The Phone is Not the Problem

Question

So, in response to the answer to my question I have a few other questions. In the past few days a lot has transpired and my husband and I really had it out over my son. I understand a lot of his frustration with the matter and he says now that he wants to take over the whole matter with my son and have me stay out of it completely. Which at first I was worried that he is just so angry he will want to have him move out over slight infractions, but like he said my son has a choice to follow the rules or not follow the rules and pay the consequenses. Needless to say I was not able to mention the suggestion provided to me on here to him. But tonight as he was at work my son and I really got into b/c I took his cell phone away after I told him no cell phone until his chores were done.He went into his room and got on his phone anyway. I took it, then when I left the house he proceeded to go into our room which he has been told to stay away from b/c he has a history of stealing things. I told him he was not going to get his phone back tonight and I was a little concerned that he was going to make things physical as he started grabbing at my purse. He tried to continue to intimidate me for the phone and I continued to tell him that this was a consequence for his action. He continued to pressure me for the phone saying that he needed to move out. He proceeded to tell me that I wanted him out but then several minutes later after I told him to go to his room and calm down so we can talk he told me that I didn't want him to move out and I was just trying to prevent him from trying to get his act together. I took this as a manipulation technique on his part and told him that many a kid have gotten it together without the use of a cell phone. But I guess where I am getting with all of this is... he is on a cell phone plan with our neighbors and he only has this phone b/c they had an exchange student on their plan and when she went home the plan had a few more months under the contract. He has been paying for this with his own money and I was told when I gave consent for him to take over the plan "what I said with his phone went". I forsee him moving out over all of this, do I give the phone back to him since he was paying for it if he moves out? Do I need to provide any assistance for him or does he pretty much cut himself off and he is to take care of business himself even though he is still in school?

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