Some of my friends have been dumped by a girlfriend, their wife, or indeed, someone else’s wife…not something that Cwmbran’s answer to George Clooney can relate to obviously, but I have been dumped upon or misled on more than one occasion by a vendor or potential vendor. Whilst the ego does take a blow, what really grinds my gears is when their recollection of events is somewhat at odds with the facts recorded. Think Jezza and “I was present at wreath-laying but don’t think I was involved..” Rightyho then comrade, that will be you standing holding a %^&k off big bunch of flowers arranged in a circular shape then…?

Perhaps though it is time for me to heed the lessons of the past.

We received a call recently from someone who wanted a valuation carried out on their property and were ringing our office because, “you came out and valued my old house 3 years ago and we were very impressed by you, but then sold it to a friend privately”.Ok. Thank you for sharing that with me. Is that the faint ringing of a an alarm bell that I hear? “Plus,we won’t use Agent ***** who came out last week and they only valued it at £xxx” Ding dong, for whom the bell tolls. So number 1, you were so impressed with our previous performance, that we weren’t even first choice and number 2, Agent **** clearly didn’t value it at the price that you wanted and he/she may well be correct in their valuation but you want to chance your luck somewhere else.

Gears already starting to stick, I looked up on our software our previous interaction with this individual. I had indeed been to their property twice in early 2017 and had prepared a report and offered my valuation. Consulting the rightmove data, I found out that the property had been listed with another agent a whole 3 days after the vendor had received my valuation and that agent had sold the property. So much for a private sale to a friend then. Remember people, what can’t speak can’t lie. It then came flooding back to me how I had expressed my displeasure at the time to the staff using colourful language and how my blood pressure had risen somewhat.

Back to 2019 and I immediately told the staff that they could ring the individual back and tell them where to shove their £$%^ house. But then I went and had a nice cup of tea and a jam tart (not a euphemism, you filthy-minded lot) and thought why not be the bigger/better person and go and embarrass the f”£% out of them?

I still heed the words from an old boss who when asked by a rival agent how many properties he had listed, “all the ones that I want to dear boy, good day”. He also made the incontrovertible statement that until it is sold, “a listing is a liability”. Listing properties costs us, the agents, money. So why go around listing properties at any cost? Possibly because it allows certain unscrupulous members of the property profession to manipulate rightmove figures and certificates and in the big corporates, it keeps your regional manager/director off your back and pushes then in the direction of some other poor unfortunate. As an independent, why would I go there?”