No Theory Only Experiences and Thoughts

I found Johnson's story interesting, so I thought I'd add mine. I'll relate my experiences first, and then some thoughts.

I started masturbating around 11 or 12. At more or less the same time I discovered that soaping up and stroking my penis in the bath, laying on my stomach and thrusting against the bed, or pushing my penis in and out between my thighs felt great, so one or more of these activities became a daily ritual. More like an obsession, actually. Material for another story, I think.

I had only one mutual, or more accurately, simultaneous, jack-off session as a teenager with a friend when I was 12 or 13. This friend and I had previously looked at Playboy together at his or my house, and he and I and a couple of other kids who were friends of his but who I didn't really like much swapped around a few 'stroke books' (Emmanuelle, and some other stuff I don't remember.) We were up in my room after school and he asked me if I had any Playboys, which of course, I did. So I brought them out and we started looking at them and then he asked if I wanted to masturbate. I honestly hadn't thought of doing it with anyone else before, but the idea was kind of interesting, so I agreed. I remember I didn't feel any attraction to him, but was just curious to see him masturbate. We both took off our clothes and sat on the floor with our penises already erect. I quickly noticed that despite the fact that we were the same age, height and weight, more or less, my penis was a good deal larger than his, and he hadn't developed much if any, pubic hear. I asked him if he wanted to use some hand lotion, which I went and brought back from the bathroom. I squirted some into his hand, then into mine, and then we both just started masturbating. Neither of us said anything but we were alternately watching each other and ourselves. It took us both a couple of minutes to get into it, but then I remember that for awhile we were both at that thoroughly excited stage, but not ready to orgasm yet, and we were stroking away, breathing hard, and smiling at each other. That brief period was really fun. I didn't try to prolong my pleasure at that point; I was still pretty inexperienced, so as soon as I felt myself getting ready to orgasm, I told him I was going to 'cum' and laid down on my back (we had been sitting face-to-face) and had my orgasm, cumming all over my hands and stomach. I stayed on my back and relaxed in the afterglow, as my friend kept masturbating. I sat up and he was still going at it and I watched him intently until he came a couple of minutes later. I wasn't sure, but I think he was still having dry orgasms, or just a little bit of clear fluid coming out. He clearly enjoyed it, though. He got up and started getting dressed without saying anything about what we'd just done, so I wiped myself off and did the same. We went outside and he said he was going to go home. The next day at school, he acted like nothing had happened and seemed pretty much the same as always. I did notice a couple of times in the next month or so, that he and one of his friends had traded some Playboys, and I got the distinct feeling, though he never said anything, and I never asked, that the two of them were jacking-off together.

I didn't really think much one way or the other about jacking off with my friend. It hadn't been particularly exciting, except for that one point when we were both really into it at the same time. I also thought he was a little uncomfortable because I was more developed than he was. And I didn't have any sort of attraction to him. So I didn't have any desire to do it again, and neither of us ever brought it up. Our friendship didn't seem to have changed any as a result of our experience, and we hung out as usual until we entered different high schools.

I guess I should mention that my friend and I were both Catholic, and had been told how masturbation was a sin by the Brother(?) who taught our Catechism class. More alarmingly, I remember now that some time after we'd masturbated that one time, we were over at his house in his room doing nothing even remotely sexual, and his mom suddenly came in and gave us a quick stern little lecture on how it was wrong to masturbate and very wrong to touch another boy, and then just left! After she'd gone I looked at my friend and he started saying he'd never told her. I believd him, but she scared the hell of me. Not because I thought I'd done anthing wrong, but because I really didn't want her telling my parents what we'd done.

I also was once masturbated by a friend when I was a young teenager, which turned out to be a good and bad experience. During the following summer, I was 13 I'm pretty sure, another friend and I were up in my room. He was the son of a local pastor, so he was the last person on earth I would ever have thought to ask to masturbate with me. I wasn't even sure if he did masturbate, or what he might think about it. And anyway, I didn't have any interest in seeing him nude or masturbating with him, anyway, so it wasn't an issue.

But, he asked if I had any magazines, and then wanted to look at them when I said I did. So I got some out and we looked at them on my bed for awhile and I, of course, got kind of turned on. I still didn't have any desire to get naked and masturbate with my friend, though. So I just sat there with my erection, and he with his, I noticed. He asked me if I masturbated when I looked at them. I told him yes. Then he asked if I'd done that with another boy. I said I had, once, but that I probably shouldn't say who. He said that was OK. Then he said he really didn't feel comfortable doing that together, with me. It was very odd. I couldn't tell if he was apologizing, or making sure I understood that he wasn't into doing 'that,' like it was something gross, sinful. I guess it was certainly the latter, by the standards of our religious educations. Then again, so were the Playboys. I didn't have any desire to masturbate in front of him or watch him masturbate, so I said that it was OK, I wasn't planning on masturbating. He said I could go ahead and do it, if I wanted and that he could leave until I was done. I said, no, I didn't need to do it now. He was silent for a little while, then very quietly asked if I wanted him to masturbate me. I remember that's exactly what he asked 'Do you want me to masturbate you?' I was totally surprised. I hadn't had any desire to do anything with him, but he was offering to touch me. No no one else had ever done that; all my orgasms had been self-induced up until then. I wondered what his hands would feel like. He seemed hesitant and unsure too, and I didn't know what to do, and felt awkward, so I tried to graciously decline, but I don't think I was very convincing. I'd said something like 'you don't have to do that...,' but he said that if I wanted him to, he would. I felt a little strange, like something was wrong about the whole situation, but lust won out, and I said, OK.

