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Surviving Summer…with a Behavior Chart!

I absolutely love having my little men home with me for the summer, but there are days when their behavior makes me CRAZY and for a moment I contemplate enrolling them in boarding school! Can I get an amen??? I know I’m not the only mom who struggles with repeat offenders.

Let’s face it, we all want to be good moms, but it’s the children who make our mothering abilities difficult. {Well, and our own sin-nature, but for all intensive purposes I’m just going to focus on the kiddos for a moment.} I’m not short with my little men after their first offense, or even their second offense, but by the time we’ve reached the third, fourth, and twelfth offense I’m losing it! And then I feel horrible about myself and for them because I never intended to be an “ugly mom!”

After just a few short weeks I knew that something was going to have to change around here because I was spending WAY too many days having “ugly mom” moments. Of course, it’s not ALL on my little men, I’ll get to what I’ve been doing shortly. But the first thing I did was create a Behavior Chart. Yes, a FUN rainbow colored one!! {give me all the colors of the rainbow}

We have a rule in our house during the school year that they only get screen time from Friday (after school) – Sunday. This has worked really well for us for a couple reasons:

By limiting their screen time, it forces them to be more creative and use their imagination on a daily basis.

Since they don’t get screens daily, if something comes up and we need to give them devices to hold their attention while we sit in a long doctor’s appointment or during a long car ride, it actually serves its purpose. It becomes something that is special, a treat!

Lastly, I don’t know about you, but after my little men spend even 30-minutes playing video games, it is a REAL struggle to get them back into playing on their own or even with each other. They are generally more whiny and struggle to use their imagination and that just can’t be good. Plus, it drives me CRAZY! I’m over here like, “ALL day you’ve been playing and using your imagination without prompting or help and after 30-minutes of a screen you’ve forgotten how to do that!” {insert all the mom eye rolls}

We are going to continue with our Friday – Sunday screen time rule, however, I decided to offer 30-minutes of screen time during the week for the summer as a reward for good behavior. Below you’ll find two versions of our Behavior Chart. One is an exact replica of the one we have hanging on our fridge and the other is a bit more simple. You can click on the link to download a printable version, print, and laminate. If you’re looking for a good inexpensive laminator, check out this one! It’s my favorite!

Behavior Chart #1

Behavior Chart #2

I had some extra clothes pins and wrote the boy’s names on them. They serve as our chart markers. One more thing that has helped tremendously has been the purchase of a large 60-minute visual analog timer. I use it for timeouts and for keeping track of their 30-minute screen time reward, amongst other things. My little men can see how much time is left without having to ask me every 30-seconds! Totally worth the investment!

How To Use The Behavior Chart:

You can use the behavior chart anyway you want, the possibilities are endless. Here’s how we use the chart…

Anytime I have to remind the boys or reprimand them more than once for a particular behavior I notify them that they will be moving down. If they remain in blue and purple all day, then while I’m making dinner they will earn 30-minutes of screen time as a reward. If they get to yellow they are in timeout for 15 minutes, if they get to orange they lose their post dinner dessert (and obviously their bonus screen time), and if they get to red (man, that’s been a bad day) they go to bed 30-minutes early (a reward for Mommy).

We are only two weeks into using the behavior chart, but it’s made a HUGE difference for our family. I hope it helps in your day-to-day activities and blesses your family, too. Us moms have got to stick together!

I must say, my little men need to work on self-control and obedience (being a first-time listener), but I play a piece in this, too. How am I to expect them to demonstrate self-control when I, myself, are losing control and having daily “ugly mom” moments? A couple weeks ago, I felt convicted by my short fuse. I realized that I hadn’t been consistent in my morning quiet time with God, so I began to start each day by praying for my little men’s hearts and behavior and also for my patience. When I look back at the times when I’ve lacked patience and felt overwhelmed, I began to notice a trend. All are times when I’m spending less time with God. So you know what, if you find yourself overwhelmed and lacking patience, cry out to God, because it’s probably a sign that you need MORE of HIM!

This summer doesn’t have to be filled with daily “ugly mom” moments. It can be filled with joy and peace, we just need a little more patience and a LOT more grace!

P.S. If you use our Behavior Chart, be sure to snap a pic and tag us with #LKBehaviorChart. I’d love to see how you’re using it!

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Wife, Boy Mom, & Jesus Follower!

I love fountain cokes, cookie dough (egg free, of course), bright colors, flowers, high standards, old movies and above all else, my Lord and Savior! I may have gained the title, Food Allergy Mom, but it isn't going to stop our family from loving the abundant life that we've been given.