Monday, 17 April 2017

Easter Monday

Today, for the first time since the farmer died, I am alone all day. Friends have been so good at keeping me occupied and inviting me out for meals but today I face stark reality.

So far it has gone very well - I am concentrating on filling every minute if I can. My cleaner came at 9am and I put on two loads of washing at about the same time. After we had had our coffee she went and I took Tess and drove into town for my newspaper. Then I came back the long way round and we walked up 'our' lane. For once there is very little wind and the sun is out and walking up the lane was a pleasure with the sun on my back. Along the sides of the lane the cowslips and dandelions were out and in the wood the cock pheasants were calling out. I let Tess off the lead and she rarely strayed far from my side.

Now, after lunch (ready meal lasagne with carrots and broccoli) I am about to iron this morning's washing and then sort out some more books for the charity shop.

At the moment I tend to feel tired without actually doing anything to make me tired. I still have to fit in a couple of ukulele practices - only maybe five minutes each time, but 'little and often' tends to make the fingering stick in one's mind more easily. Time will tell.

27 comments:

Glad to hear the day alone was bearable, but know too that we out here are with you. So glad you're blogging each day, you're in my thoughts each day and I hope that things are as ok as they can be.Much love Weaver.

We have a bit of warmth today too after cold windy days. I'm shattered after visitors so apart from a wee bit of gardening and sorting out where to put 2 boxes full of various pictures,paintings,photographs....we have too many and some I don't even like anymore........... the rest of the day will be spent with feet up.Hope your quiet afternoon will be OK, look forward to coffee and cake with friends next week. ( I'm guessing you will be!)Still think of you and very glad you are blogging, do you still have the poetry group?

So glad you are doing so well...I felt for a long time after my husband died that I took a few steps forward and a few back, but slowly moved in a forward direction. It is a lovely time of year. I really like the idea of the ukulele orchestra!

Thinking of you and it seems you have started a new routine of taking Tess with you to get the newspaper. The walks seem to be rather special as well. Oddly enough it stuck in my mind how you followed a fairly rigid schedule for meals and I often used to think at 12:30 you were eating your main meal.

I have a plan... I will book you and whoever you want to bring to Bath for a weekend into a nice hotel, then give you a secret tour - well, more a tour of secrets only known to locals. Something you could look forward to, or something to dread? I mean it Weave. This is the truth: without your presence here in blogland, I would have signed off ages ago. You keep me posting.

One step at a time, and one day at a time. I think it helps to have a routine, even if we break it once in a while. I often feel tired for no apparent reason and quite frequently say to myself 'come on Missus' when a sit-down breather threatens to last too long. I make a list of jobs that I would like to do each day, but sometimes it takes three or four days before I tick them all off my list. They get done in the end. Good luck with the ukulele practice - I hope Tess doesn't join in!

I am so glad you are coping so well. One step at a time is a good way to go. You are looking forward to warmer spring days while we are relishing the cooler days of Autumn over here.I think it is my favourite season, leaving the horrible heat and humidity of summer behind.Thinking of you.

Oh Weave. I'm so glad you are still blogging. I'm tardy at it, as usual, but I do look in every day and love to read your posts. If you fancy a change of scene Derbyshire would love to welcome you for a day or two.A new young quilter in the family picked out one of the few remaining pieces of fabric from the selection you sent, for her first project today. Gillx

I hope that all these messages let you know that you are never really alone. You've been in my thoughts a great deal lately.I'm so glad to see that you're posting regularly and I do hope you keep up with your ukulele practice. Sending much love your way!

I'm cheering you on from far away in Northern California. Yours is a brave spirit to make something positive of each day, even though it will inevitably be mixed with sadness. I was widowed at the age of 36; it was April and the springtime and coming summer meant so much to me, being in the garden both doing and simply observing.

It is good to have company to divert your attention elsewhere, but it is also good to have some time to spend alone. You have been through so much these past few months that it is no wonder that you feel tired.

This is a long and painful journey, filled with many losses, not the least of which is the death of your life partner. Sadly, in our Western world we do not "do" grief well, you will need lots of courage along this road Pat. Try and join a Grief Share Group if you can, it help me live on, and keep my sanity.

I know what you mean about trying to fill each minute. Going back to work on the Monday after my husband's death (he died on a Thursday) helped me enormously, even though I was not very productive for a couple of weeks.Even today, when I am feeling a little low, I find comfort in cleaning, ironing or doing something else around the flat.It is good that you went for this walk. I imagine Tess misses The Farmer, too.

Everyone is so full of good advice, that it leaves me wanting what to write. Bet the 'shock' news of another election this morning wasn't in your paper? Enjoy your walks with Tess, I talk a lot to Lucy on our walks but she never answers back, she just looks expectantly for another biscuit out of my pocket. X

Little and often is definitely the way as far as music is concerned. 10 minutes practise every day is better than an hour the day before your lesson. I play the flute Weaver. Hope the next lesson is good. x

Hello, Pat, I have been absent from blogger for some weeks now but you have been on my mind. I did wonder if your husband was still with you as the last post I read said how poorly he was. I know there are no words but hope that the many friends you have made over the years will bring you a little solace and friendship. My heart goes out to you, give Tess a little pat on the head from me. From what I have learned about you through your writing I know you are no stranger to grief but hope that the happiness you have shared will pull you through, sending all my love, Val xxx