Change is the only constant thing in life. I've learned to like it even though sometimes it's hard. This blog is about adapting to changes and seeing things differently. I guess my wish is for readers to see value in taking the 'risk' of changing, for the better, and maybe contribute towards their courage trying it :)

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Derniere Ligne Droite

I'm not sure what the English translation is for the title expression :)
Next week is the VERY LAST week of my undergraduate degree and I'm excited. I'm also slightly scared of the 4 computer science assignments that are due that week. It will be (and has been for the past 2 months) an intense 10 or so days of programming. I'm gonna try to enjoy it before it comes to an end. We CS kids complain a lot about the work load but I think secretly we do enjoy it, including the stress and the mind-boggling problems we attempt to solve. Soon enough, I will write my final exams. Then I'll walk across the stage in a robe and will receive my piece of paper. If I were to rewind to first year, there are many things I would've done differently, had I known what my interests would be now. But what's done is done, and maybe every mistake contributed to my current state of mind as much as my successes did.
The next step is looking for a job. I hope to find a job that is inspiring. I'd like to try something different. Maybe a different city? Paris. London. Vancouver. Would be cool. But at the same time, I love Toronto. We'll see... I have a few projects lined up to keep me busy over the summer and I'm also going home! I've missed my island :)
The uncertainties remain and every now and then, the gripping fear of being dissatisfied with my life a few years down the road still resurfaces. We made friends. I made friends with fear. We fight a lot but I can be a competitive friend. So I try to win. I rationalize, telling myself that I'm in a transition phase and that it's normal to freak out every now and then. And that's true. Luckily, I have a few special people in my life who always find a way to cheer me up. Most of the time, it's unconscious.
All this anxiety comes from the feeling that I could have accomplished so much more during my 5 years here. And it is true. But everyone could say that. Plus, instead of complaining, I should rather do something about it. So I am :) And that's the best way I know to battle fear. Take it by the horns and stare it down. Stare it down while ninja fighting the various obstacles thrown your way. At least that's the way I've always dealt with it. Seems to work...
How do you battle fear? Leave a comment :)