"Sexuality beyond Sex: A Biblical Understanding" is a Christian Bible based perspective on how God given
sexuality can enrich life and help us grow in faith, while strengthening
family relationships for spouses, parents, teenagers and mature adults.

“Sexuality is one of the most important issues in our life today.”
Many young and adult faithful have said this directly through discussions and
surveys. They have also expressed this indirectly by reading certain website
articles as opposed to others. But sexuality has always been an important topic.
Not surprisingly then, it is also a crucial topic in the Bible. The whole
relationship between God and us humans is described through relationships based
upon sexuality. For example, God is seen as the faithful ‘Husband’ while the
people of Israel are seen as the ‘wife.’ Christ is described as the ‘bridegroom’
while the Church as the ‘bride.’ However and unfortunately, there is
generally very little talk about ‘sexuality’ in ‘Christian circles,’ be
it in Church or other organizations. Why? Because the general public tends to
confuse sexuality with the act of sex. As a result, parents blush
and find very few words when the time comes to talk to their children about
sexuality. It is not surprising then that young people speak of the act of sex,
try to dress ‘sexy,’ learn about ways to prevent pregnancy and sexually
transmitted diseases but have very little concept of the intent and scope of
sexuality that is above and beyond the sexual act. Relating the old adage “They
know about the price of everything but have no idea of their value” to this
situation, we can say: “They know a great deal about the act of sex but
have no concept of the value of sexuality.”

Let us then first discuss ‘sexuality’ from the perspective of the Bible. In
Genesis, when describing the act of procreation, we read “Adam knew Eve.”
[Genesis 4:1, RSV] Thus the sexual act is placed within the larger context of
two people making a commitment to understand each other not only for a moment
and for the sake of an act, but forever. (We must be careful though since some
Bible translations state this verse differently, as for example “Adam lay with
his wife Eve.” [NIV] This latter translation may sound more practical and
simple to understand, yet it tends to reduce the concept of ‘sexuality’ to
the ‘act of sex.’) The emphasis of the Bible is on the long-term
relationship between Adam and Eve and not just on the momentary act. In other
words, as a male and a female make a commitment to know, love and continually
share their life together, they create a new relationship. One of the
fruits of combining their sexuality within this new relationship is procreating
children and nurturing them. Thus, the sexual act and the subsequent birth of a
child is only one aspect of the commitment to share the sexuality of both
spouses.

We can then define sexuality in this way: Sexuality from the perspective of
the Bible is that spiritual, mental and physical aspect of each person related
to his or her ability to create, and is an integral part of every relationship
that he or she forms with others. The desire for and the choice to practice
the sexual act is onlya portion of the overall sexuality of a
person and a relationship.

For Adam
and Eve sexuality was described between two human beings. However, there are
numerous examples in the Bible where sexuality related terms are used to
illustrate the supportive and destructive aspects of the relationship
between God and humans. For example, this is how God described His ultimate
relationship with Israel: “I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth
you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in
faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD.” [Hosea 2:19-20] However,
when the people of Israel were straying away from the worship of God, the Lord
exhorted them through the Prophet Hosea in this way: “You are to live with me
many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will
live with you.” [Hosea 3:3] And again, when the people of Israel failed to be
faithful to God, here is how the Prophet Amos described the fall of the Northern
Kingdom of Israel: “Fallen is the virgin Israel never to rise again.” [Amos
5:2] And sure enough just a few years after this prophecy, the Assyrians
destroyed the northern portion of Israel which eventually came to be known as
‘Samaria.’ These are examples of how God describes the constructive
and destructive aspects of His relationship with human beings through illustrations
that are full of sexuality related symbols.

Based on these illustrations, it is clear then that sexuality is an
important part of not only human life but of the relationship between God and us
humans as is shown in the Bible. If we are to comprehend the intimacy that God
expects of our relationship with Him, if we are to grow in the “image and
likeness” of God, then we need to understand these images that are illustrated
through terms relating to sexuality. In turn understanding sexuality not only
helps us put our relationship with God in the proper perspective, but also gives
greater meaning and direction to our life and relationship with fellow human
beings.

Another important implication emerges from the above illustrations. Note that
both in the case of a faithful wife as described in Hosea 2:19-20 and the
prostitute described in Hosea 3:3, the emphasis is not on whether there should
be a sexual act or not. But rather, the emphasis is on the intent of the
sexual act. Thus when a sexual act is for the intent of glorifying God, then it
is seen as worthy, as in Hosea 2:19-20. If on the other hand it is the result of
losing faith in God, then a sexual act is seen as prostitution. Therefore, an
important implication emerges out of this reasoning: If God views and assesses
the faithfulness (or unfaithfulness) of a sexual act based upon the intent and
context within which it takes place, then it follows that there is no such
thing as a sexual act by itself independent of an intent. In other words,
there is no such thing as “Sex for the sake of sex!” Every sexual act has
a conscious or unconscious intent, it is a part of the larger human creativity
known as ‘sexuality.’

Even though the distinction between the intent of sexuality as opposed to the
act of sex required illustrating in the Old Testament as we read in the prophecy
of Hosea, but in the New Testament the point is clarified. Christ very simply
put it this way: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed
adultery with her in his heart.” [St. Matthew 5:27-28] In this verse from St.
Matthew, Christ very succinctly sets the intent and context of sexuality
above and beyond the act of sex, even if there is no sexual act involved!

Now then, how does this proper understanding of sexuality help us in our daily
life? Let us consider some examples. It is a well-known fact that teenagers
go through physical and emotional changes. As parents, the proper understanding
of sexuality on our part helps us guide the young person through the maze of information
about the sexual act towards the understanding of the value and dignity
of sexuality in relationships. Long before and at an earlier we can explain
to the young people the importance, the respect involved and complementary
nature of the male-female relationship. The best and first illustration can be
the relationship between mom and dad. As the young person grows a bit further,
we can explain to them why those young people who consider themselves ‘sexually
active’ hardly ever grow up and establish emotionally and spiritually intimate
relationships. Thus, from the beginning, we as parents place the appropriate
biblical context within which the teenager discovers sexuality and asks
questions about the sexual act. As adults, if we are looking for a soul
mate in life, the appropriate understanding of sexuality helps us seek and
choose the person with the correct priorities with whom we can share our life’s
journey. If we are spouses overwhelmed with the stresses of life, placing
sexuality in the proper context, helps us sense greater fulfillment from our
marital relationship. Finally, if we are persons moving towards our so called
‘golden years,’ then the biblical understanding of sexuality helps us
overcome the constant bombardment of the demeaning and defacing sexual act
oriented advertisements, and assures that we maintain a sense of God given
worthiness and dignity. We can write a great deal about every relationship
described here. However, it suffices to say that understanding and living a
faithful life utilizing the God given creative gift of sexuality is far above
and beyond a life simply full of human sexual activity!