Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

holy crap. you try to get away from the daily grind and what do you get? i mean i haven't been away from that a55hole for six months so i thought i'd take a little cruise and i'm just sunning myself you know, just laying on the sun - i wasn't "coiled menacingly" or nothing and here comes these dudes with sticks throwing a net over me, and poking me into this burlap sack fill with straw and the whole time their laughing like this was great fun and one of them had like immense barf-breath i mean to gag a maggot like so what am i supposed to do, go to disney world? yeah that would go over real well - yeah i'd love to get trampled to death by them furry freaks - so they get me into this sack and take me to this prison with monkey and birds and holy crap! the noise in this place is making me crazy - and the smells, oh my god, i'm ready to go back home! i mean that's what a vacation is supposed to do, right? make you wanna go back to your job, sorta "re-energize" you, right? damn, who's got a gumball?