Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Me: “But… didn’t you just say that you got it for $50 higher than our price at [Competitor]?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “So, you want us to refund you the $50 despite the fact that our price is lower, and you have never purchased anything from us.”

Customer: “Yes! How hard is this to understand? That’s what a price match guarantee is!”

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t refund you money you never spent, plus the price match only applies if you buy the product from us and then find it cheaper somewhere else.”

Customer: “Don’t try and confuse me! You have to give me $50. It’s in writing and I’ll sue you for false advertising if you don’t! You’ll be fired!”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am, but what you need to do is go to [Competitor] and enquire about their price match guarantee. If you want to return your product there, I would be happy to sell you this one for [price].”

(Near the end of my night shift I have been held up. The doors are smashed to pieces, there are at least four police cars on the forecourt (including the dog unit), several police in the store and crime scene tape across the entrance. While being interviewed by a detective I notice a regular walking up to the door.)

Policeman: “You can’t go in there, ma’am.

(He is on the other side of the forecourt, too far away to stop her. The customer ignores him and moves the cones.)

Policeman: “Ma’am! You can’t go in. They’re closed.”

(She ignores him again, ducks under the tape and weaves her way through the shattered glass past two more shocked policemen. After picking up the newspaper she walks to the counter.)