Monthly Archives: August 2003

Saturday, August 30, 2003

i saw a lot of people today! i randomly ran into tita bing at jollibee in rockwell, now how random is that? i have the biggest crush on her, but don’t tell anyone. she’s really pretty. sorry kath. anyway, aside from that, richie and leo at rockwell, selena and zeldie at pier one, joy, john, marc, muri, gk gorgeous at greenbelt. yikes! anyway i think this is the apex of my drinking habit- on my way home i got detoured by the messed up traffic scheme at new manila and ended up in a dead end one way eskinita and had to back my ass up a long ways which is hard enough when you’re sober. and ther, i finally heard that “mamatay ka na sana” song! gagu hindi naman yun sugar free ah!

this past tuesday was barbie’s birthday! being the loyal fans that we are, we headed down to bagaberde to watch their gig. it was funny to see yasmin, i should invite her when i watch other gigs. anyway, the place was packed, and there were a lot of girls.. however they’re the ones on the same side of the fence as we are, if you get my point. hmm.

i haven’t seen sunlight the past week. well, not entirely. there are moments i see light coming through the venetian blinds at six in the morning before i go to bed. i was surprised i woke up at 930 this morning, and i think the maids were perplexed as well. for some reason i couldn’t go back to sleep so i just read the papers. normally i get out of my room at 4ish. gross, no? some just might be jealous, with work or school sapping the life out of you. well, my laziness is sapping the life out of me. so let’s call it quits.

i watched razorback at rock radio in alabang last night, and they kicked ass! aris their sound technician was surprised to see me, he thought i was from the south.. cos it is quite a drive and i understand why people wouldn’t bother to make the trip. i don’t really mind, it was my first time to see them and i was with mon and GK anyway, fun times! even though right before we were about to leave some weird bitch was being really rude to GK. it made us all mad and so i spotted another round of red horse to calm our nerves down. people from the south are weird. thank goodness for beer and music.

it’s LMU‘s first day of classes today! its funny seeing all these people show up online again on AIM. i met so many people the last few years, that it’s great to see.. well nevermind, i don’t see them anymore. but it’s fun thinking about it. i miss hanging out at convo hour outside under the sun. socal weather is just heavenly. but screw the weather, what i really miss are my friends! boo!

i’m still a little cranky and aloof a little bit. this is what i get for being stupid. i have these bouts of carefree happiness, and when my mind turns idle, it churns out high grade low-self-esteem fuel. oh, my beautiful mind can make sense of everything except its own thoughts. what a let down. poink!

i need something to pacify me, and bring me out of this slump i’m in. i don’t know if it’s the idleness of being a bum, or the emotional turmoil thats starting to brew in me. i think i’ve trapped myself by sub-consciously allowing therese to be such a big part of my life, i can’t function with these hangups that come with the package. but i’m not saying that i regret having her as part of me, i guess i’m just realizing the whole significance of it all. she’s my bestest friend in the world, and i love her dearly, but recently i’m allowing myself to act differently for reasons i’m not even sure of. i’m successfully adding unnecessary strains in our friendship.. i just want to stop being an asshole, and just be me. funny how i can’t even get a grip on that one. if i were my own friend, i’d bonk myself over the head. a million times.

funny how their bassist rommel already recognizes me. wait, nevermind. i’ve been to their last 3 gigs without fail. what a sad schmuck i am. but how can you be a sucker for good music? i love it when they jam their covers, and taint it with samba beats, jazz rhythms, and just paint it with their sound..

watched the ateneo-lasalle game, rode the MRT two days in a row, saw the city of god and swimming pool during the filmfest, finished the freelance project for cita astals (i basically re-did it, and this time she was really happy, and so was i).. summer isn’t as boring as i thought it would be.

before i forget, here’s a story. sunday my family went out for some sushi, and my dad wouldn’t stop teasing me about looking like dao ming si or whoever the hell he is. now all of you who are from manila, just shutup. its annoying. even the waitress from the restaurant was mocking me about it. hell, everyone mocks me about it.. what’s ironic, my brother lovell pointed out, is how our parents have accepted my long hair… and actually oppose me cutting it! has the world turned upside down? what a trade-off. i get to keep my long hair, but have to live a life of ridicule and mockery. can’t everyone just mind their own business?

she makes out with her cute co-worker in the company bathroom. during breaks, or on office hours, who will ever know? our girl knows how to pick her men- this one came from graduate school in stanford, and knowing her taste, he’s probably not bad looking either. i can’t believe she makes out in the bathroom.. with her co-worker, nonetheless. if it were her boss, then that would just kill me. what an adventurer. what a thrill-seeking sport. we’re proud of you, andrea! :D

we are fans of barbie’s cradle. i never thought i’d think twice about seeing them, but i guess i was just really surprised the first time i saw them at how good they are live. they’ve got my thumbs up, and i’m sure to spread the word to my friends :) let’s watch! you guys have to see them!

okay its 4am and amber is barking outside my door. she never usually barks. sometimes i get nightmares that there is a ghost of my grandfather outside near the sala. he used to live with us, in a room right beside our altar. and where amber is, is pretty much right in front of it. maybe i’m just paranoid. but who can blame me, wouldn’t you get freaked out when dogs bark at seemingly nothing? who are we to know, anyway.. i think its time to go to bed.

is the color of the sky a different type of blue right before daybreak, versus right after sunset? when the dark of night starts to slowly fade into the subtle blue, is it the same color when the sun sets, only in reverse? something tells me that it might not be, due to the way the light hits the earth.. i was looking at how the blue increasingly started to turn into a pastel like tinge; maybe that’s just because of the presence of more light entering the atmosphere, versus less light when the sky wanes from red to blue to black. what the hell am i saying.

i was working from 9pm-5am tonight. nine to five like any normal human being.. except it was the complete opposite on the clock! was working for cita astals, a city councilor for manila, doing a rush design project needed to be done by tonight. while it was supposed to be an invitation of sorts for the groundbreaking ceremony of this new road, it ended up looking like a newspaper. that’s what she gets for being so rushed.. and i got paid peanuts too. i felt like i was in high school again, cramming another project. although it wasn’t a healthy habit, the life skills of learning how to work under pressure and deal with the omnipresent murphy’s law is priceless.

everytime i see barbie’s picture, it hurts. i’m such a sad, sappy little fool. who will be my medicine? who will be my poison pill?

i love barbie! not just because she’s pretty, but because she and her band is amazing with what they do.. its all inspirational. i’m a sucker for music. *siigh* she sings well, plays the guitar well, and writes amazing songs. i’m smitten. the chemistry they have as a band is amazing, and the music they play is probably the most genuine that i’ve heard in a really long time. for some reason, they give me a sense of what kind of person i’d like to be… having the capacity to be real at the same time inspired. she gives me an idea of what i want.. to be, and to have. thanks, barbie :)

alexis and cecile, sitting in a tree. :) therese flaked on me saturday night because of a pimple.. is that a valid excuse if you’re a chick? boo! anyway i’m glad i still went alone although i only knew eggy and cecile, its fun to go out alone sometimes and meet new people. cheers to that! yesterday ther and i drove down over to cubao in search for ukay ukay.. someone has to give me credit for my very astute sense of direction these days. of course there were moments when we didn’t know were the hell we were, stuck in the middle of a wet meat/fish market and all. thankfully, ‘bossing’ was there to point out where the flea markets were. wala lang. i didn’t buy shit cos i started to get allergies, and therese bought a shitload of clothes cos she thought the tag said P25.. she missed the 1 on it… P125. good job! ;)

i just got back tonight from saipan (that’s a picture of the sunset on the beach) and guam with my dad, to check up on business back there. chances are, you’ve never heard of guam, or even know where it is on the map. i don’t blame you. the last time i was there in 97, i swore it was a chunk of concrete in the middle of the pacific ocean. i couldn’t understand how people could live there. well, they’ve gone a long way since. the airport is peachy keen, there are tons of new developments, and the island is teeming with korean and japanese tourists. it wasn’t as bad as i expected it to be, although most of the time we were in saipan, which is an island 1/6th the size of guam. now that island is overflowing with tourists. one of these days i’d have to check out their beaches. i figured since we have business over there anyway, i wonder how it would be like to own beachfront property. wishful thinking. since its a tiny island, i’ve never really seen a longer horizon, with the absence of skyscrapers and flyovers that clog the sky.

i wish i were younger, so i know everything. i feel like the older i get, the more unsure i am of myself, the more questions there are to be asked and the more there is to be discovered. i guess i just have to get a grip on the spirit of my youth, and make myself in a brave new world.