Spring is in the air, and the beach body countdowns are on. Whether you are a seasonal gym rat or a year-long health fanatic, we’ve compiled a list of things that need to find their way into your gym bag.

After working out, your skin can be red, inflamed, and overheated. It’s important to gently remove sweat and oil without stripping or irritating the skin. Cleanse is a gentle but effective way to get rid of sweat, oil, pollutants, sunscreen residue, chlorine, and other impurities without altering the skin’s pH. The ingredients consist of an all-star lineup: water, aloe, cucumber, and chamomile. Also, the cotton blend cloth glides easily over any stubble or facial hair without leaving particles behind. Each towelette is individually packaged so you can take one, or a few, anywhere.

Your body can take up to an hour to cool down after a workout, and any creams can make you sweat more. Use this facial mist instead to soothe and hydrate. It also helps to fight free radicals while it calms and will help in preventing future flare-ups.

Two of the best things in life are thick thighs and apple pies. But alas, they are also two of my main reasons for gyming. Chaffing is my least favorite part of working out. Balla Body Powder is a game changer. You can use this aluminum free powder anywhere you feel a rub or heat. Great for your boys, taint, crack, back, armpits, and feet — basically anything that rubs or sweats. Balla is available in three different formulas: regular, fragrance-free, and for those of you who like to feel the wind on your balls, tingle.

Gym shoes receive regular abuse and very little maintenance. Socks will help to soak up some sweat and odor, but chances are your shoes will still be a little damp after a great workout. Remodeez uses charcoal derived from coconut husks to eliminate order instead of harsh chemicals that only mask it. After a workout, slip these moldable pads into your shoes, and you won’t have to worry about stinking up your locker or gym bag.

This non-toxic spray adds scent while eliminating odor. Spray one spritz per garment and throw them back into your gym bag. The scent is clean and addictive: leafy greens, sweet oranges, eucalyptus, and jasmine. This spray also has antibacterial properties to kill off any unwanted bacteria. The four-ounce version fits easily into your gym bag without weighing it down.

I say that before getting into the do’s and don’ts of whether or not to send a nude to someone you’re chatting with because, above all else, whatever you send will officially be around for all of eternity.

Of course, we now have a First Lady of the United States who posed nude, so perhaps the rules are changing. But if you have any concerns about a pic coming back to haunt you, don’t send it. Hell, don’t even take it. Forget about your face being in it — people’s nudes have been called out by birthmarks, tattoos, and even one of a kind throw pillows.

So now that we have that out of the way, here are the rules of when to send a nude pic and when to just stick to a smiling pic. Of course, when a convo is getting heated, and you wanna seal the deal, you’re going to be tempted to send that X-rated pic. But how do you know when the time is right?

HE ASKS — This seems rather obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people say “hi” and send a pic of their hole like it’s a handshake. News flash — not everyone wants to see your hole. Or your dick. A lot of people, in fact, want to see your face, chat for a bit, and then decide if they’d like to meet up in person and see more. But if you’re looking for sex or X-rated chat, and he wants to play ball and see what you’ve got, well — let the nude pics fly.

HE UNLOCKS FIRST — Chances are, if he sends you a pic of his dick, he’s not looking for a pic of your dog in return. Sure, you can send a pic of you and Benji at the dog park, but assuming you like what you see — and you’re the type to send nudes — you’d better send it along with something decidedly more adult.

HE’S LOOKING FOR FUN — i.e. his bio doesn’t read “no nudes.” If you send nudes to someone who says no nudes, you deserve whatever’s coming to you. But if he says he’s looking to get naked and bang, and you’ve got some naked pics you like to send, get your pics ready and have at it.

YOU’RE ON VACATION — This might feel like a bit of an odd tip, but you know the phrase, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?” Well, what happens in a city you probably don’t plan to visit again, for the most part, stays in the city you don’t plan to visit again. So, if you feel like getting a bit dirtier than usual when you’re away from home, send whatever the hell pics you feel like. You don’t need to see this guy again, and even if he blocks you, who cares — you’re on the next plane out. He might just send them back — and then you have a whole new, glorious dick to add to the collection.

