Month: December 2017

Ladies and gentlemen, these are real. Always put your sanity first and learn when to let go of all the people, situations and envirements that are toxic! Love, Tam ❤

6 Tactics narcissists will use to silence you.

Are you the victim of a narcissist’s toxic manipulation? Check out some of their most common approaches to twisting your mind -Jun 20, 2017 by R.J. Wilson.

It’s smart to know how to identify the signs that you’re being jerked around by someone with a disorder that blunts their capacity to experience empathy or treat you like a human being—for example, a narcissist.

The only way to win is not to play.

Gaslighting
The term “gaslighting” typically refers to psychological manipulation intended to make someone question their perception of reality.

Gaslighters might claim that something didn’t happen, or that the accuser imagined some elements of her story. It’s an extremely damaging tactic, since it can compel a person to question her sense of reality.

To respond to gaslighting, try not to engage. Remain as calm as possible and cultivate an awareness; by understanding what the narcissist is trying to do, you can respond more effectively.

Perhaps most importantly, know that you don’t have to convince the narcissist or win the argument. Maintain your perspective and give yourself credit; you’re not making this up, and your feelings are certainly valid.

Shaming
This classic manipulation technique is also one of the most damaging. While the method may seem obvious, it can be quite subtle if carried out by a narcissist whom you trust and adore.

The implication is that the narcissist is more mature and has developed beyond the level of the other person.

Diversion
It can be frustrating when someone changes the subject in the middle of a conversation, but when a partner does this to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, diversion can be downright dangerous. Narcissists use this tactic to derail conversations that may lead to an unpleasant result.

Instead, insist on keeping the topic of the conversation out in front. Resist the urge to respond to personal attacks; remain calm and focused, and you’ll be able to maintain control.

Triangulation
To make themselves seem more credible—and to dismiss their partner’s feelings—narcissists may bring another person into the mix in an attempt to “stack the deck” in their favor.

They might say, ‘Well it’s not only me who thinks this way.’

This is an especially insidious technique when the narcissist uses someone you personally trust or admire to diminish you.

The narcissist may also use a third person who could be a threat to you—an ex-lover, for instance—in an effort to force you into submission. You may feel forced to compete with the third person.

Projection
Projection is the act of taking your own thoughts, feelings, or behaviors and pushing them onto others.

There are several different kinds of projection—neurotic, complementary, and complimentary. And while most people project on occasion, narcissists frequently employ projection as a means of psychological abuse.

This is another way in which the narcissist avoids addressing their own imperfections; rather than taking responsibility for their behaviors, they force their victims to assume that responsibility.

Name-Calling
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you—except when they do. Because they really do! Narcissists have caught onto this fact and will use it to their advantage.

Of course, there’s something undeniably childish about resorting to name-calling, and that’s typically not the approach you would expect from someone who has spent their life refining manipulation tactics.

A bad nickname affects your self esteem, and studies show that name-calling affects compliance. The narcissist may or may not be aware that he’s using this form of manipulation, but the malicious intent is usually clear to everyone (except, perhaps, the victim).

How to Get Out
If any of these situations are familiar, you might be dealing with a manipulative person. When that person is your partner, you may need to get out of the relationship.

However, severe situations require immediate action. Realize that you cannot change or reason with an extreme narcissist, and that any attempts can lead to them working themselves back into your life.

If you decide to end a relationship with an extreme narcissist, Glass recommends making a clean break if possible.

Use your support system and don’t allow the conversation to continue. Block the narcissist’s number and email address and cut off any communication outlets. While this might seem harsh, it’s the only way to truly keep them out of your life.

We should note that the suggestions in this article don’t apply to every situation, and severely abusive relationships often need to be handled differently to ensure your safety.

If you or someone you know is encountering abuse, visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline website or call 1-800-799-7233.

TRUE LOVE – I tell my husband everyday how much of a great man he is BUT no matter what I do for him, I feel its not enough. He is so amazing. I’ve never known anything like this.

To everybody seeing me cook everyday for him. Clean everyday for us. Wake up at crazy early times in the morning to help him get ready for work. Help him get to his dreams and sort his clothes etc. I feel like it’s still not enough because he is a true king.

I get his baths ready. Massage him when work get the best of him. Soothe him and comfort him…. yet I still feel like he is so amazing that he needs more.

I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like this. God didn’t fail me. I didn’t even know men like him existed in this generation.

HE LOVES ME in ways I didnt know love could me.

HE RESPECTS ME like i didn’t even know a woman could be respected because we live in a world where women are sooooo strong that we became “men”.

HE VALUES ME AND MY BODY for the creator I am. I am life. Women are life. I am treasure. I am jewels. I am royalty and so is he.

I would like to send a MASSIVE congratulations to all my sisters WHO GOT THEIR KING at last!! We are truly a testimony that GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO GREAT WOMEN who finally understand AND VALUE themselves.

