Month: January 2013

I enjoy your Yelp reviews and think its awesome that you get out to the cool spots. When I am in my 90s I wanna be like you. My grandma is 88 and quite the socialite. Keep the reviews coming! What is your #1 favorite restaurant in the greater LA area?

Signed,

Melissa

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Hi Melissa,

Thank you for your message. I have a feeling you are going to be a very hip 90-year-old and give me a run for my money. Your grandma sounds like a hoot!

There are so many wonderful restaurants in Los Angeles, but if I had to pick a favorite, I would say Philippe the Original. That was my place with my family for many many years. We always just called it Philippe’s.

You can always count on the food and the lively atmosphere, and being there always means that I am spending time with the people I love the best. Also, there are no pretenses in that place. I never feel like I am going there to be seen. You walk in, you get your sandwich, you do your thing and that is good enough for me. Plus, who could forget their cole slaw?!

I have a question, but I’m not sure if you’ll be able to answer, as I’m sure you’re very busy. Your tales of love remind me of my own. I’m 7 years into a very happy marriage. We laugh everyday; people often think we’re on our first date! We are very lucky to have each other and couldn’t be happier.

My problem is that now that I have found my wonderful partner, I worry about losing him. I worry he might pass away and I won’t be able to cope. I know I should just make the most of the good times and not worry. Is it normal to think these thoughts, or am I just being morbid?

I really hope this doesn’t upset you, as it’s a very personal question. You are the only person I’ve ever mentioned this to, and I thought you might be able to advise me.

Thanks for your time, and thank you for all your wisdom and sharing. You are a real inspiration!

signed,
Worrying

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Dear Worrying,

It is so nice to hear of your happiness. You are very fortunate to have found your partner. He sounds like a gem.

As for your concern about losing your partner, try not to be so hard on yourself. In my opinion, it is very normal to be worry about this, especially as times goes on. It shows how much you care and value the relationship.

Harry and I were together for so long that t was impossible for me to imagine what life would be like without him. So when this worry came along, I acknowledged it, while recognizing that there was really nothing I could do about the worry. Then I hugged Harry a little harder and inevitably went back to the business of everyday life.

I wish there were some magic words that I could tell you to make it easier now and in the future. The truth of it is that you take it as it comes. When Harry passed, my heart ached and I was mad that we had to be apart– even if I reminded myself that 98 years was a good run for him and that we were lucky to have 73 years together.

Here I am two years later and I am just as strong as ever. I think that our love and our relationship was such a solid foundation that it is somehow supporting me even after he has passed. I know that Harry still loves me, wherever he is. I miss him often, but I can remember him and cherish the memories.

I can only speak from my experience. My hope for you is that you are able to accept yourself now for having these concerns and that you continue to appreciate your beautiful relationship.

Have any of you had a chance to read my book? I am eager to hear your thoughts. Please consider reviewing the book on Amazon. Thank you in advance for taking the time – your contributions can help new friends take a chance on “Fall In Love For Life.” Here is a link to review the book on Amazon: http://amzn.to/UnbLihContinue reading “Please consider: Reviewing my book!”

I worry about aging and growing old. People always say that you’ll always wish you were young again. They seem sad. I have been stressing over this for the last year!

I was wondering, since you are fabulous for your age, if you have anything to tell me. My family tells me not to worry, but I can’t seem help myself.

Signed,
15 and Thinking Too Much

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Dear 15 and Thinking Too Much,

I completely understand that you are concerned about getting older. Sometimes I can’t believe that I am coming up on 96 years. Certainly as a young person, I never thought that I would get to be this old — but now that I am older, I can see that aging is not in itself a bad thing.

Getting older is not something that you should be afraid of. So many good things come of it. You get the time to accept yourself and to become the kind of person that you wish to be. As you grow older, you can learn how to take very good care yourself — with bubble baths, walks in the sun, a nap when you need it — and you can spend your time loving and caring for the wonderful people who you chose to have in your life. These are the things that an older person can look back on, with joy.

I was lucky because had my husband Harry. Even after 73 years together, he still looked at me like I was the young lady he fell in love with. And because of his kindness and acceptance of me, I never felt like I was old–maybe “older” but certainly not “old”.

I know that the media tries to tell us that the only thing that matters is youth, but that is so wrong! Definitely enjoy this time that you have as a young person and try not to be so hard on yourself for being concerned about getting older. It might help to take a moment to think about what it is about getting older that is so scary to you. Identifying your fears can help take the power out of them. And if you still can’t stop thinking about this, you might want to talk to a trusted medical professional about ways to overcome obsessive worrying.

I think about you at age fifteen and smile. You have your whole life ahead of you — so many wonderful experiences to come. Aging comes with the territory, and it can be quite wonderful territory. I know that you will make the most of it.

Here is a cute photo of Harry and I from a few years ago. We saw a photobooth at the mall and decided to hop inside. My granddaughter tried to squeeze into the photo too, but that didn’t really work out. Still, I think we all look great. “Cheese!”Continue reading “Photo Booth Fun”