just like Moby Dick, but shorter and less whale-oriented.

Tag Archives: Recreation

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It was late at night when I pulled up to the stoplight. The road was dimly lit, the only light coming from a car to my right. It bounced through my windshield, showing that I had neglected to buckle my seatbelt. I don’t know why it was unbuckled. Maybe I had decided to live dangerously. […]

In the break room at work, you are bound to run across interesting conversations. More often, though, you are going to hear the same conversations over and over. The break room is not a place to break ground conversationally, lest you choose your conversational choice poorly and spend the next 40 years known as the […]

People tend to treat their pets like people. It’s just a weird fact of life. If you listen closely, every day you will hear someone refer to their dog as their “baby.” This is despite the fact that a very small percentage of these women have ever birthed a dog. These same people have a […]

Life is much harder in the morning. Even the simplest tasks can be daunting. You can suddenly find yourself staring at a shoelace as if you were facing the summit of Everest. That is how I found myself driving down I-440 with the door to my gas tank open. It started out like many other […]

I am not a needy person. In fact, there are very few things I want in life. There is one thing, though, that I have always wanted for as long as I can remember. I have always wanted a flying car. For as long as I can remember, I have added this to my list […]

A group of hikers were headed into McKelligon Canyon this week when a man jumped out of a cave, startling all of them. This is completely understandable. There are very few things I expect to jump out of a cave, and a human being is definitely not on that list. While most of the group […]

Dear Diary, Being a dog can be very tiring. As you well know, I end each day in a state of exhaustion. Sure, part of it is because of my busy schedule. I honestly have no idea how I find enough time in the day for my 14 naps. Today, though, it finally clicked. My […]

It was a dark and rainy night as I drove down Broadway. Not shockingly, my 1992 Ford Explorer does not have the greatest braking distance in history. As I came on an intersection, I suddenly slammed on my brakes. I hoped that I would be able to stop in time. There, in the middle of […]

Sometimes it may seem to people that writing on the internet is a waste of time. For the most part it is. I mean, no one really needs to read about my attempts to hold in a sneeze. (Spoiler alert: The sneeze comes out before, ultimately, my head explodes.) In actuality, though, we are living […]

Since I was a kid, I have had a love-hate relationship with cats. Most feline exchanges would play out the same way. I would go to pet the cat. “Hey, cat. I’m just trying to pet you,” I would say. For some reason, it seems like this warning should prepare the cat for physical […]