23 October 2009

Jael pounds a tent stake through a sleeping man's skull

In God's last killing, God “discomfited” the Canaanite army, causing them all to be killed. (It's not clear how God did this, but he probably forced them to kill each other. He likes doing stuff like that.)

But Sisera, the captain of the Canaanite army, somehow managed to escape. And that night he passed by Heber's tent (Heber was an ally of the Canaanites), which is where Jael enters the story.

Jael was Heber's wife and she came out to greet Sisera, inviting him to stay the night in their tent. She prepared a bed for him, gave him a glass of water, and tucked him in for the night.

Jael went out to meet Sisera, and said unto him, Turn in, my lord, turn in to me; fear not. And when he had turned in unto her into the tent, she covered him with a mantle. And he said unto her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water to drink; for I am thirsty. And she opened a bottle of milk, and gave him drink, and covered him. Judges 4.18-19

Then, after he was asleep, she drove a tent stake through his head.

Then Jael Heber's wife took a nail of the tent, and took an hammer in her hand, and went softly unto him, and smote the nail into his temples, and fastened it into the ground: for he was fast asleep and weary. So he died.4.21

OK, so what, you say. Why blame this killing on God?

Because God blamed it on himself. Deborah, who was a prophetess, said the killing would take place, and that God would take an active part.

Which is exactly what Catholics mean when they say "blessed art thou among women" in the Hail Mary. (I know. I used to say it all the time.)

Oh, and since it was brought up, I think Adam had a bellybutton just as much as he had an X-chromosome.

So you think there was a real Adam, eh Brucker? The first human, unrelated to any other animal, and directly created by God from the dust of the earth on this very day 6012 years ago?

And you say you think Adam had an x chromosome. Do you think he had a y chromosome, too? Or did he just had one x chromosome like Jesus did? (Since Jesus was a product of parthenogenesis, he had only one x chromosome -- which means that he was really a she. So maybe Jesus was blessed among women, too. Now we have 3 candidates for the title!)

Well, I'm not a strong literalist, but there are theological implications to the story in Genesis 3 that present problems if Adam did not exist.

And you say you think Adam had an x chromosome. Do you think he had a y chromosome, too?

My belief is that he would have been largely indistinguishable from any other man.

Or did he just had one x chromosome like Jesus did? (Since Jesus was a product of parthenogenesis, he had only one x chromosome -- which means that he was really a she. So maybe Jesus was blessed among women, too. Now we have 3 candidates for the title!)

Hmm, I've never heard that theory. Of course, what with Jesus supposedly being the product of parthenogenesis, it is interesting to speculate as to His genetic makeup. I've always figured that since it's a miraculous conception, just about anything's possible. He could be a clone of Mary (and thus genetically female), the genetic offspring of Joseph (despite not being the physical offspring), or even no genetic relation to His earthly parents at all. I've never heard any convincing reason to think any of these was the definitive option, though.

Oh and thanks for the link, I've always wondered where Ussher came up with his data, maybe I should read more about it. Happy Birthday, Earth! Any excuse for a party...