Monday, September 26, 2011

Icon of Christ carrying His cross, Church of Panagia Dexia,Thessaloniki, Greece

"For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18 NASB BibleGateway.com

I have always read the following passage from the Gospel according to St Luke, with a sense of astonishment;"“But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away yourcoat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back.Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. If you love those who love you, whatcredit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do thesame.If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount.But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Fatheris merciful."Luke 6:27-36 NASB Source-BibleGateway.comThe commandment has a sense of absoluteness. It demands total and unconditional surrender of oneself. And I have to confess that I did not understand it. What Christ is asking seems inhumane!Does He mean this literally?, I continually asked myself. What kind of a person behaves in this way and is able to survive? And I thought, "there is no way I can fulfill this commandment!"I read St Silouan, "Blessed is the soul that loves her brother, for our brother is our life. Blessed is the soul that loves her brother: the Spirit of the Lord lives manifest within her, affording peace and gladness, and she weeps for the whole world." From 'St Silouan the Athonite' by Archimandrite Sophrony p.371, St Vladimir Seminary Press 1991Such words sound so simple but it takes a heart full of the Holy Spirit to understand. I thought, "Alright, maybe finding out what St Silouan means by 'love' will help, and immediately recalled 1 Corinthians 13, where it reads,“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek it's own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” NASB 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 And I despaired of ever beenable to live and experience this love.Then I read this passage from St Silouan;"The soul cannot know peace unless she prays for her enemies...The Lord taught me to love my enemies. Without the grace of God we cannot love our enemies. Only the Holy Spirit teaches love,..."And I realized that my feelings of impotence are warranted, that is, if I think I am called to have this love in the power of my human strength. The beloved Elder knows this and he has words ofencouragement for us, "To begin with, constrain your heart to love enemies, and the Lord,seeing your good will, will help you in all things, and experience itself will show you the way. But the man who thinks with malice of his enemies has not God's love within him, and does not know God.""If you cannot love, then at least do not revile or curse your enemies, and things will already be better; but if a man curses and abuses hisenemies, it is plain that an evil spirit lives in him, and if he does not repent, when he dies he will go to the place where evil spirits dwell.May the Lord preserve every soul from such adversity!" From, 'St Silouan the Athonite', p377 to p.378

The words are comforting but also bring fear, hopefully the fear of God. It is this fear that moves me to constrain myself and struggle towards God and not away from Him. God loves us so much, that His Providence makes a plan for us. How, you may ask? The beloved Bishop of Zicha knows very well how, as revealed by his prayer,

"LORD, BLESS MY ENEMIES, A Prayer by St. Nikolai of Ochrid

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Enemies have driven me into your embrace more than friends have. Friends have bound me to earth, enemies have loosed me from Earth and have demolished all my aspirations in the world. Enemies havemade me a stranger in worldly realms and an extraneous inhabitant of the world. Just as a hunted animal finds safer shelterthan an unhunted animal does, so have I, persecuted by enemies, found the safest sanctuary, having ensconced myself beneath Yourtabernacle, where neither friends nor enemies can slay my soul.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

They, rather than I, have confessed my sins before the world.They have punished me, whenever I have hesitated to punish myself.They have tormented me, whenever I have tried to flee torments.They have scolded me, whenever I have flattered myself. They have spat upon me, whenever I have filled myself with arrogance.

Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Whenever I have made myself wise, they have called me foolish. Whenever I have made myself mighty, they have mocked me as though I were a dwarf. Whenever I have wanted to lead people, they have shoved me into the background. Whenever I have rushedto enrich myself, they have prevented me with an iron hand. Whenever I thought that I would sleep peacefully, they have wakened me from sleep. Whenever I have tried to build a home for a long and tranquil life, they have demolished it and driven me out. Truly, enemies have cut me loose from the world and have stretched out my hands to the hem of your garment.

Bless my enemies, Ο Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them.

