Friday, May 3, 2013

Live Blog - Nuggets-Warriors, Game 6.

The gang invited a special guest to live blog (most of) Game 6 from Oracle Arena. Below is the largely unedited transcript of our conversation, with parentheticals added to delineate critical events within the game.

Paul:
Well guys, welcome back to another exciting edition of the Volume Shooters live
blog! We've got a special guest with us tonight, resident Warriors fan William
"Frattin" Stratton Roberts. Bulls v. Nets however is still ongoing so
we're catching the end of it quickly. What say you all?

Jack:
DAVID LEEEEEEE

(For
reference, a TNT game break just showed David Lee warming up.)

Brian:
hey will!

(i'm
sitting next to him)

that's
so funny

Will:
regretting inviting me yet?

Jack:
I don't know if we get the same commercials or not, but I would like to say
that I hate the "Hopper" commercials with all the miniature crap.
"It's the same thing"...the hell it's not! I don't want a tiny ass
beer and one nacho!

Related...I
do like the AT&T commercials. I'm sorry, what's going on? The Bulls are
down 4 with 2:45 left?

Brian:
Resident Warriors fan Will can barely contain himself. Will Steph go for 40?
Can Andrew Bogut continue his resurgence? Can the Nuggets continue their dirty
play from game 5 with plenty of help from the refs? So many story lines!

Will:
Thanks for the invite guys! I have a number of opinions. I'm glad I have you in
my reach to share them. And probably have to reach the.

Read
*

Them *

Already Drunk.

Paul:
For the sake of my sanity' lets try to avoid any mention of the Nuggets
"dirty play" from game 5. I believe it was Faried that got both
open-field tackled and shoved in the neck in that game.

Will:
Well Paul we can definitely keep it to a minimum. At least if he stops diving
all over the place like greg leughenis (sp?)

Jack:
Will the more typos you have the harder this is going to be to edit. Don't be a
dick to whoever has to do that later...(cough Paul cough).

Jack:
Next thought...I'm calling Will "Stratton" from now on so no one gets
confused about whether or not I'm asking a question.

Brian:
This one could get chippy, folks. Anyway like Jack mentioned, the Bulls are
down 5 to the Nets with 2:30 to play.

Paul:
The Bulls are putting up a valiant effort tonight thus far despite having about
3.6 healthy players who aren't named Vladimir Radmonivic.

Will:
Am I wrong or are you only allowed to say that if you're Italian?

And
I mean super Italian? Like you have a sticker on your Fiat that says your other
car is a Fiat?

Jack:
Better than wearing a BMW shirt while you're driving a BMW. It's ok I can make
that joke because Jake Thompson will never read this. But ladies...beware.

Paul:
Looks like the Warriors game will be starting on NBA TV?

Jack:
…Paul just tricked me into seeing a preview for some terrible Will Smith movie.

Brian:
That's an oxymoron, bro

Jack:
You're right. if iRobot is your worst film, you did pretty darn good in life.

(Blatche hits two
free throws and the Nets go up 3 points.)

Paul:
I am effectively so anxious I can't see straight. Hopefully one of these teams
wins in regulation so we don't have to do double duty here.

Will:
Watching the Bulls game still. Apparently NBATv hasn't made it to the south? Who
wants to watch Andray Blatche?

(After running down
an offensive rebound with 6 seconds left, Noah pivots…and steps a full foot out
of bounds.)

Paul:
WOW...anticlimactic much?

Brian:
Freaking Noah. God he sucks.

(Noah forces a jump
ball with Deron Williams about 2 seconds later.)

Paul:
^Instant karma.

Will:
Deron Williams: "fuck if I'm jumping this"

Height
advantage --> Joaquim the Alien Noah

(Noah wins the tip…right
to Joe Johnson, who runs out the clock.)

Paul:
Every Bulls fan: "BOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOO!"

But
oh well. Its Western Conference time!

Will:
Pre-Warrior's game predictions: Kent Bazemore pulls his hip flexor in a
celebration

Jack:
Kevin Harlan is announcing. He has attractive daughters.

