Last weekend we managed to make it out to the Renaissance Fair in Sterling. We stopped and had breakfast in Fair Haven at a cute little cafe/all purpose store. From the outside I thought it was going to be a hardware store with a small cafe, but once inside they had all sorts of cute collectibles, t-shirts, jewelry, knives, etc. At the Fair I watched as my oldest daughter crafted her own costume (from the various vendors at Fair). I was a little disappointed with how few people were there for closing weekend, people I was hoping to run into again. I did however meet face to face a Facebook friend and her little girls.

Sunday was a little more complicated. I was very sore and tired from walking around Fair all day Saturday and I didn’t have the energy to head out to Mendon Park to watch the Horse and Carriage Parade. Instead we lazed around the house and made indoor smores. (The kind where you put the graham crackers and marshmallows in the oven until melty…… It wasn’t quite the same, but it was all I had the energy for.)
The rest of this week has been a blur, once again work got in the way of my plans for life. I don’t know how working moms of small children do it. I feel like I am constantly explaining to my girls that I cannot do this or that because I am worn out from work, or because I cannot get the time off. They are old enough to understand, but it doesn’t make it any easier on me. When my girls were small I stayed home with them. That was the choice my family made. Once they were in school my husband and I swapped roles. He stays home and I work.
This weekend I am helping a friend out with her fundraiser to support Research to find a Cure for Breast Cancer. The Password is Hope – A Breast Cancer Charity Fundraiser is an event put together by Her Rochester blogger Traci Adedeji and it is great fun. If you don’t have plans for Saturday Night we would love to see you there. This is one of those events that I do for myself as a person, not as a mom. I plan to have a ton of fun and help out a good cause and a good friend.
Saturday a couple of my mom friends who I met virtually (and eventually in person) through the D&C’s MomsLikeMe online forum are getting together for a garage sale. I am definitely heading over just to hang out and have a good time. I might take over a few things and put out in the sale, but given that I have the fundraiser that evening I won’t be staying all day, just a few (4 or so hours) to hang out and chat with some good friends.
That leaves Sunday evening to try and hit the Drive-In. I love the drive-in. It brings back such fond memories. Memories of my childhood and a station wagon and then a van. Memories of Star Wars and Indiana Jones. A simpler time, when you paid by the car not the person to get into the movies. When you brought in your own food at no extra charge. Even though I have to pay per person, the cost for the double feature is still less than a movie ticket for a single movie at the indoor theater. I don’t like that I have to pay a $5 fee to bring my own food in. I bring my own food and drink in because I don’t eat or drink the food that is sold in the theater. I would rather have air popped pop-corn with real butter (and no coloring) lightly salted, or better yet a fruit bowl and some water. I’ll have to see what is playing at the drive-in this weekend and decide if we want to go.
I know that school starting isn’t the end of my opportunities to do fun things with my girls, it is just a self-imposed deadline, but still, I want to get more out of my summers. How about you? What didn’t you do this summer that you would like to do?

Summer is Fresh Squeezed Lemon-aid. I have never cared for the powder kind, and occasionally you’ll find me making lemon-aid from the Real Lemon Juice in my fridge, but it isn’t summer for me until I have had a glass of Fresh Squeezed Lemon-aid (usually at one of our local festivals).
The girls and I barely made it to the Lilac Festival this year and we really haven’t had much of a summer. There are only 17 days of summer (not including today) left for me and my girls. I realized while camping for the first time this summer (last weekend) that I haven’t enjoyed or participated in my summer. That thought was quickly replaced with the fact that I haven’t even done my back to school shopping. Granted the girls don’t need that much. They are both pretty set on clothes, and I don’t believe in buying new clothes just for a new school year.

