Sorry, really I am. I know the first half of that headline was a cheap, provocative construction (which is why I neutered it with the parenthetical), but when USA Today writer(s)—yeah, it took three of them for this—ask “Is Oil Spill Becoming Obama’s Katrina?” I really just want to smash and kill. The media. Figuratively.

So, here’s how I see it:

A free enterprise fucked up and was forced to clean up its mess. It made sense to get said free enterprise to clean up its own mess because it had been forced previously (by the interferin’ gubmint, after Exxon Valdez) to invest in the best strategies to clean up its messes (cause nobody wants to see taxpayer money go to fixing corporate mistakes). Said free enterprise is finding it tough to clean up its mess because it made a REALLY HUGE FUCKING MESS. And now the lefty, socialist state of Louisiana is dying for statist intervention—a BP bailout, if you will.

Seriously, the latest “poll” cited by USA Today finds more people concerned with taking care of the environment than with promoting economic growth. (FINALLY.) But that “poll” could just be of Rasmussen’s three one-eyed uncles. Who knows. Rand Paul is not amused.

Anyway, long-story short: consequences are un-American. Also, this is obviously Obama’s Katrina. Or his Waterloo. (Or his seventh game of the the 1993 Campbell Conference Finals.)