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The content of each post is solely written by that contributor and only expresses the contributor's personal views. Each post does not represent the views of all the contributors or Women of Color Living Abroad as an organization. Each contributor is speaking from their own person experiences and/or perspective.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Nicole Maisha, January 2013 - On a recent flight from Washington DC to Dakar, Senegal we
had a strange experience. Before we took off, the pilot got on the PA
system and told us there would be quite a bit of turbulence for the first part
of the trip. A couple of passengers nearby were also telling several of
us that it would be a very bumpy ride initially because of a storm system
brewing over the Atlantic. But alas, after takeoff and more than two
hours into the flight there was nothing beyond the normal bumps here and there.
Then suddenly one of the flight attendants walked hurriedly down the aisle
and told his colleague to put away the duty free cart because we were getting
ready to "hit some really bad turbulence". You can imagine the fear
we experienced upon hearing his words. Our
anxiety was more a reaction to his tense demeanor than anything else. I
turned to my husband and asked him to make du'a (Islamic term for supplication)
for our safety and protection. We never actually hit any bad turbulence.
In fact, we didn't hit more than a few waves and bumps that were scarcely
felt. It seems that the pilot was able to avert the storms and winds by
slightly changing course. And that change even got us to our destination
about 30 minutes early!

Cape Verdean Ferry

I often write about the spiritual, visceral and
emotional experiences of traveling. I'm usually referring to the part where you've actually arrived at and are enjoying your destination. But when you
really think about it, the getting there is just as enlightening. Planetravel has distanced us from the precariousness of international
journeys; however, even when you're in- country you get a sense of how risky
and scaryany voyage can be. For example, I was justtraveling in Senegal - from the capital Dakar down to Kedougou,
the southeastern edge of the country close to the border with Guinea.
It's approximately 500 km and if road infrastructure was good it would be
about a 7- hour drive. But the roads in the country's interior are narrow,
windy and riddled with potholes in some parts. To top it off, the
buses used to transport passengers are old, rickety and often in poor mechanical
shape. Seats can be old, windows not working and passengers squeezed into
tight seats and rows. What adds to the dangerousness are the mounds of
luggage, goods and boxes that are piled high on the roof and the seeming
recklessness of the drivers who are often sleep-deprived before setting off on
the 12- to 13-hour overnight drive. You are literally on a wing and a
prayer during those trips.

I've heard many stories, both in the news and from personal
accounts, of people injured or even killed in bus accidents. My friend’s
cousin had to get stitches on her face and arms after her bus from Conakry,
Guinea tipped over in the middle of the night. Even my husband gets antsy. On our most recent bus trip to Kedougou he
gave the driver a piece of his mind. When
he felt we were going too fast, he yelled out, “hey, you have our life in your
hands. Be careful!” Then, there was the time I took an hour-long ferry ride
between islands in Cape Verde. The Atlantic Ocean was rough, the boat was
unstable, people were getting sea-sick, and I was traveling alone. I
seriously thought the boat might capsize. Obviously, it didn't
Halfway through, I made subtle contact with an older man on the boat who had
clearly made the trip numerous times. We were able to communicate
with the few Creole words I knew and he tapped my back and comforted me as he
saw my motion-sickness and the shear fear on my face.

If you are brave - or
some would say naive- enough to take these kind of trips (or just one of tens
of thousands of people who have no choice), then you will likely be tapping
into your personal faith and spiritual foundation for protection. These examples
are pretty extreme, I know! But even with the statistical safety of modern
aviation, nothing is guaranteed. You're likely not completely comforted by
numbers when you weather the severe turbulence of an ocean storm that reaches
you 33,000 feet in the air. When youtravel, you are vulnerable, you put yourself at risk and many times
you pray that you make it to the other side unscathed. It is a hardship
and a blessing.

Pretty nice tour bus in the desert of Bahrain

The bus that goes from Dakar to Kedougou

The acknowledgement
of this travel duality – the danger and the benefit -figures prominently in
Islamic tradition. Seeking blessings and protection during travel is very
important for Muslims. Muslims frequently
refer to the reported sayings and examples of the Prophet Mohamed (called Hadiths) for guidance. One Hadith
says, “Three supplications will not be rejected (by
Allah (SWT)), the supplication of the parent for his child, the supplication of
the one who is fasting, and the supplication of the traveler”. It is believed thatduring travel supplication is heard by Allah (SWT) if the trip is for a
good reason, but if the trip is for a bad intention this will not apply to it.Upon returning from a journey it is reported that the Prophet
Mohamed would say, “We are returning,
repenting, worshiping and praising our Rabb (Lord)”.

Finally,
this verse from the Holy Qur’an
touches the heart of what it means to travel. “O mankind! We created
you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made into you into nations
and tribes, that you may know each other (not that you may despise each
other). Surely the noblest amongst you in the sight of God is the most
god-fearing of you. God is All-knowing and All-Aware" (Quran
49:13). As a Muslim, an adventurer and a world traveler, I gladly and humbly accept
those hardships and blessings each and every time I have the opportunity!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Travelling the
world alone is an experience in itself. Being able to navigate through the many
obstacles that present themselves in your path is a test of endurance and
patience. But when the road is taken with friends it’s a blessing in disguise.
The company of close friends brings about a different atmosphere. Worries no
longer exist, because things that are indelibly you, are put at ease in
familiar company. Those that don’t enjoy the luxury of familiar company, travel
alone. But when time permits itself for new introductions it’s the perfect
opportunity to become acquainted with new friendships. When choosing new
friendships it’s important to look for those qualities that will not clash with your own, because once you leap into an
adventure with someone regrets can emerge.

Take these helpful tips
when choosing new acquaintance for your journey in the world, for they will
save you a headache in the long run.

Frugal vs. CarefreeThere is nothing wrong with
being thrifty with money. At some point in time many of us find ourselves being
thrifty with our own money. Although, being frugal varies by degree there is
one thing that should be kept in mind when travelling People of inequality
spending ideologies are not always the perfect travel partners. Someone who’s
more or less a spendthrift should be mindful of those that aren't. One will
find inequalities with room amenities (4 or 5 star hotels vs. cheap multi-room
lodging), choice in food selection (pricey restaurants vs. convenience store
fare) and transportation (hiring of private cars or taxis vs. buses and
subways). No matter your spending preference, it’s best to keep in mind that you may be travelling alone if these
differences are an issue.

Church goers vs. Bars and
Club goersAs in all things in life there are people who hold strong
religious ideologies than many others. These views will affect how they see the
outside world, and who they surround themselves with. Although, they hold no
offense towards others, the way they behave may be conservative. These degrees
of conservatism vary person by person. One’s idea of a good time may be dancing
and drinking while another’s view would see these in a bad light. It would be
best to avoid awkward conversation or not place yourself in a position where
your morals will be under fire by someone that beliefs are more conservative
than your own. In the end you will feel miserable having to spend your time in
the company of another’s, whose company you wish to avoid.

Argumentative vs. Freedom
of SpeechFor those that believe
everyone has a right to voice opinions they hold dear to their hearts whether
those beliefs conflict with others or reality, they still have that right to
share their ideas without being verbally crucified by those that hold no such
ideas. There are times people encounter those that look down on the opinions of
others in such a fierce way it’s unfathomable to believe that such ideas would
warrant such passionate responses. When such things occur one would find
themselves in two positions. That is either as an even fiercer responder
towards the instigator or using the freedom of speech card. By playing this
card, you present the idea of everyone having the right to believe in anything,
because at the end of the day opinions hurt no one. This card more likely would
keep an argument from ensuing, but there is a small percentage of failure. Keep in mind when travelling with others;
avoid those that are boastful of their own opinions.

Decisive vs. IndecisiveFor those that find making
a decision a long drawn out process, it’s best to avoid those that are quick
deciders. Indecisiveness brings out the worst in others who hold quick decisions
to heart. It’s best to travel with people of like minds in the decision making
process. Be mindful of this trait when choosing that perfect partner.

Young vs. MatureFor years I've pondered why
my grandmother chooses to travel lengthy trips around the world with others close
to her age. Although, she has invited me
along on a trip with seventy year old women, which I pondered for a minute and
kindly declined her offer. Knowing the fact full well that grandmothers are
grandmothers, and will embarrass you no matter what. My grandmother graduated
from the school of infallible jokes. Being the jest for her friends is not
something I would want to remember in this lifetime. Since I was at the age of
nearly easy embarrassment I could not hold my own in her endless supply of
streaming jokes. I have noticed as I have gotten older I'm sort of like my
grandmother besides the joking, but I'm more comfortable with people in my age group with shared experiences. I know travelling with someone far younger than myself would make for awkward
conversations, and little to find common ground. With that being said, age can
be a barrier when travelling and travelling with people older or younger may be
difficult.

I, myself know the
importance of choosing the right person or group to engage certain activities
with. Unfamiliar acquaintances or those you are barely familiar with can
present challenges on your adventure if you are travelling together. Please keep
these tips in mind from my experiences to avoid future upsets, and having a
lonely trip when your intentions were to travel with someone counters acts what
you originally intended to do in the first place. To avoid a lonely, awkward or
downright horrid trip find your travel mate based on common ground.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

I’m mourning with my community today.I’m far from the Queens streets of New York
City I grew up in or the Kingston neighborhood where my grandparents lived in
Jamaica.I’m in a small town, unknown by
most, a little more than an hour inland from Muscat, Oman.The statistically high incident of traffic
accidents here now feels real as the tragedy has hit home.The young man hurled from a recent collision
was my neighbor’s son.

Since living abroad I’ve always tried my best to blend in,
and today is no different.I solemnly
enter the sorrowful family’s home like another ripple in the sea of flowing
black abaya gowns which seem most fitting for a day like today.Trying to imitate the others, I enter with
lowered eyes and lingering handshakes, mumbling salutations and inaudible
prayers.The boundary between family and
community is so thin that I greet everyone as if they are the mother of the
deceased because, in actuality, everyone feels the loss. From room to room, I continue the procession
wondering who is who in this house full of women. A familiar face directs me to the matriarch of
the family.She lies in bed, as if
ailing from grief.The sorrow was so
thick I couldn’t bear entering the room.I wasn’t sure about coming here.I don’t know this household so well.Yes, I feed their goats my compost and we exchange pleasantries when we
see each other, but this was my first time actually entering beyond the tall
gate.Should I have brought something to
give them?What exactly should I
say?I exit their home and assure myself
that I did the right thing by coming. This is my community.They know I’m not from around here but
they’ve grown accustomed to my oddness and so have I.

From the time I first moved abroad, I was vigilant, almost
obsessive about fitting in.I was
prepared to dress, speak, and behave as the locals do.I was determined not to cause the slightest
blip on the visual or social radar screen.However, after adopting the dress code and language of another land, I
found that I still couldn’t really assimilate.After my name, I am most-often asked “Where are you from?”At a distance, my stature and stride set me
apart.My function over fashion
sensibilities keep me from wearing cute, heeled sandals in my desert village,
and when was the last time you heard of a vegan in Arabia? No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t veil
my otherness.No matter what I said or
did, I was still different.

Over the years, I’ve come to terms with this myth of “fitting
in.”I stopped apologizing for being
strange and cringing when I’m introduced as the American.I learned to express my views and articulate
my lifestyle choices in a way that was comprehensible but not confrontational.I realized that I can embrace another culture
without wholeheartedly adopting it as my own.No matter how much I imitate, there is still a line drawn in the desert sand
but those boundaries, however real or artificial they may be, don’t keep me
from having authentic relationships with people and sharing in our commonality.

I live in a small town where most of its residents have
lived for generations.They are born, go
to school, marry, raise children, age, and die in this very place.They know where everyone lives along the
unmarked pathways and know everyone’s name without a phone directory.But more important than their deep roots in
this neighborhood is their social obligation to one another.At the announcement of a birth or death, they
are celebrating and lamenting with the affected before the story even goes to
print.I used to find this tight knit
tapestry of community intrusive but I now see it as inclusive.Even if only symbolically, every family’s
joys and tragedies appear to have the same value, concern, and relevance to
all.Some of my neighbors have more
wealth and prestige than others, some are orphaned, divorced, or widowed, some
are foreigners, like myself, but none of us seem to be left out, even if we
don’t fit in.

At this point in my life I realize my home is where I am and
my community is where I live.I’ve
negotiated the tango of “give and take” and try to accommodate the culture in
which I reside without losing myself in the process.I’ll continue to accept the dates and turn
down the Omani coffee.I’ll eat with my
hands but avoid the meat.I’ll don the
black abaya but opt for a colorful head scarf.But most importantly, I will rejoice and grieve with my community, even
if we don’t always agree.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Yep,
you read correctly.You can stop wiping
your eyes, or staring at the screen with your face scrunched up and head cocked
to the side.I, Brittany, ate dog…on
purpose.No I am not starving or in a
third world country.No I wasn’t on Fear
Factor or the victim of a really demented dare.I didn’t get paid for it and outside of this post, I didn’t really cause
much of a fuss.It was just a typical
Saturday in Korea and I decided “I think I’ll eat dog today.”

I know a few of you need a moment to
process that.I’m sure a few of you may
feel you know me somewhat if you are a loyal reader of my posts.I know at least a handful of people are
reading this like “I was with you on everything, but DOG?! Really?!You are on your own on that one.”Need a moment?Cool.Take 5.Look at this completely
unrelated video to ease your mind.

We good now?Interested in Ameriquest...or maybe pick up on my subliminal message in the tagline? Cool.I know…the next thought after the “Eww!” or “OMG!” is “WHY?!” so here it
is:because they serve it.I mean as long as it isn’t human (and hey,
even that isn’t off limits for some people) and is considered a delicacy (or at
least local cuisine) somewhere, then why not?In my personal opinion, there is nothing wrong with eating dog, but
Eastern cultures have started to shy away from it because of how Western
(particularly American) cultures have made them feel about it.Why is it gross or primitive to eat a
dog?I believe it is because we view
dogs as household pets and family members at best.How could you eat a member of the
family!?You savage individual you.But hey, my Grandmommy had a pet chicken
once, and you better believe she can fry a mean bird.

Such eager foreigners. Our food was getting cold...

Think about it, why shouldn’t we eat
dog---because it is a pet?Well in that
case, Grandmommy eats her pet regularly.I have a friend who had a pet cow named Oprah(we are from the same state).Do you think she doesn’t eat hamburgers or
steak?Ever have a pet fish?So only the small ones are cute and shouldn’t
be eaten but the big ones are fair game?But you’re right…a dog is a “special” pet.-_-

Or maybe that is just unhealthy or
unnatural in some way…perhaps even ungodly to have such a meal.Without turning this into any type of
spiritual conversation on what not to eat I will just say pork…really?Pork is like THE most unhealthy meat we can
consume.No matter what we name it
(bacon, ham, pork steak, sausage, pig feet, chitterlings/”chitlins”, etc), it
is still terrible for our bodies.Dog is
actually a leaner meat and many Koreans believe it is good for your health.But, I digress.

My friend was happy to share this part of her culture with me...just not happy that we took so many pictures. :-)

Bottom line, my reason for eating
dog is to say that I am embracing a part of their culture that my (American)
culture rejects.I ate it because I am
learning to acculturate myself to the world’s culture and not just my own
little piece of earth.I ate it so the
next time someone calls me a picky eater I can say “If only you knew…”It made me feel a little like a daredevil,
too.Don’t be fooled; it played with my
head a little when I saw the food in front of me.I just scooped up a large spoonful and shoved
it in my mouth before I could over-think it.After that, it wasn’t that bad!

WARNING: First bite of dog causes you to change colors.

I ate it in two forms: a bibimbap
and a soup.I prefer the bibimbap
form.The meat was lean and spicy.It tasted a little like goat (yes I have
eaten that, too…is that one off limits too? J Oh well…).I sat there with my friends chatting away as
if we were sharing a pizza.Of course we
took a TON of pictures (as it was my American friend’s first time eating it as
well.My Korean friend just shook her
head and laughed at us.) to document our “Bucket List” event.Would I eat it again?Yes.HOWEVER, I don’t see myself ever getting a craving and saying “Hey, let’s
eat dog tonight!”I WOULD however eat it
again if a friend wanted to try it and was scared to do it on their own.Friends don’t let friends eat dog alone.
;-)In the meantime, bring on my
Grandmommy’s pet chicken and my friend’s pet cow!

It comes out like this...

...then you add raw egg and white rice, stir, and VOILA!

It doesn't look so bad...right?

The workers were so nice to us and
very worried about us foreigners eating dog.They constantly asked us if it was ok and if we thought it was
delicious.This is exactly what I mean.Poor Koreans, all worried about what us
foreigners think of something that makes them happy and isn’t really our
concern.After we finished eating, we
were escorted to a bus stop and informed that it will take about 25 minutes
before the next bus comes.Not even
three minutes later after we ate Fido, FeFe, and Fluffy, a dog goes sniffing
around in the field in front of the restaurant.We all just looked at each other like “Uh Oh.”

The victim...

As time progressed and a bus still
hadn’t come, we started making up a whole story about that dog.It sniffed its way all the way to behind the
restaurant and we pronounced him dead on arrival.After we had a good laugh about it and the
dog STILL didn’t resurface, we stopped smiling.Where exactly do they get the dogs for the restaurant anyway?I’ve never seen “Beef, Chicken, and Dog”
listed at the grocery store.We imagined
the dog fell victim to a bug zapper meant for dogs and would soon be served
up.To make matters worse, shortly
thereafter a man came walking by looking for something (or someone).He practically traced the steps of the dog
and eventually ended up behind the building…for a loooonnng time.Oh great, now the bug zapper got him, too!That explains why the field on the side of
the restaurant looks like the earth was freshly turned. Poor guy…didn’t stand a chance.

The crime scene...

Just when we have completely turned
our innocent dining experience into a sick horror story, our ride comes and it
is time to leave this place.Even in my
brave moment of eating that meal, a tiny part of American me wondered where the
dogs came from and felt sorry for the dog I saw.What can I say, I can’t overcome everything
at once—Rome wasn’t built in a day!

Definition List

About Me

This blog is part of Expat Women of Color website (www.expatwomenofcolor.com). It was designed to educate and provide resources for women of color who desire or are currently living abroad. This blog was created to help promote information about how to travel in different countries, inexpensive ways to travel, lessons learned while traveling, and resources that can help other women who desire to take the leap and move abroad in the future. Welcome ABROAD!