JOKE OF THE DAY

The facts

Of life

Published: 04/04/2017 at 2:38 PM

Editor’s note:Do you need something to smile about? Every day, WND selects the best joke offered up by readers and contributors to its Laughlines forum and brings it to you as the WND Joke of the Day. Here is today’s offering:

Number 10 – Death is the No. 1 killer in the world.

Number 9 – Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 8 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 7 – Men have two emotions: hungry and amorous, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eye, make him a sandwich.

Number 6 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years. And give them a cell phone with all the bells and whistles and you may never see them again.

Number 5 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

Number 4 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 – In the ’60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 2 – Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.