They do both need shoes (ouch that is going to hurt) and they both need minimal school supplies. The majority of our school supplies are provided by the school as part of our tuition, but I do have to go out and get a few items. I am not too worried about that, I’ll fit it in, but I want to squeeze the last drops of summer out of my summer.
This year has been quite hectic. We have been down a person at the office since February and it looks like we finally have that remedied, but my personal and mommy life threw a lot at me as well. I have felt like I have done nothing but tread water and put out fires at work and home for the last six months. Then it hit me, I have to start living in the now. I have no control over the chaos or the problems that will crop up, but I don’t have a lot of now left to live in. Before long my girls will be graduating high school and I’ll be an empty-nester. My girls are going into 7th and 10th grades. As I look back I realized I have put off a lot of time (about 5 years) saying if I just squeeze this in, then next summer I’ll have lots of time to do this. Or if I just do this extra event I’ll have more money to do fun stuff with the kids.
Well I missed out on five years. I have been there, but only peripherally. I have watched the games, and events but my mind has been on other tasks. So for the next 17 days I am going to live in the moment and enjoy my summer. Tomorrow the girls and I are headed to Sterling Renaissance Festival (it’s closing weekend, we almost missed it). Sunday we will be packing a picnic and Frisbee and headed to Mendon Park to watch the Walnut Hill Parade and enjoy our day at the park (with some fresh squeezed lemon-aid). My goal is to do something very summer for the next 17 days.
Evening Bike Rides that end in a picnic
Weekend road trips to various parks in the Finger Lakes Region
At least one more camping weekend
Backyard Fire Pit with S’mores (or just a fire and sitting out late)
A trip to the Conservatory to see the summer display
I’ll let you know how the rest of my summer is going.
Any suggestions for some last minute, local, summer time fun?

I have never put much stock into a beauty routine. I was the quintessential tomboy. I was happy to play in the mud, build with blocks and race my Tonkas. My sisters used to fight over who got to be the princess and I was happy to always be Solo.

Both of my sisters wore a lot of makeup, did their hair (the big 80′s way) and spent what I thought was way to much time picking outfits and looking in mirrors. They would tell me that one day I would notice boys and then I would care what I looked like. I did not get into makeup in middle school and it didn’t change when I entered high school. For a very brief period of time, when I was taking a photography class and we had to do self-portraits, I decided to curl my hair. It took 3 and 1/2 hours, 2 cans of hairspray (ozone I am SO SORRY) and lasted for all of 30 minutes. Made for some stunning self portraits, but it didn’t really look like me.

Now that is not to say I didn’t put thought or effort into my appearance. I spent time (5 minutes or so) picking out outfits, but comfort was always more important that appearance. I have very large, very wide feet with a super high arch. So the most comfortable shoes for me are sneakers. When I can’t wear sneakers I love flats. I have tried to like heels. I have tried wedges, I have tried wide heels, kitten heels and high heels. I have tried rounded toes, box toes and pointed toes. They just aren’t comfortable. I have in history found heels that I LOVE and are comfortable and I love the way they make my legs look (and I will wear them until the heel caps come off). The next time I find a pair of heels like that I will buy 10 pair so I can wear them forever. I haven’t found that pair of heels in probably 8 years or so, but I can hold out hope.

Now I often notice women who have put themselves together and I think to myself if I just put a little more effort into my style I would be happier with my appearance. The reality is I don’t like the way I look. I love my hair (90% of the time). My skin is mostly clear (a few break outs at that time of the month) but overall pretty good skin. I have laugh lines and wrinkles in my forehead from squinting. I don’t worry about the white hairs. I have quite a few long, white, wirey hairs and they don’t bother me one bit.

I used to add highlights to my hair, I gave it up after I became a mom. Part of it was financial. I just couldn’t justify spending $120 on myself when I had little ones to take care of. This past year I had more manicures and pedicures than I have had in my whole life. I enjoyed the me time, but more importantly the girlfriend time.
I often asked myself as mom in the brief periods of time that I wear makeup (very little of it) or when styling my hair, or threading if I am sending the wrong message to my girls. I know there is a difference between taking care of myself and teaching my girls to take care of themselves and being vain. I certainly don’t want my girls to be vain. What concerned me more was what if I was teaching them that being who they are wasn’t good enough.

