All Rise...

Editor's Note

The Charge

Opening Statement

I seem to be the de facto horror fan here at DVD Verdict, and here is my
latest verdict in the genre. I enjoyed Lake Placid, but it failed to
garner my wholehearted enjoyment.

The Evidence

"This year's Anaconda!"
So proclaims the blurb on the back of the box. That may strike some of you in
different ways. Personally, I went into both movies with an open mind, and came
out wholly unimpressed, though I did prefer the big crocodile movie to the big
snake movie. You see, Anaconda took itself too seriously, while Lake
Placid doesn't take itself seriously at all. But then, that's its biggest
drawback. It says something when the top-billed actor describes a movie thusly:
"I think it's like some kind of weird dog that's got a lot of breeds in
it."

Like the family tree of a mongrel, Lake Placid lacks focus, and I'm
going to lay the blame solely at the feet of writer and producer David E.
Kelley. That name should ring a bell for anyone who hasn't been in an
entertainment coma. He is the creator of TV shows like Picket Fences,
The Practice, and Ally McBeal. The only one of those I've actually
seen is Ally McBeal. The show is funny, but only to a certain point. It
lacks cohesiveness—is it a lawyer drama? A soap opera? Or a sitcom? Make
up your bloody mind, and eat a Whopper every so often! But I digress. That same
lack of single-mindedness is evident in Lake Placid. It's hard to be both a
floor wax and a dessert topping. One minute it's a horror movie, the next a
comedy, and sadly this flick fails at both.

Black Lake (apparently, the name Lake Placid was taken, or wouldn't
market the film as well, I'm not sure which) has a 30-foot problem. A crocodile
of said length and indeterminate origins has made its presence known by eating
half of a game warden who was tagging beavers. A motley crew is assembled to
find out what is out there under the murky waters. Jack Wells (Bill Pullman, Independence Day, Lost Highway) is a sarcastic Fish and Game
Department ranger. Sheriff Keough (Brendan Gleeson, Far And Away, Braveheart) is a no-nonsense cop who
was present when the first man was bitten in half. Kelly Scott (Bridget Fonda,
Jackie Brown, A Simple Plan) is a paleontologist from New
York City who hates the outdoors. With the help of several deputies (who should
be wearing red shirts a la Star Trek), they attempt to find the croc in
the lake. They are joined by an unconventional, rich mythology professor, Hector
Cyr (Oliver Platt, Executive Decision, Bicentennial Man). Cyr has
a peculiar fascination with crocodiles, and is the only person who wants to
capture the animal alive. Naturally, he clashes with Wells and Keough, who want
nothing more than to find the creature so it will stop killing people. A key
piece to the "puzzle" seems to be an eccentric old lady (Betty White,
The Golden Girls) who thinks of the crocodile as her pet.

Naturally, there is a bitter showdown between the beast and people armed
with tranquilizer guns. Mayhem ensues, major stars who contractually cannot be
killed off are threatened, and a second crocodile materializes out of nowhere,
all in a slight 82 minutes. It's a fun ride, but not as enjoyable as the movies
to which it can obviously be compared: Jaws, Jurassic Park, and Deep Blue Sea. Each of those movies
was scary, but with the right note of levity to keep them out of straight horror
territory.

It will probably come as no surprise to DVD buffs that Fox did a mediocre
job of producing the DVD of Lake Placid. It's a shame that a company with
such a catalog of high quality transfers like the Alien Legacy box set or
Strange Days can do such a poor job on
everything else. It's equally disheartening when other major summer-of-1999
movies (of equal or lesser quality) have been given red-carpet special edition
treatment, like Wild Wild West, The Haunting and The Phantom Menace. Oh
wait, scratch that last one. My mistake.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

First up, the transfer. Lake Placid is presented in 2.35:1
non-anamorphic widescreen. Overall, it's a good transfer. I noticed no digital
artifacts, though there was a small amount of NTSC moiré shimmering. Shadow
detail was excellent, and colors were accurate. But the picture lacked the
sharpness and detail that an anamorphic transfer would have provided. Perhaps
the studios don't realize that it's not just the 0.02 percent of the population
who own 16x9 sets that benefit from anamorphic transfers; we all get a crisper,
more detailed picture.

Audio is presented in Dolby Digital 5.1, and in Dolby Surround. Dialogue had
that unnatural, ADR-processed sound to it in many scenes. The score and effects
were mostly separated across the front and center channels, with the rear and
subwoofer getting very little use. I didn't bother to see Lake Placid in
the theatres, so I can't comment if the sound mix was like that theatrically.
How hard is it to utilize the rear channels when the effects track features
crickets chirping at night?

If I thought the audio and video were adequate yet unimpressive, I saved my
biggest disappointment for the extras, or lack thereof. A typically self-serving
five-minute featurette, cast bios, three TV spots, and the theatrical trailer
are all that are provided. The featurette is mostly clips from the movie, with a
few interviews and an ever-so-slight look at the animatronic crocodile. The
trailer and TV spots are all matted with stereo sound. I tried to view the bios,
but they are printed in a very tiny font that rendered them unreadable from 14
feet away on my 20" TV. If I have to get up off my couch, they're not worth
reading.

It's bad enough that Lake Placid wastes the acting talents of its
principals. It's even worse that it is a poor showcase for the magic that Stan
Winston and Digital Domain can bring to the screen. For those of you unfamiliar
with his name, Stan Winston is an unparalleled special effects genius. A short
list of his other efforts includes the Terminator movies, Edward Scissorhands, Men In Black, Jurassic Park, and Aliens. He is also one of the
co-founders of Digital Domain, the closest competitor to George Lucas'
Industrial Light and Magic for quality computer graphics work. The animatronic
and CG animals are quite believable, but do not receive nearly enough screen
time. The draw of big animal movies is seeing the big animals doing their thing:
killing. Instead, we get actors clowning around.

Closing Statement

Lake Placid is better than Anaconda, but only because the acting
is a notch better. Makes me wonder what would happen in a Celebrity Deathmatch
between the two CG creatures.

Lake Placid is fun, and will entertain non-discerning horror fans or
those that watch When Animals Attack! specials on the Fox Network. For a
non-anamorphic transfer and piddly extras, its $34.99 price tag is a slap in the
face. It's worth a rental if Deep Blue
Sea is out of stock.

The Verdict

David E. Kelley, the court hereby decrees that your 15 minutes of fame have
expired. Your bulletproof Hollywood Golden Boy status is hereby revoked. 20th
Century Fox, you are invited to join the 21st century, already in progress.
Anamorphic transfers and quality extras are not too much to ask, particularly
for the exorbitant prices with which you gouge the public. The prosecution's
demands for restitution will be honored. Court is adjourned.