Last week, I had a great time at the Romantic Times convention in Orlando. RT is heavily attended by readers who love paranormal and erotic romance, so it wasn’t surprising that I was invited to participate on two panels--one on vampires (since I write vampires) and another on erotic romance.

I always try to write hot sex scenes, so I was flattered when they asked me to join the erotic author panel. Flattered, but not quite prepared. When the discussion turned to having sex in front of an audience--that was my first clue that I was in over my head.

My face turned red while I envisioned my gang of vampire heroes and their lady loves all doing the horizontal mambo in front of an audience and panel of judges like DANCING WITH THE STARS. Carrie Ann Inaba fans herself, claims all my vampire men are hot studmuffins, and lifts her scoring paddle, giving them a nine. Len Goodman gets huffy, complains that it was too raunchy, and suggests they get a room. One big room. He gives them a seven. Bruno Tonioli jumps up and gyrates his hips while purring that my heroines are saucy sex kittens. He gives them a ten. Hurray!

Does this mean I’m going to start writing group sex? Nope. I can only write what I consider sexy. Take one man and one woman deep in the throes of that lusty, adrenaline rush that overwhelms them as they fall madly in love--that’s sexy to me.

Personally, I like my hero to be totally focused on one woman, the only woman in the world for him. I also love a hero who is possessive and greedy. He can’t get enough of his woman, and he would never share her. Any man who looks at his woman had better leave town in a hurry if he wants to keep breathing. Yes, I realize my hero may sound a bit Neanderthal, but don’t worry, my heroines are tough! If the hero tries to drag her off by her hair, she’ll take that caveman down. And, then, my Tarzan and Jane will have hot, sweaty, jungle fever sex!

Back to the panel...and now the topic has shifted to sex partners--is it necessary for the participants to possess the same number of legs? Now my face has turned so red that the other authors on the panel are giving me sympathetic hugs. But, believe it or not, this is a problem I faced while writing my latest release, FORBIDDEN NIGHTS WITH A VAMPIRE. FORBIDDEN NIGHTS stars my first werewolf hero, Phil Jones. How far do you go when matching a werewolf hero to a vampire heroine?

I dealt with the animal problem by making Phil an Alpha wolf. An author can build her world anyway she likes (as long as she doesn’t break her own rules). In the world I created, an Alpha werewolf has reached a level that is superior to your normal run-of-the-mill werewolf. An Alpha has the ability to shift fully or partially at any time. He’s not dependent on a full moon. If he needs to, he can summon all the power of the wolf while retaining human form. That enabled Phil to be super strong, fast, and sexy in both human and animal form. And, when it came to sex scenes, he was able to make love like a wild animal while remaining human.

Back to the panel where thankfully, the discussion has left animals and drifted to the human male anatomy. With my face bright red, I proudly announce that Wikipedia has videos of a male erection and ejaculation. Suddenly, fifty women are madly at work on their Iphones and Blackberries. Then, someone wonders how long a sex scene should last. Ten pages? A hundred pages? The entire book? At that point, my contribution to the panel is--for an erection lasting longer than four hours, you should consult your doctor. They may think again before asking me to join the erotic author panel.

And now, showing my more innocent side, I recently made a video at HarperCollins where I described the Love at Stake series using dolls. Not just any dolls, either. These are Barbie and Ken dolls that my daughter transformed into goth vampire dolls. For some innocent (and totally not erotic) fun, watch the video starring Roman and Shanna Draganesti and their son Constantine. You’ll also meet Vanda, the heroine from FORBIDDEN NIGHTS WITH A VAMPIRE.

FORBIDDEN NIGHTS is on sale now. Hopefully, it will match up to your personal definition of what’s really sexy. I’m also hoping that like Bruno, you’ll lift up your scoring paddle and shout “Ten!”

18 Comments:

Hi Kerrelyn, you did a fabulous job on the panel and I know everyone in the audience enjoyed it! Renee does a great job keeping them in line but Dakota's so funny.Got my copy of Forbidden Nights and can't wait to dig in.

Love your post, Kerry. Absolutely hilarious, and I can just picture your face.

And Horatio, that's why it's fiction. We can make those guys ultimately good guys with our best interests at heart, not abusive, when we write them. In real life, chances are I'd kick a guy like that to the curb (I adore my "nice guy" husband), but in romantic fiction all I can say is, "Yum."

Kerrelyn, LOL, OK, can I confess I had to go to Wiki, you know...just to see for myself! I listened in on the radio show...and loved All I want for Christmas is a Vampire!Hope to meet you one day...my first book is coming out with Avon next April!