My (15M) sister (17F) was voted ugliest girl of her year and it’s crushing her. I need help on how to comfort her.

Hi everybody I have an awful problem that I don’t know how to deal with.

It began yesterday afternoon when I came home from school and my parents told me that my sister was ill and not to go near her. Lo and behold when I went up to where our rooms are she had locked herself in the bathroom and I heard throwing up noises. Ok I thought hope she gets better soon. The rest of the day I heard her either in her room or in our bathroom, weirdly she was also crying and sobbing a lot which isn’t normal for her. But I thought maybe her stomach really hurt or something.

But today in school a girl from my class who has an older sister in my sister’s year told me that all the guys from their year (about 50) had made a “hotness ranking” of all the girls in their year (also about 50), from hottest to ugliest. And my sister came in as the No 1 ugliest of all, and according to her sister she had tried to hold it together during class but went home bawling.

The girl from my class then went on to talk to her girl friends about how those guys were assholes, but I felt like I was going to faint. I would never admit this to anyone in real life because it sound so dorky, but my sister is actually my best friend and biggest role model, she is awesome at so many things like playing chess and tree climbing which she taught me. Also for example when I had my wisdom teeth removed this year she sat in my room for hours while I was lying in bed feeling awful and read books to me doing all the voices (another thing she’s awesome at) to make me laugh. Stuff like that.

She didn’t go to school today and my parents still think she is ill but I know the truth. I’m home now and she is in her room still randomly bursting into tears. The sound of her crying alone makes me feel dizzy because I haven’t heard her cry since we were both little kids. I feel like now it’s my turn to be there for her for once but I can’t figure out how without making everything worse. If I just knocked at her room door and told her she isn’t ugly she would probably think that the entire school knows about the ranking and feel even worse, plus she’d probably feel pathetic about her little brother feeling the need to comfort her. I also don’t want to tell our parents, if she wanted them to know she would have told them herself obvs. I feel lost in that I really want to help her feel better again, but I can’t figure out how?

Tl;dr: My sister was voted ugliest girl of her year and is sick and crying for the second day now. I can’t figure out how to comfort her without screwing everything up even more.

They’re such little shit heads. I remember all of the torture I was put through in high school. Pure torture. I used to walk down the hallways with my head down because I didn’t want to open up an opportunity to made made fun of.

I would never admit this to anyone in real life because it sound so dorky, but my sister is actually my best friend and biggest role model, she is awesome at so many things like playing chess and tree climbing which she taught me.

This isn't necessarily relevant to the actual situation, but you should definitely express this to your sister, even if it sounds dorky and awkward. It would mean a lot to her.

I second this! When I went to college I was so scared and homesick. My brother (4 years younger than me) wrote me a letter out of the blue about how I was going to totally kick ass in college and even printed out some memes that I still remember today (2011 memes were... weird lol). It was the best present I could have ever asked for from my brother and I will never forget it.

I know you'd never tell anyone but tell your sister this. This is what she needs to hear today. I feel awful for her.
Looks really aren't everything and teenage boys who do this would probably take drastic measures if they ever had it happen to them. I'd take the list to the administration and have them deal with it. Sadly bullying like this often leads to self harm. Make sure your sister is okay and knows she beautiful and that make up and status items don't make people love you, being a kind and decent person with a good head on your shoulders does.

Also I'd take your sister out somewhere or maybe do something with her she loves. That's what she needs right now is to know she's loved by people who matter.

My siblings are absolutely my best friends and I’m not ashamed in the least! We’re all grown up now but live in the same city and hang out often. I’m most comfortable around them and it’s just low maintenance chills which I love. Never be ashamed of loving your family! You’ll understand one day. Which is stupid and cliche I know but the older yo get the more you know why cliches are cliches.

Also fuck all those people who are mean to your sister. Not one single person is perfect so they have no right to judge. Tell your sister to hold her high and love who she is no matter what people say. No one gets to decide your self worth but yourself, don’t let them take any from her.

I would also say that no teenage girl wants to believe that she is unattractive. You can say a million nice things about her intelligence, kindness, and talent, and if the thing she's insecure about is her looks it won't help one bit. Idk if a 15 year old brother can really make you believe you're beautiful, but it definitely has to be mentioned to help rebuild her self esteem. Nothing crazy, just a nice compliment like "you have great skin/beautiful eyes/great hair/awesome sense of style/nice smile" to help her take pride in her appearance again.

EDIT: Some people wrote me personal messages to send pictures of her so that they can weigh in on how attractive she really is and give tips for her on how to improve her looks. I'm sorry I don't really feel comfortable doing that :( I'd say she has a very normal looking face, maybe a bit guy like looking (many people say we look alot alike :P ) and she doesn't use makeup or stuff like most girls. Also she doesn't really have boobs and stuff, but I never imagined someone would find her ugly

People have already given you good advice, but OP, send screenshots of the people PMing you to the mods. Those people are being predatory assholes and they will be banned from this sub, as they damn well should be. Is it that hard not to be fucking terrible, people?

I don't think it's necessarily pedophiles. I was curious too, reading this post, and in the vein of r/amiugly I'm used to seeing even 15 yo's posting questions about how they look and what they can improve.

However, I'm also clever enough to understand how inappropriate that question is to ask of her brother. Or to ask anyone really who doesn't voluntarily ask the question, especially a vulnerable 15 year old girl...

Anyway, I don't think they quite qualify to be reported... they could be well-meaning individuals who want to genuinely help her.

I mean, I am in no way minimizing the amount of douchbaggery those PMs were up to, but she's 17... the guys PMing are assholes - not pedophiles. Lets not misuse (and thus render vague and useless) words liked pedophile.

Seems strange that they would ask for those pictures. To the OP kids were always assholes. Kids are assholes and sometimes you need to protect yourself from them. Your sister needs you and I'm sure she is glad she has you. Don't just let her cry go and talk to her or listen to her. Probably better to listen. Then go do something together.

Then those people would do well to remember that requesting a 15-year-old to send pictures of his 17-year-old sister to judge her attractiveness is inappropriate, sketchy, creepy, and predatory. There is no honest way to do that as an adult.

I think it it inappropriate to ask for them. But mostly because you’re asking a stranger for pictures of his sister. The rest of your descriptions are pretty judgemental. Sure it’s an awkward way to help this brother comfort his sister by supplying him with reasons she’s not ugly. But if their intentions are pure i dont find it sketchy, creepy or predatory

all the guys from their year (about 50) had made a “hotness ranking” of all the girls in their year (also about 50), from hottest to ugliest. And my sister came in as the No 1 ugliest of all, and according to her sister she had tried to hold it together during class but went home bawling.

WTH is this crap? Please tell your parents so that they can actually help your sister. Srsly, what's wrong with this school? This needs to be reported immediately.

YES. When I was in high school a group of guys did a similar thing but someone reported it and the Vice Principle got to the bottom of who made it. It never happened again.

I get that is not the "cool" thing to do, but it is the right thing. This is bullying and objectification. These boys need to learn there is a lot more to women than their looks. Which, btw, are so subjective. Everyone's version of pretty is different, and that may help your sister find some solace.

EDIT to add: does your school have a guidance counselor? They would be the perfect person to talk to about this. They could help you work out your own feelings, make sure your sister is okay, and give these dumb boys the help they clearly need.

This happened to me too but with alot more students. The teachers and staf knew about it but chose to ignore it because it was true and i wasn’t a ‘cool kid’. My parents said it wasn’t a big deal and i CHOSE to not be offended. I turned out fine even if ugly. Maybe the only thing that truly helps is not caring. Help your sister develop real confidence that doesn’t depend on anything or anyone else.

This story breaks my heart and I am so terribly sorry that you and most importantly your sister is going through this... there is little words I can say to help her out... but I am so so terribly sorry about this..

Yeah, that is ruthless as fuck, and needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP by the teachers principles to spare the next child. But, the damage has already been done to OP's sister.

Honestly, the only thing you can really do is be there for your sister. That horrible shit is something that is not going to be easy for her to get over. It may take a few days for her to want to really do anything, but do whatever you can to be there for her. If she has a hobby or something she enjoys try to keep her engaged in that to keep her mind on positive things.

The only advice I can really give her, and this is coming from someone who has been out of high school for almost 10 years, is to keep your head up and keep working hard. I went to a similarly small-ish school (80 ppl in my class), and was sort of a black sheep. I graduated and moved away and don't really talk to any of them anymore, and I have a great life now. My point is that she's 17 so I assume either Junior/Senior meaning that she's close enough to graduating. Don't let what some idiot classmates say about you destroy your own self image. Push through the last bit of high school. Fuck them, show them how successful you can be. It might not be the best advice, but it helped me and that's what I did. I went to college got a degree with engineering while all of them are still living in the same shitty town I left. Sorry for the long rant.

I imagine this is shit for every single girl on that list(for different reasons). I really hope OP tells his parents and they report it to the school. The damage is done but those kids need to learn this isn't okay.

I'm sure the second, third, fourth, and fifth "ugliest" girls on the list are also pretty gutted. Something like this happening to me at that age not only would have destroyed but would have given me a very negative view on men and relationships in general.

The school should suspend the ringleaders immediately -- this is a goddamn atrocity, and mass-scale bullying. Your parents should be in the principal's office by sundown demanding action, or headed to local TV news as step 2. Do these idiot administrators not realize how this stuff affects kids, and what can happen? Make sure they have no excuse not to take immediate action.

Yes I would pull my daughter out of that school immediately. What an awful place. OP you need to tell your parents and trust in them to make the right grown up decisions meanwhile your role I think is to comfort and love your sister

God damn. Not just OP's parents and school administrators but also other parents. Guaranteed there is a second and third place girl just as devastated, and the boys' parents need to know what little shits they've raised.

Honestly, Im not sure reporting it to the school in this case will genuinely help his sister feel better, and could make the situation much worse. In such a small school, if it was really the entire year participating, it’s likely they’d just get a slap on the wrist. Unless they we’re actively harassing her about it they could argue a silly ranking of attractiveness wasn’t even against school policy.

