March 8, 2006

When in doubt, talk about knitting.

It's a little overwhelming to think of how many people have been through a bad breakup. I do appreciate every kind word, and I only hope that all of us find a new love, and that love is... MISTI ALPACA.

For those of you who do not knit, Misti Alpaca is to yarn what Marc Jacobs is to handbags: perfection. I'm not sure if alpaca is considered wool, even though I assume it comes off an animal in sheeplike-shearing fashion (one might be surprised to discover that I lived on a farm in Comfort, Texas as a child. But in my defense, we raised holsteins, OK people? Hook 'em horns does not refer to the great Alpaca population of Texas.) Where were we? Oh yes! The softness! This yarn feels so soft, not the least bit wool-scratchy and impossibly lofty. I may investigate buying a baby alpaca for my backyard. In Encino. My rationale is that if Crackhead Bob gets to build a meth lab, I should get my own backyard alpaca.

When Annie was here last year filming Knitty Gritty (which, by the way, seems to be stuck in repeats, can someone please explain why every show is a repeat? why?) she gave me her goody bag from the episode and in it was a single hank of lovely loden green Misty Alpaca. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. Recently, I bought two skeins of this heavenly stuff in black, and I want to make a scarf -- got any ideas? I'm trying to decide... a skinny ribbed pattern? A single cable? I want something simple, but nice in black.

In other news, I am taking all my fashion knitting cues from the cover of "US Weekly" magazine:

Where others may see nothing but Brangelina, or perhaps Britney's unfortunate swimming costume, I can't keep my eyes off that fantastic ribbed-brim hat! I cast on last night for a simple ribbed-brim chunky hat of my own using my beloved Patons Up Country (another heartbreak, the day I discovered it was discontinued.) (Unlike husbands, however, when it comes to yarn we can buy as many skeins as possible and seal them away in ziploc bags until we find a use for them.)

My house is just full of all sorts of knitting-in-progress (read: scarves that need finishing.) Tonight I fully intend to turn Chez Cat Hair into Chez Keep The Cats Off The Guest Bed So I Can Block Like A Mutha, because ya'll... there is big, scary weather news forecast for Los Angeles and I will NEED those wooly handknits! This weekend, we are supposed to have the evil "rain" combined with a new thing they are calling a "cold front" and in a scary and potentially devastating turn of fate, it may allegedly drop BELOW fifty degrees during the daytime! With rain! Falling from the sky! PEOPLE MAY DIE.

How on earth will we make it to Starbucks on Saturday morning? Will there be a city-wide caffeine withdrawl? Will people loot the Beverly Center in search of skinny scarves, puffy vests and Ugg boots? Will there be shortages of knit Brangelina-style ribbed-brim hats? OH GOD. What if there are no Brangelina hats left? Will we have to resort to wearing newsboy caps from two seasons ago?

SAY IT ISN'T SO.

Ya'll pray for Los Angeles. Let's hope the handknits are ready in time for what may only be described as POTENTIALLY THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN TO CRAZYKIND.