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The Rabbit Wears Prada

It really does fascinate me sometimes as to what kind of troublesome, awkward, weird, unusual, abnormal, and just plain strange situations that present themselves to me. The only thing I could say is stranger, is how I go about dealing with them, and the most obvious is usually the end result of the matter. I resign myself sometimes constantly wondering. “How did things turn out like this?” Personally, I wonder if it is because of my desire to escape the monotony of “an ordinary every day”, but I suppose “Even troubles without warning are better than boredom, day by day”. I really did love that first opening to Magic Kaito. Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is X, Mr.X, and once again I have another ridiculous tale outlining the random situations I find myself in. Although, in this case, I may have willingly put myself into the thick of it unknowing of the potential backlash later. So, without further adieu, let the story begin!

It was such a cold and frigid day…oh… that day. It wasn’t quit snowing, but the icy wind blowing through the air was enough to chill you to the bones. Despite the weather, the only thing worse than the weather was the fiery anger and passion of this pesky rabbit beside me. “YOU ASSHOLE, WHY YOU DO THAT?!” as I heard Usagi asking me that question I couldn’t help but think to myself, Why indeed? As I tried to formulate an acceptable answer to get me out of this mess, I couldn’t help but think back as to how this whole mess got started… However, I am getting too ahead of myself here. So, let’s do a bit of backtracking and start from the beginning….

November 16, 2016, 7:49 pm Just a typical night of reading in the library, of course, that’s what I want to say but, “Hey X, does this sound good?”. However, I was mainly in the library helping my pal Usagi with her group project…again. For those of you who are new or are not aware, I point you to my (un)lucky night with Usagi explaining just how annoying and troublesome these events can get with Usagi. Like an idiot, I try to help her when I can. “Sentence sounds good and seems grammatically correct,” I said answering her question. This time Usagi had to do a group project where she would have to give a presentation on Urinary Incontinence. Now the question some may have is how did I fit into all of this? Well, it’s simple really, Usagi sucks at grammar so I unwillingly volunteered to help her fix her part of the presentation. However, what I didn’t know was the number of articles she needed to look through to validate her information. Guess which sap she tricked into deciphering the articles for her? Unfortunately, me. Whenever she came across an article that was difficult to understand she would give them to me in hopes of simplifying it so she can understand them better. In addition, Usagi would always have me look over her sentences in her Powerpoint and notes to make sure the sentences make both grammatical and logical sense. Honestly, I helped Usagi because I had nothing else better to do….and she was also complaining about her group members due to differences in opinion in the group. So, for some reason, I just couldn’t leave Usagi alone…

As the night progressed, Usagi was focusing increasingly on her presentation. Realizing there wasn’t much room for conversation, I quickly took out a book to read. The book helped pass the time as I quietly looked up to watch Usagi from time to time. It was mainly to make sure she wasn’t getting distracted from her task at hand. After a while, Usagi started to grunt from being irritated at the amount of work she was doing. “What’s wrong now?” I asked, closing my book. “I’m not sure how to direct the audience,” Usagi said. Looking puzzled, she explained to me that during the presentation they have a choice of presenting the project to either a patient or to the audience. To further explain, each group in the class had the choice to explain their diagnosis to either the class or a mock patient. Usagi was a tad bit annoyed that her group decided to do a presentation for the mock patient, but due to the wording of the presentation, it seemed too generalized as if it was made for the public rather than a singular patient. She tried to explain this to her group, but they dismissed her opposition to the wording. What a petty group… I thought to myself. I didn’t think much of her complaint, but I kept listening to her silently while looking at the computer screen she directed my attention to. However, I didn’t become completely engaged until Usagi said, “It’s annoying that we have to dress professionally while we present to” …. something very interesting. “Why? And what do you mean professionally?” I asked Usagi curiously. Turns out, Usagi’s teacher wanted the students to treat their project presentations as if they were at an important nursing conference. “What are you going to wear?” I asked fully engaged awaiting her response. “Probably a business suit or dress,” Usagi said offhandedly. As soon as she uttered those words, my mind kept repeating the last words she said Dress dress dress dress dress…Usagi in a business dress…. I WANT TO SEE IT!!!!

