A High Price

You never know how your words can affect another person.

Inside my neighborhood grocery store, with milk and bread in hand, I found myself at the end of a long, slow-moving line.

As the line inched forward, the man two people ahead of me finally put his items on the conveyor belt. The end was near!

I zoned out briefly, but the man’s angry voice interrupted my reverie. “Hey! Those noodles are supposed to be on sale! You overcharged me!”

The cashier looked at the register. “They rang up at regular price, sir. They’re not on sale.”

“That’s why I’m telling you to fix it, because they’re on sale!” he said, his voice rising.

“Well, if they were on sale,” she explained, “it would have been in the computer. Perhaps a different brand is on sale?”

“NO!” he shouted. “I know. There was a sign. You need to fix it! You’re deceiving customers!”

By now he had the attention of everyone in the vicinity. The line, growing longer by the minute, was twisting snakelike through the front of the store. Some shoppers sighed, shifting from foot to foot and checking their watches. I understood the man’s desire to get a fair price, but to berate the cashier like this? To hold up the whole line? I wondered how much the savings was anyway.

“I’m not authorized to change prices,” the cashier explained, pushing a stray hair away from her face. “I am only allowed to sell things at the prices listed in the system. If you’d like me to take the items off your bill, I can do so. Or, if you’d like to speak to the manager about the 50-cent price difference, perhaps he can resolve the issue.”

“The manager?!” he shouted, his face reddening. “Why, that’s a great idea. I think I’ll do that!” In a huff he stalked off to find the manager, leaving the cashier stranded mid-sale and the rest of us watching, waiting and praying for this whole thing to be over quickly so we could just move on with our lives.

He returned with the manager several minutes later, gesticulating and loudly telling the story. “And I told her it was on sale and she didn’t believe me. She wouldn’t help me. She refused to do a thing!”

A few of us wanted to defend her, but he grabbed the manager’s arm and tugged him toward the cashier, pointing a reproachful finger at her.

“I can’t believe the service I get here. First, your store deceives customers about the prices and next your stubborn cashiers won’t even listen or help. This is ridiculous!”

It was the store’s new manager – I go there enough to know who's who. Maybe he felt that he needed to prove himself, maybe he was having a bad day or had some negative history with this cashier, but what followed absolutely shocked me.

“How could you?!” the manager shouted at her. “You have an obligation to serve the customers! If you couldn’t authorize a price change you should have come to me! And now you’ve gone and humiliated this man?”

Her face paling with sheer embarrassment, she began to answer back. Her words were heated. Their exchange became a shouting match.

“Well that does it,” the manager said finally, one hand on his hip and the other pointing at her. “You’re fired! Get out of my store!”

I gasped. Fired?! For this? I couldn’t believe it. Several people started toward the manager, but he waved them away and headed back to his office.

The now jobless cashier, an older woman, reached under the counter, grabbed her pocketbook and ran out of the store in tears.

Did the customer get what he wanted? Was someone’s job worth the 50 cents he saved on every bag of noodles?

Another cashier came to take her place and somehow I made it through the line and back out into the brilliant afternoon sun. As I replayed the incident in my mind, I kept thinking about the angry customer who started it all. Did he get what he wanted? Was he still there when she was fired or had he already marched out of the store? Was someone’s job worth the 50 cents he saved on every bag of noodles?

The receipt I had never put away was getting sweaty in my palm. I looked at it. Milk and bread. And a startling reminder to think before you speak. Because those words just might cost a lot more than you ever could have imagined.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 22

(22)
Nancy,
December 28, 2015 1:00 PM

What a horrible situation!

I am definitely not one of the most patient people on the planet. Yes, I would have been impatient on that line just like the other customers. However, I wish cooler heads had been able to handle this situation in a more satisfactory manner. This customer should not have yelled at the cashier. One can be assertive without being nasty. Also, the manager behaved in a most egregious manner. Finally, the cashier should have called the manager over sooner to correct the situation. We ALL want to save money, but we should never humiliate another person in the process of doing so!

