We've featured the email escapades of humorist David Thorne before, but apparently he's the only one of his coworkers who knows how to access the Internet because everyone still insists on the company's graphic designer doing their personal work for free.

This time, it's for a lost cat, and like any sensible human being, David is hesitant to be compassionate when it comes to an animal that lacks the capacity to display affection.

The exchange is lengthy, but the payoff makes reading the entire thing worth it.