Military Cartoon

Fans of funny military cartoons and Pentagon jokes will let down their defense long enough to salute the laughs coming from this General Military Cartoon.

ZOMBIE NEWS CLIPS FROM THE TOMB OF THE UNREAL — MILITARY MADNESS

1989

USAF PUTS FOWL BALL IN PLAY

The US Air Force unveils its Bird Avoidance Model, a computerized tool designed to reduce aircraft-bird collisions. In a supposedly unrelated action, the Air Force removes Jet-Roasted Goose from all cafeteria menus.

1995

LUNAR OBIT-ER

The Pentagon trumpets the success of Clementine, a moon probe constructed using technologies developed under the "Star Wars" space-based missile defense program. At the press conference, dozens of moon photos transmitted by Clementine are displayed, including one with the words "WE SURRENDER" spelled out in moon rocks.

2006

DEFENSE FIRMS UNDER THE GUN

Congress lashes out at defense contractors who overbilled the military for unprovided services, inappropriate travel expenses, and overpriced supplies. After a hearing on the subject, one particularly irate Senator tells reporters, "These firms are out of line. They must be taught that wasting taxpayers' money is the sole purview of Congress."

THE EVER-POPULAR TORTURED SEGUE CM

US AND THEM—THE FOREIGN REPORT:

— 1996 — MISSION: IMPLAUSIBLE —
A US Navy A-6E Intruder aircraft participating in joint military
exercises with Japan is shot down by the Japanese navy. Japan explains
that their weapons chief mistakenly hit the A-6E while shooting at the
target drone the US plane was towing. As punishment, Japanese officials
give the weapons officer a penance of saying three "Hail Yamamotos."

— 2002 — ON KIM JUNG-IL'S "RADAR"—
North Korea once again steps up their activities in the demilitarized zone. A spokesman for the North Korean government said, "We don't really want to start a war, but we'll do it if it's the only way you'll do some new episodes of 'M*A*S*H.' "

— 2009 — AND BEYOND ....
For the present and future, we're
advising everyone to limit their

consumption of "fake news" to cartoons and joke pages. That means no longer relying on the hopelessly uninformative, under-done and over-spun mainstream media. Grinning Planet's weekly MP3 news service is a good place to start your quest for truthful news.

"Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?"

— George Wallace

"We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'"

— Elayne Boosler

"When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship."

— Dick Gregory

"My rule is: If you meet the weakest vessel, attack. If it is a vessel equal to yours, attack. And if it is stronger than yours, also attack."