Facts and Formulae For the Forgetful

by Rabbi Yehuda Spitz

Here we are, after the chagim (as they say in Eretz Yisrael), and an interesting issue of repetition has come up again (no pun intended). Over the course of the last Yom Tov-filled month, and right up until after Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan a simple question might elicit a very different rabbinic response. The subject? What do I do if I forgot the halachically mandated ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’ in Birchas HaMazon[1]? Do I need to repeat the Bentching or not? And why would I get different answers?

This quite common clique of queries is not new; it is addressed in the very first printed halachic responsum of the renowned Rabbi Akiva Eiger[2]. Someone wrote to Rav Eiger explaining that some members of his household forgot to say ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’ in Bentching, and his local Rabbi told them to repeat Birchas HaMazon. Yet, the author seemed to remember a different time, when faced with the same dilemma, his rabbi ruled not to repeat Bentching. So, this perplexed person, instead of requesting the halachic rationale from his LOR, decided to write to the Gadol HaDor asking for an elucidation.

Rav Eiger responded that Birchas HaMazon must be repeated when someone forgets ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’ on Yom Tov. However, if it was forgotten on Rosh Chodesh then one does not repeat Bentching. The distinction is fascinating! It lies in the different halachic requirements for a festive bread meal (‘Seudah’). Yom Tov (as well as Shabbos) has a requirement of ‘Seudah’. Therefore, if one does not mention the Yom Tov day in Birchas HaMazon as part of ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’ (or Retzei on Shabbos), he must repeat the whole Bentching[3].

Rosh Chodesh is different. Although there is a Mitzvah to have a ‘Seudah’ on it, it is not halachically required[4], and therefore Bentching is not repeated if ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’ was forgotten[5][6].

Women’s Rights

Yet, Rav Akiva Eiger added a wrinkle. He states that if the letter-writer was referring to a woman forgetting ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’, then even on Yom Tov she should not repeat Birchas HaMazon. He explains that a woman’s requirement to have a bread ‘Seudah’ on Yom Tov is due to Mitzvah of Oneg / Simchas Yom Tov and falls under the category of a ‘Mitzvas Asei Shehazman Gerama’, a time-bound positive commandment that women are technically generally exempt from[7]. Therefore, he rules, if a woman forgot ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’, she should not repeat Bentching, as she was not halachically mandated to have bread at the ‘Seudah’. The sole exceptions are on Shabbos, due to the joint obligations of positive and negative commandments (Zachor V’Shamor[8]) that men and women are equally obligated in following, and on the first night of Pesach regarding eating Matzah, which likewise has a joint obligation of positive and negative commandments (not eating chometz and eating Matzah)[9].

However, opposition to Rav Akiva Eiger’s novel ruling regarding women was not long in coming, most notably by Rav Shlomo Cohen, eminent Dayan in Vilna and author of several authoritative sefarim (including the Cheshek Shlomo, and Shu”t Binyan Shlomo)[10]. These decisors noted that the Shulchan Aruch, when he codified this halacha, did not seem to make any distinction between which Yom Tov it was, nor between men’s and women’s obligations, when he ruled that one must repeat Bentching if ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’ was mistakenly forgotten. Additionally, according to the understanding of many great authorities, including the Pri Megadim, Sha’agas Aryeh, Shoel’ U’Meishiv, and Shulchan Aruch HaRav, women are obligated in the same level of Mitzvah of Simchas Yom Tov that men are, including the Mitzvah to have a bread ‘Seudah’[11]!

Rav Akiva Eiger defended his ruling[12], maintaining that although women obviously do have the Mitzvah of Simchas Yom Tov, that is referring to wearing new clothing and celebrating Yom Tov with Bassar V’Yayin (meat and wine), but without an actual obligation to partake in a bread ‘Seudah’. A proof of this is that regarding the halacha of repeating Bentching, the Shulchan Aruch rules that Chol HaMoed has similar status to Rosh Chodesh, and one does not repeat if he forgot ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’. Yet, Chol HaMoed, being a part of Yom Tov, still retains the obligation for Simchas Yom Tov. Therefore, concludes Rav Eiger, it stands to reason that the Mitzvah of Simchas Yom Tov does not mandate a bread ‘Seudah’.

