Category Archives: parenting

I must say, 2018 is off to a good start! 2017 wasn’t bad to us, but it had a very rough start with all of us being sick, then me having pneumonia, then Jeff having hernia surgery…I feel like we didn’t really “start” our year until late April! This year, thanks to Josh being on antibiotics since last week, we’re all healthy and ready to start 2018 with a fresh start!

A high school friend and fellow blogger said it best on her blog yesterday: “I feel like life hit the reset button.” Yep. I know the shimmer and hope of the new year will fade away quickly once the daily routine sets back in, but for now: hello sunshine! Hello plans to be a more patient and understanding mother! Hello home projects! Hello plans to be more adventurous! Hello goal setting (more date nights, more family quality time, more, more more..)! And maybe most importantly…hello new planner! :-P

And I must say…2018 started off great. I accepted a last minute job for a New Year’s Eve wedding (I actually had a ceremony on Saturday, a ceremony on Sunday morning, and coordinated this wedding on Sunday night-yeah!), so I didn’t get to ring in the New Year with Jeff, and wasn’t in bed until 2:00 a.m. Which….for me…is REALLY late. However, my internal clock is awful to me, so I was still awake by 6:30 a.m….but refused to let myself get out of bed. Jake came to our bed and after I wished him a happy new year he said “Happy New Year to you too!” which just sounded so adorable. Jeff has always been great about taking care of the boys in the morning after I work a late wedding, so he took Josh to the kitchen once Josh started yelling at us: “Eat! Eat! EAT!!!”

Jake had fallen back asleep, and when he woke up he said “Wake up mommy, it’s a beautiful day!” *swoon* I heard Jeff making coffee, which: OMG. I’m the daily coffee maker in the house, and it’s always SO GREAT when someone else makes it. I was a little surprised he didn’t bring me a cup of coffee once it was done (I know I’m spoiled, he’s amazing), but figured Josh was keeping him busy. A few minutes later I hear Josh coming down the hallway, and then Jeff walked in with a breakfast tray. Yes ladies and gentlemen (gentleman?), there were happy tears. I love breakfast. I love when I don’t have to make breakfast (which isn’t often since I’m always up before everyone else). This was huge. Of course, I had to share with a certain someone who wouldn’t keep his grubby hands off my food…

He’s cute enough that I shared.

We then started cleaning up all our Christmas decor, and taking the ornaments off our tree was the perfect family “teamwork” scenario that is now starting to happen a little more frequently as Joshy gets older. Jeff was in charge of getting the ornaments off the tree, then he’d had them to Josh (unless they were super fragile…c’mon, we’re not idiots), who would hand them to Jake, who would hand them to me for packing and storage. We were done in record time and my heart was so happy. Josh wasn’t happy about me putting this guy in a box though:

As a side note: I’ve had that reindeer since I was nine years old, when my mom sent it to me when I was spending a Christmas in Guatemala with my grandmother.

We then grabbed lunch, then Home Depot for some home project supplies and way too many plants.

Jake has been SO EXCITED to have his cousin in town <3.

We went back home and got to work. Jake was helping me with some plants, and I don’t know if it was the lighting, or the solace of this moment alone with him, but he just looked so perfect and beautiful and I wanted to capture that moment forever. He had mentioned earlier to me that one day he was going to get bigger and have to leave me and go on his own (we’ve had these conversations before), and we both said how we would miss each other, so maybe having that at the forefront of my mind made me extra emotional: my little guy is growing up so fast! So I had to capture the moment.

Jake also helped daddy take down the Christmas lights, which has become a tradition of theirs:

The older boys went and got ice cream while Joshy and I took a nap. Then Jake come home super upset because daddy didn’t pick the flowers Jake wanted for grandma, so we talked it out and he decided to buy her the flowers he wanted with this own money. We opened up his piggy bank (which is actually a Chase Paw Patrol bank…) and went back to Ralphs so he could pick his flowers. I then took him to Starbucks and we had some nice quality time together, which I’ve been wanting for so long.

