And before we begin, here’s a disclaimer of sorts in case some people get their panties in a twist agn over the massively stupid shit I write:

YES MY JAPANESE IS SHIT. YES I WAS BAKED WHEN I PLAYED SHIGURE AND SOME OF SENGE’S ROUTES. YES I MAKE SHIT UP ALONG THE WAY. YES MY WRITING IS SHITTY. NO, I AM NOT IGN OR GAMESPOT. NO, MY POSTS ARE NOT OBJECTIVE OR UNBIASED. NO I AM NOT SORRY FOR HAVING A DISGUSTING CRASS SENSE OF HUMOUR. NO, I AM NOT WORTH GETTING ALL WORKED UP OVER I CERTAINLY DON’T WANT YOU WASTING YOUR TIME AND BREATH ON ME. SMOKE A JOINT, LOVE AND PEACE, PLEASE AND THANK YOU <3

This game is set in the TAISHOU era so sometime in the early 1900s. Kyou’s from a noble family in the countryside and decides to go to Tokyo for university. His pops tells him that their family sword’ll protect him cuz legend has it that there’s some God or some hobo camping inside the blade. Kyou reaches Tokyo, where his uncle gives him a bigass house to stay in.

That night, Kyou has a nightmare, a flashback of his childhood. Since a fever that almost killed him, he’s been able to see the dead and remembers a time when he was heading home but got stalked by some creeper dead lady the entire time. Kyou wakes up in a sweat before going to the city to buy some senbei and there, meets MISAKI. Misaki shows up outta nowhere when Kyou breaks his senbei in half and the guy freaks out, thinking Kyou broke a bone or sth. Oddly enough, Kyou feels some nostalgia with Misaki, who asks about his sword, flirts with him some before telling him they’ll meet again.

Kyou continues on his way and this time, meets some SHIGURE who’s getting chased by faction 1 soldiers, led by Sergeant GOLDILOCKS, and then another faction of soldiers, lead by Sergeant GAYdilocks <– Obviously I have no naming sense

Shigure

Shigure’s the young head of a magical organisation called THE 5 DICKS (5D). For a leader, he gets pretty rash but is very straightforward and just wants to do what he thinks is best for his nerkerma. At first I was like “wtf poser” when I saw him cuz he carries 5 fucking blades around but you only ever see him use one like Master Yi from league but apparently each blade is for a different purpose *coughposercough*

Because Kyou’s all noble and has been taught the whole noblesse oblige stuff, he can’t help but hunt down Shigure to find out more abt dead stuff. Shigure doesn’t have the heart to turn down stupid naive Kyou so he takes Kyou to his secret 5 DICKS hideout and tells him that this organisation is made up of people who can see the dead and for years, they’ve been kinda like contract workers who help people send the dead on their way.

Everything’s been fine and dandy till one day, the army goes after 5D. 5D gets ambushed under the pretense of work where the members got killed and captured while the head (YUUMA) joins the soldiers. Shigure mad as fuck so he wana kill Yuuma and retrieve his group members

Kyou decides that this is a wonderfully noble cause so pledges allegiance to Shigure, who teaches our protagonist some simple magic spells and Kyou starts staying at Shigure’s place. They launch a failed rescue mission because when they bust into where their imprisoned 5D members should be, they find out that the soldiers have REMOVED their souls and sealed them into the curtains rofl or some trippy shit like that and 5D can’t return home with fucking bits of cloth. While 5D was gone, the army also somehow managed to hold all the 5D children and old ladies captive too. Before the soldiers can rape the rest of 5D, Yuuma lets them escape and tells Shigure to gtfo and be free already.

Shigure’s horribly confused and even more mad at Yuuma and decides that he needs a HARD, MUSCLY MAN LAP to calm down on so he plops his head down on Kyou’s lap and bitches and rants about fucking Yuuma fucking shit up while Kyou’s like “lol this is like, so gay”and Shigure’s right hand man, Omi, comes in and is like “yeah man this is so homo lol but k”.

Shigure doesn’t see the enormous amount of gay in his actions and gets more gay when he decides to flash his junk while taking a bath with Kyou, who’s like “lol why u so gay”. Shigure gets even more gay and decides to start massaging Kyou’s skinny chest and wonders why Kyou doesn’t have boobs 何でだろうね

Kyou decides that he can’t take this homo stuff anymore so he runs home but Shigure can’t take hints and stalks the poor boy. Inside Kyou’s room though, is Sergeant Gaydilocks who has been harbouring a lusty mancrush on Kyou ever since the latter managed to cut off some of his luscious locks in an earlier fight. Gaydilocks demands that Kyou become his sex slave and serve him instead OR HE WILL KILL ALL THE 5D MEMBERS AND CHILDREN HE CAPTURED, but Kyou’s srsly had enough of all this homo so tells Gaydilocks “I LOVE THE PUSSY NOT DA COCK”. Shigure busts in just in time to see Kyou get stabbed by a furious Gaydilocks, who does the whole “IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU THEN NO ONE CAN” psycho shit and Omi comes in to drag the two of em out.

Kyou is unconscious for 3 days and wakes up to Shigure holding his hand. Kyou’s like “dude srsly staaahp this is so gay” but then decides that his noblesse oblige duties extend to fostering beautiful gay relationships with those less fortunate than him so relents. Shigure beats himself up over Kyou’s wounds and when Kyou’s still like “NO I NOT LEAVE U”, Shigure vows to protect Kyou for life.

END 1

For the next couple of days, Shigure stalks Kyou nonstop wherever the poor guy goes, whether it be to the loo (”HEY U NEVER KNOW U MIGHT RUN OUT OF TISSUE OR STH”) and helps the guy change and shit. One night, Kyou wakes up with a raaaaaging stiffie so starts fapping and moaning like a cherry boy despite his best efforts to keep it down CUZ SHIGURE IS SLEEPING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM. Just as he’s about to fire his load into the beautiful night sky, there’s a shitstorm of pain around his stomach and Kyou’s like “oh yeah i got stabbed cumming is going to hurt LOL OOPSIE”. His cry of pain wakes up Shigure, who’s like “WHO BE TOUCHIN MA BB KYOU” and here’s a wonderfully awkward scene where Kyou’s just gaping like some dumb goldfish while his hard meatstick is in his hand. Before Kyou can shoot pepper spray into hentai Shigure’s eyes, Shigure pounces on Kyou and starts giving the guy a handjob, saying that “I SAID I WOULD TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU UEHEUHEUHEUHEUHEUHUEHUE”

Shigure acts completely normal about it the next day and Kyou forces himself to as well, cuz Shigure prolly does this with everyone lolol dah fokin sluuuuttt

Kyou recovers and tells Shigure that he should meet up with Yuuma and talk stuff over cuz he really thinks Yuuma isn’t a bad guy. They find this letter in one of the old rooms that dates back to about 10 yrs ago, when Yuuma became the head. It has some stuff about a family being slaughtered in village Higurashi and when Kyou asks what Shigure knows about this village, Shigure says that’s where he was born. Shigure tells Kyou that he was seen as a freak when he was younger. Shigure wasn’t even 10 when he decided to had to leave so his fam would be left alone but when he joined the 5DICKS, even the elders wangsted about him being nothing but trouble so Shigure thinks he mus tbe some kinda doom bitch. Kyou grabs him and tells him to stfu none of this emo shit so Shigure thanks him, then asks for a good luck charm for tmr’s meeting with Yuuma and kisses Kyou. The whole thing becomes a makeout sesh where the two awkwardly go like “YEAH IT WAS JUST FOR LUCK K”at the end lol

So turns out 5D has been kidnapping powerful ESP kids or some shit and then when their families came, 5D would take out the families to shut them up. Yuuma tried to stop this from happening but the elders told him to stfu so he did nothing. Anyway, the whole incident between 5D and the Soldiers was just an accident but because so many died, everyone got all mad so Yuuma joined to fix shit and also to find the soul of his friend who died in that explosion.

