Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

God, you fill in all spaces and abide in all times, and yet today, once space will feel every kind of void.

Dad’s seat.

There will be feelings and memories and all sorts of things we want to pile onto that seat. We will fill that chair with tears and sighs and our still-stunned hearts.

How could we be here today, God? No. This can’t be…

(There is no other way around it: today will suck.)

But even as our hearts are breaking throughout the day, help us to fill Dad’s plate with delicious memories. May our time together today be one where we embed the joyful Thanksgiving moments of the past into our souls, recalling moments of laughter and creating new mirthful memories.

God of all links, all vines, all connections-
In this season of festivities and meals,
As we stand deep in memories and nostalgia,
We come to you with our hearts raw from friction.

Moms and daughters. Sons and fathers.
Siblings, aunts, uncles
Choose to stay away from one another.
The pain is too great to be in the same room.
Words weigh heavily on our souls
When past sins and current life circumstances are discussed.

They don’t understand us. We don’t understand them.
And so we stay away.
At tables sit empty seats and cold plates
Because someone has to be right
Or because their voice and votes resemble hate.

We pray that they can accept us for who we are,
For the challenges we have,
For the choices we have made.
May they step into our shoes. And, when possible, may we embrace them with grace.

We pray that the shadows of the night can melt away as we look to the dawn.

Through the radical acceptance of Christ, may we open tables that have been closed,
Add seats that have been taken away,
And may the food multiply as our meal-sharing grows.

Being away from your family during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays is horrible. Being single on top of this is even worse.

I’ve spent many holidays away from my family. The first Christmas was the toughest. I was 23 years old, living in Florida by myself and had a number of invitations to join other family units that day. And while I did spend some of the day with others, I managed to get one of the worst headaches of my life, no doubt from the stress of being alone on Christmas day.

Fortunately over the years, I believe that God has provided me with people whom I celebrated these major holidays. From hanging with a pastor’s family at Busch Gardens in 2001 to spending Thanksgiving with an ex-boyfriend and his parents in 2005, I’ve had some interesting opportunities, conversations and company while absent from my family. Days were less lonely because there were others willing to open their homes to me even though I wasn’t part of their family.

As a single person, especially when I lived in Florida, I would often be given the gift of sitting at the table with other families. This is a gift I hope I am able to pay back as the years progress. Through friends’ open doors and plentiful tables, I was able to feel less alone when my family lived 1,000 miles away.

I think most of us do a phenomenal job with making sure those who are hungry are fed. But what would it be like to not only feed those who are hungry but open a table to those who have no one in their lives?

Can you think of friends who may not have families in which to spend the holidays? How can we invite them to be our family for part of the day? That’s our responsibility as people of faith and as people with the gift of family. We are called to open ourselves up to those who may be alone on holidays and special occasions to be an honorary part of our families. Just like Jesus asked his followers “who is my mother and who are my brothers,” we are to expand our families to include others into our fold. Many of his followers had to rely on the generosity of others while on their ministry journey. How can we be like the families who opened their houses to Jesus and the early disciples and make sure they become parts of our families, even for a day or season?

What will you do this Thanksgiving or Christmas to make sure the widow, orphan, single guy or gal, newly divorced person or individual away from their family to make sure they are at your table too?

After writing my last post, I felt the need to clarify: it was not to shame customers but a frustration with the consumerism that corporations have created.

I don’t think having cheap items is necessarily the corporations’ way of being generous to its customers. Rather, it’s their efforts to try to get people into their buildings and purchase other items.

Writing about this is absolutely not to shame those who shop on the day after Thanksgiving (or even the day of Thanksgiving). This may be the only way they can afford gifts for their children or to have what others in society have. People who can’t afford what others have finally are able to find a piece of dignity and grace that everyone has.

But it’s almost like corporations create opportunities to pit one customer against another. It becomes like The Hunger Games: “may the odds be ever in your favor.” Do the corporations care that their customers are being tackled or workers have to skip Thanksgiving dinner? Or is it entertainment for them?

What I’m trying to say is there is a broken system. Corporations are working to get people in the door and create profits at any cost. They do not all care about personal safety or disappointments. They care more about bottom lines rather than customers and employees.

