Post your trip reports, travel experiences, and updates abroad. Or your expat story if you already live overseas. Note: To post photos and images, insert the image URL between the tags [img]and[/img] after uploading them to a third party site.

Hi all,
I'm headed back to China this weekend! I'm going to spend time with my girlfriend Lisa in Dongguan and probably travel with her for a while. I'm tired of being bored and lonely in Taiwan and I don't want to waste another summer again that way. So I don't care if I can't finish my to do list here, I'm just gonna take off back to China and waste no more time in regret.

Lisa and I have had our issues the past few months, but we've remained close, attached and connected. I have a chemistry with her that I don't think I've ever had before, and it's very mutual. We have a passion for each other and we seem compatible in many ways. And we share a lot of synchronicities and parallel lives too. The amazing thing is that she knows my whole life story and understands me very well, yet still accepts all that I am and likes/loves me for me. So that's the sign of a gem and keeper for sure. Not many girls or women would accept who I am and what I am, unless she's like a "twin soul" or "soulmate" type. Plus her family is not poor, but well off, so she doesn't need money and she isn't interested in moving to America either. So I know for sure she has no ulterior motives, and that this is a genuine relationship, the kind I've been seeking a long time.

The interesting thing is that if I had gone to China a few years earlier as planned, I wouldn't have met her. And if my plans to visit Guangzhou back in April hadn't been blocked by mysterious circumstances when I arrived there, my whole time table probably would have been different, and I may have never met her. So perhaps everything happens for a reason. And then the fact that zboy works in Dongguan brought me there as well. So a lot of synchronicities seem to tie together. Funny how that works. Perhaps there is a higher order of things that we can't fathom.

Anyhow, wish me well for my next trip. I will be busy preparing for it, so I won't be on this forum much. Hope you all are having fun, preferably abroad of course.

By the way, here are two interesting things I learned from my Chinese girlfriend and from observing mainland Chinese in general, that are very noteworthy.

1. Mainland Chinese are usually NOT two faced like Taiwanese and Americans are. They show you the same face to your face that they do behind your back. They don't act fake or show you a facade mask, and prefer to be brutally honest even if it's rude. They may be often rude or abrupt when they show you their real face, but at least it's honest and authentic, something which is lacking in America, Taiwan and other highly developed Asian countries such as Singapore and Japan.

In contrast, Taiwanese and Americans are notorious for being two faced because they tend to show a fake polite face to you, but condemn you and dislike you behind your back, like backbiters. Being highly judgmental and easily offended, they have habitually find reasons to dislike you and condemn you. If you don't follow all their vain little rules and are not a narrow minded conformist like they are, they see you as abnormal and freakish and ostracize you. Around them, you always get the feeling that "there's something wrong with you" if you aren't like them. Thus, Taiwan and America are not cultures where you are free to be yourself, but are in fact highly repressed.

Therefore, despite them claiming to offer you political freedoms, you do not have social freedoms in such countries as Taiwan and America. You see, if you can't even be yourself, then how can you be free? There's something amiss with that. Telling you that you have political freedom while also telling you that you have to conform to lots of petty little social rules too, is hypocritical and a deceptive sleight-of-hand. Basically, you can say you are free, but you cannot act freely. It's a form of social mind control. They want you to falsely perceive that you are free, so you don't revolt against the system, even though you are not actually free.

On the other hand, mainland Chinese are more natural and relaxed in comparison. They have an authenticity that is refreshing if you come from America or Taiwan, and thus are easier to connect with socially. My close friends (such as Ethan_sg) have observed this as well. Simply put, the social vibe in China is more smooth, natural and genuine compared to faker cultures like the USA and the super repressed, reserved Taiwan and Japan. Countries like Japan and Taiwan are known to be very polite but socially cold, distant, repressed, reserved, and very lonely with no feeling of social connection with others. Similarly, America is a very fake culture full of BS, delusion, exaggerated hype and toxic people with no real social connection as well. That's why authentic freethinkers with deep souls do not usually fit into America or Taiwan. Nor do lonely people who need genuine social connection.

2. In Asia, a couple is supposed to be needy and clingy with each other. My girlfriend calls it "being sticky". It's not only normal, but expected as well. It's seen as a POSITIVE sign of dedication and faithfulness, and is expected if you are serious about your significant other. But as we all know, if you are needy and clingy in America, you will be CONDEMNED for violating the American "law of independence" which states that you are not allowed to need other people or even need love from others, instead you are supposed to be INDEPENDENT and happy without others. American culture and pop psychology, as well as New Age teachings, teach that a normal healthy relationship is one in which two independent people who don't need others come together to share mutual interests and passions. (Yeah right, what baloney) In the US, a needy or clingy person is treated like they have a personality defect that needs to be fixed, and looked down upon in a very negative light as well.

