Wednesday, 24 December 2014

If God is everywhere, then everywhere must be holy, no?
Sometimes, all you have to do is shut up, and there it is. There's a shimmer on all kinds of things, even ugly things. That's God.
I keep a diary. In it are listed many, many holy moments. (If I don't write them down, I tend to forget them.) This has been a holy year.
Yesterday on the road to Paco's vineyard, three owls lifted out of the ditch and across our path. They vanished into the fog. They were perfectly silent.
With Laurie in July, on a cow-path in a mountaintop meadow near Penalba, with Ponferrada far down in the distance. We stopped and sat against the steep hillside. I pulled off my boots and stretched out my toes. I felt my feet smile.
With three beloved people in a stone house in the mountains in France, staring up at the stars in the back garden, laughing and exulting over divine cheese and wine and Rachmaninoff on the radio. "It's 3 o'clock in the morning!" someone said. We all fell silent. We all looked at one another, then smiled. It was God we felt in the room. God was there.
In a cave with hands painted on the walls thousands of years ago.
In my car, stopped in the middle of a terrific thunderstorm, the rain roaring on the roof and nothing at all visible outside.
In my arms while Murphy Cat died, in the horror of his suffering, and the tenderness of Mo cat and Rosie dog, who came and touched his body with their noses once he finished. How Paddy's hands tucked the towel 'round his head, and so softly laid the dirt over him out back.
How Paddy's hands put ends to suffering hens, because I just cannot do that myself. Paddy is not godless, no matter what he says. He buries our dead. God is with him.
God is with me at church, as you'd expect. I taste him at Communion, I feel the rush of him in my pew. I heard his voice in the canary songs, and the crows' sour voices, too.
I hear him in the poetry of priests. In February I read out the poetry myself, in English, in my deep Scripture Voice, in the great cathedral shrine at Santiago de Compostela, I stood and recited the Gospel Truth as winter rain poured through the roof above, and the holy ghost moved all around our side-chapel of St. Andrew.
He came too, in May, to Crystal Gardens Banquet Facility in South Detroit, when I read scripture at a somewhat wrong moment of my son's Muslim wedding feast. I was forgiven. I think I was actually heard.
I felt God in September outside the Bar Luna in Sahagun, just after I had an impacted molar pulled. I had lost consciousness, frightened the dentist, gave myself a scare, too. I was stunned, bloody, The anesthesia was wearing off. The waiter brought me a shot of Four Roses and a glass of draft beer.
I drank them down, and felt the strength of ten men roar into my being. God with us!
Sometimes God is obvious. He came with the strength of two men late last Winter, when I planted a tree. It was a big tree, too big for me to handle on my own, a meaningful tree, in memory of a fallen pilgrim. I stopped and stilled my bothered-ness and asked for help. And up the trail came two strapping pilgrims, who helped me wrestle the tree into the hole and stand it straight and fill in the dirt around it. They even snapped photos!
He sat in my hands this summer when I treated a pilgrim with a ruptured Achilles tendon. The man was a doctor. He knew what was wrong. He was ready to go home. And in the morning, well... I still don't like to say it. The tendon was whole again. The tear had repaired in the night. The pilgrim headed out onto the trail rejoicing. I was stunned. I still am.
But when I think of where I see God, and I think mostly of mundane things, daily things. St. Teresa of Avila, a great Christian mystic from here in Castilla, told the Grand Inquisitor that "God lives in the kitchen, among the pots and pans."
This year I saw God in mud-and-straw adobe bricks, in my sudden outburst of properly conjugated preterite imperfect verbs. I saw him in the faces of Antonio from Badajoz, Miguel Angel from Paris, Andy from Birmingham, Kathy from San Francisco. I saw him at Thanksgiving in Madrid, and here in Moratinos, in the fog, in the ditches, the plaza, the bodegas.
He's here. He brings holiness with him.
And if we just show up, he makes us holy, too.

Thursday, 18 December 2014

Everybody
loves a good Manifesto. Manifestos make you think of burning barricades, tragic
youths facing down The Man, overthrows and uproar with a righteous tinge.

I helped to
write a Manifesto last weekend, at a meeting of camino people in Villafranca de
Bierzo. There were precious few barricades to be seen, burning or otherwise.
There was a lot of really good local Mencia wine, though, and a lot of
back-slapping and old-friends hugging, a lot of opinions.

These were
not young firebrands out to change the world. These were old hands of
the trail: Tomas the Templar of Manjarin, Jesus Jato from Ave Fenix (looking
very frail). The original old bearded dude who walks the trail dressed in a
brown robe. The little saint who runs the bare-bones albergue in Tosantos. Don
Blas, the high-energy priest of Fuenterroble who brought the Via de la Plata to
the fore. Jose Antonio de la Reira, a bagpipe-blowing Gallego who helped
paint the first yellow arrows, and Luis, the TV reporter who broadcast the
renewal to the rest of Spain.

They are
heavy hitters, these guys. I have a lot of respect for most of them.

When they
asked me to step up and be the token North American on the board of the Fraternidad Internacional del Camino de Santiago," their new
“camino action group,” I said “sure!” I was honored, even.

Even though I've kinda had it with camino groups. Even though it’s hard for me to keep up with them, language-wise. Even though I don’t
always make myself clear. I am dedicated to the same principals they are, and I
have some things to offer. They listen carefully when I talk, and they don’t
interrupt and overrun my efforts with their own ideas. I am treated with
respect in this group… I do not find that in some other gatherings I have
attended.

We did most
of the work in a splendid old theater in the Villafranca town hall, where a
hundred important people from eight or nine countries bashed and hashed out a list of proposals for later
clarification and action. Lots of people brought their favorite hobbyhorses and
axes to grind, but everyone was reasonably polite and orderly.

There were
reporters at the Villafranca gathering, but the ship didn’t hit the sand til
mid-week, when the word spread out across the camino Ways. Board members appeared on TV and
radio shows, explaining that yes, there are some problems on the magic path,
that yes, there are some rip-offs going on, that yes, the public
administrations charged with overseeing this UNESCO World Heritage Site are
asleep at the switch.

Yes, the
Caminos are in danger of becoming victims of their own success. And we the
people who love the caminos need to band together and do something, before
complete Disneyfication sets in, and the old values of hospitality, simplicity,
and kindness are drowned in a wave of Euro notes, souvenir stands, and Ye Olde
4-star Albergues.

Yeah,
we live in a Capitalist society. Yeah, the camino is a tourism product now,
like it or not. We can’t put that genie back inside the bottle. Or maybe it’s a
hydra. It has several heads.

It’s no
surprise the developers and builders and people selling things impinge on the
old road. It’s an old road. It follows the geographical line of least resistance,
it’s got highway access, it’s got lots of potential customers passing by every
day. And “the authorities” are a notoriously corrupt and lazy bunch of rascals.
Nobody’s held their feet to the fire. Yet.

No one’s
really defined what kind of protections are afforded places along a “Heritage
of Mankind” highway, so it’s kinda hard to defend the sagging old monastery
from benign neglect, or the little Roman bridge from the bulldozer. In Fromista, right here in my neighborhood,
the Romanesque church of San Martin, a national treasure, has an apartment
block going up a few yards from the back door. It’s perfectly legal, according to local zoning laws. The fact that it’s
a crime against good taste doesn’t enter into it. We want to change this.

Other
things have changed all on their own, out of control – on the ground, where the
old “poor pilgrim on a holy journey to the sacred shrine” has morphed into
“well-heeled cultural tourist on a hard-but-really cool hike to an awesome
church where you get a Latin certificate at the end that says you
don’t have to go to Purgatory! Ha!”

The
certificate is called a Compostela. It is issued by the Cathedral of Santiago
de Compostela to anyone who can prove he’s walked the last 100 kilometers into
town (or biked or rode a horse the last 200.) These certificates have a long
history. They used to certify (and they still do, in writing) the bearer came to
Santiago on a journey of Christian faith, with a prayerful purpose – that he
was, in truth, a pilgrim.

But when
the pilgrimage started picking up steam again a couple of decades ago, the
cathedral came up with a plan meant to filter out the bus-tours and shameless
cheaters. They created the 100 kilometer rule. Instead of an identifying letter
each pilgrim once carried from their priest or bishop, the cathedral issued
its own “credential,” a fold-out booklet issued at the start of the trip to
each pilgrim. Each day, the pilgrim’s host rubber-stamps the credential,
creating a colorful collector’s item and blessed assurance the pilgrim get his
Compostela at the end of the road.