(21)
Temima Bracha,
August 11, 2010 9:10 PM

Responses

To no name (#9) -
Nobody said that we should accept bad service. However, there is a way to do things, and making a scene and embarrassing someone is not the correct one! Also, like the rest of us, whoever is in charge of marking sales is only human, and mistakes do happen. Even in America, where the customer is supposedly "always right," we still have to keep in mind that people have feelings; they aren't machines.
To Joe (#13) -
I agree with you, and I hope that I would have the courage to actually speak up. It isn't so simple for everyone; I'm guessing that you have a very strong sense of justice, and when you see injustice, it's no problem for you to speak up. However, the article was about not hurting people with words, so just be careful how you word your views...
To Chava (#14) -
Maybe she was new at the job? Maybe that isn't standard procedure at that store? Maybe she had had a long day, or was up with a cranky child (or grandchild) the whole night, or has a family member in a medical crisis? Etc, etc... (and if this story happend in Israel, then we - most probably - have an obligation to judge EVERYONE in this story favorably)
Also, if you are able to accept every bit of mussar (rebuke) you get with your head bowed, and with an apology, instead of automatically fighting back, then kol ha'kavod (bravo) to you. If only I could reach that level someday. But for the rest of us, it is extremely difficult when being accused, especially when we feel it is unfair, and when in public, to just docilely say, "ok, I'm sorry." Most people, I think, will offer words in their defense, and the tenser the situation, the tenser the response.
I'm not saying that the cashier did nothing wrong, nor that I know every detail. I don't. But no one does, and therefore, let's not be so quick to judge and take sides - it's Elul, everyone! Let's pay more attention to the very important message of the article, than to picking apart the details.

(20)
Sally,
August 10, 2010 10:47 PM

rude customer

this story made me so sad. I too, used to be a cashier for a very large retail store. There were many times when a customer would act just like the one in the story. The sad thing is that each time our manager would just take the word of the customer, with no regard to how the cashier was treated. I fail to see how rude people got this sense of entitlement and think it is okay to be so insensative and rude to their fellow human.

(19)
Anonymous,
August 5, 2010 11:55 PM

the cashier "did not provide ..."

(to #14) have you ever been a cashier-do you know what the day is like-maybe she was right maybe wrong -maybe she should have verified it-BUT is the customers attitude at all correct is that how we as people should act-I challenge anyone to watch what goes on at a customer service desk on a busy day & woe unto the service person when they don't agree with the customer,even when they are polite-I have only been doing it for 4 years-yes,there are nice stories but you really have no idea!!

(18)
Anonymous,
August 4, 2010 2:07 PM

I frequent a store that has a sign in back of the cashier that says "Because Nice Matters." I reminded the cashier that that sign should not only be for the employees, but for customers, as well.

(17)
Mindy,
August 3, 2010 3:24 PM

If only one person had spoken up

I too wonder why no one said anything. I was once in a dress shop, when a teenage boy came in and started yelling at his mother that it was time for her to leave. I was horrified. I wanted to say something, but was worried that this would embarrass his mother even more, although she was just ignoring him. Finally, another shopper spoke up and told him tho stop being disrespectful to his mother. . An He looked shocked and was about to start to laugh and say something , when I found my voice. I looked at him and said, You are not going to get any support in here. Every woman in the shop looked up and stared at him, and he ran out of the store. I don't know what happened in that family later that day, but I am grateful to the woman who did speak. It has made me braver to speak out and stop verbal abuse elsewhere.

(16)
Aliza,
August 3, 2010 12:32 PM

I agree with #13

I've been on the cashier end of this story. I worked at a fast food restaurant as a cashier, and had been told by the manager to close after the last person in line. A man went to get on my line, so I explained to him that I was closing. He got very rude, my manager came out to see what was going on, and then the mgr chewed me out in front of all the customers. I hadn't been rude to the customer, and I was following the mgr's instructions. To berate me like that was humiliating.
It hasn't happened to me to be on the customer end, but I'd like to think that I would have spoken up - both to the man *and* the manager. Whether or not the cashier had been a poor worker in the past, from this description, the attacks were completely unwarranted by both, in addition to the firing.
We need to learn to speak up when we see people being treated badly. There are ways to do it without embarrassing the unhappy customer, or the overzealous manager.

(15)
David,
August 3, 2010 4:35 AM

Many years ago I worked for a law firm that the senior partner was like the rude customer in the article. He would do this regularly. One day he was taking all of the attorneys to lunch at a restaurant and the waitress did something. I never figured out what it was, but this guy just lost it and started yelling at her an the manager. The waitress was in tears. When we got up to leave I made sure that I was the last to leave and very quietly took a $50.00 bill out of my pocket and left it on the chair. It was all I could do for her.

(14)
chava,
August 2, 2010 10:46 PM

the cashier did not provide good customer service

The cashier did not provide good customer service. She should have verified to see if the item was on sale or not. This is standard procedure. The man did get very upset yes, but the cashier is also at fault. Perhaps it was not her first complaint as well. She argued back instead of apologizing for her mistake.

(13)
Joe,
August 2, 2010 8:24 PM

So why didn't YOU say something?

Stories like this always infuriate me. Not so much at the loudmouth fool - he was obviously wrong headed to the extent that he would not see the error of his ways. Rather, I am furious at those who watched and were too busy, too lazy, or more likely, too cowardly to do anything. This was clearly an unjust case. Had but one of those people who wanted to say something, not allowed themselves to be waved off or, even better spoken up during the confrontation, that woman's job would have been saved. The manager doesn't want angry customers disrupting his store. His prime objective is to end the issue right away. IF people do nothing, he mollifies only the miscreant. Had any of you hand wringers had the courage to speak out - even a little, the manager now doesn't want to look bad in front of a dozen - because once one person speaks, others find their courage. We see daily injustices. We wring our hands at the unfairness of them and it makes a good story to tell later. How brave. That woman lost her job, not just because of a bad manager and a jerk customer - but because you, and the other shoppers were cowards.