I have to start with a confession, of late I have become a hypocrite. I was always one of those moms that questioned some of the choices (I won’t say judged because I don’t like the light that casts me in) regarding raising their children. This past fall when my oldest daughter started High School and my dear friend was getting married, between Sports Practice, Games, Play Practice, The Play, Martial Arts and Wedding related events I found myself grossly unprepared. It is a good thing I was never a Girl Scout (only a Leader) lest I be stripped of my World Trefoil Pin and sent away in shame.
I found myself on many and more occasions wondering what was for dinner and fast. Like many before me I turned to fast food. First it was just once in a while, then it became weekly and at the end (sad to say) it was more than even weekly. More often than not I found myself waiting in line for my quick fix meal that would get me through this day and I promised to plan better for the next week.
Trouble is those quick meals were not fast, not cheap and not satisfying. I could give you some examples where a family of four orders from the famed good price menu and gets the side salad but I’ll spare you that fantasy and instead get down to reality.
If we are talking pre-cooked, kept hot in warmer chain restaurants we are talking $25+ for my family of four without beverages. We would typically visit the Golden Arches (because it is the closest). A typical order for my family of four (including a teenage athlete) consisted of: 2 good price menu chicken sandwiches and a good price double cheeseburger with an order of Large French Fries for the man; GP chicken sandwich and GP double cheeseburger (or substitute a 10 piece nugget) with medium fries for the Athlete; 10 piece nugget and med fries for the tween; and a double burger and GP chicken sandwich and med fries for the mom.
The value is not really there, we have so many other options. I used the excuse of convenience. Sure I could have made something (but that would require planning ahead as we do not stock many convenience foods and even less canned foods) but this FAST FOOD was going to be FAST right? It didn’t seem to matter what location on our way to/from some place we tried. It would take 10-20 minutes to get our food, and we still had to drive home and eat it.

Better options exist. Better options for the money, better options for the time and better options for the taste.

First and foremost is the Grocery Store Rotisserie Chicken. These can be purchased hot and ready for approximately $6 in a variety of flavors. Head to the produce section and pick up a $3 bag salad kit and the freezer section for a $3 bag of fries. Twenty minutes after you get home you have a quality meal for your family for about $10. A rotisserie chicken will feed my family of 4 at least twice. Once just carving off the bird, the meat scraps and bones to make stock (for many meals) and the left over meat for a casserole or nacho meal. There are endless possibilities. If your family isn’t a salad eater you could grab any number of frozen (or fresh veg) to add to it and even toss in some fresh fruit (apples, pears, berries) and you have a sweet ending for less than a run through the drive through. Sure it might take a little bit longer. I think heading to the store, grabbing your items and checking out (if you don’t wander and linger) is probably about even with the fast food wait. In my case the drive time is about the same. It means hanging a left out of work instead of a right. This might not be the option if you are on the run to somewhere and not just headed home not knowing what is for dinner.

The next reason beyond it being supposedly fast is that Fast Food is usually portable and that means it can be eaten on the run.

If you have lived in Rochester all your life or for any length of time you may not realize how lucky you are to have a store set up like Wegmans. Again you can run into Wegmans and select any number of pre-made and ready to go salads and wraps for slightly more than you pay at the drive through, but for food you can feel good about eating and feeding you kids.

Wegmans also has variety of hot bars, but when you compare the cost of food by the pound, the cheapskate in me cannot enjoy the hot food ready to go. I would rather call my favorite restaurant and ask them to prepare a to-go meal for me. Getting take out from a restaurant is also a fast option and depending on the meal not much more expensive than Wegmans hot bars. You can call ahead and have your order hot and ready for pick up.

Wegmans also has those great $6, $8, $10 meals that you can take home and heat up. If you do the math, if I am paying $25 (or more for my family of four) I am paying about $6 a meal and I would be willing to be the $6 meals are better than anything I get at the drive through.

That brings me to the last reason people resort to fast food, the perceived value. Most people think fast food is inexpensive. It really isn’t. Now if you order entirely from the great price menu it can seem inexpensive, but the reality is that it is cheap and not all that satisfying. Going back to the $6 meal you get a sizeable main portion and 2 sides. If we apply that philosophy to the right price menu and get a Chicken Sandwhich or a Double Cheeseburger and a right price fry and a value salad, one might for $3 get enough food to be satisfied, but really can you tell me that a right price chicken sandwich compares to a $6 meal Chicken French?

Still there are times when the drive through is the only option, you know what they say… “The best laid plans of mice and men…” When the drive through is the only option how to maximize your Fast Food Meal so you get a good meal, and don’t feel so bad afterwards? Simple most right price menus have a side salad on them (no cheese and no croutons) you can ask to add a piece of grilled chicken (usually for about a dollar) and have a decent grilled chicken salad with the dressing of your choice. Add to that your right price fry and you should be all set.

