A mid 40's young widower. Trying to find my new path in life and navigating the dating waters.

Monday, January 23, 2012

End of Lethargic Apathy for the time being

Wow, the 40th birthday party for my friend was incredibly fun on Friday night. The evening didn’t progress to having people share, so my written bit that I posted about Friday was not recited.

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I have a friend that owns a vintage clothing/antique store downtown. He sort of knows my hiking partner from years ago, so the three of us went out for breakfast and then out to an antique show at the county fairgrounds. There were about 600 vendors.

It was nice to get the two friends together and see them connect a bit. They ran in different crowds growing up, but we were such a small city back then, the downtown crowds intermingled constantly. It is always interesting to watch people interact when there is no connection between them, but they have a multitude of mutual friends and experiences.

A good day was had by all. My hiking partner indulged his other hobby of photography, and got some amazing shots of all the different vintage items. My vintage clothing friend picked up a few items for his shop. I had a great time as well.

I barely got home from antiquing when it was time to go to another party. This seemed to be a family themed affair, as there were more than a handful of young toddlers running around. The party ended around 11 PM. There was a great funk band playing in town, so a bunch of us went and danced the funk out of our rear ends for a couple of hours. Whew! That was fun.

Sunday is usually hippie dance church, but I really needed to do some laundry and I had a dinner party at 5 o’clock so I skipped it. The dinner party was for the Widows/Widowers monthly dinner gathering. I had skipped last month, and there were new faces I had not met yet. I instantly fell into the facilitator roll again. I was asking members questions so the newcomers could hear the answers. That is usually my schtick. I will ask a question I already know the answer to, but I think it will help the newcomer, and the member also has to soul search for the answer. This gives all members pause to reflect and talk on what is their response to my question, and all newcomers to see the varying space of acceptance and growth.

I caught myself doing the facilitating, so after I asked for an opening round of introductions, I quit asking questions. The dinner once again became an event with strangers talking about the weather. I should be ok with that, right? I need to let it go. Time for me to move on.

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I left the dinner party early, as I attended my very first Kirtan that was incredibly beautiful. A kirtan is a call and response type of meditative group chanting. The friend who just turned 40 took me.

I will be doing this again. It was really hard to describe. It was peaceful, yet invigorating. I even got up to dance with a handful of other people.

At the end of the kirtan, as my friend and I were leaving the building, we took a back way out and ended up alone in a stairwell. I took the opportunity to finally share with my friend.

It was very warmly received, with much love and hugs.

It really does seem to come down to being willing to connect, and willing to accept connections with others.

I felt wonderful letting her know how much she has inspired me, and she felt wonderful learning she has touched a life.