Okay. Take this one with about two pounds of salt, because as far as Internet rumours go, this one’s about as spurious as they come. What am I talking about? Why, it’s none other than the alleged (actually, inferred) Scarlett Johansson Sex Tape. Yes, that’s right, a Scarlett Johansson Sex Tape.

Now, don’t go getting your panties in a bunch, just yet. I gots some ‘splaining to do.

So, there’s this website, scenesfromacar, and on this website, the claim is made that there is an audio tape featuring an unnamed Hollywood starlet, caught giving a blow job in a car, with her microphone still on.

Speculation had originally been pointing to Lindsay Lohan, because of her general skankiness, but with the recent addition of a clue, in the form of a red letter “A” (“The Scarlett Letter”), most people believe it is actually Scarlett Johansson. The actress is said to have a distictive, low voice, as well.

Long hours on a set. People get tired, people make mistakes, and sometimes starlets give blow jobs in cars without realizing their mic is still on.

Skip ahead… there is some more sweet talk, then some more rustling, then they start kissing and so forth. THEN, for twelve minutes and forty seven seconds, she gives him the sexiest blow job I have ever heard capped off by the words “Yeah, cum“.

The tape is now on sale, via email, at the website above, for the nice round sum of $20, and that’s about as much as I know. It’s almost impossible to verify any legitimacy at this point, and I’m not keen on spending $20 for the privilege of waiting five days to receive what may, or may not be (and probably isn’t) a Scarlett Johansson sex tape. Besides, as soon as the first sucker gets it, it’ll be online within minutes, so I’ll be waiting for the free version.

That being said, if this is real, it could be the greatest thing since, well, since the creation of the Universe, but it would be a lot better if there was video.

Anyway, since I don’t have any actual sex tape goodness to share with you, here are some pictures Scarlett Johansson in a see-through shirt. Enjoy.