Anyway, Sgt Gaydilocks comes to fuck stuff up and unleashes this hell fusion monster made of all the dead 5D members he kidnapped and shit. bamf Kyou saves the day and the group return. Kyou and Shigure get all mushy with each other, where Kyou talks about how they’ll have to be apart once this stuff blows over cuz Kyou’s got uni and Shigure’s got 5D. Shigure gets all sad and tells Kyou that he doesn’t want to be apart from him ever and tells Kyou to say it too, even if it’s just for now. Kyou flips cuz that’s such a halfassed thing to say and he’d never say sth like that while knowing that he can’t be by Shigure’s side –

「許すのは一人だ。一人って決めたら一人なんだ」

心を許す

存在を許す

身を許す

許したいのは、一人しかいない

OMG KYOU YU SO PRECIOUS <3

And Shigure then goes

「だったらー俺をその一人にしてくれ」

Oh fuck this I’m done I’m grinning so much it hurts STAAAAAHP IT

And then next morning, Shigure lols about Kyou not being able to stand up – he’s heard about it but he’s never met anyone who really couldn’t get up. Kyou’s all like “OH YEAH YU COMPARIN ME TO YO OTHER EX BOI TOIZ”and tells tha mofo that Shigure is his only now so keep his dick in check. Omi joins in and lectures Shigure for being an impatient fuck and forcing Kyou rofl

The big hell monster Senge made comes back and goes berserk so Shigure and Yuuma send it back to hell. This uses up a shit ton of Yuuma’s power or sth and he starts fading away because he was already pretty much dead – the explosion incident back then actually near killed him but he used a revival spell to hold his body together. Shigure starts sobbing like crazy and tells the fucker to not die and to come back and Yuuma tells him that he gave Shigure his name not only because they found him on a rainy day – Shigure also means “tears” and just like how rain and tears will eventually stop and be replaced by the sun, he hopes Shigure will find the power to move on and smile again

Some years pass and Kyou’s graduated and become some sort of business man for 5D rituals. 5D is going strong with Shigure doing ritual shit but Kyou gets jealous after Shigure had to do some marriage ritual thingy idk. Anyway, Shigure gets down on one knee and proposes to Kyou, telling him that Kyou’s the only for him.

END 2

Shigure announces his plans to take down Gaydilocks where Kyou’s like ” U STUPID FUCK WE DON’T HAVE THE MANPOWER’‘ while Shigure’s just like ”IDC DYING IS NOTHING TO THE 5D HEAD LIKE ME UR STOOPEED” and he storms off. Kyou runs after Shigure but the two have some stupid swordfight which Shigure ends up winning.

Unable to stop Shigure, Kyou can only tag along when Gaydilocks invades the secret path to 5D or some shit i forgot. Instead of sealing the path and fleeing, Shigure jumps out like a retard so Kyou pushes Shigure away and is like “I FIGHT INSTEAD”. Omi holds Shigure back and seals off the path and the last thing Shigure sees is Gaydilocks stabbing the fuck outta Kyou so the guy starts wailing and screaming…till Kyou shows up behind him and is like “SURPRAAAAHZZZ MOTHAFUCKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Turns out Kyou made a clone so it’s all good. Shigure is mad all over again like “I DIDN’T NEED YOU TO PROTECT ME” and Kyou’s srsly fed up like “WELL I’M SORRY FOR CARING OH WHAT A FUCKING SIN THAT IS” before running off and bumping into YUUMA. Yuuma asks how Shigure is doing before telling Kyou about the super secret 5D spell that only the head can use: a spell that wipes the existence of majick from the entire world for 10 years or some shit. Gaydilocks is terrified of Shigure using this spell cuz it’d mean no magic for him. At the same time though, the purpose of 5D will be gone too cuz they’d just be reduced to a bunch of powerless rogues as far as everyone is concerned so the spell is a double edged sword.

Yuuma leaves and Shigure suddenly pops up all furious cuz he thinks Kyou is a betraying shit who’s joined hands with Yuuma. Kyou’s attempts to explain are futile so he resigns himself to leaving 5D in the morning if Shigure still wants to be a reckless dumb fuck. Before he can stop himself though, Kyou mutters sth about being jealous which Shigure catches and forces Kyou to explain himself. Pinned to the ground, Kyou has no choice but to confess that he’s jealous that Shigure listens to Omi and Yuuma but never him. He understands that Shigure’s been with his other nakama for ages as opposed to being with him for only a few days or so but he always wanted to be special and not lose to Yuuma. He tells Shigure that he knows that the guy thinks using the spell means running away and that it’ll mean 5D won’t have magic anymore, but then that is well worth it if no one else will die anymore. Shigure ends up confessing too, that he too was jealous when he overheard Kyou saying that he’ll be relying on Yuuma etc and finally reveals his true gay colours and tells Kyou that he likes him. Kyou likes him too and the two end up having derishus sexy time ;)

Shigure announces the next day that after they bust out the captured 5D members, he’s going to do the big spell and perhaps after the spell wears off, 5D can regroup and do their stuff again.

Okay so this was totally anticlimatic where 5D breaks in, saves everyone, make a magic path that somehow leads them to Kyou’s hometown and then SHigure does the fancy spell and poof magic is all gone. Kyou’s mom is like “Kyou wtf r u doing here explain urself” but decides to buy her son’s lies and lets the 5D members all live on their land and work on their farms in return. Kyou goes back to the city and after graduating, returns home to Shigure where he takes over his family business

At the end, Kyou is visited by a bird or sth and realises that this is the spirit of Yuuma who helped them earlier on. Kyou vows to pen down the 5D heroism and lives happily ever after with Shigure

Senge Iori

Sergeant Gaydilocks. He’s the kichiku rapist S character and has big plans of using the dead magic to take over the world. Like Shiki from TnC, he goes all possessive creeper gay for the protagonist when he gets stood up to. Has really nice hair and is the spokeperson for both Loreal Paris and Clairol.

I swear Senge’s routes were infuriating as fuck – guy was such a db rapist but at the same time, when he’s not raping anyone, he’s so suave and nice and gets along with Kyou so well. wtf man it’s like Alvaro shit all over again only r18

So after Kyou first meets Shigure and gets into a tussle with Sergeant GOLDilocks, Senge receives reports of this mysterious civilian who managed to go toe to toe with Sgt. GOLDilocks. Senge immediately gets super hard for Kyou and stakes out so he can meet Kyou. When Kyou and Sgt. GOLDilocks get into a fight again, Senge comes in to cockblock. When Kyou manages to cleave off some of Senge’s hair, Senge decides that he MUST have Kyou and ceasing his assault, gets all pervy and Kyou and tells him to become his slave. Kyou finds himself getting all hypnotised by Senge’s eyes and is about to suck the guy’s dick before MISAAAKIIII <3 comes in and tells Senge “DON’T TOUCH MY KYOUUUUUUUUUUUU” and they flee.

Next day though, while Kyou’s out with his uncle, they bump into none other than rapist Senge. Since Kyou’s uncle is some important rich business guy, he knows who Senge is and before Kyou can excuse himself, Senge insists that he take Kyou home and then basically threatens to brand him as a traitor who went against the army and teamed up with the terrorist Shigure and tell his family all about it. Kyou doesn’t get why the fuck Senge is being so gay for him but Senge says he needs Kyou for his big plans and tells Kyou he’ll come for him tmr.

