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About Me

is an unapologetic, bleeding-heart liberal who writes about everything from politics to private parts. A TV-writer in a former life, her credits include "Big Spender" for Animal Planet,and "A Child Too Many," "Cradle of Conspiracy" & "Deceived By Trust," for Lifetime

Sunday, November 21, 2010

If you’re a male prostitute who happens to also be Catholic, you’re in luck!

Since there is obviously no issue of contraception involved, the Holy Father has now decreed that you can use condoms with his blessing in order to prevent the spread of HIV. There is so much wrong with this sentence, I don’t know where to begin.

First of all, if you’re a Catholic male prostitute, I’m thinking you’ve already strayed pretty far from the Church’s teachings. God forbid you should also sin by using a condom. I think that horse has left the barn.

Lest anyone worry that the Pope is going all open-minded on us, if you’re a married couple where one spouse is infected, you’re still screwed. No condoms for you.

###

It was a busy week for the Party of No…

Republicans said no to equal pay for women, no to unemployment extension for two million families whose benefits will expire December 1st (Merry Fucking Christmas), and held middle-class tax cuts hostage while continuing to fight hard for the extension of tax cuts for the rich.

According to the group Patriot Millionaires For Fiscal Strength, a group of rich folks who are actually asking for their privileged tax cuts to expire:

"Only 375,000 Americans have incomes of over $1,000,000, but a whopping 44% of our reps in Congress are millionaires."

Can you say "conflict of interest?"

###

Planning on flying this Thanksgiving?

If you’re willing to let a stranger cop a feel you could win a iPod Touch from Loopt.com.

Loopt, makers of a mobile check-in app, is giving away 10 iPods to those who fly on the day before Thanksgiving and opt out of the body scanner. All you have to do is Tweet about your molestation with the world and you could be the lucky winner!

Personally, I think the terrorists have now officially won. Give them all iPods.

Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. --Benjamin Franklin

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It might have gone unnoticed to you, but this past Friday, November 19th, was World Toilet Day. I know. I didn’t get a card either...

The very real and serious reason behind this day for honoring the throne is to bring attention to the fact that 2.5 billion of the world’s population don’t have adequate sanitation. One out of five children in the world die before their fifth birthday due to diarrhea disease.

So on Friday, if you noticed people squatting in the oddest places, it was all part of a plan by the World Toilet Organization to raise awareness of this problem by asking people that day to just squat wherever they happened to be for one full minute – no dropping of the pants required or encouraged.

###

An app for your crap…

And I would be remiss if I didn't also bring your attention to a new app called Flush Tracker. Launched to coincide with World Toilet Day, this little tech gem allows you to track your poo from elimination to the finish line, if you're so inclined.

The Brits are having a fine time with this. On Friday, office work everywhere backed up as people, using Google mapping, tracked their latest offering through the city sanitation system all the way to the sewage facility giving the term "anal retentive" a whole new meaning.

Sorry folks. Flush Tracker is not yet available in the U.S.

###

Thinking about a jaunt south of the border, but concerned for your safety?

If you’re a male prostitute who happens to also be Catholic, you’re in luck!

Since there is obviously no issue of contraception involved, the Holy Father has now decreed that you can use condoms with his blessing in order to prevent the spread of HIV. There is so much wrong with this sentence, I don’t know where to begin.

First of all, if you’re a Catholic male prostitute, I’m thinking you’ve already strayed pretty far from the Church’s teachings. God forbid you should also sin by using a condom. I think that horse has left the barn.

Lest anyone worry that the Pope is going all open-minded on us, if you’re a married couple where one spouse is infected, you’re still screwed. No condoms for you.

###

It was a busy week for the Party of No…

Republicans said no to equal pay for women, no to unemployment extension for two million families whose benefits will expire December 1st (Merry Fucking Christmas), and held middle-class tax cuts hostage while continuing to fight hard for the extension of tax cuts for the rich.

According to the group Patriot Millionaires For Fiscal Strength, a group of rich folks who are actually asking for their privileged tax cuts to expire:

"Only 375,000 Americans have incomes of over $1,000,000, but a whopping 44% of our reps in Congress are millionaires."

Can you say "conflict of interest?"

###

Planning on flying this Thanksgiving?

If you’re willing to let a stranger cop a feel you could win a iPod Touch from Loopt.com.

Loopt, makers of a mobile check-in app, is giving away 10 iPods to those who fly on the day before Thanksgiving and opt out of the body scanner. All you have to do is Tweet about your molestation with the world and you could be the lucky winner!

Personally, I think the terrorists have now officially won. Give them all iPods.

Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. --Benjamin Franklin

###

It might have gone unnoticed to you, but this past Friday, November 19th, was World Toilet Day. I know. I didn’t get a card either...

The very real and serious reason behind this day for honoring the throne is to bring attention to the fact that 2.5 billion of the world’s population don’t have adequate sanitation. One out of five children in the world die before their fifth birthday due to diarrhea disease.

So on Friday, if you noticed people squatting in the oddest places, it was all part of a plan by the World Toilet Organization to raise awareness of this problem by asking people that day to just squat wherever they happened to be for one full minute – no dropping of the pants required or encouraged.

###

An app for your crap…

And I would be remiss if I didn't also bring your attention to a new app called Flush Tracker. Launched to coincide with World Toilet Day, this little tech gem allows you to track your poo from elimination to the finish line, if you're so inclined.

The Brits are having a fine time with this. On Friday, office work everywhere backed up as people, using Google mapping, tracked their latest offering through the city sanitation system all the way to the sewage facility giving the term "anal retentive" a whole new meaning.

Sorry folks. Flush Tracker is not yet available in the U.S.

###

Thinking about a jaunt south of the border, but concerned for your safety?