Something I do with my own haiku & poetry, and this may only be my own aesthetic at work, is to constantly pair away as many words as possible. Words get in the way; and, to me, the fewest that can express an idea frequently posses the most expressiveness and clarity. It's sort of like Zen gardening for poetry. What distinguishes weeds from flowers is often - not much. But once one gets the weeds out of the way, the flowers bloom.

So, as an example of what I would do with your haiku:

mango splicepainting away the autumn blues

And that's my 2 cents. Not sure everyone would agree with me but - just my thoughts. As usual, though, your ideas are original and fresh. I love them.

Mango Splice is the actual name of the paint I used. Its also the name of an icecream - so it has that summer nostalgia feel.

As for your re-write - well, you might be right again Patrick. That makes two in a row.

For what its worth I may have got there in the end. Im finding I have this impulsive streak when it comes to writing/blogging. I dont think theres a haiku on here I havent fiddled with a day after its posted. I just cant muster the strength to sit on a haiku for a day or two before sticking it out here for the world to see.

I used to visit a children's illustrator who lived close by. I took my children to visit with her sometimes. Her name was Trina Schart-Hyman. I loved her house. She would write her favorite poems and literary passages on the walls - everywhere. The house was magical.

Knowing me, Id probably want to change a word - so I suspect painting a haiku on the wall, or getting a tattoo, is probably out of the question (that, and my three year old would probably object - he has firm views on these things).