Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Revelation

Last night, I did not sleep. I think I dozed off for about an hour or so. Today I only took a 1 1/2 hr nap. Body definitely need rest. But before I go, I just have a revelation this morning I like to share.

Going back to this post, I was talking about how my dad give up his career for his family. Now, I was thinking about my training. Earlier this year, I was really pushing hard and want to Kona qualify in the next five years. Big ambitious goal. Letting my ego go, I really think I can go pro (I am sure there are thousands of triathlete who feel the same way). What's better than getting pay to train?

Here is where my problem is. I was letting this idea in my head and neglected the family factor. Will give me a good talk this morning. He told me if my family doesn't support me doing Ironman, then IM is just one silly race.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that the negative thoughts from the past few days are the result of that. I forgot to share what I am doing with my family. Newbie mistake.

I asked myself this question, "if I am Kona qualified or made it to the pro, does it matter if my family is not there?" I read from Gordo's old article, he was talking about relationships and Kona. He was saying that, yes, you could go to Kona while going through a divorce and what not. But it will be much harder. It's true. I am sure some people do that. Sad to say. But we all have free will.

Now going back to my original thought about my dad. He gave up his career for his family. Now I am giving up family for training. Do you see where I am getting at? Basically instead of family, I put training first. I see a lot of people putting career over their family, and here I am putting training over mine.

I thought more along this line. It really doesn't matter how fast I race. If I make it to Kona, great. If I make it to a pro, great. If I am the middle of the pack, great. That's what God provide for me. I am grateful to be able to get up everyday just to train.

So what's the next step? Well, I am going to share with my sis first. She kinda knows but doesn't know too much. I don't want to ask her for help. If she want to give, great. If she doesn't, that's ok. I just want my family to understand why I am doing this. Then I will talk to my parents about it. To them, I am nuts (conservative chinese culture). But I am never conservative anyways ;) (liver-transplant, paintball, tri etc...).

I remembered Jack Nicholas said this once during a championship, "family is everything."

If there is someone that inspired me, it is Chris Lieto. There is an athlete who got it together. What really hit me is the pic of him and his son on the beach. Priceless!

29 comments:

Cliff, You are onto something. At mile 26.0 of my first and second marathons, I heard my dad scream GOOOOOO 'COLE! And when I crossed the finish line, I was such a little girl. Crying into my mom and dad's shoulders, snot and tears all over the place.

It was awesome!

After finishing marathon #3, which they did not attend, I sat down at the end of the finish chute and cried because I never felt so lonely in my entire life. Luckily a very nice man sat down next to me and let me use his cell phone.

So get them involved even if you don't think they'll "get" it. My parents knew nothing about running, but it's been great to have them involved.

I bet they will be thrilled to know you want them to become a part of it all.

Cliff, support from your family should be at the core, the foundation of your day to day life, to get that support you need to, as you say, get them involved

Good luck on your endeavours, as i have been thru the same my self, but when you have that support, that foundation ... you feel you can achieve anything ... you embrace each challenge with a renewed eagerness, cos you know those close to you are behind you

My family members are not my biggest fans either. Even my sister, who has run half marathons, thinks that I am crazy for running a marathon. I don't have any family in Toronto, but even if we were all in the same city, I couldn't imagine them coming out to my races. I am always envious when I read about how people have their family and friends waiting for them at the finish line.

Fortunately, I am not completely alone...my bf is supportive, and you are too, my good friend. I just wanted to say thank you. Being an athlete yourself...a SUPER athlete...you understand how much it means to me.

Cliff, it's never necessary to give up family for training. Look at some of the blogs around here, especially Mike (championseverywhere.blogspot.com). He's got two very young kids, a job, and still manages to train like an animal.

I can only agree with Craig - life is a balancing act. Don't think you have to give up your family in order to improve as an athlete. On the other hand, you won't have to say goodbye to Kona either, just because you stick with your family. The two can be combined.

