Upon entering the massive building in the old industrial
park, it’s somewhat disconcerting to see the entrance to a huge funeral home.
The body of a hanged man twitches above the boarded up front door and ghostly
spirits appear and disappear in a front window. Through the layer of fog that
drifts throughout the building, a coffin is seen to be thrashing wildly in an
alcove to the right. In sharp contrast to the macabre goings-on are scenes of
people having a good time-taking pictures in a ‘zombie panel’, playing video
games, dropping quarters into a variety of arcade machines, dressing up with
provided props for ‘haunt pictures’, and checking out bizarre little creatures
in a gift shop. All of this can be seen in the lobby of Scream Acres Ct, the
new Covington based haunt that seems to be putting the ‘Fun’ into ‘Funeral’!

Scream Acres is the dream project of 18 year old Ryan
Thierauf. Ryan’s been haunting since he was eight, creating elaborate yard
haunts that slowly got bigger and bigger, swallowing up more and more of his
family’s property. Last season he decided to make the transition to becoming a
professional, but ran into problems with local officials who decided the event
had gotten too big and pulled the plug on it. The season wasn’t a complete
loss-he was able to spend some time working at the Dent Schoolhouse and observe
their creative and business model, and provided décor and scares for Scallywag
Tag’s Halloween laser tag events. “Even though the season didn’t turn out as we
had hoped, we were grateful to Scallywag for giving us the opportunity to put
on a show”, says Ryan.

Of course, this only delayed the dream. In July Ryan
finalized a deal on the old Johnny’s Toys warehouse in Covington and began the
daunting task of putting together a haunt from the ground up in a 20,000 square
foot warehouse in a little under two months. As you can see by the ‘in progress’
photo above, there was a tremendous amount of work involved just getting the
walls and mazes set up. There were a lot of fifteen hour days in the blazing
summer heat, with many overnight stays at the haunt involved in getting things
ready. Ryan credits Matt Glass (who’s currently staffing the entrance to the
haunt) with doing the lion’s share of the build and getting everything ready on
time. And finish it they did, getting the Castle Hill Funeral Home, The
Funhouse In 3-D, and Blackout ready for their September 13th
opening. Scream Acres uses a slightly different approach than most
events-rather than separate the three events, they’re all part of the same
tour, entered one after the other. Ryan explains that this was done for several
reasons, the primary one being that they didn’t want to make hauntgoers wait in
line three times. It makes for an interesting experience as each section of the
tour has a completely different feel-Castle Hill is a more detailed haunt with
scripted performances and gore, the Funhouse is all about the eye-popping 3-D (3-D
glasses are provided) and frenzied Klown antics, and Blackout is a dark maze
with a more subdued and sinister atmosphere.

The Castle Hill Funeral Home has a lobby, viewing room,
dining room, kitchen, bedroom, garage, and a handy crematorium. Remember, morticians (especially in the past) would very often live in their Funeral Homes, so they would have every room a normal house would have (something a lot of haunts don't seem to realize). Virtually every
room has one of Dr. Boron’s victims, either showing the results of his
handiwork or fearfully awaiting his assault. Whether they’re chained to walls,
tied up on a couch, or vainly trying to escape from the crematorium furnace,
each bears the Doctor’s mark of a carved smile on their face. Dr. Boron makes
several appearances, wearing the skinned face of a victim as he carries out
vicious assaults on the cowering girls. And how many haunts can pull off a
killer rabbit? A giant, gore-soaked stuffed bunny sits in the corner of a
little girl’s bedroom (the doctor’s daughter?). As the girl moves near the
rabbit, it grabs her struggling form and drags her off through a curtained
alcove. It doesn’t seem Bugs was happy with his catch of the day, since he
appears shortly thereafter looking to add a random hauntgoer to his tally… The
Funeral Home ends with a tunnel that’s home to several local yokels, and leads
to…

The Funhouse in 3-D. It features some extremely well done 3-D
artwork that comes to vibrant life with the glasses. It makes many of the
Klowns extremely hard to spot as many wear outfits that blend in with the
designs on the wall. It’s a surreal sight to see a part of the wall detach
itself, flip over, and go bounding away! They’re an energetic bunch that come
and go quickly, one minute being your bestest enemy and the next your worstest
pal. And then there’s the legendary flying Klown…

Blackout is a small black maze that relies on the ability of
its actors to keep hauntgoers groping around in circles. We found it to be the
creepiest part of the haunt with whispers coming from all angles and corners.
We also had one of the actors following directly behind us the entire time-one
of the most effective nerve-wracking techniques a haunt actor can use. You
never know what that crazy guy right behind might have in mind…but you can bet
it won’t be good! Upon finally finding the exit, an unseen actress chilled our
blood by whispering in our ear, “I’ll miss you…”. Brrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! And as you
leave the building it looks like the tour isn’t quite over, as there’s a small building
straight ahead…

Many of the actors inside Scream Acres are students at the School
for Creative and Performing Arts (Ryan’s also a recent grad). Under the
direction of Production Manager Lucas Clark, they combine dramatic technique
with some impressive physical abilities, energizing the haunt with unique
performances not seen anywhere else. The very first performance sets the tone
for the whole event-a young actress relates to hauntgoers the story of Dr.
Boron. Yes, the same name as the street Scream Acres is located on-seems odd
that Latonia decided to name a street after a mass murderer, but hey, maybe he’s
family or something. The not-so-good doctor opened the Castle Hill Funeral Home
in 1940, but local residents began to disappear at an alarming rate. Three
years later a police investigation found 42 bodies stacked in the Castle Hill
basement-each heavily mutilated and with a smile carved onto their face. Dr.
Boron was never apprehended and some believe he still haunts the boarded-up
funeral home…The actress delivering the
speech has an insane grin and gives a flawless delivery, punctuating it with
pauses and emphasis in all the right spots. She’s constantly moving throughout
the speech, circling behind hauntgoers and making them wonder just what she’s
up to. The same actress appears several times along the tour’s path, and it’s
amazing how she seems to be able to enter the room unseen to pop out from under
a table or appear from the opposite direction of a hall. Most impressively, she
at one point scales the walls like a spider! Another actress strides the length
of the hallway in an inverted ‘V’ position, an incredibly creepy effect that
our photo at the top of the page doesn’t do justice to. We’ve already mentioned
the upside-down kamouflage klowns. As one staffer comments, “Many of them are
trained in dance and that really comes in handy with the physical stuff”. They’re
a multi-talented bunch that turned in memorable performances.

One of the young actors, Hana Duncan, is currently staffing
the event’s 'sideshow', the ‘Buried Alive’ coffin ride simulator. Featuring
a crisp, sharp looking vampiric makeup job, she also at various times acts
inside the event and helps apply makeup to other actors. The coffin ride can either
be taken by itself or purchased as part of a combo ticket with the main haunt.
Upon entering the coffin, the lid is slammed shut and the dearly departed are
treated to the sounds and shakes of the last ride…the trip from the funeral
home to the cemetery. The coffin bounces and shakes as it simulates being
dropped by the idiot gravediggers, slides around the back of the hearse on
rough roads, and is thrown into an open grave. You’ll also be treated to
gravedigger humor as the pair crack jokes throughout the ride. Hana says that
while no one has freaked out inside the blackness of the coffin yet, there have
been several people who had tickets for it that looked at its yawning mouth and
refused to enter!

Scream Acres also has its share of veteran haunt actors. One
of these is Demonic Derek (formerly of The Dungeons of Delhi). Derek is
appearing as ‘Dexter the Clown’ inside the 3-D maze. Using the event’s colorful
eye-popping geometric shapes, he’s currently leading hauntgoers in his oddball
version of Twister. Not far away in the burlap maze between the Funeral Home
and the Funhouse might be the longest-tenured haunt actor in town-Perry Mattan.
Perry appears as ‘Pa’, the old country boy with the bashed in forehead. He’s
acted in haunts across the United States for 40 years or more, getting his
start in the late 1970’s at the WKRC Haunted House in Northgate Mall (an event
that was held in a free-standing prefabricated two story building in the mall’s
court). Perry has just returned from a promotional appearance at Quaker Steak & Lube, handing out flyers
while providing a taste of Scream Acres for the diners there. Perry’s an
enthusiastic haunt ambassador and loves nothing more than being the cause of…well,
let’s just say, unanticipated and sudden bowel movements. Ryan’s going to be
mounting a scoreboard over the weekend on the Funeral Home’s façade for Perry
to keep track of the ‘accidents’.

And as Matt tells us, Perry’s also the resident expert on
the ghosts that are said to have taken up residence in the building. Now, while
it might seem far-fetched that there would be ghosts in an old warehouse, Perry
explains that they might be from the time when the old Latonia horse race track
was located on the grounds. “They’re not sure exactly where the track was
located-if it wasn’t here, it was right on the border. There seem to be three
spirits-two men and a woman. They’ve been heard in the garage, the living room,
and the bedroom of the Funeral Home”, he expounds. The sounds of horses running
have also been a regular occurrence. Matt says that a psychic recently visited
the event and independently came up with the same conclusions Perry did!

