The Venus Files

Monday

I'm so excited to announce that our second giveaway spectacular is officially underway!! This time around we will be giving one lucky reader the fabulous Orchid G--an excellent G-spot vibrator from our wonderful friends at Babeland Toys.

The Orchid G has a slim neck and a cleverly angled head that is large enough and hard enough to stimulate even the most stubborn G-spots...This Babeland "Moregasm Toy of the Month" can be enjoyed by novices and pros alike; if you've never found your G-spot, this vibe will help you find all that you've been missing! The Orchid G is made of hard plastic, is 8" long, and has a girth of 1 3/8" at its widest point. Check out our review of the Orchid G here!

Contest rules!!
Mandatory--Send me a message--here, on FB, or on Twitter-- on why you would be the best recipient of this fabulous toy, and be sure to include an email/FB name/twitter name for contact!

--Retweet this contest on Twitter--often! "Give your G-Spot some love with an Orchid G vibrtor, courtesy of @Babeland_Toys & @ValentinaVenus http://bit.ly/fGW3cr"
--or make up your own tweet, just be sure to link this page!

Send me the links on your Twitter postings, please/thanks...

A Winner will be announced here at the end of next week...Good Luck, and Happy Orgasming!

Thursday

The Slimeline vibrator is a Babeland all-star, and it’s not hard to see why it is a favorite for many customers. It’s simple classic design is reminiscent of vibrators of old; completely non-threatening for a newbie, and strong enough to be enjoyed by a seasoned toy aficionado. The Slimline is 8” long with 1 ¼” girth, in a shiny hard plastic. The vibe is controlled by a twist base, that increases the speed and intensity of the vibrations. The hard plastic caries the vibrations right to the tip of the vibe for pin-point precision. The Slimline is powered by two C batteries—be sure to remove them after use, I found that they will drain pretty quickly if left in the vibe. And…that’s pretty much it! This vibe is simple in design AND function. If you need a lot of bells and whistles to get off with, this isn’t the product for you!

So Does it Work?
I will admit to being VERY skeptical when I received the Slimline . It was packaged in a plain, clear sleeve, and I didn’t know if this was because I was receiving this from Babeland for review, or if this was the actual way this vibe is packaged…let’s just say the simplicity and no-frills aesthetic of the vibrator was echoed in its packaging. Upon inspection, I initially was very disappointed with the look and feel of this vibe. The hard plastic feels thin and flimsy to the touch, and my first impression was that this was a product that would break on you—fast. I DID like that there wasn’t a tremendous amount of girth to this vibe, and I was intrigued by the slightly pointed tip—I’ve noticed that some reviewers did not like the point, feeling it was, in fact, too pointy for insertation, but that ended up being one of my favorite parts of the vibe. It made insertation easy, and was awesome for getting very direct vibrations on my clit.

My initial skepticism with this vibe was lessened considerably after the first time I used it. A little Babelube (or your lube of choice) made the hard plastic of the Slimline slippery and glossy, and insertation was easy. I was very impressed with the intensity of vibration this toy provided, especially considering it seemed so flimsy to start with. The vibrations could be easily felt during insertation, and were even better when applied directly to my clit. This toy is never going to make me cum (I DO need bells and whistles, apparently!)but it was a very enjoyable ride.
A few things to note about this vibe—as I mentioned previously, the batteries absolutely need to be removed after use, otherwise you will find yourself juiceless when you’re jonesin’ for some battery-operated loving. I also found that this vibe heated up a bit more than I would have liked, considering I didn’t use it for all that long, but I suppose that is to be expected with such a thin plastic. The first time I used the Slimline, I would have rated very quiet—it was virtually silent under the covers—but with subsequent use it has gotten louder and louder. The batteries seem to rattle around in the casing, and while I was originally able to rectify this by taking them out, putting them back in, and tightening the cap, that method no longer works. So this is now a super noisy vibe for me. And I don’t mind super noisy vibes! I have plenty of them! BUT…if I am going to sacrifice potential privacy for a super noisy vibe, I expect it to thrust and rotate inside of me while working my clit to an orgasmic frenzy. I expect the sheets to be soaked and to feel satisfied and exhausted. I expect super noisy dual motors…but super noisy in a no-frills, basic in-and-out I-still-to-rub-my-clit-myself vibrators are not acceptable. And that is a real shame, because with slightly better, sturdier construction, the Slimline would be a go-to vibe.

