I'm turning 49 in a little over a week. My 40s have been rough, but I have managed to lose over 40 lbs and have type 2 diabetes and blood pressure issues under control. I'm about to switch into single status after a 25+ year marriage has ended. This year is a huge transition for me, so I thought I should introduce myself to the most well-equipped demographic here to hold my hand (or give me a loving kick in the pants) through it all.

My name is Georgia. I've peeked in here before and found you all delightful. I live in California. I'm a Renaissance woman (I do lots of different stuff). And I'm currently part of the Sandwich Generation, raising two teen sons on my own and managing dramas-of-the-moment for my aging and ailing parents.

I don't like my achy joints, graying hair and slowly diminishing eyesight, but I find my advancing wisdom and self-confidence to be great superpowers. Every month, as my dates with TOM become less frequent, I worry about a slowing metabolism and losing the elasticity in my skin...until TOM actually shows up and drains me of my strength and all my clean underwear for a week.

So, tell me there's hope for my metabolism, that I'm not doomed to weighing over 300 lbs for the rest of my life (my body just WILL NOT GIVE UP ANOTHER OUNCE) and that my skin will snap back, somewhat, at least enough so I can just tuck it into my jeans (if my boobs would move out of there) and disguise it with a crisp white shirt and a sexy boyfriend jacket.

And tell me that being on my own at this stage of life is an excellent opportunity...I seem to need constant reminders.

I'm not a regular member of the 50s forum, though I certainly qualify and I love the ladies in here... but I CAN absolutely tell you that there is Life After 50, and it is more than worth living, even heavier than we prefer to be.

I turn 53 in just over a month, went through menopause fully in the last year... I didn't grow a moustache or anything... I'm still losing weight reliably so long as I remain dedicated, and as far as I can tell, my skin is retreating along with my tummy. Be reassured!

My husband passed away most unexpectedly just over 2 years ago, and so I well understand your feeling that from that point forward, my life would just be one long, slow slide of physical failings, difficulties and disappointments... as I worked through my grief, there were some pretty rough spots, I won't deny it. But I did make it out the other side. And I am happy to report there are new joys to be experienced and yes, even love to be had. But the important thing is, the time I spent on my own was, if not wonderful, invaluable. I discovered strengths I did not know I possessed... learned to challenge myself in new ways. It was tough. But so rewarding.

I learned to prime my well pump, how to use a drill, a pressure washer, to muck out my hen house all by myself, buck hay, limb trees... I can fix a leaky irrigation system, drag and fertilize my pastures... all tasks my husband used to handle but for which I became solely responsible. Along with all this, I kept my full-time business running and finished a major house remodel which had been started with my husband. In time I came to grips with all my new responsibilities, and because of that my confidence increased. I learned what I was made of. And I CAN do anything I put my mind to -- including losing all this useless weight I've accumulated. You're right, Georgia -- it's not coming off as fast as it did in my younger years. But it IS coming off. And I can stick with my plan as long as necessary to make it happen.

Last Saturday night, 60 excess pounds still on and all, I was soundly seduced by my stunningly fit and gorgeous handyman (bow-chicka-wow-wow!) and ended a lengthy drought in the bedroom. This complicates life a bit, since an old flame comes to visit for a week in mid February... but I guess there are worse problems than having to sort out too many paramours.

The achy joints will abate with weight loss... there's great hair color for the grey, and a good set of contact lenses can work wonders for the ailing eyesight!! Your life is far from over. Live up to your potential; take on your tasks, challenging though they may be. Life will reward you in so many ways! Please don't despair. You can do this, and so much more.

All the best, Rae

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Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

Hi Georgia,
My name is Lynn and I also post in the Golden Girls thread – please feel free to join us. First, welcome to a VERY supportive and friendly group of ladies. Next, let me respond to some of your statements.

“I'm about to switch into single status after a 25+ year marriage has ended.”

Being single, as everything else in life, has its ups and downs. From an eating point of view, makes it a lot easier to control what you buy/prepare/eat. From a psychological point of view, makes it harder/easier (depending on the situation) to keep a positive attitude. My DH died in June of 2006. We had enjoyed a 27-year relationship. I loved him VERY much and miss him a lot. However, as everyone always says, loss gets easier to deal with over time.

“…have type 2 diabetes and blood pressure issues…”

Of course, eating right, losing weight, and exercising will help with both issues. I also have both issues and am keeping them in control. My goal is to get off the medications. There are several folks on this thread with both issues.

“I worry about a slowing metabolism”

Actually, not just aging, but also dieting can slow down your metabolism. Right now, a couple of us are trying something called “Crack the Fat-Loss Code” to speed up our metabolisms. Most important, eat healthy & don’t starve yourself to keep your metabolism working.

