We are the people

“Where are the people?” resumed the little prince at last. “It’s a little lonely in the desert…”

“It is lonely when you’re among people, too,” said the snake.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

It is said loneliness does not mean having no one around. Being utterly and inconsolably alone. No. Loneliness is the inability to communicate what you feel is important to those around you. Being constantly misunderstood.

Funny.

They say birds of a feather flock together. They say that we become alike the five people we spend most time with. Yet, sometimes, we find ourselves among people who make us feel lonely.

I do not feel lonely by myself. I have lots of stuff to do. I keep myself busy. I keep myself learning. There’s a lot of things to do by yourself. But sometimes I felt lonely… lonely beyond any possible translation.. among other people. At parties and such. I would write stories in my head. I would imagine the comfort of my home waiting for me. I just had to wait a few more hours.

It is, indeed, lonely among people too.

But I dare ask: do the people who make you feel lonely… are they really your people? Your kind of people? Are they really the ones you’d do anything to spend time with?

Whatever is the answer you find, that’s also the cure for loneliness.

The way I see it, loneliness is an yearning for a certain kind of connection. It’s the desire to be understood by another. To be trusted, to trust in return.

We desire meaning above everything else when it comes to other people.

We oftentimes forget this.

We. The People. We, the lonely among so others just like us.

Such a sad truth, isn’t it?

That we are more than ever before, yet we feel lonely like never before.

While we spend time and resources on finding cures for diseases of the body, we should also allocate the same amount of effort into finding cures for diseases of the soul. For they are intimately related.

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9 thoughts on “We are the people”

I’ve never known loneliness like I know it now. Knowing I am loved but having nothing way to communicate with that person has left me very lonely. Not because I am alone. Because I am without him. Good post, well said!

I have often been accused of being a loner because I don’t people around all the time. But the scripts for films I create in my mind, my books I am in the process of writing, and recently my photography for the year 2018 as well as my podcast. There is plenty to keep me busy, but when I am around people I am often times removed from the pack once I hear their conversation. I have nothing to contribute or can’t communicate in that particular area. So a lot of times I remain quiet until I am learned in that area of study.

This really resonated with me. I feel loneliness in crowds; my wanting to go home, to my quietness, where I can find my art, my books, my life! I seem to come alive in my ‘loneliness.’ Only. It is not lonely being alone. Is it? :) -Keri

If we become like the five people closest to us, then it’s a mistake to get close only to people already much like us. We have a lot to learn from people who have something in common with us, but something very different. Bonding just with people who reinforce our prejudices, for example, is a big danger of the internet. On the other hand, anything that throws a number of people together who are initially strangers and in some respects very different – university, a new club, military service, a busy pub, a church or other religious group – is a huge opportunity and just seeking out the people most like you, a big missed opportunity.

On loneliness, it’s worth noting that some people can cope with physical isolation very well and others, like a character in Joseph Conrad’s novel “Nostromo”, disintegrate when denied the attention of others. I suspect those who can cope with it include not only those who never much felt they needed society anyway, but also those with deep personal relationships and inner life, whose sense of self-worth does not depend on constant praise, admiration or power over other people.

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