Letter to Pat Caputo

Pat's inner Spartan was trolling last night on The Ticket. He was pulling out all the stops trying to antagonize irate Michigan fans into calling in so he could FoxNews them down.

I wrote a nice letter that I thought I'd share with the board. Enjoy or ignore.

Pat --

I heard an interesting phrase for the first time while talking with a Cleveland fan:

"Toledo Tigers."

That's their (his?) word for Ohioans who root for Detroit teams instead of the Indians, Cavs, Browns, and whatnot. It's derogatory. The funny thing is, he thought we use it too -- when I explained no Tiger fan makes any distinction over whether the guy next to him is from Ohio, Downriver, Oakland County or Timbuktu, he flat-out refused to believe me.

Nobody says "Windsor Wings Fan" either. Or "Yukon Yankee."

I graduated from Michigan. I am a big Michigan football fan. I associate with a lot of other big-time Michigan football partisans. And not a single person I know has ever cared whether the guy crammed in next to him in the Big House used to be a student here. If you root for the Wolverines, and you uphold the standards of good sportsmanship, then you are my brother, and I promise you, the Michigan fan-base feels this same way.

This one is entirely in your head, that is, your and every other Spartan fans'. Nobody else -- not even Ohio State fans -- use the phrase "Walmart Wolverines," at least nowhere near the extent that Spartan fans do.

I understand why: it's the same reason partisans of the losing political party (either side) call those who voted against them "sheeple" or "brainwashed." It's hard to admit someone who chose differently than you could have a valid reason.

Unless their parents are Spartans, kids in this state naturally become Michigan fans. The Wolverines are a bigger deal, and have been for a very long time, and kids respond to that (Desmond Howard did it for me when I was a kid). If it were the other way around, this would irritate the hell out of me.

I still would have enough respect for other people, though, to respect their choice of team to root for. Or at least, if some Michigan-born man chose the Buckeyes, I wouldn't treat him any different than any other Ohio State fan.

You went on to make what could be the dumbest statement I've ever heard on radio: (paraphrasing) "The Spartans are the team of the working man."

What?

What is your basis for this? Because Michigan students had a 3.65 GPA in high school, and MSU students had a 3.61 GPA, this now means the latter is the populist choice? Again, you're taking Spartan rhetoric about Michigan arrogance and treating it like fact. These are both incredibly good universities, and getting better (the academic performance that got me into UofM in 1998 would have put me in the middle of State's freshman class today). Choosing one to be the "working man's" team is as silly as saying Cambridge is more "blue-collar" than Oxford.

I normally like your broadcasts, but last night's was just awful. You said during the show that your Sparty fandom is gone. Yeah, right. Last night's show was pure rivalry-fueled antagonism, which you thinly cloaked as "getting a rise out of Michigan fans." Word to the wise: pushing buttons to get a rise out of people is antagonism, not good journalism. You weren't teaching your listeners anything about your callers who "rose to the bait;" you were teaching us that you are the kind of sports fan who tries to bait the other team's fans. Another word for that: "trolling."

"Unless their parents are Spartans, kids in this state naturally become Michigan fans."
I don't necessarily agree with that generalization.
For the most part, you're probably right but I have several friends in the Fowlerville and Webberville area that are Spartan fans but didn't go to State.
Still, +1 for you sir!
I'm not sure who's worse between Valenti and Caputo.
Valenti = Blowhard for the sake of being a blowhard.
Caputo = Can't form a sentence or coherent thought.
But I do know they but suck...

I am also sick of hearing that argument. MSU slappies love to call us arrogant, but I never hear Michigan alumni (and I am one) criticize non alumni for cheering for the team. Not every spartan fan went to state, but I don't remember him making that point.

Why do you accuse him of the generalization over MSU being the team of the working man, then insult the shit out of Sparties by saying the only people who root for them had parents that went there?

Then there's THIS beautiful display of objectivity: "I still would have enough respect for other people, though, to respect their choice of team to root for"--But Michigan kids don't root for Sparty unless their parents went there.

And lets' not stop there: "It's hard to admit someone who chose differently than you could have a valid reason."--But Michigan kids don't root for Sparty unless their parents went there.

And let's close with this: "you're taking Spartan rhetoric about Michigan arrogance and treating it like fact"--However true that may be, you have laced your letter with rhetoric that YOU accept as "fact."

