Come chill with me….

Archive for the ‘Random Thoughts’ Category

Its Tuesday and im just now getting around to posting on my blog. The weekend was pretty cool, It started off with going to my moms church to hang with her youth department, reminded me why i need not have kids right now. Friday was super fun had a blast at the java exchange cafe, hearing spoken word, and some gospel rap. It was really cool meeting all the new people and just being in an environment that wasn’t club related. Saturday I slept and Sunday I hung with my fam and we had a ball.

But this post isn’t about my weekend its about something I discovered while you guessed it “reading”. The book was talking about how we don’t do enough to benefit ourselves. Now you probably thinking isn’t that selfish? well not what I am talking about. What I mean by it, is to do things that actually enhance your life or intend to at some point. An example that was given was cable tv that never gets watched and how you could put the 50 or 80 bucks to better use. Now im not even talking about a dave book so don’t trip lol. But when we get rid of things that aren’t really helping (but not really hurting you either), it allows room for things that actually do HELP.

I figured out something I was holding on to, that for a few reasons I hadn’t exactly “let go” either from laziness or just the simple fact that I was delusional about the potential of this “thing”. Today I started to think about what could happen if i let it go and WOW!!! its a lot…..

Sometimes we get used to doing things out of habit or justifying them just because its a part of life and not realizing where we could improve because of something in the way. Not really talking about cable so much but think about a person that keeps you down, or a bad habit that you can’t kick, or an item that you know could be beneficial to another person but you just won’t let it go. I am rambling but my point is successful people don’t hold on to clutter, if something is weighin them down they get rid of it in order to work on the things that DO keep us moving in the right direction. We all want to be successful in life and we all could name a few things that keep us from focusing 100% on our goal. So im gonna get rid of my “thing” and make room for more prosperous things to take place, what are YOU gonna do???

I was layin in my bed (napping) earlier today and this guy popped up in my head which he so often does. I thought to myself, “why can’t I get him off my brain?” Then I started to answer my question and thought maybe if I wrote it down I could also figure out a way to let it go at the same time. So lets see if it works…..

1. You by far are the finest man I have ever met in my entire life. My best friend thinks your “not hot” But for some reason you come off as the best thing since sliced bread. Maybe its your eyes, maybe its how you walk, or how you dress could be that you look like a tall drink of water to me. I haven’t met any man to date that compares and I really should let it go…..

2. The sex was the greatest of all time. I shouldn’t let you know that because it only seems to fuel your ego and send you on an “im the greatest” rampage that last for months on end and leaves you to forget about me until its time for you to be “Stroked yet again”. Maybe I should just let it go……

3. Your arrogance, evasiveness, and nonchalant attitude kept me intrigued. I dunno why, but I always thought I could just break the barrier that you held so tough and I would “win”. Maybe it was no such thing and you just weren’t that into me, I read way to much into it and I need to let it go……

4. Your an ass and I liked it. Nothing about you (in my opinion) is nice. You pretend that your a people person and want everything to be right with the world. But your selfish and you don’t even notice it. You play victim in almost every case and refuse to believe that maybe you yes you could be the problem. Yep its time to let it go……

5. You liked to be loved by many and thrive on the fact that women hang off your nuts. You don’t lead people on true, but you have a way of making “us” believe that sometimes its more than it really is, and you feed into their thoughts by hanging on just enough for them to stick around. Really gotta let it go….

Yea So I wasn’t feeling like going to work today, so called in dead, I mean sick. I am gonna chill out finish reading “double platinum” stalk blogs and take long naps. Yep this is the life, I kinda wish everyday could be this way except I’m on a tropical island sippin cosmopolitans and winkin at sexy men walking past me on the beach.

Oh and this jam of the week Algebra called “Run and Hide” I really feel like this some days…..

Recently I was having a discussion with “D” about education and how important it is to “get that paper” After the conversation was over I really wondered if I tend to be bitter towards those privileged to have gone on to higher education. The answer is yes I am to a certain point. I have a problem when people act like college is the end all be all to success in life.

Those of you that aren’t aware (as if you can or can’t tell by how I write) I do not REPEAT I do NOT have a college degree. At this particular stage in life I have no intentions on finishing college and I will tell you why later on in this post.

