Monday, June 13, 2011

Time for my annual Tony Award Show review, or, for the 99.99% of you who didn’t watch it – a recap of what you missed. I’m joined by my adorable snarky daughter Annie and her twisted writing partner, Jon Emerson.

I had a rooting interest in the program this year. Several friends were up for awards. Bill & Cheri Steinkellner for the book of SISTER ACT (lost), John Benjamin Hickey for Best Supporting actor (won!), and Andrew Rannells for best actor in a musical (lost). Andrew, however, sang the featured song from THE BOOK OF MORMON and I think the four of you who saw the show will agree that he’s going to be a huge star. Proud to say he starred in the musical I co-wrote that went nowhere and the reading of my play that went nowhere.

Meanwhile, over on ABC, the Dallas Mavericks won the NBA Finals. But if you know who Nina Arianda is and not Dirk Nowitzki, you were watching the Tonys.

Usually I say the Tonys are the only award show where no one thanks their wives. This year, with THE BOOK OF MORMON there was the chance that winners would thank many wives. But not so. That would require Mormons to actually be involved.

THE BOOK OF MORMON won every award except the one I wanted it to win – Andrew’s. Norbert Leo Butz got that prize and I’m sure he was very deserving but shit! He never collaborated with me on any theater projects that went nowhere.

My guess is Andrew and fellow cast member Josh Gad split the votes.

The Tonys are still the only major award show that is tape-delayed for the West Coast. But considering it will take three years for the winning shows to get to the West Coast, three hours is no big whoop. Besides, everyone was watching the basketball game anyway.

Usually the ceremony is held at Radio City Music Hall. This year’s venue was the much cozier Beacon Theatre. So for the first time, the CBS television audience will be larger than the attending audience.

Neil Patrick Harris is the best awards host EVER. His opening number was hilarious. “Broadway is Not Just For Gays Anymore”. Of course, as Annie pointed out, five minutes later they did a production number called “The Brotherhood of Men” (from HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS).

One thing we learned last night: NEVER use Brook Shields on a live show. What a disaster. She completely bollixed her four-line stanza in the opening number and then as a presenter had to be bleeped. I’m sure another twelve seconds on camera and her nipple would have popped out.

Favorite lyric in Harris’ opening number – “Come in and be inspired/No sodomy required”. I’m only sorry those weren’t Brook Shields’ lines.

Say what you will about the Tonys -- they are for Gays… and Jews. And most people have never heard of any of the shows or performers – but there is always more actual entertainment in their ceremony than all the other award shows combined. I find it a little odd that 30 million people will watch Bristol Palin clomp around like a Clydesdale on DANCING WITH THE STARS but eight people tune in to see the finest singers and dancers in musical comedy perform magnificent production numbers.

In pre-show non-televised ceremonies, Eve Ensler, who wrote THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES received a special award for her humanitarian efforts and for reminding us that Broadway is firmly committed to social change and vaginas.

John Leguizamo is painfully unfunny. He’s the George Lopez of Broadway. Awards for Choreography and Best Score weren’t deemed important enough to air in primetime but it was okay to give this enemy of comedy ten minutes of precious air time. When he was finished they cut to a shot of Chris Rock in the audience who spoke for all of America when he mouthed, “What the fuck?”

Samuel L. Jackson, in his white jacket, black slacks, and white shoes came dressed perfectly for the occasion – if the occasion was the shuffleboard championships on the Lido Deck of the Crystal Serenity.

A big winner was the very deserving THE NORMAL HEART (a gut wrenching play about AIDS) and the big surprise later in the evening was the cast reunion of PRICILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT. Maybe they should have saved that “Broadway is not just for Gays anymore” number for another year.

Mark Rylance won for best actor in JERUSELEUM. But he would have won for LA BETE had he put that one up instead. One of the greatest comic performances I have ever seen.

He also gives the most unique speeches. For the second time he just read a prose poem. This one on how to walk through walls.

Thank God Al Pacino didn’t win. I don’t think I could have endured another of his rambling incoherent acceptance babbles. I’m still trying to figure out what he was saying at the 2004 Emmys.

Nikki James from THE BOOK OF MORMON gave the most frenetic speech. When she launched into some incomprehensible story about bumblebees five minutes in, I found myself yelling “Get off! GET OFF!” It’s like the first minute I’m thrilled for these people, the second minute I start getting antsy, and by minute four I want them off the stage even they’re in the middle of thanking me.

Still, the most emotional moment of the night was when Sutton Foster (who I absolutely love) almost broke down because her long-time dresser gave notice. I’d say folks in the Red States might click off at this point but who are we kidding? They were gone by the sodomy joke.

