Well, as for the missing song from the Countdown show before Moon Mullican, it sounds quite similar to Sonny Rollins' "Blue Seven." But I'm not 100% sure that's the one, at least, not the version you can find on Amazon.

But now it's time for Christmas, and I guarantee a double appreciation for anyone who would take two hours of their busy holiday time, and help me to figure out some of the songs from this mess of unknown background music. Good thing is that most of them seem to be just popular Christmas carols, and any American should recognize them right away, just like I caught "Carol of the Bells," because it's widely known in Ukraine, too. I don't ask to name the artists, I just need the names of the songs...

From the other hand, there are a few different kind of bed-songs - just like from any regular TTRH episode. A couple of simpler ones I already figured, as for the rest - I hope for your assistance.

I don't know, if there's a need to list all the unknown songs in this preface, there's just too many of them... I'll just mark them with bold font, as always.

Seems, like that's it. Very Merry Christmas to you all, and especially The Great Wandu. Thanks for being here and helping me out for the benefit of all the Dylan fans)

34 Christmas

[Bill Evans – “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” starts]

“Lady in Red” (Ellen Barkin): It's night time in the Big City. A department store Santa sneaks a sip of gin. Mistletoe makes an old man sad. Eight reindeer land on the roof of the Abernathy building.

Bob Dylan: Well it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. And for the next couple of hours, it's going to sound like Christmas, too.

[unknown song #1 in the background]

Bob Dylan: This is the special yuletide extravaganza edition of Theme Time Radio Hour, chock full of Christmas themes, holiday dreams, and jingle bell schemes. So get yourself some eggnog, put up some mistletoe, and sit back and relax. And leave the (driving) to me and Rudolph.

[unknown song #1 in the background fades out]

Bob Dylan: We’re gonna start things off with two tenor saxophone players from Chicago – Tom Archia, along with Gene Ammons. They put out this record under two different names: maybe you have it as “Swinging for Christmas,” my copy says “Boppin’ for Santa.” Here they are, on Chess Records.

Bob Dylan: That was Tom Archia and Gene Ammons, “Swinging for Christmas,” and we’re doing the same here, on Theme Time Radio Hour, because Christmas is a-comin’. One guy who knows that is Huddie William Ledbetter, he (had) the nickname “Lead Belly” when he was in prison. He, allegedly, sang himself out of jail, performing for governor O.K. Allen, in Louisiana, where Lead Belly was serving time in Angola. One of the few ex-cons who recorded a popular children's album. This is from that album, Lead Belly sings for children. Here he is with his (madcap) song “Christmas is a-Comin’,” Lead Belly.

[Leadbelly – “Christmas is a-Comin'”]

Bob Dylan: That was Huddie Ledbetter better known as Lead Belly, “Christmas IS a-Comin'.” And if Christmas is a-comin’, and it’s a fifth Sunday before Christmas, it’s a day known as Stir-up Sunday. That’s a day when it’s considered lucky for everybody in the household to help stir the Christmas Pudding and put on (war paint?). If you’re a fan of Christmas deserts, make sure to stay tuned, cause a little bit later on, I’m gonna be giving you my recipe for Figgy Pudding. Make sure you have a pencil handy.

[unknown song #2 (God Save the Queen?) in the background]

Bob Dylan: This week, we start being heard in England. So, we want to wish everybody a very merry Christmas, and for the duration of this show, anytime I use the word “humor,” “color” or “favor,” I’ll be adding an extra “u.”

Bob Dylan: They celebrate Christmas down there too. They have masquerade bands performing in the streets. Perhaps this next artist, Lord Nelson, was one of those masqueraders. Here he is, the uncrowned king of Soca, Lord Nelson, celebrating a party for Santa Claus.

[Lord Nelson – “A Party for Santa”]

Bob Dylan: Oh yeah, let’s trade that old sleigh and a reindeer for a big car, and a chauffeur. Lord Nelson, “A Party for Santa Claus,” on Theme Time Radio Hour. From Tobago to Detroit.

[The Spike Jones Orchestra – "Frantic Freeway" excerpt]

Bob Dylan: Like a rock, the voice of Chevrolet. Bob Seger. Bob got his start in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Some people call Bob the poor man's Bruce Springsteen, but personally, I always thought Bruce was the rich man's Bob Seger. Love them both though. Here’s a real early song by Bob Seger and The Last Heard. Captures a spirit of rock’n’roll, and a little bit of soul sound, and a whole lot of Christmas. Put it all together – “Sock It to Me Santa.”

[Bob Seger & The Last Heard – “Sock It to Me Santa”]

Bob Dylan: “Sock It to Me Santa.” From 19 and 66, on a Cameo-Parkway label, a young Bob Seger. He’s got a list of demands for Santa.

Bob Dylan: Charles Dickens is known for writing “A Christmas Carol,” but it’s not the only thing he wrote about Christmas. This is from “The Pickwick Papers” in 1836.

[unknown song #3 in the background]

Bob Dylan: “Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fireside and his quiet home!”

[unknown song #3 in the background stops]

Bob Dylan: Far cry from Bah! Humbug! Thank you Charles.

[“Merry Christmas” jingle]

Bob Dylan: Christmas time is a time for celebrating, but we still have to take a moment to think about serious things, and who better tell us than The Staple Singers? They were God's greatest hit makers. And their message-oriented material like “Respect Yourself” and “I'll Take You There” were big hits.

[The Staple Singers – “Who Took the Merry Out of Christmas” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: They did a few Christmas songs that managed to mix a serious message with a soulful dancing beat. Here they are, from 1970, in Stax Records. The Staple Singers, “Who Took the Merry Out of Christmas.”

[The Staple Singers – “Who Took the Merry Out of Christmas”]

Bob Dylan: That was The Staple Singers, “Who Took the Merry Out of Christmas” – a question you could still ask today. We ask the hard questions here, on Theme Time Radio Hour, even if it is the Christmas holidays.

[unknown song #4 in the background]

Bob Dylan: One guy who took the merry out of Christmas was Oliver Cromwell. He was an English military leader, politician and dictator. In 16 and 49 Oliver Cromwell abolished Christmas, he declared it to be an ordinary working day. Anybody caught celebrating Christmas was arrested. He considered feasting and revelry on a holy day immoral. The ban was lifted in 1660. Here on Theme Time Radio Hour we’d like to celebrate Christmas year around. No matter what Oliver Cromwell thinks.

[unknown song #4 in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: You’ve heard us talk about Charles Brown before, and I think it’s actually against the law to do a Christmas program and not play one of his songs. This is one of the best.

[Charles Brown – “Please Come Home for Christmas” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: “Please Come Home for Christmas,” Charles Brown.

[Charles Brown – “Please Come Home for Christmas”]

Bob Dylan: That was Charles Blown on Theme Time Radio Hour, the holiday edition, and ““Please Come Home for Christmas.”

Bob Dylan: In 19 and 85 the rough and rude Johnny Paycheck couldn’t have come home for Christmas. He was convicted for shooting a man in Hillsboro, Ohio, and spent two years in prison. But before that he was already a colorful character. He got his start with George Jones, he played bass and steel guitar in Gorge’s band for a long time, and picked up a few tips about singing, it sounds like. His most famous song, which they actually based a movie on, was “Take This Job and Shove It.” But in 1968 he made a few Christmas singles, and sings the heck out of them.

Bob Dylan: That was Johnny Paycheck doing “Jingle Bells.” One of the best known and most recorded of all the Christmas songs. It was written in 18 and 57 by James Pierpont, who originally wrote it to be a Thanksgiving song. It was so popular at his church during thanksgiving season, that it was repeated at Christmas time, and (caught on), and forever more it was known as a Christmas song. [space sound effects] “Jingle Bells” was also the first song broadcast from outer space. It was kind of a prank. The Gemini-6 astronauts Tom Stafford and Wally Schirra were in space on December 16th, 19 and 65. They told mission control, “We have an object, looks like a satellite, going from north to south, probably in polar orbit. I see a command module, and eight smaller modules in front. The pilot of the command module is wearing a red suit.” The astronauts then produced a smuggled harmonica and sleigh bells, and broadcast their rendition of “Jingle Bells.” [space sound effects] Who do you thing gave them the harmonica?

[unknown song #5 in the background]

Bob Dylan: Mistletoe, which is like athlete’s foot for astronauts, has its roots in the old English word “mistel” which like its German root means, believe it or not, “dung.” It was originally thought to grow from bird droppings on the branches of trees. Mistletoe was considered to have magic powers, and as everyone knows, any two people who meet under a hanging of mistletoe are obliged to kiss. Two people who stood under the mistletoe together were Gerry Mulligan and Judy Holliday. [unknown song #5 in the background fades out]

Bob Dylan: Gerry Mulligan was one on the most influential baritone saxophone players in jazz.

Bob Dylan: Together they wrote and performed this holiday song, “It Must Be Christmas.”

[Gerry Mulligan & Judy Holliday – “It Must Be Christmas”]

Bob Dylan: Gerry Mulligan and Judy Holliday, “It Must Be Christmas,” and it’s beautiful. Judy was born with a name Judith Tuvim. Tuvim is a Yiddish word for “holiday.” She was a daughter of Jewish immigrants from Russia, and her first job in New York was the assistant switchboard operator at Orson Welles’ Mercury Theatre. She was a great actress, and supposedly, was called before the House of Un-American Activities Committee, and totally confused them by performing her famous "dumb blonde" act. She was the only person who was never blacklisted or compelled to name names.

Bob Dylan: Well one of the most exciting parts of Christmas is Christmas morning. The kids wake up, and can’t wait to find their gifts under the tree. Here’s a song that captures that excitement. It’s by Titus Turner. Here he is, on the Okeh record label. “Christmas Morning” – listen to this.

[Titus Turner – “Christmas Morning”]

Bob Dylan: “Christmas Morning,” Titus Turner. He sang a few record, but he’s better known as a songwriter. He wrote such classics as “Sticks and Stones,” “All Around the World,” and “Leave My Kitten Alone.”

[Buddy Emmons(?) - “The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)” in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: “The Christmas Song” or as some people know it “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” which you hear behind me was written by The Velvet Fog, Mel Tormé.

[Buddy Emmons(?) - “The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)” in the background ends]

[Kenny Burrell(?) – “White Christmas” in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: “White Christmas” was written by Irving Berlin. He was very proud of this song. Irving Berlin struggled with writing a Christmas song, he stayed up all night writing it, and the next day he told his secretary, “Grab your pen, and take down this song, I just wrote the best song I’ve ever written. Hell, I just wrote the best song anybody’s ever written.” That’s pretty confident.

[Kenny Burrell(?) – “White Christmas” in the background ends]

[The Bellrays – “Poor Old Rudolph” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Next up: band from Riverside, California, called The Bellrays. “Poor Old Rudolph,” the tale of the saddest reindeer of them all, written by the guitarist Tony Fate.

[The Bellrays – “Poor Old Rudolph”]

Bob Dylan: That was a song about Poor Old Pudolph, The Bellrays. You think, “How come I never heard that?” That’s ‘cause it's a new record, but it sounds like an old record. That record’s made, believe it or not, in the late 90s, and this group is still recording, trying out different sounds. They kinda mix soul music with a punk rock sound. Check them out. Google them.

[?????? – “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: Rudolph wasn’t even one of original reindeer, he was added in 19 an 39, ‘cause of a Christmas story that Robert May wrote. Of course, we all know the other eight reindeer, (it) was Dasher and Dancer, Donner and Blitzen, Prancer and Cupid, Comet and Vixen. And we’ll be hearing more about them a little later.

Bob Dylan: Some people just don’t have the spirit of Christmas, they think it’s all about gift-giving, (though) to be more honest, I think a lot of them thinks it’s all about gift-getting. Christmas is not about running around the stores, spending money, and trying to buy people’s love and affection. But why am I telling you about that? Bob Dorough and Miles Davis tell it a lot better than I could,in this song, from 19 and 62, “Blue Xmas.”

[Bob Dorough & Miles Davis – “Blue Xmas”]

Bob Dylan: “Blue Xmas.” Gil Evans arrangement. Sound a little bit like Miles’ classic “So What.” And everybody knows Bob Dorough, he wrote a lot of the songs in the “Schoolhouse Rock!” and his song “Three Is the Magic Number” was sampled by De La Soul. Xmas, a time when the greedy give a dime to the needy. Bob Dorough and Miles Davis, “Blue Xmas.”

[unknown song #6 in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: Christmas was abbreviated to Xmas, because “X” is not the Roman letter “X,” but the Greek letter [chi] which stands for the first letter of Christmas. The abbreviation became popular during the day when type was set by hand, and when it was easier to put one letter to represent Christ than to spell it out. No disrespect was intended.

[unknown song #6 in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: We’ve got a song now that I’m not even going to introduce. I’m gonna let somebody else do it. Johnny come on in here, and introduce this record.

[footsteps]

[Johnny Otis: Merry Christmas, everyone! This is Johnny Otis. On behalf of Little Esther, Mel Walker and myself, we wanna thank all of you for making us the number one blues and rhythm team in America. We also wanna thank the disc jockeys who have made this possible by playing our records for you. In appreciation we have just recorded a special Christmas blues—listen, will you? But First, Tsther and Mel, let’s wish everyone--Little Esther: Merry Christmas to you!Mel Walker: Merry Christmas to you!“Merry Christmas, everybody! And a happy New Year!”]

Bob Dylan: You’re welcome, Johnny. And merry Christmas to you.

[Little Esther & Johnny Otis Orchestra – “Far Away Christmas”]

Bob Dylan: That was Johnny Otis, along with Little Esther and Mel Walker. You know, Frank Zappa once told me that Johnny Otis was an inspiration for his distinctive facial hair, he thought it looked good on Johnny, so he decided to grow (one) just like.

[unknown song #7 in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: We’re having the coolest of yules, here on Theme Time Radio Hour, where we know what Santa Claus likes to do in his garden, ho, ho, ho. One on the great things about Christmas records is that there’s all kinds: there’s mambas and polkas, jazz and country, – everybody loves Christmas music. You can get people who wouldn’t listen to Country music the rest of the year to suddenly listen to a Johnny Paycheck record, there’s all kind of Christmas records, including beatnik records.

[unknown song #7 in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: On December 23rd 19 and 23 a very famous poem was published anonymously in the Troy, New York, Sentinel. It was reprinted frequently, and eventually authorship was attributed to Clement Clarke Moore. Some people still question whether he wrote it. Whoever wrote it, it’s one of the most famous and greatest of all Christmas poems. Of course, I’m talking about "The Night Before Christmas."

[Patsy Raye and the Beatniks – “Beatnik's Wish” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here’s kind of a beatnik chick’s version, from 19 and 59.

Bob Dylan: Patsy Raye and the “Beatnik's Wish.”

[Patsy Raye and the Beatniks – “Beatnik's Wish”]

Bob Dylan: Hey Patsy, that was great! [clapping] I learned that in the coffee houses. Now here is the real deal “A Visit from St. Nicholas.”

[unknown song #8 in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: “'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds,While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her ’kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below, When to my wondering eyes should appear,But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer, With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! Come, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen! [unknown song #9 in the background starts]To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,When they met with an obstacle, mount to the sky; [unknown song #10: Ukrainian Bell Carol in the background starts]So up to the house-top the coursers they flew, With the sleigh full of Toys, and St. Nicholas too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.As I drew in my head, and was turning around, Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack. His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose’s like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a little round belly, That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,And laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; [unknown song #9 (again?) in the background starts]He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle, But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

[unknown song #9 (again?) in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: This is Theme Time Radio Hour where we (you) wish you have Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, pocket full of money, and a cellar full of beer. You know (a) lot of people don’t celebrate Christmas, like my buddy Dexter Quinn. He’s an atheist. You know what his favorite Christmas movie is? “Coincidence on 34th Street.” Here’s a bunch of other guys who don’t believe in Christmas, they’re From Tacoma, Washington; they’re on the Etiquette record label, and I think these guys are not unfamiliar with the song “Too Much Monkey Business.” Here are The Sonics, “Don’t Believe in Christmas.”

