Why Relationships in College Are Hard AF

Let’s cut the bullsh*t and get real about college relationships for a minute.

We should be going on adventures together, motivating each other to be better, meeting the family and growing together as individuals.

Then why is it that every weekend, many of us find ourselves in a drunk screaming match with our significant other? How come we allow another human to dictate our emotions, our drive and ourselves in such a negative way? Shouldn’t they be the ones shielding us from that kind of energy?

Because the fact of the matter is that dating in college is f*cking hard, but we all want to try.

You find a person that you truly believe can be the one, and falling for someone is a sensation we all deserve to experience. But there are so many outside factors in this stage of our lives that collide with this sensation and make it damn near impossible to have a healthy relationship with anyone.

Here are five factors that make it hard AF to date in college. These lead to the ultimate trust issues, arguments and relationship-killers. If it was just you and your S.O. without these interfering, you’d both be filled with butterflies and rainbows. But this is reality in 2018, and if we don’t learn to manage these factors and communicate about them, then say hello to the single life.

Social Media

“Who is this girl always liking your tweets?” “Why did you snapchat this guy I don’t even know?” “Can you just get off your phone for five minutes please?” We are such a social media obsessed generation, and it’s honestly sad. Being this plugged in opens up temptations that can be hard to fight. If you can’t trust yourself or your partner on it, you should reevaluate your relationship. Get off your phone and focus on who you’re with. The paranoia isn’t worth it.

Party Culture

College likes to glorify being hammered, acting out and doing it all for a reaction from your peers. It’s not cool if you don’t go out every weekend to the bars or frat parties, but it’s also not cool to get so drunk that you end up cheating on who you’re with or not being able to control yourself. Besides social media, alcohol is next in line for being the biggest relationship killer. When you’re drunk, hurtful words are said, actions you can’t take back are made, and you wake up hungover and upset. At the end of the day, the partying won’t be there for you like your partner would be, so finding a balance that works for you both is key.

Different Goals / Different Graduations

Dating could be going swell until graduation comes… for one of you. The long distance this could bring tends to be detrimental. Sometimes our life goals don’t always match up, either. You could be working towards hitting the West Coast while the other may want to move Upstate. If you’re not willing to try long distance or move for them, maybe embracing the change and going separate ways is a better solution, rather than stressing over it constantly.

Time Management

“This week’s agenda: Two exams, a presentation, a club event, an advisor meeting, work this weekend, have to call mom eventually, might need to eat something, at least eight hours of sleep (HAHA!), oh yeah and hang out with bae.” We are so busy that we have to actually write out when to sleep and eat. College isn’t as structured as high school or a 9-5 career. You both probably start and end your days at different times. You may start to feel overwhelmed and frustrated when you try to balance it all. You may also end up taking it out on them.

Broke as Sh*t

In the midst of trying to find time to actually go on a date and spend some time together, money is also an issue. We only have what our parents allot to us, or what we make at our minimum wage job. And sometimes Netflix and Chill gets old real quick. You can get stuck in the same groove and get bored. Try to be creative and find ways to hang out that don’t cost money and focus on the quality time together.

If any of these outside factors are hurting your relationship, it’s time to reevaluate what you’re doing and find a solution. Is being on social media that much worth it? Are you proud of how drunk you got last night? How does your boyfriend/girlfriend feel? If you’re going to try and date in college, at least make it worth your time.

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Araya is a senior (sigh) multimedia journalism major and the Reflector's Online Engagement Editor. Her post-graduation dreams include hitting the west coast for a little while and working as a record label representative (maybe.. that's one of like, five options). As she tries to cope with the fact that she's graduating on time, you can find her spending her days in Sanford hall and her nights at Dingus. She tends to spend too much money on music festivals, drink too much coffee, and wait too long to do assignments. Follow her sarcastic life on Twitter or Instagram @rayajacqjack.