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October 23rd, 1999.
HE THINKS HE'S UGLY. HE KNOWS HE'S RICH. AND HE'LL HAPPILLY TAKE A PISS IN YOUR PRESENCE. ON THE COUCH, DEX!
MM- WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO GO INTO A SLAUGHTERHOUSE AND KILL A COW?

Dex- I'm not a vegetarian and I don't have a problem eating animals, but I don't think I could do the killing. I like animals. We have four dogs and three cats, so you get used to having animals around. I've never been hunting. I've shot soda cans and stuff like that with real guns - you can see how easy it is here to get them. It was my uncle who took me, actually, he used to go hunting, but he was such a poor shot, he could never shot anything. He was trying to shoot at this rabbit once and he finally actually got it, but he felt so terrible that he could never shoot anything again. I think that's probably how I would feel.

MM- IF THERE WAS A PUBLIC EXECUTION ON TV, WOULD YOU WATCH IT?

Dex- Yes. For some reason I watch 'Jerry Springer', the morbid curiosity. It's terrible. But I admit that I have that weakness in human nature that we're drown to stuff that's going to gross us out. I bought this video called 'Banned From Television' and some of it is just awful. People getting hit by cars and an elephant on stampede and they show those bull runs in Pamplona. This lady was protesting and this bull just tore her to pieces. The worse bit was at the end. This lady was running across the train track and she didn't look the right way and got hit by a train. Ugggh. I'll send it to you.

MM- DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF RICH?

Dex- Well, it's a relative word. I'm rich in friends. OK, yeah, I am. Noodles was a janitor in the past. He's definitely increased his bank balance. But we all had to make sacrifices. He had a bright future in the custodial arts. I actually want us to get jobs. Maybe it's part of me that wants to stay grounded in a crazy life style. That would be a good way to do it. Remember the guy from 'TAXI' who played Latka? He kept a bus boy job the entire time. He just liked that side of it.

MM-DO YOU HAVE ANY AMBITIONS?

Dex- I want to start smoking pot. So then I won't have any ambitions.

MM- DO YOU WORRY ABOUT GROWING OLD?

Dex- A couple of years ago, I was thinking, 'you're 30 now, you're 10 years older that most of your audience', and we went to do some festivals in Europe and it's amazing. You get back up there, first song, bam, you're 18 again! I don't think you ever get too old for that mindset. I guess there is stuff you can't talk about. Like go onstage and say, 'What did you guys do with you taxes this year? Have you heard about this great new vehicle.'

MM-HOW DO YOU PICTURE YOUR FUNERAL AND WHAT SONGS DO YOU WANT PLAYED?

Dex- I think I want to be buried. I don't want to be cremated, burned. Even though everyone says it's gross to be buried because you get worms crawling in you and stuff, somehow I don't like the idea of being ashes. I want to be substance so they can dig me up in 200 years to determine if I had some disease or something. I want to make sure a lot of people cry and feel really bad at my funeral. A lot of people say they want it to be a celebration. Fuck that. I want everyone there, I want to know they cared, I want them to cry.

MM- WOULD YOU ACCEPT A MILLION DOLLARS TO LEAVE YOUR HOME COUNTRY FOREVER?

Dex- No. There's something about the place you grow up or the country you live in. That's one of the great things about being in a free country.

MM- CAN YOU URINATE IN FRONT OF ANOTHER PERSON?

Dex - No! I've got that problem. Stage fright. Isn't that terrible? It depends. You know, when you're drinking, you have to go most of all. It usually doesn't hit me until the third beer and then I have to go every 15 minutes. But by the fifth beer I can go, and by the time you get to the seventh beer I can go in the middle of the room. I don't care anymore.

MM- WHAT ARE YOUR MOST COMPULSIVE HABITS?

Dex- My vices are probably my most compulsive habits. Caffeine, nicotine and alcohol. I'm not really into drugs or anything, but I like a good beer and a good smoke and watching a band at a club. I can be pretty compulsive about that. I don't smoke that much, so when I smoke it tends to be a chain event. All or nothing!

