They say the Earth was born from chaos, a frenzy of atoms, a big bang.

Today, November 9, represents the death of one era and the birth of another. It is a funeral for the tomfoolery of man. At the same time, it's a chance for humans to finally redeem themselves after millennia of war, hate, and truly embarrassing shit (lookin' at you, cargo shorts).

It's with a heavy heart that I write this obituary for 2016 election, which will be missed by no one, except liquor store owners who probably made a killing.

The 2016 election ended in the same way the world began — with sound and fury.

The unprecedented trash tsunami came mostly from Donald Trump — a racist clementine and businessman. He had some successes, most notably convincing Americans that he is capable of running a country better than anyone else, including Hillary Clinton.

Taking his failures in stride — the disastrous Trump Steaks, his fraudulent Trump University, his Duane Reade sunless tanner, and now-trademark Trump misogyny — the clementine discovered something remarkable: If you validate angry white people, they will give you money — and their votes.

One by one, the GOP contenders dropped until only Trump remained.

But from the ashes of the Republican failures, a slightly-less-wounded phoenix emerged: the Democrats.

This cast of candidates was nothing like the JV-team Republicans. Hillary Clinton, a former secretary of state, first lady, and life-long public servant came to slay (minus that whole e-mail thing). Her competitors, Lincoln Chaffee and Martin O'Malley seemed like reasonable people — they could sit at the Big Kids' Table with her.

But ultimately, they lacked the charisma of their garbage fire Republican contender, Donald Trump, and paid the price for it.

Soon enough, it was Trump versus Clinton — and the (pussy's) claws were out.

While the candidates were duking it out on-and-off the debate stage, a slew of seriously disturbing info about Donald Trump became public.

First, former Miss Universe Alicia Machado publicly announced that Donald Trump fat-shamed her after the competition, which he owned. He called her "Miss Housekeeping," "Miss Piggy," and other degrading names.

Donald Trump, who may or may not think "bigly" is a word, seemed totally chill about his disparaging remarks — and even defended them.

“She was the winner and you know, she gained a massive amount of weight and it was a real problem," he told "Fox and Friends" in September. "We had a real problem,”

But because we live in "The Twilight Zone" now, things somehow got worse.

On October 7, a 2005 Access Hollywood conversation between host Billy Bush and Donald Trump surfaced. The two having a lewd conversation on a hot mic, in which Trump bragged about how he can "grab [women] by the pussy" because he's famous.

"[I've] never been as wrong on anything on my life," David Plouffe, Obama's 2008 campaign manager, tweeted. "Sobriety about what happened tonight is essential."

For a nation that's spent the last year drowning our sorrows in wine, gin, and possibly 4Loko, all that's left is a deep sense of soberness. It's a numbness that sticks to your bones — a callous on your soul.

"I am deeply afraid for all women, people of color, Muslims, and LGBT+ people," actor and advocate Brandon Evers wrote on Twitter. "A Trump presidency will put them in (even more) danger on a daily basis."

Parents of young daughters, who hoped their children would witness the first female president, are at a loss for words.