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Today marks the end of an era. I cancelled my home phone service. I no longer have a landline. I know, I know, I’m late to the party. For some inexplicable reason, I didn’t want to let go of it after twenty-four years.

Some of you will also remember that I held on to my 35mm camera and Rochester’s precious Kodak film longer than anyone else too. Hey, despite the duct tape holding the battery thingy together, that camera took awesome pictures.

But what’s most upsetting is that all of the phone numbers I have memorized are no longer in service. I have an entire address book in my head that is obsolete. Names, addresses, and phone numbers, all useless, outdated information.

The numbers I call now are based on my cell phone being functional and dependable. If my cell phone dies, I’m screwed.

Wow! I just realized that I don’t even know my parents’ new phone numbers. I should probably try to commit those to memory. I have to wonder, if their pictures didn’t pop up on my phone, would I answer? Now, that’s a sad state of affairs!

Believe it or not, I still have a slimline phone and a rotary phone in my garage. They work when the power goes out and the hand-held portable phones don’t. I guess I can sell those at a garage sale in the future.

So why get rid of the landline now?

Because the only calls I receive these days are those stupid scam calls from heavily-accented people claiming the IRS is after me or from scammers wanting money for charities that don’t exist. One day this week, I received four of the IRS calls in a three-hour period.

Truth be told, I haven’t answered my home phone in ages. I always let it go to voicemail. But I was so fed up with the scammers, I unplugged my phone from the wall. That’s when I decided that I might as well get rid of it. It’s not as if AT&T was providing phone service for free.

I better go try to memorize my parents’ numbers. Maybe I’ll use the old rotary phone to practice. That’s how I memorized every other number I know.

Oh wait, there is one number I remember that might still be good. It’s 867-5309. And it belongs to some girl named Jenny.