Can
I strike that from the record?

(TNT turns to Nuggets
coverage with Denver up 10-5 early on.)

Paul:
Looks like JaVale is making his mark early. Nugs with 6 ORBs

Jack:
Looks like every Warriors fan took 5 of the towels handed out at Nuggets games
and sewed them together to make a shirt.

Will:
"We believe!" Circa 07

(Draymond Green does
something.)

Jack:
Who's that guy!

Brian:
God they call a lot of moving screens against GSW.

Probably
because they suck at setting screens.

Paul:
Denver is probably the worst screening team of all time. On another note, the
Nugs have somehow awoken the inner Kraken of Draymond Green. Dude shot 35% from
the field this year and is killing us.

Will:
Draymond's been working on that jumper.

(David Lee, who tore
his hip flexor 11 days ago, goes to the scorer’s table. Karl quickly calls a
timeout to attempt to mute the crowd’s reaction to the David Lee appearance.
Jackson pulls him back and re-inserts him as soon as the game starts up again, nullifying
the effect of the timeout.)

Jack:
HA I am almost sure a camera man or fan just grabbed Corey Brewer after that
lay up.

Paul:
Reggie Miller: "This is Denver's most athletic team." Otherwise known
as "The Garbage shooters of the Mile High City"

(The chat experiences
technical difficulties.)

Brian
Sachtjen has left.

Jack:
Did Brian just go to bed? Cause that's where I'm headed...as the fun-employed member
of the group I have to be ready for my interviews!

Will
Roberts has left.

Paul:
...

Guys?

Buehler?

Jack:
Clowns. Alright I'm out. See you all later.

Jack
Peterson has left.

…

Paul:
After those brief technical difficulties, we're back.

Corey
Brewer clearly targeting Curry's ankles on that offensive foul.

Brian:
Not a bad strategy. They are made of paper mache after all

Paul:
You guys think David Lee comes back?

Brian:
Yes but with very limited minutes and effectiveness.

(Andre Miller strings
together 4 excruciating possessions in a row. Warriors trim an 11 point lead to
2.)

Paul:
(inappropriate Andre Miller comment redacted)

Brian:
hahahahahaha

Will:
what happened? I blacked out (I was on the phone with my girlfriend)

Paul: I'm
honestly flabbergasted the Nuggets are winning so far. Shooting 36% with Miller
as the leading shooter is a classic Denver move, but somehow we are outhustling
them at home. Doubt we can keep this up so we better start making some shots.

Will:
Ya this game is really tough to watch from a Warriors perspective. They're
hopin’ Steph catches fire and everyone’s shooting cautiously

Layups
layups layups. Thats the NBA playoffs baby.

(Refs make egregious
no-calls on both ends.)

Paul:
Hmmmmm

Refs
are about as awake as the Nuggets on offense.

Will:
Wow they are letting them play.

Paul:
Also, George Karl insists on going small and the Warriors luger him every time.
Same thing here.

Brian:
Hey, more importantly, did you know that Jason Segal backed up Jason Collins in
high school? And that apparently he could throw down like no one's business?

Paul:
That's certainly one of the funn-est facts of the Jason Collins story these
days

Brian:
Lawson has been the victim of at least 5 2nd degree assaults this half.
Probably 1 of which was called a foul

Will:
*Insert San Francisco Skyline for Game in Oakland*

Will:
Oakland is the Hood

Paul:
If the game stays this close I am about to need the stiffest of beverages. I
can barely type coherently as it is.

Brian:
I'll give you the stiffest of beverages

Paul:
I think the refs were replaced with random number generators.

"3
seconds on Denver!" "But Golden State was on offense!"
"Flagrant foul!"

Will:
Take that shot Jarrett Jack. Running for a sprint floaters aren't the ticket.

(JaVale gets an
offensive rebound and a steal on consecutive plays, Nuggets score. Refs follow
with an absurd offensive foul on Bogut.)

Will:
JaVale with the heads up hands.

Paul:
JaVale with an enormous two hustle plays right there

"Offensive
foul on Bogut!"

