Disclaimer: This is my blog and the opinions and views belong to me. All images are found on the internet and are believed to be part of public domain. All images posted are believed to be posted within my rights according to the U.S. Copyright Fair Use Act (title 17, U.S. Code.) if credit for image is available, it will be posted with the associated photo. If you own the right to an image and would like for it to be removed please email tb.3296@gmail.com and it will be removed promptly. – Travis

Health

A while back on my Instagram (@_thet_) I posted a poll asking, “Are you living your best life? If you are why do you think that and if not why aren’t you?” With that question, I just wanted to know from my followers if they were or not and to do a small bit of research.

The majority, of young African Americans, believe that they are not living their best life due to a multitude of things finances, post-grad life, or simply not doing what they want to do in life and not knowing how to start!

I did not solely piece that together with my small poll, but from situations, I have been in within my life. On the flip side other young African Americans believe they are from their current situation that could be considered stagnant or they are just simply comfortable. The question that I will always have though is, can you ever live your best life if you are always growing and developing in life? My answer is in the recording below! Gif by Giphy!

It is around that time and spring semester is about to start for you or has already started. Now, unless you have it to where you pay cash for school more than likely you are utilizing financial aid. With that being said it can be quite confusing and by looking at it can be quite threatening but per usual I am here to help.

So for the new year, I am trying something new so stick with me on it and give me some feedback on it! I will be doing a small podcast on each blog post the recording won’t be too long unless its a topic that I have to give my opinion on. But nonetheless, I will be speaking on financial aid and my tips for it. Such as not lying on the actual form (FASFA), utilizing your school’s financial aid counselor, and using last years tax return to file.

2018 has arrived and now it is time for the first lesson! Since we are in a New Year things are beginning to reset and things are beginning to be given such as clout….but first let me ask you some questions:

Are you the person who gets invited out everywhere no matter the time or day? Are you the one people try to plan around? Are you the one where folks always come for advice? Are you the person who at times is the center of attention or folks just wanna see you just to see you? I could ask questions all day but if you answered yes to any of these questions you ma’am or sir hold some clout! Congratulations!

Are you the person who tries to post things on Instagram that you know will gain attention even though no one cares? Are you the one person who tries their hardest to outshine others for no reason? Are you the one begging to be the center of attention even though there isn’t time for it or no is checking for you? Are you just always being extra and acting as if you do so much when you do……nothing at all? Once again I could ask you questions like this all day but if you answered yes to any of these questions you ma’am or sir you are begging for clout and you need to STOP!

If you do not know what clout means let me give you the Urban Dictionary definition along with the Dictionary definition:

With those definitions you now understand right? Clout is a social thing it is almost how everyone perceives you and how influential you are. Here’s an example, Oprah has major clout if she says jump the world around her will ask, “how high?”. But why? In simple terms, she is Oprah and Oprah has put in major work to get to that point. Plus the world perceives her in a very positive way! So why not do something for a kind person who just might pay you a bunch of money and give you some amazing advice? God knows I would.

Now, what if she was a very negative, hateful, and a sneaky woman? You probably wouldn’t do anything for her right? Right. Having clout is a social thing that only you can control! If you live your life and strive for greatness and do right by the ones that do right by you clout is going to follow you and grow for you. The ones that try to grab clout off of things such as being the loudest person in the room or the one with “nicest” clothing have zero clout in real life so they want you to give it to them by visual aesthetics. Not by who they truly are which probably isn’t the best person and those are clout beggers.

For myself, I have been told that I hold clout because I can answer yes to every single one of those questions…the first set of questions that is. Now, I am not trying to brag so do not take it as such but the reason that I hold it is that I have always been myself, positive, and lived what in my mind is my best life even though I have my ups and downs. Folks take note of it and want to know what I do, how I did it, and what is next. POSITIVE VIBES BRING POSITIVE VIBES AND THOSE VIBES BRING MAJOR CLOUT!!! So live on folks and live your best life

She is unsure of what to expect but knows what is on her schedule: lunch, research in the campus chemistry lab and possibly a meeting.

She is more than likely going to skip dinner, but she always makes her way back to her room for long hours of school work.

Being Jessica Tolbert may seem easy, but it is not. Yet she is living out her dreams of being the Student Government Association president at Claflin University.

She is a child of Christ, always searching for a good laugh, fun-loving and overall easy going.

Her passion for SGA started in the sixth grade when she later became the president in middle school and then began her journey toward high school.

