Woman Gets Mauled to Death by a Lion in the Middle of Sex

Zimbabwe – A woman was mauled to death by a lion as she made love to her boyfriend outdoors in Zimbabwe, it was reported today. Sharai Mawera died yesterday after the big cat pounced while she was enjoying a romantic moment in the bush with her unnamed partner. The My Zimbabwe news website reported that the predator attacked the couple at a secluded spot in the bush near the northern town of Kariba. Ms Mawera’s boyfriend, who has not been identified, is believed to have jumped up and fled in the nude when the lion lunged forward. A source told the newspaper the young woman died at the scene. He said: ‘Unfortunately the woman was mauled to death by the lion, but her boyfriend managed to escape naked.’ A friend of the couple… said: ‘ The two were romping when the incident occurred. The lion came from behind and roared. The guy managed to escape before stopping at a distance where he witnessed his companion being attacked. He later rushed to the road seeking help.’

There’s not a man on God’s green Earth who’ll criticize the boyfriend for his actions on this one. None. If there ever was a good time to fight a lion (Pro tip: there isn’t) it certainly isn’t when you’re in the middle of ‘romping,” naked and standing there with wood. If he tried to save Sharai, he would’ve been Lion Chow himself. So he had two choices: run or die. And he chose the path each and every last one of us would have: Throw her to the lion and take off Really there are two victims here. Sharai, because she died horribly getting torn apart by a ferocious carnivore, and the boyfriend, for getting interrupted in the middle of getting his freak on, which as we all know is the worst experience imaginable. A fate worse than death. Plus her problems are over, but he has to find another chick who’ll give him regular bush sex, and that’s no small task. Again, they both suffered, it’s all just a matter of degrees, really. So my condolences to both of them. And here’s hoping he did the right thing and finish himself off before he started flagging down cars. The poor guy had already been through so much. @JerryThornton1