Out of the Shadows: What Being a Sub Means to Me

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What Being a Sub Means to Me
by anglfire

That is a very hard question... and yet a easy one too, hard meaning that I really don't know what it means in reality as i have really and truly never experienced the true feelings of serving someone.
Easy in the respect of knowing in my heart the things that have to be the most important, that have to matter the most to make it all work.

I know it must begin with trust and loyalty and truth, and it takes both parties to be honest and understanding, but I guess that doesn't answer the question does it?

Being a sub means to me......having a person in my life that i feel totally comfortable with, someone whom I trust enough to give up my very all too, to trust every essence of my life and will with this person, too totally submit to them and willingly hand them the control of what i am and who i am.

Being a sub means to me....total honesty between both parties involved, without that there is no foundation for a solid relationship, how can there ever be trust without honesty? I do not think there can be, as the two go hand in hand.

Being a sub means to me....above all else the truth must always be told, for without the truth, you have nothing, nothing built on lies is very unstable and is guaranteed to fall, i believe the truth is the most important part of a relationship between two people, it is the catalyst that will make or break any union.

Being a sub means to me.....always understanding what my Mistress/Master wants/needs, always being there when i am what she wants to be able to soothe and comfort her in what ever way i can to do what ever she asks of me and to do it gladly.

This above is what i think being a sub means to me...i would now like to explain the emotional reason that i wanted to be a sub...and maybe put some insight into why i feel the way i do.

I have always had to be the one in control....all my life, as a child the only person who had any control over me was my mother, I come from a family of very dominating women, my mom wore the pants in the family and if any one of her 7 husbands didn't like it...well that was too bad, I was raised the same by her.

In my 17 year marriage it was the same, my husband left everything to me to do...paying bills, talking to people, making every decision myself with absolutely no input from him, always being the one in control of whatever was going on in our lives, leaving me to deal with everything...including our divorce.

I feel a deep need and want to just turn it over to someone whom i feel that kind of trust with, someone who will take it and take control, to make decisions, not leave everything for me to decide.
Someone to go to battle for me when i am wronged....instead of the other way around.

I love to do for someone i care about, there is not much ..if anything that i will not do to serve that person.
to be there for them, when they need or want me, I am a very sexual person and yet that is where i am the most submissive......to take control sexually does nothing for me, it can be fun...but it is not sexually stimulating for me...........but to sexually submit, totally turns me on..it can make me melt into a puddle.

I suppose all these things are connected in some way, and why i think, like i do, sometime i should analyze that, and see if i can figure it out.