Dr. Seuss Is Teaching Toddlers Leftist Propaganda

For over a year now, my toddler has been obsessed with Dr. Seuss books. It started with Hop on Pop and now he has a compilation book that's almost bigger than he is that goes to bed with every night. Personally, we were thrilled that he picked these books over, say, "My Little Pony Goes to Ballet School in a Fluffy Sweater." As any parent knows, it's super fun to read Dr. Seuss and can be as entertaining for adults as it is for kids.

What every parent doesn't know, but now we do, is that these clever, rhyming lessons are actually super leftist propaganda. And I, for one, am thrilled to get these words of truth drilled into any kid's head on the early side.

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Thanks to Chris Menning at BuzzFeed, we can all finally admit what Mr. Geisel was trying to do to kids all over the world: indoctrinate. Sure, we all knew The Lorax was a green tale of how men destroy their environment to their own detriment hidden behind an adorable mustachioed creature. But the Hitler thing via Yertle the Turtle will make you read this story in an entirely different light. And if we all just stop for a minute, we know deep within our hearts that The Sneetches were totally a group of racist bastards.

Which is why, when choosing children's literature, it's always a fantastic idea to avoid the "based on the popular Nick Jr. show" paperbacks in lieu of an actual children's author. You'll find deeper meaning and less requests for your child to yell, "Behind the tree!" along with the book. It will also be more entertaining for you, the critical thinking adult, to get to the hidden meaning of children's books. Like, say, the "wild rumpus" of Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are. You always knew it was about sex, didn't you?