Tag: local news

Videos of would-be robbers getting their asses kicked by MMA fighters at gas stations are nothing newaround here. But of all the “mma fighter foils robbery” videos in the “gas station” sub-category, this new one from Houston might be our favorite, and it’s for one simple reason: PRIDE rules.

When a truck full of marauders sets upon a Fuel Depot employee returning from a bank run, the victim’s co-worker — Sri Lankan MMA champ Mayura Dissanayake — springs into action, and scores two immediate knockdowns with a brutal head kick and a barrage of punches. Momentum has shifted, and things only get worse for the robbers from there.

As the bad guys scramble to get back into the getaway SUV, Dissanayake lands a hook on a hapless crook named Odell Mathis, who falls to the concrete. As Mathis’s ride pulls away, Dissanayake lands four clean soccer-kicks to his dome, starts to walk off, then changes his mind and kicks Mathis in the face two more times. Street justice has been served, homey.

“I just kicked him until he lays down on the floor,” Dissanayake said. “Until he stopped moving, ’cause I wasn’t sure if he had a knife or a gun, so I wanted him to stop moving.”

Serious question: Is this just a viral ad for the long-delayed season of TUF India? Because you have to assume that Mayura Dissanayake would be the front-runner at this point.

Props to R/MMA for passing along the wildest bit of gas station footage since Maiquel Falcao slapped that girl and got KO’d with a 2×4. Early Saturday morning in Norwood, PA, a 20-year-old local kid named CJ Gostynski decided to throw on a mask and rob a gas station at gunpoint. Unfortunately, he ran into a tough/brave/crazy son-of-a-bitch named John McGowan, who had just lost his car and was in no mood for the bullshit.

When Gostynski demands money, McGowan tells him “You’re fuckin’ with the wrong guy,” and proceeds to walk up on the would-be robber, who is pointing a gun directly at his face. [Ed. note: This is the point where I would be fishing my wallet out of my urine soaked slacks.] McGowan tackles Gostynski — “right into the racka potata chips,” says the regionally-accented news anchor — and locks him down with a triangle choke. McGowan then proceeds to beat Gostynski with his own gun (!) and holds him in place until the cops arrive. Renzo would be proud. The Gracie Brothers are masturbating furiously.

During the fracas, the gun went off twice, and McGowan’s shoe was grazed with a bullet. Gostynski, who has no criminal history, is facing 33 charges including robbery and assault. As MyFoxPhilly reports, an AR-15 rifle with 60 rounds of ammunition was found in Gostynski’s truck, but honestly, everything’s an AR-15 these days. Anyway, kudos to John McGowan, whose balls are way, way bigger than ours.

Whenever I am involved in a discussion regarding crime and punishment, I am often dubbed a “sociopathic”, a “loony”, or a “stay the fuck away from me and my family” kind of guy as a result of my extreme view on how people should be disciplined. Society is overpopulated and ever-increasing, so it is my belief that we should take everyone from the convicted pedophiles and murders of the world down to the sue happy whackjobs, load them into a jumbo jet, and crash it into a mountain. Those whom I have these conversations with often retort that I should have more faith in humanity, that people are inherently good and are capable of change.

And then a story like this surfaces and drags them deeper into the murky cesspool of human existence in which my faith currently lies.

Today’s story comes to us out of St. Louis, where a local woman recently released an abhorring video on Facebook (a.k.a society’s douche) in which she not only prods her infant daughter into fighting another local girl, but gives her a few pointers while she carries out the despicable act. Unfortunately, no charges have been filed at this point, so the woman’s name has yet to be released, likely out of fear that her neighbors would tie her to a fence post and take turns kicking her in the vagina with steel-toed boots in order to ensure that she never reproduces again, as they so rightfully should.

(It seems that local shows have corned the market on doppelganger MMA as well.)

Quite possibly the most dangerous proving ground in all of mixed martial arts, the local MMA show combines the blood-soaked glory of the big leagues with the fluorescent lighting and seating arrangements of your high school gymnasium or neighborhood watering hole. Often featuring announcers that would make Mauro Ranallo blush and referees that would be laughed off stage by Cecil Peoples, the local show never ceases to be entertaining, as well as a place where some of the sport’s finest talents build their resumes and skill sets. And with all the unknown prospects (not to mention knockouts) we were treated to with last night’s season opener of The Ultimate Fighter 14, I figured I’d surf the web and find eight of the localest, bar-room-brawlingest, shakiest-cameraist knockouts out there for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

It seems that wherever local news cameras go they manage to zero in on the idiots in the crowd almost effortlessly. It’s no different in this footage from Sacramento’s Channel 10, which Steve Cofield thankfully dug up. Bashing an entire city based on the people who find their way on to the evening news is not only easy and kind of unfair, it also turns out to be lots of fun.

For those of us who have always wondered about what Stockton is really like after hearing the Diaz brothers wax poetic about it for years, it is indeed an insight. The ladies who show up around the 0:47 mark to insist that “we aren’t an advocate of bloodshed, although we don’t hate on it if it happens” are a couple of stalwart examples of the kind of girls you might meet at an MMA event (if you’re lucky).

Not content to let the plebes make the point for him, Cofield also refers to a recent study that claimed Stockton had the highest illiteracy rates of any American city with a population over 250,000. Ouch. But I guess if you want a town that breeds its share of tough fighters, you don’t necessarily go looking for the city that issues the most library cards.