I'm a 32 year old woman who can never go back to my new dentist after two visits because I'm an idiot.

My dentist is a very nice and professional man. Our first appointment was going pretty smoothly until he made some innocuous remark about us "being strangers." My immediate reply was "oh, you're not a stranger! You've been inside of my mouth for 20 minutes!" I did NOT intend to make a sexual joke. His face turned red and he was clearly embarrassed but he continued on like a true professional and we were probably both relieved when the appointment was over.

I had my second dentist appointment today. I actually mentally prepared myself to be a model patient who didn't say anything weird, thank you very much. He had been working in my mouth for about 5 minutes when he started to seem really uncomfortable or something. His face was red and he was breathing a little heavier. I was a bit concerned and also confused. Like how could I have embarrassed him this time? I had hardly spoken! So he keeps working in there and then I realize what the hell is happening. My dentist was wearing grape flavored gloves. I had been absentmindedly licking his fingers the whole time.

Did you read any of her post history? She sounds like literally the funnest.

He's made the mistake of going out of town a couple of times. The first time, I bought a ton of tin foil from the dollar store and literally wrapped every single item in his man cave in foil (not the TV tho) down to coins and the ceiling fan. The second time he went out of town, I had a bunch of friends over and we blew up a ton of balloons and stuffed his man cave floor to ceiling with them. That was actually really fun because the night he got home we did shrooms and played in the room full of balloons.

I love all of your plant posts!
I have a Tiger Eyes tree I bought and planted at my old property and I assumed it would be gone.
It was even growing a baby, a little shoot of a mini it right under its boughs and apparently it's still there.
Anyway it's a nasty place now (on school grounds with a corrupt admin) and I want to save it but my family keeps renting (don't want to uproot for that) and I just have to hope it doesn't miss me too much.

I was not prepared for this thread. There is no TIFU here, this is just you being awesome. I need in on this friends thing too! If someone filled up my man cave with balloons, I'd be giggling for literally hours.

I’ll bring the grape flavored gloves. Nothing sexual, just have a box of vintage 2007 non-latex mediums that I’d enjoy sharing with someone who appreciates the flavor. Very nice bouquet, fruit-forward, with a bit of a dry finish.

I get nitrous oxide even for routine cleanings. They include it at no additional charge, so why not?

One time two dental hygienists were in the room talking about their child care arrangements, so I was mentally frolicking in some alpine field with the other hygienist's German Au Pair, until they switched to oxygen at the end. I hate that part.

I’m a dentist...people have very “curious” tongues and I can only imagine that would be worsened by grape flavored gloves. I think your dentist needs to have a sense of humor. The days get boring without patients like you.

Yeah I hate to victim blame, but if your gloves are going in someone's mouth and you intentionally wear grape flavoured ones, you can't not expect some licking. I would be surprised if OP was the first of his patients that day to lick his fingers.

You know, hearing my mom and dad tell stories about some of the places they've worked (like a limousine plant where they send the FNGs to look for glass stretchers or summer/winter glue etc), I fully expect this is a regular hazing practice in Dental offices for new Dentists.

Dental assistant here... I’ve also had grape SCENTED gloves. Patients still licked my fingers all the time. I stopped wearing them cause they smelled so good people can’t help it, and mine didn’t even taste good! He probably had to fart or poop the second appointment . Don’t worry op your golden

I never even thought about that! That would be THE WORST. I've felt bad for them when I had a right before lunch appointment and everyone's stomachs were growling like crazy. I was trying not to laugh while they were drilling because it was making super loud gurgling noises right by my ears.

I am a dude and I have never been sexually attracted to my dentist. I have a very curious tongue and ADHD with an addiction to chewing gum which I use to settle my lack of focus and nerves.

When my dentist is poking me with sharp metal tools, my tongue is following the entire time. It is just who my subconscious is and I can't for the life of me stop it.

I wouldn't worry about it. Honestly he probably stopped taking because he was trying to focus on something and didn't want to poke your tongue. It hurts when it happens especially because you know your body did it to itself.

Ah good, so it's not just me that the dentist has to repeatedly to tell to move my tongue out of the way? Apparently I have a minor subconscious habit of trying to stop the dentist from doing their job by sticking my tongue in the way. . .

I have to pick a tooth to press my tongue against, and just focus focus focus. Without fail though my mind wanders and I lose my tongue. I don't even know where in my mouth it is, let alone how to control it.

Yes! I do this too. I press it against the bottom of my mouth and sit there thinking "don't move your tongue don't move your tongue is it still pressed down?" over and over and over again along with reminding myself to nose breathe so I'm not panting like a dog onto their hands because I have dental phobia and will start doing shallow breathing. I have no idea how those people do their jobs.

I subconsciously breathe through my mouth while I'm at the dentist without even realizing it. When I realize that the sound of Darth Vader breathing is coming from me, I try to stop. It doesn't last long though.

I'm usually good at keeping my tongue out of the way, but sometimes my dentist puts a cotton thing in my mouth and tells me to hold it with my tongue. It's easier to keep the tongue still that way since you're focusing on holding the cotton thingy in place.

Last year my dentist cut my tongue right next to the frenulum (I got sutures and opioids) because while he was drilling (I think it was drilling) my tongue accidentally drifted downwards towards the drill. Why aren't there guards to prevent my tongue from getting mutilated?

(when practising dentistry) Our favourite tongue is the one sitting on the mouth floor in a relaxed mode, autonomusly. As soon as the patient tries to control the position or the movement of the tongue, things get worse.

I feel like a diamond in the rough. I hate going to the dentist and I do NOT want anything possibly hurting my tongue so I consciously make my tongue stay on the other side of my mouth. It was probably helpful for the dentist who tried for 25 minutes to pluck an impacted wisdom tooth from my mouth lol

it's straight up a semivoluntary reaction. a foreign thing in your mouth makes you want to probe it with your tongue, because, you know, it's a foreign thing in your mouth. that's not really a crazy thing to do in an evolutionary sense. so yeah, dentists have to deal with it, but I'm flabbergasted that any dentist who has done the proper training would be at all be surprised by this. the reason they tell you to move your tongue is because unlike an involuntary reaction (like the classic hitting the nerve on the knee, and your leg kicks forwards) you can consciously suppress it. but without action to suppress it, you'll do it.

Whenever a dentist is in my mouth I always move my tongue as far as away as I possibly can to the point I would probably swallow it if it was possible simply so I don't get in the way. I don't know if is helpful or not though.

I love my new dentist - I got 2 fillings this week and nearly fell asleep.
Need to get my wisdom teeth out though and my surgeon is much more like “lol it’s fine nbd” even though I’ve had panic attacks and cried the past 3 days in anticipation.

I am so relieved to hear this is really normal. One of my least favorite parts of routine dental exams is spending the whole time thinking, "Don't lick their finger, don't lick their finger, don't lick their finger." I don't want to, but the more I think about my tongue the harder it feels to control.

Glad to know I'm not alone. I was getting some work done and didn't even notice until the dentist politely asked me to stop licking his finger. Really nice older guy who retired the next year so I'm sure hes seen it plenty times before, but it was embarrassing to me at the time.

My dentist fucking hates me. I have absolutely ZERO control over my tongue because I panic and get extremely anxious in the chair, DESPITE laughing gas (nitro oxide? something like that).
I get so scared I can't control a fucking thing. He sorta gets angry which makes it worse for me and even more tongue pushing.

Oh I hate the dentist so so fucking much. Sigh. Sorry for the rant I wanted an actual dentist to read this.

My anxiety comes from having bad teeth all my life and as a kid my dentist was a fucking sadist laughing at me as he pulled teeth. Rural area, not many other dentists to go to and my parents thought that shit was on me to begin with.

Jesus, this whole conversation has me wondering whether I've been subconsciously licking my dentists' fingers my entire life and they've just never said a word about it because they're used to it.

They do often ask me to move my tongue to the other side of my mouth or whatever, repeatedly, meaning it moves back and I don't even realize it. I always feel like an idiot, like I'm some dumbass who can't control her tongue, but apparently I'm not alone, so thanks for this post! Still worried about the subconscious licking thing, though.

If I learned anything from skimming the 'human sexuality in life' course text book from my fiance, it's that the mouth is the first thing babies use to determine what things are. This continues into adulthood with all sorts of oral activities and such.

People act super weird when they are in the dental chair. The anxiety doesn’t help matters. I’ve had my fingers licked and sucked by accident 100 times because the patient thought it was the suction tip. He probably forgot about the interaction shortly afterwards. Don’t sweat it.

