President Xi Writes to Trump

July 8, 2018

Dear President Trump,

We will often be communicating about a variety of serious matters. You believe we’re expanding our economic and military reach to benefit ourselves and diminish you, and you’re correct. We think you’re trying to limit our aforementioned plans, and we also are correct. Rather than burden you with a long list of complaints, I will today simply write to you about Iran.

You chose to violate the Iran nuclear deal signed by that country as well as the United States, China, Japan, Russia, the United Kingdom, Germany, and France. Not only that, you have initiated a series of arrogant and heavy-handed sanctions designed to make the Iranian people suffer prior to their overthrowing a government you don’t like because it overthrew the authoritarian Shah who was installed and supported by the United States for almost thirty years.

I’m going to state this very clearly: China and Iran are friendly countries and will “maintain normal exchange and cooperation conforming to our obligations under international law, economy, trade, and energy. This is beyond reproach.” I don’t care that you want every nation currently buying Iranian oil to cease doing so. Surely, you don’t believe we’re going to salute you and thereby forfeit the six hundred fifty thousand barrels of oil we daily purchase from Iran. Crunch the numbers. That’s two hundred thirty-seven million barrels a year that we’re going to continue to buy. In fact, President Rouhani is my special guest here in Qingdao, for the annual meeting of the Shanghai Cooperation Organization, and he and I have agreed to expand our economic cooperation. It is in our national interest to do so.

You have started a trade war with China, in particular, and also appear determined to wage economic battles with Europe, Mexico, Canada, and, of course, Iran and North Korea. I concede you may have some justified concerns about Chinese piracy of American intellectual property, and I expect you to understand we will not long tolerate the imperial aggression of your navy in international waters too close to our shores.

I know, I promised to limit myself to Iran. I suppose bullying the whole world is an essential part of being a superpower. There are two of us now, and I’m betting on the one that will build a high-speed train in Africa before the other even builds a modern train at home.