"We're not critics. We're professional fan-girls." --- This blog is dedicated to movies and the entertainment industry. We use random selection to bring into light the best and worst of Netflix and off various columns highlighting new movies as well.

Blurb from Netflix:
Eight gleefully grim short tales set on Halloween, Mother’s Day, St. Patrick’s
Day, and other holidays comprise this chilling horror anthology.

Selina’s Point of View:

Here’s the thing. I’m not quite sure how to rate this movie.
The first half of it was crap. It was reminiscent of the pointless nature of
the ABCs of Death (2012) which, well,
we all know I HATED. However, the second half of the film was awesome.

Weird… but awesome none-the-less.

I totally forgot that Kevin Smith (Tusk, Clerks, Yoga Hosers) directed a portion of this anthology film.
It was a pleasant surprise. I knew exactly which of the segments was his about
five seconds into it, however. He has a very specific writing style. His segment
definitely went for the gross shock factor and I enjoyed it more than I want
admit.

Smith did the Halloween segment. As much as I would like to
say his segment was the best simply because I love his stuff, it wasn’t. I
think that it was actually almost the worst of the best (which was still MUCH
better than the best of the worst).

I’m not sure how I’d line up the other three segments I
enjoyed, but they absolutely intrigued me.

Father’s Day, written and directed by Anthony Scott Burns (Manifold, Our House, Lost Boy), was
classic horror. Although many of the stories had some kind of dark humor
involved, this wasn’t one of them. Still, it definitely brought out the best of
the horror genre and I thought the acting was very believable. Whenever an
actor can pull off that single teardrop thing, I’m impressed.

The Christmas segment, written and directed by Scott Stewart
(Dominion, Dark Skies, Legion), was
also great. I was amused that Seth Green’s (Krampus,
Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H., Mars Needs Moms) real-life wife, Clare
Grant (Mega Shark vs. Kolossus, $5 Cover,
Black Snake Moan), played his on-screen wife in it. I know her mostly from
the Geek and Gamer Girls parody video
and The Guild. The couple’s chemistry
is undeniable, even in the case of this creepy story.

The New Year’s Eve segment, written by Kevin Kolsch (Starry Eyes, Absence, Identical Dead Sisters)
and Denis Widmyer (Starry Eyes, Absence,
Throwaway) – and directed by Adam Egypt Mortimer (Some Kind of Hate, Jerk All-Stars, Sequence Break), was the last of
the four parts of this film that I really rather enjoyed. It was on the predictable
side, but the dark comedy involved was just so… American Psycho (2000).

I think I’m going to give this film the benefit of rounding
up with my rating.

My reasoning is that films like this, whether good or bad,
help introduce people to new writers and directors. Not necessarily those that
are new to the business, but new to the audience. I didn’t enjoy the Valentine’s
Day, Easter, St. Patrick’s Day, or Mother’s Day segments, but other people
might. If they do, they could find out that they really love the work of the
writers or directors involved and unlock a whole other type of entertainment
for themselves.

For me, personally, I’ll be looking out for more projects
from Anthony Scott Burns and Scott Stewart. I might not like everything they’ve
done, but that’s still a whole list of shit to look out for.

I’ll usually recommend people watch and read anthologies.
This isn’t an exception.

Cat’s Point of View:

Horror anthologies are such a grab bag. This one was no
different. I’m still somewhat on the fence, really, with my overall impression.

Holidays featured
as the #15 spot on my Top 20 Movies to Look Out For in April 2016 list. I had
such high hopes for this film project; considering Kevin Smith (Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Red State, Cop
Out) was attached. Everything that man has a hand in is usually a sure bet.
Even when it’s ‘bad’ – it’s meant to be and it’s so over-the-top that it’s
brilliant. I don’t think that was the case here. This movie had to be the
exception to that rule.

As this anthology concluded, I didn’t feel quite as icky as
when watching prior review offerings dealing with the alphabet or video tapes.
Unfortunately, it was overall rather lackluster. I think they could have done
so much more with these 8 shorts films. That being said, not all of them were
awful. I guess I just didn’t get the ‘payoff’ I was expecting here.

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. The holidays that
received the spotlight here were all mainstream. There weren’t any random ones
that wouldn’t be recognized easily. Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter,
Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Halloween, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve all get to
go out for a spin here. I was wondering where Thanksgiving ran off to, really.

Parents – this collection of films definitely wasn’t for
kids.

I’m just going to toss it out right off the bat that I hated
the Easter segment. Not only did it make me feel uncomfortable, it was just…
ew. Maybe that was the point – but I don’t care. My favorite of the shorts was
Father’s Day. It left so many questions and yet gave an eerie story that felt
complete. I craved more of the story in a good way.

