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Month: March 2014

Life is always filled with magic’s and surprises as we used to read in fairy tales. Be it a positive or a negative turn, it takes us by surprise on every single turn. Life is relentlessly unpredictable.

There were times when people used to say some things to me like:

“Don’t you even know how to address someone in English? Shame on you being a Josephite”

“What are you reading? Study your academics. These fairy tales wouldn’t feed you in future”

“What are you scribbling all over your notebook? Do you really call them poems huh? What a waste of time. Do something worthy instead”

“Getting education in a convent is not just enough. You must learn to read, write and speak in English fluently. Hope your mother is wasting money on you”

“Hey, what do you know about a computer? Do not touch it. Just watch me work”

“Why the hell are you wasting money over such useless things? Who’s gonna see all these things you do? Just clear the room and don’t dare to spend money over such things again”

“Ahh… Don’t take your Digi cam. It irritates us to see you roll over the road clicking pictures random”

I was not an intelligent student during my school days and let’s say it even now. Being an average student in my academics, I have various other interests from my childhood such as reading, writing, crafting and photographing. But things just don’t go well with a girl growing from a small town where grades are the only identity of an individual during his/her school days. And obviously I was such a loser in boosting my identity among my society. Seeing my mother worried about my so-called identity aspect among the neighbors and relatives, I have to get back onto the track running for grades and on its way I was forced to leave behind my interests and passion.

As I have mentioned earlier, Life is always filled with magic’s and surprises and also life is unpredictable. I do realize it and am actually experiencing it for the past few years. After completing my MBA, I began working as a Content Writer which actually an unexpected career given by my organization with their confidence on my writing skills. That was when I discovered that I still have the ability to write and someone actually like what I write and thus started developing my interest in writing.

Being a Customer Relationship Coordinator as well, I had to speak with clients from domestic and international, which is where I found I don’t actually suck communicating in English.

I was also asked to write hundreds of business E-Mails for the same person who said me not to touch the computer as I was bullied of not knowing even how to switch on the monitor. And now, I have been asked for help with all kind of technological gadgets for them.

Seeing me do some good craft works even made my mother say that am not actually wasting money over those things.

And finally, I am being positively commented for my photographs by the same people and the best part is though am just a beginner in photography, there are people who ask me for suggestions and tips which leaves me bewildered.

As far as I am concerned, I might not be an expert on all the above things, but still am not a dumb-ass just like the others portrayed me on their minds earlier. I may not be successful in choosing a better career that offers me lakhs but still I love what am doing and I would continue learning and developing my interests into an enduring passion.

I simply think, my passion for these things make me feel lively and evident in this planet.

You could have guessed what this post is all about. Yes. It’s just 6 more days to go for me to turn 26years. So it’s a post for summarizing the whole 25 years of my life on this earth.

Just before few hours I received a text from a friend of mine telling me to treat him for I am going to celebrate the successful completion of my 25 years. Haha yeah I should actually do that by throwing a party but I don’t know what could I probably choose to tell as a reason for celebration.

Should I say that I have achieved something? Nah. That would be a big fat lie.
Or should I say that I have at least made something remarkable for someone to remember me? Hmm yeah maybe. But I bet that’s not gonna be in a positive way either.

So that is what hinders me from celebrating my birthdays be it 25th or whatever. But after thinking over these I started making a list of the have’s and have not’s of mine after all these successful 25years. Let me just list down those for you 🙂

HAVE’S:

1. I do have few people around me who I think really cares about me at least to say “I Love You” whether they really mean it or not.

2. I now have a life of my own to decide upon like how am going to live.

3. I have some courage to face the problems however tougher it maybe by still surviving.

4. I have a DSLR, which is keeping me feel lively with its help in making me take better pictures and to make people notice me.

5. I have a big deal of confidence that am not gonna die sooner leaving me no choice than to make my living with some career which I haven’t chosen yet.

6. I have few books which makes me think and make few changes to my thoughts about everything in and around me. I learn something from each book I read and the question is do I follow it. But for that I’ll have to write another post which can be done later 😉

7. I do have a passion for crafting and writing which is yet to be improvised a lot.

So as far my analysis I have o ly these 7 important things in my life. So let’s look for the have not’s.

HAVE NOT’S:

1. I don’t have my father with me which is my biggest loss of my life and am still working on it to set everything right without his help, but the truth hits hard sometimes by proving that I need help from my father. But lets never mind because that’s not gonna happen anyhow.

2. I don’t have a guide to lead me, which is why I go wrong making mistakes over and over all my life.

3. I don’t have a good rapport with the people who actually love’s me. Somehow I mess things up, though how hard I try to retain a relationship I end up breaking it myself. I sometimes prefer to be alone rather being with someone and ending up hurting them.

4. I don’t have the boldness to speak out what I think. It leaves me being a stupid all my life.

5. I don’t have the ability to take a decision that is supported by at least few. Or the ability to convince people to accept my decisions.

6. I don’t have an exact idea of how many people love’s me and how many don’t.

7. I don’t have a job or a clear career prospect as of now.

8. I don’t have any savings of my own. Though money and other materialistic things can be earned or not earned which doesn’t concerns me much, I still need to save a lot of money to fulfill my goal.

9. I don’t have a group of friends to hang out with or understanding relatives to share my thoughts with or spend some family time. I find everyone looking for something to get for themselves which makes me stay away from most of them.

10. I haven’t made my mother proud of me even once in her lifetime and instead I have let her down a lot.

11. I don’t have the confidence or positive attitude just like people refer to me as ‘a girl of negative thoughts’.

12. I don’t have a proper place to sit in silence for hours or cry out loud to vent out my feelings which makes me feel more stressed out.

13. Finally, I don’t have trust on people even if they are trying to be nice due to the insecured thoughts which doesn’t allow me to love people anymore the way I used to do in my early life. Just because of few bad experiences.

So the have not’s have exceeded the count of the have’s as usual 😉

But from this new year eve I have tried to make few changes to myself which may be seen by the next year. Until then let me not keep on speak over the have not’s in which few can be changed too 🙂

With this post what I meant to say is, I haven’t done anything to celebrate my silver jubilee for my birthday and it’s going to be just another passing day of my life.