Pffft – some monster; it looks like an octopus made out of a meatball with one eye and tentacles that seem to be waving at eight different clams at the same time.

So while you/me/we breathlessly wait to see this oven baked creature (total screen time: 13 seconds spread over three “sightings”), we have to put up with a chick vacationing in Mexico who, upon hearing about said water devil, becomes obsessed with finding it. Not sure what she planned on doing with it once located. Maybe to give her much-needed acting lessons.

Her new marine biologist boyfriend, who smokes nutritious cigarettes and plays the acoustic guitar (a cross between a tone deaf James Taylor and worn brakes), doesn’t share her belief system as all he wants to do is snorkel in her sea grotto.

Then there’s a half-baked attempt to pad the plot even more with a concerned local with territorial community spirit who wants to keep the monster around to eat tourists. Now who will buy those novelty day-glo sombreros?

You already know how this ends – with you wanting a full refund. Monster from the Ocean Floor(1954) will give your eyes “see food” poisoning.