The Oscars are only days away but the recession is now. My friends at Funny Or Die couldn’t wait to poke some fun at another possible hero that will rise from the ashes- Uncle Sam.

In a shot by shot parody of The Wrestler Trailer, Seth Morris and Alyssa Milano show us what would the film look like if it was a true American icon making a comeback. A lot of the videos I put on the web are often rip offs of video styles I enjoy so I have a lot of the respect for the piece. However I agree with the friends that watched it with me, I believe Alyssa Milano does a good Marisa Tomei but she should try channeling her character a bit more.

Seeing as the holiday spirit is beginning to wear off, I don’t feel ashamed directing you to the Los Angeles Metblog, where Jason Burns, one of my favorite Metrobloggers, has written a hilarious entry about the Yankees’ massive offseason. Many in DC, especially Tom Bridge, are still upset that the Nats missed out on Teixeira thanks to the Yankees, so this is appropriate fuel to add to the fire. Enjoy and Happy Holidays!

Everyone wanted to be a comedian. So in the 1990s (when admittedly some great comedy was still happening) there was just…too many. Cities like DC which had several big name comedy clubs saw demand drizzle and drip-folks weren’t flocking to live shows anymore because, frankly, there was a bit too much exposure and a bit too many people to see. Now DC has one club, the fabulous Improv which is where I learned how to do some stand up( strong language btw ) and-apart from the occasional appearance at Warner Theater for a mega act like George Carlin-is the only place to see a real headliner in town.

The strange thing is that even though there aren’t a lot of places to play there are a ton of comics in this town-a lot of them very good. Where are they all you ask? Well the circuit here in DC is mostly relegated to coffee houses or backrooms in bars once a week. Open Mic-which is where a schlep like me has to go to learn how to be a good comic-is kind of hard to come by. Here is a list of the shows available now-you’ll notice a lot of them aren’t in the beltway or even metro accessible making opportunities for a PT comic such as myself very limited.

Most of the reason I don’t do stand-up anymore is the hassle-Even the guys who do treat you right can only put you on once-tops twice-a month if you are a green like I am: You’re not filling in the seats with your following yet and its lame to have the same comic come up and do the same thing week in and week out. Just a few places to play on any given night and an incredible number of comics (one promoter once told me he gets a 150 emails a day looking to get time) makes for long open mic sets (I’ve seen 17 comics do 5-10 minutes each in one night. Yikes!) and not a lot of opportunity. No opportunity means no growth as a comic. No growth as a comic means less and less for you, the audience to see. So its a problem.

All of this is by way of setting the stage for the punchline-if you will. John Xereas is Riot Act Entertainment and I’ve always found him to be a pretty good guy. No longer at HR-57, John has been looking for a new place to open up not just a once a week show-but a full on, 7 nights a week, comedy club. Unfortunately a big box corporation furniture company is also bidding on the place and he fears it isn’t going to go his way.

Now look-I know this is a strange post and some of you might be reading it as “feel bad for my buddy who wants to open a comedy club” but it is a bit more than that. If you are a person who enjoys comedy, who would like to see more comedy take place or just have a competitor to the Improv in town (and I think this is a situation where competition would help both parties by the way) then I encourage you to read the letter John sent below (after the jump) and help act. If not-hey, no worries. I don’t know if it will do any good, but if you would like to give a try, as I am, then I invite you to do so.

I’m not a big Carlos Mencia fan (I know, the heresy), but I think there are many of you who would love to see him live at Dar Constitution Hall down at 18th and C. There are still plenty of tickets available for the 8pm show on Friday, November 14th, so head on over to Ticketmaster where they’re selling them for $42 a pop.

For those of you not familiar, Carlos is a stand-up comedian best known for his Comedy Central sketch comedy show Mind of Mencia. To sample the self-proclaimed “Equal Opportunity Offender,” check him out in this Youtube clip.

There is much to be excited about next weekend. First on that list is that my mother will be in town. Naturally I want to show her the best time that the DC area can offer. So without further adieu, our comedy destinations:

ROBIN WILLIAMS @ THE GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY

Friday, October 17, 2008 – 9:30pm

This event is sold out, and you will find that tickets are not available anywhere. You won’t even be able to find them on sites like eBay, StubHub, and Craigslist. Fortunately there are two other shows coming up in the area as part of his Weapons of Mass Destruction Tour. I highly recommend trying to get tickets to his show at the Landmark Theater in Richmond, VA on Thursday the 16th, and to his show at the Lyric Opera House in Baltimore, MD on Thursday the 23rd. For those of you who have not yet seen Williams stand-up, do yourself a favor and check out this Youtube clip.

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LEWIS BLACK: LET THEM EAT CAKE @ PATRIOT CENTER, FAIRFAX, VA

Saturday, October 18, 2008 – 8:00pm

This event is not sold out, so GET YOUR TICKETS NOW! Though Lewis is becoming increasingly well-known through his work on Comedy Central, it is important to get a sample of his work if you haven’t been exposed to him before. Try this Youtube clip… and this one. He is very political, and very angry. It’s a wildly entertaining combination. The best part is that the tickets are only $30 each- it’s a huge bargain compared to some of the other comics *cough Dane Cook cough*. It is also important to note that Lewis Black has no other events scheduled in this area well into 2009, so catch him now.

Famous for his work on Comedy Central’s Root of All Evil, and roaster of Bob Saget, Flavor Flav, William Shatner, Pamela Anderson, and Jeff Foxworthy, Greg Giraldo takes his stand-up talent to DC this weekend for five shows at renowned comedy club DC Improv. I really wish I could make it- this guy is excellent.

Tickets range from $17-$20 depending on the show, and there is a two item minimum for everyone in the showroom. I recommend dining there. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night tickets are available here. For a sample of Giraldo, check out this Youtube clip. And please let me know how the show is.