Has anyone ever gone into anaphylactic shock from a blackfly bite? I get a swollen bump about the size of a small apple every time a blackfly bites me. It would really suck if a teeny tiny bug caused me to die.

Hey, drink an entire 2-4, smoke an entire carton and then hover over me in the grocery line, why don’t ya?

I still don’t have one of those stupid cookie warnings on any of my websites. If a person doesn’t know that pretty much every website uses cookies, then they deserve whatever bad thing happens to them… which will be nothing.

All my favourite artists are alcoholics who dropped out of high school. Internet please advise. #CakeVodka

I’ve grown as a person since this and no longer enjoy artificially flavoured liquors. I’m thinking of becoming one of those assholes with five different bottles of bitters. I’m thinking of saying “mouth feel” a lot.