Tag: goldeneye

5-2 last week so back on the winning track for your favorite handicapper. Wish I would’ve taken my own advice and added on the Bengals and Cardinals. It’s the perfect weekend to watch the games as it’s pretty goddamn cold with this cyclone bomb at hand. Cyclone Bomb sounds like a finishing move in Mortal Kombat or a perfect description when I ate a piece of uncooked chicken last week. Last year, Wild Card weekend was crazy as all the favorites covered. Will the same occur this year? Let’s see:

Kansas City hosts Tennessee, who has looked very unremarkable the past few weeks. Tennessee is 5-12-5 ATS on the road but 5-1 in KC. KC has seemed to get their offense together while the Titans offense has been as lively as another Tennessee legend, Pat Summit. Hint: she’s dead. No DeMarco Murray but that doesn’t matter because he’s been awful. 9 is a lot of points and Alex Smith SHOULD be able to cover this. Let’s all reminisce how Alex Smith was the first overall pick and selected before…Aaron Rodgers. Ok, memory break over. I do not have an idea where to go team wise but I sure have made a lot of money betting on the Chiefs under at home. Titans have gone under in 4/6 as well as 4/6 on the road. KC has going under 6/8 and and 5/6 at home. That’s all the info I need to

Take KC under 45

Buffalo squeaked in because the Ravens 4th quarter defense disappeared like Philadelphia teams during a championship parade. Shady McCoy has been upgraded to probable so he’s pretty much a go. Do I trust Buffalo on the road with no WR? No. Do I trust Blake Bortles who of late, has been not good. And now he’s home in the first playoff game for the Jaguars since I was in college. Playing Goldeneye. Womanizing. Playing Beer Pong. Sigh, those were the days. This under is quite low, 39.5 But I am going to try some different logic. The Jags will be running the ball as that’s what they’re good at and the Bills run defense is not. The Bills will be running because the Jags run D isn’t so hot either. I think Doug Marrone will want to make keep a leash on Bortles and give him the chance to turn the ball over early. I think both teams come out conservatively so I went and took…

First half Jacksonville under 19.5

Lastly, my lock of the week. If you’ve consistently read this column, thanks to all 23 of you. And you’ll know that I love the Saints at home. You know what I love even more than the Saints at home? Blowjobs, duh. And a ton of Denise Richards naked photos circa 1997. Also, I love the Saints over at home. Saints are 15/21 over at home. And when the Saints play Carolina, the over hits 6/7. Also, when the Saints play Carolina at home, the over hits 6/7. Carolina is 5/7 in hitting the over. The Saints hung 30+ on Carolina both times they played them. I would take the Saints if it got down to 6.5 but for now, I LOVE….