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5 Zombie-Proof Houses Your Family Won’t Be Caught Dead In

The post-apocalyptic world is upon us and the Kardashians flesh-eating zombies are everywhere, but you’re ready because a CENTURY 21® Agent is in the house.

Our agents are SMARTER. BOLDER. FASTER® than the zombies which means that your family will be safely removed from The Walking Dead.

These CENTURY 21 houses provide a safe haven from the biters:

1. Zombies can’t swim. The walkers won’t be able to get into this Florida fortress. We know that this is true because we read it on Wikipedia and Wikipedia is always right – that’s a fact. Clearly Wikipedia has correct intel on the skill set of fictional creatures. Sorry, did we just do the equivalent of telling you Santa isn’t real? Sorry, not sorry.

2. “I knew you were trouble when you walked in. Trouble, trouble, trouble (Taylor Swift, Trouble)!” The biters are scared of horses and, if a ridiculously, ridiculously brave biter tries to enter this home, they won’t be able to because they don’t know how to jump fences.

3. The walkers are scared of walk ups. Their nickname is an oxymoron and they aren’t happy about it.

4. Zombies can’t walk up stairs (especially stairs that look like The Exorcist stairs). They also hate isolated woods because they can’t download Google Maps on their iPhones. There is no way they would show up at this house. Like, ever.

5. Only a Psycho would shower here plus, zombies are scared of water (see point 1).

So, there you have it, five homes your family would never be caught Walking Dead in. Don’t say we never gave you anything.