It’s a government rule so don’t be lippy to the bouncer. Write a letter to your local MP. Ask your politics prof how likely it is to make a difference.

Sitting down.

If there are no empty seats do not, under any circumstances, ask a staff member to get one for you. We cannot create matter with the power of our minds. If we could, we wouldn’t be working at the Ram.

Do not help yourself to patio furniture or bring inside furniture outside. Bars and restaurants have a capacity that we have to follow. This also applies to you RSU members, you self appointed Gods of the SCC.

Eating.

If you are missing something, please let us know. If you didn’t realize that the Supah Burger came with onions, pick them off and learn how to read. It’s a useful skill for all university students to practice.

Drinking.

Don’t overdo it and be responsible.

If we have to clean up your barf, we will hate you. We’re fellow students, not your mom.

Try to come to the bar with a set amount of money to spend and then avoid the cash machine.

Ladies may want to come with a buddy to save each other from the rez-cest walk of shame.

If the bouncer is trying to remove you, know that it’s for your own safety.

Paying and Tipping.

Never eat and run. Your server will get stuck with your bill and Ryerson campus is not that big. If we see you in the hallway, we will embarrass you in front of the girl you’re hitting on by demanding cash. Ram staff are like elephants. We will remember you.

If you can’t afford to tip, you should learn to cook and eat at home. Servers in Ontario make $7.60 an hour. Kids who work at the Gap make $8.75. Why the difference? The government assumes that you will tip us. Do it.

When paying with a One Card please take the card off your lanyard and wrap your signed bill around it. Your whistle, princess sparkle keychain and keys will not fit through the swipe machine.

Last word for underage n00bs.

Technically we have to let you in when you pay tuition, thus we become a target for the dreaded liquor inspectors. If they catch you sneaking a drink from your friend we will be shut down.

It’s happened before. And if it does, you’ll be on academic probation and possibly expelled.

You’ll get to explain to mom and dad why you cost the university thousands of dollars in lost revenue every day. You can also explain to them why you cost 30 students their job for two months and why no other university will ever let you in.

The staff at the Ram appreciate the regulars. They are patient, happy and polite. Sometimes we’re nice and invite them to sweet house parties. Sometimes they find out about them on Facebook and invite themselves.

University should be a blast, and we make that happen by hosting the best parties on campus. When you’re assholes, we’re cranky. Be good.