May 29, 2016

Uniform tips for high fliers

THERE WILL BE THOSE among us who
aspire to high office in sailing associations and yacht clubs. It is to these
worthies that I dedicate today’s column

I can imagine how difficult it must
be to maintain a smart appearance in one’s best club blazer and pants while
confronted with the rigorous requirements of running a small yacht, such as
servicing the engine or unplugging the blocked head.Neverthless, one needs to set an example at
all times, convenient or not, for other
boaters to follow; and one also needs to be prepared at all times to appear on
the foredeck at short notice in the appropriate attire, should the club
commodore happen to cruise by and requirethe customary salutes and obeisances.

It is with this in mind that I quote
some helpful advice from a book named The
Naval Officer’s Guide, by Commander Arthur A. Ageton,, U.S. Navy. It is
readily apparent from the book that naval personnel experience exactly the same
difficulties as amateur sailorsdo in
keeping their uniforms neat and tidy.

Here, for a start, is how to look
after some important components of your uniform:

“Care of Gold Lace — Gold lace will
rapidly tarnish and deteriorate if in contact with, or hung near, any substance
containing sulphur, such as rubber or ordinary manila and kraft wrapping paper.

“To Remove Tarnish from Gold Lace —
Gold lace may be cleaned by dipping it in a solution of potassium cyanide and
rinsing it thoroughly with water. The use of potassium cyanide is very
dangerous, as it is a powerful poison, and extreme care must be exercised.
Never under any consideration use it when hands bear cuts or scratches. In any
case it is far safer to have an experienced tailor clean gold lace.”

Once you have your gold lace under
control, it’s time to turn an eye to your uniform buttons. Here what Commander
Ageton has to say:

“To Clean Buttons That Have Turned
Green — Buttons sometimes turn green when the gold plating is worn off and the
copper base becomes covered with green copper carbonate due to exposure to
moist air. This can be removed by rubbing gently with acetic acid or any
substance containing this acid, such as vinegar or Worcestershire sauce,
followed by a thorough washing in fresh water and drying.”

The book contains similarly helpful
advice on how to remove many other substances likely to soil or disfigure
maritime uniforms, including oil, grease, kerosene, paint, wax, iodine, fruit,
and chocolate. If you should be interested in the details of how to deal with
any of these problems, simply let me know.

Meanwhile, here is a final piece of
advice from the book that will prove most useful to those whose uniforms are
showing embarrassing signs of age, especially in the nether regions:

“To Remove Shine from Serge Uniforms
—The spot to be treated should be
steamed by laying a wet cloth over it and pressing with a hot iron and then
rubbing it very gently with a piece of ‘00’ sandpaper or emery cloth. This
should be done by a regular tailor.”

Today’s
Thought

We
are all Adam’s children, but silk makes the difference.

— Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia. No. 5425

Tailpiece

Ever wonder why the average man
prefers women with beauty to women with brains?

It’s because the average man can see
better than he can think.

(Drop by every Monday, Wednesday,
Friday for anotherMainly about Boats
column.)