Thursday, March 31, 2005

Girl getting kicked

So I'm sitting here at werk, minding my own business, reading a book (which is basically all I do on my nights other than menial chores (ie. sweeping the floor/Baking something for dessert/other) and typing in my blog) when one of the youth in my house (who will always remain nameless due to the sensitivity of my job) comes down the stairs to tell me that there is a girl getting beaten up in the alleyway. At first I can't hear YOUTH because the dishwasher and the dryer are both going. YOUTH says again that there is a girl outside in the alleyway getting beaten up.

I immediately feel the need to see this spectacle and confirm its truth for myself seeing as there are times when the youth at my house are less than truthful. I run (slowly walk) up the stairs and into YOUTH's room to check it out. Sure enough there's a girl on the ground pleading for mercy at the hands of what i can only assume is her boyfriend.

Not surprisingly, BOYFRIEND is dressed like a typical Regina Gang-Star with low-rise jeans, a hoodie and baseball cap turned partly to the side (I assume so people know he's "different" and "original" from all the other Regina Gang-Stars in town). I can't really tell what GIRLFRIEND is dressed like as she is lying on the ground with her feet towards BOYFRIEND in a feeble attempt to ward off his vicious kicks.

I'll take time now to admit to everyone reading this that I'm a huge pussy. Huge. Instead of running right outside to confront BOYFRIEND, I go directly to the phone and call the police. It's not the fact that I'm afraid of confrontation cause I'm not. What I am afraid of, though, is the percentage of chance that BOYFRIEND is "packing a nine" (approximately 1% chance). I talk to the police and I ask them if I should go out to confront BOYFRIEND. I am told that I shouldn't because I don't want to invite danger onto myself. I agreed that I didn't want a cap to be busted into me and left the issue at that.

I went back into YOUTH's room to time the cops to see how long they'd take. BOYFRIEND was still kicking GIRLFRIEND and swearing at her quietly so as not to be heard by neighbors. In about 2 minutes a police car came streaking down the alley after BOYFRIEND. Of course, in typical Regina Gang-Star fashion, BOYFRIEND ran away from the cops yelling expletives in his wake.

I don't imagine the cops found BOYFRIEND as they circled back to the alleyway within 5 minutes of searching, but at least GIRLFRIEND was safe. Just another night in the life of the Peoples Champ LBomb.

WOW... does the "L" in Lbomb stand for ASS? i mean, don't get me wrong i love ya man... BUT SHE WAS BEING BEATEN! i read with excitment awaiting this amazing "mount up", beat this punk like i red headed step child that just spilt the milk, got midevil on his, peoples champ, stompin' tom, "ever since i have been the champ" booty kicking story! but i was sorrily dissapointed. like if you just stepped in the alley and yelled "HEY DOUCHE FACE! you see this beard... I'll kill you punk!" GARAUNTEED He is runnin for his life, and instead of me reading this on the blog... I am watching this on CNN as "this just in.. An individual who can only be described as "all kinds of man" saved a helpless girl from the hands of a N.O.D., NS wanna be. you really missed out man! Next time i know you'll do better.