The Paperboy

Look at the paperboy delivering his papers. Walking from door to door and putting the papers in the little box. Envy the paperboy and his strength! It is unparalleled and none can match it! Observe the paperboy challenge non-paying customers in the ring and watch with dismay as he slams them to the mat. This is the life of the paperboy.

Notice his smile. His gleaming white smile. The smile of a champion that he wears as he delivers papers from door to door and block to block. Behold the smile and do not be afraid! Embrace the smile as he slams you to the mat! Oh how cruel the might of the paperboy is.

Look at the paperboy's shoes! Tattered and ragged and there is a hole in the bottom. Why haven't you paid the paperboy? This is what you ask yourself as the magnificent paperboy slams you to the mat! The great heroic strength of the paperboy must not be denied!

Smell his hair! That greasy unwashed hair that drips onto your paper and into your eyes as the brawny and sure-footed paperboy slams you to the mat! Oh, pay the paperboy and suffer his manliness no more!

That is right! Unwedge your wallet from the rear pocket of your pants and extract the monetary goodness that waits within. Rejoice as you pay the paperboy! Sing a song of levity that your neigbors will hear and admire. The paperboy's hair will shine tonight! And because of you, you, the payer of the paperboy. You think of this as he slams you to the mat and his muscles ripple with paper hefting delight.