Captain, Reading Please

One i have finally moved forward from him and i just feel he going from my mind, then today i get a magazine and read my horoscopes , it said that your past mistake's will come back to haunt you, in the next two weeks, It has been bugging me my intuition says it will be something from him, either he is married or not lying about dying, either way it said don't feel guilty and look forward, im not perfect, no one is, i know that.

Secondly,

Im not too bothered about my love life right now, but im interested to see how i can not repeat old patterns, so i guess in a way i am.

Im not shutting my self off completely i just do believe you cant look for it and if it's meant to be it will be. Also i just feel a need for a break from it too, all the on-line stuff in last two years have me think as i know it's better choice for me to get out make new friends that's my bottom line.

I don;t really know what you are asking me in your first question. If you have really moved on, then it won't matter or affect you what you hear about your ex. But I think you are still hoping for something...

Your old patterns concern your deep need to be loved, which is so big that maybe no one person can ever satisfy it. The hole in your hole is hard to fill and your personal probelms can spill over into the rest of your life. Don't let them take over everything - you have a lot to give the world. Your childhood wasn't the best but you can still make your present and your future happy. Just because the adults didn't give you love or the wrong sort when you were young, it doesn't mean you have to go on picking losers who will hurt you. that's the pattern you have to break. Instead of looking for someone else to bring you stability and joy, do it for yourself. Put aside any feelings of shame, embarrassment, fear, self-loathing or rejection that came from your past, recognising them as things put on you by damaged adults, and stand up and just be your own lovable self. What you were taught in the past was love - was not love, so you need to learn a new way of seeing and experiencing it. It's not abuse - it's kindness, understanding, enjoyment, and unselfishness.

I just meant it was a gut intuition feeling, that past will come back to haunt me, not that im wishing for anything.. its done and yes it has took time, im the innocent one i believed him so either way that's my lesson.

I totally agree, iv always felt the need to be loved, i don't think it's that bigger hole to fill now, in past yes. A part of me feels loved now from higher power and by some my colleague/friends and i like myself now too.

One thing i have noticed with in me is my reactions emotionally, like i know in my head to leave alone if a guy is pulling away, but i react on my emotional fear of losing them.. i know rationally you should just leave em to it. I only really realised this with sp so i know, its that a abandonment issue?

Also there is the issue of separating sex from love, for me I see that in one head i like the physical but now i understand some drives from what happen as a teenager, the other head i know to i will wait if i really want a guy.. so now i see that, got great understanding.

Im talk twin heads there...

I truly didn't want to loose sp through the way we got on and just gelled together.. and i hung on for that and wanted to give him benefit of the doubt .. but part me knew something didn't add up,

we saw a lot in world the same and he did more to help me than he should if just sex.. totally pushed my buttons lik no other man has, i think some are here to help us grow.. this take a while for me, it might be blessing in disguise too.

I think it's more a fear of rejection than abandonment but that may be just halves of the same thing really. Are you really looking for an actual partner or just anyone to love you and to be in love with?

Careerwise, you are good with groups, understanding how to promote open, harmonious cooperation and doing what's best for the group as a whole. Furthering idealistic causes or humanitarian goals in which you believe are good professions or just as voluntary work. You would be good in positions that require objectivity such as scientist, astrologer, electrician, technician, computer expert, or in any occupation where the ability to see the future and bring it into the present is an asset. You would be happy with work that brings innovative ideas to the public. Work in radio or TV is another area for which you have innate talents. You are extremely creative and ready to bring enthusiasm, determination, versatility, passion and raw energy to get any job done. Sales, teaching, writing, lecturing, counselling, healing, performing and any form of creative expression that involves your ability to tune into people or involves using clear logic and reason will be good for you. You can follow a social path or you would also make a good manager. You can be successful in any field but you will feel most fulfilled if your work offers opportunities for self-expression.

Any lack of money relates in some way to self-doubt. If you use your gifts and expression positively, money follows.

Thats the one fear of rejection, what am i looking for, well im looking to go out make a social life for myself hopefully make friends outside of work, i feel that's more important for me than anything else.

I don't truly think you can look for love, but one day i would like to be liked loved for me.

Do you think you can look or it ? If it meant to be it will be

I have done caring for the elderly for years, although im good at it , i don't feel its challenging enough now, i want to have job where i feel im helping people get the best out of what they have and live a life at the most of their true ability.

Im looking to try voluntary work with learning disabilities, see how i feel in that area.

I have regained my confidence of taking charge, im a firm but fair person, iv learnt a lot how to express myself more assertive, now i can work in a team but do like to have my own space to work, have to be on the go.. i am a Arian after all he he.

I was thinking in my spare time to do some charity work too.

Captain you been a great help and thank you,

Also im a cheeky person, i don't suppose you could do a family reading pretty please?

You and your mum: neither person here cares very much to understand the other or share feelings at a very deep level. The two of you often lack an emotional, spiritual or physical connection. You do try to maintain an atmosphere of honesty between you, however, just not always one of comprehension or sympathy. You may see your mother as a bit of an unrealistic dreamer, taken up with cosmic, fantastic or new-age pursuits, while she may see you as being involved in many messy interpersonal and idealistic endeavours that don't enhance your personal growth. You may not respect the way she can periodically sink into lethargy or self-pity and be unable to advance her own cause. You might try to become closer to her emotionally. The two you should be careful not to compare each other to other people too unfavourably.

