A little girl cried, "Daddy, Daddy Fluffy is dead." That's OK dear, the dad responded, Fluffy has gone to Heaven to be with God. "What would God want with a dead cat?" the little girl replied. -- Anonymous

Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravatiing, but it ain't so; itís the sickening grammar they use. -- Mark Twain, American writer

One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. -- Mark Twain, American writer

Beware of people who dislike cats. -- Irish proverb

No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens. -- Abraham Lincoln

We humans are indeed fortunate if we happen to be chosen to be owned by a cat. -- Anonymous

Any conditioned cat-hater can be won over by any cat who chooses to make the effort. -- Paul Corey

There is, indeed, no single quality of the cat that man could not emulate to his advantage. -- Carl Van Vechton

It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens that, whatever you say to them, they always purr. -- Lewis Carrol

A cat is always there when you call her, unless she has something better to do. -- Bill Adler

God gave man the cat in order that he might have the pleasure of caressing a tiger. -- Ancient proverb

To gain the friendship of a cat is a difficult thing. The cat is a philosophical, methodical, quiet animal, tenacious of its own habits, fond of order and cleanliness, and it does not lightly confer its friendship. If you are worthy of its affection, a cat will be your friend, but never your slave. He keeps his free will, though he loves, and he will not do for you what he thinks is unreasonable. But if he once gives himself to you it is with absolute confidence and affection. -- Theophile Gautier, French writer and critic

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human mind. -- Cleveland Armory

The smallest feline is a masterpiece. -- Leonardo de Vinci

When addressed, a gentleman cat does not move a muscle. He looks as if he hasn't heard. -- Mary Sarton

The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become a domestic animal. -- Sir Compton Mackenzie, English writer

Cats are mysterious folk. There is more passing in their minds than we are aware of. -- Sir Walter Scott, English writer

Purring would seem to be, in her case, an automatic safety-valve device for dealing with happiness overflow. -- Monica Edwards

All cats are possessed of a proud spirit and the surest way forfeit the esteem of a cat is to treat him as an inferior being. -- Michael Joseph, English publisher

A kitten is more amusing than half the people one is obliged to live with. -- Lady Sydney Morgan

A cat can be trusted to purr when she is pleased, which is more than can be said for human beings. -- William Ralph Inge

The smart cat doesn't let on that he is. -- H.G. Frommer

Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes. -- Theophile Gautier, French writer and critic

The more people I meet, the more I like my cat. -- Anonymous

Cats don't like change without their consent. -- Roger A. Caras

An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old. -- Carl Van Vechten

If cats could talk, they wouldn't. -- Nan Porter

A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it. -- Joseph Epstein

To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction, and a cat. The last ingredient is usually hardest to come by. -- Stephen Baker

The cat in gloves catches no mice. -- Benjamin Franklin, Statesman and inventor

Cat people are different, to the extent that they generally are not conformists. How could they be, with a cat running their lives? -- Louis J. Camuti, DVM

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. -- Hazel Nicholson

As we all know, cats now rule the world. -- John R.F. Breen

If you are worthy of its affection, a cat will be your friend but never your slave. -- Theophile Gautier, French writer and critic

There is nothing sweeter than his peace when at rest, for there is nothing brisker than his life when in motion. -- Christopher Smart, English poet

It's very hard to be polite if you're a cat. -- Anonymous

Unlike us, cats never outgrow their delight in cat capacities, nor do they settle finally for limitations. Cats, I think, live out their lives fulfilling their expectations. -- Irving Townsend

Cats are absolute individuals, with their own ideas about everything, including the people they own. -- John Dingman

I am as vigilant as a cat to steal cream. -- William Shakespeare (Henry IV)

I love cats because I enjoy my home; and, little by little, they become its visible soul. -- Jean Cocteau, French poet and film maker

Most of us rather like our cats to have a streak of wickedness. I should not feel quite easy in the company of any cat that walked about the house with a saintly expression. -- Beverly Nichols