The Goods
--Powerful vibrations easily felt
--Slightly pointed tip is great for the clit
--Super inexpensive, great for beginners not wanting to make an investment purchase

The Bads
--Simple design may be TOO simple for experienced users
--Slightly shoddy design makes it NOISY as all get out
--Flimsy feeling

The Slimline vibrator from Babeland Toys is a great choice for the sex toy newbie—the simple, easy to operate design and size is non-threatening, and a great way to open the door for future vibrator exploration…but for the experienced user, the simple design and relatively short quality-life may disappoint.

“Maybe he's a eunuch?" put in the actor helpfully. We were staring at the package for the Sportsheets Neoprene Thigh Harness that was currently making its home in the center of my dining room table. The front of the package showed a M/F couple with him wearing the thigh cuff; a dildo standing out from the cuff. The woman was straddling his leg, her body just above the dildo, head already thrown back in ecstasy.
"Maybe they're just open to trying new things" I told him peevishly, smacking his arm.
"Maybe..." he said dubiously."No...no, I think he's definitely a Ken doll. Now THIS, this make so much more sense" he exclaimed spinning the package to its side, where two females were pictured using the thigh cuff. “If you and Michelle use this thing, I want to watch,” he added getting up to leave. I told him he would be the first to know if Michelle and I used it, but that HE was going to be my test subject that night.

That evening before he came back, I pulled the thigh harness out to examine without the Actor’s colorful running commentary. The thing that struck me about the Sportsheets thigh harness was how amazingly unsexy it was. It closely resembled a knee brace, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be reminded of the tennis court—or worse, gym class—during sexy time. The structure of the harness is very basic: It’s a wide, neoprene cuff with two wide Velcro straps, and a neoprene-covered O-ring in the center. Put your dildo of choice through the center hole, put the harness around your thigh, and tighten Velcro closures until secure. I was initially a bit skeptical about the Velcro—how snug could Velcro possible hold, after all? The answer: REMARKABLY well. The Velcro closures were nice and snug, and for being a very light-weight apparatus, it holds the dildo in place extremely well. I did not, at any point during our use, worry that the dildo was slipping or sagging. So…good job, gym class cuff! You might not be sexy to look at, but your simple design is a winner!

Several important things to note about the dildo—first and foremost, the thigh harness does NOT come with one. I realize this probably seems self-explanatory to anyone that actually reads the description of the product, but there are some folks out there that buy based on pictures! Secondly, the biggest dildo this harness will be able to accommodate is 1.5” in width. This is just fine for someone like me, that prefers things to be petite, but for you size queens, this may be a deal-breaker.
Clean-up is a cinch with the Thigh Harness; just toss in the washing machine. I would imagine that repeated washings will eventually break down the integrity of the Velcro, but it’s sturdy enough to start with that it would probably last for quite a while. This harness says it will accommodate a thigh up to 21” around—as a size 12/14, I am able to comfortably wear this in the middle of my leg. I’ve seen other reviews state that it will, in fact fit a larger thigh than stated, so I can safely recommend this to my fuller-figured sisters.

So does it work?
In a word—yes. Oh yes. The actor insisted he felt silly with a dildo strapped to his thigh when his own erection was a mere few inches away, but he stopped complaining when I mounted the dildo. I was able to bounce on his leg while simultaneously stroking his cock, and the whole experience was just very, very hot. We didn’t get a chance to swap places that night, but we are looking forward to me using the harness/dildo on him very soon. I can’t think of any couple combination that this wouldn’t be a good toy for—M/M, M/F, F/F…everyone can find a way to incorporate this into playtime.
The Goods
--simple construction, and ease of use
--easily washed, seems very durable for the price!
--holds dildo in place remarkably well; you won’t need to stop and constantly readjust with this harness!

