Tuesday, December 28, 2004

I have returned gentle readers, after an extended hiatus caused by Warcraft, that creation of the devil.
(I played with that sentence a bit. I was going to write "...an extended hiatus caused by that creation of the devil, Warcraft". However of further examining that sentence I realized that it could be misconstrued as me having been ensnared by an unknown creation of the devil named Warcraft.)

A small point. When I write Warcraft I mean the World of Warcraft. End of small point.

As you might have guessed, oh gentle reader, this will be a rather long, wandering and rambling post.

As soon as I typed that sentence out, the words ceased to flow. I nearly went back and changed that sentence to "This will be a rather short and abruptly terminated post."

I will persevere though for you my loyal audience.

So what do I write?

I have Sinatra's "Autumn in New York" playing on Winamp in the background, so I suppose I will start with my last trip to that city. That trip took place over the thanksgiving weekend. That is late fall, and so I suppose that that song is really appropriate. (The next song was the “King of wishful thinking”. I won’t even begin to speculate about that.)

Thanksgiving weekend was a blast. I love New York City. As we drove into the city, a DJ on the radio called it the greatest city on Earth. I agree. Bangalore will always be the city closest to my heart, but New York City is…New York City. Hey, I never claimed to be particularly articulate. (Insert grinning emoticon here)

Back to the weekend. First time that I actually spent time in Central Park. Very pretty. (Heh, those three sentences were flagged for incorrect grammar by Word. Ah, for a Wren and Martin). Then we (The other member of the we was Penwala who has the good fortune of living twenty minutes from the city) ended up at a little hole in the wall Indian Restaurant right outside Grand Central Station. The Hurry Burry Curry place or something like that. Incredible rolls.

Hmm…Even by my rather poor standards this has been a particularly incoherent and unstructured rendition. I shall rewind a bit. We shall take this step by step. Stay with me gentle reader.

We left right on the day of Thanksgiving. This is a different “we” from the previous “we”. This we comprised Chinmay aka chauffer and two passengers. Me, being one of the passengers. (For some reason, people do not seem to be eager to see me behind the steering wheel of a car. I wonder why?). Well, this country shuts down on Thanksgiving as people chomp down on their turkeys and …um other Thanksgiving food. We found this out much to our chagrin when we couldn’t find a single place to eat at on the way to New Jersey. I finally had to settle for a candy bar from a friendly vending machine. That is pretty much all I remember about the drive. I was either asleep or pretending to be asleep during most of it.

I have reached that point in the blog where the urge to slack off is almost overwhelming, but I shall still persevere. Onward, atheist soldier.

Continuing the theme of every place being closed on that night, I was forced to have dinner at a “Dunkin Donut”, but this was not just any “Dunkin Donut”. It was a “Dunkin Donut” in New Jersey not owned by a Gujarati. Amazing. Thus ended day one.

The next day was forgettable. Hit a few malls to see if there was anything worth picking up. However, me being a student, everything worth picking up was too expensive or too out of my league. We then drove to Manhattan with the express purpose of doing nothing and just roaming the city. Always a worthwhile endeavor. I should mention that Penwala had seen less of the city than I had. Despite living but twenty minutes from it. Go figure. Roamed central park and had dinner in that place I spoke about. Drank copious amounts of coffee, and had a good time. Oh yes, we got ticketed for parking too long at our spot

My Warcraft addiction hadn’t abated yet, so I carried my laptop with me and managed to get a couple of hours play in each night.

I need help.

Back to the trip. The next day we returned to the city. Roamed about downtown for quite a bit. Had lunch at that same Indian restaurant, and met Crao after a show at the Museum of Natural history (That was the geek’s idea, not mine. I wanted to go the Met). The highlight of the day was a comedy club near Times Square. Clichéd though it may seem to write this, words cannot begin to describe the good time we had there. So…I shall not attempt to describe it (Good way to cop out of writing something…what?). Ended the day with Tiramisu at a disreputable place in little Italy that Crao claimed, from previous experience, was excellent.

He was right.

The final day. Not the end of this rendition, but the final day of the weekend. Three not so enjoyable hours on the Garden State Parkway, because the road was “flooded”, for a hundred feet in two inches of water. That caused traffic to back up for fifteen miles. Pigged out at Edison, quick swing by Daya’s place and we left for home.

This reminds me…I have to call up Daya.

And there you have it gentle reader, Thanksgiving weekend in a nutshell. Nothing much has happened after that. A little explosive self destruction, a couple of forays into the Gaff and Ocean’s twelve. Good fun in the most part.
Sidebar. I completed this account today, a week after I started. In the interim my roommates have left for New Jersey and I personally crept out of the apartment after four days when I did not have to see another human being’s face.

Side sidebar. My Mage is up to level 46.

Final Sidebar. To all my friends in State College, visiting India right now, the weather has been surprisingly good. And I hope that it falls to fifteen below zero when you return.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

To my loyal audience, I'm apologize. It has been quite some since I last posted.

I haven't been particularly busy, I have just been particularly lazy. I noticed that my last posting was my rather cryptic set of rules. I was in a bad mood so let it go.

What has happened since then?

Well I went to Philadelphia and Atlantic City. Met a long lost cousin who is no longer long lost. Um..since this was the first time that I was actually meeting her, I don't think that I can precisely qualify her as long lost. A never met and now newly found cousin, I suppose. She studies at U-Penn, where my fellow travelers and I met up with her and a friend of one of my fellow travelers. Had lunch, saw the university and a bit of the city. Not necessarily in that order.

U Penn has a very pretty campus. Right in the middle of the city. And Wharton is very, very impressive. The nice thing about U Penn, apart from the fact that it is in a real city is that they do not have all those horribly ugly buildings built in a futuristic style that we see here at Penn State.