The
cathedral and a lot of other people soon woke up to the money-making potential
of these documents. Nowadays, boxloads of credentials are sold to tour
companies and tourist offices, to be sold at inflated prices to whomever wants
one. Pilgrims enjoy picking and choosing which stamps to have in their
“passports” according to which is most pretty, which fits best, or
which are “weirdest.” (One pilgrim burst into tears when I accidentally put our
stamp on her credential upside-down.)

And the
Compostela, oh my. The idolatry that goes on at the Pilgrim Office in Santiago
de Compostela just boggles the mind at times – the long lines, the drama, the
tears, the vapors… all for a piece of paper that certifies the bearer is
something he would probably never admit to being – a repentant sinner, saved by God's grace.

But I
preach. The 100 kilometer requirement
for the Compostela, combined with the ruthless logic of Unintended Outcomes,
has created 100 kilometers of overdevelopment, overcrowding, litter,
price-gouging, and disillusion, from the little boom town of Sarria right to
Santiago itself. One out of every three
hikers applying for a Compostela has walked the minimum mileage possible. People who make the whole
long-distance voyage step out of a relatively quiet countryside into a clatter that carries them all
the way to the end.

We would
like to deal with that.

We want to
give the camino back to the people on a spiritual journey to a holy place. We want the pilgrim to know he is a holy
person, on a sacred mission. We want to see him treated with respect and
dignity, and we want him to behave with respect and dignity.

This part
of the manifesto has drawn all kinds of indignant denial from just about
everyone with a monetary interest in the camino. I was told, personally, that I
am naïve, “thinking like a little child.” “That it’s all very nice that you
care so much, but who will enforce this?” “Who will push it through, who can
change anything that’s already in progress?”

We can. If
we want to enough, we can.

It will
take a long time, and not everything we propose will work. All we can do is
try.

We have
time. We are on the side of the angels. The Camino’s been here for a thousand years, through wars and plagues
and reformations, it’s been pimped and sold and betrayed a thousand times,
probably in worse ways than these. We
could sit back and just let it go, let the “market forces” take over and drive
this camino into the ground, too. But we
don’t have to.

Thursday, 11 December 2014

The great green valley of San Martin opened up before us. The dogs flowed over the ridge and down into doggie heaven. Something moved in the far distance, a fox.
Definitely a fox, a gray one. He saw us coming. He took off running.
Lulu saw. Lulu the huntress, the greyhound. A fox is pretty large prey, and it had a good head start. But Lulu lives for chasing things that run away.
Mist rolled down the valley. The fox ran hard. The greyhound stretched out her legs. The other dogs followed her. It was a medieval tapestry, a hunt scene in faded black and grey.
I lost them in the fog, but I knew where they were. They fox had gone to ground.
A mile later I stepped across the frozen field to collar the yapping, baying curs. From deep in a brambly ditch came the skunky stink of musk and an extraordinary noise, a low mechanical burr with a coloratura yowl. Teeth, claws, rabies. Varmint panic.
I really wanted to see the critter, but I really did not want to get too close.
Everyone but Lulu came away with me. Everyone but Lu knows you don't get too near anything that makes a noise like that.

Lulu ended up bloodied, but not badly hurt. She caught up to us later. I do not know what became of the fox. I wasn't about to go looking for it.

Today again I walked the dogs in fog -- it's normal this time of year. (It disappears again in January, when winter sits down hard.) We walked on the camino, watching the ditches for litter. In a bush I saw a plastic box. I reached inside the branches and pulled it out.

The label on the lid was ruined, but I knew straightaway what it was: a Geocache.

Inside were some flyers explaining what a Geocache is. There was a very nice leatherbound notebook, a rubber stamp, pencils, and some lanyards. Judging from the promotional nature of all the above, the geocache was a project of the Tourist Office of Castilla y Leon, who in their wisdom decided to spice up the lives of tourists and pilgrims with a high-tech "camino treasure hunt."

Geocachers are given a scorecard and an initial set of map coordinates, and use GPS units, compasses, and maps to locate these little boxes of goodies. They use the rubber stamp to mark their card, and they leave their name and a comment in the notebook. They can take a Castilla y Leon lanyard, but they'll leave some other little item behind for the next guy -- a candy bar, keychain, or similar swag.
The next set of coordinates is printed on the lid of the box. Or it was, once, before the rain got it.

I wrote in the notebook. I was the first and only person to have done so. I put it all back the way I found it, but more out of sight. (There are millions of geocaches hidden all over the world; this is the third one I have found by accident.) I wondered how long it has been there.

It made me think about geocaches, and geocachers.
They are the people who love maps, obviously. People who love knowing just where they are, just what time it is, They benefit from our passion for measurement and quantifying. We've assigned a numbers for every corner of the world, brought it under control, tamed it, made it ours.
Savage tribes are settled on reservations. Venomous spiders and highway robbers are all gassed and passed away into history. Exploring the world is a breeze, especially when you have all the coordinates in your hand-held worldwide GPS unit -- you can travel all over a foreign country, but you can't even get lost!

And with geocaching, all that safety hasn't drained all the wild blood out of orienteering. Play your coordinates right, and you can track plastic boxes full of Maple Leaf key fobs, cigarette rolling papers, granola bars... and the numbers to follow to find the next one. It's hunter-gatherer behavior, Hiawatha the Scout, without the bushwacking and chilblains and food poisoning.

It's harmless fun for people with leisure time and expendable income. Obviously the Junta de Castilla y Leon spent a nice chunk of money on plastic boxes and flyers, notebooks, pencils and satellite bandwidth. Which evidently nobody has bothered to find.

It's hard not to think of a few better uses for public funds. Most pilgrims are too busy shlepping themselves to the next albergue to involve themselves in treasure hunts.

Geocachers have their own community websites, and they set up their own caches -- I don't think they go looking for tourist-office inventions. Geocaching is already here, without any government involvement. Two summers ago I helped a Canadian volunteer hide three plastic caches in the neighborhood, saw her upload the coordinates to a satellite somewhere overhead. An international community of geocachers occasionally ply their hobbies in Moratinos, but somehow they missed the cache that I found, almost in plain sight, looking an awful lot like trash.

Which is kinda nice, really. We should let some things stay mysteries. We should just walk sometimes, without a map or a guide. We should know the delight of finding the box in the bushes, without a map or machine to send us there.

Sometimes the ditch gives up a box. And sometimes it's a fox.
We only think we are safe, poking around in the bushes.

Friday, 5 December 2014

In keeping with my daft ideals, each year I hold the Palencia Camino Cleanup. I raise some funds and round up volunteers and gas up the car and we walk all 80+ kilometers of Camino de Santiago in Palencia province, picking up the litter along the way. The air is clear and fresh and cold, the weeds have died back in the ditches. We all get a great, gentle workout while we Do the Right Thing.

This year there were four of us. Bas is from a fishing village on the coast of England -- he's from a tinker family, and tells some interesting tales. Kathy is my best bud from San Francisco. It took her two long days of broken airplanes to finally get here, but now we're making hemp muscle-rub and wreaths of rosemary, cruising the Roman villas. And Bruno, our Italian neighbor and hospitalero at Albergue San Bruno, did a big share on the long stretches -- he and I are the only ones who can drive the car, so when he's along, I only need to walk half the distance,
And he brings KitKat bars.

It is useful and fun, even. Just when you start feeling bored with walking along the road, you find someone's underpants.

It's been stressful old year, 2014, and I will be glad to bid it goodbye. I left behind a bad tooth, a beloved cat, and two canaries. Or maybe they left me.

I climbed some mountains with a good friend and walked across a big plain on my own, until the sun stopped me cold. Not all stress is bad: I celebrated my son's marriage, his law school graduation, his swearing-in to the New Hampshire bar; I got a fine new daughter in law called Raheela. I got to know my son in law Dave a bit better in September, when he and Libby joined me for a holiday in the French Pyrenees. Libby landed a very competitive scholarship, paid-for by her employer, to earn her Masters in Public Administration at George Mason University.
My children made me mighty proud this year.