So many dentists in here and my palms are starting to sweat because of it. (Not kidding) I haven’t been to a dentist in about 17 years due to crippling anxiety. And otherwise, I’m a rather stable, put together person! (My heart is pounding.)

If it’s that bad — get them to drug you up. Over time it’s entirely possible that as you develop trust with a dentist that you will stop needing the anti-anxiety medication. I have a lot of patients that required sedation but after a couple visits decided to go without it.

Main thing is that 17 years is too long. U better get checked out. Even if it requires a horse tranquilizer.

I sectioned a few molars (split them in half) with a mallet & chisel on a mission trip in Southeast Asia one time. We had no electricity or drills.

I felt really bad because I know it had to scare the everliving shit out of the patients. I had no idea how much force to use. Luckily the ancient chisel set was super sharp so it didn’t take that hard of whack.

Yeah we had tons of anesthetic. Just nothing to cut broken teeth out with. That chisel set worked great though. It was in an old wooden box lined with crushed velvet. I bet it was over half a century old. I had only seen mallet & chisel dental tools in pictures before that day.

I too have a gigantic tongue inside a small mouth. So much dentist anxiety because it just does what it wants. My husband, on the other hand, has enough space in the bottom of his mouth to completely store his tongue in there. He also has room for wisdom teeth, the bastard.

Pre-sleep flash backs are the worst. You feel yourself juuust drifting off, when suddenly your brain activates 'hey...remember when you leaned in to go for that kiss over 10 years ago, and she smoothly leaned out with that heart-dropping look of quiet coldness...? Boy, was that awkward. Because you're awkward. She saw that coming from a mile away'.

A lot of offices will call your pharmacy and prescribe a mild oral sedation dose for free. Call around and find an office that offers cheap or free sedation.

The best advice I can give u though is to ask people you know about their dentist. If you ask around you will get a better idea for which local dentists have a reputation of being patient with nervous folks.

If a dentist has an asshat personality — word gets around. Same goes for the friendly offices.

In my limited experience and inference upon my friends' experience, you're much more likely to hook up on the first date with someone you met off Tinder. Of course, Tinder has the distinctive advantage of opening more doors... if you're a woman or attractive man.

I met mine at a college party, except I left the party early to get Chinese food and go home 'cause I wasn't really feeling it.

My roommate ended up hooking up with my gfs roommate, and while I was waiting for my Chinese food to be ready he texted me that he brought home a present for me. Got home and she was just sitting on my bed.

At a party at my next door neighbors house. I like parties, but once they get too packed I need out. So, I go out to lay in my hammock that I had set up and order a pizza.

As I’m laying there smoking a little spliffy spliff, a cute girl came out and thought my hammock was so cool, and wanted to join me. I said hell yeah, so she got in, and we finished smoking. Asked her if she wanted to also share a pizza with me that was on the way, and let’s be honest, who would say no? Shared a pizza. Took her out on a breakfast date a couple weeks later and we’ve been together since.

That was about 3 years ago, and we’re engaged to be married. Morale of the story, and LPT; hang out outside the party, that’s where you meet the great ones.

We can’t date our patients. It is unethical as hell. If we wanted to date a patient we are actually required to drop them as a patient.

On a side note when I was a student I did rotation at a pediatric clinic and during my lunch hour I tried out the grape flavored gloves and gave them a lick. Right as I did the attending doctor turned the corner to catch me mid licking my palm. Fucking embarrassing. He ignored it and asked me some dental questions.

Sidestory about a strong tongue: a child I took care of had macroglossia. That’s an extremely large tongue that hung out of their mouth. We’re seeing the doc one day and doc puts a tongue depressor in their mouth. This kid in literally one fast as lightning flick of their tongue breaks the tongue depressor in half. This is a 1 yr old. It’s hands down the wildest thing I’ve ever witnessed. I had no idea how strong tongues could be lol

We forgot to write wedding vows. The friend and family waited silently. Expectantly. I said "(future husband) What Is Best In Life?" and waited for his response. I went on: "To crush Your Enemies..." He was nervous but the train was rolling so he followed up: "see them driven before you." Me: "AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR WOMEN!" to 30% of audience applauding wildly in their feet.

Why is it, that when every dental tool known to man and the dentist's hands are inside my mouth he or she proceeds to ask me about my life story? Is it simply a distraction technique? Because even if it is, I don't know why I even respond.

