Life is a Series of Natural and Spontaneous Change. Don’t Resist.

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous change. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~ Lao Tzu (Tao Te Ching)

If you think about your life for a moment, you will realize that for the majority of the time, you have been resisting, fighting, struggling and generally refusing to accept and flow with the present moment reality.

When we were children we screamed and refused to do what our equally resistant parents demanded us to do. When we were teenagers we rebelled in defiance against the rules and expectations of our parents, teachers and higher authorities. And upon reaching adulthood we’re still in the habit of creating friction and obstruction in our lives.

We are creatures of disunity and discord.

One side of us strives to fulfill our social duties, obligations and expectations to attain a kind of illusive acceptance amongst our friends, lovers, families and colleagues. The other side of us craves to revolt against every belief, dogma and standard that has ever been unjustly imposed on us. We long to breathe life into our long-buried dreams, and to blow the dust off our unconventional visions, dreams and goals for life that we once had.

In one way or another, there is always some kind of chaotic resistance and duplicity boiling deep inside of us.

The hallmark of our lives as a species, you could say, is our relentless ability to block, combat and defy both ourselves, and our fellow neighbors on the earth.

It’s a miserable habit, wouldn’t you say?

Life is Short, Then You Die

The problem is, we think we have time. Sure, we may have 70-80 years of it, but even that isn’t guaranteed, as our lives, like our bodies, are so fragile and hang in the balance of luck and destiny.

It’s not nice to constantly contemplate our mortality, to come to terms with the fact that any minute or day we could find ourselves being carted away in a body bag to the local mortuary.

The sweet little fibs we tell ourselves keep us self-satisfied, stubborn and unmoving.

But a quiet, often smothered, whisper inside tells us of the truth of our reality: that we are fallible, fragile and vulnerable, no matter how highly or lowly esteemed we are. No matter our “profession”, man-made titles, or accomplishments.

Life is short, then we die.

So Simple, Yet So Hard

But life is not all doom and gloom. It’s the very fragility of life that makes it so precious. And when we truly come to terms with how precious and transient it is, we can then grow to fully appreciate it, and live like there’s no tomorrow.

I was born with a neurotic temperament. For most of my life I’ve been very cautious and careful because since childhood I’ve been so aware of how ephemeral life is. I’ve loathed the thought of wasting my life and squandering my time here on earth, only to find myself dead or dying one day, with little time to fulfill my visions or make a significant difference to the world. But that precise neurotic behavior has backfired on me many times (e.g. anxiety issues, starting too many projects and not finishing them, rushing into things).

I guess you could say that I have an immense passion to live life, but that hunger has often resulted in me rushing around too much, imposing my will on everything and everyone, and not taking time to actually be in the present moment.

There is a natural flow to life. Everything and everyone finds a solution in due time.

When people refer to “going with the flow”, they’re not spouting new age talk, they’re speaking of something much more profound. They’re speaking of the necessity to surrender to the stream of life, to let everything complete its natural course, the way it was intended to.

If it is the right time or place, open the door in front of you, but don’t run around like a headless chicken crazily painting doors for yourself to open. Life doesn’t work that way.

The Only Thing You Can Control is Your Perception

The raw truth is that you can’t control any single person – no matter how close or distant they are to you – ever. You will never be able to unless that person or group of people are willing to make the change.

You can also never control your external circumstances. Of course, you can manipulate, impose or resist certain events, but you can never have complete and impenetrable control. You can’t control what happens, when it decides to happen, where, why or how. We never have complete control over life or other people, and it’s foolish to waste our time, energy and resources in such a pursuit. It’s a race with no end.

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous change. Some people believe these changes happen for a reason, others believe it’s all up to chance or luck. Whatever you believe, don’t resist.

I realize that it’s easy to just say that, but much harder to actually put into practice. But there are ways of fostering this change in your life.

On my journey of soulwork, non-resistance is an extremely potent lesson I’ve learned that begins with self-awareness. Pay attention to what you are doing, thinking and planning. Without self-awareness you can never hope to let life flow naturally. Experimenting with various awareness-stimulating techniques can help set you on the same path I’m walking:

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Set little alarms to go off during regular intervals in the day (e.g. on your mobile phone). Whenever the alarm sounds, reflect on whether you are “going with the flow”, or not.

Practice meditation each day for 10-15 minutes. This helps you to become aware of your thought patterns.

