to tux or not to tux?

Hi Sachin,

The holidays are approaching and I'll be attending a lot of "black-tie" events for work and socially. The problem is I have no idea what a black-tie dress code entails. My girlfriend says it's a tuxedo, so should I just rent one for each event? Honestly, I'm not much of a tuxedo guy — any chance I can wear something else?

Thanks, Jamie

Jamie, according to Merriam-Webster, "black-tie" is defined as "characterized by or requiring the wearing of semiformal evening clothes consisting of a usually black tie and tuxedo for men." The key word here is "usually." (And, yes, I referred to Merriam-Webster — I'm an editor.)

Your girlfriend is half right. Indeed, men do traditionally wear tuxedos to black-tie events. The tuxedo should have a one- or two-button closure, a peak lapel and, like everything else in your wardrobe, must fit you perfectly. Remember your high school graduation dinner? The one when adolescent boys, by the mere act of putting on a tuxedo — something completely foreign to them — felt that was formal enough. The result was a group of kids looking like they played dress up in their dad's clothes. Yikes. If you're going to tux it up, all eyes will be on you, which is all the more reason to insist on the perfect fit.

Sounds like you plan on attending several black-tie events; do yourself (and your wallet) a favor by buying one instead of renting. There are actually a lot of run-of-the-mill tuxedo shops liquidating their merchandise, even going out of business, and you can walk away with an affordable tux. Plus, owning allows you to bring the thing to your tailor and get the perfect fit.

Here's where your girlfriend was half wrong: A black-tie dress code doesn't mandate the wearing of a tuxedo. You can get away with a black suit. But beware: You can't show up to an office holiday party in your, well, office suit. Your black suit needs to be offset with black-tie-friendly pieces like a slim black tie (in satin) worn with a silver tie bar, a white pocket square, silver cuff links, black lace-ups (a bit of shine to them, please) — get the picture? Jamie, if you want to mix it up, you can even substitute your black suit jacket with a velvet dinner one.

That brings me to my final point. Now, more than ever, you'll find a lot more room to play in this arena. I prefer a midnight-blue tuxedo instead of black, a shawl lapel over a peak one and patent leather shoes. Have fun defining your own black-tie dress code.