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I’m Huge in Australia

This is true, after US Australians are the biggest readers of my Blog. I am guessing it’s my witty charm they appreciate, or it’s the pictures of cute girls? Not sure but I will take it. I love Australia and its people. I have always said if I were to live anywhere outside of US, it would be either Sydney or Salzburg (Big Sound of Music fan). I wouldn’t mind living in Switzerland either, but last time I checked I don’t poop cash!

This sentiment must have rang true with some of my friends, because during the past few years bunch of my close friends have moved and are very happy living there. I am very jealous of them. Australia is so cool. In no country in the world so many things can kill you. Australia is home to the world’s most dangerous crocodiles, deadliest sharks, deadliest jellyfish, deadliest octopus, deadliest snakes, deadliest spiders… the list goes on and on. In 1967, then Australian prime minister went for a swim and was killed by a shark. I don’t think it made the front news! Even the cute little platypus is venomous. Don’t believe me look it up.

Going to Australia was not my idea, it was Molly’s and I am very glad I listened. Molly made all the arrangements and we were scheduled to fly out there on September 13, 2001. Yes that flight did not happen. Everything had to be rearranged for the following month. People thought we were nuts for traveling so close after 9/11, but we didn’t see the big deal. Last I checked Ozzies likes us. Take that Osama! Out of all the things Australia had to offer I was particularly looking forward to two things. Seeing kangaroos and watching toilettes flush backward. Growing up, there was a myth that water flushed in a different direction in southern hemisphere. I wanted to prove this urban legend in person.

Now I don’t know about you, but I have been on some very long flights, but nothing compared to this flight. This flight was so long that the flight attendants would walk by every other hour or so to make sure no one had died from deep vain thrombosis. The ice cream and the movies were great though. After what seemed like a week we landed in Sydney, and before we even got to the immigration I ran into the first toilette I could find…..Damn low flow toilette!

Now in order to properly see Australia you need a few months there, we had only 14 days and we squeezed in as much as we could during that time. We climbed the Sydney Harbour Bridge, saw an opera at the famous opera house, saw the coolest animals, went to one of the oldest caves in the world, scuba dived the Great Barrier Reef, saw a village in the middle of rain forest, and yes saw Kangaroos. I have to say I did not have the greatest experience with the weird marsupial. I thought I was catching a tender moment of a mommy licking her joey on my video camera, but upon zooming in I realized that this was not a female kangaroo and it was not a “joey” he was licking. Disgusting animal! I got my revenge the next day and bought a genuine kangaroo leather wallet, which I still have.

I told Molly when we have kids we will bring them to this amazing continent and its people. It’s a promise I intend to keep. Speaking of which tonight one of my best friends who moved to Australia is visiting us. We are very much looking forward to seeing him after two years.