Next day, Senge tells Kyou about his big plans to make Japan #1 in the world and to enslave all the other countries. If Senge uses the dead. Kyou flips him the bird and is about to leave so Senge knocks the guy out and tells him “YOU AIN’T GOIN NOWHERE HUN”

When he wakes up, Kyou has his hands tied to the headboard and when he rejects Senge again, the guy cuts his own hand, then rips open Kyou’s shirt and cuts his chest. He then puts his own wound on Kyou’s one, mixing their blood together before tongueraping Kyou’s chest and then really raping the daylights outta poor Kyou

Kyou blacks out and dreams of some crazy lady and her minions trying to kill him or sth, telling him that he’s the most gifted in the family and that it’ll only hurt for a second before he feels bliss. When Kyou wakes up, he’s in the arms of a sleeping Senge but he can’t escape Senge’s grip. A soldier knocks at the door and Senge lets him in, with the soldier commenting on how it’s odd for Senge to still be sleeping at this hour. Senge tells Kyou that he was having a fit earlier and asks whether he had a nightmare. They lie together in silence, Kyou being pissed and terrified but at the same time, feeling an odd sense of peace as Senge strokes the back of his head.

Senge returns and tells him that Japan is facing imminent threat of invasion so he must win. Senge leaves to get dinner and a soldier comes in and calls Kyou a filthy gigolo whore, making Kyou realise that this was how all the soldiers saw him and Kyou ragequits and runs off home.

Kyou runs home and scrubs the fuck outta himself in the shower, desperately wanting someone to console him. Good timing cuz none other than MISAKI <3 shows up. Misaki just tells Kyou that Senge is fucking nuts and that Kyou’s gta stay away. Kyou agrees that Senge is a crazy shit with no morals but that he is right in that Japan is in danger and Kyou feels he’s gta do something. Misaki tells Kyou to stfu, hugs the guy and says if peace is what Kyou wants, Misaki’ll give it to him so stop stressing over this shit.

OMG. MISAKI. I CAN’T-

FUCK WHEN IS SENGE’S ROUTE OVER

Next morn, Senge shows up to apologise for what his soldier said and gives Kyou the soldier’s thumb LOL WTF MAN. Senge tells him that he deliberately cut off the right thumb because the soldier was right handed – now he can never wield a blade again. Kyou’s just like “WT THE FLYING FUCKS”so Senge calls the soldier out, saying that it seems like Kyou isn’t satisfied with just a thumb and is about to kill the soldier till Kyou goes “OK YOU CRAZY FUCK I GET IT I’LL GO WITH U FUCKING PUT AWAY YOUR SWORD”

That night, Senge brings Kyou with his men to raid the 5D, where Kyou finds himself stopping a blow for Senge and ends up killing Shigure. Senge then sets fire to the 5D base and kills them all. Senge’s mad that Kyou looks so glum LOL LIKE NO SHIT SENGE WTFand when Kyou’s like “NO SRSLY WHY SO GAY 4 ME”, Senge tells him about some old history stuff of the 5D but I have no fucking clue. Both 5D and 14 other priest families used to serve the emperor but the 5D refused to lend their power to the db queen one day so the Emperor decided to hunt 5D down. A child is chosen to become the “substitute” for the Emperor – basically they become the ones who takes the hit for the emperor when he gets cursed and shit. This is what Senge is.

Traditionally though, a child from 5D is selected to become the substitute but for some reason, Senge was chosen by the queen’s papa. Senge’s family has close ties with the queen’s family prolly das why. Kyou also suspects the queen isn’t human and after talking to Sgt. Goldilocks, he agrees and rmbs that after Senge became the sub, he gained some crazy immense power too.

END 1

Kyou sees a photo hanging askew in Senge’s room so goes over to fix it. Senge tells Kyou that it’s a picture of the queen before she got married. When Kyou touches the photo, the shadow of a snake appears and when Kyou looks at the picture again, he realises it’s SOMEBODY ELSE – she looks nothing like that queen. Senge realises that Kyou’s right and theorises that he was under a spell and didn’t notice anything off abt the queen until Kyou mentioned it and realises that his memories hav been toyed with

The queen summons Senge the next day and before leaving, Senge notes how he feels much btr after he took some of Kyou’s blood. Senge has the power of YIN which is powerful but threatens to consume the holder. Kyou conversely, is YANG which balances out the YIN. Kyou suggests they share some more blood but since Senge can’t be “tainted” when he sees the queen so the two start eating each others’ faces, becoming drunk on each other. Anyway the two made an agreement that if Senge ever goes berserk cuz of his powers, Kyou will be there to kill him and then after he’ll commit suicide or sth.

The queen orders Senge to kill Sgt Goldilocks and co (cuz they always going against Senge ie her plans I think). When Kyou finds out, he’s pissed af, this shit be overkill, even Senge knows it’s right! When Senge leaves that night to kill, Kyou rushes off to warn Sgt Goldilocks and he and his men end up fleeing via underground. Goldilocks tells Kyou that Senge has no family – they all gave their lives to Senge during the ritual – Senge needs to be able to withstand curses etc for Tenshi so needs sacrifice. Anyway, Goldilocks suddenly it hit with a spell and dying, tells Kyou to beware of the queen. Next day, Senge visits the Queen who suspects that Senge’s no longer fully under her control and she tells Senge to take Kyou’s soul.

Next morning, Kyou wakes up in Senge’s arms, feeling at peace again. He knows Senge is awake because he didn’t dream and Senge tells him he was thinking about whether meeting Kyou was fate or not. Kyou tells him it isn’t fate and Senge concludes that they must’ve met because they wanted to meet each other then. All this talk gets Senge horny but this time, he’s super gentle and asks Kyou whether or not he hates it. This surprises Kyou and makes him start freaking out at Senge, how he’s an inconsiderate fuck who does whatever he wants to him – he’s always been controlling and rough and all, but now he gets all nice and even goes “I WANT YOU”. Hanging around Senge has made Kyou lose control, like this isn’t even his own body or mind. Basically, Kyou’s like 「責任取れよ、この変態」LOL

Anyway, Senge givesa big fuck u to the queen, telling her that yeah sure he’ll make jp strong and shit but he ain’t consuming Kyou’s soul – “we’ve become one already anyway EHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE” and the Queen’s like “MAAAAA >;D”. Senge gets Kyou an army uniform too and tells him to pin his bangs up so he (Kyou) can always watch him (Senge).

And in the end, the two spend the rest o their lives happily conquering the shit out of the world

END 2

Senge goes off to kill the Queen. He realises that she’s prolly some dead spirit that possessed the original Queen and he’s filled with wrath because this hoe manipulated him and everyone around him and got his entire family killed. After he kills the queen, he sets fire to the place and stabs himself to the throne. Kyou shows up too late and is mad that Senge just left him and did whatever the hell again. Senge said he had to right what was wrong and now, his soul is free.

Kyou kills himself too, unable to leave Senge alone and finds him in the underworld, fighting off evil dead things. Senge and Kyou then spend the rest of eternity protecting the world from these evil shits.

END 3

Kyou gets attacked by a furious Yuuma who demands to know where Shigure’s corpse is. When Kyou hears that Yuuma is going to kill Senge, Kyou gets all weird possessive and goes all “NO ONLY I CAN KILL SENGE” and ends up killing Yuuma. Kyou gets even more possessive over Senge and gets super jealous when he sees another soldier touching Senge. Senge explains that he doesn’t give a fuck about Kyou getting jelly but now that they’re bound, he can’t really touch anyone else which is a prob when he gets horny…and Kyou ends up sucking the guy off where Senge forces Kyou to deepthroat and jackhammers the guy’s mouth

wtf? This was such a nasty scene where shit was described as “Kyou thought he was going to drown on cum”and “the huge meatstick exploded it’s load painfully far down Kyou’s throat”and “the overwhelming pong of man jizz filled Kyou’s nose”ew just wtf.

