Londoners excited to begin complaints about Night Tube

Londoners awoke to the thrill of a slightly new thing to complain about.

After Transport for London and the International 4th Commune Union of Transport Revolutionaries agreed to begin a night-time tube service (a ‘night tube’ if you may), Londoners have expressed their satisfaction at a new target for their bitter and feeble complaints.

Jill Hopkins told us, ‘I love getting into work and complaining to my colleagues about the tube being delayed. Or crowded. Or dirty. Now I can do the same thing to my housemates when I get home from a night out’.

One man expanded on this point, ‘For too long I’ve pissed off my mates who moved away from London by talking about congestion on the Northern Line every morning. One friend even told me it wasn’t relevant to her life in Liverpool and that most people in the UK didn’t even use the tube…

But now the Night Tube’s here I’m going to have a whole new thing to hate-share on the group chat – they’re probably dying to hear more!’.

Finally, one city worker had this to say. ‘As a fairly horrid man myself it’s not going to change too much for me. Instead of complaining about congestion, I can moan that the one guy actually in the carriage with me is pissing into an empty Strongbow bottle.

Instead of complaining about people’s arms getting in my face, I can whine about girls I awkwardly chat up at 4am not wanting to come back to mine.’

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