Because it's the weekend before Memorial Day weekend, here's a compilation video of unusual ways to open beer bottles. Maybe you'll learn something you can use to impress your friends next weekend while you're all getting drunk and grilling or whatever the hell people with friends do on Memorial Day. Sadly, I lost my last friend over a year ago. "To drugs?" No, to being an @$$hole. But enough about that dickbag, we're here to talk about beer. I like opening my bottles the way I imagine farmers kill chickens: cutting their heads off with a ninja sword then drinking the blood to ensure a bountiful fall harvest. Can you tell I was home sick on farm field trip day? Sucks too because a kid on the bus told me they witnessed a goat orgy and our teacher was freaking out about it and Old MacDonald was all, "Aw miss, they's just bonin'."

Hit the jump for the happiest hour in action.

Thanks to Ram, who opens his beers the way nature intended: with his horns.