Not a teetotaler, I guess

Should have stuck with the tea: Florida Congressman and tea party favorite Trey Radel pleaded guilty to cocaine possession in a Washington, D.C., court. During his hearing Radel blamed alcoholism for his “extremely irresponsible choice.”

Rep. Radel, R-Drunken Stupor, was so inebriated he apparently believed he was in Toronto.

Should we be concerned that the man said he’d repay his victims by creating small rectangular engravings of U.S. presidents?

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Worth every penny he paid for it: A Vancouver, Wash., man accused of firing a shotgun to scare off car prowlers is sticking by his “Joe Biden defense.” In February, Vice President Biden said Americans don’t need semi-automatic weapons because a couple of blasts into the air from a shotgun will scare off intruders. The man says he was simply following Biden’s advice.

You can now amend the old saying to read: “A man that represents himself in court, or takes advice from Joe Biden, has a fool for a client.”