01 July 2017

The Great American Rock 'n' Roll Song Book: Archie in the Studio, Part Two

Archie's

TOTALLY FAKE, FALSE AND PHONY

Studio Sessionography

2002-2033

When the Pop Culture Cantina decided to present

its own version of The Archies, there were lots of

important considerations: How close to hew to the

traditional characterizations? Whether to depict

the group as teenagers or as adults? What/who

would be the source of their musical repertoire? And

so on . . . and once all that had been determined,

they needed a studio to record their music in!

Back in the late 1960s and early '70s, the "real"

Archies (Ron Dante, Toni Wine, Jeff Barry and

company) cut tracks at RCA Studios in New York City.

Our Archies narrative begins 20 years later, by which

time those studios no longer existed. We had Archie

and Veronica build their own recording complex:

Archie Sound Studios. ASS (its cheeky acronymwas arrived at totally by accident!) is located in Mamaroneck, New York, where Archie Comics

is headquartered. This would be Hitsville USA, re-

imagined and relocated to fictional Riverdale USA.

Or so we thought at the time . . . as any fiction writer

knows, characters take on a life of their own. Once

that happens, you can only do so much with them! A case in point: Veronica didn't want to record

at ASS. Babe didn't dig the acoustics! We ended up

using it mostly for a demo studio, and this set the

stage for a later story about Archie's publishing

company. We proceeded to book The Archies into

Memphis' Sun Studios, London's Abbey Road, the

Capitol Tower in Hollywood and other legendary

recording locales around the world.

However, we wanted the group to have a home-base studio that wasn't famous until they

made it so. They ended up with two! Veronica

favored Spanish Eddie's, a funky little room

situated over a sleazy New Orleans Gay

bar. You'd expect the Lodge Industries heiress

to prefer a state-of-the-art studio, but Roni

adored the crackling natural reverb the upstairs

room produced, and she also prized the superior

mixing skills of "Spanish" Eddie Roxchild. Dude

was one of the best sound engineers in the music

business! Archies producer Ralfi Chingas took

a liking to Eddie, too, but for reasons

more carnal than technical.

It fell to Archie to find an optimum-sound recording

facility. That was the Chapel of Rock, owned and

operated by Jeff Barry; Jeff was the very first

producer to work with The Archies, not to mention

the lyricist for "Sugar, Sugar" and the rest of their

early hits. Set up inside an abandoned cathedral

in Santa Barbara, California, the Chapel appealed

to a strongly Catholic Archie Andrews. Dude

was also hip to the fact that early Rock stars

like Buddy Holly and Bill Haley cut their hits inside church sanctuaries. Arch came to regard the Chapel as

his good luck charm, and rightly so: With the great

Tom Mourgos manning the desk, The Archies would track

three (count 'em!) THREE million-selling albums there.

Ralfi Chingas first produced The Archies at

his Rancho Chingas in Bayamón, Puerto Rico;

that tropical island locale was the recording

site of yet another Platinum LP. On occasion,

Dilton Doiley Briseño (who in our narrative splits his time

between musical and mathematical pursuits) records

the group at his home studio in El Paso, Texas. More often than not, the incredible dancing Tejano band Mariachi Lowrider is on hand to augment the band.The Archies call on these vatos locos when theywant a big-band sound, and they'll work togetheroff and on for years.

At the tail end of this sessionography, a reunited

Archies convene at Boston's Witch Queen

Recording Studio; Studio owner Bree (Sabrina) Spellman will arrange and produce their final tracking dates. Although they are first superstar band to hold sessions there (in the year 2033), it will be left

to their successors, The New Archies, to really

put Witch Queen on the map . . . but that's a

whole other narrative!

Part Two:

MEMPHIS BALLADS, PSYCHEDELICA,

SOULFUL SKA AND CHRISTMAS

CHEERTHE ARCHIES:

ARCHIE ANDREWS: Guitars

BETTY JONES: Fiddle, Sax

JUGGY JONES: Drums, Percussion

REGGIE MANTLE: Bass

RONI LODGE-ANDREWS: Keyboards

2005

SINGLES SESSIONS

(INSTRUMENTALS + VOCALS)

FEBRUARY 2005

SUN STUDIOS,

MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE

I'm Into Lookin' For Someone To Love Me (underdub) - lost

incomplete

Your Husband, My Wife (underdub) - lost

incomplete

THE ARCHIES

w/KEVIN KELLER, keyboards + backing vocals

Arranger: ARCHIE ANDREWS

Producers: THE ARCHIESSound Engineer: ISAK CHAUDHURY

The Archies commence recording a Country ballad album that

celebrates the songs of Toni Wine, one of the primary background

singers on their teenage recordings.

ALBUM SESSIONS

(INSTRUMENTALS + VOCALS)

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2005

SUN STUDIOS,

MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE

incomplete

incomplete

incomplete

incomplete

THE ARCHIES

w/KEVIN KELLER, keyboards + backing vocals

Arranger: ARCHIE ANDREWS

Producers: THE ARCHIESSound Engineer: ISAK CHAUDHURY

These were the only Archies recording sessions

that produced no usable sides.

