Sunday Observer

The yoar was 1977, and for weeks he had been sulking around the bar at the Years Club complaining about the burdens of office and announcing he had no intention of succeeding 1976 in the job.

None of the other years took him seriously. This may have been because he barely spoke to most of them, whom, as we now know, he regarded as dither loathsome or barbaric. The evening of 1976's American Bicentennial banquet last July 4th, he made a terrible scene at the bar and threatened to punch 1066 for boasting about having produced William the Conqueror.

“Any year that would associate with William the Conqueror.” he said, “would eat scrapple and tell Saxon jokes.” Fortunately, old 1066 was too feeble to swing the halherd which he snatched from 1565, or the 1977 crisis might have ended right there.

The one companion to whom 1977 confided was 1911. His hope was that he could persuade 1911, whom he regarded as the last good year, to take his place in the procession and succeed 1976 at the perennial signal from Guy lonthardo. There is evidence that 1911 fancied the idea of a comeback. Ile had his horse and buggy washed a nd waxed and began to harangue the other years over dinner ❑bout the number aer of comebacks inaile by Muham

[ wi my — five produced his Tommy gun, pointed it at 1911 and said, “I do.” This did not end 1977's attempts to name his own replacement, however. Shortly after Thanksgiving, he caucused with all the years from A.D. 437 to 759 and proposed that they form a bloc to install A.D. 61.1 as successor to 1976. The scheme was dismissed as a tasteless joke at the expense of old, underprivileged

years who could neither read nor write and still thought the world was flat. Among longer heads, it was taken as a dangereus sign of frivolity in 1977. Still, no one was willing to come to grips with the crisis until early December, when 1977 announced that he would not serve without the love and support of the year he loved.

This year, he announced. was 3317 B.C., who had not appeared at the club socials for so long that everybody thought she was dead. When she was finally located, floating along the Tigris and Euphrates, she pros ed to he surprisinglylowly—serene and my,teriou::—but for this very reason. totally unsuitable to consort with 1977. Moreover, as the Committee on the Anmod Succession pointed out, she was a B.0 and 1977 was an A.D., which made the arrangement socially impossi

When 1977 was informed of the committee's veto. lie raged and stormed as if he were 1938. the year of the great hurricane. Ile declared that the club had treated him with indifference and contempt Nineteen — sevent y six had been awarded a bicentennial, he said, whereas he, 1977, was expected to follow that performance “like a dog act coming on after the Polling Stones.”

Ile had no intention of being part to inflicting humanity with IR hours of football in accordance with the prearranged program to celebrate his arrival. That, he said, was work more fit for the likes of 1066, 1914, 1929 and similar years, to whom he referred as “swine.”

Moreover, he said, he would not be a party to January, which he had always regarded as a peculiarly odious affair, only slightly less obnoxious than February, which had given all years a bad name for years. Nineteen — thirtythree suggested that 1977 was simply jealous because he was not to be granted a 29‐day February, such as 1976 had enjoyed. Nineteen — seventyseven was behaving childishly. declared 1933, by taking the position that if he could not have it all, he would refuse to play.

Then, changing his tone, 1933 urged 1977 to gird himself to his duty and not to fear. “You have nothing to fear but fear itself,” he declared. The members were so moved that many proposed that 1933 he sent in to substitute for 1977, and the motion would surely have carried except for an urgent plea from Plains, Ga., to reconsider.

year,: were ing, but not 1977. “I will not go on,” he announced. Even old 1911 was shocked

by this. “You have to go on,” he said. “The show must go on.” asked 1977.

Not a single year among the

multitude could answer this que.‐aion, but they all agreed that it had to go on anyhow, with or without reason. They called for 1978 to get ready for an mergency appearance, but he had already left for the Caribbean because he hated January even more than 1977 did. And so, it is now 1979. It

could be worse. It could be 1984, And will be, before we know it.

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