Cinedigm
Destin Cretton captivated festival audiences with his short film Short Term 12 in 2008; now, five years later, he has expanded his film school thesis into a full-length feature. The result is at once heartrending, tender, and strikingly funny — just like, you guessed it, life. And that's the beauty of Cretton's film: its rawness, its honesty, its truth.
Hollywood.com spoke with Cretton about his personal experiences working at a foster care facility much like the film's Short Term 12 as well as finding the perfect cast — which includes Brie Larson, John Gallagher Jr., Keith Stanfield, and Kaitlyn Dever — to bring this intensely personal story to life.
Note: This interview contains plot spoilers for Short Term 12.Go see the movie — immediately — and then come back and read this.
Hollywood.com: I loved the movie, as I am sure you are hearing a lot today, and other days.Destin Cretton: It would be great if someone started off by saying, "I hated the movie. Here are some questions."
There is a movie I saw recently — thank God I wasn't doing the junket, because it would have started out like that! But I just wanted to start at the beginning. I was at the BAM Q&amp;A, where you said that this movie kind of sprung from your personal experiences. I'd love to hear about that, and then your process of turning those experiences into this movie.It was my first job out of college. I stumbled into this because I couldn't get a job anywhere else. I had a friend who was working at this place, doing overnights. He said they were hiring. I didn't know what I was getting into until I was in it. I didn't realize how intense it was going to be. How scary it was going to be. I was terrified for the first month. I was very similar to that novice Nate character in the movie — so naïve, so idealistic. In an unhealthy way. I quickly — well, not quickly — realized that the way that I was thinking about it was so wrong. That even though I did have good intentions, there was a part of me that felt like I was the savior, I was the one who was going to help, I was "above" these kids. That was my biggest lesson that I learned while working there. All humans are the same.
Working there was like holding a mirror up to myself, and seeing so many things about me that I had to deal with, and I had to work on, that I was struggling with. That showed me how similar I was to all these kids. Once I was at that place, my relationships with them became very real — once they saw that I was looking at them with equal human respect. Those questions and those things that I was dealing with stuck with me. That experience stuck with me. Still, it is imprinted with me. It stuck with me all the way through film school. Those four years later, when I did my thesis film — which was the short version of Short Term 12 — that was the first time that I tried to organize some of those thoughts into a cohesive story.
The short premiered at Sundance, and I won the Jury Prize, and took it around to festivals. The continued, repeated surprise of that experience was how many people were connecting to this world who knew nothing about it. And that was, I think, when I started to realize how universal these situations and emotions and themes that are wrapped up in this world are. And that was kind of an inspiration for writing it as a longer piece.
And how did you decide what to pursue further in the feature versus the short?A lot of it had to do with [the fact that] I just don’t like repeating myself. Just because it's boring. I don't want to do the same thing again. Mainly for my own entertainment, I guess, I change things. The most obvious change between the short and the feature is that the main character is a male supervisor in the short and a female in the feature. That one change just trickled through everything. Even scenes that are really similar to the short became brand new scenes. And the challenge of writing from a female perspective was terrifying enough to keep my interest. [Laughs] It felt like a brand new story at that point.
And you obviously gathered this incredibly talented cast together. Was it a relief to find everyone and find out they were awesome?I can't even tell you what kind of a relief it was. And I can't tell you how stressed out I was during the casting process. I knew from the beginning that the movie lives and dies with whoever we get. If we get the wrong people, the film wouldn't work. I was so stressed on some of these roles. Thank God we had [these actors]. Brie [Larson] was the first piece of the puzzle. And then John [Gallagher Jr.] came on. They both came on fairly quickly, which was a big relief. But then going through all of the other kids… Oh, it was so stressful. It wasn't like we had a ton of resources or we had a lot of time for casting. We did not, for any of these roles, have an A-B-C option. It wasn't like, "Oh, they're all pretty good!" It was just nobody, nobody, nobody, and then the perfect person comes in. And our schedules! It was like, if we don't figure out how to work her into our schedule, I'm screwed! And it was like that for most of the kid roles.
The kids were all fantastic.I know. I'm so proud of them.
I was surprised to look up Brie's age after the movie and see how young she was. The fact that she plays a teenager in The Spectacular Now — in which she is a contemporary of Kaitlyn [Dever]'s — is so crazy to me. Was it ever a concern that she would be too young for the role?There was definitely a concern before I met her. [Laughs] I had seen her in some interviews, and she is extremely mature. What is she, 23 now? So, interviews gave me hope. But she is so good at playing drastically different characters. And all of them have been teenagers, I think. All of them, right?
I think so. I don't know what she plays in Don Jon, but mostly teenagers.Mostly teenagers. And she's so good at it. So, that was definitely a wonder of mine until I Skyped with her and saw how smart she is. And thoughtful and introspective. Her insight into this character… I was immediately so excited to see what she would do.
Brie was telling me about the envelope of icebreaker conversations that you made for her and John before their first dinner. What inspired you to do that?I don't know. I did it for my previous film, where we also had to quickly create a family with three actresses and an actor, a brother and three sisters. And I did the same thing — I sent them on a hike with an envelope. It's just very specific topics to talk about, all related to the emotions or the themes of the movie they're doing together. It worked there a lot. Some of it is things they should really be talking about and that are really into the theme. Some of it is just the act of answering a vulnerable question in front of somebody. It creates trust and intimacy. Honestly, it's like, "I hope this works!" It takes really good actors to run with it and make it work, so I'm glad that they did. [Laughs]
No, it's a great idea! There are two things that are really interesting about this movie to me. The first is that, though most of the characters have happy endings it doesn't feel cheesy. Were you worried about giving everyone a happy ending?Yeah. It kind of depends on your definition of "happy." I do think that for this particular movie — I mean, the short film doesn't end happy, so I'm not like, "Every movie has to have a happy ending!" — for this particular story, it was important for me, personally, to end on the upswing. I think the theme of the movie is very apparent that it is not going to stay in the upswing. The movie is about the ups and downs of life. And that love is more than a feeling. And that love is not fleeting — love is walking through shit with somebody. I also, personally, believe that happiness is as much a reality as darkness and tragedy. In this world, working at that place, I had some of the saddest, most tragic moments with people there, and I also had some of the happiest, most blissful and hopeful moments there. I wanted to portray both as honestly as I could. The moments of bliss in this movie, I think those characters deserve them. I've got to give them this. I think that anybody can see that we're not saying that they're going to live a perfect life from here on out. I do think that there is so much hope in the human ability to choose to try. I think that's what the happy ending is for all these characters — they are choosing to try, and choosing to keep moving forward and survive. You know that they are going to continue going through shit and happy moments until they die.
Definitely. I was also very impressed by the fact that there were a few times in the movie where I felt like there was the potential for it to take one step too far into melodrama.Yeah, there's a lot of those moments.
But you resisted them every time! Which was incredible. The one that stands out in my mind is when Grace goes to Jayden's dad's house with the baseball bat — that could have gone very poorly. And then, obviously, Marcus could have not survived his suicide attempt. I was relieved and very happy that it resisted that. Were you ever tempted to go into that super heavy territory?Yeah, there's always the temptation.
