Blob The Bartender – Hotel! Motel!

At UD I bartended at this biker/dive bar just off campus with Felix, Charlie, Desire, Fatoo and Donger. I was a 21-year-old freshman so pretty much the only student that should have been in there. Good thing that this fat dipshit hillbilly named Blob ran the place and let any 15-year-old with a library card into the joint.

Guy was probably the shadiest mother fucker ever. Dude bought this other hell hole bar that wasn’t near campus. I guess business never picked up for him so he burnt the place to the ground. Fantastic move.

Sometimes if I was working he’d yell out shit like “Chip! Whats your favorite shot?” “I don’t know Blob… tequila.” “I tell you what then! In honor of Chip, 10 cents off every tequila shot for the next 15 minutes!” Wait what? So instead of shots being $1.75 they are $1.65? Well line em’ up!

After I graduated me and Desire started taking book basically full-time and were rolling in cash. I literally didn’t have to work for 2 full years but to keep it looking legit, I kept a gig at the bar just for the W-2. I worked maybe one night a week. Blob would always ask me if we needed any “muscle” to collect on bets and I’d explain that I was taking bets from my friends and wasn’t really in the business of breaking kneecaps.

One night I was just sitting in the bar drinking and for some reason he thought I was “connected” and gave me his resume. Did he seriously want me to help him get a job?

I felt bad that I never really passed his resume along but I would like to pass it along now. There is just so much going on with this resume I can barely understand how he wasn’t already working full-time? He was after all instrumental in transforming the bar from a neighborhood tavern into a popular college bar, he has past experience in “personel” and is a master of Microsoft Office. If anyone is interested, I can forward you his contact information.

Side note:
Once a rugby player knock him out with one just punch. Bone crunching. His knees just collapsed under him and he hit his face on the floor. And he wanted to collect on my bets?