Back to the Woods eBook

“Evenin’ all!” bowed Harmony Diggs,
clinging tightly to a bundle which he held under his
arm.

“Find that robber yet?” inquired Bunch,
winking at me.

“That’s just what I dropped around for
to tell you, thinkin’ maybe you’d be kinder
interested in knowin’ the facts in the case,”
Harmony went on, carefully placing the precious bundle
on the steps.

“I got a clue from this here gent,” he
said, pointing a bony finger at Bunch, “and
I ups and chases that there maleyfactor for four miles,
well knowin’ that the cause of justice would
suffer and the reward of fifty dollars be nil and
voidless if the critter got away. But I got
him, by crickey, I got him!”

He looked from one to the other, seeking a sign of
applause, and Bunch said, “Where did you catch
him?”

“About four miles yonder,” Diggs explained,
indefinitely. “It was a fierce fight while
it lasted, but they ain’t no maleyfactor livin’
can escape the clutches of these here hands oncet they
entwines him. I pulled the dem cuss out of his
clothes!”

With this thrilling announcement he opened the bundle
and proudly displayed the burglar harness which Bunch
had worn on that memorable night.

“And the burglar himself?” Bunch questioned.

Diggs raised his head slowly, and with theatrical
effect answered, “I give the cussed scoun’rel
the doggonest drubbin’ a mortal maleyfactor
ever got and let him go. That was nearly two
weeks ago, and he ain’t showed up since, dag
him!”

“You win, Mr. Ananias!” said Bunch, handing
Diggs a ten dollar bill, as he whispered to me, “That
story is worth the money.”

“What’s that for?” inquired Diggs,
somewhat taken aback.

“That’s my contribution to the reward
for the robber,” Bunch told him.

“Well,” spluttered Diggs; “it don’t
seem zactly right, seein’ as how I on’y
pulled the cuss out of his clothes and then let him
go with a lambastin’.”

“The ten-spot is for the clothes you pulled
him out of,” Bunch said, picking up the garments
and handing them to me. “Keep them, John,
as a souvenir of your first burglar—­and
true friend, Bunch!”

I took them reverently, and said, “For your
sake, Bunch, they’ll be handed down from generation
to generation.”

Clara J. blushed and said, “Oh, John!”
and I thought Uncle Peter would chuckle himself into
a delirium.

“Good-night, Mr. Ananias!” Bunch called,
as Diggs made a farewell bow and turned to go.

“Good-night, one and all,” replied Diggs,
then a thought struck him and he turned with, “Say,
who’s this here Mr. Annienias? Seems like
the name’s familiar, but it ain’t mine.”

“Mr. Ananias is the first detective mentioned
in history,” Bunch explained, and Mr. Diggs
beamed over us all.

“Wait a moment, Mr. Officer,” Aunt Martha
piped in; “have a drop of refreshment before
you go. Tacks, run in and pour Mr. Officer a
drink from that bottle on the sideboard!”