Send me email updates about messages I've received
on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.By signing up, you certify that
you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP OF 9 years with a guy that's 9 years younger than me and we just had a baby 3 months ago,i love him but i really don't like bein'around him much anymore because it's always sex and it's starting to become very annoying to me,what should i do?

That's a hard questiong to answer because afterall he IS alot younger than you so you know he's going to still want it more frequently. Have you lost your sex drive? Maybe the best thing you can do is talk to him and ya'll come up with a mutual agreement on how much..So he's not getting too little and your not getting too much...Like say for instance if 3 times a week is good for both of you do that. Or whatever best fits the situation.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 1:45 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

This happens over and over again. When a relationship has been all about sex and then there is a baby resulting from the sex, the mother usually becomes more oriented toward other facets of life and the guy is still all about sex. I think it has to do with the "nesting instinct" that we women seem to have. I doubt that your guy will change. So I guess you have to decide if this is how you want to live your life from now on. I am sad for your baby. I don't think it has anything to do with his age, by the way. I've been married for a very long time and have found that a man's sex drive is pretty much constant throughout his lifetime.

i have the same problem with my hubby and we often fight over it. what i do is tell him that it makes me feel like a piece of meat and that i can't do it all the time. he claims we are newlyweds which we are but i still say so. i have developed a way to keep him more at bay. i promise him it will be another night and then do it. this works only for a little while cause i push that date aside. so if you can just say that you can do it on the 4th day of each week and stick to it that should work.

Oh, Mama, its not about the age. This is so common for any new parents. It such a transition. And the mothers tend to feel like they get all the physical contact they need from the baby, whether they realize it or not. And the fathers feel left out because men tend to not feel like they truly bond with their babies until they reach about 6 months or so (when they really interact and can respond to their daddy). I could type forever on this, but I really recommend finding articles for your self in parenting magazines or books on the subject to see what applies to you most. In the meantime, talk to you BF about all of this. You both need to be on the same page to make it work, but millions of parents go through this and they all get through it, so you can too. Good luck!