Thoughts and satire about news & politics. Check out the Archives for other great articles.

Daily Wisdom

July 31, 2006

Is Condi Rice Pregnant?

DOWNTOWN, Islamo-stan -- Jihadis all over the Arabic world sneer when they see this cartoon. They get so agitated, they can't wait to go out and burn an American or Israeli flag.

But if you watched Bill O'Reilly tonight, you might have assumed that this cartoon was a racial slur. As I told Bill in an E-mail however, Americans think of one thing when they see monkeys and African-Americans combined in a cartoon, but Muslims think of something totally different.

It is an unfortunate fact of American history that African-Americans (formerly known as "Blacks", "Negroes", or "Coloreds") have been discriminated against and ridiculed for years by "Whiteys", "Crackers" and "Honkeys".

As a result, monkeys and African-Americans in the same context summon up a very negative image in the American psyche. But if you ask a Muslim what he thinks of when you say the word "monkey", he will immediately say, "JEW"!

This is a cultural difference which seems to have been lost on Bill O'Reilly. According to Chapter 5, verse 16 of the Koran, "Allah cursed those who betrayed him and turned them into monkeys and pigs". For those of you who might not know otherwise, this is a reference to Jews and Christians. According to the Koran, Jews and Christians "betrayed" Allah and therefore he turned them into "monkeys and pigs". Jews are "monkeys", and Christians are "pigs".

Muslim children aged 5-6 are taught that Jews are monkeys and Christians are pigs. If you ask them, who are the "monkeys and pigs", they will immediately respond... "Jews and Christians!" So much for tolerance. So much for the "Religion of Peace".

But the fact remains, that this Condi cartoon does not mean what so many Americans are quick to assume that it means. Instead, it suggests that Condi is pregnant with a new "Jewish" Middle East. It suggests that Muslims should beware of Condi because the "peace plan" she intends to introduce is nothing more than a "Jewish plan". It suggests that Condi and the U.S. are pawns of the Israelis.

In fact, I'm surprised that the cartoon didn't put a pig nose on Condi. That would've cemented the slur beyond a shadow of a doubt. But no need. I'm sure that most Muslims "got it". I'm sure that most Muslims picked up on the "Jewish-monkey" slander. We owe special thanks to the Saudi-sponsored Wahhabi Madrasahs for teaching these wonderful concepts to innocent Muslim children.

"Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea." --Matthew 18:5-6

UPDATE: If you look closely at the picture of the monkey, it appears to be wearing a Yamaka as well as having a weapon slung over its shouder. 'Nuff said.

So I guess all Muslims believe there weren't any Monkeys or Pigs ,before Allah put on the curse? Funny that Monkeys and pigs are two of the most intelligent animals,next to Man. In fact,observable evidence indicates that most monkeys and pigs are much more intelligent ,than most Muslims.