The Onion ‘encyclopedia’ of politics

The Onion has been all over this presidential cycle and now the satirical newspaper and website has a book to prove it: “The Onion Book of Known Knowledge,” which hit bookstores this week, is a mock encyclopedia chock full of political entries.

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Barack Obama: “44th president of the United States, who, for the first time in American history, gave racists the opportunity to despise the most powerful man on the planet. Main achievements: health care, sort of; financial reform, sort of; gay rights, sort of.”

Electoral College: “Flawed system that everyone agrees is obsolete, but is thankfully only used to elect the president of the United States.”

Al Qaeda: “Radical Islamist terrorist organization founded by Sunni extremist Osama bin Laden that gave the United States something to do.”

Congress: “National legislative body of the U.S. government that had such amazing potential, damn it. Established by Article I of the Constitution, Congress comprises the Senate and the House of Representatives, an ingenious bicameral system that seemed on paper like it was going to be something really special, you know? Really, really special.”

War: “First resort in conflict resolution before opposing nations are forced to engage in diplomacy.”

And, of course, Joe Biden makes a cameo, too (Biden has been a particular favorite of The Onion’s lately):

“At the age of 12, he walked in on the mother of a school friend changing and then asked if she really wanted him to leave. Graduated from high school in 1961, but for three years afterward periodically hung out in the parking lot of his alma mater in his 1957 Ford Del Rio station wagon (which he had converted into a cot and mini bar) in order to, in his words, ‘check out the fresh crop of sweet peaches.’”