Have you ever been surprised that coming home has not felt like the ‘good to be home’ phrase?

How do you come home from holiday? I’ve been on disastrous holidays where coming home was welcome relief to get out of the damp tent and home to the washing machine, a warm bath and my own bed. Other times the trip away was heaven, purely magical and a real break from the routine of normal daily life. This year the summer when we normally have a break was an unusual one. Due to life events and work projects being pushed into the autumn our intended last-minute holiday became an autumn planned break and the 6 long summer weeks became very empty.

We did go away for a weekend at the in-laws who live near the coast which was refreshing. I don’t know about you but time at the coast and near to the sea refreshes my soul. Do you find that? On the return though I faced the feeling of coming home not feeling like, coming home. After the disappointment of the summer, the constant presence and needs of the kids (which is an extra drain on an introverted parent), I found myself not looking forward to going home and when I did, walking through the door and being hit by all the frustrations.

All the frustrations of where we currently live came flooding in; the renting, the too-small bedrooms for the kids, the thin carpet (that my son fell on and cut his knee on the poking-through gripper rods, not ten minutes after walking through the door – cue the eye-roll). The peeling paint on the bathroom ceiling. The hurricane that had swept through the home in the frantic laundry-washing and packing hours before departure, and the lack of time for cleaning that the summer had afforded me. My exhaustion that had prevented me from wanting to deal with the clutter that had accumulated on all the surfaces.

How do you deal with that? Where do you begin? If money was no object then all of these niggly frustrations could be dealt with. I could buy a bigger house, hire a cleaner, have an exotic holiday in the most beautiful location and hotel. Would that solve my dissatisfaction? I want to think so – but deep down, I’m not so sure.

At any point in having a home, there is always that thing that needs fixing, the room that needs decorating, the space that just doesn’t work for the function it’s intended for. This summer there would always have been the children that spent too much time in front of screens and their presence/fights/requests/chatter when I just wanted to finish that thought.

And there’s the rub, there will always be life circumstances that dictate and influence your decisions and never truly afford you the freedom that you think you want.

So how to get through this? Because I can’t live with feeling irritable by all the frustrations, it spirals into exhaustion. Maybe these steps might help you too if you ever feel this way.

First step

Be kind to yourself. I had a bath. While all the mess was still there. Ignoring the peeling paint on the ceiling. The bags needed unpacking, the house needed cleaning, but I just. couldn’t. deal.

Big breaths, space, time and relaxation.

Then, small steps

I unpacked, I focused only on my bedroom space, cleared the surfaces, changed the linen, went to bed.

Practice gratitude

Ignoring the frustrations, I could be grateful for the roof over my head, for the children that fill my life with love and joy. For the good times and memories that we did have this summer. That I get be creative, that I have a choice, at least in creativity. That God has the best for me.

Look forward

I made plans, small creative first steps for when the children go back to school. I thought about some of the frustrations in the home that bother me and the ones that I can actually do something about. I ordered some new straps for the Ercol sofa that I need to fix. I can’t afford the cushion right now but I can get the straps. I made plans for the creative projects that I could attempt around the home during the next season.

Messy ercol sofa that needs new straps and seat cushion

Get creative

I thought about the things about a break that make me feel refreshed; the sea, the colour blue, the slow days, time for reading. And how I could feel more at peace at home, how could I refresh my soul with the senses at home? I printed some photos as magnets to decorate my home with the good times. I wrote this post. I made something. I got creative on Instagram. I picked up books again.

Purpose

Slowly I came back to thinking about the purpose of home and how time flies away. If we wait for when home is perfect before we do anything, share it with others, make it our own, we will miss out. Because the truth is, it will never be perfect.

Here’s to you, making a home wherever you are – you are doing a great job, loving your people, being creative, living out love. Keep on.

Also as thanks for reading this far, here’s a bonus!

If you’d like to print out some of your good times for decorating your home with, then I have a £5 code for you to use at Lalalab. I used them for printing some Instagram photos as magnets and they look great on my fridge. If you use the code I get credit to my account too so thanks for that 🙂

The code is: PG2559O0 – note that it’s O (letter) 0 (number) on the end of that code there! so confusing I know!

