Prison Christmas: A Letter from My Son

I wanted to get these letters to you before Christmas. Will you hold onto them and let Andrew, Michael and Brandon have them, please?

This is the only present that I can give my brothers, so I wanted it to mean something.

…Andrew, I want to thank you for spending time with me when I first came back home to live. I was a little awkward and nervous because years had passed. But you came right into my room and started telling me funny stories. For a moment I felt like I never left…You inspire so many people, especially me.

…Michael, I know that I messed up, but I want to thank you for giving me a chance to come back home two years ago. I wasn’t ready. Yet I know it took a lot to open up your heart to uncertainty. Although I may not have seemed grateful at the time, I’m grateful that I was given the opportunity…

…Brandon, how about creating a little family video to play every Christmas and remind us of who and what is important?…You’ll amaze us and evoke strong emotions…You’re the only one that can do it! You have a gift, a strong one. You’ve always stayed true to who you are and I honestly admire that…

I was hoping maybe you could read the letters for me, Father. It would be beautiful. You have such a melodious voice.

Although I never told you, I used to love listening to you read the Little House of the Prairie books when I was a boy…

I am so full of peace and joy. I truly am.

I’ve honestly never felt so complete and secure – until the day I laid my pride down at the feet of the Lord Jesus. Crying miserably, I begged Him to save this wretched man. Such release…

That’s what my Christmas present is.

Father, it’s not easy subduing the dark thoughts and desires that wrestle with me. Sometimes they grow so intense. I have to fall to my knees and cry out loud for help. But He always answers.

He always answers.

Isn’t that great? I’m so happy and I cry because I hurt for so long. Now I have a place I can run and be safe…

I want to share this love and hope with other children like me all over the world. I’ve been listening to the BBC and heard about starving babies in Nigeria. Their cries sounded so horrible and heart-wrenching. America is blessed and most of us take it for granted. My thoughts and prayers are with the hopeless this Christmas…

I’ve spread enough hate. Now I want to spread love. Father, do you believe I can do it? I’ve decided to learn Hebrew, Spanish and French as soon as I get the opportunity to do so. I want to be a missionary and help children and their families…

I have quite a way to travel. But it starts with just one step. Eventually, I will arrive.

Eventually, I will arrive.

Gather my brothers are around you this Christmas, Father. You’re blessed and richer than any man I know.

I’m happy for you and pray that they continue to enrich your heart. Enjoy every moment.