Before there were web logs there were diaries, journals, and memoirs. Midland Passages is a narrative of life shaped in the small towns of the American heartland. "I'm bound away 'cross the wide Missouri."

Friday, December 31, 2010

Scene III. San Clemente, in California.

[Enter Ziegler and Rosemary Woods.]Ziegler. Just cast your eye upon this, Rosemary.Rosemary. An article calling for the President to resign. Malicious propaganda. What of it?Ziegler. ‘Tis the editorial position 5 of the Omaha World-Herald. Since the very beginning, one of the finest Republican papers, it has supported dear Richard. But now, I cannot bear it. Offensive reading. Resign for lack of 10 moral indignation, lack of any ability to handle the situation. Resign, not because of anything he did, but because of the way other things happened. What malicious rot! Oh, why has 15 this long and faithful paper so suddenly been subverted?Rosemary. ‘Tis only a minor circular, Ronald, with hardly a jot of influence. Why worry?Ziegler. But the stronghold of all conservative 20 Politics rests its weary head on the bosom of the American heartland. The heartland turns on the man, and says he should quit. Not just tiny Omaha, but Denver, Kansas City, Chicago, Boston. 25 All the centers of the President’s great popular appeal. Their papers, long Republican bastions, now defect. Send them a note, Rosemary. Tell them they’re wrong. The President will never resign. 30 These reasons are too wishy-washy. And Richard is no wishy-washy man.Rosemary. But if all these supporters have defected to join the enemy’s bandwagon, what are we to do? 35Ziegler. Oh, an excellent question. And we’ve an excellent answer. The President shall go forth with an Operation of Candor and give numerous speeches at carefully selected occasions 40 and sites. He will face his critics and his popularity will soon rise. We are in but a brief valley, where, as sure as the sun shall set each day, we will rise above this valley and once more set atop 45 the great avalanche of public confidence.Rosemary. I hope so! [Exit Rosemary Woods.][Enter Richard and Secret Service Agents.]Richard. Feels good, this California sun. Much relief from our winter of snowy discontent, which plagues Washington. ‘Tis a stuffy place. 50 I never did like it much. ‘Tis too full of nasty people who do nasty things. Ah, California’s the place. A place to think and dream and believe. If only Washington were not so dreary and dismal. 55 There’s a mood there, a sarcastic feeling, disbelief, almost, that anything is good. ‘Tis too morbid. A rotting, stinking sickness that strangles incentive and creativeness. A bog, a sucking mire that slows the functions 60 of man and government. A disease of nausea and irregularity, destroying a quality of life that ought to call each other “Brother,” and bring many smiles to grim and somber faces. Such is 65 the mood that plagues my Capital, and plagues the soul of my Government. Hello, Ron, what news do you bring?Ziegler. Oh, nothing important, just some Congressional action.Richard. You look depressed, what’s the matter? 70Ziegler. Oh, nothing.Richard. Come on, Ron, what is it?Ziegler. Oh, it seems all so hopeless.Richard. It seemed hopeless in ’62, remember?Ziegler. But that was just for Governor. And we 75 lost fair and square. But this is different.Richard. Ah, cheer up. We’re back on the track. Operation Candor. The best defense is a good offense.Ziegler. Oh, don’t be so trite. You know we’re in trouble. They voted 400 some to 5 to have the 80 Judiciary Committee look into your impeachment. It was a mistake.Richard. Definitely. They’ve no grounds for impeachment.Ziegler. No, I mean the releasing of the tapes. ‘Twas a mistake. It back-lashed on us. Instead 85 of support, the powerful and influential decry a lack of moral leadership. Fools. They don’t see facts. They see intangibles, which can’t be assessed in a court of law.Richard. But impeachment is a judicial process, Ron. 90 Fair minded men will look at all the evidence and say, “No way.” And we’ll be vindicated. Have faith!Ziegler. I suppose so. [Exeunt.]

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Scene IV. Washington, D.C. the Capitol.

[Enter Carl Albert and divers Senators and Representatives.]Albert. My Democratic friends, hearken. Listen carefully to what I shall say. Things, my friends, have gotten out of hand. This scandal, called Watergate, has brought forth fifty criminal indictments, a dozen 5 pleas of guilty, an entire Cabinet swept away, and a Vice President fallen from office, forgotten and alone.1st Senator. ‘Tis as if we should celebrate.2nd Senator. Aye, ‘tis a joyous news for we Democrats. 10 The Party Republican is damaged beyond all recall and repair.1st Represent But, methinks, sometimes, this carnage has been too harsh.Albert. Though, we at first encouraged the undoing of this scandal, for sometime it has gone 15 forward without our help.3rd Senator. As if some monster, created and controlled by mad science’s hand, nursed and weaned , now has grown to such a weight it rolls on, uncontrolled by helpless science 20 unable to stop its course or change its destiny.2nd Represent Aye, these matters have wound into even some corrupt practices of a few Democrats.Albert. These are all but mere minor incidents on the grand scale of Watergate. What have 25 we done, but set in motion a machine of destruction, given momentum to the machine, until now it crashes down the hill faster than we can even watch? Into whom it will crash, only God knows. 303rd Senator. Let us, then, withdraw to the sidelines and watch the momentum of Watergate. If we step in now, we shall be charged with guiding the investigations. Let us withdraw, and quietly, to watch the path 35 this monster machine sweeps out. [Exeunt all save Albert.]Albert. I shan’t wish to be a Republican right now.[Enter Gerald Ford, as Vice President.] Hello, there, Jerry.Ford. Hello, Carl. Why do you wander these empty halls, so sad and melancholy? 40Albert. I suppose I shouldn’t be. By all the great prognosticators, we should have a great landslide for my party in the elections this coming dull November.Ford. I don’t think many Republicans stand a chance. 45Albert. Aye, not only this Watergate, but inflation. It looks bad for you, indeed.Ford. ‘Tis true, especially on the inflation. Tough times are tough on incumbents of the party in power. 50Albert. There are many men of high learning within this Congress, Republicans by trade, who say if the President should resign then the Republican Party would do much better this Fall. 55Ford. I don’t want to be President. I don’t need to be Vice President. I think the case of Richard M. Nixon is near its close. The facts will come out and for better or worse the facts will be known. I pray the 60 President will be vindicated. [Exeunt.]

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Scene V. Washington, D.C. a prison.

