My Notes: The Power Playbook by La La Anthony

Power
is like being a lady . . . If you have to tell people you are, you
aren’t. —Margaret Thatcher

Character is a power. —Booker T.
Washington

I
saw firsthand the power of building my credibility.

I
learned that with power comes responsibility

The
other side of that was I never knew who was being nice to me because
they wanted something.

Power
must be put in perspective.

People
will try to use you; they will give you things, do things for you to
get your attention and favor. So you have to know who you are first,
or else that power can go to your head and you will think it’s all
about you when it’s really only about what you can do for someone
else.

Power
should never be abused.

Just
because you have the power to help someone, you should never use that
power to hurt or control another. If you use your power for anything
other than doing the right thing, it can have bad results. I heard
about people losing their livelihoods and careers and even ending up
in jail over payola, a prevalent abuse of power in music. It wasn’t
worth it.

Embrace
power in moderation.

I
liked the way I felt when I could control my own destiny, when I had
the connections to make the calls and get the meetings I wanted, and
even when I had the power to help others. Power is contagious. The
more you have, oftentimes the more you want. But for me, it was
always about having the power to do things for others and myself. I
wanted to be able to open doors, to make paths smoother and easier
for my friends and family. I liked how that felt and I wanted to be
able to do that on an even larger scale. What I knew for sure was
that I never wanted to be powerless.

Everyone
I know seems to have read The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene. It
is this generation’s version of The Prince by Machiavelli or The
Art of War by Sun Tzu. This book is like a bible in the hip-hop
community because it lays out how to obtain power in this world.

But
for me, the real power starts with control and mastery over
yourself—not anyone else.

Only
through forging your own way do you find both yourself and your
purpose.

You
can use books like The 48 Laws of Power and even my books as
guidelines, but you must figure out the path you need to take to be
successful.

That’s
where I had to start—figuring out what I really wanted and going
through life with purpose instead of just letting things happen
around me.

I
don’t know a single person who doesn’t want power. But many
people have no clue what true power is, how to get it, and what to do
with it when it is obtained.

For
me, it’s simple. Power is putting yourself in a position to
maximize your gifts and your purpose and execute your goals and
plans. Power is something developed from within. It’s not about
trying to control anyone but yourself.

Power
is the strength to face the things you may be afraid to do and then
doing them anyway. Power is no regrets. Power is pushing forward.
Power is making the tough choices in your life, and even if you fall
or fail, having power allows you to get back up and try again.

The Rules of Engagement:

You
have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better
than anyone else. —Albert Einstein

here
are some rules I’ve learned that I believe are the keys to gaining
real power—in life and in business.

Rule
No. 1: Put Yourself First.

Rule
No. 2: Find Your Passion and Your Purpose.

Rule
No. 3: Do the Work!

Rule
No. 4: Know Your Worth.

Rule
No. 5: Be Gracious and Grateful.

To
love me first. It’s not selfish to do that, but rather common
sense.

If
you don’t put yourself first, you cannot build a solid foundation
for your life.

Remember
my motto: No judgment.

It’s
not enough to be talented. There are a lot of talented people in the
world.

Hard
work trumps everything.

Will
Smith, to which I totally relate: “I’ve viewed myself as slightly
above average in talent. And where I excel is ridiculous, sickening
work ethic.”

For
others to know your value, you first have to know your worth.

Only
you know your true value.

Only
you know what you can bring to the table.

Your
worth is deeper than salary,

If
you’re going to be upset, you shouldn’t be on social media.

I
power my life. I don’t give away my power to others to rule my
life.

I
don’t need the validation of other people for me to feel good about
myself or to assess what I have to offer the world.

I
am enough.

Whatever
you need to do, until you arrive at the place where you know in your
heart that you are enough, that you are special, that you have value,
you will not have power.

Punctuality
means everything to me.

People
hire people they like being around.

You
might be the best talent for the job, but if your attitude is wrong,
the person who may be a lesser talent but a greater person will get
the job.

What’s
Your Plan?

He
who fails to plan, plans to fail. —Proverb

Having
a plan or a vision is nothing unless you put power behind it.

The
people you need to make your goals and visions happen aren’t just
going to call you or walk up to you and hand you an opportunity. You
have to go to them.

He
went around the obstacle by creating a new path.

There
are two ways to choose your career path: Follow others’
expectations and examples or follow your own interests, talents,and
passion.

While
the latter can be challenging, the first option almost always ends
badly, like swapping gardening for football when your heart’s not
really in it. The most successful people in the world followed their
own instincts and goals to achieve greatness, even when it was
difficult or everyone told them they were crazy. You have certain
gifts and skills for a reason. Put them to work for you and find your
own power path. Asking some key questions can help you find it.

What
would you do for free?

What
do you do better than other people?

When
you daydream about your future, what does it look like?

How
can you get there?

The
Power of Fear:

Fearlessness
requires attention and receptivity—it takes focus to stand in the
still eye of a tornado and not be swept away by it. —Susan Piver

What
separates people who are successful from people who spend their lives
wishing and hoping something magical will happen but somehow never
does, is fear.

most
of us have fears that are simply in our heads.

Fear
of failure.

That
fear prevents us from taking chances, stops us from believing we can
make the leap to a new career or higher position, and keeps us from
acting with confidence in everything we do, both personally and
professionally.

If
we can conquer just that fear, many of us will see so many great
things happen in our lives.

One
definition of courage is being afraid and doing it anyway. Courage is
the act. Power is the result of that act.

I
was powerless in that moment. But when the moment passed, I learned
something about fear. In that moment I had absolutely no control over
the outcome. I couldn’t prevent that elephant from turning over our
vehicle. I was helpless against his power. So I let go. I let go of
my fears and insecurities and embraced the moment.

How
often in life do we worry ourselves senseless about things over which
we have no control? How often do we allow fear to keep us from
experiencing something in life? How often do we allow our perception
of our own powerlessness, insecurities, and weaknesses get in the way
of learning something or growing?

“Wake
up and throw some cold water on your face and everything will be
okay.”

When
one area isn’t working for you, you must find another power source.

1.
I left a good impression. I was not just remembered, I was missed. I
worked so hard while I was there that it was easy for Mary Catherine
to invite me back.

2.
I left graciously. I was leaving for school, not because I was
unhappy or because I found another job. But even if I had been
leaving for another professional opportunity, I would have gone out
in the same way. As I left, I was very thankful to Chaka Zulu, Mary
Catherine, and all of the people who helped me while I was there. I
let them all know how much I appreciated them. And that served me
well when it was time to come back. (For more on exiting with grace,
see Chapter Four.)

3.
I was humble. I didn’t expect to just be hired back. I didn’t
approach it with a sense of entitlement. I believe having a humble
attitude goes a long way; it can be one of your greatest sources of
power. For some, power is a matter of strength and overt will. But
real power is often found in the little things—in your attitude and
how you carry yourself. I was humble and hungry at the same time.

Power
is the result of courage.

Every
power player needs an accomplice, a mentor, a supporter, someone in
his or her corner.

I
was alone and insecure. But in that moment, I was my most powerful.
You have the greatest potential for success when you’re able to
overcome your fears and push through.

When
I think back, most of my successes have come on the heels of being
afraid to do something and then talking myself into doing it anyway.

The
relationship between fear and power in most of our lives is very
close.

Most
of us quit or don’t try because of our fears.

One
of the biggest fears most people have is public speaking.

Tips
for Overcoming a Fear of Public Speaking

Know
your stuff.

Rehearse.

Look
fierce.

Find
a friendly face.

Speak
up.

Be
yourself.

The
Power of Gratitude:

Gratitude
unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and
more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to
clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a
stranger into a friend. —Melody Beattie

But
I kept talking to myself to calm down.

I
was so grateful for the opportunity that I couldn’t help but show
it to everyone. And in return, I was rewarded with more
opportunities.

Try
these simple ways to express gratitude:

Write
a note.

Create
a kind culture.

Give
thoughtful gifts.

Say
hello.

How
you leave a situation—an interview or even a job—is important.
When leaving a job—even if you’re fired—it’s important that
you leave with grace.

Power
is the ability to maximize your opportunities, not diminish them.

Remember,
your exit is as important as your entrance. This goes for jobs,
personal relationships, and even professional relationships.

Saying
“please” and “thank you” may seem like lost sentiments these
days. But they are part of the vocabulary of every powerful person I
know. Take nothing for granted and let people know you appreciate the
things they do for you, no matter how small.

