I have to live with them

Posted on Sun, May. 17, 2020 at 11:34 pm

I was almost done with my masters degree when the pregnancy complications occurred, making it impossible to continue. Since then we've had no help and can't quite afford the astronomical cost of childcare so I can finish my degree, so against my will, but necessarily I suppose, I've become a stay at home mother. I've twice delayed going back to school because of issues with inlaws. Okay, I can deal with that even though the more time that goes by the more difficult it will be to go back. Now in-laws can't afford their mortgage and other bills. Their credit is abysmal because they're TERRIBLE with finances, so their house is under my husband's name, which means they can't get the financial assistance available to elderly homeowners that could actually help them stay afloat. So FIL thinks my husband should finance an addition to their house so they can rent it out to someone. Sure. But they don't speak English even though they've been in this country for 40 years (I have no issue with immigrants--my husband is an immigrant), so who would be dealing with all the details of this addition (and there are a crap ton of details!)? My husband, who cares for you like you're infants because you can do so little for yourselves. Every bill you get, every doctor's appointment, every damn phone call. He deals with it, on top of working full time and commuting 2 hours every day. FIL finally realized that was a ish idea when the true logistics of it became evident, after stubbornly holding out on the idea for a year, all the while incurring debt my husband will be responsible for. After refusing any other sensible options that would have actually allowed in-laws to have extra money and no worries about a mortgage, we've come to the point where there are no other options but to get a house with them. Because they will contribute a 4th of the down payment and a monthly sum until I'm finally able to finish my degree, they are demanding a house that is way out of our budget. 700k house is what they want!!! Even though we've looked at several great houses that are much less expensive, they pick and pick and pick at it. Stupid details that don't even matter! And they say it's because they want to leave a legacy for their grand daughter. Ain't gonna be no legacy if we're all homeless! The reason they're in their current situation with a mortgage they can't afford is because they bullied my husband into putting a down payment on a house above their budget! Now they want to do the same to all of us! Now I have to live with FIL who is the driving force behind all these stupid decisions. He's a stubborn old man who thinks he's right about everything when he literally knows nothing! I sometimes wish he would die, and that's horrible. But after YEARS of watching the stress he puts on my husband, watching all the times my husband has bailed them out because of yet another poor financial choice... I'm so so so sick of it! And now we have to live with them. I think, as much as I love my husband and want our little family of 3 to stay together, I will leave after I've finally been able to complete my degree. I've been miserable because of them for years. I'm tired of being the third wheel in my own life.