(12)
sam,
August 2, 2010 6:06 PM

sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me' is not a torah concept. In the torah we have a concept of 'hachaim vehamoves beyad halashon' life and death is in th power of the tongue. Also in this case he has commited 'murder'..for embarrasing one in public as if killed him

(11)
yehudit levy,
August 2, 2010 6:29 AM

don't go back.

Im sure your bread and milk didn't taste so great that morning. If it doesn't inconvenience you too much, you shouldn't support the store anymore.... and perhaps let the "manager" know why!

(10)
Shaindel,
August 2, 2010 1:11 AM

Thanks for this article. It's a good reminder that we really need to think about other people and not just about ourselves when someone makes a mistake on our bill (maybe it wasn't even a mistake anyhow).

(9)
,
August 2, 2010 12:05 AM

If everyone accepted bad service (this was bad service by the marking of the product) we would not be able to keep high standards - and moreover, these shops would resort to "cheating" the public and once again be making "extra profit" for their share-holders.

(8)
Brochie,
August 1, 2010 8:30 PM

They tried to defend the cashier...

In response to the comments of #5:
There certainly are many cases where people watching could have and should have spoken up and saved the day. The author and others in the store (who live in Jerusalem) were presumably kind and caring Jews who speak up for their fellowmen, however:
1. "A few of us wanted to defend her, but he grabbed the manager’s arm and tugged him toward the cashier, pointing a reproachful finger at her."
2. "Several people started toward the manager, but he waved them away and headed back to his office."
Malka, what a shocking and powerful story. Thanks for sharing, and your lesson is taken to heart. What I consider simply my right to vent or complain could hurt someone much more than I intend. I"yH, the poor cashier will move on to bigger and better things!

(7)
Channie,
August 1, 2010 6:14 PM

Response to Otis, #3

This comment is completely contradictory to the comment you posted for the revious article, "Crushed". Are you only concerned about manners when someone might be watching?

(6)
Victor,
August 1, 2010 5:31 PM

Thinking and Speaking

If this is an accurate account in the essentials of what happened, yes, the man appears to have been a selfish jerk, speaking without thought or caring about anyone else. On the other hand, there were those who perhaps did more than enough thinking and too little speaking. Wouldn't it have been interesting if at least one if not a few customers in that line took a stand in the cashier’s defense, saying, "Mr. Manager, fire her for this rude fellow's sake and you can have your groceries back." One might have begun and others may have agreed and followed. What would the manager have done then? But alas, how often is it that bystanders speak up for justice on behalf of their oppressed neighbor? Will anyone stand and speak up for us when we are unjustly treated? Have we done so for others? Could that cashier have neglected to take a stand when she had the opportunity and now was reaping only what she had sown? “Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me.”

(5)
Victor Hafichuk,
August 1, 2010 4:46 PM

Thinking and Speaking

If this is an accurate account in the essentials of what happened, yes, the man appears to have been a selfish jerk, speaking without thought or caring about anyone else. On the other hand, there were those who perhaps did more "thinking" than speaking. Wouldn't it have been interesting if at least one, if not a few, customers in that line took a stand, saying, "Mr. Manager, fire that cashier for this rude fellow's sake and you can have your groceries back." What would the manager have done then? One might have begun and others may have agreed and followed. But alas, how often is it that bystanders speak up for justice on behalf of their neighbor? Will any stand and speak up for us when we are unjustly troubled? Have we done so for others? Could that cashier have neglected to take a stand when she had the opportunity and now was reaping only what she had sown? “Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me.”

(4)
,
August 1, 2010 4:09 PM

The Customer is Always Right - I thought

I worked register for a large Drug/Pharmacy. I was brand new and charged a woman 6 cents tax on a paper product that wasn't taxable. She created a scene at the register and brought my mistake to my attention very loudly. I apologized and said I was new and hadn't memorized the different taxables yet and would ring her purchase correctly.. While I was voiding her purchase, to ring her up again, my boss the Pharmacist, stepped over to the register to inquire. He told her that we do charge tax on that item. She said WELL at the grocery store down the street they don't charge tax on this item. My boss refunded all her money and said to the woman, "Then perhaps you should do your shopping there".
It was a non-taxable item. She was correct. Wish I could ask the ethicist what Jewish law would have required of us.
Two lessons were learned by me that day. My boss got rid of an unwanted customer, and stood by me knowing that I made a mistake..
I know this quote is true because I've never forgotten that incident that happened 36 years ago.
"You will forget what people said,. You will forget what people did. But you will never forget how people made you feel.".

