14 sex tips you need to know about now

14 sex tips you need to know about now

“It’s neither the size of the boat nor the motion of the ocean, it’s whether or not the captain can stay in port long enough for all the passengers to get off.”

It’s safe to say that my sexual experience, theoretical and practical, is a very rich and fulfilling one. So here’s a few pearl-necklaces of wisdom that I acquired along the way. I hope they help you improve your sex life and become the lover that you always wanted to be.

It’s never like it is in the magazines

Just like how Men’s Health suggest you can get great abs in 6 weeks, magazine sex advice is there to give you something to aspire to rather than a hard and fast guide to guaranteed success. Some of these magazines seem to think that our life is one giant orgy and that we’re spending most of our times in search of the next sex toy to grab our hands to. I feel sorry for the men who think they have to live up to those complicated sexual acrobatics when most of the time a good missionary does the trick just fine. For example, I’ve read somewhere that you should tug playfully on a woman’s pubic hair when performing oral. No man has ever pulled my pubes but I just tried it on myself and can confirm that it is painful and unnecessary, not at all a turn on.

Nipples are the way to go

Is it just me or are nipples the best invention ever? I know plenty of women who need like, 30 minutes of foreplay involving all sorts of nipple rippling.

Finger banging doesn’t work

I know that you would like to think that she becomes wet at the mere thought of you, but take a second to compare her anus with yours. Imagine if, at the beginning of foreplay, she took her middle finger and jammed it in your butt. Yeah, I thought so. Wait until she’s thoroughly salivating before using your finger to satisfy her anally. Also, don’t go straight for the jamming. It’s about stroking, circling and edging closer to open her up so she’ll envelope you.

Size does matter

Anyone who says it doesn’t is a liar. But I’ve encountered more men with over-inflated ideas of their own size than those who think they aren’t up to standard. If you’re not a heaving girth of meat, there are plenty of positions that will fool her vagina in to thinking you are. Getting her to bend over and hold her ankles will allow for a deep-fill and an awesome view. Indeed, pretty much any positions from behind, or with her on-top are guaranteed to maximise on what you’ve got. Cock rings and butt plugs are also hugely useful tools of distraction.

Weird fantasies are OK

It’s a well-documented fact (amongst my peers after a few drinks) that having weird fantasies is very normal and very OK. That doesn’t mean we don’t feel dirty, guilty or a little bit evil for having them. You need to look behind the fantasy to see what desires are driving it: Loss of control? Domination? Discipline? Just really bloody wanting to be wanted? What’s your weirdest fantasy? Dissect it and find out what the underlying motivation is, and you’ll probably find it’s not that creepy after all.

Get physical

Sometimes the most erotic moves are not even sexual. All types of touching are part of the push-and-pull that builds a tension and physical connection. Use touch to test power-dynamics, to tease, and to plant ideas in her head for later. Non-sexual touches are super useful because you’ll be able to tell if a girl is in to you before you try to take it further. Is she cold and unresponsive? Don’t go in for a kiss. Does she blush when you touch her shoulder? You’ve definitely tickled her fanny.

For girls AND boys baby wipes are more important than condoms. Ok, maybe not quite. But NEARLY. Because girls and boys both produce goop, and when it’s been sitting around in your warm, potentially unwashed, pants all day it tastes like ear-wax. Keep baby wipes in your bedside cabinet/manbag/next to the loo.

Have a sexy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Want to know another weird trick that will help you improve your sexual routine? Do yoga! Yes, a man can benefit from this sport too, it’s not just for the ladies!