The Value of Appropriate Connection

At OlaBrisa, we see adding more "connection" to our lives as the equivalent of having a piece of great tasting chocolate along with our freshly brewed coffee -- the combination, if done right, is much better than either chocolate or coffee on its own.

With individuality and connection, like with coffee and chocolate, you can overdose; the challenge is to get the right balance.

This "right" balance is different for all of us, and changes depending on our situation and our phase of life.

OlaBrisa is based on the idea that as we move into P4 living, what we need in order to achieve this "right" balance is a bit more "appropriate" connection.

OlaBrisa's Approach to Enabling Appropriate ConnectionThe P4s who are members of OlaBrisa understand that as humans, we are a complicated mix of two impulses -- the impulse for individual development and expression, and the impulse for small group connection.

As P4s who are well educated North Americans / Europeans, we have typically excelled at our individual development and expression, often at the expense of our ability to experience group connection and support.

This is for a number of reasons.

In the first case, most elements of our "modern" lives, from the design of our subdivisions, apartment buildings and our individual houses to the design of our work places, encourage separation, not connection.

Given the dominance of Phase 3 living, most people we interact with are focused around their own individual lives, and in this mode of living, long term connection often falls by the wayside.

Since we are not good "true believers", we are skittish about giving up our individuality and becoming subject to expectations from any group.

The result of this is often a life trending more and more out of balance.

The question is how to do address this in a reasonable, long term way.

OlaBrisa's approach starts with the understanding that at this time and stage of our life, as P4s, we know pretty much who we are, and are acting on this knowledge. [1]

OlaBrisa members are ok with giving themselves permission to have a good life. Most of us have worked hard, have been responsible, and have deferred gratification in order to achieve a reasonable level of financial independence.

OlaBrisa members also recognize the value of adding more genuine conversation and connection to our lives.

We understand that if we are serious about doing this, we need to make it a priority and to embed good ways of achieving more genuine conversation and connection into the routine of our lives.

The easiest, most effective way to do this is to organize around a physical place, a place that we commit to return to year after year, a place where we have made an upfront financial commitment to be a part of, a place where we look forward to gathering each year with the same people -- establishing a long term connection that we all can count on. [2]

In this, as in many other aspects of life, what you get out is highly related to what you put in.

At one level, it really is this simple.

OlaBrisa is based on this understanding -- and relies on this level of commitment.

[1] As P4s, most of us have gone through (repeated) efforts to "discover our true self", to have new peak experiences, and to escape the constraints of a restrictive job, family, spouse, and/or religion. From our own experience, we understand how important this work is. It is not, however, where we are now and this is not what OlaBrisa is about.

If you are working to find yourself or are still in reaction to your P3 life, you may not find OlaBrisa a good fit at this point in your life, since OlaBrisa is organized and operates on the assumption that its members have done this work and have come to at least an interim resolution of who they are and what they care about.

[2] OlaBrisa takes a low key, small step approach to increasing genuine connection. Its goal is modest -- to enhance our life, not to restructure it. In our view, any increase in real connection is a boost to our lives, and we are happy with that -- and not upset if it isn't perfect.

OlaBrisa starts with people we already know and like -- our long term friends -- and builds out from there to add people who are at the same stage of life (Phase 4), who have similar backgrounds and approaches (starters) as we do, and who furthermore share a love of Baja Sur -- enabling us to spend three weeks each year together with people we like and respect in a place that calls to us.

Long term connections are built on shared experience, particularly the shared experience of working together on projects we care about and believe in. OlaBrisa understands this, and facilitates it happening.

We appreciate that if none of this works perfectly, the worst that happens is that we have organized our lives to spend three weeks a year in one of our favorite places on earth.