Tag: Happiness

Feel the Glow

One of our favorite mantras here at SFH is summed up by this quote, “Move and then move more, you will never regret it”. Exercise is one of the most important keys to unlocking a positive attitude, feeling confident, beautiful and celebrating the happy moments in life. And now that summer is in full swing, we’ve received a lot of questions about exercise and nutrition from our readers so we thought it would be perfect timing to list our exercise recommendations, beginning with a good run!

I love to run (more than the rest of the team) and I know a lot of women who are avid runners these days. It’s one of those things that doesn’t require previous athletic ability in order to get started. And the results are amazing!

I can’t begin to explain how running has personally impacted my life but it has been vital to my health, both physical and mental. Our lives are busier now than ever and the stress from the way we live in 2018 can take a toll on our ability to stay focused on what’s important. Research on this subject confirms when we run, we not only release endorphins but also enhance the growth of new nerve cells in the brain that are linked to learning and memory. Running also builds bone density (an important key to our health as we age), gives us a better self-image, stimulates confidence both mentally and physically, helps to increase metabolism and provides an overall feeling of well-being. Seriously, ladies, who doesn’t want a little of this medicine?

If you want to begin running and you’ve never been a runner, be sure you’re in good health before you begin. If necessary, visit your doctor for a checkup and let them know you’re going to begin a running program. Start slow and work up to your goals at your own pace so you see and feel results and don’t get discouraged.

Here we go!

#1

Carve out 30 minutes of your day (4x per week) to either run on the treadmill or outside. I prefer outside but sometimes the weather doesn’t cooperate so the treadmill is my next best option.

#2

Be sure to make yourself accountable by telling a friend you’re beginning a running program or post on social media that you’ve begun your training. Get others involved so you have to provide updates. This will get you out the door on days that you’re not feeling it and help you see progress sooner than later.

#3

Buy a great pair of running shoes, make a “running” playlist to take with you on your run (I use Spotify), wear comfortable clothes and hit the road! I’ve outlined a basic training week below that you can replicate to get started. Continue to use the training program weekly to help guide your progress.

Day 1: 30 Minutes

Warm up by running in place for a few minutes and then stretch out your calf and thigh muscles using basic stretches. Don’t stretch too hard, just a nice soft stretch to help eliminate any potential leg cramps or muscle tightening.

When you get out on your first day, time yourself and stay out for 30 minutes. Do a run/walk combo. I recommend running for 1 minute, walk for 2 minutes. Run for 1 minute, walk for 2 minutes. Do this run/walk system the entire 30 minutes your out for your run.

Don’t forget to hydrate! Water will help you to not only feel less fatigued when you’re finished but will also help flush out the toxins your body will be processing from sweating.

Day 2: 30 Minutes

Repeat Day 1

Day 3: Rest Day

Day 4: 30 Minutes

Repeat Day 1

Day 5: 30 Minutes

Repeat Day 1

Day 6: Rest Day

Day 7: 30 Minutes + Miles

Today you should map out how far you’d like to run and increase your run/walk to 5 minutes running and no more than 2 minutes walking. At this point, you should see a slight difference in your stamina and the ability to run longer than you did on Day 1.

Repeat this first week for the next several weeks and eventually, you will be running a full mile without walking!

We definitely want to hear from each of you who begins a running or exercise program so be sure to post on our She’s Finding Happy Facebook page. Let’s inspire each other with pictures, updates, progress, milestones, etc! We can’t wait to celebrate with you!

Now Let’s Talk Nutrition:

Beginning any workout or exercise routine requires a healthy diet so don’t cheat your body of healthy proteins and fats. Here are a few easy and delicious recipes I recommend from our Health and Nutrition contributor, Chef Karista Bennett. Enjoy!

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I watched an awesome video this week of my nephew, Sebastian, who had just learned to ride a bike. My brother posted it on Facebook which allowed our family to share in the momentous occasion. I miss my family and I miss my little Sebas; only just six years old and passionate about absolutely everything and I’m not embellishing, this kid is hard-core happy about life!

