tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6374238628559694652016-09-07T21:35:07.793-07:00yes, yes they can.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-34930451594287974492009-04-17T13:05:00.000-07:002009-04-17T13:08:25.487-07:00JACKSONVILLIANS!!<span style="font-size:130%;">Ok, so...who wants to go see Wicked with me?</span><br /><br />I'm in town the 8th through the 11th of May. These are the showtimes which might be possibilities.<br /><br />05/08/2009 - anything going on with the wedding on Friday night?<br />08:00 PM<br /><br />05/10/2009<br />01:30 PM<br /><br />05/10/2009<br />07:00 PM<br /><br />Let me know soon! There are only like, 5 tickets left or something.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-69412498348544852752009-04-15T10:09:00.000-07:002009-04-15T10:13:05.357-07:00I had a great weekend.Sunday was my favorite day. Mom and Dad came to pick me up for church in the morning. We went to the other Church of God in the Hampton Roads area. It's called Water's Edge Church. It was Easter Sunday, so I decided against wearing jeans. I wore a pink dress with flowers all over it, and a headband. Really? No, not really. I wore pants and a shirt. But my shirt was yellow...and cute! Anyway, we arrived early because we wanted to get a good seat. This allowed us time to chat with a few people. My dad spoke with an old friend, and it helped heal his heart. Soooo glad about that. The "worship" music was great too. The lead chick had a Taylor guitar, so much props for that. And they chose good songs. The preacher's also son sang a song that was extremely powerful. My mom and I enjoyed it immensely.The message from the interim was important and celebrated the awesomeness of Christ's resurrection.<br /><br />And then came the cool part for me. Dad went out to the car, mom went to the bathroom and I stood in the foyer waiting for mom. Now...let me explain why this was cool. As most of you know, I have been church hopping since June, trying to find a church family. I chose not to go to my dad's church for various reasons (having nothing to do with him), but I never wanted to try the other chog because it would feel like a betrayal of my dad. So, I've been to several churches including United Methodist, Unity Resurrection and Forefront (on the more contemporary side of things). Nothing has seemed right. I liked Forefront, and may go back again. But, the experience at Water's Edge has demanded I at least go again this Sunday.<br /><br />So, back to the cool part...I was standing around, waiting for mom when this chick came up to me and said, "Hey, I like your hair! It's all pixie like," with a big smile on her face…a welcoming smile. And she didn't just walk away, she asked my name. She introduced herself. She asked me where I was from and we had a conversation. She also introduced me to Sharon, who is like her second mother at the church. Other people gathered around and they started making plans to go out to eat after church. I had plans with the family for Easter, but I totally blew them off. Really? No, I'm kidding. But it made me happy to hear them planning to go out to eat, because I miss that. I miss Sunday after church. I miss having a church family. And I am sure the fact that it is a Church of God led to the home-y feeling as well.<br /><br />But, it also leads to questions. How much do they know about me? Do they know I was an ordained minister? The Church of God world is pretty darn small. How much do I reveal about myself, and when? I'm not just going to burst through the doors and scream, "Hey ya'll...I'm gay." Being gay is not how I define myself. I define myself as a Christian woman. And I just happen to be gay. I'm not living the "gay lifestyle." I don't believe such a thing exists, except in the movies. And to have this stereotype applied to everyone who is gay, is insulting and ignorant. I'm not having sex. I'm not dating anyone. I'm not even planning on it. All I am doing is seeking God.<br /><br />I'm trying to find where He wants me in this world; trying to understand this call to ministry; trying to understand His love and grace, and learn how to communicate this to everyone I meet. If I meet someone who I believe God wants me to date...then by golly...I'll go on a date. If he chooses a guy for me...so be it. If that is His will, then He will show me. I don't really see that happening, but I am allowing for the possibility. If He chooses a girl for me, so be it. I will still live my life as a morally responsible child of God.<br /><br />Do I believe homosexual relationships are sinful? It depends on the relationship, and on the people involved in it. It's not my job to judge if someone is sinning or not. Do I believe heterosexual relationships are sinful? It depends on the relationship, and on the people involved in it. It's not my job to judge if someone is sinning or not. The subject of sin is both simple and complicated. And I don’t have the energy to write about it at this point.