“If we’re meant to meet again, it will happen. Fate brought us together once…” she said, in a voice just quieter than the sound of my heart breaking.

Sure. Fate. And me begging, bribing and a mildly threatening a mutual friend. Who, by the way, said “I thought you liked brunettes!” and then I “bup bup bup”ed her until she agreed to let me join them at the park.

“We met once before. Do you remember?” she asked, looking out over the pond.

Did I remember?

“Vaguely,” I laughed — through my pain.

I don’t think she got the joke.

Then I told her where. When. And what she was wearing. (I know. I know. Too much.)

She smiled. “Maybe you remember a little.”

I pulled the bread into little pieces.

I handed them to her.

She threw them to the ducks.

She hit one of the ducks, gently, with a little piece.

She apologized.

The others yelled to us that it was time to eat.

I was opposed to this idea.

But smiled and passed her the last morsel of bread.

She tossed it to a baby duck.

And she watched to make sure that he got it.

And she smiled.

We walked back.

We joined the others.

The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur.

Everyone chatted, but she and I sat next to each other and playfully bantered.

She asked questions.

I answered.

Which, frankly, is a bit odd for me.

When she dropped a southern phrase that her grandma used frequently, I laughed.

Hard.

But then it was time for her to go.

A work event.

I recommended her quitting her job.

Maybe getting some kind of adorableness grant.

She told me to process for getting one of those is “like, so political.”

I had to do it.

I had to.

I leaned in and asked for her number again.

“Not today,” she whispered.

My crest was fallen.

I faked a smile.

She hugged me.

After a delay, I hugged back.

She waved to everyone, picked up her flip flops and walked away.

I tried not to watch her go.

It was not an overwhelming success.

I stayed for a while after that.

Not because I was enjoying the conversations about artists I had never heard of, or foods I wouldn’t eat at gunpoint.

But because…

I just didn’t want the day to end.

When I felt like my mood was darkening too much to put up with conversations, I stood up.