Saturday, March 31, 2007

One of the great enigmas in the roleplaying hobby is the commentator known as RPG Pundit. I first encountered him years ago as Nisarg, a snarky new member at RPGnet. From which he was banned. He's been banned from many other gaming forums as well. Eventually he found a venue for expressing his ideas, his blog. It's at that little corner of the internet where I first started to really get to know the man behind the mayhem. Later, when he took over theRPGsite the Pundit asked me to be one of the admins, a gig I continue with to this day.

To the extent that I appear on anyone's radar at all, I kinda assume that I am sometimes counted among the Pundit's Proxy Army. It was Nicole Lindroos a.k.a Nikchick first added the word "proxy" to the Pundit's vocabulary. Given the events of the time I suspect she was talking in particular about me and Pundit's buddy Jong. So despite publicly disagreeing with the man several times the idea that some folks think I drank the Kool-Aid wouldn't suprise me.

Still, I've managed to have a vantage point closer to Pundit than a lot of other people who have a strong negative opinion about him. He may only be an internet friend that I've never met face-to-face, but I feel pretty certain that I know the man behind the myth a helluva a lot better than his detractors. I think if everyone knew Pundit the way I do they would feel differently. They might still disagree with him, as I sometimes do, but they wouldn't be so hard on him. To that end I've composed a list of things I know about Pundit that you probably don't.

When RPG Pundit put on the One Ring, the Nazgul just said, "Fuck it."

The last man who made eye contact with RPG Pundit was Ray Charles.

RPG Pundit always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from RPG Pundit and forgot to pay him back.

Once a cobra bit RPG Pundit's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

RPG Pundit doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

RPG Pundit's body is composed of 95% recycled material, making him earth friendly and of benefit to society. To balance himself out, RPG Pundit sets fire to one national park per year.

RPG Pundit has the heart of a child. He keeps it in a small box.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for RPG Pundit.

RPG Pundit's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools RPG Pundit.

"Man, is there anything Jeff CAN'T do when it comes to gaming? This guy is like a critical 20 every roll. Jeff can bite the heads offa five game geeks, including their sorry-ass DM, and spit 'em into a large duffel bag ONE AT A TIME!...that's just the kind of messed up bastard he is! You think yer a gamer, punk? Well..do ya? Jeff will depants your weasel-ass right in front of your grandma."