Start with a mini bottle of Champagne Pink Pop. Pick it out in a pink bottle thinking it’s pink. Discover it’s not pink and be disappointed. Try champagne and be even more disappointed. Add orange juice to make it drinkable.

Try cheap stacked wine which comes in its own glass. Have low expectations. Have low expectations met. Feel foolish for trying wine which comes with a pull off lid.

Try Blood Orange Mimosa. Suspect it’s a headache in a bottle with a screw top lid, but love it anyway. Make your sister drink most of it after dosing it with vodka.

Graduate to bonafide liquor – making really strong mai tai and screwdriver. Decide to hop in the hot tub naked. Have to hang foot out of hot tub because of new foot tattoo (which effing HURTS). Have sister yell at you when you accidentally dip it in the water. Feel sheepish. Snap selfie anyway.

UPDATE: Get RAGING cellulitis (skin infection) from dipping foot in hot tub. Deal with your sister’s “I-told-you-so’s.” On antibiotics. Feel even more sheepish.

We took a leisurely drive from her home in Salinas to Paso Robles Saturday morning, checked into our hotel, and vegged for a few minutes before stepping into a luxury Escalade with our driver Melanie, whose job it was to squire us around town while we sipped wine.

We never got drunk but I certainly drank my limit in wine.

To note: we stopped first at J. Lohr, my family’s winery. When my parents invested in the winery during the 80s, they put us in a luxury bus and drove us down to tour the winery and estate. They even let my 16 year old sister and I drink wine, so I’ve always had a soft place in my heart for J. Lohr wines.

It was Yvonne’s VERY FIRST TIME wine tasting and she did great: swirl, nose, examine, swirl, nose again, sip, swallow.

The wines were delicious and I waked away with 4 bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon.

More delicious wines and we got a cheese pairing there too which was AWESOME!

Eberle next. Their symbol was a great boar which reminded me of this artwork on the playa in 2016.

It was time to enjoy some food, and the outdoor grill at Eberle served up delicious tri tip sandwiches, perfect for absorbing alcohol.

Our fourth stop was Sculpterra, and they had delicious wines along with amazing sculptures and artwork. I adored the mermaid sculpture out front and had a good time checking out all the other artwork there as well as their wines.

Finally, off to Tobin James, which was quite honestly, a little like walking into a rowdy bar in the wild wild west.

Their serving room actually is a historical stagecoach stop and has all the feels and character of a western-style saloon.

I promptly walked in, spotted the old taps, and asked if they served beer.

Start with a mini bottle of Champagne Pink Pop. Pick it out in a pink bottle thinking it’s pink. Discover it’s not pink and be disappointed. Try champagne and be even more disappointed. Add orange juice to make it drinkable.

Try cheap stacked wine which comes in its own glass. Have low expectations. Have low expectations met. Feel foolish for trying wine which comes with a pull off lid.

Try Blood Orange Mimosa. Suspect it’s a headache in a bottle with a screw top lid, but love it anyway. Make your sister drink most of it after dosing it with vodka.

Graduate to bonafide liquor – making really strong mai tai and screwdriver. Decide to hop in the hot tub naked. Have to hang foot out of hot tub because of new foot tattoo (which effing HURTS). Have sister yell at you when you accidentally dip it in the water. Feel sheepish. Snap selfie anyway.

UPDATE: Get RAGING cellulitis (skin infection) from dipping foot in hot tub. Deal with your sister’s “I-told-you-so’s.” On antibiotics. Feel even more sheepish.

We stayed out until midnight drinking a bottle of wine at the wine bar before moving on to Carry Nations for beer (me) and whiskey (him).

My date was lively, intelligent, and funny.

He was also very flattering and told me if he didn’t know better, he’d think I was no older than 35.

Sigh.

Love him.

I love that he’s a world traveler. I love that he was in the military. I love that he has a PhD. I love his smile and his funny accent.

But most of all I love kissing him.

We were standing face to face, comparing my height to his when he locked onto my lips and started kissing me.

It was so lovely to be kissed and kissed well. I lost myself in that kiss and melted like butter into his body. My head angled to the side and I moaned as I kissed him. Little aching moans.

There was definitely some chemistry there.

For the rest of the night he had a hard time keeping his hands and his lips off me. He kissed me at the bar. At the table. Walking to my truck. He even grabbed my hands with his as we were talking in the wine bar.

And before I left for the night, he arranged for our second date. Looks like we’re going out Friday. Dancing.

I got a message from him before he went to bed that night:

So there you have it… the first day I’m off dating restriction and I have a GREAT date with a WONDERFUL man who thinks I’m a GREAT kisser!

I had a Bloody Mary with my Scotch eggs while we discussed my love life and Barbara’s new business (Young Living, if any of you are interested in how essential oils can improve your life).

Then I ran off to my local pole dancing studio to watch their pole dancing exposition – approximately 20 some women doing burlesque, pole, sexy pole, hip hop, and ballet dance.

That’s where I had a few glasses of wine… to you know, get me in the mood to watch sexy women perform the most AMAZING dances with grace and athleticism.

Miss F is my favorite. A Bettie Page look alike with legs for days and a bod to give men heat palpitations, she can make everything look sexy – and she did to a gorgeous rendition of Portishead’s “Glory Box.”

I think the trick to pole dancing is to move slow and deliberately. Touch yourself. Make eye contact. And always always always work your booty.

The performance was an all female performance with an all female audience so the women were free to cut loose and really show their talents.

I think the safe environment really brings out the beast.

All manner of lingerie was on parade from hot pants and tutus to tassels and straps.

Loved every second of it!

Then my day concluded with a birthday party for my brother and I in downtown San Jose.

More wine.

All in all, it was a fabulous lazy Sunday and I couldn’t have crafted it better myself.

Incidentally, if any of you want to read about when I took a pole dancing class, the link is here.

Last weekend, I packed up my camping gear, grabbed my friend Kimberly, and we drove to Casa de Fruta to camp out at the Renaissance Faire.

We had a blast.

It took all of 30 minutes to set up camp with our neighbors helping – two Ren Faire musicians names Kevin and JK.

We started in on the Rum and Cokes and before we knew it we were swallowing a bottle of white wine with our lobster ravioli dinner. Followed closely by Kimberly’s signature jello shots made with marshmallow and cotton candy flavored vodka. Mmmmm.

We woke up the next morning slightly hung over but a breakfast set us straight. Then we got dressed in our Ren Faire finest and hit the festival.

We went to the Ren Faire with some friends who are Ren Faire veterans and knew where to go, what to do, and what to watch.

We drank beer from sun up to sun down, people watched, and in general managed to get involved in a few shenanigans.

After the festival closed, we stayed late to listen to a musical performance by the Brick Top Blaggers. It was dancing to their music that I met Stephan, who managed to finagle an invitation back to my campsite for dinner – an invitation I later cancelled.

But there you have it, one raucous weekend spent getting a little drunk and rowdy at the Nor Cal Ren Faire.