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NSA Stalks America

“The NSA leadership built an intelligence data collection system that repeatedly deceived the American people. Time and time again the American people were told one thing in a public forum, while intelligence agencies did something else in private.” – Senator Ron Wyden (D – Oregon)

They know where we live, who we call, and who we travel with. They know who our friends are, have graphs mapping our social connections, and can predict where we will go based on where we have been. All of this and the NSA still doesn’t think it’s doing enough. In fact, instead of jumping through a number of unnecessary legal hoops, General Keith Alexander, director of the National Security Administration, thinks we should just collect everyone’s phone calls now and ask questions later.

To be honest, I’m not comfortable with that. I feel like the NSA’s record is a little spotty, what with employees spying on their exes and “2,776 domestic-soil violations” occurring in a single year. If the government is really serious about spying on us, I suggest they get someone who can do the job right. My first thought was to call up George Orwell. The guy obviously knows how to run a decent totalitarian government, considering he created two of literature’s most oppressive regimes (Oceania in 1984 and Manor Farm in Animal Farm). If anyone knows how to properly track and document the activities of an entire nation, he does.

Sadly, Mr. Orwell passed away in 1950, leaving us with only his stories as a guide. Fortunately, the NSA has done its homework.

First, General Alexander and his staff have done an impeccable job when it comes to war. In both 1984 and Animal Farm, the ruling class relies on violence and conflict to produce a perpetual state of fear. They use this fear to justify ruthless crackdowns on personal liberty, including, but not limited to, destroying freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and freedom of association, and portraying those who oppose the regime as “enemies of the state.”

On this point, I must commend the NSA. General Alexander and his cohorts have taken opportunism to a whole new level, using the War on Terror to convince the public that domestic spying is “in the nation’s best interest.” In this respect, they’ve done George Orwell proud. Just as the Party convinced the citizens of Oceania that the death of freedom was a prerequisite for safety, the NSA claims that watching us 24/7 “keeps America safe.”

The NSA, like Big Brother and Napolean, has also done an admirable job lying to the public. President Obama does what he can to help the cause: “If you look at the reports … all the stories that have been written, what you’re not reading about is the government actually abusing these programs and listening in on people’s phone calls or inappropriately reading people’s emails.”

We all know that’s not true, but you have to give the President props for trying. In attempting to deny what we all know to be true, Obama and the NSA are merely following in Big Brother’s footsteps. Truth? Who cares about truth. The truth is whatever they say it is. As O’Brien noted in 1984, “Yes, sometimes two plus two is four. But sometimes it’s five or even three. Sometimes it’s all of those at the same time.” There is no truth. Truth is opportunism disguised as fact.

On top of all this, the NSA has convinced the American public that what it’s doing isn’t a big deal. Senators like Diane Feinstein (D-CA) who vehemently defend the agency’s actions are re-elected in droves. When you look at it with an open mind, that’s pretty impressive. We live in America, purportedly the “freest” country in human history, and yet we overwhelmingly re-elect government officials who believe that constantly monitoring our lives plays an essential role in the defense of the nation. Big Brother would be proud.

Honestly, I couldn’t be happier. After years of stumbling around in the dark, the NSA is finally doing something right. It’s taken the spy agency 61 years but we can finally say that a totalitarian police state is on the way. General Alexander and his staff are following Orwell’s blueprint to the T, and I’m excited to see where they go next. Video cameras recording everything we do? Actively re-writing history? Thought police? The possibilities are endless.

Join me in supporting the NSA. Together, we can create a nation with no freedom, a nation built on safety, secrecy, fear, and oppression. America will be great once again. We will fear everyone, hate everything, and be completely miserable, but we will be safe. In the end, that’s what matters most. Life is living. Freedom is overrated. In fact, as Big Brother would say, “Freedom is Slavery.”