Wishful Thinking Ch. 1

It had happened again, the rejection. I had been watching her in secrecy for a long time, not brave enough to tell her what I felt, I had reached far beyond normal dreaming. I was fantasizing about making it with her, while I enjoyed my masturbatory fantasies about the willing Janice getting the chance to satisfy me. Taking her time to seduce me into her lair where she would drain me through her lustful body.

So in my own built up depression, I found myself returning to and an old friend: pornography. It's a little less exciting than fantasizing about someone real, but it gave me a sense of satisfaction that came with little or no risk of getting hurt when my object of lust turns out to be uninterested, which was the case so many times before. As long as I was going to be fantasizing anyway, I might as well protect my feelings. So, I went home brought forth my story files of pornographic nature. Most of the stories had been found on the internet, from various sites, some were written by me. What they all had in common was that they involved dominant women, where men were seduced by the women for different reasons. Sometimes so that he would perform tasks which in some cases were illegal, other times she would deny him the pleasure of orgasm simply because it made her feel good.

The story that aroused me the most was about being seduced by a friendly, but dominant woman, at the office. I had written the story myself and on numerous occasions hoped it would happen with any one of the gorgeous secretaries. I wasn't hoping for a dominant woman dressed in leather, whose only goal was to hurt, degrade, embarrass or humiliate a man. Of course there were no problems finding stories like that on the net. All you needed to do was type in the word "femdom" or similar in any search engine and they would pop up. No, my kind of dominant woman would be a Mistress who perfected the art of seduction, and who would use the control she gained to get what she wanted. Done in a perfectly controlling manner without any pain involved. Everything she would get me to do would be through the strength she gained from controlling me, with an ability to persuade and seduce. I'd do what she wanted because she would make me aroused that I couldn't say no to her, not because of fear or by being forcefully overpowered, but rather from the risk of losing the feelings she would produce in me.

I could see from my database which stories I had read most, and decided to print out those stories that were read the most, knowing that I would probably enjoy reading those first. There was no toner in the laser printer, so I picked out a disc from the shelves, and saved the files instead. While the computer worked I went to the kitchen and had some nuked lasagna. I would be able to print out the stories later at work. I would place the printed stories in a folder which I could have at hand if I felt the need to run off to the restroom and jerk off. I knew of restrooms which didn't have open booths, and it would be secure to stroke myself there.

The next day I arrived at work early, and inserted the disc in the disc drive, and quickly listed them all to be printed. I could hear the disc being read and saw indicators showing that information was sent away to the printer. I walked down the hall to the shared printer and stood waiting for a while, but nothing came out. I checked to see that there was paper in the tray, and there was. I walked back to my computer to see if there had been any communications problems, but all was in order. This all started to puzzle me, what was going on? I looked once, I looked twice, and that was when I noticed that the printer was set to send the information to another network printer. It was located on the other side of the building, and I started running. God in heaven, hopefully no one was working yet.

Cornering into the next corridor I almost crashed into a woman. She was a brunette, about 25 and had a really nice figure. She was wearing a long red summer dress that stuck to her slender body like glue, and I shouted a simple 'Excuse me' while I rushed off. In the corner of my eye I saw her walking away swinging her hips. I found myself enjoying the fraction of a second that I saw swaying ass and lush body.

The printer was empty, but the indicators were showing that the memory contained information to be printed. I looked around but found no paper, so I pressed a few buttons and cleared the memory. It had been to close, I really should be more careful, I thought to myself as I walked back to my office. I heard voices down the hall and decided that I would have to print out the stories later. I ejected the disc and placed it in my pocket. The disc was safe, it had various security systems, so I wasn't scared of someone trying to see what it contained, but still it felt good to know where it was.

"Hey come on, the meeting is about to start."

I took my papers and walked down the corridor to the conference room where the staff meeting was being held. Luckily, the meeting wasn't as boring as it normally was, and I found I enjoyed listening to all that was said. The hours went quickly by, and it ended just 15 minutes before it was time to go home, but I did have some things to do that would be better off doing immediately rather than waiting until the next day.

