Flash And Smash

I like to think I know our audience, so I’m pretty sure there’s at least one person reading this who sees indecent exposure as a harmless pastime and a fun hobby. Well, this sounds neither harmless nor fun, so pay attention, and think twice.

A fellow in Anderson, California had a pretty decent hook to engage people and prime them for a good flashin’. He pretended to be a Walmart employee, helpfully pointing out the locations of items that shoppers were looking for. It’s not known if he put on a show for anyone besides the case reported here, but in any event he probably wishes he’d skipped this lady, who appreciated his performance so much that she offered him a nice kick in the dick as a way to say thank you. And when I say offered, I mean gave. There wasn’t really any negotiation involved.

The woman initially thought the man was a worker since he was “pointing out where items were located in the store,” according to the Anderson Police Department.

“The Suspect then asked the Victim to look at something and exposed his genitals to the Victim,” noted investigators. The woman responded by striking the offender below the belt (though police did not specify how she delivered the blow)

Somewhat surprisingly if you’ve ever been mashed in the coins, the suspect ran off and got away. Police describe him as a balding, heavyset white man in his mid 20’s. No mention of him being hunched over or having a noticeable limp, though.

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