Off the record and very hush-hush.

Abstinence Only?

Since the "moral majority" seems to think that Abstinence Only programs are the ways to educate our teens about sex, I thought we'd imagine what it would be like to adopt that approach to all areas of education.

Math - Suggested lecture talking points:

"Ok kids, you see sometimes two or more numbers get together and interact and they create another number that God blessed them with. These numbers should never be used to determine how much money your government steals from you, nor should they be used to determine how much tax revenue would be created by taxing churches."

"Positive numbers and negative numbers do not have the right to be joined together because anytime a negative and a positive multiply, only a negative can be created."

"If you start experimenting with numbers, it can only lead to division and remainders"

Science - Subject since deemed unnecessary. All one needs to know about science can be learned from the bible. Like that the Earth is 5000 years old, and dinosaurs are a myth.

History - Suggested lecture talking points:

"Sometimes you have a country over here and a country over there, and they get together and try to screw the other one. Ask your parents which one is god-fearing christian and which one is full of godless sodomites, so you know which side to take."

English - Suggested lecture talking points:

"A long time ago there was just the english language and then all the other languages mixed and then God punished them. That's why you should only speak english, and anyone speaking another language is probably a godless sodomite."

Physical Education

"All life is precious...except the fat kid in dodgeball. Kill him. Join the Army!"