The Jaffe Briefing - September 3, 2019

By JAFFE COMMUNICATIONS

September 3, 2019 at 11:42 AM

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Credits: File photo

By JAFFE COMMUNICATIONS

September 3, 2019 at 11:42 AM

DOWN THE SHORE – Still enjoying that summer place in Lavallette, Long Branch or maybe LBI? Well, get out while you can. You can probably still find an unwitting buyer who hasn’t perused the latest issue of Science Magazine, with a study that says your waterfront get-away will ultimately be swimming with the fishes. A pair of Harvard and Stanford University scientists say shore dwellers “must move out of harm’s way” to escape rising sea levels. They say New Jersey is blowing millions of dollars fixing beach erosion and building better dunes, and it will all be for naught. Silver lining: Freehold’s downtown could really use an oceanfront.

TRENTON - The state is concocting a new model of funding solar projects, and some solar developers — in particular the ones who install residential systems — are getting hot under the collar. It’s easy to understand why. The penny-pinching people at the Board of Public Utilities want subsidies of between $10 and $30, down from today’s typical $230. But if solar credits are rolled back to that point, installers argue investors are not going to put their money in new projects. Some suggest they’ll take that money to neighboring states, effectively decimating the Garden State’s solar sector. It’s a serious issue for Gov. Phil Murphy & Co. About 45 percent of solar employment in the state comes from single-family deployments. If solar flees the state, Murphy doesn’t have a chance of making his 2050 goal of 100 percent clean energy, NJ Spotlight reports. Coal, anyone?

BACK TO SCHOOL – Notebooks? Check. No. 2 pencils? Got’ em. Bulletproof backpacks? Wait … what? As if your seventh grader’s math books aren’t heavy enough, now some New Jersey retailers are peddling bulletproof bookbags to panicky parents. The pitch is simple: Active shooters make it mandatory to buy these must-have school supplies. Backpacks, offered in fun neon and pastel kiddie colors, weigh about three pounds and go for $120. The deluxe ones will run you $300 and might repel a direct hit from a North Korean missile. Stores are also selling orange duck-&-cover ballistic blankets conveniently sized to fit in school lockers. We get it: Decent parents want their kids safe. And nothing says true love like armored bike helmets and Kevlar rompers, says retailers.

HARRINGTON PARK – And speaking of bulletproof, this is now New Jersey’s first school district to replace its classroom doors with bulletproof ones. At $2,500 a pop, this small Bergen County district is using its emergency funds to install 50 doors in its only K-8 school. The 150-pound steel doors have bullet-resistant windows and, locked from the inside, engage a dozen steel bars making them impregnable from the hallways. Superintendent Adam Fried tells ABC News “we're starting to add more militarization … to create a safe environment for learning.” Next on the district’s to-do list: Replacing all of the school’s outside doors. And, if the budget allows, a moat.

PATERSON – Good lawyers don’t come cheap, but taxpayers here have some good relief from City Hall’s legal expenses. The city cut its fees to outside law firms by 14 percent, shelling out a modest $1.45 million during Mayor Andre Sayegh’s first year. They chalk up the decrease to a frugal law director Sayegh hired. That director quit, after just a year, to seek a better-paying job with the city’s school district. So Sayegh replaced her with an attorney who the Paterson Times says got a state reprimand for misconduct in 2018, admitting to four ethics violations. Oh, well. No one is perfect. City officials insist the new law director will do just fine overseeing 27 outside law firms that handle a mountain of lawsuits, worker's comp cases and contract negotiations, as well as supervising whatever 12 in-house city lawyers do. Good to know lawyers are cheaper by the dozen.

WEST ORANGE – Is there too much recreation at the South Mountain Recreation Complex? Not at the moment, but NJ.com reports that local residents aren’t pleased that an acre is being taken from the adjacent, 2,000-acre reservation to expand the Turtle Back Zoo for an $8 million amphitheater, lights and video screens. The zoo, as many remember, was an itty-bitty operation that now just seems to grow and grow. And so does the entire complex, with ice skating, mini-golf, a waterfront, a restaurant and a bunch of other cool stuff. Essex County’s transformation of the site has been amazing; but local residents want to know: When is it enough?

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

ABERYSTWYTH, WALES – You can drive with a Christmas tree on top of your car. Or maybe a kayak. But local police say you can’t drive with a car… on top of your car. A 51-year-old Wales man now tells the court that it may have not been the brightest thing he has ever done, caught on video driving his Volkswagen Passat with a beat-up Skoda Octavia strapped to its roof. He explained that he was only driving the car, on the car, for about 1,000 feet in an industrial area, but the magistrate still figured such a bonehead move could injure someone. The stupidity cost a $97 fine and $140 in court costs.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1994 that the Cleveland Browns were the first professional team to score a two-point conversion, and then they likely didn’t score for the rest of the season.