Senge forces Kyou to drink his jizz and then goes onto raping him again

ok yeah fuck this shit I quit . I don’t want any more inglorious description like “to Kyou, it felt like his ass was being shredded apart by a dull knife” and “The thrusting became smoother – Kyou realised he must be bleeding and that the blood had gathered about Senge’s dong, acting as a sort of sick lube”. Just no

….is what I want to say but I need to do everything to get to Misaki…and no I’m exaggerating – I’m pretty sure the raep description wasn’t THAT bad lol

Next day, everything is back to normal b/t Kyou and Senge, and Kyou asks whether Senge was ever afraid of the dead. Senge’s been able to see em since birth so no and says that death’s door is basically always open around him. Kyou sees that they’ve both been terrified since their lives and understands why they feel so at peace with each other– Yin and Yang, and they share each other’s pain.

Everything’s calm for the next few days minus constant fucking from Kyou and Senge till GOLDILOCKS is given orders to capture Senge. Cornered, Kyou remembers Misaki telling him that if he ever wants to be saved from this shitstained path with Senge, then all he has to do is call him. Just as he does, in bust Senge’s army to save the day but the cliff they’re on gives and Senge is left dangling over the ledge. Kyou freaks and tells the die not to fucking let go but Senge cuts his own hand off and falls, while Kyou is left holding his arm LOOOOOOOOOL

ANND U KNOW WHAT IT GETS EVEN FUNNIERcuz when Kyou sees Misaki, instead of telling Misaki to bring him away from all this shit, he SLICES OFF HIS OWN LEFT ARM and while screaming and wailing like a baby on the ground, he tells Misaki to fuse Senge’s left arm onto his pathetic stump LOL WTF IS THIS SHIT SRSLY WT THE DIU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SO FUCKING DUMB.

Senge’s soul then lives on in Kyou’s and they basically become OP yin yang fused and Kyou becomes the new Senge:

Tatebayashi Kai

Sergeant GOLDilocks. He’s the good sergeant when compared to rapey shithole Senge but is given the same orders to hunt down 5D. Unlike Senge though, he doesn’t go around butchering the fuck outta 5D members and tries to just capture and interrogate them nicely. At first he seems like a tightassed brick wall but is actually Prince Charming and pulls all these smooooooth moves on our otome Kyouichirou ;)

I kind of fell asleep a couple times in Tate’s route cuz it was so plot heavy, mostly devoid of any romance and I found Tate to be a rather droll character.

As you see in the other routes, Kai is after the 5D too and Kyou gets involved in the beginning too. On his day off, he bumps into Kyou and the two have some tea party together where Kai apologises for getting civilian Kyou involved but Kyou insists on getting involved so Kai invites him over the next night.

The twins are super against this but no one cares and next night, Kyou pops over where Kai tells him some history shit that no one cares about lol. Basically, 5D used to be the only ppl around who cud see the dead and stuff but then some non 5D people started getting the ability to do the whole dead thing too and that includes ppl like Kai and his men. One day though, the soldiers lost control of their powers and ended up getting a bunch of teh 5D ppl killed which is why Shigure thinks they be murderers. It was here that Yuuma decided that he had failed 5D as a leader so left and joined the army and says he can’t return cuz he’s got “stuff to do”. Anyway, now 5D is just a congregation of rebels so Kai’s given orders to control them. The gay twins come out and the one with the eyepatch, KAORU, starts spazzing out and Kyou’s confused cuz he and his blade are supposed to affect dead things…and he realises that Kaoru’s actually dead already and is some kind of zombie.

Kyou agrees to help and next day, there’s some parade thing where Kai shows up riding a white horse LOL and when he flashes a princely smile at Kyou, the guy blushes like a friggin sissy otome and has a monologue about how manly and wonderful Kai is rofl wtf.

Kyou then notices some evil fucker in the crowd and sure enough, the guy launches himself at Kaoru but Kyou pops in to save the guy and chases after the fucker. The fucker uses dead magic and Kyou’s almost killed till twin #2, KaHOru, and Kai show up to save the day. Kai thanks Kyou for protecting Kaoru before picking the guy up bridal style cuz Kyou’s injured his leg and he takes Kyou to his condo loooooooooooool this is so otoge.

Tate and Kyou become closer and shit and one night when they be drinkin together, Ttate asks whether Kyou can see “them” over there in the corner. Kyou replies that he can’t and Tate tells Kyou that he can see and feel the presence of his dead suboordinates around. Kyou wants to tell him that THERE ISN’T ANYTHING THERE – it’s just Tate’s guilt and shit. Tate tells Kyou that he wants his help to find all his dead subordinates and send em to the afterlife properly.

Then none other than TENSHI-sama, the shota emperor of Japan, shows up at Tate’s doorstep and Kyou overhears Tenshi asking Tate whether he’s secured the university student and how Tate really got it done fast and how now he can easily control the dead. Kyou realises here that he’s been lied to and if he runs away, he gets caught by the twins and Kaoru rapes him lol EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW HIS CUM IS COLD OMFG EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW OMG KYOU GOT RAPED BY A CORPSE and then Kaoru decides to keep him as a pet so makes him unable to walk or something wtf rofl

If Kyou doesn’t run, then he keeps listening and discovers that Tenshi’s dad is dead and that there’s no one ruling atm really (Ok im really confused cuz I thought EVERYONE knew that little shota boy Tenshi is now the emperor so obv the pops is dead? I guess it turned out to be a big secret then). Anyway, Tenshi finds Kyou and they haven’t been using him for world domination or sth, they just need to be sure Senge won’t take over Japan or some shit idk i zoned out here.

Tate apologises but Kyou’s fine with it. Kaoru gets taken by Senge, who uses a spell to make him more human again and basically wants the twins to join him or some shit. Kaoru’s like fuck off but KaHOru mulls over it. By now, Kaoru’s cottoned on and realised that Kyou has a little man crush on Tate and tells him to seduce Tate cuz the latter is dense as hell. No need for that cuz soon enough, Tate starts making some moooooooooooves on Kyou, buying the guy stuff and walking him home and telling Kyou that whenever he wants sth, just tell him. Kyou gets an otome revelation like “OMG MY HEARTAH GOIN BADADING BADABOOM BADABUMMMM”

In comes the twins to cockblock where they’re all about to play pool together till Kaoru suddenly goes nuts and starts brandishing his sword at Tate and KaHOru. Kyou snaps him out of it and Kaoru realises that this is a side effect of Senge’s spell and that he really isn’t supposed to be here. KaHOru’s all “NO I’LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU” and Kaoru’s like “yeah man bruh u goin all cray I can’t do this to you” so he stabs himself and then tells Kyou to kill him.

Everyone is all emo about it and ofc, whenever Kyou is sad, Misaki shows up. Misaki tells Kyou that it’s enough, he doesn’t below with Tate and needs to come home with him. Tate comes in though all mad like “KYOU’S WITH ME” and even though Misaki’s like “STFU U HOE U JUS MAKIN KYOU DO ALL UR DIRTY WORK”, Misaki backs off and talks to Kaoru’s spirit, allowing his voice to be heard by others.

Tate’s all quiet when they return to hid condo and he ends up getting hammered. Kyou takes him to his room where Tate goes into a drunk rage about how he doesn’t want to lose anyone anymore and how he wants to kill fucking Senge and shave off his loreal paris hair. Kyou tells him to calm down and sleep, and when Tate says he can’t Kyou replies that he’ll make him sleep and that this is probably what he met Tate for and then he gives him a bj and rides him WHOOOOAH KYOU SEDUCTION MODE!!!! and asks afterwards whether Tate can sleep now.