You may have heard a certain Fast Food Chain is making healthier meals for kids by including both fruit and fries (where you previously had to choose one or the other). The Fries are much smaller, which is not entirely bad. Sure this is a “healthier” meal, but the reality is it is not at all healthy. It is fine on occasion even as a treat (but can’t we find better treats for our kids?) but it is not a balanced healthy meal.

So the next time you find yourself pressed for time and wondering what is for dinner, I challenge you to come up with a fast food option that isn’t Fast Food Chain.

I have heard many people state they will not make a New Year’s Resolution(s) because by the time February roles around they have already been forgotten. Even if you have forgotten your resolutions be February, I would argue that they are good for you and good for the kiddos, regardless of age.

A New Year’s Resolution is a goal. If you look at it as a goal, and treat it like a goal, then this could be the year you achieve your New Year’s Resolutions. If your goal was to become the best soccer player in the world, you would have to work toward that daily to achieve it, and even if you worked diligently and daily you might not achieve your goal.

The first step is to set your goals (resolutions). Pick your New Year’s Resolutions, and let your kids pick theirs. Don’t be tempted to guide your kids to a New Year’s Resolution that you want for them or that you think they can achieve. You and your kids are more like to stick to a resolution (and do the work required to achieve it) if it is something that you want to do. If their Resolution seems to big to reach in a year, ask them what steps they think they will need to take to reach that goal, and how long they think it might take them to reach their goal.

The next step is to break down your big goals into smaller more achievable steps. Try to think of one thing a week that you can do to move toward your goal. These smaller weakly goals should be easily achievable. While having a goal (Resolution) that you work toward all year can teach delayed gratification, I believe it is better to have regular rewards built in to smaller achievements. If you reach your first month of weekly steps then reward yourself (something in the Spirit of your Resolution).

Now it is time to write it all out. Write the year, the Resolution(s) and the weekly steps toward that resolution. Some people like to make collages to go with their Resolutions. However you map out your Resolution make sure it is posted where you will see it daily. I know that some people might be tempted to make it a screen saver or a document on their computer or smart phone, but it also needs to be physical and some place that you can see it daily. Next to the bathroom mirror, on the kitchen fridge or the wall you face when you get out of bed.

A fun thing for all ages would be to write out the 52 steps that you are going to take toward achieving your goal on strips of paper and put them in the 2013 jar, that is assuming they do not require a specific order. The outside of the jar could be decorated with pictures of what the goal means to them and their name. Then at the beginning of the week you pick a strip and work on that step.

If you have an old board game you could use it as a fun device for your New Years Resolution. If the game board has 52 spaces (or more) you could use that to determine what steps are taken day to day, and move your piece (cut out your face from a picture and put it on the game piece). Again this would be a fun visual to help keep you on track.

Coming back to your Resolution at least once per month and checking off the strides you have made to that end can help keep you on track. If you need further motivation, do it for your kids. Children need to learn to set a goal and continue to work to achieve it, even when it isn’t easy. Then on December 31, 2013 look back at your year and see what you have accomplished. If you or your child did not reach their stated goal, talk about it and try to let them figure out why they or you didn’t quite reach their goal. It is a good lesson in achieving a goal, but can also be a good lesson in how failing to meet a goal helps us grow.

“Mom what would you say if I said I did not want to go to college?” asked my oldest daughter. I looked at her and for a moment my brain was racing in a million different directions. I saw the anticipation in her eyes and even the tears starting to well up. It only took a heartbeat for me to realize the answer “If that is what you want to do, I will support you, but I have some questions that I think you should be able to answer.”

14 years ago I had plans for this baby of mine. She was a life changer. I wanted her to have a better life than I had. Isn’t that what all parents want for their children? At the time I thought a better life meant less struggle. I had a good life, times were rough and going to college for me meant that I had to work from age 12 on. I saved and worked hard to pay for a car and college. I worked hard to make sure I qualified for scholarships and financial aid. My parents had planned to help all three of us girls with college, but when the time came there had been financial set backs. I choose my college based on the financial aid package I received. I don’t regret it, but I wanted my girls to have more options.
I encouraged them to work hard and get good grades to have the most opportunities in life. My husband and I have given up many things to give them an outstanding private education. My mother in law has contributed to that education. At first it was like she was spitting in my face, but then I realized those were my plans, and my dreams. And MORE IMPORTANTLY, I raised her to be a self thinker. To make her own decisions.
All of this happened in the blink of an eye before I responded. And I ruminated on it more after we talked.
I asked her why she did not want to go to college. Her answer was reasonable. For starters she does not know what she wants to do. She has bounced around on career thoughts since she was young. At one point she wanted to be a fashion designer, at another a Marine Biologist, a chef, a restaurant owner, a guild craftswoman, something to do with Physics, a psychologist, a criminal profiler and even a traveling hobo.