Cliff, I know what you're saying but you're not married or anything right? I mean sure it's great if you're parents are supportive of you but you can't let that be a deciding factor. My parents have never been very supportive in what I do, they think it's a big waste of time and money and unfortunately or fortunately I don't have a family of my own yet (wife, kids). All I'm saying is the only person you can truly ever count on is yourself, it's great to have people supporting you but if you don't learn how to support yourself then none of it even matters.

And my perspective on the whole job thing is changing a tad as well, perhaps I just change my mind often. But the sad truth is that no matter how much you hate or job and love your training, you cannot support yourself or your training/racing without a job. And until we become pro and get paid to do what we love to do we're stuck just like everyone else doing what we hate for a living.

I totally agree with you on this one! It takes a very understanding family to make Ironman doable for an athlete. I've seen both sides - folks that are and that are not supportive of their spouses, etc. Everything goes *much* more smoothly when you have a support crew around you that understand and are behind your goals. Great post.

For me, family is everything. I run for God first, family, and then myself. Although at times I am running away from my family, nonetheless it is about my family. My husband's face is the only one I am interested in seeing at the end of a marathon. He's been at 4 out of the 5 I have run. If he weren't there I don't know how I would feel. He is as much of a runner partner as a non runner can be. He wants me to qualify for Boston almost as I want to qualify. Good luck finding your balance. Pray, meditate, and then talk to your family!!!

My family is really involved in sports. My sis is doing IMFL with me. My parents are attending both of my IMs this year. Last fall I ran a marathon with my dad and sister. Hopefully next year I'll run one with my dad and mom (who has taken up running because of us.)

I guess I'm pretty lucky in that regard. My family is 110% behind me on this IronMan quest. Does this mean that I never feel guilty about training so much. NO. Does it make it easier. Oh yea. Could I do it without there support. No, no way.

Evertime i'm in a race and I see my family I get so pumped up. On days when i'm draging thru another work out I imagine myself finishing IronMan. Running thru that banner with my family at my sides. I still get emotional every time think of it. Better stop, I'm at work and my co-workers are looking at me like I'm nuts. Good Luck and Take Care.

When I did my first Ironman last year my family made the trip with me and they made it even better. My parents, my wife, both daughters, and the future son-in-law were all there and all cheering for me during each loop through the transition area. And it was awesome having them there with me at the finish.

It was the perfct end to a perfect day. That's what a supportive family can do for a person.

Interesting posts for sure. I can only say that as parents, we make sacrifices for our children so that they may have a better life than we had. Not that our lives were bad, but as parents, it's hard to give up ownership of those sacrifices. We want to see our kids put them to good use, as I'm sure you parents would like to see you do.

But in the end, a sacrifice is a gift and it is yours to do with as you wish. It reminds me of the movie "Saving Private Ryan". When Tom Hanks ultimately gives his life for Pvt. Ryan, he tells him: MAKE IT COUNT. In the end, that's all we want as parents, we want our children to make our sacrifices count. Whatever you choose to do, make it count. If you make it count, your family will be happy.

It's good that you even get to recognize this before you find out that you'd love to involve the family. Occasionally at my races I have no one there to cheer for me due to work related cases and such. Even though you have the support of the crowd, it's nice having someone there with your water bottle or you gu packet. Definitely let them know how much it means to you! :-) I hope you get a well rested night soon.

I think going pro is one of those "be careful what you wish for" things. I'm not one, but I've known a few, and it's a difficult life in many ways. You are always one injury away from being out of work, homeless, etc. It adds a lot of stress to what should be an enjoyable activity.

Just found your blog...and I have to say this was an awesome post. I can very easily get caught up in my training and take my family, and their support for me, for granted. It's nice to be reminded of these things.

I hope your family will come around. My family used to think all this training was somewhat silly, but each time they come to a race they seem to love it and get all excited about it. I don't push it on them by any means, but I always let them know their support is appreciated.

CliffIn the end it is love which matters most. Whether it be the love of a partner, sibling, parent or friend seek it out first and all other things will fall into place. The apostle Paul said Let love be your greatest aim. Train, yes train hard but always be aware of what is most important.