VITAL WOMEN

How to deal with your partner’s midlife crisis - ARTICLE

Most of the times, you partner does not even know what he is looking for. He knows however that what he sees around him is not enough.

He wants to more!

A midlife crisis is a positive awakening.

I know it can he hard to see it that way when you see your life long partner doing the most stupid and apparently crazy things.

However, look at it this way: a new source of power wakes up in him.

It’s not something which needs to be suppressed. If you embrace this change and go with it rather than resisting it, you will notice that it is a source of energy, change and renewal in both of your lives.

This does not mean that you need to get entangled into his dreams and new desires.

You want to protect yourself first.

This is why it is good to give him the space he needs! It will give you space as well.

Your goal is not to take in his moods and sudden passions.

Your first goal is to make sure you stay in charge of your life.

In a way, it is the right time to be super selfish.

That’s exactly what he does when he follows his dreams without consulting you: he thinks of himself first, right?

Dare to do the same. Think of yourself first.

Do whatever it takes to protect your career, business or profession, personal space, children, finances, etc.

This is his crisis, not yours.

Of course it influences you but you have no need to let it expand on all aspects of your life.

Let him go through his cycle (you won’t be able to stop him any way) but makes sure you protect what is yours.

His life is not yours. It is his.

You can’t control his existence, so don’t try to.

I know that if you are married, this already somehow breaks the marriage vows.

I agree! Nowadays, being married does not provide full long term security.

Anyone can break this agreement any time.

Now, what part of this agreement is he breaking?

He says: “I need space. I feel like I am about to explode! Something is happening inside of me and I have to listen to that”

What happens in him is the waking up of his instinctual nature.

Parts of him which went “quiet” for some time are now coming again to the surface.

You want to be a strong pillar in the middle of this emotional storm and make sure that his crisis does not take over your own reality.