When last we left weather gripeologist, Peter King, he was telling the world that Josh McDaniels should get more credit for the Broncos making it to the Super Bowl. Now that they’ve shit the bed, that actually kind of makes a little more sense. But what about this week? Does PK admit that Peyton was horrible? He actually does! There’s a good porker! Don’t worry, though, there’s still plenty of other awful stuff that more than makes up for it. READ ON.

An hour after the lopsided Super Bowl conquest no one east of Yakima saw coming

Pete Carroll was bounding across the MetLife Stadium turf, holding wife Glena’s hand, surrounded by four or five cameras and as many security people, going from one on-field interview to the next. I was in this you’d-better-get-out-of-the-way-or-you’ll-get-flattened pack, asking Carroll about his team and the beatdown.

It’s right there in the law. If you happen to be trampled by a media throng, you’re at fault. Just something to keep in mind the next time you see a Super Bowl winning coach coming through with remora-like reporters in tow.

But something stuck in my mind, and I had to ask this first.

“Pete! PETE! On a scale of quasi to uber, how precocious is Russell Wilson?”

Carroll’s Seahawks practice to the constant and very loud drone of music, hip-hop and rap mostly.

“THE PERFECT SONG TO SOOTHE THE SAVAGE THUGS. PETE CARROLL KNOWS HOW TO GET THE BEST OUT OF THESE BARBARIANS”

Early in the week, Carroll will sneak in a James Brown or Earth, Wind and Fire tune from his youth, or maybe Michael Jackson. But by Friday, it was mostly unrecognizable to this 56-year-old Springsteen and U2 fan. Luckily, I had Shazam, that app that allows you to hold up your phone when a song is playing, to learn what it is.

Among what was played, I’m guessing at about 90 decibels, for the entirety of Friday’s practice: “Fast Lane,” by Bad Meets Evil, “More Bounce to the Ounce,” by Zapp, “We Own It,” by 2 Chainz, “Last of a Dying Breed,” by Ludacris, “We Ready,” by Archie Eversole, “Ambitionz Az a Ridah,” by Tupac, and “Hold Me Back,” by Rick Ross.

More than anything, Pete Carroll appreciates Rick Ross’ frequent references to the Illuminati.

For those who think music is counter-productive, that you need to have teaching moments at a football practice without having to shout over music, and that players switching jerseys for no good reason (Marshawn Lynch was swimming in tackle Breno Giacomini’s jersey Friday) is a distraction, I have one score to point out:

Seattle 43, Denver 8.

Take THAT, enemies of music.

Not only is it such a Peter King thing to cite music being played in practice as the difference maker following a 35-point demolition, but it’s also a PK thing to betray his own beliefs to praise someone who just won. After all, cracking down on music playing and horseplay is the just the kind of thing that made PK fall in love with SCHIANO MEN and THE GREAT SCHIANO WAY.

This defense had it all. We came in praising the secondary endlessly, and the secondary played great, putting a halo of punishment on almost every Denver reception. By that, I mean every play, no matter what the route or who the receiver was, had two or three defenders pouncing within a milisecond of the catch. Clearly, Denver offensive coordinator Adam Gase should have called some double moves, or more deep stuff to try to clear out the middle of the field. Seattle was so on top of everything Manning did.

What’s that? I spent two weeks reading about how Adam Gase was the most crafty of all the Manning coattail riders. What of the ingenious play where the tight end was actually a running back!? Did he only not run that out of a sense of pity for the overmatched Seahawks?

Much will be written and said about this game concerning Manning’s continued inability on the biggest of stages not to preform. There was certainly some of that: I detail later in the column how I thought he made some terrible decisions, especially on the final drive of the first half, when Denver was trying desperately to find some spark. So blame Manning. He deserves a good bit of it, especially when he aims a throw that was a poor decision that ends up being intercepted by Kam Chancellor.

Yes

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

TELL ME MORE HOW HE FAILED.

But there were so many unstoppable rushers for Seattle, but none more than Cliff Avril, the former Lion. He had just a so-so first season with the Seahawks, but he made an amateur out of Denver right tackle Orlando Franklin. He had three big plays in the first half, including two heavy pressures on Manning that aided both interceptions. I was one of the 16 voters for the MVP last night. I voted for Avril. It could have gone to many. I wish I could have penciled in “Seattle Defense.” Because collectively, that truly was the MVP of this Super Bowl.

PK’s not necessarily wrong here. Nevertheless, PK voting for an 11-way tie for an individual award is so, so Petey.

