Real Housewives of New Jersey: All Bets Are Off

After a long, long, long, day of blogging, I am going to pray that this last recap of the night is not as hard as RHOOC was, that episode was just terrifying. I am so glad Vicki and Tamra and everyone else is okay. I have to say I’m a bit shaken just watching all of that. Let’s see how the Felons by Bravo are doing. Last week was a very nice trip to the spa and everyone had a good time. Jacqueline reports that everyone got along. She is happy. Chris is cautiously optimistic.

I can’t with Melissa’s store problems. She seems to not want to sell any size but hers. It’s like it is her closet. Also she is not really the store owner. This is another fake storyline. Just like the garbage truck and everything else. Last I heard about the guy in that link was he was on the lam. The real owner is in the Bahamas telling her to take some time off from the fake job so she can enjoy her vacation.

To be honest, it is just nauseating seeing Teresa and Joe in this big house that fraud built. I don’t understand how you can steal almost $14 million dollars and keep the house and all of the furniture. Then the whole NYT bestseller crap is even more annoying. Is Bravo buying the book? Can there really be that many Teresa fans that can read?

Gia and Joe continue to fight. I think part of this is Gia starting to separate from her father. Joe is dealing with it all by drinking a lot. Teresa reminds us that she made memories and kept things nice and fake before she went in. Joe is kind of falling apart. He knows this may well be the last time he sees his family. Later, Joe and Teresa argue. Joe gets drunk and verbally abusive. Dolores checks on Teresa and she is really open with her. I’m shocked she didn’t yell at her for asking how they are managing so close to the self surrender date.

Gif Credit: RealityTVgifs

Poker Night

Chris Laurita is having the guys and Rosie over for some poker. Chris, Rosie, and Joe Gorga are all ready to play but Juicy Joe is late. They call and he is too hungover from the night before to make it. Rosie is very upset. She hasn’t talked to him in a long time. She bolts right after the phone call. Rosie takes it very personally. She feels like her family is shutting her out. Then Rosie changes her mind and comes back. Rosie really thinks Teresa might be telling him not to come see her. Rosie’s feelings were hurt because she wasn’t invited to the Giudice New Year’s Eve party. They call Teresa and she confirms Joe is home and that he is barely speaking to anyone at this point.

Siggy and Delores

Siggy is trying to teach Dolores how to open the mail and pay her own bills. Welcome to senior year of high school personal finance class. Teresa drops by to talk about how Joe is acting. Siggy tells her that Joe is scared. I had no idea women like this existed. Dolores says that Frank handling her bills is no different from handling a bookkeeper. Fun fact when I was a little kid I was already into words. At that time, bookkeeper was, and perhaps still is the only word in English that has the pairs of double letters in a row. I’m weird. I know. It’s late and I’m in the delirious stage.

Teresa and Gia

Gia is really sweet to Teresa, but she is very angry with her father. She says that he needs to go to prison because of the way he acts and talks and treats them. She is fed up and thinks it will be a good wakeup call for him to realize the importance of his family. This is both a bratty statement and a mature one all at once. It would make more sense coming from someone on the outside looking at things clinically. It’s not the appropriate response for a daughter. It’s one thing for us to want him to pay for his crimes. It’s another for Gia to be so nonchalant about his leaving. This to me indicates she really needs some therapy so that she has a safe place to have some emotions. If there is one thing Teresa has taught her it is to keep it fake all the time and act like nothing is happening. That is so unhealthy for a teenaged girl. Teresa’s response is that the whole jail thing will be easier the second time.

Milania is picking on Audriana and poor Audriana is starting to act out herself. These kids are sad to watch at this point. Teresa sends Audriana to bed. Milania always seems to get away with murder. I can’t remember a time Teresa corrected Milania.

Teresa’s Book Party

This whole episode, Joe’s drinking problem has been mention a million times. Part of this is to show that he should be allowed to go to the drug and alcohol program in jail that significantly cuts down his sentence. It does seem to be a real issue though. So of course the book launch is at a club where alcohol is served.

