2013-4: Meta-analysis part 1

Section A :Big changes going on over on the Rumorator twitter account. Yes, MFers this is news. Okay, maybe not news, but certainly it cannot be less important than Mercedes-Benz making a boring-ass ad with Rob Kingwell.

People be all like, “Oh, wolfism. Real original.” But you know what? Fuck’em. Everything has been done and the hackery is in the details. Three-wolf shirts? Over. But Jack London and White Fang. That scat is still as fresh as it was in 1906. We’re on the trail of something bigger here. WolfDog for sure.

It’s about the apex-predatory alliance. Dudes in India are faced with this this everyday: Do I want to be the Tiger, the most feared and elusive beast on the planet? Or do I want to be a Hanuman Langur? Shackled and made to do the bidding of the human hand that feeds me. If dude lived underwater, is he gonna want to be a mollusk? Or Orcinus Orca?

Apex predatory envy.

Man, I once had a dream I faked my own death to get a mamajama to pay attention to me and Micheal Ian Black had the role of fraudulent funeral director. Leading lady was played by Emily Z, who I knew from cafflick church in my youth. She was still rocking that eye patch she had to wear for a few weeks in second grade, too. And see, that put a lot of people off Emily Z. But last time I saw her, like a decade plus ago, she was Wisconsin-cute.

That is Apex predatoryism. Time isn’t even an issue. Even in my sleep. White Faang.