(The Narrator takes a can of beer from Mark Fowler. Since the Narrator cannot be seen by any of the characters on stage, Mark Fowler looks visibly confused).

NARRATOR

Excuse me. All this talking makes me thirsty. (He holds up the can to examine it). Drink. Alcohol. The most commonly abused drug in the world. Now we all know that there’s a knack to drinking. But unfortunately, we often get too drunk to remember what it is... What was I talking about?

Oh yes. Alcohol. Not everyone drinks alcohol at parties. Some people stick to coke all night. You can watch their teeth change from yellow to black. Dentists call it the ‘Pepsi Smile’. But we’ll ignore all those sober designated walkers for the moment and concentrate on the piss-heads. They’re more interesting... or do I mean boring?... depending on what kind of piss-head we’re dealing with.

(He approaches Drunk Boy and Best Mate). Take this one, for instance. He’s had... oh I’d say about four cans of lager on an empty stomach. Not used to it either. He’s with his best friend, his best mate, the sober one with the Pepsi smile here. And there’s nothing like being pissed to make you realize how important your friends are. He’s your best mate. Think of all the summers you’ve dossed through... a lifetime drooling at girls together. And you’re only fifteen. Let’s take a listen.

DRUNK BOY

I’m pissed.

BEST MATE

I know. Just go easy, will you?

DRUNK BOY

Bry. I’m pissed.

BEST MATE

I know. You said. Just go easy. Finish that one then stick to the coke.

DRUNK BOY

How long have we known each other, Bry?

BEST MATE

Forever. Four years. Look. Just sit down. I don’t want you falling over.

DRUNK BOY

Four years! Has it really been that long? You’re my friend, Bry. My best friend. I love you. In a plutonic way.

(Shaking himself free and swaying). I don’t want any fresh air. It stinks out there. And its cold. I want to dance. (To Sofa 1). Come on. Let’s dance. (He goes to grab her hand but she shakes him off. He falls to his knees).

SOFA 1

Get lost you creep.

DRUNK BOY

I’m not a creep.

SOFA 2

Yes you are.

DRUNK BOY

No I’m not. (To Sofa 2). Come on. You dance with me. A nice slow one.

SOFA 2

You must be joking.

DRUNK BOY

Why not?

SOFA 2

Because you’re a geek and you’re drunk.

DRUNK BOY

I’m not a geek. And so what if I’m pissed. Bry? Tell them that Winston Churchill thing.

BEST MATE

(Trying to coax Drunk Boy away). I don’t think they’re interested.

SOFA 2

What Winston Churchill thing?

BEST MATE

It doesn’t matter.

SOFA 1

No. Go on. What Winston Churchill thing.

DRUNK BOY

Go on, Bry. Tell them.

BEST MATE

Well Winston Churchill was drunk at this party and this woman said to him “Sir, you are drunk”. And he said “Yes, Madam. And you are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober”. (There is a deathly pause). You see, she’d still be ugly in the morning. (There is another deathly pause). I’ve just called you ugly, haven’t I?

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About Me

I am a fully qualified teacher of Drama, Media and Film Studies with ten years’ work experience in secondary and further education. I graduated from the Central School of Speech and Drama (one of the most respected Drama conservatoires in the world) with a first class Honours degree in Drama and Education and a PGCE.
I was a writer-in-residence and workshop leader for a Southend-based youth theatre for ten years, during which time I developed my creative writing skills to include playscripts, poetry and songs. With my deep interest in Film, I have now expanded these skills to include screenplays.
I now wish to take a sabbatical from teaching to focus on a proposal for a PhD thesis. This will involve developing new collaborative methodologies for intertextual musical theatre in the context of a resynthesis of art, philosophy and science.
My specific areas of interest and expertise are as follows: Academic, Acting, Analysis, Assessment, Auditions, Collaboration, Creative Thinking, Directing, Drama, Education, English, Film, History, Lecturing, Literature, Media, Poetry, Philosophy, Playscripts, Screenplays, Songs, Teaching, Television, Theatre, Tutoring, Workshops, Writing.

I’m writing a first draft for a musical. It's called Marty Gull (Marty[r] Gull[ible]). It's a surreal, satirical, tragicomic piece of musical political theatre: a cautionary tale of school politics, backstabbing egos and the state of the nation.

I’ve written the first draft libretto using a medley of melodies in my head from well-known musicals.

I would like to extend an open invitation to all budding musicians and composers to submit their own musical interpretations. I would also welcome interest from actors (age 20-25) who can sing and dance.

The plan is to develop a new collaborative form of musical theatre. Once we get a good working team of lyricists, composers, musicians, actors and designers together we can decide on the final evolution of the piece and arrange copyright accordingly. I would like to submit or even take the piece to Central as a work-in-progress.

Ultimately, I would be interested in using all of this as a springboard for a thesis on new art forms and musical theatre. But, most of all, I would love to have the opportunity of working with kind, creative and talented people.

If you like the sound of any of this, please post a comment at http://martygull.blogspot.com/or get in touch with me through one of the following methods: