Why does my daughter have a love-hate relationship with me?

Q:My 12-year-old daughter loves me a lot, but some times she hates me. Why is it so? I have two daughters but we love both of them equally. How can I make my daughter always happy or how do I know what is in her mind?

A:Hate is a very strong word. Perhaps the daughter resents the authority you have over her and what she may consider your arbitrary manner in expressing your power over her. She is in her early adolescence. Children at this stage are finding their own identity. They complain that they are treated as children sometimes and as adults at other times. They wish to have more autonomy. You could let her make some decisions and consult her on others, which affect the whole family. Discussions help, as long as each member of the family is listened to with attention and there is mutual respect. Have a sense of humour and try not to spend all your time trying to improve her. Let her tell you voluntarily, what she is thinking. Give her the right to have some thoughts that she need not share with anyone. But be available for her and be sensitive to her moods.