From mud huts, umqomboti and straightback to penthouses, expensive weaves and moet!

Realities 119

Its weird really, when you are the wife of the man who has kids everywhere its not so hard to allow those kids to come visit you in your home. I am not saying that they are 100% welcome but there is a level of comfort in them coming to your house. For one you get to monitor their behavior in front of your children. Secondly and most importantly, it keeps their mothers far away from your own children. That’s the whole point. I don’t want my kids going to my husband’s ex’s house.

“No, she cannot go!”

I told him sternly.

“But she is already gone!”

He protested.

“Then go pick up my daughter!”

I said coldly.

“You are being unreasonable Nothabo!”

He said.

“One day when you are married to her Lintle can visit and that day is not today so please go get my daughter!”

I said again. He could see I was not playing and he just walked tail between his legs. Sometimes I know I am a bit harsh on him but when it comes to Lintle I won’t back down.

I was sitting with the other women. It was awfully uncomfortable to be honest considering that many probably did not want me here. When people are in mourning they are known to get irrational. If Sizwe was here I would feel better and protected but right now I just wanted him to make sure that my daughter was back.

They drove in and I saw them from a distance. Lintle as usual stepped out of the car with zest, clearly angry that she was being brought back. I did not want her to embarrass me by saying something untoward so I went to meet them by the car.

“But mum it’s not cool. She sleeps at our house all the time, why can’t I sleep at hers?”

She protested.

“One day when you are a mother you will understand!”

I responded without raising my voice. She was very unhappy I could tell.

“Mum, with all due respect, you have already spoiled all your relationships with people, please I am begging you, don’t do that for me. Nelisa is my sister and you can’t change that. She treats me like a little sister and gives me advice when I need it!”

She protested.

“Like when she introduced you to that Python character to sell drugs? Is that the advice you are talking about because if it is, ke shap ka yona!”

I said putting two thumbs up. I was obviously being sarcastic and she recognized that. She did not know that I knew the role Nelisa had played since I had eavesdropped on them.

“What? Cat caught your tongue?”

I asked her cheekily. She knew not to answer because she was busted. Instead she dragged herself to the car to pout I suppose.

“Here she is! But that was not necessary though Nothabo!”

Sizwe said I guess wanting to protest again. You know it’s weird, when you love someone so much for so long, the day you fall out of love it feels so sudden and whatever they do does not seem right. I don’t know when exactly I had started falling out of love with my husband but it’s clear that I had. He just irritated me and was not the same man I once knew.

“We are going to discuss this later!”

He was saying but I was not paying attention.

“I am going to sleep at my mom’s place tonight!”

I told him before he could walk away.

“I think that’s wise!”

He said. If it was before I would have thought by that response it was because he wanted to go see Nelisa’s mother but again, I did not care anymore, he can go to his killer mistress.

“Are you guys really fighting at Nozipho’s funeral?”

Lintle asked me,

“You need to start being parents and stop being ruled by your emotions. Someone has died here and in our home yet you think your problems are bigger than everyone else’s?”

Lintle said questioning me. I took my phone out of the bag and went outside. I did not have time for this. As long as she was back, she can shout all she wants; she was not sleeping at that house.

I had not spoken to my mother in a long time but calling my father was not an option. We had fought because I had refused to accept Sibongile so here was yet another battle I had to fight. When had my life fallen apart this much though! I called my mother.

“Where are you?”

Was the first thing she asked when she picked up the phone?

“How are you ma?”

I asked her instead.

“I am ok. I am watching something on TV which I want you to see!”

She said. Oh that explains and I guess justified the rudeness.

“I am in Bloemfontein and I am not anywhere near a TV!”

I said to her and expected an explosive response. She surprised me instead by saying,

“Ah, I haven’t cooked. You will have to buy food on your way unless you want to cook. Did you bring Lintle?”

She asked cheerfully. That’s my mother for you. If you didn’t know better you would forget that we are fighting.

“Yes I am with her. We will buy food on the way there.”

I said to her. I did not want to explain to her why we were here just yet and will rather do it in person.

“Will my son in law be joining us?”

She asked me. Why was my mother being so sweet? She rarely ever is and is one person I know that can keep and hold on to a grudge for as long as possible.