Bless them and multiply them; multiply them and make them even more bitter against me: so that my fleeing to You may have no return;so that all hope in men may be scattered like cobwebs; so that absolute serenity may begin to reign in my soul; so that my heart maybecome the grave of my two evil twins: arrogance and anger; so that I might amass all my treasure in heaven; ah, so that I may foronce be freed from self-deception, which has entangled me in the dreadful web of illusory life. Enemies have taught me to know whathardly anyone knows, that a person has no enemies in the world except himself. One hates his enemies only when he fails to realizethat they are not enemies, but cruel friends. It is truly difficult for me to say who has done me more good and who has done me more evil in the world: friends or enemies. Therefore bless, Ο Lord, bothmy friends and my enemies. A slave curses enemies, for he does not understand. But a son blesses them, for he understands. For a son knows that his enemies cannot touch his life. Therefore he freely steps among them and prays to God for them. Bless my enemies, O Lord. Even I bless them and do not curse them."From 'Prayer LXXV, Prayers by the Lake p.142-144, Bishop Nikolai Velimirovich, Trans. by Rt. Rev. Archimandrite Todor Mitka, 1999 ORTHODOX HERITAGE. APRIL 2005. BROTHERHOOD OF ST. POIMEN SourceImmediately two things seem very clear, I must pray to God with perseverance to be able to learn to love my enemies, and I must trust in, and submit to God's Providence as revealed in the circumstances of my life.Father Zacharias Zacharou explains, "God's commandments are beyond man's conception and power to fulfill. We are humbled from the moment we come in contact with them. The commandments of God have the specific effect of crushing the arrogance of our darkened minds and hearts as to clear the way for grace to dwell within us. They shed light on our imperfection, on our spiritual poverty and weakness, so that we cry out to God from the heart, asking Him to come and fulfill His own commandments in us. Thisis the only way, as He Himself said, "Without Me ye can do nothing." John 15:5From 'Remember Thy First Love' p.318, by Archimandrite Zacharias Zacharou, Stravopegic Monastery of St John the Baptist, Essex, England, 2010"The very greatness of loving our enemies is obvious from this simple example: if we have a misunderstanding with someone and we ourselves are to blame, how difficult we find it to humble ourselves and say, 'Forgive me, I made a mistake' But how much greater the crucifixion of ourselves if we are to love someone who has provoked us, even as our conscience tells us that we are blameless. This, however is the way of Christ, Who loved us unto the end even whilewe were His enemies. ..Love for one's enemies, then, is the 'madness' of our faith, 'the foolishness of the cross'. And woe unto him who does not accept this foolishness! His is foolishness of a different kind: 'The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God' Psalm 14:1. There is indeed no God for him, for he is unmoved at seeing Christ-God with arms outstretchedupon the cross in love for His enemies. Such a fool is so hardened that the word of life, the word of the cross, no longer penetrates his heart.And this word is the one that speaks most eloquently to us of what love for our enemies truly is." Ibid p.320-321I am speechless! With pain of heart I acknowledge that I do not yet possess this love. But I can pray, I can ask, "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me! Transform my heart of stone. I believe, help my unbelief!"And while I pray, there is also something else I can do, I can start to act as if I had this love...

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Sixth LetterYou write about anger in the heart of a fool"So listen to me once again. Lay a solid foundation. Build a beautiful little palace in the heavens. Clean the inside of thecup, as the Lord instructs us, so that the outside becomesclean as well, because everything done with the body resembles leaves which merely decorate the outer man. Those works are well and good, but everything I have writtento you about previously is what cleanses a person internally.These things will open the eyes of the soul. It is through themthat the heart is purified to see God on that day. For without noetic work, there is little benefit from outer works.

If you do not see tears pouring forth every time you rememberGod, you suffer from ignorance, which leads to pride and hardness of heart. So let humility serve as a garment in allyour actions, and become a sponge in the brotherhood that mops up every reproach and abasement. Do not water yoursoul with honors and praises but with reproaches andaccusations, even if you are innocent.Never seek to find what is just, because then you are unjust.On the contrary, learn to endure temptations bravely, regardlessof what kind the Lord permits. Without a lot of excuses, just say, "Forgive me !" and without actually being at fault, repent as ifyou were. Do so with conviction of soul; not just outwardlyadmitting to be at fault for the sake of praise, while inwardlyjudging.

During times of affliction do not seek human consolation, so that God may console you.

The bridge we must all cross is to forgive the transgressions of others. However if you don't forgive them, you destroy the bridgethat you should have crossed. So become a good model andexample to others through your good and God-pleasing deedsand do not wish to defeat everyone with your words.

Do not think that you will find rest when you speak out seeking justice for yourself. Justice is to endure with braverythe temptation that comes so that you emerge victorious, whetheror not you are at fault. But if you say, "But why?", you are fighting against God Who sent the afflictions because of yourpassionate* (see notes below) condition. God disciplines us sothat we reach dispassion. Thus, if you do not endure it, truly youare fighting against God.

