You Don't Need Treats • Private [Jiyu]

The girl's reintroduction to the Black Rose guild had been a rather... Intense one. Honestly at first the elf thought she would be rejected by everyone, cast away and banned from ever coming to the guild hall again for what she did to all of them. But in actuality, a lot of them couldn't have been more welcoming. Well, most. There were still a few people who opposed her joining, but none of those were quite as loud about it as Kiru. The water slayer threw a bit of a fit in the guild hall, even trying to argue against Izayuki. Of course, the tanuki's word was the final say, so the elf was allowed to stay. But knowing someone of higher rank than you was most likely against your very existence... Well, it was a bit unnerving to say the least. Kiru had not been seen in the guild hall after she left angrily that day. A little worrying to the silvernette, as though Kiru did not like her Astrid had nothing against the girl at all. She hoped she was okay... Feeling a little guilty with it, the saint herself had not been around the guild hall recently either. And neither, apparently, was Mikka. The canine had gotten very upset with the water slayer, and ever since has been hiding out in Black Rose's blooming sakura forest. At least, according to the other guild mates. The elf had come to the guild on this day to actually discuss something with the ace, only to become concerned when they told her she hadn't been around. They told her Sakuramori was most likely the place she would go to be by herself, so Sakuramori was where she was headed.

It hadn't taken her but a mere second to reach Sakuramori from Silver Moon Inn. A flash of silver light is all that it took before the elf's physical form appeared and gently stepped down onto the forest floor. At first glance, the forest was absolutely breath taking. Vibrant pink petals fluttered down with the small winds that passed through the rustled the tree branches. The carefully worn down pathways were also decorated with the petals in a light layer like a sprinkled cupcake. No wonder the canine chose such a nice place to stay, if she didn't have other responsibilities to attend to she would want to stay here for days on end too.Looking down from the trees Astrid grasped her basket within her hands tighter, holding it at the front of her. The basket was filled with a ton of goodies, seen as how the white and red plaid covering had a rather large bulge from under it. Anyone with a sensitive nose would even be able to smell the scent of fresh cherries and baked bread wafting from it in the wind.Even just standing here, Astrid knew that trying to find Mikka within the dense forest would be a great task, so instead she figured she would have the dog come to her. And what better to do that with, than some of her favorite treats? Looking to her feet Astrid judged the dirt underfoot before she nodded to herself. The saint took the plaid blanket and shook it out, setting is straight so it would delicately lay itself down on the ground. Once that was done she would begin to lay out what she had brought. A few cherry tarts, freshly made this morning for this very occasion. Kneeling down she placed a plate on one side and one on the other before she put the basket in the middle, putting two tarts on each one. She was actually rather hungry herself, now that the sweet smell was more dominant than the flowers, but she would not touch either of her tarts until Mikka came forward. Hopefully she had made them okay enough. She tried her best to remember the recipe she always followed as a kid, but seeing as how that book was lost to the waters of Phoenix Mountains she didn't have anything to go off on anymore. Just so the dragon wouldn't feel left out, she had also left one for her on the counter in the house for Erika to eat once she woke. Even if Mikka were to lie to her just to make her feel better she knew the thread mage would be honest with how they tasted.

Sitting on her side the slayer placed her hands onto her lap and waited to see if the canine would approach, closing her eyes but extending her soul wavelength outward to sense her if she did so.

She could care less about the outburst she had during Astrid's joining when Kiru had verbally assaulted her friend. Eventually, her guild would have had to see she had much more of a temper than she let on, that was far from what bothered her. Mikka had realized shortly after the tension settled down that her childhood friend had goofed up again, the name that sounded so sweet from the other girl's mouth, was dangerous. No one in Black Rose, even Izayuki herself, knew where she came from, who she was, ever since day one she had given them a false name, manipulated them. Sure, she had never been malicious and did want to be around them, but that didn't change the fact that now there was a major hint as to the untruths she had told everyone. Of course, she couldn't even really call them lies or anything like that, because really what was left of Mikka anyways, she didn't want to think about any of that, so the best option was to avoid it entirely.

