Claire’s has been selling T-shirts with the words “Aberchronic and Pinch” shown with a marijuana leaf, and also shirts with “Anti-Crombie” on them.

Though Claire’s had no comment on the suit, perhaps they, too were meant to be funny?

Our advice to Abercrombie? Stick to polo shirts.

CNBC ANCHOR: HELP WANTED

In response to an e-mail from a viewer wondering why CNBC isn’t being charged by New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer, along with Merrill Lynch and other Wall Street firms, as “a co-conspirator for putting [analysts] on TV,” CNBC anchor Ted David went with his gut instinct and e-mailed the following response: “Whom [sic] else are we to put on?”

But David told Bull’s Eye his e-mail had been misunderstood.

“It is not a matter of bad guest-gathering,” he said. “We talk to analysts because they are the ones who follow the stocks, they are the ones doing the analysis, they are the ones moving the market. We would be remiss if we did not put them on since they do move the market.

CABLEVISION BUZZ: DOLANS AT ODDS

Cablevision has plenty to worry about these days.

The company is at war with the YES network, which is trying to get onto its cable systems.

It is struggling to turn around the Knicks without much luck.

And the company’s stock is down some 62 percent in the last year.

Now the Dolans, who control Cablevision, may have another problem: civil war in the family.

Chuck Dolan, the family patriarch who built the Cablevision empire, is said to be unhappy with how the company is being run by his son Jimmy.

Not so, say the folks at Cablevision.

“My father lives right next door to me, I see him and talk to him every day,” explains Jimmy. “We have a great relationship as father and son. Whoever reported that to you doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Many on Wall Street have been skeptical of the company’s strategy under Jimmy, which has included acquiring The Wiz retailer out of bankruptcy and the Clearview Cinemas movie chain, among other things.

So if Chuck has such a problem with his son, why doesn’t he do something about it? After all, he controls the company he spent his lifetime building.

The word is that Jimmy has a supporter who not even tough-as-nails Chuck can budge: his mother.

That’s also false, say Cablevision execs.

GOLDMAN IS NO LONGER KING OF THE JUNK YARD

Institutional investors, hungry for yield, are pumping money into junk bonds, sparking a surge in new issuance for the riskier sibling of investment grade debt.

April new issues raised $9 billion, well over last April’s $7.2 billion.

And Wall Street – suffering from a year-long deal drought – is happy for the business.

So which investment banks are raking it in on the back of new junk?

Not Goldman Sachs, which dropped to seventh place this year from third last year.

League tables from Thomson Financial shows Credit Suisse First Boston in the lead, cornering 16.9 percent of the market share for global high yield new issuance so far this year.

* #2: Salomon Smith Barney: 12.7 percent

* #3: Deutsche Bank: 12.1 percent

* #4: JP Morgan Chase: 10.2 percent

* #5 Bank of America Securities: 8.8 percent

And UBS Warburg has surged ahead from tenth place last year to sixth place.

A Goldman spokesman said that four months are not statistically significant and the firm has a strong backlog of deals.

Also interesting is Dresdner Kleinwort Wasserstein giving Merrill Lynch a run for the high yield money this year.

Dresdner has scored 2.1 percent of the market share so far this year, on the heels of Merrill Lynch, in tenth place with 3.3 percent.

The Week’s Winners & Losers

WINNERS:

Emil Wilbekin: The Vibe magazine editor stunned the industry when he beat out perennial favorite The New Yorker for a National Magazine Award for General Excellence.

Christos Cotsakos: Here’s proof there’s still some life in them dot-coms. No. 3 Internet brokerage firm E*Trade paid its CEO a whopping $77 million in 2001, more than quadruple what any Wall Street CEO earned.

Eric Schmidt: The chairman and CEO of popular search engine Google beat out rival Overture and struck a deal with AOL to provide search services.

Carly Fiorina: The Hewlett-Packard CEO received a judge’s and shareholder approval for her planned $18.2 billion purchase of Compaq.

LOSERS:

Steve Bornstein: The president of ratings-deprived ABC Television may have had the midas touch at ESPN, but he couldn’t fit in the crowded executive suite at ABC Television. He resigned as president after one year on the job.

Bob Love: The managing editor of Rolling Stone magazine was given the heave-ho by boss Jann Wenner after failing to beef up circulation.

Anne Mulcahy: The chairman and CEO of Xerox watched her stock tumble after Moody’s downgraded the company on concern about its high debt burden and slowing sales.

Scott McNealy: Sun Microsystems’ CEO has lost five top execs in the past month and has seen his stock plunge. The latest departure was his president and COO Ed Zander.

Looking for a new job?

You just might just want to sign your cover letter with a purple pen.

A new study says purple pen users are the best workers.

The study, commissioned by Pilot Pen Corp. of America, seems designed to get people to break out of the boring blue or black pen habit.

Here are some more must-know findings from the survey:

* Women who use red pens are most likely to work extra hours with no extra pay.

* Men who use eraseable pens are least likely to be helpful to the boss.

* Women who prefer green pens are most likely to be the office “pen hog” – squirreling away a dozen or more pens in their file drawers.