Scrooge, you say? That “greedy, grasping, unrepentant miser”? That Sinner-Turned-Santa?

Yes. He was all that. And past trauma made him both a victim and victimizer.

Consider what Dickens wrote. Scrooge knew depression and lack of empathy. “No wind that blew was bitterer than he.” Why was he embittered? He was a neglected child, shipped off to boarding school, as proper children were in those days, but left there 24/7 for years. Finally, his father told Fan, Scrooge’s sister, to bring him home. “Father’s ever so much kinder than he was,” she tells her brother.

And why had Scrooge’s father been so harsh? Recall that Scrooge’s mother died. Emotionally shattered parents sometimes traumatize and reject their children. And isn’t a parent’s death traumatic for a child, as well?

His father restored himself after a few years. Scrooge didn’t. He traumatized others for decades and denied himself the warmth of his own humanity. His fiancée, his employee, and his nephew all felt the frostbite of Scrooge’s damaged Self.

So, why didn’t Scrooge heal himself earlier? Well, some might say it’s because Dickens was paid by the word. And a short story gets an author a smaller paycheck than a novel.

But the truth is, Scrooge was a child in crisis, and he could not heal himself. He lacked therapists, psychiatrists, and antidepressants. Often, those in trauma only put the pieces together at a safe distance (even generations) from the original event. It took Scrooge decades—hastened only by intense, spirit-forced immersion therapy, and three delusional experiences—to unblock his psyche.

Each of us can be trauma’s victim, cause, or cure. So, at this holiday season, remember that the cantankerous clerk, the baffled beautician, and perhaps even you, the overwhelmed overachiever, may be dealing with mental illness and past trauma—or that of others. There is pain everywhere, so let’s guide each other through it. Now and always, the greatest therapies we give each other are patience and forbearance. How much more beautiful the world would be if we treated everyone as a scared, scarred human needing comfort and joy, not as a villain to be reviled.

I wish you the sanity of Scrooge reborn, more gravy than grave, and all the “charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence” that you can bestow or receive—such as the gift of BRIDGES.