last night was my first ballet class without jared (BYE JARED! come home anytime and we can resume our very important book club) and the teacher asked me if he 'got off to chicago ok' and when i said 'yes he did' she said 'aw that's sad the bobbsey twins are seperated'. so today i looked up bobbsey twins and gosh darn it she's right, they're just like us.

the series should actually be called the bobbsey twinseses though because there are two pairs of twins.

jared and i are totally the ones called 'freddie and flossie' who are the younger and more unruly of the siblings. we decided that today over an urgent string of emails on the matter.

thank you for lending me this book. it broke my heart about twelve hundred times but then it mended it back up with beautifully detailed bandaids and now i feel i'm wiser for the breaking and the mending.

today for the first time i noticed that there's a line of crows sitting on the ledge of the mirrored office building across from work who (all day) have been flapping and waltzing and sauntering and presenting themselves to themselves in the mirror.they seem so totally unaware of their colleagues equally hilarious and wasted efforts, they just keep flapping and flapping and hopping and at least i know now that no matter what may come i certainly am smarter than a crow.(minus all those times i tried to court myself in the bedroom mirror by jumping and flapping).

how come some people stare and it's creepy and others stare and you're like guh-uh-mmm-eeeeee-hi-uhhhhhh-howoldareyouagain?today when i took my earthly love for burgers and beers he said to me 'based on your recent comments i wonder who you really want to marry' HAHAHAHAHAH aw that's cute. and of course it's you jeremy. now just grow your hair and style it all crazy on top of your head.

i can't stop laughing at thisvideo. also it's 20 seconds so if you watch it fifty five times in a row that's still only like 5 minutes of your day. or an hour? i can't do math. anyways the more you watch it the more you laugh and the more you laugh the better you feel so let's eat beans for every meal.

jeremy and i went for a lovely spring walk today on the kay gardiner beltline trail which is a nature path in the middle (belt, get it?!) of toronto which some woman created where a railroad used to be so people could escape the city within the city. that kay sounds like my kinda lady.

what is it about spring that cleans the cobwebs out of our heads? makes us see things more clearly? beats back the darkness with its hopeful rays of warmth and light?

this spring we say goodbye to our little stephie pants which is sad for us but exciting and promise filled for her and don't we all want our children to grow up and do things that makes them most happy? i still am not sure how it is that my daughter got to be 30 before me. she's always been very mature for her age.

come home if ryan doesn't feed you properly! make sure you take your vitamins! look both ways! wear your seat belt! don't forget what we told you about strangers with candy! (unless it's cinnamon lips then send jeremy some).

i've gone off track, but maybe that's the point of spring? we don't have to stick to the narrowly snow shovelled sidewalks anymore. there are no more 3 feet snow banks to narrow us in. we can walk off the path and smell the flowers and step in the mud and hold hands without mittens. we are free! we've made it!

jeremy has a really good idea that has to do with peoples' childhood stuffed animals that is TOP SECRET cause it might be our ticket out of the mundane and into a life of bejewelled toilet seats and first class weekend tickets to london for tea.

it's neat to see what remnants of their childhood people decide to keep. lots or nothing. i have a few and i'd have more if i didn't love so much the simpleness of getting rid of all things that i could live without.

what i can't live without is my bear with no name, a sleepy turtle, a friendly blanket, a travelling mole with glasses and a shark puppet for when i'm sick.

i loved that velveteen rabbit book. that conversation the horse and the bunny had about being real was so touching and poignant. it's like all the important messages are in the things of our youth and we forget them and think more important messages must exist in the adult world of things. but i think only more confusing messages live here.

it's like those posters that say 'everything in life i learned in kindergarten' i want to make one that says 'everything worth knowing i've told bear with no name'

sometimes i wish i was a bat and could hang upside down by my toes on the side of a tree or a monkey bar and all my troubles would fall out of my head through my ears and i wouldn't have anything to worry about other than hanging on when a stiff breeze came.

yeah i'm absolutely positive about a few things myself. like this book/movie series is meant for 14 year olds and i love them anyways. and robert pattinson as edward cullen is an undead dreamboat.

