jack and the beans talk

posted on June 2, 2007 at 6:10 am

saturday arvo at the edge of a salty green lakebirds squawk in the treesfish zip around just under the waters surfacesuns rays warming not burningthe fambley walks along on a carpet of grassup here in the “village” visiting my motherbeautiful profusion of flowersthe kids chatter n argue n run aboutwe cross the wooden bridgea field full of seedlings still in their bucketschimney on otherside of lake puffs out greysmokeaustralian afternoon goes on n onno nothing here can last for evereverything in fluxeverything tumbling headlong into timethe trees the lake the sky itselfi get older before my eyesis the mirror lying?the children get bigger n biggergee theyre well made , son says my mother watching themone day today will be a dreamsomewhere to try to get back tobut never succeedingi remember all the times of my lifethe good timesthe badde timesthe mansfield st days forever overmy childhood so far far awaycould i have ever been a childe?the salad daysthe halcyon daysthe glory daysthe hard yardsthe strugglesthe white nights which lasted foreverthe drives, the long drivesthe miles n miles n miles n milesme drivingploogy next to methe other 2 in the backsmoking dopeblasting musicno problemsno responsibilitydriving thru the deep night to get somewhereto play a gigsome motel somewhereanother room another bed another pilloweat the biscuits n make a cuppa teathe pool says closes at 10 and its 2 in the morning nowbut ploogys already ini scan thru the tv stationsi change the cassette on my walkman (with dolby)i undo my suitcaseand a hundred paisley shirts escapedressed in green suede boots n black levisgrey n red striped shirtmy earrings are blue mexican crossesi bought in…uh…mexicomy hair is in transition from blonde back to brownmy nose is sunburnti need to shavedo i ever wonder how itll be when im nearly 53?when i have a whole buncha kidss and all the restwhen i have crashed n burnt on the gearwhen i have come out the othersideand worked hard at not being a complete idiotdone ten thousand yoga posesdown ten thousand lapsstarted to paintstarted to actstarted to bloggeas my veins returnbut my conscience still troubledall the havoc i personally supervisedoh dont be hard on yerself beeing somesayoh dont be too soft on yerself either say othersthats what got ya in that messpeople say we love you beeingthank you people oh thank youlove plus gratitude are the keywordsthe words that make the water crystals so prettyyou think i turn my nose up at any lovei accept any love you offer, humblybut i hate schmaltziness n sentimentalityand giving some cynical smartass a chanceto write a scathing comment about usbecause i have been a withering cynic ofugly proportionsand ultimatelyits so easy to be horribleand so hard to really lay yourself openand say i love youeven if its just on a computerto some ancient hippy druidwho once accidentally wrote a songyer sister played onceand ya got to like it…my readersmy fiendssmy detractorsthose boredthose who can be botheredthis is my lifethe only one that sk is gonna getthanks for being herethanks for shoulders to cry onthanks for the nice things you writedont ever be sycophantsdont ever be yes men dont be nassty to me for the sake of ithere i amyour avuncular second rate prophetyour renaissance geezeryour delicate bricklayera huge vocabulary but i say fucki never foresaw all thisim appreciating itmy fambleymy readersmy second chance i probably didnae deservetrying to stay open n keep my edgei dont wanna turn out a loada sugary syrupy bullshitbut i wanna say i think about what you say to megen x blind angelh. heartverdelaymelqueewil-ojohnny g.a good guypatrik 12century house…a lovely blokecst of course~…nice stuff she writesall the bloody restandy candy the nep-tune dudedave mc duck (no i love yo more…wanna fight?)rikki tikki rox-tar, you groovy catand katlady ditheresequeenie heekie beaky hollersleannemr or ms b bon or bothgod who have i not mentioned yetjjerikall the anonymouses who read but never commentthe people who subscribe n put the not-bacon on my tablepeter podcaste who dreamed it all upmatty d (what are you addicted to….bad spelling?)all the nz crowd …hold on im comingbelfranque who is a troo friend n knight of kilbeedomallegedly k nejedly another duke of beinglandi know i forgot someonesomeone i thinkoh i should mention thembeing herecc escherbarkjaimedon joeanywayme mums got me tea ready now(how marilyn manson!)i gotta golove to alland peaceand healingamandai meant the healer needs faithnot the patientsee ya ttb

