Musings and stories from a 40-something year old slut newbie

Oh…Orgasms

The reason I started this blog, in large part, is because I think sex is still too off limits for real discussion – what people do, what they desire, what they enjoy…no one talks about! And sex is fun and enjoyable for a lot of people (if someone doesn’t enjoy sex or has no interest, that’s cool too…). Anyway, I was asked by a friend, who is younger and less experienced, about orgasms during intercourse. That got me talking to her about the 3 different types of orgasms I know I can have and kind of the mechanics of them for me. Everyone is obviously different and what works for me may not work for someone else. But I thought I’d put it out there what works for me and, to the extent I have the mechanics really figured out, what those are. By no means do I think I’m an expert, but I definitely know I know a lot more about achieving orgasm than I did 10 years ago.

Orgasm Type 1 – Clitoral Orgasm: The clit orgasm is probably the easiest for most women to achieve and is probably the most familiar. As the name implies, clit stimulation is the key to the clitoral orgasm. One thing I only recently learned is that the clitoris isn’t just that little button that (I hope) most of us can identify. It goes beneath the surface and has a whole lot of nerves going on. This is a great lesson in clit anatomy: http://projects.huffingtonpost.com/projects/cliteracy/anatomy

So, basically this tells me that there is a whole lot of clit going on and it’s no surprise that some women apparently have very sensitive labia and surrounding areas. Anyway, I think “self-exploration” (i.e., masturbation) is key to finding out where you like stimulation, how you like stimulation, and what order you like stimulation. I seem to like a more generalized stimulation that eventually focuses on the button we all think of as the clit. Sometimes I don’t need much. Sometimes it can take awhile (like 20 minutes or more). The clit orgasm, to me, is that familiar, leg-twitching, intense building feeling. Sometimes I can’t take it continuing because it’s too intense, though backing off slightly and keeping it going can lead to even more pleasure.

Orgasm 2 – G-Spot Orgasm: I’m not here to debate the existence of the g-spot and I have no idea if everyone has it. I seem to have a spot on the front of my vagina, maybe half a finger length in (so not far) that is sort of raised and rougher than the rest of my vagina wall. I had one fabulous partner really walk me through it. So, he showed me that if he put pressure on it when I was aroused (he did that “come here” finger movement), it kind of felt like I needed to pee. Rather than clenching up, trying to hold it, he told me to do the opposite kegel – as I was feeling that pee sensation, I should think about opening up. Well, as soon as I did that, I squirted all over him. Now, I think squirting is hotter for the partner than it is for me. It’s kind of cool. And it is a release. But it doesn’t quite have the same type of pleasure as the other two orgasms. Since my increased awareness of this type of orgasm, I’ve found a lot of penetrative sex more enjoyable. When I start to feel that kind of tickly, “do I need to pee” feeling, I let go and open up instead of clenching up and things feel so much better. Sometimes I squirt. Sometimes I don’t. But it definitely increases pleasure.

Orgasm 3 – Dual Orgasm: I call it the dual orgasm because the clit and g-spot are both involved. I first discovered this one with a partner who used lube and digitally stimulated my clit while I was on top. And it was…intense. With this type of orgasm, I kind of feel like I’m going to pass out in the most intensively, enjoyable way possible. For me personally, I tend to have these types of orgasms most often while on top. Sometimes doggy style. And it’s also possible if clit stimulation is added to really intense fingering of my g-spot. I haven’t yet experienced this type of orgasms in any position with the guy on top. I’m going to guess that’s because in that position, his dick is pressing against the back side of my vagina more than the front. But possibly with a large enough dick, I’ll be able to get there.

So, there may be more types of orgasms that are totally different than these (I’ve seen a 4th type listed as multiple orgasms…but I don’t see that being of a different kind than these. These truly feel like just different kinds of orgasms to me). I’ve heard some women can have orgasms through anal stimulation alone. I haven’t found that, though it can add to any of these others and increase the pleasure. I also wonder if I can ever get to the point of just thinking my way to an orgasm – I had a friend once who claimed to be able to do that. So, that’s saying this list is by no means definite. And the logistics are specific to me.