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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Did you know that in WW2, the Allies didn’t win all the battles they fought?

Did you know that an estimated 60 million people died in that war? Not all of them were enemies…

Did you know that those soldiers who fought for freedom and for justice were most likely scared as they stepped off ships and planes onto enemy ground, not knowing if they were going to live another day?

Have you ever thought about the fact that many of those soldiers may have had a change of heart in the midst of these battles and, as they watched comrade after comrade die beside them, they probably at some point thought “this is too much, I can’t do this anymore”…yet they had to keep going because enemies were all around them and they didn’t have another option?

War is bloody and filled with unknown. It is harsh, cruel, crippling, and filled with fear. War is a gruesome thing that is hard for me, in my tiny sheltered existence, to fathom.

And I think about the fact that, despite the death, we won.

Despite the fear and the confusion, we won.

Despite losing the battles, we won the war.

Despite the fact that World War II was one of the bloodiest, most gruesome, traumatic events in history, we still won.

Despite the fear of not knowing what is ahead and the confusion of not understanding what happened before, He already won.

Despite losing some of the battles, He already won the war.

Despite that fact that the life we are living here on this earth may be filled with trauma and pain, tears and heartache, He has already won.

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." Jhn 16:33

“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it. 1Th 5:23-24

He doesn’t ask for perfection and He certainly doesn’t ask for us to do it on our own. The minute you recognize what filth needs to be dealt with or what way He is calling you…and look at Him and say “Lord, I can’t…” know that that is the moment where He will step in and say “I know…let Me.”

He wants our all.

We have nothing to give Him.

He knows that.

Do you?

“Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?” Psalm 56:3-4

Then, He asks for my heart. He asks us to allow Him to replace that taken thing. He asks for our attitude towards the situation to follow suit to our words of devotion to Him. I tell Him I will always love Him and then when He asks me to surrender the heart behind the “thing”…I hold and cling and grasp and don’t let go. And I tell Him:

“No, Lord. You’ve asked for too much. I can’t give you any more.”

And God says: “Trust me.”

The moments in my life where the Lord allows Job-like sifting are often the moments where I so badly want to blame God for the pain and the hurt. It’s in those moments that I feel alone, open, humbled (in a there-is-my-pride-staring-me-in-the-face kind of way) and distant. I want to feel those things, but I know I cant.

It’s in those times where I say: “Lord, I can’t do this. Why would you even ask this of me?”

Trust is such a hard thing for someone who has grown up being told to expect the worst from people. Trust is not part of the vocabulary of the fearful. Trust is a scary 5 letter word that is more easily forgotten than exercised simply because it is not understood.

Trust is what the Lord asks of us when He tells us that He wants our everything. Even our hearts. Even our memories. He wants it all and we have to trust that when we hand it over…He is going to deal well with it.

You are my family and you know what the Lord has asked of me recently. You are my friends and you have seen me as I grasp at the Lord frantically throughout it all.

I am your sister, daughter, friend, and fellow Christian and I can tell you that The Lord WILL perfect that which concerns me.

…because I know that His mercies endure forever.

because I know that He will not forsake the work of His hands. (Psalm 138:8)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

For the ladies in my life...I just want to thank you. I read this blog post (link above) and needed to share it. This one in particular resounded with me. I am thinking of so many women right now who have let me be real with them. Open up. Trust. Cry. Laugh.

Sandra: you will always be the one who is so sensitive to the Lord that I will never be able to hide what I am truly feeling: the Lord will use you to bring it out and lay it down.

Trista: you have a way of listening and caring that I hope I am able to portray to others around me. You feel so deeply and your interactions are so genuine.

Katie: the silent listener. Sometimes I think I have verbally puked on you one-too-many times. But even in the times when the communication hasn't been the greatest...I somehow knew you would always be there to listen.

Then there is Suzanne and Sarah Lush and Bethany and Robin and Tobi and Niki and Jinell and....as the list gets bigger, the more I realize how sweetly blessed I am to have women who LOVE the Lord in such a sweetly surrendered way that they are able to open their arms to a friend and sister and just hold on.

It overwhelms me just a little to truly sit and think of how much the Lord's love exudes from those around me. As it overflows from the Spirit within them, I can't help but be in the path of it's penetration. I can't resist the way the Lord chooses to love me through those around me who...care....listen....hear....pray....love.

Sometimes words aren't enough. But, since words are what I have right now...thank you.

Monday, March 1, 2010

There are moments when I sit and strive to think past what the Lord is showing me and understand it on some “higher” level.

In other words, sometimes I try to look past the sweetly quiet voice of my Lord: the One who encapsulates all wisdom, love, and understanding so that I can explain what I want to know in my own words and feel like I have succeeded something in my own strength.

What a crying shame that I, in my flesh, think that my words will be better than His.

The Lord tells us that His thoughts are higher than ours…the way that heaven is higher than the earth. Earth will NEVER be higher than heaven. It’s a common sense thought but…not necessarily one I am always willing to grasp. Because, if I admit that the earth will never be higher than the heavens, then I am admitting defeat.

Earth will never be heaven.

The heavens, by definition, speaks of a space above and surrounding the earth. Earth, by definition, speaks of a firmament that is encapsulated by the heavens.

Earth does not equal heaven. Heaven does not equal earth. Heaven and earth, by definition will never.be.the.same.thing.

But God’s ways will always be better than my ways. God’s thoughts will always encapsulate this broke sinner and His ways will always be greater for me than the ways that I choose.

As I admit defeat, I am laying down my ways, my thoughts, my plans, my life…I am admitting that MY thoughts are NOT His thoughts, and praising Him for it. I am submitting to the truth that MY ways are NOT His ways, and praising Him for it.

Victory.

My voice…my thoughts…my ways…are quieted in the presence of His still small voice showing me that He knows the plans that He has for me. If only i could sit…quietly…enough to hear His thoughts. Lord, I so desperately want to hear Your thoughts…