For some of you it can be considered insulting, but I do not want to insult anyone and only write it for fun. I've heard it from an EO Deacon, who heard it from a RC Priest.

As it's summer Holy Trinity gathers to discuss where to spend holidays.- Let's go to the Egypt. - proposed God the Son - there are plenty of beautiful pyramids. I remember I enjoyed them when I was there as a Child.- No way! - said God the Father - there is boiling hot. I'm old and bearded and it will be to hard for Me to stand it. Let's go to Palestine.- I disagree. - said God the Son - It brings back bad memories for me. What about Rome? It's very popular now.- Yes! Yes! - shouted God the Holy Spirit in a figure of a Dove, flapping It's wings with enthusiasm - I've not been there since 11th century!

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who can watch the watchmen?"No one is paying attention to your post reports"Why do posters that claim to have me blocked keep sending me pms and responding to my posts? That makes no sense.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who can watch the watchmen?"No one is paying attention to your post reports"Why do posters that claim to have me blocked keep sending me pms and responding to my posts? That makes no sense.

For some of you it can be considered insulting, but I do not want to insult anyone and only write it for fun. I've heard it from an EO Deacon, who heard it from a RC Priest.

As it's summer Holy Trinity gathers to discuss where to spend holidays.- Let's go to the Egypt. - proposed God the Son - there are plenty of beautiful pyramids. I remember I enjoyed them when I was there as a Child.- No way! - said God the Father - there is boiling hot. I'm old and bearded and it will be to hard for Me to stand it. Let's go to Palestine.- I disagree. - said God the Son - It brings back bad memories for me. What about Rome? It's very popular now.- Yes! Yes! - shouted God the Holy Spirit in a figure of a Dove, flapping It's wings with enthusiasm - I've not been there since 11th century!

Even I had to chuckle at this one. I guess it could be rewritten for Traditionalist Catholic audiences.

Logged

"For, by its immensity, the divine substance surpasses every form that our intellect reaches. Thus we are unable to apprehend it by knowing what it is. Yet we are able to have some knowledge of it by knowing what it is not." - St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa contra gentiles, I, 14.

A Priest once went to a beach to have a little of sunbathing and swimming in the Black Sea. There weren't any people around so he stripped naked and only covered his family jewels with his hat. After a while two young women appeared on the beach and realised that he is a Priest. They come to him and asked for a blessing. He stood up and blessed them with right hand, holding the hat with the left hand. Evil women asked him for a blessing with the left hand so he switched his hands. Finally Eve's descendands asked him for a blessing with both hands and he did that.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who can watch the watchmen?"No one is paying attention to your post reports"Why do posters that claim to have me blocked keep sending me pms and responding to my posts? That makes no sense.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who can watch the watchmen?"No one is paying attention to your post reports"Why do posters that claim to have me blocked keep sending me pms and responding to my posts? That makes no sense.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who can watch the watchmen?"No one is paying attention to your post reports"Why do posters that claim to have me blocked keep sending me pms and responding to my posts? That makes no sense.

Acts 15: 1-35 , "The Council in Jerusalem," is thought to be the president for episcopal assemblies and conciliar resolution of disputes within the church, I think. I recall also, note that St. James, the local bishop, of Jerusalem, presided over this council, even though, both Sts. Peter and Paul, are called the "Chief Apostles," by the church.

Also, note that St. Peter did not select the apostle to replace Judas, but the Apostles gathered together and chose Mathias by lot.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who can watch the watchmen?"No one is paying attention to your post reports"Why do posters that claim to have me blocked keep sending me pms and responding to my posts? That makes no sense.

An elderly woman who lived alone was robbed one night. Hearing noises, she went down stairs and saw a burglar in the dark taking some of her things. She then said, in a loud voice, "Stop! Acts 2:38." The burglar froze and just stood there looking at her direction. THe woman got out her cell phone, dialed 911 and the police came and arrested the burglar. The arresting officer then asked the burglar why he didn't just run after he saw her. THe burglar said, "Are you kidding? She had an ax and two 38s!"

An elderly woman who lived alone was robbed one night. Hearing noises, she went down stairs and saw a burglar in the dark taking some of her things. She then said, in a loud voice, "Stop! Acts 2:38." The burglar froze and just stood there looking at her direction. THe woman got out her cell phone, dialed 911 and the police came and arrested the burglar. The arresting officer then asked the burglar why he didn't just run after he saw her. THe burglar said, "Are you kidding? She had an ax and two 38s!"

Awe-some.

Logged

Though I've walked the valley of the shadow of the death, I've fallen not. Not completely. Not yet.

A tall, lean man with a huge beard dressed in white linen tunic and wearing the Muslim "chalma" hat looks out from a cave in a desert. Two neatly dressed Jehovah's Witnesses stand near the cave, one of them saying to the man, "Would you like to study the Bible with us?"

