A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Monday, October 01, 2007

"Huge" Anti-War Protest Disappears Into The Ether

So what do you think of that HUGE anti-war protest in Washington, D.C. on Saturday? What? You have no idea what I'm referring to? Welcome to the club. Almost NOBODY has heard of that protest. It even took me a whole bunch of googling until I found some information on a local D.C. news station, Channel 9, about the HUNDREDS who "closed" Constitution Ave. while protesting in the nation's capital. Here is what one of the protestors posted on the Channel 9 WEBSITE:

These protests are an absolute disaster. I was among many who marched yesterday hoping if not to make an impact then at least for my voice to be heard. I can now say with absolute confidence: There is no ant-war movement. There are, however, droves of angry, uneducated kids, and a radical few who are just as bad as everything they claim to be against. Many of the protesters were openly racist and anti-semitic, and they couldn't help but trip over their egos as they scramble to be the leader of what they percieve to be a massive movement. Their egos killed the movement and the movement is dead. Perhaps, most ironically, the spirit of the protest can be seen along the police barricaded streets upon which we marched: piles of trash, torn banners, discarded placards; in short, a charge into a confused future, and a toddler's mess left behind. Despicable. We have yet a lot to learn.

However the FUnniest thing about this fizzled protest wasn't the protest itself. It was the reaction of the DUmmies to the protest as you can see in this THREAD titled, "BREAKING: Const Ave occupied as of 7PM b y antiwar students." Until grim reality later set in, this protest to the DUmmies signaled the start of a nationwide rebellion against the EVIL Bush Regime. You can see laughable pics of this protest HERE. As you can see, there are probably no more than 50 protestors, NOT hundreds as is claimed. So let us now enjoy the comedic entertainment of the DUmmies hoping desperately for that spark to revolution in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking that these barricades were built by Starbuck's paper cups, is in the [brackets]:

BREAKING: Const Ave occupied as of 7PM b y antiwar students

[The protest when EVERYTHING finally changed...]

As I left to post this, the occupation has been going on since about 4PM, with no sign of police attack nor preparation for one. Three tents and a large banner are set up, with the tents blocking the road and the banner along the median.

If you are in the area, please go down and check it out! While no police attack has occurred, that could change at any time. In addition rotating fresh activsts into the blockade could allow it to be sustained indefinately(tents for sleeping are there), with monday morning rush hour as the ultimate target.

first thing that popped into my mind was kent state... damn i hope im wrong and overreacting..

[You did overreact but you didn't hope you were wrong. You wanted those protestors turned into martyrs. Unfortunately for you, the police pretty much ignored them.]

I don't think it will get to that point. I'm more concerned why Constitution Ave has been (or possibley still is) occupied for more then 5 hours and my local news is talking baseball players fighting. God we live in 1984.

Their sense of timing is so impeccable, with Myanmar in the news. Good on them, God bless and protect. They need support from outside too, assuming there are arrests. Checking in on them, making calls for them, seeing them lets the police know that they a re not isolated. It's really important.

[Unfortunately for you, the police just yawned.]

I've never contacted my news before, but I am going to at least send them an email this time.

Or Tiananmen Square. More and more people joined every day until the powers that were brutally shut them down.

[Instead you were brutally IGNORED.]

remember, all you students....you can protest the war while you are young AND then sell out and be a Volvo-driving, latte-drinking granola later! It's the American way.

[Sage advice from a lazy ex-hippie.]

I protested...I drive a Land Rover, I drink Starbuck's daily (I make my own at home), but I won't touch granola. Too much partially hydrogenated high fructose corn syrup.

[Try trail mix.]

I just discovered (on-line) that the Starbuck's Chai latte without the latte has almost 300 calories in the venti size...good grief. I am back to Lipton tea and Sweet n low.

[Um...about the protest. Oh, never mind.]

Use honey and stay away from the fake sugar... its soooo bad for you. anything to do with Monsanto usually is...

[Wow! That D.C. protest is sure inciting a lot of pent up anger...NOT!]

