So Sorry Guys…

So sorry guys – I have been hit with the Mongolian Death Flu (nah, I don’t actually know what it is all I know is that I quite literally can’t breathe and I’m pretty sure I’m going to die so if I totally disappear that’s what happened). I have so much I want to post about and I am trying to get to it, I promise. And I will. Just as soon as I can focus on something for more than five minutes at a time without coughing, sneezing or passing out again. Going to go do a shot of whiskey to see if that helps. Any home remedies you have that you can leave below would be so appreciated!

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About mistylayne

I'm a Z movie loving, horror hound, Buffy quoting, Dr. Who watching, geekazoid and seeker of all things unusual. I'm a gypsy wanderer, lover of words, Wendy of the damned and all that jazz. What can I say? I'm complicated.

Sorry to hear you’re sick, Misty. My Wife and Daughter are just getting over a bad bug themselves. Rest and drink plenty of very hot Honey Chamomile tea if you can muster it. I sometimes throw a Halls cough drop in the tea (It melts pretty quickly) for my Wife and it fixes her right up. Feel better Kiddo!

Well I’m sorry to hear you’re not feeling well, but you should count your lucky stars it wasn’t Mongolian Death Worm. I hear they’re troublesome. As to home remedies, I know that people suggest orange juice for people with colds and cough syrup might help that cough. So the only logical conclusion is that you should mix those two with alcohol to make some unholy purple drank/mimosa concoction. Please don’t consider that sound medical advice. Anyhow, get well soon.

Round these parts we call that Tropical Shiatsu Ninja Flu. It’s some bad juju. As far as a cure goes, smother your entire body with Vick’s Vapo-rub, then wrap yourself in a thrice-bleached goatskin. Take with two bottles of scotch and call me in the morning.

i have seen horror movies start out this way. Someones creates the a virus, that person plays with animals and the animals get it, next think you know a group of PETA members break out the animal only to unleash said virus on the populace and then you have kind of like zombies running after you……I need to watch 28 Days Later again.

Family recipe cure here: Find an old Mexican lady that speaks in broken english, but mainly spanish. She will need you have the tail of a toro (bull), vicks vapor rub, a bottle of sprite or something citrus soda (I recommend Jarrito juice) and then you will use all the ingredients (i will let you figure it out how to use them) and then watch shitty telenovelas while the grandma makes you pig intestine menudo.