Aspiring writer Bob Mackelford recently crafted the greatest screenplay of all time by incorporating every known method and trick of the trade into one amazing “ultrascript.”

“There are so many amazing, earth-shattering theories out there, I couldn’t choose between them,” said Mackelford. “So I just decided to use every single one while writing my romantic comedy ‘Desk Next Door’ about two office manager rivals who fall in love.”

According to Mackelford, each theory was given equal prominence in the script. For example, he used a 3-Act Structure, but every act is organized using the Sequencing Method. The main character goes through the Hero’s Journey, but he also displays characteristics of the Mentor Archetype as well.

“I wrote this script with story as the key element, just like [Robert] McKee would suggest, but I also wrote it while focusing all my attention on commerciality, in the Save The Cat school of thought,” said Mackelford. “I finished the script in 21 days, just like that one book, but then I read another book that said three days, so I trashed the original and rewrote it from scratch in 72 hours.”