The last week of training has been epic. My training has kicked up (another) notch, and I’m reaching goals I never thought I could. My eating has been on track and I definitely have my mojo back after it went missing.

I even managed to get my boyfriend into the gym last week, which was absolutely awesome. It was so nice to share such a massive part of my life with him. He did SO well, managed to smash out some 130kg deadlifts – pretty amazing for a first timer.

SO – this is where I’m at.

BENCH

2 sets of 5 x 45kg
1 set 3 x 52.5kg
2 sets 1 x 57.5kg

5 sets of 10 x 30kg

DEADS

3 x 130kgs (you can see the vid for my deadlifts on my TGWL facebook page – you might as
well hit like while you’re there)

SQUATS

5 x 62.5kg
3 x 70kg
1 x 75kg

SO HAPPY! Lifting is the best buzz – I’m not sure why it’s taken so long to get into it!

So I read something incredible the other day – my Dad posted it on his facebook and it fits in perfectly with how I’ve been thinking.

Critics and Haters are only good for one thing. They let you know you’re doing exactly what you should be doing.

Instead of getting mad:
– Keep outworking them
– Keep outsmarting them
– Keep innovating faster than they can
– Keep enjoying and supporting the people that matter in your life

They will twist what you say, and do their best to set you up to fall… but there is one thing that they can’t do…and that’s BE you.

And that’s kind of why they’re so upset in the first place.”

Haters gonna hate, but lucky for me, I don’t have many haters around me. I got rid of them ages ago. I have come across one during my mission the last few months. It was actually an ex boyfriend who thought he needed to tell me that nobody cared about my story, and that I am what is wrong with society at the moment.

How he came to this conclusion baffles me, but the amazing realisation that came from this was that this is HIS issue. NOT MINE. And he can take his issue far far away from me! And once I realised this, a slight wave of happiness came over me.

When I made the decision to move to Australia, one of my closest mates at the time told me that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. For me, it was an adventure – finding a job, finding a place to live, meeting new people – to him, there was too much room for failure. But isn’t that what life is about? When trying new things they either work, or they don’t – you’ve got a 50/50 chance, so why not give it a go?

The point of today’s rant – haters gonna hate. And when you hear someone say “they’re just jealous” they’re absolutely right.

Thegirlwholifts lost her mojo this past week. I don’t know where it went, but I struggled to get it back. My weight was getting me down and I lost sight of what was really important. My brain keeps coming back to weight loss, and I’m becoming quite fixated on it, which isn’t good. When I get depressed about it, it seems my whole body follows pretty quickly. I got tired and run down, I forgot the basics of what I was doing, which sets off my emotional eating, which sets off the guilt, which sets off another round of depression – it’s a vicious cycle. A vicious cycle that came at terrible timing – Easter DID NOT help things. WAY too much chocolate was consumed. The good thing is that I’ve kept up with my training – THAT I am proud of. I’m pretty lucky to have Mark from Top Health PT pushing me along – we got through it pretty well actually. I manage to squat out 5 sets of 5: 60kg, 65kg and 67.5kg squats. Impressive for a bad week, if I may say so myself!

I found myself staring at my vision board this morning, trying to find the motivation that it gave me a few weeks ago. I stared at the photos, remembering the feeling I had when they were taken, and what they mean to me, I read my goals, I read my key words – words like strength, happy, love, family, friends, exercise, sunshine (things that mean something to me) – and I realised there was a word missing from it – SKINNY. Not once, has this mission been about being skinny, it was always been about my health, and getting to a healthy, happy place.

I’ve always been a big girl, but I’ve always hated it. I got teased, called fat, told by doctors that all of my PCOS issues and endometriosis would be magically cured if I just lost a few kgs. I’ve always wanted to be skinny. But skinny isn’t the answer – healthy is. And I need to remind myself of this. Everyday. Yes, I have a goal weight, but does this translate to being skinny? In my mind maybe…but to the rest of the world probably not. Healthy to me is quite easy to put into words, skinny is just an image in my mind. A girl wrote a beautiful article on Stuff.co.nz today that brought me to tears because of how true it rung to me. You can read it here.