When getting all my wisdom teeth out with local I eventually couldn’t tell where my tongue was and got a little nick from their saw. Had to get an assistant in with one of those flat stick tongue blocker things to keep me from frenching their power tools (saws? Cauterizers? Didn’t see)

As a 13 turned on by everything, this was my greatest fear while having my braces. At every check up to replace the bands, I mentally kept thinking, “Tongue don’t make this weird, tongue don’t make this weird”. I’m sure my orthodontist wrote in my folder “tongue weirdly quivering and jutting sporadically”

Strangest incident I had involved a patient who did, indeed, suck my fingers and tell me that I could come swim at her pool anytime, no scrubs required. I was ok with continuing to treat her until she asked if she could call me "Dr. Daddy." Now, she has a new dentist.

Edit: Thank you for the silver! My first time!

Unless you start to suck on my finger and stare directly into my soul - then it becomes weird.

Props to your professionalism. It's a shame it will never be acceptable to play into it sarcastically and make her uncomfortable too. Lean in and tell her you are going to tongue-punch her fart box or something.

A good chunk of people hate going to the dentist, so you definitely have to have some tricks up your sleeve when it comes to making the dentist enjoyable again. I'll keep the fart box comment in my back pocket for a rainy day, just in case my lawyer gets bored.

It's such a relief seeing you (and other dentists) say this! I've always felt embarrassed by my tongue's seeming inability not to go poking at whatever the dentist is doing - it's mortifying, like it's my tongue, it should do what I want it to do, not go....investigating.

Don't sweat it a bit! I've found that having some distractors helps. That could be listening to music, or taking some really deep breaths during the procedure. It's like swallowing. Once you tell yourself not to swallow, i.e. when you have a sore throat, it's the only thing your body wants to do. Once you (or the dentist) tell yourself not to move your tongue, naturally it's all you want to do. I almost never bring it up directly just for that reason! That is, unless your tongue is aggressively inhibiting what needs to be done.

Ouch, for some reason yours makes me feel way more uncomfortable. I'm pretty open to whatever helps a patient feel comfortable, but there are some things that cross the line. Especially with staff - if staff are uncomfortable with something a patient does, the patient is gone, 100% of the time.

I'd say at least once a week somebody does some licking that would be considered strange by a layperson. And YES! Eye contact freaks me out for some reason with adults. You're giving an IA and they're staring into the depths of your soul.

Sometimes with kids I'll look back into their eyes with my loupes on to get a giggle. It helps to make them more comfortable, and it helps to even let them try out the loupes sometimes so it isn't so alien. Just be sure to get them back before you start drilling.

Detective 1: “Here we go again, Johnson. Same markings as last time, same dentist’s bib. Pay attention rookie, you might learn something.” Reaches into mouth to extract a small piece of blue glove

Detective 2: “Oh shit boss. Is that what I think it is?” covers his mouth

Detective 1: lifting the piece of glove to his nose and smells it “This sick sumbitch has an oral fixation, likes to reach into his victim’s mouths while he chokes them to death. Looks like this one fought back.” Looks at his partner while lifting the piece of glove into the light “The smell test never lies. He’s back, after all these years.”

My wife actually bought strawberry flavoured fridge magnets once, I’m not sure why anybody would want them but she has a bit of a thing for fridge magnets. One early morning whilst I was making coffee, my curiosity got the better of me and I walked over to the fridge, leaned in towards it and gave it a lick. It was fucking delicious, things got out of hand quickly and I continued to lick it passionately for a good 30 seconds. “What the fuck are you doing”, I turn around immediately, it was my 15 year old son, standing there in complete awe. I had to tell the truth, I said that in nineteen ninety eight the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcers table.

I'm a very handsome professional who works with mostly ugly, obees women. If one of them starts hitting on me, I start hitting them, because it's very inappropriate for them to do that to me. It's one thing for a man to hit on an attractive woman, but unattractive women should not be hitting on attractive men (like me) while I'm trying to sell them sandals for there stinky flippers.

To an extent - but it would be naive to deny standards of beauty that obviously flourish. I mean really attractive people have a different social experience in life and that's objective, like it or not.

Did you just read title? I think the listing is for a condom that comes with a pocket sized travel case to hold them. I can't really see in the listing immediately where it suggests they would have pockets.