And then it was off to Atlantic City, that den of iniquity, that city of decadence, that Jewel of New Jersey. Good fun.

We met up with Penwala at the Econolodge and then wended our way to the casinos. I ended up at the Trump Taj Mahal, bright, glittering and so painfully gaudy. So painfully tacky.

People playing at the slots, their eyes glazed over, and I do not think I saw a single person winning at the slots. But they continued to play. And they continued to lose. I followed their excellent example and proceeded to lose thirty bucks in double quick time at a number of the machines. I would have liked to have played blackjack, but being a poor grad student, I could not afford the minimum bet.

And then we ended up at the Casbah after a slight detour at the Hard Rock Café, where great steps were made. The cover charge for the Casbah was twenty dollars and was worth every cent. Enough said.

We draw a discrete curtain over the events at the Casbah, and I shall continue with the rest of the tale. Penwala had for certain reasons decided to cut out early for Hackesack, and I decided that we should go there directly from the casino instead of heading back to the motel room,

Yup. That was a good plan.

We navigated the treacherous back alleys of Atlantic City and managed to find the NJ Transit bus terminal. We got directions from some cops who were busy escorting someone into the back of one of their cars.

We caught the bus to Newark and after getting directions from Penwala we took the train to Secaucus, from where we were supposed to catch a bus to Hackensack. A workable plan. One small hitch. There are no buses to Hackensack on Sunday.

After much begging from FNU, Penwala agreed to pick us up from the station. Unfortunately he lost his way not once, but twice. The first time he ended back in Hackensack after an hour of driving, and the second time, he ended up at an asylum for the criminally insane. He finally managed to pick us up and I finally got to see his apartment.

We then convinced our “driver” in Atlantic City, that it would be a better idea for him to come to my uncle Daya’s house in Summit rather than us going back to where he was.

Hackensack is a nice town. Some quaint areas. Some bad areas. And a pretty reasonable Indian store where I bought thirty five packets of Parathas.

Ah, Daya’s house. My sanctuary in New Jersey. Mooched lunch off of them. But in exchange, I was made to rake the yard.

Painful work.

When I finally do have I house I will ensure that leaves that fall from trees will be shot at sight and dismembered with happy alacrity.

The ride arrived at Summit and we left for Edison, at a restaurant recommended to us by my aunt Priya. I had the best Pav Bhaji there that I have ever had.

The rest of the trip was mundane. The “driver” Arun’s friend was dropped of at a train station so that she could make her way back to Manhattan and Columbia.

Friday, October 29, 2004

1) I'm number one.
2) Fuck the world.
3) Dont bother being nice, it does not pay off.
4) Remember that the rest of the world thinks that it is number one.
5) The rest of the world is wrong.
6) Alcohol is bad for you.
7) Drink it anyway.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The weekend has ended. Probably one of the better weekends I've had in quite some time.

It began a normal weekend, a weekend when we had plans to go to New Jersey, which got shelved on Friday afternoon. This naturally pissed off Penwala, since I’ve been telling him that I’d be coming down to his place for the last four weekends. So at fourish I tell him that we aren’t coming. And he calls back fifteen minutes later saying that he is coming down to State College.

He reaches here at eleven and we head out to Mad Mex in Chinmays rented car. Seeing the long line at the establishment we decide to head off to the G-man. I wish to point out that I opposed going to the G-man because the line at Mad Mex was extremely attractive (I love women in short black skirts). So we headed out to the G-man, which was had a line of equal attractiveness and greater length outside it. At this point we decided to head back to Mad Mex.

A brief summary of the events at Mad Mex:
Siddharth claimed that he was neither getting drunk nor high.
Siddharth got drunk.
I did not get drunk.
I muffed up a chance with a really, really hot blonde in a really really short skirt.
The car got towed away.

End of Friday night.

Saturday. We ended up at Mad Mex again. I did not get drunk, but Jaegarmeister shots rock. Certain other people got totally drunk. However, I shall not name any names.

End of Saturday night

Sunday dawned, and ended rather tamely. We all overslept. Penwala returned to New Jersey.

Monday, October 04, 2004

I will never understand people. When I am the emperor of the universe, and trust me, that will happen one day, I will order that all people give ten valid reasons for anything they do.

Treated my feckless roommates at Bombay Grill (formerly Shaalimar) today. The food was nothing extraordinary, except for the Gulab Jamoons. They were incredible. Truly they were.

I was supposed to be working today, and I actually got a little done, before I got sidetracked into reading the Warriors' Apprentice. Lois McMaster Bujold is an excellent writer of space operas. Her world building skills are pretty good and the plot lines are reasonably taut and well written. But where she truly excels is in character development. I find myself really caring about the characters and what happens to them. And not just the main characters, even the bit players are very well written, so well written that I wish she’d spin them off into their own novels.

That’s it. I apologize for not reading something incredibly intellectual like “The Great Gatsby”, or “Ulysses”, or “The Fountainhead”. But I am just a simple man of simple tastes who prefers a simple entertaining page turner over those pieces of pseudo-intellectual trash.

I’m done venting.

Programming in Java is fun. (That line was just for you Chilli).

The devil is unwell today. I shall take some time out and humor him.

The following is a transcript of our chat. I am blogging it as we chat. It has been edited for content and secrecy.

Nah… I changed my mind.

I have a feeling that my blogging frequency shall increase over the next few days.

Catch up time. I am attending this TA training course. And last week was my presentation, when I got up and did a little pretend lecture for the other Teaching Assistants for fifteen minutes. I was a tad nervous, but the wise ass in me won over, and at the end of class the instructor said I had used my sense of humor to connect well with class. Ah, being a wiseass paid off.