Teresa’s new white sparkly (fur?) coat matches the huge white limo they are going to the book launch in. How nice for her. There are actually two limos. One with Teresa& Joe and one with Melissa & her Joe. Chris, Jac, Siggy and Delores are in the other one. Joe gets a call from one of his friends who is a felon who wants to bring his 12-year-old to the bar. That would be two violations of Teresa’s probation. Teresa tells Joe this but he tells the guy he will get him in when he gets there.

Rino and the twins are there. E! News is there because, NBCu. Robyn and Christina the lesbian couple that were supposed to be housewives, or at least one of them were, are there. They got the boot from that after the upcoming trip to Stowe. They got into an altercation there that I believe turned physical, and that is only allowed on the black franchise. There, I said it. I was typing when this man strolled into the party and I had to go back to see who he was. I thought it was the mayor or someone very important. It’s Siggy’s husband. I want to look up what he does but I don’t have time.

Joe Giudice gets a text and goes outside. The schmarmy lawyer is there to keep the felon out. I was wondering where he was. Joe is drunk and argues with him and tells him to shut the fuck up. The convicted felon is screaming like a maniac at Joe. He’s drunk perhaps and very hostile. Teresa is oblivious to all of this and getting ready to make her speech. She calls on the microphone for Joe to come up with her. The felon is ranting like a lunatic about he mob and the government being unable to stop him from doing what he wants to do, which is apparently take a twelve-year-old boy to a bar. The lawyer goes inside to tell Teresa that Joe is outside fighting. Joe makes it inside. Teresa’s book is #2 on one of the NYT’s rankings. She is very emotional. The Pope’s book is number four. What a world we live in.

About tamaratattles

Comments

I find the cat-like purring of “ahhhh” by Dolores in her opening tag-line to be her best part of the season so far. Glad they finally introduced Robin and her wife Cristina on the show, even though they were at Teresa’s New Year’s Eve bash. I would much rather follow their storyline than Siggy’s. I see Andy has Dolores’ son shirtless in a feature on the Bravo site. Has he turned 18 yet?

Oh Gia. I can only think of a quote by Kurt Vonnegut from “Slaughterhouse Five”, in which he writes ““Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.” I see that party line being kept up. To which I have no response but, “Oh, Gia.”

Robyn and her wife should have been on the show period, she has a great personality next to Siggy and Dolores who I adore. I love Teresa and Melissa and Jaqueline is crazy but they really needed Robyn or Danielle because this season is missing something. Other than that great episode and looking forward to the remainder of the season.

I say a resounding NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Minky!!!!!!! And, the others will be soon to follow, if there aren’t some major casting shake ups (unlike, the addition of Siggy, Dolores, Shannon, Eileen, Lisa R, not to mention keeping Porsha & getting rid of Claudia)!!!

I had no idea that entering a drug and alcohol rehab program shortens length of stay! And for a moment I thought they were being “authentic” in showing Joe’s issues. God, is EVERYTHING so calculated? Thanks for bringing me back to reality!

I know that they are in a different section of the jail which is with the non violent offenders and they have access to twelve step programs and meetings. People try to get there because they feel like its ” safer”. Joe definitely has been out of control while slurping down the Vino before and he seems to be a bit of a mean drunk. I feel uncomfortable just watching them, I cant imagine how they feel.

I had a girlfriend who did time for SEC fraud. She got 4.5 years, but served 2, because after she got there, she started writing her petition, and again committed fraud by claiming she was an alcoholic. Did some rehab program while in, and presto- Released. You bet Joe is working that. They probably hired a “coach” for this, as most lawyers for white collar crimes don’t know crap about the incarceration/parole dance. If my mind serves, it is a correctional determination, so the judge doesn’t participate in sentence reduction. What a great system it is. FYI, the felon I know went on to own a bar.

