Sunday, April 20, 2014

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: CAPTAIN LEE JOON-SEOK

This has been astounding week for people doing things that ultimately they should have known better. It crossed generational lines, continents and race in such a spectacular way that I can only surmise that the human race is doomed if people like this can someone exist in mass numbers and survive. Their stupidity is quite literally killing us. Let us see some really good runner ups.

1)Michael F. Egan III- According to this failed actor, Bryan Singer allegedly raped him during a gay party when he was 15. Sexual assault is a horrific thing and I have met way too many women, and even a few men, who have experienced this first hand and the trauma it causes. In many of these cases, they were not reported because they lacked any proof said assault occurred. And that is exactly why I have such a hard time with this case. First off, it happened in 1999 which is far too long to decide to press charges. We have statutes of limitations for a reason and this is exactly why. Why wait so long to come forward? Now in his defense, one of the people at these parties for the openly gay Singer, had a man, Marc Collins Rector (wow what an perfect last name) who was convicted of underage sex and is also named in the suit. According to reports, Egan and his mother went to the FBI in 2000 who investigated and found no evidence of said crime. Also, Singer was NOT named a suspect at the time, a fact that really hurts Egan's case. This kind of behavior appears to have some truth to it within Hollywood and the government, both of which have had many allegations against them of child sex abuse, but the facts seem to say this may be about money rather than reality.

2)Frazier Glenn Cross/ Frazier Glenn Miller- Another loon with a gun decided to kill Jews in Kansas City and proceeded to shoot three innocent people. Hilariously, even though he was outside a Jewish Community Center and a Jewish Retirement Home, Cross actually managed not to kill any Jews at all, but two Methodists and a Roman Catholic. Oops. This waste of space can go to death row knowing he was a failure at everything in his life, including his assassinations. This ass spent his entire life hating Jewish people, belonged to many white supremacists groups over the decades, ran for the Senate last year and is now going to spend what little time he has left behind bars. Good.

3)ADL- On the opposite end of the spectrum, these douchebags may be trying to start WW3 for unknown reasons. Anonymous has released email information that the ADL was responsible for the now debunked "Jewish registration" leaflets that were handed out in Ukraine last week. Anonymous also released information about a proposed attack on Melitopol Airport on May 10th that never happened which means either the information was wrong, or the fact the attack was known before hand caused it to be scrapped. The fact remains that the ADL may be trying to accomplish false flag operations that could end mankind. Swell.

4)Generation Wuss- This generation had a spectacular week of ineptitude with many, many instances of them doing things that at the very least would get them arrested stat or, at worst, shot full of holes by a trigger happy police force that has a tendency to shoot first and ask questions later. An unnamed Dutch teen thought it would be so funny to tweet a bomb threat to American Airlines. She wrote "Hello my name’s Ibrahim and I’m from Afghanistan," Sarah wrote Sunday. "I’m part of Al Qaida and on June 1st I’m gonna do something really big bye" Of course, the airlines wrote back that the FBI was being informed because they have to take these things seriously. In response to this, dozens of other parroted her tweets with one bomb threat after the other. I hope you like the FBI coming to your home guys because these guys have NO sense of humor. The king of douchebags this week was without a doubt though, Kevin "Kayvon" Edson, a 25 year old lunatic who though it would be great fun to dress in a black beekeeper outfit, with a backpack, barefoot, screaming "Boston Strong," as he approached the Finish Line where crowd's of people were. When confronted by the police and demanding to know what he had in his backpack, he said "a rice cooker." It is stunning he wasn't shot there and then. If this had been NYC he would have been filled so fill of holes you could have seen through him. That and the forty innocent bystanders that would have been struck as those guys can't hit the broad side of a barn. Instead he was taken into custody, his rice cooker filled with confetti. His mom says he has a mental illness which is the only explanation for what a dumb, almost fatal, stunt this was.

5)US Airways- This week in a shocking bit of incompetence, the airline published a NSFW photo of a woman with a toy plane jammed into a place you wouldn't normally find such an object. Worse, the photo was sent in response to a customer complaint as in, "You can take your complaint and shove it right where we are showing you." Wow, and you thought the airline losing your luggage was bad. This did lead to some very funny Twitter responses like, "I see you've found Flight 370," and "You are now free to move about the cabin."

6)Meagan Huntsman- Over the past decade this insane women hid her pregnancies (meaning she must be real fat), gave birth in secret, and then proceeded to murder each and every infant. Seven times this occurred and was only found out when a family member was cleaning out her garage when he came across the mummified infants. Ick!

7)Cable Companies- According to Reddit founder, Alexis Ohanian, cable companies are ready to start exploiting the end of net neutrality and begin raising rates and limiting content. The Tea Party and Republicans have been all over this as against net neutrality as in their minds, government regulations are stifling business. What is actually happening is since they do not have ANY regulations, they are going to screw us over hard and change the internet as we know it, possibly charging a tier like rate and slowing down connections to any website that doesn't pay them for the privilege of better service. They are a monopoly thanks to Joe "Droopy" Lieberman's deregulation bill a decade ago which has done nothing but raise prices and lower quality. Thanks Joe for being a corporatist. Your service in Congress will not be missed. I wish you'd take the lunatic wing of the GOP with you.

