Tag Archive | why I didn’t post today

Me: “Well the government was trying to figure out the secrets of the universe, but they are all adults, and only kids can learn the secrets of the universe. So they sent me and my sister to space to learn them and come back and report them. We took along some candy to hide the secrets of the universe in so no one would find them and use them against us. We landed on Mars and collected the secrets, hiding them in the candy, but on the way home we ran into some aliens. The aliens haven’t had candy in years, and so they stole the candy and ate it, along with the secrets of the universe. I was trying to write up a post on the way home from space, but when I saw the aliens I hid the post in some candy, which they also ate.”

That is why I did not post today.

On a side note: There are more secrets of the universe on Mars, but kids are only allowed to try to collect them once, and my sister and I used up our chance. So if you know any kids who like secrets and would like to go to space, please send them to Mars to get the secrets of the universe.

Mom: Your friend dropped marbles on it from the top of the Eiffel tower. Your friend was on top of the Eiffel tower because the sky is blue. That mattered because she wanted to paint it red. She wanted to paint it red because she hated the color blue. She hated the color blue because it tastes bad. She knew it tasted bad because she once tried to eat the sky. So she thought if she painted it red it would taste better. She could not find a paintbrush so she used marbles. She was throwing the marbles at the sky and they fell on my post and destroyed it.

That is why I didn’t post today.

On a side note: My friend ran out of red paint to throw at the sky, so if you have red paint you are willing to donate please jet pack up to the top of the Eiffel tower and throw it at the sky.