How To Deal With Your Weed Dealer

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April 20, 2015

Your relationship with your dealer is one worth nurturing: He’s the last guy you want to piss off, and yet you don’t exactly want to be friends. Finding the right balance between good times and business can ensure a bright, hazy future for you and your friends. So here’s a handy guide for how to appropriately communicate with your dealer. Happy 4/20!

Your friend was kind enough to share his contact with you. This is a gift—a precious, precious gift, especially if it’s delivery. Don't screw this up and destroy his or her good faith. The first time you contact your new dealer is a magical (and risky) moment. Here are a few things you should always keep in mind.

**1) "What is your dealer’s preferred mode of communication?" **

It's a simple question that you should ask before making any moves. Text? Voice message? Facetime? Snapchat? Smoke signals?

**2) ****Who you got your contact from. **

Regardless of your method state who referred you off the bat.

3)** Dealers are people too. **

So be polite. Say your pleases and thank yous. Your mother was on-point with that one. Oh, and don’t _weigh _the weed in front of your guy while he’s there. That’s just rude. If it looks sketchy, just send your dealer on his merry way.

Precision is not your friend. So when you're texting or calling your guy be careful with your phrasing. "I would like a quarter of an ounce of your finest marijuana, please," is not appropriate. That's also a sure-fire way to ensure your new dealer will never-ever text you back. There's really no reason to discuss specifics. Name, reference, location, meeting time: that's all you need to cover.

If you're heading over to your friendly neighborhood dispensary however, throw these rules out the window, by all means! Just follow the basic rules of human decency. Keep the dialogue open, casual, and treat the tree more like a commodity than a drug. If you need more help, see our shopper’s guide to marijuana here.

Weed is the new wine. There are a million varieties from a million locales. Do you know what calys are? Because you will soon as weed connoisseurship continues to explode across the United States. So don’t be shy to ask about what’s available. Weed, despite being literally a weed, is kind of like produce—we all want watermelon all year long, but that’s just not going to happen. You’re not going to get that big-name, award-winning strain all the time. Your options will usually vary by geography. So will prices. Sometimes your dealer will outright BS you. And that’s OK. When determining the ‘quality’ of product you might be getting, just think DAMN. You want dense, aromatic, moist (but not wet) nuggs.

Whatever you do, have money ready to go–no one wants to go on a group scavenger for an ATM.

Amounts to know:

_ Dime_ = 1 gram ($10)

_ Eighth _= 3.5 grams ($50-$75)

_ Quarter_ = 7 grams ($75-$120)

First Contact

Your friend was kind enough to share his contact with you. This is a gift—a precious, precious gift, especially if it’s delivery. Don't screw this up and destroy his or her good faith. The first time you contact your new dealer is a magical (and risky) moment. Here are a few things you should always keep in mind.

**1) "What is your dealer’s preferred mode of communication?" **

It's a simple question that you should ask before making any moves. Text? Voice message? Facetime? Snapchat? Smoke signals?

**2) ****Who you got your contact from. **

Regardless of your method state who referred you off the bat.

3)** Dealers are people too. **

So be polite. Say your pleases and thank yous. Your mother was on-point with that one. Oh, and don’t _weigh _the weed in front of your guy while he’s there. That’s just rude. If it looks sketchy, just send your dealer on his merry way.

The Golden Rule

Precision is not your friend. So when you're texting or calling your guy be careful with your phrasing. "I would like a quarter of an ounce of your finest marijuana, please," is not appropriate. That's also a sure-fire way to ensure your new dealer will never-ever text you back. There's really no reason to discuss specifics. Name, reference, location, meeting time: that's all you need to cover.

If you're heading over to your friendly neighborhood dispensary however, throw these rules out the window, by all means! Just follow the basic rules of human decency. Keep the dialogue open, casual, and treat the tree more like a commodity than a drug. If you need more help, see our shopper’s guide to marijuana here.

The Goods

Weed is the new wine. There are a million varieties from a million locales. Do you know what calys are? Because you will soon as weed connoisseurship continues to explode across the United States. So don’t be shy to ask about what’s available. Weed, despite being literally a weed, is kind of like produce—we all want watermelon all year long, but that’s just not going to happen. You’re not going to get that big-name, award-winning strain all the time. Your options will usually vary by geography. So will prices. Sometimes your dealer will outright BS you. And that’s OK. When determining the ‘quality’ of product you might be getting, just think DAMN. You want dense, aromatic, moist (but not wet) nuggs.

Payment

Whatever you do, have money ready to go–no one wants to go on a group scavenger for an ATM.