The email that appeared Wednesday morning is the kind for which the Internet apparently was
fabricated.

Curiously in conflict with the Mayan calendar, the message said December 2012 will contain five
Saturdays, five Sundays and five Mondays, a happenstance that is said to occur every 824 years. The
far-sighted Chinese, though operating eight-plus centuries ago with a calendar that didn’t include
December, is said to have had a name for the approaching anomaly, which they called The Money
Bag.

Legend instructs that sending the news about The Money Bag to friend and foe will result four
days later in an infusion of cash to the sender. The teachings of Feng Shui suggest that those who
deign not to pass on the message will remain poor and possibly hungry.

And there you have it, as reliable and easy a path to riches as practicing the Law of Attraction
or waving a televangelist’s prayer cloth at the sky. Naysayers, by the way, will be directed
without delay to the nearest fiscal cliff.

Having gone public with this vital information today, your sender is anticipating a special
Thanksgiving, indeed, which falls four days hence. For some people living outside the edge of
sprawl, on the other hand, a holiday morning bunny walk consisting of beating the bush in the
company of the near and dear while holding a shotgun outclasses any number of champagne wishes
and/or caviar dreams.

That granted, the magical wad will appear just in time for Black Friday, which is probably
something the Chinese had in mind for at least the past 824 years. Emails related to fine stuff,
much of it made in China, marketed as potential Christmas gifts to or for sportsmen and outdoors
enthusiasts have been piling up at in-boxes since August.

Here is a sampling of ideas for deflating your Money Bag on the way to the fourth Tuesday of
December, aka Christmas 2012, should the Mayans have gotten it wrong:

• Probably wouldn’t draw much interest in August north of the equator, but Thermacell Heated
Insoles might have a brief future during cooler months north and south before global warming puts
groves of palm trees at Put-In-Bay, replacing the plastic ones. Wireless, remote-controlled and
powered by rechargeable, built-in, lithium-ion polymer batteries that heat for five hours.
Suggested retail cost is $129.99. And all Eskimos ever had to show for centuries of numb toes were
sealskin mukluks.

•
Bassmaster magazine’s list of must-haves for the 2012 holiday season includes at least one
copy of the Living Lures Pro Wake, which looks not unlike a lot of crankbaits but is an offspring
of “the unlikely marriage of technology and lure craft.” Yeah, yeah, more and more offspring are
delivered without any kind of marriage, but this baby has “glowing eyes” and makes a “
water-activated croaking noise.” In short, the lure has all the “bells and whistles you didn’t know
you needed.” Not guaranteed to catch fish, but who knows? There are worse ways to spend $15.

• A knife sharpener is almost always a good holiday fit for hunters, anglers, trappers and
pirates. The “mission-ready” Diamond Hone Manual Knife Sharpener M442, “designed to accommodate the
wider geometry of many tactical knives,” creates a “razor-sharp edge that is stronger and more
durable.” How a sharpener that is “fast, safe and easy to use in any multi-mission tactical role”
can keep a blade edge “stronger and more durable” isn’t fully explained. Yet, almost any tool “
styled in easily camouflaged hunter green and black” recommends itself at $29.99.

• Ever forced to hold a 1-pound flashlight between clenched teeth while using both hands to
field-dress a deer taken on the cusp of sunset? Sure, a tactical blade honed to razor’s edge by a
camouflage-ready sharpener speeds the slicing, but teeth tend to get dull and chipped while
functioning as a clamp on metal. Made especially for the multitasker in the habit of using his or
her “mouth as a third hand,” TerraLUX delivers the 80-lumen LED flashlight called the LightStar 80.
Featured on the lightweight, airplane-grade aluminum body is a rubber BiteGrip that promises to
reduce tooth wear. At $29.99, it’s cheaper than orthodontics.

• Cool for ice fishermen, marsh trappers, hunters and for anyone fleeing a crime scene on a
winter’s night is Yaktrax, which apparently can do for shoes and boots what snow chains used to do
for vehicle tires: provide solid traction once strapped on. Made of steel coils and nylon, the
makers say the grips can prevent falls. Needless to say, Yaktrax will not prevent falls that result
from spirits imbibed inside an ice shanty while keeping out a chill. Models start at $20.

The list above, but a tiny sample of holiday products the emails trumpet, suggests that
Confucius earned designation as
the Chinese savant when he cautioned, “He who will not economize will have to agonize.”&
amp; amp; lt; /p>

A thousand thanks and a Merry Christmas shout-out to Mr. Al Gore, a pioneer of the information
highway, for gifting all with vital sales pitches and a vast array of fact-based lore.