Alhamdulillah ive completed my ho ship... Im now floating as ED medical officer at my hosp.. It was a very distressing moments of a lifetime event for being a houseman...alhamdulillah its over.. Im searching for a permanent pathway for me to practice later on... I believe surgery is my way...

The new placement for me to work will b announce on september i suppose... Now im just doing some locum and read some books just to improve my knowledge on surgery...

I will also b getting married on september... It is a busy month for me... I hope everything went well.. Most of the thing is done by my mother haha i just settle up the financial part...

I hope i will get a big hospital where i cn trained to be a good surgeon... Some of the surgeon ask me to go district so that i can learn on making decision better.. Both also have pro n cons... Let it be what ever it is ill prove that i will b a surgeon one day.

A first step in everything is important. From there we start to walk, and then we run. As human, babies first step is very important to determine wether theres any delays of their development. First step will be a platform to see any progression of the childs development later.

Im interested in doing surgical. To tell the truth i dont have that courage and self belief of my own goal. It is very dangerous. However during my daily works i will try to find every reasons so that i believe myself that i will b a surgeon.

The feeling of being determined when ur supervisor ask u wether u want to b a surgeon or not is enough for me to gain my confidence.

Today i got the oppprtunity to perform my own appendics under supervision. It is a first step for me in this journey. I hope i will be more faster for the next one. Whatever it is, this is my first step.

Just got back home. Heavy rain outside with thunder storm. I hv to wait for half an hour before i could get into my car.

Syukur...Now i have improved in my department.. Presenting cases was getting better and easy... Managing simple intestinal obstruction given me some confidence.

Just now my specialist was asking me didnt i finish my housemanship aredy? I laugh and said, no la boss this is just my first month.

I still missing my previous medical dept... There they gave lots of opportunities. Its true they said u will feel like real doctor in medical dept. U dont need to feel afraid to start ur own treatment. If u wrong u learn from it.

I met a guy that was a specialist graduated from UKM. He made me the posting leader. Once before i performed a pleural aspiration in front of him. Since that time i dont knw why he kept referring me as a surgeon. He put a trust on me that ill become a surgeon one day.

He is good. A good teacher not only teached but inspires.

Im on my way of taking MRCS... It is an expensive papers that is just a qualification. But i feel by having this qualification it will help me on doing surgery in future. Applying masters, hopefully a bit easier. With a year of full of house officer, there will b also a time a lot of medical officer.. I have to grab this opportunity to push myself among others and get into master programme.

Today i finished half of my day seeing BPH patient ( benign prostate hyperplasia ) and i sit with my new MO friend... She helped me a lot.. And im happy with it. Tomorrow is another clinic day also... Will be seeing patient in hospital sungai bakap and hospital bukit mertajam... And the next day will be my oncall day. Hopefullt everything goes well.

I also read an article about successful people dont wait to start anything. They just do. They took the risk and hit it like a boss. Hehe yes i have this feeling of worried, what if surgery is not fit for me.. Or me not fit with surgery... Whatever it is i will just go through it.

I need to also complete a research about colon ca... Bit tiring... Last time in HUKM if we helped a lecturer conducting studies.. We will b paid..m but now... We dont have that big grant to do the research... We need to do it just it is our passion to see wether our treatment is improving or not... But whatever it is i like the concept of it.. From data we interpret it and improving our management from it.

Thats it...im in 5th posting currently and im working in the surgical department.. Having new work mate... And syukur most of us are from ukm...at least i hv a friend i cn share my problem with...

Last night i had a dinner at eastern oreantal penang grand ballroom.. It was in the heritage wing which built during colonial years... It was frekingly beutifull.. Unforgettable moment.. And it was iyas wedding ceremony... Was given opportunity to recite a doa during the reception... I was really proud of him... Being my buddies... My good understanding friends... I believe he will do well in the next journey that he will have..the journey of marriage...

I took 2 days off and today is the last day.. When all people went back to the place they came from... I am still here in the house thinking about tmrw...

Yups tmrw is a future that im still figure it how.. What i should i do... Im interested in surgical based medical carier.. i want to cut people...and i want to proceed.. But where? Ent? Cardio? I want a life that i can enjoy my working time and also at the same time i can concentrate on having a family...having good times with friends...

At times i do have that feeling of why did i chose this carrier... This question was asked since i started my medical school... Is it to help people? Is it because of popularity of a doctor? Is it because of money?... I do sure one thing that i hold on to all these years... Its because im interested in knowing the gods magnificent creation of all kind

yupss the human...

Treating and understanding human is like knowing how complicated and untouchable by brain and how great the creation of God... And yes by treating them correctly i satisfied.. That feeling of satisfaction that made me crave the knowledge of medicine... Allah Akhbar

I need to settle down... Now i just have to complete my housemanship first.. Theres new news on house officer schedule and need to work for 75 hours in a week... Sigh tiring... But we are all human.. Human can adapt.. Hopefully this another test will not pulling me down to failure...i will rise and shine as before cey... Hehe

Currently waiting for my night call started at 4 pm.. Im really sorry my life has been quite busy lately and i didnt updating anything since my last final exam..

Im happy to say that i passed my medical school!!! Alhamdulillah

I would like to thanks those who happened to be in my life during the struggless and all doa' that u guys made... U guys really help me a lot :)) thannk you...

UKM for giving me precious memory and experience to be a good human being, good doctor.. Thank you lecturers professors and doctors..

Unforgotten my study group mates.. Thank you i love u guys and will be missing u guys forever..we will make it to master programe after this and hopefully will be mates again in future...

And all people that knows me indirectly or directly i thank you much for being in my life... Hihi

So currently im working as House officer in hospital seberang jaya... In orthopedic dept... A lot of things to catch up.. It has been approx 2 months here but im still slow and need to learn lotss more... This is another chapter of my life....

Pls again my dear friends pray for my safety here.. My good work here and may God ease everything i do here...

So im currently in the final week of my study week, and after this i will have my final professional exam for two weeks. I will have one week straight of OSCE papers and theory papers and another one day on the other week for practical longcase and shortcase exam.

The exam will start this 19th March 2012.

This is the day i waited for, for the last 5 years of study, this will be d day that will determine wether im good enough to be a doctor.

After all ups and downs that ive written in this blog, i will finally ending my college life soon.

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Alhamdulillah, currently ending my o&g posting, in the last weeks of the posting, lots of new experience, new mistakes, new knowledge, new anger to overcome, confidence and all, but its not enough if i only prepared the practical parts only, have to put my knowledge ahead too..

but i prefer peads more :)

its just 6 months before my final professional exam, and starting next week my friends from other faculty 4 years courses will be graduating. its a convo day fever again. only God knows how i really wanted to wear the red robe and graduate next year. hopefully everything will go smooth and fine.

(curi-curi tangkap je ni)

i hope it is not too late to wish all of you Selamat Hari Raya maaf zahir dan batin, Alhamdulillah i had a good raya this year, with family, teachers, friends from Maahad Mahmud, that is enough for me. Kubur tok je tak sempat pegi lagi di Melaka, nanti lah bile2 free week ends.