However. Like the cnut that I am, I left a rucksack on a First Great Western train from Paddington to Hereford, complete with laptop and loads of wires and crap in it. This was the week after 7/7.

I got off the train at Charlbury (pished), realised my mistake, thought that would be the last I saw of it and went home.

Then I phoned the Brit Transport Police, FGW and everyone else I could think of in case there was a security alert.

I needn't have worried. The train got as far as Great Malvern to be cleaned - nobody noticed the rucksack - and got as far back as Worcester Shrub Hill where a very brave soul picked up said luggage and put it in the station office until I could arrive to pick it up and buy them all a bottle of champagne.

Firstly, these two should face the full force of the laws relating to anti-terrorism - no excuses! Slam this pair of utter 'no-brains' as hard as the law allows. (Having said that, if you break the law under the regime of Bliar and Cyclops - walk away - unless you are public school or 'Oxbridge').

Secondly, these tw*ts are reported as being from the 'Daily Mirror' - therefore, no charges will be preferred.