Former Illini football player Vontae Davis was arrested (Or was he? See update below.) on June 9 in Champaign for unnecessary vehicular noise and driving without a valid license.

There you have it. In central Illinois, you can be arrested for acting like every asshat on South Beach.

Fear not, Vontae. You're heading to a winterless land that respects your right to be a slow-rolling, stereo-blasting tool.

UPDATE: Or... maybe he wasn't arrested? Thanks for the heads up, Andy. Check it out: Davis says that he hasn't been in Champaign since February but that before he left, he lost his wallet. Whoever swiped Davis' license may have been acting (convincingly!) the part of obnoxious, overpaid athlete. Wow.

So... umm, sorry about that Vontae! But in any case, be assured that neither you nor your doppelgangers will be chastised for "unnecessary vehicular noise" in South Florida. We've developed an immunity.