Goatse

What is Goatse?

Goatse
was the first ever internet shock site and remains infamous to this
day. The goatse picture consists of a man stretching his anus apart
to the size of a small frying pan. Due to the extent of the stretching
his rectum is clearly discernable. Other notable features in the goatse
image include the dangling penis and testicles and gold wedding ring
on his finger. In 2001 goatse became a notorious Internet meme, and
is still used regularly for bait-and-switch pranks between friends.
The original goatse site was taken down in 2004, but is mirrored all
over the internet today.

Who is Goatse?

After a great deal
of classic internet detective work, the Goatse man has been tracked
down as Kirk Johnson. Identification of Kirk was achieved through
careful examination of two key pieces of evidence - first his golden
ring and also the small mole situated just above his gaping asshole.
Kirk is a quiet man and a recluse despite his internet fame. A picture
of Kirk is below.

Interview with Goatse (Kirk Johnson)

Interviewer: When did you first realize that your ass could
be the source of pleasure?

While watching porno films I saw women getting dick in their ass
all the time and they seemed to like it a lot, so I thought I'd
give it a try.Interviewer:
What was it like the first time you stuck anything in your ass?

I was about twenty
at the time the first time I tried it. The first time -- actually
most of the first year -- I took no pleasure from it. But, I knew
that the porn stars seemed to enjoy it, so I stuck at it and grew
to love it as well.

Interviewer:
Why did you start putting larger objects in?

I saw gay films where
men who were taking whole arms up their ass were getting pleasure
from it. I learned to take pleasure from stretching my ass, and
the wider I opened it, the more pleasure I took.

Interviewer:
How quickly were you able to move up to bigger items? Do you have
a training regime?

It took me about two years to be able to take a wine bottle, and
four years to take a 32cm ball. Recently I've been able to take
a big ball, much bigger than the bottle. To pass that level I
had to first train my ass with bigger bottles, like 1.5L pop bottles.
There were a number of painful sessions with a lot of blood and
ass-hurt for about four days after each session.

Because I
am not comfortable writing in English, I will tell you my personal
method in French.

Interviewer:
Thanks, I'll do my best to translate it for the readers. (Note:
The following answer was translated by BME -- I apologize for
errors in the translation.)

When I first started,
I was using small bottles of shampoo. After that, I tried small
apples, and then bigger ones. At this point I'd put a year of
stretching in, and bought myself a large dildo.

My method
was to dilate my ass as often as I could -- every day, even if
just for a short while. Before starting it's important to use
a large dildo; use it to both warm up and clean your ass, so make
sure you stick it up all the way. When you find that you can take
this large dildo without any work-up or preparation, then you
know that you're ready to take it to the next step. Then, in each
session, to get your bottom prepared, put in a big cucumber. Soon
you'll arrive at a point where even the biggest cucumbers you
can buy at the grocery fit easily in your ass. Now you're ready
to get serious. Buy a small Coke bottle, and use that in your
ass. When that passes in and out easily, move on to bottles of
wine. Once you can take wine bottles easily, you can move on to
even bigger things.

If at this
point you're having trouble with the 1.5L Coke bottle (just try
not to force it out because the bottle is very hard), you can
also have slower stretching fun with candles. Try putting them
in one by one and seeing how many you can fit in -- at this time
I was putting in about fifteen at the same time. The candles are
great because they allow your anus to stretch very slowly. Once
the 1.5L Coke bottle can enter your ass, train every day or two
(use a large dildo first, then the bottle every session). Most
of the time I use Vaseline, but don't do what I do in this case.
I think that the best lubricants are the ones you can buy for
this in a sex shop.

When the 1.5L
bottle is passing easily, go out and buy plastic balls that start
at a diameter a little bigger than the bottle. Play with those,
and with time, and a little luck, you'll arrive at my level too.
(Don't feel bad if you're just beginning -- when I first started,
I could barely shove a finger in my ass).

