Welcome to the BlackLOG, this is the story of me, my wife - the long suffering "Mrs B", our cat "McG" and the various friends and acquaintances that we meet through life. It is all based around what happens to us, but is often stretched in an attempt to entertain. I do not deliberately set out to upset people but it occasionally happens (I have a fairly dark sense of humour at times).

Pages

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Being in the Top 5%.....

I have to interrupt the flow of the Vancouver Ski BlackLOG with the following breaking Story, courtesy of my Big Sis. While I was not directly involved in the described incident I feel that I have enough emotional ties to include it as a genuine BlackLOG topic.

As compensation for having to wait for a further Ski Blog I have included a delightful picture of Mrs B.

The scene is my sister's living room in Windsor. My sis, mother, nephew Alex and my sis's friend Lisa are sharing a Chinese meal.(aside 1). Alex happenned to mention (as 11 year olds do) something about seeing a girl aged 3 on TV who had an IQ of 140 and how the girl was really good at maths. Lisa said she would be interested to know what her own IQ was as she had not done well at school. My sis told her "Intelligence does not equate to exam results" and cited her dear brother (that would be me), and said that (- Now sit up and pay attention everyone) "My brother is actually more intelligent than me but did not do particularly well at school". (aside 2)

My mother is obviously sitting there taking this all in. About half an hour later she pipes up:

"Nikki's brother is in the top 5% you know"

Lisa "5% of what?"

Mother "of whatever "

They all fell about laughing and quizzed my mother as to what she meant but she was getting huffy and very protective of her son!!

My sister followed it up the following morning and pushed our Mother for further details

Big Sis - "What exactly is it that Niel is in the top 5% of?"

Mum - "I didn't ask"

BS - "well who told you he was in the top 5% ?"

Mum - "someone did"

This kind of leaves a very large question. Exactly what I am in the Top 5% of? My initial guess was that I'm in the Top 5% of people who don't know what they are in the the Top 5% of - but that does not work because I would then know what I was in the top 5% of and thus get disqualified. Feel free to speculate and let me know what you think that I might be in the top 5% of....

This reminds me of another incident involving my mother. It was just after my Sis's Wedding and a good family friend "Uncle Bob", who not only hosted my Sister's first wedding but my Parent's wedding as well, back in the 60's. My mother was sitting in a car jabbering on as usual. Bob had a wonderful deep Texan drawl and he lent in through the window and said "Don't forget to Belt up, Ann" My mother didn't miss a word as she chatted on while she reached behind her for her seat belt. The tears were rolling down my cheeks as I staggered around the corner and crumpled to the floor. Maybe you had to be there but it's a memory that will stay with me forever.

--------------------The end of another BlackLOG-------------------

(1)The bit about the Chinese food is not particularly important and has only been included to add a bit of background colour. When however the BlackLOG makes it to Hollywood it is the sort of detail that is very helpful to the production team and set dressers.

While not a picture of Chinese food (it happens to be Thai for those who like the full facts) and the more observant of you may also note that it is not a Living room. I Feel that it is close enough....."

(2)My Sister then told me "You cannot quote me on that - I was simply being kind to Lisa ;-)" Who is she kidding? That statement is going to follow her to the grave. I might even actually have to have it carved on her tombstone. Now that's an incentive for her to out live me....

Bit of a faux pas from Big siss,it might even possibly turn out to be a grave error