99 ways to die

If there’s one aspect of modern political discourse your Wonkette editor finds unbearably tedious, it’s “Remember how our side did X and you reacted with outrage, but now YOUR side did X and WHERE’S THE OUTRAGE,” because the only thing duller than arguing about tax policy or whatever is meta-arguing about arguing. That having been said, remember when the Dixie Chicks said “we’re ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas” at a concert in London and people were all like “HOW DARE YOU ATTACK OUR PRESIDENT IN FRONT OF THE FOREIGNERS???” Well, um, Dave Mustaine, frontman for Megadeth, told a crowd in Singapore that Barack Obama staged the shootings in Aurora and Wisconsin as part of his plan to take away our guns, and also impose Nazi rule! This an important Lapse In Civility, right? Or maybe it’s just hilarious?

Your editor has vague memories from college that Megadeth was the “thinking person’s metal band” because it put out albums called things like Peace Sells … But Who’s Buying that seemed to indicate that there was some kind of semi-coherent political philosophy behind them, and also because Dave Mustaine reported for MTV from the 1992 Democratic National Convention, an honor only given to the music scene’s intellectual heavyweights. And yet, based on Mustaine’s between-song patter to some Singaporeans last week, maybe he is not so smart … or maybe he’s too smart, in that he knows too much about the coming Nobama coup:

Back in my country, my president is trying to pass a gun ban, so he’s staging all of these murders. Like the Fast And Furious thing down at the border and Aurora, Colorado, all the people that were killed there and now the beautiful people at the Sikh temple. I don’t know where I’m gonna live if America keeps going the way it’s going because it looks like it’s turning into Nazi America.

Here, you can watch the whole video at TMZ, and see that he hilariously ends his rambling about where he’s going to flee to by suggesting, much to the crowd’s delight, that maybe he’d escape Barack Hussein Hitler by settling in Singapore, which is of course a tightly controlled police state with extremely restrictive gun laws. But hey, whatever you gotta do to get the audience fired up, we guess!

Dave Mustaine’s Facebook page features praise for Glenn Beck and Alex Jones, so probably this shouldn’t be super-surprising. Also, back in the ’80s he started a riot at a concert in Northern Ireland because he inadvertently praised the IRA, so you might say he’s not really the most sophisticated guy politically. Enjoy being caned in Singapore, Dave! [TMZ]

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons.
Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

I wish Obama would try to pass a gun ban; but no, he hasn't done anything on gun control, so why he would stage attacks to support a policy that does not exist is beyond me.

PsycWench

Yeah, remember how gun sales shot up after he was elected because he was going to somehow unilaterally ban all guns once he took office? Do these people ever stop and think about what POTUS really can and can't do?

You could ask certain liberals the same question. No, I haven't forgotten!!

BerkeleyBear

NEVER FORGET THE TERRORS OF THE PROFESSIONAL LEFT! AND THE DEMONIC BUTTPLUGS OF THE CENTRIST BLUE DOGS!

I only wish that was snark. Or that I didn't wish I could show people an alternative timeline where Obama hadn't won in 2008 just so everyone could see how fucked we'd all be and shut the fuck up about his perceived failures.

SorosBot

OBAMA IS JUST LIKE ROMNEY BECAUSE HE DIDN"T USE HIS MAGIC POWER TO MAKE CONGRESS PASS FULL SINGLE-PAYER HEALTH CARE!

Magic Mormon underwear is the only protection against Demonic buttplugs.

BerkeleyBear

Just sorta fits Nelson and Bayh, screwing everyone in the ass for no good reason.

prommie

Ahem. Nader got close to 50,000 votes in Florida in 2000. Nader can be thanked for Bush and trillions in war debt and hundreds of thousands killed and my house losing $200,000 in value and every fucking damned thing ever for the last 12 years. nader, nader, nader, and the Paultards of the left, the naderites. And youth is no excuse, you fucks, you know who you are.

chicken_thief

It doesn't matter that Obama loosened gun laws, they know deep in their hearts that him and Holder really want to take their guns away. Because Muzlin!

metamarcisf

Mustaine's career plateau was getting kicked out of Metallica for being a drug-addled dick.

