from Hot Plate, a column at The Houston Press :Samosas are savory Indian pasties. Sold on the streets of every Indian town, they're normally filled with potatoes, vegetables or meat. At Restaurant Indika (12665 Memorial, 713-984-1725), the samosas ($8) don't follow tradition. They're stuffed with crabmeat and laced with hot peppers, and instead of the traditional triangular shape, they come in round mounds, like small breasts, replete with tiny nipples on top. A pair sits comfortably on the plate, on top of field greens and next to a delicious, homemade sweet papaya-and-ginger chutney -- the perfect counterpoint to the spicy snacks.

This is not an attempt to get into The Guinness Book of Records, just a way of life for some folks in India, where extreme opposites are the norm. Filthy rich and destitute, brilliant and uneducated, Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian or Buddhist, they have all somehow lived together in peace since gaining Independence from the British in 1947.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Rumor has it that JESUS WAS JEWISH: He went into His father's business. He lived at home until He was 33. His Mother was sure He was God.

But then again, just maybeJESUS WAS IRISH:He never got married. He was always telling stories. He loved green pastures.

Or perhaps,JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN:His first name was Jesus. He was bilingual. He was always being harassed by the authorities.

Then again it is possible thatJESUS WAS ITALIAN: He talked with his hands. He had wine with every meal. He worked in the building trades.

There are those who believeJESUS WAS BLACK: He called everybody "brother". He liked Gospel. He couldn't get a fair trial.

Some of us suspect thatJESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN: He had long hair. He walked around barefoot. He started a new religion.

However, there is one other possibility -MAYBE JESUS WAS A WOMAN: He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for Him to do.

A Christmas Story'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!I've busted my ass for damn near a year,Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?The old lady bitches 'cause I work late at night.The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.

And just when I thought that things would get betterThose ***holes from the IRS sent me a letter.They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny !Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pitsThey want the impossible--Those mean little shits !I spent a whole year making wagons and sledsAssembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads.I made a ton of yo yo's--no request for them,They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the treesFalling down chimneys and skinning my knees...I'm quitting this job, there's just no enjoymentI'll sit on my fat ass and draw Unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year, now you know the reason,I found me a blonde...I'm going SOUTH for the season !

Merry Christmas ! As the holidays approach, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.

Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Gladwrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by DHL or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Myers or David Jones since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time) .

I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a arge pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (Australian WST) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

A woman's husband dies. After everything is done at thefuneral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friendthat there is no money left. The friend says, "How can that be?You told me he had $40,000 a few days before he died.How could you be broke?"

The widow says, "Well, the funeral cost me $6,500. And ofcourse, I had to make a donation for the church and the organistand all. That was $500 and I spent another $500 for the wake,food and drinks, you know. The rest went for the Memorial stone."The friend says, "$32,500 for the Memorial stone? My God, howbig was it?"

The widow says, "Three and a half Carats."

********************************************** The Pope was finishing his sermon and ended it with theLatin phrase, "Tuti Hominus" -- Blessed be mankind.

A Women's rights group approached the Pope the next day.They said, 'We noticed that the Pope blessed all Mankind,but not Womankind.'

The next day, after his sermon, the Pope concluded by saying, "Tuti Hominus et tuti Feminus." Blessed be mankind and womankind.

The next day a Gay-rights group approached the Pope. They saidthey noticed that he blessed mankind and womankind and asked ifhe could also bless all the homosexuals. The Pope said, "Sure."

The next day he concluded his sermon with: "Tuti hominus et tutiFeminus et Tuti Fruity"

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Hand-painted B/W of and by theartist - from The Walsh GalleryAs usual, Xeni Jardin, who is one of the editors at Boing Boinghas unearthed another unlikely India-related link. This time it'sabout the wonderfully gifted female artist from Bangalore named N. Pushpamala, whose work has been seen not only in India butalso in Johannesburg, Perth, Australia, the U.K., the USA, etc.Unfortunately, decent-sized images of Ms. Pushpamala's workare unavailable on the web so definitely check out the links at :http://www.boingboing.net/2005/12/07/photography_n_pushpa.html

Dec. 8th, 2005 marks the 25-year anniversary* of John Lennon and there are zillions of tributes viaconcerts, exhibitions, Radio, TV, films and the worldwide web. Too many links to wade throughso I decided to feature the one source most responsiblefor the popularity of John and the rest of the Beatles :The BBChttp://www.bbc.co.uk/music/lennon/

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

* From the New York Times, Dec. 5th 2005 :Poor Indians rely, in addition to their feet, on an extraordinaryarray of contraptions for transport. They pile on top of buses inthe Indian version of the double-decker. They ride tractors andbullock carts and pack 13 strong into Tempo taxis made for 6.