Once upon a time undergraduate studies were a chance to decide what you wanted to do in life. These days even community colleges come with a hefty price tag. Much like the rest of our academic program college has been pushed forward so that coming into college you really need to know what you are doing so you can jump right in. It is not enough to have a college degree, these days you also need experience which means intern and externships from sophomore year on.

The second part of her answer speaks to my soul. She is an artist at heart. She has been in Rochester her whole life and she would like to travel the world and see what it has to offer. She doesn’t want to feel tied down to any one area, she wants to drift in the wind.

Currently she calls this her Traveling Hobo path. She wants to walk across the county with a friend and see what there is to see. She understands that it won’t be easy. She knows that society will react negatively to her. She is prepared to take odd jobs along the way.

She is also just entering her Freshman year in high school. She has 4 years to change her mind, but even if she stays the course, who knows what a year on the road will bring. She may decide after three months the glamour has worn off or she may just find that place that she fits in.

The hardest part for me to reconcile is that she is a smart child. She gets good grades with minimal effort. What I have to remember and constantly remind myself is her mental potential is not the sum of who she is. She has agreed to continue to do well in High School so that the college door is open to her if she changes her mind, but she knows that even she does not change her mind I am in her corner.

Apparently, I was on fast forward last week. I incorrectly stated that last weeks movie at Charlotte Beach was Super 8, it was Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol. Tonight’s movie is Super 8. We will revamp last weeks plan and see if we can fit it to this week, although the threatening storm may change our plans again.

After work the girls and I will head to the DOJO for a butt kicking workout (literally) and then we shall head over to Charlotte Beach. I would love to do California Rollin again tonight, but it just isn’t in this weeks budget, so instead we shall bring meatless (and soy free) taco salads with us for a picnic dinner, some homemade kettle corn and purchase 3 pints of Abbott’s ice cream for $10!

Meatless Taco salads are super simple. Instead of cooking ground beef, I cook lentils and then add taco seasoning. Homemade taco seasoning is: Garlic, Cumin (adds the smokey flavor) and chili powder. Add some heat with Chipolte if you like. I cook my lentils in a covered pan until tender, with a can of tomatoes (or fresh if I have them) and my taco seasoning blend. I drain my lentils if there is too much liquid (and then thicken the liquid for a taco sauce). Add to a bed of lettuce with tomatoes, and whatever veggies you like. If you are not a fan of lentils you could substitute chopped cauliflower roasted in the oven with olive oil and the taco seasonings. Makes for a nice change of pace.

You can make kettle-corn at home! Either with an air popper, microwave popcorn or stove top. An air popper is pretty simple (and my choice method), however if you are a microwave popcorn kind of person you can either purchase kettle-corn packs or you can add 1TBS of sugar to your hot popcorn and shake about. On the stove top heat your oil and kernels in a covered pan. Swirl around on the stove with the cover on. Once your popcorn is popped you simply add Sugar to your hot butter, stir and add to your popcorn. Adjust the amount of sugar until it is the way you like it.

On Tuesday the girls and I headed out to Charlotte Beach for Super 8. We enjoyed a nice picnic dinner from California Rollin2 and dessert from Abbotts. However right after I got the ice cream it began to sort of rain. It would sprinkle, then pour for less than a minute and then stop.

The movie stayed on, but we didn’t feel like sitting in the rain to possibly miss the end of the movie. We enjoyed our ice cream in the car while the rain fell and then went home. The movies will play unless it is really raining. They will wait out any sprinkles, but that means that a movie might end in the middle or with 15 minutes to go.
Tonight’s movie is The Artist (PG -13). My youngest is spending the night at Gramma’s. Lu, my niece, and myself will have a nice relaxed evening hanging, chilling and bonding. We will head out to the park after Lu and I finish at the Dojo. I’ll need grab dinner on the way which probably means sushi and snacks from Wegmans. In a simpler slow paced life I used to pack a meal and snacks, but lately that just hasn’t been in the cards.

