This is an odd moment for me as the last time I had a draft that was finished was when 2699 was getting critiqued. It's been a long ass time but I have a draft that is near completion.

The draft isn't completely done yet, the addendum could use work and I'm still not too sure I like the cross linking on the draft, it also needs the main picture redone but I feel it's very nearly there.

If you'd like to give it a review please find it here under the tab 'Miniature Task Force':

Really cool idea. I think it might benefit from some more logs from the SCP itself. The end note is a bit sudden and it's hard to sympathise with Stuart (is that a pun?) when we never heard anything from him before.

You'll note that there are very few comments in 'line-by-line', because there's very little I can comment on. You can really tell you're experienced. Good job!

You may have some naysayers about the crosslink to 682 but I personally feel it's appropriate here. One thing though: If we know that they can't understand us because the pitch is too low, why don't we attempt to communicate with them using a recording that is sped up?

As for the little fucking guns, it was more cause everything is giant compared to them, they don't really know they've been shrunk down, they think they've been sent somewhere where everything is giant.

I did actually have an exploration log I was planning but removed cause I felt it was unnecessary. Would it benefit having that in or just more logs like the letter or something else?

On why they haven't tried speaking back via that method, in my head it's because they MTF attack on sight so they don't even get the chance to but thinking about it there's ways they could get around that. I'll think of something, they can't contact via radio either way as the MTF cut off contact.

Also Stuart Little is a reference as are all the names at the end. This is likely temporary as it breaks immersion too much but I thought it was funny to have while writing this.

Thanks for the critique though, good to know it's not far off completion :D

''MTF-Lambda-9: Task Force Control we are about 10 miles out from [REDACTED]. ETA is [REDACTED]. Over.''

I did actually have an exploration log I was planning but removed cause I felt it was unnecessary. Would it benefit having that in or just more logs like the letter or something else?

Exploration of what? From their perspective? Yes, but use it to introduce us to the characters a little. I think you understood that already though.

On why they haven't tried speaking back via that method, in my head it's because they MTF attack on sight so they don't even get the chance to but thinking about it there's ways they could get around that. I'll think of something, they can't contact via radio either way as the MTF cut off contact.

Ah yes. I recommend mentioning something like that; someone else is bound to think that would be a way of communication and call it a plothole.

For anyone new, this is why critiquing is useful because people pick up when you use miles cause your country half uses the metric system and half uses imperial measurements for some silly reason.

I was going to sort of do both, an exploration log of the house via unmanned drown on the Foundations side and a journal on the MTF's side. I cut both cause they felt unnecessary but I can try and have another go at them. The main problem was they were very wordy and a bit boring but if I trim them a bit they could work.

For anyone new, this is why critiquing is useful because people pick up when you use miles cause your country half uses the metric system and half uses imperial measurements for some silly reason.

Really? That doesn't sound practical in the slightest.

The exploration on the house doesn't seem very interesting, but the journal sounds like a good way to provide introduction to their subjective experience. It doesn't need to be long, just long enough to make the apocalyptic log feel meaningful.

Any instances seen outside of Site-1394 are to be contained or if containment fails, destroyed.

This sentence kinda reads awkwardly to me. How about this:

Any instances seen outside of Site-1394 are to be contained. If containment fails, they are to be destroyed instead.

FOU182:/001_SCP/Euclid/Logs/XXXX/Incident-XXXX-A

This "interview" confuses me. Earlier in the article it said that they can only be heard as high pitched squeaking without slowing down their voices first, yet they're talking in real time and the scientist can hear them just fine.

0582 turns to face the Blackbird as the Blackbird flies towards 0582. 0582 discharges it's main gun at the Blackbird, killing it.

1) There is one too many blackbirds in the middle of the sentence, it reads pretty awkwardly.

2) "discharges it's main" should be "discharges its main"

Sergeant Little

Nothing inherently wrong, just seemed kinda too on the nose for me.

Concept: Overall, I really liked it! And agreeing with Leveritas that I think the 682 crosslink fits here. I also liked the inclusion of 1056 as well.

Just a quick nitpick though: Why does the MTF immediately think that the "giants" made them shrink on purpose? Do they remember that they were using an anomaly that shrinks and grows things, and were using to shrink an anomaly known to adapting to anomalies? It should seem that they would be smart enough to connect the puzzle pieces on that, and be less agressive to the Foundation.

This "interview" confuses me. Earlier in the article it said that they can only be heard as high pitched squeaking without slowing down their voices first, yet they're talking in real time and the scientist can hear them just fine.

The idea was supposed to be that it's a transcript after the recording was done as neither could understand each other and this was done in the early days of this SCP so it wasn't fully understood. You have however brought to my attention that control initially says they copy. I might change it so that the MTF has been repeatedly asking for control and then control analysed it and responded. At this point it wasn't known that SCP-XXXX couldn't understand control either.

It should be spelled Approximately

And this is why we get critiqued :P

1) There is one too many blackbirds in the middle of the sentence, it reads pretty awkwardly.

2) "discharges it's main" should be "discharges its main"

1. I agree, that was a part I was actually looking at today and thought needed changing

2. Again this is why we get critiqued

Nothing inherently wrong, just seemed kinda too on the nose for me.

Yeah, all the names are the end are references, probably not final I just thought it was funny when writing the draft.

Just a quick nitpick though: Why does the MTF immediately think that the "giants" made them shrink on purpose? Do they remember that they were using an anomaly that shrinks and grows things, and were using to shrink an anomaly known to adapting to anomalies? It should seem that they would be smart enough to connect the puzzle pieces on that, and be less agressive to the Foundation.

Please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

The MTF in my mind think that 682 has actually teleported them rather than shrunk them. Part of the effect is for whatever reason (in my head maybe 682's influence) is that they can't correctly perceive what's happened to them which is why they haven't realised this. It may be something I'll describe a bit more in the description and in another log on the addendum I may add something like that they thought about this but from their perspective it doesn't make sense.

Anyway thanks for the critique, it certainly helps and I am really glad people are overall liking the idea/draft :)

Ok guys so I have made quite a few changes to the draft, audio logs are a WIP at the moment, I'm still looking for someone to play the part of MTF-Lambda-9 but a few people have said they're interested, the notes at the end still need writing and the main picture still needs redoing (waiting on a prop) but it is very nearly done.