The Smart Balance between Stressful Life and Release Is What You Need

Living in this decrepit metropolitan city can be really depressing.
So, what’s new right? Face it, it’s hard to follow grandma’s
advice to always think positively and always make sure that I’m
surrounded by positive energy in this place.

How could I? I wake up every morning with my throat and nose
full of weird stuff I inhaled from the supposedly fresh flow of oxygen
from the air conditioner in my bedroom I set it at maximum strength every
night or else I would spend the night covered in a layer of unhealthy
gooey sweat. Don’t you dare to suggest that I open the window and
breathe in the fresh air while I am sleeping! I might end up looking slightly
blue when I wake up in the morning, if I wake up that is.

Then I climb in the bathtub to soak my body in the yellowish
water seeping from the half-blocked shower head. It serves me well; hey
what kind of Indonesian girl does not want to have nice pale skin (yellowish
skin to be precise, or ‘kuning langsat’ skin as advertised
by hundreds of whitening cosmetic companies) instead of the beautiful
brownish tan I naturally have? It doesn’t really matter that the
yellow colour actually originates from a questionable mix of rust and
mineral deposits.

After this rejuvenating regime, piles of works usually greet
me, which would be okay if there was actually real work to be done–
which means that I’m actually making a bit of money instead of wasting
the cheerful morning like I do most of the bloody time.

The good old socialising methods, where people actually meet
and talk face to face, sound like a crime today when emails, video calls
and SMS serve the same function. And you can avoid the hassle of dehydrated
teeth due to the act of plastering a friendly, though usually false, smile
on my face, the traffic jammed trips and God forbid - physical touches
and friendly gestures! They are so last century.

Work, no healthy socialising, shitty air and water quality, traffic
jams – I don’t have to be Einstein to figure out that the
MC2 is a highly stressful lifestyle. I could end up looking scarier than
a stuffed Keith Richard if I do not do anything about it. Release me,
my precious. What do I do? What should you do to release the stress? And
don’t give me that snobbish spiel saying ‘Oh, I’m fine
here, life is beautiful, I’m enjoying it, care for a cup of tea
dear?’ Well, stuff the tea my dear, because I’m not buying
it.

When I think about it, there are handfuls of stress releasing
activities in this city. There are the nearby beaches and golf courses,
cinemas, hundreds of interesting hobbies to take up, and did I mention
the beaches already? The beaches are wonderful. Ancol, north of Jakarta
for example, is a breath of fresh air with its finicky dress code found
nowhere else in the world. The beach’s visitors are urged to wear
long blue jeans, T-shirts, and black leather jackets. Don’t try
to sunbathe there, wearing your latest D&G bikini if you don’t
want to be gawked at by drooling males, snotty kids, mutant seagulls and
God knows what else.

The stretch of Anyer and its little beach minions to the west
of Jakarta are also quite amusing. You can’t really snorkel there,
because underwater visibility is less than five meters and there’s
nothing to see except the long waste pipe from the nearby industrial complex.

For the good-hearted humble people, charity is often the chosen
stress releasing activity. Amateurs usually start their noble acts by
giving cash to the police officers when they’re pulled over on the
street for not being able to read the traffic regulations written in a
tiny font on the street signs while not speeding with their cars (who
can speed on Jakarta streets anyway?). Taking young ‘jockeys’
for a three-in-one ride and giving them five thousand rupiah per trip
can be also classified as an act of charity, for it improves the welfare
of street children in Jakarta. And for the aged, depressed whoosh –
well, they can always play golf to relief the burdens of their lives.

For my personal stress relief I chose to take up tending a marine
aquarium as a hobby. Ages ago, my biology teacher told me: ‘If you
can’t watch marine animals in their original habitat, you can always
set up your own marine habitat in an aquarium in your home!’ So
I did just that.

My marine aquarium has got about a dozen fish that look a bit
out of place living in a glass box adorned with colourful live corals.
Now I can happily say that I can maintain my sanity against the daily
stresses of life, plus give job opportunities to those people who earn
a bit of money from chipping away at the precious coral reef. Hey, they
spend their days fighting for their dear lives against the wild tropical
current while probably poisoning themselves with cyanide as they try to
tranquilize fish at the bottom of the ocean.

It’s the balance between the stress and the release that you need
folks. After all, to be able to live and earn money in this colourful
city – one pays one’s dues.