[Enter Two Jailers.]1st Jailer. Whoa, whoa, I say. We passed the exit, Sevie.2nd Jailer. You smell of Scotch, Wesley. Most sickening.1st Jailer. No, my dear friend, Sevie. ‘Tis not sickening. ‘Tis an his-, a his-, an historic day.2nd Jailer. Now, Wesley, that you’ve finally got that out, 5 why is this an historic day?1st Jailer. Because, my friend, I suspect company. Important company, for a good long time, my friend.2nd Jailer. How long.1st Jailer. Three to seven. On con-, conspir-, plotting. 10 And some more on purg-, pur-, pu-, pu-, lying!2nd Jailer. A Mafia Man? They’re hard to catch.1st Jailer. No, no, no, nope. ‘Tisn’t the Cussy Nosetra. Somethin’ even biggerer.2nd Jailer. Bigger than Organized Crime? There’s no such 15 animal, except the Government.1st Jailer. There, Severeno, is your rub.2nd Jailer. Huh?1st Jailer. Milton, or Shakespeare. Maybe it was Wilder.2nd Jailer. Gad, you’re drunk. 201st Jailer. And why not? ‘Tis the biggest movement in my life.2nd Jailer. Why, for heaven’s sake? Why?1st Jailer. Because, Sevie, my dear friend, today I incarce-, incarcer-, in-, lock up three of the Watergate defendants. 25 Men who worked right over there for the President.2nd Jailer. Yes, Wesley, ‘tis important. But nothing to get stinking drunk over.1st Jailer. Got to celebrate, you know. I’ll be on national veletision.2nd Jailer. In your condition you’ll never get the key in the lock. 301st Jailer. Hah! Steady as a rock, you understand. I… I… [He faints.]2nd Jailer. Utterly deplorable. What nonsense through yonder pie hole pukes. [Exit with body of 1st Jailer.][Enter Howard K. Smith, Eric Severied, and John Chancellor.]Smith. And here, ladies and gentlemen, is the very place where Magruder, Colson, and 35 Kalmbach will be put behind bars, an end to one segment of this Watergate ordeal.Chancellor. Yes, Howard, other defendants are already serving time, some are sentenced and still more await their trial. 40 ‘Tis the biggest scandal in American History, uncovered by the diligent Press.Severied. Just think, ladies and gentlemen, ‘tis a scandalous matter twice as big as Grant’s Credit Mobilier or Harding’s 45 Tea Pot Dome. Already a dozen underlings have been convicted, two Secretaries have been fired, three more have resigned. The entire campaign committee has been exterminated, 50 including that most venerable John Mitchell, former Attorney General and good guy. Even the Vice President has been swept away. And ladies and gentlemen, it’s all been brought to you by the American Press. 55 [Exeunt.]

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Scene VI. Washington, D.C. the Capitol.

[Enter Peter Rodino, the House Judiciary Committee and James St. Clair.]Rodino. An impeachment inquiry must be impartial and factual and just. We must take all the evidence and look at it most wise.1st Represent Throw the bum out, I say.2nd Represent You have no grounds, I say. 51st Represent Oh, yeah?2nd Represent Yeah!Rodino. See hear, brother Democrat, and you Republican. Hold your tongues ‘til debate time rolls around. ‘Tis what this 10 Committee is for. And what do you want, Mr. St. Clair?St. Clair. To represent my client.3rd Represent This is a Committee hearing, not a trial. We’re impeaching the Man. 15 Why must you get in the way?St. Clair. To ensure that President Nixon gets a fair defense before the eyes of the nation. Besides, Andrew Johnson had a lawyer at his House hearings. 20Rodino. Very well. You may be present, you may ask questions, but you will not be allowed to help write the minority report or make any procedural suggestions.St. Clair. That is what I had in mind. 25 [Exit St. Clair.]3rd Represent A Committee of Impeachment. An awesome thing.2nd Represent Aye, used but once before in most of two hundred years. And then ‘twas a political circus of ideological hatred against a helpless Andrew Johnson. 30 I see a parallel. Poor Johnson was acquitted by one brave vote. Methinks Nixon’s margin of safety is much larger.1st Represent I disagree on all points of your speech. For this impeachment is criminal and 35 we’ve a good chance of conviction.2nd Represent We shall see. We shall see.Rodino. Impeachment, brothers, is a grave and constitutional thing. No meager task. We, the House Committee on the 40 Judiciary, have been authorized to investigate and bring forth a report concerning the President’s participation in “treason, bribery, and other high crimes and misdemeanors.” 45 Our report, brothers, will be definitive. It will either tell the Congress that Richard M. Nixon has committed an impeachable offense, or he has not. The full House will then debate and vote. 50 And if, a mighty if, it’s for impeachment he will be tried in the Senate. Come, brothers, we’ve a lot to do, much evidence to consider. And the first thing we’ll do is vote to subpoena all the 55 Presidential tapes, for that, my brothers, is where the truth lies, on those tapes. All in favor, say “Aye.”Representatives “Aye!”Rodino. Opposed? Measure carried. We’ll have the truth 60 shortly enough. [Exeunt.]

Monday, December 27, 2010

Scene VII. San Clemente, in California.

[Enter Pat, Tricia, and Julie.]Julie. How dare they!Tricia. The cads! The fiends!Pat. Calm, girls, calm. ‘Tis not the first time.Julie. No, but it has been a hundred and seven years since a House Committee has looked 5 into impeachment. It’s disgraceful!Pat. Do not fear. What can they do? They’ve all the facts. They can’t help but decide in Richard’s favor.Tricia. But they’re partisan Democrats. They’ll not heed the evidence. 10Pat. No, maybe not. But the American public will. And they’ll see through these Democratic tricks.Tricia. I’ll have no fear.Julie. Nor I. 15Pat. Good girls. We’ve nothing to worry about.[Enter Ziegler.] You look happy, Ronald.Ziegler. Your husband has hired a lawyer, the finest in the country.Together. Who? 20Ziegler. Why, James St. Clair, that’s who.Pat. A fine man.Ziegler. Indeed! He’ll argue the President’s case, high, low, or in the middle of the ocean. Right now he goes to the court to plead that 25 the subpoenas issued by Jaworski shan’t be complied with. [Exit Ziegler.]Pat. A noble cause.[Enter Richard and Secret Service Agents.] Hello, dear.Julie/Tricia. Hi, father. 30Richard. Hello, my family.Pat. Thou seem pre-occupied and melancholy.

Richard. ‘Tis a melancholy time in our lives.Pat. Come, daughters, methinks your father needs time alone. [Exeunt Pat, Tricia, and Julie.]Richard. You heard her. 35 [Exeunt Secret Service Agents.] Where am I? What is my life? Such questions are common nowadays. ‘Tis time I took a reflective look at what means this world. How fast it turns! With or without me, it turns. And always faster. But the Captain 40 of a great Ship of State must calmly steer a slow and deliberate course through every swirling storm that buffets our world. Always have I thought myself an honorable, Captain. I’ve tried, I think, I really have, 45 to do what’s best for this land, this noisy nation, this union of the free and brave. But, by some accounts, the nation sees at the helm a Captain I do not recognize. I must be a terrible person! But, no, 50 that’s just the papers peddling garbage. I’ve made many decisions as President. And, yes, perhaps I’ve erred, and more than once. But each move of the wheel, each course correction, has been made for the good of the country. 55 And if what is best for the USA is also good for me, I’ll not complain. I am no fool. I can see when there is advantage in mutually compatible and beneficial deeds. If I appear 60 to have put my own desires before the interest of the nation, that’s a mistake. This present turmoil is just one more share of the plague of ups and downs in any public life. After all, there are many 65 millions still who support their President. If the Committee votes for impeachment, which I doubt, I’ve enough support in the House to defeat the attempt. But if worse does come, a Senate trial should be full fair. 70 I trust them. Good men elected by the self- same citizens who elected me. It will not get that far, in my practical view. And now I think of long time friends who say I must resign. What hogwash! I am 75 no quitter. I’ll ride it out. A stone wall. I will survive. Breathe deep, each breath of mine, resolved to say, “I will not resign.” [Exit.]

