The sense of belonging is one of our fundamental human needs. The American psychologist, Abraham Maslow, is widely known for creating his model of Hierarchy of Needs in which the 3rd level of the hierarchy is Belongingness & Love Needs (family, friends, relationships, affection and work groups).

Maslow's premise is that innate human needs must be fulfilled in order of the hierarchy (needs at the 3rd level can't be met until needs in the 2nd level have been met, and level 2 needs can't be met unless those at level 1 have been fulfilled).

That's good news for most leaders in our business world.

Level 1 (basic life needs such as Air, Food, Drink, Shelter, Warmth and Sleep) and Level 2 (Physical Safety, Protection, Stability and Order) tend to be met for the vast majority of our team members.

So that takes us to Level 3 - belonging.

If we look at the definitions above, this means that as a leader, part of your job is to ensure each and every staff member needs to feel / experience ...

that they are suitable and appropriate in your team

that they fit into the team naturally

that they are actually a part of something else, and not merely operating in isolation

Want some tips on how to do this?

Tell them regularly and informally they are doing a great job. Let them know their contribution is valued.

Build a culture of acceptance of differences in your team. Speak openly and frequently about the natural, yet differing gifts, that each member brings to the table that ultimately creates synergy and the best possible outcomes.

Ensure team members fully understand what piece of the puzzle they are and where they fit in the big picture. (If you've ever done a jigsaw puzzle, you know how frustrating it is to look at the almost completed picture that's missing one single piece.) Let your team know their piece is important and the team simply wouldn't be complete without them.

Why the theme of belonging this month?

On January 26th (Australia Day), my husband is becoming an Australian citizen. (Our son is plotting to have a bunch of his university mates there, all dressed up in Aussie gear, sporting red, white and blue face paint, carrying inflatable kangaroos and shouting "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie ... Oi, Oi, Oi! But that's another story ...)

Alan has lived here since 5 years of age, having migrated from the UK with his dad and brother. He's paid taxes and voted here all his adult life. Yet when he went to apply for a passport, he was told he wasn't a citizen. In a strange sort of way, this conveys a message of 'you don't really belong here - you're not none of us'. (Jesse and I joked about the possibility of Alan getting deported after all these years. Thankfully he passed the exam and the interview, so our family can remain in tact!)

Imagine one of your team asking to attend a meeting, join a particular project, requesting additional responsibility of some sort, applying for a promotion ...

Might a negative reply to any of these convey a message of not really and truly belonging? Might it leave them with the thought of 'what else do I need to do around here to be accepted?'

Naturally, there are going to be times when our staff receive a negative response to a request they make.

And that's all the more reason we need to ensure they've experienced plenty of belongingness in their working world to leave them feeling valued and secure.

Want more help with creating cohesion and belongingness in your team?

I'm here to help - give me a call and let's chat.

(I'd love to read your comments below ... on a scale of 10 (10 being tops!), what score would you give for the sense of belonging in your team? And what rating would your team members give?)

I recently attended a three-day women’s festival that I attended for the first time in 2016. It’s never the same the second, third or umpteenth time around is it? First of all, there’s that ‘first time newness’ that we can only get once. “Wow! Look at that!” “Goodness, that’s amazing!” And so on … because we are seeing things through fresh, first-time eyes.

In our subsequent visits, while we look for that same magic, but logically know it will be different than our beloved ‘first-time’. We then start to notice what’s not there that we liked the previous year(s), and lament “But I really liked that!”

So this year, I decided to focus instead on what was new, different and intriguing. And that’s how I came across The Release Tree.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the conquering of it. (I’ve seen this attributed to Dan Millman)

Courage is resistance to fear. (Thanks Mark Twain)

Courage is mastery of fear. (Mark Twain again)

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. (Kelly Clarkson made this line famous in her pop song)

In other words, grit your teeth and move on regardless. Tough it out. Toughen up.

A lot of people who know me say I’m one of the most tenacious, determined, “courageous” people they know. And I’ve always kind of liked this. I’m proud that I ‘hang in there’, dig deep and find my way through challenges.

My father (bless you, dad) had a saying that went something like this: “The real measure of a person’s character is how they handle adversity.” And I liked this too – for most of my life.

Whenever I was going through a tough time, I’d remember my dad’s words and think ‘keep going, Sandi – you’re developing character. People will admire you for the fact that you’ve made it through all this crap.’ And so I did keep going (though I’m not sure this really earned me brownie points in the admiration-from-other-people stakes).