Tolbert has always fallen into a leadership position where she would learn more about herself, always developing her skills due to the constant pressure. She still drives herself to improve her campus, which ultimately builds her.

Some may ask, “Who is President Tolbert?”

She is a level-headed president who says she is committed to driving a team of leaders ahead toward innovation with service as the focus. She said that at times the journey can be a challenge but overall it is rewarding.

Tolbert makes all attempts to respect and understand perspectives and ideas from her fellow SGA members.

The Chattanooga, Tennessee, native believes her relationship with God, family and friends is what makes her.

“I would literally not be who I am if I did not have support from all corners of life,” she said.

Tolbert surrounds herself with positive people who are a positive influence on her.

“I surround myself with fun-loving people that have a good time no matter in class, in lab, at a meeting or in the dorm,” Tolbert said.

Tolbert has two younger sisters and a younger stepbrother attending Morehouse College. She says her parents are “pretty cool.”

She has lived in the same house all of her life. She adores backpacking, drawing trees and riding roller coasters.

She enjoys spicy foods, and Indian cuisine is her absolute favorite. She believes she laughs a total of 30 minutes a day.

She was afraid of the dark until she came to college. Now she doesn’t need a nightlight.

Jill Scott is her all-time favorite artist. She says Jill was the only artist her mother would play in the car since 2001.

What is next for Jessica Tolbert?

“After Claflin University, I will be attending a graduate school where I will more than likely obtain a Ph.D. in the field of chemistry. I write and illustrate children’s books, so I will continue that endeavor and continue to educate myself. I believe that education should be passed down continuously.”

As my parents would say to engage with a professional to potentially acquire a job was quite difficult from my understanding. It was more of a “give me a hook up” type stage. Traditionally, you would have to write cover letters and resumes (which at times you still have to) but currently, you have websites like LinkedIn that can surpass you through that process. With the correct social media engagement, it could potentially land you a job. Engaging in social media can either make your career or break your career essentially. As an example, Instagram the platform itself is quite simple which is posting a picture and moving along the day. If used properly, you can acquire a job by possibly showcasing a profitable skill. Such as for myself I want to have a career within social media so a company may realize that I am very engaging with social media and others who use and want to hire me to handle their companies social accounts.

1. Have A Separate Accounts (Personal & Business) – Your future employer does not care about you walking your dog every morning or what you wore to the latest party. They only thing they want to know is what you are skillful in that will benefit them. Separate that professional life (account) from your personal life (account). It’s almost like a virtual business card. Bonus tip: Use your personal account to promote your business account!

2. Use Proper Grammar! – There is nothing worse then reading an amazing post and you begin to notice simple grammar errors that could’ve been corrected if a proofread was actually done. Of course, you can delete it but if you do not catch it immediately your potential employer or a potential business opportunity could pass you by due to being a tad bit illiterate.

3. Attempt to Stay Out Of Political Arguments: I know it sounds as if you cannot speak your mind but at times an employer may not agree with your political views. Along with that the media if you are a prominent figure within your company/career can twist your words and make it seem as though your company agrees wholeheartedly with your views and could put them in a jeopardizing situation. Unless what you are doing employment ties in with giving your opinion try not to do it. Even on your personal account try not to do it because it can be tracked. Do not argue in general!

4. Leave Personal Issues…Personal: Your personal life should not be in the mainstream of social media. Well, at least the negative stuff you should not post. If you are having personal issues with someone it should not be blasted online no matter what. Positive vibes only even on your social media outlets. Do not let negative things steer you in a negative direction.

Overall, be professional with your social media. There is nothing wrong with letting your life touch on your professional life as long as it UPLIFTS it rather than hurt it. Social media can either make you or break you. View it as the modern day resume.

Now, from the title, you are probably thinking this is going to be about dating or something in that area….WELL, IT IS NOT! This is simply about you doing what you want to do and improving yourself. Back in the day, I was a Captain Save-A-Hoe but due to my mother fussing at me and telling me to enjoy my young years I have now evolved into someone who is doing them and being their true self. If you are still confused you will understand after reading this!

Being a Captain Save-A-Hoe in this context means you attempt to satisfy everyone or a certain someone to a point where you suppress yourself or you try to help everyone or a certain someone to a point where you don’t have time for yourself or the things you truly love. Now, that you have my definition I can openly admit to you again that I use to help and try to satisfy everyone. Why is that? The main reason why would be that I did not like when folks were mad at me or had a negative emotion. So I began to start SAVING….and Mama wasn’t having it. She knew at a young age that I was going to be this helpful citizen but not to the point where I would suppress myself and try to make that person better while hurting myself. You are either reading this to know how to stop being one or how to not to become one well here is how:

Allowing yourself to be comfortable in the things you love!

