Sex Toys, Tupperware Parties & Getting Your 50 Shades of Grey On

I’m a member of a book club, a women’s potluck group, and a “ladies club” where each month the host decides our activity (ex. bowling, wine tasting, clothes swap, etc). So I consider myself fairly covered in a planned girls night out. So I was totally unprepared, but awesomely surprised, when a friend threw me a surprise sex toy birthday party. It’s like the tupperware parties of our parents’ generation, except you are persuaded to buy vibrators, nipple toys and sex swings rather than cool tupperware. Our host gave a fun, revealing presentation and happily explained the latest in vibrators, lube, and also gave helpful tips for orgasm and arousal. I have to say – it was really fun. You definitely get to know your girlfriends better when you pass around an array of dildo’s and discuss which one you prefer.

This was pre “50 Shades of Grey”, but ever since Christian Grey introduced Anastastia Steele to his red room of pain, women are purchasing sex toys more than ever before. Thank you E.L . James? Luckily the people at Adam & Eve totally have you covered. Thanks guys!

I think it’s fair to say that women don’t often discuss the nitty-gritty details with each other. Wait, I take that back. Women talk about their love lives and sex in detail, but discussing vibrators and sex toys is often rare and vague at best. It tends to turn women into geishas, covering their mouths and giggling profusely.

Which is what was great about the sex toy party. With a representative to go through and explain each product, (and often her own personal experience with the products) our group of women really started to ask some revealing questions. All sorts of stories about size came up (sorry guys, it does), and then from greatest night of sex ever or worst experience ever are shared and laughed about. In the moment, awkward sex is horrible. But if it can be rehashed over wine, cheese and vibrator sales pitches, it’s hilarious.

Maybe the thing about the “50 Shades of Grey” phenomenon is that if women weren’t directly talking about kinky sex, sex toys, and what turned them on, they are were definitely into reading about it and making specific purchases. The night of my sex toy party (that sounds a little creepy, but it was pretty g-rated minus a row of vibrators on my friend’s coffee table), it was interesting to see what women were most interested in. I’d say every woman there was curious about the remote controlled vibrating panties. They are exactly what they sound like: a pair of panties with a built-in small vibrator. The remote control can be held by the woman or whomever she chooses to give it to (choose wisely ladies), and the remote activates the “10 pulse-pounding functions” from up to 80 feet away. There was something sexy yet naughty and a little dangerous about being completely out of control about what was happening in your panties to this group.

Surprisingly, women didn’t seem to want vibrators that looked like penises. Those big, fleshy-looking penis vibrators were off-putting to everyone at my sex toy party. Personally, they seem a little agressive. We all preferred pink or purple plastic items overly the big and fleshy. In my experience (I have since been to 2 sex toy parties) if the women wanted a penis, then an actual penis was in order. Otherwise, a smaller plastic, vibrator was the choice. Women aren’t really into fooling themselves that it’s the real thing. Then again, they are always selling them, so some women out there are.

If you are interested in a little something extra under the tree this year (you can go subtle or totally reenact entire bondage scenes from 50 Shades) but don’t want to have to been seen going to a sex shop, check out Adam&Eve, who brought you today’s article . And since it’s the season for giving, you’ll be happy to know that Adam&Eve are committed to public service. They actively donate to local charities, the Make-A-Wish Foundation, Relay for Life and the Special Olympics. In addition, their donations through DKT International provide funding for family planning and HIV/AIDS prevention around the world. Get off and help your community! It’s a win-win.

This post is brought to you by Adam&Eve. Adam & Eve is the largest provider of adult products for both men and women in the US, Adam & Eve is your smart choice. You can expect that we have taken every measure to provide you with the best in selection, quality, price, service, and information – giving you more time to ENJOY your purchase.

The Zeros Field Guide

The Ambiguously Gay Guy

A chameleon-like variety of man which causes confusion and frustration in prospective mates; this species tends toward cleanliness, vanity and an inexplicable love of footwear.

See: Ryan Seacrest

The Manslut

[masculus rakehellious]

A feral variety of the male species, known for copulating with a large variety of females. Indigenous to nightclubs, frat houses, and often found in close proximity to reflective surfaces, this nomad is frequently found in packs of other Mansluts. This animal uses its appearance and charms to lure its prey.

Synonyms: Gonorrhea Boy, Mario Lopez or Colin Farrell.

The Verbal Masturbator

[oralivis beat-offitum]

This species spends most of his time with others talking only about himself. Believing his every move is important and must be regaled, and do so, loudly and repeatedly, especially to the woman he believes so lucky to be his date. His unique hearing seems to only be able to discern accolades and the sound of his own voice above everything else.

The Dead Electrician

[disappearaveatum inexplicti]

A rare breed of males that after spending happy, fulfilling, seemingly normal times with a wonderful woman, disappears off the face of the earth and never calls again. Signs of dead electrician disappearing behavior come in coded messages such as ‘I’ll call you later,’ “Let’s make plans for this weekend,” or “I’ll call you Friday when I’m on my way over.”

The Cheapskate

[dutch-treaticus infinitum]

A variety of male that hordes its resources to the detriment of its mate.

The Mirage

[perfectus prevaricatum]

Projects the image of perfection, luring unsuspecting females to the parched dessert of disappointment and despair.

The Big Talker

[bullshitkus perfectus]

An intuitive form of chameleon, this breed can accurately access the needs of potential mates and will verbalize his intentions to meets these needs. He will meet none of these needs.

The “Nice” Guy

[politea blanditus or pleasantillum lacklustericium]

A common species of man that suffers from delusions of nicety as the reason of their inability to secure a mate. Have an inability to admit to their other characteristics such as needy, boring, insecure, socially awkward or bad in bed.

The Virtual Man

[texticus ad nauseus]

The species creates an impression of closeness called a Virtual Relationship through near constant indirect communication. This specifically modern species of man is known for poor grasp of spelling and grammar, and also known for expressing all feelings through emoticons. Anthropologists suspect this genus will, over time, develop engorged thumbs due to excessive texting and may die out do to no actual physical interactions.

The Little Friend

[minusculis shaftivitum]

A species known for their expensive modes of transport, they are endowed with a penis of inadequate size. While this alone does not make them an undesirable potential mate, it doesn’t help. Often this species will attempt to overcompensate their unfortunately small member with an unfortunately large ego.

The Jockstrap

[sporticus obssesum]

The specific male species so obsessed with a sport, their team, their fantasy football league, fantasy baseball league and sports center updates that they have little time for reproduction or even copulation. Experts recognize this species by the excess hot wing consumption and empty pizza boxes littering their female free abodes. Can often be heard from a distance yelling, screaming or cursing their beloved teams.

The Closeted Addict

[bacanalus coverti]

Known for his ability to ingest large amounts of questionable, and often illegal, substances, while giving little indication of this behavior.

Only Dates commented on The Fight Club Rules of Texting --
Haha, loved reading this post! Really funny.

theswexperts.com commented on Everything I’ve Learned From Watching the Last 10 Seasons of The Bachelor/Bachelorette --
I myself started watching it but it makes the contestants look really shallow and the Bachelor/Bachelorette look like a player just so get attention from the women/men.