My 'Blurt' Prologue...

My story is a long one. Though, now that my life is on track- it feels like just that.A Story. Maybe someone else's story? I don't know.. Who would have thought this would begin from trying to learn how to touch type?This is where the idea of typing about my life, my story, on a screen begins. Surely, by the time I have finished pouring my heart out onto a blank canvas, putting it into words for someone other than me to understand, I should be able to type 60 words per minute andmy soul will be lighter. My head will be clearer. I will be complete...

Saturday, April 14, 2012

51) Stage 6- Recovery...

We cannot seem to step apart without stepping on our own hearts... Every movement that takes things closer to the end of it all. Control. Who has the control of the situation? Who can be the most stubborn or self righteous? Words just getting miscontrewed for the sake of trying to pass the blame on to one another. Spite and frustration. Helplessness. Limbo. Continuously revisting each issue, each emotion, each time and trying to find some sense. To understand. To find peace....

You are in a bad place. I realise that you are worse off than me emotionally. I once had enought faith for the both of us, but now you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. By walking away from me, you are walking away from my faith. I live by quotes and sayings, finding my strength in having a plan but believing it leads us to the next amazing thing no matter how much pain has to come first.

I AM broken hearted, and I AM a little angry and hurt that you can't give me another try. I have never betrayed you. I would never betray you....

I am terrified for you. I want to comfort you and make it alright again. I want you to believe in yourself. I am just collateral damage in your own self destruction. This was nothing that I did, and there is nothing more that I could have done.

BUT I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU... I would never turn you away if you were to come to me. I would support you through anything. No amount of time would ever go by that if you came to me- I would do anything for you. I just pray that you find the strength to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and channel your stubborness into a success. I never want to see you fail and know that you can make it through anything and are more than capable of achieving everything. You just need to believe in yourself.

I will never change who I am.... I know exactly who I want to be. I don't care that I begged you to take me back or that you have all the power and I have none. I love you and don't want to you to walk out of my life. There is a difference in retaliation and taking action. I was only doing what I felt you just weren't strong enough to do... I am just trying to put your decisions into action so that I can get through. I need a new plan and I can't make one without you in it- when I feel like there is still hope...

But, no matter what happens, or how you perceive my actions.....
I promise, I will never let you down.... I am ME and 'This Too Shall Pass'
XO

Words that are close to my Heart.

Words are a powerful thing. These are words written by others that mean something to me, inspired me or given me a code to live by...
They can be found in labels- 'Quotes' and 'Close to my heart' I'll let you know at the end of each one where I have stolen it from and categorise them to how they are appropriate to me.... :) I hope you enjoy the words that are closest to my heart...

About Me

So far in my life I have been-
A baby sitter/ Nanny
A Customer Service Assistant @ Wendys, Beechworth Bakery, Safeways, McDonalds AND KFC...
A Barista
...A cold caller
A photgraphers Assistant
A receptionist
A dry cleaners Assistant
A licensed security guard/Guard Supervisor
A child care worker
A control room operator
A delivery driver for a florist
A book editor
A swimming instructor
Did party plan selling alcohol and aromatherapy
I have been practically homeless but thanks to amazing people, never had to sleep on the street...
And now I'm 22 and a-
Mum/Susie Housewife/Significant Other/Phlebotomist/Spray Tanning Therapist/Resume writing/Cake, cupcake and muffin Decorating aspiring Midwife...
And then comes... Blogging..