Trying to catch just one good egg

Tuesday, 24 January 2006

just as i suspected

I just got off the phone with the nurse. My beta, was in fact, negative. I guess the good news was my progesterone was quite nice. I'll tell that to my sore hips. Pretty damn sure they don't care.

I called the mister. I made a promise to him once that he'd get all news before the internet. I suppose it's only fair.

The nurse was really supportive. She thinks we should do a FET and we could even do as soon as I could get my sore butt back on a plane to Cape Town. She's seen a lot of success with FET after fresh failures.

She also claims that the donor embryo program there is moving along. We joked about that a bit because I've heard it so many times before.

I'll write the good Dr. L now and see what he thinks. Maybe add some medrol to the protocol? I suppose that couldn't hurt. Maybe try another fresh? Our donor can't cycle again until spring--and I think she's probably already snapped up for her next cycle.

I want to thank all of y'all for your support. It means a tremendous amount to me-and the mister. I know I've said it before but truly it does.

There have been a lot of tears at my house the past few days. Mostly when the mister wasn't around because I know how much he's hurting too. He didn't give up hope for this cycle until my phone call a few minutes ago. He even berated me when I refused my shot last night (I told him I was willing to do a suppository but I didn't see the point to any kind of shot).

I'm sure there will be lots more tears. Right now, I'm just devastated. Kind of numb but totally devastated. How could this not have worked? How much more are we going to have to go through? I know we're going to be parents some how, some day. It just seems like it keeps getting farther and farther away from us.

Comments

Millie I'm so so sorry. I was hoping for door no 1 but secretly suspected the other, I just didn't want to lose hope. I'm so sorry it wasn't the right outcome this time. I'm glad you've got thoughts on further options but this must just suck. I'm thinking of you.

So sorry it didn't work. Any thoughts on having the embryos travel to you instead of you traveling to them? Believe it or not the big shot clinic in NY will FedEx your frozen embryos for you and I know a lovely 3 year old who had such a beginning.

Millie,
I am so very sorry. My sorry than I can say. I'm so completely and utterly disappointed. I wish I could fix this all for you, but all I can do is demand that you let me buy you copious amounts of highly alcoholic drinks in the city later this week, and that you let me give you a big hug.

Millie, I am so so sorry.
I've been internetless for a few days & am only now catching up with your posts. This sucks and is completely totally unfair. I'm sorry the universe is crappy and unjust. It's not supposed to be like this. Please take care of yourself.