Several times on this blog I have referred to the fact that you cannot manage servers. This is always followed up by the idea that you have to lead them instead. Managing servers is very much like trying to herd cats. I think this is a fairly easy concept to grasp. The difficulty in putting this idea into action is differentiating between being a manager and a leader.

Being a manager makes you responsible, but it does not make you a leader. Leadership requires a separate set of skills. If you choose to be a manager instead of a leader, someone will step up to fill that leadership role. The problem is that they may lead their followers in a direction that makes your goals more difficult to achieve. Nearly every goal a manager can have is made easier with the support of their staff. Developing the qualities of a leader is the easiest way to get your staff to follow you and help achieve your goals.

Rule Five: Always recommend what is in the guest’s best interest, not yours.

(Note: There are many hyperlinks today that will send you to posts were I have previously addressed specifically issues that I address in this post.)

This is the second time in two days I have sat down to write this post. Yesterday, I got caught up in a tangent which I think serves as an important preface to this post. It even inspired a comment immediately that proved its accuracy. In the preface, I discuss how restaurant companies have encouraged servers to focus on upselling and thus significantly damaged the relationship between servers and their guests.

“Epiphany: noun- a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.”

I suppose there is nothing more simple or commonplace than scrolling through Facebook. I was scrolling through Facebook today trying to decide what to write about for today’s post when I ran across a video my friend Drew posted. The description said it was something people who manage employees should watch. I have been reading and writing quite a bit about that topic lately so I decided to give it a spin. In one video I found the most concise explanation of a phenomenon I have been trying to put my finger on for a while.

For those of you who do not know me personally, I have a confession to make. I am a huge history nerd. This means that The History Channel’s “America: The History of Us” is taking up a large portion on my DVR. I was watching the episode on World War II the other day when a particular statement from a General caught my attention. He talked about the reasons soldiers fight. He said that beyond all other reasons soldiers almost universally fight for the guy in the foxhole with them.

As a server, I can relate to this. When the entire restaurant goes down in the weeds, you don’t fight through it for the sake of corporation or their shareholders. You fight through it for your coworkers. You fight through it for those people who are fighting with you. After the fight it is a bond you share. There are many former coworkers out there I don’t particularly like as people, but will always respect because of the battles we went through together. I would lend them a hand when they need it, because I know I could count on them when I need it.

To take the military analogy further, there are two types of managers: Generals and Sergeants. Generals send you into battle. Sergeants lead you into battle. You fight for Sergeants and you curse Generals under your breath the whole time. Managers who fight with you and for you as Sergeants make you want to fight with and for them. Managers who command as Generals will find a staff unconcerned with helping them win their battles.