Friday, March 21, 2008

Blogger's being stupid today and I can't insert any pictures or links. I can't spell check, and I can't preview how the post looks. So, I guess you'll have to wait to hear about my wonderful, fun-filled, first day of spring break. (And here I was thinking that my kids had been really good lately...)

So instead, I'm putting out a plea to the awesomist (yes, it's a word!) readers in the world: YOU! I'm creating a FAQ page for my book and am in need of some frequently asked questions to answer. Here's your chance to have your question featured in my book. Just leave me a comment with a question. Ask me general questions as opposed to ones pertaining to specific, past posts of mine.

Hoo boy, I'm thinking that I'm going to have to go through a trabillion (yes, that's a word too!) questions this Sunday.

How do I not gag when a child that is not my own snots, sneezes, pees,poops or any any other way slimes me? ;^) If your anything like me you can catch your own but another kid..... Or a different version of that question, How can I explain to my sister (who has no children!), that you shouldn't gag when you see your sister catch her own children's snot, sneezes, pee, poop, (in no particular order) lollipops or any other slime that they might issue!Love your blog and I check in everyday. Puts a GREAT spin on the "hum drum" lives of mommies! Thanks

I love Enchanted. Ok. As a mom, what is the one area you wish you could improve on? What is the one area you feel you are strongest in? That was 2 questions. poop, butt - that is so my question will come up when googled.

Are you scared how your book will be recieved when it comes out? I told my husband to buy it for me; when it comes out. Also do you think you will be nervous to meet your fans? I would like to get your autograph.:) Susan

Hi Dawn! I love your blog, and can't wait for your book! It's already on my Birthday list! My question for your book is....Are you planning on having any more children?I love big families, and would love to have one someday, if my husband allows (ha ha), so I was just curious how big your family will be. Thanks!!

This may not be for your book, but I do have to ask (I have 3 boys ages 11, 9 and almost 6). Do YOU have any holes in your walls? Also, do you have 500 pairs of socks with holes in them? BTW, I totally don't mind doing laundry, but I HATE sorting socks! :)

Ah Ha! Lightbulb moment! I finally found where to add a comment after reading your blog fo almost a year (pokemon ebay auction ~ of course!)

Dawn, first I wanted to say thank you. You have really helped me look at the funny side of things, instead of the poor me side of things. Thank you very much. I look forward to buying your book and wonder when you will find time to fly out to California to sign it for me. :)

I read the google thing tonight. I was wondering if you make those up or if they are real? I guess I just can't imagine anyone googling blue colar runny butt, or whatever it was! LOL!

Okay, you probably get a lot of weirdos like me that type to you as if you were my best friend. Sorry. I just had to let you know how much I appreciate your blog. Really and truely.

Keep it up! You really are making a difference in people's lives, and not just the ones you live with...Okay here is my mom question...How the hell do you deal with homework for that many kids? Mine are a pita! I have made the rule: come home, do homework, no tv, friends, telephone, games, nothing until homework is done. That has helped, but still the whining, complaining, time taking, and the kids are as bad as me. ... LOL!Luv ya , Dawn and thank you! ~Just Me

I'm sure you already have these questions, but:1. What are your kids' names and what order are they in?2. What do you love best about each kid?3. What do you and Joe like to do together on those rare occasions that you can get away from the kids?4. What's your favorite book and/or author?

Did you have any idea when you listed the pokeman cards on ebay with the accompanying hilarious story, that you would increase the readership of your blog ten-fold and have such fantastic opportunities come your way?

Thanks for letting us have a peek into your life. I think your children are pretty lucky.

Hope it's not too personal, but a couple questions I've always wondered about. How much are your grocery bills a week/month? We're a family of 5. My boys are 6, 4 & 2yrs. I'm truly frightened we may need to take out a 2nd mortgage when they hit puberty! Do you shop at Costo/Sam's Club type stores? Are you a coupon clipper? What types of meals do you prepare? ie. I'm thinking a single box of KD (Kraft Dinner) ain't gonna cut it.

Here's a good question for your FAQ - How do you handle the annoying people asking you if you'll have more children? Or better yet, this is one I get often... "really, another one? Don't you want to take a break for a while?"

Drives me crazy when strangers at Wal-Mart comment on my plans to reproduce.

