The tale of the wonders of carbon nanotubes continues. If you remember, carbon nanotubes are those things that are apparently super tiny, flexible, super strong when used correctly, and super conductive. They’ve been theorized to create “free” energy, help us clean water, heal the blind, re-grow a heart, both cause and detect lung cancer, possibly treat lung cancer, and now, as its crowning achievement (so far), they’ll be instrumental in creating brain implants.

That’s right, from heart, to lungs, to brain, carbon nanotubes are going all over the human body. Scientists at Rice University have successfully implanted carbon nanotubes in Rats with Parkinson’s symptoms with little or no rejection, allowing them to detect neurons firing. The doctors believe that this is a first step in creating independent implants which would help create a therapy for Parkinson’s which would adapt in real-time to the brain’s functions.

The other day I posted Emma Watson’s address to the UN, promoting the #HeForShe movement. I was happy to signal boost without comment. Her speech was excellent written and performed, and I felt stood on its own.

The same day, as I was making my way through some social media sites, I saw a friend post the Emma Watson video, and in the comments two people were explaining how they hated feminism because it was just anti-male non-senses, or tried to degenerate women who assumed traditional gender roles but that they were all for gender equality. So I did something that I rarely ever do. I commented back, explaining that anyone who calls themselves feminist and espoused anti-male sentiments or disparaged other women for taking traditional gender roles was ignorant of what feminism actually is. I received angry responses in kind. Excessively angry. I don’t know if these commenters were having a bad day, have anger issues that they need to seek treatment for, or were intentionally trolling. I personally felt their anger seemed to belie their arguments. After all, you’re getting angry over what comes down to a semantics argument.

Still, it was a new experience for me. I told myself as I was writing my response that I would not “feed the trolls” by making any comments back. I was expecting hostility. I’d made my point, rationally, for others to see. There was someone else on that post, defending feminism as it should be, not as its detractors want to define it to be. Still I felt an anxiety about doing this and it took me awhile to figure out why. My anxiety stemmed from two parts. One part was from confronting angry people on the internet, which common wisdom says is never a good idea but which I’ve recently learned is far too much pacifistic to be effective in countering the growing trolling evident across most of our online culture.

Not because I dismissed the idea of feminism or the cause of feminism or the history that is baked into the movement — but because I didn’t feel like it was a title that I had earned. I didn’t feel like it was my space to share. I didn’t feel like a very good feminist, really — I got things wrong then, still get them wrong now. I still possess the privilege that comes with being male and sometimes that means my privilege blinds me to behaviors or language that can be hurtful (not merely offensive, which I accept and embrace, but hurtful, which by my mileage works to diminish and damage others). And so it felt a bit fakey-fakey, like I was a heathen in a church pulpit, a meat-eater at a vegan restaurant. I thought, oh, you’ve actually struggled with the mantle of feminism. Me, it’s no struggle at all. I can waltz in, put on the hat and the nametag, give a couple of thumbs-up and boom, FEMINIST. It costs me nothing. It’s so easy. Too easy.

I was more comfortable calling myself an ally, then — as if I was a member of another nation entirely willing to support your nation’s coalition. “Yes, of course I’ll vote for that,” I say from my mountaintop lair at in the capital of Mansylvania. “Please place your feminist agenda in front of me and I will rubber-stamp it. Whatever you need, please, consider me your ally.”

But that’s horseshit, really.

Not the part where I support feminism, but the part where I consider myself separate from it.

Because of course I’m not separate from it.

The correction of the imbalance isn’t about bringing men down, but lifting women up.

So, let’s just put this right here:

I am a feminist.

Not just an ally — though, I am that, too. But a feminist.

Not always a perfect one. Certainly not the one you asked for. But here I am.

*waves*

I think male privilege is real. I think it’s imperfect and not absolute, but that doesn’t change its reality — male privilege is ever-present and difficult to deny.

I think that privilege is blinding.

I think there are real issues affecting men, and that doesn’t diminish the need for feminism.

…

I think that feminism is a many-headed, many-hearted movement. Feminists don’t all get together in a room once a year to determine the agenda for the next 365 days.

I think that’s a good thing, not a bad thing. As noted: many hearts and many minds.

…

I think it’s more important for men to listen than it is for them to speak on the subject of feminism. (And I recognize the irony here — I’m using the blog to speak, but the blog acts as a much better mouth than it does an ear. But I promise, I am listening. This blog is a direct result of me listening — and, as Anita Sarkeesian notes, me believing your experiences are real.)

I think it’s more important for men to signal boost than it is for them to take over the signal.

(But I also think it’s vital for men to be a part of that signal, too.)

I think a lot of this begins with teaching our kids this stuff — yes, I know, blah blah blah children are our future, but seriously, this is critical if we’re to overturn a lot of the nastiness that’s been institutionalized, that’s been stamped into the mud of our history with hard boots.

But I think we must also be active in social media, in politics, with family, with friends.

I think that it’s very easy to dismiss feminism and claim egalitarianism instead, but realize that the two are not mutually exclusive — and, by denying feminism, you misunderstand that the imbalance here is particularly and troublingly one-sided.

There’s far more that Chuck Wendig says in the article that I agree with and I urge you to read the entire thing, but the above really stood out to me, in regards to my experiences the last few days online. Because he effectively outlined what was causing some of my anxiety about talking about feminism. I read about it quite a bit, I try to understand the issues. There are times when I see people on the net scream “misogyny!” and I look, and can’t see it, and I fret over if the internet is wrong, or if I’m blind to it. And do these weaknesses, and my place in society, make me ineligible to be a real feminist.

