At luch today we were watching the discovery channel where they show how popsicles and cake pans and stuff are made with these giant robot machines. It is fun to eat lunch together and watch this show. We started talking about strange jobs we have had, and I listed a few.

Day camp counsellor: hands down the most exhausting job I have ever had. I would crash asleep on my bed as soon as I got home and dream of little kiddies grabbing at me in the swimming pool.

Ice cream shop: Pervy old guy I'll call Arturo who made me recylce espresso grounds (to be used again mixed with real expresso for disgusting watery capuccinos). He asked me to wear my school uniform to work and patted me on the bum. I told my mom about that and she said wearily: "I guess that's life, honey!"

Babysitting ostriches: I was on a kibbutz and all I had to do was sit in a field from dawn to lunch on a lawnchair (I was reading bruce chatwin) and make sure the baby ostriches didn't get into pecking wars or get stolen.

Writing restaurant reviews for restaurants I have never been to in New York: I created composites from the NYTimes and Zagat's. The guy who had employed me to write his resto guide was very bad about paying me my tiny income on time. But as a result I know a lot about NY restaurants, and can casually say: "Oh yes, that chef used to work at Union Square before starting his own bistro that is getting great reviews all around for its robust flavours and intimate atmosphere."