A/N: So this is a little something that I just came up with. I have no initial plans to continue this. I don't really know where it would go from here. Or behind, as the case may be. But this is very AU in a huge genre way inspired by season 6 and my cutthroat lovers. CxB.

Summary: "I'm merely a fan. I love a woman with an assault rifle." She holds the contract and he can't keep his eyes off of her. Rifles go well with couture.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. I use the characters as I wish, but all his Gossip Girl. No beta. Just me.

"Yes?"

The first time he saw her all she was wearing was lingerie. Her little minion sat in the corner, petrified as he leaned against the doorframe.

The dark haired femme only looked at him coolly.

Chuck was sure she didn't mind the way he was looking at her. Then again, who could blame him?

"Expecting someone else?" Chuck asked.

"You sure wouldn't like to believe that," she replied.

"Would you like to put something on?"

"Why?" Blair asked. "Are you uncomfortable?"

"Quite the opposite," he smirked.

The little blonde's blue eyes snapped back and forth, seemingly hoping she would melt into the wall.

"Can I help you with something?" Blair asked apathetically.

"Oh, I dare say you can help me with a lot of things."

"How about I get security to throw you out."

"I thought you didn't care that I was here."

"I care when strangers burst into my room without an invitation."

"It seems like you do want to put something on."

"It seems like you're nervous and stalling."

"Never," Chuck answered, closing in on her. "I just like your perfume."

"Jenny," Blair said slowly, "go check the hydrangeas."

Chuck watched the little thing scamper out of the room.

"Are you flowers in any danger?"

"You tell me."

"You're an artist," Chuck said.

"I didn't realize you were here to compliment me to death."

"Do you have a problem with it?"

"Just getting bored."

"With my father," Chuck reiterated.

Finally her face fell.

"I find it astounding that we're on the same side," Chuck said. "You really can pull off the innocent virgin act astonishingly well."

"Either that was just code for your maid to assassinate me, or you don't have men in here," Chuck said. Blair turned her bare back on him to return to the closet. She turned back, holding in her hands an even more flimsy piece of red scrap in her hands.