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The 50 Hottest Female Athletes of the 2014 Winter Olympics

The 2014 Winter Olympics have officially begun in Sochi, which means, for the next 18 days, millions of people will be pretending they actually know something about nordic snowshoeing, freestyle tobogganing, dogsledding, or whatever new exotic winter sports they suddenly profess to love. However, we here at Total Pro Sports are going to stick to what we actually know. So on that note, today we present to you our definitive—yes, definitive—list of the hottest female Olympians in Sochi right now.

Some or even most of them may not make it to the Olympic podium. But whether their sport is snowboarding, hockey, or curling, every last one of them is much more accomplished than I’ll ever be at anything. And, come to think of it, the same goes for the women who didn’t make this list. And all the men. And the media people who get to go over and sleep in unfinished hotels and eat Olympic Village McDonald’s, and the volunteers who get that free Olympic Volunteer swag. They’re all better than me.

But hey, at least I got to make this fun list. I hope you enjoy it.

50. Elena Nikitna

Country: RussiaSport: Skeleton

Yes, believe it or not, when this woman isn’t posing for pictures in lingerie and red stilettos she is sliding face-first down an icy track at speeds up to 70 miles per hour. I bet she’s all kinds of fun.

49. Jocelyne Lamoureux

Country: USASport: Hockey

I get this 5’6″ North Dakota native scores the winning goal…to your heart.

48. Tanja Eisenschmid

Country: GermanySport: Ice Hockey

With a name like Eisenschmid, Tanja was born to play eishockey.

(That’s a lame German joke, because Eisenschmid is basically German for “Icesmith.” Get it? Okay never mind.)

47. Keri Herman

Country: USASport: Freestyle Skiing

Since Sochi 2014 will mark the debut of ski slopestyle as an Olympic event, it will also mark the Olympic debut of this gorgeous 31-year-old.

46. Hannah Teter

Country: USASport: Snowboarding

Hannah won gold in the halfpipe in Torino and silver in Vancouver. Does she have it in her to win one more medal at the ripe old age of 27?

45. Anna Prugova

Country: RussiaSport: Ice Hockey

I suddenly feel the urge to watch the Russian women’s hockey team. How about you?

44. Viona Harrer

Country: GermanySport: Ice Hockey

Viona here is the goalie—the prettiest goalie in the world.

43. Ekaterina Galkina

Country: RussiaSport: Curling

Here’s something you probably should know: curling is by far the sexiest sport at the Olympics.

42. Anna Cappellini

Country: ItalySport: Figure Skating

This stunner finished 12th in Vancouver, so obviously she and her partner be looking to improve this time around.

41. Ekaterina Bobrova

Country: RussiaSport: Figure Skating

Ms. Bobrova kind of looks like Maria Sharapova, does she not?

40. Maria Komissarova

Country: RussiaSport: Freestyle Skiing

FYI, Komissarova will not be wearing anything like this out on the slopes. Probably.

39. Janine Flock

Country: AustriaSport: Skeleton

Janine is one of an impressive three skeleton athletes on the list. She’s making her Olympic debut in Sochi.

38. Ekaterina Stolyarova

Country: RussiaSport: Freestyle Skiing

Judging by the women on this list, over 67% of Russian women today are named Ekaterina.

37. Christina Bertrup

Country: SwedenSport: Curling

Though it seems totally impossible, this Swedish curler is actually 37 years old. And as if that weren’t impressive enough, she’s also one of the very few athletes to somehow get a flattering photo taken for her bio. (See?)

36. Alexandra Jekova

Country: BulgariaSport: Snowboarding

She’s only 26, but this will be Alexandra’s third Olympics. Let’s hope it goes better than it did last time, though, when a wipeout out in snowboard cross knocked her out of the Games.

35. Rosalind Groenewoud

Country: CanadaSport: Freestyle Skiing

I’m sure Target Canada decided to sponsor this 24-year-old Calgary native because she is an accomplished freestyle skier with a chance to win a medal in Sochi. However, it doesn’t hurt that she’s absolutely gorgeous.

34. Angelina Goncharenko

Country: RussiaSport: Hockey

If you’re keeping score at home, Angelina is now our second Russian hockey player, which ties them with Germany.

33. Irina Avvakumova

Country: RussiaSport: Ski Jumping

She won’t look like this out on the slopes, because it’s cold and snowy and ski jumping is really hard. But keep this image of her in your head.

32. Torah Bright

Country: AustraliaSport: Snowboarding

This smoking Aussie made a name for herself in Vancouver when she beat out Hannah Teter for gold in the women’s snowboard halfpipe.

31. Kaillie Humphries & Heather Moyse

Country: CanadaSport: Bobsled

This has got to be one of the best-looking female bobsled teams of all-time, right?

30. Julia Dujmovits

Country: AustriaSport: Snowboarding

The Austrians are doing surprisingly well on our list so far. Who knew?

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29. Lara Gut

Country: SwitzerlandSport: Alpine Skiing

I went made several attempts to make some sort of joke about Swiss neutrality, but they were all terrible, so I gave up. You’re welcome.

28. Noelle Pikus-Pace

Country: USASport: Skeleton

The lovely Noelle Pikus-Pace is the third and final skeleton athlete on our list, and she’s American, so…USA! USA!

27. Penny Coomes

Country: United KingdomSport: Ice Dancing

I’m gonna be honest here and say that, after watching events like the alpine downhill or hockey, ice dancing seems pretty boring. However, if I do watch any ice dancing this year, it will probably be because of Penny Cooms and the #9 woman on this list.

