Keeley was getting desperate. He has entered orders for scheduled Tylenol into everyone’s chart to help mask any future fevers that might come along. Next he’s thinking about stealing all the thermometers. That or dropping a gigantic vanco/Zosyn bomb on top of the hospital.

“I just want one consult, one, that has nothing to do with an abnormally high body temperature, is that too much to ask?” Keeley said from his knees, begging to the skies above. “How about a good old-fashioned leukocytosis, just like in the olden days?”