Stevia is a good substitute for sugar. It's healthy (despite the misinformation spread by the saccharine lobby that only allows it to be sold as "nutritional supplement" in healthfood stores), has no calories and tastes great in coffee.

[How about if we just forget the protest and turn this thread into a discussion of health food?]

I have lost 25 lbs the past three months and the only thing I eliminated was HFCS.

[It also eliminated any interest whatsoever in protests.]

does Pepperidge Farms use that in Goldfish? I can't tell from the label. ps...great weight loss...good for you!

[The big issue of our time is whether Sara Lee uses it.]

When I first read this, I had flashbacks of Kent State, Jackson State, hoses and dogs. I was really afraid that there would be bloodshed. Thank Heavens noone was hurt.

[Be honest. You're really disappointed that the biggest injury to the protestors was a case of chapped lips.]

I try to avoid HFCS as much as I can in some things--because I am a total binge eater and I'll often eat junk foods that have a great deal of HFCS. I'm not looking for foods that have HFCS, but most junk food and even foods that are positioned as "healthy" have a lot of HFCS--like granola bars.

[Back to really important matters like the chemical composition of granola bars.]

I never learned to drive, I dislike granola (but enjoy oatmeal) and I question your decision to include lattes in that statement. If you thinking drinking a latte is selling out, you've never had Stumptown coffee before!

[I'm drinking Cafe Bustelo right now. Where does that put me on the political scale?]

We need you to become active like this. Brings me back to the days when I protested.

[You need to become actively engaged in a discussion of latte and granola bars.]

I once believed we needed a balance between Socialism and Capitalism, but the past eight years have made me a die hard socialist. And agreed, Starbucks is the last place I'd go for a Latte, but I love my Co-op's granola.

[Thanx for that admission of being a hard core collectivist. Now go back to your latte and granola.]

I still fear for the protesters tonight - I cannot see the authorities standing down completely.

[Unfortunately for you, they were IGNORED completely.]

Something's Happening Here. The students are finally in the streets. The Vets will follow. Finally.

[The only thing that followed was a barely perceptible yawn.]

I was planning on going to today, but something came fairly last minute and I couldn't. I know several DUers were planning on going, does anyone have any reports on what happened?

[Wow! Such commitment to activism. A bunch of DUmmies PLANNING on going! DUAC! DUAC!]

I've been trying to find out how the march was. Whether they had more or less people than we had on the 15th. Even here on DU I haven't seen anyone talking about it.

[Even the DUmmies would prefer to talk about latte and granola bars.]

Here's to when they slow down the Beltway stop up the Metro escalators, fill the Mall, and shut down the Key, Memorial, and George Washington Bridges.

[First you might want to try to get enough loons to actually reach from one side of the street to the other. That's another thing I noticed about the pics. Not even enough loons to reach the other side of Constitution Ave.. Try reaching to the other side of the street first before you even begin thinking of filling up the Mall.]

hit them where it hurts, stop the machine, people marching doesnt do alot, lets see what happens when american road ways have a clogged artery, well see what happens then.

[You can't clog an artery when people merely have to drive around you since you couldn't even reach the other side of the street.]

Police attack? It looks like there is a cruiser right next to them and they are letting them protest. I understand all the excitement but who are they trying to convince? B*sh is locked in and the top 3 on our side started with "get out now" but now want to stay there.

[The cruelest treatment of them all. The police are allowing them to protest knowing that soon the craving for latte will override any sense of activism on the part of the protestors.]

that's NOT the way to protest - if this is a real protest - seems like kooks to me and everyone else in the city...this will damage the cause of getting us out of this goddamn WAR...

[FREE Mumia and, even better, FREE Latte!!!]

wow. i just googled and didn't find anything. (am i a bad googler?)

[You just need to be more persistent. I kept on googling until I finally found one mention of this tiny protest on a D.C. Channel Nine website.]

There's apparently a complete news blackout on this: not a good sign.

[Complete boredom. Also not a good sign.]

And so it begins... finally.

[Hilariously posted a DUmmie, thinking that the Bolshevik Revolution has finally begun...]