While many kids feel that their parents don’t understand
them, this doesn’t appear to be the case with Ryan. His mother, Kimmie
Thierauf, has been an active participant in his haunting career from day one.
She’s currently taking photos in the Scream Acres gift shop. Not only can you
have a souvenir photo taken at Scream Acres with the Funeral Home as a
background, but they provide a big variety of props for you to use-AND turn you
into a semi-transparent ghost to boot! The HOD!!! draped ourselves with several
lengths of chain and sported a machete along with a large bloody rat (your
basic ‘F13 7’ look) and the photo turned out great! Kimmie also provides many
of the cute and unique items being sold in the gift shop-her contributions are
under the ‘Ghoulish Googlies’ banner of ‘Kimmie’s Clay Kreations’. You can also find items from other local artists such as can o’lanterns
and voodoo dolls. We picked up a little nurse voodoo doll for our wife to hang
on her cell phone. Ryan also told us his mom painted all the detail in the 3-D
Funhouse. We had commented to him earlier that it looked like he had contracted
a pro to come in and do the 3D work, so his mom is quite the creative lady.

Scream Acres has garnered its share of attention, being the
subject of two features on TV’s WKRC Channel 12 and WLWT Channel 5 and appearing
on radio station WLW. We’ve already mentioned some of the promotional
appearances, and the event is running ads in CityBeat magazine and on radio
station 96 Rock. Unlike a lot of first year events that neglect their
advertising budget, Scream Acres was committed to getting the word out and
making sure local hauntgoers knew about their haunt.

Since the event will be occupying the old warehouse
year-round, they’ve looked into using it for other purposes in the off-season.
While there are no firm plans yet, they’ve considered making it into an airsoft
arena as well as holding a macabre Christmas themed event. The latter would be
somewhat of a first in the area. The Dent Schoolhouse at one time (in the days
before the current group of owners) held a straight Christmas themed event on
their second floor using an elaborate display they acquired from a local
department store. The old Night of Fright had considered trying out a “Nightmare
Before Christmas” type event but it never materialized. Perhaps Tristate
haunters can look forward to a ‘Black Christmas’ this Yuletide season!

The event also made the wise decision to not try building a
huge haunt that they wouldn’t have time to properly finish in the two month
time frame. This accomplished two things-it meant that the areas of the haunt
that were built were well done with a good amount of detail, and also leaves
them plenty of room to expand. Looking at the façade of the event, it appears
it takes up the entire back of the warehouse, but there are large areas still
open. Ryan’s already made plans to add a hospital area for next season (making
it a ‘second building’ with its own façade) as well as expanding the 3D
Funhouse all the way to the back. There’s also a lot of space in the lobby that
could be used in the future, and as Ryan reminds us, “We also have a lot of
land out back that we can use”. For now, much of the unused space is filled
with arcade machines and games (including the excellent ALIENS shooter) to give
hauntgoers additional distractions.

Ryan’s rise to becoming a professional haunter-long time elaborate
yard haunt, acquisition of a year round building, aided by parent-sounds quite
a bit like another local haunter success story. That of course would be Josh
Wells and Bud Stross up at Dent, who followed much the same path. One hopes
that Ryan finds as much success as they did! With Dr. Boron’s attempts to put
the ‘Fun’ into ‘Funeral’ by carving his trademark smiles, Scream Acres Ct is
having an impressive first season, and with an entire year to work on the
event, should have an even more amazing 2014!

Wallflower

Not Only Did This Terrific Young Actress Deliver A Great Opening Speech,

She Also Climbs The Walls Like A Spider!

And Speaking Of Walls...

It's The Upside-Down Kamouflage Klown!

2013 EVENT INFORMATION

Scream Acres Ct is located at 4314 Boron Drive, Covington, KY 41015 in the old Johnny’s Toys store. It is open Thursday through Sunday from September 13th through November 2nd (not open Thursdays in September). Hours are 7 PM-Midnight on
Fridays and Saturdays, and 7 PM-10 PM
Thursdays and Sundays. Regular ticket prices are $20 for a combo ticket
(walk through and coffin ride), $30 VIP combo ticket (walk through and
coffin ride with no waiting), $16 for a haunt only ticket and $6 for the
Buried
Alive coffin ride. Group discounts available by calling 513-703-7384.
Want to volunteer as an actor? Email Ryan at ryanATcincyscreams.com
(replacing AT with @). For more information email
contactATcincyscreams.com (replacing AT with @), visit Scream Acres
on Facebook or Twitter, call (513) 703-7384, or visit the Scream Acres website.