Teeny Wiener Dogs Ruled Most Noisy in Entire City

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Elizabeth and Emily (one of which is pictured at left, though it’s unclear which) are two noisy miniature dachshunds. Yes, yes, all miniature dachshunds are noisy. But these two are so loud, so persistent in their barking that they are officially the most obnoxious pups in the entire city. Their owner, Ruth O’Sullivan, has been issued two animal-noise violations for the racket emanating from her Upper East Side apartment — in a year where no other person received more than one such citation. Their barking marathons made neighbors “miserable” for an entire year, and ended with her paying $245 in fines. Ever wonder what constitutes a fineable offense when it comes to pet noises? Here are the rules, according to the Daily News:

Between 7 a.m. and 10 p.m., animals are not permitted to make unreasonable noise for longer than 10 minutes, city rules state. Between 10 p.m. and 7 a.m., animals can yap for only five minutes without their owners risking a summons.

There are actually dogs who bark for less than five minutes a night? What city is everyone else living in? And can we movethere?