I Killed My Ovaries – Bloody Hell, Now What?

I Killed My Ovaries – Bloody Hell, Now What?

Two years ago, at the age of 38 I was diagnosed with POF. And by that I don’t mean the POF, (Plenty Of Fish) – leading online dating service, but more likely the Premature Ovarian Failure (called interchangeably premature menopause), which hit me like a piece of debris coming straight from the sky.

Menopausal at 38? Are you f*cking kidding me?! – I looked at my gynecologist, questioning the unlikely results of my hormonal chart (which in fact showed that I’ve been way advanced into post menopause, putting my hormones in the range of zero).

Refusing to accept the brutal diagnosis, for two years I’ve been luring myself that it was just a temporary hick-up, that with the help of a magic wand my ovarian utility would return, and in the end would bless me with a bloody period.

But no! Nothing! Nada! Zero! Not even a drop!

So I gave up, and being an ideological Buddhist, I began to accept, that in reality I’m cooked. That not even the Bloody Mary can help me to recover, what I have lost during years of starvation and continued mental exhaustion.

Being worn out by the whole experience of having less than zero hormones, I started meditating, doing yoga, taking herb cocktails and even talking to God. I was locking myself in the bedroom, as soon I had the sudden urge to yell, not to scare my already traumatised husband and children, notoriously terrified of the scary mom.

With time passing I began to comprehend that I’ve slowly killed my own ovaries, by skipping meals, watching my waistline and trying to fit in my nine years old daughter’s jeans. That having depleted my body from vital body fat, I was left with no oestrogen, progesterone, not even thyroxin.

Thus I took, the cream, the pill, sometimes both, sometimes neither, and after months of trying to get the dose right, am happy to announce to all of you menopause survivors, that with the right mix of the magical powder (no, it’s not dope I’m talking), you can continue to be alive and kicking, whatever the outlook. That menopause, no matter if you’re 38 or 60 (according to the level of my hormones, I’m 68), doesn’t mean the end of everything that you knew until now, but is simply a question of nailing the precise combination down.

That within a few months of listening to your body and adjusting the portion on your spoon’s end you can get rid of the debilitating hot flashes and start sleeping again (not to mention that you can stop using Almond Oil to lubricate yourself).

Too bad Angelina Jolie didn’t realized it earlier, and had her ovaries removed, without first trying that damn (yet miraculous) progesterone cream!

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Hi, my name is Abby. I'm a writer, globetrotter and expat-blogger. When I'm not busy surviving my midlife crisis without going nuts, you can find me sipping cheap Champagne and nibbling on macarons from Ladurée in the French countryside. Website: http://midlifecrisisnut.com

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Hi, my name is Abby. I'm a writer, globetrotter and expat-blogger. When I'm not busy surviving my midlife crisis without going nuts, you can find me sipping cheap Champagne and nibbling on macarons from Ladurée in the French countryside.

I was peri- menopausal at 50. It took 6 years to come out the other side, but along the journey I was prescribed Evamist ( a transdermal dose of estrogen) and it has been a life saver. I would recommend all women going through menopause discuss their options with a doctor and read testimonials from women like you. I am so proud to be among this generation of women who are open and honest about this time of their lives. You help make that possible. Bravo.

Dear Cheryl,Thank you for such an encouraging comment:))) Well, don't even start me on menopause:))) I could talk/write for hours without end. I've been through hell (and my family too – with young children back then aged two it was even more so difficult) in the past two years. I will surely write about it a bit more, especially since Mrs Jolie started this craze about removing your ovaries – like it's like going to the dentist! But thank you again for encouraging me:) Have a great day!Abby

Thank you for sharing! When I started with symptoms in my early to mid 40's I was so lucky my doctor didn't blow me off and we found a treatment. Now I can sleep at night without being drenched and more importantly drink red wine again!!!! We all need to keep talking and encouraging each other.

Dear Rene,Thank you for your comment:) Absolutely, we have to stick together, not only when it comes to menopause issues. I mean, now I'm laughing about it too, but not so long ago, I didn't take it as light:)Have a good day!Abby