But needing others and depending on others is a natural human trait, which collectivist Asian cultures see as natural and normal. After all, humans are not meant to be solitary. They naturally depend on each other in groups and tribes, which is what all primitive tribes do instinctively and have done so for thousands of years. Humans aren't meant to be alone, it's not in their nature, so being lonely is a natural thing, not some defect as America claims. If I'm right, then America is very bad for trying to suppress human nature and falsely teaching that "not needing others" is the way people are supposed to be and that there is something wrong with you if you need others.

So if you are needy and clingy when it comes to receiving love and attention from a romantic partner, you will not be able to be yourself in America. In this area, America will not allow you the social freedom to "be yourself". Yet that's the most important kind of freedom there is, because if you can't be who you are, then you can't be free, regardless of any political freedoms that are officially offered.

Instead, you are better off in Asia where being needy and clingy is more normal and expected, because it's considered an indicator of serious dedication and love, and thus a good thing not a bad thing. So you will feel more validated in Asia, as long as you find a stable partner who loves you that is. What this means is that in Asia, you will be able to be yourself in love than in America. In short, you are allowed to "need" your partner and do not have to suppress it like you do in America oe pretend to be independent just to avoid being condemned. Thus, it's actually freer abroad than in the alleged "land of the free".

1. Mainland Chinese are usually NOT two faced like Taiwanese and Americans are. They show you the same face to your face that they do behind your back. They don't act fake or show you a facade mask, and prefer to be brutally honest even if it's rude.

Total bullshit. Every single foreigner who has lived here will agree that Chinese are the most two faced (not to mention three or four faced) people who have ever existed. Their culture invented the very concept of "face".

1. Mainland Chinese are usually NOT two faced like Taiwanese and Americans are. They show you the same face to your face that they do behind your back. They don't act fake or show you a facade mask, and prefer to be brutally honest even if it's rude.

Total bullshit. Every single foreigner who has lived here will agree that Chinese are the most two faced (not to mention three or four faced) people who have ever existed. Their culture invented the very concept of "face".

That only applies to upper class Chinese, or Chinese who live in island nations like Taiwan or Singapore. Or to Chinese who have a reason to cheat to you or deceive you for gain. But I'm talking about interactions with everyday ordinary people. Such normal everyday interactions are not fake or two faced, but more genuine than in Taiwan or America. Ask Ethan_sg about this. He lives and works in China and can talk at length about this and has lots of examples, even in a commercialized city such as Shenzhen where he is.

Also, the girls I dated and met were not two faced, at least not most of them. They were very direct and upfront. I am speaking in general here.

Hi all,
Ive been in China all week with my girlfriend. We spent a few days in shenzhen and then headed over to xiamen. Next we head north to xi'an.

Its been wonderful being with her again. We have great physical and mental chemistry. And a good connection too. You cant ask for more than that. And our time together is romantic and surreal. Im not used to being part of a real couple. It makes me so complete which i havent experienced in years. Wow. Its like another level of existence, as if ive been finally taken out of the purgatory of loneliness and sexless nights alone, and all the unjust suffering that came with it.

My chinese girlfriend here is smart and helps me with a lot of things and she has her own money too. She treats me to meals and buys me clothes. She is shrewd and helps me save money too.

Its awesome finally having a normal relationship with a compatible girl. Its miles above what i got in the Philippines. No support required. Only mutual love and sharing.

In contrast, in the Philippines I got low quality girls with no education who never wanted to share any cost and never bought me anything or treated me to anything. Not even a hamburger or ice cream cone. Imagine that. Its ridiculous when 99 percent of the girls you date in the Philippines cant (or wont) even treat you to an ice cream cone or burger. The inequity of that is simply way too extreme. Better to date someone closer to your level so it makes you feel more complete, like you have a real relationship, not a sugar daddy or santa claus type of relationship, which has never made me feel complete. Thats how i feel.

Simply put, chinese girls are more compatible with me in terms of education, intelligence, sensibility, race, genetics, refinement, looks and beauty. When you date someone of your race, there is a genetic frequency, closeness and connection you dont get with other races.

Winston wrote:Simply put, chinese girls are more compatible with me in terms of education, intelligence, sensibility, race, genetics, refinement, looks and beauty. When you date someone of your race, there is a genetic frequency, closeness and connection you dont get with other races.

