How to Get A Guy Out of His Shell

When you’re dating someone new, it’s an exciting experience; however, as exciting as it may be, it can still prove to be a bit of a challenge if he is a bit more reserved than you’re used to.

Once you are able to get him to open up, though, you’ll quickly discover that this new found intimacy will be worth the wait.

Here are 4 steps you should take in getting your man to open up and confide in you.

Step 1.

Let him be in his own element. What we mean by this is letting him be the person that he is. Everyone has a passion and they feel strongly about something or another. A guy will be more willing to open up and come out of their shell when they are immersed in what they enjoy doing. If he enjoys playing video games, ask him to teach you how to play. He’ll be thrilled that you are taking an interest in the game and this will be a good opportunity to segue into parts of his life.

Step 2.

How can you expect him to open up to you if you don’t open up to him? Communication is a two-way street and while he may not feel comfortable asking you personal questions, he will relax when you begin sharing aspects of your own life. For example, you can talk about the things you enjoy or your memories as a child. In most circumstances, he will follow your lead and start sharing his own memories and trying to relate. Keep in mind, this doesn’t mean you should lay everything out there on the first or second date, but feel free to keep things light-hearted and carefree until you’re in a position where you want to share more.

Step 3.

Speak his name often. While you may think it is awkward and maybe even redundant, it actually shows him that he is important to you, thus giving him more confidence. The confidence will go a long way in helping him come out of his shell and be willing to open up to you. If you have a cute nickname for him, don’t hesitate to use it. This can add some playfulness to any interactions and also help lower his guard.

It is best that you avoid any nicknames that could be mistaken for an insult.

Step 4.

Always ask questions that encourage a well-thought out response. When you ask him a question that can easily be answered with a one or two-word response, it sort of defeats the purpose of trying to get to know him. Instead of asking him a question that could be answered with a yes or no, ask him an open-ended question that requires thought and a few sentences. Plus, it also gives you the opportunity to add to the conversation and keep things going. Remember, the name of the game is to keep the conversation going so that he lets down his guard and opens up to you.