Monday, November 07, 2005

A Note on the Curious History of Trans Allosquia

Trans Allosquia, as every good Lithuanian child knows, has a very curious history indeed. This curious history goes back right to the Dark Ages (which are otherwise known as the Nineteen Twenties.) In the chaos that followed the first world war, many conflicting ideologies fought amongst themselves for control of the continent of Europe. The Vienesse, for instance, were right into the waltz, while the people of Lichtalbania thought that the snappy rhythmns of the tango were the modern thing. Invariably, it was the innocent people, who just wanted to sit at home and read a good book instead of go out and dance the night away, that suffered. They were continually conscripted into gigantic cross border dancing competitions, events at which they were expected to defend their fellow dancers by hurling weapons such as butterflies and other small avian creatures at the opposition, at the same time singing their national songs and poems. Naturally, everyone got heartily sick and tired of this, which led to the famous 1932 PETITION TO THE FEDERATION OF NATIONS, where a number of Lichtalbanians got together, and signed a document which said that they shouldn't be forced to go to these dancing competitions, when all they wanted to do was sit at home with the latest thriller by Poet Agner Morxyffyn*. Unfortunately, at that time, the Federation of Nations was controlled by a particularly enthusiastic devotee of the gavotte, who declared (much to the annoyance of just about everybody) that from now on, dancing competitions would be compulsory right across the world and, in those nations where it was already compulsory, they would be Even More So**.