You graduated from Michigan? Really? Is that where you learned to be a hypocrite? Is that where you learned to write self contradictory letters that Pat Caputo will now be able to use as fodder when he chooses to ridicule Michigan fans?

This is an exercise in futility for two reasons: #1--Caputo gets what he is after. One letter represents X number of listeners (probably a couple hundred)--if he got 10 or 20 replies like this, he knows we're listening and will continue to do so. #2: It's completely self defeating with the contradictions and hypocrisy.

"if some Michigan-born man chose the Buckeyes, I wouldn't treat him any different than any other Ohio State fan."

I have Michigan-born friends that somehow chose to become Buckeye fans and I think far less of them for being so than I do for those who live in Ohio or went to Ohio State, at least those people have an excuse.

However, I do tend to listen, to get scores and interviews and such, on Saturday afternoons and evenings after football games.

And from a number of years' experience, I know that this week (M-MSU) is a hard one for Pat Caputo. He's got psychosocial issues with this rivalry. Therapy is probably his best option. Yes, he is relentlessly antagonistic. But he doesn't seem to know it, and/or can't help himself.

I've never once heard any real Michigan man ever use the term "Walmart Wolverine." The term was invented by Michigan haters, to ridicule the large number of non-alumni fans of Michigan football. It was an epithet, to match the "Subway Alum" term commonly used with Notre Dame. ('Walmart Wolverine = one whose only connection to Michigan is the gear he bought at Walmart.')

Now, in the internet era, the term "Walmart Wolverine" has been largely stripped of all rational connection with anything. Michigan-haters use the term "Walmart Wolverine" as a general insult without regard to the term's origin or meaning. Most of the people typing "Walmart Wolverine" onto their message boards have no idea what it is or why it is they using that term at all. At its root, the term isn't an insult to Michigan alumni at all.

Michigan fans didn't invent the term; they don't use the term; and Michigan fans and supporters aren't guilty of the pervasive gross misuse of the term in the internet age.

Anyway, I liked the OP's letter to Pat Caputo. I think Caputo actually does read mail like that. He's certainly got issues, but I get the vague impression that he is a guy with a conscience, too.

I always thought the term "subway alums" meant Notre Dame alums living in NYC, which would seem to be a common destination for many ND alums, as I know it is for many U of M alums and alums from all manner of universities. As I just completely wrong here? I'm curious.

I think you wasted your time. First, my guess is that that he didn't read it, or just counted it as a Michigan fan he got a response from.

There are a number of guys in the Detroit sports radio scene who, frankly, have little to say. They get through their shows by trying to piss people off and getting them to call in. They then try to claim that makes them "controversial." Caputo is one of these guys, Drew Sharp is another. Pat is sometimes good on baseball, on anything else he is useless.

Caputo made the first WMW comment to a caller who was being an ignorant Michigan slappy, and he took a flyer and guessed correctly that it was not an alum.

A few more calls ensued.

Then someone called and pointed out that they were a Michigan fan, not because they graduated, but because of spinal surgery at UM hospital that basically saved his life. There was a pause, they went to break, and no more WMW comments.

It's radio, people. Most experienced hosts will try to stir things up a bit and get a caller riled, particularly one who is spewing partisan crap about a rival without any point or logic.

I think that thin-skinned Michigan grads are worse than the sarcastic Spartys. Why?

College football at all levels is a marketing tool used by schools to bind their alumni and students closer to the school as well as attract interest to their university. Like it or not, universities are a business. They have to find ways to attract customers(i.e: students). That is what college football and basketball have become for schools.

I went to EMU. They would dearly love the "Wal Mart Wolverines" and "Save More Spartans" to transfer their loyalty to EMU. Any school would.It generates alot of money and attention to their school. That would be a boon no school would pass up.

Cuputo also seems to ignore Izzo's attempt at making MSU "Michigan's team" during their FF run as well as the outline of the state that is currently on the back of MSU's helmet. His Alma Mater is blatantly reaching out to those he and other Spartan fans are insulting.

Cuputo is an excellant baseball reporter, but that's about it. He is a hypocritical windbag.

After all these years is their any other family acceptable term for him? Inarticulate, confused, not too bright. He had a show years ago on DFN in the morning with Mark Wilson, a genuinely witty man. I thought Caputo was pretty good but subsequent iterations of him on radio convinced me that Wilson carried his sorry untalented ass. If the man had any talent he would have graduated from the Oakland Press to at least a Detroit daily. After all, even a hack like Rosenberg can get a job with the Freep.

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