jeudi 4 septembre 2014

Animals that don't Exist

The Dickhead

The dickhead, Capita
penis, is one of the more
obscure life-forms found on our planet today. Of unknown origin, it
is the sole representative of its family known to date.

As
its name suggests, the dickhead is tube-shaped, its “head” having
the form of a chestnut. It has several nerve ganglions along the
ventral part of its body, which suggests it might be distantly
related to insects and the Annelida, although genetic analysis put it
closer to the Chordata. As of today, its evolutionary history remains
shrouded in mystery, and there is some speculation that the dickhead
might well be the missing link between vertebrates and arthropodes.

As
its form suggests, the dickhead moves like an earthworm, wiggling
forward or backward by contracting its muscles, and then relaxing
them. It preys mainly on small specimens of the Annelida, such as
young earthworms or nematodes. It eats by ingesting prey through its
frontal opening. Its digestive tube runs in a U-shape through its
body, and the same opening is later used for excretion. However, the
most interesting aspect of the dickhead
is its reproductive mechanism.

When
encountering a mate, dickheads cover their whole body in a slimy,
whitish secretion. This secretion contains not only the sperm cells,
but egg cells as well. The two dickheads will then rub against each
other. If the genes of their immune
system (the
immune system
is one of the aspects of genetic code which shows the most
variability) are differentiated enough, the antibodies found in both
secretion will lock onto each other, and the dickheads will be able
to shed off the secretion, which will serve as nutrition for the
fecundated eggs. If not, the eggs will still be fecundated, but
without the nutritious secretion, their chances of survival are
extremely low.

Dickheads
have historically been ignored in most cultures where they were
present, b it only because
their semi-aquatic, subterranean lifestyle made them a rare sight.
However, in recent times, the animal has become rather prominent in
western countries, and it seems that it now has a cult following that
sees it as the pinnacle of modern evolution. In evolutionary terms,
of course, this statement is not valid, since the dickhead has been
found in the fossil record for more than 300 million years.