Paulie Bordonni and The Boppers

Paulie Bordonni and the Boppers

Spring '13

The Boppers were the toughest gang in all of Royal Oak, Michigan. They were the kings of the streets and they ran that town. When you heard their motorcycles roaring up the road from behind, you made sure that you pulled over to get out of their way. If you were at "The Burger Shack" and The Boppers showed up, you got your food to go. They were the meanest group of guys you could ever hope to encounter.

And they weren't just any club you could just sing up for, no, you had to earn your spot. Little Joe the Mole had to eat two whole jalapeños in under a minute to get in. Martin the Shark had to go a whole day without saying "the" to prove that he was worthy. And those weren't even the worst cases. Tony "Danza" had to buy tampons from every store in town, in a dress. So, needless to say, not just any old Joe was allowed to ride with The Boppers (except for Old Joe, a member of the gang notorious for once farting in every single resident's mailbox).

But if you think those guys I just mentioned are bad, well I haven't even gotten to the boss yet. The big cheese, the head honcho, the lead singer of the Boppers: Paulie Bordonni. Paulie was not only the leader of the gang, but also its founder and CEO.

And he was the meanest, toughest, and most well groomed of them all. Paulie didn't care for anything, and he showed it. Paulie never paid for drinks, he always ordered water cups and filled them up with whatever soda he wanted. Nobody ever said anything out of pure fear of what could happen.

The Boppers were not a violent gang, though they had the capacity to be. All members were granted a dull switch blade and a well sharpened switch comb. Nobody knows how experienced The Boppers were with switchblades, but if the slickness of their hair was any indication, they were masters. Nobody ever dreamed of stepping up to The Boppers. It was either join them or move away. That is until their authority was challenged by a new gang: MS-13.

MS-13 was a new gang composed mainly of jailbirds. They were supposedly pretty tough, but everyone was sure that The Boppers would have them running home in no time.

What followed was a series of extremely gruesome gang battles. The Boppers believed the battles were going to be of a wise-cracking variety, while MS-13 thought they would be more of a murder and castrate kind of thing. Needless to say, the Boppers are no longer around, but their memory lives on in stories told by those who were alive to see them rule. Also, Paulie is still alive and owns a Little Caesars right outside the shopping mall. He will tell you about this stuff if you want.

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