Selby has an unconventional variety of educational experiences (including Zen meditation, Hindu yoga and chakra therapy, theology, Reichian therapy and bioenergetics) and published works (Fathers; Kundalini Awakening) to his credit. Here, he offers a unique guide to self-discovery, self-acceptance and self-love through solitary experiences. In clear, gentle language, and with many reflective meditation exercises, Selby leads readers through an examination of their fears of isolation and abandonment, ""negative self-judgments,"" guilt, anxiety, loneliness and the pull of constant social interaction. According to him, these are the roadblocks to ""a direct encounter with your deeper spiritual presence."" He suggests recognizing the fundamental reality that ""every one of us goes through our entire life completely within our own unique bubble of consciousness,"" and he recommends making the most of being alone by ""developing a healthy, expanding relationship with ourselves."" Only then, Selby claims, can we truly love others. Recognizing the common obstacles to self-understanding, self-acceptance and self-love, he provides both empathic inspiration and specific methods for overcoming them. A chapter of personal stories is particularly illustrative of the beauty, power and problems inherent in solitude. Overall, Selby offers a first-rate handbook for the most basic of all relationships. (Oct.)