The following is written personally by Eros Vlahos, in third person narrative.

Eros Vlahos is the Greek minister for Culture, Entertainment, Racket Sports and Suspension Bridge Maintenance. He is also proprietor of a chihuahua and sometimes does Acting.

Contrary to popular belief Eros was not in fact born on January 13th 1995, he was instead created by Professional Wrestler/ Rapper/ Home-Baking-Guru John Cena during an underground wrestling match in 2008. Cena, attempted to perform a standard chokehold on Vanilla Ice but got the angle unimaginably wrong and ended up inducing labour and simultaneously delivering the young Baby Eros right there and then. This clearly explains Eros's amazing ability to rap despite being white middle class and also his natural yearning to jump from ropes for no apparent reason.

Eros had a fairly uneventful childhood, he performed a 50 minute stand up show at the Edinburgh Festival aged just 12, appeared in a few films including "Nanny McPhee And The Big Bang" and heroically seriously-injured all of his competitors to emerge victorious in the thrilling 2004 Three Legged Race. You know, normal kid stuff.

Now Eros is moving into his golden years he spends most of his time napping, feeding and performing amateur exorcisms in abandoned construction sites, whilst also appearing in the hit Starz TV series "Davinci's Demons".