jeremy pointed him out on the front of this month's GQ and while it was tempting to buy, stick up on my wall and kiss until the mouth wore off, i withheld. mainly because he wasn't made up how i like him; pale faced and sullen.

i just realized cullen and sullen rhyme. coincidence? probably.

but what the books/movie lack in clever adult writing they make up for in a perfectly stubborn representation of addictive teenage (vampire) love. or lack there of. WHEN DO THESE TWO GET BUSY ANYWAYS?! oh wait i remember not until the last book. maybe the movies will move that action up a titch knowing that sex will sell more than just collectors edition twilight popcorn buckets.

until then i'll be over in the meadow with edward gazing into each others eyes through which we will be reading one anothers souls.

michael jackson (or his people) sent me an email this afternoon asking me to suggest my 'ideal set list' for the concerts and BOY did i jump all over that task with enthusiastic vigour.

if i got paid to do this sort of thing, i would probably tell my employers i'd be glad to work over time and not to worry about any sort of extra pay. christmas holidays? who needs em. maternity leave? that's for wimps. and i'd like to go ahead and forfeit my weekends if you'll let me be in charge of all future michael jackson playlist creations.

honestly that number 25 has been my dream michael jackson closing concert song since i could dream of michael jackson closing songs. BIG FINISH! jeremy says not very many people will have lighters to sway back and forth so i'm considering bringing lots for everyone cause that's really part of the dream and i won't have the audience or their crazy healthy non smoking habits ruining that for me.

lily got a new camera for christmas and she's been taking the most beautiful photos of her most beautiful babe.

look at those eyeballs!

are baby eyeballs the same as adult eyeballs or do eyeballs grow? mature? go through an uncomfortable puberty stage where they always want to stay out late and eat bags of cool ranch doritos?

also interesting to think about is how lily made these eyeballs when sophie was brewing inside of her. what a remarkable feat. thinking about how women's bodies can make other little bodies (with the help of their man's body) is like thinking about stars and the bigness of the universe. it's equally as baffling (and awe inspiring) to me.

when i was 12 i had a subscription to ducks unlimited magazine which i thought was a conservation organization dedicated to making duck habitats better which it kinda is but it's also for the conservation of ducks for duck hunting.

upon realizing my error in judgement i revoked my membership, (and hand sewn member badge) and wondered how the gun and bullet advertisements hadn't tipped me off sooner.

maybe i thought they were for ducks who were into clay shooting? which is silly cause how would a duck even pull the gun trigger. come to think of it how do ducks do anything that requires the use of hands? like who cuts their steak up? ties their shoes? writes their notes so their duck children can get out of gym class?

poor poor ducks. i don't think people should shoot them i think they should offer to help them to button up their shirts.

it's like the opening act to all the other best times of year. all the birds are warming up their vocals for the big number. all the trees are in dress rehearsal. the mud and earth and grass are working hard to get in shape. the air smells of new.

and the audience waits.

i love you spring. i know to some you are the understudy of summer but after the show when everyone lines up for summers autograph i'll wait in line for yours. to me you are hope and life and earthworms. robins and blue skies. sun past 4 pm. no more winter coats. no more winter boots. SPRING HAS SPRUNG! and i have sprung also. like a tulip but with a less yellow head.

since i've pretty much been full tilt into fantasy land reading/viewing/living lately i thought it might be good for the normal side of my brain to read something that lives more in the world of reality and i picked 'the god of small things' cause some people say it's good and i'm just.loving.it.

it's beautifully written and smart and rich in detail and history and funny and heartbreaking and i don't want to liken it to something cause its really it's own creature but if i must i would say a tad like kite runner but really better even. more vivid. alive.

last night i was reading the reviews for it, (which jeremy always makes a funny face about cause he thinks i'm going to find out things i shouldn't), and everyone was saying good things and using words like 'magical' and 'indelible' and i'm not even really sure what that last word means but it sounds clever and cheeky. like all the sentences in this book.

it's weird that gmail suggests things in that little column beside your email based on what you type, don't you think?

like gmail obviously now knows i like to talk about vampires, cottages, and ice cream trucks. but i guess everyone really knows those things about me so maybe gmail is just mildy intuitive rather than weirdly stalkerish.

