Wednesday, September 06, 2017

Is It A Full Moon?

As I may have mentioned, I work part time for a Tire Company, and answer the telephone as part of my duties. As is typical when dealing with the Public, I get the usual number of... odd calls.

Some Really odd calls.

I think perhaps Today's may have broken the record, and I am including the time a young lady didn't pay any attention to my answering with the NAME of my business, and thought it was he plastic surgeon's office and proceeded to complain about her breast implants.

This time, a gentleman by name of Earl, called and proceeded to tell me, that he used to live in Holyoke, Mass., but now lives in Ohio, but a buddy of his told him that my TIRE company (owned by Doug and Dinsdale AKA the Pirhanna Brothers) could "help him out".

See, there was this guy, who is a Vet, but he lost his legs, and got bitten by a really Huge spider, and could we send him to Ohio to stay with Earl?

I... was slightly flabbergasted. I did ask him gently, if he realized this was a TIRE store, and he got a little cranky, and did rattle off our address. Then I explained that I really did not know who to direct him to, and he burst into tears and slammed down the phone. I don't know if I have been royally pranked, or if poor Earl is just really really confused.

Then another customer accosted me at the copier and proceeded to tell me all about her vacation, and the deals she got, and how she is going back again, and apparently most of her life's story. I had never seen this woman in my life, but sadly, this is not the first time a total stranger has picked me at random as a repository for whatever soap opera he or she is experiencing. I guess I just have one of those trustworthy sort of faces.

I used to work in a bookshop and had plenty of people asking the "Do you have that book by that person with that thing that happened in it?" type of question.

One chap arrived and asked for if we had book X (I forget the title) and while I was looking through the shelves proceeded to tell me how many years he'd been looking for it (this was pre-internet) how many bookshops he'd been to, how difficult it was to find this book . . . and when I said "Yes, we do, here it is," and handed him a copy, he was completely crestfallen, as though I had removed his sole reason for living.

I work for a state agency that regulates mines right now. A lady called into the office complaining that the quarry nearby (she wouldn't specify where) was causing sinkholes to open under the road for her subdivision due to their blasting. This was a surface mine, not an underground mine. And now the school bus won't drive down the road, and the kids have to walk a quarter mile (gasp!) down the road to get picked up, and blah, blah, blah. Basically wanting some excuse to try and make the quarry pay for road repairs.

One of my coworkers fielded the call, after 10 minutes of listening, and trying to explain that it wasn't the quarry, and we don't have any regulatory authority over roads anyway, he got fed up and said, "I'm sorry ma'am, but that's just not scientifically possible." She got angry and hung up.

We get a fair number of complaint calls which are just one neighbor trying to use us to harass another.

Dealing with the general public is just... so special. Seriously, Gary, how can someone be upset the they finally found their book? I have some titles inhale been searching for, for Years! I would be thrilled beyond belief!

And Calvin, what do you MEAN yoyo can't use your god given powers to help harSs the neighbors!

I answered calls for a store and got all kind of weird replies. My favorite were the obvious prank calls that think they can embarrass me or think it's funny when others hang up. I think I told you about the time I decided to answer all their questions frankly and they just ran out of things to say. Another time I was in a bad mood and I was so happy to have something else to focus on that I replied to their supposedly embarrassing question by saying:

"Oh hey! It's you! We've been wondering when you'd call back!"

Dead silence followed like the person didn't expect that and didn't know what to say. I cheerfully told them that we didn't sell the item they were looking for and to have a nice day. I was able to hang up before they could remember their prank. But yeah there were too many people complaining about stupid things.

I told this lady I was going to transfer her to the proper department and she got had a hissy fit. I mean she was so furious you'd think I was her childhood enemy or something. "Why can't YOU look it up on the computer?!"

I explained to her that while I could do that the system doesn't update fast so the item she wanted needed to be checked on the floor to see if it was in stock. Since I wasn't near it and couldn't leave my post I had to transfer the call. She started ranting like a lunatic about how it was my job to check and I couldn't be bothered to look on the computer. She went on forever claiming all she needed was to see if it was on the computer until I checked just to shut her up.

According to the computer we had it. There was a pause then she hesitantly and meekly asked to be transferred to the department. I was pissed, if she had let me do that in the first place instead of trying to demean me it would have saved us all that drama. I didn't speak for awhile trying to reign in all the things I wanted to say. I almost hung up on her and probably should of. When I'm mad it's not something I can hide in my voice. I hold her to hold, got a small thanks and didn't care if the proper people did pick up when I called them.

It surely does drive one to insanity. I had a woman call this morning, and went through my usual spiel when I answered the phone. However, I have been told that I sound like a recording, so when I asked how I could help her, she started muttering under her breath about "just wanting fucking service..." at which point I answered, " excuse me?"

About Me

I am a middle-aged suburban
housewife with four kids and a husband, two dogs and a cat who has trouble figuring out what the litter box is for. I probably have waaaay too much time on my hands. Actually, in updating this, the cat is gone, and most of the kids have moved out, but we still have all of their stuff, so it is a good thing that we have a big house. Also, I have become a Grandmother!