Tag: spiritual

When I started driving at age 16, I bought a little Toyota Tercel. It was old at the time. It was a little beat up, and if you wanted to make it up a big hill you had to turn the A/C off. But I didn’t care. I was proud of that thing.

I remember one day pulling in to a gas station to get a drink. I had half of a tank of gas left, but figured that since I was there, I might as well fill up. I noticed it took longer than normal to fill up. Thinking it was just a slow pump, I went on. A couple of weeks later, I was still at 3/4 of a tank but decided to fill up again. It took a long time again.

empty

As I pulled out, the gauge jumped from full to empty to full. I pulled over to the side of the road.

I didn’t know what was going on, and I was just praying I would make it home. As I looked down at the gas gauge again, it was full. Completely.

And I was confused. Completely.

The next day, I was on empty again. But before I could pull in to the station, the needle had gone back to full.

What was happening was the mechanism that controlled the needle telling me how much gas I had in the tank was broken. So on a 10 minute drive across town, I would go from full to empty a dozen times. It was maddening. And anxiety-producing.

When I thought I was full of gas, I’d been running on empty.

Are you running on fumes?

It’s entirely possible that you’re running on fumes but you don’t know it. It’s possible you could be out of fuel but think you’ve got a full tank. Cruising around town, you’re about to have to call a tow truck.

If you’re a leader, you’re in an even greater danger of not just taking yourself out of service, but taking others with you.

God has given us some gauges to help us know whether our spiritual tanks are full or not.

Sometimes they are broken (though more often than not, the problem is that we choose to ignore the warning signs). I’ve found that some of the best gauges are actually questions you can ask yourself.

5 ways to know you’re running on empty

1. How’s your family?
Start with this question. Because your family (or those closest to you) know you often better than you know yourself. And they’re a great indicator for you. If they’re worn out, but you don’t feel that way, your gauge might be broken. You may be physically, emotionally, and spiritually running them ragged. Check that gauge.

Our hearts deceive ourselves, and we need others to help us see what we’re blind to. Those that know us best can help. Have you ever asked them?

2. Are you growing more anxious?
The Bible says to be anxious about nothing, (Philippians 4:6-7) which is easier said than done. We can easily find ourselves anxious about everything. Finances, job security, spiritual growth, physical health, parenting issues, retirement, and tomorrow’s to-do list keep you up all night.

If you’re growing anxious, you’re running on empty.

3. Are you growing less patient?
Patience is a sign of peace. And peace is a sign of rest. And rest is a product of intentionally sabbathing.

Better a patient person than a warrior,
one with self-control than one who takes a city. – Proverbs 16:32

If you find yourself with a short fuse, with patience constantly out of reach, you’re closer to *empty* than you think.

And I don’t just mean “are you sleeping enough,” though that may be part of it.

Are you working so hard you need the rest? And resting so well you need the work?

5. Are you feeling less fulfilled?
Fulfillment comes from doing what God created you to do. That’s based on your spiritual gifts, your heart, your abilities, your personality and experiences (HN: Class 301 at Saddleback). So your interpreting a lack of fulfillment isn’t your job’s fault. Or your marriage’s. Or your local church’s. Or your home’s. It’s a by-product of a heart that’s searching for fulfillment in the wrong places. Here’s where life’s found:

And this is what God has testified: He has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have God’s Son does not have life. – The Apostle John, 1 John 5:11-12

A lack of fulfillment should signal to you that your gauge shouldbe on empty. Time to fill up.

I’m a Cincinnati Reds fan. And I’m a Tennessee Titans Fan. And I root for the UT Vols. Which means I’m always a fan of the underdog.

My team tends to be the one that Vegas says, “Bet against.”

As a Reds fan, I grew up in “The Nasty Boys” era: Norm Charlton, Randy Myers, and Rob Dibble, the three-headed closing pitching monster that did the heavy lifting in the late innings for the Reds in the late 80s/early 90s. Throw in a little offensive power like Erik Davis, Chris Sabo, and Paul O’Neill, and you’ve got a lovable losers team worth rooting for.

Even with all of that, they were the underdog in the 1990 World Series against the A’s. Which made their sweep of the A’s even that much sweeter.

I love rooting for the underdog. The guys that everybody counts on losing. The guys that are counted out before the game begins. The team that nobody gives a chance.

