right blue smoke = oil
white = water/coolant
dark/brown = fuel
am i right?
is there anything else that blue would be, white would be, but most importantly dark smoke /brown smoke will be as that's what the bm is pumping out the exhaust (brown)

ok got me girls dad to come see it, he fitted me in. basically he reckons head gasket is gone, and that the amount of water/steam getting into exhaust is basically decoking the inside of exhaust and that's why it's dirty as it's basically steam cleaning the exhaust!
lets hope its just that and not a cracked head.