You and your dad: your dad needs privacy and you need to surround yourself with people, so that your shared dealings with others may be a large issue. Thus, it will be difficult for you two to live together and make decisions about how your home is to be used by yourselves and others. But you Scully can have problems reaching the richer levels of feeling and your dad can help you with this, since he is a master at living life more deeply. He can help you discover hidden and neglected parts of your psyche just by insisting you talk about how you feel. He can also give you the sympathy and emotional acceptance you need when you are misunderstood by your latest friend or lover. So try and settle your differences as this can be a very beneficial relationship.

You and your younger brother: this relationship is dominated by your shared fiery qualities and is striking in its intensity of feeling and energy. You are both dauntless and courageous types, making you good companions in challenging adventures, and protective siblings. You Scully will tend to have the higher and more consistent energy level however, while your brother is prone to fluctuations of energy and mood. If he gets into a depressive phase, he can create conflict with you. You won't like hearing his complaints and will become angry or frustrated at being worn down by his excessive negativity at these times. He in turn may find you less than sympathetic to his emotionalism. You will listen to him, think about and discuss his problems, but may never really empathize. Thus he can think you misunderstand him. Try to have more patience and understanding with him.

You and your older brother: the success of this relationship will usually depend on whether effective leadership and direction can be established within it. Your brother has an erratic and idiosyncratic side that will not suit you, particularly when you need stability from him. You can have fixed moral ideas that your brother will find hard to live up to. If you are engaged in a project together, you being the hard-working single-minded leader-type will not always be understanding when he decides he has had enough in mid-stream. You two can trigger each other emotionally and are likely to experience more than your fair share of combat and conflict, which is likely to upset the family group. Yet there is also a strange loyalty here, whcih will unite you against danger and threat. This relationship works best when you don't demand deep feeling or daily interaction and contact with each other.

My mother i agree, i don't always get living in the past, yes i know she went through a lot and was abused by her uncle as well as her sister.

I will not ever again go on holes with her.. just laz around not me.

She tries to compensated now since my sister passing by using money to help to make up for the lost time, it don't wash with me. Im sick of her emotion blackmail and nothings her fault.

My dad i dont have any differences we have always got on good, there are times when i feel he be little me, i know his view way is a lot like mine, ive always gone to him more for guidance, and know i will look to him help with my physic side.. ive always felt closer to his side of the family.. My nan his mum came through on a first physic reading's i ever had.

Younger bruv, well we see some as different but we get on , not really see each other much now.. i was a horrid bitch to him in teenage time, i just think he selfish at times and he mums boy.. always was her favourite.

Older bruv, this is complex.. we where always there, he had a horiibal mother who really didnt want him.. dad got custody.. we grew up well always there for me, i know i could phone him hed help.. but we seem a bit seperate now,, getting on with our liv

Your sister had a deep feeling of not being appreciated for how much she did for others or what she sacrificed. She also couldn't stand to feel that life had passed her by or that she was just a forgotten has-been. She could be very secretive and would give in to every temptation, seduction and distraction that would allow her to flee the daily grind of life which she found so hard to cope with.

You and she were on a common wavelength so your relationship would have been a successful one. You would have been fascinated by her talents and abilities and may have been a stable, protective force for her. But she was an unconventional free spirit who hated to be tied down. You can be impulsive or impetuous on occasion too but she would have surpassed you, with her lightning-quick mind and movements. She may have had several close personal relationships going on away from home. You however tend to be monogamous (unless really unhappy) and may not have understood her behaviour. Wide gaps may have appeared in your relationship if your sister realized she was not really as social or in need of human contact as she thought she was. Your needs and wants would have been very different to each other so understanding and empathy may have been difficult.

You have to stop being so self-conscious, and get interested in other people. Don't turn so far inward that you succumb to an unending emotional orgy of self-examination that leaves you ashamed or embarrassed to even leave the house. Stop over-thinking and get out there and mingle! When you focus more on others than on your own perceived shortcomings, people will be grateful and attracted to you. You must learn how to relate better socially. Find healthy outlets for your frustrations (like exercise or sport) and interact with others regularly and dynamically. Aim for realistic and achievable goals.

I ta the lazy eye people at time i notice how they look, times i could give a toss. others i can like my balance i wobble but that me.. and don't some judge on looks, hey i have lazy eye you dont like ,then that your deal.... that has been some part of y life.. ive have almost gained enough again as a child, to have the mental believe it them with problem, not me.

Just been thinking today of a feel to look into counselling as a possibly career move.. just look at what you need in qualifications.

I looked back and you had put that on my list of what i could do.. strange cause had that feel today, as we moving forward in ones life.. The worry i had im used to been on the move physically.. i could balance that with outside work activities couldn't i

I know that sometimes we get so focused on our own problems that they seem too huge to solve. But by helping others, it puts our own lives in perspective and we realize that there are people far worse off than us. I think counselling would benefit both you and those you help.