At one point I would think that if I indulge myself in the things that I love while I am supposed to be doing something that someone else loved I was being selfish! Dumb right? I know. What you like is what you like and you do not have to make an excuse to anyone about it. You’ll always have those friends that want to bring you to every single thing that they go to and take you away from your alone time or something that you want to do. If your thing is sitting in your underwear drinking strawberry milk while reading the latest erotica book….THAT IS YOU AND YOU NEED TO ENJOY THAT! Yea, it is cool doing stuff but what about the stuff you like to do. “You can’t be everywhere and be with everybody.” – My Mother

You have one life to live and this is not the Sims game where you can control someone else life. Be who you are and do not apologize for it. But as a disclaimer, this does not give you the right to be a totally negative person to someone just because you believe that is who you are…you just need to seek some help and let go of some bitterness. I digress, back to my main point you can’t suppress yourself for someone to feel better for themselves. There is nothing wrong with making someone feel better about themselves but you shall not stop your blessings because someone says, “you do the most.” If not that phrase they use something that makes you want to be on the same level as them. If it becomes a problem that you are successful and they are at the point in their life that they are not and they began to act funny around towards you….they were never your friends and you need to find some new friends. Be your wonderful self and press on with life!

It is a pretty simple concept to understand, right? Right. At the end of the day if you skipped to the bottom of this post just to see the conclusion here it is. Be who you are and do not apologize for it. You need personal time like anyone else. Do not and I repeat do not put yourself down to try to lift someone else up. You are blessed in many ways and you need to continue to walk in those blessings.

You may feel as though the day gets away from you and you aren’t accomplishing anything which is…..OK! Many people do but are you truly planning for your life or just planning for the day? Here is what I mean:

Planning for the day: Going to work and going out with not much thought of what you are going to do in the future in the terms of career, life, or anything that will bring you to that next level of life. If it is finically or just overall happiness.

Planning for Life: Living your daily life with goals that you are trying to reach that will bring you to that next level. You’re writing them down in places to remind you daily. You are setting up things that will benefit you in the long term!

Currently, this may be you!

Simple right? Right. You are probably asking, “Travis, how do I plan accordingly?” In the simplest way…SET YOURSELF UP FOR THE FUTURE!! Invest in something that will pay you back in the long run. Get that extra bit of education to get that promotion at your job. Start that small business that you’ve wanted to start. Just start planning for the bigger picture of life! If you have your own business already start doing everything and anything that deals with that business….dive into it. Don’t do what you believe you can and stick to that ground level. I am tired of hearing and seeing people who aren’t planning accordingly and are at a constant stand still with life. Never get comfortable!

Yes, enjoy the moment but when it is all said and done plan for the next step. Here is an example that is personal to me on both ends:

Me planning for the day: Before graduating from high school I did not know what I was going to do for college! All of my friends knew but me….I applied for one school and that was my dream school. I applied and the day decision was given out I was…..denied. I was being lazy and counter productive that I did not know what to do so I planned for that day, not for my life. But thank God my parents were planning for my life now I am at a school that I love and would have wished I considered a long time ago!

Me planning for life: Going into my senior year of college I already know what graduate school I want to attend and working to make sure that I am undeniable. I know the budget I want to be on for my first apartment! I know where I want my brand (#TravisSpeaks & 3>2.96) to be out in the future. Lowkey, I know where I want my Ph.D. and figuring out the requirements for that. I know where I want to be at organizational (ΑΚΨ & ΩΨΦ) wise when it comes to holding a national position within the organizations! But like always my parents are still helping me plan.

Prepare yourself to have one of these moments.

Take your time and sit down with yourself and say to yourself, “What is next for me?” Let the thoughts flow and write them down. Figure out your goals and begin to PLAN the steps it takes to get to that goal. It could all be so simple! If you need some help ask someone who you think that knows best or….ASK ME!!! Email me at tb.3296@gmail.com or DM on IG @_thet_! I will be happy to help. It is always the season for improvements! So start improving but stay patient. It takes time to get into the new groove of improvement. God knows it was hard for me at some points because you either feel defeated or still nothing is happening. Like I said before what you are doing is not for the moment it is for the long run. Like a savings account for life, it is not needed at that moment but you will need it in the future!

