The Surprising Food and Booze Habits of Famous Authors

Get this: some of the greatest authors of the modern era love(d) food and booze just as much as you and I. Agatha Christie, creator of the Poirot and Miss Marple mysteries, once admitted, “When engaged in eating, the brain should be the servant of the stomach.” And as such, generations of brilliant writers have sacrificed their intellect for their seemingly silly eating and drinking habits.

Do you feel guilty over that ice-cream sundae you housed last night after getting drunk off of three martinis? Well, author Stephen King eats a piece of cheesecake every single day before he sits down to write, and Truman Capote was an incurable (and sassy) lush.

Creative minds thrive on inspiration and new ideas, but many authors get stuck in the same eating and boozing rut. Here, we take a look at some of the zaniest habits of successful writers, from Kurt Vonnegut to Maya Angelou.

Read about the strangest eating and drinking habits of famous writers, and find out how you can follow in their footsteps.

Honoré de Balzac

The routine: The French author kept to a military schedule: dinner at 6pm, bed, up to write at 1am. After a nap around 8am, de Balzac would begin writing again. He slammed back cup after cup of black coffee. He guzzled up to 50 cups a day. Rumor has it that Balzac began eating straight coffee grounds for his buzz.
A quote: "Ideas quick-march into motion like battalions of a grand army to its legendary fighting ground, and the battle rages. Memories charge in, bright flags on high; the cavalry of metaphor deploys with a magnificent gallop; the artillery of logic rushes up with clattering wagons and cartridges; on imagination's orders, sharpshooters sight and fire; forms and shapes and characters rear up; the paper is spread with ink—for the nightly labor begins and ends with torrents of this black water, as a battle opens and concludes with black powder."
What you should take from this: The next time someone gives you shit about your three cups of coffee, just tell them about your friend Honoré.
Next steps: Order a Venti coffee from Starbucks and say merci when the barista hands it over. Pledge to switch to tea tomorrow.

Stephen King

The routine: In July, the master of horror revealed his weakness: dessert. In an interview with Bon Appétit, King stated that sweets are his brain food, so he eats a piece of cheesecake every day before sitting down to write.
A quote: "I have a son who swears by crème brûlée and always eats it before he writes. For me, it’s cheesecake. I also love baking bread. It makes the house smell wonderful."
What you should take from this: All work and no cheesecake makes Stephen a dull boy.
Next steps: Get mood music, read the gritty pulp novel Joyland, and treat yourself to sweet, creamy cheesecake perfection.

Maya Angelou

The routine: While writing, Angelou leaves her house around 6:30am every morning. She checks into a hotel room to write. Her only company is a Bible, a deck of cards, and, at one point, a bottle of sherry (Angelou dropped the booze several years ago). The woman won the Presidential Medal of Freedom, so we'd say whatever she's doing is working for her.
A quote: "I might have [sherry] at six-fifteen a.m. just as soon as I get in, but usually it’s about eleven o’clock when I’ll have a glass of sherry..."
What you should take from this: Sherry isn't for cheap drunks, it's for distinguished writers.
Next steps: Lay in bed with I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, a bottle of sherry, and all your feelings.

Kurt Vonnegut

The routine: Vonnegut liked to pour himself a glass of scotch and water every day at precisely 5:30pm.
A quote: "I numb my twanging intellect with several belts of Scotch and water ($5.00/fifth at the State Liquor store, the only liquor store in town. There are loads of bars, though.), cook supper, read and listen to jazz (lots of good music on the radio here), slip off to sleep at ten."
What you should take from this: Buy the cheap booze.
Next steps: Cozy up with Cat's Cradle and a bottle of Cutty.

Truman Capote

The routine: History has made Capote into a sort of legendary diva. The writer of classics like Breakfast at Tiffany's and In Cold Bloodrefused to write using a typewriter. Instead, he preferred to compose with a cigar in one hand and a beverage in the other. Capote was the original Beyoncé.
A quote: "I can’t think unless I’m lying down, either in bed or stretched on a couch and with a cigarette and coffee handy. I’ve got to be puffing and sipping. As the afternoon wears on, I shift from coffee to mint tea to sherry to martinis."
What you should take from this: Lounging can be classy. Throw shade at anyone who thinks otherwise.
Next steps: Read Music for Chameleons in bed with a box of Cronuts, coffee, and sherry.

Agatha Christie

The routine: The queen of murder mystery liked to kick back, relax, and plot a few imaginary deaths. She loved to write after soaking in a Victorian-style bathtub while chowing on apples. But Christie quit baths cold turkey when they no longer met her standards.
A quote: "Nowadays they don’t build baths like that. I’ve rather given up the practice."
What you should take from this: Baths are not for the faint of heart. Grab a sturdy tome and settle in for a soak.
Next steps: Buy They Came to Baghdad, a pine-scented muscle-soothing bath bomb, and a Red Delicious. Run yourself a bath and chill the f*** out.

Daniel Handler (pen name: Lemony Snicket)

The routine: Handler keeps his desk a health food-only zone. His workspace is minimalist—the only decoration is a picture window.
A quote: "I write longhand on legal pads, about half at home and half in cafés. I drink a lot of water and eat a lot of raw carrots."
What you should take from this: There is a reason that the Series of Events was so unfortunate.
Next steps: Pick up a copy of The Dark and a juice cleanse.

Joyce Carol Oates

The routine: According to an interview in The Paris Review, Oates refuses to touch a bite of her breakfast until after writing for the day is done. On days where Oates' writing goes well, she tends to forget breakfast all together.
A quote: "Sometimes the writing goes so smoothly that I don't take a break for many hours—and consequently have breakfast at two or three in the afternoon on good days."
What you should take from this: If you eat pizza around 1am, you won't even feel the biting hunger the next morning. Right?
Next steps: Make a list of two things you have to do before breakfast. Make them easy, like showering and brushing teeth. Then eat your breakfast, feeling like the Joyce Carol Oates of your own life: slightly off-putting and prolific.

Hunter S. Thompson

The routine: Thompson's biographer reports that the journalist kept a fairly routine schedule. It usually revolved around cocaine and food. She documents about nine lines of coke and five drinks each day, not to mention cigarettes and weed. See Thompson's full schedule here on Mental Floss.A quote: "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
What you should take from this: Wild out with the editorial staff at VICE, but be prepared for the hangover the next day.
Next steps: Pick up a copy of Fear and Loathing at Rolling Stone: The Essential Writing of Hunter S. Thompson. Finally work up the courage to chat with that guy who lives a floor below you and might deal drugs.

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