When the city's thermometer reads 105 and the humidity is 99% and the heat not only beats down on you, but throbs up from the asphalt and out from the buildings, shorts are the only sensible thing to wear.

So there.

(you know this, Madame. You've been in Philadelphia and New York when those lovely Bermuda Highs came calling in July and August)

Men wear shorts under the fantasy that women are as interested in legs as men are. The first comment I received from a young lady about my legs only confirmed the fact. My wife of 23 years who said, "you're losing your muscle tone" reinforced the delusion.

My wife married me for reasons other than my muscle tone but I still dig my wife in a skirt.

Big Boy Pants are stylish on grown men now. That is a good sign. Men who wore Shorts were originally the British Military in the tropics who went madly out in the noonday sun. We called them Bermuda Shorts and laughed saying where else but on a golf course are men allowed to dress like clowns.

I agree with Tom ford. People are way too casual in cities. Cities demand the respect of their inhabitants. On our way to Paris for 5 weeks in June and already deciding what we need for daily wear so that we don't look like rubes, feel comfortable and fit in, in a relaxed way.

In south and central america it is quite interesting; you very rarely see men in shorts, even in the very hot climates. Obviously it's cultural, but I appreciate the formality.

It's funny, today some of my students were talking about men in shorts. One of the young women said "I think shorts make men look like little kids!" and the other women in the conversation agreed. And I knew, wherever you were today, Althouse, that you were smiling.

Another sartorial sacrilege is men wearing tank tops in the city. The Puerto Rican and Dominican men have done it for years (complete with a terry cloth sweat towel draped over one shoulder) but in the last few years the hipsters in Williamsburg took a fancy to the style. But of course, the hipsters have to maximize ugliness and vulgarity, so only the hipster boys with the smelliest, hairiest armpits wear sleeveless shirts. I'm as much of an admirer of natural, unshaven human bodies as ironrails (well, except I like hairy men) but there's a time and place for everything. I don't want to look at someone's matted, damp armpit hair 5 inches from my face in the subway in August.

And of course, the wearing of flip-flops (or Zoris as my grandmother called them) in New York Freakin' City is just repulsive. Again, hairy, dirty toes are just grotesque when forced upon one in the subway or, worse, a restaurant.

One thing prized by white people is making the most of situations. They like to maximize opportunities for all that they are worth. It applies to jobs, vacations, investments, books, education, and perhaps most importantly, warm days.

After a prolonged cold snap, white people are very excited at the first hint of a warm day. It is their opportunity to go back outside, to enjoy nature and thrive.

In order to get the most possible enjoyment out of these days, white people turn to one of their most trusted allies: shorts.

It is a known fact that white people believe that they can bring spring early by wearing a pair of shorts on any day that is above seasonal temperatures. This myth runs so deep that they will often wear shorts the following day when temperatures drop, at which point they will refuse to recognize that it is cold.

When you encounter a cold white person in shorts it’s best to say “I can’t wait until it’s warm enough to go windsurfing.” They will likely give you a high five.

I love the sinewy tautness of a man's forearms, especially in the way they tense their biceps, and no matter how old, you can still feel raw strength in them. Or how about the cascade of curly hair that goes down from their collarbone to their nether regions: a treasure map with an interestingly-placed 'X' as your prize.

Yes. A man's body is a machine, with each part playing a very specific, and oft-satisfying role.

But the undulations, crevices and mounds of a woman's body -- well, you look at it and there is no way you doubt that there is God.

1. You should put on the best version of yourself when you go out in the world because that is a show of respect to the other people around you.

Completely agree. If I may be frank, the reason foreigners often doesn't take Americans seriously, is that they shamble along the corridors of the world in shorts and ripped tees. Sure, they have a wad of benjies that could choke a horse in the pocket of those shorts, but no one wants to be ruled by a schlepp.

Also, and this goes to no one nationality in particular, tidy up your house before receiving visitors. That "lived in" look is really saying you don't think the person is important enough to merit your effort.

Long pants are stupid and men should never wear them so long as the temperature is above 20F. In San Diego, it's common to see right thinking men wearing shorts and a jacket when it's "cold" (55F). Shorts let you bend your legs any way without catching pant knees and causing wardrobe malfunctions around the waist. Shins are cheaper to clean than pants. Lots of guy stuff (motor oil, sharpie, paint, blood) is essentially impossible to remove from pants but is guaranteed to come off shins within 45 days. Nobody cares if you scratch your shins up walking through roses, climbing a fence, slamming yourself against concrete, or doing any other normal guy things. But if you walk around in shredded pants, the same people who complain about shorts will complain even more. It's impossible to scratch an itchy knee while wearing pants.

In San Diego, it's common to see right thinking men wearing shorts and a jacket when it's "cold" (55F).

You know, the first thing I think when I see men (or women) wearing shorts in unseasonal weather: do they have eczema? I heard that cold weather exascerbates the condition, but long pants irritate the skin.

There's no stopping some men from wearing shorts.The worst is to be stuck on an airplane next to a guy in shorts and a wife beater tee shirt.I have no idea who this Ford person is, but I have to agree that shorts for men was a bad idea. Especially when they are in public in close quarters with innocent bystanders.

Yes vbspurs. While slamming concrete and spilling mustard are year round pastimes, its the wintertime combination desiccation of Santa Ana wind and forced air heating that makes knees itch. You don't need to have particularly bad skin to dry out in the Santa Anas.

Ann Meade and all those who comment here I need help with a sign. I will be in southern Wisconsin next weekend or the following and wanted to visit the capital with a "cleverly worded" sign (and perhaps wear my new-ish shorts).IF you remember the "protest warrior" group(s) who went to anti-war protests and carried signs that looked like they belonged but if you actually read them they were counter-protest signs.

That's what want. I need help with making a clever sign. I was thinking something like: "Union, spending your money so you don't have to." "Unions, we're so weak we have the government confiscate dues for us.""Union: Government that's bought and paid for (by you, not for you).""Purple Power: Regal colors for the regally inept"

Any suggestions....

cross posted on two threads, which is really bad form..... I guess Ann will just have to "spank" a fellow professor..... :)

Tom Ford lives in Santa Fe. Is that a "city"? New York City is certainly a city; it's part of the fucking name for Christ's sake. But Santa Fe? I think it is just fine to wear shorts in Santa Fe.

I think the Ford Short Rule only applies to cities that count pretension as part of their character. Then again, Santa Fe can be quite pretentious, even though it publicly prides itself on being non-pretentious. Oh my head is spinning!

You don't need to have particularly bad skin to dry out in the Santa Anas.

This is why one should always have that creme that Neutrogena has, that was made to soften the rough, chapped hands of Norwegian fishermen in winter. Dab that on your knees, John, and you'll be purring like a kitty.

It's impossible vbspurs to apply lotion to your knees while wearing long pants. In shorts, you can spray knees with antihistamine or pour lotion on them. And beyond the wintertime concerns, in shorts you can adjust your knee brace or your prosthetic leg. In long pants, these types of minor chores require removing the pants multiple times a day.

- "Union dues and don'ts. Too many dues, and not enough don'ts"- "There's too much 'I' in SEIU and not enough 'U'"- "What do you call a union worker who can't face reality? Employee of the Month"- "In Soviet Russia, unions picket you!"- "Unions mean never having to say you're sorry"

I wear shorts solely for hiking. Pants are a hindrance. But nobody looks good in shorts. Just like beanies. Everyone wears beanies because everyone knows that everyone looks stupid in them. I even advise women against wearing shorts because there is roughly a 2-inch grace-length of fabric between looking like a fusspot and looking like a whore. I witnessed that today downtown. A pack of girls was sauntering (do people saunter anymore? Or is sauntering a social construct?) downtown, some looked like moms and some like whores but all were in high school.

Now there's a shocker -- pillar of the fashion industry argues that men should avoid dressing down. I'm sure this is purely aesthetics and his interest in selling more expensive mens clothing has nothing to do with it. Sheesh.

I am one of the invisibles, the thousands of faceless males that serve as a backdrop for those more blessed in countenance.

Their splendor is made even greater by our bland style and inappropriate look.

My father said when he retired he was going to ride an old beat-up Schwinn with balloon tires, wearing bib overalls, high tops, a garish ball cap, and no socks. He figured that when people were having a bad day they'd see the doofus on the bike and think, 'Well at least I'm not him.'

"In south and central america it is quite interesting; you very rarely see men in shorts, even in the very hot climates. Obviously it's cultural, but I appreciate the formality."

Think about the abundant and ferocious insect life that abounds in the tropics and you'll understand the necessity of long pants. As for the heat, think about the Arabs, Berbers, Mongols. What do they know that we don't?

Shoot surfers break that rule 24/7/365. I get in conversations all the time with my brethern wave riders that real surfers wear kahkis rolled at the ankle and no shirt. Everywhere and anywhere. But that's just coastal culture far removed from the inland world of a Wisconsin.

What about mailmen? Are they not allowed to wear shorts in the city, or is this just a rule for the bourgeoisie?

Anyone whose job it is to walk around all day has pretty good legs. I worked as a mailman for about 3 summers and one Christmas season. They gave me the worst routes usually (non-union temporary worker after all), and my calves were a sight to see after a couple of months.

Personally, and I blame the fashion industry for this blight upon humanity, I'd like to see an entire ban of men wearing skinny jeans.

PLEEEASE!If you live up north, away from the coast, maybe. Here in the South, clean, pressed kacki, navy or madras shorts are always in style. Be it an outside lunch, early cocktails or on the golf course, bermuda shorts are fine.Ann, there are shorts and then there are shorts. You need to jump out of that Puritanical box.

I rarely wear shorts, even in the hottest weather. I wear a coat and tie daily despite the fact that my partners all appear to be on their way to the golf course or Home Depot. I do it partly to piss them off and partly for the reason that Ford suggests; to show a bit of respect to my family and clients. Little by little the smallest trappings of a civilized life are falling away, giving way to a sameness that never existed in the grayest of the man in the gray flannel suit era.

I say wear shorts when you want to wear shorts. If that gets you in trouble, reassess your choices or the people you with whom you deal. Now those who wear red socks with a suit just to show what iconoclasts they are should be avoided at all costs. Thongs, etc called slippers usually on Maui.