Scary thought for the rest of the NFL. A young quarterback who is afraid of nothing and a young defense that just played a game like the ’85 Bears. Indeed, Seattle is not done.

Bold stance the day after a team wins the Super Bowl.

On this night, not the Mann.

Wait, what about Michael Mann? Oh, you’re trying to be clever. Adorable.

A bitter disappointment for Peyton Manning, obviously. And when Manning looks back on the tape from this game, he’ll be sick. The unforced errors, starting with the first snap of the game. The mistakes he made in identifying the open receivers. The forced throws. He didn’t have much help—he was pressured from start to end—but he tried too hard to make plays that very often weren’t there.

YESSSSS MORE ABOUT THE UNFORCED ERRORS MORE MORE

SPEAK TO ME ABOUT THE GREATEST QUARTERBACKING SEASON EVER

I didn’t see Manning after the game

“I couldn’t bear to see him in defeat. I didn’t want my next masturbation session to be to that image of him.”

but Mark Mravic of The MMQB did. He reported:

It was a grim and tight-lipped Manning who stepped to the podium for his obligatory postgame session with the media in blue pin-striped suit and maroon tie with silver stripes. In front of several dozen reporters, boom mics and cameras, he sat looking as perplexed by what had happened on the field as the 80,000 in MetLife Stadium and the 100 million watching at home. Manning’s answers were perfunctory and unenlightening. In truth, he had no answers. And he did not crack a smile. This was a bitter veteran professional doing his league-mandated duty, looking as if he’d rather be anywhere else. You could tell this hurt.

Truther of the Week.

Pete Carroll!

Weirdest moment of the night: A 9/11 “truther,” Matthew Mills, 30, of Brooklyn, walked up to the side of the podium where Super Bowl MVP Malcolm Smith had just begun to live his moment in the sun.

So… not Pete Carroll? Way to get upstaged on the night you won a Super Bowl by another member of the Truther community. Great truthy hustle, Mr. Mills.

Ten things you need to know about the Hall of Fame vote.

The first five: I GET TO DO IT AND YOU DON’T!
The last five: YOU DON’T THANK ME ENOUGH FOR THIS THING YOU DON’T GET TO DO!

Way to pat yourself on the back for finally allowing yourself to be convinced that you were wrong for years and years. Even his fuckups are triumphs!

I just think as a voter (and a person)

Very healthy when someone cites their HOF voting privileges before their humanity.

it’s important to be open-minded.

“EXCEPT ABOUT SNOW GAMES AND UPPITY BLACK QUARTERBACKS!”

I do go into these meetings open-minded, and I heard a few different reasons this year, some of them quantifying things like hang-time and inside-the-20 punts more clearly than they had in the past, and his peers, on and off the record, were so unwavering in their support that I thought, “Maybe I’m wrong.” I still have some grave questions—Shane Lechler’s inside-the-20 average, for instance, is far better—but I do understand you compare guys to players in their era. So good for Ray Guy. I’m happy he finally achieves the dream.

Because if he had achieved it before Peter had been convinced of his worthiness, he would have pitched a fucking fit about what a disservice had been done to the sport.

My sense of the best new candidates for 2015: Junior Seau, Orlando Pace, Kurt Warner. Warner’s candidacy will be very interesting because he was a Super Bowl quarterback for two franchises—and very nearly a Super Bowl winner for two franchises.

So what you’re saying is Peyton Manning will be a borderline candidate?

We met for 8 hours, 59 minutes. That’s an hour or so longer than usual. Longest debates were on Dungy (47 minutes)

45 of which was Peter lying face down on the table, pounding his fists and yelling, “YOU WILL INDUCT THE DUNGE! HE’S MY FRIEND! INDUCT MY FRIEND! INDUCT MY FRIEND!” The other two were him taking coffee sip breaks.

Death of a legend

It’s the day after the Super Bowl and all, and I understand everyone’s in a football frame of mind. But the death of 46-year-old Philip Seymour Hoffman deserves your attention.

Oh my! Philip Seymour Hoffman died? I hadn’t heard this from a myriad of news sources yesterday. Thankfully a middle aged sportwriter was able to clue me in on this tragedy a day later.

My five favorite Hoffman films follow. Keep in mind I haven’t seen all of his movies (Along Came Polly is one I must see):

ONE CAN NEVER JUDGE THE PSH OEUVRE WITHOUT SEEING ALONG CAME POLLY

Fine Fifteen

3. Denver (15-4). A few words come to mind. Most apt: embarrassing.

Name five words more apt. You can’t.

