Menu

A-Z Challenge day 6

After reading this: a womans advice for women: https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/23469581/posts/983850480

I started thinking about what makes a woman bitter and resentful like that. Obviously, something must have happened that made her feel that she had to write that letter.

She must have had not only one but plenty of bad experiences in her lifetime. But does that really justify these hatefilled lines? What was she hoping to accomplish? Was she only trying to get something of her chest? Or was it a cry for help, for somebody to notice what she has been through?

I guess we all have been hurt or humiliated at one time or another in our lives. We felt angry, sad, disappointed, broken maybe, we cried, raved, shouted, swore of men (or women) forever. And for a while, we didn´t want to trust anybody ever again. Depending on how much hurt we suffered, it took a while longer, but eventually we got over it. We might not go back to being friends but we get on with our live and hope that we find someone who treats us better.

But when it happens time and time again, that might change. We might start thinking that it is our own fault, that it is something we do, or that we are just not good enough to find a decent guy.

I believe that most people go for the same type of person over and over again, depending what they have seen in early life. Most girls go roughly for the same type of man as their father, unless they did´t grow up whith him for whatever reason. And depending if he was a good or a bad person, that reflects the type of man a woman will go for in later life.

I know that is not always accurate, but I have seen it in my own family and with friends and neighbours. And it is very hard to break the circle of violence and abuse if you are caught up in it. And I can only imagine what it must be like to be used as a punching-bag or being verbaly abused over and over again. Eventually it will break your spirit and you will end up bitter and angry and probably prefer to stay alone.

If that anger has no way to get out, it will poison you and you will never be able to heal. So no matter who you turn to, may it be a priest, a friend or a psychiatrist, you should fight to get to the bottom of it. Find someone you trust and can talk to. And don´t hold on to the past. Because it doesn´t hold the answers. You can´t walk forward always looking behind you. And you have to start forgiving yourself before you can forgive others.

Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made, forgive yourself for letting someone treat you badly and start taking care of yourself. To do that you will have to start really forgiving the people that hurt you. Only then you can start feeling better and really move on.