Wastin' away again in Sitharitaville.
Searching for my lost saber and son.
Some people claim that there's Kenobi to blame,
But I know that Yoda's the one.

I don't know the reason,
I stay here all season.
My last real job I most certainly blew.
And oh what a doozie,
The Death Star—kablooey.
How Luke persevered, I haven't a clue.

Wastin' away again in Sitharitaville.
Searching for my lost saber and son.
Some people claim that there's Kenobi to blame,
Now I think,
Hell, maybe Han's the one.

I used the Dark Side,
Made little Luke cry.
Lost my ship, had to cruise on back home.
But I'll bet you my gender,
That I will soon render,
Han a frozen concoction on a Tattooine wall.

Wastin' away again in Sitharitaville.
Searching for my lost saber and son.
Some people claim that there's Kenobi to blame,
But I know that my son's the one.
Yes, and some people claim that there's Kenobi to blame,
And I know that my son's the one.

Contributors

Endorsements for Urkobold™

"Can't a non-retatrded right winger like John or Pro Liberatre try to debate me instead of a homophobe on one hand and a guy with the IQ of a bag of bricks on the other?" - The Truth

Of all the Hit & Run Lite clones that have popped up and then fizzled, this one doesn't suck as bad. Oh, it sucks. Just not as bad. Almost as good as Jennifer's! It's fascinating how you and Jen and Sloop run the same stories that Reason runs, albeit much more amateurishly, and still expect anyone to care. Touching, really, like the autistic kid who's good at building model airplanes. - Anonymous

"I find URKOBOLD™ very funny. And I'm not just saying that because I fear further taint-withering." - Jake Boone

"For the first time, God has competition." - Pat Mooney (ETC Group) as interpreted by Anonymo the Anonymous

This is really a damned lovely f**king blog. I must visit more often. - Stevo Darkly

That would be great. They'd have to wear small logo patches on their suits, like tennis players. Press conferences would have the corporate logo on the podium. "The Hooked on Phonics Education Secretary would like to announce..." "This DEA briefing is being brought to you by Coors, the official beer of the DEA." - Baked Penguin

"Fuck you and the rest of your wacky "Urkobold" cronies, PL. In fact, fuck this entire lunatic blog and everyone on it. I'm done with it." - Edward

Thankyou for you civility Urkobold [sic] - Gabe Harris

Be the troll that you want to see in the world. - Mohandas K. Gandhi

The Urkobold is like a brother to me. He may merely bow before Zod--the highest honor I can bestow. - General Zod

"Oddly enough, I haven't been in any cycling accidents since I 'found' URKOBOLD®. And I'm a daily commuter!" - jimmydageek

"I love this blog." - Smacky

"DEMAND KURV!!!" - Matt Damon

Bibertarian T-Shirt

**NOW AVAILABLE (AGAIN) despite Communist conspiracy** Buy now and buy often. If not for yourself, for the children!

Profiles

Taktix®: - Details are still coming in, but it appears that he signed on recently merely for the opportunity to "really stick it to the Urkobold."

BakedPenguin - Said to be even tastier than barbecued puffin, he has been spotted plotting against the Urkobold, real name: Cornjob Crapulent Purpleknob, but you can call him "Corny"

Viking Moose - The Ruminator, the Angry Economist, his plot to destroy the Urkobold has just taken shape

Urkobold - The Troller of Trolls, the Über Troll, the Prime Troller Untrolled, the Lover of Weibskobold, the Reason We Are

Sage - Resident Straight Man (that term is understood to be relative), he is the progenitor of Haiku Day, a much respected man, he tries to stab the Urkobold in the back on any occasion

Pro Libertate - The Guzzler, Gator, God, Discoverer of the Urkobold, he is the unabashed geek-lover of Mrs. Libertate, Judas to our savior Urkobold

Koko, the Signing Gorilla - Fine Animal Person Gorilla

Jimmy Da Geek - The Art Director, he is the safe cycling expert, obsessed with taints, his attempts to poison the Urkobold have all failed

Mr Steven Crane - The Dark Horse, the bearer of Nehi Cola and Formula 409. sometimes known as the Fairy Defense Force, surely the most likely to betray the Urkobold

highnumber - The Founder, he is a handsome devil, loves accents of all sorts except Californian, is a proven replicant, and is an accused Betrayer of Monkey Tuesday, the last one the Urkobold suspects, therefore probably the one to fear most

Nick M. - The Continuity Director, he determines what Urkobold lore is canon and what apocryphal, he probably doesn't belong on the sidebar

smacky - Filling the gender gap at Urkobold™. Trails Koko, the Signing Gorilla in a recent attractiveness poll by only a small margin of votes

dhex - The Wild Card, Arbiter of Taste, AKA Acid Damage McGee, some suspect that he is also the Technoviking, not trusted by the Urkobold due to his shifting loyalties

New Product at Urkobold's Shop

Let everyone know that you're the proud parent of an up-and-coming minion of Urkobold. Brace yourself for the envious glares to follow!

Sobchak's Syndrome

Affliction affecting many libertarians: They're not wrong. They're just assholes. Possibly fatal to the movement.

Inspected By Urkobold - Thong

Profess your love to her with this classic thong from Urkobold. Let her know that Urkobold approves of her stuff, and Urkobold usually doesn't approve of anything! - "Inspected by Urkobold" on front - "Approved" on rear