We gathered wood from a cabinet maker. A creative. The shop smelled of machines and sawdust. He showed us wood from his childhood oak tree. He made a desk for his son with some of it. He dreams of making him a bed someday and wonders if his son understands the importance and meaning woven into it. I told him his son would grasp the depth of beauty even more as the years roll by. He looked around the shop and told us that this is what he is put here on earth for. We drove away and talked of his words.

Proof that I am simply here and quite moving forward. Daily. My quiet corner in the midst of a not so quiet house is where the moving forward is schemed when my corner of the ocean is not to be presently sought out for such things.

as i look at the two pictures i took today,
i notice they are both things that keep us.

lighthouses keep ships from dashing upon the rocks in tumultuous seas or in the dark.
lifeguards keep beach dwellers safe,
beach dwellers who thought they were having a dandy time along the shore’s edge
when all suddenly changes to ones worst nightmare.

i am comforted that god puts lighthouses and lifeguards
in our lives and the lives of our children
for we tend to be frail souls in danger,
sometimes from the trials that storm us from the outside,
and sometimes from the inner struggles that we bring upon our selves.

i am presently thankful for a few of those saving graces in my own life.
i do not take them for granted.

and i marvel at the idea
that even when the seas of life are calm
the lighthouse and lifeguard are still there
standing firm and tall
maybe even to simply remind us that it will not always be so.

therefore i will enjoy the calm in this day
and also trust amidst its stormy moments
knowing i just need to lift my eyes a bit
and i will see my help.

my boy will always be able to say
he went surfing with his mom when she turned fifty.
i even caught my first two for-reals waves.
he saw it
and was as excited as i.

my dad told me today
that his fifties were his best
and i have a lovely friend who can’t wait to be the age of fifty.
so i am determined to grow and change and blossom
with this new season.
it is unknown ground,
for i no longer have little ones that fill my every moment,
giving each day purpose.

i will not be given to fear of doing things
or being alone
or things not turning out OK.
i will not be afraid of playing.
i will continue to be real and have faith and love.
i can always love.
and i will do it all one minute at a time.
one choice at a time.
one picture at a time.

like today when i made the choice
against all inner churnings
to hit the waves with my boy then take one simple whimsy picture.