:~: Wednesday, May 11, 2005 :~:

Big Black Moments

Are. Emotionally. Draining.

I feel like I've been through the wringer. Better yet, I feel like I just broke up with my husband, lost my best friend, was told I have 30 days to live, and oh yeah, my dog was hit by a car. That's what the big black moment is to me today.

For Ryan and Kate in Wait For Me, it goes like this:

She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. "I don’t know what to believe anymore."

Kneeling in front of her, he placed trembling hands on her thighs. Anguish clawed at his heart. "Believe in me. Believe in us. I love you. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you."

"Don’t you get it, Ryan?" she whispered. "You did hurt me. In the worst possible way." When she dropped her hands, tortured emotions brewed in the depths of her emerald green eyes. "You made me fall in love with you, then you took away the very trust that love was built on. How am I ever supposed to believe anything you say?"

A heavy weight pressed down on his chest. The air clogged in his throat. She loved him. Her revelation was exactly what he’d wanted to hear since the day she walked back into his life, but never in a thousand years did he expect her to say it wasn’t enough.

On a breath, she pushed his hands aside and rose.Fear and heartache clawed at his soul. She was backing away. He was going to lose her if he didn’t do something to make this right. Rising, he fought back the tears stinging his eyes. "Katie, please."

Her head shook, and she wiped at her cheeks. "I can’t. I don’t even know you."

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "You do know me. You know everything that matters." She turned for the door. His voice hitched. "Please. I can’t lose you a second time."

Her feet paused on the deck, and her head turned, but her eyes never met his. "Don’t you understand, Ryan? You already did."