Well, my friends are gone and my hair is greyI ache in the places where I used to playAnd I’m crazy for love but I’m not coming onI’m just paying my rent every day in the Tower of Song

I said to Hank Williams, how lonely does it get?Hank Williams hasn’t answered yetBut I hear him coughing all night longOh, a hundred floors above me in the Tower of Song

I was born like this, I had no choiceI was born with the gift of a golden voiceAnd twenty-seven angels from the Great BeyondThey tied me to this table right here in the Tower of Song

So you can stick your little pins in that voodoo dollI’m very sorry, baby, doesn’t look like me at allI’m standing by the window where the light is strongAh, they don’t let a woman kill you, not in the Tower of Song

Now, you can say that I’ve grown bitter but of this you may be sureThe rich have got their channels in the bedrooms of the poorAnd there’s a mighty judgment coming, but I may be wrongYou see, you hear these funny voices in the Tower of Song

I see you standing on the other sideI don’t know how the river got so wideI loved you baby, way back whenAnd all the bridges are burning that we might have crossedBut I feel so close to everything that we lostWe’ll never, we’ll never have to lose it again

Now I bid you farewell, I don’t know when I’ll be backThey’re moving us tomorrow to that tower down the trackBut you’ll be hearing from me baby, long after I’m goneI’ll be speaking to you sweetly from a window in the Tower of Song

Yeah, my friends are gone and my hair is grayI ache in the places where I used to playAnd I’m crazy for love but I’m not coming onI’m just paying my rent every day in the Tower of Song

Campbell Newman, Liberal politician and known turtle-person, has lost his seat of Ashgrove in the recent Queensland state election.

“Well, that sucks.” He said as he chewed on some tadpoles he had just caught from wetlands he had recently poisoned in anticipation to the widespread destruction to the Great Barrier Reef he had wanted to inflict on the state.

“I guess I didn’t say "stronger Queensland” enough times? Isn’t that how you win elections? You repeat the same lie over and over despite all the facts going against you and hope people have short term memory loss.“

"Maybe it was the inflection…” he pondered to himself as he shoved more live tadpoles into his mouth. “Stronger Queensland. Stronger Queensland? STRONGER! queeeeeeeeenslind. Strongah Quinslond. Stronedict Cumbersland. Stronger Queensland!”

“Just go home already!” yelled a frustrated ABC journalist who had been covering Newman live for the past hour as he had reached into his seemingly unending bucket of tadpoles. “It’s over! IT’S OVER!”