Friday, December 04, 2009

It seems like endless time has passed since the day I carried you home. Now you have become a mother yourself carrying a son into this world. How proud of you I am, but you never heard me say it. How beautiful you have become, but you never listened. Now you have run , run from what we tried to call a home into a vicious world, unprotected from the realities of life.

I have sunk into a depression since you left, a dark desolate hole. Deep where no one would be able to reach me. Closed off from the world I decided it would be better for me to remain aloof then to actually rejoice in the life you have given or the spirit of you spreading your wings.

It is now almost 2 months past and my heart still aches, I wish daily that you would come home. Yet part of me knows that you should not. It is "Your" time now not mine. Make your choices well dear daughter, live, love and laugh often. Bless the little boy you have and tell him constantly that you love him. He is a precious gift!

No matter who or what becomes of his father .. makes no difference to me. Your son Mally is a joy in my eyes as are you and I Love you both. Just listen when it is said and never forget the good things in life.

I woke up this morning and I had to write this to you, here for all to see. It is a formation of my love to you so you will always remember, and can always come back when you forget.

Now I lift my head from tear laden eyes and start a new day with hope. Hope that for myself it to will be a new life filled with joy and triumphs and love.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

So much has happened since I last wrote to you. Like time had warped and just a couple weeks passed we woke up. Joe, Jennifer, AJ and I took a 5 day cruise. It took us to Cayman Islands and Cozumel. I would say that for the over all we had a really great time. Hardest part of the trip was the drive up and back. This occured Oct 9-17th.

Angel went into labor around 4:16 am on the 22nd, or what was thought to be. The doctor put her on Morphine and planned on doing some tests in the morning. Well that did not happen as he had planned. She retched,broke her water and out came baby at 9:25 am. He was named Malakai Anthony weighing in at 7.4 pounds, 19 inches long.

I guess that would be everything all wrapped in a nutshell. I will be posting pictures for you to see as they are taken.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A pondering thought for you to chew on... It has been almost a year that we have lived in this house. Our fence, rotted from weather, was partially taken down. We had not decided when to put one up. Ron down from injuries, no income from Joe... you understand.. there just has not been extra cash to put up another fence. Our neighbors, bought 6 panels and we thought well that was nice of them to help out. Boy were we wrong! They dug out several holes off our posts, did not cement them in and started to hammer the fence up. It has one panel partially stained dark brown. Of course this is the first one that is closest to the street and facing our house. I went out and told the gentleman he would use out posts to put the fence up. He told me our posts were no good for them. Mind you , our posts are cemented in and are sturdy. Anyhow, Joe, Aj and Ron somehow managed to tear down what was left of our rotted fence that was covered with poison oak/ivy. Aj has been nursing a mild case of poison oak. My neighbors who are Mexican and do not like "white" people ripped all the fence they had surrounding the rest of their house down just to fence OUR line . This morning at 6 am we were awoken to pounding. Can you believe it 6 am!! I opened the door and said "must you!". They continued for an hour making sure we were all awake, then stopped. They have about 4 more panels to put up. I suspect they will wake us up again tomorrow to finish the job just to be ignorant. By the way, they have not cemented the posts and the fence is old and uneven. It looks awful. I will get pictures of it to show you.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Long gone but not forgotten, I have not really been here yet I have been. Does that make any sense? I spend a lot of time playing that game still " Mobsters " , I am rather good at it. It takes from the everyday stress and channels it in other directions. I have seen a couple doctors since I last wrote. I have ovarian dysfunction, am a high risk for breast cancer and have also been tested for cervical cancer. On top of that I need to have surgery for a damaged nerve in the groin area. This came from a drain tube that was inserted for 5 weeks when I had my tummy tuck in 06. Oh I am sooo looking forward to that. Still go through the everyday aches and pains and anxiety. I have been waiting for a call back for the past couple days from one doctor on a medication change. So ... this is what is happening.. Jen has been away for about 3 weeks. We are picking her up on Sunday, then she leaves again next week till the second week of Aug. ..Everyone else has been here doing the same ole stuff just a different day..I am off to tend to my 5 ft tomato plants now. Have a good night everyone!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

It has been a while since I have posted. I am sorry. There have been a few things going on with myself as always that have kept me away. For one I got caught up with a game, another has been a drastic medication change and of course summer.