ALBUM SESSIONS

(INSTRUMENTALS + VOCALS)

APRIL 2005

SUN STUDIOS,

MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE

That's What Life Is All About - Heaven Help The Non-Believer LP (Asia)

I Think I Love You Again (overdub) - Heaven Help The Non-Believer LP (Asia)

THE ARCHIES

w/KEVIN KELLER, keyboards + backing vocals

w/DILTON DOILEY BRISEÑO, guitar + fiddle

Arranger: DILTON DOILEY BRISEÑO

Conductor: ARCHIE ANDREWS

Producer: VERONICASound Engineer: ISAK CHAUDHURY

There are no surviving tapes from these sessions. IsakChaudhury was caught in the act of bootlegging! When The Archiesfired him, dude took revenge by maliciously sabotaging the sessiontapes. As a result, the group's Toni Wine project was scrapped, and only an acetate of potential song mixes was left to document it. That acetate will

be the basis of a reconstructed album released in the year 2098.

SINGLES SESSION

(INSTRUMENTALS + VOCALS)

JUNE 14, 2005

DISCOS FUENTES,

MEDALLIN, COLOMBIA

Titty Twister - single

Titty Twister en Español - Èxitos en Español reissue

THE ARCHIES

Arranger: ARCHIE ANDREWS

Producer: RALFI CHINGAS

Sound Engineer: MIRABELLA de ORGANZA

Featuring Jughead's lead, the "Titty Twister" single

will be released in the 22nd century and become

one of The Archies' biggest international hits. Archie

wrote the music and Jughead collaborated on the

lyrics with Big Ethel; it's one of only five

original songs cut by the adult group.

SINGLES SESSION

(INSTRUMENTALS + VOCALS)

AUGUST 20, 2005

TRIDENT STUDIOS,

LONDON, ENGLAND

Bring A Little Lovin' - Retro box set

Made In Paris (underdub) - unreleased

THE ARCHIES

w/KEVIN KELLER, keyboards + backing vocals

Arranger: REGGIE MANTLE

Producer: LAURA PINTO

Sound Engineer: ALAN MAYBERRY

This session was aborted when Veronica

got into a fist fight with producer Laura Pinto!

Reggie sang lead on both "Bring A Little Lovin'"

and "Made In Paris" but his vocals on the latter

song were never completed. It was retained in the

archive as an instrumental. As solo artists, both

Archie and Jughead will revisit "Paris".

SINGLES SESSIONS

(INSTRUMENTALS + VOCALS)

NOVEMBER 8 - 11, 2005

STUDIO B,

EL PASO, TEXAS

I'd Love You To Want Me - End Of A Century LP

Angelique - Archie On Broadway EP

House Of Gold - Retro box set

It Never Rains In California - End Of A Century LP

THE ARCHIES

w/DILTON DOILEY BRISEÑO, keyboards + backing vocals

Arranger/Producer: DILTON DOILEY BRISEÑO

Sound Engineer: PUNK E. GUTIÈRREZ

Betty sang duet vocals with Reggie on "I'd Love You

To Want Me" and lead on "House Of Gold" and

"It Never Rains In California." Reggie's lead voice

features on "Angelique". Veronica did not attend this

session and didn't hear the tracks until early 2006.

At that time, she judged them "too Tejano" for The

Archies' Country Pop fan base. The group will cut

a second version of "I'd Love You To Want Me"

in the year 2033.

2006

ALBUM SESSIONS

(INSTRUMENTALS + VOCALS)

FEBRUARY 2006

ABBEY ROAD STUDIOS,

LONDON, ENGLAND

It's Raining Sunshine (underdub) - lost

Sayonara, Baby (underdub) - lost

incomplete

God Bless Rock 'n' Roll - Get It On Today LP

Hey, Boy (The Girl's In Love With You) - Get It On Today LP

incomplete

A Million Lights - Get It On Today LP

Raining In My Sunshine - single flipside, Get It On Today LP

THE ARCHIES

w/RALFI CHINGAS, trumpet + percussion

w/RON DANTE, guitar + backing vocals

Arranger: ARCHIE ANDREWS

Producers: RALFI CHINGAS + THE ARCHIES

Sound Engineers: ALAN MAYBERRY, BUDDY SHELBY

The Archies begin cutting a Psychedelic Rock album.

Every song was written by Ron Dante, their former producer,

studio mentor and vocal coach. "Hey, Boy" was also issued

as a fan club single; Archie and Reggie sang a duet lead.

ALBUM SESSIONS

(INSTRUMENTALS + VOCALS)

MARCH 2006

ABBEY ROAD STUDIOS,

LONDON, ENGLAND

Let's Get It On Today! - single, Get It On Today LP

It Takes The Rain (To Make The Flowers Grow) - Get It On Today LP reissue

Yellow Van (underdub) - lost

Building With A Steeple - Get It On Today LP

Don't Call It Love! - single (withdrawn from sale),

single flipside, Get It On Today LP

incomplete

THE ARCHIES

w/RALFI CHINGAS, trumpet + percussion

w/RON DANTE, guitar + backing vocals

w/THEEDA MAHARAJ, sitar

Arranger: ARCHIE ANDREWS

Producers: RALFI CHINGAS + THE ARCHIES

Sound Engineers: ALAN MAYBERRY, BUDDY SHELBY

Veronica's love affair with Jughead came to light at

this session. The members of The Archies divided

into screaming factions, and work on their new

album ground to a dead halt! Theeda Maharajwill work with The Archies again in the year2032.

CYNTHIA WEIL, BURT BACHARACH, HAL DAVID, RON DANTE, JIM DORIS and JEFF BARRY.In Part Three, The Archies grab hold of their Latin roots
and cut some original songs, sowing the seeds for their biggest album and single ever! They also log sessions in France, Japan, Italy and Puerto Rico, treat their fan club members to a blast from the Don Kirshner past and pay rocking tribute to the man known as The British Elvis. Be there or be square!