So make sure consumers aren’t facing shame. If we can afford to, let’s not go to stores on the actual day of Thanksgiving. And then let’s write to corporations to tell them that their employees and consumers need to be treated with more dignity.

I’m sickened by the number of corporations forcing their employees to work today.

Now, I understand that places with medication or gas need to be open for those in need. Some physicians, nurses, firefighters, EMTs, police and mechanics need to work for emergencies. I am grateful for their work. However, I’m not sure our society wants to forego rest and fellowship time to see how cheap we can buy TVs, shoes, various appliances and craft supplies.

Wasn’t that the purpose of post-Thanksgiving Friday (a.k.a. Black Friday – although I’m not entirely comfortable using that term)? Sure, it was odd that the day after Thanksgiving honored
the gods of consumerism. Now that day has crept into the time-slot of Thanksgiving itself. Employees on the bottom of the consumerist food chain have to choose between having a job and spending time with their families.

To me, Thanksgiving (and even Christmas) is time of communal Sabbath. No matter what your nationality or belief structures, no matter how lofty your wealth or the color of your skin, we all had these days off together – to relax and enjoy simplicity.

Back in the day, Sundays were communal Sabbaths. Now, Sundays are the beginning of the consumerism week as we hunt through papers to see what great deals we can find at stores.

When I was a child visiting my grandparents in Canada for Christmas, all stores would be closed on December 26 for Boxing Day, an additional Sabbath and time for loved ones. As I grew older, this day turned into the Americanized December 26: filled malls and widespread sales.

To think we are losing any aspect of a communal Sabbath is heartbreaking. On previous Thanksgivings, most of us have the day off. Now, those who are paid the least are forced to work while the more wealthy of us can chose between resting and shopping.

A number of times, I’ve heard theologian Walter Brueggemann speak about Sabbath as a break from consumerism. He quotes the story in Exodus 5 of Moses asking Pharaoh for a day for the Israelites to have a break from their work so they can honor God together. Of course, Pharaoh then gave the Israelites more work and tougher working conditions because of this request.

The Pharaohs of our consumerist culture are requiring more and more workers to give up our communal Sabbaths. Next year, will stores start their sales at 6pm or 3pm on Thanksgiving? Will Thanksgiving become the new Consumerist Day of the Year? And why must these fall on the backs of the non-rich in our society while the wealthy make their money from those sacrificing their Sabbath day?

I would like to thank my clergy friends for a discussion topic on Facebook: Black Friday vs. Good Friday.* Because of them and the movement of the Holy Spirit, I couldn’t stop thinking about the special connection between these two Fridays.

My initial thought was that they are complete opposite festivities… one being the day people give their heart and soul for consumerism, the other that someone gave their heart and soul for justice… Wait… Not so fast… I need to get over my Thanksgiving turkey coma before really diving into this topic…

Once my coma wore off and I began to read one or two other comments in the discussion, I realized there were more similarities.

First of all, for those who believe solely in sacrificial atonement may arrive at the conclusion that these two days are complete opposites. As I mentioned earlier, to some people Good Friday is good because they believed Jesus died to save their sins. But not everyone believes that model of atonement.

Many of us believe that Jesus died because of our sins not for our sins. Because of a broken system in which few had great power and many were disposable, Jesus had to stand up as a voice for the voiceless and to give dignity to the unclean. Because of his courage and risk, Jesus was forced to face the cross. Thus, Good Friday is a sad day in which we remember something bad that happened to someone who loved with his whole heart. Good Friday is a gloomy day.

It’s not the only ominous Friday.

I’ve worked in retail. While I’ve worked on Black Friday, I never truly experienced the chaos of a store opening. I have, however, worked full-time in a department store during the weeks before Christmas. I was exhausted. Through this gloomy holiday memory, I experienced the disillusionment of Christmas. While most people darted in and out of stores, some left the negativity which rippled through each of our lives. Christmas was no longer a season of joy and sparkle but a time of dismay under florescent store lights. (Fortunately, I found my resurrection since my retail days by working in non-profits and churches. But I wonder where others find their resurrection while working in bleak midwinter at the mall…)

Thinking back to my retail experience, Black Friday wasn’t the beginning of the festive Christmas Season but a reminder of the somber parts of Holy Week and the despair of Good Friday. Little did I realize that I was in need of resurrection and renewal.

