God, you know what I hate about intact, living female bodies? YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP. It's like, can't you bitches see I'm trying to play my open-world action role-playing game right now!!?!?!?? Amirite, dudes? Seriously. But then—conundrum!—the thing about female bodies is that female bodies is where they keep the titties. How am I supposed to enjoy titties without the din of lady-caused yapping distracting me from my simulated zombie-murder? Dead Island: Riptide, that's how. Self-high-five.

The "Zombie Bait" special edition of Dead Island: Riptide (in which four people "find themselves on the island of Palanai in the Banoi archipelago, when it has been overrun by zombies," and commence to "flesh-mulching" posthaste) comes with a very special bonus accessory: A big-boobied, bikini-clad, gore-dripping woman torso! It's like a regular woman, only made of easy-wipe, low-maintenance plastic, and without all those inconvenient talky and grabby parts that are usually attached. Finally, a fuck-torso for my generation!

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Okay but no seriouslyseriouslyseriously, what is this FOR? Decoration? Snuggling? Uhhhhhh...I literally can't even think of a third joke option. It is nothing but a piece of garbage that signals to the world that you do not think of women as fully-formed human beings. Because if you did, this would catch in your throat like it does in mine. Women are so completely reduced to our bodies in this culture that even in death—our personalities and faces erased—you still find us sexually attractive. Because titties!!! Even if you don't consciously think of it that way (it's just a game! It's fun to shoot zombies!), that is the subtext of this sexy bonus-torso. That is the consequence (well, one consequence) of the fetishization of dead women. And that's a craaaaaaaaaaazy thing to want to telegraph to the people around you.

We deeply apologize for any offense caused by the Dead Island Riptide "Zombie Bait Edition", the collector's edition announced for Europe and Australia. Like many gaming companies, Deep Silver has many offices in different countries, which is why sometimes different versions of Collector's Editions come into being for North America, Europe, Australia, and Asia.

For the limited run of the Zombie Bait Edition for Europe and Australia, a decision was made to include a gruesome statue of a zombie torso, which was cut up like many of our fans had done to the undead enemies in the original Dead Island.

We sincerely regret this choice. We are collecting feedback continuously from the Dead Island community, as well as the international gaming community at large, for ongoing internal meetings with Deep Silver's entire international team today. For now, we want to reiterate to the community, fans and industry how deeply sorry we are, and that we are committed to making sure this will never happen again.