What to do when life gets stressful

Life has a funny way of happening.

Sometimes it unfolds like a beautiful rose in the springtime. Other times life dumps everything on you at once.

It reminds me of the difference between a gentle rainstorm and a hurricane. You can handle the one while you are praying that the stress of the other doesn’t kill you.

The rain will come either way.

How we handle the storm is what separates us from falling flat on our face and walking in victory.

Right now you may be dealing with something that is worrying you. It could be a sickness in your family, it could be your finances, or it could be an issue at home. The possibilities seem endless.

When it rains it pours. Sometimes you get the feeling that a category 5 hurricanejustblew through through your life. Life has a funny way of sucker punching you in the face.

For example, Someone I am close to will be in the hospital for the next 30 days. While they were in the hospital I received some sobering news. It wasn’t something I wanted to hear. I didn’t need to hear it. It was a tough pill to swallow. The news was tough enough that I did not sleep well that night.

Yet, life must go on. It doesn’t stand still because we go through something.

Life doesn’t wait for when we are ready to deal with it.

Life happens and it will keep happening.

Don’t get me wrong. Life happens in some unsavory ways. Yet, life also unfolds in some incredible ways as well.

For example, the birth of a child. What an incredible miracle. You could think about a marriage. Marriages and births are about newness and renewal. It is about beauty and connection.

There are some incredible things happening in the world around us.

Maybe, just maybe, there is a balance in life between trial and triumph.

That those who have the proper tools can change any trial to a triumph. This person could change their misery into their ministry. They could change their test into a testimony.

I think you get the point.

Our trials don’t define us.

It is how we handle them that defines us.

When we handle it correctly we can gain victory!

Even though there are infinite possibilities for trials and tribulations one thing remains constant.

STRESS

Every situation produces an amount of stress. It is how we manage that stress that will determine how successful we will be at gaining victory over our trial.

I would love to tell you that everything works out for the best. In fact, I would love to tell you that you will sail through this life without incident.

Let me share with you some practical principals that will help you conquer your current trial.

STRATEGIES THAT NAVIGATE THROUGH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS

1. Don’t Overreact

Breathe!

I think the greatest problem that we have is that we react long before we respond.

In fact, many of us are caught in a cycle of reaction and never respond correctly to the situation.

To respond correctly we have to have a level head. We cannot overreact to the situation. To overreact puts us in a place of emotional chaos. The emotional chaos causes us to think unclearly. When we think unclearly we say all sorts of stupid things.

Initially, I was upset. I thought who is this guy? Why is he in front of me telling me everything that he thought was wrong? I didn’t understand his intentions. Dealing with insecurity at the time (this was several years back) I started to get offended. This guy who approaches me says he reads his bible every night but didn’t believe in going to school to learn about it.

I thought to myself, “Who does this guy think he is? I spend a lot of money and time going to Bible College. The average amount of time I spent on preparing a message was 10-15 hours. This guy is ridiculous.” I found myself getting all worked up.

I took a breath.

What I said,

“Sir, I appreciate your thoughts. I would appreciate it more if you would go back to the scriptures and study them in light of what you had just heard. As for now, we can agree to disagree.”

He looked at me dumbfounded. This told me he wasn’t looking to come to an agreement. He was looking for a debate. I didn’t give it to him. I smiled and walked off. You know what? I never saw him again.

On the other hand, I cannot say that I have always responded correctly.

If you are married you know that there are numerous opportunities to respond correctly. I remember a time when my wife and I were arguing. The argument wasn’t over anything important. Marital arguments rarely are over anything life changing. After a while of arguing I had enough. I said something stupid. It really hurt her. The entirety of the argument was me overreacting to something.

Had I taken a breath (or two) then I don’t think we would have argued.

Respond don’t react.

Overreaction only leads to hurt, pain. and poor choices.

2. Take in the WHOLE situation

If you follow step one then you can do step 2.

Take a moment to take the whole situation in. What I find is that when we overreact we are emotional to the point that we don’t see what is really going on. When we don’t have all the information we will make unwise decisions. The decisions we make are based on incomplete knowledge and understand of the situation. Thus, leading us to unwise decision-making.

Your goal is to twofold. First, you need a good picture of everything that is happening. Secondly, you need a good picture of your available resources.

When I know the big picture I can set a plan into motion.

Asking questions is the BEST way to figure out what is going on and then decide what the next step you should take.

3. Create the NEXT STEP

You can breathe and access the situation, but you HAVE TO have a plan.

You don’t need the entire plan. Just an end goal and a next step.

