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The lovely woman I’m about to introduce to you all this week is perhaps one of the most resilient human beings I have come to know. Her posts are honest, raw and give a clear picture of what life with autoimmune disease(s) is like. Even though she has been through plenty of trials and tribulations, Kenzie has faith and remains beautiful and looks for the good through it all. Her motto, #bethecactus, is so fitting to describe her. Make sure to check her and her sweet dog Ophie out on her website hereand Instagram @accordingtokenz

Thank you so much for sharing your story Kenz!

You are one of the lucky gals that has the gift of the diagnosis that just keeps on coming. Will you please share your current diagnoses?

My primary diagnoses are rheumatoid arthritis, Addison’s disease, inflammatory bowel disease, and lyme disease. We’re still ‘sorting out’ a lot of the specifics, but my Addison’s disease is well-controlled for the first time since I was diagnosed in June, and my RA is responding very well to my current treatment!

So, you’ve been through a lot of first times receiving the news that your life is going to change, yet again. Can you share what it feels like when you receive a new diagnosis?

It’s frustrating, obviously, and it’s hurtful…also obviously! The very first time I was told I had rheumatoid arthritis, I experienced a lot of relief because I finally had something tangible to account for my symptoms. I could’ve never imagined at that time that I’d go through the “newly diagnosed” stage with 3 other diseases, too!

What medications/treatments/surgeries/lifestyle changes have you gone through to manage your disease symptoms?

I’m currently on 10 oral medications, 2 IV infused medications (Remicade and iron sucrose) and a once weekly injectable therapy called Methotrexate.

Ophie is absolutely adorable, and I love that she is in your life. How does she help you cope with everyday chronic life?

Ophie holds me accountable on days when I’d rather not get out of bed due to feeling overwhelmed, depressed, etc. She also provides special comfort on the days when I cannot get out of bed due to pain, swelling, and other debilitating symptoms. She’s taught me a lot about patience and simply enjoying each day for what it brings — good or bad. She’s motivated me to keep active and her personality is such a reminder to not take anything too seriously!

What other coping mechanisms do you use most often?

I do a lot of journaling/writing in solitude. Walking with Ophie, practicing yoga, employing mindfulness strategies, coloring, spending time outdoors, snuggling up with a heated blanket, and reading often distract me from distressing days/outcomes!

Who inspires you?

People who are out there making things happen in spite of the hand of cards they’ve been dealt. Britt Johnson, aka “HurtBlogger” is one of my closest friends who is living proof that we can find joy in the most difficult seasons. I’m also deeply inspired by literature, and psychology experts in particular. Kay Redfield Jamison, Emily Dickinson, Sylvia Plath, Henri Nouwen, and Laura Ingalls Wilder are just a few of my favorite individuals.

Sometimes it is hard to see the light in the darkness, but what is the best thing you’ve find about having chronic illnesses?

The numerous connections and friendships I’ve formed with other individuals who fight a chronic illness day in + day out just like I do. Becoming active on my blog and on Instagram has allowed me to connect with more people who “get it” than I could have ever imagined or thought possible! It’s a really, really special community to tap into.

What keeps you hopeful?

Reflecting on the truth(s) so evident in my life. I’ve been taken down so many times by both chronic and mental illness, and I’ve made it through each and every one of those difficult seasons. Somehow. Some way. My strong faith in something so much more perfect and Heavenly following this life gives me the courage I need to face each day with a certain stubborn minded resilience that hasn’t failed me yet. 🙂

What have you accomplished that you are most proud of?

Traveling has always been an important part of my life and spirit. There was a time when I thought I had to give that up. I’m always proud to reflect on the adventures I’ve taken even though the odds are often stacked against me. In spite of chronic illness and many, many complications, I’ve traveled to South Africa, Swaziland, Jamaica, Germany, England, France, Austria, Alaska, California, Colorado, Texas, Illinois, Pennsylvania, and Washington D.C. over the past several years. The list of places I want to go grows longer and longer as the list of places I’ve been grows, too!

Do you have a saying or quote or song that you turn to when you need to flip your mood around?

I’m notorious for ending a good vent session/medical field misadventure story with… “…but, if you don’t laugh, you’re gonna cry!” Disclaimer: I often do both! 😉

I’ve also adopted the motto + hashtag #BeTheCactus after a good friend likened me to the cacti family’s resilient, hardy nature. They withstand even the most treacherous conditions while remaining wondrous and beautiful.

I love memoirs. My favorite would have to be Kay Redfield Jamison’s “An Unquiet Mind.” Kate Middleton is a timeless, classic style icon of mine that I keep up with relatively closely. My latest TV obsession is the Game of Thrones series.

Okay, Rapid Fire time!

Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla

Coffee or tea? Tea

Injection or IV? IV

Hot or cold? Cold

Sweet or sour? Sour

Charmin or Cottonelle? Cottonelle! Always Cottonelle!

Dog or cat? Dog!

Running or walking? A few years ago I would have said running…but I’m a walking girl now!

