New Reward Reference Chart

Hey gamers, over the years I’ve given advice to thousands
of players on how to KICK ASS (play a dwarf!) TAKE NAMES (inscribe them on your
axe) and CRUSH DUNGEONS IN STYLE (hint: SWEATBANDS) but I’ve largely
neglected to help those unfortunate souls sitting on the OTHER side of the
screen – the DM.

WHY?

Because being the DM is EASY. You just read some boring
boxed text and send a couple of goblins into the room. A SECOND-GRADER COULD DO
IT.

Some of my critics disagree. “EASY?” they say, as globules
of rage fly across the room. “You think running an inventive, engaging, BADASS
RPG adventure is EASY?”

That’s right. And I’m going to PROVE it by taking the
World’s WORST Dungeon Crawl and making it AWESOME.

Based on decades of RPG experience, I’ve culled together
the most odious PCs, plots, and encounters and built a Frankenstein’s MONSTER
of BADASSITUDE. It’s called Flaming Deathpits of the Minotaur Mage:
Descent into Doomfire! It has a hackneyed “Save the Princess” plot.
It has pyromancer named “Steve.” It has ROLE-PLAYING.

Yeah, you’re right: it sounds like a total train wreck.
And I’m going to climb that train, stoke its engines with 200cc’s of pure,
undiluted DUNGEON BASTARD GUSTO and CRASH that thing directly into the BIGGEST,
most NOTORIOUS gaming convention of them all: GEN CON 2013.

That’s right — I don’t do things HALFWAY, gamers. If I’m
going to prove how easy it is to take the World’s Worst Dungeon Crawl and
make it TOTALLY AWESOME, I’m going to do it LIVE, in-person, before a crowd of
the world’s most hard-core gamers.

I hope to present this “masterpiece”
of fantasy adventure not only as a published RPG adventure for you to enjoy with your fellow gamers, but also as a live event at GEN CON immortalized on video to
help motivate and inspire your PERSONAL gaming group. Your contributions help
create, publish and host the game and document it in the polished, professional style
you’ve come to expect from the Dungeon Bastard. The result should be a lot more fun than “The World's WORST Dungeon Crawl” HAS
ANY RIGHT TO BE.

The stretch goals continue to tumble like a half-elven thief in a cavern full of storm giants! Here's a snapshot of what we have so far:

Bill Cavalier's Libram of Ineffable BASTARDLINESS. A collection of the Dungeon Bastard's finest wit, wisdom, and advice as seen on the series as well as Facebook & Twitter.

JUST UNLOCKED:The Genius Guide to the Godling by Super Genius Games for all backers $25 and up!

We're also upgrading the cover and interior art on the World's Worst Dungeon Crawl PDF to full-color.

Backers pledging $50 or more will receive:

TWO commentary tracks added to their physical DVD - one track by Bill and one behind-the-scenes creator commentary by writer and lead Tom Lommel.

Bill Cavalier's BASTARDLY BATTLE CRIES: twenty individual MP3 tracks you can load on your smartphone and use to berate your DM whenever the game starts to suck or, conversely, YOU are particularly AWESOME (i.e. ALL THE TIME).

JUST UNLOCKED: BATTLE MUSIC FOR BASTARDS! Ten ORIGINAL tracks designed to INSPIRE YOUR GAME, directly from the talented hands of Mark Frey, who does ALL of our composing and arrangements for the series -- including the theme song!

Here's a preliminary sample track from BATTLE MUSIC FOR BASTARDS entitled Crossing the Bridge of the Dark Gnome Necromancer

We've also promised a Colin McComb VIDEO SMACKDOWN, a BADASS DUNGEON CRUSHER credit for backers $100+ and dedicated funding for 6 more months of Dungeon Bastard! In addition, the BACKERS will VOTE to put the slogan of THEIR CHOICE on Bill's shirt during the live event.

Here's just a SAMPLING of the rewards you're getting at the $100 level:

NEXT UP AT $30,000 we unsheath THE VORPAL SWORD!

At this level:

Everyone backing at $50+ will receive Fat Dragon Games E-Z Dungeons DELUXE EDITION. Over 155 megs of dungeon terrain, tiles, traps, treasures and other items to dress up your game table!

Backers at $100+ will receive a personalized MP3 audio eulogy mourning the (clearly UNFAIR) death of your PC or a full-on Dungeon Bastard haranguing mocking your DM for his inability to KILL YOUR CHARACTER.

