1 - with an exacto knife while opening an envelope
2 - by getting mad at a first-person shooter game and throwing the controller hard and hitting the kid in the face resulting in his demise
3 - by peeing in your sleep in the baby bed drowning the kid
4 - by getting drunk and passing out on top of the child
5 - by listening to heavy metal and getting too into it, headbanging your child to death and not realizing it

3.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZZtigerZZ81

1. First time I made out with my wife
2. First Home run in baseball (happened to be off of a pitch my ultra competitive cousin threw to me...who went on to play college ball and be way better then me)
3. First time I got a hat trick in soccer
4. First time I knocked out a guy (also in soccer...****er should have stopped diving, I told him not to)
5. Getting married

4.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xeberus

1. Why are you such a dumb ****?

2. Ever wonder what life would be like if you had enough oxygen at birth?

3. If I throw a stick, will you go away?

4. You are so ugly the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper.

5. Your wife is like a brick; flat on both sides, dirty, and gets layed by Mexicans. (no racist)

5.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WouldLuv2FightU

1) Cuz I said so
2) Cuz this thread is sponsored by Chuck Norris
3) Cuz it's the cool thing to do
4) Cuz everytime you do, an angel gets its wings
5) Cuz if you don't, that little girl who died on her girl scout trip 25 years ago to this day will haunt you and bring you bad luck forever, so please forward this thread to at least 10 people and tomorrow someone you like will tell you that they have a crush on you.

1 By being a big meanie
2 Post very distracting porn
3 Stop me from posting - his heart will break and he won't be able to bring himself to post
4 Now I'm thinking about porn
5 If he likes babies maybe he likes pregnant women porn, personally pregnant woman is like cyanide for my boner