People: Losers

Archbishop Francis Joseph Spellman lost his wallet. It was found in
Manhattan's Grand Central Terminal, returned with its money to his
office. Next day, although the finders' recollections of its contents
had been revised upward from $500 to "nearly $700," the archbishop said
that there had really been only $30 in the wallet. To reporters who
wondered how he had continued his travels without money, he told no
secrets.

Archduke Otto of Austria, whose proposal for a U.S. Army battalion of
Austrian nationals was finally nixed by both the Army and the State...