Blah

I’m sorry, I know the blog has been quiet lately. I’ve been feeling uninspired in general inre: both writing and money.

I’m stressed out about money, so everything I write seems to be whining about that fact. And we’re not on some amazing new-ways-to-save-money escapade at the moment. So it’s tough to write about money.

Meanwhile, there’s some health stuff going on that I don’t want to get into right now (no, not pregnant) that is worrying me too.

Not to mention nitty-gritty stuff.

I forgot to fill my Lamictil until the last minute (read: after I was out), and then discovered that Walgreens has it on backorder. I then called a CVS, spent a ridiculous 10 minutes on hold only to be told that, no, the store didn’t have it either. Luckily, the next CVS did, but I still had to wait until the next day to pick up my pills.

This meant I spent most of yesterday feeling like my brain was swaddled in thick layers of cotton. I had trouble thinking, so work was almost twice as hard because I had to think through every word very carefully to make sure it made sense. Being without my Lamictil also makes me feel slightly off-kilter in a very physical, am-I-about-to-fall-oh-no-wait-I’m-sitting-down way. It feels sort of like I have my head cocked at a 45 degree angle. It’s kind of dizzying, though not debilitating.

Meanwhile, we’ve been struggling to get Tim a referral to a new specialist.

The doctor’s office tried faxing the referral three times, and each time insurance would insist that it hadn’t received the request. After the second effort I even verified the fax number just to make sure it was going to the right place.

After the third failed attempt, I asked the insurance employee how else we could get the referral to them. Because clearly faxing wasn’t working. So god love her, she called the doctor’s office and gave them her department’s fax number, promising to walk it over to the authorizations department herself. Which apparently worked as of Thursday.

This all would’ve been stressful enough, but I’d made an appointment for Tim as soon as the referral was sent the first time. Specialists can be hard to get in to see, so I figured we’d get the ball rolling immediately — assuming that two weeks was more than enough. Instead, we came in just under the wire with the approval coming through two business days before the actual appointment.

So that was enervating as hell.

And while the SAD light is definitely helping, I’m still struggling a bit with depression. Don’t get me wrong — I’m better than I was when I decided enough was enough. But some things are still harder than they should be, and definitely harder than they were on the Rexulti. (I miss it, but not enough to warrant its exorbitant price.)

But what’s more telling is that I’m sleeping too much.

Remember how I couldn’t sleep past 5:30 a.m. for months? Now I easily sleep until 7 or even 7:30 — even if I go to bed at 9 p.m. That much sleep isn’t good for my system. It makes me more lethargic, which I don’t need help with.

The problem is that I can’t set an alarm because then I’d be waking Tim up at 5:30 a.m. and he already struggles enough with sleep as it is. And if I try to go to bed later than 9, I get a second wind and then have trouble falling asleep before 11, which I need to do if I want to get enough sleep.

It’s a mess, and I’m not sure what to do about it except get back into my exercise routine. I was exercising regularly, but thenmy left hip and outer leg started twinging the day after my workout.

Not only would this force me to take a day off, it was bad enough that I thought it might be the beginnings of sciatica. Then I realized how old my workout shoes. Given a choice between the problem being “I’m old” and “My shoes are old” I’m going to start with the latter. Because that can be remedied.

So I’ll go off to Big 5 once the med levels in my system have evened out a bit. It usually takes two or three days after I miss a dose, so I probably won’t get to be very productive until at least Thursday. Whee.

So yeah… That’s about it. I’m sorry that this can’t be some thoughtful, insightful and/or helpful post. Or really just anything that wasn’t a basic update. I’m just sort of stuck at the moment, lacking the inspiration for posts and/or the interest in writing the ones I do think of. I got a couple of suggestions off Twitter and I’m trying to let those percolate. But feel free to chime in if there’s something you’ve always hoped I’d post about.