Keep a journal that you record your daily progression in. This helps you to see what you are doing well with, and how you can improve.

***

We make our lives so hard, but in reality they can be so easy if we learn how to break the habit of resistance. We can never control other people or situations, but we can control ourselves and our approach to life.

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About Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is an influential psychospiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a spiritual counselor, diviner, and author, Luna's mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. [Read More]

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This is really a great article and so open also. It toke me years to let go, not with the intent to hurt or just lose people but just seeing what happened when you just give total freedom with your own flow(boundaries) , yes i does hurt ( vulnerable )as most cant handle it …. and yes my self is a sort of but cant you see i love you or so type of man ( control),,,but I still don,t force and did let go …….these topics give me so much confidence and rest, I thank you …. as yes life is short but long enough to enjoy it. I accept change and see what brings me on my path but more spirituality and not today’s world expectations which are slowly going out of hand ….thanx i keep following and read the books …

Sharon, I love that you’ve chosen to flow with this spontaneous choice. Personally, I believe everything happens for a reason, even apparent “dumb” decisions. They always teach us some kind of lesson, or sometimes even open new unexpected doors for us. Best of luck with your new home. xx

I have a question that I have been pondering on for a while and don’t know if you have addressed it before, if not do you mind helping me find the answer. The question being ” how far do you go in being environmental? ” I feel like I’m avoiding certain activities or products that make me happy because I’m more concerned about saving the enviroment and the future. Is it selfish to do something that is destroying to the world and species that roam it for my own happiness? What comes first? I’m not saying that being environmental conscious doesn’t make me happy it’s does but not the same type of happiness. The difference between the two pleasures I’m infused with is that one is a blissful happiness and the other being a successful happiness.

Interesting question Molly. My response would be that self-love isn’t the equivalent of being hedonistic or uncaring for others. Why? Because we are all interconnected. What I decide now directly or indirectly impacts my future and the well-being of others. This is why self-love is wise. However, it also keeps in mind personal limitations. So choose the path you perceive is the wisest and most caring for yourself and others. Think of it this way: will it matter to you on your death bed when you’re reviewing your life choices and decisions?

The things I find happening consistently are what most would think insignificant …. usually minor issues but they occur one after another on pretty much a daily basis and has been going on for a very long time. I have always been a positive thinking person and know it’s necessary to carry that thought with me as I go through my day. I believe in giving back, kindness and love….. it’s really getting to me, I don’t understand and always try to figure out what this is all about.

I literally feel like this article was written for me. I am at a point in my life where I have been job hunting for a while now and right when I started letting go of the outcome, the interviews started pouring in. Thank you so much for this well time article.

This website is a gift. Thank you so much! These important spiritual subjects are in a language I can finally understand if that makes any sense. I have always had an interest in the spiritual, and went through a phase of doing past life regressions with close friends. I struggled a lot though and had a lot of internal conflict that threw me out of sync for a while. But reality has brought me back and I’m so grateful.

I find that it’s always vital to balance our ethereal selves with our earthly selves, which I’m glad you’ve discovered Emily. Putting these concepts and discoveries into words can be hard and time-consuming, so I really appreciate your comment. <3

It has been enlightening experience to discover Lonerwolf and realize that there are so many people like me. I have always feared and resisted change in my life. I have recognized that and have been working hard to overcome it. Your article on vulnerability really hit home and has given me a lot to think about. I am going to follow your suggestions. I believe they will help me make some real progress.
Thank you.

Dear Aletheia,
I have just discovered your website through tumblr when lonerwolf started following me :) I am so excited to read your articles, that perfectly resonate with my state of mind, and state of my being. You are such a beautiful soul and I want to thank you for sharing your love and wisdom with us.
This article is amazing beyond words :)

Love,
Zlata

p.s. English is not my first language, but I still hope you could understand my words here :)

It’s great to hear from you, and I really appreciate you commenting here. :)

Isn’t it wonderful when we stumble across something that seems to perfectly mirror our thoughts, feelings and deepest yearnings in life? I love knowing that all our work here can provide that in some way. Thank you so much for your kind words! And don’t worry, I could understand you perfectly. ;)

I usually find myself reluctant to agree with the general concepts of your writing. But I must admit that I find this article to be a welcome exception. Of course, I do not mean to seem critical of your views since we all must think differently. But I do find this particular subject as especially thought-provoking when compared to the rest of your work that I’ve read. Thank you very much this!

