Complicated grief is an intense and long-lasting form of grief that takes over a person's life. It is natural to experience acute grief after someone close dies, but complicated grief is different. Complicated grief is a form of grief that takes hold of a person's mind and won't let go. People with complicated grief often say that they feel "stuck." For most people, grief never completely goes away but recedes into the background. Over time, healing diminishes the pain of a loss. Thoughts and memories of loved ones are deeply interwoven in a person's mind, defining their history and coloring their view of the world. Missing deceased loved ones may be an ongoing part of the lives of bereaved people, but it does not interrupt life unless a person is suffering from complicated grief. For people with complicated grief, grief dominates their life rather than receding into the background.The term "complicated" refers to factors that interfere with the natural healing process. These factors might be related to characteristics of the bereaved person, to the nature of the relationship with the deceased person, the circumstances of the death, or to things that occurred after the death. People with complicated grief know their loved one is gone, but they still can't believe it. They say that time is moving on but they are not. They often have strong feelings of yearning or longing for the person who died that don't seem to lessen as time goes on. Thoughts, memories, or images of the deceased person frequently fill their mind, capturing their attention. They might have strong feelings of bitterness or anger related to the death. They find it hard to imagine that life without the deceased person has purpose or meaning. It can seem like joy and satisfaction are gone forever.View Thread

This is a good resource for the friends and families of people who have taken their own lives that I'd like to share.

Here's also something I received that I wanted to share below, it really gave me a new perspective and opened my eyes to some things I didn't see I have been doing.

~SHARING IS CARING: I'm sharing this post from a Second Firsts email from CR, and I know that some of you will not yet be ready to hear this, but I feel it's important to offer hope and different perspective for when you do arrive at this stage.

What if I told you grief is addictive, even though it is something we did not ask for, or wanted in our life? What if I questioned your need to shed your identity of loss from your life? Would you question this email? Would you stop reading? Would you protect your grief even more?

Before you make any decision let me explain... When we have been hit by grief, and we have no choice but to go through this horrible world of pain and helplessness we learn new ways of surviving. We learn to live within the darkness. We learn to use our loss as our first name.

We learn that we had no choice but to feel hopeless. And we are told that there is nothing we could possibly ever do to feel better, as time is the only way out of this pain. So while we wait for time to heal us, we got comfortable within our grief.

We looked in the mirror and we only saw uncertainty married with a disadvantaged life. Somehow the image in the mirror is now used to living in this space with dimmed lighting, merely surviving and making the most of what little life has left behind, on its way out the door.

But guess what happens during the time of grieving? New habits emerge that were never there before. New beliefs are being cemented in your brain about who you now are. You create this story of a new life.

You write the story of a new you, using the proof that has surrounded you. Out of necessity grief moves in, but out of habit grief never moves out.

Don't make the mistake, and forget that life is more than just pain, more than just surviving. Don't become addicted to living your life hiding in the darkness under your identity of your loss.

Life can be more addictive than grief. But it has to be lived, experienced and felt once again. Will you turn on the lights in your life by choosing life over your grief? ~View Thread

For patients and caregivers alike, a chronic illness or life-threatening health condition presents an array of tough questions and challenges. From the physical to the emotional, WebMD's palliative care center is here to help.View Thread

My brother lost his battle to cancer last week. For the past year he basically was a human pin cushion. He went thru the bone marrow transplant and rejected. In a strange sense I am releived that he is out of his pain. He passed away on my moms birthday. My younger sister was murdered a year ago and the guy that did it still walks free. My older sister commited suicide 23 years ago. My heart breaks for our Mom. I am the only one left. My Mom wants to take it out on me and I am avoiding her. I know its not right, but its the only way that I can cope. I can't handle her screaming at me. I wish I could change things, but I can't. In a sense I am angry at my siblings, because they left me with this mess. I'm trying to figure out how to move on. I have many wonderful friends that have helped me. But yet my Mom will run them into the ground. I wish I could wake up from this bad dream.View Thread

A friend of mine died in her sleep one week ago today. She was only 29 yrs old. The autopsy said she had a swollen brain, and low blood-sugar. She was not dignosed with anything before she died. How did she die? I want a lable. I need to know there was a reason why her children are without their mother.View Thread

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