8)Bryan Fischer- This ass and director of Issues Analysis for the fundamentalist American Family Association said this week that poor people needed to “kiss the ground” beneath the richest 1 percent of Americans. He went on to blame Obama for using the IRS to go after the 1% which is not only not true, it also proves this jerk doesn't have a lick of common sense. He went to say this:

The top 1 percent are funding 30 percent of the government!” the radio host explained. “So, rather than the poor, the low income and the middle class being resentful of these people, they should be kissing the ground on which they walk!”“Who’s paying for the EBT cards? Who’s paying for food stamps? Who’s paying for the women and infant children program? Who’s paying for subsidized housing? Who’s paying for Medicaid? It is the top 1 percent,” he continued. “So, they ought to be given ticker-tape parades once a week in all of our major cities to thank them for funding welfare for everybody.”Fischer went on to say that it was a “myth” that Americans had a right to so-called “entitlements” or earned government benefits. “Every bit of this is the involuntary transfer of wealth,” he remarked. “That makes us a socialist country. This is Marxism on display.”
First off, while he is right that only the top ranges pay taxes, it is the top 10% not 1%, and the richest among us pay NO taxes as they stash trillions away in offshore accounts. And I hate to break it to him but every country has socialist ideas that work just fine. Every insurance policy on Earth is based on socialism. The fire department, police and teachers are socialism in action. Is he really so stupid to think we don't need any of that? What he is asking for is anarchy the likes of which was brilliantly parodied on "Family Guy," when Peter joins the Tea Party, eliminates all forms of government and then watches the town go to hell in a handbasket when everything stops working. I know what Fischer can kiss on me and it is NOT my feet.

9)General Mills- In a true douchebag move, anyone who "likes" this company on Facebook or downloads a coupon from their website, forever gives up any right to sue regardless of criminal intent from said company. So let me get this straight, just because I like one of your products, you've hidden legalese into the "consent" content that prevents me from getting restitution even if you intentionally poison me? Fuck off comes to mind. I would suggest everyone unfriend these assholes immediately, lest that food poisoning you get leave you with nothing more than a huge hospital bill.

10)Captain Lee Joon-seok- For some unknown reason, this dick decided this week to emulate the captain of the Italian ship, the Concordia, with far more lethal results. First, he let an inexperienced third mate pilot the ship alone in dangerous waters, capsized the ferry by moving the boat too quickly, then told everyone to stay below decks as he and his crew fled to safety. Hundreds are feared dead as many drowned unable to get out. Guess who has been arrested just like the Italian Concordia Captain? What is tremendously odd is that this happened during the week of April 15th-21st where history shows a preponderance of death and destruction throughout history. Even odder, many involve teens or children. Waco, the OKC bombing, the BP oil spill and the Columbine shootings all happened in this time period, and continues with this tragic ferry accident. I have heard rumors that these are the feast days of Baal, who likes child sacrifice, but have never been able to confirm it. Either way, this is one of the deadliest weeks of the year, every year and Captain Lee Joon-seok is indeed douchebag of the week. And just perhaps, Baal as well.

“We’re now in a position where cable companies — because they’re basically oligopolies, right? — because there’s only a handful of them, want to break (net neutrality), Ohanian said. “They don’t want the Internet to be flat; they want it to look like your cable. They want you to have a basic package, right? Where you get Bing search for free, because they’ve made a deal with Microsoft. If you want Google, it’s an extra $10 a month, but it’s a really good search engine, so you’ll pay for it, right?”Read more at http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f93_1397499971&comments=1#viSmKrvH0q5z27QS.99

“We’re now in a position where cable companies — because they’re basically oligopolies, right? — because there’s only a handful of them, want to break (net neutrality), Ohanian said. “They don’t want the Internet to be flat; they want it to look like your cable. They want you to have a basic package, right? Where you get Bing search for free, because they’ve made a deal with Microsoft. If you want Google, it’s an extra $10 a month, but it’s a really good search engine, so you’ll pay for it, right?”Read more at http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f93_1397499971&comments=1#viSmKrvH0q5z27QS.99

“We’re now in a position where cable companies — because they’re basically oligopolies, right? — because there’s only a handful of them, want to break (net neutrality), Ohanian said. “They don’t want the Internet to be flat; they want it to look like your cable. They want you to have a basic package, right? Where you get Bing search for free, because they’ve made a deal with Microsoft. If you want Google, it’s an extra $10 a month, but it’s a really good search engine, so you’ll pay for it, right?”Read more at http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f93_1397499971&comments=1#viSmKrvH0q5z27QS.99

“We’re now in a position where cable companies — because they’re basically oligopolies, right? — because there’s only a handful of them, want to break (net neutrality), Ohanian said. “They don’t want the Internet to be flat; they want it to look like your cable. They want you to have a basic package, right? Where you get Bing search for free, because they’ve made a deal with Microsoft. If you want Google, it’s an extra $10 a month, but it’s a really good search engine, so you’ll pay for it, right?”Read more at http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f93_1397499971&comments=1#viSmKrvH0q5z27QS.99

“We’re now in a position where cable companies — because they’re basically oligopolies, right? — because there’s only a handful of them, want to break (net neutrality), Ohanian said. “They don’t want the Internet to be flat; they want it to look like your cable. They want you to have a basic package, right? Where you get Bing search for free, because they’ve made a deal with Microsoft. If you want Google, it’s an extra $10 a month, but it’s a really good search engine, so you’ll pay for it, right?”Read more at http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f93_1397499971&comments=1#viSmKrvH0q5z27QS.99