Re: Revisionland

Did about a chapter of revision over the past few days, which I am pleased with.I have been busy over the last few days: making chocolates, being commandeered by the cat.

It was a big night last night: John was conferred for his first year in web design. His mother didn't even bother turning up. So, myself and Morgan went to our city hall to see the affair. It was crammed and we stood for four hours, watching the entire college receive their certs.I'm proud of John though. It's taken him a long time to get here.I'm glad I went: there are some peculiar characters at these events. One of them was a perfect portrayal of my character.Only five chapters to go. I didn't realise how short this story was until I typed it up, but I've been informed that it is a perfect length and that I shouldn't change too much with it.Always good to hear.

RaE: baby naming books are handy. I tend to stay away from "trendy" names because they change so much. Or using surnames as Christian names. I know of someone called Griffin, that's my surname and it sounds so wrong. No offence intended to anyone.

Mind you, my uncle is called Brian Griffin. I can never watch Family Guy: there was an episode where Brian was giving advice and referred to as Doctor Brian Griffin.My uncle is a heart surgeon!

Re: Revisionland

Happy Belated Thanksgiving to everyone in here! I'm trying to sit down and do some revisions, but my heart just isn't in it tonight. I think I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe it's from doing all the Black Friday shopping that has made me tired! Plus, both my boys had the pukey flu these past few days, fortunately they both bypassed Thanksgiving though. One got it on Tuesday to Wednesday, the other started puking at 11:00 last night, after Thanksgiving.

Speaking of names, like Thunderingelephants, I tend use the baby books too, it's nice to get the different spellings of the names. I also tend to use names that I can create easy nicknames that don't sound cheesy.

Anyway, I know my post is kind of random, so I'll stop rambling on now. Good night all!

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I am excited that an old friend has edited MSs before and she said she would take mine in and give it a whirl. She did edit for a book that did get published but I can't remember who it was. I will find out this week and let you know (as I am sure you all can't wait ) .

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Glad you had a good time, Mark.I'm huddled with the Vulcan enjoying the warmth of my hot water bottle (he is, I am not). I discovered today that my conclusion has to be totally re-evaluated. It doesn't seem to make sense. Maybe that's I've read it too many times. Thankfully I have a back-up. I will try that. If it doesn't, it's time for a deep breath and maybe the bin. That's a last resortI might have to keep breathing for a while. :

(Sorry I've been out of the loop. I never knew how much work releasing a book was. And HUGE THANKS to Pat Esden who will host an interview with me on her blog next week. I know someone else offered, too, but my tiny brain forgot who...)

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My editor sent me an email concerning my MS. It seems that I have a great deal to learn. This is something I was expecting but not in the depth that she has pointed out. I think the only thing that she will allow me to keep constant with this MS is that I can keep writing it in English.

She told me that the main problem I am having is that sometimes I am "telling" what is happening and then sometimes I am "showing" what is happening. I am sure she will explain this to me.

Also, the story has a rushed feel to it. Too much happening too fast without enough explanation. This I attribute to me having just chapters stapled together and called a book. I am not surprised by this.

Oh well. Back to the keyboard to start all over, again. I am not in the least bit discouraged by this turn of events because it means I get to sit down and get more comfortable with my characters and work hard to become a better writer. I can't quit now just because I got a "Dope-Slap" to the back of the head. Why just last week as I was driving to work and I came up with a new main protaganist, the first human characters and an storyline called "The Golden Mosquito". I can't quit.

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Mark, it's fantastic that you got feedback and know where to start your next revision. The ideas are easy, the first drafts are challenging, but the magic happens in the learning and revising, and revising, and revising . . .

Speaking of which. I'm starting another round of revision. But I'm feeling I may be jinxing myself, but I think the end is in sight!

Re: Revisionland

Speaking of which. I'm starting another round of revision. But I'm feeling I may be jinxing myself, but I think the end is in sight!

You are not jinxing yourself. Jinxing yourself would be thinking you can't do this. But you know you can... Here is a little motivation for you..

It is 3:30 AM EST and writing since 11:00 PM. Gotta strike while the iron is hot the saying goes methinks. I have finished an outline on an entirely new plot to my story. I have introduced an American Indian character along with the last 3 dogs my Mom had. They are all gone now but I am bringing them back.

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"I think the only thing that she will allow me to keep constant with this MS is that I can keep writing it in English."

Lol! Er. I'm sure you are not alone in that feeling, however...

Yay, Laura!

