News From Ill Bethisad in 2007

News stories run from most recent to oldest.

All news stories are submitted by participants in Ill Bethisad, all of whom are welcome to submit stories from their respective parts of Ill Bethisad. Submissions may be edited for clarity, language or style.

KINGSTON, JAMAICA -- The row last March over alleged civil rights violations in Cuba stemming all the way back to Cubas Florida-Caribbea days, reported by the IBAP on 26 March, has been resolved by the League of Nations Human Rights Council in favour of the Republic of Cuba. Juan Antonio Fernandez Palacios, Cubas embassador to the League, stated that Cubas lawbooks contain "no laws that promote the abuses the Vikings [sic] are accusing us of; and in fact those same abuses they accuse us of are national law up in the Scandinavian Realm!" Citing the SRs less than stellar human and civil rights record during the 2004 War in Florida, Leagues HRC declared "The SR are in no strong position to accuse the Cuban republic of rights violations." This satisfied the Cuban delegation who departed for La Habana thereafter, declining comment at this time but with cheshire cat grins one and all.

Fernandez Palacios did however offer one comment regarding the bold accusation of post tampering at the SR embassy: "If the Vikings could learn to add water to their antiquated envelope sealing maquinas, then, the Senyores Nordicos would not have to worry about their correos slipping away! Is it the fault of the street sweepers in La Habana that they have followed behind the van of correos one day and the posts were slipping out the back door? Is it the fault of those same street sweepers that they picked up the papers and gave them to la guardia? Is it the fault of la guardia that they upheld their duties in citing the Nordes embassy 40 escudoes for littering? Is it the fault of anyone that those papers were accepted by an interested member of the Cortes who read in there a, what is it called?, ah, a "memo" that said, in parte, "...This will be as good a pretext to avenge C.A. as will appear in the near future. The "aggrieved action" before the LON will be advantageous regardless, should the next move be engaged..." It is signed by this ambassador, ah, Carlos Bilt. This is very interesting, is it not?"

Without a doubt, the Scandinavian Realm have found themselves in water warmer than the sunny Caribbean on a summers day, as C.A. clearly refers to the atomic wasteland of Charlotte Amalie. We shall all await to see how our friends in the SR talk themselves out of this one, for, without a doubt there were many, many more interesting memos found in the gutters of Calle de Columbo. [PB]