Winner Ellen Barkin gets the “Diva” award for the speech by an actor who takes themselves the most seriously. Her speech, delivered without a trace of irony, included all of the following words and phrases: profound, transformed me as a human being, one person can change the world, genius, Atlas, bravest. What she didn’t do was thank her children.

Patti LuPone was nominated for WOMAN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. Annie observed, “She was nominated for playing herself?”

No one was happier that WAR HORSE won Best Play than the CBS censor. One of the other nominees was THE MOTHERFUCKER WITH THE HAT. I can only imagine if that had won.

Off-stage announcer, Randy Thomas was, as usual, flawless. She should announce every award show, be the voice of my GPS, and give the starting line-ups at Yankee Stadium.

In an attempt to capture a larger audience, the presenters were all TV or movie personalities. The Tonys this year was a “No Nathan Lane Zone”. Instead you had Brook Shields, Jim Parsons, Chris Rock (who was hysterical), Marg Helgenberger, Christy Brinkley (for crying out loud), and Karl Marx. (Huh? Oh. That was Robin Williams?) I’m surprised they didn’t have Mr. Ed introduce WAR HORSE.

Whoopi Goldberg came out wearing a pirate hat the size of Lichtenstein. She really needed it because she wasn’t overbearing and over-the-top enough.

For the first time in the 65-year history of the Tony Awards, they waited a full two hours before the Sondheim tribute number.

Annie wondered why Bono and The Edge introduced their own song (from the musical SPIDERMAN), and Jon said, “Because no one else would sign the waiver”.

Sick joke alert but I laughed: When Tyne Daly was introducing the In Memoriam segment and saying the theater lost many great people this year, Jon chimed in with, “Yeah, and half the cast of SPIDERMAN”.

Frances McDormand must’ve known she was going to win. She wore her best Levi jacket. Maybe next time she’ll also wash her hair.

The show concluded with another amazing Neil Patrick Harris musical re-cap. Whoever writes these intricate numbers (obviously on the fly) is brilliant and how Harris can perform them live with no rehearsal is beyond me. All I could think was – oh please, next year let Brook Shields host.

While Wade was playing soccer with the ball and LeBron thought it would be a great day to test if he could throw the ball up, over, and behind the ring without touching anything (magical!) Dirk put it in!

MVP!

Wearing that Mavs cap I bought in Dallas in 2003 and never wore before worked! Finally!

This is the second best reason to be a Mormon...the first being that when you die, you get to be the God of your own universe (the males, that is...females ust marry a God and churn out the population of His universe).

Great piece, Ken! I'm going to NYC in a few weeks with tickets to Book of Mornon. Can't wait!

Thanks for posting the link to the opening number, Charles. That was fantastic! Except for Brooke's idiotic screw-up, which at least showed off NPH's remarkable ability to save the show in a charmingly entertaining way.

Oddly, I must have been one of the eight who were watching the Tony's and when Mark Rylance began his speech I said to my wife, "He's reciting Louis Jenkins again. Don't they have any Wisconsin poets (Jenkins is from Minnesota and Rylance is from Wisconsin)?

And for those of you who care (maybe half of the eight), here's Louis Jenkins reading "The Back Country" http://blog.thinfilms.org/tag/louis-jenkins/ the poem Rylance recited when he won the Tony in 2008 and here's an audio link to "Walking Through a Wall" http://www.louisjenkins.com/Louis_Jenkins/Poems.html the poem Rylance spoke when he won last night.

You nailed it, Ken. Monica and I loved the show, and your review took me back to one of my best "Awards Show Evenings" ever. I wish Comcast offered a "bars and tone channel," so I would have some meaningful alternative programming when it's time for the CMT Awards, DWTS and the other "awards" shows.

Leo Norbert Butz is a hilarious performer. He previously won for "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" - look on youtube for his performance of "Great Big Stuff". Because, Ken, if you wrote lyrics like "The fashion plate I date will give me hummers in my Hummer" your performaers would win Tonys, too.

I know i'm out of step with the rest of the country on this, but, i just don't get Neil Patrick Harris. He comes across as a guy who thinks he's really funny, but, just...isn't. Like that guy who plays 'Chuck'. NPH just seems a bit like a Matthew Perry re-tread to me...

That said, he's really talented. Good actor, great singer, confident, etc... I just don't know why people think he's HILAAAARIOUS.

Ken, you're right, though. I don't know how Dancing with the Stars gets high ratings and the Tony's gets soccer numbers. Unreal.

On Bono & The Edge...I was impressed that they were able to poke fun at the Spider-Man musical and at themselves...I've never thought of Bono as being particularly self-effacing. Also, whenever they were shown in the audience, they really seemed to be enjoying the show.

Missed a good chunk of the first hour (as Laurel and Hardy were on TCM) but did tune in to most of the rest of the show and was pleasantly surprised. You make an excellent point about the quality of the singing and dancing that a good chunk of viewers miss out on.

