Oh my goodness I read this in like the span of three days, honestly I would've finished in one but hw was in the way! I never wanted to stop reading this, it was so hard to finish my hw because I just wanted to read your story. I love how you characterized them, although Rose was at times ooc but rarely. I loved their development throughout the whole fic and the ending was perfect.

I'm sad that I finished this because it's so rare to find an interesting fic that stays, well, interesting. Each and every part was great! There's not one single part in this entire fic that was boring! That's just amazing! I loved all of this and gahhh it was just so well written. *Applause*

Lel, thanks for the shout-out! Anyway, thanks for sticking through with this fic for the past year and not letting it go the way of Maverick. "Practice" has pretty much been the only dose of T&B that I've been getting since the series ended, though the BD of the movie has become available and the first set of the BDs went on sale last month, but I'll get around to it. :-D

As for the chapter itself... man, I know it's been mentioned before, but I have to state it again: you've got a knack for description. That scene in Sternbild Harbor was fantastic. I've been in harbors before on the east coast and you caught the atmosphere perfectly. I loved going to them in the early mornings during the weekend because it was so damn peaceful. Anyhoo, I was afraid that with how the last chapter ended, that you'd make Karina and Barnaby gf/bf in the finale, but I'm happy you did not. Not only would it have been rushed, but it would have been contrary to how you built up their characters and reinforced their personalities in the story. Thumbs up, in general. Good luck on your next fic, whether it be T&B or not. Thanks again for the ride!

Great way to end the story. I was kinda hoping for something a little more concrete for the climax, but the way you spun it works really well for their respective characters. The only thing that seems a little off was how easy it was for them to address Kotetsu as a possible problem in their relationship and agree to work around him, considering how much attention he got up to this point. That said, they don't seem like really dramatic or over-the-top people, so I wasn't expecting a huge argument or fallout after everything else they've gone through. Regardless, good ending, and that last line was very well done.

And, because I noticed a few minor mistakes that jumped out at me, it wouldn't do to keep them to myself. Incredibly minor, and hardly the sort that detracted from the greater story and scenes at work, but I figure I should let you know. "The tabloid and gossip blogs would have a field if they knew." I think you meant 'field day.' And "It's just hard to me relinquish" when I think you mean 'hard for me to.' And that's all I could find.

So, all in all, a great piece that does a great job of focusing on the characters. I know nothing about them or the series, and was still easily able to follow what was going on and take their actions and perspectives seriously, so kudos for that. And I look forward to whatever other projects you go onto from here.

Vocarin

Hawk chapter 12 . 3/4/2013

Good fic. Originally saw this posted as a link on Tumblr.

hawk chapter 13 . 3/4/2013

Good fic. I noticed you had Kotetsu distance himself from Barnaby by using his name rather than his nickname, then had Karina use the nickname, familiarizing herself with him more. It was like showing the distance growing and lessening, and then with Kotetsu's new knowledge of the relationship it kinda makes it bittersweet. Aaw, but poor Tiger! I kept thinking it would even be a good threesome if they could just work their problems out! I hadn't thought that previously, and it struck me as an interesting concept.

One thing I notice is that if Karina were holding his glasses the whole night, it seems like she'd smudge them and get her fingerprints on them, so he might want to clean them off first. On the chance that she didn't twist them or roll on top of them. That's an incredibly small detail, yes, but it did jump out at me. Also, there was a part in Kotetsu's musings where it felt like he repeated himself, used the same turn of phrase in very close proximity, but now I can't seem to find it when I look for it, so maybe you already found and corrected it.

Now that the critiques are out of the way, on to the praise.

I like how you're avoiding the more obvious places for awkwardness between Karina and Barnaby, like their relationship being revealed in a simple enough way, or them showering together and doing so to genuinely save on time and water. It's an interesting dynamic on them considering how they were concerned about their relationship needing to grow and develop, and yet when under the gun, they operate well together without much help. Not sure if you put those parts in there to show their ease around each other when it's necessary, or you were just illustrating how comfortable they are with each other at this point, but it worked well. And, finally, I thought the point on neither of them having a word to classify their relationship was excellent. Some relationships are easy to classify, because they feel like a 'girlfriend/boyfriend' hook up, or 'lovers', or what have you. And I can't think of the word I'd use to describe Karina and Barnaby either. So kudos to that, because it was an excellent point to end the chapter on.

Interesting and insightful, as usual. I'm liking how Karina and Barnaby are still conflicted on how they feel about Kotetsu, and yet aren't making that more than it needs to be. They aren't arguing over the old man, getting bitter over which one of them loves him more, or wanting the other's affections more than they feel for Kotetsu, etc. They're coming across as mature adults, which, to me, is always preferable to screaming matches and thrown furniture.

The ending was a nice touch, making Karina the decisive party when one expects them to both play passive and just write the night off as being awkward and weird. Can't comment on the plot beyond that, since you left it on such a deliciously intriguing cliffhanger, but I am looking forward to the next chapter.

Hory shyet. Seems to me Kotetsu is having a mid-life crisis and Bunny and Karina haven't noticed. Good writing on your part: not sure if I've mentioned this, but you've got a talent for describing settings. Most authors would take the easy way out and say they're at a Japanese festival and leave at that. Or, authors like myself would quickly provide some details and move on to developing the plot. Your kind of authors, on the other hand, integrate the setting description into the developing story such that one complements the other. One does not notice the story progressing because we're actively involved in your setting.

Anyway, good way to end the chapter. I was taken aback by it the same way I'm sure Barnaby was.

Cheers,
Nitrolead

P.S. I've tried sake twice before and both times I thought the same thing- it's the only alcohol I've tried that has zero taste going in, but as soon as you down it, it tastes like sweaty socks. Or, what I imagine sweaty socks to taste like. :-P

I like how they're still unsure about demanding more in case the other backs off...
Or rather... Karina is afraid to ask for more in case Barnaby is like, Forget this!

{O n O } No please!

Yeah somehow Tiger has become annoying. Is he trying to get between me and my new OTP?
Look Tiger... just because you're super spicy hott and totally my type doesn't mean you can be selfish.
Or... socially unaware?

I dunno but whatever you do seems to be gold. You, not Tiger.
Gooo ArchFaith! :) Thanks for much for writing more

I like the parallels between the kissing themes before and the sex now, that Karina and Barnaby are people who need more than the physicality of a relationship, that the sex is good but not enough, and they both realize that and want more. That they both want to improve on it gives the story a good amount of depth and says a few things on where their relationship's going to go. Or at least where it has the potential to go. So, again, nice work on the story lines and plots that you have going.

Kotetsu annoyed me, and that's not a way of disparaging your work - rather, take that as a compliment that you're probably portraying him very accurately. He's caring and sincere, but lacking in self-awareness, and plays the pity card, manipulatively or innocently, enough that, yeah, I'd want to drown him in booze if I had to put up with him in person. I can imagine the people who've had to pick him up, drive him home, and clean up the lines of puke when he drinks to much, and yet he never seems to feel any shame or regret, never thinks he might be an imposition. I know my share of people like that in life, and I personally would have snubbed him to his face if he tried to tag along and was screwing up my plans. So, again, kudos to you for your characterization, because the descriptions and scenes made me want to strangle him, and that's an accomplishment for any writer.

Looking forward to seeing where things go from here, since, regardless of what I think about Kotetsu, he's something both Barnaby and Karina have to come to terms with and work out if their relationship is going to get anywhere and grow on its own. And you worked him into the narrative excellently, so well done on that.