Susan McDonald: Work on your happiness quotient every day

Stop waiting to be happy. Work more proactively to create it within you.

By Susan McDonaldSpecial to The Journal

I’m still in the “fresh slate” phase of the year, where everything seems possible and the options for improvement are endless. What I’ve been thinking about lately is about happiness and being happy.

I know it is possible to be happy in any station, at any phase. Happiness didn’t evaporate when I left my 20s, 30s or even 40s. It didn’t magically appear or disappear when I moved, my children grew, my spouse changed.

The reason is because happiness is within us always. It may be tempered by life’s challenges, deaths, financial or emotional losses, but it’s never depleted. In my experience, I’ve discovered ways I can move my happiness meter by:

Knowing my limits. I am cranky when overextended and there’s usually no one to blame but myself. I say yes when I shouldn’t, agree to go somewhere, cover a meeting, bake or fetch something for a gathering, or another task that topples my to-do list. I have started to say no and not feel too badly (feeling badly defeats the purpose!).

Radiating happiness. One of my favorite weekday moments is when I stop for a coffee and say “good morning” to people going in and out of the shop. It’s simple but makes me feel lighter, especially when I see the surprise on someone’s face as they respond. I like paying strangers a compliment for the same reason. If I like the waitress’ nail polish or outfit, I’ll say so. I know it makes my day when I’ve received such remarks.

Avoiding pettiness. There was a time when perceived injustices would irritate me for days, niggling at the back of my memory. The result was I was always on the verge of arguing, ready to pull an example from the recesses of my mind. I have struggled to overcome this habit, which is a drain on my happiness. Mentally keeping track of someone’s foibles doesn’t harm them, it harms me. I’m Elsa now and I let it go.

Going for it. There’s no time like the present to enter a craft show, visit that museum, have coffee with an old friend. We have a finite amount of time on our calendars, but we also have a finite amount of time on the earth. Instead of waiting for the perfect opportunity, I’m trying to just do things. If I make it a priority, it will happen.

Appreciating the little things. If we’re letting go of the negative, we have extra room to appreciate the small joys in life. We can all find them, whether it’s a warm robe on a cold morning, a barista who knows your order, or the way the sunlight reflects on autumn leaves. When you train your eyes — and your heart — to see these things, you can feel happier.

Seeking happy people. During the election, there were so many negative social media posts on both sides that I actually unfollowed people I’d known — and liked — for years. I did not want to experience that deluge of negativity. Happiness is so important in our lives that we must surround ourselves as much as possible with people who exude it.

I’m not exactly a Pollyanna but I’m trying to work on my happiness quotient a little bit each day. I’ve stopped waiting to be happy, or waiting for negative things to stop happening. Instead, I started working more proactively on recognizing and creating happiness within me.

— Susan McDonald juggles marriage, motherhood, stepmotherhood, volunteer work and a full-time job. She can be reached at Sewsoo1@verizon.net.