Discussions of Mental Health Issues for Gender Variant and Transgender Individuals, Friends and Family with posts by NYC Psychotherapist Ami B. Kaplan, LCSW.

Poll Results – Hiding and Gender Variance

by Ami B. Kaplan, LCSW on September 4, 2013

I’ve been interested in the issue of hiding and its effect on the personality for transgender individuals for some time and have had a poll going on my website to ask questions about it. Even though the results have been “open”, not all results are visible (the text answers), so I’ve now closed the poll and am publishing the results here. It’s a four question poll. It was up from April 2011 till Sept 2013.

1.Was your family aware of your gender variance when you were growing up?

# of responses%

they were not aware of it 24 33%

not sure, probably not 16 22%

not sure, probably were 18 25%

they were aware of it 14 19%

2.For how long did you keep your gender variance secret from those closest to you?

# of responses%

I never hid it 10 14%

Less than a year <1 5 7%

one to five years 1-5 3 4%

five to ten years 5-10 2 3%

ten to twenty years 10-20 26 38%

more than twenty years >20 23 33%

3. If you actively hid your gender variance, what do you think the positive (if any) effects were on you?

# of responses%

I didn’t hide it from others 10 15%

Hiding my gender variance had no positive effects on me 47 72%

Other: 8 12%

(text results for “other)

“Passing as cisgender normal allowed me to use male privilege and advantages.”

“It gave me time to figure things out, and prepare for negative reactions. “

“I didn’t have to fight for treatment before I was grown up and able to figh “

“This action has given me time to understand myself better.”

“Kept me safe “

“I have had a very satisfying family life. “

“i kept friends and family”

“Independence”

4. If you actively hid your gender variance, what do you think the negative (if any) effects were on you?

I’m now 60 and hid my gender dysphoria since I was in preschool, which led to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem until about a year ago as I learned more about myself and accepted myself. I don’t think there were any positive aspects to hiding all this for so long, but I felt such intense shame that I could not have it any other way.