363

363 Days from today I will be a half a century old. I keep looking back at my pictures and thinking “I wish I were as fat as I thought I was then.” I have sooo many thoughts that go through my head. “I should just be happy”, “I can look BAM again”, “You are getting older, getting soft is a fact of life”, “You’re making excuses for not doing the hard work”

And honestly each and every one of those are true to some degree LOL My Facebook friend said it best this weekend: I know I look OK, but I want to be “BAM” again. And to be “BAM” it takes putting in the hard work, and skipping the nightly cocktail. I am doing great with my daily fasting. Not eat from 8:00PM until 4:00PM the next day, only eat between 4-8. I also only drink between 4-8. I think the missing link is the gym.

I KNOW some of my “wheel spinning” is my hubby going back to work. I L O V E D him having the summer off. I LOVED that he was here for me as soon as I finished working so we could get moving on the evening activities. Rarely did we just sit and do nothing after I finished work. We got so many things done this summer. I truly cannot express how grateful and fortunate we were to get him off for two months. And now that he is back to work – he’s not here when I finish working and I can easily lose my motivation waiting for him to come home, and I have for sure spent more days doing nothing since he went back to work.

But last night I went out and grabbed a few things we needed from the store, came home and made tuna salad for his dinner, and then started weeding the new island out front (boy those weeds came fast!). I was still weeding when John got home and needed to go pick up some things for work. So we went to Lowe’s together and when we came home I made my dinner and finally sat down around 7:30.

I need to do one of a few things: get up and go to the gym before work, go at lunch or in the time when I am waiting for him to come home. Lots of open time to go really – no excuses. So right now I am in this place where I’m kind of “holding” to figure out what to do – I hate when I find myself here. Because I can always start something and change it. It does not have to be perfect from the get go. JUST DO IT! And THAT remind me of a motivational video my co-worker always reminds me that I showed him before.

Watch this!

And the JUST DO IT! Stop talking about shit and just do it. John and I are notorious “talkers”. We have things that excite us and things we want to do – but all we do is talk. LOL The things we want to do are new and daring and exciting and also that lends them to be scary, outside our comfort zone, non-boring things. I watched a short clip from the movie UP this morning and it made me cry. That movie always makes me cry. I don’t want to have my dreams stay dreams because I’m too scared to do anything. At what point do you figure out if a dream is going to stay a pipe dream or it is something you can REALLY do with your life? Will doing that “thing” also bring with it a host of regrets as well? Moving south…will I miss to many things in my kids and grand kids lives? Staying here…will I regret not taking the chance to go live a new exciting adventure – at least for a few years to say I did it?

Truly the best movie ever.

ALSO – not only have I sucked at getting my act together as far as the gym – I completely stopped using my Fasciablaster. So things are looking worse than EVER and when I tried to use it on my back the other day it HURT just like when I was first starting out. I need to start making me time again. I love the “US” time we had this summer – but I need to start taking care of me again.

School start Sept 4th, My oldest son and his wife are moving back in October 1st so they can save a down payment for a house (with their two cats – My dogs will hate that LOL) Holidays are right around the corner so many things that could take me off track – but I am hoping that the fact that I am 363 days away from a major life event that I can reach an all time goal.

Thank you all for reading all of my ramblings. Here is my starting point! 363 days are a lot of days and I could easily tell myself I have “lots of time” and then not give this all the appropriate attention and fail…so I must be mindful all the way around 🙂