#SOCIAL NOBODY SERIESA five-year-old boy who enjoys wearing nail polish “feels like a superhero” after he received support from people around the world.

Aaron Gouveia, the child’s father attracted praise after paining his nails to encourage his son Sam. The Massachusetts-based father-of-three said this “made all the difference in the world to Sam and helped convince him to keep his nail polish on.”

Sam was taunted by fellow students, after wearing a new shade of red glitter nail polish.For Gouveia, this was a mixed blessing.

“Obviously I was relieved by the fact that he stayed true to himself but, as a parent, you’re always worried about your kids being picked on,” he said.

“But in the end, he had a great next day of school and no one made fun of him, the school rallied around him, and he feels like a superhero with all this attention.”

The dad, who works as a director at a Boston PR firm, admitted he was “glad he’s got two brothers who will knock him down a few pegs if his head gets too big!”

But he added that he was “very proud” of Sam, and also of his “10-year-old, Will, who went into his fifth-grade classroom with painted nails in solidarity with his brother.

“That’s not easy at that age but he did it and he didn’t care if he took crap for it because he was behind his brother 100 percent.”​Gouveia explained that he decided to chronicle Sam’s experience on Twitter—even though, as he said at the time, “my rage meter is spiking”—to try and make a difference in how gender was viewed.

#SOCIAL NOBODY SERIES Bravo to New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees, who delivered an anti-bullying message that aired on the "Ellen" show this week. Brees is speaking out after a rash of suicides among gay teens, many the victims of bullies (of course, not all victims of bullies are gay but LGBT teens are a very at-risk group). See video below.
The text of Brees' message:

“If you think that making fun of someone is harmless, you’re wrong. If you think it’s OK to do because everyone else is doing it, you’re wrong. Bully has to stop, and it has to start with you.
​
I want my fans to know that if you’re making fun of someone because they’re different then you are no friend of mine. And if you are being bullied and you feel like one supports you, I want you to know that there is support. I support you. Making fun of someone because they’re different from you? That’s not being tough, it’s being ignorant. Appreciate people for how they are different from you: That’s what it takes to be a friend.”

#SOCIAL NOBODY SERIES Roughly, every second person has experienced bullying at some point in their life, and over 83% of young people admit that these events affected their self-esteem. College time is not an exception. Like any violence, bullying leaves scars, be they physical, emotional, or both. This problem is very difficult to deal with, especially when you are a victim.However, ‘difficult’ doesn’t mean ‘impossible’, so you can break out of this situation if you take appropriate action.

Understand Bullying and What Drives ItOne can say that humans are violent creatures by nature or that they learn to be this way from the examples they see in early childhood. There is a violent cycle in our society where bullies are practically ‘made’ by either adopting this behavior from witnessing it at home or reversing to it as a coping mechanism. It’s quite surprising, but many of the current bullies have been victimized and started act this way as a way of coping.

As a victim in a bullying situation, you need to understand the reasons that push your abusers because this is necessary for you to see the most important truth.

The truth is that you are NOT the problem. It is NOT your fault.

The majority of victims remain this way simply because they don’t have the courage to speak up and do something about their situation. It usually occurs because one of the basic bullying tactics is to hit one’s self-esteem and make them believe that they are at fault and deserve to be abused.

It isn’t the truth, and the first thing you must do to deal with bullies is to understand that they have no power over you. The second best thing to do is to seek legal advice. Having a legal counsel to protect your rights would be imperative in this case, especially if the bullying has resulted in physical injuries.

Deal with Bullying in College: Tactics for Any SituationAlthough all bullies follow a similar pattern (which is intimidation and humiliation of someone weaker to get an ego boost out of the deal), no two cases are the same. Therefore, you might need to implement different methods depending on the situation.

Ignore the bullyBullies get the enjoyment from the reaction they incur from their victims, and in most cases, they aren’t prepared to elevate the level of violence in their approach. It means that NOT giving a reaction makes you ‘unappealing’ and might be enough to make the abuser go away on their own.

You can augment this tactic by responding in a firm and calm manner. Simply saying ‘Stop’ or ‘Leave me alone’ should suffice. Just don’t get agitated as getting the rise out of you is exactly what the bully wants.Get help from an adultEven when you are an independent and self-sufficient college student, getting help from an adult in a bullying situation is the right thing to do. First of all, this is a very serious matter and your reporting the abuse might help other people who are forced into a similar situation.

