Author, Blogger, Pastor's Wife

Faulkette Funnies

Me to Ana, as I was researching stops for my anniversary getaway with Wes, “Does that look like a romantic place?” Ana to me, “Hawaii is supposed to be fun, not romantic.” Me to Ana, “What? You don’t think Papi has fun when he’s kissing me?” Ana to me, “Well, that’s just weird.” No weirder than having this conversation with a seven year old.

Emma to me, “And then [boy in her class] fell asleep right on his desk!” Me to Emma, “Did he get in trouble for falling asleep during class?” Emma to me, “No, because he had already gotten a conduct mark for the day.” This kid had already paid the price, so he could keep on committing the crime without further conviction. Double jeopardy in play in the first grade, y’all.

Ana, looking in on a sleeping Emma, “She looks like she had a rough night!” She did.

Me to Emma, singing a song to her, “You’re so vain! You probably think this song is about you!” Emma to me, “It is. You’re singing it to me.” Well, by golly, she’s right. (Didn’t think that through to its logical conclusion, did you, Carly Simon?)

Ana to me, as we watched someone walking near a busy intersection the other day, “She’s walking instead of driving. That’s saving electricity, which is good for our environment.” Me to Ana, “Cars run on gas, not electricity.” Ana to me, “But the smoke, Mommy. That’s bad for the environment.” A pause. “She should ride a bike.” True enough, but I still don’t think she got what I was saying.

Emma to me, after I threatened to kill Charlie because I kept tripping on him, “If you kill him, it will start to smell AWFUL in here.” Dead dogs do stink. Yes.

Ana to me, on the story she was writing, “They got sucked into a magic mirror and woke up in Alabama!” Me to Ana, “Wow, that’s scary!” Ana to me, “YEAH!” No offense to anyone from Alabama.