Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Sorry this is a day late. Real life and allergies have been ganging up on me, but I have started to slowly get caught up. How's your TV schedule going? I hope your shows are treating you well. This week was a mixed bag for me with some shows correcting weak points and some creating them. I will say that the nominated episode of The Americans was a high point for the acting alone. Keri Russell has certainly grown since her Felicity days. Next time's nominated show is NCIS if I can find the episode that was nominated. CBS is getting stingy with their streaming and I'm not paying to watch commercials. If you'd like to nominate a show, please fill out the short 2 question form below. Reminder - I will not review any nominated show I've already reviewed this season so no need to nominate The Americans or Nashville. Also if it is listed under weekly reviews, I will already watch those. If you have any questions about the nominating process or how shows are randomly chosen, hit me up in the comment sections. As always thanks to our guest reviewers and until next week, happy TV viewing.

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Nominated Episode

The Americans - 3.09 - Do Mail Robots Dream of Electric Sheep?

To be honest, I have absolutely no clue what was going on in this episode at all. Something to do with mail and double crosses and children's services. It's all a muddled mess. Still it doesn't matter because some scenes don't need context to be great. Like watching Viola Davis break down Annalise one piece of makeup removal at a time on How to Get Away with Murder, the scene with Betty and Elizabeth is one of the finest pieces of craftwork I have seen. It's understated and very real. What is happening is so thoroughly despicable and yet Elizabeth never comes off as a cartoon monster or even a crazy zealot. Then in her last moments, Betty confronts Elizabeth as evil and she has no comeback. It's a powerful moment that probably would have been even more intense if I had any clue why it was happening, but there's no denying the brilliance of this scene. And it's not the only one. The scene between Gabe and Philip is deceptively laid back until you realize that the game is not actually on the Scrabble board but a fight for control over the Jennings' family itself. If you never have any intention of watching The Americans at least try the Betty and Elizabeth scene. If you do intend to try it, I highly suggest starting from the beginning. It really is a show you need watch in sequence.

Grade: A-

Best Reason to Watch - the acting
Best Scene - Betty and Elizabeth talking about making the world a better place
Best Moment - when Betty the hostage realizes that Elizabeth is going to kill her
Best Plan - Betty tries to get Elizabeth to feel empathy for her by telling her all about her family
Best Retro - all the cool classic cars
Best Reference - the title
Best Twist - Stan planned the threat to the witness
Biggest Awww Moment - Elizabeth lies to Betty to reassure her as she dies
Biggest Difference between Seasons 1 and 3 - In season 1 it seemed like Philip was the one trying to pursue Elizabeth. In this season, it seems like Elizabeth is more conciliatory.
Biggest Huh? - I obviously don't remember this show as much as I thought I did. Is Philip/Clark married to this woman too? I mean they are talking about having kids.
Most Intense Non-Death Moment - Gabe vs. Philip
Worst Advice - taking aspirin with beer or a raw egg
Worst Spy in the World? - Who is this Hans guy and why is he so terrible at his job? If I were Elizabeth, I wouldn't want to work with this liability either.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Richard Thomas of The Waltons' fame

Best Quotes -
1. Betty: "Do you have children?" Elizabeth: "Yes." Betty: "And this is what you do?" Elizabeth: "Sometimes." Betty: "By yourself?" Elizabeth: "With my husband." Betty: "Why?" Elizabeth: "To make the world a better place." Betty: "You think doing this to me will make the world a better place." Elizabeth: "I'm sorry, but it will." Betty: "That's what evil people tell themselves when they do evil things."
2. Betty: "You are not going to let me leave, are you?" Elizabeth: "It's not possible. No." Betty: "Oh, this is not how I expected it to end, the story. I'm not afraid of leaving the world. I don't know why, but I'm not. It's better than falling down in the street like a drunk and waiting for some stranger to pass by or sitting in front of the television alone. Oh, I hate hospitals. When Gil was sick, I hated to go see him there. I went but I hated everything about it."
3. Gabriel: "Elizabeth rejected the first officer proposed to be her husband in America. In her own way, she chose you." Philip: "It never felt like that to me." Gabriel: "Never the less, it's true."
4. Elizabeth: "It's only natural that you developed feelings for Martha. I understand." Philip: "Thanks for your permission." Elizabeth: "I didn't mean it like that."
5. Gabriel: "Stuck between a geode and a hard place."

Episode of the Week

The Flash - 2.03 - Family of Rogues

I admit it. I groaned when I heard this one was going to revolve around the Snarts. Neither of those two come off well usually because Cold has that annoyingly cheesy vocal rasp and terrible, terrible dialogue, while Lisa is schlock-ingly sexual in the most one-dimensional vampy way. Generally all I do is laugh when they are on the screen and not in a complimentarily way . However this episode built the two up as people with an actual back story and some empathy. It's a good twist for the spin-off because I need to not actively despise main characters going in. Not that I need more of the Snarts around. They're best in small doses. Not only were the Snarts a surprise, but The Flash did something no other sci-fi genre show would dare to do. It cut the emoangsting off at the knees. Woo hoo! I adore that Iris saw her dad's point-of-view right away and forgave him for lying to her all those years. It could have been a multi-episode chasm between them but instead they took the high road and didn't let it devolve into contrived drama just to give Iris something to do. Big time kudos to the writers for reminding me why this is my favorite comic-based show. It helped make this the best episode of the season so far and the episode of the week.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - Cold didn't come off as a cheesy, flat ubercomic villain this time
Best / Most Heartbreaking Scene - Joe tells Iris that her mother is still alive and Iris understands why he lied
Best Character Interaction - Cold and Barry
Best Continuity - Big Belly Burger
Best Thinking - Barry keeps Lewis from killing anyone through being smart
Best Cat Woman - Lisa Snart plays the sexy villainess in Cisco's life
Best Twist - Wells is back in this universe and perhaps won't be limited to the last 30 seconds of every episode now
Biggest Leap of Faith Literally - Iris leaps out of an office building window because Barry says he'll be there to catch her
Biggest Improvement - Cisco, making the suit cold retardant
Least in Need of Coffee - Patty
Worst Plan - telling everyone that your wife died
Worst Father Ever - Lewis inserted a bomb in his daughter's head to force his son to cooperate with his plan
Best Daughter - I'm not a fan of Iris usually, but I have never liked her more than in that scene with Joe
Most Handy - being able to catch bullets when you're pretending to be a bad guy
Most Needing to Go - Caitlin's crush on Jay
Most Overused - It used to be "my bad." It's always anytime someone uses the word "feels" as a noun. Newbie to the category is "my jam."
Most Ruthless - Lewis shoots Barry
The "Say It Isn't So" Award - Jay is staying. Please no, let him go.
The "Welcome Back" Award (character) - Linda is back. Woo hoo! I love the actress and the character. Now to give her something to do.
The "Welcome Back" Award (actor) - Michael Ironside as the default military guy in the 80's and 90's, including Top Gun

Best Quotes -
1. Joe: "I know. I should have told you sooner but I couldn't figure out the right way. And the mother you thought you remembered, the perfect mother, the stories I made up for you, that is the mother you deserve and I knew Francine couldn't be like that. She would only break your heart. I'm so sorry." Iris: "Dad, it's okay. I understand. You were just trying to keep me safe."
2. Cisco: "How do you feel?" Lisa: "Like we should have put down some plastic." ~This quote made me laugh since Cisco is basically trying something that could potentially blow Lisa's head off. Humor in the face of death is a win for me.
3. Lewis: "Okay son, make me proud." Cold: "Like I care." ~This one was all in the delivery.
4. Caitlin: "Does it physically pain your family NOT to rob people?"
5. Joe: "I need you to leave town." Francine: "And you thought you could pay me to walk away from my own daughter." Joe: "Last time you walked away for free."
6. Caitlin: "Being a superhero isn't always about how fast you can run. It's about helping however you can, wherever you're needed most. I think that Jay Garrick, Physicist has just as much to contribute as Jay Garrick, Superhero. Maybe more."
7. Joe: "I don't know. Now I feel like my 1 wrong might be worse." Barry: "Look Joe, I've known you for….you know, most of my life and I know that you always have a good reason for the decisions you make and obviously you were worried that Iris would go down the wrong path if Francine raised her. I mean look at Snart. He's a criminal because he had Louis for a father. That could have been me." Joe: "Oh come on, never." Barry: "Yeah because I had you…and so did Iris. You just gotta trust in that and tell her the truth." Joe: "Yeah, how do I do that without hurting her?" Barry: "She's not a little girl anymore. You should have seen her in action the other day, putting her neck on the line for a story. She can handle anything that comes her way." Joe: "I've just lied to her for so long I'm scared she's not gonna understand or forgive me. I could lose her." Barry: "No, she's gonna forgive you. You've just got to give her a chance."

I'm getting really tired of 51 getting disrespected by the public, other firehouses and upper management. That needs to end. The Firehouse is always under attack from the very people that are supposed to support them. Always. That upper management has an Odin complex and half of them need to go. Boden is no fool and I relish the day he and Riddle go head to head. Gabby and Casey completely underwhelmed me but I can see how their fans will be very happy. Congrats to you guys. It was funny that they were going to tell no one about the baby and 3/4 of the way through, everybody knew. All the way to the CPD. Odd that we didn't get to see Antonio mention it instead of Voight. I love when CPD characters come on the CF. I don't love the vigilante gene that seems to live inside of Casey. In the real world, he wouldn't have his job and he might even be dead for pulling some of the stunts he's pulled. Going to the club and getting that book was stupid. No other word. Stupid. He didn't know Voight was following him. He didn't know Nesbitt was following him. Given the trouble he gets himself into, he should be a little more aware of his surroundings. Thankfully PD saved his butt.

It makes me mad that there are people in this world who act just like those idiots who are suing 51. So disrespectful to the people who put their lives on the line to protect them. I wanted Casey to punch somebody. So ridiculous. This entire plot is ridiculous. The response time is documented. What's to complain about? The police were there when they were ramming the cars out of the way. The initial call, the arrival time, the police arrival time, it's all on record. The city should be suing these jerks for obstruction and charging the ones who barricaded the street with involuntary manslaughter. This is a stupid plot. So many holes, so much belief to suspend. I just can't. I knew the Portland's were going to be entitled jerks. I wanted Herman to pull that biddy out of her doorway by her hair. What a bint. This is another stupid plot full of holes. THEY VOLUNTARILY MOVED INTO AN APT DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET FROM A BAR. Then they're surprised at the noise. You can't see me but I am rolling my eyes so hard. Move. Find another apartment. No one forced you to choose that building. Idiots. No, instead they file a complaint with the city. What yuppies. Patterson is a psycho. I don't care; it's coming. The man is unhinged and I need him to back away from Severide. That's the one story I'm looking forward too. He and Kelly will have a come to Jesus moment and it will be glorious. I really need our guys to catch a break next week and start giving as good as they're getting because Team Fire is getting it from all sides.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - It appears Nesbitt is gone. Thank you.
Best Scene - A very pissed off Herman announces karaoke night at Molly's after being treated like a second class, stupid citizen by Mrs. Portland. He blasts that music and sings his little heart out. Out of the back door, directly across the street. I laughed so hard. We won't forget about you Herman.
Worst Scene - Casey gets into a car chase with Nesbitt on the streets of Chicago, at night and pulls his truck into an alley. Dumb move. He's lucky Voight was following him. Nesbitt got out with a gun AND got the notebook. So weak.
Best Reaction - Gabby blurts out she's pregnant to a stunned Boden. He's as happy as if it was his grandchild. So cute.
Biggest WTF - The man 51 saved in that fire acts like he doesn't know a thing about anything that could help them with the lawsuit and won't come forward with any statement. What a jerk. They could have left you there you greedy old man.
Most Disturbing - The look in Patterson's eyes when he was trying to intimidate Kelly at Molly's. Psycho.
Best Addition - Jimmy. They're easing him in slowly and not making everything about him all at once. There is a story there with his brother coming.
The MVP - Molly's. Everybody but the Portland's loves her and now she has karaoke.
Biggest SMH - The idiot woman grabbed her fiancé while they were using a defibrillator. They call clear for a reason, lady.

