10 Reasons My Husband Gave Me to Have a Baby

When
I was pregnant, I was freaked out. Terrified even. Yes, we had decided to have a baby, but
really, what were we thinking? Besides growing a little alien inside of me, an alien I was supposed to love, were there any benefits, I wondered?

Luckily, my husband was able to put everything in perspective. I mean,

Almost nightly I would ask
my husband, "Are you sure about this?" His reply would be, "Well, it's
a little late now isn't it?" I was not coping all that well with my
changing body and, truth be told, my pregnancies were rough. He tried to help me relax by telling me all the reasons we should
be happy to be having our baby. Here are some of the things he told me, and none had much to do with love or motherhood:

1. Soccer team

So
maybe you aren't into soccer. OK, pick your sport of choice. Soccer is king in
our house, so my husband went with that. He told me tales of how our unborn son
would one day be a professional soccer player (in Europe, where they pay well, of course). He'd set us up with a private jet to see all his games and also buy
us an island to vacation on whenever we wanted. Not sure how that will pan out
in the end, but we still have hope. My youngest is a left-footer.

Bah.
Soccer team. Who needs a soccer team when you could start creating your own
ninja squad? We may not be like "The Incredibles" in Pixar's film, but we could
still wear black and run around thwarting bad guys. I may have to do a bit more
yoga for all of this, but with our baby ninja in tow, we would be invincible.

Grandmas love to coo over babies. Use it to get to know a few locals.

3. Pirate brigade

Pillage
and plunder by bedtime, of course. When the ninja squad falls through, thanks to
my lack of yoga training and bendy jumping skills, we could be a pirate brigade.
Neither my husband nor I have ever driven a boat, and I haven't sailed since I
was a kid (even then, it was my dad doing the sailing).
Small matter though. Just think what a corset would do to my post pregnancy body
and posture. I'd look fabulous AND I'd get to carry a sword. We'd have to make
the baby the captain and just hope he figures it out, since we are clueless.
Nature vs. nurture on that one. Sorry, baby.

4. Comedy show

Have
you looked at a baby recently? They are hilarious. Those little smiles and
gurgles make you grin like an idiot. The poop face seals the deal, though. Just wait until they are older. I recently watched my boys do backflips
off the couch, over and over again, just because they had finally figured out how
to do it. And the stories. Oh, the stories kids come up with. They can keep me
laughing for hours.

5. Child labor

This
might take a few years to pan out, but if I don't have to do the dishes for the
rest of my life or scrub toilets, then it is worth it. I'm not saying the baby
will clean the whole house, but it sure would be nice to get a little help
taking out the trash.

6. Travel buddy

When
you travel, your child becomes an instant access point into the community you
are visiting. Take advantage. Grandmas love to coo over babies. Use it to get
to know a few locals. Hopefully, you will learn where the best meal in town is.

7. Halloween costumes

If you think a duet is a great way to get creative with your Halloween costumes, just
wait until you make it a trio. Mommy is a princess trapped in a tower (yes, the
cardboard tower would be built around me), while the ferocious dragon (baby) clings
to the walls to stop the evil knight (daddy) from rescuing her. Yes, the baby
would be strapped to me. Don't ask me how the logistics of all of this would
work. We still haven't figured it out, and my kids are walking and talking
already.

8. Insurance policy

Who was going to take care of us when we are old? Yup. That baby I was
carrying. Heir and a spare might be a little cruel, but in some ways it is
true. I don't want to count on the government to tell me how to be cared for in
my old age, I want my kids to make that decision if I can't. Hopefully, I have
raised them well, and they love me enough not to throw me into the cheap nursing
home down the street and run off with all my money though.

They remind us to look where we have forgotten to look when traveling.

9. Toys

After
having my first son, I quickly realized my husband had himself in mind when he offered up this reason. I'll admit, though, the toys today are pretty cool. LEGO has entire cities
and worlds you can build. Does my husband ask for more LEGO sets than my kids
now? It's probably a tie. Did we buy a massive wooden castle when a toy store
was going out of business and our baby was only 3 months old? Definitely. Did
it get set up right away? Of course.

When my husband came up with
this one, I thought he was crazy. Yes, I guess we would get to teach our baby
all of the wonderful things we know and mold him into an adorable little geek
and artist like the two of us. What we didn't know is that our sons would end
up being the teachers in many ways. They remind us to look where we have forgotten
to look when traveling. Because of them, we pause in our lives just to have some silly fun, no
matter how much we have to get done. Our kids helped us learn to really take life with a grain of
salt.

After all, a baby is the first to remind you that you have no control
over the world around you. You can't even get your own kid to sleep through the
night.