Right? My best guess is that he has them for children's appointments and had run out of regular latex. Our first appointment he just wore regular chalky latex gloves. Apparently, these grape flavored ones are subtly delicious but I don't think he could be convinced to wear them with strange adults again.

"This, the Prostate Buffer 6000! She's designed to remove even the most stubborn stains from any prostate, even at 30 degrees!... Now close your eyes and think of England, whilst I pop this grape flavoured nozzle up your pipe"

Camera pans right to a sweating face. Squirts of purple lubricant can be seen flying around

honestly your dentist just sounds really socially awkward or maybe you were reading into things too much, i've done this before on accident and it wasn't really a big deal. it's hard for something like that to be weird when someone already has their hand in your mouth to begin with

Its not common because dentists are required to use gloves only once per use because you definitely don't want to transmit shit from one patient to another. Flavored gloves probably so that kids don't taste rubber and get all squeamish about it.

But last time I checked, medical grade gloves don't taste like anything really and good dentists mostly avoid the tongue (because you definitely dont want to poke the tongue with those sharp tools) so what's more weird is that she's licking his finger constantly and not knowing that its grape flavored until the end?

Can we talk about that actually?

Honestly I feel like the story is really exaggerated. She must have figured it out really quickly and this licking didn't last 5 minutes of sexual confusion. Dentists are trained to stop doing anything if stuff like that happens because you dont want to mess up the patient's mouth because the tongue is acting horny.

I have this image of you staring at him oddly, wondering why HE’S being weird. Meanwhile your tongue is flailing wildly, lashing back and forth at his delicious fingers. This story made me laugh deeply.

I have this image of you staring at him oddly, wondering why HE’S being wired. Meanwhile your tongue is flailing wildly, lashing back and forth at his delicious fingers. This story made me laugh deeply.

Me (M) have had the opposite happen at my new dentist. Had two different hygienists (F) make comments that could be considered completely innocent and sexual. One told me I had a very strong lower lip and the other comment how talented my tounge is (had a block in my mouth to help keep it open and was abke to flip it out of place swallow and put it back in place with my tounge) so many comments came to mind both times, but I managed to stay professional.

I also had a doctor be the one with the inappropriate comment. I probably had strep throat and the doctor (F) was getting a throat swab from me (M) to test for the infection. When I didn't react, she looked over at my girlfriend, smiled and said, "Oh, no gag reflex! That's useful!" Kind of a bizarre thing to say to a male patient's girlfriend, but, well... she wasn't wrong! (Not that she had any way to know that.) I didn't react in the moment other than blank surprise, but the GF and I laughed a lot about it later.

Man, right? When I was like 17 and 18, I'd go to this dentist who would comment, each visit, on how cute I was and later, how especially handsome I'd be after going to college in New Mexico, because I'd get even more tan. Most of the visit with her either side beside the chair, I'd feel her chest like, way smooshed against my shoulders and often my face. (Thinking back, this doesn't seem like it would happen. But, she'd lean over me for whatever tool and I'd have a full face press. Multiple times in the visit. I can't imagine that's common.)

And I mean, I've been to other dentists and hair salons that shampoo, where chicks and their boobs of whatever size are near you, and there's no contact because people are usually conscious of their bodies and maintain professionalism. Not this tech, though.

Or maybe she had no idea. But, it was a lot. I was definitely not sure how to handle that, being real uncomfortable with my own body and sexuality in general, at the time.

Never have had trouble keeping my tongue down in its own space while dental folk work away. So no accidental licking stories!

I’m a dental assistant. A patient was telling me he was going to go home and take a nap. Being tired, wanting a nap too, and not thinking I responded “can I join you?!?” I’m still traumatized by what I said 😆

(I'm an adult woman.) My mouth makes a lot of saliva when dental work of any kind is happening just due to something being in my mouth. It is enough saliva that dental hygienists tend to comment on it. My automatic comment back twice was, "Sorry, usually that's really helpful." It mortified me the first time I said it, but I still managed to say it again to a different hygienist another day.

My dentist was talking about too much light coming in his new office. He told his assistant that he was thinking about getting beaded curtains. He was very serious. I told him while he was going back to the 70s he should get a disco ball and a bowl of cocaine too. This very straight laced doctor almost fell out of his chair laughing!

