Dita does not travel like regular people do. This is how Dita travels:

Dita Von Teese catches a flight out of LAX and arrives in Nice, France in a Blumarine skirt accessorized with a Dolce&Gabbana bag and Dita Von Teese eyewear.

Blumarine Spring 2014 Collection

Dolce&Gabbana Spring 2012 Collection

She’s shaming us all.

Granted, the idea of wearing a sheer anything on an airplane strikes us pretty ludicrous, but still. Practicality is not what Miss Dita is here for. Fabulosity is the only thing on the menu. Peasants and philistines need not apply.

But seriously, girl; sit on your coat. We don’t care if it is first class; you don’t know what happened the last time someone sat in your seat. Then again, we wouldn’t be a bit surprised if that picnic basket of a bag held an industrial strength can of Lysol for just that reason. Miss Dita gives the impression that she comes prepared for all eventualities.

THOSE GLASSES!!! Oh my soul – I need a pair! What do you even call that frame shape?

boweryboy

Bitchshape for bitchface?

Carrie

It almost looks like a tear drop. Whatever they are, they are amazing

idlewild

I think they’re called Butterfly shaped. I’ve a similar sort of soft-jawline rounded oval shape face and they’re my go-to look, they help balance it out and draw the eye upwards without being too bulky or too wide (cats-eye do too, but sometimes look too wide on my face, I need longer length frames like these)

Man, I really overthink my prescription eyewear…

MsMajestyk

No, no you don’t. As a fellow glasses wearing Bitter Kitten, if you find something that works for you, stick with it. I love the glasses I have now so much, that I bought an identical pair when I found them again. Too much of a headache to look for good frames! I’m now on the hunt for another pair for Rx shades.

SewingSiren

She never has a day off, does she?

MoHub

I think she may have once.

Denise Alden

If she does, they are not for public consumption, are they?

Melissa Brogan

She dresses “normal woman” for Halloween. Blonde wig and blue jeans.

Not applicable

LOVE IT!

kimmeister

She took her hair out of the ponytail and it’s still immaculate, pfffft. I wish I could see what that coat looks like closed. It appears to be a pretty awesome coat.

Lucía Gavello

That was my first thought, her hair is enviable… so is her everything else. Sigh.

http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

Did she zhuzh her hair as she left the airport? I cannot imagine her doing that sort of thing in public! (sheer skirts must stop now, please)

ballerinawithagun

Amazing! I love this skirt but it probably would have looked even better with the butterflies appliqued onto ecru silk dupioni. (I’m running to my applique machine right now!) That purse may be perfectly made but a straw purse will always snag a delicate fabric; that skirt will be snagged and shredded. Those shoes, so lovely, so sensible!

kimmeister

I was pleased at the sensible, yet still chic, shoe choice too!

alyce1213

Those are Park Avenue lady shoes – chic, comfortable, expensive.

Chickadeep

Me too! I adore those shoes — simple, chic, not too tricky or high. The refined, summer-at-the-country-club bag and shoes provide counterpoint to the embellished skirt and the slightly outre glasses. That is some pro-level accessorizing going on there.

Eclectic Mayhem

I’m now imagining a Dita Von Teese version of that Eve Arnold shot of Marilyn Monroe in an airport bathroom…

Vtg Fashion Library

I’m imagining a game of “Guess What’s in Dita’s Bag.” That could be fun.

boweryboy

She is shutting it down, as always but it must be exhausting being her. Some days I agonize over what to wear just to work and I spend most of my time sitting in a cubicle staring at a computer.

RussellH88

She’s really an old school star. She knows what people wants and she delivers at all times.

That’s some Joan Crawford level abilities.

AnaRoW

Really? What exactly does she do?

RussellH88

What do you mean?

AnaRoW

You called her an old-school star. When I hear “star”, I think singers, actors, athletes, etc.. The only thing I know about her is her marriage to Marilyn Manson. I wanted to know if she was an actress or something.

