My Step(ford) Children. Supposed to be light hearted but getting less so as the days wear off

THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR?

Christmas is fast approaching and soon the question of what to do about the “Kids” will have to be addressed. So far this has not been discussed between Proton and Electron but the subject is hovering menacingly in the background.

All in their mid to late thirties, they still do not have the wherewithal to provide for themselves. The boys cannot even get it together to buy their mother a Christmas card. And every year culminates in a fiasco of one form or another:

Strangeness not realising it is Christmas Day.

Charm deciding to not cook the Christmas meal as promised because a bloke has turned up in her house share on Christmas day and she would rather be with him even though they have only just met.

Quark of course being totally out of it and wondering why everyone else is irritated.

Electron vows to himself that this will not be allowed to happen again.

Charm, at least will be out of the way at her grandmothers. She appears to be doing well having not had a drink or a boyfriend for 3 months….

21 Dec 2014

An early evening call from Charm.

Tonight she has hit the bottle again. She has been attending two separate AA meetings a week and has befriended two men, each with their own addiction problems. Both men have got the wrong impression of Charm and think she has amorous intentions. One of whom has asked her to move in with him, even though he lives in sheltered accommodation. Charm tells him that he has got the wrong idea, but he rings back 12 hours later to say that his ex-girlfriend has just died from an overdose so maybe Charm will change her mind! No wonder she wants a drink.

Proton talks calmly to Charm for 90 minutes on the phone and encourages her to return to her grandmothers house. This Charm promises to do and says that she will call to let Proton know when she gets in. The time is approaching 9pm.

11pm and still no call, Proton calls her mother but Charm is still not home. She tries Charms mobile but it is permanently engaged. She calls Quark and Strangeness to see if Charm is talking to either of them – she is not. That means she must be talking to some bloke.

An hour goes by and finally Charm answers her mobile. She does not know where she is exactly. Proton says she was worried and that she has been trying to call her for ages. Yeah right, you have been trying to call me. Electron can hear every word as Charm is now screaming down the phone. He makes a cutting motion across his throat; Proton gets the message and hangs up the phone. Now all phones in the house will have to be disconnected in order not to receive abusive calls throughout the night.

We later find that Charm got home safely but remembers very little of the nights proceedings.