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Estrellais a Spanish word meaning Star! However, in this story, Estrella is the name of Elsa's boss in the gotohan in Binondo! Her full name is: Estrella Marte. Estrella is a frustrated actress! She once tried her hand at acting by playing bit roles in several massacre films.

Regrettably Estrella's acting stint didn't go far because she always ends up irking most of her Film Directors by insisting on dying with full make up on, complete with blue mascara, nose line, check eye, beehive hairdo, lip liner, and peach colored blush on.

When her acting career did not bear fruits, Estrella tried joining Beauty Pageants hoping that this would be her vehicle to stardom. She joined all possible Pageants from Miss Baranggay, Miss United Nations, Miss Undas, Binibining Pilipinas Village, Palengke Queen, Mutya ng Binondo, and even Little Miss Philippines where she got disqualified due to age issue!

However, joining Beauty Pageants didn't bring her far either because she always ends up scratching her head, perspiring profusely, dropping her jaw, and answering wrongly during the Question and Answer portion. But, in all fairness, Estrella doesn't always go home empty handed. Every time she joins a Pageant she always receives minor prices like: Best in Props, Best in Makeup, Best in Smile and Best in Attendance. She once bagged the title of Best in Talent when she did an acting piece of a lady being chopped to death by a serial killer.

The highest rank that Estrella has ever gone in joining Beauty Pageant was when she was crowned Second Runner up in the search for Mutya ng Binondo. Now, allow me to say that this only became possible because there were only three contestants on that Pageant, and there was no Question and Answer portion. For landing Second Runner Up, Estrella was awarded with gift packs consisting of dozens of bottles of Datu Puti Sukang Paumbong, Silver Swan Soy Sauce, Rufina Patis, and UFC Banana Catsup.

After joining several more Pageants and not winning the major title, Estrella realized that Beauty Pageants wasn't her thing, and so she decided to join German Moreno's: That's Entertainment! But this stint didn't up her Showbiz career either because she only appears during "special days" unlike most of the members who appears on the said Talent Show at least once a week. Estrella was assigned to do the show only during Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Black Saturday. Estrella wanted to do the show during Easter Sunday as well so that more people would see her on the boob tube, but Kuya Germs told her that the Easter Sunday Edition of the show is reserved only to the Senior Members.

In spite of the very limited TV exposure, Estrella still got noticed by several Casting Agencies. Estrella was hired to do several TV and Print Adds. Estrella did a commercial on Tiger Katol, Rambo Slippers, and Meng Du Liquid concealer!

For a while Estrella was quite contented with what was happening with her Showbiz career but she soon realized that she wasn't earning much. And so, after a few years she decided to quit Showbizness. And since she was able to save a small amount out of doing commercials, she eventually decided to put up the Gotohan and Mami Stall in Binondo.

And so, Estrella turned her back at Showbizness and became a Business woman. But she remained obsessed with Showbizness! She loves the glitz and the glamour of Showbiz. And so, for her to fuse in her love for showbiz and to pay attention to her new career as a Business woman, she framed all her pictures taken during the tapings of her massacre films, her appearances in That's Entertainment, and shootings of her commercials. She also framed all her pictures when she joined Beauty Pageants then she decorated all these memoirs in her Gotohan in Binondo. Her obsession with Showbizness didn't stop there! She also became a big fan of Kuya Germs. She founded a fan club for the Master Showman and organized several events as well.

Because of Estrella's obsession with Showbizness, She barely had time for her Gotohan. And so, she hired several staffs to help her run the Gotohan. One of them is Elsa.

Elsa started working at the gotohan when her mother, who was originally the one working there as a Dishwasher, decided to quit her job. At first, Estrella was adamant at accepting Elsa because the Simple Schoolgirl was still a minor. But after weighing up the situation and due to economic reasons, Estrella decided to get Elsa service after all. Estrella further realized that upon hiring Elsa, she could actually save for wages because she could pay the Simple Schoolgirl a salary below minimum wage. And since Elsa was just a young girl, she could not even complain about it!

