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We have all heard of the tantrums that can come with young children heading off to school. The fears and worries about being away from home and the separation anxiety that can occur. There are, however, other important problems that parents need to be aware of. The following is a discussion of some issues that parents and caregivers need to be aware of with their little preschoolers as they begin their educational journeys.

Preschoolers are beginning to test their boundaries. When you send them off to school, they may seek an independence that results in tantrums. These tantrums can be seen when they grab for others toys, hit, and bite. They may be defiant and try to test the boundaries that teachers and parents set for them because they are just beginning to learn what boundaries are. Do not be upset when your children do this, simply redirect them. Know that this is a normal and very appropriate thing for them to do. They need correction, yes, but do not assume that these behaviors are a signal for a predisposition to aggression. Rather, they are a step toward a very normal and healthy life.

As mentioned, toddlers and preschoolers are learning what independence is and independence is important. But their behaviors are age related and age significant. Three year olds and those who just turned four should be acting out and stretching boundaries. However, four year olds and assuredly at five, children should be able to self-regulate their aggressive behaviors. This is not a hard and fast rule, however, it is something to be aware of. If your child cannot regulate himself or herself by late four or early five, then you may need to see if there is a deeper problem occurring. Children will act out for attention or as a signal of a deeper psychological problem or trauma. Be aware of this, and seek help for your preschooler if they continue to fight back against the rules.

If a problem is occurring at school but not at home or vice versa, change your behaviors. Children become accustomed to one sort of environment prior to school and then are placed into a totally new environment. If there are problems occurring at school, see how the environment is different. You may have to change your behavior to bring the classroom setting home in order to allow your child to thrive at both. If your home life is hectic and chaotic, then, the serene structured environment of school can be hard to adjust to. Try bringing that calmness home and see if your child’s school behavior improves. If not, seek medical advice to be sure something else is not occurring.

Even though they are young, remember, school can be traumatic for little ones. Be prepared to make some changes in your life and try to guide your child by setting both achievable and strong boundaries. Talk to your healthcare provider, child’s teacher, or others if you have any concerns. You are there advocate and even though they are getting on that school bus, they need you more than ever.