Two types of pie, three types of muffins. The deliciousness quotient is off the charts, people. Bet you can’t wait for dessert!

Oh, wait. Right, you won’t be there. Well, don’t worry, I will have a little bit of each and give you a first-hand report. Yes, it will be an extreme caloric sacrifice on part. But damn it, you deserve no less.

No, no. Don’t thank me. This is just the sort of selfless thing I do. Just think of me, kindly, as I set to my task.

Hold up there, Daisy! Before we get to 2013, here’s my hand-picked selection of the best of Whatever through 2012, a year filled to the brim with politics, geekery, and of course, straight white men. They’re presented to you today in alphabetical order: