Polka Dots, Red Lips, and Real Mom Confessions

I always wonder how the lives of other mom bloggers go. What do they do day-to-day; what is their routine like; do they actually get dressed for allday???

Because I have a confession: I am usually not dressed until Asa goes down for his nap. Which these days is around 1pm. I don’t generally feel like putting pretty things on, doing my makeup, wearing shoes, or getting hair all done for most of the morning, when there are two meals to be had that could potentially stain clothes, a toddler to be chased, and no clear sightline to the living room from anywhere in the house. And when you’ve got a 16 month old climber who can get up onto pretty much anything by himself, it’s risky to leave the room. Even if you can hear him.

I always wonder how other mothers do it. Up early before the baby to get ready? Do they wait like I do for naptimes to get things done (or clothes on)? Given, living with people who are remodeling makes it harder; if it was my own house, I’d probably be able to multitask, as we’d only have one floor and no construction areas for curious little fingers to get into.

But naptime comes around and I usually have time to clean myself up, put on real clothes, throw on my usual makeup, and take outfit pictures before Asa wakes up. It’s a nice little reprieve from watching him and attempting to do what housework I can. (And yes, I do wear the clothes I post for the rest of the day after I’ve gotten them on.)

Although, I still haven’t figured out how to get a shower in there. Which is confession #2: I don’t shave daily unless it’s a really fancy date and people might care if my legs have 3 day old stubble. Not to mention armpits. And with the body hair movement going on right now (which, by the way, is pretty great; I don’t think any woman should feel she has to shave uless she wants to. I generally want to. My body hair is not soft.) I’m pretty sure nobody cares anyway.

Which brings me to confession #3: I am not an active go-to-the-park, teach all the time, play with the baby type of mom. I know I’m not the only one – I have seen a rash of blog posts about moms who have felt the pressure to be the “fun” mom but just aren’t – and I do play with Asa, and always make a point to put down my phone or computer if he comes up with a book or wants to cuddle or comes over with toys for me — but I have a hard time figuring out what to actually do with a baby this age. Stacking blocks and spreading Duplos around the room and holding paper down so he can learn to scribble with Crayons is only entertaining for so long, and who doesn’t get tired of reading the same book 50 times in a row?

Don’t get me wrong: I love motherhood. Asa is happy and easy and funny and so, so busy all the time, and he’s so efficient at entertaining himself that… I suppose I don’t feel I have to engage him constantly. And of course, being pregnant does give me excuses for not being super active, but still. Mostly, this confession is for those moms out there who are like me, because… it’s okay. Not all moms are super moms. I’m guessing most moms probably aren’t play-with-the-kids-all-the-time moms.

I see a lot of pictures of blog moms who are dressed beautifully and post pictures interacting with their children, and I always wonder: is that real life, or is that staged? I certainly don’t have time to take pictures of myself playing with Asa (I tried, it’s hard) but as well on any given day I am either cleaning house or on the couch in my yoga pants while he plays by himself and explores his limited area of reach. (We also go outside when it’s nice, where he explores the yard and climbs toys and I watch and ensure he doesn’t damage himself.) Maybe when he gets older and more communicative, I will play with him more. Or maybe I’m going to be one of those moms who lets her kids play and imagine and entertain themselves as long as they’re not breaking stuff or beating up other kids.

I don’t know. I just know I’m much more laid back as a parent than I thought I would be, and I think it’s okay. And I want other moms to know… hey, it’s okay if you’re not playing with your kid 24/7. They need to discover and learn for themselves sometimes. It’s okay if you don’t get dressed until 2pm when the baby is sleeping and you finally have 30 minutes to yourself. It’s okay if you don’t shower all week, or shave, either. You’re a mom. Do what you need (and WANT) to do to survive.