“When do you present?”

“November 21st”

“What time do you present?”

“Sometime after 2 o’clock.”

“Perfect, that fits right into my schedule.”

“Wait, why? What are you trying to do?”

“Shishishi, I just want to see how well you present your project,” I said with a playful smile

“You can’t, the teacher won’t allow it.”

“Then I’ll sneak in through the back door.”

“You can’t, the teacher will be sitting all the way in the back to make sure who is in and out.”

“Then I will disguise myself as a student”

“Not possible, there is no one that fits your description, besides Junior.”

“…….”

Allow me to explain, I’ve known Usagi for about a year and all through all that time I always see her wear either sweat pants, jeans, and shorts. However, I have never seen her wearing a dress once in person, not even a skirt, and since I knew it was a possibility of seeing such a sight I got pretty excited. My excitement only got more intense when Usagi bashfully said: “I’m gonna have to present in front of a lot of people, I’m afraid my face might turn red from embarrassment.” I had a slight pause as I listened to her words, the only thing echoing in my head was THAT I MUST SEE!!!!! I tried to plead with Usagi to let me in her class on the 21st, but she refused immediately. I really wanted to see her in a dress, but there didn’t seem like a chance of doing that… Except I’m just too stubborn for my own good.

Fast forward a couple of days, I had a bit of an interesting weekend, ranging from nearly getting stranded at a certain location, then getting into a run in with the cops over a suspected robbery. However, none that is important to the current story. Monday, November 21st it’s around 10:43 am I texted good luck to Usagi because the project had apparently worried her for a while. Especially the part how she and her group weren’t exactly agreeing completely. At 12:15 pm, I just finished my classes for the day and I am exhausted. The reason for my exhaustion is because I had recently bought Pokemon Moon version. So, I spent most of my night playing the game and enjoying the story, as a matter of fact, I was playing the game without a care after class just relaxing the way. However, in the midst of training my Torracat, I couldn’t help but get the feeling I had forgotten something very important. I didn’t think about it much as my tiring confusion was preventing me from thinking clearly at whatever important detail I may have been forgetting. I stayed in this mindless state of playing Pokémon moon for a while. The feeling didn’t sit right with me, but I decided to go to a cafe, because being exhausted AND hungry are a terrible combination. It was 1:15 pm, all I got from the cafe was 3 bags of Welch’s fruit snacks, personally, I think changing the bag size smaller decreased the quantity. So now I had to buy three packs just to get the same satisfaction of one which annoyed me thoroughly.

As I walked into the club room, while thinking What rip-off, to continue my Pokémon Moon adventure and possibly catch a nap. Few club members were already having a conversation, the conversation didn’t really have any merit to me at all so I was in the process of tuning them out until, “It’s about 1:30 right now, is anything going on at 2 o’clock?” this was said. The moment I heard this phrase, it acted like a trigger word for me. Immediately, I turned off my video game and begun to produce a very devilish grin onto my face. “It seems I have a much more pressing engagement,” I said with my grin not disappearing. I remembered exactly what I wanted to do and I proceeded to leave outside towards my next ‘adventure’. Despite my previous exhaustion and the weather being absolutely frigid, my excitement alone and the thought of what Usagi’s wardrobe will be was enough to keep me warm. Ask for food, I was shoveling fruit snacks into my mouth on my way to the building Usagi is said to present. I got there at 1:45 pm, with 15 minutes to spare I decided to wander around the building for some good vantage points. This merely helped to kill time as I was already familiar with the building. When it was getting close to time, I began to look for Usagi’s class, which was in the basement. Not the most ideal location for a group presentation, I thought to myself. I was beginning to think I was lost or late until I happened upon a classroom with a bunch of people seated. Obviously, the door was closed and I couldn’t just walk in unless I was sure. The classroom had two doors, both were at the side. One opened at the back of the class and the other opened at the front. I was first peeking at the back door, but I couldn’t get a good angle to see what was in front. So, I moved to the front door to see what was happening in the front, I couldn’t stay posted at the front door and look in, so I walked by to take a glance at what was happening as I walked by. As I walked by, I caught a glimpse of Usagi and her clothes…… I was stuck, I couldn’t move, completely frozen in place.