Road trip vacation or resort vacation? Road trip!

Yoga or Cardio? Yoga

Android or iPhone? iPhone

Sunshine or rainy day? Sunshine

Dinner out at a restaurant or a nice home cooked meal? Nothing like a home cooked meal!

Doing the dishes or doing laundry? Laundry

Comedy or horror? Comedy

Fiction or nonfiction? Nonfiction

Cake or pie? Pie

An audiobook or a netflix marathon? A good, true-crime podcast! Does that count? 🙂

When I woke up from the anesthesia after my colonoscopy in 2013, I was told that I had Ulcerative Colitis and that there was no cure. I was told there were treatment options available and we would discuss them next week.

And that was it.

I wish that there was not any more IBD diagnosis. Unfortunately, it is becoming more prevalent and pediatric cases are increasing as well. Every year 70,000 people are diagnosed with IBD. Let’s give these people some hope. I recently found out that the office I used to seek treatment for my Ulcerative Colitis will not hand out the new patient packets for their IBD patients. Free resources that they won’t utilize. This is unacceptable.

was left to my own devices to search the internet and social media trying to figure out what the hell was happening with my body. I was given very little hope and a whole lot of fear. At the time, there were less than 100 hashtagged #ulcerativecolitis posts on Instagram. Now there are over 127,000.

I don’t want anyone to ever wake up to those words again and be left to read the worst of the worst on chat forums on Google. There are so many resources available now, and so many treatment options that remission is possible if you have the right care team and find what works for you. This is why I walk for the Crohns and Colitis Foundation. Come join me on Sunday, October 1st at 1pm at Hawk Island (1601 E Cavanaugh Rd, Lansing, MI 48910) and take a walk with me.

I was lucky enough to meet Jordan in person at an Ulcerative Colitis Patient Panel hosted by Pfizer about a year ago. He was one of the first patients with a jpouch that I had ever met in person, and he gave me hope that if I ever had to take that route for treatment, my life wouldn’t be over. Instead of letting the diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis shatter his life, he’s taken this new lifestyle as a second chance to enjoy as much as possible. Thanks for taking the time to answer a few questions and share your story, Jordan!

When were you diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis?

I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in June of 2010.

What do you remember most about that day? Looking back, if you could tell yourself one thing about the diagnosis you were about to receive, what would it be?

I remember waking up from the colonoscopy and having my mom in the recovery room with me. I was still pretty out of it but my doctor said he could tell right away it was UC. I was pretty cloudy for most of the afternoon and I don’t think the severity of the diagnosis really sunk in until the follow up appointment. Looking back, if I could tell myself one thing about the diagnosis, it would probably be to make sure to listen to my body. There were times where I was so consumed with having the right mental attitude about it that sometimes I would ignore the obvious physical pain I’d be in.

I love that you hashtag some of your posts #lifeisa10. Will you share a bit about what life is like with a jpouch? What other medications/treatments/surgeries/lifestyle changes have you gone through to manage your disease symptoms?

Yeah that’s the hashtag I thought of using for all of my Instagram posts! It just sums up how I feel now. I’ve been living with a healthy j-pouch since the spring of 2013. It really has given me a second lease on life. I was in real bad shape before my surgeries. Of course, life is different now, and as cliche as it sounds, it is a “new normal”. But it’s so much better than being sick. I went through the catalog of medication before my surgeries, pills, enemas, infusions, suppositories, etc. Now the only thing I take is a multi-vitamin and a probiotic. A lot different from the days of 18-20 pills a day. I also pay attention to my diet and exercise, eating pretty clean 6 days a week or so and working out just about every day, at least once a day. The mental benefits are just as important as the physical benefits I’ve found.

By the way, congratulations on making the homepage for the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation! Love what you are doing to raise money for the foundation. I really can’t pick between you or Will riding shirtless, so I’m donating to both campaigns. Either way, so fun! What is your favorite part about being an IBD Advocate?

Thank you! Yeah this whole riding shirtless bet has given me a ton of new motivation to stay in shape! We’re humbled to have been chosen as the national faces of the spin4 crohn’s & colitis cures event for the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation. My favorite part of being an IBD advocate is the opportunity to travel while helping others. I’ve been lucky enough to go to Washington, D.C., Fort Lauderdale, Orlando, New York, San Francisco and Atlanta while sharing my story and contributing to different advocacy projects. I’ve made it my mission to be a voice of positivity among IBD advocates because I feel there is a lot of negativity out there, especially in the online communities. I didn’t have anyone I could talk to who had gone through what I went through, so I want to be that guy people can turn to. I feel like if we can use our past experiences to help someone, it’s our duty to do so.

What are some of your other favorite things to do outside of IBD awareness and education?

(favorite books, music, podcasts, hobbies, activities)

Outside of creating IBD awareness I enjoy my “day job” which is a Realtor in Orange County, California. Another opportunity for me to help people. My hobbies and passions include fitness, reading (I’m in a book club and read a new book each month), riding my motorcycle, traveling, cooking (more importantly, eating!), and just spending time with friends.