YOU LEGIT DGAF — And frankly, this is the most compelling reason for you to send nude pics. Because you’re on an app for adults. It’s not like they don’t know what they’re getting themselves into. And if you don’t care and you’re proud of your pics, hell — show the world. Society is too uptight anyway. If he doesn’t like your dick, fuck him — or, in this case, don’t and just send your pic along to the next guy.

Your precious little pooch is likely one of your best friends. You lounge together, take long walks together, and on lazy weekends, neither of you bathe. Like every healthy friendship, your canine partnership comes with its fair share of envy. You stared with envy at your pup while it licked its genitals with ease. Your dog saw bitter green when you ate those two large pizzas by yourself and then shoved the empty boxes into a neighbor’s trash can to hide your shame. However, not many guys know that Fido can also be the best wingman. Gays generally don’t care about things like babies, but they do love a friendly doggy.

Here’s how to use man’s best friend to get a man:

1. Send Those Pics – When chatting with a guy online, and he asks for more photos, make sure that you send one of you and your dog. Doggy couch pics can be cute, but they are often signs of a recluse. The photo should be of you and your pooch on a grassy field or strolling down a city street, so your potential mate doesn’t realize what a hermit you really are.

2. Walk That Dog – Find the gayest part of the gayest part of your city, and walk your dog there. Make sure there are plenty of guys around at the time and not on a random Tuesday afternoon. If you’re confident enough, remove your shirt and shove it into a back pocket. Now strut! Strut as though your love life depended on it!

3. Pup Your Wallpaper – Say you meet a cute guy and want to show him pictures from your latest vacation to a fabulous resort in a third world country. You lean in to display your photo album, but the first thing he sees is a lock screen with your adorable doggy. He’ll be so flustered by your panting pup that he couldn’t possibly pass up an invite back to your place!

4. Hit Up a Dog Beach – Whether you love hot sand and salty water or hate them with a fiery passion, a dog beach is the best place for scouting a canine-loving man. Sashay in your Speedo down the seashore and delicately lay down your free towel that came with a $50 or more purchase of Guess jeans. Sit down and scan the shoreline for hotties. When you spot one, unleash your pup to play with his dog. In just a few minutes, you might have a new play pal, too.

Now that you have the dog and the knowledge to make him or her your wingman, put your skills to the test. Any dog will do from beefy Rottweilers to tiny, shivering Chihuahuas with alopecia. The only thing you’ll need is confidence that these plans work—and they do. Just remember, if the guy isn’t into your pup, he’s not the man for you.

Maybe you’re new to online apps, or maybe you haven’t gotten around to uploading a profile pic yet, but people are visual…and if the image you’re giving them is a blank screen, chances are you won’t get much traction. If it’s just a torso, and you never plan on sharing anything above the neck, well — you might get some initial love (especially if you’re rocking an eight-pack), but we have fitness mags and porn for that.

There can be a variety of reasons you might not use a face pic — closeted, not in a safe community, or you don’t want friends/significant others/co-workers to see you online. All of them are valid, and if safety is a concern, by all means, keep that profile pic to yourself.

But if your goal when chatting on Grindr is to meet other people, without a profile pic — or at least without being willing to send a pic if someone asks — you’re sending some not-so-positive messages about yourself.

You’re difficult.

Think about it. You say you want to meet new people; you just don’t want them to be able to pick you out in a crowd. So, unless you’re trying to set up some anon thing (and more power to you if you are), why would anyone choose to meet up with you — the guy who refuses to reveal himself and sends countless messages trying to explain why — over the person who sends 15 pics without having to be asked?

You’re insecure.

A lot of us are. But life is full of fear…and people who never face their fear, never go anywhere. If you’re withholding face pics or a link to Instagram just because you’re insecure about what you look like, prepare for the responses to be a lot of “blocks” and “ignores.” Instead, have a friend who knows you, and who you’re comfortable with, take some pics of you until you find a few you’re happy with. Swap them out every few days until you start getting the response you want.

Your torso is your best feature.

