The Time(s) my “Date(s)” Pretended to Fall Asleep

That’s right. Plural. No, once wouldn’t have been infuriating or humiliating enough, clearly. No, two different boys, at two different times, decided to pull the same stunt: pretending to fall asleep while sitting in a parked car, waiting for me to decide what we were going to do with the rest of the day. A hint, for any boys out there who might be reading this, it’s really not a good plan. At all. It will probably end with the girl sitting silently for a bit and then deciding that her time would be better spent doing, well, anything. Also, if either of the two of you are reading this, and I hope you know who you are, I really do apologize if I acted like a bitch, but a high five is not a proper way to end a date in which you pretended to fall asleep. It’s just not. Also, I am aware that it is the twenty-first century and I am all for equality in relationships, but if you have absolutely no ideas for what to do on our first date, I would recommend you wait until you have one instead of making me sit in your car that has been sitting out in the summer sun until I think of something. Let’s just say in the most successful date I went on, my date picked up a bag off of someone’s porch that contained dog poop. It was awkward. At least he was well-intentioned though.

I’m pretty sure I made this face the entire time I sat in the car(s). It was cute.