Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

What happens when a good friend hurts you? How do you feel? I had to deal with a situation recently where a friend was harsh (from my perspective) and frustrated with me while we worked on a project together. I was so taken back and hurt by her comments. This is a dear friend and yet I wanted to walk away because I didn’t know what to do with my reactions.

Can you remember the last time you were kind to another person? What did you say or do to show your kindness? Did you celebrate a special occasion with them, listen to them, help them with a project or give them a compliment?

Kindness is a great attribute to own and some people naturally express good will to others. Most of us are busy with our lives and kindness never seems to be a top priority. It’s not that we are mean, rather our busyness takes over and we don’t consciously think about showing kindness to another person. We just have too much to do. What if there were benefits to this “kindness” thing.

Do you ever get frustrated, annoyed or angry with another person? Silly question…isn’t it. We all react to people, places or things in our lives that don’t seem to work for us. Some things that bother me:

The bus ride that made me late for a client’s meeting,

having to wait on line,

healthy food is much more expensive than junk food and is rarely on sale,

wet weather that permeates every cell of my body and I just can’t get warm,

I was trying to write a post on another topic while listening to a new CD I purchased by Zade. An impossible task…I must write about what I’m experiencing right now.

I happened upon this wonderful artist by chance on a Public TV station that was showing: “One Night in Jordan…A Concert for Peace.” Was it chance…I’m not a believer of chance, but rather I needed to hear this man’s music.

Zade’s piano playing, as well as his intention behind his music, creates tears in my eyes from the pure enjoyment of emotions filling me when listening to his music.

This past week I’ve spent a lot of time with family. My brother’s wife died at 66. Family came from Maryland and Colorado, as well as within New York. As the family gathered and shared sweet memories of her life, I realized that I’ve neglected to envision how I wanted to be remembered when I die.

Most of us are busy with work, family and all of the daily chores that seem to grab our time leaving us with little room in our day to reflect on our lives. For me this funeral stopped me in my tracks. This person was alive a week ago and is no longer with us. She told her silly jokes and hugged her grandchildren and today she can no longer offer this love.

Don’t we all just love to let others know how we’ve been mistreated. Listen to the conversations around you, as well as your participation, and you will hear many victim stories.

I noticed something about myself last night. I was out to dinner and a friend was sharing how she was the victim in a situation. I react strongly, though not necessarily wisely, when a woman plays the victim. I wasn’t any different last night. Ultimately I felt I had intruded on this person’s right to feel the way she does because of my own internal thoughts.

It’s hard to believe another year is closing. Don’t you find that time seems to be moving by more quickly.

I do love to look back and see how the year evolved. Did I do what I wanted, what did I miss and what surprises surface that I didn’t anticipate? This is the time I go back, start from Jan 1st, and review my date book. It’s fun to step through the year.

I hold the phone far away from my ear, somehow thinking if I do this the other person will know what I’m doing and stop talking. They don’t! Words are flung at me at a rapid pace, drilling down into tiny details, with the compulsive talker unaware of my frustration at the other end. They are comfortable with my slight mumblings or silence.

It’s been a busy holiday season for me. On Tuesday night, I hosted the Hanukkah Hush Hush (our version of Secret Santa) for the family. In the past, we did this gathering at the end of January or beginning of February, but this year four members of the family are further away and are now home for the holidays. My daughter and husband are in North Carolina and my niece and husband are living in Ithaca, NY. We now have a new member of our tribe…Valor, my niece’s son.

I don’t usually embark on the official spring-cleaning effort, but there are times when I have an urge to clean. Lately I’ve been thinking about the clutter in my home, how it is blocking my energy and wellbeing. I believe that things have energy to them and if I’m not interacting in a positive manner with my things, I am creating negative energy.

I decided to create a laundry list of things to go:

get rid of the clothes that were never right, or were right at one time, but no longer fit