Plus getting the entire class in trouble because you were voted ugliest may open her up to a lot of additional ridicule.

Imo the best thing she could do is try to act like it doesn’t phase her. And if I were her family, I’d be doing whatever I could to try to boost her confidence. Reassuring her she’s beautiful, and the boys were being idiots. Talking to her about any of her concerns. Even consider a makeover if she’s genuinely feeling bad about her appearance.

Alternatively she could get all the girls together to collectively report it as one, assuming they’re all on the same page. That would help protect her

Super tiny small town schools like this are a different beast. Every parent knows every student and every other students parents. And every parent knows every member of the faculty well. Shit like this can get political and dramatic real quick. She just needs to be smart how she approaches it.

While I agree these boys need to be made aware of their actions. I’m sure the last thing his sister wants is for this to blow up into a huge drama that will blast this list, and subsequently her name, into the public spotlight.

Alternatively, this is horrible advice. You shouldn't suck up someone's shittiness just because there's a threat of "someone thinking of you as a snitch". Even if some people won't get it at this moment, they might grow up at some point and see her as a role model for doing the right thing and putting a stop to a cruel asshole bullying tactic.

This is bad advice. First, there's no reason for her classmates to think she's the one who reported it because she's the "ugliest," every girl on the list has a reason to be upset. Suggesting to act like "it doesn't phase her" doesn't make sense, she's a 17 year old girl who has been throwing up and sobbing for days over this.

Second, it would make no sense that this isn't against school policy, it's classic bullying. You don't have to be taunting someone for it to be bullying. This needs to be reported to the school and the boys need to face consequences. Guaranteed they will not punish the entire class, they'll very quickly sell out the handful of boys who started it, and they'll be the ones punished.

And consider a makeover? I can't even articulate how emotionally damaging it would be to a fragile young girl who is suffering over being called ugly to have a makeover suggested to her. What on earth would make you think that's a good idea?

Anyway, OP, no one needs to know who reported it. You could even report it yourself by leaving a note in the front office with what you know if you don't want to involve your parents. Or tell a teacher you trust. Either way, report it.

I do think it’s important to report these things, but when I was a kid, I remember times when reporting lead to worse bullying (i.e. then people would stalk you in the bathroom stalls and call you a snitch). Does anyone know of methods to go at this that keeps her protected? Her parents showing up a way that people notice or her trying to convince the other girls to report it could very well backfire on her, depending on how bad the bullying already is.

I agree that getting ice cream and reassuring her about how awesome she is and how you think the guys are idiots is a good idea. Maybe even planning some kind of outing that might distract her or at least get her out of the house and focused on something that she enjoys.

One option would be to go to a trusted teacher, give them the information(ie, provide the list, provide the names of the people involved), and have the teacher report it as a neutral third party. No one needs to know who told the teacher. At any school there is going to be at a minimum one teacher who can be trusted with this, if not more.

As a girl who was very insecure aged 13-18, this would’ve ruined my self-esteem for god knows how long. I honestly don’t know what I’d have done if someone had told me this during that time. I totally agree that the parents definitely need to be warned what she’s going through.

As a girl who was very insecure 13-18, this would’ve ruined my self-esteem for god knows how long, I don’t know what I’d have done. I totally agree that the parents definitely need to be warned what she’s going through.

I think this is a situation where she needs to talk to a therapist and actively work against the damage this has done. It's going to be hard but if she works with a therapist and surrounds herself with a good support system, she can get past it. It will take a long time to internalize that this wasn't about her, and that her worth isn't tied to how other people view her looks, but she can get there. I think a lot of people just let their wounds from high school fester and take it to their grave like you said, but it doesn't have to be that way.

A friend of mines older brother called me “the weird looking one” once when I was 15, and I still occasionally think about it when I’m feeling shit. I’m 21 and far more confident now, and that little comment still sticks with me. I feel awful for this girl.

This is 100% going to be haunting her, and I definitely agree therapy sounds a good call. I am so pissed they felt the need to put people down like that, the whole idea of ranking these girls is disgusting.

Yup. I remember when my middle school bully told me that my stomach stuck out rather than my boobs (I was 12? I didn't have boobs yet?). You remember things like that.

My big concern is going to college as a young girl with horrible self esteem and no coping mechanisms. The first fall of college is a dangerous time, I'd be worried just about that. Bad people can smell bad self esteem a mile away and use it to their advantage. That is just one of a million reasons she needs to be in therapy after this, this is so awful. No one deserves this.

I had a similar thing happen 20 years ago: a group of popular kids voted me on to homecoming court only to tell me they wanted a "spectrum" of ugliest to prettiest girls, so I'd be the "ugliest" end. I obviously withdrew from the court (!) But yeah, it has had long-term effects. I don't think about that incident all the time, but I am still working on insecurity.

I have had a lot of therapy, so it doesn't affect my professional life too much (which was my goal; I figured if I'm hideous, I should at least be able to support myself since I would probably be alone / unloveable). I really, really hope OP's sister can get counseling. I honestly think it's helped me a lot.

I'm 25 now and I still think about how a male friend of mine said that they'd ranked all the girls in our group out of ten, and my average ranking was a 3. It fucks you up even when you're "over" it, because its just something that comes back to you in bed at 2 am, or in the shower, and you feel like absolute shit every single time.

OP, please listen to this advice and speak to your parents. Your sister is being bullied and the school needs to get involved. When I was 15/16, I became horribly insecure and depressed due to being bullied because I was "boyish" in my features since my body developed late (I did not have a womanly body until I was 18). I did not tell my parents and, looking back, I wish I had said something because I spent most of high school wearing baggy clothes to hide my "ugly" self. I'm much better now, but it still messed me up for several years following high school.

I strongly do not think OP should go around his sister directly to their parents. In this acute phase of grief and upset, this will not make OP's sister feel like OP and her parents are on her team, it will just give her more people's feelings she has to manage (and make her afraid that her peers will think she ratted them out).

OP: I suggest just going to her (or her door), and saying "hey I can tell you're upset and that super sucks. Do you want to talk about it? I promise to jst listen. I think you're awesome, BTW."

ETA: LATER, once OP's sister knows she has some people to be on her team and she can be part of the conversation, THEN the whole family can strategize about how to tell the principal and teachers in a way where it won't blow back on her.

You need to tell your parents what is going on, so they can contact the school and those awful kids can be disciplined. Any parent would want to know if something like this had happened. You're being a good brother.

I can pretty much guarantee you it wasn't "all the guys" this was done by a few people specifically. Seriously you need to take this to the school administrators. You can do it anonymously of your worried about it getting back to you. They will find out who did it quick and those boys should be expelled or at the very least suspended. That is awful and there needs to be consequences for it.

I still think you should go to the principal, or whoever your contact should be about that. tell them that you heard there was a list going around and that certain students are feeling very attacked by it. Even if you don't' know who, someone probably does.

OP shouldn't go to the principal. He should discuss this with his parents and they should be the ones to complain. If the principal and administration is lazy they'll just blow OP off as he's a young student, but the parents can stand up to them and demand action.

Well, try the school first. Go back with parental support if nothing is done. OP's right that his sister clearly doesn't want her parents to know, and making her more embarrassed isn't the best plan of attack.

We're not disagreeing that the principal needs to be told. What the previous commenter was saying is that the parents need to be the ones going to the principal - it would carry more weight coming from them than from a student.

Unless your sister's really fat or something this likely has more to do with bullying someone than her actually looks. If she's not wearing makeup and acting boyish this likely has everything to do with those facts.

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This is one of the cruelest things and I never even had anything remotely this cruel happen in high school. I guarantee you it wasn't "all the guys", the people I knew in high school wouldn't have participated in such a contest.

Not if the rest of the girls agree that it’s stupid. They need to be held accountable for their actions. Imo getting all of the girls together and refusing to speak to them until they apologise or recertify the situation is the best course of action. But it depends on the personality / if there is any hierarchy in the school.

He’s not entirely wrong tho. If the brother talks to the principle, and word gets out the situation might get even worse for the sister. If it was truly all the boys then I doubt all will be punished. Authorities do need to be alerted, but perhaps someone could anonymously leave the list for a teacher to find

He should definitely tell the parents and they should be the one to do it, or Op could drop the list off or wait until the end of the day. I knew these types of kids and the bullying got worse for those who went to administrators and the school did jack shit

I promise you that your sister is not the only girl who is deeply upset about this list –– and I don't just mean other girls at the bottom of the list, although I'm sure they feel hurt too. This happened at my high school as well, and no matter where you are on the list, the feeling of being ranked by looks like that is awful. If you report it (which you absolutely should –– those boys should be held accountable and your sister and the other girls in her year should be supported) people will not necessarily think it was her.

Damn. This is a tough spot to be in. I honestly wouldn't know what to do in this situation either. Your poor sister. Maybe you could approach the ring leader of this list and tell him to do something to make her feel better. If he's not totally heartless, and knows how much it hurt her he might try to do something to make her feel better. Or, you could try the hottest guy in her year. get him to do something that will make her feel better.

Inform the parents or perhaps slip the list to a guidance counselor, office, or professor. My friends are teachers and they shut that shit down, but again it depends on competence and whether the school is private or public

To the people who wrote OP asking for pictures of his underage sister to rank her attractiveness, what the actual fuck. OP: don't do that, you're doing great at respecting her privacy.

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OP: Tell your sister that you love her, and give her a hug, and ask her what she needs.

When she can, I'd ask her to tell your parents so that they can report it to the school, this is absolutely bullying and those boys need to learn that this type of activity is not tolerated.

Finally, keep an eye on your sister over the next couple months. I could easily see something like this turning into an eating disorder, depression, or some other mental type of illness, and if you know what you're looking for, you can help her get the help she might need from a therapist, counselor, teacher, or friend.

