The Daily Wrap: August 29th

The best part about Thursday is that it’s no longer Wednesday. Unless maybe you wife left you on a Thursday, and then it still stinks. Anyway, here’s the news!

Wal Mart Bag or Killer?

A man is suing Wal Mart for causing his wife’s death with an overstuffed bag. How does an overstuffed bag lead to death? It’s a weird and sad little tale – Lynette Freis bought two 42-ounce cans of La Choy and a 2lb bag of rice. The cashier at Wal Mart put it all in a single bag.

On the way to the car, the bag broke and one of the cans fell on Freis’ foot. It cut her toe. That lead to an infection and that infection, despite medical treatment, eventually killed her. And now her husband is suing and you have one more reason to not shop at Wal Mart.

The Arrow of Justice (and Weed)

So contraband in prisons has always been an issue, but do you ever wonder how they get so much stuff if guests are searched? Maybe this is how! A man shot an arrow at the Whatcom County jail that was strapped with marijuana and a mystery substance, destined for the recreation area. He missed. Instead the arrow landed on the roof where a guard noticed it.

An employee had also seen the shooter get out of his car and take the shot, so he copied down Robin Hood’s license plate number and police picked him up later. His explanation was that he was hunting squirrels which probably even he couldn’t say without shaking his head in disbelief.

Domestic Violence Now Illegal in Saudi Arabia

On the one hand you almost want to make fun of a country for waiting until 2013 to decide beating the crap out of someone is a crime, but on the other hand, a least it is a crime now. Saudi Arabia just made domestic violence a crime and has set up an infrastructure of abuse shelters as well as put out a call to action that any person anywhere who knows of domestic violence occurring needs to repot it to the police.

Before today, domestic abuse was considered a private matter, the kind of thing you work out in the home, which w think means the husband kept beating his wife and she took it. At least they’re trying now.

Mike Tyson: In a Bad Place

Mike Tyson recently admitted to battling an alcohol addiction and wants to get his life back on track before he dies from it.

Tyson wants to start a career as a boxing promoter but took the opportunity to let everyone know he also has a serious problem with drinking and relapsing seems to send him into a spiral of suicidal thoughts. For a lot of people this probably isn’t a big deal as Tyson has engendered more than his fair share of hate over the years for his behavior in and out of the ring, though it seems like now he’s at least trying to make amends.

For the great boxer he was once, hopefully he can become a better person.

Vulgar Cheerleaders

Because we like you, here’s a story about cheerleaders and their obscene uniforms. A school district in Florida has banned its own cheerleaders from showing up at school in their actual cheerleading uniforms because the uniforms are too vulgar. Of course this story is from Florida and of course no one on the school board found this to be epically stupid because if they did, they wouldn’t be politicians in Florida.

Even Yahoo Sports seems to think the ban has legitimacy because of how the skirts are shorter than the dress code allows, but it seems like no one is mentioning that the school provides the uniforms in the first place, it’s not like cheerleaders make them at home.

Kim Jong Un's Ex Killed by Firing Squad

Kim Jong-Un, super crazy leader of Noth Korea, has had one of his ex-girlfriend's shot with a dozen others for violating anti-pornography laws. First, you can get shot for porn in North Korea? Egads. Second, Kim Jong-Un had a girlfriend? This story is multiple layers of madness.

The execution was carried out with amachine gun while family members were forced to watch, because, as we said, layers of madness.

Hyon Song-wol was famous for a string of patriotic songs but had apparently filmed herself having sex and then sold the tapes which is something North Korea won't tolerate, along with happiness, propserity or the outside world.