Remember how I said I’d explain my hiatus later, well, it’s later… I’m a good person. Ask anyone. However, I can’t help but be suspicious that I’ve pissed off some higher power whose main objective for all of eternity is kicking the shit out of me…well, honestly, with all the meds I take, that’s the […]

You know when you read about some awesome thing that happens to other people but couldn’t possibly happen to you. You’re happy for them and all but secretly hope – Someday, maybe, I will be writing about how this happened to me. Well, for me, that day is today, bitches! My 1st Annual Recap of Twisted […]

It’s been over two months – I know, I’ll explain* later – but today, it’s Christmas (sort of – at least it’s still December). Happy Holidays! We’re back in Austria to celebrate the season. I love this place. We got here in time to celebrate Christmas Eve. The guests of the hotel gather around and […]

Today, I was going to post something about how I’ve been in a funk and how I feel all crummy and how having diseases sucks up the place (alert the presses)…blah, blah, cry me a river, blah. I was typing away when I get a text from my niece to call my sister at work. […]

Television and I have a very long history. There are those that warn of the evils of TV but truth be known, TV made me smarter. I can still recite the preamble to the Constitution, know the process for becoming a law, get the function of a conjunction, and I know we were suffering until […]

You guys! My husband gave me a new laptop for my birthday! Two weeks early! Probably because he loves me but MAYBE because he was tired of me complaining about my old crappy laptop (which was also Rachel’s old crappy laptop, so I had a hand-me-down-ancient-practically-etching-on-stone laptop that wasn’t even good enough for a poor […]

You know how I keep saying that I’m feeling better? I’m such a liar. In the past month, I’ve had an upper respiratory infection, throat ulcers (ewwww), a “boil-like” skin infection (I know, disgusting. It felt like someone left an iron on my abdomen) and several wicked migraines. Seriously!? I mean, COME ON! Enough […]

This morning at 4 am, I was sleeping and minding my own business when the phones started screaming at me. Flash Flood Warnings!!! Every 5 minutes! “Ok, I got it, already. Stop yelling at me. I live on a hill for fuck sake and I’m SLEEPING. Jeez.” Apparently, 7.5 inches of rain fell in […]

I fell off the planet for over a month. I’ve been visiting Shitville. It sucks and it does not get my seal of approval as a vacation destination. Every summer I get a high voltage cortisone shot, this shot gives me a glimpse into an almost normal existence for about a month. It’s my happy. […]

The next time I say something about a cortisone shot making me all super-powered, I need for someone to drive to Arkansas and slap the shit out of me. Who’s gonna take point on that? For some inexplicable reason, I decided that it was time to redecorate Rachel’s room. Probably because I’m jacked up […]

About Julie

I’m the chick. The handsome guy is my husband, Volker. I was raised in a tiny town exploring creek beds and fishing holes in Northeast Oklahoma. He was raised in a large metro area in Germany exploring museums and all of Europe. It’s almost the same. Ten years ago he loaded up the truck and moved to Bentonville; Arkansas, that is, swimming pools and Wal-Mart. Read More