What is something you have accomplished that you are most proud of?

I can think of two accomplishments right off the top of my head that I feel most proud of. I was able to study for and successfully pass the state real estate exam from a hospital bed. It was during the 5 month period of my j-pouch surgeries when I had some downtime and was able to study and take the necessary tests. The second thing is all the advocacy work I’ve been able to accomplish just since September of 2016. It’s given me a renewed sense of purpose and I’m really passionate about using my experience to help others.

Who inspires you?

Someone that inspires me is my friend/mentor Jay O’Brien. I’ve known him for about 16-17 years. He recruited me to work with him in the real estate office. The way he handles his business inspires me to strive to provide the best experience possible for my clients. Not only that, he’s also one of the most generous and selfless people I’ve ever met. He continually does things for others, not expecting anything in return or recognition.

What are some of your coping mechanisms for dealing with stress?

I’m not sure if I have any coping mechanisms for stress. I think I’m pretty lucky that I’ve trained myself to be more patient and calm these days. I do a pretty good job of letting things roll off my back and not taking too much too seriously. I use exercise as a way of meditation. Whether it’s weightlifting or indoor cycling, I use that time to clear my head and recharge.

What has been the best thing that has happened so far that would not have happened if you did not have IBD?

Other than meeting other amazing advocates like you? Honestly, the people I’ve met through my advocacy work have been absolutely incredible. Being introduced to the IBD community has been one of my life’s highlights.

What keeps you hopeful?

What keeps me hopeful is the thought that the best is yet to come. So far things are getting better and better and I can’t wait to see where things are headed.

Do you have a favorite saying, quote, mantra or song that you turn to when you need to flip your mood around?

Life is a 10! I am always reminding myself that it could always be worse. Even after all the pain and discomfort I’ve been through, it’s nothing compared to what others are going through.

Okay, time for rapid fire this or that:

Chocolate or Vanilla?Vanilla

Coffee or tea?Neither. Does Red Bull qualify?

Hot or cold?Cold

Sweet or sour?Sour

Charmin or Cottonelle?Cottonelle, I’m all about the little ridges

Dog or cat?Dog

Running or walking? Or Cycling? Walking and Cycling 🙂

Road trip vacation or resort vacation?Resort vacation

Android or iPhone?iPhone

Sunshine or rainy day?Sunshine

Dinner out at a restaurant or a nice home cooked meal? Dinner out

Doing the dishes or doing laundry? Laundry

Comedy or horror?Comedy

Fiction or nonfiction?Fiction

Cake or pie? Cake

Final question:

You’re in the waiting room about to leave after a follow up visit with your GI. Someone else is in the waiting room and they were just diagnosed with a chronic disease. They catch your eye and then ask you “How do I get through this?”

What do you say?

In this situation I’d give them a couple pieces of advice. First thing I’d say is to keep your sense of humor through the journey. If you don’t learn to laugh (at yourself, especially) you’re going to lose your mind. The second piece of advice I’d give is to be your own advocate. Learn as much as you can, take your health into your own hands, and never stop asking questions. You’re going to get through this.

Make Sure to Say hello to Jordan and follow his awesome advocate work on his social media accounts below.

Today I bring you, in my humble opinion, the guru of IBD (inflammatory bowel disease): Amber Tresca. Amber is an IBD advocate. She works hard to bring forth the facts about IBD, answer questions and support patients as the navigate the confusing paths that these diseases take us down. She does amazing work on her blog, podcast, twitter chats and all of the articles she writes. Amber is the real deal when it comes to advocacy, and I’m so honored to share a bit about her here. Thanks for participating and all that you do, Amber!

When were you diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis?

I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in the fall of 1989; I was 16 years old.

What do you remember most about that day? Looking back, if you could tell yourself one thing about the diagnosis you were about to receive, what would it be?

What I remember most about the day I was diagnosed was that everyone seemed to know the language of healthcare but me–the many questions from physicians and nurses when I was admitted to the hospital were completely foreign. If it were possible to tell my 16-year-old self one thing, it would be that the way things are today is not how they will stay.

In my opinion, you are the information guru for IBD. If you don’t have the answer, you usually can find a trustworthy resource! That’s pretty awesome. What is your favorite part about being an IBD expert?

My favorite part from being an IBD expert is being able to make a difference in people’s lives. There have been many instances over the years where I’ve been able to provide a key piece of information that helped someone with IBD alter their path in a positive direction.

What are some of your other favorite things to do outside of IBD awareness and education?

Outside of my IBD life, I enjoy movies, crafting, playing with my kids, and am an avid reader.

What is something you have accomplished that you are most proud of?

I’m proud of my most recent venture, with is the About IBD Podcast. Podcasting is not something that I had any experience with, yet I leaped in with both feet and my work has been well received.

Who inspires you?

I’m inspired by my children as well as the many IBD advocates and industry professionals that I work with in the IBD Social Circle.