Runners-up based on satisfaction with their tales would be
Christmas and New Year’s Eve. They didn’t have any loose ends and conveyed
their story clearly. Christmas featured the real-life married couple of Seth
Green (Phineas and Ferb, The Identical,
Family Guy) and Clare Grant (Daylight
Fades, The Insomniac, Team Unicorn). I was really hoping that Green would
have been in Smith’s segment. Alas, this was not to be. Their performances were
solid, as usual, though.

I’d have to say that I’m still a bit on the fence with
Valentine’s Day, and St. Patrick’s Day.
The former was just a bit on the predictable side, even if it wasn’t
horrible. The latter was rather strange. I get where the St. Patrick’s Day bit
was going – even if they tried to put a spin on a 19th Century Norwegian
Folktale for a story based in Ireland. I guess with the amount of Norse
invaders the Emerald Isle got back in the day, it’s fitting enough. There’s
just such a treasure trove of scary and spooky Irish folklore that could have
been explored. Oh well.

Mother’s Day left me feeling a bit ‘meh.’ It was unsatisfying
and the ending felt rushed.

We finally come to Halloween. On the heels of that very
holiday, it seemed fitting that this movie should pop up. The fact that Smith
had this one should have made it the most epic of them all. Suddenly, in my
mind, I’m hearing that buzzer sound you get with a wrong answer on a gameshow.

I think Smith dropped the ball.

He addresses a real issue in the world today. It’s a topic
that probably should get more awareness. I don’t know that this was the
appropriate vehicle for it. While there’s some karma involved with the tale –
it wasn’t enough to balance out that this wasn’t the kind of ‘horror’ expected.
I was just disappointed. It just didn’t tie in to the holiday it was supposed
to represent well enough.

I probably will never watch this anthology again, and would
generally only recommend it as a means to being able to share my sentiments of:
‘what the fuck?’

Obviously, this isn’t really eligible for the Top 20 because
it’s not a movie. Gilmore Girls: A Year
in the Life is actually a 4 episode mini-series. However, we’re making an
exception and giving it an honorable mention because, let’s face it, the
majority of us are gonna binge-watch it like a movie anyway, aren’t we?

I know I will.

I absolutely adore the Gilmore
Girls (2000-2007) series. I didn’t watch it when it was on, but I found it
on Netflix and wound up watching the entire series in something like two or
three weeks. I was absolutely enthralled by it. I didn’t really appreciate the
last season, or the ending, so I practically flipped when I heard Netflix was
working to give Gilmore fans the ending we truly deserve.

I have been following the news of this miniseries since.

Personally, I’m team Jess. Naturally, that meant I was
ecstatic when I saw that Milo Ventimiglia (This
is Us, That’s My Boy, Wolverine) would be returning. Of course, seeing
Jared Padalecki (Supernatural, Friday the
13th, House of Wax)reprise his
role as Dean is also gonna be a treat. Logan… well… I never liked him, but Matt
Czuchry (The Good Wife, I Hope They Serve
Beer in Hell, Eight Legged Freak) is gonna be back too. I have a feeling
that if Rory winds up with anyone, it’ll be Logan…. but I’ll be hoping for Jess
anyway.

Hey, who knows? Dawson’s
Creek (1998-2003) went in an unexpected direction in the end. Maybe this
will too.

Whatever happens, I cannot wait to see Lauren Graham (Joshy, Parenthood, Bad Santa), Alexis
Bledel (Jenny’s Wedding, Girl Walks into
a Bar, Sin City), Scott Patterson (Boys
of Abu Ghraib, The Event, Little Big League), and Kelly Bishop (Bunheads, Friends with Kids, Dirty Dancing)
play off each other again. It won’t be quite the same without the late Edward
Herrmann (The Good Wife, Heaven’s Door,
Wonder Woman)… but the trailer shows that they seem to honor him well in
the storyline.

I’m so excited, I can’t even properly convey it in writing.

Just under a month to wait!

20 – Street Level
(11/8)

Tag Line: Two
kinds of people in the street... the ones walking on it, and the ones living in
it. Who are you?

I’ll admit, the trailer for this film isn’t the best.
However, take a gander at the cast for a moment. Just look over it for a few
minutes. Does anything stand out to you? No? You might need to hit up IMDB to
really get it…

The majority of the actors in this film are from Sons of Anarchy (2008-2014).

Although the plot doesn’t look too bad, the whole reason
I’ve got interest in this film at all, is because of the cast. I was a big fan
of Sons of Anarchy, and I miss
watching the actors kick some ass every week. I mean, my favorite Sons of Anarchy actor isn’t involved in
this – that actor is Theo Rossi (Luke
Cage, When the Bough Breaks, Kill Theory) – but still.

Movies like this tend to be better than people expect them
to be. Mainly because it’s usually about a bunch of friends coming together and
just having fun with a random project. Whenever professionals have fun with
what they’re doing, especially in the entertainment world, it comes out in what
they do and turns something that could have been mediocre into something
spectacularly rewarding to watch.

At the worst, this movie will offer some nostalgic action to
a group of fans that miss one of their favorite shows. To me, that means it’s
worth a watch.

I grew up watching the Legend
of the Hidden Temple (1993-1995) television show. For those of you too
young to know what the fuck I’m talking about… hold on, let me face palm.

Ok, for those of you that don’t know, the show was an
adventure-based game show for kids and it was AWESOME.

I heard this film was coming out a while ago. At that time I
thought that it would be the kind of film that comes out in theaters and become
a big deal. Like Goosebumps (2015). I
was surprised to find out it was going to be a TV movie.

That was unfortunate.

Even with all the not-so-pleasant surprises, I still want to
see it.

Side note, I’m kind of impressed that they got the original
host, Kirk Fogg (Distortion, Yeah Vous!,
Alien Space Avenger), and the original announcer, Dee Bradley Baker (American Dad, Miles from Tomorrowland, Ultimate
Spider-Man), to appear.

I don’t have an overwhelming interest in any of the cast in
this film. I mean, Heather Graham (Call
of Duty: Black Ops III, Horns, About Cherry) is a decent actress and all, I
just don’t have any intense need to follow her movies.

The reason this film makes the list is because I was
fascinated by the plot. The idea that someone could be close to someone else,
even dating them, and yet not really know them until death? It’s incredibly
morbid, but in an interesting way.

The trailer didn’t quite make it look as interesting as it
could be… but I’m hoping the movie will make up for it.

Michael Fassbender (Assassin’s
Creed, Steve Jobs, 12 Years a Slave) and Brendan Gleeson (In the Heart of the Sea, Stonehearst Asylum,
Edge of Tomorrow) as absolutely flawless as actors. I’m so incredibly
excited to see them in ANYTHING together.

I’ll be honest, I have only a mild interest in the plot. It
doesn’t look HORRIBLE, but it would never be anywhere near my first choice for
a film to watch. I’m seriously only interested enough to put it on the list
because I imagine that Fassbender and Gleeson together will be fucking MAGICAL.

This trailer was part amusing, part terrifying. I really
enjoy that kind of genre mix.

The idea of a girlfriend or boyfriend being hated by their
significant other’s family is not a new concept. Every year there’s at least
one movie that touches on it. What makes this film different is that thread of
horror running through it. It’s difficult to tell how it’ll wind up.

Oh, it’s clear someone is going to die, but who? The
girlfriend? The guy? The sister? The grandma? It could be anyone – or everyone
for that matter.

I like not knowing what’s coming. And that’s becoming a rare
occurrence.

I have been waiting for so long to see Nicolas Cage (The Trust, Outcast, Left Behind) take on
a part like this. I don’t know about that whole ‘based on a true story’ shit,
but either way, this film looks hilarious.

I’m excited to see Richard Madden (Cinderella, Lady Chatterley’s Lover, A Promise) in something other
than… well… Game of Thrones. If I
have seen him in other stuff, I don’t remember it. Add to his existence the
kick-ass action plot and the phenomenal Idris Elba (Luther, Finding Dory, Zootopia), and there’s a hell of a lot of
awesome in this film.

To the best of my knowledge this film is only called The Take in the United States. Everywhere else it goes by Bastille Day.

This is a very typical kid-gone-bad paranormal plot. So it
seems, anyway. The big difference is the existence of the catatonic son of the
main character. I feel like there’s going to be a decent twist because of that –
one that makes this film really worth watching.

I really kind of hate that John Travolta (I Am Wrath, The Forger, Killing Season)
looks less like himself than ever, but he’s still a great actor. One of my
favorite actors, however, is Devon Sawa (Punk’s
Dead: SLC Punk 2, Nikita, The Philly Kid). I was SO excited to see him in
this film alongside a Hollywood great. He’s got the acting chops needed to keep
up.

The film itself looks a little like an Unstoppable (2010) kind of film. I really enjoyed that movie and I
think, based on the plot and the cast of this one, I’ll wind up enjoying Life on the Line as well.

Yes, this movie looks good. Yes, the actors look incredibly
invested in their parts. Yes, the writing seems to elevate the storyline. All
of that is why Loving was added to
this list, but that’s not why it’s so high on it.

This film is as high as it is because it’s important.

Racial tensions are incredibly high right now.

We’re not in the fucking 1950s, why are we suddenly at each
other’s throats over skin color again? It’s a grand old bag of dicks that
doesn’t need to exist. This film serves to remind people of what was and what
we don’t want life to become again.

Don’t get me wrong, I have my hatefully bitter moments, but
none of those moments will ever be over someone’s race, religion, sexuality,
gender, or beliefs. Well. Maybe beliefs. I have an issue with the cult of
scientology. But hey, if you like it, good for you. Enjoy yourself. Keep it
away from me.

You don’t have to love everybody. That’s unrealistic. Just
don’t hate people for stupid fucking reasons.

I’ll be the first to admit this film doesn’t look all that creative.
It looks like a more serious version of Mr.
and Mrs. Smith (2007) set in the era of World War II. That being said, I
cannot help being intrigued by the story.

I come from a Jewish family. Although I don’t practice the
religion, that doesn’t change my heritage. As a result, I grew up learning
about the holocaust. I’m not a history buff in even the most liberal sense of
the term, but I’ve read almost everything I can about World War II and the
atrocities committed. Why? Because forgetting them dooms us to repeat our
mistakes in the future.

I doubt the historical value of this film is all too
realistic… but still.

If you’re here looking for comment on the personal lives of
the actors in this film, go elsewhere. We’re not a tabloid site and never will
be. Thanks.

That was the word that came to mind when I watched this
trailer and saw the name of the film. The emo embarrassment of not having the
impulse control we need to not fuck up our lives, was a very familiar feeling
for me as a teenager. I did stupid shit constantly – only some of the time on
purpose – and I was super emo about it. My best friend has known me for about two
decades. He could tell you just how bad I got at times better than anyone,
except maybe my mom.

For those reasons alone I’d want to see this film. But then
you add a sassy Woody Harrelson (True
Detective, Now You See Me, The Hunger Games) to the mix and the desire to
maybe even see it in theaters is added.

I don’t know exactly how much of this is a true story and
how much of it has been embellished for entertainment purposes, but I don’t
really care. The plot is fascinating and the cast is awesome. I don’t even care
that the nutty Mel Gibson (Apocalypto, The
Passion of the Christ, The Man Without a Face) is directing it. The idea of
fighting a war with no weapons is really interesting.

Before I start, I know there’s been some outrage over an
error in the poster that put part of the Shanghai skyline into the Hong Kong
skyline. Geography is sooo not my thing, but I THINK I managed to find the
corrected poster. If not, understand that the slight was not intentional.

That being said, this film looks like an amazing alien-based
film with a great cast. Above issue aside, I can’t wait to see it.

5 – Officer Downe
(11/18)

Tag Line: Protecting.
Serving. Ass kicking.

Production Company:
Blackmrkt, Living Out Loud Films, Man of Action, Traverse Media

I’m going to save you the fangirling moment about the cast.
Maybe. Kind of.

Ok, no, I have to say something.

I have already said in the past that I would follow Anna
Kendrick (The Accountant, Get a Job, Into
the Woods) to any film she ever does. I meant it. Zooey Deschanel (New Girl, Rock the Kasbah, 500 Days of
Summer) is also absolutely adorable and is perfect for this kind of cutesy
film. Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Get a
Job, Kick-Ass, This is the End) tends to be type-cast but that’s because he’s
just so great at that particular type. John Cleese (Mini Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, Planes, The Big Year)… well… I’m
a Monty Python (1969-2014) fan so, ‘nuff
said. And, you know what? All you people who know James Corden (The Wrong Mans, The Lady in the Van, Into
the Woods) only as the host of The
Late Late Show (2015-), well, he’ll always be Craig Owens, the dad of
Stormageddon – Dark Lord of All to me.

You take that intensely amazing cast and put it together
with the nostalgia and innocence invested in Trolls and there’s no way to not have a hit.

2 – Fantastic
Beasts and Where to Find Them (11/18)

Tag Line: J.K.
Rowling invites you to a new era of the wizarding world.

I’m a HUGE Harry
Potter (2001-2011) fan – both the movies (except for the third one) and the
books. I was thrilled to hear this film was coming out and I cannot wait to see
it. I’m also incredibly happy to see that the ONLY writer credited for this
film, is the great J.K. Rowling (A Very
Potter Musical, The Battle of Hogwarts, The Casual Vacancy) herself. On top
of that, David Yates (State of Play, The
Tichborne Claimant, The Way We Live Now) will be directing. He did the last
four Harry Potter films, and I really
enjoyed all of those.

The cast is more than just decent and going back into the
wizarding world – even though it’ll be in the United States instead of England –
is something I just can’t wait to do.

I always thought Fantastic
Beasts and Where to Find Them would wind up in the number one slot of my
Top 20 when it finally came out. And, it would have… except I’ve been waiting
on Doctor Strange more than I could
ever wait for another Harry Potter
film.

I don’t care about the cast (though it looks good enough). I’m
so much more interested in the plot and the actual character that is Doctor
Strange. I already have tickets to the midnight showing opening day. Reserved
seats and everything.