(3)
Otis R. Needleman,
August 1, 2010 3:59 PM

Payback's a bummer.

The man who acted like an animal at that store and caused that cashier to lose her job will be paid back, and it could well be very nasty. Try to have some manners, people. You never know WHO is watching.

(2)
natalie,
August 1, 2010 2:00 PM

wow what an absolutely terrible story!!!!! Did anybody go back to the manager later when he had calmed down and let him know exactly how cruel he was to the cashier??? this really upset me

(1)
Rosen,
August 1, 2010 1:33 PM

words really do hurt

Great article on how much words really do hurt (even though much of them are free speech), which can really implicate others. We probably should get over the notion that satisfaction is guaranteed since humans can't always satisfy everyone as part of the human element in the equation...Understandably, when it comes to the small, typical stuff, we can usually get it, even though we need to know what we ultimately want in life in the broader scope...Also, the words bullies use throughout one's school years can also have a negative impact where the victim will likely replay those words in his/her head thousands and thousands of times over...Now, this article came at a pretty good time since I was working yesterday, a lady who came into the shop I worked at making prosthelytizing comments trying to get me to "open my heart to Jesus Christ", which got me shaken, but I stood my ground explaining why I don't believe in such a system, given that Christianity is NOT a one-size-fits-all. Made me wonder if I should have left work early since it was shabbas yesterday, like I try to jet out early sometimes on Saturdays in attempts to make baby steps in observing shabbas.

My nephew is having his bar mitzvah and I am thinking of a gift. In the old days, the gift of choice was a fountain pen, then a Walkman, and today an iPod. But I want to get him something special. What do you suggest?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Since this event celebrates the young person becoming obligated in the commandments, the most appropriate gift is, naturally, one that gives a deeper understanding of the Jewish heritage and enables one to better perform the mitzvot! (An iPod, s/he can get anytime.)

With that in mind, my favorite gift idea is a tzedakah (charity) box. Every Jew should have a tzedakah box in his home, so he can drop in change on a regular basis. The money can then be given to support a Jewish school or institution -- in your home town or in Israel (every Jews’ “home town”). There are beautiful tzedakah boxes made of wood and silver, and you can see a selection here.

For boys, a really beautiful gift is a pair of tefillin, the black leather boxes which contain parchments of Torah verses, worn on the bicep and the head. Owning a pair of Tefillin (and wearing them!) is an important part of Jewish identity. But since they are expensive (about $400), not every Bar Mitzvah boy has a pair. To make sure you get kosher Tefillin, see here.

In 1944, the Nazis perpetrated the Children's Action in the Kovno Ghetto. That day and the next, German soldiers conducted house-to-house searches to round up all children under age 12 (and adults over 55) -- and sent them to their deaths at Fort IX. Eventually, the Germans blew up every house with grenades and dynamite, on suspicion that Jews might be in hiding in underground bunkers. They then poured gasoline over much of the former ghetto and incinerated it. Of the 37,000 Jews in Kovno before the Holocaust, less than 10 percent survived. One of the survivors was Rabbi Ephraim Oshri, who later published a stirring collection of rabbinical responsa, detailing his life-and-death decisions during the Holocaust. Also on this date, in 1937, American Jews held a massive anti-Nazi rally in New York City's Madison Square Garden.

In a letter to someone who found it difficult to study Torah, the 20th century sage the Chazon Ish wrote:

"Some people find it hard to be diligent in their Torah studies. But the difficulty persists only for a short while - if the person sincerely resolves to submerge himself in his studies. Very quickly the feelings of difficulty will go away and he will find that there is no worldly pleasure that can compare with the pleasure of studying Torah diligently."

Although actions generally have much greater impact than thoughts, thoughts may have a more serious effect in several areas.

The distance that our hands can reach is quite limited. The ears can hear from a much greater distance, and the reach of the eye is much farther yet. Thought, however, is virtually limitless in its reach. We can think of objects millions of light years away, and so we have a much greater selection of improper thoughts than of improper actions.

Thought also lacks the restraints that can deter actions. One may refrain from an improper act for fear of punishment or because of social disapproval, but the privacy of thought places it beyond these restraints.

Furthermore, thoughts create attitudes and mindsets. An improper action creates a certain amount of damage, but an improper mindset can create a multitude of improper actions. Finally, an improper mindset can numb our conscience and render us less sensitive to the effects of our actions. We therefore do not feel the guilt that would otherwise come from doing an improper act.

We may not be able to avoid the occurrence of improper impulses, but we should promptly reject them and not permit them to dwell in our mind.

Today I shall...

make special effort to avoid harboring improper thoughts.

With stories and insights,
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