Disconnection

We’re in the fifth year of our power exchange. I had been wild for the last nine months. That ended on Tuesday night. My chastity device came off before my shoulder surgery at the end of April 2017. My recovery has been long and painful. Mrs. Lion felt that the cage was just another challenge for me to face, so she removed it.

For the last few months we discussed if or when the cage should return. There were very good arguments to let me remain wild. I have been conditioned by the years of being locked in a chastity device. There is no real chance I will masturbate when wild. Mrs. Lion was content to leave me uncaged.

It bothered me that my cage lived on my nightstand. I couldn’t help but think that it was in the wrong place. It should be locked on my cock. I wondered if wearing the device was part of the same conditioning that ended my desire to jerk off. Over the years, I referred to it as a kind of wedding ring that symbolized my commitment to my lioness. It felt good to think that way.

But is the reality less pretty? All I know is that during the last couple of months I wanted to be wearing it again. I admitted to Mrs. Lion that I had no logical reason to desire this. I said that I wanted her control and I wanted if and when I am locked up to be her decision. That part came out of my desire to feel her power. She kindly agreed to do it. I have to admit it feels good to be caged again.

I think there is another reason beyond my love of bondage. I want to get Mrs. Lion more involved with me. I realized that this morning. The most significant reason I want to be in the device is that it may increase the interaction between my lioness and I.

I’m not being critical. She has made sure that she snuggles and teases me almost every night. Sadly for me, this is the only time we are actively connected. From the time she comes home until she decides to go to sleep, she plays games on her iPad. It’s true that I watch TV during that time. We have almost no interaction.

We aren’t really available to one another. The cage gives me a feeling of connection. If we play several nights a week, that’s another time we can be focused on each other. Our Super Bowl spanking game forced interaction all too many times that night. I loved every bit of it. Even though we were both focused on the game, we were also thinking of each other at the same time.

I’m not suggesting we spend all our time together staring at each other. But I think that we both need to be more focused on the same thing at least some of the time. In the past, Mrs. Lion has written that her constant immersion in her iPad is how she deals with stress and bad feelings. I asked her if that’s the case now. She denied it. I’m not saying she is lying, but something is going on. I hope it isn’t loss of interest in me as a friend and partner. I don’t want BDSM to be our main form of interaction. At this point it is.

Most of our communication as a couple takes place during the day by email. When we are home, the conversation is very limited. It’s pretty much discussion about dinner and Mrs. Lion’s day at work. We also talk about our posts. I wonder if over four years of daily posts and countless emails has changed us. Perhaps we’ve forgotten how to share in person.

Have we entered the world of the Millennials? Is the best way to communicate via electronic devices? I think that this has become the case with us. Take this post, for example. I’m expressing some fairly serious stuff here. Mrs. Lion will learn about my feelings for the first time when she reads it. Is that fair to her? Is this what we are now?

The chastity device is constant, physical evidence of our deep connection. It isn’t a wedding ring. It’s one of our only direct connections. We don’t have two-person sex. Mrs. Lion has lost her libido. That’s the glue for many couples. We have the chastity device that helps a sort of surrogate sex life. I enjoy it. I hope she does. Sadly, the way I will get the answer to this question will be via The Journal or email.

Active engagement with each other is essential. Talking alone is good – doing things is even better. My wife and I are taking guitar classes together, and I’m proactively avoiding some work commitments to make sure they happen – after all, which is really the more important?

I also completely understand that it feels good to be locked up again. I’m not sure why; The physical stimulation? The psychological reminder? I dunno, but it’s an undeniable feeling, at least for me.

I’m glad the iPad is out less! I’m sure that it wasn’t an indication of a drop in interest in Caged Lion by Mrs. Lion – it’s very relaxing sometimes to just absorb content, without having to take an active role in its production. The iPad and TV both fill this role.
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