I hear people my age saying when they head off on their quests to lose weight and get fit is that they want to look like they did when they were 25. Let’s get real here, it’s not going to happen, I am so sorry but Mother Nature has other ideas.

But here’s the thing, ask yourself a few questions:

1. If you hadn’t put on weight, would you look like you did when you were 25 anyway? Our bodies (men and women) change drastically over time, we hold fat in different areas, we are slaves to hormonal changes, having babies etc etc. We may have been able to convert fat into muscle easily in our 20s, we can’t necessarily do that into our 40s, it’s just biology! So the odds are that you would still look different today than at 25 even without the weight gain.

2. What is wrong with looking like a great 4o something! I love now being told I don’t look my age!

3. Are you trying to regain your 20 something levels of fitness? It takes a special kind of person who can achieve the same levels of fitness in their 40s as they did in their 20s if you haven’t done pretty regular exercise all the way through, be a bit kind to yourself and think about that. Start with small goals that are achievable and importantly safe. If you’ve been unfit for a long time, getting fit will take time and be a gradual process. Miracles cannot be performed!

If you start out with an unrealistic goal it will never happen, you’ll get de-motivated pretty quickly and achieve nothing.

Despite the fact that I now weigh about the same as I did when I was 25, my body is very, very different to how it was then, but hey I am fit, healthy and happy so it doesn’t matter.

I am not going to be able to tone up all the wobbly bits, 16 years of extreme weight gain stretches your skin, when you lose it you end up with toned areas under what is essentially loose, baggy skin, bit like having a second body layer, it doesn’t matter what you do it won’t change drastically without surgery. My legs will never look toned even if they are,I have a lot of loose skin on my tummy and my arms will always be bigger. If you’ve had children you may have the same problem and our old friend Mother Nature will decide how your body will react and how the collagen is your skin behaves. the younger you are the more success you may have in avoiding this. So there’s a little incentive to doing something sooner than later!

This has taken a degree of acceptance, the thing is that I can’t change it, therefore there is little point beating myself up over it. I can see that this consequence of losing a lot of weight can damage self-esteem almost as much as being big in the first place.It has been a long road to get here but I have accepted that this is the body I now have at 43.

This is why I have taken the focus away from losing weight and now towards being fit and healthy. Support underwear has come on considerably and can now hold in all my wobbly bits! After being fitted for the right underwear I actually lost a dress size, try it, it does work.

And if you do all this work to look great, then don’t do anything that is guaranteed to age you, at least give Mother Nature a helping hand and show your body a bit of respect.

1. Don’t smoke. If you get fit and healthy why jeopardise it with something that will kill you? There is plenty of help out there, if you have found the strength and focus to lose weight use the same to quit smoking.

2. Don’t sit in the sun and tan. Get a fake one and embrace the factor 50, the better your skin, the younger you will look and no cancer risk.

Be realistic about what you will look like when you’ve lost weight; you will though still look miles better than you did before though so always remember that!

In any case, I’m not planning to walk the streets naked so most of the time it’s all covered up and when I’m in the pool, well I leave a lot of younger people with completely toned bodies standing so I’m not worried, I’d rather be fit and healthy!

And do I feel younger? Hell yes! I must do I’ve just posted a photo of me in a spotty swimsuit!

This photo was taken in August 2010, it was exactly a year to the day since I’d started to shrink, I’d lost 5 stone and to celebrate I went for a dip in a rather chilly Solent with my best friend, she’s been an absolute rock through the whole experience and now we’re a similar size even lets me wear her clothes!