Tag: mum struggles

The Arrival!

Amazing! You successfully got through the pregnancy without wetting yourself. Your husband managed to keep his life by learning to perfectly time when to nod and agree with you and you have survived childbirth, despite being incredibly tired, temporarily losing your dignity and getting through the pain.

Pain. Yes, childbirth does hurt. Do not believe anyone who tells you it doesn't; these people in your life are not trustworthy! Anyway, you have got through all of that so now you can get some much needed rest and enjoy your new arrival, right?

Giving birth is a mission and you have worked damn hard for last few hours, so now that baby is here you just need to rest and restore your energy. Only, you CAN'T. Not for the next 10 years at least! I haven't slept properly since 2007 so I'm talking from experience here people!

Sleep deprivation is a killer. You thought you were getting the practise in when you were pregnant. When you were getting up at 5am for a wee, then couldn't get back to sleep because Baby had moved making you really uncomfortable...that was NOTHING my friends.

Now you will be required to feed on demand if you choose to breastfeed - oh and that is a choice of yours by the way, not the midwives or health visitors - or you will need to be semi-awake every four hours, round the clock, to bottle feed.

My advice here is to sleep when baby sleeps. Do not try to conquer the housework, cook a delicious home cooked meal or do the laundry. Nope, you must sleep, not just for your sanity but for your general wellbeing.

(NB - that piece of advice is USELESS because when baby sleeps you will be wide awake with your mind doing over time. You will be looking around thinking about how you should just get the washing up done quickly or you'll challenge yourself to get through the ironing pile before baby wakes - you wont be able to rest. However, it's what I was told and I really think that had I taken this on board I might not have felt like I was losing my mind).

#2) When Your Milk Comes In

You thought you were hormonal already!

Well I'm afraid to say that once again you thought wrong. Around day 3 or 4 of being mummy your milk comes in making your already swollen boobs like rock hard boulders!

You laugh like you've never laughed before over something ridiculous like dropping a spoon on the floor.

And when you listen to the radio you cry at a song that isn't even a little bit sad. In fact the song probably has no meaning to you whatsoever!

The crux of it is, throughout your pregnancy there has been a lot of hype and excitement about this arrival, your hormones change to help the healthy growth and development of the baby then when the baby is born everything starts falling back into place. It's a rollercoaster of emotions. This is totally normal.

You don't need to doubt yourself as a mum; like I did and you don't need to think you are the only woman in the world to be so irrational; like I did but you do need accept this temporary change and understand that soon enough all will be back to normal; I wish I had! Don't dwell on the negative emotions you feel at this point. Accept them, brush them off, be grateful for your bundle of joy, hold your head high and carry on being the great mum you know are.

#3) Popping out to the shop

This just doesn't happen anymore! Simples!

Once upon a time you were able to grab your keys and purse and nip out to the shop. Now you have to pack up your entire house, or so it seems, just to get a pint of milk!

You need the pushchair; change bag filled with wipes, nappies, baby milk, muslin squares, calpol, teething gel and god only knows what else (because you always need to expect the unexpected with a baby around); your purse (which you are likely to forget once you have collected everything else) and your keys.

Once you have successfully got through this quick trip to the corner shop you realise baby has fallen asleep in the pram...but you didn't want them to because they won't sleep through the night! So now what? Wake them, listen to the screaming and tire yourself out trying to occupy them or enjoy the peace and pay for it later?

That one is down to you I'm afraid.

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So that's it for Part 2. Next week is Part 3 - Having more than one child. If any of this rings true or if you are expecting soon I'd love to hear from you x

During my pregancy the first time round I was elated, excited and scared. Elated and excited because I had always dreamt of being a mum and here was my chance. Scared because I was still very young, I didn’t know what to expect but I totally wanted to nail being the best mum ever.

My now husband and I went on shopping trips to buy tiny outfits, scratch mittens, little booties and hats, maternity clothes, baby toys, nursery furniture, pushchair and any other piece of baby paraphernalia you can think of.