The scent of sweets alongside the unmistakable smell of Astrid filled her nose, causing it to flare every few moments in reaction. Mikka lay there on her tree branch post for a few minutes longer, considering the 'bait' she knew that it was likely her that her friend was here for. Luckily, the slayer had picked to set up the little 'picnic' nearly right beneath the tree she had been vegging in for the better part of the day. Sharp claws sunk into the wood of a tree gently, moving slowly as to not upset the sakura tree she descended, leaping down when she was only a few feet above the ground. In her current state she was capable of both biped and quadruped movement, so she chose the later for the moment. Walking forward she circled the edges of the blanket once, sadly getting a few paw prints on it, before she lay down in front of what she assumed was her plate with her long tail laid out behind her, wrapped partly around the tree behind them.

"Aren't these that same recipe? Its been forever, I stopped reading a long time ago, haven't cooked in forever either." Mikka flopped herself upward to sit on her rump, paw-like hands picking up the tart. It was nice to be able to just take something offered by someone again. The girl knew that Astrid would never try to give her something she would have a bad reaction to, they grew up together, the elf knew how violent and dangerous her reactions to a food she wasn't supposed to have could be. "It's nice to be able to ust eat. Yu'd be surprised about the number of places that lie about ingredients if it's 'only a small amount' according to them." laughing she took another small bite of the tart, tail wagging occasionally hitting lightly into the tree. "Oh yah! If no one gave yu the notice before strid, be careful ere, this place is actually dangerous if yu don't know what yu're doing or upset te trees." her own speech pattern slipped some, but it was clearly much better than what she had resorted to when being super hyper and excited over Astrid joining the guild.

Astrid's red gaze reopened again once she heard the soft thud of the half canine girl hitting the ground. Well, that certainly didn't take long. The elf was expecting at least a little longer for the wind mage to come out of hiding, given how stubborn she could be at times. But, well, she had never been able to resist sweets. Some things didn't change, even after many years. A small smile grew onto her pale lips, watching with a soft expression as Mikka approached. Though a little hesitant at first, the canine gave into her sweet tooth and took a good bite out of it. It seemed to go down rather easily, which was a good sign. Perhaps she made them alright after all. "Yes, it's just like how they were when we were little. Though, i lost the recipe a bit ago, so they may not be exactly the same, but they should at least taste somewhat similar." Intertwining her fingers together Astrid rested her chin on top of them, leaning forward to rest her elbows onto her lap as she watched the ace eat. Right now, despite being kind of hungry herself, she was much more intent on catching up with her old friend. Food could wait for just a little longer, when they were both more settled.

The dog was quick to ask if she knew what this forest was and the dangers that went with it. Honestly? She didn't actually know, but by judging from the few creature's wavelengths she could sense roaming around, she wasn't too worried. "Over the last few years i've come close to death more times than should be allowed. Woodland creatures are as dangerous as mice with toothpicks for swords." She would gladly take some monstrous squirrel over a life sucking vampire lord or a demonic flaming cat. Her single eye traveled down to the tart Mikka was holding before looking back up to the girl's face. "How have you been? You went off on Kiru pretty hard. I feel kind of bad, to be honest. I'm glad most of you are willing to accept me, but i can't help as though i'm only dividing the guild more than proving myself..." She glanced away, feeling the guilt build up inside her. The saint had stated on her joining day that guilds were like family. But, as someone who just joined and was now causing an ace to get upset, she felt as though she was tearing them apart in some way.

Mikka had indeed always been the incredibly stubborn sort who turned her back and refused to give even an inch towards someone, would sooner run away or resort to violence before negotiation with most people, she had beyond proven that. Yet, all the years of running, each mistake that resulted regardless of if she did nothing, fleed or fought, she was just so tired of it. The Inugami was exhausted, she didn't have the same staying power she once had if she wasn't motivated by her own fear. Even if there had been a broken bone or two among them in youth due to Astrids strength? Mikka could never fear the other girl, so she just couldn't fight the lure of someone who knew what exactly made her more pliable. The only thing she really wanted these days? Was to know who she was again, to be able to look around and see something besides an escape path, or things she needed to escape from because she couldn't cope. For once, she wanted the life she had basically denied herself. Astrid being here gave her the slightest hope she could have it.

"Sorry I can't help with that." she sighed slightly, looking over at Astrid as she took another nibble. "I don't remember if my book had this one, and I certainly don't know where it is, I hid it somewhere." at a certain point? The few recipes in that small composite book she had taken with when she ran away, became a danger to her. Mikka found it hard to keep running when she looked at those words, all she wanted to do was run back to the old man's house and beg to be allowed to stay there forever with Astrid and Lucius. Knowing she had to keep running, she had gotten rid of the baggage, tried her best to do the impossible, forget them. "Though I would have thought with everything he had in that apartment when I started staying there that Lucius would have had a copy for sure, he didn't?" she would need to go back to the apartment soon to check on the assassin, but of course now that Astrid was around they could take turns, letting her run away from him again. Mikka didn't have the energy anymore.

