Seeds for Your Soul

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It was a bright and sunny day and the temperature was perfect. Although I felt like winter lasted forever, the amazing weather I saw made me think that things were going to lighten up and boy, was I excited. I was ready for the warmer weather, and all that came with it like trips to the lake, pretty flowers, and walks outside.

I looked at my phone to find a notification from a local news station informing me that the area was under a severe thunderstorm warning. I scoffed at my phone in disbelief because from what I had observed, there was no way a storm was possible. The weather was amazing and there wasn’t even a cloud in the sky. A couple hours later the meteorologist proved me wrong, and the storm came down hard.

As I sat on my couch listening to the rain fall and thunder bellow outside my house I couldn’t help but think that this is what life is all about…

I was reminded that life is full of up’s and downs. The adversary has undesired surprises hidden in every corner. One moment things are fine and then bam, you are hit with an unexpected expense or sickness. Happiness is drowned in the midst of a storm. Through all the hardships that come from life, I am so thankful that my God is in control.

Are you going through a storm right now? Were you hit with a situation that seemed to knock you right off of your feet? Take heart, my dear friend, because our troubles won’t last forever. Our loving God is full of comfort and guidance. Even if you can’t see Him, He is present in your situation and there is hope because this, too, shall pass

As I look at the bags piled up by the door tears begin to run down my cheeks and the realization of what’s to come floods my mind and emotions begin to fill my heart.

Today is the day that I leave the nest.

Today is the day I leave my home.

I remember the day I moved in like it was yesterday. The memories of this place will be forever etched in my mind because my home was my birthday present from Jesus. After three years of moving constantly, thirteen times to be exact, my prayer was answered.

I walked through the doors with a trash bag full of belongings and a painful past that followed me everywhere I went. I had never lived in a place that didn’t use the words, “this is my house!” and wherever I went I walked on eggshells.

I lived in constant fear that I would be kicked out. When I moved in I realized that here I was safe. I was loved and taken care of and the best part was that no one would take that away.

I made memories and had tender moments with many precious women. Sometimes, I laughed so hard I cried. I found community and I learned how to trust. It was here that I moved past the mindset that the only way to get through life was to survive.

My home taught me what grace is. I learned that I am good enough and I don’t need to earn peoples love. It was here I faced my fears, and I stopped running from my problems.

It was in these sacred walls that I found healing.

I feel like I’m on top of a mountain succeeding after a long hard climb. I can take a deep breath because it’s going to be okay.

I have survived.

I would be lying to you if I said I wasn’t scared of what’s to come. Life seems so uncertain still, and at times, it’s still hard to accept the fact that I am loved. One thing that I know for sure is that God is here and He will guide me in the unknown.

As a runner with a goal-driven mentality being on the go is an understatement. Rarely does anyone find me sitting around. Between work, school, and various obligations I tend to find myself with a full plate and until recently I didn’t find anything wrong with that. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I never really thought about including God in what I chose to do. I thought that if I was being a good example and serving him then I was good.

God showed me how wrong I was by taking charge of one of the most important aspects in my life… MY JOB.

Since the age of 17 a job was a necessity and to be honest, it was my security. I knew that if I didn’t work, I couldn’t support myself so I took charge and always made sure I was employed.

Everything else in my life was chaos and out of control, but my job, well that was one thing that always felt safe and secure and I loved it.

I loved going to work every day knowing that I was a hard worker and that I wouldn’t be let go. I gained my identity in my job title. I loved the fact that in the hard life I was forced to endure, there was one thing I had control over and I did whatever I could to make sure that it stayed that way.

I am learning through my internship what being still means. It means waiting on God to open doors and walking away from the ones he doesn’t want me to go through. It means being okay with the unknown and enjoying my job day by day.

Being still isn’t taking charge of a situation, it’s simply waiting on the Lord to reveal His next steps.

I feel like a little child that is learning how to walk. My little hands are holding on to God’s strong fingers for balance. As I look up at him with fearful eyes, afraid of my future, and not sure which steps to take, I see his gentle and loving eyes looking down at me.

He whispers ever so softly, “Daughter, I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall. I know which steps to take.”

I have this verse written on a chalkboard at my desk as a constant reminder. On those days when my mind is filled with worry, I can just look to this verse. At this point I have no idea where I will be working in a month, let alone a year but one thing I know for sure is that God’s plans will prevail.

When God said, “I know the plans I have for you” I believe that He meant it so I’m going to be still and wait on Him.