Sitting down behind my desk again, with the intention of finishing the presentation that I was working on, I found that I had received a note on the internal messenger system.

"Call me before 5:30. I have something that belongs to you. My extension is 6239. Angelica."

I looked at the message for a while, wondering who Angelica was. I didn't remember meeting anyone by that name, but there was nothing strange about the fact that I didn't know everybody. What I found strange was that she had in her possession something that belonged to me. Angelica? My thoughts wandered the company, from door to door, through corridors I had been in, but I couldn't recall anyone by that name, nor did I remember seeing that name in any of the PM's that were sent out, so she couldn't be in an executive position. So who was this woman that wanted to give me something? When you can name all the faces you know, then go forth and try to remember all the faces that you only have caught a glimpse of. The woman in red? She was a possibility, but wasn't that asking a bit to much? Was it possible that I had dropped something when almost rushing into her?

I didn't know what to expect, so I picked up the phone and dialed her extension. Four tones rang in my ear before I heard someone pick up. A woman's voice answered.

"Angelica"

"Hello. Is this Angelica?"

"Yes it is."

I introduced myself after the incredibly stupid question and said:

"I received a message that you were looking for me, something about you having something that belongs to me?"

"Oh, yes, that's right. I've got them right here." Her voice was warm and friendly.

"Good, but I'm not sure what it is you have that belongs to me. I was just getting out of a meeting when I saw your message, and don't think I'm missing anything. I'm also contemplating if I should be honest enough to say that I don't know who you are."

I could hear her laughing, her pleasant laughter clinging to my ear.

"You almost crashed into me earlier today. You were in a great hurry to get somewhere, remember?"

So Angelica was the gorgeous woman in red that I had seen during my early morning exercise to catch those wrongfully sent printouts. Her voice was friendly and cheerful, which made me relaxed.

"I'm glad you called," she continued. "What I hold in my hand here makes for very interesting reading. I'm just a bit disappointed that the paper ran out."

My heart suddenly froze to a lump of ice. She had the printouts that I accidently sent to the wrong printer? Heaven forbid, it couldn't be true. My thoughts were rushing, searching for something wise to say that would get me of the hook she had me on, but she was still being nice about the whole thing. That was a light in the dark if anything.

She lowered her voice to a whisper, as if someone was nearby, which only made her voice sound sexy: "So, Todd, can we talk in private?"

Why, and about what? All she had to do was return the printouts, or was the going to use them against me in some way. I was getting nervous, but thought it would be best to follow her lead, so I answered as casually as I could.

"Sure, what about?"

She laughed and said.

"I think you know what it's about, Todd."

She paused as if she was waiting for a reply, but I didn't know what to say. Her voice was confident and I felt waves of excitement and fear rushing through my body. Was it obvious what she wanted to talk about? She could be my biggest fantasy come true or my worst nightmare, and how could I know and would I know before it was too late? After a moment, she continued.

"Can we meet before you leave tonight?"

"I'm not sure, I have to check my calendar. Hm, seems like I have no more rushing appointments, so that would work."

I made it sound like I had to figure out my schedule before I could be certain, although in actuality nothing could have made me miss this opportunity. I was hoping for the best but expecting the worst. Since she didn't know my working hours, I continued by looking some time ahead.

"Let's see, any time between 7 and 8 would be fine by me. Would that be suitable for you as well?"

I was waiting while I heard her breath caressing my ear.

"Good." she said in very friendly but somewhat businesslike manner, matching my tone of voice perfectly. "I'll see you at 7."

"I'll be looking forward to it." I was cool as ice. "A suitable place to meet might be at the same corner we almost bumped into each other?"

"I think it would be better to use an office for private conversation. I have the keys to an unused office. I'll show you to it when we meet."

"Okay, see ya."

She started whispering again, "I'll pretend I need help with a program I'm writing."