The Bads
--Rather limited on the size of dildo this can accommodate; if you’re using this for anal play, that probably won’t be an issue, but for size queens, there will be disappointment ahead!
--Looks like a support brace; if you need aesthetics to be in the mood, this might not do it for you…unless you had a thing for your middle school gym teacher!

I would highly recommend the Sportsheets Thigh Harness to anyone looking to incorporate some fun new positions or role-reversal play into their sex lives...and at just $32 from Babeland, this really is a steal. This is a product that will last and last...and when it finally gives, you'll be hastily replacing it! Thanks as usual to our friends at Babeland Toys for providing this product in exchange for an honest review!

Tuesday

When Babeland offered the Remote Vibe Panty for review, I jumped at the opportunity. I had been wanting to try them, and I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to let Kelly have some fun with me. Since things have been a bit stressful at work lately, I figured a sexy, buzzy day was just what we needed. I got us each a pair, we swapped remotes, and wore them on a Friday afternoon.

The Babeland Remote Vibe Panty is a wireless vibrating egg powered by two N batteries (it comes with four.) The egg is 2 1/3” x 1 ¼”. (I’m calling it ‘the egg’ because that is pretty much what it looks like-size included.) The egg is operated by a small wireless remote powered by one 23A 12v battery (comes with 2) that operates on a 16 foot range. The remote is about the size of an average garage door opener, and has two small buttons--off and on/mode--that, while small, are clearly defined and not likely to cause confusion when changing modes. The egg is worn inside of a pouch in the satin side-tie panty. The panties themselves are unsized--the side-ties make them adjustable, and the Babeland website says they accomodate 25'' to 65'' hip size. The egg itself has 10 modes you can cycle through...
1. low constant vibe
2. medium constant vibe
3. high constant vibe
4. steady pulsing high vibrations
5. 1 long pulse, 3 short pulses-high
6. steady pulses that increase in speed to jack-rabbit pulses-high
7. low vibe followed by high pulses
8. super low vibe that escalates to high pulses
9. super low that escalates to high constant vibration
10. super low vibe followed by high jack-rabbit pulses

Whew! That'll give your clit quite a workout!! The noise level on this is pretty loud when it's sitting out on the table, but when it's actually tucked into its little pouch the noise is significantly lower. This is fine at home—couldn’t be heard through a closed door...but where’s the fun in that? Worn out in public, this vibe should be virtually silent if you're in a noisy environment (a club, bar, crowded sidewalk) but you might want to skip it in your office cubicle.
Some of the cons we found with this product—
The panties are sort of hard to get on. This is coming from two women that aren’t used to wearing side ties, though...if that’s what you’re sportin’ normally, these will be no problem! Kelly used her thighs to squeeze the crotch in place while trying to tie the sides; I found it easier to actually lie down and put them on; we each had to really work hard at making the ties even. As far as the ‘one size fits most’ sizing of the panties...Kelly has narrower hips and a flat butt, while I am ALL big tits and big hips. She found that they fit her well, but thought they shifted around too much; I HATED the way they fit. My hips, while generous, still fall well within the 25’’-65’’ range these panties are supposed to accommodate, but they just did not fit me well at all. But never fear! I found that the egg, when placed inside my regular panties and tucked against my labia, stayed in place remarkably well! Huzzah!

I have read many complaints about battery drainage for this product, and we can add our voices to that lot. The batteries were placed in the egg at night and packed into the work bag; they were dead by morning. Fortunately I packed the spares (it seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy that 2 sets are given with the product.) No problems with the batteries in the remote, but they should be removed from the vibe when not in use.
The egg itself is a little conspicuous while in the panties. The day we tested, I had on leggings and a tunic; fortunately the tunic covered my crotch, otherwise it would have looked like I was packing a nice...package. **When I discarded the panties and tucked the egg into my labia against my clit, it was virtually invisible--and MUCH more fun! My clit appreciated the direct stimulation more than having the vibe in the panties!

So Does it Work?
We traded remotes, thinking we’d be able to operate each other’s vibes...don’t even ask me why it didn’t occur to us that we were using the SAME PRODUCT and that our little plan wouldn’t work so well... Needless to say, my remote (that she had) changed my setting—but it changed hers as well. while changing her setting, I would occasionally turn mine off. It ended up being fun anyways; we were randomly changing each other’s speeds all day. **Note: we stayed within 20 feet of each other most of the day, but the few times we did stray farther, the remote stopped working as promised. I’ve seen other reviewers complain that the remote wouldn’t work unless there was a clear path to the person wearing the vibe, but we didn’t have this problem.

This toy is a LOT of fun. It did not get us off, but it did make us horny, horny, horny. We loved the different settings , and had fun turning each other on all day. We found that sensations were more potent while moving around, and I really appreciated some of the pulsation patterns. This toy didn't make us cum, but it made us wet, and part of the turn-on was knowing how horny we were making each other. And I can't say that this toy won't do the job for you if you happen to be sensitive--at one point I was sitting at my desk and a certain pattern hit my clit at *just* the right spot. I started grinding against my chair, and if the vibe had just a smidgen more power, I would have cum right there. It left me DYING to have my clit sucked on though, and I suppose that's the point of this kind of toy--to set up the desire for hot sex to follow! I was so horny that l left the vibe on in the car on the way home, and texted The Actor that I was coming over. My clit was ready to explode from the all-day teasing, and I was barely through the door when I was gasping at him "Suck...clit...NOW!!!" He was impressed with how wet I already was as he licked me, and that was completely thanks to the Remote Panty Vibe.

The Goods
--Great for play, fun to use with a partner...might not send you to the moon, but it'll get you into the astronaut suit!
--Easy to operate, great variations in the pulsation patterns

The Bads
--Batteries drain super easily, and MUST be removed when not in use.
--Vibe may leave a noticeable bulge in your pants!! No leggings with this toy!!
--Panty may or may not fit to your liking...but the vibe can be tucked into a air of regular panties with little difference

The Remote Vibe Panty is a super fun toy that is perfect to spice up your date night...Give your partner the control and enjoy!! Thanks to our good friends at Babeland Toys for providing us with this awesome toy in exchange for a fair review!

Sliquid Pink Lemonade--graciously sent to us by our good friends at Babeland Toys--is a slick, glossy, tasty ride. Sliquid is known through the lubricant industry for being super body-friendly with its glycerin and paraben-free formulas, and this product is no exception. Sliquid products are 100% vegan friendly, and being water-based, they’re safe to use with all of your silicone toys. Win!
This particular Sliquid product, Sliquid Pink Lemonade, contains lemon zest and grapefruit flavoring for a citrusy zing on your girlie bits! Or maybe a fruit-flavored blow job? You can get creative! It’s an especially good product to introduce to a partner who is a bit too vanilla... (Get it?! Don’t worry...I’ll be here all night!) The best part is that you won’t have to worry that you’re putting anything bad for you on your most sensitive spots.

In the interest of full disclosure, I was not super excited about this product after the first time I tested it. My experience was not all bad, though. I thought the consistency of Sliquid Pink Lemonade was fantastic—that’s been my experience with other Sliquid products as well. The formula is non-sticky and says that it is “designed to emulate your body’s own natural lubrication,” and it’s no lie. I’ve had experiences with other lubes that seem almost TOO ‘slick’ and artificial feeling; that is certainly not the case with Sliquid. This lube has an almost silky texture that is very consistent with the natural feeling of your own girlie juice.

My biggest problem with Sliquid is that it does NOT last as long you may want. Yes, yes—it’s a water-based lube and therefore can be re-activated with a little water...but really? Who wants to get up in the middle of doing the deed to “re-liquefy?”

Then there was the taste factor...I found the Pink Lemonade to be less pink lemonade tasting and more...lemon Pledge tasting. Not sure about you, friend, but I don’t want my hoo-ha tasting like something reminiscent of furniture polish. But I just can’t trust my own judgment...so I brought the stuff to work and let the girls there give it a try!
The verdicts:
Sheena & Brandy thought it tasted soapy. Kelly & Katie each liked the taste initially, but disliked the immediate after-taste--Possibly because of the aspertame?
Susan disliked the taste AND the consistency—she screamed out, and I quote, “It feels like cum!”
That’s a good thing, right?!

My reaction upon retrying it was not much different than it had been the first time—While the Pink Lemonade flavor is not UNpleasant, it’s not exactly something that leaves you craving more. And when someone has their face buried in my cunt, I want them begging for more—Not rushing the job to be free of the furniture polish flavor!

So Does it Work?
I tried out Sliquid Pink Lemonade during solo play first—better to enjoy the feel without the taste, I figured! Sliquid lubricants remain one of my favorite brands. The Sliquid Pink Lemonade was perfect to use with a vibrator, and soon I couldn’t tell what was the lube and what was my own wetness—and that’s exactly what an intimate lubricant should do. I don’t think Sliquid stays as ‘wet’ as other lubes, but during solo use the lube outlasts my orgasm, and that’s what counts!

I decided to give Sliquid another taste-test, this time my subject would be someone with a penis.
The Actor is my most voracious rug muncher, and also always willing to help try new products, so he was the one that got the call to come over and help. As usual, his oral prowess did not disappoint, and he had me seeing stars waaaaay before the Sliquid had a chance to dry out. When my legs had finally stopped twitching, he sat up to wipe off his chin and I immediately demanded a critique of the product. He flopped down next to me and commandeered my pillow and stared at the ceiling thoughtfully without speaking for a bit.
“WELL?!” I demanded.
“It was...distracting,” he finally admitted. ”But I don’t generally like flavored lubes. What’s the point?” His final thought: the taste of the Pink Lemonade was sweet, but also weirdly chemical tasting on his tongue. I again wonder if that’s the aspertame in the formula—none of us are diet soda drinkers and I try to avoid aspertame in my daily diet...I strongly suspect that is the cause of the aftertaste of the Sliquid Swirl, and that’s doubly unfortunate since Sliquid is known for being body friendly.

I gave the Actor a blow job using the Swirl next; after the deed was done, the thing I was most impressed with, aside from the slickness, was the amount of time The Actor was able to spend going downtown on me. I really couldn’t stand the taste of the stuff. This is unfortunate, because I really liked the lube for its...lubricating properties.

The Goods
-Sliquid Pink Lemonade is an awesome glycerin/paraben free formula that’s vegan friendly. Everyone loves those vegans!
-The texture is awesome—no artificial sliminess, no stickiness...it’s just like your own wet stuff.
-Safe for all of your toys—silicone included.

The Bads
-Dries out faster than you might like, but it can be ‘reactivated’ with a little water.
-The taste was, for me, not a plus. There may be plenty of people out there that might think the Pink Lemonade flavor is awesome; there may also be people out there that WANT their pussies to taste like furniture polish. Sadly, I am not one of them. I wish this formula didn’t contain aspertame, as I suspect that was why I didn’t like it. For those adventurers out there that drink diet soda and chew sugar-free gum, though, this might taste like home!

Sliquid Pink Lemonade is a slippery, good-for-your-body lube that replicates the body’s natural lubrication very well. Its silky slick texture feels great, but unfortunately, the taste of the Pink Lemonade didn’t leave us begging for more. This is a lube I'll use again and again during solo play or for penetration, but we'll be skipping it during oral play. Thanks as always to our friends at Babeland Toys for providing us with this product in exchange for an honest, fair review!

Thursday

When I first saw the Toyfriend line on the Babeland website, I was super excited to own one those fun little guys. Have you seen this line?? It looks crazy fun!! The colors! The shapes!! I was like a kid in a candy store, y'all! So imagine how tickled I was (HA! sex-joke humor!)when Babeland gave me the chance to review one of them! I didn't care which Toyfriend I received, but was secretly hoping to get either the Black Coney or the Seti Blue...and the Seti it was!!

The Toyfriend line is comprised of four brightly colored, uniquely shaped clitoral vibrators. The one I received, the Seti is...well, it's a little satellite dish. FOR YOUR CLIT. This is the future, people--welcome to it!! My favorite part about the Seti (and this whole line, really) is that it never takes itself too serioulsy. It's a bright blue vibrator called Seti (search for extra-terrestrial intelligence!)that is shaped like a satellite dish. FOR YOUR CLIT. !?!?! I was in heaven and I hadn't even taken it out of the package yet!

