on New Year's Eve

In how many ways can a single year change things?

2006 sucked. It seems that 2007, and soon 2008 will more than make up for the torture of the few years prior.

I had high hopes for 2007. But I didn’t even know how to be optimistic anymore. Working at Kinko’s, dealing with monthly Depot Lupron shots and side effects, and the constant never knowing if any of it would be worth it was draining in ways I think I didn’t even acknowledge.

Despite a rocky start, 2007 is ending better than I could have imagined. There is a baby rolling in my belly. What beats that?

I’m proud of my 2007. I worked really hard for this growing girl in many ways. I did the interview with my local paper. I did a lot of work for RESOLVE this year. I worked at Kinko’s. I endured more cervical torture.

I got pregnant. At long last – really pregnant. That is the defining moment of 2007. I will never forget lying on that table watching that tiny, faint flicker. So faint that my doctor counted while my husband timed and I just watched because the machine couldn’t pick up the heartbeat.

A heartbeat that grew and grows in me. And has helped to heal us both.

My resolutions for 2008?

Enjoy her once she arrives (hopefully safe and sound) in about a week. Love her, learn her, learn to be her mother, and watch her grow. Revel in our sweet, long-awaited victory.