During my conversation with “D” he pointed out that you won’t find to many educated black men dating a woman that has less than he does, yet I know A lot of educated women that do just the opposite all the time which is puzzling. Most of my adult life I have dated men with Degree’s and so far most of them have been not to my liking but I still find myself gravitating towards them not because they finished college but because they actually work and make a decent living as do I (for where I live), I really don’t discriminate it just always happens like that. I don’t believe that my lack of a degree makes me any less than a woman because I find men all the time that enjoy my conversation and probably wouldn’t know I didn’t posses a degree had I not told them. I do find that when it comes to long term, men tend to shy away from me and one of my fears was because I didn’t/don’t have a degree but the fear has past mostly because education doesn’t trump over cheaters, liers, jerks, and idiots which a lot of educated and non educated men seem to be these days.

I am an advocate of higher education. I believe one needs it to gain some type of meaningful employment and in most cases you really can’t survive on minimum wage these days. Further more I will tell my future children that skipping college is not an option because its always better to be over qualified than under and I wan’t them to have the best opportunities. What I will not let them believe is that having a piece of paper makes you so called “better” than the average joe. I want them to know there is more to life than corporate america and to really make it out there you gotta make your own money. I don’t want them thinking that just because they have a degree in art history some how entitles them to a better life and more money. You still have to get along with people, you still have to get to work on time, out perform your pers, play butt kisser to your boss, all while staying true to who you are and your degree isn’t a magic pill for being a go getter. There are a tone of educated fools who can’t seem to make a living to save their life, and there are others who never completed college yet make millions every day such as Henry Ford II, George Romney, J Paul Getty,Woody Allen, Bill Gates, Lawrence Ellison, Michael Dell, David Geffen, H. Wayne Huizenga Blockbuster Video Billionaire, and the owner of the Miami Dolphins, Florida Panthers, and Florida Marlins who stayed only three semesters at Calvin College in Grand Rapids Michigan, this is to name a few (btw I just google them).

Now I am not trying to give off the idea that people should drop out of school and automatically assume the roll of millionare, if anything black folk need an education more than any race on the planet. I am saying that to some extent you don’t need a degree to make it in life. I have a lot of friends who are college educated and I applaude them and love them for their contribution to society as teachers, engineers, police officers (not so much), nurses, doctors, writers, graphic designers and the list goes on. One of my best friends has a college degree and publishes this local paper and does a fine job but she works for herself and doesn’t punch ANYONES clock which is what I admire about her, she will tell you on any given day that college is not what got her to the point of running a successful business and doing what she loves actually it was a supportive husband, but I won’t go there about how our culture has a sense of every man for themselves, I think us putting our heads and money together trumps 100 times over rather than the you get yours I get mine on my own with my $75k salary mentality but I digress.

Far to many people go into debt for a degree that has nothing to do with main stream america, and automatically think they are some how cool for the simple fact they finished college, hello last time I checked your art degree doesn’t help any one, nor does the one you have in the history of sumo wrestling (made that up) but you get my point. I for one don’t plan to be 50k in student loan debt just to make a mere 30k until someone decides I deserve a raise. (also a sad fact of a few of my fellow college educated friends)

I have been in and out of college for the past oh say 7 years. when I gratuated from high school I immediately enrolled into a community college. I found myself later though wanting to work a full time job as well, my mom didn’t even think I was college material and really she still feels the same today, she never once helped me pay for college. I quit because I couldn’t handle work and school and really wasn’t keen on the idea of a bunch of loans. Later on about 3 years ahead I went back to school. I was living with my ex boyfriend at the time and he offered to provide free living while I attended school, but I still had to pay for it which meant again either student loans or work. Well I chose work again but after while I quit school yet again because I needed my own money and couldn’t see asking a man to give me gas money. Fast forward 3 more years I finally work a steady job and could afford to go back to school so I did, Eventually my ADD kicked in and I got tired of doing the school and work thing. Here I am today still not finished with college. I know a lot of people say well such n such did it with 3 kids and no man so why can’t you? Yea I feel you on this but at this point its really a matter of lack of motivation with a mix of school sucks and road blocks that has led me to say fuck em, shit I can only take so many set backs. I have come to the conclusion that I don’t hold a high value for college in respects of getting into corporate america because I already work for corporate america and it sucks to be quite honest. If I do go back it will be much later in life when I marry a rich man who pays for it and takes care of me (jusk kidding). The other reason I don’t think college is worth my time is because the field I wan’t to go into doesn’t call for it. I want to become Real Estate broker and eventually own my own real estate company. Last time I checked a college degree wasn’t required. Besides I know far to many people who have degree’s in business that can’t run a business to save a life.

I have always been a go getter and I hardly consider myself a lazy person. I work 2 jobs and have always worked since I was 17. I have achieved a lot of things and plan to continue my success. I do agree My progress may not be as expediant on a 35,000 a year salary but I have plans to get where I want to be which has more to do with planning vs dollars at this point. Now if in fact you see me still working for the man making 35k a year 10 years from now then just slap me and say take your ass back to school, but I feel the idea of college is far less relevant when your worth a million + at age 35 and have your own business which I have 10 years to get to that place. There has yet to be a time where I have entered into the work world with the assumption that I couldn’t have a good JOB and my confidence have proven such that I can obtain a decent living. I know I can’t go walking into a hospital demanding I do an emergency sergery on Mr Smith, just like I can’t walk into Ford motor company demanding they put me on payroll and let me build an engine because im “cute”. I totally get that, but for the jobs such as secretary, customer service rep, sales person, cook I can easy get provided I have the know how and skill. This is ok for me until I can venture off into business for myself. Also in spite of my degree I have managed to purchase a home, keep a job, and live a comfortable life, so what I don’t wear the latest fashions or drive a lex and can’t take trips to jamaca on the regular but last time I checked you put your vacation on credit so please don’t judge me. If its about more money over the long haul then yea “D” is right as long as I work for corp America without a degree I will always make less but a lot of what makes up our good economy is not the CEO of Walmart, its the small coffee shop with 4 employees, or the auto repair place that Bill stared in his garage that grew over time, or that cake lady that can bake like nobodies business on any given day. Withouth these people our economy wouldn’t exist. I could name a ton of professions that don’t need college degree’s ie, day care providers (if you love working with kids) chefs (if you want to provide the food for dream weddings) designers (when you wanna design outfits for folk like beyonce) yep you don’t need a degree you need fashion sense, God given talent, creativity and the entuprenurial spirit which no amount of college can give you.

I don’t want to change anyones views on college, like I said we need doctors, lawyers, teachers and social workers, but I will maintain my stance that drive, ambition, and focus will get you your dream career, not JOB. If this means a man won’t date me then so be it, I won’t hold it against you just don’t call me when I am rich asking me can we go out for drinks n laughs cuz I will be the one on top BELIEVE THAT!!

After everyone explaining it to me(100 times) I think I finally understand how to do a pingback. So SBM here is to you my friend!!!! Me and ping are going to be great friends!! Ok next on the list of things to learn TRACKBACKS anybody care to give me a lesson?

FYI this is not a tutorial lol. (disclaimer) I can’t even get the boyfriend part right let alone marriage lol. However this blog is about a recent post I found on a website. Currently they are scouting for professional single women to come on there show, and the first thing I noticed was a comment about the overwhelming response to the new tv show. It mentioned the fact that over 5,000 woman have applied. Now here is where my problem comes to play. If you go to the website you can find the application and It is extremely extensive. worse than any reality tv show I have seen, on top of that you still need 5 minute video and 1 page paper about your dating life. Hello!!! am I in college all over again or what. So 5,000 + ladies have applied does anybody see a problem other than me??? If you have that much time on your hands to fill out this application and actually submit it then you have to much time on your hands hints the reason you are still single. Not trying to be funny but I hear the numbers in dating are to our advantage so get out and date!!!

I was laying in my bed earlier thinking about all the things I have been faced with, car accident, job stress, relationship issues you know the stuff that makes you say wtf!. Anyways as I broke to tears I started thinking about what would make me temporarily happy In the mist of all my sorrows. Long and behold I had an ah ha moment and the answer was sex. Yes sex I say!!!

As I laid there contemplating the idea of having just one night of self indulging love making passion with …… (ok skip who with for a second)

I figured I better consult my inner self before I ran to make a rash decision that I may very well regret the next day.

So I am putting this question out there to anybody who will listen. Does sex heal ??? I personally would say yes but I haven’t ever actually had sex when I have been stressed so thats why I am asking. I want to know that If I go do it will it give me a sense of relief and clear my thoughts OR add to the list of complicated things in my life. I have been really good at the whole celibacy thing (waiting for a relationship) but I am running out of reasons why not to………