M.O.M.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

NO MORE RICE!!!

An 8-minute phone call to the husband yields disaster… on an
already disastrous day.

The phone call was about a friend of his who was killed by a
police officer just this morning.This
was shocking to say the least.My
husband knew this man through his job, he always seemed level headed to him and
having once been a police officer he would be fully aware of police protocol…
but who knows what a person will do in the heat of the moment.:(

While talking I hear the kids playing in the next room.The oldest is in there so I’m not
worried.I had made snacks for them and
a movie was going.I figured I could
take the time to call instead of text.I
was glad I did, he really needed to talk.But as we’re speaking I hear something hit the ground and the oldest
came running in to tell me, I just held up my hand.I needed to listen to my husband, whatever
crises could wait a few minutes.

So I hang up, step around the corner and find the kids have
thrown their bowls of rice all over the dining and living room floor.A thousand tiny, wet pieces of grain… some on
top of the TV console, others on the piano, couches and a thousand more on the
floor.Some flattened by little feet,
others by toy cars.I find Blondie
standing their stark naked because in her excitement she spilled her
water.Little man is soaking wet as
well, but because in his excitement he forgot to use the bathroom.

Just as this is all filtering through my head and my plan of
action is forming I get a text, a second later the phone rings (two different
people) and then someone knocks on the front door.I was right next to the front door but had to
go back to the kitchen to get the keys.In my haste I slip on the wet rice.I wish I could say I started to laugh but truth is I was trying to think
of the worst cuss word I knew… but I mentally cuss every day now… I’ve run out
of the good ones.

As I open the door I find my friend on the other side with a
sack full of food; fish for dinner and snacks for the kids.Blondie runs up to her naked and hugs her
leg.My friend doesn’t even flinch.“Hey sweetie, I’ve missed you.Where are your clothes?”Blondie chatters and runs off.I back up so she can see the rice in all its
glory, the discarded clothing, the tossed toys.The bean bags and couches with their bits of rice.As I start to say something she just says,
“Breathe”.

Batgirl was no match for Wet Rice.

And so I did.I’m not
even sure if I thanked her for the food.She left with a smile and I locked the door, turned to the mess again
and tried to decide what to do next.First thing, everyone had to go outside.The oldest was already.I guess
she didn’t want to be put in charge of cleaning since she witnessed it
all.But she got lucky… my phone alarm
went off; it was time for Tae Kwon Do.So I hurried and dressed the kids, and headed to the dojo.

We’re back now, laundry is going… again.Kids are naked… again.Rice is still on the floor.It’s been over an hour.I’m guessing it’s dry enough to sweep
up.But I just want to cry.Its’ not like I haven’t faced worse; heaven
knows this is nothing compared to Sharpie on table tops and vinyl trees torn
from walls.But depression doesn’t
care.Depression doesn’t have some
scale.There is no measuring stick or
level we must hit before it starts.

You can factor in stress, but really, depression is a
monster hiding in the closet.My job is
to keep pushing the beast back in.Today
he popped his head out.I let him look
around a bit, but then he pissed me off.It’s Christmas.I’ve dreamed of
the day my kids would run in to my room Christmas morning and tell me Santa
came.I’m not letting him take that
away.

Proverbs
12:25 (NIV) 25 Anxiety weighs down the heart,
but a kind word cheers it up.

Also… I just got a Tweet from someone I’ve never met asking
how I’m doing.She was worried because
of my Facebook updates today.I actually
cried when I read it… tears of joy though.Thank you friend, God is good.

12 comments:

Oh dear. I just don't even know where to start! First, I am so sorry about your husband's friend. :( That must be causing a lot of confusion and sadness. You just had everything kind of pile on all at once there with no time to stop. It's perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed. Now mix those two together, overwhelmed and sad, and it's no surprise you're feeling depressed. Try to do whatever it is that helps you relax, especially once the kids are all fed and in bed. Take a hot bath or meditate or work on a project or read ... something that helps you chill. Focus on some positives and hopefully tomorrow will be a much better day! (((hugs)))

Tomorrow will be better. You are going to wake up tomorrow and own it. I can feel it. I'm running out of embarrassing moments that I am willing to share. I will send ya my world domination vibes- tomorrow YOU win :)

I'm so sorry - about everything, and the fact that it all happened at once. Your friend who brought the food knows that you were grateful. And the sun is going to rise tomorrow and the day has a chance to prove itself better. *hugs*