OFF THE WALL 2013:
DAVID CALE: HARRY CLARKE
Tickets $25/$20 Members & students

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“He mouthed ‘This is awesome’
to his mother and told her she could
leave him to finish his homework.”
— Catherine Sylvain describes a scene
at after-school program The LAB

GENERAL POLICIES: Contents copyrighted 2013
by Steel City Media. All rights reserved. No part of
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[LAST PAGE]

my thoughts and prayers
47 “Alice,
go out to you. Now get the hell

out of the car.” — Congressman
Keith Rothfus to his daughter,
according to the script of an ad we
just totally made up

INCOMING
Allegheny County Council asked
to move forward on natural-gas
drilling at Pittsburgh International
Airport (Jan. 17, online only)
Natural gas is the future of energy. It
is replacing dirty, old coal plants, and
dangerous, expensive nuclear plants.
It will fuel cars, trucks, vans, buses,
locomotives, aircraft, ships, tractors,
air conditioners, engines of all kinds. It
costs far less. It will help keep us out of
more useless wars, where we shed our
blood and money.
— Web comment from
“Ron Wagner”

Activists call on mayor, county
executive to “hold UPMC
accountable” (Jan. 17, online only)
Perhaps we can expect the mayor to
hold others accountable when he
takes some accountability for his own
actions — or lack thereof. It’s amazing
this city has made the progress it has
under his “leadership.” How many
days until the election?
— Web comment from
“Brady Burgher”

“Let’s keep it real. I blitz
the South Side every
weekend. Just this
time I’m bringing more
cops with me.”
— Jan. 16 tweet from
parody Twitter account
“Lou Kravenstahl”
(@LouKravenstahl)

“Wow … who knew
that you can fight crime,
vandalism, public
urination with tow
trucks … and building
inspectors!”
— Jan. 19 tweet from
the Twitter account of
South Side restaurant
Dish Osteria (@dishosteria)

6

FIGHTING

FITZGERALD
County exec steamrolls through first year in office
{BY LAUREN DALEY}

S

TANDING ALONG Smallman Street in
the Strip District, County Executive Rich
Fitzgerald eyeballs the cars and trucks
speeding by. And then, after a moment’s hesitation, dashes across, through the rain — and
nearly into the path of an oncoming car.
“We call that ‘the Fitzgerald’,” says his
spokeswoman, Amie Downes, with a laugh.
“When you just go for it.”
Fitzgerald has been county executive for
just over a year, and his hard-charging style
has become almost as well known as his accomplishments. On just his third day in ofﬁce, he threw a monkey wrench into a courtordered property reassessment, prompting
speculation he might be found in contempt
of court. He has since taken an active role
in setting policy at nominally independent
agencies like the Port Authority and the Board
of Health. And he has slugged it out with
high-proﬁle politicians, ranging from legendary former coroner Cyril Wecht to Pittsburgh
Mayor Luke Ravenstahl.
“Since he’s become county executive — and
this isn’t unique to me — there are many folks
that have shared similar stories about the fact
that it’s Rich’s way or the highway,” says Ravenstahl. “If you disagree with Rich, he tends
to make it personal and it becomes, in many
cases, vindictive.”
“He’s a lovable bull in a china shop,” acknowledges U.S Rep. Mike Doyle (D-Forest
Hills), who’s known Fitzgerald most of his
political career. “Sometimes he just charges
ahead with his heart.”
But as Doyle points out, whatever else can
be said about Fitzgerald, “This is a guy who
gets things done.”

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.23/01.30.2013

{PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}

Allegheny County Executive Rich Fitzgerald has made
an impact during his first year in office.

FITZGERALD, whose day job had previously

been heading the engineering ﬁrm Aquenef, came to the county executive post by
way of Allegheny County Council, where he
served for 11 years. County councilors have
little public visibility, and when Fitzgerald
announced his 2011 executive bid, it appeared he faced an uphill climb against
Mark Patrick Flaherty, then the county
controller. But Fitzgerald beat out Flaherty,
then trounced Republican D. Raja in
November. And he quickly set about
making a name for himself.
Fitzgerald took the oath of ofﬁce on Jan.
3, 2012. On Jan. 5, as he promised on the
campaign trail, he stood up to Common
Pleas Judge Stanton Wettick,
refusing to send out newly
assessed property values
that Wettick had ordered
in a county-wide reassessment. Wettick threatened to hold Fitzgerald’s underlings in contempt of court if they
didn’t comply.
Fitzgerald didn’t waver. “If the Court
believes that removing the elected ofﬁcials
from this process … will result in my stopping this ﬁght — the court can think again,”
he said in a statement. Ultimately, the new
values did go out, though Wettick delayed
their use by a year.
“Rich is fearless when he gets behind an
issue,” says Doyle. “He’s the guy you want
in a foxhole with you.” And indeed, Fitzgerald hasn’t wasted time fulﬁlling some campaign pledges.
The county’s Human Relations Commission, for example, had spent two years
pressuring Fitzgerald’s predecessor, Dan
Onorato, to approve domestic-partner beneﬁts for county employees in same-sex relationships. Fitzgerald approved the beneﬁts
almost immediately; they’ve been available
since April 1.
And in September, Fitzgerald made
a bold move to thwart a state-mandated
“Voter ID” requirement. Taking advantage
of a provision that allowed voters to present

IDs issued by nursing homes and colleges,
Fitzgerald had the county-run Kane
Regional Centers and CCAC begin offering
IDs for residents — even if they lacked ties
to the institutions. (A judge later suspended
the voter-ID requirement.)
Fitzgerald’s biggest win, though, may
have been averting a massive 35-percent
service cut at the Port Authority. State ofﬁcials were refusing to provide additional
funding without more money from the
county and concessions from the transit
agency’s biggest union.
Rather than allow authority brass to
handle talks on their own, Fitzgerald inserted himself directly into negotiations. Steve
Palonis, president and business agent of Amalgamated
Transit Union Local 85, said
that without Fitzgerald’s involvement, a contract would
not have been reached in time to avert cuts.
“Rich was instrumental in getting in
touch with us and [the Port Authority]”
early, Palonis says. “He kept both sides to
the ﬁre.”
“We had to take over those negotiations
or we would have had cuts. … I’d do it again
in a heartbeat,” Fitzgerald says.
Boards and authorities, in his view, simply lend advice and expertise. “Where directors and folks are running things in an efﬁcient manner, I’ll be hands-off as much as I
can be,” Fitzgerald says. Still, he says, “None
of the boards are independent,” and as the
elected ofﬁcial, “I’m the one who has the interest of the people.”

“I THINK RICH
LIKES LOYALTY.”

BUT FITZGERALD’S hard-charging style has
also opened him up to complaints that it’s
not the people’s interests he’s looking out
for. Especially on environmental issues.
Earlier this month, the Allegheny County
Board of Health approved new guidelines
to regulate toxic air emissions by county
polluters. But the rule was weaker than a
measure the board passed last year: Instead
of measuring emissions at a facility’s
CONTINUES ON PG. 08

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7

FIGHTING FITZGERALD, CONTINUED FROM PG. 07

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property line, ofďŹ cials would sample air
quality at the nearest habitable structure.
â&#x20AC;&#x153;They were supposed to be that way
originally â&#x20AC;Ś as a compromise,â&#x20AC;? says Fitzgerald, who says he met with board members
before they voted to loosen the requirements, as well as industry, business and environmental representatives. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Maybe there
was a little miscommunication between
the environmental community and industryâ&#x20AC;? as to what the regulations should be.
But questions have been raised about
how independent the board is. Early last
year, board members voted to remove Dr.
Bruce Dixon as county health director, a
position he held for two decades. In an ensuing lawsuit, Dixonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s attorney has argued
that Fitzgerald compelled board members
to sign undated resignation letters. Such
letters could allow Fitzgerald to remove a
board member whenever he wished.
Environmentalists are also concerned
by the way Fitzgerald has gone about a proposal to allow gas-drilling on county-owned
land near the Pittsburgh International Airport. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The people were not involved with
this in any meaningful way nor were their
opinions sought,â&#x20AC;? says former city councilor
and environmental activist Doug Shields.
â&#x20AC;&#x153;There was never a larger discussion forwarded to the community for our consideration. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just wrong.â&#x20AC;?
Fitzgeraldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hard-driving approach toward independent authorities hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just
raised the eyebrows of environmentalists.
Such boards â&#x20AC;&#x153;technically are all independent,â&#x20AC;? says Jim Roddey, Allegheny Countyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ďŹ rst county executive. And although
â&#x20AC;&#x153;that independence is limited by the fact
that the county executive appoints board
members,â&#x20AC;? Roddey says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rich really wants
them to function more like a department
that reports directly to him rather than as

{PHOTO BY LAUREN DALEY}

Rich Fitzgerald speaks to constituents at a monthly meeting of the American Council of
Engineering Companies in Carnegie on Jan. 11.

an independent entity.â&#x20AC;?
Roddey, who lost a re-election bid amid
outrage over an earlier battle over countywide property reassessment, also faults
Fitzgeraldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s handling of the issue.
â&#x20AC;&#x153;I guess Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m old-fashioned, but when
I raise my hand to uphold the law, I think
I ought to obey the law and obey court orders,â&#x20AC;? says Roddey. â&#x20AC;&#x153;[Fitzgeraldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s] deďŹ ance
had nothing to do with the right or wrong
of the law. It was about currying the favor
of the voters.â&#x20AC;?
Still, Roddey credits Fitzgerald with an
â&#x20AC;&#x153;outstandingâ&#x20AC;? work ethic and says, â&#x20AC;&#x153;He tries
to be involved in all aspects of the community. I think in that regard heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s doing a very
good job.â&#x20AC;?
NOT EVERY politician is so forgiving.

Fitzgerald was elected at the same time
as County Controller Chelsa Wagner, but

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PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.23/01.30.2013

the two began feuding almost before they
were sworn in. Wagner said the disagreements began in the waning weeks of 2011,
when county council passed a 1-mill tax
increase â&#x20AC;&#x201D; just before Fitzgerald took ofďŹ ce
as county executive.
Wagner says Fitzgerald â&#x20AC;&#x153;demandedâ&#x20AC;?
that she issue a press release supporting
the hike. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I said, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I think Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll decide what my
press releases are, but I would be happy to
call council members and tell them I support them,â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? Wagner recalls.
Fitzgerald says Wagner went back on
an agreement she made on the campaign
trail. â&#x20AC;&#x153;She had indicated she was going to
support it â&#x20AC;Ś and then she reneged,â&#x20AC;? he says.
The two have since tangled over issues
like the handling of property-tax assessments and whether the countyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bureau
of Weights and Measures â&#x20AC;&#x201D; whose inspection stickers have previously advertised the
name of the county controller â&#x20AC;&#x201D; should
remain in Wagnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ofďŹ ce.
Fitzgerald has also squabbled with Cyril Wecht, an outspoken ďŹ gure who wanted
to return to the county medical examinerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ofďŹ ce after a federal case against him
collapsed. Fitzgerald discussed that possibility, but among other things the two
disagreed over Fitzgeraldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s demand that
Wecht clear media requests through the
executiveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ofďŹ ce.
Fitzgerald â&#x20AC;&#x153;totally liedâ&#x20AC;? about his willingness to hire him, Wecht now says. Despite the fact that Wecht had received dozens of letters of support from local leaders
and forensics experts, â&#x20AC;&#x153;It became obvious,
as obvious as the lack of hair on the top of
my head: It didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make a goddamn difference if he heard from God â&#x20AC;&#x201D; he had his
mind made up. He had been bullshitting
me all along.â&#x20AC;?
Fitzgerald says he wanted his adminisCONTINUES ON PG. 10

tration to have a common message: “You
cannot have individuals who work for the
administration not supporting what the
administration does.”
But perhaps Fitzgerald’s most contentious foe is Ravenstahl. Both men
acknowledge that they don’t have a
working relationship … and that’s about
all they agree on.
Ravenstahl says things soured when
Fitzgerald “took a cheap shot” at him after
his election victory, telling the Pittsburgh
Post-Gazette he’d work with the mayor even
though Ravenstahl “doesn’t always show
up for things and he doesn’t always work
every day.”
At the time, the two pledged to get beyond such resentments, and to meet twice
a month. Those meetings are no longer being held: Fitzgerald says Ravenstahl attended only two; Ravenstahl disputes that claim
but says the meetings ended because “Rich
was more interested in getting information
from me about my [mayoral opponent Bill
Peduto] than helping the region. He’s more
focused on politics than on policy.”
Fitzgerald disputes such claims, though
he doesn’t back down from his original
criticism. “I have a pretty good track record
of getting along with a whole lot of folks,”
he says. Ravenstahl, he says, is “one mayor
out of 130” in the county. “I get along with
129 other mayors. … It’s hard to work with a
mayor who doesn’t show up.”
And as Fitzgerald’s endorsement of
Peduto suggests, he’s clearly hoping to

replace that 130th mayor.
Peduto was an early backer of Fitzgerald’s campaign, but the two haven’t always
been allies. Fitzgerald and Peduto had a
falling-out during the 1996 congressional
campaign of Peduto’s former boss, thencouncilor Dan Cohen. Fitzgerald abandoned
Cohen over attacks that he later called
a “slime campaign” against incumbent
Democrat Bill Coyne.
Of Fitzgerald’s bluntness, Peduto says
today, “It’s refreshing in politics because so
many people can be sly.” Nor is Fitzgerald’s
support just quid pro quo for Peduto’s own
backing, he says. Peduto says that during
the county-executive campaign, when he
asked Fitzgerald if he would pledge his future support, Fitzgerald answered, “I can’t
make that deal.’”
But last fall Fitzgerald moved in a hurry,
announcing his support of Peduto before
Peduto even entered the race, and before
a third Democrat, City Controller Michael
Lamb, declared his candidacy. Those who
know him say that’s vintage Fitzgerald —
getting ahead of things.
Fitzgerald jumped “before the ﬁeld was
ﬂushed out and [without] consulting other
elected ofﬁcials,” says county councilor and
longtime friend Barbara Daly Danko. “I
think Rich likes loyalty.”
And he’s in a position to expect it
in return.
“I think some people are reluctant to disagree with him,” Danko adds. “But I think
that’s true with any executive.”
L D A L E Y @ P G H C I T Y PA P E R. C OM

{BY MATT BORS}

IDIOTBOX

+

NEWS
OF THE WEIRD
{BY CHUCK SHEPHERD}

“Fulton Jail Will Get Working Cell
Locks,” read the Dec. 19 Atlanta JournalConstitution headline. The county commission
serving Atlanta had finally voted to break a longstanding 3-3 tie that prevented buying new jailhouse locks — even while knowing that inmates
could jimmy the old ones at will and roam the
facilities, threatening and assaulting suspects
and guards. The three recalcitrant commissioners
were being spiteful because a federal judge had
ordered various improvements to the jail, costing $140 million so far, and the three vowed to
spend no more. The 1,300 replacement locks will
cost about $5 million — but will not be installed
right away.

+

The Chinese fashion designer “Ms. Lv”
told China Newsweek in N ovember that
her sales had “quintupled” since she began
using her 72-year-old grandfather to model her
clothing styles for girls. “[It’s] helping my granddaughter,” Liu Xianping said. “I’m very old,” he
said, and “I have nothing to lose.”

+

Challenging Business Plans: (1) British
“medical illustrator” Emily Evans recently
created eight pricey, bone-china dinner plates
emblazoned with the microscope images of tissue slides of the human liver, thyroid, esophagus
and testicles ($60 per plate, $200 for a set of
four). (2) In October, a shop in London’s St. Bart’s
Pathology Museum ran a special sale of cupcakes
as part of a sexually transmitted disease awareness campaign. Each pastry’s icing was crafted to
resemble the lesions, boils and warts of gonorrhea and other maladies.

+

Biologist Phil Torres, working from the
Tambopata national park in Peru, revealed
in December that he had witnessed a tiny Cyclosa
spider construct a replica of an eight-legged spider in a web made of leaves, debris and dead
insects. Since the real spider was found nearby,
Torres hypothesized that the wily arachnid had
built a decoy to confuse predators.

+

Artist Maria Fernanda Cardoso, already
known for her “circus” of performing fleas at Australia’s Sydney Festival 10
years ago, has since become a legitimate
academic expert on the sex organs of fleas
and other insects. She debuted the Museum
of Copulatory Organs last year near Sydney,
teaching visitors such esoterica as: In many
insect species, females are promiscuous; snails
are hermaphrodites in which one shoots
sperm “darts” that form rigid chastity-beltlike blockages on his mate; and a male flea
copulates for eight hours straight (but only
mates three times in his life).

+

A team of French researchers writing
recently in the journal PLOS ONE
described a species of European catfish,
growing to a length of five feet, that feeds
itself pigeons by lunging out of the water
(“cat”-like) and snatching them, even if the
leap carries it to shore. Like Argentinian killer
whales, the catfish are able to remain on land
for a few seconds while wriggling back into
the water where they can enjoy their meal.
The lead researcher said he filmed 54 catfish
attacks, of which 15 were successful.

+

The Jiangdu District kindergarten recognizes that providing a quality education
requires supporting the child emotionally as
well as helping develop reading and other skills.
Toward that end, it now requires teachers to
hug each pupil twice a day — provided that the
parent has paid the monthly “hugging fee” of
the equivalent of about $12.80. An educationagency investigation is under way, according
to a December Shanghai Daily report, but one
teacher defended the trial program as boosting
a child’s confidence and establishing a “good
mood” for learning.

+

Demarco Thomas, 30, was arrested in
Tucson, Ariz., in N ovember, as a drug
courier for what the Arizona Daily Star called a
“local cartel,” after Thomas himself had called
police the day before. Thomas feared being
whacked by the cartel because he had come up
$20,000 short in the latest delivery. According to
police, Thomas brought money in suitcases from
N orth Carolina to his Tucson contact — except
for a little bit that he had somehow “misplaced.”
A police search of Thomas revealed almost
exactly $20,000 on his person, and Thomas,
about to be arrested, allegedly asked officers
if they would please write a note to the cartel
informing them that police had merely seized
the $20,000 — and not that Thomas had tried to
steal it. They declined.

+

Prosecutor’s Delight: (1) Police in
Guntersville, Ala., suspected that Tara
Hampton had resumed dealing drugs, in violation of a first-offender’s program that had kept
her out of jail, and they knocked on her door
to ask about some evidence they had come
across. According to the police report, when
Hampton opened the door for them, she was
absentmindedly holding a bag of crack in her
hand. (2) William Cook Jr., 27, was arrested
after a manager at a Wendy’s restaurant in
Rome, Ga., complained that Cook was acting
strange and disturbing customers, and when
police asked for his ID, he provided bogus
information. In a search, officers found a note
in his pocket, reading, “How Bill Cook intends
to rob the Wendy’s on Martha Berry and get
away with it,” followed by lists labeled “Plan
A” and “Plan B.”

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Unlucky Gary Haines, 59, was arrested in
December in Charlotte County, Fla., after
he was spotted stealing a trailer by hitching it to
his own truck and driving off with it. The “spotter” was the trailer’s owner, David Zehntner,
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Jason DeJesus, 36, and Chanelle Troedson,
33, who share an upscale 4,600-squarefoot home (with pool and courts for playing
tennis and beach volleyball) in Morgan Hill,
Calif., were arrested in December and charged
with luring a 50-year-old handyman to their
home, forcibly detaining him, and requiring
him to make various repairs for them over a sixhour period (before he managed to escape and
notify police).

THE BURGER — MADE OF BRISKET, SHORT RIB
AND SIRLOIN — WAS TENDER AND JUICY

JUICED

RAISING

{BY CHRIS POTTER}
“We are a bar on the South Side,”
Jackie Day acknowledges, “but we
don’t contribute to the trouble”
plaguing Pittsburgh’s bar district. If
anything, “We help aid in the next
day’s recovery.”
Day owns The Enchanted Garden,
a garden shop and juice bar located
just off East Carson Street. “People
walk by and don’t know what this is,”
says Day. But those who venture inside
will find a café area in back, furnished
with lava lamps and a drop ceiling
painted to match the sky. And they’ll
find Day herself, who whips up more
than a dozen smoothies and juices with
names like “Orange Yinz Thirsty” and
“Incredible Hulk.”
Ingredients range from acai berries
and carrots to beets and kale. (Yes,
kale. “I don’t eat much kale,” says Day,
“but added to an Incredible Hulk, it’s
amazing.” Your correspondent, also not
a kale fan, can attest to its palatability:
The smoothie tastes of nothing so much
as coconut.) Prices start at $3.50.
Day began selling juices in
September, serving a neighborhood
whose customer base includes a nearby
yoga studio, the offices of WYEP and
the occasional visiting metal band. And
Day is one of her own best customers:
“For the past 10 days, I’ve been on a diet
of vegetarian chili and juice,” she says.
She’s not the only person on the
South Side living on a liquid diet. But
she’s probably one of the few who
feels better off the next day.
CPOTTER@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

73 S. 13th St., South Side. 412-377-2765

the

FEED

SOUP N’ AT. It’s part art, part soup
and part community get-together. For $10,
attendees get a meal (soup, bread and
dessert), as well as a ballot to vote on
artists’ presentations. (The artist with the
most votes gets the proceeds.)
BYOB, or Penn Brewery
beverages with donation. 6 p.m. Sun.,
Jan. 27. Brew
House, 2100
Mary St.,
South Side.
www.
soupnat.
wordpress.
com

THE BAR

{BY ANGELIQUE BAMBERG + JASON ROTH}

I

N THIS trying economy, upscale dining
has become harder to sustain. Many restaurateurs are making it work by introducing limited menus of economical foods,
such as noodles, wafﬂes or burgers, and embellishing them in a variety of thoughtful if
not extravagant ways in settings which are
chic yet blue-jean friendly. This strategy
for blurring the line between upscale and
downscale happens to work well in our
contemporary, more casual lifestyle.
The latest example of note is Benjamin’s
Western Avenue Burger Bar on the North
Side, where the menu consists of a matrix
of burgers (two sizes, nine topping combos,
beef or veggie patty, and optional glutenfree bun) and four other sandwiches. Additionally, there are eight beer-friendly
“snacks,” which range from roasted almonds to a Crested Duck charcuterie platter. Prices aren’t diner-cheap — the basic
cheeseburger is eight bucks, with a “Top
Shelf” option for $1.50 more — but neither
does every option aspire to the reﬁnement
of a burger with red-wine-braised onion
and trufﬂe mustard. The BLT, for instance

{PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

Burger with rosemary-balsamic goat cheese and green apples

comes with American cheese, and there’s
the inevitable breakfast burger with fried
egg, bacon and home fries on top.
Benjamin’s interior reﬂects its casualchic aspirations as well, hitting a sweet spot
between hip lounge and casual hangout.
A gas ﬁreplace in the dining area opposite

CP APPROVED
the bar provides a warm focal point amid
substantial wood tables and seating on a
simple padded bench. Up a half-story is the
billiard lounge, with cushy couches that feel
modern but unpretentious.
Our snack of “pickled stuff” was a surprise hit with Angelique, who isn’t a fan
of most things under that general head-

ing, but relished the piquant bites of cauliﬂower, beet and hard-boiled egg. The secret
was a balance that was neither too sour nor
too sweet, but employed a judicious mix of
spices; the ﬂavor went well beyond typical European mustard-and-dill into Middle
Eastern, even Indian territory, punctuated
with an assertive bolt of heat. The egg both
explained the popularity of those weird
jars of purple eggs you’ve seen in bars, and
rebuked them; it was seasoned by the pickling spices without becoming rubbery or
overwhelmed by acid.
We ordered a Regular Guy beef burger
topped with rosemary-balsamic goat
cheese and green apple. The burger itself
— made of brisket, short rib and sirloin —
was excellent, tender and juicy. The ﬂavorful cheese made a neat circle — it seemed
to have been melted and then placed on the
burger — and the apples had been cleverly
cut into slaw-like matchsticks, so that their
crispness didn’t become a distraction.
Benjamin’s also makes its own veggie
burger from sweet potatoes, chick peas and
herbs. It made for a delicious patty with a
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On the
RoCKs

creamy, not crumbly, texture that even got
some crisp edges on the grill. Angelique’s
only quibble with hers — a Mexican-style
concoction topped with green chiles, salsa
and chipotle sour cream — was that the tomatoes were cut into the same large chunks
as in the side salad, so that they rained out
of the burger instead of staying put.
Pulled pork had the meaty chunks we
associate with the patient process of handpulling, as opposed to the ﬁne threads that
result from mechanical shredding, and the
house barbecue sauce walked a satisfying
line between a sweet tomato base and a
peppery mustard one. House slaw on top
added its own kicky ﬂavor rather than mere
bland creaminess. The whole comprised a
better sandwich than most local barbecue
places can claim, let alone most generalservice restaurants.

Our ﬁnal sandwich was the irresistible
house-made lamb sausage with peppers
and onions. The vegetables were cut thin
and cooked to nearly melting tenderness,
while the sausage dripped with juices. Rather than conveying greasiness, however, the
effect was the kind of richness you get with
long-cooked short ribs or pork shoulder, and
a topping of hot-sauce mayo provided perfect counterpoint. This was all contained —
barely — on a Breadworks roll that had just
enough crust without too much resistance.
A side of home fries, made of a medium
dice of potato, was nearly perfect, tender inside, occasionally crisped, and studded with
caramelized onion. Other than a smidge too
much salt, these home fries were among the
best we’ve ever had, and put most breakfast
places to shame.
Show up at Benjamin’s in jeans or
in post-party formalwear, and you’ll
feel equally at home. The atmosphere is
comfortable and welcoming, the food is
simply outstanding, and the pool table is in
great condition.
INF O @PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