Best Quotes -
1. Herman - "Lady, you can take that high and mighty attitude back to Portland. This is Chicago."
2. Nesbitt - "I'm a protected federal informant." Voight - "No kidding? Now get your a** up against that truck."
3. Voight - "You know how you drown a rat, Jack? You just toss his dumba** out in the deep end and wait for him to sink."
4. Herman - "For the love of God, will somebody get over here and arrest this moron?"
5. Brett - "Doesn't she know what clear means?"

This is my favorite episode so far this season. We had fast pacing, an interesting COTW, and great character moments but my favorite part was the last three minutes. The closing montage, starting with the take down of the outlaws and lasting through the funeral for the victims from the opening sequence, accompanied by a heartbreaking rendition of “Amazing Grace” by Alaska Reid, had this self-professed Grinch almost in tears. Everyone had a chance to shine tonight including the guest cast. Rossi’s discreet but pointed chat with the Chief about the drinking and the Chief’s subsequent involvement in the take down reminds us that Rossi is not only a great profiler but a seasoned agent and knows how to broach the subject without coming across as critical or condescending but supportive and understanding. I’ve missed Reid’s history lessons. In early seasons much of the factual exposition came from Reid due to his perfect recall but the writers have spread the exposition duties around more in recent years – not something I really noticed, or realized how much I missed until his story of Las Vegas, New Mexico’s claim to fame. Garcia and Morgan are always good for a laugh and they did not disappoint. Garcia and caffeine is comical enough but her interactions with Morgan while super-caffeinated garnered a good old-fashioned belly laugh from me. I gotta give the writers a huge shout out for giving us a male/female relationship that is deeply rooted in love without feeling the need to make it a romantic relationship over the years.

Grade: A

Best Reason to Watch – fast pace, interesting COTW with great character moments
Best Scene – the final montage
Best Character Interaction – Rossi and Chief Montoya / Super-Caffeinated Garcia and Morgan
Best Twist – one of the Unsubs was involved in a case the BAU consulted on years before
Best Reference – outlaw Lester wants to go down in a “Blaze of Glory”
Best Song – “Amazing Grace” by Alaska Reid
Best Ending – montage of the take down and the team at the victim’s funeral instead of the usual plane scene and voice over quote
The “Welcome Back” Award – Benito Martinez of TV, movies and video game voice work / Emily Rios of The Bridge and Breaking Bad / Jesse Luken of Star-Crossed and Justified

Best Quotes:
1. Reid voice over: “All sins tend to be addictive and the terminal point of addiction is damnation. W.H. Auden.”
2. Hotch: “Six years ago, a restaurant in Las Vegas, New Mexico was robbed.” Ben: “There’s another Vegas? Hey, they got gamblin’ and hookers out there too?”
3. Lewis: “And what that means, is that after you finish serving out your remaining 20 years here, you’ll be transferred to New Mexico. Now the good news is they’ve outlawed the death penalty but the bad news is it’s gonna be a slow death in a cage.”

A truly phenomenal episode in all meanings of the word. By far the best of the series, Game Over really was able to mesh all of the characters' storylines in truly intense and satisfying ways. Granted, there are storylines that are still less interesting to me than others, but the way this episode was crafted and edited made up for it. The return of Hiro felt like a breath of fresh air. He was so happy to see Noah, and vice versa. The fact that they actually had to keep him locked up in a video game world because he was so powerful is such a cool thing. Malina and Luke will make an unlikely friendship - but one that I will enjoying seeing very much. I'm still in shock by his suicide attempt, and her race to save him. Tommy's story seems a bit convoluted at this point, but he and Emily were adorable this week. Someone came up with a theory that she could be an Evo or just be working with Caspar? That's cool with me. Carlos's story is still not doing much for me, but I like this relationship he has with Captain Dearing. Miko finally played a major role in an episode where we found out she was just a game character this whole time. That was cool. Also, Ren, buddy, I'm pretty sure you're not actually in love with her. And lastly, we have Quentin and Phoebe, as well as that Renautas mess with Erica and the Harris clones. QUENTIN! He brought such a lighthearted tone to this show where it desperately needed it. I hope Noah and Hiro save him by going back in time. He needs to stay on this show! Overall, a brilliant episode, and I can only guess and hope that the next two episodes are even better!

Grade: A+

Best Reason to Watch - Hiro's triumphant return!
Best Scene - Luke's suicide attempt and Malina saving him afterwards.
Worst Special Effects - Oh god, the CGI mess of Malina saving Luke. I mean, they tried, and that's all you can hope for, right? (It was still a mess. MAJOR props to Zachary Levi, though, for acting his way through that.)
Saddest Scene - Noah holding Quentin as he's dying, and calling him "buddy", only 10 minutes after telling him not to call him buddy.
Best Monologue - Luke, after being saved by Malina, tells her about his life's choices.
Creepiest Special Effects - Phoebe's shawdowmancer hands.
Funniest Moment - Quentin asking Miko if she's a LARPer.
The "Really?" Award - Ren telling Miko he loves her.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Masi Oka as Hiro Nakamura, finally!!!

Best Quotes -
1. Luke (leaving a message on Joanne's phone): "Hi, honey. This is your loving husband. You know, the one you nearly shot in the face."
2. Quentin: "So, are you like a cosplayer? Or, do you do LARPing? [...] She's definitely not a LARPer."
3. Malina: "Well, if you're not gonna eat, you can at least tell me why you tried to kill yourself." Luke: "I used to believe in something. I had a purpose, a reason for living. But then I lost it. I was just looking for a sign." Malina: "I'm looking for something too. Someone, actually. 7 billion people in the world - and I'm supposed to find one of them. Crazy, huh?"
4. Quentin: "I won't let you down, buddy." Noah: "Don't...call me buddy."
5. Noah: "Quentin!" Quentin: "Did I do it? Did I save her?" Noah: "You did good, buddy. You did good."
6. Noah: "Good to see you old friend."

This is episode was all about realizations. Deacon realized that Scarlett did the right thing by taking Beverly off life support, and Avery came to a decision about his marriage: he wants a divorce. Clare Bowen was amazing this episode. The way Scarlett remembered her mother and lashed out at Deacon broke my heart. Charles Esten also delivered another good performance as Deacon apologized to Scarlett for not being at the hospital. I loved that he told her he thinks she made the right decision. Hopefully the rift between these two is over. Juliette also realized that she needed Avery and tried to make amends. She fired her staff and her obnoxious “friend”, but it’s too late. Avery is tired of her behavior, and in addition to divorce, he wants full custody of their daughter. I do understand Avery; Juliette has been out of control for months. I hope that this will motivate her to get help. In other news, this episode did have some lighter moments that were much needed. I loved that Will and Kevin tried to set Gunnar up and that Gunnar failed miserably. I really enjoy Will and Gunnar’s bromance. What could I have done without in this episode? Maddie Conrad. She has to stop complaining about how she wants to be famous and how people treat her like a kid. I couldn’t care less about her relationship with Colt, either. I could have done without Markus, too, but I don’t think he’s going to be around for much longer. Overall I liked this episode better than the previous one. I think we’re starting to make progress in most of the stories which is very refreshing!

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch- Scarlett and Deacon continue to deal with Beverly’s death, and Juliette tries to improve her life.
Best Scene- Deacon tells Scarlett that she was right to take Beverly off life support. This scene was so emotional. Charles Esten and Clare Bowen were phenomenal.
Best Actress- Clare Bowen
Best Decision- Juliette firing her staff.
Most Annoying- Maddie Conrad. Listen to your mother, Maddie. I promise that she knows what’s better for you than Juliette Barnes.
Biggest Jerk- Markus Keen (again!)
Funniest Scene- Gunnar trying to hit on that woman. His speech was absolutely hilarious, and it showed he has no game.
Best Mentor- Rayna James. I think she’s going to be really good for Layla. I loved the song that she helped Layla write.

Quotes -
1. Gunnar: “You all suck as wing men.” Will: “Well it’s pretty hard when you’re choking right out of the gate.”
2. Luke: “Don’t go around trying to play cool mom with someone else’s kid just because you’ve abandoned your own.”
3. Rayna: “If I didn’t work with people who had complicated lives there wouldn’t be anyone to make music with.”
4. Avery: “How the hell am I supposed to work with crazy?”

I really love Once Upon a Time and it was one of the first shows that I actually started watching. While I adored the first two episodes of this season, the last two have unfortunately been a bit disappointing, especially this one. The problem is not the pace or the storyline but for me personally the problem is that everything is executed too easily. The writers have these brilliant ideas and storylines which I will dig into in a second but the way they present it is just too “easy” and very cheesy in my opinion. I looked closely in this episode and realized that things happen way too easily. A tiny bit of sand can all of a sudden create an entire kingdom? That is just lazy writing. But now to talk about the actual episode, in which actually a lot happened. In this episode we jumped back and forth in about three or four time periods, which was way too confusing and at one point was just annoying. So we had: “Camelot, a long time ago” where we could see how the relationship between Arthur and Guinevere, who plays a very important role in this episode, started. Then I believe we had “Camelot 5 years before the curse”, where we got to see how Arthur was only focused on finding the dagger and almost completely ignored Guinevere on her birthday. The only person who was there for her was Lancelot who escorted her when she went looking for the dagger. We also had “Camelot 6 weeks before the second curse”, where we saw how Mary tried to convince David that Arthur was evil, which thankfully worked, even though for a second I thought it would not work. Last but not least we had “Present Day Storybrooke” where Dark Swan is about to plan something very big and very bad with Merida. I wonder what she has planned. This episode was really all over the place and I had a very hard time concentrating on the different stories and trying to completely understand them. However, I think the idea itself was actually really good, but as I said above, it was executed poorly in my opinion. They made characters that I was beginning to like, for example Arthur, very unlikable, which I guess is important for a villain sometimes, but not like this. Please correct if I said something wrong. I was very confused by the episode.