What are some of your coping mechanisms for dealing with stress?

Stress is always a huge issue for anyone with a health condition and my stress relief usually involves spending a day away from work and in the kitchen cooking and baking, preferably for dinner guests.

What keeps you hopeful?

What keeps me hopeful is learning from the many researchers and practitioners whose daily work seeks to better the lives of people with IBD through research and the improvement of patient care.

Do you have a favorite saying, quote, mantra or song that you turn to when you need to flip your mood around?

A mantra that I’ve taken from one of my favorite books, Dune, by Frank Herbert, is called the Litany Against Fear. It’s quite specific to the book but it reminds me to have courage in the face of fear, because fear is transitory.

“I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

Time for rapid fire this or that:

Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate

Coffee or tea?

Coffee

Hot or cold?

Hot

Sweet or sour?

Sweet

Charmin or Cottonelle?

Neither! Seventh Generation

Dog or Cat?

Cat

Running or walking?

Running

Road trip vacation or resort vacation?

Road trip

Android or iPhone?

iPhone

Sunshine or rainy day?

Sunshine

Dinner our at a restaurant or a nice home cooked meal?

Dinner out

Doing the dishes or laundry?

Doing the dishes

Comedy or Horror?

Horror

Fiction or nonfiction?

Fiction

Cake or pie?

Cake

Final Question:

You’re in the waiting room about to leave after a follow up visit with your GI. Someone else is in the waiting room and they were just diagnosed with a chronic disease. They catch your eye and then ask you “How do I get through this?”

What do you say?

What I would say is that you will get through this because you will not allow it to defeat you. How you feel today won’t be how you feel tomorrow or the next day because you’ll get your spark back, and you’ll find that it shines brighter than it ever did before.

Have you ever come across an Instagram post and just thought, “YES! This is my language! Finally someone is speaking it.” Well, Callie at @riverandquill is this person for me. I found myself nodding my head, smiling, laughing, tearing up and saying OH MY GOSH YES to so many of her interview responses. She has an amazing talent for writing, and I think many of you will find her journey with chronic illness, hope, and grief very relatable. Grab a cup of tea or coffee and settle in to read my interview with Callie to below. Make sure check out her social media and then blog hereas she writes about her journey with health and healing. Thank you for sharing your story, and filling others with hope, Callie!

What chronic condition or illness are you currently battling?

I have Interstitial Cystitis. It is basically a chronic bladder infection, but it is not due to bacteria, just a neglectful bladder lining.

What do you remember most about the day you were diagnosed? Looking back, if you could tell yourself one thing about the diagnosis you were about to receive, what would it be?

The day of diagnosis is one of two of the most terrible days of my life. I walked into a room with what looked like torture device chairs, which in the end did live up to my predictions, and I sat through the most painful procedure of my life. I peed blood for days afterwards, but I had a diagnosis. I would take having another baby over that any day. The hardest part was that no-one could offer any encouragement. Immediately after the procedure, a nurse walked in with a death diet, and by that I mean, the most depressing diet I have ever encountered. The IC Diet is terrible, and depressing, and it was the cherry on top of a devastating day. Stretch someone’s bladder until it bleeds, then hand them a brochure with “no” signs through coffee, beer, and chocolate. Yeah, I was ready to die. I drove myself home, because I had no idea the procedure would be so painful, and collapsed in my husbands arms when I got home. I hesitated to walk through the door though. I wanted him and needed him, but admitting that I was forever different, forever the girl with the chronic disease; it just felt so foreign and I didn’t want to bring this alien back into my home. It’s hard to describe to anyone who hasn’t gone through it, but suddenly you are someone else, and it’s extremely hard to deal with.

If I could have a little conversation with former me, I would validate the fear and the sadness. Grief is most definitely something we need to go through when experiencing a chronic disease diagnosis, but I would also give loads and heaps and oodles of hope. I would tell myself that although I now have a chronic disease, it does not change the person underneath all the pain. She is still there. She will cower in a corner for a while, but she will emerge. I would tell her that she needed to take some time to grieve and some time to believe, some time to do things that brought joy, and time to just relax. I would tell her she is enough, that she is loved, and that this isn’t the end.

(Note from Jacklyn: OH MY GOSH YES. All of this. on repeat)

What medications/treatments/surgeries/lifestyle changes have you gone through to manage your disease symptoms?

