Ramblings of a 30 something mom with three kids,a full time job, and a thriving real estate business.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Jealousy

Jealousy is such an ugly emotion. It's even more fun when mixed with self-pity. My life right now is beyond crazy. My job is more stressful than it's been in years, my husband's working more and more to keep us afloat, we finally got a tenant in our old house, our finances are terrible after 6 months of double mortgage payments, my sweet little daughter is growing into her own and very assertively expressing her independence, oh, did I mention that we're starting up our own business?

So, when my mother called 3 friggen times Saturday night to tell me how much she was enjoying the evening out with my father, brother and sister-in-law, while I was chasing the kid's around the house, trying to wade through the mess of crap everywhere, I'd had about enough. I look around me and see people relaxing, enjoying themselves and others and began to feel sorry for myself. Especially when hubby's off on another trip in Colorado, Utah, California, Mexico...... which leaves me with last night. The self-pity rising and my mom calls again from an enjoyable evening out with my dad. I call hubby, who's on his way to dinner with his coworkers in Salt Lake City. I try to remind myself that this is the life I chose, and then my kids start an impromptu came of chase. I'm sitting on the stairs, watching. They're laughing and running and it finally hits home; I'm the lucky one.