Thursday, 22 May 2014

Through the years I've taught myself a great many things, guitar, programming, network administration, business management, inventory systems, and likely a number of things I've completely forgotten about. I've come to understand that ultimately these skills all stem from being a free-thinking problem solver rather than any other label one might try to place upon me. I realize that I owe these abilities to those who happened to be available and willing to lend their knowledge and time to either myself, or the project I was working on at the time. I also understand that unseen hands pointed me in the direction I needed to go, which is something that has really come into focus in recent years.

Lately, though, it is feeling more like knowledge is coming to me via some form of osmosis. While it's true that I have plenty of experience and history with computing and technology, I am reciting statistics I've never read and somehow being accurate, or, looking at problems I've never seen and solving them with no research with a high probability of being correct. This is not to say I am making no procedural or clerical errors at the new job, but then I've never been one to blindly follow rules until I fully grasp the 'why' behind them (wink). Besides, there are a great many things which can only be properly learned through the process of making mistakes, so long as those mistakes don't include packing your own parachute improperly, or not lighting a match to find the gas leak.

I've finally come to understand that my inability to find a comfortable niche in this world is not some family curse, but rather the gift of seeing that there is not much to take comfort in unless simply knowing that 'all is not right with the world and why' is supposed to be enough... Which, to one who solves problems, simply knowing can never be enough. Knowing is only half the battle.

I know I may appear to be limping along under the radar on a tank full of fumes, but the signs have been growing that what is coming is very nearly here. I see the geopolitics being played in this 'west vs everybody else' game as violence hits the streets of Africa, the middle East, the Mediterranean and eastern Europe, Venezuela, Thailand, and anywhere else 'the hunt for the real terrorists ' ends up. I know who sold our future at negative interest rates in favor of further rigging to roulette marble to continue spinning over a wheel populated solely of double zeros on a betting field containing no zeros at all.

Not that it makes any sense at all to watch the wolves gobble up a currency with no value merely to win the title 'king of the mountain' when the truth of that vista is to look down at your legs knee-deep in fly-infested shit and decomposing corpses of those too long dead to envy your victory.

But then, I suppose my discomfort level was not put in place to compel me to play roulette to begin with.

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

I know that I've been biding my time of late, enjoying the artifacts of a much too slowly dying age and delighting in the amped up insanity of those who've corrupted and stolen everything corruptible or stealable from us and whom have now entered a state of envy over the greenness of their coconspirators' lawns. The trouble is that I quite frankly have no idea what to expect going forward.

Maybe it was all said by the oracle in the matrix "nobody can see past the choices they don't understand". Ironic considering that presently I'm choosing not to choose, but then, that still means actively being inactive which is still something under my control. Perhaps I am simply waiting for something which has been moving slower than a snails pace, or maybe I am not meant to see the next phase, especially since I'd expected that to have begun some time ago.

I understand that things will have to get well beyond the boiling point to trigger the proper level of outrage in the majority of sleeping denizens. That's what all the distractions and anti-depressant prescriptions were meant to do... Working as intended...

It's winter here in Canada, despite any canonical implications that might generally associate with mid-May. There really is no Eco-tax expensive enough to remedy that given that "climate" means an ever changing atmosphere, thus making the asinine term "climate change" synonymous with "ever changing change" which is ultimately your pocket change becoming theirs. I understand that the sun has more to do with the planet's climate than we do regardless of whatever fancy charts are cooked up based on creative accounting and false math.

In fact, I just discovered that if I want to recycle a TV or computer monitor, I must pay $10 per screen, regardless of its type... Landfill is still free though... Work out that math and it illustrates just how Eco-friendly green fees and carbon credits are actually intended to be... There is also no system to account for the fact that I could have paid an Eco-tax at the time of purchase, especially when considering how these things are now built to die milliseconds after the warrantee expires, so we get to prepay a service that we still have to pay for... Damned on the front end, then rammed up the rear end... (sigh)

I am totally aware that things are not meant to make sense to create conditions in our head which lead us into the waiting arms of distractions or antidepressants... And I feel I've just come full-circle... So I am going to meander off into my day and commune with whatever has been maintaining my sanity thus far.