It’s strange the things from law school that you remember, and the things you don’t. The morning after the Halloween party (dubbed the Fall Ball, because it never fell on Halloween) we had torts. I can’t even remember what day of the week it was. My best guess is Friday, since Thursday is a fairly common night for drinking and rabble rousing. But, it could have also been Monday.

I don’t even remember what the lecture for that torts class was. The only reason I remember having a torts class that day is because a student two rows in front of me vomited in class.

He didn’t even try to get out of the room. He just sat in his seat, and emptied the contents of his stomach onto the laptop and text book of the kid sitting next to him. If it had been any other student, I might not have remembered who it was, just as I don’t remember the victim in the incident. But, our classroom vomiter always had this sickly paleness about him. The way he looked, it’s amazing he ever made it through any class without blowing chunks.

11 Responses to “Cardozo’s Lamp”

The full article shows why I cannot stand most male law students who were only interested in me for my beauty and my body, which was (and still is) very trim.

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” And by “pre-gaming” I mean choking on a beer when the hot girl walked in wearing just chaps, a cowboy hat, and a tiny bikini. The Fall Ball was of course a costume party, and I guess her costume was “Daddy Issues.””"

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It should not come as a surprize to you men that I do NOT find this to be an atractive characteristic of male law students, and that is why I was attracted to ALAN.

ALAN was an ACCOUNTANT, but as it turns out, he also now self-medecates on alchohol. He turned out to be another LOSER, and my DAD counselled me to stop dating him.

While I can NOT agree to a vow of Chastety, I want to go on RECORD as not agreeing to date any MAN who merely wants to sleep with me. I deserve BETTER.

Pig: Why are you ignoring this blog and wasting time on that other one that has only a few comments?

BL1y: If I was capable of focusing on things that matter versus what I want, I’d be in Big law making a massive salary and not drawing down my trust fund principal.

Pig: Who is more attractive, ellen or Alma?

BL1Y: Alma belive it or not, but she is the weirder one. Imagine a woman who thinks you owe her a house for one sex act, and won’t stop talking all night about creepy guys who allegedly hit on her: that’s Alma. She does not vomit in bed though. And she could use a little tan. Pale white she is.

Pig: is she a lawyer? I mean she sounds like a moron.

BL1Y: Alma is not a lawyer–I mean she is not “Not a Lawyer,” but she is not a lawyer either. She dropped out of law school, went back, dropped again and has convinced herself that she is one.

Pig: We made it to 100 comments on the last one, but are feeling sorely neglected–tidbits from another blog–cud as it were–is not really the way to reward our steadfast loyalty.

BL1Y: who the fk are you? Some commentator on MY blog?! I am BL1Y! And don’t you furget it. JP has better manners than you.

Pig: But he’s always “nuzzling” the women and undercutting the rest of us. Like the “nice guy” at parties that offers to help our wasted dates home.

BL1y: are you about done?

Pig: well are you ever going to take my idea and go sit at a bar, chat up some blonde lawyer hottie and spread some good gossip here about big law firms? “Terror in Tuscaloosa”? “Barely legal in Birmingham?”

BL1Y: No. I like my blog the way it is now. You get to talk to Not A Lawyer don’t you?

Bill: I have a weakness for lawyers and CPA’s that are “professional hot,” about 2% of the profession. A profesisonal is generally in the category i am looking for: no excessive piercings, tats, no serious drug use, raised well, dresses well, has a job that prevents her from spending money all day, and has no menacing ex boyfriend.

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