In the world of the internet, skinny has some pretty bad connotations – anorexic, unhealthy, ugly…so why is it something so many of us “big” girls strive for?

This leads me to my next question – What stipulates healthy? A “normal” BMI? A size 6? Being able to run 10k? Being happy?

Here’s what it means to me

– Getting off metformin, which I’m on for my PCOS
– Getting my hormones back to a normal balance
– Getting down to 80kgs
– Being happy
– Being content

Mia (my food angel) has got me taking B vitamins, and I think they kicked in today as well. Coz I found my mojo. I’ve never been a vitamin taker and I wish that I’d gotten on this train earlier. B vitamins help with relieving stress, supporting the body through physical and mental health, energy, healthy nervous and cardiovascular system. MY GOSH they have helped. I had my buzz back today, and it was magical.

So last week I booked tickets for me and my boyfriend for a 10 day holiday in New Zealand. Bit of time in Christchurch catching up with the family and my friends, then heading down to Wanaka for a few nights. When I left NZ 2 years ago, never did I think that I would end up here. Happy, completely in love and on my way to compete in my first powerlifting comp.

Leaving NZ was a bit of a spur of the moment decision. I came over to Oz for a holiday in November 2011, had the most amazing time – then January 1st 2013 I bought the ticket and 6 weeks later I was here. I spent a month down at my Dad’s sorting my life out, deciding what I was going to do, then it was up to Sydney, job interviews and then apartment, friends and a new life. I’m not going to lie, I may have been running – from what I’m not sure, life I think. Christchurch was rough at the time. Aftershocks after the earthquake were still running hard and we were all trying to come to terms with what our new post-earthquake life meant. I was stuck in some pretty toxic friendships, and they were bringing me down pretty bad. I saw Australia as a pretty drastic way of leaving them all behind. Was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Moving countries is something I suggest to everyone – at least once. I’ve done it twice. England and then Australia. It’s liberating. Scary, but liberating. It certainly wasn’t a walk in the park either. I made some stupid decisions, moved house 3 times in about 6 months, and definitely thought about moving back to NZ once or twice. But I made it through and now I’m here… loving life, living it huge and ready for the next challenge.

With 8 weeks to go till NZ (and counting) I thought I’d better set some goals to help me through. I’ve discovered that the old “eat no crap and drink no alcohol” type of goals don’t work for me. I don’t know how they work for anyone. I LIKE FOOD. I need to set goals that are realistic, but that will help me still reach my major goal.
Mark and I have also started on a new training program. We change it up quite frequently, which is GREAT for someone like me. We’re really working towards the big lifts and I’ve hit a new PB for my deadlift… 145kgs BOOM!

The smile on my face that day was pretty huge, and MAN it felt good. The reaction from the guys in the gym made it even better.

My strong days are the ones where I leave the gym with nothing except a big smile on my face, when I struggle to walk to the train station, and when I end up sitting in my seat going over what just happened. A strong day is when I remember why I’m doing all of this – the commute, the training, the eating, everything. A strong day is where I LOVE every second of it. A strong day is when I know I’m doing exactly the right thing. Strong days feel accomplished.

Thursday was one of those days.

This is what I did:

Bench: New PB of 60kg for 2

Squats: 80kgs to failure

Deadlift: 3 sets finishing off at 120kgs for 4

Strong days are also days where I am reminded how lucky I am to have the support crew around me. Mark my trainer, the amazing network of team Top Health PT (also known as team Make It Happen), my friends, family, boyfriend…they all help in making me stronger.

