A Mayan Apocalypse Playlist, Just in Case

3, Johnny Cash - "The Man Comes Around"
I'll take prophecy as gospel only when dictated by the almighty Johnny Cash. When a murder of crows rises, expect the skies to darken. No salaam, no shalom. But when a suicide of slow-turners convenes for an eve's worth of recklessness and debauch, expect a 5 a.m. phone call. Who from? It'll have to wait until Saturday.

2. Prince - "1999"
If the apocalypse ever requires a makeover and/or a spokesperson, that person in charge would be Prince. Who else could glam up impending doom and get you thinking about soft thighs than this dude? Wardrobes excluded, every night should be a 1999 party. Tonight's no exception.

1. Rebecca Black - "Friday"
This poor girl has suffered so much, maybe even as much as we have suffered since this dropped when? A little over a year ago? The agony! While it was perfectly okay to demand "death" and stuff back then, we firmly believe that this track should serve as a rallying call to partiers everywhere like a "never forget" meme of sorts. If we survive the night, let's never fall for this type of thing again!

Party safely tonight, the same way you should every night because the Maya were wrong and the Grind forges along!