~ a little chit chat just like on my diary

Dream Journal: Run!

Eh?? That’s how u address him? Using his name without any weird nickname?

Yeah. Why?

Why? What is so weird with that? Why should I force myself using a weird nickname when it twists my tongue? Wait. Not that. How in the world you know that name? How did you know him? I never tell others about him! What is happening?

Talk about the devil, oh look! he is here!

WHAT? WHY? This is MY senior high school, how come he’s here??? Too afraid to make sure, I decided to just hide myself among the crowd. I realize that he was searching for me while others tried to stop him since he look so funny with his new hair cut. I can’t process what is happening yet, so I decided to run. RUN! HIDE!

—

Ah, I remember that room. It’s a room that is supposed to be my classroom. Eh? “Supposed”? Something feels weird.. Forget it! Let just hide there in the meantime.

I run like a madman to that empty classroom and was scared when I realize another person is already there. He is my classmate, and now is looking at me with a questioning eyes.

Sssh!

Huh? What the hell?

Just pretend that I’m not here! I’m invincible, got it?

No. What..

Meatball, one big portion, all yours!

Deal!

This kind classmate who just rip me off finally act like I’m not there. I thought the trouble is over, but I am wrong. There is this guy – he doesn’t exist in real life – that I just can’t deal with. He reads my mind, he reads my personality, he knows what I hide and somehow he can always guess how I’ll react. A very terrifying person in my life. I do not know how such a person exist in my life since I am a girl with a lot of secret and troubles who think in a complicated way.

This very very terrifying guy, suddenly near the place that I hide. I can almost see the sinister smile on his face. I hide myself behind the door, but he just show up there and look at me with a cute face. THAT DEVIL!

There you are! *bright face*

Dammit! Of all people, why does it have to be you?!!

(moving closer and sit right in front of me) Because I love you?

Cut it out! It’s fun right? Right? Urgh, I hate you!

I know, why are you hiding anyway?

I am not!

Yeah, right. He’s looking for you.

Don’t tell me..

No, no. I’m on your side. Relax!

He is suspicious, so very suspicious. But without knowing what he’s scheming, the scene suddenly changes. I am in the same place, but the class is suddenly crowded. The worst part is, he is there! I don’t know what was on my mind but I just grab the only string I could see, a string that powerful enough to stop him from coming any closer. I, ah.. I don’t even want to say it. I.. ergh.. I grab the hand of that devil and I swear I can see a huge grin in his face. Wipe it off! You are having fun, aren’t you! Devil!

—

Where am I? Who am I? What am I doing? AND JUST WHY IS THAT DEVIL’S HAND CIRCLING MY WAIST LIKE IT’S THE MOST NATURAL THINGS TO DO?? I looked at this devil quite angrily and tried to break free from his arm. But god, how can his arm be so strong? Seeing me struggling he whisper in my ears, come now, weren’t you trying to push him away? I am just playing along.. Then he chuckle and pinch my cheek. Oh I don’t care anymore. So I just take his offer and play along pretending that we are finally a lover.

I thought this would stop him, but I was wrong. When I am finally free from the crowd, he grab my hands and pulls me away. He question me this and that until that kind devil rescue me (again). I can see the feeling of betrayal pictured vividly in his eyes. Figures, he despises me. I want this, but why am I in pain?

—

Ah, I knew it. Why did you do that if you are going to be like this?

Like what..?

(pinch my cheek) That hurting look, on the verge of tears. It’s not cute at all, ya know?

…

There, there.. (pat my head)

…and I am crying. That’s right, why am I running away from what my heart want the most? And why, like always, I end up crying in front of this devil? This is so messed up..

—

It’s bright. It’s my room. Hell! I was dreaming! I am still sleepy but I chose to not sleep anymore, afraid that the dream might continue..