Another week, another shocking play the likes of which no one has ever seen; tonight, Duke fell victim to the whims of fate, and once again we’re here to bring you the action as called by home announcers.

Wayne Thorne was just starting his second season as the manager at English soccer club Larkhall Athletic when he was involved in a head-on car collision. He ruptured an artery in his heart and crushed 16 of his 24 ribs. He punctured a lung and shattered his hip and pelvis. He broke his sternum and his left leg.…

You may ask: "How's that even possible?" She is no longer paralyzed anymore—that's how! "How's that even possible?" I have no idea. The whole thing sounds pretty crazy to me, but the Dutch cyclist was apparently un-paralyzed after getting into an accident while training for the London 2012 Paralympics.

His name is Rich Schultz (yellow polo, large grin, Jersey tan), but please don't call him "Two Holes" because that's somewhat suggestive. Odds of him hitting two holes in one during a single round? 26,045,834 to 1. [Allentown Morning Call]