I am fairly new to the DotCommune, although I used to post & even introduced myself way back before they changed. I love this forum about older kids cause it seems like I and the whole world understand babies, toddlers even preschoolers now, but not kids. I felt much more confident in what I could expect from my ds when he was younger but now I feel like I am constantly expecting too much or too little from him.
I feel like he is perfect. A little wild and selfish like the nephew in the other thread, but just lovely.
His teachers say he is immature, they say this is normal since he is the older sibling. How do you measure maturity in a child?
His teachers want him to sit still and pay attention. But I feel like way too much of his life is and will be directed in that way, so why should he? Why do I let it bother me so? Why can't I be his defender, his ally, his advocate and not slide like a jellyfish right into the people pleasing roll of trying to get him to act like they want him to act.
Yes. It would be lovely for me if he did everything I commanded as I commanded it. But I really don't want a kid like that--another one in the world!
Okay, so the point of this thread is that I understood that my 2 year old could not be expected to sit politely during a meal in a restaurant, I was patient and accomodating. But what about now? Ds is 6.5 and what should I expect? In any situation?
I really enjoyed the independence thread since I believe he should be allowed to go to the park across the street alone--not a busy street, and great visibility. But then I get so scared that he will just wander off! What if.......????
Thank you so much for reading! :

Coincidentally, I just got Carla Hannaford's book _Smart Moves_ out of the library. She talks ALOT about brain development and paying attention. Some kids (and adults) pay attention best by wiggling around, some need to close their eyes so they can concentrate aurally on the new info...there are all sorts of ways to pay attention that don't mesh with the standard "sit down, shut up, look at me" that schools often expouse. This is a great book! Lots of neurobiology in the front -- skim through it to get to the "good" stuff.

Another book that someone mentioned in another thread is Gesell Institute's _Your Six Year Old_, which talks about typical development (there is a certain amount of cultural weirdness -- it was written years ago by non-AP folks). This may help give you insight, also.

I empathize with you in feeling like you just don't know what to expect at this age. I have an almost 6 yo dd who I feel like I am constantly having to re-evaluate. I feel like I do know the five and under set very well, but not anything over. There's not much prep out there--kindof like,"well, they're school-age; let the schools deal with'em). Well, we homeschool, so I guess that's us!!! My dd hated publis kindergarten because of all the rules (raising your hand, sitting still on your bottom, etc,etc. She said the way she was treated made her feel like a baby.