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RSV puh-leese

Brides and grooms routinely kvetch about delinquent RSVPs. I’m no different. We dearly hope that our friends and family will come to the celebration, but we do need to know roughly how many people we’re seating and feeding and boozing up, and how many tables and how big a dancefloor and how many of this and how many of that.

Ten days before the wedding and a good three weeks since our RSVP date passed, we still have about 15% of RSVPs outstanding. So far this week, my sweetly toned query, “Oh, we sure hope you can you make it to the wedding! Can you?” has prompted the following responses:

“Of course we’ll be there!” They didn’t need to RSVP, because I’m psychic: I knew they wouldn’t miss it.

An offhand “Nah, we can’t make it.” They didn’t need to RSVP, because I’m psychic: I knew they’d have to miss it.

“Didn’t we RSVP? Uh… we did! I wrote you an email last week! Or a letter!” Did you? Hmmm. If you did,A) I most likely would have received an email or a letter.B) You’d know which one you sent.With that in mind, I have a feeling that you didn’t RVSP, and I’m trusting that feeling, because — didn’t you hear? — I’m psychic.

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7 thoughts on “RSV puh-leese”

You are so very funny! I think I RSVP but again I will say that I would LOVE to come to your wedding but cannot travel those distances easily and will have to say no. But I know that you will have a wonderful wedding and my spirit will be a positive force at the party!

Frustratingly, it’s not about them being late — late is fine! Late is great! — but about them simply never ever ever ever never niver nahver responding, or even acknowledging that they got the invitation (and, in several cases, the follow-up message). These three examples are the ones I managed to track down; it’s the silent majority I’m worried about.

While we’re keen to have all our loved ones with us, it’s nice to know how many tables to rent, how many chairs to set up, how much food to make.

This is the joking, yes? No, it’s not you, goofus. A handful of family members did forget to let us know, but that’s easy — someone who tells us when their plane arrives is prolly going to the wedding, y’know?

As for what the hell they’re thinking: they’re thinking “I’m a special case with specially extenuating circumstances.” And that’s true. The thing is: everyone’s a special case. Everyone has special circumstances.

I know everyone has lots of stuff going on, distracting busy stuff. But note that the guest who received alarming medical news still RSVPed; the guest who was recently widowed RSVPed; the guests who live all the way around the globe RSVPed; the guest whose partnership blew up RSVPed. These people all managed to let us know whether we could expect them, as best they could. I’m very grateful to them for their kindness and their courtesy.