Tag: Recruiting

DARWIN, Texas — Many aspiring Marines do everything they can to embrace their future career, but Zachary Greenville takes it one step further: Counting down his days until his end of active-duty service. “Watching boot camp videos on YouTube and making Recruit Training graduation calendars is boot shit,” Greenville, a poolee in the Corps’ delayed entry program, […]

WASHINGTON — Early Wednesday, Pentagon officials announced that the Army will spend $2 billion this year to recruit 20,000 migrants currently fleeing Syria in an attempt to meet their retention goal for fiscal year 2015. “We have tried everything so far but keep falling short,” said Maj. Gen. Thomas Semands, commander of Army Human Resources Command. […]

NAVAL STATION NORFOLK, Va. — In the wake of a series of high-profile scandals involving top-ranking Air Force and Army officials, the Navy’s senior leadership is scrambling to bolster its image of sexual prowess in order to compete with the other services for officer recruits. “After Tailhook, we rode high for years,” said Rear Adm. Thomas Marotta, deputy […]

FORT KNOX, KY — The U.S. Army Recruiting Command’s top officer was called to testify before Congress after an investigation by the Inspector General’s office determined that powerful subliminal messages were hidden within the iconic “Army Strong” recruiting song, commonly used as a background soundtrack in Army recruiting commercials and videos. In testimony before the House […]

NEW ORLEANS, LA – Earlier today, Private Jackson Smith took the oath of enlistment, which would make him a proud soldier in the United States Army. But the joke is on Smith’s superiors because he secretly crossed his fingers behind his back as he recited the hallowed words – thereby nullifying anything he was promising to […]