Tuesday, February 27, 2007

So. Enough is enough. SJM swears its a Bay area thing. Personally, I think it might be an age thing. Whatever it is - I'm done with people flaking on me. A number of behaviors fall into this rubric. They include:

Never RSVPng to invites

RSVPng indicating attendance, and then not showing up

Calling and canceling shortly before we were to meet up

Being consistently late (more than 15-20 minutes)

Not getting in touch to firm up tentative plans when the ball is in your court

Because I am done with this behavior* - I am launching Operation Head & Shoulders. Part of the reason that flaking has become so acceptable in this area/age group (depending on your point of view) is that so many people do it - it's like it's not rude any more. Well, I still think it is. So, from now on, when people flake, one of two things will happen. The first time (or when I start to notice a pattern), I will call them out on the flaking. "Calling someone out" involves pointing out that they flaked, and that the onus is on them to make plans next time. The second time someone flakes, well - no more invites.

This goes against my very ethos: invite everyone to every thing. But, there you have it, my attempt to reduce or eliminate flakes.

* This isn't to say that all cancellations etc. are unforgivable. Occasionally, you get jammed at work, or traffic is a bear, or a friend from out of town suddenly plans a visit. Things happen, the question is whether it's a pattern of behavior.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Be grateful: I nearly wrote this post last night after my wine class (i.e. 1/2 a sheet to the wind.) But, I thought, "No! My readers (all four of them) deserve better! They deserve nouns and verbs. In the same sentence, even!"

Weekend update! (on Thursday, but hey - at least it's happening!)

I had an awesome weekend, and by awesome I mean I mostly did nothing, and a lot of it. Perfection.

Friday night, I took Jay-Z out for drinks to Iberia, a Spanish joint around the corner from chez moi, to celebrate her last day at work. The sangria there is fabulous, and strong! As we were leaving, I ran into a blog commenter! What's funny is that we met up once before .... at Iberia! We joked back and forth about "how come you didn't call me? I thought you had a good time on our date", etc., while her patient boyfriend rolled his eyes.

Saturday - nothing, with a side order of nothing. The big event of the day was making dinner for TBF. She is now 8 months pregnant and on bedrest, poor thing. We watched "Dazed and Confused" - how had I never seen that before?? There are such holes in my movie knowledge.

Sunday - I went to a few open houses in the city. I'm feeling a little ambivalent about whether I want to buy or not, but oddly, I really enjoy going to open houses now. I like learning a little more about the city, parking somewhere and walking around. Something I knew, but that I re-affirmed this weekend: if the listing says fixer-upper, it's a total disaster. "contractor's dream" = "buyer's nightmare." I was in the living room of the second open house when a woman and her husband walked in. We looked at each other and immediately started walking towards each other. It turns out she works for the same firm, but the SF office and we had met once months ago. We talked real estate for a little bit, and continued around the house.

Monday (bonus round, bitches!) I spent the morning in bed with "The Moor's Last Sigh." I've had a much harder time getting wrapped up in this Rushdie than the last, but I think I turned the corner. I finally pulled myself away and decided to hit the cafe. Yeah, noonish on a holiday with beautiful weather? Not a good time to hit the cafe. The cafe has a little sign about doubling up with "unmet friends" when necessary. I managed to suck it up and ask someone if I could share his table. I settled down, and reached into my backpack for the Moor ... only to come up empty-handed. Ick. I ended up chatting with my co-table occupant, poor thing. And it turned out to be a great conversation: we covered real estate, economics, studying languages , entrepreneurship, etc. Unmet friend, indeed.

I did next to nothing this weekend, and yet - every day had its own little coincidence, it's own unexpected conversation. And, sometimes, that's all you need.

Friday, February 16, 2007

She swirled the glass, allowing the burgundy to coat the sides of the glass. Tilting it away from her, she examined the color. Bringing it to her nose, she inhaled deeply and loudly. Then, finally a sip: the small explosion, then a flood of flavor, and finally the finish. She closed her eyes, savoring it.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

So, last weekend, I headed down to Hell-A to visit one of my favorite commenters (and incidentally, one of my best friends from college.) ILTSAE brings out ... the most obnoxious in me, and that is saying something. Once she came to visit me in DC and was greeted at the airport with a sign that said LOSER. I did it because I knew she would have to walk up to me if she wanted a ride home, or a bed to sleep in. Yeah, I'm a bitch.

Spending time with us must be a little taxing for others because we have so many inside stories (which we can summarize in pithy little comments: "that'll do for now", "not a drop in the bucket", etc.) Also, we are rapier-mean to each other (because, of course, we couldn't love each other more.)

The weekend was largely just chill, which I badly needed. After she picked me up, we wandered fabulous downtown Claremont in search of eats and then home to her cute little house. Saturday morning, I headed to Hollywoodland to meet up with J-money and Rooniefor brunch. Roonie and I then took it to the hills to walk it out. Um, if you're thinking of doing a little walking/hiking - pick a trail that doesn't have a stable nearby. Draw your own conclusions.

I drove back to Claremont and swore I would never drive again. My shins actually hurt from all of the stop-and-go. On a Saturday. We met up with some of ILTSAE's friends for fabulous, fabulous sushi. Mmmm. I even sang the sushi song ("Sushi! Sushi! Sushi! I made you out of fish." sung to the tune of "Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel" I'm so mature.) If you are in the area, let me recommend Rumblefish Sushi - the yum! Then - movie night! We watched one of my all-time favorite movies: "The Broken Hearts Club: A Gay Romantic Comedy" (shut up - it's friggin' fabulous! And Dean Cain! And Zach Braff (as a blonde)! And Justin Theroux!) I left "Bring it On" for ILTSAE to enjoy later. GO TOROS!

Sunday. Sunday was a little hard on me. Something I've been really working on is not starting the sulk while the weekend is still going on. I feel that seeing someone can make you realize how much you miss seeing them on a regular basis. Thanggod for cellphones and IM, etc., but there is something about hearing a friend's laugh in person and feeling the full force of their wit in person. I felt like I missed ILTSAE while I was still there, but thankfully - it's a very short flight away.

Friday, February 09, 2007

The splitting and splatting of the rain falling down the gutter spout induced sleepiness. Like a switch flipped, she could feel her eyelids lowering, and her brain putting itself into deep freeze. She was overtaken by an almost instinctual desire to curl up under something fluffy and lay her cheek against a cool, smooth pillow.

Running from Camera - a blog with photos of a guy ... running from the camera. [h/t Photojojo - part of my list of photography feeds. (Also available as a twice-weekly newsletter.) I mean - look at this post about the Monsterpod and Gorillapod! How cool! I'll start taking more and better pix soon, I promise!]

Sunday, February 04, 2007

A server swings by carrying Belgian waffles, topped with pecans and whipped butter, smelling like love.

A toddler smacks empty chairs with a flailing arm and grabs unsuspecting patrons around the knees, craning her neck back to look up the vast expanse of leg. Her mouth forms an "o" of confusion, these jeans are NOT attached to a familiar face!

A true Silicon Valley type conducts an interview over a banana nut muffin. Bits and pieces of his conversation float through the cafe: "valuation, term sheet, footprint, opportunity, roll-out."

A couple, dressed in sweats and ballcaps, drink their coffee. There is a tenseness to the skin under their eyes as they stare over each other's shoulders.

..........

The dichotomy between logic and emtion can be cavernous: you can logically analyze a situation, and it won't affect your emotional, gut reaction in the least (and vice versa.)

Recently, I've been feeling a little "woe is me." And I hate that shit. Feeling that way, and typing the words, I feel slightly disgusted with myself. I've kept most of it off of the blog, to the point of not writing, um, at all at times. I have covered some of it by writing positively - not so much to "whitewash" it, but (1) no one likes the whine and (2) to try to buck myself up by focusing on the positive.

I've fallen into a bad pattern of looking forward to things and being sorely disappointed. Big things and small. It's not the individual let-downs that are cause for concern, it's stringing the events together. Logically, I know the universe is not out to get me (and I feel silly even verbalising that thought), but emotionally? Yeah, that's a whole different thing. Life may indeed be not fair (and Logic accepts that), but Emotion? I'm here to tell you that Emotion throws a fit!

One of the truest things I've found is that you can always change direction and try something new. There's some famous quote-type thing like "Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting to get a different result." Something like that.

One suggested solution has been to lower expectations - but, friends, they are as low as I'm willing to let them go. (They could go lower, I'm sure, but at what point do you just stop getting out of bed in the morning?) The direction I want to try is to stop looking forward so much: to be in this precise moment, here and now. Not so much a lowering of expectations as ... no expectations at all.