Jetpacks, flying Pintos and other wacky transportation ideas

Like most Americans who grew up in the 1970s and 1980s, I was unrealistically optimistic when it came to the future of transportation. It didn’t occur to me for a second that consumer jet packs wouldn’t be commonplace by my early 20s. They were making videotapes that allowed you to watch movies at home, for Christ’s sake. Why wouldn’t we be zipping around in space-age vehicles by the year 1995?

I’ve found like minds in the experimental vehicles files in the Chronicle archives, made up mostly of transportation prototypes that (in some cases literally) never took off. And yet, everyone in the photos has a look of hope and confidence on their faces. Of course future generations will throw away their cars and travel by giant motorized gerbil ball. Why wouldn’t they?

Thanks to Chronicle library consigliere Richard Geiger, who tipped me off to the files. Apparently when the librarians didn’t know which file to put a vehicle, they went in the Trans-Misc file. These photos are culled from the Trans-Misc files for ships and planes and “other.” The experimental cars file will get its own gallery down the road.

I hope you enjoy these as much as I did. A few more thoughts below …

Photo: Associated Press

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Sept. 12, 1973: This is the AVE Mizar, an early 1970s attempt to strap a Ford Pinto to an aircraft. Sorry to start this gallery with a downer -- the Flying Pinto program ended when this experimental plane crashed, killing two. less

Sept. 12, 1973: This is the AVE Mizar, an early 1970s attempt to strap a Ford Pinto to an aircraft. Sorry to start this gallery with a downer -- the Flying Pinto program ended when this experimental plane ... more

Photo: Associated Press

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Aug. 14, 1958: Gyrocopter inventor Igor Benson gasses up in North Carolina. From there, he headed to Australia, survived the apocalypse, hung out with Mel Gibson, ate dog food and battled roving bands of marauders. less

Aug. 14, 1958: Gyrocopter inventor Igor Benson gasses up in North Carolina. From there, he headed to Australia, survived the apocalypse, hung out with Mel Gibson, ate dog food and battled roving bands of ... more

Photo: UPI photo

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Nov. 21, 1948: The Wee-Bee, at the time the world's smallest piloted plane. This Beecraft creation weighed 150 pounds, had no cockpit -- the pilot was strapped to the fuselage -- and the landing gear was made out of tricycle wheels. less

Nov. 21, 1948: The Wee-Bee, at the time the world's smallest piloted plane. This Beecraft creation weighed 150 pounds, had no cockpit -- the pilot was strapped to the fuselage -- and the landing gear was made ... more

Courter gets ready for liftoff at Candlestick Park. The pack weighed more than 100 pounds, and was braced on scaffolding before liftoff.

Courter gets ready for liftoff at Candlestick Park. The pack weighed more than 100 pounds, and was braced on scaffolding before liftoff.

Photo: Gordon Peters / The Chronicle

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When Chronicle readers saw this in 1965, I'm guessing private citizen jetpack commuting by the year 1978 was the conservative estimate.

When Chronicle readers saw this in 1965, I'm guessing private citizen jetpack commuting by the year 1978 was the conservative estimate.

Photo: Gordon Peters / The Chronicle

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March 16, 1934: The Umbrella Wingless Plane is tested. From the caption: "It is designed to go 135 miles per hour and to land at a 60 degree angle in a 25-foot circle." The inventors wanted a plane that would land in a back yard. less

March 16, 1934: The Umbrella Wingless Plane is tested. From the caption: "It is designed to go 135 miles per hour and to land at a 60 degree angle in a 25-foot circle." The inventors wanted a plane that would ... more

Photo: Associated Press

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Sept 12, 1962: After the Korean War, the military wanted a flying jeep. The "Airgeep" by Piasecki Aircraft hovered on twin rotors. The Army invested in helicopters instead, but S.H.I.E.L.D. adopted this technology for "The Avengers." less

Sept 12, 1962: After the Korean War, the military wanted a flying jeep. The "Airgeep" by Piasecki Aircraft hovered on twin rotors. The Army invested in helicopters instead, but S.H.I.E.L.D. adopted this ... more

Photo: Courtesy Piasecki Aircraft

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Oct. 15, 1968: Russian students built this "air cushion car" out of fiberglass. Pretty sure Drago drove one of these to the big fight in "Rocky IV."

Oct. 15, 1968: Russian students built this "air cushion car" out of fiberglass. Pretty sure Drago drove one of these to the big fight in "Rocky IV."

Photo: Fednews photo by TASS

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Sept. 16,1958: Herman P. Anderson demonstrates his "car of the space age." He said the invention is capable of 200 miles per hour speeds, but the lawnmower engine was good for three feet in five minutes in this demonstration. less

Sept. 16,1958: Herman P. Anderson demonstrates his "car of the space age." He said the invention is capable of 200 miles per hour speeds, but the lawnmower engine was good for three feet in five minutes in ... more

Photo: Associated Press

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July 3, 1986: The "Lawalu" cruises through the streets of Germany. This giant human version of an Oreo Double Stuff cookie never took off, but appeared to influence every other vehicle in the second "Star Wars" trilogy. less

July 3, 1986: The "Lawalu" cruises through the streets of Germany. This giant human version of an Oreo Double Stuff cookie never took off, but appeared to influence every other vehicle in the second "Star ... more

Photo: New York Times photo

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July 11, 1986: The Autonomous Land Vehicle ran by AI, with no pilot or remote control. Apparently no one at the ALV Corp. saw the "Terminator" movies.

July 11, 1986: The Autonomous Land Vehicle ran by AI, with no pilot or remote control. Apparently no one at the ALV Corp. saw the "Terminator" movies.

Photo: UPI photo

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Nov. 9, 1952: The majestic Horton Wingless, built by Bill Horton. The promising young engineer had a falling out with Howard Hughes over this craft, followed by patent problems and an 18-month jail stint. He died a few years ago. less

Nov. 9, 1952: The majestic Horton Wingless, built by Bill Horton. The promising young engineer had a falling out with Howard Hughes over this craft, followed by patent problems and an 18-month jail stint. He ... more

Photo: World Wide Photo

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April 17, 1975: Behold the Skyship flying saucer, built in England. This is a 30-foot prototype for a craft that would have been several times wider, and carried passengers and cargo. The Skyship was propelled by helium gas cells and thrusters. less

April 17, 1975: Behold the Skyship flying saucer, built in England. This is a 30-foot prototype for a craft that would have been several times wider, and carried passengers and cargo. The Skyship was propelled ... more

Photo: UPI photo

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Sept. 26, 1980: The California Commuter, a three-wheeled street legal vehicle which achieved a record 155 miles per gallon. Inventor Doug Malewicki actually managed 157 miles per gallon during a trip from Los Angeles to San Francisco. less

Sept. 26, 1980: The California Commuter, a three-wheeled street legal vehicle which achieved a record 155 miles per gallon. Inventor Doug Malewicki actually managed 157 miles per gallon during a trip from Los ... more

Photo: Chronicle file

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1973:The Windmobile, a solar powered light craft made by Michigan inventor James L. Amick. (Piloted in sweet aviator shades by Douglas Amick.) Thanks to The Big Event reader Michael Clemens for tipping me off on Twitter! less

1973:The Windmobile, a solar powered light craft made by Michigan inventor James L. Amick. (Piloted in sweet aviator shades by Douglas Amick.) Thanks to The Big Event reader Michael Clemens for tipping me off ... more

Photo: Chronicle file

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June 1, 1975: This sweet ride appears to be powered by a giant fan. This photo was taken in Los Altos, presumably during the Parade of Awesome. If the inventors see this, please contact me at phartlaub@sfchronicle.com. less

June 1, 1975: This sweet ride appears to be powered by a giant fan. This photo was taken in Los Altos, presumably during the Parade of Awesome. If the inventors see this, please contact me at ... more

Photo: Courtesy Enterprise Print

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March 17, 1960: The Sailcycle goes for a test run. I would love to power one of these across the Bay Bridge. Do wind-powered vehicles get the carpool lane?

March 17, 1960: The Sailcycle goes for a test run. I would love to power one of these across the Bay Bridge. Do wind-powered vehicles get the carpool lane?