Comments

So sorry.. Might I suggest “auto renewal” of medication and/or mail order. Works wonders so you dont have these issues… outweighs any savings etc. As someone who requires medications to function such as antidepressants and anti fatigue meds… I highly recommend it. My meltdown at Rite Aid explaining ** do you see my prescription list.. I cannot handle this today… ** while funny in retrospect.. Was not pretty. 🙂 I feel your pain/fatigue

Aw, sorry you had to have a meltdown, though that’s a great line. I’ll have to remember it! Walgreens apparently sent me a reminder email, but it got routed to spam. I should put auto-renewal on my Lamictil and Wellbutrin, but that’ll have to wait until next month when I get a new 3-month prescription. Unfortunately, the anti-fatigue med is a controlled substance, so I have to get a physical script each month. Very inconvenient, but whatcha gonna do?

Do you have an activity tracker such as a Fitbit? I think they might a silent alarm, buzzing your wrist to get you up. I’m not sure, though. I, too, notice my back going out when I need new sneakers and or a knee brace (I need one at night). Hope you both feel better soon.

Feeling a bit better, though it’s slow going. No activity tracker — the things are just too unreliable for me to want one. They can be seriously, seriously off in their distance walked/calories burned. No, it’s more about setting up a schedule so that I just sort of have to go with it. “Okay, it’s 1 p.m. Time to workout.” It helps me just do it and get it over with.

Oh, wow, I’m sorry. I’ve been more stressed than usual lately too, so I can identify. Of course, I hope at least some of your issues improve soon. Please don’t stress about writing a blog entry until you are back on the Lamictil for a few days.

Kudos to the insurance employee who went out of her way to help you. May she reap a tons of karma for it.

Sorry to hear you’re stressed too. It looks like we won’t get solid answers about the health stuff for at least 3 weeks, so that’s a fun nerve-wracking almost-month we’re looking at. But whatcha gonna do?

And yeah I must still be trying to even out because I started crying at a plot twist where someone died. I liked the character, but we’re not talking my just tearing up. I actually had tears running down my face, which was bewildering. And I completely forgot that it might be the Lamictil until just now when I read your comment. Too many other distractions in life, I guess.

Sorry to hear you have been feeling so low. Especially tough as you’re trying lots of things to stay well. The symptoms you describe when you didn’t have your meds sounds like medication withdrawal effects, so called discontinuation syndrome – you should look into this. Basically it is believed to be caused by the meds as opposed to depression. Joanna Moncrieff, a consultant psychiatrist in the UK has some great youtube videos&talks about psychiatric medication which are well worth a look. She speaks about the drug versus the disease model. Having tried different therapy approaches myself & from my work in mental health, I’m really drawn to schema therapy by Jeffrey Young-a relatively recent, integrative therapy with an emerging evidence base. I hope the unsolicited advice doesnt offend. Wishing you health&happiness.

I’ll try to look into it sometime. Unfortunately, the blahs existed far before the withdrawal (which yes, is always a factor), so I can only blame the fuzziness on the lack of meds. The next couple of days I was a bit more emotional, which was probably also the meds. But things are getting back to normal on that front thanfully.

So sorry for the late response! For some reason several went to spam. Thanks for your understanding, and yes things are a bit better with the meds in my system. Still fighting the blahs but a little more successfully.

I thought this was a basic life update? que confused face lol! welp I have a good update I don’t have cervical cancer! YAY I had to do a biopsy earlier this week and got the results back. Ive never been more scared in my entire life. Between that and false missile threat my nerves were shot to hell this week. Hope whatever medical issues your going through goes better. Maybe take Pandora for more walks can help exercise routine? I also need new shoes but that’s the last thing on my mind …

Yeah, it was an update. My point was that I feel bad that I can’t seem to get much out that ISN’T just an update. Boo me.

So glad you got a good result. I had to have that same biopsy once upon a time and it was pretty nerve-wracking. Turns out I did have some pre-cancerous cells, but a quick (if unpleasant) procedure and I’ve had good test results now for 16 years.

Darn, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been enjoying some new medical challenges. One thing’s for sure, though: you sure did hit the blogging gong with that post on (not) ordering food at meetings in restaurants!

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