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have”

Today I went out and had a bit of a pamper day – I like to keep my girly side. I went and had my hair and nails done and feel amazing

I’m not normally a very stressed person. Anyone who knows me, normally sees me as pretty cool, calm and collected. So last week, I had a bit of a breakdown and it scared the bejeezes out of me. I was trying to make my antioxidant smoothie bowl, made up of a handful of spinach, a handful of cos lettuce, berries, protein powder, ¼ cup coconut milk, maca powder, cinnamon, coconut oil, ¼ avocado and some ice (thanks to mademymia for the recipe) and my blender wouldn’t blend. So I pushed my hand in to smush the ingredients up and ended up slicing my finger on the blade. Normally this wouldn’t bother me, I’d just have a bit of a “what a dick” moment, but instead on that particular morning I found myself bursting into tears, and this pretty much set me up for the day. I struggled quite a bit last week, I was incredibly tired, stressed from work and it then mixed in with being a bit emotional…it didn’t work well for me.

There were a couple of things that I noticed – I haven’t been hungry, at dinner especially and I’ve been waking up at 4am nearly climbing out of bed before I’ve realised I still have an hour more of sleep to go. Work has been quite busy lately, and I was struggling to see how much longer I can keep going the way I’m going. (I will, coz I love my job, but last week was definitely the hardest so far)

I emailed my darling Mia who gave me some amazing ideas. Stress is such a horrible thing to deal with, and people deal with it in so many different ways. I go as follows: fine fine fine fine fine, not fine and crash. I’ll keep going till the very last possible moment.

I really needed to bring my stress levels down. Stress causes adrenaline, which makes your body think it’s going into survival mode – survival mode = body thinking “hey there’s no food so I better hang onto this fat that’s hanging around” which ain’t good, and this mixed in with adrenal fatigue is a recipe for disaster. You can read more about how I’m dealing with that here. So (thanks to Mia’s advice) I ran out and bought some Rescue Remedy. This stuff is amazing. It actually is instant relief. I left my desk and sat in a quiet room and did some deep breathing for 5 mins and then I was good to go. The tears came pretty freely during the 5 minutes, but man I felt better. I can remember using Rescue Remedy as a child before music exams, but never thought of using it as an adult. This stuff will be staying in my handbag from now on.

The other thing that’s been worrying me is my 4am wakeup. It’s never in a panic, I just kind of wake up and start getting up. Or I’ll wakeup already half getting up, or looking at my phone – that was the worrying bit. Anyways, according to Chinese medicine, certain hours of the evening link to certain emotional or physical issues – and 4am is linked to the liver and to grief/loss. I’ve been a bit homesick lately, and this might be my subconscious way of letting my body know about it. This might take bit of time to deal with, but at least I know what might be causing my interrupted sleep. I’ve also started drinking dandelion tea, which is great for the liver.

By the time Friday came around I was done. I just wanted to go home straight after work and cry in a corner. Technically, I needed to go to the gym, I had only had 2 workouts that week, and there was a tiny part of me that still thought it would be a good idea. But I rebelled. I went home and I think it was the best decision I could ever have made. So what did I do instead? I got home early and sat up with my future mother in law and had few wines and talked about my childhood. She’s a pretty spectacular lady who I’m very blessed to have in my life, she had picked me up from the train station and we had a good old gasbag about everything and anything. My boyfriend came home after work and we watched a movie (well I feel asleep and he watched it) it was perfect.

Saturday morning I woke up with a decision. I was going to take the weekend off – no stressing about food, exercise, weights, work..anything… I was just going to do and eat whatever felt natural.

Saturday my darling boyfriend took me shopping. Yep, he’s one of those boyfriends… He knew I was feeling crappy, and had discovered a new shop that he knew I would love, so Saturday he took me out for a green juice and then to shop. I ended up falling in love with quite a few of the clothes, and my poor credit card took a beating. BUT the best thing about this shopping trip? COMPLIMENTS. SO MANY COMPLIMENTS. The girls in the shop all complimented me on my figure and how good the clothes looked, random strangers told me I looked beautiful and my darling boyfriend made me feel like a million dollars. It’s been a while since I felt like this, and I embraced every second. The shop was called Retrobilia – you can check out their stuff here. I’ve always been quite a fan of the 50s and 60s rockabilly style – and it seems my body is a fan as well. I used to do a bit of burlesque dancing, so it was nice to get close to that again. Burlesque was a fun time for me, and I would seriously suggest every woman gives it a go. It’s such a great way to become familiar with your body – and you really learn to love all those curves (as well as learn some saucy moves for the bedroom). Anyways, here are a few photos from my shopping trip.