4. New England (13-5). This is not just because I shared a podium with him Saturday night in Manhattan, but the Patriots need to sign free-agent wide receiver Julian Edelman.

What other reason would a franchise need to invest millions in a receiver other than he’s been namedropped by some media sludge? Surely GMs just read MMQB and exclaim, “Bring me this cornerback who knows the difference between a fine latte and coffee-flavored water. I’ll pay any price!”

Manning was suffocated from the second series on, but he threw a terrible interception to Kam Chancellor, then, instead of pulling the ball down and taking a sack, attempted an ill-conceived throw that was picked and returned for a touchdown. Late in the first half, he made two awful decisions on a series he had to convert into points and got nothing. Yes, Manning was inundated, and his receivers had little room to breathe all night. But he played poorly too. And at 38 on opening day next year, he will still be stuck on one Super Bowl win.

Which really doesn’t diminish Peyton in any meaningful way, but it’s still fun to watch PK have to badmouth his crush.

John Fox, head coach, Denver. With 10:46 left in the third quarter, and Denver trailing 29-0 at the Seattle 39-yard line facing a 4th-and-11, John Fox sent out the punt team. I realize the Broncos were not winning anything by that point, but throwing the white flag with 26 minutes left in a four-score game with Peyton Manning your quarterback? Wow. I thought that was a terrible call.

That was great. It was like John Fox putting his signature on a tour de force of incompetence.

Quotes of the Week

“It’s just a big horse off my back. I was finally able to give my team something for four quarters.”

—Seattle’s Percy Harvin, who, for the first time in 15 months, finished a game he started Sunday. He contributed 137 all-purpose yards and a touchdown to the 43-8 victory. You can see his comments to the right.

I believe it’s monkey in the idiom but I like that he tailored it for a horsey team.

“New Jersey sucks! New Jersey sucks!”

—Angry train riders at the New Jersey Transit station in Secaucus, N.J., stuck in one- to two-hour waits for a train, in overcrowded hallways, to get to MetLife Stadium.

Show some professionalism, you guys, please. JERSEY SUCKS is a much more concise and powerful chant.

Stats of the Week

MetLife Stadium and the Westin Hotel Jersey City have been very, very good to the Seattle Seahawks.

This should be fun.

Three times in the last three seasons—before playing the Giants in 2011, before playing the Giants again in 2013, and before playing this Super Bowl—the Seahawks stayed in the relatively new hotel eight miles from MetLife Stadium. Seattle won the three games, 36-25, 23-0 and 43-8.

Score: Seattle 104, Foes 33.
Seattle intercepted Eli and Peyton Manning 10 times in the three games, and was intercepted twice.
Seattle forced 14 turnovers in the three games and turned it over four times.

Finally, the lodging insight no other reporter can bring. Whereas the other scribes search frantically for what might put one team over the top, Peter knew it all along (though didn’t mention it until after the game) and that’s why he’s the best in The Biz. The Westin turndown service can make champions of anyone and it takes a veteran travel bitcher to see that.

Two prominent Republicans watching a Super Bowl in the luxury box of a well-known donor to the Republican Party? WEIRD!

Mr. Starwood Preferred Member Travel Note of the Week

Distance from New York Giants’ practice facility in East Rutherford, N.J. (where I covered Seahawks practice as a pool reporter Friday), to West 27th Street in Manhattan (where I hosted an event Friday evening): 8.4 miles.

Time it took me to drive the 8.4 miles Friday at 4:37 p.m.: 1 hour, 53 minutes.

INSANITY!!!!!!!

Oh wait, I meant typical early Friday rush hour traffic and holy shit, why must I hear about every petty grievance in your privileged waste of a life?

So Saturday was our Hall of Fame voting day in Manhattan. We cast our ballots in a ballroom on the second floor of the media hotel, the Sheraton Times Square. Lunch was brought in midway through the proceedings. Specifically, box lunches for the 46 voters and Hall officials. A description of my lunch:

Oh, the sacrifices he makes to file the Hall of Fame vote that YOU never thank him for, America. Don’t you know he’s a voter first and a person second? And that voter makes millions of dollars so a hundo ain’t worth the coffee stains on his teeth?

Tweets of the Week

“Worst part of radio row at SB – how everyone interviewing u looks around for who they can grab next instead of engaging the conversation!”

—@kurt13warner, the former quarterback and current NFL Network analyst, on the chase for guests at the Super Bowl Media Center Radio Row.

C’mon, Radio Row hacks, just sit still while Kurt Warner reads Revelations to you. It’s the Christian thing to do.