Second, adult authority figures (professors, counselors, supervisors, etc.) may have the means to deal with the bully more efficiently. Depending on the circumstances, they may offer advice or take some practical steps, such as expelling the bully or meting out appropriate punishment.

Stand up for yourselfNote that this doesn’t mean answering violence with violence. What you need to do is to show the bully that you aren’t a victim. You can do this by standing tall and proud, showing the abuser that their words don’t matter.

You are an amazing person, and you mustn’t put yourself down. So, just tell the bully that they are wrong about you and walk away back to your friends. If you don’t have any, now would be a great time to join some group that shares your interests and would provide you with support (and watch your back) in case you encounter a bully.

#SOCIAL NOBODY SERIES A safe and supportive school climate can help prevent bullying. Safety starts in the classroom. Students should also feel and be safe everywhere on campus—in the cafeteria, in the library, in the rest rooms, on the bus, and on the playground. Everyone at school can work together to create a climate where bullying is not acceptable.

Make sure students interact safely. Monitor bullying “hot spots” in and around the building. Students may be at higher risk of bullying in settings where there is little or no adult monitoring or supervision, such as bathrooms, playgrounds, and the cafeteria.

Enlist the help of all school staff. All staff can keep an eye out for bullying. They also help set the tone at school. Teachers, bus drivers, cafeteria staff, office staff, librarians, school nurses, and others see and influence students every day. Messages reach kids best when they come from many different adults who talk about and show respect and inclusion. Train school staff to prevent bullying.

Set a tone of respect in the classroom. This means managing student behavior in the classroom well. Well-managed classrooms are the least likely to have bullying.

Manage Classrooms to Prevent BullyingTeachers can consider these ways to promote the respect, positive relations, and order that helps prevent bullying in the classroom:

Create ground rules.

Develop rules with students so they set their own climate of respect and responsibility.

Reward good behavior. Try to affirm good behavior four to five times for every one criticism of bad behavior.

Use one-on-one feedback, and do not publicly reprimand.

Help students correct their behaviors. Help them understand violating the rules results in consequences: “I know you can stop [negative action] and go back to [positive action]. If you choose to continue, then [consequence].”

Classroom MeetingsClassroom meetings provide a forum for students to talk about school-related issues beyond academics. These meetings can help teachers stay informed about what is going on at school and help students feel safe and supported.These meetings work best in classrooms where a culture of respect is already established. Classroom meetings are typically short and held on a regular schedule. They can be held in a student’s main classroom, home room, or advisory period.

Establish ground rules. Kids should feel free to discuss issues without fear. Classroom meetings are not a time to discuss individual conflicts or gossip about others. Reinforce existing classroom rules.

Start the conversation. Focus on specific topics, such as bullying or respectful behaviors. Meetings can identify and address problems affecting the group as a whole. Stories should be broad and lead to solutions that build trust and respect between students. Use open-ended questions or prompts such as:

Share an example of a student who helped someone at school this week.

Without names, share an example of someone who made another student feel bad.

What did students nearby do? What did you do? Did you want to do something different—why or why not?

If you could describe the perfect response to the situation what would it be? How hard or easy would it be to do? Why?

How can adults help?

End the meeting with a reminder that it is everyone’s job to make school a positive place to learn. Encourage kids to talk to teachers or other trusted adults if they see bullying or are worried about how someone is being treated.

Follow-up when necessary. Monitor student body language and reactions. If a topic seems to be affecting a student, follow-up with him or her. Know what resources are available to support students affected by bullying.

Source:United States Department of Health and Human Services. stopbullying.gov

#SOCIALNOBODY SERIESNine-year-old Jamel Myles took his own life this past Thursday after being bullied at school. His mother believes that he was bullied for being gay.

Leia Piece told Fox 21 Denver that she found her son dead at their home, only four days after he started Joe Shoemaker Elementary School, he was a fourth grader.

While on summer break, Jamel came out to his mother while driving. “I thought he was playing. “So I looked back because I was driving and he was all curled up, so scared. And I said, ‘I still love you,’” she stated.

Pierce said her son wanted to dress less masculine. ”Can I be honest with you?’,” she remembered. “And I was like ‘Sure’, and he’s like, ‘I know you buy me boy stuff because I’m a boy, but I’d rather dress like a girl.'”

