Sunday, December 25, 2011

Best M&M Cookies Ever

Once upon a time, there was a little elf named Yammie. On Christmas Eve night, she made cranberry relish and cheesey potatoes until midnight, because she was a good little elf. Then the little elf had to go wake up Mrs. Claus who had accidentally fallen asleep before putting presents under the tree for all the little children in the house. The little elf did most of the work anyways though. She did a very good job.

Okay, okay. Enough with the third person. It's probably starting to freak you out. Along with the fact that I'm referring to myself as an elf. Sorry, I'm a little weird.

Really though, I love putting the presents under the tree. And I love giving everyone my gifts for them. And I love opening my gifts. CHRISTMAS IS JUST SO FUN. And I don't think I'm allergic to it anymore. Christmas I mean. Member how I was telling you my neck was all itchy from Christmas? Well, I think it was actually just my new perfume (which I LOVE). So it's all cool. I just only put it on my wrists now.

Anywho, here's the aftermath....

We had Grandma and Grandpa over for lunch today. We had a big, fat, juicy prime rib, a honey glazed ham, homemade herbed rolls, roasted rosemary and garlic carrots, cranberry relish, cheesey potatoes, and sparkling cider. For dessert I made my raspberry dark chocolate truffle torte as one big, three-layer cake and Nemo made homemade coconut ice cream. We also had coffee with Bailey's Irish Cream in it. YUMMAY!

Look. I decorated it with three red m&ms and some holly leaves. I'm so cool.

Right after dessert, we surprised the kiddos with a packed car, ready to carry them to Gramps and Beanie's where they would find dozens of cousins to show all their new toys to. We didn't even clean the dessert dishes. They're just sitting at home getting all crusty. But WHO CARES. If anything, it will just make the ants happy. And I'm all for spreading Christmas cheer. Even to the smallest of creatures.

So we headed up North. I drove the whole three and a half hours. I wouldn't let anybody else drive. I'm not a control freak at alllllll. It's not like I totally hijacked Santa's job and wouldn't let anybody else help make Christmas dinner or anything. Nope.

Anyways, after that humungo meal, I was happy to just sit up in the front of the Skidster, burping contentedly all the way and thinking I would never eat ever, ever again.

Until we got up here and there was lobster with melted butter and steak and shrimp and a HUGE bowl of all kinds of fruits and a KADRILLION AND A HALF desserts.

Somebody is going to be fat. I'll give you a hint, she's the person who made these cookies.

Best cookies I have ever made. I am not kidding at all. They are the chewiest, tastiest, most beautiful creatures you will ever meet. The edges are crispy and brown, but the center never ever stops being chewy.

See. That's the next day. STILL CHEWY.

Here are the secrets:

1. Browned butter- for flavor

2. Cream cheese- for flavor and structure

3. Corn starch- for texture. Adding some cornstarch to all-purpose flour is easier to me than buying an expensive little box of cake flour and it works the same.

4. Bread flour- for structure.

5. Refrigerate the dough first. Then you just have to plop em on the sheets in big tall chunks.

WARNING: I MIGHT HAVE WRITTEN THE RECIPE DOWN WRONG ACCIDENTALLY. I HAVE HAD MANY UNSATISFIED COMMENTS. BAKE AT YOUR OWN RISK. FOR A TRULY FOOLPROOF RECIPE, CLICK ON THE IMAGE ABOVE OR RIGHT HERE. I'm sorry.

Beat together the butter, cream cheese, and sugars for about five minutes or until smooth. Add in the vanilla and egg and beat until well combined.
Sift together the flours, starch, salt, and soda. Add to the butter mixture and mix until well combined. Fold in the m&ms, chocolate chips, and nuts. Refrigerate until chilled all the way through. They're better the longer you refrigerate them, but if you're in a hurry, throw them in the freezer for 20 minutes until they're chilled through.
Place chunks on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake at 375º for about 9 minutes or until the edges are golden brown.

*Just do it in a saucepan on the stove on medium high heat. It will get really foamy right before it starts getting brown. Don't let it burn though or it will be GROSS

Now, don't forget the true meaning of Christmas, children. It's all about Jesus coming into the world to become one of us and die for all of our sins, opening the way to everlasting life.