Being A Christian Woman In 2018

I’m gonna talk about something that’s been on my mind for a little bit now; Being a Christian woman in 2018. I feel like there is a stigma attached to the term Christian and that some people have this misconception that in order to be a Christian woman/wife/mother today you have to be this boring, ho-hum, never do anything fun kind of person. That’s so far from the truth! Being a modern Christian woman is the total opposite of boring, she’s confident in who God made her to be and in her abilities. It’s freeing to follow Jesus and to be able to bring others to Him!

Do I go out and have a few drinks with my girlfriends and cut loose from time to time? Yes! Do I (try to) wear the trending clothes and look put together even though I’m a mom and Christian woman? Yes, of course, but I’m going to do so in a modest way. One of the things I’ve started to change is who I look up to. I used to idolize celebrities for their beauty and talent and wonder why I couldn’t be like them and would begin to get mad at myself because I didn’t look like that or sound like that or live like that. Why was I the one at the short end of the stick? Something I’ve done is to look up to Godly women, even those in my own community and church. That has helped me so much with helping me define what I should actually be focusing on, none of which was what I used to think about!

There’s a verse in the Bible, Proverbs 31:10-31, which basically, in my opinion, is speaking about the perfect woman and wife. The verse is long but here it is:

10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

So what is this even saying and how am I supposed to apply this to my life in 2018? Those were the two big questions I had when I started researching on Christian women and wives and what’s expected and what, for me, would be the best way to strive to live. Notice that I said strive to live, because I know I’m not perfect, I’m going to make mistakes, I’m going to fall on my face from time to time. Those are just the facts. No one is perfect, other than Jesus. So let’s break it down a little bit…

10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

I’ve done a lot of research and talked to several people and here is how I have come to interpret this message… To begin with, as a wife I’m supposed to live my life in a way that allows my husband to trust me. This is pretty simple even though the actual application can be hard for sometimes. For me this means, of course, I don’t cheat on my husband, physically or emotionally. I need to be able to express my love for him and my faithfulness to him. Everyone’s love language is different and I had to learn how to do those things because it doesn’t come naturally to me!

13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

Something I struggle with is time management. When I have my husband at home on his days off, I’m great at it because I’m pretty much able to get away and work or do whatever I need to anytime. When it’s just me and the kiddos, that’s a different story. When the verse speaks about wool and flax, to be honest, I was like-what in the world is this saying!? What I’ve gathered is to basically, as a wife, work hard at what you do and learn to control your money, maybe even start a budget for your family. Spend money on what’s important.

15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

Next the verse speaks about how hard working the Proverbs 31 woman is. She doesn’t sleep in every morning, she cooks for her family everyday and makes sure they have what they need. Simple application for 2018; strive to prepare 3 dinners for your family per week and add more as you can. I know all too well that life with a family and kids can be crazy, schedules are all over the place and sometimes we just HAVE to eat on the go. Again, we’re not trying to be perfect here, just better than what we are right now, that’s my scenario anyway!

17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

This one is something I KNOW I need to work on so so much and I hate admitting that but it’s true. I need to spend more one on one time with Jesus, reading the Bible, researching and talking to people I trust about ways I can apply what was said so many years ago to my own life now. I feel like this verse, from what Ive been told, can go towards the physical part of our strength as well. Again, I need to start exercising more and becoming a healthier person, not necessarily a super fit, perfect sized person, but just healthier so I can carry out all the tasks set in front of me from God!

18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

This part of the verse is a little challenging for me as I’m so so used to just going out and purchasing everything we need or want and I never make things. I look at this part of the verse and apply it towards meals again, and towards the time I spend with my kiddos. The more time and effort I put into my children, the more value they’re going to feel, in my opinion.

20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

This is one of the simplest parts of this verse to me. Help those in need. There are so many ways to help people who are in need, especially once you’re connected to a church, and it’s amazingly gratifying to be able to do so!

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

To me this is saying that the Proverbs 31 woman thinks ahead and prepares for the changing seasons. She does this well, too, and invests her money in clothing and pieces that will last. It’s so hard these days, for me at least, to be content with what I have now. I’m always seeing posts on social media about the new cool thing, or the latest awesome, must-have sweater or boots that I want it all. I have the means to get whatever I want so why not do it? Well, from what I’m learning through my follower of Jesus journey (which began less than a year ago) is that’s not the Christian way and I’m trying my hardest to change the way I think about things like that. Easier said than done, I know!

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

Luckily for me, I do have a husband who isn’t known for immoral things he’s done, he has a respected career which he has worked hard at for over 11 years, and he carries himself in a way that other people reach out to him for guidance. This is a huge deal, you guys! If you’re single that this part of the verse as something to look for in a spouse…seek this out!

24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

For me this part of the verse goes back to speaking about how this woman, who I’m striving to be more like, is talented and she’s not afraid to show off her skill. If you can sew or make crafty things, sell them! If you can sing, show it! Let other people be inspired by what you can do knowing that you’re doing it for Him.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

This is talking about how the Proverbs 31 woman is strong and knows her value because of her identity as His daughter! This is so special to me because when I was at my lowest I felt no worth. I felt like I had nothing to offer but I was so wrong. So much has changed for me in the past 10 months and it’s not because of me, its because of Him and all the amazing things He can do if you open your heart to Him. “She can laugh at the days to come” to me means that she’s not worried about tomorrow because she has faith in the Lord that He will provide. There is so so sooooo much hope in that tiny little snippet and I try my best to hold on to that!

26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

This one is simple; make your words count and mean them when you say something!

27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

To me this part of the verse is saying to not be lazy, work hard t=for yourself and for your family. In regards to me as a mama, I have to remember that every single day isn’t going to be perfect and that it’s okay to fall as a parents because it’s inevitable that we all will and have.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

This one is heavy for me because this Proverbs 31 woman surpasses every other woman. Think about that…every other woman! These are some big shoes to try to fill but she is someone to look up to for inspiration not imitation. Be the kind of person people love and respect, the kind of wife your husband wants to talk about, the kind of mom your kids are proud to have.

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Someone explained this part of the verse to me like this; “It’s okay to work on your outward appearance but please know that all of that will eventually go away and what you’re left with will be your relationship with God, your inner beauty and that will last forever.” Basically, of course it’s good to work on your outward self but focus more on the inside!

31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

The Proverbs 31 woman is satisfied with what she has made and what God has given her so simply try to be content. Content with the talents you’ve been given and know that fame and notoriety aren’t what will really fill you up!

I’ve made it a goal to memorize this passage but until then I try to read it when I’m feeling confused or when something comes up and I need to be reminded that I’m never going to be the Proverbs 31 woman, but I can try to be as much like her as possible while still living as a modern Christian woman in 2018.