I love you all my sisters ❤✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻

Dear kings out there, we thank you and value you with all that we are ❤👌🏿👌🏾👌🏽👌🏼👌🏻

THOUGHT OF THE NIGHT – My husband always make sure we are warm and have appropriate clothes for this cold weather. I’ve never had a man that made such thing a priority. French men are providers too. Swiss men are hella responsible and life planners like no other BUT English men (estate people – lower class British) are just sperm donors with rights.

1. Trust me when I say they will NOT buy your kids winter clothes or even ask if your kids are good for winter. It’s not their concerns at all because “The mother should be responsible and do it”.

2. These low class English men will NOT worry about yall kids having warm water, heating on, electricity that your children need to live on because “The mother should be responsible and handle it”.

3. Hysterical fact, it is LEGAL in England for a man to pay £10 a month PER CHILD in child support. UK fact: “Parents face bills of almost a quarter of a million pounds (£250,000) to raise just one child to the age of 21, new research shows. Surging childcare fees and expenses linked to education mean the basic cost of bringing up a child in the UK has risen 50 per cent faster than inflation over more than a decade.”

However, the said man will SHOUT OUT LOUD that:

a) They pay for their kids and that the mother is a “stupid b*tch” and ungrateful. The mother takes “their money” and use it on herself!! Guys, we’re talking diapers every two weeks plus baby milk and clothes etc minus bills FOR THE CHILD as well as activities and daily cost! Yup, your petty ass £10 ain’t shit for nobody to ball tf out. Okay, looooney?? 🤔🙄

b) They would stunt on the net claiming all type of bullsh*t but they have NO CLUE as to what their kids do at school at all. Fam, who is your kid school teacher? Oh you don’t know??! Okay, looooney 🤔🙄

I am so lucky that I no longer have this problem. I have a working man who makes sure that the children are always clothed, they always have warmth, electricity and a damn shelter over their heads.

DON’T GET ME WRONG LADIES I have been a single mum before. I have beeeeen paying bills. I know damn well we, women, beeeeen holding shit down. Im just saying though that i am glad that THIS SHIT RIGHT THERE is no longer my story.

HONESTLY, my dad is the only man prior to my husband I have had experienced that with.

It wasn’t just me though, my friends and many women I knew had “ain’t shit men” too. So it felt like NO GOOD MAN was out there and that the kind of man that many of us HAVE NOW didn’t exist then. So, we gave up and thought we had to stay with the devil we knew best UNTIL YOU SAY FUCK THAT and getchu yourrr real man!!! 😏👏🏾

I’m just glad I got to marry a good family man. I am a good family woman myself so to be able to finally give my all to my very own WORTHY family is everything.

I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT to salute all the beautiful men AND fathers out there. We need more like you AND WE APPRECIATE YOU and all that you do.

England is dysfunctional af fr fr 😐😑😴

NOW – WOMEN – don’t let a man use as a “surrogate” to have kids. Some men DO NOT respect the process of child bearing. It is in fact a life threatening process for you or your child. Many babies don’t make it past three months, 6 months, birth and then after!! Many mothers die while pregnant, during birth or after!!

These men out there are sh*tting on women. Calling them out of their names consistently and they DON’T GIVE A FUCK about the fact that for 10months gestation you created life. You had to change your lifestyle and diet. You had a million health checks to do. Some women lost their hair, broke their teeth (due to a need of calcium). You became anemic, got diabetic. A WHOLE LOT OF SH*T!! YET, you made it. The baby made it. You all survived all the complications through the pregnancy (if any complications occured) BUT A MF’ER GONNA DISRESPECT YOU AFTER ALL THAT TAKE YOUR CHILD?

DON’T 👏🏾 LET 👏🏾 A 👏🏾 MF’ER 👏🏾 USE 👏🏾 YOU!!! 👏🏾👏🏾 YOU ARE NOT A SURROGATE. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY YOU WILL DO ALL THE WORK and he would sit back yet bitch all day. Depending how, these MFs will even claim that the job YOU DID was theirs!!! CHOOSE YOUR MAN WISELY!!!

👏🏾👏🏾 If y’all not out here BUILDING FAMILIES TOGETHER IN PARTNERSHIP – DON’T HAVE KIDS!!!!

👏🏾👏🏾 If y’all aren’t committed to make it work as parents for your kids because you’re not mature enough – DON’T HAVE KIDS!!

👏🏾👏🏾 If a man don’t respect women – DON’T FUCK WITH HIM!!

👏🏾👏🏾 If a woman isn’t what you need – DO NOT GIVE HER YOUR SPERM!!

So many of us made these mistakes WHEN ARE YALL GON LEARN?????????? seriously. I’m just happy I don’t have to worry about them bullsh*ts there no more. Smh. DO BETTER SIS!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