How to stop self-sabotage

Self-sabotage can happen to all of us from time to time; you might start procrastinating, you may become indecisive, you may doubt yourself or even fall prey to substance abuse.

This kind of behaviour can happen when you’re under too much pressure or have too little motivation. Chances are, all of your behaviours have the same underlying cause. For example, if you put things like important phone calls off at work, it may be because you lack confidence in your abilities.

Here we look at ways you can recognise your own sabotaging behaviours, and stop them.

Recognise the pattern

The first step here is to recognise your own self-sabotaging pattern. This means keeping an eye out for your ‘non-confronts’. These are the tasks you do instead of the tasks you really need to do. For example, at work, instead of making that important phone call, you might tidy your inbox or organise paperwork. These things will give you an excuse when you fail to make the phone call, you’ll tell yourself you were simply too busy.

Think about your own non-confronts and note down when you do them.

Break the habit

When you recognise that you’re doing a non-confront – stop it. Think about why you’re doing it. What are you trying to avoid? Are you afraid of rejection or failure? Is it because your work is unfulfilling or unsatisfying? Think about the consequences of your actions – will you feel angry or upset that you’ve wasted your time?

Spend time with positive people

If you want to change, it helps to surround yourself with people you admire and those who have the lifestyle you aspire to. You may want to expand your social circle, this can help open you up to opportunity and feel more motivated.

Get back on track when you lose your way

Perhaps the most important step in stopping self-sabotage is to recognise those moments when you lose sight of your goals. Notice when this happens and change the pattern to get back on track.

When you self-sabotage, you are moving away from the person you really are. Do whatever it takes to cultivate your talents, and leave any self-sabotaging behaviour behind you.