If there's one thing he's taught us from all his Top Chef judging it's that to truly satisfy the most sophisticated palates you must add bacon. If you refuse for whatever pretentious, cardiovascular-aware reason to serve Chef Tom his daily something covered in bacon, you must pack up your knives and go.

Today__Show weatherman, known for his birthday wishes sponsored by Smucker's; original Ronald McDonald.

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David Simon

As the creator of show-of-the-decade The Wire and new series Treme, was named a 2010 MacArthur Fellow; who says television can't be genius?

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Homer Simpson

Nuclear safety technician, astronaut, record producer, paramedic, big-rig trucker, etc. Self-conscious about his 'do: "I hope they don't reveal that this is a comb-over!"

Photo: Courtesy Fox

Kelly Slater

The most famous and successful pro surfer of all time, but winning nine world titles pales next to ten guest spots on Baywatch.

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Jason Alexander

Found fame and fortune as George Costanza, not so much as Bob Patterson.

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Jeff Bezos

Thank him for being able to purchase the complete works of J.R.R. Tolkien in the privacy of your own home.

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David Geffen

It was recently revealed that the Hollywood mega-mogul is the target of Carly Simon's "You're So Vain." Not Mick. Not Warren. It was the little, bald, apricot-scarf-wearing David.

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Barry Diller

If it's on the internet and it's not porn, it's Barry Diller's.

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Steve Ballmer

In 1980 he made the wise decision to join the 23-person staff of a start-up called Microsoft. He now has $11 billion. Good move, Steve.

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James Jannard

Every person who has ever been on a bicycle has bought a pair of his Oakley sunglasses.

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Chris Daughtry

Leader of Daughtry, a reasonably serious rock band led by an American Idol finalist.

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Howie Mandel

Former TV washout/germophobe built empire with suitcase-wielding Deal or No Deal bimbos; bigger than Brian Williams on NBC pecking order.

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Jeffrey Katzenberg

Responsible for delighting several generations of children and stay-at-home parents with films like The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, and Shrek; grossly overestimated human capacity to tolerate Sinbad with Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas.

Photo: AP

Craig Venter

In 2000, Venter and his colleagues mapped the human genome, taking humanity one giant leap closer to Gattaca.

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Dick Cheney

We once saw Dick Cheney get into a car outside the Capitol Building. As it sped off, everything withered its wake—shrubbery, flowerbeds, everything. Like a Prius commercial in reverse. Also it was a dream. But it could have happened. And it probably has. This is not a political opinion but a widely-held scientific hypothesis.

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Lloyd Blankfein

Weathered the financial crisis as CEO of Goldman Sachs, protecting his banker's bonuses no matter how many private jets he had to take to Washington to convince Congress to float him the money.

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Stephen Breyer

Best smile on the bench.

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Andre Agassi

His killer backhand, unorthodox not-your-grandfather's-country-club style, raging temper, and marriage to Brooke Shields made him tennis's first rock star.

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Stanley Tucci

After (brilliantly) paying his dues on the New York independent film scene for decades, he's enjoying middle age as a bona-fide Hollywood player and frequent costar of Meryl Streep.

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Matthew Weiner

The name "Matthew Weiner" can swiftly cause ecutives at HBO and Showtime to bang their heads against the wall in self-flagellating regret at having passed over Mad Men, which has singlehandedly revived AMC and actresses who eat.

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The Dalai Lama

His Holiness has imparted wisdom and guidance to millions of faithful devotees and Richard Gere.

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Craig Newmark

His Craigslist provides a means to sublet an apartment, furnish it, and populate it with roommates. Bonus: missed connections with psychotics, on late-night subway rides

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Ben Bernanke

Though the beleaguered, long-suffering chairman of the Federal Reserve was voted TIME's Person of the Year in 2009, his career reached its true apotheosis last December when GQ called him "The Man who Saved America."

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Bruce Willis

He wrote the book on virile baldness.

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John McCain

If nothing else, John McCain knows how to pick a woman. For his first political move, he traded up to Cindy who bankrolled his career. And for what will likely be his last political move, he chose Sarah, who sunk it.

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Danny DeVito

World's largest pumpkin, he belongs in the near-empty category of people who star on the funniest TV show of today (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) and also the funniest TV show of 40 years ago (Taxi).

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Sam Zell

Brilliant business magnate, selling his commercial real estate trust to the tune of $39 billion. Less brilliant media mogul, running the Tribune Company into the ground and drawing comparisons to James McNamara, 1910 bomber of Los Angeles Times building. Still owns Chicago Cubs...for now.

