5. Approach with Gradualness

by Sherry Piatti

Time for some fun! The next real solution on how to be the best is through a gradual what if mentality. When we worry about the what ifs we form adverse mental pictures. We then respond to negative pictures as if they were our present reality. It’s this what if mentality that will allow us to approach with gradualness any goal we desire, thus eliminating resistance towards the goal.

Since our nervous system cannot distinguish between a real experience and an imaginary event, the importance of guarding our thoughts closely becomes clearly apparent. Every belief whether good or bad, true or false was formed gradually without effort, sense of strain or will power. Habits are created in much the same way. To approach with gradualness towards a good habit is just as effective as it is for acquiring bad habits.

In our predictions of doom society it is easy to understand how negativity sinks effortlessly into our subconscious! For this reason alone it makes perfect sense to immerse oneself in positive inspirational messages on a daily, if not hourly, basis. Make it a habit to watch, listen, taste, smell and feel positive messages, events, scents, sounds, and sustenance.

When a negative message crosses your desk immediately replace it with every positive aspect at that very moment. Feel the paper and remind yourself it is just paper. Turn you attention to the positives in your surroundings.

Notice the music or sounds of nature in the background. Dab aromatic lotion on your hands and enjoy the scent. Pop a favorite low-calorie candy or mint in your mouth and savor the flavor. Do what it takes to put yourself in a positive receptive state of mind, then begin your approach with gradualness towards your desired goal.

This is where the fun starts.

Positive affirmations seep into our subconscious best when we are in our most receptive, non-resistant state. To affirm, “I am a multi-millionaire” will feel deceitful if you are in a resistant state and especially if you are not a multi-millionaire. Your subconscious will reject an abrupt grandiose affirmation unless you first heighten your state of receptiveness. Therefore your approach with gradualness will begin with sensory changes as mentioned above. You will then be more open to accept affirmations.

If you are still unable to change your thinking at the moment then approach your affirmation with further gradualness. For example, to eliminate chronic worry begin by gradually replacing words of doubt with thoughts such as, What if we reach our sales goals? Or, Just suppose we secure the biggest contract in the industry! Or how about, Imagine if we receive $25,000, $10,000, $5,000 or even $1,000 in unexpected income by Friday! Set a level that feels highly possible for you at that moment.

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We often love the words: I should have, I’m too busy, or can’t . . . don’t we? So play around with these phrases typically used as negatives and turn them into positives. Use the examples as follows to practice the approach with gradualness technique:

“I should have . . . believed in myself more.”

“I’m too busy . . . feeling positive”

“I can’t get over my . . . enormous success!”

“I don’t have enough time to . . . deposit all the money I’m earning!”

“What if we . . . exceed our membership goal?”

“Just suppose we have . . . an abundance of guests next week.”

“Just suppose . . . I succeed!”

“Just suppose I am my . . . ideal weight.”

“What if I sell . . . millions of books?”

What you do not want to do is use double negatives or end sentences pessimistically. An example would be, “I cannot allow their criticism to get to me.” This sentence not only contains double negatives – cannot and criticism, it also endson a negative note – get to me.

Avoid saying, “I am so broke.” Negative talk only invites more of the things you do not want. The goal is to end negative thoughts with positive inspiration rather than negative mental pictures. If you habitually cling to negative speech, practice ending your statements on a positive note and remember to approach with gradualness.

Examples include, “I’m so overweight right now, but this too shall pass.” If you begin a statement by saying, “There are so many people applying for this job that I cannot compete.” End the thought with, “So just suppose rather than getting any old job, I am instead hired for the most perfect job for me!” Believe and feel that the right career will come along for you! What will happen for you then?

Time for some fun with the following exercise. Remember to use the approach with gradualness technique.

1. When in a negative frame of mind, make a list of goals written in a tone of gradualness and low-resistance. Use the words ‘what if’ and ‘just suppose’ if they help to make the goals feel right for you at that moment.

If you take just one concept from solution 5: Approach with Gradualness, let it be that Gradualness means Highly Achievable! An achievable goal is a believable, thus stickable goal. Any goal approached with gradualness will increase its odds of achievement every time! Test your present endeavors for sustainability. If tasks are not consistently completed, reduce the pressure and approach with gradualness.

Next, take your new attitude to a deeper level with Solution #6: Genuine Indifference. Solution 6 talks about one of the most important solutions towards achieving a goal, which is to consistently approach it with care and gentleness until you feel genuinely indifferent to its outcome. So practice the exercises above, then read on to Solution 6: Genuine Indifference.

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