Catching the silence in the crying angels arms again. Drinking alone, trying to fit myself inside the melody as the lights flicker on and off and on again.I looked best in the bar light, with smoke covering my heart. Ice chips on the floor of every place I felt free, tripping amongst the dead, racing breath to the chance of ever making it out.I cut through tomorrow and attempted to spell my name without letters.I'll let go if you promise you will too .Can you still feel my hands in the darkness of the night? I was created to be broken apart by you. I hope you'll not forget me.Soak all of my words before they are free on the white paper, I'll own them just once. You said something only I could hear and I forgot who I was for a second. That last moment before the lies covered all that remained. Just before another panic attack broke your silence, and the clothes you wore burnt your skin like this drink burns my throat.

I was told that heaven waits down on those two lanes out of here, but I'm still glued beside the girl who taught me how to hide.When is it that will we arrive ? Will the chaos have left town by the time all the tracks they are laying are in their right place ? Town full of hopeless dreamers, fallen walls and the city bridge gets lost in the skyline of smoke. Frozen to the half lit alleys with the dogs' teeth in my back, won't you come and stop the frost from reaching my bones ?Between the black and white keys she mumbles my name again and again before the drums of the night fill this city full.Full of dreamers' damaged hearts on the fate fallen streets. Full of our broken wings in The Hanging Tree.Full of unkempt heroes on their way back home.I remember all the places you sang of when we were just children dancing in rags. I held that sister to my heart for years, lost deep in the suicide, searching for a pathway back. Fallen stars cover my feet and the place I once called home fell into the darkness she hid deep inside of me.But if you want to walk beside these broken bones you better ask yourself the final question of reason. You'll need to always remember that my name is hidden in the steal of that city bridge. But I'll take a lunge at love if you don't mind holding the sickness that I lost inside myself.Who is it that I think I see from behind the window in this house of every great lost dream ? Is it her or is it me ? At least twice a week now these rats crawl from my eyes, out across my cheeks, and escape into the suffocation of another day. And it takes all the energy I have left to ignore everything that I see when I am alone in these memories.

I taught myself how to trap angels it was the only way to ignore the constant agony.I would lay notebooks filled with words on the floor around my bed, then down they would fly to search for their names and before they could escape, my smoke cloud would cover their wings in sadness making them too heavy to lift.What else could I have done for them ? I can't stand the freedom of their flight, I always thought that angel wings should be stripped away so people can see past what they believe to be. Sometimes when the nights get colder I open the old box I've hidden from sight and pick through the bones of all the angels I've trapped here in this empty room, it's just another way to ignore this constant agony for a short time.

Dirt pushed aside as his marks are left in the corners of my mind. From behind her eyes I once saw everything, but now only black caverns remain on her face, her smile just a fractured line, no words leave her, the hornets fly free as the attempted escape fails again. Where did the day go ? Who covered the light that was meant to guide us ? Grey crosses fill the gaps left behind, an unsettling heavy breath repeats its secrets. I'm lost in this place.Who is it that follows my body covering the footprints I thought I was leaving to follow back ? All I see are the bones of dead animals. I'll try to build myself a shelter from the evil coursing though me, as I don't want you to see the side of me that I can't explain. Her faceless body stands watching me from every doorway, behind each broken promise, between the ivory handles of every knife you've hidden from my desire to be free. And behind her stands me, I see myself from this hole and I know I'll not hear my own screams.

As words attempt to fall out, the piano keys flicker through the oil stained skies and the poets trapped here try hopelessly to write their way out. My records spin slower as the streets close in around my track marked arms, caught in a past that I've never truly known, but belief is stronger than regret. What cuts my eyes open as the winter pretends to be summer in front of your fading fire? I could write beside him forever, or at least until the homecoming parade gets washed away by another flood. Can this mind really take much more ?And they tell me I must search inside to find a Lord to follow through the gun shots and leaking bodies laid down in the streets of our asking.Slowly I'm crushed, and more than ever before I'm laying this heart out on the dry ground for the crows to pick apart as the sun that is mine lifts up above all the death that I've seen.And I remember how you looked when you told me you'd never give up, long before you finally did.

When that dark blue light falls from the fire straight between our bodies, that's where the truth shines through the unfocused sky. I hear the emptiness rattling around inside your chest and I know that the nights are still unchanged. Becoming more and more addicted to the loneliness but wearing better disguises day after day. I still fill the hollows with blue and wait for the calls to guide me home, into the highest trees, the answers are carved into the aged wood and only through my bird eyes can I see it. The streets fade into darkness, the hills open wide and accept my returning. I beg to be forgotten by the world.To leave only words behind me.

Are my dreams of you covered in black or is every window shattering before my tired eyes ?There is at least another 26 miles back home to the Unforgotten Pain, and I know every step so well. Maybe a tomorrow far down the track is where we will try again, but because there is no place to hide I'll cry in her arms till the only reason left is you.Will you find me on my knees begging again to your flame covered beauty for one last answer ? I had no choice but to write this to you, wherever you are.So what if I must go ? Will you forget my life ?It's getting harder to just be, especially now that the light has retreated back behind the autumn. I do this to leave you something. I do almost everything for you, and you still can't see in my eyes that I'm fading. The sickness holds my arms back from the page and every passing second is a fight that I can never really win. However much I try to stop it I can't halt the cold in my veins.Maybe one more pack of cigarettes will help, maybe you'll see me again in the morning or maybe you'll just find this to read.

Will you pick my feathers from the river if I drift below the light ? Collect every last one until I can return to your voice ? You know I gathered all my aching strength from being alone, you told me in a song, you gave me your words to take with me everywhere.How many times will I bite my lip before my senses break apart for good and I'm so sorry my eyes hurt too much to really open some days.

But I'll never tire of you, and how we love.

I'm coming back soon to watch the sky unfold, and plant the seed of the answer just beneath your skin. I just hope I'm not too late to rise back above the light to wait and see if you can place all my feathers back from where they fell.

Your lips try to tell me you love me but your eyes only ever say goodbye.From deep within the mirror, devils point straight at me with long broken boned fingers. Only the lonely get lost and I'm lonely.I lose your hand on the stepping stones back to the darkness and know I'll have to fall alone into the black again. There's a sensation when you slide your knife beneath my skin that nothing else can compare to, that and the black ghost creeping through my veins are all I've ever craved. My insides ache for your hot breath in my blood and the fire you hold in your fingers. I still scream for more because I've given up caring.Twisted insides spill out onto the sweating ground, pulse slows and I see nothing but your arms, open and exposed to the fires of the night.There is only one place I can kiss you to burn your heart, it's something I'll never apologise for. Forget who you were and open your torn stockinged legs to who I'll make you. Take my fractured mindMake all the old pain stopand I'll love you harder than death.

Let me see it while I still can before the bonfire at the end, when it burns straight through us like the fire of truth. Who says we have it when the constant pulling won't let us go? I'll watch your back if you show me the track burns on your struggling skin. You told me that it rained in the night, the same night we lost him to the owl's lonely eye. In the last dim light I try to call for help, but the night will end no matter how in need we are.Can you see the burning of the bridge ? It's the last way out. Black engine sky guides us from this place, the near city's edge, where the blade swings like a sign. Your light shines on the roof of the west as the old skin burns away.