I am back in this trench. Which at first made me feel but now I'm seeing the possibilities. Well, one of those possibilities involves removing my brain and turning it inside out and vacuuming it for lint and then stitching embroidered stars on it. Which might be easier than actually revising this thing...

I'm still stuck here but I am really enjoying this trench for a change. I'd forgotten how ridiculous gormless my character is. Maybe too many traits of myself in there.

OT: has anyone heard of the Lindt Chocolate Company? There was a lady representative in my local supermarket doing a promotion and I just happened to drop into conversation that I made them with beer. She seemed interested so I brought her a sample. She told if she had the right connections she would bring them to the right people, but she is a "mere" salesperson. It was a nice dream.Like getting a book published.I started gathering spices for my mulled wine truffles around Christmas time if anyone is interested.A friend of mine drew a picture of my characters' space shuttle as a favour. I love it. It kind of spurred into revision action again.

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To everyone else: What are you doing reading this- back to revision, back! This guy sort of looks like an evil taskmaster... And I actually need to have him sitting on my shoulder tonight while I try and resist the temptation to watch a movie instead of jumping back into revising.

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Thundering, Lindt is the true and only chocolate company in the galaxy. I am sad every year that we can't get their Christmas chocolate in the States. But any of it is fantastic!

This revision. It's making me crazy. It feels very vague, which is why I still have not been able to nail it. It's like the character isn't...enough. Not loud enough? Not interesting enough? I don't know, he does plenty of interesting things. And heaven knows he is chatty enough in my head! But I'm having a hard time getting it onto the page, or figuring out what to add to make it right. (I'm sure it doesn't help that I've spent all week trying to get Christmas in the mail, and that now that it's the weekend, all my kids are home and hovering over the computer.) But all you revising experts: what do you do when you're told that the voice isn't distinctive enough? I mean, I can tell you stuff about my character, but do you have any kind of system you use to make this kind of revision easier? Like, do you make a pass to check for appropriate reactions? Internal commentary? All the verbs? Something? I need to feel like I have a system for actually accomplishing something here. (And then I need to be able to do it, naturally.) Ideas?

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Not a system, olmue, but I like to think about how my character would react to situations in daily life. So I'm stuck in traffic--what would she do? Fume? Hop on the hood and lip synch to her radio until traffic starts moving again? And so on. I get a more complete picture of my character, and I think that helps with voice.

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I have a harder time with character than plot. Did you ask the CPs why they felt this way? Knowing what they meant by distinctive might help, even if their answer is vague. The CP may be wrong about what they are detecting, but right that something is off.

I think Dews is right, it could be a matter of making the character's reactions more individual and consistent. Also you could try adding more emotional depth by adding backstory that shows why the character reacts the way they do. Like the when stuck in traffic, the character always starts to lip synch to traffic but her throat chokes up because it remind her of her crazy singing grandma who used always make car trips fun until she got in an accident and died. It could be the character's desire isn't clear enough--what it is they want that drives them to do what they do.

I've probably already mentioned it at some point, but I'm a narrative breakdown fan. Cheryl Klein's book on revision is my favorite, but I tend to 'get' writing advice better when I hear it as well as read it.

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Thanks for the link--I'll listen to that, Pat. The feedback isn't from crit partners, it's vague comments from editors, which makes it even trickier. They like the plot and the humor but aren't getting a strong enough sense of character, or the voice isn't coming through strong enough, or something. I've done a number of revisions already, trying to add in backstory and sub plots and stuff to strengthen the personal character arc, but I think I've made it weaker, not stronger. The thing is, *I* have a very strong sense of his character, and know exactly how he'd react in a variety of situations, but somehow it's not coming through on the page. So I guess I'm thinking aloud and trying to figure out which sorts of places in the text are the most important places/highest real estate value, if you will, to bump up reactions and interpretations and such so that it's almost over the top, so that readers can see what I'm seeing.

Plot is SO much easier to revise for. I feel like I have gloves on and am walking around in the dark in a room full of cotton, searching for the Braille instructions on how to get out of here.

Re: Revisionland

Z-cat

Guest

Hi crew! I have to also thank Pat for the link :

I have been waaaay to busy in non-writing life, and it has totally gotten in the way of writing time. But no more! I have to get this current pass done before winter break starts for the kid. And good news - we had an outing planned for today, but then it decided to snow 6", so we're hunkering down inside with cocoa and rice krispie treats and books.

Olmue - I think I agree with the "over the top" direction. So many times I have thought I was being way to obvious, when I was really being impossibly subtle.

