Category Archives: Satirical News

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Outer Space – Last night was a big one for the Moon. The whole world tuned in as the massive rock completed the impressive act of a superblood lunar eclipse. I was lucky enough to catch up with the gigantic … Continue reading →

Souix Falls, SD – It’s official. Area man Dan Jackson has made the announcement that he will not be running for the position of President of the United States in the 2016 election. A run-of-the-mill plumber, Jackson felt the need to … Continue reading →

Tulsa, OK – It’s been a rough month for professional motivational speaker Sammy “Sunshine” Newsome. “I just don’t have any drive lately,” states the author of the book Getting Knocked Down and Getting Back Up Again: Finding Inspiration in the Hits … Continue reading →

San Francisco, CA – Local public relations representative Natasha Davidson has really been going above and beyond lately. She has stayed late 15 minutes at work all this week so far; who cares if it’s only Tuesday. Last weekend she … Continue reading →

Cambridge, MA – A scientist at a local university has made a breakthrough discovery that potentially will change some lives somewhere in some way or another. “Based on my research, I have been able to determine that sea otters are actually … Continue reading →

Syracuse, NY – As we go throughout our day-to-day business, there are constant distractions that tend to pull us away from whatever is in our dish. Local canine Nellie Meyers, a self-defined “person dog,” is dealing with a problem that tends to take her off the beaten walking route. Just two years old, Nellie has found that she’s had these strong urges since puppyhood. “I’ll be walking down the street, occasionally eating my own business, when I see a human and just can’t help but smile and want to touch it!” the chocolate lab exclaims, staring out the window and contemplating whether or not her tail is part of her, or if she is part of her tail. Nellie has found that she goes so far as attempting to touch the human if allowed and even considering getting a person like that for herself once she has a job and her own place. “My partner is allergic to humans so it’s unlikely I will ever be able to keep one. I guess I’ll have to settle for these brief encounters on the street,” states the pooch, who hopes to one day discover if it is she who really is a good dog.

Indianapolis, IN – This summer the Indianapolis City Zoo has been hosting several events called “Zoo Brew,” where you and your 21+ buddies can come sip on alcoholic beverages while perusing the animal exhibits. It’s been receiving positive reviews by … Continue reading →

Detroit, MI – “Oh my god it’s today. The concert is today.” Tween superfan Brittany “Britt” Williams has been waiting for months, no wait, years for this opportunity to see One Direction, her favorite boy band in the whole entire … Continue reading →

Washington, DC – Just last week Republicans of Congress voted to sue Mr. Barack Obama, current President of the United States and Scrabble enthusiast, for his usage of executive orders that has been deemed unconstitutional. This event caused Obama, who … Continue reading →

Columbus, OH – Outrage was unleashed upon the Internet this past week with the release of the trailer for the movie based on the book “50 Shades of Grey.” One Twitter user, @born2bmrsgrey, stated, “OMG I cannot believe the actor … Continue reading →