A Government Shutdown is Looming — Will That Prevent You From Getting Drunk Tonight?

Woah! Republicans and Democrats are currently engaged in a Mexican standoff (note from the Trump Administration: “The term ‘Mexican standoff’ is currently being debated in the Supreme Court to be changed to ‘U.S. legal citizen standoff'”) in Washington, and there’s only one question that we’re all thinking this Friday afternoon: would a government shutdown prevent you from getting absoultely smashed tonight?

Well, it looks like the Senate might force a government shutdown at midnight on Friday. What're you doing around then?

Me? Well, I should probably get in there and vote for it around that time. To be honest, Mitch is being a pain in my fucking ass, and I thought this quiz would be a good escape from the action.

Shutdown? More like open up, bars! Getting there as soon as they open, ordering a bunch of drinks, and staying there way past midnight, I'll tell you that!

Correct!

Wrong!

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The Democrats have leverage in the situation and could force Republicans and President Trump to offer concessions in order to prevent a shutdown. What's your take?

Holy shit, if the government shuts down, does that mean all the lights go out at midnight? Dude, this will be better than New Year's Eve!

God fucking dammit man, I just wanted a fucking break from all of this shutdown talk and visited TheBlackSheepOnline.com because an intern bookmarked it on my computer. Where's the section where you guys talk about college girls and drinking?

Correct!

Wrong!

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Are you letting your aide go home at the regular time today or are you keeping them past midnight?

Daniel is staying right by side until we get this shutdown mess cleaned up. He doesn't get paid hourly to sit on his ass!

Aide? I really have no idea what you mean. The only "aid" I'm gonna need tonight is someone to carry me home from the bars because I'm getting drunk!

Correct!

Wrong!

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Some Republicans are calling the potential shutdown the "Schumer Shutdown," referring to top Democrat in the Senate, Chuck Schumer. Do you think that's fair?

Fair? Fair?! I'll tell you about fair — all of my old college friends are probably at home with their wives watching Dateline and I have to work. Goddamit.

Isn't that Amy Schumer's uncle? Holy shit, she's hilarious! That one about her, you know, hooking up with that guy — so good!

Correct!

Wrong!

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Is Paul Ryan a spinless little bitch?

Yes.

Yes, but Paul and I have a friendship that dates back into our days as interns on the Hill.

Correct!

Wrong!

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When all is said and done, at 12:01 a.m. on Saturday, the government will either continue to operate or shut down. Where will you be?