If your child seems to be under functioning you might be contributing by over functioning for him.

Your teenage girl leaves her dirty clothes all over her room, and you have been nagging her to pick them up and place in the laundry basket but for some years she never improve and you are continuing yelling at her every time the scene repeats. Now, instead of getting into another fight with her or nagging her to pick them up, you do it for her. Why? because it is easier.

Another son of you refuses to go to tuition center as he is not interested in learning and when you need to send him off to tuition center, both of you have to go through a routine fight before he gets in the car.

These sounds familiar to you?

At times, we "over-function" in our relationship especially with our children. You might not realize how this being started and most of the time you don't even notice that you are over functioning. Let's say your 4-years old know how to eat by himself, but you spoon feed her because it is faster and soon it becomes a habit. Or your 8-year-old son, who does not remember his duty as a student, forgets his text book again, and you rush to school for him. Or your adult daughter is not happy with her first job and doesn't know how to co-ordinate with her colleague, and jump in to advice her to quit the job (as the family doesn't require her salary for daily expenditures and all her salary is her pocket money) and try to "fix" the situation without listening to her.

When you get stuck in a role of doing too much, you might find it hard to give up—and often, those around you might not want you to stop!

It’s easy to get stuck in this role because you feel needed, people rely on you and are impressed with how much you do. But understand that over–functioning isn’t just a simple desire to be helpful or an annoying habit to overcome. Look at it this way: if you’re always focused on everybody else, it’s a way to not focus on yourself. Over–functioning is the way we’ve learned to manage our own anxiety by overdoing, just like your under–functioning child has learned to manage stress by underdoing. This turns into a problem when it becomes a fixed pattern in your family.

So for example, let’s say your 23–year–old son sleeps all day, parties all night, watch TV all day and won’t look for work, but you let him live under your roof without paying rent or asking him to leave. You find yourself waiting on him hand and foot. Maybe you're going along with this because you're avoiding the discomfort of a confrontation. But the question to ask yourself is, "Is this in my child's best interests or in mine?" Are you helping your child, or are you teaching your child to be helpless?

Fathers play an important role in the psychological, behavioral and academic development of their children. In the spirit of Father's Day, A-Better-Child.org offers ten ways for dads to make the most of this very special role.

1. Respect Your Children's Mother: One of the best things a father can do for his children is to respect their mother. If you are married, keep your marriage strong and vital. If you're not married, it is still important to respect and support the mother of your children. A father and mother who respect each other, and let their children know it, provide a secure environment for them. When children see their parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel that they are also accepted and respected.

2. Spend Time With Your Children: How a father spends his time tells his children what's important to him. If you always seem to busy for your children, they will feel neglected no matter what you say. Treasuring children often means sacrificing other things, but it is essential to spend time with your children. Kids grow up so quickly. Missed opportunities are forever lost.

3. Earn The Right To Be Heard: All too often the only time a father speaks to his children is when they have done something wrong. That's why so many children cringe when their mother says, "Your father wants to talk with you." Begin talking with your kids when they are very young so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older. Take time and listen to their ideas and problems.

4. Discipline With Love: All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits. Remind your children of the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful rewards for desirable behavior. Fathers who discipline in a calm and fair manner show love for their children.

5. Be A Role Model: Fathers are role models to their kids whether they realize it or not. A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect by boys, and what to look for in a husband. Fathers can teach sons what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility and responsibility. "All the world's a stage..." and a father plays one of the most vital roles.

6. Be A Teacher: Too many fathers think teaching is something others do. But a father who teaches his children about right and wrong, and encourages them to do their best, will see his children make good choices. Involved fathers use everyday examples to help their children learn the basic lessons of life.

7. Eat Together As A Family: Sharing a meal together (breakfast, lunch or dinner) can be an important part of healthy family life. In addition to providing some structure in a busy day, it gives kids the chance to talk about what they are doing and want to do. It is also a good time for fathers to listen and give advice. Most importantly, it is a time for families to be together each day.

8. Read To Your Children: In a world where television often dominates the lives of children, it is important that fathers make the effort to read to their children. Children learn best by doing and reading, as well as seeing and hearing. Begin reading to your children when they are very young. When they are older encourage them to read on their own. Instilling your children with a love for reading is one of the best ways to ensure they will have a lifetime of personal and career growth.

9. Show Affection: Children need the security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted and loved by their family. Parents, especially fathers, need to feel both comfortable and willing to hug their children. Showing affection everyday is the best way to let your children know that you love them.

10. Realize That A Father's Job Is Never Done: Even after children are grown and ready to leave home, they will still look to their fathers for wisdom and advice. Whether it's continued schooling, a new job or a wedding, fathers continue to play an essential part in the lives of their children as they grow and, perhaps, marry and build their own families.