Your whole "I dress like an office drone and act respectable and then sit on forum where we discuss urethra fucking and public torture" bit still creeps me out. I bet it would creep out your co-workers even more.

1. Acquire a sexually appealing pumpkin
2. Make many holes in the pumpkin, each a little smaller than your penis (use a penny as a pattern)
3. Slather the pumpkin with Crisco or lard (style pernts for lard)
4. Microwave until just tender
5. Wrap in a clean towel until you arrive at your friends' house
6. Unveil your warm, pliant pumpkin to your friends
7. Make pie.

quote:Originally posted by Dacarlo I can already cook. Never cooked pumpkin pie though :P

You should try making a sweet potato pie, Dac. It's very similar to a pumpkin pie and is soooo good. It will be even better if you know how to make a great pie crust, rather than using a ready-made pie crust.

" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should notï¿½the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman