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Sunday, March 11, 2012

I was reading the Crime Library dot com the other day and came across a story that both thrilled and chilled my blood. The perpetrators were not your typical serial killers but the crimes they were starting to commit were well on the way to being sexual sadists killers. It is instead a tale of extreme survival, since you may not want to look it up at the web site and read it I will some info so that if you choose to read it you can either buy the girl’s book or go to the site for the abbreviated version.
I Have Life, by Alison Botha can or
be ordered here
http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/criminal_mind/sexual_assault/alison_ripper_rapist/1.html

In case this doesn’t come through properly I will give you these alternatives: I Have Life, by Alison Botha, is the book and the story is Ripper Rapists on the crime Library. You can goggle the topics and find either one easily. If you do read it, then we can discuss it better.

I have felt conflicted about how I feel regarding the nature of life…it is so complex that it sometimes boggles the mind…trying to decide what the truth really is. Pondering the differences between fate and destiny…environmental influences and inherited traits…the real history and the victor’s version of history…capitalist versus a socialist versus democratic …etc…there is just so much to think about not including such things as religious versus evolutionist creation nor the evil bedfellow of political debate between friends. Or how about the universe can we be truly Gods only creatures or is there life on other planets by other gods..

I have researched the lives of some of the famous rock and movie stars and it appears that they would have been successful people in whatever career they choose to follow, some especially just seem to have all the right needs and associates in their life’s to spring up into instant stardom. While other people seem to be born behind the eight-ball doomed to failure or a short life ending in a tragic death.

How much do you know about the Manson family, I recently downloaded a documentary called ‘The Six Degrees of Helter Skelter , 2009’, it is slightly more informative then some of the movies about what happened mostly because it is not a product of Hollywood propaganda or hype. I was actually living close to and in Hollywood during those times and even though I wasn’t really following the news; I saw some of the girls both with and without their hair, in and around the area. Years later I recalled a few tidbits like walking around Sunset and Vine to the Sunset Strip and seeing this little square papers plastered all over the place, saying stuff like ‘Sex Sadie is a Liar’, ‘Helter Skelter is Coming’ and many more that I can’t quite visualize at the moment. Then it didn’t really register to me what it was about, I was 18 and on the prowl with stuff I felt was more important in my life going on. If I went back in time with my current knowledge what would have seen that then I casually strolled by? If things were different or I was a different person or gender could I have somehow been sucked into that strange Manson universe, could I have been so drugged out that I would have let myself be so used by the like of him?

Most movies, books are not scary to me in themselves but some little thoughts got stuck in my head like the scene in one of the Ted Bundy movies that showed one girl handcuffed to a pipe in a small shed coming to, and as she clearing those cobwebs away then; trying to figure out how and why she was in that predicament has to endure him dragging another semiconscious girl into the room. At first she doesn’t realize who the monster is who has them both captive, even as he savagely rapes the other girl, she just whimpers, hoping to be let go after he is done abusing them. But as she watches him bash in the brains of his current victim, her real terror begins. If she would have had the tools or capability I think she would have removed her arm in the attempt to free herself; like many animals caught in traps have done. I realize it takes longer to describe something scary happening then the actual event itself unfolding.

But from some of my experiences I know that time seems to go into slow motion during traumatic events. I can distinctly remember the last and worst fall or disaster I had a coup0le of years ago and it became so imprinted on my subconscious that it gave me intense nightmares for a long time. It had to have taken mere second to happen but it felt like hours. I was climbing a 20 foot ladder when time stopped.., and my heart skipped a beat…as the base slid backwards ever so slightly…I was very close to the top …so close in fact that I could almost grab the edge of the roof with my right hand…,instinctively I froze, while debating my next action…after a slight shift of my weight with a mind to dash for the safety of that roof…it moved again this taking the object of my desire farther away…glancing at the ground was the wrong thing to do but I couldn’t help myself from taking a peek…more sliding, this time a little sideways…when next my eyes returned to the roof parapet the ladder was barely clinging to its edge…I was now like a deer caught in headlights frozen in time unable to move forward a back for fear of the what was happening…even as the backward and slightly sideward motion of the ladder stated again this time with seeming acceleration as if time was starting to catch up to me. I couldn’t close my eyes nor could I look away as while the ladder started sliding ever so slowly down the wall. When it neared the three quarters of the wall’s height the speed increased exponentially, at the same time my heart beat had increased like it was racing the ladder to be the first to the bottom.

During this whole time it was like I was watching something happening to another…it seemed so unreal up until the final seconds when my face impacted a rung of the ladder, mangling my glasses before the flew off my face. For those few moments I was that girl chained to the pipe, until a mind numbing pain roused me back into the time stream. On rolling off the ladder and forcing myself to a sitting position, then getting to my feet in a effort to distance myself from that terrible place, I felt another excruciating pain in my right ankle and something running down my face…I tried to gain my sea legs anyway fighting a wave of nausea and dizziness…before feeling something wasn’t right with my left arm which I had raised toward my face in effort to discover why my face was wet and what was dripping from it…on look forced me into the realization that it would be better to sit back down…my wrist and forearm were at an unnatural angle from each other…it dawned on me that it must be broken and if I wasn’t careful it would break through the stretched skin holding it back. It pain in my ankle and face seemed to lesson watching my arm swell… I had made a connection to the pulsating waves of pain from origin and inside I wanted to scream for help…
Instead I looked around puzzled by the guy on the roof yelling down at me and the coast guard guys running toward me…I remembered where I was… the 9th street coast guard station…I had brought the guy on the roof to measure the HVAC unit and he had put the ladder up….looking at it I figured what had caused it to move like it did…it was only half of a 40 foot ladder the top half and it had been placed upside down with the rounded top to the blacktop…no wonder it had been so unstable. It is strange how the mind can detach itself from trauma, and the actions of my rescuers seemed remote like my vision was obscured by a thin layer of gauze…time changed direction seeming to speed…reality twisted like Into a weird dream I didn’t want to wake from…the clouds thinned some as I was wheeled into a room of blinding light then transferred onto a stainless steel table like a slab of meat ready to be butchered…an endless sea of faces appeared over mine like a swarm of bees looking for pollen… each asking questions, the looks I returned may have gave the impression I didn’t understand them, but that wasn’t it…I was trying to talk but could not…I felt like a mute, unable to command my vocal cords into action…at last my struggle succeeded in my uttering enough for them to satisfy their more pertinent questions…these busing bees rapidly completed their tasks.

Eventually figured out I was stable enough to self in a corridor at the x-ray department for further study…still strapped on a backboard with my neck in the vice grips of the neck brace. Fortunately an attendant was left that tilted me enough to vomit up the blood flowing from my shattered face down my throat into my stomach was not only making it harder for me to breath it was creating extreme nausea. In the end it wasn’t as bad as it could have been I ended…although I suffered for several broken bones. My large toe on the right foot, my right ankle, my left radial bone being almost a compound fracture of the radial bone; my nose was cornflakes, (it had been broken before in 7 places), my cheekbones were all broken loose from my skull allowing them to free float and my upper jaw was broken in the area under my nose. Everything else was just bruises and contusions besides the gash across the bridge of my nose where all the blood was coming from. I learned all this from the plastic surgeon as he gave me the good news he was going to set my arm, but not to worry he was going to give me the good stuff usually reserved for the stars. Dilaudid or Hydromorphone is a schedule 2 drug and very potent, about 6 to 8 times stronger than morphine with less dependency issues. At any rate after put some of it in my IV; all my pain vanished; I was high as a kite fluttering on a warm summer wind. I am glad It is not something I could easily acquire on my own and that they didn’t give me more to take home. The side effects were nil and the feeling it gave to good to repeat without necessity.

Friday, December 16, 2011

In the last few months,I have had to undergo a barage of medical exams, just part of the process of aging, but it can be intimidating at times. I wear my attends pullups to these appointments without a thought, wearing diapers or pullups is so natural to me now that I never think about the fact that is something most people would find unappealing. I have worn 24/7 since 1996 and have hardly ever been embarressed about doing so.

Last month I had to have a procedure in the uroglogy department for a cytoscope exam of my bladder. I was a bit shocked at how this exam had changed in modern times. When I entered the exam room, there was a male and a female nurse there preping the exam chair. It looked more like a barber chair to me. I was directed to sit in a plastic chair behind the open door and strip the clothes off the lower half of my body, while they had their backs to me working I was a bit self-concious. I peeled my shoes and socks off, then my pants and pullups. Leaving everything in the chair, i mounted the throne and waited while the finished their duties. The doctor came in and did his job. Fifteen minutes later I was alone in he room with the female nurse, who calmly watched me put my pullups back on, before she left me to finish dressing.

Yes, it was a bit of a turn-on, and I got an erection. But it wasn't the same as it could have been if she was a willing particpant.

I was scheduled for another appoinment, because they were concerned my bladder isn't funtioning right, after giving me instructions to try and force more urine out of it until they seen me again.

This past monday was the follow-up appoinment. I seen a different doctor this time, who was female. She told me to empty as much of my bladder as possible and then bade me lay on an exam table, undo my belt, unsnap my jeans and relax. Which I did without so much as a thought. As she was askingme questions, she laid a towel over my crotch, then she pulled the waist of my pullups out and let them snap back into place before tucking the edge of the towel in the waistband of them. She caught me off guard saying, 'Oh you're wearing those.'

I didn't say anything so she asked me, how many I go through a day. Three I answered. Then she replied in an off hand way, having trouble making it to the tiolet in time. And without a pause, I replied yes.

She completed an ultrasound of my bladder and told me to button up and that I would have to come back in a couple of weeks for bladder stress tests. I have no idea what this entails yet, and I am not so sure I want to know.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

________________________________________
Last week I was playing a free MMORPG, and one of the real girls in my guild make a new character. When I seen the name, I felt my heart skip a beat and my pulse rise. I thought I was seeing things; it couldn't be possible it must be a coincidence. I was tempted to ask this girl what the name meant to her to see if I was right or just grasping at straws. Because I have never seen a toon name like DPRGirl in any of the other games I have played in the last 12 years.

I put it to the back of my mind for several days, till I could literally not stand it anymore. I was keenly aware that if I asked her the question straight out, even in a PM, that I would more than likely lose a good friend who I hung out with allot. We seemed to click right away and she is loads of fun to hang out with. I finally got an opportunity when we were in a group fight against the bad guys. During a lull in the battle I casually pmed her and asked what the name meant.

She came right back with what do you think it means. I quickly got cold feet, if I would have been in an oral conversation with her, I am sure I would have stammered. I backpedaled and told her, I wouldn't want to offend her. She came back, try me, you never know, you could be right. Now I was excited, but overwhelmed, should I or Not? I told her what I was thinking of was somewhat obscure. She replied, just say it!

So I said, DiaperGirl. There came a long pause in our discourse which left me waiting in anticipation, yet dreading the reply. It was down to the wire, the moment of truth, would I lose a friend or straighten it in a more fulfilling way.

I was amazed when the answer finally came, and I felt the reason for the long delay in her response was because she would be revealing something very private about herself to a relative stranger. I am sure you have guessed by now, that the answer was yes you are right. I am a DiaperGirl, I wear diapers because I like the way they feel on me. She commented, that no one else had ever made the connection and that she had used the nickname in several other games. And asked me to keep it to myself, as the only other person who knew, was her friend and our guild mate.

I was awed by this and adrenaline coursed rapidly though my veins, as I stared at her words. Wow, I was right! With bated breath, I quickly debated what to say next, as I typed that her secret was safe with me. My spelling became erratic as my fingers urged me to keep the dialogue going as long as possible. By this time we were back to fighting. I was having trouble talking, and keeping my mind on what was expected of me, as far as playing the role playing game. I told the reason for me guessing was because I was a DiaperBoy. There was another lull, before her response of really? And I shot back yes; I have been in the diaper scene for many years. She seemed truly happy to hear this and our talk expanded on our mutual interest.

I was completely relaxed and feeling in control of my emotions by the time we ended our dungeon party and we could chat in a more relaxed way. I told how to find my blog, which I figured would be the easiest way to prove my confession to her. She looked it up straight away and I sensed her relax a bit more, as we continued our banter.

I now know that our guild mate is also her boyfriend which I suspected all along. The object was not in me finding a sex partner, but in finding another friend, who I could be myself with and at the same time, enjoy role playing games with. Hopefully this is the start of long friendship, but in the least it shows me to trust my instincts more.
__________________
Johnny Lee

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The previous story was origionally written by me in the mid eighties and published through Amber E. I wrote out long hand and transcribed it to a royal manual typewriter. The editing, typing errors, etc..., are unchanged from the origional.

I had a summer class in high school on typing in 1965, but I hadn't improved until the mid 90's on the computer keyboard.

To whom it may concern: The subject matter of Amber E. is printed for those

Adults who enjoy the fantasy of playing at being a baby. Stories are written

by the readers and are pure fantasies. NO real babies or children will ever

be subjects of Amber E. publications.

Amber E. Box 36O-723 Milpitas, California 95O35

The story you are about to read is true to the best of my recollection.

I am a real adult baby girl. I am 37 years old white with dark brown hair and eyes. I stand 5' 8", and weigh about I47lb. Mymeasurements are 37-3O-34 and I wear a 'B' cup bra. In case you're interested I am currently single with no children.

I know that you're probably wondering what I'm into, so I'll tell you in confidence for your enjoyment. I love wearing all kinds of plastic panties and of course diapers, thick or thin, cloth or disposable with my favourite being thick flannel or cotton diapers and plastic panties. I like mild spankings, enemas, peeing and sometimes pooping in my diapers. I also like wearing slinky and silky underthings such as garter belts and hose and sometimes doing my business in them. I wear dresses mostly so I can show my babyself off to strangers. I love masturbating myself and others. I also enjoy playing mommy/baby games, having sex with other girl or boy babies. I also like to correspond with other babies and exchanging pictures and baby things.

Now you allknow about me so let me hear about you, your life and loves. Whether you're interested in just corresponding or in something more I'm having my own photographs done so if you send me a baby picture I'll send you one.

I'm trying to build my own collection of adult baby stuff but I need more sources. Any that you may know of I'd be deeply in your debt if you shared them with me.

I thank you for listening to my long-winded speech. Please let me know whether or not you enjoyed my true story. I stopped at age sixteen but my second book tells the rest of my life.

Yours truly in wet diapers,

Donna Ann Thacker

RLY YEARS

I was born Donna Ann, on December 29, 195O in Tacoma, Washington. I don't remember my father at all or my mother before age four. My father was in the Korean War, only coming home long enough to give his fifteen-year-old bride, another daughter, Vicky Lynn, before leaving for good. I remember my grandmother though. Especially for rescuing me and Vicky from Juvenile Hall, when I was four.

You're wondering why a four and a three-year-old were sent to such a place so I'll share what I recall of the adventure.

Vicky and I were sitting on the stairs intensely watching a bunch of adults whoop it up at a wild party. With a loud bang on the door the police raided the house. They took my mother and her friends, off to jail and us kids ended up in Juvenile Hall.

I woke up the next morning, in this strange place. I looked around trying to figure out, where I was. After spotting Vicky in the bed next to mine I was able to relax a little. It was the biggest room I had ever seen. Bunk beds lined both walls, at one end of the room with a large open area at the other end. Most of the beds were full of boys and girls asleep.

I was about to get up, when a stern looking lady, who was walking down the centre aisle with three other women, motioned me to lie back down. Reaching the end of the room they started to wake the children, two worked on the top beds while the other two worked on the bottom ones. The beds were made as each child got up. We were ordered to join one of the two groups forming at the other end of the room. We weren't being separated into boy, girl groups nor age groups, which made me wonder what was going on.

I had become very uncomfortable lying in my soaking wet bed. It was my turn to get up and the lady didn't seem at all pleased to find that my bed was wet.

"Okay, you little pee-pot, I want you in line with that group over there," she said as she stripped my bed.

I joined the group that she pointed out to me but for some reason my sister was in the other group which was much larger than mine. After we were all lined up my group was led to a large bathroom.

"I want all of you little pee-pots out of your nightclothes right now," said the lady that got me out of bed, "I'll take care of this pee-pot first," she said taking hold of my arm.

As I was being showered I was surprised to see that all the kids except a five-year-old boy and I were wearing diapers and plastic panties. . I felt sorry for them because they should have been out of baby diapers along time ago. As I was drying myself off I saw the lady pull off apairs of plastic panties from asix-year-old girl. Before unpinning her wet diaper the lady gave the girl a sharp smack on the rear.

"If you can spare the time, little girl, come in here so I can get you dressed" said the second lady from a doorway from a second room; Realising that she was talking to me I hurried in.

Indicating a folded cloth diaper lying on a low wooden table she said, "Come over her and lie down on this diaper."

I was stunned but did as I was told not thinking that she was going to put it on me. Lifting my legs and spreading them wide apart she pulled the thick soft diaper tightly between my legs.

"I don't wear diapers anymore and I don't want to wear them now," I said as she pinned them snugly on me.

"You wet the bed didn't you?"

"I guess so... but it was that way when I woke up." I stammered.

"If you didn't who did? You're just a baby and you wet your bed now you have to wear diapers but you better not wet in them if you know what's good for you." she said.

When she pulled a pair of pink plastic panties up my legs and over the thick diapers I started to cry.

"Hush up and sit up," she commanded. I sat up but couldn't stop crying as she continued my outfit with pink tee shirt, pink socks and a brown pair of shoes.

"Go in there and sit with the others until the rest of the babies are ready" she said with a slap on my rear. Sadly I did.

By the time all the other kids were dressed in the same style (boys in blue, girls in pink) I had calmed down until we were in the main room. The other children including Vicky were fully dressed in regular clothes without diapers and plastic panties. They all started laughing at us, being urged on by the matrons.

Gradually the day wore on and I pretty much forgot about what I was forced to wear.

After lunch we took a nap. Diapers were put on some of the other kids for naptime. When we woke up several of us were wet and we were whipped during our diaper change then sent outside to play.

I got so busy playing that I wet my diapers and didn't tell anyone. A matron finally caught on to me and I received another spanking during my diaper change and then made to stand in the corner for half-an-hour. I was so angry I wet my diapers while I was standing in the corner. The matron spanked me again and put me back in the corner for an hour with the further punishment of having to keep on the wet diaper the whole time.

After supper my sister, Amy, and I were taken to a new place. The new place was the toddler's ward.

"Donna and Amy, you two new babies come over here. I want a closer look at you," shouted our new matron.

Slowly we walked over to where she was sitting, we were very unsure of ourselves.

"Since neither one of you are grown up enough to be trusted not to wet yourselves your both to be treated the way you act. You will do all your peeing and pooping in your baby diapers and plastic panties just like all the other babies on this ward do. You'll be treated the same as them. You'll wear a baby bib and sit in a high chair when you eat. You will drink everything out of a baby bottle and sleep in a baby crib during naptime and at night. Do you both understand me?" she asked staring us both in the eyes. I could feel my face turning red the more she talked.

I had a hard time accepting this cruel punishment, but after a few days I got along all right at least there wasn't any teasing from the toddlers.

My Grandmother finally took us home to live with her until mother got remarried to a soldier named Harold. One year later, we moved to Downey California.

For some unknown reason that memory of our two-week stay Juvenile Hall stuck firmly in my mind while most others slipped by the wayside.

I was six years old and in the first grade when baby diapers and plastic panties appeared like a plague in my life again. I'd started wetting the bed on a regular basis almost every night. Mommy was understanding at first but soon she began to shame me in front of my little sister who never wet the bed.

One night I had just finished washing the supper dishes when the axe fell.

"Donna, honey, come here as soon as you get done. Mommy has a big surprise for you," my mother yelled from the other room.

"Okay Mom, I'll be there in just a minute," I realised from the tone of her voice something was up.

"Come over here so mommy can show what she bought for you," she said indicating the shopping bag on her lap.

"What is it Mom? Let me see." I said thinking maybe I'd been wrong. I was flabbergasted when she pulled out three packages each containing a dozen cotton baby diapers. A package of eight pink diaper pins and four pairs of large pink plastic panties.

"What are those for? I don't need anything like that Mommy!" I said trying to hold back the tears I felt forming in my eyes.

"Oh but I think you do and yes they are for you so take off your dress and panties and mommy will put a diaper on her baby." she said with a sly smile on her face.

While I undressed she opened one of the packs of diapers taking out three of them and laid them on the floor and folded them into a thick diaper. I couldn't believe she was doing this to me and right in the living room in front of Vicky and Harold.

"Lay down now! Mommy will pin the diaper on you." She prompted me.

"Please don't Mommy! Why are you doing this to me? Please I'll be good from now on!" I pleaded. The tears flowing I put my hand up covering my face as she pinned the diaper securely on me.

"I'm going to put these baby diapers and plastic panties on you every night and at naptime until you learn to be a big girl like your little sister Vicky and not pee in your bed," she said this with a laugh. "Maybe wearing diapers will help you to remember."

Vicky had been giggling the whole time and I so wanted to smack it out of her.

