Random jokes I come across

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. "Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and I always have to repeat myself."

"Well," the doctor replied, "go home tonight and stand about 5 metres from her and say something to her. If she doesn't hear, move a metre closer and say it again. Keep doing this so we'll get an idea of the severity of her deafness."

The husband goes home and does what the doctor instructed. He stands 5 metres from his wife as she is chopping some vegetables and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Hearing no response, he moves a metre closer and asks again. No reply. He moves another metre closer and still no reply. Fed up, he moves right behind her and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Re: Random jokes I come across

A dissatisfied train passenger writes the following letter of complaint to the railway authorities: "Gentlemen: I have been riding your trains daily for the last 22 years and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on my way to and from work. I think your transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2000 years ago. Yours truly, A Commuter."

The railway authorities reply: "Dear Sir: We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2000 years ago was by foot. Sincerely, Western Railways."

The passenger replies back: "Gentlemen: I am in receipt of your letter and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you refer to the Old Testament book of David in the Bible, Chapter Nine, you will find that Balaam rode to town 'seated' on his donkey. That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your trains in the last 22 years. Yours truly, A Long 'Standing' Commuter."

Re: Random jokes I come across

I think the point is

'The farmer is clearly uneducated as he cannot do percentages but he is a practical man who can, nevertheless, earn an honest dollar. The graduate has loads of book knowledge but cannot earn a living.'

I'm not sure it's a 'ha ha' joke, but it is an important lesson for us all.

Bob

You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself..........Galileo Galilei

Re: Random jokes I come across

Re: Random jokes I come across

hi sasha1grate

welcome to the forum!

Here lies the reader who will never open this book. He is forever dead.Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most. ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and PunishmentThe knowledge of some things as a function of age is a delta function.

Re: Random jokes I come across

An Einstein anecdote:Einstein was a late bloomer and didn't start talking until he was seven. This made his parents fear he might be slow. Until one night at dinner he said, "The soup is too hot." Relieved his parents asked him why he'd waited so long to speak. He replied, "Up until now, everything was in order."

Re: Random jokes I come across

Re: Random jokes I come across

let epsilon be less than zero...

Here lies the reader who will never open this book. He is forever dead.Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most. ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and PunishmentThe knowledge of some things as a function of age is a delta function.

* Proof by reference to inaccessible literature: The author cites a simple corollary of a theorem to be found in a privately circulated memoir of the Slovenian Philological Society, 1883.

* Proof by mutual reference: In reference A, Theorem 5 is said to follow from Theorem 3 in reference B, which is shown to follow from Corollary 6.2 in reference C, which is an easy consequence of Theorem 5 in reference A.

Here lies the reader who will never open this book. He is forever dead.Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most. ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and PunishmentThe knowledge of some things as a function of age is a delta function.

Re: Random jokes I come across

well,i think it was meant for student cases,and it means that students don't really check the solutions and/or examples given by work or any sheets for that matter.

Here lies the reader who will never open this book. He is forever dead.Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear most. ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and PunishmentThe knowledge of some things as a function of age is a delta function.

Re: Random jokes I come across

Proof by ponderousness - A proof is so long no one has the the time or the inclination to check it. They just agree it is correct.

Proof by Ponderosaness - Ben Cartwright said it was good, so Adam Cartwright said it was good, so Little Joe Cartwright said it was good, so Hoss Cartwright said it was good, So Hop Sing said it was good...

In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them.

I agree with you regarding the satisfaction and importance of actually computing some numbers. I can't tell you how often I see time and money wasted because someone didn't bother to run the numbers.