I also relaxed up a little bit on my food this weekend. This didn’t mean that I ate crap all weekend, and overate during every meal – but I ate what felt and tasted natural, and as it turned out – this was all pretty close to what I would eat normally (plus some cake and icecream). It was just so nice to shut off for the weekend and concentrate on relaxing and rejuvenating.

And now? I’m back in the gym with Mark and shit it felt good. My weight? Hasn’t changed. My mind however feels refreshed and repowered. Ready to hit it hard this week. I can do this, and I will.

Change is as good as a holiday…or so they say… But change has happened and now it’s time to embrace it. My trainer, Jake, has decided to move on to a different line of work so unfortunately won’t be training me anymore. I’m pretty gutted, as was really enjoying the journey we were on… BUT things aren’t as terrible as they could be, coz I’m back with Mark, my original trainer. We’ve had four sessions so far and they have been awesome. Mark’s dedication to the job and love for what he does is infectious – so it’s hard not to feel really motivated at the moment.

The sessions are a bit different, lots more attention on my technique which means I’ve had to take the weight down a little bit but I’m still loving it. I’ve been eating well, drinking loads of water and feeling pretty good. So I’ve made the decision (thanks to a slight push from my darling friend Kate) that it’s time to compete. Actually put my powerlifting into action and see where it can take me. It’s a scary but exciting step, and I know I have an amazing cheer squad who will be behind me every step of the way. The other night we did squats, lots of them, with 30kgs – and this time we went aaaaaaall the way down, instead of the ¾ squats I was doing before. Learning to engage my glutes, which will help so much more in competition. I am still feeling it today…

Sunday night I caught up with my amazing nutritionist. She really is an incredible person and I feel so blessed to have her watching over me. Anyways, it seems my morning cortisol levels are really low. From what I have read (and please correct me if I’m wrong), cortisol levels rise and fall during a 24hr day, and it is normally at its highest between 6am-8am. Cortisol is produced by the adrenal gland and is often known the “stress” hormone as it is secreted at higher levels during the bodies “fight or flight” response to stress and is responsible for several of the stress related changes in the body. It helps support blood sugar levels and helps metabolism.

With my crazy hours and lack of sleep, my adrenal glands are under huge amounts of stress which is causing adrenal fatigue – hence the low levels of cortisol in the mornings. Adrenal fatigue is normally characterised by the following:

– Feeling tired for no reason
– Trouble getting up in the morning
– Rundown or overwhelmed
– Difficultly bouncing back from illness or stress
– Craving sweet and salty snacks
– More awake, alert and energetic after 6pm

The shocking and hard thing is – I’ve been feeling fatigued like this for a while, but just saw it as quite normal, until now. I’ve been commuting 2.5hrs each way to work for nearly 9 months now, and this tired feeling has slowly snuck up on me. It’s really hard finding a balance between making sure I have my life organised, spending time with my boyfriend and sleeping. I get asked so often how I do it – and I’m not really sure…it’s the choice I have made at this point of my life, so I just need to get it done. Fatigue is different from just being tired…it’s hard to concentrate, “foggy” feeling in the brain, and just a general overall run down feeling.

So what can I do? Apart from try and get more sleep at night (which is going to be difficult) I am now starting that mission to find the answer – will keep you posted.

For now, I’m making sure I’m staying as relaxed as possible, deep breathing, and today at lunch even did some stretching our meeting room floor.

