Hey, Babies. What’s your New Sign?

Yay!!!! Friday!!!!! It may be time to brush up on your pick-up lines since there’s a new sign.

A 13th sign is being added to the Zodiac calendar to account for the Earth’s shift over the last few thousand years.

WTF? Did I need my mind blown today? No.

Astronomer Park Kunkle says the signs you were born under are different now because a wobble on the planet’s axis generated a one-month bump in star alignment.

It just freakin’ figures. I’m now the water boy. How just like life. Grrrr.

Star gazers say ‘Earth is currently in a different spot in relation to the Sun, and its equatorial alignment has changed from 3,000 years ago when the study of astrology began — back when 12 zodiac signs were assigned to 12 different periods of the year’.” (NBC 2 News)

Aw, rats. I was a borderline Capricorn anyway (by 4 minutes), now I’m a Sagittarius. My father and sister are now – what the heck is that thing? Upsy-daisy? Ouchy-oochy? Ah, whatever! Figure out what an Ophiuchus is, and let us know! And thanks for this stellar update! (Uck! Bad puns! Phooie! No, Opi-phooie!)

Omigod, the new sign is Egyptian? Don’t you know all Egyptian gods are evil aliens? (The Goa’uld!) Now they’re gonna come through the Stargate and get us! And they’re gonna be PISSED, ’cause we’ve blown up several of their fellow Goa’uld! WE’RE IN FOR IT NOW! Somebody call the Tok’ra! The Asgard! SOMEBODY!!!
(Reality is a crutch for those who can’t handle Stargate!) 😀
By the way, why does that Astrology site NOT have the 13th symbol on its’ header?

Oh, dear lady, you are missing SO much. I’m not big into the spinoffs (ok, 2nd tier spinoffs), but SG-1 was great – until they promoted Jack O’Neill. Besides, it’s got Amanda Tapping AND Teryl Rothery (my fave – I like short, tough women so much, I married one!) for the guys, Richard Dean Anderson AND Michael Shanks AND Christopher Judge for the girls, military stuff, explosions, sci-fi, alternate history, cool technology…. a perfect set-up for any nerd-fan! If you get Showtime on your cable/satellite package, it runs on the “Showtime Beyond” channel. I’d recommend it, but as you can tell from my write-up, I have mixed feelings. (Yeah, RIGHT! Haven’t seen the boy drool so much since he met Grace Lee Whitney!) Sorry, that was one of the voices in my head. I don’t mind them talking, it’s when they hijack the keyboard that I get a little miffed… 😀

It’s easier to do the multi-theistic pantheons as aliens. Single deities don’t work as well, unless you use Star Trek TNG’s episode “The Devil’s Due” as a model. Besides, ancient Egyptians or Norsemen aren’t really the suicide-bomber types, so it’s pretty safe to take liberties with THEIR gods. Now, maybe if a few Greeks declared … (whatever “jihad” translates into Greek) because somebody named a car “Apollo” or something like that, THEN franchises like SG1 would be in trouble……

i couldn’t spell sagittarius without googling it (2 t’s? 2 r’s?), and now i can’t even pronounce ophiuchus, let alone spell it! i think i’ll just tell people i was adopted, and my birth records were lost, so i don’t know what sign i am.

But there’s so many other options! Your sign could be “One Way”, “School Zone”, “One Lane Bridge”, or my favourite from the Elgin, Illinois area – “Do Not Pick Up Hitch-Hikers”. (These signs are around the perimeter of the state looney bin. C’mon, I’d think they would be FUN to pick up!)

Or the cause of Toyota’s next recall. “Today, Toyota recalled 90,000 Priebus built between 2008 and 2010 to replace a faulty reince joint. Failure of this joint could cause excessive partisanship and a failure of the common sense systems. Toyota recommends you do not drive your Priebus until you have the Reince joint replaced. Thank you, The Management”

And just how did his parents come up with that name? Did they feed the dog Scrabble tiles until he barfed, and that’s what came out? Or until the dog…. um…. “finished digesting” the tiles, and that’s all they could pick out of the … um… “partisan rhetoric”? (Hey, I like that! Instead of yelling “Shit!” when something goes wrong, yell “Partisan Rhetoric!”. Naw, that wouldn’t work, too hard to get that out through clenched teeth after a guy falls off his bicycle seat onto the upper bar.) 😉

Oh, dear girl, I’ll put it this way. All I was in school was overweight and bespectacled, and plenty of folk made my life Hell. If we here can come up with these rather unkind anagrams, imagine what a vicious, vindictive mass of schoolkids could come up with! Might explain a lot about the guy, though…… 😉

You DO realise you’ve found THE greatest source of comedy film available to Americans, yes? World War 2 health training films. You have to see the one on malaria (I think that’s the one) With the mosquito drawn like Jessica Rabbit. Great fun!

Sorry, should’ve warned you about that. I’ve seen so many of these things that I’ve been numbed to some of the more horrific sights. Look for the animated ones (and there are far more than you would think there should be!), they are tamer and also far funnier.

Oh, Lawdie, Lawdie, there is SO much ammunition there for REALLY bad puns. It’s just too easy. (And the first person to reply “It ain’t easy bein’ cheesy” will be painted bright orange and mailed to John Boehner as statue material!) So are you saying that Reince NEEDS the cure for penis brie, or he IS the cure for penis brie? Please, we’ve already done the Congressional page jokes to death some years ago!

Oh, Noonie9999, sinking to rancid puns? Don’t you know puns are THE lowest form of humour, representing a truly diseased and warped mind?
I LOVE IT!!!!! BLESS YOU!!!!!
Keep ’em coming, I’m a pun fiend! (Kinda like a dope fiend, but since my prescriptions are WAY better than what I could get on the streets, I’ll stick with puns!) 😀

one of my favorites from a cartoon I can’t remember the name of was when the professor said something something Urectum and fry said you mean uranus?the professor said no-they had to change the name of the planet because they got tired of all the butt jokes.

This is bullshit. I know people born in those times that act just like their sign and nothing like the purported newly corresponding signs; which apparently have little to do with astrology since astrology is mainly based on planetary influences, instead of stellar