I had my check up with the gynecologist today and it looks like everything is fine so far with the Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) preparation. I can carry on with the treatments as foreseen. That’s a relief since I’m always scared that I may need to cancel a cycle for one reason or the other.

The date for the transfer is set for Monday 30th September, that’s a week from today! Yuppy! The gynecologist seemed rather positive about it. She says a FET is good because the body is less messed up than after IVF, since the treatment is much lighter. I don’t know if her optimism matters much to me since she was very positive about the last IVF too. But then, of course this is good and it makes me hope a bit more.

This weekend I found myself daydreaming about this FET working. I always do this: not only do I hope but I also create expectations, and those are the worst. I feel up my head with very dangerous thoughts like the possible due date, how we may change Christmas plans, how I would miss certain things at work next year, how happy I would be, how cool it would be to finally give some good news, etc. You would think that by now I would have learnt I shouldn’t let my mind wonder that way, but nope, I still make the same mistakes…

I had to see a counsellor prior to IVF and at the end of our session she told me I was optimistic and hopeful. I had never thought of myself that way but now I do see it so I’m glad she told me that. You’re optimistic and hopeful too. Having had my share of reasons not to be I’m glad it always comes back because I’d rather be this way than pessimistic and full of dread.

So exciting! And try not to beat yourself up for hoping… I’m convinced that sad things hurt equally bad whether you let yourself hope or not. At least this way you have something to be happy about for the next couple weeks…hopefully a lot longer!

We must let ourselves dream. Expectations are what keep us going.
During our last IVF cycle, my husband and I were so excited when the doctor told us the egg retrieval could be done soon and that he just had to check my level of estradiol before giving me the time for the hCG injection. We even celebrated the fact that we would finally go through this step, which was not the case the previous time, and went to the restaurant for lunch. During the afternoon, I was daydreaming about my future embryo. When I learned that there would be no egg retrieval, I was so sad and regretted I had been so optimistic before. However, I know I will not be able to help myself the next time and will have again lots of expectations.
I’ll be thinking of you next Monday! 🙂