<br /><br />But I cannot bring myself to believe that because someone is attracted to their own gender, that they are precluded from loving someone and being loved back. Being gay is not a conscious choice (for most). Being straight is not a conscious choice (for most). There is nothing I see in the Scripture which demands that we love someone of the opposite sex. There is nothing I see in the Scripture which demands that we do not love someone of the same sex. Yes, there are warnings against the use and purpose of sex. There are warnings about giving ourselves to something other than God and following our own lusts. There are warnings against overindulgence (in anything). And there are warnings against rebelling from cultural standards. But there are no warnings against love…as long as God comes first.<br /><br />I realize that most of you do not know why I believe that the Bible does not say homosexuality is sin. I do want you to know, but not because I want you to believe as I do. That’s not my job. I want you to know because I want you to know me. I love you and care about you. And I want you to understand this decision that I have made. I don’t want to be marked off your list of who you think is going to heaven (not that you should be carrying a list). I don’t want to be thought of as a sinner who just gave up on God. But most of all, I don’t want to lose your friendship, and your respect. So…just give me some time and I’ll post my reasons. But, right now…I just want to go to sleep.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-20512398880828346932009-03-26T12:49:00.000-07:002009-03-26T12:57:20.300-07:00apples and...cream cheese fruit dip.<br /><br />We had a wedding shower for Allison (a girl on my team) at work today. It was fun. I just met her a couple months ago, so I failed the Allison Trivia Quiz. But I wrote a poem that everyone liked, wishing her well in true mutual fund fashion. There are tons of apple slices left over, and I've been stuffing myself with them. It's better than eating the cupcakes my mom keeps bringing over.<br /><br />Mom came over and watched American Idol last night. I was about to fall asleep, so she went home before it was finished. I will watch the rest tonight. My brother has watched more reality tv since we moved in together than he would ever want to. But I think he enjoys it in his own way.<br /><br />I am trying out another new church this week. I've been to seven churches in the Hampton Roads area, and none seem to be a place to call home. It's frustrating. But I have been in dialogue with the pastor at the church I'm trying this week, so hopefully it will be a place I can get involved in. After so many years of ministry, it just feels weird to go to church and sit in the back. There's no one to talk to afterwards, no fighting over where to go to lunch, no hugs...I miss Northside more than I can say. I am hoping God leads me where He wants me. And I am hoping I will follow.<br /><br />I love you guys. And miss you terribly.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-12867534873400738302009-03-23T07:15:00.001-07:002009-03-23T07:17:50.915-07:00weekendThis weekend was pretty awesome. Erica, Nikki and Greg came over Friday night and we Wii-Fit-ted it up! We ate yummy nachos and cheescake, and did the hula. It was hilarious and so much fun! Then on Saturday, I did absolutely nothing...which was grand. Sunday I went to a new church. Still haven't found the right one. Then Erica and I went out to Mt Trashmore and roller-skated/bladed / longboarded. It was crazy. I haven't been on a pair of roller skates in YEARS! And it was quite obvious. We burned a lot of calories laughing though. Shawn and I went over to the 'rents house last night and played Rook. Good times.<br /><br />Break's over...that was my weekend in a nutshell.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-43920554934873643782009-03-19T13:16:00.000-07:002009-03-19T13:21:49.431-07:00surprise......I'm pregnant.<br /><br />uh...yeah, right. If you fell for that one - God bless your pea-pickin' heart.<br /><br />A lot has happened this past month. Moving to a new team was definitely the solution which was needed to keep my sanity.<br /><br />I'm actually at work right now, and just on a 15-er, so I don't have much time to speak. But, I expect I'll be adding something here in the next day or so. This will be a good weekend. And I'll try to share part of it with ya'll.<br /><br />Much love.<br /><br />Holla at me if you can.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-85959902192657141402009-02-03T05:11:00.000-08:002009-02-03T05:14:27.412-08:00crazy beautifulSo, I found the cd Brandi made for the "Captivating" retreat last July. It rocks. It's comprised of songs which remind us how beautiful we are in God's eyes.<br /><br />So, today...remember:<br /><br />You are crazy beautiful.