Corkcicle, The Wine Temperature Controller You Don’t Really Need

This is the Corkcicle, and it’s here to save your wine. The Corkcicle is an artificial icicle which you insert into your red or white wine to keep it at the right temperature, all the way to the last drop.

It sounds like a great idea. Red wine won’t overheat in the summer, and white wine won’t get too cold when left in an ice bucket. But then the problems start to show.

First, you’ll need to chill down your white wine first — the Corkcicle, even when taken straight from its home in the freezer, won’t actually do this. Second, you need to tip out enough wine to give the Corkcicle space inside the bottle, and this thing looks like it displaces about a quarter of a bottle.

And third, it costs $23 and doesn’t do anything you can’t do already. If you are drinking red in hot weather, put it in the refrigerator for half an hour before opening. If you need to chill white in a hurry, put it in a bucket with lots (and I mean lots) of ice, add a little water and a handful or two of salt. The salt will let the liquid water stay below 0˚C and the wine will be ready in minutes. It’s a waiters’ trick, and it works great.

Finally, if your bottle of wine lasts long enough to heat up or get too cold before you finish it then — frankly — you’re doing it wrong. Either give up on the booze altogether or learn to drink properly.