Not that what you have isn't heavy...It is! But there's always the temptation to do too much. To think that an audience needs more. They need more intense music, or they need more explanation, or they need more tears — more of an obvious emotional thing. That's a huge temptation. That was a lesson that we constantly [learned] as we were showing the film to friends and then test audiences, rooms full of strangers, which we got to do through the editing process. We learned and relearned how smart audiences are. Any of them. Audiences that you wouldn't expect to be smart are so smart. Collectively. Their brains just unite and they understand subtlety. Even audiences that aren't used to watching indie films. We were constantly seeing that they don't need that music cue, they don't need that explanation. We just kept stripping things away. Which is the type of movie that I like to watch. There are still some things that we should have stripped away! [Laughs]
I don't know, I thought it was great. A theme that a coworker of mine noticed — that I didn't notice, but that I think is awesome — was how much sea life and ocean imagery is in the movie, what with the octopus story, Marcus' fish, and the aquarium. Was that conscious? Were you trying to build a motif with that?It kind of just happened. Maybe it was something I was weirdly obsessed with at the time. [Laughs] It kind of naturally came out, maybe a little too much. We pulled back on it. But I wasn't like, "This is going to be the symbol of our movie!" But there is a lot of natural connection to the idea… there are so many connections that I still see. We weren't consciously trying to create metaphors, but there are a lot of emotional connections between the idea of drowning and being surrounded by water. Depending on how you look at it, it can feel suffocating and horrible, or it can feel weightless and free. And also, the idea of being in a wide-open ocean and being in a tiny aquarium. I think all those themes are connected to themes in the movie.
I like it, and I thought it was subtle. And another thing that shows up again and again is the artistic expression that kids are using as an outlet. The music, Jayden's drawing, the bracelet that Grace makes. I'm wondering how you feel about artistic expression as an outlet.Thank you for asking that question! I think it's incredibly important. For anybody, I think it's incredibly important. Whether you think you're good at art or not, I think it's important to stay connected to who you were when you didn't care if you were good or not. You would just do it because, I think, it's a good thing for us to do. I've never met a kid who doesn't like to explore with their hands or explore creatively. For people who aren't good with words, or aren't so great talking out their feelings — and I know exactly what that feels like — I think art can be a way to do that. I've found it with a lot of the kids that I've worked with, that was a way that they chose to communicate. If you weren't picking up on that, then you'd miss a lot of what they were trying to say. But I think that's something that is… unfortunately, because so many people tend to see art as something for "artists" — I think everyone should be called artists or there shouldn't be that title — it can unfortunately be seen as an intimidating thing to do, or something for kids. But I think it's really healthy. It's as healthy as exercise and eating fruits. That's actually something that we're going to be encouraging through our website and our Tumblr. We're connecting with other organizations that are specifically targeting kids in the foster care system, but also just people, teens who would like to have a place to share personal art things that they're working on. A little gallery where you can show some of things where you can have positive interaction and encouragement. That's really important to me.
Short Term 12 opens in limited release Friday, Aug. 23, and nationwide Aug. 30.
More:Brie Larson: 'Oscars Don't Happen to Normal People'The Miraculous 'Short Term 12' Is Heartbreaking and Hopeful 'Short Term 12' Cast Reflects on SXSW Grand Jury Prize
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Cinedigm
Short Term 12, which tells the story of a foster care facility and those who live and work there, is less a movie than it is a living, breathing thing. And its beating heart is 23-year-old Brie Larson, who plays supervisor Grace. Larson's performance is a quiet, introspective tour de force. She is able to tell Grace's story — which includes a secret history of abuse and an unyeilding compassion for the kids she looks after, in particular, 15-year-old Jayden — with few words; her eyes and body language say it all. So it's no surprise that Larson has already found herself in the middle of some well-deserved Oscar buzz (which we may be guilty of propagating).
When Hollywood.com sat down to speak with Larson, it was instantly obvious that she and Grace are worlds apart. While Larson shares her character's passion, Larson is a loquatious, charming young woman immune to the effects of the industry and unaware of how much attention she is about to receive. Oscars? "That doesn't happen to actual people," she tells us. She is in for the best kind of rude awakening.
Hollywood.com: Are you aware how huge this movie is going to be?Brie Larson: It's really a strange thing. I've asked since South by South West — that was the first time I noticed it really clicked with people — I asked everyone to not tell me anything because I just want to be ignorant and just enjoy the individual experience — to be open to it and to experience it and not feel like people are observing me or expecting me to do anything. So I haven't read anything; but there's been a few people who have slipped up to me and have said from blah blah blah article this was said. But I have no idea, I feel like none of this makes any sense to me. But it will make sense maybe a year from now, or maybe when I'm 60. I just don't know what happens after. The whole time, I keep going, "What does this even add up to or mean?"
It means you should maybe start looking for an Oscar dress…That doesn't happen to actual people…
It happened to Jennifer Lawrence!Yes, and she is on Team Human. Even her, I feel, she's a larger than life figure at this point. And I don't do that, I still shop at Forever 21. It's all really exciting. That's what I keep texting my mom. We've been doing this for a while and I don't understand it, but at least it makes my mom really proud and excited that I'm being recognized for something that I've worked hard at. I didn't go to college or even graduate high school properly, so this is my one.
I think what it comes down to is that this is a movie that really hits home for a lot of people. And it's not that people have necessarily experienced these things in their own lives, but it's a very human story. With that in mind, what part of this story particularly appealed to you? Or was it just the whole shebang? I feel like the film means so many different things to me and the more I've watched it the more it opens up to me as to what it is. I think at first, when I'm first reading a script you can't help but focus and hone in on the character you're potentially going to play. Because it's all about, Do I know this person? Can I honestly play this person? How do I go about doing it? Do I feel comfortable in this situation with these people to play this role? You're analyzing the whole thing. So even while shooting it, I was seeing everything through Grace's perspective — because I had to. I was her. So I think for me at the time I was very interested in playing a woman who had a hard time communicating and being able to hone how much can be expressed through film without saying anything. And how hard it is. I think we do these reveals in movies all the time where someone opens up about something. But really? It's hard to talk. It's hard when things get emotional to tap into that and recognize what you're feeling and be able to correct it. So I thought that was an interesting aspect of filming, of myself to explore.
But then the more that I've been watching the film, and the longer it's gone on, I think the bigger thing for me and for Grace is accepting that you're of good things, that you're worthy of love and loving others through the process. And I think that's a really powerful human thing — and that's what you're saying. And I think that's exactly why the film hits people in this really really intense way because it's not like we're showing it to a bunch of people who've been abused or in foster care. We have had those people [see it], and they relate to it in one way. And then there are people who've just loved something and have had it taken away from them. That's the essence of the whole thing: the beauty and the flaw and the struggle of being a human being. The day-to-day stuff. The connections we make and the misconnections we make. The things we wish we would've said, and the things we wish we could take back from saying. And the power that we have as humans over each other to influence each other and to change the course of our life and our actual genetic structure.