This may be true, and more power to you if you have a particularly slammin’ body, but torsos spend a good amount of time covered up no matter how many boot camps and beach days you have. The rest of the time, that thing poking out of your shirt is called a head. And people like to see those. If all you’re willing to give up is neck-down shots, people are going to draw their own conclusions about your face…and what they picture might be far worse than the actual package.

You’re afraid of dating sites.

It’s 2017 — get over it. Anyone who says he has never tried a dating app, a hookup site, or social media to make friends is probably lying or over 65. Sure, people meet in bars or at sporting events, but people also meet on apps. If you’re really letting your fear of being discovered on Grindr keep you from posting a profile pic, then you might as well also avoid venturing out your front door in the morning too.

You’re not interested in meeting.

This is fine if you’re content being one of those people who only chats and never wants to take it further. Maybe you’ll have some fun with some like-minded people…but most people with pics are looking to meet other people with pics, and they aren’t wasting their time trying to meet up with people who don’t have pics. To review. Pics = let’s meet. No pics = don’t message me again until you have one.

You’re a liar.

This one is pretty straight forward. If someone hits me up to chat but refuses to send a pic, I assume he’s either trying to catfish me, cheat on someone, lie about his stats, or attempt to lure me into a dangerous situation. If you can see my pic, I should be able to see yours. And if you don’t want to trade, that’s fine…but don’t expect me to believe another thing out of your mouth.

We’re going to talk about something you all either do in secret for your sexy reveal or have no clue about.

Manscaping is defined as the grooming, shaving, waxing, or trimming of body hair for cosmetic effect, and let me tell you, this can be a pretty ‘hairy’ topic (too punny?). Some people think that being the way you were born is the way to go, and some people, frankly, are too lazy to give a sh*t. Ultimately, you should have a natural look while not looking like you’ve become a feral creature.

Let’s get to it. But before you start, make sure you’re equipped with the proper gardening tools. You’ll need:

A pair of trimming scissors that are small and not for arts and crafts. You can’t use a pair that you use anywhere else in the house…come on.

A beard trimmer that has different lengths so we can trim your beard and other parts of your body.

A clean razor (if applicable to your look).

Moisturizer.

And, most importantly, a good waxing salon if you want to cut the BS.

Face

Your face can say a lot upon first glance, and the most important message to send to anyone looking is that you are a clean and considerate individual. Whether you keep a bit of stubble or a Lord of the Rings style beard, it’s important to ensure it’s trimmed and moisturized. Nothing is worse than a dry beard that looks like you’ve been shipwrecked for years.

Use a beard trimmer every couple to days to keep all the hairs at the same length. Having strays and varying lengths makes you look tired and unkempt.

Back/Shoulders

Back hair is considered very unattractive. It can make you think of a greasy fat man, in tight shorts, exiting a hot tub at a public swimming pool with his back hair matted to his wet back (too much?). So, book an appointment at your local waxing salon. There’s no point being on the fence, and the pain is worth the look. If you decide to shave your back, the stubble will be very prickly. Meaning, what you gain in look, you lose in feeling and comfort. JUST GET RID OF IT.

Arms/Armpits

A hairy arm is attractive. It gives off a sexy, hard-working lumberjack vibe (and that’s the kind of guy you want to marry, or at least see a couple of nights a week). However, be mindful of the back of the biceps. That is a vastly overlooked area, and no one wants long stray hairs there. If you don’t want to wax it, at least use your beard trimmer to shorten the length, so it doesn’t look like your hairs are trying to reach out and grab people.

On a personal note: Armpits are, by far, my biggest ‘pit’ peeve. I find it distracting when someone wears a muscle shirt/vest, and their armpit hair is poking out from under their arm. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t think you should get rid of it completely. I mean, it’s good for sweat absorption, and it’s sexy, but it definitely needs to be trimmed to an appropriate length. It’s easy to do, especially when you are trimming your beard.

Down Below

This is the main event for most manscapers, but the question is: What should you do? Are you going for: a naked elephant trunk, a lion mane, or perhaps a cute porcupine that means no harm? Either way, the most common mistake for a lot of men is that they go straight in with a trimmer. It actually ruins your trimmer and can cause unnecessary ingrown hairs. Try trimming with scissors until you are close to your desired length, then fine prune with the trimmer. You should go for a natural length, whether that be an inch or less, and make sure it’s even all the way around. There is nothing worse than when the person you are intimate with takes a moment to pull out a long pube from their mouth.

Booty

The butt is an interesting area. Some guys really dig a hairy behind. I think the re-growth is more unattractive than someone who just trims the overall area. I would recommend just using a beard trimmer and lightly trimming on a medium/long length. If you don’t believe me, believe this…it makes you look a lot skinnier.

Additional Areas

We’ve covered some of the larger areas, but be sure not to forget these nooks and crannies:

Nose

Outer ear and inner ear

Knuckles

Toes

Finally, don’t go using wax strips all over the body, but definitely respect yourself enough to look handsome and, most importantly, groomed.

I’ve recently realized that I overly explain my choices to my friends. Like why I don’t want to see a movie or why I was performing a semi-nude interpretive dance to Tori Amos in my office. I go into exhausting detail about my reasons, when really, my decisions are no one’s business but my own. Deep down, I know my friends are just looking out for me—as I do for them—especially when it comes to more serious matters, like dating.

In the past, a few friends chose to see someone in secret. They’d go out of their way to keep their newfound relationship deep in a sealed-off cave until the perfect time to reveal. More times than not, I’d figure it out after a week, but would still act surprised when finally told. “My goodness!” I gasped. “You’re dating that mildly attractive grocery store security guard we always see when we’re drunk?”

Conversely, a newly single friend of mine recently asked for dating help. The last few guys have been, well, not that great. So, now I’m on a virtual board of judges, like a gayer version of X-Factor or The Voice. My friend sends us—the judges—the guy’s headshot, age, job, and a brief description of how they met. After the first date, we ask a series of deeply personal questions about his love interest and then give a thumbs up or down for a second outing. We’re all aware that this isn’t normal nor necessarily healthy, but we can’t afford him dating another asshole.

Still, I wonder, is it important that others approve of who we see? Some of my friends have been around for twenty years. We’ve been through everything from playground squabbles to coming out. Why wouldn’t I want their input?

I’ve been on both sides of this question. Whether my friends haven’t liked my beau—or vice versa—I wonder if there’s a point in giving my two cents. Of course, if my friend is in a dangerous position with his lover, it’s important to speak my mind. However, if I just don’t like how loudly his boyfriend chews or the way he pronounces “February”—these are merely my issues.

When my best friend met my now fiancé, I was a little nervous. If they didn’t like one another, I’d have to deal with that friction for the rest of my life. They first met during a visit to New York and got along instantly. After just a few hours, my friend mouthed, “I like him!” Even as I responded with a “duh,” a weight lifted off of my shoulders.

Maybe it is pessimistic of me, but I no longer expect to like my friends’ future partners. Perhaps it’s because I hold the people closest to me at a very high level and it’s nearly impossible for anyone they date to reach that peak. I know that with time, anything is possible—but I’m only saying that because I like all of my friends’ current boyfriends.

As a Brooklyn resident, I can tell you that using deodorant is a personal preference. However, surveys say that 86% of American men use deodorant regularly, myself included. Somewhere around puberty, my mom made a comment about my armpits smelling like a sandwich, and I’ve been using it daily ever since.

Picking out deodorant can be overwhelming. Axe has such funny commercials, Old Spice looks so tropical, and this one smells like an avalanche blast! The truth is there should be a lot more that goes into selecting your daily pit shield than what you see on the outside.

Most people interchange the words deodorant and antiperspirant, but they are quite different. Deodorants allow you to sweat while neutralizing odor, where antiperspirants only prevent sweat. While more research still needs to be done, certain ingredients found in deodorant are known carcinogens and have been potentially linked to cancers, Alzheimer’s disease, and kidney disorders. The main thing to avoid is aluminum. Aluminum alters the body’s pH and stops the production of sweat. If aluminum is absorbed into the skin, it can enter the kidneys, lungs, and liver. Other things to eliminate if you are trying to be ingredient conscious include: penetration enhancer (this may sound like exactly what you’ve been looking for, but it’s actually what helps the aluminum and other toxins absorb into the skin,) synthetic fragrance, triclosan, talc powder, and BTH.

