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Tuesday, 20 September 2016

I Had An Abortion Without Telling My Husband.

Bella please
make this anonymous, I had an abortion without telling my husband.

My husband
and I have been married for a very long time, more than 20 years, we have six
wonderful daughters but he’s always wanted a male child, so we kept trying till
we had six daughters and the doctors asked me to stop as I had complications
during my last two pregnancies.

I am 47 and
my husband is 54, everyone including our pastor has talked to him that a male
child isn’t really important that all children are from God, but he wouldn’t accept
saying his lineage will be extinguished when our girls get married.

He kept
asking me to get pregnant one more time but I refused, the doctor had told me
never to try it or I might die, almost a year ago, I found out I was pregnant, I
didn’t know if to be happy or sad, I went to the doctor, he was disappointed
and told me I didn’t value my life and the risk of older women my age getting pregnant
was too much.

All I was
interested in was knowing the sex of my child, after a few months, I went for
scan and it was a girl, imagine my heartache, I was sad all through and in my
sadness I told my doctor I wanted an abortion, I didn’t want to have any more
girls, my husband wasn’t aware, I didn’t want to tell him till I was sure the
baby was a boy and so there and then I did the abortion and went home like
nothing happened.

I wish you
know the amount of guilt I feel everyday, for months I have become a shadow of
myself, I killed an unborn child and kept it a secret from my husband, how do I
go about telling him, how? I know my marriage will be over immediately I open my
mouth to tell him, please what do I do?

Talk2Bella.

I have
always said the issue of having a “MALE” child in Africa has always been
overrated and times over I have been proven right and this case is one of them.

A child is a
child regardless of its gender, when will we as a people know this, a female child
is a blessing from GOD so is a male child.

You obviously
need to tell your husband if you don’t the guilt will eat you up, tell him
about the complications the doctor warned you about and be honest with him,
tell him his expectations made you do it, he wanted a male child and when you
found out it wasn’t you made the decision for both of you.

Honestly what
you did wasn’t wrong but the way you went about it is wrong, your health was at
stake but if it was a male child you would have taken the risk of carrying the pregnancy
to term, I admire your sacrifice and the risk you were willing to take but a
child is a child and you should have trusted God to lead you to safety.

If you feel
telling your husband will alleviate the guilt you feel then go ahead and tell
him but if you feel otherwise then keep this to yourself and save your
marriage.