I am still working on the book, still dreaming big dreams, talking big daft ideas, still a big bleeding-heart liberal. Still doin' the Christian thing with a Buddhist zing.

Paddy and I are getting older. Parts are beginning to fall off here and there. He is dealing with his end-of-year annual sciatica, but it didn't keep him from going to London this week to visit the Dear Aulds. I learned the doctors wielding the terrifying tests detailed in the last blog succeeded in finding exactly nothing wrong. They say they want to stick needles in me for a biopsy anyway, but nobody's scheduled that yet.

I'd put some big things on "hold" until I learned if I was OK. I think it's time to get on with life now. Or let life get on with me.

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Pinned
face-down in a tiny tunnel, hands bound, lower body covered in a heavy blanket,
immobilized. I could feel drugs move hot across my back, up my neck. My face
flushed red, my nose itched, but breathing deeply just made me more aware of
the weight pressing on my back.

I have
nightmares like this, but this was real. This was for my own good. People do
this every day, and they don’t break down. They don’t freak out. Just breathe
softly, I told myself. Close your eyes.

If I wanted
to keep breathing, I had to be perfectly still. If I wanted this to end, I
could not move.

The noise
started, ticks and thumps, then a steady beat.

Holy holy holy Lord God of power and might,

Heaven and earth are full of your glory

Hosanna in the highest

It was set
to go on for 20 minutes. I didn’t know if I would last that long. I had to.

Early today I had a Magnetic Resonance Image experience at Hospital Rio Carrion in
Palencia. I had an MRI before, but it was just my face, my sinuses. This was
the whole chest, the whole body-inside business.

I was not prepared for the
panic. I was not ready to be overwhelmed by irrational fear. I thought I’d outgrown claustrophobia. But now
I see I’ve just developed ways to avoid small, tight spots. I use coping
strategies to handle booths and crowded elevators, and crowds in general. They
are excuses, dodges.

The MRI
dropped me face-down and head-first into the horror I keep deep down.

Starting
out was the worst. Settling into the bonds. Feeling just how deep a breath I
could take without bumping against the arc above my shoulder blades. Feeling
things shift in my sinuses, hoping nothing moved in there to block my breathing.

These
people are professionals, I told myself. They know what to do if you can’t
breathe. Stop. Noble thoughts. Prayers.

Padre nuestro que
estas en el cielo

Sanctificada sea tu
nombre

Soon time
stopped meaning anything. I had to stop thinking about when it would end,
because it might just be starting. If I was going to get through this, I had to
stop thinking.

I relived the drive down to Palencia, the dawn breaking red and orange over a hillside studded
with windmills. There was a pilgrim out there already, hunched in the cold,
dark on the path, moving fast. Just at Calzadilla I saw a dog running alongside
the road, down on the camino – it leaped and twisted like something joyful. I
slowed, hoping it didn’t dart into the road. I looked down and into its face.
It was not a dog. It was a fox, with a mouse in its mouth. Its fox-tail was
thick and lush, its eyes looked through their white mask and right into mine.

Where can I go from your presence?

Where can I flee from your spirit?

If I go up to the heavens you are there,

If I lie down in the depths, you are there

You have searched me and you know me

You are with me always, even unto the ends of the Earth

I thought
of my sister Beth, who reassured me this week that this problem is common, she
went through this before herself, it hurts but it’s not cancer.

Not cancer.
Not cancer. That means a lot to ­­­­me, it’s why I am in this machine, so I can
find out. So many of our family get cancer, and so many of us are dead now. I
don’t want to be dead. I don’t want to be sick, even. I don’t want to hurt. I
want to breathe. I want to walk in big
broad steps and wave my arms around and shout at bad dogs, and laugh out loud.

I thought
of the low bright sun outside, and Paddy probably out on the campo with all the
dogs at that very moment, throwing ridiculous long shadows down into the
fields. The walk up to the tumberon, all that sky and air and space ahead and
behind and above. The music in the house, the morning music, ridiculous witty
Cole Porter music

While tearing off

A game of golf

I might make a play for the caddy

But if I do I don’t follow through

Cause my heart belongs to Paddy

The music
started moving to the pulsing deep rhythm of the machine, and I saw myself
dancing to that, like I danced many times in the past, arms and legs, hips and
fingers, all in motion all at once, to that music. Techno. Deep house. In my
head I boogied down, while my body stayed utterly, perfectly still, while the
magnets whirled round my carcass and somehow shot dozens of photos of what’s
inside.

Here am I, sitting in a tin can

High above the world

Planet Earth is blue

And there’s nothing I can do

And then it
stopped.

And I was
freed.

And I went
home.

On Tuesday
afternoon I will know what they saw.

Meantime, I
will celebrate Thanksgiving. I will walk under the big sky and take great deep breaths.

Thursday, 6 November 2014

The brown-eyed girl came first, a Navajo called Annalise. From New Mexico, a dental hygienist, a bad ankle, a chipper little talk talk talker. I was baking bread. She watched carefully.
I put her to work, helping trim the buds on some dried stalks. A big job for people who are sitting down. A great thing to do while someone talks, while The Eagles sing on the stereo, while a storm gathers up in the sky outside.
Autumn blew in overnight over the weekend. Now it's blustery and chilly, and the sky can't decide on sun or clouds or overcast, snow or cold or wind. I took the screens and the canvas roof off the little gazebo out on the patio, I pulled the orange tree and ficus and pony-tail palm inside, just in time. When the ugly storm broke, the patio was waiting for it, stripped half naked and ready for the worst.
Annalise said she'd left a note for her friend in the bar in Calzadilla, that the guy was sure to stop there for his 10 a.m. beer, sure to get the note, sure to get here before nightfall. He's a chef in a restaurant, she said -- he can cook our dinner when he arrives! Him and maybe a couple of other people. Maybe a couple or more people, she said. It depends.
And so yes, they showed up. Michael, the Belgian beer-lover, tattooed and pierced and carrying a flute and drum and juggling sticks in his 25-kilo pack -- a classic Camino character. (these are the kind of guys who built our house, matter of fact.)
Then came Joseph, an older man whose face shone with the gentle severity of San Ignacio -- and yes, he was a Basque, a doctor just back from years of service in Gambia. His ankle was very bad, there was a hole torn in the heel. His Achilles tendon was about half-ruptured. I did some healing juju on it, even though he is a doctor. He closed his eyes and breathed as I did it, just they way you ought to. A real doctor, a real healer, knows how to be healed himself, just as well as he knows how to heal others. He learned that in Africa, he said.
With him was Will, a mild-mannered man from Charleston, S.C., who immediately fell in with the dogs and cat. With him was Santiago, a dark-eyed Murcian who works in Mexico, "moving merchandise." His hair was black and wild, he had prison tattoos, but a toothy smile full of sunshine. There were three more, but we had no room for them. They went to Bruno's place.
Oh, and there's Coco, a shiny black Podenco hound who we are babysitting while his master finishes the Camino. Tim and Rosie tolerate him. Momo Cat kinda likes him, I think. He follows me around like a puppy dog. He likes to eat everyone else's dog food.
All the pilgrims were inordinately happy to see one another, even though they'd seen each other only hours before, they exulted, hugged and kissed, even with packs still strapped on and walking poles in hand, with dogs barking and laundry going up onto the lines. A hunk of veal shoulder for four was sliced with carrots and potatoes into a ragout for seven. Potatoes peeled, buds put into jars and stowed away, writing projects despaired-of and abandoned, Someone produced wine, another pulled out some eggs, some lettuce, a tomato... which quickly combined with some other leftovers into a pan of fried rice and a salad with honey-mustard dressing. The sun went down suddenly.
In the middle of it all, after a wait of three weeks, Tino the Electrician arrived to fix the lights in the salon. The salon by then was stacked with pack-covers and gloves, draped with drying socks and dozing blokes. He pulled some wires out of the wall, climbed up on a chair.
All the lights in the house went out. Someone actually screamed a little scream, which made all the dogs bark madly. The lights came back on right away, and the dogs thought they'd done it.
We set the table with plates of different colors, backup silverware, four bottles of less-than-wonderful vino. Tino fled. We pulled a lawn chair in from outside and everyone sat down to a lovely communal feast, conducted in English, Spanish, and German.
There was just enough of everything. Everyone helped to wash up dishes and wipe down the kitchen.
Everyone went to bed by 10:30. Every bed was full, and Will shared the mattress on the living room floor with Tim, Coco, Momo, and Rosie, who are not allowed to climb on beds.
I retreated to my office, which was very chilly.
I thought I might write.
I fell asleep instead.

