Month:
May 2015

My favorite part of marriage is the comfort in knowing that my best friend is with me. Whether we’re on a trip, or out with friends, or at a big show, whatever. If things get a little chaotic — even in life, with huge changes in my job and his job the last year — I can just grab his hand and I feel calm. Every little adventure is a fun one, when we’re together.

I wish we could get married again. I mean, I’m definitely glad we don’t have to do the wedding again. Once is quite enough for all that stress. But I understand myself better than I did a year ago, and I understand him better too. We’ve been forced to be even more honest with each other, sometimes harsher, but more times, kinder, more empathetic. The world is a hostile place, and in the last year I feel like we’ve seen new levels of brutality, so it’s all the more comforting to know that I have Alan on my team. And, maybe this sounds cold or calculated, but since I started making serious bank, I’ve felt that our partnership is pretty much equal. I can finally carry more of the bills. I can pay for my own car repairs. I’m in control of my finances and my career. Becoming more in control of myself as a person and as a woman has allowed me to be a fuller, more complete person capable of being a more complete wife.

On the flip side, I got hit hard with depression during our first year. A lot of this was work related. Sometimes it was Alan related. But it’s also a nonsensical and illogical disorder that doesn’t always need a reason to exist. And Alan, who is a fixer, can’t always fix it. These have caused extremely stressful times. Fighting is the worst thing ever but we both accept that it’s necessary sometimes to see each other more clearly. Sometimes I’m super demanding, and sometimes Alan’s super aloof. Sometimes traveling is a real pain in the ass. Things aren’t always pleasant. Marriage is so much work! It’s the toughest work. But it’s a worthy struggle, and it’s more important than any other job. Knowing I’ve got the best dude at my side makes me incredibly lucky and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I want to keep learning from and teaching each other every day.

Happy Anniversary Alan! My Sun and Stars. I love you to the moon and back!

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It is Friday afternoon, it’s sunny and warm out, and I got out of work early. I grabbed an iced mocha and put on my mix especially for these occasions. Here is my little Memorial Weekend gift to you: Hello Weekend. Preferably this is played in a car with the windows down, and very loud. Also, unlike all my mixes, this one can be played in any order. <<Enjoy.>>

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Ah, stillness. Every day the cat gets fed around 6AM, which is a schedule we inadvertently put her on back when Alan worked a much earlier shift. She starts getting antsy as early as 5, and usually goes about getting food by sitting on our faces, or licking our noses, which is cute until you get a big whiff of cat breath. I was wrapped snuggly tight in my cocoon yesterday when this happened. I decided to not prolong this ritual by meeting her demands. It was about 5:50 and the sun was still really low in the sky. We don’t get a *ton* of natural light, but I like the dimness of the house in the early morning. Now that it’s spring (even though it’s been really chilly), everything is all grown in and GREEN. It makes everything feel just full. These canoe paddles from Sanborn Canoe (in SE Minnesota– bluff country!) are a new addition, a surprise birthday gift from Alan. We’ve talked about getting these for a long time to hang up, even make a day of it down to the shop and sample some local libations as well, but he got impatient. There’s one for each of us, mine is the black & white, natch, which they call “North” (fitting), and Alan’s is “Mackinack“.And, we mounted them to the wall with deluxe leather straps. Sure does make the place feel nice and North-y.

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On Saturday we went to Art A Whirl in Northeast Minneapolis, which I guess a lot of people tend to compare to SXSW these days. Lots of bands and beer and art spread out over several city blocks. It’s a big party. I have nothing against it, but it’s never been a big thing for me. We went out though and happened to run into some good friends almost immediately, who brought us to this rad backyard show, and this local girl group Kitten Forever played out of a garage. They are extremely good. All three ladies rotate so they all sing, all drum, all guitar. Punk rock.This was a pretty low-light situation (and minutes after these guys wrapped, there was torrential downpour). Luckily, the punk-show-out-of-a-garage lends itself well to the low-light, grainy film look. Also, there was ONE guy who tried to mosh.

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It was a sad end to a wonderful chapter in my professional life (heck, personal too) yesterday. Vita.mn went to alt-weekly heaven after the Star Tribune bought City Pages, and well, it doesn’t make sense to own two publications that are essentially fighting for the same market, especially when one makes way more money. So my time there was cut short. I mean, I could see it for months that vita.mn was coming to the end of its rope. But I don’t want to talk about that. I had so much fun working for Vita, alongside some extremely talented people. The best of the best! I had the privilege of Art Directing some really cool issues. I got to design a fake six pack of beer, I got to hang out at The Guthrie for a morning, I got to direct a beer photoshoot at the not-yet-opened Surly Brewery, I got in deep with editorial fashion, I commissioned a hot dog illustration. I can’t believe I really got to do all this ridiculous shit that by no means should be a real job because it was too fun. I did some of my best ever work. Some of it was a pain in the ass, as all jobs are, but I never didn’t just love the hell out of it. I snapped a few photos of the very last day of production (and also, my last day in the Star Tribune offices, as I was offered a job at newly acquired City Pages as its Layout Editor, a lateral move with real opportunity),After it was all finished, we went out for a drink or seven, and burned up the master set of proofs.Rest in Peace, Vita.mn. You were too cool for this world. I’m so lucky that I left a piece of myself with you.