The Jewish Ethicist: Suspect Suspicions

Should I tell the teacher about a suspected thief?

Q. I'm almost sure that a certain person stole from a classmate. Should I
tell the teacher?

A. Our last column on snitching received many interesting responses from
readers. (See: EXAM SCAM.) Many were surprised at the ultra-cautious
attitude Jewish tradition adopts towards informing on others. Your question
will give us another opportunity to show how we apply the special five
criteria we outlined there the "ABC's" of badmouthing others. But this
time, we'll try and provide a little more explanation of the ethical
importance of the old saw, "If you can't say anything nice about someone,
don't say anything at all."

There are three basic reasons we have to be extra careful before we make
accusations:

The most obvious reason is that most of us have a vindictive
instinct which can be carelessly unleashed unless we take great pains to
control it. Maybe what we want to see isn't really the total objective
truth after all. But even after we examine our facts and our motives and
find that they are sound, we have other reasons to be careful.

The second reason is that even if your information is sound and
appropriate, other people are not so careful. We must err on the cautious
side to avoid creating a culture of mutual suspicion and slander, and that
means that sometimes it's necessary to keep quiet even when we have
something accurate and beneficial to relate.

The third reason is based on a basic insight into human nature: our
behavior is not only by incentives but perhaps even more by expectations.
There is nothing novel about this insight; it's even enshrined in the Bill
of Rights, which forbids "cruel and unusual punishment". The Founding
Fathers recognized that such punishment, far from deterring crime by
providing frightful consequences, is likely to encourage it by reducing our
basic human sensitivity, which is the ultimate guarantor of a humane society.

Likewise, when we are prompt to inform on others and make sure they are
punished, it is true that we are giving incentives to act properly. But in
a sense we are walking around with a chip on our shoulders, almost daring
people to evade punishment. If on the contrary we attempt to look the other
way, we are sending a message that wrongdoing is something unusual,
something we don't expect and don't consider overly important. Ironically,
when someone's misdeeds are kept quiet, it is easier for the wrongdoer to
repent and straighten out.

If you succumbed to temptation and cheated on a test, you would probably
resolve never to do it again and hope you never got caught; you should
consider giving others the same treatment. (Of course another thing you
should do is make sure you don't garner any advantage from you dishonest act.)

Now let's get back to the five basic guidelines provided by the classic
work Chafetz Chaim by Rabbi Yisrael Meir HaCohen of Radin. Again, only if
all five are met may we speak negatively of someone:

ACCURACY: it is forbidden to exaggerate or embellish.

BENEFIT: revelation must be the only way to way to obtain some constructive
benefit.

CERTAINTY: we must be sure the information is reliable.

DESIRE: the teller's intention must be constructive, not vindictive.

EQUITY: the revelation must not cause undeserved damage to the subject.
It's not equitable to protect one person at the expense of another.

In your case, we would apply these criteria as follows:

ACCURACY, CERTAINTY: Since you are not sure that the person stole, you must
be careful not to make your knowledge sound more certain than it really is.
If you do decide to inform, you must clearly state that you have only
circumstantial evidence.

BENEFIT: Is telling the teacher, or the victim, likely to help the person
recover the stolen object? If not, then informing is of doubtful benefit.

DESIRE: Make sure your intention is to help the victim, not to harm the
wrongdoer.

EQUITY: If the teacher, or the victimized classmate, will act in an
undeservedly harsh way against the suspect, then you shouldn't tell.
Example: if they will consider it a certainty that he stole when there is
only a suspicion, or if they will impose an unduly harsh punishment on him
if the story is corroborated.

If all these criteria are fulfilled, it is not only permissible but even
desirable to transmit the information you have. But if you're not sure
they're fulfilled, then you should just live with your doubts. It's better
one crook should go unpunished than that you should unwittingly contribute
to an environment of suspicion and mistrust.

The Jewish Ethicist presents some general principles of Jewish law. For specific questions and direct application, please consult a qualified Rabbi.

The Jewish Ethicist is a joint project of Aish.com and the Center for Business Ethics, Jerusalem College of Technology. To find out more about business ethics and Jewish values for the workplace, visit the JCT Center for Business Ethics website at www.besr.org.

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About the Author

Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir is Research Director at the Business Ethics Center of Jerusalem (www.besr.org). He studied at Harvard, received a PhD in Economics from MIT, and rabbinic ordination from the Israeli Chief Rabbinate. Prior to moving to Israel, he worked at the Council of Economic Advisers in the Reagan administration. Rabbi Dr. Meir is also a Senior Lecturer in Economics at the Jerusalem College of Technology and has published several articles on business, economics and Jewish law. He is the author of the two-volume, "Meaning in Mitzvot (Feldheim), and his Aish.com columns form the basis of the "Jewish Ethicist" book (ktav.com).

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!