One thing doesn't match: If you installed "Eclipse IDE for Java Developers", how come you have a perspective called "C/C++"? It's not part of that package. Do you still have the download? Want to double check it's not eclipse-cpp-kepler-SR2-win32-x86_64.zip ?

Otherwise:
First stop to check what's going on would be via Help > About Eclipse SDK and try to find anything Java inside those dialogs.

Well that's just depressing. At one point I did incorrectly download the C++ version (the screen shot), but when I opened the java version the c++ perspective was showing. Which resulted in a chain of events and my tangled frustrated brain thinking something was wrong with the system (although it's almost never the system). Lost all this time for something ridiculous, boo.