Sunday, October 13, 2013

"Sex education" discussion October 16

This was hard to place, so I've put it just before the section on teens.

Sex Education

Some families say "Abstain!" and if a pregnancy results, they see it as a punishment from God, the ultimate outing of sneaky, bad behavior.

There are more loving ways to handle teens and sexuality. There are more compassionate and sensible things to think and say and do.

Undoubtedly some of those reading here were the product of unintended pregnancy, and it is not the fashion for people to say "shouldn’t have been born" about themselves or anyone else. To be honest, though, with the world population approaching seven billion, helping your children only have babies they really want is good for you, them, and the hypothetical, potentially-unwanted children.

A girl can put a baby up for unseen adoption, and many parents have required teenaged girls to do that. There are risks to physical health and life, and certain effects on emotional health and life.

We can continue the tradition of the ages of punishing and shaming and controlling teenagers, or we can find better ways to help them learn what they need to know to make good decisions and to live a responsible, happy life.

That was all about pregnancy. There are other things to consider. It's easy to lie to kids or to create a cloud of fear and nonsense. What's not as easy is for parents to review and update their own knowledge so that what they're saying is helpful and current and true.

I was talking to Holly about "control," and of a family forbidding a 16-year-old to see her boyfriend (who attended the same school she did), which resulted in the murder of her family, house burned down, all the teens in prison…

I said: "Some families tell their boys never to look at dirty pictures and never to touch their penises."

Holly: "Ed Gein's mother told him that, hardcore."

Sandra: "Never to jack off?"

Holly: "Yes. And he dug his mother's body up, cut off her vagina and painted it silver."