Subvert the Dominant Paradigm

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Return of the Rant

Trying to make this blog fit into a nice little box has been a struggle of mine for many years. I usually post rants and raves about topics that are near and dear to my heart and mind, but they usually end up being “opinions” that may not really carry much weight for anyone else.

Then I think about what other people might like to read here, or ways I can use these words to spread “my message” or build up “my brand”. I put together a plan to be more focused, to post more regularly, to stay on track and hold to a theme. This has happened more than once, and if you are a regular reader of my words, I’m sure you can remember a few times the content of this blog has changed drastically. I usually make it through 3-5 posts, but then something silly like “real life” happens, and I get thrown off track and then I don’t post for two months, and then I write out a post like the one you are currently reading.

This process reminds me of so many other parts of my life that I try to shove down in little boxes. I’m reminded of other parts of my life I try to rectify with the rest of the world and the rest of humanity. Like all the thoughts in my head telling me “the normal way” is not how I want to live, not how I want to behave, not how I want to exist.

At times like this, I step back in to my mind, to remember instances in my wayward youth when “the fire” burned inside me. I felt it the first time I jumped from a perfectly good aircraft. I felt it the first time I played a punk rock song onstage. I felt it the first time I shared those three words with my sweetest love. I still feel it every time I make myself stronger than I was the day before. But, these moments are becoming fewer and farther between. I find myself searching for them, yearning for them, instead of living a life in which they happen all the time. This existence of wearing the right clothes, and making the right money, and being the right person, and watching the right show, and eating the right food, feels so WRONG.

I’ve always known I was built for a different life than this, but somehow here I am.

I’ve always known I didn’t walk the same path as everyone else, but here I am, with my good job and my car with good gas mileage, and my good-enough house.

I’ve always known I didn’t want to be like them, but here I am stressed out about bills, stressed out about money, stressed out about what happens next.

I’ve always known there are people who feel and think like I do, but here I am liking and reposting, tagging and hashtagging, double-clicking my way to “community” and still feeling like we are all just playing along instead of actually living the lives we want.

I see unhappiness all around me. I see people succumbing to “the pressures” of life and killing themselves slowly because they hate the lives they live and can’t remember how to love themselves. (cue “Fight Club” quote in 3…2…1)

Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

How does it make you feel when you think about spending a majority of your time earning money to pay for things you rarely get to use because you spend so much time earning money? How does it make you feel when you realize that commerce is mankind’s great contribution to the history of this planet? What else can be achieved? What else can be experienced? Don’t you want more?!?

I’m going to keep working at this blog and keep writing because it feels like something I need to do. I’m really not sure how it is going to continue to evolve, but I do know that change is inevitable. I’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s post, so leave a comment here or email me and let’s start a conversation. As always, thank you for reading my words and for participating in the Living Revolution! Until next time…