Writing and raising children in the leafy London suburbs

She was in tears when the Lovely Melanie collected her from after-school club. The carer rushed with reassuring news that she was fine, but had just been told off.

For what?

For breaking the daisy-chains that Millie and another girl had been painstakingly crafting.

Oh, Amber… (sigh) 😦

The girl might have a bit of a temper on her, but she’s not a nasty child (often, she can be absolutely lovely), so the Lovely Melanie asked her to explain why she had deliberately broken the daisy chains.

It turns out that, as sometimes happens, her temper had gotten the better of her. She’d tried to show Millie something she was doing, Millie had said she was busy at that particular moment, so Amber stormed over and broke the daisy chains.

As soon as a grown-up intervened Amber was mortified, knowing immediately that she’d done wrong – which is something, at least: if she hadn’t understood why people were upset I’d be worried!

The after-school carer somehow felt the need to apologise for telling Amber off – possibly because she was still so visibly upset – but the Lovely Melanie waved her away, saying that we were glad she’d told Amber off.

Children need to learn when behaviour is unacceptable, and that we will not defend them in those circumstances. Yes, we’ve got their back at any other time, but if you’re going to be bad then you have to face the consequences.

Of course, everything was back to normal again within minutes, all behind us and forgotten. Except…hopefully not quite forgotten, eh, Amber?

We all inhabit a house on the edge of London, and I make a living as a copywriter in the centre of town.

It's been a turbulent few years - tragedy struck early in 2011 when my younger brother died very suddenly and unexpectedly. We're still recovering from that.
My dad had a heart transplant in 2008. He's still alive and doing very well indeed.