Speaking from personal experience, when situations are horrible and make you feel like the shittiest person alive, vomiting tends to be one of the symptoms of depression. OP should talk to sister/parents ASAP

I know you don't want to betray your sisters trust, but I think this is something that your parents should now about. This is an incredibly terrible thing to be dealing with, and while you're obviously a big support for your sister, this is a situation where adult needs to be involved. Tell your parents everything you know, and I am sure that they will take appropriate actions. This is bullying, and needs to be dealt with severely. As for what you can do, please tell her everything you just mentioned in your post. She may not be ready to hear it now, but I'm sure she will appreciate to hear how much you look up to her. Much love to you and your sister.

I completely agree with this!! Op maybe write her a letter saying you know that she is sad and she shouldn't be because you really look up to her, she's an amazing person, etc. This kind of thing can be absolutely devasting to highschool age gals. When I was in junior high I was playing truth or dare at a party and someone asked a boy 'who is the LAST person you'd ever kiss here' and he chose me. I was humiliated. I'm 20 now and I still think about it all of the time. Girls her age are made to think that their entire worth is how attractive they are. It's not true. Let her know her worth to you!

OP please listen: I was your sister, 15 years ago. I was voted the ugliest girl in class, and it fucking shattered me. I never told my parents or the teachers, and the trauma of being bullied has literally followed me my entire life. I still vividly remember the moment I was told, what I was wearing, what the notebook page with all the tally marks looked like when it was shoved into my hands. The boys had voted, but the girls in my class were the ones who circulated the poll. I was (and instantly knew I was) completely alone. From that day forward, I couldn't trust a single person I had ever considered a friend.

I finally told my therapist this year about the incident and broke down completely. I can promise you this is not the first time your sister has been bullied, and it will not be the last time. Please, please, please: tell your sister that you know, and tell your parents. She might get upset with you & there may be some social blowback for "snitching" but you do not want to look back in 10 years and wonder what if. I developed PTSD from bullying, spent decades battling depression, and attempted suicide multiple times. I am still, nearly 30 years old, struggling to rebuild my self-esteem because of the mean things a bunch of teenagers said about me in middle and high school.

Please help your sister. As you said, she's your best friend and takes good care of you whenever you need it. She needs you to take care of her now, even if she's not ready to admit it's what she needs.

This. The girl at the top is being just as objectified as the girl at the bottom, and just because the ramifications aren't as immediate as it was for OPs sister, being treated like this can and almost certainly will fuck a young woman up really bad

Ugh.
Hit it lists.
Teenagers are assholes. Be there for her. Encourage her to talk to your parents. Even when you are smart enough to know that looks don't take you far, it still freaking hurts when it is pointed out that you are not the standard that is found attractive. Be there for her, and call those guys a lot of mean names to her. It won't fix anything, but calling them names might make her laugh.

OP this is such an awful story and I feel terrible for your sister. I understand that you’re worried about making her think that everyone in the school knows, but I think she really needs someone to be there for her. If you knock on her door while she’s crying and just tell her what you said here, that you heard from someone who has a sibling in her grade, I think that would help alleviate some of the fear that everyone knows, because it could just be that one specific person.
Tell her that you think she’s beautiful, and that boys that age are cruel for no reason. I think it will mean a lot coming from you, because you’re also in high school and probably witness some of it, too. Also, if she’s 17, it sounds like maybe she’s a senior? If that’s the case you should remind her that she’ll be done soon and then she never has to see any of those people again if she doesn’t want to. I know this doesn’t always help as much as you want it to because it feels very catastrophic in the moment, but talking about what’s going to happen after high school might help her move on.
Anyway, if I were in this position with my sister, I would talk to her and then try to cheer her up by going out to dinner together, getting ice cream, and then watching movies all night.
Everything will work out for her, but I hope that you’re able to help her at least a bit in the moment. Good luck to you two.

Just go in her room right now and hug her and don’t say anything right away if you don’t want to. She WILL appreciate it. Trust me. Just hug her and tell her you love her. Get her some of her favourite comfort food and watch a movie with her or offer to take her to the movies. If she doesn’t like going to the movies, then offer to take her somewhere. Or if she’d rather just stay at home , then just lay with her.

Tell her those guys are stupid and don’t let her believe any of that stuff. The fact that those guys had the nerve to write a list is so unbelievably immature.

And also the school needs to be notified immediately. This is outrageous. If that was my sister I would march right up to those guys and give them a piece of my mind and embarrass them all.

Please try your hardest to get her to talk to your parents, so that your parents can contact the school and force the school to address this egregeous bullying. Kids can be such utter turds, they need disciplinary action. Yes, all 50 of them. Any half-decent school will take nuclear action over this.

I feel like an old person and a parent saying this (hmm, because I am). This is too much for a 15 year old to fix. And, if all of this is true, this is serious bullying, and I fear what your sister do.

Please, please, please go to your parents NOW and let them know. It's their job to deal with this. Think about how embarrassing it would be for her to tell them; I'm not surprised that she doesn't want to do that. They need to know regardless. If for some reason they don't do anything, then yes, please tell the principal.

Go hug her. Tell her you know what happened and just be there for her. You can't fix what's already happened but having someone on her side would probably make a world of difference. Also if you can, some flowers may not hurt and a really heart felt card or letter saying how much you look up to her.

First of all, in response to your edit—don’t send anyone pictures of her! Your instinct to say no to that is dead on. The people who are asking you that are either massively missing the point or they are just plain creeps.

Next, this is really hard and i am sorry, because nothing you do can really fix this for her. I think you should consider letting her know that you know what happened, or at least knock on her door and ask her if she wants to talk about what’s wrong. If she won’t come out, i would write a letter telling her how awesome she is and how much you love her and slide it under the door, and then leave her alone until she wants to come back out of her room again.

Also, this might seem like a betrayal and i could be off base here, but i think you should tell your parents what happened. It’s their job to help her through this kind of thing. And if that had happened to me as a teen, i would have probably done something unsafe to myself in response. She is in crisis and she needs an adult.

The people who participated in the creation and distribution of this list need to be reported to the school. this is explicit bullying. Your poor sister deserves to be treated so much better, holy shit.

Ah that sucks, I’m so sorry this happened. High school guys can be such jerks. Try to show her how much you care, and tell her that her worth doesn’t come from how she looks but rather her heart, and the way she treats others. I know that’s hard to hear when you’re a teenager, but it might help.

I would never admit this to anyone in real life because it sound so dorky, but my sister is actually my best friend and biggest role model, she is awesome at so many things like playing chess and tree climbing which she taught me.

You're worth your weight in gold, man.

Tell your folks what happened. If she's crying her eyes out all day then they already know it's not a physical illness she's sick with, they just don't know what the problem is.

Those boys need to be gathered by the scruff and taught how to treat their fellow human beings. A school official should handle that.

Everybody has strengths and weaknesses. Your sister as you described has kindness, personality, humor, intelligence, humanity. And she has you, a strong loving relationship with her brother. These qualities are rare, hard won and beautiful.

She is beautiful and good and strong — that is how YOU see her. Her view of herself has been knocked down by this brutal immature act. But they don’t matter. The people who matter understand and believe in and value her.

Remind her of this. She needs right now a lot of help to see a different perspective, after being blindsided, to remember her strength. She needs your support and love. I think it would be appropriate to tell her how she is your role model and best friend, how much you appreciate her and how you see her as an important and inspiring figure in your life.

Think about what she means to you and how YOU see her, and try to express to her, write to her, or remind her the ways in which she she is an amazing sister or person.

Added to that, it might help her to realise that more people (girls and boys) have had experiences like this in middle/high school and it did not in fact mean they were the ugliest people ever, nor that people always everywhere saw them like that.

I've had similar reactions from guys in secondary school (I was also a late developer physically and emotionally, which obviously had an impact on that pov too). Strangely enough the same guys who called me super ugly as teens, tried dating me in my twenties. My actual facial features haven't changed much (let alone to the better), so yah.

Stating this because we can all repeat that looks don't matter that much in the long run and there'll always be someone who thinks you're super hot and there's more important qualities. And all of that is true; but I've been a teenage girl who was called ugly often and it really messed with my mind. I'm not sure if it would've helped me to have read this as a kid, but honestly I thought it wasn't fixable, that everybody would always at some point find out I was really just very ugly. And I grew out of that mindset partially because when I went to college I met guys who hadn't seen me growing up as an awkward teenager and just thought I was hot the way I was... I still don't think I'm pretty, but by now I do know for a fact that enough people find me attractive, and that's fine now :)

When you comfort her, please do tell her how much you love and look up to her. Give her some positive aspects of herself to focus on, and remind her of them in the future so that when she’s past the brunt of feeling like shit, she’ll be able to think about the good. Teenagers can be awful.

Deeply concerned about the vomiting given the nature of these assholes’ offense... it could be stress, or it might be a budding eating disorder.

Someone that is more abled for these things really needs to know what happened to about this getting out of control. If you’re worried about the headache of the principal, I would consider talking to the school counselor. They’re more gentle about these things, and are trained in mental health.

Adults always try to explain this to teenagers and it usually fails. So here goes... Once you're out of school, the world looks very different. Almost all (usually all) of the stuff that feels so important when you're in school becomes nonsense, unimportant, outright dumb. You know what is the absolute most important thing in life, imo? Helping kids grow into mature, stable adults. Keeping them alive. NO. MATTER. WHAT. It's a hard thing to understand when you're a kid. Life is absolutely sacred. (And I don't even have kids, lol)

Screw feeling embarrassed. Tell her what you told us. That you look up to her and love her. Helping her get through this is more important than your ego right now.

Someone absolutely must do something here. Maybe an anonymous note to a staff member. If that happens, there will be an investigation. Anonymous tip to the police? I'm sure they'd notify the school, promoting an investigation. Anonymous strips of paper with, "There is a hottest to ugliest list going around in grade x. This is bullying and needs to stop. We need an investigation." Blasted into the crowded hallway with an airzooka by your friend from another school that nobody knows. Idk what it is, but something has to happen.

