Messages - lalababa

Hi,Yes, I felt very strong feelings of love for Iboga, not like the love you have for a thing you like a lot but like the love you feel for a person...as I was having this strong feeling of love, I even had a vision that still makes me giggle when I think about it of Pee Wee Herman saying "then why don't you marry it! Hahaa" .

I also had feelings of love for other people and things in my life. I found love everywhere. .The theme of the flood was love with pink and red hearts everywhere and these feelings lasted long after the flood.Lala

also stay away from electronic media BEFORE.. you don't want to go in frontloaded with the worlds problems.. I personally want to eat as much as possible as my last meal since I can't stomach anything for about a week after my flood.. but I have eating issues anyways.. and then fast for the 12 hrs..I have eaten right before Iboga and it took much longer fir the medicine toi hit.. but I also am one of those people who do not get any nausea on Iboga and some people get a LOT of it so you won't know until you try. I hyave actually eaten ON Ibgoa.. right before the flood.. now that is interesting. My friend had some flavored chips and doghnuts.. I took a bite of each one and could taste the hundreds of chemicals individually.. I would recommend that ... it might just help solidify those diet changes you want to make.. but just a taste.. I may have screwed every other positive thing else up that Iboga has done for me but I have never eaten a bag of chips or anything with a powdered coating on it since!

I would also recommend Heantos.. I personally know someone who was very skeptical about it and it worked very well. It won't take all of the withdrawal symptoms away but a lot of them and it will let you sleep and eat. It is fairly inexpensive, you can do it at home, alone, it is safe and it works very well for the cravings as well which is what surprises me the most about it.

My two cents.. Iboga is endangered, please don't overdo/use it. You shouldn't microdose too long and it is continually building up in your system so if you are taking it for days on end with only a few days off in between, it is still there. A year, I feel is far too long. Perhaps a month on a month off..with a few days a week during that month but please don't abuse Iboga. There are many other herbal mood boosters.. try 5HTP?

10th generation Bwiti shaman? Moghunda? Ig that is who you are referring to, he is a scam artist of the highest order. He claims Iboga can cure anything. For him, even if it isn't Moghunda to say that you can do it alone, is absolutely wrong. Some of the worst horror stories I have heard are from people who have done Iboga several times. Please do not consider going into this alone or with someone who isn't going to be supporting you. Having someone in the house who isn't checking in on your well being isn't good enough.

I am in a benzo withdrawal support group and the stories I hear are horrendous but eventually it does end. Have you heard of Heantos? it is not psychoactive like Iboga or Aya but it seems to work very well for detoxes and it might be the thing to get you over this last hurdle with the benzos. It is inexpensive and safe to do alone. If I were in your situation, I would use that along with some Psilocybin or something along those lines. We have had some people on this forum using small amounts of Iboga for depression and some other issues like depersonalization come out a lot worse.

Did you actually flood during the ceremony? Did you have any profound vision or insight? Why wold he give you that much TA in such a short period of time? If it was moghunda, he could have said it was TA but that doesn't make it so.

I just want you to be safe. Rushing into Iboga is a bad idea. You never want to rush it.

I want to echo Rhythm Spring here and say welcome and thank you for sharing, I have been suicidal, I know what it feels like and it is horrible, I had a place, date and way I was going to do it all set. It sucks. In the end I backed out and numbed myself with opiates and I just didn't care much about anything anymore. I was dead emotionally. I wasn't depressed but I don't know which is worse.. at least I felt something. I personally do think Iboga helped me quite a bit but maybe not the first time. It did help me detox off of the opiates but I wasn't any happier... not for quite awhile anyways.

I do not think you did TA. there is no way they would give you three grams of TA several times in a week. It must have been rootbark which at that dose is a stimulant and can greatly reduce anxiety. Too little TA can too. When I have sat for people and they are anxious, I know to give them more...works like a charm. I don't think 1 gram of TA is going to be any better than a couple of grams of bark IF you decide to do Iboga again, do a full flood dose and have someone who supports you doing the flood dose and knows a bit about it with you. Having someone there who does not want you to do it is not a good idea. being a sitter or having a sitter is an energy exchange and you do not want negative energy while you are with the father.

