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7 Ways You're Hurting Your Daughter's Future

5. You give Dad all the physical tasks around the house. It might be easier to let the man of the house open the pickle jar or fix the squeaky door, but we bet you could do these things too if you put your mind to it.

What this could mean for her future: “It’s important for parents to consciously challenge typical gender-specific tasks,” says Bogue. “Especially those that communicate that women are weaker than men, and that they are ‘caretakers’ rather than ‘doers,’ ‘fixers’ or ‘providers.’”

How you can avoid this: Demonstrate for your daughter that you handle important financial tasks–like these that every mom should do–and that you can cut the lawn and open pickle jars (run it under hot water and tap the lid on the counter–works every time). Also avoid handing out chores according to gender. Assign mowing the lawn and taking out the trash to your daughter, while asking your son or husband to do the dishes and vacuum the living room.

6. You only let her spend time with other girls.While sending your daughter to an all-girls school isn’t the only place where this issue could play out, it’s still worth mentioning that there have been studies pointing both directions on whether single-sex schooling is actually more effective for girls. One study showed that graduates of single-sex schools had higher SAT scores and confidence, and better academic engagement. But another report published last fall upended the status quo, finding that all-girl schools not only don’t graduate more accomplished students, but that single-sex schools breed children more likely to believe in gender stereotypes.

What this could mean for her future: It’s not just about whether your daughter attends an all-girls school or not–the issue extends into her life outside of school as well. Studies actually show that not only do preschool-age children tend to self-segregate by sex, but that segregation leads to the development of different sets of social skills, styles, expectations and preferences–none of which will help her someday break into the board room.

How you can avoid this: If your daughter is surrounded by tons of girlfriends at school, with nary a boy in sight, try encouraging friendships with boys outside of school, with neighbors or kids of your own friends. For young children, especially, it’s important to arrange play dates with boys as well as girls, invite boys to your child’s birthday parties and other outings and unleash her on the neighborhood basketball court or a co-ed sports team. She’ll learn that she can do everything boys can do … and more.

7. You criticize your own body, and/or other women’s bodies. Eating healthy is a must for every mom and her daughter (which is why we have healthy recipes for you!), but you don’t want to cross the line into body criticism.

What this could mean for her future: By talking in front of your daughter about your diet, how you need to lose a few pounds or criticizing other women’s clothing choices because of their body shape, you communicate that a woman’s body needs to look a certain way in order for her to be considered likable and successful.

How you can avoid this: “It is really critical that we embody the behaviors and attitudes about ourselves that we want our daughters to feel about themselves,” says Bogue. Demonstrate what healthy eating looks like: balanced meals chosen for their nutrition and energy needs. Avoid behaviors like buying low-fat, processed foods and skipping meals, which are unhealthy and ultimately unsuccessful ways to lose weight at the expense of your health.

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Great list! For number 4, I can think of no better resource for “redefining for her what a being a princess means” than the guide to independent princesses created by A Mighty Girl — http://www.amightygirl.com/mighty-girl-picks/independent-princess — best collection of strong princess books ever!

Females currently outperform males at every level, from grade school to graduate school. Boys are 30 percent more likely than girls to drop out of high school and college, according to the National Center of Education Statistics.

-In 2011, young men’s SAT scores were the worst they had been in 40 years.

-Boys account for 70 percent of D’s and F’s given at school.

-Research shows guys aren’t interested in being husbands, fathers or the head of the household.

-Boys are four to five times more likely than girls to have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. Two-thirds of students in special education programs are guys.

-The average boy spends 13 hours a week playing video games. The average girl spends 5.

-The average high school boy spends two hours watching porn every week.

-Researchers claim that internet pornography is hurting young boys’ ability to form meaningful romantic relationships because they objectify their partner.

-It’s predicted that 60 percent of bachelor’s degrees will go to women by 2016.

-63 percent of men surveyed said they had a lack of motivation because of mixed messages from the media and society on their role.

-70 percent of young men surveyed said their generation wouldn’t be as smart or innovative as their peers in other First World countries.

Don’t disagree with with you – to a point. Many children of both sexes have parents who have wimped out, or worse, have just one parent who’s consistently in the picture. Either parents indulge their children, or they are absent from their lives – maybe because they’re trying to eek out a living. Many children today have mothers who never married. If they have a dad hovering somewhere in their lives, he probably isn’t going to be a shining role model. He also surfs porn, spends lots of screen time with the NFL and and has a string of ladies, none of whom he’ll commit to. They don’t want to commit to him, either. Charles Murray’s recent book on the subject, “Coming Apart,” is disturbing and, I am afraid, very spot-on.

This is why uncles, grandfathers, coaches and other men are so important in children’s lives. Too many women think they can raise children without men and too many men feel they have little value in a child’s development. Sad!

Sure is funny that despite all of those data, men are still in positions of power, perceived to be smarter, more capable, and intelligent. They make more money. They have better jobs. They have more power. They’re not shamed and valued for their bodies every day of their life from their exit of the womb.

Give me a break, and stop acting like someone is cutting off your penis here.

I agree. It’s mind-boggling that statistics show women and girls outperforming men and boys, yet the men still earn more for their subpar performance.

Though, August also has a valid point. We HAVE been talking about these same issues for a long time, and the problem still exists. Part of the problem is that we talk about it a lot, but what are we DOING about it? We shouldn’t wait another 20 years for babies just being born to enter the workforce to effect change. Instead, if women don’t negotiate well, it’s time to learn to do it and do it well. While women might not like conflict, male bosses also don’t like conflict, especially when they will be the one dragged into the courtroom for discriminatory hiring and wage practices. It’s not even that hard. Do your fact-finding. When you walk into the boss’ office, you’re not asking for what you feel you deserve, you’re asking for what you know others are earning for the same job. I’ve done that successfully after becoming aware of discrepancies both in pay and rank at hiring. I went in with the salaries of the men, their credentials at hiring and at the time I was asking for salary equity, my credentials at hiring and then, our current workloads and responsibilities, and laid it on the line that it needed fixing. It can be hard negotiating going into a job when you don’t have access to salary information to know what is reasonable to request, but if you get into a job and start talking to coworkers and find there’s a huge discrepancy, it’s very easy to walk in with facts and figures. Then it’s not much of a negotiation beyond asking, “Will you make this right?” You really don’t need to add the, “…or should I retain an attorney” part, because by the time you’ve lined up the evidence, they know that is next.

Great point, August. Why is it that women systemically make different choices than men? Is it because they have a “bad choice” area in their frontal lobes?

No, perhaps it is because of all of the things discussed in this article, women are primed and expected to behave a certain way, and men like you LOVE to perpetuate those systems because they simultaneously increase your power and decrease ours.