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Monday, December 7, 2009

12.7.09 - ENT Visit

We had Liam's ENT visit today. Despite Liam's changing cries and louder vocals, the ENT did not think his right chord was moving at all still. He looked at it for quite a while, and even though he thought at first it mught be moving, he said after watching it for awhile, he concluded that the left vocal chord is overcompensating for the right one, making it look like it was functioning. This was not all bad news, the good news is that he is compensating for the right one being paralyzed, therefore they are closing. As far as his eating goes, we will have to repeat the swallow study and see if he has made any progress getting his swallowing stronger. The ENT said the vocal chord issue just makes it more dangerous if he were to aspirate because his chords do not close hard enough to block his trachea from getting fluid down it.

It's been hard not to get my expectations up about appoinments like this. It just always seems like Liam is doing so great on the outside, but his inside workings are not lining up. This is a true test in surrendering indeed...And it's hard you know? I have always struggled with drawing a distinction between giving up on something and not caring about it to surrendering it to the Lord...Ifeel almost a guilt about laying it down and letting God take over. The guilt thing needs working on too...it amazes me how God is using Liam to help grow me spiritually. I can sense the Lord has a much greater purpose for Liam's journey than I had ever imagined...