Male and Female Perspectives on Zooey Deschanel’s New Girl: Threesomes!

Another February Tuesday, another new New Girl. Your hardy recappers remained glued to their screens through forced conflict and unwholesome sexual situations, abiding in their in their fervent anticipation of Zooey Deschanel’s upcomingSaturday Night Liveappearance.

After a parking lot confrontation with a gun-wielding driver and an encounter with their if-Gary-Busey-took-Thorazine-it-might-go-something-like-this building superintendent, open-hearted Jess and cynical Nick have an argument. “You always see the worst in people,” Jess says. “Yeah,” Nick responds, “because people are the worst.”Bruce: This was in theory a mildly amusing update on one of those classic potted sitcom conflicts, like Ricky and Lucy arguing over which is more demanding, running a nightclub or being a housewife, or Hogan and Colonel Klink debating racial theories. In this case, however, instead of making a crazy bet or switching roles, Jess and Nick ended up goading each other into almost having a threesome with the creepy super, Remy—a scene I admired for its willingness to wallow in the comedy of unease, but ultimately found more unpleasant than funny. One, Jess and Nick were, bottom line, manipulating a mentally ill man. And two, gross.

Which isn’t to say I’m against the use of a potential threesome as a comic device. A potential threesome with Nick’s girlfriend Julia could have been amusing and possibly provocative because of the rivalry between Jess and Julia, and also, Julia is hot. Or, a threesome with Schmidt would also have been amusing because Max Greenfield, who plays Schmidt, is proving himself a truly wonderful comic actor. It should probably be his show anyway. But a threesome with Gary Busey on Thorazine is an idea that should have been left at the writer’s table.

On a more general note, I think the seemingly prevalent cultural notion (at least among men, should we conform to stereotype) that threesomes are some kind of erotic nirvana is way oversold. I’m not speaking from experience—just a hunch that the choreography involved might be more taxing, or silly, than sexy. Plus you’d have to make twice the conversation.

Juli: The theme of this not-very-good episode of New Girl was signals, specifically the mysterious quality thereof: Jess and Nick argue about the source of Remy’s newfound helpfulness; Schmidt can’t tell if his attractive boss is telling him to set up a call from Tokyo or set up a call from Tokyo; and off-camera, the show’s writers apparently debated whether Winston’s being in the credits necessitates him having his own plotline. By the end of the episode, each ambiguity would be resolved: Remy was interested in Jess; Schmidt’s boss was interested in Schmidt; and the writers are not interested in Winston.

Bruce, I, too, hated the threesome scene save for two details: one, the score was Rusted Root’s “Send Me on My Way,” favored song of people one should not sleep with under any circumstances, and two, Nick and Jess’s arguing was flirty, sexually charged, and realistic. I don’t even care that the will-they-or-won’t-they setup is tired and predictable, I am genuinely curious to find out if they will or will not.

I also agree that I’m not sure what type of person is interested in a threesome. What about it is appealing? And oh my God, who has that many phone chargers?! You know, for afterwards, when everyone goes to bed and wants to plug in their phones.

In a flashback, we learn the source of Jess’s optimistic view of human nature. As a little girl, she is approached by a skeevy man driving a truck who asks, “Do you like candy, little girl?” When, she says yes, he responds, “Great! Because my Nana made too much!” The truck opens and out comes his kindly-looking nana with a big tray of candy.

Bruce: This might have been the funniest gag in the entire history of New Girl, and I say that as a parent who should have been appalled.

Juli: Yes! This was so wonderful. I’m also glad that young Jess is no longer played by a chubby actress, as adult Jess is very attractive and that didn’t make sense.
Bruce: I was discussing this episode with another colleague here at Vanity Fair—not at the water cooler or trying on shoes in the fashion closet—and she said this candy bit reminded her of Family Guy, which I found personally hurtful. I don’t have anything more to say about the episode, which was not one of the best. But the commercials—

Juli: Wait, wait! I’m not quite finished with New Girl. CeCe is going to a party on Greg Kinnear’s boat, which is named Neptune’s Folly?! I loved this so much. Now back to commercials.

Bruce: I was intrigued by the ad for The Vow, a chick flick whose marketers seem to be trying to attract male audiences by including two separate shots of Rachel McAdams in her underwear—which just might work. But I don’t get the appeal of Channing Tatum. Okay, abs. That I understand. But otherwise he looks like an even more Neanderthal version of Kris Humphries. Juli, am I wrong?

And what about that V-8 campaign with Jackie Chan, where everytime he shows up there’s a loud gong sound? Is this an ironic, culturally saavy reference to Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles, or is it just, well, racist?