It was a meaningless game on a mundane Monday night in February, a matchup of two of the worst teams in basketball, both headed nowhere fast and battling like hell to beat the other there. As such, the best outcome for the Bulls was defeat, but standing in their way were the miserable Orlando Magic, one of the few teams more putrid than them. And when the two tanks collided inside the United Center, where fans collectively said “forget it” as evidenced by rows and rows of red seats that sat unoccupied, the display was as amazingly wretched as anticipated.

No stretch was more hilariously horrific than the final eight minutes. Bulls coach Fred Hoiberg labeled his team’s performance “awful” over that span. The comedy of errors both teams made led Bulls reserve guard Denzel Valentine to deem the night one of the craziest games he’s ever been a part of. Zach LaVine, who admittedly thought his night was over when he subbed out after the Bulls went up big early in...

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