Being dead, Tidus was coming to conclude, was not nearly as fun as onemight think.

Well, not that he had given it much thought at all before belly-floppinginto the Farplane but looking back it seemed natural to assume he'd atleast get to hang out with his parents and float around a lot. Jecht andTidus' mother, however, went straight back to doing the wholesmoochyface-hugglehuggle-let's-neglect-our-son thing upon theirreunion (except for a brief interlude when Tidus challenged Jecht to aone-on-one blitzoff which had ended in the incorporeal equivalent ofinternal bleeding, broken teeth and Auron calmly explaining to Tiduswhy one should not pull a flame-thrower on one's next of kin). And thenovelty of floating wore off after awhile.

In short, Tidus was bored.

"Wanna play cards?"

Auron, meditating or something, snorted. "With what cards, genius?"

Tidus kicked himself a few feet away through the ether and crossed hisarms. "Well excuse me for breathing."

A voice behind him said, "Is he /still/ unclear on the concept? I knew hewasn't bright, but this is getting silly."

That was another thing. Sure it was nice to see his mom again and hisfans and Auron (although he hadn't really had time to /miss/ the old fart)and Jecht (in theory), but--

"Huh, yeah." Tidus paddled his way back to Auron and elbowed himconspiratorially. "Wasn't that a pain in the ass? Remember, we'd betrying to eat dinner or something and then Seymour'd show up with afew more tentacles tacked on, going, 'Oooh, look at me! I have risenfrom the grave! Oooh...spooky!' and we'd be like 'dammit, whose turnis it to kill him /this/ time?" Tidus sighed nostalgically, rolling onto hisback. "Good times."

"At least I didn't sew parts of six different articles of clothing togetherat random to make my outfit," Seymour said.

Auron sighed. "Here's a flashback. That'll keep you quiet for a fewminutes."

~~~~~

Auron walked into Tidus' Zanarkand penthouse from the fuzzy whiteround-frame effect. Tidus wasn't in the conversation pit but his voicecould be heard from the hallway singing the Abe's theme song andmaking up the words he didn't know. "Aaaaaaaand when the Abe'sshoot aaaaaaaaaaaaaa pooison shot's pure venom aaaaaaaaaaaand whenthey paaaaaaass, they're, um, citrus fruit is not a lemooon... Yo, Auron!Is that you?"

"You in the bathroom?"

"Yeah man!" Tidus said cheerfully, never one to question how oftenAuron showed up unexpected and unannounced when Tidus was in thebathroom even though the older man didn't have a key to the apartment."S'okay though, I'm decent. An Abe is an Aaaaaaaabe down to the lastmaaaan, the finest athleeeetes in the laaaaand -- 'specially Tidus! 'Causehe's so cooooool!"

Auron sighed, shaking his head, and pushed the door open. Then heblinked. It wasn't often that he blinked.

"Uh...hi," Tidus said sheepishly, fiddling with the piece of foil in hishand identical to many sticking out either side of his head like antennae.

"What are you doing?"

Tidus cleared his throat. "Well, y'see, I figured that since my picturegets taken a lot now and I'm on TV and stuff that I might try dying myhair the color it was when I was a kid."

"You're dying it brown?"

"Ha ha," Tidus said, turning his attention back to the mirror. "It used tohave...highlights. And stuff."

"Right," Auron studied him critically. "I guess this is like that side-partphase you went through a few years ago. I just hope you know whatyou're doing."

"I can see that," Tidus glared at a chuckling Seymour and Jecht (whohad showed up upon hearing his son was going to be humiliated) whowas howling with laughter and rolling around on what would have beenthe floor. "Shut up! I hate you all!"

"Yeah, yeah," Jecht said, wiping his eyes. "But seriously, kid. You'rereally just upset because you miss that Yuna of yours and yer finallybeginning to understand how long it'll be before you see her again,right?"

Tidus was stunned at this display of parental insight. "Y-yeah."

Jecht smacked him upside the head. "Then use a portal and SEE her,dingus!"

"Huh?" Tidus rubbed the back of his abused skull. "You're talkinggibberish, old man."

"No, a portal sphere," Auron explained. "They're like Jecht spheres, butthey allow you to view people in Spira as they are right now. Sort oflike a spy camera."

Tidus gawped at this plot device. "We have those? We can do that?Why didn't anybody tell me about it, when all I've done here is cry andwring my hands and scream Yuna's name to an indifferent sky?"

There was a collective shrug from his collected audience. "Must haveslipped our minds," said Auron.

Since the Farplane was devoid of matter, Tidus had to settle forsmacking his head against his hand many, many times.

****

After several amusing events the author didn't feel like going into, aportal sphere was procured and set to 'Yuna' frequency. Tidus, Auron,Seymour and any random spirit who had happened to stop by weregathered round.

"The reception's kinda fuzzy. Is it going to be fuzzy when we see her?Is there any way we can make the picture bigger? It's kinda on the smallside now. Oh, I'm so excited! I wonder how she looks! Do you thinkshe's okay? Wait a sec, how's the sound on thi-- OW!"

Auron blinked, innocently.

And then, oh and then, the picture focused, centered on Yuna's lovelyface, her mouth as sweet and her eyes as steady as the day they had met.

Tidus forgot how to move. He would be hard-pressed to give a tutorialon breathing.

And then the picture zoomed out to show the object of Yuna'sattention. Tidus frowned. "Hey... isn't that...Dona? What's /she/ doingthere?"

"Shh!" someone shh'd. "She's saying something!"

Indeed, Yuna was speaking. "Oh, Dona. These past few months wouldhave been horrible if you haven't been here to teach me how to loveagain!"