You write about anger in the heart of a fool. Anger in itself is natural. Just as the body has nerves, the soul has anger. Every-one should use it against the demons, heretics, and anyone who hinders us from the path of God. However, if you get angry withyour fellow brothers, or get in a rage and ruin the works of your hands, know that you are suffering from vainglory and are abusing the nerve of your soul. You are delivered from this passion through love towards all and true humility.

Therefore when anger comes, close your mouth tightly, and donot speak to him who curses, dishonors, reproaches or bothersyou in any way without reason. Then this snake will writhe aroundin your heart, rise up to your throat, and (since you don't give it away out) will choke and suffocate. When this is repeated severaltimes, it will diminish and cease entirely.

Since man was created rational and gentle, he is corrected farbetter with love and gentleness than with anger and harshness.after much and through testing, I have also found that withgoodness and love you can pacify many. And if someone is of good intentions, you can quickly make him comply and becomeand angel of God.

So this is what I would say to you and to everyone: never seekto correct each other with anger, but only with humility and sincere love, because one temptation does not cast out anothertemptation. When you see anger ahead, forget about correctingfor the moment. Once you see that the anger has passed, thatpeace has come, and that your powers of discernment are functioning correctly, then you can speak beneficially.

I have never seen anyone corrected through anger, but always through love: and then he will even make sacrifices. Therefore,this is how you should act. Take yourself for example: how areyou pacified - with curses or with love?

Don't you marvel at the words of that saint in 'The Sayings of theDesert Fathers', "An angry and irritable man is not accepted inthe kingdom of God even if he raises the dead!" ?

Notes:Passionate-The word 'passionate' in this text is not used in any of thesecular senses of the word, but it is used to describesomeone or something subject to the passions.Passion-A passion is a spiritual disease that dominates the soul. When one repeatedly falls into a certain sin, it becomes second nature-a passion-for him to keep falling into this sin. Thus, one who misuses the God given powers of thesoul, of desire and anger, or one who succumbs to temptations of lust, hate, malice, or jealousy, or one whosuccumbs to pride and vainglory, acquires those passions.It is primarily through obedience to an experienced elderthat one is cleansed or healed of the passions and reachesdispassion.

Friday, September 9, 2011

"The flames crept up to the edge of their buildings and a cemetery, leaving the wooden crosses intact." KOMO NewsThe last few days have been stressful for our community. The forest near our beloved monastery is on fire and it threatens the homesand very lives of our friends and family.

For many years our church community has been struggling tirelesslyto help the monastic community establish itself and build the facilitiesrequired. Many young women eagerly await for the construction to befinished so they can move to the monastery and begin their monasticvocation.

Needless to say, when I heard the news of the fire I was in tears. As ifthe threat to the lives and homes of my loved ones wasn't enough, I had another concern, how are we going to be able to identify the tombs of our dear ones buried in the cemetery?

I am having flashbacks. I can see Fr Thomas serving in our parish. I remember Iannis and Photini seating at the table with me for dinner.The memories come rushing one after another. Here we are, carrying Fr Thomas' coffin to his grave. The silence on that occasion was deafening but we were not without hope. Christ is risen from the dead!But the fire receded. It reached the cross on Iannis' tomb and it receded!The fire reached the cross on Fr Thomas' tomb and it receded! The monastery buildings and my friends' homes have also been spared. I maystill walk to Photini's resting place and pray.Glory to God!

Let us pray for those who are still in harm's way,

"Psalm 91NKJV Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God

1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.”

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler And from the perilous pestilence. 4 He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. 5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor of the arrow that flies by day, 6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side, And ten thousand at your right hand; But it shall not come near you. 8 Only with your eyes shall you look, And see the reward of the wicked.

9 Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge, Even the Most High, your dwelling place, 10 No evil shall befall you, Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; 11 For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways. 12 In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone. 13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. 15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation.”

We Shall See Him As He Is by Archimandrite Sophrony Sakharov, ISBN 0-9512786-4-9

Wisdom. Let Us Attend: Job, The Fathers, and The Old Testament by Johanna Manley, ISBN: 0-9622536-4-2

Words of Life by Archimandrite Sophrony, Trans. by Sister Magdalen, ISBN1-874679-11-8

Writings from The Philokalia On Prayer of The Heart, Trans. by E. Kadloubovsky and G.E.H. Palmer, ISBN: 0-571-16393-9

This is a journal of my experience as

an Orthodox Christian with an

emphasis on my inner struggle, in

particular; the search for the 'heart'

and its purification, which is the way

to God and to our participation in

His Uncreated Energy.It includes photos and stories of my

travels to Greece, Serbia, Israel and

England.

