Houston pastor Rick Scarborough has promised to set himself on fire should the Supreme Court rule in favour of gay marriage!

Speaking at a “National Emergency Coalition” conference call with fellow Christian fundamentalist E.W. Jackson — how did we miss that? — Scarborough intoned: “We are not going to bow. We are not going to bend, and if necessary, we will burn.”

Talking like a strung-out agoraphobe who just finished a Walking Dead marathon, the 65-year-old blathered: “The preachers need to get out front, the leaders need to get out front, out front of these ordinary citizens and say, ‘Shoot me first.’”

Wow! BONUS round! She’s so creative! Not only will we be able to marry, but the world will be rid of one less (crispy) zealot! What a hot idea.

Searching for visual projections for your next holiday family gathering? For your next seedy warehouse rave? Either way — look no further, because the cutestsecond cutest cat on the planet, Lil’ BUB is here to chill the f*ck out in front of a roaring fire for your viewing pleasure! What are you waiting for!? Click play below:

Sometimes humans get carried away. They get really into something, and it’s too much! That’s when God intervenes. When every girl from my highschool girls volleyball team is getting into “Twerking” you begin to understand it’s one of those moments!
Check out an unfortunate twerking accident above! Let this be a lesson! LuluLemon is not flame resistant! (I assume this girl is fine, considering she had the time and vanity to then upload her mishap to Youtube.)
I think this commenter said it best:
[thanks sean and brendan]