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The Ghostest with the Mostest

MWAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Finally, my everyday laugh makes sense in context. It’s Halloween! And no matter how many times I tell myself I’m “over it,” every year it’s magic. I’m wearing an ironic shirt on the outside and making haunty noises on the inside.

When you grow up, your heart dies.

Today I would like to pay homage to my FAVE Halloween movie. It’s not technically a movie, actually. It’s somewhere between a film, a music video, a terrifying nightmare, and a delightful romp. A rompmare, if you will. It is the 39-minute slice of majesty that is Michael Jackson’s Ghosts.

Released in 1996, Ghosts was far more ambitious than any of Michael’s previous ventures, which is saying a lot considering he pretty much invented production values. Much of the video is devoted to plotting and exposition, leaving only long snippets of the 3 songs featured: “2 Bad,” “Is It Scary” and “Ghosts.” Directed by special-effects king Stan Winston and co-written by my boo Stephen King, Ghosts is kind of a stunning narrative unto itself, a horrifying and humorous little story enriched by pop music. It manages to be childlike, frightening, artful, sexy, and exciting all at the same time, just like Michael himself.

Ghosts was even released at Cannes, and holds the Guinness World Record for “Longest Music Video.” If you’ve never seen it before, it’s a must-watch. If you have, you already know that nothing says Halloween more than a moonwalking, chest-pounding skeleton marching up the walls and calling up the undead dance army.

Please also watch for a young Mos Def cowering in the corners. Also, I live for Michael in excessive prosthetics as the uptight ringleader of the angry mob. When that fat man starts grabbing his crotch, that’s when the spirit of the season really sets in for me. Really, all of these special affects will slay you. And need I get started on the ruffled shirt? So. Many. Ruffles.