Back when DH was BF, I had my best friend and her SO over (don't remember if they were just dating or engaged by then)

Anyway, I had really good hearing and was rather squicked out by them being all over each other while we were trying to visit with them. I could hear her whispering highly inappropriate things to him. (inappropriate for me to hear anyway. I'm pretty sure she didn't realize I could hear it and I was too embarrassed to say anything)

Well their game of touchy-feely kept progressing until she asked me to borrow my Mother and Dad's bed! (I still lived at home and parents were out of town)

I had no spine at the time and let them use the bed, while BF and I went to my room since it was on the opposite end of the house. I could hear WAY more than I wanted, even then, so we left and got some ice cream.

Put a sign on the bedroom door to keep my brother from walking in on them if he came home before I got back. Didn't invite them over again but we are still friends.

Got to here and realized I had nearly the same thing happen to -- well, near -- me once. I was visiting my old college shortly after I graduated, and visiting with one of my friends (J) one Saturday night -- there was another sophomore (N) in the dorm room, and a prospective student.

It was a four-way conversation, but soon N and the prospective began flirting as though J and I weren't in the room -- and then doing more than flirting -- and then lying down and beginning to do other things entirely, which involved the removal of their clothes.

I was stunned -- this was a college dorm room, after all, maybe 100 square feet all told, and it;s not like it wasn't obvious J and I were still in the room. J herself, being a bit faster on her feet than I was, grabbed my shoulder and pulled me out of the room, fast enough that she didn't even have time to grab her shoes.

J and I ran across N and the prospective the next morning. N didn't want to talk. The prosepctive was grinning and unapologetic.

J kept talking to N, if i recall, but he was never allowed in her dorm room again.

Rob

Logged

"In all of mankind's history, there has never been more damage done than by someone who 'thought they were doing the right thing'." -- Lucy, Peanuts

siamesecat's story reminded me of one. Waaaay back in my uni days two friends and I were renting a house together. Since it was so convenient to town often friends would crash in our lounge room if they couldn't get home safely. We had no problem with this - the more the merrier!

Until the night that one friend bought a partner home with him. To our lounge room. The lounge room through which we had to pass to get ANYWHERE in the house (including the bathroom and kitchen) from our bedrooms. So we were essentially trapped in our rooms unless we wanted to see something we didn't want to see. One of my friends was eventually desperate enough to go to the bathroom that he *ran* through the lounge room, averting his gaze and mentally going "Lalalala". He heard enough to confirm our suspicions though. Mind you, this was the next morning so they didn't even have alcohol as an excuse. Yeah, he didn't stay at our house after that.

Of course these days I'd be more likely to just interrupt and kick them out but we were fresh out of high school and all raised in fairly conservative families so we had no clue what we could do.

I have to admit I wasn't this "polite" when my housemates and I ran into this problem.

Three females and I (all college students at the time) shared a house. Three of us each had a bedroom in the house and the fourth, whose parents owned the house, had the guesthouse in the backyard. We had a party, and one of our guests (who was also a friend and fellow college classmate) wanted to be alone with his girlfriend in one of our bedrooms as they both still lived at home (we were all either adult teens or in our early twenties at the time). I said no (I recall my answer being something like, "If anyone is going to be intimate in my bedroom, it's going to be ME so, sorry, but NO." I told him he could try asking the others and didn't think anything of it until near the end of the party.

I was too drunk to drive and some of our guests needed a ride home. GuesthouseHousemate said she was fine and would give everyone a ride; she just needed to retrieve her keys from her room so she went out to the guesthouse to do this. A couple of minutes later, she comes rushing back into the house.

GH -- "David and Donna are in my room making out!"Me -- "Oh, you actually told David he could use your room? The rest of us all told him no."GH -- "NO! David said he needed to talk to Donna alone and asked if he could use my room for privacy so I said yes."Me -- "Yeah, David was lying. David asked each of us if he could use our bedrooms to play scrabble with Donna, and we all said no."GH -- "Well, my keys are in there, and I can't get them."Me -- "I'll get them. I don't care; we need to get these people home. Where are your keys?"GH -- "They're on my dresser."

I went out to the guesthouse and could immediately see what was going on through the door (it was a glass-paneled door with sheer fabric over the glass so you could see in easily when the light was on in there). While David and Donna had not quite reached the full-on scrabble stage (they were fully dressed), they were lying on GH's bed and kissing pretty intensely -- David's hand was clearly somewhere I didn't need to see. Now, keep in mind, I was really drunk so, if sober, I might've not been so "brave." I actually didn't pause once I reached the door. I saw what was going on the moment before I charged in. I averted my gaze, said "excuse me," grabbed the keys and turned around leaving immediately. I went straight back to the house and handed GH her keys. Everyone asked me if David and Donna had stopped, and I said, "Oh, no; they were still fooling around." Right after that sentence came out of my mouth, the sliding door to the backyard swung open and Donna came charging through the house, through the room without a word to us and out the front door. Her face was stormy, and she didn't look at any of us. David was a few steps behind her and didn't say anything to us as he followed her out the door. We all just looked at each other and started laughing. I think I just shrugged and said, "Well, they never had permission to be making out in anyone's bedroom; if they want privacy, they can make out in his car."