Grade: C

Best Reason to Watch – We finally find out what happened between Guinevere and Lancelot and why Guinevere “hates” him (since she actually does not). / Merida is finally back and will play a very important role in the upcoming episodes.
Best Character Development - For some reason I thought Mary finally had some development in this episode. She was actually smart for once, lol.
Most Interesting Character - Lancelot and Merida! I was very interested to see what had happened between him and Arthur (+ Guinevere). While I was disappointed with the outcome, I still thought it was interesting. And Merida being part of Dark Swan’s plan, makes her even more interesting. Besides, she knows Lancelot now!
Best Scene – Merida is in Storybrooke and part of Dark Swan’s “big” plan. / Mary and David trick Arthur with the fake dagger. / Lancelot is locked up across from Merida.
Most Annoying Character – Arthur! This episode made me completely hate him. Everything about him is just bad.
Character Worthy of a Better Storyline – Hook, Robin and Zelena. We hardly saw anything of Robin and nothing of Zelena in this episode, which is really sad since Rebecca is such a good actress. And all we see of Hook this season is him kissing Emma. There is so much more they could do with him.
Worst Scene – Arthur uses the Sand of Avalon on Guinevere and on the Kingdom. I already said why I hated that scene. It was way too “easy”!!
Biggest Wish – Please execute these brilliant ideas in a good and beautiful way. There are so many other possibilities most of these scenes could have been written and finally shot. They would have come across less cheesy then. / Give Zelena and Robin an actual storyline. Robin is becoming last season’s Henry.
Biggest Question – What does Dark Swan have planned with Merida?

Best Quotes –
1. Regina: “These two can outlive a cockroach.”
2. David: “You tried to trick me with a catchy title and a comfy chair.”
3. Rumpelstiltskin: “Be careful. Love is a weapon, Deary. The most dangerous weapon of all which means the pain you should worry about isn’t the kind inflicted by a broken sword but the kind that comes from a broken heart.”
4. Guinevere: “Stop trying to mend that sword or your marriage and your kingdom will be broken forever.”

I am not gonna lie: When Daisy said that it felt as if they were driving in circles, my thought was "yeah, I know that feeling" because for around 30 minutes, the show was pretty much spinning its wheel. Daisy is still far, far away from leading the team of Inhumans which was promised to us at the end of last season (though seeing Alicia again was a welcome surprise). We still don't know what exactly Ward's plan is, aside from him wanting to take down SHIELD. And, most important, we don't know why Jemma wants to go back. Instead of answering any of those questions, it piles on a number of new ones. Does Coulson have a bigger plan in all of this? Is Andrew still alive? Why is Bobbi covering for Jemma? Weren't we done with team members having secrets from other team members without any explanation? Why didn't Lash try to kill Daisy? And most important: Who is Lash in his human form? The show points not so subtly into the direction of Rosalind, but I am calling it now, even though I might be totally off the mark: It's Andrew. Werner looked like he just had seen some sort of monster in his last scene. What kept the show firmly in B-territory were basically the last ten minutes, even though they do feel more like a lead in to the next episodes than a conclusion to the current one.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - You like riddles? Here are a bunch of them.
Best Scene - The stand-off between Ward and Hunter, especially when May is thrown into the mix. Best Character - I have become surprisingly invested into Daisy and her cause. It helps that she currently speaks more or less my mind when she talks to Coulson.
Best Twist - Lash having a human form? I really didn't see that coming.
Best Character Interaction - May and Hunter. It is good that at least one of them has common sense.
Best Action - May. Just May.
Most Twisted - Can we talk about the fact that Ward shaped his new group after the organization he intends to take down?
Most underused - Still Bobbi. Even in-universe she is pretty much side-lined at this point.
Biggest head scratcher - Why did May wait so long to inform Coulson? Other than to add to the tension, that is.

Overall I really enjoyed the swordfight bits, mostly because I love swordfights. I haven't seen them used for comedy as much so that was novel. Plus I learned some things. Thanks, Sheldon. I'm not a fan of Barry, but in small doses here, he was tolerable and I wouldn't mind seeing the guys continue taking lessons. Not so much if he's going to be dating Amy, who really needs better taste. The biggest problem I had with this episode though was the B story with Stuart. It's hard to find Stuart funny at all when he's so creepy. They need to tone him down a lot if he's going to make regular appearances. He was good when he was with Howard's mom. Now there's nothing redeeming about him and his low self-esteem. I would rather have spent more time exploring Sheldon and Amy getting back into the dating scene (minus Barry) than the entire unfunny comic store subplot.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - swordfighting
Best Scene / Most Funny - Sheldon trying to pick up women at the bar, especially the grandma
Best Reaction - Penny to Stuart's breast feeding area
Best Reference - Princess Bride ALWAYS
Best Non-Verbals - While Barry's on the phone, the guys all whack each other with their swords. When he stops, they go back to the parry position.
Biggest Product Placement - FitBit
Biggest Huh? - Shouldn't the drama department be here for swordfighting as well? Why are the guys the only ones taking this class? It would have been better if it had been fuller and they could bounce comedy off the bystanders. Surely this show can afford some extras.
Most Creepy - Stuart
Most Tacky - sending a naked photo when asking for a date
Most Long-Reaching Plans - challenging to a duel in 3 years
Least Welcomed Back - Kripke, whom I never like

Best Quotes -
1. Amy: "Well I was hoping the next person I dated would be a little less like Sheldon." Bernadette: "You mean not a scientist?" Penny: "I think she means not a weirdo."
2. Sheldon: "Excuse me, Barry." Barry: "Yes." Sheldon: "When can I stab one of my friends?" Barry: "In fencing we don't call it a stab. We call it a touch." Sheldon: "Uh yes, I'm aware but if I say I want to touch one of my friends, I'll get called into Human Resources."
3. Howard: "My name is Darth Vader. I am your father. Prepare to die."
4. Leonard: "Look at all these activities the university has: rock climbing club, archery, flag football." Sheldon: "Had me at flag. Lost me at football."
5. Sheldon: "I'm not sure I have a dominant leg. They're both pretty submissive."

The Blacklist - 3.04 - The Djinn

This episode didn't do it for me. I liked all the twists but I am so very tired of religion being blamed for everything instead of balancing it out with all the good it does too. Hollywood can take its agenda and leave it off my screen. Other than that, I am super curious as to where Dembe now is and I hope he's reunited with Red soon. I adored how Red said that he was more than a colleague to him and the fact that both men are incredibly loyal to each other is awesome. Currently I am leaning towards the idea that Dembe did not trust his associate and led him on a wild goose chase. At least I hope that's the case. I find Tom's staunch loyalty weird in a stalker kind of way, but the process he goes through to become whatever character he needs to be is thrilling to watch. I hope we get to see more of the con and that Tom continues to be a part of the show. Someday he's going to end up dead but I'll enjoy the ride as long as he stays here. As for Liz and Red, I love how much Liz's dream of having her own family affected Red. It's the one thing he absolutely cannot give her because she's not that carefree, largely innocent person anymore.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - all the twists
Best Moment - Red kicking back in the theater
Best Irony - Liz tells Red that he's a terrible actor
Best Twist - the daughter was the son
Most Preachy - Red
Most Fascinating - watching Tom create his con story
Least Surprising - Dembe was played by the informant
Worst Surprise - to come home and find a wanted fugitive in your house conducting business
Biggest Kick Butt - Dembe
Biggest Yikes - if you are so evil the CIA disavows you, that's a whole new Hitler level of low
Biggest Awww Moment - Lizzie explains her fantasy of a family with Red

Best Quotes -
1. Red: "I'm not sure we should start the party before the hostess arrives, but so be it."
2. Liz: "Listen Tom, I have done so many terrible things. I have hurt so many people." Tom: "I don't care what you've done. Liz, I know who you are. I took that for granted for a long time but I don't now. So you're right. I do have plans. I'm coming to save you." Liz: "Tom, listen…" Tom: "It's too late 'cause I'm already in."
3. Red: "Dembe is more than an associate to me. Please find him."
4. Red: "Hello. I need an ambulance. A man's dying on a cross."
5. Liz: "You're a terrible actor."

Blindspot - 1.05 - Split the Law

Carter needs to go. He's the kind of moustache-twirling, cheesy dialogue spewing, politics-wielding, flat, cartoon government villain that is overplayed and hard to take seriously. A hero is only as good as the villain they play off of and this one is beyond lame. I'd love to see him killed and have someone with more dimension take his place or at least someone who is not so predictable. Having him as one focus of the episode brought down the grade and my interest. It wasn't a question of if he was going to find a mole in the unit but whom. It wasn't a question of if he was going to try to kill Jane, but how she would survive. That's the kind of flat writing that does not inspire in a story that for the most part has been otherwise good. Speaking of the good, I liked Weller and Jane's interactions again and especially that they know just what to say to bring the other off the ledge. Yes, it's still creepy but at least it cut the emoangsting short. I also loved everything about the cemetery fight and Jane's memories are getting far more interesting every episode. Who was stockpiling children and why would they take a kid who they know would have created a lot of publicity when she went missing? No child should of course be kidnapped but that was exceptionally stupid when part of a covert operation. I mean the town still memorializes the day she disappeared.

Grade: B-

Best Reason to Watch - the action is superb
Best Scene / Best Action - cemetery fight
Best Character Interaction - Weller and Jane, like usual, and yet it's also the creepiest
Best Save - Mayfair keeps Carter from assassinating Jane
Best Banter - Zapata and Reade
Best Standoff - forget the terrorists or the hostage takers when different departments of the US government pull weapons on each other
Worst Time to Break Down - Jane's memories come right when they are tracking a dirty bomb
Biggest Awww Moment - Jane tells Weller that Taylor being taken wasn't his fault
Biggest Betrayal - Weller's sister who ekes out Zapata simply because she has the nerve to betray Weller in his own house
Biggest Smug Douche - Carter, who is beyond love to hate and into straight up hate and frankly, boredom
Biggest Huh? - Why are they giving the team potassium iodide if they're staying in headquarters? At least wait until they're going out in the field if it has a time limit for working.
Biggest Meddler - Weller's sister
Least Surprising - the hostage situation is NOT about pensions and the terrorist is NOT dead
Most Stubborn - Weller, who refuses to even consider that Jane may not be Taylor
Most Scary - Jane's child abduction site memories
Most Impressive Take Down - Jane and Dodi's henchman
Most in Need of a Program - Zapata, who needs therapy if her gambling addiction leads her to becoming a mole for Carter
The "What the Heck?" Award - Weller's sister deserves to be Gibbs' smacked. Who is invited to stay with someone and then invites someone the owner hates into their house. Have you no decency? I don't care if you are trying to mend your family. Invite your father into your own place when you get one. Don't force Weller to come home and find his dad there.
Cheesiest Line: "Tom Carter, deputy director of the CIA, and this place…this place doesn't exist."

Best Quotes -
1. Weller: "You've been through so much. If I'm making this harder for you, then just tell me 'cause that's the last thing that I want. All these expectations…I should never have put you in that situation." Jane: "Kurt..." Weller: "I should never have let them take you. I'm sorry." Jane: "It wasn't your fault." Weller: "I've heard that my whole life." Jane: "But you haven't heard it from me. It wasn't your fault."
2. Jane: "I thought we were all on the same team." Carter: "Oh, now that is adorable."
3. Mayfair: "Smugglers have been moving cesium out of Abkhazia, selling it to terrorists on the black market." Reade: "Apparently in leaky containers."
4. Jane: "Look at how he's covering the room, optimizing angles and sight lines. Is that part of MWA training?" Zapata: "The MWA has training?"
5. Zapata: "Do I need to worry about you?" Reade: "Nope, but you're gonna do it anyway."

