Thursday, March 3, 2011

Hunger

I'm always hungry. Or I always long for something. For a grand and glorious life, let that be clear.

The last few days, that hunger is really present. That's partly because of the airplane food, which is actually not that bad, but which is rarely the vegetarian option that I chose when I booked my flight. So often, I have to give back half of the microwaved food in little plastic containers to the steward that just gave it to me. Or I share it with the person sitting next to me, if I need to be friends of them because of a lack of space. It's also partly because the trip from the airport to my new home was slightly difficult because of the huge suitcase I brought with me. I normally always try to travel as light as possible, which means a small backpack that can easily be lifted. This time, I thought I needed to bring more shoes, so it seems appropriate to bring a suitcase. Shoes. Because of shoes, I had to drag this heavy thing off the stairs at home, through the cobbled streets of Amsterdam. through train stations and airports and the New York subway, where it was impossible to go through the gates. Then, I had to walk several blocks more than expected, and at that time, my hands couldn't pull or push anything, let alone this heavy monster. So when I finally arrived in my new home, I collapsed and couldn't get my body up to eat something before falling in a deep sleep.

So in the morning, I was hungry. Unbelievable hungry.To the city, the people, food, coffee, stuff, experience, and a lot of grand and gloriousness. Luckily, this city is perfect if you're on a quest for all of this, and it will be the last one to tell you to stop. Contrary, it encourages you to consume. The Not For Tourist guidebook that I bought - to satisfy my hunger - is filled with restaurants, cafes, shops, theatres and film venues where one can spend ones money. I noticed quickly that after buying - in chronological order - bagels and tea for breakfast, a very sexy laptop, coffee and soup and beautiful books to write in, my hunger was still not satisfied. I hadn't had enough.

In a capitalistic world, it's normal to buy stuff to satisfy the hunger. And of course, I participate in that too. After spending money for a day, I want to use all the stuff that I just bought to satisfy that other hunger: for people, experiences. But I Know the hunger will last. Whatever happens.

Buddah sais that longing is the cause of suffering and can only be solved by accepting the reality for what it is. I will try to surrender to reality, hoping that the hunger will disappear over time. But I will also try to discover as many restaurants as possible in New York. A (wo)man gotta eat.