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Richard Jenkins

He proved you don't have to be George Clooney, or a be-knighted Shakespearean Ac-TOR to be nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actor.

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Seal

English R&B singer known for hit single "Kiss from a Rose," and for being married to Heidi Klum by way of some tear in space-time continuum.

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James Taylor

Time, generally speaking, is not kind to rock stars who did a lot of heroin in the 60s. Mudslide Slim, however, looks less like a haggard former rocker and more like somebody's dad—bald, with big old glasses and an L.L. Bean fleece vest.

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Ving Rhames

Which of the following is not a Ving Rhames movie? Death Race: Frankenstein Lives,__The Wrath of Cain, Evil Angel, Phantom Punch, Day of the Dead, Shooting Gallery. If you guessed anything, you're wrong. Every preposterously sinister one of them is a Ving Rhames movie. Because he is the best at being terrifying.

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Todd Greene

Inventor of GQ-endorsed Headblade, which sits in MoMA's permanent collection.

Chairman of Fed under Carter and Reagan; argued for regulation of banking system while everyone smiled and nodded; received vindication with overdue proposal of "Volcker Rule;" object of Wall Street wrath.

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Tony Dungy

Former NFL defensive back and first African-American coach to win a Super Bowl; prefers God to football.

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Kevin Youkilis

Hailed by Moneyball as "The Greek God of Walks;" favorite son of Red Sox Nation.

Best known for playing two cops: a nice gentleone on The Commish, a tough crooked one on The Shield.

Photo: Courtesy FX

Jeff Van Gundy

Former Knicks coach best remembered for clinging to Alonzo Mourning's leg as he pummeled Larry Johnson on court.

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Matt Hasselbeck

QB for Seattle Seahawks; "We want the ball and we're going to score," right before his game-killing overtime interception in the 2005 playoffs.

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Michael Pollan

Science journalist whose writing on food and agriculture has made him a hero to yuppies nationwide.

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Moby

Former Dungeons and Dragons enthusiast and punk rock Marxist, found fame as a geek techno-artist; has a passion for both LSD and the teachings of Christ.

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Brad Childress

Coach of Minnesota Vikings. Would lose more hair over Brett Favre's offseason press conferences if he could.

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Mark Messier

Canadian hockey star, led teams to six Stanley Cups; awarded very Canadian nickname "The Moose."

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DMX

One of nineties' hip-hop artists with more arrests than albums (including a 90-day stint for torturing dogs); recently vowed to join the ministry then changed mind.

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Cal Ripken

Baseball Hall of Famer who broke Lou Gherig's record for most consecutive games played; known by nickname "Iron Man" for playing through head injuries and never missing a day of work, not because he was an armored superhero who fought communism.

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Stephen Covey

Practicing Mormon and Harvard MBA, built self-help empire with The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People; added 8th habit when realized he wanted more money.

Photo: AP

G. Gordon Liddy

Covert Agent who masterminded the Watergate break-in; cites Hitler as first political role model. Yeah.

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Vernon Jordan

Clinton confidant who was denied $300 grand in legal fees for advisory role in Monicagate. Made it back by sitting on the boards of American Express, J.C. Penney, rox, Dow Jones...

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Damon Wayans

Former SNL player who was fired for playing a role "too gay"; modern Cosby on ABC boilerplate family sitcom My Wife and Kids.

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Ed Harris

Break out role as astronaut John Glenn in The Right Stuff; generally plays either conniving bad guys or outrageous historical figures

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Jeffrey Tambor

Lapsed Scientologist known for outrageous characters in mock-reality shows Arrested Development and The Larry Sanders Show; appearance highly altered by presence or absence of mustache.

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J.K. Simmons

Perfected role of skeptical-yet-sympathetic shrink on national pastime Law & Order; plays hard-nosed guy in all Jason Bateman movies.

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Robert Duvall

The Forrest Gump of defining moments in American cinema, he's uncannily appeared in virtually every iconic film of the past five decades from To Kill a Mockingbird to _MASH, to The Godfather, to Network, to Apocalypse Now, to Sling Blade, to Crazy Heart_.

The Most Powerful Bald Men in America

Behold the Shiny Brilliance of GQ's 2010 Bald 100!—Our highly scientific ranking of the one hundred most powerful, influential and just plain bad-ass looking bald men in the USA. These are the men who put the balls in bald, and we salute you