MM-RELATIVE TO THE POPULATION, HOW DO YOU RATE YOUR PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS, YOUR INTELLIGENCE, YOUR PRESONALITY?

Dex- Wow! I feel like I'm on a job interview. Well with attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 I put myself at a 2. I don't think of myself in that way. People that are hung up on those kinds of things are pretty shallow generally. Intelligence? Maybe a 6. Personality? Of course a 10!

Yahoomc: alright everybody -- here he is -- welcome dexter from the offspring!
Y_dexter_offspring: Hey everybody, what'
Y_dexter_offspring: s up?
Y_dexter_offspring: You can see what a good typist I am

Duke_Nukem_the_King_of_Carnage asks: Dexter, are there any other soundtracks you're doing music for?
Y_dexter_offspring: Well, I guess you know about Idle Hands. We're talking to our friends the Lunachicks. They've asked us to donate an old song to a movie they're on. I can't remember the name of it yet, but a soundtrack will come out on GoKart records. I think there's gonna be a lot of cool bands like NOFX, etc.

the_psycho_beaver asks: Is there a story behind "Why Don't You Get a Job?"
Y_dexter_offspring: Yeah, well, like, there was this person, and, like, he needed a job. So we wrote, why don't you get a job.

mountain_dew_thug_4_life asks: DO YOU LIKE MOUNTAIN DEW
Y_dexter_offspring: Anything with a lot of caffeine.

blue_914 asks: what inspired u to make "pretty fly 4 a white guy"?
Y_dexter_offspring: Computer geeks like you

punk_princess33 asks: If you could perform with another group besides your wicked opening groups who would it be
Y_dexter_offspring: We've played with a lot of cool bands already, like Blink 182, Rancid, Vandals, I don't know, a lot. I'd like to play with Tool sometime. One of the coolest shows we played was In England a couple years ago. We got to play with Rage Against the Machine and Prodigy.

microland17 asks: When did Noodles get his nosering? I'd never noticed it before
Y_dexter_offspring: I think it's just a booger.

KrissyLostTheWar asks: Settle a dispute for me, was the original name of the band "Manic Subsidals" or "Maniac Suicidals"?
Y_dexter_offspring: It was Manic Subsidal. We changed because no one knew what the hell we were talking about. p.s. I like that name, Krissy.

punkgirl_182_ asks: what pisses you off??
Y_dexter_offspring: Balloons. I hate balloons. And clowns.

Ashes_12_17 asks: Who came up with the name "The Offspring"?
Y_dexter_offspring: We were recording this cable TV show called Media Blitz and we decided to change our name then. We couldn't think of anything, and we final settled on the Offspring because it was the only name we didn't all hate. Our old drummer James actually made it up.

Xenia_onatop asks: is it true the offspring is guest starring in a movie?
Y_dexter_offspring: Yeah, we're gonna be in a cheesey horror flick called Idle Hands that comes out this month. It was fun because I get to get killed.

Kali_Devi asks: How do you feel about the immense amount of bootlegs?
Y_dexter_offspring: You know, actually I hate 'em, but not for the reason you might think. I don't care if people tape our records, or tape live shows or whatever. But what I don't like is that people who make the bootlegs always record them really poorly, and then they package it in this really stupid cover, and then they sell it for . And people think it's something that we endorse. So I hate them because I think it rips off kids.

jolly182 asks: do u like it when girls flash u at concerts?
Y_dexter_offspring: I've never seen that. I don't think that happens to bands.

jax15717 asks: what is your favorite song on your new album?
Y_dexter_offspring: I really like Staring at the Sun a lot, I'd say probably that one. I heard that we're up to 5,000 questions right now. I probably won't be able to answer all of those unless I type really really fast. So be patient.

Barnburner_616 asks: Hey Dexter my friends got a girlfriend and he hates the bitch what does he do?
Y_dexter_offspring: I think if you read that next couple lines of that song it'll tell you.