Monday, December 20, 2010

ACT FOURScene I. Washington, D.C. The Mall.

[Enter Chorus.]Chorus. Shakespeare misquoted, for your consideration: “To be or not to be, is that a question?” Taken here, the problem is not so clear. Brave Hamlet talked of only death and life. The deeds of Richard are of greater strife. 5 Under the scrutiny of this History comes the Chief Executive of this Country. Indeed, Affairs of State are Acts of Men, as governed by the Constitution. Yet how is this judged or who’s to choose 10 why which view prevails or which party fails? Issues face us. Two sides, emotional, believe there is no one truly impartial left on this earth who can judge wrong from right. In any ideological fight, 15 the flares and flames of passion burn the mind into thinking that all must take a side. “If ye be not for me, ye must be agin’ me!” has forever been the partisans’ cry. And no settlement will ever be found 20 to satisfy both sides. They won’t be bound by any decent Logic known to man. For Logic, you see, only tends to fan outlandish bursts of emotional tension, which fills a land with apprehension . 25 Each feuding side does hide the Truth full well within the veil of Hyperbole’s saddle. Even you, out there in audience land, already have formed an opinion of this man. And nothing we present in these final acts 30 could ever cloud your judgment of the facts about this man, Richard Nixon by name, of how he fared or what ever became of him. For even now the Nation is divided in two camps. As half the folks 35 laugh, “Alas, poor Richard, I knew ye well,” the other half cries, “You Nixon haters, you filthy Press, upon our President you’ve unleashed the Hounds of Hell.” Not ‘til all the principals are dead and cold 40 will wise and brave historians be bold and say for certain who was wrong, and why. So this History of Richard M. Nixon Finds a turning point. Either a triumph for those that want to fix him, or a 45 vindication for his loyal support. So sit back in your comfortable chair and watch the tale the players again prepare. If you find them good in what they do, give them a hand, 50 for they present a tale most significant in the history of our land. [Exit.][Enter Leon Jaworski, a Prosecutor.]Jaworski. Thanks to my predecessor, I’ve been able to do my job. Here in my right hand are seven indictments against seven 55 administration men. I go to hand them up to His Honor, to begin the prosecution of these indicted men. And all the evidence I have will go to the House Committee that studies his 60 Impeachment. I find it a shame that the President will not give up his many tapes. And now I’m forced to go before the District Court to enforce my subpoenas and the subpoenas of the House Committee. 65 I see just over there a bookstore with a big blue book. A compromise is no compromise if only one side agrees to it. But ne’er-the-less, we have thirteen hundred pages of edited transcripts. 70 The President says that is all we need to decide that he’s innocent. But I’ll be expletive deleted if I’ll for one moment be unwise enough to think that edited transcripts are the whole truth! 75 Thus, I need tapes, not transcripts! Or do the President and his lawyer take me and the House Committee for abject fools? There exists two possibilities. If Nixon is not guilty, then I can 80 take these blue bound transcripts at face value The President asks me and the country to trust him now, for he is the best judge. There is another possibility, horrid to think on. If Mr. Nixon 85 is guilty of doing wrong once, is it not so impossible that he would have the tapes transcribed to cover up his guilt? I will not trust a man because he pleads me to. I must discern the truth myself. 90[Enter Martha Mitchell.] Hello, Mrs. Mitchell.Martha. Hello, Mr. Jaworski. You contemplate deeply.Jaworski. The ambiguities of our day trouble me.Martha. They trouble us all. Just look around you. Over there the TV shouts for the 95 thousandth time a picture of our President declaring he’ll not resign. And the radio tells of the Court cases against his former aides. And the papers at the newsstand inform the reader that the 100 President should either resign or be impeached! Sometimes I pity the President. I can feel sorry for such a man who’s long time friends are either indicted or leave his side. Oh, so 105 many papers, loyal to him for many years, turn their backs and editorially say he should not be President. It is sad to see a man attacked by former friends.Jaworski. They say, madam, that rats desert a sinking ship. 110 [Exeunt.]

[Enter two Citizens.]1st Person. Well, delete my expletives, if it ain’t ol’ Hal.2nd Person. That’s not funny, Roger. You know that I’m a Nixon man. Nixon’s the greatest President we’ve ever been fortunate to have.1st Person. Come now, dear friend, surely you joke? Have you 115 not read the voluminous blue editions of the edited transcripts?2nd Person. That I’ve done.1st Person. And isn’t it now clear to you that your President is a shameful disgrace? 120 Have you no vision to see a man who let his friends do dirty work while your President stood by and watched? I find the immorality of these transcripts appalling. Why was there no cry 125 of moral indignation sent out?2nd Person. Why friend, do you mean the same transcripts as I? I’ve read fully and thoroughly all the blue bound volumes and I can find nothing at all that incriminates my mind. 130 You must read things that are not there!1st Person. Exactly, all those portions marked, “Not related to Watergate matters.” Hah! The most important parts are not included.2nd Person. You lie, fiend. Have you no trust? 1351st Person. Not in Richard M. Nixon. [Exit 1st Citizen.]2nd Person. Well, I do! [Exit 2nd Citizen.]

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Scene II. Washington, D.C. a Courtroom.