The sign over this cartoon says, "And you thought nobody would ever find Bin Laden!"

A tall, lean man with a huge beard dressed in white linen tunic and wearing the Muslim "chalma" hat looks out from a cave in a desert. Two neatly dressed Jehovah's Witnesses stand near the cave, one of them saying to the man, "Would you like to study the Bible with us?"

The sign over this cartoon says, "And you thought nobody would ever find Bin Laden!"

LOL!!

Logged

""Pride is not the opposite of shame, but it's source. True humility is the only antidote to shame.""— Iroh- Avatar:The Last Airbender

There was an elderly Christian woman living next to an atheist. Every day she would venture out onto her front porch, and give praise by shouting, "Glory to God!" And each day, the atheist would hear it and shout back, "there is no God!" This pattern continued for years.

When the elderly woman fell on hard times, it became difficult for her to keep up with expenses. She continued, though, to give praise each day. One day, she was going to run out of food and didn't have any money to purchase groceries. She went out onto her porch and prayed to the Lord for food, and then finished with her usual, "Glory to God!"

The next morning, the woman went out to her porch, and found sitting there a bag of groceries. She exclaimed, "Glory to God, who has given me food to eat!" Suddenly, though, the atheist jumped out from a nearby bush and said, "Aha! I have bought you those groceries - there is no God!" The woman paused, and then cried out very loudly, "Glory to God! You have not only provided me with food, but you've mad the devil pay for it!"

(Yes, that joke kicked off my stewardship sermon...)

Logged

"There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that “my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge."" Isaac Asimov

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal: he’d have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they’d have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a ‘silent’ debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.

The Pope said, “First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. The rabbi responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins, and the rabbi pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue.”

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he’d won. “I haven’t a clue,” said the rabbi. “First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.

“And then what?” asked a woman.

“Who knows?” said the rabbi. “We broke for lunch."

Logged

Though I've walked the valley of the shadow of the death, I've fallen not. Not completely. Not yet.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who can watch the watchmen?"No one is paying attention to your post reports"Why do posters that claim to have me blocked keep sending me pms and responding to my posts? That makes no sense.

Jesus, while traveling with His Discpiples out of sudden said y=3x^2-5x+7"What is He talking about?" John asked his older brother.James answered, "I don't know. Sounds like another one of his parabolas!"

Logged

"There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that “my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge."" Isaac Asimov

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who can watch the watchmen?"No one is paying attention to your post reports"Why do posters that claim to have me blocked keep sending me pms and responding to my posts? That makes no sense.

Jesus, while traveling with His Discpiples out of sudden said y=3x^2-5x+7"What is He talking about?" John asked his older brother.James answered, "I don't know. Sounds like another one of his parabolas!"

In feudal Japan, the shogun summoned a Japanese swordsman, a Chinese swordsman and a Jewish swordsman to his court. He wanted to see which of these three was the best swordsman by making them strike a fly in mid flight.

The Japanese swordsman drew his sword. His fly fell down in two pieces.

The Chinese swordsman drew his sword in a flourish. His fly fell down in eight pieces.

The Jewish swordsman drew his sword and struck the fly. But the fly escaped.

The shogun was puzzled by the Jewish swordsman. "Sir, you did not kill your fly."To which the Jewish swordsman replied, "My lord, circumcision is not lethal."

In feudal Japan, the shogun summoned a Japanese swordsman, a Chinese swordsman and a Jewish swordsman to his court. He wanted to see which of these three was the best swordsman by making them strike a fly in mid flight.

The Japanese swordsman drew his sword. His fly fell down in two pieces.

The Chinese swordsman drew his sword in a flourish. His fly fell down in eight pieces.

The Jewish swordsman drew his sword and struck the fly. But the fly escaped.

The shogun was puzzled by the Jewish swordsman. "Sir, you did not kill your fly."To which the Jewish swordsman replied, "My lord, circumcision is not lethal."

Two old couples were walking out in the park together on a nice, sunny day. As was their custom, the two men walked ahead of the two women, and each pair carried on their mostly separate conversations.

One man turned to his friend and said, "Oh, you just have to try this new restaurant my wife and I went to the other night. It's just wonderful."

"Oh, really?" inquired his friend. "What's the name of the restaurant?"

The first man though long and hard, his age getting the better of his memory. "Well, um...oh, shoot...it...it, ummm...well, all right, you know that flower that, it's red, and it starts out all pulled together but later the petals open up into this beautiful red blossom...ah, what's the name of that flower?"

"A rose?" offered his friend, thinking he'd help him along in remembering the name.

His friend's face lit up. "Yes! That's it! Rose!" And then, turning back to his wife behind him, the man said, "Hey, Rose, what was the name of that restaurant we went to..."