Tuesday, November 01, 2005

9:38amThere’s nothing like going to a party and discovering that you have the same coat as one of your friends in a different color.

9:47amI knew it was going to be a bad call when it started with “Your website isn’t letting me do what I want to do.” Oh isn’t it? Maybe that’s because what your want to do can’t be done. I don’t want to hear “well, can your supervisor waive that fee?” Um, no. No one can waive the fee for your $4100 in business. Maybe, just maybe if you were ordering in excess of $410,000, we could do something for you. But probably not. “so you’re saying that you're sending me somewhere else?” Well yes, you don’t want to pay our fees that are pretty much non-negotiable, and you want a product we don’t have. So, yeah, I’m telling you that we can’t do it, and I’m sending you somewhere else.

9:56amOn a completely different call “You’re a jewel, have a great day!”

1:40pmI’ve shared my personal email address with two of my coworkers in the past two days, I am such an email slut. Also, as per one of my emails from one of my coworkers, do not dress up your pet for Halloween! If you dress up your pet, you should know that a) your pet should bite you in the ass and b) your pet hates you.

1:58pmWow. I’m a “good girl” as in: “Can you help me get this done?” “Yes sir, that shouldn’t be a problem” “Good girl.” And, if I help, I’ll get “a big smilely face.” Really sir? A big smilely face, what more could a “good girl” ask for?

2:32pmOh yeah, this weekend I officially became a real person. I bought … an iron …and an ironing board. I will now have clothes with creases and no wrinkles. Though, I think my method of spritz with Febreeze and hang in bathroom while I take really hot shower worked well enough.

3:16pmWell now I feel bad. You’ve been on hold and I found you someone to talk to, but in transferring the call, I messed up. My bad. Sorry.

4:28pmUm, no, we don’t have a card that you can purchase to us at an ATM without personalizing the card. That would be an enormous security risk. Yes, we specialize in money laundering. Just pump dirty money into us and we’ll issue you a card that you can take to an ATM and get clean money out. Perfect!

4:55pmDo you think that Portia de Rossi over in marcom knows that there is a 22 year-old over in customer support that lusts after her every day?