Crystal Bowersox on "American Idol."Pretty brutal "American Idol"
tonight (as I always assume it will be with this theme and its inherent
Mariah-ness), with one exception (hint: look up at the picture). If I
hadn't skipped the last two weeks because of my time off, I'd be tempted
to just do a "Crystal rules, others drool" post, but may as well review
contestant by contestant, just as soon as I tell you that I like
Spider-Man...

Casey James,
"Don't Stop": This is Casey on auto-pilot, with the perma-smile,
the mini guitar solos and the usual Bob Seger/Huey Lewis affectations.
As usual, there's nothing bad about what he's doing, but there
was also nothing all that memorable.

Lee Dewyze, "The Boxer": This Simon & Garfunkel
classic re-arranges itself surprisingly well into a more overtly rock
ballad, and Lee was definitely playing with more passion than Casey, or
than that he'd shown before, but there was still the usual assortment of
notes that made me wonder what target he was aiming at that was nowhere
near what was on the music sheet.

Tim Urban, "Better Days": Again, he takes everything
remotely challenging out of the arrangement to match his woefully
limited skillset, yet this time can't even manage to stay in tune all
the way through. Both bad (which can be helpful in motivating your
fanbase) and boring (which has the opposite effect) at the same time.
Might the collision of matter and anti-matter finally be enough to send
him home?

Aaron Kelly, "I
Believe I Can Fly": I can't remember anyone on the show ever
doing this song well, though Fienberg reminded me that Ruben handled it
just fine waaay back in season two. Still, this is one of those songs
where anyone who's watched the show for even a short amount of time
should know is a trap, and Aaron falls right into it. Cheesey and all
over the place vocally, with a whole lot of notes that were just pure
pain.

Siobhan Magnus, "When You
Believe": God, I hate this song so, so, so much, and while
Siobhan managed to sing the power notes well without shrieking, the
whole performance was incredibly dull - and that's even with her wearing
a collection of butterflies on her dress.

Michael Lynche, "Hero": Dozed off
halfway through this bland performance and woke up to Simon explaining
that songs from the "Spider-Man" soundtrack can't be inspirational. So
Simon hates songs about birds, songs from comic book movies... what
else? Crystal Bowersox,
"People Get Ready": Mama Sox has been terrific throughout the
competition, but that consistency also has started to work against her a
bit - if you start out so much better than everyone else, and are
consistent in your performances, it starts to feel like you've
plateaued. She'd been great, but without an "Idol" Moment. With her
beautiful take on this '60s classic - sans
guitar, starting off a cappella, and eventually working herself
into tears - Crystal finally had her Moment, and hopefully one that will
prevent any kind of bored "You're our resident professional" talk from
the judges in the weeks to come.

Best of the night: Crystal. No one else in the running.

In danger: I'd like to think that
"Idol" Gives Back will have a feel-good ending with Tim going home, but I
suspect Aaron's in more danger, and Siobhan may be, too.