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Thursday January 16 2014

It is robbery when you abandon a man after accepting his dowry

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By Kiiza Akiiki

I hear a bell ringing in my head. It is my wedding, the day Allan will finally walk me down the aisle. I think this will be the happiest day of my life and will probably make me a complete woman. I miss being called Mrs. Not that I am tired of my name but I just feel it is time I used someone else’s name. I don’t know if it is jealousy, but whenever I see my agemates getting married, I feel as though my turn is taking long to come.We have started discussing our wedding, listing down those who will stand by our side. We are, however, unsure on how to best give them the news. Should we approach them physically or write to them?

I have heard couples complain about people who pledge during meetings but disappear when the time is due. I don’t want this to happen to us. I need advice from those who have been there on how to have a historical ceremony. I have witnessed so many wedding ceremonies and watched others on television but none of the memories is vivid.

There is this couple whose wedding ended in a mess last weekend after the bride ran out of church a few minutes to taking her vows. She hid under her bed and when the police forced her out she said she had been denied a chance to talk to her parents before the wedding as is the tradition. The other reason was that she couldn’t get wedded in sandals, nigiina – how awful would her pictures be?Her parents also claimed that the groom was once a mad man and was too poor, ugly and perhaps HIV-positive. I can’t imagine how the poor man must have felt after investing so much time and money. Poor man travelled all the way from Kampala to Masaka-Villa Maria.

I couldn’t help but wonder why this woman would waste this man’s time, and why she had to leave him waste his little money. Where were the bride’s relatives? Why didn’t they stop the preparations if they thought he could not take good care of their daughter? Why did they accept gifts from the introduction? Is it that her parents didn’t groom her well? This couple had cohabited for three years, so what could explain this woman’s act? Women out there are praying hard, becoming devotees just to be wedded.

Isn’t it funny that as some couples are cancelling their weddings, some of us are eagerly waiting? How ironic! As much as we want to be wedded, we women should take time to study our spouses and also prepare ourselves for the next step in life. Need a woman really target to use men to improve her family status?

Parents and relatives need to embrace our choices. We don’t want to waste people’s time and money. kakiiki27@gmail.com