Saturday, 25 October 2014

Today in
Moratinos me and Paddy attended the “Golden Wedding” of Celestino and Esther.
Celestino is a son of Moratinos, the brother of Milagros, the man who opens his
bodega in the summer to passing pilgs, the man whose bum knee a couple of years
ago was miraculously cured by San Antonio. He is the man who gave us advice on
how to repair the bodega roof. The man who told us the tale of the mysterious
pilgrim at the bodegas, back in the 1930s. He’s only here in the summer, but hundreds
of pilgrims remember Celes as the local who showed them inside a Castilian wine
cave, who gave him a taste of the rough local vino and a slice of divine sheeps’
milk cheese. Celestino is the original
Moratinos spokesman.

Today, all the
family came back to town to celebrate Celestino and his Basque bride Esther,
with a Mass and the Coro de Sahagun singing, a huge dinner at the bodega
restaurant, a dance in the plaza, and God knows what else after, with everyone
dressed up to the nines, the Autumn sun shining, with all the bells ringing,
rockets booming, open bar and chorizo and lomo laid on. We were invited to all of it, even though we
weren’t totally sure how much. We dressed up for the 1 p.m. Mass, maybe because
we are fond of Celestino, maybe because the whole town was awake and stirring.

Esther y Celestino, back in the day

Celes was
one of dozens of local boys who left Palencia to seek work elsewhere during the
1950s and 60s. He found work in a cardboard-box factory in Bilbao, where he met
Esther, who grew up on a Masia in Basque country, and who spoke not a word of
Castilian Spanish. But love conquers all – four years later, in 1964, the two
were wed.

Everyone
and his sister came to the Mass, even the neighbors who don’t usually attend
these things. It did not disappoint. People came who have not been seen here
for decades. Tears were shed, the Gospel was read, and impossible notes were
reached-for by amateur sopranos. The
couple re-exchanged vows, their daughters and grandchildren read readings no
one could hear over the yowling descendents, and then we all said Amen and
headed out into the sunshine, out to the bodegas, to taste the vintage, to
taste the real wine, brought down from Esther’s native Basque Country.

Celes and Esther, today

We had a
copa, we ate the embutidos, we said “enhorabuena,” we made to head home. But
Celestino headed us off at the door – “No no no! You are family now! You’ve
been invited since a month! It’s all paid-for!” he said. “I will be crushed if
you go now!” So what could we do?

So we sat,
and so we ate: grilled shrimp, crabs, razor clams, mussels, salad, grilled cuttlefish –
all served with a dry white Albarino. Jose and Esteban outdid themselves for
their uncle. Then came the meat: lamb chops, chips, dark red Tempranillo. Mas y
mas. Paddy dropped out before the wine changed. I stuck with white, but did not
last much longer.

a crab who did not die in vain, with Carlos

I found my
way to the terrace, where little Isabel, “the daughter of Moratinos,” was
making an appearance along with the day’s dose of pilgrims. Down in the plaza
the dancing started. I shared some vino blanco with two lucky French pilgrims.
(I must pay for it on Tuesday.)

And then I
realized that yes, it was time to head home. I’d lost the feel of my pointy-toe
shoes, and another trip to the bathroom in my complicated underpinnings might
prove too much for my architectural education.

Here at the
Peaceable I trust Paddy has fed the dogs – they are quiet. If there are
pilgrims, they are equally invisible.

And so,
after great swills of water and a full milligram of Tylenol, I shall retire to
my bed, to sleep the sleep of the righteous, well-fed and watered, como la
familia de Celestino.

Como una Palentina de pura cepa – like a purebred daughter
of Palencia.

Thursday, 16 October 2014

It's creepy out there, violent wind and darkness. Big poplars roar above our bedroom roof, and down in the patio the gazebo curtains bow and flutter in sideways rain. The little yellow lamps strung out over the picnic table send a pathetic glow across the patio.

In summertime they're jolly, but the weather's changed. Now they are weak and sad. They're no proof against the noisy dark.

There ought to be ghosts here. Here in little Moratinos, a paleolithic warrior lies in "the tumberon," an unexcavated hill tomb thousands of years old. Two of the neighbors use centuries-old stone sarcophagi for animal troughs, heisted many years ago from the ruins of a long-gone monastery. The farmers spare no thought for the abbots who once moldered inside. The St. Nicolas cemetery stands on the site of a medieval leprosarium, where poor souls with infectious skin diseases lived and died for centuries.

Human bones lie scattered in the field outside cemetery walls, turned out to make room for the next generation in the two-person family tombs. Arable land is too valuable to waste on dead people. Cemetery space is tight. This is the final word in recycling.

Violent death, the kind that supposedly makes ghosts happen, is no stranger here. Out on the two-lane beyond the back gate, pilgrims and pets are struck down and killed. Cars careen off the curves and into the culverts and cottonwood trees. Eighty years ago now, a transport truck carrying explosives blew up over where the Villada Road meets the N-120. The driver died, and a mule. A mile west, five years ago now, a French lady died in a highway accident. Two years later, atop the same hill, a bicycle pilgrim was struck and killed.

In the fields, along the tractor-paths where nobody goes, lie buried the bones of those who disappeared in the civil war and the terror that followed. A 16-year-old boy from Grajal, shot in the gut and left to die, bled to death along a road between here and St. Nicolas. He ought to be a ghost, if anyone is.

Everybody used to know where the bodies were buried, but now all of them are gone. And before that, the soldiers of Napoleon, the soldiers of England and Spain, even Templar Knights, they marched through town, or stayed around. Some of them were killed, or died along this stretch. Not to mention epidemics, accidents, crimes of passion, slow poisonings, lonely suicides -- endings endemic to any place where humans live close together.

I have never heard a ghost story here. For whatever reason, the people who pass on from this neighborhood all stay dead. Like the pilgrims who slumber so deep in their beds, the dead of Moratinos rest in peace.

Even if they wanted to wander the highways or huertas, ghosts round here could not compete with the weather. These creepy nights the wind moans and screams louder than a banshee. It hammers on the doors. It throws buckets and brooms around like a poltergeist, it overturns the garbage bins and bangs open barn doors.

And when the wind goes still, the owls shriek. Bats flutter and chatter under the streetlights, sending wild shadows dancing down Calle Ontanon. Voices carry from far off across the fields. Snatches of music. A radio, maybe.

Friday, 3 October 2014

Outside the
throng chants. The ladies are firm but gentle. They pull us one by one through
heavy curtains, into a chamber of marble and concrete. Their movements are
carefully choreographed. One holds up a blue fabric sheet, another motions that
now was the time to strip off our clothes.

The ladies do not speak a language I
understand. I do not know what to do, where to go next. They wrap the blue
fabric around my body, carefully covering everything. My turn comes. One takes
my by the wrist and pulls me along through another curtain, to another team of
ladies on either side of a long marble tub. My blue wrap is removed, and a
cold, wet sheet is wrapped around me as I descend into the frigid spring water.

A lady pats
me reassuringly on the shoulder. I kneel in the water when I am supposed to
sit. The ladies tip me backward, but I don’t go under all the way. They do not
snicker. I am not the only beginner here. They must do this a thousand times a
day.

Women who
cannot speak, walk, hear, or see, and women who do those things too much. Women
with missing limbs, failing hearts, broken spirits, withered breasts and
scattered wits. They’ve seen us all.

We come to Lourdes for health and grace. We come looking
for something we don’t deserve. Most of us don’t really expect to get anything
but wet.

But you
never know. The walls of the church above the spring are covered from floor to
ceiling with marble plaques engraved with words of thanks, a century’s
worth of testimonies to answered prayers.

In another
time and place, the bath-house ladies would have been priestesses of of a water
goddess. But at Lourdes the goddess is the Virgin Mary, her apostle is St.
Bernadette, a local peasant girl who saw the virgin in a vision at this spring
a bit more than a century ago. Bernadette drank the dirty water, she washed her
face in it. A neighbor touched the water, and her withered hand was made whole.
It did not take long for word to spread.

