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When it comes to the crunch, I won’t be downsizing

It's said British hotels will benefit from people credit-crunched into not going abroad. On the other hand the corporate entertainment side that kept many country hotels going is subsiding. Why should I care? I don't own a hotel. Nor do I plan any downsizing.

The only shares I possess cost £25,000 many years ago. They were recommended by a blonde ex-girlfriend of the actor Terence Stamp. Anyone who takes share tips from Terence Stamp's ex-girlfriends deserves all they don't get.

My shares, in Xaar, a printing business, cost £4 each. They promptly collapsed. Now they're 57p. Not serious, as long as my Guernsey rollover fund holds up. If it goes under, Geraldine says I can be a stand-up comic and a taxi driver. Dream on.

Now to Rampsbeck Country House hotel, on Ullswater in Cumbria. It's a modest-priced place. If you want to go there, or anywhere, or buy anything,