She also explained that her son was eager to tell his new classmates because he was proud of who he was, however, it appears that his openness had some tragic consequences.

“Four days is all it took at school. I could just imagine what they said to him,” recalled Pierce. “My son told my oldest daughter the kids at school told him to kill himself. I’m just sad he didn’t come to me.”

The Denver Police are currently investigating the death as a suicide, and the Denver Public School district sent out a letter informing parents of extra social workers and crisis teams at all schools.

Pierce wants to spread awareness about bullying and the harm it can do to individuals. “We should have accountability for bullying. I think the child should. Because the child knows it’s wrong. The child wouldn’t want someone to do it to them. I think the parent should be held because obviously the parents are either teaching them to be like that, or they’re treating them like that,” she urged.

Currently, there are 50 states that have some sort of anti-bullying laws. But it has been reported that most of the laws are notoriously difficult to implement at ground level and just as impossible to ensure that all school districts follow through or adhere to the policies.

The National Center for Educational Statistics in 2016 reported that one out of every five students report being bullied, down by 8% since the organization began collecting data in 2005.

Of the students bullied, data reveals that 13% were victims of verbal abuse, 12% were the basis of rumors, 5% felt excluded on a regular basis and 5% endured physical abuse.

The data shows that the most frequent forms of bullying are based on ethnicity, disability, appearance, sexual orientation, gender, and religion.

#SOCIALNOBODY SERIESFor the school, the costs of bullying are countless hours consumed in tackling a problem that is resistant to change, truancies, reduced student retention, low teacher morale, negative perceptions of the school by the wider community and parent hostility. The school campus becomes a place where many kids are marginalized and where no-one feels safe. As students become alienated from school, academic performance declines. Schools are increasingly sued for failing to provide a safe learning environment and are being held liable for the harassment, violence and suicides caused by bullying.Schools are a primary place where bullying can happen. Helping to establish a supportive and safe school climate where all students are accepted and knowing how to respond when bullying happens are key to making sure all students are able to learn and grow. There are many tools on StopBullying.gov specific for teachers, administrators, and other school staff.

Know about your obligations under your state’s anti-bullying law. Learn also about federal laws that require schools to address harassment based on race, color, national origin, sex, and disabilities. Work to establish rules and policies to help let the entire school community know the expectations around bullying and procedures to report and investigate when something happens.

SOCIAL NOBODY SERIES
You won't believe what happens to the bully in this video! This short film tells the story of Angela, an elderly woman who is bullied by a group of teenagers at a bus stop. She crosses paths again with, Carter, one of the bullies. Their confrontation leads to an unexpected outcome.

Of those students who reported being bullied, 13% were made fun of, called names, or insulted; 12% were the subject of rumors; 5% were pushed, shoved, tripped, or spit on; and 5% were excluded from activities on purpose (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2016).

A slightly higher portion of female than of male students report being bullied at school (23% vs. 19%). In contrast, a higher percentage of male than of female students report being physically bullied (6% vs. 4%) and threatened with harm (5% vs. 3%; (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2016).

Bullied students reported that bullying occurred in the following places: the hallway or stairwell at school (42%), inside the classroom (34%), in the cafeteria (22%), outside on school grounds (19%), on the school bus (10%), and in the bathroom or locker room (9%) (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2016).

Students who experience bullying are at increased risk for poor school adjustment, sleep difficulties, anxiety, and depression (Center for Disease Control, 2015).

Students who are both targets of bullying and engage in bullying behavior are at greater risk for both mental health and behavior problems than students who only bully or are only bullied (Center for Disease Control, 2015).

Bullied students indicate that bullying has a negative effect on how they feel about themselves (19%), their relationships with friends and family and on their school work (14%), and physical health (9%) (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2016).

Students who experience bullying are twice as likely as non-bullied peers to experience negative health effects such as headaches and stomachaches (Gini & Pozzoli, 2013).

When assessing specific types of disabilities, prevalence rates differ: 35.3% of students with behavioral and emotional disorders, 33.9% of students with autism, 24.3% of students with intellectual disabilities, 20.8% of students with health impairments, and 19% of students with specific learning disabilities face high levels of bullying victimization (Rose et al., 2012).

Students with specific learning disabilities, autism spectrum disorder, emotional and behavior disorders, other health impairments, and speech or language impairments report greater rates of victimization than their peers without disabilities longitudinally and their victimization remains consistent over time (Rose & Gage, 2017).