On a side note, I saw this article the other day and thought of your birthday present! http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080314/od_nm/engagement_dc

Did you do any writing before your blog? Why did you decide to create a blog? Are you Erma Bombeck reincarnated?If you could choose only one kid who would it be? (OK, that's still my favorite stupid question.)

Did you always know that you wanted to have kids? If so, did you know how many? What about being a mom made you decide to keep going after each child was born? For me it was when they each turned two and I suddenly had that yearning to try for one more.

OK heres a question for you. Are you going to have a say on what goes on the cover of your book? Will there be funny pictures in it? If you were a tree what kind would you be? LOL Oh one more. Is there a teacher that you had in school that made you want to write or encouraged you in your talent> OK I am done.

If your looking for general mom type questions the one I never got a straight answer for (As if you give straight answers) was how much and when do I feed my infant. If you are looking for you specific questions, how often do you take time for yourself and how often do you and your husband get to take time together without the kids?

i know you've answered these questions before, however i can't find the blogs, so if you could at least redirect me, i'd really really appreciate it, 1st, which site monitor do you use that gets you the google search responses? and 2nd, how do you do the strike through thing? thanks so much...and as far as most common questions, it seems as though you often get "did you plan on your kids going boy girl boy girl boy girl?"...mine go girl boy girl boy by the way, and i get the same stupid question or the idiotic "lucky you"...how am i lucky to have that pattern? would it be worse for me to have "girl girl boy boy" or some other combo? anyway...thanks so much...

Heres one that I get almost every time that people find out I have six children. "Oh my goodness how do you cope?" or " How much do you spend on groceries?"or "Do they all get along?" lol I could come up with so many more but I will leave them to the other readers lol.

THANK GOD you said something on your blog about the problems you were experiencing! Since I'm a NEWBIE here, I thought I'd gotten some kinda BUG in (what my 3 y.o. granddaughter refers to as) my "pewder."

Okay...So I'm guessing that there will be at LEAST 50 people submitting this Q:

How in the WORLD do you get your son to stop peeing on the seat (or maybe I should start with my husband...). :) I have been fighting my 5-year-old for over a year on this. I can't believe how much of a mess he can make. When I asked him, he responded: "Mom, penises are very naughty. They can't help it." What?!? So, any help? How did you keep your sanity (and your bathroom clean) with boys?

How on earth do you manage to get everyone dressed and ready for school etc in the mornings?? Are you always late?? I know I would be. I have trouble getting three kids up, dressed in their own clothes not someone elses, bags packed and out the door. Sometimes I drive them in my jarmies!!

I have been an avid reader of your blog since last July....I truly am so happy for your success.

My question is:

Are you planning on doing something special with any of your profits from your book(besides saving for college, etc)? For example, taking an extravagant vacation, buying a new vehicle, buying a larger home? In my opinion, you sure do deserve something extra special for yourself and your family.

I get the stares and glares all the time just having 4 kids, and I know you do too so how do you deal with the constant..."You've got your hands full", "Wow, you must be busy", "Are they all yours?", and the ever so popular, "You know what cause that don't you" questions from people when you go out in public.

Oh, and how do you manage to keep up with everything, both the big things and little things? Trimming fingernails and hair, sorting socks into pairs, making sure homework is done, getting all the dishes cleaned before they're needed again, periodically spending a little one-on-one time with the kids, arranging it so everyone eats dinner at the same time and you're not stuck eating hours after everyone else, etc. and so forth? I have three boys (2, 7, and 12), and there's never enough time to keep up with everything. Do you have a schedule or daily routine that you follow, or do you just "wing it"?

Did Eileen just write that your house is 1000 square feet? For eight humans? Oh. My. God. Saint Dawn. You should start ebaying scraps of your old clothing as religious relics.

Okay, questions:

1. If you are going out (say, to 10 am mass), how early does the alarm have to go off in order for all eight of you to get there on time?

2. I'm interested in a "worst situation" story. Of all the many, many gooey, icky, snarky, nasty, poopy, snotty, dirty, gaggy situations that crop up during motherhood, what is the WORST memory that comes to mind? You know, what is the most disgusting story you will tell your 36 grandchildren about? (And are lice involved?)

3. Readers will probably want to identify with you and find some comfort along with the humor in your book. Most moms have a "lose it" moment where the pressure gets to them. Perhaps you could share a moment when you just lost it. That way your readers can laugh (you'll probably add a big dose of humor to your scenario) while feeling better about their OWN "lose it" moment. Make sense?