WORD OF THE DAY

Coeval – [koh-EE-vəl] – adjective

Definition: Of the same or equal age

Example: Hey! My whiskey is coeval with yours!

WIT OF THE DAY

“Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.”

- Otto von Bismarck

WEATHER IN A WORD

Soothing

THE NEW 60A Jaffe Briefing ExclusiveBy Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun

Editor's Note: Jaffe Communications is the franchisee/publisher of TAPinto New Brunswick.

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

STATEWIDE – An alleged shortage of White Claw hard seltzer could mean one of two things: Either the company’s complete misunderstanding of supply v. demand, or one of the most coordinated schemes of marketing genius ever seen. With a “shortage” of this tasteless, yet strangely popular, alcoholic drink, timed perfectly at the end of this “White Claw Summer” – when many of us booze bags ...

STATEWIDE – An alleged shortage of White Claw hard seltzer could mean one of two things: Either the ...

DEPTFORD – It’s all good in Jersey this morning. That’s because we are now home to the largest amount of corn cobs on a single plant. It’s true! The Courier Post reports a local retiree has shattered a Guinness world record. It began when he noticed a particularly spry cornstalk over the summer, with 12, then 13, and then 14 cobs steadily growing. The final tally was a jaw-dropping 29 cobs, ...

DEPTFORD – It’s all good in Jersey this morning. That’s because we are now home to the largest ...

MILFORD – Crazy New Jerseyans are always in the news. Like in Westerly, RI., where a 26-year-old guy from Milford broke into Taylor Swift’s waterfront home to kick off the Labor Day weekend. He made sure to take his shoes off, as he told police he wanted “to be polite” as he ruffled around the megastar’s private enclave, The Westerly Sun reports. The New Jerseyan hopped the fence and somehow got ...

MILFORD – Crazy New Jerseyans are always in the news. Like in Westerly, RI., where a 26-year-old ...

STATEWIDE – It is Back to School, and for many kids, it is the sad return to the hallways, locker rooms and lunch tables, all bastions for bullying. And it’s no longer just about an ill-timed wedgie. Cyber-bullying follows students home and continues every waking hour that he or she looks at Instagram, Snapchat and any other social media app that alienates. We offer a special, Back to School ...

STATEWIDE – It is Back to School, and for many kids, it is the sad return to the hallways, locker ...

The Jaffe Briefing will be on vacation Monday, August 26, returning Tuesday, Sept. 3

NEWARK – City officials to downtown businesses: Stay away Monday. That’s the blunt message, as the city scrambles to host MTV’s Video Music Awards on Monday night at the Prudential Center. This is an unbelievable opportunity to show that the Brick City can accommodate a national spectacle, just like that other ...

The Jaffe Briefing will be on vacation Monday, August 26, returning Tuesday, Sept. 3

The Jaffe Briefing will be on vacation Monday, August 26, returning Tuesday, Sept. 3

JERSEY CITY – You live here, and you just want to get some sleep. But the city is home to a growing number of Airbnb homes; the ideal place for penny-pinching tourists eager to flee the NYC hotel rates. The Record reports that Airbnb has hijacked many local neighborhoods, with tourists shining flashlights into ...

The Jaffe Briefing will be on vacation Monday, August 26, returning Tuesday, Sept. 3

COLTS NECK – First, a word from America’s lousiest tipper. You may recall how state Sen. Declan O’Scanlon went on social media to out a customer at a Colts Neck restaurant who tipped only 74 cents on a $119 tab. Now, the tipper is telling the Asbury Park Press that he would have tipped even less, if that is possible. Even just a penny! And why? The guy complains that it took up to 15 minutes ...

COLTS NECK – First, a word from America’s lousiest tipper. You may recall how state Sen. Declan ...

DOWN THE SHORE – The New York Times has this all-too-common move when it comes to its aloof coverage of New Jersey. It swoops in on an over-reported trend story, and writes it like it is the first time any of us heard about such “news.” Apparently, nothing happens officially in New Jersey until The New York Times deems it so. Anyway, why this rant? The newspaper of record reported this weekend ...

DOWN THE SHORE – The New York Times has this all-too-common move when it comes to its aloof ...

CHERRY HILL – Hard to tell when tuna fish became so darn punitive, but that may be the punishment for local students who run a debt in the cafeteria. The Philly Inquirer reports the school district wants to crack down on deadbeats. If a kid amasses a $10 debt, he or she gets slapped with a tuna fish sandwich for lunch. If the bill grows to $20, the kid goes hungry. School officials have announced ...

CHERRY HILL – Hard to tell when tuna fish became so darn punitive, but that may be the punishment ...

NEWARK – KISS came to Newark last night; our curious writers were there. Some takeaways: Fun, cheesy, loud and a real throwback to another era. KISS gives exactly what you expect: 1970s-era pyrotechnics, outrageous outfits, blood, and long solos to remind everyone they are real musicians. Some startling notes for the KISS Army: Paul Stanley still looks super cool, but must stop speaking. He ...