Jerry West Watches the Lakers

October 24, 2018

At the Lakers third game this season, against the Spurs, I turned in my courtside seat, pulled out my mini-binoculars and spotted Jerry West standing in a luxury box. I hustled upstairs, twice used a counterfeit pass to trick security guards, and reached the hallowed door on which I knocked. A starlet opened up, and I said, “Thanks, sweetheart” as I breezed by.

George Thomas Clark – Jerry, how you doin’?

Jerry West – Have we met?

GTC – Only telepathically during the sixties when I often watched you guys get beat by Bill Russell and the Celtics.

JW – Wilt and I won thirty-three straight games and a title in nineteen seventy-two. Then, as general manager, I masterminded several world champions. What’s on your resume?

GTC – I played pretty well against division two college players in pickup games. The start of my prime coincided with the end of yours. I wish we could’ve gone one on one.

JW – Who the hell are you?

GTC – Here’s my card.

JW – Okay, GeorgeThomasClark.com, what do you want?

GTC – I’d like to talk about the Lakers.

JW – I really can’t answer any questions. I advise the Clippers.

GTC – I don’t have any questions, just proclamations. Looks like the Lakers are again having problems on defense. Down by sixteen points after giving up forty in the first quarter tonight, and one-twenty-eight and one-twenty-four their first two games.

JW – Fans want scoring. They don’t pay to see a wrestling match. You can’t manhandle people like when I played.

GTC – I see you playing point guard in today’s game.

JW – Are you implying that at almost six-four, with long arms, I’d be too small for shooting guard?

GTC – You’d be better out front where, instead of a size disadvantage, you’d often be as tall or taller than those guarding you. I think you’d average about twenty points and ten assists a game.”

JW – At least twenty.

GTC – I know it’s early and the Lakers have a lot of new players who need to learn how to play together. But I get the feeling they’re outgunned. Not by a lot but by enough.

JW – They’re not the Showtime Lakers or the Warriors of today. They’ll need more stars for that.

GTC – Glad LeBron’s heating up after only scoring four in the first half. There he goes, basket, layup, three-pointer, another basket, nine quick points, and the Lakers only trail by three after the third quarter.