Friday, April 20, 2012

Fairy Godmother?

Tonight is Friday April 20 2012. I'll get to the title of this blog in a little bit. First, I want to talk about something. I know that some people may read my blog and think, "what a complainer. Everyone has problems and goes through things that aren't fun but they don't go blasting it all on the internet. Who does she think she is?" Well, let me answer that.

I am no one of influence or importance. I do not possess any special talents deserving of attention or recognition. I don't have special intellectual abilities nor a degree in, well anything. I do not possess surpassing beauty, a singing voice worth listening to, artistic abilities, or special physical talents or tricks. I don't pretend to be any of these things, I am simply who God says I am. I am His daughter.

I didn't decide to write this blog to receive special attention and pity for my life experiences. I know my life is just like yours in one way or the other. I don't "have it bad", rather, I have it pretty good and I know this. I am blessed. I write because my life is meant to bring glory to God. I know He has a plan for me; a journey He is taking me on. I just want to blog that journey so others can "watch" with me to see what God does. He takes us all on a journey but it can be hard to see the blessings unless we've recorded them. Sometimes it's easier to see them in others' lives; we hold an "outsider's" perspective which can help us see more clearly. Well, If my blog causes just one person to think upon God just a little more, to ponder His will or seek His mind, then my time and life circumstances are worth it.

There is a song I love. One of the lines from the song goes "Christ on the mind of everyone who thinks of me, Christ in the words of everyone who speaks of me." This is my desire, that my life would cause everyone to think and speak of God. When my name is spoken I want Christ to be the immediate thought in the speaker's and the hearers mind. I want the story of my life to point only and always to Him. This is why I share my "story". Christ was, is, and always will be honest and real. I must then be the same.

I really do love and appreciate all of your comments and honesty. I look forward to reading what you have to say.....keep them coming. I respond to every comment I receive; just in case you didn't know that I do respond to you.

Okay, now to the meaning of this post's title. My girls stayed the night with their grandma last night so I had this morning to myself; I actually had time to think. While I was getting ready I began thinking about how great a blessing my step-mom has been to me. For some reason the term Fairy Godmother entered my head. I am no Cinderella and she hasn't "bibbity bobbity" any of my life problems away. She hasn't given me new glass slippers.....would just exchange them for something little softer if she had. No magic wand in her hand but I couldn't help to think that there was something magic about her in my life. Then it hit me! There have been a few times in my life when I felt God clearly speak to my heart. This was one of those times.

She is not magic, she is my "Aaron"! Jill, my step-mom, is my "Aaron". She is my Jill. She was there all along but because I am so afraid to let go, to loose control...that I never really had, I was blind to who she was in my life other than my step-mom. She has been there the past year to help me with my kids, help take care of them when I wasn't feeling good, and feed them. She, above all else, has allowed me to "go through this", while remaining honest with me. She tells me what I need to hear whether or not I want to hear it. She has shown me so much grace and mercy while doing everything she can to pick up the slack on my part. She "gets" me, understands me, listens to me, and speaks reality into my life.

Half the stuff she says I don't want to have to accept, but it is right and slowly the Lord has peeled away my stubborn control issues so that I can accept what she says. It is humbling to depend on another women to take care of my family when I can't. I am learning to let go. I was begging God for an "Aaron" that wouldn't just speak for me but hold the staff as well; Jill was holding that staff all along, I just refused to emotionally except it.

I'm really interested in seeing what happens now that my eyes have been opened to this. I'm excited because God is teaching me so much so quick. Walk with me on this journey and let's praise God together in all He does.

Jill is a wonderful lady. She rarely thinks about herself first and is usually the first to try to help others when help is needed. She totally loves my children. She loves and has a special connection with our grandchildren. God has blessed me through her more than I ever could have imagined and much more than I have ever deserved. I guess she is kinda my Aaron too. Natalie, we are all so fortunate to have someone like Jill in our lives. God has truly blessed you Natalie. He has given you a strong family unit. You have a brother and sister who love and care about you. You have Aunts, Uncles, and cousins who love you and you see on a regular basis. You especially have a Mother who loves you so much that she is willing to risk annoying you in order to get you to not make some of the same mistakes she might have made when raising you. She loves and cares about you very much. Lastly, there's me.(Your Joshua). You know I'm just joking.I love you very much and care deeply about your thoughts and feelings, your hopes and your dreams. I am through with trying to give you advise when it comes to F.M. I haven't a clue what it must be like to deal daily with this terrible sickness. I can only assure you that I am listening, and that I hear you. I'm very proud of you. Dad.

LOL! Okay, (Joshua). Hey, who knows, maybe you are. I do know this though, you are certainly an encourager in my life. Kinda like a........Robin? Yes, I'm Batman and you're Robin!!! Just kidding dad, thought that would be funny...picturing you in those silly tights saying "holly" something but then it just made me kinda sick lol. On a serious note, you really are an encourager in my life and I value you.

I'm the one who is lucky, I married into a family that I love very much and who accepts me. I only want the best for you Natalie and the grandchildren. I love being able to help when I can and hope to be able to continue helping whenever needed. I appreciate you calling me your Aaron but an Aaron can only be an Aaron if there is a Moses to help. Thank you for being Our Moses. Love You Jill

Are you saying that my mom left me in a basket to float down a river? I'm kidding. I'm certainly no Moses to God's people, I'm just completely unqualified like he was and need someone to be my strength from God. As God gave Aaron to Moses He gave Jill to me. So, let's go parting these waters and get through this stupid thing together.

About Me

Wife, Stay-at-home mom of two girls that I home school, President/CEO of Cross Tuition (non-profit charity www.crosstuition.org), Owner/Designer of Jessie Scarvs and Emily Accessories, author of the Adventures of Emily and Jessica Kitten: Learning Lessons on the Way book/bible study series.....coming soon. I have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and trying to live beyond the disease.