Knives On A Plane

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The Transportation Safety Administration has been the butt of more jokes than airline food, and I've made as many of them as anyone. But, seriously, do you know anyone — even the grumbliest of grumbly passengers in line, tangled up shoeless in their own belts — who sat around once they got through the line and thought, "You know, this would be a lot easier if they just let knives on the planes again."?

The U.S. Transportation Security Administration will let people carry small pocketknives onto passenger planes for the first time since the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, along with golf clubs, hockey sticks and plastic Wiffle Ball-style bats. The agency will permit knives with retractable blades shorter than 6 centimeters (2.36 inches) and narrower than 1/2 inch, TSA Administrator John Pistole said today at an aviation security conference in Brooklyn. The change, to conform with international rules, takes effect April 25. Passengers will also be allowed to board flights with some other items that are currently prohibited, including sticks used to play lacrosse, billiards and hockey, ski poles and as many as two golf clubs, Pistole said.

And what about fencing, says the aging epee hack. Can I bring my weapons on board? You're letting those lacrosse crazies do it. And don't even get me started on what happens when they find my body cords in my carry-on. I knew I should have gone in for swimming.