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Saturday, March 10, 2012

"Jack Sparrow Is Not My Name"

Joshamee Gibbs has done it again! Gotten himself arrested by the by the British and now must be tried in court. What is Gibbs done that's so bad? Well, everyone believes that he's Captain Jack Sparrow and everyone knows that Captain Jack Sparrow is the most infamous of them all. A lot of people attend the trial in hopes to see a good hanging.

Gibbs is dragged into court and the judge is announced: Judge Smith. Lucky for Gibbs, it's not Smith at all. It's much more better: Captain Jack Sparrow himself! Gibbs of course recognizes his best friend but the rest of the audience is fooled. Gibbs: "Jack!" Unfortunately for him, everything he says results in a nice punch. Jack: "Not necessary, you were saying?" Gibbs: "Jack Sparrow is not my name! It's Joshamee Gibbs!" Jack: "Is that so? It say's Jack Sparrow, right here." Gibbs: "I told ya', I'm not Jack Sparrow, who I would be happy to identify to the court if it would help my case." Jack: "I think it would be a poor defense unless you want to be bludgeoned again like a harpsey!" Good old friendly banter. Jack continues: "Joshamee Gibbs! The crime in which you have been found guilty of is being innocent of being Jack Sparrow. I hear by commute your sentence and order that you be imprisoned for the remainder of your miserable, morale, mutton-chopped life. THERE!" He strikes the ballot and the session is closed. And whatever it is that Jack just said is to be carried out immediately.

Gibbs is shoved into a carriage to be taken to prison. Jack's got it all planned out though. He sneaks out of the court, where he has the real judge tied up and leaves his wig, glasses, and robes behind, with a polite, "Thank you very much." Jack pulls on his hat and returns to his good old pirate self. He too is in the carriage and has paid off the driver. Instead of taking them to prison, they'll ride to the outskirts of London and make it to the coast, where they can somehow find a ship and return to the piratey world of the Caribbean. No more of this fancy British stuff. Jack's got it all together: "I arrived in London town just this morning to save one Joshamee Gibbs from an appointment with the gallows. Seeing as how you're still alive, I say it's all been very success thus far."

But as it turns out, the driver is paid off by the government to take the two to St. James' Palace. Oops. So maybe things aren't going as successfully as planned, but at least the two are back together drinking some good old rum!

Once the carriage stops, the two thinks that they're safe and happily come out of the carriage. But then they realize they are about as far from being safe of the Royal Navy as possible. They're surrounded by about fifty British soldiers. Gibbs: "All part of the plan, yes?" Jack: "No." Awkward...