Fast and Furious

Enhancing your productivity by doing things faster.

Now that the holiday has, um, passed over, it’s time to get back to figuring out what we used to do with our time before we started either scrubbing or cooking absolutely everything in the house. Because we didn’t actually get anything done in the month before Passover that wasn’t actually Passover-related, and now we have to catch up. But how?

Now that the holiday has, um, passed over, it’s time to catch up.

If you ask experts for tips on being more productive, they will tell you, first of all, that you should keep a “to do” list.

That’s a great idea. I have a “to do” list on my computer that is, as we speak, 278 items long. On the average day, I add about 10 items to the list and then do about 8. Plus, there’s all that time I spend futzing around with my “to do” list.

But there is also another thing you can do to greatly enhance your productivity: Do things faster.

Sure, your mother told you that if you do things faster, you’ll just mess everything up and have to do it over. But there’s a pretty big chance that if you do things slowly, you’ll mess them up anyway. At least if you went faster the first time, you’ll have more time to do it over.

On the other hand, there are a lot of things in life for which faster isn’t necessarily better. Imagine if a surgeon said, “Okay, I know the surgery is supposed to take three hours, but I figure twenty minutes, tops. How big is your brain, right?”

And how about the people who attempt to run into an elevator as soon as the doors open, before the people who are in the elevator have a chance to get out? Do you think there will be more room in there if you get in first? Or do you think you can get started going up to the next floor while you’re waiting for everyone else to get out?

On the other hand, it would definitely speed up your day if the people who are in the elevator just got out faster. But they can’t get out, because you’re standing right in front of the door. So you spend a good 30 seconds in a stalemate, and that doesn’t do anything for anybody.

But yes, it will definitely help your productivity if everyone around you would move faster. For example, the people in front of you in the supermarket, who block the entire aisle and are moving so slowly that you think maybe their shopping cart doesn’t have any wheels. You know that sense that you have when you can sort of tell that there are people behind you, trying to get around? These people don’t have that. Maybe we should start equipping shopping carts with rear-view mirrors. And horns.

Or how about the people in front of you at the checkout, who, even though they’ve been waiting for the same 25 minutes that you were, they don’t even start looking for their supermarket card or their credit card until they get to the front of the line? Like it’s a total surprise to them that they need those things.

Or how about the people in front of you for whom, every item they’re buying, the cashier has to call the manager over like he’s never seen the item before in his life. “Do we carry this item? What is it? You didn’t just sneak it into the store and then attempt to pay us for it, did you?” and the customer, meanwhile, is trying to pay entirely in coupons from 1972. And then the person directly in front of you leaves his cart in line, and goes off to do his shopping for like the rest of the year, even though you got in line behind him in the first place because he didn’t have that many items in his cart. But then he looked back at your cart, and he got some ideas.

You didn’t just sneak this item into the store and then attempt to pay us for it, did you?”

“Gefilte fish! Where’d you find gefilte fish?”

“Over by the refrigerated fishes.”

“OOOOH! I’ll be right back.”

Or he looks at your cart, and he sees that you’re buying eight of something, and he figures that it must be on sale. So he goes off to find it, and of course he says, “Can you please watch my cart?” Like someone else is going to walk up and say, “Wow! These are exactly the foods that I need! Just ring these up for me!”

(Can you tell I spent a lot of time at the supermarket recently? This post-Passover restocking thing is killing me. And I’m not even really in the mood for any food right now in the first place, because – you know – Passover.)

There are also a lot of people in your way when you’re on the road. Now I don’t begrudge people for being on the road. But sometimes I’m sitting in my car, and I can’t go because the person in front of me is stopped, and has his window rolled down, and is talking to someone who is sitting in a car going the other way, who also has his window rolled down. I want to yell, “Get a cell phone!” Because at least then they’ll be moving. Sure, they’ll be swerving erratically, but at least that’s moving. And it’s one thing if they’re asking for directions, but they’re clearly not. When you’re asking for directions, you’re talking to someone all the way on the side of the road, and that person is bending down to see you and making vivid gestures with his arms, like that’s going to help you understand. No one asks for directions from people in the other cars. “Look, he’s coming from that direction! Maybe he knows how to go!”

And then there’s rubbernecking. Now I do understand the need to rubberneck. I hate it, but once everyone in front of you is rubbernecking, you’re also going to look, so you can see what the fuss is all about. You have to look, because now you’re late, and when you get there, people are going to ask why. “Why are you late?” And you want to give them a real answer. You don’t want to say, “I don’t know, first everyone slowed down, and then we started going again.”

But can’t people rubberneck faster? How long does it take? You get to the front, you look at the other side of the highway, you go, “That’s it?” and then you move! What is that, two seconds? We should be passing that accident at a rate of 30 cars per minute! But sometimes it takes people so long that by the time you get to the front, the accident is already all cleaned up, and your side of the highway is still backed up for rubbernecking. And then you have no idea why you stopped. That’s very frustrating.

I guess my point is that even though it won’t necessarily increase your productivity if you do things faster, it will definitely increase your productivity if everyone else goes faster.