Wonder what was going on with Frances McDormand, who looked like she had just spent a week driving around and sleeping in a VW bus.

Since I don't care about the NBA and am too far from Broadway to have any interest in the Tonys, I took a nap that evening. When I woke up I worked on my jigsaw puzzle, which is very difficult. Thank you for taking the time to tell me what I missed, Ken.

Thank God. I thought I was just imagining most of my dismay at those weird speeches (and Frances's awful jacket - was she on her way to McDonalds when she turned to Ethan and said - "Cripes, the Tony Awards are tonight!")

Love this quote, Ken: "I find it a little odd that 30 million people will watch Bristol Palin clomp around like a Clydesdale on DANCING WITH THE STARS but eight people tune in to see the finest singers and dancers in musical comedy perform magnificent production numbers." So true!

And enjoyed this recap a lot. GREAT year for the Tonys.

FYI, Lin-Manuel Miranda (Tony winner for writing/starring in In the Heights) wrote those end-credit lyrics. That guy is amazing.

Norbert Leo Butz won because he plays the Tom Hanks role from the movie -- and Tom Hanks has to win everything.

Didn't John Larroquette win so many Emmys for "Night Court" that he finally took himself out of the running? That must be what he was referring to when he went on about getting more honors than he deserves.

Not only were there a lot of TV stars in the show, but especially a lot of CBS stars. Is that because the network airing the show gets to choose some of the participants (as other awards on Fox and ABC seem to)? Or is it just that CBS is the network for middle-class tourists and old people -- Broadway's real mainstay audience?

Chris Rock "hysterical"? I'd use another adjective that also begins with "h." Barely 24-hrs. after having reversed his defense of Tracy Morgan's endorsement of murdering one's gay son, Rock couldn't resist ending the broadcast by pitting for millions of Tony Awards viewers his attending a basketball game ["butch heterosexuality"] against an evening with Nathan Lane ["nelly faggotry"]. Anyone so concerned about affirming his straight masculinity might want to avoid being such an asshole. Is he producing another movie exploiting black homophobia as his rewrite of the British film "Death at a Funeral" did? We humbly suggest, Mr. Rock, that you have someone read to you the life of Bayard Rustin, mentor to Martin Luther King, Jr., and learn how you'd be lucky to be sweeping the stage rather than on it were it not for a gay black man.

Well, sure, I watched the Tonys and not the NBA finals. It was another fine evening of entertainment.

Nice review, Ken. However, here's when I DID switch the channel to the NBA finals: Whenever the winner went on and on and on and on until my ass squirmed far too much in my easy chair and I simply HAD to get away from them as fast as I could.

It wasn't just one winner, as you mentioned in your review, it was many winners who blathered on too long that I screamed out loud, and reached for the remote.

CBS censors were also annoying - and also had me screaming at the TV. Hey, maybe the Tonys weren't all that dissimilar to being a Miami Heat fan watching the finals - lotta screamin' at TVs Sunday night.

Loved NPH as usual - he does such a fine job with these shows, as does Hugh Jackman - so I did enjoy their "sing-off."

Poor Brooke. I could picture her confabing with her husband (or Lin-Manual) after her major gaff as to what to say once she presented an award - and you know, I think it worked. Made us laugh at her laughing at herself.

And as for Frances - nothing says "I don't really give a fuck about awards shows" better than a beat up jeans jacket and bed-head.

The opening number is friggin' hilarious; Neil Patrick Harris was terrific - even faced with Brooke Shield's slow car-crash, he was in total control.

I used to see Mark Rylance in his tights and codpiece, giving it the old Shakespearean vibe at the Globe Theatre in London. Who knew that he had such phenomenal comedy chops as well? The guy's amazing.

When Stern is gone and the Sonics return to Superdom, I'll consider watching the NBA again. And, when I have access and the financial wherewithal to attend Broadway shows, I'll be concerned with the Tonys. Till then, I'll by-pass both in favor of whatever re-runs are clogging Sunday night TV...last night, 2 hrs. of Soap. Richard Mulligan, what a great comic actor!

Hey "Michael"- Yeah, let's supress any form of free speech that YOU (or other special interest groups) find "unsuitable", why don't we...that last line you wrote was quite telling, almost sounds like wishful (group)thinking on your part...

Thank you for writing THE funniest, most succinct review of the Tonys telecast. The Bristol Palin - Clydesdale comment is hilarious. We've linked your blog to ours...and we're now devoted fans of your site.

P.S. For what it's worth, I thought that Mark Rylance was the only person in Tony history to successfully "pull off" the difficult task of summing up his play in that horrid segment where actors/puppet horses are forced to describe their play in 45 seconds or less...

Thank you for writing THE funniest, most succinct review of the Tonys telecast. The Bristol Palin - Clydesdale comment is hilarious. We've linked your blog to ours http://www.paleycenter.org/paller-the-tony-awards-brooke-shields-s-do-over-and-sutton-foster-s-dresser...and we're now devoted fans of your site.

P.S. For what it's worth, I thought that Mark Rylance was the only person in Tony history to successfully "pull off" the difficult task of summing up his play in that horrid segment where actors/puppet horses are forced to describe their play in 45 seconds or less...

And I thought I was the only straight man who watches the Tonys. Except last night, I had to record it off of rabbit ears because ATT-U-Verse was on day five of providing me no TV/phone/Internet, so I was doing my writing work at Kinko's. BTW, I'm in Dallas, and my Kinko's shares a parking lot with Bikini's Sports Grill, which of course was PACKED. I strongly considered sticking my head in the door and yelling, "Hey, could you change the channel?! I want to see who wins the Tony for Best Musical!"

Also, I freely cop to having a sick sense of humor. I had a line on our radio comedy service weeks ago about how the Tonys would include a special "In Memorium" segment just for actors killed while performing in "Spider-Man."

Speaking of censorship, FRASIER has been rerunning on the Hallmark Channel recently and I notice they bleep out every word that might offend their Amish viewers. Crap, butt, pissed off, ass, and probably forsooth if it was ever uttered. How do you feel about this, Ken?

Googled "2011 Tony Awards TV Show Review" and was rewarded with this plum of a blog. Thanks for your witty comments and insight. Also, wasn't Daniel Radcliff terrific? He looked like he was having the time of his life. Thanks!

You can see the effort Daniel is putting into the number. With Leo, you can't.

And re "Wicked": if I want great Leo Norbert Butz I'll listen to "The Last Five Years". I saw the original cast perform "Wicked" and was underwhelmed; a handful of OK songs and no memorable performances.

Am I the only one disappointed in the number from Book of Mormon (great though it was)? I love, love, love the soundtrack, and I was hoping they'd do Turn It Off, because it sounds like it has tap dancing in it. CeeDee

Daniel Radcliffe was very impressive, especially as he's neither a singer or a dancer. He really gave it his all. (incidentally, why isn't he starring in The Hobbit???)

Hugh Jackman was grrrrreat - please, somebody, put him in a classic-style musical while he still has his looks, pipes and dancin' feet!

Sutton Foster was absolutely awesome in Anything Goes, which reminded me of those big MGM Eleanor Powell ship routines. If she'd been around in the 40s or 50s, ms. Foster would have been an international superstar. Such a shame all this musical theatre talent doesn't get to make movies anymore...

"mrswing said...Daniel Radcliffe was very impressive, especially as he's neither a singer or a dancer. He really gave it his all. (incidentally, why isn't he starring in The Hobbit???)"

Because Bilbo is supposed to be 50 in The Hobbit, and so casting an actor who went through puberty a week ago would not be right. And just maybe, after over a decade playing wizards, he felt it was time to play a human being.

Radcliffe is a very talented actor, but he was miscast as an American (on BROADWAY! You'd think there was at least ONE American who could have played it!), and awards for singing an dancing go to singers and dancers, not non-singers and non-dancers who are visibly winded by halfway through that horrible choreography they threw out all the great original Bob Fosse choreography in favor of.

Moe Howard received mail addressed to "The Three Stooges, Hollywood, California" and answered it. A young fan from Ohio struck up such a friendship that Moe and his wife invited the kid to their house for lunch when he visited Los Angeles.

On The Tonight Show Johnny once showed a letter delivered to him at NBC addressed in pictures: a toilet, someone's bent leg, an automobile, and our star. The Post Office had no trouble correctly interpreting John-Knee Car-Sun

AMEN:but there is always more actual entertainment in their ceremony than all the other award shows combined. I find it a little odd that 30 million people will watch Bristol Palin clomp around like a Clydesdale on DANCING WITH THE STARS but eight people tune in to see the finest singers and dancers in musical comedy perform magnificent production numbers.

About KEN LEVINE

Named one of the BEST 25 BLOGS OF 2011 by TIME Magazine. Ken Levine is an Emmy winning writer/director/producer/major league baseball announcer. In a career that has spanned over 30 years Ken has worked on MASH, CHEERS, FRASIER, THE SIMPSONS, WINGS, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, BECKER, DHARMA & GREG, and has co-created his own series including ALMOST PERFECT starring Nancy Travis. He and his partner wrote the feature VOLUNTEERS. Ken has also been the radio/TV play-by-play voice of the Baltimore Orioles, Seattle Mariners, San Diego Padres. and has hosted Dodger Talk on the Dodger Radio Network.

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