We rounded up the evening having dinner with grandma Linda, grandpa, and Brayden, to celebrate grandma’s birthday. It was the perfect ending to the perfect first day.

Recently it’s been harder and harder to get Jake to do the things we have to do everyday: brush your teeth, let’s get dressed, it’s time for a bath. “I don’t want to!” He’s 3. I get it. But still…someone give this kid a chill pill before I lose it.

We bribe Jake all the time. I’m not gonna deny it, and I won’t dance around the subject. We’ve done it ever since he started [not] eating regular food. He’s a terrible eater, to the point that I worry about his health and growth (we actually have an appointment with a specialist in a couple weeks), so yeah, if I have to bribe him with a cookie to take two bites of chicken, I’ll do it. It works well…until he decides he doesn’t want the cookie and my leverage disappears into thin air.

But I digress. One morning as I’m trying to figure out how to bribe him to brush his teeth so it doesn’t turn into a crying and screaming affair, I bribed him with some stickers I remembered I had in my craft desk. Here’s the funny thing about Jake: most of the time…if I don’t remind him about the prize he’s earned after his task, he forgets about the prize and just does whatever I ask him to do. But I feel shitty cheating him that way, so 99% of the time, if I remember, I give him the reward anyway.

So yeah, I offered him stickers and then forgot to give them to him, and the next day when I wanted to bribe him with stickers again to brush his teeth, I realized I had forgotten to give him his sticker yesterday, then I had to double down and offer him TWO stickers, one for yesterday, and for today.

But a lightbulb went off…what if I had stickers every day to bribe him with for all the things I want him to do? Like….A CHORE CHART! TA-DA! Totally unique, never been done before. So I started brainstorming and looking around online. I found a couple on Etsy that I liked, but weren’t EXACTLY what I wanted.

Here’s what I wanted:

Something that showed the days of the week, with images so he can associate the day of the week with a routine that happens that day (like a trash truck on trash day)

A way to track completed chores for the week, in a way that I can re-use the same chart every week (VELCRO!)

“Markers” that would be attractive to Jake

I couldn’t quite find something on Etsy that met all my requirements, especially since I wanted the days of the week to be pretty customized anyway. So I decided to design one myself. For each day of the week I put a picture to associate with that day of the week: for Mondays, a picture of my mom since she watches the boys on Mondays, and a picture of my in-laws on Tuesday since that’s when they start watching them. Wednesday has a trash can because that’s the day we take out the trash. Thursday has a garbage truck because that’s trash day. Friday has a street sweeper and a picture of Sarah, who watches the boys on Fridays. And Saturday and Sunday has a picture of Jeff and I, since we’re home those days.

For the markers, I knew they would have to be construction trucks. It was almost by accident, but Jake helped me google images and picked out most of the markers himself, which is great because he’s that much more invested and excited about them. I will say, I printed a couple pages of black and white ones because I wasn’t sure I’d have enough to fill the chart if things went well, but had to just get rid of them because he refused to pick the black and white ones, ha!

I also did a google image searches for each of the chores so there would be a visual for each chore. At one point I googled “cereal clipart” and then I went to google “bath clipart” but instead I googled “cereal bath.” That’s a thing. Most of the images are NOT pretty.

Anyhow…I’m not gonna lie, printing, cutting, laminating, and cutting all those tiny markers was a lot a work. But we’re a few weeks in now and it’s been helping A LOT. Brushing his teeth has become much more bearable now that he knows he’ll get a sticker once he’s done, not to mention getting dressed. I also included all three meal times, which it just struck me that this is not a “chore” and not something most people would include on a chore chart, but for Jake, it IS a chore and although not 100% successful in these areas, I do think using the stickers as a reward has helped a little bit. It’s also helping us teach him the value of saving: he get’s a quarter a day if he gets enough stickers, and he knows that if he gets enough quarters, he can buy himself a toy. It’s hard for him to understand why he can’t have that toy NOW, but we’re getting there :)

My birthday was on Saturday. We had some plans with family later in the day, so I figured we would spend the morning doing mundane house stuff (picking up, doing laundry, etc.), but Jeff had the great idea of just heading out. So we did. And it was awesome. We drove through Trabuco Canyon which is so green and beautiful right now, and into Modjeska Canyon and the bird sanctuary they have there.

