Spoof news stories from Friday 2 November 2012

London - Rum goings-on behind the Berryfields potting shed have been blamed for a vile rumour about Monty Don's golden retriever Nigel.
Absent for several weeks during an outbreak of Badger's Disease on local allotments the five year-old pooch's s...

New York - Mayor Michael Bloomberg is being roundly criticized for permitting the New York Marathon to take place this weekend while millions of the city's citizens still suffer from hardships brought on by Hurricane Sandy.
In an attempt to avoid...

Scientists and hospital staff are baffled this evening as Hugo Mountbatten, 41 from Wigan, continues to talk in overly complex medical jargon after prolonged contact with the BBC medical drama series 'Holby City'.
The bar owner, from the Pemberton...

Rapper Chris Brown chose to dress as a terrorist for Halloween in a costume that included a fake beard turban and fake machine gun. Some have said that the costume was insulting. While others have said that giving publicity to the man who beat Rhiann...

The Red Sox have hung tough with David Ortiz. Now with days to go, the eyeball blinking has yet to commence. Reports filter out that the Sox will hold Ortiz to a one-year contract.
This should be enough to drive Ortiz apoplectic and to taking his...

NAUGATUCK, Connecticut - Mitt Romney flew to Naugatuck to visit one of his fellow multi-millionaire friends Simon P. Figgincow, 59.
Figgincow is the individual who is alleged to have told Romney not to show his income tax returns from 2007 to 2010...

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Katie Holmes and her daughter Suri flew down to Mexico to go piñata shopping.
Mother and daughter stayed at The Puffy Taco Resort & Casino which is co-owned by American Idol host Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest and former Ame...

And so it has come to pass that Freddie (the fallen) Starr has felt the long reaching grip of the law upon his nape.
Certainly, Mr. Starr has put himself through the mill recently; even appearing on breakfast television and placing himself before those great upholders of moral rectitude; Schofield and Willoughby.
Hasn't the man suffered enough?
How easy it must seem to him now, as he f...

MARINA DEL REY - Britney Spears recently remarked that every month she receives at least 115 marriage proposals from all over the United States and even from other countries such as Belgium, Bolivia, Bangladesh, and Bosnia.
But the "Oops" girl has...

CORCORAN, California - The most infamous inmate in the history of Corcoran State Prison, Charles Manson, has been denied parole for the 12th time.
Manson, who is now 77, was convicted for his role in the Sharon Tate murders of 1969.
He was rece...

Former head of FEMA Micheal D. Brown (Brownie as he is known to former President George W. Bush) delivered some harsh words about the Boy Scouts of America, just days after his recent remarks toward the Obama administration's response to Hurricane Sa...