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I love the words the LORD gives me through the battles I have with my inner self. This one recently when I struggled with a certain person who chose a different way to me, seemingly against me:

Make it your resolve to be friends with everyone as far as it depends on you. People make choices based on their experiences. Everyone can be understood when we look at them from their viewpoint. Hurt is also easily understood. What hurts one would hurt most. We have more in common than we think. Friendship is the most valuable gift we can give anyone.

This, the wisdom of God was intended for me, in my situation of hurt; to reconcile that hurt to God in order that the friendship I could have with this person could be accomplished in Jesus’ name, in the Holy Spirit’s power, by the authority of the Father.

This is a fine word in the order of life.

I can say this, and it can be true, due to one thing: the spiritual life is all about relationships.

When we comprehend that life begins and has its middle and ends with the material of our relationships, and we do everything we can to abide by this truth, life never gets better; never ever.

Life is all about friendship.

Friendship makes life go well when there is little to complain about, but, perhaps more importantly, friendship is the thing that pushes us to obey God in humility by repentance when people have hurt us. People hurt us. We hurt them. None of us is insulated from either reality. We bear the potential of hurt every single conscious moment. It is up to us to fortify ourselves in order that we wouldn’t hurt or be hurt.

Only God gives us the power to love when we would prefer to hate.

Only the matter of grace can help us; grace for ourselves in our hurt space to defy the humiliation of returning to God and grace for the other to love them when our heart of hearts determines they don’t deserve it. Grace helps when we are wrong, even though we feel right.

Everyone deserves to be loved, whether we see it or not.

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Living the spiritual life within the realm of wholeness requires us to deal with everybody as if they are a friend. Everyone has a reason for who they are and what they’ve become. Rather than judge anyone we best love them as simply and as properly as we can. Then we are both blessed. Then God is glorified in our being and in their presence.

Steve Wickham is a Baptist Pastor who holds Degrees in Science, Divinity, and Counselling.