[Enter Judge Sirrica, a Jury, John Dean, H.R. Haldeman, John Ehrlichman, Leon Jaworski, divers lawyers, clerks, Bailiffs, and officers of the Court, Spectators, and Members of the Press.]1st Bailiff. Order in the Court! The Honorable Judge Sirrica, presiding!Sirrica. And what case is now before us?2nd Bailiff. The Watergate defendants, your honor.Sirrica. You three, Dean, Haldeman, and Ehrlichman, charged you’ve been, with conspiracy to a 5 felony, the obstruction of justice, misuse of campaign funds, violations of civil codes and personal liberties. Tried you’ve been both fair and square before this Jury of your peers. How find you these men? 101st Juror. Guilty, as charged.Sirrica. You have been found guilty and sentenced you shall be in three weeks time, though the lowly sentence of the law shall be naught compared with the sentence decreed in heaven against 15 those who have no moral or ethical values. This jury is dismissed. [Exeunt Jury, Dean, Haldeman, Ehrlichman, lawyers, and Spectators.]1st Reporter.‘Twas not very dramatic.2nd Reporter.Aye, a bit of an anticlimax.3rd Reporter.But one well deserved, for they were guilty, no doubt. 202nd Reporter.How can our critics say that we were wrong in digging deep into our government secrets? For has it not now been proven that we were right? If we hadn’t probed and investigated, God alone knows what 25 those three would have done.[Enter James St. Clair, lawyer to Richard.]Sirrica. Let’s have some order here. What case is next?Jaworski. A civil suit, your honor.Sirrica. Namely?Jaworski. The United States versus Richard M. Nixon. 30Sirrica. And what’s the problem?Jaworski. Mr. Nixon, a citizen, has in his possession a number of short tape recordings which contain evidence for the trials of the three just convicted, 35 but on different counts, and many others that await prosecution.Sirrica. And what do you want?Jaworski. As Special Prosecutor I was given the Powers of Subpoena. My subpoenas 40 to the President, and those of my predecessor, have only been partially fulfilled, and only with insignificant documents and tapes, while a vast number of tapes of great importance are withheld. 45 I wish for you to set a final date for the delivery of these tapes to my office.St. Clair. I object!Sirrica. And who are you?St. Clair. St. Clair, lawyer for the President. 50 I object. The President, through long tradition, has the right to keep his personal effects from being examined. It is called the “executive privilege,” first used by Thomas Jefferson. My client 55 pleads that Mr. Jaworski has no right to claim these tapes for use at trial.Sirrica. And what are your clients reasons?St. Clair. They are four fold. A., the long standing executive privilege, for one. B., 60 the tapes contain much irrelevant material, which, if released, would name not only individuals, but their privet confidences with the President. This would hinder the policies of top 65 secret national security. C., if Mr. Jaworski is looking for something on those tapes with which to prosecute the President, he won’t find anything, so his quest is fruitless. And D., which is 70 most likely of greatest importance, should the President be forced to hand over these tapes, he would submit to the Judicial Branch a Power which rightly belongs to the Executive. If this should happen 75 the balance of power, so finely adjusted in our Constitution, will be invariably and irreconcilably altered, to the harm of us all.Sirrica. And why do you need the tapes? 80Jaworski. For the administration of Justice, under the Constitution. ‘Tis that simple.Sirrica. Could you strike a compromise?St. Clair. It’s already been done. Transcripts of all the tapes have been published. A fifth reason 85 for ignoring the subpoenas. It’s all been made public, all the conversations desired by Mr. Jaworski, with all irrelevant security matters deleted. All that you ask for is in print. 90Jaworski. Oh, bull!Sirrica. Order in the Court!Jaworski. I mean, I object! Who edited these transcripts? The President’s own staff I’m told. Am I a fool? No, sir, I’m not naïve! 95 That is no compromise. That’s his defense! How do I know those transcripts are correct? By trusting you? Never! Turn them over, St. Clair. Let Judge Sirrica delete irrelevant data, not the President’s 100 secretary. Let the Courts decide!Sirrica. A fair compromise. In one week deliver me the tapes.St. Clair. No! Who are you, a mere District Court Judge! My client will appeal! He’ll take this to 105 the Supreme Court. Those wise, fair Justices must now decide this case in our favor.Sirrica. So be it. ‘Tis no more in my hands. [Exeunt.]

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Scene III. Washington, D.C. The White House.

[Enter Pat, Julie, and Tricia.]Pat. Happy news this morning, daughters!Tricia. Oh, indeed. The polls have shifted upward. Daddy’s popularity is on the wax, again.Julie. Looks most promising, Mother, for we are on our way out of this conflict. 5Pat. Yes, your Father hath faced many a crises afore, this is but one more. And each time he comes out a stronger man.Tricia. Now all the evidence is out. The transcripts show the public for certain that Daddy 10 knew nothing of these horrid matters. The people believe he is innocent. That’s what counts.Pat. It has been a long and lonely night, my children, to be compared to the Arctic 15 winters, so long has it been since the sun has shown on our house. But hope, like the morning dawn, will always come again. Let’s rejoice for what we’ve got and what will be and what is bound to pass. 20 [Exeunt Julie and Tricia.][Enter Richard and Secret Service Agents.]Richard. It’s all set. I’ve talked to Golda and Leonid. The change will do me so much good. This American atmosphere does no good. Ah, for the sunny sands of those ancient lands of Canaan. The cold invigorating 25 clime of Mother Russia. All packed?Pat. Aye, the blue valise and matching travel luggage.Richard. It will look nice against the parching sands 30 and nomadic peoples.Pat. And fit snug against the snowy Ural peaks.

Richard. An excellent decision, sweet Pat. You are a wonderful wife. Let’s to the helicopter quickly attend, to begin 35 another of our far flung adventures.Pat. Thou, good husband, hast traveled farther than any predecessor. A man of the world, thou art Richard. [Exeunt.]

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Scene IV. Washington, D.C. before the Capitol.

[Enter Howard K. Smith.]Smith. ‘Tis I, Howard K. Smith, your reporter roving about before our nation’s Capitol to bring to you the views of our elected Congressmen on the question of the Impeachment of 5 President Nixon.[Enter a Senator.] Ah, and here’s one. Senator? A word, please.1st Senator. The President has flown. He vacates this City at every chance and runs from his problems. Where is he headed? To that foul 10 city of Moscow, conspiring, in the name of détente, to subvert the will of the people.[Enter another Senator.] He will not survive the summer.Smith. You believe he’ll be impeached? 151st Senator. Tarred and feathered, more likely. [Exit.]Smith. And you, your honor, a short word on the President.2nd Senator. Whew, it’s hot! The President is so smart. He travels to cool Russia where 20 the temperature is more to a man’s suiting.Smith. He’s not running from responsibility?2nd Senator. Foreign affairs are a grave responsibility.[Enter a Representative.] Ah, excuse me, please. [Exit.]Smith. Your views, sir. 25Represent. Ah, yes. I am a Republican by name. My colleagues in the House will approach the President when he returns. For the good of the Party, we will ask him to retire. As of now we can look 30 forward to none but a debacle[Enter a third Senator.] this November. [Exit.]Smith. As you can see, my viewers, opinions are diverse here up on the Capitol’s hill.3rd Senator. May I say a word. 35Smith. Please, be my guest.3rd Senator. Countrymen, inflation sores. Corporations face bankruptcy. The innovative programs of federal health and welfare lie stagnant. Our position as a world 40 power falters. And why is all of this? Because the nation holds its breath while Richard M. Nixon plays out his final scenes. No muscles move. No motion’s made in any direction because we stand, 45 with bodies rigid and mouths agape, to watch the fateful conclusion of one man’s reign. Enough! This grows so so weary. I predict that our nation will crumble if we stand so affixed for much longer. 50 Someone must make a move to prevent a total standstill of our Government. The suspense will kill us all. The man must go or be vindicated. At the rate we now proceed, we shall die from holding our 55 breath and grow morbid from our inactivity. [Exit.]Smith. This is Howard K. Smith, signing off. [Exit.]

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Scene V. Nebraska a Main Street.

