Friday, 1 October 2010

This is a picture of me monitoring my kingdom. It must be spring because it looks fairly tidy! We've had so much rain recently that I get lost in the long grass. Still, at least I have something on which to chew if I'm feeling a bit icky. What to tell you? Where to start?
A couple of weeks ago I went for Jellification and came home shorn - you may remember. And it's got chilly so I needed my fur. I digress. I fancy I heard Mrs. Jelley talking about my ears. 'Put Sudacrem on the inside of the leathers' she said to SWMBO. Leathers? Ear flaps to you and me. Well Mum went off to the pharmacy for the cream and couldn't find it. She told HWMBO that she'd asked the pharmacist and he said quite forcefully that he could NOT prescribe anything for a dog. I was pleased to hear that but do you think she took any notice of this learned gentleman? Of course not. She just went elsewhere and said the cream was for her or a baby or some such. There I was, having a nice dream - my legs running in the air, when I was held down by one of them and the cream was applied to my 'leathers' by the other. Well, this stuff stinks and my nose has to put up with it 24/7 - as they say on TV. I have lost all my cred in the park and the other dogs won't come anywhere near me. What a dog has to go through! I ask you. I don't mind having dandruff in my ears and I've had no complaints from the ladeeeez!
Want to hear what Charles Ward has been up to? Don't laugh please. They are not amused. Charles's dad, Terry, likes to play rough and tumble on the floor with the dogs. Normally they all have a good time but last week, Charles threw his head up onto Terry's jaw and broke his dental bridge. The cost of the dental work will amount to £1,700 or thereabouts. Of course only a moron would find it funny and so it was that SWMBO had to apologise profusely to the Ward family for finding humour in such a grave situation. She tried to wriggle out of it by saying that she was worried about Charles's head. No, still not funny Mum.
I've heard them talk about going out for the day on Sunday to a country show. They want to take me but the forecast is for rain and I don't really want to go. I may ask Benson's owner if I can stay there for the day. I'll have to promise not to bark or be a nuisance. Perhaps I should go there for a hour to see if I like it beforehand. Yes, that's a plan. Watch this blog.