PastryGoddess answered my question. Thanks.

conniemd

I got yelled at for asking the same question. I admit that being the best burlesque dancer is celebrity, but it seriously isn’t within my realm of entertainment, though it floats other’s boats. Previously I thought she just got photographed because she looked so fabulous all the time. (as I see Glam Dixie said.)

Glam Dixie

Appear mind blowingly fabulous at ALL TIMES, perhaps?

PastryGoddess

She’s a burlesque dancer AKA a fancy stripper. She travels all over the world doing shows.

I saw her Strip, Strip Hooray show. It was a really fun night.

Danielle

Those are the fiercest fucking sunglasses I’ve ever seen.

PastryGoddess

Bitch sat on a plane for 7 hours and got off looking like THAT

*Bows the fuck down*

Denise Rambo

She was on that plane for a lot longer than 7 hours. Expedia says the shortest flight is 13 hours, 40 minutes with only a 70 minute layover. That makes her appearance even MORE impressive.

PastryGoddess

Damn, I forgot she had to come all the way from the West Coast.

*snaps of respect*

Danielle

I don’t think Miss Dita experiences layovers like the rest of us plebs. She’s probably got a G5 that takes her nonstop.

http://www.chifleschips.com Stefanie Argudo Mackenzie

She might have been in a personal pod in First Class. There’s everything but a shower in those.

Imasewsure

She probably changes in to a peignoir set mid-flight. This is just her landing and taxi outfit… Love huh!!

Jessica Freeman

I love that the shirt looks pretty casual with a fancy skirt. Which I wished was lined because the half sheer is killing me.

MilaXX

Love it! Covet the glasses. Ms. Dita knows her job is to be “on” at all times and does not disappoint.

KinoEye

Those shades are mine, in some parallel universe/daydream, where I am Dita Von Teese and life is fabulous. Oh, would that it were so.

ballerinawithagun

Madonna needs to take lessons from Dita.

Anna Vasquez

Random reference, but there’s this part in the Chronicles of Narnia books (The Horse and His Boy), when one of the horses meets Aslan for the first time? And she immediately recognizes that he is God and prostrates herself to him and says, “Please, you’re so beautiful, you may eat me if you like. I’d rather be eaten by you than fed by anyone else.”

Yeah. That. For Dita.

smayper

I absolutely love that scene. And it’s extremely weird when you’re not 10 years old.

Anna Vasquez

True of the entire series after Lion, Witch, & Wardrobe, come to think of it. But I still love them, so…

BlairBear

Those frames do weird things to her face but she looks great

AnnaleighBelle

Those glasses made me giggle with happiness. I can admire and know I could never pull those off.

GillianHolroyd

Miss DvT is a little mannered for my tastes (like another poster said, so exhausting) but I love every stitch of this look, except for the sunglasses which are doing weird things to the shape of her face.

Glam Dixie

It must be exhausting to be the fabulous Dita Von Teese.

numenah

This is the stuff of fantasy.Lurve every single bit and must find cheap versions of shoes and bag.

Anna

I love that in Dita’s world, travelling is still an event to be dressed up for. Snaps of respect.

Tracy_Flick

I know, right? This is the look my grandma was going for in 1963. And I mean that as the highest compliment. Glamour, fashion, sophistication.

Anna

I love vintage travel photos and posters for that very reason.

For Mother’s Day this year, my brother, sister and I rooted through a whole bunch of Super 8 footage we found of our grandparents and had them converted to DVD for our mom. Absolutely dying at the vacation footage of our grandparents. They weren’t wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but what they wore to the airport then looked lightyears better than a lot of celebrities on the red carpet these days.

Trent

What an awesome MD present! And I know exactly what you mean. When I look at old shots of my parents in the mid-60’s just going shopping or to the neighbor’s to play cards my mom looked like Dorothy freaking Dandridge. Then I look at the ratty camo shorts that I wore to brunch last week and I am Deeply Ashamed.

On topic: Miss Dita is a Glam Goddess and we should all bow down and try harder.

