We midwesterners have a fondness for breaking a particular grammar rule. We love to ask: Do you want to come with?

My word-nerd self knows that we should never utter a question that ends with a preposition. Every preposition needs a partner, an object of the preposition. We really should ask, “Do you want to come with me?”

For a long time I resisted this grammatically incorrect trend and completed my question properly in true, former-English-teacher style.

But, true confession, I’ve started to rethink my grammatically correct position. It all comes down to that little word with. I think I have developed a “thing” for it.

With calls to mind so many of my favorite moments of connection.

Bev and I walk with our dogs around our neighborhood every morning and talk about life — the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I gather once a month with three long-time friends for dinner. We fight over cream, laugh about midlife craziness, and listen to each other’s unique journey.

I often sit down at my computer and discover a series of emails from long-ago college roommates. Several years ago we committed to each other that we would stay in touch electronically and that we would share with each other our struggles, joys, hopes, sorrows, and faith.

Every Wednesday morning I sit in a classroom on the second floor of our church and spend time with a group of women who have recently discovered Jesus. As we study the Bible together, I can almost see the Holy Spirit hopping around our room, speaking to hearts and opening eyes.

Yup, I have a “thing” for the word with.

For way too many years, however, I lived on my own steam, confident of my ability to cope with life and sure that Jesus would see me through everything.

Then I hit a series of storms, including my mother’s death and a crippling bout of depression. I cried. I prayed. I thrashed. I begged God to show up. I envisioned Him swooping in and dramatically altering the troubling circumstances of my life.

God had a different plan. He sent me some of my mother’s friends. He reconnected me with long-ago college roommates. He pointed me toward a neighbor right across the street.

They sat and listened to my grief. They pushed me to get out of my house and try some new things. They spoke truth to me about my need to get help. They reminded me of the strength and power of God’s Word:

Thank you for the encouragement. This sounds very much like my story. I am in the storms, and slowly seeking those who will “go with”. The Lord has gifted me with one sweet friend. Please pray the Lord brings more to me – and me to them.

With…. what a profound concept. I’ve been so alone the last several years (even though CONSTANTLY surrounded by my three babies/toddlers)- rarely getting the chance to connect with my old friends or other moms. I feel so secluded, but unable to do anything about it- my husband doesn’t want to go to church, and I can’t get all three kids to church on my own (he can’t handle them alone for long). Most of my friends have moved to other towns, and the only one left has a husband who is bi-polar (he would never admit it) and we never know when he’s not going to want her to be with me. I long for the ability to be ‘with.’ Do you have any suggestions?

I’m so sad that you feel so alone. Those years with little ones are so hard. One of the things that most feeds my soul when I’m lonely is an email I have with four college friends. We are all honest there and share our ups and downs. I like email because I can do it late at night when I have some quiet. Perhaps you could start an email with a few friends. Maybe you could also find a local MOPS group. This would help you meet women at your stage of life, and you would get a break while your kids are cared for lovingly. Asking God to encourage you today and bring you ways to connect with friends.

UniqueDahl,
Prayers for God to end the loneliness. May God send one good friend to do life with–if even online! Find a small group that allows children and join them for quiet time and reflection! Prayers for encouragement and for God to open new ways to connect!
Blessings 🙂

Storms can feel relentless, can’t they? But eventually the snow melts, the tornado lifts, the hail stops. Talking to a friend about it helps so much. So does talking to God. 🙂 Praying you have strength and courage and friends for your stormy journey.

Katie,
Storms will come–but I find comfort in talking to friends. Just telling them of the day to day stuff getting it off my chest! They don’t always offer a solution, but are there t pray for me. May God send you one good friend with whom you can do life and share these trials!

Friends come alongside the brokenhearted; they bring hope and comfort by their mere presence. That is ever so true! I have been going through some family trials for a few years. The ability to talk about it openly helps to alleviate some of the stress I feel. Beginning late last year a group of ex coworkers & I have gotten together once a month for dinner. We discuss our various trials, pray for each other and just do life together! We are blessed to have each other. This group feels safe talking about the intimate details of life–good, bad & ugly! We share life!! The encouragement we share is contagious! We got a card & gift for one member who just lost her dad. Being in small groups with great friends is important! This is what God calls us to do!!
Blessings 🙂

I so agree!! I have a group of three women with whom I have dinner once a month to talk about real life–the good, the bad, and the ugly. How it feeds my soul. I too feel as if living connected is what God calls us to do. It is the way Jesus lived.

Afton, I love everything about this. When we first moved to the NW mountains of NC, the colloquialisms humored me. How are you was answered with “Sorry, how bout you?” or, “I’m ill.” Never meaning they were apologizing or sick. When you visited folks in the evening and it was time to leave they’d say, “Stay the night.” I remember asking my husband if they really wanted us to have a sleepover??? It was all so foreign to me. Now I look back and smile, after 28 years of hearing these odd phrases. I’m all in and ready to go with…xo

Afton,
I had to smile…my husband makes fun of me when I correct the poor grammar of the sports commentators. I have been through the storms of depression and am oh so thankful that I have a God who will and has “gone with”. Knowing His presence is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Thank you for sharing here…
Blessings,
Bev

I once corrected a pastor’s grammar out loud during a sermon. Just popped out of my mouth. Eek! Hope you had friends on your depression journey. That is a tough one. I know it well. My faith sustained me, but I also needed people too–the hands and feet of God.
Nice to connect with a sister word-nerd. 🙂

Afton I really needed this message. I need to be with people who know the Lord and understand what I am going through. Afton you are sounderstaning. I have met people who know the Lord. I need a few close friends to share things with. I need a Storm Sister or two.

So nice to have you here at (in)courage, Lynda. You will like this blog. 🙂 I love hearing how you are being a storm sister to a few women. Being that friend you want to have is the best way I know to develop good friends. Cheering you on!