Pulling a pair of the plastic baby panties over the diapers, mom asked, "What would your friends think if they could see you now?" I didn't answer so she slapped me-full in the face saying, "You look just like the little baby that you are. I ought to give you a baby bottle to take to bed."

The worst of it was she wouldn't let me wear my nightie to cover my shame. I cried myself to sleep that night and the next. After that I tried pretending to myself that I was a normal little girl and that nothing had changed even though it had.

Things went on fairly well for awhile but a couple of weeks later during the morning flag salute the demon diahaerra struck me down. I squeezed my legs tight together to stop the poopee from coming out but the dam burst just as I was getting my teacher's permission to be excused. Filling my panties to the brim. The teacher was close enough to catch a whiff of the stinky mess sloshing around in my pink ruffled panties.

"Hi little girl, what can I do for you? Are you feeling bad? It's alright come on in and I'll fix you right up," said the nurse with a big smile.

I just stood there feeling the poopee down inside my pink tights. I was so embarrassed I couldn't get the words to come out of my mouth. It was all I could do to keep from bawling as more poopee erupted into my already overflowing panties. Tears began to flow down my face as the poopee moved faster down my legs and the smell became more noticeable. She was looking at me for a minute until the odour reached her nostrils. Grimacing she took me by the hand leading me into her bathroom. Bending over she put her arms around me and said, "Don't be so upset anyone can have an accident," then she dried my tears off.

She carefully peeled off my soiled underclothes put them in a pail then washed and dried my pussy, legs and butt. I waited, slightly shivering while she went into a walk in closet. She brought out panties, stockings, and a pair of yellow plastic covered training panties with her (the kind toddlers wear when being potty trained).

"Please don't make me wear those baby panties!" I begged her.

"I think it would be best if you do just in case you have another accident. You wouldn't want to soil your panties again would you?" she asked as she slipped them on me.

"No... but I still don't… want them!" I stuttered.

"Nobody will see them, that's why I'm putting these other panties on you," she replied pulling the regular panties over the baby panties.

After giving me a spoonful of Philip's Milk of Magnesia she made me sit on the toilet for fifteen minutes.

Returning to the classroom, I felt as if everyone knew what I was wearing but of course not even the teacher knew. I stopped by the nurse's office on my way home and picked up my clothes and tried to return the baby panties instead she gave me a note for mommy.

Mother laughed after reading the note and said, "It serves you right. Show mommy what her baby has on." I raised my dress for her. "Take off those little girls panties, Mommy wants to see your baby panties," she said with a grin. I took them off raising my dress again.

"Well you look so cute in them you can keep them on and maybe next time you'll be able to poop in the toilet," she said with that cruel smile on her face.

When Daddy came home from work Mommy took Vicky and I shopping at Sears. When we got to the children's department mommy pulled up my dress showing the children's wear saleslady my baby panties. The lady got a funny look on her face but said "She looks a little too old to me to be wearing baby panties but I think we have some that may fit her. Why does she still wear them?"

"Well, it seems she likes to poop in her panties but if you think she's too old to wear baby pants you should know that I have to put baby diapers on her at night. She still pees the bed every night and I don't want her to ruin the mattress," mommy told her as the saleslady looked through the stock.

"Step in here little girl and try on these. I hope they fit, they are the largest we carry," said the lady handing me a pairs of blue plastic covered training panties. Standing in a little dressing room with the door open I pulled off my dress and the other baby panties and tried them on.

"Could you also find some plastic baby pants for me that will fit her?" asked mother.

"Let her try on these" said the saleslady handing mommy a pairs of white plastic panties. "They are the largest we sell. They are called super size baby pants so they ought to fit her," said the lady.

After checking me over mom said, "They look fine to me see what you think?"

While she checked the fit she asked, "How many do you want?"

All the while Vicky was laughing her head off while I was trying on the offensive garments.

"Well let me see I'll have a half dozen of those super size plastic baby pants and a dozen of the plastic covered baby training panties and please mix up the colours."

"Will that be all?" asked the saleslady while she picked out what mother wanted.

"Oh, I almost forgot I want three dozen of the large baby diapers. I didn't forget my little baby girls' diapers, did I honey." said mother with a laugh.

Mommy and Vicky were having a field day laughing at my expense. The lady shook her head in bewilderment and looking at my sad face she smiled at me and whispered, "Don't let it bother you so much you'll get over it one day."

I got very depressed and withdrawn the next couple of weeks frequently peeing in my baby panties during the day and always flooding my diapers at night and during my naps.

One day I met Sharon, her family had just moved in down the street. Since we were the same age we'd be in the same class in school. Having a lot in common we became great pals. Her sister Karen was a year younger than Vicky so they played together. Sometimes we were able to stay over night with each other. She never laughed at me for having to wear baby panties or that I was still in night diapers, in fact she thought mom was mean to treat me like a baby.

I had to be careful at school to make sure none of the kids found out though. Sharon helped me by standing guard in front of the toilet when I had to pee pee or poo poo since this was the most likely time I could be discovered.

In the summer of 1956 we moved to Pico Riveria. I had my own room for awhile so I liked this house better. Even though I had to make new friends. Most of all I didn't have to wear those plastic covered baby training panties anymore. I was also taken out of night diapers and plastic baby panties by the end of the summer. I didn't have to wear them anymore for the next couple of years except during occasional lapses of bedwetting.

In September 1957 I gained a baby brother Gary Allen. This forced me to once again share a room with Vicky. I didn't really mind since we got along most of the time.

In October 1958 Denny was born but tragically he died in January of 1959. I felt very guilty because I'd wished him dead. I was very jealous of the attention he was getting. I asked GOD how come he didn't take useless me instead. Although I didn't have anything to do with his death. My bedwetting returned to full bloom putting me back into night diapers and plastic panties for several months.

That summer of 1959, I met my first cousins, Lance, David and Lane whose ages were seven, six and four. My Aunt Ruth (mom's younger sister) dropped them off. They stayed with us the whole summer and I was extremely nervous at first since I was nine and had to be diapered in front of them. But I soon was joined by Lance. He slept with me when he wet my bed the first night. David wet Vicky's bed a few nights later. Lane was still in night diapers so counting Gary who was only two; Mother's hands were full. Washing and changing diapers for five babies. My sister was the 'only big girl' in the house. I was really lonely when they went back home but a short time later I was once again free of the dreadful diapers. As a matter of fact I stayed out of them for the next two years. Save for the summer of 1960 and the many times we visited Sharon's house. Her parents and mine would get together to party. They'd play board games and get drunk. These gatherings usually lasted until the wee hours with us kids in bed by ten."Beverly I know that Donna is a chronic bedwetter and I really appreciate it if you would put a diaper on her. I wouldn't want her peeing in one of my beds," said Sharon's mother (her mother's name was Beverly)."If you want Donna to wear a diaper it's fine with me but you can just do it yourself I get enough of diapering her little butt at home." said mommy with a loud laugh.A few minutes later Beverly came back into the living room. She was carrying a bath towel, two diaper pins and a pair of white plastic panties. I acted as if I didn't know what was going on.

"Okay Donna get your little peeing butt over here. Your Aunt Bev has a diaper to cover it up with," said Sharon's mother. As I slowly got undressed she laid the towel on the floor and folded it into a thick diaper while sitting on the couch.

"Hurry up you little peepot lay down here on this diaper I've been good enough to provide for Baby Donna. I won't even let anyone but you use it. I'll put your name on it and whenever you're here you'll wear it. It will be just yours to pee in. You like that don't you?" said Beverly, joining with the others and laughing at her own joke.I laid down on the towel-diaper and pretended I didn't mind.

"You're the biggest baby I've ever diapered. Karen get me some baby powder I wouldn't want Baby Donna to get a diaper rash," said Beverly as she adjusted the towel into a good fitting diaper.

When Karen returned with the baby powder she raised my legs and powdered my butt. "Open your legs wider I want to powder your little pissy pussy. That's better." she laughed as she pulled the diaper tightly between my thighs and pinning it around my waist.

"Karen give Baby Donna Gary's baby bottle she can take it to bed with her," said my mother, getting in on the act.

"Stand up here so Aunt Bev can put your baby panties on you, hope they'll fit I bought them yesterday just for you. These are the super size plastic baby panties. They ought to be worn by a super size baby," said Beverly as she pulled the plastic panties snugly over my diaper.

"Oh you look so cute waddling in your diapers. Don't forget your baby bottle honey," threw in mom as I headed quickly into the bedroom. I had to get away from the intense laughter. Everyone but Sharon thought it a terrific joke on me, even Gary. I guess that it's needless to say I didn't find it a bit funny.

That night after the other kids were asleep Sharon and I talked, told each other jokes and scary stories. Before we went to sleep she said, "I didn't think my mother was a very nice person to do you the way she did. I don't care if she was drunk she was very cruel and mean."

The summer of 196O Vicky and I were sent to Bakersfield to spend the whole vacation with our Aunt Ruth, Uncle Jay, Lance, David and Lane. I had a good time despite the fact that I wet the bed twice and was forced into wearing diapers and plastic panties but so was Lance and David. My Uncle Jay was fun, I really liked him.

That Thanksgiving our family stayed at Sharon's house all night. Of course Beverly made a big production of putting me into diapers and plastic panties but I had fun anyway.

That night Sharon interrupted the joke I was telling her and said, "I want to kiss you, do you care if I do?"

I didn't know what to say so just let her. I really enjoyed it so much that I kissed her back. Before long we were quite skilled at French kissing each other.

Whenever we were alone after that night we'd practice our kissing eventually moving on to other things such as fondling each other's pussies. The last time we were together Sharon pulled down my diapers and plastic panties and. kissed my pussy her tongue finding the right place to go inside. Afterwards I pulled down her panties and kissed her little pussy. Just in case you've lost track we were both ten going on eleven.

We didn't see each other again for a few years. Her parents had split up and we were both fifteen. By then she was doing it with boys and I haven't seen her since so I don't know if she continued

The summer of 196I my cousins came down to stay again but this time Lance who was nine, David eight and Lane six were the only ones in night diapers and plastic panties. Gary who was only four was out of them. I thank the LORD I didn't have to wear them. I'd been dry all year. My Uncle Jay stayed for awhile. It seems that he and my Aunt Ruth were having trouble standing each other. He took us all to Disneyland. It was fantastic but he left after that. I never saw him again.

In 1962 my mother got her own house in La Puente, California. The house was real nice except it only had three bedrooms, which meant I had to share a room with Vicky but it had two bathrooms one even had a shower instead of a tub.

I was in the fifth grade and at my new school I got my first boyfriend. He dumped me after a couple of weeks saying I was too serious for him. This fell on me like a ton of bricks and I became very depressed so naturally my bedwetting problem came back strong as ever. I was so low it didn't even bother me being diapered in the living room for all who cared to see a twelve-year-old get her little butt diapered.

