Help! My Friend Likes Circumcised Penises

…and much to my chagrin, I found out today that she even thanked her boyfriend’s parents for having him cut! I thought I was going to be sick! I had not seen my friend Ivana for a few years, and tonight, we went out for a few libations. Of course, I started talking to her about circumcision. She started to say, “oh yes! Circumcise them all!” Mortified, I asked, why not wait until they are old enough to decide for themselves? “Well, because they won’t want to have it done then!” BINGO.

Frankly, I was surprised at Ivana’s stance, because she is European. And Europeans do not circumcise. But having been in North America for so long, she has gotten used to being with cut men. For whatever reasons, she told me she “prefers” circumcised penises, and even THANKED her boyfriend’s parents for having had him circumcised! I was shocked. I knew I had a lot of work to do to educate her.

I pulled out the card comparing intact vs circumcised adult penises from Saving our Sons. Right away she said, “Yes! Look at that perfection! (in referring to the circumcised, keratinized penis). The intact penis, apparently, was photo-shopped and done by computer. No natural penis really looked like that, according to my friend. (Thank God she only has daughters!)

This is the info card I showed to Ivana.

Apparently, she had some experiences with smelly intact guys. I told her that it is all a question of hygiene: soap and water. All the guy needs to do is wash himself, and there is no abnormal smell from a penis, unless he happens to have a yeast or bacterial infection, of course. I guess the intact men she had been with must have had poor hygiene in general. because she IMMEDIATELY agreed that it was, after all, just a question of proper hygiene. Phew! I knew i could talk some sense into her….

I explained to her how the male foreskin have over 20,000 nerve endings, in comparison with her clitoris, which has only 8,000. I explained to her that the man then has, logically, reduced sensation during sex.

She had no idea about this horrible torture device called the circumstraint which is used to forcibly restrain infant boys while they have the most sensitive part of their penis amputated, for not medical reason, to appease parents or “tradition”, with little or no pain relief. Oh, and that was another big one. She was totally clueless that no, the mutilation was most definitely NOT done under general anesthesia, but under local anesthesia, if any anesthesia. And that even if local anesthesia were administered, it would not dull the ventral nerve. So, in the “best” scenario, it will only be “partial anesthesia”.

I took the liberty of finding a photo of a circumstraint board for her to see. She was appalled, and asking what those straps were. I explained everything. And then I did even better. I showed her an actual video of a circumcision on my smartphone. This is the video I showed her: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xjkd30_infant-circumcision-injection-and-procedure_news. She could not stop watching, listening, in the noisy bar putting the phone to MY EAR so *I* could listen to the screams. That was it. I knew I had a new convert!

When I paid my tab, I carded the barmaid. We left to go to the wash rooms, and II I carded there too. Then, we went and bought a nice Monte Cristo, smoked it, and went to see some old acquaintances of ours who own a marvellous high-end restaurant. Ivana did not even bat an eye as I brought the topic up with one of the co-owners, Alain, who was working as the chef in the kitchen. He admitted that he was circumcised. He only has daughters, but his grandson is intact. “Back then”, he said, “It was done routinely. Nobody asked about it, so I was circumcised. But nowadays, you have to pay for it out of pocket, so nobody is doing it any more!” (Thank God, I thought.)

Alain also confessed that his Turkish partner is in the midst of a dirty custody battle. Apparently, his partner married a Turkish beauty young enough to be his daughter, and during divorce proceedings, she is supposedly taking everything that she can get from him. However, the son is now nine years old, and the mother has protected him from the father, who is going absolutely berserk at wanting to have him circumcised! Turks, as you probably know, are mostly Muslim, and there, it is a “tradition”. I do not know what exactly happened between them but all I can say is kudos to his young ex-wife for not mutilating her son, and for protecting him! Hopefully, if this is ever brought up in court, the courts will side with the mother.

Unfortunately, I did not get a chance to talk to the Turkish guy. Maybe some other time. But he should take comfort in the fact that Allah made everyone perfect. Circumcision is most definitely NOT a part of the Qu’ran and it is NOT a requirement in Islam. The Prophet Mohammed was NOT circumcised. He was actually born with a birth defect called aposthia, and was missing foreskin from his penis.

I felt pretty damn good that within a few minutes, Ivana totally came on-board with me AND put up with me intactivating the whole night, even supporting some of what I was telling people.