Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Digest of Ohio Motor Vehicle Laws.

Yesterday, I went to get my Ohio license plates, and get an Ohio driver's license (previously I lived on the Kentucky side of the river.) While there was some red tape with the tags, I was pleasantly surprised by how easily it went (Kentucky was a pain). But the experience was not entirely hassle-free. When I moved to Kentucky from Tennessee, the only thing I had to do was show a valid TN driver's license and they took my picture and gave me lovely new Kentucky license. Here on the Ohio side, you have to show a valid license, then take a written test. Seriously Ohio, do you really think your drivers' skills are that much more superior to other states? Have you seen your drivers' skills?

So I'm flipping through the handbook, just making sure I'm clear on the vastly different driving laws and rules of Ohio. I noticed there is not a single mention of the proper way to merge. Having lived here for three and a half years, this actually comes as no surprise.

So since it's not covered in your driver's handbook, I am providing a merging pop quiz. This is really just for Ohioans, but anyone can participate.

Question 1: When entering a roadway via on-ramp should you?a. Accelerate to the speed of the traffic you are joining and safely merge when adequate room is available.b. Use your turn signal to indicate your intention. Merge when adequate room is available.c. Stop at the end of the ramp. Wait until 27 car lengths are available, merge comfortably.

Question 2: When another driver is trying to merge from an on-ramp, you should?a. Try to change lanes, allowing ample space for a merger.b. Decellerate so that the other driver is able to merge.c. Travel at the same speed as the merging driver, forcing them to the shoulder, because you shouldn't have to be bothered.

Question 3: A driver in another lane is signalling that he/she needs to change to your lane, you should?a. Slow down and allow them into your lane.b. Accelerate to get out of their way, so that they can merge into your lane.c. Travel at the same speed, forcing them to miss their exit or turn, after all it is your lane.

If you answered C to every question, you are suited to drive in Cincinnati. If you answered anything other than C, you should probably live anywhere else.

I am not really sure if I should be offended by this...I have been told by certain "friends" that ny driving is a bit un-nerving. As I live in Ohio your disdain for drivers-but in all fairness I actually think it is a national phenomenon.

The Ohio process is nothing compared to that of New York. First, you have to prove that you are who you say you are. The way to do this is to provide your birth certificate plus seven forms of other identification plus get subjected to watching the entire Woody Allan film library. -Ken

Who is ths Kevin?

In October of the year of our Lord nineteen and seventy nine, a man was born that would bring knowledge, so insightful, that the world would be forever changed. Unfortunately, that man was murdered by gibbons. Then, I started a blog to get the crap that's in my brain out of my brain. Honestly, I can't, for the life of me, recall why I brought up that other guy.