So this is a thing now, right? Get enough Internet signatures on a petition and you get to play in the MLB? I’m going to start a campaign. “Get War2 One At Bat.” It’ll be for the Cardinals, of course, because I figure the best way I could help the Cubs would be to play for any other team.

On this show!

Kerm is textually molested by a rabid Twitter follower

Andy tells a disturbing story regarding reproductive organs

I predict the Rangers will win the World Series, mere hours before they choke away the AL West

So stick around, why don’t you. It’s not like you have anything better to do with your life.

Now, nominally, this is a podcast about the Chicago Cubs. We have, each of us, grown up with the Cubs. The sounds of Harry and Steve were the soundtrack of long ago summers; the Cubs were as much a part of summer as chasing fireflies, breathing the dewy humidity of the cool Midwestern evenings, and playing catch until the sun set. Halcyon days, to be sure.

Nominally, this is a podcast, and what’s more, a celebration of those memories. The reality, however, is far darker. This is a fat camp. Welcome to the Fat Cast.

In this episode!

Biggest surprises and biggest disappointments this season.

Dolan’s picks of top 20 Will Ferrell movies.

The name and address of the listener we plan on visiting at 2am for an impromptu slumber party.

Fifteen minutes of almost total silence, punctuated only by the sounds of chewing.

Yanni.

Join us, won’t you? What do you have to lose, except 60 minutes of your finite life?

Hey hey, holy mackerel, no doubt about it. We’re on the air, and…and…well, we’re on the air. We’ll worry about things like content, professionalism, audio quality, and entertainment value at some later date. Like the man said, talent is luck, the important thing is courage. As the fates have it, we’ve got neither, so we’ll make do with partial anonymity and the technological equivalent of a Mr. Microphone.