I'm from Mars; I'm your neighbor next door,I was exploring the planets and so much more,Until my stupid ship crash landed here,Because I suddenly forgot how to steer!

Luckily, I found a few helpful locals,Who were kind enough to answer my calls,My calls of distress and frustration,And so they came to assess my situation.

There were three of them to be exact,And, oh, how quickly they began to act.I'd say "Scientist," "Philosopher," and "Engineer"--That is, if I were to name them by career.

The scientist, Hubert, studies quantum mechanics,And listens very closely to those annoying tics,The ones my ship has mysteriously been making,Ever since the crash from which I'm still shaking.

The engineer, Sally, has begun,Eagerly and seemingly having fun,To fix the plumbing on my ship--First order of business on a space trip!

And the philosopher, Immanuel, has been thinking,Thinking long and hard, sometimes blinking.Trying to figure out the justification for whyI crashed rather than soared through the astral sky.

Come, let me introduce you.Maybe you can join the crew.I'm sure that you and Teddy,Have something to offer at the ready."

"Why, that would be splendid," I'd say,"I'm so glad that in my bed I didn't stay,For this is already way more exciting,Than I expected, and, oh, how inviting."

Teddy and I would follow Sir Martian,Back to his friends at the station.It wouldn't take long--no, not at all,For the Moon is a tiny, eensy-weensy ball.

We would get there speedy quick, and I would see,Hubert, Immanuel, and skinny little Sally.They would be hard at work indeed,Taking care of Sir Martian's central need.

I'd see Hubert knocking on the ship, on the door,And then listening for something, maybe a roar.He was studying something for sure, testing.A lot of concentration he seemed to be investing.

Sally would be there too, getting a shock--After fixing the wires in the cockpit clock.She'd like it though, it'd be a buzz,She'd smile, and do it again just because.

Immanuel would be busy too--he'd be walking--But that's not all--he'd also be talking--Talking to himself, of course, speaking out loud,As though, in his mind, he were preaching to a crowd.

"My good friend Hubert," Sir Martian would say,"How goes the work on this bright sunny day?Have you figured anything out about my sorry ship?Could it be the quantum flux booster rocket has a rip?"

"Highly doubtful, Sir Marsion," would say Hubert,"But I did find, in the ventilation, this shirt.You must have lost it some time ago,How or why, well, I don't profess to know.

What I do know is what's causing those annoying tics,Those one's we've been hearing since quarter to six.You must have dropped your watch in the toilet,Accidently, of course, and I think you've spoiled it."

"After I pulled apart the plumming," Sally would interject,"Ripped it up, I did, to see what was wrecked.Pulled the tube out of the poddy,And out poured your watch, looking shoddy."

"Do you know what this means?!" Immanuel would intrude,"How depressing, how bismal, how utterly crude.For now, not only is his ship a wreck,But his shirt and watch too--we're up to our neck,

In troubles, that is, in dilemmas and puzzles,For I can't figure out how one guzzles,Three and a quarter gallons of salt water,Without pestering a contemptuous otter.

But that's a different problem, a digression,What's important now is to answer the question,Of why this terrible event did happen.We know it wasn't because Sir Martian was nappin'.

The only conclusion I can come to about this curse,Is that we live in a deterministic universe,Which can only mean it was written in the stars,That on this day you would crash, traveler from Mars."

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

It starts out a bit simple, fit for a three year old, and unexpectedly veers into very charming, smart and inventive territory. Nicely done, several rhymes had genuine entertainment value to an old salt like me. And gabriel, he's lucky to have you, enjoy

It starts out a bit simple, fit for a three year old, and unexpectedly veers into very charming, smart and inventive territory. Nicely done, several rhymes had genuine entertainment value to an old salt like me. And gabriel, he's lucky to have you, enjoy

Quite.

"smoke me a kipper Skipper I'll be back for Breakfast."

Arnold Judas RImmer V2.0. AKA Ace.

"

Helandhighwater wrote:Feel free to tell me what happened today to your sphincter, and at length, I am very interested in your ass. Pun intended.

It starts out a bit simple, fit for a three year old, and unexpectedly veers into very charming, smart and inventive territory. Nicely done, several rhymes had genuine entertainment value to an old salt like me. And gabriel, he's lucky to have you, enjoy

Thanks Gamer, but Gabriel isn't my son. He's a character based on my son. By the time I'm done this, my son will probably be 4 years old.

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

"So, like, do you need anything? What can I give you?Gold? Silver? A hug for each member of your crew?Oh, I'd love to give you a hug, Gaby;You're, like, a totally cute little baby!"

"I'm a toddler, thank you very much,"I'd say, trying to look mature and such,"And like I said, we're dropping off our friend,Sir Martian, for to him our helping hand we lend."

"Now, hold up," Sir Martian would say,"I never said I wanted to come home to stay.As I understood it, I'm here to call AMA,And after that, to continue my travels far and away."

"Oh, that's no problem," would say the Queen,"I totally love to help, I'm so not mean.You can use the royal phone, hanging there on the wall,Dial 9, then 1, then X, numlock's optional, then make your call.

And if you're all, like, going for a ride,Can I go with you? I mean, I have to confideThat I, well, that is, I'm really bored.There's things to do, yeah, but they can be ignored.

I'm sure Mars can deal with itself,At least for a short while, self-proclaimed elf,For, really, the most pressing issue of late,Has been what color nail polish I love or, like, hate.

I work totally hard as my subjects, I'm sure, have seen.So I think I deserve a break; I am, after all, the Queen!So is that OK? I mean, I hope I don't seem like a creep.It's just, I'm so bored, I often just fall asleep!"

At that, Immanuel would step up and nobly say:"Your highness, your excellency most beautiful and sweet,It would be our pleasure--and our honor--To bring you aboard before we're a goner."

Meanwhile, Sir Martian would be trying to figure out,The phone: "Did she say 'optional'?--that I doubt.She definitely said numlock was required,So I'll keep pushing it 'til I get tired."

So Sir Martian would push numlock 50 times,And for good measure, would insert a few dimes,And when he'd get tired, and his fingers hurt,He'd call his mom and dad, and would assert:

"Mom? Dad? Uh, well, I have something to say.You see, uh, it's like--it's been a bad day.And, well, you know the ship you let me borrow?It's, uh, well, it's--this will fill you with sorrow.

It was an accident, ok? It's wrecked, it's bashed.I totaled it. I'm sorry, but I crashed.I need you to call AMA and sort this out.I swear I'll make it up, without a doubt."

So while Sir Martian would undergo,This ordeal with his parents, disappointed so,The Ice Queen would become inaugurated,Into the crew and to the stars, with us, be fated.

When Sir Martian would be done,His parents taking care of their son,He'd catch up with the rest of us,And board the ship, now more like a bus.

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

We'd start to lose room aboard the ship,But I'd shove and push with my hip,And make myself comfortable and cozy,So that the rest of the trip would be rosy.

Where would we go now?We'd have to plan our trip somehow.I would have been to the Moon,And we'd all have been to Mars since noon.

Well, Jupiter, of course, would be the next logical place.It's definitely way out there in space.So why not? We'd set our course for the great red giant.Would everyone agree? Of course, they'd be compliant.

"But should I bring it to your attention,"Would interupt Hubert, in his voice an inflexion,"That after consulting the Weather Network,It seems a storm, a hurricane, on Jupiter does lurk.

According to Tom, the weather man,It blows wind stronger than any fan,It's even colored red like a great swirling fire,And it's as big as Earth times three, maybe higher."

"Oh, oh, oh!" would perk up Sally with glee,"Is there any lightening, can you see,Can you, Hubert? On the screen? Out the window?Oh, electricity excites me so, as you know."

"Yes, my dear," Hubert would answer,"Where there's a storm, you can be sure,There'll also be lightening galore,So much, it'll throw you to the floor."

"But of course, Buster, and sorry about the name.I have a real problem," I'd say to ease the pain,"Of guessing people's names"--and Sir Martian would say:"In fact, he guessed my name 3 times just the other day!"

And with that, Buster lead us into the game room,Where, to our stupifaction, we found what, I assume,Were four other dogs playing poker,I would not believe it: "Okay, whose the joker?"

"Yup," would pipe up the twins, Puddles and Sparky.The Poodles who, whether sense or malarkey,Would respond together, at the same time,Brother and sister were they, like rhymth and rhyme.