One thing you could do right now that will help immensely is eating healthy and exercising. I know it is a lot easier to say than to do. I have a hard time eating at all when I am depressed let alone spending the time to prepare something that is good for me. I once went, I kid you not, over two weeks eating nothing but ice cream. How could you be mentally healthy when you are doing that? and I rarely see super healthy people severely depressed. The times when my diet were good were probably the only times in my life where I was truly happy. Iboga has this weird little side effect where afterwards you don't want to put anything into your body that it doesn't need and I think this is where part of the afterglow comes from. So if you can't do a full flood dose right now, could you try this? Working with Ayahuasca sounds like a fine plan too. It is super easy to make at home and you don't NEED a sitter like you do with Iboga. Being a sitter is more than just being in the same house. You need someone who is there for you and is checking on you and knows what to check for and getting you anything you need and helping you on your journey.

One other thing I am curious about is your age? Do you mind telling us roughly? Were you ever this depressed or suicidal before taking benzos? I know it can take years to fully come off of them. I decided it wasn't worth it and am still on them. I guess that is something that you have to decide too. But two years, you could be in the final lap.. If this emptiness is benzo related (and it could very well be) there could be a light at the end of this..you have to hang on either that or get back on them (which I am not recommending by the way) it is just that serious! You can not end it because of those little bastards! If you haven't had a lot of trauma and your childhood was decent, I would have to make a logical guess that it is related if not a major factor in why you are feeling this way and two years is the years I am talking about when I say it can take years to come off of. I have heard a lot of nightmare stories about kicking benzos.. for some people it isn't all that bad but for some..they feel like you do. Your body takes time to heal.. please give it all the time it needs! Feed it all the natural medicine it wants! This does not have to include Iboga to work, but if you choose to do it, do it right.

Yes, I still laugh every time I think about it! at first, I was embarassed by it and didn't even write about that vision in my write up.. I did but when back and took it out but soon after I realized how great it was my sister and I used to say it all the time to each other growing up so much so that I tried to never say that I loved something inanimate

I think it is good that you do not speak with your mother, at least for now. Iboga pretty much told you to stay away, that she was dead to you..or should be, not in the literal sense anyways..but you know what I mean.. that is what I gathered anyway. I sure am glad you listened when you felt Iboga calling you again! Not many people would go into it for a second time after having a first experience like yours. Bravo!

Thank you for writing this. It was VERY moving and brought me to tears. I love that you realized a long time later that Iboga was helping you even though the experience was miserable after the first flood.

The second flood resonates with me very much, I felt Ibogas love DEEPLY, I fell in love with "him" .. I saw Pee Wee Herman Say "Then why don't ya marry it! haha" it is funny how so many of us just know that it is a male spirit! I even had similar visions of garbage being flushed away into a vast ocean.

I am curious to how your relationship is now with your mother or if she is "dead" to you now. If you no longer have any contact with her, I would understand. Iboga is wise!

I think that we women sometimes have more blissful experiences with Iboga than a lot of men and I am curious as to why. I have some thoughts on it, even more so after reading this. I wonder if it has something to do with of the masculine spirit and our relationship with our fathers ? It is so fascinating to me. I know that some men have blissful experiences during a flood but hearts, confetti and PeeWee Herman, like I have? I doubt it.

How many times did you try Ayahuasca? I personaly do not have a ton of experience with it but I know people who have and I don't think one or two times is going to be enough to be extremely therapeutic. From what I understand you may need many sessions to really get to the bottom of your issue.

dreamedm

So here again, I see the word "cure" a lot. Iboga or Ibogaine isn't a "cure" for anything. It can be a wonderful tool, an ally, but there is still work that needs to be done, you don't just come out of it free of all of your demons. I wish it were the case and it may even seem like it is in the beginning but it isn't. We don't want to misinform people on this fact.

Second we don't like to give dosing amounts here because each and every person is different and can react to the medicine differently. Each batch of the Iboga or Ibogaine can be different as well. If doing a flood dose, I do recommend staggering doses. If microdosing, start out with a small dose and work your way up as you get a feel for how it affects you. The mg/kg ratio isn't always going to be the best way for everyone but it is a good reference point.

There is lot of information in this forum and I suggest anyone who is even considering Iboga, flood or microdosing, read as much as possible before jumping in. There is a lot of information outside of this forum as well and it is important to do your research, especially if you are planing on doing any type of DIY treatment. I researched heavily for over 8 months before taking a flood dose. I soaked up every word I could read and video I could find. I know there is a lot more information today than there was even a couple of years ago or probably even a couple of months ago but do your own research and don't take one persons experience and build yours off of it. You are not going to have the same experience as someone else and if you were to do an Iboga flood three times, I guarantee every one of those experiences will be different.

If you do not have an experienced sitter, then the person who is going to be your sitter should inform themselves as much as possible on what to do and expect. There is a guide for sitters here, I am pretty sure, and that is a good place to start. Reading peoples journals is a good way to gather how different experiences can be. Don't just read one and expect to know what an Iboga flood will be like.. if you read them ALL, you still won't know what it will be like exactly...it is unlike anything else.

The ONLY thing I could compare it too and thought it did seem somewhat like, was the drug SOMA in A Brave New World only with the exact opposite effects as far as it opening your eyes to what is going on in the world instead of shutting them.. I have had that thought during every flood but this might be my first time stating that in this forum and since it is a book and everyone could interpret what SOMA would be like differently, I guess it is still not a good example but it is still the only thing I could compare Iboga to. I even wondered to myself if Huxley had taken Iboga before writing the book (granted it has been a very long time since I have read it) Has anyone else thought this??

You will find two people getting depersonalization from Ibogaine (Iboga TA, on the other hand, can cure DP. (My mistake about TA being safer than HCL, btw - of that, I am unsure of. Ibogaine HCL might be preferable and perhaps even safer for drug addicts, as the duration of the experience is shorter. Iboga TA, on the other hand, seems to be more effective in treating various mental disorders).

I bet I know who one of these people is.. Missjess with her life's mission to destroy the name of Ibogaine and the second is probably a friend she claims to have met on another forum

Second, I would not be so quick to say Ibogaine is a "Cure" for anything especially mental disorders, in fact, I don't do it at all, no one should. I do not recommend anyone with mental disorders take Ibogaine as it can exasperate them. People who are taking meds such as SSRI's need to steer clear of Ibogaine, it can be a very dangerous combination. We have had member(s) in here who were using RB have pretty bad experiences as far as their disorders go.. One girl claims it ruined her life.. granted I don't think she hadn't taken enough for it to ruin her life and it was probably the quick cold turkey of YEARS of SSRI's that were making her feel this way but she certainly blamed the root bark. We can't just get on this forum making such claims because people will take it as fact and not read up on all of the if's and's or but's (there are a lot of them) and that is just the case..so stating that Ibogaine is a cure for depersonalization or any mental illness is irresponsible and something that long term members here already know not to do..but since you are new, I forgive you we just have to be very careful when making such claims or not make them at all. If you state that it is your opinion only but much research needs to be done on an individual case then I guess it would be okay. Iboga and Ibogaine is a serious medicine and can be deadly so we each have a responsibility to make sure that everyone who reads a post on this forum be aware of that. I could go on but I am am hoping you understand my point.

No, microdosing for a month won't be the same as flooding and I don't think anyone would recommend it either. I do think microdosing can be very beneficial but I do think flooding is the way to go personally. There are a lot of good providers out there a lot of them are in mexico and South America.. There is Paul Featherstone in Greece and I have heard nothing but good things about him.

If you read the date of this report it is quite some time ago, we know a lot more about Iboga than we did then.. hell, I didn't know about it at all in 2011! I think it is common knowledge that there ca be toxic levels of Iboga but your results with the liver tests may be uncommon. I have heard several stories that are quite the opposite. I know of people with hep C who just didn't have it anymore after Iboga. I personally have a good friend who's crohn's disease was cured miraculously afterwards.. but there is still a hell of a lot we do not know about Iboga since the powers at be ,or the black magicians, do not want the knowledge of Iboga out there. I wish more people would have their liver tested before and after.

But.. your quote up there about the text seeming like advertising.. It is because of how well it is written or the praise of Iboga? It is someones trip report from their experience in Gabon..kind of insulting if ya ask me. I do not know your experience with Iboga but if you had a difficult or bad one, it doesn't mean they all are. I have glowing reviews of Iboga myself, I am madly in love with it.

Welcome to Eboka! I think I understand what you are trying to say though the translation is a bit rough. Your wife has an Alcohol problem. She is in otherwise good health and a good person but the Alcohol issue is her demon and causing a lot of problems for her..and you. She sounds very sad because her father committed suicide and her mother has an alcohol problem so it could be part hereditary and part situational and of course the kicker she is a Scorpio! You feel Iboga would help her because it helped you. Is that part correct? You have done Iboga? It helped you quit smoking for a little while and helped you quit smoking hashish..it changed your diet and it idid some good , yet you had no. The stuff you had was contaminated? This part I didn't quite understand.. it was contaminated but it worked.. except for the lack of visuals. I did not understand the part where you said " Cut off the hands " What does this mean? Or did you do Iboga twice and once it was contaminated and the second time it cleaned you out?

