Category: Humor

How often do you walk into the tiny room that contains the washer and dryer and then think, "Omigod, where am I?" Spinning around, you search for clues. The two enormous white boxes with big, circular windows on the front are no help at all. Frantically, you fling open the cabinets hanging on the wall.… Continue reading The #Funny Thing About Signs #Humor

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That's the thing about dolphins. If they don't like you, you must suck as a human being. Seriously suck. Dolphins have been known to protect complete strangers - of another species, no less - from sharks. Makes you wonder if dolphins didn't like some of the people who didn't make it. Maybe they just hung… Continue reading The Funny Thing About Dolphins

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A few years ago, a woman proudly posted on social media that she had participated in a 36-Car-Long Pay It Foward Chain at a Chick-Fil-A in Tampa, Florida. At the time, I remember thinking, "Well, I guess that's nice." After all, when you use the phrase "Pay It Forward," in relation to anything, it brings… Continue reading When Paying It Forward FAILS

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One by one, as states legalize medical marijuana and/or decriminalize the possession of weed, more and more studies are being conducted and published which support the argument that pot is the very least of our worries, particularly when compared to the scions of legal addiction: alcohol, tobacco and Game of Thrones. In fact, a recent… Continue reading 8 Common Things Much More Lethal Than Marijuana

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One night, after I'd fallen asleep, my husband landed on a horror site and spent hours devouring short stories. For some reason, he immediately wrote an über brief horror story that went like this: I returned home from work. My wife was not in her usual spot, which was strange because she's been dead for… Continue reading The Two Sentence Long Horror Story

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MSP Press - Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced that if Mexico agrees to build a wall along the U.S. southern border, at their own expense, Canada will insist that the United States erect a wall along the its northern border - at the U.S. taxpayer's expense. Citing the draw of socialized medicine and lower… Continue reading Canada Demands U.S. Build Border Wall

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I'll admit it. When I was a teen, I used to be a bit of a gossip. My own self-esteem was so fractured after my merciless stint in middle school, I felt less "different" when I learned of others' flaws, weaknesses and mistakes. A good gossip-mongering session made me feel included because everyone was doing it. … Continue reading Gossip Girl And The Juicy Tidbit

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Just Four Friggin' Lines is a poetry series by Miss Snarky Pants devoted to people who prefer to read Donald Trump's speech - announcing his run for the presidency - on the toilet. Now before you say, Hey, wait a minute! That's not Just Four Friggin' Lines, please note that I never indicated how long the lines… Continue reading Just Four Friggin’ Lines #6 – The Trump Edition

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Just Four Friggin' Lines is a new poetry series penned by Miss Snarky Pants. Afraid to make a commitment or intimidated by sonnets that have the nerve to go on for fourteen lines? That's not an issue here - because it's Just Four Friggin' Lines! Go ahead; follow me. Leading is exhausting, isn't it? Take a break. It's… Continue reading Just Four Friggin’ Lines #2

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Miss Snarky Pants

I'm Miss Snarky Pants, "MSP" if you're nasty. I live with my awesome hubby and our three cats in Florida.

This is a blog for horrible people. How do you know if you're horrible? Read a blog post and if you smile, you basically suck. If you laugh, you have no soul. In fact, I'm willing to bet you're the kind of person who's farted and blamed it on a stranger.

It's okay. So have I, but I blamed mine on an entire HVAC system. If you burp like a 9-year-old, thank God for the miracle of high-waisted jeans, or occasionally serve up evil, processed, frozen pot pies for dinner, you're in the right place.

I understand you. I also didn't appreciate being blamed for that fart. At a wedding? C'mon.

Seriously, if some blogs leave you feeling hopelessly inadequate, this one will leave you feeling oddly superior. Smarter, maybe. Happier. Who knew having no soul could feel so good?

So, if you'd like to read about the adventures of my muffin top, how I accidentally insulted Alan Alda, or why I hate witty people, please, by all means, read on. Horrible people have to stick together.