I went to the bathroom and got the lotion, then took off my shorts and underwear and lay down on the bed. I was already hard and he sat down next to me and squirted lotion in his right hand, grabbed the bottom of my erection with his left and began to slowly pump me with his fist. I couldn't keep my eyes off his hand moving on me. He kept a slow steady pace, and I quickly got excited. Having his hand on me, although he didn't do it the way I liked best-the way I would do myself, felt so good I was really liking it anyway. I told him it felt really good. He didn't say anything. I noticed he wasn't even looking at me. He was looking off toward the wall, but his eyes were closed. I really thought something was odd, but I couldn't help myself from getting more worked up and I started pumping up into his hand. He tightened his grip and pushed me down with his left hand, and began pumping me faster with his right and I quickly reached orgasm. He didn't slow down and I thrust into his hand desperately. But I was kind of embarrassed that what he'd done felt so good. He was still looking away from us, not watching what he was doing, while I was in ecstasy in his hands and that made me feel even more awkward. He kept pumping me even after my orgasm was done and I had stopped my own thrusting, and it suddenly started to not feel so good. I had to tell him he could stop. He let go of me, and just sat there with his hands held out in front of him all slimy with the lotion and my semen, and I realized he didn't look very happy. I sat up and asked him if he was OK, and told him it had felt really great. He didn't answer, but just asked me to get him a towel, and I went and got wet washcloths so we could clean up. We sat on the bed and wiped ourselves clean and he said he was glad I'd liked it, but then said he really didn't want to do it again. I knew something wasn't right by now, and told him that, of course, he didn't have to do it again. Then I said that, if he wanted me to do it to him, I would, but that if he didn't want to, that was ok too. He said he didn't know. So we were sitting there on my bed, me still naked from the waist down, wondering if he is going to want me to give him an orgasm, too, and we hear my mother's car pulling in the driveway. I frantically got my clothes on and got the lotion and washcloths put away. Fortunatley, she didn't come upstairs and a few minutes later we came down, and went into the basement to play video games.

The next couple of times I saw my friend, I tried to put him at ease, and to ask him what was going on. I don't know, maybe it was just confusion of wanting to do something with another boy, and not wanting to, or not wanting to sin, or whatever. He didn't want to talk about it, and would change the subject. But he still wanted to be my friend, he said. Well, I wanted to be his friend too, and I didn't really care about masturbating together again, so I dropped it. We saw each other a few more times that summer, and I kept my mouth shut about the masturbation thing, but it, or his obvious discomfort about it was still there, in the background, I thought. In the fall we were at different highschools, and I think I only saw him one more time that year, and the we lost touch. After all was said and done, I felt pretty bad about him masturbating me, because there was clearly something really bothering him, and I felt like I'd maybe taken advantage of him, or somehow, done something wrong. The fact that I'd really enjoyed the being masturbated part made me feel ashamed.

I had a friend with whom I really wanted to masturbate, but never did. That fall, I'd turned 14 and was a freshman in highschool, and I had a pretty good friend from my neighborhood, who was about a year younger than me. He was a slightly built blonde kid who was by everyone's account, very good looking. Many girls had crushes on him. I was a geek, with no girlfriend, pretty much always horny, and masturbating daily. One afternnon, we were in my room, goofing off doing something. I don't remember now if I'd thought of this before that day, or it just came up that day, but that afternoon I really wanted to see him naked and masturbate with him. Looking back on it now, I realize he was the only boy I felt any attraction to as a teenager. It wasn't a big deal at the time and wasn't a basis for our friendship, we'd known each for several years, but I did have a definite sexual desire for him at that point. I never had any questions about whether I was straight. Then, and now, I think it was mostly a matter of adolescent hormones, and not having any sexual contact with girls rather than a preference for boys, or for him in particular. Maybe it was just because he was attractive, I didn't have any objection to doing something with him. My two other friends with whom I'd masturbated I had no desire for sexually. Also, unlike my other friends, who I'd seen naked many times in the gym shower, I'd never seen C. without his clothes on.

I certainly would rather have seen naked several girls from school. But he and I were there, that afternoon so... Another thing I'm sure that kept me from being uncomfortable about what I wanted to do was having read over the summer just about every book on sex in the public library. From that, I learned (whether or not it was, in fact, true, may be open to debate)that both boys and girls often had some sort of sexual experiences with friends of the same sex at our age. I asked him if he wanted to look at some Playboys. He said OK. So we sat on my bed and looked at the magazine and talked about the different women, who we liked, and why. After awhile, we finished with the magazines and hadn't decided on what to do next. I knew what I wanted to do. I asked him if he wanted to masturbate. He said pretty firmly, no. I was disappointed and embarrased. But he didn't seem bothered by my asking, and we went off to doing something else, I can't remember what. But the event must not have had any real effect on our friendship, because things stayed pretty much the same.

