Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Rogain Farts

the toxic fumes shooting out of my ass could make a bald man regrow his hair

i was sitting on the couch and let one rip. the dog whipped his head around to look at me, narrowed his eyes and all but said, "that is dis-guuuuuuust-ing!" he hopped off the couch, gave one last condescending look and sought refuge in the backyard.

it's gotten to the point where i am now running to the bathroom, letting it fly and coming back to my bedroom in order to escape the smell.

at times like this i am really glad i am single. if i had to hold this in so as not to offend a significant other, i fear my lower intestine would explode like an overinflated tire.