23 Cringeworthy Things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Romantic

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Ladies — listen up! You know how you think you’re being super cute and fun when you “playfully” punch your dude in the arm after he says something funny? Cut that sh*t out! Your boy bruises like a peach and he doesn’t have the heart to tell you that it really hurts. He’s been rubbing arnica on that same spot for weeks!

Guys usually get all the flack when romance goes wrong (i.e. creepy), but women are just as susceptible to getting it wrong. I don’t know where in the evolutionary process of humanity “baby talk” came along, but it needs to die along with the drop crotch pant trend. Maybe there’s a dude or two who actually like it (ugh), but it seems the vast majority find it annoyingly repulsive. If you really want to f*ck with his head, though, just call him “DADDY.” He’ll love that!

It’s difficult to gauge whether your boyfriend appreciates the 20 emojis you send him every hour on the hour, or if those heart-eyes are slowly driving him insane, but everyone is different. Also, it’s probably safe to assume that bae doesn’t want you to steal his favorite sweater just because you “look so cute in it, though!” You have a full closet of very expensive clothes, so leave his be.

These are 23 of the most cringeworthy things girls do when trying to be romantic:

1.

My girlfriend does the baby-talk. I’m trying to get her not to, it’s getting better. But it turns me off completely. I want to be sleeping with an adult, please talk like one. Then pouting if I don’t feel like initiating, yeah, that will turn me on. It’s a dead bedroom for real.

2.

Making theatrical “reaction” faces that look forced and unnatural. I’m talking about opening your eyes real wide and blinking weirdly, or making an exaggerated surprised face. Yes, you think they look good when you take selfies or film yourself doing stuff, and I get that you’ve probably rehearsed it, but when you do it in conversation it just makes you look stupid and I want to slam my head in the car door to escape the pure cringe.

3.

Pretend to be helpless and baby-like.

4.

I dated someone who was more interested in sharing with others that we were in a relationship than actually being present in the relationship. Like an over exaggeration of our romance. Selfies galore, it was exhausting. I think what did it for me was when I took her out to enjoy a sunset, she snapped a “perfect” picture and decided she wanted to go. The sunset was a fluid 30 minute event, how are you satisfied with a moment’s snapshot?

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.