We managed to knock Chesterfield out in the North Final (which was ironic as they knocked us out last year) and booked a place at Wembley against AFC Wimbledon in the final... here's how it went:

Rochdale AFC vs. AFC Wimbledon (N)

Johnstone's Paint Trophy Final

Welcome to Wembley ladies and gentlemen, my name is Lucas Crosbie, and sat here next to me is Louis Ostrowski, and we're bringing you live Johnstone's Paint Trophy final action with Sky Sports X-plicit!

Thanks Lucas, Rochdale face my favourites AFC WIMBLEDON!

I like Rochdale, they should sweep this one up fairly easily to be honest.

Erm, how about no? AFC have done well to get this far, and Justin "Bieber" Credible is guaranteed to slip up tonight. Look at the shabby suit he's wearing, says it all.

That suit is made by Armani, is that shabby?

... Okay, HE's shabby.

Oh shut up and let's get the lineups up before the match starts... So, here are the lineups for Rochdale and Wimbledon for tonight!

Rochdale once again going for their predictable formation... AFC will destroy 'em.

No they won't, it's Rochdale who are going to win this match by a mile. Look at our attack and then look at your attack... 4-4-2, who even uses that anymore?

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but weren't you supporting Cardiff the other day? I'm sure it was you...

Cardiff? No I hate them, I've always supported Rochdale...

Oh my bad. Anyway, it's almost time for kick-off, Andre Marriner is the referee for this match, hope you guys enjoy it as much as I'll do if AFC Wimbledon win!

KICKOFF

(0')And we're underway at last. Poole kicks it back to Eastham at the back, who sprays it out wide to Hogan.AFC are all over the place already, get it together! Hogan passes back to Tanser after realising he won't get through, here's Tanser.Tanser tries to look for Poole in the centre of midfield but he loses possession, nicked back by Graham.What is he doing back down here? He needs to be further up the pitch, he's a striker. Can't even stick to a position properly...... Shut up. Graham smashed the ball up to Bahamboula on the right wing.Bahamboula does a Ronaldo chop and beats Naylor, he chooses to cross!Hogan with the ball near the box, what is he going to try...? He also does the Ronaldo chop and boots it!NOOOO WAY!!GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!! Golazo!, Golazo! God almighty that was awesome!!!What the fuck?!?! That wasn't even a shot!It's still gone in though! Scored at one minute and seven seconds! This could be a new record!

Rochdale 1-0 AFC Wimbledon Hogan (2')(5')Graham has the ball once again, I think he's playing Target Man tonight, compared to his usual poacher role.You don't say, Captain Obvious. Graham strikes a ball through the legs of Naylor, Hogan's making a run!Megged him haha, Hogan get's a hold of the ball and switches the play over to the right wing, Bahamboula's unmarked!!Ooooh, last minute save there from Sadler, wonderful tackle!That would have been a goal otherwise, your keeper is so shit that having no keeper in net would be better than having him in net.Shut up Lucas, at least AFC Wimbledon isn't a tin-pot club.Oh we'll see who the tin-pot club is tonight my friend, we'll see... corner kick.Swung in by Bahamboula, it's dipping, who can head it away?!EASTHAM!!!! OH MY WORD! ASHLEY EASTHAM WITHIN EIGHT MINUTES OF PLAY!! What a mighty header, towered over Mayor and headed it home...!! *Lucas stands up and prods Louis* IN YOUR FACE HOMEBOY!Fair play to him... I still think Rochdale are shit. Sit the hell back down.

Rochdale 2-0 AFC Wimbledon Eastham (8')(14')Here's Taormina with the ball... He's clear, he shoots...!!GOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL.....kick.He only lost concentration, the match isn't over yet! Come on Wimbledon, pull it together!Good shot there! I'm laughing my damn arse off here, that was Heskey quality!Shut it. Hasty kick taken by Chris Weale, can AFC counter back?Of course not, Rochdale still have the ball! Poole heads it to Captain Bennett, Bennett to O'Neill on the right.O'Neill tries to skill past Felnon, knowing that he can't...Erm, he clearly can... O'Neill crosses it into the box!Header by Graham, and exactly where the hell is that header aimed --TOWARDS THE NET! BAHAMBOULA! ARRRGHHHHHHH!! 3-0, 3-0, 3-0 !!! OH GAAAWWWD! AFC are going DOWN my friend!I have to admit, that was a good header... but not as good as the one's I've seen from AFC. I think I should be going home now, no point staying here is there?
Lu *locks door to outside and swallows the key* Sure bro, you can leave if you like.

Rochdale 3-0 AFC Wimbledon Bahamboula (14')(29')Here's Hogan once again, looking weak on the ball! Will he pass or will he be greedy like always?He loses possession... whilst trying to PASS. Here's Kennedy, to Rothwell, one-two back to Kennedy, can they make something from here?What a ball through to the left winger Mayor! The box is empty! Pell is in it alone with Weale!!!CROSS TOWARDS THE BOX!Pell with a clear diving header...!!......HAHAHAHA, what a hit lad, nice "goal" there!Shut up Lucas, everyone misses a chance, nobody's perfect! Oh so now everyone makes mistakes, do they? What happened to you insulting Hogan?What happened to you insulting Rochdale like you did last time?...... thought so.

(37')Rochdale concede a corner due to a missed back pass from Eastham!What are they doing down there? Credible must be furious at that... AFC are pushing up here.Naylor with the corner drilled into the six yard box!Ooooh just headed behind by Tanser, another corner!This time Mayor's going to take the corner... Mayor swings it in!Who can get to it?!NAYLOR!!! Naylor's done it!!! At Wembley! He's scored a goal at WEMBLEY! Cracking header there!It was a crappy excuse of a handball... That was a fucking handball! WHAT is Marriner doing?!Whatever's happened has now happened. Goal!

