Rihanna Tells Diane Sawyer: I'm 'Embarrassed' I Loved Chris Brown

In the first portion of her ABC interview, Rihanna tells Diane Sawyer that she went back to Chris Brown "eight or nine" times following domestic violence incidents, and that she was blinded by love and made the wrong choices. "Don't react off of love. F love," Rihanna emotionally pleads to young girls who may be in her situation. Rihanna also says it was "embarrassing that's the type of person that I fell in love with," referring to Brown. Watch the Emotional Video After the Jump

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

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NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna enters the John F. Kennedy International Airport on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 03: Singer Rihanna leaves her Gramercy Park hotel on November 03, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Ray Tamarra/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Rihanna

Getty Images

During the portion of the interview, Rihanna says that she had troubles coming out with her side of the story because "there are a lot of women who experienced what I did, but not in public. It made it really difficult. Here it goes, my little bit of privacy was exposed. It's something nobody wants anybody to know. So here I am."

She says she was "embarrassed" by the situation because she "didn't want people to think that's the kind of person... I fell in love with that person," a love "so unconditional that I went back," Rihanna said, adding that it's "humiliating to say this happened. To accept that? It's a traumatizing experience." When Sawyer said many women often go back to their abusive boyfriends several times, Rihanna chimes in with her own personal number: "Eight or nine, actually."

There had been reports of previous domestic violence instances between Brown and Rihanna via her police report from that February night, but this is the first time she's acknowledged such a high number.

"I stayed. I even went back after he beat me, which was wrong ... I'm a human being and people put me on a very unrealistic pedestal," Rihanna tells Sawyer. "I'm not perfect. It's pretty natural for that to be the first reaction. It's completely normal to go back and start lying to yourself. The minute the physical wounds go away, you want this thing to go away. This is a memory you don't want to have again."

So what made Rihanna finally see that going back to Brown wasn't the answer? The fact that she has such an influence on the public thanks to her fame.

"When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result into some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part. I couldn't be responsible ... If Chris never hit me again, who's to say that their boyfriend won't ... kill these girls? These are young girls. I just didn't realize how much of an impact I had on these girls until that happened. It was a wake-up call for me, big time, especially when I took myself out of the situation," Rihanna says emotionally.

She also offers advice to "any girl who is going through domestic violence: Don't react off of love. F love. To come out of the situation and look at it third-person and for what it really is, you then make your decision. Because love is so blinding."

Brown is currently serving five years probation after pleading guilty to felony assault charges stemming from the February 8 attack on Rihanna.

The full Rihanna interview will air on ABC's '20/20' on Friday night. Brown will also be doing an interview of his own, which will air on MTV on Thursday night.

Word is they used to fight. She would fight him, he would fight her. I know this for a fact. Two wrongs do not make a right. It's never right for a man to hit a woman, but a woman should never encourage the hitting. Ask yourself, why did she go back eight or nine times. There's more to this story. His side.

When it(the abuse)happens once with the offender, it will continue. Rihanna, DON'T EVER go back to that punk, Chris Brown. Need I say anymore, folks??Bubba in jail(or prison)who loves his own wife,and doesn't put up with this kind of crap, will kick Chris Brown's ass when he's in prison. I would love to hear of Chris Brown getting his ass kicked while in prison, if he ever ends up there. Need I say any more??

I am really taken aback about her timing of this 'sharing interview'. I hate the way these people play the media. Why now after all this time? BECAUSE SHE HAS A ALBUM COMING OUT FOLKS!! WHO KNOWS IF WHAT SHE IS SAYING IS THE TRUTH OR NOT. Other than the incident that was made public, I am not sure I trust this woman, nor do I believe she has any real interest to do anything really good for her 'young fans'.

I too was in a domestic violent relationship & I too went back several times..you always want to believe it won't happen agin..but it did..& did..it's been 10 years & my live was so messed up over that that i'm still trying to get right..I had lost everything especially myself...it's no joke..if it happpens once IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN...I was a stay at home mom..no financial help...so after all these years i'm slowly getting there...I applaud you Reannea..F love...run for your life!!!

