a party and a wish

We had a party tonight to celebrate my birthday. I’m so glad we did this – so glad we celebrated in the midst of such an overall crappy time in our lives. We have to live somehow, don’t we? And good food, stinky cheese, and tasty wine while surrounded by friends gave us our lives for just a little bit.

I made a wish as I blew out the candles. Everyone knows the essence of that wish. But can they know the desperation?

Please let this cycle work. Please let us have a healthy pregnancy. Please let us take home a healthy baby. It’s so much and so little at the same time. Please, please, please – to whomever is listening – please let it be. Let it become real.

I had my first follicle scan today – he counted 4 on each ovary (he doesn’t always count all of them) ranging in size from 7 to 13. Upped my dose slightly and predicted that trigger will be Tuesday or Wednesday. I think Wednesday.

13 Responses to “a party and a wish”

Mrs. Hope, I was standing right in front of you and I saw you close your eyes when you made that wish. I honestly FELT you make that wish. It was as if you had said it aloud. I wished it for you, too. I wished with all my might. And I think the entire room sent out a collaborative, hopeful request. Thank goodness you have so many wonderful people to surround you, support you, and wish right along with you. Now I just wish wishing were enough.

Mrs. Hope, I’m wishing for you to have that healthy baby, too. I came across your blog after reading the Statesman article. I’m in Hopeville, too, and we share the same doctor. Like you, I am a multiple IVFer…just had 2nd retrieval on Wed. and awaiting 5 day transfer on Mon. I decided to post to let you know that you have someone else, along with your many friends here, rooting for you. I also wanted to thank you for putting your thoughts out there for all of us to read. I agree with you on so many levels but just can’t express it in the same eloquent manner as you. Good luck, and I’ll be thinking about you. Erin