Fantasy Sports: May the bettor man find way to win Super Bowl bets

Sunday

Feb 3, 2013 at 6:00 AM

Josh Bousquet Fantasy Sports

There is little that makes Super Bowl Sunday better than a nacho bar. Even I occasionally get full, however, which means excitement must be found in other areas. Since this XLVII version of the game does not feature a team that I care about, it is time to turn my attention to prop bets.

Even if the teams may not matter as much to us in New England, the Ravens vs. 49ers, Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh matchup comes with some wonderful prop bets. It isn’t often that we can legitimately wonder whether the postgame handshake/hug between opposing coaches can last more or less than six seconds.

Seriously, count off six seconds right now. I love my brother, but that’s an awkward amount of time. If you need further proof, imagine that long a hug between Bill Belichick and, well, anyone.

We don’t need to wait hours to have this family affair pay off, though. The betting starts immediately as we guess who will be shown first during the game — the 49ers’ Jim Harbaugh (+125), the Ravens’ John Harbaugh (+125) or a split screen of both (+190). That final option sounds enticing, but the rules of this wager start at kickoff, and there’s no way CBS doesn’t unload its split-screen weapon before that.

Just how much will they continue with the Harbaugh-ing though? Well, the over/under for the number of times the name is said during the game is 21-1/2. There is also a 2-1/2 over-under on the game being referred to as the Harbaugh Bowl, Har Bowl, or Super Baugh.

These bros also bring us the inevitable viewing of parents Jack and Jackie (and I can’t believe I just had to type that, it’s sickeningly cute). But just how many times will we see them, and will that number be more or less than the number of receptions by Randy Moss?

Another warning with this bet — halftime doesn’t count. This is unfortunate because my sources tell me “Crazy in Love” is Jack’s jam.

There are other things we can concern ourselves with during this time, though, such as whether Jay-Z will join his wife on stage during the halftime performance. Jackie hopes this happens, for she has been known to get jiggy with “99 Problems.”

More importantly, though, what will be the predominant color of Beyonce’s top at the beginning of her performance? The leaders in this race are black, gold/yellow, silver/grey, and white, but don’t worry if those aren’t your favorites; everything is available on this day of days.

You don’t even need to wait until kickoff to have fun today, either. For unless you had to make a familial deal to allow yourself to go out tonight, you can embrace the fact that the Super Bowl isn’t the only sporting event happening.

The NHL’s Penguins and Capitals take to the ice at 12:30 p.m. on NBC, and you can watch to see if your bet that Pittsburgh’s Evgeni Malkin would get more points than 49ers running back Frank Gore has receptions was a good call, or if you instead should have handicapped the chances for the Pens’ Sidney Crosby to have more shots than the Ravens’ Torrey Smith has catches.

As if the day weren’t already painful enough for sports fan in this area, these cross-sports bets don’t involve any Celtics this year. Sure, the C’s play on CSN at 1 p.m. today when they host the Clippers, but the props for that game involve whether LA’s Chris Paul will score more points than San Francisco quarterback Colin Kaepernick will have completions, or if the Clippers’ Blake Griffin’s combined points and rebounds will outdo Baltimore running back Ray Rice’s receiving yards.

I blame this Celtics lack on Rajon Rondo. He was always good for some entertainment.

In a surprising twist, there is also a soccer bet available. Is ESPN really convincing us that we care about this sport?

Although I can’t quite believe that the answer to that question is yes, there is still a present question of whether the combined goals in the Manchester City-Liverpool game (and I checked — this is actually happening today in something called the Premier League) will be more than the number of catches Moss has tonight.

Things might be starting to feel a little overwhelming by the time the game rolls around, so a little bit of adrenaline will need to be shot into your pursuits. But here it comes, the coin toss! (That was an exclamation point, the punctuation mark of adrenaline.)

So go ahead, throw together an idea of whether it will be heads or tails, and then double up by picking who wins the toss.

That leads us finally to the game, where there are roughly even odds on if Baltimore’s Anquan Boldin or San Francisco’s Michael Crabtree will catch a pass first. Whoever gets the ball first has the best chance to make that payoff, so why not triple up your initial hopes by tagging this one?

At some point, you just have to accept that you have a problem. If you already have gotten there, then also go the who-will-catch-a-pass-first route with backup tight ends Ed Dickson of Baltimore and SF’s Delanie Walker.

One of the most interesting things I found this year is that the guys tossing those receivers the ball are pick-ems in many different props. So do you think Baltimore’s Joe Flacco or Kaepernick will be the first to: Have 10 passing attempts? Record 10 completions? Reach 100 passing yards? Throw a touchdown pass?

Ouch, my brain hurts. I must return to that bar to replenish my energy.