For whatever reason beyond my grasp, the clock suddenly started to go at an extremely slow pace. I tried to work, but the poking feeling between my legs were not giving me any peace. The expectations of my encounter with Angelica was making me too anxious and excited to concentrate. The other offices in the corridor laid in silence as those working there had gone home to their wifes, children or perhaps even porn movies, while I kept looking at my watch seeing how time was crawling forward. It was still 6:30 and my level of concentration had reached rock bottom. I couldn't get anything done, just had the vision of this slender woman in red, capturing more of the memory to remember her green eyes and her naked feet in the leather sandals. I closed my eyes, breathing slowly to maintain calm before I would sign off and prepare myself, when I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. I leaped out of my chair as if I was on needles, and turned around to see Angelica smiling.

"Jumpy, aren't we?"

She was gorgeous, even more breathtaking then I could remember her. About 5'10, myself being 5'6 made me look straight at her chest, and she seemed to enjoy the simplicity of my need to watch the roundness that was pointing straight at me less than a foot away. She put her hand back on my shoulder when I turned, and her thigh pressed against mine. I felt how I was getting harder from the touch. This was looking more and more interesting all the time, or where my senses playing a trick on me?

I was quite nervous in my excitement, excusing that she had taken me off guard, but my words didn't seem to make sense in my own ears, I hoped it would to her. She laughed while squeezed my shoulder, pushing herself slightly against me. I felt her thigh against mine again, and this time I also felt her breast brush lightly against my shoulder. I was tantalized by her mere presence.

"Don't worry about it, Todd. Would you help me with that thing I had problems with?"

She winked and then motioned me to follow her.

"Yes, sure, absolutely. Just let me sign off"

I was so excited I was shaking noticeably making typing a task of some difficulty. I managed to close my connection and turned to see Angelica standing down the corridor in the office landscape.

"I'm ready."

Only making sure I had the encrypted disc in my pants, I jogged to her just in time for us to enter the elevator.

She laughed heartily at me, gave me a sexy smile.

"Yeah, you're ready alright." as she slowly lowered her eyes down to my crotch. My cock was hardening, surely visible in my pants. She winked and pushed the stop button. She looked at me, and I was admittedly nervous.

"You're quite the nervous one, aren't you Todd?"

That got me even more nervous, and I stuttered.

"I guess I am."

She laughed again.

"Don't worry, Todd. I don't bite, but let's get to the point. Your printouts made for interesting reading. I wasn't surprised to see that they contained pornographic material, but it was surprising to see what they were about. I like these stories, we have similar taste in fantasies."

I wasn't sure what to reply, only nervously looking down at her feet, thanking her. Did she masturbate while reading stories like me? Did she come to work early in the morning in order to fulfill some sexual need using the good connection we had at work? Did she search the net for similar literary pieces? She interrupted my thinking as she continued.

"So, did you write any of these?"

I contemplated to lie, but decided that I might be rewarded for my honesty and answered.

"Yes, I did, a few."

"Are they autobiographical?"

I began to wonder if my honesty would be rewarded, but now that I had decided my approach, there wasn't any turning back regardless how difficult it was. It did have the potential for something quite interesting.

"Yes and no, I mean, they aren't based on any personal experiences of my own. They are, how should I put it, fantasies or dreams that intrigue me with great depth."

Hearing my own voice I suddenly began to realize that I was an open book which she could read, my sexual inexperience, my insecurity, all with pictures of me hiding in restrooms to jerk off. The manifestation of the truth became a heavy weight on my shoulders. I could feel her eyes on me for a moment as if sizing me up, and then she said.

"I was hoping that you'd say that, Todd, about your wishful thinking. Truthfully, I like men like you."

"Oh?" slipped my lips hopefully and suspiciously.

"Yes, Todd, I do. I can tell from these that you probably could appreciate a woman like me to the fullest."

I was beginning to appreciate how things were working out, still unsure if my honesty would be rewarded or not. This sure looked like she was going to offer herself to me sexually, but I was trying to avoid to raise my hopes too high. The fact that I was breaking out in sweat from the nervous and embarrassing situation didn't help to think clearly.

"I like you, I mean, you look beautiful, I mean, I do appreciate you, I mean, what do you mean?"

I wasn't making any sense, answering like a nervous schoolboy when his teacher asked him a question. She laughed again, this time filling the small space in the elevator completely with her amusement.

"I mean, Todd, that your choice of stories shows me the kinds of things you like, and I like them too."

"You mean the stories makes you...," I silenced.

"Makes me want to seduce you? Absolutely so, I like to seduce men who fantasize about being dominated by a woman like me.""

I looked up and saw her wide open eyes as she stared intently at me as I nervously tried to come up with something to say.

"Aren't you even going to try to deny that you would like me to dominate you, Todd?"

I couldn't, so I wouldn't.

"Todd, face the music, all of these stories have that in common. They are about men being seduced, dominated, denied release and made to do things by a woman, and as you admitted yourself this describes your wishful thinking. You can't deny this to be true?"

I was cornered, with no way out but through her. It had all the components of very fantasies she was referring to, but being cornered scared me. With no other way out I admitted what was obvious to her.

"You are right, I like, no I love for the woman to be strong, not dominant but strong. It's not easy to explain, can't find the words.""

She nodded in triumph.

"So why don't you explain it to me, Todd? Tell me how you want me to dominate you. Take your time and find the words."

I didn't know what to say, and standing in silence with her close to me made my thoughts blurry. I couldn't concentrate, her simply being so close made my knees shake. She looked at me with a sexy expression for a brief moment, then getting more serious again and said.

"I know this is difficult for you, but this won't work unless you are completely honest with me and tell me how you would like me to dominate you, and be that strong woman of your dreams."

I sighed, knowing what I wanted, but not knowing how I could express myself without sinking through the floor in shame. I raised my hand a bit, showing that I needed some time.

"I'll stutter a lot, but please let me finish. I love strong and dominant women, but not the kind of harsh hurting Mistress that feed on humiliation and pain. I want a kinder Mistress, who controls me with her seductive erotic mind and body to such a degree that I can't resist her decisions. Turning me on much more than anyone has before."

She nodded, speaking slowly with a whispering voice that made her sound incredibly sexy.

"I understand, Todd. You want to be dominated by me without being hurt, embarrassed or humiliated. You want me to tell you what to do, and do what you are told to do because they make you feel pleasure, not pain. You want things to come unexpected, not knowing or being able to anticipate what comes next, only knowing the woman knows or can anticipate what you want and what would turn you on the most. You also like to be kept in a state of arousal for a long time without cumming, pushed to the edge over and over, being brought to the edge of orgasm and then to not be allowed to cum, denied the release unless given permission. You want to cum to please us both, and cum more than once, but if you cum too early you're afraid that you might not be able to cum again, and the pleasure will be over. You like watching me, playing with myself for you in many different ways, and listen to me talk dirty to you, really be nasty just for you. You like kinky stuff as long as it's done delicately and doesn't cause pain. How am I doing?"

She surely agreed with my fantasies because she knew exactly what I wanted. I simply couldn't believe the pin-point accuracy with which she described all the things that I longed for. I felt myself growing rock hard in my pants from hearing her sultry voice. I was flabbergasted, feeling how my mouth was open in total surprise which seemed to amuse her.

"Todd, it is not difficult to figure out and understand what you want by reading your fantasies. I read them, and I like them too, remember?"

I regained some control and nodded silently. I knew she had read them, and along with the thoughts of her loving the same sort of stories from another point of view, made me breathless.

"Another reason I'm good at anticipating your needs is because I am a woman like these women you fantasize about, I am a mild Mistress. I use erotic persuasion, not pain or humiliation, to get what I want, so, I know from experience what men like you need. Now, you may not believe this, but it's hard to find men that really want this. Most men are threatened by women who want to be in control, they claim that it's unnatural for the woman to be the provider, and of those who really do want to be dominated, most want the pain and humiliation stuff, which I'm not that into. That's why I'm glad I found you. I have quite a lot of experience with this, Todd. I get turned on making men do things, making you do things. Do you want me to make you do things, Todd?"