Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13

Saturday, July 14, 2012

I'm ok

I'm sorry I've been so quiet. I owe emails to a few people and I will post about what I've been doing and learning the last few days, but right now I just feel too tired to make sentences. This has really not been as bad as I as afraid of but it hasn't been easy either and has involved a lot of time spent muttering to myelf, repeating over and over what I feel until the word sounds less awful. There has been swearing and name calling. And there's been exhaustion and little sleep and lots of nightmares.

So I will post soon but it may not be until I've seen Dr. Mind because I want his reaction before anything else. These are still very uncomfortable thoughts for me and some of it just feels wrong even though I think it is just what it is.

2 comments:

Anonymous
said...

Hi Jen,

Thanks for the update.

You just keep on doing what you need to be doing... whatever it takes even if that includes cursing and name calling. Get it out however you can.

What you are going through does sound emotionally exhausting! And that's not to mention lack of sleep and nightmares. It's like you are being pulled through the ringer - but you WILL come out the other side.

Good luck with Dr Mind tomorrow (?) - I am sure there is progress to record.

Search this blog

About Me

Over the years I have noticed that when I have the least hope a rainbow appears. Rainbows are a wonderful combination of beauty, hope, happiness and rain, the product of ugly grey clouds that hide the beauty of the sky. The beauty that is a rainbow can only come with the presence of both rain and sun. Such is life with bipolar disorder. There are good times, there are tough times, and there are rainbows to remind us that beauty will return, sometimes fleetingly and sometimes for a long time. This blog is my story of sadness and hope. Please scroll down to "Who I Am" under Pages to read more about me and the people who populate this blog.

In Case

Please note that any patient experiences noted in this blog are heavily edited to disguise events. Similarities to real persons are coincidental.

Please also know that while I speak as a professional at times, I am not a doctor. I have strong opinions, some based on professional training and/or experience, some based on research, and some based on personal experience of my own variety of this illness. Therefore what I say is my opinion, not a fact and doctors should always be consulted.