Live From New York, It’s Saturday Night!

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One-night stand that turned into a booty call

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I’ll call him Michael. We first met in line outside a club (well, my friend Lisa and I cut in because we didn’t want to wait for 4 hours) and I bummed him and his friend a couple of Black n Milds for being cool about it. It was pretty dark, but I could see he was a guy of my age, with a near fro of brown curly hair and a nice smile. He was pretty drunk, though (he and his roommates had Four Lokos), and we weren’t, so we didn’t talk to them for long. When we got out of the club, though, we ran into them again. There wasn’t room in the cab for 5 people (which we’d grown to), so Lisa volunteered to walk home with them since their dorm was only a block away from ours. We didn’t know them well, but Lisa wasn’t drunk and could take care of herself, so I let her go. Over the next few days, Lisa often went to hang out with them and eventually she told me they were coming to our room on Saturday to help her decorate. I only vaguely remembered them, so I was pretty indifferent to the idea. However, when Michael and his roommate walked in, there was almost an electric jolt that flicked on between us. We immediately started up on witty banter. We clicked instantly. Later in the day, we went back to their dorm and I stayed with Michael to help him decorate while Lisa and his roommate went to get food. Nothing happened while they were gone, but I found myself getting more and more attracted to him as the night began.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Once everyone was back and we began drinking, he kissed me in the kitchen. The sparks only intensified. We eventually all went back to my room to listen to music on my turntable and stare at the drop-dead gorgeous view of the Manhattan skyline I was blessed with. Michael and I began kissing again. When I asked him if I should kick everyone else out, he simply nodded with a look of lust on his face.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Once they were all gone, I put on “In Rainbows” (great album to make love to) and started going down on him while he was standing. He loved it, getting harder and harder for me. At one point, he looked down and exclaimed, in shock, “Damn, you have a black girl’s ass!” That made me very happy, as my ass is one of my favorite assets. Eventually, we went back to my bed where we had sex in several different positions. It was glorious. Passionate and sexy and exciting. After a while, he suggested we go to the window, where he fucked me from behind, bending me over so I braced myself against the window and was staring out at that beautiful skyline. At one point, when he was close to finishing, he yelled, “Live from New York, it’s Saturday night!” It was hilarious and perfect for the excitement of the evening. After he came, we showered together, not having sex but just talking and kissing. We went back to his dorm for a while to make ramen and talk to his roommates, who had just gotten back from Electric Zoo (this is also when I first met The Armenian, but I’ll share that story another time). Eventually, though, we went back to my room, where we had sex again and fell asleep in each others arms. The next morning, we went for round 3, then he left with a kiss goodbye.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I didn’t, but I never do with intercourse. I don’t mind, though. I get the most pleasure from making my partner happy. And he came nice and hard.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used condoms. Didn’t discuss STI’s, but it turned out neither of us had to worry since we were both clean.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Pure, unadulterated chemistry. I wasn’t horny and neither was he. I’d had sex a few days ago and he’d had sex just the day before. But the connection was instant and we hopped right on it.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We’d both had some alcohol, but not too much. We also smoked Dokha, a pipe tobacco from the Middle East he’d discovered when he lived in Spain for a couple of years during high school. It basically sends you on a 2 minutes high that is incomparable with other drugs that aren’t pills or powders. Completely exhilarating.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next day, I hung out at his dorm with Lisa and his other roommates. He was pretty distant all day (video games), but acted totally normal towards me. We didn’t have sex for a long time after that. We simply became very good friends. That spark we’d had that night developed into the base for a wonderful friendship. 4 months later, though, right before I left for winter break, we hooked up again, mostly because we were both very horny. After, he gave me a very serious speech about how I became more beautiful to him the longer he knew me. His words really stuck and prompted some very intense feelings for a while. Out of my control, I found myself falling for someone I’d taken to thinking of as my best friend. Our whole group seemed to think he felt the same way because of how he acted toward me, but every time we had sex (which only happened 3 or 4 times after winter break), he would shy away for a week, as if to make it clear that he didn’t have feelings for me. That hit hard, but I kept quiet because I didn’t want to fuck things up with someone I cared so much about. When he finally brought a girl to the group, one that mattered, I was heartbroken. I’d been convinced that if he was every ready for a relationship, I’d be the first he’d turn to. Unfortunately, the girl he started seeing was absolutely wonderful and we became friends instantly. One drunken night, she asked me why Michael and I weren’t together, which prompted a lot of confessions on my side. This caused a lot of problems for a couple of days, but I explained to Hannah that I didn’t feel that way about him anymore (not a total lie, I’d been getting over him for a couple of weeks at that point) and they got back together. Now, he and I are closer than ever, but only as friends. And I’m very close with his girlfriend, who knows everything about our past.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? All of my friends knew the next day or found out over the next year. We’re both very open about it. We laugh at the fact that we met during Welcome Week our freshman year, fucked, then became best friends. People generally find it very entertaining.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Extremely consensual on both ends.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I don’t regret it for one second. Part of me wishes I could have had more control over my emotions and not fallen for him, but I think regrets are a waste of time.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was getting an amazing friend from the whole thing. The worst was being in love with my best friend. If it’s unrequited, that always sucks.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative