How to be a self-aware parent

Mommy blogger, author, and podcast host Cathy Cassani Adams explains what a
self-aware parent is and how parents can apply these traits to raising their
children in a more understanding and compassionate manner.

How to be a self-aware parent

A self-aware parent is somebody who understands themselves and therefore they can understand their kids better. If you have an understanding of how you're feeling, then you know how you are relating to your children. Not only that, if you have compassion for yourself and understanding for yourself, - you have more compassion for your children. So it's always the first step in being able to identify and attune to your kids is to understand where YOU are when you are relating to them. My favorite example of being a self-aware parent is: some days you wake up in the morning and maybe one of your children spills a cup of orange juice. If you're in a good place, if you like you got enough rest - it's very easy for you to say: "it's OK, let's just clean it up". But then maybe the next day you wake up late or maybe you have a work meeting or maybe something is going on and your same child spills the orange juice. Your reaction is completely different based on how you're feeling. So did the child really do anything different or are you just in a different space, you're not aware of how you're feeling as so they're getting the brunt of your emotions ? And that's something to be clear about you still may have the same reaction, you maybe frustrated but you understand they are not to blame. And sometimes even an apology is in order. That oh, I had a big reaction, it's not about you. I'm just in a hurry and then they understand but they're not necessarily doing something wrong but that you're having your own emotional experience.

Mommy blogger, author, and podcast host Cathy Cassani Adams explains what a self-aware parent is and how parents can apply these traits to raising their children in a more understanding and compassionate manner.

Cathy Cassani Adams, LCSW

Author, Podcast Host, Teacher

Cathy Adams, LCSW, CPC, CYT, is Co-Founder of Be U, Inc., a conscious living company. She is the author of three books, including the newly released Living What You Want Your Kids to Learn: The Power of Self-Aware Parenting. Cathy serves as adjunct faculty in the sociology department at Dominican University, she co-hosts the internationally popular Zen Parenting Radio podcast, and she writes a regular column, called The Self-Aware Parent, for Chicago Parent Magazine. She’s a blogger for The Huffington Post, a frequent guest expert on Chicago’s WGN radio, and her parent coaching has been the focus of a CBS News Report and a Fox News Special Report. She’s been featured numerous times in Parents Magazine, Newsweek Magazine, the Chicago Tribune, Ebony Magazine, Crain’s Chicago Business, Today’s Chicago Woman, and West Suburban Magazine. Cathy is a sought after speaker for schools, conferences, and retreats, and she runs self-awareness workshops for kids and adults. Cathy considers her most important experience to be that of mother to three girls, ages 11, 10, and 7.

A self-aware parent is somebody who understands themselves and therefore they can understand their kids better. If you have an understanding of how you're feeling, then you know how you are relating to your children. Not only that, if you have compassion for yourself and understanding for yourself, - you have more compassion for your children. So it's always the first step in being able to identify and attune to your kids is to understand where YOU are when you are relating to them. My favorite example of being a self-aware parent is: some days you wake up in the morning and maybe one of your children spills a cup of orange juice. If you're in a good place, if you like you got enough rest - it's very easy for you to say: "it's OK, let's just clean it up". But then maybe the next day you wake up late or maybe you have a work meeting or maybe something is going on and your same child spills the orange juice. Your reaction is completely different based on how you're feeling. So did the child really do anything different or are you just in a different space, you're not aware of how you're feeling as so they're getting the brunt of your emotions ? And that's something to be clear about you still may have the same reaction, you maybe frustrated but you understand they are not to blame. And sometimes even an apology is in order. That oh, I had a big reaction, it's not about you. I'm just in a hurry and then they understand but they're not necessarily doing something wrong but that you're having your own emotional experience.