It was a little cold and drizzly, which made it quite beautiful. We hid under a tree for a little bit when it got a heavier, but I’m glad we stuck around and explored a little longer.

Excited to check out this bird viewing area in the Summer.

This is Billie the Bulldozer. Jake was busy doing a “yard pee” so mommy took care of him for a sec.

I’ve been simultaneously wanting to write this blog and also putting it off for quite some time now. I want to write it because I want other moms to know that it’s ok to feel like shit, or feel like you’re not doing a good job, or feel like you’re gonna lose your shit. Hormones are a bitch. Ok, enough foul language. I’ve also been putting it off because I feel like this one’s going to be a long one, and I’m not sure how well I can put into words what that experience was like. Also, I’m sure about five thousand other moms have written similar blogs. But I’m too lazy to do a quick Google search to corroborate; and I don’t want to see that my blog post is completely unnecessary, haha.

I noticed from the very beginning of my pregnancy that things weren’t going to be as rose-colored and full of excitement as they were when we were pregnant with Jake. I was apprehensive during most of my pregnancy: how will this new baby change our wonderful dynamic? How will this affect Jake and all the love and time I’m able to give him? I was almost jealous of the baby FOR Jake, which is crazy, right?

Then there were the challenges of being pregnant but not having the down time or comforts I had when I was pregnant with Jake. Back then, we were living with my in-laws, and at the beginning of my pregnancy I was self employed, so lots of down time, and no need to cook or clean or anything other than keeping myself and this growing baby alive and healthy. My pregnancy was a piece of cake! When I did start working, I would come home after work and fall asleep on the couch while my amazing mother-in-law cooked dinner for all of us. Are you jealous yet? I don’t blame you….This time, I had a house to look after, a toddler to run after, and a full time job that required a lot more energy. I just didn’t have the time or energy to really take it all in and enjoy it. The things I loved about my pregnancy with Jake were almost a hindrance with my pregnancy with Josh – feeling Josh move around constantly was at times just uncomfortable and got in the way of getting things done at work. Not to say there weren’t also times when that happened that I also LOVED-usually at the end of the day when I was sitting on the couch next to Jeff and we could both just live in the moment for a sec.

I remember so clearly and vividly the moment when I was saying good bye to Jake right before we went to the hospital to have Josh. I started crying immediately. I’m getting teary eyed right now just remembering that moment. He was so clueless about what was going to happen, but I was so, so, SO aware of how different things would be the next time I saw him. I knew it wouldn’t be all about him anymore, I knew I would never have that kind of undivided attention for him anymore, and it broke my heart.

And I was right. When Jeff brought Jake to the hospital to meet Josh, I was a nervous wreck. Granted, I had just gone through some pretty crazy shit giving birth to Josh (sans epidural, without choice, haha), and I had this tiny little baby in my arms that I was trying to connect with and bond with, while also trying to keep a 2.5 year old from squishing him to death. I was painfully relieved when Jeff took Jake home. We had to stay in the hospital under observation for an extra day, and although that felt like eternity, in retrospect it was great because it was the only true quality time I had to spend with Josh, ALONE. I got to stare at his face and hold him and squeeze him and stare at his face some more.

Then we got home. The hormones. Geez, the hormones. So the hormones made me feel like a crazy woman, I thought Josh hated me–I would spend all day feeding him and changing his diaper (and Jake’s, we were in the middle of potty training, which let me tell you…NOT good timing, haha), and get nothing, then dad would get home and get the biggest smiles. Let’s just say, that didn’t go over very well with me, haha. I found that with all the distractions of toddler and home, it was really hard for me to connect with Josh those first few months. It makes you feel like a terrible mother, honestly.

And man, the guilt. THE GUILT. It’s awful. I felt just awful that Jake had to wait, and hold on, and I have to do this first, and Josh needs, and I have to change Josh’s diaper, and “Jake, why are you so whiny?!” (in retrospect, it was pretty obvious why he was so whiny).

I remember having to go on nap drives for Jake–he wouldn’t fall asleep for his nap any other way. So I would have to drive around and around, which, you know, was inconvenient and a waste of gas, but doable. But with a newborn, it was madness. Josh wasn’t quite used to the car seat, and wasn’t as fond of it as Jake was when Jake was a baby. So from the moment I got them in the car to the moment I got them out, my back was so tense from stressing out and trying to keep Josh calm long enough for Jake to fall asleep. Once Jake was asleep, then I had to get them both out of the car. I would unload Josh first and leave him in the living room while I got Jake out and put him in his bed, at which point Josh would already be screaming for me to get him out of his car seat, and how, oh how could I leave him there for two minutes?! Oh man. Come to find out after I went back to work, that all I had to do was ask Jake to take his nap in his bed, and apparently that would have resolved that issue, ha!

Bed time was tricky and extremely difficult for me for the first two weeks, at least. I used to put Jake to sleep, but it was so hard to do when it was also the winding down time of the witching hour and Josh was super needy for me. I remember laying in bed with one baby crying and the other clinging to me and trying to get on me, and looking at Jeff who just didn’t know how to help (there was really nothing he could do), and I remember looking at him and silently crying and saying “I can’t do this.” God bless that man for keeping me sane.

Bed time was also the culmination of a long day of being sleep deprived, and looking forward to another night of waking up every two hours (that part hasn’t changed much, nine months later). I had never experienced that kind of sleep deprivation before, and how it just messes with your mind, not to mention erodes your patience. With the first kid, you can usually sneak in some naps with him or at least take it easy during the day. But when there’s a toddler running around, that’s not quite an option anymore. So you just keep going and going and not sleeping and not sleeping. It’s no fun for your body!

In October we went camping around Lake Arrowhead for a night, and I don’t know if it was just being away from the house and chores and not having so many distractions, but I remember coming home and realizing that I finally felt a good connection with Josh. I had spent a lot of time with him in a ring sling or the carrier, so maybe we just had some good bonding time, but I definitely see that as the turning point of things. We definitely have a routine now that helps keep us all sane, although it’s also a little INsane to do the same routine day in and day out, but I can honestly say that I can’t imagine my life without both of these boys. Josh is full of smiles and giggles and rolls, and Jake is the sweetest and kindest big brother, even if he’s not fond of sharing his toys.

It still breaks my heart a little bit when Jake goes to Jeff for something that he normally would have asked me for, but I can’t blame him for it-I’ve had to turn him away so many times because there are still things that I have to do for and with Josh, that just don’t allow me the time with Jake. I do miss Jake terribly at times, and although I’m in love with Josh and love my moments with him, I’m looking forward to the day when Josh is old enough that I can split my time with them a little more evenly.

So this was the bad and the ugly, just so everyone doesn’t think it’s all roses and butterflies, BUT, the bad and the ugly don’t last forever. One great thing about this being our second child was that we KNEW, with absolute certainty, that that stage wouldn’t last forever. The witching hour evenings wouldn’t last forever. The up all night feedings won’t last forever (although that’s gone on way longer that it should have). The hormones won’t make you feel crazy forever. And as long as you can keep your eye on that faint light at the end of the tunnel….you’ll be rewarded with sunshines and butterflies for days on end.

Well, it’s been a while again, hasn’t it? I was reading someone else’s family blog and realized I miss writing about my own little family and all the stuff I/we’ve been up to. So, in the free minutes I have, here’s what’s been going on:

Meeting my dad. The biggie is that I met my dad and his family for the first time last month. I found him last year around October or so. It was weird: I came in to work and searched an Obama speech that I wanted to listen to, saw an ad at the bottom about finding people, entered my dad’s name as I occasionally do on generic web searches, one thing led to another, and boom, all the dots were connecting. It felt a little like this, to be honest…

Which reminded me of this..

Anyhow…it was a bit of a bombshell for my three sisters, and things have taken time to develop, but the boys and I headed to Arizona last month to visit some of Jeff’s family so I decided to take the leap and see if they were ready to meet. I’m so glad they were. Jeff, the boys, and I went over to their house for lunch and it was really nice to get to meet them each in person and get to know them a little better. Unlike my expectation, it wasn’t awkward, but I do think it was a little emotionally tense: trying to figure out our comfort levels and boundaries (too soon to hug? do I call him dad? what do we tell Jake?), and I think most of us were a little nervous about how it would go. Thankfully it went well enough that we all want to see each other again and get to know each other, although the distance does make that a little challenging.

One thing I didn’t think about when I reached out to them last year were the ripples. I’ll admit I was selfish and just thought of myself and that I had a “right” to reach out to my dad. I didn’t think about the girls and what that would put them through. Or my mom and how she would feel (although I did give her a heads up that I had found them and again when I decided to meet them). Or my aunts and cousins. I really hadn’t considered how this would affect so many people, and in every sense that has been the most challenging aspect of this journey.

When I found him and when I met him, people kept asking how I was doing and how I was feeling…I think expecting a hot emotional mess. I think we’re all dealing a little with the “what if’s” that I was starting to come to terms with a few years ago, but over all it’s been very non-dramatic. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been holding on to any resentment or bitterness for the last 33 years, but I’ve been fine. I’m honestly just excited to meet my dad and his family and get to know them. I have an amazing family as is, so if meeting them hadn’t worked out, it would have been a bummer but thankfully I have a wonderful and supportive family already, so my risk was non-existent. Finding my dad and his family is icing on the cake. And I mean, who doesn’t love icing, right? But this cake is pretty delicious by itself also :) But I have to admit, I’m pretty excited about getting to know each of them.

Phew, maybe that should have been a separate blog post, haha, but let’s move on to some less intense updates.

Cooking. I’ve never been a huge fan of cooking. My grandma cooked for us every day and did it solo (I just snuck in to steal tomatoes), and my mom was a lone wolf in the kitchen as well. It was something that needed to get done, food had to be put on the table, and that was that. Except for annual tamale making around Christmas, cooking isn’t really family tradition for me, or something that I’ve grown up learning. So it’s a chore. And one that became even more daunting when Jake starting eating adult food (man, I really wish he would eat-he’s a terrible eater), and cooking “healthy” food became even more important. Throughout our entire relationship (ten years now!), Jeff and I have talked about eating better and exercising regularly. The exercising hasn’t stuck, but there’s something about someone’s life depending on you that makes you want to only do the best by him. I’m not saying we shop at Whole Foods and are vegan, but we try to cook at home more which I count as a success.

The routine of work, home, dinner, clean up, bath time, bedtime, is exhausting, repetitive, and…less than thrilling. Up until recently I really dreaded cooking. I felt like it took me away from hanging out with the boys or doing something more productive or exciting around the house. Thankfully Jeff has always liked my cooking, and recently he’s loved it. And I think that’s made a huge difference in how I approach cooking. I love making food that my family loves (Jake loves my cornbread…that’s about it, but I’ll take it for now). I love the praise I get from Jeff when I cook, and I love knowing that my family is eating something healthier than eating out constantly. Maybe not in the sense of healthy food (we eat more than our fair share of southern, fried stuff…), but at least I know there aren’t a ton of preservatives in it!

So as of last week, I’m enjoying cooking! Buying groceries every week though….ew.

Gilmore Girls. I just finished watching the new episodes of Gilmore Girls. My mom came over after Thanksgiving so we could watch it together since it was our thing when the show was on, but man, throw a toddler and a baby into the mix and we paused the episode so many times and I yelled at Jake so many other times, that I was exhausted and thankful when the first credits rolled up. I’ve managed to watch the rest after I put Josh to sleep and during my pumping sessions at work, and finished up last night. It wasn’t all perfect, but I have to say, I loved the imperfection of Rory’s life. Not all of us land that dream job, even if we were smart and ambitious at one point. I found it refreshing, maybe because it reflects my life a little: sometimes you don’t get exactly what you thought you wanted, but you get so much more!