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-19809730665322441992009-01-27T16:46:00.000-08:002009-01-27T16:55:55.280-08:00for a friendis it silly?<br />this rule.<br />Is it the remains of my teenage years?<br /><br />Is it outdated?<br />This conviction.<br />Or does it just serve to calm my fears?<br /><br />Where will this go?<br />What could this be?<br />Could he be the one?<br /><br />How will I know?<br />How will he know?<br />or is it just innocent fun?<br /><br />I made a promise<br />I'm sticking to it<br />Does that mean I'm a prude?<br /><br />Or could it be<br />a part of me<br />which I will save for you<br /><br />the one created<br />just for me<br />I will wait til then<br /><br />against temptation<br />against the odds<br />with God's strength...I shall win<br /><br /><br /><br />MA - I wrote this right after we talked on the phone. It was written quickly...and on post-its. It's definitely not good poetry, but you were on my mind. And this is what came out.<br /><br />Whatever you decide...know this: God adores you. He has wonderful, creative ideas for your life. Keep talking to him...and He'll let you know what to do.<br /><br />Much love.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-10783628821443228932009-01-27T05:10:00.000-08:002009-01-27T05:15:12.394-08:004 minutesI have four minutes before I start working. I am on my new schedule of 8:15am to 5:15pm. I get out of work a little later, and the traffic is a little worse. But not too shabby. I still get home in 25 minutes or less.<br /><br />I get to double team with a couple of my new teammates this week. Double teaming is where I sit beside them and listen to them take phone calls...and hopefully learn something. There is SOOOO much to learn for this job...it's insanity. But I love learning. So, it works.<br /><br />Lea comes to visit in three days! I am pretty happy about that. My mom is equally as happy. Can you believe my mom and Lea have never met? Hopefully we'll get to go to lunch together this week.<br /><br />Alright, four minutes is up.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-2050937553280896332009-01-15T07:02:00.000-08:002009-01-15T07:17:33.683-08:00I made it!Well...I made it to my new team. I made it through the "situation" and I am starting fresh. WHOO-HOO!!!!! I'm a little excited. Plus, I just had some coffee. I hope I'll get a chance to get to know my new co-workers. We have "Team Time" today, so I am hoping that will help.<br /><br />Today my old team is having a baby shower for Michele! It's exciting. We get to eat pizza. I love pizza. And my new team brought breakfast this morning. Yum.<br /><br />It is so nice to be removed from the "situation" and not have to be reminded of it constantly. I am hoping in the next couple of weeks I will stop thinking about it completely. How awesome would that be?<br /><br />By the way, in case you didn't know - God rocks. Check out this post...<a href="http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/more-jesus-less-religion/">http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/more-jesus-less-religion/</a> - it's so true. It's on a website for Christian lesbians. I used to think that term was an oxymoron. Not anymore. I really hope people don't forget who I am and just think of me as "gay" now. This has always been a part of me. It was just hidden. I am still the same crazy chick who loves God and people. And I'm still here for you if you need me.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-57370747947490201242009-01-12T07:04:00.000-08:002009-01-12T07:06:46.907-08:00back to workToday I went "title."<br /><br />I'm not sure what I was expecting. Maybe the feeling of dread which I have had in the pit of my stomach would be magically gone? And all would be well?<br /><br />Not so much.<br /><br />It's still here. But I'm hoping it goes away with my move to the new building.<br /><br />Please, go away.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-42000876358629422192009-01-08T10:34:00.000-08:002009-01-08T10:40:45.133-08:00time offI was off work last Thursday through Monday. I went to work on Tuesday. Now I'm off until Monday. And it's not because I planned a vacation. I haven't been doing well lately. HR is working with me, thank goodness. And they have allowed me this time off without penalty. Next week I am moving to a new team in a new building. And I am very happy about that. I am hoping it will allow me to have a fresh start.<br />I need a fresh start.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-54586420679569675462008-12-30T07:16:00.001-08:002008-12-30T07:20:13.373-08:00getting settledShawn and I are "title" into our new house. Our couch gets delivered today. Whoo-hoo! I think mom and dad are going to come over tonight. Hopefully they'll bring food. We have none yet. Still need to go grocery shopping. Then again, we don't have any plates or forks, etc. Anyway - I brought Ari home last night. She was pretty scared. She hid for about an hour, then found my room. She stayed in there all night, snuggling with my legs. Then she started knocking stuff off my dresser to wake me up. Punk.