My Life, My Words, My reality!

November 30, 2011December 1, 2011

Are You Guilty of an Instant Relationship??

We all get that feeling with a new guy….that maybe this could be the guy that you can call yours syndrome lol. He’s good looking, smart, funny, adventurous and great to be around; you’ve only been dating for a few months and BOOM, you are already fast forwarding the process. You start asking that ominous question:

“So what are we?”

Rushing to change your relationship status on Facebook and already prepping for many pictures to be taken so your whole friends and haters can say,

“AHHH aint this chick happy….ohh and he fine too!”

SMH. It happens all too often and it once happened to me. I was dating a guy who had all the makings of being emotionally unavailable but I couldn’t resist his charm and everything else that appealed to me but I ended up meeting another guy who had the markings of a “great boyfriend”.

Appreciative, check. Funny, check. Educated, check. Good looking, check. Attentive, check. Respecting, check. We began talking and it seemed as if with every phone call and text I was becoming more infatuated with the idea of having a boyfriend than actually with him.

I started realizing that slowly but surely I lost all the reasons why I thought he was the one for me and started realizing that I liked the IDEA of a relationship.

Finally being honest with myself, things ended up rather badly. We stopped dating and the harsh reality that I had caused someone else pain due to my selfishness weighed heavy on my mind. But the weird thing about it was that I felt a bit happy that I had caused someone else pain. Misguided, yes…but it was a thrill that I don’t ever want to encounter or cause ever again.

Slowing down the process of dating is the best thing to do BUT there is a HUGE difference from slowing down to a complete halt or a slow and steady stall.