“I am happy now; I am a worker; I love my job; I am getting paid well; I do not fall short on anything. Nowadays, I am not even stressed with the ugly situations going on in my in-laws’ house, because I am with Prateek in Bangalore, and we plan to stay here at present. However, what, if I again have to go back! What if the quarrels start over and this time even worse! Oh! My God, I can see sasuma taunting me because I am working on my kheer in my own style. I can see; she is bringing in my education and upbringing in the argument, and I am shouting, badly shouting. Oh no! not again. I do not want to go back, but what if the project in Bangalore ends! Oh! I can’t think anymore; I am stressed out,” Rashmi pondered- Story of a common housewife, Anonymous.

The question ‘what if’ is the cause of all evil in the mind.

The predictive analysis about future consequences leads to anxiety, which burdens our mind.

Even if we are good now, what if this good doesn’t last long! This is anxiety, where we keep asking some vague questions to ourselves about a problematic situation, and when there is no answer, our mind starts visualizing some horrific life images, which may be related to some past experiences.

We start panicking, sweating and worrying, which affects our mental health. Anxiety brings with it a negative vibration which is not good for physical health as well. It can raise our blood pressure and cause hypertension for some people.

Sometimes, serious problems cause anxiety. If we are scared and fear to face our fears, any complex situation can make us worried, leading to stress. Worry about new job, new married life, unstable work-life, children’s education, relocation can make you anxious.

If we can remove anxiety, we can stay a lot healthier.

Stop predicting your future. What will have to happen, will happen. You can try for a better future with your hard work and honest efforts, but ‘what if something goes wrong’; you cannot solve a messy situation beforehand, if it has to happen. Rather, if you keep pondering about what can happen bad, you will ruin your present state of comfort as well.

Well, the above suggestion is not so easy to follow. Fear of the terrible, haunts each one of us. Even though we are wise, and we know, future will bring its own elements along, we cannot stop worrying, because we feel, maybe by worrying, we can finally hit on a solution.

To feel healthier, the nervousness should be removed.

Power Pose helps a person regain his confidence.

If you stand straight with your head high, and both arms folded on your waist, for 2 minutes, this posture can infuse in you, positive vibes with which you feel powerful, and on top of the world. Actions tend to affect our emotions gravely. What we do, matters the way we feel.

Hence if we stand like a boss in our ‘Power Pose’, we feel like one, this helps brush-off the nervousness which makes us anxious.

Social psychologist Ammy Cuddy discusses in her TED video how “power posing” — standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident — can affect 20% increase in testosterone and 25% decrease in cortisol levels in the brain, and might have a significant impact on our chances for success.

She has conducted her experiments in The Harvard School of Business and concluded The so-called “power pose” is characterized by “open, expansive postures”—Slate’s Katy Waldman described it as akin to “a cobra rearing and spreading its hood to the sun, or Wonder Woman with her legs apart and her hands on her hips.”

In a paper published in 2010, Ammy and her collaborators, Dana Carney and Andy Yap confirmed that posing in a ‘high-power nonverbal display’ can change our lives and hormones resulting neuro-endocrinal and behavioural changes in both male and females- in short, high posing individuals have their head tall and hence there is an increase of testosterone levels in their brain, in contrast to low-postured stooping individuals who automatically feel powerless and nervous because of their actions.

Apart from this, high postured yoga and meditation can also help fight your anxiety.

Anxiety makes every situation an emergency, so to get instantaneous relief you can practice this posing, or you may go for a 5-minutes nap, which can dissuade the thoughts and relax your mind.

Just practice it, and you will regain your confidence. You will proudly move with a high head; anxiety will evacuate your brain, and well-being will come in.

Responses 1

Thanks for your valuable comment on the article Aweke Shishigu. It is really important what you said, and in future we can definitely find out a significant strategy for reducing math anxiety too :) But existence of anxiety is important is a disagreeable idea for me, as I believe that stress and anxiety are derogatory for your mental soundness. the more relaxed you are, the better you can perform. what I mean is, the need to succeed should be there, but the confused hasty will only make a person take incorrect decisions. In simple words, the more we panic, the more we hurry in our mind, the more our practical actions are delayed.