Now as for the medication.... The pain doctor, he is the one who has been giving me injections every 2 weeks in the groin area for nerve damage. After several months he had decided to place me on 2 medications. I have had known reactions to 1 and the other way to make me sleep more. The combination with these and my other medications that I usually take gave me a "drunk" effect. I spent several days on the couch and when I did walk it was more of a stumble. No driving, cooking or anything else. Just the couch.

My Psych doctor put me on an anxiety medication and another for depression at the same time as the pain doctors medication trial. Bad timing on their part. Either way it didn't go over well. Nothing worked right and it was ALL stopped. So I am back to what I was on in the beginning. I feel better that way. I still have nerve pain and anxiety but they are maintained by pain medication and a anxiety pill. OK so on we move.

As for summer, the younger kids have been busy with their own friends, hanging out, skateboarding.. helping out around here... We have also been fishing on nice days A LOT. Catching hardly anything to speak of mind you. But I do have a nice tan! Ron splurged and we have Six Flags season tickets and we have gone once already. Yep they are costly, not the tickets but the park itself. Sheesh.

Now I have a couple of pictures to share.. These are of my tomato garden. It had started off small and sort of BLEW UP. I mean really look at it. We planted only less then 2 months ago and my plants are almost as tall as I am. I also have loads of tomato's already growing. Somewhere in the mass's there are also peppers growing. Yes I am proud of my babies. I really can not wait till it is time to pick and eat some of what I grew. And no, I don't let anyone here at home tinker with my plants. It is my Green thumb that has created this magical mass. Mine and Gods hands. Aren't they amazing?

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I have disappeared, yep that's right! For several reasons I have sort of taken a sabbatical from my own reality. With my stress levels hitting way off the charts and medication malfunctions who could blame me. So I put down the crochet hooks and closed up the sewing machine again. I have fallin into what is known as MYSPACE HELL. There is a game there that I was introduced to called "Mobsters" I guess you could say it is interesting, no it is addictive. I have been entranced by it and so, that is where you will find me. myspace.com/flametideFeel free to drop in but be warned it is one of those games that you will get hooked on. I did at least.... for now

Monday, May 25, 2009

It has come to my attention that the original scrubbies I had made did not work so well in the kitchen. So I made a new batch bigger and thicker. Here is what I have now. It is 2 sided. One side is cotton and the other is nylon for pots.

I am on a baby kick these days. With my daughter pregnant, I have been working away at different items. She is having a boy, but that doesn't keep me from making all these cute little items. Here are a few of my latest creations.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Some of you have asked who I am, the lady behind the words. Have I changed much over the years. Yes actually I have, mentally and physically. These pictures are the most recent, taken in March while on my cruise. I would say they are the best as I was the most relaxed.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Another day has come to a close and for the most part it has been a quiet one. I did some wash since the sun was shinning today. Weather man says that we are going to get rain for the next couple of days. Ran Angel on a couple errand with the Scooter. Gas prices rose to 2.39 a gallon. Right now I am searching for a crochet pattern. It is for a baby dress with matching booties. I have not found as of yet. Also watching the Travel channel and then off to bed to do it all again tomorrow. I mailed out a few goodies today and a surprise to someone special. I can't wait till the mailman delivers it all. I look forward to the responses.There are a few new patterns posted on the blog today for you all to enjoy. As I stumble on those that strike my fancy, I shall post those too.In the mean time, have a great night

Monday, May 11, 2009

Once again it seems that while mulling over another issue in life, I have come to notice?, no not notice. I have known already that I have been depressed for a while. It just well lately has been on the surface. So much has been happening around me that I have been sucked into it. I didn't want my 18 yr old pregnant daughter to move out. Now she wants to move to another state entirely ( this makes me very sad because I know I will never see her again). I didn't ask to have our income limited due to Ron being injured at work and him having to have 2 surgeries that had him laid up till mid June. I didn't ask for Joe's son to constantly remind us how he dislikes helping out around the house knowing that his father can not support him and we are trying the best we can to do so.(He is not even kin). It is not entirely my fault that Joe and I are talking about going our seprate ways. It is not my fault that Joe is diabetic. It is not my fault that Joe has no income either. Sometimes I just feel like everything I do is nothing. I can create something from a piece of string and it matters not. I can sew a little and that matters not. My house is always clean, that matters not. If I can not fix everyone else's issues then I am a failure.

