Virtually raise your hand if you’ve ever received an advance from a man you didn’t know or had never met in your Facebook message inbox or on any form of social media.

I can’t see how many hands were raised of course, but I’d assume every woman woman who came across this post has dealt with this.

Just today I read a story about young Chicago rapper Chief Keef trying to come on to Nicki Minaj through Twitter. He’s 17, and she is 30. Aaliyah once said that “Age Ain’t Nothin’ But A Number,” but when you act your age or less than, as in the case of the young man, it’s definitely more than a number. He started off by randomly telling her to “Drop Da Dead Dinner.” Probably not expecting a real response, she took the time out of her day to ask him to clarify his statements (“Come Again?”), and he did, in a very direct way: “Meanin F**k Yo Man He Aint S**t.”

As the interaction continues, things go downhill and become awkward very fast. Minaj keeps her words very short (or nonexistent) while he continues to try and get her to be less horrified and more flattered (he claims he’s in love with the Barbie). When he doesn’t get the reaction he’s looking for he tells her to “StopPlayin.” And eventually she randomly says “TAP OUT” and in response, he gets crude: “TAP OUT Million Dollar Pu**y?”

And cut. This very uncomfortable-to-watch interaction is one I’ve seen and heard about. During my college years I would watch as my notification box would turn red to let me know a complete stranger had something to say to me after seeing a photo of me and my friends at the beach. “Wat up.”

I had heard similar stories from friends, but I had the luck of not having to get cursed out or made to feel absolutely uncomfortable by a man who really thought we were going to make a love (or better yet, booty) connection over the Internet. Unfortunately, my niece didn’t have such luck, as I watched a man who decided to follow her on Instagram act in a manner that would make someone like Chief Keef proud.

While getting ready for bed, I took a quick glance to be nosy at what folks were doing on Instagram last night. Out of all the people I saw, my niece had posted of a picture of herself in her #OTD (aka, outfit of the day), which was a cropped shirt she cut, blue jeans, Jordans and a beanie, trying to toot her butt out a little bit. I did a post not too long ago about my niece and her Instagram habits damn near giving me a heart attack on a daily basis, but this one wasn’t so bad. As for the comments, I noticed a friend or two saying she looked cute, and then I noticed a guy who said the following: “Little booty but cute.”

Thinking nothing of it (and probably realizing that yes, she does have a little booty despite her best efforts), my niece responded with no shade, saying “lol thanks,” and tagging his Instagram account. Unfortunately for her, responding at all was taken as my niece saying she was interested in him. She wasn’t.

He proceeded to publicly post his phone number with the acronym FWM (aka, “f**k with me”), and when she didn’t respond to him, he started to spazz out in a series of posts that can only be described as a hot a** mess:

“…So you don’t want to FWM?”

“HELLO? You not gonna FWM?”

“Well F**K You Too Wit Yo LIL Booty A**”

Clearly this man had no kind of sense, and I realized that later when I clicked on his Instagram name and saw that a majority of his photos were selfies that included him smoking weed, him showing off new shoes, with money spread on a bed (approximately $39 dollars–$19 of them in single one dollar bills) next to Swisher Sweets and a whole lot of captions for pics that weren’t spelled in English: “On my real ni**a shyt.”As I refreshed the page and got ready to say something crazy that I can’t repeat on here (don’t mess with my family now…), I saw that my niece handled it well. She didn’t respond, but just deleted his comments and removed him from her list of followers. Luckily she had more sense than me at that moment.

When I think of pictures of Nicki Minaj squatting near a pool with a thong on, or my niece trying to attract attention sticking her butt out in a photo (or most of her photos that is), one might say that it’s when you seek out less than positive attention like that, that you get a less than positive, if not ratchet reaction from men, young and old, like this. However, I’ve never understood why when some individuals don’t get the response they want, they have to be ugly or inappropriate to save face. As Mick Jagger once sang, you can’t always get what you want, and when a woman doesn’t curse you out or come at you uber negative when she’s not interested, as in the case of my niece and Minaj, it’s best to just keep it moving. Facebook, Instagram and Twitter aren’t a substitute for Match.com and/or meeting a new booty call, so those who try the easy route of macking online are going to have to one day learn the very normal art of making conversation and making connections in person, in a polite manner, if they want to be taken seriously. Until then, miss us with the drive-by “FWM” “Drop Da Dead Dinner” “U Cute” and Wat Ups. Thanks but no thanks.

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN

MsTwix

Damn, this happened yesterday to me on a social site (POF, I know, I know lol). Dude came at me nice enough, but I politely declined his invite to hit him up. He looked like a gremlin no lie, but I said “thanks for the compliment, sorry sweetie I’m not interested”. Then I was told how bitter & self hating I was for not getting to know him and judging him on his pics, blah blah blah. So because I am not attracted to your aesthetically belligerent a$$, I’m self-hating now? Miss me with that son…BYE! I had to come back and tell him I had the right to not be attracted to
him and we all experience rejection and to keep it moving. I also told
him he needed a hug…These dudes get salty because they are hitting on women all day with no results. #kanyeshrug

hollyw

OMG this article was right on time! I was going to say that this clearly isn’t exclusive to social media, b/c this is just a net-based playout of real life, where dudes try to holler on the street, and when you don’t respond, or worse, respond negatively, you get the:

“…well F*** you den, B****!!!”

…to which, at this point in ya life, you just gotta chuckle a little at that immature comeback. However, as I was conducting a therapy session w/ a 12yr old (believe it or not) today on expressing negative emotions positively, I couldn’t help but think back to the seconds before I met her in front of my office, where a man who’d made crude comments passing me, then circled BACK to continue the onslaught…while normally, I ignore such behavior, the fact that my client was about to witness some ish just heightened by attack mode, and all I could think was thank goodness he’d kept his mouth shut when he saw her, b/c if he had uttered a word, the hood woulda been up and aaall in that, then I would’ve had to apologize to my client and cancelled the session =|

http://www.facebook.com/louise.marie.752487 Louise Marie

Simliar situation happened to me a few years ago. I live in the uk and the guy was a new yorker I politely rebuffed his advances explaining that I was flattered but not interested and the distance between us would be an obstacle anyhow. He responded by calling me every name under the sun told me that i was pretty but “dumb as hell” and how “i will end up with a bunch of kids with a bunch of different baby daddies”. He also informed me that I was “ignorant” for not getting to know him and a whole heap of other ish that i dont care to remember! This guy didnt know me from Adam….or Eve for that matter yet he cussed me out like u wouldnt believe! He then proceeded to block me so that I couldnt respond! What a charming individual smh!

chanela

please proceeed to prank call that fool’s number!! LOL

sabrina

That second to last paragraph had me in tears!!!

WhoMe

These social media sites are the devil! I keep my FB acct/pics private because there are too many creeps out there. I will NOT create a twitter or instgram acct. Now I feel like deactivating my FB.

Sagittarius81

Try telling a man on FB that you’re happily married, especially when you have a pic of you and your husband on your profile pic. He acts all apes#it and calls you a b- and tells you you’re ugly, um….was I a b–and ugly 15 minutes ago when you sent a friend request and a message saying you wanna get to know me after I made a comment on the ABC News status?