[The Sonics – “Don't Believe in Christmas”]

Bob Dylan: They are The Sonics, and they don’t believe in Christmas. But they do believe in the power of the B-3 organ. A lot of people think it's a Farfisa but you listen to that solo, and that's a B-3. The Sonics. On Theme Time Radio Hour. I hope you’re having a holly jolly Christmas, and a rockin’ New Year.

[unknown song #11 in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: A lot of people ask what myrrh is. It was the gift the third wise man gave, you don’t hear about it much anymore. Well it was a red-brown resinous material, dried sap of the tree; it was a healing salve that could be applied to abrasions, and other minor skin ailments. It was highly praised in ancient times, and worth more than its weight in gold. Pretty good gift. The names of the three wise men are Caspar, Balthazar and Melchior – three name you don’t hear much anymore. Well, except for Balthazar.

[unknown song #11 in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: Another name you don’t hear very often is King Stitt. He was a toaster, and I don't mean you could put bread in him. I mean a DJ, from down in Jamaica, (who) would toast over rhythm tracks.

[King Stitt – “Christmas Tree” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: He was discovered by Count Matchuki at a dance in Jamaica. Count Matchuki was knocked out by his spectacular dance moves, (and asked) him to try his hand at DJing. King Stitt was born with facial disfigurement, but instead of having that hold him back, he used it as a gimmick, calling himself The Ugly One, after the popular movie The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Crowds used to come to see if he’s really ugly or not. But by the time they left, they didn’t care what he look like, they liked what he sounded like. Here he is, The Ugly One himself, King Stitt.

[King Stitt – “Christmas Tree”]

Bob Dylan: That was so good we might play it twice! That was King Stitt and “Christmas Tree,” some Jamaican toasting. While we’re on the subject, here are some toasts for Christmas time: A Merry Christmas in December to a lot of folks I don’t remember. How about this one? A Christmas wish – may you never forget what is worth remembering, or remember what is best forgotten. Here’s one I gave last year:Be merry all, be merry all!With holly dress the festive hall, [inhales] Prepare the song, the feast, the ball!Welcome, Merry Christmas!

Bob Dylan: Christmas. The day of good will, cold weather and warm hearts.

[unknown song #12: Silent Night in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: According to legend Christmas carols got the name from events that happened in the year 18 and 88. In that year a young girl named Carol Poles went missing in London. The whole city went out looking for her, because it was almost Christmas. People knocked on every door, but she could not be found. This was around the same time as the Jack the Ripper killings, so people were afraid to open their doors. The townsfolk would sing Christmas songs, so people would know there was no killer outside. Even with this door-to-door search Carol was never located. But Londoners started calling these Christmas songs carols, after the missing girl. From then on the name Christmas carols was used.

Bob Dylan: Here’s a traditional song that they may have sung back in 18 and 88, but they weren’t singing it this way.

[Huey “Piano” Smith and the Clowns – “Silent Night” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here’s Huey “Piano” Smith and the Clowns, featuring Jessie Thomas on vocals, with kind of an unorthodox Crescent City version if “Silent Night.”

[Huey “Piano” Smith and the Clowns – “Silent Night”]

Bob Dylan: That was Huey Smith and the Clowns, with their version of Silent Night.” You know, one think about the holiday season, you get (a) lot of cards (of) Christmas. I was in the post office the other day, the woman in front of me wanted to buy some stamps for her Christmas cards. Guy at the counter asked her, “What denomination do you want?” She couldn’t believe he asked her that. But she said, “I guess, you better give me 20 Catholic and 10 Presbyterian.

[unknown song #13 in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: I not only get cards, I get Christmas emails. Let me read one, this one’s from Lola (Prysondine), from Montreal. Bonjour! She writes: “Dear Bob! First of all, Merry Christmas! Hope the holidays find you well. I’ve been listening to the show for a couple of months now, and I’ve been buying records by some of the artists I hear there. My friends have been teasing me, because they’ve never heard of these artists. I’m starting to feel bad. What should I do?” Well, Lola, there’s no reason to be ashamed, I like People magazine as much as the next guy, but there is a world outside of that. Don’t be afraid not to follow the herd, because where the herd’s gone, all the fruit is already eaten. I (applaud) you, and have the happiest of holidays.

Bob Dylan: Coming up next, Brave Combo. They say their mission is to expand the musical taste of their listeners. We have the same mission here on Theme Time Radio Hour.

[Brave Combo – “Must Be Santa” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here’s Brave Combo, and the children song “Must Be Santa.”

[Brave Combo – “Must Be Santa”]

Bob Dylan: A very animated Brave Combo. They’re so animated that they made an appearance in 2000 and 4 as cartoon characters on The Simpsons. I was talking to Matt Groening, he’s the guy that created The Simpsons. We got to talking, and this is what he had to say.

[Matt Groening: The thing with The Simpsons is generally we try to get iconic names, like The Rolling Stones, and Paul McCartney, and Ringo Starr, and so on and so forth, and if we can’t get them, we make fun of them. So... Anyway, I’ve been determined to get Brave Combo on the show for years, and finally was able to do that. We had them play at The Simpsons’ 200th episode party—that was almost 200 episodes ago. In fact, that reminds me, we gotta hire them for the 400th episode party, just coming up at the end of this season.]

Bob Dylan: In the 1950s America got Mambo fever.

[unknown excerpt]

Bob Dylan: Bands like Machito, Tito Rodríguez, and Tito Puente popularized the dance craze that swept the entire country. I became so popular that they made jokes on TV-shows like The Honeymooners.

[The Honeymooners excerpt:“What’s so terrible about learning to do the mambo? Everybody does it now!”“Everybody does it, Alice? I don’t know anybody (who) does the mambo! I don’t do it! Norton doesn’t do it! My grandmother never did it!”]

Bob Dylan: It even made it into the world of rock’n’roll, like on this record, by The Enchanters. From 1957, on Coral Records, where they encouraging the fat man from the North Pole to do the mambo. “Mambo, Santa, Mambo.”

[The Enchanters – “Mambo Santa Mambo”]

Bob Dylan: “Mambo, Santa, Mambo,” The Enchanters.

[unknown song #14 in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: Before Pope John Paul the Second’s January nineteen and ninety-eight visit, Fidel Castro, as a show of good will, gave Cubans the day off for Christmas, for the first time in nearly three decades. He had originally cancelled the holiday, hoping that an extra day of work would help bring in a record sugar harvest. It didn’t help enough, and he never brought Christmas back, for nearly three decades. Right now we’d like to say “Feliz Navidad” to all of our Cuban friends.

[unknown song #14 in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: Celia Cruz, a Cuban salsa singer, who spent most of her career in New Jersey, was one of the most popular Latin singers in history.

Bob Dylan: That was Celia Cruz with La Sonora Matancera, and “Fiesta De Navidad.” We got a lot more music to play ya, but I think it’s important to take a moment out, to talk about a little more serious things, like this poem: “Christmas Bells” by [bells in the background] Longfellow.

Bob Dylan: “I Heard the Bells on Christmas DayTheir old familiar carols play,And wild and sweet the words repeatOf peace on earth, good will to men.

I thought how, as the day had come,The belfries of all ChristendomHad rolled along the unbroken songOf peace on earth, good will to men.

Till, ringing singing, on its way,The world revolved from night to day,A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,Of peace on earth, good will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouthThe cannon thundered in the South,And with the sound the carols drownedOf peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head:"There is no peace on earth," I said,"For hate is strong and mocks the songOf peace on earth, good will to men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,With peace on earth, good will to men."” [bells fade out]

Bob Dylan: Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, yuletide poet.

[Steven Wright: Hi, this is Steven Wright wishing you a Merry Christmas on Theme Time Radio Hour.]

Bob Dylan: Christmas is a happy time, but sometimes you can’t help but have the blues. And if you do, you can’t do any better, than listening to Hop Wilson.

Bob Dylan: That was Hop Wilson on the steel guitar. You don’t hear much about him, ‘cause he didn’t record much, and he hated touring. Hop is telling us all about the snow falling, I know what he’s talking about. Looking out of window here, I can see the city’s (blanketed) with snow. I hear that Sabudio International Airport is sucked in. So you got no choice but to stay home, and listen to a little bit of holiday cheer on Theme Time Radio Hour. Just because it’s cold here – and I do mean cold, as icicles hanging down from every window – that doesn’t mean you can’t listen to records that come from a warmer place. They celebrate Christmas in many places of the world, like Trenchtown, the poor area of Kingston, Jamaica. Here's one of the prime movers and shakers in rocksteady, the music that kind of came between ska and reggae. His name is Alton Ellis, and he leads the band called The Lipsticks. And he’s gonna tell you all about merry, merry Christmas.

[Alton Ellis and The Lipsticks – “Merry Merry Christmas”]

Bob Dylan: That was Alton Ellis and The Lipsticks, “Merry, Merry Christmas.” If you’re spending Christmas in Jamaica, you might see Santa riding a riding a cart and a donkey. While we’re on the subject of Santa, let’s grab another email.

[unknown song #15 in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: This one comes from Monique (Van Derp), she’s writing from Holland. She writes: “Dear Theme Time, A friend of mine sended me CDs of your show, I enjoy it greatly. I hear you’re doing a Christmas show, here in the Netherlands we call Santa Claus Kerstman. I was wondering if you knew what they call Santa Claus in some other countries. Happy holidays! And if you ever come to Holland, look me up.” Well thanks Monique, don’t be surprised if I come knocking on your door sometime. Well, Santa is (known) around the world, and here’s what they call him in some different places. In France he’s known as Père Noël, in Italy he’s La Befana, Father Christmas in England – that’s pretty simple; in China he’s called Sheng Dan Lao Ren, and in Finland he is known as Joulupukki. Whatever you call him, he knows if you been naughty and he knows if you been nice.

[“Hey, Santa Claus!”“Yes?”“Don’t forget us grown-ups at Christmas!”]

Bob Dylan: You know, Santa has to visit three hundred and fifty million children in one hundred million homes all around the world. That’s about eight hundred and eighty visits per second. Holy Molly!

[June Christy – “The Merriest” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here’s a song by one of the dreamiest about the merriest. June Christy.

[June Christy – “The Merriest”]

Bob Dylan: That was June Christy saluting the uppers and boosting the downers, wishing you all the merriest.

[“Santa has to travelTo many different placesAnd visit many childrenOf many, many racesYou learn about these placesAnd the kids from other racesOn the Christmas Travel Log”]

Bob Dylan: Here’s how you wish Merry Christmas to people from other parts of the world. You’ll have to forgive my mispronunciation because I don’t speak them like a native, but it’s the thought that counts. For example, [unknown song #15 in the background starts] if you’re in Hungary, you can say “Boldog [Karasqwanta]!,” if you’re in Korea, you say “Sung Tan Chuk[-a kowate, mowboni krisman]!” – that’s pretty close. If you’re in India, say “Shub Chistu[deaty]!” – that might get you there. In Ireland, of course it’s “Nollaig shona duit!” Oh boy, we’re gonna get emails on these. Uuh, if you’re in Malta, just say “Il-Milied It-tajjeb!” Mexico, of course, “Feliz Navidad!” If you’re in Norway this Christmas, “Gledlig jul!” [unknown song #15 in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: And if you’re in Bakersfield, California, you can just say “Merry Christmas!” and Red Simpson might be there to say it right back to you. He was one of the architects of the Bakersfield sound. In 19 and 65, Capitol Records’ Ken Nelson was looking for someone to record songs about the new trucking craze. His first choice was Merle Haggard, Merle wasn’t interested, but Red Simpson was hungry, and he agreed to do it. He recorded “Roll, Truck, Roll.” It became a top forty hit, and Red was on his way to become one of the top singers of truck-driving songs. Red, can you tell us all about this next song?

[Red Simpson: This next song is about a trucker who holds Christmas trees every year, and I think he has just about as much fun as ol’ Santa Claus.]

Bob Dylan: Red, Merry Christmas to you.

[Red Simpson – “Truckin' Trees for Christmas”]

Bob Dylan: That was Red Simpson, he’s truckin' trees for Christmas.

[unknown song #16 in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: (Well, now) Red’s not the only one who has to work on Christmas. Other people who have to work on Christmas include policemen, firemen, bus drivers, subway and train operators, doctors and nurses, priests and pilots, waiters and cooks, and jail wardens. Most prisons make Christmas an extra visitation day, and prisoners are allowed to make a phone call. Prisoners are not allowed to decorate their cells, but generally the cell block has a Christmas tree. To all of our friends listening in behind bars – we know you’ve made mistakes, we’re sorry you have to be there, but Merry Christmas to all of you, from all of us here, at Theme Time Radio Hour.

[unknown song #16 in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: Coming up next, The Youngsters. They all met at Manual Arts High School on Vermont Street, Los Angeles in 19 and 55. A year later they put out the sad tale of Christmas in jail. Here are The Youngsters.

[The Youngsters – “Christmas in Jail”]

[Barry White: Hi, this is Barry White. Make sure you have a safe and happy holiday. Please remember, don’t drink and drive.]

Bob Dylan: It’s out Christmas show, wishing you more happiness than all of my words can tell, not just alone for Christmas, but for all the year as well! One of the most popular features on Theme Time Radio Hour is the double entendre, a song that says one thing, and maybe means another. This one skates dangerously close to being a single entendre.

Bob Dylan: Come on over here on my casting couch! That was Kay Martin and Her Body Guards, talking about her aching sacroiliac. She wants a casting couch for Christmas. Kay Martin played in a lot of hotel lounges; our paths crossed more than once when I was on the road. She's a fine performer, always put on a good show.

[unknown song #17 in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: Early in the show I told you all to go get a pencil, well you’re gonna use it now. I got a lot of letters asking about this – here’s my recipe for Figgy Pudding. Figgy Pudding originated as a porridge in the Middle Ages. In the 16th century it became known as Plum Pudding, now we call it Figgy Pudding. And here’s how I make it. First get four ounces of plain flour, a pinch of salt – just a pinch! four ounces of bread crumbs, four ounces of shredded suet, one t-spoon of mixed spice, one t-spoon of baking powder, three ounces of dark soft brown sugar, eight ounces of chopped dried figs, finely grated rind and the juice of one lemon, two table spoons of milk, and two beaten eggs. Sift salt and flour together, then mix with the remaining dry ingredients. Add the figs, lemon rind and juice, milk, and beaten eggs, and then beat them well. The mixture should have a soft dropping consistency. Put into a greased two pint pudding basin, cover securely and steam for three hours. I like it served with heated golden syrup topping, and a generous pour of custard – makes me hungry just talking about it. My engineer Tex Carbone likes vanilla ice cream on it; I don't understand that at all. Enjoy it, and have a [unknown song #17 in the background fades out] happy holiday!

[A Merry Christmas, girls and boys,I’m on my way with lots of toysTo all you kids (from two to ninety-two)Merry Christmas!]

Bob Dylan: I don’t need to tell you anything more about Sonny Boy Williamson, we played him a lot on Theme Time Radio Hour. Here’s Sonny Boy with his hands in his baby's dresser drawer, and you wouldn't believe what he's trying to find!

