Love in the digital age

While the digital age has made life easier for us, making the world truly a connected place to live in; the flip side is that people are now less connected on an emotional level. So, we often text instead of talking, video call instead of meeting face-to-face and send emoticons instead of articulating our feelings to our near and dear ones.

What does any relationship need?

“Proper communication, expression, sharing, trust, love, respect, togetherness, happiness, understanding, giving space, maintaining privacy, acceptance, a non-judgemental attitude, and so many other things,” says Prasanna Rabade, psychotherapist and counsellor from Disha Psychological Counselling Centre. He further explains, if “these criteria are fulfilled by any medium, then there is no problem in a relationship. So it doesn’t matter if you are connected digitally or via the traditional methods.” Counsellor and psychotherapist Parul Khona, on the other hand, believes that “digitisation has made relationships a lot more difficult to handle. Phones, Instagram, Facebook and other social media have made relationships a lot more stressful than what a date or two in a week or so earlier, would have made them.”

Has digitisation made partners more anxious?

‘‘The constant messaging on social media is a bit too dramatic,” Khona feels. People keep checking if their other half is online, how long back was the partner online or did he read the message but not respond? "This constant need to know what the partner is doing can put a spanner in the relationship,’’ she feels.

But on the other hand, Rabade believes that technology is good because it supports “fast and easy communication, expression, and allows more connectivity, lets you focus on memories, and be in touch with others more than before.” Digitisation is a boon for those who are in a long-distance relationship. Gone are the days, though, when people used to communicate by writing letters to each other. Although committed couples can’t thank the advancement in technology enough for bringing them closer despite the distance, technology sure has stripped off the charm and intimacy that a hand-written letter would have communicated effectively.

What are the pros and cons of relationships in the digital age?

Khona clarifies that couples are able to relate better thanks to digitisation. “Facebook lets us know what a person is thinking, or doing, or listening to, and that obviously creates a ‘connect’.” In fact, there are some relationships that start online, and soon go offline to become relationships in the real world! Like that of food blogger Megha Chhatbar’s. She met her husband, Bhavesh, on the then-popular social network Orkut, a decade back, and has been happily married since. They first met first during a forum discussion on common interests in Orkut. “After discussing on the forum, I realised that we look at things in the same way, so I sent him a friend request. His response was, ‘I see you as my prospective wife so share your email address and we will talk on mail.’ I was stunned! After a few days of emails, we started speaking on the phone. Within just a week, we had met in person. We bonded so well that he came to Jaipur to talk to my family about marriage. Once they agreed, within 10 days, my family visited his place in Pune and we did the roka (engagement). Dates were finalised and we got married within four months!”

So, relationships in the digital age are just as relationships were earlier, but couples do need to keep a few things in mind. For instance, intimacy can only be shared when two people are looking at each other and not at their devices, Khona believes. Rabade points out that communication is key. Listen to each other and share your feelings without any hesitation.

Finding love in the virtual world

With the rapid march of technology over the past few decades, it’s not come as a surprise that the entire dating scenario has changed. Online dating has finally found its space in India. So, go ahead and find the one you vibe with, thanks to all these apps at your disposal.

Tinder: Already a known dating app all around the globe, Tinder has recently entered India. Its algorithm is unquestionably its unique selling proposition and has the ability to connect you with a like-minded person in less than a minute. Tinder has some amazing features like mutual friends and the super-like option. Moreover, you can choose to let your profile be discovered by other people and be in touch with the ones you have already liked. Other than that, the app offers you the convenience of managing your search results based on factors such as age or distance.

Marrily: The struggles of the young generation going through the traditional route for finding a life partner sparked the idea of launching Marrily. It’s a matrimonial match-making application that focuses on career-oriented professionals who would like to go beyond the general criteria of marriage as listed on matrimonial websites. Marrily uses multiple smart verification features such as Facebook registration and authentication through selfies, ensuring genuine profiles. It has introduced the concept of Marrily Socials where events such as movies, wine tasting, game nights, etc. are organised for select singles where they get a chance to interact and discover if they like each other.

Thrill: It is an Indian dating app, which is created keeping in mind people who might not be tech-savvy. The app has an intuitive user interface that makes things easy for the user, and also ensures that women are the deciding factor. If men want to join the community, they need to be voted by a group of women. The complete filling up of a profile on this app will help you get matched quickly and efficiently. The impressive feature of audio and video verification is something that sets this app apart.

Truly Madly: This app has managed to create quite a wave as it is the Indian counterpart of Tinder. It helps one find a match based on interests and preferences, going beyond the parameters of age and distance. The unique feature of this app is that it not only ensures the safety of your images but also encourages the user to ask their friends to endorse them for a better ‘trust’ score. This eventually leads the user to a higher number of conversations with the matches. The app also encourages the users to play certain games with their matches like Styletastic and Foodie Funda which helps them to get to know each other better.

Woo: It is a dating and matchmaking app which focuses only on educated professionals. This app is quite engaging for users due to features such as Voice Intro, Tag Search, Question Cast and direct messaging. The algorithm of this app is such that it helps the user find matches based on the interest tags and enables the user to look up probable matches on the basis of single tag on a subject that you feel interests you the most.