Nearly two months have passed since our last installment of the Android Police Files, so I'm not going to spend much time on the introduction this time around. You already know what you're in for. Below are eight emails that several people out there mistakenly thought contained either legitimate questions or useful information of some kind. Unfortunately, grammar or common sense (but usually grammar) got in the way. Anyway, you've been more than patient, so without further ado, I present to you our sixth installment.

Letter #1

Subject: (no subject)

Text:

Hai bro i want to ask you a question may i

want to know which 3D games would run on my android phone it has 204 mb ram and 1Ghz processer

Bro, are you aware that requesting my permission to ask a question is, in itself, asking a question? You should first ask for my permission to ask for my permission to ask a question.

Anyway, since you didn't actually wait for my permission, I'll just answer your second question:

None.

Letter #2

Subject: I know u will !

Text:

Good day Android police can u do somthing for me ?Can u send me a free android phone like HTC Wildfire S its nothing for you ... i wana to get a new phone but i dont have a money ! IF you do that for me i will be very happy i dont need some machine like galaxy ... i just need low specs android please dont ignore me if u do that i will give u a gift ! BYE.

The anticipation of what this gift could be is killing us.

Letter #3

Subject: Tell me How can dwonloding Rooting

Text: (no text)

Letter #4

Subject: tablet

Text:

To whom it may concern

I bought a hisense sero 7 pro from walmart right after thanksgiving the tablet has worked great

until yesterday was charging the tablet and it stopped working won't even turn on. When I bought the tablet I didn't have enough money for insurance. so I am writing to see what you can do for me in replacing the tablet. I will even send this one back if needed. Hope to hear from you soon.

Thank You

When did "To whom it may concern" become an acceptable greeting? It sounds so stiff and lifeless, a lot like that tablet that, sorry, we can't help you with.

Letter #8

That's All Folks!

We hope these letters have put a smile on your face. If for whatever reason they haven't, feel free to hit up our contact page and complain away. There's a decent chance we'll copy and paste your vitriol in a future installment of the Android Police Files. Don't worry, we won't tell anyone who you are. That isn't our style. Usually, anyway.