Dear Dickheads – July 2012

Dear Dickheads, I have been downhill skating since high school and I’m curious why SLUG chooses to shun this scene from the pages of the mag. The action sport section is filled with profiles on street skaters, snowboarders, skiers, occasional bmxers and even fixed gear freestyle kids, but I don’t think SLUG has ever written a piece on the downhill skating scene, which quite frankly, is thriving. Have you ever bombed South Temple from the U of U? Nothing is more exhilarating and the hoards of high school, college and old men that participate in the sport serve as evidence that the downhill skate scene in SLC is alive and well. I just think it would be cool if SLUG Mag would give my scene some coverage, we may not be grinding long rails or going big on stair sets, but our sport deserves some SLUG love. -Johnny D. Dear Johnny,We have an old saying here in the SLUG office: Longboarding is wrongboarding. We don’t cover “downhill skating” because it requires no skill—the hill is doing all of the fucking work for you. If we write an article about you and your bros mowing down unsuspecting pedestrians at the U on your longboards, then we might as well write an article about my niece rolling down the hill at Sugarhouse Park. I mean, it’s adorable and everything, but ultimately, no one really gives a shit. Also, we don’t feature many people in backwards white hats, Sublime T-shirts and plaid shorts in the pages of SLUG—most “downhill skaters” aren’t part of our demographic. If you still insist on being part of skate culture, there are a couple of things you can do. We’re holding Lords of SLUG Mag, the first installment of our annual Summer of Death skate contest series, at Crossroads in Ogden on July 14. Bring your longboard and we’ll all have a good laugh. If you can’t handle that, the first two Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater video games are being re-released this summer—there is totally a downhill level.