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Entryways are important, because they set the tone to the rest of the home. They are an introduction to you and your family, they are a welcome to you, your family and your guests. Entryways or halls are like the first chapter to the story of your family’s life. You can tell people what to expect here, you can welcome you family home from their days with a relaxing tone, a safe haven from the worries of the day.

When I walk in through my home’s door I want to feel that sense of coming home to all that is familiar and known – unfortunately often it’s a case of tripping over the strewn school bags and discarded shoes. But that says home to me too! My family is here and we’ve come together after our days apart at school and work. Our entryway is functional, there is a bench to sit on whilst taking off those shoes, there is a bowl for keys on a shelf. There is a place to store the shoes and coats. But I’ve also hung the family driftwood sign, which states this is our place, our haven, our home as we walk in the door, drop the bags, shoes, keys and concerns of the day.

Often entries or hallways are purely functional, we don’t always think about setting the tone, atmosphere or expectation.

Entryway pin is the most popular

I’m surprised that my most re-pinned image on a Pinterest board of mine is one of a Entryway. And it gets re-pinned A LOT! It seems that people can’t get enough of it. Want to see? It’s this one:

Image source: @thegracehouse

I eventually found the image from @thegracehouse on Instagram. I’ve since discovered the beautiful site of the designer; Jennifer of grace house interiors and her style is beautiful. You can see the same entryway as she changes up the style seasonally.

Using the image as inspiration I decided to source some of the items to recreate her look. I created a Pinterest board based on it with sources for where you can get these items. You can see more of the board here and find all the delightful items curated.

I’ve been thinking more about the the meaning behind the items that we create. I love the wooden sign in the picture above. I think when we create items which have something to say which resonates with our life or soul or reminds us of some truth then we are more motivated to make them and finish them! I’ve curated a book of creative devotional projects which provide tutorials and thinking space for you to make beautiful items out of time spent thinking about who God says you are. How he designed you to create and restores your soul through your creativity. You can see more here.

Here are some of the items in the book that would also work great in your own entryway!

From the chapter: Find your freedom to createFrom the chapter: Satisfy your creative soulFrom the chapter: True rest that is refreshingFrom the chapter: Peace without peace of mind

If you love to create but struggle to, then this book is for you. This book will give you time for meaningful creativity that restores your soul. Buy your copy here.

Recently a friend shared with me how she felt bad over spending money on her home, she wasn’t sure whether considering how to make her home look pretty was an important use of her time. I sometimes feel that too, it feels selfish spending money on home decor when there are plenty of causes and charities where those funds could be spent. I get it, especially when those funds are limited and there are many needs out there. I call this home guilt.

It feels like a luxury to take the time to consider how furniture works in a room, you think it’s just a ‘first world problem’ when your sofa doesn’t match your decor. You feel like you spend too much time looking at items for the home and considering whether that tone of blue on a website matches the tone of blue in your cushions.

That is why I champion DIY and cheaper ways to get the look you want in your home, so that you can spend some of your money elsewhere. It’s why I love to charity shop and up-cycle and it’s why I will always champion the small artisan or the developing economies.

But it’s ok to want to have a home, a home that you enjoy being in and reflects your taste and style, and dare I say it – you spend money on, you know why? Because it doesn’t have to be about you. When you approach your home styling or design, if you make it about serving others, it becomes part of your purpose, your calling, your ministry. It might be your taste and style but it’s about making the space serve your family, your guests.

It’s up to you to set your budget, making sure you have the funds to do all the other things you need to do in your life, and give to others, but this is part of your purpose. When you make your space beautiful it is a gift to those who live there, to those you serve time or food to there. If you create a welcoming space where people feel at home, you are serving them. You are honouring them, you are helping them to live their lives, and to relax in your space.

It’s important that we are aware of how environment affects people. It’s good to consider how colours affect people’s moods, how to combine space, colour, placement and texture to make a home just, work, for those that live and visit there.

If you have children, you are creating a home where they are nurtured and grown. You are teaching them that it’s good and healthy to create. Effective home design shows them how organisation, cleanliness and tidiness are important life skills.

Let’s not be made to feel guilty for creating beauty and serving others with the gifts we’ve been given. Let’s celebrate what is good and do good: let’s work out a way that we can serve others and most especially those that don’t have homes, with the ones that we have. This is our community, it is what we make it.