There is a phrase very common in the profiles... "Looking for my soul mate". Do you really know what a soul mate is? I do not think so, if you did, I bet you would not looking for it, according to ― Elizabeth Gilbert, this is a soul mate...
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...”
I found my soul mate a couple of yeara ago and I can tell you it was a great experience in terms that eventhough we were miles away, we could breath the same air, if I got sick, he got sick too, we never touch each other but we were able to feel each other as close as if he was actually lying next to me,he will immediately know if something was wrong as well as I would too, we learned a lot from each other, never had the chance to meet face to face, there was always something that stopped us from doing it, we communicated only through chats, email, phone and still none of us had never felt such powerful attraction... He used to call me his soul mate and I was sure he was, when I read this quote from ― Elizabeth Gilbert, I knew he was and I understood why he had to fly away...
To find a soul mate is a great experience and if you ask me, I think I will go though it again, but to let it go away it is also one of the must hurtful experiences I have ever gone through... They will never stay, once you have learned your lesson, they will leave so either be stubborn and do not learn so they will not go, or you better look for a perfect match...

There is a phrase very common in the profiles... "Looking for my soul mate". Do you really know what a soul mate is? I do not think so, if you did, I bet you would not looking for it, according to ― Elizabeth Gilbert, this is a soul mate...
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...”

I found my soul mate a couple of yeara ago and I can tell you it was a great experience in terms that eventhough we were miles away, we could breath the same air, if I got sick, he got sick too, we never touch each other but we were able to feel each other as close as if he was actually lying next to me,he will immediately know if something was wrong as well as I would too, we learned a lot from each other, never had the chance to meet face to face, there was always something that stopped us from doing it, we communicated only through chats, email, phone and still none of us had never felt such powerful attraction... He used to call me his soul mate and I was sure he was, when I read this quote from ― Elizabeth Gilbert, I knew he was and I understood why he had to fly away...

To find a soul mate is a great experience and if you ask me, I think I will go though it again, but to let it go away it is also one of the must hurtful experiences I have ever gone through... They will never stay, once you have learned your lesson, they will leave so either be stubborn and do not learn so they will not go, or you better look for a perfect match...

I believe that a soulmate is the near mirror image of ourselves. The one we can't seem to easily break free from althought that voice in our head says" run!" That person that when you sit yourself down and say "self, why do you feel you love this person ... and you can't come up with any reasonable answer other than, "they're just like me in so many ways". Unfortunately for me, my soulmate was all the things I was working on changing about myself. So maybe that was more fortunate than "un". It took me a long time to let go and move away from that dangerous connection, but without that experience, I wouldn't be the person I am today.

I believe that a soulmate is the near mirror image of ourselves. The one we can't seem to easily break free from althought that voice in our head says" run!" That person that when you sit yourself down and say "self, why do you feel you love this person ... and you can't come up with any reasonable answer other than, "they're just like me in so many ways". Unfortunately for me, my soulmate was all the things I was working on changing about myself. So maybe that was more fortunate than "un". It took me a long time to let go and move away from that dangerous connection, but without that experience, I wouldn't be the person I am today.

It's my belief that many people simply carry their own definition of what a SoulMate is. Without referring to publications or literature for their foundation.

From my observations, could it be a relationship that grows from a seemingly unbelievably positive friendship (one in which you "just get one another" without the white noise of trials and tribulations) that evolves into an entity which is amazingly healthy in which each partner truly compliments each other - without the need for unhealthy individual change - and brings forth unconditional love/joy/and total acceptance?

This begs the folllowing questions:

Are friendships that start out amazingly smooth, and grow (into a SM bond) without "the hard work" that many others endure during courtship, the only types of relationships to really throw your greatest effort into?

Does every (SM) relationship need a lot of work to exist, and to remain awesome?

Well, I puit it out there that yes, both partners (who may look upon each other as SMs /or soulmates) should perform acts that contribute to the overall good of the relationship. BUT I believe from my observations that too many couples tend to either start out on an unhealthy foundation, and/or, require more work than what really should be required in order for a great (bordering SM) relationship to exist.

In addressing the realistic issue of disagreements, it's my belief that fundamentally (though disagreements are always going to exist), one must look at the overall impact of the disagreement, and the emotional toll it takes to resolve it. If it's really a detrimental toll, I believe it's likely to come out within the courting phase of the relationship. Additionally, it's the manner in which any disagreement is dealt with that has the effect of turning a potential SM relationship into a "run of the mill" relationship; which ultimately isn't so bad. It would make the relationship typical; but surely it's not that of a relationship that rings SM to me.

Just my two cents. Not looking for a debate, just offering a perspective.

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him" - Goethe

I'm not one to post, so this is my first go at it...

It's my belief that many people simply carry their own definition of what a SoulMate is. Without referring to publications or literature for their foundation.

From my observations, could it be a relationship that grows from a seemingly unbelievably positive friendship (one in which you "just get one another" without the white noise of trials and tribulations) that evolves into an entity which is amazingly healthy in which each partner truly compliments each other - without the need for unhealthy individual change - and brings forth unconditional love/joy/and total acceptance?

This begs the folllowing questions:

Are friendships that start out amazingly smooth, and grow (into a SM bond) without "the hard work" that many others endure during courtship, the only types of relationships to really throw your greatest effort into?

Does every (SM) relationship need a lot of work to exist, and to remain awesome?

Well, I puit it out there that yes, both partners (who may look upon each other as SMs /or soulmates) should perform acts that contribute to the overall good of the relationship. BUT I believe from my observations that too many couples tend to either start out on an unhealthy foundation, and/or, require more work than what really should be required in order for a great (bordering SM) relationship to exist.

In addressing the realistic issue of disagreements, it's my belief that fundamentally (though disagreements are always going to exist), one must look at the overall impact of the disagreement, and the emotional toll it takes to resolve it. If it's really a detrimental toll, I believe it's likely to come out within the courting phase of the relationship. Additionally, it's the manner in which any disagreement is dealt with that has the effect of turning a potential SM relationship into a "run of the mill" relationship; which ultimately isn't so bad. It would make the relationship typical; but surely it's not that of a relationship that rings SM to me.

Just my two cents. Not looking for a debate, just offering a perspective.

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him" - Goethe

Ah, soul mates. We’ve all been fed the romantic notion that there’s one perfect someone out there for us. Everyone has one perfect soul mate, and if we’re lucky, we’ll find each other and live happily ever after. The stars will align for us: we’ll be born at the same time (give or take a few or twenty years) and after living our lives a little, we’ll magically end up in the same part of the world at exactly the right time to fall head-over-heels in love. We’ll know instantly when we meet. Bells will ring, cupids will dance around our heads, and we’ll have stars in our eyes. You’ve seen the cartoon and movie versions, I’m sure.

I have good news and bad news for you. The bad news is that it doesn’t work like that most of the time, and when it does, it doesn’t always have a happy ending. The good news is that even when things end badly, we can still make our own happy ending. The other good news is that there’s more than one soul mate for each of us. To understand this, you’ll need a better understanding of what a soul mate really is.

Soul mates are individuals who incarnate together for the purpose of growing in love. They make agreements with each other to help teach the life lessons each wants to learn. Then they incarnate at more or less the same time as a soul family. The members of a soul family are soul mates. Soul mates are kindred spirits, but they are not necessarily romantic partners. Your best friend is a soul mate, and one, sometimes both of your parents are soul mates. Anyone with whom you’ve been in a significant romantic relationship is a soul mate.

When I say significant romantic relationship, I mean one that has impacted you on a deeply emotional level. Soul mates give you a chance to see yourself more clearly. Any significant relationship that teaches you something about yourself is a relationship with a soul mate.

It doesn’t have to be a long-term relationship. It doesn’t even have to be a relationship that had a positive outcome. Some of our soul mates agree to act as the villain in our life to help us learn something important about ourselves. For example, a partner who cheated on you may not seem like a soul mate, but if that experience helps you grow in self-respect, then that person has given you a gift. You may not appreciate the wrapping, but once you’re on the other side of the experience, you will appreciate the gift.

We all come into the world as perfect, radiant beings. We deeply trust that we will be loved and cared for. We look at the world with eyes of unconditional love and we expect that love to be reflected back to us. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out like that. At some point in our young lives, we discover that our needs will not always be met. We cry and are left unattended. We’re hungry and we don’t get fed right away. We have a dirty diaper and are left to sit in it. As we grow, we fall down and hurt ourselves. We misbehave and a parent takes away our favorite toy. We eat crayons and get yelled at. We throw food and get a smack on the hand. Each experience creates an impression in the psyche.

Even if your childhood was idyllic, you were still wounded. No matter how wonderful your parents were, there were times when you felt alone, abandoned, and unloved as an infant or young child. A seemingly simple thing like being left to cry in a playpen for a few minutes can create a lasting impact on the psyche. Even if your parents were wonderful, loving beings, you may have had a teacher or a babysitter who gave you a message that led you to hide your light. It is a normal, natural part of the process of being human.

I believe that we come into the world to play a game. The game is to hide our light and try to find it again—a game of cosmic hide and seek. Our soul mates are the other players in the game. We are all divine beings, pretending to be mere mortals. We have veils, called maya (illusion) in Sanskrit, that make us forget that we are powerful co-creators of our reality, and that we each have a spark of the divine within. We choose our parents for the ways they will help us forget that our true nature is unconditional love, and then we spend most, if not all, of our adult lives trying to find our way back to that unconditional love.

All the reasons we look for and attract a romantic partner come down to one thing: we have been wounded as small children and our soul—our heart—deeply desires to be whole again. It’s always looking for those missing pieces to put back into the puzzle that is you. It’s also always looking for a do-over; a way to replay the times your parents wounded you and heal from them by creating a more loving outcome. Our romantic partners and other members of our soul family agree to help us put the pieces back together.

This is what I have found about it...
What Is a Soul Mate, Really? By Johanna Lyman
+ enlarge

Ah, soul mates. We’ve all been fed the romantic notion that there’s one perfect someone out there for us. Everyone has one perfect soul mate, and if we’re lucky, we’ll find each other and live happily ever after. The stars will align for us: we’ll be born at the same time (give or take a few or twenty years) and after living our lives a little, we’ll magically end up in the same part of the world at exactly the right time to fall head-over-heels in love. We’ll know instantly when we meet. Bells will ring, cupids will dance around our heads, and we’ll have stars in our eyes. You’ve seen the cartoon and movie versions, I’m sure.

I have good news and bad news for you. The bad news is that it doesn’t work like that most of the time, and when it does, it doesn’t always have a happy ending. The good news is that even when things end badly, we can still make our own happy ending. The other good news is that there’s more than one soul mate for each of us. To understand this, you’ll need a better understanding of what a soul mate really is.

Soul mates are individuals who incarnate together for the purpose of growing in love. They make agreements with each other to help teach the life lessons each wants to learn. Then they incarnate at more or less the same time as a soul family. The members of a soul family are soul mates. Soul mates are kindred spirits, but they are not necessarily romantic partners. Your best friend is a soul mate, and one, sometimes both of your parents are soul mates. Anyone with whom you’ve been in a significant romantic relationship is a soul mate.

When I say significant romantic relationship, I mean one that has impacted you on a deeply emotional level. Soul mates give you a chance to see yourself more clearly. Any significant relationship that teaches you something about yourself is a relationship with a soul mate.

It doesn’t have to be a long-term relationship. It doesn’t even have to be a relationship that had a positive outcome. Some of our soul mates agree to act as the villain in our life to help us learn something important about ourselves. For example, a partner who cheated on you may not seem like a soul mate, but if that experience helps you grow in self-respect, then that person has given you a gift. You may not appreciate the wrapping, but once you’re on the other side of the experience, you will appreciate the gift.

We all come into the world as perfect, radiant beings. We deeply trust that we will be loved and cared for. We look at the world with eyes of unconditional love and we expect that love to be reflected back to us. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out like that. At some point in our young lives, we discover that our needs will not always be met. We cry and are left unattended. We’re hungry and we don’t get fed right away. We have a dirty diaper and are left to sit in it. As we grow, we fall down and hurt ourselves. We misbehave and a parent takes away our favorite toy. We eat crayons and get yelled at. We throw food and get a smack on the hand. Each experience creates an impression in the psyche.

Even if your childhood was idyllic, you were still wounded. No matter how wonderful your parents were, there were times when you felt alone, abandoned, and unloved as an infant or young child. A seemingly simple thing like being left to cry in a playpen for a few minutes can create a lasting impact on the psyche. Even if your parents were wonderful, loving beings, you may have had a teacher or a babysitter who gave you a message that led you to hide your light. It is a normal, natural part of the process of being human.

I believe that we come into the world to play a game. The game is to hide our light and try to find it again—a game of cosmic hide and seek. Our soul mates are the other players in the game. We are all divine beings, pretending to be mere mortals. We have veils, called maya (illusion) in Sanskrit, that make us forget that we are powerful co-creators of our reality, and that we each have a spark of the divine within. We choose our parents for the ways they will help us forget that our true nature is unconditional love, and then we spend most, if not all, of our adult lives trying to find our way back to that unconditional love.

All the reasons we look for and attract a romantic partner come down to one thing: we have been wounded as small children and our soul—our heart—deeply desires to be whole again. It’s always looking for those missing pieces to put back into the puzzle that is you. It’s also always looking for a do-over; a way to replay the times your parents wounded you and heal from them by creating a more loving outcome. Our romantic partners and other members of our soul family agree to help us put the pieces back together.

Yes, everyone has many according to most of the Eastern traditions which believe in past life experiences.

They say soul mates are those with whom we have had past romantic relationships. They believe we each have lived many, many past lives and therefore we have many, many soul mates, and soul families as well. Not all of them we will meet up with in this lifetime, but when we do we often have soul lessons to learn with that person. These soul lessons help us evolve on a spiritual level. Sometimes the lessons are painful. Sometimes they are joyous. So the philosophy goes.

Personally, I don't believe or disbelive in past lives. Maybe yes. Maybe no. But I sure do believe in twin flames, because of the extraodinary experience I've had my entire life with my twin flame soul mate.............. BeWell

Quoting MillionDollarBab:

"The Soul Mate..." What is it? It is elusive, mysterious, and calls with the siren call. I also found my soul mate. Truth be told, some of the things you said about soul mates are correct. Also, BeWell, "the psychic connection." We both had dreams. I saw his father and his sister, even though I had never met them. There is a such thing as a soul mate. But is there more than one?

Quoting MillionDollarBab:

"The Soul Mate..." What is it? It is elusive, mysterious, and calls with the siren call. I also found my soul mate. Truth be told, some of the things you said about soul mates are correct. Also, BeWell, "the psychic connection." We both had dreams. I saw his father and his sister, even though I had never met them. There is a such thing as a soul mate. But is there more than one?

Yes, everyone has many according to most of the Eastern traditions which believe in past life experiences.

They say soul mates are those with whom we have had past romantic relationships. They believe we each have lived many, many past lives and therefore we have many, many soul mates, and soul families as well. Not all of them we will meet up with in this lifetime, but when we do we often have soul lessons to learn with that person. These soul lessons help us evolve on a spiritual level. Sometimes the lessons are painful. Sometimes they are joyous. So the philosophy goes.