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Olmue, the other possibility is how other character's talk about and react to your character. But I'm with you about the over revising. That can kill a story. Maybe you just need to do some free writing That is a super frustrating situation.

I'm reading out loud and waiting to get feedback from a CP. And getting ready to start a new WIP.

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Rose- so sorry you're having a rough time! Sometimes even taking a break from the story can help too. And lots of daydreaming. I like to take time and read a bunch of books and then write down notes of what made me be able to relate to the characters. It might give you some ideas.

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Welcome to Revisionland, Mark! It sounds like your muse is giving you great ideas to beef-up your plotline. Good luck!

Pat - Thanks so much! (I'm a Twitter refusenik. lol) It's great you have an optimistic feeling about your revisions. I think it's due to really understanding your book, and you will NOT jinx yourself. Keep going!

Olmue - Thanks! This was hilarious --> "Well, one of those possibilities involves removing my brain and turning it inside out and vacuuming it for lint and then stitching embroidered stars on it." And lordy I wish there was a system to create character voice. I'd be on that thing like a bear on a honey tree. I was about to suggest adding humor/sarcasm but see you say the editors like the humor. Then perhaps more inner thoughts about his goals or his fears?

Thundering - You have a new avatar! It's so cute! Your friend is so great for giving you that space ship picture! Publishing is a dream for so many writers. The only way to make it come true is to keep working -- and you do that! Keep believing! :

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Jody, you will, and you are here for real I just threw some snow on you from the quarter inch we go the other day, did you feel it? How much did you get?Lindsey, distractions! Who can get any writing done in December? Day job and gift shopping, etc. I give up. Cocoa and rice krispies and books sound wonderfulLaura!! I just peeked on Amazon! How cool! Congrats!!! Mark, yay for plot happy dances!Rose, so sorry for your frustration I agree with Christy-- read and forget for a bit. Sometimes it takes just a week or two away to see it new.Patty, you're starting a new WIP? You are a machine!

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Olmue: you are the complete opposite of me. I am completely character driven, to the point that when I am writing in a public place, I don't see who's around me. There are so many times that I am "there" but I haven't noticed my friends enter and and sit in front of me. My mind is stuck in that of the characters and most of the time, they are as chatty as I can be, so I am stuck in the midst of their dialogue. One of my fiendish friends photographed me in mid-flow with pen and paper and posted it on Facebook. I retaliated by thrashing him on Scrabble.Laura: that was a drawing a lady from Germany drew for me. As well as a rocket and a picture of my two current characters. It's brilliant. That is another reason why I enjoy writing in public.I keep writing because I have three options: stay at home and make truffles or watch television. I won't do the latter because I find it boring most of the time. And there are so many hours you can spend in the kitchen.No lunch again until 430 today (which I was chastised for). I was revising over a brew (and a half, I love being a regular). It does mean I've had to cut out a huge chunk of the central climax of the story because it doesn't make sense, but it has given my characters scope to learn more and I am certain two young boys wouldn't knock that back.I'll be off to make more sweets in a while. Which do I with my mulled wine? Drink or infuse into chocolate? I drank half of it last night. Cheap and not very nice. But that was before I put any spice into it. It is a dilemma.Talk to you guys tomorrow, probably.Rose: get your manuscript, print it, put it into a folder then insert it into a cupboard for a month or so. Then you scrawl all over it. That's what I've been doing for the past month, but that was after I hadn't looked at since August. I agree with the others. It works. : or : That's the theory anyway. Good luck.

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Ah, thanks, Shanny! By the time your snow arrived down south it turned to a little poof of frozen fog. My kids did not have school yesterday due to hazardous roads, but the district I work for DID have school, so I braved the roads and commuted safely. Freezing rain is predicted today.

Thundering, I'm much the same way. My characters are always talking to me, and I count on them to tell me their stories. The MC in my WIP is particularly chatty. I wish there was a market for a book in which the main character just chats the entire way about random issues. If there was, I was have two books sold already.

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Thundering - Whether you write at home or outside, it's cool as long as you write! And if you've found a place that inspires you - that's awesome! Glad to hear about the German lady and all the beautiful pictures.

Jody - Thanks! I hope you get an agent and edits very soon. Things happen when you least expect them. I hope the weather in your area lets up.Pat - Thank you SO much! I had a great time with the interview.

On Friday the 13th, snow fell in Cairo for the first time in 100 years. I found some great pics of snow on the pyramids and sphinx and put them up on my blog. (See below for addy.) One of these days I'm going to actually start writing again...