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Tuesday, July 16, 2013

You Give Yourself Away

The song With or Without You has a profound resonance with my soul; it is a song I dedicate to my youngest son who at this very moment is but four days old.

If you are familiar with the song, you might wonder how it could possibly be a song to dedicate to a beloved newborn, and how it relates to my soul. So take the journey with me if you please.

I was in labor, nearing transition-a very painful place when unmedicated. To help soothe me, my husband put on Pandora, to a Dido mix (my zen music) and I tried to focus in on the music. My contractions strengthened quickly. I could tell I was ready to push and the nurses did not believe me so they left to help other patients.

me and my second son, brand-new

U2 came on and I remember the sunlight filtering in, my husband and I talking about how we loved the song, and I began to hum the tune and...I was hit with a contraction so immense that the contraction seismograph went off the chart, literally, knocking the baby heart monitor off (meaning fetal distress) and sending in a crowd of nurses at breakneck speed. Well, this part I do not recall, as I nearly lost consciousness and hollered a devilish roar as I bore down to push. The song continued to play but I could hear nothing but my screams.

A few minutes later, I gave birth to a beautiful boy. With or Without You represents a very immensely painful moment, but a miraculous life-changing moment I will never forget, a blessed moment...words cannot describe it accurately, but it resonates with my soul and makes me break down in tears of joy at even the first few chords. It means so much to me.

Congratulations on your newest little one. He is quite handsome! My doctor was a little surprised when I told him I was going to push with my third. He wasn't quite ready (but I knew I was) and he barely had enough time to make it around to the other side of the bed and catch! Silly doctors...thinking they know everything!

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About Me

True story...in kindergarten, I rolled with a Harley driving biker gang that invaded and made a campground their territory, and I got to wear a pink bandana as my "colors". I was raised by hippy intellectual parents who were artists and watched PBS, leading me to believe a degree in sociology would make millions because there were sociologists on tv...I mean, movie stars are millionaires, right? And in college, I got to hold a real mummy's hand, so goths can suck it cause have they caressed the hand of a n Egyptian mummy, the ultimate dead?
Oh and I am a mom who is kinda "crunchy granola". I bathe, use bottled soap, give my kid soda, and use disposable diapers But yeah...I breastfeed, make my own organic baby food, and drive a freakin subaru.