Speaking of america, god DAMN it’s a weird country. i mean, on the one hand the americans totally like to push the little countries around, and even ignore the other big countries on issues like environment, irradiated foods, weapons research, etc. so americans totally dis other soverign nations OUTSIDE the country, but at the same time we totally accept different immigrant groups INSIDE our country, more than almost anybody else!! you can leave any subway station in any major city and within a block there’s chinese food, italian, korean, mexican, thai, and (in berkeley) ethiopian. but in japan, all you get is 40 identical, foul-smelling fish-noodle shops.

see, i think that’s why the japanese are much thinner than americans. all they have to eat is, like, squid and shrimp and , like, seaweed and junk. i don’t even think THEY want to eat that mess!

oh, and they ate ASPARAGUS WITH BACON WRAPPED AROUND IT. ‘BACON UP THAT ASPARAGUS, BOY!’

DATE: Wednesday august 6ENGRISH OF THE DAY:t-shirt reading, ‘DON’T BE A PHOTOCHEMICAL LEFTOVER’

Meanwhile, on the interior decorating tip, I’ve bought some tiny, bite-sized ROBOTS to go with my FAKE SUSHI. the robots and the sushi are the same exact size, so i decided to set up a BATTLE between them. . . right now i think the Sushi is winning. . . .

MONDAY AUGUST 11

Go to my Japanese pals’ house for lunch.

Anyways, my pals feed me this meal full of Japanese Kryptonite or something – it gives me total superpowers, and I spend the rest of the day tear-assing about town. . . .