"Choose a way to show honor and respect to your
spouse that is above your normal routine. Show your mate that he or she is
highly esteemed in your eyes.”

A passage
of this chapter that really stuck with me—“But when your attempts at honor go
unreciprocated you are to give honor just the same. That’s what love dares to
do—to say, ‘Of all the relationships that I have, I will value ours the most. Of
all the things I’m willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. With
all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults—past and present—I still choose
to love and honor you.’ That’s how you create an atmosphere for love to be rekindled. That’s how you lead your heart to truly
love your mate again. And that’s the beauty of honor.”

I thought
about that passage a lot today. It would be so easy for me to do nothing due to
the circumstances, but, since starting this Love Dare journey, I have yet to
feel compelled to do nothing. To
continue to show honor and respect towards my husband, even though separated, I
will still do his laundry, cook enough food for two in case he happens to be
home to eat, and ask if he needs any specific groceries for where he is staying
when I do the weekly grocery shopping.

I am
trying very hard to not get discouraged and remind myself this is STILL in God’s
hands and ALWAYS will be to the end however it may end. I got a bad gut feeling
today (my previous gut feelings have always turned into a hurtful ‘truth’). I
think he was lying about where he stayed last night and I found a receipt for
restaurant where he paid for two entrees. Of course, I think the worse—he was
with the female coworker. I immediately ask God to shield me from those
thoughts and feelings. I have had to ask for more patience. I am headed into
week three of this 40 day journey, and so badly want my husband to read what I
am reading, see the amazing work of God as I have been seeing it, and
experience the joy of Him as I have been experiencing it. I continue to pray
one day this will happen.

Tonight I
was blasting this song that brought me to tears because of how hard its truth
hit me—

Our God is Greater – Chris Tomlin

…Our God
is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome and power

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?...

80% of what we worry about, never happens. 15% that does is no where near as bad as we thing, and the other 5% there is nothing we can do about it. So why not take that 5% leave it with Christ and start enjoying our life as He intended?

You only think that everytime you have guy feelings they are right because you only remember the times it was right. You forget about the times it was wrong.

Now, I am going to point one thing out. You want so bad for your husband to read what you are. But why? It would not mean spit to him right now. God chose you for this journey first. For a reason. It is you who will be a testimony to your husband when the time is right. This is why it is so important for you to grow in this dare.

Leave the selfish prayer out of it. That prayer right now is you praying so that your selfish desire is granted of having your marriage your way. I am not saying that is a bad thing. But right now, you do not want your marriage the way it was. Because what you are on the path of is SOOOO much better. Right now your prayers need to be for his salvation and walk with Christ. For Gods will in his life. Thats it..

Thank you for the reminder. He got home at 630 this morning wearing the same clothes he left in, so you know the first thought that went through my mind, but each time I woke up in the middle of the night I prayed for my thoughts and feelings to not go there. It is hard, but I know God hears and is listening. Appreciate the reminder!

With that said I should not bring any of this up to him correct? Just let things continue to run its course as I complete the dares?