Revisit reasons to hate the Cleveland Browns

There is a long raging debate between the main stream media (i.e. the hacks that do this for a living) and the blogsphere. You see the main stream guys hate the blogs for a couple reasons. They claim there are no standards and information is passed with no credible sources. Even though blogs broke some of the major news stories of the past year, news media still puts up a cold shoulder.

Arguments like that mean nothing when the MSM posts something like the following :

After listening to Andy Dalton on conf. call, I can report that #Browns Colt McCoy is infinitely more insightful. Even was as a rookie.

There is no reason for a sports writer to write something like that. Are you that bad at your job that you have sunk to insults of a persons intellect rather than point out what really matters in the upcoming game.

So, to stoop to their level I decided to revisit my previous post from last season on 10 reasons to hate the Cleveland Browns. While it all may not still be relevant (Shaun Rogers is no longer a Brown, the opening day was from last season) you can’t argue that the rest is 100% fact on why Cleveland sucks. Enjoy:

1. The Dawg Pound – ok, the concept is kind of cool. Get all of the most rabid fans, seat them together and make the stands behind the end zone very intimidating for the other team. Where Cleveland fails is the execution. For example: team officials banned the carrying of dog food into the stadium, as fans would shower the visiting team with Milk-Bones, along with other objects. In the fourth quarter of a 1989 game against the Denver Broncos, the rain of batteries and other debris coming down from the bleachers was endangering the safety of the players. At the final game at Cleveland Stadium in 1995, members of the Dawg Pound ripped the bleachers from the stands (many having brought wrenches, crowbars, and other tools to dislodge the seats), and tossed them onto the field.

This is the same thing that prisoners do in prison riots, way to bring that kind of class to an NFL football game Browns fan.

2. Shaun Rogers – Besides the fact that the guy has a reputation of taking plays off during the game, in June 2007, Rogers was accused of sexually assaulting a stripper. Why would someone take advantage of a woman just trying to put herself through college? Then to follow that up Rogers was arrested at Cleveland Hopkins Airport for having a loaded gun in his carryon luggage. Loaded gun on an airplane, who knew that was against the law?

3. The Cleveland fan – in an effort clean up the fan experience, Cleveland instituted their version of the jerk line. On opening day in the stadium this year, 16 Cleveland Browns fans were arrested. (see they really do hate themselves)

4. Staph – One of the chief exports of Cleveland since the decline of industry there has been the staph infection. Kellen Winslow blows out a knee and the team sends him to the Cleveland Clinic and he becomes one of far too many players to contract staph infection after surgery. LeCharles Bentley, a fan favorite, was born and raised in Cleveland and cries as he is interviewed putting on his uniform for the first preseason practice. On the first 7 on 7 drill he is hurt and never plays a game for the Browns. He suffers multiple staph infections and almost loses his leg. Joe Jurevicius plays almost 2 seasons before suffering a knee injury. He is sent to the Cleveland Clinic and he contracts not one but two different staph infections and may never play again.
To top it off, Winslow opens up to the media about the staph infection problems with the Browns and the team suspends him for conduct detrimental to the team.

5. The people of Cleveland hate Cleveland – Cleveland as a city has declined from a population of 914,000 in 1950 to less than half that today. The mass exit can be attributed to many things, but mostly is a testament to how bad the city sucks. The Plain Dealer (the local city newspaper) found that the higher a young person’s education degree, the more likely said person was to move out of Cleveland.

6. You will probably get killed in Cleveland – Cleveland ranked as the 7th most dangerous city in the nation among US cities with a population of 100,000 to 500,000 and the 11th most dangerous overall. Violent crime from 2005 to 2006 was mostly unchanged nationwide, but increased more than 10% in Cleveland. The murder rate dropped 30% in Cleveland, but was still far above the national average.7. The Environment – The Cuyahoga River at one time was one of the most polluted rivers in the United States. The stretch from Akron to Cleveland was devoid of fish. There have reportedly been at least thirteen fires on the Cuyahoga River. The largest river fire in 1952 caused over $1 million in damage to boats and a riverfront office building. Fires erupted on the river several more times before June 22, 1969, when a river fire captured the attention of Time magazine, which described the Cuyahoga as the river that “oozes rather than flows” and in which a person “does not drown but decays.”

8. The roads – Although it seems most roads in Cleveland are always under some sort of construction, there never seems to be improvements done to these roads. I think it is all a ruse by the local government and the goal is to deteriorate the roads so bad so that visitors cars are instantly disabled. This makes it easier to keep them in the craphole of a city and also makes them fair game for Cleveland’s number one profession, robbing people.

9. Moses Cleaveland – As you can probably guess this is the guy that discovered / created Cleveland. After buying a large chunk of land from the Connecticut government for 1,200,000 dollars he essentially was handed the task of creating Cleveland. He initially had resistance from the local Indian tribes who he paid off with whiskey, bread and 1,200 dollars. After creating the town he left to go back to Connecticut citing that Cleveland even then was a suckhole and no one should have to live there.

10. The Mistake by the lake – The city has high unemployment, dismal weather, hefty taxes, corruption and mediocre sports teams, all of which have propelled it to the No 1 position in the Forbes.com list: most miserable city in USA. “Cleveland nabbed the top spot as a result of poor ratings across the board. It was the only city that fell in the bottom half of rankings in all nine categories,” Forbes said on its website.
The rankings are based on jobless rates, inflation, taxes, commuting times, crime rates, performance by the city’s sports teams, weather, pollution and corruption by public officials.

Comments

12. Lake Erie has been trying to relocate for over 100 years, but it knows Cleveland would follow like a co-dependent ex-girlfriend. Besides, the only other place to go is either Canada (eh?) or closer to those goofy Buckeye fans.

13. It is the only city with a 250 lb weight minimum to enter the stadium. (Oh wait, Pittsburgh does too, don’t they?)

14. No one outside a 10-mile radius hammers Art Modell for leaving. It’s friggin’ CLEVELAND!! Say what you want, Cleveland, but we’ve never lost our NFL team.

I’m from Cleveland and have lived in Cincinnati. Ever since I lived in Cincy I stopped hating on the place because it’s like hating on a twin brother. Too many similarities.

In any case, The Steelers and Ravens are far more loathsome and I would give the AFC North to the Bengals any day before those two franchises. It’s the shared responsibility of our cities to deal them losses and show that Ohio is the motherland of football.

Use your blog to break down the actual football game instead of flaming Cleveland. Make Paul Brown proud.

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