I don't think we ever saw her in our house again. David definitely didn't try to use one our bedrooms again as his scrabble arena. I talked to him about it later because I was wondering if she were angry given the stormy look on her face (not that I cared; I was just curious). David said Donna was angry at HIM but, otherwise, extremely embarrassed and wanted to leave the house ASAP (I told him she should've been as he had lied to GH in order to use her bedroom). David, oddly, wasn't mad at me (again, not that I cared as he lied to get what he had wanted). That was 18.5 years ago (and I'm FB friends with David so, no, I don't think he ever held it against me as we were always just fine after that).

I've only had one guest since living by myself without roommates, and thankfully the only annoyance was that he didn't put the toilet seat down (I'm female, so that would have been nice...) I have a few stories from when I had roommates, all minor in comparison to things you guys have posted.

1) The guest who would not leave. After following me home from a club we were both in, it took forever for me to convince a new acquaintance to leave so that I could work on my homework/ study for exams. I think it ended up being a couple of hours because I had no (polite) spine.

2) The complainer. I had three roommates and one of them and her boyfriend were quite messy. One guest came over unannounced (mutual friend) and proceeded to complain loudly about the state of our living room, which honestly wasn't that bad at the time. He also looked pointedly at me while complaining, stating that girls' apartments should be cleaner. I gave him a firm talking to about how I had three roommates and did he think I was supposed to clean up after others' messes all the time? Also, it shouldn't matter whether the apartment belongs to boys or girls.

3) Relative complainers. The year before, the three of us cleaned up really well for a fourth roommate's relatives to sleep over. They apparently complained behind our backs because it wasn't spotless. When the three of us were annoyed, 4th roommate defended the comments by saying, ''We're German!'' Still not appreciated. For a two-bedroom apartment occupied by 4 extremely busy university students, it looked pretty darn good!

Wow! I would have been tempted to tell 4th roommate that as they were his/her parents / guests it was his/her responsibility to make sure that the place was tidied to his/her standards.

(It may be, of course, that the parents were critical of their own child, and never expected or intended the comments to be passed on, so it seems to me that it was the room mate, not the guests, who were rude)

Germans being neat freaks isn't a cliche for nothing. My mother would have pulled the White Glove Inspection routine with me if she didn't balk at the stairs necessary to get to my pad. However, that does not excuse the rudeness of criticizing a place not sterile as an operating room.

I'm proud to say that my MIL actually called her sister (Cousin's mum) and asked her what the hell her daughter was thinking when she did that. I didn't ask her to, in fact it was DH who told her the story in the first place, but I did get a lovely phone call from DH's aunty apologising for her daughters' behaviour. Aunty is welcome at our house. Cousin is NOT.

Why did your MIL call her sister/cousin's mother? Cousin's old enough to be accountable for get actions - why didn't they call her directly?

Germans being neat freaks isn't a cliche for nothing. My mother would have pulled the White Glove Inspection routine with me if she didn't balk at the stairs necessary to get to my pad. However, that does not excuse the rudeness of criticizing a place not sterile as an operating room.

I've heard the cliche that Dutch folks are clean freaks but I hadn't heard that about German folks. Certainly explains a lot of my mother's tendancies and why she was always after me to make my bed and tidy my room. Also explains why I feel such anxiety about the state of my house but I don't have the energy to clean it. I'm working on decluttering so I can hire someone to clean regularly.

Reminds me of when I was looking for my first apartment. My parents were with me and we went into one place. The landlord complained about the previous tenant blocking off the door to the landloard's portion of the house (it was a basement apartment). There were all these rules and it seemed like the landlord would be in the place without notice, giving it the white glove treatment. I would have been expected to look after her dogs when she was away but I couldn't have a cat. No wonder the previous tenant blocked off the door! When we got out to the car, my Dad asked me what I thought of the place with a bit of a smirk in his voice. I looked at my Mom and said, 'It'd be worse than living at home.' They both burst out laughing.

Logged

After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice: If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.

My ex-MIL is German, and I can vouch for her house being spotless. In fact, that's one reason my now ex-husband gave for wanting a divorce - "Your apartment is so messy. My mom would never allow a mess like that." Good riddance!

Speaking of bad roommates - my current husband used to be roommates with his sister. Sister got a boyfriend, and Boyfriend started hanging around all the time. He watched their TV, ate their food, slept over, the whole bit - without paying a dime in rent. He also made my husband feel uncomfortable and like a fifth wheel in his own apartment - not cool.