If you are talking about how I said that only the black franchise keeps the violent housewives, I was surprised I only got one illiterate commenter who said I was racist and she was never coming back and was going to tell the whole world about me. At least I think that was what she was trying to say.Outraged illiterate people are funny.

Joe Giudice is beyond being an asshole – it’s very hard for him to camouflage his true personality now that Teresa is home from “camp” – there’s more filming being done in the house now. When she was gone, all they had to do was show scenes of him supposedly being a wonderful father, all to influence the courts and public opinion. Now, there’s nowhere for him to hide his drunkenness and real douchiness. The things he says to Teresa and the rude way he talks to Gia are difficult to watch – no wonder Gia is anxious to see him go. She’s been raised by her mother to pretend everything is always OK, but she’s old enough now to speak up and say what she really means. Joe and Teresa allow their children to speak to them in ways that I wouldn’t have liked my children to speak to me or my husband, so when Gia says things that seem disrespectful, she’s just saying what is in her heart. I think things will change a lot while Joe is gone – they might even realize that life is much more pleasant without him, but Teresa, being Teresa, will stand by him no matter what and keep on telling herself everything is fine Hope the girls come out of this OK – Gia is a sweet girl, and Milania has got away with murder from the time she was a baby – she could be a nightmare as a teenager – Teresa is going to have her hands full, and I really don’t think Joe is going to have nearly as much say in things as he believes.

I really can’t imagine the Guidice girls ever being happy. I hope they are..but what type of role models did they have.. A dad who drinks too much..who can’t drive them anywhere..no valid drivers license. Mom at “camp” for months…Maybe Teresa thinks her kids can’t read the book she just put out there? Next Dad is in the slammer for 4 years and will be shipped off to Italy at the end of his confinement.
I looked back at past seasons…when all was MONEY FURS VACATIONS.. MONEY.. Yeah buy whatever..
Then Teresa gets out…and guess what.. she’s hawkiing her books and not paying that much attention to all of her kids. poor Gaby….

Well I discount that T wrote any of her books,, and her IQ is less than Yogi Bear… Thank heavens she has a good attorney?

Joe in jail …………………….well welcome to the Apollo Nida …world of who cares!

I can imagine the girls being happy. Why not? Lots of kids come from homes with worse problems and they turned out okay. They have an extended family of people who love them. They will be fine, I hope. Their mom isn’t a drug addict. She feeds them properly. If they have to move into a 1,800 sq ft house, their mom would be a realistic role model than teach them it is okay to live without luxury.🌸🌸🌸

Joe’s comment about how he HAD money before he met her was interesting. The contempt he has for his wife is palpable. Tre is absolutely clueless, as usual. I think its disgusting the way she is showing off her “stolen” wealth. I don’t care if the limo was free or the furs are loaners……She simply incapable of getting it.

It’s interesting that everyone asked Teresa if she blamed Joe but not one has asked Joe if he blames Teresa. Perhaps some of the hostility is because Joe does blame Teresa? Without Tre, he may have done the same scam but probably at a lesser level. I really can’t see Joe guidice giving too much concern for onyx floors and designer handbags. Tre also signed up for the tv show.

I often wondered if that was the basis of some of juicy joes hostility towards Joe Gorga. Teresa is super competitive, particularly amongst her own. Remember her face and her comments on the Punta Cana trip when the Manzo boys were calling Melissa and Joe the hottest couple? When Joe Gorga kept the spec house and moved Melissa in – Teresa started applying pressure

Gia’s comments about how Joe needs some time in prison because he takes his family for granted were disturbing and warped.
Maybe it’s just immaturity, and that’s how children think, but if that is the case, it worried me even more thinking about all of the children who have parents in jail. So for whatever ways that a parent screws-up, maybe forgetting that your kid HATES jelly on her sandwich, then if they are sentenced for an unrelated, (real) crime, do kids think like this? That their parent “deserves” prison for stupid parenting mistakes?????? So by sending parents to prison are we creating this mindset for their kids to bring into the future? The weird thing is I naturally assumed the opposite. That children of convicts who are not criminally bad parents would naturally have a problem with the system or authority. Gia seems to be siding with authority but for her own personal childish judgments.