Rochdale 3-1 AFC Wimbledon Tom Naylor (38')(45')And it's half time here at Wembley, Rochdale lead by 3 goals to 1. UP THE DALE!Shut up Lucas. See you guys after the break!
*cameraman forgets to turn off mic, and Louis and Lucas can be heard having a little brawl in order to get the key out of Lucas' stomach...*

HALF-TIME

I made the players sit down around the dressing room and addressed them. "Come on lads, you're doing really well out there, let's switch it to a bit more defensive approach now, Poole and Browning have already picked up knocks but I'll see how they do back on the pitch." I hear a murmur of appreciation from them.

"You've been playing really well, especially you Plaisir. Now listen everyone. This is the ground which we will visit regularly in the future. This is the place where we will win FA Cups, and League Cups. It all begins here. Go on out there and win the trophy for the fans." Time was nearly up. I left the room for a toilet break before half time was over, because I didn't really want to shit myself if things went awry in the second half...

KICKOFF

Aha! Finally! I finally got the damn key.Careful, it's a bit sticky... I had spaghetti before i started commenating, and now you've just covered your hands with ketchup mixed with vomit. Well done, idiot.Oh damn the players are out! Get us back on air!!Hurry!

(69')
*yawns* This game sure has gone boring since half time, what have the managers said to their teams?!Whoa, whoa, whoa... Hold on a moment. Who the HELL is that?!What? Wait! HUH?!It's a streaker...HAHAHA Marriner's chasing after him! He's completely naked and he's got something painted on his back...
*grabs binoculars* I think it says TANAY and he also has the number 69 painted on his back as well!What the actual damn is going on out there?!Is it a coincidence that the match time is 69 minutes right now...?Haha, he's STILL running!Oh goodness gracious me, he's turned towards our stand... you can see his parts.
*groans* Somebody take him out already!Why have you got your eyes fixed on him...?I'm not looking at him, look! The police are onto him now!Hahaha, the police! There's about 20 of them!... OH GAWD he just got rugby tackled to the ground... They're covering him up with bin bags...!Goodbye Tanay. That was hilarious!!I hope people at home didn't see this...

(72')
Lu: After all that drama, AFC Wimbledon seem to have been playing better... They seem to be more motivated...What are you implying?Oh, nothing... It's Pell with the ball now.Pell slices it to Rothwell who first-times it over to Taormina... Taormina beats Tanser and passes it to Francombe, who is in the box!Francombe beats Eastham, makes space and --GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!! FRANCOMBE! Could this be our lifeline?! One more goal needed to equalise!Oh God no... not like this! I don't wanna lose everything I have right now!! Come on Rochdale, HOLD ONTO THE FUCKING BALL FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!Wait Lucas... have you betted on this game?I might have done... yes.How much?Everything I have... I'll lose it all if Rochdale draw or lose tonight.And if you win?I'll get a strip-club.... WTF.

Rochdale 3-2 AFC Wimbledon G. Francombe (73')(90+1)Oh my god, Tanser missed the pass from Héry! Taormina's making a damn run!! He's got the ball! You're about to lose my friend!Oh no, oh HELL no... please...He's alone! He's gone around the keeper!! Chris Weale has been left behind! Could this be the moment?!

*insert Gary Neville orgasm here*

YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's fluffed it! Oh my fucking Lord he's missed it! He's missed an open net!!No. That didn't happen. NOOOOOO!!YES IT HAS! Marriner blows the whistle and it's full time! Credible, Beckham and Cole are running onto the pitch to celebrate with the fans!!Gimme the key, I'm out of here.What a sore loser! Congratulations Justin Credible on what was a memorable victory over AFC Wimbledon! Thanks for watching Sky Sports X-plicit... I'm your boy Lucas Crosbie and that idiot was Louis Ostrowski...Ciao!

"im now in the premier league i got back to back promotions i am the greatest suck a poo" - PC Plod"Hatters gonna hate" - RicardoKishnaajacied"yh" - fzemdegs/Walter"When I was inside Feliks" - Walter"I don't Lloris" - Beloved Thong

The Awards

Golden Boot Award

The Golden Boot award goes to Scott Hogan for his 17 league goals. He was also on a long goal drought (hadn't scored for almost 22 hours on the pitch), but despite that he has still scored the most. Also, he was primarily used on the left wing a lot in the latter stages of the season, and if he had been used a s striker, he may have had some more.

Golden Helper Award

This defender (first choice left back) cannot defend for toffee. However, he was accustomed to the overlapping tactic in which full-backs overlapped the wingers before crossing it into the box, and it proved to be very effective... He had 15 assists this season, and definitely would have had some more had he not have been sidelined for a couple of months in total.

Best Signing Award

Steven Poole easily has to be the best signing award this season. He proved to be very effective when coming on as a substitute, and also when he was given a start in the league. He is a very versatile player and can naturally play in four different positions (AMC, AML, ML, MC) and is a superb free-kick taker. He is touted to be a future star of the Premier League. Want to know something even better? We got him for free.

Player of the Season

Rhys Bennett's natural game stepped up in January, when he was handed the captain's armband after the unexpected departure of former captain Robbie Thomson. Bennett felt the pressure of being the leader of men at the tender age of 23 years, but soon realised he was a natural leader and went from an average player, to the talisman of the team. He can only get better from this point onwards.

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