Woman Has 2 Vaginas (And Seemingly Didn’t Know It)

This article in The Daily Mail is ostensibly about how a woman with two vaginas has turned down an offer to appear in adult films. But here is what it is really about.

1) How having double the vaginas gives you double the things to talk about at parties:

‘Once I found out what it was I told everybody,’ [Hazel Jones] told TV hosts Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield. ‘I thought it was amazing and it’s definitely an ice-breaker at parties’

Presumably, because you go up to people and say “hey! I carry two vaginas inside me. What’s your hidden talent?” And the other person is like, “bird calls.”

2) How double vaginas are for sharing:

‘If women want to have a look, I’m quite happy to show them, it’s not something I’m embarrassed by.’

Dude, if I had double vaginas I would get them cool separate vagina costumes and make their existence a major part of my outfit. Like “sorry, I will need two pairs of tap shorts, to better accomodate both of my vaginas.”

3) You too might have a whole host of vaginas and never know it.

Hazel went to the doctor after her long-term boyfriend told her she was ‘different’ in the genital area.

Bonus question: how long did he wait to tell her? Really? Let’s place bets. I’m betting three months.