[Enter divers Townspeople and Farmers.]1st Farmer. Spring wears on to Summer and still no rain.1st Townp. This must be hard on you farm folk, no doubt.2nd Farmer. Aye, without some rain we’ll have no corn crop this fall, and no soybeans at harvest time.3rd Farmer. At least the wheat is good. 51st Farmer. At least. But corn’s the money crop. All that nutritious protein for those feeding cows.2nd Townsp.I suppose this means food prices will rise, again.2nd Farmer. I don’t know. I’m not the one who controls the price you pay. They pay me what they want, 10 then charge you what they want.3rd Townp. ‘Tis always the middle man what causes all the trouble.3rd Farmer. Him and the Government!1st Townp. Hah! The Government. They can’t do anything 15 right. Wage and Price Controls, humbug!1st Farmer. They’ll never pay us for our corn loses, which they should, for it is a natural disaster.2nd Townp. Bureaucrats! They sit and make petty laws in that granite city of Washington 20 with no thought or knowledge of what life is like out here in the heartland.2nd Farmer. Now, hold on there. Why do you desert our Government? We are America, the greatest country on Earth. Do you declare 25 against this Nation? Do you say evil against the Government? Traitors!3rd Townp. Look, I’ve been a Republican all my entirety. And our President is the greatest that’s ever been. I only 30[Enter Carl Curtis, Senator from Nebraska, Bathe, a farmer, and Walker Cronkite.] wish he would do something about this, our lousy economic state.1st Farmer. And bring a little rain, maybe?Curtis. Look, eastern liberal pressman. This is a true American. Look at his suffering. 35 His agony, the martyred corn. Gone, all gone! Mark my words, eastern liberal pressman, food prices will sore. All the corn is gone.Cronkite. I have come to see first hand, but do not comprehend. What is wrong with the crop I have 40 filmed this morning?Curtis. Fool! ‘Tis burnt and lost of all water content! The worst drought since the Great Depression! This will not produce ne’ry an ear!Bathe. ‘Tis true, Mr. Cronkite, we’ll have to cut 45 it, whole, to feed our cattle at much less than a quarter of its nutritional value than if it were fully grown ears of corn.Cronkite. I see now. A sensible statement. Say, Mr. Bathe, what do you see wrong 50 with the government?Bathe. Well, it isn’t exactly Mr. Nixon’s fault, just too much of a bureaucracy. I think that is what causes inflation, too much government to move before 55 any thing gets done. Or petty little fools who sit in Washington and think they can dictate the quality of life in America. No, this is where it’s at. Here in the Midwest, in Central Michigan, 60 Southern Tennessee, Eastern Vermont, Northern Oregon. This is what America is about. Not the little patch of Potomac landfill where tiny people tell America what’s good for America. 65 Just look about you, Mr. Cronkite. This very state had Signs. Good Signs of Tourist Intent, posted along the Great Highway, to inform the vacationing family of many fine attractions, 70 both pleasing to the visitors and to the State, for it did bring in much needed revenue. But, lo, Wise Men in Washington decreed that our Signs belied the Law of the Land. They were, ‘twas accused, an eyesore 75 along our Public Highway. And if the State would not take them down, then Federal funds to build our roads would stop. This monetary blackmail cut deep and our Governor removed the informative 80 Signs to save our moneys. And that’s not all, Mr. Cronkite, the County Lancaster, where Indian defendants, lawyers, and families awaited Federal trial, distributed to these poor, uprooted by no choice save 85 compellation by the Federal Government, certain stamps by which they could obtain food. Now the County Lancaster overlooked a few minor details to ensure the Indian families wouldn’t starve. 90 But, no! The Federal Bureaucracy declared that no violation could be violated and stopped the disbursement of the food stamps. You say, Mr. Cronkite and Senator Curtis, we wallow in 95 Watergate, but I tell you, sirs wallowing in Bureaucracy is a far worse wasting of America. [Exit.]Curtis. Must have had chores to do. Let’s not hinder further. [Exeunt.]

Monday, December 13, 2010

Scene VI. Israel an Airport.

[Enter Richard, Pat, Golda Meir Secret Service Agents, divers dignitaries, crowds, supporters, and Protesters.]Richard. So this be Israel. A charming little country.Meir. Why, I thank you. It would hardly be our country if it weren’t for Henry Kissinger.Richard. Ah, you mean my instrument of foreign affairs who has brought Peace to your little 5 corner of the world.[Enter Henry Kissinger.] And here’s the man himself.Meir. Hail, kinsman, friend who has saved our land from Arab onslaught. How does it go.Kissinger. I disengage many things these days, but 10 I shan’t wish to disengage the friendship of so charming a lady.Meir. I blush. I bet you haven’t had any real home-made chicken soup since you were but a tiny child in Central Europe. 15Kissinger. Why, no, kind woman that’s one delight I’ve not tasted in any of my far-flung missions.Meir. Well, dear boy, come on up to my apartment and I’ll heat some up for you. Huh?Kissinger. I’d be delighted most gracious Golda. 20 [Exeunt Meir and Kissinger.]Pat. She’s resigning. They blame the war’s inadequate defense on her lonely little body.Richard. I know. ‘Tis a shame to resign.1st Demons. Why don’t you?Richard. I’ll not resign, anonymous liberal 25 heckler. The crowds, Pat, are not so large as in Egypt. My, that was something. A sight to see and cherishingly remember all my life. Seven million, cheering, waving Egyptians came forth to greet me. 30 Here, but a few thousand.

Pat. Security is much tighter, my dear sweet husband. There are oh so many loose and unpredictable Arab Terrorists about. Thy safety is in much peril. 35Richard. We’ll, ‘tis a long enough visit. Henry does well. It’s off to Mother Russia to visit that cold clime and frigid government we’ve tried to warm. [Exeunt.]

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Scene VII. Washington, D.C. The Supreme Court.

[Enter Warren Burger, Chief Justice, divers Supreme Court Justices, crowds, lawyers, members of the press, Leon Jaworski, and James St. Clair.]Burger. The arguments. Mr. Jaworski.Jaworski. Your honors, before you stands a humble man called upon by Destiny to argue against a man whom he has no quarrel with. I’ve not met this man whom I prosecute. 5 Yet, your honors, in truth I believe in what I shall herein present. And I believe it with all my heart and all my soul. In brief, these are my claims. I have been called upon by the Congress, 10 nay, commanded, to investigate and bring to trial all those persons who have done illegal acts in these matters which we have called Watergate. And now, your honors, we’ve got that trial. And for that trial 15 we need evidence. Now, most eminent men of learning, it has come to my attention that Richard M. Nixon, a citizen of this country, has in his possession certain documents and 20 recordings that have, by a lawful magistrate of this land, been declared as evidence for that trial. Thereby an order was issued dually authorized and lawfully executed, subpoenaing 25 these recordings and documents. But, see, your honors, Mr. Nixon has refused this lawful order and now the case is before this High Tribunal of our land.Burger. Mr. St. Clair. 30St. Clair. Your eminence, honors, justices, men of learning, for these you certainly are, listen, and in your wisdom, please listen. I represent Richard Nixon. He, your graces, is not, as my venerable 35 Mr. Prosecutor would have you believe, an ordinary citizen. He has been elected, by the mandate of the people of this land, to serve as President. Your honors, to be effective, faithful 40 in administrating the laws of this land, he must, by the very nature of his office, have over him a certain Privilege that immunes him from poking and prying from every petty tribunal 45 that has a quarrel with his actions. I am not defending the man. I defend the Office. For if you, in your collective wisdom see fit to force the acceptance of this order, then every President 50 throughout eternity will be forced to spend such fruitless hours fighting in court each irate citizen bent on his destruction. Your honors, what desecration of faith will you command if you decide against 55 the President! For surely no Chief Executive’s secrets will e’er be safe, especially when such secrets, as they do, affect our nation, our world, and our very history. How can you let prying 60 minds infilter the innermost strategies of National Security? Then, men of wisdom, what shall be wrought when every factor that makes this democracy strong is exposed to false, malicious minds that 65 have neither respect nor compassion for democratic ways. Think, your honors, and think twice. [Exeunt St. Clair and Jaworski.]Burger. And these are the arguments. We shall go behind closed doors to deliberate this case and issue forth with the answer, when it 70 shall come to us. [Exeunt.]

