Sexual abuse. Child assault. Rape. These are all words that nobody wants to hear. These are words that nobody ever wants to talk about. Nobody wants to say it happened to them. Nobody wants to say they know somebody it happened to.

I’m like that, too.

Silence of sexual abuse is big. It’s dangerous. It can tear you up inside. I know, it’s not easy to talk about it. It’s not easy for me to talk about my four-year-old niece being abused. I hate it. It makes me angry. I can’t stand the guy that did it to her. It needs to be talked about. However much you want to keep silent, it’s better to let someone know.

My sister set up an appointment for my niece to go see a counselor. This is good. I can only hope she gets better because of it. If you’ve been abused, you need to go see one. It’s hard, I know, but you can get through it. I know you can.

Talking about it will help you know that you are loved. I know it will help you.

I was talking to someone recently that was abused as a child. She told me that she kept silent for decades and still suffers the after effects of it. She wishes she had gotten help sooner.

Please, please, please go talk to someone. They’re there to help. You were left alive for a reason. You survived it. You didn’t live through it just to be tortured for the rest of your life. You lived through it for an amazing purpose.

Like this:

I’ve never self-harmed, and I’m glad I never have. I’ve come close, though. I’ve never admitted that to anyone I know personally, but I won’t hesitate to tell you that I have, in fact, come pretty close.

I know others that actually have.

Self-harming is terrible. I’ve heard it’s all too easy to go to it for pain. My own sister self-harmed. She went to it for pain. She went to it just to have feelings escape her. I was little, so I didn’t understand. I judged her for it. I know now that I was wrong to do so, but I was little. I didn’t understand why she would do that.

It’s not the only way to let pain go. I’ve heard people try to tell self-harmers to “just stop.” It doesn’t work that way.

I’ve heard of the butterfly movement, or butterfly effect. Have you heard of it? It’s simple. All you have to do is draw a butterfly on your wrist, or wherever you’re cutting, and name it after someone you care about. Don’t wash it off. Let it fade naturally. You’re not allowed to cut. If you cut, you kill the butterfly.

I know, the butterfly effect doesn’t work for everyone, but I’ve heard many stories where it helped someone to stop cutting. I’m happy every single time I hear this. I’m always glad when I hear yet another success story about someone that was able to stop self-harming.

There’s hope in the world for self-harmers, and I’m proven time and time again that the butterfly is powerful. It’s a beautiful creature that has such an effect on people.

Next time you feel the urge to cut, don’t do it. Draw a butterfly instead.

Eventually, I hope to post every other day. I’m working on getting through the holidays and getting back on a regular schedule.

As I mentioned last time, my niece was sexually abused at just three years old by her step-father. That was the most horrifying experience in my life. It was even more horrifying for her, I’m sure.

I never thought something like that could happen to someone in my family. I’ve always lived a life of over-protective parents, so I always thought that everyone in my family would be well protected. As much as it pains me, I was wrong.

I’ve always said that I would never forgive my former brother-in-law. Always. I knew there was a reason I never trusted him. I never liked him. Not even when my sister first started dating him.

My niece has always been a very sweet little girl who behaved most of the time. Yes, most of the time. Even the best kids have their bad days. Unfortunately, ever since her encounter with her step-father, she has not behaved. At all. It’s like she’s forgotten how. It breaks my heart to see that she doesn’t behave anymore. Such a small life ruined forever because of an idiot.

My sister said that she would feel like a failure if she got help for her child, but she realized she needed it. So, at last, there is an appointment set up for a counselor. I have never been more thankful for anything in my entire life.

I don’t know if you’ve been sexually abused, but if you have, therapy is essential. I know it’s hard to admit you need help, but it’s the only way the fear may be lessened. Being sexually abused can tear you apart. I’m thankful I have never personally experienced it, but I can see it with my niece. There’s pain. Even if you think you’re hiding it, it can still be seen.

Getting therapy is the first step to moving forward. I know it can be difficult, and I know it can be heartbreaking. Please, get help. I know you can get past this.