Who? Oh, yeah, that’s me.

I’ve become a wife. Not in the legal sense of the word, but in the cultural sense.

Couples just don’t live together if they are not married. And, it appears to be easier for people to just go ahead and call us married. Even if said people know us very, very well. It is a very simple solution to a possibly tricky moral dilemma.

I wasn’t too taken aback about by our new monikers when people we didn’t know, or barely knew, called us maridos. Occasionally, in the States, people I didn’t know very well would ask about my husband, especially if I spoke about Adolfo without naming our relationship.

However, in April, when we came for Adolfo’s interview, a friend of ours gave us a ride to the interview. At the gated entrance, the guard asked who was in the car. Our friend responded that it was el architecto Adolfo PI y su esposa. I was quite surprised, because this friend knows us very well, and is quite aware that we are not married.

Now, it is a common occurrence. I am often referred to as a wife and he, as my husband. We don’t correct people. For one, they actually know that we are not married (family members, close friends, etc.). And, two, we might then enter into a complicated discussion of WHY we are not married. I have a feeling that, “We’re not that interested right now, maybe later,” or “We’re too busy with other things,” are not going to be acceptable reasons.

I also wonder if this is a language issue. It’s much easier for someone to ask me about my suegro (father-in-law) than about el padre de tu novio. And, since my suegro lives very close to us, it’s a common question.

I used to tell people that Adolfo and I were fiancés, in order to try to bridge the gap. But, then I would slip up and call him my boyfriend. I guess I just wasn’t very committed to the fiancé status.

So, now we just give each other a sly smile when people refer to us as married, it’s as if we are being sneaky. But, is it really being sneaky if everyone knows the secret?

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