Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is charged with paying for sex with an underage stripper, and that's just about the least interesting aspect of his trial. Consider: stripper nuns (one of whom is now a politician, of course.) But there's a sports angle here, and it's gross.

Berlusconi still owns AC Milan, which owned Brazilian forward Ronaldinho for three years. At one of his "Bunga Bunga" parties, one woman testified she saw "a young Brazilian model 'with an AC Milan jersey and a Ronaldinho mask, who stripped down to her thong.'" Here's what a rubber Ronaldinho mask looks like, so try to masturbate to that for a bit and report back on how it went.