I once asked a man what he was passionate about and he replied, leadership. “Leadership of what?” I asked. “I just want to be a leader, it doesn’t matter what.”

I could be wrong, but that sounds a bit like a power grab to me.

It’s a bit sad, if you ask me. But it’s not an unusual answer.

So many of us seek the most coveted position, which isn’t a bad thing if we’re seeking it in an area that we are passionate about and we have the gift-set, but when we want it just for the sake of having it, we will find ourselves in an excruciating uphill journey that feels mostly like trying to run quickly under water.

Worst of all, we’ll not be happy with the experience.

Co Co had it right. I think she knew well that putting aside our wish to be something, and seeking to be true to who we are and act from where we are passionate, immediately releases us from unnecessary cares.

There was a time when it was considered good and sensible to accept one’s lot in life with grace and gratitude. A time when if your father was a servant, it would follow that you would be a servant, and your son would be a servant.

These days, we tell ourselves that we can be whoever we want to be. Some folks achieve their dreams, many don’t.

I wonder have we set ourselves up for failure and ultimately, a life of misery because of it?

Just as with any stream of contemporary thought in any given time in human history, when we examine our ideals over a long period of time, we discover that the pendulum has swung from one extreme to another.

So I find myself thinking it best that the pendulum rest somewhere in the middle.

That it doesn’t have to be completely this way or that.

That purpose can be found in this way AND that.

That any person using their unique gifts can set their world on fire; no matter their station in life.

Mother Theresa was referring to the masses of people she cared for during her life with the above quote. But the wisdom in the quote can apply to many situations. I often apply this principle when working on something big.

Whether you’re looking to improve the lives of a specific group of individuals like the poor, the sick, elderly, oppressed, vulnerable or working on a complex personal goal,

or your goal is to create a team that’s on page and working together for a common purpose or negotiating rules of engagement between several groups with varying needs,

or you’re tackling a project like constructing a building, planting or harvesting a crop, renovating your house or designing and implementing a functional system,

you can very easily become overwhelmed if you digest it all in one gulp. When an individual looks at the entirety of a cause, project, or goal, they can become swallowed up and paralyzed by the enormity of it all.

So it really does make sense to break it down into smaller, chewable pieces.

I had dinner with an old friend last night to celebrate her newly acquired PhD. I’m proud of her, it’s been a long time coming!

This is an exciting time for her, but now what? Now that it’s done she wonders what she should do next; realizing she is no longer happy in her current job.

A job that I once had came up in the conversation. It was my first position after having left a career I had loved. I soon knew that this new position wasn’t the job for me. But having signed a contract I stayed for a year, all the while learning important skills I would need when I launched The Other Bottom Line. And I loved the work I did with my consultancy, all of it, except the marketing of myself!

I guess sometimes knowing what you don’t want is the beginning of understanding what you really want.

This last week has served to remind me how much I value, and how important community is. Community, or a sense of belonging if you will, drives us to discover the things we have in common and start from there to create something beautiful together.

On Thursday night from 6:30PM to 3:30AM on Friday, I volunteered with a group of people, some of whom I’d never met, at a local casino to raise funds for Oxford House Foundation of Canada. It was only the second time I’d ever worked a volunteer shift at a casino. And oh man, staying up all night is not as easy to bounce back from as it was in my twenties! A month or two ago I worked a day shift for another wonderful organization called Fresh Start.

I gotta tell ya, both volunteer shifts were incredibly fun in that I always like learning new things and I always love meeting new people. The outstanding part of this experience for me, has got to be the fact that over the two days that a non-profit organization hosts a casino, up to 40 volunteers are needed to make it work. And they all work together, very hard I might add, to benefit a specific charity.

It really is something of great value when opportunities like this arise and one is able to take part in them!

On the following Saturday, I was invited to speak to a group of about hundred people on fundraising. Fundraising is both a science and an art, and I focused my talk on the art.

The art is all about relationships. And relationships are all about two-way communication, learning from each other and adding and gaining value from working together. In essence, it’s about building community which just happens to be my core passion!

My talk was divided into parts including: Know yourself and know others. One of the best ways to build solid relationships is to connect through stories: telling your story, learning their story and building a story together.

In other words, my story with the challenges I’ve faced and the resolutions I’ve come to have shaped who I am, what I value, what I am passionate about and why. The same is true of your story. When I know myself and I know you and what your values and passions are, we can find ways to be together for the greater good to create a better world for all of us. We are committed through our common values, passion and goals.

Now that’s like magic to me! What could possibly be more meaningful than that?

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

What is one of your favourite stories about working with a group toward a common goal? What was one of the challenges you have faced in your life that has made you who you are today? Which values did you adopt because of it? What are you passionate about?

Several years back, I was faced with a difficult choice. I was at a crossroad. I was so inside my own head, I could not find a way out. I could not see a clear path. I hurt so much, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

Sometimes, when things seem murky, when I can’t see clearly, when I am afraid – I write. I write as fast as I can to capture the thoughts running through my mind. I don’t pay attention to grammar or political correctness or sit in judgement of the words that spill out. I just write.

I’ve long since come through that particular difficult time.

But yesterday I came across what I had written back then. It’s so weird to read it. Some parts don’t even sound like me, to me, not anymore anyway. It sounds whiny, helpless, weak.

And I want to edit it so bad before sharing it!