I stayed in such a state for a good five minutes. I had caught a glimpse of Usagi and what she was wearing. In that brief moment, and after that moment my thoughts erupted with only one declaration: I NEED TO FIND A WAY IN THAT ROOM! So, I dashed back to the back door to see if I could sneak in… Except not really, true to what Usagi told me I saw two teachers sitting at the tail end of the classroom. The even sat behind the back door in order to keep track of who gets in and out. This wasn’t too bad, except the look on their faces clued me in that they were taking careful attendance of the people in the class. This may be a bit of a problem… As I thought this, I was pacing around outside the door up and down the hall. The only idea I came up with on such a short notice was I need to have a legitimate excuse to be in said room. It was either that or else my existence would be purged the moment I try to walk into the room. The only problem with said plan was…. I DIDN’T HAVE A LEGITIMATE EXCUSE!! I mean, come on, all I wanted to do was look at my friend wearing an attractive dress while she talked about a medical condition…WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?! Evidently, it was, as I could come up with several good plans, but I had lacked certain materials needed in order to in act my elaborate ideas. As some of you may have guessed, I was extremely unprepared for this ordeal… COULD SOMEONE THROW ME A BONE HERE?! As if the heavens heard my plea, Major texts me saying he wants to grab a bite to eat. I was a bit hopeful as I tried to enlist Major’s help in this ordeal. However, that was short-lived because as I gave him directions to meet me to raise some hell, he got caught up with club duties. You have got to be kidding me… Needless to say, I wasn’t very happy about that. My brain was tapped of all ‘peaceful’ ideas to get in the room… I snuck one brief glance at Usagi presenting and even though I didn’t get a good look at her it was still nice to see her group doing well from what I saw. Silently wishing her more luck, an unhappy Mr.X walked back to the club room to meet up with Major… All while screaming “FUUUUUUCK!” all the way there…true story.

Back in the club room, Major conveniently finished the duties he was stuck with as soon as I showed up. I was NOT happy and Major noticed this immediately. “Uh wanna get something to eat?” Major asked cautiously. I was so far gone I just said “whatever” and wordlessly followed him to his car. When we arrived at Major’s car, he couldn’t help but ask me, “What’s the problem?”. However, still salty at my apparent failure I said: “shut up.” Taking the hint, Major dropped it, but I eventually told him as I didn’t want to come off as a jerk for no reason. See the thing is it wasn’t so much I wasn’t able to see Usagi in a dress (60-80% of the reason). It was the fact that because I couldn’t think of an alternative that I just turned tail and ran and not try to wing it… I was mad at myself because I thought I was getting too lax with myself, maybe losing my touch. I told all of this to Major and he immediately took a pragmatic stance on the matter.

“Why not just ask for a picture?”

“What?”

“Just ask Usagi to send you a picture of what she is wearing.” lol phrasing

“Because if I ask, I’m pretty sure she’ll say no…”

“That seems a little stuck up, but ok…”

“Though, I have never asked her directly”

At this point, Major took his eyes off the road to give me a stupid look as if I had lost my mind.

“ASK DIRECTLY!”

“Wait, are you sure?”

“ASK DIRECTLY!”

“But-”

“ASK DIRECTLY!”

