolong the contractions and carry you to the next wave of orgasmic bliss."

7. Put Your Clitoris to the Test

Your clitoris has worked hard to deliver an incredible orgasm. But, if you're like a lot of women, you may find it begging you for a break afterwards (and it can hurt like hell if you don't give it a rest). Contrary to what you might believe, this could be the perfect opportunity to find out exactly what your clitoris is capable of doing.

"After orgasm, your clitoris can become hypersensitive, so we often avoid touching it," O'Reilly says. "If you push through, however, you may find that it leads to another (almost immediate) orgasm."

8. Change Up Your Technique After You Orgasm

Some women really can't stand having their clitorises over-stimulated after an orgasm, and trying is akin to torture. If this sounds like you, and if your first orgasm occurs as a result of clitoral stimulation, O'Reilly suggests giving this area a break and switching to G-spot, breast, or anal play.

"Since you'll already be highly aroused, you don't have to start from scratch and you could experience successive orgasms that feel entirely different than the first," O'Reilly says. "Double up! Don't focus on one area on its own. Play with your clit, your G-spot, your butt, your nipples, your lips — whatever feels good — simultaneously and see what happens!"

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It's also important to keep in mind that orgasms — including multiple orgasms — aren't one and the same. While some women experience very defined breaks between one set of orgasmic contractions and the next, others have a "series of contractions in a row that blur together," says sex educator Ducky DooLittle, author of Sex With the Lights On: 200 Illuminating Sex Questions Answered. As a result, the very definition of what constitutes having "multiple orgasms" isn't always crystal clear. But, hey, it's always worth trying and seeing what works best for you.

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