Okay, in light of the movie you just watched last night... :-)As a mother to three (two of them girls ages 4 and 7), I find myself singing along to many kids' songs. Some of the songs I like, some of them I LOVE, and some of them I can't believe the words are actually coming out of my mouth! So, my question is, what kid's song do you sing along to and actually love? In case you want a second question, which one do you wish you could forget?

BTW, I live in the Chicago area, too (western suburbs)...what's up with this snow?? I thought we were done!! :-)

How do you respond to people who ask if you know what makes those babies? And if you know how to stop it. I know people ask that, some people are kinda rude! I would guess you would have a very funny answer for them. And how do you manage to get any time alone with your husband? Just wondering, I only have 3 kids and 1 is out of the house and I still have trouble spending quality time with my husband.

We know so much about you through your blog; it's hard to think of questions.

I'm curious how involved your parents and in-laws are with your kids. We work really hard to not overindulge our kids at holidays, but being that our 2 kids are the only grandkids, my in-laws really go nuts.

Also, do you have any hobbies? If you do, how do you find time? I have a zillion things I love to do, but with 2 kids I rarely get time.

SSO Q:How much time do you spend writing both your blog posts and your book? How do you find the time with the little ones/aka how do you prevent Brooklyn from getting into stuff while you write or do you attempt it only when the kiddos are asleep? Thought I'd ask since I have this challenge myself with my book & blog writing as well.

quote: "Do YOU have any holes in your walls?" As another fellow Mom of 3 boys (6,4, & 2) I'd also like to know the answer to this. Mine have Hotwheel competitions to see who can throw theirs the hardest and make the biggest hole!

How do you deal with having to divide your time between kids at school and pre-school? Meaning: Open House, Valentine's Day parties, Mother's Day parties, etc. It seems they always schedule my pre-school and school events at the same time.

How do you handle the loss of identity? From going from hard-working, fully-dressed, seemingly intellegent, useful part of society to hard-working, unmatched socks (only ones clean), snotwiping "(pick child's name)'s Mom"?

And last off, how do you handle it when sometimes you may not like your child through a certain stage? You love them, sure, but you've heard the same thing 120,004times and you just can't hear it any more. Or they are going through a "bratty" period where rules don't apply to them and you've had to tell them 66,605 times not to jump on the sofa like a trampoline. Or they are clingy and attached to your leg and you have too much to do that week. How do you deal with the guilt?

Do you let your little children cry, for a few minutes, when you put them down for a nap or for bed or do you get up with them every time they wake up during the night? my mom let us sleep and it worked well.

Here is a question maybe for the SSO. Seriously, have you ever really thought about homeschooling your kids? My mom homeschooled all 12 of us.

Hi Dawn, This is question # 1. Are you having fun writing this book? #2. How much toilet paper do you go through in a week? See where my mind is.. in my chance to ask a brilliant question! Ok #3. Just how many licks Does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop? You must know?! Kristine in Michigan.

Ok Dawn.What is your family's favorite meal that you make - meaning the one that... is it possible there's one that EVERYONE likes? (has to be a dish you MAKE, not favorite place you order pizza ;p) (Could be from freezer or box like a Hamburger Helper.)

And next, a comment. Not that I'm admitting to snacking on night crawlers, but I'm waiting with BAITED BREATH for your book to come out!!!(is that a book-worthy comment?)

How do you decide where to go for outings with the entire family? I have 5 kids (ages 4-12) and it's hard to make everyone happy. Do your little ones just kind of tag along and are happy to be included no matter where you are going?- Monica

I have followed your blog and read every one of your posts. You seem like you've heard it all. Do strangers without children ever compare motherhood to raising dogs or cats? People on the airplane or in the grocery store occasionally tell me how they know what it's like taking care of children since their 3 dogs are quite a handful, etc. Do you ever hear this and how to you respond? -Holly

What is that one thing that you do as a Mom that reminds you of your own Mom??

And...

How active is your "extended" family in your family life?

As for me, I do tons of stuff like my mom always did, but the biggest is laying out clothes/socks/backpacks... the night before school to solve the morning confusion. You know..."Mom, I don't want to wear that shirt...where are my socks....".