What struck me like a big thump on the head (and the heart) was the way in which my brother handled Sebastian’s triumphant success on his bicycle. You see, Sebastian was doing fantastic and then, as bicycle riders in training often do, had a bit of a nasty spill and hit the ground hard. You could hear my brother in the background saying “Doing good, doing good….oh, and there he goes, takes a spill and keeps on going!” And then you hear my brother yell at the top of his vocal chords…”You go Sebas, good job buddy!” And off my nephew rides, so proud of himself and clearly thrilled that Dad was standing close to cheer him on.

What I witnessed in the video was a father so deeply engaged in his child’s life that his six-year-old was able to recover from a disappointing fall, dust himself off and regain control of his bike. No tears, no tantrums, just a face of determination. Little Sebastian displayed pure confidence and resilience; two qualities found in children who are taught to believe in themselves and who watch their parents’ daily example of confidence and resilience.

The bike wasn’t going to get the best of Sebastian and you could see it on his face. At the end of the video, he looked up with a grin that spread from ear to ear. It was beautiful and not just because it was my completely adorable nephew, but because you could see the future in that face…hard-core happy about life and the beginnings of a really great man.

I watch her as she handles life, friends, school and responsibility and I think to myself, “I love the person she has become.”

As a mother, one of our many worries in life is who our children will grow up to be. Will they aspire to greatness? Will they know happiness? Will they be good people? Will they be the amazing and successful individuals we think they can be? These are normal parental questions that we all ask ourselves at one point or another. And, there are times, let’s just get this out there, that we want to simply close our eyes from the sheer exhaustion of it all and hope for the best…especially when they become adolescents!

My sister, who raised an adolescent before me, told me once, “Relax, she’s an adolescent and adolescent means to simply to be immature…you can’t expect someone in the throes of adolescense to do everything you want them to do, it’s just not going to happen.” Wise words from someone who did it before me and very good advice because I found myself in a constant state of worry that my child would not make good decisions or display some long-term effects from the stress of divorce and a strained relationship with her father. I worried that every pull away from me was a signal that something was wrong.

What I’ve learned is that parents who are engaged in their child’s life will innately know when a pull is just a sign of independence or a sign of a problem. Our children will absorb our guidance and our love even if they do not express it; they pay more attention to us than they want to admit. I’ve also learned that my child is who she is, she’s not me and that difference is something that a parent needs to consider. Our children will most definitely approach life with a different view or tackle an obstacle in a way that is completely foreign to us but that’s okay, because they are who they are and that should be celebrated.

I love who she’s become and I’m even more excited to watch who she will eventually be. I am discovering there is a fine line to walk, as a parent, learning to allow our children to be whom they want to be while at the same time guiding them towards their potential. What fun this is, what beauty unfolds everyday; it’s like watering an exotic plant and waiting to see it in full bloom.

One of life’s most bitter pills to swallow is the realization that perhaps you haven’t quite conquered the pain of your past demons. Sometimes these pesky guys find a way into your everyday life no matter how hard you have worked to overcome them. At that moment, your heart splits wide open as your mind beats you up for momentarily losing the battle. And then a sobering sense of reality falls upon you and allows you to acknowledge that you are only human and recognizing the pain from the past makes you stronger as long as you leave it there.

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs. ~Euripides, Alexander

Leaving the past behind and learning to get rid of the clutter the past can sometimes deposit into our brains, is a healthy step to keeping a life full of love, peace and satisfaction. It is not that any of us, including myself, wish to have these moments clutter our lives and make our hearts more vulnerable and insecure. Most of us just want to move on and feel the freeing sense of peace that enveloped us when we made the decision to move our lives forward in the first place.

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness. ~James Thurber

It seems the first step to keeping ourselves from having to swallow that bitter pill more than once in a lifetime, is to acknowledge the past for what it was but never allow it to control us, our lives, our hearts or our minds. Leave it in the past and know that who we are today is a stronger, better version of who we were then. The second step is to surround ourselves with those who will love us unconditionally; however, will not allow us to fall into the trap of dwelling on the past. Sometimes “tough love” is the best kind of love for those of us who have worked diligently to leave the hurt behind but find ourselves in a moment of emotional self-destruction. These individuals, who love us for who we are, provide us with the compassion and honesty that are key to our success. Sophocles said it beautifully…

“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is LOVE.”