We then go over to Tenshi sama, where it’s revealed that he has an older twin brother called KAGENOMIYA who’s sickly and who can’t think right. The Queen spends all day coddling KAGENOMIYA and doesn’t like Tenshi (who’s name is really Miya and Tenshi is the title for Emperor) cuz he has a brain. Tenshi realises that the Queen has been playing the government and is plotting with Senge and prolly put a spell on KAGENOMIYA to make him dumb and her puppet so Tenshi’s like “I’M TIRED OF UR SHIT WOMAN GTFO”. The Queen then decides to lock him up but he escapes that night to Tate to tell him that he needs help before he gets locked up by the queen again.

Kyou and Tate are just having some nice coupley time together and shit till they catch news that Tenshi is captured so Shigure joins hands with em for some reason idk about and they go off to save Tenshi. Ofc, in comes nipplehead Senge so while his men fight with Tate’s, Kyou and Tokitou run off to Tenshi. The Queen is like “OH NO U DON’T” but bamf Tokitou’s like “oh stfu u don’t got no right to talk to the emperor like dis” and whips dat hoe into submission.

Having retrieved the precocious 13 year old, Kyou makes his way back where Tate and Senge are STILL waving their dicks around at each other. Exasperated, Kyou tells the two that they’ve rescued Tenshi and that the Queen has gone nuts. Butthurt Senge gives up and tells the two to gtfo.

In the end, Tenshi reveals that his pops has been dead for some time so now he’s the new Tenshi. Fastforward 4 years, where Kyou graduates and his fam comes to see him and then he makes out in the forest with Tate and promises to be with him forever or sth

END 2

Tate and co fail to say Tenshi and basically Tate’s crew all get killed. Tate commits suicide and Kyou doesn’t find out till later. Kyou is alone for the next few years until one day, Tate’s dead spirit comes and begs Kyou to go rescue Tenshi or sth cuz the dead have come back to fuck shit up or sth. Kyou’s super mad at first cuz Tate just offed himself and left Kyou alone despite all that fluffy otome stuff but in the end, relents and heads to the capital

I kind of fell asleep a couple times in Tate’s route cuz it was so plot heavy and I found Tate to be a rather droll character.

Misaki

OMG FINALLY. Misaki’s the *true guy* I guess and obviously loves Kyou to bits, showing up every time he’s in trouble, lost or sad. He enjoys fucking around with Kyou and is the hearty big man usually but when shit gets srs, he punches the shit out of all the sword or gun wielding soldiers YEAH LIKE WTF IS THIS USELESS THING U CALL A SWORD DIS GUY’S GOT FISTS and he knows a buhjillion magic spells.

Misaki tells Kyou that these soldiers have managed to find a way to enslave the dead and use em to fight or some shit. He warns Kyou not to get involved anymore but Kyou’s pissed that these guys are fucking arnd with the dead so he finds Shigure again. Shigure doesn’t have the heart to tell a happy Kyou to gtfo but then the soldiers find em again and they fight.

Misaki’s furious at Kyou for doing dumb shit again but Kyou’s like “YO MAN DIS AIN’T ANY OF YO BIZ U FokkIN WEIRDO”and Shigure can’t take this stupid bickering so he books it, leaving angry Kyou and Misaki. Kyou tells him that no matter what, he’s going to get involved and if it’s his destiny or if it’s for Japan, he’ll do anything. Misaki snaps, shoves Kyou up against some shrine pillar and tells him he’s just a dumb kid and “YOU KNOW NOTHING, JOHN SNOW”. Kyou thinks he’s so eraiiii and noble but he’s all talk and if he won’t listen to him, then Misaki’ll do THIS to him and see if Kyou’s still willing to take anything for Japan. Misaki doesn’t go far though, just tongue rapes Kyou’s neck while telling Kyou to hurry up and say that he ain’t gna do anything dumb so Kyou realises that Misaki’s just reaaaaallly doesn’t want him to get himself killed. Kyou thanks Misaki for worrying but says that he ain’t changing his mind so go ahead and do whatever.

Misaki caves and apologises for being a perve before telling Kyou to do whatever and then trolling like “just let me lick u once more” LOL and when Kyou storms off in a huff, Misaki shoves some candy in his mouth to apologise. When Kyou asks where he gets all that candy and why Misaki won’t tell him, we get this

IT TURNS ME ON WHEN U EAT FROM MY HAND

Lol u say some pretty embarrassing things in public eh mate

Right let’s go get a room then

gah I can’t get enough of these two.

That night, Kyou keeps getting pestered by dem dead spirits and terrified, he just bolts and goes into the nearest bar without his sword, or anything. A bunch of guys buy him a drink, thinking he’s some gigolo so an angry Kyou gets all bamf all of a sudden and kicks the shit outta all of emtill Misaki comes in and the former falls asleep in his arms. When Misaki hears that Kyou was fighting cuz of some perves, Misaki smashes in their faces some more before taking Kyou home

Kyou wakes up to MAMASAKI in a smock LOL

before Misaki makes him breakfast (OMG HE CAN COOK <3) and sits him down, lecturing him about how he ain’t gna call him “KYOUICHIROU” anymore, naw Kyou don’t deserve just a majestic sounding name, KYOU is more than enough. He tells Kyou that on top of picking fights at the bar, he also threw up on his back and after super generous, kind, understanding Misaki brought him home, Kyou wouldn’t let him leave cuz he was terrified of one puny dead lady like wow talk about hopeless so wonderful brilliant Misaki took care of all the dead things for him while Kyou had the gall to fall asleep and then Misaki had to clean his clothes and then had to sleep on that HARDASS BENCH that Kyou’s sitting on right now AND YEAH THERE’S MORE Misaki then woke up to buy groceries and then made breakfast. REFLECT ON DAH SHIT U BAD BOI

Since Kyou’s uncle won’t be back for the next few days, Misaki decides to live with Kyou to ward off the dead things and becomes Kyou’s live in househusband LOL. Kyou sends a letter to his fam, asking about their history and the sword but when he’s not looking, Misaki takes the letter and replaces it with another one, tearing the original up and keeping one tiny part of it cuz Misaki’s luff Kyou idk lol

Then they get attacked by something that takes even Misaki a lot of effort to defeat but he won’t tell Kyou what it is and he ends up having to sleep the whole day to recover. When Kyou gets up to leave, Misaki’s all “SLEEP NEXT TO ME ;)” but Kyou doesn’t and just tells Misaki to fking sleep already. When he does, Kyou comes back and holds his hand while he sleeps and falls asleep on Misaki, who ofc was awake the entire time huehuehe

Kyou asks wtf that sth was ytd and Misaki tells him it wasn’t a dead spirit, it came from NE NO KUNI, essentially the underworld. After some prodding, Misaki finally tells Kyou that the sth is a YOMOTSU SHIKOME, a servant hag of the goddess of the underworld, IZANAMI. Misaki doesn’t know exactly why a SHIKOME is here but suspects it’s cuz of the army’s meddling with the dead that’s bringing the world of the Gods together with this one. He tells Kyou to go back to his hometown right now, he can’t deal with this stuff. Ofc, Kyou refuses cuz he’s gta stop this but Misaki just asks whether he wants to have another fever that almost killed him like back then. All this shit about having to do God’s will, having to protect Japan and shit is just brainless patriotism that was hammered into him so that he’d become like a soldier – do you want to be like those in the army? These assholes who manipulate the dead for personal gain? Pissed, Kyou just takes his sword and walks off

He hears news that a parade for the emperor is going to held soon and how the citizens talk about how the emperor is the light in their light and stuff and Kyou realises that this is what he wants to fight for so Misaki can smd. Misaki takes Kyou to the parade, where they see the Queen being stalked by a dead spirit and realise that she’s involved with this shit too. The two take a bath together where Kyou thanks Misaki for everything and apologises that he’s still gna take down the army and dead stuff and go to school on top of that rofl. As usual, Misaki caves and agrees to tag along but he won’t forgive Kyou if the dumbass puts himself into extreme danger.