The creatures? Mikka laughed softly, reminding herself to keep an eye on Astrid so she didn't become a victim of the effects this woods could have. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you. I should have been, I would have been if-" she had known the truth, hadn't jumped to such a conclusion, hadn't lied so many times no one could have sent her home even if they figured out she was a runaway. The canine herself flop against the elfs side, sighing slightly as she finished off the tart that had been on her plate. "I've been lots of different things" but she was better than she had been in a while, it only throbbed instead of felt like she was tearing herself apart now that the elf was around. "Strid, Kiru isn't your fault, she's been upset with the rest of the guild over something else for a while now, you were just an excuse to go off." glancing up at the tree branches above them, the Inugami reached out to touch one of the cream petals as it fell, considering she couldn't see pink. "You aren't dividing the guild, and you have nothing to prove. I know you, and what she thinks you did, it's not you, it couldn't have been you or someone controlled you, which also isn't your fault." she hadn't been there at the time, luckily, or she would have joined her friends attack. However this did leave Mikka with a major black hole in what she knew about. Little did either of them know when they woke up in the morning, this day was going to be a freaking roller coaster.

"That's a shame, but it's fine. As long as it at least tastes somewhat the same then i can always start making a new recipe book." Apparently, the tarts had been quite the success given the dog girl wolfed it down pretty fast. Though, she had always been a rather fast eater. A lot of the times, the elf wished Mikka would slow down and actually chew her food to get the true flavor of it, and just to not seem like some starved barbarian. But, it was mere wishful thinking. At least the sweets were good, that means she could make them again without fear of them being wrong. Of course, now the problem was she would have to remember how exactly she made it in the first place... And given her terrible memory, that wasn't going to be an easy task... She really should have written it down while she still remembered. The girl pouted at her own ignorance, but soon lightened again when the wind mage inched closer and flopped at her side. A small smile of the edges of her lips, the elf looked down to the full dog girl, ruffling her hair like one would do to a dog's coat.

... Wasn't there to protect her... The girl's words rung a familiarity within the slayer. Many people had said that to her within the time span she came back to Earthland, their regret of not being able to protect her against the evil of this world. Was it pity, perhaps? Pity for her lost eye, pity for her lost innocence? The phrase was like a preset on a recording at this point. Sure, they all meant it, but by now the words only rung empty inside of her. They wished they were there, but they were not. They wish to be there next time it happens, and yet they wont be.The silvernette's smile turned into a thin line, looking away from Mikka to the ground beside her."You can't always be there to protect me." She stated rather matter-of-factly. "At some point, i'm going to have to learn to protect myself. If we were all omnipotent gods we would keep a watchful eye on the ones we love and teleport to them when they're in danger, but we're not. I'm not a child anymore. I just turned twenty for god's sake. I'm an adult. A mage, a wizard saint even. I have to be able to protect myself, so i can protect the ones i love." The elf's hand clenched into a tight fist, her nails digging into her pale skin. Her one eye narrowed. Controlled. The girl thought she was controlled during the guild war... It was somewhat sweet, that the canine thought so highly of her, that she could do no wrong. But the slayer was no innocent being. She has killed before."I've killed before, you know." She stated after a moment of silence. "I'm not talking about killing monsters or big bad guys. No, i mean i've killed innocent people. Not because i was controlled, or was framed. I killed people of my own will. I have this anger inside of me. An anger so fierce and so deep it never goes away. Not while i'm happy or sad, not while i'm asleep or eating. I have this constant pool of fire in me, and sometimes it's so hard to control that it comes out with the slightest push. And because of it, i hurt people. I cannot blame it on anything but myself." The people at the inn, the original Astrid, or even herself and twin brother. They all died at her hands because she couldn't control her rage, and that wasn't anyone else's fault but herself. She should know by now how to beat it, and yet she didn't, and continued to hurt people. Her voice filled with her, she let out a breath through her nose. It was hard, to admit to everything out loud like that. She didn't normally do such things, but right now under all of the falling pink petals, sitting beside one of her best friends, she felt more comfortable than she has been for a while.

"Kiru has a right to hate me because right now i deserve it, after everything i've done. But i came to this guild both for protection and to prove myself, to show that i am finally trying to make things right. I just hope they give me a chance."

This was certainly more solemn than she would have liked their first time spending lots of time together, but it was mostly her fault for not being ready, never even thinking this would be possible. Looking next to her at Astrid, the canine saw every little moment they had shared in the past, realizing everything she had given up again. Sadly, she wouldn't need to ask the other girl for any copy of that new recipe book, every bit of work Dahlia had done when she first started coming around to teach her that she didn't have to be cautious of fire was wasted now. Alongside the wasted memories? Came wasted talent, she had always been excellent at forging things, her skill only growing as she aged until she could no longer touch a forge because she couldn't even look at fire. It was sad, she had enjoyed the days while they lasted, and sometimes felt like she was missing a piece of herself, her spark. "I'll taste test whenever you need~" she chuckled, acting like it wasn't ripping her apart to be able to offer so little to her friend.

A sincere laugh emitted as the elf ruffled her hair, rolling her eyes slightly with a willing smile. If anyone else treated her like a dog directly this way? She would have their head, but for Astrid it was alright, she knew her friend meant no malice. "For someone who was actually around that would be some comfort, but I ran selfishly, without even thinking about what could happen to you and Lucius, I left and I stayed away for so long. Things could have been different if I stayed, I could have stayed. There were times I was absent where I could have been there." everything she ran for was some sort of misguided idea or lie anyways, heck she was even starting to doubt that man had actually killed her mother. Perhaps the rest of the village had been right, no one had been there and she just needed some way to blame something besides a freak accident for the upheaval of her life. A few tears slipped from her eyes as she scoffed at herself, the idea of all she had given up to those foolish notions heavy on her.

Blood on ones claws, that was actually something she really couldn't claim directly. Unless it was undead, a monster or such on jobs? She had never killed people before, for some reason she couldn't bring herself to, she would push them to the very edge but she never could cross the line even if she was enraged. "I've always known that anger was there Astrid, maybe not the full potential of it ,but it's never bother me." especially now that she had Assertive inside of her, how could her friends boiling pit ever possibly bother her. "Heck, I thought you would be enraged with me if I ever saw you again." considering how she had not even left a little note, let everyone assume what could or couldn't have happened to her. Mikka didn't even want to consider what idea's they had come up with after she vanished, or if anyone had actually looked for her, especially now that she knew she had been so wrong. "But Astrid, that same anger that can lead to accidently hurting other's? Makes you fight all that harder to protect them." something she had not been capable of in a long time, most of her life since running away the girl had been obsessed with self preservation. There was a lot to regret.

"Everyone has the right to their own emotions, but they have no right to take them out on you in any way." and if she caught anyone trying no one would be able to hold her back next time, she needed to find way to get stronger again so she could finally do what she had failed to for so long. "You'll have the chance, trust me, there's more you can do with anger than you think, it's part of you but it's not just darkness, just don't be a fool like I was and use the emotion to abandon everyone you care about, live a life you regret and chase after someone that likely doesn't even exist." her frown was slight before she reached to ruffle the other girls hair with a chuckle, forcing herself to smile again. Normally she couldn't admit she screwed up out loud, nor was she great at making steps to comfort people anymore, but next to the elf it was different, she could remember some scrap of who she used to be.

The part about protection was not lost on her, worrying over who was after her friend why the wizard saint needed protection. Of course, this was Astrid at the end of the day, maybe she needed protection from herself. "Even if something goes wrong, the guild doesn't abandon anyone, I know that very well." she didn't want to remember what she was 'talking' about and that was clear on her face, eyes closing. "Some group kept me captive for what I think was a year or so, eventually one of my guild-mates found me and brought me back, I had been taken only a few days after I joined." why couldn't she remember who had brought her back to the silver moon? It was strange, but she had stopped questioning the black holes in her memory a long time ago, she was never going to figure it out. "So in the end, you'll end up safe." that she could say for certain, small smile sketching across her pale face. Remembering that time? Hurt.

