A’s reliever Pat Neshek discusses the loss of his son

A’s reliever Pat Neshek and his wife, Stephanee, lost their son, Gehrig John, 23 hours after he was born this week, and Neshek said Friday that the one day he spent with his first child “was probably the best day I’ve ever had. I’d go through it all again for that one day. It was pretty awesome.”

Neshek spoke with five reporters after the A’s workout today, and he said that it was Stephanee Neshek who decided that they should fly from Melbourne, Fla., to join the team in Detroit.

“The first thing she said is we need to get out of here and watch baseball, and that was fine with me,” he said. “I wanted to be with her and I wanted to be by her to get through this.”

Nehshek said that doctors never were able to determine a cause of death, but there will be an autopsy. He had gone home to watch the A’s game on television and, he said, “I got a call in the fifth inning and Stephanee said, ‘The baby stopped breathing.’ It was really hard. We sat all night. We didn’t know what to do.”

Neshek decided to post on Twitter that Gehrig John had died because they had continued to get congratulatory texts and tweets, “and that really hurt,” he said.

What they found after Neshek’s tweet was an outpouring of love and support from players and from fans, and they have been immensely touched by that.

Sitting at home after Gehrig John’s death, Neshek said, “I can imagine that’s what hell is like,” and he said the minute he stepped on the team bus this afternoon, he knew he and Stephanee had made the right decision to come here, because being back with the A’s felt so good.

“As soon as I got out there and started playing catch, it takes your mind off all the bad stuff,” he said. “It’s a good way of healing. … I don’t think we’ll ever get over it, but this is a good way to put the pieces back together.”

And, Neshek said, “If nothing else, we want to do it in my son’s honor.”

The A’s players and their families are grieving with the Nesheks. “I don’t see how it can get any rougher than this,” said fellow reliever Jim Miller, himself a recent father. “I don’t even know what you say. It’s absolutely gut-wrenching. I know nothing is going to take away the pain, but hopefully being part of this will help somehow. I know the longer we can keep this going, the better it will be for him.”

Catcher Derek Norris said, “It’s in all of our hearts, and it gives us a little extra to play for.”

Manager Bob Melvin said the team is proud that Neshek joined them and wants to pitch, and he said it’s “Awesome to see him. … We’ve been a very close-knit team here, especially in the second half, and I think that will benefit him. Now, what he’s going through, man it’s devastating, and we all know that.”