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - 1.02 - Josh's Girlfriend is Really Cool!

I cannot watch Rebecca or Paula any longer. First off, I am offended by the Hollywood notion that women cannot be friends with each other without it getting into a competition or a scuffle over some guy. That's completely ridiculous. It's about time that Hollywood creates strong female friendships that don't revolve around romance of any kind and which celebrate each other's victories instead of tear each other down in some catty jealous fit. It's a complete stereotype that needs to be debunked. It's not entertaining AT ALL. Yes Hollywood, you really can have 2 or more strong females on the same show and not have a bitter rivalry between them. Second, this show is entirely too long and simply not funny. Every time I get to the 22 minute mark, I'm expecting the show to be about over only to find that it's only halfway there. The songs are generally either stupid or loathsome and the characters are terrible. The only things I really liked from the pilot, like Greg's snark, are completely missing in this one. Two episodes are enough. Dropped!

Grade: D
Verdict - Dropped

Best Reason to Watch - Rebecca is as zany as in the pilot so if you liked it, you will probably like this one
Best Scene - Rebecca apologizes to Paula
Best Song - opening credits
Most Disturbing Song - "Feeling Kinda Naughty" could rival "To Excess" by Kooman + Dimond
Most Fun - Paula's victory dance
Biggest Tip - Rebecca tries to pay the bouncer $500 so he refuses to let her in on the grounds that either she's a cop or a drug dealer
Most Awkward - the entire grocery scene
Most Weird Reaction - Rebecca kisses Josh's girlfriend's hand
Worst Stereotype - females can and are friends and that's something that should finally come across in Hollywood
Worst Friend - Rebecca, who keeps shafting Paula and not caring about what's up with her because she's too wrapped up in her own world
Least Funny - jokes about statutory rape
The "Take It Down a Few Decibels" Award - every time Valencia and Rebecca talk to each other, their voices go into high squeal mode
The "Say What?" Award - Matching what foods you eat to your blood type? Is that a thing?
The "Even I'm More in the Know" Award - …and that's just sad. I used to like Vampire Weekend. And no Rebecca, it's not a weekend away with vampires.
The "I Can So Relate" Award - I'm big into alone time too. Also meeting people I don't want to see in the grocery store.
The "Say What?" Award - How in the world could anything at West Covina be so hopping that they won't let people in? This isn't LA and nothing in West Covina except made a frat club or golf course should be members only.
The "No, Just No" Award - stalking your ex is bad enough but stalking his girlfriend too is even worse

Best Quotes -
1. Rebecca: "What's up with your resting Maggie Smith face?"
2. Valencia: "Do all people who go to Harvard say it as much as you do?" Rebecca: "Yeah."
3. Rebecca: "Hey I didn't move here for him, remember? I moved here because I needed a change and Josh just happens to be here. Get it straight." Paula: "Oh are we still doing that?"
4. Greg: "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say telling the truth from the beginning probably would have been the better option here."
5. Paula: "I have never met anyone in my life who lies to themselves as much as you do."

The Goldbergs - 3.05 - Boy Barry

It's a great change to watch someone pursuing Barry instead of Barry always trying to impress other people. That's what made this episode so much better than the last couple. It was also inspired to have the storyline of the adults mesh with the kids. I love how Erica inadvertently taught Beverly an important lesson too, although it was inevitable that Beverly would have to make nice with Bill. It's good to see her bend sometimes. All kudos to Murray as well for not sulking in the situation, but trying to be proactive. It's a good look on him. Mostly though it was the end that did me in. I love how this show can make me laugh and awww at the exact same time. And that's what keeps me coming back and makes The Goldbergs my #1 comedy.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - always the heart
Best Scene - Erica reconciles Barry and Lainey and inadvertently gets Bill back into her dad's life too
Best Moment - Bill leaves and Beverly sits in Murray's lap
Best Visual - Barry and Beverly running in the rain together to patch relationships with Bill and Lainey and then Bill running in the rain to Murray. Good thing they live close to each other.
Best Halloween Costume, Worst Everyday Wear - Barry's Boy George look
Best Nostalgia - classic TV and the fact that this show is modeled after it
Worst Nostalgia - the bushy moustache, which mostly looked bad on everyone
Most Screwed - Randy, who keeps getting jerked around but never gets a sale
Most High School - Laney's attempt to embarrass herself just makes the whole thing popular
Most Least in Sight - Why hello there Adam in the last 15 seconds? I didn't even realize we hadn't seen you all episode until then. Hope you had a great work vacation.
Worst Move - Oh Bill, you can't force a man to choose between his wife and his best friend. In the 80's that decision was wife every time.
The "Say What?" Award - Did anyone actually think Boy George was hot? Hmm. That should have been a big red flag, Barry.
The "Yeah, I've Got to Agree" Award - Beverly's winking puppy eyes look is very creepy / Lainey's waxing poetic over Barry's lips makes me nauseous too
The "Welcome Back" Award - Lainey's dad

Best Quotes -
1. Announcer: "In life, there are certain relationships that define who you are - your first teen crush, your best friend, your family. These are the relationships that matter the most but they're also the hardest because when you truly love someone, you sometimes hold on too tight afraid that you'll lose them. But the truth is when you give the people you love most just a little space, you'll find the place they really want to be is right at your side."
2. Bill: "Your son walks his own path. I see what Lainey sees in him." Murray: "I don't."
3. Beverly: "Bill, you don't have a woman in your life telling you all the things you do that are wrong and stupid. I will be that woman." Bill: "Actually, I really haven't missed that very much."
4. Murray: "Enough. You, me, and Bill are going to talk this out." Beverly: "You want to talk?" Murray: "Of course not, but you forced me into it."
5. Beverly: "That was an amazing thing you just did, honey." Erica: "I guess sometimes two people just need each other no matter how weird it seems to everyone else."

Grandfathered - 1.04 - Deadbeat

Grandfathered knows heart and that's half of a great comedy for me, which is probably why it's likely to be my last comedy standing for newbies this fall. Only Life in Pieces is still around as competition. I think this was actually my favorite episode of the show too. It wasn't hysterically funny but the understanding between Sara and Jimmy made the middle stand out and the ending was fantastic. I especially like how they each owned up to their past mistakes and saw things from the other's point of view. That's a maturity that has been lacking in the show so far. I hope they continue to play it smart. Kudos to the character development in this episode. Plus, The Cure. Need I say more.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - character development
Best Scene - Sara tells Jimmy why she decided not to tell him about Gerald
Best Awww Moment - Jimmy watches Gerald's second birthday party with the family
Best Reaction - Jimmy and Richie Sambora to Frederick singing, "Frederick the Farmer"
Best Dad - Gerald, who dresses up in a chicken suit to please his daughter
Best Music - Pictures of You by The Cure
Most Nostalgic - Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi guests on the show
Worst Plan - Criss Angel as magician for a kid's party
Worst Party Game - True Confessions by Jimmy and Sara
Biggest Ouch - Frederick sings that Jimmy is a deadbeat
Least Likely to be Ready in 5 minutes - Jimmy and his extra long decision making and super sized morning routine
The "Welcome Back" Award - Patrick Fischler from OUaT and Mad Men

Best Quotes -
1. Kid: "Are you the bathroom lady?" Annelise: "I used to be so much more."
2. Jimmy: "Gerald, I've hosted Mariah Carey's 40th birthday party for the last 5 years. I think I can throw a party for a 2 year old who's not even famous."
3. Jimmy: "Annelise, I need you to throw me a party." Annelise: "Now? I'm visiting my grandmother's grave." Jimmy: "Is she going somewhere?"
4. Frederick: "Wow, that's a lot of complicated stuff for a kid's party."
5. Jimmy: "Alright, I get it. I screwed up, but you know what? I know how to make this up to Edie. You know how?" Gerald: "By paying for her college education?"
6. Vanessa (holding a cake knife): "I just cleaned this. Don't make me get it dirty again."

How to Get Away with Murder - 2.05 - Meet Bonnie

We're only in the 5th episode and I think it has to be declared the Season of Asher already. I haven't felt such a complete reversal for a character in years. I like that Asher is struggling to do the right thing throughout this episode, despite people with contrary motives pushing him to follow their agenda. It shows a steadfastness that his character lacked in season 1. Things are now getting difficult for him as he is slowly pulled deeper into the abyss that started with Lila's murder. Bonnie was also a marvel with Liza Weil doing her finest work. From pulling at Asher's strings to breaking down to Annalise, Weil was breathtaking. Still my biggest criticism of the episode was that we really didn’t learn much about either Asher or Bonnie. Asher's role in the lake incident is still foggy since we have no clue what that incident contains. We got confirmation that Bonnie was sexually abused but that seemed like mostly a given. It still doesn't tell us how she's connected to Annalise or why she feels so indebted to her that she would give up her own freedom to protect Annalise.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - Bonnie, Asher, and Frank
Best Scene - Annalise defends Bonnie from the students who are going all lynch mob on her
Best Character Interaction - Bonnie and Asher
Best Moment - Annalise breaks down in front of Bonnie and Frank
Best Acting - Liza Weil, who takes Davis' crown for this episode only
Best Reaction - students to hearing that Asher might be wearing a wire
Best Reference - Heisenberg
Biggest Facepalm - Wes opens the suitcase without using gloves or anything
Most Improved - Asher
Most Persistent - Wes, who won't take a suitcase of cash as an answer
Most Masterful Manipulator - Frank, who takes Annalise's crown for this episode only
Most Obnoxious - every single one of the students not named Asher

Best Quotes -
1. Annalise: "You get away from her. You want to know the truth? Asher was going to testify against everyone in this house so Bonnie told him that she killed Sam in order to save your a** because that's what we do around here. Ruin everyone's life to save yours: Nate's, mine, and now Bonnie's. Who's next, huh? Whose life do you want to destroy to stay free?" Michaela: "Why didn't you just tell us?" Annalise: "Because I'm trying to protect you like always. When are you gonna finally accept that?"
2. Oliver: "Hey, do you think Annalise would ever pay me? I mean I do all this work for her for free." Connor: "You don't want to work for Annalise." Michaela: "Trust your boyfriend on that one."
3. Asher: "Did you…you cut a deal for yourself, didn't you?" Dad: "Of course I did." Asher: "God, is there any part of you that thought that maybe I should just do this to protect my kid and not to protect myself?" Dad: "I'm protecting the both of us." Asher: "But mostly you, dad."
4. Asher: "Sam Keating was not a good guy. He knocked up a law student and he strangled her with his bare hands. Who cares if he's dead?" Sinclair: "Me." Asher: "Why?" Sinclair: "He was murdered, Asher. Maybe working in that house has messed with your head a bit, but people can't get away with killing each other and definitely not if you're a woman who's responsible for educating an entire generation of law students." Asher: "What? Do you think the world is going to be filled with Annalise Mini-Me's? That we're going to be walking around killing people for fun?"
5. Frank: "Where are you going?" Annalise: "To kick some a**."

iZombie - 2.03 - Real Dead Housewife of Seattle

Ha! iZombie got its humor back and it makes all the difference. Sure high maintenance Liv got old about 2/3 of the way in but she was a heck of a lot of fun in the meantime. I laughed more in the first half of this episode than the last two combined. Plus, Peyton returned and I am all for that. I've missed her. If Gilda isn't lying about the cake, then we might be in for a reconciliation far sooner than I was hoping. While the perpetrator was pretty obvious again, the episode did have some nice twists too like Gilda being Vaughn's daughter or the full on zombie doctor. I think I prefer Liv's pale style than the green skinned look the once not-so-good doctor is currently sporting. He looks like he's been hanging out on a cheesy D horror movie set. In as much as I want Gilda gone so Peyton can move back in, I will say she is growing on me a little mostly through her ties to other characters. Vaughn and the Major as murderer plotline still need to go though.