You mention that before you signed on to do this project you really wanted to make sure that you felt comfortable with the people as well. What was it like working with the final cast and crew? It was the best. Truly, the best. It was the most fun and the most loving group of people I've worked with, which says a lot. I just don't think that I could've done what I did if I hadn't felt totally loved and supported, first as Brie the human being and then second as an actor in a movie. And that we were all trying to make this art project really good. I realized how important it is when you feel like you're given the space and the credit to do something that allowed me to feel comfortable exploring not winking to the camera or giving these things that were clues to be people, "Hey I actually do know what's going on in Grace's head!" I was able to do something that was much more subtle and with very little concern for the camera. It was really freeing for me to not do hair and make-up and to wear my own clothes mixed with Destin [Cretton, the director]'s sister's clothes. And just have it lived through, and not have it feel any different from when I was cooking dinner and talking to my boyfriend when I got home.
And what was it like working with John Gallagher Jr. specifically? You two are so close in the film and it looked so natural.It was great. You know, those things are so strange. A lot of people have been saying to me, ''You must've know Destin for a really long time and John before you started shooting." And to be honest, we just didn't. We didn't have that luxury. Luckily, we're all just really open people, and you know pretty quickly when you meet someone, "This is a person I can trust," or, "This person I don't really like." And I really loved every person on this film. I feel like I'm just, through this [press tour] process, getting to know who John is and who Destin is. And the person I've learned most about is Keith [Stanfield] because he, at the very beginning, before we started shooting, said, "I just want you know that Marcus doesn't trust [Grace] so I can't trust you. I don't want you to be offended but I'm not going to talk to you or hang out with you on or off screen." He never made eye contact with me. Even on the last day of shooting, there was only one seat left at lunch and it was at the same table as him. And I thought, "Whatever it's the last day." He instantly go up and moved and I was like, "Wow, really? Even the last day?"
It's not until this really amazing experience of us getting to fly and travel together and sit next to each other on long flights that we're actually learning who each other are. Because up until that point it was all within the context of this other world, and these other people and this story we were trying to tell. John and I had one dinner before we started shooting, and Destin did this really amazing thing, because he knew that John and I were getting dinner, and so he dropped off an envelope at John's place that John didn't know about until he walked out the door. It said, "To Brie and John. Don't open it until you get to the restaurant." So he shows up, it was our first time meeting, and he was like, "I got this thing." And I was like, "Is it a scavenger hunt?!" We opened it up and it had a cute little note from [Destin] and bunches of pieces of paper that were conversation starters. It was brilliant. And it was like, "What are your fears about being a parent?" to "What's your most vivid childhood memory?" to "What's a trauma you feel comfortable talking about?" "When was the last time you felt alon?" and "What do you think Grace and Mason's first date was like?" "How long have they been together for?" So without us even realizing it, we were learning how to communicate with each other, learning about each other, learning about the characters, learning how to bounce ideas off of one another. It was so easy and we didn't have to have that weird thing where you're forced to go, "Well we gotta like each other, so let's just do it." It was a very natural thing. It was really great.
This may sound strange, but I was surprised after I saw the movie how young you are in real life. Were you purposefully playing Grace to be older? Did you have an age for in your mind or in the script?I think maybe Grace was supposed to be older on the page, but I'm 23 and I got cast. I don't know. I think it's something about — and I'm surprised because I don't have make-up on or my hair done — that there's something about her that seems ageless. I feel like there are some times when I watch it I look like a child and others I'm like, that's a woman.
She's lived a lot of life.It's that and I also think it's the assuredness of her voice and the way she has to at times bark orders at people. And it sounds convincing, which is a really important thing for me, that it didn't sound like I was a child whining at people. I was really concerned with the tone of my voice when I was talking. I had to practice because I wasn't used to being forceful like that. I had never talked to anybody, let alone kids, in the way that I had to in this film.
Grace obviously has a lot of intense moments in the movie. Were there any scenes that were particularly difficult for you to film or that you were worried about filming?I mean, I was kinda worried every day. But, I mean, that was the fun of it. I read the script obviously many, many times. And it was not until I was shooting that I realized there's no light thing. Theres no kinda like, oh that's a whatever scene so I can walk through that one. So you get through the day pretty much being an actual social worker. So I get home and they're like, "Oh you have a 7 AM call tomorrow." And I look at what we're filming and it's like, You know I can't do it, there's no way. But for the most part I was pretty good at getting into Grace and understanding what her mental space was like, and then understanding what my own mental space was like and making sure that there was a big differentiation between the two.
But there was one day where I went home really shaken. It was the day that we ended the day with Brie finding Marcus trying to hurt himself and I personally have an aversion to blood. My dog broke a nail once and I fainted. I just don't deal with looking at it well, it makes me queazy. And Keith is a very good actor, and it was very jarring to go through the motions of discovering this thing and trying to save his life then watching his eyes roll to the back of his head. It really freaked me out. And that was the only time I don't remember leaving set — I don't really know how I got home. I had a lot of people from set that called because they were concerned about me driving home. That was the only time when I got home I wanted to scrub myself and — I wear my hair parted on the side but Grace wears it in the middle. That was the only time that I went home and had to brush my hair to the side to do the physical change of, That's not real life and thank goodness. It's like when you have a dream that feels so real, and when you wake up it still screws with you. You just go, "I felt it, though, it seemed like that happened." Even though it didn't actually happen. But other than that, pretty much everything else was very clear to me.
And in order for me to go to those places, I enjoy having a rapport with the crew. I think it's an important part of it because we're doing this whole thing together. I didn't want to seem like a self-centered actor where every day was me getting all tweaky in the corner and me not paying attention to anybody else and "gotta capture this whole wild animal" sort of thing. So I just decided from early on to be clear with my boundaries and just say, "I'll let you guys know when I need my space." So there were certain scenes where I was like, "I'm going really far deep under water. You're not even going to recognize me because it's not me anymore and I'm probably not going to remember this afterwards, but I'm going to go there. And then I'll let you know when I come up for air." Destin was kind of like the guardian angel, the air tank at the top of the water. And I'd swim down and then he would say, "We got it! Come up for air!" and then I'd swim to the top and then we could look at the tapes. You know, and it's me again.
You have three big festival movies coming out this year — Short term 12, Spectacular Now, and Don Jon — and all of them feel very different. I know you've been trying to avoid the feedback, but doing the press for them, hearing the reception, how has it been for each distinct movie different for you?It feels really surreal that the three movies that I did not only made it into festivals but have all been really well received. They're all very different and all of my characters are very different. That's really cool, and that's just the dream. I don't know, I mean, I feel like I'm just pinching myself a lot right now. It was quite tough this morning because I woke up in this very comfortable hotel bed and had coffee delivered to me in my hotel room. And I felt okay saying, "Yeah I'll pay $10 for my coffee because it got delivered to my room." I actually cried about it. I can't believe it. I'm just too cheap. I'm cheap. I bought this shirt at a thrift store! So it's a fun little vacation.
