Paris Hilton sleeps with monkeys

Ok, the title is a little misleading. She doesn’t actually sleep with monkeys. She sleeps with A monkey. It’s a baby monkey named Brigitte Bardot. In an interview Paris lies and says,

I don’t do that [have sex] unless I’m in a relationship. I’m old-fashioned when it comes to that. I really am!” Hilton told Australian Cosmopolitan. “Yes, I’ve kissed a lot of guys. I like to kiss, but that’s it. I don’t go home with anyone. I sleep with my animals, like my baby monkey, Brigitte Bardot.

Paris doesn’t stop there, she lies some more. When asked to describe herself this is what she had to say,

I’m blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I’m sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I’m nice – and I like to eat.

Bestiality jokes aside, Paris is neither sweet, shy nor funny. Manipulative, cruel and dumb maybe, but not those things. I can’t say for sure about the big heart since that’s more genetic stuff and I haven’t finished med school yet. Although, I’ve always thought animals could sense evil so shouldn’t that monkey be clawing at her face trying to get away? Ahh well, the mysteries of nature.