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How Sex Tourism Is Ruining The Philippines

I’ve never paid for sex, and living here on Boracay that makes me feel like I am in the minority among the other foreign men living on the island. At the risk of generalizing a bit, it seems like they have all had their hands in the metaphorical honey pot and even had their hands in the prostitutes themselves.

I’ve been here on this island for two months (but in the Philippines for much longer) and the expats that I have talked to about this all have their rationalizations on why prostitution is OK, or why they themselves partake in the buying of another individual for an evening of sexual favors.

It’s not for a lack of interest or understanding that I haven’t participated myself. Back home in America, casual sex is quite common. Quite often you can meet a girl in a club and take her home at the end of the night.

It happens all the time and of course that was part of my life as well. I’ve been with some beautiful women in my time, and I’m not ashamed of it in the slightest. I’m not proud either; it’s just the way it is.

The difference is that unlike prostitution, there’s no exchange of money. To be honest, there’s really no expectations at all.

A typical meeting of genitals is more about a connection you have with someone than what you can give that person in the means of material possessions. We have prostitutes, sure…but you really have to go out of your way to find them.

Here, without a doubt, they will find you.

When I first arrived here, I was tempted to call Boracay “Prostitute Island”, even though I was well aware that many other areas in SE Asia and the Philippines are much worse off in these regards. To someone new to traveling though, it came as quite a shock to find that most of the girls I was meeting were indeed “ladies of the night”.

It’s not that I think there is anything inherently wrong with prostitution, on the contrary – what a woman does with her body is or should be her choice after all. That being said, it IS illegal, but let’s be honest, that’s never stopped many people from doing or getting what they want. Hell, several of my friends here are indeed prostitutes themselves. I do think however that being a top destination for sex tourism has its downfalls.

Boracay isn’t the thriving mecca of prostitution that, say, Angeles City or other areas in SE Asia are… but we still see its effects. Slowly but surely sex tourism is destroying this beautiful and wonderful country. You might be surprised of the reasons why though. It’s not the fact that prostitution exists. It’s the people that it brings over.

Surely you have encountered them, those who many Filipinos affectionately refer to as the “matandang mayaman madaling mamatay” which translates into, “Old, Rich, and Soon to Die”.

You can expect to find them throughout the country. White, bald, overweight and a failed marriage or two. This is a stereotype of course, as sex tourists come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, but behind every stereotype is some truth.

What is most shocking to me is that these men seem to be living in a country that they don’t like, spending time with women they neither respect nor trust. As if they themselves were any more trustworthy. Spoiler Alert: They aren’t.

It takes one look on the Philippine-based mongering forums to see the kind this industry is attracting.

These men are typically unhappy and jaded, bitter towards something or everything in their lives and most damaging of all… they ruin the good name of the Philippines.

I’m here in the Philippines because I love it here, they are here because… hey, cheap sex! That’s the impression I get, and it’s not like I’m grabbing at straws to come to this conclusion either.

Outside of a new American military base this is the last thing the Philippines needs.

My first conversation with a sex tourist went like this,

“Let me tell you something about these Filipinas.”

“What’s that?” I replied

“If their lips are moving, they are lying.”

I scoffed. I had experienced a lot of dishonesty here, as with poverty comes problems… but I have also met a lot of wonderful people that I would be willing to trust my life with.

I guess maybe he hadn’t considered that it’s harder to find people to trust in the crowds that he associates with.

He also had no room to talk about trust, as he would point out women that he had slept with, and tell in explicit detail what they did for him. If he is anything like the others then he probably has no issues sharing nude photos or videos of his exploits with others.

These girls have families, and a lot of the time don’t want everyone to know what they do for fear of it getting back to someone they care about. Yet you can find pictures and videos of many of these girls online.

How can you expect to trust others when you yourself cannot be trusted?

With further conversation it was clear that he had absolutely nothing nice to say about the girls he had been with and just as many awful things to say about the Filipino people in general.

It doesn’t stop at defamation either. When I asked about STD’s such as herpes…

“Who cares about herpes?”

“Well, I do,” I said.

“It appears for a few days and then goes away and you can only get it when it’s visible.”

At this point I’m just trying my hardest not to take him back to school to get an education, but I just let him talk as he seemed rather amused by his own anecdotes of stupidity.

