Reggie Legend; Addressing the age-old question: Is it OK to date interracially? – but from a Christian perspective…

(ThyBlackMan.com) Regarding our three-year old son, my wife and I have already had the discussion that the parents of many young black boys will have at some point in time: “What if he brings home a white girl?!!” Further still, what if our yet-to-be baby girl brings home a white dude?!! Our environment lends itself to a heightened awareness of this possibility as it is quite unlike the ones we grew up in where we were surrounded by our own people.

The environment and people that our children will be exposed to is a much more integrated one. One which will present difficult challenges in our attempt to balance raising a child that is socially conscious of his/her culture’s history while remaining free from racial bias.

Needless to say, my wife has already jokingly staked her position that our son will NOT bring home a white girl to date – but I sense a truth in her jest; a truth that I have shared sentiments with in the past.

But I am a new creature in Christ who is no respecter of persons, right? The greater concern should be whether or not the belief of who our children date is equally yoked, right? But it is easier said than done. Having said that, I have effectively dated myself on the topic of interracial dating.

I say that I have dated myself because the daze of cultural prejudice should no longer exist in Christian mindsets. Once heaven and new earth are combined, things such as race and color will have no bearing on who is my brother or sister. And while I understand that dating and marriage will no longer be a focus in this new world of Christ’s eternal reign, it sets the stage for how we should start to behave now.

I can recall a time in my earlier days when I didn’t see the color of my friends as an issue. But as I transitioned from a private Christian school environment to that of the public school system, my position dramatically changed to something I have been challenged with ever since.

Fast forward to today and the issue of interracial mingling is still very much a sensitive topic. I remember its prevalence peaking around the time that Monster’s Ball came out regarding Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton’s sexually charged scenes. But the controversial backlash amongst black people wasn’t about the characters as much as it was about Halle Berry. Even though we’re all aware of her own interracial background, we didn’t want the black and beautiful side we’ve claimed to be marred in “that way.”

We’d had enough of that forced upon us from days of slavery. But as valid of a concern as this is, it shows an unwillingness to forgive and a willingness to being bound and limited by the past – both which are standpoints that contradict the love of God that Christians ought to show towards one another (Christian and non-Christian alike).

But there’s another side to coining racial dating as well: black men dating white women. I once watched a documentary on The History Channel which catalogued the history of drugs in America. Of particular intrigue to me was how it showcased prohibitive laws that were created for stimulant drugs. According to this show, the harsh penalties for using such drugs were racially motivated.

You see, with so much of the labor force being comprised of black men who took stimulants to ward off exhaustion, concern and fear soon began to mount for what they could do to the white women they worked around. Hopped up on such drugs, it was believed that black men would give in to their more feral “nature” to overpower and sexually assault white men’s daughters and wives. The irony of it all is that more recent stereotypes of white women in interracial couples seem to echo such fears played out as sexual fantasies:

The verdict‘s out on
Black men with big hands and feet –
How endowed are we?!!
~

Neither of these approaches to interracial dating are acceptable as they are predicated upon stereotypes of the wild nature of black men which plays into some of the cruder motivations for enslaving (and castrating) African men during slavery’s height in America.

But it doesn’t end there because there are some black men who enjoy living up to these expectations when dating white women – hell-bent on getting even with the cruelty of how we’ve been treated by white men by deflowering the innocence of their daughters. It goes without saying that such an aggressive side to the stigma behind why black men date white women works completely against the Kingdom of God.

Another more docile reason for black men who date interracially is that we have opted to doubly generalize women by dating white women because of how docile they are in lieu of dealing with black women’s aggressiveness. From a Kingdom-minded perspective, the latter angle flies in the face of convention where MUTUAL submission exists in the household of a Godly man who, while being led by Christ, responsibly wields the authority as the head of the household.

Moving on from a man’s perspective, broaching the topic of black women who date outside of their race, the reasons – while less aggressive – are just as deeply rooted. Black women feel as though they are limiting their options by dating black men exclusively due to the media’s depiction and statistical projections of black men that are either in jail, dead, infidels… or gay (outwardly or on the down low). But to my black Christian women I will say this: keep the faith! If you haven’t counted out Christ Who had stats stacked against Him along with the powerful men of His time who rejected and tried to put Him away under lock and key – then don’t count out your black brothers in Christ, either!

It is in my humble opinion that all of these aforementioned reasons for dating outside of one’s race are poor excuses. Meaning (from a black Greek perspective) they are tools of the incompetent that build monuments of nothingness and bridges that lead to nowhere. So in that regard, I do not support interracial dating.

But is my opposition to interracial dating dated if I keep a closed mind to it by only considering these reasons? The answer is an emphatic “Yes.” It IS outdated. It’s as outdated and faulty as early Christians and Mormons who incorrectly linked the origins of black culture back to when Cain was marked and cursed by Godfor murdering his brother – which became their justification for slavery and the denigration of people of color.

We live in a new age. An age where race, color and creed melt away under the light of the Son of God. An age where what defines you best is not your earthly heritage, but your heavenly inheritance as a child of God. That being said – I do support interracial dating because Christians come in all different shapes, sizes and colors… and I’ll see how Christian I am when one of those “different” colors comes to my door either on the arm of my son or to ask my daughter out on a date!

Erasing the Thin Line Between Love and Race

When lines between love,
Hate and race are crossed, burning
Passions consume us.

*

Dating Outside of Racially Outdated Mentalities

Lines twixt black and white
Are like love and hate – easy
To cross, hard to date.

Comments

I like your comment Anthony. And why when our people think about interracial, it has to be a white woman? Look at the picture of this article! It seems that too many people put white female on a pedestal and think they are the most beautiful which is not the truth at all. I believe too many people worldwide have been brainwashed. I have a good example to give: I went to Morocco in the past. An Arab guy told me that he only dates Blondes. I told him that he was not proud of who he was. There was a white lawyer who heard me and told in my ears that I was right to say this because all day long he saw beautiful Arab females.

In reality most “Christians” in America, black or white or any other skin tone are more concerned about preserving the colors of their skins (skin color worship) than fighting their sins. In short all of us have sinned and come short of the glory of God.

“because black women don’t have many choices if they only choose to date black men.”

They can always look for mail order husbands from Africa and make this country more non-white and hasten the day when racist whites become a minority in this country!

I am a black woman married to a white man. We have a seven year old son together who has my nose, his hair, and olive skin. I see black guys date other races a lot. It only upsets me when *some* men justify it as being because black women are too “this” or too “that”. I’m not sure what the deal is, but I will say, there are plenty of white men out there who would LOVE to date black woman. You just have to be open and branch out a little more. This came naturally for me because I grew up in a very mixed environment. Some women may have to work a little harder at putting their biases and pre-conceived notions aside as well as any guilt about not dating a black man. The man of your dreams may be white (or Hispanic! Or Asian!) I once dated an ultra-hot arab man. He was from France so everything he said was super sexy. ;o) Wouldn’t it be sad to miss out on your soul-mate because you couldn’t get past the color of his skin?

Black men have been choosing white women for a long time and having brown babies. It’s more refreshing to see white men choosing women of color because black women don’t have many choices if they only choose to date black men. Black men date white women from all social economic backgrounds because a white woman’s skin gives her status. However, white men choose the most educated black women and will always date the “Halle Berrys” of the world or women with status.

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