John Goodman brings the goods to ‘Saturday Night Live’

Facts: This is John Goodman’s 13th time to host Saturday Night Live, something he has not done in 13 years. 13 years! That’s a really long time! Entirely too long, too, because John Goodman — he’s a pretty great host! (Which probably helps explain why he’s hosted 12 times before.) I mean he’s no Jimmy Fallon (next week, y’all) or Justin Timberlake (also next week, get so excited). But Goodman is so charming, so game and clearly enjoying himself so much that you can’t help but like him. Yes, this episode had its low points — notably a wasted opportunity featuring a surprise appearance by Robert De Niro and Sylvester Stallone, and a horribly miscalculated sketch involving a whistle — but all in all, this was a solid episode with a strong, funny host. Let’s not wait another 13 years before we bring Goodman back, Lorne Michaels. (And thank you for resisting doing the Chicago Bears fans bit — it must have been hard, but we’re grateful.)

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I know the fake sign language interpreter at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service is a Very Serious News Story, dealing with national security issues and mental health questions and the business of the South African government not taking the deaf community’s interests seriously, but tell me with a straight face that when you heard about this that you didn’t laugh. This story was an early Christmas present for comedians, and Saturday Night Live made the most of it with this cold open:

I know that Guy Fieri is an easy punchline — LOOK AT HIS HAIR. REALLY LOOK AT IT. But easy joke or not, this Guy Fieri Christmas Special sketch is perfection:

The existential dread that is the “Dance of the Snowflakes” is amazing. Camus would be proud:

Ugh. “The Three Wise Guys.” This could have been a pretty funny sketch had De Niro and Stallone read through it at least once before it was time to go live. IT’S CALLED REHEARSAL, STALLONE. YOU SHOULD GIVE IT A TRY SOMETIME, YOU GALOOT.

The thing about this Hallmark Christmas movie bit is that any of these could be actual Hallmark Christmas movies, for reals. “Phylicia Rashad’s Christmas Nap,” “Scrooge Jr.” starring Manny from Modern Family, and “My Neighbor’s a Magi” are all completely plausible Hallmark Christmas movies, and I’m not even kidding:

“Hey, SNL writers: I bet you can’t come up with a sketch that will make the entire viewing audience turn off their televisions at the same time.”

“CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.”

If you’ve never been to an H&M, this sketch aptly sums up the entire experience:

“Last Call” is a recurring bit that was first performed on Louis CK’s (brilliant) episode, and revisited with Vince Vaughn — which was a terrible mistake. Vince Vaughn is too handsome, too cocky to pull off playing a sad sack loser who would be desperate enough to hook up with Kate McKinnon’s Sheila Sovage. But John Goodman rocking a nasty beard? Perfect:

What did you think of last night’s Saturday Night Live? Were you so disappointed they didn’t do the Chicago Bears fans bit?