The Seti (and the rest of the Toyfriend line) is made from high quality silicone. It has a nice smooth feel and velvety texture--be sure to use a water-based lube with this!! Silicone lube on silicone toys is a big no-no...and you WILL need lube. The suppleness of the silicone gives this a slight drag against the skin, and lube will keep things moving freely. The Seti is a pretty decent size, measuring in at 6" and has a bit of weight to it--this is no flimsy, use-me-twice-and-throw-me-away toy. It takes 2 AAA batteries--which are included! Hooray!!--and has 5 different vibration settings. The Seti's control is a single push button on her base. To turn off, simply hold down the button for a few seconds. The settings include a high vibration and a lower one, and 3 pulsing vibrations, with each pulse setting getting faster. I found the controls incredibly easy to use, although once or twice I had trouble turning her off. Not sure if that's a manufacturing glitch or if my coordination sucks. The Seti is waterproof, so enjoy that bath time fun!!

So does it work?
I have to be honest--I was going to love this toy whether it made me cum or not, because it made me SMILE. The satellite head on the Seti offers pinpoint vibration, and that may not be everyone's cup of tea. I didn't mind the directness of it...it took some doing to find a position I was comfortable with, but once I did it was like WHOA! The 'dish' of the satellite offers nice labia coverage, and gets all your girly bits humming. The one thing I did NOT like was that when you turn the Seti on, you start out with the highest setting. Who wants to start with the highest? Isn't the whole point to work your way up? Once I got past that slight annoyance (and it was very slight) I really enjoyed what the Seti had to offer. There is a decent amount of power there, but it's not going to vibrate your teeth. This is no Hitachi Magic Wand! But it DOES get the job done, mostly because of that pinpoint vibe--it gets *right* at your clit, and the second pulsation setting is what did it for me!

The Goods
--Amazing looking and adorable! So unique!
--Pinpoint vibe is intense in a really good way
--I LOVED using this in the shower--waterproof toys rock!

The Bads
--Possibly hard to turn off
--Seems to get louder as you use it
--So cute, you'll want to keep it out all the time, and will have to answer constant questions about what it is and what it does!

The good folks at Babeland sent me the Door Jam Cuffs for review, and I knew they would be perfect to use during my weekend with the Swede! I'll be posting the deets on his visit in a separate post, so stay tuned for the goodness!!

The Sportsheets Door Jam Cuffs are, in a word, awesome. They are easy, they are comfortable, and they dummy-proof. Best of all, their ease of use makes spontaneous bondage play fun and stress free! The Door Jam Cuffs construction is relatively simple--Fleecy cuffs with sturdy Velcro closures attached to 8" of nylon strap. The straps have short plastic tubes attached to the ends. The method: put the straps over the top of your door; when the door is closed, the tubes prevent the straps from slipping. With me so far? Strap your honey in and get busy! It's that simple! And retailing at only $32 at Babeland?! What a steal!!

So do they work?
I found these particular restraints perfect for bondage beginners (which I'm not, but still had a blast with them!) The Door Jam Cuffs are comfortable--the fleece-lined cuffs are very soft and don't dig into your skin--and pretty non-threatening. Another plus (and this might be a strike, depending on how you look at it)is that these straps are relatively easy to get out of. Because the straps hang over the door unrestrained, they can slide to the center, bringing the wearer's hands together. If you are new to bondage, and need the option of being able to free yourself to feel comfortable, these DO give that option. That being said, fear not bondage enthusiasts; these ARE very sturdy restraints. I had them cuffed tight enough that there was no way I could wriggle out of them, even though I could bring my hands together. (The Swede really got into it, and I had NO desire to get out of the cuffs!)

No matter how you choose to use the Door Jam Cuffs, whether you are a BDSM novice or an experienced member of the bondage community, I hope EVERYONE out there will remember to follow the SSC rule--keep your play Safe, Sane, & Consensual. Control and Submission requires a great deal of trust; fortunately, these Door Jam Cuffs make SSC play fun and easy!!