(RELAUNCHED)

How to Win the Heart of a FUTO Babe(According to their Campus residence)

*Ihiagwa and Umuchima babes*
On the first day, take her to Eismann or De Mentos, If it’s at night. Tell her better lies…like your father is a politician or you are the only son, or you are a G-boy. Be serious ooo. She will probably tell you her own lies too, so make sure you outperform her. On the second day, borrow your friend’s car. They like taking photos with seatbelts ehhh. Then pimp your room and seal the deal. If it lasts more than three days, she will drag you to Concorde or Owerri mall. You already know what that means. Keep it short and sharp.

*Hostel C and D Babes*
These ones like fries like their life depends on it. No need to bother much. 95% of them claim to be living at Abuja or Lagos, including those whose family house is at Owerri town. They like going off-campus like tomorrow no dey. So, tell her you stay alone at Ihiagwa or Obinze, they don’t like coming to Eziobodo like that. If that proves hard, borrow car from your friend and park.it in front of the hostel, shikinah!
Regularly, Take her to down to any bukka for FUTO market side, or buy a plate of rice and coke. That’s all.
If it’s at night, buy her and her roommate fries or sharwama at Eziobodo, don’t forget pure water (bag of purewater ooo). Don’t play more than one week here. These ones easily lose interest especially when they start noticing you are faking an accent. Lest I forget, they like 4-pointers, so tell her your CGPA dey reach ceiling. Aways sit down at that STACC hall, then invite her as evidence. And don’t be in a lower level.

*Eziobodo Babes*
These ones are always very tricky??? Maybe because they live in the most crowded zone. Your best bet will be to waka with her at night considering that she is also playing other niggas.
Get her mishai or sharwama or suya, very important. If not try Savoury foods in front of Facebook lodge. Fries can also do the trick.
Just tell her you stay alone, and that you have sumec generator, not Tiger o (Borrow if you don’t have). These ones like generator sound like die. Pimp your room to the highest level if want to get paid. And make sure you have Korean movies on your laptop. I said laptop, not television oooooo…laptop. Don’t ask why.

*NDDC hostel babes*
These ones are overgrown Secondary School babies. You have to be romantic, say sweet nothing and buy plenty gifts. Take her down to the canteen once a while, or buy her Eismann bread and fries regularly. You already have a nice road and environment to take a romantic walk with her. Download One or two of Ed Sherran’s songs, My brother…you don hammer. ? And they are very sensitive to words ooooo.