As already reported, I still the awfulness that is McDonald should have had a go. You know, fer a laugh. Because it'd be shite.

Bugger. I can't find anything else shiny and fun on the internets now. Dammit. That's it! Close up the shop! Turn off the web! Digital life is O.V.A.H!

I need things to cheer me today. Feeling slightly exposed and raw after seeing the literally breathtaking War Horse last night. Reader(s), I am not ashamed to admit I spent most of the last fifteen minutes in an undignified mess of snot and tears. It was brilliant. Forgive the luvvie outburst but the staging was one of the most spectacular things I have ever seeeeeen. I suppose part of it was using a children's tale and pulling out all the stops on it. It knew where to hit the emotional punches. BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT ANIMALS. Gahh...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

This is Wild Beasts. And this track deserves to do very well thank you please. I believe it has actually been out before, with a different video and stuff, but I'm pleased it's obviously got some marketing money being pumped into it now.

ALL CREDIT HERE to Lady Donna, as always one of the most important people in my universe,* who came back from summer festivals positively frottaging about this song. And with good cause.

Champion on!

UPDATE: Bête pointed out I missed finishing off a sentence in this post. I have rectified this. I should really blog with less haste.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Coventry train station has a Ladies Waiting Room. For Ladies. The temptation to get a bit David Walliams was great.

Is this a hangover from British Rail, or a return to some old-school rail travel etiquette? Will porters, smoking carriages and Celia Johnson all be returning to the rails in the coming months...? Will this affect my ticket price??

I've been doing a lot of traveling for work. Not Paris, Milan or New York. No no no. Coventry.

UPDATE: LIzzie has rightly pointed out in the comments the good uses Ladies Lounge's have. Maybe Coventry should invest in a Boy's Shed too...?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

So, right, Knitting Teacher and I threw caution to the wind, laughed in the face of our fledgling relationship status and embarked upon a mini-break.

I shoud like to make it clear that the words 'mini' and 'break' were at no point uttered, thus decorating the venture with altogether more edge, mystery and adventure.

(Basically, what we did was spend three days playing viciously competitive Scrabble and drinking in a static caravan in Newhaven. Glamour be damned, it was ruddy good fun.*)

But it has left me with a ethical dilemma; being officially On Holiday was the perfect excuse for trying out as many pubs as possible in the local area. So I can say this with some degree of expertise. I'm not talking one or two watering holes. THEY WERE ALL RUINED. RUINED!! And by what? Energy-saving lightbulbs.

Now I am totally all for environmental measures, efficiency, recycling and imporving the way we live our lives and run our societies to help halt the murderous impact the human race is having on the planet. And I have an enormous amount of faith in humanity - I really believe we can be better, and that small things make a big difference.

But that doesn't mean that this needs to damage my in-pub drinking experience.

It was like trying to enjoy a quiet pint in a dentist's reception. Not relaxing. Has no one invented a tinted energy bulb? Do landlords not consider candlelight? Or getting some better-fitting light fittings**?

We reckon the clever Bods at Seaford have sponsored an energy efficiency scheme to put a spanner in the entertainment industry of its neighbours. It worked. All the pubs were pretty deserted.

It bothers me enormously that once lovely, cosy places to have a drink and a natter have turned into clinical, sterile hellmouths.

THE CAMPAIGN TO RE-GLORIFY THE NATION'S PUBS STARTS HERE.

Of course, possibly the South Coast needs two drunk, toff-ish sounding people in their late twenties putting its towns to rights and criticising its nightlife like it needs a tsunami in the Channel. But we escaped unharmed. Unless that insect bite incurred while roaming across the countryside like two people desperately pretending they are in an Austen adaptation is something more sinister.***

Oh crap. I sound like such a prick of a Londoner... I should be banned from leaving the M25 region for a bit.

UPDATE: No, I wasn't kitted out like Guy Ritchie, mmkay?

* Apart from wandering into a business park late a night by accident.

** Better fitting.. yes that does scan.

*** Much humour was generated by the fact that many place names near hills were appended with the word 'bottom'. EG, Poverty Bottom. I had to literally stop, sit down and laugh for ten minutes before I could carry on. Pity poor Knitting Teacher, who actually grew up in the countryside.

(Seriously though - has anyone else been watching Beautiful People on BBC2? I have. And I like it. I can't work out if I'm just guiltily enjoying it because it's a bit gay, or because of the utterly brilliant Olivia Coleman. Either way it feels wrong and bit dirty. But still I watch. Because it makes me laugh.)

One Of Us - ABBA(Ahem. I am minded to point out my friends are not all male, bummerists, middle-class and Londoners. 'Kay?)

What song do you listen to when you are sad?

Dirty Soul - Shed Seven(Uhh... no.)

In love?

Stupid Girl - Garbage(Stupid GirlS, maybe..? How unkind.)

What song do you air guitar to?