Out of the bath, Kyou finds Misaki’s yukata or sth lying around. When he picks it up, that little part of his letter falls out. He says nothing of it though and when his fam’s letter comes, sure enough they make no mention of the sword or anything. Kyou decides to consult Shigure who’s like “Jesus Christ what am I, your marriage counsellor” but tells Kyou that Misaki’s just worried and doesn’t want Kyou to find out about shit thas all. When Shigure hears about the SHIKOME, he’s all “HOW THE FK DID MISAKI DEFEAT THA THANG” and decides that he must see Misaki and find out who he really is. Ofc, out pops Misaki, livid, and he starts hollering at Kyou for lying to him and shit but Shigure’s like “STFU KING KONG”and Kyou nervously tells Misaki that he was just asking about the letter…just as Misaki’s about to tell Kyou the truth, Senge comes out

Senge and his men summon dead things but cuz they’re around where Misaki sealed the SHIKOME, all this dead stuff breaks the SHIKOME’s seal and it’s about to rape everyone till Misaki tells Kyou that he can defeat it for realz and tells him not to worry cuz he, Kyou, has the power to protect him, Misaki. Kyou and Misaki send the SHIKOME back and Senge runs home

Shit happens though and Misaki starts getting all transparent and vanishing as he mutters about how a thousand years of not lifting has made him weaker lolol. He tells Kyou that he’ll leave and stop nagging him once this shit has blown over so just for now, give him a kiss and split some of his life force with him. Look, he’ll even rub some candy on his lips so Kyou can think he’s just kissing some candy and not some gross hairy monkey like Misaki so please! Kyou says he ain’t gross or anything, he’s Misaki the great so don’t you dare run off without a word. Kyou says he’ll protect him and starts making out with Misaki, suddenly feeling all nostalgic as if this has happened before in the past…

Misaki gets better and confesses everything to Kyou. Misaki ain’t dead nor is he human – he’s what Kyou would call a God. He’s not the big guy or anything – OOKAMUZUMI NO MIKOTO. So there’s some old Japanese legend where big God IZANAGI wanted to see his dead wife, IZANAMI, so head down to the underworld. Her rotting zombie appearance killed his boner so he ran from her and her SHIKOME and he threw some magical peaches at them to ward em off. Kyou rmbs that his village is fucking PEACH TREE VILLAGE or some shit and that they have a really old peach tree there…yup, Misaki’s the spirit of that tree

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. When he was about to be tainted, out popped Kyou’s ancestor HIIRAGI who purged his tree and he had a magical sword. Somehow, Misaki got bound to the sword or sth, drew on its power and could take on a human form. Misaki is the God inside the blade and has been the protector and protectee of the Hiiragi house since then

It’s also Misaki’s fault that Kyou can see the dead. The women of the Hiiragi fam are traditionally the ones who can see the dead, not the men and Kyou was never supposed to be able to see the dead. However, when he fell ill with that life threatening fever, his pa prayed to the sword while his mom headed down NE NO MICHI (the tunnel to NE NO KUNI underworld I think) and met a SHIKOME who tried to consume Kyou. Instinctively, Mama Hiiragi stabbed Kyou with the sword, bonding him with Misaki and saving his life. Kyou’s thankful but still a tad irked about how Misaki ripped up his letter and somehow, they start bickering again where Misaki lastly confesses that he tore up that letter apart to protect Kyou,

He also didn’t want Kyou to hate him since Kyou hates being able to see the dead and Misaki is the cause of that. Since he and Kyou are bound, he doesn’t want to be hated while they can’t ever be apart at the same time. Misaki also doesn’t like to call anyone else by name because words bind him to a person and he only wants to be bound to Kyou.

While Kyou and Misaki are being lovey dovey, Senge and Tate are super confused cuz when they tell teh Queen that SHIKOME are appearing and shit, she’s all chill about it and doesn’t care at all. Senge suspects that he’s not so alpha and is being used by the Queen instead…who’s fucking nuts obvSince then, Misaki has been super clingy, trying to get into the bath with Kyou and wanting to sleep in the same bed all the time. However, Misaki brings up how he’s going to leave once this shit is solved and how he and Kyou were never sposed to meet in the first place. Tate comes in to beg for help cuz Tenshi’s super sick and he has symptoms just like kiddy Kyou did during his fever. Misaki refuses no matter what until at night, Misaki tells Kyou that in truth, Kyou’s fever curse is still there – the contract with Misaki is keeping it at bay. To “heal” Tenshi, Misaki’ll have to make a contract with him and that’ll mean breaking the one with Kyou, thus Kyou will fall to the curse again. Misaki doesn’t care about Tenshi as long as Kyou is alright. Kyou doesn’t answer cuz he knows all this but then Tenshi can’t be left to die so he writes a letter to his fam, thanking them for everything etc and tells Tate the next morn to deliver it if he dies. If not, discard the letter and Kyou’s going to live a normal life as a uni student/

At night, Kyou has an odd dream seeing his younger self but Misaki wakes him up and tells him he’ll make him forget it all, all this death shit, soldier shit, Misaki. Kyou replies he can’t, he’s gta save Tenshi tmr so Misaki pushes him down and tells him not to go, he won’t let him go. Kyou tells him not to worry cuz he’s not going to die, he’s going to heal Tenshi then come back and live as a normal student – isn’t that what Misaki wants the most? He wants Misaki to see him live a normal life; he wants Misaki there too and he wants to always be with Misaki. They then have sexy time where Kyou gives Misaki a bj while the latter is lying down in a DRAW ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS pose roflIn the morn, Misaki tags along and they go to Kagenomiya. Misaki and Kyou make out in front of like everyone there cuz Misaki needs to take himself out of Kyou. Kyou collapses and then sees the dark gathering around him cuz now he lacks Misaki’s defense. In comes the Queen and Senge to interrupt and the SHIKOME following the Queen immediately attacks Kyou and takes him away. Misaki tears after Kyou, going to NE NO KUNI. Kyou wakes up in the underground tunnel and fights the SHIKOME where she mentions a woman or sth. Kyou desperately tries to figure out how his ancestor purged the land and stuff and there’s some shit about Misaki being the sword, so Kyou is the sheath so he cuts himself, does some funky stuff and defeats the SHIKOME…or so he thinks cuz eh gets right back up and tells him that he no longer has Misaki’s power with him so too bad. Misaki comes in last mo, beats back SHIKOME and makes a new contract with Kyou. He then tells Kyou to stab himself and the two defeat the SHIKOME

Kyou asks Misaki whether he’d cry if he (Kyou) died. Misaki gets all tsundere before saying that after several decades of his death, perhaps he’ll cry for him once.

Now that shits blown over, Misaki is living happily as a househusband while Kyou goes to school and Misaki basically tells Tate to fuck off and never bother his Kyou again. One day Misaki gets all jealous and shit so he decides to show Kyou the extent of his jealousy so the two have fun time lol

TRUE END

MOAR MISAKI? I’LL TAKE IT <3

This continues on from the good end, where Misaki and Kyou are living happily, sexing each other up 24/7 blablabla.