At first, Elsa was just designated the same position as did her mother. Elsa was originally hired as a Dishwasher. And as a Dishwasher, Elsa must wash all the used bowls, plates, spoons, forks, glasses, hot plates, woks, kaldero, and all other kitchen utensils! Elsa must wash all of what I have mentioned earlier using only 1 sachet of Dazz Dishwashing paste! Elsa was instructed by Estrella to be frugal! Estrella told Elsa that she must make sure to extend the 1 sachet of Dazz Dishwashing paste for a month! If Elsa was unable to do this, and an additional sachet of Dazz Dishwashing paste was bought, the amount will be deducted to her salary! Elsa agreed to what her Boss wishes to happened. Elsa understands that the reason why her Boss was doing this was for her to learn how to be prudent in life.

As a solution to the 1 sachet of Dazz Dishwashing paste per month policy of Estrella, Elsa decided to add some Gumamela extract every time she washes the dishes. So, before going to work, Elsa drops by her neighbor's backyard to gather some Hibiscus. She pounds this and puts it in an emptied Star Margarine container. She then brings this to the Gotohan and uses it everytime she washes the dishes! For a while, Elsa's plan worked well! But due to the slimy nature of the Gumamela extract, plates would always slip off Elsa's hand while it is being washed resulting to several plates getting shattered into pieces! Several drinking glasses got broken as well! When Estrella found out about the incident, she right away punished Elsa! At first, she would just slap Elsa really hard on the face and beat Elsa with a stainless sandok. But later on, Estrella seem to find more satisfaction in hurling all the ingredients of the goto at Elsa and then asking the Simple Schoolgirl to pick it all up again and put it in the pot of boiling goto and while Elsa is in the act of putting the goto ingredients in the pot, she would push Elsa directly into the pot of sweltering goto.

For some mysterious reason then again, Elsa doesn't get scalded every time she plunges straight into the pot of boiling goto. Infact, after emerging from the pot of boiling goto, the only evidence that Elsa had a "hot bath" was goto all over her clothes. Anyway, because of this Estrella repeatedly pushed Elsa into the pot of boiling goto every time the Simple Schoolgirl breaks plates or drinking glasses. Maybe you are wondering what becomes of the goto afterwards, right? Oh well, Estrella would instruct her other staff to serve the goto to the customers! And again, for some mysterious reason the customer loves the goto! When Estrella noticed this, she continued to push Elsa in the pot of boiling goto even if the Simple Schoolgirl doesn't break anything! Elsa could not do anything. She could not complain. She just thought that the reason why her Boss was doing this to her is so that she would learn how to take a bath every day.

Anyway, Elsa remained as a Dishwasher in the gotohan for 6 months. At which time Elsa was still attending school under the advisorship of the Terrible Teacher! But when Elsa was expelled from school after being accused of attempting to murder the Terrible Teacher and the Vile Vendor, Estrella decided to promote the Simple Schoolgirl as a Service Crew. Or to be more atrocious about it since this is an agonizing story; Elsa was promoted to the position of Serbidora! I said "atrocious" because allow me to inform you that while Elsa performs her duty as Serbidora, she must also made to perform her previous duty as a Dishwasher. Elsa accepted this because she thought that the reason why her Boss was doing this to her is for her to learn how to be flexible! And besides, she has all the time now to concentrate on her job!

When Estrella noticed that Elsa did not complain about "her promotion", and knowing that Elsa now has all her time for the Gotohan, she also assigned Elsa to be her Personal Assistant. As a Personal Assistant, Elsa must make sure that she contacts all the members of Kuya Germs's fans club before every meeting! Elsa was also assigned to make banners and placards for Kuya Germs! Elsa was also once assigned by Estrella to follow Kuya Germs wherever the Master Showman goes and take pictures ala Paparazzi! Elsa must also frame all the pictures that she took of Kuya Germs then hang these at the Gotohan. Elsa did her obligations perfectly even if it was really difficult. And Elsa never complained.

Seeing that Elsa again wasn't complaining with all her tasks as a Dishwasher, Serbidora, and Personal Assistant, Estrella came up with another idea. An idea that would allow her to save more money! An idea that made Estrella very happy! An idea that she broke to her staff in an emergency meeting by saying: "Good evening Ladies and Gentelmen! Standing before you is none other than Miss Estrella Marte! 27 years of age with vital statistics of 36-25-36. Standing 5 feet 11 inches tall. Former Actress, Beauty Queen, Commercial Model and presently the Owner of Estrella's Gotohan and Mamihan here in Binondo! I do believe that children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way, show them all the beauty they posses inside, give them a sense of pride! And my favorite animal is an Ant. My favorite animal is an Ant because they are saving for the rainy days. And so, today, I declare that for austerity measures, all of you are fired except for Elsa! Elsa will assume all the position here in my wonderful Gotohan! She will be the Dishwasher, Serbidora, Kusinera, Kahera, Janitress, Security Guard and most specially my Personal Assistant! Elsa will perform all these duties without any salary increase! If you want to complain, don’t! That's all thank you!"

Instead of reacting violently, the staffs of the gotohan surprisingly were even happy! After Estrella's speech, they applauded their Boss and hurriedly ran out of the Gotohan leaving Elsa behind. When all the staffs have left, Estrella spoke to Elsa and told her never to complain to anybody. Estrella also reiterated that she will not get any salary increase. Estrella also told Elsa that if anything gets broken in the Gotohan, the amount of the broken item will be deducted from her salary. Estrella also told Elsa that from that day moving forward, Elsa must call her: "Madame"! Elsa agreed to everything that Estrella said. Elsa did not feel bad about the situation. Elsa just told herself that the reason why her Boss did what she did was for her to first learn how to be a follower so that in the future she could also be a leader!

The first day that Elsa assumed all the position in the Gotohan, she got very exhausted! But again, she never complained. She accepted her new job and simply looked at the brightside of things! She told herself that: "At least I have a job."

Thirteen days after Elsa took on all the duties in the Gotohan, in what seem to be an ordinary Saturday morning, Estrella told Elsa to get the Gotohan really tidy and cook more goto and mami because after she attends the taping of Walang Tulugan by the Master Showman, she will be inviting over all the members of Kuya Germs's fans club! They will also conduct their meeting in the Gotohan.

Estrella told Elsa further that while she is cooking goto and mami, she must also make sure that all the dishes are washed properly, the dining area is clean, the toilet floor is scrubbed, the cash register is well guarded, the picture frames on the wall and wiped, and while resting, she must also make a banner to welcome the members of Kuya Germs's fans club! Estrella also reminded Elsa not to forget to dive into the pot of boiling goto. Again, Elsa did not complain! All that she was able to say was: "Yes, Madame!" Elsa knew that the reason why her Boss wanted her to do all those chores was for her to learn how to have initiative.

After Estrella left, Elsa went on to do her tasks! She performed her duties well and as usual, never complained. Infact, she was a bit excited to see the members of Kuya Germs’ fans club. She was also excited at the thought that Kuya Germs might also show up. And if that happens she will have an easier time taking photographs of the Master Showman. And if she has pictures of the Master Showman, her Boss will be very delighted!

From early morning until early afternoon, the gotohan was filled with customers as usual. Elsa had to attend to all of them and perform multiple tasks. By around 4:03 PM, there were only 2 customers. So, Elsa wasn't very busy anymore! She has already washed the dishes, cleaned the dining area, scrubbed the toilet floor, balanced the earnings of the Gotohan, dusted the picture frames, made a banner to welcome the members of Kuya Germs’ fans club, and dove at the pot of boiling goto.

