How well have you lived your life?

Have you ever considered how well you've lived your life? Does it have meaning and purpose? What connections have you made that enrich your life? Who will remember any of us long after we're gone?

These and other questions are explored by John Green in his book "The Fault In Our Stars." I recently finished the book, (on loan from my dear friend Morna). It paints a touching and heartfelt portrait of the human condition through the eyes of quick-witted teens in love and living with cancer. The story felt intimate and honest, and moved me to tears several times. Through the eyes of our hero Hazel Grace, life is celebrated, even during emotional and physical pain.

Three years ago, I learned about Bret Hoefen when I was looking for people who successfully completed Rochester Rehabilitation’s driver evaluation and training program, DriveOn. Before I could contact him about for an interview to share his story, his health had deteriorated from a rare and aggressive form of cancer called clear cell sarcoma(CCS), which had contributed to his full leg amputation.

“Now’s the time and Shannon, myself, and my parents are making this happen. Because it is less than the ideal time of year to travel our only plan is to head south, and our motorcycles are coming, and visit as many people along the way as we can until my leg becomes too painful to continue. Through this blog I plan to document our adventure. I don’t want this to be sappy and depressing, but I do want everyone to know how much they mean to me. I’ll do my best to keep it upbeat.”

When I first read through these raw and touching reflections nearly two-and-a-half years ago, a familiar face caught my eye: Carolina DeHond. Carolina, now 35, has been living with CCS for half of her eldest daughter Victoria's life and nearly all of her youngest daughter Mikayla's. I know this because Victoria and my son James, both 12, have attended the same school since Kindergarten. Our paths crossed frequently helping with classroom parties, fun days, and field trips.

Earlier this Spring, Mikayla knocked on my door selling Girl Scout cookies. After asking Mikayla which cookies were her favorite – peanut butter – I bought three boxes. As she played with my dog Beck, Carolina and I talked about our kids, school, people we knew, dogs, and cancer. She said she was feeling good, in remission, and still hoping to find a cure by experimenting on herself with alternative therapies and holistic remedies.

Recently, however, Carolina learned that the cancer had recurred and spread.

Since her diagnosis in 2008, Carolina has worked hard to create a network of CCS survivors to comfort each other, share stories, treatments, and hope, via emails. She also created a Facebook Page – CarolinasFightForLife– to update more than 700 friends, family and supporters who want to help and stay in touch. Carolina's family and friends have galvanized around her time after time, to raise money for costly treatments. In late June, her parents Juan and Maria Contreraras of the infamous Empanada Stop at The Rochester Public Market held a fundraiser – in support of Carolina's trip to Germany to receive whole body hyperthermia treatment.

Carolina traveled to a German hospital at the beginning of July. While there, she's faced hurdle after hurdle, which caused delays in receiving treatment. And yet, she remains positive, tenaciously posting updates to her Facebook Page when she can. The outpouring of support and prayers on her behalf seem to give her strength.

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'." – Erma Bombeck.

I believe people come into our lives for a reason. Maybe it's to share their talent with us, to love us, or to be loved. Last year, I connected with Betsy Hoefen, Bret's mom through my blog. Recently, I asked Betsy, an artist and teacher, why the family kept Bret's blog up on the web. She told me that Bret's blog still gives her strength.

"His voice comes through clearly…it’s like he’s here talking to us,” said Betsy. “The blog gave Bret a reason to look for cool things to write about. It's important to have a purpose rather than just focusing on the bad things that are happening to you."

That's what Carolina is doing. She's using her God-given talent to purposefully help anyone touched by CCS. From creating awareness, to connecting with CCS survivors and reaching out to family and friends who've lost their loved ones. Carolina is working on a mission, and she's got a lot more good work left to do in this world.

"Never give up on yourself. Then you will never give up on others." –Pema Chödrön

How well have you lived your life?

For more than two decades, Kristine Bruneau has made a career from writing and marketing communications. Her commentaries, stories, and reviews have appeared in a variety of publications, including Rochester Magazine and Rochester Woman Magazine. She posts regularly to her Mommy Musings blog at kristinebruneau.com where she explores lessons learned from her son on motherhood, love, and life. Kris is currently working on a book inspired by these lessons and their resulting conundrums. She loves feedback, but hates spam – send her a comment.