@tehwateverWhich is why friendship or having company means nothing to me. All because none have the willpower to handle someone like me. No one wants to understand, they just want to lash out irrationally and call me names for it because that is all they know to do.

I have no beliefs and I've experienced how evil it can be when people try to force it down your throat saying that I should cherish my life and call me hopeless out of anger, going against whatever they believe in and proving my point in how cruel people really are.

@TempFizzlevery well. I won't expect no sugarcoat. brutal honesty is always appreciated. SO, do you tell people how they really are, or how they are perceived to be in public? there's a difference. people who are fake like me, (and a bunch of others) don't have any shame using the facade (tatemae) and hide our real feelings (honne). Doesn't mean we're not sincere.

Hm. How come a brutally honest person like you and one who also feel strongly against cruelty of human nature, not resonate with anybody? It makes no sense. There has to be someone.

@BadheartI have been better mentally as I've started taking antipsychotics and supplies for vitamins; however, I don't seem to have enough self-control not to self-harm. I will talk about it with my psychologist. It's a ''downward spiral'', you can say — cut here and there, and when I see, it's been one hour and a half and I am covered in blood and wounds.

I hate my social anxiety, my shyness and my introversion, I hate having believed that overcoming my fear of speaking would solve these problems, I overcame my fear but it didn't solve anything all these years of barely speaking with others have their consequences and now when I try to talk more than ever I can't, I never learned how to talk with others, I can't think of what to say, how to react to what they say, I never learned how to talk for more than 5 minutes, I'm in blank, and now I'm slowly becoming more and more emotionless.

I become so depressed that sometimes it's hard for me to move, or that I just don't want to move. My mind shuts off or becomes numb that I don't care about anything when I'm like that. I suppose it's true that depression is a death sentence. Nobody wants to love someone who is depressed and nobody wants anything to do with them. At least for mine.

@ScrabblemanDid I not say leave me alone!? Yes, I did. If you don't like me and think I'm annoying, then ignore me, and don't reply to me ever again! Because you are starting to piss me off even more! You are not helping and you don't understand! Just like the rabid shippers! Leave me the hell alone already! I'm tired of this.