With sirens swapped for wedding bells and the bride having traded scrubs for a frock, the Holby team (who are either priapic or nymphomaniacal) are here today to celebrate the union of Joseph and Faye. That Faye's frock is scarlet and the best man is a drunken Scotsman should in no way direct you to the outcome of proceedings. Still, as the groom's mother is Jane Asher, at least we know that there'll be a lovely cake. Now, as a present, let's hope that Faye gets the ability to move her face.

Property Snakes and Ladders8pm, Channel 4

Rejoice! The Beeny is back - and this time, the pesky property developers she shadows don't have a rising market to make them a profit regardless of their witless decisions and tendency to ignore her advice. It would take a heart of stone not to laugh. Beeny, bless her, mostly manages to keep a straight face as Rick and Natasha explain their woes, having borrowed from their parents to buy at the height of the market. Who, you have to wonder, is sorry now?

Gerry Robinson's Car Crash10pm, BBC2

In the first of five Money Programme specials about the state of the British economy, which can be summed up in one word: aaarrgh!, Robinson examines the motor industry. Travelling, occasionally by electric car, from Europe's most efficient factory - Nissan in Sunderland - to Peter Mandelson's office, he asks why people aren't buying cars (80% of car sales are on credit) and whether Britain should manufacture anything (maybe yes, maybe no). He also highlights the fact that, actually, there's no such thing as a British car industry, as all the manu-facturers are foreign-owned.

True Stories: Act of God10pm, More4

Having been put off strikes of lightning by a recent episode of Bizarre ER (which suggested that they wouldn't imbue me with superpowers but rather bring forth bleeding from every orifice, break all the bones in my face and cause severe burns), along comes a programme about those "blessed" by lightning. From a former US marine who speaks gleefully of his epiphany to author Paul Auster who, at 14, survived a strike that killed a friend, this is, aptly, electrifying stuff. Do not try the experiments at home, though.