Tag: sadness

First and foremost my friends. I did not realize how long it has been since I posted. So accept my apology.

Even though I have been working with metaphysics for several years. I should know better. I found sometimes when around people, like relatives or people you think you know well. You forget to protect yourself.

What happens you end up taking in the energy negative or positive and it sticks to you like velcro, wear it like glue and then wonder what is happening to you. You find your self sad, depressed or even sick. It has nothing to do with you. It was their stuff. It takes you a while before you realize this and recover takes a bit. Feel lethargic.

My go-to is food for comfort. and that doesn’t help!

I usually use a piece of black tourmaline to protect myself. I throw it in my pocket. I also smudge myself with sage. Do a chakra cleanse. Then I feel like I’m coming out of the fog. I had a lot of family stuff that hit me these past weeks. No lie, the grieving doesn’t help. Makes me more vulnerable. People who haven’t lost children, can not know what it is like to lose them. It is a different type of grief. People mean well.

I had a rough week this week. Yes, I miss you too! I’ve been so sensitive about the silliest of things. I caught myself crying. I’ve tried so much to stay strong. Then the flood gates opened and they didn’t stop. I feel that sometimes it is so hard to stay strong you have to give yourself a break. Regroup and start all over again. Each time it gets less and less time between strong times.

All week I stayed on the couch. Did not do much. Numb. I just don’t like that. It is not right. Then I start with the wrong foods. This morning I said Stop!

Then I said to myself that it is ok to have a good cry. You lost 2 children. You gave birth to them, you raised them, fed them, clothed them, and everything else that goes along with raising children. All of a sudden they are pulled out from under you. You watched them suffer. Your heart is still connected to them. Poof…they are gone. What an empty feeling. They were adults they had their own lives. They were out on their own. But I really miss them! That is ok!

Today I’m typing this from my computer, opposed to the tablet. I am in my office and ready to start designing some jewelry. Hope you have a great day!