Diesel, looking for a way to cash in on the upcoming Iron Man sequel, decided cologne was the way to go. It wasn't, Diesel (aluminum foil pants). Also, why's the bottle shaped like Iron Man trying to squeeze the life out of his wiener?

Diesel's hoping you'll splash a little of this beneath your breastplate before donning your armor (or climbing into your office cubicle, whatever the case may be) in celebration of "the season's most daring, fearless, courageous hero."

And, with any luck, the scent (which remains unchanged), with its "top notes of lemon blossom, mandarin and coriander leaves, a heart of labdanum, black rose and lavender, and a dry down of amber, tolu wood and ebony wood" will find olfactory favor with Pepper Potts over in accounting.

Holy shit, Iron Man smells like a woman. Not even a hint of motor oil or missile residue? You outta be ashamed, Iron Man. And not just because I have a video of you trying to procreate with a vending machine, but I do and I'm not above blackmailing. Or panhandling. QUARTERS OR I'LL CUT YOU.