Also, Bill will go mano-a-jerko with John Wick in a NO HOLDS BARRED wizard duel at Gen Con 2013. If you saw what the Bastard did to Monte Cook LAST year, you know that did not end well.

Here's the current stretch list:

What people are saying about my adventure

"I have every confidence that this will be absolutely the most terrible, awful dungeon crawl, ever." ~Monte Cook

"Whoever said playing roleplaying games won't turn you into a Satanist hasn't played D&D with the Dungeon Bastard." ~Kenneth Hite

"Just when you thought he couldn't get any lower, the Dungeon Bastard takes out his +5 Pick of Sucking and starts digging." ~John Wick

"So bad it will have the PCs falling on their swords and the players taking a battering ram to the exit door - which will be chained of course because that's the only way the Bastard will manage to get a group seated at the table." ~Jolly Blackburn

"Black holes don't suck this much. This thing whips out a +5 Vorpal Blade of Awful and slices open a Sphere of Fun Annihilation in the hope of ending its own pathetic universe in a suicidal implosion of stupid — and naturally fumbles at that." ~Matt Forbeck

"Bill Cavalier," a haiku:

The plot is boring.

The players are comatose.

Dungeon Bastard stinks.

~Sean K Reynolds

These guys are DICKS. ~Bill Cavalier

As you see to the right we offer some pretty cool rewards. In addition to the adventure itself and copy of the live Gen Con Indy 2013 event, we have Dungeon Bastard exclusive products like sweatbands and t-shirts and other in-game products with the help of our friends at Dragon Chow Dice Bags, Fat Dragon Games, and Super Genius Games.

By contributing to this campaign, not only will you benefit from my ultimate gaming wisdom, you'll receive a BADASS combination of gaming gear that will take your next gaming experience to a whole new level of awesome. For instance:

You or your PC's name on my IMMORTAL
WALL OF HEROES!

An HD video download of The
World's WORST Dungeon Crawl event (with special content and intro by Bill
Cavalier, exclusive to Kickstarter backers*)

Custom sweat/wristbands (2-pieces) that say “LAWFUL”
on the left arm and “BADASS” on the right arm.

Dungeon Bastard Ultimate Dice Tower PDF (from
Fat Dragon Games).

Bill Cavalier will follow you on Twitter for 1
year, where you will serve
as his special FIELD RESEARCH AMBASSADORS FOR MAXIMUM BADASSERY.

HALF-ELF THIEF rewards.

BONUS: Not one, but TWO commentary tracks added to their physical DVD - one track by Bill and one behind-the-scenes creator commentary by writer and lead Tom Lommel.

BONUS: Bill Cavalier's BASTARDLY BATTLE CRIES: twenty individual MP3 tracks you can load on your smartphone and use to berate your DM whenever the game starts to suck or, conversely, YOU are particularly AWESOME (i.e. ALL THE TIME).

BONUS: BATTLE MUSIC FOR BASTARDS! Ten ORIGINAL tracks designed to INSPIRE YOUR GAME, directly from the talented hands of Mark Frey, who does ALL of our composing and arrangements for the series -- including the theme song!

B&W printed copy of "The World's WORST
Dungeon Crawl" adventure book.

Set of 3 Bill Cavalier POWER GAMER d6s (always
roll a 6!).

Official Badass Dungeon Crushers' Association
membership card.

Badass Dungeon Crushers Association window cling.

HALF-ORC FIGHTER rewards.

Risks and challenges

What’s going to make this the World’s WORST Dungeon Crawl? Let’s start with experience: I’ve been playing RPGs since I was 14. I’ve been attending GEN CON since its Milwaukee debut. That’s A LOT of gaming. I’ve playtested rules systems, written “dungeon duel”-style Con events, and helped host NASCRAG – the longest-running independent RPG tournament at GEN CON. I know what works, what doesn’t work, and what doesn’t even qualify for unemployment.

Second, I know a dirty secret regular RPG authors would NEVER tell you: your game can be fun DESPITE the scripted adventure. That’s my goal here. To take a trite premise and a hackneyed plot and prove that NONE OF THAT MATTERS when you game THE DUNGEON BASTARD WAY.

Finally, there’s the reflexively amplifying nature of trying to create the World’s WORST Dungeon Crawl: anything that goes wrong inherently makes the adventure EVEN WORSE. You've heard of a "WIN-WIN"? This is a FAIL-FAIL-WIN!

That’s not to say I’m deliberately trying to tank this thing. On the contrary, I take pride in delivering a QUALITY PRODUCT – whether that’s the written adventure or the final video of the live event. I’ve worked with professionals in the field, and I share their professional standards.

I have the experience, equipment, and team in place to make the World’s WORST Dungeon Crawl TRULY AWESOME. Anything can happen when you roll the dice, but the results are stacked when you’re carrying a +5 long sword.

Support

Select this reward

Pledge $5 or more
About $5

HALFLING SWORD CADDY

You get something NO OTHER halfling has ever gotten -- your name (or your PC's name) on my IMMORTAL WALL OF HEROES (AKA the Dungeon Bastard's website)! Is that not reward enough? No? SHUT UP, YOU ONLY GAVE FIVE DOLLARS!

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge $50 or more
About $50

HALF-ORC FIGHTER

►►Physical DVD of "The World's WORST Dungeon Crawl" event (with special content and intro by Bill Cavalier, exclusive to Kickstarter backers). ►►Custom sweat/wristbands (2-pieces) that say “LAWFUL” on the left arm and “BADASS” on the right arm. ►►Dungeon Bastard Ultimate Dice Tower PDF (from Fat Dragon Games). ►►Bill Cavalier will follow you on Twitter for 1 year, where you will serve as his special FIELD RESEARCH AMBASSADORS FOR MAXIMUM BADASSERY. ►►HALF-ELF THIEF rewards.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge $150 or more
About $150

DWARVEN PALADIN

►►Official Certificate of ELITE Badassery. ►►LAWFUL BADASS t-shirt. ►►LAWFUL BADASS bumper sticker. ►►Your copies of the printed adventure book and the DVD (which you get as part of the ELVEN WIZARD reward) will also be autographed by the Dungeon Bastard himself! ►►Guaranteed admission to the "The World's WORST Dungeon Crawl" event at Gen Con 2013! (Transportation, accommodations, admission to Gen Con, etc. are your responsibility.) ►►ELVEN WIZARD rewards.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge $250 or more
About $250

MAXOTAUR

►►Customized 10-second mp3 ringtone or voicemail recording by Bill Cavalier with your name (or your character's name) in it. ►►Your name credited as "Maximum Badass" in all PDF and print copies of "The World's WORST Dungeon Crawl" adventure book. ►►Reserved VIP-only seat up front at the "The World's WORST Dungeon Crawl" event at Gen Con 2013! (Transportation, accommodations, admission to Gen Con, etc. are your responsibility.) ►►Your name will be entered in live drawing to PLAY IN THE GAME at the "The World's WORST Dungeon Crawl" event at Gen Con 2013. (Two seats available for game. Transportation, accommodations, admission to Gen Con, etc. are your responsibility.) ►►DWARVEN PALADIN rewards.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge $350 or more
About $350

OTYUGH

►►Inflict your own special variety of awful on the party by working with Bill to NAME one of the PCs they have to play in "The World's WORST Dungeon Crawl" event. ►►The Dungeon Bastard will give your gaming group a personalized DM haranguing/pep talk via Skype or Google+. Limited to 15 minutes. (Skype/G+ handle and donor’s real name must be provided at time of donation.) ►►Character Critique: Bill Cavalier's handwritten notes on your character sheet. (Character sheet must be provided at time of donation.) ►►MAXOTAUR rewards.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge $1,000 or more
About $1,000

TARRASQUE

►►Executive Producer credit on the "The World's WORST Dungeon Crawl" event DVD and on at least 5 episodes of Dungeon Bastard released in 2013. (Name must be provided at time of donation.) ►►Dungeon Bastard will create a personalized episode of "Ask The Bastard" for you on the topic of your choice — gaming or otherwise! (Subject to Bastardly Approval.) ►►One custom LAWFUL BADASS Dungeon Bastard Dice Bag (from Dragon Chow Dice Bags). ►►MAXOTAUR rewards.

Kickstarter is not a store.

Pledge $2,500 or more
About $2,500

LICH DEMIGOD

►►Bill Cavalier will run World's Worst Dungeon Crawl (AKA “Flaming Deathpits of the Minotaur Mage: Descent into Doomfire!”) specifically for YOUR gaming group, in person! (Schedule must be worked out with Bill’s availability. Price valid only for backers within North America. All others can contact us to discuss rates.) ►►One LAWFUL BADASS t-shirt for EACH member of your group (up to 6). ►►One custom LAWFUL BADASS Dungeon Bastard Dice Bag (from Dragon Chow Dice Bags). ►►MAXOTAUR rewards.