Tehran at war with mutant rats

Well, take a breather because the Iran’s snipers have more immediate threats to worry about: gigantic, mutant rats.

“They seem to have had a genetic mutation, probably as a result of radiation and the chemical used on them,” Ismail Kahram, Teheran city council environment adviser and university professor Ismail Kahram told Qudsonline.ir.

“They are now bigger and look different. These are changes that normally take millions of years of evolution. They have jumped from 60 grams to five kilos, and cats are now smaller than them.”

Those are eleven-pound rats ransacking the streets of Tehran, people. Let the reoccurring nightmares begin!

Currently, there are ten snipers in charge of taking out the nightmarish rodents, which are then burned or buried in lime, but the problem is so bad they’re about to put thirty more on the payroll.

We’re guessing no one has a problem with a government spending increase in this case.