Deep truth. Not easy to live. Or, perhaps, too easy to live…since the ego generally makes things harder than they need be. I am finding that regular meditation is essential. Which is really just the practice of relaxing and letting be. I have also found studying the 7 rays (a teaching by Buddha Maitreya) has been very illuminating. For ex, each ray has many qualities in it (and all 7 in a human being). In the 1st Ray (the red ray), is ‘the power to centralize’, also ‘large-mindedness’, and ‘detachment’, among other qualities. Each ray has it’s virtues and it’s vices. It’s a study of the self really…in both it’s lower and higher nature. Each person has their dominant rays, and I find I generally need to apply more first (red) ray virtues, and watch out for those second (aqua) ray vices. The red ray is the Ray of Will or Power, and the Aqua Ray is the ray of Loving-Wisdom. It’s a teaching that has brought a lot of light to my life. As another example, a Red ray vice is to be too willfull…forceful. And some Aqua Ray virtues are: the ability to know absolute Truth…and patience. A very common Aqua Ray vice is self-pity, btw. I really like the simplicity of this teaching…7 rays…7 colours…it’s very intuitive I find. Great article, btw, thank you. Great reminder. :-)

Donovan, thank you for sharing with me the 7 rays, it’s something I’ve yet to explore in depth. And yes, it’s so bizarre how the easiest things in life (simply being in the present moment for example) are the hardest! Such a paradox!

Hi I read this article today and I want to resist as usual. I was rather discouraged and unhappy in my country which is Canada and decided to teach English abroad. It was a very good experience for me . I needed to do something meaningful. I was nervous at first but eventually I became good at it once I was more comfortable with the material etc. I started to identify with my students trying to make them feel comfortable and safe in my classes. My students and colleagues became very fond of me. When I had issues with someones behavior I would discuss the matter with my colleagues and they were always supportive and I didn’t question myself or my experience. My students were so fond of me and me them. Especially in Turkey but I had wonderful students and friends in Russia and Saudi. All very different cultures but I found people warmer, more sensitive, more caring about people. Even families helped each other so much more than Canada. People were generous, helpful understanding. hhhmmmmmm
So I returned to Canada a few months ago. I was feeling more confident when I arrived I was happy and looking forward to my next posting. Every countries requirements are different in order to get a work permit or visa so there were issues here leaving right away. But I realized I was becoming a good teacher and really tried to make it positive for the school. Well in Canada I began to notice peoples behavior and moods here. Being very different the way they speak to each other etc. They don’t socialize always playing with their cell phones.i was feeling hurt a lot disrespected etc. From merchants, to people driving on the roads/road rage, being a passenger on the bus. Not to say I didn’t meet nice people but eventually the bad behavior started to affect me. Its a govt city as well where I am from and I began to notice how public servants acted in public as if they are a superior class of citizens. I began reading about individualism in our society, entitlement culture, public sector entitlement culture, narcissism, capitalism, post liberalism and I wrote a book on it while I was here. I also didn’t feel comfortable in my country anymore. It wasn’t the same. We have a flood of immigrants coming here. Some feel they are more educated than us, feel that we are racists, etc. But I realized that we cant support even our own people. There is a competition for the jobs that we do have. I started to read that over 90% of the new immigrants are not happy and leave in the first year. We already have an oversized public sector which is now being described as the new rich in Canada. They have strong unions and most of our taxes are going to the public sectors salaries, benefits and over spending. The other sectors are treated so poorly and living a way lower standard of life and in poverty, homeless, hungry and so on. I noticed so much greed here everyone is out for the dollar. People in the public sector are working less and less just collecting high salaries, protected by their unions or the govt wanting to meet mandates, keep their votes etc when there are the other sectors suffering. There is also an element of empire building in our govt and society. Protecting themselves ,all trying to get more power and in denial only seeing reality that serves their best interest. Even our govt is being described as becoming a police state. Canadians do not care or say anything. Such an imbalance ,it is overwhelming for me. I have friends who invalidate me re life here and others who validate me. But i noticed so much emphasis on status, money, so much self righteousness, criticism, judging and don’t stir the pot. I realized I am not a supporter of capitalism,nor do I want to support such a govt. We continue to go down on the list of countries who have better quality of life, equality and so on. I just want to leave so badly but I cant I am Canadian not a refugee. I am trying to figure out a way I can survive here and be happy. I am considering moving to Northern Communities. Where people may be friendlier, more community oriented, creating a good society. I am also noticing there are many barriers in western culture, may agencies trying to control their industry, licensing, fees etc….I am sure the immigrants who are doctors etc notice all the extra stresses involved for them to work here. So now I am considering teaching abroad again but delayed here. I am getting so depressed. I even started taking anti depressants. I have been staying in short term acommodations and I cant believe how inconsiderate people are living with you, only ready to use and exploit you. As an empath I detest the narcissists and materialistics. I see many people suffering from addictions, depression and so on and I cant help but point the finger at our govt and everyone being out for themselves. Well I didn’t mean to write so much but this is my resistance. I feel if I don’t resist that noone else cares and society will continue to crumble. I don’t want to be moving around and facing the same all the time. I want to be very aggressive finding a solution for my life where I can exist and be happy most of the time. I did feel this way teaching abroad . i don’t like to see abusive selfish people get away with such behavior. I feel somehow I don’t belong here.