Steve, face it, everyday of your life you´ve been missing your childhood FRIEND: PLOOGY. He was your dearest and closest friend! Now move on a get him back in the band! Phone him and give him a hug again!

aside all else….thank you for the music{tres swedish ,no??}..i used to love to get really stoned,and lie in front of my “pioneer”stereo{back when pioneer was good}..i used to love to watch the equalizer dance…Nothing ever really made it dance like The Church{matter of fact..a sweet man smoochingly bought me every cd you gentleman had made for my 21st bday,and the stereo…back in 1992}…well cant see the equalizer anymore…my internal equalizer,dances like peter garret,when you guys bless my speakers…..amd..watch out world….another Gen eration of “Buckinghams[Douglas s}”…is on the earth…some of us more{or less}”angelic than others…a lady in a shop asked my little “Morgen”,if she liked “this pretty princess dress?”….”nah! My style is more kinda “Rock Chick Faerie..m not really a “pink kind of girl either”…ther is hope for the world..Its nice to know that,not only stoopid people are breeding..thanks{from the future}for having a part in this world…and the time space continu ummmm!love,as always….genx xxxxxx

and if you do call Mr Ploog…Be sure to tell him,that I said hello…was sitting beside him one night…a girl{for that reason}asked me for my autograph…i was dumbstruck….had a chuckle with him.and i slipped up and said”she must have thought i was someone important”…..”BUT YOU ARE IMPORTANT!!!!!”and ther began my unforgettable pep talk..i was 12 and trollied…you could imagine how much that would “spin you out”…..and best wishes to MWP and Peter,and Tim{though i have never met him{i dont think…as opposed to Snap the dropbear…..but thats another very dodgy story}…..xxxxxxgenx

i knew you at mansfield street and the masks on the wall and the photos of the twinnys who hid the remote control and the studio across the road with the gold recordsi remember you getting mad at the waiter that bought you ham on some sort of sandwich, and you telling him not just to take it off out back but to make a new one as you would know.i remember having to drive you home for a fix but still wanting to hang out with you.i remember you letting me off the hook saying that you had nothing to offer me.im glad you got off the junk. leanne

i won’t write schmaltzy bullshit but shit, there you go…your writing resonates and makes me think as well…you want me to be honest, well i will…most of the time your words and music are sublime (my other half just doesn’t get where you’re coming from but that’s his problem…non-believer and philistine that he is)…on infrequent and isolated occasions you can be a pretentious wanker…that’s ok, we all have our faults…mine are that i can get the shits very easily and that i’ve burned for another who’s not my partner and worse still consummated this craving…oh shit and i still burn for him…so we all end up in our own little version of hell at some time, whether it be an addiction to a substance or a person that we know damn well that we shouldn’t be having…ah steve have you ever burned for someone that holds the seeds of your destruction…-The Hellbound Heart

hellbound heart…..i m hearing ya…i dont mean to sound “preachy”…i do understand{oh hell,believe me,am an old gal n been on both sides of the coin that you speak of}funny that you call your partner your “other half” and refer to your lover as a whole person……two halves make a whole….two wholes make a partnership…not advising,just throwing light,from my thought process…words are so very powerful…n besides ….got no one to play with tonight n am full of kinetic wisdom{or crap}arms around ya baby..and the rest o the world{but h.h.you cant breastfeed the world….genx xxx

What a wonderful person you are. I’m truly humbled. It’s abeautiful Saturday arvo here in blighty. Enjoying some vegan real ale with the family and listening to AENT – great summer music.The second chance you DIDN’T deserve? How can you say that???? You’ve saved so many of us so times. Your music cutting through my loneliness and isolation on lots of bleak days. The backdrop to our lives.I’d accept the fight but you’re bigger and fitter than me…..you also have an amazing memory.I forget to mention that you’re a effing genius too.Love you more Steve,