Personally, I don't believe or disbelive in past lives. Maybe yes. Maybe no. But I sure do believe in twin flames, because of the extraodinary experience I've had my entire life with my twin flame soul mate.............. BeWell

"The Soul Mate..." What is it? It is elusive, mysterious, and calls with the siren call. I also found my soul mate. Truth be told, some of the things you said about soul mates are correct. Also, BeWell, "the psychic connection." We both had dreams. I saw his father and his sister, even though I had never met them. There is a such thing as a soul mate. But is there more than one?

"The Soul Mate..." What is it? It is elusive, mysterious, and calls with the siren call. I also found my soul mate. Truth be told, some of the things you said about soul mates are correct. Also, BeWell, "the psychic connection." We both had dreams. I saw his father and his sister, even though I had never met them. There is a such thing as a soul mate. But is there more than one?

There are a lot of different books on the subject of soul mates, and I think I've read nearly all of them. I think your's is actually a "twin flame soul mate", much different from the garden variety soul mate. It is rare that twin flames can ever live together; only when they have evolutionarily caught up with each other. If they find each other in this lifetime, they go in and out of each other's lives just long enough to share experiences and mirror the other as you described.

However, garden variety soul mates tend to be attached at the hip (emotionally close, and endlessly in love) and have similar life-paths. Each person has a lot of soul mates, but there can only be one twin flame. Actually we are all soul mates if you believe in the oneness theory. I'd rather have a garden variety soul mate than a twin flame, or the Universe's special gift for me would work just as well.

I have a twin flame too. I've known him and loved him dearly since I was 7 years old. It is amazing at how similar our lives are including illnesses and traumas and successes. The psychic connection is unbelieveable. He is freaked out about it and doesn't understand it, but acknowledges it.

Twin flames' lives are similar to stories of real birth twins who are separated at birth. My daughter even looks like him and not her father, and I had not been with my twin flame in an intimate way at that point. Much later in life we did a romantic dance, but it didn't work out. We still love each other tremendously, but we just haven't caught up to each other in different aspects of consciousness yet. Maybe in the next life time if there is anything to that theory. It is over and we both have moved on. I am grateful for having had the experience with him.

My parents were soul mates to the very end of my mother's life. But they were not twin flames. I totally understand the difference.

So don't rule out soul mates. If you find one, you'll know it and it will be great, but so will that guy who is a special gift from the Universe who makes your heart sing with joy............ BeWell

Maggy,

There are a lot of different books on the subject of soul mates, and I think I've read nearly all of them. I think your's is actually a "twin flame soul mate", much different from the garden variety soul mate. It is rare that twin flames can ever live together; only when they have evolutionarily caught up with each other. If they find each other in this lifetime, they go in and out of each other's lives just long enough to share experiences and mirror the other as you described.

However, garden variety soul mates tend to be attached at the hip (emotionally close, and endlessly in love) and have similar life-paths. Each person has a lot of soul mates, but there can only be one twin flame. Actually we are all soul mates if you believe in the oneness theory. I'd rather have a garden variety soul mate than a twin flame, or the Universe's special gift for me would work just as well.

I have a twin flame too. I've known him and loved him dearly since I was 7 years old. It is amazing at how similar our lives are including illnesses and traumas and successes. The psychic connection is unbelieveable. He is freaked out about it and doesn't understand it, but acknowledges it.

Twin flames' lives are similar to stories of real birth twins who are separated at birth. My daughter even looks like him and not her father, and I had not been with my twin flame in an intimate way at that point. Much later in life we did a romantic dance, but it didn't work out. We still love each other tremendously, but we just haven't caught up to each other in different aspects of consciousness yet. Maybe in the next life time if there is anything to that theory. It is over and we both have moved on. I am grateful for having had the experience with him.

My parents were soul mates to the very end of my mother's life. But they were not twin flames. I totally understand the difference.

So don't rule out soul mates. If you find one, you'll know it and it will be great, but so will that guy who is a special gift from the Universe who makes your heart sing with joy............ BeWell