Because if I know where I am going then I can continually take logical steps to get there. There is no other way around it. You have to take a step. If you don’t take a step then you will be continually stuck in the same place.

Don’t be paralyzed by the analysis.

There comes a point when you stop thinking so much and start acting on it.

Easy next steps can be as simple as making phone calls to the right people. It could be posting a message to your friends and followers on Social Media.

Step 1 and 2 are critical to step 3. Just don’t get stuck in step 2. At some point you MUST move into action or nothing will ever change.

4. PRAY PRAY PRAY

As you know I am a man of faith. My relationship with Jesus has brought me through a lot of things. I cannot stress enough the power of prayer. There comes a time in your life when you have done everything you can do. At that moment you realize that God is your only solution.

You know how to save a lot of heartaches? You understand that God is our source. If we turn to him first we will see a difference in how we handle a situation. We are more at peace. There is a confidence in our decision-making process.

There is a power in prayer.

Lean on it.

There is no magic pill for our trials. Doing these things won’t magically end your trial or all trials. What it does is put you in a position to push through the trial and into victory.

My heart for you is to have the tool your need to gain VICTORY in your life!

NEXT STEPS

#1. I love it when people share their thoughts.

I am eager to hear how you have navigated through the chaos in your life. Comment below and let me know what you would add to this list! Also, I am looking forward to some stories over how you overcame your issue! I look forward to engaging with you!

#2. Would you consider sharing these tweetables?

[bctt tweet=”Our trials don’t define us. It is how we handle our trials is what defines us. #timetohandleit ” username=”Jim_burgoon”]
[bctt tweet=”Overreaction only leads to hurt, pain, and poor choices. #respondcorrectly ” username=”Jim_burgoon”]
[bctt tweet=”When I know the big picture I can set a plan into motion. #bigpicture ” username=”Jim_burgoon”]
[bctt tweet=”Asking questions is the BEST way to figure out what is going on. #makeaplan. ” username=”jim_burgoon”]
[bctt tweet=”Don’t be paralyzed by the analysis. There comes a point when you stop thinking and start acting. ” username=”jim_burgoon”]

#3. Would you be willing to subscribe to www.jimburgoon.org for some great content??

I don’t think I’ve handled the stress I’m under at the moment very well at all. I’ve just stopped talking to people in my family because they just keep looking at me all sympathetically, but don’t want to help. Which is such a shame as I’ve always helped them when life has thrown them a curve ball 🙁

Thank you for being so honest. It is very refreshing! Now that you know that you haven’t handled stress well what are you going to do next? Are you going to continue in what you know or try to forge a new direction? Let me know how I can help you through this!

These are all great tips! My favorite is to just remind myself that things are temporary. Things could change within the hour at the snap of my fingers. That definitely helps me get through the rough spots!

Such great advice! Need to save this for later! I know all too often when I get overwhelmed I just freeze. But this is a great, step-by-step game plan I can refer back to when I don’t know what to do! Thanks!

Thank you for your kind words! I think the reason we freeze is because we haven’t thought about what we would do in the situation. It is also because we haven’t reflected on the last time it happened. Why did you freeze? What was the cause? What would be different if you had to do it again? Start taking a look at the whys behind the whats and I think you will find yourself more assertive! I pray these tips help you for the years to come. Let me know how I can be of service.

They really do! What people don’t realize is that you WILL take a next step. The question is which one? When we learn to heal our hurts we find ourselves remaining calm in the face of stress. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

If it were me, and it used to be, I would ask a question. Why do I react like I do when I am faced with stress? How you answer that question will help you figure out what is going on in you. When you know that you can find healing. As you heal you will notice that you don’t overreact as you once did. I hope that helps! Let me know how I can serve you!

I liked the article until the point where you stated to ‘Pray,’ after that, I started loving this article! Our faith is our strongest weapon to fight with anything life! Faith in God, faith in ourselves… nothing is bigger than our faith and will. Life is all about ups and downs, it’s never easy for anyone.

That is when practicing what I shared has to be paramount in your life. If we can put the tips into practice on the small things over time it will help you through the big events in life. Let me know if I can help you in any way!

Yes Life doesn’t wait for when we are ready to deal with it.
Life happens and it will keep happening, and that is why we need to take good care of ourselves irrespective of the nature of stress. Thanks for sharing

I 100% agree with you. It is incredibly important to take care of ourselves. It is also very hard to do that. With time, patience, and practice we can build it into our lives. Like any habit, it must be cultivated and developed. My site is designed to help people take care of themselves. I pray the tools I put out help you! Thank you for joining the conversation.

