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massage etiquette

I'm planning to get a massage from a local therapist that advertises massage for men. He is openly gay in his advertisements and lists erotic massage under his options. I've only had one massage before, so I'm not really sure what to expect. If I ask for an erotic massage is that expected to include a HJ, BJ, or other sexual contact. (That would be great, as I don't really have a regular sexual outlet).

Also what is tipping protol? (I'm in the USA) Are you expected to tip above his posted rates? If there is sexual activity do you add a tip, or is that an expected part of the package?

Re: massage etiquette

I'm a licensed massage therapist and people like him really piss me off. An "erotic" massage is nothing more than sex for hire. He's not a massage therapist. He's a prostitute. Now dont get me wrong. I don't have a problem with a consenting adult selling himself but don't call yourself a massage therapist. It cheapens my profession. Is he licensed, does he have malpractice insurance, where did he go to school? I really REALLY get tired of people coming into the spa where I work and they start acting inappropriately. I've kicked more than one person out for their behavior. I went to massage therapy school to learn how to help people relieve stress, prevent injuries and to treat injuries when they do occur. NOT jerk people off.

I know you said he lists "erotic" massage as one of his services. At least he's open about being a prostitute. I don't know if you tip a prostitute when your done or not. I've never used one. Tipping a legitimate massage therapist is appropriate. The amount depends on how much they charge, how long the massage session lasted and the quality of the massage. 20-25% of the charge is average. Frankly speaking the thought of going to this guy makes my skin crawl.

Re: massage etiquette

Originally Posted by frankie_hilary

You are expected to tip health professionals? :S I never heard of that.

It depends on the situation. If the massage took place at a spa or if the therapist came to your home then a tip is in order. If the massage took place in a doctors office or physical therapy practice a tip probably isn't necessary. Most therapists that work in a spa setting aren't paid the same as those that work in a medical office. They are paid less because the employer figures the tip as part of the therapists salary.

Re: massage etiquette

Originally Posted by Georgiadude

I'm a licensed massage therapist and people like him really piss me off. An "erotic" massage is nothing more than sex for hire. He's not a massage therapist. He's a prostitute...I went to massage therapy school to learn how to help people relieve stress, prevent injuries and to treat injuries when they do occur. NOT jerk people off.

Re: massage etiquette

Originally Posted by Georgiadude

I'm a licensed massage therapist and people like him really piss me off. An "erotic" massage is nothing more than sex for hire. He's not a massage therapist. He's a prostitute. Now dont get me wrong. I don't have a problem with a consenting adult selling himself but don't call yourself a massage therapist. It cheapens my profession. Is he licensed, does he have malpractice insurance, where did he go to school? I really REALLY get tired of people coming into the spa where I work and they start acting inappropriately. I've kicked more than one person out for their behavior. I went to massage therapy school to learn how to help people relieve stress, prevent injuries and to treat injuries when they do occur. NOT jerk people off.

I know you said he lists "erotic" massage as one of his services. At least he's open about being a prostitute. I don't know if you tip a prostitute when your done or not. I've never used one. Tipping a legitimate massage therapist is appropriate. The amount depends on how much they charge, how long the massage session lasted and the quality of the massage. 20-25% of the charge is average. Frankly speaking the thought of going to this guy makes my skin crawl.

Re: massage etiquette

Originally Posted by Georgiadude

If the massage took place at a spa or if the therapist came to your home then a tip is in order.
Steven.

As a Brit I find tipping very uncomfortable.
Over here we assume that the price advertised is the price we pay.
The only time this varies is in a restaurant where we do tip, but ONLY if the service is good, and then only 10-15%

I was in NY once when we had very bad service in a coffee bar and went to leave without tipping. The guy flew over to demand why we hadn't tipped. I said I refused to tip for bad service. He was most put out but why should I pay for shoddy service?

Re: massage etiquette

Originally Posted by LeicsDom

As a Brit I find tipping very uncomfortable.
Over here we assume that the price advertised is the price we pay.
The only time this varies is in a restaurant where we do tip, but ONLY if the service is good, and then only 10-15%

I was in NY once when we had very bad service in a coffee bar and went to leave without tipping. The guy flew over to demand why we hadn't tipped. I said I refused to tip for bad service. He was most put out but why should I pay for shoddy service?

In the U.S. most service industry workers count on tips as part of their salary. Many employers pay the employee less money per hour because the tip makes up for it. In many places restaurant employees are paid much less than minimum wage.

If you had bad service then you were right not to tip. There isn't any law that says you must tip. It's a show of appreciation for good service. However, if the service is poor it shouldn't be rewarded. If that employee you spoke about worked where I do he would have been fired for acting the way he did.

Re: massage etiquette

Oh. If he's hot then that changes everything all together. The rules are different for hot people than for the rest of the world.

It doesn't matter if he's hot or if he's not. If he's inappropriate then he's inappropriate. It's an abuse of his position. The therapists role is to perform the massage, not jerk someone off. It crosses the line and is unprofessional. It's also illegal. A couple of years ago a "therapist" was arrested for sexual assault. I dont remember the specifics but her actions caused the spa to lose it's license and several other employees lost their jobs.

As a therapist its just creepy and really frustrating when people hint at wanting it. It's not just men either. Ive had two women try to get me to do it. They flashed their breasts, moaned, spread their legs etc. The one actually told me I should stop by her house on my way home and she'd "take care of me." I told her we weren't allowed to see clients outside of the job. it puts us in an uncomfortable position. If it's the therapist hinting at it, they need to be reported and have their license taken away.