Woman Keeps Getting Naked at Ice Park

Usually when people wanna see some exposed skin, they satisfy their craving by heading to a nude beach to rudely leer from behind sunglasses, or they visit their favorite porn site, weepy and alone in their basement on Saturday night. (Both hypotheticals, of course.) A nude beach and the internet are two places where you’d be surprised if you didn’t run into a naked person.

It’s a safe bet that visitors to the Jordan Valley Ice Park in Springfield, MO were not expecting public nudity during a wholesome afternoon of family fun, though. Oh, to be a fly on the ice rink wall as Samantha J. Edwards was spotted on top of a maintenance building in the facility wearing only what God gave her.

According to the surveillance video, the show lasted about 30 minutes and included the 26-year-old exposing her genitals and throwing her bra down onto the trail below. Some killjoy who hates fun and happiness called the authorities on our open-air stripper and she was promptly removed from the scene and arrested. Police noted that this was not Edwards’ first naked rodeo — It was actually the second time shed been busted in her birthday suit on the same building.

Her bond recommendation for charges of sexual misconduct and property damage suggests bath salts were at play.

“Defendant was likely high on bath salts at the time and also ripped the covers off of two electrical boxes and removed two fire extinguishers from the building,” the document reads.

If true, this could put a more positive spin on the drug, which has been accused of triggering all sorts of zombie-themed atrocities since it came into the media spotlight a few months ago. Alright, yes, Edwards destroyed property, but a naked woman ripping off the covers of electrical boxes could actually be kinda hot- Haven’t you seen ‘Attack of the 50-foot Woman?’

We’re really going to have to see that surveillance tape before making a ruling.

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