SICK OF THIS $#!+: Hoboken Residents Calling Out Negligent Dog Owners For Failing to Clean Up After Pets

Spring in Hoboken is a magical time—the days grow longer, the temps grow warmer, and the residents grow impatient with the amount of raw fecal matter left scattered on the streets after the snow melts.

Hoboken is a decidedly dog-friendly town—folks take their pups EVERYWHERE. With scenic waterfront walkways, parks-o-plenty and a number of dedicated dog parks scattered throughout town, Hoboken has been relatively accommodating of its four-legged population. There are even dog-friendly bars in town, where patrons are encouraged to enjoy a pint with their pups.

A post shared by Cork City (@corkcitypub) on Mar 7, 2019 at 5:27am PST

We love our dogs here. But we $*@%!^& hate our dog $#!+…

If you’re going to participate in the joy of dog ownership in a densely populated area, the primary stipulation is that you have the common decency to clean up after your animal. And yet, THIS $#!+ continues to happen.

On Monday, a tweet from an exasperated Uptown Hoboken resident set off a virtual $#!+storm of complaints from people sharing their own vile experiences with the sheer volume of $#!+ on the sidewalks around town:

The thread went on to show photographic evidence of the offending excrement, and a $#!+load of anecdotal tales of problem areas that, when clumped together, seem to encompass the entire City of Hoboken.

The City of Hoboken announced last year that it will double-down on dog waste fines, in an attempt to curb incidents of dog owners not curbing their dog waste. Fines reportedly have the potential of reaching upwards of $2,000—more than it costs for a human to pee on the street during SantaCon.

Meanwhile, the City of Hoboken has built a temporary dog park at Harborside Park, and planned a new dog park at 2nd and Hudson. Furthermore, the City in the process of initiating new pet waste stations with bag dispensers citywide in partnership with property owners—similar to this program currently in place in Maryland.

I recognize this is a problem also. We increased fines for owners who don’t pick up after their dogs, planned 2 new dog parks, & implementing pet waste stations w/ property owners – more on this soon. If you recognize a pattern of owner not picking up, please report via 311 app https://t.co/S7lYQRNM4w

“Additionally, the City is going out to bid for 28 new, larger and modernized big belly trash cans along Washington Street, and installing 50 new trash cans in high traffic areas, including City parks,” said Hoboken Spokesperson Vijay Chaudhuri, in an email to hMAG. “The big belly trash cans will have sensors powered by solar energy to inform the City when the trash cans are filled to capacity.”

Of course the main issue with dog waste on the streets is enforcement—and that’s because the primary issue with the topic of dog $#!+ is $#!+ty owners.

That’s because people who don’t pick up dog waste are just pathologically incapable of assimilating with general society. It’s not an “awareness” thing—it’s not like these people need to be told to pick up dog waste because they simply didn’t know any better. There are signs everywhere. Yet those signs are sadly ignored far too often.

Here at hMAG, we generally try not to fuel vigilantism… but we can’t really think of a better way to deal with this.

Because as we’ve said before, those who feel they’re above picking up their own dog’s waste on a common footpath in a densely populated area have a deep psychological problem, and they need help… they need an “intervention,” if you will.

That’s where you come in…

Engage offenders—if you see someone not curbing their dog, call out their dog $#!+ and make a scene if you have to. Don’t worry about offending them—you don’t want to be friends with these people anyway.

If you see someone calling out someone’s dog $#!+, join the fray. $#!+-shame these people into fixing their $#!+ty ways.