Cats sleep anywhere; any table, any chair, top of piano, window ledge, in the middle ... on the edge. -- Eleanor Farjeon

A cat's got her own opinion of human beings. She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it. -- Jerome K. Jerome

When she walked, she stretched out long and thin like a little tiger, and held her head high to look over the grass as if she were treading the jungle. -- Sarah Orne Jewett

A man has to work so hard so that something of his personality stays alive. A tomcat has it so easy, he has only to spray and his presence is there for years on rainy days. -- Albert Einstein, scientist

It is with the approach of winter that cats wear their richest fur and assume an air of sumptuous and delightful opulence. -- Pierre Loti

If a cat spoke, it would say things like, "Hey, I don't see the problem here." -- Roy Blount, Jr.

Are cats lazy? Well, more power to them if they are. Which one of us has not entertained the dream of doing just as he likes, when and how he likes, and as much as he likes? -- Fernand Mery

Cats are designated friends. -- Norman Corwin

Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons. -- Robertson Davies

Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won't attack the mailman or eat the drapes. He may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling. -- Helen Powers

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? -- Steven Wright, comedian

A dog knows his master, a cat does not. -- Eleasar B. Zadok

They say the test of literary power is whether a man can write an inscription. I say, "Can he name a kitten? -- Samuel Butler

It is difficult to obtain the friendship of a cat. It is a philosophical animal, one that does not place its affections thoughtlessly. -- Theophile Gautier, French writer and critic

The cat is the mirror of his human's mind. The dog is the mirror of his human's physical appearance. -- Winifred Carriere

What if it was cats who invented technology, would they have TV shows starring rubber sqeaky toys? -- Douglas Coupland

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. -- Doug Larson

Cats are soft-furred mammals, who are mildly and clumsily predatory. They have anywhere from two to a dozen neurons. The baseline intellect of a cat has two states. (1) Chow state (feeding frenzy); and (2) Sleep mode (unconscious on your bed with whiskers twitching). -- Elaine Richards

A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten. -- Doug Larson

Kitten: A small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two. -- Anonymous

After dark all cats are leopards. -- Native American (Zuni) proverb

Cat: A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer. -- Anonymous

I am not a cat man but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance -- a sharp, vindictive glance. -- James Thurber

For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat. -- Anonymous

I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one. They are the cleanest, cunningest, and most intelligent things I know, outside of the girl you love, of course. -- Mark Twain, American writer

People who hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. -- Faith Resnick

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. -- Steven Wright, comedian

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -- Anonymous

His friendship is not easily won, but something worth having. -- Michael Joseph, English publisher

It is impossible for a lover of cats to banish these alert, gentle, and discriminating little friends, who give us just enough of their regard and complaisance to make us hunger for more. -- Agnes Repplier, American essayist

The really great thing about cats is their endless variety. One can pick a cat to fit almost any kind of decor, color scheme, income, personality, mood. But under that fur, whatever color it may be, there still lies, essentially unchanged, one of the world's free souls. -- Eric Gurney, American cartoonist and writer

The cat, like the genius, draws into itself as into a shell except in the atmosphere of congeniality, and this is the secret of its remarkable and elusive personality. -- Ida M. Mellen, American writer

Before a cat will condescend to treat you as a trusted friend, some little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of cream. -- T.S. Eliot

There are people who reshape the world by force or argument, but the cat just lies there, dozing, and the world quietly reshapes itself to suit his comfort and convenience. -- Allen and Ivy Dodd, American writers

Thou art the Great Cat, the avenger of the Gods, and the judge of words, and the president of the sovereign chiefs and the governor of the holy Circle; thou art indeed...the Great Cat. -- Inscription on the Royal Tombs at Thebes

For every house is incomplete without him, and a blessing is lacking in the spirit. -- Christopher Smart, English poet

Dogs have owners, cats have staff. -- Anonymous

In ancient times, cats were worshipped as Gods; they have not forgotten this. -- Anonymous

When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is always a hole nearby. -- Nigerian proverb

