Patrick George

Ever wonder what it's like for the random spider or praying mantis who lands on your windshield and manages to hang out there at highway speeds?

For something that small, it can't be too much fun, especially since it usually ends with them flying off and getting smooshed into the pavement or some other car's windshield. But if you're gonna go out that way, why not do it on something awesome?

This Brazilian ad from the late 1990s or early 2000s shows one poor snail's bad day as he gets stuck on an Audi RS4 Avant while it's going around a track. Hey, that snail should be happy at the ride he's getting — Audi never saw fit to bring this 375 horsepower Quattro wagon-rocket to America. (Bunch of haters.)

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It's a great ad on many fronts, including because it treats us to the incredible sound of the Avant's 2.7-liter twin turbo V6. Forget the snail's problems, I want one in my garage ASAP.

Can any of our Portugese-speaking Jalops tell me what the snails are saying at the end?