Comment by ShakeNBake

Comment by Deathbang

Comment by ontera

Between pandas, personified hate (sha), and island that's really a giant turtle, my warchief dying, martial arts experts, Pokemon battles, and so many more things, this is what I've been waiting for in the next expansion.

Comment by Drahken

This was written by Philip J Fry. Or maybe Lucy Liu.

Comment by Sincerity

{Took a shot at writing this. Hope you guys enjoy.}

---<Page 1>---

The armor clinked as Marcus worked his way over the salty wood of Booty Bay, he had a temporary leave, and he had planned to relax on the beach. The pirates had another idea though. Weary and tired, he knew he had to get to a bed, and let his body recover. The Salty Sailor tavern was the only comfortable bed until Duskwood, and that was completely out of the question.

As the weary warrior of the Alliance entered, Skindle, the shrewdest and dirtiest goblin innkeeper opened his mouth and said, "Wells there, it looks like tha big bad Marcus could use a room: I still haven't forgotten last time yous was here, Marcus! Yous want a room, than yous needs to pay, 50 coins, or get out!"

Marcus didn't see he had much of a choice. He shuffled through his leather pouch, and all the goblins in the room had to struggle to keep their ears from wiggling in joy. Dropping the 50 gold wasn't easy for Marcus, but the joke was on Skindle, Marcus had grabbed that from the fallen pirates before he stumbled towards Booty Bay.

---<Page 2>---

Marcus dropped twenty silver on the bartop while he walked past Nixxrax, and the goblin dropped a jug of bourbon for Marcus to carry up to his room. Stumbling up the stairs as a large wave struck the town, he hit the side of the wall, opening a cut, making his already bloody armor more tarnished from combat. Passing by Catelyn earned him a wink and a wiggle of her waist, "Hi Marcus, you are looking worse for the wear, want a bit of... First aid?"

Marcus was a little too hurt for that, he stumbled by her, across the rope-wooden bridge, he came to a stop at his room, and he collapsed on his bed. His weary body just didn't have it in him to sleep though, the pain was a bit too much. Taking more than his share, the bourbon, his eyes finally collapsed, taking him into sleep.

His dreams were silent and black, the pain numbed by bourbon just didn't allow for dreaming. When he woke, however, there was a goblin standing next to his bed. His armor had been removed, and it was laying next to him. The bandages were antiseptic soaked, and he felt much better.

---<Page 3>---

She was beautiful for a goblin, her skin was a healthy and bright shade of green. She had a smile that actually seemed warm, for once, and her eyes had this curious twinkle that shined deep within her orbs. Her voice was light when she spoke, and she said, "Hi, I'm Nexty!" There was a curious sound to her voice, strange.

"I'm Marcus," he said with that famous smile. She actually seemed unaffected by it. Whether or not that drove Marcus on or not wasn't even on his mind. But that smile, that seemed to melt so many women into a puddle of goo didn't work on her. "I fixed yous right up!" She touched the wounds, "I wanted to let yous know that." Her small form turned towards the door, and took two strides.

"Wait!" Marcus said, "There are so few goblin women here," she turned, "It's rare that I see one in Booty Bay, let me buy you a drink, Nexty." He stretched up, shuffling through his bag and finding a shirt. The few drinks went by quickly, and with his head swimming he looked to her, she seemed unaffected. Guiding her upstairs with him, she seemed warm to the idea now...

---<Page 4 - 829>---

<The better part of the book seems to be stuck together, however the last page is readable.>

---<Last Page>---

Oglethorpe burst into the room, the curious gnome's goggles were gleaming in the candle light, "N.e.X. TY 5000! I was wondering where you were!" The squeaky voice grated Marcus' nerves, especially after such a wonderful week spent with the beautiful Nexty, so much so he didn't even register what Oglethorpe said.

"Nothing, creator, Marcus was showing me what it was like to be alive, I found the experience enjoyable." Oglethorpe's brows narrowed, "Well N.e.X. TY 5000 Blixrez Goodstitch and his brother are looking for you! They paid me to make you for them, not to let you run around with a human!" Nexty as Marcus came to know her turned from him, following her creator, "I enjoyed your company, Marcus." Marcus whose head was swimming from this wonderful week realized, he had loved a robot.

*Side note* This is a joke, not the actual backstory, and i made it as tactful as I possibly could while still providing laughs to the individuals that paid enough attention to notice that these are ALL items looted from Blingtron 4000 Gift Package.

Comment by clarkeyboy

Ok I admit, the oil thing took me a few moments. Well played Blizzard... well played...

Comment by Gandar54

Pretty sure this item is a reference to the song "The Girl and the Robot" by Royksopp. The song itself includes the lyrics "I'm in love with a robot" multiple times.

Comment by vaothia

Since I'm someone who incessantly draws androids and their robotic brethren, my significant other just about peed himself laughing when I linked him what I'd managed to pick up in my gift pack.

Comment by Barhah

Gross. The day before getting this I was so excited to have gotten my very own oily glove, now I can't wait to get rid of it.