Auntie *looks rejected “ok then…. Do you want some cake? Grandma made them”
Me *Rubs tummy “No Thanks, I am full, I just ate dinner”
Auntie *Looks sadder “but Grandma made them, they are not sweet”
Me *tummy is still full “Thank you, but no thanks, I am not hungry
Auntie “ok …..”

Yell from the end of her garden where my Mother-in-law is picking Cherries

MIL “Ahoj Simon, Do you want some Cherries?”
Me : “No Thanks, Matej is about to go to sleep, I want to say goodnight”
Auntie “Come and pick some Cherries, they are lovely”
Me “I know, I love them, but I am not hungry, and Matej is about to go to sleep:
MIL “You don’t like the Cherries ?” *looks like I have just shot her dog…
Me “Yes, I love them, but Matej is about to go sleep”
Auntie “You don’t like my Cherries, come and pick some” *looks like I have murdered her children
Me Thanks, but I have to go, I want to say goodnight to Matej”
MIL “You don’t like the cherries?” *looks at me like I am Adolf Hitler
Me “Yes, I love them, but I am not hungry, and Matej is about to go to sleep”
Auntie “But, come and have some cherries, they are very nice” (I fucking know)
Me “I know Aunty, but I am not hungry”
MIL “You are looking thin, why don’t you have some Cherries?”

Me “Bye”

I love these people, and they are the kindest in the world, they just cannot understand that I don’t want to Mr Creosote !