Surviving Abuse Podcast

I’m Mickie Zada and I lived in abuse…for 34 years…from age 19 until I was 53.
I believe we create our realities, and I chose to stay in a damaging relationship for so long because I thought it was my Calling. I was wrong.
I changed me. I am now an enthusiastic participant in Life.
“The words ‘I am’ are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you.” A.L. Kitselman
I am a strong woman, a fabulous woman, over 60 years old.
I am a Change-agent. I am an encourager. I am uniquely qualified to speak to living in abuse, getting out and surviving to the fullest extent. I know what it takes. I know the fear. I am a survivor.
I am a coach.
I am happy to have these “I Am” words to reach back and claim me!
The actions I teach and share are those that I’ve learned in my Journey from choosing to live in abuse to choosing to create my authentic life; safe, sound, Real.
I invite you to read through this web page. Think about who I Am. Read blogs, listen to some podcasts, watch live videos. Do we connect?
I am open and exposed. Choose to reach out to me or not.
What I know for sure is that I lived the life of abuse, and got out, and I’ve thrived, to serve as a beacon to other women.
If you live in abuse, or you’ve recently escaped, it’s my Mission to support and encourage you to choose and live a healthy life.
The materials, the tools, the support is here.
It’s your responsibility to grab hold and change yourself, from the in-side out.

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Like most of us, Stacy Brookman unwittingly fell in love with and married a charismatic man who appeared to be loving and caring; All that she ever wanted! He turned out to be one of the 4%... her ideal husband was a sociopath.

She became a lifetime member of the Domestic Abuse Survivors Club.

He could not keep a job, and that didn’t bother him. He suggested they move across the Country, and she went along. He insisted they purchase ever larger homes; he even bought horses. She struggled to pay the bills … he couldn’t keep a job … she went along.

Sound familiar? It sure does to me!

Listen to Stacy describe the hell that her husband created and how she made excuses for his behavior. She describes her embarrassment. She talks about feeling guilt and fear. He even bugged her car, her computer, her phone.

Stacy has now created a safe, happy, and authentic life. After embracing personal growth, taking responsibility for her life, she attracted a real man. A man who loved her for who she was and supported her entrepreneurial ventures. A man with a tremendous sense of humor, who was not an abuser.

Listen to Stacy Brookman’s evolution. She is honest, clear, specific and real. Anyone who has lived in abuse will empathize with her former life. And, admire the life she has created. A safe and healthy, authentic life can be created by any of us and Stacy is happy, living proof.

Stacy’s podcast is called The Real Life Resilience. She writes and teaches writing; Learn more at www.StacyBrookman.com She even offers a free writing webinar on her web site!

Stacy’s favorite poem is Veronica Shoffstall’s After A While. Read it here https://nerro.wordpress.com/2007/05/06/after-a-while-veronica-a-shoffstall/ It speaks to me as a survivor. I bet it will speak to you, too.

We present ourselves as confident, determined and gritty business women. We keep hidden in the shadows the truth about the life we live at home.

Fear, anxiety and guilt are our constant companions but are seldom expressed. Like many of us, that was my guests’ truth.

Carole Sanek shares with us personal examples of every dramatic phase of the domestic abuse cycle. Her charismatic, funny, and charming abuser manipulated her through control, financial, emotional and physical abuse.

You will relate to the stories Carole shares. They are all too hurtful and uncannily common.

Some of the phrases she used in our conversation could have come out of my mouth:

“…on the flip-side, people loved him.”

“We dated for 3 years; none of the abuse was evident until after we were married”.

Ruth Glenn is the President and CEO of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV). She has served with this organization since 2014 and is a domestic abuse survivor. She “gets it”!

We talk about victims wondering “how could I have allowed this to happen to me?” and other realities of domestic violence. Our discussion also overviews programs offered by the NCADV, including their flagships, “Remember My Name” and “Hope & Power for your Personal Finances”.

2018 is the 40th Anniversary of the National Coalition Against Domestic Abuse and one celebration is a gala during the national conference, Voices Rising, on September 23 – 26 in Providence, Rhode Island. Just announced: Jennie Willoughby (abused ex-wife of Rob Porter, former White House Staff Secretary for President Donald Trump) will be a keynote speaker! That is huge!

My guest, Bonnie Frank, created and managed a flourishing business, from scratch and on her own, while living in the midst of a very damaging relationship. She created her business by live-stream, every day, in spite of grueling accusations, confrontations and undermining by her abuser.

She live-streamed, with high energy and a smile on her face. No one knew what was really going on away from the camera. She did what she had to do to support herself, to maintain her own sanity … and her ability to be a responsible Mom to her two young sons.

Bonnie Frank is an amazingly strong, centered and inspirational entrepreneurial woman. Because of this conversation, I have changed my perception about staying or leaving an abuser when young children are involved. She is the epitome of making hard choices and tough decisions based on individual realities.