About Me

I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

SUNDAY #3045

Kim Jong Un:My latest missile blew up on the launch pad.But it exploded so fast the Americans couldn't tell what type it was.I'm not telling.Checkmate.

===Emma Morano, the last surviving person born in the 1800s, passed away.

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Type in "actor" and count how many men come up before one single women. Holy shit!

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE LIGHT

And then there's this...

I've often thought about printing out pages of one of my novels, then painting on them. But that kind of creativity is far behind me now.

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My wife got a detachable shower head and I haven't seen her in three days. She keeps assuring me she's okay, but she sounds really, really tired.

TO ERR IS HUMAN

Governor of Ala-fucking-bama. I have long preached that politicians are no more religious than the average citizen. They spout the "God bless America" bullshit because they know their voters. I would vote for a Baptist preacher I agreed with his views on issues that were important to me, but a Christian will never vote for a man who said he was godless.

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Example of mechanical resonance

Simple rules for towing.

1. Never have more weight at the rear than the front.

2. The only way to escape this is to speed up and pull the trailer under control.

Or just keep the weight on the tongue.

Kind of hard to do when you are pulling an over-powered bass boat, though.===

Just another reason I don't do shit like this...

Jesus Fucking Christ, y'all!

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I never got the whole 1 million can't be wrong argument, history is filled with millions of people being wrong.

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I once fell asleep making my bed.

PEOPLE BEING...STRANGE

I'm not sure why, but I find this image disturbing.

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General Studies Major. Enough said.

Remember what I said about athletic scholarships in in colleges? For every jock to not graduate, the school loses a scholarship for the next year.

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My wife's favorite cookbook is a takeout menu.

THINGS YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAY

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This was carved out of one log.

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Said to be from Walt Disney World...

If they just turn it around for a few years, they could make a Mickey Mouse hole.===

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Landslide in India captured by construction crew.

They stood calmly watching that for a lot longer than I would have.

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I didn't go to the gym today, but the cashier's name at Krispy Kreme was Jim, so same thing.

The WWII were the best...

And then there were these...

How topical.

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Feeling blue? Think of all the billions of titties you haven't seen.

THE GOOD NEWS

The Colorado Family Planning Initiative spent comparatively small sums making IUDs and other long-term birth control methods (such as implants and injections) available to women, through a "no wrong door" approach that let women start their journey through a variety of agencies, and included after-school and other counseling services, and also provided birth control to women on maternity wards before they went home with their babies.

The results were amazing: teen births and abortions dropped by nearly 50%, and the birth-rate among teens who were already mothers fell by 58%; there were also dramatic reductions in high-risk births.

For ever dollar spent on the initiative, the state saved $5.85 over the next three years in reduced family benefits and assistance payments.

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A man I know who grows marijuana has a friend who works at the zoo. He persuaded that friend to bring him all the lion dung he could. He fertilizes his "crop" with the lion dong to keep the deer from eating it.

I call that pure genius.

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I'm the kind of patient who hardly ever gets a smiley sticker on my ID bracelet.

STAR TREK

Engage.

There's fixing to be a blood bath...

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I am not so much anti-social as I am really pro-me.

THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT YESTERDAY

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I love that one.

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Me: Is it weird to talk to yourself?

Me: No.

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74% of American children think a chocolate bunny should be eaten ears first.

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Would you please take 4 minutes to watch this.

I don't claim to be that noble, but I do consider myself open to ideas that contradict my views.