Wasn't that kid who made headlines for getting the caning years ago, arrested and sentenced thus for merely chewing gum in an undesignated area or something?
Oh,… this Mustaine guy should've been toast the moment he entered Singapore.

I was just back from Nepal, which by contrast is tolerant of much Western crassitude for "good business"/ "customer is always right" sake — since tourism was key for thriving or just getting by. But even as I was negotiating the nuances (how not to insult your host; haggling at the market etc) I returned home to these headlines about singapore & realized I still had a lot left to learn about intercultural graces. It was my first overseas experience so at 25 I was just getting started (on understanding it all, that is. Mostly armchair-overeseas traveler since then).

SorosBot

Wait, how would gun control mean "it’s turning into Nazi America"? The Nazis encouraged people to own guns.

el_donaldo

Not according to gun-nut revisionist history. Seriously. They have a unified-field theory of totalitarianism that says it's basically restrictions on gun ownership, and so if the Nazis were totalitarian, ipso facto they restricted gun ownership. Q.E.D.

Ruhe

In that "standard model" of totalitarianism does the higgs boson come in both solid and hollow point flavors?

Sorry, but I won't. I suggest that you start an online petition "Ask ChillBill to take his mean, divisive comments out of Wonkette!"

bumfug

Considering that there aren't 12 people in North America who give a fuck if Megadeth ever plays another note, why is there always so much publicity about what this mutt says?

Fun Fact: Megadeth stole their name from a fake band in National Lampoon's Lemmings but spelled it wrong.

MosesInvests

I was about to mention that, but you beat me to it. Great album, BTW. The parody of John Denver was classic ("Oh, Colorado's calling me {HEY, YOU!}").

bumfug

The album was only the second half of the show – I saw it five times at the Village Gate and it had new stuff added every time. The first half was topical sketches and was hilarious.
Female reporter interviewing John Belushi as the last POW off the helicopter, the man who'd been in the Hanoi Hilton longer than any other man: "What would you like to say to the American people?"
Belushi, grabbing the back of her head and shoving her face in his crotch: "EAT IT!!! EAT IT NOW!!!!"

Rotundo_

I only caught a bit of it on tape, of all things, in the student union back in college many many many years ago, I would kill for video of it now, I can't even fathom how funny they must have been live. Congratulations on witnessing some great comedic talent. (Not just Belushi and Chase, but Alice Playten and all of them…)

Also, if PresO were gonna start having people shot, I would think he would start with the really important people, the truth-speakers, the old ass – no talent – playing in Singapore for JimBeam money – one hit wonders who were excommunicated from their uber-successful metal bands for being suckass losers. Like Dave.

In the interest of fairness, despite banishing Dave, Metallica still finds itself full of "suckass losers". Thank god Cliff Burton did not survive to see what became of that sorry crap.

KeepFnThatChicken

Looking at the photo, it's about fucking time we learned where Donald gets his hair.

Generation[redacted]

The Dixie Chicks, for their sins, did not get any of their songs played on the radio.

Dave Mustaine has been receiving the same punishment since 1985.

fartknocker

Our local independent rad-did-eo station in Austin loved playing the Dixie Chicks during that period. Emily Robison at the time was married to Charlie Robison, and both are highly respected musicians. I won't bother anyone with the divorce or new marriage stuff.

Tundra Grifter

If I remember "Shut Up and Sing" correctly, that whole brouhaha worked out very well for them.

DaSandman

This guy is just one step from an overdose and has been all his life. The best thing that came out of his mouth is vomit and that happens all the live long day.

The other night an old high school friend was posting pics from a concert she went to in Virginia Beach – Def Leppard with Poison and Lita Ford. And I thought that sounded pathetic.

prommie

Kiss me deadly!

Generation[redacted]

Megadeth's latest single, "Quantitative Easing Up Yer Ass" is sure to be a hit.

EatsBabyDingos

Does he close with "Mustaine Sully" or "Mustaine Silly"?

