1/4 WAVE
Acknowledgement from someone who really isn’t sure if they know
you or not.

APERTURE FEVER
Elevated temperature, cold sweat, palpitations, and blurred vision
that result from seeing, or even hearing of, a telescope larger than
yours. Not normally fatal, but treatment becomes progressively more
expensive and there is no known cure.

APO-GEE
What you say while looking through a really nice refractor.

CELL
Where wayward amateur astronomers wind up.

COUNTER-WEIGHT
The line in the observatory lunchroom.

DECLI-NOTION
Position in the sky where you think an object is located.

DEW
Hair style.

DEW CAP
What you wear to protect your dew.

DEW-ZAPPER
Cure for a bad hair style.

EQUIPMENTITIS
A highly contagious, common malady among amateur astronomers. The
primary symptom is an insatiable desire to GET MORE STUFF. Rarely
fatal, except to the wallet.

EYE-PIECES
All that’s left after your Naglers fall on the driveway.

FINDER
What you have to do if your girlfriend or wife (or both!) runs away.

FOCUSSING
Bad words you say when you can’t get a sharp image.

LEFT ASCENSION
Part of the celestial coordinate system used by sinister amateur
astronomers.

NADIR
Someone who doesn’t like Corvairs.

NEW-TONIAN
Your most recent telescope.

OBLATE SPHERABOLIPSE
The actual shape of any mirror you try to grind and figure yourself.

SECONDARY
What everything else becomes when you’re thinking about your next
astro-purchase.

SPIDER
A small, multi-legged creature that takes up residence in your
telescope tube.