Here’s a set of rules for a spanking poker game. The scoring is a bit complicated, but perhaps worth the trouble; it looks as if the usual unfairnesses of playing poker for forfeits (if you’ve ever played strip poker you’ll know what I mean) are avoided, making for a game that’s probably fun as a game as well as for the forfeits.

If you’re old-fashioned like me and think the girls should get all the spankings, I suggest cheating; choose a light implement that works best on bare skin, deprive the ladies present of their clothing, and have the men keep their pants on. (Be prepared to hear squawking when you implement this minor rules change.)

Who needs chips and fancy scoring? Just betting spanks works pretty well. And, as for the girls getting all the spankings, well, my man is better than I am at Texas Hold’em. I’ve got the rosy bottom to prove it!