Thursday evenings are for exploring different places, knocking back a couple of
beers or cocktails, and making some new
friends. That’s the idea behind the weekly
meet-up called Pittsburgh Happy Hour.
The group, organized by Lou Kroeck
and Krista Bland, has been touring
Pittsburgh-area
bars and restaurants for the past
18 months.
Although the
original sessions
were planned as
meet-ups to merge
two groups of
friends, the roving
happy hour now
attracts participants
through its wide social network. “It’s a
really mixed crew,” Kroeck says. “Tonight
we even have two folks from Reddit.
They learned about it on there and just
showed up.”
Kroeck says that newcomers shouldn’t
be afraid to join the fun. “As long as
you’re willing to talk to people and be
social, it’s not an issue,” he says. “Everyone
is very welcoming. At some point we’ve all
been the newcomer.”
Matt Pierce took that advice to heart
on his first visit. He’d been tracking the
group through its Facebook page (which
boasts more than 750 followers), and
decided that his birthday would be a good
time to join in.
“I just randomly showed up, not
knowing anybody, and ended up having
such a great time. I’ve been back for every
one since then,” he says.
Pierce says that, in addition to the
fun group of people, the big draw is
the diversity of locations the group
takes in. Recent happy-hour themes
have ranged from bars known for craft
beers (Carson Street Deli) and pub grub
(Redbeard’s), as well as self-styled dives
(Rock Room).
“One week you’re at a really wellknown place, the next week you’re at a
hole in the wall you didn’t know existed,
and now it’s one of your favorite places,”
Pierce says.
Kroeck says that there are a few
things he looks for when scouting
out locations: “a great drink special,
a great staff — and not too crowded so
we can socialize.”
INFO@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

pghhappyhour.blogspot.com and www.
facebook.com/pittsburgh.happyhour

THE FOLLOWING
DINING LISTINGS
ARE RESTAURANTS
RECOMMENDED BY
CITY PAPER FOOD CRITICS

Sun Penang {PHOTO BY HEATHER MULL}
sour cream and Fritos, or the
Bruschetta Dog, with marinated
tomatoes, pesto and parmesan. J
FAT HEADS. 1805 E. Carson St.,
South Side. 412-431-7433. This
place seems to expand every
few years, with reason: terrific
beer selection, chicken wings
and industrial-sized sandwiches.
There’s outdoor eating on the
“fatio,” but timing is everything:
No matter how many tables they
add, you may end up waiting
for one. JE

IBIZA. 2224 E. Carson St., South
Side. 412-325-2227. An urbane
wine bar and tapas restaurant,
Ibiza is the sister restaurant to
its next-door favorite, Mallorca.
Ibiza’s menu starts in Spain
but includes delicacies from
Portugal, Argentina and other
countries. Accompanied by a
wide international selection
of wines, Ibiza offers
a transportive dining
experience. KE

GREEN FOREST. 655 Rodi Road,
Penn Hills. 412-371-5560.
Tucked into a nondescript
office plaza is this
churrascaria — a
Brazilian all-you-caneat restaurant. Servers
JIMMY WAN’S.
www. per
pa
pull barbequed meats
1337 Old Freeport
pghcitym
.co
right off the rotisserie
Road, Fox Chapel.
grill and present them
412-968-0848. This
at your table, ready to
upscale eatery delivers what
carve off as much freshly cooked
Americans expect from a Chinese
meat as you like. There are
restaurant, plus fare with a
hot and cold buffets as well,
modern, pan-Asian approach,
but savvy diners load up on the
complete with Japanese and
juicy meats. KE
French influences. Wan’s offers
inventive appetizers such as
HOT METAL DINER. 1025
sashimi ceviche, traditional and
Lebanon Road, West Mifflin.
creative sushi, dim sum and
412-462-4900. This new-oldChinese-American entrees both
fashioned diner with a Harley
familiar (Peking duck) and
theme offers a traditional menu
less so (dan dan noodles). KE
with super-size portions. The
thick, fluffy “mancakes” hang
LOS CHILUDOS. 325
off the platter, and the huge
Southpointe Blvd., Suite 300,
breakfast burrito is like a Spanish Canonsburg. 724-745-6791.
omelet wrapped in a tortilla.
This casual neighborhood
For lunch, there are burgers,
taqueria offers classic Mexicansandwiches and fresh pie. J
American fare sprinkled with
more authentic options such
HYEHOLDE. 1516 Coraopolis
as tinga (saucy stewed pork)
Heights Road, Moon Township.
and sopes, thick cornmeal
412-264-3116. Half cottage,
cakes. Los Chiludos excels with
half castle, Hyeholde is housed
Americanized Mexican dishes,
in a little fantasy building
imbuing them with authentic
dating to the 1930s. The
ingredients and preparations
splendidly landscaped grounds
that recalls the fresh, flavorful
host outdoor pig roasts,
fast food as it’s prepared
clambakes and picnics in the
in Mexico. JF

7-$9

THE FRESHEST
LOCAL PRODUCE
FROM
THE STRIP

Choose From

CONTINUES ON PG. 16

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HE S
TH
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N T
IIN

NEW YEARS
RESOLUTION
Eat Light..

BURMA-TOKYO RESTAURANT.
320 Atwood St., Oakland. 412802-6163. This tiny restaurant
run by two siblings offers
sushi as well as a selection of
cooked dishes from their native
Burma and several neighboring
countries. Among the intriguing
selections: The Burmese shan
tribe noodles, with a distinctive,
intensely flavored sauce and
varied vegetables; and the Kyae
oae soup, with rice vermicelli,
mustard greens, a variety of
meatballs and tofu. JF
CAFÉ DES AMIS. 443 Division
St., Sewickley. 412-741-2388. A
genuine French café —
with rustic wooden tables,
chalkboard menus and display
cases full of sophisticated salads,
sandwiches and desserts. A
perfect spot for that relaxed,
multi-hour meal that is France’s
greatest export: Thus, dinner
can be anything from croque
monsieur to shepherd’s pie or
roulades of beef. J

MENDOZA EXPRESS. 812
Mansfield Road, Green Tree.
412-429-8780. The décor is pure
kitsch — sombreros on the walls,
etc. — and the location is a bit
obscure. But the menu is ample,
and the food is as authentic as
you’ll find in Pittsburgh. (Try the
rebozo, a scramble of chorizo,
peppers and cheese.) JF
OSTERIA 2350. 2350 Railroad
St., Strip District (412-281-6595)
and 100 Wood St., Downtown
(412-586-7743). You won’t get
better casual Italian cooking
for your money than here. The
menu has been pared to the
essentials of Italian cuisine:
antipasti, pizza, panini and
pasta — and their preparations
represent a unique marriage
of Old-World recipes and
local ingredients. Highlights
include the parsnips antipasti
and gnocchi. JE
ROSE TEA CAFÉ. 5874 Forbes
Ave., Squirrel Hill. 412-4212238. This bubble-tea café
has broadened its offerings to
include high-quality, authentic
Chinese cooking. The menu is
dominated by Taiwanese dishes,
including a variety of seafood
items. In place of the thick,
glossy brown sauces which
seem all but inevitable at most
American Chinese restaurants,
Rose Tea keeps things light
with delicate sauces that are
more like dressings for their
fresh-tasting ingredients. KF
SUN PENANG. 5829 Forbes
Ave., Squirrel Hill. 412-421-7600.
Sun Penang’s aesthetic is Asian
— simple but not austere —
and to peruse its menu is to
explore the cuisines of Thailand,
Malaysia and Singapore. The
Pangan ikan is a house specialty,
and the Malaysian kway
teow (practically the country’s
national dish) may be the
best you ever have without a
tourist visa. JE
TRAM’S KITCHEN. 4050
Penn Ave., Bloomfield. 412682-2688. This tiny family-run
storefront café packs in the
regulars. Most begin their meal
with an order of fresh spring
rolls, before moving on to
authentic preparations of
pho, noodle bowls and friedrice dishes. The menu is small,
but the atmosphere is lively
and inviting. JF
VERDE. 5491 Penn Ave.,
Garfield. 412-404-8487. The
menu here isn’t straight Mexican,
but presents some traditional
items, including tablesideprepared guacamole and
grilled corn-on-the-cob, with
reconceived classics, invented,
fusion-y dishes like tacos
with roasted sweet potatoes,
fried chickpeas and Mexicanstyle tzatziki. There is also an
extensive tequila list and a patio
for warm-weather dining. KE

offMenu
{BY AMYJO BROWN}

BIG PLANS

Public Market hoping new location
brings positive changes
BECKY RODGERS, executive director of Neighbors in the
Strip, is full of ideas for the space that will be the Pittsburgh Public Market’s new home.
Booths equipped for cooking. A commercial kitchen for prepping. A stage for entertainment. Possibly a
restaurant to anchor it.
“The market council has been looking for over a
year at different spaces,” she says.
And it may well have found that perfect spot.
At press time, it was reviewing a lease for a roughly
20,000-square-foot space in the Strip, which would
more than double the market’s existing footprint. The
lease is awaiting signatures, Rodgers says. Then “we’ll
be able to disclose the location.” If all goes as planned,
the market could open in the
new spot as soon as May 1.
If it doesn’t, the market will
still need a Plan B. The Buncher
Company, which hopes to
acquire the building from the
city, plans to demolish the
portion of it occupied by the market as part of a
redevelopment project. Plans to move the market
elsewhere in the structure have been scuttled, Rodgers
explains, because rents are expected to be “costprohibitive” once development occurs.
The market’s lease expired Dec. 31, and it is monthto-month now, Rodgers says. The Buncher Company
has not set a deadline for when the market would
need to move.
Vendors, however, are looking forward to the
changes — even with so much up in the air.
“The public market has still vastly unrealized potential,” says Kevin Costa, owner of Crested Duck Charcuterie. “Relocating will be a really good opportunity
to start again.”
The number of vendors joining the Friday-throughSunday market has ﬂuctuated since it opened in 2010.
Vendors sign month-to-month leases, in part to help incubate startups. But that has also led to frequent turnover and the appearance at times of too much vacancy.
“There’s a slight disappointment in how things
turned out,” says Nathan Holmes, of Clarion River
Organics, who added that he had envisioned a
version of Philadelphia’s Reading Terminal Market or
Cleveland’s West Side Market.
Rodgers says those feelings are understandable. “It
was a tentative location. A lot of people didn’t want to
commit to being there,” she says, adding that the new
location will address many of the issues that have inhibited the market’s growth.
And, indeed, discussions of a new space, particularly one that will permit on-site cooking, bring hope.
“I think it will be a nice chance for it to rebrand itself,
start a little fresh,” Holmes says. “I’m excited about it.”

VENDORS ARE
LOOKING
FORWARD TO
THE CHANGES.

A B ROW N @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

16

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.23/01.30.2013

LOCAL

RESOLUTIONS? NOT UNTIL SPRING FOR
BONNIE “PRINCE” BILLY

BEAT

{BY ANDY MULKERIN}

STARRING
PITTSBURGH

NEW YEAR,

SAME OLDHAM
Shadow Lounge’s Justin Strong in the HWIC-produced video for Public Enemy’s “Everything”

Last week, a new Public Enemy video
hit the Internet: an uplifting tune called
“Everything,” with a sweet, Motown-style
riff behind it and a sing-songy delivery by
Chuck D. The video begins with — hey, is
that Justin Strong, from Shadow Lounge?!
Wait, that second guy … that’s Davon
Magwood, the Pittsburgh comedian, isn’t it?
How did all of Pittsburgh end up in a
Public Enemy video?
It turns out it was the work of a
married couple from Tarentum.
David and Maura Snyder, along with
David’s cousin, John Delserone, run HWIC
Filmworks, a film-production company
that’s made feature films and commercial
videos, and serves
as the official video
crew for Chuck D’s
SLAMjamz
Records label.
David first got in
touch with Chuck D
randomly in the late
’90s. “I was always a
huge P.E. fan, and I sent him an email once
on the off chance he’d read it — they were
leaving Def Jam at the time, and were
looking at their options — and he emailed
me back, which I didn’t expect!”
From there, the two kept in touch —
collaborating in the long-distance group
The Impossebulls, and eventually forming
a partnership in which David would direct
videos for SLAMjamz and Public Enemy.
He’s also done remixes and produced
tracks for Public Enemy. Maura — who
works a day job in mental health and
previously had no experience in video —
has become a producer for HWIC.
Some jobs are bigger than others —
when Public Enemy was making videos
for some older songs that had never gotten the treatment, for example. (“I was
like, ‘You want me to make a video for
“Welcome to the Terrordome?”’” David
recalls with a laugh.)
The idea behind the new video is to
feature regular people — the song is an
anthem about being proud regardless of
one’s material possessions — and it features
Pittsburghers who the Snyders know, from
Strong and Magwood to Most-Wanted Fine
Art Gallery’s Jason Sauer and Nina Gibbs
(and son Rowdy), and Kahmeela Adams, of
the 48 Hour Film Project, which HWIC won
in 2011. It’s been having an effect on the
folks who appear, too.
“I got a text from one of the actresses,”
says Maura. “She said she walked into
her bank and the people there were
like, ‘Didn’t we just see you in that Public
Enemy video?’”
More on HWIC at www.hwicfilm.com.

{BY AARON JENTZEN}

The “prince” who looks a pauper: Will Oldham

O

N DEEP MATTERS, such as his appreciation for The Everly Brothers, Will
Oldham’s eloquent commentary illuminates. On more mundane topics, he’ll
still surprise you. New Year’s resolutions?
Not until spring.
“It’s impossible, in these dark, heavy,
cold dead days of winter, to do anything of
value other than just sit and cogitate,” says
Oldham, speaking via phone from the road.
“Not being a speciﬁcally religious human,
I still ﬁnd celebrations of the spring — of
May Day or Easter — to be relevant.”
Best known for performing and recording under the name Bonnie “Prince”
Billy, Oldham has worn many guises since
his 1992 debut on Drag City Records — a
shifting musical identity that has long
evoked a certain mystique. His 20-year career shows remarkable vitality, thanks to
varied projects — sometimes new material, sometimes recasting his old songs or
reinterpreting others’ music — and a kaleidoscope of collaborators, ranging from
Nashville session musicians and guitarist
Matt Sweeney (Zwan, Chavez) to inﬂuen-

tial post-rock band Tortoise.
Looking back over the past year, Oldham says “2012 was … pretty good.” But he
learned some lessons: “I didn’t go on vacation,” he says. “I need to go on vacation.”
Little wonder, considering his prodigious output in 2012: the collaborative album Marble Downs, with Trembling Bells;
the six-song EP Now Here’s My Plan; two
singles; and his autobiography, Will Oldham
on Bonnie “Prince” Billy.

