Thursday, January 5, 2012

Time is Short: Be Present Now

Normally I spend some time critiquing the latest attack on women or LGBT people in the media. And I am quite happy that Michele Bachmann has left the race for President and could certainly blog about that for hours. However, a colleague of mine died right before Christmas, out of the blue, and I am really trying to honor who she was by living more in the moment. This is always a challenge for me. For those who know me well, I like to plan. I like to make lists. I constantly make lists. I keep some for months at a time as I try to get to that one item that hasn't risen to the top, like getting our passport pictures taken. I have the forms all filled out with our old passports in a nice file in the kitchen, but to actually make it to the CVS, looking presentable, hasn't happened.

So for Louise, a woman who was the most professional, moral and non-judgmental person I have probably ever met, I vow to live life moment to moment. This, of course, is a constant challenge but striving for it alone is a Zen-like journey. I will begin to let go of what I want to do when I grow up, let go of my dreams of being a university professor, let go of my dreams to teach theatre, and just be here now.

Living moment to moment does not curtail one from setting goals and accomplishing them, but it enables us to take more joy in the here and now. When I did my yoga teacher training I learned that of all the thoughts we have every day (thousands of them), somewhere around 80% of them are about the past. About the things we cannot change.

And in those moments of anger, frustration, traffic, people who annoy you, it is easy to go someplace else, mentally at least, and not be there in the moment. It's hard work and not anything I expect to come easy, especially to Juli "the dreamer" Parker. But for Louise, this vow I take in your memory. I can only hope that somewhere you have been reincarnated into a cat or a dog who lives with a loving owner just like you were.