Ten Things I Think I Think

1. I think we know now why GM John Schneider committed so many resources and so much money to deal for Percy Harvin. Harvin and the Jet Sweep. Harvin and the kickoff return. Harvin and being healthy. His speed is a revelation. Before his score to start the second half, the Seahawks called a kick-return they hadn’t called all season. And teammates said to Harvin on the field, “See you in the end zone.”

Schneider isn’t the champion of the WWE Tiny Front Office Dudes division for nothing (formerly the European title).

2. I think the poise of Russell Wilson is something to behold. Did you see him once get tight? He had two early overthrows. After that … wow.

Did you ever see Russell Wilson get tight other than the two times he got tight?

3. I think this is the way Wilson talks, either to us or to his coaches or teammates: “We knew we’d get here. We knew we’d bring it. We brought it.” That’s what he said at his locker postgame to quarterback coach Carl Smith. But it could have been to the beat guy from Spokane too.

I’m not sure if this is meant to be jokey or not. Generally, I always err on the side of PK being clueless so I’ll assume not.

4. I think it’s not too much to ask that Peyton Manning and Manny Ramirez figure out how to get the snap right on the first play of the Super Bowl. Or is it?

Wow, Petey did a full 180 on this column. He’s not only being tough on Pey-Pey, he’s actually being an outright dick to him. Perhaps this is the negging approach to get Peyton in bed.

6. I think the first thing I look at, when a team in a baseball city wins the Super Bowl, is the baseball schedule.

Just kidding. PK already had it memorized.

Especially when stadiums are next door to each other. That wrecked the home opener for Baltimore last year. Good news, ’Hawk fans: Mariners at Rangers, 5:05 p.m. Pacific Time, on Sept. 4.

Awww, I kinda wanted another standoff between a football and baseball team. “You must cave to us. We’re loud!”

7. I think the NFL has to re-think its love of mass transportation and abandonment of cars at a Super Bowl, particularly at a venue where fans are so used to driving. And the Meadowlands is a driver’s paradise. When fans are still waiting to get a train or bus home two hours after the game, you’ve got a problem—especially when some of said fans have paid thousands to attend the event.

Damn straight. Wealthy people’s time means more! Get it together, public transit.

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

a. Pete Thamel was right: Best sports event in New York/New Jersey over the weekend was Duke-Syracuse college hoops.

Totally makes up for when he blew the Manti Te’o story.

d. I’m really hoping the ridiculously unseasonable day Sunday won’t cause too many NFL owners to pound fists on tables and say, I want the Super Bowl in my town!

e. Look, what happened here is the NFL got lucky. Very lucky. Tell me the chances of it being 56 in mid-afternoon, with no wind, in East Rutherford on Feb. 2, historically. Six days earlier it was 7 degrees in mid-afternoon. So don’t tell me now the NFL should put Super Bowls outside in the north because this day proved you can. This day the NFL got a perfect window is what it proved.

Here we go. Peter couldn’t just not acknowledge that he spent four years pissing and moaning about the potential hazards of a cold weather, outdoor Super Bowl only for the game to actually be free to any inclement weather and absent of weather-related carnage. So now he’s been once again made to look like an idiot, he’s carrying on like a little brat who just lost a game. “YOU JUST GOT LUCK-KEE!” The NFL didn’t get lucky because they were marketing it as a potential snow game. You had reporters bitching yesterday that the space heaters in the stadium made them TOO WARM. If anything, this was different than what the league expected and prepared for. And if the worst-case scenario you cite is it being seven degrees, that’s warmer than the fucking playoff game that was played in Green Bay a few weeks back. That didn’t ruin the sport, did it? Of course not, because it wasn’t a change to your annual paid vacation to a warm destination where you get pampered. Fuck you.

f. New York/New Jersey swallowed the Super Bowl. If you live on the East Side of Manhattan, as I do, there was no indication anything different was up on Sunday.

Yes, it’s simply amazing that one event cannot command all the attention from a city of more than 8 million people like it can in, say, Indianapolis. CRIZZAZZLEBEANS! I’m sure if a New York team were involved, it would have been somewhat different. But not significantly. Sports people want to believe that everyone lives for their shit. If the Super Bowl’s audience is, say, 100 million viewers – that’s a lot of people. But it’s still only a third of the country. There are tons of people who don’t give a fuck about sports.

g. Coffeenerdness: Gregory’s Coffee … brought a few media guys there for a quick booster during the week in Manhattan. Very good lattes.

h. Beernerdness: Guinness is best served colder than the Irish like it. I know that because at a Super Bowl event Thursday night in the city, the bartender told us they were serving at normal American beer temperatures. Not trying to be revolutionary, but it’s just better colder.