Bottom Line

So, how do contemporary authorities rule, having to choose a path between such luminaries of generations past? While several poskim rule stringently that a woman should repeat Birchas HaMazon if she forgot ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’[13], and others seem undecided[14]; it seems that most contemporary authorities, including the Debreciner Rav and the Shevet HaLevi[15], rule that a woman should not repeat Bentching for forgetting ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’ on Yom Tov, except on the first night of Pesach. This is also the conclusion of several contemporary sefarim that deal with halachos pertaining to women, including Halichos Baysah, Koh Somar L’Bais Yaakov, and Halichos Bas Yisrael[16]. They add that this psak is surely true and repetition unnecessary if she is merely uncertain if she said ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’ (and even on the first night of Pesach)[17]. They assert that aside from following Rabbi Akiva Eiger’s trailblazing ruling, there is additional justification to allow leniency for women regarding repetition of Bentching due to lapse of ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’, based on several minority opinions[18].

In conclusion, if you just finished Bentching and realized (too late) that ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’ was not recited, before panicking, just remember the sine qua non: Were you truly obligated to eat the ‘Seudah’ that you just finished? If so, then your Bentching was incomplete, and needs repetition. If not, repetition is not required as you already were yotzei ‘V’achalta v’savata u’vayrachta’[19], and are now worthy of receiving Hashem’s personal favor![20]B’tayavon!

The author wishes to thank mv”r Rav Yosef Yitzchak Lerner, as much of this article is based on his excellent comprehensive sefer Shgiyos Mi Yavin (vol. 1, Ch. 25).

[3]This entire discussion is referring to when one forgot to say ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’ at all during Bentching. If one remembered during the actual Birchas HaMazon, depending at which point he remembered, there is a specific bracha to say (dependant on the holiday) and he may not need to repeat his Bentching. See Shulchan Aruch and main commentaries ad loc 5 - 7.

[4]See Tur & Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 419). The Kaf Hachaim (ad loc. 2) cites opinions that one must have a bread ‘Seudah’ on Rosh Chodesh as well, and concludes that a ‘Yarei Shamayim’ would make sure to wash and have a ‘Seudah’ on Rosh Chodesh in order to honor the day properly, as one who honors the Mitzvos is rewarded many times over.

[17]Shu”t Ba’er Moshe (vol. 3, 38, 13 s.v. nashim), Shu”t Yigal Yaakov (O.C. 22), and Halichos Baysah (Ch. 12, 14), not like the Yad Yitzchak (vol. 2, 54) who opines that she should repeat Bentching even if she is unsure if she said ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’. Shgiyos Mi Yavin (vol. 1, Ch. 25 footnote 94), adds an additional compelling reason why she should not repeat Bentching. The Mishna Berura (186, 3 & Biur Halacha s.v. ella) cites a machlokes haposkim regarding a women who is mesupak if she Bentched at all, whether she needs to repeat Bentching. Therefore, it stands to reason that if she knows she Bentched and is merely unsure if she recited ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’ it can’t be any more obligating.

[18]Including the fact that the Gemara (Brachos 20b) does not rule if Birchas HaMazon for women is a chiyuv deoraysa or derabbanan (and this safek is codified in halacha - [Rambam (Hilchos Brachos Ch. 5, 1), Rosh (Brachos Ch. 3, 13), Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 186, 1)], that is why a women should not be motzi a man in his Bentching obligation). There are also additional minority opinions that can be metzaref as sniffim lehakel, including the opinion of the Kaf Hachaim (O.C. 188, 24) based on Tosafos’ shittah (Sukka 27b s.v. eey baui achil) that one must only have bread on the first night of Sukkos and Pesach. Therefore, posits the Kaf Hachaim, these are the only times that even a man must repeat Bentching on Yom Tov. Another sniff is the Kaf Hachaim’s next shitta, that if a man only has to repeat Bentching on these two exclusive times, then certainly, a woman, whose chiyuv to Bentch in the first place is a safek deoraysa or derabbanan should not have to repeat Bentching for missing ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’. Rav Ezriel Hildescheimer (Shu”t Rebbi Ezriel O.C. 185, 6) rules similarly to the Kaf Hachaim, regarding women never repeating Bentching for forgetting ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’. Although many dispute the Kaf Hachaim’s reasoning, and in the words of Rav Ovadia Yosef, (Shu”t Yabea Omer ibid.) “ain bsfaiko shel Rebbi Ezriel l’dchos haVaday shel HaGaon R’ Akiva Eiger” regarding Shabbos and the first night of Pesach, nevertheless, several authorities use them as a sniff lehakel for the rest of the Yomim Tovim, allowing women not to repeat Bentching for forgetting ‘Ya’aleh V’Yavo’. [See Shgiyos Mi Yavin (vol. 1, Ch. 25 footnote 91); Shmiras Shabbos K’Hilchasa (ibid.) Shu”t Ba’er Moshe (ibid.), Halichos Baysah (ibid.), and Halichos Bas Yisrael (ibid.).]

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