ØIPC 309. Attempt to commit suicide.-- Whoever attempts to commit suicide
and does any act towards the commission of such offence, shall be punished with
simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year 1[ or with fine, or
with both.]

ØIPC 306. This abetment to suicide law is very selectively applied by
police. When a husband commits suicide blaming torture by wife and in-laws, the
police refuse to arrest the woman and her parents. However, if a wife commits
suicide, the husband and in-laws go to prison for 6 months to 2 years and are
presumed guilty until proven innocent. Is the life of a man cheap? Males are
the disposable gender.

ØIPC 304B. Dowry Death

Background:

-Thousands of men across India call SIF helplines every week. Half of them
have faced threats of suicide from their wives from time to time, if they do
not meet her unreasonable Demand’s.

-These men are scared.
These abusive wives refuse to come to a counselor or a psychiatrist. When these
young men plead to the parents of women about their suicidal nature, parents do
not take it seriously.

-These men cannot run
away from home or file for divorce, fearing that this may prompt her to commit
suicide.

-They suffer mental
and physical abuse from possessive, controlling and suspicious wives. In fact,
the society laughs at them as “Harassed Husbands” rather than helping the man
and making arrangements for counseling of such women.

-Now, this phenomenon
is getting extended to relationships before marriage as well. Being obsessively
possessive and controlling is not a sign of love.

-In short, India is sitting on a ticking time bomb
as the society refuses to recognize the issue of threats of suicide inside
marriages or in relationships. The society just behaves as if such incidents
are rare or wishes that this problem will go away on its own. Then, it
recommends revenge on the man if the woman commits suicide.

Why do
Wife’s do it?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

1.Estimated to affect
1-percent of the adult population

2.Narcissism is a term commonly used to describe those who seemed more
concerned with themselves than with others.

3.Those with narcissistic
personalities are often seen as arrogant, confident, and self-centered, but
they do not have the exaggerated or grandiose view of their own abilities that
characterizes narcissistic personality disorder

-A belief that he or she is unique or "special" and should only
associate with other people of the same status

-Persistent fantasies about attaining success and power

-Exploiting other people for personal gain

-A sense of entitlement and expectation of special treatment

-Feeling envious of others, or believing that others are envious of him or
her

-A lack of empathy for others

-An official diagnosis can be made by a qualified mental health
professional, and requires that the individual exhibit 5 of the 9 symptoms
identified in the DSM-IV

Causes of
Narcissistic Personality Disorder

While the
exact cause is unknown, researchers have identified some factors that may
contribute to the disorder. Childhood experiences such as parental
overindulgence, excessive praise, unreliable parenting, and a lack of realistic
responses are thought to contribute to narcissistic personality disorder.

Borderline Personality Disorder?

According to
the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), borderline personality disorder
is:

"a
serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods,
interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often
disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense
of self-identity."

Symptoms
of Borderline Personality Disorder

Individuals
with borderline personality disorder:

-Experience a pervasive pattern of unstable interpersonal relationships and
have difficulties with moods and self-image. Impulsiveness is also extremely
common.

-Often have intense episodes of anxiety, depression and irritability lasting
from a few hours to several days.

-May direct anger outward in the form of physical aggression, but may also
engage in self-destructive behaviors such as drug abuse, eating disorders or
suicidal gestures. These behaviors are often intended to manipulate others.

-Usually have poor self-identity that leads to overly intense relationships
with others. These interactions are generally filled with conflict, and the
individual with borderline personality will vacillate between idealizing other
people and undervaluing them.

-Tend to become angry and frustrated when other people fail to meet unrealistic
expectations.

Paranoid (Suspicious) Personality Disorder

Individuals
with paranoid personality disorder typically experience:

-Chronic and pervasive distrust and suspicion of others.

-Feelings that they are being lied to, deceived, or exploited by other
people.

-May believe that friends, family, and romantic partners are untrustworthy
and unfaithful.

-"Magical thinking" including saying they can read minds or can
foretell the future.

-Major difficulties in forming relationships.

-Severe social anxiety that does not diminish with time or familiarity.

-May talk to themselves, ignore others, or react inappropriately.

Schizophrenia

Borderline personality or bi-polar disease

-When someone in
your life has borderline personality disorder, things can get out of sorts very
quickly.-One out of every 10
people with BPD dies by their own hand. More, of course, make an attempt. The
presence of other conditions like major depression, substance abuse, and eating
disorders seems to magnify the likelihood of actual suicide.

