Month: January 2015

I am blessed to live in what I consider to be one of the most beautiful parts of the world. And, the valley I call home is one of the most amazing of the beautiful. It can also be harsh and unforgiving territory. A raw and wild part of nature surrounds us here. Part of the beauty here is that you appreciate every serene moment knowing that the weather can change in a 5 minute span. This winter has been no exception to that with bitter cold one minute, snowdrifts that stand above knees, rain and sun are just an hour around these parts.

Recently, I was heading home from my daughters ballet lesson. It’s about a 30 minute drive in the winter (read:I drive like I am 90 on potential ice). When we left the house it was sunny and gorgeous. After a couple of hours we were headed home in what was now pitch black darkness. It was icy enough that with every turn the road made my vehicle was sliding just enough that the kids noticed my tension. My oldest asked what was wrong and I answered her that the roads were bad and I needed to concentrate. I heard her instruct her brother and sister to be quiet…and she started to quietly sing songs with them to keep them busy. (This girls maturity often leaves me stunned.)

There is a stretch of road we have to travel often that is notorious for it’s iciness and danger. There are often accidents in that stretch and I hate driving on it in winter. However, in order to get home we have to cross it. locals call it the “S curves” as its a fast stretch of road heading over a river at the base of a hill. The road itself is a large “S” shape: thus the name. This curve is dangerous. It is also BEAUTIFUL. One of the most stunning landscapes in the area. It also is home to a VERY large lit cross atop a hill. It is a local landmark, placed in memory of a son who was killed on that stretch of road. The cross has been there longer than I have.

It my “safety” as I drive around those curves. At the foot of the cross I am almost home. I have often said to my children “watch for the cross” as a way to let them know we are almost at the end of our journey.

This particular night as the darkness and fog surrounded us, I realized before hitting the curves that the highway lights were out. It was starting to blow snow and honestly, the air in the car was a little thin. We were all on edge. and then my oldest stopped singing and I could hear the sniffling that signals her tears ( she silent cries when she is tense). It was then I heard myself say “It will be OK baby, as long as we can see the cross, just focus on the cross. And pray honey, just pray. Jesus is right here .”

Suddenly, my own tears threatened as I was broken with the realization that I need to remember that in my own life.. not just in some scary stretch of road but, in everything I say, do, think. With every fear if I could just hear Jesus saying ” It’s OK, daughter. Keep your eyes on the cross. Focus on me, I am RIGHT HERE. “

Right now, in this moment, weeks later, I am still stunned and the tears are falling on my keyboard. What an amazing gift. His cross. A reminder of safety. A reminder that death is defeated. A reminder to live in the freedom given by this priceless gift.

I’m not really sure what to say. It feels like a lifetime since December began. The span from December 30-February first always feels like I am living in some sort of grey snow globe that some maniacal kid keeps holding upside down just to see if I will get dizzy. And not the snow globe with pretty sparkly swirling snow…we’re talkin’ the cheap ones with the big chunky snow that looks like dried up cottage cheese. January is supposed to be a time of renewal but, for me…January is about surviving. Surviving the back to school grouchiness. Surviving the alarm clock (which is set 20 min. earlier than it was at the start of December because “this year you will be more motivated”). Surviving the after Christmas cleanup. Surviving the ice. Seriously, folks, I so loathe driving and walking on ice. I feel like that little blue haired old lady who shuffles along. My fast, long stride gets replaced with this slow shuffle head down and onward like every step may cause certain death. If you have ever fallen on ice you know why. January is survival. I try not to write much because it comes out sounding like I hate life vs. jumping into life with abandon. I try no tot talk to anyone or make eye contact just in case they see how desperate I am for spring. I am pretty sure anyone looking into my eyes sees a cold deadness echoing the dirty snow piles along the side of the road.

January is SUPPOSED to signal change. so, here is my change…

1. I will smile this January. Sometimes it will look more like the joker or a creepy clown. I have read it takes less muscles to smile than to frown though so I am gonna give it my best shot. Sorry if I scare you.

2. Coffee…I told myself I would drink less coffee and more water. I mean, plain water that hasn’t been run over coffee grounds type water. I even bought a fancy glass eco-friendly water bottle to take with me places. I wonder if it will freeze when I leave it in the car forgotten? See, coffee doesn’t freeze. At least mine doesn’t. It’s gone before it even cools.

3. I am going to go to bed at a decent time. Like, before 1 am

4.I am going to enjoy the snuggle time with my kids. We did lots of that over their break and MAN,I LOVED it. I think it’s worth whatever doesn’t get done. You don’t see many pre-teens or older snuggling their mommies. It’s a phase. And I am going to embrace the phase.

5. I am going to get creative. I used be a sorta crafty-artistic person. Oh, I am not like, some super talented aficionado of art or something. But, I think more clearly when my hands are busy. So, husband, get ready to spend some money on grown up art supplies.

6. I am going to live out Titus 3:1-2 to the best of my ability. “remind the people to respect the government and be law-abiding. Always ready to lend a helping hand, no insults, no fights. God’s people should be big hearted and courteous.” (The Message version). It’s our 2015 family verse. I feel like if this is my goal and I strive to do my best at it then everything else will kinda fall in place. I don’t plan to be perfect at it but, I am not planning to fail at it either.

What about you? What does January look like for you ? Do you make resolutions? Do you love the start of a new year?