Ok, enough already about Rihanna. It seems every other week something about this person is popping up in the news. What is the obsession with this particular case. I hate to say it, but there are plenty of less famous women getting beaten, raped, and murdered that haven't gotten the amount of press this woman has gotten. In all, I think she's just using this for publicity, since her career hasn't done anything worth while for a long time. For all of you in the press, move on to something else, getting kind of sick of seeing the same old song and dance with this. Embarrassed, what next?

This is for "Allana",Baby girl, you're the one that can't read! The second sentence states that "she went back to CB 8 or 9 times following domestic violence incidents....!After the first put down, the first verbal abuse a girl or a grown woman should be out of there. I will never understand it. I'm too afraid of pain, and maybe too vain to have my face punched up or arms bruise. And no-one will ever shake my self confidence. Come on women, girl power, here. It's easier and better to be alone and happy/content than to be with someone that needs to kick your ass to feel validated. No-one wants to say it in layman's terms but Chris Brown did not just have a violent episode, he kicked Rhianna's ass. Am I right or am I right?

i totally agree if u hit a man enough times and say enough nasty things the testosterone and adreniline will being pumping. especially if they are trapped in a moving vehicle with a angry women who is beggining to prolly hit them and push them around.

now i am a women who has been beat and went back to the guy several times and i dont think it was all chris browns fault.

now yea chris brown went WAY to far, far enough that she should not get back with him EVER. but i feel like she is not telling the whole story and really ruining his life.

there are personal accounts from people close to chris brown and rihanna that has seen them interacting in mutual physical fights.

and im sorry but rihanna is a very muscular women and chris brown does looks like he would more than likely tear up if she clocked him one good one in the jaw. the man dances pretty as MJ and appears to have been raised by women.

RIHANNA tell the whole truth, yea he shouldnt have beat you and I LOVE YOUR MUSIC but you know your a the #1 Queen B.I.T.C.H. and you may have egged that poor boy on. we know you had him whipped.

I feel that Chris was wrong for hitting her; but she was also wrong if she provoked him to hit her by hitting him first. My daughter is a big fan of Chris Brown. I have to educate her and let her know that its not right for a man to beat on women no matter how upset he may be.

I wonder if abuse is farmilar to Rihanna? Did she grow up with it in her home? Maybe for her it is normal? Seems to me, we pick partners that are so farmilar to us. It may not be positive, but it is awful farmilar. It is not about the way they look to us, it is the way they make us feel. A buddy got out of a treatment center and told me, if you have eaten crap all your life and someone feeds you steak, it tastes funny.I hope it works out for Rihanna, everyone deserves their happyness.

To everyone who's on the outside looking in on domestic violence, please do your research. There are just as many men getting beat by there girlfriends or partners as there are women. And as a person who's seen it happen to 3 people very very close to me, one for 20 years. I know what it like. I have to say that it happened to me once because I don't play that battered woman crap I will fight back. Everyone have their opinion about it because some of you never went through it. Nobody knows what happened between those two that night and it will always be he said she said. I've always learned don't put your hands on me and I won't put my hands on you. Whose to say that they weren't violent towards each other. God bless her and him bloth of them are skared for life with this. There is a difference in being violent and defending yourself so what was it?

For people who made the comments about "Did Rihanna hit Chris", and the comments about "If you don't want to be hit then don't hit"...

Well I would like to say something to you. There's something called Domestic Abuse. Meaning physical abusive actions being compelled at one or more persons. Clearly from what I saw of the damage, that was a little more then just a small physical fight of this person hit me so i hit them. She looked like she had been beaten the crap out of. So that woman who said "I have a daughter & 4 sons. If you don't want to be hit, then don't hit....."....what makes you think she hit Chris? Did you see her face? Did Chris have any scars or bruise?...NO!!!!! So don't compare this to your kids, its not the same thing. Also, even to assume that Rihanna hit Chris is stupid, she doesn't even seem like that kind of person and again I ask you, did you see Chris having to go to the hospital?..NO! So think about that before you start saying stupid things, and comparing Rihanna's brutally damaged face to your kids hitting each other.