'Swedish Dads' exhibition is 'practically porn' for stressed mums

Australia's fathers are getting ready to be feted by their families next Sunday with Vegemite-plastered toast in bed, hand-drawn artworks from the kids and guilt-free time in front of the idiot box from their wives.

The very next day, Aussie working mums and dads will head straight back to work, where another less joyous celebration will take place.

Monday September 4 marks this year's "equal pay day" – the extra time from the end of the previous financial year that women must work to earn the same as men.

But I have a thought: if we celebrated Aussie fathers properly every day of the year, we might just get to a point where equal pay day fell much closer to the end of the financial year and much earlier in the year than fathers' day.

What if, instead of focusing on getting more women into power suits and pumps, we shifted focus towards getting more men into vomit-splattered trackie dacks and baby slings?

There can be no doubt there is a revolution under way among Australian men. We are living through the most radical step-change between generations in terms of what it means to "father".

Many young men now have the expectation that they will be more intimately involved in their children's care. But change is slow, and fewer are actually achieving it.

Indeed, according to the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development, just one in 50 Aussie dads takes paid parental leave in addition to the standard two weeks.

Engineer Fredric Janson, 34, and his partner took four months' leave when their son son Ossian was born. Credit:Johan Bavman

Is it any wonder?

In popular imagination and on every cinema screen, dads who take on caring responsibilitie are invariably portrayed as bumbling, inept and emasculated – just all kinds of wrong.

It is often said that women can't be what they can't see – CEOs and leaders. But the same is true for fathers.

Enter an exciting new photographic exhibition coming to Australia next month aimed at reshaping the way we see dads.

"Swedish Dads" is a series of intimate portraits of men on parental leave with their children and the work of Johan Bavman, a Swedish photographer and father.

"During my own paternity leave, I had trouble finding information about parenting from a father's perspective," he recalls.

And that's in Sweden – the first country in the world to replace "maternity leave" with "parental leave" in 1974 and where today, dads take roughly a quarter of the total number of leave days available to couples.

And they're doing a good job. Yes, there's an element of chaos. But the men appear calm and contented. They're getting it done.

The photo series is practically porn for all the time-poor, over-stressed working mums of this world.

Says Bavman: "From reading and seeing other dads who share their thoughts and ideas about parenting, perhaps more men will start to think about their role as a father and as a partner. I think that is an important step on the road towards a more equal society."

Emma Walsh is the founder of Parents at Work, a return-to-work training service for mums and dads which helped organise for the exhibit to come to Australia, together with the Swedish Embassy.

Walsh says Millennial parents – both mums and dads – want to do things differently, and employers should take note: "Australian workplaces must ready themselves for the new wave of 'millennial' employees who are caring for others, expected to shake off out-dated cultural norms around the definition of 'family', 'working flexibly' and 'sharing the caring load' as they rise to meet the challenge of being both main breadwinner and caregiver – in equal measure."

As the Avenue Q puppet show famously sang of racism, it's also true that everyone is a little bit sexist, sometimes. And sexism cuts both ways when women are seen as incapable of holding powerful positions and men incapable of delivering appropriately sensitive care.

But if we want a more equal society, we need to encourage men to lean out, as much as women lean in.

Not only would it help women achieve their career ambitions, but it'd be good for dads too, according to Dr Bruce Robinson, a lung cancer specialist who will also speak at events linked to the Swedish Dads exhibition.

Dr Robinson has heard more than his fair share of the regrets expressed by the dying. And the regrets of men, in particular, hit home.

They're unanimous, he says: "I did not spend enough time with my kids. I spent too much time at work." In response to his experiences, Robinson founded The Fathering Project, which provides tips and support for dads to get closer to their kids.

From a public policy perspective, it's time we implemented "daddy quotas" for paid parental leave and encouraged employers to offer "bonus months" for dads.

Over-stressed mums would be happier, distant dads would be more connected, and children would flourish from the support of two equally attentive care givers.

And maybe, if we became the sort of society that defined success not in terms of power, money or status, but by how deeply we loved, and how present we were for those around us, we'd not only be a happier society, but a more equal one.

The Swedish Dads exhibition will show at Barangaroo Towers, Sydney from September 5-29.