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Alicia Keys had an appearance on the David Letterman show sometime this week and was looking really hot but something was amiss. At first I couldn’t put my finger on it but after careful examination I came to one very special conclusion, her ass is not a problem. Alicia’s ass is stunning and by stunning I mean that I would be in that ass all night if she asked me to, rim job included. Damn, that is one fine ass. But something else was bothering me about the way she looked, her dress was so tight that it left nothing to the imagination, and don’t get me wrong she looked banging in it. And then it hit me, her itty bitty titties do not match the perfection that is the rest of her body. They look like orangutan titties and for Alicia that is a travesty. She could be the perfect woman, except for the crazed racism that she exhibits, but her titties ruin it for me. I for one am going to start an online petition demanding that Alicia get a tit job so that she can live up to her potential. She could be the total package but of course she has too much integrity and love for self to go under the knife, damn it Alicia why can’t you be a spoiled rich white girl with no self esteem, damn you Alicia, you broke my heart.

For those of you that have not yet heard Alicia Keys has admitted that she is crazy. Okay, not really, but she has admitted in believing that the government is responsible for not only the assassination of Tupac and Biggie but also for the creation of “Gangsta Rap”. Now let me get this straight, the government created the image of groups such as NWA, looking at who Dr. Dre was, you might believe that argument.