How To Be A Better Lover In 20 Minutes Or Less

As a newlywed, I’m always open to advice from women who have been married longer than me. Making sure my husband is happy is a priority, and I know that my happiness is important to him as well. The two of us were absolutely made for each other, and being with him is (without telling too much of our business…) out of this world. 🙂 I want things to stay that way, so I asked some of my friends (married and not) to share some tips on being a better lover. Now, I say in 20 minutes or less because we have a child, we both work, and the Rileys be tired! I don’t want to limit our intimate moments to the days and nights that we have a lot of down time, though. Thankfully, my girls had my back and gave some good advice.

Be Open To New Things

Be open to try new things and don’t be afraid to start if you are not in the mood when your partner is because his efforts may change your mood and your mind. Exaggerate your mood and desire for him throughout the day. Even if he knows you are not that desperate for him it will make him feel manly that you put out the effort to stroke his ego and fuel his imagination. – Janeane from Janeane’s World (married 24 years!)

Send Text Messages

Sending him text messages of what you want to do to him when he gets home … the art of sexting. It also is another form of foreplay which cuts down your getting in the mood time and helps out if there are kids and you only have 20 minutes. – Arelis from My Pocketful of Thoughts

Give Him What He Wants

Men want a freak in the bedroom! Don’t be timid, that’s YOUR man, show him how much you adore him. Whatever happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom, nothing (well, almost nothing) is off limits. Give him what he wants, and vice versa. There are a lot of thirsty females out there, who’ll do anything to get a man- and they don’t care if that man is already taken… If you get my drift. Also, read up on sexual topics. There’s all kinds of interesting reading material out there, full of exciting new things to try. And leave the lights on! – Mommy Powers (also married 24 years!)

Leave unexpected hints around. A fun text with a photo of your bare legs or a butt grab as you walk by. By the time he gets you alone when the kids are down it’s bow chicka boww time! Also, I asked hubby his thoughts. He said it all starts in the mind. Create the ideal environment/ambiance. Dropping clues/messages/intentions whether by text or secret whispers. But the mental is key! – Mama Harris from Mama Harris’ Kitchen

Just Smile

It may sound simplistic, but how about smiling? I mean,be genuinely thrilled to see him when he walks through the door or when he approaches you for the freaky stuff. Smiling can convey that his advances are welcomed AND desired. – SML

Connect Through Technology

Google Hangout each other. We live in a world of social media. You don’t have to just use the phone anymore. Dial him up at work, have him close that office door, and have fun. – Natasha from Houseful of Nicholes

Slow Dance

There is nothing more sensual than slow dancing, but don’t limit it to the dance floor. Close the door and put on your favorite love song. Once your arms are wrapped around each other and your bodies intertwined, let the rhythm of your heartbeats lead your feet right into the bedroom. – Thien-Kim from I’m Not The Nanny and Momtastic

Talk To Him

Let him know he is holding it down at home, and you appreciate his efforts and his hard work. Show him that you are attracted to him, and that you think he is sexy. It’s a great way to start and finish. Aida from Girlfriends With Goals

Always be available. ..if you’re tired, take a quick shower and put on his favorite perfume…it will give you quick energy. And kegals, keep it tight after child birth. Also, make your lounge gear sexy. I wear leggings with a short shirt or cheerleading shorts around the house. Gotta keep him happy at home!

You know I’m pinning this on my when I’m married board. I keep being told that once we get married there won’t be much sex and once we have kids it becomes nonexistent. That makes me sad. Please tell me that’s a lie!

It is a lie if you make it a lie. I have friends who are like that because they don’t make it a priority. It must be a priority in your marriage to have a happy life (in my opinion). I have been married 16 years and we still are very…um….active 😉 We do premarital counseling and encourage couples.

I have a fun one. Come up with a secret sign (I won’t say what ours is cause you might catch it in church some time lol) … Anyway, a secret sign that you do with each other in public to let the other know you want them. For instance a particular type of tap on the shoulder or a gentle arm squeeze… Something no one else would suspect is sexual in meaning. Let your man know that when you do that sign, the bedroom is on your mind and you’re ready for him. It will make him smile every time and build the anticipation for getting home!