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Information for Parents

Starting college is a time of transition for both the student and the parent. The
student is adjusting to increasing independence, while the parent is adjusting to
decreased involvement in their student's life. This transition involves changing the
relationship from adult-child to adult-adult. Below are some suggestions that may
help you negotiate this process.

Transitioning to an Adult-Adult Relationship

To keep communication open, it may be helpful to...

Stay in touch

Show interest

Be a good listener

Keep an open mind

Be encouraging

Stay informed by...

Understanding the campus resources that are available for your student and encouraging
your student to take advantage of these resources.

It may be necessary to become more involved when sad telephone calls home outnumber
the other calls.

It is reasonable to become concerned about your student if he/she

experiences significant weight gain/loss

experiences frequent illnesses

experiences excessive fatigue

changes behavior or appearance

talks of hopelessness or lack of purpose

If you become concerned, please contact the University Counseling Center or one of
the other resources available on campus.

Coping with your Student leaving for College

Ambivalence is normal.

Feel the emotions. Disregarding our feelings is not helpful or healthy.

Pay attention to keeping yourself active and healthy.

Recognize the importance of your child going to college and becoming independent.

Discussing Spring Break with your Student

1. Safety First.

2. Traveling in Pairs

Talk to your student about how to travel safely. Ideas such as having money ready
for taxicabs, carrying health insurance information and never travelling alone are
helpful.

3. Using a tour company

If your student is using a tour company, ask to see the promotional materials that
helped your college student decide on this particular trip/company. Make sure that
the company is reputable. You may not want to use a tour company that encourages alcohol
consumption in order to influence students' decisions.

4. Get information.

Gather contact information for the hotel(s) in which they will be staying as well
as cell numbers for their friends.

5. Set limits regarding alcohol consumption.

Talk about the acceptable use and the limits of alcohol intake.

Make sure they know the signs of alcohol poisoning in order to protect themselves
and their peers.

Make sure that your student understands the use of alcohol and its dehydrating effects.

If your student is under the legal drinking age, make sure that their spring break
destination has the same drinking age limits as at home. Some international destinations
allow students as young as 18 to legally purchase alcohol.

6. Other suggestions.

Offer to cover the cost for them to participate with an alternative spring break program.

Source: A Matter of Degree: The National Effort to Reduce High Risk Drinking Among College
Students

Discussing Alcohol Consumption with your Student

1. Communicate Clearly

Anticipate potential situations to which your student may be exposed. Role play or
discuss strategies that will enable your student to deal with these situations. For
instance, "You're at a party, and the person who drove you to the party has been drinking.
What will you do?"

Listen carefully to your student's thoughts and feelings

Lecturing is not generally helpful.

2. Communicate academic expectations.

Clearly communicate your expectations regarding academic performance. Be prepared
to initiate this discussion face to face and not over the telephone. Research studies
indicate that partying may contribute as much to a student's decline in grades as
difficulty with academic work.

3. Communicate alcohol facts.

Students must know that alcohol is toxic and too much consumption can be fatal. This
means that engaging in drinking games, dares/bets, etc. can be dangerous. You do not
need to exaggerate. Let the facts speak for themselves on this one.

4. Take a firm stance.

Let your student know that it is OK to intervene when a friend is in trouble with
alcohol.

Students must know that it is acceptable to stand up for a safe campus environment.
Students who do not drink are at times affected by those who do. Tell your student
to talk to the offender or to their residence hall manager.

5. Know about alcohol consumption on campus.

Talk to your student about alcohol consumption. Often times, students exaggerate their
peers' use of alcohol. They tend to act on what they perceive to be the norm. Make
this an ongoing discussion as opposed to a one-time lecture. Look for and create "teachable
moments," by using TV news or newspaper articles that deal with substance use.

6. Avoid normalizing inappropriate alcohol consumption.

Avoid telling tales of drinking exploits from your own college years. Entertaining
students with stories of drinking back "in the good old days" normalizes what, even
then, was abnormal behavior.

Avoid contradictions between your words and actions.

7. Encourage volunteerism.

Encourage your student to volunteer in the community. Volunteerism not only structures
free time but also provides students with a chance to develop skills and gain valuable
experience.

8. Clarify that alcohol must be used legally and responsibly.

Make it clear that under age alcohol consumption and alcohol impaired driving is against
the law.

Make it clear that if your student is of age and does drink, he/she should be a positive
role model in the responsible use of alcohol.

9. If your student does become intoxicated ...

Don't attempt to talk to your student while he/she is under the influence of alcohol
or other drugs. Wait until the next day.

If you are concerned about the immediate health of your student, get medical help
immediately.