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TV Review: Game of Thrones 7 Episode 5: Eastwatch

You know what? I propose that there’d be a whole episode devoted to just Drogon flying, screeching, and dracarys-ing for a full one hour. I’d be riveted! These dragons are so fantastically rendered! With that said, episode 5 has a tad less of Drogon in it, and therefore compared to Episode 4: The Spoils of War, is a bit of a snooze. But Game of Thrones takes care of it’s viewers and so we still get plenty of shockers to go around.

Spoilers Ahead!

Dany’s speech and char-grilled Tarlys

It’s a tad confusing when Dany, in front of the captured Lannister men, says that she is not there to murder anyone. And then goes about saying that she will kill anyone who doesn’t bend the knee, and then makes a very concrete example by barbecuing the proud Tarlys. Is she more “Mad King” than “Breaker of Chains”?

Jon touches a dragon

Only Jon Snow can keep composure when touching a damned dragon. And isn’t he the only one to ever get this close? Aside from Dany herself? Does this mean the theories are true?

A golden bun in the golden oven

So after all of the Lannister kiddies go about getting killed in most horrific of ways, we will apparently get a new golden-haired moppet! But the thing is, Cersei will have an even stronger grip on Jaime, possibly using this baby to make him do things he doesn’t approve of. But then again, he has already been doing her bidding even sans the baby. So yep, baby won’t change anything! Except make Cersei hormonal. Okay, I take that back. A hormonal Cersei might be worse than three dragons combined.

The Stark Sisters Rivalry

Now that the Stark sisters have reunited it feels as if they are divided more than ever. It doesn’t make sense. One would think that being through hell and back would make then stick together. Or at least be more understanding and forgiving of each other. I propose they make Lyanna Mormont an honorary Stark sister so that she could sort them out. And I guess, It doesn’t help that Littlefinger is sticking his little fingers into things just to drive a wedge between the sisters. But for sure Arya is as smart as he is, maybe even smarter, she’s a faceless man for chrissakes. So I am curious as to how this cat and mouse game of theirs will play out.

Jorah is back biatches!

The Stark reunion was great, but that hug between Ser Jorah and Dany is pretty awesome! Although I feel like he distrusts Jon. And him coming to the grab-a-white- walker mission is so he can keep a close eye on Jon more than anything else. So this will be interesting to watch.

Jaime and Tyrion reunion

Not the reunion we were hoping for, but at least no one got chopped in half. But boy, the tension in that cave was pretty powerful. I do wonder though why Bronn keeps on doing very un-Bronn things. Like risking his ass to do things for the Lannister boys. It seems too great a risk even for the promise of gold. I mean if he’s dead he can no longer enjoy his castles and gold. So why risk his darned neck for these lions?

Gendry who?

Most of us have forgotten about him. But I haven’t! Gendry is back biatches! He seems to have the bravado and the foolhardiness of dear old daddy (even his weapon of choice). I am not entirely sure about his role in the game. But as of the moment it seems like he is just around to be Jon’s new bestie. I guess The Onion Knight isn’t cutting it. Perhaps he’s more like the crusty uncle than a solid bro. So they’re like going to be the new Robert and Ned. Color me excited.

The Magnificent 7…or more like the Stupid-Ass 7

Yes, I have very little confidence in this plan. 7 people against a bazillion White Walkers and Wights in the dead of Winter? But sure, Jon Snow got stabbed in the heart and lived to tell the tale. The Hound too seems to have nine lives. And Beric Dondarrion literally has nine lives, or perhaps even more. And maybe the red god will unleash his dracarys? But here’s the deal, will Cersei even listen after they went through all that trouble? When has she ever listened to anything? Even with concrete proof staring her in the face? BUT on one hand, Dany might. So it won’t be a total loss. That is, if they don’t freeze to death or get all turned into wights.

Gilly and Sam’s conversation

Does this mean the theories are indeed true?! This is about as specific as I will get!

And the big woman?

So we now know that the only thing that will make Jon Snow crack a smile is Tormund being a total dawg. I hope a Brienne and Tormund second meet cute is in the future. And Tyrion got it wrong. When it comes to glowering, no one does it like Brienne of Tarth!