Short Term 12 opens in limited release Friday, Aug. 23, and nationwide Aug. 30.
More:The Miraculous 'Short Term 12' Is Heartbreaking and Hopeful 'Short Term 12' Cast Reflects on SXSW Grand Jury Prize 'Short Term 12' Is a Small Movie With a Big Impact
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Taylor Swift (or at least her team) knew there was trouble as soon as a middle-aged man won her "Biggest Fan" contest, hosted by Boston radio station Kiss 108. The station clearly didn't mean the word "biggest" literally.
According to The Huffington Post, a 39-year-old man won the sweepstakes — which featured a grand prize of meeting Ms. TSwift herself — after trolling Reddit and 4chan for votes. His stated goal was to sniff Swift's golden locks on camera. Which is gross.
Kiss 108 announced the contest's cancelation on its website with the statement, "Disappointingly, we have determined that the integrity of the 'Taylor Swift's Biggest Fan' contest has been compromised. In accordance with our contest rules, effective immediately, the contest has been terminated. We apologize to all of our loyal listeners who have participated."
We know we've complained about Swift acting too young for her age before, but this is the other extreme. Middle-aged men should never use Internet deception to entrap 23-year-old women — like ever.
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More:Interview With Creator of Hilarious Feminist Taylor Swift Twitter YouTube Thinks Taylor Swift's Lyrics Are Absolute Nonsense Taylor Swift Grossed Out by Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez Kiss
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Oh my goodness, that was wonderful. Book readers have likely been waiting for the final moments of tonight's Game of Thrones — "Walk of Punishment" — since this season started, and in my humble opinion the "dismemberment" of sorts was absolutely perfect. (SPOILERS AHEAD)
Because when you think about it, Jaime Lannister's sword hand basically is his member. More than that — it's been his entire identity. When you're called "The Kingslayer" across an entire Kingdom, that hand becomes the most infamous, feared, talked about thing about you. He cannot own land or take a wife (for good reason given his romantic choices) — his sense of self-worth has always come from yes his face and his money, but mostly his ability to either kill important people or keep them alive. The money and the looks were given to him, he earned the rest. But in just a few f**ked up seconds all of that was taken away from him, and I was sad to see the credits roll because man, I can't wait to see what happens next. I cannot praise Nikolaj Coster-Waldau's take on Jaime Lannister enough in these things, and dammit I am not stopping because let me have this one thing.
But more on this later, because saving the best for last is fun. Instead, let's go brood with the Starks!
Riverrun: Welcome to Riverrun! Birthplace of Catelyn Stark and home to the lamest noble house sigil in Westeros, the fish. Robb, Talisa, and Catelyn made a pitstop to Riverrun to put Catelyn's late father Hoster to rest via viking funeral, and we learned right away that her Uncle Brynden is sort of a badass while her brother Edmure is the family clown (though no one can be worse than her breastfeeding enthusiast sister Lysa), as Edmure A couldn't shoot the arrow into the damned boat, and B had ignored Robb's instruction to wait for Gregor Clegane to come to him, and instead attacked him at the Stone Mill which had no strategic value whatsoever and lost a ton of men.
"I could have that head on a spike by now," Robb said of the man called the Mountain, leaving his boyhood manners behind to discipline his uncle. "Instead, I have a mill." Edmure protested that he'd captured two whole Lannisters at the mill, but this just made Robb even angrier. These were not important Lannisters, they were the Lannisters that maybe got an invite to a family function every ten years when Mom decided on a whim that they should spend more time getting to know their cousins. No one cares about these Lannisters.
And that has been your weekly five minute Robb Stark update, ladies and gents.
In Catelyn news, the perpetually greiving mother got some alone time with her wise old uncle, and she seemed relieved to be hanging out with someone who isn't Robb. Uncle Brynden, who has always been called "The Blackfish" which is apparently an insult, it pretty sweet. He comforted Cat, who finally let loose and sobbed over the supposed deaths of Bran and Rickon.
Meanwhile, we got to meet the captured, towheaded little Lannisters, who quizzed Talisa on the growing legend of Robb Stark — "He eats the flesh of his enemies!" Aww. The poor kids were so nervous. It's sad to see innocent, perfectly non-Joffreyesque children being locked up in dungeons far from home as a byproduct of war, but you have to remember that the Lannisters would have probably murdered a pair of Starks of equal value.
King's Landing: Speaking of mean Lannisters, the old one decided to hold a meeting with King's Landing's most trustworthy quintet, Tyrion, Cersei, Littlefinger, Varys, and Grand Maester Pycelle. Cersei pointedly moved her chair directly next to her father, which was obnoxious, then Tyrion loudly moved his to the other end of the table, which somehow managed to be awesome because it annoyed Cersei. Anyway, today's meeting topic was Jaime. Tywin was not happy that there had been no news of his son for weeks, which just means that Brienne had been doing a good job. (Until she wasn't.) "Collectively you control more spies and informants than the rest of the world combined. Do you mean to tell me that none of you has any notion of where he is?"
So, yeah. As you can see, Tywin was pissed. I would be too if I had my claws on Jaime than lost him. That man is goddam perfection. In other news, Roose Bolton still had control over Harrenhal, which Varys gleefully rubbed in Littlefinger's face. And in much much bigger news, Littlefinger was now betrothed to the aforementioned crazy person Lysa Tully, He would head to the Eyrie, that crazy castle in the sky that almost killed Tyrion, and become Lord of the Vale. So, now we know where he's planning to take Sansa.
Also, Tyrion was to become "Master of Coin" in Littlefinger's absence, a position he was not too excited to fill. He was good at spending money, not saving it. So to get some laughs off, Tyrion headed over to Littlefinger's funhouse with Bronn and his squire, Podrick Payne. But don't worry, Tyrion wasn't cheating on Shea — he went to check out some books from Littlefinger's library, and buy some women to take Pod's manhood as a thanks for saving him in battle. This scene was just madness. A bunch of women just writhed all over him and one literally stuck her vagina in his face, while Pod stood there terrified to Tyrion and Bronn's endless amusement.
Pod came back a while later, but gave Tyrion his satchel of gold back. Did he wimp out? Not quite. Instead, the women GAVE PODRICK HIS MONEY BACK. "What did you do to them?" Tyrion asked in shock. "Lots of things," he replied matter-of-factly. Bronn actually seemed pretty distressed that the young squire was able to pleasure several working girls so well that they didn't want to pay for it, so he and Tyrion sat the lad down for details. Honestly, they probably could have spared some time by just pulling down his pants.
Arya &amp; Friends: Thoros of Myr now knew that Arya was a VIP Stark bitch, so he didn't let her and Gendry leave him and his Brotherhood Without Banners as he'd promised last week. It's not safe for a Stark lady in the woods, he said, but we knew he wanted her for something else because only the Starks and Davos Seaworth aren't liars on this show. So Arya and Gendry took off with the Hound and the Brotherhood, but lovely Hot Pie decided to stay behind to bake bread for the innkeeper.