Quick Scenario: You planned a day with your friends that you haven’t seen in a while! Cool right? Right. You put on your outfit, look at the menu of the restaurant, and do all the prep work to get ready for this iconic social day! Until….the dreaded text messages roll in of the cancellations from your friends:

SO WHAT DO YOU DO?!?! Go ahead and go with the plans and go alone or stay at home?

Well, I am going to tell you what you are going to do! GO OUT AND ENJOY THIS SELDOM ALONE TIME YOU HAVE!!! In my head, I have mastered the art of going out alone not in the sense of being “anti-social”. Just in the simple sense of I want to enjoy my day alone and be on my own time! A majority, of people, haven’t tried it and maybe you haven’t but there is nothing wrong with that because I am here to help you! So let’s gear up and grab our wallets to start our journey!

So boom……you’re alone with the plans that were set and are already dressed so what is next?

First, make sure you have prepped your daily life for this outing when it comes to gas in your car, money in your account, didn’t have to go to work, and all bills are paid. Nothing worst than going somewhere and you have absolutely no type of funds to do anything! Yes, it has happened to me before! Bonus tip: Set a budget for your outing no matter what you’re doing. If you’re just eating set a price for that ticket. If you are shopping set that amount you will not surpass. If you are going to a museum set how much you want to pay in there or go somewhere free!

Next, try to find a location that peaks your interest if not an area where there is a lot to do. For example, my favorite type of place or area would be anything dealing with either fashion or art with a nice food spot that is in walking distance. Where you go can be brand new to you or a somewhere you have already peeped and wanted to know more about or somewhere you know very well. Just make sure you’re in a safe place!

Lastly, head out!Drive your well-prepared self to your place of interest! Once you get to that location sit down and relax and just think about life and enjoy the views and pictures that you are going to take! Let all positive vibes in and give them back! You’ll be at the height of your relaxation meter once you get out of the mindset that you need someone to sit across from you or walk with you.

Shop & Eat

Seems so simple right?It is.So hard to do though right?It is for the first time. Reason being you do not want anyone to label you as “funny acting” or “being too cute to hang with others” or your mind may be skewed to think that you always have to be with someone to have fun. How do I know this? I have friends who have thought like this along with myself for a short period of time but you do it once you almost can’t stop!

Next, you’ll see yourself spending 1 to 2 hours alone to spending an entire day alone and not walking back in the house until 12 AM of the next day. How does Travis know this? I have gone out at 9 AM ate breakfast and came back home at 12 AM with three to-go boxes and a small shopping bag (balling on a budget) with my calfs looking amazing! Going out alone does not make you weird not even a little bit!

So get up folks and enjoy a day without bae (if you have one), without friends, and without your pet (if you have one)! Life is too short for you to think that you have to depend on all of your fun time into an individual or group. Maybe you and I will cross alone day paths!

June 25th, 2017 the B.E.T Awards happen! As we all know it is a celebration of the African American culture! Sound great right? Right. Honestly, it wasn’t all of that and hasn’t been for a while. I just watch for the Black Twitter Family Reunion I’m the cousin who drives his own car just in case things get outta hand so I can leave at a moments notice. Let’s get into this review! The whole show to me just wasn’t hitting on much…well honestly when was the last time it hit on something? 6.5 out of 10 rating.

Opening show by Bruno Mars with the ‘Hooligan’ jersey gave me some hope that the show would be something serious! He literally showed up and showed out! Start up was pretty strong until the host comedienne Leslie Jones came on stage and things went left! Not saying she wasn’t funny but her jokes are so comic view way back in the day. Everything just seemed tired and forced and could’ve been better.

My favorite performance would have to be……the Georgia-based music group Migos who took home the first award of the night for ‘Best Group’ along with they won ‘Best Collaboration’ for ‘Bad and Boujee’, which featured who I think is cool dressed Lil Uzi Vert. Even though all performances were fairly decent and awkward (Trey Songz) at times I dealt with em. Aside from the New Edition tribute that was something serious also. Honestly, the ‘Best Group’ award was a given due to the other groups were either artist who came together to make some music/album or groups we haven’t heard from a while within mainstream which for some reason B.E.T loves to do! Speaking of categories some of them didn’t make sense…..especially ONE very special one to me but I will get there in a moment.

Chance the Rapper won ‘Best New Artist’ and had an amazing speech due to him being awarded the ‘Humanitarian Award’ which he is the youngest recipient of ever to win the award! GO CHANCE!