I had the same thing happen to me when I was in high school. The stupid boys rated the top 15 hottest girls in our school and did it right in front of me. It really made me feel insecure, but at the end of the day I thought, "they're not even hot themselves, why would I get their opinion get to me?". I also never wore makeup, was a Tom boy. I encourage you to talk to your sister about it. Maybe even show her this thread to show her how mean those boys are, how many other people have gone through this and give her a big hug with encouraging words. Those kids won't be in her life after school and family/loved ones will always be there for her.
P.S. PLEASE don't show a photo of her. Even if it's well meaning, we don't need to scale in on her appearance, just like the boys did.

Back in high school a bunch of guys thought it would be “hilarious” if the “ugliest girl in school” became Senior Princess. I was chosen, and mocked and humiliated and because this was a private school (and the kid’s parents funded a lot of money to said school) they were let off the hook. Because this happened near the end of my Senior year I had SUPER LOW self esteem going into college. I dressed in a way to make sure people didn’t notice me, developed an eating disorder and because I did this men didn’t notice me and I felt doomed to never have a relationship.

My low self esteem is still prevalent to this day but recently I took out photos from 10 years ago and wow... I was 110 pounds, fit from swimming and cross country, with long wavy hair. I had super pretty eyes and not a single blemish on my face. I was BY FAR not the ugliest girl in my class. There were overweight girls with acne and I was perhaps not popular because of my nerdy interests, I was certainly not the ugliest.

My family and friends didn’t really react to this situation other than saying sorry it happened, but because of their reactions I was lead to think they agreed I was ugly and disgusting to the point my hair started falling out.

I'm glad you were able to reflect and gain a bit of positive self image from some old pictures, but saying overweight or acne ridden kids were way more unattractive than you were kinda shows you didn't learn a whole lot from the experience. Sorry friendo, but thats a super ugly thing to say. Speaking as someone who was popular enough and had perfect skin and was of average weight, so I'm not projecting.

But hey, if it makes you feel better to say those girls were uglier than you are, more power to you.

Yeah I understand the point of the story but don't really understand what her advice here is... other than realizing that those girls were "uglier" than she was, which is a toxic thing to say and puts her at their level of pettiness.

Exactly, this list is not really about looks. It's about who they can get away with calling ugly. In your case, since you were nerdy and less popular, you got "picked." But really, it was that you didn't get picked. If it was a tally to pick the "hottest" girl, these asses would really be picking the girls they feared retaliation from. This whole thing is disguting on multiple levels, but I really want everyone to understand that the issue is NOT really someone's looks. It's a smokescreen for popularity.

What in the actual fuck? This is bullying and is 100% not okay. If this is actually what is happening, it needs to be reported to administration and dealt with immediately.

Don't enable the shitty behavior by turning a blind eye, but definitely get some help - talk to your parents. Not to cause panic, but incidents like this can literally a contributor to teenage suicides. And remember your sister is not the only victim here.

You've gotten a lot of good advice but something small to do would be maybe make a little "feel better" basket? Just some snacks she likes with some of the books you both like? Also a list, kind of like what you've written for us, about all the things that are great about her! Like:

You're good at chess

Thank you for teaching me how to climb trees

You always make me feel better

etc.

Just frame it like, "I feel awful that you're hurting, so I put some stuff together that hopefully will make you feel better"

Tbh, I do agree that her feelings about the hotness ranking might be too raw to talk about right now but you know your sister best so do what feels right!

You’re getting advice to stay out of it and that snitches get stitches, but here’s the thing:

If nobody in authority knows that this happened, nothing will be done about the bullying. The boys will continue to bully. Another list might be made by them, where maybe they rank the girls on best bodies or who they want to bang. What if your sister came in last on two lists? What would that do to her self esteem then?

Someone in authority needs to know that this happened. Start with your parents. Tell them you are concerned. Tell them you were told from a classmate that a list was made and that your sister came in last, and that you think this is why she might be upset. Tell them that you don’t think the teachers or principal knows that this happened. Let your parents handle this, that’s what parents are for- protecting their children.

Tell your sister you love her, that you think she’s awesome, and that you’re here for her. You’re a good brother. Do right by her and protect her by letting your parents know she was bullied. Again, if no one in authority knows that this happened, the bullies have no reason to stop bullying and it is possible (and likely) that they will continue to be cruel.

Please tell your parents. Please. I know she does not want them to know, but your sister really needs help right now. These boys are complete jerks. This ranking of girls’ looks is so outrageous! I’m not sure if disciplinary action can be taken, but it’s definitely harassment. PLEASE PLEASE tell your parents so they can help your sister. Her looks do NOT matter. The person she IS is what matters and she needs to understand that.

Try to get the girl that told you and her friends together to go to the office. Your sister doesn't need to be the one that does it. This is a really fucked up thing to have happen and your sister shouldnt have to deal with being the snitch or other highschool bull shit. Get the girls from the grade together to report it. I know a lot of people are recommending parents get involved, but I think youd have better luck trying to get those girls that talked to you to go up and say something. In this modern day of age people shouldnt have to go through this bullshit, and fuck boys dont get to ruin peoples lives because theyre horney sluts

This is suspension level bullying. Get your parents involved. They need to know. Please contact the school administration immediately. If they don't sort it out, contact the superintendent of schools. Demand answers.

Omg thats so awful... highschool kids are the worst, i feel so terrible for your poor sister. I do also think that its probably the best to tell your parents about what happened. It maxbe not the best idea to do anything on your own but you could all adress your guide counselor and ask him for help. what i needed most in such situations (and i had a bunch of them when i was a teen) was the love and the support from my family, they are the reason I got my self-confidence back. I wish you all and especially her all the best - she will survive this and since shes such an amazing girl- in the end everthing will be just fine.

That’s fucking awful, your poor sister. Teenagers can be the worst little narcissistic cruel monsters at times. I was bullied a lot when I was younger and it is soul crushing sometimes. I think you try to get your sister to talk to your parents about this, because I bet she’ll feel a little better just sharing that burden with them. But otherwise, just tell her that stuff you told us, about how important she is to you and how much you care about her. That will mean the world to her.

Those people have ugly hearts and they’ll never have the kindness, care and love that your sister has, and that makes her infinitely more beautiful than them.

You should tell your parents. And when you do, express to them your concerns about retaliation. There are ways for the adults in your life to handle this without it all coming back down on your sister's head.
Furthermore, this is a deeply traumatic event for your sister and she's going to need someone to talk to. If your parents know what's happened, they can help her, perhaps even help her find a therapist if it comes to that.
But if you don't tell them, that's one less resource you have.

Lesson here is that you are a really great guy/brother. Those guys are flat out terrible, and I am not sure what would even help your sister other than the space and time she needs to realize the opinions of such bums is worth nothing. Your description of her tells me she is a dream girl for many people out in this world, hope she runs across one of them soon.

OP, I saw your edit - good for you for not responding to requests for pictures of your sister so even more people can judge her!! I think it's inappropriate and gross that people were asking you for that. I also think that beauty/makeup tips are NOT what your sister needs right now. There's such a huge industry based on telling girls & women how to look more beautiful, that stuff is super easy for her to find if she ever wants to look for it.

Instead, I think what she needs is help remembering that (1) at worst, she is pretty average looking, not some hideous monster, and (2) she is valuable and loved for more than her looks. I think you should try to talk to her, not necessarily about what specifically happened at school (you may be right that she would rather not have to acknowledge that this spread far enough that youheard about it), but about the fact that you can tell she is very sad and you want to help if you can. Ask if you can spend time with her and distract her from what's upsetting her, and tell her what you told us about her being your role model and all the ways you think she's great.

Something else I would consider is telling your mom what happened - but this HUGELY depends on what your mom is like as a parent and whether she's close with your sister. If your mom is generally good at talking about sensitive issues, sympathetic, and has a good relationship with your sister, she may be able to help your sister deal with this. Part of the reason this is having such a huge impact on your sister is that society generally places higher emphasis on the importance of looks for girls than boys. For me, and I think for a lot of women, the way we were raised tied the ideas of being pretty and being female together so tightly that being told we are ugly doesn't hurt just because it makes us think people won't like us or we won't find a romantic partner, but also because on some level it feels like we're being told we're not real women/girls. Your mom, or another trusted woman who is older than your sister, might be able to connect with her on that level in a way that's harder for you as her little brother.

I don’t really know what you can do here, since the damage is already done, but I’d say you should definitely let her know how much she means to you. Dorky or not, your sister could definitely use someone telling her she means the world to somebody right about now.

This is really really horrible. I think you should tell your parents, this is above your paygrade to deal with alone as a brother or for her to deal with as a teenager. This is one of those events in life that leaves a scar, and she's going to need some guidance to navigate it. But in the meantime, go sit with her and tell her what you told us about how you look up to her.

first of all fuck people who's first thought is to give her suggestions on how to improve her looks

second of all is there anything you guys like doing together to take her mind off of it? try to help her shift her focus on activities and things that she enjoys and make her feel good about herself. her worth is not weighted in her looks and that's such an important thing to ingrain in people.

it's also super important to remember that these people will not matter in a couple years and i guarantee you everyone in your school who's "hot" now is gonna grow up to look like shit. she'll feel better about herself in a couple years, you guys are young and just becoming aware of your bodies. keep your minds on the important things, like doing what you love - and if you feel strongly about her, don't hesitate to let her know. sending you guys love and she's in my thoughts. i know what it was like to be the "ugly" girl in school, and i grew up gorgeous. keep your chin up!

I don't know what I'd say. But just be there. Sometimes words can't comfort, but I guarantee you if you just knock on her door, say "I heard" and just hug her and sit with her it will help. She just needs to know you're there. Maybe bring her hot chocolate. Get a big blanket. Bring her Disney movies. Just be there. That is the #1 best thing you can do.

High schoolers can be ridiculously cruel, talk to your parents about what was told to you because what was done was appalling. Your parents should know and perhaps talk to the school administration. This was bullying, plain and simple and the school needs to address it. Your sister may not have told them herself because she is feeling so humiliated and hurt and telling them will just mean her having to say it out loud, but they need to know.

