Tuesday, 29 March 2016

When You Become A Stranger To Yourself Pt.1

Ever seen that stupid dress that was all over the internet a
while ago, you know, the one where people were arguing over whether it was gold
or some other colour, as if there’s no problems left in the world to discuss,
as if anyone even fucking cares?

Well, I don’t even know why I used that analogy really, but I guess
it’s the best way I can try and begin to explain what I’ve been going through
these past few days, if I can explain it at all that is…

So now imagine this - you're that stupid dress. Except of
course, you’re not stupid, and you’re not a dress. But you just have no clue
whether you’re gold, blue or some other shit you never even considered for that
matter.

You’re literally a stranger to yourself. What are you
thinking? What are you feeling? What is it you want?

Yes, it’s often difficult to make decisions in life or act upon
things. But for the most part, you have a pretty good idea of what’s going
through your head and what you’re feeling, right?

What do you do when you wake up one day and realise you have absolutely no clue
what you’re feeling. No clue what you’re thinking. No clue what you want… Thoughts rushing through your mind, each one contradicting the last...

Maybe you tell yourself it's just not your day... You distract yourself. You drink. You deny and ignore it, all in an effort to protect yourself from...yourself... You almost feel you've got it all under control...

...And then you wake up the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that, too, feeling exactly the same.

Where do you go from there? How do you win this battle against your very own self?