Non-Stick LIES!

I have a new griddle. A non-stick griddle. It’s the kind you put on top of your burners, heat, and go. I used it for the first time last night. I think I did something wrong.

I put it over my gas burners. I waited for the griddle to get nice and hot. I made an amazing batch of pancakes. Things were going smoothly. Then, I threw on some eggs to round out the meal. That’s where everything turned into a deep dark ditch.

Wait. I forgot to mention I do not own a plastic spatula, because I don’t have anything non-stick save this griddle, so that may play into my dinner drama.

Anywho, I get the eggs sizzlin’, I go to flip those bad boys, and they….STICK TO THE NON-STICK GRIDDLE!

It was awful.

I thought my heat was too high, so I adjusted it. I thought it was my spatula, so I cussed it (I was at that point mah babies). I thought I had a defective non-sticky thang, so I side-eyed it.

Somehow, I got the eggs off the griddle and onto our plates, but it wasn’t pretty. It was the opposite of pretty. It was hinging on hideous.

As soon as dinner was ready, I pulled the griddle off the burners and let it cool off while I ate, hoping I hadn’t ruined the griddle on my first try.

But, after it had cooled, after I tried to clean it without scrubbing it with anything that would scratch it, after Husband attempted a go at it, it still looks like this:

WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I cannot get that sucker clean. I am resisting every urge I have not to scour that griddle.

Oh, I should also note that I didn’t use any fat when I cooked, like butter. Is that where I went wrong? And if it is, isn’t that contrary to what non-stick is supposed to be?!

Listen, I am an experienced cook, but this is my first big toe into the non-stick world. Usually pancakes and fried eggs get made in a trusty cast iron Lodge pan. I thought non-stick would lighten the load. I thought it would be fun! Look, at it slide right off! I am not happy.

Non-stick says it will make your life easier: LIES!

Non-stick says it will save you clean-up time: LIES!

Non-stick says it will revolutionize how you cook: LIES!

I am thisclose to tossing that thing in the trash and writing a strongly-worded letter to the manufacturer…unless you think I was wrong.