Is Your Marriage Losing Its Spark?

The spark of love and romance does not have to fade away. If your marriage is filled with conflict and emotional distance - if your partner seems more like just a friend than a romantic partner - couples counseling may help in restoring love and desire to your relationship.

You're pretty sure marriage is not supposed to be like this...

If you're like most people looking at this website, you are probably thinking that something is wrong with your relationship. It shouldn't be this painful...there should not be so many fights. You should feel more loved and cherished by your partner.

Have you ever wondered if it's possible to repair your marriage? Would you like to build a more deeply loving relationship with your partner? You can learn how to get your needs met, improve your marriage, enjoy better communication, experience your home as a sanctuary, and work together in parenting your children. As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I help individuals, couples and families achieve a more satisfying life. Couples sometimes settle for being miserable. I recommend that you don't just settle - come in to counseling and learn the secrets to more happiness and fulfillment.

About Couples Counseling

When a relationship has become strained or distant and you are not feeling close to your partner, you may feel hopeless that things will ever change. I believe both you and your spouse want to feel understood and that your needs will be met and respected. I think both of you want a happy and loving environment that you come home to at the end of the day. When there is too much alienation or conflict, it may be time to see a therapist for couples counseling. Counseling may help improve empathy and understanding. It will help both of you talk to each other, and will help you listen to what is being said. Counseling can help you and your partner move beyond a pattern of conflict and return to love.

Issues that come up in couples therapy may include anger management, sexual problems, money issues, past hurts that never got resolved, affairs, anxiety and depression issues, alcohol and substance issues, and relationship with family and in-laws.

What I have been finding is that husbands and wives are not listening to each other. They are not really communicating effectively. There is hope -- men and women can listen to each other with understanding and caring.

It takes the average couple six years to come in to couples counseling -- after the time they first think they should. This is emotional pain that you don't have to go through... if you seek out help sooner.

We are not taught how to have a happy relationship in school. There are no required classes in how differently men and women experience the world. But is is dramatically different. Yes...I know...in some ways it is very similar. But it is the differences that are crucial to understand. In couples counseling you will get the training they never provided in school. Training to know how to understand men, successfully handle women and their feelings...keep your partner happy, and get your needs met too.

By the way...there does seem to be a point of no return...where it is too late to repair a marriage. Don't wait until you get to this point. Take action now. There is a saying: "Fortune favors the bold". Be bold and get the support you need to repair your relationship.

Cheating and Affairs

When an affair is discovered, the couple experiences what may be the most painful event in the relationship. While the partner who cheated may not realize it at first, trust has been absolutely shattered. Many couples do want to discuss what happened, repair the relationship and recover from the shock and damage to the marriage. It is possible to recover from this event, but it is usually difficult and painful. Many couples find it helpful to work with a couples counselor to repair the damaged trust, figure out what went wrong in the relationship prior to the affair, and strengthen the relationship for the future.

Are you longing for more love or attraction?

Or are you longing for more sensuality and romance? I work with you to help you understand the loss of love and attraction between you and your partner and then we sort out exactly what you can do to fix things. Fixing things includes better communication, learning how to do things differently, and making changes that restore love, affection, attraction, harmony and good will towards each other. You will actually make changes right there in the therapy office, and then you will have plenty of opportunities to practice at home between sessions. And you will then have a better chance for success and happiness in your marriage.

To contact me:

Call me if you would like to talk about therapy, or would like to schedule an appointment. You can reach me at either: 707-583-2305 in Sonoma County or 415-339-7890 in Marin County. You can also reach me by email. If you are contacting me to schedule an appointment, be sure to let me know which of my offices you would prefer.

Testimonials:

Here's a recent letter from a client (names have been changed to protect privacy):

Hi Don,

I've been meaning to write for a while, just to tell you that the time
we spent with you was very helpful and in a lasting way. I would
recommend you to anyone, and rather than just drift away without a
word I thought I should tell you that.

Jane and I have had some rough patches since we last saw you, but on
balance, our relationship has improved, and just lately I would say
that our marriage is about as good as I could hope for a marriage to be.

You are gifted at what you do and, just to give you some unsolicited
feedback, I would say that your sense of humor is a surprisingly
strong component of how you make things work in that setting. I don't
know if you make use of things like testimonials or references, but
you could certainly look to me for either.

So, thank you for your efforts. Jane and I both appreciate that we
were fortunate to find you, and we're doing very well.

Donald Wallach offers couples counseling and individual therapy to those living in Marin and Sonoma County. He helps clients find solutions to marital problems in their relationships. His office is in Petaluma and serves the surrounding communities including Cotati, Rohnert Park, Novato, Santa Rosa and Penngrove. He enjoys helping others have happier relationships and more fulfilling lives.