"Mawe," would say Sparky, "Or femawe," Puddles would say,And then together: "We have wights dat awe hewe to stay,Wheder spotted or pwane<sp?>, stwiped or pwad,We take pwide in doghood, and it makes us gwad."

And at that, all would howl and yipe,For with doggihood they would have no gripe.They'd be proud and exuberant, they would,And of this, we'd make sure we understood.

"Wew, come on, I'w show you de bwoom,"Buster would say, leaving the room.He'd come back with brooms and hand them out,From Rona or Home and Garden, no doubt.

"Now, as I was saying," Rex continued, From the conversation into which we did intrude,"Dis pwobwem has been wiv us fow a whiwe,And evew since it stawted, I haven't seen a smiwe,

Fwom any one of you, now fwom mysewf,De probwem, dat is, dewe on de shewf.""You mean," would yelp Sparky, "aww dat noffing?De empy spafe, de void, de abfenfe of someffing?"

"If you need someone to go to the store for you,Why don't I go--er, that is, I and my crew.There'd be no need for you to get up at all,As soon as we get unstuck from that wall."

"But you awe stuck," would remind old Buster,"And de fwoow stiww doesn't have its shiny wuster,So keep cweaning, and weeve de doggy buisness to--Unwess..." Buster would pause and turn to his doggy crew.

"Say... what if we wet de kid dwive ouw ship,We could wet him take it for a spafe twip,To go get snacks, of couwse, not just fow kicks.If you did dis fow us, kid, I'w give you wicks."

"Well," I'd contort, "My idea's worth more than fart,But you are right about one thing--I am smart.And I'm serious too--we should all pack together,And fly in your ship, through sun or stormy weather."

"Da kid's wight," would say Spot,"Wet's stwike de iwon when its hot,And take the oppowtunity to eawnestwy decide,Dat by dis pwan, we won't have to divide."

"But we muft stiww divide," would interrupt Rex,"Fow whose gonna dwive? Puddles of de opposite sex?""Now, Wex, we poddwe giwls can dwive just as weww,As you mawe dogs--don't make me waise heww!

But, be dat as it may, I'm not dwiving."Spot would concur: "To dwive, I'm not stwiving.""Neider am I," would insist Sparky,"Not me," Buster would say snarkly.

And of course, the barking and yelping would begin,But again, I would arbiter, and bring back a grin,On Buster's, Spot's, Rex's, Sparky's and Puddle's face.And sooner than later, we'd be back up in space.

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I would be at the helm, quite naturally of course,For this solution was simple; it would be the source,of how we could all go to get snacks as one,While all doggies play poker and have fun.

In fact, we would bring the whole table,Plus chairs, cards, and whatever we'd be able,To fit on this spacious and roomy ship,For there'd be several rooms besides the cockpit.

The dogs would be in the back room playing,And in the bathroom, we'd hear something spraying,It was only Icy, spraying her hair with gel,The pantry was the next room, the next cell.

And that room, the pantry, would be our goal,It'd be the room that, right then, would be a hole.And our mission was to fill it with snacks,Goodies that would help the dogs relax.

But where in the vastness of interstellar space,Would we find snacks with which to stuff our face?To search aimlessly would seem our only choice,Until over the intercom came a doggy voice:

"In case you didn't know, Satuwn is de pwace,Whewe you can buy cheesies by de case."So we'd fly off this big red ball,And be at Saturn in no time at all.

But unbeknownst to us and as a surprise,This attempt to reach Saturn would be our demise,For about half way there, we'd crash on Mars--That's right, Mars, way out amongst the outer stars.

As it would happen, Sir Martian's mom and dad,Would feel, towards their son, so incredibly bad,And while they would be dealing with AMA,They just had to visit their son. Mom would say:

"We were worried about our little Marshy-Warshy--And don't take this to sound too harshy--You might get into trouble so far from home,And so we brought you lunch, cash, and this comb."

Marshy would ask: "You drove Mars way out here?Way past Jupiter? That's quite queer.""It's the least I, daddy, could do for my boy.Plus there seems to be some kind of ploy.

