Message from a Non-Custodial Mother

One mother shares how being the non-custodial parent is best for her and her daughters. Despite the harsh words and criticism from family and friends she expresses contentment with her choice.

As a non-custodial mother I do not have physical custody of my two children. In fact, my kids live on the other side of the nation with their father.

This arrangement was not my first choice. My divorce was high conflict and was inflicting intense emotional pain on my girls. I believed that the only option was to remove myself from the situation-even at the sacrifice of my relationship with my sweet girls.

Not everyone understands. There seems to be this stigma attached when a mother does not have custody of her children. There is a double standard. Men without custody are not ostracized by friends and family. In fact, men receive empathy, support, and sympathy. I lost friends! I was ridiculed! Several relatives still keep their distance from me.

I am connected with my girls. We use skype IM, FB, texting and talk on the phone. We have a close relationship. In my heart I believe I am a good mother and feel that this is best for my family.