The Boxcar Children goodbye scene was actually sort of sweet, even though I was never in any way attached to Hot Pie. But he baked Arya this cute little messed up loaf of bread, which was cooked with caring and served with a side of emotional resonance. It was adorable, and the Stark Bitch was clearly touched. "Don't get stabbed," Hot Pie said to Arya and Gendry, who TRIVIA ALERT also stayed behind as a smith in the books. Do you think the actor's handsome-ness has anything to do with the fact that he's sticking around now? No? Just me?
Mance Rayder's Army: So, this was fun. When we first caught up with Jon, Mance and Ygritte this week, they had come upon a bunch of mutilated horse parts frozen in ice in a perfect pinwheel position. Insert Luck joke here. Also, thank God the Dothraki weren't around to see this mayhem, or PETA. It was NOT cute.
See, this was the "Dead Crow" spot that the Warg had seen last week, only none of the crows were actually there. Their pieces, either. And you know what that means — there are now 300 more Walkers in the vicinity, ready to EAT JON SNOW ALIVE. Mance was having none of it, and decided to send Jon, Ygritte, and a bunch of his pals to cross the Wall. If Jon betrayed them, they were to throw him off the top of damned thing. "See if crows can fly," he explained. Can Jon and Ygritte start having sex now? I'm bored. This has been your 45-second weekly Jon Snow update.
Craster's Cabin: Well, Sam made it back to Craster's School of Incest and Wizardry without dying in the ice, so that's good. Craster seemed to be in an even more dickish mood than he was last season, but Sam didn't care because GILLY! Craster even made a really tasteful fat joke about eating Sam, which makes me think him and Rebel Wilson shared a brainstorming session before the MTV Movie Awards, but all was better when Sam got like a foot away from Gilly's vagina. (She was giving birth. To a BOY.)
Also, this has been your 15-second weekly Sam update.
50 Shades of Theon: On this week's installment of 50 Shades of Theon, Theon Greyjoy was "set free" by the young lad from last week who is (SPOILER ALET) super important in the Game of Thrones universe but I won't spoil his name quite yet. Theon rode through the gorgeous Westeros (Irish) countryside on horseback, but was quickly followed by a bunch of bad guys with arrows. Can't catch a break this one!
They got him off his horse and surrounded him, then a particularly nasty one pushed him to the ground and tried to rape him. (This has been a very rape-y episode, no?) We got a few seconds of Theon writhing around in the dirt with his bare ass exposed (Alfie Allen has clearly been doing squats and lunges to prep for this) before the men were all killed by the same young man who had let Theon go. "You little bastard," one of them said, before he died. Foreshadow alert!
Stannis and MelisanddreZZZZZZ: Would anybody else feel perfectly fine if the show skipped over these two until they did something interesting? Good Lord, they're bland. And SPOILER ALERT number 2, they stay that way until, like, Book 5. Anyway, Melisandre left for Westeros and Stannis wasn't happy about it. Also, she mentioned that the Lord of Light was demanding "sacrifices" from people with Stannis' blood in their veins and he didn't seem to mind at all, so way to be a family man, Stannis. I'm happy to announce that this is the end of your weekly Stannis update.
The Dragonette: Over in Astapor, Dani was still thinking of ways to buy her army of castrated, occasionally nippleless slaves. She came across a young man dying on a cross in a row of hundreds of people dying on crosses, and the look on her face made it clear that she was not happy about the vicious way of life in Astapor. The Queen of Dragons ain't gonna stand for piles of dead babies and armies of d**kless men.
Regardless, she went to see the s**t-talking slave owner and his beautiful translator again, and said she would buy all of the Unsullied. "The slut thinks she can flash her tits and make us give her whatever he wants," he replied. What a sweetheart! But Dany went on, asserting that she wanted to buy all 8,000 men — though the master said he'd need all of her Dothraki and she still wouldn't have enough.
But you know what's worth an army? A dragon! And not just any dragon — the big black one. Dany agreed to give up Drogon, and she got his woman Missandei as a side-bonus. Jorah and Ser Barristan freaked out over the Drogon thing, but the deal is yet to go through, and something tells me the Mother of Dragons has something nasty up her nonexistant sleeve.
Jaimenne: Finally, the fun part! Game of Thrones' hottest kidnapped duo were now tied together on one of the man who in the books is known as Vargo Hoat, but here is just a random guys's horses, which was proving to be a miserable fate for both. However, something had clearly changed in Jaime — and no, not just his dirty hair that isn't make him an ounce less attractive, sorry hair and makeup team. Brienne was going to be stupidly noble and try to fight the small army of men, but Jaime insisted that she be smart and not attack them, as they'd surely kill her. "Do you understand? I'm the prisoner of value, not you. Let them have what they want, it doesn't matter."
This is crazy because we've never heard Jaime be this sincere, ever. Certainly not to anyone who isn't his sister, and he's kind of a dick to her, too. There's clearly something he likes or at least is charmed with in Brienne, and he doesn't want to see her killed. I'm excited because this marked the exact spot in the books where Jaime became my favorite character, and on-screen Jaime is just as if not more winning than his on-the-page counterpart, so this is going to be FUN!
At night they set up camp, and fake-Vargo and his men quickly got to the business of raping Brienne. "I'll take the big bitch first. When she's good and wet, you lot can finish her off!" Jaime looked more horrified than Brienne did at this line, and he and I both were deeply disturbed at Brienne's gutteral screams when they took her off. But then he had a stroke of genius, or as we say in this universe, a stroke of Tyrion:
"You know who she is, don't you?" he said to fake-Hoat as the assault began. "She is Brienne of Tarth. Her father is Lord Selwyn of Tarth. Heard of Tarth? They call it the Sapphire Isle. You know why? Every sapphire in Westeros was mined on Tarth. Sapphires are gemstones? The blue ones? Lord Selwyn would pay his daughter's weight in sapphires if she was returned to him. But only if she's alive — her honor unbesmirched."
Fake-Hoat went for this and brought Brienne back, but I think Jaime could have acted a little less pleased with himself. Apparently, Fake-Hoat felt the same way — after Jaime condescendingly asked him to remove him from his chains, Hoat did so, and even asked him for something to eat. "Bring the bird over here, and a carving knife," he ordered.
And here, my friends, is where Shit. Got. Real. "You think you're the smartest man there is," Fake-Hoat said, as his men held down Jaime, and he dangled the knife in his face. "Everyone alive has to bow and scape at your boots. If you get in any trouble, all you've got to do is say 'my father.' That's it. All your troubles are done... You're nothing without your daddy. But your daddy ain't here!"
And then HE CUT OFF JAIME'S HAND! His sword hand! I knew this was coming but that didn't make seeing the inside of Jaime's arm, nor his horrified disbelief, any harder to watch.
So, what did you think of the big moment? Are you happy with the pace of this season so far? Overwhelmed by all of the small, weekly updates? Shout out your thoughts below, and be sure to be super nice to your right hands tonight.
Follow Shaunna on Twitter @HWShaunna
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This post contains major spoilers for the April 3 epsiode of The Americans. Read at your own risk.