I stop here every day and see all the wonderful places from the people who come and read my blog. I am amazed by the traffic I get. I figure this blog is getting to depressing for most. I would think so. If only I had something good to report out. The sun is shining this morning. Yes that is a good thing. My cat is watching the bird teasing him by the window. It is about 9 am and it is quiet with the exception of the weather channel. I do have something else to add. I never knew that if you wanted to have a friend that you had to have a good credit report. Or at least maybe a Swiss bank account. Maybe a Bently or something in those lines. I have only people I talk to online and one friend localy that I talk to. He doesn't require a credit report. It would have been nice to have a "girlfriend".. I guess I am hurt. No I am very hurt, all I can say is you shouldn't listen to him. Money doesn't make the person. Life does and I miss you !I can't blog anymore right now......

Thursday, May 07, 2009

With to much time on my hands, thanks to not feeling well. I have something else to offer everyone. Personally I would love people from around the world to join in and sign up for these. They are kitchen scrubbers made from nylon and cotton. Lightweight and machine washable. Once you get one, let me know how they work, do they hold up well and for how long. I could use some feedback on these. So who wants to test them out for me?

Drop me a comment and please leave me your email address so I can write you for your personal address later on. This will be the only way I can contact you. I really do look forward to hearing from you.

Remeber I need your email address in the comment box or I can not contact you. This is very important all. Thanks bunches

Come on everyone. Let's get the Grocery Bag Raffle going!! These are wonderful and can hold anything you would like to carry. So leave a comment with your email address and hope you win one!!You know at the same time we are doing something good for our mother Earth. It will be one less plastic bag that will be used.I look forward to hearing from you !!!

Sunday, May 03, 2009

I have been promising to get these bags up on my Blog now for a while and here they are! I have 6 so far to raffle . I will be taking comments from you all for the month of May and then randomly choose 6 people to send the bags off to. Please make sure when you post a comment that you leave me an email address so that if you win I can email you . I will not be able to notify you otherwise. Remember email info in your comment so that I can email the winner. This is very important all. Thank you all for stopping in. Lets do our part to save our planet, one grocery bag at a time! By The Way, I would like to thank the Green Bag Lady for the great pattern she created. If it wasn't for her I would not be able to make these bags for you .

Adrift in sleep this morning, it was broken by the thrashing of Joe's body. His sugar I tested was 24. This is very low and he is a diabetic. His body was covered with a cold sweat, barely conscious he was convulsing. This caused me to wake up and grab his glucose meter to test him to find out why. When I saw it was 24 I ran down to get Aj and some orange juice. We were unable to get Joe to drink with out wearing it. Thus I had to inject Joe with a special syringe made for low sugar. It brought him back to a conscious state so we could get him to drink the juice and level his sugar out. The entire day was a stop and go day with Joe. His sugar shot over 500 around lunch time making him tired and droopy. We managed to get it back down but insisted on a nap. It is now around 7:30 pm and he is feeling more like himself. Joe will be talking to his doctor on Monday about his insulin and having it adjusted again. He really should have been on the hospital if it were not for Aj and I . Close call, to close for comfort.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

