Tag Archives: self-defense

Now that the Justice Department has declared George Zimmerman a swell human being who merely shot and killed Trayvon Martin but didn’t violate his civil rights, Mr. Zimmerman sat down for a spontaneous, not-at-all scripted-sounding interview with his divorce lawyer, Howard Iken, who apparently doesn’t just do divorces, but is also branching out into journalism. Watch out, Terry Gross, Howard Iken is gunning for your time slot! We’d embed the video, but that is Not Allowed; you can view the whole abomination here.
Read more on George Zimmerman: God Made Me Do It…

Hey, you know what seems like a real bad defense for killing people? Being afraid of their gay. While it’s not the most commonly invoked “self-defense” — certainly not as common as “I had to kill that unarmed black teenager because I was afraid of his black,” for example — it has been used more than zero times, which is more than zero times too many.
Read more on New Jersey To Consider Not Letting You Murder Someone Because You Were Scared Of Their Gay…

George Zimmerman has a lot of free time. His notoriety prevents him from seeking conventional employment, evidently, and he got fired from his last unpaid gig in that the owner of the gun shop he was lurking behind at night for security told him to stop it already. Plus there’s that price on his head.
Read more on George Zimmerman: Be Sure To Buy Your ‘Killing Unarmed Black Kids’ Insurance!…

You remember Marissa Alexander, right? She was the Florida woman who fired warning shots at her abusive husband (and missed) during a domestic dispute and got 20 years for it. Fortunately, she got a new trial, and on Monday, justice was finally served. Unfortunately, as the piping-hot bowl of justice was being served, it was spilled in Marissa Alexander’s lap, and because this is Florida, she still has to pay for her meal.
Read more on Marissa Alexander Officially Not Allowed To Stand Her Ground In Florida…

Michael Dunn, convicted last month for the murder of 17-year-old Jordan Davis, was sentenced today to life in prison with no chance of parole. Since prosecutors did not seek the death penalty in Dunn’s first-degree murder trial, the conviction carried a mandatory life sentence. Judge Russell Healey told the would be ground-stander:
Read more on Oh How Sad, Michael Dunn Is Going To Prison For Life. Wait, Did We Say ‘Sad’?…

Good golly, there’s a whole lot of shootin’ going on! America’s Responsible Gun Owners have been keeping the peace all on their lonesome, some with deadlier results than others. Let’s dig through the shell casings and see what’s out there!
Read more on Gun Fun: Our Responsible Gun Owners Have Been Busy Bees!…

Straight from our “You have GOT to be fucking kidding me” desk: Marissa Alexander, the Florida woman sentenced to 20 years in prison for firing three warning shots into the wall of her home while escaping from her (allegedly) abusive husband, is moving toward a new trial, so that is the good news, insofar as there is any good news in this insane case. This being Florida, of course, there is also a “however”: thanks to another ruling in a completely separate case, and the fact that she is not a white man shooting unarmed children, Alexander will now face triple the prison time — 60 years, not 20 — if she’s convicted. Let us unravel the whole sordid mess; we encourage you to drink and/or to remove any breakables from the immediate area. Read more on Florida Woman In ‘Stand Your Ground’ Retrial Faces Late-Term Abortion Of Justice, Also 60 Years…

We’re back in the Wonkette Bunker O’Love, the underground safe room on our Idaho compound that we reserve for stories about guns and the wonderful people who fondle them. And as usual, we have some inspiring tales of proud Americans protecting their lives and property from threats foreign and domestic — mostly domestic, as all three of our top stories involve responsible gun owners shooting family members and neighbors, which is just the price we have to pay for Liberty.
That pic up top, incidentally, is from a charming Buzzfeed collection of people who got guns for Christmas and shared photos of their prizes on social media. We don’t really begrudge Dad his rifle up there — looks like an actual hunter, at least. But there are also a whole passel of teen boys who got AR-15s for Christmas — as we know, they’re traditionally the most stable, responsible part of the population, famous for their excellent decision-making. They should definitely be armed. Say, wasn’t there a song about a girl who got a rifle for Christmas? Read more on Responsible Gun Owners Have A Banner Week (Updated)…

Here’s one to file under “Justice Delayed, but not nearly as long as we’d have guessed”: Marissa Alexander, the Florida woman who was sentenced to 20 years in prison after firing a warning shot into a wall to scare aware her (allegedly) abusive husband, will get a new trial. Alexander’s sentence got national attention because it seemed a weird contrast to George Zimmerman’s acquittal after killing Trayvon Martin — if you shoot somebody and claim self defense, that’s cool with Florida courts, but if you shoot a wall to scare an abusive spouse away, you get 20 years? Read more on Florida Woman Who Got 20 Years For Shooting Wall Gets New Trial…

Apparently basing their strategy on the old line about how God created man and Samuel Colt made them equal, George Zimmerman’s lawyers are arguing that Trayvon Martin was some kind of black superman who had to be shot because Zimmerman was a blobby tub of goo who couldn’t take the teen in a fair fight. No really, that is what they are saying! Prosecution Defense* witness Dennis Root, a “former law enforcement officer who testified as an expert on defensive use of force,” said so in court and everything, according to Fox News:
“Mr. Martin was a physically active and capable person,” said Root, who probed both Martin’s and Zimmerman’s physical conditioning and fighting prowess on behalf of the defense team. “Mr. Zimmerman is an individual who is by no stretch of the imagination an athlete, and … he would find himself lacking when compared to Mr. Martin.”
It is not known whether the wimp defense will win over the jury, but it is almost certain to reinforce Fox News viewers’ already-deep sense of identification with Mr. Zimmerman. Read more on Zimmerman Defense Team: Our Guy Is A Pudgy Loser So He Had To Shoot That Super-Fit Black Kid…

In the ritualized aftermath of a high-profile shooting, there are certain things that absolutely must happen. Obviously, it is very important to explain how the victim’s poor choices led to the tragedy, so that We At Home can feel marginally safer and reassured, because we would never make those bad choices. And, of course, there’s the inevitable fairy tale spun by the National Rifle Association: If only the victim had been armed, she wouldn’t have been a victim. So when NFL linebacker Jovan Belcher shot and killed his girlfriend, Kasandra Perkins, last week, the only surprise was that it actually took NRA president Wayne LaPierre several days to come out with his carefully thought-out analysis:
“The one thing missing in that equation is that woman owning a gun so she could have saved her life from that murderer,” LaPierre told USA TODAY Sports on Thursday […]
“Owning guns is a mainstream part of American culture and it’s growing every day. My God, there’s nothing more mainstream in this country than 100 million Americans who own firearms.”
Golly, if only Kassandra Perkins had known the security of firearms ownership! She might still be alive!
There’s only one small problem with that notion. Perkins and Belcher were both avid shooters, and the couple owned as many as eight guns. Read more on NRA: Despite Living In House Full Of Guns, More Guns Could Have Saved Kasandra Perkins…