To be honest, I haven't felt this far from grace for a long time. No, nothing major's happened, but at the same time, the little things pile up to bigger things and I've had difficulties in praying, or even just making myself pray anymore. I don't want to go into detail, but my spiritual life is NOT what it should be and even my mindset for living properly is screwed up. I honestly just want to quit, give up and let the underworld take its condemned child.

That poetic stupidity aside,

I could really use some prayers guys....

"Show me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day." Psalm 25:4-5

"Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted.The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses.Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins.Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred.O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee.Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles." Psalm 25: 16-22

I will definitely be praying for you and your family, and I don't like hearing that you're having a hard time.

Mostly rhetorically because you're not accountable to me or anything, but I ask, when was the last time you had Reconciliation? Or Jesus in the Eucharist? I don't know what your daily life is like, what kind of money you have, if you have a car of your own, etc, but I think if you're having a spiritual crisis then what you need is Confession and Daily Bread. If you have the option, I think you should get to as many weekday Masses as you can. I do not presume to tell you how to live your life, but I've fallen away from the faith a number of times, and the only way back is to seek out God's grace, first and foremost in the priceless treasures he has left us.

In regards to being unable to force yourself to pray, my first piece of advice is exactly the same as the above paragraph. The Mass is the greatest prayer of the Church, the center of her life. And you need Reconciliation at least once a month and probably more frequently than that. To receive these two sacraments more frequently can seem like a burden sometimes. The Devil certainly wants us to think ain't nobody got time for that. But you get more out of anything the more time you invest, and God will certainly not be outdone.

The second piece of advice is the treasury of the Church's formal prayers and devotions. If you have trouble praying each day, then start there: the Divine Mercy chaplet, daily rosary, part of the Divine Office, the Angelus, the litany of the Sacred Heart, a devotion to your favorite or patron saint. I have trouble getting myself to pray each day, and this was the solution I found. The Holy Spirit is with His Church and is with you. If you devote yourself to prayer starting (and persevering) with these formal prayers, then informal, spontaneous ones will flow more naturally. "Resist the Devil and he will take flight. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." -James 4:7b-8a- Pray these prayers, and pray directly to the Holy Spirit asking Him to help you pray (take a look at Romans 8:26). I myself pray the Divine Office as an example. It is another priceless treasure from God. Prayer is God's gift to us, and as today's gospel reading said, "...ask and you will receive..."

If any of this sounds judgemental or something on my part, then it is entirely unintentional. As I've shared before, I've gone through dark times myself. Don't be giving up. Flee to God and rest in Him.

I was at Reconciliation last Saturday, and haven't missed a Sunday Mass in a long time. I've just been so dreadfully lukewarm...

Thank you for the suggestions of prayers and devotions, I should try those out.

"Show me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day." Psalm 25:4-5

"Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted.The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses.Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins.Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred.O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee.Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles." Psalm 25: 16-22

I don't know if it helps or not, but listening to hymns are one of the ways to reach out to God, or to at least, pay attention to Him since He is always watching us to see if we can trust Him enough to hold on to His promises. I'll just give you an abridged scenario of what I went through (and technically still am).

Like, right now, me and my mother have been struggling so much financially and her health isn't the best as she tries her best for me to get exposure, while at the same time, i'm struggling to get a job to provide for her. I can't stand seeing her face so moody, and when she's like that, *I* get like that, knowing her age and condition and all of the bills coming our way and me searching for a job for the last several years and... it's too much. That's when we all have a right, in the natural, to throw in the towel, shake our fist at God, punch a wall, yell, cuss, fight, end up in a hospital and think of the most worst thoughts of our future. And what's more... the enemy is loving EVERY second of our turmoil.

Until I was listening on the radio that's called The Joy FM of the song is called "Thy Will Be Done" by Hillary Scott and "Blessings In Disguise" by Laura Story. As I was listening to the lyrics as carefully as I can... I was bawling like a newborn baby. That wasn't me reaching out to God... it was God reaching out to ME. He grabbed my attention and I didn't realize it.

Although it still didn't turn things around for me at the drop of a hat, that's all the more reason for me to never give up. When every circumstances in this messed up world is screaming at God's people that "It's never gonna work out/you'll never accomplish your goals/you're untalented/you'll never make it to your 30's/you'll always be alone,"

And then... John 16: 32-33 counters back.

32 “A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave Me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for My Father is with Me.

33 “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

That last words is SO powerful that it made me realize that Jesus is FAR much stronger than any of our circumstances, us knowing full well that He went through way worse. And yet, look at where He has gotten to at that point. If death itself could not catch hold of Him, the enemy lost all resolve to defeat Him. So who does the enemy target?

*US*!

That's why I was feeling like crud most of the time! Not only does Jesus know our heart, so does the enemy. Our part as Christ-followers, we have to make it our sword duty to not let the enemy have his day. We didn't come THIS far to lose. Not's not how our destiny is supposed to be.

And when I'm these things to you... i'm telling myself this as well. Maybe we can pray for each other?

"Show me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day." Psalm 25:4-5

"Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted.The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses.Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins.Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred.O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee.Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles." Psalm 25: 16-22