‘Battlestar:’ One-eyed drunks and ‘the Apollo Way’

For all of you non-BSG watchers, the ads do not exaggerate — you are missing one of the best shows on TV. I can tell the episodes are getting better and better just by the increasing quantities of notes I take for these entries. I cut out some stuff just to get it to this length. More fabulous exchanges of dialog, but I’ll get to that shortly.

First off: all those machines on that base star, and none of them can make Baltar a bed? … and who but Gaeta could deliver this line as if he was beginning the first chapter of a retrospective on “Living with Baltar,”: “If there’s one thing I learned about Baltar, it was his extraordinary capacity for self-preservation.”

I was surprised to see Apollo back in his Viper — he fits? My question was answered a few scenes later by the gratuitous towel scene (thank the Gods!). Is a new fad diet going to take Galactica by storm: “Do it the Apollo Way!”? I think the scale said “20″ during the weigh-in scene, but 20 of what I don’t know. We were then treated to this funny exchange between Apollo and Helo:

“Remind me never to let that happen again.” — Apollo

“You got it, Slim.” — Helo

“… Ever.” — Apollo (let me put a major “Ditto” on that one, Buddy)

Mrs. Agathon received her new call sign. I thought “Athena” was a bit of a kiss-up, but I guess “Number 8″ wouldn’t work (too many of those) and “Boomer” just brings up too many bad memories.

A base star gets a virus, and Baltar (in self-preservation mode, again!) volunteers to investigate. How convenient that they have a Raptor around for him to use! I thought it was interesting they brought up the Cylon models we haven’t seen yet … hmmm, is anyone we know actually a Cylon? And how ’bout that Hybrid? How creepy was she? Jump!

And now, what you’ve been waiting for, the best part of the entire show — Adama vs. Starbuck and Tigh (both drunk and obnoxious) — I give you an excerpt. It’s long, but worth it. SCENE!

[Having kicked Starbuck out of her chair] “You were like a daughter to me once. No more. You’re a malcontent and a cancer and I won’t have you on my ship. . . .You figure out how to become a human being again and an officer or you can find another place to live off this ship. You’re dismissed.” — Adama [Starbuck sulks off]

“Are you going to kick me out of my chair, too?” — Tigh

“Listen, I know you’ve been through a. . .” — Adama

“[cuts him off] Don’t patronize me. Say what you came here to say.” — Tigh

“You’re full of bile, hatred, and I know it has something to do with Ellen. And I’m sorry for that, and if you need time, Saul, well, you take all the time you want, but I gotta run a ship. The last thing I need is a one-eyed drunk sitting down here, sowing discontent and disobedience. So, I’ll tell you once again, Saul, you can pick up that weapon and kill me or you can get your ass back into your quarters and not leave until you’re ready to act like the man that I’ve known for the last 30 years.” — Adama [as I've said before, Olmos gets the best lines]