Me, Myself, Or I?

First I would like to explain my absence from blogging for the past couple of weeks…..website trouble. I have changed hosts, and I hope all is well!

And now……on to the grammar!

My newest pet peeve is the incorrect use of the pronoun myself. I have been hearing it more and more–or perhaps I have just noticed it more and more. I hear it on the news, in conversation, on television–everywhere. I imagine that people use myself when they can’t figure out if the correct word is I or me. Myself also sounds more erudite, so perhaps that is why people tend to use it.

Myself (along with yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, and themselves) is called a reflexive or intensive pronoun. The other such pronouns don’t seem to cause trouble; it’s just myself.

Here is an example of myself used correctly as a reflexive pronoun: I wrote that proposal myself.

Here is an example of myself used correctly as an intensive pronoun: I myself wrote that proposal.

Here are some examples of myself used incorrectly:

He gave my friend and myself some new books.

My neighbors and myself are having a party next weekend.

Joe read the letter to my sister and myself.

Okay. Can you see a common thread here? When is it correct to use myself? Fortunately, this is an easy rule to remember. In the first correct example, myself bounces back (as in reflexive) to the I at the beginning of the sentence (which is the subject).

In the second correct example, the myself emphasizes (as in intensive) the I at the beginning of the sentence (which is the subject).

In the incorrect examples, the subjects of the sentences are he, my neighbors, and Joe, respectively.

You got it! You CANNOT correctly use myself in a sentence unless I is the subject!

By the way….it’s graduation time soon, and a grammar book makes a great gift to someone going on to junior high or high school, or college, or into the workplace! And perhaps even a great Mother’s Day gift?? If you would like to purchase either of my grammar books (or just take a peek inside on Amazon), they are available here:

and at most other online retailers. They can also be ordered from bookstores. For bulk orders, please contact me. And finally, if you like the book, or books, I would greatly appreciate a review on Amazon (or anywhere else!). Thank you!

Comments

Really enjoyed your post and dashed off to Amazon to buy your book, but didn’t and here’s why. I wanted the Kindle edition, but will not pay high prices for books in this form. To my mind an eBook should be at least half of the price of an equivalent paper book for all of the obvious reasons (and should still provide the AUTHOR a more than healthy return). Sorry.

This is an old thread, but I’m responding because “myself” was on your quiz. If I say, “Give yourself a pat on the back,” is this incorrect? Spellcheck is always dinging me for this usage, suggesting it should be “Give you a pat on the back.” This is non-sensical, so I always override it.
Perhaps the subject “you” is implied: “You give yourself a pat of the back.”

Speaking of Spellcheck, my brother just told me that he was trying to type “transgender” into a Facebook post, and the spellcheck wouldn’t allow this, unless he capitalized it. Kept changing it to “transponder.” Do spellcheckers have a list of forbidden words? And why would “transgender” be on that list?

You could do a post on the grammatical idiosyncrasies and peccadilloes of spellcheck.

I had an Irish buddy who was only months off the boat (we were in middle school). We wound up at his house a lot because his mother was trying to “buy” him friends. She always had cold Cokes, and I was easily bought. (So was myself.) But his “granp,” as he called him, was always there too, sitting on a puffy old chair (so, I think, we didn’t steal it.) And he always addressed himself as himself, like “himself never ate okra in the Olde Country.” It took me at least a week to both understand anything he said, then to stop looking around for himself. I believe it was, as you hint, reflective. Where he went, himself seemed to follow, in perfect tandem, auto-reflecting. We figured he was 120 when he died, which was doubly sad because in his passing we felt like we had lost two friends. Myself thanks you, Arlene, for provoking such a Celtic memory.

Arlene,
You are SO right about myself being misused. It’s bad enough that I and me are used incorrectly (I email cable news networks when I hear the wrong usage!), but throwing myself into the mix, too–Eeeeeee! As for the East not using it, Ha–the big NY news networks misuse myself quite frequently.

Nice article and lesson Arlene. Thus far, I have not seen “myself” written, or said incorrectly here in the East. Things always seem to start on the west coast and filter east, so am sure it will be coming soon ;-). I am so pleased that saying, “You know” has finely gone away. Hopefully, “myself” will also pass soon. Using “myself” incorrectly is like a fingernail on the blackboard!

Hi Arlene,
This is wonderful. So clear. I believe that I’ve been using it correctly, but the refresher is wonderful.

After getting my masters in creative writing, I realized that although I instinctively use grammar (my dad acted as grammar police), I really didn’t know the rules. So I went to the local community college and tried to sign up for the basic grammar class. They didn’t want me to–it took my speaking with three instructors before I got them to understand why, that I got the class was very basic (actually remedial) and that was exactly what I wanted. The class helped a lot!
–Skye

I’ve told you this story before, but “myself” has been a pet peeve of mine for many many years. I can remember when my niece, now a Freshman Literature Major at UC, was only 2. If she didn’t want help, she emphatically said “Myself.” She wasn’t ready for full sentences, but used that word correctly (“I can do it myself.”). At that time I was so annoyed to hear the misused word in media, etc. by so many ignorant folks, knowing that a little 2-year-old could do so much better.

Arlene: I am one of those persons who doesn’t use “myself” correctly. I always knew I wasn’t using it correctly but I was uncertain what to do. Sometimes, we all rely on what “sounds right” to us instead of what is grammatically correct. Your post makes the rule crystal clear and it’s easy to remember. Thanks so much! BTW: I wrote this comment myself.

Hi Arlene! I am so happy to be included on your email list! My kids and myself are so excited to learn more about grammer. Just kidding — the kids don’t really care. Anyway, I myself do. As a reminder, I enjoyed meeting you at the SFWC the last day when I failed your quiz terribly. I look forward to more post. This is a great way to learn (re-learn) the mysteries of grammer.

Many times we talk about grammar in terms of writing. This blog post is about speaking. We don’t need to worry about punctuation when we speak, but we do have to worry about grammar—and pronunciation (which we don’t have to worry about when we write).

A while ago, one of my readers asked me to write a post about my life as a self-publisher. However, before I became a self-publisher (or “indie” publisher, as we like to call it), I was a writer for a very long time. I think most people who write have been writing for most of their lives.