I went on 100 dates in a single year — here are my 3 best pieces of advice on breaking the ice with a stranger

It's not as scary as it seems. Emyli Lovz pictured.
Emyli Lovz
Between 2011 and 2012, I went on 101 dates with 52 different men. It was all part of a social experiment that I'd devised while finishing my undergraduate degree at UC Berkeley.

At the time, I was a serial monogamist, and I was frustrated that I couldn't find the fairy-tale type love I'd seen in movies. So I decided to take a more "scientific" approach to romance.

The experiment involved going on a series of dates and documenting what made each one a success or a failure.

As the experiment progressed, dating got a lot easier. Specifically, I learned how to break the ice with acquaintances and total strangers, so that our first encounter wasn't awkward or stilted.

Today, I'm a dating coach, and I use the findings from my personal experiment to help my clients. Here are some of the tips I share with them when they ask about forging a connection on a first date.

1. Warm up your mouthpiece

Date #52 met me in my neighborhood. He drove 45 minutes to get there, which I thought was nice.

The problem? He barely spoke. It's hard to break the ice with someone who only gives you one-word answers.

I always tell my clients to warm up socially before a date. Go to a coffee shop and talk to the barista. Sign up for bootcamp at the gym. Heck, go to the grocery store and chat with the clerk if nothing else.

Whatever you do, get out of the house at least an hour or two before your date. It'll help calm your nerves and remind you that talking to new people isn't really all that scary.

Take a date or a new acquaintance to a dance class.
AP

2. Make the activity the ice-breaker

For date #53, I agreed to attend a Jiu-Jitsu class with a guy I'd met on OKCupid. Within the first five minutes of meeting, he had me mounted in a full straddle.

My blood was pumping, my endorphins were high, and we had full physical contact. All of that, and he didn't even have to buy me a drink!

The majority of my other dates had taken place in coffee shops and bars, but this one was different. We were laughing and having fun together right off the bat.

If you're comfortable choosing the venue for your first date, consider something where you'll be moving around and/or learning something new — like a dance class, for example.

You can even apply the same rule to meetings with professional contacts: Hold a walking meeting or go running together. It's a more natural way to bond than staring at each other over coffee cups.

3. Just be honest

Date #59 arrived late. We had an epically awkward hug, and then I stood in a funny position next to him while he ordered tea. But the worst part was that conversation fell flat because he was trying so hard to be sarcastic.

Don't try to be funny by saying things like, "Great outfit — did you go shopping in your mom's closet?" Instead, try asking a question like, "I've never seen a pair of shoes like those — where did you get them?"

As a general rule, I recommend avoiding the use of sarcasm on first dates (or first meetings with anyone) because it communicates insecurity and can make you seem mean. Remember: You don't have to be a stand-up comedian to impress the other person.