[Sonny Boy Williamson – “Santa Claus”]

Bob Dylan: That was Sonny Boy Williamson trying to find his Santa Claus, just like all of us. You’re listening to Theme Time Radio Hour, your home for holiday dreams, themes and schemes. Ross Bagdasarian was a piano player, song writer, an actor and record producer. His first big hit was a song recorded by Rosemary Clooney, called “Come on-a My House,” which we wrote with cousin, the novelist William Saroyan. Under the name David Seville he had a number one hit with the song “The Witch Doctor” which was the first record he made that featured the speed-up voices that would soon make him very famous. The Chipmunks were named after the executives of the record label they were on – Liberty Records – they were named after Alvin Bennett, who was the president, Simon Waronker, the founder and owner of the label, and Theodore Keep, the chief engineer. These records were made by taking vocals sung at a normal speed, and then sped up. Singers had to overly annunciate the words, so they would be clear once they were sped up. Give a listen to what The Chipmunks sound like at a normal speed.

[The Chipmunks – “The Chipmunk Song” excerpt slowed down]

Bob Dylan: Freaky, huh? You can see Ross Bagdasarian in Alfred Hitchcock’s “Rear Window” where he plays the obsessed piano player who lives across the alleyway from Jimmy Stewart.

[unknown jingle(?) starts in the background]

Bob Dylan: Well inevitably, Christmas comes to close, and that mean around the corner is New Year’s Eve.

[same unknown jingle(?) continues:“There’s a new little guy who’s coming your wayHe’s the New Year, yesserie!He’s full of promise, So each doubting Thomas, (beware)Happy New Year!It’s going to be a-swinging up there!]

Bob Dylan: Coming up next on Theme Time Radio Hour: Here are The Cool Breezers – what a great name! – with their song “Hello Mr. New Year.” [unknown jingle(?) in the background fades out] People love making Christmas records, and New Year’s records for that matter, because you can guarantee sales boost and airplay every year. I don’t know if The Cool Breezers got played every year, but we’re gonna certainly play them this year.

[The Cool Breezers – “Hello Mr. New Year” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Say “Hello” to Mr. New Year with The Cool Breezers.

[The Cool Breezers – “Hello Mr. New Year”]

Bob Dylan: That was The Cool Breezers, “Hello Mr. New Year.” How’s Mrs. New Year?

[Ellen Barkin: This Ellen Barkin wishing you Merry Christmas on Theme Time Time Radio Hour, and have a Happy New Year.]

Bob Dylan: They celebrate New Year’s all over the world. And our next performer hails from Soweto, South Africa. Her name’s Mabel Mafuya, and she sings a style known as jive. Not the kind of jive like Slim Galliard, but more of a Morabi style, sort of like South African ragtime. It's heavily influenced by American jazz, but originally Morabi was played on pianos with accompaniment from pebble filled cans. By the 30's, it incorporated new instruments, like guitars, concertinas, and banjos. New kinds of Morabi sprang up, including a Morabi-swing fusion, called African Jazz and Jive. Here's a great example of it. Mabel Mafuya, “Happy Christmas, Happy New Year.”

[Mabel Mafuya – “Happy Christmas, Happy New Year”]

Bob Dylan: The happy and jubilant fantastic “Happy Christmas, Happy New Year.” That was Mabel Mafuya, from 19 and 58 on the Troubadour label, out of South Africa. Exclusively on Theme Time Radio Hour – we cover the globe.

Bob Dylan: The holiday season is a time for joy. However, we’d be remiss if we didn’t take a moment to talk about the holiday blues. It can be a time of loneliness and sadness, and let me tell ya, if you’ve got the holiday blues — if you’ve got any kind of blues — I feel for ya. I know life is hard, but you don’t need anyone to tell you how to feel better. You don’t need Dr. Phil, you don’t need Tony Robbins, you don’t need any of those people on television, any of those people in magazines. You especially don’t need me. I’m gonna tell you the magic formula. What you’ve got to do is: Go out and help someone more unfortunate than you. Go to an orphanage, play football with the kids, go to retirement homes, go to soup kitchens, go into prisons, go see some people. There’s people everywhere who aren’t as well off as you. No matter how bad you have it, somebody got it worse. Instead of adding to the sadness in the world, why not lend a hand? Help somebody out, and not just on Christmas. Why don’t you give it a try year-round? All right, that’s enough preaching. Let’s play a couple more New Year songs before we got to get out of here.

[The Larks – “Christmas to New Years” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here are The Larks, and “Christmas to New Years”

[The Larks – “Christmas to New Years” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: That was The Larks, “Christmas to New Years,” featuring Allen Bunn, who left the band, and changed his name to Tarheel Slim. How does that work? (As) he sit around with his friends, and say, “Hey, guys! From now on I want you to call me Tarheel Slim!” Anyway, in this song they say it’s a long, long time from Christmas to New Year’s, actually, it’s only seven days! I guess it could seem like a long time! This seems like a long time – we’re just doing two hours.

[“We’re making a New Year’s resolutionTo spread a little sunshine every day, So starting now we’re wishing youA Happy New year all the way!”

Bob Dylan: Here’s some of the most popular New Year’s resolutions – how many of these have you made? how many of these will you break? Number one: spend more time with family and friends – resent pool show that more than fifty percent of Americans promised to appreciate loved ones, and spend more time with family and friends this year; – number two: exercise more; number three: lose weight; number four: quit smoking; number five: enjoy life more – I’m goona try that one; – number six: quit drinking; number seven: get out of debt; number eight: learn something new – well that’s easy if you keep listening to Theme Time Radio Hour; – number nine: help other and volunteer – well, I think we’ve talked about that; and number ten – I got this somewhere around here... oh, here it is: – get organized. But New Year’s resolutions not a modern thing, you can track it all the way back to the Babylonians. According to research, the most popular resolution in early Babylonia was to return borrowed farm equipment. I wish Harold would bring back my lawn mower.

[David Hidalgo: Hello, this is David Hidalgo from Los Lobos, and you listen to Theme Time Radio Hour with Bob Dylan, and I’d like to wish you a happy New Year, and have yourself a happy little Christmas.]

Bob Dylan: Nancy Wilson wants to know what you’re doing on the New Year’s Eve. By the mid-60s Nancy Wilson was the second biggest seller on Capital Records. You know who number one was? That's right, Glen Campbell. Nah, I'm just kidding. It was The Beatles.

Bob Dylan: That was Nancy Wilson, “What Are You Doing New Year's Eve.” Well there’s no shortage of drinking on New Year’s Eve. Here’s a few New Year’s toasts: Here’s to the bright New Year, and a fond farewell to the old; here's to the things that are yet to come, and to the memories that we hold. Here’s another one: The New Year is ringing in, May he be bringing in, The good times we've waited time we’ve waited for so long in vain; Without the demanding, All rise and drink standing, And so say we all of us again and again. Oh here’s a good one: Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, and ring in the true.

[“The old Year’s gone, and I’m all through, I’m turning this old world over to you”“I’m ready to go, [b]brand (expected) new[/b]And I’m wishing a happy New Year to all of you!”]

Bob Dylan: Well one song more than any other is associated with New Year’s, and that’s Auld Lang Syne which is Scottish for “Old Long Since,” although it might be better translated, as “Old Long Ago” – “Time’s Gone By” or “Days Gone By.” It’s a poem by Robert Burns, the poet laureate of Scotland. One of the best known songs in the world. In the Philippines it’s also a song of graduations, in the United Kingdom it is played at the close of the annual Congress of Trades Unions, in Japan many stores play it to usher customers out (at) the end of the business day; and in Portugal, Spain and Germany this song is used to mark a farewell.

[????? – “Auld Lang Syne” starts to play in the background]

Bob Dylan: “Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And auld lang syne!

We two have run about the hills,And pulled the daisies fine;But we've wandered many a weary foot,Since auld Lang Syne.

We two have paddled in the stream,From morning sun till dine;But seas between us broad have roaredSince auld Lang Syne.

And there's a hand my trusty friend!And give us a hand o' thine!And we'll take a right good-friendly draught,for auld Lang Syne.”

[????? – “Auld Lang Syne” starts to play in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: It’s been a great year, being able to play record for you here, at Theme Time Radio Hour. We glad you’re all listening, and of behalf of all of us here at the Abernathy Building, we wish you the marries, happiest, and healthiest holiday season. May you show kindness, and receive kindness. Be careful, don’t become a holiday statistic, ‘cause we need you back here in two weeks on an all-new Theme Time Radio Hour. We’ll see you next year.

[unknown song #18 in the background starts]

“Pierre Mancini”: You’ve been listening to Theme Time Radio Hour, with your host, Bob Dylan. Produced by Eddie Gorodetsky. Associate producer, Sonny Webster. Continuity by “Eeps” Martin. Edited by Damian Rodriguez. Supervising editor, Rob Macomber. The Theme Time research team: Diane Lapson and Bernie Bernstein, with additional research by Lynne Sheridan, Kimberly Williams, and Robert Bower. Production assistance by Jim McBean. Special thanks to Randy Ezratty, Debbie Sweeney, Coco Shinomiya, and Samson's Diner. For XM Radio, Lee Abrams. Recorded in Studio B, The Abernathy Building. Studio engineer: Tex Carbone. This has been a Grey Water Park Production in Association with Big Red Tree.

“Pierre Mancini”: This is your announcer, Pierre Mancini, speaking.

“Pierre Mancini”: Join us again in two weeks for Theme Time Radio Hour, when the subject is, “Women’s Names.”

...during "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" there was also "The Bells of St. Mary's" by Fahey as well. And "We Three Kings" definitively by Fahey, too. No luck on identifying the performer of "Rudolph" though...

Some additional info on the songs from Christmas:"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" is by Eddie "Lockjaw" Davis (during the reading of the second email)unknown song #15: sounds like "Joy to the World" - unknown artist.#17: reggae version of "Little Drummer Boy" is performed by The Sonny Bradshaw Seven, alt. title of the song - "Peace And Love."

Now - Women's Names. One unknown song at the end of the program.

35 Women's Names

[Charlie Parker – “Laura” in the background]

“Lady in Red” (Ellen Barkin): It's night time in the Big City. Foghorns bellow in the gloom along the wharf. A crying woman in a nightgown can't flag down a cab.

Bob Dylan: Welcome once again to Theme Time Radio Hour. And tonight we’re gonna talk about a subject close to my heart: women’s names. That which we call our nearest and dearest, the ones we love and wanna love. Let me quote William Shakespeare to you: “What’s in a name? That what we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet. ” So call your sweetie, and tell her we’re gonna play her a song.

[Charlie Parker – “Laura” in the background fades out]

Bob Dylan: We’re not gonna go in strictly alphabetical order, but we’re still gonna start off with A. A is for Anna. And for Arthur Alexander. Arthur was a singer and a song writer, part of the Muscle Shoals scene, hanging around people like Dan Penn, Spooner Oldham, Billy Sheryll(?), and Rick Hall. He didn’t get a lot attraction, unfortunately, and ended up quitting the music business altogether, driving a social services buss to make a living. He made a comeback album in 19 and 93, but didn’t live long enough to enjoy fruits of it. He passed away on tour, supporting the record. But his songs live on.

[Arthur Alexander – “Anna” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: He’s one of the few artists who have his songs recorded both by The Beatles and The Rolling Stones.

Bob Dylan: Rolling Stones did his song “You Better Move On,” and The Beatles did this one – “Anna,” Arthur Alexander.

[Arthur Alexander – “Anna”]

Bob Dylan: That was Arthur Alexander, and “Anna.” Another version of the name Anna is Annabel Lee, as heard in this poem by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe: [sea sound effects]

Bob Dylan: “It was many and many a year ago,In a kingdom by the sea,That a maiden there lived whom you may knowBy the name of Annabel Lee;And this maiden she lived with no other thoughtThan to love and be loved by me.

She was a child and I was a child,In this kingdom by the sea:But we loved with a love that was more than love – I and my Annabel Lee;With a love that the winged seraphs of heavenCoveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,In this kingdom by the sea,A wind blew out of a cloud by night, chillingMy Annabel Lee;So that her high-born kinsmen cameAnd bore her away from me,To shut her up in a sepulchreIn this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,Went envying her and me” – Oh, this is a long poem... –“That was the reason (as all men know,In this kingdom by the sea)That the wind came out of the cloud,Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the loveOf those who were older than we - Of many far wiser than we - And neither the angels in heaven above,Nor the demons down under the sea,Can ever dissever my soul from the soulOf the beautiful Annabel Lee;

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreamsOf the beautiful Annabel Lee;And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyesOf the beautiful Annabel Lee;And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the sideOf my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,In the sepulchre there by the sea – In her tomb by the side of the sea. [sea sound effects fade out]

Bob Dylan: Edgar Allan Poe, fender-bender poet.

Bob Dylan: Let’s hear one now from the poet laureate of Lubbock, Texas. Of course, I’m talking about Buddy Holly, and his song about a sweet lady by the name of Peggy Sue. This song was originally called Cindy-Lou. But the title was changer in honor of Jerry Allison’s gorlfriend and future wife. Jerry Allison paid Buddy back by playing some of the best paradiddles ever heard on a record.

[Buddy Holly and the Crickets – “Peggy Sue” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here’s “Peggy Sue,” Buddy Holly and The Crickets.

[Buddy Holly and the Crickets – “Peggy Sue”]

Bob Dylan: If you knew Peggy Sue, Then you’d know why I feel blue. Buddy Holly and the Crickets. Peg is from Mag which is a diminutive from Margaret which is from the Greek, meaning “pearl.” I don’t think the song would’ve sound(ed?) this good with the name Pearl.

Bob Dylan: Sometimes a woman’s name doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a woman. Like in this song from 19 and 70. Here’s a story of an encounter between a naïve young man and a person named Lola. Ray Davies says, he was inspired to write the song after a friend of his sent the entire night dancing with the transvestite. He was too drunk to notice his stubble, and the rest – is history.

[The Kinks – “Lola” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: The Kinks, La-la-la-la-Lo-la.

[The Kinks – “Lola”]

Bob Dylan: Lo-lo-lo-lo-Lo-la. Well, I’m not done, but I can’t understand why she walk like a woman and talk like a man. I bet she did. Ray Davies and The Kinks. L.O.A.L – Lo-la. Here are some other songs with spelling in the title: “B.A.B.Y” by Carla Thomas, “C.H.I.C.K.E.N.” by The McGee Brothers, “R.O.C.K in the U.S.A.” by John Mellencamp, “D.I.V.O.R.C.E.” by Tammy Wynette, and we can’t forget “G.L.O.R.I.A.” – if you don’t know how to spell, it spells Gloria. Dave Berry once said: “If you drop a guitar down a flight of stairs, it'll play “Gloria” on its way to the bottom.” Let’s see if that’s true... [Them(?) – “G.L.O.R.I.A.” excerpt mixed with noise] How about that?

Bob Dylan: This is Theme Time Radio Hour, talking about women’s names. Some of the names a common, and some of them (???) unusual, like this one – “Safronia B” by Calvin Boze and His All-Stars. I myself don’t know much about Calvin Boze, but our good friend Billy Vera has (it all down).

[Billy Vera: Calvin Boze–real name: B.O.A.Z.—Boaz—was a trumpet playing singer in the Louis Jordan mold. Recorded for a couple little labels, and had a one good size hit on Aladdin, called “Saphronia B.]

Bob Dylan: If you're gonna crank something up, crank this up.