The last straw was when Boyfriend brought his Playstation over. My husband was delighted when he saw it - he'd always wanted to play one (he was only in his early 20's at the time), and here was his chance. Boyfriend wasn't home at the time to ask if it was okay, but Husband was sure he wouldn't mind - after all, Boyfriend was always helping himself to THEIR stuff without permission. Well - Husband was just in the middle of a game when Boyfriend arrived, and all heck broke loose. He wrenched the controller out of Husband's hands and told him to NEVER TOUCH MY STUFF AGAIN OR I'LL KILL YOU. Sister was no help - she just flapped her hands helplessly and asked Husband not to get upset.

Husband moved out the next day, leaving her on the lurch rent-wise, but she'd made her choice.

Honestly, there is as much of a range in Germany when it comes to neatness as anywhere. I'm middling tidy (frankly, I think there's been few people who on their deathbeds looked up to the heavens and said "I wish I tidied up more"), my one sister is quite messy by nature and only tidied up her act because she married a man with asperger's and a bit of ocd, my other sister isn't much better. I think it's just an easy out for German neat-freaks to blame it on their Germanness. The others don't mention it :-P.

I certainly have never heard of anyone giving a white-glove inspection to any place. Saying that, my dad can be a bit annoying about stupid things (like making remarks about my basement looking like "a robber's cave") when it comes to tidiness, but I told him that it's none of his business how I keep my house. Politely.

I may have told this story before, but I remember having my parents stay with us for a week after my first child was born. My mother asked if she could invite a friend over, and I said "Sure." Mum said reassuringly "Don't worry about the place looking so messy. I explained to my friend that you can't be expected to keep a tidy house when you've just had a baby."

Thing is, I'm sure she was trying to be nice - but all she did was hurt my feelings terribly, because I had been trying to keep a tidy(ish) house - all while sleep-deprived and worrying myself sick about whether or not the baby was doing well. I didn't have dirty dishes anywhere, nor was there laundry piled up on the chairs - but the fact that it wouldn't have passed the white-glove test translated to "messy" in Mum's mind. Sigh.

I may have told this story before, but I remember having my parents stay with us for a week after my first child was born. My mother asked if she could invite a friend over, and I said "Sure." Mum said reassuringly "Don't worry about the place looking so messy. I explained to my friend that you can't be expected to keep a tidy house when you've just had a baby."

Thing is, I'm sure she was trying to be nice - but all she did was hurt my feelings terribly, because I had been trying to keep a tidy(ish) house - all while sleep-deprived and worrying myself sick about whether or not the baby was doing well. I didn't have dirty dishes anywhere, nor was there laundry piled up on the chairs - but the fact that it wouldn't have passed the white-glove test translated to "messy" in Mum's mine. Sigh.

There must be a term for this. It's like an unintentional back-handed compliment. I've had so many of these, there simply needs to be a word for it.

I may have told this story before, but I remember having my parents stay with us for a week after my first child was born. My mother asked if she could invite a friend over, and I said "Sure." Mum said reassuringly "Don't worry about the place looking so messy. I explained to my friend that you can't be expected to keep a tidy house when you've just had a baby."

Thing is, I'm sure she was trying to be nice - but all she did was hurt my feelings terribly, because I had been trying to keep a tidy(ish) house - all while sleep-deprived and worrying myself sick about whether or not the baby was doing well. I didn't have dirty dishes anywhere, nor was there laundry piled up on the chairs - but the fact that it wouldn't have passed the white-glove test translated to "messy" in Mum's mine. Sigh.

There must be a term for this. It's like an unintentional back-handed compliment. I've had so many of these, there simply needs to be a word for it.

In the Bridget Jones's Diary books they call them jellyfish. I've always thought it was a great term for an unexpected sting.

Honestly, there is as much of a range in Germany when it comes to neatness as anywhere. ly.

That may be true indoors, but it DID strike me (and the family members traveling with me) that Germany was exceptionally neat. Not only did we not see litter, we didn't see junk piled around houses or garages, and nearly every house had brilliantly colored flowers in pots or gardens. We wondered if maybe our German relatives were setting us up, until one day we wandered off the beaten path, and yes, everything was as postcard-perfect in those towns. The only time we saw shabby was the day we crossed into the former East Germany. But I suppose if your family has been living in this town since the Middle Ages, you feel some obligation to keep up standards for the neighbors.

I may have told this story before, but I remember having my parents stay with us for a week after my first child was born. My mother asked if she could invite a friend over, and I said "Sure." Mum said reassuringly "Don't worry about the place looking so messy. I explained to my friend that you can't be expected to keep a tidy house when you've just had a baby."

Thing is, I'm sure she was trying to be nice - but all she did was hurt my feelings terribly, because I had been trying to keep a tidy(ish) house - all while sleep-deprived and worrying myself sick about whether or not the baby was doing well. I didn't have dirty dishes anywhere, nor was there laundry piled up on the chairs - but the fact that it wouldn't have passed the white-glove test translated to "messy" in Mum's mine. Sigh.

There must be a term for this. It's like an unintentional back-handed compliment. I've had so many of these, there simply needs to be a word for it.

In the Bridget Jones's Diary books they call them jellyfish. I've always thought it was a great term for an unexpected sting.