Ah, Tuesday, time to answer some questions. I was not sure what today’s topic should be, so I gave the questionees free reign over what topic they wanted to see some answers about. Oddly enough, most people brought questions about the impending candy night. (some of these questions will be fielded next week). The kids are excited for this. Little Man is going to be War Machine and Q is dressing up as a ninja. Both of the kids are READY.

1. Yesterday I hooked one of my vocal mic’s up to an amp I have in the living room and was letting my five year old run around singing. Eventually he stopped singing and became a roving reporter and he fielded me this question, which I pass on to you. What is your favorite: Milk or Santa Claus?

The problem is that it is a corrupt system, and regardless of who gets put in place, the system will corrupt without major changes, and those needed major changes are in direct opposition to the interests of the people who would need to make the change.

3. Favorite comedian

3 way tie, Greg Behrendt, Jimmy Pardo, and Greg Proops

4. Favorite Facebook cat picture

Don’t have one.

5. I saw Little Man at the school costume parade, I asked him if he was Iron Man and he explained that no, he was War Machine, a guy that stole Iron Mans suit.Why did Iron Man let this guy keep his suit (by this guy, I mean War Machine, not Little Man)?

Well… it is a bit convoluted. The arc-reactor Tony Stark had in his chest to keep the shrapnel from killing him also was slowly poisoning his body. So the very thing keeping Iron Man alive is, in actuality, killing him slowly. So, while he is slowly dying he “let’s” Rhodey “steal’ the armor and weaponize it with the US Air Force. Wait… why are you walking away from me… come back!

6. Why do you think people are going to follow your instructions for 20 question topics?

I don’t think they will. I hope people do, but I have no illusions that they will.

7. Where does Halloween rank on the Holiday scale for you?

Hmmm… 1 being Christmas and 10 being arbor day? Let’s say Halloween is a 4.

8. How long are you guys going Trick or Treating?

Probably about an hour or so.

9. Heard about the coyote attack on the fawn in the hood? Seriously, a pack of Coyotes are feeding off deer babies? Think the City needs to do something about both animal populations?

A get rid of the prey and you get rid of the predator, kind of thing? I would miss the deer in the back yard.

10. Should politicians wear crazy socks?

Over their heads? Yes.

11. Favorite Halloween decoration?

Any kind of glow-stick thing. Love that stuff..

Topic: All over the place:

12. Have you ever wanted two from column a and one from column b?

All the time. All the time.

13. When faced with a tough choice, isn’t asking what Jesus would do wrong? After all, the Deity has advantages. Same problem with Chuck Norris.

I find the whole WWJD phenomenon was bizarre because people selectively used it, but you are right, when “Walk on water” is in the bevy of choices, maybe you are asking the wrong question.

14. In the Last Crusade, would everyone have died if they chose poorly?

Yup.

15. Does anyone ever take the Pepsi Challenge in real life?

I heard from someone who actually took the Pepsi challenge that it is incredibly rigged. The Coke was warm and flat and the Pepsi was ice cold and frothy. that being said, I still like Pepsi better.

Topic: Piniatas:

16. Do you think that the victorious feeling of vanquishing the papier mache foe trumps the sinking feeling of realizing that when you finally get that damn blind fold off all the candy will be gone.

I have very little experience with pinatas… You seem to be talking from experience… bitter bitter experience. I always thought the sweet spot would be the person who mortally wounds the pinata so the next batter can open it for you..

17. Is there anything more amazing than the Jedi like ability of small children to zero in on the wrong target and smack some other small child.

It is the complete swing and miss of the pinata and then contact with the second kid standing behind the batter that is hilarious.

18. Is there anything more hilarious?…provided no one loses an eye.

Hilarious!

19. As the father of two, how come you have not hosted a child’s party where there was a piñata activity AND provided a helmet with a blast shield and toy lightsaber instead of the traditional blindfold and stick?

Because I never thought of it. Would the pinata need to be a Sith Lord? and what happens with the girl pledges loyalty to her Dark Master and starts hitting the other kids? What happens then?

20. Will you film this for me when you do it?

Sure thing.

To recap:

I am exhausted

This school stuff is killing my “free” time

And I am not sleeping enough

Wife just home from a weekend of work

It was a rough weekend of work stuff punctuated by some junior high level interactions towards her

I am this |—-| close to activating a secret army of minions to enact something terrible

He look |-o-| a tie-fighter

pew pew pew

I have more questions, but I will table them until next week

By the way, have a great weekend everyone, and those of you partaking of All Hallow’s Eve, please be safe whilst enjoying yourself