Stan, when you fuck in a chair, it becomes something else. The sweat of your body mixing with that of another, the bodily fluids spilled carelessly in the heat of passion.

It's no longer a chair, Stanley. It becomes a throne. A testament to man's triumph over all things in this world. The sun, the sky, the world around us, furniture, we have found a way to use these things to our own gain. And when this throne, this pillar of human victory, has been created, it becomes really fucking awkward for everyone else to sit in it because all they can think about are your balls slapping against someone else.

Stan, when you fuck in a chair, it becomes something else. The sweat of your body mixing with that of another, the bodily fluids spilled carelessly in the heat of passion.

It's no longer a chair, Stanley. It becomes a throne. A testament to man's triumph over all things in this world. The sun, the sky, the world around us, furniture, we have found a way to use these things to our own gain. And when this throne, this pillar of human victory, has been created, it becomes really fucking awkward for everyone else to sit in it because all they can think about are your balls slapping against someone else.

OH MY GOD I'm laughing so hard

But yeah, he showers infrequently, and she's kind of gross, and the both of them being butt ass naked and going at it like the world is ending is a lot gross. And that was the polyester couch I bought at a thrift store. They could have easily been doing it on the faux-leather couch he bought and would have been infinitely easier to clean.Whatever, it was still hilarious, especially when she cried from embarrassment and wouldn't even look at me.

I lost a couch because of that. When I lived with my best friend, he often spent more time in my room than his own because I had the TV and XBox, and my couch in there more or less became his bed. I didn't really mind him being in there. Waking up and seeing him asleep on my couch became such a regular thing that I'd become more uncomfortable when he WASN'T sleeping in my room.

Then I went home for a weekend...

I came back, found him sleeping in my bed, made him get the hell out because I was tired from the long drive, then inspected my room for any damage he may have caused while I was out. There were beer bottles everywhere, but that stopped mattering when I looked at my couch. There on the cushion was a suspect stain in a shape that could only have been caused by vaginal discharge during intercourse. For the rest of the time I lived there, I lived in fear that any solid surface, my bed included, was covered in his semen.

Needless to say, when I moved out, the couch became his and I gave my bed and sheets away.

But yeah, he showers infrequently, and she's kind of gross, and the both of them being butt ass naked and going at it like the world is ending is a lot gross. And that was the polyester couch I bought at a thrift store. They could have easily been doing it on the faux-leather couch he bought and would have been infinitely easier to clean.Whatever, it was still hilarious, especially when she cried from embarrassment and wouldn't even look at me.

But can you blame him? We all know that the cool polyester feels a thousand times better than faux-leather.

AP: Today I snapped up a brand-new PS3 (finally!!!) bundle with inFAMOUS and Uncharted at Walmart.com for $200 because of their "Black Friday" sales. It's gonna be delivered to my house next week, free of charge.

AP2: I also fought the snowy weather to get to Walmart, and then fought the crowds to get some Christmas shopping done. Snapped up Dead Island for $10 (for myself, of course). I love getting good deals...

Related PP: Because my mom waited too long to get the same PS3 bundle online (for the rest of the family), they were no longer available. Not looking forward to hearing my siblings squabble over whose turn it is to play mine, or pester me when they can have a turn. lol