Why not relax on your couch with a bowl of popcorn and watch the same concert on television, whether live on air, or recorded version?

If you are a music lover, or appreciate art, that should be more enjoyable for you, to sit at home, and replay your favourite portions, repeatedly until your soul is satisfied.

Then what fun is there in standing in long queues for getting the tickets for a live show, or even sweating in the crowd on the day of the event?

There are several psychological reasons as to why we love being at live shows.

Money stands for happiness: often we have seen shopaholics who love to shop when they are depressed or bored. In fact, my neighbour next door is one of the kinds, who goes out with her purse, anytime, anywhere, once she is worried, or upset with something. Spending some good amount of money on some purchases can cheer you up, because shopping makes you feel that you have the power to choose your stuff, and spend on it without much thinking, less thinking means less stress. And the more money you spend, better is the object of purchase (at least you love to believe so).

Similarly, when you are spending money for an experience, you feel you are buying art and culture for yourself. You are choosing yourself, what you want to watch, and pay it off without thinking, so definitely you believe the live concert is a grand event. You cannot get the same pleasure at home, because you do not pay for it, especially. So, if there is no money involved, the experience cannot be that good.

Once you are spending on some experience, or in other words, you are ‘choosing’ to spend on an experience, a cultural event of art, rather than any material, you feel proud of yourself that you are finally of the intellectual class in society.

Live concerts give a person his own time, 2 to 3 hrs time, where he stays at one place, doesn’t talk much but listen, which is a rare scene in today’s busy life. Every day is a hectic movement for each one of us, and so we want a moment of recluse when we can be with ourselves, and enjoy the entertainment without interruption for some time.

Live concerts are more enjoyable because there is a common crowd. Mob tendency, remember! Man is a social being, so he enjoys more with others than alone. So if one person is overexcited and shouts out in joy to cheer the performer, the positive emotion and excitement are soon transferred to another person from him, and yet another, and finally we find the whole auditorium cheering. Emotions are contagious! Here the fun is not because the program is superb, but because people of common interest are watching it together and sharing their uplifted spirit and laughter contagiously. Because, #AliveIsAwesome.

Live shows are more popular, because they allow fans to get a glimpse of their favourite stars in real. Sometimes, if they want they can just feel them for a moment, and that gives a sense of achievement to many people.

So go ahead, spend some money to buy a quality time for yourself, rejoice in a likeable company, and keep enjoying live shows.

I wake up every morning at 7 AM, make my husband a cup of tea and sit at my office work. I am a professional mostly working in ‘work from home’ structure, well our technological innovations have made things much feasible these days.

I finish two sets of works in the first half of my timetable, which lasts until 10.00 AM. Then we have our breakfast. After about 25 minutes I resume working on my later projects, attending to the urgent issues first and the casual ones afterward.

When I speak to some of my friends, they tell me that they are having a hard time dealing with home life and work life, especially those who have children. Most of them go to the office and either complain to some folks or cry to them that their children have called them ‘bad mom’.

Well, I do not disagree that support from your home, family and society is an imperative factor for maintaining a good work-life balance, but if that is not there we have to deal with the difficulties ourselves.

I knew it from the first day that I have to be guilt free- there is no point being guilty if I cannot make a clear choice between family and profession. When I have to work, have to earn, what is the use of feeling myself responsible for any problem that comes to the family (of course that is not true), so no point punishing myself. Stop blaming yourself if your kids are not studying, or your electricity bill is not getting paid on right time.

Make a timetable, a routine for yourself, if you have a lot of responsibilities. I believe a day has 24 hours, out of which 16 hours are there for you to finish all small and big activities. Setting a proper routine will help you maintain a selective time for each work and activity, and you will hopefully finish everything without getting burdened. When you are not working with a correct format in mind, you tend to mix up things, and often linger on less important tasks.

Set your priorities right. Select the more important task first, and be ruthless about it. Clearly attend to your professional work and finish presentation documents if you have to submit a project the next morning, rather than playing with your kid, which can wait, or even someone else in the household can play for the evening. Do not be overridden with guilt because you are a working mom, and adhere to gaming with kids because they are demanding so, when you have some very important work.

