Red Wine: LIVING the DREAM, Webisode 4

The only thing more pathetic than kissing ass is trying to kiss ass and not succeeding.

A few years ago, I bumped into my boss at a popular LA restaurant. We said our hellos, slapped each others’ backs, then retreated to opposite sides of the bar. Worried my latest script was sub-par, or possibly just looking to kiss some Hollywood ass, I told the barkeep to send a round of drinks to Head Writer and his party of four. On me, of course. Well, the drinks were delivered, but the bartender never told the target of my obsequiousness where they came from. A few moments later, I overheard my boss thanking the sycophantic owner-greeter for the free drinks. The owner, of course, cracked a wide smile, uttered a few words in Italian, kissed the boss’s wife on both cheeks, then walked away. And that was that. What could I do? Interrupt the owner and say, “Wait, wait, I bought the drinks. Cost me 45 bucks too. I can even show you the receipt if you want.”

Bottom line is: When something like this happens, you’re screwed. You just have to shut up, accept defeat and move on. But it’s not that easy. There’s something maddening about the inherent unfairness of someone else getting credit—and accepting credit—for your generosity. It’s even more complicated when your generosity isn’t really generosity at all, but a thinly-veiled attempt at self-promotion. Which is why I thought it would be a perfect no-win situation for a politically unsavvy dude like Nick Conley to navigate. Or attempt to navigate anyway.

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Awesome work! Our favorite so far is Typo- but they are all excellent!
What about an episode on “sexual harrassment” at the office? Nick feels outrage and sympathy for his female associate friend who complains about a drunk partner who always comes onto her at firm drinking events, and tries to help- only to run into several further examples of how frequently this actually occurs in real life- and no one cares. He didn’t realize it was that ok!
Having personally had drunk senior partners grab my ass in front of many colleagues at firm events, I can vouch that a pretty funny episode could be made from the way other partners ignore this and similar behavior as if it’s not happening, no matter how long it goes on. Men have been hunters for thousands of years- it’s just natural! Look at Schnell… what good would it do to even try and tame the raw testosterone-fueled fire inside that man??
Keep up the great work!! We love it.

Peter Tax Grunt

Been there. Ouch.

DLA

I was at Skadden back in the day, and while some of this stuff is mildly amusing, it’s not even as good as the videos that the typing pool folks made to show at the Xmas parties.
I still remember one bit about having to plug in a client code to get wall paper. THAT was good stuff.

Al Dickman

There are many of these types all over; we saw them in law school too. If only there was a way to get rid of them!

Fan

Perhaps DLA should do something better.

cracked-rib

there’s a career for you in hollywood yet! you ought to start a curb your enthusiasm version of legal life with larry david.