Sounds like you have some experience pbchrist. I'm keen to chase some tail, pretty poor at it but getting better.

Think I'm experiencing a clash between the old...

co-dependance, feeling like life is 'complete' with a partner, feeling excited about the possibility of appearing 'normal' to family and friends, trying to appear cool, calm and collected, overemphasizing my job, lying, feeling responsible for the other persons emotions, being a doormat etc.

With the new....

Building a life that I want to lead, viewing a partner as a compliment to my life, not a requirement/foundation, not being afraid to say what I want, being prepared to take the lead, being confident in my career, interests and health, not playing the victim, being a good 'ender', seeing a woman as the icing on the cake, not the cake.

Date went quite well. Undecided but would like to see her again, ideally in a fun setting as it felt a touch 'interview-y'. I'm really keen to setup an activity for something I'd be interested in whether you are with a date or not. Like skating, a museam, the zoo etc.

Really like that there are some boundaries in place. I was reasonably quick to arrange the first date. Outside of that we haven't been texting. Simply said I'd contact her after new years. No facebook. Whilst these measures seem right for me, at some point I'm going to need to conquer my fear of intimacy.

No idea what I want from a woman. I guess that will come with time. I do know that I get on well with girls who have razor shap wit and can give and take in equal measure. Guess that is a good starting point....