The funniest jokes on the net

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out England are good enough to win the Euro 2000". Snow White says “Well at least Dopey’s alive!”

Apparently, Kevin Keegan offered to send the England squad on an expenses paid holiday to Florida but they said they’d rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it’s like to ride on an open-top bus.

Keegan was caught speeding on his way to the ferry port today. “I’ll do anything for 3 points”, he said when questioned.

A man desperate at England’s current situation decides to top himself. In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the very last moment, he decides upon wearing his full England kit as his last statement. A neighbour, catching sight of the impending incident, informs the police. On arrival, the police quickly remove the England kit and dress the man in stockings and suspenders. The man, totally confused asks why. The policeman simply replies, “it’s to avoid embarrassing your family.”

British Rail have decided to start sponsoring England. BR think they are a suitable team because of their regular points failures.

Rumour has it that England have got a new sponsor: Tampax. The board thought it was an appropriate change as the team is going through a very bad period.

Q: Why aren’t the England football team allowed to own a dog?
A: Because they can’t hold on to a lead.

Q: What’s the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?
A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.

Q: What’s the difference between a packet of sellotape and Phil Neville.
A: One’s a glueless kit.

Oxo were going to bring out a Euro 2000 commemorative cube painted red, white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a laughing stock and crumbled in the box.