Of course satirists should be allowed to use footage from the House of
Commons. Then we'd see how unfunny the jokes really are

There’s nothing MPs like more than a good joke. My, how they love to roll around those green benches, gasping for air and slapping their thighs whenever a wag cracks a one-liner in the style of Oscar Wilde, Les Dawson or Syd Little (depending on whether you’re a Tory, Labour or LibDem MP, respectively).

And just as British talent has given the world such comedy gold as the Goons, Monty Python and Only Fools and Horses, so the chamber of the House of Commons has been the source of some unforgettable punch lines and side-splitting observational comedy.

Side-splitting comedy in the House Photo: PA

After all, who can forget… er, that one about the poison, you know, by the fat bloke. Or that other one, which was really funny, I just can’t remember the gist of it right now…

Get it? Because sheep aren’t savage at all! They’re the opposite of savage!

Okay, now that I’ve wiped away my manifold tears of laughter, it’s time to get serious. Because that Denis Healey “joke”? It wasn’t funny. Not one bit. It was lame, even in the ’70s when, God knows, there wasn’t much to laugh about, especially if you were a Labour MP. And yet it’s still remembered as a “classic”.

Well, it wasn’t. It was rubbish.

Denis Healey: you're not funny Photo: ANDREW CROWLEY

Which is fine because in the Commons, everything is relative. Your joke doesn’t have to be funny – it just has to be funnier than most other things that are said in there. Debates can get pretty tedious: anyone remarking about almost any form of livestock behaving even remotely out of character is at least going to get people to pay attention.

It’s odd, then, that given Honourable Members’ high regard for their own comedic talents, they don’t seem to rate other people’s very highly, especially if those talents are directed at themselves. Yesterday the Leader of the House, Chris Grayling, told Ealing MP Rupa Huq that no, her brother-in-law would not be allowed to use footage from inside the chamber to make fun of MPs. It wasn’t an arbitrary announcement by the Leader of the House, you understand; Ms Huq had in fact asked a question first.

"After the expenses scandal, how can MPs possibly stand on their own dignity? I mean, it was a duck house! A house. For ducks!"

It all dates back to the late 1980s, and a number of attempts to persuade MPs that they should allow their constituents to watch proceedings of the House via these new fangled devices known as televisual receivers, by then commonly located in many homes. Most MPs were still opposed to cameras inside the chamber recording their every word, sneeze and snore; a few were still not even reconciled to the damned intrusion of the wireless in the previous decade. One elderly denizen was reportedly still nursing a personal grievance against Speaker Abbot for opening the Press Gallery.

So a number of rules and safeguards were put in place to reassure MPs that if the cameras were finally to be allowed in, the broadcasters’ privilege would not be abused. And one of the rules was that footage of Members – whose business is, after all, serious and therefore to be taken seriously – could not be used to elicit laughs from the audiences of satirical shows.

Now, I don’t know if this rule is remotely enforceable or if it’s just a convention. But by and large, it has been honoured since the first side-splitting laugh-a-rama from Westminster was first aired to uproarious reviews in November 1989.

But in the internet age of YouTube, Twitter and Downfall memes, are we seriously saying the Commons is out of bounds to the likes of Charlie Brooker (brother-in-law of the aforementioned Ms Huq)?

Charlie Brooker and Rupa Huq Photo: Rex

Are MPs’ skins so delicate and fragile that they could not cope with the Armando Ianucci treatment? What possible harm could a Hugh Dennis voiceover do to this beloved national institution if Mock The Week were given permission to use such footage for purely satirical purposes?

And it doesn’t look like they’re going to get that permission. Chris Grayling doesn’t look like he changes his mind overmuch. Maybe he’s worried that someone will unkindly liken him to someone who was asked to leave an undertakers’ convention because he was bringing everyone else down. But I can’t see anyone doing that.

After the expenses scandal, how can MPs possibly stand on their own dignity? I mean, it was a duck house! A house. For ducks!

What possible further damage could a satirical use of Commons footage do to MPs’ reputations?

It’s time to surrender, Honourable and Right Honourable ladies and gentlemen. You too, Mr Grayling. Let Brooker do his worst. He could hardly do any more damage than you’ve already done to yourselves. And who knows, the experience might give you some better standup material.