Monthly Archives: February 2018

A couple brought a bull to mate with their cow, but were having quite a bit of trouble. They called a local veterinarian. When the vet arrived he made a cursory examination of the beast before asking the couple to describe the problem.

The husband explained, “Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side, and she walks away to the other side.”

The vet thought about this for a minute and asked, “Did you buy this cow in Michigan?”

The couple was dumbfounded. They had never mentioned where they bought the cow.

“How did you know we got the cow in Michigan?” the woman asked.

With a distant look in his eye, the vet replied, “My wife is from Michigan.”

A couple in their eighties just got married and was on their honeymoon. In the hotel room she slipped into something sexy and crawled into bed and waited for her new groom. He was in the bathroom sprucing himself up.

She waited and waited until she could not wait any longer. She got up and went to the bathroom and opened the door. Peering in she saw him bending over on the toilet trying to put on a condom.

She giggled, “Honey what are you doing? I’m 86 years old and can’t get pregnant anymore.”

He looked up at her and said, “I know but honey you know how dampness affects my arthritis.”

Flush Twice proudly presents:

Sunday’s Rant

So last week I got a call from work. They wanted me back on first shift, and they had already let the last remaining 3rd shift temp go. To be honest, I was relieved. I had had enough, and was eager to return to days.

Don't get me wrong. I actually enjoy working 3rd shift, but this time it was different. It wasn't like it used to be. I couldn't just go in, do my job, and go home. I had to deal with a whole bunch of random chaos every night.

So what's it like now that I'm back on 1st? Well, it's basically still chaos, but at least there are other people I know and trust to help me through it.

Kudos

Some of the daily jokes were provided by George, but a couple were left in the queue by an anonymous donor. Thanks goes out to George and whoever the mystery contributor is. It means a lot. If anyone else would like to add jokes to the site, you can do so on our submission page, or send an email to flush2x@gmail.com.

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Flush Twice is a JOTD (Joke of the Day) website. New jokes are published every Monday through Friday (midnight EST). There is also a comic in the sidebar that updates every Saturday. We’ve been operating since May of 2003.

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So what makes a joke funny? Well, it boils down to a sudden shift in perception. The story starts you thinking one way, then the punchline turns that thinking on its ear. The art of the joke is to craft a short story that isn’t overly contrived, then deliver a punchline that suddenly shifts your perception about the story you were being told.

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