Love Pentagon: The David Petraeus scandal continues apace, as new revelations about the behavior of Jill Kelley, Paula Broadwell and Gen. John Allen emerge almost hourly. Can’t tell the players without a scorecard? Check out TIME’s who’s who of the entire tawdry tale. (TIME.com)

Or, Take the Audio Tour: Here’s one of Tampa socialite Jill Kelley’s 911 calls, in which she claimed diplomatic “inviolability” in a bid to get trespassing media types off her property. (She is an honorary consul of South Korea, a position that carries no special privileges or protections whatsoever.) (YouTube)

‘Sexiest Man’ Debate:People magazine (which, like TIME.com, is owned by Time Inc.) has named Channing Tatum its Sexiest Man Alive. The pro-Ryan Gosling Internet, however, begs to differ. (People)

‘F— Obama': A Key West, Fla., tanning salon owner has apparently killed himself over the President’s reelection, scrawling an anti-Obama message across his will and downing two bottles of prescription medicine. All respect to these Texans, but this is the most extreme reaction we’ve seen — although to be fair, salon owners did get screwed by the Affordable Care Act. (Miami Herald)

Is Nancy Pelosi Too Old? Luke Russert asks one person who probably has an opinion on that subject: Nancy Pelosi. (BuzzFeed)