wifely duties

As married women, we have our opinions of marriage. We’ve seen movies, read stories, and talked to people that all influence our thoughts and opinions of marriage. We all want to be successful in our marriage, but it’s important that we take time to get in the word of God on marriage. For that reason, we are going to take the time to look at some scriptures on marriage.

Please know that I will not be going through all of the Scriptures on marriage, but we will be looking at quite a bit of them.

My Hope for You

It is my hope that you will find encouragement for your marriage journey, by knowing that marriage is good; you will come to understand the obligation of marriage, and find clarity in what God expects from you as a godly wife.

Why Get in the Word of God on Marriage

As you may know, I’ve been married for over 15 years now. When my husband and I first got married, I had no idea what marriage was supposed to look like, let alone, what it meant to be in a godly marriage, as a godly woman and wife. I had a very worldly mindset about our relationship.

I was a believer in both marriage and divorce. I was confused. I was afraid of being cheated on, beaten, abused, stepped on and walked over, as a doormat. My fear of being hurt and rejected left little room for love, trust, and approval. Still, I desperately wanted my marriage to work.

It wasn’t until I committed to learning what God had to say on the matter and allowing that to change my mind, that my marriage was transformed.

An invitation to renew your mind and transform your marriage

I invite you to take the same stance, as we head through these Scriptures on marriage.

Commit to learning or refreshing your memory, on what God has to say about the matter. Also determine within yourself that you will allow the word of God to change your mind, if your mindset is contrary to the word of God.

Finally, determine that you will do what the word of God says.

James 1:22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

What does the Word of God Say?

Marriage is a good thing

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Proverbs 18:22He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.

1 Timothy 3:12 Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

In the Bible, marriage is seen as a good thing. It is honorable. It is a sign of favor from the Lord and an honor of leadership to men. The marriage bed is a place of pleasure and a blessing from the Lord. It was also encouraged for young women to get married.

The solemn obligation of marriage

The Bible tells us about the solemn obligation of marriage. According to Macmillan Dictionary in legal matters, this phrase is used “about things such as promises that express serious intentions.” An example of this is “Congress has a solemn obligation to vote on any commitment of US troops.”(Macmillan Dictionary)

When we look at the solemn obligation of marriage, we must understand what the word of God is saying about the legality of the promises made in marriage and what it hold us bound to do. In short, the bible tells us the above all there is one thing that we are supposed to do in marriage, remain as one. There are other things, but this is one of the top priorities.

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Romans 7:2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

Let’s look at at a Biblical situation that is similar to what is mentioned in a few of the scriptures above.

When the giant, Goliath, was terrorizing the Hebrews and no man would go up against him, Saul declared that whoever defeated him would marry his daughter, Merab. After killing Goliath, Merab was offered to David, but he felt unworthy of becoming the king’s son-in-law. However, Saul’s other daughter Michal, loved David. Saul thought that she would bring David trouble, so he had David convinced to marry her. Later, Saul sent men to kill David, but Michal helped him escape through a window. In 1 Samuel 25:44, Michal was taken from David and given to a man named Palatial. However, after Saul’s death, David demanded to have his wife back. It was the only way that he would agree to be the king of Judah. (2 Samuel 3:13-16) In verse 16, her current husband had to return her and “went alone with her to Bahurim, weeping behind her.” After he returned her, he was sent back on his way.

Regardless of what you think of marriage or what your opinion is, it is important that you subject your thoughts to the word of God. By reading these scriptures, we see that God expects us to honor our promise to remain one in marriage. We are not expected to divorce or separate.

Duty of Godly Wives

While there are many different elements that make up the duties of godly wives, below are the ones that directly stand out regarding the woman’s role in her home and marriage. (We can examine others at another time.)

Esther 1:20 And when the king’s decree which he shall make shall be published throughout all his empire, (for it is great,) all the wives shall give to their husbands honour, both to great and small.

Proverbs 31:27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

1 Corinthians 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

1 Timothy 3:11 Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.

1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

In these scriptures we see that God desires that a woman honors her husband, regardless of his stature. She is to take care of her household and not to be lazy and idle. She should not leave her husband. She is expected submit to him, as she would the Lord. She is to have characteristics that are reverent and honorable, so that if a man (her husband) needs to be turned to God, his wife would be the one to do it, respectfully and humbly.

I don’t know if you can see it, but we as wives are to be intercessors for our husbands and respectful in character, so that we are vessels of honor before the Lord. Please don’t take any of this to mean that we are to be treated wrong or disrespected. God has answers for all of our troubles, but we have to start somewhere.

We cannot read the whole Bible at one time.

For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little: ~Isaiah 28:10

We must take in the information little by little.

Overall

There are many things that can be and are said about marriage. Most of the time, we hear what the world has to say. It is all fluff and feeling. What I have learned over the years is that marriage isn’t always about how you feel. Love is an action word. When my husband and I took action and got married, we vowed before God that we would remain together and be there for one another until we died.

Some people may not wholeheartedly believe these vows to be true because of the culture, but if they are like I was, a lover of God, then their minds must change. I had to change my mind, commitment level, and own up to my responsibility. No, I cannot change my husband. It took a long time to learn that, but God has a plan for my husband and I’m apart of it. He is also a part of my becoming.

Today we are better because we have remained together and God is with us. This is where the transformation takes place. It starts in the mind and heart of an individual and then seeps into the marriage because you are in it. If you allow the word and God to change you, your marriage will transform, as well.

My husband said something to another family member that blew me away. I had felt it, but wasn’t able to articulate it. Once he said it, I knew that it was true and what I had been thinking all along. He said that “we are family and we have a responsibility to one another.”

This is the sum of it all. Marriage can be many things, but one that it definitely is, needs to be recognized. It is a blessed responsibility to be and become, never be alone, and discover God’s will and love you and your husband.

I challenge you to read over these scriptures, ask God to help you accept His will, His word, and, if necessary, your husband.

If you would like to be added to my prayer list for marriage, please send me an email or submit a comment below. You can email me at makeda@beingmrsmom.com

I hope and pray that you found these scriptures beneficial and that your marriage would be blessed, in the Lord.

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