Glad to see youre embracing all of it…the past, the present, the future all hold keys to you continuing to show us many more doors.. some we never saw coming…and if anything,… youve gotten edgier because of it.. from one musician to another.. from one fan to another!

oh ok, you know i love you too. As for the bad review, i just feel sorry for someone who cant get something beautiful out of something that I do but thats their loss. I’d rather wax my legs than listen to most of, say, Missys songs, but thats me.

x

ps Joycie’s book told me a lot more about you than you’d think, you havent changed Steve, the same determined kids still in there. Thats a good thing. There needs to be a sequel, seriously, please ask your mum to continue. I cried when i read about Russell and your dad, many sad moments, many joyous, funny, scary, insightful, a wonderful collection of moments because the important things in life are these little threads that become the tapestry of your life (hope thats not a song i just quoted!). An extremely brave and honest book, i tip my hat to your dear mum. And now I know who your painting itch must come from! Im surprised you didnt start earlier. One thing sk, I used to get chills wondering if you were going to be around for much longer during your dark years, it was a huge relief to realise that you’d come through the other side, at last.

pss wooden bridges, fields of seeds, did u take the camera?nz gigs not far away, you better take your camera for that!

Of yours Steve, Seance did that most for me. Alone in cold Canberra I was, and off to a Fly-ing start. I used to smoke pot then (~1990), which amplified it all.

This last month I finally re-got DB’s Scary Monsters on cd. I’ve been drawn to listen to “Teenage Wildlife” lots. Something about the tragedy of the passing of time – the loss of time – is able to be captured by music. Boy it can hurt.

Well, back at you SK. I’m glad to have helped in whatever way to allow you to get to this point. I really do appreciate your blatant disregard for conformism in today’s music world. THAT has been instrumental for me to cherish, love, respect, be in awe, envy and all shades thereof whilst watching and listening to your every word n note sung n spun out of the ether with THE group of contemporary times. A wise man once said “It takes a lot for individual efforts to be noticed. It’s is the controlled mob that promotes what we read n see n hear out there. TIt is these people who say the group is all an the individual is nothing, yet all great things have come from individual efforts” For an individual to be able to persist as one has through all forms of adversity shows a being true to his core values and beliefs. You state integrity being a staple part of the Church’s success; that I admire you for and you ability to continuously evolve your abilities. It’s awesome.

And to all fellow commentors. I acknowledge you for your contributions to help keep this colony extant. You are all unique and beautiful individuals who do have a purpose and a place on this planet; understanding that the face of the hypocracy in common culture has to change. I believe we are the ones doing that change. Evolution of this world to higher planes of existence must happen if we are to survive for the millenia to come. Look forward to sharing it with you:)

hmmm, i dunno, your sincerity seems limited. You have a innarestin way of padding the folks who say all the safe and right things…but who also have exposed themselves as wankers…im sorry, but I HAVE NOTICED….its like a gang or sumthing…speak outside those lines and you are lambasted or just tossed off-better yet-ignored.. Is this some sort of astro inclination?? i get the feelin you you dont want folks speaking to you in your own terms or such…its just odd…i mean ~ ? is that a joke or what? all the ass kissing ???? I’d say plenty are wide-eyed and brown-nosed…by the way, can anyone pin me down.?..i dunnot think so…because i type out some words on a computer?? There is a strange high school aura to all this…sorry…i come and go…i think i’ll leave for good. adios.*D

*DI apologise for my comment. Out of order. You’re welcome to express your view. It just isn’t nice when you call people wankers…a few of whom I do know outside of being “words on a computer”.We are a little family with ups and downs. But those I’ve met are great folks & I’m proud to know them. And as for ~ she’s a truly lovely, lovely person…..she even likes a scotch or two!!Take care all. You too *D.

Ah…how sweet. Steven, you’re just proving old F. Scott Fitzgerald wrong…people do have second acts in their lives (even in Australia!)

