I Got Game. You Want Game?

Lauren - University of Michigan

I’m gonna make a bold statement right now:

I got some serious game.

I know that sounds incredibly cocky, but it’s actually quite the opposite. You see, until about two years ago I was the girl who sat on the sidelines and watched as all my friends flirted with and won over the very boys I wanted for myself. I was essentially the hook-up water boy, holding everyone’s cocktails when they went to the bathroom and checking to make sure no one had anything in their teeth. I accepted my role and went on with my life thinking I wasn’t pretty or skinny or perfect enough to be seen as anything more than the girl best friend.

But then something happened. I had a one-night stand with a boy who everyone wanted and – like that – everything changed. I started walking with a little swagger in my step, approaching anyone and everyone I wanted and suddenly I had developed my game winning moves.

I’m not kidding, if there were a Hall-of-Fame for pick-up lines, I’d be its first inductee.

So, after luring in my own men and playing professional wingman to all of my friends (I advise them on making a move and they pay me back with vodka-on-the-rocks), someone who has benefited from my work countless times finally convinced me to share my secrets with the world. If you can master these few little tips, you can win over any guy, any time.

[Now, just so you know, playing the game isn’t just for ladies looking for some late night nookie. It’s for those of you crushing on a guy and looking for something longer term, too.]

To begin with, I just want to say that no one is going to fall in love with you if you don’t show them there’s something to love. And I’m not talking about your nipples, honey. I’m talking about your confidence. If you sit back or do the wallflower thing, you will not lure in the hottie from Chem. But if you do whatever it is you do that makes you feel really good/hot/confident (for me it’s black eyeliner, straight hair and a great pair of jeans) and approach a guy with ease, he will be like putty in your hands.

Yeah, you have to approach him. Or you could wait for him to notice you in your group of 12 friends, think of a way to bust open the circle you guys are standing in and come up with something to say to you. Seriously, just think of something witty and walk over there.

Ok, so you’re standing next to him. Now what do you say?
I have a few tried-and-true lines that get the conversation flowing every. single. time.

– “Whatcha drinkin?” – Easiest line in the book. (Hm, maybe I should write a book!) He’ll tell you, he’ll ask you what you’re drinking, you’ll start some conversation about how the bar always waters down their drinks, soon your drinks will be empty and he’ll be buying you a new one. Boom.

– [Squeeze in next to him at the bar while you battle for drinks] “I think we should work together. How about you try and lure the girl bartender and I’ll use my cleavage to try and get the dude.” Not only are you being cute and openly flirty, but you got him to notice your sex appeal without really asking for it. Plus, teamwork always fosters flirtation and witty banter will follow. I promise you that.

– Bring up something relevant. So, if he’s standing against the wall at a party, say something cute like, “You know the party is more fun if you actually talk to people.” If he’s on the dance floor gettin’ his groove on, compliment his moves. If you run into him at the party store, comment on what he’s buying and ask him where the party’s at. Yes, it all seems cheesy, but these lines get the convo started without making you look dumb/desperate/cliche.

And that is that. All you need is a little self-love, a few witty lines (which, by the way, I use over and over again. The guys won’t know how many times you’ve tried them before!) and you’re good to go. Once you try these out a few times you’ll see how easy picking up a guy can be.

Just don’t spit this game in any bar or party I frequent. That’s my territory, ladies.