As for your sister, tell her exactly how you feel about her, that she is your best friend and your biggest role model, and how incredible a person you think she is. It won't fix everything, not by far, but hearing some positive things will go a long way for her right now.

High schoolers can be ridiculously cruel, talk to your parents about what was told to you because what was done was appalling. You parents should know and perhaps talk to the school administration. This was bullying, plain and simple and the school needs to address it. Your sister may not have told them herself because she is feeling so humiliated and hurt and telling them will just mean her having to say it out loud, but they need to know.

You need to inform your parents ASAP. She's probably going through worst phase of her life till now, she can end up harming herself.
Not just for her sake, ask your parents to complain about this activity to school. Such kind if activities can be really harmful for anyone. Students should learn a lesson.

Some people wrote me personal messages to send pictures of her so that they can weigh in on how attractive she really is and give tips for her on how to improve her looks.

Thank you for not doing this. People requesting for pictures just to judge her for themselves are being just as rude as those guys who made the list to begin with. My heart goes out to your sister because some people's need to be cruel is unnerving. As others have mentioned, I would hope that something like this would be handled properly by the school. The best you can do is be there for her to support her through the situation. Expressing your admiration for her and the things she does for you could go a long way.

First of all, you are such a good brother. I am an only child but I would have loved a brother like you.

Second of all, I'm going to echo what everyone else has been saying: tell your parents. I know how wrong it feels in your gut. You think they won't understand and that you're being a snitch. It's not like that at all. Adults have a whole set of tools to deal with this kind of stuff. Unless your parents are crappy people, which judging by how mature, smart and sensitive you sound I highly doubt, they will have a way to make things better. Your sister needs your love, but she also needs to know that her WHOLE family has her back. It's really important.

I'm just as disgusted from the boys' behavior as everyone else but is it really a good idea, as many here are suggesting, to tell the parents/school and get them disciplined? The only thing I see coming out of this is more retaliation from the boys, we all know word will get around about who told on them and I just see it getting worse for the sister. I mean will discipline stop their behavior? I doubt it.

I'm not saying I have answers, just don't want it to get worse for your sister.

I understand this concern, but the school doesn't have to say how they found out, just that it was reported to them. Any girl on that list, or anyone with a conscience could have told the school administration. No one needs to know who, but it should definitely be dealt with and those responsible should face harsh consequences. I know if I were a teacher or principal at this school I would be furious! This kind of thing scars people for life.

I think it is absolutely worth it to go to the principal of the school. They may be able to find these boys and have them suspended/expelled. Something needs to be done to show these boys that there is a price to their cruelty.

no, standing up for what is right is the right thing to do. If they continue out them on social media. Trust me when they are all older they'll look back and definitely feel guilty about how they made someone feel.

approach a cool teacher about it. Don't discuss the results say that it's come to your attention there was voting in your sister's grade or whatever about the "hotness" of women in the school or grade.

Maybe propose to your teacher if you think it's possible for the school to organize an assembly about objectifying of people, how women are whole people - not just stimulating objects.

The root of the issue is a trend in the school to de-humanize people, and make it cool, which in the end is the foundation for lots of hate, hate crimes etc.

Or write an anonymous email or letter to teacher(s) and/or principal, and /or VP.

like what in this case do you think happens to the "hottest" girl? That sort of shit is toxic all around

My advice on this front is that yes there probably will be a little retaliation, but the reward is SO much greater. They obviously aren't good people so losing them as potential friends doesn't matter. Other people they have bullied will be VERY grateful. At 17 highschool should be just about over and afterwards no one who dislikes her for standing up for herself will matter anyway.

She'll always have this moment where she stood up for herself to look back on and be proud.

Again, yes she'll probably get it a little worse in the now, but I think getting their asses in trouble is definitely worth it. Just be there and you can bond with your sister even more over the troubles that you can fight with her together.

I agree telling the school about it and getting "the guys" disciplined is not a good idea. All that will do is drag this issue on longer than it needs too. Go to her and ask her how shes doing. See if you can get the information out of her instead of telling her that you found out by so and so. Its easier to talk to someone if they tell you whats going on and open up to you.

This is what I'd worry about too. From a parents perspective, that would be the most just and right thing to do, but they don't have to live with the direct possible consequences that could have. Even if it stops the bullying out of fear of punishment, that doesn't stop the gossip that will have another chance to be going around. We all know people get even more snarky when they know someone told on them.

​

That being said, you should go hang out with your sister! Tell her how you look up to her. I might not even bring up what happened at all, she can probably assume you know. Try to get her to smile and laugh and forget about what happened for a second, it will feel good for her to be distracted from it. You two remind me of me and by brother :) Having a sibling you get along with so well is awesome!

Honestly, this is the only thing that's going to get actual, tangible results. You can talk about what to say to the sister all day long but nothing her family tells her is going to make her feel better. You can't reassure her about how "cool" she is, it will just reinforce the fact that she's not attractive (in her own mind). My mom calls me handsome all the time - it doesn't mean anything because your mom is supposed to say that kind of stuff.

Find the guy who may have headed up the vote and throw some hands his way. Take him down in the hallway and give a little ground and pound. The next day find one of his lackeys and do the same thing. The school wouldn't dare suspend you, just threaten to go on social media and expose their lack of control over the bullies in their school and how they make girls feel. Make a reputation for yourself as the crazy motherfucker who isn't to be messed with. It will put a smile on the sister's face and they'll be carrying her books for her when she comes back to school.

Or you can keep talking about feelings while she deals with low self-esteem for the rest of her life. If you're looking for an actual fix to the situation... you gotta rough these guys up. Her memory is either going to be "everyone at school called me ugly and they laughed at me and I didn't want to go back." -or- "These guys at school called me ugly and they got fucked up cuz that's what you get when you mess with me and my family."

Yes, I do think that exactly. I disagree that there are better ways to deal with it and yes I think knowing these guys got punched in the face will make her feel better. "Getting in trouble" when you're 15 means missing a few days of school, not a big deal. Someone calls your sister the ugliest one in class and you want to sing kumbayah? In every walk of life, if someone comes at your family this hard, you fuck them up or at least, let them know they're going to have one hell of an inconvenient day.

You do know, so I think it's in your best interest to be honest: tell her that you heard about what happened, and that those guys are assholes, and you're on her side to do something about it. I, as a grown-ass adult who wants to protect a 17 year old kid and is well out of high school, think that the administration should absolutely know about this. But I don't have to live through the fallout of that. That should be her decision, not yours or your parents.

Considering the throwing up, you might want to at least keep an eye on her for an eating disorder too. I developed one of those and let me tell you, you can be really miserable while really skinny too. It doesn't solve anything, it just makes more problems. You don't need to tell her she's beautiful, though. That always comes off as disingenuous, and it's not your opinion she cares about on that. Tell her that she's smart and taught you chess, that she's strong enough to teach you to climb trees, that you look up to her and admire her, that you love and care for her. That's what matters.

And then you can help her start thinking about the future. She's 17. I assume she has plans for college? Where does she want to go? What does she want to do? I got through shitty things in high school by remembering that I was going to get the fuck out of that shithole in two years / a year / six months and never see any of those gross awful people ever again. I made an escape plan and I got the hell out. And guess what? I got out and I never had to see any of those gross awful people again, and I'm much happier for it. Help her think about that. Help her focus on the future. Help her work toward a great big "fuck you" to this whole chapter of her life.

I would knock on her door and see if she is open to talking. If not leave her alone, but if so then go in and tell her all the things you appreciate about her that you mentioned in your post. She is 17... she is probably crying because they said she was the ugliest girl, but she may also be crying for a more subconscious reason. At that age and being a teen girl, sometimes it’s hard to separate how attractive you are and self worth. This incident probably made her feel so, so worthless. Sad but reality. Tell her all the things you appreciate about her as a person. Don’t mention her looks. Chances are maybe she’s ugly. Ok. The message you want to send, which will really be the thing to fix this, is that her worth comes from who she is, and by your description she sounds fucking awesome

Tell her to be strong and keep her head up. Its through pain and adversity that we develop into better, more resilient forms of ourselves. She sounds like a very kind person, and that will enrich her adult life in so many more ways then being an attractive girl in high school would have the potential too. At 31 years old, one realization I've come to is that high school concerns become things to laugh about later in life.

I don't really have any advice on how to deal with the emotional side of that, but hopefully she can take solace in knowing that how you are in highschool/when you are young is not always how you will look. I've known a few girls who were not at all good looking who turned into knockouts in their 20's, things really do change and lots of people are late bloomers.

This hits so close to home. I feel for your sister. High school can be relentless and ruthless. It’s bad enough those boys made a list like that, but to then share the list? Ugh. Fuck them.

I was in a VERY similar situation as your sister. I was the ugly duck. I didn’t wear make up or wear the kinds of clothes the “ pretty and popular” girls wore, nor had I even started to develop really. To top it off, my best friends were drop dead GORGEOUS and for the first half of high school, everyone constantly let me know that I was the ugly friend. They too made a list during lunch with all of our peers around - and ofcourse, I was placed at the bottom. It was humiliating. I hated myself.

Somewhere in the middle of high school puberty finally came and hit me like a brick. I went from A cups to C cups, my hips filled out, I started to give a shit about how I presented myself, I grew out my hair, etc. And then alllllllllllll of a sudden, all the boys who mercilessly teased me were being very nice to me and messaging me outside of school. I wish I could say I was the bigger person but... Rejecting those boys and making them feel as badly as they made me feel for years was a liberating experience.

It hurts, because we all care to some degree about the opinions those around us hold, especially during such a vulnerable time such as high school. I doubt those boys will ever understand how deep a blow they delivered to your sister. I understand your feelings about not wanting to discuss this with her because you’re worried she might think the whole school knows - but honestly, when those boys made that list about me, all I needed to hear was that I WASNT UGLY. that the opinions a bunch of high school boys hold of me arent a fact. That I’m worthy, that someone sees beauty in me. That person, coincidentally enough, was MY little brother (only a year younger) who was on the football team (as were a lot of the “list” guys) and therefore heard about it. He told me that those guys were assholes, told me funny embarrassing stories he had of them, told me about how some of his friends think I’m cute. Who knows if that was true but my god, it lifted so much of that painful weight off me.