But maybe there’s some value in the rawness of the words. Maybe it’s, I don’t know – human-ish. And maybe it will help someone else to not feel so alone in their thoughts when they are struggling; to not feel like they’ve lost their mind. So here it is, for what it’s worth. As it was written then.

I am trying not to be hasty

I am unsure of myself

I am a peacemaker—I want to make things alright

I need support in things I am not even aware of

I am angry

I am clinging to ideals

I am struggling to keep the fire burning, the passion in my heart

I second guess everything

I operate by instinct and am struggling with process

I feel undervalued

I feel steamrolled

I am tired

I am confused

I take my responsibility seriously

I am a collaborative person by nature

I believe in buy in

I am overwhelmed

I am scattered in thought

I am afraid to fail/disappoint

I operate at best when I feel inspired—I don’t feel inspired

I feel like the things that are important to me don’t matter

I feel incompetent

I feel like I’m expected to magically be at a certain level

I have important strengths

I love people

I believe in impassioning others

I believe in our people, that they can be all they can be

I believe in my team and honour their strengths

I give credit where credit is due

I look for the good

I believe I was called to this place

I believe that God has a purpose for me

I believe in building community and promoting tolerance

I believe in breaking myths and stereotypes

I believe in healthy balance of life

I believe that my staff want to do a good job

I need clear vision/direction

I need to know that my superiors believe in me

I learn best through mentorship and experience

I want to understand and be understood

I know who I am

I know who I want to be

I value mentors

I value protégées

I try not to be judgmental

I live in the grey/the in between

I am not black and white

I believe there are many I’s in team

I value disagreement/different perspectives

I am open

I value constructive criticism

I strive to be a better person

I strive to be a model in decency by the way I conduct myself

I work hard not to speak in anger, but to eventually speak

I believe in kindness

I am a persuader

I offer a unique perspective

I struggle with loneliness—at the same time I keep people at an arm’s length

I am direct

I value honesty

I want to make a difference

I want to leave a mark

I want to empower others to make a difference and leave a mark

I want to unite community

I am generous

I am loyal

I believe in complimenting people, edifying them, pointing out their strengths

I am optimistic

I am impatient

I strive to be a good listener

I strive to communicate in others’ language

I struggle with authority

I believe God places people in leadership and I trust that process

I think staff morale is important

I don’t like phonies

I strive to be true to myself—I don’t always succeed

I have a hard time letting people in

I am drawn to confident people

I am repelled by arrogant people

I promote understanding

I am interested in the whole person

I value friendship

I believe in people

I want to be recognized/acknowledged when I do good

I believe in investing in people

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Have you ever felt this? Had similar thoughts? What is your strategy when you need to find your way?

When someone takes on an important cause and knows exactly what they’re meant to do. When they are focused on where they are going and what they will accomplish. When they can see how the world will look when their mission is completed and paint a clear picture of it. When they can passionately articulate it to others. When they care so much about the world and they, dare I say it, love the people. They naturally draw followers to them.

The world stands aside for someone like this. For someone whose fiery passion catches and ignites in the hearts of the people, whose words inspire compassion and service, whose faith and commitment remain strong so that they do not deviate from their mission, whose servant leadership exemplifies how it should be done and keeps them on the frontlines with those who follow, whose very life is a testament to their work.

Yes, the world stands aside for someone like this.

Happy Easter Everyone!

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

This holiday season, may you experience new life, new growth and renewed hope.

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anaïs Nin

When you take a leap in faith to follow your heart, you do so knowing that there is no guarantee that you will succeed.

Often, when you finally do pursue your dream, it’s because it has become too unbearable for you to remain docile in a particular situation or way of being. For whatever reason, you resolve that change is needed.

And so you calculate the risk.

Is it what I really want? Is it worth pursuing even if nothing comes of it? What are the pros and cons of taking this risk? What might I lose? What might I gain?

All growth seems to happen when it becomes uncomfortable to remain where and how you are. And whether it manifests itself the way you hoped it would or not, growth always adds value, sometimes it even leads to more than you envisioned.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

What’s the most important risk you ever took? Did it work out the way you hoped it would? What did you learn through the process?

Climb the mountain so you can see the world, not so the world can see you. ~ David McCullough

When you have the means to make it in this world, when the pieces fall together in such a way for you to get ahead, to gain influence and power, then it’s more vital than ever for you to do what is appropriate for the greater good.

And in such a position, it is also important to be a person of integrity, someone who has their personal affairs in order, someone who is a role model for justice and compassion.

Listen to what President Obama had to say when asked what questions he’d asked of presidential candidates.

~

To Whom Much is Given, Much is expected

A good leader, whether the leader of a nation, or the CEO of a company, or the team lead of a crew needs to climb the mountain, not to be seen, but so (s)he can see the people, understand their circumstances and lead effectively with their best interests in mind.

What can you do today for your family, your company, your neighbourhood, your city, your cause to make it better for everyone.

You need to have a shtick, that thing that you do that makes a difference in this world and has great meaning to you.

Your purpose.

Your calling.

Your mission.

Your service to others.

To be happy, you need to be connected.

You need to love people and be loved by people.

And even when they correct you, when they call bullshit on you, it’s ok, because you know they love you.

You know they’ll always be there for you and you’ll always be there for them.

To be happy you need something to hope for.

There’s got to be more. Always.

You need to believe in something bigger than yourself.

You need to dream, to work toward a vision for the future.

You need to have faith that it will all work together for the good, that it will come to be, maybe different or even better than you imagined, even though you may not yet have all the skills or know-how or support to make it so.