If you are struggling with hurt, insecurity or another demon from the past, embrace the NOW and those you love who are in the NOW with you. Leave behind those things that weigh you down and keep you from living the productive and happy life you were meant to live. Embrace the beauty of the present and look forward to the joys of the future.

“Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have.” — Norman Vincent Peale

There are times in our lives when we reach a crossroad before us and we haven’t a clue how to proceed. We are faced with a challenge, a difficult decision or a painful life dilemma and it lingers around us begging for answers. We want out of the house of fear but end up succumbing to the safety net of not having to make a difficult decision because we are afraid of the unknown, afraid of the obstacle and unsure of the path we should take. We have all been at this point; however, what separates us from the rest is how we overcome the fear and conquer the obstacle that is keeping us from reaching goals or simply moving life forward.

Fear keeps us from success because it causes deep-rooted insecurity, anxiety and low self-worth. This unfortunately leads to poor decision-making and/or ignoring the inevitable or on the flip side, ignoring the possible.

I was fortunate to be among a group of women at a professional women’s event recently where one of the speakers said something powerful that resonated deep inside, “If you must make a difficult decision, ask yourself this question, am I making this decision out of fear or out of courage?” – Dr. Deborah German. Dr. German’s point being, always make your decision out of courage, even if you fail. The courageous decision will move your life forward, allow you to unlock the door and exit the house of fear which releases you from the anxiety and insecurity blocking your success.

Many of us find ourselves facing obstacles everyday, some more difficult than others; however, as women, as mothers, as friends we have the power within to fight back, be courageous, be supportive of each other and move our lives forward; leaving behind the house of fear and opening doors to finding success and pursuing wonderful new dreams.

A few weeks ago, I witnessed how a friend of mine had so deeply instilled a sense of appreciation and gratitude in her children. I watched and I admired love and graciousness and although the economic times had delivered a severe blow to their family, there were smiles, there were hugs for everyone, there was a sense of well-being despite the tough circumstances. They displayed appreciation for their parents and the sacrifices they had made to make all of their lives complete…I thought to myself, these are good parents and we could all learn a little something from them.

Raising children who appreciate what they have been given can be a daunting task for parents these days. Perhaps it is our incessant need to be their friend instead of their parent, perhaps it is a lack of time to invest in instilling gratefulness, perhaps it is easier to cater to their every need rather than say “no” and have to wage a battle of wills.

I’m the first to admit parenting is a complicated job because it requires not only our full-time attention but our emotional and mental strength and let’s face it, there are not too many of us with a lot of spare time in our day. Whether you are a work-at-home parent or a work-outside-the-home parent, life is fast paced and full of “gratefulness obstacles”. Taking the time to teach our children to appreciate not only what they have, but to appreciate us as their parents is imperative to raising a well-balanced child who will eventually become a well-balanced and successful adult.

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. ~G.K. Chesterton

A child who is appreciative typically understands what you’ve sacrificed or given whole-heartedly as a parent (even if they are not willing to admit it). This also creates respect, which is a key element to appreciation and gratefulness. There has been enormous debate recently, regarding the Tiger Mom and her views on parenting and although this concept is from a completely different culture and not widely accepted or utilized among the typical American family, it does spark conversation on how we, as parents, can successfully instill responsibility and respect into our children. I believe there is a middle ground out there that works but it is not without parental effort, dedication and follow through.

Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart. ~Henry Clay

Through my parenting years I’ve learned that in general, children do not see past what effects their immediate world, which is a natural response, especially for the challenging teen years. On the flip side, it’s important to consistently discuss gratefulness and appreciation with our children and provide examples of what it means and how it feels. Asking them to write a thank you note for a gift, requiring them to say “thank you” every time someone, even a family member, does something nice or helpful, helping someone in need and even parental instruction, advice and rule setting can bring about a more grateful and appreciative child. They may not see the lesson or the love as the instruction leaves your lips, but it will most certainly be heard and felt and it will provide a basis for gratitude because it shows you care.