However, Senge’s curse suddenly starts acting up and mini earthquakes are felt throughout the earth. The Queen relieves Tate and Senge of their dead magic duties and commands the soldiers herself now, and the dead spirits have been disappearing from the capital so Senge joins hands with Tate to figure out what’s going on and Shigure contacts Kyou and lets him know something’s up

Now back to Kyou and co. The group have located the missing dead souls to be in NE NO MICHI. Misaki sulks a bit cuz Kyou’s going to get pulled into danger again but understands that Kyou will do what he has to. Shigure and Omi ponder why someone would want so many dead souls ie the power of YIN and finally realise that with all this yin power, one could break open the gates to the underworld (NE NO MICHI is just the tunnel and everyone’s been partying there and the characters haven’t actually been down to the underworld or anything). Yin is the feminine trait, IZANAMI’s power, so the culprit behind this is a woman…THE QUEEN DUNDUNDUN

Tate rushes off to find Senge but finds out he has been summoned by the Queen. Overcome with pain because of his curse, Senge collapses when he reaches the Queen who praises him for his devotion and says that his reward will be seeing Japan at her finest: the Queen plans to join the underworld with the living world to bring back her dead husband.

A parade is announced to take place in 2 days in honour of Tenshi, which is weird cuz the Queen just threw a parade. Obv the group realise sth is up and Kyou ofc, feels it is his destiny to do sth but Misaki again, just tells Kyou that he really dgaf abt Japan or Tenshi…all he wants is Kyou and he wants to take Kyou and run away from all this bs. Kyou muses over the irony of this: he’s bound to Misaki by fate (ie Kyou is *chosen* by a God, Misaki) but Misaki’s always trying so hard to protect Kyou from his fate. Kyou tells Misaki that he has OP God Misaki to protect him so he won’t die. Misaki’s like “HEY DON’T MAKE IT MY RESPONSIBILITY NOW” and Kyou’s just like “HUEHUE CAN’T HELP IT YOU’RE A GOD”

The parade commences, and a massive fire breaks out across the capital while the Queen takes a brainwashed Senge and her other son, KAGENOMIYA down to NE NO MICHI where the dead souls she captured are. SHIKOME run amok above and the group rush down to stop the Queen from opening the gates of hell. The Queen has already begin to open the gates, calling for the dead emperor and using KAGENOMIYA as a vessel. She says sth abt how his “real fiance” didn’t love her as much as she (the Queen) did – turns out the Queen is actually some AYAKASHI or sth and replaced the real fiance. She figures that the emperor must’ve realised at some point but since he didn’t reject her, the emperor must really have loved her, the Queen, and not the real fiance.

However, the emperor got sickly and the Queen wonders whether this was his divine punishment for fornicating with an AYAKASHI. If that’s the case, then she curses the Gods – the Queen will stop at nothing to retrieve her dead husband. She’s sacrificed so much, killed all those who realised who she was really was, and even set up that explosion incident b/t the 5D and the soldiers so she could harvest the dead 5D souls. Out crawls her rotting corpse of an emperor husband and The Queen lovingly embraces the festering carcass

And while everyone’s like “NO THIS CANNOT BE” and puking their guts out, all Misaki says is

「だから言ったろ。女はおっかねえのさ」

「。。。信じらねえ。女の情ってな、こんなにも凄まじいもんかよ。。。いや、やっぱりそういうもんかもしんえ。。。」

LOL 空気読め!!!

but then he says he’d probably do the same thing she’s doing if the Gods fucked him over like that with Kyou うわこいつも狂ってる

Suddenly, Misaki rmbs sth and gets whacked in the head with deja vu:

Misaki was the first peach tree from IZANAGI and is an actual God. Kyou was meant to meet Misaki and prevent the underworld from opening again. Kyou’s relieved and this confirms that this is fate and for the first time, Misaki agrees wholeheartedly. However, purging the land of this and closing the gate will probably use up all of Misaki’s powers. He probably won’t die but he definitely won’t be able to remain in such a form.

Alas, such is fate and the two must do what must be done so they start sealing and stuff. IZANAMI borrows the voice of the Queen and Misaki’s just like “LOL THANKS FOR NOT SHOWING UP IN PERSON AND NOT BURNING MY EYES WITH YOUR ZOMBIE BODY <3” . Knowing that she can’t beat the two, IZANAMI vows to return when the capital collapses or sth and the gate starts to close. The Emperor slowly gets sucked back in, where the Queen starts screaming for him to not leave. The Queen ends up going into NE NO KUNI as well, and when the gates close, all that is left is the burning ruins of Tokyo. It isn’t over though, cuz now there are a shit ton of lost dead souls roaming the place and though Misaki knows it’s not really part of the duties that IZANAGI assigned to him, he knows Kyou would want it so he cleans the land, leading the souls back to where they belong. In the midst of it all, Misaki asks Kyou if he loves him and when Kyou’s like “DUDE DON’T DO THIS NOW ISN’T THE BEST TIME”, Misaki responds that this is the only time he can ask. Kyou replies that ofc he loves him, and Misaki says he’s glad he could’ve heard it. A still brainwashed Senge comes barrelling along, threatening to cleave Kyou if he doesn’t stop this but Misaki just tells him that it’s all over, it’s been hard for Senge hasn’t it, and that he too, is free, before lifting the curse off Senge.

When the cleaning ends, the fires have died and the souls are gone. But so is Misaki. Kyou finds Misaki’s hairpin on the ground and weeps, wondering what he’ll do without Misaki.

A year passes, the Taishou era has ended, Kyou is in uni and all is well. He comes home to a…

….MINISAKI LOL. Minisaki says he’ll go back to his original size in time. Misaki and Kyou talk abt the Queen, wondering whether she’s happy down there with her husband. All this love talk makes Misaki horny and Kyou’s like “ROFL UR DICK’S SO SMALL NOW I WUDNT FEEL ANYTHING”but Minisaki just tells Kyou to come close and he kisses Kyou.

Afterthoughts and Conclusions

Shit this game has PLOT.

Took me so long to finish it but it was worth it <3 Just…Misaki man. Misaki. I don’t even.

I’m actually pretty bummed out that I couldn’t get the full depth of the story bc of crappy japanese skills – the story was pretty engrossing for the most part (until it dragged on and on in Tate’s route) and was well fleshed out so it’s a shame I can’t fully appreciate it.

I really loved Misaki. Did I say that already? Guy was hilarious, could cook, was sexy af and could beat the shit out of everyone. In terms of who I liked most, it’d be sth like

Misaki >Shigure > Kyou = Senge > Tatebayashi

Kyou was a pretty good protagonist – I’m not too into Keet ukes so it was nice that he wasn’t annoyingly chirpy. He also didn’t do any gayngst stuff and neither did anyone else so it was nice that it seemed that everyone just accepted it and loved each other <3 One thing I really liked about Kyou was his strong af moral compass – I’m not one for self righteous preachy types but man, Kyou’s got spirit and at least he was consistent with it.

