humor

Do you even know what a logophile is? No you don’t. It’s not someone who loves logos. Or legos. And, it’s not creepy. I promise. A logophile is a lover of words according to Merriam-Webster. Admittedly, it’s a bit nerdy. I blame my grandparents for this problem. They both were English majors and educators.

My grandmother was incessant about correcting grammar. She was so to blame. We, my siblings and I, were her grandbabes, her cherubs. Instead of cossetting us, she chided every other word out of our mouths. Alas, we are indebted to her revisal. As a result, my siblings and I can promulgate our vocab attainment with little effort. Our pretentiousness is irksome, but charming. Don’t you think?

I also blame my grandfather. He had a dictionary that was over 18″ in girth. As tender progeny, each of us took turns sitting a top said dictionary in an effort to reach the table during meals. Osmosis must have occurred, albeit via our posteriors, enhancing our adulation of words. I admit that I was disconsolate upon my dethroning when my younger sisters began using the makeshift cathedra. Frankly, I thought it rude that I had to relinquish my dictionary-seat just because I gained altitude when my sisters had not. It did not seem equitable.

Over the years, I culled a list of cherished words to share with you. I welcome you to seek happenstance to utilize at least one of these words in your daily vocabulary. Once the word falls from your lips, watch as the bewilderment passes over your companion’s face. They’ll be so enamored that they’ll never play Scrabble with you again. They’ll also discern that you’re above-average intelligence and will want to flock to you in hopes that your smarts will drip onto them.

Like this:

For whatever reason, the word “ditty” fell out of my lips today when talking with the kids. I immediately started singing “Jack & Diane”.

You should have seen the look they gave me. Crickets were chirping.

Seriously though. I have LOVED Jack & Diane ever since my ears first heard it. Who doesn’t love that song?! I’m going to start saying “ditty” whenever I can fit it in conversation. Then the person to whom I speaking will start singing “about Jack & Diane. Two ‘merican kids, tryin’ to do the best they can.” Then I’ll smile and my friend will smile and then we’ll have a moment and be even better friends. Then my friend and I will be happy and will smile at strangers who will then be happy and smile at more strangers and then the whole world would end up smiling.

My firm moved to a new location a year ago. The Southern Adventuress is the other paralegal in the office. She has an amazing knack for interior design. Naturally, she was in charge of decorating the new office. I think she did pretty well. In fact, she’s so good at it, she blogs about it. You can find the Southern Adventuress and examples of her work at http://southernadventuress.com.

My favorite thing she did for the firm was to refurbish a pair of chairs for my office. I LOVE THEM! She covered the chairs with muslin fabric, then painted a green undercoat, next an orange top coat and finally sanded them so specks of the green peeked through. These colors were chosen to match a pair of paintings that Mini-Me and I did at Wine & Design. Colorful chairs and nice paintings to boot! My office is so pretty.

Well, bless her heart, one of Southern Adventuress’ final touches was to fill the bookshelf in the reception area. Bossman and I blankly stared at the bookshelf when she announced that her work was done. I awkwardly state, “Um, that’s nice?” Bossman lacks the filter I do and flat out asks, “how is anyone going to know what books are in there?” Southern Adventuress responds that she read a design magazine that said it’s more pleasing to the eye to have books all the same color. One could turn the books inward to hide the multi-color spines and avoid distraction. To this day, the bookshelves remain as-is, even though Southern Adventuress is on maternity leave for over a month. I didn’t get it then and am still not convinced it works for our bookshelf. So sorry Southern Adventuress. I still love you.

So, when Blog University posted the first pic above, all I could think was of interior design. My next thought was how could Barnes & Noble sell any books if they put design above function? That’s when I got the joke.

I hope to get a lot more jokes and learn how to be a better blogger when I #getschooled at #BlogU14. I guess you can come too if you really want. I’m sure it’s going to be super boring and there won’t be anything fun to do. I’m sure of it. So don’t go to their website and sign up for the conference. NO! DON’T DO IT!

Why don’t you ever listen? You’re just like my kids.

Post Script:
Since the Southern Adventuress informed Bossman and me of our lack of interior design knowledge, I did find several helpful articles that discuss the pros and cons of uniformity in design. Here are the links: