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Cleaning and Sex. Maybe not in that order though.

It was fun having those Best of 2008 scheduled to post this week. It has given me a sort of freedom. I haven't been stressing to come up with these mind blowing posts for you. Well, today I want to start a great conversation with you lovely ladies that read my blog. Earlier I posted an "Ask Supermom" and was given two very great wonderful questions. I took the time yesterday to respond to them. The more I thought about them the more I wanted to share them with you.

K-here's my questions and the first is more general and the second may be too personal for you to answer (I'll understand if you skip the 2nd but you did say we could ask anything right?!?!

1-how do you stay organized and clean your house and keep up w/ laundry w/ 4 children?

2-and did I mention this one is quite personal...on average how often do you and your husband have sex? My husband and I just talked about this last night-our sex life is pathetic but I've just lost all desire lately...being home w/ a 5 year old and 2 year old by the end of the day I am just exhausted and the last thing on my mind is sex. Do other stay at home moms deal w/ this or should I get checked out by a professional??? :)

Weren't those great questions to ask Supermom??? I thought so.

Here is my response to how I keep my house running and organized.

Well, for me once you get organized the rest is upkeep. I always tell my kids when things are laying around, "Give it a home, make it happy". Everything should have a place and that's where it goes. If you want my advice I would suggest taking the time to organize the house. Give everything a home. Once you have done that, the hard part is over.

Every day I do a 10 minute tidy. Sometimes it is 10 minutes and sometimes it is more. Usually before bed I pick up and put everything where it goes. There is no way I could go to bed with toys all over the place or a messy kitchen.

I know it may seen daunting to do it all at once but believe me, once you have it together it really is upkeep from then on. I have no problem giving to Goodwill. I once read an article about how Americans believe in KEEPING EVERY FREAKING THING!! Trust me, you don't have to keep everything that you once touched!!! I don't do that and I love that about me. Does that make me not a sentimental woman? NO!! I keep things that have emotional value. Pictures from the kids. Things they have given me. Some schoolwork. What I didn't keep were the things that clutter the house and my emotions!

Moving on to my next answer about my sex life. Or the lack of my having one.

Well, since having baby number 4 our sex life isn't like it used to be. Soooo not like it used to be. It's hard to balance life, kids and sex. Then there is the guilt.

Yes, I miss sex. Not as much as Superdad but I still miss our quiet time.

I think for us we have to set a date and stick to it.

DAMN THAT WOMAN WHO GAVE HER HUSBAND SEX EVERY DAY FOR A YEAR FOR HIS BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

It isn't as morbid as it sounds but setting a date for sex might be a good start. Even if it's only a quickie. Which would be the case with all the kids in the house.

I know exactly what you mean. Being exhausted. It sucks the life out of you and sex is the last thing on your mind. After being home with the kids. Being sucked on. Crawled all over. The last thing you want is your husband doing the above. It's okay to feel that way BTW. Sex isn't the only way to show your spouse you love them. How about holding each other in bed without strings attached? How about a morning shower before he goes to work? I have thought about doing that with my husband but once I get up the baby wakes up. Your kids are older so you could get away with it better than I could.

I don't think a professional is needed IMPO. I think talking to each other and knowing that it's okay to feel that way is the key.

Just think the kids will be older and you'll be doing it like rabbits before you know it!! That's what I hope for anyway.

Did that help any? Perhaps I should turn this into a blog post question to see how other people feel?????

So here I am turning to subject to my readers. Other moms who take care of the children, run a house, work outside the home and try to have some sort of sex life with their partner. Are you able to talk to your spouse about sex? Does it cause friction between you two? How do you handle it? Do you give in so they will hush? Just insert your opinion to the above or bring something else to the table in my comment section.

I know this is a topic that everyone faces! Not just a select few.

Let's talk about sex, babyLet's talk about you and meLet's talk about all the good thingsAnd the bad things that may beLet's talk about sexLet's talk about sexLet's talk about sexLet's talk about sex

Oh an the best part of my broken tailbone? That sex isn't something we have to feel guilty about not having anymore! ;)

And I totally agree with scheduling it. Also I need a drink first ;) Before the injury we had tried to make Friday night sex night. With 2 kids and one still nursing and in the bed spontaneity is out... I need to know ahead of time to get people moved around where they need to be. If I'm feeling spontaneous than we put a much anticipated show on and book it to the bedroom. Let's face it the deed only takes 5 minutes ... 15 w/ cuddling ;) But since having kids the responsibility really falls on me to set things up. Mr F can get stymied by all the kid induced stumbling blocks and think that there is no way to make it work.

And if they are getting it on...apparently Friday night is the night of choice! That's our so called date night as well but let's just say we've missed it for quite a while now (and it is ALL my fault!)....

Thanks for the terrific advice on both cleaning and sex...of which neither one is happening at my house! I think you hit the nail on the head for me in both categories-I need to throw out, throw out, throw out....all this clutter makes my entire life seem chaotic which in turn makes me exhausted which in turn, means no sex at this house! :)

OK-I'm off to read the sex poll on Mrs. F's site....thanks ladies!!! You're the best!

Mrs F. I knew what you meant about the movie. We used to do that with Lil O. Ha Ha! Want to watch that NEW Backyardigans DVD?? Then quietly but quickly run to the bedroom!! That's probably how we got preg with Baby M.

Perhaps I should have a lil drink before hand too. Sounds like a way to relax a bit!

Just to be different I won't pick Friday for sex night. Since I have older kids, Friday they are allowed to stay up later. Hmmmm, how about Tuesday? I will ask Superdad when he can pencil me in.

Does this mean I have to shave my legs??

BTW I loved the poll!!!!

I really thought couples were doing it once a week.

Between you and me (and my readers) we averaged every other day of sex when we were dating. I mean first year of marriage. Cough cough.

I think we had sex 5 to 6 times in 2008. But I was pregnant. Superdad wouldn't sleep with me towards the end because he knew I wanted my labor to start. Then after the cesarean I wasn't ready for sex right away.

Supermom, Oh I totally thought once a week was going to be the winner. I had been doing unofficial polls among my married friends for years and that was kind of the standard response. I was shocked that it was either way more frequently or way less. Seriously if we do it once a month we're doing well... time flies. And before kids.. don't get me started... practically everyday... 2 kids later and we're down to once a freaking month!

Michelle LeeI Love Incomplete Sentences

I feel compelled to tell you my life story simply because it's that comedy show everyone lives. It's good to know you aren't alone in this crazy world of motherhood! I often refer to myself as June Cleaver with leopard print heels and pearls.