Researchers discovered that students with disabilities were more worried about school safety and being injured or harassed by other peers compared to students without a disability (Saylor & Leach, 2009).

When reporting bullying youth in special education were told not to tattle almost twice as often as youth not in special education (Davis & Nixon, 2010).

Statistics about bullying of students who identify or are perceived as LGBTQ

74.1% of LGBT students were verbally bullied (e.g., called names, threatened) in the past year because of their sexual orientation and 55.2% because of their gender expression (National School Climate Survey, 2013).

36.2% of LGBT students were physically bullied (e.g., pushed, shoved) in the past year because of their sexual orientation and 22.7% because of their gender expression (National School Climate Survey, 2013).

30.3% of LGBT students missed at least one entire day at school in the past month because they felt unsafe or uncomfortable, and 10.6% missed four or more days in the past month (National School Climate Survey, 2013).

There are less rates of LGBTQ bullying in schools with clear bullying policies that are inclusive of LGBTQ students (Hatzenbuehler & Keyes, 2012).

Students were less likely to report having experienced homophobic bullying and report more school connectedness in schools with more supportive practices, including (Day & Snapp, 2016):

Adequate counseling and support services for students.

Considering sanctions for student violations of rules and policies on a case-by-case basis with a wide range of options.

Providing effective confidential support and referral services for students needing help because of substance abuse, violence, or other problems.

Helping students with their social, emotional, and behavioral problems, and provide behavior management instruction.

Fostering youth development, resilience, or asset promotion.

Bullying and Suicide

There is a strong association between bullying and suicide-related behaviors, but this relationship is often mediated by other factors, including depression, violent behavior, and substance abuse (Reed, Nugent, & Cooper, 2015).

Students who bully others, are bullied, or witness bullying are more likely to report high levels of suicide-related behavior than students who report no involvement in bullying (Center for Disease Control, 2014).

A meta-analysis found that students facing peer victimization are 2.2 times more likely to have suicide ideation and 2.6 times more likely to attempt suicide than students not facing victimization (Gini & Espelage, 2014).

Students who are both bullied and engage in bullying behavior are the highest risk group for adverse outcomes (Espelage & Holt, 2013).

The false notion that suicide is a natural response to being bullied has the dangerous potential to normalize the response and thus create copycat behavior among youth. (Center for Disease Control, 2014).

Interventions

Bullied youth were most likely to report that actions that accessed support from others made a positive difference (Davis & Nixon, 2010).

Actions aimed at changing the behavior of the bullying youth (fighting, getting back at them, telling them to stop, etc.) were rated as more likely to make things worse (Davis & Nixon, 2010).

Students reported that the most helpful things teachers can do are: listen to the student, check in with them afterwards to see if the bullying stopped, and give the student advice (Davis & Nixon, 2010).

Students reported that the most harmful things teachers can do are: tell the student to solve the problem themselves, tell the student that the bullying wouldn’t happen if they acted differently, ignored what was going on, or tell the student to stop tattling (Davis & Nixon, 2010).

As reported by students who have been bullied, the self-actions that had some of the most negative impacts (telling the person to stop/how I feel, walking away, pretending it doesn’t bother me) are often used by youth and often recommended to youth (Davis & Nixon, 2010).

Bystanders’ beliefs in their social self-efficacy were positively associated with defending behavior and negatively associated with passive behavior from bystanders – i.e. if students believe they can make a difference, they’re more likely to act (Thornberg et al, 2012).

Students who experience bullying report that allying and supportive actions from their peers (such as spending time with the student, talking to him/her, helping him/her get away, or giving advice) were the most helpful actions from bystanders (Davis & Nixon, 2010).

Students who experience bullying are more likely to find peer actions helpful than educator or self-actions (Davis & Nixon, 2010).

The Youth Voice Research Project (2010) found that victimized students reported the following bystander strategies that made things better: spent time with me (54%), talked to me (51%), helped me get away (49%), called me (47%), gave me advice (46%), helped me tell (44%), distracted me (43%), listened to me (41%), told an adult (35%), confronted them (29%), asked them to stop.

