Lieutenant colonel Brian Christmas should lighten up. He says that blasting Taliban with Metal is “inappropriate”.

On the contrary Sir. Heavy Metal IS a weapon and should be used as such. It aggregates the seething frustrations of disaffected youth (see Kill ’em All by Metallica, 1983) and concentrates it in a beam of sound so fierce and disturbing to medieval ears that “insurgents lay down their arms”.

I suppose liquifying Taliban into pink mist with 30mm cannons from the comfort of a gunship would be more appropriate?

The U.S. Military is spending billions developping invisibility suits, long range stun guns, ground based lasers, everything and anything to neutralize the enemy from a distance and yet they turn their backs on the most pottent weapon of all: Teen Angst!

I’ve got a bee in my bonnet about the democritization of art brought about by the internet…even as it gives me an outlet that 15 years ago was barely imaginable. And I mean barely as my bandmates and I, having just seen Netscape Navigator for the first time in 1994 on an Intel 486i with 500 MB of storage, could only DREAM of the day that one could transfer a whole album to a computer without taking up the entirehard drive.

Google and Blogs have slaughtered traditional media. Everyone is a journalist now, or a critic, a filmmaker, a musician…this can all too easily be interpreted as a 21st Century cultural Renaissance but there are inherit dangers to this digital emancipation. (more…)

I first saw Steel Panther a few months back while watching Much Loud… a torture that I submit myself at least two or three times a week.. I like to think of it as tuning into what the kids are listening but then I’m not so sure that Much Loud is such an accurate barometer. My 16 year old nephew doesn’t watch Much Loud and neither do any of his friends.. instead they find obscure technical metal bands online and share them through Crackbook.

In any case I couldn’t believe how bad Steel Panther is.. and it wasn’t until I looked them up on Wikipedia that I realized they are a parody.. Trouble is I don’t see the joke.. Whereas Spinal Tap was clearly a well-timed parody of the excess of the day, Steel Panther is virtually indistinguishable from 80s hair bands.. that’s why I couldn’t believe that such a band was just now making a go at it. They just looked too real. Their wardrobe and makeup and hair is all authentic. Their lyrics push a bit further than the bands they mock but certainly don’t offend me any more than what Nickelback has been spewing of late.

All in all it solidifies my deeply held belief that Rock music as a unifying social force is dead. And no thanks to Rock Band and Guitar Hero either. While some might rejoice that kids are being exposed to “the real deal” I’m afraid what they retain is the Spinal Tappian portrayal of the Rock and Roll lifestyle. The Avatars you get to choose from are nothing but reasonably drawn facsimiles of Kurt Cobain, David Lee Roth, Robert Smith, Longhaired and sleeved metal heads or punks with towering spikes…

Steel Panther might as well claim that they are Rock Band/Guitar Hero Avatars made flesh through some mystical techno-wizardry reminicent of John Hugh’s Weird Science. That there is a market for this crap is utterly depressing..