Decide what you want to have. If you are satisfied with your job, and your home, you do not need to crave for more work, only for money. Take up just that much work which you can handle with passion, and that will help you maintain a healthy social and personal life, because latter is also important for good mental health.

Doing a lot and not loving any is foolish. Do as much as you want to do, both for your family, and profession.

Keep self-time. There has to be a time, when you attend only to your hobbies and entertainment or rest, do not compromise it with anything, or you will generally be stressed out.

Follow your ideologies with an upright spirit and you will never fall short on your responsibilities. You will enjoy working as well as homing.

Responses 3

Thanks a lot for your valuable opinion Anita.........I do agree that work is a significant part of life, and we love to work, if there is no work, we will be dull and bored. but the suggestion here is do as much as you want to do, and love to do. sometimes we want to work more and more, in order to get payed more...or may be adhere to something which we are not happy doing, just in order to be satisfied with the income. But when there is no job satisfaction, you cannot live happily. Secondly, when we say 'work-life' balance, by the term life, we mean 'personal life' or interpersonal relationships... Thanks again that you have given your precious time on the article.

Multitasking has been a woman's job always.... one who is at home perhaps have heavier work to do, than an office goer. women have the capability of working with 10 imaginary hands, when she has only two in actual. now that is the significance of this post, where we are suggesting, that women should focus on whichever field of task they like. If she is satisfied being a 'home manager', she can choose to be so, if she feels that her education and her abilities as a professional needs a proper platform, in that case she has full rights to explore the avenues of corporate success and the like, but at the same time she is also expected to fulfill her responsibilities towards her family and home, and there arises the question of 'balance'. here the society needs to change its mentality, which expects more than enough from a woman. its the society which burdens a woman with the guilt that if you are a professional, you are possibly not doing what you are supposed to for your house, as long as this thought process does not change, the discussion on 'balancing' will continue. mentality can't be changed in a day, so the article tries atleast to relieve the powerful women for the time-being so that they can find a way out for their contemporary problem, be it home makers or professionals. women, do not feel guilty for working or not working, just enjoy life the way you want to...

How great it would be if we could have the answer to all questions, no matter whoever says what, we wish we could tactfully answer them without hesitation.

We wish we could have the solution to every problem.

If we can actually achieve this, we can succeed a lot.

How to increase your knowledge and be a walking Encyclopaedia?

Make reading a general habit- Reading more and more books always fetches you, greater knowledge. Read as much as you can. Read 20 pages a day, and in a year you will possibly finish 7300 pages. Bill Gates is an example of such scholar, who loves to read. Reading should be on all topics, all kinds of issues.

Be inquisitive like a child- if you are in a group discussion, never hesitate to question if you are in doubt. You may appear dumb for the moment, but the clarification will give you the learning which you will never forget.

Think less about yourself, urge to know about others- self-obsessed people cannot come out of their small well, while people who are more interested to know about others, make friends easily. The reason is, they appreciate others’ diverse opinion as much as they do their own. Alternate perspectives can give you better knowledge and facts which can improve your argument in any future conversation.

Engage in collaborative learning- share your knowledge with others to get valuable feedbacks, they can help you progress in the right path, rectifying your errors.

Keep improving yourself- there is no end to learning, and there is nothing that is perfectly achieved by a human, so keep learning and keep developing yourself.

Be open to criticism- learn to take criticisms sportingly. If you are satisfied with yourself, you will never be able to achieve what is better.

Learn through games- often board games and video games teach us a unique strategy which can be implied to practical life as well, so keep your senses open to childish activities.

Watch every kind of movie, documentary and news channel to keep yourself updated on what is happening around.

Last but not the least, keep your confident self, strong- know that you are the best and not anyone else. Expect it from you, and believe that you are, then you will excel.

Always remember, knowledge and learning are never wasted. More you learn, more you will know. It is not just for certificates or professional applications, knowledge is much required for your self-growth and your day to day activities. If you keep learning, one day your knowledge will enlighten the world around you.