-What do you do,
though, in situations like those above, when the suicide threats appear to be
an attempt to scare you or make you do something you don't want to do? When
this happens, your sympathy and concern may begin to dissolve into anger and
resentment. People on the receiving end of these threats feel extremely guilty,
confused, and worried.

-Sometimes your family
member will try to make you believe that you are responsible for their misery,
and that you will be to blame if he kills himself.

What Not To Do

Don't fight. Don't get into an argument
with your BP about whether he or she is serious about wanting to die-even if
you're angry and feel like venting. He may attempt suicide simply to prove you
wrong

Don't confront your family member and accuse
her of manipulating you. Again, this may
turn into a power struggle. If she is asking you to do something that is
against your better judgment, follow your instincts. However, if the two of you
are in a session with a mental health professional, it can be helpful to talk
about how this behavior is making you feel.

Don't give in to threats. Be extremely cautious about
relenting just to prove that you really care. You and your partner will not be
happy in a relationship in which one of you stays because of emotional
blackmail. In the long term, your loved one won't be happy in a relationship
with someone who doesn't want to be with them. They need to get better before
they're ready for a healthy relationship. It is likely that the same scenario
will repeat itself again and again.

Seek help for yourself. If you have a
history of complying with demands because you believed that suicide was
imminent, get professional help for one or the both of you before the next
crisis occurs.

Our
Demands:

1.Government must bring
checks and balances to all laws related to suicide, like abetment to suicide
and dowry deaths.

2.Government must make domestic violence law gender neutral
and protect men from wives and girlfriends, who threaten suicide every now and
then.

3.Suicidal women must be forced to undergo counseling and
treatment.

4.All laws must be made gender neutral and both genders must
be treated in a fair manner.

5.The society must take steps to curb misandry. It is
challenging, because it is too easy to blame and stereotype all men citing
incidents of rape or other crimes against women. Such misandry will vitiate
gender relations.

6.It must be ensured
that, men’s rights to liberty, dignity and basic human rights are not snatched
away in the name of empowering women

An interesting decision
has come along recently by the Supreme Court of India in the case of Pankaj Mahajan v. Dimple @ Kajal Civil
Appeal No. 8402 of 2011, case which was concerned with the issue of
divorce. Interestingly, after this case, a person will be able to get a divorce
decree if other spouse is threatening former of committing suicide. And, the
same can be categorised under cruelty. In the instant case, wife-respondent was
suffering from schizophrenia which husband-petitioner was not aware of. And,
wife was suffering from that particular disease even before marriage, and she,
after marriage, on several occasions had threatened her husband that she would
commit suicide. Instead, she once tried to end her life but was eventually
saved on the timely intervention of her husband. Husband left his parental home
in the hope that his wife will abstain from becoming aggressive, but no
fruitful result came out. He intimated the same to his mother-in-law and
consequently filed a petitioner before the District Court of Amritsar which
decreed in favour of husband. But, the order of the district court was reversed
by the Punjab and Haryana High Court because of which the matter came before
the Supreme Court under civil appeal.

Section 13, of the Hindu
Marriage Act, 1955 can be read as – (Only
Relevant Portion)

13. Divorce (1) Any marriage solemnised, whether before or after
the commencement of this Act, may, on a petition presented by either the
husband or the wife, be dissolved by a decree of divorce on the ground that the
other party—

(i-a) has, after the solemnisation of the marriage, treated the
petitioner with cruelty; or

Husband came to know
about the mental condition of his wife only after one month of the marriage,
and same was intimated to her father. Reports presented before the court made
in clear that wife had undergone treatment but doctors have not certified her
to be entirely mentally fit. Supreme Court refuted the reasoning of the High
Court where high court had opined that mere mental illness cannot be considered
as a sufficient ground for seeking divorce without appreciating the reports of
the doctors. All the doctors who submitted their reports before the court
called the diseased suffered by the respondent-wife to be incurable.

