Friday, October 28, 2011

Knifey Spoony on Orifice Dorm Records

The Knifey Spoony dudes from Oakland, sent the very first vinyl offering on their own Orifice Dorm Records label. That circle graphic showcasing a monsters crazy genitalia is actually from a window cut out of the printed sleeve, probably by hand. I bet you anything if I asked if they would do that again, they would say, "Not in your life". Handcutting 300 giant circles? It looks cool with that insert peeking through, but someone's hand is severely cramped...not like that isn't par for the course with this shredding, scuzz-punk...even if I keep hearing some variation of that "Ace of Spades" riff running through my head. Especially on the first track "Art Show Press Pass", this one is Suicidal Tendencies speed hardcore, blistering speed recorded in the back of the room, because that speaker is smoking, and the mics aren't that good in the first place. The speed metal fingers are flying with distorted vocals. Great title, it's easy to pick on the art world, all the good artists just start bands anyway, so you're left with the monocled, chain watch wearing ponces. I hope Knifey is going to lock them in the stairwell. They keep consciously changing up the rhythm on this, a sludgy, slow beating, slamming on the cymbals, to bringing back that pause for the metal licks to show off just a little bit. The next one "Retro Poser Enema", (man they are hitting all the focus groups) slows things down for the most part, sounding more classic rock, the squealing fudgy riff a little blues this time. I love that KS's next target is an old nomadic loser in a psychedelic band, I get it, there's a lot of really stupid things happening in the world and the only way I want to hear about it is punked out on a seven inch, nothing will get me more fired up that hearing about idiots for 3 or 4 minutes. They have to be the party starters, where you feel like something interesting is gong to happen tonight, they aren't too cool to be playing for you.The B-Side seems to be credited to John Fogerty, "Heeeeey Tonight!!!!", but I'm pretty sure they didn't exactly spell it like this. Nice way to sneak this one in...it's got a lot of low end balls, while still sounding as thin as How will I smile tomorrow... except with Steve O's (different one) screamy core. It starts out as a warbled hissing found tape, I don't know what's going on at the beginning of this, but I'm ready for it to blow up any second. Crackling humming cables, the wind blowing across a tape deck built in mic. Some panned back and forth drums come in and an unfamiliar guitar riff and when did they start sounding this together? This could be some Dead Meadow demo tape, a cover they put down live, just blown apart...there's an album I like to play called my 'man' album, it's really effective if I'm fighting in some 1st person shooter, just shooting and shit blowing up, and it's that Harvey Milk (is it weird I forget about the assassinated politician?) live album The Pleaser...this song would sound great on that. Serious man music, I'm going to virtually break something.

Anyway I like when a real bad ass band names themselves something so completely ridiculous they probably have to fight regularly about it. It shows they aren't afraid to throw down, in fact they are sort of taunting you...like another band I used to know, Kolostomy Fag.

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The End

If you're pressing 7" vinyl - you aren't in it for the money. I appreciate it.
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