The devil suggested a few drinks, and since he is an expert I shall take his suggestions. They are, in no particular order, Tequilla, Sembuca, Creme De Menthe, Kalua, Tia Maria, Smirnoff Black Ice, Cutty Sarks and Irish Bitters. I’ll ask him for more after I try all this.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Alcohol has the effect of making me spill the beans. It happened two weeks ago and it happened again on Friday. Note that I do not regret spilling the beans. I was glad to get the beans off my chest. And since the beans were already known by some, I don't suppose that it was a big deal.

I could ramble on now, I feel the need to ramble on because I think I sighted a shark, and nary a spear-gun on me.

I do not like sharks. Other people seem to enjoy the company of sharks, but I'd rather they stay far, far away.

Some things cannot be fixed once they are broken. I seem to have this knack of driving people away. I also have this knack of driving people on the wrong side of the road. (A weak sally gentle reader, but please bear with me)

(Remember RII? The first caravan has started out from City one to City four. A train, ten kilometers long and ten stories high.)

Time seems to speed up during the semester. I'm running out of it. Too many mistakes, too many blunders, too much alcohol.

Sheesh, that does sound pathetic.

I grow weary of this Rajneesh. He has therefore been discarded.

I think...No I'm sure, that the driver on the R bus was drunk today. And trust me, I can recognize a person when they are drunk. Spoke to Norfolk today. Those guys sure know how to have fun.

I’m still playing Doom3, the demo, cannot afford the retail version of the game. Yup, I do have an exciting life. I find that I do not like the game as much as I thought I would. The weapon handling does not seem very crisp, but I think that that is my computer beginning to show its age. The rig has served me loyally for a year and a half but age has caught up with it. Time to get a new machine, or maybe just upgrade this one.

Working out is painful. You do have to have a streak of masochism to do it for any extended period of time.

Kerry won the debate. I’m happy about that. Will it affect the outcome? I don’t know, since most of the people who watch the debates have already made up their minds one way or the other.

That was my feeble attempt to write about a topic other than me in this blog. Do not get me wrong. I find myself endlessly fascinating. It is out of concern for you, gentle reader, that I veer off the topic of Rajneesh and descend into the cruel world.

Weird I am. Agree I do. (That’s me doing my Yoda impression).

Late night TV is freaky, truly it is. Weird advertisements for weirder products. Lots of “Girls Gone Wild” advertisements. That’s always good. Lots of freaky infomercials for products that no one would ever buy. (That observation was a rip of a Seinfeld bit).

Back to Friday. We were ar café 210 and a halfway decent band was playing. The only song I remember though is that infernally infectious song by Lisa Loeb. I do suppose I should list out what I had. The drinks, in the order in which I had them were a Rum and Coke (always a reliable choice), a Vodka Manhattan(Yuk), one and a half Yuenglings (beer beer beer), a Mikes Hard Lemonade(yum) and finally a Rum shot(Was too far gone by then to comment about it).

As you might guess I was a tad tipsy. Just a wee bit. I do not remember much, but I do remember asking some blonde for her phone number and getting shot down. Ended up at Taco Bell, where I ended up repeating what I had done at Bangalore’s Pizza hut, when Aja had come down. Well we finally caught the bus home and in it I ran into a junior, a friend of my roommates’. She informed them Saturday morning that I was quite drunk.

We did have a long serious conversation after getting off the bus. And we did talk a bit about the beans. At least I think we did. Or we talked about maize and the chief agricultural products of Bavaria. I do not remember anymore.

The night ended. I managed to let myself into the apartment without falling flat on my face even once. A major achievement I assure you, gentle reader. I even chatted briefly with my mom, and sent off a message to Bangalore letting them know that I was sloshed.

I then slept.

The sleep of the innocent, the blameless and the drunk. The sleep of an innocent, blameless drunk.

Thursday, September 30, 2004

I have been called caustic and it has been claimed that I have been acting weird. I will now respond to these scurrilous allegations.

Um...

Fine, I have a caustic sense of humor, but in my defense, I am caustic only with those who know that I am never serious. But since it seems that this is being construed as meanness, I shall cease to be caustic towards those who want me to cease and desist.

I shall be all polite and respectful and boringly bland.

Sadly, this seems to make people believe that I am acting weird.

Vicious circle, what?

Incidentally, I do not ACT weird.
I AM weird. There is a not so unsubtle difference between the two.

Back to the vicious circle.

Hmmmm…

That’s no fun.

So if I’m trapped I might as well go down with all guns blazing
.
On that hopefully ominous note, I shall change the topic.

Semester drags on, and by and large it is far less fun than summer.

I have started programming in Java again. Three cheers. I had forgotten how much fun that is. I’m hunting for that elusive job, which will help me get out of Nowhere, Pa. As I said before, lots of money and very little actual work.

While on the subject of jobs, congratulations Ameya on Intel. Back to Bangalore after all this time away. Now by my calculations, Kaushik and I will be the only ones away from the gang, and since our resident plutocrat is in Madras, which is three hops four skips and half a jump away from Bangalore, I am the only one away. On the subject of people being away, Inder, have a great time in Germany. However, since Inder refuses to read my blog, he will never read that.

On the subject of congratulations, congratulations Chinmay , on the candidacy. May we get drunk again, and have another serious conversation.

I think I’ll rewrite the infamous “Manifesto” , one of these days and for a change, I will try to follow it.

No, Really I will. Trust me. I will. No kidding.

Disappointment. I might not be able to make it to India in December.

To those who know, I’m looking for a spear gun to hunt all those pesky sharks. Preferably a weapon that will inflict upon them a long and painful death. Or like the crossbow from Halflife.