Grade: B+

Best Reason to Watch - iZombie found its humor again
Best Character Interaction - Liv and Clive
Best New Look - Liv is smashing in her new style
Best Reaction - Ravi to Liv getting a call about the new fabulous shoes the stylist found…or to get Liv to leave him alone. You choose.
Easiest Way to Get Rid of Your Enemies - zombie kill
Worst Plan - Vaughn allows Liv to see Major with him at his work
Biggest Woo Hoo - Peyton's back
Biggest Say What? - Gilda is Vaughn's illegitimate daughter
Biggest Reaction - Taylor's husband puts a fist through his coffee table when finding out his wife screwed Vaughn
Biggest Awww Moment - Liv realizes that Peyton brought her a birthday cake
Least Surprising - Gilda and Major start screwing / Liv's new BFF is a murderer
Most Surprising - Liv goes full out zombie eyes on Bethany after she maces her
Most Needing to Go (character) - it's a toss-up between Vaughn and Gilda. No, it's definitely Vaughn.
Most Needing to Go (plot) - Major as drug using murderer for hire
Most on Point Song - the soon-to-be redead guy is pleading for Major to let him go when Voices Carry by Til Tuesday comes on. "Oh Shush" indeed.
Most Awkward but Still Awww - the Peyton and Ravi hug
The "What the Heck was That?" Award - Liv freaks out and tries to throw water on Vaughn. That'll go over well.
The "There's No Cone of Silence…Oh Just Forget It" Award - I give up. All characters, especially those with super secret secrets, will freely blab in whatever public place they just happen to be in, about said secrets. At this point it's as useless as grousing about female detectives running in high heels to chase a suspect or people who don't use gloves at crime scenes.
The "Welcome Back" Award - Ona Grauer from Intelligence / David Starzyk from about a million guest spots, making him one of the "Oh That Guy" guys

Best Quotes -
1. Liv: "Oh I'll just wait here…for you to pull up the car." Clive: "What am I? Driving Miss Crazy?"
2. Liv: "I am literally going through hell. Do you even care?" Ravi: "Okay, you've literally forgotten the meaning of the word literally."
3. Vaughn: "There's a reason why I'm not getting hitched, detective." Liv: "Because you can't legally marry your own reflection?" Vaughn: "Burn."
4. Ravi: "Look, you and Peyton have been best friends since college. You just don't casually walk away from that. I bet she'll want to be back in your life. Maybe not right away, but eventually and when she does, I hope you've left the door open."
5. Major: "Don't worry. I'm on it. I crossed another name off this morning." Gilda: "Not a zombie." Major: "Not a zombie. Just a normal human being. I'm allowed to NOT kill those, right?"

Life in Pieces - 1.05 - Babe Secret Phone Germs

At first I wasn't sure about the way Life in Pieces is blocked into 4 separate stories. Now I really like it because I always know if a segment isn't for me, it will be over quickly. That was great news for this one because I couldn't stand 2 segments, ½ of another one, and really loved the second. The whole boob thing in the first was juvenile and completely unfunny. Way to make your entire family look like psycho imbeciles. I am also not a fan of shows where kids brat their way into getting what they want so the third segment made me want to Gibbs' slap everyone except Joan. She rocked this one. I'd thumbs up Heather too but their whole family was obnoxious about their phones. Nothing Sophia did was any different than the others. Thank goodness, there was Colleen and Matt's story this time. I thought it was sweet but foolish of Matt to quit his job so they didn't have to sneak around. Here's hoping it doesn't come back to bite him but at least the obnoxious co-worker is out of the picture.

Grade: C+

Best Reason to Watch - Colleen and Matt in this one
Best Scene - Joan gives Heather advice on how to deal with your kids growing up
Best Consequences - John has to take Sophia's phone away
Best Product Placement - Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Least Surprising - skunk in the house
Most Romantic / Least Thought Out - Matt quits his job so he can date Colleen
Most Obnoxious - Will, the co-worker
Most Manipulative - Sophia, who cons John into buying her a phone
Worst Family Meeting EVER - Tyler's well-endowed new girlfriend meets the family and they are all distracted by her boobs
The "Sad but True" Award - Families are so busy on their phones that they can't even have a conversation while eating a meal together. Sometimes I hate this century.

Best Quotes -
1. Heather: "Where's his starter girlfriend? You know, the freckly faced nerd that he's supposed to hold hands with and make mixed tapes for." Jen: "I don't know. He went straight for the 'I Sold an App' girlfriend."
2. Greg: "It's happening, isn't it?" Jen: "Yeah." Greg: "We're the crazy parents." Jen: "Yeah, but our baby's gonna live forever." Greg: "She'll be like the Highlander."
3. Greg: "Wow! She is….not as pretty as you are. Nope, not by a mile." Jen: "You really stuck the landing there."
4. Heather: "I'm not ready for this." Joan: "You never will be so you do what I did. You let the first 2 go and you baby the third one until you die." Jen: "Do us all a favor and don't do that."
5. Pest Control Guy: "I've got 9 kids. All boys and girls."

Limitless - 1.05 - Personality Crisis

This is a great example of a bad beginning giving way to a great ending. The first 10 minutes of this episode drove me nuts because it was largely recapitation and filler. It was slow and boring. Then they sent Brian in to talk with the kid and everything picked up. By the time the episode was ¾ done, I didn't even care that there was still too much filler. That ending monologue might be my favorite part of the series thus far. I like how Brian realizes that not only does his intellect switch on NZT but his whole personality does too. Maybe that's what Morra's problem is. NZT has burned out his compassion and humanity. I like that Brian is taking steps to stay human and the very best version of himself. Watching him humble his NZT side was magnificent and makes me want to see more of his character. What a difference a couple of episodes have made. I'm totally Team Normal Brian now.

Grade: B (A- for everything after the first 10 minutes)

Best Reason to Watch / Most Improved - Brian has come a long way in only 2 episodes. This is a character I can really get behind.
Best Scene - the ending monologue
Best NZT Skill (after total recall of course) - 2 keyboard typing
Biggest Awww Moment - Brian learns that Chris died
Biggest Surprise - Harris and Rooks are together / Brian shares what he knows to Harris this early
Biggest Huh? - Why are they giving Brian NZT before his training? Wouldn't it make more sense for him to train as his everyday self?
Most Bizarre / Biggest Filler - The claymation recap for zero reason and the montage of clay death afterwards. Did this episode not have enough context that they wasted the first 5 minutes? Following with Brian's bladder and martial arts no know-how, didn't help either.
Crummiest Break - the kid got shot in the process and died
Worst Security - writing the password code on the door jamb
The "Welcome Back" Award - Derek Goh from Eye Candy

Best Quotes -
1. Regular Brian: "Just because you remember everything doesn't mean you know everything. We are not omniscient or today would have gone very differently and if putting myself first means being okay with what happened to Chris Garber, then I'm not playing. I mean you tell me I've got to be ruthless to survive but if that means killing the part of myself that makes being alive worthwhile, that is not how I'm getting through this. That is not how we’re getting through this so deal with it. You don't have a choice really because by the time I take my next pill, the damage is already going to be done."
2. Brian: "I can be really annoying when I'm not on NZT." Ike: "We've noticed."
3. Brian: "The worst part of this job is learning about things you never knew you needed to worry about. For instance, weapons of mass disruption. Sounds like a really bad band name."
4. NZT Brian: "You know what happens in Supermax prison? Probably not death by giant boot. Of course if Mr. Sands finds out that you told your FBI BFF about the secret mission he gave you, you will be praying for death by giant boot."
5. Brian: "And if Bruce Lee taught me anything, it's that I needed to unlearn everything."

Quantico - 1.04 - Kill

This was a decent episode of Quantico for me. I loved all things Shelby and Alex. Whether they are sparring or having heartfelt conversations, these two made the episode. I especially like how Shelby is worried about Alex's mental state when they are going into the training exercises. Pulling Booth in made a lot of sense too, given that she doesn't know he's a spy. I also enjoyed Shaw coming clean on her son's arrest and future parole to Nimah. It was a smart play to inspire Nimah to come back and fulfill Shaw's plans for her. However, the overall story is starting to unravel fast. Why have they been trying to frame Alex since she first got to Quantico? At first it seemed like they were going to frame any of a number of people, but now it feels like they specifically targeted Alex. If so, what makes her the best candidate? Is it about her father? Why do they suddenly want to kill her? It feels like we're getting all the wrong answers, piling on even more questions, and twirling in circles instead of getting anywhere, which always makes me nervous in a highly serialized show. (Thanks, Chris Carter for my utter lack of TV faith.) Still, the characters have grabbed my attention and there's always at least one good twist involved so I can't wait to see where this ends up. Here's hoping the writers know exactly where that is.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - the relationship between Alex and Shelby and watching Alex own killing her dad
Best Scene - Alex and Shelby get real with each other
Best Job - fake employee in FBI training neighborhood
Best Back Story - Shaw's son's back story and how much it hurts her
Best Twist - Shaw knows O'Connor is conniving behind her back
Best Action - Shelby vs. Alex in her house
Best Roommate - Shelby
Biggest Awww Moment - Shaw tells Nimah about how she hopes her son does NOT get parole
Biggest Huh? - Why do they want their best trainee to wash out? Were they planning on framing her and using her washing out as an excuse for the bombing? This makes no sense to me.
Biggest Douche - Natalie, who needs to work on her people skills big time because always having something to prove makes life exhausting
Biggest Question - What secret about Shelby's parents did Alex uncover?
Worst Plan? - deciding to shoot first and ask questions never with Alex only works as a plan if the person who gave it is actually behind the attack
Most Creepy - Elias, who started flirting with Simon and is now stalking him in the creepiest creepster way possible
Least Surprising - Alex hasn't had any friends before Quantico
Scariest Decorating - Who has an abstract of a gun on their wall?
The "Say What?" Award - Shelby's house doesn't have an alarm system? That seems odd.

Best Quotes -
1. Shaw: "Don't let your guilt re-write history."
2. Caleb: "When did Harry Potter become James Bond?"
3. Natalie: "This ain't shooting skeet at the country club. This is the real deal and I've got the battle scars to prove I'm up for it." Shelby: "No scars on me. I guess that means I'm more qualified."
4. Caleb: "Wow, you're like a boss at this thing." Shelby: "Wait. My life is in your hands?" Caleb: "Calm down, Blake Lively. I'll make sure you don't chip your French tips." Shelby: "You are lucky you're an analyst because you have friendly fire written all over you."
5. Caleb: "I guess now that you're here, you're probably gonna report me." Shelby: "I'll only report you if you can't keep up."

