Skype Kills More Than Drones Part II — Beth

It’s time to make this rant personal [See Part 1). Here it comes Beth. Don’t forget I love you as a spectacular creation, even if you were a colicky baby. Your mama loved you, and here we are, deciding who should live and who should die. I should apologize for my mockery. It’s been a trying week with much time spent in a hospital, so I’m in fine form. Let’s begin at the beginning. Last week in Iowa we had a State Representative explain just what she really thinks about babies, and how she knows as a woman, when its okay to kill them. She doesn’t look like a Barbie Doll, oh no, so we can’t call her Abortion Barbie like that psycho they have in Texas.

I tried to think of a cool name for our baby killing machine, but there’s not much to work with here. Her name is Beth Wessell-Kroeschell, she’s a Democrat from Ames, home of the Iowa State Cyclones and nemesis to my beloved Hawkeyes. I almost blamed her stupidity on being a Cyclone, but I couldn’t even bring myself to do that. Even Cyclones aren’t as certifiable as this ding dong. Cyclone parents love their offspring. They buy all kinds of Red and Yellow crap to dress them in only setting them up for the sadness of defeat in Kinnick Stadium, but hey, it’s their right.

I’m sure this song is one of our Beth’s favorites. The only other thing of interest about dear Beth was her hyphenated name, but that is rather cliché’ for a liberal these days. I mean, really , doesn’t everyone hyphenate? I mean only a self-deprecating ignoramus servant of men would give up their name to their husband! Okay, here is the best I’ve got. We can call her…Beth “I kill babies for crying” Wessell-Whatever. I know it’s not very catchy, but it packs a punch.

Alright, back to business, I need to drop my sarcastic mockery of baby murder and get to the point. A real live state representative said the following. She is a Democrat so that makes it hard to understand. In hopes of helping with the understanding I have added the truth behind the words in bold.

I want to let you know that we as women know about babies. (Men don’t know squat about babies) We love them. (Especially in pictures on Facebook) We adore them. (Our vagina makes this possible) But we also know that they have the challenges they bring.(Do you know how challenging it is to go partying with a baby?) They have colic, (make it stop) the sleepless nights, (I need my beauty sleep) the finances, (Dang, diapers are pricey, I need a government subsidy) the disciplinary challenges, (I’m against spanking, it’s way too violent) the education challenges,(Public schools suck-Go Common Core) the birth defects, (It could look funny, what would people say?) the mental health issues, (What is euthanasia anyway?) the learning disabled (If it’s dumb it could be a Republican)…the list goes on and on. And what women do know is that we know where our limits are. (We can’t pee standing up, we just can’t. We try, but it’s really squatting) We absolutely know where our limits are –whether we’re ready, (ready for some no consequences sex? you bet!) whether we’re physically ready,(I’ve been working out, I’m ready. Bring it on) whether we’re emotionally ready, (Xanax, check, got it) whether we’re financially ready to be parents– (Aren’t rubbers free almost everywhere? It only takes five seconds to make Cool Hand Luke wrap that rascal! WTH) And we have the right to make those decisions.” (Yeah, Sandra Fluke or whatever her name is said so)

I’m sorry; I couldn’t resist mocking every word out of her mouth. Beth knows her limits? I wish she would limit speaking in public to never again. As dumb as Beth Wesley-Von-Hitler-whatever-her-name-is she did shine a light on one thing, the truth.

The truth is the Democrats don’t want abortion safe, legal, and rare. They want it as a form of birth control. Killing a human being is not a problem for them, it’s birth control. The sanctity of life? What’s that? Life at conception? All silly to them. Getting rid of living babies because they are inconvenient is not a right or a choice, it’s murder. So if you can’t keep yourself from hopping in the sack with Tom, Dick, and/or Harry, then stop yourself from getting pregnant by using one of several idiot proof contraceptive methods so readily available. For goodness sake, they teach kids how to put a condom on a cucumber in school! Talk about a learning disability, back in the day we had to figure that out on our own!

Cue the Kiss song again…oh Beth, what can I do? Nobody is outlawing the wholesale killing of innocent babies in Iowa. You will never have to hear the sound of a baby crying, ever! God knows the murderous baby killers in the Senate won’t let this bill see the light of day, so even your Skype-killing is probably safe. Who needs a drone when you’ve got Skype? Oh Beth what can I do? I think I hear a baby crying, gotta run!

S.C. Sherman grew up a farm kid in rural Iowa. He graduated from the University of Iowa with a degree in Communications Studies. Steve is a business owner, and recently ran for Iowa State House of Representatives.. S.C. enjoys political commentary and great stories. He has written three fiction novels found at scsherman.com. He currently lives with his wife and four children in North Liberty, Iowa.

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