Putin demands recount after only 67% of his fraudulently cast votes counted

Victorious Russian President Vladimir Putin has demanded a recount of all votes cast in the country's election after it emerged that only 67% of the fraudulent votes he cast were counted.

The president, now into his third term, was alerted to the discrepancy when initial results suggested only two-thirds of the votes were in his favour, rather than the 100% clean sweep he and his United Russia party were anticipating.

A Kremlin spokesman, Ratnyk Vercha, confirmed the president was eager to seek answers as to the sources of the unexpected anomaly.

He told reporters following the announcement of the polling figures, 'This is a rotten day for the Russian people.'

'Not just because it returns their current leader to a power he so lovingly abuses, but because it is a day when the rampant corruption of Russian politicians required to ensure this victory was confirmed as having been met with a similar brand of rampant corruption by those people counting the maliciously cast votes.'

'President Putin will seek an immediate recount to re-align the figures to reflect the full dominance of his vote printing capabilities.'

Election monitors with the Organisation for Security and Co-operation (OSCE) believe the discrepancy indicates an ever growing feeling of ill-will towards Putin.

'Never has someone so unpopular so comprehensively won what essentially amounts to a popularity contest.'

'At least not since Nick Clegg was voted leader of Lib-Dems.'

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