I love this post. It’s actually stress-reducing just reading it. It’s so important to just take a step back and breathe when you feel like a situation is getting too much. Taking these steps one at a time is such a good way to feel calmer. It’s true that overreacting is so easily done, and so difficult to undo. Great post, thank you 🙂

If they are not workable and practical then they are not relevant. I truly believe that. There are so many sites out there that depict the “theory” of things, but I want to provide people with the hard fact that come straight from the trenches. Meaning, I have lived this stuff and it works! My heart is to help people create victories in their lives. Thank you so much for joining the conversation.

Thank you for your kind words! I have made it my life’s mission to give people practical applications and not just theory. Everything I write about I have personally experienced, tried, or have someone very close to me that has. 🙂 I want people to have victory in their life!

The part about not overreacting: I was just reading some tidbits of advice from a retiring leader of my organization. He talked about adjusting the temperature. What he means by this is sometimes someone will come to you with a problem and they will either be overreacting or not recognizing the seriousness of the issue. It’s his job as a leader to adjust the temperature (either cool it or heat it up). I like this metaphor for thinking about the way I react to stressors in my own life. It’s a good reflective question: do I adjust the temperature appropriately?

There was a leadership principal that was popularized by Tim Elmore. It is the Thermometer vs. Thermostat principal. I thermometer reflects the current temperature while a thermostat changes the current temperature. He encouraged us to be thermostats. Be people who always change the temperature in instead of just reflecting it. Your question is an excellent reflection question! Thank you for sharing.

Putting these principles into practice could save a lot of people from living in a state of stress. Having a plan has been the most helpful for me. Sometimes when I’m in a bad spot, the thing that makes me feel secure is when I’ve settled on a plan for moving forward.

I came across this post at the perfect time. I have been really stressed out lately with work and my social life, and I have been guilty of overreacting a lot. After reading this, I already feel better. Great post and thank you for the wise words!

Thank you for your kind words! Your response is the reason I write. To share practical tools to help people be victorious in their current situations. It blesses me to hear that these helped you! I will pray for you. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help 🙂

This is such an inspiring post. When I was younger, I was guilty of blowing my top when life got too stressful. Now I am older (and hopefully wiser), I stop, breathe, think and look at the problem from a different perspective. If I cannot find a solution on my own, I pray. Really pray. I say, “Lord, I know you are teaching me a lesson. Please take my hand and guide me that I may see the good in this desperate time.”

Great advice. I would also suggest that we allow ourselves to feel the emotion, whether that be anger or sadness or grief. We are human, and we shouldn’t beat ourselves up for being angry or sad, but as you mentioned, it’s what we do after that that counts.

I have had various situations occur in my life in recent years that have been quite stressful and finding the energy to do anything at times has been quite difficult. Recently I joined a gym and started working out with a friend, and having that daily routine has been a way for me to build up energy through exercise as well as through conversation.

Stop and breathe.. beautiful advice.
Humans, we are way too reactive for our own good aren’t we.
Such a quality to gain control of and like you suggest, the discipline of having a plan with the end goal in mind helps with this 🙂

Stress seems to be getting built up for more people today than ever before. Your approach to dealing with it in a positive and productive way is logical. Even for people of limited or no faith, following the preceding steps as you have outlined would seem to me to be great strategies for getting on top of stressful situations.

Thank you for your encouraging words! I have a great number of readers who don’t agree with the faith aspect of my blog. However, the way I write I believe (as you mentioned) many people can gain insight. As an old friend of mine once said, “In life, you have to learn to eat the meat and spit out the bones!” I think that applies to everything we do. I hope these tips help! Thank you for joining the conversation.

The pastor I listen to said one time not to worry or fret or stress over things, just to pray and give them to God. I have been really working hard at doing just that when things get so stressful I don’t think I can handle them. It helps so much.
Taking a deep breath helps too..

I have found that we have to do multiple things. Giving it over to God is the most important thing, but realize you may have to give that thing over a dozen times. When you give it over to God learn to take a breath. Center yourself on His promise. Then begin to walk forward. Thank you for sharing!

You are absolutely right we find ourselves in reaction. Happened to me last week, and when I took a deep breath, and then said a prayer “Jesus I trust in you and I give you this problem to help me find a solution.”

And the situation turned out better because I took time to stop, breathe, and pray.

Jim's mission in life is to help people taking their NEXT STEPS towards the life they truly desire. As a member of The John Maxwell Leadership Team, a military veteran, and a 15 year veteran of ministry Jim has the background and the ability to help you achieve your goals.