Camerons make U-turn and return daughter to the pub

David Cameron is today defending his decision to take his daughter Nancy back to the pub where she was accidentally left at the weekend. 'I know Ed Miliband is going to say this yet another a U-turn' he protested, 'but it's nothing of the sort. What it shows is that I'm a listening parent and I have taken on board the genuine concerns of those affected.'

It's thought that Nancy was taken back to the pub after a row at 10 Downing Street in which she had told her parents she 'wished she lived with someone else' after being sent to bed early for refusing to apologise for being rude to Nick Clegg. 'She expressed some strong and well-reasoned views on her living arrangements' said Cameron, 'and thinking about it, she's probably fed up of being force-fed pasties and watching me send cheeky texts to Rebekah Brookes.'

Nancy is now expected to live at the the Plough Inn until May 2015, when the Camerons will almost certainly be moving out of Downing Street.