Memorable Bad Dates

Eighth Grade: went to a Tyler Perry movie with a "boyfriend" who did not like holding my hand. We were accompanied by his Mom, Dad, brothers, and his best friend. He still called it a date.

I would later find out that he is very gay. No hard feelings.

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Sophomore year of high school: agreed to go on a date with a classmate. On the day of the date I ran a 103 degree fever. Did not want to go see our schools extremely white version of Rent. He insisted. I had a terrible time and left him there while my mom picked me up.

He told everyone in our gym class the next day that we had had sex and I was not only a slut, but a shitty one who couldn't have sex to save her life. Very hard feelings.

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First year of college: went on one date with a security guard who saw me at the movie theater ticket booth and "liked my smile." 2 minutes into the date he described how his Polish family died in a fire and he was adopted by American parents at a young age. This was heartbreaking but I could not ignore the fact that we had nothing in common.

Also he criticized the way I ate my burger. Like, damn dude.

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Second year of college: went on a third date with a promising ginger dude who shared an interest in film and breakfast. He said, "we should do this again" and then never responded to my future texts.

I know we met on Tinder and I shouldn't have cared, but I was actually a little heartbroken. I guess I should just be glad he didn't assault or catfish me.

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Third year of college: six months into my first serious relationship my then boyfriend told me that he had not requested any days off work to see my family for Thanksgiving. I started crying in a fancy Indian restaurant. It was embarrassing. I told him that that was perfectly okay and made sense.

It was the first moment I realized I had stopped being a priority in his life. We broke up three weeks later.

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Now: I have never had a bad date with my current boyfriend. He makes me candles and baked goods and must be protected.