Knowing You Can….

My husband Thom and I have developed a weird yearly ritual: As my beloved 2009 Ford Escape (“Pup”), gets older and more tired, we spend about a week each Fall researching new SUV’s. Last year we were obsessed with the Toyota Highlander, the year before that it was a Lexus, up until tonight it was a Subaru Forester, then a Honda CRV. We spend hours researching all the reviews, the specifications, and the best deals in a 150 mile radius. Then in preparation for the Big Event we either vac and sanitize Pup ourselves or have him professionally detailed, all spiffed up for the big trade before we head off the next day to a select group of dealerships.

THEN, I take another look at my now shiny, immaculate little Pup with his new brakes, exquisite sound system, zippy energy, handy trailer hitch, remote starter, cozy leather seats, giant moonroof, and perfectly engineered boxlike physique, and I cancel the dates to cheat on him with fancier, younger Dudes. I feel like an ungrateful cad, betraying Pup’s steadfast determination to get me around safely and comfortably with some modicum of style as well. And in his quiet, forgiving way he takes me back….

So what is this weird ritual all about?

After examining all the aspects of replacing Pup, including scrutinizing the cost of “new” vs. the cost risks of “very used,” and looking closely at the issues of “want” vs. “need,” it all comes down to prerogative: how a choice becomes more of a choice, when you know you can do something. When it’s not an act of desperation made under duress, or an act of vanity to preserve or protect your image or sense of self, or some indulgence which might put you over the edge in some way, then you become free to choose it or not. You’re released! You can say yes or no!

So, once again, I choose to stay with my less sexy, but loyal, cozy old Pup, savoring the memories we share, and looking forward to the journeys in store for us together.

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About Susan Lager

I am a licensed, board certified pyschotherapist and relationship coach in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Through my psychotherapy or coaching services, I can provide you with
skills and tools to transform your life.