Well Cory I see your plan of not going out of your way to anger Harlan Ellison has worked quite well. That's an injoke by the way. Just a coupla of points: Harlan has already conceded the fight to find the 10 John Does, or at least that's my understanding of the story that appeared in the Science Fiction Chronicle, a story written by Allen Steele no less. So much for those leet hackers. I suppose he conceded because it was stuped and way too expensive to keep going after them. I guess it's like trying to arrest everyone who linked to that majic marker defeats Sony encryption story. I mean, that would be stupid, right? (How come a sense of dread fills me as I type that line...?)

Two: If you needed more evidence about Harlan's cluelessness go to his message board, which he has indefinitely cancelled because of rudeness (Don't ask.), and where he tells the folks to then spread the word about his newest "victory" against AOL where it turns out they weren't awarded attorney's fees. Ooooh what a stirring victory. Of course, if I was no longer allowed to post on the message board I might be a little less enthused about spreading the good word...You never know, people being what they are...

And what an overall sad display. You want to write a story with me Cory and/or Charlie? We'll call it "The Science Fiction Writer Who Feared the Future" or something like that...

My impression (having never encountered the man in person, for whatever that's worth) is that most of the heat he catches, both on and off the net, has far more to do with what he says than how he says it. If he were just telling people what they want to hear, I'd bet he could be as boorish, ad hominem and histronic as he pleased and most would either just dismiss it entirely or rally round him; take it from someone who's dealt with way too many ding-a-lings on the net and off. But because he's made a career of dissing Star Wars, Star Trek, and lots of other people's sacred cows he's on everyone's shit list.

As for his writing, well, I'd gladly take the worst of his over the best of damn near anyone else. He's certainly no sort of god, but just possibly a one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind, and it seems to me that the best way to remain on his good side is simply to behave as ethically as one can in one's life and at least try to act like one grew a minimal amount of common sense at some point. Don't ask for an extra autograph when there's 8000 people backed up behind you and he's been there signing with no bathroom breaks or anything for 6 hours straight, and for gods' sake don't sign him up for a couple million magazine subscriptions just because he hated the last Star Trek movie. (Duh.)

8

Dave Munger

05-27-2002

08:29 PM ET (US)

I heard Harlan tell this story at a sci-fi con maybe 15 years ago. Some high school kid had made a few prank phone calls to Harlan because of something disparaging Harlan had said about William Shatner. Harlan traced the kid down and paid him a visit. He bragged that, as a result of his visit, the kid's bones would always ache in cold, damp weather.

7

MCranium

05-27-2002

05:23 PM ET (US)

The transcript is actually really funny. I am assuming that is the actual "accordionguy". I'm so pathetic that I don't even read the links any more, just jump straight to the quicktopics. Stop me, before I post again...

6

Charlie Stross

05-27-2002

03:52 PM ET (US)

Weeeeeellll ....

About two weeks ago I got the ConJose panelist questionnaire and one of the questions on it was "is there anyone you DON'T want to be on a panel with?"

And I was feeling kinda guilty for entering "Harlan Ellison" until I went and took a look at his website and ran across the IRC transcript in this article.

Now I'm just relieved. If I was on a panel with somebody who behaved like this, the temptation to put salt on his back and see if he shrivelled up would be irresistable.

5

zangdesign

05-26-2002

11:32 PM ET (US)

So, the next question is - did anything useful come out of the panel, or did Harlan domina^H^H^H^H^H^Hwreck the whole thing? Inquiring minds want to know.

4

MCranium

05-26-2002

10:20 PM ET (US)

This is painfully obvious, but celebrity and money are just destructive. Everyone knows it, and everyone wants the needle in their vein anyway. Ellison. Blah. Everyone's always vying for love and attention. Sad little MooCow. If Cory's actually a fifth rate hack (and who cares either way?) then what does that make someone who heckles a fifth rate hack? sub-pathetic.

Harlan Ellison has always been a fatuous bore, saved only from obscurity by the remarkable quality of a small portion of his writing. That small portion is unbelievable to read and think about.

Like any celebrity, however, he has become more renowned for his actual celebrity instead of his work. Thus, he is widely quoted for no good reason, like Cindy Crawford.

Contrast Ellison with Bono or Michael J. Fox. Both of them repeatedly and humbly say, we're just celebrities, we don't have any special insight, but what we have is a bully pulpit. And we're going to scream about important issues, because we know they'll get press coverage and the kind of focus that would otherwise evade them.

Ellison thinks he's a god. Bono, with his selfless promotion of third-world debt relief, may do more for contemporary humanity than practically any other single individual of our time. Hard to believe!