An hour East of Eugene, the McKenzie River Recreational Trail waits to be conquered. A 26 mile path skirts the cold, rippling waterway. It’s one of America’s premier destinations for bikers, and hikers. Outdoor enthusiasts can also be spotted during the summer on the water in rafts of all shapes and sizes. Survival Bros floated it. However, here’s what’s its like to attack the upper part of the wilderness trail on my bicycle.

And I’m off. Going downhill mostly, to Clearwater Lake from the top of the trail. I will have to fill my stainless steel water bottle at the campground. Problem is, it’s hard to know what’s undrinkable, and what’s potable with all the well pumps around. I may have to take a chance, because I’m not buying water. I’m looking forward to adding 2 packets of Airborne Plus Energy into my drink for flavor, vitamins, and minerals.

The plan is to tackle the challenging section of course around the lake first, then take an easy trail back uphill to my vehicle. OK, get centered. Where are you? In the moment. Faster!!!

Root! Pop the front wheel over, and peddle. Good. Lean into this corner. Branch…We’re bushwacking today. Alright, NOW break. Shift weight back, coming off the seat. Who put this tree down here? Ever heard of a chainsaw? Pick up your bike. Thankfully, it’s lightweight, full chromoly frame. I’m so happy I invested in tuning this vintage ride up. The guys at Canyonview Cyclery took care of me. This is the video I produced at their shop after the Univega was restored to glory.

There’s the edge of the water at Clear Lake. I’ve never seen water so pristine. I bet I could drink straight from the lake. Ducks do it. I almost hit one fowl in my way. Move mallard. Already, I’ve narrowly avoided about 10 chipmunks, and a large rabbit too. I’ve seen squirrels try to take on bikes before. They ended up in the spokes without a head. That would ruin my day. I need a bell on this bike of mine to signal wildlife.

Now comes the hard part. Negotiating lava rock fields on two wheels. But I’ve been here before. Only I came from the opposite direction last time. I’m going to have to push it up this long hill. It feels great to get off my butt, and work other muscle groups. I like my new bicycle handle bar ends. Now I have more hand positions, and can really pull myself up steep inclines.

I’m flying. Let’s not forget our 5 D’s of mountain biking: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge! Corner! Hard left. Leaning into it, and looking where I want to go. Holy guacamole. I almost sailed into the lake. The canoers would have liked to see that. I’d rather not be fishing. This is what I came to do.

Bump. My nuts. Watch the nuts. You’re going to need those. Oh God, I have to split between a root, and a rock going fast. No room for error. Arrghhh. Made it. But that took all of my upper body strength. I haven’t screamed that loud since…oh, let’s keep it PG. I’m dumping sweat. This is my hell workout. Put it all on the line. Gasp. Exhale. Breath. Sigh. Focused. A few more miles of rocky road, and then a less technical section to savor. The McKenzie River Recreational Trail is damn tough. No wonder it’s one of the World’s most celebrated biking areas. I can do this. Finish strong. I’m the man. BEAST MODE!