"Safe House," the ninth episode of FX's breakout Cold War spy drama The Americans is a game changer. In mercilessly killing off FBI agent Chris Amador, the show has proven that it's not afraid to take huge risks and make bold decisions. We know now, once and for all, that it's not afraid to go there.
Hollywood.com spoke with the man of the hour, Maximiliano Hernández about Amador's tragic fate, why he thinks the show missed an opportunity in its killing off of the only character of color, and why — in his opinion — The Americans tops Homeland.
Hollywood.com: Did you know when you signed on for the show that this would be your fate? Or were you surprised by the news?
Maximiliano Hernández: I was aware of my death by episode three. It was maybe around December that I knew what was happening. The writer's assistant called me and was like, "Hey, Joe [Weisberg] and Joel [Fields] want to get together and talk to you. Do you have time next week?" I said, "Yeah sure, like on Tuesday?" They were like, "Do you have a favorite restaurant?"
That was a Friday. And then over the weekend — you now when that little voice gets in your head and you're like, "What's going on here? What's happening here?" And then it bugged me the whole weekend and on Monday morning I sent them a text like, "Hey… Looking forward to tomorrow, maybe? Is everything okay?" And then they called me within 20 minutes and were like, "Listen, we just want to call you and talk to you and let you know that by the ninth episode you're going to die." And I just went quiet. And then I was like, "What the f**k are you talking about?" And they told me it had nothing to do with me or my ability or anything like that. They just needed a way to amp up the tension and intrigue and make the FBI a more important part of the heart of the show.
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That makes a lot of sense. Did you feel that way, too, that your side wasn't getting enough attention?
Yeah, I had been feeling reading the first few scripts, too, that this show is a lot more Directorate S-centric. Everyone on that side was sexy and they have missions, disguises, they're having all the sex, and then we're sort of like pushing papers around. It wasn't an equal thing. And I think [the showrunners] started feeling that way, too. Like, "We need to start encouraging this liking for the FBI. These guys aren't just doing their jobs, they're really trying to keep us safe and trying to save the world." So when they explained it that way and they explained the way it was going to happen, that it was going to be a big death, I was like, "Hey, whatever pushes the story forward. If it improves the story, if it pushes the story forward, then I'm all in. We'll do whatever we need to do."
I was just like, I don't want a bullet through the back of my head and have people be like, "Oh, that was an interesting character who was around for a little bit." If he's going to go out I wanted him to go out with them trying to get information from him and he doesn't give anything up. You would think that given his character earlier on that he would be like, "F**k this, I'm going to tell you whatever I need to to keep myself alive." But no, he is a man of honor, and he is a guy who will be like, "No, you're never going to get anything from me. F**k off." And I wanted to go that way.
I'm hoping that at least in the minds of the viewers that they get some sort of fulfillment out of it. Or that they just feel something for this guy, and that he wasn't just a wasted character with a wasted death.
It's obviously a huge turning point for the show and for Stan when Amador dies. And I was of course sad to see Amador go, but I was especially sad to see him go after that episode. I feel like in that single episode we get more character development than we have combined to date. With the flashbacks and seeing his relationship with Stan, I was left wanting to know more about him.
Don't we all! You should write that. Please write that down and send it in saying there should be more flashbacks with Amador!
Were the flashbacks part of the plan all along or if they were more of an afterthought?
They were totally planned. After I found out [about my death] I told Noah [Emmerich]. They didn't want me to tell anyone but I told them that they had to tell Noah. I said, "Listen, Noah is a friend of mine and he's a friend on stage; he and I have worked together in other movies and he plays my partner. He should know." And they said I was right. But Matthew [Rhys] and Keri [Russell] didn't know for a while. I knew first, then Noah knew, and then they let Keri and Matthew know. But what's funny is Keri, Matthew, and I had no scenes together ever until this last episode. So we hadn't built that camaraderie.
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What was it like working with them in that last episode, then?
Matthew and I had hung out outside of the show, but Keri and I had never hung out like that. So it really hit me like, this is a cool chick. And I told her, "I'm really going to miss that we did not work together." And she was like, "Me too." Because, I told her, I think this is her best work. And I think this is going to erase anything from the past. I think the Elizabeth Jennings character erases Felicity. It's like, [Russell] is so in it and she's so hard-lined and when you look at her, and it's a fight scene and she puts her hands up, she looks like she will mess you up. And she is fully committed to this. She enjoys this, she loves this character, she's fully committed. And I told her, "This is your best work. You've gotta stay on point with this. Elizabeth has gotta be that b**ch." Everyone's gotta point and say, "She's awesome." And I think that's what's happening right now.
You obviously had the most scenes, like you said, with Noah.
Of course, my boy Noah. Noah's my boy, he's always my boy. It's just so cool that we got to do those episodes together. To have that vibe and just hang and talk — and talk about romance. It was really good. But it was a little tough not being able to tell anyone [about my death] for a while. Because I knew so far ahead, before the red carpet premiere in New York, so it was bittersweet. I knew already on the carpet and while filming that I only had four episodes left, three episodes left, and so on.
And it was very tough, too, though, that it was a person of color that was dying. I just felt like we are so underrepresented, the fact that he was the only Latino in the counterintelligence division made it a really important character to play.
You're totally right!
Especially in that period, 1981, there were so few black men, Asian men, anyone brown. I think in the late '70s there were something like 200 minorities — and that included women and brown people — out of like 10,000 agents. Which to me is insane! And then, if you were a Latino agent they stuck you in something called the Taco Circuit, which is incredibly offensive. But that's what they called it! And you either worked at an outpost along the border, or in Miami watching Cuban dissidents. And even if you were overqualified, your job was only in a translator capacity. So even if you tested higher than a guy who is your direct superior, you could never be his superior. You were just there to translate.
So for me it was a really important character because I wanted to explore that a little more. I wish I would've gotten that chance.
He was a pioneer.
He really was a pioneer, so that was a bit of a bummer. But I'm not one of those guys who screams, "Whoa! The brown guy's dead!" It was funny to me because it wasn't the first thing I thought, and someone on set who isn't brown said it to me, under their breath, like, "Hmm… funny they got rid of the brown guy." And I looked at him and said I didn't wait to say anything. And he said it was the first thing that popped into his head. No way am I claiming any racism or anything like that, but it's just so funny that I really wanted to [go further with that].
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For sure. While I was watching the episode and it was still touch and go for Amador, the person I was watching with said to me, "If they kill him off then we'll know this show is serious." For me, The Americans had been walking the line between camp and a show that really takes itself seriously. But now we seem to have stepped up to a whole other level. I'm wondering what you think of that fact that your show has now joined the Homelands and the Game of Thrones in that you worry about every character in every episode.