[Calvin Boze and His All-Stars – “Safronia B”]

Bob Dylan: Calvin Boze. Reaching under the bad and grabbing a jug, taking a little nip and getting ready to mug. I, myself, have never met a woman named Safronia, but I wouldn’t be adverse to it. The most popular women’s name in Chili is Maria, in Japan it’s Nasaki, in Spain it’s Lucia, in Denmark it’s Emma, it’s also Emma in Scotland and Norway, and Sweden.

Bob Dylan: Coming up next on Theme Time Radio Hour – 6 foot 3, 3 hundred pounds, the mighty Howlin’ Wolf. He’s accompanied here by one of the finest guitarists who ever played with him – the blazing incandescent Hubert Sumlin. If you don’t believe me, just give a listen to this one – “Louise.”

[Howlin' Wolf and Hubert Sumlin – “Louise”]

Bob Dylan: That was Howlin' Wolf with “Louise.” When Hubert Sumlin was 10 years old, he snuck out to the local juke joint, and stood at the pile of Coca Cola crates to see Howlin’ Wolf play. A few years later he started a band with James Cotton. When Howlin’ Wolf heard him in the West Memphis club, he brought Hubert to Chicago to join his band, and the record they made together were some of the most powerful to come out of the Chess record label. Howlin' Wolf, “Louise.” A name of Old German origin it’s meaning is “renowned fighter,” there are 36 variant forms of Louise, among them: Eloise, Lois, Luisa, Luella, Louisiana, Lulu, Lo-lo-lo-lo-Lo-la, Lolita – help yourself.

[“Lolita” excerpt:“Listen, didn’t you, didn’t you have a daughter? Didn’t you have a daughter with a lovely name? Yeah, a lovely-- what was that now?-- a lovely lyrical lilting name like uh--““”Lolita!”“Lolita, that’s right, Lolita. Diminutive of Dolores, the tears and the roses]

Bob Dylan: Maybe you know a few more? If you do, send us an email.

Bob Dylan: We’re talking about women’s names on Theme Time Radio Hour, and next up are The Jaynetts. They got their name in an interesting way: Zell Sanders owed a label called J&S Records, in 19 and 63, when she was recording this song, he took the J from J&S Records, and the middle name Annetta, and the singer – Leslie Valentine – and created the name The Jaynetts.

[The Jaynetts – “Sally Go Round the Roses” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: They had a big hit with their version of “Sally Go Round the Roses” – a nursery rhyme turned pop-hit about the pretty roses and how they won’t tell you (their) secrets, and neither will I.

[The Jaynetts – “Sally Go Round the Roses”]

Bob Dylan: That was The Jaynetts with “Sally Go Round the Roses.” There’s all kind of theories about what that song means, some people say it’s about a religious experience or a mental break down, some say it’s about a closeted lesbian. But some people (make it simply) a song chanted by children as (a) jumping rope.

Bob Dylan: Jump-rope rhymes are not always as innocent as they sound, like this one: [sound of jumping rope in the background]“Lizzie Borden took an axeAnd gave her mother forty whacks.And when she saw what she had done,She gave her father forty-one.” [sound of jumping rope in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: See, what I mean? Sally, by the way, means princess, or lady in Hebrew, because it’s the pet form of Sarah which is also the name of the wife of Abraham in the Old Testament. She became the mother of Isaac at the age of 90, as Oprah would say: “You go, girl.” Her name backwards is Harpo. [page turns]

Bob Dylan: Next up on Theme Time Radio Hour, in our cavalcade of women’s names, is “Corrina, Corrina.” It was original recorded by Bo Chapman who was the member of The Mississippi Sheiks. The song had great popularity, and was covered by a great number of people, including the two bad boys Ashley and Abernathy, and these guys.

Bob Dylan: Bob Wills and His Texas Playboys, “Corrina, Corrina.” A song that’s had many lives, in 19 and 56 Big Joe Turner recorded an R&B version for Atlantic Records, and it became one of the first rock’n’roll hits.

Bob Dylan: Time for an email, this one’s from George (Blaster) from Davenport, Iowa. He writes: “Dear Bob, I’m having trouble with my two year old son, he cries, has tantrums, and won’t listen to a word I say. What can’t I do? P.S. Keep on playing them swingin’ tracks.” Well thank you George, sounds like your child’s going through the terrible twos, a developmental stage that begins sometime in the toddler years. Your child will grow out of it, but here are some tips to help you get through it: have a regular routine for meals, naps and bedtime; offer limited choices only, such as “Would you like apples or oranges for your snack?” and not just “What do you want for your snack?”; learn to set limits, don’t give in to tantrums, and begin to use time outs.

[Billie Holiday – “Mandy is Two” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Not everybody goes through the terrible twos. Billy Holiday has a song about Mandy, she’s two, and she’s doing fine.

[Billie Holiday – “Mandy is Two”]

Bob Dylan: That was Billie Holiday, “Mandy is Two,” the song written by Johnny Mercer who had a daughter named Georgia Amanda, who is an inspiration for that song. The name Amanda was created in the 17th Century, by the playwright Colley Cibber, who based it on the Latin word meaning “lovable.” She’s not that lovable, going through the terrible twos.

Bob Dylan: Next up, here’s a traditional song by Ralph Stanley and his brother Carter Stanley, it’s called “Little Maggie.” Maggie is a form of Margaret. St. Margaret was murdered in the 4th century; she’s the patron saint of expected mothers.

[Ralph and Carter Stanley – “Little Maggie” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: The song has a close relation to another Southern modern ballad, called "Darlin' Cory” focusing on a hard-drinking, (fast)-shooting mountain girl (defending a moonshine still). Here’s “Little Maggie.”

[Ralph and Carter Stanley – “Little Maggie”]

Bob Dylan: “Little Maggie,” recorded in 19 and 46. While we’re on the subject of (the high lonesome) sounds of the Stanley Brothers, here’s a story about Pretty Polly by a woman with a beautiful name Alexandra Elene MacClean Denny, but her friends (fans?) knew her better as Sandy.

[Sandy Denny – “Pretty Polly” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here she is, Sandy Denny doing a murder ballad “Pretty Polly,” telling a story of a young woman lured into the forest where she is killed and buried in a shallow grave.

[Sandy Denny – “Pretty Polly”]

Bob Dylan: That was Sandy Denny with “Pretty Polly.” This song was known as a broadside ballad, a commercial art form of the 17th and 18th century. A broadside, or broadsheet, is a large single sheet of paper, used to publish advertisements, public notices, political messages and the like. They are also used to publish songs, often of a lurid, scandalous or political nature. They’re kind of like tabloids that you can glue onto a wall.

[“Taxi Driver” excerpt:“I called Betsy again at her office and she said maybe we'd go to a movie together after she gets off work tomorrow. That's my day off. At first she hesitated but I called her again and then she agreed. Betsy, Betsy. Oh no, Betsy what? I forgot to ask her last name again. Damn. I got to remember stuff like that.”]

Bob Dylan: We started off tonight with Anna, we don’t have time to play the entire alphabet, but believe me, there’s a girl’s name for each and every letter, and if you don’t believe me: A is for Abigail, B is for Beth, C is for Carly, D is for Diane, E is for Eve, F is for Francine, G is for Gloria, H is for Hillary, Isabelle, Julie, Katherine, Laura, Melissa, Natalie, Olivia, Penelope, Quincy, Rachel, Stacy, Tracy, Ursula, Viviane, Wendy, Xenia, Yvonne, and Zelda.

[The Chimes – “Zindy Lou” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here’s another one with Z – “Zindy Lou” by The Chimes. A coca-wica-no, and a coca-wica-shae.

[The Chimes – “Zindy Lou”]

Bob Dylan: Zindy Lou, a woman who come from the hills, who can really thrill, a coca-wica-no, and a coca-wica-shae. You can always trust a vocal group whit a guy named Pookie in it, and The Chimes are no exception, they feature Pookie Whooten, Charlie Jackson, Dave Cobb, and John Talbert. [Tony Allen – “Nihgt Owl” in the background] You can also hear them backing up Tony Allen on his R&B classic “Night Owl.”

[Tony Allen – “Nihgt Owl” fades out].

Bob Dylan: Out next song was a hit by The Everly Brothers, but we’re gonna play it by the man who wrote it, Mr. Roy Orbison. The Everly Brothers needed for the B-side of their new single, and they asked Roy if he had anything. He sang his new composition “Claudette,” and they asked him to write the words down. He did – on top of the shoe box. Here’s Roy Orbison, with the original demo version of “Claudette.”

[Roy Orbison – “Claudette”]

Bob Dylan: That was “Claudette” by Roy Orbison, written for his wife who unfortunately was killed in a motorcycle accident in 19 and 66.

[Jenny Lewis: This is Jenny Lewis, and you’re listening to Theme Time Radio Hour with your host Bob Dylan.]

Bob Dylan: Next we got a song written by a famous guy for another famous guy’s daughter who ended up becoming famous herself. Let me explain, Frank Sinatra had a daughter named Nancy, Frank had a friend named Phil Silvers who was a very funny comedic actor, you might remember him as Sergeant Bilko on the old TV-show.

[“Looks like a check from a bank!”“The National (Underwrites) insurance company in settlement for acc--““Accident?”“Five years ago I was hit by a cab.”“Goodbye!”]

Bob Dylan: Phil Silvers heard songwriter Jimmy Van Heusen playing around with a melody, and he said, “Hey, let me try to write a lyric to that!” he wrote “Nancy with a Laughing Face” in honor of Frank’s new daughter. They sent a song to Frank who was performing in New York. He was (choked up), and introduced it on his next radio broadcast. Imagine their surprise, when Frank was performing, and he asked the audience “What do you wanna hear?” and a large number of the audience yelled back “Nancy with a Laughing Face.”

[Frank Sinatra – “Nancy” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: It turned out that the song captured public’s imagination, and soon it was number one in the Stars and Stripes hit parade. Let’s listen to what they’re all yelling about.

[Frank Sinatra – “Nancy”]

Bob Dylan: If I don’t see her each say, I miss her, Gee what a thrill each time I kiss her; Believe me, I've got a case on Nancy, with the laughing face. That was Frank Sinatra with a composition by Phil Silvers and Jimmy Van Heusen, in honor of Nancy Sinatra. Nancy, of course, went on to have some hits of her own, including “Sugar Town,” “Summer Wine,” “Lightning's Girl,” “Some Velvet Morning,” “These Boots are Made for Walking,” and a duet with her father called “Something Stupid.”

Bob Dylan: That’s Bo Diddley, cracking the Mona code. A song, maybe, written about famous painting, The Mona Diddley. Tell you Mona, what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna built my house next door to you. “Mona.” A name that’s derived from the Irish which means “little noble one.”

Bob Dylan: It appears we got time for just one more. Here’s an artist we played on our Christmas show. Gene Ammons was one of the greatest tenor saxophone players that ever lived, and occasionally he had an R&B recorded, like this one, about sweet Jennie Lou – one of those records that just shows you the thin line between jazz and R&B.

[Gene Ammons – “Sweet Jennie Lou”]

Bob Dylan: Gene Ammons, “Sweet Jennie Lou.” Gene’s career was interrupted when he served time in prison between 19 and 58 and 19 and 69, for drug usage. Nowadays, he would have gotten a slap on the wrist and put into rehab. But back then, we were robbed of ten years of his lyrical, musical voice. Fortunately, he left behind a lot of great records, such as “Sweet Jennie Lou.”

[unknown song starts playing in the background]

Bob Dylan: Well, a coca-wica-no, and a coca-wica-shae, we gotta go for another day. But let me leave you with the word of Carl Sandburg:“The woman named TomorrowSits with hairpin in her teethAnd takes her time.”And with that we take our leave. We'll see you next week right here, on Theme Time Radio Hour – themes, dreams and schemes and things of that nature.

[“Top Cat (underscore)”]

“Pierre Mancini”: You’ve been listening to Theme Time Radio Hour, with your host, Bob Dylan. Produced by Eddie Gorodetsky. Associate producer, Sonny Webster. Continuity by “Eeps” Martin. Edited by Damian Rodriguez. Supervising editor, Rob Macomber. The Theme Time research team: Diane Lapson and Bernie Bernstein, with additional research by Lynne Sheridan, Kimberly Williams, and Robert Bower. Production assistance by Jim McBean. Special thanks to Randy Ezratty, Debbie Sweeney, Coco Shinomiya, and Samson's Diner. For XM Radio, Lee Abrams. Recorded in Studio B, The Abernathy Building. Studio engineer: Tex Carbone. This has been a Grey Water Park Production in Association with Big Red Tree.

“Pierre Mancini”: This is your announcer, Pierre Mancini, speaking.

“Pierre Mancini”: Join us again next week for Theme Time Radio Hour, when the subject is, “Hair.”

Some hard-to-figure unidentified(-able) music in this one... which I'm not even hoping to identify. But, I hope to get some help on the words I can't understand...May I add: this episode has a very strange sound quality - even Dylan's voice sounds somehow unusual. There's lots of weird noises in the background - like someone drops something constantly, or something's falling. As for Dylan's voice, I first thought he got cold or something, but then he talks quite a lot in this one - if he'd really wasn't feeling ok, they could've make less talky episode, like "Weather," "Telephone," or "Moon." Meanwhile, there's more than 4500 words in this one. Usually - around 2500-3500. In this one - more words than in "Time." Funny.

36 Hair

[barbershop sound effects in the background]

“Lady in Red” (Ellen Barkin): It's night time in the Big City. A fat man spits cherry pits into a cuspidor. Freshly fallen snow turns gray in the gutter.

Bob Dylan: Welcome to Theme Time Radio Hour. We got quite a show for you tonight. It’s about a subject that everyone’s familiar with, and I can talk about it off the top of my head. Webster defines it as “a thread-like outgrowth from the skin of a mammal.” That’s not quite romantic enough for me. You see it in red, you see it in brown, you see it in black. It’s curly, it’s straight, it’s short or it’s long. By now I’m sure you’ve guessed, we’re talkin’ about hair. Gonna be playing songs about hair-dos, and hair-don’ts. We’re hair today, hairless tomorrow.

[“Proper hairstyling has many factors, and for most – each person must be treated as an individual.”]

[Bill Carlisle – “Sally Let Your Bangs Hang Down” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Let’s start off with jumpin’ Bill Carlisle. Bill recorded with his brother Cliff back in the 30s. Here he is with a traditional song, called “Sally Let Your Bangs Hang Down.”

[“The swing bang gives us what is known as a reverse allusion. Notice how the swing bang is directed up from the face then turns forward, dropping slightly below the hairline.”]

Bob Dylan: While we’re on the subject of bangs here’s the couple of guys out of Massachusetts, who took their band name from a George C. Scott movie. They had a hard time getting a record deal, so they set up a thing called dial-a-song: you would dial it, and it would play a song on their phone machine; they changed it every single day for a couple of years. Here’s one they wrote about the (fringe) you find on somebody’s forehead. Here’s They Might Be Giants with their song “Bangs.”

[They Might Be Giants – “Bangs”]

Bob Dylan: That was “Bangs” by They Might Be Giants. Some other famous people who wore bangs were The Beatles, Marlo Thomas, Prince Valiant, Andy Warhol, and Moe – arguably the smartest of the Stooges, but I'm more of a Shep man myself. [laughter in the background] There’s many different kinds of hairdos and many shades of hair color. The ever popular Eddie Noack recorded his debut single in 19 and 49, about a certain (honey) color of hairstyle.

[Eddie Noack – “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here he is, “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.”

