Random thoughts from the President and CEO of Clean Underwear, a.k.a. Mommy.

(I was kind of on the fence about whether or not to post this, but then I thought, “What the heck, I’m a notorious TMI-er.” So here ya go.)

Since Grayden is getting a little older now, I knew the time was coming for communal showers (and generally nekkidness) with Grayden to end, but dangit, it’s just so convenient at times! Well a little bit ago Grayden and I were in the shower, killin’ two birds with one bar of soap stone, and all of a sudden he exclaims, “Mommy! Where’d your penis go??” He was clearly worried.

I hesitated briefly while stifling a laugh and then explained to him that Mommy is a girl and girls don’t have penises. He accepted this without question and went about his business playing.

When I told Mom what happened she said, “He’s so smart.” And I replied, “Yes, but he also grew taller….he’s at eye-level!”

(When I said that Grayden would probably steal the show here on my blog, I wasn’t kidding. I promise I don’t make this stuff up.)

So today I was laying with Grayden on my bed trying to get him to take a nap and he says to me, “Mommy, close the door.” I replied, “No, we have to leave it open so Penny (dog) and Sniffer (cat) can go in and out.”

Then Grayden says, “Close the door so the boy won’t come in.” Confused, I ask, “What boy?” And Grayden says, “The boy in the living room.”

So at this point I completely forget about naptime and I start asking questions, very casually of course.

“What boy in the living room?”

Grayden replied, “The boy.” Thinking about this but realistically remembering that I was supposed to be encouraging sleep, I said, “Go to sleep.”

We lay there for awhile longer, me thinking, “What is he talking about??” And him squirming around and humming and pretty much doing anything possible not to fall asleep.

A little while later I say, “Grayden, be still and go to sleep.” And he says, “I talking to the boy.”

“What boy are you talking about Grayden?”

“The boy.” He replies matter-of-factly.

“What does the boy look like?” I ask.

No answer.

“What color hair does he have?” I ask.

“White.” Grayden replies.

Gulp.

“White hair…like a GHOST??” I think to myself.

“He has white hair?” I ask.

“No, black.”

Hmm..

“No, brown.” Grayden says.

“Okay, white-ish, blackish, brownish hair. Got it.”

“Is he a nice boy?” I ask.

“Yep!” says Grayden, while continuing to squirm around.

Meanwhile, my brain is going 90 to nothin’ trying to figure out what he is talking about and thinking, “Come on, Melissa. A ghost? Really??” I’m not normally an easily freaked out kind of person. But this? This. Creeped. My. Stuff. OUT. Meanwhile, realistic, perfectly logical me is thinking, “Ghosts don’t live in houses built in 2004.” But then creeped out, Totally-Waiting-On-Samara-To-Climb-Out-From-Under-The-Bed-Me thinks “What if they buried the body under the slab??”

“What’s his name?” I ask, careful to keep a casual tone in my voice.

“Freffressies.” (Or somethin’ like that) Grayden replies.

“What?” I ask.

“Brefrey.”

“Huh?”

“Jerreffrey.” He says.

“Jeffrey?” I ask.

“Yeah, Jeffrey!” Grayden says.

It was at this point that I peed almost peed my pants. You see, Rob had a little baby brother named Jeffrey who died as an infant. So I’m all“Oh my God, baby Jeffrey followed Rob home and is playing with Grayden in the living room while I’m not looking.”

So we lay there awhile longer, all the while my brain is trying to figure out who I’m gonna call (Ghostbusters, duh). Grayden’s still flopping around like a fish and whispering The Itsy Bitsy Spider (his current favorite song) to himself and doing all the things toddlers do to fight going to sleep.

Earlier, I was in the bedroom hanging up clothes and Grayden comes in with something in his hand and says “Mommy, what’s this?”

So as I was taking it from him to get a better look I replied “I don’t know, what is it?” And Grayden said “It’s a fuzz.”

I looked and sure ’nuff it was a tiny piece of carpet fuzz. So I said, “Yep, it’s fuzz. Here you go, here’s your fuzz.” And handed it back to Grayden who quickly replied, “Thanks!”

