I Lost The Love Of My Life

Growing up I was fiercely independent and I had trust issues. My father left our family when I was a baby, so I always a bit insecure. I always avoided dating, focussing on school, friends and family. in my first year of varsity I met a guy, I fell inlove with him immediately, I got so scared. I broke off all contact with him, went away for about a month. I was scared of being inlove, of trusting someone and letting them in. But I couldn't forget him. He kept trying to reach me. Two months after I got back we reconnected, and I couldn't help myself. I was so deeply inlove with him. We started dating, we were a perfect match. He taught me to love, and trust people. I became a happier person. He showed me a world I never knew existed. He took care of me, he loved me. He was always there for me. I love him so much. After. A few months our pasts caught up with us, I became clingy, his abusive childhood made him distant. We had a few fights, but we always fixed things. We planned our future. We wanted to get married. I was so comfortable around him, we never pretended, loved each other and told each other constantly, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We helped each other move on from dark places, and we brought happiness to each other. We've been in a steady relationship for two years, with plans to get married. Then last week he had an incident with his family, and things changed. He became that scared hurt child again. I tried being there for him, but he couldn't deal with it or face up to it. So he left me. He has no contact with me, he doesn't respond to any of my calls. My heart bleeds for him. He told me that he loves me and he misses me. But he also told me not to wait for him or hope for him. He told me to leave him alone. I miss him so much. I want to be there for him and support him. I want to take away his hurt and make him happy again, but he doesn want anything to do with me. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do I can't live my life without him and I know he loves me and he's hurting too.