HOU$E of LIE$! (big fan)..

As a mix of exec and geek, I’m exposed to all sorts of jargon. I’ve had close friends next to me at times and soon after a tech conversation ends, I’ll hear a comment like “man, that’s a complete second language – I didn’t understand a word of what you were talking about”. The same could be said when I was consulting and I recently started tracking some of the more funny phrases. Here’s a list of terms that have been heard in day to day corporate conversation:

“We should change the flavor of the tone and tenor.”

“What does the crawl, walk, run process look like?”

“tl;dr? More like dc;wr! (doesn’t care, won’t read).”

“Silence will be interpreted as violent agreement.”

“How do we unpack the problem?”

“We ping-ponged on that topic a bit yesterday.”

“ragequit!”

“Who will draw the swim lane for this?”

“Rinse, Repeat, Re-market..”

“We’ll be belly rubbing with select customers only.”

“You’ve moved the cheese a little further away..”

“We’ve severely rat holed on this..”

“We’re not considering persona based product portals..”

“You’re 100% correct, just not right..”

“They tend to chase unicorns and end up with a dead donkey with a spike shoved in the wrong end.”