SOCIAL NOBODY SERIESLGBTQ Youth​Lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) youth and those perceived as LGBT are at an increased risk of being bullied. There are important and unique considerations for strategies to prevent and address bullying of LGBT youth.Creating a Safe Environment for LGBT YouthIt is important to build a safe environment for all youth, whether they are straight or LGBT. All youth can thrive when they feel supported. Parents, schools, and communities can all play a role in helping LGBT youth feel physically and emotionally safe:

Build strong connections and keep the lines of communication open. Some LGBT youth often feel rejected. It is important for them to know that their families, friends, schools, and communities support them.

Establish a safe environment at school. Schools can send a message that no one should be treated differently because they are, or are perceived to be, LGBT. Sexual orientation and gender identity protection can be added to school policies.

Protect privacy. Be careful not to disclose or discuss issues around being LGBT with parents or anyone else.

Federal Civil Rights Laws and Sexual OrientationFederal civil rights laws do not cover harassment based on sexual orientation. Often, bullying towards LGBT youth targets their non-conformity to gender norms. This may be sexual harassment covered under Title IX. Read more about federal civil rights laws. Many states protect against bullying because of sexual orientation in their state laws.​Additional Resources

SOCIAL NOBODY SERIESChildren and adolescents who lack social problem-solving skills are more at risk of becoming bullies, victims or both than those who don’t have these difficulties, says new research published by the American Psychological Association. But those who are also having academic troubles are even likelier to become bullies.

“This is the first time we’ve overviewed the research to see what individual and environmental characteristics predict the likelihood of becoming a bully, victim or both,” said lead author Clayton R. Cook, PhD, of Louisiana State University. “These groups share certain characteristics, but they also have unique traits. We hope this knowledge will help us better understand the conditions under which bullying occurs and the consequences it may have for individuals and the other people in the same settings. Ultimately, we want to develop better prevention and intervention strategies to stop the cycle before it begins.”

Cook and co-authors from the University of California at Riverside examined 153 studies from the last 30 years. They found that boys bully more than girls, and bullies and victims both have poor social problem-solving skills. More than anything else, poor academic performance predicts those who will bully.

“A typical bully has trouble resolving problems with others and also has trouble academically,” said Cook. “He or she usually has negative attitudes and beliefs about others, feels negatively toward himself/herself, comes from a family environment characterized by conflict and poor parenting, perceives school as negative and is negatively influenced by peers.”

“A typical victim is likely to be aggressive, lack social skills, think negative thoughts, experience difficulties in solving social problems, come from negative family, school and community environments and be noticeably rejected and isolated by peers,” said Cook.

The typical bully-victim (someone who bullies and is bullied) also has negative attitudes and beliefs about himself or herself and others, the study found. He or she has trouble with social interaction, does not have good social problem-solving skills, performs poorly academically and is not only rejected and isolated by peers but is also negatively influenced by the peers with whom he or she interacts, according to the study.

Sample sizes for the studies examined ranged from 44 to 26,430. Ages ranged from 3 to 18 years old. The participants were from the United States and Europe. Researchers used self-, peer, teacher and parent reports to measure the extent of bullying, aggression and victimization; externalizing behavior (defiant, aggressive or disruptive responses); internalizing behaviors (withdrawal, depression, anxious and avoidant responses); social competence; beliefs, feelings and thoughts; academic performance; family and home environment; school environment; community life; peer status and influence.

The authors found that age played a role in how much bullies and victims acted out their aggressions or internalized their feelings. Younger bullies were more defiant, aggressive and disruptive, whereas older bullies were more withdrawn, depressed and anxious. Younger bullies were not as bothered by rejection and being unpopular as were older bullies. And older victims suffered from depression and anxiousness more than younger victims.According to the authors, most programs use strategies to prevent bullying that favor removing the bully from the environment, such as enforced anti-bullying rules and peer-reporting of bullying incidents in schools. The more promising interventions target the behaviors and the environments that are putting these young people at risk of becoming bullies and/or victims.

“Intervene with the parents, peers and schools simultaneously,” said Cook. “Behavioral parent training could be used in the home while building good peer relationship and problem-solving skills could be offered in the schools, along with academic help for those having troubling in this area.”

The American Psychological Association, in Washington, D.C., is the largest scientific and professional organization representing psychology in the United States and is the world's largest association of psychologists. APA's membership includes more than 152,000 researchers, educators, clinicians, consultants and students. Through its divisions in 54 subfields of psychology and affiliations with 60 state, territorial and Canadian provincial associations, APA works to advance psychology as a science, as a profession and as a means of promoting health, education and human welfare.