Bird Box

The Recap

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Ali says no, because she plans to have approximately 4909656 babies in the next 49 days and she shan't have time for stairs.

After Keryn realises she's not going to get any good goss out of this goddamn experience, she decides she likes Ali. She gives her a hug and then immediately runs to a computer to check the Daily Mail.

Todd tells Ali she makes him feel like he's in a fairytale and pls sir, you've made that mistake before...

Todd pls.

Next up is Taite's hometown in Ballarat.

Ali's excited because of his face... and also his body.

They briefly feed some ducks together because... Ballarat.

"And also his body"

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Ali meets Taite's mum, dad, and sister and his best friend who is definitely not in love with him.

Taite's best friend who is definitely not in love with him immediately takes Ali for a chat.

He speaks like Arnold Schwarzenegger from the early 90s for no apparent reason.

"I'LL BE BACK"

I like it.

Oooooh.

Taite's sister Skye has her collar popped and she's ready to start some shit.

Skye would like Ali to understand that going on a reality TV show to find love is silly and that she should try to find Instagram fame instead... just like her brother Taite.

It becomes immediately clear that Skye and Todd's sister Keryn need to get together for a few wines in front of the Daily Mail.

" I need to tell ma fren Keryn the gossip"

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Ali and Taite do a snuggle on the front step and she tries to get him to say some... words. Taite says he sees himself with Ali and she's happy with that because of his face... and also his body.

Oooooooh.

It's Bill's hometown and he has a very cute dog pls.

They sit in the dog park and Bill explains to Ali that his parents are overseas, so he's going to introduce her to a girl named Amy who he met in said dog park.

And that they're... they're... going to Amy's dad's house for dinner. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's very silly.

They arrive at Amy's dad's house and it becomes immediately clear that Amy is in love with Bill.

She met him back when he was David and stood by him when he decided he wanted to become Bill, and now she has to watch him hook up with some chick on TV who has no real understanding of how difficult his transition was.

Also, she'd like the gossip.

"Just nod if true"

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Outside, Ali tells Bill the night was very "telling". He nods and runs back inside to tell his best friend Amy all about it.

Sssssshhhhh.

It's Charlie's hometown and there's bound to be some doors involved.

After some unnecessary paddle boarding, Charlie tells Ali she won't be meeting his family.

You see, Charlie has a sneaking suspicion that Ali is seeing three other guys and that one of them is Bill. This isn't what he signed up for when he agreed to be on a dating show in which one woman dates multiple men at once.

He would like the other boiz to leave pls.

"IT AIN'T WORKING"

Charlie tells Ali she needs to go and think about whether she can be exclusive with him right now and it's obvious no one has explained the basic rules of this game to him.

PAUSE.

It's cocktail party time.

Ali finds Charlie acting unnecessarily dramatic in the backyard. She asks him whether he's realised he's being a dick or nah.

Charlie says in the real world what she's doing is called "unfaithful" but in here it's called "The Bachelorette" and it seems like he might have finally realised where he is.

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"I can't quite put my finger on it"

He then tells Ali not everything is a fairytale and that be the WRONG THING TO SAY.

There's some back and forth of Ali trying to explain the rules of the game to Charlie and Charlie not getting it.

Then Ali asks him to leave.

After pointin' at it for months, Charlie finally walks out the f*ckin' door.