But if I had to play this out in a million different scenarios, I never would have predicted a victory by Gov. Jerry Brown, fueled by a lobbying effort on his dog’s Facebook page.

Thrilling victory? Sign of the apocalypse? Either way, folks, Jerry Brown is officially The Greatest Bald Man of the Bay Area.

Brown made fairly easy work of KPIX reporter Mike Sugerman, my colleagues Matier & Ross, Alice radio personality Vinnie Hasson and Too $hort as he worked his way up the bracket. But it was the stunning landslide victory over Jerry Rice in the finals that historians will be analyzing for generations to come. Considering the negatives that come with any sitting politician, I would have given 10-to-1 odds that Rice, one of the most beloved athletes in Bay Area history, would destroy Brown.

But readers cited Brown’s San Francisco roots and the fact that he remains in Oakland after his run as mayor there. Rice was docked for being born out of state, for going on “Dancing With the Stars,” and mostly for putting off his baldness with a series of increasingly unfortunate hair styles.

And then there was The Sutter Factor.

I was surprised on Wednesday afternoon when Brown acknowledged the existence of the contest with a retweet on his official Twitter page. Things would rapidly get even more surreal when Sutter Brown, the Welsh corgi owned by the governor and his wife Anne Gust Brown, told followers on the dog’s Facebook page that “Dad needs your help …”

Congratulations to the governor. I think Brown is a great bald man and worthy holder of this prestigious title. I appreciate his efforts to improve Oakland. Assuming he doesn’t call a press conference for a victory speech (absolutely nothing would surprise me at this point), I will e-mail the governor’s people today, and request a short interview featuring only baldness-themed questions.

Thanks to all of the bald men who participated. As a bald man (who was eliminated in one of the play-in games), I meant this as a tribute, and was excited that most of the 32 participants took this with a good sense of humor. March Baldness had little journalistic value and no greater meaning. But if one 22-year-old who is losing his hair saw this contest opted against a comb-over, then it was all worth it.

PETER HARTLAUB is the pop culture critic at the San Francisco Chronicle and founder/editor of The Big Event. He takes requests. Contact him at phartlaub@sfchronicle.com. Follow him on Twitter @peterhartlaub. Follow The Big Event on Facebook.