Giving me no room to object, I took out my phone to text Usagi… Just as I was typing the question, she texts me at 2:25 pm saying “I want water!!” As I see her text my eyes turned into a slot reel saying JACKPOT! My devilish grinned formed and I merely responded to her saying “u want me to get it?” She said “yes” I can so use this as an excuse. I told Major the good news and tried to get him to turn back, but he and I were too hungry. I was only running on 3 packs fruit snacks. So ironically, we went for Chinese, while I was there I made sure to get two bottles of water. One was for me because the Chinese food was a bit salty and the other was for Usagi. As soon as we got our food, we didn’t even stop to eat. It was a literal grab and go, and shout out to Major and all those friends that are willing to put up with that one friend’s nonsense and weird antics. You, people, are awesome and amazingly tolerant. Throughout the entire time, Major was willing to hurry up to make it back before Usagi’s class ended just so I could get a glimpse of her in a dress. Now that’s true friendship.

We arrived back on campus, I gave my Chinese food to Major to hold onto. “Oi Major, hold on to my food for me back at the club and DON’T eat it. I gotta see a rabbit about a dress” As I said this I grabbed the bottled water and sprinted to Usagi’s class, and I have to say, I had a big grin on my face laughing all the way. So, I make it to the class, I instantly opened the door and walked into the class. Junior was sitting in the back of the room and saw me. We wordlessly exchanged glances at each other before we looked off. I was standing on the back trying to find where Usagi was sitting. I eventually found her, but she was sitting in the middle of the classroom and to make matters worse a group was also presenting at the time. I’m going to have to do this inconspicuously… With that thought in mind, I made my way quietly to Usagi, only to be stopped by her teacher. I came so close to my goal, there was no way I was going to let myself be stopped. The teacher thought I was lost, so I made up some excuse of why I was there mixed with the truth… I don’t even remember clearly what I said, all I knew was I wasn’t going to wait for her to stop and think about my excuse. So, I continued my way to Usagi and luckily there was an empty seat next to her. So, I sat next to her and gave her a good look, I got to say, I liked what I saw. I took a quick glance around and noticed people were taking notes at the presentation in front of the class. Not that it mattered to me as I paid no attention to the group presenting what so ever. “And you thought I couldn’t get in,” I said to Usagi in a low but smug tone. I quickly noticed a shift in her position as she seemed to slowly back away from me. What’s her problem? I didn’t get her reaction but I couldn’t stay long to figure it out. I presented Usagi with a water bottle as she requested. However, it wasn’t until I saw her nervous face taking the bottle saying “thanks…” That I noticed the majority of the class looking at me with Usagi. What’s worse is Junior began to laugh when he saw me give Usagi the bottle, which then followed by a whisper of “aww” some sighs of relief and more laughter. What the heck happened? Have they never seen a guy with a water bottle before? Noticing this bit of disruption, the teacher began to approach me. However, I was already hastening to make my exit as quick as I came. Teacher caught up with me as I was walking out the door asking me what I was doing. I merely said, “I was giving my friend something” and walked off. The first thing I did as I walked back was clasp my hands together and say “THANK YOU GOD”.

I finally make it back to the club room, greeted by Major. “How’d it go?”, Major asked while eating his Chinese food. I, still wearing a goofy smile on my face, gave him a thumbs up stating, “Mission Accomplished.” Then I sat next to Major eating my Chinese food as we talked with other club members laughing and listening to funny songs over the radio…. See that could’ve been a nice ending right there, but this is a story involving Usagi. In other words, those who have read my other stories involving that pesky rabbit should know, IT IS NEVER THAT SIMPLE OF AN ENDING. 3:43 pm rolls around and I am treated to a “you asshole” text from none other than Usagi herself. Where is this coming from? I was confused at this sudden declaration, so I told Major which resulted in both of us exchanging puzzled glances. “What did you do?” Major asked me curiously. I merely shrugged my shoulders saying, “Nothing”. Wanting more answers, I eventually asked Usagi for an explanation. Still confused at the current proceedings, I broke down what exactly happened in the classroom to Major. Even Major didn’t understand the problem. Then out of the blue random, Usagi starts calling me on my cellphone. I answered cautiously…

“Hello…?”

“YOU ASSHOLE!!”

“Where the heck is this coming from?”

“You caused a massive disturbance in class, it was so embarrassing!!!”

“What did I do? I was merely responding to my close friend’s plea”

At this point, I began to walk outside as I talked to Usagi.

“You didn’t have to go in my class you could’ve waited until my class was done to give me the water.”

“…….” I had no real rebuttal to this, so she went on.

“You even disrupted a group’s presentation, the teacher was so busy focusing on you, she couldn’t pay attention to the presentation going on. NO ONE DID!”

“No one told them to look at me, like they never saw a guy walk into the classroom before.”

“We’ll continue this later, right now I have to get changed.”

“Wait hold on! Where are you right now?”

“In the bathroom going to get changed, why?”

“Uh, can I see you for just a sec?” I wanted to see her so I can maybe get a picture of how she looked. She read my intentions and said…

“NOPE! You should have thought of that before you did what you did. Ok bye~~!”

“No, Usagi, wai-”

Yeah, she hung up on me and I wasn’t very happy about that. I was outside in the cold and I was jumping up and down like a fool swearing to the sky. Eventually, I calmed down and Usagi came out as I reclaimed my senses. Usagi walked up toward me in her usual attire of sweatpants and such… I let out a brief sigh and was about to say hi to her until I noticed how ticked off she looked. “YOU ASSHOLE, WHY YOU DO THAT?!” And thus, our tale comes full circle and we are back to where we started. I still have no idea what to tell her… So, I thought just to tell her the truth…sort of. “You asked for water, so as your friend I went to give it to you.” That answer didn’t satisfy her in the least and was still quite stern with me. When she cooled off she gave me a full explanation of what happened after I left her class. Ladies and Gentlemen, I suggest you get comfortable because I nearly lost it when I heard this. Apparently, the teacher and students were so distracted by my presence that hardly anyone paid any attention to the group that was presenting at the time. However, the nonsense didn’t end there. The teacher had put the room in a full-scale lockdown. She had locked the doors to prevent any more unnecessary guests from coming in and out. However, It wasn’t because it would be distracting to her and the students, oh no. Sigh~ It was because she was afraid a shootout was going to occur. Turns out when I walked in the classroom the teacher was afraid that I was going to shoot someone for two reasons: 1. Because I was mostly wearing black clothing at the time. Look, I like dark colors, especially black. Not to mention it was extremely cold that day so I even had a pair of black leather glove to wear with a black scarf and, obviously, a black jacket/hoodie. It was cold that day and I didn’t want to get sick. 2. This reason was the definition of utter nonsense. I had a lot of pockets…. That’s it, I was objectified because I had a lot of pockets. The reason is because I wore those baggy pants with big pockets and the side of each leg. I wore these because it was COLD. I didn’t want to freeze to death. The ironic thing is, it did occur to me that wear all black might be a red flag. So, I took off my gloves, hat, and scarf to put them in my pocket. I even made sure to take my hood down so my face could be clearly seen and that I wasn’t trying to look suspicious. It failed, miserably. It got so bad that after class the teacher stopped the whole class to figure out who I was and where I came from. Obviously, no one except two people, Usagi and Junior, knew who I was. However, Usagi was so embarrassed that she didn’t even want to acknowledge me at this point. Until someone pointed out that I gave something to her, then she was grilled with 20 questions to find out who the hell I was. After I hear this series of absurdities, I felt enraged. I was blatantly stereotyped and objectified, talk about another Grave Misunderstanding (you should totally click on that.) What drew me over the edge was the fact Usagi was trying to convince me to apologize. Long story short, that wasn’t happening. If the teacher’s claims made sense, I would have considered it. However, I can easily destroy these ridiculous claims.