Photo: Associated Press

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April 1, 1969: The Attex all-terrain amphibious vehicle shows off its soft floatation tires -- by running over this hot model's legs.

April 1, 1969: The Attex all-terrain amphibious vehicle shows off its soft floatation tires -- by running over this hot model's legs.

Photo: UPI photo

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Aug. 16, 1970: The Chaparral in water. Chronicle archives rule: In every stock photo from the early 1970s, there's always a hot woman or a chimp.

Aug. 16, 1970: The Chaparral in water. Chronicle archives rule: In every stock photo from the early 1970s, there's always a hot woman or a chimp.

Photo: Courtesy Busselen Photgraphy

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Jan. 17, 1986: The Waterbug pedal-powered boat, the Smart Car of seacraft, makes its West Coast debut. If this craft is still seaworthy and you own it, please contact me at phartlaub@sfchronicle.com. I want a test-drive ... less

Jan. 17, 1986: The Waterbug pedal-powered boat, the Smart Car of seacraft, makes its West Coast debut. If this craft is still seaworthy and you own it, please contact me at phartlaub@sfchronicle.com. I want a ... more

Photo: Chronicle archives

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Feb. 3, 1960: The Skipjack consumer watercraft retailed for $200 and was powered by a 15 HP motor. Annette Funicello came optional.

Feb. 3, 1960: The Skipjack consumer watercraft retailed for $200 and was powered by a 15 HP motor. Annette Funicello came optional.

Photo: Courtesy Mercury Outboard Motors

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July 7, 1962: The FLIP (Floating Instrument Platform) could tip 90 degrees and acted as a manned buoy that studied the ocean's depths. I can't look at this photo without thinking about the last 40 minutes of "Titanic." less

July 7, 1962: The FLIP (Floating Instrument Platform) could tip 90 degrees and acted as a manned buoy that studied the ocean's depths. I can't look at this photo without thinking about the last 40 minutes of ... more

Photo: UPI photo

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May 31, 1970: Chris Christensen's saucer-shaped houseboat, which he named "Top Secret." He refused to be photographed or say how it was powered. (It was diesel, not alien technology.) Top Secret weighed 13 tons and launched in 1968. less

May 31, 1970: Chris Christensen's saucer-shaped houseboat, which he named "Top Secret." He refused to be photographed or say how it was powered. (It was diesel, not alien technology.) Top Secret weighed 13 ... more

Photo: Chronicle archives

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Sept. 30, 1967: Larrie Reed of Tampa naps on his bed-raft, which traveled at 3 miles per hour. I like the added touch of Larrie's laundry drying on the bedpost. I'm surprised no one has tried something like this in McCovey Cove. less

Sept. 30, 1967: Larrie Reed of Tampa naps on his bed-raft, which traveled at 3 miles per hour. I like the added touch of Larrie's laundry drying on the bedpost. I'm surprised no one has tried something like ... more

Photo: UPI photo

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Undated: I don't condone the animal abuse, but this seemed like a perfect ending. Definitely the most fuel efficient vehicle in this gallery.

Undated: I don't condone the animal abuse, but this seemed like a perfect ending. Definitely the most fuel efficient vehicle in this gallery.

Photo: Chronicle archives

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Jetpacks, flying Pintos and other wacky transportation ideas

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* As much as I’d like to commute using that gerbil-ball thing, the Airgeep is the vehicle featured here that I wish was in mass-production. It’s a jeep! That flies through the air!

* If you own the Waterbug or fan-bike thing features in these photos, and it’s still functioning, please contact me at phartlaub@sfchronicle.com. I’m hoping to arrange a test-drive.

* I borrowed this headline from the book “Where’s My Jetpack: A Guide to the Science Fiction Future That Never Arrived” by Daniel H. Wilson. Available at bookstores everywhere, and Amazon.com.

PETER HARTLAUB is the pop culture critic at the San Francisco Chronicle and founder/editor of The Big Event. He takes requests. Contact him at phartlaub@sfchronicle.com. Follow him on Twitter @peterhartlaub. Follow The Big Event on Facebook.