First Glimpse Of North West

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I’ve always wondered what the anti-Christ would look like…well, now we know.

This morning, Kris Jenner, Kim Kardashian’s pimp mother, debuted the first picture of baby North West on her failing talk show. The move, a clear publicity stunt in an effort to both boost her own ratings and keep her daughter’s name relevant, had “we’re publicity whores!” written all over it. To be fair, though, I would expect nothing less from a Kardashian.

Shockingly, the spawn of two people who will one day sit next to Cain and Judas in one of Dante’s inner circles, has neither horns, nor a tail, so I’ll give credit where credit is do. I hate myself for saying this, as I was expecting to be faced with a literal monster…but she’s kind of cute. Look, I’m not saying that she’s beautiful or anything – there’s no need to inflate Kim’s and Kayne’s egos any more than they already are – but in the immortal words of Elle Woods, “She’s not completely unfortunate-looking.” So, there you go. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go grab a rosary and hunker down in my basement; I’m pretty positive The Rapture is here.

From Rush To Rehab (@catie__warren) is a semi-fuctioning adult who has been celebrating her 21st birthday for the past three years. She attended college in the nation’s capital and to this day is angry that Pit Bull lied to her, as you cannot, in fact, party on The White House lawn. Prior to her success with TSM, Rehab was most famous for being featured in her hometown newspaper regarding her 5th grade Science Fair Project for which she did not place. In her spare time, she enjoys attributing famous historical quotes to Marilyn Monroe and getting in fights with thirteen year olds on twitter.
Email: catie@grandex.co