Three hundred thirty-nine-time Loser Jeff Contompasis thinks we need more specific ratings to help us avoid the particular things that bother us in the movies. This week: Come up with a new movie rating and describe it, perhaps with a humorous example of what a movie with that rating would contain.

Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives, just in time for New Year’s Eve (maybe), a Fashion Two-Pack: First, yet another little shoe-polish-size can of Instant Underpants; you put them in water for a few minutes and they expand into a full-size pair of underpants. Of course, they’d be wet underpants, but you might not be too picky if you’re turning to these things. Donated by Andrea Kelly. AND, if you don’t care for briefs, a pair of Magic Boxer Shorts — 100 percent cotton — that are compressed into a boxer-short shape approximately the size of a deck of cards. Same thing with the water. Donated by Elden Carnahan. (See a video of the expanding pants at bit.ly/magicboxers.)

Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet, either the Po’ Wit Laureate or Puns of Steel. First Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Dec. 9; results published Dec. 29 (online Dec. 26). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 1049” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules. The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Mae Scanlan; the alternative headline in the “next week’s results” line is by Kevin Dopart. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev, and click “like” on Style Invitational Ink of the Day at bit.ly/inkofday.

Report from Week 1045

in which we asked you to quote a song title or a line from a song and supply a question that that line might answer. Just about everyone who entered had a question about Congress to be answered by “Send In the Clowns,” and every other person used “The Fool on the Hill.” The lyrics quoted below have links you can click on to see what songs they’re from.

The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial:

From “Ain’t No Sunshine”:A. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know . . .Q. Didn’t I say you couldn’t stop a moving helicopter rotor by yourself? (Larry Gray, Union Bridge, Md.)

2.Winner of the “King of Thrones” promotional toilet-shaped coffee mug:From Bruce Springsteen’s “The River”:A. I got Mary pregnant, and man that was all she wrote.Q. God, in the whole history of creation, does any event particularly stand out to You? (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

3.From “Sweet Dreams” by Eurythmics:A. Who am I to disagree?Q. What do you think about Flushing, New York? (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

4.From “Imagine” by John Lennon: A. Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can.Q. With this kind of drug record, how do you expect me not to send you to jail this time? (Danielle Nowlin, Woodbridge, Va.)

Q. Do you ever think maybe there’s more to life than these stupid contests? (Brendan Beary)

Still running — deadline Monday night: Our perennial Ask Backwards contest, in which we give you 12 random answers and you tell us the questions. See bit.ly/invite1048.

See the Empress’s online column The Style Conversational (usually published late Thursday, but this week it’s late Wednesday), in which she discusses today’s new contest and results along with news about the Loser Community — and you can vote for your favorite among the inking entries, since you no doubt figured the Empress chose the wrong winner. If you’d like an e-mail notification each week when the Invitational and Conversational are posted online, sign up here or write to the Empress at losers@washpost.com (note that in the subject line) and she’ll add you to the mailing list. And on Facebook, join the far more lively group Style Invitational Devotees and chime in there.

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Comments our editors find particularly useful or relevant are displayed in Top Comments, as are comments by users with these badges: . Replies to those posts appear here, as well as posts by staff writers.