>Creating Effective Communication

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>Is normal to occasionallydisagree with theirspouse. Whether itrelates to home-basedtasks, financialcalculations, or even adinner menu selection.Even for couples angryover certain things wereallowed. As long as theydo not say things thatmake it hurt and lead todivorce or breakup.Expressing resentmentthing reasonable andpermissible, because it isone form ofcommunication. Makesure you communicatehow to keep it runninggood for yourrelationship ever lasting.According to PatriciaGibberman, a socialworker from Vancouver,the key to therelationship is stillrunning is stillcommunicate in waysthat deepen the love andconnection. How do youcommunicate with yourpartner, especially whenthe argument says a lotabout the strength ofyour marriage.In his study, Dr. JohnGottman, a marriagerelationship found thatthose who speak withrespect and love to havea happier relationshipand lasting than the wayhe spoke to attack eachother or criticize eachother.“The husband and wifeare happy to applyproper friends, becausethey can handle conflictswith gentle and positiveway,” said Gibberman,couples therapistcommunication.Six steps can help youand your partner tocommunicate better andmore closely with eachother:1. Being an activelistener“Most couples do notwant to hear what theirpartner said when thereperseruan, because theyare busy thinking abouthow to deny theirpartners,” explainedGibberman. Before youbegin to argue, agree totake turns. One of youmay speak, while theother still and listenwithout menyelak. Aftereach talk, show that youunderstand the feelingsof the hearer.2. Show gratitudeEvery day, look foropportunities torecognize and appreciatewhat your partner hasbeen done correctly. Thisis better than looking formistakes. Saying thingslike, “Thanks for dinner,honey. Egg omelet you dothe most good,” will helpwarm the atmosphereand strengthen therelationship. This sort ofthing will become easierfor you and he cope withconflict.3. Forget the pastWhen you are in a feudwith the him, try to be inthat topic. Tilting the oldtopics will only make himupset, not to mentionwill make it is defensive.Plus, it extends to othertopics will only make itdifficult to reach aresolution.4. Complaint withoutblameUse the word calls toyourself when you askhim to do something. Forexample, you want thehe put his dirty clothes inlaundry basket, as longas he is always put atrandom. You can say, “Ilike trouble if you putdirty clotheshaphazardly. Can youplease me, every timethere’s dirty clothes,please put in the basketof dirty clothes?” Avoidblaming words with theuse of a word to him,like, “Why do you alwaysput your dirty clothes tuhvain?”5. Time out“When the discussion isnot going well, mostcouples tend to keepfighting, which in turnwill aggravate thesituation,” explainedGibberman. Next time, ifyou’re arguing, try to askfor time to holddiscussions and break fora moment, whether it be15 minutes or 5 days,until you are quite calmand could think clearly.Originally discussedagain, not allowed toevaporated.6. Recognize yourmistakesTake responsibility foryour contribution to theproblem, although it isnot easy. For example, “Ishould talk to you aboutthe price of that sofabefore buying. Can weobrolin how do we get topay the couch?” Tryingto dodge, “I’m spendingoverpriced baseball,really,” or attack,“You’re spending tooexpensive, too! See tuhflat screen television!”will only hurt each otherand trigger emotions.