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‘Shark tried to grope me’ claims Brit surfer

A UK surfer says he was forced to punch a shark in the face after it tried to grope him.

Stephen Cadbury, a dentist from London was surfing at Bronte Beach near Sydney when the alleged incident took place. Mr. Cadbury said everything appeared quite normal at first, the mood was light, the two were laughing and joking, enjoying the surf. ‘The shark was a little flirtatious but nothing to suggest he was a potential predator. He even commented on my swimming briefs saying they made me look like a Bond girl’ said Cadbury.

But after a few minutes the mood changed, the shark started making lewd remarks, touching the surfers breasts with one of its penises. ‘Then, following a break in the waves, it made a lunge for my genitals and I realised I was in trouble. So I slapped the shark across the face and told him in my best Lady Bracknell voice that I would be reporting him to the Australian Coast Guard patrol as soon as I made shore’.

Mr. Cadbury said the shark then backed off, laughing nervously and claiming it was only having a ‘bit of fun’. The Australian Coast Guard said allegations such as this were taken very seriously and a full investigation would take place. There have been 18 reported incidents of sharks approaching surfers so far this year. ‘They have all taken place at sea where sharks tend to live’ said Jed Baker of the ACG. ‘It could just be a coincidence but its a lead we will certainly be investigating’.

With its razor sharp teeth, grey palid skin and cold, dead eyes the dentist moved to Australia two years ago to take up a post at Sydney Hospital, local media reported.