Americans serve beer cold because American macrobrews taste like piss and coldness masks the flavor. Seems like something an actual beer snob would know.

i. The MMQB doesn’t go into hibernation now just because the football season is over. We’ll be daily throughout the offseason. Only shorter, thank God.

I’m sorry, are you acting like the meandering, overwritten nature of your columns is something that’s imposed on you? You have the freedom to make it as succinct as you like. IT’S YOUR FUCKING WEBSITE. Get fucked with a rusty chainsaw. I hate you so much.

Agreed Brick, I can’t read it anymore because it makes me want to do bad things.

Things like stuffing explosives up the ass of last night’s 911 truther then shoving him up PK’s ass and having Berkeley Breathed animate a narrative of the minutes leading up to and just after detonation in a multi-panel Bill the Cat reaction strip.

This one was particularly horrific. “Hey folks, you probably don’t know this because you’re not an uber beer snob like me, but beer tastes good cold. You’re welcome! In other news, tried a great Denver micro-brew called Coors Light…good nose, light color, cold.”

Well Bill Walsh had light O lines and kicked some ass, but yes the entiire NFC East save for Philadelphia realized that. It makes me wonder what would’ve happened if anyone with a brain other than Buddy Ryan was coaching that team.

@RWN…except Elway’s Broncos broke the AFC’s string of Super Bowl losses with a small, quick O-line that engaged in the much ballyhooed zone blocking scheme. Maybe that team was an outlier because of Terrell Davis, but still.

b. I think PK has no fucking clue about beer. Guinness is NOT better served cold. When it’s cold, the flavor molecules aren’t as mobile; and, it numbs your tongue. Dumbass.

III. I think the second prize from Bose was two lunches with PK.

4. I’m pretty sure the ’85 Bears were spoken of much as PK talks about the Seahawks. They were relatively young, with a 3rd-year QB in McMahon and everyone seemed to think they would dominate for years. They never made it to another Super Bowl. Just sayin’.

“Way to pat yourself on the back for finally allowing yourself to be convinced that you were wrong for years and years. Even his fuckups are triumphs.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself, Ape!

π. Drug overdose, if that’s what it turns out to be, is NOT something that “happened” to Philip Seymour Hoffman. A meteorite falling from the sky happens to you. He chose to snort or shoot this shit, much like Paul Walker chose to drive sports cars too fast. It’s more stupidity than tragedy.

7. “Clearly, Denver offensive coordinator Adam Gase should have called some double moves…”

Okay, I call bullshit… this is a (nearly) direct quote from an earlier column from another writer in mmqb. PK no doubt read this and glommed onto it as his own. There is NO way he is capable of that kind of football analysis. Double dumbass.

I heard national announcers saying that Seahawks were young and would be back even if they lost. Like they were saying, “Let Peyton have his win and you will get yours next year.”
There is no next year in the NFL.

Uh The Bucs put on a similar curb stomping in 02 only to succumb to what Pat Riley called the “disease of more.” The Bears would’ve at least got to the title game if not for McMahon getting cheap shotted by Charles Martin of the Packers. This team can be good for some time longer, but they eventually will succumb to the fact that they have to pay four or five players more money. Fact.

The Bears descent was more gradual than all of you are making it out to be. They made the playoffs 5 of the next 6 years after the Super Bowl and lost the NFC Championship to the 49ers in ’88, when Singletary was defensive player of the year. The ’80s Bears remind me of the current Packers. One championship, lots of playoff appearances, dominance over a shitty division.

In that last comment, I am thinking the those Bears are like these Packers regarding their place in the league (win a shitty division, lose to the 49ers/Giants in the playoffs), not their style of play, as it was opposite of the offensive Packers today.

I did not mean to imply that the Ditka Bears fell off a cliff…. they were very good for many years and made the playoffs regularly (in a hilariously bad NFC Central, it should be noted). But multiple championships?…. nah.

Part of the problem is comparing to the ’85 squad, one of the best defenses ever. So right it wasn’t a dramatic thing. FUCK that defense MURDERED teams. While not liking the squad because in Denver the closet frontrunner fan were all the fuck over; they were something to behold.

7. Actually, this is right on for PK’s football acumen. He points out very soon after in the column that Peyton was under pressure all night. Seattle’s front 7 (especially Avril, who I agree should have been the real MVP) was abusing Denver’s O-line. How, I wonder, does PK think slower-developing routes involving double moves will work when the D-line is on top of the QB within 3 seconds of the snap?

by “tastes better cold” he just means he no longer tastes all the roasted, dark flavors that make guiness a guiness and thus he’s able to get it into his gullet quicker.
so yeah, total dumbass about beer.

Who the hell said that yesterday proved the Super Bowl can be outdoors in a cold-weather city because it happened to be warm?

If the temperature had been -10F and there was a blizzard it still would’ve “proved” the Super Bowl can be in a cold-weather city because that’s exactly where it was. Also the game probably would’ve been way more entertaining.

Also, who the fuck are these strawmen he’s arguing against? I’m pretty sure there’s not anyone that understands the weather saying “Oh, hey, the temperatures were mild in one location in the US yesterday, thus by the transitive property of BS, every future Super Bowl held outdoors will be in mild weather.” Fuck you, PK

It’s just confirmation bias. When something happens that disagrees with an idiot’s pre-ordained conclusion they will dogmatically look for any evidence that points towards their conclusion and use it to prove that their view still remains the correct one.

As with all logical fallacies, it sheds light on PK’s inability to think cogently instead of actually giving insight into an issue. If it had been snowy, PK would’ve churned out a column with the same piss and vinegar attitude in support of his moronic bitching. Fuck a PK

ICRM, I fucking hate PK for many things, but I hate him most for ruining Allagash. While it’s not some amazing beer, it was a perfectly fine craft beer available at most bars around me. Now, because of Fat Man, I can’t even bring myself to order it anymore because I feel like Petey has made it such a joke that it’s no better than PBR or something. Fuck you, PK

In other word people are fucking morons and fall for beer company marketing that beer is supposed to ice fucking cold. In turn this passes over to lagers, stouts ales etc as the dumb as shit customer demands he drink be ICE FUCKING COLD. Little realising he has been drinking glorified semi frozen piss all his life, and when he actually gets a taste of actual beer/stout flavour he hates it, thus everything has to be served ICE FUCKING COLD.
Thanks America for fucking up a simple thing as beer/stout on tap by serving up pisswater for eons and convincing the customer that wrong is right and 2+2=5 and light beer should be drunk at all.

The average high for New York in February? 40 degrees. The low? 24 degrees.

But January is much worse, right? Try 36 degrees and 23 degrees.

Mind you, that’s the AVERAGE temperature which means quite a few days will be warmer. The 49 degree kickoff temperature wasn’t even that bizarre, even if it was much warmer than average. I’d wager the odds of a sub-freezing Super Bowl are less than 50/50.

It’s even better to know the two outdoor Super Bowls with colder temperatures were in the obviously warm host city of New Orleans.

ICRM, to hell with your “stats” and “logic”, you know if it had snowed or been too cold for PK’s liking, he would have been crowing “SEEEEE!! You can never have a game in a cold weather climate because it will ALWAYS snow or be too cold…Brrrr!”

A couple of months ago PK criticized a meteorologist that pointed out that historically there was a 5% chance of snow on February 2nd. PK argued that because it rarely snowed in the past on that date, it won’t affect whether it will snow on 2/2/2014.

It was like teaching probabilities to a monkey. Except monkeys only throw their own shiat, they don’t tend to eat it.

How much of a boring white asshole do you have to be to need to Shazam “More Bounce to the Ounce”? Was he seriously hearing that for the first time? I like to think PK now assumes Zapp is some hippity-hop group that all the kids just love.

Sill (to your first post); No it’s cool. I don’t really hate, dislike or not respect him or Brady as a player in spite of the media overkill. I like good players who don’t murder, torture dogs, rape, etc. and I feel fortunate in watching both play their careers. Also the C-Hox were excellent that day and I’m not sure another team in the NFL right now could’ve beaten them that day (although SF would have made it much closer). You again, are either mistaking me with someone else or something as I have never hated Manning, made fun of him yes, but absolutely never hated him in the slightest. If he would have still been a Colt and the same thing happened I would have been like everybody else and been really disappointed it was not a better game. I also probably would have been slightly rooting for the C-hox.

But then again I am the one who posted ten weird images for one lousy Sarah Jessica Parker joke.

Also originally I thought ‘goat narrative’ meant who was going to be the scapegoat for the loss.

Now on to your next group of posts: are you on something? You said you didn’t care but them you post the same thing, you must be at 60 now, of your killing of the straw man in your head. Well whatever rocks your boat, also; some cool images.

