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Knowing When It's Time To Move On*

There's an idiom that you may very well have heard of before; 'Flogging a dead horse,'and this is something we can use to apply to many aspects of life and in particular when it comes to relationships.

When the outcome of a relationship is already doomed and apparent, then to continue is deemed a waste of time and effort. Of course no relationship is ever a complete waste of time because we can learn from every experience, but alas people do change and thus often grow apart.

Couples counselling is an option if the love is still there and you both really want to try, and yes this might very well work. But if your relationship has become toxic or you're arguing all the time, staying in the relationship could be draining and bad news for your mental health and well-being.

It's always going to be difficult the further down the path you get, but if you're not happy then you need to look at why. Pretending to yourself and continuing as you are isn't going to help you or anyone else. Imagine if you end up married with kids but are miserable. Would you want to raise your children in those circumstances? Or imagine if you continue seeing this person for years on end, knowing you should really call it quits but not doing so because you're scared of ending up alone? And then the day comes ten years down the line where you call it off anyway. Depending on your age, you could very well have missed out on having children full stop!

Yes it is going to be difficult when you've already invested emotionally in something and indeed heavily with your time. It can be hard to accept when it's time to let go even though more often than not you know it's the best and right thing to do. But sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and stop flogging a dead horse!

From experiences I've been privy to, usually the clinging on is purely down to a fear of being alone and yet this is crazy. There's a whole world out there just waiting to be discovered, a whole world of people just waiting to meet and fall in love with their ideal partner. And who knows, that could be you! If you don't give yourself the chance then you'll never know what could or might be.

If you do decide to start over, you're going to need a while to grieve and heal and it's important that you allow yourself this period of time before you rush into anything. No matter what the state of your relationship, there will still be a certain element of sadness when it comes to it's ultimate conclusion.

When you are feeling more like yourself and ready to date again, try online dating where you can chat from the comfort of your own home. There are many websites to choose from including the popular eHarmony and Match. Tinder and POF are two free websites which are great if you want to see who's out there. And there's a whole host of 'local' dating sites now, designed with various cities and towns in mind so that you can find someone local to you. Wiltshire dating site and dating in Gloucester are perfect for anyone in their fifties and beyond. If you live in the North of England then perhaps dating in Cumbria would be ideal. There's sites for single women in Torquayand for anyone who lives further South of England. And if no strings naughty datingis more your cup of tea then there's sites for this also.

Whatever you do, remember that we only get to live this life once! Go out and live it to the fullest but stay safe too.

Photo by Justine Machin. Interview with Author of 'All The Bright Places' Jennifer Niven. Part Two. So last...

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