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political convention

Thursday, December 24, 2015

The Art of the Squeal

GOFFSTOWN, N.H. — As the third Democratic debate faded to a five-minute commercial break, Hillary Clinton had exactly one minute and 45 seconds to walk out of the gymnasium at St. Anselm College to the ladies’ restroom and one minute and 45 seconds to return to her place on stage.Clinton arrived back to the debate stage about 20 seconds after the broadcast resumed, leading to speculation about the reason she took so long in the bathroom.Latest Headlines:

Presidential candidate Donald Trump went missing for 20 minutes from the cabin of his private airliner last night as it flew over Iowa on the way to South Carolina. During his disappearance the plane hit extreme turbulence and dropped 5,000 feet in just a few seconds.

Crew members discovered an exhausted and pale Trump in his private bathroom in the rear of the plane. When questioned later, crew members, who would not give their names, said the scene in the bathroom was unbelievable. "It was disgusting," said one flight attendant. "Far worse than Hilary Clinton. Up to the ankles."

When questioned by reporters later, Trump said that reports he had soiled himself were "just plain lies" concocted by the Clinton campaign. "Can't a guy just take a leak without you creeps making a headline out of it?"

The Clinton campaign had no comment on the controversy, which is becoming known in the media as "potty gate" or "Trump's Dump."