Posted
by
samzenpus
on Wednesday March 11, 2009 @03:42PM
from the give-em-hell-Santino dept.

rjshirts writes "In further proof that Planet of the Apes is coming to pass, researchers in Stockholm, Sweden have proof that primates can plan ahead.
From the article:
'Santino the chimpanzee's anti-social behavior stunned both visitors and keepers at the Furuvik Zoo but fascinated researchers because it was so carefully prepared.
According to a report in the journal Current Biology, the 31-year-old alpha male started building his weapons cache in the morning before the zoo opened, collecting rocks and knocking out disks from concrete boulders inside his enclosure. He waited until around midday before he unleashed a "hailstorm" of rocks against visitors, the study said.'"

Although I have no basis for this observation, this new, violent behavior is clearly a result of exposure to violent video games. I'm proposing a measure to restrict the same of video games to primates. Won't someone please think about our zoo-faring children?

From TFA: "For a while, zoo keepers tried locking Santino up in the morning so he couldn't collect ammunition for his assaults, but he remained aggressive. They ultimately decided to castrate him in the autumn last year[...]"

The fact that chimpanzees are so close to us is a strong argument for us to defend them.

No the fact that chimps are so close to us is a strong argument to wipe the little bastards out quick before they figure out a way to take us out! Every day we find out Chimpanzees are more and more like us... I don't know about you, but that scares the hell out of me!

"For a while, zoo keepers tried locking Santino up in the morning so he couldn't collect ammunition for his assaults, but he remained aggressive. They ultimately decided to castrate him in the autumn last year, but will have to wait until the summer to see if that helps."

Guns don't kill people...uh oh!

"It is normal behavior for alpha males to want to influence their surroundings... It is extremely frustrating for him that there are people out of his reach who are pointing at him and laughing," Osvath said. "It cannot be good to be so furious all the time."

You're assuming he was actually trying to hit someone. Watching humans scream with panic and run away when you throw things at them is funny! Watching them fall down, bleed, and get carried away in a stretcher -- not so funny. He's throwing rocks for the same reason most chimps throw feces -- not because he is trying to injure a spectator, but because it amuses him to see their reaction!

Disclaimer: I felt like being an off-topic tool on a political soapbox, and felt the need to qualify my dick-headed statement in order to appease the level-headed/.'ers with mod points who will, no doubt, still do the right thing and mod me into oblivion.

Woah, woah, woah. You're saying that lending enormous amounts of money with extremely high interest rates to people who can't possibly afford to pay it back is a bad idea? Since when? Next you're going to tell me that trickle-down economics doesn't work and that two plus two doesn't equal five (even for very large values of two)! You obviously aren't an economics major.

No, no - I wasn't joking, I was being scathing about the human race. This poor animal is so pissed off about being where it is that it stores up missiles to throw at its assailants. When was the last time you were in that situation?

Sadly, my commentary was interpreted as humour by the moderators, rather than the scalpel-sharp incisive wit that it was. Ah, well...

Thus, researchers are always on the lookout for situations that can distinguish between the two. Novel situations where instincts wouldn't be expected to apply, pathological situations where instincts would fail if applied, etc.

I wonder, do researchers do this instinctively or is it a cognitive process? If they are always on the lookout for these situations, then that suggests to me that it is instinctive, and that these instincts have helped lead them to succeed as researchers.