Simple Answers to Complex Legal Questions

Knock knock …. who’s there … bar results!

Tomorrow is the dreaded day, here in California, when bar results come out. Reader three elle asked what recommendations we had to avoid insanity tomorrow, forced to watch the minutes tick away until the results go live. She said she thought a lot of alcohol would be necessary. She thinks correct.

When I was in that position several years back, all my fellow first years at my firm went out for a liquid lunch, and drank straight through until about 4. Then a friend and I came back to my place, and we continued the drinking until 6. Perfect way to be ready to check results. And then my internet was fucked and I couldn’t get the results.

A friend calls from DC to ask if I passed, and I tell her I can’t get onto the website. She could, so she looked up my results and told me I passed. Then she looked up my friend’s results. But my friend didn’t want to be on the phone, which made this ten time more nerve wracking than finding out if I passed, because if my friend failed, I was going to have to be the one to tell her. Fuck.

Thankfully, she also passed. Drinking promptly recommenced, we almost ordered Southwest tickets to Vegas (decided we were probably too drunk to get on the plane, which we almost certainly were were), and later that night we almost got thrown out of the bar when my friend started having words with the manager.

But all was well, and I woke up the next morning to find that I had shredded three of my BarBri books and left them in a pile in the middle of my living room.

And that, three elle, is how you deal with tomorrow. Good luck to all our Cali law clerks!