I’ve tried every diet – the best that works for me is to simply eat less and expend more calories. It’s rather hard though when you’re injured and aren’t up for a Pilates session. And if one lowers their caloric intake too much the body goes into “save yourself ” mode and actually slows down your metabolism. Well crap on a crutch just what I need; a slower metabolism. I have the metabolism of a turtle now thanks to thyroid disease and there’s that old witch menopause thrown in for good measure.

Devoted Spouse patted his little tummy this morning and made some passing remark about how he needed to lose that tummy – to which I responded “stop eating chips and snacks and cookies and ice cream” or something like that. But I have alot of nerve telling him to do that when I often find myself walking into the local ice cream joint and picking up a small ice cream cone I truly don’t need.

I seem to be playing around with the same 3 illusive pounds – they go up; they come back down; they go up, repeat cycle. Exasperating.

Now I have lost a considerable amount of weight over the past few years – but I truly would like to knock off another 20 pounds and I’m just having a terrible time.

The other day when I met up with my IT guru out at the base to hand off my laptop craptop, he gave me a big hug and remarked “You’ve lost more weight, you look great!” Wow, what an ego boost that was — I had shown up in a ratty tee shirt and a pair of shorts and I certainly didn’t think I looked great. But I realized for the first time I wasn’t embarrassed about going out in shorts – I now know I may not be skinny, but I don’t think people stare at me and point out of shock and awe that I’m wearing shorts in public.

I’m now using a new product on the market (yeah, I know, “sucker”) called Sensa. The idea behind this stuff is it is a chemical composition which you sprinkle over your food (much like salt or sugar) but it affects your brain by sending some type of signal through the olfactory system that you are full. Hence, if you feel full, you will eat less, and you will lose weight. It was developed by a doctor – but crap you can find any doctor now on tv shilling their particular weight loss products. Unfortunately, I had to try it. So far, I am eating less portion-wise, but I’m still grabbing the wrong types of food and that’s not the way to lose weight. So is it working? I don’t know. I need to make more of an effort to grab the correct type of food and then we’ll see.

I’m going to give it another one to two months – and I’m Sensa-ing I may have to cancel this order, too. Short of taking an electric knife to my sides and throwing the excess fat to the birds, I’m at my wits end on getting this next 20 pounds off.

Perhaps as I continue to heal I’ll be able to increase my exercise – right now walking is still painful and I can only go so far. The walking can’t be on an incline either (that lets out strolls around the neighborhood) so I “do” the mall and I’m hitting the treadmill keeping my walking nice and level. But it doesn’t burn up that many calories. I was so hoping “hot flashes” would burn up calories coz they sure make you sweat – but to no avail. What does come off goes right back on with that first glass of water.

It could certainly be worse – I could look like this poor woman – and why she agreed to have this picture made and distributed is beyond me – they must have paid her alot of money. I have nothing against being fat – I’ve been fat – I did not wish to remain that way, but if anyone wishes to “be fat and proud of it”, I’ll defend their right to their own choices in life, regardless of how healthy or wise those choices are.

I actually think the above is a rather cruel picture so I made it smaller. But I think there’s a point there to be made. It has a caption that says, “If you stare at them, you feel better about yourself.” I think that’s cruel, too, but probably all too true. I can’t tell you how many times Devoted Spouse and I have been out somewhere and we’ll pass some lady in tight sweatpants that look from the back like two cats in a sack fighting to get out and I’ll say to him, “Sweetie, if I ever look like that, please shoot me.” So we all do stare at people different from us and I will admit it. I will also confess to once upon a time walking into a room and wondering if I was the heaviest woman there — fortunately, I no longer feel the need to do that. But perhaps this young woman likes herself just the way she is, or she could have a glandular condition. It is all too true that fat people are discriminated against.

I think we all spend too much attention on how thin we should be. I like to think that it’s not so much the numbers – how much you weigh – as whether or not you’re healthy and feel comfortable. I’d feel more comfortable with another 20 pounds off. Interestingly enough I told my doctor I wanted to lose another 40 pounds and he said that was too much – that I should shoot for 20 and leave it at that. I wanted to kiss him – he didn’t need me to be skinny either, just healthy.

Sigh… I’ve asked God that if perhaps (who knows) he sends me back to earth to re-do this life, that he make me thin when I get here. I’m afraid that prayer may cause me to become a giraffe or a telephone pole someday. I also once prayed for just a touch of anorexia – just for a month or so. Stupid woman. Of course I’m just joking since I don’t believe in reincarnation and we know that anorexia is nothing to laugh at. In an earlier blog posting on weight I mentioned tapeworms – I still think that’s not a bad idea if only you could control the little buggers. Kidding….I’m kidding, no hate mail please on this or the pic of the heavy lady.

For now I’ll just concentrate on one day at a time; one meal at a time, sprinkling my Sensa on everything and trying hard to stay out of the cookies and ice cream. *sigh* Man, a margarita sounds good right about now…

8 thoughts on “Fat People are Harder to Kidnap”

It’s the alcohol that always gets me. And cheese. And chips. Oh crap just food in general. If it wasn’t all so yummy I’d be ok.There’s the secret – invent something that you put one drop onto whatever it is that’s bad for you but you adore to make it taste really nasty. That might work if you could ALWAYS associate that nasty flavor with, say, ice cream. Otherwise, I’m just doomed to starving myself and living off cottage cheese and sardines again. Oh somebody help me! LOL

Years ago, when I had a real job! I dictated all my letters and/or correspondence, then I handed them over to the steno-pool. Now with laptops, blackberries, Ipods….we all are in the steno-pool. Even the names sound lazy. Lack of exercise! Lack of exercise!Oh hon if I could exercise, don’t ya think I’d be out there running my a$$ off now? I can barely do the treadmill and thank goodness I have some isometrics and some rubber bands for home exercise or I would be just one big jiggle by now! LOL

Ah Linda, I am having such a battle with the bulge it ain’t fun. My antidepressent impinges upon my restless leg pill……..when they do as now, I am depressed, don’t sleep, sleep deprivation makes you go into starve body mode and it makes you eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat. I tire of all this let me tell you. Well when I was younger it was so easy to handle and my doctor gives me no understanding. It also effects many other things like temperment, sexual dysfunctions, dizziness, etc. Isn’t that so wonderful??? Now you take care cause you will make it down the scale. I don’t think I will……you will use something I lack:determination…..My best, Hugs, FrankOh swee’pea, I so empathize with you – the meds just make everything worse it seems – and my doctor will try something new on me that makes me gain weight and he’ll say “I’m not worried about the weight!” Well, dangitall, I AM – coz I’M the one who has to face the mirror and the self-loathing each day if I gain a pound. What a terrible waste of our time we spend agonizing over our weight – all of it is connected, isn’t it? Some days I can hardly get out of bed – but I simply refuse to go back on depression meds – I hated them; they made sweat pour out of me till my hair literally dripped – that was fun. Nope, I’m going to be thankful and grateful to God that I’m alive and just keep working away one pound at a time. Hugs!

I double dog dare anyone to be foolish enough to try and kidnap me – all I have to do is lie down and anyone that tried to pick my “fluffy” butt up will wind up in the hospital with a very bad back and they’d deserve it. :0)

We were on the local news for receiving the check and boy oh boy that camera put on at least 20 lbs and I’m sticking to that story baby! I’m actually super thin….heehee…OMG did u put a link to the station on your page – was your pic in the local paper? We want to see you receiving the check – I’m still just tickled pink sweetie-pie!

One morning a few years ago I got up very early to walk at our local park. I realized I was the only one there and thought “someone could attack me; there’s no one around” and then I thought “oh, no one’s gonna attack a fat woman” and I felt much better. It is more of a battle every day. I hate it.I can’t believe you actually thought that – been there sistah! It is a battle and I just think that naturally thin people are so fortunate because they have so much more time to concentrate on the important things in life – me? I spend every waking hour thinking about what I’m eating versus what I should be eating and just obsessing on how my clothes look on me, etc, etc, etc, ad nauseum. It’s very tiring. I’m beginning to understand that concept of large people accepting themselves for who they are, but I’m just not ready to give into it yet. I have to keep trying a pound here and a pound there. Gah….

The tragedy is that non-acceptance of large people has become a culturally acceptable form of bigotry spurred on by the media mixing contemporary ideas of ‘sexiness’ and the medical industry hype about weight that they use to help cover up their price gauging.

You are very fortunate to have a doctor who knows when to say stop. My father’s doctor kept him losing weight. When he needed an operation to possibly save his life they wouldn’t do it because he was so underweight that they were afraid it might kill him. So, he died instead.Oh Elena how tragic – I’m so sorry. There is no excuse for that – I hope you sued the pants off the doctor and hospital and anyone else involved. I think we’ve made alot of progress from the ultra-deathly skinny mode to the more healthy-looking mode, but there is still so much stigma attached to being overweight. I loved living in Belgium because I was surrounded by some lovely German men who absolutely adored women who had curves versus those who were ultra-thin. That was so nice to be appreciated and looked at as a lovely, womanly person. I came back to the States and realized the mind-set was soooo very different and it amazes me that people actually allow the media to dictate to them what looks good or what is right. Makes me so mad. I don’t even look at women’s magazines anymore or any type of fashion because the models have all been Photoshopped or airbrushed. Such nonsense.

Crone, I hear ya. I took 35 pounds off and 100 points off my over 300 cholesterol in the last 6 months. I decided it was time. I cut out all sugar and starches from my diet. I did absolutely NO type of sugar for the first 30 days in order to get my glycemic indexes back in line. Then I started adding in berries and some melons. Next I added some nuts and a few grains. I eat about 1200 calories a day but I eat all day long. I am never hungry, I don’t miss the sugar because I substitute fruit and some snacks made with Xylitol. If I get a craving for chips I allow myself a hand full of Trader Joe’s Soy Chips with homemade Guacemole. I’m telling you it’s the best thing I did for myself. Well that and Yoga three times a week. My stress is down, my cholesterol is down, and I feel much better. Oh and with your injury try going to a Medical Yoga class. They will teach you how to exercise without re-injuring yourself and your physical therapist will smile.Congrats – you are an inspiration! Never heard of Medical Yoga but I will definitely look into it. Sounds like you definitely found what works for you – I think cutting out the sugar and starches are just mandatory and I simply have to find the strength to follow through with this – coz that’s what is inhibiting my weight loss – too many “goodies”.

it’s the PMS that gets me every month. 10 days before, I get these mad cravings for carbs and sweets that effectively nullifies my stellar behavior for the rest of the month. And of course, my Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, which ensures that I will never be slim again :(My PMS days are now behind me thank goodness so I no longer get those bizarre cravings – mine was for chocolate! But, I too suffer from Hashimoto’s disease and it puts weight on you that never leaves, no matter how hard you diet – plus you have to take medicine forever. But I’ve still managed to carve off about 40 pounds in the last few years – it’s not nearly enough. But my body just doesn’t want to lose more weight. Ugh. I’ll keep trying though. Oh to be a slim teenager again! :)