"If I had my choice you'd be first," but look at me. Am I ever really likely to have my choice? It doesn't seem likely. My giant hideous eyes are set really far apart, my head is as big and round as a elementary school gym class kickball, I have two nostrils but no nose, and my knees have strange lines on them. I'll be lucky to find any valentine, let alone my first choice. It's a tough life for a pseudo Campbell's soup kid. A tough life indeed.