I have been to more doctors in the past couple of years than I would like to admit to. I tried bladder installations at the very beginning. They work for some, but they didn’t work for me. I believe now that this is because my IC is hormonally driven. I was breastfeeding my daughter at the time and my estrogen and testosterone levels were both very low. No amount of medication was going to help me until my hormones balanced. I didn’t know any of this until I started seeing a functional doctor last fall. A functional doctor is an actual MD who not only looks at your symptoms, but looks into how your body is running in general in order to try to determine areas that it needs some help. For example, my CoQ10 levels were the lowest he has ever seen in a patient, so I take that as a supplement now. CoQ10 does a great many things, and is present in all of your cells. It gives you energy, and keeping it in check keeps your cardiovascular system in check as well, so yeah, glad I figured that one out. The most helpful supplement/therapy so far has been testosterone replacement. Who knew that girls needed this, right?! Apparently, many women’s natural testosterone levels drop after having babies, and mine was low and not coming up with regular exercise or a healthy diet, so we are supplementing and it is helping GREATLY! I stopped taking it for a week, just because I am a momma of three, and hey, life is busy, and I hadn’t picked up the new bottle. I flared for a week, messed up my period, it was crazy. Other therapies and meds that have helped me include Elmiron, but I order mine through a pharmacy in California that is hundreds of dollars cheaper (most people pay $800 a month for this medication – it’s insane and wrong and a whole other blog post). I also take Vitamin D, Desert Harvest Aloe Vera, Cystoprotek, Magnesium, and a very strong probiotic. If our gut micro biome is off it can throw our entire body, and in my case, my bladder. Physical therapy is another amazing treatment that I have used to help my symptoms. It’s pelvic floor physical therapy, which I write about in my manuscript, and is quite the experience. Who knew there were PT’s for vagina’s, right? Now that I have totally thrown you, I will just continue like I have said nothing about vaginas or vagina therapy. Relaxation and stress relief have been huge to my recovery, as well as believing in healing. I just flared for the first time in months and even after my months of feeling good it was hard to believe I would get back to where I was, but I am getting there. I know how hard this is to believe, but it is truly the first step to getting things under control. I use essential oils, CBD, and other natural products to manage stress, but I also allow myself time to do things that I love: read, write, play, walk, whatever!

I really love your writing on your blog and Instagram posts, you have great voice. What inspired you to start writing about your journey with chronic illness?

Thank-you!!! Chronic Illness isn’t like getting slapped with a strep throat diagnosis. It’s forever, or at least it feels like it is going to be. The medical community lacks in their social-emotional support for patients, and this is something I felt that I had a responsibility to fill in for. I’m not sure in what capacity, but I just knew I had to start talking. The suicide rate in those with IC is 11%, whereas the national average is 3%. Those mathematicians out there will note that this is triple, almost quadruple the national average. I had suicidal ideations repeatedly after my diagnosis and up to a year afterwards. I was a happy, well-adjusted person before. The pain brings you to this panic filled place and it threatens to keep you there forever. I knew how much it meant when people gave me encouragement that things would not always be so bleak and that’s what motivated me to start this blog. I wanted to be the words that maybe didn’t bring someone completely out of despair, because the grieving is legit and needed, but I wanted to shine a little light down to them and at least get them on the first step toward believing they could get their pain under control. Doctors don’t do this. I should say, most don’t. I have an amazing one now who absolutely does, but you can’t just tell someone they have a disease, give them a brochure and then walk away. They need more. That’s where I hope my blog can come in for some people. I want to lead them to a healthy place, through encouragement and through resources. No-one should ever feel as alone as many do with chronic disease. I guess, mostly I just want them to know that I’m there with them.

What are some of your other favorite things to do?

(favorite books, music, podcasts, hobbies, activities etc)

I have always loved to write. It is what helped me out of the depression brought on by IC. So, I suppose my blog is as much a help to others as it is to me. I also love to spend time with my family, going on adventures, which mainly involves walks, or playgrounds, but hey, you can find adventure anywhere, right?! I used to knit before I had tiny people climbing on me all the time, but maybe I’ll do that again some day. 🙂 I also love to read. If I could lose myself in a book every day and my kids would manage to stay alive, I would totally do it. I like to think that I hike. In reality I have gone on a trail once in the past few years, but, since this is my interview, I think I can just go ahead and say I hike. I’m a hiker.

What is something you have accomplished that you are most proud of?

I wrote a manuscript. It may be terrible, but I did it. I am actually in throws of trying to find an agent, and that is a rough business, but in the end, published or unpublished, I did something I have always wanted to do, so, yeah, I’m pretty proud of that.

(note from J: THAT IS AMAZING. Congratulations!)

Who inspires you?

Others with chronic disease. I see them going out and living their lives, despite their pain and their fear and I just admire them so much. As far as celebrity inspiration goes, I would have to say Anne Lamott. Her words always reach me. It’s like they were written specifically for whatever place I am in, when I’m in it. I’m also inspired by the beauty that surrounds me every day: my daughters giggle, flowers, the breeze. It’s just inspiring to be alive and to be able to experience any of it.

What are some of your coping mechanisms for dealing with stress?

Writing is huge! Also just going outside and getting away from my thoughts as much as I can. Calling someone and crying until the world feels less scary helps too. Also, lathering myself in essential oils is a new one. Plus I smell good, so there’s that.

What has been the best thing that has happened so far that would not have happened if you did not have your chronic illness?

This has been the easiest question to answer, by far, no question. Meeting my IC Sisters has been the best thing to happen to me. About six months into my disease, another nursing mom from the ICNetwork support forum emailed me. The support forum was terrible for me. Too many people complaining and just in it, and I was sure I would never get better based on the state of all of them. BUT, my friend Lucy made it worth being on there, as she and I connected and she then connected me to a group of 5/6 women who all have IC and all within 10 years of my own age. Some of them were in remission, some of them were as miserable as myself, but we all had been through it. They were such an encouragement to me, and continue to be, daily. We talk via Facebook messenger basically nonstop. The friendship we share is one that can only be experienced when you have a disease and they are the dearest of dear to me. I joke that if we ever met in person we will probably just cry for a solid hour, taking pee breaks every few minutes.

What keeps you hopeful?

I was in remission for three months, and I am pretty sure I know how to manage this devil of a bladder of mine now. I have hope because others have conquered, and I have too. Life is still in front of me, IC or not. It’s no longer my defining feature or lead role. It’s just a member of the chorus. Hardly even know it’s there most of the time.

Do you have a favorite saying, quote, mantra or song that you turn to when you need to flip your mood around?

Well, I suppose that would be smart, but not really. I need one. I usually just cry and loathe and then find a Bible verse, pray, and try to have a really successful internal pep talk. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. I’ll be working on this one.

Okay, time for rapid fire this or that:

Chocolate or Vanilla?Chocolate but damn you IC, now I have to do Vanilla

Coffee or tea? Always coffee, but again, IC insists it only be a cup or two. I used to drink pots

Hot or cold? Hot

Sweet or sour?Sweet

Dog or cat? Dog (but I love my cats!!!)

Running or walking? Walking. Duh. Walking.

Road trip vacation or resort vacation?road trip

Day at the beach or day hiking in the woods?Beach

Android or iPhone? iPhone

Sunshine or rainy day?Sunshine

Dinner out at a restaurant or a nice home cooked meal? Out

Doing the dishes or doing laundry? dishes

Comedy or horror?Comedy

Fiction or nonfiction?impossible – both

Cake or pie? pie

Sunrise or sunset?sunset

Final question:

You’re in the waiting room about to leave after a follow up visit with your doctor. Someone else is in the waiting room and they were just diagnosed with a chronic disease. They catch your eye and then ask you “How do I get through this?”

I took a break.

I’m not apologizing for it. I needed it and it was enjoyed. Today I decided it was time to come back. I’m refreshed, ready to make some changes, to make some new connections and to offer my story and support for Ulcerative Colitis patients and others.

One of these changes will be Self Care Sunday Chats. While on this break from blogging about my life with Ulcerative Colitis, I’ve been focusing a lot on listening to my body, and acting on what I hear.

Remission is great, but it is tricky. Remission doesn’t mean that my body works exactly like it did before I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. It is still a different form of life that takes adjusting and getting used to. Some days I feel as though I never had this disease in the first place, and then I have to go into an infusion center to get my medication for 4 hours and I am reminded that life really is different. Some days I wake up feeling great, and some days I’m so exhausted I can barely take my eye mask off my eyes when I wake up. Every day is different, but there is good in every day.

I am well aware of how lucky I am to be in remission. This awareness was part of the reason that I needed to take a break from the community in the first place. I needed to enjoy this moment in my life and focus on the blessing of not having active disease instead of complaining about my past with it. I needed to figure out where I fit in this community now that I wasn’t flaring or trying to find a treatment plan or a good doctor. I have those things. It’s amazing, and it’s taking a long time to get there, and I don’t know how long it will last. I wish all Ulcerative Colitis patients could have these things.

When I was hearing stories of my friends in the IBD community suffering, my heart would just break and I would feel like I needed to apologize for being in remission. There are so many others who were struggling to find a doctor who would listen to them, or who were recovering from surgery without infections or having terrible reactions to medications. I felt like no one wanted to hear about how my medication and lifestyle changes were working or how I had a doctor who actually follows up and takes the time to hear my full story with this disease. I didn’t want to come across as bragging or arrogant. There were articles being tweeted around and polls about how people didn’t want to hear about success stories because it didn’t help them feel better.

Maybe some people don’t benefit from hearing about any positive outcomes from Ulcerative Colitis. I can understand that. And I accept that. We all have different ways of coping or not coping. The reason I’m still sharing my story is because I think about the person who comes out to the blogosphere after receiving a diagnosis. After typing in the disease in the search bar and hitting enter, how many of those articles are going to contain horror stories? How many are going to talk about how it is STILL POSSIBLE to have a life with Ulcerative Colitis? It might be a different life than you expected or planned for, but it can still be enjoyed.

So, that’s why I’m back. I’m back for the people I’ve connected with, and for the people I haven’t met yet who are looking to find out how life can still be enjoyed with a chronic illness.I’m back to share, to support, to connect and most importantly to share the joy I’ve found with this disease. Yeah, there is still no cure. It still is a beast and a terrible disease. But I’ve managed to find joy through it all, and I’m sharing that.