By comparing Black Friday to Good Friday, I see a Christ who is in solidarity with the retail worker. I am reminded of a Jesus who experienced the impact of a broken system. Likewise, those in retail during the holidays experience the same brunt of a broken economic system. I recall the story of Jdimytai Damour, a retail worker who died when opening the doors to Black Friday crowds. Damour was just trying to do his job and earn a paycheck. Instead, he met his demise in the cracks of an unjust and broken system. I think Jesus wanted to be on that cross as much as the Damour wanted to be trampled in a 2008 Walmart stampede.

Both workers and shoppers have been hurt in the name of great sales. And each year it gets bigger. Rarely do people challenge the way the system works. In fact, more sales are desired by the “powers that be.” Hours are expanded. Sales are promoted greater than the prior year. Corporations understand that having a few items that many people want (and couldn’t otherwise afford) will drive people into the stores. Because dignity comes with owning certain items, people will forgo time with their loved ones to make purchases. (I highly recommend reading this article by Diana Butler Bass.) The value of Thanksgiving lessens while the value of Black Friday increases.

The way that I would like to explain how much Black Friday has grown is through this analogy: what if Good Friday was celebrated at the exclusion of Maundy Thursday? What if we stopped celebrating Maundy Thursday, the supper and the words of institution? What if we removed the story of Jesus celebrating Passover with his friends and just focused on his arrest and death? Corporate’s decision to veil Thanksgiving by adding store hours is the equivalent of Jesus being arrested before celebrating Thursday’s Passover meal. It’s hiding the sacredness of our annual meal-sharing. Time specifically set aside to sit at the table, relax and enjoy family, friends and food has now been taken away to worship the almighty dollar and a very broken system.

I find it interesting that both Black Friday and Good Friday arrive after the day of meal-sharing. In Jesus’ time, it was the Passover meal. In our time, we share the Thanksgiving table. Peaks of kindness hover over the food. Prayers given in gratitude for the incredible blessings in our life.

Yet the warmth of the food and love at the Table begins to drift away. In the midst of the night, Jesus begins to experience the chills of abandonment and hate. Workers all around our country travel to work as the moon lurks overhead. As doors open to the whirlwind of coveting hearts, the loving energy of Thanksgiving is drained from the retail workers souls. Rarely does someone find their death at the hands of a broken system like Damour did. However, souls are crushed and spirits begin to die through the exhaustion and heartlessness that a retail worker can experience throughout the holiday season.

When does the resurrection come? For Good Friday, it was the “third” day. They needed to experience only two restless nights and resurrection was experienced.

Yet after our Thanksgiving Thursday and Black Friday, resurrection is rarely seen on the following Sunday. Shoppers still fight the crowds, hoping to find a parking space and getting grumpy when they can’t find what they are looking for. Workers continue to work the expanded hours and feel the ripple effect of negativity.

If we believe that Christ is in solidarity with the retail worker, resurrection is needed. Since it probably won’t come on the Sunday after Black Friday, or for another three to four weeks, some kind of hope is needed in the lives of retail workers.

What does this look like? How can we bring renewal, grace and hope to those working in the retail business?

First of all, we can stand for the dignity of the workers. This may include writing to corporate headquarters to let them know if their employer practices do not seem fair.

Secondly, we can be aware of how we treat the retail workers. They are on their feet five to eight hours per day. Many are making little over minimum wage. On top of all of this, they are encountering lots of shoppers each day, many of whom are grumpy. We can bring smiles and joy to their day and help them see the love of Christ whose birthday we mark with the purchase of these gifts. We can ask them how they are doing and treat them as humans, not servants. Retail workers are God’s children and made in God’s image.

There is very little joy in either Black Friday and Good Friday. Because of greed and selfishness, people hurt. Yet helping people find resurrection sooner rather than later will assist them in finding the presence of God in their midst.