What they cannot regularly rely on is public transport.While New Delhi and Calcutta have built subways, most citieshave not, and they face severe bus shortages as well.Cars speed by waiting bus riders, who stand like spectators.

The rise of the auto, and the investment in highways, dovetailswith a larger trend of privatization in Indian life, in which the"haves" are those who can afford to pay for services thegovernment does not provide: efficient transport, clean water,good schools, decent health care.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Link to Articlefrom The Deccan Herald "Its beginning coincided with the birth of cinema in India - in 1896 - when the Lumiere Brothers presented their year-old invention for the first time to an astonished audience in Bombay at the Watson Hotel. Tents followed and after 1907 came the cinema houses. There are many cinema houses of the early 20th century vintage. But I doubt if any of them is exactly as it was originally built.

Original building The Elgin (which takes its name from Lord Elgin who ruled India) was built in 1896 - when India woke up to magical cinema - brick by brick exactly as it was designed. Even today it follows strict segregation of the sexes - booking, entrance and seating!* Thus it becomes the oldest building remaining unchanged in every aspect since 1896, now serving as a cinema house."

*Even as I post this, Frank Sinatra is on TV's Turner Classicsin 'The Joker Is Wild' (1957) and Mitzi Gaynor tells him thatin India the movie houses had segregated seating for theUntouchable classes...

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Prayer of the 'Health Food' buffsOur fibre who art in Heaven,Hallowed be thy neem,Thy karela come, Thy methi be done, in rotis as in leaven,Give us this day our daily roughage,And forgive us our triglycerides,As we forgive those who hydrogenate fats against us.Lead us not into cholestrol,And deliver us from BP,For Thine is the isabgol,The gobi and the mooli,For ever and ever, ....Amla

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

"The Grandmaster said the most challengingobject he ever has pulled was a 60-foot truck— and that was with another man. These days,however, he's looking to up the ante...Master Tuhas another extraordinary stunt in the works.He is in the process of getting clearance from theTaiwanese government to borrow a 747 jet airplane.It promises to be an attention-getting event if theycan pull it off - or rather pull it forward...."Pull this

To be outspoken in India is to be subject tohumiliation and public scorn. Take the case ofactress Khushboo (shown here during a filmshoot in Chennai). Kushboo has beenpelted with sandals, tomatoes and rotten eggs *and hauled before court for telling Indian men notto expect their brides to be virgins anymore.Yahoo News story* Brings to mind the Biblical tale of Mary Magdalenewho was about to be stoned in public for being aharlot, when Jesus Christ saved her with his words,"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone".No Jesus available this time around...

Angie and Brad in PakistanWinter was on everyone's minds as UNHCR GoodwillAmbassador Angelina Jolie visited earthquake zonesin northern Pakistan last week. She helped to deliverfood and blankets to remote mountain villages andspoke to women in a camp on their struggle tosurvive through the cold spell.UN Refugee Agency news item on Brad Pitt

Tourists Jackie and Wayne say it is importantto know the culture Wayne, says: "We do not kiss or embrace each otherin public because I know it is not liked here. When youopen up a bottle of beer you can make out from thelooks around you, it is not liked," he says.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Found this at Flickr.com - a Puneite's Photo album with somegreat shots in and around Pune. This Pune mall blows away mostof the ones in Houston, Texas since this part of the country is notTornado-proof, and safety concerns mandate two-story structures.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Everyone wanted a piece of Jackie Chan. And at themedia gathering at J W Marriott, Juhu, the Chinese superstarwho’s here to promote The Myth, was at ease even whenthe cameras trailed him to the loo.

‘‘I don’t know how the Indian film market functions, howmany theatres are there, how many prints you need, but Iwill learn,’’ said Chan. Accompanied by director Stanley Tongand agent, Willie Chan, his reason for coming to Mumbai forthe premiere was because Mallika Sherawat wailed onthe phone.