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Scene VIII. Moscow the Kremlin.

[Enter Richard, Pat, Leonid Brezhnev, and Secret Service Agents.]Brezhnev. I wish to thank you, good friend, for your gift of this Ford Continental Mark IV automobile, which you have so graciously presented to me.Pat. It has the plush interior, carpet, 5 power brakes, air conditioning and bullet proof windows.Richard. ‘Tis a handsome addition to the Cadillac I gave to you upon my last visit.Brezhnev. You are too generous, my friend. 10Pat. ‘Tis nothing. We gave our friend, Sadat, the man of Egypt, a Helicopter!Brezhnev. Really?Richard. Yes. I will miss it, though. ‘Twas a happy green in color. Carried Pat and me 15 many times to and fro the airport.Brezhnev. Must you rush off so soon? You’ve only been here three days. Stay awhile longer and I will show the very best that poor Moscow offers.Pat. We must return, dear Leonid. 20 The nasty press keeps us up with such asinine questions of the like, “When will you return to your Capitol? Why do you stay away from Washington?” Well, I’ll tell you, I don’t like that City. 25 I like to travel. But the liberal press, those nasty men, cannot leave me and poor Richard alone. Well, you newsmen, we return tomorrow. Will they be satisfied? We return on Wednesday. 30Richard. Aye, Wednesday. Oh, fateful day. The Court will rule upon my appeal of the subpoena.Brezhnev. In your favor, I trust. In my country, dear Richard, I have no trouble with the newsmen. I feel that they worry you 35 constantly. You should do something about the media annoyance, as we have done in Mother Russia.Richard. Maybe I should. [Exeunt Richard, Pat, and Secret Service Agents.]Brezhnev. Twenty years ago that man gained our 40 attention by hating communists. He rose through the ranks of America by fighting the enemies of freedom. Poor Nikita. If he hadn’t been Premier and Richard Vice-President, they might have 45 punched each other’s lights out. He hated us so. But now Richard is on top. He can no longer hate his adversaries, for that would trigger events unstoppable. So, mutually assured, we must be friends. 50 Now twenty years ago tempers flared and ideologies may have clashed. But Richard has learned a lesson. You can only get so far on your ideologies. From there to the crest of high history 55 one can only compromise and subvert one’s ideologies for détente. [Exit.]

Friday, December 10, 2010

Scene IX. Washington, D.C. a newsroom.

[Enter Walter Cronkite.]Cronkite. Good evening. The Supreme Court today ruled unanimously against President Richard Nixon when it returned a nine to zero decision that forced the White House to turn over subpoenaed 5 documents and tapes to the Special Prosecutor. The historic decision was climaxed in the courtroom by the reading of Chief Justice Burger. A hushed silence fell upon the court as he ruled that the 10 President must comply with the subpoena and that no man is above the law. This comes as a severe blow to the President’s defense. The Special Prosecutor will have all the tapes that the President 15 has here-to-fore denied him. It is expected that the House Judiciary Committee will now get the material it wants and will begin open debate on the Impeachment of the President next Wednesday. 20 CBS News will be there to cover it, live. President Nixon returned from his foreign travels today. He was met at the airport by several thousand supporters. The Midwestern drought is now in its tenth 25 week, destroying crops and ruining cattle, plunging the breadbasket of this land into natural disaster. Prices are expected to rise. Speaking of inflation, last month it went up one point two percent, 30 the largest monthly rise since statistics have been kept. A grocery basket that cost twenty dollars three years ago now costs twenty-four dollars and fifteen cents. And now here’s Eric Severied 35 with some thoughts on today’s historic Supreme Court decision.[Enter Eric Severied.]Severied. Thank you, Walter. Today’s historic Supreme Court decision is something Richard M. Nixon will not look 40 lovingly to. It is his disaster. The drought that plagues our West is nothing compared to the blow which the Judges of our land have decreed. Mr. Nixon must now give up all those tapes he cherishes. 45 An what’s on those tapes will undoubtedly be damaging to him. But for democracy, for freedom, for human decency we will finally know, once and for all, the true extent of the President’s 50 involvement in Watergate.Cronkite. And that’s the way it is, Wednesday, July Twenty-fourth, Nineteen Seventy-four. [Exeunt.]

Thursday, December 09, 2010

ACT FIVEScene I. Washington, D.C. The Capitol.

[Enter Peter Rodino, Chairman of the House Committee on the Judiciary, Wiggins, Sandman, and Other Members of the House Committee on the Judiciary, a Clerk, Members of the Press, and divers Spectators.]Rodino. Again we renew this debate, namely that the President of the United States shall be impeached by the House of Representatives upon these three bills. One, he has obstructed the administration of justice. Two, 5 he has used the powers of the Presidency in a manner which is abusive and has repeatedly engaged in conduct violating the rights of free men. Three, the President, in contempt of Congress, 10 has repeatedly failed to comply with the will of the House of Representatives. Mr. Wiggins.Wiggins. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been, for all my life a faithful and regular 15 Republican, a long and loyal supporter of Richard M. Nixon. For five months, now, I’ve not slept, nor have any of my colleagues upon this Committee. These long and frightful months lay 20 heavy upon us, for we have learned in full and hideous detail, the ways and means by which the American public has been subverted by their elected leader. I hold that Richard M. Nixon 25 is responsible for the action of his aides. No man should be so reckless, so naïve as to let the likes of Haldeman and Ehrlichman bungle their jobs unknowing or uncaring of the consequence. We have 30 heard the testimony of how the President tried to ignore this thing called Watergate and then how he tried to control its destructive impetus. But we were denied the full story. Denied the most 35 important tapes and documents. This Wednesday last, the President was ordered to hand over the tapes. But, lo, he and his staff dilly-dally and claim that they must be cross referenced. This 40 Committee is yet denied. But the House will not be denied! America will not be denied the truth. In Contempt of Congress, in Obstruction of Justice, the President should be impeached. 45 The agony of this decision cannot be measured in time nor money. I have deserted my Party, a grave result, but I sincerely feel that I have made the right decision and my soul will not 50 trouble me. I place my support, and my confidence, in the American People.Rodino. Mr. Sandman.Sandman. The Gentleman from California speaks true. None of us have slept these past months. 55 The sick agony of a sleepless soul, searching through the midst of twelve volumes of testimony, come now I to defend the President. Perhaps this is more a question of proportionalities. 60 If a man should hire two servants and these men should prove to be loyal and faithful servants, who to protect the interests of their master, perform mischief and other things of illegal intent, 65 how can you condemn the master for protecting, in turn, his loyal servants? This is what I find here in these Watergate scandals. The wrongs committed, in the name of loyalty, are fairly 70 flown out of all decent proportion. I cannot condemn this man! I find, in my soul, in my heart, in my prayers, that this man cannot be impeached for the trivial acts of his subordinates. 75Rodino. The Committee will now take a vote. There shall be a short recess. [Exeunt all save Two Members of the Press.]1st Reporter.Why the unscheduled pause?2nd Reporter.Methinks the rumor of a bomb.1st Reporter.A bomb! While all of history hangs 80 in the balance?2nd Reporter.‘Tis a maxim. Terrorists will always strike those in the public eye.1st Reporter.Shall we not flee, e’er we be blown sky high? And never learn if the President be 85 impeached or not!2nd Reporter.Security will check the rumor and clear us from all harm. The Committee will vote shortly. I think they return even as I speak.[Re-enter the Committee, Members of the Press, and Spectators.]Rodino. And now that the coast is clear, we shall proceed 90 to the vote. In favor of recommending that the full House impeach Richard M. Nixon, raise your right hand. Opposed, the same. Clerk, the results, if you please.Clerk. Mr. Chairman, twenty-four in favor, 95 fifteen opposed.Rodino. The Committee on the Judiciary concludes its business. A full bill of Impeachment will be delivered unto the House of Representatives. 100 What has passed herein has been done. May it be deemed just. Committee adjourned. [Exeunt.]

