"To All The Girs I've Loved Before"

"To All The Girls I Took On Dates"

The Lyrics

Internet dating must be tough. I've never tried it myself. It might be because I find it impersonal. It might be because I find it risky. But, I think the real reason is because my wife won't let me ! This parody is based on stories told to me by a friend (yeah...right IB)

To All The Girls I Took On Dates

To all the girls I took on datesSome local, some from other statesI'm glad you went away There’s much I have to sayTo all the girls I took on dates

The first one was a scary bitchShe asked straight out if I was richShe said she wouldn’t go (N.B. not the original parody lyric)If I should tell her “no”To all the girls I took on dates

These psycho chicks are always posting Pathetic ads with phony statsBut when I meet them they are hostingGigantic butts and skanky tats

To all the girls who told me liesWhile married, still, to other guys I thank you for good luck (N.B. not the original parody lyric)We made you spouse a “cuck”To all the girls I took on dates

To all the girls that clung to meWhile filled with insecurity Your calling was derangedI’ve had my number changedTo all the girls that clung to me

These psycho chicks are always tryingTo meet a guy just like Brad PittBut when I meet them they start cryingBecause I just won’t take their…pranks (memo to IB-in line two use Tom Hanks)

To all the girls who dined with meTo only get a meal for freeThe evening was quite tame Now “dinner whore’s” your nameTo all the girls who dined with me

To all the girls I took on datesWho got too drunk or showed up lateThe sex was just OKNow please just go awayTo all the girls I took …on… dates

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