THESE are the heros in this nation. We've labeled the military as the heros, when they certainly are putting their lives on the line for this ill-guided fiasco of the chimp's. But these young adults are voluteering for righteousness in this land, and very possibly putting their lives on the line against their own corrupt government. These are the heros in my book.

[The biggest risk those "heroes" are taking is choking on a granola bar while being ignored on Constitution Ave..]

I HATE that they can't stay on message.

[Yeah, why do people bring latte into a message focused on granola?]

I think this thing fizzled out last night. DOT webcams are showing clear streets on Constitution Ave

[KILLJOY!!!]

Is it too early for a tin hat? What if the DOT webcams are showing an old loop?

[It is a Rovian "Capricorn One" type conspiracy!]

I'm not "taking to the streets"...I'm going to Ihop.

[Or a MIHOP or a LIHOP.]

If it keeps going, I will think about joining them...whose with me! If they can keep it sustained for a day, I will drive down there & stand with them.

[If it keeps going you will THINK about joining them? Love that commitment on your part. DUAC! DUAC!]

Is this amounting to anything? It's been up on the DU home page since last night and it doesn't seem to be amounting to squat. Has anything interesting happened in the past 12 hours with this?

[Yeah. Some spilt latte on Constitution Ave. evaporated in the past 12 hours.]

Just stay home. Don't buy anything. There is no risk of arrest or physical harm and even though times may be hard certainly staying home for a day is worth saving lives being lost on an illegal occupation.

[Just continue doing what you are already doing. Stay home. Munch on pizza. And stare at the computer screen. DUAC! DUAC!]

We can make a conscious decision to sit out the Holidays (and the rest of the year if necessary). Buy only that which is absolutely necessary for survival. Pass the word, via you tube, my space, face book, emails, etc. Make it a grassroots effort.

[Pass the word. Do NOTHING! DUAC! DUAC!]

I like this. Just plop down in the street, not budging. This is good. More of this please.

[Almost as good as plopping in your basement computer chair and doing nothing. DUAC! DUAC!]

"that's NOT the way to protest - if this is a real protest - seems like kooks to me and everyone else in the city...this will damage the cause of getting us out of this goddamn WAR"

What if we held a protest and nobody cared? You know it's bad when even a fellow DUmmie calls you a kook.

"But these young adults are voluteering for righteousness in this land, and very possibly putting their lives on the line against their own corrupt government."

Oh, please! The only way any of these "protesters" could have gotten hurt is if they slipped on a spilled latte. Plopping your worthless ass on the street is not a dangerous way to "protest." Next time I suggest you try "shutting down" and active runway. At least then you'll be facing possible injury.

Moonbats!! moonbats!! moonbats!!! I just love them. It's so humorous how they think this country is on the verge of a revolution. Hey moonbats news flash: The new televison season has just started, you can't interupt that with a revolution!! Then we have the World Series, followed by the Holiday season. Your best window of opportunity will be the 2 weeks in January, between the NFL playoffs and the Superbowl; but the overthrow must be complete before the new season of "Idol" begins, or the cause is lost. Hey I have a question for when your Socialist revolution is complete: Will you still allow Starbucks to sell Lattes for profit?? Maybe you can change the name to StarMarx, and the proceeds can fund leftist projects(kinda like the Chicoms and Hong Kong)...Seeing as Socialism dosen't actually genrate any wealth; you'll need to get the $$ from somewhere..you can only tax so much. Keep entertaining, you make me and the voices in my head feel so much saner. Thanks!!

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. THE REVOLUTION BEGINS! Students are rising! Google Recon shows...nothing..."THEY'RE ON TO US!" Kent State? More like catatonic state. Che would have used these people for target practice. I visualize a police attack with poodles and hoses squirting corn syrup. Thank you for the laughs.

Suppose they gave a war and no one came? These have got to be the most torpid revolutionaries I've ever seen. Their entire plan of protest seems to be based on inactivity. In this case, the above quotation should be amended to ,"Suppose they gave a massive protest and no one noticed?"

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I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
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