Friday, December 9, 2011

Yes There Is Change Coming

And no I am not speaking about the kind of change that people voted for in 2008. I am talking about some personal changes that are going on in my life.

I have normally been a happy person throughout most of my life. When I got married I kind of lost/forgot the person I was prior to getting married. After leaving my ex-wife I was on track to getting back to myself. Then a relationship gave me another setback. After that one ended, I got back to myself again. I had not been as happy with myself at that moment since I was a teenager.

Then I made some really tough decisions/actions/etc two years ago that changed my life for the worse. And it was during the last two years that I started to lose the person that was Oilfield Trash. Well except for here where I write, this was the only place I was still sort of myself. If you noticed, I never lost my sense of humor.

And as you know the last six months at work consumed my life. It became a living hell for me. I became a huge asshole because I was always working, always tired, always stressed, sick daily, mentally exhausted, I couldn’t give any time to anyone who asked. Basically I shut out everyone from my life and I knew it. All I wanted to do was SLEEP.

I basically lost the core person I was and had become someone else that I did not know.

Now I knew back in May and June that I was rock bottom in a hell hole. And I knew that as soon as my work situation got better in October/November that I had to make a lot of changes.

So in October I started working on these changes. In no particular order I am going to do, doing, or have done the follow:

1. I quit drinking Mountain Dew. Yes I said it. I was addicted to Mountain Dew more than sex and I gave it up cold turkey. Yes I had a lot of headaches for a while but it was worth it. Not only am I saving money by not drinking it, but I am also not getting tons of sugar that just made me fat.

2. I started drinking tons of water in lieu of not drinking Mountain Dew. I have been drinking so much water I have changed my name to H2O. And I can’t remember the last time my urine was any other color than clear.

3. I started walking one to two miles a day. Now this one combined with the no more Mountain Dew since mid October has caused me to lose 25 pounds.

4. As you know I quit smoking two weeks ago. And when you combine the first three things with the no smoking, you can see why I feel fucking GREAT each and every day. I literally feel like a million bucks.

5. I am getting more in touch with my feelings for things. I told you earlier this week about how I learned the tough lesson of saying I love you to someone. This one has made me feel a lot better.

6. I am spending more time with my kids and doing stuff just for them and only them.

7. I am taking time each week and each day to do something just for me. This is a huge one for me since in the last couple of years I have forgot that I need to do that.

8. I am also not letting anyone or anything bother me anymore. People at work, situations, etc are no longer bothering me and not worth the time/effort/stress to ever let stuff bother me.

9. I am also being a nicer person to everyone since I have always been a truly nice person to everyone.

10. I am getting back to being more spiritual.

11. I am trying and learning to control my temper. And this is a huge one for me.

Now a lot of this stuff is really hard to do, and I am struggling with them all the time.

As a result of doing all of this stuff, I have got “ME” back. I feel like I did when I was 21. I feel like I can conquer the world. It truly is a great thing to have “ME” back.

26 comments:

Welcome back! I'm so happy to see you are taking steps towards being a happier you...in return everyone will benefit but especially your children. There is nothing you can't do when you feel healthier...kudos to you! :) Keep up the great work.

Hi! I'm from Italy and arrived here by chance (so if I make mistakes in my English) you know the reason. I realize that I need to make a series of changes in my life and I'm finding it very difficult to start but to read what someone else has done (is doing) for himself left me with a very positive, encouraging feeling...that change is possible. Thank you for sharing and good luck!

KICK ASS! Hooray for you OT! I have been going through some changes in life as well. If you aren't happy with you, how can you possibly be happy for your kids? They deserve their own "happy" and a happy daddy as well!

The anger and the one about not letting things bother you- those two go together. If you don't let it bother you, how can you get pissed about it?

Number 9? I started smiling at people. For no reason other than to smile at them. Sometimes that is all it takes to change Their day and make it better. And not just a simple smile, but a warm, welcoming smile with depth to it. Try it sometime. I dare you! It can be contageous...

Wow! OT!! WOW! This is amazing! first of all, way to go for seeing that there were some things not working for you and then setting about making them work. I am sooooo inspired by all that you have shared here. Wow! I don't even know what else to say...but wow! Amazing! And yay you!

@ Pixie, yes that is all true. And I have been smiling at people. Lots of people. And lots of people have said how happy I am when they see me.

@ Bushman, thank you so much.

@ Eva, thank you. And just do it. Make up your mind and go for it.

@ Cinderita, yes it is very amazing. I have had so much stuff change for me and I am just now starting to share it with you. You will be amazed at some more stuff that I have to write about in the coming days and weeks.

@ Sugarfree, thank you so much.

@ Pam, thank you very much. Just make up your mind and quit smoking!!!! You can do it, but you have to make up your mind FIRST.

ME = More Energetic! Getting your ME back is wonderful and I am very happy for you OT- you deserve it!

Happiness always starts when we look in the mirror and have that little chat with our self, and when we listen to this little chat and act upon it we are richly rewarded with more of the ME we've been missing!