Courtney Stodden Released A X-Mas Video Called Mistletoe Bikini

OMG! Courtney Stodden released a Christmas music video called Mistletoe Bikini. The video is exactly as you would imagine it, classy with high production values. NOT. But that’s not even my beef. The lyrics. The lyrics are the real train wreck here.

Courtney tells gross Santa that the only think she wants for Christmas is to huff on his pipe all night. And just in case you weren’t sure what she meant she couples the lyric with a hand gesture that is hard to misinterpret, especially since she’s on her knees at the time.

THIS IS THE WORST THING I’VE SEEN SINCE HER PORNO!

Crack the whip daddy, at the very least they could have invested in a bottle of Dermablend to cover the bruise on her thigh. A bruise is the last thing I want to see when watching a little person whip Courtney’s bum.

I DID NOT want to know that Santa has a cinnamon tongue and a peppermint dick. That’s just too much information.

The song is actually catchy, though. I’ll give it that. But it’s also kinda of offensive.

You’ve reached Santa’s voicemail. Leave a message!
Hey, Santa? It’s Courtney. Is Mrs. Claus there? Look, I know you’re fat and all, but you can slide down my chimney any time. Oh, and by the way? You’re steady as fuck!

It promotes adultery and fat shaming, two things I am firmly against. Courtney Cane has definitely been naughty. Christmas is was not saved!