My little titties were beginning to bud but even that didn't help my mood much.

CHAPTER II GROWING UP

That summer of 1962 it was once again me and Vicky's turn to spend our school vacation in sunny Bakersfield. Our Aunt Ruth and Uncle Jay had been divorced. She was sharing a place with two other divorced women and their children. Marlene's boy Steven was seven and Dianne had one three named Johnny and Billy who was two. The house had five bedrooms, one for each of the mothers, one in which me, Lance and Vicky and David slept. The last being shared by Lane, Steven, Johnny and Billy. I shared Lance's bed and Vicky slept with David as usual.

I didn't know that Mommy had sent up my diapers that actually were several old towels with the smaller baby diapers used inside for extra padding. She also sent four diaper pins and two pairs of plastic panties just in case my aunt needed to diaper me.

On the third morning Lance, Steven and I were wet. Dianne did the babysitting so the other two could work. After breakfast she discovered the wet beds and immediately put Steven and Lance into baby diapers before sending them outside to play without their pants on. I guess she didn't know that I'd wet the bed too so I was off the hook. The chain link fence which surrounded the backyard left a clear view to the other neighbourhood kids. They teased the boys all morning. When Marlene and Aunt Ruth came during their lunch hour they heard the news from Dianne. Marlene got super pissed and took off Steven's diaper right outside telling her to never put one on him no matter what ever again.

Aunt Ruth just laughed at Lance saying it was good for him. Me I stayed out of sight not wanting to draw any special attention.

We were called in to take a nap after they went back to work. I was laying on the bed on the verge of dozing off when Dianne came into the room with diapers and plastic panties.

"Sharon, I found your wet nightie this morning where you tried to hide it," said Dianne, "I wasn't sure if I had the right to diaper you like I did the boys so I asked your aunt about it and she said that you're no stranger to wearing diapers, in fact your mom had even sent some to be put on you.'

"If it was just up to me. I would but Ruth gave me your diapers she wants you to wear them just like Lance, Johnny and Billy, now get undressed so I can get this over with."

I did and after my nap, I joined the others outside in diapers and plastic panties for the rest of the day.

A month later Auntie moved us in with her boyfriend Sam. I was glad to be able to say good-bye to Steven. A neighbour lady took care of us there. David and Lane had by then joined me and Lance in diaperland. Wet diapers in the morning still meant diapers all day for the offenders. I spent most of my time that way.

Since Sharon and I had first experimented with sex I'd began to masturbate myself either in the bathroom or in the middle of the night. I was starting to grow up.

One night I was masturbating when a sudden uncontrollable urge took my hand to my cousin's diaper covered crotch. This turned me on even more. He was lying on his side I eased over onto mine. I gently undid his pyjamas and pulled them down. My nightie was already up. I slowly rubbed his diaper-clad pecker as my diapered pussy moved against his thickly padded rear. I got so carried away he woke up. Lance removed my hand and rolled over facing me but I was past the point of caring. Putting both my hands behind him I rolled I rolled over onto my back taking him with me. I continued my wild motions diapered pussy to diapered pecker. I guess he began to enjoy it because it wasn't long before he was moving with me, his hands finding their way to my butt and mine to his. I'd no sooner reached my peak then I realised what I'd done.

"Let's do that some more I really liked it!" he said.

Without thinking I grabbed Lance's neck giving him a deep kiss. "How did you like that?" I asked. He nodded his approval while trying to catch his breath. For the next hour I gave him French kissing lessons.

The next night after some kissing I let him kiss my little titties then I kissed on his pecker. By the time I had to go home I'd let him kiss my little pussy but wouldn't let it go any further.

I met Shelly when I started the eighth grade. Shelly and her mother had recently come to live with her older sister's family who lived just two houses down the block. We became the best of friends for the next three years. She was the tom boy type and seemed to be able to outdo me in everything. I was a skinny little 'pee pot'. Mother's favourite pet name for me was spastic. That year there were many changes in my life and some were hard to get used to.

The arrival of my grandparents was the first. They stayed at our house until they got hired to manage a twelve-room motel in Santa Barbara. I hadn't seen them but once since leaving Washington, they were almost strangers to me.

At this point I was getting more responsibility and more freedom at home and at school. It was hard to adapt to.

Another milestone in my life, Gary. He was rapidly taking my place as head bedwetter in the family. With all my useable old diapers and plastic panties passing to him by the end of the year.

My thirteenth birthday marked the end of being diapered by my mother. About time huh? But it was too late. Although, I didn't know it yet I was already hooked for life. Diapers and plastic panties had become a part of me and I couldn't live without them.

Other changes were the speedy ripening of my body. My titties had been growing, my leg, underarm and pubic hair was sprouting and my slightly painful menstrual cycles began. This maturing brought it's own changes such as make-up, sanitary napkins, garter belts, shaving, hose, and of course the best of all, boys.

The last major change was my growing need for my old nemesis, plastic panties. I'd rescued a few pairs from Gary's room and hid them in my dresser drawer. At first I only put them on at night to masturbate in then I was putting them on in the bathroom to rub against myself during the day and sometimes even to school.

I started to keep a pair in my school locker. I couldn't help it something seemed to be driving me deeper and deeper into living a secret life.

I got turned not only by wearing them but knowing that I could get uncovered by the boldness of my actions. Nothing phased me, not even the close calls in the girls' locker room. I wore them to school dances letting the boys rub themselves against my plastic pantied pussy. I'd dance the night I away working myself into a frenzy. I couldn't help but wonder what they'd think if they knew.

The first part of the 1963 summer I went to Santa Barbara and Vicky stayed home with Lance, David and Lane. My Uncle Ron brought his family to visit Grandma; they came down from Alaska. He had two boys ages two and three. I'd never met any of them before but my Aunt taught me to diaper the boys and left me to baby-sit them. I didn't get paid for doing it although I enjoyed changing their diapers. When they were leaving I liberated a dozen diapers, two pairs of toddler training panties and three pairs of super sized plastic panties. Yes, they still fit real well in fact. From then on I was diapering myself, usually in the bathroom at night.

I'd wear the diapers and plastic panties to bed, yes all three pairs at once and the plastic covered training panties I wore during the day. A few times I boldly wore the diapers and a pairs of plastic panties in the daytime without my regular panties on. I loved the way they clung to me always letting me know that they were there.

There was a supermarket within walking distance to the motel. Grandma shopped there and she'd send me sometimes to pick up a few things for dinner. Anyway, one time I got really bold, I waited on an isolated aisle until I heard someone coming then I bent over with my legs held straight. I discreetly watched between my legs for their reactions. I had discovered a new turn on and continued it every chance I got. You've probably guessed that standing straight legged and bending over with no panties on gave others a good view of my exposed diapers and plastic panties. The guys would all look hoping for a free beaver shot but then turn away either puzzled or embarrassed.

I was doing this one day when a woman unexpectedly entered the aisle. I stood up quickly and turned to leave the store.

"Just a minute, young lady, I'd like a word with you." She said as she took hold of my arm guiding me toward the back where she unlocked a door and said, "We can talk privately in here." After relocking the door she raised up my dress by the hem.

"What's the meaning of these," she said while fingering my plastic covered diapers.

I froze up, couldn't speak, even if I did know what to say, I couldn't have.

"I've received several complaints lately about you exposing yourself to the customers, even one of the men reported you to me," she said dropping my dress and eyeing me as if she expected an answer.

I lowered my head and didn't speak.

"Are you going to let me search you or do you want the police to?" she asked me.

"AH... you... can..." I managed to get out of my mouth. I could have died.

She pulled up my dress patting my bra. She pulled down my plastic panties and unpinned one side of my diapers letting them slid down my legs. Finding nothing she helped me back into my babified outfit.

"Why does your mother still make you wear baby diapers? Do you wear them all the time? Why have you been giving our customers a free shot? Well are you going to answer me young lady or do I have to call the police?" She kept firing questions at me.

"I just like too..." I blurted out.

"Do you mean you just like to show yourself off or that you just like to wear diapers, what is it?" She asked taking hold of my chin and looking me straight in the eyes.

"To...wear... them..." I stammered.

"Why do you like to wear diapers and baby pants?"

"I... don't know... just... do..." I answered choking back my tears.

"Well come on, I guess I'd better take you home. You'll show me where you live won't you?" she said taking hold of my arm again.

I was scared stiff wondering what my mother would do when she found out. I wasn't prepared at all when all the lady did was ask grandma if I could baby-sit for her that night. Grandma knew her and said it would be all right with her.

Ellen's house was only a block past the store. Once inside she said, "Make yourself at home I'll be right back there is some thing I have to pick up from the store."

I was perched on the edge of her sofa nervous as a cat. By the time she returned I wondered where her kids were. In the other room I heard the shower running.

"Donna, come her I want you to get yourself cleaned up" she yelled from the bathroom. I went in and she helped me get undressed.

The hot water relaxed me so much that I was feeling normal when I got done washing. Getting out of the shower I discovered that Ellen had taken all my clothes. She took me by the hand and led me into a bedroom across the hall. Lying across the bed were fresh diapers and a pair of pink plastic panties. Without thinking I got on the bed to diaper myself.

"Let me put your diapers on you honey you look so pretty when your clean," Ellen said. I laid back and let her diaper me. I felt a little funny but strangely calm.

She was pinning my diaper when she stopped and reached into a diaper bag that I hadn't notice before setting next to the bed. Pulling a pink baby bottle out she handed it to me saying, "Here baby this will help you feel better."

As she finished pinning my diapers and pulled the plastic panties over my thick diapers I popped the baby bottle into my mouth and greedily started sucking the sweet tasting milk into my mouth. There must have been something in it because in a few minutes I began feeling lightheaded and all giggly.

"How does Mommy's baby feel now, all comfy and cosy I think!" she said while putting her right hand into my diapers and rubbing my pussy.

"Ah... I feel so good..." I cooed. I was getting excited by the motion of her soft hand.

"Mommy's going to take good care of her baby," she said in a soothing tone. Her other hand was manipulating the tender nipples of my small breasts in a knowing way. Stopping suddenly she stood up and undressed. I was awed by her large firm titties as they swung into view. I reached out to touch them letting the empty baby bottle fall to the floor. When she was totally naked I caught a glimpse of her hairless pussy as she climbed over me into the bed and lay down beside me.

Taking me into her arms she guided one of my hands between her legs as my fingers probed her tender moist pussy she found my mouth with hers. Deeply kissing me her hand expertly massaged my diaper-covered pussy. We quickly reached climax together. After a brief rest to catch our breaths we excitedly explored each other's naked bodies with our hands and lips taking us to another orgasm.