Which is obviously silly. Everybody makes mistakes and everybody starts off ignorant. I’m no ally of feminism so much as I am a feminist, even if I sometimes get it wrong, and while I may never be John Scalzi or Chuck Wendig, willing to exclaim to an exceptionally large audience and all but invite the trolls and nay sayers, I’ll still do my best to listen, signal boost, and discuss.

Writing Session

Consecutive Daily Writing Count: 205Magic Spreadsheet Points:19,945

There was no actual writing session today. Or yesterday. Why is that, do you ask? Because I’m done. I finished the first draft of Everlasting, my very first novel. As of Sunday I wrote something like two hundred and fifty words and realized that there was nothing else left to write. I could have extended the epilogue I was writing to fill in the five hundred and fifty words per day I was up to but it would have been superfluous and forced.

So to celebrate I didn’t write yesterday, save to do a little bit of design work on Video Board Game. I didn’t write today, save to write this blog post. I wish I could say no writing left a great hole in my schedule but it really didn’t. Using The Magic Spreadsheet, I was writing five hundred and fifty or more words a day, usually more, and on a good day I could knock that out in twenty minutes.

So yeah. Yay me! I’ve wanted to feel some serious elation over this but honestly the moment came and hen it was past. I’ve gotten congratulations from friends and family but for the most part it was just another thing. My writing friends understand and my friends who don’t write are still encouraging. Each writer is different and I’ve known those who have finished three or four rough drafts of novels in the time it has taken me to finish this one. So I didn’t have a party thrown in my honor when I finished.

Which is fine. I have a hard time celebrating it because I’m well aware that it is in no state to be called anything but a first and very rough draft. I even know major changes I would already make. Should I take up Everlasting again, I’d be doing much more search and taking time with my world building knowing where my story is going through the world.

Taking a vacation from writing the last two days also means I’ve lost my chain in The Magic Spreadsheet. But honestly I don’t mind. It was a tool to get my novel finished. I’ll use it again when I start in on a new novel, which probably won’t be till NaNoWriMo this year. The intervening time, after a small vacation, will be dedicated to working on short stories, editing what I have of Free Writings and other short stories, doing more design and prototyping of Video Board Game, and maybe working more on my MTG organizer.

Everlasting Update

Novel Word Count: 263,276 (+54,758) [Days: 119] [Avg. Wpd: 461]

So it has been a long while since I updated. Honestly writing doesn’t lend itself to updates without being forced. I supposed I could use a Magic Spreadsheet style to force myself to update weekly? Maybe yet I will do that. Regardless if you read above you know I finished the first draft of Everlasting. It has been four years, ten months, and two days since I decided to write a novel. Not all that time was focused on Everlasting. In fact I didn’t finish the first NaNoWriMo that started the entire thing and even that NaNoWriMo only produced a partially completed world bible. So it’s really only fair to say it has been two years or so. Maybe two and a half? The last year, or rather the last two hundred and twenty days or so has been the real push, doing the daily writing, a majority of it going towards this novel with only a few days to short stories or just ramblings.

So Everlasting will be trunked. I doubt the world will be. After all there is still Werewolf Zombie Steampunk, the prequel novel that should also never likely see the day, and Monster Hunters, which might be set in the same universe, if not the immediately same time period. I also could see some other stories focus on just Captain and Steampunk Sky Pirates or something similar. And there’s always the chance I’ll want to re-write Everlasting. Actually, I do feel like I want to re-write it. I know I shouldn’t. I should feel elation and being able to put it down, but I do think I want to revisit Everlasting sometime soon. So perhaps we’ll see.

Editing & Critiques

Currently not editing or critiquing anything.

Other (Non-Writing) Projects

Video Board Game

Since I didn’t do any serious writing, I found myself adding to my design document several times over the last few days on this. The design document has gotten rather unwieldly and I might be discarding it here soon. And by that I mean starting a new one and copying over good ideas. I’m still having difficulty figuring out how best to mange my brain storming of this game and get the ideas down. Google Docs is great for access but not very good when I want to convey visual ideas or move things around. I could start a scrivener project for better modularity of organization but that doesn’t help my visual problems much either.

I may resort to pencil and paper. I lose the ability to easily edit and organize but I gain near infinite visual capability, limited mostly by my drawing skills, which aren’t stellar but I play on improving that as well. I seem to remember the creators of Scrivener released a brain storming tool. This might be a time to try it out…

LeVar Burton is attempting to raise funds to re-start Reading Rainbow as a multi-pronged internet venture, targeting tablets and the internet. Which seems incredibly smart to me. I’ve seen the recent upcoming generations and at least a good portion of them are being weaned on tablets. Being on the web will make it very accessible for schools to incorporate it in the classroom. Not that this campaign mentions it, but this could also be the step to getting it back on television.

Either way, look it over, and see what you can afford. This is definitely one of those projects worth donating to.

Never mind the premise, which seems both silly and awesome, the music is super catchy and the cast list is full of amazingly talented and funny people. Kevin Sorbo (Yes, Hercules/Captain Hunt), Lisa Foiles, Ashly Burch (Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin’), Jeff Lewis (The Guild), several actors from the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, which I’ve never seen but is supposedly hilarious and awesome, and many more.