"We've been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture."
~Reverend Ray Mummert

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Headline News From Ironicus! Your News Source For News That Is, You Know, Newsy And Stuff

Welcome to the Newsroom at IM Central, where we monitor the world for you. Well, when the cable is working anyway. And if we haven't stepped out for a refresh of our adult beverage. Oh, and naps. Love the naps. Hey, it's not like you're paying us for this you know. What do you think this is, CNN? Wait, do they pay those guys? Seems like a network run by interns to us. We mean, "Nail Polish May Tip Off Politics"? How do you research a story like that? Oh wait, they only research comedy sketches. OK, how about "Mom's Struggling With Rising Prices"? Ya think genius? Also, too, Anderson Cooper.

This has been the first edition of Headline News While We're Still Sober. We expect to be added to Wolf Blitzer's show anytime now. Next week we open an investigative unit: Rain Makes Things Wet. Nature or Al Qaeda? Stay tuned.