This looks very much like a normal moustache - but beware - for it is also deadly! Beneath the simulated hairs is a metal throwing knife with sharpened edges that could slice your ears off - just like that! Mounted carefully on the upper lips of gentlemen terrorists they can be armed and ready for
tossing in your general direction at a moments notice!

Replace your moustache with a savage mouse, that lies
dormant across your upper lip, ready to leap unto the
face of any opponent, who makes the mistake of
venturing too close. Like the belly, facial hair affords
much potential opportunity for dubious wit and wisdom.
+

I hoped to god that I would never hear or see the word "merkin" after the incident two years ago. But I come here, and it all just comes flooding back...the same cold pain, the same stabbing fear... oh god... why are merkins so gross?

Okay, but I'm going to take 4 hours to tell it, just like "Max Payne."

I can always feel my memory like a black whole inide my chest, constantly drawing in, never letting me forget the pain that feels like an ice pick slowly making its way into my spine... I wish you were back, I wish I could feel you breathing, but that merkin stole you from me. Wishes. One by one, wishes just add more darkness to that black hole.