Things That Go Bump in the Night

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I’ve just started seeing a guy who’s circumcised, which is a breed of penis I’ve never had the pleasure of encountering before. Am I meant to do something different? What feels good?

Ah, the mysterious circumcised cock, an elusive and rare beast. Interestingly, circumcision isn’t overly common here in New Zealand, so it’s not entirely surprising you haven’t encountered one until now. But figures show that about a third of men on the planet are sporting a circumcised member, so let’s get familiar.

If a man has been circumcised, this means that the foreskin of the penis has been removed from the glans. Most often, circumcision is done for religious reasons, or for potential health benefits (however, this is a somewhat contentious issue). A circumcised member can look quite different from a non-circumcised one—usually, this is most noticeable when flaccid because the head of his dick will be hiding away. But when an uncut penis is erect, most often the foreskin will retract and the head of the penis will be exposed in anticipation.

Because the foreskin has a whole bunch of nerve endings which are removed with circumcision, a number of medical studies have allegedly discovered that a circumcised penis is less sensitive. Additionally, the foreskin acts as a fleshy sheath which can stimulate the penis during sex in the same way. This may be more noticeable during oral sex or while giving a hand job. Sometimes, this may mean that you need additional lubrication with a partner who is circumcised. Additionally, because this ‘sheath’ is missing, a circumcised partner may need more friction than an uncircumcised one in order to reach orgasm.

But for the most part, there is no reason why you should treat your new partner’s dick any differently; foreskin or no foreskin, sex is going to be a subjective exercise either way, and every partner will like some things more than others, regardless of what type of equipment they’re packing. Circumcised or not, just have fun with what you’ve got.

Lux you long time

xx

——

I really want to have a threesome but I don’t know how. Help, please!

The threesome is often held up as the gold standard of sexual prowess, but obviously not everyone wants threesomes, or if you do, not all the time—they can be exhausting! How you go about finding that elusive third is very dependent on who you’re with—sometimes it might be best to negotiate the possibility with an existing partner, and just let it be enough for you both to know you’re open to it. If you’re at a party together and a likely candidate arises, you can both go hit on them at once without having to duck out for a big discussion first, or making a move with which your partner isn’t comfortable.

Or maybe it would work better for you, if you’re in an existing relationship, to talk with your partner and then invite a specific person into your bed. This can be a little intimidating, but if done carefully, I’m sure it works for some.

If you’re a dude looking for a threesome with two women, it’s unlikely you’ll get lucky hunting around in bars. Try not to treat it as the ultimate goal, but a bonus that may come along if you’re open to it. If you’re a dude looking for a threesome with two other dudes, well, there’s always saunas.

Please don’t go looking for a threesome just so you can tell people you had a threesome. It reduces the other participants to mere accessories to your pointless point-scoring. Have more respect for your partners than that. This doesn’t mean you can’t feel good about having a threesome, but don’t let it be the only reason!

So now all that’s out of the way, and you’ve found yourself in bed with two sexy people. But suddenly there are too many limbs, too many genitals, too many mouths, and you don’t know what to do with them! It’s important to know who’s comfortable doing what—perhaps one or more of the participants will only be comfortable with oral sex. Being suddenly confronted with so many options is intimidating, and just because someone’s comfortable doing something in a good old-fashioned twosome doesn’t mean they’ll be comfortable with it à la ménage à trois. It’s unlikely everyone involved will be into exactly the same stuff anyway, and it’s even more important than usual to communicate well.

Crucial in a threesome: don’t neglect one of the people! I don’t care if you’re more sexually attracted to one of your partners over the other; it’s unfathomably rude to leave one person on the outside of the group. If you’re in a three-way where someone’s not sexually attracted to someone else (due to their sexuality, or any other reason), don’t be a child—it’s not the end of the world if a straight dude accidentally touches another dude’s butt.

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