Tuesday, August 24, 2010

So I FINALLY got my reprieve from the hellacious summer. A week in the Outer Banks with 11 of my good friends and the cutest Goddaughter anyone could ever hope for. We laughed, we cried (from laughing), we drank... a lot. Aside from the booze I didn't teeter too far off the fat camp trail. I did not count points because I wasn't trying to drive myself completely nuts on the vacation I have been counting down the days to for at least 6 months.

However, yesterday at work I ate a pack of Starbursts, a bag of Cheetos, a bag of pretzels, and a Snickers bar. Explain that to me. All week on vacation the worst thing to cross my lips was booze and some Oreos, yesterday I go nuts. I feel a little better having confessed that just now though.

While on vacation my friend Kelly shot me a text warning of the impending crisis that is our upcoming strategic planning class. Now, that's just mean spirited. I was leaving the next day, that could have waited. Immediately that pit sank itself deep into my stomach. I finally figured out 90% of the financial aid crap, but I still have little things to do before classes start NEXT MONDAY ::cries::.

This post is weak sauce, I apologize... I'm just not feeling it today, but I didn't want to leave people hanging too long.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I believe this is a title of one of the THOUSANDS of weight-loss/fitness books I was looking at when I was in Borders last week. No wonder people are still fat and obesity is an epidemic or is it a pandemic? Remind me to look those two words up later. Anywho, there is nothing FAST nor EASY about losing weight (if you're moderate-morbidly obese anyway). And I only speak on behalf of obese people because, quite frankly, I am one. Though I still know all of our circumstances are different as well. Some of us probably do sit on our asses all day eating bonbons and whatever else it is we can shovel into our gullet. However, I'm guessing the majority of "obese" persons, like myself, just are.

I've been chubby my entire life despite the greater part of my young life being insanely active-- sports, band, etc. I name band as being active because I played drums... try hauling around a snare drum from age 9-13. So what about all the candy and cookies i ate? Negative. I'm the kid who ate some Halloween candy the first couple days then was done... it got thrown out 2 months later... pretty much the same with any other holiday. Sweets weren't my thing and they still aren't though I get a craving every now and then. My mom would pack my lunch and sometimes I would have a couple Chips Ahoy or something, but nothing crazy. We weren't denied sweet things in my household, they weren't banned, we just didn't care. My mom had a crazy sweet tooth, but she was 5'9" and 140lbs, so sure, go for it lol.

I've tried everything imaginable. My two best attempts at losing weight were the times I took speed and had a personal trainer. Ok, I didn't really take speed speed, but it kinda was only in prescription form. I've attempted South Beach (which lasted two days my freshman year of college because I ended up not eating anything and almost passed out as I burst into my friend's room one night because I knew she had food), low carb, Weight Watchers, Medifast, and various diets I made up. I've not eaten, but not to a point where it was a problem because I do like food a little more than completely cutting it out allows lol. The thing I have had to come to terms with is that if I want to lose weight it's not going to be fast nor is it going to be easy. In fact, it's going to take quite a bit of time (I'm giving myself 2-3 years to get to where I want/need to be) and discipline (which I totally fail at). This is definitely a work in progress because I still want to wake up tomorrow morning 20 pounds lighter than the night before. It's hard for me to let go of the fact that this is going to really take as much dedication as my schoolwork (minus the whole procrastination thing). My goal is to not look like the Goodyear blimp come my next graduation (high school and undergrad made for horrendous photos). To help me get there I recently signed up for Weight Watchers because it's at work and the meetings take place in my building (super convenient for a lazy ass like myself). I started last week and the first weigh-in is tomorrow. I did not do very well as far as my points go this past weekend... mainly because I got hammered and ate almost an entire pizza to myself at the bar (not cute).

So while I'm not in school, you will have to hear about my battle with my metabolism.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Originally when I started my graduate school adventure I thought I would finish up somewhere around 2012 because I don't particularly feel like I'm in too much of a rush nor did I want to taint my summers any more with papers.

Then something happened. Something I never really thought about before I started.

I made friends.