26. Vanessa Vanakorn

Country: ThailandSport: Alpine Skiing

But wait, you say, that’s no athlete. That’s Vanessa-Mae, the famous violinist. And you’re right, that is Vanessa-Mae the famous violinist. However, it turns out that her last name is Vanakorn and that she is also an accomplished skier. So she went to the Thai Olympic Federation and asked them to send her to Sochi, and they did.

25. Ashley Wagner

Country: USASport: Figure Skating

When U.S. Figure Skating named Ashley Wagner to the Olympic team over the woman who finished third at Nationals, some people whined that it was just because she’s pretty.

Of course, this was not true, and Wagner was actually named to the team because she had been the best U.S. skater for all of 2013 except for her one bad skate at the Nationals. But, you know, I can see why some people might have assumed it was just because she’s pretty.

24. Chemmy Alcott

Country: United KingdomSport: Alpine Skiing

Chemmy’s official profile photo on the Sochi Olympics website looks like a Lindsay Lohan mugshot. But out on the slopes, under the bright sun, she looks healthy and vivacious.

23. Danielle O'Brien

Country: AustraliaSport: Figure Skating

Australian girls don’t always figure skate, but when they do they’re really hot.

22. Kate Hansen

21. Lisa Theresa Hauser

Lisa is not just really gorgeous, and she’s not just good at cross-country skiing. She’s also good at shooting guns.

Talk about a keeper.

20. Alexandra Saitova

Country: RussiaSport: Curling

If you watch pick just one sport to follow closely during these Winter Olympics…well, make it men’s hockey, because that’s the best. But if you follow two, make the other women’s curling. Some of the athletes competing in that tournament are shockingly good-looking—especially the Russians, three of whom are on this list.

19. Lolo Jones

Country: USASport: Bobsled

As one of America’s top heptathletes, Lolo Jones is one of America’s best all-around female athletes. So while some said her addition to the Olympic bobsled team was a publicity stunt, I think it actually makes a lot of sense.

Then again, even if it is a publicity stunt, since when is getting people to watch, potentially fall in love with, and perhaps one day donate money to your sport a bad thing?

18. Aja Evans

Country: USASport: Bobsled

Of course, for all the talk about Lolo Jones heading to the Winter Games, she isn’t even the hottest member of the U.S. women’s bobsled team.

17. Tatiana Borodulina

16. Tina Weirather

Country: LichtensteinSport: Alpine Skiing

From now on, instead of referring to Lichtenstein as that tiny Alpine principality with just 35,000 citizens that’s nestled in between Switzerland and Austria, you can refer to it as that tiny Alpine principality where the really hot World Cup skier is from.

15. Carmen Schaefer

Country: SwitzerlandSport: Curling

Carmen just missed out on an Olympic medal in Vancouver, when Team Switzerland finished fourth…so she consoled herself by taking a nude dip in some serene mountain lake.

14. Elena Ilinykh

Country: RussiaSport: Figure Skating

First they got burned by Borat. Then this gorgeous 19-year-old Kazakhstan-born skater chose to compete for Russia.

Poor Kazakhstan just can’t catch a break.

13. Jamie Anderson

Country: USASport: Snowboarding

Jamie was born in Lake Tahoe, so becoming an Olympic snowboarder was pretty much her destiny.

12. Stefania Berton

Country: ItalySport: Figure Skating

Fun fact: this gorgeous 23-year-old was born in Asiago, where the cheese on those Panera bagels comes from.

11. Sarah Hendrickson

Country: USASport: Ski Jumping

At just 19 years old, the stunning Sarah Hendrickson is one of the favorites to take the first ever gold medal in women’s ski jumping.

10. Kim Yuna

Country: South KoreaSport: Figure Skating

The gorgeous 2010 Olympic champion will look to make it back-to-back golds in Sochi.

9. Tessa Virtue

Country: CanadaSport: Ice Dancing

Tessa and her ice dancing partner Scott Moir won the gold in ice dancing in 2010. So Tessa isn’t just hot. She’s Olympic champion hot.

8. Sara Hurtado

Country: SpainSport: Figure Skating

That’s right. They figure skate in Spain…and they look damn good doing it.

7. Gracie Gold

Country: USASport: Figure Skating

If Gracie Gold manages to actually win gold in Sochi, with that name and that face, I predict she’ll become one of the most famous American female Olympians of all-time.

6. Ina Meschik

Country: AustriaSport: Snowboarding

Theory: after finishing sixth in the parallel giant slalom in Vancouver, Austria’s Ina Meschik decided to let her board get to third base with her as an incentive to do better in Sochi.

Alternative theory: Ina Meschik is just hot and wants everyone to know it.

5. Tina Maze

Country: SloveniaSport: Alpine Skiing

Tina Maze has one hell of a resume. She was the overall World Cup winner in 2013, she’s the current Super-G world champ, and she’s one of just three women to have won races in all five alpine disciplines in a single World Cup season. Oh, and she won two silver medals four years ago in Vancouver. And on top of all that she’s ridiculously hot.

3. Silje Norendal

2. Anna Sidorova

Meet Anna, the skip (captain) of the Russian Olympic women’s curling team—which I’m pretty sure is the sexiest curling team of all-time.

1. Julia Mancuso

Country: USASport: Alpine Skiing

I did not expect this three-time Olympic medalist (one gold, two silvers) to top the list. I’ve seen a lot of photos of her over the years, so I knew she was gorgeous. But I didn’t think she was “#1 on the list of hottest female olympians” gorgeous. Then I came across this photo and saw the errors of my ways.

All hail Julia Mancuso, the hottest female athlete at the 2014 Winter Games.