Monday, July 27, 2015

It doesn't matter who does or doesn't see your worth. It doesn't matter who held you or let you go. It doesn't matter... the pain. The rejection. The being taken for granted. Or even the love that we have lost. LIVE LOVED. Because we are. God loves us with an everlasting love.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

There are moments when we feel left out on our own. Betrayed. Rejected. Ignored. Oh that bitter taste of abandonment and painful stings of loneliness.

At those times, it's so easy to close our doors or build a wall so that no one can come in... so that no one can dump us to ourselves once again. It's so easy to run away from the world and create our own in the four corners of our room... so that no one can hurt us anymore. It's so easy to isolate ourselves and stay in the company of music. So that no one can stab our hearts any deeper than the wounds we already have.
It's so easy to act like we are fine so we can cover the state of our whole being.

It's so easy to keep a distance because people and their words can really be harmful.
It's so easy to pretend we don't need anyone. But we do.

Maybe, you're going through all these right now. And maybe you keep believing in yourself that you need help from no one. Because others have caused you a lot of pain. Because you have lost your trust in them. Because they have turned their backs on you over and over again.

But let me tell you that you cannot hide and pretend that you don't know the truth. That your heart yearns for someone who is true to you. Who really cares. Who can understand you. Somewhere in the corner of your mind you are searching for a hand brave enough to reach out to you and help you stand. Deep within you is a part which hopes that you can have someone beside you to encourage you to go on. Because you still want to fight a little more and go on.

And let me tell you that you have someone. Unlock that door, break your wall. Stop running and take that headphones off for a moment... and look up. It may seem to you that no one loves you. But believe this: You are never alone. You have God and He is with you. His hands are always reaching out to you... you just got to stretch out yours and hold on to Him so He can help you get up on your feet again. What others did... He won't do to you.

I've also walked on the same shoes before. But God never failed when I chose to trust in Him.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

"I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God ’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God . It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst. Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return. If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way: Stomping down hard on luckless prisoners, Refusing justice to victims in the court of High God, Tampering with evidence— the Master does not approve of such things." (Lamentations 3:19-36 MSG)

Thursday, July 16, 2015

The second half of the year already started two weeks ago. I looked back and read the few entries on my journal and decided to share my entry/ prayer last January 1, 2015. I can't remember now how the words came out, but I know at that time I was wounded and struggling to find healing.

2014 has already passed...

You know I have been through so much. Life last year has been a roller coaster ride for me and my emotions. I messed up a lot. LORD, You know that well. I hurt other people with my choices... with my words and with my actions. Had a lot of regrets... all those I wish I didn't say nor do. Consequences fell in front of me and they were like stinky junks at my feet. My heart gets crushed over and over again and bitterness and resentment sprang up from the deepest and wounded part of it. I usually get weary and tired making room for all the doubts which pollute my mind. I needed strength. I needed rest. I needed assurance and peace. There was no peace and serenity in my mind and in my heart. I needed You... but I ran to places and people in the hopes that they will satisfy me. So I ended up with the same bitter and broken and empty person that I am. Perhaps I was too proud and confident that I was living your will because I have given You parts of me when You needed me to surrender everything to you completely in order to heal me. I was partially obedient therefore I still disobeyed. I was always in denial. I have been very very stubborn and distrustful, LORD. I am sorry. I missed all the beautiful things and wonderful blessings You could've given me if only I listened and followed and paid attention to Your Word and to what You were trying to say. Things are getting harder for me to bear now. I needed a way out, but I know You wouldn't allow me to escape and once again run away. So can I ask? Can You just hold me and lead me to the perfect path where healing and restoration dwells? I want to throw off all the resolutions I thought of and entrust it all to You knowing that it is You who can make me whole again. LORD, there's no one else who can ever satisfy me but You. And there's no one else who can ever love me more than You do. Help me to rest in Your presence and truth filled with faith in all that You are... throughout this year and even the next years to come. — Katy❤ 01/01/2015

We all tend to take the burden on our own... to find wholeness and satisfaction in our own ways. Most of the time, we chase after what people we look to can do for and bring us and while at some point they help to lessen the weight we carry, it is only God who can make us whole again. Restored. Healed. Redeemed from the dark parts of our lives that were defeating us. We always run to the wrong places. But we need to fix our eyes on and direct our feet to Him in faith and let His hand touch our wounded, tired and weary hearts and make it complete.

I don't know what you are going through right now but let me tell you that, in Him is the wholeness we long for and need.