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Collaborative divorce 7 28-13

1.
THE PEACEMAKERS’ DIVORCE

2.
The Collaborative Approach is:
A way for attorneys to take on the role that they were
meant to assume when working with families in conflict,
as Counselors-at-Law, with everyone agreeing in writing
not to go to court.

3.
• With a Collaborative
Practice divorce,
each adult hires a
Collaborative
Practice lawyer, who
protects & guides
each spouse.
• Spouses meet
privately with their
lawyers, as well as
together with each
other & their
lawyers.
The Collaborative Approach is:

4.
The Collaborative Approach is:
• Additional experts, such as
divorce coaches & child &
financial specialists, may
join the process or are
perhaps the first
professional consulted.
• The shared professional
team is a valuable benefit as
they work together with
spouses, promoting good
decision-making in a time
of crisis, ultimately helping
to create a solid foundation
for the family’s future.

5.
• Professionals committed to help couples resolve their
divorce as fairly & amicably as possible.
• All meetings are intended to promote honest exchange
of information & clear understanding about needs &
expectations, especially about the well-being of
children.
The Collaborative Approach is:

6.
The Collaborative Approach is:
• Mutual problem-solving by all parties leads to the final
divorce agreement.
• Combined decades of experience & education of the
Collaborative Law team using this process, which
promotes resolution of divorce matters uniquely
tailored to family’s needs.

7.
The Collaborative Approach is:
• About preserving family relationships.
• About managing disputes within families,
businesses, work settings & neighborhoods.
• About constructively addressing paternity cases &
prenuptial agreements.
• Not just about divorce but for all civil procedures.

8.
The Collaborative Approach is:
• One of the best kept
secrets.
• When we do our work
well, no one outside the
process knows about it.
• The best kept secret is
that you do not have to
go bankrupt when you
divorce & it does not
have to hurt so much.
• A way of life.

9.
Collaborative Law Principles:
• An agreement is signed
by spouses & their
lawyers to allow
parties to resolve issues
without court
appearances.
• An open exchange of
information by both
spouses is required.
• Goal is to determine a
maximum outcome &
possibilities that reflect
the most important
priorities for each
spouse & their
children.

10.
The Benefits of Collaborative Approaches:
• Maintain control over
personal, private information.
• Eliminates the high cost of
courtroom litigation.
• Often reduces the time to
address legal issues.
- Each family’s situation
determines how quickly the
divorce process proceeds.
- Collaborative Practice can
be more direct & efficient.

11.
• Reduces the time to address
legal issues.
- With focus on problem-
solving, instead of blame &
grievances, this process is
less antagonistic & more
respectful.
- Full disclosure & open
communications assure all
issues are addressed in a
timely manner.
- By settling out of court,
there is no wait for the
multiple court dates
necessary with conventional
divorce.

14.
Why do family law professional peacemakers
conclude collaboration is the best way, when often
they make less money from each family served?
• Increased pride &
personal satisfaction in
what can be achieved
within a collaborative
system.
• Vicarious joy in
witnessing the
preservation of more
cordial family
relationships following
divorce.

15.
• Children’s sense of well-being is fostered by parental
harmony.
• Children experience the healing aspects of collaborative
process, because it enables the family to remain
connected.
• Personal stress is decreased.
• The collaborative approach reduces the negativity
typically created by going to court. Thus, extended
family & significant others are not drawn into a dreadful
process.

16.
The Cost of Adversarialism:
• Not just paid in dollars.
• Loss of productivity &
control of outcome.
• Length of time to
conclude.
• Protracted stress.
• Beginning of the
odyssey of conflict.

17.
The Cost of Adversarialism:
• Who really profits from
protracted litigation?
• Resources are redirected
from the family to the
adversarial system.
• Enemies gained when there
is a face off in court.
• Expect judge to fix it? Judge
will chop resources in half
& create a mess.

18.
The Cost of Adversarialism:
• Do you have an emotional budget?
• What about the performance factor?
• What’s your comfort level communicating personal
information in a stressful, public forum?

19.
Why are those in the “public eye”
choosing an alternative to court-
processed divorce?
• March 1, 2013 -
Billionaire T. Boone
Pickens, energy
tycoon.
• A man who knows a
good deal when he
sees one.
• Used a collaborative
divorce approach in
his recent parting of
ways from his fourth
wife, Madeleine.

21.
• Pickens is such a
believer in the process
that he gave the
Collaborative Law
Institute of Texas
$100,000.
• Pickens, famous for
saying “the first billion
is the hardest ,” said his
second divorce was the
toughest. He did not
use the collaborative
approach on that one.