Peyton Manning Hits Back At Cybernetics Accusations

Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning fired back Saturday night at an upcoming Al Jazeera report that links him to a cybernetic ring from the future, calling the allegation “complete gah-bage”.

A documentary set to air Sunday on the always reliable Al Jazeera alleges that a cyborg body was transported through time to Manning’s wife after he underwent neck surgery in 2011. In a statement through his sponsor at SkyNet on Saturday, Manning vehemently disputed the claims.

“The allegation that I would do something like that is complete gah-bage and is totally made up,” said the Pro Bowler “It never happened. Never. I really can’t believe somebody would put something like this on the air. I mean in order to do something like that the cyborg would have to be completely covered by organic material. Whoever said this is making stuff up.”

The report by Al Jazeera, titled “The Terminator” used British hurdler Liam Collins as an undercover investigator. Collins connected with a robotic engineer at Cyberdyne Systems, who told him of the scheme to transport cyborgs from the future.

Human killing cyborgs were banned by the NFL in 1984 as part of the league’s collective bargaining agreement with players. The NFL did not start testing until 2014, it is unclear if there is a loophole since the alleged cyborg is from 2029.

Manning said he could provide an alibi and asked for help in finding his witness, a young Los Angeles college student and waitress named Sarah Connor. Manning offered to step down while the investigation continued, but made a promise to his fans, “I’ll be back”.

In an unrelated note, police are searching for a suspect in connection to the robbery of a biker’s clothes, boots and motorcycle outside Mile High Stadium.