My advice to you is - talk to her. Let her know she doesn’t have to hurt alone. Let her know that one day, some guy out there is going to think she is the most beautiful woman alive. Tell her that so many of us have gone through the same thing and she isn’t alone. Tell her she is NOT ugly. And tell her you love and value her.

wow.. this is awful. And all of it right now is very, very raw. I can understand wanting to act right now, but also feeling like it isn't your place to tell.

What you wrote here is actually amazing:

I would never admit this to anyone in real life because it sound so dorky, but my sister is actually my best friend and biggest role model, she is awesome at so many things like playing chess and tree climbing which she taught me.

You are right about going up to here and saying 'Hey sis, I don't think you're ugly!'. That would be so, so painful right now and totally not have the effect you're hoping it will have.

If you want something you can do today, how about writing her a letter (maybe even handwritten!) about how you noticed she is sad, and you're writing her to let her know about how amazing she is and what she means to you. Don't say anything about the vote or make it about her physique, make it about her. Let her know you're there for her and that she's more than welcome to talk if she wants to. Write down all the dorky stuff you can think of, really, it it's just your 15 year old brain telling you it's stupid, but it isn't! You can leave the letter somewhere in her room and slide it under her door. You don't have to have a conversation right away: like I said, it might be too raw at the moment. But a letter might make her feel a bit better right now.

Whether you tell your parents: you don't have to decide today. Maybe, with a bit more time, you can get your sis to open up and convince her to tell your parents herself.

Really hoping everything works out for you guys. You’re a good brother, go give your sis a hug and know that those bullies ain’t sh*t. Assuming your sister is going to college soon, she’ll find her niche and be away from those superficial losers.

I think you should tell you parents. This is bullying and not acceptable. The school should figure out who were the instigators of this sick joke and expel them. Banter should be fine and school is a social place too where children learn what is normal and fun behaviour and is time for these assholes to suffer some consequences.

Comfort her dude. She sounds like an awesome person. What a bunch of pricks. You could also bring it up to management. Honestly I'm not sure what I would do if I was your sister besides laugh it off and try not to be hurt. But that's very very very very hard. :/ And usually a lie. It almost always hurts. I'm sorry I hope she feels better.

Oh.. I am so sorry.. 20 years ago I had something similar happen to me in hs. I wish I had a loving younger brother as yourself to help me out.. When I was 15-16 I was told to my face i was ugly daily.. These girls would even greet me that way.. I never told anyone. Never reported it.
If you decided to tell your parents, good for you. Your sister will always love you even if she will not be pleased at first that mum and dad know about this.
If you decided to help her on your own, good for you. I'm sure Google will help you find beautiful, successful people that were not considered the 'typical' beauty in hs.
Keep reminding her why she is the best sister, your best friend and ask her what would she do in your shoes.
University is around the corner.. It's a new world... Everything will change for the better.
Your sister sounds like a wonderful young lady.. Be strong.. Stand by her.. Your parents should be proud of you.

So first of all, your sister didn't tell you abut this, but since you heard about it in school I think you should tell her what you heard and tell her how angry it makes you and how you hate seeing her so upset.

As for talking about your sister's appearance... I think you should be careful about saying anything about it. The most important thing is that it doesn't matter what assholes think about her appearance, and her worth is not based on how she looks. But that said, she may be feeling badly about how she looks and insecure. A genuine, believable, positive comment about her appearance could do her some good. But a positive comment she doesn't find genuine or believable could make her feel even worse - like it's true that she's the ugliest because even her brother feels the need to lie about her appearance to make her feel better.

I think your instinct not to tell your parents about it is correct. She may not want them to know, it might make her feel even worse. Instead, ask her what she's going to do, if she's going to tell your parents or someone at the school about this. But do tell her that it's apparently not a secret and the school and/or your parents are probably going to find out about this eventually.

First of all, you are such a good brother for wanting to comfort her. Right now she feels like her world is crashing. Make her feel special. Compliment her, call her pretty, make her feel loved. Even though it’s only from her brother it definitely will make her feel a tiny bit special. Only time will heel her wounds.

Listen, you sound like a really good brother and your sister sounds like a very good person. It is messed up what they did, unfornuately high school can be cruel. I believe what happened is considered bullying, I would get your parents to get in touch with the school or you can to. My school had a zero tolerance policy and I hope yours does to. Hope you and your sister feel better. Don't let this get you down, there are good people in the world - usually you'll find out whats important after college. So don't get to upset now, usually those bullies end up going no where and you guys will have a bright future.

This story breaks my heart. Reminds me of junior high when we had opinion books where every page rated kids on some superficial level. Please tell your parents or a guidance counselor. I agree with other posts an adult should be involved.

This is one of those times in life where running away is probably the best option. She feels humiliated and embarrassed; I don’t think anyone could go back to school after such a traumatic event.

Whether or not the perpetrators were punished, she will still be bullied and talked about. Socially, theres nothing she could do to turn this around or fix it. She could try to just ignore it and wait it out till college but that is just emotional torture.

Talk to your parents, have her switch school districts. A fresh start wont heal all wounds, wont solve all problems but it’ll lessen the damage on her psyche and it’ll limit further damage others can cause.

Make her laugh. Make her happy. You don’t even need to talk about the situation at hand, but just take her mind off of it. Do something you did as kids. Make a fort, watch a funny movie, climb trees, play chess. Be a friend. It’s so awesome you’re in her life to care about her. I wouldn’t even mention it yet unless she wants to talk about it. There’s nothing you can do about other idiots in this world, so just focus on being happy. Fuck them. In ten years, she’ll remember this situation and realize that she’s better than a high school list of attractiveness. Beauty fades, dumb is forever.

Whoa, man. They did this study once where they asked boys and girls to rank the attractiveness of the opposite sex in their class at the beginning and at the end of the year. At the beginning, there was general agreement among the groups. By the end of the year, there were marked differences. Because, contrary to popular opinion, who you are and what you do actually DOES influence attraction for both men and women to a reasonable degree. Is it going to make someone who is deeply unhealthy look attractive? No. But if you're of reasonable weight, take care of your hygiene reasonably well, then people's attraction to you will be significantly impacted by how you present yourself and how you act/speak.

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Which means the very IDEA of a list is insane. It reflects, at best, the most dominant boy group's opinion, likely heavily influenced by a small minority of boys.

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Then again, this might have zero to do with the objectiveness of the insult but rather just the public shame associated with this. My Dad would have helped me get over this. He would've said something like,

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"So, those boys are assholes. But I PROMISE you that not all the boys were involved and there are many boys who find you attractive because I promise you are NOT ugly. Have I ever lied to you? No. And I never would. So, let's just take the whole 'i'm ugly' thing off the table because it's an ugly lie and you're too smart to fall for that bullshit just because some idiot boys got together to feel cool by making other people feel small. But there ARE ugly people out there, of both genders, and it's important to remember that's the least important part of them. Their characters are what matter. And the ugly, ugly character of those boys was made clear today. If anyone should feel embarrassed or ashamed, it's them. This is a great opportunity to remember that we don't and can't care about the opinions of idiots and assholes; it just hurts us and gives them power they shouldn't have."

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I don't know your Dad, but I'd believe my Dad over anyone and anything. And he would be able to fix this for me at any age. I'd get your Dad if he has a good relationship with her. Def tell your parents.

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EDIT: Another thing. I'm not sure she noticed this but I remember when boys in HS were judging the attractiveness of girls that they actually were including some relatively unattractive girls, which was super confusing. So I tried to figure out what the hell was going on because I knew I was attractive and I was being "beaten" by girls I thought were sig. less attractive.

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Then I realize their judgement of attraction wasn't actually about looks but about flags of sexual availability/readiness; if a girl turned them on or they thought they had a chance with her they considered the girl 'attractive'. To be specific, if a healthy weight girl wore makeup, revealing/tight clothes, had large breasts, and/or flirted a lot or had a bubbly personality that was perceived as flirting she could be, objectively, rather unattractive in terms of facial symmetry but she'd be ranked way high in terms of attractiveness by high school boys.

Call the admins at the school, report what happened, then ask them to get to the bottom of it. Let them know you are calling the news about this if they are unable to solve it. Call every day for an update and pressure them. They will eventually break.

Since shit always rolls downhill, the kids responsible will feel it within about a week of your bitching. Believe me, this will work.

Sorry if someone already said this, I did not read all of the comments. But if you do not want to tell the school... I would find a way to tell the parents of the boys who participated. I’m sure most mothers would like to know how their son’s are acting and would punish them accordingly.

If you have supportive parents that would help in this situation, I would tell them. I see that not everyone has that so if you think that your parents couldn’t help or wouldn’t help then don’t tell them. By making the situation better, I mean supporting your sister and taking this issue to the school administration and being angry on your sisters behalf. By making the situation worse, I mean ignoring your sister, laughing at what happened or getting angry at her for not telling them or any other misdirection of that anger. I had parents like that so my siblings and I had to be there for each other.

If they will make the situation better then tell them ASAP, if they will make the situation worse, don’t tell them and just be there for your sister like she was there for you. Bring her food, her favorite shows and sit with her and talk. Tell her she’s a great sister and you love her.

Trust me when I say that the best reaction your parents can have is being mad at the other students and the school and taking this shit all the way up the administration. Don’t avoid telling them because you’re scared they will “blow it up” with the school admin. The best thing they can do is blow it up as long as they are sweet and sympathetic to your sister.

A little alternative thought here but, I think she will be OK. Just be the best you can be to her but this just needs time to pass. I had exactly the same when I was her age and the worst part was that my 'best' guy friend was part of making such a hotness list (in which I was also the lowest rank). I was upset for a day or two and than I kinda forgot about it and continued living my life. Now I'm a doctor with a good career and a loving partner, not even sure how this event effected me the slightest in later life. So yeah, she sounds like a tuff girl, these things happen and you're very sweet to care about her and that's all I think you should do right now.

Tell your sister that a previous ugly duckling ‘least attractive in xxx’ person on the internet grew up to be hot and people in college were falling over to get with.

No joke. High schoolers are a rough crowd. They are kinda awful and find glorious ways to prey on insecurity. You must know, tbh.

As for how to make your sister feel better — you gotta tell her you love her and make her feel special and worthwhile and like she has a cherished place in your life. However you want to do that best. I’m not sure that this is quite ‘get her professional help ASAP’ so much as it’s just shitty and making her feel less shitty is the key.

I would knock on her door with her favorite book, and read it out loud to her doing all the voices, like she did to you.

Dont even ask about what happened. She might open up to you if you are just present, and even if she doesnt, she’ll know she’s not alone and be reminded that she’s got worth. Maybe if the oppertunity present itself you can ask if she wants to talk about it. If she says no, go back to reading.

I wish I had advice that could help right this second; but, all I can really say is - none of this will matter after HS, at all.

The wonderful things you described about your sister make it clear she is an incredible and caring person, someone you can trust, look up to, and love. After high school, all those qualities are going to matter way more than some ridiculous 'hotness ranking' that likely means nothing in the first place.

It can be hard, and it can feel forever away, but once she is out the hell that is high school, she will be way ahead of the losers making the list. Being a dick doesn't get you anywhere in the real world, being a good person like her will give her friends for life.

As an older sister to two younger brothers....PLEASE tell her. Please.

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I am so sorry about those fucking assholes. I wish I could give you advice that would help heal her hurt, but I don't know that answer. I just know half those dickbacks are probably ugly as sin and have zero right to talk. Who says they make the rules on who is hot or not?

How awful. This is straight up bullying behaviour OP. I would be willing to bet that your school has some kind of bullying policy. You need to confid in your parents so that they can pursue this with the school.

For you personally OP, you are showing a wonderful sense of compassion and empathy for your family. Don't you change except that you must find a way to tell your sis how you look up to her. It would mean the world to her.

This fills me with fucking rage! A group of guys did this when I was in highschool (Christian highschool) and makes me feel so shitty that dumb ass boys feel the need to rank girls like this. I didn't do anything about it and I feel so guilty. Tell your parents, tell a guidance counselor, or even the fucking principal. Your sister doesn't deserve to have this shit happen to her. There is no excuse for this and they need to suffer consequences.

So I have a unique connection to this story. When I was 14, I was voted ugliest by maybe 30 or 40 guys. It absolutely crushed me. I had horrible self esteem for a few years after that.

Then I learned that confidence is far more attractive to men than appearance. And as I got older, lost my baby fat, got healthier, learned how to style my hair, makeup and clothes...well I know men find me very attractive now! I have very easy success with dating, women seem interested in talking about fashion with me, etc. I feel very pretty these days. The truth is, those guys who voted me ugliest were just huge jerks. And beauty is not something that is just given to everybody, sometimes it is learned. If your sister wants to talk to me, send me a PM <3

I remember myself at 17 and I can say that I was not the most attractive girl in school, but the thing is, outward beauty is really not a difficult accomplishment.

Beauty is all about WHO you are and not what you look like. There are so many people who have conventional outward beauty but they are so ugly inside that it is irrelevant what they actually look like.

You should hang out with your sister and get her mind off the situation. Talk to her. Tell her you can see that she is not herself and that you want to know why because she is so important to you. This will help her realize who is actually important in her life and how those opinions matters more because you actually know who she is on the inside.

Women truly are like butterflies; we go through a metamorphosis from high school through college. She will find the outward beauty that complements who she is on the inside as she goes through this process.

Tell her to focus on her goals and not what others think. What matters is what SHE thinks.

Another point to remember when you are getting your revenge....your sister just suffered a humiliation that, most likely, will be unable to be surpassed. This means you have nothing to lose! There is nothing anyone can do or say that is worse than being voted most ugly.

I'd be finding out who did this at this point and plotting some nasty surprises for some of these dopes.

You should tell your parents and they should report this to the school. The people responsible should be punished.

But, you and your parents should also help her bounce back from this apart from the authorities. I would think a good thing to do is to muster up the courage to ignore the bullies instead of letting them know they got to her. Tell her to go back to school and hold her head high. If asked about it, be honest about everything except her own feelings: I'd focus the convo on how they are bullies, how sick they must be to think that thing was fun, how sad their lives must be to think women are objects, etc.

Another thing, I don't think such a list is really about "hotness." I don't know if this thinking would help, but when bullies try things like this, it's more about who they can get away with saying is ugly. The meek girl, the girl who won't fight back, the girl they are not friends with, that is the girl that will be called ugly, no matter how she looks. Does this sound like your sister?

And yet another thing, a lot of the prettiest models were awkward looking when younger. So many of them talk about being the "ugly duckling" in high school. We don't know if this will ever apply to your sister, but this list is no proof of anything.

I would talk to her privately about how this hurts. But I would help her develop some armor for her public face. Because fuck those guys. Don't let them win. Best of luck to you and her.

My heart is breaking for your poor sister. Well done for being such a supportive brother.

This is exactly what parents fear when sending their children to school. I know I do. I think you need to tell your parents so they can go into school and ask what they are going to do to right the wrongs those horrible horrible boys have done.

I feel like this needs to be reported to a guidance counselor or school admin. This is clearly bullying (not just for your sister but the other girls as well). Teenage boys are some of the dumbest people on earth and things like this will send those who may/not be depressed over the edge because unfortunately in hs these kinds of things (that honestly don’t matter as you get older) are things we focus on so much in these years. This is a crushing thing and in the end it is bullying and the boys who wrote this up should be dealth with by school admin. Of course you can report it in a general sense without including your sisters name but instead report it as something going around the school that includes most of the females and it has been bringing about negative reactions from many.

I’m reminded of a quote I know “they won’t remember what you said, they won’t remember what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel”. I don’t think it’s important that you know exactly what to say, but just being there and expressing that you care for her a lot is going to help. You’re 15, so obviously you won’t get some sort of magical advice that will fix everything. But never underestimate your power to make her life better right now

You’re such a good brother, I know this hearts your heart. What you and your sister need to understand is that this “hot list” has nothing to do with your sister’s appearance, this is just an excuse to bully people. When I was in high school the boys would do the same thing. You make sure your sister knows she’s beautiful and they just did that to make people feel bad because they can, that’s what bullies do. I at least think you should talk to your sister about telling your parents, they can help her feel better if she talks to them.

You’re being a good brother by being so thoughtful and protective of your sister, and also by being considerate of how she might react to having this story shared with others. But you’ve got to tell your parents. They need to intervene in some way, and your sister needs their support and advocacy. What you can keep doing after that is being a good and loving brother, spending time with her doing activities she enjoys (even if she’s “sick,” maybe she would enjoy a board or video game, or doing a puzzle), and if it becomes clear you know the full story, a reassuring note about how wonderful she is and how important she is to you. I know my relationship with my younger brother is so important to me. It lifts me up when I am reminded how highly he thinks of me.

This is so awful! I know even adults would be traumatized by something like this! I wouldnt tell her that you know but just tell her you know she is upset and that you love her. Man..im super worried about her. I wonder if you should tell your parents?

You’re so sweet. You should absolutely go to your parents and have them go to the school. This is unacceptable behavior and I don’t know what school you go to but mine had a zero tolerance policy for this type of thing. Your parents should push to have the school address this in a REAL way. These young men need to be schooled on how to behave appropriately toward women.

I think there is some great advice in this thread, but I'd like to give some alternate perspectives. I'm old enough to have perspective on this issue, but I'm also young enough to remember what it's like to be a teenager. My best friend stood up to bullying at our school and she got harassed (to the point of death threats) and had to change schools. Yes, you'd like to think that these boys would be brought to justice, but the reality is that high schools aren't always great at disciplining students (especially when so many of them are involved like in this case). Reporting them could just make her situation worse.
Also if this were me and my parents found out, I would feel so embarrassed and guilty. I love my parents, but there are certain lights that I wouldn't want them to see me in, and I wouldn't want to worry them about something like this either.
My advice is to first just hang out with your sister and see if she brings the issue up herself. Try asking her leading questions and see if she is ready to open up to you. Once she knows you are aware of the issue, you should ask her what she wants to do about the situation - don't go to your parents or the school if she doesn't want that. She could just want to tough it out until she graduates (which should be soon, right?). Make sure you support her through whatever she wants in this situation and don't let her isolate herself. She will need support from family and friends through this. Finally, make sure to remind her that high school is not representative of what real life is. In university and in the workplace, people are much more mature and she probably won't ever encounter a situation like this ever again.
Best of luck!

This incident should be reported to the school OP. This is bullying 101 and schools are usually interested in hearing about these issues. We hear situations like this all the time and kids are hurting themselves over these kinds of incidents. It is not ok.

this is honestly the worst thing i've ever heard happening to someone in high school. how horrifically cruel.

the school NEEDS to know, your parents need to know, and lastly, your sister needs to know that ultimately, this list isn't even about her at all.

the only thing this completely subjective list says is that the people who made it are ugly, truly, inside and out and that these ugly boys don't even know her or anything about her beauty. you know your sister is beautiful whether it has to do with her appearance or not.

please let her know how much you look up to her and love her, because in this time she must be feeling so low and worthless– because we all know high school is a time when we think appearances are the things that make up who we are, even if it isn't true at all.

When I was in high school a girl wrote up a "senior slam list" & distributed copies of it in every girls bathroom in the school.... it was awful! I wasn't on it, but it was very hurtful to all the people who were on the list....

Tell your parents- they need to contact the school & the school needs to get to the bottom of this!!

Tell your sister the truth about how you found out about it & remind her that guys can be total assholes. Tell her that seeing how this hurts her makes you aware that you never want to make anyone feel the way this list has made her feel.

Remind her that she's almost done with high school & she never has to deal with these jerks again.