Most people masturbate, publicly or privately, rather spend their time counting other people’s posts, but whatever works.

@Moose

I remember things very differently re: your opinion of Manning.

But if I’m wrong, I’m wrong.

Me, on the other hand? I can’t fucking stand the guy and it has nothing to do with him personally. The QB who has lost more playoff games than anyone else shouldn’t have been in this discussion from the beginning, but fucktards like PK keep putting him on a pedestal upon which he clearly doesn’t belong.

As I think I’ve made clear.

If it had been anyone but the Fetushead at the helm, I would have been completely in support of the Broncs.

Manning is not the GOAT or the goat, plenty of blame to go around there.

It’s not a strawman, it’s a completely irrational hatred of a player based solely upon what idiots say about him.

Did I get carried away? Yeah, I already said that. I just thought that offering public conciliation for having done so merited some sort of conciliatory response in kind.

Sill, I’m confused as to the imagery of your “G.o.A.T. narrative.” I thought that the goat narrative you were referring to was the so-called: Greatest of All-Time narrative. Are you trying to say that Manning is being used as the scapegoat? Or that the narrative can be laid to rest now that we know that he might be one of the greatest regular season qb’s of all time, but is a slightly below average (11-12) post-season qb? Just wondering cause the imagery is what I think of as pictures of people being scapegoated/sacrificed/banished/what have ya.

“45 of which was Peter lying face down on the table, pounding his fists and yelling, “YOU WILL INDUCT THE DUNGE! HE’S MY FRIEND! INDUCT MY FRIEND! INDUCT MY FRIEND!” The other two were him taking coffee sip breaks.”

This is great. Especially if, like me, you picture PK as a combination of adult versions of Thurman Murman and Cartman.

It was a grim and tight-lipped Manning who stepped to the podium for his obligatory postgame session with the media in blue pin-striped suit and maroon tie with silver stripes. In front of several dozen reporters, boom mics and cameras, he sat looking as perplexed by what had happened on the field as the 80,000 in MetLife Stadium and the 100 million watching at home. Manning’s answers were perfunctory and unenlightening. In truth, he had no answers. And he did not crack a smile. This was a bitter veteran professional doing his league-mandated duty, looking as if he’d rather be anywhere else. You could tell this hurt.”

You can tell Mravic is clearly a PK direct hire that strives to become valedictorian of the Petey School of Writing. Jesus fucking Christ, you’re not Ernest Hemingway or something here…just fucking spit it out…I don’t need you set some some epic scene. No one cares what his suit was like or how many reporters were there. To summarize your epic paragraph, “Peyton Manning gave short answers after the Super Bowl that, along with his body language, indicated obvious disappointment.”

Maybe sportswriters will stop complaining when they have a Super Bowl in a normally somewhat warm city like Atlanta and they have a colossal weather and traffic disaster like a few weeks ago. No? Well, a boy can dream.

Actually, that happened during the last Super Bowl here (or maybe is the Final Four before the last one). Big ice storm paralyzed the city. Atlanta got blacklisted from the usual rotation Super Bowl cities (NO, Mia, Pasadena)…that is…until we decided to build a new stadium. Now, we’re back in with the cool crowd with our Anus Stadium!

I hope that every Superbowl (Hi Sarah!) in warm cities (Miami, New Orleans, etc) is hit with a fucking blizzard, and every Superbowl in cold cities (Indy, New York, etc) is warm and pleasant so the prevailing opinion is to play in the cold weather cities.

Don’t leave us hanging. We’ve got to know…did you decide on a cape or jacket for Joe Buck?! I vote jacket for its practicality, but a man in a cape certainly has a “look at me” aura about it. Can’t go wrong with either.

BTW, I browsed the full column for once just to see his HOF take, and he can go fuck himself for shitting on Andre Reed. I’m a Bills fans, so I’m obviously biased, but being part of a stacked offense is a double edged sword, one the one hand you get less defensive attention because the ball is spread around, but it also keeps the ball from coming to you as well. He really felt the need to slam the guy? Obviously is a democracy you fat fuck, or god knows what your personal hall of fame would look like. . .

I can’t believe I haven’t commented on this until now (I got infuriated and distracted by Fat Man’s usual horrible beer, HOF, travel, and weather comments); however, it should not be overlooked that PK attributed much of the Seahawks victory to a) loud “hippity hop” music at practice, and iii) a god damn hotel. I just can’t anymore! Stop with the damn nugget dumpster diving…neither of those things had anything to do with the win, and yet, PK thinks he’s fucking genius nugget-ier because caught these correlations!

