Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever is coming, and there's nothing your or I or the Humane Society can do about it. With it comes an entire soundtrack of holiday songs, curated by Lifetime, available now from iTunes. God bless.

Entertainment Weekly debuts "A Very Grumpy Christmas," by House of Broken Glass, complete with a brief video featuring snatches from the film. (Unfortunately it can't be embedded.) Watch as the pouting cat made famous by Reddit rides in a bicycle basket, drives a car, blows up a building. They've got the full song list for the soundtrack, as well, which apparently includes a cover of "All I Want For Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)" by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, a version of "Jingle Bells" by the Brian Setzer Orchestra and "It's Hard to Be a Cat at Christmas" by Cats Across America. Is it, though? Is it really?

Which reminds me: Next week's meeting of the steering committee for the War on Christmas as been relocated from the basement of a Tulsa, Oklahoma Outback Steakhouse to a decommissioned Midwestern missile silo. DM the president of the ACLU for details. I hope to see you all there.