Comic Reader Apps on iPhone? Suck.

Wired's Charlie Sorrel, who owes me five euros, has apparently spent it on comic book reading apps for the iPhone, which goes far to explain the strange prose stylings of his collective review of a couple of iPhone comic reader apps:

Is the iPhone a good platform for reading comic books?!?! Probably not, but that isn't stopping developers from having a crack at bringing the funnies to your pocket. BAM! The problem is that the iPhone's screen, while great for reading plain-text ebooks, is just a little too small for comic book pages! KABLOOIE! Part of comics' impact is the full, two-page spread which allows for spacing and pacing of the story. But a full two pages is obviously too much for the iPhone's screen! BAM! You can zoom in to read the individual frames, but that's kind of a pain! POTRZEBIE!

If you're interested in reading comics on your iPhone, check it out, though Charlie seems a tad disappointed that his extensive Cherry Poptart collection was essentially "unreadable" on every app he tried.
Comic Books on the iPhone? No Thanks [Gadget Lab]

Wow, Charlie can’t manage to write a review without the “a sign is here to mark the place where the dead horse was” BIFF BAM POW cliches so beloved by second-rate writers everywhere else.

It’s not that comics are unreadable on the iPhone, it’s that the comics Charlie was reading on the iPhone looked like shit. Charlie’s right in that two-page spreads will look like shit on a small screen. Charlie’s wrong that “Part of comics’ impact is the full, two-page spread which allows for spacing and pacing of the story.” There is so much more to comic storytelling than two-page spreads.