Scorpion - 2.05 - Super Fun Guys

This was one rollercoaster of a episode, chock full of utter nonsense but still fun. Yeah Scorpion is often a leave your brain at the door type of show but I don't think there's ever been an episode that made less sense than this one. They shot a nuclear missile into a mine in a foreign country for goodness sakes. There ought to be some consequences. Still the character development, particularly with Sylvester, was fantastic. I loved how he is confident enough to say he's not doing something now and especially to say it to Walter. Speaking of, I'm loving the changes in Walter too. He's not near as annoying as season 1 and that's a great change. In fact, it's #1 on my wish list. Nice to see that a fun show like Scorpion can get even better.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - the fast pace combined with sweet Sylvester moments
Worst Reason to Watch - not a single ounce of realism is in this episode at all
Worst Spelling - Ray
Worst Plumber - definitely Ray
Worst Mix-Up -Ray confused the National Association of Theater Owners with NATO
Best Scene - tie - both of the times Sylvester was there for Megan
Best Awww Moment - Megan asks Sylvester to be there for her when she wakes up from her procedure
Best Plan - Sylvester suggests that they dress up in costume to get through
Best Reaction - Sylvester to it being the Super Fun Guy movie (both times)
Best Reference - Jesse Owens
Best Pep Talk - Ray talks Sylvester onto Happy's motorcycle
Biggest Pervert - Toby and his innuendo
Biggest Fortune Cookie - Ray and his advice
Biggest Rip-Off - this whole plot sounds like Argo
Most Improved - Toby as a boxer
Most Depressing - superheroes can never be happy or fulfilled according to Sylvester
Most Embarrassing - everyone one in costume
Most Likely to be Confused with AC/DC - love the schoolboy costume Cabe is wearing
Most Convenient - a hatch that just happens to go to the missile and doesn't have anything big impeding it
Sweetest Gift - Toby gives Happy a toy motorcycle for her dollhouse / Walter gives Sylvester a Super Fun Guy costume
Strangest Musical Interlude / Biggest Ear Worm - Mambo #5 by Lou Bega
The "Say What?" Award - They just set off a nuclear weapon in a foreign country. Hmmmm. Yeah.
The "Yeah, I Don't Think So" Award - My grandparents lived in farm country so the first thing we learned was not to mess around in silos or anything filled with corn because you go under like quicksand and can drown in it. Unless there was a lot less sand in those towers than it looked like, Happy would have sunk to the bottom the second she landed. It certainly would not be compact enough for her to stand on the sand.
The "Sucks to be Good at Your Job" Award - Happy gets the worst position because she's the most qualified
The "Got to Agree" Award - I'm with Walter about comic books

Best Quotes -
1. Happy: "You're not part of Scorpion." Ray: "But I live here." Happy: "So does a possum in the rafters."
2. Walter: "I want Homeland to double our fee. I feel absurd. I don't like feeling absurd." Sylvester: "I can't believe I'm not there with you." Terrorist: "I can't believe I got caught by you people."
3. Walter: "What is our goal?" Cabe: "We need to get to the nuke." Walter: "Right. Okay and what's our obstacle?" Toby: "Guaranteed death from Eastern Bloc mobsters."
4. Ray: "Now get on." Sylvester: "What? On Happy's organ donation machine?" Ray: "You want to stop feeling powerless. You want to be a hero like your pals are being right now. Then this is your moment, Big Fella. Seize it like a superhero would."
5. Toby: "Settle down, Beavis. I doubt anyone cares what nerd burg Super Dork Guy hails from."

Stitchers - 1.11 - When Darkness Falls

Stitchers was one of the few shows I watched all the way through over the summer. It started off rough but then I really liked it. The characters grew on me and it had a great twist to the standard procedural with a nice overarching story. Kind of a Flatliners meets Monk thing that I urge people to try. This episode though feels like we're missing a few. Considering that when we last left off both Cameron and Fisher were dying, it's a bit disconcerting that they are alive and well in this one with nary a word hinted at their oh so precarious situations. I get time jump. I don't get unresolved cliffhanger. Therefore I think they are shuffling episodes out of order so this Halloween themed one isn't shown in November. Nice planning, ABC Family or whatever you're going to be calling yourself next year. Thanks for the banners running across my screen to announce that by the way. Other than the episode mixing, this was a good return for Stitchers. I love that Kirsten is getting more human by the episode and the gentle scares were ripe for the season. Yes, the murderer makes no sense and the plot is paper thin, but it was good to have these characters interacting on my screen again and to get back to the Stitcher program.

Grade: B

Best Reason to Watch - Kirsten actually shows emotional growth
Best Scene - Kirsten outsmarts the bad guy
Best Use of the 20th Century - cell phones as flashlights
Best Guess - Fisher figures out what Linus is supposed to be for Halloween
Least Surprising - Devon was the good guy and his evil twin is the kidnapper
Biggest Surprise - Kirsten does feelings
Biggest Horror Trope - black cat freak out
Biggest WTH - How did the police miss that Devon had a twin?
Most Interesting Costume - pregnant zombie
Worst Way to Wake Up - with a big old kitchen knife in front of your face
Worst Guest - Kirsten comes in, eats Cameron's food, drinks straight out of the milk carton, and then takes his bed and kicks him to the couch without even asking
Cheesiest Line - Kirsten: "You're my ghost." Gavin: "No, I'm your nightmare."
The "Wait a Minute" Award - Are we not going to talk about the fact that Cameron was dead when we left off in the last episode? Are we not even going to discuss the fact that Fisher was shot and in critical condition? What the heck, show! I call foul on that play.
The "That a Girl" Award - Kirsten may be seeing ghosts and she brought the iron poker out to swing at it. The Winchesters would be proud.

Best Quotes -
1. Cameron: "No one's out here." Camille: "He was. I just saw him." Cameron: "Okay how about we put the knife away, Jason?"
2. Linus: "Did you guys know that the term 'selfie' was invented by an Australian?" Camille: "And did you know that the term 'Who Cares?' was invented to describe this conversation?"
3. Camille (talking about candy corn): "What do you have against corn?" Cameron: "Uh corn of the cob, nothing. Corn tortillas, bring it. Popcorn, corn chowder, corn muffins - I'm all over that, but pretend corn trying to be corn…pass." Camille: "Read the first ingredient." Cameron: "Corn syrup." Camille: "Thank you."
4. Cameron: "A girl is missing. You can't throw a party where the kidnapper lived." Camille: "Because?" Cameron: "Because it's wrong on every level." Camille: "I think there's a grey area where it's a wee bit right."
5. Camille: "Missing girl, possibly murdered. Happy Halloween."

Supernatural - 11.03 - The Bad Seed

Too much time spent on angels and way too much time searching for Metatron. Can't we just pretend he doesn't exist and move on? I still like Rowena but she's becoming this season's Bela and I liked Bela better. Amara started out interesting but there's only so many times someone can demand to be fed. Best part of the episode was the brothers talking in tandem, secrets are out, and Crowley. I can never get enough Crowley.

Grade: C+

Best Reason to Watch - Jensen did a fine job directing it
Best Scene - angel and demon grouse at a bar together
Best Moments - times when the brothers speak in tandem
Best Flashback to Early Seasons - woman listening to music while about to be attacked in an alley reminds me of the opening scene of Shadows
Worst Get-Up - Dean's tourist costume, although it made me laugh
Worst Name Ever - mega coven
Worst Idea Ever - involving Metatron in anything because then he appears on my screen again
Smartest Plan - Rowena NOT keeping the codex and book together
Most Likely to Bite the Hand that Feeds Her - Amara, who has "rabid dog biting through the leash" written all over her
The "Isn't This the Start of a Really Bad Joke?" Award - an angel and a demon walk into a bar
The "Welcome Back" Award - Tasya Teles, who was Echo on The 100
The "Recycle, Rinse, Repeat" Award - Lane Edwards is in Dark Side of the Moon too

Best Quotes -
1. Claudette: "You can't do this. I have rights." Dean: "And I have a fake badge."
2. Minion: "She looks at me like she wants to eat me." Crowley: "She wants to eat everyone. Don't take it personally."
3. Dean: "Listen, before you finish what you're about to say, know that we are the only thing between you and Crowley's ninjas." Claudette: "But I didn't try to hurt him. I am a nobody. I'm worse than nobody. I'm nobody's third cousin who doesn't even get invited to dinner."
4. Dean: "Why isn't he answering the phone?" Sam: "Because he's a d** and that's not breaking news."
5. Magda: "Well we were being burned or hung by the thousands." Claudette: "It put a lid on our enthusiasm."
6. Rowena: "What new hell has Dean Winchester unleashed upon the world?"

Other Shows

TBBT - 9.04 - The 2003 Approximation
Grade: B-
~I really don't agree with Penny and Leonard putting their life on hold for Sheldon. This could be a good growth opportunity for the character. However, and I'm not sure how, that Thor and Dr. Jones song started to grow on me.

The Blacklist - 3.03 - Eli Matchett
Grade: B+
~Another great episode even if I already saw this case of the week on Leverage. I love that Tom's back even though I facepalmed when Lizzie called Ressler. She's smarter than that.

Code Black - 1.02 - We Plug Holes
Grade: B
~The awwww's keep coming as one patient's story is more touching than the next. This show is getting to my heart. Still loving the interaction between Rorish and Jesse.

Code Black - 1.03 - Pre-Existing Conditions
Grade: C+
~I wasn't feeling this episode as much as the first two and then they took a walk on the wild side and I started singing along. Also Rorish helping a mother grieve was pretty darn awesome and led way to the best acting of the night.

Fresh Off the Boat - 2.04 - The Fall Ball
Grade: B
~This wasn't as funny as usual but it had some great moments with Louis and Eddie. The character interaction between Jessica and her mother-in-law was fantastic as well. Plus it was good to see Honey again.

The Goldbergs -3.04 - I Caddyshacked the Pool
Grade: C+
~The moral of The Goldbergs these days seems to be the kids brat and everyone bends over backwards to give them what they want. That sucks. Points though for Murray's speech and Barry coming through for Erica.

Life in Pieces - 1.04 - Prison Baby Golf Picking
Grade: B-
~not as funny as other episodes but better than most comedies this week

NCIS - 13.05 - Lockdown
Grade: C+
~I'm a few seasons behind on NCIS so I have no idea who the new woman is. To be honest, I decided to watch this episode because Abbey was in trouble and those are usually my favorites. This time though, Abbey drove me nuts because she talked the entire time with armed gunmen right next to her. Way to stay silent, Abbey.

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, The 100, Grimm, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts The 100 "Red-Shirted", Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."

Monday, October 26, 2015

A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We'd love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.

