Now That’s What I Call Weekender, Vol. Whatever

Choice, quality nuggets from tomorrow’s section, designed to make you tear the paper apart to find the whole articles buried deep within the bowels of the Drive section or S.A. Life or wherever we’re buried this week. Or read them online now if you’re not into print. But don’t take your laptop into the john. That would be gross.

Quotes:

• “A lot of comics can’t pull off an insult style because they have real anger and real sort of hate, and I just know what’s inside, and I like everybody and I’ve got a good heart. And if the audience can’t see that, then they’re the (expletive) retards.” — Lisa Lampanelli, who’s at the Empire Theatre on Friday.

• “Oprah needed to become a pack leader. She already was one in the human world. Now she had to practice the kind of leadership a dog would understand.” — Cesar (“Dog Whisperer”) Millan, writing in his book “Cesar’s Way” on training Oprah Winfrey’s dog. He gives a multimedia seminar Saturday at the Majestic.

• “I wanted to make the kind of record that I loved by Willie McTell, Rev. Gary Davis and Robert Johnson.” — Peter Case, who’s at Casbeers Friday. Wow! Another fan.

Etc.

Band name of the week: Crotch on Fire, performing Friday at Bond’s 007. Probably inspired by a band member/wannabe athlete who made the mistake of taking a leak right after applying Icy Hot to an aching body part. Name-wise, the only thing better would have been Deep-Fried Crotch.

Worst band name of the week: The Amygdaloids, playing the Mind Science Foundation’s “Holiday State of Mind” party Saturday at the Blue Star. This falls into the So Bad, It’s Good category in that no one can pronounce it (for the record, if you think of the ‘y’ as an ‘i’, it becomes easier. Instead of thinking “Amy-what?,” it’s ah-MIG-dah-loid).

And trying to find out what the heck it means took lots of dictionary work and an initial misstep.

An amygdaloid is defined as “an igneous rock containing amygdales.” OK, what’s an amygdale? “Any of the small mineral masses … deposited in cavities in a solidified igneous rock, produced during its molten stage by expanding gas.”

Well, of course! I knew that. Would it surprise you that the band, which calls its music “heavy mental,” comprises four New York University scientists? And after all that dictionary work, further research (i.e., going to the band’s Web site) reveals that name actually comes not from hard rock but soft tissue — namely, the amygdala, an almond-shaped part of the brain. Which makes sense, since these folks, two old guys and and two younger women, all study brain function. And the descriptions of their music sound like research papers. Suggested cover: John Lennon’s “Mind Games,” of course.