I just received your mum’s book in the mail yesterday. Goodness, I think John sent it on a supersonic jet or something – it got it extraordinarily fast. I haven’t started reading but I will today. The pics of you as a sweet little kid are worth the price alone. It’s hard for *me* to imagine you as a kid!!

Ok, and I admit, I skipped to the end, and what your mum said about yer dad…I know, I’m not allowed to get all schmaltzy here…but this Queen just got all teary eyed. So sweet…can’t wait to start at the beginning…thanks for a lovely blog today and love to your family.love,denisexxxooo

sk, i truly look forward to your blog, and also have made some new friendships, enjoy the reads, and of course, relate to what you say 90% of the time. your thoughts, wisdom, unwisdom, sadness, and a damn good sense of humor combo 🙂 and to be honest, i don’t get what other musicians write alot of the time. no ass kissing, but i can relate to you best, bottom line, because you are real.

one day today will be a dreamsomewhere to try to get back tobut never succeeding

right on.

luv, peace and [no] schmaltziness, to us all, because we are all we have!! happy weekend, all.

Sk excells when he writes about nature. However, if my donation is putting bacon on his table it better be “cruelty free” soy bacon. Paul McCartney’s new CD “Memory Almost Full” is magnificent. No trite or silly love songs. When he’s on nobody tops him. He’s not always on but on “Memory Almost Full” he laments and repents. Reminds me of another talented veggie rock star.

Back to yesterday’s blog and thoughts about addiction. Over 60 percent of alcoholics and other addicts are self-medicating as a means to battle anxiety, depression and other pernicious internal and external afflictions. Boston’s lead vocalist Brad Delp sang on the fighting addiction song “Higher Power”. He was one of nicest people in music and a longstanding vegetarian and animal welfare advocate. He did not have a substance abuse problem. He was engaged to be married and he was planning on touring. He suddenly took his own life a few months ago. We have to take life one day at a time. No one here gets out alive. But death is not the end, it is a transformation.

Moses (white hippy variety) by the lakeside in 2007, listening to the music of – squawking birds and whispering trees. Ordered mom’s book, though hasn’t arrived on these N.American shores yet. in Mexico again for the job thing, not so bad – seaside langour, little breakfast cafe serves up excellent oatmeal & creamy lattes while the sun rises over this jagged double mountain (the “twin peaks” that the natives call “Tetakawi”). Hotel has a nice pool, sailboats in the harbour. They have internet access here, so checking in on the adventures of the Time Being.

Please, no schmaltz, no ‘silly love songs” no McCartneyesque wasting of a talent on bubblegum tripe….ah, but I know you won’t decay into that molassess. Perhaps Macca has re-focused, based on comment above, dunno. “Glow Worm” coulda gone there, but you kept it safely in the integrity zone, emerging as beautiful track.

One other “Pharmakoi” comment before that topic leaves: I love the intro track….haunting, ethereal, little instrumental that sets the tone so well for the tracks that follow. Obscure one-minute of magic that stays with me. Similar to one used so effectively on Jack Frost (title escapes me at moment). Hell, I love the bit on Quick Smoke that follows The Feast (another underrated song I love)…..with simple guitar, drums and crying baby vocal – all are gems. Wonder who the vocalist was?

Got a few more days in San Carlos to finish a project next week, ready to go home though.

Another layer revealed.As I get older, as my kids grow bigger, I get a bit misty myself. I have a book in which I write down the funny things they say. Time seems to pass me by quick now that they are here, filling up my life in ways I’d never dreamed.Been thinking about growing old, where I’ve been, where I’m headed. On Monday, I turn 37. There was a point where I didn’t think I’d make it past 25, so this blog got me a little teary-eyed. But that’s a good thing.-z

nice to read your kind comments today. i don’t think anyone anticipated where this blog would go or what it would become. as someone who’s been here since day one (literally) i can say its been an interesting ride. 🙂

yeah, nothing schmaltzy in your dotage, please! i’d say that songs like Musidora and Jazz manage to nail it so well, poigantly and honestly, without getting anywhere near sentimental cheese.

you wrote: “but my conscience still troubledall the havoc i personally supervised”

You know, i’ve been thinking lately about the difference between one’s work and the outward personality that one manifests in the day to day. my girlfriend says that she can’t believe its the same person when she reads some of my work. it’s always steeped in the (literary) romantic, naive and optimistic, but in the day to day i’m grouchy, impatient, sometimes difficult to live with, inconsiderate, etc. I don’t deny that i get impatient with small things, because there’s so much to get out there, so much to tap into and convey, but one’s lifetime is so limited.

