It’s because of the fucking fax machine emails. When we were erasing everything why didn’t we get those too? Thousands of messages released and half of them are about that motherfucking fax machine never working. Makes me look like Grandma.

Fuck him. Turncoat. I don’t want to hear that nerd’s name again. I never asked shit from him. He dicked around on his phone all day and got paid. Never once helped when the email was down. Ask him for one little lie to one House Select Committee and he pleads the fifth like a slimy bitch.

“Encryption is a growing concern in this industry and in our country. Like you, I want to keep my private life private. But as the former secretary of state, I know about the digital risks we face from foreign and domestic cyber criminals. There has to be an agreement from tech companies to work with government to ensure our safety as well as our privacy.”

“Many Americans are making extra money renting out a spare room, designing websites, selling products they design themselves at home. This on-demand or so-called gig economy is creating exciting opportunities and unleashing innovation, but it’s also raising hard questions about workplace protections and what a good job will look like in the future.”

Louis is a Chicago-trained writer and comedian with beautiful hair, a pretty good face, and an abundance of modesty. With 10 years in technology and 15 in writing and producing comedy, his work can be read on www.cagematch.org, www.mcsweeneys.net, and numerous dismayed Facebook users’ walls (before being hastily deleted). He currently lives with his similarly gay boyfriend in the dystopian hellscape of Silicon Valley.