A recession can be decidedly unsexy: The stress of making ends meet isn't exactly an aphrodisiac. Take my friend M, a work-at-home freelancer, whose sex life took a nosedive after the Dow crashed. When her live-in boyfriend lost his job, they were forced into spending 24/7 together in their tiny apartment, and their collective anxiety about paying the bills effectively crushed her desire. "It's nearly impossible to get in the mood when I'm worried about paying the rent," she laments.

Nodding in agreement? So are the 36 percent of women who reported in a Self.com poll that they're having less sex since the recession officially began in December 2007. "Often, partners feel angry or resentful, perhaps blaming each other for making a poor investment or career choice that wouldn't cause as much friction in more robust times," explains Jane Greer, Ph.D., a marriage counselor in New York City. "It can be hard to be intimate when there are unresolved negative emotions." Many couples are putting a moratorium on expanding their family, as well: The birth rate in America dropped 3 percent between 2007 and 2008, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. And last year, contraceptives sales were up 40 percent from 2008, The Nielsen Company, a global information and media company, reports; condom sales during the same period increased 4 percent.

As with any setback, however, there are ways to turn this bust into a boom. In fact, a full 26 percent of women in the Self.com poll copped to bumping and grinding more since the recession began (39 percent are having the same amount). Our point: Someone's doing it, so it might as well be you. Tough times offer a unique opportunity to invest in your love life: "Financial hardship can inspire a renewed sense of teamwork in your relationship," Greer says. "Getting through this mess together can bring you closer, emotionally and physically." Not to mention that at a cost of zero dollars, sex is the best bargain going when it comes to relaxing and recharging. Need some incentive? Here are three very seductive reasons to get frisky when you're strapped for cash. Think of this advice as your own sexual stimulus package!

Love your honey, save some money

Mounting bills may not seem like an obvious impetus to get busy—your reluctance to shelve your expensive shoe habit coupled with his unwillingness to cancel his beer-of-the-month club can trigger some serious clashes. But if you resolve to approach cutbacks with an adventuresome spirit, overturning your spending style can lead to liberation between the sheets. "Whenever you shake up your regular routine, it introduces novelty into your relationship, which is a big turn-on," explains Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., sex therapist and founder of MyPleasure.com.

Take a cue from L, 23, a graduate student at the University of New Hampshire in Durham, and her boyfriend, who canceled a costly cable subscription to free up some cash and found themselves starring in their own real-life, red-hot romance. "Rather than sit on the couch and mindlessly watch TV, we'll start fooling around," she says. "The more you do it, the more you improve and the more willing you are to try new things." Sex serves as a welcome distraction from the reality of her potentially bleak employment prospects post-school. "I hope that by the time I graduate, the job market will be better," she says. "But when I'm doing it, I'm not obsessing about money. It's like taking a little vacation from those concerns."

Newly married C, 30, of New York City, also benefited when the stock market imploded: She works from home and braced for the worst when her husband's job was scaled back to part-time. But his spending more time at home and less at the office has been a boon for their sex life. "When we used to work late or socialize nearly every night, we'd come home too exhausted for sex," she says. Now, because the pace of their careers has been less demanding, "we're shattering our old patterns, doing it whenever and however we want—not necessarily at night or in bed," C enthuses. The bottom line: Living on less can force a much-needed change that you weren't motivated to undertake in more flush times.

Financial strain can also spur you to replace pricey romantic gestures with cheap but gratifying thrills. An actual dinner and a movie can run you upwards of $100, but for a fraction of that, you can enjoy an equally satisfying "dinner and a movie" (wink, wink) thanks to the burgeoning sex-toy industry. Plenty of people are buying: Vibrator sales at Jimmyjane, a sex-toy company in San Francisco, went up 50 percent between 2008 and 2009, according to founder and chief creative officer Ethan Imboden. It's a trend that's being seen across the industry: "Business is up by double digits," asserts Katy Zvolerin, director of publicity for adult retailer Adam & Eve in Hillsborough, North Carolina. "We think it's because people are staying home more, and they're looking for inexpensive, new ways to entertain themselves." With a wide variety of cost-effective options, such as the popular $10 pocket rocket, available in major chain stores, sex toys are truly democratic—even Walmart sells vibrators!

What's more, the increase in sales could be an indication that couples are more committed to bringing each other genuine pleasure any way possible. "Experimenting together with a new vibrator is another way to show how much you care about each other's satisfaction," says Catherine Birndorf, M.D., SELF's contributing mental health expert and associate professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical Center in New York City. Whether you're trying out a snazzy toy or exchanging more homespun, sweet gestures (foot rubs, cooking a favorite meal), the recession is prompting couples to be more thoughtful and economical about how they express their love. Being required to invest more time and energy in these tokens of affection (and not simply swipe your credit card to buy a gift) makes them infinitely more meaningful.

Knock boots, bolster your bond

When you're stressed about losing your job and watching your retirement savings dwindle, it's easy to feel disconnected from your partner—the time you used to spend locking lips may now be spent crunching numbers. Also, "A failing economy can make people feel out of control and despondent," Greer explains. K, a stay-at-home mother of two in New Jersey, has felt particularly detached from her husband, who has had to be at the office around the clock since his company laid off other employees. "There have been many more late nights and business trips, which wears on both of us," she explains. "Sometimes it feels as if we're living separate lives." Although both parties are undoubtedly busy, squeezing a little nooky into their schedule can provide the sort of intimacy they so desperately need to sustain the relationship. "When couples can't spend a lot of time together, sex is a fairly quick way to connect and feel closer," Dr. Birndorf says. "The key is to make it a priority—put sex closer to the top of your list!"

