Something that I brought up a few years ago. It's been rattling around in my head for a while and decided to try to refine it just a bit. Original idea is still there, but dropped a few things that looking back felt forced.

I think there are a few formatting problems, or tone problems and would like some feedback to make this as good as I can make it. I don't expect this to be anything great. I just wanted to make a doll that caters to the "Popping" world. Unsure what that is? Youtube it at your own risk.

Generally you don't want to redact anything in containment procedures (since people who are keeping this thing locked up are screwed if they don't know what to do) so un-blackbox that site name, please.

The whole number (#) thing is usually used for counting exact measurements of things that can be potentially fatal if misread, like drug prescriptions. It's a little silly to use it for counting two people.

I'm a little iffy on the namedrop of the actual copyrighted Cabbage Patch kids. But that's just me.

Given that "Nexus Products" doesn't exist elsewhere on the site (as far as I can tell), you might want to add a footnote or some other indication to the reader that this is something new in the article (because I was a little unsure of if I was supposed to have heard of it or not)

Does it resemble dolls of "Nexus Products"'s production line or Mattel's? Wording was kind of unclear.

Try to put info on what the thing is and does before you toss in the origin. It makes more sense to the reader once the context is right—remember, as the author you know what's going on, but the reader's reading this start to finish.

How does a seven year old know how to drain a cyst? How would they "attempt" to do so?

The whole "Interviews by the embedded agent discovered that the child was attempting to recreate her doll's traits." bit comes out of nowhere and doesn't make much sense… How would a child attempt to recreate cysts? I want to see that interview, because the logic here is kind of funky.

What are the doll's "traits" anyway? It doesn't make much sense given that there's no info on the actual description yet…

"SCP-xxxx's effect is manifested" is a weird way to phrase it, and also doesn't actually indicate an anomaly. Just say "SCP-XXXX's anomalous effect manifests…"

Did the Foundation really run enough tests to indicate any polyethylene plastic? Also, your description didn't indicate whether the thing had a mouth… just a "cloth body". For a moment I thought the mouth was painted on since I'm not familiar with those line of toys. O_o

Where did the attached backpack come from? Gotta introduce these things earlier so your reader knows what you're talking about.

According to wikipedia, it's "comedone" not "comedome".

The addendum is weird. It also doesn't even describe "popping", it just mentions the word "pop".

You've got some capitalization issues, such as "Level-3 personnel", "Nexus Products", etc. If it's a name, capitalize, if not, no need.

Overall… this is kind of boring, sorry. It's a doll that causes pimple growth and maybe some compulsion to pop pimples. At its basic level it seems like an anomalous object with a gross effect—I'm not getting much of a sense of the bigger picture.

Why would Nexus Products make something like this? I feel like kids wouldn't want to play with something so gross, and heck, most adolescents hate acne when it first crops up. The whole "feed doll random things, look it gets acne!" feels like it could be a teachable moment, but the food choices are too random to indicate anything more meaningful… plus the bullet list is incorrectly formatted.

Some different angles you can use to approach this can include answers to questions like
- Did this object ever have a greater significance before it was contained?
- Was it ever special to someone? Was someone ever special to it?
- How was it initially discovered by the person who first owned it?
- Why does it exist? Does it have a purpose?
- What might the intentions of the creator have been?

Thanks for taking the time to go through it and give such detailed critique. Your points give me several ideas for my rewrite and I will continue to work on this SCP until it is either ready for the main list or I take it to the possible only conclusion and just delete the idea from my mind.

To respond to a few things the Cabbage Patch tie in was for a controversial doll that Mattel put out that was recalled due to several problems with how children got their fingers or hair stuck in the dolls’ mouth which led to the eventual withdrawal of the doll from stores. I should have described it more properly to be sure. And to make it more concise.

Nexus was just a stand in for nothing. Just like there are knock-offs of many common consumer items, so is Nexus. Just this time it was anomalous.

The only point I wanted to make with the child was how it ended up with cysts that were so severe that it caused her ovaries to be removed. I agree that an explanation as to how such a young child would know how to pop a zit should be explained. Maybe through the dolls’ manual would be a thought.

The misspellings and capitalization errors were the fault of my eyes and my new keyboard. Somehow my word processor did not pick up on ‘”comedome”.

Once again, thanks for the thorough critique and I hope I can refine this to the point of being interesting enough for the main list. I’ll be working on it for a while and you’ll see this in the sandbox once again later on down the road.