For the Queen has gone missing, it appears.Notification of her absence reached no one's ears,And, well, since there was no one to authorize it,We made an executive decision to take Mars out for a bit."

Don't forget, that is, to, like, send out a broadcast,To all of Mars--and, oh yes, when they go past,Maybe to Phobeus and Deimos too,So that no one will, like, construe,

My absence for a ploy, like what you just said.No, I'm not kidnapped, I'm totally not asleep in bed,I'm just, like, conducting some important politics,Some foreign affairs, that is--I'll return on, uuuh, June 6."

"Not only that," dad would say, "but your ship,Marshy-Warshy, did we repair--not a scratch or rip.We had it toed from the Moon,At about a quarter to noon."

"We then fixed it up, free of charge," mom added,"Martian AMA has all the perks, they even made it padded.""It's ready to go son," continued dad, "if you want it.Here's the keys--crash it again, and you're in deep @$*%."

"Well," Marshy-Warshy responded in utter surprise,"Our ship is a bit crowded, despite its size,So ummm... yeah, I'll take the keys,Driving my own ship would put me at ease."

"Why don't you follow me? Or I could follow you.Your call, captain--I'm still a loyal member of your crew.""Well," I'd say, "I guess elbow room is a virtue,And like sardines, I don't want to sit and stew.

Okay, we'll fly in tandem, a two-ship crew,But I'm still taking the lead, it's true.""Fine with me," Sir Martian would happily conciliate,"And a few members into my crew, I'll need to consummate.

For I'd prefer not to go it alone,For it would leave me cold as a stone.""I'll go with you!" Sally would volunteer,"So will I," would 2nd Hubert, "I'll steer.

For I'm experienced in many-a-piloting lesson,And I'm sure your father would agree that his son,Should allow someone who doesn't typically crash,To drive your ship in a manner not so rash."

"Then it's settled," I'd conclude,"The manner in which we've been 'crewed,'That is, how we're to be partitioned,Split up, divided, as it were, fissioned.

"East, did you say?" Mrs. Martian would point out,"I'm sorry, but it's West--you need to do a round-about.Saturn, at <i>this</i> time of year,Is two light hours away from here.

It's not next door to Jupiter--That's a fact that's for sure--For Saturn is on the opposite side of the Sun,From where we are now--sorry to ruin your fun."

"But you'll have to travel quite a ways,"Dad'd continue, "Maybe even for several days.You'll have to travel past the Earth,Past the Moon and, for what it's worth,

Past Venus and Mercury, and around the Sun,Then straight 'til morning, young padawan,And then you'll reach Saturn--You need only follow that pattern."

"That's mighty helpful, Mr. and Mrs. Martian,"I'd say with all due courtesy and passion,"And if there's nothing more to address,We should begin this unexpected regress."

But Hubert, Sally and Sir Martian would already be aboard,And this news about East and West would have been ignored;They wouldn't have caught that Saturn was West,And would set their course East--really not best.

"I'll eat it right away, apples are so yummy,Why, to eat peanut butter or cheesy fish is funny,If it came first, before something sweet,Like something fruity, for the sake of Pete."

So Sir Martian would bite into the apple,the first of mom's foods to sample.Just as on the dashboard, he'd put his feet up,He'd noticed something so foul and corrupt.

For in the apple, under the first bite,Would be a nematode--a worm--a horrible sight,"Yeeeuuwghch," would yelp the green man from Mars,The grossness, leaving in his mind, many scars.

He'd toss it out the window, onto my ship,That's right--about a twenty yard trajectory trip.It would get lodged somewhere on the wing:On the part of Sir Martian, it'd be a magnificent fling.

Then we'd both take off--in opposite directions--Neither of us realizing our opposite projections:Sir Martian, Sally, and Hubert at the helm going East,While we'd go West--to Saturn that great ringed beast.

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

Fow I'm in da mood for nachos too, you know,Even if, to you Fwanky, a wot mowe money I'd owe.""So a tousand owdues of de bugues wit' cheesy doubue bacon,Wit' a side a fuies isn't de decision dat youe makin'?"

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus

I don't care about income inequality, I care about the idea that there are people who have actual obstacles to success.-Ben Shapiro

...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.-Ben Shapiro

We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.-Milo Yiannopoulus