Thursday, September 14, 2006

The New Man...

I've shared this with several people over the past few days and it seems to grab root in my psyche with each different telling. I feel as if my recent foray into sickness has made me a different person. And I mean that literally. On this side of the heaves is someone altogether other from the on entering into it. It's hard to explain but all I can say is I feel as if my time on the couch and in bed ripped my personal past away from the present. And I miss what it feels like I've lost.

Maybe this is what I've needed to see the reality, or to borrow a phrase from Singleton, the weight of my existence. On that side was a life shared with others, of hanging out in that east Texas barn and knowing how good I had it, of sneaking away to afternoon movies with my closest friend and of laughter. On this side is nothing to write home about.