“So, tell me there's hope for my metabolism, that I'm not doomed to weighing over 300 lbs for the rest of my life (my body just WILL NOT GIVE UP ANOTHER OUNCE)…”

My rule-of-thumb for when I’m stuck is to do something new. Of course, one strategy is to decrease calories and increase exercise. However, once your calorie intake is as low as you can stand, and your exercise is as much as you can stand, the next step is to try something new.

Georgia, I know it’s a cliché, but your attitude is in your control. My number 1 suggestion here is daily gratitude statements. Every morning, begin your day with identifying something for which you are grateful. This helps you to focus on the positives in your life.

I hope to see your posts in our 50+ threads. We have lots of great ladies who post on these threads and we would love to have you join us.

Ladies, thank you for the warm welcome. I will be checking in with the Golden Girls, but I may send some personal IMs, if you're agreeable with that. I'm finding that the more people I keep in contact with about my goals and efforts, the more likely I am to stay OP.

I'm still dealing with legal matters this week, and into next week, so my time on the computer is more limited for now. But I'm going to be on track. It's a promise I'm making to myself.

I looked into the Fat-Loss Code and found a copy of the book at Barnes and Noble for $8+ (including shipping). I found somewhere on the Internet that week 1 of the program limits carbs to 20 gm. Wow. That's even less than Atkins. I've been keeping my carbs under 200 gm and my daily fiber near 30 gm or more, because I'm Type 2 diabetic, but it's really difficult to accomplish that. I found a list of high fiber, low carb veggies and fruits, so I need to increase those foods and cut out the rest of the carbs. I've always eaten whole grain foods (not the refined stuff). I don't usually have cravings for carbs, but when I go very-low-carb, I do have strong cravings. I already tried to drop the carbs this week, I'm struggling to get under 100 gm/day.

The other thing I struggle with is fat intake. I love butter, but I have sent it away. So instead, I use olive oil, nuts, unprocessed coconut oil, avocados. All really nutrient rich fats, but fats nonetheless. I have a REALLY HARD TIME getting my fat intake under 100 gm/day. I know I can cut back on that by switching out some of the foods I eat. For now, I've stopped eating red meat altogether. I'm limiting whole eggs to one a day, filling in the rest of my omelets with egg whites. I haven't eaten any fried foods in a very long time. I'm making a little headway, but I still love to dress my veggies generously with olive oil. And I really love having half an avocado at breakfast. It helps me feel full.

Hunger is my real struggle. I don't know if what I'm feeling really is hunger. Many times I feel hungry within an hour of eating. Sometimes, if I'm really busy or engrossed with what I'm doing, I don't feel hunger for hours, and even then, my blood sugar will drop and I will feel giddy and depressed before my stomach tells me I need to eat. I don't experience satiety. I'm either empty or stuffed. And feeling stuffed has been comforting in the past. That definitely needs to change!

I don't like to "exercise", but there are things I like to do. I like to use my rowing machine, and I like weight training. I like how I feel after I stretch. I like to go on gentle hikes in the mountains. On rare occasions, I feel compelled to go for a jog, and a few times I indulged my impulse. But it wasn't as pleasant as I wanted it to be. I don't mind getting sore muscles. I just don't like my lungs burning! I don't believe I'll ever be chased by a bear or lions, and I don't feel the need to prove myself with an Ironman event or marathon, so I don't find any value in becoming a runner. I just want to be strong and healthy and have my body and fitness level be there for me when I need it to be. I want to play tennis someday. I want to go rowing/kayaking on the delta. I want to go on hiking trips with friends who have a similar fitness level as me. I want to go dancing for hours and not come home with knees in pain.

So, I know what I want and I know what my challenges are. I'm not ever going to give up on myself. I just need to be consistent in my efforts so I can break past this self-imposed plateau and break past the 300 lb mark. For some reason, I get close to 300 lbs and I freak out. I'm not sure why. I think my weight helps me to manage some part of myself that I can't manage intellectually or emotionally. I sure wish I could sort that out!

Okay, that's enough for now...catch you all later with the Golden Girls.

Just wanted to add my welcome to the others. I, too, am a "Golden Girl", and while I can't say that I'm exactly thrilled with the way time is flying by for me these days, I CAN (and do) say that there's loads of living to do after 50 (and especially after 49 ). I know that I'm busy (sometimes too much so) and happy enough with my life these days. I was divorced back in 1995, and no, no, no...that was far from the end, trust me. I am now married to a fella who treats me like a queen, I have some amazing children and grandchildren, some fantastic friends (including the "Golden Girls") and a job that I complain about chronically, but it's actually a pretty challenging one that pays well. Oh, yes indeed, I am, like everybody else here, working to get the extra pounds off, but in the general scheme of things, it's not such a terrible fly in the proverbial ointment.

So, welcome - we, your older "sisters" are happy to have you with us.

Zoë

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"Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning the devil says, 'OH CRAP, SHE'S UP!'"

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