Hurricane Matthew is already responsible for the deaths of more than 280 people in Haiti, and now, strengthened into a Category 4 storm, it is directing itself at Florida’s coast. President Obama has called a state of emergency in both Florida and South Carolina, and officials are urging everyone to evacuate without…

Picture this: You’re walking through a remote Vietnamese village when you feel the telltale itch of a yeast infection. Or you’re uncontrollably spewing from both ends after drinking some tainted water in Guatemala. Either way, you’re abroad and in need of a doctor, and you don’t know what do to.

New York firefighters, i.e. Drunk Tommy Gavin, Mustachioed Lou, and Cologned Franco driving a stolen pickup truck and armed to the teeth with Super Soakers, needed 45-whole minutes Saturday night to put out a fire in Heather Graham's Union Square apartment. It was a very harrowing experience for everyone, not least of…

Siri can be used for many purposes — from telling Zooey Deschanel that when water falls from the sky, that's called "rain" to claiming she doesn't know who Samuel L. Jackson is (seriously! Ask her! She'll lie!) But did you know that Siri can also be a malevolent entity worthy of her own series of R. L. Stein books?

Seven-year-old Floridian Rita Lawlor was given an award by the Sarasota County Fire Department for her bravery and composure in the face of what would be a terrifying situation for anyone— her mother wouldn't wake up, even when slapped across the face with a piece of pizza. Master Shredder would be so pleased.

As children, we're taught that dialing 911 for a non-emergency was an epic no-no. Not so for Cynthia Colston of Florida, who called 911 four times from her nail salon because she thought her manicurist did a bad job.

Sometimes your love life is an emergency (tick-tock, ladies, right?)! Surely that's why an Ohio woman called 911 five times looking for a husband. Perhaps she found him during the three days she spent in in the clink. [CBS]

A 53-year-old Texas woman is being investigated for "911 abuse" (not the Giuliani/Bush kind). In the last six months, she has called the line 30 times, most recently because "her husband did not want to eat his supper." [CBSNews]

...and orders a coffee. As the Michigan man, stabbed in a robbery, told the 911 operator, "I'm gonna sit down at [the diner] 'cause they got a chair and it's cold out here." While there, he drank coffee. [CBS]