Month: September 2018

In our last post, we looked at the subject on friendships. We learnt that man was not created for things but for relationships. Looked at how positive and toxic relationships can impact on us. If you want friends, you will have to be friendly to attract one as I asserted in the last post

Today, let us shift our attention to why it is crucial to have a company. Before having one, please select with a fine tooth comb. You are in no haste to have a friend but it also doesn’t mean you should not have one, anyway. Please, building relationships especially great ones have an edge which I will like to share

You are sharpened like a sword ready for battle. Believe it or not, we all have blunt edges in certain parts of our lives that no matter how much self evaluation and awareness we do on ourselves, we can never sharpen that edge. This is where a friend comes in! Man was not designed to grow only in isolation but in the midst and company of people. For instance, one of the character building and molding exercises occurs when you are in a marriage relationship. You may be selfish, impatient and intolerant but because you don’t live with someone, you will think selfishness is “me-time”, impatience is “being straightforward” and intolerant is “being principled”. A spouse can force you to look hard in the mirror to realize those tags you had are nothing but an illusion. Nothing against having a me time, I am a believer and a practitioner! We are looking at balancing with having company time as well which brings total and wholistic growth. If you are a loner and start to work in an office where there are colleagues and the desk is shared, it forces you to develop interpersonal skills. Being a loner doesn’t force that growth. Serving in a leadership capacity or setting can force you to place more emphasis on emotional intelligence than brain power. Relationships are a blessing because they challenge us to an uncomfortable spot forcing us to grow. That is how you can be “sharpened”

2. You have help

“It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there’s no one to help, tough!” Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4:9-10‬ ‭MSG‬‬

I heard a wise man once quipped, “without help, life makes you look like a lazy man”. So, so true! If you have lived longer than a day, you will discover that life can be pretty hard sometimes; a lot of curveballs thrown at you, unexpected turns, steep learning curves and slopes. Life can be that unpredictable and suck the juice out of you. In moments like that, friendships are like a glass of water to a thirsty soul. Do not deprive yourself the gold of good relationships because one went bad and left sour grapes in your mouth. There are people who have vowed never to trust no one because of such painful experiences. That could be a wrong approach and you will be setting yourself up for failure. All success stories have one word in common: TEAM. No one does it alone. People who have gone through adversity and came out champions have one thing in common: TEAM. People who died in adversity and couldn’t last tough times; all have one thing in common: LACK OF FRIENDSHIPS. I mean real, genuine ones! Today, may I ask, if you receive a call of a loved one passing away (God forbid!), if you are unexpectedly laid off your high earning job (God forbid!), who will you call? Or are you going to hit the bottle? Magic Johnson, NBA Legend and a successful businessman credits Cookie Johnson- his wife, the LA Lakers- the team he played for, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Isiah Thomas- his NBA contemporaries and David Stern, the then NBA Commissioner as a source of hope and strength when he found out he had contracted the HIV Virus. He has said it on record without prayer & these friendships, he would have gone to an early grave. He looks a picture of health today and doing great things in the world of business, finance and sports. It has been said, “man can live forty days without food, three days without water, eight minutes without air, but only a second without hope”. I am tempted to now put hope as a basic necessity of life. My question is who is going to be your source of hope when you are an island- all by yourself because hope doesn’t come in a vacuum. It needs expression through another human

3. A time of celebration

You merry make and can have a celebration when you have friends genuinely interested in your welfare who want the best for you. It is sad to celebrate an achievement all by yourself. I have attended wedding ceremonies with a few and a large gathering. Believe you me, the company gathered determines the mood and how the event will pan out to be. Most of my greatest memories personally are when I could celebrate it with great friends and a good company all around me feeding off positive energy and vibes. It is just such a blessing!

Pardon me for my long opus today. I pray may you have an edge by reason of your company you build around you

“There is nothing on this earth to be prized than true friendship”- Thomas Aquinas

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs‬ ‭18:24‬

One of the greatest mysteries in life is relationships. Relationships can be a gift and a curse at the same time. Through it, many have risen and fallen

Bill Clinton famously helped Obama win his election, and subsequently navigate the political world. Clinton reportedly helped Obama fundraise, endorsed him in various speeches, and gave him advice that would allow him to win over voters. According to CS Monitor, this was of no immediate benefit to Clinton, and was merely a way of one famous friend help another find success

On the other hand, most toxic relationships which have to do with things like drug overdose can also be caused by friends. Recently, I read an article on a celebrity that overdosed on hard drugs and was on the brink of death. As a result of this unfortunate incident, the star’s team have cut ties with friends and bad influences who were mainly the source of the star’s relapse

So now reading of these instances, one can easily be tempted to ask, “to have or not to have, that is the question”. Well, may I answer: have, but by all means have good friends who will aid you on your journey to destiny

In this world of social media, people don’t truly have physical friends but virtual ones which can be a bit superficial. Having likes and comments on your Facebook page or retweets on your Twitter page doesn’t amount to real and authentic friendship. Having a large following on your Instagram account is not friendship either. For all you know, they might be on your page to snoop on you out of nosiness and curiosity. I am in no way being a wet blanket on using social media. I am a user myself and have found it useful in terms of networking

The criteria for finding a friend is to be friendly as the last quote inferred. You cannot truly enjoy the rewards of a good relationship if you are standoffish and sort of an island. You sow a smile to reap a smile, you sow kindness to reap one. The opposite of that is true; sow selfishness, bitterness and you will reap according to the seed sown

What does it mean to be friendly? It means to be warm hearted, kind and reciprocal. The last point on being reciprocal is important to sustain relationships. It means when you text, I respond back with a text. When I see a missed call, I return that. It is simply “scratch my back and I scratch yours”. Most relationships and potentially, great ones take a nosedive because of reciprocity

I pray may we be able to build long lasting and positive relationships by being friendly