A 'Poopetrator' Is Terrorizing The Campus Of Yale University

Twitter/LondonoLauraYale students are officially living in fecal fear. An unknown suspect has been defecating on unattended laundry for the past few weeks, terrorizing the Ivy League campus. And with another, more public incident this morning, the "poopetrator" shows no signs of stopping.

The Yale Daily News reported that the "poopetrator," as he has been dubbed, has been desecrating students' laundry with feces, pee, and food waste at Yale's Saybrook residential college since early September. As the number of reported soilings increased, campus officials last week asked the local police to finally get to the bottom of the (fecal) matter.

"We have asked our students not to leave their laundry unattended, the affected machines have been thoroughly disinfected, and we are actively seeking information about who the perpetrator might be," Saybrook's Master Paul Hudak told the Yale Daily News.

Despite that police and administration presence, the poopetrator (or someone posing as one) apparently struck again early this morning. Students received an anonymous email at 3:35 a.m. alerting them to a clothesline of soiled clothing at the Berkeley residential college. The Yale Daily News compiled some unpleasant pictures of the stunt, which looks like more it would need more than one person to pull off.

There's no telling when this bizarre story will be flushed away, but in the meantime, students have been deeply affected by the crappy crisis. The Yale Daily News quoted students legitimately holding guard near laundry rooms, and one student said the poopetrator was "ruining people's quality of life."

Another female student whose clothes had been desecrated spoke anonymously to the student tabloid Rumpus about her reaction to discovering the soiled clothing: "To be honest it was mostly pure unadulterated incredulity of the are-you-fucking-kidding-me variety," she said.