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I don't use wax. Just buy a pair of nonskid shoes. Or instead of eating your boogers you could wipe them on your board and use that as wax
I garuntee you the people who would take your kook-torial to heart probably wear rash guards out to the bar or church ( im not talkin about a surfshop rash guard either im talkin about the ones u see people buy at wings) and boxers underneath board shorts.

Wax your board normally, let sit in sun for about a half hour, take 2 hands full of sand and rub on the deck of board and your ready to go surfing, promise you will not slip a bit.

Don't do this unless you are going bare back. You don't want sand anywhere near your rash guard and/or wetsuit--it's dirty. Plus, make sure you have large particle sand with small pieces of shells mixed in and always be sure to maintain full nipple contact.