How to Help Your Teen Throw a ‘Project X’ Party

Your son or daughter feels anonymous, ignored, left out and a part of his or her high school’s group of unknown, unappreciated and utterly unpopular kids. Well, based on the new movie, “Project X”, I am offering tips on how you can help your woeful child be “cool for one night.”

“Project X” is a new movie that premiered on March 2nd…just in time to plant a seed in the minds of desperate teens everywhere for Spring Break. Here’s a description of the movie from the “Project X” website:

“Project X” follows three seemingly anonymous high school seniors as they attempt to finally make a name for themselves. Their idea is innocent enough: let’s throw a party that no one will forget…but nothing could prepare them for this party. Word spreads quickly as dreams are ruined, records are blemished and legends are born. “Project X” is a warning to parents and police everywhere.

In the film, the three boys, a nerdy, unknown bunch, get in over their heads as a mass of kids show up for their party and mayhem ensues. Already we’ve seen real life, like-minded copy cats all over the country, including Houston. Just this week, some 300 to 600 partygoers showed up to a bubble and foam party in a Houston vacant mansion. This party distinguishes itself as resulting in a fatality as one young man was shot in the head when a number of partygoers opened fire.

And this party is not the first Project X copy-cat in Houston. One group of teens pulled off one party to the tune of over $100,000 in damages, but were caught while in the process of putting on another one. A teen in Florida posted an invitation to a Project X party with a YouTube video that showed the vacant house, which he “decorated” in preparation for the party. According to ABC News, those decorations– spray painted “Project X” on the walls and “break me” on the windows– caused $19,000 in damages and resulted in the arrest of the party planner on burglary and vandalism charges before the party ever took place. And even though the party was cancelled, over 2000 people showed up.

These parties are popular. If your teen is feeling socially invisible and decides to throw a “game changing” party to raise his or her social stature, here are ways you can help:

Step One: Leave your teen at home while you go on vacation over Spring Break.

Step Two: Give them a high quality video camera so that they can post their invitation and pictures of your house on YouTube.

Step Three: Clean all of your large trash cans so they can be filled with spiked punch.

Step Four: Leave your fine furniture and expensive breakables out and in plain view so that there are plenty of things for partygoers to break and throw through your windows. If the house is empty, just ship in rocks!

Step Five: Call in from your resort location to make sure your kid is “set for the night” and when you hear mayhem in the background, like cars being driven into the pool, ignore it.

Bonus Advice: Hire a lawyer upon your return.

This is all you need to do. Easy. Rest assured that your desperate-to-be-popular teen will do the rest…consequences be damned!