Dexie_Holland asks: Who came up with the guitar riff at the beginning of Genocide? It reminds me of the beginning of "Planet Earth" by Duran Duran.
Y_dexter_offspring: You know, it's time to come clean. Duran Duran were our only musical influence. Apparently, though, we couldn't fool you.

Wildcard6154 asks: Any advice for a 15 year old future punk rocker?
Y_dexter_offspring: 'Future' punk rocker??!! Why not start now?

mindpuzzler asks: So what makes a person of your status want to talk online to a bunch of computer geeks?
Y_dexter_offspring: You know what, I like talking to people. Whether it's online or whatever. I think that if you're in a band, you shouldn't hate people.

rokon1999 asks: Who's your favorite Spice Girl, or do you want to just kill them all?
Y_dexter_offspring: I like Ginger, because she's gone now.

Matt_99_dude asks: What do u think of groups like KORN, BSB, Limp bizkit, 98degrees, & NSYNC?
Y_dexter_offspring: I don't really think you can lump together Korn and Limp Bizkit with the others. I like Korn and Limp Bizkit.

PerplexyChick311 asks: don't you feel that "Pretty Fly" was offensive and stereotypical?
Y_dexter_offspring: Maybe you should ask yourself why you feel offended and stereotyped.

Matt_99_dude asks: Ok Dexter who in the group is the craziest?
Y_dexter_offspring: Greg K definitely.

Starr6669 asks: What kind of stuff would you like to do if you weren't in the Offspring?
Y_dexter_offspring: Well, Greg and I started a little record label called Nitro Records a few years ago. There's a lot of really cool bands on the label like Guttermouth, Vandals, AFI... wait, let me name the others now, there's Ensign, One Hit Wonder, Sloppy Seconds, Jughead's Revenge and 30 Foot Fall. So I spend time at home with the label.

Killboypwrhd asks: What's the bad habit in "Bad habit"?
Y_dexter_offspring: I used to have this car that would like, only go 40 on the freeway, and everyday I would get flipped off many times. I wanted revenge, so I wrote Bad Habit.

Dayzee00 asks: how do you feel about all the boy bands around these days?
Y_dexter_offspring: I heard that they put those groups together down in Florida, you have to like go down there and learn how to dance and shit. I don't like people who go down to Florida to learn to dance. You know what I like about the internet? You can say 'shit' anytime you want.

TheOffspring_4EVER asks: When you wrote Gone Away, did someone close to you actually die?
Y_dexter_offspring: That song is about something real, but it's pretty personal, so I don't talk about it.

offspring77769 asks: where do you get the ideas for your album covers?
Y_dexter_offspring: It really just kind of happens. The Ixnay cover was a woodcarving that one of my friends showed us. The Americana cover was a picture by Frank Kozik that we liked. It just depends. heh heh, I said depends.

VainComplexity asks: Don't you feel that idiots that don't try to understand your music shouldn't ask questions?
Y_dexter_offspring: Only people as cool as you should listen to us, is that right?

offspring_pointdexter asks: How do your feel about being called the band thats supposed to save punk
Y_dexter_offspring: I think we've also been called the band that ruined punk. You know, you can really just do what you do as a band and try not to worry about the labels.

NiRvanA_ThE_DOORS_JiMiHEnDriX asks: What do you think of the "Grunge Era", and did we benift at all from it?
Y_dexter_offspring: Absolutely. You gotta respect Nirvana because they're the ones that made music real again. They knocked Michael Jackson off the charts. And they opened the door for a lot of bands, including us. A lot of kids, after hearing Nirvana, would want to get into Smashing pumpkins, or Henry Rollins, or Pennywise, or even us

Wilbergris asks: Dexter, what bands did you like as a kid?
Y_dexter_offspring: Oh you know, the usual, Barry Manilow, Sheena easton, Olivia Newton John.

goldencaligirl45 asks: Are you guys having a concert in California soon?????????
Y_dexter_offspring: Well actually we're in San Jose right now, we're playing here tonight. This week is all California shows, we're gonna play Sacramento, LA, and San Diego.

oplax15 asks: would you ever go on Jerry Springer?
Y_dexter_offspring: Only if I get to fight the audience. Actually, we got asked to go on the Ricki Lake show and play. (we said no)

naughtybabe6969 asks: did u cry during Titanic
Y_dexter_offspring: Only when Kate Winslet lived.

crash_n_burn87 asks: hey dexter-how come you did a cover of feelings? just for the hell of it?
Y_dexter_offspring: Feelings is a song that needed to be destroyed. We didn't ask permission though, and the guy sued us.

sarco99 asks: Who does the killer artwork on the album cover ?
Y_dexter_offspring: All the artwork was done by Frank Kozik. He's got books and stuff, you should check it out.

Lver6969 asks: if you had to choose one member of the band to eat if you were stranded who would it be?
yahoomusic: and with what condiments?
Y_dexter_offspring: I guess Noodles has the most edible name.

jersy_devil_69 asks: DID YOU INVITE VANILLA ICE TO PERFORM WITH YOU, OR DID HE JUST TURN UP????
Y_dexter_offspring: That guy is stalking us.

Bilbo_Baggins_98 asks: Dexter, do you like Beavis and Butthead?
Y_dexter_offspring: I love Beavis and Butthead. I wish it was still on. Then I wouldn't have to watch the new gay shows they show at 2 a.m. on saturday night. Now I have to watch Showtime at the Apollo.

pizbe asks: what do you think about the return of Blondie?
Y_dexter_offspring: Blondie is rad. I'm glad they did another record.

carenj17 asks: Are you bringing Guy Cohen on tour with you?
Y_dexter_offspring: Well actually, Guy (the pretty fly guy in the video) is standing right here. Let him tell you.
Y_dexter_offspring: Guy: wassup homies. keep it real yo. word. stay black.
yahoomusic: right on guy
Y_dexter_offspring: all right. Hey, we've gotta go. We're gonna play in about an hour.
yahoomusic: thanks dexter!
Y_dexter_offspring: I want to tell you guys, though, thanks for checking out this chat tonight. We're stoked that you guys wanted to check it out. We're gonna try to play as many places as we can this year, so hopefully we'll see you in your town. Otherwise, you'll have to come to LA!!! Late.
yahoomusic: thanks for joining in everybody! Be sure to check out the "Beheaded" remix at promotions.yahoo.com/promotions/offspring/audio.html and also the official offspring website www.offspring.com

offspring_dexter_live: Hey guys. This is Dexter.
offspring_dexter_live: You know, I logged into our web site and visited our own Offspring chat room
offspring_dexter_live: This was a couple months ago. I logged in as the_real_dexter,
offspring_dexter_live: but no one believed that it was actually me. What do I have to do to convince
offspring_dexter_live: people that it's really me when I log in?

offspring_afi_girl asks: Dexter, in your opinion, what is the all time best punk band?
offspring_dexter_live: I'd have to say TSOL.
offspring_dexter_live: The old TSOL though, with Jack singing.

dex_rox_my_blacksox asks: Do you guys get noticed a lot in public places? And if you do, does it ever bother you?
offspring_dexter_live: I don't get noticed a lot since I started wearing a fake beard.
offspring_dexter_live: People sometimes think I"m in ZZ Top, though...

offspring_fan16 asks: Where did Noodles get his nickname from?
offspring_dexter_live: He only ate Top Ramen for like ten years.
offspring_dexter_live: Now he's moved up to Cup O' Noodles.

snowyte77 asks: You played a tiny hometown club a just a couple of weeks before Woodstock, what was the contrast between those two shows like and what is your favorite size venue to play?
offspring_dexter_live: Yeah, we played this little bar by our house a couple weeks ago, 2 days before Woodstock.
offspring_dexter_live: It's wild to play such a small show, then such a big show right after each other.
offspring_dexter_live: I'd have to say I like the smaller ones better, except the cops shut us down.

Izabel_Brazil asks: How did you feel being chosen to interview Joey Ramone?
offspring_dexter_live: Joey is awesome. I had a bitchen time interviewing him, he's like an idol to us.

