A Khaddafy Day At The UN

Libya's strongman makes his point on and on and on...

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Apparently Libyan strong man Moammar Khaddafy has had a lot to say over the years -- and grew increasingly frustrated without a platform with which to share his, ahem, world view.

He finally got that platform Wednesday and made up for lost time. Boy, did he ever.

Perhaps upset about having his tent compound kicked off of Donald Trump's suburban estate, Khaddafy practically channeled Fidel Castro: He presented an meandering one hour and 36 minute address that touched upon issues both topical (climate change and terrorism -- though not in a way that would make an American happy) and, ahem, less so (the assassinations of John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King). Khaddafy's speech was literally exhausting. About two-thirds of the way though, his translator had to be replaced; the original one was, evidently, nearly on the verge of collapse.

On JFK's death, Khaddafy -- shockingly -- once again blamed -- wait for it -- the Jews. To be specific, he reiterated a "theory" that he's floated before: Israel killed Kennedy because he disapproved of its plans to develop a nuclear bomb. And, yes, Jack Ruby, was -- don't ya know -- an Israeli agent. This conspiracy theory immediately confused other anti-Semites who have traditionally associated Jews with diamonds -- not Rubies. This gets so complicated sometimes. During this part of the speech, Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was seen tearing out pages from his speech because Khaddafy stole some of his best anti-Israel lines.

To further complicate issues, Khaddafy several times referred to President Obama as "our son," presumably because Obama's father is from Africa. Big problem -- this language caused the spontaneous combustion of hundreds of so-called "Birthers" around the United States. These conspiracy theorists -- convinced that Barack Obama was not a "native-born American" suddenly realized immediately that they had been wasting their time all these months searching for his "real" birth certificate in Kenya. All these years, it's been in Libya!! Who'd a thunk it? (The father and son "reunion" at the special session of the Security Council Thursday -- with Obama presiding -- oughta be a hoot!)

The H1N1 ("swine flu") virus? An American military weapon.

In one speech, Khaddafy managed to eclipse any lengthy overwrought conspiracy theory Ahmadinejad, Venezuela's Hugo Chavez -- and non-UN member Louis Farrakhan has managed to say over the course of many years.

And this is only the beginning of Libya's term on the UN Security Council!