Aug 26, 2009

Does this explain enough?

I found this on Le Love. It totally explains what I'm feeling... Unfortunately.

When I think about you not being here with me (I actually think about you all the time), it makes me sick to my stomach. I miss you so much it physically hurts.

Whenever I talk about you, I feel a knot in my throat. I can't picture myself with anyone but you. And time goes by but, how I feel doesn't change, it never goes away, even when I hate you for leaving me, for not loving me enough, it doesn't weather. How I cried myself to sleep wishing I could feel you close to me one more time. How I wish I could just stop feeling because it hurts so much. I want to move on, I want to walk away and just remember you every now and then as someone I was fond of. I'm tired and frustrated because I don't understand you, I don't know what it is that you want or feel... sometimes I think you don't even know that yourself.

I can go and conquer the world and make my wildest dreams come true but, in the end you are not here. I feel as if I lost a part of me, you took and I want it back. I play it cool, I cry when no one sees me, I dream of you. I'm in hell.

About Me

I am a daughter, an aunt, a confidant, a best friend. I am a fighter, a brunette, a lover, a nerd, a lasting impression. I am a stubborn ass, a smart ass, a cute ass, a pain in the ass. I am a cowgirl, a sports fan, a music fanatic, a writer. I am a wanderer, a homebody, a talker, a hermit. I am a port in life's storm, an unfinished story, a mystery. I am a winner, a loser, a sinner, a God-believer. I am a worker, a doer, an achiever, a promise-keeper. I am a vision, a horizon image, a last-minute decision. I am a life-saver, a traffic-stopper, a world-shaker. I am a quiet night, a warm smile, a spirit-lifter. I am a smoky fire, a wink of the eye, a home. And while I firmly believe I am a better me than anyone could ever be, why do I feel like the girl on bended knee that no one can see?