I lay back with a sigh as Ellen left the room only to return in a few moments. She was carrying a douche bag. Hanging it on a hook over the bed I watched the thing. I got a little dizzy seeing it swing back and forth. Looking back at Ellen I saw her get a jar of Vaseline and some diapers out of the diaper bag. Spreading a lap pad over her thighs she said "Come over here and lay your little butt face down on mama's lap honey."

Before I could question her she had smeared Vaseline on my butthole. I tried to rise up but she restrained me with a firm hand then she gently inserted the nozzle's tip inside me. It hurt a little when she pushed it the rest of the way in. It felt slightly uncomfortable when she released the warm water and it came rushing into me. I began to squirm as the feeling of fullness was building. "Be still now you'll be alright," she warned me reinforcing it with a stinging slap on my butt.

"But it hurts Mommy," I replied in defiance.

"It's just a little water, it won't hurt you if you relax," said Ellen stroking my long hair.

"Please, I can't take it anymore make it stop Mommy." I begged in desperation. Painful stomach cramps churned inside of me.

"You're almost done now. I'm not stopping until the bag is empty," she said sharply.

I was trembling when I finally felt her pulling the nozzle out with a loud pop. Rolling me over she quickly pinned a double thick diaper on me saying, "I want you to hold it in until you can peepee do you hear me?"

"I'll try Mommy," I said, feeling a little better since the pressure had let off.

"YOU'D BETTER!' she commanded as she pulled two pairs of the plastic panties over the super thick diaper and placing another baby bottle into my mouth. Her hand went into my diapers to rest on my pussy.

Somehow I managed not to let out any of the water deep inside my bowels until I felt the peepee running through her fingers into my thick dry diapers. I relaxed and sucked the sweet liquid out of my baby bottle. As the poopee filled water gushed out with a sputtering sound it rapidly filled up my diapers a foul odour drifted to my nostrils.

At the same time the poopee was spurting out of me Ellen's finger entered my pussy and she moved it slowly in and out while doing the same thing to her pussy. I rubbed first her titties then mine while we kissed and her fingers began to move faster and faster until we both reached our climax together.

I got the best one I'd ever had, feeling all that peepee and poopee slosh around in my diapers. I was exhausted and weak. I could hardly move for a long time so I lay there in her arms and we talked.

Ellen told me that she was recently divorced, that she had two children, the youngest still in diapers full-time and the other in night diapers. They were staying with their father for the summer.

I told her all about my experiences and ended by saying that I had been in and out of diapers and plastic panties since I was four. I told her that I didn't understand the way I felt about wearing them and enjoying them so much.

"Don't worry about it you'll grow out of it soon, I'm sure. Did you like what we've been doing tonight?" she asked.

"I loved it very much." I said smiling up at her.

"Would you like to be with me again?"

"Oh yes, can I?" I asked.

"Sure you can. How about Friday night?" she said with a laugh. "Let's get you cleaned up it will be time for me to take you home soon." And gently kissing my lips, she carried me to the shower.

With the hot water running down my body Ellen squatted down and began squashing the poopee in my diaper against my butt while sucking my titties. I reached her titties and began squeezing them. Almost casually we made love again.

It was after midnight when she dropped me off at Grandma's motel. I went straight to bed and dreamily drifted off to sleep with my hands on my plastic covered diapers wishing they were hers.

We were able to spend six more evenings making love and playing baby games before I had to go back home. She gave me five dollars each time for babysitting so I had thirty-five dollars to take home.

My one regret was that I couldn't diaper her but I guess it wouldn't have been as good since she wasn't into them like I was.

The rest of the time left that summer I spent mainly at home, bicycle riding and hiking the local hills with Shelly. Although my cousins were in I spent very little time with them except for Lance.

Mother gave me the job of diapering the boys in the living room for bed but I had to diaper Gary in the privacy of his own room. He was only six yet mommy didn't want him humiliated in front of his cousins. She also changed the sleeping arrangements. Lance now slept with Gary. David still with Vicky and Lane with me. She thought I was too old to share my bed with Lance. This put a serious roadblock in my sexual experiments with Lance but we still managed to meet often in the bathroom at night. I secretly continued to wear my cosy diapers during the day and to pee in them during the night. I was the one that did all the changing and washing of them so no one noticed the extra diaper usage.

With the resumption of school in the fall I switched to wearing the plastic covered training panties or just plastic panties under my regular panties but getting a big thrill out of it still.

I was starting to get regular babysitting jobs around the neighbourhood. The pay wasn't great but I got to do a lot of diapering while wearing my own diapers on the job.

In October I got my first letter from Ellen she sent me five dollars but was very discreet. I'm sure you know why. But Mother didn't even open it let alone read it. My return letters were steamy on the other hand, expressing my lust for her.

One of my jobs was for Sue who had always lived next door. It was one of the boring ones to me. Her five-year-old Christy was out of diapers. One night I was giving her a bath before putting her to bed when I opened the hall closet getting her a towel and something caught my eye. Lying on the shelf was a pair of large white plastic panties. Besides them were several diaper pins and a large bottle of baby powder. My curiosity was aroused and after Christy was asleep I poked around the rest of the house to see if there were anymore. The rear bedroom had a set of bunk beds, a twin bed and two chests of drawers. That was where I found more, in the top drawer. There I found two violet pairs of plastic panties with the name Cathy written on them. In the third drawer I found two pink pairs with Sara written on them. The bottom drawer had four more pairs in it one white, two yellow and one green but they didn't have any name on them. There was also a diaper like I've never seen before that I fell in love with. I laid it out open and it had a kind of hourglass shape with an extra four-ply middle section of cotton flannel placed over a two ply cotton body. The outside was covered in white baby plastic print. The print was pink and blue ABC blocks. It was very pretty and babified.

I was enthralled so I stripped out of my diapers and plastic panties and laid on the twin bed and tied the diaper securely on, it was a great fit. There was plenty of room for growth. I searched the rest of the house leaving my diapers and plastic panties under the bed.

The room that Christy was in had two twin beds and a dresser. Going through that one I found two blue pairs of plastic panties marked Jimmy and two white pairs in another drawer that said Tommy on them. With the four pairs of plastic panties still in my hand I walked back down the hall stopping to pick up the white pairs in the closet. Getting out all the other plastic panties from their drawers I laid them all onto the twin bed. One at a time I put on all the plastic panties one over the other until my diapered crotch was covered by all thirteen pairs. They fit easily being larger than any I worn before.

I was really turned on. The thick pile of plastic panties covering the fancy diaper was driving me wild. I went to see what I looked like in the mirror. This increased my excitement so much that I laid down on the floor on my belly placing both my hands under my thickly padded pussy. I rubbed it to climax. Afterwards I was careful to replace the fancy diaper and plastic panties exactly where they'd been even though I wanted very much to keep them. I was still trying to figure out the meaning of their presence when Sue returned home. Without realising it at first she gave me the answer.

"Donna could you baby-sit for me next Saturday?" asked Sue.

"Sure," I replied.

"I'll have my sister's brats staying with me. There are four of them, do you think you can handle them?" she asked as she paid me three dollars.

"How old are they?" I asked.

"Hum, let's see, there's Cathy, she's twelve. Jimmy is eleven, Sara is ten and Tommy is eight. Their not mean but I have to put diapers on them every night because they all wet the bed and I don't what's wrong with them. My Christy never wets" Sue answered.

"I'm sure I can handle them. See you Saturday night." I said. As she closed the door behind me my mind whirled.

I couldn't wait until Saturday came. Imagine seeing all those diapered kids. What fun I could have. Imagine not one but two diapered girls. I'd never seen a big girl diapered since I started to like them. It was a long wait but Saturday finally arrived.

When I got to Sue's house she took me into the television room to meet my charges and get my final instructions.

"Kids, this is Donna, she'll be watching you for tonight. That's Cathy, she's about your age, I think. This is Jimmy and over there is Sara and Tommy on the couch. Of, course you know Christy," she said pointing them out to me.

"I'm thirteen, so Cathy's a year younger than me," I said pointedly.

"Oh well come with me for a minute there's more I need to tell you" said Sue leading me down the hall.

We entered the back bedroom she pointed to a stack of towels with diaper pins on it and said, "I use those towels for diapers and they each will get their own plastic pants when you diaper them. You can do it whenever you want but make sure they pee in the toilet before bed. Cathy and Jimmy can stay up till eleven but I want the others in bed by nine, okay?"

"Sure everything will be fine. How long will you be gone?" I asked.

"We'll be gone till three or four. The numbers by the phone in case you need it. By the way since you're spending the night I want you to wear a diaper too. There's one there for you along with diaper pins and a pairs of plastic pants," she said pointing them out on the bed.

"Huh. what, I..." I tried to bay something but she cut me off.

"I talked to your mother and she told me it was up to me, that you have been known to wet the bed sometimes so I want you to wear one if you don't mind." She said as she walked out.

Actually you and I both know I didn't mind but I loved it even though I couldn't let it show. I waited about fifteen minutes after they left before diapering myself. My diapers, which I had on, I put in a paper bag to take back home. I wore her diapers that night.

Starting with Tommy I called them in one at a time to be diapered. I saved Cathy for last.

"Cathy, get out your nightgown and plastic panties then get undressed and I'll go ahead and diaper you." I softly said. I wanted to diaper her without being cruel.

"Okay, Donna, but isn't it a little early?" she asked.

"I thought I'd get it over with so everyone can relax," I said while I readied her diaper.

"Okay, it doesn't really bother me to put them on early," she answered.

"Don't feel bad about having to wear them. I'll tell you a secret if you keep it to yourself."

"A secret. Okay, I won't tell a soul."

"I have to wear diapers too," I said raising my gown for her to see them.

"Oh wow... you do. You wet the bed too? I thought I was..." said Cathy as she stood there naked a look of surprise on her face.

"Well, I haven't been wetting lately but Sue wanted me to wear them tonight," I said as she lay down on the diaper. Do you like wearing diapers? I do." I asked

"You do? WOW! I don't really mind it but Jimmy hates it. I never thought anyone could like to wear diapers though," she said as I pinned her diaper and pulled up her plastic panties.

She looked so sweet lying there that I leaned over and kissed her. She got that surprised look again but didn't object so I kissed her again. A feeling of arousal came over me and I couldn't stop myself from feeling her budding breast. Looking again she responded to me. My hands were busy one on her titties the other on her diaper squeezing. I had to stop though when I heard footsteps coming down the hall.

