i confess:i was not at my best Wednesday morning"stuff" was getting the best of me.Gratefully, i'd made plans to take a little field trip with a friendand worked hard as we drove togetherto let go of the dratted gnat-like bothers still buzzing in my head.

Our goal:to visit and ramble through a sunflower mazethe largest of its kind on the east coastand just a few miles from our town.

i've driven past very happy sunflower fields previous summersand have various types in my garden ever yearbut i've never before kept such intimate company with literally thousands of them

i could not stop smiling

and admiring the various other visitors that were out with us that day

a pollen drenched soldier beetle

The farmer has sown millions of seedsin successionso that there will be glorious heads to visit for several more weeksand nowwe can examine them in all their stagesfrom bud to heavy heads laden with ripening seeds

i do apologize, dear visitorand issue this alert:this post contains a rather lengthy moan and groan about the unforgivable weatherHowever, after i vent i do share some more positive thoughtsand a pleasant photo or two. If you don't wish to indulge my rantyou can jump down to the photo for a few, more positive thoughts.And now, the rant:

Yesterday, it was 109F in the parking lot of the movie theater when we came out at 2pm

it was 102F in the garden.

Outside, away from the unnatural "conditioned" airit is difficult to breatheshade offers no respite.Nights are long and restless

This is simply not natural for our region.It feels as though Hades has come, uninvitedplopped down with a greedy grinand is refusing to leave until it has sucked all of the life out of every living thing.

Standing in line at the deli i overheard a man say"I'd take a week of snow and ice over this awful stuff."i wanted to hug him.Given that he was a total strangeri resisted the urge and just gave him a grin and a nod instead.

i confess that i feel not one iota of sympathy for those who moan onlyin rain or snow--and thereby reveal their utter ignorance for the needsof the natural world around them.Yes, of course i empathize with those who feel trapped, or threatened living in a climate they dislike.But, i confess i find it difficult to voice my understanding when most are silentduring heat and drought.

i find the rote, endlessly chanted-from-every-outlet "sunshine = happiness" to be utterly foolish and distasteful.Those in this seemingly vast chorus are obviously blind and do not see the large tracts of dead maples, oaks, ash and other important native trees across the hillsides, fieldsand mountains of the entire northeast.Worse, if they do see them, they fail to comprehend the disaster those skeletons warn us of.News outlets never notice until conditions are desperate.This widely accepted blindness, or ignorance--or just plain silence while the sun shines relentlessly--hurts me. i try hard not to, but i'm afraid i take it personally.

i write a garden column for our local dailyand i do my best to learn what i need to know about all of thisand to share it. i've written frequentlytoo frequently over the past decadeabout my case of RSAD, "reverse seasonal affective disorder"and i posted this public service announcement/warning on Facebook for all those who live in my vicinity:DO NOT utter the words "isn't this gorgeous weather". We just might learn that looks can kill or maim.It was my attempt at a sour joke after i'd come in from the smothering heat.

Writing publically about my distaste for hot weather has given others permission to acknowledge their distaste for blistering summer heat.Last spring, when it rained and rained and rained some more nearly every week, for two months we smiled, knowingly when we ran into each other.A postal clerk whispered "I know most people walk around miserable, but I love this."When individuals stopped me to exclaim, "I can't believe how fabulous the roses were this year!"i explained, "It was the good snow pack over the past 2 winters--and all that rain."Most just stared backslack-jawincredulous. "You can't be serious" in their eyes.

It's bad enough that my body revolts in temperatures above 80F(i've experience one too many bouts of heat exhaustion in my attempts to "tough it out"when i was hired to design, install and maintain gardens)Even so, i could cope with being trapped indoors with the ac and fans running 24/7i could read, play in PhotoShop, and haul the hoses around in the early morning hourswhile Hades reignsif it weren't for the fact that this type of heat destroys so much of what i loveout there (including wildlife)where no one can irrigate.

Leaves from the beloved birch rain down as it attempts to protect itself from further loss of moisture. The running joke is that weather forecasters are always wrong, right??i surely hope so, because--contrary to popular assumptionsi've lost more trees, shrubs and "hardy" perennials to summer than any of the "harsh winters" that have come our way over the past 30+ years.

My heart leaped up when the dawn revealed an overcast skyto shield us, if only a few short hours from the harsh sun.

OK. ,nuf of that. For today.Thank you, dear visitor(if you are still with me)for listening and indulging me.i do feel better for having expressed these feelings...even if you left.Now...onto other things.

There are cheery blue chicory flowers in a sea of lovely grass ignored by the men with their terrible mowing machines

and tropical plants in potslike this Plumbago auriculata

The other very bright spot, The Moviethe final installment of the Harry Potter sagawas a very wonderful surprisedefinitely not the disappointment i had expected after seeing the very poor HP &DH part one.

i had determined that i would see the filmseven tho the previous 3 had been disappointing.It was my duty to sweet Jonthe nephew who is/was my best friendand who got me hooked on the books.An avid reader, the HP books were the only ones in thefantasy genre he ever liked.He had read them and listened to the audio versions several timesand was my source when i forgot details in books 4-6.He laughed in a scolding manner when, at first, i mixed upthe names Dumbledore and Gandalf.(Neither he nor i enjoy Tolkein. Sorry!)

