Couples and Sexuality – 5 Signs and Symptoms of a Red Flag Sex Life- and What You Can Do About it

If you can’t remember the last time you had sex with your partner, or you both are “too busy” to find time for each other, then you may have a red flag sex life. A red flag is a warning sign that flashes in your head or in your heart when things aren’t quite right. Often times, couples will think their situation is hopeless. It’s only hopeless until you decide to take action! There is always hope that your sex life can improve, if you want to improve it.

So what are some signs and symptoms of a red flag sex life and what are some tips to tackle these concerns?

Sign 1: You are concerned that one or both of you spends too much time in adult chat rooms or on internet porn sites while ignoring one another. This is becoming a more and more common concern of a red flag among couples. Often times, you may feel that your partner does not find you attractive anymore because they are looking at adult internet sites.

Sign 2: You are not having fun in the bedroom anymore. Are you doing anything but making love together in the bedroom? Have you lost a sense that the bedroom is a place for you and your partner to be intimate and have sex together?

Sign 3: You don’t have the kind of frequency that you would like with your partner. Was it last week, last month, or last year when you last made love? Do you wish that you could be more sexually expressive more often?

Sign 4: You are not satisfied with the kinds of sexual activities you have in or out of the bedroom. If sex has become rote, 1-2-3 with no sexual satisfaction for you, then you may have another red flag here.

Sign 5: Your sex life is literally “going down the tube” i.e. you watch altogether too much TV and no longer make time to make love. I know that when one of the only shows I watch, American Idol starts, I have to readjust my schedule or my love life will severely suffer. You may want to track how many hours you watch TV in an average week to see what is stealing your romance time.

What to do, what to do? Here are some tips for turning your sex life red flags to green!

Sex Tip 1: If you are concerned about chat rooms and internet sites, then talk about it. For many people, the internet is a sexual outlet much like adult films, and can be part of a healthy sexuality. Of course if there is a relationship that seems to be forming outside of your agreement with your partner, then limits will need to be discussed between the two of you. For many males specifically, the internet is just another way to stimulate their fantasies and is a masturbation activity. On the other hand, f your partner no longer attends to you, but is constantly online, then you will need to discuss it further and try to change things. If that doesn’t work, you may want to seek counseling for your relationship.

Sex Tip 2: If having sex has become a chore to you, or seems boring, then spice it up! Ask for what you need sexually from your partner. Be flirty. Be fun. Try lighting some candles and offering some mutual body massage to each other. Sensual massage can be very arousing, and can lead to so much more pleasure in the bedroom for both of you.

Sex Tip 3: If you can’t remember the last time you had sex, then initiate sex. Try writing a sexy love note or invitation to meet you at a specific time in the bedroom for a sexy fun and frolic date. Try a new time, such as waking up earlier for a little morning love express before you have your first latte. Having regular sex dates can help even the busiest couple keep their love life running hot!

Sex Tip 4: If you are not sexually satisfied in the bed room, then it’s your turn to crank up the heat! Ask for what you need with your partner. You can also use fantasy to go wild in your mind while having sex together. This can make good sex even hotter for you!

Sex Tip 5: Turn off the tube. If you ask me, people watch altogether too much television. If you have time for 5 or six shows in a night, why not substitute at least two of them for a roll in the hay with your loved one? Why not have a start and end time for the TV? Also, now that there’s TIVO, you can record anything, skip the commercials, and watch it later. Sex can be good for your health, for your relationship and can even help you sleep better! So if you want to heat things up in your sex life, you can stop being a couch potato and hit the sack together instead!