It was exciting.

I had started to learn how baby was developing at each different stage while still in my tummy, I felt him move, heard his heart beat and couldn’t wait to meet him.

BUT

I quickly learnt that there is ‘stuff’ that is kept from you! Stuff that mums, midwives, doctors, family members and friends don’t tell you. Stuff that when it happens you’re like “why the fuck was I never told about this”! It’s almost like an unwritten rule that certain stuff doesn’t get spoken about.

So guess what?

I’m going to tell you...

I’m going to tell you the three top things that I wish I’d been told!

3 Things ALL Expectant Mums Need To Know is going to be delivered in three parts (pun fully intended)...

Part 1 - Pregnancy & Labour

Part 2 - After the Arrival

Part 3 - Having more than one child

(Disclaimer...the three informative posts in this series are in no way supposed to scare you or put you off having babies, but instead are snippets of information I wish I’d been told so I wasn’t in such shock when I found out for myself!)

#1) Your dignity goes out the window.

I was not prepared for the amount of people that we’re about to see my, um...lady garden. And that is exactly what it had become...a garden! By the end of the pregnancy mowing the lawn is one heck of a task; you can’t even see your feet to put your socks on never mind see...that! So I was mortified when I had to put my legs a kimbo for a stranger to examine me.

Of course you get given blankets and you hide behind a curtain in your own room but come on, it's massively uncomfortable. Oh yes and they weren’t always female either!

During my first Labour the decision was made that I needed to be cut...I tore instead (gross I know, sorry!) so obviously I needed doctors to come and work their magic. At this point, not including my husband, there were 4 people, of which 2 were male, staring at my downstairs!

Having your private room, with blankets to hide under makes NO difference to how you feel right about now! However, whilst I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me I somehow didn’t care. I just wanted whatever had to be done, to get done.

But rest assured these professionals have seen it all before; no ones judging.

#2) Your tits blow up like balloons and your hormones go with them!

I’ve never had a big pair so when they blew up I was loving it. I had a cleavage! But wow did they hurt.

There was a strict no touching policy between my husband and I, unless of course he wanted to be punched in the face! You look amazing, your new boobs makes you feel amazing (as long as you don't touch them), you're glowing and people tell you this all the time so you generally feel great... until you notice your husband hasn't taken his plate out (or has done something else just as trivial). Under 'normal' circumstances you can let this annoyance go but now you feel a rage that is uncontrollable and before you've realised what has happened you've exploded. Guilt follows shortly after...so cry uncontrollably and all the while you're telling yourself you're being completely ridiculous! Once it's safe to do so your partner leans in for a cuddle to make up and give you a bit of tlc but knocks your swollen boobs!!! I think you know what happens next...

#3) Cross your legs when you sneeze!

Pelvic floor exercises are not to be sniffed at. You hear about this exercise a lot when you're having a baby but if you’re anything like me you think ‘ah I’m young, fit and healthy there’s nothing to worry about'...until you sneeze and nearly wet yourself!!Then after that, any sudden movement or strenuous activity such as laughing also causes you to nearly wet yourself - you feel like an old lady!

And this doesn’t really go away after baby arrives - at least not after having 4 kids anyway. Regular pelvic floor exercises from the beginning really will help loads.

If you're unsure how to do it correctly just type it into your search engine or ask your midwife 🙂

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So that’s it for Part 1. Really hope you enjoyed reading.

Next week is Part 2 - After the Arrival...watch this space for some more home truths that all expectant mothers should know!

Mummy’s Munchkins is shifting focus for 2018 and I am very excited to get started.

The blog was originally set up to document what we got up to as a ‘larger than average’ family in the UK, sharing all things parenting which we intend to keep doing but from here on we also aim to provide inspiration and ideas for you to create your own family fun, be it indoors or out.

Mummy’s Munchkins is all about fun, laughter, togetherness and the chaos of family life.

It is lovely to have you here following our journey, as we live Family Life Our Way.