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What's it all about?

Fast approaching 30 I've fallen in to teaching, a career though championed by many amongst my friends and family, I've tried desperately to avoid. Worse still I appear to have missed the heyday when students were keen and wages were plenty. Having left city-life behind to support my partner through a prolonged recovery from cancer, it's clear I've become isolated, not only from my old life, but from the future I hoped it would lead to...

There must be more to life than this..?

Friday, December 31, 2010

So here I am, an hour from 2011 with my 30th birthday growing increasingly closer. Like many at this time of year I'm one of those who falls to the temptations of uttering that overly used, cliched phrase 'it's such an anticlimax'. I've never enjoyed New Year's Eve, probably because as a child post-christmas always meant one would have to wait a further twelve months for more presents, not to mention that it always signified the impending return to school after the holidays.

Aside from the childhood scarring I guess there's a lot of pressure to have an amazing celebratory night wherever you are, generally it's all a little too contrived for me. So instead I'll be staying in with a bottle of vodka, some champagne, my partner and our cats... (Did I say I was about to hit 30 or 50..?)

Anyway, here's to a whole new year of life affirming discoveries! Happy New Year All!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Five months before my 30th Birthday and I'm increasingly aware I've achieved nothing with my life. I'd like to say 'it's suddenly dawned on me' but the truth is, like an insect before it hits the windscreen of your car, I saw this coming. Perhaps the glass of this paticular trap was quite well polished, but that thought holds little to no comfort for me.

Now look, I know some of you may read this and think 'really? You're going to moan about hitting thirty?' and that's fine. But you'd have to be dead not to realise that society as a whole tends to see this as a landmark, a sort of milestone where you pull out that list of youthful hopes and dreams, set it alight and begin to settle down in to a more, sensible, grown-up way of living.

I feel like McMurphy in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, except to be honest, I don't think I posess his virtues of chivalry. Sod the rest of you! I want to escape and go fishing alone!

So with the New Year fast approaching, I shan't patronise anyone, including myself, by attempting to set tedious targets which I'll inevitably fail to reach. Instead I'm heading out on a quest to discover what more life has to offer, after all, how long can it be before those surgery doors open and my ticket number is called to recieve the lobotomy that is a life in beige..?