5 Sabotaging Traits You Must Lose in Order to Succeed

Success does not come easy, and you have a lot of negative traits holding you back. Lose these 5 self-sabotaging behaviours and get the success you want.

1) Regret

Regret is poison to your mind.

No matter what type of regret it is, whether its something you have been holding on to for years or its hindsight from a decision you made 20 seconds ago, it is holding you back and is nothing but negative.

I personally struggled with regret for many years. See, I could have played professional soccer at the age of 18 in England but decided to go to school. Now, I have no soccer career and my lifelong dream of playing pro in front of my family has gone.

I sat with this regret for years. It made me depressed, resentful and took any quality of life I could have had at that present time away. I personally know how hard letting go of regret can be.

But you can let go of regret. I did. When you hold on to that regret not only do you regret that past decision or event but you also comprise the very time you are currently in. Any chance of happiness that you can have right now is being sucked away by something that happened in the past and you cannot change. You need to accept that you cannot change the past and you need to look forward.

Letting go of my regret was difficult. I often imagined where I would have been and what I would have been doing, and how great my life could have been.

The first step was to stop doing that. Stop the thought process as soon as it starts. Don’t imagine how your life could be but instead imagine how it is going to be. Yes, you may have made mistakes, but who knows what could have happened. Things may not have turned out like you think.

A great quote that sums it up is

[quote]”You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from”[/quote]

These words are so true. There is no way to know what would have happened and your life is here, now. You need to live in the present moment and keep dissipating thoughts of the past as they come up.

Imagine them poofing into smoke and then instead of saying “oh I could have done this or been this,” say “I am here now and what can I do to make my current life better.” It is amazing how this will transform you.

This is great to do in situations where you see a hot girl and bitch out, instead of talking to her. Most people will start the regret loop of oh I missed my chance, I could be talking to her and maybe ended up being with her.

When you feel that start to happen you can instantly dissipate it. Tell yourself, “oh well I missed that chance how can I avoid that next time and what can I do now.” This will correlate with every part of your life.

Stay in the present moment, stop living in the past, and start creating a better future.

MORE:How to Take Control of Your Thoughts and Avoid Regret

2) Apology

Be unapologetic. And no I do not mean don’t say sorry to someone if you step on their shoe or crash their car. But instead, I mean, stand by your decisions you make and do not feel bad for making them.

Do not apologize for doing what you want to do. If you feel the need to apologize or feel bad for doing or saying something, then you subconsciously did not want to do it in the first place.

But if you do or say something because it is truly how you feel and you wanted to say it, don’t ever feel bad or apologize for it. Feeling bad is just another form of regret and is a negative emotion. It promotes negative energy and should be avoided at all times.

Your opinions are your opinions and if they are truly how you feel than stand by them. Chances are you are not an asshole, but if you were and every time you said some asshole statement to someone you felt bad about it you would eat yourself alive.

Assholes don’t feel bad for saying what they want. They tell people how it is without an apology. So be yourself and if you are in fact an asshole, then be an asshole. But chances are you are like me and you are a good guy and you do not go around insulting people.

3) Hesitation

Hesitation will stop you in your tracks, literally. If you hesitate can affect every part of your life in a negative way.

I have always been a hesitant person throughout my life and until recently I never did anything about it. It got me nowhere. Every day I take steps to stop my hesitation. I have learned to recognize and feel it.

Now when I feel it I do whatever is causing that hesitant feeling immediately. When I want to talk to my boss about money and I feel that hesitation come in, I get up and do it right then.

When I’m out talking to women and I feel that hesitation to walk up to her I make sure I do it. Eventually, that feeling will be gone completely. But if you don’t take steps to rid yourself of it, you will continue to hesitate, over think, and miss the life-changing opportunities.

So when you see a girl in a bar you want to talk to, just do it. If you want a promotion, just demand one.

Don’t hesitate. Because we all know the old saying, ” He who hesitates, masturbates.”

4) Fear

Don’t fear anything. My whole life I have had anxieties. I feared death, disease, and all sorts of shit. Fear clouds your mind and takes up space where courage and great ideas should be.

I have been taking steps to ending my fears completely and If I die then I die. You can only control what I can control. I eat good, I have a healthy lifestyle, and I stay positive. The rest is out of my control and should be out of my head.

Since clearing my mind of anxieties and fear I come up with incredible ideas all the time. I have created this website and I have more positive thoughts and experiences in my life.

Fear is not real, it is a choice and you can choose to not partake.

