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I've got a couple of beers, nothing special but it's getting late and I'm tired anyway.

I'm in the kind of mood where I'm missing having REAL friends. The kind of guys you spend everyday with in high school and know they're genuinely your friend.... As they say, as you get older your heart gets colder...

I feel kind of bad for saying that, my friends aren't that bad but they're fucked up like I am. High school was easier because nobody had mental health problems. One of my friends is currently in Hospital which he's needed to go to for a long time.... Hopefully when he gets out he'll be much better. It was difficult talking to him just before he went in, he would rant on and on about stuff that made no sense and it was not only irritating but incredibly sad.

I'm about to go to the shop to buy beer. It's nearly 1pm so that'll do... Hopefully it'll last the day, if not, well, it's my own stupid fault for drinking so early.

They say sleepessness is as bad as reaching the legal limit of alchohol...what about when you do both? Gonna take an aspirin and a 5 hr energy and lay down under the shower and see if that prepares me for my 12 he work day

Iíve put down nearly a fifth of Swedish vodka today. Got three beers (7% IPAs) in the fridge waiting on me when the vodka runs out. Not looking forward to the hangover and subsequent visit to my parentís house tomorrow evening. (Theyíre lame, and they donít drink at all...)

I am drunk ..I hate to think of the thought of off work; because, work is my life. But I have got 2 weeks off work coming up. I do much better when regretting life than I do regretting work. Here we go, though. Which is better: to regret work or to regret life?

I woke up at 4am and drank a coffee like a retard and then changed my mind and wanted to go back to bed... So I've just drank some beer.

Also, I was stuck reminiscing about the past. My old friend from high school is around at the moment and this always happens when I see him. I feel kinda upset to be honest, wondering how everything got completely fucked. He talks about relationships and normal life things and all I've got to talk about is drugs and drink. It's funny, because to a lot of people that's exciting but I'm bored sick of it all (literally sick).

I need a life. I haven't had a girlfriend in 9 years... I hate mentioning/thinking of her because it makes me more sad thinking about the fact that I haven't had another relationship for so long. I'm really not bothered about sex, big deal, if I was bothered I'd sleep with one of the prostitutes that call round for my neighbor. But sending time with a chick and knowing they like/love you is completely different.

Doesn't really help matters that after generally not looking after myself for so long I look like Gollum. Don't even know where to start if I wanted to fix up my life.

It starts with you, man...stop drinking and doing drugs, go to the gymn or work out. Get a job if you havent. Commit to doing things that make you like yourself. Find a socail outing....
I love to drink but would not let it get in the way of living life and if I quit it now, I don't think I would look back and wish I did more..I hope all goes well.