What I'm going
to tell you now is very important if you plan on doing extreme
sessions and taking large gauge. Do not bandage your ass. Do not
tighten your buttocks. Try not to get an erecection -- you want
the blood to be in your ass lips, not in your cock. It's not easy,
but it's important that you think of nothing and empty your mind.
It's absolutely necessary that you concentrate on your breathing.
Don't think of the pain; know that it will pass. The real secret
though is to breath -- and remember, without the pain, it's IMPOSSIBLE
TO TAKE THE BIG ONES!

Interviewer:
What does it feel like? Is it sort of like getting fucked by a
really well hung guy?

I want to
make it very clear that I'm not gay -- I LOVE WOMEN!

Interviewer:
I'm sorry -- I imagine people must make this mistake all the time?

All the time,
yes. Frankly I'm getting fed up with it.

Interviewer:
But you didn't tell me you'd gotten the idea for the bigger play
from watching gay porn?

Yes, but the gay aspect
never aroused me -- just the ass part. The films only helped show
me that men enjoyed anal play as much as the women did.

I just want
to find a woman who wants to play fisting with me (to fist me,
or to let me fist her). I'm searching for one or two or more women
to join me in my play -- I want them to stretch my ass with four
hands at the same time while my body is supported. If there are
any French women reading this, please write me -- it's my dream
to do this performance.

Back to your
earlier question, playing with a very large object feels a lot
like having to take a shit very urgently. Even though you feel
like you need to shit, that's just your imagination, and you can
get extreme enjoyment with your ass so full.

Interviewer:
Do you like the way your ass looks when it's all purple and blown
out?

Not at all,
I prefer it when my ass accepts the stretching without any damage.

Interviewer:
Have you ever bled from the bigger objects?

Maybe eight or ten
times I've had blood, but it was mostly because I didn't use enough
lubricant.

Interviewer:
So... how big do you think you can go?

I'm looking for a bigger
ball right now. I want to push my stretching as far as my body
can physically support. I go slow though, because I never use
drugs or anesthetics of any kind; I prefer feeling all the pleasure
and the pain!

Interviewer:
What's the difference between pleasure and pain?

When I reach the limits
of stretching, the pleasure and pain merge into the same feeling
-- the pleasure this brings is amazing! Just two days ago I managed
to put in a ball 37cm around (that's almost 15"). The feeling
of pushing that out of my ass was indescribably pleasurable. Next
time I do that I'm going to be sure to video tape it -- I'm sure
I could probably even make money with that one!

Interviewer:
What are some of the objects you've stuck up your ass?

I've stuck up two big
cucumbers at the same time, 1.5L and 2L Coke bottles, balls of
all sizes, every size of wine bottle, lots of big butt plugs,
etc.

I had a lot
of trouble taking the 2L bottle because it doesn't fit in the
ass gently. I can take a bigger ball, but a big rubber ball deforms
to fit the shape of the ass -- it doesn't get smaller, but it's
an easier fit.

Interviewer:
After a session, how long does it take for your ass to go back
to normal?

Just five or six hours
usually.

Interviewer:
Does it hurt afterwards?

No, not at all, but
for the next few hours I can feel the ass's big lips.

Interviewer:
Are there permanent effects?

Yes -- my ass is bigger
than ever!!!

Interviewer:
Do you need to wear a diaper? Does everything still work?

I'm not a baby!!! Everything
is normal for me. All of the "anal destruction" I've
done was done by me with care, and my ass is as normal as yours
is... Although sometimes when I'm taking a crap it's huge because
I've now got the capacity to really stock up. My digestion is
trouble free though, and I've had no problems at all.

Interviewer:
What sorts of emails do you get from your fans?

Well, I don't know
that many people online, but mostly admiration, asking for advice,
and I've met a few other ass stretchers who've sent me pictures
of their stretching.

Interviewer:
If someone wants to starting putting bigger things up their ass,
how should they get started?

Take it slow.
Start with little toys, and take your time growing your ass.

Interviewer:
Have you told any of your friends or sex partners about your ass
play?