A
kind word can change your life.

“Me
getting upset will just ruin my day,”

Kill
Them with Kindness That’s a major power move. It disarms
people—especially people who are being nasty.

But
there is a difference between being liked and having power. Being a
people pleaser and a doormat is being powerless. Don’t let your
kindness be a weakness. Use your kindness and gratitude as a tool to
get ahead. Understand the power in being nice and gracious, without
giving away your power by allowing people to use you.

Be
thankful, not indebted.

Don’t
become a gratitude-a-holic.

Turn
negativity into gratitude.

The
Power of Persistence:

Nothing
in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not;
nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will
not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the
world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination
alone are omnipotent. —Calvin Coolidge

I
know people think if they tell you what they want, you may not call
them back. Well, if you don’t tell them what you want, they
probably won’t call back and they’ll be annoyed with you.

There
is a thin line between pest and persistence.

If
you’re going to be persistent, you will probably get the
opportunity you’re looking for.

Opportunities
can become successes only when we take the initiative to go for it.

Persistence
is also about how you process the word “no.” You need to develop
the wisdom to understand when to accept a “no.” Sometimes a “no”
really means “not yet.” Or that “no” could be the very thing
you need to go in another direction that’s even better for you.
I’ve been in a lot of situations where I’ve been told no, and by
accepting the “no” I was freed up for other projects that were a
better fit for me in the end.

You
need to call or e-mail them until you get an answer!

We
often don’t see people in power as people.

The
Power of Failing:

Failing
can be powerful.

“Failure
is success if we learn from it.”

Some
people just do give up.

1.
It teaches you about yourself.

2.
It shows you what doesn’t work.

3.
It makes you stronger.

4.
It gives you understanding and empathy.

5.
It makes you better.

Everyone
Needs a Good Coach

A
good coach also fosters trust.

When
you have success that’s the best time to leverage your power.

1.
Set clear goals.

2.
Search outside the box.

3.
Be confident.

4.
Have an open mind.

5.
Make it a two-way street.

Luck
has nothing to do with it, because I have spent many, many hours,
countless hours, on the court working for my one moment in time, not
knowing when it would come. —Serena Williams

I
don’t want to do anything and everything. I want to be a brand
that, every time I leverage my name, I want people to feel sure that
it’s going to be something good—so whether it be my movies, my
perfume, my restaurant, my musical, it’ll be good work, good food,
and good everything. —Shilpa Shetty

According
to a recent survey, seventy percent of human resources workers
admitted to checking the social media activity of a potential hire
and rejecting them based on their “Internet behavior.”

Being
a brand means thinking about how you want to be perceived and how you
want to be treated.

Everything
I do I have to think, “Does this fit with my brand?”

You
have to see yourself as a brand, no matter what field you’re in.

I
operate from a mentality that everyone is paying attention to
everything I’m saying and doing at all times.

Power
players are never satisfied. They are always hatching plans to get to
the next level. They are also very conscious about shaping and
building their brand to get where they ultimately want to go.

Power
players understand the power of their brand.

The
Crossover: Learn to Reinvent Yourself

To
change the perception, I had to first change how people saw me.

I
know a lot of people who let their past dictate their future options.

You
will have to work to show them that you’re no longer that person.
That’s your job to do.

People
put people in boxes. You have to know what boxes people have you in
in order to break out of them.

If
you want to reinvent yourself, here’s what you can do:

See
yourself the way you want to be perceived. What’s your ultimate
vision for who it is you want to be?

Have
a plan. You have to know how to reach that place.

What
steps must you take to become the person you want people to see? Will
you need special training? What will you need to eliminate or add to
your character to reach your goal?

Reinforce
that vision for yourself. Write down the things you want to change or
become and leave notes for yourself in places where you are forced
daily to see them. I believe in visual aids and even repeating
phrases to yourself like, “I will master my craft.”

Surround
yourself with people who honor your new self. You don’t want people
dragging you down or reminding you of or feeding that negative
rendition of yourself. Avoid those people like the plague.

Don’t
quit. You may not always live up to this new vision you have for
yourself. But don’t quit. Consistency is the key. This will be a
life change. Be patient with yourself and don’t give up.

They
say, fake it until you make it. That is part of reinventing yourself.