Arrow -
1. Diggle: "It was my first chance for answers. My last chance." Oliver: "I'm sorry." Diggle: "Don't be, Oliver. This isn't your fault. It's mine. I should have trusted you. Told you about this forever ago" (Ben L)
2. Damien: "Miss Fayed hired you for one job. One. Against my objections and only because my associates are anxious to progress to phase three." Fayed: "We shouldn't talk about Genesis." Damien: "Don't lecture me about secrecy. Particularly on the same night that you were just compromised. On the same night that I lost good men in the name of protecting you." Fayed: "Damien..." Damien: "MR. DARKH!" (Bradley Adams)
3. Malcolm: "I really enjoy sparring with you, Nyssa." Nyssa: "I'm not sparring." Malcolm: "I know. That's what makes it so much fun." Nyssa: "You know I would show you no mercy given the opportunity." Malcolm: "That's why I take great care not to give you the opportunity." (Bradley Adams)

TBE -
1. Wilkin: "My name is Wilkin Brattle. I was a knight in Longshanks army. Ventris was my commander; he sent me and my legion to an ambush of certain death. I was spared by a miracle and fled to your land, only to be roused again in blood." (Robert Fruin)
2. Wilkin: "I'm sorry I lied to you Lady Love. My time with you...it was worth the punishment I'm about to receive." (Robert Fruin)
3. Father Ruskin: "With every new piece of truth, I grow more bewildered, good woman." (Robert Fruin)
4. Lady Love: "I know the burden of your soul. I recognize it as my own. I don't know if what I feel for you is God's will or the work of a clever demon. But, I am certain, Wilkin Brattle, that whatever the case may be, it is the thing for which I've been waiting. It is the other girl I hear in my heart. The other life that lives in the shadow of my own." (Robert Fruin)

TBBT -
1. Amy: "Well I was hoping the next person I dated would be a little less like Sheldon." Bernadette: "You mean not a scientist?" Penny: "I think she means not a weirdo."
2. Sheldon: "Excuse me, Barry." Barry: "Yes." Sheldon: "When can I stab one of my friends?" Barry: "In fencing we don't call it a stab. We call it a touch." Sheldon: "Uh yes, I'm aware but if I say I want to touch one of my friends, I'll get called into Human Resources."
3. Howard: "My name is Darth Vader. I am your father. Prepare to die."

Blindspot -
1. Weller: "You've been through so much. If I'm making this harder for you, then just tell me 'cause that's the last thing that I want. All these expectations…I should never have put you in that situation." Jane: "Kurt..." Weller: "I should never have let them take you. I'm sorry." Jane: "It wasn't your fault." Weller: "I've heard that my whole life." Jane: "But you haven't heard it from me. It wasn't your fault."
2. Jane: "I thought we were all on the same team." Carter: "Oh, now that is adorable."
3. Mayfair: "Smugglers have been moving cesium out of Abkhazia, selling it to terrorists on the black market." Reade: "Apparently in leaky containers."

Brooklyn 99 -
1. Charles: "You're looking a little fat." Terry: "How dare you. You can't comment on my body, this is a workplace! Now I'm feeling objectified by your male gaze!" Charles: "Please, just listen, sir." Terry: "I will not listen! You are trying to shame me and that will not fly!" (Nirat Anop)
2. Jake: "Looks like we both have a pretty bad case of "jerk boss." " Holt: "Yes, yours is an idiot, and mine is a forked-tongue lizard witch." (Nirat Anop)
3. The Vulture: "Why don't we make like Boyle's mom and debrief me." (Nirat Anop)

The Blacklist -
1. Red: "Yes, hello. I need an ambulance. A man's dying on a cross." (Jimmy Ryan)
2. Red: "What is your fantasy?" Liz: "It's been the same thing for as long as I can remember. I'm walking in a park with my husband. In between us is our little girl. I'm holding her hand in mine, and I never let go." (Daniel van der Veer)
3. Aram: "I'm so happy to see you." Liz: "Not many people are these days." Aram: "Okay, I probably shouldn't say this, but you look fantastic." (Daniel van der Veer)

Chicago Fire -
1. Herman - "Lady, you can take that high and mighty attitude back to Portland. This is Chicago." (Toni)
2. Nesbitt - "I'm a protected federal informant." Voight - "No kidding? Now get your ass up against that truck." (Toni)
3. Voight - "You know how you drown a rat, Jack? You just toss his dumbass out in the deep end and wait for him to sink." (Toni)
4. Herman - "For the love of God, will somebody get over here and arrest this moron?" (Toni)
5. Brett - "Doesn't she know what clear means?" (Toni)

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend -
1. Rebecca: "What's up with your resting Maggie Smith face?"
2. Valencia: "Do all people who go to Harvard say it as much as you do?" Rebecca: "Yeah."
3. Rebecca: "Hey I didn't move here for him, remember? I moved here because I needed a change and Josh just happens to be here. Get it straight." Paula: "Oh are we still doing that?"

Criminal Minds -
1. Reid voice over: “All sins tend to be addictive and the terminal point of addiction is damnation. W.H. Auden.” (Emma)
2. Hotch: “Six years ago, a restaurant in Las Vegas, New Mexico was robbed.” Ben: “There’s another Vegas? Hey, they got gamblin’ and hookers out there too?” (Emma)
3. Lewis: “And what that means, is that after you finish serving out your remaining 20 years here, you’ll be transferred to New Mexico. Now the good news is they’ve outlawed the death penalty but the bad news is it’s gonna be a slow death in a cage.” (Emma)

CSI: Cyber -
1. Elijah: "When two men have a problem, they talk about it. More often than not, that problem goes away."
2. Avery: "You're not racist. You're a coward. This isn't about science. This is about vengeance because you hate your brother."
3. Krumitz: "Don't plug your charger in until you know where it's been."
4. Nelson: "Oh don't worry, Krummy. You'll figure it out. Big-boned friend once said that if necessity is the mother of invention, then perseverance is definitely is the father."

Empire -
1. Cookie: "Oh, mention the devil name and he will walk right in." Jamal: "God help us all." (Nirat Anop)
2. Andre: "I'm not a good person ma." Cookie: "Stop saying stuff like that, stupid." Andre: "I've done horrible things." Cookie: "So have I, Dre. But we are good people. You wouldn't be here trying to make it right if you weren't. God knows your heart." (Nirat Anop)
3. Cookie: "So is he coming'?" Jamal: "Nah." Cookie: "It's probably for the best. That devil walk in here, this whole place might catch fire." (Nirat Anop)

Fargo -
1. Mike: "“Isn’t that a minor miracle, in the state of the world today, in the level of conflict and misunderstanding, that two men could stand on a lonely road in winter and talk, calmly and rationally. While all around them, people were losing their minds." (Nirat Anop)
2. Floyd: "Your time will come. It will. But this isn't it. And if you stand by me now, I promise you that as soon as this crisis is over, I'll hand you your legacy and I'll turn my thoughts to the grave." (Nirat Anop)
3. Floyd: "Your grandfather left the ashes of the Weimar republic and came to this country to build a name for himself. He built an empire from a shoeshine box. And then, and only then, did he send for your father." Dodd: "Ma, I know the story." Floyd: "No, you don't. Because if you did, you'd know that you are just a small part of it. That's what an empire is: it's bigger than any son. Or daughter." (Nirat Anop)
4. Molly: "What's that?" Lou: "Oh, Mama's doing Daddy's job again." Molly: "Go Mama!" (Nirat Anop)

The Flash -
1. Jay: "Ahhh. It's good to know whatever Earth you go to there's a Big Belly Burger." (Nirat Anop)
2. Caitlin: "Being a superhero isn't always about how fast you can run, it's about helping however you can, wherever you're needed most. I think Jay Garrick, physicist, has just as much to contribute as Jay Garrick, superhero. Maybe more." (Nirat Anop and Dahne)
3. Captain Cold: "You know what they say, live fast, die young." (Nirat Anop)
4. Patty: "I thought I stepped on an ear. I didn't. If I did I'd be hearing things." Joe: "Oh hell, no." (Prpleight and Dahne)
5. Joe: "I know. I should have told you sooner but I couldn't figure out the right way. And the mother you thought you remembered, the perfect mother, the stories I made up for you, that is the mother you deserve and I knew Francine couldn't be like that. She would only break your heart. I'm so sorry." Iris: "Dad, it's okay. I understand. You were just trying to keep me safe." (Dahne)
6. Cisco: "How do you feel?" Lisa: "Like we should have put down some plastic." ~This quote made me laugh since Cisco is basically trying something that could potentially blow Lisa's head off. Humor in the face of death is a win for me. (Dahne)
7. Lewis: "Okay son, make me proud." Cold: "Like I care." ~This one was all in the delivery. (Dahne)

The Goldbergs -
1. Announcer: "In life, there are certain relationships that define who you are - your first teen crush, your best friend, your family. These are the relationships that matter the most but they're also the hardest because when you truly love someone, you sometimes hold on too tight, afraid that you'll lose them. But the truth is when you give the people you love most just a little space, you'll find the place they really want to be is right at your side."
2. Bill: "Your son walks his own path. I see what Lainey sees in him." Murray: "I don't."
3. Beverly: "Bill, you don't have a woman in your life telling you all the things you do that are wrong and stupid. I will be that woman." Bill: "Actually, I really haven't missed that very much."

Grandfathered -
1. Kid: "Are you the bathroom lady?" Annelise: "I used to be so much more."
2. Jimmy: "Gerald, I've hosted Mariah Carey's 40th birthday party for the last 5 years. I think I can throw a party for a 2 year old who's not even famous."
3. Jimmy: "Annelise, I need you to throw me a party." Annelise: "Now? I'm visiting my grandmother's grave." Jimmy: "Is she going somewhere?"
4. Frederick: "Wow, that's a lot of complicated stuff for a kid's party."

Grey's Anatomy -
1. Meredith: "Isn't that right, Penny?" (about where she used to work) Penny: "That's.....(struggles to talk) That's right." Meredith: "Perfect Penny killed my husband." (Ben L)
2. Meredith: "I did nothing to you. I lost my husband and the father of my children, and you're falling apart? I don't get to do that, because I have three kids. So please shut up, and get out of my room!" (Nirat Anop)
3. Bailey: "Dr. Robbins, you're drunk. I don't think I've ever seen that. I like drunk Robbins." (Nirat Anop)

Hawaii 5-0 -
1. Steve: "Okay, well the father lied about the protection money. What else did he lie about?" Danny: "You keep asking me questions I don't know the answer to. Then you get upset when I don't -" Steve: "No, it's rhetorical! This is how we figure things out!" Danny: "Well, if it's rhetorical, then I don't really need to speak." Steve: "You know what? Enough." (Laura Markus)
2. Kono: "Feeling the burn, Danny?" Danny: "No, I'm tasting the burn. Remind me to never eat breakfast tacos before a five mile run." (Laura Markus)
3. Chin: "HBD paid him [the suspect] a visit at the hardware store where he works, but he didn't show up this morning." Danny: "Well, that's 'cause you get the day off after you kill somebody."﻿ (Laura Markus)
4. McGarret: "Iceman, like from Top Gun?" Biker: "What’s Top Gun?" McGarret: "Did he say what’s Top Gun? I should arrest him just for that." Chin: "Where do we find Iceman?" Biker: "Couldn’t tell you. I don’t even know his real name." Chin: "That’s convenient." Biker: "This ain’t the Shriner’s Club, okay. We don’t have business cards." McGarret: "You know what the Shriner Club is but you’ve never seen Top Gun?" (Prpleight)
5. Danny: "I hate the way you drive. I hate the way you look when you drive. I hate everything about your driving." (Prpleight)
6. Chin: "808 Road Warriors are a collective of stunt riders. They use social media to organize flash mob style events where they shut down traffic and perform their tricks. They have no respect drivers, pedestrians, or clearly the law." Lou: "Yeah I get it cause riding that motorcycle like a normal person isn’t dangerous enough." (Prpleight)

