Have any of you ever had a family that always seemed to have you walking on egg shells?

Well I have a family, lets call them the "Discount Please" family.

The family overall is very nice, always on time with payments, never picks up late, keeps kids home sick (most of the time) and the kids are a delight.

But every week it is always something else. One week there is complaint that the child is not getting enough food and that at 11pm the child is asking to eat food again. Kid goes to bed around midnight, sometimes later. The complaints will last all week about this topic.

The next week, the DCM will make a statement like: "I am not sure what is going on, but when DCG woke up this morning the first thing she did was ask if she had to come to your house and then started scream crying when I said yes. What is going on over here?" Again the complaints about this issue will last all week.

Like I said every week it's little things that are said that just leave me up in the air wondering if the family is happy or not. I do go through great lengths to make my clients happy, so long as I am not feeling taken advantage of.

Every night when I go to bed I really feel like I am walking on egg shells and am just waiting to get a term notice from the family.

I feel like asking the family if I am doing something wrong, this way I don't have to always feel this way, wonder and assume things..

What would you say to a family like this? Have you ever experienced this?

I am going thru this right now. Constant comments from the mom like she thinks I am an idiot or something. I think, if you really feel that way about me, why do you send your child over here? I am hanging in there for now but will be terming a part timer in the next couple of months. This may be the family if we can't get past this.

At first I though, HEY! You got the family that I terminated several months ago! and then I read the part that said they they made their payments on time, pick up on time and kept their sick child home and then I realized ... nope, not the same family .

So yes I've been in a similar situation to yours but mine was worse. The first thing that I would advise you to do is just be honest and up front with her. Point out that the child eats every few hours at daycare (and state the times) which is what the children need to stay fueled and that the child gets picked up at {time} and doesn't go to sleep until midnight or so which means that the child is awake for another {number of hours} without eating. Of course the child is hungry. Suggest that if she doesn't want her child to be hungry at home she either put her child to sleep at a healthy time so that her body is more in tuned to what it's supposed to be like or that she feed her an alternating meal and snack every 2-3 hours. It's really just common sense but some people really lack it .

Then add that you work very hard to make sure that each and every child is well taken care of and that you have reason to believe that DCM is not happy with your services. Ask her for specific things that she can point out to you that she did not approve of. Bring up the part about the child saying that she doesn't want to go to daycare and (if it's true) tell her that when she is at daycare that she doesn't show any signs of not wanting to be there. You can also suggest that the comments she makes to you and the vibes that she put out about her concerns with daycare can possibly be picked up by her child and that it could possibly be a reason why the child doesn't want to go to daycare? She could possibly be picking up on the tension of the mother.

It's also quite possible that if you hold a more structured program and have rules that the daycare children must follow it could be confusing to the child if there are no rules and no structure at home KWIM? If DCM lets the child run wild at home for example and you correct the children when they run in the house, jump on the furniture, play with their food etc. it may be difficult for the child to adjust to the sudden changes in freedom and cause resistance. You can bring these issues up with DCM and see what she says and go from there.

It's important that you tell her that her comments make you feel like she doesn't appreciate the hard work and your dedication towards her child and that it makes you feel like she doesn't trust you. A successfull and positive parent/provider relationship is based on trust and maybe she needs to think about whether your DC is really a good choice for her??

what time does the child leave your daycare?? If they are leaving at 5-6pm and are hungry at 11pm ummmm, maybe mom should feed them???

and I'd say child is probably crying about having to come because they didn't get enough sleep - if they are going to bed at midnight and mom is waking them to come to your house of course they are going to complain - they didn't get enough sleep and they want to stay in bed.

Honestly, I would just call her out on it right when she makes a comment. I think if you have a reasonable/logical answer to her "complaint" each time she will eventually stop.

and I'd say child is probably crying about having to come because they didn't get enough sleep - if they are going to bed at midnight and mom is waking them to come to your house of course they are going to complain - they didn't get enough sleep and they want to stay in bed.

Yep. This is another possible reason that I didn't think about before. I'd be cranky too if I was running on very little sleep.

I haven't been doing daycare for very long. But my first full timer grew my backbone.

DCM had me walking on egg shells for months. Terming Comments, wanted to "approve" all of my new daycare children, etc... All the while she left her 8 mth old bb with me for 50+ hours per week. When I found out that she didn't even work full time I grew my backbone and termed the mom. And they always paid on time and in advance. I was able to replace the income with in a few weeks.

What I learned from that dc family was to never believe that I had to put up with anything that was making me miserable.

You don't deserve to be miserable. You will be able to replace the income. If you are so miserable that you are going to bed worried and thinking about this family IT ISN'T WORTH IT!!

I haven't been doing daycare for very long. But my first full timer grew my backbone.

DCM had me walking on egg shells for months. Terming Comments, wanted to "approve" all of my new daycare children, etc... All the while she left her 8 mth old bb with me for 50+ hours per week. When I found out that she didn't even work full time I grew my backbone and termed the mom. And they always paid on time and in advance. I was able to replace the income with in a few weeks.

What I learned from that dc family was to never believe that I had to put up with anything that was making me miserable.

You don't deserve to be miserable. You will be able to replace the income. If you are so miserable that you are going to bed worried and thinking about this family IT ISN'T WORTH IT!!

See I wish that this was true for me. For the first time in years I have had spots open and have not had any "REAL" legit calls to interview for the spots.

I also know that several daycares in my area are closing down. One that I know of is doing very well, but they take state assistance. I don't take state assistance and have no plans to start accepting it.

FOr the first time ever, I am actually at my clients mercy. AND I think they all know it.
But all of them are treating me with great respect except this one.

I think we've all had "That" family in daycare or one very similar. I had one for a yr that I termed almost to the very date of when they started. I tried all the things that where mentioned and although things got better it would only change for a couple weeks before something else would occur. I think what totally got me is the lack of respect and the way that parent talk to me. Nothing is worth that kind of money to be disrespected. I firmly believe God is watching out for each and everyone of us. Yes, with the money I lost we had to scrounge back some and not do things we would of normally done with the money but I wasn't willing to have allow anyone to treat me that way specially when I don't ask for much. I don't get paid enough to have someone treat me like that. It is extremely hurtful to have someone continue to question, condescend and put you down. I knew that by letting this family go I'd be losing about $500-700 a month. But I had faith that I'd find a better family for my daycare and I did. It took me 4 months to find a new child but it wasn't just a life saver for me but for her as well. She had just had a awful experience at a previous daycare and I had watched her daughter for a wk as just a way to help out and a couple weeks later was asked if I'd be willing to take her on full time. This will happen to you too. Start putting adds up, at the library, grocery stores, coffee shops, CL, Care.com you name it. Vanessa had a lot of good suggestions on how to approach her with her behavior....it is exactly what I did with my old family and it only changed their behavior for a couple wks before new situations occurred but I'll tell you I kept growing my back bone and eventually I termed bc there is only so much you can say and do to make a family happy and even then it's really never enough.