Two Rules

Thursday, July 14th, 2011

After 2 or 3 days, I’ve settled on the idea that this should make the cut, after all:

A Washington Post journalist on the scene confirmed the first lady, who’s made a cause out of child nutrition, ordered a ShackBurger, fries, chocolate shake and a Diet Coke while the street and sidewalk in front of the usually-packed Shake Shack were closed by security during her visit.

According to nutritional information on Shake Shack’s Web site, the meal amounted to 1,700 calories.

And my initial inclination is to agree. Eating healthy, after all, doesn’t have anything to do with complete and total abstinence. Besides, Michelle is just being a bossy bitch, a hypocrite and something of a glutton; we can put up with that all day long. Her husband is wrestling with a debt crisis measuring 14 trillion big-uns from stem to stern, and His answer to the problem is to spend more & spend faster. Clearly, He is causing more damage than she is.

But I decided it should be discussed, after all, because when the voters vote a certain way, issues that would otherwise be unimportant, become important. Doesn’t matter if it makes sense. If it all boiled down to how much sense things make, there wouldn’t be any liberals to worry about.

You resolve to do your civic duty and pay attention to this stuff, you lose touch with the people who don’t pay attention. That’s north of ninety percent, estimating conservatively. Most voters don’t pay attention.

Most voters tolerate liberalism.

Right up until you reckon with the two rules. You know what I mean by that: The one rule for them, the other rule for you.

Michelle Obama’s pork-fest had nothing at all to do with an occasional indulgence. It had to do with seeing things she likes to eat, ordering them up, and eating them…which she’s allowed to do, and others are not. Yes, she does think she’s better than anybody else. She’s a liberal. It’s in the job description. See, there’s this problem over here…or something happened…or there’s an anecdote someone has to tell…or there is a perception that someone might possibly get hurt…so we needs us a new rule. Or a program. Or a new agency. Or an agency to oversee a program or a program to provide a new rule, or a new rule about programs…or something. Regulations. People who like them call them “standards,” people who don’t like them call them “restrictions.”

But — say the liberals — that’s for everybody else. Not me. I know which way is up, and what’s what.

I decided to go ahead and blog it, because of the power of food. Miraculous things happen when liberals meet up with food. See, if there is harm being done because people are eating the wrong food, there is some difficulty involved in measuring that. Yeah you step on the scale and it registers higher than you like, that’s measurable — but why exactly? Can you blame any one part of your diet for it? It’s more likely to be a lack of exercise.

Never accuse a liberal of being afraid to act for lack of knowledge, though. They always know plenty enough to hand down some new rules. And if your name isn’t Michelle Obama, there will be no “occasional indulgences” about it. None at all. Rules is rules. Did you hear Michelle Obama say something about permitting yourself the occasional 1,700-calorie indulgence when she was planting that vegetable garden? Me neither.

You see, a 1,700-calorie occasional indulgence is fun. Fun isn’t for you. Fun is for them. Well okay, when they get caught having their fun and there’s some kind of a hoop-de-doo about it and they’re forced to dish out some pablum to make the hoop-de-doo go away, they’ll grant that you’re supposed to have your fun too…and you’re a blithering idiot for ever having dared to think otherwise. They’ll get into their “I never said” mode and start their hair-splitting, reliable as a sunrise. But when the idea is first proposed — no. You are supposed to leave your bagged or boxed lunch at home, kids, because your parents can’t be trusted. Line up, grab a tray, get your half-pound of government-regulated mystery-meat glop, five days a week. Who knows whether it’s good or bad — someone has counted the grams of protein and the calories and made a point of mentioning the artificial coloring…nobody really knows how healthy it is, or even if it’s healthy at all, science doesn’t really know. But if it isn’t healthy, all the kids are equally partaking in equally healthy stuff. That’s the important thing. Equal, equal, equal.

For you. Not for me.

So yes, I think Pandagon has a point. It is possible to eat in a healthy way, and still share a mega-calorie lunch with Michelle O (if she thinks you’re good enough to breathe her oxygen). But Main Street needs to be reminded of this ugly streak liberals have, of their “do as I say and not as I do” attitude. It’s important because it doesn’t play in Peoria. Main Street takes a dim view of it; as it should.

It all comes down to this: They’re planning a future for the rest of us, and it isn’t good enough for them, just for the rest of us. They, left to their own devices, wouldn’t want to live in what they’re building.

Does anything else matter as much as that does?

Yes, Republican ad-makers, my customary ultimatum/reprimand applies once again: I want to see some commercials about this, or else some among you should be fired. It’s important.

If it all boiled down to how much sense things make, there wouldn’t be any liberals to worry about.