For the autobiography, long-time friend
and collaborator Alan Licht interviewed
Oldham, then distilled their conversations
into the 400-page book, published in September by W.W. Norton. Oldham says he
enjoyed working with Licht and the book’s

illustrators, but that the project was more
involved than he anticipated, and more the
publisher’s idea than a personal goal.
“Steve Albini read the book and said,
‘You have a really good memory!’ And that
was reassuring to me, that I still have something like a memory,” Oldham says. “Maybe
it’s a good thing that [the book] exists, but
yeah,” he says, laughing, “I deﬁnitely won’t
do it again!”
When Oldham plays at Carnegie Lecture
Hall on Sat., Jan. 26, he’ll be backed by Emmett Kelly and Cheyenne Mize, musicians
with whom he recorded 2009’s Chijimi EP.
Over the years, Oldham says, the three have
“toured a fair amount in a larger group but
also as this trio.”
Opening the show is a group called Title
TK, consisting of the aforementioned Alan
Licht, artist and curator Howie Chen and
multimedia artist Cory Arcangel, whose
Masters exhibit is currently on display at
the Carnegie Museum of Art. (While Oldham and Arcangel produce very different
work, Oldham says they might be said to
share a “sense of challenge or sense of

AMULKERIN@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

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NEW YEAR, SAME OLDHAM, CONTINUED FROM PG. 17

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annoyance or sense of fun.”)
Oldham closed out 2012 with another
milestone: his ﬁrst holiday record. He
likes Christmas music, and his favorites in
the genre include the likes of The Jackson
Five, Johnny Cash and Dwight Yoakam.
(And James Brown: “The ﬁrst time I heard
it, I thought, ‘Wow, this singer’s amazing!
It sounds like James Brown, but James
Brown doesn’t sing this intimately.’ And
then I found out it was James Brown.”)
For his holiday single “Christmas Eve
Can Kill You,” Oldham duets with Dawn
McCarthy, their entwined voices rising and
falling on lyrics like “The sound of one man
walking through the snow can break your
heart / but stopping doesn’t help, so on I go.”
Oldham’s warble makes him an acquired
taste for some, but here his voice is direct,
expressive, entreating.
Oldham learned this gut-wrenching
ballad from an early 1970s recording by
The Everly Brothers. Oldham and McCarthy’s new version strips away the weeping pedal steel and drums, leaving simple
acoustic guitar and percussion, droning
strings and organ.
The song, released just in time for Christmas as a 7-inch single and video, serves
to introduce a grander project: Songs the
Brothers Sung. The album, due in February,
ﬁnds Oldham and McCarthy tackling a collection of songs learned from Everly Brothers records.
The Everlys are perhaps best known
for their trademark close-harmony singing and 1950s hits like “Wake Up Little
Susie” and “All I Have to Do Is Dream.” But
Oldham, a longtime fan, ﬁnds much more
in their music.
“There’s something about the way they
express intimacy,” Oldham says, “the way
they push their voices when they’re getting fully out there, either in ecstasy or
agony.” He ﬁnds Don Everly’s 1960s work
particularly innovative: Instead of pushing his voice like a soul singer, Don “starts
ﬁnding crazy notes that he can still hit clear
as a bell, but the weirdness of the note is
what expresses the emotion,” Oldham says.
“Rather than distressing his voice, he distresses the melody.”
Songs the Brothers Sung is intended
to showcase the complex material the
Everlys wrote and explored, says Oldham
— especially their overlooked later work.
“It’s kinda just wanting to dig in and make
a fucked-up record, in the spirit of their
great fucked-up records of the late ’60s
and early 1970s.”
Oldham’s New Year’s resolutions may
have to wait until spring — “when you can
actually take them on and do something
about them” — but he’s already off to a
great 2013.
AJE NT Z E N@PGH C IT YPAPE R . C O M

18

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.23/01.30.2013

NEW RELEASES

THE WILLIAMS BAND
CALMER THAN YOU ARE
(SELF-RELEASED)

Even for an EP, Calmer Than You Are is
short — the longest of the four songs is
under four minutes — but The Williams
Band makes every second count. It’s
got the big, polished, radio-ready,
Southern-rock sound of a band like
Kings of Leon, but with a cooler edge.
And strangely enough, here and there,
something in the melodies and the
guitar tone suggests the Strokes, if the
members had grown up in Alabama
instead of New York City.
BY MARGARET WELSH

For some, music is an escape; for others,
it’s a motivator. Mike Stout is a longtime
activist folk-rocker whose tunes often
read like current-events lessons, and
much of his new In Your Face fits the
bill. Labor, the environment and the
Occupy movement have a friend in Stout,
who spells out his take on shale drilling
(“Stop the Frack Attack”) and labor rights
(“Triangle Shirtwaist Fire”) — and, more
personally, his daughter and her partner
(“Maura and Michael”).
BY ANDY MULKERIN

PARTLY SUNNY
SLEEP MONSTER
(SELF-RELEASED)

Debut EP of indie rock that’s by turns
aggressive, tender and epic. Some
reference points would include Pavement
and Modest Mouse — that vein of
guitar-based music with rather, er,
“indie” vocals. (They’re not always
smooth, but they’re not grating — just
charmingly wavery, and better when
soft than when screamy.) Sometimes the
recording falls flat, but it’s a debut that
makes me want to hear more, and to see
Partly Sunny live.
BY ANDY MULKERIN

GIVING IT HER ALL
IF NOTHING ELSE, the title of Joy Ike’s
third album should tell you something
about where she is as an artist. After the
innocuous debut Good Morning and the
more intriguing Rumors, Ike is laying it
all on the line with a full-length called All
or Nothing.
“There’s kind of this recurring theme of
not wanting to give up, wanting to push
through and do everything you can, as
hard as you can and as well as you can,”
she explains.
While there are plenty of ways to interpret the title, Ike admits it means a lot to
her in terms of her professional life.
“I don’t know if the title came out of
that, or if now I’ve embodied the title,” she
says with a laugh.
It’s clear that Joy Ike is all in. The new
album, recorded with Saul Simon MacWilliams (who tours with Ingrid Michaelson,
and did sound engineering for the movie
Beasts of the Southern Wild), combines the
basics of Ike’s songwriting with some nextlevel instrumentation and production. It’s
without a doubt her most engaging work
to date — thematic, interesting, dynamic.
In addition to her band of bassist
Jason Rafalak, drummer Ryan Socrates
and cellist Eleanor Graham,
Ike got help from members
of the Freye String Quartet to add depth to the
recording. It was all made
possible by a $12,000 haul
from a Kickstarter funding
project. While Ike had used
Kickstarter for her previous album, this campaign
was different.
“The campaign was ﬁveand-a-half weeks long, and I think we were
still at 40 percent of the goal at the fourweek mark. I got really nervous, and was
pretty sure it wasn’t going to happen.”

{PHOTO COURTESY OF BRIAN COHEN}

Footwear optional: Joy Ike

several donors who had never heard my
music before.”
The songs on All or Nothing range from
uplifting pop, like the opening cut “Everything You Have,” to serious
storytelling, like the song
“Promised Land.”
“That one is a mix of a
personal story and the story
of a girl I met a couple of
years back,” she says. “She
was talking to me about
someone who’d introduced
her to my music — a guy
she was really in love with.
But she’s Indian and he
wasn’t Indian, and her parents weren’t going to allow her to marry him or see him
because of that. She mentioned that her
parents would most likely set up an arranged marriage for her. We kind of bonded
over that — we talked about how I was Nigerian and my parents are always trying to
hook me up with fellow Nigerians. It was
a bonding moment, and it was a burst of
song that was probably waiting to come
out for a while.”
It’s that personal touch — and that
gravity — that makes Ike such a strong
lyricist and storyteller. And that makes All
or Nothing so important to her.
“This is it,” she says. “I’ve been working
so hard over the last eight years or so, and
it all culminates with this album. I don’t
know what that means exactly, but I’m
hoping for big things.”

IT’S WITHOUT
A DOUBT HER
MOST ENGAGING
WORK TO DATE
— THEMATIC,
INTERESTING,
DYNAMIC.

But then Kickstarter featured the campaign on its front page as a highlighted
project — and things changed fast.
“I think that’s really what the tipping
point was,” she recalls. “I don’t even know
what their process is — I guess they pick
a type of project each day. There were

It’s that age-old story: The singer-songwriter
who moved to another country to play professional basketball and is now returning home
to make a living in music. OK, OK, so Mike
Medved’s narrative isn’t exactly run-of-the-mill.
The 26-year-old went to St. Vincent College and
shipped out in 2009 to play for Leeds Carnegie
in the U.K.’s pro-basketball league. Now he’s
back with a full-time backing band and a desire
to put his roots down here. He plays Club
Café tonight, where you’ll recognize him as
the really tall one. Mike Cali opens. Andy
Mulkerin 7 p.m. 56 S. 12th St., South Side. $10.
412-431-4950 or www.clubcafelive.com

Motive has it all: the suits, the riffs, the drummer who looks like Abe Lincoln. It’s the stuff
that’s made the band rising darling of the MTV
underbelly — the parts of the MTV empire
that still cover music — and garnered it comparisons to The Strokes. Tonight, the Brooklyn
rockers bring their show to Garfield Artworks;
Breezewood and Dewey Marquee open. AM
8 p.m. 4931 Penn Ave., Garfield. $6. All ages.
412-361-2262 or www.garfieldartworks.com

[INDIE POP] + SAT., JAN. 26

If what’s been leaked so far is any indication,
the forthcoming
album from Wakey!
Wakey! will be an
Lucy
art-pop ride in the
Kaplansky
vein of Passion Pit —
squeaky-clean vocals,
delicious pop hooks
and lots of synths.
The band found
success with
its 2010 album
Almost Everything
I Wish I’d Said the
Last Time I Saw
You, which landed
it commercial deals
and TV placements
along with healthy
record sales. Preview

N E W S

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[FOLK] + THU., JAN. 31

Lucy Kaplansky’s voice is not only beautiful
but friendly — which likely benefitted the
singer-songwriter during the years when she
eschewed music in favor of work as a clinical
psychologist. Fortunately for the folk world,
she returned to
music in the ’90s with
the Shawn Colvinproduced The Tide;
her latest, Reunion,
does a good bit of
reminiscing (and
includes a guest spot
by Jonatha Brooke).
Tonight, she appears
at the Roots Cellar,
Calliope’s venue at
the Pittsburgh Center
for the Arts. AM 7:30
p.m. 6300 Fifth Ave.,
Shadyside. $25-28. All
ages. 412-361-1915 or
www.calliopehouse.org

TA S T E

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S C R E E N

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E V E N T S

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C L A S S I F I E D S

21

Win A 2013 BAIERL
SUBARU COUNTRY
MEGATICKET
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and join the contest event page for
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to ALL EIGHT CONCERTS
at First Niagara Pavilion!

TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM

412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X194 (PHONE)

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

Each week, we feature a new MP3 from a
local artist. This week’s offering comes from
Maddie Georgi, who recently released
her second album, Glory Bound.
Stream or download the title track on our
music blog, FFW>>, at pghcitypaper.com

Three incredible interpreters of song….
World-class trumpeter Sean Jones teams up with international jazz
star Gregory Porter and renowned songstress Carolyn Perteete for an
unforgettable Valentine’s Day celebration of music, love and passion.

THE CASE WAS FUELED BY ANXIETIES AND
TENSIONS RATHER THAN CAREFULLY INVESTIGATED

{BY AL HOFF}
Things at the well-appointed country
estate for retired musicians are about
to be shaken up by a new resident, but
with a bit of understanding, it all gets
sorted out. That’s Quartet in a nutshell,
but you won’t be seeing Dustin Hoffman’s
light, cozy comedy, adapted from Ronald
Harwood’s play, for the plot. The film
boasts an A-list of gracefully aging British
actors — Maggie Smith, Tom Courtenay,
Michael Gambon, Pauline Collins and Billy
Connolly — as well as a deep back bench
of lesser-known opera singers, classical
musicians and assorted performers
(including “Manuel” from Fawlty Towers).

SYSTEM FAILURE
Half a quartet: Pauline Collins and Maggie Smith

There’s some piffle about a benefit
concert, which lets Hoffman slip in some
musical numbers, and a not-particularlymelodramatic subplot about an operatic
quartet long ago fractured by romantic
failings. (Courtenay and Smith are the
still-aggrieved parties.) These characters
all exist in one of those rarefied, tightly
curtailed British bubbles (similar to last
year’s Exotic Marigold Hotel) where the
rest of the world, and much of modern
life, barely seem to intrude. But what of
reality in a home for the aged and theatrical? The film’s pleasures are in seeing old
friends bantering, sniping and simpering,
as well as celebrating the game supporting players, who are still warbling and
trilling away after all these years. Starts
Fri., Jan. 25.
AHOFF@PGHCITYPAPER.COM

Jason Statham
never gets tired of
playing the cheeky
criminal who
shoots, jumps
and recklessly
drives his way
out of (or into) trouble.
Parker is another one:
In this actioner from
Taylor Hackford, Statham
plays a thief looking to
get back at the crew that
double-crossed him.
Starts Fri., Jan. 25.