While watching the boring HP & DH part 1i could hear him saying what i was thinking, too"that part of the book can only be read"and"Wow. They blew it at the end of the film. Hollow.Devoid of the wrenching feelings of awe at the loss of Dobby."

Part 2. Completely different experience.i was enthralled.It was a satisfying conclusion to Harry's saga. It's as if the filmmakers saved all of their heart for last.i was especially moved with the marvelous artistry in the rendering of that magnificent, tortured white dragon crawling up, up, up to his freedom,Snape's petronus, and the revelation of his true character, and, of course, Harry's final battle.

It was simply a heart-full.My sister, my nephew, my niece were all with me.Just like when i read the book.

Even tho the heat from Hades slapped us in the face as we opened the doors and left the theater to step out into blazing sunshine (me, my sister and friend)our full hearts carried us up and aboveall the rest of the day.

So often, people get things so very, very wrong.It felt so good to sit for 2.5 hourscarried away with people who got it right.

i play with the New Boy morning noon and night(Yes, he finally has a name. More on him later...when i can finally get a photo or 2. He is such a wiggle worm!)work and play endlessly in photoshopempty and refill the ice cube trays twice a daymake plans to go see a movie in the middle of tomorrow's heatand at nighti sit in front of the fanin the company of this new set of night lights.(Just in case there is a ruckus in the nighti really don't wish to smash a toe, racing to see what New Boy and Spike are up to)

The sun is a beast today.Thin clouds are doing their best to protect us.

in my next life i wish to be a bird or a catso that when the incompatible weather (heat) arrivesi could fly away

Oh! let me be a chimney swiftand live my life on the wingaway, away up so high

orlike the purring fur ball that lives herelet me sleep all daywake just long enough to stretch, eat a morsel, drink stretch, then sleep until it's gone.

If i must be humanthen let mewhen the suffocating heat arrivesflee to a perfect little houseon an island beach at the lip of a shallow harbor

where the thermometer rarely touches 80 degrees F

Come June, i dash in and quickly splash out of the little sea at my door step

and in July it is delicously chilly at first but only bracingand in August my dear friends come visit and we share breakfastthen body surf in blue green wavesand in September i spend every evening watching the sun drop past the horizon

and in October i come back to this home and the turning of the leaves.

ah, well. Finally, i can take a deep breath.Because, while i've been composing thisa stiff breeze has kicked upand clouds are thickeningand is that thunder i hear in the distance?!

Today, with heat smothering my facesingeing my nervesi did remember some important things:

i used to live where it was truly hot and many friends and family still do

i once dreamed of living here

and now, here i am.i can look out any of my windowsat the 1001 shades of greenand the blue sky and cotton white cloudsat the iris & peonies

allium & grasses and a the buds on a deutziaand the first roses

i will close my eyes and savor the sweet evening breeze on my sweaty faceand thank my guardian stars thati could flee that desert before i turned to dustand live and breathe, herein this big house with big windows full of trees and skyand in this garden.

i have the great good fortune of spending one weekend a monthat Greenwood GardensLabor Day weekend was my weekend this monthand when i arrived and saw the oleanders in floweri was drenched in a wave of nostalgiaremembering the row of oleanders that grew along the irrigation ditch across the street from my parent's house.

In our corner of the southwestthe oleanders were in flower by "Decoration Day"a.k.a. Memorial Dayand my father would harvest armfuls of the pink and white blossomsto place at his parents gravestones.

But they do not hold sad connotations for mejust the opposite:they are tough, resilient plantsplanted widely by "Go West, Young Man" pioneersin their new, desert communities.When i think of oleandersi remember the ditch that ran beneath their boughs.Being dry most of the time
the ditch became my secret hideaway
a place to escape the burning sun
and dream of greener, cooler lands.

i returned to Greenwood yesterdayto help with one of the "Open Days"i was stationed in the cool and breezy upper level of the stone teahouse
gratefully!Yesterday was, naturally, extremely hot and humidEvery visitor who came inside the little roomexclaimed at the marked difference in temperature.Every now and then i stepped outside, just to seewhat a difference a foot-thick wall of stone and mortar makes.

Sitting here this afternoona day latercompletely comfy in my cooled roomi took one of the other images of oleanderand messed about a bitthinking of silk scarves

This photograph is something i grabbed quickly a couple of weeks ago.It was the oddest sensation:It was late afternoon the gibbous moon shone weakly in the remains of a sultry-overcast skyi was indoorsone moment there was familiar soft summer light filling the windowsthe next moment snap your fingersit was sucked away just like that!Both of us hurried to the south facing windowsasking each other "What...?" as we met in the hallway.The sky was being swallowed by a massive black cloud sliding in from the west. i grabbed my cameraran outsideall the while trying to remember how fresh are the batteries in the flashlights?and feeling relieved that the pantry was in good shape.A curious, sickening excitement grabbed my stomacha terrible beautysomething fierce was on its way.

The cloud moved quicklyi had time for only a couple of shots of the glowing moonbefore it was goneand it was dark hours before night normally arrivesand the rain came.Amazingly, i learned from the television that the worst was south of usand any guilty thrill is washed away as i hear the announcers warnmore flooding for those folks is most likely coming their way.