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Saturday, July 14, 2012

Day 92 - The Slacker

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a slacker

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid taking responsibility for myself in this system and reality through becoming a slacker where I look for ways and excuses to get out of anything that involves me taking responsibility for myself so that I am able to do what I want instead of what must be done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking responsibility for myself and in this fear to become the slacker where I decide to not take responsibility for myself here as life responsibility meaning taking care of myself as life in working, in cleaning up my reality, in understanding reality, in giving myself an education, in not allowing myself to party constantly, in allowing myself to create priorities and stick to doing them so that I am doing the best that I can to make this life a life worth living and in this to as well make all life a life worth living through taking responsibility for this Earth as it exists due to my part within humanity and humanity as a whole and to in this create a life within equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the fear of taking responsibility for myself to allow others to take responsibility for me and to in this rely on their support within money, a house, food, clothing, water etc, in this not realizing that the result of this is a dependent person where one will become reliant on all others in this life to direct their life, instead of taking the self-directive responsibility and directing ones own life for self

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider to consequences of my
actions when I decide to not be here and participate as an equal with what is
here manifested on this Earth - meaning that as I slack off others will have to
carry the load that I have abdicated my responsibility within

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that as I slack off
others must pick up my work load and that I am thus abdicating my part in equal
responsibility within this world and within this system

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that humans must become
the custodians of the Earth and take care of the Earth fixing what we have
destroyed and abused and that the slacker character is not relevant within life
- life does not slack off for its own self-interest it is stable in is
application of itself here as here

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I must move through
this system to understand this system as me and birth myself here as life and
that slacking off in any way is only going to prolong my existence as the system
as I as the slacker only support the system through not moving myself through
it in equality and oneness and standing as life as breath in every moment
within/as the system to transform and change myself as the system within the
system into life

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to slack off when there is work to be
done because of the simple thought of `I do not want to do this` which is like
saying I do not want to be here and breathe as that is exactly what I did as I
allowed myself to go into the mind and search for ways to avoid responsibility
and exist within self-interest through watching a movie and creating a lie to
support myself within self-interest instead of simply breathing and going
through the actions of work and getting it done

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the slacker character through
the resistance towards actually applying myself in this world and the desire to
explore the mind and the energy within the mind attempting to manifest the best
feelings.

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the slacker character is damaging to life through not taking responsibility for life and
thus is not life itself as life does not harm life - life supports life - and
that in this I as a slacker allow the abuse to exist through not taking responsibility for myself within what is here as me and change it/myself into
life

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid my responsibility within what
is here through accepting myself to ignore what is here and ignore my part
within what is here, ignoring that I am equally responsible for what is here
through living within it and as it becoming it and thus accepting it, and to in
this avoid facing the reality of the situation through slacking off within the
responsibilities that I have within/as the system and in this missing the
opportunity to take responsibility for myself here within the system and birth
myself as life as I walk within/as the system as me

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that slacking off is
only because of the extensive amount of fear within me, fear of facing what I
am responsible for, fear facing what this world and self has become, fear
facing the work needed to correct myself within the mess that I have become as
a multitude of characters - where I do not stand as one with myself but within
separation of myself as the many characters I have become and live as

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed the thought `I don't want to do this` control
me in becoming a slacker where I look for ways and chances to avoid taking
responsibility for myself here within the system where I do not have to do a
damn thing but `vegetate` basically and where I am free to explore
self-interest to its fullest extent

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for ways and chances in many
moments where I am able to give into the thought of `just not wanting to do it`
and to then explore self-interest instead of being here within breath and
walking myself within/as the physical, breath by breath, until that which I did
not want to do is done

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid taking responsibility for
myself here within and as the system that is here through becoming the slacker
character where I avoid all the responsibility possible and separate myself from
reality through moving into self-interest where I am able to ignore and avoid
the reality of myself and this world where it becomes `easier` to avoid myself
as who I have become

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is us who are
responsible for the current state that the world is in because of the current
state that we are in as all these characters and that as the slacker character
I am only existing in fear of what I have become as the image and likeness of
this world and attempt to avoid it through `slacking off` which is really
indulgence in self-interest.

I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that we all must take
responsibility for ourselves within this world through understanding who we
have become as these characters of ourselves created through memories of who we
are within a specific moment/event and to in this stop living as characters and
birth ourselves here as life

I commit myself to
investigating the slacker character deeper in how it is manifested within and
as the entirety of the world system as not taking responsibility for self here
in this world

I commit myself to
standing equal and one with the slacker character through self-forgiveness of
separating myself from myself as the character and to in this completely
understand how I became the character and how it affects the entirety of the
world system as I become it

I commit myself to
when and as I find myself wanting to `slack off` and move into self-interest to
breathe in that moment and stop the desire to experience the self-interest that
I have placed as an idea within the mind and to re-direct myself within taking
responsibility for myself here - no matter how much I want to avoid it.