The webcam doesn’t lie, kids. I’m back from Vegas. And as they say, “It’s nice to leave, but it’s good to come home.”

This was my first outing to Sin City and I think I’m still digesting it. Nothing can really prepare you for the 24 hour assault on your senses. It’s like every receptor in your head is fully engaged in some reactive, spastic twitch.

But I’m getting ahead of myself…

Things didn’t really get off on the right foot when we tried to leave Des Moines. Our plane was 7 hours delayed. No, that is not a misprint.

We booked a flight with Allegiant Air because they were the only airline with a direct flight to Vegas. We didn’t know when we arrived at Des Moines “International” Airport at 1:30 that we had actually booked time in Hell’s waiting room.

Why the plane was so late was never clearly explained to us. First they said it was mechanical. Then they said it was weather. We found out later that they did close the Vegas airport for an hour due to high winds and (snicker!) rain, but that doesn’t add up for the monstrous delay we experience.

Still, you gotta keep these things in perspective. If you think languishing in an airport lounge eating warmed over pizza and drinking a $7.00 beer is bad, just think about those poor souls stuck in the plane coming BACK to Des Moines. No doubt they were forced to stay on the plane. And then, to add insult to injury, they end up in DES MOINES!!!

Our flight was supposed to leave at 2:00, but we didn’t get off of the ground until 8:30. Factor a 2 and a half hour flight, waiting an hour for our luggage, securing the rental car and driving to the hotel – our first night in Vegas was pretty much screwed. All that was left over was to climb into bed and nurse a migrain that had been developing over the last 12 hours.

All that aside, Vegas was a very enriching experience. We stayed at Treasure Island – a great hotel once widely known for it’s prevalent pirate theme. However, they’ve recently abandoned the skull-n-crossbones routine for something a little more upscale. I guess that’s okay. But the kid in me longs for swashbucklin’ action!

Our first day we spent “rollin'” up and down the strip – hitting every major casino within eyesight. It’s alarming how large these buildings are. Can someone please explain to me why I have to walk 3 blocks just to make it to the entrance of Caeser’s Palace?

Besides drinking, gambling, and shopping, we engaged in a lot of the touristy things. We rode the Big Shot atop The Stratosphere (an experience I hated, but Cami loved) and soaked up the view from the 1/2 scale Eiffel Tower at the Paris Casino – which offered a great view of the water show at The Bellagio.

A big highlight for me was seeing Hoover Dam. I don’t know why, but I’m always a sucker for engineering marvels of the 1930’s.

I didn’t have a chance to hit up any Vegas clubs – strip, dance, or otherwise. We did so much walking, I was bone tired by the end of the day. I did get some time by the pool, which was nice.

In the gambling department, I suck eggs. I lost every dollar it put into every slot machine. The gambling gods refuse to even humor me with the slightest notion of winning.

Some people gamble and they’re up, they’re down – sometimes they break even, sometimes they lose it all. But at least there is give and take. Not me. Insert a dollar – SUCCCCCKKKKKKKK! – I never see it again. It’s as if I just threw it into a brightly lit hole.

Cami, on the other hand, at least had a little something going. She was $30 up at one point, then added another $20 to her tally. That would have been enough for me to feel like a winning right there.

Of course, maybe the reason I don’t win big is because I don’t bet big. Whenever I go to a casino, I always make a bee line for the 5 cent machines or the $2 minimum bet blackjack tables. They should just label them “wuss bets” and be done with it.

There’s still a bunch of stuff about Vegas I didn’t get to mention, but I figure I’ve bored you long enough. If you want more details, hit me up in the forums.

Just know that I had an awesome time and plan on going back sometime soon!

Before I wrap things up, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who submitted guest strips while I was away. You guys got to see 4 while I was out, but that wasn’t the extent of the submissions. I’m sitting on 3 more that I’ll probably display on the bonus materials page – so look for those in the near future.

Another thing to look for in the near future is a new strip from me on Wednesday! See you then!

What a life. I spent Saturday floating down the lazy Apple River in Wisconsin. It was very cool. I was having visions of Apocalyse Now. With nine inner tubes lashed together, eight of us and a cooler drifted down the river, forced to accept what was to come. There was excitement at the beginning, when one of our tubes sank slowly into the shallows. We had to stop and reconfigure our layout, demoting that particular tube to cooler duty. Even a slow river is hard to stand up in, especially when the rocks below are round and slippery. We discovered this when some of the twine broke and split us into two groups. One group drifted near the shore while the group I was in moved on down the river until we were finally able to stop ourselves.

As we drifted in and out of different parties, I half expected Robert Duvall to come out to the water and demand that we give his surf board back.

It was a fun experience that I wouldn’t mind repeating.

Last night, I watched Road to Perdition with my sweetie. You can’t beat a good gangster film. It was very good, if not somewhat predictable.