I believe in asking our children to work hard for good grades, be responsible with their time, help with chores around the house, be respectful and loving to parents and siblings and in return, mom, dad or both provide the things they need and/or want. When disrespect, ungrateful expectation and taking parents for granted come into the picture, it’s a red flag to take a step back and evaluate life in your home. Raising children who appreciate their home and their surroundings, naturally brings with it loving side effects like graciousness, self-respect, self-confidence and overall happier children…that is well worth the effort.

“I have the power to change my world, to change my circumstances, to change myself, to make a difference and I alone have the power within to be happy.”

Some years ago, I sat at the top of the stairs in the home I had created and I realized, it was now just a house. I felt alone and as if my feet were stuck in cement and I could not move myself out of my life drama. Some years ago, I lost my HAPPY. I couldn’t find it no matter how hard I tried. Everything seemed cold, empty and pointless.

Not too long after that deeply pathetic moment I discovered empowerment. Mostly because, quite frankly, I could not stand the sad, needy, wisp of a woman I had temporarily become and I discovered that if I could find my HAPPY, I could empower myself to move forward, reach goals and see change.

So how do you empower yourself to find your HAPPY and change your world you ask? Hmmm…well, I put a lot of thought into that and tried a few things that worked and a few things that did not work. However, I’ve narrowed down my recipe with three ingredients to finding your HAPPY and getting your self-empowerment and self-motivation back on track…here we go!

FEED YOUR MIND

We feed our bodies food and water, even vitamins so why not feed our mind, heart and soul? When I was at my lowest point in life I became a ferocious reader. I would take myself and my daughter to the library, find a stack of books for her and a stack for me. I love reading from real books but audio books are good too, especially if you have a long commute each day. I read everything inspirational and instructional that I could find on those dusty shelves. I drank in knowledge, perspective, instruction and guidance on everything that applied to my life at that moment. I knew that if I could arm myself with information, I could begin to thaw out my brain and think things through on a different level. It worked. It was a satisfying meal for my mind.

FEED YOUR HEART

So, this one was tough because sometimes our hearts are cut and bruised and there’s not a band-aid in the world that stops the bleeding. However, there’s no better medicine for a hurting heart than to do for others who have less. YES, you heard me, give of yourself, your time, your expertise, your assistance. I know what your thinking, “are you kidding me? I’m a mess! I can’t help anyone!” Okay, yes, those words crossed my mind a time or two and perhaps even left my lips as I was talking out loud to myself; however, if you can find somewhere to volunteer and help make someone else’s life better, you will have provided your hurting heart the medicine it needs to recover and at the same time, given valuable and maybe even life changing help to someone in need besides yourself. I’m not suggesting you spend all of your free time volunteering, but find something that will fit into your life and commit to it. You will begin to discover that while you are helping the world around you, the cut heals, the bruising goes away, the starvation leaves and life begins to seem more beautiful. And then…real happiness begins to enter back into your heart.

FEED YOUR SOUL

Feed your soul with something that touches you on a spiritual level. I’m a nature girl and I feel completely at peace outside with the trees, birds and blue sky. For me, long walks or runs in the outdoors takes my soul to a place that restores me on a level like no other. It’s my church. However, it doesn’t matter what works for you, a Catholic church, Jewish Synagogue, Mosque or traditional Christian Sunday School. It’s finding a place where you can quiet your mind and your soul long enough to hear God. I grew up going to a traditional Christian church and I remember what I felt when truly in the presence of this higher being. It still resonates with me. Feeding your soul is as important as feeding your mind and your body. I found this to be paramount to my empowerment and my well-being.

Finding your happy is a continual process. It eventually leads to the deepest joy imaginable and you will soon realize that it’s a product of understanding the power you have to change your circumstances and thus the world around you. It’s a journey, so don’t sprint, take your time to walk the road, view the beauty, reflect and listen. You will begin to see a change and feel true happiness.