The moment you’ve all been waiting for: The boys. The boys are doing great :) The first two-three months of Josh’s life were hard. HARD. This blog is getting pretty lengthy so I’ll save my pearls of wisdom of those first three months for a separate blog post, but thankfully now we’ve all gotten into our new regular of being a family of four. Josh is still keeping me up at night a lot (nursing every 2-3 hours, not awake and screaming, thankfully), but I’m also a sissy about sleep training, so I guess it’s my own fault. Other than that, he’s great. He’s pulling himself up everywhere, he’s mastered the army crawl, and really likes to be walked around everywhere now. I’m sure he’ll be walking in no time! He loves to give me open mouth, wet, kisses, and he is so so happy when I get home, it truly makes my heart happy. He’s constantly smiling, and has the most amazing crinkle nose smile!

And Jake. What can I say without sounding like “that” mother? He’s truly an amazing child. I mean it. He uses words like “frustrated,” “comfortable,” “area,” and “vehicle” to name a few. And he uses them all correctly! He knows plurals, and when to use us/them/their/me. He can have a lengthy discussion with you about his toys and the latest Tayo episode. And those are my favorite moments. When he is so excited about something that he just goes on and on and on. And he’s so sweet and kind, and always willing to lend a hand (and…and…and…). I love the relationships he has with his grandparents, and he loves them each so dearly. Things I don’t love: how hard it is to get him to eat, his dry skin/allergies, his quickness to get angry/frustrated with toys, how often he says “I’m mad” or asks “are you happy?” He’s always concerned about our happiness and making sure we’re not upset, haha.

Jeff. I know this blog is way too long already, but I can’t leave Jeff out. I truly, honestly, can’t imagine my life without him. Believe it or not, I get moody. A lot. My mom knows. And Jeff knows. And they both still love me the same and are amazing support people for me.

This parenting thing is no joke, but I am so blessed to be able to do it with a man that is patient, understanding, considerate, loving, etc., etc., etc. For example, last night at the dinner table he noticed that I forgot to get a glass of water, so he got one for me. I mean, he was already sitting down eating his food, trying to get Jake to eat, and NOTICED that. Insert heart googly eyes here.

I also love our parenting system: I love that it’s not a 50-50 in the sense that we have to split everything down the middle, we just work within our strengths and weaknesses. And it works for us.

Ok, I’ll let you all resume your normal daily activities. I really am going to try to blog more frequently so each blog doesn’t become a mini-novela.

Christmas Eve, just before midnight, found me at my aunt’s house, laying on a blow up mattress in the dark with my husband and 16 month old baby (I still can’t bring myself to call him a toddler…). As I lay there listening to my cousins take shots and yell out which song they should play next, and my aunts laughing as they exchanged stories, I couldn’t help but laugh.

I was super shy when I was little. Even around my family. So our Christmas Eve midnight celebration was sometimes too much for me to handle, I would just get overwhelmed and feel super uncomfortable. I specifically remember one year running to the exact same room in my aunt’s house and laying on the bunk bed in the dark, and crying. Not a crazy, emotional sob, but just, I dunno, “I”m really uncomfortable” crying, does that make any sense? I still can’t understand why I felt this way, I mean, I love my family and they’re all great, so I don’t understand why I would feel so shy and introverted around them.

Anyhow, here I am, decades later, in the same exact room, in the dark, at the same time of the year, but this time I’m trapped in here because of my son, who obviously was very tired and needed to sleep (and also wasn’t feeling well), but couldn’t quite stay asleep with all the celebrations going on outside the room. I had to laugh that when I was little I voluntarily secluded myself, and years later here I was just wanting to be outside this darn room, but couldn’t because dammit, I’m an adult now with responsibilities. It was funny to me how some things change, and some don’t.

