My Deathday— The Unsinkable Andrew Griffin by Ken Monteith

Ken Monteith also made a delicious and deadly Queen of Sheba cake with Skull and bones decorations.

The Unsinkable Andrew Griffin

Once upon a time there were some boys who took some acid
Went outside to go to drink and bumped into a bastard
Mouthed off as he passed by and he really wasn’t flattered
If his girlfriend hadn’t held him back we’d both be battered!

Went across the world in a tin can to learn a language
Ate some doubtful things, and yet in bathrooms did not languish
Braved the transportation and emerged without a blemish
Model worker back to Canada and culture shockage

Dance card chock-a-block for years, there’s barely time to rest it
Big ones, small ones, “straight” ones, gay ones, really have to test it
All of these without disease or physical accident
Super trashy hedonistic, but knows how to do it!

Super angry pugilistic driver with psychosis
Cuts you off, you touch his car, he gets out and busts noses
Even with the witnesses, reporting it was pointless
Road rage altercations can be scary in their closeness!

Now we come to challenges of foodies and nutrition
Gourmet meals, but let’s try to include some vegetation
Mix it up and toss it in a bucket for consumption
Slow it down and concentrate upon your mastication!

Comes a time when all of this will bounce back just to haunt us
Crack your noggin once too much and you will just be concussed
Luck runs out and deftly dodged big problems come home to roost
Acid flashback, syphilitic, choking on a bread crust!

— Ken Monteith, 2013

This year I decided to do something different for my birthday; I decided to celebrate my death. The end result was an incredible evening of poetry, song, storytelling, drawing, conceptual art, chocolate cake, laughter and a whole lot of love. Over the next several weeks I will be posting the results.