Two years ago, I had it all. An amazing job, a great boyfriend and a stable, wonderful family. Then my cousin died, my job went away, my boyfriend and I broke up and my Mom had a break down. This is my true story of how I went from having it all to having nothing at all. And this is my journey out - ONE FUN ADVENTURE at a time until I find my way back to me. 'Cause, after spending over 100 days in bed, I've realized, I don't want to live that way anymore.

Friday, October 31, 2008

It's weird. The older I get, the more I feel like I am becoming a Mom to my Mom. I even had this urge to send her $25 in a Halloween card the other day.

On the phone last week, I was trying to encourage my Mom to um, actually tell the truth in therapy to her new therapist. I find it crazy that she would resist this as the whole point of going to therapy is to TELL THE TRUTH AND THEN GET BETTER.

I capitalize it because I am so dumb founded by my mother's desire to never be able to admit anything is wrong EVER.

So, there I am, talking to my Mom and saying how great it has been that I am now seeing a new therapist and how this is really helping inject some energy into figuring out certain things in my life.

(The manipulative subtext was, "And I hope you'll do the same." Which is out of love, people. My Mom has been carrying around 40 pounds of emotional baggage in a 10 pound bag.)

And this is what she says to me:

Mom: "I'm glad you're seeing a new therapist. I did not like your last one at all."Me: "Well, why not?"Mom: "Because she was teaching you about boundaries."

UH, YEAH!

She might as well have said, "I did not like her. She was doing the job she was paid to do and it was becoming really hard on me to push around my more emotionally stable daughter."

The noise I made when she said that was a 1/2 gasp and a 1/2 laugh that resulted in me kind of 1/2 choking and having to get off the phone.

I didn't know if I should have been pissed or find it amazingly hilarious.