<br />Alright - break time is almost over.<br /><br />I'll post pics once we get it all coordinated.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-52197608610729434492008-12-24T07:03:00.001-08:002008-12-24T07:14:33.289-08:00Moving DayShawn and I move into our house in TWO DAYS! Shawn's going to get as much done as he can while I'm at work on Friday. And then Saturday we have a Uhaul and will move all the big stuff. And on Sunday we'll be sorting through all the crap we have stored at mom and dad's house and hopefully...throwing a bunch of stuff out. Have I mentioned that I'm excited?<br /><br />Lea is no longer moving in with us. She has decided to stay in California. Shawn and I were going to look for a third roommate, and still might have to...BUT...Shawn is going to start building computers and selling them. So, hopefully that will generate enough income to pay for a third of the rent. Yeah, that would rock for real.<br /><br />Christmas has been awesome this year. There's been a lot of Rook played and lots of laughs with the family. I know they'll be sad when we move out - but they'll be coming over a lot. And they have to get their house ready to sell too. It's actually been really great living with them. I was able to save some cash (and pay my bills). But it's time to move out and move on.<br /><br />Shawn and I are going to start trying churches once we get moved in. We're going to try to find somewhere that has the same theological views as we do. But...that might be difficult. Honestly, I just want to find a church family who will love me like Northside does. The Church of God and I differ on one subject, but I know I am still loved (by most people). The only thing that concerns me is how I will be accepted (or not) in a new church, not hiding my sexuality. And don't worry I'm not flaunting it either. No rainbow stickers for me right now. I am just happy to know how God made me, that He loves me, and that He has a plan for my life.<br /><br />I don't really know what that plan is right now, but I am looking forward to the adventure in figuring it out. I miss teaching. I miss my young adults. I miss music. I miss leading worship. I miss Northside. And I hope they miss me.<br /><br />I'll post pics of the house once we get it all in order. Ya'll know my odd sense of fashion, so it should be pretty interesting.<br /><br />Oh - and I bought a vacuum. SOOOO excited about that. I left my vacuum with Connie (hers had broken) and I miss it terribly. So, I bought a Dyson! Check it out:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Z0iDikbDcvA/SVJRl8SCbPI/AAAAAAAAADM/vUrVQgbSPxw/s1600-h/dyson.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 219px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Z0iDikbDcvA/SVJRl8SCbPI/AAAAAAAAADM/vUrVQgbSPxw/s320/dyson.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283375025137806578" border="0" /></a>Ok - that's all I got for now. Love you!Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-89414474667714651502008-12-17T13:17:00.001-08:002008-12-17T13:37:40.549-08:00My first home...kindaShawn and I signed the lease on our house today. We are looking for a third roommate! So if you live in the hampton roads area (or want to move there) and want somewhere to live for $600/month (utilities included), and have good credit...let us know!<br /><br />We are both totally excited. I love my new kitchen. Too bad I hate to cook. Maybe I'll learn to love it. Or at least try. Anyway - we need furniture. So, if you know of any free stuff, or good deals...tell us! We have a huge back yard and will be having cookouts in the summer. And after our housewarming party, our first big shindig will be a SUPERBOWL PARTY. Shawn has a HUGE screen and projector. And will have a ping pong table by then as well. It'll be good times.<br /><br />Anyway - this is just one more major change in my life. Not sure how much more I can take before I go completely bonkers. All the changes in my life are good, but so darn stressful. I just took a few of those stress factor tests about life events, etc. I scored over 300 on all of them. This means I am extremely stressed and have a high susceptibility to stress-related illness. Oy. But, it could always be worse, right?Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-31023147349316983672008-12-04T07:02:00.000-08:002008-12-04T07:18:40.211-08:00When I awake...Have you ever had something on your mind so much that it takes over EVERYTHING? It seems like no matter what I do, I still think about it. Sure, there are tried and true ways to "change your mind"...and think about something else. But they involve imbibing certain liquids and/or ingesting a creativity-birthing substance. Neither of which I am willing to do. So...I think. And I think. And it's starting to hurt.