waterworks

I’m one of those people who can cry at the drop at the hat, sometimes. If I’m frustrated? Waterworks. Angry? Yup, I’ll tear up. Watch that commercial on TV with the cute kid? Well, you get the idea.

I’m having one of those overly emotional days, today.

Vista had a bad seizure last night. It took her a long time to come out of it, which is very unusual for her. Usually her seizures are short, and she’s fine right after them.

This one lasted longer and when we were finally able to wake her up after it, she couldn’t tell us her name. She fell back asleep, which meant we had to continue to try to wake her up every little bit, trying to bring her out of the post seizure and make sure her cognitive functions returned.

Let me tell you… when you can’t wake up your kid, it’s scary. V’s notoriously hard to wake up at the best of times. But this? This was different. This was holding a ragdoll in my arms. And just when we thought she might open her eyes she was gone again.

When we finally started to get some response out of her and I was coaxing her to open her eyes, she told me she couldn’t. She was trying, but her eyes wouldn’t open. Gah!

It took almost an hour for her to fully return. That is a loooong 60 minutes of debating whether to bring her into to the ER, chatting with an on-call nurse, and repeating “Vista, sweetie…wake up and open your eyes for Mama” over and over.

This kid is seriously going to give me a heart attack.

She’s better this morning. A little off on her balance, but otherwise seems to be alright.

I’ll be calling her neurologist on Monday morning to see if they want to do some level checks for her meds, since she’s had a couple growth spurts over the past could months.

But the fact that this seizure was so different than her normal ones… doesn’t sit well with me.

It makes me nervous that they’ll want to talk brain surgery again. Which REALLY doesn’t sit well with me.

So while I’ve been doing the classic ‘worry about things you have no control over’ this morning I realize… wait… where the hell’s my cat?

I haven’t seen him since yesterday.

He always comes home. Several times a day. To eat, and get pets, and shed all over my floors.

But, no sign of him.

I couldn’t be Bil’s annoying useless cat that goes missing. Noooo…it has to be my cat who I love and adore.

*sigh*

So I quit this weekend. And in lieu of crying I’m eating ice cream, and carbs, and other random junk. Please send wine and margaritas to wash it all down.

She ran sobbing to her room. I raised an eyebrow and looked at Bil. He shrugged and followed after her.

I could hear him trying to decipher the source of the waterworks.

Vista: “I waaaaant mommy!” *sob* *hiccup* *sob*

Bil: “OK. Well, she’s in the living room”

Vista: “No. That person said there is no mommy. Only Zuul. I don’t WANT Zuul. I WANT MOMMY!!” *more wailing*

Bil: “What person?”

Vista: “That person in the living room. They said there’s no mommy”

Bil: “Wait… you’re talking about Mommy? What Mommy said?”

Vista: “But there is no Mommy…..”

By this point I had to step in and intervene. I crawled onto her bed and picked her up and explained that yes, Mommy was here and we were just joking and there was no more Zuul, and so on. ZOMG… the DRAMA.

Half an hour later we finally got her calmed down enough that she would go play.

Me: “OK, lets go play before Mommy breaks your bed by sitting on it”

Vista: “Mommy’s going to break my bed?!? Waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh”

Me: *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

Bil: *glare*

I’m pretty sure I’m banned from saying anything for the rest of the night.