{BY AL HOFF}

E

VERY NOW and then, a not-so-uncommon crime explodes into national consciousness, and becomes
the ﬂashpoint for other larger, unresolved societal issues. So it was on April
19, 1989, when a young white female
jogger was beaten and raped in New York
City’s Central Park. Amid a media frenzy,
ﬁve black and Puerto Rican teen-age boys
were swiftly apprehended and charged;
later, they were convicted and sent to jail.
More than a decade later, the sentences
were vacated; they hadn’t done it.
What happened — what went very
wrong and why — is the focus of The
Central Park Five. The documentary is
co-directed by Sarah Burns (who wrote a
book on the case), her father (and noted
documentarian) Ken Burns and her husband, David McMahon.
Because the response to the crime reﬂected the time and place, the ﬁlmmakers ﬁrst set the scene. In the late 1980s,
New York City was a city reveling in a
new period of ostentatious wealth, but
also reeling from institutional poverty,

Center of the storm: Yusef Salaam, during the trial

violence spurred by the crack wars and
youth gangs, and media-driven racial
ﬂare-ups. It was the perfect Petri dish for
the jogger case to be blown up and fueled
by anxieties and tensions rather than
carefully investigated. For the psychic
good of the city, the crime simply had to
be solved.

CP APPROVED
In contemporary interviews, the Central Park Five — Antron McCray, Kevin
Richardson, Raymond Santana, Kharey
Wise and Yusef Salaam — recount the
events of that night, their subsequent
interrogation, and how, in matter of
hours, they confessed to a crime they
didn’t commit. From the start, the city
roared — from bombastic media (who

coined the term “wilding”) and outraged
citizens, to politicians and other public
ﬁgures eager to advance agendas. The
ﬁlmmakers chieﬂy use archival footage here, though the occasional journalist, lawyer or public ﬁgure reﬂects
back. (There are no interviews with the
cops or prosecutors.) Even armchair
jurists will be alarmed at how the
investigation, interrogation and subsequent trial unfolded.
Despite the resolution, this is a grim
story. What’s clear in hindsight is a devastating irony: a city so eager to prove
that the system worked ultimately only
proved how the system failed. It’s a
sobering ﬁlm that details a past injustice, but also puts us on notice. If such
an emotionally and racially loaded
incident happened today, would the
system work any better? Would the
media be less complicit and reactionary, and would we just accept the “facts”
because they ﬁt a believable story
supported by our own prejudices? We
can hope, but it seems unlikely.
A H OF F @ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

26

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.23/01.30.2013

England town, much consternation and several
cover-ups ensue — though perhaps not what you’d
expect. John Forsythe and Shirley MacLaine star
in Alfred Hitchcock’s breezy 1955 comedy, which
is closer to a slamming-door stage farce than a
murder thriller. 10 p.m. Fri., Jan. 25, and 10 p.m. Sat.,
Jan. 26. Oaks (AH)

FILM CAPSULES
CP

= CITY PAPER APPROVED

NEW

FLASHDANCE. In this heartfelt 1983 drama
from Adrian Lyne, plucky Pittsburgh welder and
performance artiste Alex (Jennifer Beals) won’t let
any of life’s roadblocks keep her from her dream
of dancing for the ballet. Or, in this howlingly
funny camp classic, a disco-driven bimbo gyrates
her wet-T-shirted way out of South Side titty bars
and changes classical ballet forever with her bumpand-grind routine. What a feeling! To be screened
in Hecklevision, in which derisive live tweets appear
on screen, supplied by comedy crew Hustlebot. 9
p.m. Sat., Jan. 26. Hollywood. $10.

HAN SEL AN D GRETEL: WITCH HUN TERS.
Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton star as a
re-imagined Hansel and Gretel, bounty-hunters
who track witches. Tommy Wirkola directs this
actioner. Starts Fri., Jan. 25.
MOVIE 43. A lot of big names — Naomi Watts,
Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Halle Berry,
Richard Gere and many more — show up in
this raucous comedy. It’s a compendium of short
films, stitched together by a plot device that
should inspire caution: Three kids search the
Internet for the best (worst?) banned movies.
Also, there are 12 directors listed. Starts Fri.,
Jan. 25.

Holy Motors

REPERTORY

VIN TAGE SKATEBOARD MOVIES. Catch
a 1976 short, “Skateboarding Safety,” to be
followed by a rare screening of Jason Cameron’s
1975 Australian doc The Ultimate Flex Machine.
Presented by local skate shop Scumco & Sons.
7:30 p.m. Wed., Jan. 23. Melwood. $5
REVEAL THE PATH. A bicycle documentary
from the same team that brought you last year’s
Ride the Divide. In this film, Mike Dion’s cameras
follow world-class bikers as they pedal through
some of the world’s most visually stunning —
and physically challenging — locales. Filmed on
four continents, the riders traverse mountains
(Nepal), valleys (Scotland), beaches (Alaska) and
deserts (Morocco). The screening is a benefit for
BikePGH. 7 p.m. Thu., Jan. 24. SouthSide Works.
$10 in advance at www.imathlete.com/events/
revealthepath; $15 at door
GENOCIDE: WORSE THAN WAR. Mike DeWitt’s
2009 essay, which originally screened on PBS,
follows Daniel Jonah Goldhagen as he examines
various genocides across the globe. Screens as
part of Duquesne’s Human Rights Film Series. 7
p.m. Thu., Jan. 24. 105 College Hall. Duquesne
University, Uptown. Free. www.duq.edu
SUSHI GIRL. Kern Paxton directs this crime
thriller about an uneasy reunion of thieves.
One has just been released from prison, after
spending six years keeping his mouth shut.
But at the celebratory dinner — sushi served
on the body of a naked woman at an isolated
restaurant — tensions run high. Who’s hiding
what, and why? 7:30 p.m. Thu., Jan. 24; 9 p.m.
Fri., Jan. 25; and 7 p.m. Sun., Jan. 27. Hollywood

OF MR. BAKER. It’s a strong sign
CP BEWARE
you’re in for a wild ride when this documentary
opens with its subject — legendary rock drummer
Ginger Baker — smashing the director, Jay Bulger,
in the face with his cane. As we learn, Baker is
prone to outbursts of bad or inexplicable behavior,
even in his dotage, but fortunately, he’s also an
amusing raconteur. His interviews with Bulger
form the narrative spine of this biographical doc.
It begins in Baker’s troubled youth and his early
digressions into jazz and drugs (both lifelong love
affairs), through the formation of the massively
influential rock band Cream and seemingly a dozen
other mind-bending, short-lived rock bands, to
his current stint on a South African horse farm.
Bulger checks in with various estranged colleagues,
including Cream’s other two members (Eric Clapton
and Jack Bruce), as well as family members and stilladoring contemporary musicians. There’s a great
store of archival footage, from demented-looking
1960s British TV shows to Baker wandering through
Nigeria in a dashiki. You may have reckoned that the
infamously self-destructive, drug-addled madman
of the drums was long dead. Well, he ain’t, and
he’s got the swinging cane to prove it. 7 p.m.
Fri., Jan. 25; 7 p.m. Sat., Jan. 26; and 4 p.m. Sun.,
Jan. 27. Hollywood (AH)
HOLY MOTORS. Leos Carax’s film about
film (and other things) is a heady and headchallenging ride. We tag along with “Oscar” (Denis
Lavant), an actor portraying various characters
throughout the day, using his limo as a dressing
room. When Oscar exits the limo, he is variously a
wild man, a grumpy dad, an assassin, an old woman
and so on. The scenes likewise run the gamut from
melodrama, satire and digitally rendered fantasy.
Reduced as such, Holy Motors sounds coherent, but

instead it’s an audacious romp through a funhouse
of narratives, themes and visuals. By turns, it’s
frustrating and funny, tedious and thrilling, oblique
and obvious. Much about Holy Motors is openended: It could be a satire, a character(s) study, an
homage to performance and cinema (plenty of nods
here for the cineaste), a rumination on everyday
role-playing, a poke in the eye from some arthouse
elitist, or all of the above. In French, with subtitles.
Fri., Jan. 25, through Tue., Jan. 29. Melwood (AH)

A CLOCKWORK ORAN GE. In Stanley Kubrick’s
1971 adaptation of Anthony Burgess’ satiric
novel, we follow the exploits of young Alex
(Malcolm McDowell), a troubled youth of the
near future with a penchant for ultra-violence,
who is ordered by the authorities to undergo
“reconditioning.” The film continues a Saturdaynight series of Oscar classics. Midnight, Sat.,
Jan. 26. Manor
BLAZIN G SADDLES. OK, so cowboys and beans
don’t mix, but Mel Brooks’ riotous send-up of
Westerns, riddled with gleefully offensive jokes,
holds together just fine. Brooks’ 1974 laughfest starring Gene Wilder, Cleavon Little and the
incomparable Madeline Kahn concludes a monthlong, Sunday-night series of films that were mindblowing when released. 8 p.m. Sun., Jan. 27.
Regent Square
SAVIN G FACE. The 2012 Oscar-winning short,
from Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy and Daniel Junge,
documents doctors in Pakistan who help women
scarred in domestic attacks. Also screening:
“Killing Us Softly 4,” the latest program in Jean
Kilbourne’s series, this one focusing on gender
bias in advertising. Screens as part of Duquesne’s
Human Rights Film Series. 7 p.m. Tue., Jan. 29. 105
College Hall. Duquesne University, Uptown. Free.
www.duq.edu
GROUNDHOG DAY. In this neo-classic 1993 charmer
from Harold Ramis, Bill Murray plays a Pittsburgh
weatherman who gets trapped in a time loop while
covering the annual festivities in Punxsutawney.
7:30 p.m. Thu., Jan. 31. AMC Loews. $5

CP

Movie 43
THE TROUBLE WITH HARRY. When a dead body
is discovered in the woods outside a sleepy N ew

ds, fam
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Whether you are with frien
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for you, and is close to home
adventure that is just right

N E W S

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TA S T E

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M U S I C

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S C R E E N

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A R T S

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E V E N T S

800.925.7669
laurelhighlands.org
+

C L A S S I F I E D S

27

[ART REVIEW]

“HEY, MAYBE YOU’D NEVER COME TO AN ART
GALLERY, BUT YOU SHOULD CHECK THIS OUT.”

Romper Room, now showing at SPACE
Gallery, is supposed to be about youth.
And really, what could be more sophomoric than a skateboard ramp, walls
of graffiti and racks of knickknacks? To
mature adults (read: sellouts), Romper
Room looks less like installation art than a
giant roomful of debris — action figures,
drawings, an overturned shopping cart,
etc. But to a messy young punk rocker, the
seven-artist exhibit is a rebellious utopia.
Taken as a whole, Romper Room is as
noisy as a teen-ager’s bedroom, but when
you zoom in on the details, the in-jokes
surface. One standout is Jae Ruberto’s pair
of hanging photographs, “Kevin Driscoll:
Boston’s Only Professional Santa and
Ventriloquist.” Another is Jen Cooney’s
“Tree Fort,” a makeshift tent filled with
significant kitsch. You are encouraged to
crawl inside, lie on the quilt of rugs
and admire the
confined scenery.
For this critic,
Romper Room is
eerily nostalgic,
because it harkens
back to Oakland in
the late 1990s. New
undergrads won’t recall Tela Ropa, Club
Laga, Sombrero Man, the Graffiti Rock
Challenge or art films at the old Beehive
Coffeehouse. All of these icons have been
usurped by chain stores. Fifteen years
ago, Forbes Avenue was a place of gritty
landscapes and perceived danger, where
anarchists skulked in the alleyways and
everybody looked stoned, particularly the
Miami Subs cashiers. Adventure lurked
behind every spray-painted Dumpster.
Blink, and you’d find a drum circle beneath
an old bridge. If your youth was vibrant
and flirted with self-destruction, Romper
Room will likely trigger this feeling.
To see that rebellious expression
revived in SPACE Gallery is a surreal
experience, because it’s like trapping a
venomous frog in a Mason jar. Romper
Room is quirky, eerie, laugh-out-loud
funny, but it’s also harmless. Here, adult
artists replicate the iconography they
surely worshipped as younger people. The
guest curator, Ladyboy, has done a commendable job of creating atmosphere,
and the place is worth a visit. But there’s
a problem: The surfaces aren’t sticky, and
the air doesn’t smell of burnt coffee or
cigarettes. In real life, this kind of clutter
takes slackers months and years to
collect. Hippie feng shui is deliberate, yet
not forced. If you want to see homage,
Romper Room is a creative diversion. If
you want to see the genuine article, try
Belvedere’s on a Friday night.

{BY CATHERINE SYLVAIN}

A

NYONE WHO’S been to an 826 Na-

tional Chapter knows that they’re
.something special. The youth writing and tutoring centers operate behind
quirky storefronts in eight cities nationwide, including Washington, D.C., Los Angeles and New York. The organization takes
its name from the original 826 Valencia St.
address in San Francisco where it was conceived by author and McSweeney’s founder
Dave Eggers in a “Pirate Supply Store.” Since
July, a nonproﬁt based on the 826 template
called The LAB (“Literary Arts Boom”) has
been operating in Garﬁeld, overseen by
“lead experimentalist” Paula Levin.
Open for business in Penn Avenue’s Assemble gallery is a “Mad Science Supply”
pop-up store that provides an outreach tool
for The LAB. Behind an array of surreal products for sale — including “Time Travel Capsules” and “Transparent Person Detectors”
—there’s a space where kids ages 6 through
18 can come after school for free weekly
homework help and tutoring sessions run
by volunteers.
“Teachers are really crunched for time

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.23/01.30.2013

{PHOTOS BY HEATHER MULL}

The LAB’s Paula Levin does a timed writing exercise with Tyrek, age 11, where they exchange work and
take turns critiquing and proofreading.

and resources,” says Levin, 32, who began
the project as part of her public-policy
masters’-degree studies at Carnegie Mellon University “Having a space that’s outside of that system and that pressure is
good for everybody.”