If
you want to be a CEO, starting looking, acting, and sounding like a
CEO.

It
is so powerful to be able to change your life and change your future.

Whatever
the number, it’s clear that it’s never really about the money,
but rather it’s about the freedom or ability to do what you want
because you have that money. It’s about achieving the success you
set out to achieve. It’s about power. Personal power to control
your own destiny, your own path, your own vision for your life.

I
know people who are trying to break into certain fields, yet they are
unwilling to intern or volunteer. They don’t realize the power of
making connections with people who can help them reach their goals or
learn valuable skills or gain valuable information.

One
of the rules I live by today is to never borrow money, no matter
what. Borrowing money can put you in a very awkward situation and if
you can’t pay it back, it can change the dynamics of your
relationship. Even if you do pay back the debt, there will always be
this unequal balance in the relationship. There is the possibility
that the person who lent it could hold it over your head forever.

I
try to avoid lending money at all costs.

The
Power of Elimination: People, Thoughts, Things

Some
people are like dark clouds: when they disappear, it’s a brighter
day. Know when it’s time to let go. Removing negative people from
your life doesn’t mean you hate them—it just means that you love
yourself more. —Anonymous

You
can’t be friends with someone who wants your life. —Oprah Winfrey

Family
could be the worst people in your life. You look to them for
approval, understanding, and support. But some family could be your
worse enemies.

My
advice: Be content with you and your life. Embrace where you are and
what you’re doing. And strive to find your own place. If you focus
on what you’re doing and on being content with where you are in
your life, there is no room for jealousy.

I
used to want everyone to like me. I would do just about anything to
get people to like me. As I’ve gotten older, I realize the
importance of having people in my life who support me, who are
positive and who empower me. I’ve also realized the power in
pruning, letting go of dead weight, not having people around just to
have them around.

“Detox
your life. Today is a new day, new beginning. Start now.”

They
say people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
Power players know the difference and they don’t try to keep a
seasonal person around for a lifetime.

Letting
go of people is a major power play. And while it may be hard
initially, in the long run it will strengthen you. In addition to
people, letting go of negative and unproductive thoughts is probably
the most powerful thing you can do.

I
have learned that thoughts are powerful.

Finally,
declutter your life. Get rid of the excess baggage—emotions and
thoughts that aren’t helping you. Get rid of the excess
people—folks that you just have around because they’ve always
been there. Get rid of the excess things—papers and files that are
cluttering your work space. Clutter weighs you down and prevents you
from fully moving to your next destination.

The
Assist: Be a Mentor

It
is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping
others to succeed. —Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich

The
saying goes, “Success has many fathers, but failure is an orphan,”

Become
a Power Mentor:

Mentoring
other people has some great payoffs: You give back to others. You
learn new things from your protégé. And it feels great. But being a
great mentor doesn’t mean simply giving orders and telling the
person you’re mentoring what to do. It’s actually a combination
of listening, offering advice, and letting the person you’re
mentoring figure out the best course of action on his or her
own—including making some mistakes along the way. Follow these six
steps to become a power mentor:

1.
Share your own experiences—especially mistakes.

2.
Set the ground rules.

3.
Explore options.

4.
Make introductions.

5.
Encourage giving back.

6.
Know when to let go.

Be a Power Source:

1.
Listen.

2.
Emphasize others’ strengths.

3.
Deal with situations honestly.

4.
Help them see the positive.

5.
Avoid gossip.

6.
Encourage action.

My
Starting Five: Lessons Learned from These Power Players

Alone
we can do so little; together we can do so much. —Helen Keller

Power
says you’re prepared to do it alone if you have to. Power doesn’t
depend on having someone else to rescue you.

You
can’t have a winning team without a solid starting five.

The
Power Within:

I
definitely relate to looking inside yourself for your power.

It
doesn’t matter how poor you were, if you had a bad education, if
you didn’t feel loved. Whatever the case, you may have been dealt a
bad hand, but how you play it is up to you. If you feel as though you
don’t have enough knowledge, start reading.

I
know people in real life who are rich and successful who are
miserable. They are pursuing external, material, and superficial
things and not working or building themselves or what’s inside.

The
biggest power play in the world is understanding your own power and
then unleashing it to reach your goals and follow your dreams.