The app, called “The Good Old Days”, will listen to any song and then provide a title and artist that matches the user’s age, gender, race, and ignorance level.

For example, when PK held up his phone in that moist, fatty appendage he calls a hand, and More Bounce to the Ounce played, the app would have given him these results: “Little Bells and Big Bells,” by Percy Faith.

What really stuck out to me this column was the “For those who think music…is a distraction, I have one score to point out” line. No one is arguing with PK’s obese ass that “thug” music ruins practice (love the inclusion of Earth, Wind and Fire or James Brown as a “one of the good ones” type example btw). I’m willing to bet that anyone who has ever played a sport has practiced to their favorite music. The fact that he even felt the need to include that or found it to be interesting leads me to believe that he originally thought that they’d lose BECAUSE of that. They didn’t “do it the right way” so, since PK is so obsessed with himself that he projects his own ignorance onto us, we should all be fascinated by this “unsightly” and “unorthodox” method of practice.

I love these truthers saying we need to INVESTIGATE. Congress spent a gagillion dollars investigating 9/11 and issued a 1000 page report. yet most of the people they blame in that report, like say former FBI head Louis Freeh, still gets paid millions for books and speaking engagements. these nutjobs want truth, they just dont want accountability.

Tony Dungy failing to make it into the Hall of Fame made my day on Saturday, if only because you know that PK had to be absolutely shitting on the credentials of a bevy of vastly qualified former players in order to further push for his buddy to get elected. (Honestly, you could pick any 5 of the 13 players on the ballot and done a fine job, yet just like the BBRAA, these clowns act like they’re engaging in a deep thought exercise.)

Then I remembered that since life isn’t fair, the overrated, oft-excused bigot will one day get elected and I was again depressed. Also, Dungy will probably make the HOF, too.

I don’t know about practices but basketball teams have been playing music during warm-ups for a long time and it doesn’t seem to affect them. I’m confused as to why “NFL TEAMS PLAY MUSIC DURING PRACTICE” is such a stunning thing.

1. “Much will be written and said about this game concerning Manning’s continued inability on the biggest of stages not to preform.” Is it too late to make PK’s editor Least?

2. I hate that PK likes the same music I do.

3. I like an ice cold beer as much as the next guy, but NOT STOUT YOU FAT FUCK. What is the opposite of a supertaster? It’s like PK had a bowl of Cap’n Crunch ten years ago and his shredded mouth hasn’t recovered yet.

4. I simply don’t believe that a chicken sandwich box lunch cost $102, not even in NYC. Didn’t happen.

c) Irish people don’t really drink “warm” beer. Their beer tastes aren’t all that different from ours. Cold lagers, growing craft scene — and they still like a nice creamy stout. The Irish actually make fun of the Brits for drinking “warm” beer.

d) Warm ales in Britain aren’t actually all that warm. They served at “cellar temparatures” — and cellars there aren’t all that warm. Reccomended cask ale serving temps are between 52-55F. That’s around the same range you’re supposed to serve a chilled white wine.

So in conclusion; PK is as terrible at being a beer snob as he is at good writering.

7. “Clearly, Denver offensive coordinator Adam Gase should have called some double moves…”

Monday morning quarterbacking is all well and good, however don’t fucking sit there on your podium and tell any of us that doing this, or doing that would have made a damn bit of difference in an epic curbstomping as what we saw Sunday. That’s like saying the ’85 Pats would have been better off running a couple of flea flickers. It just fucking stupid. Peyton Manning looked like he was being swarmed by bees. In a closer game you could say , yes maybe less dump off type of stuff or this or that but c’mon. You sound like an idiot , you over payed, over fed, over rated , leaky shit stinking ass-gas filled walking fucking air ship.

Alot of talk about repeating after a Super Bowl win. But yes, the ’85 Bears are a perfect example of a team so dominant that you find it hard to fathom them not repeating. But that kind of domination comes at a price. When you bring the sort of intensity that the dominant Super Bowl winners do, the physical and mental commitment of the players really takes alot out of them in the form of injuries and mental exhaustion. And the average career of a football player isn’t like that of a baseball player. I know I am not basing this next statment on any sort of actual data ( sort of like PK! ) but doesn’t seem like often times after an NFL season ends in a Super Bowl victory there seems to be a veteran player who finally gets his championship or gets one more that he will retire? Michael Strahan, Ray Lewis, Junior Seau ( in a losing effort) Harry Carson, Reggie White, John Elway. It’s a rough go. Repeating is not easy.