<br />And it's really not something I should be thinking about. It's not productive. It's not helpful in any way. I have tried to combat it by filling my head with the exact opposite thoughts. But it's not working so well. It's hard for me to make myself feel a certain way. Although I know it's best to just move on.<br />So, I ask for help. I ask God to take my mind somewhere else. And do you know where He takes me? To thoughts of the woman I want to be. Loving, honest, open, accepting, challenging, inspiring, hopeful, fun, loyal and servant-minded. Being this type of woman does not involve obsessing over something of which I have no control.<br /><br />I will not obsess.<br />I will not obsess.<br />I will not obsess.<br /><br />Lea bought me a magnet that says what's above - for our fridge. She knows me a little too well. Did I mention...LEA'S COMING TO LIVE WITH ME!!!!!Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-45713095795780386192008-11-28T04:48:00.000-08:002008-11-28T05:00:26.647-08:00email...So, my gmail account (which I use to sign into this blog) is <a href="mailto:revsmorgan@gmail.com">revsmorgan@gmail.com</a>. I'm not a rev anymore. The email address I use for everything else is <a href="mailto:pastorshannon@hotmail.com">pastorshannon@hotmail.com</a>. Some may say I'm not a pastor anymore, because I'm not recognized by a church body. But, I am still a pastor.<br />The revocation of my credentials will not prevent me from fulfilling the role God has for me. Although my role has changed a little bit. And just to quelch any fears that I am going to preach the "gay agenda" - give me a break. There is no "gay agenda." Gay people are just like straight people. Please don't stereotype us. We aren't trying to make everyone in the world gay. We aren't trying to destroy marriage. Straight people do a good enough job of that on their own. What I will be preaching is God's agenda...love. And love unconditionally. I believe God has a plan and purpose for EVERY single person. I believe He created us each uniquely to fit together and work as the body of Christ in this world. There are people who don't believe anyone loves them, let alone a God that some people say hates them. So I will preach and seek to live a life of love.<br />This will not stop my ministry. It will just change it a little. And I'm getting quite used to change.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-66092786903445541742008-11-27T08:38:00.000-08:002008-11-27T08:40:39.400-08:00I am no longer ordained in the Church of God. I realize they had no choice but to revoke my credentials, given my position on homosexuality. But, it still hurts. That's all for now.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-63772981902086433942008-11-24T07:04:00.000-08:002008-11-24T07:15:45.077-08:00House and Church HuntingFor the past couple of days my brother and I have been looking for houses to rent, since LEA IS COMING TO LIVE WITH US!!!!! My brother fell in love with one house...and I'm thinking that's the one we'll go for...cause he's kinda stubborn that way. Anyhoo - it's a pretty darn awesome house. I've been reworking my budget so I can afford it. It's good times. Since Lea and I both have motorcycles I probably won't want to sell mine anymore - no one wants it at this time of year anyway. But - I may end up having to - who knows?<br />Anyway - this was a spectacular weekend. I got to talk to Alicia and she finds out if it's a boy or girl this week! Bad news though...Big Boy had to be put to sleep. But he was like 15 years old, and his name no longer made sense since he lost like 20 pounds. So sad...he was a sweetie.<br />I should find out this week what will happen with my credentials. I'm positive they'll remove them, or ask me to surrender them. The process is the only thing I want to know about.<br />I talked to Dana for ten minutes yesterday. It was the longest conversation we've had since the divorce. It was kinda normal...not exactly sure why. Maybe cause I came out.<br />Anyway - I chose a church off the internet to try this past Sunday. It was a United Church of Christ. So, I go just in time for the service, walk in, and realize...I am the only white person there. I haven't been to a black church since Dana's grandpa's funeral. It was awesome! I got hugs and handshakes and about 25-30 people told me they were glad I was there. And about 5 asked me to make sure and come back. I felt welcome there. I desperately want to find a church home. I don't think it will be at the UCC, but once Lea gets here, we are all going to look for a church to go to. A Christian, loving, liberal church. And yes, Shawn said he will go. That would rock.<br />My break is almost over, so I may finish up later. Or this may be all you get...relish it.