It is very easy to get into the trap of criticizing our own selves and feeling we made a fool of ourselves by getting HIV!

Its almost like having ourselves in eternal punishment for all the wrong deeds that we did.

How can one stop that? Particularly when one does not see oneself qualifying even an iota for God's forgiveness- when one cannot make out any case for oneself.

How can we get out of such negativity?

Thanks and Regards

Response from Rev. Brown

Dear Friend:
You are right. It is easy to get caught in the trap of criticizing and beating oneself up over contracting HIV. The other part of this is that guilt will beat us up over anything we do that is below the standards that we set for ourselves, and when we are trying to please God with how we live our lives. It is a great question that you ask, when you say how can one stop that? This will sound easy, but it is a day by day process that I am going to share with you, and it deals with your view of God, and how you see God's view of you. Often times we view God like we view a person of influence in our lives like a close loved one, and we heap those attributes on God, which can distort our view and perspective of God, as God's love for us supercedes even the greatest love we have ever experienced on this earth. We must remind ourselves that God is the epitome of love and because of His great love, He is always willing to forgive us for anything we do that we might always experience the fullness of His love for us. When you look at God we must see one who wants to love us for who we are even with our blemishes, and shortcomings. When we can see God in this way then it becomes easier to recieve forgiveness from God. When it comes to recieving forgiveness from God it is not about making a case as much as it is recognizing that I did something that hurts the heart of God, and because of this I say to God I realize I hurt you and ask that you help me to change that I might love you as you love me. This is why I say it sounds easy but it is a process. Remember this also God is always willing to forgive and He does, the catch is that when God forgives us we must also forgive ourselves. Know that anytime you need forgiveness that God has it in abundance and gives it to you willingly and with no strings attached.

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