There was a disagreement about which TV program to watch. I went in to settle it telling Cathy we would talk later. I sent everyone except Cathy to bed at nine. Making sure that they were all a sleep Cathy and I hugged up under a blanket to watch a thriller on TV. With her so close I couldn't resist continuing where I had left off. I kissed her and laying on our sides facing each other we kissed some more while exploring each other's titties with our hands.

Getting worked up almost to the state of madness I took her into the bathroom where I quickly removed my nightgown then hers. We lay on the floor where I kissed her long and hard before moving to her titties with my tongue. Sucking her titties I fumbled with my hands to pull down her diapers after which my tongue and lips moved to her pussy while my hands rubbed my diapered pussy to climax.

Cathy got off too then I had her peepee in the toilet. While she did I put my hand between her pussy and the toilet while with my other hand in my diaper and a finger inside I worked myself to my peak again as her peepee filled my hand. It was really turning me on feeling her warm pee in my hand land trickling through my fingers.

Cathy told me she really enjoyed it. I re-diapered her and then pulled down my diaper and peed before we went to bed together. I fell quickly asleep with her in my arms.

CHAPTER III THE TEEN YEARS

The summer of 1964 I spent half of it in Santa Barbara before joining Vicky in Bakersfield. Ellen had busied herself with sewing while I had been gone and the first weekend I spent with her she presented me with the things she made.

I was really surprised to say the least. She made me a dozen diapers, a pretty cotton baby dress with matching bonnet. She hunted down four pairs of super size plastic panties for me. Everything was pink, my favourite colour. She dressed me up in my new outfit then we made love. At night she put me in a baby crib right up next to her bed. I went to sleep with my hand in hers. We made love as much as possible in our time awake.

We took many showers together, after she gave me an enema and on one occasion she introduced me to a new experience. We had been making out under the steamy water when she brought out a double-headed dong. My eyes went wide as she put one end in her pussy and after pulling aside my poopee filled diapers and plastic panties placed the other end next to mine. Holding me close we continued to kiss as she rubbed it against me while moving it in and out of her pussy. It felt so good I begged her to put it in me. Lowering me to the shower floor on my back she moved my legs into position, got on top of me and gently guided it in my pussy. It hurt at first but soon felt great. Moving in time to her the dong moving in and out of us both we quickly reached joint orgasms all too soon. All too soon I had to say good bye to Ellen and Grandma again.

Aunt Ruth had gotten remarried to a guy named Bill. He had a boy seven and a girl five who lived with him. When I got there Lane, David and I wet the bed. Finding Lane's wet bed my aunt checked my panties, naturally they were wet. She told me if I did it again she'd have no choice but to diaper me. It didn't happen again for a week. Secretly I enjoyed it when she diapered me. In the privacy of the bathroom, Lance and I got together whenever we could to make out. My last night we went all the way. His pecker was a lot smaller than the dongs Ellen had given me but the real thing is ten times better. Lance told me afterwards he really enjoyed doing it even if I was just his cousin.

Two weeks after we got home mom and dad took a three-week vacation to Catalina Island. School had started so we couldn't go. I'm sure they planned it that way. Gary and Vicky stayed at friends while I stayed with Sue next door.

I was drying off in the shower when Sue came in I figured she came in to pee but when I got out she was sitting on the toilet forming adiaper out of two bath towels lying on the floor.

I started to speak but she told me to hurry up to she could diaper me.

"But I didn't wet the bed the last time I was here" I replied pretending that I didn't like it but you know I did.

"Your Mother said that you wet the bed at your Aunt' s when you stayed there and that she had to put a diaper on you. You're to be treated the same while you're here" she said. I lay on the diaper and she quickly pinned it on me.

"I wish you wouldn't do this" I said to make it sound good. It wouldn't do at allfor her to know my real feelings.

Leaving the room she said "Put on those plastic pants then come out and help me diaper the others."

By the time I got to the TV room she was diapering Jimmy so I diapered Cathy and Sara while she took care of Tommy.

That night I slept with Cathy, Sara slept in the top bunk while Christy in the lower and of course Tommy and Jimmy took the twin beds in the other room. I got up to pee in the night and decided Christy should wet the bed so I got an old glass from the kitchen and I peed into it and went to her bed. I pulled her covers and nightie back and emptied the whole glass. I poured it on the crotch of her panties soaking them and her bed. I know it was an awful mean trick to pull but it didn't work anyway. I did the same thing every night for two weeks but a diaper never touched her butt.

We were all wet that morning. Sue changed every one into fresh diapers except Christy. Cathy and I had to do washing and ironing all day, but Jimmy and Tommy got the worst of it, they had to wear dresses over their diapers and play dolls with Sara and Christy in the back yard. Even though I felt sorry for them I thought Jimmy looked so cute in it.

That Saturday I was left in charge when Sue and her husband went out to an all night party. I put the others in bed early for acting up then Cathy and I curled up on the couch under the blanket.

Sitting close it seemed natural putting my arm around her as I squeezed her diapered crotch. One thing led to another and it wasn't long until we were in each other's arms, kissing. I directed her hand into my diaper-clad pussy. She rubbed me and I raised her gown to suck her titties. We slipped off our nighties as our desires grew stronger. Taking turns nursing on each other's breasts and playing with each other's pussies. Our diapers were around our ankles and we were kissing our pussies when Jimmy came in. We were so engrossed wedidn't notice until I felt him enter me from behind. I was startled but didn't stop and we soon got off together.

We were resting afterwards when Cathy said, "Jimmy and I do it allthe time. I love his pecker in me."

"So do I," I said as I pulled aside his diaper and took his pecker in my mouth enjoying the taste of his sweet salty sperm, Cathy moved down to lick me and when he was ready again he entered her from behind as Cathy and I licked each other. Jimmy's pecker was much bigger than Lance's but not as big as the dong. After we all got off I fetched the dongs. One was the two-headed type and the other a single that could be strapped on. Taking the two-headed one I put one end in me and the other in Cathy and we made love while Jimmy rested. After that we took turns being banged by Jimmy until we were exhausted and went to bed.

The rest of the time we'd meet in the bathroom every night to make love.

Sex was great for me and I couldn't get enough. No matter how much I got it was always on my mind. I'm surprised I could get anything done but all things come to an end and I found myself home once again having to satisfy myself which is never as good as sharing it with others.

Life was never the same after I left my childhood behind me, along with my virginity, and became a teenager, but even as this was happening I knew I could never give up my baby ways and give up wearing diapers and plastic panties no matter how much I tried to hide it from myself. I was some how doomed to be different from the normal teenage girl and boy. It took me years trying to understand why before I realised I couldn't change my ways.

Life went on until one day my brass carried me too far. I'd been wearing diapers and plastic panties under my dress and panties quite a bit. One spring day I wore them under a pair of shorts. Even though the diaper was very thin there was an unmistakable bulge. Dad took us to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. My bulging diaper and all I thought myself very clever that no one could tell.

I was taking my shower that night well pleased and could hardly wait to put them back on, I didn't think anything when mom came in but when I got out she was standing there holding my diapers and plastic panties in her hands.

'What's the meaning of this?" she demanded with that funny look in her eyes.

I stood there struck dumb hoping it was all just a dream.

"Why have you been wearing diapers?" she asked tossing them at me.

"I. don't... know..." I stuttered with a nervous twitch sending a chill down my spine.

She stood there a long time staring a hole through me before picking up my diapers and saying, "get yourself dressed," and leaving the room.

When I finally made it to my room she was searching my dresser drawers and several diapers, plastic covered training and plastic panties were forming a pile on my bed. Along with the ones I'd been wearing. My sister Vicky was sitting on the bed with her mouth open. Mother gathered up all my baby things taking them out with her and away from me.

She didn't mention one word of my fate but I guessed she wasn't going to let me wear them anymore. My heart was crushed. I thought she wasn't being fair after all she introduced them to me. I was depressed, sad and pissed off all at the same time. As soon as mom was gone Vicky started giggling and making fun of me. I tried to ignore her by crawling into bed with my back to her. I knew Mother hadn't found all my diapers and plastic panties nor the dongs and I gave a little sigh of relief.

Naturally after that I had to be very careful, only putting on my diaper and plastic panties late at night to relieve myself and taking them off right after and returning them to my hiding place. Eventually mother found all of them so I used all of my money to buy more hiding, them discreetly around the house but with all her constant searching I stopped wearing regular diapers and started to use towels instead. I didn't really like them as much but that way I only had to hide plastic panties and pins, which are much easier to hide then bulky diapers.

The only time I could wear diapers for more than a few minutes was when babysitting. Mother had started babysitting other kids on a regular basis before she found me out and she would leave me to watch them if she went out shopping. She would no sooner be out the door then I'd be in my diapers. Since most of them were toddlers I'd crawl around on the floor with them and play baby with them in their diapers too. It was the same thing I'd been doing with my own client's kids. During this time period I became very skilful at wiggling out of my diapers and plastic panties without unpinning them. To do this I couldn't pin them so tight around my waist. Removing my diapers in this way left them in one piece a sort of diaper panty. When I wanted to put them on it was a simple process of just slipping them on and pulling them up.

When I was working for my clients who didn't have babies or children in diapers I'd wear my own. If they did wear them I'd just wear my plastic panties and use their diapers. This way I could enjoy peeing and sometimes pooping in them. Drinking water constantly out of a baby bottle I could have frequent diaper changes during the evening. Fortunately for me I was never caught playing baby.

Ellen and I were still writing to each other and I kept her up to date on all my adventures. Shortly before summer vacation she called mother. She was taking her vacation in Orange County for a week and she wanted to take me along to help watch the kids and to enjoy all the places she planned to visit. Mother agreed as long as she could meet her first. It seemed like forever until school let out that year. My excitement was built to a fever pitch till she finally arrived to get me. Being already packed and ready to go I introduced her to mother and after a cup of coffee we left.

Although a bit nervous I was anxious to meet her kids. Even though it meant we couldn't be open about our relationship. She told mom that the kids were in Orange County already. I was only a little disappointed when we arrived to discover she hadn't really brought them. She had never intended to, that just meant we could have more fun than I had anticipated.

After giving me a little yellow pill she said would relax me we went to visit Knott's Berry Farm. I had a great time despite of all the rude stares. Ellen was carrying a large diaper bag on her shoulder and when I told her I was thirsty she handed me a pink baby bottle full of milk.

There were even some crass remarks in addition to stares but she put them in their place. They didn't want to mess with my 'baby mommy'. After a diaper change in the ladies' room, without going into a stall, she tied my matching pink bonnet securely under my chin as I happily sucked on another bottle of milk. The pill she gave me made it all seem so unreal, like it was a dream, but they made me so sleepy we left early. Back at the room we made love again before I took a nap.