[Eddie Noack – “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes”]

Bob Dylan: That was Eddie Noack, “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes,” here on Theme Time Radio Hour. Blonds aren’t only popular, jokes about blonds are also popular, I don’t condone these jokes, I just repeat them in the public interest: How do you make a blond’s eyes twinkle? Shine a flashlight in her ear; What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? They’re both empty from the neck up. One person who didn’t mind blond jokes is Dolly Parton, she said, “I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes, because I know I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.” A wise woman that Dolly Parton.

[“The finished hairstyle may be compared to a finished painting in as much as the frame you put around the painting can either enhance or detract from the subject itself.”]

Bob Dylan: We been getting a lot of email lately, we’re gonna double up and do a couple of them today. Out first email comes from Eric Hoffman, from (Attleborough?), Massachusetts, he writes in: “Dear Bob, I’m a long time listener, first time writer, and I have a question. Recently I saw a photograph of a painting by a Paul Gauguin. I was entranced. I was wandering if you could tell me a little bit about this artist. Also, could you play some Professor Longhair?” Well, Eric, we’ll definitely play Professor Longhair today. About your other question, it’s a little off the subject, but I’d never wanna stand in a way of someone’s curiosity about art. Paul Gauguin was what they call a post impressionist painter, at age 35 he left his career and his family to devote himself to painting. He developed a style called synthet(s)ism. His best known works (... in) flat planes, solid figures and bright colors we done in Tahiti. If you like his work, may I suggest the paintings of Kurt Schwitters – totally different style, beautiful nonetheless. But back to the subject at hand, or should I say “at head,” ‘cause what we’re talking about – the (fuzz) that grows at the top of your head. On our Devil show we played “Devil’s Haircut” by Beck, we told you (of) about a few other haircuts back then, here’s a bunch more, we’ll be talking about the Afro, talking about Bangs and Beehive, Big hair, the Bun, the Horse Shoe Flat Top and the Duck’s Ass. Layered hair, Low and Tight, the Beatle haircut, the Mop Top, the Permanent Wave, and the Hi-top Fade. I’ve had a number of these haircuts, some of them are more complementary then others. I think in the interest if equal time, we gotta play some things for the bald headed folk. On our Moon show we played a song by our next artist, and we didn’t tell you then that he recorded it under the name Dr. Feelgood and the Interns, ‘cause we just think of him as Piano Red.

[Piano Red – “Baldheaded Lena” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here he is now, with another one of his great songs, “Baldheaded Lena.”

[Piano Red – “Baldheaded Lena”]

Bob Dylan: That was “Baldheaded Lena,” has anybody seen her? Piano Red. Another famous Lena was created by a cartoonist named Basil Wolverton. It’s kind of an interesting story: back in 1946 Al Capp begin a storyline in “Lil' Abner” bout the world’s ugliest woman, Lena the Hyena, she supposedly came from Lower Slobbovia, and was so ugly that anyone who’d saw her would turn insane. For that reason Al Capp never show her face to the reader. Lena caught America’s imagination, and the response was so strong that Al Capp decided to hold a national contest to find an artist who could draw an ugliest woman of all time. There was a celebrity panel including Salvador Dalí, Frank Sinatra, and Boris Karloff who would pick the ugliest woman in the world. Basil Wolverton was an unknown at the time, but he won the 500 dollar prize, and more importantly, his drawing of Lena was on the cover of Life magazine, becoming one of their most famous covers. Wolverton went on to become one of the most popular artists in the early days of MAD magazine.

Bob Dylan: I ran into Matt Groening at the comic book store. He took time out from buying a new “Superman” to talk to me.

[Matt Groening: The secret of designing cartoon characters – and I’m giving away the secret now to all of you out there – is you make a character that you can tell who it is in silhouette. I learned this from watching Mickey Mouse as a kid – you can tell Mickey Mouse from a mile away: those two big ears. And the same thing with Popeye, same thing with Batman, and so... if you look at The Simpsons, they all identifiable in silhouette: Bart with the picket-fence hair, and Marge with the beehive, and Homer with the two little hairs, and all the rest, so I think about hair quite a lot.]

Bob Dylan: Sonny Burgess and the Pacers are gonna tell us all about that Red Headed Woman.

[Sonny Burgess – “Red Headed Woman”]

Bob Dylan: Boy, you hear a record like that and you wish more rockabilly bands had trumpets. Out of the Sun Studios Sonny Burgess and the Pacers. Sonny only made a few records was known as a wild performer. He dyed his hair (bright shade of?) red to match his guitar and sports jacket.

[“It is in our modern day beauty salons that we find the finest beauty equipment, plus highly trained beauticians waiting to serve you in your best interest.”]

Bob Dylan: Some famous hair stylists include José Eber, Christophe, Allen Edwards, Jay Sebring, and Vidal Sassoon. Now what most people don’t know is that Vidal Sassoon volunteered for and fought in the Israeli Defense Forces, when the state of Israel was declared. Because of this, many Arabs refuse to purchase Vidal Sassoon products.

Bob Dylan: A lot of people hear our next artist, and they’re not sure if that’s a man or a woman, ‘cause sings in such a high vocal range. But let me assure you, J. B. Lenoir is all man. As far as we can tell, his entire name was J. B. Lenoir.

[J. B. Lenoir – “Don't Touch My Head” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here’s one he recorded back in the mid-50s called “Don't Touch My Head,” all about his new process. We’ll tell you all bout processes after the song. Here’s J.B. Lenoir.

[J. B. Lenoir – “Don't Touch My Head”]

Bob Dylan: That was J. B. Lenoir, being protective of his process. A process was also known as a conk, it’s a hairstyle popular among African Americans from the 20s to the 60s.

[Little Richard(?) - Royal Crown Hairdressing Commercial:“Slippin’ and a-slidin’ Gene Nobles with that good word on Royal Crown Hair Dressing. Everywhere I go, and I go’s just about everywhere, the girls are really going on Royal Crown Hair Dressing, even old Long Tall Sally use it. You know something, Gene, I go’s for the girl with their Royal Crown look, ‘cause, maaan, um! She’s got it!]

Bob Dylan: A conk would straighten kinky hair with chemicals. You had to wear a do-rag to prevent hair to revert to its natural state. A lot of performers were well known for wearing conks. As a matter of fact, all the photos of Muddy Waters’ album “Electric Mud” show Muddy having his hair conked. It was the final days of the conk however, ‘cause in the late 60s, the Black Power movement encouraged African-Americans to grow their hair out, in a natural style. We’ll be hearing a song about that in just a little while.

Bob Dylan: Here’s another Theme Time Radio Hour favorite, from the tiny town of Prairieville, Texas. One of the main (states?) of honky-tonk music.

Bob Dylan: That was Ray Price, and “Bright Lights and Blonde Haired Women.” There’s lots of famous blonds: Grace Kelly, Marilyn Monroe, Britney Spears, Lisa Kudrow, Paris Hilton. But for my money, one of the most interesting blondes was George Raymond Wagner. [Pomp and Circumstance?? In the background] He wrestled under the name Gorgeous George. He was known as the human orchid. Grew his hair long, dyed it blonde, and put gold-plated bobby-pins in it. His valet would bring him out into the ring to the strains of Pomp and Circumstance. He was bathed in a purple spotlight, reflected off his sequined robes, while his valet sprayed a perfumed disinfectant. George called this Chanel No. 10. In May 1950, he won the American Wrestling Association World Title. He invested a quarter of a million dollars in a one hundred and ninety-five acre turkey ranch. So maybe next Thanksgiving, you’ll be eating one of Gorgeous George’s turkeys. [turkey]

[“Your hair should be washed once every two weeks, or more often if necessary, if your hair squeaks after the final rinsing, you may be sure it’s clean. However, the use of string dyes of bleaches is very likely to make the hair brittle. Brittle hair, in turn, is liable to break off in larger quantities than you care to lose.”]

Bob Dylan: Some people just unhappy with the way they look, especially when it comes to the hair. There’s a lot of famous toupée wearers, I could give you a list of them, but I’m sworn to secrecy. Some people, though, make fun of their own toupée wearing, for example, Jack Benny used to make joke about both his cheapness and his toupée. In truth he was a great tipper, and never wore a toupée. But perhaps the most famous person to make fun of wearing a toupée was Carl Reiner, who played a Alan Brady on the Dick Van Dyke Show. Listen to this.

[Alan: “This is a cute one. I had this one made so people will say, “Alan is losing his hair.” Would you like that one? Would you like a crew cut (??one I had made??) for the summer, or this one (like?) “Alan, you need a haircut.” Huh? What do you suggest I do with all these now, huh?Laura: “Well, there must be some needy bald people.”Alan: “Need bald people!”]

[unknown music in the background]

Bob Dylan: In olden times well made wigs were very expensive, (and) were a sign of status in the community. Some of the wigs were purely for fashion, some to (cover) actual baldness. (and in a) few cases ornate wigs were piled high on head to make a short (potentate) appear taller. The wig was a sign of status, and a statement of power. Many kings, such as King Louis the Eighth, King Edward the First, King Louis the Twelfth, King Phillip, King George the Second, all wore long ornate wigs, as a matter of fact, they would not be seen without them. If someone saw them accidentally without their wig, that person would be put to death. Strange but true. Dukes, earls, kings, and presidents, all wore wigs on the battlefield, in much the same way a general would wear stars. It was a method of identification. Nowadays you can still see remnants of this in the (???) wigs worn by English barristers. [unknown music in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: Here’s a song about somebody who needs a wig, Roy Bird and His Blues Jumpers.

[Roy Bird and His Blues Jumpers – “Bald Head” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Last time we played him, he was under the name Professor Longhair and His Shuffling Hungarians. Different name, same great music. Here’s “Bald Head.”

[Roy Bird and His Blues Jumpers – “Bald Head”]

Bob Dylan: That was Professor Longhair, Roy Bird, “Bald Head.” Nikolai Lenin, not to be confused with Vladimir, said, “Whenever the cause of the people is entrusted to professors, it is lost.” I guess, they didn’t know Professor Longhair.

Bob Dylan: On the average, you have a hundred thousand hairs on your head. It grows twelve centimeters a year, and the average hair lasts from two to seven years. And I think perhaps the smartest man in the world, the man who made the most money for (it’s) company, was the man who wrote a single word – “repeat” after “lather” and “rinse.”

Bob Dylan: This is Theme Time Radio Hour, and we’re talking about hair, and that’s the long and short of it. A little earlier in the program we played J.B. Lenoir, and we told you all about his process, and that’s when the process was at height of fashion. A few years later in 19 and 68, the Black Power movement made the process passé, and encouraged African-Americans to grow their hair out in the natural Afro-style.

[Hank Ballard – “How You Gonna Get Respect” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: James Brown wrote a song along with Hank Ballard and Hank recorded it. It’s called “How You Gonna Get Respect When You Haven’t Cut Your Process Yet.” It’s a political statement that you can dance to, all about this change in hairstyles.

[Hank Ballard – “How You Gonna Get Respect”]

Bob Dylan: James Brown, along with Hank Ballard, “How You Gonna Get Respect When You Haven’t Cut Your Process Yet.” Shakespeare once said: “There's many a man has more hair than wit.” Samuel Goodman Hoffenstein once said: “Babies haven't any hair, old men's head are just as bare, from the cradle to the grave, lies a haircut and a shave.” Albert Einstein once said: “Long hair minimizes the need for barbers, socks can be done without, one leather jacket solves the coat problem for many years, suspenders are superfluous.” I always knew I liked that guy.

Bob Dylan: On our list of haircuts earlier, I mentioned the Duck’s Ass, it was also known as the Ducktail. Here’s Joe Clay singing a song all about it. Joe was from Louisiana, and he chased that elusive hit for years. He ended up playing for thirty years on Bourbon Street, and also drove a bus to support himself. He may not have made it big, but that doesn't mean his records weren't any good. You’ll be the judge, Joe Clay, “Don't You Mess with My Ducktail.”

[Joe Clay – “Don't Mess with My Ducktail”]

Bob Dylan: That was Joe Clay, here on Theme Time Radio Hour, talking about the Duck’s Tail which is also known as a D.A. (or?) Duck’s Ass. The style required that the hair be combed back around the sides of the head, you then used the comb to define the central part running down the back of the head – this looked like a duck’s backside. A lot of people mess up the front of their hair, so a few untidy strands hung over the forehead – this is called the Elephant Trunk. Joe Cirello, a barber from Philadelphia, claimed to have invented the D.A. in 1940, but it was simultaneously fashionable among the Mexican-American pachucos. A large amount of hair grease needed to maintain this haircut is what gave birth to the term “greasers.”

[Brylcreem commercial:“Brylcreem, Brylcreem, Brylcreem.Bryl-creem, a little dab'll do ya,Bryl-creem, you'll look so debonair.Bryl-creem, the gals will all pursue ya,They'll love to get their fingers through your hair.”]

Bob Dylan: There’s certain artists we play awful lot of on Theme Time Radio Hour, and I know what you’re thinking. No, we don’t get any kind of kickback (or) payola, we just like playing people like Louis Jordan. Here he is again, and this time he talks about a girl who spent too long in the beauty booth, and dyed her hair chartreuse – kind of bright-yellow green – people’s hair would turn that color, when they were trying to turn the dark hair into blond hair and left the (peroxide) on too long. So here’s a cautionary tale, courtesy of Louis Jordan and His Tympany Five, “Chartreuse.”

[Louis Jordan and His Tympani Five – “Chartreuse”]

Bob Dylan: That was Louis Jordan, “You Dyed Your Hair Chartreuse.” Dying your hair wild colors is not a recent thing, as far back as 4000 B.C. the Egyptians supposedly dyed their hair blue, green, blond, and various sandy colors, and during the 17 hundreds French women used (?powder??) to color their hair various shades of blue, yellow and pink, they’d look right at home today.

Bob Dylan: Well what do you know, we got another email. This one comes from D. Crosby, somewhere in California. He writes: “Dear Bob, I almost cut my hair. It happened just the other day. It’s getting kinda long. I could’ve said it was in my way. But I didn’t and I wonder why. I feel like letting my freak flag fly. Cos I feel like I owe it to someone.” Well, D., thanks for writing, and I’m glad you didn’t cut your hair. You know, having long hair caused a bit of controversy in the 60s. But actually in the nineteen-twenties, short hair caused the controversy. The Bob haircut was a short, blunt cut, level with the bottom of the ears, all around the head. It was worn either with bangs or with hair brushed off the forehead. In nineteen twenty-one, a lot of women followed the example of Coco Chanel and Clara Bow and began bobbing their hair. Men hated it and in 19 and 25, a teacher in Jersey City, New Jersey, was actually ordered by the Board of Education to let her hair grow. Men divorced their wives over bobbed hair. Preachers warned parishioners that a bobbed woman is a disgraced woman. Maybe someone should write a song for all these women, called “Almost Grew My Hair.”

Bob Dylan: Here’s our old friend Elvis, with one of those songs that used to get lost on the B-side of a single. It’s a hard-rockin’ number called “Baby's Got a Brand New Hairdo.”

[Elvis Costello and the Attractions – “Baby's Got a Brand New Hairdo”]

Bob Dylan: That was “Baby's Got a Brand New Hairdo,” and in the lyrics Elvis sings, “She looks like Billy Boy Arnold, saying ‘I wish you would, I wish you would’.” [Billy Boy Arnold – “I Wish You Would” in the background starts] That’s Billy Boy you’re hearing in the background. He was a young Chicago harmonica player and singer, he got his start on the Cool record label. When he recorded his first 78 as a teenager, he was surprised to see the label read “Billy Boy Arnold” instead of his real name. He kept the name and joined forces with Bo Diddley, that’s him you hear playing harmonica on records like “Bo Diddley” and “I’m a Man.” He never thought that Leonard Chess, who Bo recorded for, liked him, so he signed with the rival Vee-Jay Records. He recorded a lot of great blue(s) sides, including, “I Wish You Would.” A lot of people never knew who he was, but we’re lucky Elvis name (check him?), so we can talk about him here, on Theme Time Radio Hour. [Billy Boy Arnold – “I Wish You Would” in the background fades out]

Bob Dylan: Last time I was in England Ricky Gervais (???) me shopping at (Claridge’s?), and we started talking... Well I let you hear it.

