OTOH, caregivers do sometimes snap... still not excused of course... but do we even know there was a roll in the house?

In any case, she no longer has to care for her terminally ill, disabled, long term boyfriend who is prone to demand rolls when she has made him a perfectly serviceable meal. Since it sounds like he does need care, someone else will be giving it, possibly an employee of the state, and see if he gets a roll then!

I don't think it excuses it, but when I read that he was disabled I couldn't help but think of how it can get for *both* sides of that equation.

I once had to have a bandage replaced regularly in a spot I couldn't reach and it quickly made me completely nuts to have to rely on another person. I imagine that same thing but a magnitude worse and I can sympathize with having to take what you're given when you *can't* go get what you want instead.

There are good reasons that either of them may have reached a point where they gave into frustration.

Doesn't excuse getting violent, and there are certainly cases where a dependent adult is outright abused and we don't know anything about this case to say either way. For ordinary, and not all that uncommon, situations of being a caregiver or having to be cared for... I don't think that people often realize how difficult either thing can be.