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Kanye West declares independence

Kanye West, has declared independence from the rest of Kanye. In what is believed to be a bloodless coup, he took over the computers, TV and radios in his many houses and his bodyguards won’t let anyone near him without a visa. He also disconnected the electricity supply to the Kardashians. West, who also declared himself to be a sovereign state known as Ye, has applied to join the UN. Donald Trump has said that the US will recognise Ye and set up an embassy in his Chicago mansion.

Ye and Kardashian’s daughter North West is said to be monitoring the situation but is believed to think her father is now pointless. In a warning that not everything will be smooth going, Kim Kardashian has had ‘All hope abandon, Ye who enter here’ tattooed on her nether regions.