The Pitfalls of San Andreas Pt. II

A GTANet.com Original Presentation

After the warm reception I received from doing my first article
on the network, I decided there was only one logical path to take in
writing my follow-up article... write part two and piss off more fan boys!

Some people in the community have accused me
of being negative towards the franchise that we all know and love so
very much. While you might get that impression off reading Pt. I
of my article, I must object. I've been a loyal fan of the series, dare
I say, before most of you even knew what the acronym GTA stood for. The
first installment I played was the now aging "Grand Theft Auto", the
original in all of its lo-res top-down glory. It's hard not to
reminisce awhile on that pre-pubescent young Canofceleri, sitting on the
guest bed, eyes glued to the 2D action going on in front of him, while
my now historic PlayStation console spun the disc around no faster than
little Cand was eager to take it all in. But... I'll refrain from all of
that and get back on course.

Now I'm 17 and a senior in high school. I am now (thankfully, very)
pubescent and the original GTA is no longer at the top of my most
played games list. Like what will happen when more than half a decade
passes, we've all moved onto bigger and better things and Rockstar
Games is now going to bestow onto us their third take on the gritty 3D
world of Grand Theft Auto with "San Andreas" this fall. But instead of
rambling on about how great it will be like all the magazines, fan
sites (this one does too, just not in this article), Dan Houser, and
your grandmother too... I'm here to shed light on the other half of the
story, which you may or may not want to hear. But if you want fair and
balanced (did I just use a news network slogan?) then read on,
grasshopper... we're in the heat of summer and the darker, crisper side
of the grass is just down that way.

Set the stage for Carl Johnson, the fierce native to Los Santos and
to the impoverished streets of the Orange Grove part of town. He's no
stranger to gang violence and thug-bumpin' either. The setting is a
seedy looking tenement located in the city's south side. Carl is about
to bust down the door of a true OG, a member of the Ballas. This is a
scene of revenge, the Ballas OG clipped Sweet Johnson during a drive by
on enemy turf and Carl is knocking on doors for compensation in the
form of blood.

"Aiyo, muthaf*cka!" CJ shouted, he ran over the busted down door, but it was only a speed bump that heightened his anger and vehemence.

CJ gritted his teeth in fury, his jaws about to shatter with emotion, "Homie,
your ass would be grass right now if I wasn't starving! Jam on! Come
with me to Burger Shot and we'll talk over this gang sh*t and stuff
over a royale with cheese, homie."

San Andreas... where gats and thugs make way for happy meals and the
Hamburglar. I admit it, even I was excited at hearing our character now
would eat, and if he spent too many dimes at places like the Burger
Shot or Cluckin' Bell he'd even get fat! Making things even more
interesting, his physical state would effect actual gameplay and the
imbalance would sway his total percent body fat either in the positive
or in the negative.

San Andreas... where gats and thugs make way for happy meals and the Hamburglar...

Me? I don't mind it a bit, but this is bigger than just me. I'm
reporting on some major concerns that much of the community has. What
if, just what if, the above bit of fiction that I had to offer was
really not that far off from an actual in-game scenario. And don't put
it past Rockstar, they are after all the same people who had you
chasing a van so that you could pick up its dropped contents, that
being pornographic magazines which feature donkeys.

The fact is that the majority do not want it to become a bothersome
gameplay device. While a crime game that could be compared with EA
smash PC game "The Sims" would be cool in theory, most fans don't want
to have a virtual mini-me to upkeep with. And the thought of having to
stop in the middle of a high-octane revenge mission to stop for some
fries and a shake is all too close to reality for comfort.

But in the end...

In the end, against allegations that my articles are negative... there
isn't much to be negative about is there? In both installments of my
Pitfall series we've only discussed four topics. Which isn't much when
you put it up against what Rockstar will deliver to us this fall... and
lets face it -- Rockstar always delivers and in droves.