Ok I have been divorced since June and still struggling because she filed on me but wont leave me alone. I got to keep the house and I cant exactly lock the doors because I have 4 kids coming and going. Yes I could give them a key but then the problem becomes they will just let her in.

Anyways I don't know how some of you guys do the budgeting. I have 50/50 custody and have to give her basically 30% of my take home. I know I should not be struggling with 60% but I am. The struggle I guess is not being able to drop my standard of living that 30%. I have found that it is closer to 15% due to my electric bill dropping in half, not paying her health/car insurance ect ect. I guess my question is how long did it take for you to get into a routine that kept your head above water and brought you down to the "new" standard of living? I mean if I would of lost and she got full custody I would be lucky to bring home 50% of my take home pay so I have no idea how some of you guys are able to do it.

Just to point out after all deductions (tax's, insurance ect ect) my take home is 39% of my weekly gross wage (I get paid weekly). at least that's what the graph shows lol. It used to be 56%.

Anyways my second question comes in the form of food stamps. My ex is filing out the paperwork for government assistance because she brings home a whopping $400/month less than I do when you consider the child support I have to give her. Will the state/feds come after me because of this? Forcing me to pay more child support? I have tried to understand the wording on this but the Michigan support page is extremely vague.

I am behind (thanks to Michigan being so slow) on Child support but they are taking an extra $20/week out of me for that so I should be caught up about Feb if that is a factor?

Great question. Lay out your budget for us and we can help trim the fat.

I second that. Without seeing a rough expense sheet not much we can do, other than eliminating cable TV & internet if you haven't done it, and reducing your utilities consumption to bare bones. Maybe you can't cut more than that - won't know until we see the balance sheet.

Whenever you think divorce is bad, remember there are worse things than divorce.

Given your previous post, you're extremely lucky you didn't get hit with SS, it would have bankrupted you. Had no idea MI was so tough on spouses requesting SS. Here in IL the wifey pretty much has to kill someone with an axe in broad daylight in order to not receive SS.

Whenever you think divorce is bad, remember there are worse things than divorce.

How is it you are paying 30% of your income to her? Not employed? under employed?

I was also behind at first too, takes 1-3 months for garnishment to start so arrears pile up during that time. My ex was even nice enough to try to use that against me in court in round 2. Judge ignored it.

BTW, it took me 2 years to climb out financially and it took some extreme budgeting.

the funniest thing about this particular signature is that by the time you realize it doesn't say anything it's to late to stop reading it

You should not let her have access to the house. I would have your lawyer send her a letter saying she cannot enter your home, and I would set up a camera to monitor the front door so you can document if she comes in. NJs love to go into your house to spy, take things, and plant things. You need to stop that.

lovingfatherof2 wrote:Im also in Michigan, I might be able to help some.

I need more details though.

How is it you are paying 30% of your income to her? Not employed? under employed?

I was also behind at first too, takes 1-3 months for garnishment to start so arrears pile up during that time. My ex was even nice enough to try to use that against me in court in round 2. Judge ignored it.

BTW, it took me 2 years to climb out financially and it took some extreme budgeting.

because I make 3 times what she does. so even though I have 50/50 I still have to pay. I was only behind 6 weeks. I am guessing I will be caught up in Feb as I just found out they are taking 60% of my take home pay from Bonus Checks to give to her ugg. I get 4 per year at about $500 after taxes. They gave her just over $300 of that.

Basically I bring home $600/week (used to $900) so I know im not in bad shape just trying to cut out the fat like eating out.

My expenses I have to cut out but haven't figured it out. I know my phone bill needs to be cut but its like how to go about doing it without taking the kids phones away.

My house is $1000/month (this includes escrow)phone $300/month but that's about to drop $100 since 4 of the phones will be paid off next month (there are 5 phones).Credit Card I was stuck with is about $100/month I owe $2 grand (no im not using it trying to pay the damn thing off). Cable internet is $65/monthTv is $14/monthTrash is $200/yearinsurance is $135/monthI have been spending $250 biweekly on food. Unfortunately I think this is my problem. When I don't have the kids I tend to eat out rather than make something at home. Something I was used to doing when I was married.I do have a student loan $91/month I owe $850 on that yet (I can see end of the tunnel)water/sewage (in town) is $35/monthElectric is $75/month (hell this used to be $180/month when she was living there I was like OMG seriously).Gas $53/month (budget plan)Oh Roof loan (roof was leaking badly this summer and rather than go with a shingled roof for $7000 I went with metal for $10000) this one is $150/month. I suppose I could have just went with a brick and tarp system saving me money lol.

No vehicle payments. Paid that off last month but that was $500/month. Sorry if I am forgetting something. I do believe most of my problem is eating out. That's where I am struggling to cut back.

Motororays wrote:because I make 3 times what she does. so even though I have 50/50 I still have to pay. I was only behind 6 weeks. I am guessing I will be caught up in Feb as I just found out they are taking 60% of my take home pay from Bonus Checks to give to her ugg. I get 4 per year at about $500 after taxes. They gave her just over $300 of that.

Basically I bring home $600/week (used to $900) so I know im not in bad shape just trying to cut out the fat like eating out.

My expenses I have to cut out but haven't figured it out. I know my phone bill needs to be cut but its like how to go about doing it without taking the kids phones away.

My house is $1000/month (this includes escrow)phone $300/month but that's about to drop $100 since 4 of the phones will be paid off next month (there are 5 phones).Credit Card I was stuck with is about $100/month I owe $2 grand (no im not using it trying to pay the damn thing off). Cable internet is $65/monthTv is $14/monthTrash is $200/yearinsurance is $135/monthI have been spending $250 biweekly on food. Unfortunately I think this is my problem. When I don't have the kids I tend to eat out rather than make something at home. Something I was used to doing when I was married.I do have a student loan $91/month I owe $850 on that yet (I can see end of the tunnel)water/sewage (in town) is $35/monthElectric is $75/month (hell this used to be $180/month when she was living there I was like OMG seriously).Gas $53/month (budget plan)Oh Roof loan (roof was leaking badly this summer and rather than go with a shingled roof for $7000 I went with metal for $10000) this one is $150/month. I suppose I could have just went with a brick and tarp system saving me money lol.

No vehicle payments. Paid that off last month but that was $500/month. Sorry if I am forgetting something. I do believe most of my problem is eating out. That's where I am struggling to cut back.

You can get a prepaid cell phone for $30 or less a month. The prepaid cell companies commonly give out free smart phones to new customers.

Cut your TV/cable bill to zero.

Food pantries do not require proof of income.

Sell your vehicle and purchase a less expensive one.

Have you checked out what rentals go for in your area? Might be time to sell the house.

Food stamps...? Are you kidding? You drive a nicer vehicle than I do with a cellphone bill 10 times what I pay. You have cable TV and internet. Time to stop living beyond your means, dude. You have champagne tastes on a Miller High Life income.

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