I felt like Misaki and Shigure’s routes were the most balanced in terms of plot and romance and you could clearly see how their relationships progress. The pacing in Senge’s routes to be really off especially in the first 2 ends – it establishes that Kyou and Senge are basically meant to be and that they’re gna be partners in crime, and then they bring up all this stuff abt the Queen and then before anything really gets revealed, Senge and Kyou conquer the world/ Senge and Kyou die. I didn’t see an ending coming at any point. Tatebayashi was pretty damn boring and he didn’t seem to get as much development: he starts off as being the straightlaced good officer who loves his men…and ends the same way for the most part. His route was also pretty confusing with the Tenshi Kagenomiya stuff which bored me tbh, though what little romance there was made me laugh pretty hard because it was so otoge. That and at the end, they tried to play the Queen off as some tragic character and how her love was so beautiful which really didn’t work cuz she was always being protrayed as a selfish, smarmy fuck before that. I loved Kaoru before he turned into a frozen dong rapist lol

Senge’s character was confusing af though: Prior to playing the game, I heard a bit about how Senge was so deep and how he wasn’t just your typical rapist. I hated him at first cuz of the raep stuff but then sure enough, his relationship with Kyou just felt so…natural after that, where when he wasn’t raping, they just got along so well and complemented each other so I couldn’t hate him (it was like how I felt abt Alvaro all over again). And then we got end 3 and 4 where he reverts back to being a rapist shit but then Kyou was still so devoted to him. Yeah I get it’s cause they have a special bond or sth but it was pretty jarring to see him being so nice in ends 1 and 2, then suddenly turn into an even bigger monster cock rapist in end 3 and 4 for no immediately obvious reason (I still don’t really get why he became a giant douchewad in those 2 ends). Even worse, in ends 3 and 4, Kyou like “SENGE IZ MINE” even after the horrible rape scene and stuff. idk man. Mb the rape wasn’t even that bad and it just looked horrible cuz I was baked LOL i was scared shitless at Kaoru’s rape scene.

The art’s pretty damn nice though a bit inconsistent at times and I swear, the artist has some fixation with Senge’s hair cuz JUST LOOK AT THOSE LUSCIOUS LOCKS. DAMN. Music was fab as well I’m defs getting the soundtrack.

As for the porno…I read abt how some people thought there wasn’t enough pr0n but strangely enough, hentai me didn’t think it was inadequate at all. I think that’s cuz the smexing mostly had it’s place in the game and wasn’t randomly shoved in – it existed to show the intimacy of Kyou x ____ and THAT’S IT. We got that established with one or 2 sex scenes, don’t really need 9 more like in other games *coughsugarbeanscough*. That and probably cuz I didn’t like Kyou’s sexy sounds – they were pretty unsexy since he nears screams a fair bit like some av star faking an orgasm or sth. Then again, I guess I’d be screaming too if someone rammed a giant meatstick into me without any foreplay (srs, seemed like only Shigure knew what foreplay was) rofl

And holy fuck at over 10k words, I think everyone gets the point so i’ll just stfu and stop rambling. Game was damn good, makers definitely worked hard on it and yes it’s worth sitting through boring Tatebayashi and Senge’s stupid raep stuff just for MI<3SA<3KI<3

not really related to the review but I’m sorry you had to write such a disclaimer. I’m assuming you’re probably getting the same b/s I’ve been getting too. I think the otome gamer community needs to chill the fuck out and pull that 40 foot pole out their asses and let us bloggers write whatever dafuq we want XD

P.S. Your reviews are hilarious and always were. I always felt like you’re my review 仲間 when it comes to not giving a fuck and making fun of everything (´ε｀ )♡

Holy fuck no way you too?? That’s so much bs… Your reviews are brilliant and make me shit myself laughing and are nowhere near as crass or uh “misogynistic” as mine (I loled so hard when I got called a misogynist) . Ikr it’s like some ppl expect Goddamned gamespot or ign reviews from us. I can’t wait to see wt ppl say abt my bws review or amnesia one…

Omg why u so sweet u da best TOGETHER WE SHALL CONTINUE TO GIVE NO FUCKS. NAKAMA POWER <3

‘ere I was wondering wahdafuq is the disclaimer for. Didn’t know some otome game bloggers like you are havin’ it tough. I’ve always known the otome gamer comm has a stick up thereanus but I guess it’s gotten worse. But you know, maybe the otome gamer comm is like the yandere osananajimi to some bloggers where they go “I wuv ya so mush but I need to lock/chain/whip/beat ya up so ya really know how much I wuv you.” They really, really like you thats why they get up on yo grill like a mutha–yeah. So just don’t mind them ‘coz I myself got nothing but R-E-S-P-E-C-T for bloggers like you… I mean to keep the otome game love strong, somebody’s gotta endure long hours of mostly ballzyshit plot/game-play/characters and then make an interesting post about it. And I seriously can’t do none of those :D

Heck, I don’t play BL games too, but I definitely read your reviews about them lol

Yeah I was really surprised when I got flamed and when people started overanalysing what I write like “OH DOMSHIKI IS OBV A MISOGYNIST, HAS INSECURITIES ABT ETCETCETC”. I’m not mad or some shit it’s just that I thought I made it REALLY CLEAR that it’s my mission to write stupid, (hopefully) hilarious stuff just for lulz. I’m also pretty baked half the time and it’s pretty obvious that I’m not some shoujo heroine otome gamer so I’m realy not going to fanboy over everything. I don’t want people to waste their breath on me cuz honestly, I’m not worth it and they should know better than to get mad at someone who clearly doesn’t give a fuck lol.

Why, how did you know what kind of magazines I subscribe to? ;) I just heard it’s super inconsistent with no character development but then again, I don’t think anyone should expect much from a game called nekkid butlers lol.

Why do I get a feeling this happen because of your Diabolik Lover’s review? Or has it happen a long time ago? Anyway, people really should chillax a bit. The first time I read this, I know the words are off but I realized it’s just your way of showing humor. Personally I like it, it’s unique <3

Hahaha Senge’s a L’oreal model XD
Perhaps he should have a contest with Julius Monrey to see whose hair is more beautiful lmao
And it’s so funny that guys in yaoi games are smexier than those in otome games :/ oh wells
May try this out since it seems to have an addicting plot and stuff. Not sure about the LOLs material especially the Kyou-turning into Senge shit seriously wtf XD
Thanks for making us laugh as always

I swear that was the first thing that popped into my head, like “YO THIS GUY HAS REALLY NICE HAIR WTF”. it’s nicer than chris hemsworth’s….
haha they always are aren’t they? and they usually aren’t as dumb either (well depends on which company’s games you’re playing lol) like a good number of otoge heroines
It’s worth it just for Misaki. At least Senge’s silly af endings will make u shit bricks. Or mb it was sposed to be super srs and i just COMPLETELY missed the point
Thanks for dropping by <3

Aw man, you pretty much summed up my entire feels about this game, from Shigu’s dorky embarrassing shit, to Tatebu’s ‘O to’ the fucking ‘Ge’ route AGH–
The plot was lovely though. there needs to be more set in the older era’s, they always have such a nice vibe to them! Even the Ost is stunning~! And it’s great each end got it’s own song (i love Senge’s ED song, it’s so cool) But going through all those ends to get the true route was tiriing. there was like 20+ right? OAO;;
//rolling around// It was worth it for Misakii though~ He’s great~ He’s better than great, he’s fabulous!! Heck, i’m STILL smiling and i finished playing months ago asdfghjk–
Ufufu, The drunk Kyou scene is still one of my favorites Kyou’s guilty little voice i cant– i cant– /////////////////// <3

i keep coming back to read this because it's just great, i can't believe people give you crap for what are brilliant reviews~! Even the games i don't play i still check because your humor is adorable and it's so much fun to read~ ( =w=) <3 Please try not to get down about it, there's tons of us who root for you~!

Looking forward to the next review as always! Take care~~ //Pops a peach candy in ur mouth// ( ◕w◕) ✧

Woah, actual disclaimer. +1 for effort mate. Just got to reading this, school’s such a drag, you’re probably dying as well. Anyways, Kyou seemed to accept the bromance relationships he had with dem sexy men. Your sense of humour is superb~ I wonder what’s it like playing otome games/bl games baked (damn, that stuff be pricy here in Canada fffffff-). Hopefully there’ll be a new game review eventually :D (side note: Diabloik Lovers’s anime came out, plan on watching it? Hahah)

I want this to be an anime. I really think it has the depth to be one; not to mention that an anime shounen ai may allow character editing. I like Kyou’s appearance; the guy is really cute and yeah Misaki is best too.