Paradise409 asks: When will Noodles update his "Tour Journal" again?
offspring_dexter_live: Noodles writes entries for a tour journal on our web site. He updates it every couple weeks or so.
offspring_dexter_live: If you want, I'll kick his ass for you and tell him to stop lagging.

iLuvNoodles asks: What action figures did you play with most as a child?
offspring_dexter_live: Hey, with a login name like iLuvNoodles, you've got worse problems than that.

johnny_rockin asks: did you take guitar lessons or have any formal musical training?
offspring_dexter_live: They have this place called GIT, it stands for Guitar Institute.
offspring_dexter_live: It's like this place where if you want to be Eddie Van Halen, or Yngwie Malmsteen,
offspring_dexter_live: then you go there to learn how to play guitar.
offspring_dexter_live: I would like to poop on that place. I hate that crap.

trekool99 asks: If you could have ANY one musician play with the Offspring for one gig, who would it be?
offspring_dexter_live: We've actually been lucky enough to have Jello Biafra from the Dead Kennedys play with us,
offspring_dexter_live: that was totally cool.

Amzed_grl_32 asks: Hey Dexter! I was wondering how you felt about Weird Al's song "pretty fly for a rabbi". Personally , I think it is funny. by the way, I love all of your albums, but especially Ignition.
offspring_dexter_live: That was actually our original version of that song.

offspring_fan16 asks: I heard you were coming out with a live album, is there going to be any older stuff on it?
offspring_dexter_live: You know, we were actually starting on a live album, but we couldn't get it together right now.
offspring_dexter_live: We're really busy touring and all, so we're putting the live album on hold for now.

backstreet07 asks: What do you have against the Backstreet Boys?
offspring_dexter_live: I'll bare my soul.
offspring_dexter_live: Well, I guess it's time I tell the truth.
offspring_dexter_live: The fact is, I'm jealous.
offspring_dexter_live: I wanted to be that guy with the designer sideburns and f***in' gucci sunglasses.
offspring_dexter_live: He stole my mojo.
offspring_dexter_live: Actually, we've heard that N'stink are playing pretty fly at their shows.
offspring_dexter_live: If you see them, please spit on them for us.

C_Trickle asks: how do you explain your appeal to the gay community?
offspring_dexter_live: One word: Noodles!

RyanDrummer asks: How long did it take to make your latest video?
offspring_dexter_live: We shot a video for She's Got Issues last weekend. The whole shoot lasted three days.
offspring_dexter_live: I think the video will be done in a couple weeks.

proffsprng asks: Who could win in a fight, You, Noodles, Ron and Greg?
offspring_dexter_live: Oh, that would be Ron for sure.

mad_gregor asks: Hello Dexter, I am from Poland, it's 4am here and I've got very important question for all Polish fans: Are you going to come back to Poland and the second one is: Have you enjoyed the show in Warsaw?
offspring_dexter_live: We're coming to Europe next week, but I don't think we'll make it all the way to Poland.
offspring_dexter_live: We're going to some other close countries though, like Denmark and Germany.
offspring_dexter_live: We had a great time playing in Warsaw, it seemed like people were pretty excited.
offspring_dexter_live: We actually drove almost 24 hours straight from Czechoslovakia to get there,
offspring_dexter_live: so it was rad that kids were so into it, it made it totally worthwhile for us.

CalliLostTheWar asks: Did it hurt when you got hit with that bottle at Woodstock?
offspring_dexter_live: No, actually it felt really good.

Bonzodrums asks: will you play a concert in my basement.. we can make it a cookout
offspring_dexter_live: We used to play concerts in peoples' basements, actually.
offspring_dexter_live: Once we did a show in a basement in Spokane, and we gave out motor oil to girls who would slam.

kiisu14 asks: what was that silver thing on your neck when you were singing WDYGAJ at woodstock?
offspring_dexter_live: That was an electrode.

Daeyah asks: Are you going to be on TRL any time soon?
offspring_dexter_live: I don't think so. We sent the pretty fly guy in our place last time.