7

8

8.8

8.7

9.1

.530

.549

12.5%

14.6%

27.1%

-5.9%

-8.8%

Fernando Rodneyís cap is actually a sundial, which he keeps askew to help time himself to the plate.

2

11

5

9.7

10.1

10.1

.567

.548

26.0%

19.9%

45.9%

-4.4%

2.3%

Last night the Brewers used four pitchers. Here are their ERAs: 1.46, 27.00, 3.18, 27.00. I have a radical suggestion.

3

8

8

8.0

7.4

7.1

.492

.512

11.2%

13.2%

24.4%

-4.3%

-0.4%

Headline in Blue Jays Magazine: "'Why is Jose Bautista so mean to me,' says a baseball"

4

7

9

6.0

7.0

7.2

.485

.505

25.4%

19.5%

44.9%

-4.2%

-15.2%

If the Rays trade David Price mid-pitch, what happens?

5

9

7

8.3

7.6

8.2

.532

.512

51.4%

16.1%

67.5%

-3.1%

-13.3%

The Nationals made four errors last night. Actually, five, if you count letting you read this comment.

6

10

6

9.2

8.4

8.1

.551

.531

23.4%

39.4%

62.9%

-2.9%

4.7%

Hunter Pence is hitting the most awkward-looking .206/.296/.317 ever.

7

10

5

9.6

10.8

10.6

.593

.573

34.7%

20.4%

55.1%

-2.7%

14.9%

B.J. Upton has a .242 on-base percentage, which if you squint really hard, take a handful of sedatives, inject yourself with horse tranquilizers, and then run full speed into a brick wall, isnít so bad.

8

7

8

8.6

8.5

8.3

.541

.561

28.7%

23.7%

52.4%

-2.4%

-1.7%

The Angels are 9-for-9 in steal attempts, which includes a package of Tastykakes thieved from the Aís dressing room.

9

7

8

7.2

6.7

7.0

.475

.495

14.0%

9.0%

23.0%

-2.2%

0.2%

If you arrange the Indians' starting lineup in reverse order of batting average, thatís kinda their starting lineup. Iím on to you, Terry Francona.

10

8

8

8.1

8.6

8.6

.497

.517

12.8%

7.1%

20.0%

-1.4%

0.2%

You know the White Sox bullpen is struggling when their worst pitcher is not the middle infielder who pitched in the 14th inning.

11

7

9

6.8

7.2

7.3

.473

.453

3.4%

14.7%

18.0%

-1.4%

-0.1%

The Padres have given up the fewest homers in baseball, so see? Signing Josh Johnson has worked out perfectly!

12

6

10

8.1

8.1

8.2

.452

.432

0.8%

1.1%

1.8%

-0.5%

-2.6%

They say Giancarlo Stanton doesnít get cheated on his swings, and itís true. In fact, he gets a 10 percent discount from the Marlins on each one.

13

4

10

5.5

5.6

5.7

.412

.393

1.1%

1.9%

3.0%

-0.4%

-2.2%

The Cubs have hit a league-leading nine hitters because losing make Cubs angry!