“No he won’t be. He is here too but he is going to sleep at his home!”

I told her. It’s always been a problem our sleeping arrangements when we come to Bloem as both our parents are here. Often what we do is that one night we sleep at my place and the other at his place. Come what may we visit both sides.

“Ok then. I am excited; it’s been too long since you came home!”

My mother said and hung up. If I didn’t know better I would think my mother had won the lotto or something.

“Go get your father, he must drive us there!”

I told Lintle. She was still sulking but she did as I said. As I sat there I got a call from Zethu. She wanted to hear how the trip had gone and what reception we had received.

“We need to plan when we are coming down so please make sure you give me the information as soon as you have it!”

She asked me or rather informed me. I was always going to tell her. She was with my brother who asked to speak to me.

“I know the timing is wrong but Zethu and I have been talking. Could you please be the Godmother to our child?”

He asked politely. Talk about poor timing. I heard Zethu in the background try and stop him by telling him that now was not the time. He told her that there was no time like the present. I am sure there was going to be an argument on this at some point tonight.

“I would love to. Thank you!”

I said genuinely happy about it. He was an idiot but still my brother and she was my best friend more like a sister. Why on earth would I say no to that?

I could hear them cheering in the background and in spite of all that was happening I managed a smile. A ray of light with all that was happening. Before I could respond I was disturbed by my husband who came back to the car furious at something.

“I have to go; Sizwe is ranting and raving about something!”

I told my brother. He asked if he could speak to him but I told him that maybe later as I needed to hear what was going on first. My brother can be persistent at times so I hung up immediately after I said that.

“Why are you guys sitting in the car? It’s rude for you to do that. You should be in the house with others!”

He said but we just ignored him. Lintle was behind him with her arms crossed across her chest. She too wanted to go, that much I am certain. She was angry at me but she will live.

“Sizwe it’s late and we have travelled. We can’t be sitting there no matter how much we want to.”

I explained but whatever was bugging him must have been dying to come out because he ignored my response and went on to say,

“The mother wants us to cremate her! What kind of nonsense is that? How will she be accepted by my ancestors?”

My husband said. Who was this man? Since when did we talk about ancestors in this family and how can they accept her when he never accepted her in the first place. Much ado about nothing!

“Just drop us off please!”

I said to him.

“Did you not hear me? How can I leave when they are discussing something so stupid?”

He asked me.

“But what’s that got to do with me though?”

I responded. I was not being insensitive but this had everything to do with him and this family. I was more like a guest in all this.

“I need your support Nothabo. This is a very difficult time for me. I know we are having our problems but for this please stand with me!”

He pleaded.

He had got me where he wanted.

“Mum I will stay in the car. Go with dad please; he can’t be going through this alone!”

Lintle stepped in. They had ganged up on me somehow and now I was the bad party.

“I will get someone to take you to your gran ok my dear!”

My husband said to her. The last thing I had wanted was to spend any more time here or with him. He was acting like he had loved Nozipho so much all this time when we all know the truth.

I am a 25 year old female who just moved from the Eastern Cape to the Gauteng province for work related issues. The company I work for is in Centurion. The reason for this letter is that I need a place to stay, I do not mind sharing as long as the place will be decent and not too expensive to get to work. Most people have suggested I look into Pretoria Central kodwa ke I am new apa and just do not know how to go about it. I have searched the internet but my stipend jus won’t manage what I find there. I therefore appeal to your readers, if any of them know of any decent rentals in either Pretoria Central or Centurion to contact you for my number. I do not mind paying R2200 should the place be closer to work however if push comes to shove I would be prepared to pay up to R2900 if transport is included. Thank you.

PS: Please let me know when you have found something so that I can give you my number.

Post navigation

14 thoughts on “Realities 119”

Regards you need to come to Pretoria central physically and look for a place and view them. Just be prepared with R 2500 for rent excluding transport or otherwise you will have to share a room which is very uncomfortable. When I was at your stage I paid 1800 for a room and I traveled by train to work which was R 60 per month then (7yrs ago).

My advice to you search around centurion because if you go to Pretoria transport is gonna kill you plus Pretoria is not as classy and upmarket as centurion… if you want peace of mind stay in centurion and walk to work its safe and friendly…