Reasoning of the Supreme
Court while rejecting the opinion of the High Court can be read as follows –

“It is clear from the above that the respondent-wife was not of
sound mind and she did not look after the household work rather she used to
give threats to commit suicide. She did not even make food for the
appellant-husband and he had to arrange the same from outside. Apart from this,
she used to embarrass the appellant-husband before his landlord's family and
because of her weird behaviour and threats to commit suicide, the
appellant-husband was forced to leave the rented accommodation. Madan Lal, the
landlord, PW-5 has also highlighted several instances when the respondent-wife
used to quarrel with her husband and he had to face humiliation in front of
others because of her behaviour. Inasmuch as PW-5 was living in the same house
on the ground floor and the appellant-husband and the respondent-wife were
living on the first floor, the said witness being the eye-witness to the
cruelty meted out by the respondent-wife to the appellant-husband, as he had
himself seen the behaviour and the activities of the respondent-wife including
humiliation and threats of committing suicide, cannot be thrown out. Under
those circumstances, the observation of the High Court that the statement of
PW-5 is only hearsay is liable to be rejected.”

Supreme Court further
stated that –

“It is well settled that giving repeated threats to commit
suicide amounts to cruelty. When such a thing is repeated in the form of sign
or gesture, no spouse can live peacefully. In the case on hand, the
appellant-husband has placed adequate materials to show that the
respondent-wife used to give repeated threats to commit suicide and once even
tried to commit suicide by jumping from the terrace. Cruelty postulates a
treatment of a spouse with such cruelty as to create reasonable apprehension in
his mind that it would be harmful or injurious for him to live with the other
party. The acts of the respondent-wife are of such quality or magnitude and
consequence as to cause pain, agony and suffering to the appellant-husband
which amounted to cruelty in matrimonial law.”

Divorce was consequently
granted to the husband.

FREQUENTLY
ASKED QUESTIONS:

QUESTION: My
Wife giving me regular threats of committing suicide to me and my
family....what to do in this kind of situation? Please help....as i'm going
through a terrible mental situation.

REPLY: There is typically an issue behind those
threats. Try to find out the root cause. She may also need to be
taken to a psychiatrist for counseling and evaluation, as soon as possible. This
could simply be a medical problem.

There are two ways to seek
help by you in your presented facts before us:

One – She is suffering with border line personality
and actually such BPD people 1 in 10 do
commit suicide if not immediately helped.

A bench of Justices P Sathasivam
and B S Chauhan said: "Giving repeated threats to
commit suicide amounts to cruelty. When such a thing is repeated in the form of
sign or gesture, no spouse can live peacefully."

Majority of the problems lie
under your "One" above, a sort of borderline personality or bi-polar
disease. A proper evaluation by psychiatrist and efforts to treat such
issue have two outcomes. 1. She has been cured and 2. She has not been
cured.

If she has been cured, go
celebrate and live happily ever after. If she has not been cured, then
you have medical evidence for such issue.

Based on media reports and alleged
suicide note of Jiah Khan, 22-year old Suraj Pancholi was arrested and sent to
jail for committing the crime of abatement to suicide. We have to understand
that such laws do not exist in other countries in the world. Is suicide a
solution to break-ups or separation? Jiah Khan attempted suicide 8 months ago
and nothing was done to ensure that she does not repeat it. It is absurd to
assume that all human relations will remain everlasting in this age of modernity.
Finally, women are portrayed as victims, and men as abusers.

Suraj Pancholi
is not alone. Thousands of men across India call SIF helplines every week. Half
of them have faced threats of suicide from their wives from time to time, if
they do not meet her unreasonable demands.

These men are scared. These abusive
wives refuse to come to a counselor or a psychiatrist. When these young men
plead to the parents of women about their suicidal nature, parents do not take
it seriously. These men cannot run away from home or file for divorce, fearing
that this may prompt her to commit suicide. They suffer mental and physical
abuse from possessive, controlling and suspicious wives. In fact, the society
laughs at them as “Harassed Husbands” rather than helping the man and making
arrangements for counseling of such women. Now, this phenomenon is getting
extended to relationships before marriage as well. Being obsessively possessive
and controlling is not a sign of love.

In short,
India is sitting on a ticking time bomb
as the society refuses to recognize the issue of threats of suicide inside
marriages or in relationships. The society just behaves as if such incidents
are rare or wishes that this problem will go away on its own. Then, it
recommends revenge on the man if the woman commits suicide. Home Ministry
(NCRB) data says, 24% of all suicides in India are due to Family Reasons and
3.4% due to failed love affairs