I overheard a couple of Alt. Right fellas debating the ~ ahem ~ merits of Blonde in the Belly of the Beast in comparison with Lauren Southern. Because I’m a bigoted, low-class, man, I thought I’d weigh in. Both are single (as far as I know), but I understand both are in relationships and about to be off the market. But you know us guys, so, hoist the sails, raise anchor, and we’ll sally forth into shotgun-barreled speculation…

I’ll get right to it and say that, were I to consider either for a wife, I’d be a Lauren fan. The problem with Ms. Beast is a problem that plagues the entire Alt. Right: she’s an insufferable evolutionist. Watch her video on feminism and see for yourself.

Oh, she’s hip. She’s got that cool, quick-witted vibe that makes rare appearances in women; but, she plies it in service of a sick insanity where good in the world is a mere reflection of a mechanistic, impersonal, norm.

Really, Ms. Beast…who the hell wants to live in a universe without fairies or angels? Better to marry one of the sainted “sex-bots” than a cog in an evolutionary machine; they’re equally personal. It’s a flaccid worldview that leads to hypocrisies like: making a video against feminism, rife with profanity and crass bravado.

…if anything will come out of a woman’s mouth, anything will go in…(…just saying…)

I watched her video a second time, and ugh.

Every position she defends must be wrapped in an evolutionary-based theory. Men and women belong together because an impersonal nature magically brought it about after millions of years? We can psychoanalyze the feminists by studying their evolved mating mechanisms…really???

Point 1: this isn’t just Ms. Beast. This is the entire Alt. Right. This is literally all they have to offer. No wonder the whole “movement” dissolved after a few mean insults.

Point 2: this is a terrible argument. Nature magically sent us barreling through the eons butt-naked, yet, today, we walk around quite-unnaturally clothed? Why? Just because something is “natural” doesn’t make it a moral good. We’re not animals, but even if we were, that wouldn’t mean “is’s” are “oughts”.

A handful of Christians still affiliated with the Alt. Right have the same evolutionary worldview, but they try to cover it with limp-wristed drapery…”ugh..ugh..I can’t get Christian covers all the way over the bed…ugh…” You men ought to be ashamed of yourselves (but you wont be. You’ll continue spiraling upwards in the cult, oblivious to the tears of our fathers).

What about Lauren?

Unfortunately, where Ms. Beast is an insufferable evolutionist, Lauren is an insufferable liberal – I’m not sure which I find more annoying. And while I’m sure Lauren is just as much a knee-jerk evolutionist as Ms. Beast, she’s not as overt about it. And she is, at least, nominally Christian. She doesn’t pepper her commentary with profanity either. Granted, she’s one of those dorky girls who’s so pretty her slips are charming rather than off-putting. Blonde has her beat on that point. Also, Ms. Beast is admirably forthright in her rejection of neo-jacobinism, where Lauren prattles about equality.

Still, give me the nominally-Christian woman who’s open to loving old-Europe, rather than the hip modernist who’ll be a neo-pagan till death do us apart…

Not sure if Goldstein is a Jew or a Righty sarcastically larping as one. But when I saw his name, I was immediately reminded of the song parody “The Goys of Summer”…
“Mr. Goldstein, rubbin’ your hands with delight.
You try to make me feel guilty ’cause I’m white.”

Hey Shotgun,
As I am a reactionary on this issue, I generally do not make a practice of viewing videos of women commenting on politics. But after reading this, I watched a few snippets of Blondie and Lauren. The winner? Looks and voice: Blondie. Worldview: Pro-White, but both way too far from me theologically.