I was in a similar situation at my last job. I worked with this sweet old lady that I absolutely dwarfed in size. Well one day we were standing up working side by side and she says, “you’re tall!” to which I reply “I’ll give you a few inches if you want!”

I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I was getting a tooth pulled a long time ago, and I had to wait 3 weeks for the dentist appointment, so I had come up with my own way of dealing with pain. Like breathing out slowly through my mouth. Right. So he clamps down on my tooth and super intelligent me is like. Yes ok, to make this hurt less, I'm going to breathe out through my mouth as he pulls it. 10/10 this will work. Except I was on drugs #1, and #2 my slow breath + the pain happening at the same time resulted in an extremely throaty, porn star moan. The dentist and the assistant both stopped cold. 100000 years passed and I was waiting to die. Then he went back to work and just cleaned me up and sent me home in a rush. aaaaaahhh. And my next dentist (I couldn't go back to #1 obv) moved my head off of the chair and directly into his lap as he worked. My face was right next to his dick and I was frozen the entire time. And strangely aroused.
tldr: moaned passionately at the dentists office by accident and maybe I have a dentist fet.

Last time I went in for a filling I got them to put me on the nitrous oxide, they must have turned it on high because I was way out of it.

I remember coming back to my senses at one point while I was basically tongue fucking the gorgeous dental assistants finger. She didn’t say anything so I kinda just stopped.

It was at that point that I noticed all of my extremities are feeling kind of numb, except... fuck, Ive got a raging boner don’t I? Damn super awkward, but at this point I’m high as balls so I decided to not care and enjoy the trip.

i feel your pain, my mom pointed out that my dentist looks EXACTLY like my boyfriend (disturbingly close to being the same person) so now every time i go to the dentist all i can think about is how i usually only see this face from this angle when we’re having sex. it makes it very awkward but i don’t think he knows... at least i hope he doesn’t

Mine is similar but I still go back everytime. My dentist is ehh... rather busty. She works from behind my head. She has a tendency to put her boobs on my forehead when she works. Not a problem she's always nice to me. I mostly just try not to giggle. 10/10 I eat nothing but candy so I can go more often.

I was having my throat scoped by a really attractive doctor, the kind of scope where they feed it through your nose and down your throat while you are awake. It was myself and her in the procedure room, with a nurse running out to get supplies as needed. So the two of us are sitting discussing the procedure, and we've been getting along great...talking about research, publishing and academia in general. She is explaining the procedure and says she's had it done a few hundred times because she was the guinea pig in med school because she doesn't have a gag reflex...she could have left it at that, but she keeps it up bragging about how anything can go down her throat and she just won't gag. Right after she said it she knew what she did, and turned beet red. I wanted to laugh so hard, but I had a Sony Handicam in my nose so I couldn't. When it was all over I said "Wow, you must really not have a gag reflex because that made me want to choke". She wouldn't look me in the eye after that appointment...

I’d suspect a subtle sexual tension/attraction in both directions. Her comment at the first appointment was not intended to be sexual, yet it could be understood sexual (something that he might have done; but something that she definitely thought that he had done - so she basically did have a fantasy of something sexual in the air). This is how the unconscious works. And it is the stuff for sitcoms as New Girl.
Plus: If the gloves were grape flavoured he is almost asking for getting licked.

Nipples was her street name. She was discovered wet and curled up on the doorstep during a monsoon. She was just a kitten herself, but she was pregnant. Her nipples were crazy extended and we called her Nipples until bestowing her proper name, Boudicca. RIP Boo.

Similar thing happened to me last week. At my office we had a big seminar style meeting which are infamous for being somewhat boring. A direct report of mine was missing the meeting due to a Dr. appointment. When she informed me, I said "no worries, everyone falls asleep in these things anyways".

​

Later on she rescheduled the appointment and, when she informed me she was going to attend she said "now we can sleep together".

​

I just sort of looked away for a moment and said changed the subject to work immediately.

I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has done this! I, too, have absentmindedly licked the dental assistant’s fingers. He carried on as if nothing was happening but when I realized what I was doing I was super embarrassed. I wish I could have blamed it on flavored gloves.
Thank you for the laugh!

