Over Exposed

There’s a certain loneliness to owning a secret monster
because at first people refuse to believe it is true
that it’s just a myth
never going to occur
until it actually does

the townspeople go running
the brave ones try to fight it
the intelligent ones try to study it
because monsters only cause destruction
after exposure comes deterioration
and suddenly the monster is not a myth
and people are genuinely scared
so like any creator
You try to redeem yourself
but once the path has holes
it can never be fully filled in
and people have terror on their face

what if the words I wrote weren’t mine
or anyones at all
what if there was a piece of me I never wanted to come out
the voice who thinks and says things it shouldn’t
and are aware it shouldn’t

that feeling of total exposure is terrifying
with the monster being fed and growing
all out of my control
so soon my words will be trampled upon
by the creation that was never meant to erupt
because it’s not happy
it’s not the image built up
after years and years of trying
to not be overwhelming
or sickening
but instead; comforting
and people don’t know what to believe
and to change this image would be to change You

except it wouldn’t
it would be exposing me

because the wall which was built up for safety
has crumbled down
and this monster is encouraged to roam and be itself
which I’m not happy with
after so much work why is it fair to throw it all away?

so the walls are going to be built up
the moods are going to stop
the words are going to brighten
the smiles are going to be constant
and the monster will be hidden
because to give so much of yourself to a person is terrifying
and unthinkable
and unwanted
You can never trust a face
but to gain trust off the vulnerable is easy with a simple smile

a comforting smile

because everyone wants a listener
no one really wants a talker
so to listen would be to make someone else happy
even if the monster disagrees
even if the monster knows the falseness which is happening
even if the monster knows you’re wrong
because in the end
a person cannot be so split that they hate themselves

their true selves that is

but then why do so many people try to change themselves?
words should just flow
not contained
not corrupted
but content
but the monster still goes behind bars
hidden
the path gets filled in
the people get left behind
the ears open
the mouth closes
the mind still wanders

but You can miss the monster
because of the comfort of it
even if it is what’s best
as too many people have seen too much monster
which could only grow
so it may be best to forget it happened
and convince everyone that it was just a myth
and they imagined it