And if she want's to talk to someone, send her my way- I was a "weirdo" in high school & never had a boyfriend & you know what... life goes on. The kind of people who write shit like this are the kind of people who peaked in high school & will end up working shitty jobs in the future.

Just be there for her.

You could even show her this thread & all the folks who have experienced situations like this.

Holy crap op I'm so sorry for this. I also suffered with bullying for a long time due to my heavy accent and weight. It wasn't until I told my parents that it stopped as they became INCENSED with the school. Please tell your parents and be there for your sister, I know if it was my child I would be out for blood. I don't know where you are, but this degree of unchecked bullying could get someone fired. Let your parents take this as high as it needs to so your sister (and other girls) can feel safe again.

This is why I hate teenagers. They're needlessly cruel. I'm of the minds though that when people are bullying you, you have to bully them back. Administrators don't listen and teachers are too overworked to care about school social politics. Revenge can really lift spirits.

You should definitely tell her what you think of her. Looks aren't anything compared to who a person is holistically, and you know that. Maybe telling her how much she means to you would help her see that she is so more than some immature little boys' list. Also, looks change so much as people grow and change themselves. There's still a lot to go. Good luck and hope your sister feels better soon!

Oh man, I'm so sorry your sister is going through this. This is bullying, this isn't a fun class superlative... she's being bullied. Teenagers are the worst, especially when boys get together in large groups, they tend to want to fit in and say the same thing as what the majority of the crowd is saying, and "be cool". So I'm willing to bet that of those 50 boys that made the list, probably half of them don't really feel she's ugly, a lot of them may not even remember who she is/what she looks like, and then a small percentage of them are the real true assholes who want to make her cry. If you decide to talk to her about this, make sure you tell her that teenage boys are dumb in large groups (not all, but most), and that it simply isn't true that they feel she's the ugliest girl in the grade, they were just being guys. In 10 years, most of them will have matured enough to feel ashamed for what they wrote in that list.

My heart goes out to her. Just go talk to her about it, hug her, that good stuff. I definitely would talk to her after she calms down a bit about telling your parents so you guys could report it to school authorities and hopefully something will get done. She'll probably forever be screwed up about it. If there's a way to move schools, that would be a good last resort imo. It would be cool if "people have types, and they're just teenage assholes" is pointed out to her

Are those “it gets better” videos still around? High school contained the worst years of my life and I really wish I could go tell half-on-the-edge-of-suicide 15 year old me that later me would happily ditch high school reunions, live my best life, and not think about the transient beauty standards of a bunch of nasty minded virgins that got bored in math.

She’s 17 and close to being out of there. It’s cliche, but I’m 38, and holy crap, it gets so much better. High school translates to adult life in no appreciable way and the guys making fun of her now will probably be the ones who have the most trouble adjusting to reality.

this is bullying and should be reported and addressed for everyone's benefit, not just your sister. hopefully there is official paper trail so that one of those assholes doesnt become a supreme court justice in the future

just be there for your sister. what happened happened and you cant sugar coat it. just let her know how you found out and that you are there for her. tell her the things you told us about how she has been there for you, how you look up to her, how you dont think she is ugly and how you want you reciprocate being there for her. you dont even need to try to fix it. she is sad , justifiably, and show her you will be there for her on the path back to happiness.

It's hard to say how to best comfort her because different people want different things. For example, I want to be left along while others want attention. You are her brother and you would know best.

My only advice is to do activities together. Make absolutely sure that you present your request in such a way that it's her doing you the favor and not you pitying her. There is nothing worse than back-handed help. Maybe something like signing up for a race together. "Hey sis, I want to sign up for a 10k race next year and I don't want to do it alone. Could you sign up with me"?

I suggested running because exercise helps people recovery from depression pretty effectively. Also getting fit is a pretty huge confidence booster. But it can be anything as long as you do it together and share enthusiasm for it.

To be honest there is nothing you can do or say that will make her instantly feel better. She is rightfully upset and only time will fix it. The most you can do is be there for her and keep her mind occupied.

What you can do is be there for her and tell her exactly what you told us about how much she means to you and how proud of her you are. Explain to her that a large part of humanity is wired to be evil and they need to hurt others in order to feel better about themselves. Anybody who has to resort to such behavior is simply a horrible human being. Your sister sounds like a great person and human being and I guarantee you that if you ask her if she has any desire to hurt somebody like this, she will say no.

This is a huge shock for her for I went through the same thing when I was in high school but having a good support system is definitely what she needs right now.

I have found in my darkest hours, that the people who made sure I didn't have to go through it alone were the the ones who helped the most. If you can't make her laugh, just sit with her and hold her hand, or hug her if she'll let you. Sometimes just being there is the most important way you can help.

Let her decide when to talk about it - don't even ask. She'll talk when she's ready. When she is - tell her she was judged unfairly by people who don't know what they are talking about. Make sure you tell her why you look up to her, that's important stuff right there.

As an adult who used to be a teenage girl, I can tell you that teenage kids are jerks. Little brothers are awesome, and she obviously loves you as much as you love her. You can help her, just by being you. (((HUGS)))

My siblings are absolutely my best friends and I’m not ashamed in the least! We’re all grown up now but live in the same city and hang out often. I’m most comfortable around them and it’s just low maintenance chills which I love. Never be ashamed of loving your family! You’ll understand one day. Which is stupid and cliche I know but the older yo get the more you know why cliches are cliches.

Also fuck all those people who are mean to your sister. Not one single person is perfect so they have no right to judge. Tell your sister to hold her high and love who she is no matter what people say. No one gets to decide your self worth but yourself, don’t let them take any from her.

Have her back and stand strong with her. She’ll never forget it, trust me!

Wow what a mature kid. I wish my younger brother and I had this relationship growing up. If this happened to me he would have just joined in with the other meanies and made fun of me too. The fact that you’re so supportive and caring about her well being will show through to her, and that’s all she needs right now. Keep doing what you’re doing!

I was voted "ugliest" in high school so I get how she feels. It sounds like your sister is pretty awesome and has a fulfilling life and is a really good sibling to you. Bottom line - Teens are mean and the bullying should be reported. Will anything be done about it? Maybe not but its best that she can talk about how this has impacted her so that it doesnt become an issue with her self esteem. For me, it wasnt that I was necessarily ugly, just that the boys didnt like that I was sure of myself and outspoken and wanted to take me down a peg I guess. As soon as we graduated they were all asking for dates, so there is a real possibility here that your sister is a really cool girl and that freaks them out too much. Hope she is feeling better soon, and I really hope she retains her sense of self worth against all those horrible kids at school

Very unfair to make rankings like that. Unfortunately somebody always has to be the last. Even if they find your sister ugly, tell her that she is still young and everything can change. It can easily happen after a couple years that the some of the guys who made this ranking will beg for a date with your sister.

This makes me sick to my stomach. I would definitely tell your parents so they can contact the school and have those responsible punished or reprimanded. Your parents should also know as this level of bullying has a great chance to permanently affect your sisters mental health and body image from here on out. If/once your parents know they should consider finding a therapist for your sister to help work through this.
I’m so sorry this has happened, teenagers are vile nowadays and can be extremely cruel. Sending you and yours lots of love.
Side note: for the Reddit creeps asking for your sisters picture- you are insensitive assholes and creepy. I would also recommend reporting these creeps to moderators- it’s not right.

This is tough and pretty fucked up, if you ask me. However, these kinds of people exist everywhere and they are not worth your time at all. In the grand scheme of things, these people will be so insignificant in your life that and you'll learn to never associate with these people. If I were in this situation, I would just put everything into perspective.

Regarding her looks, it's definitely tough to hear that. But there are so, so many people you can meet in life and you are bound to find someone who will like you for you, and not just based on looks. If she's still self-conscious, advise her to workout or join a gym, because even just establishing a workout routine can help immensely with confidence, both physically and mentally.

See if she would like to play a game with you. Maybe watch a show or movie together. Sometimes distractions can help take away what she's going through even if for a brief moment. Just be there for her without mentioning anything. If she chooses to tell you then you can tell her how beautiful she is.

Sadly this "ranking" will stay with her forever. Sucks that people in our lives for a brief moment can have a life long negative effect. She may never see these people again but they permanently set up residence in her mind on how she may think the world sees her. I'm sorry this happened to your sister.

It's tough for me to berate the guys because this practice was common when I was in high school...except it was the girls doing it. This was back in the late 80s...a time where we solved our problems one on one. Tough call with you sister. Not sure what you can say because the jury has spoken and nothing can take that back. It's obvious their judgement is very important to her so I think trashing the guys would be superficial. This is less about the guys and more about her self esteem/confidence. I'd really like an update on how you handle this...this whole situation sucks...best wishes on that one.

Reporting it to a school in which the school has actual repercussions for it will send a message to future bullies that there are repercussions for bullying and create a healthier environment for teens not to fucking blow their brains out

Kids are so fucked up, I swear to god. Little sadists, every single one.

Advice - Everything at your age seems important, but its really not. It hurts, but eventually she'll get passed it and it'll be a distant memory. I can't lie and say she won't look back and cringe for the rest of her life, but she'll have friends and a partner that will make her forget about how that feels, and right now she has her brother who clearly cares about her. Give her space.

Everyone is beautiful In their own way and shape and maybe she will go on to out duck all the other ugly ducklings and work hard to maintain her appearance even after they have all let themselves go in 5 yrs. Give her hope!

We can't all be the most attractive person. Bit that absolutely doesn't mean she isn't attractive. There isn't much you can say or do to fix this. She will find someone that honestly believes she is the only one for her.

If you were to start a patreon or something for a complete makeover for your sister, I would defiantly contribute. Attractiveness is generally a state and makeup artists and photoshop professionals are paid big bucks to take advantage of this. I, and I think many people here would contribute to show your sister that attractiveness is just a matter of how much effort you through into it... and show those guys who voted her down that they don’t know shit.

Actually, OP ... these peeps are probably right. My first thought was prove them wrong, but I think maybe they have a better insight into the situation. I just think attractiveness is variable, not a permanent trait but something that is very much fluid. How do you show someone that?