Not in a committed relationship? Now is a prime time to look for love. Since the financial crisis struck, dating sites such as PerfectMatch.com and Match.com have seen significant upticks in membership compared with the previous year—50 percent and 10 percent, respectively. "It's proof that when people are facing challenges, they don't want to do it alone," says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., professor of sociology at the University of Washington at Seattle. "They want to be able to rely on that emotional and sexual connection during tough times." Offline matchmaking agencies are having a banner year, too. "People are reprioritizing and putting their personal life on the front burner," says Lisa Clampitt, president of Club VIP Life, a high-end personalized matchmaking agency in New York City. "From what my clients tell me, the attitude now is that money comes and goes, but a partner, someone to share your life with, is what matters."

Perhaps historians will refer to this period not as the Great Recession, but as the Great Reprioritizing. We will define ourselves by our values and personal connections, not by our incomes and number of flat-screen TVs. "The recession has given people a great opportunity to reevaluate what they want out of life," Gardos says.

J, a 39-year-old single woman, reassessed her priorities after she was laid off: "I was completely focused on my job for years—always stressed out, working late at night and on the weekends," she says. "I'd let my personal life slide—for a decade—for my professional life." When the company she worked at went under, J reconsidered her career-driven lifestyle and, craving more balance, began to socialize more. "Of course, that's when I started to meet people. I visited a friend who manages a restaurant I'd never had time to swing by before and met an adorable guy at the bar," she says. "In my previous life, I wouldn't hang out at a bar with my girlfriends or have the energy to flirt!"

The recession may also increase the pool of men whom single women find desirable simply because we'll be more open-minded about our checklist of must-haves. A survey conducted by Zoosk.com, an online social dating community, reveals that women have reconsidered previously nonnegotiable requirements in a partner: Fifty-two percent of respondents, the majority of whom were under the age of 40, were OK with "unemployed" prospects; 67 percent would date a guy who lives with his parents; and 89 percent were "turned on" by the idea of a free-activity date. Two years ago, would any single woman be interested in even going for a walk with a jobless dude who sleeps on a futon in his mother's garage? Well, she is now. It's more evidence that women are looking for emotional—not financial—security from partners.

"We're all in the same boat, so it seems wrong to judge someone based on his income or job," says J, who used to cruise Ivy League grads–only site RightStuffDating.com. Lately, J has been more inclusive, trying more egalitarian dating sites and even speed-dating. Unattached women who are out of work or have temporary gigs have more time to peruse dating sites. Plus, online sites are a bargain when you compare the cost of a month's membership with one night out at a bar buying overpriced cocktails. A 30-day trial at Match.com is only $35—and a mere $7 a month at Nerve.com—during which time you can check out thousands of potential dates without leaving the comfort of your couch.

Shag more, stress less

Still not sold on the benefits of romping through a downturn? Then consider the purely physiological benefits of getting it on: The orgasm is Mother Nature's happy drug. "Sex makes you feel good because of the short-term reduction of blood pressure and the release of endorphins," says Sari Locker, Ph.D., author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex (Alpha Books). The positive impact a tryst has on your brain chemistry can relieve tension and lift your spirits. I mentioned all this to M and urged her to get busy. She laughed and said, "You can't force yourself to get in the mood." True. So experts advise easing back in, instead. Make a more concerted effort to affectionately touch each other—even something as innocent as holding hands while watching TV. Locker recommends giving a low-pressure massage or simply lying down and hugging. (Yes, even hugging lowers blood pressure!)

Once your motors are running, try to pace yourselves, Schwartz advises: "Make eye contact, kiss, spend a lot of time on foreplay," she says. "Really pay attention to each other. Concentrate on every touch and movement." Tuning in to the intimate act itself trains the mind to focus on what you're doing, as opposed to what you're not doing (e.g., paying the bills, job hunting). A mental respite from worry can be as refreshing and restorative as the hormonal release of an orgasm.

A week later, I heard from M. She sounded less stressed, and I asked if her honey had found a job. "No, but since my conversation with you, we've started to have sex again," she told me. "I'm still totally stressed about money. But better to be freaked out and satisfied versus freaked out and frustrated." The secret to preventing financial stress from coming between you and his Calvins: "You have to compartmentalize your worries," Dr. Birndorf says. "Once you step inside the bedroom, banish thoughts of bills."

I asked about M's boyfriend's state of mind. She said, "Of course, he's happier now that we're spending more time in bed. His attitude about the job search seems better, too. I bet none of your experts said having regular sex might be an advantage at interviews." Actually, they all did. Sex elevates mood, and an interviewer is naturally inclined to hire someone who comes across as happy and relaxed. You read it here first: You can sleep your way to gainful employment!

At the end of the day—and the end of the recession—it comes down to what we've always known: Money isn't a good way to measure satisfaction in life or relationships. Even if you're struggling to make ends meet, you can still, er, make other ends meet for a big-time payoff. And a passion-filled life will have you coming out ahead on any balance sheet.