And don’t we all love rooting for the underdog? It’s no secret that our culture loves movies like Remember the Titans, The Bad News Bears, and Rudy. We love shows like The Biggest Loser. Because there’s a part of us that wants the “unlovable” guy to win. That wants the big bully to lose.

But why do we really love the underdog so much?

Because we are the underdog.

image credit: abcnews.com

In life, we feel like we’re the guy at the bottom.

We are the underdog

We were the one who was picked on at school.

We were the one who picked on others because we were insecure in ourselves.

We were the one whose marriage was doomed to fail.

We weren’t the one “most likely to succeed.”

We were the ones that nobody thought would be a good parent.

We were the ones that almost failed out of shop class.

We were the ones that never could get the girl.

We were the ones that were made fun of.

We were the nerds.

The goof-ups.

The forgetful.

The lazy.

The cheap.

The funny-looking.

The ugly one.

The one with the broken family.

The one with the addiction.

The one that was slow.

The overweight one.

The one with the lisp.

The dumb one.

The one who couldn’t dance.

We’re not any different spiritually, either.

Spiritual underdogs

Spiritually speaking, we’re the underdog, too. The Bible says that we are

dead (Romans 5:12, 19)

disobedient (Romans 11:32)

dumb sheep (Isaiah 53:6)

Like a thorn (Micah 7:2-4)

worthless (Romans 3:10)

Not good (Luke 18:19)

Evil (Ecclesiastes 9:3)

dumb (Jeremiah 10:14)

unable to save ourselves (Colossians 2:13)

The Bible paints a picture of us not of ones who are on top of the heap, righteously fighting for the good of our souls. We’re made out exactly the opposite. And if we’re honest with ourselves, doesn’t life feel like this? As much as we try, we feel further from God. As hard as we work, life still doesn’t make sense. As much as we want to do the right thing, we stumble into the wrong thing. We’ve never drifted into doing the right thing. We continuously drift into that thing that we don’t want to do. (Romans 7:19)

The Bible doesn’t paint a picture of us that we haven’t seen before. We look at it in the mirror each and every day.

We love to root for the underdog because we are the underdog.

Which makes the grace of God that much more beautiful.

I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. – Luke 15:18-24

It’s time we embrace our weaknesses. And turn back to the God who saves the weak, the dead, the dumb, the blind, the maimed, the bleeding, the wicked, and the wanderers. And find He’s running towards us with open arms.

If you want accountability in your life, you’ve got to take responsibility.

Nobody will do that for you. Others can pour into you, teach you, model for you, and share resources with you. But if you want accountability, you’ve got to take that responsibility on yourself. I’ve asked people to help me with certain aspects of my spiritual life. Sometimes it’s “worked.” Many times, it hasn’t. But I’ve learned some principles along the way that have helped ensure success.

8 principles in seeking spiritual accountability

1. Ask for it.

If you don’t ask, nobody will respond. You need these deep relationships that help you with your personal spiritual growth.

2. Help define what it needs to look like.

Don’t just assume that if you ask someone, they’ll instantly know what accountability needs to look like for you. You have to help set the paramaters. How often? What will you talk about? What questions should they ask you?

3. Be vulnerable and share your story.

Otherwise, how can someone else help? If they don’t know who you are, where you’ve been, and the weak spots in your life, they’ll have no idea how to help you grow.

4. Take a risk.

You’ll never know if the person on the other end, that you’re asking to step into that relationship with you, is 100% trustworthy. This is a step of faith, not a step of pre-knowledge.

5. Remember that accountability is a two-way street.

This isn’t a cure-all solution. You’ve got to be doing the difficult task of working on yourself and your own shortcomings. Having someone “hold you accountable” doesn’t assure you’re accountable. You’ve got to continue to actively pursue that relationship, and be open and honest with where you are at all along the way.

6. Give the other person the room to say, “No.”

This is a big responsibility that you’re asking someone to. Give them the freedom to say that this is not the right season for them. Forced accountability rarely works. Both parties have to be willing to step in and do the hard work.

7. You have to continue to drive the relationship.

Don’t expect that you can ask once, share your story, and the other person will then magically follow up with you exactly when you need it. You’re the one asking for accountability. You need to be the one driving this relationship.

8. Ask for grace.

Since accountability isn’t a cure-all, there’s a good chance you’ll mess up again. In a big way. And this is where many “accountability partners” fall apart. If you’ve messed up, you think, “I can’t possibly be honest about this with him now.” And he’ll think, “I guess I’ve failed at holding him accountable.” What needs to happen is what happened in the beginning: grace. Set out from the beginning this idea that if failure happens, grace is the knee-jerk response.

