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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Jen, have you ever read Tom Holt? He's a British author who's absurdly difficult to ahold of in the US, but totally worth the effort. Anyway, that last remark about having a heart-to-heart with the toaster sounds suspiciously like one of his books, "Open Sesame", in which the appliances DO talk to our heroine, to make up for her father, Ali Baba ( yes, THAT Ali Baba), not being there and...oh, read it.

First cake's a little sad...I think the baker just phoned it in....but I really like the iHAL9000 voice app.... And, thanks for the help with the "guitar" cake...it looks like a mass of exploding hemorrhoids with poo, though I couldn't imagine what occassion calls for that kind of cake. Then I thought that in keeping with today's sort of sci-fi theme it was a reference to the classic film "Destroy All Planets" and represented the destruction of Uranus.....

#4: Heh. Yeah, teach those Xboxers. That shower thing was a little harsh, though. (Shifts from foot to foot, sweat beading on forehead.

#5: HA! Whew! I totally don't have any Jersey Shore Tivoed! What? No, you cannot see what I DO have Tivoed! I swear it's all Doctor Who and Stargate Atlantis. There are absolutely NO episodes of Kitchen Nightmares or Enterprise on there, AT ALL. Honest. (looks down and to the left.

Okay, I'm here, but I have to say, I don't get the joke. These are just... puzzling... O.o ...

[Editor's note- Hi just. Honestly, it's not for everyone. You might check out the fan favorites on the right side of the page. This is one of my favorites: http://cakewrecks.com/home/2009/2/23/hey-everybody-thish-cake-ish-from-holland-ishnt-that-veird.html -john]

"Honey? I think the kids monkeyed with the bread drawer. Every time I open it, I hear "Hal instructions provide no bread until there is cake"and the drawer slams shut.""Honey, quick go buy a cupcake so I can make toast for the eggs this morning."mocking

Lister: Look, I don't want any toast, and he doesn't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. No toast.

Toaster: How 'bout a muffin?

Lister: Or muffins. Or muffins. We don't like muffins around here. We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and definitely no smegging flapjacks.

Toaster: Aah, so you're a waffle man.

--

Lister: Him being on was the cause of the accident.

Kryton: What accident?

Lister: The one involving me, the toaster, the garbage disposal and the five pound sledge.

Toaster: That wasn't an accident that was first degree toasercide!

---

Holly: [her IQ has been increased to 12,000] Strike a light! I'm a genius again! I know everything! Metaphysics, philosophy, the purpose of being-everything! Ask me a question, any question, and I'll answer it.

Talkie Toaster: Any question?

Holly: Yes.

Talkie Toaster: How to break the speed of light? How to marry quantum mechanics and classical physics? Any question at all, truly anything and you will answer?

Holly: Yes.

Talkie Toaster: OK, here's my question: Would you like some toast?

Holly: No, thank you. Now ask me another.

Talkie Toaster: Do you know anything about the use of chaos theory in predicting weather cycles?

Holly: I know everything there is to know about chaos theory and predicting weather cycles.

Talkie Toaster: Oh, very well. Here's my second question: Would you like a crumpet?

Holly: I'm a computer with an I.Q. of 12,000. You don't seem to understand; I know the meaning of the universe.

Talkie Toaster: That's not answering my question.

Holly: [irritated] No, I would not like a crumpet! Now ask me a sensible question, preferably one that isn't bread related.

Talkie Toaster: Very well. I have a third question. A sensible question. A question that will tax your new I.Q. to its very limits and stretch the sinews of you knowledge to bursting point.

Holly: This is going to be about waffles, isn't it?

Talkie Toaster: Certainly not. And I resent the implication that I'm a one-dimensional, bread-obsessed electrical appliance.

Holly: I apologise, toaster. What's the question?

Talkie Toaster: The question is this: Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite... would you like a toasted teacake?

Hmm that XBOX looks like it is growing a very bizarre crescent roll. Hmm none of those cakes look all that appealing but if my remote looked like it had poo for buttons I would never, ever watch tv again..scary wrecks lol.

Cave Johnson begins work on GLaDOS, dies of cancer, has Caroline uploaded in his place and the rest is psychotic history... Steve Jobs begins work on Siri, dies of cancer - hmm. If you need me, I'll be preparing for testing.

The Brave Little Toaster talked but not nearly as funny as Talkie apparently. Still you could be friends with the Brave Little Toaster Jen. Not only is he cute but he will save you from the evil appliances of the universe.

I spent far too many nights watching that movie when my daughter was little.

Kind of reminds me of the German comedian who wrote this book in which he talks extensively about the conversations he's had with his fridge named "Bosch". Funny stuff, but I take it you don't read German. ;-)Also, I'm equally intrigued by and scared of Siri. But if one day they manage to make an AnthroPC like, you know, on Questionable Content, I don't think I'd be able to resist. At least not if I could get one that looked like a kitten.