Mark, have you ever tried asking yourself the question: “can I change other people?”

I ask this because what you have written seems to have an underlying tone of “I want these people to change, everything sucks here, there is so much inequality, everything is going down hill, I hate it.” So, back to the question, can you really change other people? You can certainly point out what is going wrong, and raise awareness to it, but will that really change anything in the long run? For a large-scale, long-lasting change to take place, PEOPLE must change. Whats more, they must decide to change, they can never be forced or guilt tripped.

There is plenty of corruption and depressing crap going around all of us in the world, but the more we think about it, mull over it, and get ourselves worked up over it, the more we suffer. If we do have the power to change something, we by all means should, but without carrying to heavy weight of expectations, because when we don’t get our way, we suffer and resist.

Canada is the way Canada is right now. Either you must accept, or actively work for change without carrying expectations that everything will get better automatically. There aren’t any other alternatives. The only thing you can control at the end of the day is the way you think, feel and act. You can use this for or against yourself.

Mark, I understand you completely because I have and do feel the same way. What you should not do is punish yourself, thinking there is something wrong with you for feeling this way. You may one day change your opinions, but for now it is clear you need to go back into an environment which inspires you. One piece of advice – do not make the mistake of moving to a place solely on thinking it will have the kind of people you want to live around. You will surely be disappointed wherever you go. The most important thing is choosing something for yourself foremost, whether this is teaching English or any other occupation, so that you will be doing something you enjoy and are not depending solely on others for fulfilment. Of course, try to combine the two :)
Good luck, I know you’re not happy right now but this will pass. Use this time wisely to do all you can to get back abroad, and fill your time with positive activities to better yourself and divert your attention away from all that you dislike. Ditch the anti-depressants, use natural ones like exercise and reading! It just about works for me.
Do vstrechi, tovorishch!

I follow the “Going with the flow” view of life and everything works and Im sucessfull in my projects when Im focused in that way of life. I also think that our mind, wth our thougts and words can change everythng around us and thus way we can achieve our goals and turn our dreams into reality. We can change our path with our mind and live in a different reality where the impossible turns to possible.
My impossible and dream is to find a jb and live in Australia. And I know it is possible. I live in Madeira Island and Australia is very far…

Joao, I really admire your attitude towards life, and I believe it will get you very far towards achieving your hopes and dreams. There is nothing wrong with aspiring to achieve in life, but it is only when we don’t accept whatever comes our way that we suffer. It’s difficult to go into the eye of the storm of our fear and anxiety about life, but once we do, and once we let it be, we achieve peace for the first time: we are no longer running, and fighting, and resisting.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you to accomplish this dream of yours!

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About Us

Walk the path less traveled

Our names are Aletheia Luna and Mateo Sol and we currently live in Perth, Western Australia.

Our mission is to help others embrace the path of the lone wolf and listen to the soul’s calling. Our goal is to provide a grounded and balanced perspective of spirituality that doesn’t bypass the raw, real, and messy aspects of spiritual growth or psychological development.

We are deeply drawn to exploring and exposing both the light and shadow side of human nature and spirituality. We strive towards integration, balance, wholeness, and embracing both the sacred and wild aspects of being human. Read more.