Remember when you were a little kid and completely insignificant things seemed like the most important events in the entire world? Well, that same logic applies to some students in college too. For whatever reason, a certain percentage of dudes in frats and chicks in sororities tend to obsess over social events, and earlier this week, we were all reminded of that via an absolutely hysterical email from a sorority member from Maryland who was furious at her sisters for acting like shy weirdos and whiny little bitches at recent events during Greek Week. It was later leaked to Gawker, and it’s since been making the rounds.

Given how serious it takes itself and how brilliant much of the phraseology is, the geniuses over at Funny Or Die recognized its hilarious potential almost immediately and enlisted Premium Rush and Boardwalk Empire star Michael Shannon for an overly dramatic reading. Not surprisingly, it wound up being hysterical, and it’s trending on its own merits now.

I get where this girl was going with the email. It sounds like some of her sisters really did need to be told to stop rooting for opposing teams and to start actually socializing with the frat they were matched with during Greek Week. Unfortunately, she went way over the top and became the story herself. Luckily, this’ll be a pretty funny story to tell in a few years.