Baconzgood

Thank God for grung putting him out of work.

An_Outhouse

Singapore is one step above playing a puppet theater. Ask Ted Nugent.

Angry_Marmot

Hello, Johor!!!

Troglodeity

This is OUTRAGEOUS! Let's collect all the CDs Megadeth has sold over the last ten years and burn them all at once!

I've got a 22-inch Weber Kettle; that should have plenty of room to spare.

Steverino247

No, you microwave CD's, dude.

rickmaci

Never know what shit is coming out of Mustyanus.

Tundra Grifter

Druggedout rock and roller (or, at least, a guy who thinks he is one) says some crazy shit.

Not exactly news in my world.

prommie

People think meta started with derrida, or foucalt, or whoever the fuck all, but in reality, it started with US political reporting, which, for most of a century, has been what they call "horserace" reporting, and thats just another word for "meta." Reporting on which campaign has been succesful in influencing the reporting makes my head hurt. My newest punk band will be called "Meta is Murder."

But, watching you, the narrating-est narrator of all talk about how the media talks about what the politicians are doing to make them talk about them is just about the most meta thing I have encountered all day. And I like you, so instead of it making my head hurt it makes me laugh. Do it again! Do it again!

Singapore, huh? So the audience is like: "What did he say?" and "Beats the fuck outta me, I don't speak English!"

sullivanst

They probably spoke English pretty well, but still had no idea what the fuck he's talking about, because contrary to what most Americans believe, especially ones like Dave Mustaine, the rest of the world does not obsess constantly about what's happening in America. They have their own countries to worry about.

Also, even Dave Mustaine has no idea idea what Dave Mustaine is talking about.

Tundra Grifter

"Dave?"

"Dave's not here."

"Sweet."

SorosBot

OK, people keep making this reference. What the fuck does this refer to?

Generation[redacted]

No, it's me, Dave. Open the door, I got the stuff. I think the cops are following me!

They have a special place in my heart 'cause they were the first performance I took my hawt 19-yo gf to in '71 while back in school on the GI Bill. Also we were stoned.

prommie

The real story here is that this dude is obviously a victim of the disinformation campaign that seems to be spearheaded by that shoe-fetishist scumbag shitweasel Dick Morris, who is a constant presence on right-wing terror radio pounding some insane theory that Obama is gonna ban guns by signing on to a UN anti-gun treaty and that this will be a "back door repeal of the second amendment," on the grounds that treaties do take precedence over the Constitution. All based on a provision in the UN treaty that signatory nations must take steps to make gun transactions traceable. I have heard him give the whole spiel, on Hannity, its just vile and disgusting false nonsense, but the gun fetishists, you know, the dude's with the tiny dicks, they eat that shit up.

GeorgiaBurning

Obama, UN, gun sales regulations? Sounds like a trifecta win for the recreational firearms industry with any right-wing blogger

sullivanst

It's a hydra of disinformation. I wasn't even aware of Dick Morris spreading this absurd nonsense, but I knew about Glenn Beck, Alex Jones and Darrell Issa's dissemination.

prommie

All sucking at the money-dripping cock of karl rove's PAC, I am sure.

MadBrahms

Jesus, you need to send that suggestion to GWAR, quick.

emmelemm

"back door"

Huh huh. Huh huh.

chicken_thief

"…the beautiful people at the Sikh temple"

In any context other than "Obummer is going to steal my guns!!!" I doubt that Mustaine would refer to the Sikh's as "beautiful".

CommieLibunatic

I wonder if "Occam's Razor" is taken as a metal band name yet. I'd thrash and scream-sing about how sometimes a random mass shooting is just a random mass shooting.

sullivanst

Maybe throw in something about how maybe, just maybe, if a President has, over the course of almost a full term, never once proposed specific new gun regulation, and has in fact on at least two occasions signed into law relaxations of gun regulation, maybe this is a sign that he is not coming for your guns.