Anna

Yes, finding those videos were the ultimate treasure, to say the least. I never knew any of my grandparents (my mom’s dad did technically meet me, but he passed a few months after I was born), so it was nice to see them in their heyday. I’m sure my grandma would not approve of what I’m wearing to the office today or “Casual Fridays” in general.

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

I recently flew (on a plane, not my broom) and the people sitting around me all snickered when I made my kiddo wait until I’d wiped the arm rests, tray tables and anything else solid with my clorox wipes. And then the baby sitting two rows up started vomiting all over the seats and arm rests and trays and I just smiled at them. And when the baby pooped and it’s mother changed it’s diaper on the seat and then left the poopy diaper ON HER TRAY TABLE until the flight attendant came by with a trash bag, I smiled even bigger while everyone else looked queasily at their tray tables where they’d just been resting their snacks and drinks. But, hey! I’m crazy for whipping out my clorox wipes, right?

Glam Dixie

I guess there is a certain amount of snickering at the germaphobes but sometimes it’s just good common sense, like not laying on your hotel comforter. Ew.

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

Or not sitting on the shower floor in the dorm bathrooms to shave your legs.

holla

I just threw up in my mouth.

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

I’m sorry. May I offer you an air sickness bag and an Altoid?

Glam Dixie

o/

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

You forgot your pom-poms! *o/*

Glam Dixie

Stupid people need signs. Don’t sit on gross, communal shower floors naked. Don’t eat or drink off of this, you don’t know where it’s been. Etc. Common sense is waning. We are so off topic. Dita has bleach wipes in her wicker bag, fabulously scented ones, of course.

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

Don’t have sex in hot tubs!

Granny panties

I once bought Prada infusion d’iris handiwipes at winners. Dita likely has something like that JAR perhaps.

kimmeister

People sit on the floor to shave?

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

My sister did. And it became a very important life lesson, which my mother passes on to every child in the family who goes off to college.

kimmeister

I won’t use communal showers without flip flops; if I won’t allow my feet to touch where others’ feet have been, I can’t even imagine resting my hooha down there.

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

Let me give you a squirt of Purell and then I’ll high five you, too.

mlurve

I used to, but while I was still in middle and high school and living at home. I had to learn to balance once I moved on to college and shared a shower with 7 other ladies.

Gatto Nero

Whoa.
No.

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

And my sister was supposed to be the *smart* one.

http://www.chifleschips.com Stefanie Argudo Mackenzie

You go, mama. I bet every last one of them got off that plane and RAN to the nearest drug store to purchase their own pack of Clorox wipes.

Some years ago my late hubby was sitting with some fancy full bird Colonel on a flight..they were going to some conference from the USAFA where they both worked. The little boy in front of them stood up, draped himself over the top of the seat, tried to talk to them and proceeded to projectile vomit all over the Officers’ uniform. Ugh.

Two years ago I got some weird bug in Las Vegas. Was in a condo there (I have a time share) with my daughter. Woke up in the middle of the night and proceeded to projectile hurl to the point I hit a wall 3 feet away; more than once. At one point I told my daughter I needed a seat belt for the toilet. Before we checked out I sent the kiddo to get a bottle of Clorox and some cleaning stuff. I disinfected that place top to bottom and washed all the linen. Told housekeeping about why the place reeked of bleach.

Fordzo, Im sure there was lots of smug, I told you so…kind of looks when you got off.

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

I LOVE CLOROX WIPES!!!

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

Let’s go wash our hands together and then, HIGH FIVE!!!

YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

And then scrub our hands with PURELL!!!

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

PaRtY!!!

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

My other tip for flying, if anyone cares, is that I give my adorable child (I’m not just bragging. He has braces and glasses and red hair and it’s a powerful combination) a bag of candy to give the FA’s. Mommy gets free booze all the way to her destination.

And Bose noise cancelling headphones. I could *see* the baby wailing, but I couldn’t *hear* the baby.

Tracy_Flick

Candy for the FAs from the cutie pie – BRILLIANT!