Idk if this makes you feel any better, but one time I (a woman) was doing physical therapy and the therapist (also a woman, close in age) was making comments about the knots in my neck and shoulders as I’m face down and she’s using that metal scraper thing to cut them up. And I told her that “yeah sometimes I just sit there and try to rub one out.” I was mortified. I’m pretty sure I said other stupid shit because I pretty much just stopped talking all together at those appointments unless absolutely necessary. It’s impossible it’s like “how’s the pressure?” with the tens machine and you’re just like “can you go harder?”

This sounds like an episode from a sitcom that my wife and I would love watching and bastards at the network would cancel after season 2 and I’d get no closure as to whether you ever ended up shagging the dentist.

I don’t think either were bad. The first time was witty banter, and the second time is every experience I have had with the dentist. I’m painfully aware that my tongue does all kinds of acrobatics when my teeth are being worked on, and I have no control over it. If your dentist is pretty good, I’d say stick with him.

Also, I have a funny story with my dentist. When I was about 14, my dentist was making small talk and asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up. I sarcastically replied, “A dentist, of course,” which in mind, was to flatter him and his profession. Unfortunately, he took me seriously, and launched into an hour long talk about dentistry internships and programs. I had no interest in pursuing dentistry, but all I could do was nod and smile politely the whole time. I never went back to that dentist, but I did learn an important lesson in false flattery.

I can never not laugh while the dentist is in my mouth because I always think of the funniest scenarios. The one that makes me laugh the hardest is thinking of a patient following the dentist's hands around with their tounge while the dentist is just trying to work.

I think you should ask him out lol (if you’re both single), but get a new dentist first. I’m guessing he works in an office with other dentists, so the next time you’re there you can ask to speak with him. Just a thought.

I honestly wouldn't have inferred the first comment you made to be sexual. Unless there was some purring or a breathy tone along with it. It's a funny situation that of course someone with their fingers in your mouth would hopefully not be a stranger.

Also, and this is just me here, but I think if he's calling you two strangers that probably means he wants to get to know you more? I get you're a new patient, but there's no way you're his first ever new patient.

Look, this will probably happen with every dentist you go to. Look him in the eye and be totally honest about the situation. "I tend to be weird around dentists. I don't know why. You're really professional about it, and I appreciate that. Can we continue to have a professional relationship, knowing I'm going to be weird?". He'll be relieved it's not actually sexual. You'll be relieved it's out in the open. Just do it.

That first thing you said was hilarious anyone who doesn't laugh at that is a bit dull tbh.

Now the gloves are a bit weird I admit 😂 BUT its on him for having grape flavoured gloves 😂😂 none of my dentists have ever had flavored gloves. He should have politely asked u if u could try and not move your tongue too much.

Well, awkward moments are part of life and they happen to all of us without exception. If this is the dentist that you go to, just keep going and just acknowledge the awkwardness, explain, and make a joke out of it. Just similar to when two guys are about to greet each other-one goes for the fist bump, the other one goes for the handshake, the only thing to do is to laugh and say "that was awkward" and laugh about it. If it helps, just ask question related to dental care next time.

I used to have a comical relationship with a former boss. We were brutal to each other , nothing was off limits. When I used to say I was going to the dentist, his response was always “ are you gonna let him put his tool in your mouth?” It always cracked me up.

I mean his gloves wouldn't need to be flavoured if people didn't commonly lick the gloves. Probably happens a lot and he was just trying to concentrate cause it was making it more difficult for him to work on your teeth. Or maybe not, who knows

Lmao or you could keep going back and just have this double life where you’re secretly a crazy person licking the dentists gloves making dumb innuendo jokes, than the moment you walk out of the dentists office. Normal.

I wouldn't even consider the first time to be inherently sexual, that's just something any smartass would say. I'm a straight dude and I would've said the same thing to a male doc doing his thing. Fuckin' keep at it, break the doc out of his shell.

I guess just be honest with him. If you are into him, say, would you like to go on a date, if he says no, you say thank you, and continue being a patient. If he says yes, you go all naughty at the date.

Edit: I now see that you have a husband. Perhaps have your husband in the doctors room sitting on a chair, and apologize about your accidental flirty behavior. Remember: good dentists are hard to find.

How do you absentmindedly lick someone’s fingers even with a mouthful of Novocain? I get this feeling this poor dentist is about to lose his license for no good reason or worse. Like he intentionally put grape flavored gloves on which forced her to suck his fingers in a sexual way.