By the time spring semester came and registration for the summer was open, I still teetered on my options. I had become a little less "HELL NO I WON'T GO" and a little more "Ok, I could take A class..." Well, as mentioned in my previous entry, you all know how that went. I landed myself in two classes. Probably the most tedious classes I've taken since I started last fall.

HR Management and Strategy:
I learned that I am HR retarded. And I mean slooooooow. We had to write proposals for three case studies and all three I got the same grade with the same or at least similar feedback. Each time I thought my proposal was better than the last. Talk about frustrating. Oh and then everyone else in the class is sharing how they've been getting damn near perfect scores every time. Hence, I'm HR retarded. Oh and the final paper we had to turn in was a HOT MESS. And yet, I received a 17.5/20 on it. I also got an A- for the class. I'm thrilled! (A little upset my 4.0 is officially gone) but I really did not think my grade would be anywhere near the beginning of the alphabet... which is always frustrating especially when I really was trying and giving my best effort on those damn case studies. I guess at this point it doesn't really matter how I feel, what's done is done. I'm just happy it's over.

Project Management:
Now this class made me angry at the beginning. My instructor comes in and tells us only a couple people will get A's, and everyone fails his midterm. Real positive. As the course went on though, I began to understand where he was coming from. Whoever failed the midterm did so because they did not study probably at all, and if they did, they didn't listen to what he said was going to be on the exam. I studied my ass off for almost 2 weeks and still got two wrong. One was a huge WTF was I thinking when I got my test back, the other I really was not able to decipher between two answers and I chose the wrong one... thems the breaks. The second part of the class was primarily dedicated to a group project. Thank God for once I had an amazing group. To make a long story short, there were 5 modules and three out of five we received 10/10 and the first two modules we received 9/10. Those two points plus the two I got off on the final exam equaled a 96 (I got a 20/20 on the take home final lol). So I got an A!!! My G.P.A. is now 3.950 or something like that. Goodbye 4.0, but the fact that I got an A in a class where only a couple people get A's... I'm pretty proud of that. Also, I really began to appreciate the class and instructor... until he gave us two assignments on the last day of class. Then, I was kinda bitter and pissed off again.

Monday, August 2, 2010

What I call my blog does not give a ton of insight to what I mostly want to discuss, rather it refers more to how I got to this point in my life.

"The B is for brave" came about during my freshmen (freshman? i never get it right) year of college. See, no one can simply call me by my first name, I guess because it's so short instead of a nickname my friends feel the need to lengthen my name either by running my firstandlastnames together or simply throwing my last initial up with my first name.
Anywho, one evening after doing something "daring" (I don't even remember what at this point) a friend of mine yelled out across campus "Cara B. The B is for brave!!" Over the next few years the B word became interchangeable (bling, bitch, bananas, etc). However, 'brave' always stuck with me because I learned something about myself, that I AM BRAVE and not just for whatever dumb ass thing I was doing that impressed my friend, but for being able to handle everything that life has thrown at me thus far. I'm sure you will learn more about these things as time rolls though, don't want to overload your plate!

Now then, what I really am going to try and focus this here blog on is Dun Dun DUUUUN: school! Last fall I enrolled in a Masters program at Catholic University in DC. I also work full time at a rather large government agency in Maryland. I only take two classes per semester as I am a part-time student and have been doing quite well up until this summer where, against my better judgment, I decided it would be a good idea to take two more classes. WhatAMistakeThatWas! My friend Kelly, whom I met through the program, talked me into it so we could "suffer together." Suffer?--Check Together?--Check Worst-experience-of-my-life-resulting-in-multiple-near-heart-attacks?--CHECK CHECK CHECKCHECKCHECKCHECKCHECK! The (not-so) funny part is that I have to do this all over again NEXT summer-- ALONE! ::cries::
Through my many crises I hope to help anyone out there who may be in a similar boat; essentially having a life and deciding to just throw school all up in the mix. I am also all about learning, myself. So if you hold the secret to not waiting til the very last minute to write a 6-8 page paper, I am all ears. If you have no secrets, but some common sense skills I am lacking, feel free to share as well.

Excited to get this started, however, summer session just ended and fall doesn't start until the end of August, but I can fill in on some of the summer's highlights.