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-41213214006793694152008-11-21T12:14:00.001-08:002008-11-21T12:21:27.213-08:00for the first time...in a long time...I feel happy.<br /><br />I walked out my door this morning at 7:25am and it was snowing! And it was gorgeous! It continued to snow and when I got to work, it was actually sticking on the ground. Then it went away. And at lunch time - it was snowing bucket loads! It was amazing. Me and a couple girls went out and frolicked in it. So much fun.<br /><br />Shawn and I are going to drive around Chesapeake tomorrow and check out houses for rent. Have I mentioned that LEA IS COMING TO LIVE WITH ME!!!!! And my brother too, by default. I can't tell you all how much it will help to have a friend here. It's been hard for me to make friends - crazy, huh? I just go to work and come home and play guitar. I went to a church that I really like and will be going back to - so I am hoping to make friends there. But it's awkward to make friends at work - and difficult to have meaningful friendships there.<br /><br />Anyway - today I am happy. Thank you God, for the snow.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-757710059624320652008-11-20T10:39:00.000-08:002008-11-20T10:51:51.143-08:00i got better (in a british accent)So, my brother and I went to see <strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Spam-a-lot</span></strong> last week. Huh-larious! I wasn't sure what to expect. And right before it started I admitted to Shawn (said brother) that I had never, in fact, seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail all the way through. Sure, I have seen all the main parts, e.g. The Knights who say Ni, the Black Knight, the Three Questions, etc. So, after he scolded me thoroughly I got to see a crazy Broadway play that actually rocked. They added in this character called, "Lady of the Water," and she killed it...in a good way. And we all ended with the chorus from the end of the Life of Brian.<br /><br />"Always look on the bright side of life..." (whistling)<br /><br />As I have been sitting these past couple of days, wallowing in self pity, I haven't done much whistling. So, today I have decided to whistle...much to the dismay of my co-workers. Alright - well, maybe I'm not really whistling. But I am trying to whistle on the inside. I won't find out until the end of next week whatever decision they made about my credentials. I hate waiting. I don't even know why I am nervous. I know what will happen. I just want to read it and have it be final...so I can move on.<br /><br />Anyway...this has been a friendly reminder to ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE!Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-25535695388952315402008-11-18T07:00:00.000-08:002008-11-18T07:10:47.651-08:00rejection...is no fun.<br /><br />To be rejected by people you love is very hurtful.<br /><br />Being rejected by people you don't love isn't as bad...but it still hurts.<br /><br />The negative effects of these last few months are catching up with me. The unconditional love and acceptance I have felt from some of my friends and family has been enough to get me through to this point.<br /><br />But right now...it doesn't seem like it's enough to quelch the pain.<br /><br />Sorry...no positive ending for this post. Just don't feel like it.Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-91759190886003696982008-11-10T09:45:00.000-08:002008-11-10T14:45:49.657-08:00confidenceI recently realized I have way too much confidence. I think I'm a great person. I'm smart, funny, and quite unique. I'm honestly a great catch. I am loyal, thoughtful and caring. These are truly great qualities- but I tend to take them to the extreme. I'm loyal (to the point of stupidity), I'm thoughtful (to the point of moron-ocity) and I care about people (way too much).<br /><br />Nobody wants to be someone who annoys people. Nobody wants to be clingy or needy. But I am...we all are.<br /><br />As humans, we all have this built-in need to be loved. Just as God is in Himself a relational being, so is His creation. We are all made to be loved and to love in return.<br /><br />The cool thing is, we are loved fully and completely by God. We don't "need" anyone else's love. But we crave it. And that craving can either lead us to complete satisfaction or utter destruction. It all depends on where the love comes from. If love is an expression coming from the reality of God's love for you - it will bring you more satisfaction than anything but God Himself. If love comes from the part of us that doesn't know God's love - it will bring more destruction than hell itself.<br /><br />I'm aiming for the satisfaction. How bout you?Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-25658162518833718162008-11-03T15:16:00.001-08:002008-11-03T15:16:25.373-08:00Don't forget to...<strong><span style="font-size:180%;">VOTE!!!!!