How To Stop Looking For Soulmates & Love In The Wrong Places

Sitting on an invisible chair, longing to be called to that magical place known as love.

I am not talking about a love that makes us feel nice for a few months. I am talking about a love that is home. Love that sparks a golden light in your soul. A love that has no etiquette, walls, or judgements. It just is what it is—we cannot describe it until we are there, basking in the glow.

Why are we waiting? Because someone in this world has been searching their entire lifetime for us. Isn’t that a beautiful feeling? To know that for as much as we long for our soulmate, he or she is also out there aching just as intensely for us as well?

To one day roll over and wake up to messy hair, bad breath, and eye crusts and not even notice, not even see anything but the golden light of our souls.

We have all been lost before: in a mall or a carpark or an airport, searching for someone we can’t find. Yet as we both frantically look, we find ourselves moving further apart.

The point is to give up the search. Longing is natural, of course, but to detach from the outcome—to stop—will lead that true love right to our doors.

That love from a soulmate is coming.

Many of us have been waiting a lifetime, but trust me, dear ones, it is so close you can reach out and touch it. One day, we will be sitting in a park or buying a book, and there they will be. They too will be detached from any outcome, because this is just where you both have to be—together.

Forget Tinder, bars, and festivals—these are just brief flings of ecstatic existence to get us over the hump of sadness.

The true love we are seeking comes when we least expect it. Like on some random rainy Sunday, in a laundromat, wearing mismatched pajamas, trying to get a burrito stain out of your last half decent white T-shirt.

Or when you are so distracted by the petty dramas in your life, but you look up and suddenly see they have been there, waiting for you to notice that they have arrived. “Oh, hi! Nice to meet you, my soulmate.”

When it comes, try not to be afraid. Don’t run and hide and push them away because the fear and reality of the situation is too much, too hard to believe, after all of this time seeking, longing, and aching.

Detach from any fantasies of what may be, or what could have been, or why not sooner. Savor each moment with your “one.” Feel the wholeness and the knowing that you are enough, just the way you are.

The soul does not see makeup or expensive cars or job status. The soul does not know about age gaps or hair color or body size. The soul only sees “the one“—a perfect match, that one piece of a puzzle that has been lost at the back of a couch for months, years, maybe decades.

When you find this puzzle piece, do not listen to others judge, gossip, or object. Ignore their opinions about it not being the right fit for you. All that is certain is that it is, in fact, perfect. Nothing else matters—even if it is faded, torn, a little misshapen or stained. Listen to that click of perfection as you place it into completion. Stand back and observe the beauty of your journey.

Find perfection in the one who finds you perfect. Detach from what your conditioning calls your match. Live your life like there is no tomorrow. Savor every minute of this incredible journey to discover yourself and love yourself, so you can love unconditionally when your soulmate does arrive.

You are ready—so ready. Smile that knowing grin, that feeling that just around the corner is your infinite one, your love, who is smiling back at you so hard, doing a fist pump in the air saying…”yes!”

About Alex FtoulisA life coach, author, master healer, artist and a researcher in the domains of analytical and personality psychology, cognitive sciences, eastern and western philosophies and religions, quantum mechanics and more.