Not Over yet (Perfecto Mix) - Planet Perfecto feat. Grace(YEAH YEAH YEAH!! Or at least air rave-arms-in-the-air in my living room to my iPod. YOU BETCHA! WOOT!!)

What should be your signature karaoke song?

Watch me Go - Girls Aloud(ho-yess...)

What is your greatest desire?

Clair De Lune - Chris Coco & Sacha Puttnam(Hmm... a bit of peace and quiet? Sounds about right at the moment. Or possibly a Jazz FM chllout collection not available in the shops to buy.)

What does next year have in store for you?

Entertain Me - Blur(Unlikely, I fear)

What's your outlook on life?

(Okay I will admit to skipping ANOTHER FRICKIN' Coldplay song)

The Fun lovin' Criminal - The Fun Lovin' Criminals(Smart like John Steed? Hell yeah. One of my mates once met the lead dude in FLC when very drunk. She pulled his hat of and rubbed his bald head. Oh dear.)

How will you die?

Tico Tico - The Andrews Sisters(On a DATE!? Oh how mortifying..)

Do people secretly lust after you?

Jack - Michael Nyman(It's a sad song. Let's just say no and be done with it, shall we?)

The best advice you will ever get?

Bath - The Divine Comedy(oh fer fucks sake...)

So. There we are. An interesting mix... and an odd selection from the old iPhone. Hah!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Perhaps, now the business world has realised that capitalism has some quite major flaws, next August my bank will choose not to send me a birthday card. The most stunning piece of direct-mail* recrement to pop through my letterbox in many a week. Trying to flog me financial services! On my birthday! OH THE HUMANITY!

I mean really. What were they thinking? Riled me up a treat. Luckily, being the happy-go-lucky late twenties scamp that I am**, I got more than one birthday card. If I hadn't, this might well have tipped me over the edge. AND THEN HOW WOULD HSBC FEEL, HMM?

Well. Not much, probably. Apart from a mild concern about who would pay off my overdraft. I have debt. Banks therefore quite like me. This is wrong - see the main pages of most newspapers at the moment.

Meanwhile - Hooray for all the blindingly ace people who have accepted the Adopt-A-Word challenge. You are all amazing and I love you and I haven't spent nearly enough time on the intermawebs telling you this. I have not found the opportunity to use the first one I gave myself yet. I will. OH YES I WILL.

UPDATE: I am not the only one tackling the financial crisis - Delrico and La Bête are also on theme.

* Apologies in advance to Patroclus, who if she had seen the literature in questions, I'm sure would agree that was an insult to professional copywriters everywhere. ***

** Lying is acceptable when not from a Bank.

*** No I still haven't worked out tiny text on Blogger. Things to do to while away the autumnal evenings of mellow mists and pointlessness...

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Here's a thing. Dictionary compilers Collins have launched a campaign to save some of the words fading out of use.

There was a really interesting article in The Times last week about this, with a nifty graphic of some of the words. But neither Google nor its own search engine can find this on their website, only the letters in rspose to it.

Now I'm no purist. I'm all about language changing and adapting (mostly thanks to studying Brian Friel at A-Level - hurrah for sixth form college). Archaic etymology has just as much of a place in the language as text speak (although you probably need one grammar system to hang the whole thing together, or we'd all get confused)*. But the awesome thing about the English language is we have a huuuuge range of words to choose from, to help make ourselves understood, enlighten the world and express culture. Or at least help us win more games of Scrabble.

So long as 'chillax' isn't in immediate danger, I'm actually not too stressed out.

But, here's a Fun Thing. Times readers are being asked to vote for their favourite from the widely circulated list, but instead, I thought how about if we could get bloggers to adopt a word? After all, even if one person understands a word, and uses it once in six months - that would already go some way to keeping it 'alive'.

So who wants to play ADOPT-A-WORD?

I have taken the diabolical liberty of dishing out some words from the list to various bloggers. Go on!** If you're tagged - use the word once on your blog in the coming months, that would be awesome. And if you link back here, that's be fantastic to.

Right them, here we go (BTW - no offence is meant in any of the dishings out):

Mansuetude (gentleness or mildness) for BettyCaliginosity (dimness or darkness) for GeoffRoborant (tending to fortify or increase strength) for James (who should have no excuse being a proper, paid writer and everyfink)Griseous (streaked or mixed with grey; somewhat grey) for JulaBerry/LaLaVilipend (to treat or regard with contempt) for DorisCompossible (possible in coexistence with something else) for ZefrogCaducity (perishableness; senility) for MichaelMalison (a curse) for Dark Looks (who probably knows all these anyway.

I'll take Skirr (a whirring or grating sound, as like the wings of a bird in flight).

Bonus points for the best uses! GO ADOPT-A-WORD BLOGGERS!

Don't they all sound marvellous??

Any takers? If anyone else wants to play - COME JOIN US. And leave a nitid comment in the comment box.

Scrabbling on...

UPDATE: I have corrected some but possibly not all of the awful typos in this post...