Dial J for Jesus

“Me writing poetry is like taking a dump. I don’t want to be anywhere near the product, but the process is okay.” -D

“AAAAAH! I forgot the oats! You got me talking about Jesus and I forgot the oats.” -D

SPINELESS
by Xavier Cugat

Dick Tater,
I have a confession for you
we go along with you because
we are afraid that you’ll
take our microwave oven away
When you said
“You are free to do what I say,”
we believed and followed because
you said it on TV, didn’t you?
I don’t trust my neighbor
she doesn’t like the TV
not like we do, anyway.
Let me hold onto my
cheap fruit
cheap gas
fruit gas
cheap cheap
And you can go along
bossing away

XAVIER CUGAT
by Dick Tater

Your artistic sense is,
shall I say
shallow in respect to the
requirements of the state.
Do you uplift the masses?
Have you sung my praises?
Did you paint a pretty picture of my horse?
What use do I have for a
peon like you?
I care for you and you
produce tripe.
A load of armed men with
homosexual mustaches
will pull into your barrio
they will be in a U. S. Army surplus
JEEP
Jeep will take you to police station where
They’ll electically engineer your anus
until you like it.
Then your pissant scratchings
won’t be
so
exciting.

“Thank you, shoe shine boy. You are both kind and gentle.” -Guy in Denny’s, quoting something. (If you have information about what Denny’s guy might have been quoting, please, please contact us at once.)