How do you stay cool in the summer? We live without air conditioning, so days like today can be brutal. Tonight after work, the girls and I will head over to Charlotte Beach for the Movies at the Beach Series. I am hoping that there is a nice breeze, and that is it cooler down by the water. If we get there early enough and the beach is open maybe they will get a brief swim in.

Tonight’s movie is SUPER 8 and is rated PG-13 (112mins). My girls are older and I know my teen will enjoy this one, not sure about my tween.

With this heat we will probably grab dinner at California Rollin2 and dessert from Abbotts. We will bring plenty of water and maybe a spray bottle for misting.
What are your plans to stay cool?

Movies in the Bowl, open tonight. The girls and I have been going for the last two years, believe it or not I didn’t know it existed before that.

Tonight’s movie is HUGO, a live action film that we saw in the dollar theater. Tonight we will head out after dojo, with a picnic blanket, a lite no cook dinner and cool off in the bowl. I have found that no matter how hot the day is, we are always cooler in the bowl (even needing to cuddle up with blankets).
The movie starts at Dusk. People start arriving around 7pm and the best seats are usually gone by 8.

One thing to keep in mind, please do not park illegally. When cars park illegally it can clog the street so emergency vehicles cannot get through. Or just create a nightmare for residents trying to get into or out of their driveways.

Contributors

For more than two decades, Kristine Bruneau has made a career from writing and marketing communications, working for ad agencies, nonprofits, and small businesses. Her commentaries, stories, and reviews have appeared in a variety of publications, including Rochester Magazine and Rochester Woman Magazine. She posts regularly to her Mommy Musings blog at kristinebruneau.com where she explores lessons learned from her son on motherhood, love, and life. Kris is currently working on a book inspired by these lessons and their resulting conundrums. She loves comments and feedback, so send her a note at kristinebruneau@me.com.

is an award-winning communications professional with 25 years experience working in journalism and public relations and with social media. She is also a comedian and has learned that weaving humor into all situations makes communication and life more enjoyable for all involved. She is an adjunct college professor and recently started her own company, Dresden Public Relations, to enable her to be a more-present mom for her two young daughters. One is adopted, one has cerebral palsy, both are beautiful and extraordinary, and life at her house is a fabulous adventure.

Claire Goverts is a working mom to a curious toddler girl on the go. A Buffalo to Rochester transplant, Claire enjoys exploring more of the area, which suits toddler fine. The zoo is a current favorite. She enjoys trying new things with daughter, including crafting ‘new’ play items. Such as coffee can turned drum, container, and mirror. She also shares a love of nature and the outdoors with her daughter.

And in her spare time Claire enjoys creative pursuits. Be in drawing, photography, jewelry making, and of course writing. She would like to publish novels one day, and has several National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) wins under her belt.

Tree Marino is a 30-something mother of tween/teen daughters. She works full time, while her husband stays home with the girls. This was not always the case. When the girls were younger she was a stay-at-home mom (who rarely stayed at home). Tree works toward making her family more green without ruffling to many feathers (inside the family and out). You might find her planning a casual event for her daughters' school or running her small business.

is a busy single mom of two busy boys from Brockport - Brice, 7, and Brady Patrick, 4. A graduate of the University of Rochester, she writes freelance articles and The Brockport Blog for The Democrat and Chronicle. She is also a contributing writer to Rochester Woman Magazine and a former reporter for Messenger Post Newspapers. Caurie enjoys being a hockey mom, photography, swimming, and life guarding at the YMCA. Look to her Mom Blog for pieces on parenting a child with special needs and parenting as a single mom. You can reach her at www.caurie.com or caurie@urgrad.rochester.edu

Debra Ross is publisher of KidsOutAndAbout.com, an online resource for parents who want to know about the cultural, educational, and recreational opportunities for kids in their local area.

She is a weekly guest on two morning radio shows in Rochester, WARM 101.3 and Fickle 93.3 and also appears often on local television. She and her husband, David Ross, a professor at RIT, home school their daughters Madison, 13, and Ella, 11. They live in Brighton.