BUT on a happy note my weight is slowly dropping, which is great. It’s such a satisfying feeling knowing I’m treating my body right, and it’s responding in a positive way.

Being proud of yourself is a funny one – but I think it’s something everyone should embrace. Even if it’s just looking yourself in the mirror and saying “You did good today” you need to congratulate yourself on the milestones. It feels a little bit weird at first, but stick with it. Being about to look yourself in the eye in the mirror and give a compliment is such a huge part of loving your awesome self. And trust me – you are awesome. Try writing it down on a piece of paper and reading it back to yourself, you won’t be able to wipe the smile off your face.
Today I am so unbelievable proud of what I have achieved.

– I had a sneaky weigh in this morning and I sat on 88.2 – words cannot even describe how it feels to weigh this. 90kgs has literally stuck with me for months and months, and to see a number under that was incredible. Proud!

– I also had a deadlift session tonight. About 12 weeks ago I reached a PB of 140kgs, but after Christmas and then injuring my back I struggled to get back up there. Tonight I made it – 140kgs. We then followed with 4 x 8 100kgs and then 4 x 6 100kgs. It ruined me and MAN it felt good. Proud!

– I’m also LOVING watching my body change. I have a waist now, my legs are looking amazing and I’m noticing a change in my arms and back. Proud!

By the time the weekend hits, I’m pretty buggered, so I like to take some timeout to do some meditation, yoga and reflection. On Saturdays especially, I like to go out for a massive walk, and then come home and cook myself some eggs and a smoothie, sit and enjoy the morning. I can’t help but laugh at how much I have changed over the last month or so. Before, I would literally just eat toast with honey or marmite…all day in the weekends. I would feel depressed, gross and sink deeper into the unhealthy lifestyle. But now…BOOM! There’s no stopping me. I think it’s really important to take time to reflect on what you have learned when you’re going through a change. It makes it easier to realise just how far you have come, notice what you’re finding difficult and make a plan to overcome these difficulties.

For me, my difficulties are when I’m tired, this is when my sugar cravings and fatty food cravings hit the hardest. So this is where being prepared is SO important. With my crazy commute to and from work every day, I’m having to have one night during the week where I cook and get to bed a little later than normal. It’s hard and I get grumpy, but I just have to push on through and remind myself WHY I’m doing it.

This morning I’m sitting down with my avo and cacoa smoothie (Thanks Mia) and having a think about what I’ve learned so far…

Support: There is no way I could do this without the support and love that I have. Don’t try and do it yourself. There is so much knowledge and advice out there, but you need to get out and get it. Ask questions, seek the knowledge and learn. Read my post on Reaching Out for more on this.

Be Happy: This is one of the most important lessons I have learned. You need to be happy, you need to enjoy what you are doing. Find what you enjoy and stick with it. For me – it’s my weight lifting. People actually think I’m crazy when they learn how much I lift, but for me, nothing beats that feeling I get after a big weights session. I think this is so important in all aspects of your life – have a hobby! Whether it’s scrapbooking, or collecting shells, doing puzzles or gardening, have something that is just yours, and makes your soul happy when you do it. Take time out each day to be grateful for what you have. It may feel lame, but after a while it just feels like part of your routine. Every morning when I’m having my cup of hot water and apple cider vinegar I sit, smile and be thankful. It sets me up for a good day every day. Read further about being happy here.

Life only comes around once, so do whatever makes you happy, and be with whoever makes you smile.

Learn: Take time each week to do some research. There are so many different ideas, diets, fads, success stories and things to try. RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH. Know what you’re doing before you do it. I’m very lucky to be working with a holistic nutritionist who I am learning SO much from and I love it.

Plan and be prepared: I can’t say this enough, PLAN PLAN PLAN. I read once that if you don’t plan you plan for failure. Man this is true! Use an afternoon in the weekend to plan and prepare your meals. Lately, I’ve also taken much pleasure in cooking my meals. It’s a real feeling of success when you look in the fridge and see healthy food that I’ve cooked. Be prepared for those moments when you want something extra – this really eliminates any chance of going to the crap food.

