Journalists' Wives single remains unbought

A HEART-BREAKING song by the wives of Britain’s journalists remains resolutely unbought, it has been confirmed.

Paul Dacre conducts the choir by calling them a bunch of c*nts

Whoever You’re Violating, by the Journalists’ Wives Choir now seems certain not to be the Christmas number one.

Anne Logan, whose husband Tom served in some bins with the News of the World and the Daily Star, said: “At this time of year it’s important to remember all those who have failed to serve their country in any way whatsoever.

“Those amazing people who go out of their way to act all important and then demand our gratitude.

“But it’s not just about the disgusting frontline tabloid hacks, it’s about the ones who often get overlooked by the big inquiries – the brave, smug hypocrites on the Guardian or the Daily Telegraph’s little platoons of crazed, incontinent fantasists.

“It’s about the feature writer who courageously puts their byline on a press release, or the sports editor who still goes to work every day genuinely believing that his job is not pathetically unimportant.

“They are all out there, deliberately misleading their country with a selflessness that’s barely reflected in their massive salaries.”

Any money raised from the single will go towards paying a private detective to plant a hidden camera at the top of Pippa Middleton’s left thigh.