Emma Watson Forgot To Tell You About Her Breakup Because She Was Too Busy With Her New BF

Are you still reeling from the news that Emma Watson broke up with her boyfriend, Will Adamowicz, and that she also had hoarded that information for months? Because I was. That is, up until about 5 minutes ago, when I learned that she’s also also been keeping quiet about her brand new boyfriend, Matt Janney. And, you know, now it all makes sense why her break-up slipped her mind for such a long time, what with all of that courting she and Matt were doing.But even I, the most understanding of imaginary friends, have to draw the line somewhere and I’m choosing to draw it that Caribbean sand on which she and Matt romantically strolled. They probably even frolicked on that sand at some point, and don’t even get me started on the seashells they probably collected together.

All of that and she didn’t make a peep, which is weird because you would think that something as huge as a romantic getaway chock full of handholding and loving forehead kisses would be a thing you’d run and tell. But noo, not our Emsy! She likes to keep her private relationships private, which is especially unfortunate for someone like me who cares so much. But at least I can always count on a source lurking nearby to fill in the blanks for me.

“They didn’t have a care in the world. Matt was very protective of Emma – often putting his arm around her. They couldn’t stop giggling and smiling the whole time.”

Oh. My. God. I want to say that that’s the cutest thing I’ve heard all day, but Bradley Cooper’s giggly interview happened so I’m going to say it’s a tie. But, even still, being tied with that level of adorableness is nothing short of an honor. And now that I know about this new couple, I can’t promise that I won’t be really obsessed with it. I actually can’t even offhandedly suggest that I’ll try to not be obsessed, because that’s a power that I just don’t have. Sue me; but I should warn you that I’ll have to attend court via video chat because I’ll be glued to the internet waiting for more cute news about Memma. Oh, by the way, how do you feel about their new couple name? I’m pretty into it, if I do say so myself.