Find your motivation: I feel there are two sorts of motivation – external and internal. External being the people around you – for me it’s my trainers, my boyfriend, my parents, my friends and my nutritionist. Internal being the small things you have that you do just for you – I have my inspiration board, my tip jar, and the little bit of happiness that I get when I know that I’ve worked my hardest. I’ve written more on this here.

Breath: I never knew the importance of this until recently. Take a few minutes every hour or so to take 10 deeps breaths. That’s all you need to do – trust me, you’ll notice the difference.

Yesterday:
Bike – 30secs on and 30secs off
Bike – 1min on 30secs off
Dumbell row and over-head press
Walking lunges and 30secs of steps
Finished with 4mins of 20secs on 10secs off on the rowing machine

Tonight:
DEADLIFTS (my fav) – Worked my way up to 120kgs. Did 2 sets x4 and x3
Barbell rows – 40kgs 5 sets of 10
Seated row – not sure how much weight but it was heavy. 3 sets of 8
Single arm row – 25kg dumbells 5 sets of 8

DEAD! But SOOOOOO happy! My fitness seems to be reaching a new level. Which is awesome. I have a love/hate relationship with intervals, but the fitter I seem to be getting, the more I seem to love it. And tonight I loved it.

So as you all know I’ve been working very closely with the amazing Amelia (verde-health.com) who has been helping with my diet. One of the things I’ve really been working on is being conscious of my eating – enjoying the food and really enjoying each new dish I’m eating. I’m actually really enjoying eating new foods and trying new things – it’s a big step for me.

But one thing I do still struggle with is turning down yummy stuff. Candy, biscuits, anything on the “you shouldn’t eat this” list. So I’ve learned a new trick, and it’s working out pretty well. Learn to say less.

So how does “saying less” work? WELL. Previously when I’ve been eating healthy (or on a diet) I’ll live by the principle of saying NO to everything that doesn’t “fit” in the diet, I’ll say no over and over and over again until I can’t do it anymore and I’ll end up eating well over what I should. So now, I’m saying less. Still enjoying those treats but learning to say less and be satisfied with it! We had biscuits in the office the other day, and normally I would say no, no, no, no, ohhhhhhhhh ok…grab a couple, and then suddenly I’ve eaten most of them. But now, I just say less. Have one, enjoy it (thoroughly) and then be done with it. It’s a step in the direction of self-control.

Now self-control is a difficult one, and something I REALLY struggle with. It’s like a switch in my brain just turns off and I just eat everything yummy. Everything I can see. I think by “saying less” I can set myself a limit and enjoy it. Binge eating was a regular event for me… like I’ve said before I would eat every time I felt some sort of emotion: happy, sad, angry, bored… looking back I’m quite impressed at how much I could eat (read emotional eating part 1 and part 2)

Today was pretty hard and it was the first time I felt those food emotions flood back. I had quite a stressful morning which turned into a rather stressful day. My yummy food brain clicked into over drive and I wanted food. Bad food. Now. BUT 100 points to me coz I worked my way through it and rewarded myself with deadlifts. BEST REWARD EVER.

Today I thought I’d get a little bit personal, as it’s been playing on my mind quite a bit lately. Negative influences and their impact on your health journey. I was looking at photos from a few years ago the other day– when I was at my biggest and I actually have to pat myself on the back at how far I’ve come. Both mentally and physically. I’ve still got a long way to go – but man I’ve done well. I mainly look at my mental health – I was pretty low back then. I’m not sure why I didn’t just do what I’m doing now – I know my mother tried and tried and I even think to some extent I WANTED to – but just didn’t. I much preferred drinking and eating (and guys) to mask any sadness and self-loathing. There always seemed to be a drama going on as well. With friends, uni, guys, and my body – I would find every excuse under the sun.

