The Aliens are from Saturn they came here because an asteriod hit Saturn and made it uninhabitable for them. And they got to Earth cuz' Saturn's "Un-orbiting" brought it within three days journey of Earth. So they attacked and tried to conquer. But us "Puny Humans" put up a fight. So hence the story.

"AAARRRGGHH!!" A medic ran up and inspected Dave's shoulder. "It was a energy sting, it should heal.""It hurts like the Dickens!""Sit still sir, I'm going to fix your arm.""What is your name and rank man?""Corporal Ron Hill sir. Now bite down on this, that's it..."

I don't want to seem like I'm trying to find mistakes, but it would look better like so:

"AAARRRGGHH!!" A medic ran up and inspected Dave's shoulder. "It was a energy sting, it should heal."

"It hurts like the Dickens!"

"Sit still sir, I'm going to fix your arm."

"What is your name and rank man?"

"Corporal Ron Hill sir. Now bite down on this, that's it..."

It makes it easier to tell who's talking.

Hope I helped!

_________________LEGO Builder, Writer, Video-Gamer, Greaser, History Professor, Swordsman, and Military Collector. I am the Most Interesting Man in the World. :p

They look pretty neat, although, for a couple thousand years in the future, they don't look too much more advanced than what we have now. I guess really it's the helmets. Perhaps a more sci-fi looking helmet would be better. Perhaps black or gray motorcycle helmets with black visors would be better. Just my opinion though; you can make 'em however ya like.

_________________LEGO Builder, Writer, Video-Gamer, Greaser, History Professor, Swordsman, and Military Collector. I am the Most Interesting Man in the World. :p

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

You cannot post new topics in this forumYou cannot reply to topics in this forumYou cannot edit your posts in this forumYou cannot delete your posts in this forumYou cannot post attachments in this forum