Which is the real person, the one that is reflected in the work or the day to day person? For me, i’m inclined to think that the me expressed in my work is truer – it reflects my inner world, anyway.

I know you often lament about the people you were short with in the past, the people you’ve hurt, the havoc. But i don’t believe that’s you. Your body of work says otherwise. I don’t think its an excuse for treating others harshly, but i do think that anyone who touches your work does understand where you’re honestly coming from.

anon at 12.05…a “ghastly parade” can be TRANSFORMED if we all wear odd socks,”dance like peter garret”,”love you more”dont “eat gods creatures”,”sing songs”of the “songs to learn and sing”,be fantastic{like andy,Honour our Hellbound Hearts,,,and “be{ing} here,doing this”……how many stories do you have to tell,about your life?and how much weight do they carry,as opposed to “this afternoons trip to the shop”…………need i remind you that its “the journey” thats important..not the destination!!

How quickly one goes from cherished readerand superior commenterto chopped liver substituteoh wellit was always going to end badly for methis i knew even when the synergy was fizzingthe power distribution was too lopsided from the startthe manipulation way out of my leagueand i was paying for itpaying for itwhat was i thinking?subsidising someone ele’s therapyyes i got heaps out of itthe sublime prose, the brand new word configurationsthe stingingly joyous vituperationbut fucki can find that elsewhereian mcewan’s latest is in my posessionand his genius is sustained

at least you have the good sensewith your only just frequent enough roll calls(does podcaste check the graphs and give you the sign?)to always name check that little mark chapman of yoursthe one safely tucked away in the statesfor nowsteeping in his own sweaty delusionschanging his handle frequentlybut never his focus

today’s blogge reminded me a bit of the song “pantechnicon” (sp?) with a little “after everything now this” sprinkled in. some days i swear i can’t tell the difference between an old photograph and a ghost.

i feel priviledged to be allowed to peruse such glimpses of your past. would you honor us with some old photos sometime?childhood, teen, emerging druid? i find those photos of you in your younger days on “freaky conclusions” mesmerizing. maybe even something like snippets from a journal from olde days of yore?

these blogges are like a day by day autobiography. some days this technology things is a blessing.thank you, one whom i consider friende.

Temper, temper P.Savant……you have been namechecked a loada times here before. An erudite fellow such as yourself could certainly not be trully offended? McEwan’s new book most certainly rocks(his examinations of the heart and the phsyche are unrivalled)…but it ain’t interactive is it? That’s what you paid for and that’s what you got.

Is that what you were after?

And to whomever D* is….go back if you can be arsed and check my posts. I’m nobody’s lapdog. I don’t agree with everything the old fella says but I support his right to say it, and everyone else’s here including you. There have been some hefty topics covered here where many have disagreed with him and lots came out swinging….where were you then? So come and go if you please, but this small community is made up of very diverse parts….more diverse than you can imagine so your generalist comments ain’t ever going to apply in truth. I spend a shitload of time in front of a computer and this provides an amusing distraction which punctuates my day. I’ve enjoyed it over the last year, and had quite a few good laffs which is why I came back here so often in the first place. There are some very nice people here….there are some dicks…much like the rest of the world, really.

Actually I try not to meddle at all.Only once when the Time being said something that may have got him in serious trouble.And when someone said I looked really old.That’s my vanity unit.I believe blogging is a self correcting system.Or at least a social experiment whose mores and decorums are still being formulated.Enough twaddle…