After waking we made love in the shower then again in the bed before she retired in her bed and me in my crib, besides her. Yes, she had even rented a crib for her baby.

We spent the next three days seeing Disneyland, with me as the baby and her my mommy. There were several diaper changing stations where Ellen changed my wet diapers. I sucked on my baby bottle while watching other mommy's change their babies and trying to hide their embarrassment. I enjoyed that part more than the rides. She gave me some more of the yellow pills and boy did they relax me. I bet you wish you could have come along with us don't you? Thinking back on it I can hardly believe we did it but we did. That was my first taste of drugs. What I'm most grateful of is that we didn't run into anyone I knew.

The fifth day we spent alone together in our room talking and making love. The sixth and seventh days she took her baby shopping for big girl's clothes. I got a whole new wardrobe plus a purse full of make up, some 45 records and a small record player. She taught me how to use make up better during our last two days in between our love making sprints.

We talked a lot about our feelings before she told me she was getting married and moving to San Diego with her kids and new husband. That didn't upset me that much but when she said this would be our last time together I couldn't help my tears so she held me in her arms for a long time. We made love one last time before she took me home. I put on my brave face but I was deeply hurt.

I was deeply depressed for most of the summer. My novels nor my rock and roll music could help raise my spirits. The only thing that helped was sex. I was only fourteen but it felt like the end of my life. Even now I find it hard to take so I stayed in my room by myself the biggest part of that sad summer of1965.

Shelly had gone with her mother to Michigan and Cathy wouldn't be next door at Sue's until the last month of school vacation.

I was finally able to be happy again when Cathy and Jimmy came to stay at their Aunt's house.

One night I was able to baby-sit them again, Cathy, Jimmy and I had a great love session together. Jimmy and I made love first and while he was doing it to Cathy I got full of meanness. I took my double dong, pulled aside my plastic panties and put one end in I then pulled aside his plastic panties and greased his rear and entered his butt hole with the other end of the dong. He didn't like it but with me on his back and Cathy holding from the front there wasn't much he could do about it. Before long it was feeling so good to him that we all got off. After a rest he did it to me while she banged him in the rear. I had insisted we wear plastic panties while we made love and it became a standard routine after that night.

When Jimmy couldn't get it up anymore Cathy and I made it with the double dong. Jimmy thought turn about, fair play and strapped on the single dong he greased my rear and put it in. He did the same to Cathy, although it was very painful more than I cared to admit. In fact I still enjoy it as long as there is another one in my pussy along with the one in my rear.

After Jimmy went to bed Cathy and I talked until her home and we had to fake sleep.

That year Sue gave Cathy more freedom as long as she was with me so we'd take long hikes into the hills and make love. I brought along plastic panties for both of us. The first time she somewhat surprised but went ahead and put them on. Later I explained my strange addiction to them and about my adventures with Ellen. She said it didn't turn her on or off but if that was what I liked it was fine with her. Somehow it didn't make me feel any better and around that time I developed quite a lot of guilt about my unusual desires.

Turning fifteen, my guilt increased so much that after getting off in my diapers and plastic panties or having sex in them I couldn't get them off fast enough and out of my sight. I got carried away one time and wet my diapers and afterwards threw them into the trashcan. Getting horny later I dug them out to wear only to toss them away again after I got off. This went on several days until the trashman hauled them away for good. I carried on this practice quite, a bit peeing in them then throwing them away. Sometimes I'd even poop in them first. I had to go to great lengths to keep myself in a fresh supply of diapers and plastic panties. At first spending most of my earnings and allowance on them before I discovered another way.

This new way not only kept me well supplied it was also very thrilling. Night raiding of the neighbourhood clotheslines was my new way. I had to go further each time though because as they began to miss their baby's diapers and plastic panties they'd make sure they collected them before dark. For reasons I couldn't understand these night raids brought me such great thrills. I sometimes couldn't wait until I got back home to wear my stolen diapers and plastic panties. Some of the plastic panties were so small they'd split down the seams as I'd squeeze into them. If I put them on before going home I'd masturbate in the nearest bushes then leave them there afterwards.

I got bolder and bolder almost as if I wanted to be caught. Taking bigger and bigger risks. I started carrying my dress under my arm just in case, hunting my prey stark naked. After pinning a diaper on and pulling a pair of plastic panties up I would poop in them as I stripped the rest of the clothesline. This got me so hot I'd squat down and try to poop in them while masturbating right under the line with the pile of my plunder beside me. I got some fantastic orgasms this way. I'd then slip out of my diapers and wipe the peepee and or poop off me with a fresh diaper. I'd hurry home with my loot leaving my mess behind me.

One night mother almost caught me sneaking back in the house, naked, through my bedroom window after a midnight raid so I stopped doing it for awhile as it was becoming to dangerous.

The summer of 1966 I had to say goodbye to Shelly. Her mother had married a guy from Oregon and they moved there to live. I would have missed her more but Cathy, her brothers and sister came to live permanently with their Aunt Sue next door so my grief was short lived. Cathy told me her parents were killed in a wreck but Sue said they were sent to prison. They had been forging payroll checks and the police had hauled away a garage full of groceries and found forty thousand dollars hidden in the house. It was a real shock to Sue, especially since they didn't share with her.

With Shelly gone, Cathy became my best friend. Spending almost all our free time together and staying overnight with each other often. Cathy was still in night diapers as well as the others. I kept some of my stolen diapers and plastic panties at her house and even though Sue didn't make me wear them at her place anymore when I stayed over I'd wear the fancy diaper and a pair of plastic panties.

Once when Cathy stayed over I took her on a night raid with me. We made love in wet diapers and plastic panties under someone's clothesline. She thought it very exciting but was too scared to do it again. She begged me not to do it anymore either so I didn't for a long time, but the lure was too strong and I took it back up.

Mother had pretty much stopped her incessant searching of my room. Thus I was able to wear my diapers all night long. I was always very careful to hide them in the morning. If I accidentally wet them I threw them away into the garbage or over the back fence in the neighbour's bushes. I didn't even give that a second thought. Never realising it could come back to haunt me one day.

That fall I started the eleventh grade and Cathy the tenth and my life was good. Then one day Daddy caught me masturbating in the bathroom wearing my diapers and plastic panties. Mother was taking night classes and Gary and Vicky were staying over with their friends. I was scared to death being caught. I couldn't even cry, just whimper. He stood there looking at me for a few minutes, frozen in my prone position, before he said, "Get up and come with me."

Meekly I followed him into my bedroom and sat down on the bed as he directed and realised I'd wet my diapers. He didn't say anything for awhile then he finally asked, "What do you thing I should do about your behaviour?"

"Whip me," I choked out. Tears already flowing freely.

"Whip you huh. What do you think your mother will say?" he asked without showing any emotion.

"You don't have to tell her do you?" I begged still hoping for a reprieve.

"I don't think I should keep it from her do you? You know she doesn't want you wearing diapers and plastic panties nor playing with yourself, don't you?" He asked.

"Yes... but..." I stammered not able to think of anything to say that would get me off the hook.

"STAND UP! LET ME GET THIS OVER WITH!" he commanded undoing his belt. "You can bend over the bed."

I stood up and started to pull down my diapers but he said, "You can leave your diapers on, just lean over and grab the edge of the bed."

I was already bawling before I got the first lick. After the fifth I was hollering, "Please Daddy, I won't do it no more... Please stop Daddy."

He didn't hit me anymore but before I could get up he grabbed me by the waist with one of his big hands and pulled aside my diapers and plastic panties with the other one.

"What are you doing DADDY?" I pleaded, as his fingers were busy probing my pussy.

"You don't want me to tell your mother do you?" he asked not even bothering to slow down.

"No… daddy…" I cried, I didn't want him to do what he was doing either.

"Then hush up and enjoy it" he said softly as he forced his huge pecker in me from behind.

"It... hurts... please don't... you're too big..." I begged with all my heart, even when I was beginning to like it.

"Relax it won't hurt for long then it will feel better than playing with yourself."

Soon I was really into it moving with him. Then he pulled it out without warning and shoved it in my butthole with such force I would have fallen to the floor if he hadn't been holding me. The pain was almost unbearable but between the squeezing of my titties and the rubbing of my diapered pussy I got an orgasm about the same time he did. I fell on the bed afterwards. He got in and covered us up. I don't remember going to sleep at all.

When I woke up in the morning my diapers were soaked and filled with poopee. It was Saturday so I got in the shower with them still on. I was cleaning myself up when I noticed blood in my diapers.

It wasn't my time of month so I was really scared until I discovered it was from my butt, which was more sore and tender than my pussy was. Naturally I had to dispose of my soiled diaper so I tossed it over the back fence.

Daddy was acting as if nothing unusual had happened and I couldn't get out of the house fast enough. My mind was in great turmoil over what he had done but I hated myself more for enjoying it with him, after all he was all father I'd ever known, stepfather or not, it didn't matter, why would he do such a thing? My heart was aching and I was full of guilt. Maybe it was my fault.

Things didn't get any better. Every Friday night after that he'd take me into his room and do exactly the same except for the spanking. Every Saturday was a repeat performance.

By the time school let out I couldn't stand it anymore so I ran away from home. I was caught that night and brought back home by a deputy sheriff. A week later I split again, this time I was gone two days before I was caught and returned home. Everyone wanted to know why I was running away from home but I couldn't tell them. I realise now that I was running from myself as much as from Daddy's unwanted attention.

CHAPTER IV LEAVING HOME

Fate had more in store for me though. I was called out of math class to the office one day but I had an idea why. The girls' principle showed me into her office and my heart almost stopped, standing there was a woman deputy sheriff, I couldn't understand why she was there.

"Miss Thacker, we have a complaint from some of your neighbours. They seem to think you have been involved in some petty thefts around the neighbourhood. What do you have to say about it?" asked the deputy as she eyed me.

"I don't know anything about any stealing," I answered, trying not to look guilty, but then I wasn't lying.

"They seem to think you do. They seem to think that you've been making nightly visits to their back yards and taking certain items off their clothes lines," she stated her eyes glued to my face.

While I was speaking she opened the briefcase on her lap and asked "Are you sure you don't know anything about someone stealing baby diapers and plastic pants from clothes lines. What do you know about these?" she asked while holding up a large sealed plastic bag for me to see.

I'm glad I wasn't standing I believe I would have fainted. I suddenly felt weak all over but managed to say, "I ... still ... don't know anything."

"Mrs Neil could you call in another witness," said the deputy to my principle.

"Miss Long, would you please come in my office a minute?" said Mrs. Neil over the intercom.

