Monday, January 6, 2014

Train the Band Presents: A United States Of America Joint: Ford the River or Caulk the Wagon? A Dystopian Tale of Choosing Love in the Face of War

January 6th, 2014 9:30am

Dear Jeremiah,

Tis our first day of yee ol' road trip and all of our oxen are healthy. We set our pace to grueling and our food rations low. We stopped at the hardware store to get snake meat. I'm afraid Deenah might have dysentery...she has yee early signs of rectal pain and fever. If she dies I'll be left with Mr. Seth and Miss Heather, which will be intolerable. If that is the case, may the dysentery take my life as well.

A couple of years back, Seth and I wrote our own Train lyrics, in honor of their pointlessness:

*note: "Train" is a band that wrote the hit singles Drops of Jupiter and Hey Soul Sister.

SAY YAY

Your mason jar of butterfliesDance through my eyes like rockabiesDon't hear her voice while her lips are tiedWanna somersalt with your nephew in the skies above.

She flies! But no not really!She cries on pads of Lilly!Watch those tears roll down into my thorny crown...again.

That coffee filter makes my ears bleedAs it breaks and shoots through lightspeed.That atmosphere can take the leadI found nemo between the legs of Dakota fanning swimming with Obama as he's eating beefaroni over time with my elbows saying "hey what's up". With you. Tonight!Hey! Sayin stuff say yay!Repeat

Day one:
Breakfast at Heather's House in Delaware:

January 6th 2014 1:30pm

Dear Jeremiah,

We stopped for provisions at Miss
Lindsay’s lovely house in Virginia, right outside of DC. She is a doctor! With a
house! A husband! And a tiny child! And she is the loveliest of women!! Ah
Jeremiah! I’ve been looking at myself in the reflection of my lead spoon,
contemplating…what is my future? I am still working on my manuscript. I used up
my scroll by Maryland and have been ripping off tree bark during urination
stops since. For ink, I use bowls of mud and oxen feces (at least I think
that’s what they are, Seth doesn’t seem to need rest stops…) For a quill, I use
a twig.My hand still shakes from
the small pox so the whole thing is quite difficult. Anyway, Heather amputated
Deenah’s left leg and tied her to the back of the wagon. Her screams are
painful to hear as she drags along, but her weight helps balance out the front
broken axel…what other choice do we have??!! Sigh. Maybe someday we’ll figure
this “life” thing out.