GOT garlic? In Chicago, Cub fans blame it on a goat. In Boston, it’s the Curse of the Bambino.

Not that we’re into mysticism, but neither can we claim immunity from spiritual inhabitation. Whatever, you read it here first: New York has a spell – a hex, a jinx, call it what you will – cast on it, too. It’s a genuine ooga-booga. The Cablevision Catastrophe. The Dolan Demon.

As long as Cablevision owns the Knicks and Rangers, neither will again win a championship. “Welcome to the World’s Most Famous Haunted Arena.”

A lot of words were wasted this week on whether Isiah Thomas was the right choice as GM of the Knicks. But it wasn’t a matter of who was chosen; it was a matter of who did the choosing.

Cablevision is unbeatable when armed with monopoly status. It can’t help but win when it owns the deck, the dealer and the casino. In its cable TV business, Cablevision does whatever it chooses and never loses. Its monopoly status is what allowed Cablevision the ability to purchase Madison Square Garden and all of its parts.

But it’s when those competitive situations arise – when its teams take the court or the ice – is when Cablevision can’t cope. It has no experience in playing fair, let alone succeeding in games fairly played. Even with its financial, big-market advantages, Cablevision hasn’t a prayer. It just isn’t very good at games that include referees, the untainted kind.

Now if Cablevision were able to purchase influence with the refs – if the refs were elected to their positions and could accept campaign donations the way politicians who shape cable TV’s rules and regulations can and do – it would be a different story. Cablevision knows how to spread it around, Howard Hughes style – to both sides of the aisle. The Knicks and Rangers would be a lock.

Forget about Isiah Thomas and whether he’ll succeed where previous Cablevision-appointed basketball and hockey executives have failed. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that Cablevision is cursed. It’s the curse of competition. Competition is to Cablevision what dawn is to vampires and water is to the Wicked Witch of the West.

* That triple-lateral, last-play TD by the Saints Sunday was replayed – here, there and everywhere – throughout the week. But not once did we hear anyone – including network football experts – point to the play’s most enabling and mind-blowing factor.

The play began with a pass to Donte Stallworth in the right flat. And it would’ve ended there had Jaguars’ CB Fernando Bryant simply wrapped his arms around Stallworth before tackling him or shoving him out of bounds.

Incredibly, however, Bryant went for the strip! Instead of trying to tie up Stallworth’s arms, he went for the ball, trying to force a fumble. Stallworth twisted away from Bryant and was able to lateral to a teammate.

Like a defender going for the interception instead of batting the ball down during a last-play “Hail Mary,” Bryant appeared to have no idea of what was in order at such a moment.

* Van Miller, 37 years the Bills’ radio play-by-player – the longest service by a broadcaster to an NFL team – packs it in tomorrow at New England. Miller, 76, never missed a game during his two terms (1960-71, 1979-2003).

Ted Robinson, an honest listen – especially appreciated by those who disdain self-promoters – has signed an extended deal to call MSG’s and Fox-NY’s Mets telecasts. This season he’ll work TV, only . . . So in Monday’s column, just before ridiculing Fox for misspelling Satchel Paige, I misspelled Mike Dunleavy.

Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton‘s co-star on Fox’s “The Simple Life,” was seated courtside at Nuggets-Lakers last week, when Fox Sports Net’s Bill MacDonald engaged her in a live, cross-promotional interview. Asked who her favorite player is, Richie said, “Kobe – because I want him to have sex with me.” Fabulous.

Believe it or not, there are still some foolish, badly deluded sports fans out there who believe that Latrell Sprewell, instead of cursing out Jimmy Dolan for trading him, should’ve been grateful to Dolan for giving him a shot and several million dollars when Sprewell was down and out.