"You can stand up Donna and put your hands against the wall," demanded the deputy as Miss Long entered, "I'm going to have to search you."

I was starting to shake my nerves sending shivers down my spine and I leaned against the wall. She patted me down. After feeling my bulky bottom she raised my dress saying, "What do you have on yourself. Turn around and pull down your panties so we can see. I'll hold up your dress for you." Reluctantly I did it without speaking.

"Miss Thacker why in the world are you wearing diapers?" asked Mrs Neil. "Does your mother make you wear them?"

"No... I... I don't know..." I replied, seeing the startled faces of Mrs Neil and Miss Long. They were staring in disbelief at my diapers and plastic panties.

The deputy reached forward pulled open the waistband of my plastic panties and sticking her hand in touched my diapered crotch lightly. "You can straighten yourself up now. Did you just wet your diapers while I was questioning you?" she asked me softly but already knowing the answer.

"Yes," I said while I pulled up my panties not knowing what was going to happen to me but smart enough to know I was caught this time.

"Mrs. Neil, I think it would be a good idea if a search was conducted of Donna's locker. Would you and Miss Long witness it?" the deputy sheriff asked. "You will come along too, Miss Thacker."

"Just let me get the master keys and we'll be on our way," said Mrs Neil.

Miss Long the girls' vice-principle said, "I don't understand this a bit. Donna has never been a troublemaker. I would expect something like this from some of the other's but she's always been such a good girl until now."

"I understand from several statements this has been going on all year," stated the deputy.

"Why would you do such a dreadful thing Donna?" asked Miss Long.

"I... haven't..." I lied through my teeth.

She was still standing there shaking her head when Mrs Neil returned. A search of my locker revealed four pairs of plastic panties, one of which contained a pinned diaper in it.

The deputy sheriff handcuffed me and led me by the arm down the now crowded hallways to her waiting car. I hung my head as we passed a group of staring teenagers wondering what they thought was going on. Mrs Neil trailed behind us carrying the diapers and plastic panties taken from my locker. I wasdeep in the grip of a sense of doom.

It was a short ride to the local deputy sheriff's office. I was booked, photographed and fingerprinted and left in a detention room. Half an hour later I was escorted into another room where I was confronted by my mother and a lady deputy. After an hour of being questioned and threatened, mostly by mother, I was forced to stand in just my bra and diapers and plastic panties and be photographed.

Mother was so mad because I hadn't cracked yet that she left saying, "I'm washing my hands of the whole mess. You people should know how to handle a thief, I don't."

I was brought a hamburger and a coke while I waited in the detention room for three hours before I could be transported to Juvenile Hall in downtown Los Angeles.

I don't think I was ever more scared than I was than seeing the high concrete wall of Juvenile Hall. I could only stare in horror at the large glass and steel entrance. An officer took me into the door marked girls' saying that I should take a seat on the wooden bench.

About fifteen minutes later I heard a buzzer sound and the glass window opened beside me. A portly matron said, "You can come with me. What's her name Marsha?"

I followed the matron down a long hall past steel doors with tiny thick glass peepholes in them. At the end we went into a rather large shower room. There were three other teenage girls inside already.

"I want all of your girls to strip. You can lay your clothes on the bench behind you," said the matron.

Slowly I took off my shoes, hose, dress, slip, bra and panties but as I started to wiggle out of my diapers and plastic panties the matron nearest me said, "What is that you have on you girl'?"

Stepping forward for a better look she said, "DIAPER! Well, I'll be... Ah, don't take your DIAPERS off yet we'll have to take special care of a big baby like you. Just stand there and wait."

None of the other girls paid any attention to me. I guess they were too wrapped up in their own misery to care at the moment so I just stood there and watched them shower and dress after they were given disgusting examinations by the matrons. They were then led away in their white panties, bras and dull grey dresses by one of the matrons. I could hear their footsteps, keys being turned in heavy locks and steel doors slamming being echoed down the hall.

I was feeling light headed and could feel pee going into my soggy diaper and trickle down my legs. One minute I was standing there and the next I wasn't. I found myself on the floor with a matron sticking an ammonia capsule under my nose. I tried to separate my mind from the fog and rise up but the matron stopped me so I lay there wondering what had happened.

The nurse arrived at my side and took my pulse, blood pressure and temperature while she asked "Young lady why are you wearing these diapers? Do you have trouble holding your water or controlling your bowel movements or both? How do you feel now?"

I wasso dizzy and disoriented I couldn't answer her, just nod my head.

"Is your diaper wet or dirty?" she asked as she stuck her hand inside my plastic panties and felt them. "Oh, she's soaking wet. Mary help me get her out of these wet diapers and plastic panties and cleaned up. Maybe that will help her feel better."

Between them they managed to remove my diapers and shower me and then they bent me over a bench and probed both my openings for contraband. I don't know what they expected to find. A heavy flannel gown was pulled on over my head before they helped me down the hall to a tiny cell. The matron unlocked the door and I was put in the bed. The nurse sat in a chair beside the bed and the matron left only to reappear shortly. She was carrying a stack of' thick flannel diapers which she set on the nightstand beside me. With the help of the nurse they pinned a diaper on me and pulled on a large pair of white plastic panties before the other matron showed up with some heavy leather straps. One on each side, the matrons strapped my arms and legs to the bed. I hadn't noticed the nurse leaving but I remember her coming back in with a syringe in her hands.

"This is only for your own protection so you don't hurt yourself," she said as she rolled me slightly over and pulled aside my diapers and plastic panties and gave me a shot in the butt. I didn't really feel it. Things grew fuzzier and I soon didn't see anything.

I spent the next three days in a complete fog. I barely remember numerous diaper changes, more shots in my rear and being spoon-fed and many faceless people.

The fourth day the haze lifted some and by the fifth day I was pretty much back to normal, at least enough to know what was going on around me. They took off my restraints finally and I was helped up to get some exercise.

I answered all their question except the ones about wearing diapers. I couldn't even bring myself to think about it. All I could do was fill my diaper with peepee and poopee so they had no choice but to keep changing them. My whole world had been shaken and I couldn't face it or myself.

I stayed two more weeks in that dull grey room. I spent most of my time staring out my barred and screened window at the outside world wishing I was out there instead. I ate my food without tasting it and let myself be submitted to frequent diaper checks and changes. I was kept in just my diaper, plastic panties and a nightgown the whole time. I couldn't and didn't think about masturbating myself even once. I had become almost a zombie. They gave me a pill three times a day and before bedtime. The nurse was always saying, "These will make you feel better." But they didn't of course. The nurse and matrons were over friendly and doing their best to cheer me up.

I'd smile but otherwise I ignored them. I didn't care for the doctor who came in once a day to probe me with questions.

Finally one morning I was given a grey dress, white socks, a white bra and a pair of white panties and brown shoes to wear. After lunch I was taken through a series of locked corridors and an overpass to a long wide hallway which was lined with hard wooded chairs across from a lot of wooden door. The matron and I sat outside a door marked six. I saw that most of the chairs were filled with kids and their guards both boys and girls. A deputy opened the number six door from the inside and called us into the courtroom. I was seated in front of a stern looking judge and the charges were read. My lawyer who I'd never seen pleaded me 'Not Guilty'. I was charged with twenty-three counts of petty theft. Statements were read from neighbours and other witnesses. I remember one such statement it said something like 'Several times baby diapers and plastic panties were missing from my clothes line in the morning and one time I found a wet and soiled diaper and ripped pairs of plastic panties under the line. After that I made sure I took in all my baby's things before dark'.

Three plastic bags were displayed containing wet and soiled diapers and plastic panties along with the picture of me in diapers as evidence. The judge ended it by binding me over for trial.

It was two hours later and I was once again alone in my room.

I couldn't think of it as a room, to me it was a cell. What was most amazing to me was all the fuss being made over a few missing diapers and plastic panties. I had to stop thinking about it because I couldn't change it a bit.

Not knowing what else to do with me they transferred me to the children's ward the next morning. In a way I was sorry to leave the infirmary for I'd gotten used to the routine. This new ward was for girls between six and nine and about half of them were bedwetters and in night diapers. I was the only one in them full time. The other wards didn't use diapers just plastic sheets and the bedwetters had to change their own wet beds.

That Saturday mother paid me a visit. She brought me some romance novels and candy bars but we didn't talk much. Neither one of us being able to break the silence between us. She went to see my doctor afterwards.

I didn't have anything to say to any of the other girls not really having anything in common with them so I stayed to myself watching the TV absently, not really seeing it. I couldn't even read my books. We were taken out to the yard once a day but I'd just sit on the grass and watch the others play. Three times a day we were marched in a column of two to the dining hall and this was the extent of my activities.

Twenty of the girls slept in the dorm while me and six others slept in single rooms. The rooms were supposedly for punishment but I preferred one to the dorm. They were small affairs with each containing only a bed, a nightstand and a radiator for heat. All the windows were covered with bars and a heavy thick screen; it wasn't easy to see out.

Certain privileges were awarded to the good girls who co-operated with the system; I was not one of them because I wouldn't go along with their crude attempts of trying to potty train me. The more they tried the more I resisted and withdrew into myself. This forced them to keep changing my diapers. They even tried leaving them off me during the day for three days but after having to clean up peepee and poopee off me and the floor several times a day they put me back into diapers full time and stopped trying to potty train me.

A month after my first court appearance I went back for my trial. It was basically a repeat of the first one except for the people who testified against me in the statements were now there in person. I was found guilty of course.

The judge said, "I wanted to give you one years probation but in view of your current mental state I can't. I have no other choice but to send you to the State Hospital for a ninety-day period first. My hands are tied in this."

It was funny but I didn't see anything in his hands.

I didn't have any idea what this hospital was until two weeks later when I was sent to the Metropolitan State Hospital in Newalk California. In my opinion being sixteen and in the nut house is the most horrible experience short of being kidnapped, raped or tortured. I hope I never see one ever again...

A FURTHER NOTE

If you want to read the rest of my story it will be continued in my second book. All I have to do is type it up and mail it toFlorence. I hope you weren't bored too much or that I didn't make it too heavy but I did my best to make my past experiences interesting enough for you to keep plowing through it.

I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. The second part will be the years from 1967to 1987. I have finally, in this later time of my life come to accept myself the way I am instead of just trying to figure out why I'm the way I am.

Now I'm declaring to the world that I'm an adult baby girl who loves wearing baby diapers and plastic panties, sucking on pacifiers and baby bottles, wearing a baby bib while eating baby food, sleeping in a baby crib, being a baby and most of all peepeeing and pooping in my diapers and plastic panties.

And since I'm over twenty-one I don't care who doesn't like it because I'm not going to try to change it for no one, anymore.