The one thing that I would expect from a Tardis soda machine is that the cans or bottles should bigger on the inside than on the outside for no extra cost.

Yes, a full litre of Mountain Dew in a half-litre bottle for the same price as a regular half-litre bottle!

Cool. As cool as Coke keeping the same nickel price until 1959. You can imagine how much profit the feckers must have been making on their sugar water to allow them to not raise the price for a whole generation from cradle to the grave.

If I ran that store, it would dispense as many different kinds of "Dr." sodas as I could find. Oh, and tea.

There would also be a note taped to it reading, "Irregular result? Ask an employee." I'd stock it with random bottles of old sodas (Crystal Pepsi, Slice, New Coke, etc.), the odd Brawndo, and perhaps even a couple bottles pre-emptied and filled with jelly babies. Presenting one to staff would get you your money back and a coupon or small novelty gift.

"I've seen him. He's like fire, and ice, and rage. He's like the night, and the storm in the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe."