The Life and Loves of Penn Badgley

Alas, he and Blake Lively weren't meant to be—but, as Mickey Rapkin learns, Penn Badgley still has a few songs in his heart.

For six seasons on the CW's Gossip Girl, Penn Badgley's Dan Humphrey, the do-good, earnest writer otherwise known as Lonely Boy, was the soap's moral center (such as it had one)—that is, until the series finale, when it was revealed that Humphrey was all along our titular tattler. Up to that point, Badgley, 26, was also the show's unlikeliest tabloid target, thanks to his two-and-a-half-year relationship with costar Blake Lively. But dating a coworker can be problematic, especially when the romance ends and she marries Ryan Reynolds while the show is still in production. Still, not much seems to slow down Badgley, who's been working since he relocated from Seattle to L.A. as a teenager to pursue acting. He's moved on to other projects (he impresses as the late musician Jeff Buckley in the indie Greetings From Tim Buckley, now in theaters and on demand) and to other women, notably the actress Zoe Kravitz. Not so lonely anymore.

ELLE: You picked up the guitar as a teenager. Was that to impress women?

PENN BADGLEY: I've never been that guy. I'd just feel so cheesy.

ELLE: Were girls into you in high school?

PB: I couldn't really tell. I didn't start to understand my own appeal to women until later.

ELLE: What is that appeal?

PB: I still don't even know. [Laughs] There definitely is something.

ELLE: You and your ex Blake Lively had to work together after she got married last year. Was that difficult?

PB: No, we were ultimately professional.

ELLE: What did the end of that relationship teach you?

PB: I don't know if I can distill it into a sentence, or even articulate it. We were very much caught up in the show, which itself was a six-year endurance test. Our relationship was a part of that and helped us through it. I mean, like anything valuable, it was good and it was bad and it was a learning experience.

ELLE: Did you send a wedding gift?

PB: No, I didn't.

ELLE: Is there a movie that gets love right?

PB: [Laughs] No, movies lie.

ELLE: Okay. Is there a Jeff Buckley lyric that gets love right?

PB: Yeah, actually. The lyrics to "Lover, You Should've Come Over": "Sometimes a man gets carried away/ When it feels like he should be having his fun/ Much too blind to see the damage he's done."

ELLE: Why do those lyrics resonate?

PB: I'm pretty sure that song is about ending a relationship because he cheated. I'm not saying that I've cheated, but, you know, being in an intense love with somebody while also feeling the pulls of being a young man, especially being an object of attention…. That song is basically saying, whatever happens, I still love you and want you, even if that's impossible.

ELLE: Your character on Gossip Girl was nicknamed Lonely Boy. Do women expect you to be sensitive?

PB: Some of them do. But the kind of women I'm interested in—they're smart enough not to expect me to be Dan. In fact, they probably didn't watch the show.

ELLE: Women loved that show. Was there a time you took advantage of the fame?

PB: I've had some fun nights. But I learned early on that that stuff is never satisfying in the end. There's a reason the French call the moment of orgasm la petite mort, "the little death." No matter how good the moment was, the moment after is always revealing.

ELLE: You're dating Zoe Kravitz—Lenny Kravitz's daughter. Does he play the protective dad with you?

PB: Not at all. We get along, we talk music. He took me to Harlem to see this little jazz show in the back of a church. It was just shitty fluorescent lights and a small stage piano, but this band tore it up.

ELLE: Lenny was famously celibate for three years. Could you do that?

PB: I guess? I don't know how I would fare. I'm sure I could do it. But I don't know that I'd want to.

ELLE: You and Zoe travel often for work. How do you deal with being apart?

PB: There's definitely no secret. I'd say honesty is always the best policy. There are always a lot of arguments—but even if honesty starts some, it avoids bigger ones.

ELLE: What does that mean?

PB: It means being honest with yourself, about what you want and what you need, and then being honest about what those things are with the person you're with. As an actor, being in a relationship you have this opportunity to have something really exceptional, because you don't have a regimented schedule or lifestyle. But then it can also be very warped. You have on-camera romances, which ordinarily I don't have a problem with. There are complications being an object of attention. I've found it's a double-edged sword. But I'm happy to wield it.

ELLE: Have you written a song for Zoe?

PB: I've written a song for every woman I've been with.

ELLE: Would you share a lyric?

PB: No, I couldn't. If it ever comes out and you hear it, I'm happy for you to do so. The song is a sprawling meditation on love. I'll give you that.

ELLE: Your parents divorced when you were young. How did that affect your views on marriage?

PB: I think every person's parents teach them a lot and also mess them up royally. I think their separation probably split me down the middle, 50/50. For a while I didn't believe in marriage. But I think I do believe in having a love. I'm not saying only one love ever, but in having a good, solid relationship. I think that's possible.

ELLE: Would you get married?

PB: Yeah. Eventually. I want the ceremony. I want the bond.

ELLE: If I asked all the women you've ever dated to agree on something about you, what would they say?

PB: God, that's a terrifying thought. If I could answer that, I feel like I would have the answers to all of life's questions.

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