It seems that I am falling behind a little now. For the past 4 days I have been sitting with a low fever of 99.6 It seems to come and go but has me very worn out. Yep you can definitely say that I have not been feeling like myself these days. I saw one of my doctors Thursday and my blood pressure was 143/ 82, His nurse made me stay at the office for an hour on a "time out" as she called it.I managed to sew 6 grocery bags that I will be posting to the Blog as a give away. I just need to get them photographed and set up the raffle. I also have been crocheting and made several baby sweaters. I will be posting pictures of these as well. Like I said I have had no energy to get off the couch. The guys are harping on me to get more rest. I feel like I am faking, I mean well I am so used to "doing " everything and always being on the go that sitting for a long period makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. At least I am crocheting so that is good.Today Joe is finally working on an outlet for me. He is putting one in by my sewing table. No more extension cords. Ron has been sleeping most of the day. His shoulder has been bugging him. Aj ran off to skate board and Jen is hanging out with her friends. It has been quiet here for the most part. My "worry" meter is low today for a change. Keep up cause I would hate for you to miss the Grocery bag give away.ttfn

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Last night was horrible, Joe and I were fighting, Aj has not been listening and Ron has had enough. Ron has set down the law of his house and told Aj he is on probation. He has 1 month to start respecting his father and the rest of us, listening to what he is told and complaining less. If he does not then he is not allowed to live here anymore. This now leaves Joe with choices that he has to make. Move out, give Aj to his mother or foster him, or ask his parents to take him again for a while. I have no idea what is happening all I know is that my blood pressure is way to high, I am now anemic and constantly tired. Not to mention stressed to the max and with it all very cranky. So here I am in the waiting game hoping that AJ realizes that reality is hitting him in the face and it is time to wake up.What's next?I have no idea. I can say that my car is being fixed, less a bill or 2 but we need to get to all the doctor appointments the 3 adults have. Ron is healing, Joe is playing computer games most of the time and I am fighting to stay awake lately. Such a dull life we lead. Suggestions are always welcome. To be honest we could really use a few! It seems for each step we move forward we fall back 4.Oh, just an FYI. Jen my 14 yr old is not exempt from the punishments. Her father has taken her tv and reminded her that her life is pretty good and can get simplified, Ie: no tv, mp3 player, psp, going out with friends and overnights. He may not be able to tell her that she has to move but he can make living at home hard. With AJ, he wants him to learn that if it wasn't for Him(Ron and I) that life would be very difficult for himself and dad right now. especially with no family backing. We just want to be appreciated and respected. Ok so enough complaining on my part. I have cut out 20 grocery bags that I am hoping to sew with the intention to raffle off a few on here. You know GO GREEN!ttfn

Monday, April 27, 2009

Today was the day Ron had his surgery. For those of you who did not know about this it was for a rotary cup tear. When the Doctor opened up his shoulder he discovered that the tear was not as bad as he originally figured. Thank God for little miracles. Ron has been patched up and hopefully now will be back to work in about 7 weeks. We brought him home and with little complaint he is nursing his wound. Of course the pain medication is working wonders for him too. It must be a good day as I got in touch with someone I have missed since my cruise in March, Pam. I really have missed speaking with her. We have been writing back and forth via email, but at her end she has been super busy and doesn't get to respond as often as I "live" online. The phone time made my day. We hit it off so well on the ship that I would hate to loose her friendship even as new as it is. Personally I can not wait till we get to see each other again. Can ya tell how much I miss her? I never had a friend before like her, well beside Joe but that doesn't count cause he shares my bed. Don't get me wrong I have met and chatted with others and know several people but there is something about Pam that I can not explain. Like a sister you never met but know from the heart. She just belongs.

