Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Back Pain Day 2; Wholester Day

What a Go-awful
day Tuesday was. In the morning, bathing in a hurry to get to Dr. Shoja on
time, I fell in the bathtub and hurt my back. I spent the day horizontal; it’s
the way Leon likes me. Only one thing got me to move: Ice cream.

Today it is
better but I am an erection; from head to toe I am stiff and today is a Wholester day. We’re having a picnic in
Stanley Park today. Then I will go to see Bruce (by car.)

Walking to see
Bruce has brought a lot of joy to my days recently. The entire route is
residential; it passes parks, has stoplights at the major intersections and
ends in the tranquility of the Holy Family campus. I rarely have problems with
transit now, too, so the return trip is not emotionally challenging either. I
can hardly wait to get back to it.

Bruce called
this morning. I am glad he did. I know he wants me to visit and I like that.
And the weirdest thing is, is that when I go to see him every day I have
nothing much to tell him; I have no gossip or news, but we pass time very
comfortably somehow. Today I plan to talk to him about breaking up.

I find myself
in a relationship with him. I’ve been spending several hours with him a day and
I’ve been washing him and moving his body around and I’ve even met his whole
family. And my the time comes for him to go home, we’ll have been in this
pattern for at least ten weeks so I want him to wean me from him. I don’t want
a “cold turkey” separation. I’m sure he’ll understand.

•

My session with
Dr. Shoja was, as always, fabulous. I told her how much better I was feeling
between bouts of muteness. My speech problem has changed yet again; I stutter
less and am mute more. Instead of speaking with constant stuttering, I can
speak almost without stuttering for a minute or even longer, and then I cannot
speak at all. Mute episodes last as long as seizures used to — not long. So I
wait them out.