Could somebody please help.

Hello,
I'm writing this as a cry for help. I recently lost my father(death), gf(broke up/rejected) and baby(abortion) within two months. I have had a terrible upbringing and am "programmed" to respond to traumatic events, especially ones of abandonment with the idea that life is terrible and is not worth living. I am trying very hard to keep myself in control of my feelings as I keep getting told they change. I am alone and unloved and find the idea of staying here very difficult to value.

Hi hun sorry you lost your father and that things are so rough for y ou now. Is there anyone you can reach out to hun to talk Sometimes just knowing someone is there to listen helps
I suffer from abandonment issues too hun so i know how painful it can get. YES hun things change new people come into the picture that will take you on another path one with less pain.
Keep talking here hun ok keep letting the pain out here it helps hugs

Thanks for the kind words. I'm see a pt but other then that it's just me. I am very isolated and very frightened to go out. I have a hard time talking with people because this is all that's going through my head. How do you deal with your abandonment issues?

i have been talking to a psychologist hun it helps some really the pain stays inside me still i guess one has to learn to trust again i know that is a hard one. Took me along time to reach out for help. Is there anyone that can come to see you then hun a parish person or family it does not help to isolate it only hurts you more inside doing that Isolation god it hurts I found coming to this forum and other forums helped because i did not feel so alone then SF has allowed me to be me without judgement hun I hope you keep talking ok go into chat meet new people so you know you are not alone hugs

Having had a bucket load of loss the last few years, I know just how floored you are probably feeling.
Hang in there, we aint much, but you will always find a friendly and understanding ear here.
Isolated and feeling lonely, there's the chatroom if you feel up to using it.
Even if you only use the forum, there are many people here who will understand what you are going through and will be here for you.

I understand in many ways how you feel inside - but I have to say that I approach living with even more need to survive now. I lost my son to suicide. A person's heart can never be as broken as through the loss of a child who has grown with them and been their best friend. Two months ago, my father died. He passed away slowly, calling out for me the whole time... but my mother would not let me see him because of an argument I have had with her. This past Friday, my Siberian Husky (dog) fell to the Texas heat and within minutes he died. Totally unexpected and totally senseless. I didn't ever imagine that a young dog (7 years) could die almost instantly just because it was hot outside (he had shade and more than ample water). Add to this, many years ago my wife and I lost our first child (so we have lost total 2), a baby that only survived a few minutes at birth.

Heart broken? No... more like heart is shattered and void.

So you see, I am in a similar experience as you. My mother and my sister won't even talk to me since we lost our son. My other two boys are sad and sharing these same losses. It's rough and tough and horrible.

That being said though, life is important. I know it is important because of how much I hurt when someone else is lost. We all will go away some day, so there seems no reason not to continue to fight - perhaps do something good and make some things right in a world where there is a need for so much improvement.

wow it seems like you've been through a lot lately but don't stop trying you were good enough to have one girl for a while. So I'm sure if you keep looking you will find a better girl for you and one that won't break your heart. I'm sure your dad loves you and wouldn't want to see you hurt like this. I think you should have a funeral or do something to honor the unborn child I know it sounds stupid but it might make you feel better I wish you the best.