Back in the dot com era I toyed with getting the domain name allthegoodnamesweretaken.com

Generation[redacted]

Just goes to show, when Alice Cooper takes you backstage to warn you about your excessive drug use, you know something is seriously wrong.

LetUsBray

Kind of like when Keith Richards said Amy Winehouse needed to get her shit together and fly right. Turned out he knew what he was talking about.

Blunderthing

Mustaine Stupid, think you better slow your Mustaine down….

anniegetyerfun

Can I express some delight at TMZ as a source?

lunchbox360

I thought Singapore did not allow trash in public places.

Estproph

That's really a picture of him? He looks like he works at Subway.

Steverino247

Needs moar prison tats.

Barrelhse

It's what you'd expect from someone who can't even play music

JustPixelz

"…it looks like it’s turning into Nazi America…"

</snark>
I despise the way right-wingers (or anyone) throws Hitler and the Nazis into our political discourse. The real Nazis started World War II which killed 50-60 million people — a thousand deaths an hour for six years. The real Nazis rounded up their political, religious, ethnic and other enemies (Communists, Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals) and killed them. By the hundreds, the thousands and the millions. That was real life mega-death. And, heads up Mustaine, they banned music they didn't like.

To equate the United States of America to Hitler's Germany is an outrageous insult to the soldiers and sailors who died in WWII. Fuck you Mustaine.

lulzmonger

But … but what would the Batshit Right possibly have to gain by trivializing Hitler????

Also, Obama likes beer … you know who ELSE liked beer?

HistoriCat

Homer Simpson?
Cindy McCain?
Me!

sewollef

Round of applause JP.

As the son of a WWII veteran [and hero] who's armoured battalion liberated Bergen-Belsen death camp*, this ranks as the fucking comment of the day.

[OT sidebar]; *My dad's comrades promptly rounded up the remaining SS guards and started shooting them in the head in anger. Their officers told them to stop.

Naked_Bunny

Get this man a column at the Washington Post, stat!

prommie

Anyone watch that Anvil documentary?

lulzmonger

Give it up, Dave … FOX still won't put you on the air until AFTER you cut the grease-mop.

Led Zeppelin was a great band because they knew their roots. Your Megadeths and what not are what happens when you take all the "race music" out of rock'n'roll. After another round of devolution, all that's left is the "white power music scene."

Toomush_Infer

Oh, settle down people – he's just been reading the NRA Handbook on How to Stay Relevant Despite Reality and Garner Big Bucks…. although in his case, the big bucks aren't so relevant….

"What my conservative honeybunch was really saying is that Obama, together with liberal Democrats and liberal Republicans, has actually staged most huge domestic terrorist and gun-shooting incidents in the United States for the last 15 years. Many of these incidents didn't really happen, and they were all staged by a clandestine group of actors and magicians within the CIA, FEMA, the Defense Department, the Homeland Security Department, the DIA, the FBI and NOAA. Also, we believe that Democrats were behind the Kennedy assassinations, and they also faked the landing on the moon in 1969."

thefrontpage

Asked for comment about Mustaine's remarks today, Yeti, Sasquatch, Bigfoot, E.T., Bat Boy, Lobster Man, Dracula and the Loch Ness Monster just sighed, rolled their eyes and shrugged their collective shoulders, according to an exclusive reaction article in The Weekly World News.

"Man, that guy–he's lost his grip on reality, big-time!" said Sasquatch, before heading back into the Oregon forest.

"I think he's an asshole," said Lobster Man, from his oceanfront home in Maine. "He's taking the spotlight away from real sideshow and freakshow people. I mean, we have to make a living, too."

Pat_Pending

Well that 'splains everything. It's ok if stupid people say it. Smart people (Natalie Maines), not so much. That's why the totalitarians always round up the college students and professors first.

Mr. Musty here need never worry, cuz he haz a dum.

rockyoumonkeys

Honestly, I'm still floored by this. I knew he was a born-again, and I was willing to overlook that. But I didn't realize he was this level of crazy.

It's why I desperately avoid learning about artists I like (authors, musicians, etc.), because I'd hate to find out they were insane douches.