Well, you know, I like that he had that idea because I also feel the same way while watching those shows. Like, I love Game of Thrones, and watching it I feel the same way, and when you don't know what's going to happen you are so shaken. And you're right, it kind of went from where it easily could have been campy, and then there are these moments of really serious stuff. And to me, the serious stuff always plays better when it comes to this kind of espionage stuff. The fine line, though, is there have to be moments of humor, and you need to have those funny quips because if not it ends up becoming sort of like Homeland. Because I thought Homeland was great Season 1, but I wasn't too big a fan of it Season 2. I think it lost a lot of its spy-iness, to be honest with you.
Do you think that's what sets The Americans apart?
Yeah! The other thing that bothered me about Homeland was all the cell phones. Like, everything is done on the cell phone and there's no more of the going and leaving a mark and picking something up, like real actual spy craft. The Americans for me is analogue. There's a texture to it, you can hear it. And Homeland is digital. And when you watch the show, it really is digital. It's all just digital stuff, there's very little meeting at the safe house and the real spy stuff. You don't see the disguises, you see a lot more of that on our show. But you're right, that can be campy, too. So in a way I'm glad that it's going this way — it's getting tenser, it's getting realer, and you really start feeling, "Oh my God, are they going to kill Nina?!"
I worry about her every episode!
Everyone worries about her! Everyone is always, "Oh my God. Oh my God," about Nina. And honestly, I think that at some point they're going to have to take out Martha, because she knows too much. She knows so much, and now these things are going to start popping up in her head, she'll find blood or something, and they're going to have to start tying up loose ends. And to me, I'm glad that they're building that up because I think the audience enjoys it, too. I just hope they don't lose all the lightness. You need to have those moments — like, the moments with the kids are great — because if you don't then it just becomes so heavy. It's so dark and there is never a joke made, and it can't fall into that sort of Dark Knight world (that's what I call it) where everything is so serious. We'd get bored, I think! But I do think it quickly got up to the Homeland level, it jumped up in a very short amount of time.
It absolutely has. Do you have any last thoughts about the show and your grand exit?
Hmm… last thoughts. Well, if I have to go, I'm glad it was the way I went. And I'm glad I went with my mouth shut. No rats, we don't like rats around here.
Follow Abbey On Twitter @AbbeyStone
[Photo Credit: Craig Blankenhorn/FX]
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For James Franco, jobs are like Pokémon — he's gotta catch 'em all. He already has actor, writer, director, professor, and NASCAR Grand Marshal on his résumé, but the job titles keep adding up. It's clear Franco won't stop until he has tried every career in America.
In fact, Franco is so intent on finding a new job that he joined* LinkedIn, the Facebook for professionals! He is serious about networking, y'all, and he has the recommendations and endorsements — from the likes of Selena Gomez and Gus Van Sant — to prove it.
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We stumbled upon** Franco's extensive profile while perusing the site, and man, was he thorough. If this doesn't land him a job, we don't know what will. Click the image below to see a screengrab*** of his entire profile.
CLICK IMAGE BELOW TO ENLARGE/EXPAND
* By "joined" we mean we created his profile from scratch.** By "stumbled upon" we mean we created it from scratch. *** By "screengrab" we mean image we created from scratch.
Follow Abbey On Twitter @AbbeyStone
[Photo Credit: Hollywood.com]
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Sometimes a girl just wants to dance. By herself. In a unicorn onesie. (Yes, a unicorn, don't you dare call her a frog.)
After tweeting on Tuesday about her penchant for comfortable, animal-shaped clothing — "It's a onezie PARTY (of one)" and "When you don't know what to wear…. Wear a onezie. #killtwobirdswithoneonezie" — and a photo of herself in said cozy garment, Miley Cyrus proceeded to show her fans the many wonderful things a onesie can do. It can pop, it can lock, it can drop it. It can #TWERK, as Miley put it on Facebook.
Here's the video, we suggest you watch it.
Werk it girl, you do your thing.
As amazing as the outfit and dance moves are — and they are definitely the most amazing things I've seen this Thursday — the best thing about this video is that it just proves, once again, that Miley doesn't give a f**k.
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For weeks now, rumors regarding Cyrus and her fiancé Liam Hemsworth have made the tabloid rounds, culminating in the New York Post's pronouncement on March 13 that the two had called off their engagement. But even as her name appeared in headlines across every entertainment outlet, including ours, Miley herself has stayed out of the spotlight. She reined in her tweeting for a couple days, she didn't make any major public appearances, and she didn't talk to the media.
While no one except for Cyrus and Hemsworth really know the intimate details of their relationship or what the status currently is — Cyrus was seen without her engagement ring but now it's back on, so that's whatever — one thing is for certain: Cyrus is doin' A-OK.
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Just look at her. She's having a grand ol' time! "You want to talk about me?" Cyrus seems to be saying. "Then talk about this!" You got it, lady! Just one more question: Can we hang out sometime?
Follow Abbey On Twitter @AbbeyStone
[Photo Credit: Twitter]
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This post contains some pretty major spoilers for Spring Breakers. Read at your own risk. I'm not joking, I give away the ending.
Harmony Korine's Spring Breakers is an assault. It is an explosion of neon and Skrillex, of sex and drugs, of young women and Aliens. But, most importantly, it is a metaphor for Britney Spears' total breakdown.
As the film's four heroines' fun and fancy free seaside romp descends into a black hole of corruption and filth, as skipping down their dorm's hallway gives way to drive-by shootings and drunken three-ways, you can't look away. And as your eyes stay glued to the caustic images of coed debauchery (and far, far beyond), tabloid headlines of Spears' unraveling float to the forefront of your memory. The parallels between Faith, Candy, Brit, and Cotty's (Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, and Rachel Korine, respectively) journey to complete corruption and the doomed paths pop superstars — most notably Spears —travel can't be overlooked.
There are two explicit references to Britney Spears in the film — first, when the four girls sing "… Baby One More Time" in the parking lot of a seedy Florida convenience store and second, when Alien (James Franco) serenades the spring breakers with Spears' "Everytime" — but the entire film is a dark homage to the star. Most obviously, Bible study-loving Faith acts a stand-in for the young, innocent Spears. She's the Britney who grew up in Louisiana, who celebrated her Baptist faith, and who appeared on Disney's Mickey Mouse Club.
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But the Spring Breakers as Britney metaphor doesn't work as a simple one-to-one transaction. Faith is only a part of Spears' persona, and all four of the young women combined — with their varying levels of hedonism — stand in for Britney, a woman who has always been equal parts naiveté and promiscuity. And their seduction by Alien and Florida's criminal underbelly is representative of Spears becoming swallowed by the fame machine. Indeed, with its cyclical, repeated lines of dialogue — "Spring break forever" and "I want to be better" among them — the film itself acts like the mesmerizing hum of one of Spears' earworms.
We first hear one of Spears' songs in Spring Breakers from the lips of the four girls themselves. They have successfully made it to Florida, a trip funded by the fruits of a successful heist of a local diner, and burst into the chorus of "… Baby One More Time" in a dark drugstore parking lot. As the singing draws to a close, Brit, Candy, and Cotty recount their misadventures to Faith, who wasn't present for the robbery. "My loneliness is killing me" hangs in your ears as the true violence and horror of the event is revealed to both the audience and Faith, who is realizing for the first time that her spring break might not be quite the "spiritual" revelation she intended.