But how do we get through to those people? Maybe we should put huge billboards on the side of the road (“PRODUCTIVITY TIP: DO THINGS FASTER”).

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About the Author

Mordechai Schmutter writes a weekly humor column for Hamodia, a monthly humorous advice column for The Jewish Press, and a comic strip for The 20s and 30s of Brooklyn. He is also the author of the books, Don’t Yell “Challah” in a Crowded Matzah Bakery, A Clever Title Goes Here, This Side Up, and Cholent Mix, all published by Israel Book Shop. In his spare time, which doesn't exist, he attempts to teach Language Arts to a bunch of high school guys, most of whom are usually too upset that he showed up on any given day to even pay attention to his lessons. He is also available to do stand-up comedy. He lives in New Jersey, but no longer remembers why.

I just got married and have an important question: Can we eat rice on Passover? My wife grew up eating it, and I did not. Is this just a matter of family tradition?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chametz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chametz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. Chametz is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Hence the category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chametz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

Products of kitniyot often appear like chametz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chametz). Also, chametz grains may become inadvertently mixed together with kitniyot. Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot were prohibited.

In Jewish law, there is one important distinction between chametz and kitniyot. During Passover, it is forbidden to even have chametz in one's possession (hence the custom of "selling chametz"). Whereas it is permitted to own kitniyot during Passover and even to use it - not for eating - but for things like baby powder which contains cornstarch. Similarly, someone who is sick is allowed to take medicine containing kitniyot.

What about derivatives of kitniyot - e.g. corn oil, peanut oil, etc? This is a difference of opinion. Many will use kitniyot-based oils on Passover, while others are strict and only use olive or walnut oil.

Finally, there is one product called "quinoa" (pronounced "ken-wah" or "kin-o-ah") that is permitted on Passover even for Ashkenazim. Although it resembles a grain, it is technically a grass, and was never included in the prohibition against kitniyot. It is prepared like rice and has a very high protein content. (It's excellent in "cholent" stew!) In the United States and elsewhere, mainstream kosher supervision agencies certify it "Kosher for Passover" -- look for the label.

Interestingly, the Sefardi Jewish community does not have a prohibition against kitniyot. This creates the strange situation, for example, where one family could be eating rice on Passover - when their neighbors will not. So am I going to guess here that you are Ashkenazi and your wife is Sefardi. Am I right?

Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Moses ben Nachman (1194-1270), known as Nachmanides, and by the acronym of his name, Ramban. Born in Spain, he was a physician by trade, but was best-known for authoring brilliant commentaries on the Bible, Talmud, and philosophy. In 1263, King James of Spain authorized a disputation (religious debate) between Nachmanides and a Jewish convert to Christianity, Pablo Christiani. Nachmanides reluctantly agreed to take part, only after being assured by the king that he would have full freedom of expression. Nachmanides won the debate, which earned the king's respect and a prize of 300 gold coins. But this incensed the Church: Nachmanides was charged with blasphemy and he was forced to flee Spain. So at age 72, Nachmanides moved to Jerusalem. He was struck by the desolation in the Holy City -- there were so few Jews that he could not even find a minyan to pray. Nachmanides immediately set about rebuilding the Jewish community. The Ramban Synagogue stands today in Jerusalem's Old City, a living testimony to his efforts.

It's easy to be intimidated by mean people. See through their mask. Underneath is an insecure and unhappy person. They are alienated from others because they are alienated from themselves.

Have compassion for them. Not pity, not condemning, not fear, but compassion. Feel for their suffering. Identify with their core humanity. You might be able to influence them for the good. You might not. Either way your compassion frees you from their destructiveness. And if you would like to help them change, compassion gives you a chance to succeed.

It is the nature of a person to be influenced by his fellows and comrades (Rambam, Hil. De'os 6:1).

We can never escape the influence of our environment. Our life-style impacts upon us and, as if by osmosis, penetrates our skin and becomes part of us.

Our environment today is thoroughly computerized. Computer intelligence is no longer a science-fiction fantasy, but an everyday occurrence. Some computers can even carry out complete interviews. The computer asks questions, receives answers, interprets these answers, and uses its newly acquired information to ask new questions.

Still, while computers may be able to think, they cannot feel. The uniqueness of human beings is therefore no longer in their intellect, but in their emotions.

We must be extremely careful not to allow ourselves to become human computers that are devoid of feelings. Our culture is in danger of losing this essential aspect of humanity, remaining only with intellect. Because we communicate so much with unfeeling computers, we are in danger of becoming disconnected from our own feelings and oblivious to the feelings of others.

As we check in at our jobs, and the computer on our desk greets us with, "Good morning, Mr. Smith. Today is Wednesday, and here is the agenda for today," let us remember that this machine may indeed be brilliant, but it cannot laugh or cry. It cannot be happy if we succeed, or sad if we fail.

Today I shall...

try to remain a human being in every way - by keeping in touch with my own feelings and being sensitive to the feelings of others.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...