Minecraft is great for kids, there's also Minecraft clubs they can go along to. The hive server is fantastic and there's always someone making sure language etc is kept in check, you can also add family rated servers and lock it down to those servers.

Or you can run your own server on just the LAN, quite often I come home to find several kids playing Minecraft.

Unturned is also really good, a survival game with minecraft like graphics and most people are well behaved.

Old skool gaming like Dungeon Keeper and Evil Genius are also great games that kids seem to enjoy still. Hammerwatch is a fantastic rogue/gauntlet style game with 80s/90s graphics that is great for kids (I'm also addicted).

Currently my son is playing Robocraft where you craft your own robots/tanks and attack the other team. Many many great games, just get a steam account or check out GOG :-)

MUD's are the great grand daddy of MMOs. They were around before the term MMO was around, I use to have a DoorMUD setup through my BBS in the 90's. My current setup no longer has one but might have to set one up again :-) Miss them :-)

Thanks for the plethora of suggestions. There are lots to follow up on. I totally disagree that the sort of violence on Skyrim is the same as cartoons. Firstly because it's not 'cartoony', secondly because it's player directed, and thirdly because it's encouraged. Obviously you can let your kid play whatever you want, but I'll take up some of these options first.

My son already plays Minecraft and he loves it, but we don't let him play multiplayer. It's not even the language, I feel like he could potentially make our computer vulnerable (by being coerced to divulge information) and I wouldn't let him play IRL with a group of adults I didn't know, so can't see why we would allow it online.

Good discussion though (including that segue onto MUDs - oh the memories), and I appreciate that different parents will have different levels of acceptable violence, etc. Still think there's a gap in the market for realistic, immersive games for 8-11 year olds that aren't too adult in their themes.

BlackGlove: Thanks for the plethora of suggestions. There are lots to follow up on. I totally disagree that the sort of violence on Skyrim is the same as cartoons. Firstly because it's not 'cartoony', secondly because it's player directed, and thirdly because it's encouraged. Obviously you can let your kid play whatever you want, but I'll take up some of these options first.

I didn't say that the violence in Skyrim was the same as cartoons, I said there was less violence.

I don't let my children play games that trivialises or minimises the results of violence, or has any form of cartoony element to it. Violence has very serious implications, and this should be reflected in game so children understand what happens in real life.

I also don't appreciate your implied moralistic slur. If you're going to ask for advice on forums you should be a little less judgemental.

Honestly, no slur intended. I was genuinely trying to allow for other's choices as equally valid. I know that some people would see my decisions as prudish.

Also I apologise for para-phrasing you incorrectly. I still see the type of violence as worlds apart - although I guess that also depends on the cartoons that you are talking about.

I haven't played Skyrim, but I have watched some gameplay videos and the description on ESRB website says "Some sequences allow players to injure/kill nonadversary characters, including prisoners chained to a wall; they scream in pain amid splashes of blood".

BlackGlove: Honestly, no slur intended. I was genuinely trying to allow for other's choices as equally valid. I know that some people would see my decisions as prudish.

Also I apologise for para-phrasing you incorrectly. I still see the type of violence as worlds apart - although I guess that also depends on the cartoons that you are talking about.

I haven't played Skyrim, but I have watched some gameplay videos and the description on ESRB website says "Some sequences allow players to injure/kill nonadversary characters, including prisoners chained to a wall; they scream in pain amid splashes of blood".

Perhaps I was being a bit sensitive.

We have a problem with censorship. The starting frame of reference seems to be wrong. Why do we want to give children an unrealistic idea about violence and death? Why do we want to have them traumatised the first time they see something like an animal being killed, because they've been given a bowdlerised view of the world?

Of course every animal character in Skyrim can be killed, they can be in real life (so can plants but plants in Skyrim are merely scenery). There are however consequences. If you kill a NPC (in most instances) you incur a bounty. The worse it is the more likely you are attacked on sight. I watched both of my children try to play in an antisocial manner that most games allow. The result was the game became almost unplayable for that character. Their first response was to abandon the game, but after watching me play they wanted to play again, and changed the way they played.

And my point about violence is this, there is a huge amount to do in Skyrim that isn't combat. Level progression comes from increasing skills. Combat skills probably make up half the available skills at most. Skyrim has a huge world with a lot to explore. Proportionally the amount of time you spend engaged in any form of violent activity is less than the amount of time there's violence in your average cartoon for children that age.

Skyrim also has no sexual content unlike games like games like Dragon Age 2. Corpse can't be mutilated or treated like rag dolls.