A building campaign was arranged, a
huge train depot installed to connect this remote mountain village to the
French rail network. Lourdes took off, the hoteliers and souvenir dealers moved
in, and the town is now a Catholic Disneyland. (The shrine complex itself is remarkably restrained, taste-wise. I shudder to think what it would look like if Lourdes happened in, say, Ohio.)

Everybody
loves a miracle. Everybody wants one. And
almost everybody loves their mother.

Everyone at
Lourdes swears they do not worship the Virgin Mary. They worship Jesus, her
son, they say. But it was
Mary who showed herself to little Bernadette. Mary’s image still is everywhere
at Lourdes, with Jesus appearing only in the occasional altar crucifix, or as
the bonny baby in the arms of his Most Holy Virgin Mother.

In the Catholic world, God the father is so
distant, so furious and judgmental. Jesus? So much guilt attached to him – he was
so nice, and he died horribly, and every time I sin it’s my fault, all over
again. But Mary? Oh, Mary, mother mine, sweetness, kindness, staying God’s
angry judgment, crying the same tears every parent cries! Mary is someone truly
human, a simple girl, a humble wife, and a mom… without any of the sex and
blood and bodily fluids. What’s not to love?

It's heresy to say so, but Mary is the
female aspect of the Holy Trinity. Nobody seems to really know or understand what
the Holy Spirit is supposed to be… no one really connects to doves much. The
original Trinitarians gave Christians a wholly masculine god. But the believers
said No. We need a goddess, thank you. And Mary looks real good to us. And so
she is, or so she has become, to both Orthodox and Catholic believers, and a whole
load of Protestants, too.

In the hard-shell pietist Protestant world I grew up in, Marian devotion and Lourdes-type shrines were viewed as the
worst kind of idolatry, cynical priests milking money from superstitious souls
looking for magic in a mountain spring.

But the Bible is full of stories of healing springs. Baptism itself is a healing spring. I thought a long time about taking the waters at Lourdes, if it is something I should do. And the scripture told of a woman who simply reached out and touched Jesus' robe and was healed, and another woman who Jesus sent away as unworthy, who stood up to the very Son of God and said "No! I need grace, even if I am not a chosen one!" And Jesus gave her what she needed, and wished the Chosen had such faith. I am not a baptised Catholic, not a "chosen one" in Lourdes terms. But I am a needy soul. Maybe even a superstitious one.

And at Lourdes, the superstitious souls smile. They let one another go first at the
English-language confessionals, and make sure everyone has a scripture-verse
card written in his own language. Jolly children open the taps for elderly nuns,
and help them fill their Blessed Virgin-shaped jars with blessed spring water. The
handicapped roll right up to the front of the line in specially provided gurneys
and wheelchairs and chariots. Uniformed ladies and gentlemen open special
gates for them. They lower them into the healing waters. They hold their hands
when they cry out from the cold.

We don't deserve it, but they let us
go first. They make sure we understand. They open the taps for us. When we stand naked and vulnerable, they do not laugh at us. When we cry
out, someone takes our hand.

Monday, 29 September 2014

I am on holiday. I am living an American Dream, at least a middle-class fantasy.
I am for two weeks living in the Pyrenees mountains of southern France, a 19th century stone farm house hung with ancient family photos and furnished with comfortable antiques. There's a sunny terrace out front where we take our breakfasts, overlooking a mountainside of bellowing tan cows and invisible, roaring stags. The radio receives nothing but Rachmaninoff and "The Fountains of Rome" and "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God." The fridge is full of exquisite butter, apricots, pears, black-olive confit. There are bottles of Bordeaux and Boujolais and St. Emilion, fizzy water and apple liqueur (which is nasty.)

Miguel Angel

For almost a week my daughter and son in law were here with me, on a whirlwind holiday from their busy lives in Washington, D.C. Here, too, was Miguel Angel, my friend from Paris. He was our interpreter -- he is native to Mexico, but speaks perfect French. None of the rest of us speaks any at all... or we didn't when we arrived.
We went all together to Lourdes, a Catholic healing spa/Disneyland. We went to Pic du Midi, a heart-stopping drive to the tippy-top of the Pyrenees, where the Tour de France bicycle race comes to a head. We looked into the night sky, and saw the Milky Way. We hiked up the mountain and saw lizards, cows, eagles, a badger. We saw the hand-prints of prehistoric children on cavern walls, (were they humans? Was this artwork what made them into people?) and a medieval church built with the scraps of the nearby ruined Roman town, (sic transit gloria) that in the shadow of the hulking monastic cathedral perched on the hillside above (the monuments to triumphant Christianity now government-run tourist commodities in an extremely secular society.) Thousands of years of humanity, all that remains of individual lives now long lost to history.

Libby and Dave

I love Spain, but I must admit to France's cultural hegemony. It is as cultured place as I have ever been, elegant, tasteful, delicious and expensive.
Sadly, even its perfect Autumn days are still subject to the passage of time.
Miguel left first. (Such a beautiful man, why do my friends all live so far away?)
Today I drove Libby and David to Toulouse to get their airplane home. (dear God, when will I see her again? I love her so much!)
I do not like cities, or traffic. I did not linger long.
And so they all are gone now, and I am here alone.
The maison is no less lovely, or old, or resonant of the family that lived here for generations. If there are ghosts, they don't bother with Americaines.
I can stay another whole week if I want to. Paddy is doing just fine at home.
I feel guilty for this. I do not hold down a job. I don't go to work every day, or have a limited number of vacation days each year. My entire life, in a way, is a holiday. I don't deserve to be here.
I should do something spectacular and creative with this splendorous solitude. I should outline a new story, or start a new book, or draw pictures.
But I think I may just think with it.
Consider how much time remains, and what is possible. How healthy am I?
I must consider the things I dream of, and how much work and risk and sacrifice I am willing to take on to pursue those dreams... am I getting a bit too old to be pitching myself into plans without set time limits?

the room where I am thinking

I am lazy -- maybe it's that amazing butter. (we never use butter at home, the olive oil is so good!) A friend in Madrid writes with an intriguing proposal, but it looks like so much work... so much shmoozing, so many people..!
I am lazy, or depressed. I want to be alone.
The clock ticks. None of us knows how much time remains, how long the sun will keep shining on the terrace, how long the Bordeaux will hold out, how soon we have to get back on the plane and head out across the concrete and into the grey sky.
Into forgetfulness, into history.

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

The tooth was abcessed, it spread infection up into my sinuses and into my tonsils. I got pretty sick pretty fast, and the dentist finally pulled the molar. It was awful. I passed out in the chair. I scared the dentist!

And now, after two courses of antibiotics and many hours of sleep, I am getting better. I feel like I lost the first half of the month, as well as the back half of my mouth.

This is a truthful year for me. I have taken three good hikes -- the Camino Ingles in February, the Peñalba trail in July, the little slice of Camino Madrid in August. Two of them left me beat-up and battered for days after. I tire faster now, and stay that way longer. I am not the Iron Woman I used to be.

But today, today I feel like myself. In the morning light we loaded up the dogs and went out to the Camino de Galgos and walked a good 10 kilometers along an old canal, past a fox den and under the new high-speed railway line. The dogs love that hike. We do, too. The light out there is yellow and soft, and the sky puts on spectacular cloud shows. No one else ever goes there. We have it to ourselves.

The songbirds are flocking. The swallows are gone from the barn. This week, the leaves on the chestnut trees turned yellow.

At long last, Alfredo the Leña Man delivered 2 tonnes of firewood inside the back gate. Pilgrims arrived, Hungarians and Germans and Italians. We stacked the wood in the shed, in stages, over time. It was hot, sweaty, righteous work. The heat here is dry, so I find breaking a sweat is not so terrible. It drips off and disappears. It doesn´t make me all yicky-sticky.

The pilgs had to eat strange food, but they don´t care.
I have nothing profound to report.
Life is good out here on the plains.

Monday, 1 September 2014

I love a good ending. I love a good beginning even more.
And here it is, the first day of September. A bit of both. All the abundanza of the end of summer, the lush gardens, the grapevines coming on strong, a sky full of thunderheads. But when I am outside at 1 a.m. with Orion and Mars and the stars, it's almost cold.
Crickets sing in the dark. On the little boom-box we play Muddy Waters and Jussi Bjorling. One speaker points out onto the patio, and one into the kitchen. Someday we will get a proper stereo. We are kinda afraid what the dust here would do to a proper stereo. We will stick with the cheap option until they stop manufacturing these things. Then, well.
Silence is great. But everyone should have some "Long Distance Call" on September first, when the night is warm and the little string of solar bulbs switches itself on, the white wine comes up from the bodega at the just-right temperature. The end of a day of planting out the Fall crop of kale and chard and lettuce, topping up the dog- and chicken-feed, finally paying back Julia with a box of eggs for her many tons of apples, plums, membrillo and advice. (Her hens stopped laying when the men started re-roofing their house. Hens are touchy critters, and this time of year they molt -- they change their feathers, they stop laying. Bob Canary changes his feathers, and stops singing. Everybody needs a holiday.)
The Spaniards are back at home, back at school. All last week the trains were full, Moratinos and Sahagun teemed with out-of-towners, but their numbers slowly slackened. The Spanish summer madness winds down. The European Camino madness winds up. More and more foreigners show up now, thinking they won't have to compete for lodgings and dinner-tables. There's litter on the trails. A paint-can philosopher worked-over our labyrinth in the last couple of days, advising passing pilgrims that "The Silence Speaks."
(The Silence has spoken there for centuries without any help from dumb-asses with spray paint.)
And so it continues.
The Peaceable was busy in the past week. Patrick and I took turns going to Madrid to help a friend who's feeling low. I attended an Anglican Eucharist, which is always utterly delicious. We hosted pilgrims here, met some fine people, heard some great guitar music, ate razor clams and sardines and drank some good vino.
It is tempered by the troubles of our friend. And Momo Cat going on another walkabout. And my own issues. I developed a toothache at the end of the week, and lost a good portion of the weekend to pain and pain-killers. Worrisome things. Paddy made lovely soup from beans and bacon. I harvested the tomatoes out back and made the year's finest gazpacho. Tortillas, salsa, rice, easy things to eat. I am well cared-for.
And today... today was textbook late summer. The morning dog-walk was lovely, the dogs all had good runs and tumbles, almost no blood was shed, nothing was killed, we ran into no hunters, and all returned panting and well-aired. We went into town and found almost everything on the list -- alas, no dentist available until Thursday! Out on the camino I spread manure and calendula seeds and lots of water round the base of the Phil Wren Memorial Tree, and discovered the mess at the labyrinth.
My tooth did not hurt so much, long as I didn't use it for anything.
We made naan bread, a weekly team event. We read books, sitting out on the patio with dog noses poking at us. In the silence of the afternoon I went all round the walls of the house next door calling for Momo, just in case he was locked inside one of their outbuildings. (Mo has a distinctive bourbon-and-cigarettes sort of meow, and he answers when I call him.)
No Mo. How tiresome.
I took a nap.
The sun went low. The dogs lolled and wrestled on the patio. We had naan and gazpacho out there, listened to Steely Dan on the speaker, talked about old friends, and the old house that's for sale downtown.
And just as Paddy wound up a discourse on Heideggar, we heard a noise.
A yowl. A yip. Unmistakeable. Paddy's eyes met mine, and we both gaped and grinned.
Momo Cat, up on the barn roof, shouting to be let into the house. Home again, the bad cat!
And so our evening is complete, our family circle re-connected. We put the hound dogs to bed in the barn, and opened up the front door so Mo and Tim and Rosie could join us in the gloaming.
Beauty, it was.
The music ended on the box. The crickets took up the tune.
And now, upstairs, I can hear Patrick snoring. Down here by my feet, Tim snorts in his sleep, too.
My tooth hurts, yeah. But everything is so fine.
Even with a bad tooth, I have to say it: I live in the best place in all the world.

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Accidents, stopgaps, decisions made at the last minute three years ago, they all are cropping now, they are budding and flowering and bearing fruit. Literally.

This is the most wonderful time of the year for anyone mad enough to try growing flowers and food in the ground around them. It´s a ton of hard work and hassle, and the rewards are often not so great, or just nada. Good produce is very cheap here, sometimes it is free. I don´t know why I bother, but I do. This is why.

This year, for some reason, the skinny slices of dirt in the patio out front are booming, blooming with plants I expected to see, well... The same year I planted them. Three years ago, I planted poppy seeds out there, all different colors of California poppies, all over the place. Not a single one showed its head. Duds, I thought. (Meantime, wild poppies grow in great profusion by the acre, in the same kind of dirt, all over the region.) This year, in a big pot out front, a new plant put out lacy leaves and then little bright flags... bright yellow! Poppies!

Something similar is going on with the nasturtiums, flowers with pretty round leaves and edible flowers. I planted a gang of them last year, with nominal success. This year they zoomed back, and are popping up all over the place in long plumes and tails, fat saucers of bright green, and only a few flowers. They all are orange.

And the calendulas, too, are yellow and orange, and they are everywhere, front and back, tough as nails. I like these little guys because I got the first handful of seeds while out hiking in the mountains with my bud Kathy. We were in a mountain town called Boca de Huergano, on the Camino Vadiniense. I admired the flowers growing outside a trim little cottage, and the lady there broke off a couple of seed-pods and folded my fingers round them. "If they will grow here, they will grow anywhere," she said. And she is right. Three years later, they threaten to overrun the back yard. Which would be kind of pretty.

I wonder why, with all the multi-colored things I plant, they all come out orange or yellow. Which works perfectly in the red-tiled patio outside an ochre-colored house.

The flowerbeds are not just full of flowers. This year there are tomatoes growing in there, and an enormous eggplant (aubergine) covered in patent-leather fruits and purple velvet flowers. These were leftover seedlings, the ones that didn´t fit in the raised beds out back. They do a damn sight better out front, even with dogs walking and whizzing on them. Some visiting stoner disposed of a roach in the potted Pony Tail palm, and now there´s a marijuana tree in there that is taller than me. I did not plant it, I swear. There´s a grapevine out there, too. I never planted that, either, but it´s grown right up the trellis and is now heading west, over the wall. No sign of grapes, but what would I do with more fruit?

Out back the fig tree is loaded down, the apple tree this year has clusters of fat green fruit. Edu and Milagros, Pilar and Modesto all have given us buckets and baskets full of plums, damsons, cherries, cucumbers, chard, and courgettes (zuchinni). Three stalks of sweetcorn grew this year, and we ate the first cobs last week, raw. The tomato plants are in overdrive -- we are consuming gazpacho by the bucket (I asked Milagros for a single cucumber for a gazpacho, and I came away with three cukes and two courgettes). Tomorrow I make salsa. And plum tart. And a red-pepper quiche.

Sunday, 17 August 2014

I give up
one thing that doesn´t fit any more (like training hospitaleros) and
another, bigger, more interesting thing zooms right in to take its
place.

I came to
terms with the Depression. I agreed to sit still while the darkness lasted,
because maybe there is something down here for me to learn. Sitting still is
against all my upbringing. It is un-American. When anything is less-than
excellent, you get up and do something – anything! -- to make it better.
Even when doing something is really not the best idea.

So it is
hard for me, just sitting here.

But sitting
here, after a while, I start to see the big picture. The writing on the wall
stops being part of the décor and starts demanding translation.

With fewer
and fewer pilgrims stopping here, I don´t need to focus on accommodating them. I
have lost a lot of interest in things Santiago. I have answered the same
questions 100 times, and I´ve barked up the same trees at least as often to fix
the things that don´t work so well. And I realize maybe the Camino does not
need any fixing. It is exactly what it is. Pilgrims come and go, like they´ve
done for a thousand years. We´ll continue giving them a bed and a meal if they
need it. But what I achieve, or don´t achieve, camino-wise, means little or
nothing.

So I
decided to stop training people to be volunteer hospitaleros. I sent in a
resignation to the Canadian Confraternity and the Spanish federation a week
ago, and posted the news on www.caminodesantiago.me,
the forum where I am most present, camino-wise. Nary a ripple was seen on the
stream.

And a day
later, up from Moratinos jumped another fish to fry. It´s fiesta week, and the
town is heaving with friends and relations, come home to see granny and the
cousins in the old pueblo. Everyone is happy to see the new chestnut trees and
flowers blooming in the plaza, the cleaned-up streets, the fincas now for sale.
Both church bells rang for the Santo
Tomas procession, a jolly racket that echoed for miles across the fields and
made all the dogs howl out loud.

procession of Sto. Tomas Apostol

And so we struck.
A little group of us year-round residents rounded-up the visitors and founded a
new Cultural Association, aimed at preserving Moratinos´ memories, informing
outsiders of our little hidden treasures, and maybe shoring up our crumbling cultural
patrimony, which is made of adobe.

Response
was overwhelming. No fewer than 55 people put their names down, along with a
10-Euro note to get things started. Men and women, young and old, all of them
with some tie to this town, people determined – even though only 20 of us
actually live here all the time -- to
not let Moratinos die.

I was made
president. No one asked me. I was told.

I think it is
because everyone can talk to me. My uncle didn´t offend their cousin back in
1985, so I am OK. I am a goober, clueless to a lot of historical inter-familial
bullshit – when that comes up, I pretend to not understand. I work hard to keep
a civil relationship with everyone here.

Costume contest: the Asturian chickens

This, I
think, offers an opportunity to heal old wounds.

Only one
family told me No, this can´t work, that people need to go home and mind their
own business. They´ve been hurt in the past. I think they are just taking a “wait
and see” stance. Once they see how things progress, they may jump on board,
too. Because I feel pretty positive about this. And when I set out to make
something happen, it usually works.

I don´t
have to handle money. There´s a treasurer for that. No need to take notes,
because we have a secretary, too. Total transparency will be written into the
bylaws. I might have to mount a FaceBook page, and update it with photos and
copy – I can find someone to help me translate. Maybe this will improve my Spanish.
Maybe someone will step up and make a web page. There is a lot of talent here.

Talent is
cheap. Follow-through is what will make it really happen, once the initial
enthusiasm goes. I am as hard-headed as a Castilian. I can make this stick. I
just hope I do not step on too many peoples´ toes on the way.

this year´s winner: a Pirate Ship!

We are
starting out small. Tomorrow we will deposit all those ten-Euro bills in a new
bank account. We will file papers to make ourselves an official Asociacion
Cultural in Palencia province. (You can
join, too, and donate as much money as you like!)

We will
clarify our goals. We will settle on what to call ourselves. And then start doing.

I have
ideas, simple things we can execute with or without help from ministries or
government groups. A sad fact is, many people here wait around for the
government to improve things. They don´t
step up til they have a grant in hand, and grants don´t happen so much any
more. But we can build a signpost, an information station to tell visitors what
those caves are in the hillside, (bodegas), what those round buildings are in
the fields (dovecotes). We can organize ourselves enough to open the church,
open our bodegas, to show our children and our visitors that this is a rare
sight, a disappearing resource, a rustic
little gem to be treasured.

Small
things, simple things. If we can make that work, we can tackle larger projects.
Make the collapsed bodegas safe. Fix the uneven pavement in the plaza.
Rationalize the reams of mouldering historical documents into a small
archive. Label old photos. Collect old recipes and craftwork and stories from the
elderly, while they are still here.Things people say are impossible, or too
much, or beyond the reach of a small town and little people.

We are not
many, but we have a big reach. We are scattered all over Spain, and most of us
have some skill or another to offer. We love Moratinos. And we are only as
small as our expectations.

And here in the dark is something I believe in, something new worth working on.

Friday, 8 August 2014

It was only three days, supposed to be five. I only made it partway, and I should've stopped after the first day, but I kept on going. I thought it would get better, that I would get better.
I didn't. I got worse. It got bad, very quickly.
It was a really self-serving hike anyway. The day of the last blog post, the day we saw through the neighbors' house, was the day Momo Cat was last seen. Time went on, he didn't come back. Pad and I both started looking glumly at one another, started giving up hope. So I did a Spanish thing. I made a promesa to Santiago. Momo comes back okay, I will go to Valladolid on the train, and walk home, as a thanksgiving. I said it out loud, in front of witnesses (Paddy and the outside dogs). And once the neighbors came back for the weekend, Momo reappeared, shouting loud outside the back door, not a scratch on him. We think he somehow got inside their house while it was open, and was locked in all week when they left. Thank God they're coming back on weekends these days!
Thank God indeed.
You'd better start walking, Paddy said.
And on Monday, full of expectation, I took the 11.05 train to Valladolid with my backpack good to go for a short hike across the meseta on the Camino de Madrid.
In August.
I've been wanting to walk the Madrid for a long time. I was willing to do just the top bit, from Valladolid, just for a taste -- it is hard leaving Peaceable for longer than a few days, seeing as Paddy can't drive the car.
I should've taken the 7:30 a.m. train. Should have got an earlier start. In Valladolid I knew which bus to take up to Simancas, where the Camino Madrid passes through. I knew which bus, but I could not find a bus stop for it. I wandered the city for an hour and a half, from bus stop to bus stop, like an idiot. No one knew. I finally took a taxi. By the time I hit the trail it was 1 p.m. The sun by then was cranked up to 10.
Only seven kilometers to Ciguenela, an easy two hours.
In August, only mad dogs and Englishmen do that. And mountain-bike riders. Everyone with an ounce of sense stays in the shade with a cold drink.
I walked long and hard, I was thankful for each little breeze that blew up the lonesome country road. Roads out there are Kansas-quality dirt, mostly straight, angled around property lines. Towns hide behind hills, you can see the church tower for hours before you get close. If you've walked the big Camino Frances, you'll remember that long strip after Carrion de los Condes. This is something like that, but it goes on for days.
I fell into my long-distance stride. Heat shimmered up off miles of stubble.
About four kilometers in, I saw two figures on the road ahead, moving toward me. Bicycles. Two men, sweaty, weaving and laughing. Maybe heading home after a long, loaded lunch, I thought. As they came closer I realized they were not drunk. They were mad.
Their handlebars waggled because their bodies shuddered. Their faces were like clown masks, they greeted me with wild hilarity and a wave that almost took one of them over. I played it cool, smiled and waved back as they passed by -- I didn't want to give them a reason to stop.
They rolled past, up the hill I'd just come down, very slowly, out of sight.
I walked on. I heard my pulse rushing in my ears. I felt light-headed. Soon as I stopped walking, a headache started. And a cold. I met the only other walking pilgrim on the Camino Madrid, in the lovely albergue of Cigunuela. He was very happy to see me.
He had not seen two crazy guys on bikes, he said. I wondered if they were real.
His name was Luis, from Aranjuez. He was dark and slender, a runner. He worked in an auto-parts factory outside Madrid. I could not keep awake to chat. Later on, through a haze, I saw him soaking his feet, then putting himself to bed. He was beautiful.
In the middle of the night he woke me up. I was crying in my sleep, he said. He gave me some water.
I was sweating hard, but I felt cold. My head pounded. Only a couple of hours of sun had done that.
Luis was gone when I got up in the morning. He'd been doing 40 kilometer days, but his lightweight trainer shoes were shredding his feet.
The early-morning walk was superb. I said all my prayers. I saw rabbits and hares, sheep and shepherds and sheepdogs, a weasel, a kestrel, and a hoopoe. My nose ran, I snorted and coughed and hacked. I was glad to be alone. I still felt light-headed. I drank lots of water, wore sunscreen and a hat, I walked in the shade at every opportunity.
I saw Luis again in Penaflor de Hornija. He was slowing down. He'd see me in Castromonte, he said. I had trouble forming Spanish sentences. I drank two quick claras. (half draft beer, half 7-Up). I left Hornija just after 11, and the thermometer read 30 degrees. I went slow. A beautiful, medieval sunken lane, all dappled and dark, opened onto miles of endless wide-open blast furnace. An Allman Brothers song played an endless loop in my head. Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy on me.
Miles on I could see a line of scrubby oak trees. As I drew closer I saw some enterprising person had set up a piggery among them, and dozens of fine black swine browsed behind makeshift fences. Acorns. Black pigs. These were Spain's famous Bellota hams on the hoof. They were friendly, they nosed up to the fence to say hello. And in the next pen were mother pigs, and a vast number of wiggly, wormy black piglets. They squealed and swarmed and ran, ran, ran, full of energy and joy. The moms were pretty active, too, at least the ones not fenced inside numbered concrete bunkers.
Luis was there, snapping photos, grinning. It was impossible not to smile. We walked on, and on the right heard something crashing in the bushes next to the trail. Out burst a line of leaping piggies, escapees, playing chase through the woods. They saw us, screamed, and split up, some running up the trail ahead, others diving into the bushes. They kept us company for a half-mile more, the most joyous pigs I ever met. Maybe that's why the jamon is so tasty -- their lives may be short, but they have them some fun!
Me and Luis straggled into Castromonte in the heat of the day. It is a gorgeous albergue. We did not see much of it. We slept. We walked into town and banged on the butcher's door til he opened up and sold us some food. We saw inside the church, with its images of 25 saints -- they take them all out for a parade every year, the Saturday before Pentecost. Beautiful adobe houses, leaning every which way, plaques marking birthplaces of forgotten fascists.
We ate simply -- pan-fried pork loin and cheese on bread. Olives. Plums from the tree outside. The scrap-end of a chocolate bar.
Luis made me a "isotonic cocktail" with energy drink and powdered minerals. I repaired his blistered feet as well as I could, with the minimal first-aid supplies I had. Tomorrow, Medina de Rioseco, I told him. There's a health center there. They can give you a proper bandage job.
There's a bus station there, too, he said. I can pick up there next year, walk on.
He'd made a promesa, he said. His mom, last year, a cancer scare. She's fine now. And so now he has a promise to keep, even if it takes him three years of holiday time to get to Santiago. (I did not tell him about my promesa.)
We both were asleep before the sun went down. A man painted a wall outside. The roller went shush-shush-shush.
I said goodbye to Luis in the morning. I did not see him again.
It was another beautiful morning.
I do not remember it very well, but I liked it at the time.
At Medina de Rioseco I toured the churches of Santiago and Santa Maria -- the equal of any tourist attraction in Spain, and pretty much unknown outside this region. I had a horchata (an Arabic almond milkshake, cold and wonderful) at a bakery/bar run by a jolly family, but I couldn't taste anything. I enjoyed that beautiful little Castilian town -- it is known territory, a place I have always liked. But I do not remember it clearly.
I stayed at a hotel. I took a bath with salt, I drank a lot of Luis's isotonic cocktails.
I came home the next morning on the earliest bus. I thought I might try walking if I felt better, but I had the shakes in the night.
Defeated by the sun, smitten, I am taking my time getting back my energy.
Paddy is being kind and patient. We've had few pilgrims, and none since my return, and that's probably good. I am not fit company.
Momo cat slinks about, utterly ungrateful. I didn't exactly fulfill my promise, but he is only a cat.
Do not let me walk in August any more.