For the rest of my highschool years, I masturbated alone. Every orgasm of mine, in fact, was self induced, in private (or at least, somewhere where I was not, I hoped, observed; perhaps another story there.) I did, on several occasions, have the opportunity to masturbate with other boys, but for one reason or another, never did. The first was one afternoon when I was in a friend's dorm room (I was in a private school) and we'd been talking on his bed, and were laying there, and he asked if I wanted to jerk-off. I was a little surprised, but wasn't offended. But I wasn't interested either. I just didn't have any desire to jack-off, or do anything else, with him. So I just said no thanks, and he seemed to take it in stride. We were friends all through school, and that incident never seemed to have any effect.

Another time, the summer when I was 16, I ran into a younger friend from the neighborhood at a stream in the woods where many of us would often fish, wander around, etc. He was with another kid from a couple streets over who I knew slightly and I think, three of his cousins, or a cousin and his friends. They were all between 13 and 15. Everybody seemed a little surprised when I showed up (it was one of those sort of out-of-the-way spots we'd go for some privacy). When my friend told them I was 'ok,' I found out why: two of the guys I didn't know were masturbating while the others were, for the moment, watching. I tried to be 'cool' about the whole thing, I had (by myself, though) masturbated there several times. The two kids who I'd interrupted lay back and pulled their pants back down and resumed doing what they'd been doing before I showed up, surprising the hell out of me, and giving me an erection. I tried not to watch. With only limited success. My friend and the other, older kid I didn't know both asked me if I wanted to join them. I declined. I didn't have any objection to what they were doing, but I didn't want to masturbate with my friend and the other kid I knew. They were too young, and I knew their parents, and they sort of looked up to me. As for the other kids, I didn't know them at all, and just jerking off with some guys I didn't know was way too odd for me. The fifteen year old was kind of disappointed, I think, because the two youngest kids had paired up and gone a little ways off to do their thing, and he was either on his own or with the other two kids. He said that my friend and his friend were too young, too, which made me relieved. He and I were talking while the other two kids were just a few yards away, masturbating. The two younger kids were masturbating together, or each other, out of our sight. I remember thinking how bizarre the whole thing was. So we talked for a couple of minutes as I tried to make a graceful exit. I got up and headed down the little trail through the brush with my erection, thinking about all of them masturbating together back there.

The next time an opportunity came up, there were five of us in one friend's dorm room one afternnon after finishing the days preparations for graduation, all looking at Penthouse magazines. A couple guys, the roommates, on their beds, the rest of us in chairs. We'd all been reading for awhile when I looked up and noticed my friend in the top bunk had pulled the sheet up and one arm was under it. Though you couldn't even see movement, I was pretty sure he was masturbating. I think everyone else knew what was up, too. I had an erection, which was making a buldge down my leg, no doubt obvious to my friends. I was tempted to say something, or just start masturbating. But I thought just hauling it out would be way out of line. A few minutes passed and our friend in the top bunk although doing his best, couldn't really hide his excitement. I think we all tried not to look when we heard his breathing get heavier and a little gasp shortly afterwards. My friend R. and I were smiling, and S. was clearly trying not to laugh, so I don't think anyone minded. At least he'd been sublte about it. But no one said anything and we just kept reading our mags as our friend straightened himself up, and we hung out until we had to be at another practice shortly afterwards. We all left and no one said anything about it, as if having your friend jerking-off with a bunch of you in the same room was just an everyday thing.

So from the time I was 12 through my graduation from highschool, and some time after that, I had two experiences masturbating with friends of mine, the one rejected request to masturbate together, and the three opportunities not taken to masturbate with others. I know I would have liked to have masturbated and maybe more with my friend who turned me down, but other than that instance, and that friend, I never had any desire to do anything with another guy. All through junior highschool and then in highschool, I saw plenty of my classmates naked in the showers, or changing at the pool, etc., and never felt turned on by them. I had several friends in highschool, and didn't have any interest in masturbating with them, nor did they have any interest in doing so with me, as far as I knew. I'm sure we all masturbated on our own, and I did wonder whether some of them did it as much as I did, or were as enthusiastic as I was about it, but we never really talked about. For example, the five of us in the dorm room never even discussed our friend doing himself right in front of us, whether it was out of embarrassment, or because it was just not worthy of comment, I don't know. Probably a little of both.

Being masturbated by my friend was, for the few minutes it lasted, very pleasurable. But for the reasons I went into, it was ultimately, not a good experience. I don't know if this soured me on the whole idea of masturbating with a friend, but I don't think so. There was nothing unpleasant about him touching me, that's for sure. It was his obvious discomfort, and the fact that we left things unfinished, that made it so awkward.

This is getting pretty long, so I'll post some stuff about the years after highschool in another story.