[Ricky Gervais: In the 80s the haircuts... listen, at some points I had more than one haircut (at one) time. I had extensions (...) when I was about 20 – that was ridiculous. Yeah, dying it, (perming) it, everything. Now I do nothing to it. I think I’ve had the same haircut for ten years. I wash it, and I comb it back when it’s wet, and this is how it goes. This is it.]

Bob Dylan: We told you in earlier shows how Eddie Vinson got his nickname “Cleanhead” after a (botched attempt) with a lye-based hair-straightener. Well he wrote a whole song about being baldheaded, and I think today is a good day to play it.

[Eddie “Cleanhead” Vinson – “Cleanhead Blues” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: So here it is – “Cleanhead Blues” by Cleanhead Vinson.

[Eddie “Cleanhead” Vinson – “Cleanhead Blues”]

Bob Dylan: That was Eddie Vinson, “Cleanhead Blues.” Here’s some other famous bald headed folk: Yul Brenner, Sean Connery, Mister Clean, Larry David, Ron Howard, Samuel L. Jackson, Howard Mandel, Charles Barkley, Charlie Brown, Andre Aggassi, and Lex Luther. I gave a bald-headed friend of mine a comb. You know what he said to me? I'll never part with it.

Bob Dylan: Here’s a story about someone with beautiful hair, it’s got a bit of a dark twist though. You would expect that, because it’s from the Brothers Grimm, and it was first published in 1812 as part of their “Children' and Household Tales.” It’s the story of Rapunzel. [unknown music in the background stats] A man and his wife lived next door to a witch. The witch had a garden surrounded by a wall. The wife wanted some Rapunzel which was a type of lettuce at the time. She wanted it so bad that her husband agreed to sneak into the witch’s garden. The witch caught the man and forced him to make a deal, he could take the lettuce, but when they had a child the witch would get the baby. The couple had a baby, and the witch took her, and called her Rapunzel. The witch put her in a high tower that had no door, it had only a small window at the top of the tower. Every morning the witch would climb up Rapunzel’s hair, after repeating a phrase: “Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair so I may climb the golden stare.” One day a prince came by, and heard Rapunzel’s song. He watched the witch and learned the call, and climbed up into the tower. Unfortunately, the witch found out and cut off Rapunzel’s hair, and send her away into a forest. When the prince came to see her, the witch was waiting for him, he climbed up Rapunzel’s hair which the witch had cut off. When the prince realized it was the witch at the top of the tower, he fell from her hair into a bush, and became blinded by the thorns. He wandered around for years and years until he finally found Rapunzel. She cried and he tears fell into a prince’s eyes, and he was able to see again. He returned to his castle with Rapunzel. They were married and lived happily ever after. [unknown music in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: We got time for one more, then I’m heading down to Carl’s getting myself a haircut – 12 dollar plus tip – a good deal. For our last song, we’re gonna let you in behind the scenes, and hear a demo that Johnny Cash recorded for Sun Records in 19 and 54. It was finally released over 20 years later on a collection of Johnny’s work. Here’s Johnny, singing about his baby’s hair – “You're My Baby.”

[Johnny Cash – “You're My Baby”]

Bob Dylan: [laughter] That was Johnny Cash and “You’re My Baby,” he needs your hair to run his fingers through. Well, the old clock on the wall says it’s time to go.

[“This concludes our first recorded series on the art of hairstyling. It is our sincere hope that you use this recording as a beauty aid and apply it to yourself, it will do wonders.”]

Bob Dylan: I’m gonna leave you with the words of P.G. Wodehouse, a very wise man, who says there’s only one cure for gray hair – it was invented by a Frenchman – it’s called the guillotine. You may not like getting gray hair, but consider the alternative. Before we go, here’s a couple of hair care tips: brush your hair before going to bed each night; avoid brushing wet hair – it stretches and eventually breaks – finger dry it or use a wide tooth comb; trim you hair once every 7 weeks to avoid spilt ends; never wash your hair with very hot or very cold water; learn to relax, hair loss can happen because of stress; if you hair is oily cut down on fried food and fat; drink plenty of water, and above all for a thick luxuriant head of hair join us again next week on Theme Time Radio Hour, your home for themes, dreams and schemes.

[“Top Cat (underscore)”]

“Pierre Mancini”: You’ve been listening to Theme Time Radio Hour, with your host, Bob Dylan. Produced by Eddie Gorodetsky. Associate producer, Sonny Webster. Continuity by “Eeps” Martin. Edited by Damian Rodriguez. Supervising editor, Rob Macomber. The Theme Time research team: Diane Lapson and Bernie Bernstein, with additional research by Lynne Sheridan, Kimberly Williams, and Robert Bower. Production assistance by Jim McBean. Special thanks to Randy Ezratty, Debbie Sweeney, Coco Shinomiya, and Samson's Diner. For XM Radio, Lee Abrams. Recorded in Studio B, The Abernathy Building. Studio engineer: Tex Carbone. This has been a Grey Water Park Production in Association with Big Red Tree.

“Pierre Mancini”: This is your announcer, Pierre Mancini, speaking.

“Pierre Mancini”: Join us again next week for Theme Time Radio Hour, when the subject is, “Musical instruments.”

[Hair Club for Men (ad?):“I'm not only the Hair Club president, I'm also a client]

... Paul Gauguin was what they call a post impressionist painter, at age 35 he left his career and his family to devote himself to painting. He developed a style called synthet(s)ism. His best known works (deal in) flat planes ...... [Little Richard(definitely Richard) ...

... Bob Dylan: Here’s another Theme Time Radio Hour favorite, from the tiny town of Prairieville, Texas. One of the (mainstays*) of honky-tonk music.

* referring to Ray Price

[Ray Price – “Bright Lights and Blonde Haired Women” starts playing]

... Nowadays you can still see remnants of this in the (powdered) wigs worn by English barristers ...

Bob Dylan: That was Louis Jordan, “You Dyed Your Hair Chartreuse.” Dying your hair wild colors is not a recent thing, as far back as 4000 B.C. the Egyptians supposedly dyed their hair blue, green, blond, and various sandy colors, and during the 17 hundreds French women used (?powder?? - yes, I think so) to color their hair various shades of blue, yellow and pink, they’d look right at home today ...

Bob Dylan: Last time I was in England Ricky Gervais (caught) me shopping at (Claridge’s? - yes), and we started talking... Well I let you hear it.

... [Ricky Gervais: In the 80s the haircuts... listen, at some points I had more than one haircut (at one) time. I had extensions (put in) when I was about 20 – that was ridiculous. Yeah, dying it, (perming - yes) it, everything. Now I do nothing to it. I think I’ve had the same haircut for ten years. I wash it, and I comb it back when it’s wet, and this is how it goes. This is it.] ...

Let's move on then to the next one then. Especially I need to know the word Dylan says in the into, and what Keb' Mo' says here: "I was asked to be in a band, I could hardly play a guitar, but I was playing (????) in the orchestra, and this guy said..."Of course, any info on music welcomed, as always.

37 Musical Instruments

[tuning]

“Lady in Red” (Ellen Barkin): It's night time in the Big City. A writer stares at a blank sheet of paper. A writer stares at a blank sheet paper.

Bob Dylan: Welcome once again to Theme Time Radio Hour. And tonight we’re gonna visit the college of musical knowledge. We’re gonna raise (???), make a joyful cacophony, as we learn all about the wonderful world of musical instruments.

[“Rusty in Orchestraville” excerpt:“I’m the conductor of Orchestraville. I’m a rulel of all the instruments, would you like to meet some of them?”]

Bob Dylan: The kettledrum, the rattle and the Jew's harp, the talking drum, the tambourine; we’re gonna be hearing all about the charango and the guitar, the harp and the hooked harp, the lute, the musical bowl, the dulcimer, the ukulele, the violin and the buzoki; we’re gonna be hearing from the French horn and the harmonica, the duck flute and the traverse flute, the organ, the recorder, the reed pipe, the mandolin, the banjo, the bagpipes, the accordion, the whistle, and maybe even the theremin.

[unknown excerpt]

[Bonzo Dog Band – “The Intro and The Outro” starts playinf]

Bob Dylan: We’re gonna start off with the Bonzo Dog Band with their song all about musical instruments.

[Bonzo Dog Band – “The Intro and The Outro”]

Bob Dylan: That was the Bonzo Dog Band on Theme Time Radio Hour.

[“Whether is Dixieland or Bob, a small café or a high school hop, the horn most always heads the band, and rides it strong, now, take off, man.”]

Bob Dylan: Here’s the guy who was one of the most influential guitarists of New Orleans. (He) only made a couple of records under his own name. His name is Roy Montrell, and he was playing in Fats Domino’s band, when he passed away in the Netherlands, in 19 and 79.

Bob Dylan: Back in the 50s he made this record which is anything but mellow. Even though it’s called “Everytime I Hear That Mellow Saxophone.” Roy Montrell really (rippin’ it and boppin’) it.

[Roy Montrell – “Everytime I Hear That Mellow Saxophone”]

Bob Dylan: That was Roy Montrell, featuring Lee Allen on the saxophone. Almost every time you hear a tenor saxophone on a New Orleans’ record, it’s pretty good chance that it was Lee Allen. [unknown music#1 in the background] The saxophone is a relatively young instrument, which combines the single-reed mouthpiece with the fingering patterns of the oboe, but produces tonal qualities of neither. The saxophone was invented by a Belgian manufacturer named Adolph Sax. I wonder if his name was Moskowitz, if everyone would be playing the moskophone. [unknown music#1 in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: This is Theme Time Radio Hour and we’re talking about musical instruments this week. We played Bill Monroe a couple of times, and for good reason – he’s the father of bluegrass. But this week we wanna talk about his uncle, Pendleton Vandiver who was a locally renowned fiddle player in Rosine, Kentucky. Following the death of his parents, Bill Monroe went to live with his uncle Pen, and (it was there) he fell in love with the sounds of fiddles.

[Bill Monroe and His Bluegrass Boys – “Uncle Pen” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Later on he composed this song, in honor of his uncle Pen. It’s become a bit of a bluegrass classic. Here’s “Uncle Pen” by Bill Monroe and His bluegrass Boys.

[Bill Monroe and His Bluegrass Boys – “Uncle Pen”]

Bob Dylan: That was “Uncle Pen” by Bill Monroe. The violin has a big sister, called the cello, and I ran into Ricky Jay at the dog park, and he told me about the most interesting cello player he ever heard of.

[Ricky Jay: A wonderful vaudeville actor was named Eddie Eddie(?) and what he did was to play the cello, but played the cello with the bucket (by) him, and the purpose of the bucket was to catch the tears which fed copiously and almost continuously from him as he played. Eddie Eddie the Cry Artist. I think his playing the cello is what made the audience cry.]

[unknown excerpt:“Learn these four chords and together with the beats we will show you, you will be able to play most of the popular music of today.”]

Bob Dylan: Next up, from 1957 on Cincinnati’s Lee record label, the mighty Bill Watkins, and a song about his big guitar.

[Bill Watkins – “Big Guitar”]

Bob Dylan: Hey girls, you all going my way, wait for me. That was Bill Watkins, who else? Bill was born in the B(?)ackwoods of Tennessee. After the Korean War Bill moved to Cincinnati. He made a couple of records for the Lee record label in Cincinnati. He worked in a paper mill during the day, and at night you could hear him at the country music clubs, playing a big guitar. Perhaps (it’s a) guitarrón a very large, deep-bodied Mexican six-string acoustic bass guitar.

[“Rusty in Orchestraville” excerpt:“But I can’t play the violin”“Oh yes you can! You see, any little boy who is lucky enough to get into Orchestraville can play any instrument he wants. Go ahead, Rusty, put the violin under your chin and try.”“Well, I’ll try, but--”]

Bob Dylan: The violin and the fiddle are basically the same instrument, they both come from the same Latin root, but violin comes from the Romans languages, and fiddle through the Germanic languages. One difference between fiddles and ordinary violins can be seen in American fiddle-playing – the violin sings, the fiddle dances. Or as some bluegrass musicians say, a fiddle is a violin with attitude.

[Nehemiah Reid – “The Fiddler” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Nehemiah Reid is a Jamaican who’s written a song all bout a fiddle player, though a fiddle player is nowhere near the record. Give a listen.

[Nehemiah Reid – “The Fiddler”]

Bob Dylan: That was Nehemiah Reid and “The Fiddler.” [unknown music#2 in the background] Legend has it, in the 64 A.D. the Emperor Nero set fire to Rome to see how Troy would look while it was in flames. And to serve as a suitable background for a recitation of his poetry, supposedly, he played the fiddle while Rome burned. But the fiddle, as we know it, had not been invented yet, instead he probably played the lute or a lyre. [unknown music#2 in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: You can’t talk about musical instruments without talking about Gabriel's horn.

[Henry Allen – “Someone Stole Gabriel's Horn” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Henry “Red” Allen has a little song about the theft of that instrument. Red Allen was one of the last great New Orleans trumpet players. Here he is, telling the brothers and sisters they better start to pray for they got no chance to get into heaven, not with what went on today. Henry “Red” Allen, “Somebody Stole Gabriel's Horn.” They better bring it back.

[Henry Allen – “Someone Stole Gabriel's Horn”]

Bob Dylan: That was Red Allen, “Someone Stole Gabriel's Horn.” [unknown song#3 in the background] The angel Gabriel is an important figure in Judaism, Christianity and Islam. He first appears in the Old Testament book of Daniel, as a messenger and revealer. In later Christian tradition, he is the unidentified angel in the Book of Revelations, who blows the horn announcing the Judgment Day. [unknown song#3 in the background ends] You got to have a lot of nerve to steal that guy’s horn.

[“Tubby the Tubba”(?) excerpt:“Tubby, I've never heard a tuba play a melody before. Let’s hear the rest of it”]

Bob Dylan: Johnny Mercer was a great songwriter, but he also loved performing songs by other artists. Here he performs a song by Herman Hupfeld who also wrote “As Time Goes By.” This song isn’t quite as serious, it’s called "When Yuba Plays the Rhumba on the Tuba." This is the one where he knocks eleven ladies for loop-a, and actually rhymes “green horn” with “mean horn.” I gotta remember that. Here’s Johnny Mercer, "When Yuba Plays the Rhumba on the Tuba (Down in Cuba)."

[Johnny Mercer – “When Yuba Plays the Rhumba on the Tuba”]

Bob Dylan: That was Johnny Mercer knocking you out with "When Yuba Plays the Rhumba on the Tuba Down in Cuba." A tuba is the largest of the low brass instruments, and is one of the most recent additions to the modern symphony orchestra.

[“Tubby the Tubba”(?) excerpt:“Tubby, you should try that with your orchestra, sometime”“‘Oh, I will,’ said Tubby, ‘Goodbye, Mr. Frog.’”“‘Mm,’ said the Frog, ‘Most appreciative audience I’ve ever had. Fine musician that Tuba’.”]