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

I have lived only yards away for eight years, but I had
never been inside the house next door.Castilians mind their own business. They meet one another in bars or in
the plaza, but almost never in each other’s homes.

Besides, there was hardly ever anybody home.

The place next door hasn’t really been a home for about 30 years, at least. Old Francisco raised his family here, but the kids grew up and
moved elsewhere. When Francisco’s daughter married, he went to live with her in the city. (It is a daughter’s duty to
care for aging parents.) On holidays and sunny weekends we sometimes saw
Francisco out in the driveway in his folding chair, watching the grain waving
in the field over the road. He was small and stooped, but his eyes were
bright and friendly. He told me once about serving in the civil war, that his
military picture was on display at the ayuntamiento.

Years passed, and Francisco stopped coming along when his
daughter’s family visited town. The old man died this spring at the care home
in Villada. His four children inherited the house next door. They agreed among
themselves that none of them wants to keep the old place.

And so it is for sale. And so people like me, accompanied by
others who might be interested in buying, can now see what’s inside the walls
I walk past every day. And so on Sunday, when the daughter came to town, she
showed me:

the patio

A patio paved in amateur concrete, streaked with rust and
adobe. There’s a grey paisley wainscot of rising damp along two sides, and
greenery is restricted to two neglected flower beds. It could be a lovely
little patio. It may once have been, before sheep and cattle trumped hyacinths
and hollyhocks.

A baking and roasting room, with two black-mouthed ovens
built into the wall: one for bread, and one for roasting meat.

An indoor well, a tiny room where the water comes in, a
luxury in its time.There’s a new water
line and sewer line, too, installed a while back when Moratinos put in
municipal systems.Everything works
okay, the lady said. They’re only here on the weekends in summer, and for the
fiesta in August. They haven’t done much work on it, because it’s not really
theirs.﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿

The bathroom is windowless. Tiles, shiny, floor to ceiling,
a pattern repeated over and over. A tiny tub, set up for showers. A
pull-the-chain toilet. A derelict washing machine. A naked lightbulb overhead
casting 40 Watts of gloom.

Next little room in line, up three steps, the table is set
for six. On a sofa pushed against the wall the little grandson naps. Fairies
dance on the silent TV screen.Up two
more steps into an empty bedroom, cool and blue. The window looks out onto
another patio, green and overgrown.There’s a closet in this one, the lady says. Inside hangs a mop with a
shriveled head.

We follow her down the steps, we turn a corner, and we’re in
a sunny entry hall. Dark blue double doors open onto the sun-blasted patio;
sunlight bleaches the throw rugs. It is airy there. Hydraulic tiles
on the floors, moderno, very chic nowadays in New York and Barcelona. Four
little bedrooms, low ceilings, small windows to keep out the cold in winter – they open
onto the sunny hallway, onto another dining room, a formal room with a
1930s-era wedding photo on the wall.

Across the patio and through a gate is another labyrinth,
this one for animals.Here is room for
cattle, a mule, foals, chickens, rabbits, pigeons, tractors, wagons, hay and
seed-corn. The stalls look out on a
little corral, space for another nice patio, perhaps. The walls are adobe
brick, stacked and sagging, with elegant interlace of timbers, sticks, mud and
tiles that make up the roofs.

And there’s the rub. This is not a large finca, but a
massive amount of it is under roofs. And the roofs, neglected for decades, are
failing. The timbers are riven with woodworm, walls and beams are jacked-up and
coated with dove droppings. It is dusty and dark and well beyond
redemption.

This finca, and thousands of others just like it in hundreds
of towns in Castilla y Leon. For hundreds of years they sheltered farmers
and carpenters, mule-drivers and wicker-weavers, but now that dark, grubby
world is gone.

The family’s moved away, the space is useless, the
maintenance and preservation too expensive. No one wants to live out here. No
one wants to live in small rooms, heated by straw burning slowly in a tunnel underfoot. No
one needs old fincas any more, and so they stand abandoned. They sag and leak
until they collapse, and eventually the rain washes them away.

Unless a fool like me happens along.

The Peaceable was much like the house next door when we
found it – just a bit smaller and less elaborate. We had to pull down the beams
and ceilings, open little rooms into bigger ones, demolish the back barn, plumb
and re-wire, put in windows, doors, a kitchen, floors, heating, roofs. It was a
tremendous undertaking, expensive and frustrating and probably the biggest risk
I’ve ever taken.It turned out pretty
nice in the end.

It can be done. They are asking 72,000 Euro for the house
next door. You can live in a camino village, or come here in summer, or rent it
out to other camino dreamers. You can fix it up to whatever standard you like…
you could bring your dog, your donkey, there’s lots of room for them. The place
even comes with a bodega cave, albeit a broken one. Right next door to
ours.

And we will be here with all kinds of hard-earned advice and
references, ready to remind you that Yes, it can be done, and yes, you really
are insane to take on a great charming money pit in a tiny pueblo at the back end
of the universe.

But this is Moratinos. Where the Big Fun is. If you can stand the dog racket from the place next door, come and be our neighbour.

Feed A Pilgrim Today!

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About Me

Rebekah Scott, an erstwhile USA newspaper journalist, pulled up stakes in June 2006 and moved with Paddy, her wise-ass English husband to The Peaceable Kingdom, a farmhouse in Moratinos, a rural pueblo in Palencia, Spain. Moratinos is on the Camino de Santiago, an ancient pilgrimage route now popular with hikers and bikers and riders of all beliefs and stripes and types, and The Peaceable is a stopping-place for these wanderers. This is an account of their adventures.