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Don't be an ass. Seriously. If you can't write, you can't write. Period! Don't steal my stuff... if you do, the wrath of the gods of Olumo rock will fall on your head, your hair will not stay combed, mad men will invade your home, food in the freezer will spoil mysteriously. NO-ONE WILL TALK TO YOU AT PARTIES!!!

OMO PASTOR

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SATURDAY, 9. 19am

7-day Adventist church

Shubomi’s head lolled to one side, promptly striking the shoulder of his neighbor…or where her shoulder would have been if disgust had not made her shift away from me. Her soft voice woke me even where the pastor’s micro-phone enhanced voice hadn’t…

“if you’re so tired you shouldn’t have bothered coming… who are you deceiving?”

I looked at her. Ugly something, was my first thought. The urge to come up with a smart come-back was overwhelming. There is nothing as annoying as been berated by a stranger… an ugly younger stranger. Before I could say a word, the pastor said we should pray and my brother signaled me to move to the pulpit with them. It was his kid’s dedication, that was why I was here. I switched off her. I hate when ugly people have confidence.

Service over and I saw her again with the pastor as we waited to thank the pastor or something. “…the project research wasn’t completed yesterday, we have to go back to check the control experiment…” I heard her say. Geek.

The pastor said something I didn’t hear

“Yes daddy,” she replied “ see you tomorrow.” PK oshi… this one’s life has spoilt finish. I could barely hold back my laugh. No wonder she was carrying church manners on her head.

SATURDAY ,11:00 pm

Aura

The place was packed… just the way I liked it… many blurry faces, people where already getting wasted… DJ was on point… or he was gonna be, I recognized him from last night’s party at evolve. I smiled… that party was crazy to say the least.

A brief glance around showed the guys weren’t around yet. Shit! I hated been alone… guys had to shayo small to get things going… and there was nothing as pathetic as a lone guy drinking. Suddenly, I felt an arm on my shoulder, “buy me a drink.”

I couldn’t see her face clearly, but I liked the language her body was speaking… The tight mini she wore left very little to the imagination. I ordered her vodka and bailey’s mix, what the hell, if she looked like a baboon I would drop her. Sharparly.

She took the drink in one gulp, I could barely contain my surprise. We have us a drinker people. She grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor…As she started to grind me, I thought, fuck the guys, this night was gon be good.

Too soon, someone cut between us, I was ready to shove the guy aside but it was another girl, she barely even noticed me.

“Dara, we have to leave now!”

“ahn… what happened?”

“your popsi is going to my house now!!”

Before I could blink, both girls were running off and out of the club. My jaw slackened and dropped open. I felt sorry for myself… Life was not doing me well at all. A hard slap on my shoulder snapped me to reality.

“idiot wetin you do the girl make her run so?”

I was too happy that the fools that were my guys were around to take any abuse personally. “commot! Where you people dey hide since?”

“ah! We see you as you dey follow that Dara babe word now?”

Hearing them casually mention her name was a bit shocking “you know her?”

They burst out laughing… “who no know her?”

I looked at this group of five guys “you mean, say, all of you know her?”

“Dara na parole babe now? How we no go sabi am, na dead guy like you wey no know am?”

“but the babe no fine oh like that na,” someone added.

“na marry I dey marry am? who cares whether she fine or not?”

Curiosity got the better of me. I wanted to see this not-fine girl that had used her ass to dilute my senses and all my guys had obviously done “any of you get her picture?”

They laughed and abused me… “na so konji don hook you, you no even see face!”

The girl in the picture was locked in a french-kiss with one of my boys. One hand holding a cigarette. I zoomed the picture and almost dropped it in shock. The PK girl of earlier this morning.