What I’ve Been Up To

My husband and I have set off on our own adventure this year, and started another blog to share our travels. If you’d like to check it out click on the link here: www.mibreakfastadventure.com

He bought me a nice camera for Christmas and I have fallen in love with photography. I’m actually attending my first photography club meeting this weekend and I’m so excited. You can see some of my photos on Instagram @mibreakfastadventure . We have been traveling to various breakfast joints across the state and just exploring those areas and sharing what we find. It has been a blast so far, and we have seen so many beautiful things. I’m truly happier than I have been, perhaps ever.

I’ve stopped trying to force myself and my body to morph into something that it is not made to be. It was becoming easy for me to rush, rush, rush and stress to make everything perfect. Instead of working with my body I was trying to beat it and push it to be “normal.” I can’t beat my body. And it’s not productive or healthy to keep trying to. I have found it more beneficial to care for it, and that’s how self-care Sunday came about.

Self Care Sunday

For these future Sunday posts, they’ll basically just be chats written in the morning about whatever flows through as I’m typing here. I’ll share what I’m doing to care for my body today, and anything else that comes to mind.

This morning I just drank a matcha green smoothie and a gluten-free donut because I’m all about that balanced life. I plan on going for a quick brisk walk in a bit here, quick and brisk because it is about 8 degrees outside with the windchill and I am not all about that.

This afternoon I plan on running through some practice questions for an interview I have on Monday for a new position in my office. I’ll get the laundry done and the dishes put away, and spend some time sorting mail and then maybe color for a little bit. Eventually I will get the veggies and fruits chopped and prepped for the week ahead, and sip on some mint-infused water throughout the day. I might even curl up with a book if it sounds good. Basically, today is about active rest and getting prepared for the week ahead.

I’ve added to my routine the practice of “what is done is done.” After 8 pm, if there are chores that still need to be completed, they can wait because I am now done for the day. I make a cup of hot tea, sit down in the lazy boy and snuggle up with my pets. I might read a book, I might watch a TV show or just listen to some music. I might call my grandma. I might hop on social media. Whatever I feel like doing at the time. After 8 pm, chores and obligations are done. No work, no laundry, no dishes, just restoration and enjoyment. It’s an hour to get my mind right and end the day on a good, peaceful note before heading to bed. It has been so beneficial, I highly recommend it to anyone.

My challenge to you is to test it out this week. Set aside a time for yourself where work or chores are not allowed. Make it work for you. Maybe nights aren’t good and you need to do mornings. That’s okay. Or maybe it’s in the middle of the day. Just take the time. Turn off your phone. Connect to yourself. Try it, and let me know how it goes!

Sorry for the delay, I was away for the last two days participating in a patient panel for Ulcerative Colitis and I could not get the internet to work on my phone so just had to wait til I got home to write.

Day 4: Do you remember the day you were diagnosed? Perhaps you were scared, felt alone and surely you had tons of questions. Write a letter to yourself for the day you were diagnosed, knowing all you do now.

Dear Self:

By now you are probably coming down from the anesthesia and are realizing that while you finally have a diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis, you have no idea what that is. The doctor told you to go to the internet to do some research, and I am here to tell you that there is a lot of scary stuff out there, so be careful and cautious about what you read. Start building up a support team, right now. Make sure you have a GI you can trust, a primary care doctor who stands up for you and supports you, a yoga practice that grounds you, and family and friends who will not let you down.

This is going to be the hardest thing you will go through in all the years of your life so far. Your life is going to change. There are going to be lulls and uproars and pits of despair and highs of gratitude. Hang on. You will find a treatment that works for you. Do not despair when something isn’t going right or nothing seems to work. You will find what works for you. You will be sick, but you will heal, and you will have a new appreciation for the good days that you do get. A huge appreciation. Learn coping skills and stress management.

Get on Twitter and Instagram. There are people out there who know exactly what you are going through and they will be some of the best people you meet in your life. Hold them close, they will be huge resources and sources of inspiration for you right when you need them.

This disease is individualized. Don’t judge others for their treatment plan and don’t compare it to yours. Find what feels good for you. ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. If something doesn’t feel right, speak up. This is your body. These are your veins. You know yourself best and you have rights.

You are not alone. Life may not be the same, but the new life you get is still pretty damn awesome. Don’t let go, keep fighting and get involved with as many opportunities as you can to raise awareness and change the way chronic illness patients are treated.

Quotation Inspiration. Find a quote that inspires you (either negatively or positively) and free write about it for 15 minutes.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers –

That perches in the soul –

And sings the tune without the words –

And never stops – at all –

And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard –

And sore must be the storm –

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm –

I’ve heard it in the chillest land –

And on the strangest Sea –

Yet – never – in Extremity,

It asked a crumb – of me.

-Emily Dickinson

This is more of a poem than a quote, but I love it anyway. To me, there is no life without hope. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to have hope, it takes a lot of effort to destroy hope. It doesn’t ask for anything in return. It’s always there, sometimes you just have to look a little harder for it.

