Who Did I Punch? 20 Tavern Brawlers for 13th Age

I started my Blackmarch13th Age campaign this past weekend. It’s sort of like True Grit with swords and magic, and I decided to get the players into the frontier spirit by kicking it off with a good, old-fashioned tavern brawl.

I treated the other brawlers as low-hp mooks, so the PCs could emerge as epic bar fighters capable of knocking out three men with a single punch. A couple of the brawlers got colorful physical descriptions, and one or two lines of dialogue before they hit the floor. The players responded so well that they’ll be back later: maybe looking for revenge, maybe looking for help.

I created a list of 20 ready made tavern brawlers for use in future punch-ups. Use them freely in your game, and I hope you’ll add your own in the comments.

You just punched a(n)…

Icon in disguise (to see which one it is, have the players make icon relationship rolls; if none succeed, choose randomly from the icons that weren’t part of the relationship check; if more than one success is rolled, you have the fun of deciding why those icons are traveling incognito together…)

Scarred half-orc wearing a tunic with the symbol of the Three on it

Tipsy gnome swinging a turkey leg like a club

Dark elf with a crow perched on his/her shoulder, which flies squawking up into the rafters

Ranger wearing the unit patch of the 75th Regiment

Underboss of the local thieves’ guild

Druid wearing a crown of hissing, snapping carnivorous plants

Messenger for the Archmage carrying a leather courier pouch, which goes skidding across the floor and under a table

Wizard who drops a glass bottle to the floor; it shatters and a vile little winged homunculus with nasty sharp teeth flutters out, cackling with glee

Dwarf miner, and all of his/her friends are now turning their attention to you

Stone golem; you take 1d4 damage from hitting a living rock, you big dummy

Old man playing a lively reel on a fiddle

Ghost of a deceased tavern patron who died while drunk, and drunk he/she remains

Young man in a broad-brimmed hat and improbable mustache; they fall away to reveal it’s actually a young woman

Zombie; your fist is now covered in foul-smelling zombie goo

Bastard child of the Emperor; you literally can’t take a swing around here without hitting one