ICE CREAM TRUCKS!!

always when i buy things from one i'm expecting to see a man from the olden days wearing one of those ice cream man hats but usually it's a guy with blue jeans and a fanny pack which i find disappointing.

not that there's anything wrong with fanny packs if you're an ice cream man it's probably a really efficient way to deal with all your change i just wish more things were like how they are in the land of my imagination.

today i spent my lunch on a bench in the park at the end of the road near my work and i think people who are considering or currently taking therapy should stick themselves on a similar bench on a similar day and let that sunshine soak through to your bones and then see how you feel cause i feel like a thousand million more bucks than how i felt earlier today which probably wasn't enough to buy a donut with or if it was i definitely wouldn't have been given any change back.

THE SUN! the sun. stephanie perkins said one time that when you close your eyes and look up at the sun it could be the sun from anywhere (costa rica) cause it is that same sun after all and it only takes you to stand still and let it in to realize it.

also my ring loves the sun which it shows by sparkling more than usual which everyone knows is how rings show that they are happy.

one night last week my engagement ring had to spend all night in this little dish that's over the kitchen sink rather than its usual little dish beside my bed cause i forgot it there and i wonder if it had been able to sleep ok or if it was restless due to its unfamiliar surroundings?

i bet those goose cups did their best to make it feel welcome though. after all, goose cups typically have very nurturing personalities.

today we bought a pineapple from costa rica from the grocery store cause we loved costa rica and thought it would be nice to bring home a food item from there to hang out with.

so far today we've played some cards, lazed around on the couch, watched jeremy play his new video game. . . it's been fun!

for dinner, pineapple suggested a really nice light summery meal (bbq'd chicken and chick pea cucumber salad) during which pineapple regaled us with the tale of how he got here, starting with when he left his beautiful native land to how he ended up at the loblaws at bathurst and st clair. we have thoroughly enjoyed having pineapple as an afternoon house guest!

i can't wait to thoroughly enjoy pineapple even more when jeremy slices him up and grills him for dessert.

i'm going to really miss steph's apartment. it's so sweet and homey and enveloping and i've spilled lots of things in it like i do here all the time which might be a weird territory marking thing.

maybe i can make friends with the new tenant and aggressively suggest decorating tips! oh no no the chair does not go there it goes in this corner. and the big painting looks best over the couch. and your stereo needs to go under the window cause that makes the most sense spatially and by the way do you know how to make cheese dreams?

le pain de quotidien or 'daily bread' if your une francais personne is an adorable chain that has breakfast and lunch and dinner and pastries so wonderful you want to date them and eat them in equal parts.

LOOK HOW CUTE!

the wild mushroom omelette i had there last time we went was tres magnifique. and when you order coffee you get your own pot of a dark organic variety and a little ceramic bowl to drink it out of.

also this little man came out of the kitchen and over to our table and gave us samples of a delicious broccoli soup he just invented that he wanted our opinion on and i really felt like we were having a total dining experience.

i think you should go there and try out all the different jams that come on your table. that's a really fun part. and you get to spread them on the tastiest toast points that ever there was with all different kinds of grains and seeds and oh mama i'm going to bed now so i can wake up and eat there.

thank you to steph for your ever enthusiasm and diligent forwards of all pass code updates. also thank you for taking me to that mj tribute band that one time that was really a wonderful night of music and dancing.

thank you to lily who got a pass code and forwarded it to me at 6 am and thank you to sophie for waking lily up early so she noticed the pass code in her email. even though you're a baby soph, you really seemed to understand the urgency of this matter.

the biggest thank you goes to my love jeremy for getting up at 3 am last night with me to try for tickets, for continuing to try past 5 am when i'd passed out on the couch, for calling me today from work when you were buying seats so i could scream when you hit 'confirm' and for giving up our dreams of ever owning a home so we could afford to go. you like tents anyways, right?lastly, thank you to all my family and pals who are not mentioned here by name who in their own way always support my teenie obsession with the king of pop. i will remember you all on february 20, 2010 when i'm dancing/screaming/living my heart out in the FRONT ROW of the london 02 arena.ROCK. EFFIN. ON.I. ALMOST. SWORE.BLAME IT. ON THE. BOOGIE.

but more on that later.I CAN ONLY HANDLE SO MUCH OF THIS!haha just kidding. when people move away i always think 'great, now i have a place to stay when i want to go to [insert place here]'.which is a wonderful, accepting, freeloading way to think.

our bathroom had a little impromptu reno work done this week when the downstairs neighbours complained that our tub was leaking down into their apartment. what i say first to that complaint is HA that is your punishment for blasting red hot chili peppers every other night at 3 am and what i say second to that is i can hardly wait for us to have our own place and do our very own renovations.

i think it will be special to take something and make it into something else with our own hands. and plaster.

jeremy is really clever when it comes to fixing things and i think he'll be a natural renovator and i'll be a natural at telling him he's doing a good job and making him sandwiches and putting them into one of those tin construction worker lunch pails.

don't listen to the garbage that the michael jackson concerts have already sold out cause i have been mama se mama sa mama ma cu sa-ing since i could walk and i know the universe is going to throw me a bone here when i try to get general tickets on friday i can just FEEL it in my glittery socks.

lately i've really been thinking about what i want to do with my life. i mean i know i want to be with jeremy and make him happy and be a wife and one day a mom and be a good friend to my pals and a good sister and daughter and granddaughter and so on and what have you but i mean what do i want to DO. to contribute. to add to the world. and i know it's not sit at a desk all day and i know it's not spend a thousand hundred more dollars on school and i know it's something i can get behind morally and ethically and i know i want to always be mindful of my existence as part of the earth not separate from it and i know i want to be creative and expressive and i think for now, that's enough things to know.

so my new plan is to keep doing what i'm doing, filling my life with the things i love, having faith (in michael jackson tickets and other karmic finger pointings) and not stressing out about lacking a career plan. it will come. and if it doesn't, then i can always rent 'the secret' from blockbuster.

steph is leaving me for a terrific boy (i'll admit when i'm defeated) and though i'll be sad to see her go and sadder to know the distance between her and i will no longer be the underground path past the laundry room, i'm overwhelmed with happiness for her. you know when you're going along and you think you're living your life and then something else happens and your life REALLY begins? yeah that's her right now. and it's hard not to say DON'T GO and staple her to her adorable apartment floor but that's not what friendship is about. in truth it's about letting go. and knowing no one will be as cool as me in red rock.

has everyone tried these vitamin waters? they're good. my ballet teacher always has the lemonade one and i thought i'd try it cause she seems to know what she's doing most of the time and it's tasty! and has vitamins. and even if you don't know what you want to do with your life and your bathroom is being re-tiled and one of your best friends is moving to the north pole - at least you'll have one hell of an immune system.

tonight the two of us went to some place that served us all this tasty stuff on a wooden board. like olives and cheeses and pickled eggplant and grilled red pepper and we talked about life and hair and scary bachelor party novelty cups and the economy and sometimes when i look at her i want to put her in my purse and never let her out but just leave the flap open a tad so she doesn't suffocate. and maybe stick a straw in there and feed her grape juice.

best friends make a drizzly tuesday feel more like a friday with clear blue skies and those big poofy white clouds that angels with harps love to loiter on.

the website of the cottage we'll be staying at for our honeymoon updated their header photo to this fairy tale wonderland and BOY how it delights me!

if this is how it actually looks driving up to the place, we're not ever coming back and i hope you'll all come visit us in utopia. oh you don't need to bring anything, everything you'll need grows on trees in the backyard.

barbie turned 50 today! or yesterday or last year i'm not really clear on the specifics and it might be one of those things where when a girl gets older she keeps celebrating her same age but anyways, happy birthday oh ye of permanently arched and impossibly small feet!

my favourite barbie was named peaches and cream and she had a beautiful peach coloured ballroom chiffon gown with a matching peach chiffon scarf thing and diamonelle earrings and the bodice of the gown was like all opalescent and sequined and if there's one thing you can say about barbie it's that she really knows how to dress up for an 80's ball.

so the deal with signing up for pre-sale of these tickets is that you're not guaranteed to be emailed a pin number so the more times you register the more chances you have to get sent one but there in lies the catch as you can only register once so if everyone who doesn't love michael jackson like i do could just register and then send me the pin if you get one i promise to give you the following:1) a full length reenactment of the concert after i go2) some sort of concert paraphernalia like a button or a t-shirt. i'm sorry in advance if i use the t-shirt to mop up my michael jackson hysteria tears and manic dancing sweat.

michael jackson has announced he's going to play 10 concerts this summer in london's O2 arena. i bet london's O2 arena has fainted from the news and has had to be carried off by a giant arena sized stretcher.

sometimes house descriptions are like erotic fiction except instead of 'heaving bosoms' they use words like 'wrap around porch' and 'great view of the mountains'.

I'M LOOKING TO RELAX AND ENJOY THE BEAUTY OF THE LAKES DISTRICT! what a coincidence!!

my dream home has a river in the backyard cause my childhood home had one and don't we all just want to get back to when we were kids making mud cakes by the river in our mothers' good tupperware? i think so.

i love things that are nestled in things. like our goose measuring cups. and this house nestled in this meadow. i wonder if you can tell your real estate agent you're looking for something that hobbits would live in (but with bigger doorways).

maybe it's because i'm going to get married and have a wedding of my own in october (FKLJLAFSKJKLFSLFSFLJLNFHFHF!!!!!!) but i just can't stop looking at pictures of other people's beautiful weddings.

all of these are from this sitei told you about before and maybe there are other sites like this but i tend to be fairly loyal to my obsessions.

why are giant trees so wonderful? because they're giant? and old? and seem to know things that we don't? the only trees that i know of that aren't very nice are those ones in the wizard of oz that throw apples at people.

this tree doesn't look like it throws anything ever. it just looks like it wants to scoop up everyone in it's warm and loving branchy embrace.

this invitation was made by the bride, using a print of a dried flower that her groom had given her on their first date. that is so cute i want to stick myself into one of those adorable bottles and stay there until i dry out and she can use me for an invitation to something else.

this wedding was a pot luck which is a genius idea that steph and jeremy also came up with last night at the bus stop. so smart! i bet wedding leftovers could feed you for your whole honeymoon.

i know everyone has different ideas of what would constitute a magical wedding day but for me, it definitely would include tree climbing. maybe someone can make me a bride pulley system where by i sit on a seat and get hoisted up into the branches so i can get up there without ripping something lacy and expensive.

i wonder if you can register for one of those?

i love this so much i'm totally going to lean on jeremy or hug jeremy or sit on jeremy's shoulders for the whole ceremony. or if the officiant makes us do that thing where we hold hands and stand a metre apart from each other i'm going to ask that my guests do the limbo underneath of our arms.

this is nice because candles are very romantic and also this reminds me of that music video with michael jackson and lisa marie presley. probably not the intention of this couple but a positive aside i'd say.

these people are my favourite strangers in the history of me loving strangers from this site.

i love her dress (it's actually a skirt, top and sweater) and i love her face and i love her dancing pose in this above picture.

on the website you can read more about their wedding and you should cause it's gorgeous sounding like when the ceremony started all the guests and he and she walked through the woods down to the river and these singers and some guy on an accordion or something sang 'we walked down to the river to pray'.

like wowsa bowsa creative people are just so wonderful aren't they? it makes me happy to know that they find each other. unless this groom was like 'your ideas are nuts i wanted to wear a cummerbund' but that seems unlikely.

ooof beautiful. she's beautiful. that dress/skirt/whatever is so beautiful. LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL.

THE END!

i wonder if anyone who walks off into the sunset ever has a desire to turn back but feels trapped by the romanticism of it to just keep going?

well i know i'm not going to walk off into the sunset until way after i've had my dessert.