Particularly when that space is a little
wacky. Along with homework help, The LAB
holds free youth workshops every Monday.
These “Experi-Monday” sessions provide
innovative ways to improve literacy. Past
workshops have been devoted to “Choose
Your Own Adventure,” kinetic poetry and a
four-week “Comics Club” that resulted in a
chapbook of student work being published
and sold in the storefront.
“I read in a report that kids in elementary

school now are going to write more than
any previous generation,” says Levin. “It’s
technology. So much of the world is sending
emails and we’re [inundated] with them.
Kids need to be able to write clearly.”
The LAB was given a Spark Award by
the Sprout Fund, and Levin holds a fellowship from CMU’s Heinz College that allows
her to work on the project full time. After
six months, The LAB has had more 200
youth participants, 40 volunteers and a
regular crowd at the Tuesday homework
help sessions.
While kids from any community are
welcome, most who have visited so far are
from surrounding neighborhoods. At one
I attended, in December, Levin hadn’t ﬁnished chalking the blackboard that advertises the two-hour open house before R.J.,
10, had snuck up behind her and tickled
her. A Garﬁeld local, R.J. attends Arsenal
School and has been coming for homework
help consistently enough to have a rapport
with the volunteers. After completing The
LAB’s weekly writing prompt, he attempted
to charm his way out of doing his math

“Ten, 15 years ago, you wouldn’t want to
walk through this neighborhood at night,”
says Boyer. “It’s great to know there’s a place
you can drop your kids off in a healthy, creative environment where they are safe and
there’s a structure where they can learn.
The more you reach out to the community
and say, ‘Hey, maybe you’d never come to
an art gallery, but you should check this
out,’ the better.”
Levin is branching out from the 826
model by incorporating forays into science. One writing workshop was devoted
to hybrid inventions, and Levin is interested
in having LAB students involved in creating the mad-science-themed products for
the storefront. She is eager to collaborate
with those with scientiﬁc backgrounds as
well as artists and teachers. “We can’t be
everything,” Levin repeatedly laments. She
intends The LAB to eventually become 826
Pittsburgh — though applications for 826
afﬁliation are closed until next January —
and move into its own location. For the time
being, The LAB is still experimenting.

IN THE MOMENT
{BY STEVE SUCATO}

Wendell Cooper {PHOTO COURTESY OF KARIM PARRIS}

Volunteer tutor Karryn Lintelman reads
The Tortoise and The Hare to Faith, age 5.

INFO@ PGHC ITY PAP ER.CO M

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Every time
you click
“reload,” the
saints cry.

[DANCE]

homework so he could paint the mural in
Assemble devoted to expressing “Why I
love Garﬁeld.”
The “Mad Science” storefront proved a
lure for Obi, 9, who attends Waldorf School.
He had decided to drop in for the ﬁrst time
after his mother purchased him some Mix N
Cats toy-cat parts in the store. He mouthed
“This is awesome,” and told his mother she
could leave him to ﬁnish his homework and
discuss fantasy novels with the volunteers.
“Mad Science” seems an apt metaphor
for how The LAB blends groups and ideas.
Aside from sharing space with Assemble,
Levin frequently collaborates with the artand-technology gallery on programming.
The LAB creates a structure in which artists
who are new to Garﬁeld can connect with
more established neighborhood families.
Volunteers at The LAB have included mixed
media artist Sam Perry, 23; comic-book artist
Everett Glenn, 27; and Gene Boyer, 46, president of a local construction company.

TA S T E

Gia Cacalano says it was the lure of the
ocean’s smell and distant sound that beckoned her and her 7-year-old daughter to
continue a long hike that led them to an
as-yet-unseen Atlantic.
The pair’s nature adventure this past
summer, in Bangor, Maine — coupled with
the anticipation of her daughter seeing
the ocean for the first time — inspired the
dancer-choreographer’s new solo work,
“The Property.” It’s the first of three pieces
on her latest Gia T. Presents program at
Wood Street Galleries on Jan. 26.
Set to an original electronica score
composed and performed live by longtime
collaborator Jeff Berman, the 25-minute work, like all of her dances, is what
Cacalano refers to as an “instant composition.” It’s a form of improvisation she
describes as “choreography in the moment
of choice.” The work
will also feature an
abstract background
video by guest artist
Wendell Cooper (a.k.a.
Complex Stability).
In addition to
providing video compositions for all three
works on the program,
Cooper, a Pittsburgh
native now living in
New York City, will
dance in two of them, including a 20-minute version of his solo work “[Bodied].”
Cooper is a practitioner of naturebased healing. Like Cacalano, he subscribes
to a form of instant composition in his
dance works. In “[Bodied]” (which contains
adult subject matter), he will improvise
a blend of urban dance forms including
breakdancing and voguing with contemporary modern dance. He’ll also rap and
sing to create a performance experience
that he says “began as a memoir and
channels a powerful stream of my family
karma as a queer, indigenous, multimedia
performance-based healing artist.”
In a video clip of a prior performance
on Cooper’s website, the work revealed
a marriage of the flamboyance of gay
night-club dancing with a complex narrative about fragmented sensory perception
and how our minds and bodies process
stimuli and information.
The final piece on the program,
“Duet,” will pair Cacalano and Cooper in
a 15-minute dance framed around several
preconceived choreographic phrases that
the two will use as jumping-off points
for their “instant composition.”
Following this Pittsburgh premiere,
Cacalano and Cooper will perform
the program in late February in
Manchester, England.

VIVE LA RÉVOLUTION! Meet me at the
barricade, comrades, and we’ll overthrow
the nasty French aristocracy!
But ﬁrst, let’s sing about it for three
hours.
To celebrate the 25th anniversary of
its Broadway premiere, the fourth national tour of Les Misérables pulls into
town as part of the PNC Broadway Across
America series. The sweep! the saga!
the spectacle! ... haven’t necessarily made
it onto the tour bus, but God knows you
get a hell of a lot of music.
Les Miz (as we glitterati like to call it)
was an entry in, and driving force behind,
the “popera” musical-theater movement
of the ’80s. Beginning with CATS, these
shows were entirely through-sung, with
no dialogue and lots of lush melodies,
intense romanticism and — above all —
tons and tons of stage pageantry.
Taken from the Victor Hugo novel,
Les Miz is about this guy named Jean
Valjean, who was jailed for stealing a
loaf of bread and 17 years later is still
being chased by Inspector Javert. (That

But it’s a huge hit, so what do I know?
I also must confess that this tour
leaves me cold. Touring productions are,
by design, cut down and streamlined.
It’s an economic necessity. But the only
thing CATS, Les Miz et al. have going for
them is spectacle.
Les Miz is known for its famous revolving stage and physical grandiosity.
But this is Les Miz-lite; no revolve and
limited proportions, with projections on
the back wall meant as a replacement.
Which turns out to be a problem: Take
away the spectacle of Les Miz and you’re
left with, well, Les Miz — which, since
it’s based on a 1,300-page novel, is really only a musicalized version of a Cliff’s
{PHOTO COURTESY OF DEEN VAN MEER}
Notes’ Les Misérables.
The Les Misérables cast asks, “Where did the rest of the Broadway production go?”
Andrew Varela sings the role of Javert
Atkins Diet really screws you up.) Along chael Schönberg’s score is both overblown with a great deal of power and intenthe way Valjean adopts a little girl, dedi- and underdeveloped and the English lyr- sity, serving as a perfect counterpoint to
cates his life to God and ends up ﬁghting ics, by Herbert Kretzmer (original French the lyrical yearnings of Peter Lockyer’s
Valjean. I’d hate to be Genevieve LeClerc,
in a French Revolution that’s not the one
who, playing Fantine, has to sing “I
you’re thinking of.
LES MISÉRABLES
Dreamed a Dream,” which I overheard
It’s impossible to overstate what a
continues through Sun., Jan. 27.
many people in the lobby calling “the Suworldwide phenomenon Les Miz has
Benedum Center for the Performing Arts,
719 Liberty Ave., Downtown. 412-456-6666
san Boyle song.” But LeClerc has a great
become. In some countries, theaters were
or www.pgharts.org
voice and does very well.
built speciﬁcally to house the show; it’s
All in all, it’s a very professional probeen on Broadway two different times;
text by Alain Boublil and Jean-Marc Na- duction of a somewhat reduced theatrical
and now, of course, there’s the movie.
I can’t really say I’m a fan. Claude-Mi- tel), are what is known as “serviceable.” juggernaut.
I N F O@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

3. Cell Phone Disco
Tito & Exchange Way
A surface that visualizes the electromagnetic ﬁeld of an
active mobile phone. Several thousand lights illuminate
when you make or receive a phone call near the installation.

CONSOL Energy Hot Spot > Re-energize with this
Pittsburgh-based producer of coal and natural gas.
Continuum Dance Company > Excerpts of THE
MOVEMENT, created by Sarah Parker. Performances
at 6, 7 and 8pm.

courage and triumph of athletes who boycotted, participated
in or were barred from the Games.
Pittsburgh: Reclaim, Renew, Remix > Imagery,
ﬁlm and oral history narratives dedicated to honoring and
preserving Black culture in Southwestern Pennsylvania.
971 Liberty Avenue, 2nd Floor Gallery [not universally accessible]
Art by Keith Schmiedline and live music by Dylan Reynolds.

7. 811 Liberty Avenue

14. Urban Pathways Gallery

Arcade Comedy > The brand new Arcade Comedy

914 Penn Avenue

Theater in the Cultural District, featuring Pittsburgh’s best
sketch, improvisational and alternative comedy year-round.
Time to Play! arcadecomedytheater.com

The Heart is Lonely... > Student artwork based on
the works of Jacob Lawrence; Poetry Slam at 6 and 7:30pm;
plus the Sounds of Steel steel pan band.

8. Catholic Charities
Susan Zubik Welcome Center

15. CAPA
111 Ninth Street

212 Ninth Street

Future Memories, Future Myths > Works by CAPA

Creative Reuse > During the fall of 2012, students

Visual Arts students and curated by Rafael Abreu-Canedo.

at Manchester Craftsmen’s Guild took part in a unique
after-school art course, creating art from materials
supplied by the Pittsburgh Center for Creative Reuse.

16. Future Tenant

9. Awesome Books

created from reclaimed and urban wood.

929 Liberty Avenue
An independent bookstore offering new and used books.

10

11. Toonseum

linocuts inspired by classic ﬁlms.

second ﬂoor

materials, you supply the creativity.

SEV

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WO

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13. Tonic

Celebration: Associated Artists of Pittsburgh >

Carnegie Library > Button-making! We supply the

1

ENUE
TY AV

Loren Kantor > Prints from carved woodcuts and

10. 937 Liberty Avenue

fourth ﬂoor

8
6 7
AWB

Tiny Harris Gallery

third ﬂoor
A showcase of AAP’s members’ work.

4 5

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sponsors:

new, self-generative video installations, including the world
premiere of Digital-Archi (Meta Cities).

REET

Text “CRAWL” to
SMASH (76274)
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Power Pixels 2013: Miguel Chevalier > Two

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1. Wood Street Galleries

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A Production of:

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Friday, Jan. 25, 2013
5:30–9pm

E
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TENT

in the Cultural District

21. Night Market 3
131 Seventh Street
Bringing together some of Pittsburgh’s most creative
independent vendors, artists and desserts to an indoor market.

In Italian composer Domenico
Cimarosa’s 18th-century opera
il Matrimonio Segreto, Paolino
and Carolina secretly marry.
Complications arise in this complex romantic comedy, newly
staged by Pittsburgh Opera at
Downtown’s CAPA Theater.
The show, conducted by Sarah
Jobin, stars Pittsburgh Opera
resident artists, with tenor
Juan Jose de Leon as Paolino
and soprano Meredith Lustig
as Carolina. The opera is performed in Italian, with English
text projected above the stage.
Tonight is a special preview
performance, with four more
to follow. Jeff Ihaza 7 p.m.
Show continues through Feb. 3.
111 Ninth St., Downtown.
$40.75 (additional performances
$50.75). 412-456-6666 or
www.pittsburghopera.org

{STAGE}

With its cast of 26, plus an
orchestra, 1776 is billed as
Pittsburgh Public Theater’s
biggest production ever. And
that’s not even counting the
larger-than-life characters and
storyline in the 1969 Sherman
Edwards and Peter Stone

+ FRI., JAN. 25
{DANCE}

JAN. 25

Mark Eddie

musical about the drama surrounding the signing of the
Declaration of Independence.
The show, a critical and commercial Broadway success,
was successfully revived in
1997. It centers on the efforts
of Congressman John Adams
(played by George Merrick,
pictured) to corral signatories. Other luminaries include
Jefferson (Keith Hines, from
the Public’s Camelot), Franklin
(Steve Vinovich) and Edward

The Pillow Project keeps seeking new twists on dance. This
weekend, Pearlann Porter’s
company premieres the
feature-length version of her
Backlit in a Whole New D.
The approach matches the
improvisational style Porter
calls “Freejazz” with an innovative lighting scheme that
makes everything pop in an
extra dimension … after you
put on those familiar goofy
glasses, that is. The hour-long,
non-narrative work features
dancers Riva Strauss, Zek
Stewart, Grant Haralson, Anna
Thompson and Taylor Knight
performing to instrumental
music by The Beastie Boys.
Plus, enjoy “mini-martini/jazz
sessions” before and after each
of the four performances.
BO 8 and 11 p.m. Also 8 and
11 p.m. Sat., Jan. 26. $10.
412-225-9269 or
www.pillowproject.org

