Pip, Pip, Hooray!

This is Pip Lincolne. She’s an author, blogger, artist, Aussie, and my new pal.

I have a 30 minute interval between the Melbourne Cup and my first meeting with Pip (who blogs at Meet Me at Mikes ). I rush upstairs to my hotel room, reapply my lipstick and splash water under my arms like a lady, and then stumble back down to meet Pip in the lobby. Five-hour dinners with strangers aren’t an everyday occurrence for me, so I am somewhat concerned about whether we’ll hit it off.

But Pip is waiting for me in the lobby with a package of touching vintage children’s books, one of which has a tiny record of Australian animal sounds. She has tied the gift with a beaded necklace she made for me. I refrain from tearing up and kissing her face, and instead just say, “Thank you! I love these very, very much.” Because I am a cool customer like that.

Then we walk to dinner at Vue de Monde – where the view of Melbourne is without parallel, and they set the table with rocks.

This is charming, childlike, and perfectly suited to our mood. Throughout the night, they use each of the stones as serving pieces for a gorgeous meal that is the nicest possible way to get to know a new friend.

Our menu:

Truffle Marshmallow

Pillowy with crispy savory bits.

Smoked Eel, White Chocolate, Caviar

The eel is candied, so it’s crispy on the outside.

Oysters

Well, deconstructed oysters in transparent papery noodles.

Salt Cured Wallaby

I’ve never had Wallaby before, nor had I planned to have Wallaby. It tastes nothing like chicken.

This gives you a good idea of how each tea presentation goes. First the leaves.

Then warming the accoutrements, this time over steam from a bamboo tray.

Then Charlie adds heated water to the tea leaves so they can steep.

And voila. The process is most soothing and steamy.

A Marron is a type of crayfish, and the sweetbreads come in paste form. I pretend they are not glandular, because I am a less adventurous eater than I would like you to believe. They’re good, so self-deception works to my advantage yet again. Tantara.

I like the leather bread basket. Everything is so earthy up here in the sky.

Duck Yolk, Pear, Truffle; Paired with a Mar-tea-ni

This is the apparatus for my tea martini, which is refreshing. Pip isn’t drinking, and I just barely refrain from requesting her serving as well.

Unctuous.

Cucumber, Wood Sorrel

This bit is such fun. They bring us small bowls of sorrel and pansies, then flash freeze them.

Then they give us pestles to crush them. I am crushing you. Crunch, crunch, crunch.

And they put a scoop of cucumber sorbet on top. Delight! One of our favorite parts of the meal.

More snow cream, hooray! The asparagus is so delicate and fresh — all of us clearly need jars of snow in the fridge. I’m sure they would keep.

So very much tea. Time for a bathroom break.

This? Is the bathroom sink. It’s the size of a small coffee table, and though I am not the least bit tipsy, I splash around in it for longer than is necessary for hygienic purposes. I’m pretty sure that if you climb atop, it can beam you up.

On my way back to the table, I am so confused by the modernist doors, I accidentally wander into the mens’ room instead of the dining room, while sober. It’s possible I need a nap.

I return to the table red faced, and there is cheese.

Cheese, you are always there for me. It is approaching 2 a.m., and I think I am having a stroke.