New York City police say they foundRahmell Pettway, 36, apparently dumped between two parked cars in Brooklyn. He was bound with duct tape, looked beat up and complained of pain in his ribs. He was transported to a hospital where at first he claimed he was unable to recall what had happened. He later claimed that two men in a minivan had kidnapped him and kept him tied up for two weeks before dumping him. Police were suspicious of his tale, though, because when Pettway was found, he still had a roll of duct tape dangling from his wrists. Pettway eventually recanted his kidnapping story and confessed it was all a scheme to escape the wrath of his girlfriend, whom he’d for unexplained reasons failed to call for the past couple weeks.

Ten police officers had been tasked with canvassing and patrolling the area in response to Pettway’s claims, the Post reported. When the truth came out, Pettway was arrested and charged with filing a false police report.

“He’s a total moron,” a source in law enforcement told the Post. “It was a pathetic attempt to pull the wool [over] her eyes.” A neighbor who spoke to the paper scoffed at the ruse. “Just be a man and face the consequence.”