Heroes Reborn -
1. Luke (leaving a message on Joanne's phone): "Hi, honey. This is your loving husband. You know, the one you nearly shot in the face." (Laura Markus)
2. Quentin: "So, are you like a cosplayer? Or, do you do LARPing? [...] She's definitely not a LARPer." (Laura Markus)
3. Malina: "Well, if you're not gonna eat, you can at least tell me why you tried to kill yourself." Luke: "I used to believe in something. I had a purpose, a reason for living. But then I lost it. I was just looking for a sign." Malina: "I'm looking for something too. Someone, actually. 7 billion people in the world - and I'm supposed to find one of them. Crazy, huh?" (Laura Markus)

Homeland -
1. Quinn (to the kid): "Shut the f** up." (Bradley Adams)

How to Get Away with Murder -
1. Annalise: "I caught Wes and Nate together last night." Frank: "Screwing?" (Daniel van der Veer)
2.Annalise: "You want to know the truth? Asher was going to testify against everyone in this house, so Bonnie told him that she killed Sam in order to save your a**! Because that's what we do around here. Ruin everyone's lives to save yours. Nate's, mine and now Bonnie's. Who's next, huh? Whose life do you want to destroy to stay free?" Michaela: "Why didn't you just tell us?" Annalise: "Because I'm trying to protect you like always. When are you gonna finally accept that?" (Daniel van der Veer and Dahne)
3. Laurel: "You know who hasn't seemed worried this whole time? Who keeps sneaking off?" Michaela: "He's the only one she really trusts. He knew what was going on all along." Connor: "Screw the puppy. He's a snake." (Daniel van der Veer)
4. Frank: "Where are you going?" Annalise: "To kick some a**." (Laura Markus and Dahne)
5. Connor: "I might be going to jail." Oliver: "Very funny." Connor: "I'm not kidding. [...] Just know that, meeting you, and everything that we have...it's everything. I mean, you mean everything. I love you, Ollie." (Laura Markus)
6. Annalise: "You don't think I don't notice what's happening here? Day drinking? Acting out against me? I miss that man I first gave that trophy to." (Laura Markus)
7. Oliver: "Hey, do you think Annalise would ever pay me? I mean I do all this work for her for free." Connor: "You don't want to work for Annalise." Michaela: "Trust your boyfriend on that one."
8. Asher: "Did you…you cut a deal for yourself, didn't you?" Dad: "Of course I did." Asher: "God, is there any part of you that thought that maybe I should just do this to protect my kid and not to protect myself?" Dad: "I'm protecting the both of us." Asher: "But mostly you, dad."

Life in Pieces -
1. Heather: "Where's his starter girlfriend? You know, the freckly faced nerd that he's supposed to hold hands with and make mixed tapes for." Jen: "I don't know. He went straight for the 'I Sold an App' girlfriend."
2. Greg: "It's happening, isn't it?" Jen: "Yeah." Greg: "We're the crazy parents." Jen: "Yeah, but our baby's gonna live forever." Greg: "She'll be like the Highlander."
3. Greg: "Wow! She is….not as pretty as you are. Nope, not by a mile." Jen: "You really stuck the landing there."

Limitless -
1. Brian: "So what do a cat, a spaceship and Jack Black have to do with terrorism?" Rebecca: "That’s Paul Revere." (Prpleight)
2. Sands: "Why is there a clay effigy of me on your coffee table?" (Prpleight and Dahne)
3. Regular Brian: "Just because you remember everything doesn't mean you know everything. We are not omniscient or today would have gone very differently and if putting myself first means being okay with what happened to Chris Garber, then I'm not playing. I mean you tell me I've got to be ruthless to survive but if that means killing the part of myself that makes being alive worthwhile, that is not how I'm getting through this. That is not how we’re getting through this so deal with it. You don't have a choice really because by the time I take my next pill, the damage is already going to be done."
4. Brian: "I can be really annoying when I'm not on NZT." Ike: "We've noticed."
5. Brian: "The worst part of this job is learning about things you never knew you needed to worry about. For instance, weapons of mass disruption. Sounds like a really bad band name."

Nashville -
1. Gunnar: “You all suck as wing men.” Will: “Well it’s pretty hard when you’re choking right out of the gate.” (Jessica VanWinkle)
2. Luke: “Don’t go around trying to play cool mom with someone else’s kid just because you’ve abandoned your own.” (Jessica VanWinkle)
3. Rayna: “If I didn’t work with people who had complicated lives there wouldn’t be anyone to make music with.” (Jessica VanWinkle)
4. Avery: “How the hell am I supposed to work with crazy?” (Jessica VanWinkle)

NCIS -
1. Abby: "Gibbs, this is Janice. She's my new friend. She helped saved the lives of the hostages. And you can arrest her now, cause she's working with the bad guys." (Daniel van der Veer)
2. Brown: "You have a fire starter kit in your heel?" Abby: "You don't?" (Daniel van der Veer)
3. McGee: "That's actually really interesting what he was doing." Tony: "Not really, McNerd. What is interesting is that the fact that his CO says he's been divorced three times, has no friends or family that still talks to him." Gibbs: "Yeah." (Daniel van der Veer)
4. Abby: "Gibbs is the answer. Gibbs is always the answer."
5. Abby: "If you take a life today, then you failed yesterday."

Once Upon a Time -
1. Regina: “These two can outlive a cockroach.” (Missions)
2. David: “You tried to trick me with a catchy title and a comfy chair.” (Missions)
3. Rumpelstiltskin: “Be careful. Love is a weapon, Deary. The most dangerous weapon of all which means the pain you should worry about isn’t the kind inflicted by a broken sword but the kind that comes from a broken heart.” (Missions)
4. Guinevere: “Stop trying to mend that sword or your marriage and your kingdom will be broken forever.” (Missions)

The Player -
1. Alex: "I forgot how much getting shot can hurt." Mr. Johnson: "It's been 6 days. A Band-Aid® and an aspirin should work." (Prpleight)
2. Alex: (after Cassandra notes that hacking into the Pentagon was impressive) "I was gonna say stupid but sure we can go with "impressive". (Prpleight)
3. Alex: "The bet’s over. I lost. I’m gonna take the rest of the day off; maybe go to the spa." (Prpleight)
4. Cassandra: "Looks like low tech went brilliantly." (Prpleight)
5. Solomon: "If you give me a gun it’ll double our chances of getting to the consulate alive." Alex: "Absolutely not." Solomon: "Why?" Alex: "Because firing a weapon at another human being is a choice you should never have to make."﻿ (Prpleight)

Quantico -
1. Shaw: "Don't let your guilt re-write history."
2. Caleb: "When did Harry Potter become James Bond."
3. Natalie: "This ain't shooting skeet at the country club. This is the real deal and I've got the battle scars to prove I'm up for it." Shelby: "No scars on me. I guess that means I'm more qualified."
4. Caleb: "Wow, you're like a boss at this thing." Shelby: "Wait. My life is in your hands?" Caleb: "I'm down, Blake Lively. I'll make sure you don't chip your French tips." Shelby: "You are lucky you're an analyst because you have friendly fire written all over you."

Scandal -
1. Andrew: "Weirdos! Focus!" (Jimmy Ryan)
2. Olivia: "So, I wish we'd never met. But we did. And I tried. I tried and failed. And tried and failed again to hide. To stop loving him. But I couldn't. I was weak. I hated myself. I wore this ring to remind me of my weakness. And when our affair was exposed, I had to follow my own advice and stand in my truth." (Nirat Anop)
3. Leo: "We're going to take what the public views as a cheap and tawdry affair between the President and his former communications director and we're going to spin it into the greatest love story ever told. Olivia and Fitz, a love like no other." (Nirat Anop)

Scorpion -
1. (After everyone steps out in Super Fun Guy costumes) Sylvester: "I can’t believe I’m not there with you." Hostage: "I can’t believe I got caught by you people." (Prpleight and Dahne)
2. Sylvester: "My name is Sylvester Dodd I’m work with Agent Cabe Gallo badge number 28355. I’m requesting an immediate extraction from a humanitarian mission in Kazakstan where they are there protecting civilians from illegal nuclear weapons." Receptionist: "We’re the National Association of Theatre Owners. You want the NATO on Pico." (Prpleight)
3. Happy: "You're not part of Scorpion." Ray: "But I live here." Happy: "So does a possum in the rafters."
4. Walter: "What is our goal?" Cabe: "We need to get to the nuke." Walter: "Right. Okay and what's our obstacle?" Toby: "Guaranteed death from Eastern Bloc mobsters."
5. Ray: "Now get on." Sylvester: "What? On Happy's organ donation machine?" Ray: "You want to stop feeling powerless. You want to be a hero like your pals are being right now. Then this is your moment, Big Fella. Seize it like a superhero would."

Stitchers -
1. Cameron: "No one's out here." Kirsten: "He was. I just saw him." Cameron: "Okay how about we put the knife away, Jason?"
2. Linus: "Did you guys know that the term 'selfie' was invented by an Australian?" Camille: "And did you know that the term 'Who Cares?' was invented to describe this conversation?"
3. Camille (talking about candy corn): "What do you have against corn?" Cameron: "Uh corn of the cob, nothing. Corn tortillas, bring it. Popcorn, corn chowder, corn muffins - I'm all over that, but pretend corn trying to be corn…pass." Camille: "Read the first ingredient." Cameron: "Corn syrup." Camille: "Thank you."

Supernatural -
1. Claudette: "You can't do this. I have rights." Dean: "And I have a fake badge."
2. Minion: "She looks at me like she wants to eat me." Crowley: "She wants to eat everyone. Don't take it personally."
3. Dean: "Listen, before you finish what you're about to say, know that we are the only thing between you and Crowley's ninjas." Claudette: "But I didn't try to hurt him. I am a nobody. I'm worse than nobody. I'm nobody's third cousin who doesn't even get invited to dinner."
4. Dean: "Why isn't he answering the phone?" Sam: "Because he's a d** and that's not breaking news."

The Walking Dead -
1. Carol (speaking to Sam): "Your dad used to hit you and then he got himself killed. It happened. Now, it's done. You live with it or it eats you up." (Ben L)
2. Carol: "It happened and now it's done. You live with it or it eats you up." (Nirat Anop)
3. Morgan: "You keep choosing this life, you will die." (Nirat Anop)

About the Author - Dahne

One part teacher librarian - one part avid TV fan, Dahne is a contributing writer for SpoilerTV, where she recaps, reviews, and/or creates polls for Teen Wolf, The 100, Grimm, How to Get Away with Murder, The Librarians, and others. She also runs the annual Character Cup. She's addicted to Twitter, live tweets a multitude of shows each week, and co-hosts The 100 "Red-Shirted", Sleepy Hollow "Headless" and Teen Wolf "Welcome to Beacon Hills" podcasts for Southgate Media Group. Currently she writes a Last Week in TV column for her blog and SpoilerTV. ~ "I speak TV."