Every kitchen has an invisible layer of regenerative cling film on the kitchen floor, so after feeding time you simply whip it away and boom, the mountain of crumbs is gone. No crawling on your hands and knees or dust pans and brushes required.

The TV remote also has a child mode with a volume button (no more wheels on the bus at 6am on a Sunday morning after your first night out with the girls); a pause button (for when you need to get a few jobs done, have a wee, or sit down and enjoy a cuppa without it going cold); a rewind button (to enjoy and re-live those funny and special moments); a fast forward button (to zoom past those whingy, tantruming, and generally difficult moments); a play button (making the children in your life happily sit and play without a single utterance of “That’s mine“, “I was playing with that!“, “Mummy he’s/she’s playing with my toy“); an info button (a synopsis explaining the baby/child’s current mood, thoughts, and feelings); a help button (used to provide useful information on how to resolve any meltdowns and general issues with minimal fuss); and a record button (to make a permanent record of all the magical times we’ve shared with our little people, so we can reminisce in years to come).

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Published by ColleysWobbles

ColleysWobbles aka Gemma lives in Yorkshire with her two young boys and very understanding husband. She loves writing and doodling about the rollercoaster that is life...wobbles and all. You can find her on Twitter @colleyswobbles Instagram @colleyswobbles and on Facebook Colleyswobbles
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Very creative! My favourite is the doorway forcefield, but I also wouldn’t mind if I could just say ‘no’ once and have immediate obedience. More likely to win the lotto in this case, I’m afraid! #kcacols

Hahaha, brilliant and I think your illustrations are fantastic too. And Channing would be very easy on the eye. If he could be in every programme too like Mr Tumbles etc then I would be one very happy Mummy 🙂 #bloggersclubuk

What a fun post to read Gemma!! I hope we can have all of these things, that would be fab!! lol Can I please get one of those remote controls? I really need one ASAP!! lol Love your drawings, really clever!! Thanks so much for sharing this awesome post at #KCACOLS. I’m so happy to have you here for the first time. I hope that you like and it would be lovely if I can see you again on Sunday! 🙂 x

Oh my goodness, I think I have fallen in love with your blog! Loved it…loved the illustrations! I was giggling all the way! I could relate to everything you said – now the cling wrap is a brilliant brilliant idea!

This made me laugh out loud I can relate to all of these although I think the tv remote is my favourtie!! Great drawings too. Thank you so much for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again next week xx