Then he says “I can take care of your fuzz for you, Mommy.”

And so he has taken very good care of my fuzz for me, except for one moment when he dropped it and said “Where’s my fuzz?” And I said “It probably fuzzed away.” And he said “Yep, it fuzzed away.” But then we found it and he said, “Oh there’s my fuzz! There him is.”

Thursday evening Rob and I took Grayden to the park. I used the opportunity to snap some fun pics of my sweet little man. I had a good time editing them. Here’s my favorites:

He melts my heart with his cuteness.

It is often that cuteness that saves him from the wrath of a fed-up mother.

He is, afterall, a two-year-old. Just as I’m about to lose it, he will say or do something that just makes the frustration instantly disappear and I just have to smile.

He’s so smart. He’s constantly blowing my mind with the things he knows.

And he’s learning his manners and using them.

Well sometimes.

He does still like to yell “BOOGERS!!” out in public. Or “I poooted!!! Ewww!!!”

But he says “Please” and “Thank you” without being prompted, especially with other people, such as waitresses or cashiers. I’m so very happy about that.

He has his Mommy and Daddy completely and totally head-over-heels in love with him. But he also charms pretty much everyone else he comes in contact with. Even the cashier at Home Depot knows his name.

And he knows hers.

He talks constantly. He’s totally a Kennedy. The other day I had someone who just couldn’t believe Grayden was talking in complete sentences. He’s been talking in complete sentences for…months. He talks in paragraphs. Long ones. His vocabulary is huge.

And he knows the difference between present, past, AND FUTURE tense.

Kids don’t usually gain an understanding of the future until much older. I’m just sayin’. ;)

Can you tell I think he’s a total genius? I do.

He LOVES cars and trucks. Nothing makes him happier than coming home with a new 99 cent matchbox car. He has tons of toys (what kid doesn’t?) but he pretty much plays with nothing but cars and trucks.

He says “Vroom, vroom” and “Meep! Meep!” (which I think is hilarious.)

He’s the center of my world.

At naptime, I usually always lay with him on our bed until he falls asleep. We often lay with our noses inches apart with our eyes closed but sneaking frequent peaks at one another and giggling. Of course this delays the falling asleep process, but I don’t care.

The other day while laying together, Grayden opened his eyes and said, unprompted,

“I love you Mommy.”

Ohhh how my heart bursts.

Those words make my life complete. I live for those words.

He had so much fun at the park. Running from the slide to the swings and back again. Complete and total carefree childhood happiness. He was sweaty and red-faced by the time we left.

When I decided to create a brand new blog, I had several “niches” that I was interested in writing about. I’ve read manyarticles that suggest that the best thing to do when creating a new blog is to find your niche and keep the posts in your blog somewhat narrowed to that niche. So, since I am a rule-breaker by nature, I thought “This is my blog, about my life. And in my life are a whole pletheria of random stuff to ramble about blog-worthy topics.” So I decided that my niche is simply…me. This blog will likely talk about everything and anything. It will definitely be TMI. It will definitely be, at times, irreverant. It will be funny. It may be sad. It will be heart-felt and it may even be bitchy. It’ll talk about my food and weight issues, my laundry, my relationships, my hilariously entertaining 2 year-old son Grayden (who, might I add, is likely to steal the show with his extreme cuteness), my (retarded) dog, my endeavors to find out who I truly am outside of wife and mommy, and my journey to contentedness with myself and my life. And it’ll surely talk about topics other than myself. Surely.

So, with that said, my plan is to be food blogger, an exercise blogger, a mommy blogger, a life blogger, and an everything-in-between blogger. So stay tuned because surely there will be SOMETHING interesting for you to read about.

This is my very first GROWN UP blog post! I kept a Xanga Blog for several years but now I think of Xanga as being sort of teeny-bopperish. So, after much frustration with trying to create a unique blog design, I finally have my first grown up blog! I’m excited to get back into blogging and to share my day-to-day life with the world!