{ART}

JAN. 25

{PHOTO COURTESY OF CASSIE KAY}

Backlit In a
Whole New D

32

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.23/01.30.2013

World-renowned French
digital artist Miguel Chevalier
unveils new work at Wood
Street Galleries. This pioneer
of virtual art is known for
works like his interactive
virtual island in Sao Paolo
and “Seconde Nature,” a
permanent virtual garden in
Marseilles. (In 2006, he exhibited his animated video map
“RGB Land” at Wood Street.)
Power Pixels 2013 includes the
world premiere of Chevalier’s
self-generative video installation, “Digital-Archi (Meta
Cities).” The opening is part of
the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust’s
quarterly Gallery Crawl, an
evening of free live music,
visual art, comedy and more
at 27 Downtown venues.
BO 5:30-9 p.m. Wood Street:

In solidarity with a march for
gun control in Washington,
Live comedy makes its way to
the Latitude 40 entertainment D.C, Pittsburgh PACT (Public
complex, in Robinson. Starting Action Communitarian
Theater) hosts an event
tonight, the expansive, VegasDowntown today featuring
styled entertainment center
opens the doors of its newly
opened Latitude Live room
to touring comedian Mark
Eddie. Eddie, a former
Pittsburgher, was a
professional rocker
before he turned to
comedy. He’s known for
blending acoustic guitar — and adaptations
of hit songs — with his
JAN. 31
comedy in a fashion
Mária Majda
that is “unmatched,”
Guessous
according to no less an
authority than Doors guitarist Robbie Krieger JI 8 p.m.
200 Quinn Drive, Robinson.
$5-25. 317-813-6565 or
works by a variety of writers
www.latitude40pitt.com
and performers. The event
includes short plays, essays,
{ART}
monologues and more by local
Silver Eye Center presents
authors as well as national
new exhibits by the winners
and international submissions
of its annual Fellowship 13
received by New York-based
International Photography
activist troupe NoPassport
Competition. International
for a similar event in D.C.
Fellowship honoree Diane
The works will staged at
Meyer offers Time Spent That
Might Otherwise Be Forgotten,
the California-based artist’s
series incorporating cross-stitch
embroidery into photographs.
The Keystone Award winner
(for a Pennsylvania photographer) is Ross Mantle, whose
California, Pennsylvania
reflects the experience of road
trips from California, Pa., to
the Golden State. The opening
reception is tonight, a gallery
talk by the artists tomorrow.
BO 6-8:30 p.m. Gallery talk:
10 a.m. Sat., Jan. 26. Exhibit
continues through March 16.
1015 E. Carson St., South
Side. Free. 412-431-1810 or
www.silvereye.org

Bricolage Productions’s space
with help from area actors,
directors and other stage artists. Local groups CeaseFirePA
and One Pittsburgh are
co-sponsors. JI 4 p.m. 937
Liberty Ave., Downtown.
Free. pghpact@gmail.com

{PHOTO COURTESY OF
ANGFAZZ PHOTOGRAPHY}

{PHOTO COURTESY OF LISA RAYMOND}

What costume shall the poor girl wear? Nico donned many roles, from model and actress to Warhol superstar, Velvet Underground
chanteuse and cult-favorite solo artist. The German-born Nico died in 1988, a seeming enigma. But to performance artist Tammy Lang
— best known as her evangelical country-singer alter ego Tammy Faye Starlite — Nico is graspable, if mysterious. In 2010 stage show
Chelsea Mädchen, Starlite embodies Nico in what’s largely a recreation of a wide-ranging 1986 radio interview. Interspersed are incharacter renditions of Nico’s Velvets classics (like “All Tomorrow’s Parties”) and signature covers: Bowie’s “Heroes,” The Door’s “The
End,” “My Funny Valentine,” backed by a live band. She also dishes on Lou Reed, John Cale and paramours like Bob Dylan and Jim
Morrison. A performance for The Andy Warhol Museum’s Off the Wall series is the show’s first outside New York or Los Angeles. Starlite,
long smitten with Warhol, loves Nico’s Warholesque interviews. “I’m a big fan of non sequiturs,” she says in a phone interview, and
Chelsea Mädchen is surprisingly comic. She sees Nico as less mysterious than nihilistic, or simply fatalistic: “I don’t think the surface of
the world mattered to her.” But Nico’s music rang true. “There was nothing false about any way that she sang,” says Starlite. “There
was nobody like her.” Bill O’Driscoll 8 p.m. Fri., Jan. 25. 117 Sandusky St., North Side. $20-25. 412-237-8300 or www.warhol.org

+ SUN., JAN. 27
{STAGE}

Each year, Dreams of Hope
and its youth performance
troupe create an original stage show to raise
awareness about LGBT
issues. Employing spoken
word, movement, drama,
percussion and song, they
visit community centers,
churches, universities, high
schools, corporate-diversity
events and union halls, and
conclude each show with
a youth-led discussion. But
before this year’s Department
of Hope hits the road, they’re
previewing it for free today,
at the August Wilson Center
for African American Culture.
Department of Hope imagines
an academy where “agents
of change” expose policies
and rules that work against
people with lesbian, gay,
bisexual, transgender, queer or

Besides hits like “The Way We
Were,” Hamlisch was known
for his long association with
the Pittsburgh Symphony
Orchestra, for which he was
Principal Pops Conductor.
Tonight, the PSO honors him
with One Singular Sensation,
a star-studded tribute featuring the likes of Idina Menzel
(singing “What I Did for
Love” and more), Lucie Arnaz,
Robert Klein, Kevin Cole and
many more. Net proceeds
benefit the Marvin Hamlisch
Pops Artistic Excellence Fund.
BO 7:30 p.m. Heinz Hall, 600
Penn Ave., Downtown. $35200. 412-392-4900 or www.
pittsburghsymphony.org

+ TUE., JAN. 29
{MUSIC}

By the time of his death this
past August, at age 68, there
was almost no big award
Marvin Hamlisch hadn’t won
for his composing, from
three Oscars to a Pulitzer.

+ WED., JAN. 30

JAN. 24

{COMEDY}

1776

A good sheet cake is one that
effortlessly — and deliciously
— blends its component parts.
The members of improv group
Sheet Cake are bakers in this
regard, blending the longform wit of Sara Micnowski’s
troupe The Leaky Basement

Award-winning folk singer
Mária Majda Guessous,
known as Mesi, brings traditional Hungarian music
to Hazelwood today, with
a multicultural twist. Mesi,
whose father is Moroccan, also
includes Turkish and Moroccan
tunes in her repertoire. As part
of her U.S. tour, she and two
accompanists on traditional
instruments perform tonight at
the First Hungarian Reformed
Church of Pittsburgh. The
concert is co-sponsored by
New York’s Hungarian Cultural
Center. BO 6:30 p.m. 221
Johnston Ave., Hazelwood.
$10-12. 800-848-7366 x136
C L A S S I F I E D S

33

VISUAL
TO SUBMIT A LISTING: HTTP://HAPPENINGS.PGHCITYPAPER.COM

412.316.3388 (FAX) + 412.316.3342 X161 (PHONE)

ART

{ALL LISTINGS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY 9 A.M. FRIDAY PRIOR TO PUBLICATION}

THEATER
1776. Story of how we
went from 13 colonies to
the United States of America.
Tue-Sun. Thru Feb. 24.
O’Reilly Theater, Downtown.
412-316-1600.
THE CHELSEA ARMS. A
musical by Ernest McCarty, Jr.
Thru Feb. 2. Carnegie Library,
Homewood. 412-731-3080.
DEPARTMENT OF HOPE
PREVIEW SHOW. Through
“secret agent” themed acts,
the Dreams of Hope Youth
Performance Troupe explores
the idea of serving as agents
of change. Sun., Jan. 27, 4 p.m.
August Wilson Center for African
American Culture, Downtown.
412-258-2700.
FLIGHT FROM HIMSELF.
One-man show by Mark C.
Thompson about a man who
looks back on his life & discovers
a way to escape his fear. Fri, Sat.
Thru Jan. 26. Off the Wall Theater,
Carnegie. 412-489-5840.

I was so happy to come tonight as a way to express and
honor the work of Dr. Martin Luther King. This year’s
celebration brought the best of the best in terms of choirs
and in terms of races. It’s beautiful to see all races from
black, white to Asian all here celebrating the legacy of Dr.
King. It’s very important and beautiful to see. My favorite
performance was the multi-choir that features a lot of
high school choirs as well as the Sixth Mount Zion Choir in
Pittsburgh. I especially loved their performance of “Total
Praise,” one of my favorite gospel songs.
B Y JE F F IH AZ A

In the 1800s, Old Economy Village was home to the
Harmony Society, a Christian communal group. Now a
National Historic Landmark, the site has been restored to
give visitors a firsthand look at 19th-century life. Historically
minded volunteers are currently needed to be tour guides.
Recruitment meetings will be held at 10 a.m. on Sat.,
Jan. 26, and Wed., Jan. 30. Call 724-266-4500 x110 or visit
www.oldeconomyvillage.org for more information.
MCGINLEY HOUSE & MCCULLY
LOG HOUSE. Historic homes
open for tours, lectures and more.
Monroeville. 412-373-7794.
NATIONAL AVIARY. Home to
more than 600 birds from over
200 species. With classes, lectures,
demos and more. North Side.
412-323-7235.
NATIONALITY ROOMS. 26
rooms helping to tell the story
of Pittsburgh’s immigrant past.
University of Pittsburgh. Oakland.
412-624-6000.
OLD ST. LUKE’S. Pioneer church

BLACK HOLES, BEAKERS,
& BOOKS: THE HOUSE OF
WISDOM. Discussion of the
book The House of Wisdom:
How Arabic Science Saved
Ancient Knowledge & Gave Us
the Renaissance by Jim Al-Khalili.
3:30 p.m. Carnegie Library,
Oakland. 412-622-3151.

Saturday, the PPC hosts Battle of the Slams
at the Union Project. Twenty poets from five cities —
including James — will share their work in two rounds,
each competing for a spot at the National Poetry
Slam. 7 and 9 p.m. Sat., Jan. 26. 801 N. Negley Ave.,
Highland Park. $5 for one round; $8 for both. Visit
www.pghpoetry.org for information.

The story of Tarzan has seen many manifestations, in
literature, video games and live-action and animated
films. Gemini Children’s Theater offers its take on the
well-loved vine-swinger and his lady friend with an
original musical, Tarzan and Jane. The
play is interactive, so audience members can step on
stage and become part of the story. 1 and 3:30 p.m.,
Saturdays and Sundays through Feb. 2. 7501 Penn Ave.,
Point Breeze. $10-12. Call 412-243-5201 or visit
www.geminitheater.org.

SUBMISSIONS
CRAFTSMEN’S GUILD OF
PITTSBURGH NEW MEMBER
SCREENING. Open to 3dimensional artists living
within 100 miles of Pittsburgh.
Drop off work at 12:15pm
Feb. 10, at Pgh Center for the
Arts. Applicants should submit
6 original works of art,
completed within the last 2
years. For information, visit
www.craftsmensguild.org
or email jimwinegar@gmail.com.
Pittsburgh Center for the Arts,
Shadyside. 412-361-0873.
SIGNIFICANT & SUBLIME:
THE CRITICAL ROLE OF
ART TEACHERS IN PUBLIC
EDUCATION. Seeking paintings,
drawings, photography,
sculpture, prints, & mixed
media by current public school
art teachers. Submit 3-5
JPEG images, artist statement
& questions to: significantand
sublime@gmail.com
Panza Gallery, Millvale.
412-821-0959.
WILDCARD. Accepting art
based on theme of “love” for
upcoming show, I Heart Art.
Visit http://wildcardpgh.com/
for entry form. Lawrenceville.
412-224-2651.

{BY DAN SAVAGE}

A friend of mine is a crossdresser considering transitioning. He came out to a female
friend he hadn’t seen in awhile, and she
told her that she wanted her to come to
her house fully dressed for some hot sex.
I told her to go for it, saying gender-transgression play is potentially hot. This girl
(hereafter known as “Evil Bitch”) backed
out as soon as my friend arrived, but
took her out to dinner (still fully dressed)
as consolation. N ow my friend is telling
me that Evil Bitch messaged a bunch of
mutual friends he wasn’t
out to, outing my friend
to them. After my friend
told Evil Bitch that what
went down between them
was private, Evil Bitch just
responded with “LOL k,”
and THEN posted pictures
from their dinner date —
fully dressed — on her
Facebook. Is there anything my friend can do? She’s freaking out
and thinks Evil Bitch ruined her life.

for doing this has NOTHING to do with religion and everything to do with AVOIDING
PREGN AN CY. And, yes, I think it would be
nice to give the man I marry a rare gift on
our wedding night. And with my experiences over the past seven years, I believe
I will be able to keep my future husband
quite happy in the bedroom.
NO NAME

Anal is a highly effective birth-control method,
and there’s only one known case of someone
getting pregnant through
oral sex. (Google around.)
But anal intercourse is also
the most effective means
of HIV transmission — 18
times more effective than
vaginal intercourse — so I
hope you’re using condoms.
And one quibble: If technically you’re still a virgin, then
technically my husband is a
virgin, too. Yeah … no. Your vagina might be a
virgin, but you’re not.

YOUR VAGINA
MIGHT BE
A VIRGIN, BUT
YOU’RE NOT.

