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un toilet learning

Tue, 09/26/2006 - 08:27 -- mrs. sauce

Sauce jr is currently experimenting with un potty training himself. He has started just refusing to pee until he has pissed his pants then this morning I noticed a few drips and asked him to go up to the toilet. He ran off and then came back a few minutes later and told me he had just pissed on his bed instead. I am remaining outwardly calm but inside am full on raging BITCHMOTHER.

Comments

handle it neutrally and act slightly surprised when he does it. If he does it again, tell him - "Hey, if you keep doing this I'm going to have to put you in diapers. I just can't clean poop and pee messes up in unexpected places." then if he does it AGAIN put him back in diapers. Neutral neutral neutral Mama.

very recently. it pissed me off because they weren't accidents, they were intentional. he would get all of the blankets and quilts out of the cabinet, make a fort, and then piss all over it. he would then run to me saying he peed on the fort. i told him to use the toilet the next time. he did it a second time, i told him i would take all of this toys away(hows that for nice?), but he never did(hasn't done) it again.
anyhow, he also did this awhile ago, like a year or two? i don't remember. it was extremely frustrating. so every 30-45 minutes, i asked him if he needed to go potty, and regardless of his answer we went to the bathroom and tried. a few days of my constant harrassment was all it took for him to stop doing that.

"what if the hokey pokey IS what its all about?" - random bumper sticker

"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies." - Nietzsche

that I don't know shit about this because DS is two and nowhere near toilet trained. However, I have heard that it is not uncommon for kids to regress a bit in this area when a new sib arrives.

I have a friend whose kid took to pissing on the floor right in front of him right after his sis was born. My friend said, "I am going to stand here all day if I have to until you wipe that up." This, it turns out, was not a good tactic, because said friend is a hardcore workaholic and the notion of him standing there all day was like a dream come true to his kid. So if it is attention he is after, probably a low-key but firm response is best, like, Looks like you have having trouble with going potty, should we go back to diapers for a few days? Like it's his choice. Then it's not on you to 'discipline' and he gets to choose to be a big boy--or a baby if that's what he needs for a bit.

I will ask s-bop when he comes home from school if he isn't secretly sending sauce jr. ways to act the fool, LOL, he did so many of the same things sauce jr. is currently doing after t-bop was born. They are 3 years apart too, my sons. This is textbook, sauce jr. acting out, it's a little regression because of the baby is all.

What I did was tell him how hard changing diapers were and how nice and helpful it was that he was potty trained and stuff. He seemed to feel that I was 'always changing the baby' and fussing over him, which was a surprise to me. So I then over-acted a bit on the drudgery of diaper-changing, but it helped Scott to see that it wasn't extra attention Todd was getting but sheer neccesity. I'd act all grossed out by poopy diapers and ask Scott to help me with getting the wipes or a washrag and all, like I truly needed his help, right. This made him feel indispensable and like a 'big' boy.

He pissed on the floor and on his bed a few times after I started that but I would just help him get cleaned up and cuddle him a bit, I noticed both times he again felt Todd was getting more/extra attention, is all. Soon he stopped.

I hear what others were saying about regression post-baby but just wanted to note that miss Selah has done similar things and has no baby to be concerned about, so who knows. The main similarity that I've seen is in the refusing--sometimes she just refuses to go potty.

The only thing that has worked for me is not making a big deal out of it--asking or telling her to go potty in passing. And when there are accidents, totally acting like they're no big deal, as well. I don't understand why two- and three-year-olds think it's so hilariously funny and satisfaction-producing to see their moms freak out but for whatever reason they do. It can be SO HARD not to freak out, though, so if you can keep it together and act completely cool about it I think that's a major accomplishment!

Ack! Z has had some set-backs too, here and there. She sometimes regresses to being baby-ish in other ways. So it's probably normal.

While it's great (necessary) not to display a ton of anger or shame your kid about the peeing on the bed or in pants, I do think it's okay to let him know you're frustrated or disappointed over the mess. Not at him, at the mess.

If he's doing it intentionally I think he can play a large roll in cleaning up the mess. Pretty damn quick he'll realize that the consequences of his actions are no fun whatsoever.
Devon once got mad at me and pissed in a laundry basket of clean clothes. On purpose. I made him rewash the laundry. We put it all in the washer together, he started the machine, put the soap in, switched it to the dryer, put it in the basket, helped fold and put it away. At the beginning of the process he was all excited about helping (and Callum was whining in the background about how he never got to help that much with the laundry) but by the end of the process he wasn't as enthusiastic. And he never did that again.
He will still have an accident occasionally but never with intent.
I should add that I was very calm with him about the cleaning up part. No yelling or screaming (probably a first for me) just "what did you do? Well, now you have to clean that up...Let's get to it." As well, I made no attempt to have it be a "fun" activity.

Dd reverted when ds was born, then eased back in. Altho it would/does piss me off too when they do something likethat on purpose...but I agree that scolding is not they way to fix it...but making him clean it up(someone suggested?) is good idea!
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Mummy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird...

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