Heh. That would be fun. I’m sure Kaushik remembers me potting him from across the warehouse/storage area in the Stalkyard. Incidentally, I lost that map only twice, out of all the times that we played. Here’s to the wastelands, with Kwai and Inder screaming for someone, anyone to defend the flag and Kaushik coming up with inspired defense strategies.

An extract from the removed post, the unposted post from that memorable early morning blogging session.
“
Running on fumes.

Kaushik:Well dhimant and Yes Lunch
Chilli and me singing Supra Jyotsna
Dhannu and Basant
Me fooling Amey to go the wrong way in NBA
Dhimant feeling up Aja's leg in KFC
Me going to KFC 4 straight days
Rajesh Whistling
Inder asking directions from rajneesh's place to my place

Ameya:as a continuation..
a)inder not finding my house after coming there for 2
continuous days on his own
b)cracking KSS jokes at night...
c)the cricket in florence school ground..
d)our experience with dr.amarnaths energitic biscuits
after the cricket
e)half life taking almost an year to complete and
every1 contributing to the shooting while chilli
controlled the movements
f) chillis and rajneesh escapades with princi

Inder:Kerosene xerox
Light a match stick in the exam hall, enough kersone on everyone's hands to set off a small explosion

Me:Tomato bhath/bath at the canteen, ameya giving talks to the juniors, kaushik
in workshop clothes 7 days a week.

Dhimant:What about surfing the net on chilli's shell account?? Downloading pics
based on the file names and getting a bang out of it.

Excuses:
1) Kaushik not able to go doubles in his Kinetic coz of some tyre problem
2) Rajjo not staying over at my place coz of coughing!
3) Akshai not coming for a movie coz "we didnt call him earlier!"

Jokes:
1) Evergreen It jokes! :)
2) In toto, auto

Misc:
1) Kaushik getting a gross margin of 10 bucks on a single visiting card
2) Ameya running over the dogs of bangalore
3) The mega treat by akshai, dhim & ameya which had madhav, sandeep, nair,
etc. And they didnt even know that ameya was part of the hosts.

Rajesh:1) A to Z shop where we used to stop by for a Juice after the exams
2) Chilli being very modest abt the exams and maxing out every sem.
3) Dhimanth's book filled with the practised question and answers.
4) Rajneesh's wild playing of Basket ball in Malleswaram grounds leadin
to breakage of his glasses.
5) Word game in the class and chilli findin the answers in record time.
6) Kaushik's permanent tent in the Basket ball court in college.
7) Multiplayer games played during the college fest. Especially Capture
the flag, when everybody started shoutin in the Electronis lab.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Saturday, September 04, 2004

Semester has started. No courses. Only a colloqium (gulp) and my thesis (double gulp). Four more months and I'm out of here gentle reader. The Rajneesh is ready to enter the work force again. Preferably in a job that pays a lot of money and involves very little actual work.

Yup, High hopes.

It's happening again. Now, that semester has started, time will speed up. I'll sneeze and it'll be December. My time here will be done.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

I did think of calling this post, "Where I am alive to write about it...(Part 4)", but I decided against it.

It's been two weeks since New York, and life has settled back to normal, or as close to normal as it gets. Well actually a trifle boring.

Saw just one movie, Alien versus Predator. The Predators won. Kind of. Watch the movie. It was not as bad as I expected it to be.

Daya should be in Bangalore about now. Meeting my parents. I wonder if that will set off any explosions. Hope not.

The apartment is finally clean.

The part of the blog that is below this statement was written a week after the part of the blog that is above the part of the blog that is below the part of the blog that is above. Chilli, your favorite prof.

Saw another movie. "Open water", and now I will never go scuba diving ever.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

When you last saw them, our intrepid hero and his companions had just returned from a second night out in Manhattan. The task that lay ahead of them was two fold, dropping Divya off at Newark International Airport and getting back to State College.

We woke that morning, a tad late. Just an hour and a half late. I got just four hours of sleep. After being woken by Daya and getting directions from him, we set off on what would become an epic journey.

We reach Newark Airport completely incident free and drop off Divya at Terminal A (Delta Atlanta). And then we leave for good old' State College.

We reach it without incident four hours later.

Um...

No.

We reach State College, seven hours later after just a few minor incidents.

So there we are. We've just left Newark Airport and we actually make it to I-80 incident free. I was hungry so we decided to get something to eat. The first detour we took got us lost in the wilds of New Jersey (Surprisingly New Jersey does have wilds). We end up at a really desolate lawyers office where a secretary and a cop point us back to the freeway. Well, the secretary gave us the correct directions; the cop gave us the wrong ones. He did follow us and then give us the correct directions.

The next detour we took resulted in us reaching a PNCBank branch, which was convenient (My bank, so could go to the ATM). Now we have money but still no food.

The final major detour for food was then taken (My grammar sucks and I'm pretty sure that I am mixing up tenses with, for lack of a better phrase, gay abandon). We reach this nice, friendly deli place off I-80. Good food, egg and cheese on rolls and a Danish. That’s what I had. And a cup of coffee.

Back to the story. The car is on fire. And then a bunch of guys appear from nowhere. They pop open the hood, remove the burning clumps of grass. Pour water over the smoking innards, close the hood and disappear.

The fire incidentally was clumps of grass stuck under the car from Friday’s incident. They decided to catch fire for some reason on Monday.

The fire is out. We go back in. Finish our breakfast. Fill up on coffee. And leave.

That was a rather inadequate narrative, but that’s the best that I can do.

Well, the rest of the trip was really pretty eventless. Made a lot of rest stops on the way because I was so sleepy, drank heaps of coffee, ate lots of chocolate and stayed awake.

Thirty miles outside of state college, I smashed my right thumb in the car door. Just to make the drive back more challenging.

That’s about it.

Dropped the car off at Enterprise. Didn’t have to pay a cent. A bit of advice gentle reader, if ever you rent a car, TAKE EVERY POSSIBLE KIND OF INSURANCE.

Saturday, August 21, 2004

When we last saw them our intrepid hero (that's me) and his inept, helpless companions (that's my inept helpless companions) had just left JFK. And now the story continues...

We left JFK at two thirtyish and promptly got lost in Queens. So I asked some dudes for directions and finally got pointed towards Manhattan (The directions pretty much were, go straight and stop at the river). We drove over some bridge and managed to get to Manhattan at threeish. The view of the skyline from the bridge was breathtaking, or so I have been told, since I had to keep my eyes glued to the road and could not see the skyline.

Well, it's three in the morning. We are in Manhattan. We have no place to stay and I realize that we are pretty much out of gas. Yes, a nearly empty tank. Yay.

We then decided that it would be prudent for us to get some gas. And this is the US; getting gas should not be a problem should it? This country is in love with the automobile, isn't it? Small hitch. There do not seem to be many gas stations in Manhattan. As a matter of fact, I am now convinced that there is only one gas station in Manhattan. Again I get directions to the gas station from some kind late birds. The place naturally is as far away from our present location as possible, without actually being in the river. After a lengthy struggle, which involves me trying to navigate the one ways and having Divya (person picked up at JFK) hop out and ask for directions from a deli we finally arrive at the gas station.

Naturally the guy in charge at the gas station was a desi.

After a minor struggle to figure out how the pump actually worked, we filled her up and were off on our merry way.

Um...

Not really.

We still did not have a place to stay.

So, we begin the search for a place to stay. Both my passengers are now comatose. We drive up and down Amsterdam Avenue looking for a cheap hotel. Notice the emphasis on cheap. A guy at an all night deli told me about a cheap hotel. Unfortunately his accent was so thick that he might have been telling me about his granduncle's back pain condition for all the sense he made. Another guy at an all-night cafe told me about a cheap place called the Amsterdam Inn.

Ended up there. The cheapest available room cost a hundred and fifty bucks a night. We left.

I finally broke. Called Chinmay's friend. It was now five in the morning. He arranged for us to stay at a friend's place on 109th street. And that is where we finally ended up.

I dropped off the passengers and then spent 10 minutes hunting for a parking place. Made one abortive attempt at parallel parking and then gave up. Finally found a spot on Cathedral Street. Parked there. Before that I was pulled up by a cop on suspicions of being a terrorist (The car had a temporary sticker and permanent plates, which is highly suspicious, I do agree).

I finally hit the sack at five thirty, and sleep the sleep of the dead until I wake at eleven thirty.

We then made another stab at the Amsterdam Inn. The cheapest room is still a hundred and fifty bucks. We decide against it and I make a call to Daya and we get to crash at his place.

We reach his house in Summit at two after I drive the treacherous route from New York with crazy drivers driving at insane speeds. One small deviation, when I missed an exit but we found our way back, and ended up in Summit and peace.

We leave by train for the city a few hours later. We take in Times Square, I was amused a great deal and we arrived back in Summit at three in the morning.

The next day we left for Manhattan again after a smashing brunch provided by Daya. Roamed Manhattan a bit, had to restrain Anusha from going into a gay bar and took the Harbor Lights boat ride, which was truly fantastic. Had dinner at a truly expensive Mexican place and ended up at Times Square again before we returned to Summit.

The conclusion and the exciting fire in the car, in my next post.

Um...

I also wish to reiterate that I did not start the argument on the train.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Well, here we are again boys and girls. Been sometime since we last met. A bit has happened in the interim, and as the title says, I am alive to write about it.

It was a blustery Friday evening when a passenger and I set out to New York City in a Nissan Centra. We reached I-80 relatively incident free and were going on our merry way, when I drifted off.

Yes, gentle audience, on I-80 West at a speed of seventy miles an hour, in the fast lane I decided to drift off. I drift back into semi-consciousness and notice that I am on the grass divider. That's no big deal. All I'm supposed to do is to drift gently back onto the road.

What I instead decide to do is panic, (Why? Coz it seemed to be such a good idea at the time) and slam on the brakes.

Not a good idea.

Not a good idea at all.

Well I then promptly lose control of the car and it spins and does a complete three sixty a couple of times before coming to a stop with the front bumper against the railing in the service lane on the opposite side of the freeway, which is I-80 East. Notice that the car managed to miss the traffic that was coming down the two lanes at seventy miles an hour.

So there we are.

In the service lane. Perpendicular to the road. A couple of old men stop their cars and tell me to get mine out of the way, because I could still get hit. So I backed onto the road (Notice I was not thinking clearly.) and drove to an exit where I cleaned the car at a car wash and continued to JFK.

Got lost a couple of times on the way. Took a few wrong exits and ended up in some really bad neighborhoods in Newark, but we finally reached JFK. I did have to drive through Manhattan to get to the airport and that was great fun.

Well the car was pretty badly fucked. The air conditioning was destroyed and the steering column had this disconcerting tendency to vibrate when I went above sixty. And occasionally the gears would not shift properly from neutral to drive.

So we finally picked up the person from JFK and...

Well the weekend in Manhattan will be described later.

So will the drive back, when the car caught fire and I was falling asleep…
That’s it for now folks. More later.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

I did not focus on my first long drive alone, in my previous post, so I shall do so now.
Yes, my first long drive at the tender age of twenty five.

I took West College Avenue out of town and drove to parts of State College I hardly knew existed. I couldn’t see much; the night was a tad too dark, the road a tad too narrow, the driver a tad too nervous. But I enjoyed it. A few bad moments, when the windshield fogged over from the outside, and I kept desperately wiping it from the inside. And when I ran through a red light, because...Um no excuses. I just didn’t see the light turn.