FRIEND OF CROSSDRESSER BETRAYED
BY EVIL BITCH

Your pronouns are all over the place. Your friend
is a he, then a she, then a he, then a she. So I’m
gonna stick with “Your Friend,” despite how
clunky it makes my response, because I can’t tell
how Your Friend identiﬁes.
Twenty years ago, Your Friend could’ve
told Your Friend’s relatives and friends that
Your Friend got dressed up for a laugh — and
that Your Friend can’t understand why Evil
Bitch is misrepresenting what they did that
night. But I can only assume that Your Friend
and Evil Bitch exchanged emails, swapped
texts, etc., so Your Friend shouldn’t accuse Evil
Bitch of lying. That will prompt Evil Bitch to
post emails and texts to Facebook, which will
make things worse.
Since Your Friend can’t turn this around,
Your Friend can only get out in front of it. Your
Friend is out about the crossdressing now, at
least, and Your Friend should embrace being out
with as much grace and courage as Your Friend
can muster. Paradoxically, the more at peace
with being out Your Friend appears to be, the
fewer people Your Friend will be outed to. If
Your Friend acts like Your Friend couldn’t care
less who knows, malicious assholes will be less
likely to spread it around.
I’ve known a few people who were outed
by malicious shits — outed as gay or kinky or
swingers or poly or all of the above. It hurts and it
can turn a person’s life upside down. But most of
the people I’ve known who were outed looked
back on the experience a year or two later with
… well … not with gratitude, but they woke up
one day happy to be free of the stress of keeping
their big secret. Maybe Your Friend will feel the
same way.
In the meantime, offer Your Friend your
support, and get in the face of anyone who gives
Your Friend any grief.
I just read your column about evangelical
girls “saddlebacking” (having anal sex in
order to preserve their virginities). I am a
21-year-old and have been sexually active
since age 14. I engage in oral and anal sex.
I have never had vaginal intercourse, so
technically I am still a virgin. My reason

Cri ckuent ge
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PAULIN E “DEAR ABBY” PHILLIPS: I grew up
reading both Eppie “Ann Landers” Lederer in
the Chicago Sun-Times and Pauline “Dear Abby”
Phillips in the Chicago Tribune. I always preferred
Ann’s column — did you know they were twin
sisters? — and I’m actually sitting at Ann’s desk,
which I bought at auction after her death, as I
write this. But I have a newfound appreciation
for Abby after reading Margalit Fox’s terriﬁc obit
in the New York Times (read it here: tinyurl.com/
abbyobit). The obit ends with the most famous
three-word response in the history of the advicecolumn racket:
Dear Abby: Two men who claim to be
father and adopted son just bought
an old mansion across the street and
ﬁxed it up. We notice a very suspicious mixture of company coming and
going at all hours — blacks, whites,
Orientals, women who look like men,
and men who look like women. This
has always been considered one of
the ﬁnest sections of San Francisco,
and these weirdos are giving it a
bad name. How can we improve the
neighborhood?
— Nob Hill Residents
Dear Residents: You could move.
Phillips wrote that decades ago — back when
adult gay men often resorted to adopting their
adult partners because it was the only way to
secure legal protection for their relationships. I
don’t think anyone working in this genre will
ever top it. My sympathies to Jeanne Phillips,
Pauline’s daughter and the current author of the
Dear Abby column.
QUEER READERS: Help advance psychosocial
research, and include the LGB community in
research, while examining critical questions about
the effect of rejection in the lives of LGB people. Adults (18–49) of all sexual orientations are
needed for an important study on the relationship between sexual orientation, rejection and
the attachment system. Go to surveymonkey.
com/s/attachmentandalienation to learn more
and participate.

SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS TO MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET AND FIND THE
SAVAGE LOVECAST (DAN’S WEEKLY PODCAST) AT THESTRANGER.COM/SAVAGE

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39

FOR THE WEEK OF

Free Will Astrology

01.23-01.30

{BY ROB BREZSNY}

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
“N obody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing

whom you might evolve into at some later
date, and instead just love your crazy, mysterious life exactly as it is.

it.” So said the eccentric, outspoken and hard-partying actress

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

Talullah Bankhead (1902-1968). Can you guess her astrological sign? Aquarius, of course. Her greatest adventure came
from trying to keep up with all the unpredictable urges that
welled up inside her. She found it challenging and fun to be
as unique as she could possibly be. I nominate her to be your
role model in the next four weeks. Your assignment is to work
extra hard at being yourself.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

The Dardanelles Strait is a channel that connects
the Black Sea to the Mediterranean Sea, separating Europe from Asia. In some places it’s less
than a mile wide. But the currents are ﬁerce, so
if you try to swim across at those narrow points,
you’re pushed around and end up having to
travel ﬁve or six miles. In light of the current
astrological omens, I’m predicting that you will
have a comparable challenge in the coming
days, Pisces. The task may seem easier or faster
than it actually is. Plan accordingly.

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

The German government sponsored a scientiﬁc
study of dowsing, which is a form of magical
divination used to locate underground sources
of water. After 10 years, the chief researcher
testiﬁed, “It absolutely works, beyond all
doubt. But we have no idea why or how.” An
assertion like that might also apply to the mojo
you’ll have at your disposal, Aries, as you forge
new alliances and bolster your web of connections in the coming weeks. I don’t know how
or why you’ll be such an effective networker,
but you will be.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

The United States Congress spends an inordinate amount of time on trivial matters. For
example, 16 percent of all the laws it passed
in the last two years were devoted to renaming post ofﬁces. That’s down from the average
of the previous eight years, during which time
almost 20 percent of its laws had the sole purpose of renaming post ofﬁces. In my astrological
opinion, you Tauruses can’t afford to indulge in
anything close to that level of nonsense during
the next four weeks. I urge you to keep timewasting activities down to less than ﬁve percent
of your total. Focus on getting a lot of important stuff done. Be extra thoughtful and responsible as you craft the impact you’re having on
the world.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

What if your unconscious mind has dreamed up
sparkling answers to your raging questions but
your conscious mind doesn’t know about them
yet? Is it possible you are not taking advantage
of the sly wisdom that your deeper intelligence
has been cooking up? I say it’s time to poke

around down there. It’s time to take aggressive
measures as you try to smoke out the revelations that your secret self has prepared for you.
How? Remember your dreams, of course. Notice
hunches that arise out of nowhere. And send
a friendly greeting to your unconscious mind,
something like, “I adore you and I’m receptive
to you and I’d love to hear what you have to
tell me.”

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

In his book Our Band Could Be Your Life, Michael Azerrad says that the Cancerian singersongwriter Steve Albini is a “connoisseur of
intensity.” That means he’s picky about what
he regards as intense. Even the two kinds of
music that are often thought of as the embodiment of ferocious emotion don’t make
the grade for Albini. Heavy metal is comical,
he says, not intense. Hardcore punk is childish, not intense. What’s your deﬁnition of intensity, Cancerian? I see the coming weeks as
prime time for you to commune with the very
best expressions of that state of being. Be a
connoisseur of intensity.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):

There’s a butterﬂy sanctuary at the Como Park
Zoo and Conservatory in Saint Paul, Minn..
It’s called the Enchanted Garden. As you enter, you see a sign that reads, “Please do not
touch the butterﬂies. Let the butterﬂies touch
you.” In other words, you shouldn’t initiate contact with the delicate creatures. You
shouldn’t pursue them or try to capture them.
Instead, make yourself available for them to
land on you. Allow them to decide how and
when your connection will begin to unfold. In
the coming week, Leo, I suggest you adopt a
similar approach to any beauty you’d like to
know better.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

Do you ever fantasize about a more perfect version of yourself? Is there, in your imagination,
an idealized image of who you might become
in the future? That can be a good thing if it motivates you to improve and grow. But it might
also lead you to devalue the ﬂawed but beautiful creation you are right now. It may harm your
capacity for self-acceptance. Your assignment in
the coming week is to temporarily forget about

N ovelist Jeffrey Eugenides says he doesn’t
have generic emotions that can be described
with one word. “Sadness,” “joy,” and “regret” don’t happen to him. Instead, he prefers “complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic
train-car constructions,” like “the disappointment of sleeping with one’s fantasy” or “the
excitement of getting a hotel room with a
mini-bar.” He delights in sensing “intimations
of mortality brought on by aging family members” and “sadness inspired by failing restaurants.” In the coming days, Libra, I think you
should specialize in one-of-a-kind feelings like
these. Milk the nuances! Exult in the peculiarities! Celebrate the fact that each new wave of
passion has never before arisen in quite the
same form.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

After analyzing your astrological omens for the
coming weeks, I decided that the best advice
I could give you would be this passage by the
English writer G. K. Chesterton: “Of all modern
notions, the worst is this: that domesticity is
dull. Inside the home, they say, is dead decorum
and routine; outside is adventure and variety.
But the truth is that the home is the only place
of liberty, the only spot on earth where a person can alter arrangements suddenly, make an
experiment or indulge in a whim. The home is
not the one tame place in a world of adventure; it is the one wild place in a world of set
rules and set tasks.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

My general philosophy is that everyone on the
planet, including me, is a jerk now and then. In
fact, I’m suspicious of those who are apparently
so unfailingly well-behaved that they N EVER
act like jerks. On the other hand, some people
are jerks far too much of the time, and should
be avoided. Here’s my rule of thumb: How sizable is each person’s Jerk Quotient? If it’s below
6 percent, I’ll probably give them a chance to
be a presence in my life — especially if they’re
smart and interesting. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Sagittarius, this
gauge may be useful for you to keep in mind
during the coming weeks.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

The French painter Cezanne painted images
of a lot of fruit in the course of his career. He
liked to take his sweet time while engaged in
his work. The apples and pears and peaches
that served as his models often rotted before
he was done capturing their likenesses. That’s
the kind of approach I recommend for you
in the coming days, Capricorn. Be very deliberate and gradual and leisurely in whatever
labor of love you devote yourself to. No rushing allowed! With conscientious tenderness,
exult in attending to every last detail of
the process.

DELIGHT

What’s the best, most healing trouble
you could whip up right now? Testify at
Freewillastrology.com.

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GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM TO CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY
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DISCLAIMER: ALTHOUGH MOST ADVERTISING IN PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER ARE LEGITIMATE BUSINESSES, PRIOR TO INVESTING MONEY OR USING A SERVICE LOCATED
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42

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.23/01.30.2013

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46

PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER 01.23/01.30.2013

TRACK CONVERSION

1. They’re outside
the main stream
7. Quad bike
10. End of the count
at the beginning of
Kraftwerk’s “Numbers”
14. Bob Fosse
Broadway revue
15. Nation with
a National Hurling
League (NHL)
16. Tri-color side,
sometimes
17. With 18-Across,
converted version of a
1975 Pink Floyd song
18. See 17-Across
20. Hard dudes,
brieﬂy, in ‘90s rap
21. Bespangled
Swedish quartet
22. Drink served
at a stand
23. Icon on a pole
26. Sheen’s birth name
28. Genre for
Peter Gabriel’s
“Shakti Monkey,” say
32. Withered
33. European
mountain pasture
34. Dear companion?
35. Grammy winner for
“Lady Marmalade”
37. See 59-Across
41. One may be
wild or golden
42. “Yeah, brah”
43. Certain slitherer
46. Military gp. that
can be called into
active duty
49. Converted version
of 50 Cent’s biggest hit
51. Tabloid’s scoop
54. Back a back, say

55. “Stop. Who would
cross the Bridge of
Death must answer
me these questions
three, ___ the other
side he see.”
56. Type of stick
with a spring
58. Emulating
59. With 37-Across,
converted version
of an LL Cool J classic
61. Subject of a certain
absolute monarchy
65. Device with the
digital slave Siri
66. Org. that I kind
of just can’t write
clues for anymore
67. Person of interest?
68. Man caves, perhaps
69. Foxy?
70. Trembling trees

man Keith Rothfus took his ﬁrst substantive vote — by opposing $9 billion in ﬂood insurance for victims of Superstorm Sandy. Only a small
number of hardline conservatives opposed the bill; even local Republicans Tim Murphy and Mike Kelly supported the aid. Rothfus explained
that while his “thoughts and prayers go out” to storm victims, disaster
aid should be paid for with cuts elsewhere in the budget.
Many Pennsylvanians may have been surprised by Rothfus’ vote.

Last year, he campaigned as a “Regular Guy” — a concerned dad
who worried about deﬁcits, but was still an actual human being.
What about those ads showing him mowing the lawn and ﬁxing his
kids’ bicycles?
City Paper has learned that the Rothfus team is already working on
his 2014 re-election bid. And we’ve gotten an advance copy of a Rothfus
TV ad, which suggests how he’ll reconcile his family-guy persona with
his extremist beliefs. Here’s a preview.
C P OT T E R@ P G HC I T Y PA P E R. C OM

“I’m Congressman Keith Rothfus. And I believe that governments
— just like families — need to have a budget and stick with it. And
in the Rothfus family, that means making some tough choices.”

“Sure, I know how to fix things, honey. But only in ways
that are revenue-neutral. That’s why I’m taking parts from
your bike to fix your sister’s.”

“Our basement flooded last week, doing $20,000 of damage. But
I refuse to go into debt to pay for it. Which means that having
two Alices in the family is a luxury we can no longer afford.”

“I can’t kick out my mother, because that would alienate seniors — and
I won my first election by pretending Democrats endangered Medicare.
But Little Alice here ain’t creating any jobs, and we’re wasting
a lot of money on education and other ‘social services.’ So …”

“Alice, my thoughts and prayers go out to you. Now get
the hell out of the car, and don’t come back until you’ve
found a job of your own.

“Now that we no longer have to listen to your little sister whining,
there’ll be more capital-gains revenue for the rest of us!”