Let me clarify something for everyone else though… Herpes is most contagious during a time called viral shedding. Nothing is visible during this time and condoms aren’t necessarily going to protect you from it. A good visual inspection does not mean you are in the clear

Furthermore, if you do have herpes, you have an ethical obligation to tell anyone you might be sleeping with that you have it, and it’s actually a legal obligation where I come from.

Many are not well educated with info about sexually transmitted diseases here, and hence you will find a lot of guys having sex with these girls without protection because, “Why not?”

Aside from the fact that I can think of a lot of reasons “why not”, if this just stopped in prostitution town I wouldn’t care too much. However, these guys will hop on dating sites, and go to local stores and convince and/or trick girls into sleeping with them.

Never mind that they were just with 3 prostitutes the other day without protection.

They don’t mind, and it’s not because they don’t know they are doing something wrong, something that wouldn’t be approved of if these girls knew what they were doing either.

Many will go out of their way to deliberately hide what they do, they will insinuate that they are looking for something more and lie just so one more person will sleep with them.

So ultimately this effects more than just prostitutes and those involved in that so-called hobby.

It’s affecting your children and your families, because they don’t care what happens to who as long as they get laid.

Why pay for sex in the first place? Well, I asked that too. Apparently paying for sex is much cheaper than dating a girl.

Last time I checked, casual sex between two consenting adults costs nothing. The girls that I’ve slept with back home and here were more than willing to sleep with me because they were attracted to me. Ironically enough, these so-called men are STILL buying these girls drinks and dinner on top of paying for the sex, which eliminates their whole reasoning behind it being cheaper.

Yes, perhaps money will get you into a girls pants out here, but rest assured you aren’t a big man just because you have the money. You are paying for a girl to pretend to be interested in you and you can’t get less masculine than that.

Personally I prefer to go to bed with those that are genuinely interested in me, not what I can give them. I’d rather not devalue myself to some dollar signs.

Maybe that’s what it comes down to, that these men can’t get laid without the exploitation of a fragile economy and its people.

It doesn’t get any better either – these men are under this warped rationale that they are doing these girls favors.

“They need this money.”

Sure, but they don’t need your dick inside of them for you to give them money, do they? If you really want to help, how about a little less exploitation and a little more compassion and understanding.

It’s all about what they can get out of it, while they themselves complain that these girls only want one thing. A bit hypocritical if you ask me. Perhaps it’s time to look in the mirror.

If you asked me what I thought of prostitution or prostitutes I’d say that it is just fine and I hold no hate for prostitutes.

How could I?

Some of these girls are supporting their entire families with what they do. It may not be glamorous, but taking care of your family by any means necessary is quite respectable on some level.

Many of these girls have children given to them by runaway foreigners to take care of, and any good mom is going to want a decent life for their child.

I’ve met several of these women in my time here. Their reasons for doing what they do are all different; some don’t feel they have a choice, and some legitimately enjoy what they do.

When the choice is to live either in poverty or make two times the amount one might make in a week per day, it’s easy to understand why so many resort to this line of work.

I don’t despise all sex tourists either. It would be unfair to say that all these men are ungrateful arrogant piles of wrinkled skin, as some are just lonely old men passing time until they find love.

You’d have to sift through a lot of horrible men to find them, just as you might have to sift through a lot of horrible girls to find a great one.

What we have here is two sides of a coin, doing the same things to each other, both blaming the other side. Heads or tails, you lose.

So there you have it. Sex may bring tourists and it may bring money, but it also brings in the kind of tourists that spit on the people and the land of where they go.

Fact of the matter is, it’s supply and demand.

If there wasn’t a demand, there wouldn’t be a supply. I don’t think prostitution is going away anytime soon, no matter how illegal it is, and if you are going to go to a country to break their laws to get your jollies, at least start showing their people, culture and land some respect.

Remember that it takes two to tango.

Foreigners and locals, start learning how to trust in each other, and start giving each other a reason to trust in you as well. We will only achieve change together.

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What can I say that hasn't already been said once and then rewritten elsewhere on this site? Nothing? OK, then let's recap. My name is Jordan and my beard and I are currently traveling the world. I also believe in unicorns and I'm sick of writing about myself. Learn more about me »

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