Teresa should have corrected her right there and then. You could see that she was shocked and did probe a little, but then like TT says, it was back to love & light…..dysfunctional. All she had to say was, “Daddy is not going to prison for being an asshole. It is not some kind of karma-thing, he was convicted of a crime and sentenced to prison.”

Kids, especially these days, are not stupid and naive. Maybe there is more to the relationship than is being shown? From what I have seen, Joe IS distant with his daughters. And DOES take the family for granted.

Dysfunctional families often hide what is really going on. I know when I was a kid, we presented as a typical “Leave it to Beaver” family. That was far from the truth. Although my father escaped arrest and jail, he more than deserved to be there. I BEGGED my mother to report him to police. AND to get a divorce. I was 9.

I agree with housewifehater, except Gia doesn’t really understand the realities of the prison that Joe is going to. She may know people whose parents went to prison, they went, they came back it’s whatever, that is all they know,.Teresa come back and it’s like she went to fat camp. She’s going to teach yoga, she’s fit and healthy. Seems like just a break from the family. Gia may look like an adult, and my have been thrust into an adult position but she is a child, and she ia a child in the most difficult part of childhood. She can’t be expected to make a lot of sense at this point.

Still, she should have had some discipline growing up rather than being Teresa’s best friend and been taught not to speak to her parents the way she does, regardless of their horrific nature.

I agree, TT. I also think Gia was witness to some behavior from her father that she felt was disloyal to her mother and damaging to the family. And she blames him, right or wrong, for this entire mess, including losing her mother for a year.
I seriously doubt it has anything to do with any trivial actions on Joe’s part.

I’m glad you wrote this. I fully agree. Gia is a kid and sees things in the short term. She just wants her family to be ok. And, we get a glimpse of how Joe treats Teresa when he is drinking. Kids are never ok with that.

IMO, it seems Gia has a problem with the way Joe is when he is drinking–that is when Gia left the room with that back and forth about Joe kicking her ass.

And, that! About that. I don’t know if he would lay a finger on any of them but the violent words that comes out of his mouth are horrible. He said he was going to hit Teresa’s head into the wall and kick Gia’s ass. I wouldn’t say he was serious and also would say he was kidding. Maybe just blowing off steam but … it is too much for me.

From the little bit we saw on the Teresa is at “camp” 3 episode special, Gia and Gabriella were taking care of the house and the two younger ones, not Joe. Gia has a reason to resent her father’s behavior. Also, Teresa acts like she blindly signed paperwork Joe gave her. I’m sure Gia has heard that. I’m not excusing her behavior /what she said, but she has had a difficult few years. And she’s a teenager.

Oh hell no. Remember the wrath of Teresa when Jaqueline and Caroline tried to talk to Gia about not being such a poor sport? Gia acted like a spoiled brat and in swoops Teresa to save her from the consequences. Ugh.

Omg, I’m 16 minutes in and joe just told Theresa to shut up or he’d slam her head up against the wall. If my husband ever said that to me he’d be sleeping on his parents couch indefinitely. Who talks like that? And who allows themselves to be talked to like that? Drunk or not (and he’s certainly quite drunk) that’s bologna.

You don’t have to be an uneducated, unemployed drunk to say things like that to your wife. Verbal abuse and physical abuse go on in all types of households. Abuse is endemic and it impacts people from all walks of life.

Like @Cat said, dysfunctional families like to hide their secrets. When you’re in the midst of it, the embarrassment of others knowing seems worse than the abuse itself.

Joe was in that house by himself for a year with the girls. There’s no telling how much time he actually spent with those kids save the three part series. I am sure that the extended family was doing most of the grunt work involved in raising four daughters. He can’t run around with other women now and his fear of prison has become painfully real. Joe definitely resents Teresa and while I know they were both guilty, I still find him to be the sleazier of the two parents. The fact that he was stupid enough to invite a mob related felon and his 12 year old son to the book-signing shows just what a scavenger he is.

I personally think it will be better for the four girls when he is gone.

I believe you, Tamara. I think that Joe’s experience is going to be a very difficult, ugly experience. I think that big, tough Joe who threatens to slam his wife’s head into the wall is in for a big, bad surprise when he goes to prison.

The cracks are more than showing at the felon’s house. I agree that seeing them getting to stay in that mansion is sickening. Teresa’s always trying to hide her feelings and wanting for everyone to only see the good stuff is taking a huge toll on this family. I could be wrong on this next point but I read somewhere you could buy a spot on the new york timesbestsellers list. Maybe for a short time just to say it was. Idk. I agree however, who wants to read her drivel? Sorry I mean her ghost-writers drivel.

I don’t believe you can “buy” a spot on NYT Bestseller List; however, it IS common practice for publishing houses to buy their own inventory to get them to place (and then sell the inventory they bought).

I am probably in the minority and that’s ok, I am used to it 🙂 but I enjoy these women so far. The prison story, regardless of how sordid it may be, is compelling. Watching a family go through this is good television.
The women this season seem to be a good fit, and I like the focus on family. And how fun to watch women actually cook and EAT.
Now the Melissa/Joe bit about Envy is a little silly. I mean, really, guys? A woman working outside the home has a host of pressures and split priorities? Ya don’t say! Old news and not the least bit believable.
TT, thanks for all your hard labor over Labor Day weekend! Good reading and good reporting!

That really bothered me too. What do her parents think about Joe threatening to hurt her on national TV? What if a boy said that to one of her daughters? It is never acceptable for a man to talk to a woman like that.

It is never acceptable for anyone to be abusive to anybody. These two, both Teresa and Joe, probably come from a background where abuse is normal. Unfortunately I’ve seen this kind of attitude first-hand, where a wife who gets smacked is thought to have been asking for it by being difficult or disobedient.

His behavior towards his children is deplorable. But he obviously can’t keep it together anymore. The reality of his situation is getting to him and he can’t be as good at keeping his rage to himself on camera like he used to. I’m not making excuses for Joe. He and Teresa are awful people.

When I first started commenting here, my opinion was that Teresa was like the 50’s housewife. Not the kink;) umm anyway… Teresa is not innocent. I think that it is both of their faults.
I could have went without the furbaby being put down. That is heartbreaking, no matter the reason.
Thank goodness you mentioned Robyn and Christina. I was wondering what was going on with them.

Everyone else has said the important stuff, so I just wanted to geek out over the Dorinda sighting at the book party. She’d probably fit right in with this crew, but I’m glad she’s around to spice up the NYC franchise.

Heartbreaking moment of the night was Gia lashing out at her dad. I have a feeling that she shouldered a heavy load physically and emotionally while her mom was gone.
Heartwarming moment of the night was Joe Gorga with his his kids. Yes, he gets bombastic at times…but they are truly his little heartbeats.

You can tell that Gia hates when her Dad has been drinking. I remember an old episode when her Uncle Joe and Grandpa Gorga where talking about having a drink and she tried to talk them out of it. Sad stuff.

I think the break from Joe might help Teresa make the hard decision to leave him. As Dolores said she might find her life is easier without him. Only time will tell. I think Teresa being the main caregiver of the girls plus her family support that the girls will be ok. Especially since Joe was drinking too much and starting to get mean. I would like to see her downsize and sell some of that hideous furniture….but after her lake house and rental sold for only $100 each…I guess she might as well stay in that big house.

I’m Italian. My Mom is. My Dad is. They both always worked. So have I.
I wanna punch Joe Gorga in the throat. Seriously. Heat up some soup. Maybe, order take-out with your millions.
These story lines are boring me. And grossing me out: