J.J. Abrams leads initiative to end suffering caused by midi-chlorians

Star Wars VII director J.J. Abrams is giving one lucky fan the chance to appear in the movie in an innitiative aimed at raising money to improve the lives of those affected by midi-chlorians - a small microorganism which lives in the blood.

Nothing was known of the parasitic life forms before 1999, their effects passed off as 'magic' in some superstitious communities. The discovery of midi-chlorians was devastating, causing widespread fear and disillusionment across the world.

A high midi-chlorian count is hereditary, and runs strongly within families. Though the condition can remain dormant for many years, sufferers may find themselves speaking backward, hearing voices in their head, or failing to recognise their relatives. Though many sufferers are able to live a relatively normal life and contribute to society, others become evil, in which case the only treatment is cutting off their hand or throwing them down a reactor shaft.

In its most aggressive form the microorganisms entirely consume the sufferer and they become a glowing blue spectre.

On the official movie site, Abrams announced: 'I'm proud to be able to use my position to help combat this appalling disease. With UNICEF and other health organisations, we are creating innovative solutions to help some of the Galaxy's poorest people tackle midi-chlorian related problems.'

'If we work together, we can wipe these abominations from canonical history forever.'