“To be receiving something like this, at my age, it feels good as hell. It feels a little early to get something like this, but my God doesn’t make mistakes,” he said with much joy. “I like to think he’s putting enormous pressure on me to see how I react.” – Chance

He also touched on some political stuff that I was truly living for:

“I had plans, originally, to try and tell the world, and everybody watching, how they can make it a better place. To tell everybody in this government that y’all need to let everybody out of jail for selling weed before y’all start making it legal for people to sell and make capital off it,” he said. “I was going to tell the Chicago Public School system not to take out a loan from Chase Bank when they know that our schools are planning on failing in our district. I was going to tell those judges that we just need a conviction when you know these niggas is wrong for doing this.”

The live Xscape reunion was a nice little throwback even though that is not my generation I still know a little something something. *Does two step* Overall, the show was decent and kinda sorta in order!

NOW! I need to discuss this ‘Best Female Hip-Hop Artist’ award. Yes, I am a Nicki Minaj fan but this does not skew my mind on the matter. Overall, Remy Ma did not deserve that award not even a little bit. Yes, she ended Nicki Minaj seven-year streak but Nicki deserved every single one. Don’t @ me! Yes, Remy had a lot of issues going on positive and negative with her career along with personal life but I feel as though B.E.T knew that and handed her a sympathy award! “Aw boo you did something since you got out and Nicki not here so……here you go” that is what I think happen when the picks happen. Does she deserve a round of applause? Yes, she does and I gave her that when her and Fat Joe made that little song. Now as for this:

“Y’all b*tches got fat while we starved. Shots in your ass, pads in your bras. Y’all some liars; it ain’t no facts in your songs. And, yeah, that crown is coming back to the Bronx.” – Remy Ma (Spaghetti)

You can’t talk mess when the video you released months ago has a smaller amount of views then your “competitor” who’s video was released months and has surpassed your views tremendously! I’m sorry you just can’t do it! Yes, Remy can rap! But her time has passed due to her being locked up….bad things happen to good people but time goes on! All the artist that Remy was with during her time had their hits and have pressed on with life. She needs to do the same….not saying she can’t make music. But the music beef….DEAD IT!!! That’s just me! But I dig her music from back in the day from time to time. Oh and Nicki wasn’t there but you…..oh ok.

It has happened to all of us in some way, shape or form! Even for this blogger, it has happened and at times still, does. Being fearful of your goals when you get to them or working towards them. It is not a negative thing it is just you being a tad bit self-conscious in a goal abiding way. Just follow me! You’ll understand by the end of this.

The Problem!

You: Well….what is my problem, Travis?

Me: Well….I’ll tell you because I gots love for you!

If you are in a panic state….CALM DOWN!!!! It is a problem many people face if not all. The problem is not you can’t accomplish your goals the problem could be one or more of these components:

Lack of motivation: Which can happen all the time or from time to time! “I don’t wanna!”

Fear of completion: That you’ll work and nothing will come out of it

Getting to the goal and not know what to do next: Yay you did it! But what is next?

Not understanding your goal: Do you know what is going on?

Those are some of the main goal fearing components that I see in this day and age along with my GENERATION! Those negative components go with all goals not just those big goals of a promotion at work or improvements of your finances. It could be anything such as you wanting to gain some weight (me) or creating/furthering your small business. Goals are goals no matter how big or small some are easily accomplished while others aren’t and that is just how it is! Just do not and I repeat do not fear those goals be prepared for those goals and grow/accomplish those goals folks! So with every problem, there is a solution so let’s get to those!

Problem Solving!

You: So what is my solution to my problem?

Me: Now, you are asking the real questions! You hold the solution I am just going to bring it out of you.

Since you’re calm now we can now figure out what to do about our goal fears! It’ll be hard at first but I have total confidence in you. So with those four I gave a few words ago here is the solution to them:

Find what truly motivates you: Maybe it’s the money or the passion that you have for that goal. Use that energy of DREAMING to DOING!

Work is work: You may think that work is in vein but little do you know you probably done set yourself up for something bigger and better.

Let’s not think of what is next: Let’s think about how you are going to grow that goal once you accomplish it! Completion = A Seed!

Understanding what it takes: All goals have a process you need to understand your process and ADJUST!

After reading this you have no excuse for being fearful of your goals! Goals are positive and not negative! It may take some time to achieve a goal but you can accomplish it. No goal is too big nor too small! Your goals are your goals and no one else’s only you can achieve em!