MORE:

6 Ways to Conquer Your Fears

5) Doubt

Never doubt yourself. You can do anything you want in this life. The only thing doubt is going to do is hold you back from the things you doubt you can do.

Its simple, lose all doubt, be fully confident that you will succeed, and you will succeed. What you believe becomes your reality. When you fill yourself with positive thoughts and self-beliefs, incredible things will happen.

MORE:

8 Ways to Conquer Self Doubt

In conclusion

If you rid yourself of these 5 traits the sky’s the limit.

This is not going to happen overnight so be patient. Change takes time. Work at it day by day, every day and make small changes each week. You will see progress and before you know it you will be where you want to be.

How fast does a year go by? How fast did college go by? Imagine if in those 4 years you implemented daily changes to rid yourself of negative traits and make your life better. After those 4 years, your would be incredible. Just start today and stay with it.

Sean is a true entrepreneur. After turning his life around after struggling with anxiety and chronic fatigue syndrome he now dedicates his life to being his best self and helping others do the same. Learn more about him and his projects at SeanRussell.me

8 COMMENTS

hey thanks Ruskies. I’ll try those out next time I’m out. One thing I forgot to mention on why I think I don’t want to grind with some girls sometimes…I just started school and met a lot of my girl classmates. Some have boyfriends, who live out of state, and I really think they want to grind, but I just don’t feel right knowing that they’re in a relationship. So I back off, but other guys grind behind them. I think the girls like it, but I don’t know if I feel comfortable with those “taken” girls.

Okay thanks for affirming that for me Ruskies. Yeah I definitely already have a lot of fun without grinding, and I’m sure it’ll be a little more fun WITH grinding, but I’d feel more comfortable if it wasn’t with a girl that I KNEW had a bf.

I’m the same age as you! 24!

btw, I know this isn’t the write article but I’ll post this here anyway: I’m on day 6 of the no fab challenge and it hasn’t been too hard (no pun intended). Maybe because I’ve been busy, but what I’ve noticed is that after stumbling upon your pheromone article about 5 days ago, I’ve been SO CURIOUS about pheromones and really think I’m going to purchase either TUTH or something like it some time soon. Can’t wait till you post another article like that haha. Have you used TUTH lately?

Yeah, after you mentioned TUTH, I got into a mini-craze on reading all about pheromones. It was SO INTERESTING to read about so many people’s experiences, being a total skeptic myself.

I would have liked to by TUTH, but it was sold out and I think it still is. I actually did buy one though: Instant Gentleman. After reading review after review, it appears as though it is a very good social pheromones and good with Asian girls (my preference =)). Upon first use, the first thing was that it smells GREAT! It could very well be my cologne! However, being absolutely honest, I have not been able to tell a difference if it actually works or not. BUT: most of the reviews I have read say that they used 2 sprays to elicit effects, whereas I have used 1 spray each time. I always just used 1 because I thought the smell was so powerful already and I didn’t want to make it overbearing. I think I’ll apply 2 sprays when I’m going to be in a club next.

I’ll possibly write a better review of this once I actually apply 2 sprays of this in a club.

Regardless of all that, I should also state that I’m usually a social person that people have fun with regardless of Instant Gentleman, which I think was also difficult to tell the difference with it on.

I liked this, most especially reading about Regret, because that makes total sense and it’s very true. I’ve also noticed yesterday how Hesitation is still holding me back every now and then.

I have a question: what’s your take on dancing with girls at a club? As in, grinding with girls? I love dancing and have fun at the club, but when it comes to actually just getting behind the girl and grinding behind her, I think I want to, but sometimes I feel like I don’t. I think some girls like that, but I can’t tell who really does at times. How do you do it, if you do?

btw, your subscribe tool at the end of the article is not working and it said to contact you.

Thanks for the catch George. Our tech guy worked it out and its all good.

As for the dancing:

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with grinding…BUT!

I don’t think you should just get behind a random girl that’s already dancing and start grinding with her. This is a creepy move and unless the girl is very drunk, will not turn out as you want.

1) I think if you are going to start dancing with a girl you should go straight on. Maybe throw here a small introduction and start dancing, and eventually progress into grinding and getting close if she is into you.

2) Engage a girl at the bar and invite her onto the dance floor. Then start getting close and grinding with her. By moving her from a convo to the dance floor she has already invested in you. So she should definitely be down to grind.

3) Dance by yourself. Eventually a girl will probably come to you if you are having a good time. Fun is infectious.

But yeah grindings awesome ; ) and it leads to a lot of makeouts. Just don’t just bum-rush a girl from behind, like in night at the roxbury haha. In my experience it usually never works ( unless shes wasted )