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Tuesday, February 18, 2014

10 Things You'll Learn About Him When You Live Together

I want to make sure you understand that I’m in no way saying it’s right
or wrong to live together before marriage.That’s not for me to judge anyways.

I’m simply pointing out 10 things
you’ll discover about him that are good to know before you take the marriage
plunge or buy a home together (if you haven’t already).

Sure, a lease is a commitment, but
marriage and a mortgage are steps above that so the last thing you want to do
is buy a house AND marry a guy that doesn’t have his crap together.

I wrote this post because a lot of people ask me what I think about
them moving in with their boyfriend.

Some of these are things I put together from my own experiences or from
the experiences of people close to me.

1.How (or if) he pays the bills.

When you live together you get an up close look at how someone handles
due dates for rent and bills.Will you have to remind him every month when one’s due or does he track
that on his own like a big boy?Does he have a hard time coming up with the money or does he budget each
month so he can pay each bill?This is a side you don’t often see when you live separately, because
it’s kind of each person’s “own business”and you generally do it on your own time.

2.His Spending Habits.

This is the perfect opportunity for you to see firsthand how your guy
manages and spends his moola.Does
he buy every single new gadget and DVD out there?Does he even buy groceries?Does he carelessly waste electricity and water or
crank the AC up 24 hours a day?Remember, when you live together you usually have to split the bills so
you don’t want to be paying more than necessary just because he’s frivolously
throwing money out the window.

3.His Cleanliness

When you don’t live with a guy, he has the opportunity to make sure his
place is tidy and anything BUT a health hazard when he knows you’re coming
over.But, when you finally
live together, he can’t hide it for long.If you find yourself coming home to a Dorito crumb covered couch with
papers scattered on the coffee table and an overflowing trash can, that could
be a red flag.Does he wash his
clothes and clean up after himself in the bathroom?If you notice you need a breathing mask just to
come home from work, it’s time to talk to him about what needs to change, and
if he “can’t change” his ways, then start looking for your own place!

4. His independence, or lack thereof

Living together will certainly prove how dependent he is on you if he
can’t remember anything on his own.This can apply to grocery list items, bill amounts, due dates, trash
nights, and more!Can he
take care of himself or are you playing mom?Well, you’re about to find out!

5. His Grumpy Side

Everyone gets grumpy from time to time and it’s pretty much “normal” to
a point.When it starts to make
your home miserable to be around, then it’s getting out of control.If you’re guy is miserable every single
morning to the point where he’s snapping at you, it’s time to look at the big
picture…it’s not just a case of
the grumpies but maybe a bad attitude and poor communication skills.You of course need to respect
each other’s space even when living together but you also need to make sure you
aren’t taking things out on each other because it’s not fair to the other
person.As Jeff Foxworthy would
say… Here’s Your Sign!!!!

6.His Quirks

You may think you know your guy, but it’s not until you spend every
waking moment at home with him that you notice the majority of his quirks. Maybe you can’t stand the way he
arranges dishes in the dishwasher, or that he always leaves the toilet seat
up.This is a great chance for you
to see little things that you can address so they don’t become bigger problems
down the road.Some things
however, you will have to accept and change YOUR thinking about so you can
tolerate them; things like how he hums in the shower, the goofy socks he wears
to bed, or the fact that he puts ketchup on everything he eats.If you can’t compromise to resolve or
accept these quirks, then you guys are already heading down the wrong path!

7.The freeloaders he calls friends

This is where you’ll discover which of his friends are freeloaders and
which are true homies.Freeloaders
may stay on the couch the majority of the weekend or until you kick them
out.You need to be able to have
alone time AND to keep up with housework, so friends can’t be dropping by
unexpected when the two of you are living together.This is where you’ll have to agree on terms, like telling
each other when you expect someone, and making sure the guests know the “house
rules”.And if you stay on the
couch more than 2 nights a week, you better start paying rent! This is the
point where you’ll learn how to deal with these types of people or if you can
even deal with them at all.

8.How overbearing his family is

Does his mom come over every other day to bring a home cooked meal?
That’s sweet and all but it can certainly get to be a bit much if you live
there with him.Say goodbye to any
private time if that’s going to be a regular occurrence.Also, if he can’t make any décor
decision or maintenance fix without asking the opinion (not just assistance) of
his family, you’ll certainly notice how attached he still is.

9.How helpful he is

If you’re sick, does he run the errands, and clean the place, or is it
still left for you to take care of?If something breaks, does he fix it or do you have to ask him 5
times?This is a great way
to see how much he can pitch in with daily duties as well as how handy he can
be when it comes to using a screwdriver or hammer.

10.How lazy he is OR isn’t

It’s okay to lounge around on rainy days, but if he’s sleeping till
noon every day, leaving messes and clutter EVERYWHERE, and doesn’t take care of
the home or himself… it will become clear as day once you live together.If he can take initiative to get
shit done, GREAT, but if not, you better address that now because a full size
house is way more work for just one person (you) than the apartment you share
now.

7 comments:

OMG I loveeeee Jeff Foxworthy!! I am seriously reading your list thinking "Hmm... what a nicely composed list" then out of no where I just cracked this huge smile when you mentioned Jeff Foxworthy! :) It is an excellent list and things that should seriously be taken into consideration if you live with someone. Thanks for sharing :)

These are true and great things to consider! Little quirks are so interesting to find out and I just love that you mentioned how the fill the dishwasher because the way Tyler does it just drives me nuts, haha! Still love him anyways : )www.amemoryofus.blogspot.com

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