Friday, April 24, 2009

My 18 yr old moved out 2 days ago and with her went her income. So no more help there. We knew eventually the day would come but we also had expected that Joe's Social Security would sort of pivot out the expenses. It never came. So now my meager income is footing the bill. Ron is out of work for the next 5 1/2 months due to an injury and after that we have no idea what happens. So who is paying the bills? I am paying the mortgage and that's about it!It just so happens my blood pressure has been high and the doctor is concerned that I will collapse from it. Right now it is not treatable as "High" blood pressure. But it does cause reason to watch. Even my mother is worried about it. I have daily chest pain and a head ache from it. But then what does it matter. It is not like anyone else is going to change things here. Or like they can. My mood is depressed and sour. I don't want to do anything and find no joy in my surroundings. I think it is more like we can not afford to do anything so why bother and that is depressing enough.Once again everyone sits on the couch or on the computers because we really have no clue how to make things "happen". We owe money and can not pay it, we can not make these debts go away, so as the days move on things happen and grow. Oh I forgot to mention my check engine light is back on and my car needs to be worked on again. Who can afford that? Shit! We really need some relief here. This on going saga seems to never end and there is never any help outside these walls. Eventually one of us is going to fall over from the stress of this house. We have grown to hate it here. Not one of us likes it anymore. We would gladly give up this house and this state for a better place, a better life and a stress free enviorment.When you wake up and what should be beauty of life turns into a nightmare of where is the "Money" to survive. It becomes a terrible shame. Our lives have lowered to a level of finacial hell. The word Love has been strained by money, bills and the lack of. Our faith is tested daily and it is very hard to hold on to what you truely believe in. Especially when you have little to nothing to work with.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I think the title says it all. Our weather here sucks today. Cold and rainy. I have hopes that tomorrow is better, at least weather wise. Joe had his heart tests done yesterday and so far so good. That means the cruise is a go. Ok so there is something good in the yuck of things. I managed to tear something in my groin... AGAIN. this really sucks. Every time I try to do something, lift something... I am in pain. Upside of it, I have lost so far 6 pounds. Ok so another good thing has happened. Might have to changed the title by the time I am finished posting.Monday Ron has surgery on his shoulder. His recovery will take 5 months. That is 5 months home, no work and making me buggy. But that is ok, I am used to it.Angel's babies daddy came back from California today. Lord help us! Angel is like living in HELL. Her mood swings are so wide it is like being on a sail boat during a hurricane and the mast swinging freely knocking your ass off the boat. Hang on Fellas your going in!!! Perhaps there is hope that this boy will own up and get a job and be a daddy? Ok who am I kidding?Soooo.. for now I am stuck on the couch, watching tv and computing. Later I will crochet, surf and cook super. ttfn

Saturday, April 18, 2009

I was not going to post this yet as a picture wasn't taken. It was sort of an after thought on our part. So this is the skinney of things. Today Joe handed over the key to his motorcycle and I started to learn how to ride it. Yep that's right all. I did it. I made it to second gear on our side street. It isn't long enough to go any faster so I did what I could. Joe said I did great for my first time out. I am soooo thrilled. I had a blast. He said next time he will take pictures of me riding so that I can use them for the blog. Until tomorrow...Have a good night!

I am thoroughly burnt out. After hours of combing through others Blogs I am pooped. I love crochet patterns from other countries and have if you notice below, saved the Blogs. You are welcome to check them out as there are many wonderful patterns. But I warn you they are not in English. Once my mind can absorb again I will be back surfing once more. In the mean time I am off to take a break. Take care.. Oh here is a little something for you to enjoy

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Angel is making us all crazy!! Beside the fact that she listens to nothing we say , the baby's daddy who is in California cause he ran off for another woman, calls here to tell her she is with another boy. Of course she was, walking with her sibling to the store. I tell you something better give or I am going to strangle someone. I am sick of her pregnancy, sick of her, sick of all the bull shit that is going on around here and just want it all to go away already. You would think that we could just be happy and enjoy the little things in life, well not with her drama. Go get me this, shut up, I want that, I am tired, there is nothing to do. Why dont you buy more food. I have nothing to wear.. It goes on and on and on. And that is just Angel.I have 2 more children that have their days and at least they are young enough to understand the words grounded. Life is not hard enough on us as adults trying to support them, Making ends meat with what little we have? Can they not cut us some slack? Have words of wisdom please feel free to spread some our way....

Monday, April 13, 2009

It's Monday and of course it is raining. I can not imagine where the warmer weather is. Isn't suppose to be spring? It makes for a blah mood. Lately there has been a lot of blah going around my house. The adult had a good long discussion and decided that we had to get it together and heal the issues at hand. We are in what is called a "waiting game" . With that in mind you can not really set a mood because you have no idea really how to think on things. I am almost finished crocheting another baby blanket, this one for a girl. It is very colorful and yes pictures will come once it is finished. Once the rain passed. Say by Thursday, we are going to plant some tomato's. Joe set up a bed for the plants away from the dog. It really is the little things that are hitting home these days. If not for them I would totally loose it. . I am off for some coffee but will be back in a little while to post some more

Saturday, April 11, 2009

I never got a chance to show you my toys. Pretty pink Petunia, my lovely Italian scooter and then the red scooter that my family likes to play with. This will be the first year we get to really enjoy them. In Indiana you do not need anything special to get them on the road. IE: license plate, insurance, drivers license.. Just the desire for the open road. You just can't take them on the highways.

