Thursday, March 27, 2008

Ack! Wyldth1ng has inflicted the Middle Name Meme on me, even though I have already done it!(I thought that I would have developed a natural immunity to this meme or something.) The rules are as follows:

1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name).3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person (or blogger of another species) for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged.)

I submit the following:

C is for Cantankerous, one of my many virtues.H is for Hijinks, as in madcap hilarity,O is for Orangutan, the noblest of beasts.C is for Cemetery, where the dead people live.O is for Obstinate, my favorite flavor.L is for Laocoon, who doesn't like snakes.A is for Adder, who subtracts from the living.T is for Trichinosis, the other white white meat.E is for Evangelist, whose own salvation depends on your damnation.C is for Curse, a gift from my shaman.A is for Achievement, the first step towards regret.K is for Kindness, which ends with someone's hand being bitten.E is for Eulogy, the punch line of medical practitioners.

Might I suggest that you do not use your actual middle name or mother's maiden name but instead make up an imaginary one, because either piece of information can be used as yet another way for identity thieves, hackers, flim-flamners, scam artists and stalkers to glean further information about you. (My apologies to all of my Nigerian spammer readers.)

Dr. Zira, I must caution you. Experimental brain surgery on these creatures is one thing, and I'm all in favor of it. But to suggest that we can learn anything about the simian nature from a study of man is sheer nonsense. Man is a menace, a walking pestilence. He eats up his food supply in the forest, then migrates to our green belts and ravages our crops. The sooner he is exterminated, the better. It's a question of simian survival.