Anyways back to the wife. You want her to be healed very badly, I can feel it. Her alcoholism is not only affecting her and you but your children and this can lead to very bad things for their future. Do you mind me asking if he children are girls or boys? If you have girls, this could affect them worse than the boys.. there would be a good chance that they would end up in the same situation just like your wife's mother is an alcoholic.

Iboga can work wonders for alcoholism! The thing is that the person being treated must really want it for it to last. I have a very good friend who was one of the worst alcoholics I have ever met.. he would wake up in the middle of the night to take a swig of his vodka and go back to sleep (he is a Scorpio) He lost his home and was living in a sober house and could not drink, if he did he would be on the streets and he had already lived on the streets. He did Iboga and afterwards for the first time ever, he said he never wanted a drop of alcohol again. I do not even think his intention was to quit drinking. He was sober (from Alcohol) for almost a year when a bike accident and a broken hip led him to drinking again.. BUT not for long and he is sober this day. I never thought he would be sober. In fact, I thought I was an alcoholic before Iboga..now I can drink on occasion.. in moderation. I would not recommend anyone who uses Iboga for alcoholism to try this though.. I have realized I was just a drunk and not an alcoholic. Anyways..my point is it does work for alcoholism but there are some VERY important things.. Your wife MUST be sober and past the physical withdrawal of alcohol before considering a flood. Alcohol detox can be very dangerous and deadly so she can not detox from it with Iboga but can use it after for the cravings. She is microdosing now? Is it helping? She isn't drinking with it is she? If she is microdosing and drinking, it won't work. Alcohol pushes Ibogaine and noribogaine out of the system faster than anything..it may be the one thing that pushes it out. If someone starts drinking soon after a flood they will waste it and ruin all the work Iboga is trying to do. So until she is ready to quit there is no use in microdosing unless it is keeping her from drinking.

How long has she been sober, if she has been sober? Again, if you are planning on flooding her she must be for several days.. a week or longer?

I really hope she wants this. Alcohol in my opinion is the worst drug. It causes the most damage to people and society and is very harmful for the body. I truly hope for your sake and the sake of your children that she wants this. Iboga isn't a magic bullet, there is some effort needed. I had another friend who is an alcoholic who took it and was drinking again in a few days... she said it did nothing for her cravings which I find very hard to believe but she does not want to quit..it is part of her identity and she says she will always be a drunk.

There is new exciting news in the addiction treatment world. This new herbal concoction called Heantos seems to be very effective at alleviating withdrawals AND cravings! It is LEGAL in the US and SAFE TO DO AT HOME ALONE! It does not illiminate withdrawal symptoms completely but significantly reduces them and lets you sleep which many of us know is impossible during withdrawal. It also seems to curb cravings extremely well and it seems to alleviate PAWS quite a bit too. It is 12, maybe 13, herbs Some of which are fairly common. I have seen first hand how well it works.. it has been used for people coming straight off of methadone..for alcohol and cocaine. And the perfect trifecta seems to be a little bit of Kratom on the hardest days 2-4 and some benzos during those days as well.. We all know Kratom and Benzos can lead to nasty addictions themselves but if only using 2 or 3 days, I think it is okay.. It seems to work great alone but even better with one or both of the others. There is still a lot to learn but this could be used to wean down on long acting opes.. and used in conjunction w Iboga.. I can see people getting off their DOC with Heantos then a month later using Iboga to seal the deal.. or using Heantos for minor relapses after Iboga.. or alone so we can give Iboga a chance to come out of the endangered territory. I find this news very exciting! If anyone wants to learn more, let me know, I can get you the info you need. It does not eliminate all of the withdrawal symptoms but does make them manageable and you basically sleep through a lot of it. People say that their mood and appetite are good during the Heantos detox. Great news! Any tool we can have under our belt and a legal/safe one as well. People who are not candidates for Iboga because of a heart issue.. Heantos could be their answer!

I have not been on here, or the internet in general as much as I should and I apologize for neglecting my duties here.. I will try to be more present especially in the next couple of weeks because Rhythm Spring is taking an internet detox for a couple of weeks. I have just been having a rough time ever since Jack Tripper died and it may have seemed like O fell of the face of the earth since that happened (in here anyways) I REALLY miss that fucker! I have missed all of you too though.