The song's placement at the beginning of the girls' spiral into chaos corresponds perfectly with Spears' timeline. "… Baby One More Time" was Spears' first single, catapulting her from near-obscurity to superstardom when she was just 17 years old. The media loved Spears' innocent, girl-next-door look — and indeed, her label packaged her as a sugary sweet, wholesome all-American girl — yet the song (and its schoolgirl-themed video) are shockingly sexualized. Spears wouldn't sing "I'm not so innocent" for another two years, but the idea was already there, bubbling to the surface. Similarly, by the time that they sang Spears' lyrics, our spring breakers had gotten their first taste of corruption and (Faith excepted) were hooked. There was no turning back.
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If Florida and spring break act as stand-ins for the wilds of the music industry and showbiz, then Franco's Alien is the fan and media frenzy that unrelentingly followed Spears. "I like you so much. I like you so much. I really do," Alien says to Faith, stroking her face as tears roll down her cheeks. His adoration of her is shallow ("You're so pretty," he says) yet unwavering, and Faith is terrified — just as Spears was overwhelmed by the intense scrutiny of the public eye. As the girls get more deeply embroiled with Alien's gang, Faith becomes rattled. You can imagine Spears using Faith's words, "I thought if we came here we could just be free and have fun," to describe her own disillusionment of the fame machine.
Finally, Faith has had enough. "This wasn't supposed to happen," she says, "Come home with me." But the other girls are having fun. They are enchanted with Alien — who, with his cornrowed hair and burly physique, looks remarkably like Spears' ex-husband Kevin Federline — and aren't ready to leave spring break behind. So Faith (Spears' innocent superego) hops a bus back to Nowheresville, U.S.A., while the others (Spears' ego and id) remain firmly in Alien's and Florida's grasp. The foursome, much like Britney, has lost it's moral compass, and will therefore never be quite the same again.
"Play us something sweet. Something uplifting, Something f**king inspiring," the remaining girls beg Alien, seated at his shiny white baby grand piano. Alien's choice of a sweet, uplifting, inspiring song is none other than Spears' "Everytime." "One of the greatest singers of all time, and an angel if there ever was one on this earth," Alien says by way of introduction before launching into his serenade. Cotty, Brit, and Candy, clad in pink My Little Pony ski masks and sweatpants emblazoned with "DTF" (Down to F**k, for those of you unfamiliar with the young persons' lexicon), begin a shotgun gun waltz to the tune. As the song transitions from Alien's vocals to Spears' we are shown a montage of the three girls and Alien robbing other spring breakers at gunpoint.
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Spears' 2004 music video for "Everytime" is similarly violent. After being chased through a convenience store (ring any bells?) by the paparazzi, Spears suffers a head wound, drowns in her bathtub, and is taken to a hospital where she fails to be resuscitated. Her fame has literally killed her – and we can't help but feel that our three spring breakers are headed for the same fate.
The next time we see Alien at his piano he is speak-singing the haunting words, "One little chicky went back to the farm. One little chicky got shot in the arm." Cotty, during a drive-by altercation with Alien's rival gang, was indeed shot in the arm, signaling the first time one of the girls has suffered a physical wound. And this moment, therefore, correlates with Britney Spears' huge, head-shaving breakdown of 2007. Cotty's gunshot wound – caused in no small part by Alien, our motif for fame — and Spears' shorn head are both outward symbols of their interior pain; they both broadcast to the world the dangers the women have faced and the harm they have endured. Cotty soon finds herself on the same bus back to oblivion Faith rode days earlier, just as another small part of Britney has disappeared forever.
Ultimately, we are left with just Brit (who even shares a variation on Britney's name) and Candy, the most daring, adventurous, and open to Alien's corrupting influence of the four. And they, teamed with Alien, head out to seek revenge on Alien's nemesis Archie (Gucci Mane). Earlier in the film, Archie says to Alien, "Just like I made you, I'm going to break you." The music industry speaks through Archie's mouth in this moment, threatening to destroy the very celebrity it created... and the life that goes along with it. Eerily, Spears' mother used those very terms to describe her daughter's breakdown. Lynn Spears writes in her memoir Through the Storm, "Clearly something inside of her had broken and needed to be healed." But will the girls be able to heal and rise again as Spears has seemed to in recent years?
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In the final moments of Spring Breakers, the girls leave Alien for dead and go on a killing spree of their own, shooting up Archie and his gang. The bloodbath is intercut with shots of Candy and Brit after the attack, on the phone with their mothers, mimicking the same words Faith used at the beginning to speak with her grandmother. They're meeting so many sweet people, they say, and spring break has really changed them. But, most importantly, they are filled with a renewed wish to "be better."
In these final moments, as the neon lights give way to a sunrise over the ocean, the girls seem poised to rise from the ashes. But the question remains: In killing Archie's gang (the personification of show business), have they triumphed over the corruption, or have they themselves become the corrupters? The ending of the film is a question mark. Just as we don't know where Britney will go from here, the fate of Candy and Brit remains hazy.
"Spring break forever," Alien croons repeatedly. But of course, spring break — like fame, success, and all good things — must come to an end. And when it does, what will remain?
Follow Abbey On Twitter @AbbeyStone
[Photo Credit: A24; R Vera Jr /Splash News; Hot Shots Worldwide / Splash News]
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Carnival Cruise Lines, you've really got to get your s**t together. That's probably a poor choice of words, but come on.
Late Thursday, Carnival announced that their ship the Legend had to cut short its seven-day voyage. Somewhere off the coast of Honduras, the ship suffered a technical problem that made it unable to sail at optimal speed, ABC News reports. The issue forced the ship to skip its final port in Grand Cayman and return to Tampa Bay, Fla.
And this just a day after the Carnival Dream had a mechanical problem with its backup generator, stranding passengers in St. Maarten. According to CNN, over 4,000 passengers will be flown back to Florida. Carnival spokesperson Vance Gulliksen tells ABC News, "Since it is unclear when the Carnival Dream will be departing St. Maarten."
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He adds, "Guests have the option to return to Orlando — the closest air gateway to Port Canaveral, where the voyage began — or their originating city … Guests began disembarking the ship [Thursday] morning to board flights scheduled for today, and will continue to do so throughout the weekend. We are working to try to accommodate special requests from guests, including those who asked to remain on board longer."
And that just days after the Carnival Elation pooped out on its voyage from New Orleans. While Carnival says the ship's passengers were not affected by the problem — food service and facilites services were uninterrupted — a minor issue with the units used to steer and propel the ship did prompt a tugboat escort.
And who can forget the infamous s**t ship, the Carnival Triumph, which lost power and was stuck in the middle of nowhere for five days?
If I were a Carnival Cruise Lines passenger, I'd start looking into whether their free cruise vouchers are cash-redeemable. I mean, come on, the company is one exploded tire away from following in the footsteps of the Fung Wah bus (RIP).
Follow Abbey On Twitter @AbbeyStone
[Photo Credit: Gerald Herbert/AP Photo]
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