Our dog actually loved riding on top of the car, says Ann Romney

In case you're still concerned about the well-being of Mitt Romney's notoriously mistreated Irish setter Seamus, worry not! Mitt has cleared the whole thing up for us, explaining that the li'l guy actually loved riding at high speeds in an open-air container on top of the family car. And, in spite of recent attacks on his wife, the presumptive Republican nominee called the dog-related accusations the hardest "so far" of his campaign.

Countering widely reported stories of the infamous 1983 Romney road trip, Ann Romney backed up her husband, claiming in a new interview that the dog didn't develop diarrhea out of sheer terror, but that, "Once, he ate the turkey on the counter. I mean, he had the runs." Otherwise, "The dog loved it," she said. "He would see that crate and, you know, he would, like, go crazy because he was going with us on vacation. It was to me a kinder thing to bring him along than to leave him in the kennel for two weeks."

She also likened the experience to riding a motorcycle or roller coaster — two common dog activities — and called Seamus' carrier "an enclosed kennel, not in the open air." While it's high time the Romneys took some time to fully address SeamusGate, this somehow doesn't feel especially convincing, given that their only evidence is that the dog would "go crazy" when it came time to travel. Will this poor dog ever truly know justice?