In the mess of my life there is a new addition that will be coming sometime near the begining of Nov 2009. We are not sure if it is a boy or a girl yet. Still this is the first I have crocheted, it is for a boy. Perhaps I have set the tone for the future? My daughter is playing with the name Malachi and has none yet for a girl. Hope you like what I have made

Friday, April 10, 2009

Joe wrote to his parents for advice on his current situation. Financial and mental. I had written earlier about my husband supporting him and his son. The state gives him a piddle of cash so that he can have something which is about $200. Not enough to live on by any means. He got a response from his father. I guess the general comment was to get a job. Now in most cases you and I would say Sure Joe that sounds good. go get a job. But Joe has been released from work for a couple years due to medical reasons and poor health and is fighting for SSI/SSD. He is on the cusp of it all now.With no income and a son and X wife. She can surface and fight to take the boy. Might not win because of her mental health but then the state would take Joe's son and foster him. Now think on this. My husband is saving Joe and his son a lot of grief. Joe is and has asked for just a little help. some relief from the rest of us. He gets nothing. no response. His family is 5 times the size of mine and not a finger. Ok his sister has helped us. She did a major part in the purchase of our house. But we are really stuck again. Now what. Joe needs something steady on a month to month till his SSI/SSD rolls in. AJ needs clothing Joe needs shoes. Its the little things that are missing because we cant do it. Joe can not offer me a little something as a trinket of love. He has empty hands. When does Love take over or fail when your income can't maintain your life? Can anyone answer this question? please feel free to respond

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

So if I was to say I was interested in say maybe selling a kidney.... what would I have to do? I mean I have 2 and they work really well. I figure someone out here could use one and we need the money really bad. It would be a win win situation... think about it

I have several issues to address. First of all Joe and AJ. Joe was denied his income once again and my separated spouse is supporting him and AJ his son. Is that proper? Is it fair? Should I allow it? Is love that binds that thick and if it is should I not be with my husband then? Who suffers the most with all of this?We are all suffering here again. Ron was injured at work and living on 60% income supporting us ALL. Angel is pregnant and doesn't know if she is coming or going. Her income is the same way up in the air.My car is on it's way out again. The transmission is slipping. We need $1600 to fix it and don't have it. No there is no way to back out of the trip we prepaid. It is NON REFUNDABLE. So don't bring it up. I am stuck. Joe is Stuck. Our relationship is in hell or virtually non existent at this point. We are trying but money looms over everything we do these days.Angel is not making things any easier on us. I want this gimmie that. I am going to be 18 so gimme gimme. That's all we hear these days.On the flip side, I had 7 teeth drilled on yesterday so I can eat with out pain. I am in pain anyways from the twisting of my jaw and lips. Maybe tomorrow I will feel like eating. Not today. Seriously I wish there was something better to post to anyone who reads this. I have nothing left to give, sell or bleed out. I am empty and broke. My bills are paid and that's about it. No luxuries available for the summer. Note with out the car we will not be able to get to the cruise either. Keep that in mind. A total loss of the money paid for a little something for almost everyoneWith this mouthfull I will close for now....