</span></strong>Shannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-50341722579923101102008-11-02T10:16:00.000-08:002008-11-02T10:19:00.504-08:00Normality…what a concept.I am not normal, nor was I made to be<br />This human shell which covers, the living, breathing me<br />Shows whoever watches, the inner workings of<br />Insanity, defiantly, multiplied by love<br /><br />My wishes sometimes go, beyond my crazy self<br />To have a normal life…friends, family, health<br />Would seem to be a goal, one would wish to have<br />To be piece of a whole, or even just a half<br /><br />Of what our modern culture, deems to be okay<br />To open up my mouth and scream that “I am gay!”<br />Would that make any difference, would anybody see?<br />What it means, how it feels, to act-ually be me?<br /><br />I tried hard to conform, to standards set before me<br />I sacrificed, I hid my self, ignored and cursed my feelings<br />And yet they never changed, if only they would have…<br />To not have had to tell, my family…mom…and dad<br /><br />“Hey, guess what? I am gay.” And hope that they would not<br />Be like all the others and live as they’ve been taught<br />To ostracize the different, to illuminate the truth<br />By spotlighting the darkness, and showing them the proof<br /><br />That who they are is wrong, that how they feel is sin<br />That in order to be loved, they just have to give in<br />To what the Bible “says,” no matter what it meant<br />At the time when it was written, before it was in print<br /><br />You must obey the word, the living sword of God<br />Don’t look too close at what, the author’s intent was<br />Take it as it is, and we’ll take you as you are<br />As long as you don’t live it out, or take our grace too far<br /><br />If grace can go too far, how can it really be...<br />Grace? The free gift of God, for everyone, for me?<br />To love without condition, to live without remorse<br />To not just fall in line, is to carve out my own course<br /><br />And live as I was born, to be JUST AS I AM<br />A child of God, loved, forgiven,<br />To just be simply…<br />ShanShannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-637423862855969465.post-1757057779007062432008-10-28T09:51:00.000-07:002008-10-28T09:55:58.894-07:00I'm out ya'll...I recently visited Jacksonville for the purpose of coming out to all my friends face to face. If somehow I missed you - I apologize. I have come out to the credentials committee of the Church of God as well. A copy of the letter is below. If you guys have any questions, please feel free to ask.<br /><br /><strong>To the Credentials Committee of the Church of God:</strong><br /><br />I am writing today for two reasons. First, I have recently received notification that my ordination is now official, and I want to thank you for bestowing this honor upon me. It has been a long road and I have worked very hard to ensure I will be a good representative of Christ and the Church of God. Second, I am writing to make you aware of a recent development in my life. For the past few years I have been studying a particular theological issue and have come to the conclusion my previous beliefs were misaligned. It is my understanding that the Church of God believes homosexuality, and its practice, to be a sin. I no longer believe this to be true. I do not believe the Church of God has treated the biblical passages on this issue, as they treat other passages. For example, Paul’s view on women speaking in the church, when taken literally, would prevent my ordination on the basis of gender. However, the Church of God Reformation Movement has chosen to interpret the scripture through the culture for which it was intended and has thus ordained women since inception. I believe the same needs to happen for the biblical passages dealing with homosexuality. It is not my intent to write a treatise on the subject as this point. My purpose for writing today is to make my theological position known to the committee. However, as a starting point I will direct you to “What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality,” by Daniel Helminiak, Ph.D., “Jesus, the Bible and Homosexuality,” by Jack Rogers, and “The Augmented Third Edition of the New Oxford Annotated Bible,” NRSV.