Me wearing mostly black clothing. This is stupid claim and I’ll explain why. The people in Usagi’s class, giving presentations all had to wear professional outfits, like business suits and dresses. Now tell me, what are the most predominant colors for these kinds of outfits? Dark colors more specifically, BLACK!!! As a matter a fact, Usagi was wearing a black jacket as well, like the MAJORITY of the class. So, the teacher being concerned due to clothing was absolute horse shit, as the class was dyed in the similar color of clothing. The only thing I will admit is my style of clothes may have been questionable but come on!! Unless you’re the fashion police, who cares? 2. I had a lot of pockets which could have had a gun. Dear god, that is so asinine, follow me here. I grew up in questionable places and seen some shit, and for those of you who have as well or at least watch a gangsta movie. I have one question, WHO THE FUCK CARRIES A GUN IN THEIR POCKETS? Let me answer, nobody (that knows what they are doing and are not a noob) does this. Most people that try to conceal a gun carry it tuck in the front of their pants or the back. In addition to if they are more professional or carry authority, they would use a holster either visible at their side or concealed in the holster in their chest tucked under the side of their arm. Understand what I mean? This was utter nonsense. At this point, I began to wonder if there was a third reason I was accused because I’m bl… Well, it makes no difference now. Despite my well-placed argument, Usagi defended the teacher as being cautious and trying to protect the students. While I did understand that aspect and would have been willing to concede and apologize. Because of the absurd reasons, I was still going to pass on giving an apology.

Despite the issue with the teacher, I didn’t solve my issue with Usagi. She said she would forgive me if I were to give her food, so I did just that we went to eat. While we were eating and getting food and such she kept remarking how her presentation managed to go pretty well. She also stated how many people were looking at her and complimented the outfit she was wearing. I had a very sour look of jealousy on my face. Noticing this she asked the real reason I walked into her classroom. I relented and told her the truth and was I in for a shock. It turns out, Usagi was already planning to show me. Had I never done what did, she was going to meet up and eat with me while in her professional attire. She might’ve even let me take a picture. I had the most frustrated and dumbfounded look on my face. Major was right… The thought slowly crept into my mind, and boy was I livid. To make matters worse, my mother decides to call me as I was sulking. My mother was concerned as she hasn’t heard from me and was checking up. Noticing my irritation my mother asked, “What’s wrong?” I was going to dismiss it, but as I was doing so Usagi decided to make me suffer. “Tell your mom what you did,” Usagi said, demanding. I immediately objected until Usagi said, “Tell your mom or else I’ll tell her everything”. Fun Fact: Usagi and my Mom are friends on social media, how that happened was a story I rather not relive. The point was if Usagi told my mom it would be game over, but if I told my mom I could at least get away with her just teasing me…which is still bad but better than the alternative. So, I gave into Usagi’s threat and told my mother what happened. First, there was silence, then a huge roar of laughter. My mom’s laughter was so loud Usagi could hear and she was smiling at me while I was listening. My mom leaves with these final words before I hang up, “If you wanted to see her in a dress, just take her out to dinner”. My mother has been trying to ship Usagi and me together ever since Usagi and my Mom met, and it has been annoying to hear my mother’s taunts. After that comedy hour, Usagi sent me to get more food, we ended eating a flatbread pizza together. While eating, I looked at her laughing and smiling, and despite the entire nonsense and awkward circumstance, I found myself in, which was all for a stupid reason. “You looked very lovely today, Usagi.” One thing I knew for certain, I didn’t regret a single second of it.

Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, that was one of my many stories involving that Pesky Rabbit. Despite the and annoyances, she may bring at times, I still thoroughly look forward to having more fun and interesting stories with her and the rest of my friends in this New Year. I really do apologize for the long post and for going so long without any post. Important things came up, like Pokémon moon, final exam, and dealing with a bunch of unsavory people. Even now, Usagi loves bringing this story up as a means to annoy me. Sigh~ It can’t be helped. Moral of this story, always be willing to try the seemingly impossible even if the odds are stacked against you and always be sure to weigh your option as there might be an easier solution than the original. I probably should have just listened to Major from the start… Well, either way, that’s it for me, folks, feel free to share my works if you deem them worthy. I as Mr.X want to formally wish all you lovely readers to have a Happy Holiday. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to plan a dinner date, and with that, SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ENTRY.