It is not so much about race, but behavioral alignment and common values. There is a reason I never made it to Phils...even my Thai GFs bought me things

1. Mainland Chinese are usually NOT two faced like Taiwanese and Americans are. They show you the same face to your face that they do behind your back. They don't act fake or show you a facade mask, and prefer to be brutally honest even if it's rude.

Total bullshit. Every single foreigner who has lived here will agree that Chinese are the most two faced (not to mention three or four faced) people who have ever existed. Their culture invented the very concept of "face".

That only applies to upper class Chinese, or Chinese who live in island nations like Taiwan or Singapore. Or to Chinese who have a reason to cheat to you or deceive you for gain. But I'm talking about interactions with everyday ordinary people. Such normal everyday interactions are not fake or two faced, but more genuine than in Taiwan or America. Ask Ethan_sg about this. He lives and works in China and can talk at length about this and has lots of examples, even in a commercialized city such as Shenzhen where he is.

Also, the girls I dated and met were not two faced, at least not most of them. They were very direct and upfront. I am speaking in general here.

Winston wrote:Hi all,
Ive been in China all week with my girlfriend. We spent a few days in shenzhen and then headed over to xiamen. Next we head north to xi'an.

Its been wonderful being with her again. We have great physical and mental chemistry. And a good connection too. You cant ask for more than that. And our time together is romantic and surreal. Im not used to being part of a real couple. It makes me so complete which i havent experienced in years. Wow. Its like another level of existence, as if ive been finally taken out of the purgatory of loneliness and sexless nights alone, and all the unjust suffering that came with it.

My chinese girlfriend here is smart and helps me with a lot of things and she has her own money too. She treats me to meals and buys me clothes. She is shrewd and helps me save money too.

Its awesome finally having a normal relationship with a compatible girl. Its miles above what i got in the Philippines. No support required. Only mutual love and sharing.

In contrast, in the Philippines I got low quality girls with no education who never wanted to share any cost and never bought me anything or treated me to anything. Not even a hamburger or ice cream cone. Imagine that. Its ridiculous when 99 percent of the girls you date in the Philippines cant (or wont) even treat you to an ice cream cone or burger. The inequity of that is simply way too extreme. Better to date someone closer to your level so it makes you feel more complete, like you have a real relationship, not a sugar daddy or santa claus type of relationship, which has never made me feel complete. Thats how i feel.

Simply put, chinese girls are more compatible with me in terms of education, intelligence, sensibility, race, genetics, refinement, looks and beauty. When you date someone of your race, there is a genetic frequency, closeness and connection you dont get with other races.

You sound perfect together. I wish you all the best. Hopefully you'll get married and invite me to the wedding. I need an excuse to come to China. I'm sure she has nice friends too.

Hi all,
After a long and grueling 39 hour train ride, we are in Xi'an. Its in the middle of china and is where the famous terracota warriors from the qin emperor lie. He was the emperor that built the great wall of china and unified china.

This city is a lot more historic looking and more like the china i expected, more like the real china.

I lived and worked in China for a year. Fascinating experience. I highly recommend it to anyone.

Re: Chinese women and money
I met with Chinese one on one as part of my job teaching and training. They were very honest with the door closed and no other Chinese around. Approx 80% of Chinese women told me they simply married the man with the most money. "Anything else is impractical for Chinese women."

Many of them told me that either their mother or a friend's had told her, "It is very important that you find a man who loves you. But you don't have to love him. If later you want a relationship with a man you love, have an affair." Right out of Hallmark, huh?

Almost all the women are married by 25 and have a kid but since they don't usually marry for love there are a lot of affairs. Many of the teachers who were over 40 were having an affair with a twenty-something married woman or hooking up online for quick sex via WeChat.

I'm an old fart around 60 and China would not work for me regarding serious relationships both due to the lack of romance/obsession with money and few women are attractive over early 30's. Few are hot much beyond mid-20's where I lived, in a second tier city of around 7 million (a village by Chinese standards).

Good option for finding women: Leftover women

If a women is 27 and not married the Chinese consider her a "leftover woman". Affluent men will not marry her because they will lose face for marrying someone so old. So, if you can't land one younger that age is probably more open. They also tend to be more educated and independent.

Re: someone's question about working there when over 55.

Very hard to get VISAs in tier one cities like Shanghai after 55 unless lucky. Chinese consider 50 elderly. Many tier 2 cities that are too boring for young people will still hire older workers even into mid-60's.