Bob Dylan: Well there’s one type of person who loves to hang around musicians, and that’s drummers, and we got a song now of the female variety. This is by a band from Seattle, called The Young Fresh Fellows, led by by Scott McCaughey who since 19 and 94 has been paying the bills by being the unofficial fifth member of R.E.M.

[The Young Fresh Fellows – “Hillbilly Drummer Girl” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here’s a song recorded in 19 and 91, a tribute to the hillbilly drummer girl.

[The Young Fresh Fellows – “Hillbilly Drummer Girl”]

Bob Dylan: That was The Young Fresh Fellows on Theme Time Radio Hour with the “Hillbilly Drummer Girl.” If you like female drummers, may I recommend: Meg White of The White Stripes, Tennessee Thomas in The Like, Gina Shock in The Go-Go’s, Miriam Linna in The Cramps, and of course who could forget Karen Carpenter.

[unknown excerpt:“The drummer, at this point, hast to do a (tum-tum) effect, something like from East India, and the band is playing [...] at this point (...) you sneak in, you do your (...)[...] and then of course if you done the (cue), you don’t keep doing it, you do it until the effect is over.”]

Bob Dylan: Victor Borge once said: “The difference between the violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.” But this track about a fiddle burns for about two and a half minutes.

[The Davis Sisters – “Fiddle Diddle Boogie” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: The Davis Sisters, “Fiddle Diddle Boogie.”

[The Davis Sisters – “Fiddle Diddle Boogie”]

Bob Dylan: That was Betty Jack and Skeeter Davis. The Davis Sisters weren’t really the sisters at all. Betty Jack Davis and Mary Frances Penick met in high school in Kentucky, and formed a musical partnership. Mary Penick changet her name to Skeeter Davis, so they could be billed as sisters. Her grandfather gave her the nickname Skeeter, because he says she moved around like a little mosquito. Unfortunately, The Davis Sisters had only one recording session before they were involved in a serious auto accident. Betty Jack died instantly. Skeeter recovered, and tried to recreate (their) distinctive sound, using the new [in doubled voice: (double)-track technology], but she couldn’t recreate the music she made with Betty Jack, so she went off on her own, and became one of the most successful women-singers in the country pop field with her 1963 smash "The End of the World." Skeeter Davis – The Davis Sisters on Theme Time Radio Hour, where we’re talking about musical instruments.

[“Rusty in Orchestraville”(?) excerpt:“Who’s that?”“Just Tommy’s older brother – Tony the Trombone.”“Why does he keep sticking out his tongue at me?”“That’s his slide, that’s how he changes tones by sliding it in and out.”]

Bob Dylan: (Oh) let’s see if we got an email. Oh here’s one, from (Wanda Mulligan) in Syosset, New York. Wanda writes: “To whom it may concern: I recently heard a song on the radio, a I couldn’t believe what I heard, I think it was actually dirty. Could they play stuff like that on the radio? P.S. I love the show.” Well thanks, Wanda. Of course, here on Theme Time Radio Hour we can play anything, but some radio stations still worry about what they play. Some people figure out a way to work around it, and write a song that seems to be about one thing, when it’s actually about another thing. Perhaps it’ll be easier if I give you an example.

[Dinah Washington – “Big Long Slidin' Thing” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here’s Dinah Washington. She’s been in every bar, been in every honky-tonk, trying to find her daddy with that broke down piece of junk. You know what she’s talking about, the big long slidin’ thing.

[Dinah Washington – “Big Long Slidin' Thing”]

Bob Dylan: That was Dinah Washington, and a song about the trombone player. The trombone, otherwise as the sackbut, was invented in Belgium around 1450 – give or take a couple of years.

[Peter Wolf: Hi this is Pete Wolf, also known as Woofa Goofa Mama Toofa and you’re listening to Bob Dylan, and Theme Time Radio Hour.]

Bob Dylan: The harmonica is the world’s best selling musical instrument. You’re welcome.

[Stevie Wonder – “Hey Mr. Harmonica Man” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: While we’re on this subject, here’s Stevie Wonder with his song about the harmonica.

[Stevie Wonder – “Hey Mr. Harmonica Man”]

Bob Dylan: That was Stevie Wonder. You don’t hear records like that anymore.

[jingle:“There is no place like a homeWith an electric organ.”“Yes, and there’s an electric organ for every home. Listen and learn how easy it is to enjoy one.”]

Bob Dylan: Here’s a different musical instrument, a different drum, to be exact, sung by Linda Ronstadt when she was a member of a folk-rock band The Stone Poneys. This song was written by Mike Nesmith who’s perhaps best known as being one of The Monkees, but he was also a good songwriter and this one was a top-20 hit.

Bob Dylan: Linda Ronstadt and The Stone Poneys, “Different Drum.” Anybody knows the difference between the drummer and the savings bond? Eventually the savings bond will mature and earn money. [drum roll] You know how to get a guitarist to turn down? Put a sheet of music in front of him. [drum roll]

[??? In the background]

Bob Dylan: Andrés Segovia once said: “A guitar is a small orchestra. It is polyphonic, every string is a different color, a different voice.”

[??excerpt:“Hi everybody! This is Buck Owens, and I’d like to welcome you to the happy world of guitar pickers. Believe me you, it’s a happy world when you learn to play the guitar!”]

[Don Rich & The Buckaroos – “Buckaroo” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: One guy who knew that is Don Rich. He was the guitar player with Buck and The Buckaroos. As a matter of fact, Buck Owens was (...) saying, “I think my musical life ended when his did," referring to a Don Rich’s tragic death in a motorcycle accident in 19 and 74. But for years before that Don Played guitar and fiddle [Don Rich & The Buckaroos – “Buckaroo” ends] along with Buck, and occasionally he even sang a song, like this one.

[Don Rich and the Buckaroos – “Round Hole Guitar” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Don Rich and His Buckaroos, “Round Hole Guitar.”

[Don Rich and the Buckaroos – “Round Hole Guitar”]

Bob Dylan: You learn to pick. You learn to sing. You try to make a name for yourself. You travel near and you travel far just picking that big round hole guitar. Don Rich. He knows that all musicians get girls, but a guitarist has his pick.

[unknown excerpt]

Bob Dylan: And while we’re on the subject of guitars – I was talking to Keb' Mo', and I asked him, when he knew that he wanted to be a guitarist? And he told me it was all due to Wayne Newton. No, seriously, here’s what he said.

[Keb’ Mo’: When I first got the guitar, I didn’t know that was it for me. I didn’t know. Because it was just an instrument, but I think, when I gotten my first band. You know what it was like. I was asked to be in a band, I could hardly play a guitar, but I was playing (????)in the orchestra, and this guy said, “Why don’t you come be in our band, we need another guitar player. We’ll just show you how to play the song as we go.” So I learned the song as I went. (And then) when I got in the band, I started singing songs and, I think that’s when I knew the guitar was it for me.]

[“Sweet and Lowdown” excerpt:“He’s like a cat, feline with a guitar which is his only certainly deepest love. No, his only. The sound, the beat, the ideas, where do they come from?”]

Bob Dylan: This is Theme Time Radio Hour, and we’re talking about musical instruments. Here’s Bessie Smith and Her Blue Boys, featuring he favorite trombonist, or should I say, sackbut player? – Charlie Greene. Charlie played with Fletcher Henderson, Benny Carter, Chick Webb, Don Redman, and Kaiser Marshall. He would’ve made a lot more music, if hadn’t have died from passing out on his doorstep on a winter night, and freezing to death. But let’s not remember him like that, let’s remember him for his great playing. Here’s a tribute to him – “Trombone Cholly.”

[Bessie Smith and Her Blue Boys – “Trombone Cholly”]

Bob Dylan: “Trombone Cholly,” Bessie Smith. Not all trombone music is jazz or blues.

[unknown song#4 in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: In the background you’re listening to what is called “trombone shout band,” they play gospel music with a number of trombone players, sometimes (????). They connected to New Orleans jazz brass bands, (but) can be heard in United House of Prayer Churches on the East Coast. Some trombone shout bands include: Madison's Lively Stones, George Holland and The Happyland Band, and Norvis Miller and The Kings of Harmony. Trombones were added to the orchestra in the 18th century. But their most popular role was as vocal support for sacred music of the church – a tradition that is being continued today by the trombone shout bands.

[unknown song#4 in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: Here’s a guy we play a lot of on Theme Time Radio Hour, I think I’ve told you all about him, so I’m gonna let this song speak for itself.

[Tom Waits – “The Piano Has Been Drinking” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Tom Waits has played a lot of lousy gigs in his life, here he puts all of them to music – “The Piano Has Been Drinking,” Tom Waits.

[Tom Waits – “The Piano Has Been Drinking”]

Bob Dylan: That was Tom Waits, “The Piano Has Been Drinking.” Right here on Theme Time Radio Hour. And by the way, the piano covers the full spectrum of all orchestra instruments from below the lowest note of the double bassoon to above the top note of the piccolo.

[“Piano! Piano!The instrument you’d love to oweA price and style for every home!”]

[Eddie “Lockjaw” Davis – ??? in the background]

Bob Dylan: In 1953 John Clellon Holmes wrote a novel called “The Horn.” It was a big favorite of jack Kerouac’s. Here’s a description of the saxophone from “The Horn.” While I’m reading it, you’ll be hearing the tenor saxophone (stylings?) of Eddie “Lockjaw” Davis.

Bob Dylan: “To Walden the saxophone was, at once, his key to the world in which he found himself, and the way by which that world was rendered impotent to brand him either a failure or madman or Negro or saint. But then sometimes on the smoky stand, between solos, he hung it from his swinging shoulder like one bright, golden wing, and waited for his time."

[Eddie “Lockjaw” Davis – ??? in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: Here’s a song about saxophones. By Buddy Johnson and His Orchestra.

Bob Dylan: Well it’s time for us to pack up our instruments, and get into the van, and head for the next gig. In the meantime remember don’t B sharp, don’t B flat – B natural. We’ll see you again next week on Theme Time Radio Hour – where you hear all your dreams, themes and schemes – instrumentally speaking.

[“Top Cat (underscore)”]

“Pierre Mancini”: You’ve been listening to Theme Time Radio Hour, with your host, Bob Dylan. Produced by Eddie Gorodetsky. Associate producer, Sonny Webster. Continuity by “Eeps” Martin. Edited by Damian Rodriguez. Supervising editor, Rob Macomber. The Theme Time research team: Diane Lapson and Bernie Bernstein, with additional research by Lynne Sheridan, Kimberly Williams, and Robert Bower. Production assistance by Jim McBean. Special thanks to Randy Ezratty, Debbie Sweeney, Coco Shinomiya, and Samson's Diner. For XM Radio, Lee Abrams. Recorded in Studio B, The Abernathy Building. Studio engineer: Tex Carbone. This has been a Grey Water Park Production in Association with Big Red Tree.

“Pierre Mancini”: This is your announcer, Pierre Mancini, speaking.

“Pierre Mancini”: Join us again next week for Theme Time Radio Hour, when the subject is, “Luck.”

Bob Dylan: Welcome once again to Theme Time Radio Hour. As Albert Einstein once said, “I will never believe that God plays dice with the universe.” Well, I'm not usually one to disagree with someone as smart as Albert Einstein, but today we’re gonna look at the idea of playing dice with the universe, as we examine the world of luck. Good luck and bad luck. Luck of the draw. Dumb luck. The luck of the lady, and the luck of the Irish. Lucky ducky and pressing your luck. We're talking about being lucky in love and tough luck. We're gonna be talking about hard luck and down on your luck. And as luck would have it we're gonna be talking about shit outta luck.

[rolling dice]

Bob Dylan: Let’s start things off in a good mood.

[Paul Evans – “Happy-Go-Lucky-Me” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: This is Paul Evans, the man who wrote the song “Roses Are Red (My Love)” for Bobby Vinton. He wrote songs for Elvis Presley, Jackie Wilson, and Reba McEntire. And he wrote this song, “Happy-Go-Lucky-Me.” Here’s Paul Evans.

[Paul Evans – “Happy-Go-Lucky-Me”]

Bob Dylan: That was Paul Evans, laughing when things ain’t funny, and smiling when he ain’t got no money, “Happy-Go-Lucky-Me.” (If) that song sounds familiar, maybe you heard it as the theme to John Waters 19 and 98 movie “Pecker.”

[“Pecker” excerpt:Bernie: Do you know what I do at the Shangri-La? Natalie: You're a cooler. You turn winners into losers. Bernie: Do you know how I do that? Natalie: Listen, I know there's a lot of stuff that happens in casinos all the time. Bernie: I do it by being myself. People get next to me their luck turns. It's always been that way.]

Bob Dylan: (Here are some) things that are considered unlucky: the number 13, like Friday the 13th, spilling salt is considered bad luck. When salt was more precious than gold, if you spilled some, people thought it meant that a demon was trying to steal your salt. But if you throw a little salt over your left shoulder the demon would take that and leave. Breaking a mirror is considered bad luck, according to legend the image in a mirror is our actual soul, when you beak a mirror, your soul is separated from your body. Bad luck indeed! We’ll talk about some other bad luck stuff later on in the show.

[Blind Lemon Jefferson – “Bad Luck Blues” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here’s a song that is based on the Blind Lemon Jefferson song. Lemon called it “Bad Luck Blues,”

[Blind Lemon Jefferson – “Bad Luck Blues” continues]

Bob Dylan: A few years later in 18 and 61 B.B. this – “Bad Luck Soul.”

[B. B. King – “Bad Luck Soul”]

Bob Dylan: B. B. King, “Bad Luck Soul” on Theme Time Radio Hour. Sometimes you just play the record, ‘cause you like the name of the band – I love the name of this band, but also love the record. It’s Eddie Dugosh and The Ah-Ha Playboys, from down in San Antonio, on the Sarge record label. Willie Nelson and Doug Sahm made their earliest recordings for Sarge. But mostly the label recorded western swing Eddie Dugosh recorded this songs with His Playboys which featured Johnny Olenn and Rudy “Tutti” Grayzell. They later switched to a more rock’n’roll sound.

Bob Dylan: That was Eddie Dugosh and The Ah-Ha Playboys with “Bad Luck Come My Way.” I don’t wanna dwell too much on bad luck, but here’s a couple of other things that bring bad mojo upon ya: a hat left on a bed, a black cat crossing one’s path, walking underneath a ladder [steps] – if you wonder where that superstition comes from: a condemned man walking to the gallows often had to pass underneath a ladder before climbing (...) up the gallows. [sound effects]

Bob Dylan: In Chinese culture the numbers 8, 6, and 9 are considered lucky. I prefer the number seven myself. [“Lucky 7" by The Skatalites excerpt]

[unknown song in the backgroung]

Bob Dylan: Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.” The cause is Theme Time Radio Hour, and the effect is one hour of music, about that mysterious subject – luck.

[unknown song in the backgroung ends]

Bob Dylan: We played Buddy Johnson a lot of Theme Time Radio Hour, and for good reason – he's a forgotten guy who made a whole lot of great records. What we haven't done is played his sister, who was the singer with the band.

Bob Dylan: That was Buddy and Ella Johnson, “Alright, Okay, You Win.” Emily Dickinson had some feelings about luck, she didn’t think it was chance at all, here’s what she had to say: “Luck is not chance, it’s toil; fortune's expensive smile is earned. The father of the mine Is that old-fashioned coin we spurned.”

[“Drugstore Cowboy” excerpt:“Dou you have any idea what you have done to us? Our luck just flew out the window for the next 30 days.”“Never look at the backside of the mirror because when you do, it'll affect your future because you're looking at yourself backwards.” “The most important thing, though, is the goddamn hat. The goddamn hat on the bed is the king of 'em all! Hell, that's worth at least, what, 15 years bad luck? Or even death."]

