Mail-Order Meat: Top 10 Meat Fixes We Are Going Postal For (Literally) On The 4th

Vegans beware! This post will have practically every red-blooded carnivorous American man salivating at his desk at work. With barbecue season in full swing and Independence Day coming up next Monday, we’ve decided to make a list of our Top 10 Mail-Order Meat Fixes.

Get the best barbecue in the country minus the down-home mess and the time it takes to do all the prep work.

We know the above picture might look disgusting to some, but to others, exotic meats hold a special appeal. That adventurous person can join the Exotic Meat of the Month Club and get rare meats like rattlesnake, bison, alligator, pheasants, ostrich, and wild boar.

3, 6, 9, 12 Months of the world’s strangest and most random meats. And no, we have no idea what the meat is in that photo. We won’t allow ourselves to stare at it for too long to figure it out.

Do you need a shoulder to lean on? What about ten pounds of shoulder? Get delicious Memphis-style pork shoulder from Charles Vergos’ Rendezvous–enough for 30 to 40 sandwiches. Feed your whole neighborhood this Independence Day!

Speaking of MORE MEAT, Just the words “bacon explosion” make us instantaneously hungry.

If you are into crazy amalgamations of meat (like the infamous Turducken), get this delicious monstrosity called the Bacon Explosion. Lie to your friends and family about your cunning cooking skills.

The Bacon Explosion is bacon-stuffed, bacon-wrapped Italian sausage, doused in Kansas City-style barbecue sauce/rub, pre-cooked and shipped to you. Those are really all the details they will need before they start shoving it in their pretty little faces.

We don’t know what it is about Memphis-style BBQ, but it makes us want to move there ASAP. Look at this picture from Germantown Commissary.

OK, now get that computer monitor out your mouth and just order this “Boss Hog Special” which feeds about 9 people and includes 4lbs of Pulled BBq, 4 slabs of Ribs, 2QTS BBQ Beans, 2 Bottle of BBQ Sauce, 1 Package Dry Seasoning.

Dorothy was trying to get back to Kansas for a reason; we are pretty sure that it was so she could nom on a Fiorella’s Family Pack which includes pork ribs, pork burnt ends, sausage, beans, corn cake, two sauces, a rub, and…a hat?

It better come in extra big sizes because we are pretty sure after all that food, we will have to fit some of it in our heads.