The elf kept her gaze away from the dog-like woman, loosing herself to her own thoughts for a bit. She'd be lying if she said her words weren't comforting. Here things from your friends verses people you weren't so close too was a bit uplifting, like all they could say was the truth. But at the end of the day she knew once she left this forest and went back to her own thoughts, the negative would slowly creep back in. Nothing was going to change unless she sought after it herself. Others may help, but at the end of it all it was her who had to convince herself what was right or what was wrong.A small smile came back to the saint's pouting lips when Mikka ruffled her silver locks, a small breath of content escaping her nose. It was just one person. She was right. Kiru didn't speak for the entire guild. She did belong back here, and she would just have to prove to all of the non believers that she did. Starting with the ace. How she would do such a thing? Well, that was yet to be seen. But if everyone else, even Izayuki, could forgive her then there was still hope. They'd just have to pray her anger problems wouldn't get her into even more trouble before then..."Perhaps you're right, and only time can tell. But if it's all true then you need to stop being hard on yourself too." She finally looked back to the ace, the small shine returning to her one eye. "I was never angry that you left, not even once. You did what you thought was right, i had no right to stop you. So don't ever think it was wrong. I mean, think about it. If everything hadn't happened the way that it did, we wouldn't be having cherry tarts in a forest holding the same guild mark on our hands now would we?" she smiled softly. That was called fate, wasn't it? Astrid had always been a firm believer in fate. She knew everything happened for a reason, especially now that she was guided under Minako. You may be able to change your fate, but in the end still if you think about it whatever happens was destined to happen no matter what. You couldn't change it."Fate is a mysterious mistress, and not one we can run from. So we just accept and move on to what she has planned for us." She lifted her gaze up to the surrounding falling pink petals, taking the scenery in.

... Speaking of fate.She had gotten off track from her original objective. "Oh, right" she breathed in quietly, her eye widening as she remembered. She looked back down to the ace. "Changing subjects, do you still craft stuff?" She asked, referencing how the wind mage used the forge back in Peace Village. "I know its been a couple years, but i have a request for you if you do."

Avoidance as a dear friend to the both of them. Facing an opponent that they could punch in the face? Was so easy, but their own feelings or misdeeds, those things were so terrifying. Mikka glanced to watch Astrid seem as if she was spacing out for the moment, before switching her gaze to something random ahead of the pair. The action she had taken, seemed so normal but it carried a significant purpose when paired with the deep breath out the canine took. When the other girl was talking, it was easy to ignore, but whenever the elf fell silent it was impossible to be avoided or mistaken in any sort of way. The scent of negativity consuming Astrid was tangible to the Inugami, her friend had little idea that she was now a creature who fed off such things. While her friend let herself fall into thought, she leaned in sniffing. Once she realized what she was doing? Mikka pulled back praying Astrid would not realize.

How could she have considered eating her friends negativity for even a second? She didn't even know if eating negativity directly could have any affects on the person she ate it from! Mikka was disgusted she could even consider putting Astrid in that sort of danger. Yet, there was so much of it there, she could almost taste it. "You'd be surprised what I can run from 'Strid." heck she had outrun fate without even realizing, entirely unaware that she was not an expectation to how Inugami were born. "Some things are easier to accept than others." she could accept forgiveness to some extent, but she still had other demons she had yet to deal with, ones that almost no one truly knew about anymore.

When Astrid opened her mouth again, the light haired girl asked about her crafting, something which had always been an easy conversation in the past. However, something was wrong this time, Mikka scooting a foot over on the blanket suddenly and turning her head away sharply. "I could try what do you need?" she would never turn down the other girl, but considering their history she was almost certain whatever Astrid wanted would involve forging unlike the minor technological stuff and such she had been dabbling in recently. "But I should warn you-" she cut off, voice failing entirely as she found there was no way to tell the other girl the truth with her voice, optics desperate as she turned her head down again.

As they sat there the body which Astrid was used to seeing since their reunion especially lately, faded away. The girl left sitting beside the elf? Could never even qualify as a shell of the girl that Astrid had grown up alongside. Mikka was extremely pale as if sunlight hadn't touched her in ears, numerous places like her wrists, ankles and around her neck discolored as if something had bound them for an obscene amount of time. Yet, the most jarring thing was the burn scars scattered from feet to face on her. "I still craft, but I can't get anywhere near a forge." it was all she could choke out, cursing once more how she had let that be taken away from her. Yet, what was she supposed to do when she'd been made to take that for so long. "I'm sorry, it's so unsightly but I couldn't explain, I'll shift back." with that comment she closed her eyes trying to refocus on any of her disguise forms still.