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by
Grieving Gus

Probably the only town in America where the local TV station chose to air Aljazeera coverage and commentary of 9-11 the week of the 10th anniversary.

Amherst can be distinguished from other towns in the U.S. by the same name in several ways: 1) the "H" is silent; 2) your neighbors' sexuality is made your business; 3) the monstrous sense of entitlement leaves visitors breathless and dumbstruck; 4) the clergy preach Legalism or Humanism instead of the Gospel; 5) defiance is the prevailing sentiment, and 6) the residents believe they are the holy standard by which all other humans should be judged.

Amherst, Massachusetts is the best place to make one's disrespectful, rebellious dreams come true.

"We're the People's Republic of Amherst, MA, and we're going to secede one day, just you wait!"