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The Duck Is Dead

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck Cuddles has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?
Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a
few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later
with a cat.The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird fromhead to foot. The cat sat back on it's haunches, shook its head, meowedsoftly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.
"$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!!
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry but if you'd taken my word for it, the bill
would have been $20, But............. with the "Lab" Report and the "Cat"
Scan, it's now $150.00!!!"

Two men were out fishing on a boat. One man thought he had forgotten his fishing liscence so he pulled out his wallet to double check, but he fumbled and dropped his wallet.... over the edge of the boat it went. The two men leaned over the boat to watch the wallet sink towards the bottom of the lake, but then a carp swam up to the wallet and snatched it into it's mouth, then a second carp came up and started fighting for the wallet, then a third carp, and forth. The two men looked at each other in amazement, then one said, "WOW! I've never seen carp to carp walleting before!"

Two men were out fishing on a boat. One man thought he had forgotten his fishing liscence so he pulled out his wallet to double check, but he fumbled and dropped his wallet.... over the edge of the boat it went. The two men leaned over the boat to watch the wallet sink towards the bottom of the lake, but then a carp swam up to the wallet and snatched it into it's mouth, then a second carp came up and started fighting for the wallet, then a third carp, and forth. The two men looked at each other in amazement, then one said, "WOW! I've never seen carp to carp walleting before!"

LOL! This one reminds me of a story about a geocacher who dropped his wallet off a bridge!