You need someone to spur you on. (Hebrews 10:24) You’re too weak on your own to fight sin, insecurities, and the battles that rage against you doing what God’s calling you to do. You need someone who’s got your back. You need someone who is going to encourage you on the good days and the bad. You need a warrior who won’t give up on you, who knows where you’re headed, and is willing to walk through the dark and the light to help you get there.

So encourage each other and build each other up – 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Do you have someone who’s intentionally encouraging you and helping hold you accountable?

Have you seen this kind of relationship misused? Where one (or both) parties expected too much?

Kevin Na, 27 year old PGA Tour golfer from South Korea, turned pro at age 17. He skipped his senior year of high school. He’s no slouch of a golfer.

He was playing in the PGA Tour’s stop in San Antonio, the Valero Texas Open. During round 1, on the 9th hole, Na had…um…one of those holes. If you’re a golfer, you know what I mean. It’s one of those holes where nothing goes right, and you feel like you have no clue what you’re doing. You begin to wonder why you’re even playing golf, and if in fact you have ever played before.

After going right, into the trees, off of the tee, re-teeing, going right again, and proceeding the knock it around in the woods for a while, Na finally sunk a 6-footer for a cool 16. He set the record for the most strokes in a PGA tour event on a par-4.

Here’s his meltdown.

But here’s the rest of the story. Na turned and played the back nine at -3. He didn’t give up, even after an epic meltdown! Here’s what he said in an interview:

“I was pretty proud of the way I handled the situation. And after that, I shot -3 on the back nine.”

That takes some courage, doesn’t it? Likely many people would’ve just walked off of the course and quit the tournament. They would’ve packed up their bag and been done for the day. But not Na. He knew he still had work to do.

Maybe you’ve felt like Na.

You’ve had an epic meltdown. You’ve failed your work, your church, your home, your family. And it feels like it’s time to hang it up. Call it quits. Give up on any significant dreams or goals. And just give in to a life of insignificance.

But thankfully, God’s in the business of restoration. And He loves to redeem His people. He’s done it throughout history. And He can do it again in your life.

Na may have still missed the cut. But he didn’t quit.

You may have lost your job, your career, and some significant relationships in your failure. You may feel like there’s nowhere to go from here.

But don’t quit. If you’re still alive, God has plans for you on this Earth.

Take a step of faith in the right direction.

Thankfully, God hasn’t quit on you.

Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. – God (Hebrews 13:5)

Why you won’t like my small group

Nobody’s perfect. Our group is rather messy…in fact, much messier than I ever thought it would be. If your life is clean and put together, and messiness frustrates you, you’ll hate our group.

We celebrate small steps, not just the ‘huge’ ones. And small steps may seem insignificant to you, so if you’re not willing to get excited over a step towards Jesus (no matter how seemingly insignificant), you’ll not feel at home with us.

There’s no teacher. Just a facilitator. And the facilitator doesn’t have all of the answers, so if it’s merely answers you’re looking for, mosey on.

We talk about challenging stuff. And I don’t mean that we debate obscure theological dogma. I mean that we work to apply the Scriptures to our lives. If you love a great, obscure theological debate, you may not enjoy our group.

We expect full participation. Nobody in our group is lazy. In one way or another, every member participates, and is vital to the success of the group as a whole. If you want to be a lazy sponge, don’t join us.

We know each other’s stories. No hiding in our group. Our group kicked off its first month by encouraging everybody in the group to share their faith story. Comfortable? Nope. This group’s not for you.

We’re diverse. If you’re looking for people that are just like you, who look, smell, act, read the same books, live on the same side of town, have the same number of kids…keep moving. You’re not going to find that here.

Our group is going to end soon, and I’m going to ask each group member to take a step of faith and lead a new group…each one of them. No moss will be gathering with us. If you like moss, find another group.

We serve together. Don’t want to serve? That’s fine. Just don’t get frustrated with us when we ask you to join us in making a difference in our community.

We have fun. Every week. We laugh so hard that we snort. We play games, share stories, and study the Bible…all while having fun. I wrote more extensively about the importance of having fun in small groups HERE. If you don’t like having fun, you’re an old codger. And old codgers don’t last long in our group.