Elsa was exhausted and so she sat for a while. Before she knew it she was fast asleep. And very quickly she was dreaming. She dreamt that her Boss rewarded her with a vacation at the beach. She was with her Bestfriend and they were both wearing sexy bathing suit. She and her bestfriend were playing along the beach. After playing, they decided sun bathe. Elsa applied tanning lotion to her Bestfriend and The Bestfriend returned the favor to her. Elsa and her bestfriend were both enjoying the sun bath when suddenly she felt the heat to be getting stronger! It seems that the sun has decided to get closer to earth. Elsa felt very hot and she felt like her skin was already burning. She looked at her Bestfriend but all she saw was herself in the beach. Elsa was so frightened that it was at that point that she woke up!

When Elsa opened her eyes, she saw the 2 customers, who were earlier eating goto, ranning out of the Gotohan! Elsa ran after the two thinking that the customers were running away with the payment. But when she was outside the gotohan already, she saw more people and heard them screaming: "Sunog! Sunog! Call the Fire Department!" Elsa noticed that the people were pointing at her direction. When Elsa turned her back, she saw the Gotohan already on fire! Elsa was shocked! Out of instinct, she ran back inside and tried to extinguish the fire using the hose from the toilet. But the fire has already spread that there was nothing else that she could do. The fire was already spreading fast and so she quickly grab the first thing that she saw. It was the big Kaldero filled with goto. She carried the heavy kaldero filled with hot goto out of the gotohan.

After making sure that the kaldero was safe in one corner of the street, Elsa decided to go back to the gotohan to save somemore things. But there were many people blocking her way all screaming to call the fire department but none actually helped! Before Elsa knew it, the entire Gotohan was completely destroyed by fire! Nothing was saved except for the heavy kaldero which was still filled with hot goto!

When the fire has died down and the only evidence of the fire was the burned woods and smoke, Elsa took the Kaldero from the corner of the street and stood in front of the burned Gotohan. Elsa was so worried about what her Boss would do to her! Elsa was worried but she did not complain! She knew that the Gotohan got burned for a reason. She knew that the reason why the Gotohan got burned at a time when she was all alone was so that she could learn how to extinguish a fire all by herself! Elsa was wishing that her Boss would also understand the reason.

At around 6:01 PM, Almost two hours after the fire, Estrella arrived at the now burned Gotohan with the other members of Kuya Germs’ fans club! Upon seeing what was left of the Gotohan, Estrella became hysterical! At first she wasn't paying attention to Elsa who was at that time still carrying the kaldero with goto. She also did not hear Elsa who kept saying: "I am very sorry Madame. Please forgive me!" Estrella was so hysterical that the other members of the fans club tried to pacify her but she wouldn't calm down. Until one member suggested that Estrella be left alone for a while so that she could breathe some air. When the members of the fans club placed her down, it was then that Estrella stood up. She strikes a pose and said: "Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen! Standing before you is none other than Miss Estrella Marte! 27 years of age with vital statistic of 36-25-36! Standing 5 feet and 11 inches tall. Former Actress, Former Beauty Queen, Former Commercial Model, and now Former Owner of Estrella's Gotohan! My favorite animal is a Lion! And I do believe that Alms, alms, alms, spare me a piece of bread, spare me your mercy, I am a beautiful woman, so sexy, without any more business and so angry! Vengeance is not God's! It's mine! It's mine! And so, I declare that Elsa, you are fired! Vengeance is mine!"

After Estrella's speech, the members of the fans club gave Estrella a big round of applause and then they hurriedly ran away! Elsa was about to put her hands together as well when suddenly she saw Estrella charging before her! Estrella slapped her face 4 times and then kicked her body 8 times! While Estrella was hurting Elsa, She kept saying “All my pictures are gone! Who would believe that I was once an Actress? A Beauty Queen? A Commercial Model? A Business Woman and a Fan of Kuya Germs?"

Elsa took all the beatings and not once did she beg Estrella to stop. Elsa did not complain about Estrella firing her. Elsa did not complain about Estrella slapping her. Elsa did not complain about Estrella kicking her. Elsa also did not complain when Estrella poured all the goto to her and threw the heavy kaldero on her face. Elsa did not mind getting bruises as a result. She knew that the only reason why her Boss did what she did was because she was very upset!

