Social Distancing Elmo Is So Cute That I Wanna DIE

Elmo is coming to save the day like that red-haired furry fuck always does. My kids are out of the Elmo stage but you bet your ass I'll be tuning in to see the whole squad from Sesame Street log on to zoom in order to talk to their pals. You know Grover's ass is gonna struggle getting it off mute. Cookie Monster is gonna be chompin down on cookies right in the mic like he's got no damn home training.

Can the Count even count how high we've been locked down on quarantine? I doubt that silly bitch can get past 13. If he does, I'll formally apologize.