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Flashback

All my stories begin with me shooting pool at Leroy’s. This one begins on Friday:

“What do you mean what’s my name?” I respond, irritated because I don’t like when people I don’t know come up and question me. “What’s your name?”

“Beauchamp.”

It takes a second for me to register. “Lionel Beauchamp??? From seventh grade???”

Seventh grade was 1982 but it all comes back in a flash. Mr. Gambill’s science class at Pattengill Junior High. We’re at the back of the class, Lionel’s on my right, a white girl name Terri Ereg is on my left. Lionel is baldheaded now but he had a jheri curl back then. He’s got activater in a bottle that he keeps sitting on the desk. Every five minutes he squirts some in his hair, trying to keep from rusting like The Tin Man.

We’re taking a test and Lionel copies from my paper which is cool because he asked, but out of the corner of my eye I see Terri is stuck on question #3 and she’s peeking at my paper.

3. What is an inclined plane?Â

There is no way she should be stuck on this one. We just discussed this in class yesterday, an inclined plane is like a ramp. Evidently she just wasn’t paying attention. I decide to teach her a lesson. I write:

An inclined plane was a fighter/bomber plane used primarily in World War II.Â

Mr. Gambill has never even mentioned World War II. It’s freaking science class! Amazingly Terri copies my answer. Then five minutes later when she’s not watching I erase that answer and write the right one.

I was hoping Mr. Gambill would ask her where she got that answer.

Yesterday I took my son to Pockets to shoot pool. Jordon is 14 but his game is getting pretty damn good. The scary thing is that he’s learning from me so the thing I was just getting good at after years of shooting pool, getting drawback on the cue ball: he’s doing that already. Took me ’til I was 30-something and he’s just making shots and getting drawback. The kid picks up quick.

Visually Jordon reminds me of my brother, the younger one who is in prison. Joshua is also black and Mexican and he’s taller than me. Jordon just passed me in height and he’s got that same crazy mixed guy ‘fro when he takes his braids out. So yesterday this adult walks by Jordon and gives him a crazy look for a second (Jordon didn’t see, his back was turned). For one brief moment I thought why is this mothafucka looking at my brother like that? Josh will whoop his ass. Then it came back to me: that’s not Josh, that’s Jordon.

27 Responses to “Flashback”

Mike do you ever go and visit? I don’t mena to get your business but it means alot when family gets down to visit. That is if it will not cause yo to get alot of $10 a minute collect calls from him. I had three friends in at the same time. Once I got that phone bill I had to cutoff all contact. Look I miss you but not enough to pay $400 for a phone bill. They would even try to get me to conference other guys familys on my line. F that!

We used to visit but that got old. He’s been in since 1993 and at one point he told my mom something like “No offense but some time I can go extreme amounts of time without even thinking about you all on the outside, I’m just dealing with this here.”

I would understand that. The world is in now is no joke. None of my friends were the same after they got out. They were already rough and prison just made them not give a shit about anything or anyone. They also met more friends to start more elaborate scams with.

Those pages aren’t set up for the benefit of the inmates. They’re set up so corrections workers don’t have to put up with a bunch of phone calls from people requesting information about inmates. Plus the system is there for people who get bored and want to find out whatever became of old classmates!

Awww. Remember that Demetrius dude who called to cuss me out for calling his girlfriend Zenobia (who I really needed so that I would have a “Z” to get that much closer to completing the alphabet)? I looked him up but he wasn’t there. I thought for sure I’d find him.

Maybe for tomorrow’s post I will list the letters I still need so chicks with names like Zoe and Velma can give me some so I can finish the alphabet. Would you believe I don’t have an F? You would think I would have gotten a Felicia by now!

I got like 500 hits from people who thought I was him when I posted a link on my page. Which says a lot about most of his fans. (Which I think I am one since I bought three albums. Fuck. I bought Aqua and Motorhead, too, in my defense.)

My brother is in prison for hitting somebody with a baseball bat. He could move right next door to you and you wouldn’t get any notice at all. Seems kind of funny that you only get the sex offender info.