I am not normally one to argue with things that have been scientifically proven, but I was extremely dubious about a new study that demonstrated that women are aroused by luxury sports cars. Then I noted that the women involved in this test were only played recordings of car engines, and were therefore spared the ardour-dampening sight of the preening, self-satisfied driver of said vehicle, who believes, erroneously, that driving a flash car will lead people to believe he has a personality. And when I say "personality" I mean "big penis".

Bleeding obvious

Men: a question. We all know that premenstrual tension can be a bitch but are things really so bad that you're all turning to new website pmsbuddy.com to keep track of our cycles so you can duck and cover at the appropriate moment? ("Saving relationships, one month at a time!") Gents, for real, barely any of us are hormone-crazed lunatics who need to be constantly monitored. Try keeping track of when we're upset using this site and you may find that oftentimes it's not a question of our puny female minds being flooded with irrational chemicals; it's actually that we're, you know, upset. You don't need to be scared: women are almost exactly like normal human beings, really.

Posh comes up trumps

Victoria Beckham's new clothing collection was unveiled at New York Fashion week a couple of days ago to cautiously warm praise. I feel strangely gratified on her behalf. Face it, if most of us had her life we'd be lying in LA eating biscuits and playing with our real life David Beckham doll, not fiddling around with toiles and flying back and forth talking to sneering journalists about our endeavours. God loves a trier, and so do I. Also her new haircut looks ace.