When you wake up crying

When you wake up crying real tears, or simply feeling profoundly sad for no apparent reason, it’s because you have finally touched upon some buried grief through a dream. You may have released it all, or there may be more to come. Either way, this is good and healing. (Don’t you always feel much better after a cry?) Even if you don’t remember the dream, rest assured that tears are better out than in, and although you may become more aware, in the next few days, of a past event that caused you grief, you are well on the way to finally letting it go and moving on.

There will be times, in your past, where you were unable to express your grief, or where you felt you should try to hide it.

There will be times, in your past, where you were unable to express your grief, or where you felt you should try to hide it. Perhaps ‘boys don’t cry’, or you were advised to ‘keep a stiff upper lip’, or you accepted a hurtful situation as normal or something to be endured, so you packed grief away, out of sight. Or perhaps the only way to get through a situation was to pretend to yourself that it wasn’t happening, or wasn’t important, or that you were coping wonderfully, or needed to smile for others, or that you had already healed.

These, and other forms of denial, are like bandaids. They work on the surface, but the deeper wound still hurts, affecting how you live your life.

One day the grief finally breaks through – perhaps accompanied by a dream of

a dam bursting, or a tsunami breaking – and you wake up crying.

If you can remember your dream, look for clues about your grief, as understanding the past will help you to accelerate your healing.

What age is the child?

Look for a young child or younger person who seems sad, or hurt, or trying to cover up his or her feelings.

What age is the child?

Ask what happened for you at that age, or that number of years ago. It doesn’t matter whether the child or person looks like you. He or she most likely symbolises the event or your hurt.

Also look for historical markers in your dream, perhaps cars, houses, clothes, or numbers that help to give you a time period to explore.

When you have found the source of your grief, do this dream alchemy practice:

Visualise hugging and comforting yourself as you were back then, or hugging and comforting the child in the dream.

Close your eyes, and visualise hugging and comforting yourself as you were back then, or hugging and comforting the child in the dream. Let her cry all her tears dry, then let her smile and laugh and grow strong and happy. Tell her how wonderful her life will be now that her tears have washed it all away, and see her growing, before your eyes, changing and becoming a strong, happy, powerful, and relieved new you. Merge with her in your mind’s eye, and take her, fully healed, into your heart.