3.

ME: I just feel like “pizza party” should refer to pizzas having a party. Humans having pizza at a party should just be a party with pizza. Does that make sense to you?
THERAPIST: I think we should meet more often

4.

therapist: why don’t you tell people when they hurt you instead of pushing them away without an opportunity to show you if they care enough about you to change their behavior
me: https://t.co/wXlB5IEFt2

12.

therapist: you have PTSD
me: hell yeah I have PTSD: Proficient Talent for Sucking DICK lmao
therapist: maybe we can talk about your use of humor as an unhealthy coping mechanism for the trauma you’ve experienced
me: Sheryl, I don’t think you understand how clever that joke was

13.

me to my therapist: so i told everyone at brunch, "that baby has TERF bangs" and i tweeted about it afterward and it did pretty well it got like 20-something likes i think
my therapist: *writing "INSANE ????????" on notepad*

20.

Therapist: what's wrong
Me: what if we spend our whole lives not believing in ghosts just to become a ghost that we desperately want someone to believe in
Therapist: *schedules an appointment with another therapist*

30.

me to my therapist: so i told everyone at brunch, "that baby has TERF bangs" and i tweeted about it afterward and it did pretty well it got like 20-something likes i think
my therapist: *writing "INSANE ????????" on notepad*

47.

48.

me: i hate everything and want to die
him: we all hate everything and want to die, you're not special
me: wow ok you're a terrible therapist
him: dude i'm not your therapist and my manager says i can't sell you "as many big macs as we can possibly make"