Sherawat was reconciled to the fact that she wasn’t theonly one attracting the flashbulbs. ‘‘I can tell my grandchildrenthat I’ve done a film with the world’s most famous Chineseman,’’ she said when asked why she chose to do a role thatsupposedly amounted to nine minutes of screen footage.‘‘It’s a full-fledged role, much longer than nine minutes.But it’s a Jackie Chan film.’’Read the expressindia articlehere

Drunks are being offered a weekend break with a differenceby police in eastern England -- "convenient accommodationwith lots of bars" at the "Lock'Em Inn."

A spoof brochure is being distributed by Ipswich police in aneffort to remind revelers of the effects of drinking too muchduring the first festive season under Britain's newopen-all-hours drinking laws.

Police have produced more than 30,000 leaflets proclaimingthe dubious attractions of the "Lock'em Inn," an establishment"conveniently located within easy reach of Ipswich pubs,clubs and criminal courts."

"Built in the 1960s, the atmosphere is truly unique," the leafletsays of the local police station. The accommodation is"minimalist chic with economy in mind."

A picture of a microwave meal promises: "Warm food lovinglyreheated in seconds."

Minimum stays are available of between four to six hours, butthe leaflet suggests "Why not make it a long weekend? Getarrested on a Saturday and stay with us until court Monday."

New licensing laws come into effect across England and WalesThursday, which will allow pubs and bars to open for longer.Senior judges and police have warned the new rules could makethe country's already serious drinking problems worse.

You can take the man out of Punebut you can't take Pune out of the man...Pune, November 20: A bit of Pune remained insideNashik-born architecture student Yogeshwar Navagrahwhen he went to the University of Calgary, Canada.

Laxmi Road with its open shopping area and walking downFergusson College Road with friends were etched so deeplyin his memory that he decided to incorporate it whileredesigning a suburban mall into a contemporary shoppingdistrict in Calgary.

His new design fetched him the Mayor’s Urban Design Award2005 in the student category. Navagrah, a student ofEnvironmental Design at Calgary, attributes his success to the“vibrancy of Pune streets that make it a sought-after placeby people”.

“I selected this project because I didn’t find many places inCalgary that I would love to go to as in Pune. The core conceptwas creating a good street with lots of small shops andrestaurants,” says Yogeshwar, an Abhinav Kala Mahavidyalayagraduate, who plans to use the skills gained in Canada in urbandesign, in India.Link Pune images at Leitmotif

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Let's see here now :Once upon a time the Pilgrims sailed to the New World(America) to escape the British and after many bloody battlesdrove the British out of the American colonies and establishedtheir own rule in 1776.

The British bowed to the military demands of World War II andthe bloody opposition in India to whom it granted Independencein 1947.

Decades later, workers in Indian call-centres vacate their bloodyjobs because bloody Americans verbally abuse them and causethem trauma.

So who do we have as prime recruits to field calls from the USA ?None other than the bloody Brits !

It should be interesting to see how well these British call-centrerecruits fare in this new Indian battleground where it's Britain vs.America vs. the rest of the world...

An army of British workers is being recruited to staff India'svast network of call centres because of a shortage ofsuitable candidates on the subcontinent.

In a remarkable reversal of the outsourcing that has seenthousands of jobs lost in the UK, telesales operations arelooking to fill a skills gap in the east with young Britonswilling to work on Indian wages.

And they are eagerly taking up the challenge. Both recentgraduates and those with experience of working in Britishcall centres are flocking to sign up for jobs in Bombay,Delhi and Bangalore that pay just $350 (U.S.) a month.

It might not sound like much, but many are finding thatthey can earn enough to live on for six months or a yearbefore heading off travelling. Indeed, a stint in the call centresfollowed by a period mellowing out on Goa's beaches ortouring the palaces of Rajasthan is becoming the fashionableway for single young Britons to spend a gap year.http://wiredblogs.tripod.com/sterling/index.blog?entry_id=1284171

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

They've had it up to here with Cable TVand they'renot going to take it anymore inClark, Texas

'A Texas town has changed its name to DISH in exchange for10 years of free satellite television service...the best part ofthe contract, Mayor Merritt said, is the free television willbe extended to anyone who moves to Dish and any land that islater annexed by the town. The new town signs were a bonus,designed and paid for by DISH Network 'Link to AFP/Yahoo article

Arthur C. Clarke Honored by Sri LankaOne of the first to suggest the use of sattelitesorbiting the earth for communications, Clarkehas written more than 80 books, including"2001 - A Space Odyssey" and 500 short storiesand articles.

