Ode to a Cruffin

How confusing must it be, to be a Cruffin?
Where in this big world does it fit in? I mean lets be honest, the pastry cabinet only has room for so many sweet treats. Amongst a spread of danishes and doughnuts lets just say, it would be confusing to be a Cruffin.Should it be shuffled behind the muffins, slid in behind the cakes or circled up with the croissants? But I mean come on, who wants to be called flaky?

We must take a stand. A Cruffin should not be brought down with the reputations of a muffin or a croissant. It must stand on its own. Not hidden behind names of prior misconceptions. A Cruffin is the light that makes its cabinet glow. So now's your time Cruffin, live up to who you were born to be. It's your time to shine.
And for goodness sake if you've never had a Cruffin, get with the times.