Will:
BOY. That's a what?

Paul:
Makeup call coming in 3...2...

Will:
How much does you think Stern will pay a ref for a game 7? Over under at 6
figures?

Paul:
Man, Brewer is hot and cold

When
he's good, he's really good. When he's bad, he's brutal.

Brian:
Man, I was expecting a much more high scoring half. Over under 200 points
combined for the game?

(Down only 9, the
Nuggets choose not to hold for the last shot. Brewer’s 3 gets wedged between
the rim and backboard.)

Paul:
Definition Corey Brewer.

(Nuggets win the jump
ball, Brewer bricks another 3 then fouls Jarrett Jack 85 feet from his own
basket with .8 seconds on the clock.)

Paul: Sweet Jesus.

Brian:
No, THAT was definition corey brewer

Will:
I helped a couple kids get a ball unstuck from the rim the other day. I have to
imagine they didn't need me help there tonight.

Major
shout out to Oakland: there can't be any team that would want to play the warriors
there for a series dependent game. They are loud.

Paul:
Well...anybody think Denver still has a chance?

Will:
I can't answer that question. I defer to you Brian.

Brian:
Chance? yes

I
rescind my answer after that Andre Miller 3

Will:
A shot clock violation has to be the most bush-league of all nba violations.

Maybe
only outdone by the tech from calling a timeout when you have none

(Warriors begin what
looks like it will be a game-deciding 7-0 run.)

Paul:
Nuggets 1/11 on 3s in the second half. That Corey Brewer 3 was basically the
most Nuggets play of all time.

Will:
Draymond can’t quite complete the follow up tip-in aka the Will Roberts special

Paul:
Well, game over. Allow me a quick bitchy rant before I spare myself the next 9
minutes and to go sleep

Will:
Ha, go

Brian:
I'm all ears (fires up youjizz)

Paul:
1. Everybody is going to say this is evidence you can't win a title without a
superstar. This is false. You can't win a title if you have no superstar AND
your team is one of the 5 worst shooting teams in the NBA.

2.
As much as I enjoyed watching George Karl's offense, his rotations are
absolutely mystifying and have been that way all year. There is no reason why
Koufus should have played this whole half while Javale played 3 mins and then
got benched. (Ed.’s Note: Koufus was -21
for the game. The rest of the Nuggets as a team were +1. JaVale was +8.)

Will:
Brian, want to go to Wendy's

?

Brian:
Honey, you think KFC's still open?

Paul:
3. Mark Jackson is a pretty damn good coach but he also comes off as being
extremely full of himself, which I dislike. He pulled some shenanigans this
series which didn't really work at all, and was bailed out by Curry shooting up
to his full potential.

Will:
I know Taco Bell is

Open
Late, remember?

Paul:
4. This Nuggets team deserves another chance to make a run at a title. Really
took the wind out of our sails when Gallinari got hurt, Faried got hurt, and we
played the spiciest shooting team ever in round 1 (the same type of teams that
have killed Denver all year).

and
5. It is objectively terrifying to root against Steph Curry, at any time, ever.
Here's hoping I never have to do it again.

Paul:
So there you have it. R.I.P. the best regular season team in Denver Nugget
history. I'm out boys, enjoy the rest of the game.

(Ed.’s note: Paul’s
dramatic departure from the chat spurred a 13-0 Nuggets run, which would
eventually fizzle when the ball was mysteriously called out of bounds with 11
seconds left and immediately before a Faried game-tying dunk. Much rejoicing in
Oakland, many tears in Denver, and I will now light myself on fire.)

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Volume Shooter in the Spotlight: January 8, 2014

What happens when your team's second best player goes down with a serious knee injury? If your team's best player is Kevin Durant, it means this: all your shotz are belong to Kevin Durant. Durant put up a Kobe-esque 34 attempts last night (13 coming from distance), but maintained excellent effeciency by scoring 48 points, all the while committing ZERO TURNOVERS. He may be able to put up shots with the best of them, but Durant uses his powers for good rather than evil.

Sometimes, I don't know why defenses even try.

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