I've been in kind of a rut this week. Every time something goes up, it feels like it comes back down just a little further.

Today wasn't really that different. I had an interview for a summer TA job that I was hoping to get (it would take care of summer expenses and YAY, go to Japan!) but had to turn it down because it turns out they need the TA to start working on the logistics *right now* (well, next week). And that plus comps plus two classes plus TA isn't really a good idea.

I didn't really have a Plan B set up. So while it was gratifying to get an interview, it was a little disheartening to have to turn it down. And now I gotta figure out what to do.

I'm behind on my reading, and feeling a little at sea in terms of comp preparation. I think part of it is that I know what I have to do and I just don't want to do it, and part of it is that I'm afraid to get started because then it will really be happening. So instead I'm kind of carrying around this sense of dread that I'm not properly getting my work done and a bit of guilt for every evening I spend slacking off instead.

And I got my period, so cramps ahoy.

Funny how that can change your outlook.

Ok, counting up the good things that happened today, this week, something:

ordered girl scout cookies from the office admin

candidate who gave job talk on wednesday was actually interesting, made an effort with grad students, and could be a good person to work with (so for grad students he's the one to beat)

made it through the month without breaking budget even though i had to buy school books and pay car registration and pay application fee for summer program

designed kick ass wedding invites for my girlfriend monday and got to hang out with her

did enough translation work last night that I still had more than half of it left after meeting with prof today

made kick ass tasty tabouli pita sandwiches for lunch today

despite the whole turn down thing, gave good interview

So really, it's not that bad, and probably I will be able to see this tomorrow, and tonight's gloom and doom is just a double whammy of long week plus pms. But I am totally ready for it to pass.

also posted to dreamwidth | you can reply here or there | um, but don't worry, i'm still an lj girl