The drive lasted an hour. A very enjoyable hour. I think I will be driving a lot more.

The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I’ve seen that road before
It always leads me her
Lead me to you door

The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
Crying for the day
Why leave me standing here
Let me know the way

Many times I’ve been alone
And many times I’ve cried
Any way you’ll never know
The many ways I’ve tried

But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago
Don’t leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door

But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago
Don’t leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I rather like that song.

Well we moved. Partially. I think I will have to junk most of the furniture. I find that I will actually miss Parkway Plaza, and I wonder why?

Time and distance. Time and distance, is the answer, I suppose. Time is not on my side, and distance has decided to be a bastard too.

What I need is a TARDIS. I'd rather fight Daleks, Icemen and the Master, than continue to do this.

Since this post has pretty much gone the way of the previous one, I will ramble on a bit.

I am twenty-five. I might have mentioned that fact before, but do try to remember it this time, gentle reader. I am twenty-five and I wonder whether the best years of my life are behind me, and all that lies ahead is the long slippery slide into adulthood? A future barren of fun and excitement? Where boredom rules and mundanity prances in the prairies of normalcy.

That scares me.

A lot.

I did once say that the perfect age was my current age, whatever it is at that time. I certainly hope so. But I begin to doubt it.

Incidentally Doom3 released. To the instruments of death and mayhem people.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Bear with me as I proceed to do the famous "Rajneesh wallowing in self pity" act.

I suppose I should start at the very beginning. To my ardent fans this is the event that caused me to get so memorably drunk. This is the event that caused me to rant. I don't think I have been able to get out of this blue funk since then.

At least I haven't been able to get out of it for long. And each time the non-blue funk intervals seem to get shorter and shorter (Chilli funk isn't funky so let it go. Please.).

I'm moving into my new apartment this weekend with a couple of new kids and this seems to have added to the depression. Apparently, when you expect one roommate and you instead get two brand new roommates who aren't your good friend, you tend to be a bit disappointed.

Um...I apologize for the rather muddled grammar and unclear thought in that previous paragraph, but you get my drift.

We rented a car. I drove it around a bit. A little more than a bit. I have found that I actually enjoy driving. This is inspite of the fact that I pretty much suck as a driver. So I filled the tank with gas, and drove out of town around midnight. Ended up in the middle of nowhere. Nearly gave a poor dude a heart attack when I ran a red light.

I literally tried to drive away my depression, but it did not work. It left for a while when I rode into town again, but it is now back and worse than ever.

I saw her today at the reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she was gonna meet her connection
At her feet was a footloose man
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need
...

I tip my hat to Mick and the boys. Rock on, dudes.

I will contradict myself.

I haven't been in a blue funk all summer.

I have had different, completely independent blue funks with intervals of non-blue funkness.

Yes, that is better.

Redemption. The world has to redeem itself in my eyes. It can go about this in two ways. Either go through the crap that I have had flung at me, which would mean that this planet earth would have to blow up in a giant fireball. Or make up for the crap with five hundred billion dollars(US) in my bank account(PNCBANK, routing number and checking account number available on request).

This is probably not the right time for me to post anything. I am pretty sure that I am not thinking clearly and that my judgment is impaired. But I do not seem to give a fuck.

I will ramble on.

A new word courtesy of Pearls Before Swine : A Rajneeshcentric universe. Ah if it were so, but tis unfortunate that it is not. A tiny unimportant speck is the Rajneesh. The aliens on Grabloyx, do not give a damn about him(Him = me). They are all busy watching "The Bold and the Bractowwoxmok".

A shout out to Chilli's blog. A word I hate: Funda. A phrase I like: "Life, she goes on".

An apology.

This blog will continue to be intensely personal and irritatingly cryptic. I do wonder who would want to waste any time reading the maudlin thoughts of a perpetually spaced out grad student.

I should give you, my gentle reader a trenchant, forthright opinion on the matters of the day, art, philosophy and life. So here goes.
Matters of the day: Kerry should win.
Art: If it looks like crap, dont buy it.
Philosophy: Life: She goes on.

I can't resist this. What the fuck was the deal with the well and the candle? Please someone do explain that to me.

I used to be cynical and hard. I do remember that. Please, can I go back to that?

The clock has struck four and my eyes begin to shut. I bid thee a fond adieu, gentle reader.

Friday, July 30, 2004

Well I finally caved in. Bought myself a cell phone. Well that happened on the 26th and it finally was delivered the day before yesterday.
I wasted an entire day waiting for the UPS dude to turn up. I could have been doing something productive.

Like...

Um...

You know...

You get my drift. Something productive.

Anyway. The phone turned up. I put the battery in the wrong way so naturally it did not work. I panicked (Yes, gentle reader I really am a Computer Science Grad Student.). So I called up the customer service at Amazon, AT&T and Motorola. It was during my second call to Amazon that I realized what I had done. The phone worked fine right after the battery went in the right way.

Incidentally Amazon has already dispatched a replacement phone.

So, I have a cell phone. It's very pretty. It doubles up as a camera. It has an address book and a calculator.

I then realize that there really is no one I want to talk to. So I called up my land line from the cell phone. And then my cell phone from the land line. And well, that was about it.

Oh yes, I did synchronize it with MSN and Yahoo messengers.

Well, I finally crumbled. I have joined the mindless masses and I have a cell phone. I'll have to switch it off in theaters and airplanes. I'll have to plug it in every night and remember to take it with me in the morning.

Ah, the joys of modern technology.

Last Word: Do not work out in the gym in a bad mood. You will hurt yourself.

Really Last Word: That was just to let you know, o gentle reader that I do work out.

Absolutely Last Word: Chilli, I apologize. I just could not come up with the kind of blog we discussed.

Final Last Word: It is life's little ironies that make death such a popular alternative.

Monday, July 26, 2004

I seem to have this amazing knack for pissing people off. I wonder why?

I am a thoughtful, considerate person.

Yes I am.

Really.

Honestly.

Um...Maybe not.

I should make a public apology, so consider this post an apology.

Feel free gentle reader, to be angry with me for being so cryptic.

I look at what I have typed out so far, and I wonder why I seem to dislike paragraphs. I think it is because my posts are a series of disconnected observations with no single unifying theme. The world is a funny place. The world is a sad place. So, at the risk of sounding pompous, this is a funny (I hope) blog, this is a sad(sad as in melancholy, not sad as in badly written) blog.

Chilli described his journey to IIMB from Basaveshwarnagar, (for those not in the know, home for eight years before I left ) so I shall describe my oddessy as I go to the IST building on campus. I leave my apartment and take a left to go to the elevator. I then push the button to get the elevator to my floor. I then get into the elevator and push the button to get to the first floor (It’s the ground floor actually). I then take a right, and another quick right and then a diagonal-ish left to leave the building. I then walk past A building and get into the bus. This involves a right somewhere along the way. I then sleep until we hit IST. And then…

I shall take pity on you, gentle reader, and end this orgy of mind-numbing boredom.

Friday, July 23, 2004

Our intrepid hero (that's me) aced the driving test. I now have a license. Head for the hills all ye jay-walking pedestrians, because I will run over you with extreme alacrity and unseemly enthusiasm. That's only if I have a red car. The blood stains show up otherwise.

Another important point. Since I feel the need to be obscure and annoying, I will not tell you, gentle reader, what the point is. Suffice to say that I have decided to rectify matters. I will be referring to tutorials and making notes and if I feel like it, inspirational PowerPoint slides.

PowerPoint slides with crappy fonts and animations that go whoosh.

Did I mention that I got my drivers license? With a perfect score.

I did mention it?

Well my blog, my rules, my post.

On the subject of my rules, new blog rules.
a) While reading my blog, you my gentle reader will have to touch your nose with your left hand three times.
b) While reading my blog, you my gentle reader will have to accept that I am funny even if I am not.
c) While reading my blog, you my gentle reader will have to accept that being normal is usually being boring.
d) While reading my blog, you my gentle reader will have to accept that F1 sucks.

Rules a through c are negotiable. Rule d is not.

Actually on second thoughts, neither are rules a through c.

I ramble on and on. I like that. Others might not. But as previously noted, my blog my rules.

Monday, July 19, 2004

This will be a mild rant. I may however descend into obscenities and foul language. Proceed with care.

"I, Robot", the book is excellent. A wonderful collection of short stories. A collection of stories with substance, with style, where the robots deal with the conflicts of the three laws and where Susan Calvin is the strong, intelligent woman who became one of Asimov's favorite characters.

"I, Robot", the movie sucks ass. Big time.

End of rant.

Not a very impressive rant I agree, but thats all I have the energy for.

Remember, gentle reader, I told you that I would be all alone in the apartment, and that I would enjoy that. Well, I am all alone in the apartment now, and I find that I do not enjoy it as much as I thought I would. Strange is it not?

An apology.

For the misleading title in my previous post. I did mean to compare glasses and contacts. Got a tad diverted and never got around to comparing the two. And I dont feel like doing it now. So my thoughts on that particular topic will remain an eternal mystery.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

I have lost control of the blog. At least the blog titles. People snatch the keyboard from me and put in ellipsis(For the more inquisitive among you ellipsis are ...). Yes gentle reader, I am pretty anal.

This is the first time I have blogged with an active and participative audience. I refer to the boos from the rear stalls. Or do I refer to the booze from the rear stalls?

No I am not drunk.

I am quite sure.

Notice I do not ramble on and on.

I am supposed to blog for someone else. I will be a ghost blogger. I will dress up in a white sheet and blog all over the place.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Lets get this out of the way. Yes, I do spend way too much time in this corner of the blogverse. Move on will you?

I just noticed the advertisement at the top of this page. It has links to Carpal Tunnel Syndrome stuff and to Tad Williams. And I had mentioned the former and referred to another author in case of the latter.(Analyze the grammar in that previous sentence gentle reader, and tell me if it is as clunky as I think it is.)

That is scary. Considering that I have mentioned the word "fuck", masturbation and F1. Freaky combination. I will refrain from typing what I just thought of. Suffice to say that it involved a prominent German driver using a driving control in an immoral way.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

A small point to remember, when I observe the foot approaching the mouth I should endeavor to get the mouth out off the way. It is widely accepted that shoving a foot down a mouth is a bad idea.

Drove Sourav's car today. I'm having problems with turning. Took a corner near the mall on two wheels and I'm pretty sure a nice old lady flipped me the bird. I will try to avoid stepping on the gas while I am turning.

Sourav thinks a Thursday deadline is extremely optimistic.
I agree.

I need a good book. I do wish that GRRM would get off his ass and finish "A Feast of Crows" before I graduate.

Farscape is returning. Just a miniseries but that is better than nothing.

To Bandar and the Bhide, I hope you were pleased at the data transmission, the information exchange. And Bandar, do try to come up with a better compliment than your usual "Asian Paints" statement.

I have rambled on again. I intended to talk about the drive and leave, but I like it here. So I'll stay for a bit longer. Bear with me gentle reader.

Chatted with my apartment-mates-to-be. I look forward to keeping my door closed for most of the next semester. My own room. After a year and a half of sharing a room, I'm getting my own room. I think I shall do a little jig. Also I think I can get the kiddies to help me clean the apartment, when moving out time comes around.

Raghu leaves for India tomorrow. I am so jealous. Nitin leaves on the thirteenth. That's the definite date. Just like the second was definite. And the ninth.
I think my current bout of homesickness is because they are going to India.

I need to leave State College again. I need to leave State College now.
I need to get to Norfolk. (I have that really depraved grin on my face right now).

Well it's official. The entire Smith research group has been crippled. Brian, Meltem and I all have fucked up fingers. Too much typing. But at least it is tendonitis and not Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Or as Brian put it, "hand syphilis and not hand herpes".

Um...The analogy is that the former is curable, the latter is not.

On a bright note. The first draft of the book review is done. I gotta rewrite it with changes now.

The phone is still in my shopping cart. I just need to click the buy button.

I just noticed that quite a few sentences in this post start with the words "I need". Um...a comedic gem would typically follow that sentence, but I think I will let it go this time.

Good news. Played three excellent UT2004 games today. Won thrice in a row. With a spread of 4, 5 and 4. And I got a "Monster Kill"! A "Monster Kill" people! I have only ever got that against the bots. And managed two adrenaline rushes in each game.

Um...my geek quotient went up by a factor of three. No. Three point five.

The summer is flying by. I just realized that in a best-case scenario, I have only six months left in State College. I do not want to think about the worst-case scenario. I want to move to a big city. A place with crime, noise and pollution.

I'm watching Coupling on the Beeb. Apparently the Brits have no problem saying fuck on their sitcoms.

I begin to bore myself. I leave.
Exit stage right, trying not to trip over the cat.

I do not normally get tipsy with a drink and a half. However, having just an hour of sleep in the last twenty four hours affected me strangely. And so I was tipsy. I wish to reiterate for the record that my capacity is not as pathetic as it seems. For the record it is two drinks and five shots. Well, that's as far as I have gone. It's quite possible that I havent found my boundaries yet.

I doubt that I will ever overreact to such an extent again that I will need to find my boundaries.

Um...I hope my parents do not read my blog.

Have finally shifted to contacts. Reasonably happy with this pair. Now if only my hair would grow back, recover from the disasterous Supercuts misadventure. Wearing a cap everyday is getting to be painful.

I woke up at 1 pm. In bed, not the bathtub.That story some other time. Anyway, I had changed my T-shirt before hitting the sack and I have no recollection of this event. Holes in my memory aren't good.

A lot of photographs were taken tonight.I should probably elaborate on that sentence because it sounds positively pornographic. But I won't. I will leave it to your mind, gentle reader, to twist it as you may see fit.

I'm sleepy.

I will be the only person left in the apartment in a few days. Cannot wait for it. Blessed solitude.

Friday, July 09, 2004

I tried to buy my cell phone, but was not allowed to. Apparently you need a driver's licence to get a phone. That is because we drive the phones on the roads here. They are an energy efficient method of transportation.

Introspection.
Do I try to maintain an emotional distance from people? Unfortunately I think I do. I have always been an intensely private person, and that has increased in the year and a half I have been in this country.

To Kaushik, thank me for the entertainment. And anytime you want me to wax lyrical, I will be more than happy to oblige.

For some reason, I miss Bangalore more than usual this morning. Mathru and Vishnu, Shanti Sagar and Amoeba(was that the place?), Kebab corner, MG and Brigade Road, Madiwala Circle and Koramangala, Aangan and strangely enough TGIF.

I'm getting older. Not wiser. Just older. At the ripe old age of 25, I look back and I see a large moving object bearing down on me. (Yeah right! Like I'm going to open up now)

According to the plan, I'll get my license on Thursday, but I am not holding my breath. But driving is fun. Freedom. Freedom. Freedom.

A belated tribute to the Godfather,
"Don Corleone: I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

I have a weakness for petite brunettes. I do not know why that is so, but that is the way it is. And you gentle reader, should know who I am referring to.

Notice the tight structure and the coherent thematic thread in this Blog.

This is the Weekend of the Central PA Festival of the Arts. Should be good fun. And should get to see Cold Mountain.

"Afternoon Delight" from the "Anchorman" is hilarious.

I am beginning to dislike my breakfast cereal. Apparently a year and a half is the limit of my tolerance. Unfortunately I still have a couple of boxes left. I may feed it to the pigeons in the balcony. They are hardy creatures, they will survive. They might survive. Ah well, the world has too many pigeons anyway.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Back to the fireworks. A very decent show. Except that it rained and rained and rained. And then for variety it rained some more.

Now to the unemployed one's theory(Chilli is the unemployed one). I have a small addendum to the theory. Why is it that the theory seems as pointless at 10:15 as it does at 10:30? In fact, why is it that the theory seems pointless, pretty much around the clock?
Ah, lifes great mysteries.

However do join Chilli's "F1 Sucks" orkut group. My email dissing F1 is available on request. Inder's blog advises everyone who watches F1 to take up something more productive. Like masturbation.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

So, after that completly pointless series of statements, I shall begin tonight's show.

I have been thinking about the Manifesto and I have come to the sad conclusion that it is not practical. That isn't going to stop me from trying though. (The East German judge awards me 9.5 for stubborness at this point.)

I'm known to be hot tempered. I think I have mellowed down a lot over the past few years, but unfortunately I have exploded a couple of times over the last couple of years. And to the victim of my last explosion, and you know who you are, I apologize.

Onward and upward.

Secret window wasn't a half bad movie at all. I enjoyed it far more than i did the book version. And I'm not quite sure but i think that the ending has been changed.

Kanyon Pizza has been added to the list of places not to eat at, in State College. I object to their habit of serving up pizza that is burnt to a crisp and is as tasteless as cardboard.

Burnt Cardboard.

Clarification. I really do not know what burnt cardboard tastes like. I'm assuming that it tastes like Kanyon Pizza's pizza.