Summer break is over! I can’t believe my six weeks off came and went. And…I only posted two blogs, haha. I’m not gonna lie, the idea of wanting to post all Summer long and not having or making the time to was a bit of a stresser!

Every day I’d say to myself, ok, tonight, after I get Jake to bed, I’m gonna jump on the computer and work on some blogs. I have ideas on blog posts for this blog, for The Merry Ministers, for Nuestras Manos, and I’ve been wanting to update Jeff’s photography website as well. Maybe that was my problem: overwhelming myself with blogs!

My grandiose idea of blogging early in the morning before Jake woke up quickly went out the window when I started staying up later after Jake went to bed, and subsequently sleeping in with him. I will admit though, these were the best parts of my day: slowly waking up with Jake, and having him snuggle and cuddle with me was the best feeling ever. He’s such a cuddle bug when he’s going to sleep and waking up!

To be honest, I don’t even know what we did most of the Summer. The first couple weeks were spent just organizing stuff around the apartment, then I started working on decorations and ideas for Jake’s first birthday party (which is this Saturday, yipee!).

All sorts of DIY projects for Jake’s birthday party

In between, there was a lot of walking around the neighborhood to get him to take his naps, a lot of going to the grocery store for dinner, lots and lots of laundry and taking care of our backyard, and LOTS of picking up toys…all day, every damn day.

We did manage to have some fun, I just wish daddy would have been able to join us on our adventures!

Learned to put food on our head while Jake’s godmother visited us, and loved playing in the pool!

Paid our first (free!*) visit to LACMA with mommy’s college friends, Dana and Ana

Went on a free wagon tour at Tanaka Farms in Irvine…so hot but Jake LOVED those fresh, super sweet strawberries :)

Went to the petting zoo in San Juan Capistrano while cousin Brayden was visiting from Arizona

I do have to admit that the first couple weeks were a little emotionally difficult for me. I’m not sure if it was a delayed postpartum depression or just hormones that are still going crazy, but I really wasn’t myself. I don’t know if it was just adjusting to hanging out with a baby all day and not interacting with adults (which can get difficult), or again getting used to not getting anything done that I wanted to get done. It did give me some insight into how uncontrollable certain feelings can be (I knew I was being irrational about stuff, but I just couldn’t help feeling the way I was feeling), and how scary that can be. So glad that only lasted a couple weeks.

Now it’s back to work, which our bank account is happy about, but I’m already missing my complete days with Jake and being able to keep the house picked up every day. Did someone say Thanksgiving break? :)

*LACMA is free for children 17 and under, and if you have a NexGen membership, it also allows you to get one adult in free with your child. Then you only have to worry about the $12 for parking! Or…drive around and find metered parking.

Well, it wasn’t exactly the way I plan all my days to go, but it was a great start!

I got up early to shower before Jeff went to work, after which Jake was already awake (so no early morning blog today!). After Jeff went to work, I drank my coffee while Jake played with his toys in the living room, and then he played in the backyard with some rocks and dirt–under close supervision, of course–while I did some yard work and took care of some stuff on my lap top.

After that we heard the trash truck outside, and Jake just had to see what was going on, so we went outside and waved to the the trash man. Jake was so serious, just watching the whole time, like this was life and death stuff going on. We then walked to the leasing office and took care of a bunch of business, then ran a bunch of errands before going to grandma and grandpa’s to watch the USA vs. Belgium game. Jake was dressed for the occasion:

Then it was time to stop by the grocery store to stock up on fruits and snacks for all of us–I spent pretty much everything I had cashed in in change at the bank earlier in the day, haha. Money in, money out. Jake played with his new pool toy for a little bit:

He would walk it over to the kitchen, then get inside and sit down, waiting patiently for me to choo choo him back to the living room, where he’d get out, walk it back to the kitchen, and do it all over again. He’s too much!

We had one more trash truck observation…

“What is that I hear??”

(Jake does this “paint me like one of your French girls” pose all the time…)

“Hurry up mommy!”

…then we met up with the family for dinner, after which it was bath time, play time, and bed time! Hoping for less errands and more fun tomorrow :)

So my new job working for the school district means that I get (unpaid) Summer’s off! As financially challenging and stressful as this will be, I’m counting down the days (three) to be able to stay home with Jake, play housewife, and organize and Pinterest like crazy (I want to do all of these and these–totally doable)!

In my ideal world, here’s what our Summer days would look like:

Jeff goes to work, I get up and write a blog on here or Nuestras Manos or The Merry Ministers. I’m usually awake by 6/6:30 a.m., and on weekends the boys tend to “sleep in” until 7:30-8:00 a.m., so I think this should be doable.

After Jake wakes up, we eat breakfast, I pick up the house a little, work on the backyard, some playtime, and then go for a walk/run (ha! me? running? I did say “ideal”…).

Get back home, maybe hit the pool for a little bit, maybe do some crafting/organizing/making stuff for Jake’s birthday while he takes a three hour nap….

We do the lunch thing (maybe meet daddy for lunch), then figure out what we’re making for dinner. Go to the grocery store, maybe meet up for a play date.

Another three hour nap where mommy can do all of the above that hasn’t gotten done.

Then it’s dinner, bath time, bed time, and a glass of wine or beer with the honey!

On a few days, I want to take Jake to some museums, go to the beach, and just have a few adventures.

I have a feeling most of my day will be watching and playing with him rather than really getting anything done, but I’m open to the possibilities and excited for the next month and a half!

A while back, Jeff was interviewed for a blog write up on fatherhood. I know I’m a week late on taking advantage of Father’s Day to share this with everyone, but I just loved his responses so much, that I wanted to share with everyone how amazing of a father my husband is!

What is the one piece of advice, that you now realize, would have been extremely beneficial for you to know prior to the arrival of your child?

You don’t need to bring that much to the hospital. There are all kinds of lists of things you should bring: clothes, music, pen and paper, snacks, hairdryer, hard candy. The list just goes on and on. And being new parents we figured better safe than sorry. By the time we were going up to the room I could barely walk with all the unnecessary stuff we packed (not to mention leaving the hospital with even more stuff). We ended up using one pair of socks for mom, a bottle of water, and clothes for the new baby. If you do feel the need to be over prepared, leave it in the car and have someone else bring it up to you if needed.

What has been the most impactful way life has changed for you and your family since the arrival of your child?

He never leaves. Obviously. But the reality is much different than the mental preparation. You may think “oh I’ve been around kids all the time, I ‘ll be fine.” But the big difference is those kids eventually go home and you are again left to shower, sleep and take your time in the bathroom without interruption. This is now not the case. He is there crying of hunger or tired or needing a clean diaper, and if he’s not unhappy then he’s smiling and that can be even harder to walk away from.

What is one thing you are looking forward to experiencing with your family?

So many things but the one I look forward to the most is probably Christmas morning. Seeing his little sleep deprived eyes light up when he sees the gifts around the tree. That first moment in the cold, early morning and he just can’t possibly wait another minute. And he sees that the milk and cookies we left Santa are gone. And the carrots for the reindeer have been eaten. There’s something magical about that morning when you’re little. I can’t wait to see my little boy enjoy that.

What do you fear the most about being a new dad?

Just that he is OK. My mom always worried so much about me and my brothers and it always seemed excessive. “Just relax mom, we’re fine” and she would always reply with “you’ll understand when you have your own.” So true. You will never know how much you can worry about someone until you have a child. For the first week or so his every little sound (or lack thereof) in the middle of the night would get us up in a flash to make sure he was ok. And I pride myself in being a very calm and rational person. Most rationale goes out the window the minute your wife wakes you up in the middle of the night asking you to come look at this redness on his back . His every little pimple and spot was immediately Googled. Which in most cases only added to the worry (he has some redness on his butt, looks like it could be lupus). But things have calmed down in the worry department now that we have gotten used to our little dude. But every time he’s on his way home with mom from grandma’s house I find myself saying “drive safe”, and “watch out at intersections” and “text me when you get there.” And he’s not even driving yet.