PITTSBURGH - Ex-middle school security guard Thomas Hose was sentenced today to a term of five to 15 years for kidnapping and holding hostage former Teamsters President Jimmy Hoffa from July 30, 1975 until February of last year. Hoffa was finally released from his captivity when he walked into a McKeesport convenience store, JJ's Deli Mart, and asked the owner to help him.

At Hose's sentencing hearing, Hoffa and AFL-CIO President John Sweeney testified. Sweeney pronounced himself “ecstatic” that “we’ve got our Jimmy back.” In Hoffa's emotional testimony, he claimed he was brainwashed by Mr. Hose, a svengali-like figure who lived with his elderly parents. “Every time I said I thought I should be getting back to the office, he told me I was crazy. He told me they weren’t even looking for me anymore, and that nobody loved me except him. And former President Nixon, of course,” said Hoffa, before bursting into tears and excusing himself. Mr. Hose was also sentenced for keeping twenty-four year old Tanya Kach in an upstairs bedroom for ten years, but Mr. Hoffa testified he never saw her. Hoffa testified that "I had my own problems." For example, he explained, "many times when Mr. Hose’s mother did the wash, I had to stand still for hours while she hung her unmentionables on my arms to dry.” Sweeney testified that the very mention of Mr. Hose’s name can trigger mood swings in Hoffa. “One minute he’s plotting to return to power, the next minute he’s sobbing uncontrollably.”

In related news, police refused to confirm reports that they have uncovered evidence showing that famed aviator Amelia Earhart also was a prisoner in the Hose home for a time before her death several years ago.