[Lazy Lester – “The Same Thing Could Happen to You” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Lazy Lester became a professional musician almost by accident. He ran into (guitar’s) Lightnin' Slim. Slim was looking for his harmonica player who’d gone missing, Lester played harmonica, and a musical partnership was formed. They both recorded for the Excello record label, and that’s where this record comes from – “The Same Thing Could Happen to You,” Lazy Lester.

[Lazy Lester – “The Same Thing Could Happen to You”]

Bob Dylan: That was Lazy Lester, and “The Same Thing Could Happen to You.” Talking bout veriest things that could bring bad mojo upon ya.

[Wardell Gray Quartet – “Twisted” starts in the background]

Bob Dylan: Annie Ross is probably best known as one third of the jazz singing trio Lambert, Hendricks & Ross. They took jazz songs and wrote lyrics for the solos. Perhaps most famously, was Annie’s version Wardell Gray’s “Twisted” which was later covered by Joni Mitchell and Bette Midler.

[Wardell Gray Quartet – “Twisted” fades out]

[Annie Ross and Zoot Sims – “I'm Just a Lucky So and So” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here she is in a little bit straighter jazz context, singing a song written by Duke Ellington. She’s accompanied by tenor saxophone player Zoot Sims, in a song called “I'm Just a Lucky So and So.”

[Annie Ross and Zoot Sims – “I'm Just a Lucky So and So”]

Bob Dylan: That was Annie Ross and Zoot Sims, “I'm Just a Lucky So and So.”

[unknown song in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: A lot of people who’d go on game shows feel lucky, mathematicians and probability scientists have a thing called The Monty Hall problem, named after the host of the famous game show “Let’s Make a Deal” – it’s very complicated, and I wouldn’t try to explain it to you, luckily I know a bunch of people who are good with science, magician [unknown song in the background ends] Penn Gillette is one of them, I asked him to explain this to me.

[Penn Gillette: Well, Bob, here’s how The Monty Hall problem works. You’re playing “Let’s Make a Deal,” behind one door there’s a car, (behind) two doors is a goat, you choose, let’s say, door number two, and then Monty Hall who knows where the car is, shows you door number three, and says: ‘That’s a goat, it’s not there.’ The question is, and the Monty Hall question: ‘Do you stay with your original guess, do you switch, or does it not matter?’ You may think it doesn’t matter at all, but it actually matters greatly. Because if you switch, you have a 2/3 chance of winning, think of it this way: when you first pick, you have a 1 in 3 chance of being right, you have a 2 in 3 chance of being wrong, you have one choice, there are two left, the fact they show you that one door’s not the car doesn’t change anything, it’s still a 2/3 chance that it’s, on the other side, that it’s wrong. So if you switch, you have 2/3 chance of winning and getting a car, unless, of course, you wanna goat, in which case, stay with your original. Remember, luck is probability taken personally.]

[jingle:Lady Luck has me her (pick)Another listener’s turns a trickProving once again (it pays) to listen]

Bob Dylan: You’re listening to Theme Time Radio Hour, and we’re talking about luck: good, bad, and all points in-between. Let’s reach in to the email barrel, and see what comes up. Ah! Here we are – this one’s from William (McDuff), he writes us: “Dear Bob, I heard on last week’s show that next week’s subject is going to be about luck. Well I’m the original Bad Luck Kid: if it started raining soup, I’d be stuck with a fork. What can I do to turn my luck around?” Signed: William McDuff.

[unknown song starts to play in the background]

Bob Dylan: Well, Bill – you don’t mind if I call you Bill, do you? There’s no such thing as bad luck, as Ray Kroc who started McDonald’s once said: “Luck is a dividend of sweat – the more you sweat, the luckier you get.”

Bob Dylan: Henry Ward Beecher believed pretty much the same thing: “I never knew an early-rising, hard-working, prudent man, careful of his earnings, and strictly honest who complained of bad luck.” That said, Bill, there are a few things you can do to be careful: you can avoid black cats, you can avoid broken mirrors, and you can avoid the number 13. 13 has long been considered an unlucky number, some traditions have it that at the last supper Judas was the 13th to sit at the table making him bad luck indeed. However, the Mesopotamian code of Hammurabi from 1686 BC omits 13 in its numbers altogether – that seems to indicate that a superstition existed long before the Christian era. Wherever it originated, so many people frightened of the number 13 that psychologists have created a word to describe this fear, the call it triskaidekaphobia.

[unknown song in the background ends]

[Roosevelt Sykes – “You Can't Be Lucky All the Time” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: I hope your luck turns around, Bill, and even if it doesn’t, you’re always welcomed here at Theme Time Radio Hour, we’d like to remind you in the words of Roosevelt Sykes – “You Can't Be Lucky All the Time.”

[Roosevelt Sykes – “You Can't Be Lucky All the Time”]

Bob Dylan: That was Roosevelt Sykes, featuring Lee Allen on the tenor saxophone, recorded for the Imperial record label down in New Orleans, “You Can't Be Lucky All the Time.” Jean Cocteau once said: “We must believe in luck, for how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?” Truer words were never spoken, unless they were the ones spoken by Eddie Noack, a singer and a songwriter, originally from Houston, Texas, who recorded for the Starday record label. He wanted to be a journalist, (but we got) enough journalists but not enough people who could sing and write like Eddie Noack.

[Eddie Noack – “Take It Away, Lucky” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here he is, “Take It Away, Lucky.”

[Eddie Noack – “Take It Away, Lucky”]

Bob Dylan: “Take It Away, Lucky” by Eddie Noack. Eddie recorded a song called “Psycho” written by Leon Payne, a song about a serial killer, and quite understandably it newer got a lot airplay, but has become quite a bit of a cult favorite, as is Eddie Noack himself.

[unknown song in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: Here's another guy named Eddie, Eddie Jones. But he recorded under the name Guitar Slim. He's one of them wild blues guitar players who wore brightly colored suits and he would dye his hair blue or green or orange to match the suit. He traveled with a 300 and 50 foot guitar chord, so he could wander way out of a club while he was playing. Sometimes he would (rise) on his valet’s shoulders as he paraded through the club playing the guitar behind his head. As Buddy Guy said in his autobiography: “When I was him, I made my mind, I wanted to play like B.B. King, but act like Guitar Slim.” I think he plays pretty good. [unknown song in the background ends] Here he is, the flamboyant Guitar Slim.

[Guitar Slim – “Bad Luck Blues” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: “Bad Luck Blues.”

[Guitar Slim – “Bad Luck Blues”]

Bob Dylan: That was Guitar Slim, “Bad Luck Blues.”

[Guitar Slim – “The Things That I Used to Do” starts playing in the background]

Bob Dylan: Sam had a hard life, actually he made it hard for himself with his heavy drinking and womanizing, (importantly?) with a new female companion every night. Earl King had to perform as Guitar Slim when Guitar Slim was too drunk to play, (I?) remember that – he would drink a pint of gin and chase it down with a fifth of black port every day. He didn’t live long, but the record he made will be remembered forever. “The Things That I Used to Do” – his biggest hit – featured a young piano player named Ray Charles, as a matter of fact, if you listen closely to the record, you can hear Ray yell, probably, the first time his voice ever appeared on record.

[Guitar Slim – “The Things That I Used to Do” ends]

Bob Dylan: Here’s a woman whose father was a full blooded Iroquois Indian, and mother was of mixed Irish and Indian heritage. She was born in Dougherty, Oklahoma with the name Katherine Laverne Sta(r)ks. She changed her name to Kay Starr and became one of the biggest singers of the 50s. She had so many pop hits that people forget that she got her start as a solid jazz singer. No matter what you call it, it's just great singing.

[Kay Starr – “Wheel of Fortune” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here she is continuing our luck theme with the song “Wheel of Fortune.”

[Kay Starr – “Wheel of Fortune”]

Bob Dylan: That was Kay Starr –with “Wheel of Fortune.” You know, if you wanna see Kay sing that – she made a scopitone of that very song. Scopitones were early music videos, they never quite caught on, but each one of them is a surreal wonder. Look for scopitones and Kay Starr on YouTube. Google her. (laughs)

["The Phil Silvers Show" excerpt:“Good old Chester. And Chester suggested you go up to his suite for a little visit, old friend, by accident there was a card table and some cards, am I right?”“That’s right.”“And then he suggested a friendly little game of poker between old friends.”“That’s right.”“And you were very lucky! Oh, you won the first five hands, didn’t ya? And then bim-bam-boom before you knew it the five hundred dollars was gone, right? “This exactly the way it happened!” “Exactly the way it always happens! Oh Duane, how could you be such a fool?”“Oh sarge I’m such a fool!””Please, please! I can't stand to see a fat man cry.”]

Bob Dylan: People like to gamble, people hate to lose, and when they lose, they blame luck. The Stanley Brothers are no exception.

[The Stanley Brothers – “If I Lose” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here’s Ralph and Carter, from 19 and 58, on the King record label, the song called “If I lose.”

[The Stanley Brothers – “If I Lose”]

Bob Dylan: That was The Stanley Brothers with the song composed by Charlie Poole, “If I Loose.” [Charlie Poole?? – “If I Lose Let Me Loose”?? in the background] Charlie Poole who was considered one of the fathers of country music developed his unique three finger picking banjo style ‘cause of an injury to his hand from when on a drunker dare caught a fast pitched baseball barehanded, breaking several fingers that never probably healed, they were permanently curved towards his palm. Instead of bemoaning his bad luck he developed his unique banjo style that anticipated the more famous bluegrass style of Earl Scruggs. Some people would’ve given up after breaking their fingers, Charlie Pool didn’t, and he changed the face of country music. [Charlie Poole?? – “If I Lose Let Me Loose”?? in the background ends] The poet Robert Burns had a few words to say about fickle fortune, let me share them with you:“Tho' fickle Fortune has deceived me (She promis'd fair, (and) perform'd but ill), Of mistress, friends, and wealth bereaved me, Yet I bear a heart shall support me still.

I'll act with prudence as far as I'm able; But if success I must never find, Then come, Misfortune, I bid thee welcome –I'll meet thee with an undaunted mind!”

Bob Dylan: “Fickle Fortune,” Robert Burns, unlucky poet.

Bob Dylan: This next group started off their career called The Quails, but believe it or not, there was already another group called The Quails. Well, these guys changed theirs to The Orbits and made this record for the Chess record label. They recorded down in New Orleans, in Cosimo Matassa studio, that’s called “Mr. Hard Luck,” all about the chinches and the bedbugs.

[The Orbits – “Mr. Hard Luck”]

Bob Dylan: That’s The Orbits, “Mr. Hard Luck.” Sounds like Earl Palmer on the drums there, and if you wanna find the original Mr. Hard Luck, you may find him in the Bible, in the Book of Job.

[Willie Nelson – “I'm Looking over a Four-Leaf Clover” starts playing in the background]

Bob Dylan: Among one of the more popular good luck charms is a rabbit’s foot. Probably wasn’t that lucky for the rabbit. Another good luck charm is a horseshoe, (but) you gotta hang that with the (points) going upwards, so the good luck doesn’t pour out. Another good luck charm is a four-leaf clover. According to legend Eve carried a four-leaf clover out of the Garden of Eden. Another believe is, among the druids who believe the four-leave clover was a sign of luck, in 1620 Sir John Milton wrote: “If a man walking in the fields finds any four-leaved grass, he shall in a small while after find some good thing.” [Willie Nelson – “I'm Looking over a Four-Leaf Clover” in the background fades out]

Bob Dylan: Here’s Little Johnny Taylor, not to be confused with Johnny Taylor. Little Johnny Taylor came to Los Angeles in 1950, and like a lot of soul singers started off in a gospel group, singing with The Mighty Clouds of Joy, before crossing over secular.

[Little Johnny Taylor – “You Win, I Lose” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: Here’s the song from the early 60s, recorded for the Galaxy record label, “You Win, I Lose.” Here’s Little Johnny Taylor.

[Little Johnny Taylor – “You Win, I Lose”]

Bob Dylan: That was Little Johnny Taylor, “You Win, I Lose,” heads I win, tail you lose. [unknown song in the background starts] Gamblers believe that past events will affect future events, such a coin toss. This is not true, every time you toss a coin, it’s a 50/50 chance that it’ll come up heads or tails, no matter how many times would came one or the other immediately before. That’s how they build those big hotels in Las Vegas. [unknown song in the background ends]

[unknown song in the background starts]

Bob Dylan: While we’re on the subject of probability here are the odds of some events: the odds of injuring yourself shaving are 6585 to 1 the odds being struck by a lightning are 576000 to 1, but the odds of being killed by lightning are 2320000 to 1. How about that?

[unknown song in the background ends]

Bob Dylan: The Bakersfield sound is well represented by Buck Owens and Merle Haggard, but there's one other guy who sometimes gets ignored. His name is Wynn Stewart, and we want to shine the Theme Time spotlight on him right now. (applause) Here’s a song he recorded for the Challenge record label called “Three Cheers for the Loser.” An optimistic song for pessimistic bunch, Wynn Stewart.

[Wynn Stewart – “Three Cheers for the Losers”]

Bob Dylan: That was Wynn Stewart with “Three Cheers for the Losers.” Perhaps he was talking about William F.(sic! - ?) Bennett who blew an estimated 8 million dollars in slot machines and video poker. [casino sound effects in the background] Bennett was President Bush’s Drug Czar (???) illegal substance abusers for not confronting their own addictions. He denied that he risked his family security by saying: “I don’t play the milk money.” And he promised to quit gambling. 8 million dollars would’ve bought his family a whole lot of milk. [casino sound effects in the background fade out]

Bob Dylan: Everybody loves an underdog, and everybody feels bad for the loser. Wynn Stewart’s not the only one who sang a song about him.

[Frank Sinatra – “Here's to the Losers” starts playing]

Bob Dylan: The great Frank Sinatra, “Here’s to the Losers.” A toast to those who’ve lost all (they have?).

[Frank Sinatra – “Here's to the Losers”]

Bob Dylan: That was Old Blue Eyes, from the Reprise record label, “Here's to the Losers.” And it looks like our luck has just ran out, and time along with it. So if luck is on our side we’ll be back to same place, at the same time, next week on Theme Time Radio Hour. So cross your fingers, and we’ll see you then. Good luck to you!

[“Top Cat (underscore)”]

“Pierre Mancini”: You’ve been listening to Theme Time Radio Hour, with your host, Bob Dylan. Produced by Eddie Gorodetsky. Associate producer, Sonny Webster. Continuity by “Eeps” Martin. Edited by Damian Rodriguez. Supervising editor, Rob Macomber. The Theme Time research team: Diane Lapson and Bernie Bernstein, with additional research by Lynne Sheridan, Kimberly Williams, and Robert Bower. Production assistance by Jim McBean. Special thanks to Randy Ezratty, Debbie Sweeney, Coco Shinomiya, and Samson's Diner. For XM Radio, Lee Abrams. Recorded in Studio B, The Abernathy Building. Studio engineer: Tex Carbone. This has been a Grey Water Park Production in Association with Big Red Tree.

“Pierre Mancini”: This is your announcer, Pierre Mancini, speaking.

“Pierre Mancini”: Join us again next week for Theme Time Radio Hour, when the subject is, “Tears.”

Thanks much! "Lucky 7" - I don't know why, but I thought there are two different songs before Buddy and Ella Johnson. Well, now definitely sounds like one:) As for there rest, I'll check everything out and will try to figure out some other songs in the next few days - I hope luck is gonna be on our side)

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