Now that you know what you’re dealing with, here are three aluminum-free and non-toxic deodorants that you and the environment will love.

This little stick of sunshine was the hands down winner. The smell is bright and fresh and keeps you feeling the same for hours. The Kaolin clay controls sweat, the aloe soothes, and the hops (yep, the same that go into beer) help to combat odor. The ingredients are cruelty-free, sourced from sustainable family-owned growers, and don’t include petrochemicals, sulfates, silicones, or PEGs.

He’s a pricey date, but he delivers the goods! Aesop uses 11 essential oils to combat underarm stench. This spray takes a little getting used to, but the vetiver smell is intoxicating. The first spray feels hot, but within seconds it goes away. This is a great middle-of-summer tank top option, and it lets a bit of your natural odor come through.

This one calls for an open mind. It is a hipster hippy extravaganza. It’s a paste, so you have to stick your fingers in it and slather it on. The smells are really great: Orange Creamsicle, Thyme and Lemongrass, Primal Spice, Royal and Rouge, and more. The deodorant also comes in light, regular, and heavy, depending on your stench flows. The main ingredient is baking soda, accompanied with coconut oil and baking powder. Pit Paste also make a pit primer oil to help transition you through the detox.

I find it bizarre how often gay men love to remind me how young I am. They provide unsolicited advice, telling me that at the ripe, young age of 25, there’s no way in hell I could possibly have any idea what I want out of my relationships. Then they end the conversation — the one I neither started nor wanted to have — by telling me one of two things:

1. When I’m older, I’ll find the right man and settle down into a boring marriage, reminiscent of a traditional heteronormative relationship.

2. I should revel in the excitement now while I’m young, naive, and still have my looks because when I get older, I’ll become a jaded, single gay man. As you can probably guess, these men assume that what happened to them is inevitably going to happen to me.

I don’t think it’s naive of me to believe that I won’t grow into one of those “old” bitter queens who’ve resigned to the fact that they’re never going to find Mr. Right. (I put “old” in quotes because these men are only 32 and have already given up on finding love.)

I think I’ll always be enthusiastic and eager about the prospect of meeting new guys. That’s just the type of person I am. I’m naturally excitable, and people from all different walks of life fascinate me. And let me clarify, yes, I’m still excitable after having been ghosted, heartbroken, and rejected in brutal ways by guys I’ve really fancied.

I also will be very surprised if I end up in a traditional marriage. I’m not opposed to it, but I also just ended the best relationship I’ve ever been in. It was a polyamorous relationship, and we dated for 15 months. For much of it, I lived with my boyfriend and his wife. After being infinitely more content being in an ethical, non-monogamous relationship, I doubt that I’ll ever want to go back to an anxiety-provoking monogamous relationship.

But more than all that, I crave novelty and excitement in my life more than I crave stability. When I say this to older gay men, I see an immediate switch in how they respond. They smirk, and nod their heads as if all-knowing, and say in a pedantic tone, “Yeah. That’s something you’ll grow out of.”

Immediately, I slouch and feel like a toddler. I then fear I’m going to grow up to become one of those older gay guys who “Peter Pan.” The guys who refuse to grow up emotionally, still engaging in a ton of sex, drugs, and partying; they always seem incapable of having a boyfriend for longer than three months. Hey, I’m not going into relationships saying I’m looking to settle down and fall in love. I let people know that at this point in time, I’m my first priority, and if I’m to date someone, I expect him to be his own first priority as well.

Additionally, after listening to gobs of Dan Savage’s podcast Savage Love, I truly believe that longevity does not define relationship success. Take my boyfriend and I who recently broke up. We only lasted a little over a year, but this was a fabulous relationship, one I look back on fondly. I grew as a person, learned new things about myself, and we are still, despite breaking up, great friends. I know that we’ll be close friends until the day we die. That’s success right there. If I spend the rest of my life in relationships like these — ones that last a year or two and then we both decide to move on — I’ll be a happy man. I consider that a huge success both personally and relationally. I wouldn’t consider that Peter Panning or acting naive and immature, simply because I never “settled down.”

Who knows what the future holds? Maybe all these gay men are right. I’ll hit my mid 30’s and suddenly, the idea of a more traditional relationship, one that offers support, will become more appealing. I don’t think so, but hey, I’m open to it.

But in the meantime, I’m not going to let any other person influence how I think of myself. Because at the end of the day, they don’t know me better than I know myself. What I want right now may change, or it may not. Regardless, I know that there’s absolutely nothing immature about knowing what I want and being upfront about my intentions with the guys I’m dating. If anything, it makes me more mature to recognize that I want a man who’s my partner in crime — the Bonnie to my Clyde — not the Adam to my Steve.

Going to the gym isn’t just for shedding a few pounds and toning those ass cheeks anymore. And honestly, we can’t be out there wearing the same outfit as the next guy; or if you are, you need to look sexy as hell. So sexy in fact, that he’s back in the changing room refreshing his Grindr so hard that his thumbs ache. I mean, that’s the goal, yeah?

As much as I love short shorts, that can’t be the extent of it. There has to be a whole outfit prepared. Here are some hand-picked pieces for that look that will not only get you feeling sexy but will make those guys know why you’re up in the gym working on your fitness.

These boys are absolutely imperative. No one is going to find those three-quarters quite as sexy unless they are see-through. Also, remember to make sure you’re wearing underwear, or at least a jock, or you’ll be flashing your business.

These will give the impression that you are so ready to lift a 50-pound barbell that you could do it with your eyes closed. When you’re huffing and puffing away, you are going to have a face no one wants to get with. But when the same guy sees you in the showers, looking all sexy afterward, he’ll remember you lifting that barbell and wonder what else you can handle.

About six years ago, Jordan arrived early for his date with Michael at a little dive bar on Chicago’s north side. The two had exchanged a few messages through Grindr, and Jordan, 24 at the time, didn’t expect much.

In the bar, they chatted about life; Michael talked about his grandma and his time as a graduate student in Women’s and Gender Studies. About 15 minutes into the date, Jordan said he sent his friend a simple text: “husband.”

“I was very into him,” said Jordan, “and three and a half years later we got married.”

Big cities like Chicago are densely populated with gay men and queer people in general. This hadn’t been the case for Jordan, who grew up in a smaller city where guys would show up 30 or 40 miles away from him. That’s just not the way it is in Chicago — it gets maxed out at about a mile.

“A lot of people know each other,” he said, “and that’s because they use those location apps to find friends, dates, hookups, or whatever they’re looking for.”

Jordan said he and Michael moved in together “pretty much right away,” and started to plan their wedding about two years later. They set the date for 2014, the year Illinois passed marriage equality. Then, a couple of months before their wedding, the Supreme Court ruled for marriage equality for the whole country.

Both of their families were excited and wanted to participate. They ended up having, Jordan said, about 163 wedding guests, which included Jordan’s young nieces and nephews. He said it was important for him to have the kids there because he didn’t necessarily know any queer men when he was their age.

“Only a handful of people there had been to a gay or queer wedding before,” Jordan said. “I think there’s something special about queer love, and there was a lot of emotion in the room.”

Jordan said he initially felt weird that his family might find out he met Michael on a location-based hookup app. It wasn’t the romantic, meet-cute he’d imagined.

But now, as online dating has become more accepted, and Tinder is a thing for straight people, Jordan said, “it should be more normalized because it is normal.”

“Realistically, that’s how most people meet these days,” he said, “and you still have to meet up with them in real life.”

In the nearly three years he’s been married, Jordan said he has felt a greater sense of security. He doesn’t have to wonder where things are going in his relationship. Jordan explains that he and Michael continue to negotiate their relationship, but in a much different way.

Jordan argued that apps get a lot of flak for being used for hookups, but they also provide opportunities to connect with people.

“I can’t imagine having missed out on the opportunity of having met Michael,” Jordan said.

Grindr Life is a series highlighting the weird, wild, or simply sweet experiences users around the world have from getting on the grid. Got a story you want to tell us? Drop us a line at [email protected].