Girlie Brain vs. Non-Emotion Having Brain!

First I want to say that this story/dilemma/mind fuck is totally about one of my “friends”… Nah mean jelly bean. On with the story…

Once upon a time there was a girl named Awesome (you know my “friend”) and she met a boy named Boy (I know not creative but just go with it) a long long time ago… Let’s just say about 10ish years ago (this is about freshman or sophomore year in high school). Awesome met Boy through a mutual friend, and at that time they only hung out in a group, never one on one. Which was totally fine with Awesome because she just wanted to get out of her house because my parents were super strict( I mean HER parents were super strict).

As the years went by Em… I mean Awe and B became better friends. Awe started to realize that she was developing more than friends feelings for B, and she started freaking out because this couldn’t happen to me I mean her we were becoming besties. By my… Her senior year she accepted the fact that she had actual feelings for Boy, but never said anything about it because she isn’t good with feelings. Some might say she has no feelings, or what I like to call it “a boy mentality”. She doesn’t like to let those girlie feelings out because she feels like she’s the one that has to be the happy non complicated person. Little did she know it’s not always so easy peasy. After her senior year Awesome moved away to a far away land called Connecticut… About two to three hours away (depending on traffic and all that good shit) from her hometown. While she was away she gradually got over her feelings for Boy, but they always tried to keep in contact with each other for the sake of their friendship.

See the best part of their friendship is the fact that we I mean they could be themselves with each other. They have no judgment towards each other and ,well from Awesome’s side, always trying to tell the truth… As long as it doesn’t involve her feelings obviously. They talked about everything under the sun. Even the most random shit you can and sometimes can’t ever possibly think of comes up in conversation. Those were the best conversation they had. They never knew what the other would say and that was the best part of their friendship.

Fast forward about six years, both Awesome and Boy have been friends for about 10 years (or 11 years I can’t really remember) and things are as usual, every couple of weeks sometimes months (depending on our I mean their schedules) they would get together to go see a movie or have dinner and all that jazz. Ever since they started hanging out more Awesome’s friends started to tell her that they think Boy has more than friends feelings for her. Of course Awe being Awe she brushed it aside because she didn’t want to deal and denied it. She never believed what her friends told her because she always felt that her and Boy were just friends and nothing more.

After a couple of years of hearing the same thing from her friends, she started believing her friends a little. Now her girlie side is starting to come out and confuse her. Does he like her like her or does he just like her as a friend and person. This is where the confusion gets confusinger for her.

Sometimes he would text her that tell he L-word her (you know love) either when inebriated or on a holiday. The first time he said it she freaked out because he had told her he was drunk. Of course because She doesnt know how to deal with this she goes to her friends. Oh and do her friends tell her that that mofo loves you man. Which my I mean her come back was always no it’s not like that he loves me as a friend we’ve know each other for a long time… We’re practically best friends. It’s the same way I love you sluts. Which of course their response was shut your filthy whore mouth he loves you.

So now My normal everyday boy thinking mind is in a constant argument with my girlie side. My normal side is like dude don’t get worked up about this, you know it’s not like that and he just loves you like a friend loves another friend. While my girlie side is like bitch listen to your sluttie ass friends, he wouldn’t be telling you he loves you when he’s drunk or on holidays (okay maybe on holidays because you know it’s a holiday that’s where you remember the love/hate you have for your friends and family and all that good shit), but that whole drunk words are sober feelings crap would pop up. Then my normal side would prevail and be like “mofo when your drunk you go around telling everybody you love them and you even hug freaking light poles, trees and strangers… So maybe he’s just a loving drunk person.”

So now here I am confused as fuck because I don’t know who I should believe… Should it be girlie me or the normal non dealing with feelings me. On top of it all I don’t know how I feel about him. Do I like him or do I not. I’m soooo fucking Confucius! The End.

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily (holy crapola this was a long one.)