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they're subject to a good many ailments, but I've never heard of one that suffered from insomnia. -- Joseph Wood Krutch

Managing senior programmers is like herding cats. -- David Platt

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer. -- Bruce Graham

I have noticed that what cats appreciate most in human beings is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted, but their entertainment value. -- Geoffrey Household

If a dog jumps into your lap it is because he is fond of you. If a cat does the same, it's because your lap is warmer. -- Alfred North Whitehead

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. -- Mark Twain, American writer

Cats seem to go along on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. -- Joseph Wood Krutch

With the qualities of cleanliness, affection, patience, dignity, and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats? -- Fernand Mery

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. -- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat; and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch. -- Leo Dworken

The cat is domestic only as far as suit its own ends. -- Saki (H.H. Munro)

Cats can be cooperative when something feels good, which, to a cat, is the way everything is supposed to feel as much of the time as possible. -- Roger Caras

Like a graceful vase, a cat, even when motionless, just seems to flow. -- George F. Will

A cat has absolute emotional honesty. Human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not. -- Ernest Hemingway

By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will find themselves happier with a dog. -- Barbara Holland

There is, incidently, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. -- Dan Greenberg

A meow massages the heart. -- Stuart McMillan

Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this by all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll in a dead fish. -- James Gorman

I'm not one of those that can see the cat in the dairy and wonder what she's there for. -- George Eliot

If we treated everyone we meet with the same affection we bestow upon our favorite cat, they too would purr. -- Martin Buxbaum

Cats always know whether people like or dislike them. They just don't care enough to do anything about it. -- Winifred Carriere

If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence. -- Will Cuppy

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. -- Wesley Bates

The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. -- P.G. Wodehouse

A Cat's hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to easily go in one ear and out the other. -- Stephen Baker

My cat does not talk as respectfully to me as I do to her. -- Colette, French writer

The best exercise for a cat is another cat. -- Jo and Paul Loeb, American animal trainers and writers

Prowling his own quiet backyard or asleep by the fire, he is still only a whisker away from the wilds. -- Jean Burden

The mathematical probability of a common cat doing exactly as it pleases is the one scientific absolute in the world. -- Lynn M. Osband

Cats do not have to be shown how to have a good time, for they are unfailingly ingenious in that respect. -- James Mason

Meow is like aloha, it can mean anything. -- Hank Ketchum

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well. -- Missy Dizick

Sometimes the veil between human and animal intelligence wears very thin -- then one experiences the supreme thrill of keeping a cat, or perhaps allowing oneself to be owned by a cat. -- Catherine Manley, English writer

Most beds sleep up to six cats, ten without the owner. -- Stephen Baker

To err is human; to purr is feline. -- Robert Byrne

Of all animals, the cat alone attains to the contemplative life. -- Andrew Lang

We cannot, without becoming cats, perfectly understand the cat mind. -- St. George Mivart, 19th-century authority on cats

Most cats, when they are "out" want to be "in", and vice versa, and often simultaneously. -- Louis J. Camuti, DVM

The phrase "domestic cat" is an oxymoron. -- George F. Will

By associating with the cat, one only risks becoming richer. -- Colette, French writer

Intelligence in the cat is underrated. -- Louis Wain

Deep down, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them. -- Jim Davis, American cartoonist

Her function is to sit and be admired. -- Georgina Strickland Gates

I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through. -- Jules Verne

Of all animals, the cat alone attains to the comtemplative life. He regards the wheel of existence from without, like the Buddha. -- Andrew Lang

There is no more intrepid explorer than a kitten. -- Jules Champfleury

One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night. -- Margaret Mead

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. -- Jeff Valdez

In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats. -- English proverb

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. -- Ellen Perry Berkeley

One cat just leads to another. -- Ernest Hemingway

Cats are connoisseurs of comfort. -- James Herriot

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. -- Hippolyte Taine

The cat has too much spirit to have no heart. -- Ernest Menaul

Time spent with cats is never wasted. -- Colette, French writer

You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats. -- Colonial American proverb