<br /><br />I feel I must also make the reason for my study of this issue known. If it were not for my personal experience I would have taken it for granted that the scripture is to be interpreted literally on the subject of homosexuality. However, my life experience and relationship with God have taught me otherwise. I have known since I was five years old, when I accepted Christ as Savior, what it means to be a Christian. I have also known since the age of 13 that I am attracted to women. Because I have grown up in the Church of God I have been taught homosexuality is sin. So, I treated my attraction as sin. I denied it, I ignored it, I cursed it, and I rejected it. I asked for forgiveness, cleansing, and begged God to take the feelings from me. I prayed, I read Scripture, and I fasted multiple times. Yet my attraction remained. So, I continued to ignore it and prayed for strength to be a straight woman. As you know, I even denied it to the point of getting married to a man. I honestly did love Dana with all my heart and if it weren’t for his choices I would have stayed by his side forever. However, since he did not choose to work things out, I found myself alone with God. After the divorce, my feelings seemed to magnify as I found myself completely free. My struggle became more pronounced. The trauma of the separation and divorce forced me to deal with the issue I had been pushing away for 12 years.<br /><br />At this point I started to see a professional counselor. My ordination interview was coming up and I did not want to go through with it knowing how I felt, and also knowing the position of the Church of God. I did not want to hide anything from the committee. At this point I was still struggling to reconcile my faith and my feelings. As my counselor and I worked through some of these issues, I decided to go through with the interview. Ordination in the Church of God has been a goal of mine for quite some time. I know I am called to ministry, and the Church of God is where my heart lives. I am proud to call myself a Church of God minister. But I need to be completely real about who I am.<br /><br />I am gay. It is not by choice. If I believed there was any way to rid myself of this, I would. I have tried it all. I have tried ex-gay ministries, I have tried complete ignorance, and I have tried complete surrender. This is who I am. This is who God created me to be. I know He loves me, just as I am. And I believe that I was made this way for a purpose. The damage, which has been done to the homosexual community in the name of God, is sinful. Gay people feel judged, condemned, and damned to hell without even stepping foot in a church. And some believe God feels the same way about them as the church does. If something is not done, they will never have the opportunity to know His love. And, everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, is loved fully by God. It is our responsibility as Christians and as ministers to show the love of God to the gay community. I believe I am called to minister to all God’s children, including those who have been rejected by “well-meaning” churches.<br /><br />I know how it feels to be afraid of who you are, and afraid of how you feel. I know how it feels to believe you cannot be gay and a Christian. For a long time I believed I had two choices. I could either continue in ministry and not be gay, or I could be gay and leave the ministry. I was unable to reconcile the two. As I studied the Scripture and attempted to understand, I also stopped talking to God. Since He is the ultimate authority on matters of morality, I was afraid if I talked to Him He would reject me. I believed He would convict me and be disappointed in me. So, I did not speak to God for over a year. When I started seeing the counselor the first thing she told me to do was talk to God. When I did, I heard these words clearly, “Just let me hold you.” I felt God’s love and acceptance. As the Holy Spirit and I have worked through interpreting scripture and grown in our relationship, I now believe being a gay Christian is not a contradiction. These three things I know to be true. I am a Christian. I am gay. And I am called to ministry.<br /><br />I do not know what the outcome of this letter will be. My inclination is to believe the committee will vote to retract my ordination. I hope this is not true. I am still the same person you interviewed and have known all these years. I am the same person you have entrusted with the title Reverend. It is still my intention to minister within the Church of God Reformation Movement. However, I will be ministering as God has made me. I can no longer deny who God has created me to be. I do not believe it is a sin to be gay. I do not believe it is a sin for me to be in a relationship. I do not believe this is inconsistent with the teachings of Jesus Christ or other clear teachings in the New Testament. If it is the position of the committee that to be gay is sin, then I will gladly give up my ordination and seek to minister elsewhere. I ask that you receive this letter with open hearts and minds. As written, in “Our Beliefs,” on the Church of God website:<br /><br />“There is room for differences of opinion in the fellowship. Perfect agreement on minute details of doctrine and practice is not required. An open mind and an open heart are characteristic of a vital group of Christians.”<br /><br />I look forward to a response from the committee with a prayerful heart,<br /><br />Rev. Shannon MorganShannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01310605235412995200noreply@blogger.com8