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Scene II. Washington, D.C. The White House.

[Enter Richard, Ron Ziegler, Gerald Ford, and Secret Service Agents.]Richard. You, Ron and Gerald, are the only two friends I have left. All others have deserted me, or languish somewhere behind iron bars. Even the farmers and truck drivers call me names! 5Ziegler. You have a great following, Mr. President. Why, forty percent of this nation’s population consider you innocent, the greatest man ever to sit within the Oval Office. 10Richard. While over fifty consider me an exile already. The secretaries across the street have drawn amongst themselves a pool to guess by what majority the House will impeach me. I have never 15 seen things so dark. Perhaps I should come full clean abreast with the problem. I will go and give the public the truth.Ziegler. I hearken to the phone, Mr. President, but I do not think such a scheme would play 20 in Peoria. [Exit Ziegler.]Richard. “Play it in Peoria.” A phrase that Haldeman used to use. Vile contempt, how wretched your target! For Bob was a fair and decent man who could turn 25 the English language on its ear. It’s sad, and reprehensible that evil conceptions emerge in America’s mind when it hears “played in Peoria.” A phrase which has magic 30 descriptive qualities.Ford. [Aside.] Descriptive of nothing more fetid than the fooling of America’s common folk.Richard. You know, Jerry, he coined “plumbers”. To fix the leaks. Very clever. I think so much 35 more clever than what you have on television. “At this point in time.” “To the best of my recollection, I can’t recall.” What perfidious assaults on the art of human communication! The fault with 40 the world today, Jerry, is that we are all embogged by the dialect of the bureaucrat. O, for men with Haldeman’s command of the English language.Ford. ‘Tis something for me to agree on. 45Richard. I’m going to tell you something, Jerry. Something I haven’t even told Pat. The tapes, which Jaworski now has, contain a certain segment that may be misinterpreted by the general public. 50Ford. I do not so doubt the public’s wisdom, Mr. President.Richard. It will appear that I learned of these matters Watergate four days before I have previously said that I did. It will 55 also appear that I agreed to dispatch these matters before they could do my administration harm. I hope the public will not misjudge my motives, for they were not evil, were not bred 60 of any massive abuse.Ford. And what were your motives?Richard. To save my skin, Jerry. To emerge with my hide intact. What more could a man in my position do? What I told Ron is 65 a good idea. I will go before this nation and tell them the truth.Ford. ‘Twill be the fifth time you’ve told them the truth.Richard. Perhaps they will believe me this time. [Exeunt.]

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Scene III. Nebraska a Main Street.

[Enter divers Townspeople and Farmers.]1st Townp. He finally admitted it. The man’s a crook. I always said he was.1st Farmer. I admit that certain illegal things were committed, but all of them by his aides. The President had no hand in the 5 execution of these treacheries.1st Townp. But, by my hand, he knew about it, and by my hand, that is even worse!2nd Townp. Two’ll get you five, Gerald Ford’ll be President by Friday. 101st Townp. You’re on, boy! Tricky Dicky will worm his way from behind this rotten apple. [Exeunt.]

Monday, December 06, 2010

Scene IV. Washington, D.C. The White House.

[Enter Richard, Gerald Ford, Carl Albert, Secret Service Agents, and divers Senators and Representatives.]Richard. Thank you, gentlemen, for coming to me this morning to present your views.Albert. I hope you take our words to heart and abide by the things we have said. For it is in the name of the nation 5 that we ask you these things. [Exeunt Albert, Senators, and Representatives.]Richard. I ask you, Jerry, how many backstabbers are there in the world. Monday I announce the extent of my entire guilt and on Tuesday morn the assorted kingpins 10 of Capitol Hill come to call for my resignation. Will you make a good President, Jerry?Ford. I pray I may never be given the chance.Richard. But if worse comes to worst, could you 15 handle the job?Ford. I imagine I could.[Enter Henry Kissinger.] Hello, Henry.Kissinger. Mr. Ford, it is time for your briefing on foreign affairs in the week upcoming. 20Richard. Ah, Henry, when is my briefing?Kissinger. I don’t think one will be necessary, sir. [Exeunt Ford, Kissinger, and Secret Service Agents.]Richard. Diogenes searched for an honest man. In truth he quested for a fool. [Exit.][Enter Carl Albert, Carl Curtis, and Howard K. Smith.]Smith. Mr. Speaker, what did you’re group tell the 25 President?Albert. We explained that his administration has done disaster to the foundations of government and we asked him to resign before the damage becomes 30 irreparable.Smith. Is that true, Senator Curtis?Curtis. Young reporter, it is the duty of every Citizen to stand by his President, right or wrong, he is our 35 Government. The action proposed today by my colleagues is repulsive. The United States of America cannot operate in such a manner. Shall we become nothing but a Banana 40 Republic, whereby the election of a leader lasts only as long as the vested minority concurs? Are we to face the ordeal of our President succumbing to the capricious fate of the opinion 45 poll? Will America someday be placed at the level where foreign dispatches shall read that a bloodless coup has resulted in the ouster of another president? We can not allow this Republic to 50 become allied with the forces of sad instability and arrogant whim. We shall not have a government who’s sole objective is to maintain the balance of factional power long enough to 55 control the Radio Station in the Capitol. All this, young reporter I foresee, if Richard M. Nixon is forced to resign. [Exeunt.]

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Scene V. Washington, D.C. before the White House.

