How Strong Is Your Marriage? Take the Quiz.

On a regular basis, I will talk to a husband and wife separately about their marriage. The discussion is often initiated by one of them who feels as though the relationship is in trouble. Normally it’s the wife who, for some time, has felt overlooked, used and undervalued. What began as a meaningful connection has become more like a business deal…one where she is getting very little return on her investment. She sees trouble.

In response to the conversation with the wife, I’ll strike up a conversation with the husband. Inquiring about their marriage, he will respond that things are good. He might recognize a few imperfections, but overall he believes their marriage to be in a good spot.

How can two people have such radically different views of a relationship?

Sadly there is not a definitive test to evaluate the health of a marriage. Human relationships often are too complicated for a simple test.

While there is no definitive diagnostic tool, there are some simple questions a couple can ask to see if they are headed in the right direction. The questions won’t tell the whole story, but it can be a discussion starter for strengths and weaknesses in the relationship.

With that in mind, I want to introduce you to a simple 10 question quiz below to help you evaluate the strength of your marriage. Getting 10 out of 10 correct doesn’t guarantee your relationship is the best it’s ever been, but it would show you have some things right. Getting less than 10 for 10 can reveal areas of improvement and show places where you need to listen, learn, and grow.

Before you take the test:

1. Do not discuss the test before taking it.

2. Share this quiz on Facebook and other social media channels to assist others in their relationships.

3. Take the test with an open mind and honest answers. Lying about something will not help your relationship.

No quiz is perfect and this one should not be seen as the ultimate description of your relationship. Yet these 10 questions can be very telling. A differing answer to even one question can provide a red flag to get your attention and greatly improve your marriage.

I didn’t do very well on the test. I’m guessing my husband would get a better score if he were to take it. We have been in that same situation–in the pastor’s office for counseling because I felt like we were in trouble, but he wasn’t bothered by anything. I don’t think my pastor took me very seriously, because we both said we rarely argue. So we must not be in trouble right? I was advised to get a job, have a baby, spend more time with friends, pretty much all things that would take up my time and distract me from focusing on any marital dissatisfaction.

The question… “Do you feel there is an aspect of you or your spouse’s life which you do not share?” is a bit vague, and should not subtract any points from the overall score for replying “yes” to. I said yes to this question because my wife likes sports and I do not – no big deal, and it does not mean that our marriage needs a “tune up”. It’s extremely healthy for spouses to have distinct and separate “aspects” from one another. Perhaps the question should be reworded. Something like… “Do you feel there is an important aspect of you or your spouse’s life which you do not share; one that may cause trouble in your relationship?”. It’s just a suggestion.