23 December 2005

Don't make me go out there again

Last minute shopping. Why?!

It started off very well, going to a local lavender farm that has a gift shop with nifty gifts you can buy on the honor system, which was pretty much the perfect shopping environment. Just me, by myself, in a lovely old shed redolent of lavender, picking out little soaps and things. Then I checked myself out (woo!) by writing down my purchases in their little sales register book, tallying it all up with their little calculator, and putting my money in the cash box. Splendid. There were even nice bags to put my stuff in.

So peaceful. So civilized. Emboldened, I headed out for town. I had to pick up a couple of small gifts I had forgotten I needed, since I had forgotten that my brother, single for lo these thirty-seven years, now suddenly has a girlfriend with two small children. Oh, curse you people with your growing families.

So I picked out some nice puzzles and books (I buy semi-educational gifts for kids, always, and I NEVER gender-theme gifts. Gad. Zooks. No.) and got some nice wrapping for the putting in. My last stop was the grocery store, which was of course a mob scene, but I was interested to find that virtually all the patrons I came across in the aisles had that grim sense of we're all miserable together type of forbearance, and any grumpiness was pretty much tamped down. I had a bit of a hassle at the self-serve register, but the loveliest gal was right behind me in line, patient throughout, and she even wished me a nice holiday when I bagged up and departed. Nice person.

So why am I so frustrated and grumpy? Is it because I have now spent my entire paycheck on the day I received it? Is it because I haven't yet told my mother I have no intention of going to church this year? Is it, in fact, because I received my mother's card today, on which she had ostentatiously crossed out the pre-printed "Happy Holidays" and written in "Merry Christmas"???

H'm... perhaps that's it.

Why? Why? Why?

One can only assume that she bought these cards herself! And that she had every opportunity to pick out cards that mentioned the holiday of her choice on them! Did she knowingly pick out secular cards so that she could write in "Christmas!", and make some sort of War On Christmas point? Mom is pretty much all about teh Jesus, and she has a tenuous grasp on social skills as it is, so I really can't rule it out.

When I got home I showed this card to my husband, who is Jewish, without comment. He read it, rolled his eyes, and said Well, Christy Christ Christ to you too, Mom.*** Edit***In the interest of furthering not only the proper holiday spirit, but also a brilliant radio show, check this out.