An Orthodox Pilgrim

"Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it" Matthew 7:14

“Bear in mind that for cleansing your heart from sins you will obtain an infinite reward- you will see God, your most gracious creator, your providence. The work of cleansing the heart is difficult, because it is connected with great privations and afflictions; and therefore, the reward is great. ‘Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God’Matt. 5:8 St John of Kronstadt

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'The soul that has known the Lord

wants to see Him within her at all

times, for the Lord enters the soul

in quietness and gives her peace,

and bears silent witness to

salvation" St Silouan of Athos

"At the edge of your heart the Lord is standing with a tall candle that burns without smoking or melting. The Lord is standing and waiting at your invitation, to bring the candle into your heart and enlighten it, to burn up all the fear in your heart, all its selfish passions and all its ugly desires, and to drive out of your heart all the smoke and foul stench. At the edge of your mind the Lord is standing with His wisdom and with His Word, ready, at your invitation, to enter into it and drive out all its foolish thoughts, all its filthy fancies, and all its mistaken notions, and to erase from your mind all nonexistent images — the Lord is standing and waiting to introduce His reason, His seals, and His words." St Nikolai Velimirovich in Prayers by the Lake LXXIX

A Prayer by St Dimitri of Rostov

Open, O doors and bolts of my heart that Christ the King of Glory may enter!Enter, O my Light and enlighten my darkness;enter, O my Life, and resurrect my deadness;enter, O my Physician and heal my wounds;enter, O Divine Fire, and burn up the thorns of my sins;ignite my inward parts and my heart with the flame of Thy love;enter, O my King, and destroy in me the kingdom of sin;sit on the throne of my heart and alone reign in me,O Thou, my King and Lord.

The Heart is the Battlefield of Our Salvation

What is the heart?, "Thus, asthe bodily heart is the centerof the body's life, the spiritualheart is the center of ourspiritual life",Fr Spyridon Logothetis

Where is the heart? "The heartis within our chest. When wespeak of the heart, we speak ofour spiritual heart which coinci-des with the fleshly one; butwhen man receives illuminationand sanctification, then hiswhole being becomes a heart".Fr Zacharias Zacharou

"(God) is the One who hasfashioned the heart of every manin an unique and unrepeatable way"Fr Zacharias Zacharou.

"It is astonishingly great that Godthe Father, poured from His Spirita noetic sensation (noera aesthisis)or breath to the bodily hearts ofthose who rightly believed in theincarnate Logos". St Kallistos

A heart that has been made aliveby the waters of holy baptism andregeneration of the Holy Spirit hasthe kingdom of God within, "thekingdom of God is within you".Luke 17:21

"Since the kingdom of God is withinus, the heart is the battlefield ofour salvation, and all ascetic effortis aimed at cleansing it of allfilthiness, and preserving it purebefore the Lord". Fr Zacharias

The darkness and desolation of aheart ravished by sin is indeedapalling. In a heart that has notbeen purified, "there aredragons and there are lions;there are poisonous beasts andall the treasures of evil".St Macarius

"For it is within you, that is, itdepends upon your own wills, andit is in your own power, whetheror not you receive it. For everyman who has attained tojustification by means of faith inChrist, and is adorned by allvirtue, is counted worthy of thekingdom of heaven".St Cyril of Alexandria

And with the kingdom we receiveall the treasures of Grace. "Butthere is also God, also the angels,the life and the kingdom, the lightand the apostles, the treasures ofGrace -there are all things".St Macarius

Give me understanding, that I may keep your law and observe it with my whole heart.Lead me in the path of yourcommandments, for I delight in it.Turn my heart to your decrees, andnot to selfish gain.Turn my eyes from looking at vanities; give me life in your ways.Psalm 119:34-37

Prayer of Archimandrite Sophrony of Essex

"Oh Lord, I am weak. Thou knowest

this. In fear I seek the way to Thee.

Despise me not. Forsake me not in

my fall. Draw near even unto me,

who am of no account, yet I thirst

after Thee. Take up Thine abode

in me and do Thou Thyself perform

in me all that Thou hast

commanded of us. Make me Thine

for ever and ever, in love

unshakeable."

Recommended Reading List is at the bottom of the posts.

About Me

I am a lay Orthodox Christian.
Education: B.Sc. Biology and Chemistry, University of Puerto Rico, Mayaguez, P.R.; The George Washington University, Medical Technology, Associate member of the American Society for Clinical Pathology