I find comfort in looking for hope. I don’t like to ask why certain things happen, why I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, why some people are having problems healing and why I’m lucky enough to be in remission. I don’t ask why. I may never know the answer. I don’t look for the reason, I look for what good could possible come from a situation. I know it’s not easy for everyone to do, but I promise it makes life so much better.

There’s something to be hopeful for even in “the Strangest Sea” or the worst flare or the loneliest night. It makes your soul come alive. It sings. It floats. It lifts you up.

Hope is powerful. Some people think too much hope can lead to disappointment, but I don’t feel that way. I’d rather live in a world with too much hope than to not have any at all.

​Every great writer has their own process! What’s the blogging process look like for you? Do you set aside time each week to write or do you wait until the inspiration hits? Do you finish a post in one night or use the week to perfect it? Do you edit your blogs or just hit publish? Whatever it is you do, it’s unique to you and we want to learn about it.

I have bad habits when it comes to blogging. When I first started I was posting Hope Warrior stories regularly on Wednesdays and then one other day of my own thoughts. Over the last year, the regular practice of sharing Hope Warriors has fizzled out. I am still more than willing to share inspirational stories, but people are busy. I send out interviews and they don’t get sent back. I don’t like to push people because I know what chronic life is like and I would rather have patients put themselves as a priority than stress about responding to my email.

The lack of participation wasn’t the only contribution to my irregular posting. I also got married in June, so most of the last year and a half were spent planning (I LOVE PLANNING) and enjoying all of the festivities that come with getting married. Life has been good.

I’ve been contacted to partner with more companies and bloggers lately, and that has pushed me to get back in to posting regular content. I’m still working on making updates to the blog and creating a regular posting schedule. I work full time so right now I just post whenever it is convenient. Currently I am on break at work, typing on the WordPress app on my phone. I’d like to get better about editing and learning more about creating cleaner, better posts, but for now getting back into writing is the goal, so I just hit Publish as soon as I can. Things might be a bit sloppy, but I’m writing again and hoping to support others. Right now, that’s what is important to me.

Yet, it’s true. In an effort to get back into this and continue to truly try to help others, I’m going to try and participate in this challenge this time. It might not be a blog post every day, so check me out on Instagram because I’ll probably post more there as I’m still learning the ins and outs of WP, and the ‘gram is just easier sometimes.

Without further delay, let’s get started with day 1 of the November HAWMC.

Q: First, Let’s get to know each other! What drives you to write about your health? What do you want other Health Activists to know about your condition and your activism? Reflect on this for 15 to 20 minutes without stopping.

Hi! My name is Jacklyn and I started this blog as a place to share the struggle I was having facing the diagnosis of Ulcerative Colitis. In 2013 I was diagnosed, and by 2014 I was hospitalized as we were not able to manage the symptoms of my disease. Over the years I have tried multiple medications, diets, stress management tools, support systems and everything I possibly could to fight this disease. When I was given the diagnosis, I was told that there was no cure, but the goal was remission and we would try everything we could do to get there. Eventually I was stable enough to start Remicade, and I have been getting infusions every 8 weeks ever since. I am currently in remission.

The physical symptoms of Ulcerative Colitis are terrible. The pain can be unbearable at times and the complications and side effects from medications, all of these things are important in understanding the disease, but that’s not why I’m here.

My mental health had a bigger impact. I was depressed, anxious, angry and grieving my old life. I was 24 years old and I was just starting to begin my adult life. I had dreams and plans and they were all, it seemed, stolen from me because of the diagnosis of this disease. I had no idea how to cope with that. I told one doctor of my anxiety, and she shrugged and said “that must be rough” and moved on with her day.

I started this blog in the middle of this process to convey my struggles, to put words to my feelings, and to show others that there still can be a life with a chronic illness. There may not be a cure, and life may certainly not be what you see on TV or what you thought it would be like, but it’s a life. And there’s good to be found in it.

The whole concept “Flareup Hope” started with a conversation with my dad. I told him I was starting a blog to help raise awareness and to connect with other people who were going through the same thing. We brainstormed, and came up with this because in the deepest darkest moments of my last flareup, what I held on to was hope: hope for healing, hope for getting through one more minute, one more sunrise, one more day. Finding hope has become my mantra. I search for people who are willing to share their stories (message me if you would like to) in order to inspire others to keep fighting. I share my own thoughts and challenges and medical experiences.

I do not claim to be an IBD expert, or an advocate, or to have the answers for you. But I am a real human with Ulcerative Colitis, an autoimmune disease that does not have a cure. I am a patient, a daughter, a spouse, a dog mom, and someone who loves to write, take pictures and go on adventures and starting projects. I have dealt with depression and anxiety and I have grieved the life that my chronic illness stole from me. I’ve developed a sense of gratitude for this new way of living, and I share some of my methods and coping mechanisms for dealing with all the feels these conditions bring.

My mission here is to provide sparks of hope to people that need to keep fighting. It only takes a spark to light up a room.

Thanks for bearing with me on this first ramble of a post. Can’t wait to read everyone’s day one intros!