The first step into a healthier life was to get rid of the negative energy surrounding me. It’s amazing how fresh you feel once you walk away from any negativity and fill your life with positive influences. And here is the scary part: Yes – this may mean you will walk away from some friendships, and do you know what – that’s ok! If that friendship, no matter how long you’ve known each other or what you’ve been through together, is a negative influence, take a deep breath and walk away. Your body and your mind will thank you for it. This was a really tough one for me to realise, as friends are a massive part of my life. As someone who was bullied pretty badly in highschool, having lots of “friends” was important to me. It made me feel important. WOAH, this was wrong. Right now, I have the most amazing network of positive friends who support me through every step of the way – no negativity at all!

I read this the other day and it really stuck with me

“Working out is hard; being overweight is hard. Which hard would you prefer?”

Being overweight is hard, trust me. Not being able to find clothes that fit, constantly thinking “I wish I could wear that”, not to mention that health issues. But once you take that step out of that “overweight” box, you won’t want to step back in. I’m still overweight (according to my doctor) but the difference is, now I THINK healthy, I EAT healthy, I AM healthy.

Here is what I’ve done for a healthier, positive life

– Remove the negativity – people included. This is hard and may take some time, but it’s
worth it. Surround yourself with positivity!
– Be thankful – every morning take the time to be thankful for the good things in your life
– Laugh everyday and SMILE!
– Be an optimist – see the best in every situation.
– Realise that happiness is a choice! YOU can decide to be happy! YOU can decide to be positive!

This week is hard. I have had a ridiculous headache all week which has put me in a very mad mood. I’m pretty sure it’s sugar withdrawls, and it sucks. I’ve been reading lots about it, but seriously body – get over it. I caved a little in the afternoon on Monday and got myself a skim chai latte, and what a difference it made…I managed to get through the afternoon at least. It’s weird though, I’m not craving candy, not at all – the thought of a bag of candy right now actually makes me feel a little queasy, but obviously my subconscious still things it’s a great idea. How I managed to get through bags of candy at a time and not feel anything really baffles me! I just have to think positive! This will get easier!

Anyways, Monday night was legs – which I love. I love how strong my thighs are (read Thunder Thighs regarding my love for my thighs) and I love how far I can push myself. Tonight I even felt strong enough to do some squats which was very exciting – we only did up to 60kgs (50kgs less than my max) but after a few sets of 10 I was feeling it. We followed these up with some single legpress (100kg thanks very much) some stair running with weights and some intervals – I was wrecked!! I love sessions like this – I’m so exhausted I can’t talk, all I can do is concentrate on the next breath and making sure I don’t face plant. I’ve finished off on such a buzz, and my headache magically went. Well done exercise, well done.

On Saturday I night I cooked possible one of the yummiest things ever. My boyfriend had invited his mate over for dinner and we cooked Kumara (or sweet potatoe) Pizza. Recipe thanks to Mia at verde-health. Slice kumara up into thin slices and cover a pizza tin as the base. Roast in oven for about 15mins, then cover with toppings. We put on some tomato paste, chicken, baby spinach, capsicum and onion and then cooked in the oven. When it came out we put on some avocado and this delicious mayo type sauce made from cashew nuts and coconut cream and then we ate it all. It was amazing. It went down an absolute treat and I’m pretty sure it will be a regular dish! What I’m starting to get my head around is integrating this new lifestyle into my old life…a merger. Like I’ve said before – I like to go out and socialise, it’s just now a matter of trying to still stick to my healthy eating plan, while keeping social. It’s ok to meet a friend for lunch and bring my salad in a container – no one is going to look at my strange! Although there are situations where this isn’t possible. On Saturday I was taken out for lunch by my bosses with one of our agents from Sweden – it was a buffet restaurant so I took a deep breath and loaded up on salads and chicken – it was tasty and satisfying and I didn’t leave with this horrid feeling of regret after stuffing my face with food I didn’t need. This is doable – I just have to do it!