Jane Lynch and Lara Embry to Divorce

Glee star Jane Lynch and her wife, Dr. Lara Embry, are getting a divorce, the actress tells PEOPLE exclusively.

"Lara and I have decided to end our marriage. This has been a difficult decision for us as we care very deeply about one another. We ask for privacy as we deal with this family matter," Lynch says in a statement.

Lynch, 52, and Embry, 44, met at a 2009 fundraiser in San Francisco at which Embry was being honored. Shortly after confirming their engagement, the women married on Memorial Day in 2010 in an intimate ceremony in Sunderland, Mass., one of the few states where gay marriage is recognized.

The wedding was attended by 19 friends and family including Embry's daughter, Haden, with whom Lynch has gotten very close.

"My greatest pleasure is Haden, my stepdaughter," Lynch told PEOPLE at The Moms Mamarazzi event in New York City last March. "I am surprised how much love you feel and how you would do anything for your children."

Lynch, who is currently starring as Miss Hannigan in Annie: The Musical, performed at the Tony Awards in New York City Sunday.