[Enter Walter Cronkite.]Cronkite. That Everyman of Stage, our Chorus, who’s role, it seems, is naught but bane to ‘mused endurance, asks that you please hold onto your patience. For the Chorus, it is true, has been unavoidably and really 5 quite unfortunately detained. You see, my sources tell me that as he relaxed ‘tween acts, as was his want, he was attacked by muggers mean, who down the darkened halls did flee. Franticly the Producer calls 10 to ask, a veteran media man, to come forward at her clever command, to entertain you, patrons of the arts. And if the actors have played well their parts You might now guess how this fine Play turns out. 15 In your minds, have we left you any doubt? So, please, attend with quickened reaction the final scenes of Richard M. Nixon. [Exit.][Enter John Chancellor.]Chancellor. This is John Chancellor, good evening. The death watch has begun. Although 20 the White House denied rumors today that Mr. Nixon was about to resign, we have just learned the President has asked for network television time for an address this evening. I, personally, 25 believe it is almost over. And that is the belief of almost everyone here in Washington. About mid-afternoon they started gathering across from the White House. People, just people, coming 30 from their homes, drawn by some unnamed urge, sensing with an inner sense that the time of Richard Nixon had drawn near. It is dark and stormy. The street lights have already come on. The crowd divides 35 itself between two groups. One is in the park, clustered around the statue of Andrew Jackson, singing hymns and praying for guidance. The other is out on the sidewalk, chanting, “it’s all over.” 40 Then there are those of us, drawn here, compelled to be without these premises, where history is about to take place. [Exit.]

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Scene VI. Washington, D.C. The White House.

[Enter Richard.]Richard. My fellow Americans, it is difficult for me to face you tonight. I…I…how can I say I’m sorry? Through me this nation has been plunged to the greatest depths of division since 5 the War of the Rebellion. I can only say that I tried to stop it, to save our country from the years of turmoil past. But, in my misjudgment, the actions I took only happened to inflame 10 the situation. I have had a meeting with the leaders of our Legislative Branch. They inform me that my base of support in the Congress has eroded to the point where I am no longer an effective 15 Chief Executive. It is my conclusion that a ruler who cannot rule, should not rule. Because I can no longer execute the Powers of this Office, my resignation will be upon the 20 desk of the Secretary of State at tomorrow noon. I do this to heal the nation’s wounds, to somehow bind up and start again. For the Government these past few months has slowed to a stop, spectators all, 25 to this ghastly affair which I conclude tonight.[Enter Pat, Julie, and Tricia.] ‘Tis over, family. It’s all over.Julie. Father, do no weep. Do not weep. Your sorrow showed. It was clear to every eye and ear that tonight the most noble man 30 on earth has done his duty.Tricia. We are with you, father. No matter what happens, we are a family, used to accepting the troubles as they come. We have weathered many storms, and tonight 35 we are at your side.Pat. Come on to bed, Richard. There is nothing left to do. All has been done, all has been accomplished. There are no more heights, because heaven is all around us. As it crumbles, 40 we, and the world, will remember forever the righteous things you have accomplished.Richard. I feel nothing. The jelly here within my soul has been drained. No emotion sparks my inner self. I am empty. There is 45 no contempt. No sorrow. No anger. No joy. No regret. No relief. There is nothing. [Exeunt Pat, Julie, and Tricia.] Except a hatred that paints my black soul and boils within me from my very toes. A hatred of those evil men who plotted 50 my downfall and those that spread their vile words across the face of America. For the Press, I will not even delete my expletives. [Exit.]

Friday, December 03, 2010

Scene VII. Washington, D.C. a newsroom.

[Enter Eric Severied.]Severied. Ladies and Gentlemen, you have seen history. President Richard M. Nixon, with the anguish of his guilt upon his face, resigned tonight. Tomorrow at noon, Gerald R. Ford will be sworn in as 5 the thirty-eighth president. We have a report from Chicago that the streets are quiet and there is no trouble. Other parts of the country are reported calm. It was learned moments ago 10 that military leaders at the Pentagon had formulated a course of action if Richard Nixon had tried to seize control of the military. The final chapter in Watergate 15 is all but over with the resignation of Mr. Nixon. It all started one innocuous night in June and leaves behind it the charred corpses of almost every politician who tried to 20 contain it. Watergate has destroyed the most powerful man in America, the most powerful man in the world. It is proof that our democracy exists, not only on paper, but in the minds of 25 our citizens and in one essential element, the Press. For without the medium of mass communication, this whole thing might never have come about. [Exit.]

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Scene VIII. Washington, D.C. The White House.

[Fanfare; Enter Gerald R. Ford, as President of the United States.]Ford. I wept for him. I prayed for him. I watched him say good-bye to the only people who were still faithful to him, those five hundred White House servants. They loved him and stood with him. It almost broke 5 my heart to see him smile, to shake hands and wave, like it was downtown Cairo. Behind that plastic mask must have been the saddest man since Christ. I almost choked as he boarded the helicopter and flashed his 10 victory sign, arms upheld, his family smiling from behind. I can imagine only what he must have felt inside. I pray for Richard M. Nixon and his family. May he, who brought peace to millions, 15 find it for himself. And as his plane carried him westward, to the sands of San Clemente, I said, “I do” to the oath of office, pledged to guard the Constitution with all the powers 20 within me. Our Constitution works; our great Republic is a government of laws and not of men. Here the people rule. But there is a higher power, by whatever name we honor Him, 25 who ordains not only righteousness, but love; not only justice, but mercy. As we bind up the internal wounds of Watergate, more painful and poisonous than foreign wars, let us 30 restore the Golden Rule to our political process. How is it we can learn to hurl ourselves down a crowded highway at speeds not even matched by the sparrows above, but cannot teach each other brotherly love? 35 [Exit.]

Our Current Feature

Previous Memoirs

The Antarctic Journal of a Young Man (1975) by S. A. McCormick begins on December 16, 2006.

Loose Ends (1929-1959) by K.A. McCormick begins on April 13, 2007.

Life Sketch (1863-1902) by H.A. McCormick, Sr. begins on April 29, 2007.

Excerpts from the 1918 Wynot Tribune begin on June 2, 2007. The Wynot Tribune was published by H.A. McCormick, Sr.

Under One Roof is a father and son comparison of the same small town events as viewed from both sides of the generation gap. It begins on September 15, 2007.

Auburn and Nemaha County, Soicial and Economic Trends, 1960-2003 begins on August 10, 2008. This is original research by Ken McCormick on the recent economic history of small-town Auburn, the county seat of Nemaha County, Nebraska. Although it is strictly the effort of an amateur historian (not being peer-reviewed or anything), Mr. McCormick's analysis and conclusions stand on their own merit.

The Prairie Curmudgeon. Having finally run out of material about small towns in the Midlands, I am temporarily forced to publish crusty, ill-tempered opinions of old men.

Eduard of Nemaha, a Comedy in Five Acts. This play was begun in 1973. Nemaha and Peru are two small towns in southeast Nebraska. For those of you who have perused The Antarctic Journal of a Young Man, you have already met Debrushka.

Richard M. Nixon, a Play in Five Acts

This play was concieved in 1973. It is an impression of the great tapestry of news and history as perceieved from the distance of a small town in the Midlands.