Saturday, April 04, 2009

I have been in this awful funk when it comes to crochet. Perhaps I have broken that and am on a roll now. I just finished this top. Made with out a pattern it is all my own. I believe I can modify it for another if wanted. I would seriously have to try. I can tell you I used an F hook for the cups and a G hook for the body. It is all cotton and feels really nice on the skin. Shame I sold off my cotton else I would be making more for the summer. Hope you like looking at it as much as I will like wearing it.I am really proud of myself on this one!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I got off the couch, if only for a little while. This morning I had to go for nerve injections. Meaning they numb the nerves so they will not cause pain. Fun! Angel , my soon to be 18 and totally irresponsible daughter had to get blood work. Her doctor wants to see how pregnant she really is. If only she wasn't... Tomorrow I am going to play taxi for her so I know she goes to see the doctor. I am not pleased. I have my own agenda to follow tomorrow and it's a long day coming.I managed to crochet a couple items. 2 bathing suit tops. I am thinking about adding material to them and making summer tops that can be used more often. Pictures will comes eventually.I got an email today from Pam, she is a wonderful lady that I met on the cruise. Honestly I was thrilled. It is nice to make a friend. I envy her for working in the Corporate world, where as I am the happy homemaker. It has been years since I worked, I miss it sometimes. I miss the money more. You could say the being around people and having my days filled ... I miss that. Here I have Joe and Ron oh and the kids. Days drift in and out endlessly . Yes they are long and usually dull. I count down the days till our Cruise in Oct. Mentally I need to get away. I am tired... of nothing. so with that thought I am going to find something to make for supper. Have any ideas.. send them on. I am always looking for something new.

Monday, March 30, 2009

It has come to my attention that the writing skills I once possessed have somehow died off. When I go back into my blog, I have seen and am ashamed how my words have come to fail me. My life is as dull as my words have become. Less meaning and the zest for life missing. Will it come back? This I can not say.As for life, I am dealing with several issues that have been bothering me. One the lack of crochet that I am doing. I believe this has to do with the dying out of my home life. We spend so much time sitting on our asses during the day, that it seems a waste to even wake up. No zeal it's gone. As a whole we have become a lazy boring bunch. Tsk, such a shame.Until I can get my arse off the couch..ttfn

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Another day is here and of course it is far from dull. Joe recieved an answer to his Social Security and it was a big fat NO. He went to appeal it first thing. So now he waits again. Hopefully it wont be over a year like the last time. Angel is still using the fact that at 17 and being pregnant is a great excuse to do nothing. She also has it in her head that what belongs to everyone else it hers too. Jen is all about boys and at 14 doesn't bode for anything good. AJ he needs to learn to stop flapping his lips. If the kids would melow out things might be tolerable. I am trying to get the guys to give up our dog and one of the cats. Due to bills and overhead I think it would be a smart idea. Hopefully someone will see that.Oh and still counting down the days till our next vacation. At this point it is all that keeps me moving these days. Medication change came to. I guess I had a reaction to one pill that gave me restless legs in the day time hours. Will see what happens now. I am off to check my auctions .. Toodles for now

Friday, March 20, 2009

How do you make 204 days move faster? I am sitting here crawling out of my skin with anticipation . Yep another cruise is awaiting us Oct 10th. This time as a family we will be going. It is our birthday presents to Joe, AJ and Jen.My biggest stressor is raising money for the vacation part. I am selling alot of my craft magazines and books as well as yarn on my Ebay store. Please feel free to help a fellow crafter out. I am still crocheting to order but not just randomly making things these days.But how to make the days move quicker.I also have over 100 pounds of material that I am selling. Mostly cotton blends. Asking $75.00 for ALL of it. If you know someone who might be interested email me at Flametide@aol.com and put Material in the subject line. I can ship it anywhere in the US . Let me know.. I am off to auction land to add more items.Toodles.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

So I am back home and getting my email groups back to regular mail. Come to find out I was released from a group for "no mail" and the other groups I am a member of seem to not be getting my mail or have me set to spam. Gee I feel like I shouldn't bother . So what I don't crochet right now. I am on vacation from it! I think it is just down right pissy to get into a mood because I went away. I think that it was much deserved and damn skippy I am going again in October for another Cruise. I guess I will just have to find new groups to join that are less "moody" and want me for me. Pshaw!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Oh how the time has flown so fast. I am already back from the Cruise of a lifetime. It seems like forever since I went away.