After beating Elsa really hard, Estrella decided to faint! But before she collapse, she took her fake Brown Louis Vitton bag and put out her makeup kit. Estrella applied full make up, complete with blue mascara, nose line, check eye, beehive hairdo, lip liner, and peach colored blush on!

"Passion is a positive obsession. Obsession is a negative passion." - Paul Carvel

The Sepulchral Storyteller

Adnos Uyañe Plein was born on Marcius Mensis on the atomic number of Chronium in the Pearl of the Orient Seas that has Seven Thousand One Hundred Seven Islands. Adnos use to have a Mother and a Father until some regretful circumstances took both away. Adnos has a collection of feathered little blue notebooks. Adnos always speaks the cruel truth. Adnos looks at grownups and see the child that dwells in each. Adnos listens to the grownups speak and hears the child in them whimper.

The Lousy Letter

Dear Readers,

It is my sad duty to inform you that this story is filled with sad, miserable and unpleasant events in the life of a young girl named Elsa! In this page you will also read about children going to bed hungry, love evaded women, truth clouded with doubts, stormy weather, deadly ant bites, wet socks, old green jackets and crumpled paper.

If you feel that you are not ready to read such kind of story because you believe that the world is too perfect and life is so good to spend and waste time reading about how dejected other people's lives are, then you may leave now. I would understand. But if you derive contentment out of knowing that there are other people out there whose life is more deplorable than yours, then stay. Read along! React!

But again, I warn you! Reading this story may not be a very pleasant experience! Believe me.

On this page I wont be talking about weekend picnics, chicken noodle soup, red roses, hot coffee, teddy bears and happy ending! I have not heard and so I could not share any real life Fairy tale. All that I know and all that I could share is Elsa's sad story. Thus the title of this narrative: The agony of Elsa (an allegoric chronicle of a regrettable affair)!

The Nasty News

The Pinpointed Person

Daniel Handler is an author, screenwriter and accordionist. He is best known for his work under the pen name Lemony Snicket. Handler was born in San Francisco, California. He attended Commodore Sloat Elementary, Herbert Hoover Middle School and Lowell High School. Handler graduated from Wesleyan University in 1992.He is an alumnus of the San Francisco Boys Chorus. Handler is married to Lisa Brown, a graphic artist that he met in college.They have a son, Otto, who was born around Halloween 2003. They live in an old Victorian house in San Francisco. Handler's mother is retired City College of San Francisco Dean, Sandra Handler, and his father, Louis Handler, is an accountant. He also has a younger sister, Rebecca Handler. Handler is politically active and helped form LitPAC. In the June 10, 2007 edition of The New York Times Magazine, Handler reveals ambivalence toward his wealth, and the expectations it creates. He states he is often asked for money for charitable causes and often gives. In an interview conducted by the 667 Dark Avenue fan site, Daniel Handler gave his personal philosophy as "Never refuse a breath mint". Although Handler has a Jewish background and considers C. S. Lewis to be an influence,he describes himself as a secular humanist.In addition, he says "I'm not a believer in predetermined fates, being rewarded for one's efforts. I'm not a believer in karma. The reason why I try to be a good person is because I think it's the right thing to do. If I commit fewer bad acts there will be fewer bad acts, maybe other people will join in committing fewer bad acts, and in time there will be fewer and fewer of them".

The Multifarious Miscellaneous

The Pathetic Poll

The Pensive Prayer

Dear Lord and my God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit I believe that You are dwelling in spirit in the deepest center of my soul. I adore you, I love you and I trust in you; for you are the source of my being and my life in all that I think, and say and do. Help me to see you in the hearts of others and to see the reflection of You in everything that You have made. Help me also to understand the things that I cannot change. May your name be praised, blessed and glorified forevermore. Amen.