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The One Thing Happy Couples Always Do

by
Lauren Powell

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Style Du Monde

Everyone knows that relationships take work, commitment, and dedication, but after the honeymoon period, it’s easy to take your SO for granted and assume that everything will continue to be a walk in the park through rose-coloured glasses. Right? Wrong. It’s this time, more than ever before, that you want to maintain, improve and create a partnership that will last a lifetime. According to the experts, it’s all about communication, connecting, and trust—the things we can all succeed at.

Huffington Post Australia recently spoke to relationship gurus who revealed how the happiest couples they’ve worked with stay happy and keep their connection strong along the way. Read on if you want to hit #relationshipgoal status.

They always kiss their spouse hello and goodbye

“Far from being a meaningless habit, this ensures that you connect, even for just a moment, at least twice a day. Many people in unhappy relationships say that they can’t recall when they stopped kissing at greetings and goodbyes, it just slips away without effort. When you make the time to make eye contact with your partner and kiss them, it shows that you prioritise your relationship even during the busiest of mornings or evenings.”―Dr. Samantha Rodman, psychologist and dating coach.

They set aside time to reconnect and make it a priority

“They understand that in long-term relationships, affection and sex don’t just happen, couples need to have a commitment to cultivating connection instead of hoping it just happens. For example, at the beginning of a relationship, most couples can’t keep their hands off each other. Later on in a relationship, they can’t seem to keep their hands off their phones or computers. Couples who commit to prioritising time to be together, to show affection and to keep learning and growing around sex, are definitely the happiest.”—Celeste Hirschman, sex and relationship coach.

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“When people are struggling in relationships it’s not unusual to feel that your partner is on a completely different team than you. Remember that you are on the same team and that you both care about one another. Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt is a great strength in a happy relationship.”—Dr. Marie Land, psychologist.

They don’t expect their partner to read their mind, they ask for what they need

“The happiest couples we see make it a habit to ask for what they need and listen to each other’s needs (without being resentful). Running around hoping another person will know what you need or that you are supposed to know exactly what they need is a recipe for disaster. The happiest couples are delighted to openly talk about needs and honour differences in needs without feeling like anyone should have already known or that their ‘soulmate’ will have the same needs as them.”—Dr. Danielle Harel, sex and relationship coach.

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They focus on the things they like about their partner, rather than the things they don’t

“This positive perspective, which is a trend among the happiest couples in decades of research by The Gottman Institute, is something that increases warmth, friendship, and feeling generally liked by their partner. This does not mean that they let their standards for the relationship go out the window. But when these couples are met with perpetual problems, even then they find the humour in their differences and work to find temporary compromises that enable them to continue appreciating their partner for who they are.”—Kari Carroll, couples therapist.