Annoyed by our roommate ..

I’m a stay at home mom. I’m cleaning the house everyday. And when I wake up to dirty dishes that aren’t mine or my fiancé’s or sons I get so annoyed. Our roommate leaves his dishes there and doesn’t come back to clean them.. He doesn’t help clean. He doesn’t pay for the light bill (that’s definitely going to have to change since he’s always home in his room with the tv, fan, and light on). Just renting a room out. His tv or music is always loud. My fiancé is the sweetest man alive. He’ll make everyone dinner and invite the roommate to eat but then go straight to his room to eat. I’ve noticed he leaves dishes in the room for days. He drinks most of our milk. I didn’t have a problem with that but now I do. I get WIK. I’ve been wanting to give the extra milk I get to give to my sister. But since he drinks most of the milk here that’ll mean we’ll be out fast. I don’t wanna be that annoying roommate. My hormones literally make me wanna snap on this guy. My fiancé is used to living with other people. Not me. I grew up not having roommates living with us. So I’m still new to all this. My SO (significant other) isn’t so bothered by it since he’s always working and never home. Should I sit down and talk to our roommate? What do I say without sounding rude?

Comments (10)

talk it over with your SO (significant other) first. explain to him that you need to be together on this. figure out what roommate needs to pay for the electricity-you can't have the roommate pay for the whole place, unless he agrees as part of his rent. then explain he needs to buy his own food/milk. perhaps provide a minifridge(dorm room styles) in his room. but he buys his own stuff to stock it. Talk about the dishes at least getting returned to the kitchen daily. noise hours where he can have his tv up, but then quiet hours. just like an apartment. you guys have kids after all.

after you and SO (significant other) figure the terms, have a sit down with roommate. have him sign a written agreement of the terms.

hopefully it goes well.

do you guys need a roommate to help with bills? or is it just kindness from SO?

DH (dear husband) and I had a roommate the first couple months of our marriage...definitely was annoying 70% of the time. We always had our own groceries on separate shelves but when mutually shared items ran out, like dish soap or milk, in your case, I made an off-hand comment like, "Hey Jessie, we're out of milk would you mind picking some up next time you're out?" and follow it up again with a reminder text when I knew she was out-and-about so she couldn't say she forgot. Then we just took turns buying if it was something like dish soap. For other items, I noticed she stopped using it if I tried to make her pay for it when the item was gone (like my butter) I've never had a roommate push back when said in a very passive way like that, hopefully yours is the same way! Going into a roommate situation we always made an agreement to split bills "3 ways". My husband and I paid 2/3 of all bills, she was responsible for the other third. We all thought this was very fair. Maybe you could bring it up by saying, "Oh no, the electric bill has been creeping upwards since fall has begun. Are you able to start contributing a third for the electric bill to account for all of our usage here?" or even just ask him what he's able to contribute to the monthly bill (to make it seem like "no" isn't an option) Goodluck!!

talk it over with your SO first. explain to him that you need to be togethe...

Last edited
11/30/2018

talk it over with your SO figure the terms, have a sit down with roommate. have him sign a written agreement of the terms.

hopefully it goes well.

do you guys need a roommate to help with bills? or is it just kindness from SO?

After my miscarriage months ago I quit my job due to depression. When I got another job opportunity my car got broken into and stolen. My job and daycare were 20-25 min away from our place. 1 hr & 30 min on bus. My SO (significant other) didn’t wanna have me bus with DS (dear son) in the cold and pregnant with LO. So that’s when we both agreed on having a roommate to help with the rent bill.

After my miscarriage months ago I quit my job due to depression. When I got a...

Last edited
11/30/2018

After my miscarriage months ago I quit my job due to depression. When I got another job opportunity my car got broken into and stolen. My job and daycare were 20-25 min away from our place. 1 hr & 30 min on bus. My SO in the cold and pregnant with LO. So that’s when we both agreed on having a roommate to help with the rent bill.

If that’s the case, just set up rules with the room mate. Like no dishes in the sink. It’s pretty easy if he’s renting. If he doesn’t like the rules, get a different room mate who knows the rules to begin with.

DH and I had a roommate the first couple months of our marriage...definitel...

Last edited
11/30/2018

DH and I had a roommate the first couple months of our marriage...definitely was annoying 70% of the time. We always had our own groceries on separate shelves but when mutually shared items ran out, like dish soap or milk, in your case, I made an off-hand comment like, "Hey Jessie, we're out of milk would you mind picking some up next time you're out?" and follow it up again with a reminder text when I knew she was out-and-about so she couldn't say she forgot. Then we just took turns buying if it was something like dish soap. For other items, I noticed she stopped using it if I tried to make her pay for it when the item was gone (like my butter) I've never had a roommate push back when said in a very passive way like that, hopefully yours is the same way! Going into a roommate situation we always made an agreement to split bills "3 ways". My husband and I paid 2/3 of all bills, she was responsible for the other third. We all thought this was very fair. Maybe you could bring it up by saying, "Oh no, the electric bill has been creeping upwards since fall has begun. Are you able to start contributing a third for the electric bill to account for all of our usage here?" or even just ask him what he's able to contribute to the monthly bill (to make it seem like "no" isn't an option) Goodluck!!

I was also thinking splitting it in 3 since there’s 2 of us and 1 of him. He moved in the beginning of October. I don’t feel it getting any easier I always worry about when LO (little one) arrives & we’ll end up being so squished in a room when there’s 4 of us in it.

If that’s the case, just set up rules with the room mate. Like no dishes in...

Posted
11/30/2018

If that’s the case, just set up rules with the room mate. Like no dishes in the sink. It’s pretty easy if he’s renting. If he doesn’t like the rules, get a different room mate who knows the rules to begin with.

I was also thinking splitting it in 3 since there’s 2 of us and 1 of him. H...

Posted
11/30/2018

I was also thinking splitting it in 3 since there’s 2 of us and 1 of him. He moved in the beginning of October. I don’t feel it getting any easier I always worry about when LO arrives & we’ll end up being so squished in a room when there’s 4 of us in it.

I feel your pain...we found out I was pregnant in August and started making plans to find out own place because in a two bedroom with the pets...we knew we were asking for a ton of stress and frustration once baby came. We finally got our own lil place this month and are so grateful...I hope he will agree to your terms peacefully so the rest of your pregnancy can be stress free ❤️

First off I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Its stressful as it is just being pregnant. I would just set ground rules. If there are dirty dishes he should contribute to wash them too or have him buy paper dishes for his personal use (I hate dishes sitting in a room for days) have him buy his own food/drinks. You are not responsible for his food. If he doesn't want to share a fridge have him buy his own mini fridge (my FIL (father-in-law) did this he rents a room) he would take care of it since he spent the money on it (suggest getting one at Wal-Mart they are about 120 or even second hand you are not responsible in providing one in my opinion).

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