It was fantastic, Joe and I left a couple days early and stopped at Disney World for a day and drove around Kissimmee and Orlando the other. Saturday morning we headed to the ship and of course boarded it after waiting around for a couple hours. We were so excited to be traveling that we got there a little on the early side. Our trip took us to Cozumel , Belize , Costa Mayo and Nassau. I got to walk a the beach, shop in the little local stores and take tons of pictures. Not to mention made a couple friends while on the ship. I can tell you that I am not happy to be back. I rememebered all the reasons I had wanted to go away. But the nice thing is that we are talking about taking a cruise again closer to Christmas time as a family.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

The days don't seem to move fast enough, especially when you know you are going on a dream vacation. I will be leaving March 6th to drive from Indiana to Florida. I am super excited and nothing I do seems to make my days move any faster. At least I know tommorrow will be busy as will Monday. We have errands to take care of . If I had my way we would leave right after the hearing Monday and dally in Orlando. Oh well I am going to find something interesting to do. I should be posting again in a little while. Maybe with something of interest to you all

Friday, February 20, 2009

You seriously will not believe this but after all the harping and belly aches I get to go on a Vacation. Not just ANY vacation but a Cruise!! Can you believe it. My X (Ron ) paid for it all. Isnt he wonderful!! I will be leaving on March 6th to drive to Orlando Florida for a 7 day Cruise to Mexico, Central America and the Bahamas. I have always always wanted to go abroad and on a boat too. Now I get to do both. I am taking Joe and Ron paid for him as well.Yes our lives are strange but on some days I would not have it any other way. Yes I will take pictures to share with my fellow Bloggers. Super happy is the mood. Now if only I would be able to eat with out feeling icky ....At least I will loose weight before we go.Anyone have formal clothes they can loan to me? I am in need of a formal dress for the trip

Thursday, February 19, 2009

For as long as I can remember ... we have been a econmy income family. Living check to check like so many other people do. After 20 some odd years we took our first vacation in 2006 to Disney World. Now in 2009 I am asking to vacation omce again.You see I got this notion in my head that I would like to do certain things before I get to "old " to enjoy them or before I die. Which ever comes first. With our budget as it is, anything I choose while it is still winter will be a strain. For instance, we are a large family 6 when you include the spouse I have been separated from. Otherwise 5. I have been talking about Disney again or a cruise for 7 days. Both cost an obscene amount especially for so many people.My children said "Mom, why don't you go on the cruise with Joe ( boyfriend) and we will go to a theme park during the summer, like Cedar Point" I think that would be awesome. But there is always something trying to keep me here. My mom saying you have house payments to make and cant do anything, stay local. The x spouse who seems to get upset that the funds are shared and he is not going. Mind you he is on probation and can't go with out permission. So I called his probation officer this morning and left a message.I am destined to go somewhere for a week or so and by golly I will find a way. For now I am selling my crochet items, books, hooks and yarn . This way I have donated funds to the cause.For now I am going to head back to a cup of coffee and pull out what needs to be Ebayed.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Yes Ladies and Gentleman I am on Ebay again selling crochet related items. I tell you it's a steal of a price that I am offering things at. My goal is to make enough so that the family can go on a trip this summer. Please drop in and help a fellow crocheter out.My Ebay link is on the side of this page. Seller name is Tempstmoon.Thanks all for stopping in

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

On one of the yahoo groups I am on( yep it is a crochet group) I won a contest called "TAG" I was it. The last person who was "it" had to pick someone , make them something and surprise them with a package. Well today the package came to me. 16 dishtowels that were hand crocheted. Perfect for my house and large family. We are always using towels in the kitchen. I was defiantly shocked to have been picked. Now it is my turn to pick someone and make them something special. Here is a picture of what I won...

About Me

In July 2007 my family and I moved to Indiana from Erie Pennsylvania. I am a mom of what seems to be an endless number of children. I have one cat,(Mr.Nibbles) who does not know he is a feline and I am not inclined to tell him otherwise. Our newest addition is a Lab/Hound mix, Of course her name is Leila. Most people who know me tell me I am eccentric by nature and never doing anything by the "rules". I have my moments like anyone else I guess. Outgoing somedays, withdrawn others. ( haha... sounds bi-polar)