Overclocking Solar Pooh

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At Gearlog, we strive to stay on the cutting edge of technology. And sometimes that means going outside the normal channels to go find it.

This week we ventured into Chinatown, a community known for being on the front line in various forms of research, from genetic to historical meteorology. We found a cute little solar-powered “Winnie the Pooh” bobblehead.A cursory search of the Web found no such product, so I think we really scored here: It looks like we’ve stumbled upon a prototype toy that we are not supposed to have.

After a quick consult with our legal department, we’ve decided to ignore the almost certain legal action that will result and proceed with this exclusive hands-on preview of the new solar-powered bobblehead bear.

Results of our overclocking after the jump!

The first thing you will notice about the Solar Pooh is that he apparently does not need a nose, as it might throw off his bobblehead action. There were really no other changes to Pooh: He’s kept his Ted-Kennedy-circa-1970, bulging-polo-shirt-sans-pants look.

When I set up Pooh in the window to take advantage of his paltry solar panel, his performance was roughly 3 bobbles per minute. I attributed this to the bear going green and making the change from organic bee sucrose to solar power. We totally appreciate what Pooh was trying to do, and 3 bobbles a minute is probably a good pace for most 83-year-olds–but via modern technology, I think we can push this performance through the proverbial roof. Let’s see if we can overclock our Pooh, shall we?

Let’s see how Pooh does with a $1,200 graphics card.

We increased Pooh’s solar-power capacity exponentially with these add-on panels.

We gave Pooh a solar energy boost with this portable solar charger.

Less solar–more battery!

Despite our efforts, Pooh remained at room temperature.

Pooh nearly melted under the glare of our artificial “sun.” Performance was unaffected.

Unfortunately, we were unable to install 64-bit Windows.

To conclude–our efforts at boosting Pooh’s performance were pretty much all for naught. He stubbornly remained at 3 bobbles per minute. Oh, well.