Imagine if your bra only opened up for the right man. Would this help you to fend off the masses of mammary-hunting men? Or put your love-life in the hands of a cold-hearted microchip? We’re about to find out.

A little-known French sports doctor who spent 16 years studying the busts of about 300 women sent a scare through a country known for its love of lingerie this week when he suggested bras were useless.