IIn the 1940s he forecast that man would reach the moon by the year 2000, an idea experts dismissed as rubbish. When Neil Armstrong landed in 1969, the United States said Clarke "provided the essential intellectual drive that led us to the moon."

On Monday Arthur C. Clarke became an Honorary Citizen of Sri Lanka and was awarded its highest civilian award for his contributions to science and technology and his commitment to his adopted country.

Monday, November 14, 2005

No special genius required here, justa basic knowledge of the English LanguageHere's a fun thing to do : change the famous Einsteinequation to one of your own choosing like I did,save the image to your PC and then you can e-mail it,all in seconds !Visit http://www.hetemeel.com/einsteinform.phpfor instructions and other fun stuff...

Saturday, November 12, 2005

WIFE VS. HUSBANDA couple drove down a country road for several miles,not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to anargument and neither of them wanted to concede theirposition. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,"Relatives of yours?""Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."*

WORDSA husband read an article to his wife about how manywords women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.The wife replied, "The reason has to be because wehave to repeat everything to men..."The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"CREATIONA man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how youcan be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God mademe beautiful so you would be attracted to me;God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"WHO DOES WHATA man and his wife were having an argument about whoshould brew the coffee each morning.The wife said, "You should do it, because you get upfirst, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."The husband said, " You are in charge of cookingaround here and you should do it, because that is yourjob, and I can just wait for my coffee."Wife replied, "No, you should do it, and besides, itis in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."Husband replied, "I can't believe that, show me."So she fetched the Bible, and opened the NewTestamentand showed him at the top of several pages, that indeedit says.........."HEBREWS"

Friday, November 11, 2005

Something made me want to read more about this movie and then I figured out why: my father, Sam Millar was doing the artwork for the poster and I had watched him as he worked on this project at our home in Pune, India.

Unfortunately my brilliant old man wasn't too keen on being associated with Indian films in those pre-Bollywood days, having spent a major part of his life growing up under British Rule and being a starving, tortured artist in the truest sense of the word. He had a deep knowledge and love of film-making, in Cecil B. DeMille proportions that he freely shared with anyone who was willing to listen. And listen they did, and learned, and profited immensely from his incredible talents in Art, Music, Language and... ....you name it. He was associated with all the major Indian film studios of the day in some way or the other and this I know from personal experience, having spent many a night at the homes of movie stars and producers while they brainstormed and partied into the wee hours. So the pre-Bollywood history of Indian film-making has many wonderful contributions of art provided by my father, the Great Anonymous, the Great Unknown. I figured a man of such legendary stature must surely be remembered in some way other than as my Father. So I conducted a quick search for the filmon Google, which yielded this link to a recent U.K. Art Gallery exhibit thatfeatures...my father's poster for Mother India ! Link to Gallery Unfortunately, Samuel Vincent Millar received little or no credit for most of his work during his lifetime (not unlike Vincent Van Gogh, his idol), often using the pseudonym Vincent. The Internet Movie Database has one lonely link to support my story here :A contract for a huge series of portraits for the U.S. Supreme Commanderof the Armed Forces in Vietnam led to an extended visit to Jhansi as houseguest of General Westmoreland, and a subsequent offer of Permanent Migration to the U.S. Much as he adored Hollywood, his dislike for American Politics and morals influenced my father's decision to spend the rest of his life humbly in Thane, India. Oddly, my own Karma led me to migrate to the U.S.A. in 1976 and here I am setting the record straight for Sam Millar....

Thursday, November 10, 2005

His story in the making and I have the pleasure of bringing it to you :These Cynthia Lennon (seated) meets Madoo pics made me rememberhow in the '60sI devoured Melody Maker and New Music Express (UK)mags, when The Beatles were just starting to make it to the Indian airwavesand turntables, and were still with their first wives. Now when an Indianartist like Madoo actually gets to give his Tribute CD to a Lennon, I see thatas a milestone on many levels...for India, Indians, and Madoo and his family.

Click on the pics to enlarge, and stay tuned for further Madoo updates, itgets bigger and better !