Danielle

I’m THAT mom when it comes to travel and eating. We can get our heads examined together.

demidaemon

I love your preparedness and your silent gloating.

Wendi126

Yes. She is definitely my favorite fashion celebrity on TLo. I find her fascinating and I marvel how she puts herself together so consistently and always interesting. And her cleavage is stunning

http://attiresmind.blogspot.com/ Kiltdntiltd

This, lesser mortals, is how one travels.

ashtangajunkie

Mag-fucking-nificent.

Chuck Barthelme

Gotta hand it to a burlesque dancer that she looks just as awesome with clothes on as with them off.

Sarah

Sheer skirts SHOULD die, but damn if she doesn’t look perfectly elegant in that sheer skirt. And her accessory game is on POINT. I even love her weird ass half-moon manicure. Sigh. She is divine.

kimmeister

BUT, not divine enough to keep her cardigan from gapping at her bust.

Sarah

It is merely her divine boobies, straining to be free.

demidaemon

Indeed, they are next to Godliness.

@Biting Panda

Like a fucking Lady!

Janet B

Sigh….I look more rumpled and I just came back from the dentist.

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

That’s like an 18 hour flight. Let’s all imagine what she wore ON the plane? Leggings? Do you think that she even OWNS leggings?

Kayceed

She studies ballet – I imagine she has many leggings, but they are only worn far from prying eyes for a specific purpose. For daywear? The horror!

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

Play along – what do you think she changed into for the flight? I know Dita has magical powers and probably flew whatever class is ABOVE first class, but there is no way that outfit could remain so wrinkle free after a flight that long. She had to change into something.

Kayceed

If I consult my English and French “what to wear” books of yesteryear (as I so often do, and imagine Miss Dita does as well), she could quite appropriately slip into a dressing gown, matching slippers and eye mask for the voyage.

formerlyAnon

If she were able to be away from prying eyes, I’m betting yoga-type pants and the soft, stretchy, cotton rags all dancers seem to inhabit like 2nd skins for comfort. On a plane – I can’t imagine, but over top of the underpinnings would be an elegant mid-century or earlier peignoir (robe).

YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

Oh, I agree. There is no way she got on the play looking lilke that.

Fordzo a.k.a. Fancy Mukluks

Next time I fly, I’m packing a HAZMAT suit.

kimmeister

Yes, she does! There was a post on here a while back of her post Pilates. (Looking still fabulous, of course.)

Mars Tokyo

Leggings are NOT pants and shouldn’t be worn in place of them.

formerlyAnon

Love everything but the sheer skirt. (Well, I admit the love for the purse is extremely ensemble-dependent.) And I admit she’s making that skirt work, barely, even for me.

Pennymac

Swooning from the fierce…………….

mjude

bowing down. I want those glasses!

bitchybitchybitchy

Dita doesn’t rumple. Love.

Chickadeep

Rumpling is beneath her. I’ve seen paparazzi shots of her leaving the gym and even then she looks more pulled together than half the people on the average red carpet.

bitchybitchybitchy

I think this is what I love about Dita-she’s committed to looking her best,and she rarely, if ever, lets her fans down in that regard.

decormaven

Bowing down….

Chickadeep

She is so exquisitely pulled together at all times, and while she stays within her retro-glam fashion wheelhouse pretty consistently, she’s never boring. It’s like the Universe created her to balance out Helena Bonham-Carter, another star with retro leanings who remains firmly in her disheveled, batshit Victorian-Goth wheelhouse but is also never boring.

Valdri8

She looks exactly like my mother circa 1955. It sometimes makes me think that I am looking at pictures of her.

TLo when I am panhandling outside of Honey’s Sit and Eat because I have lost my house due to excessive blog-posting, I will be the one who looks like she could be the kid of DVT. Maybe I could cat sit.

Guest

If only everyone dressed to that extent when they flew. I’m sit of seeing shorts, t shirts and sweatpants! Slobs.

altalinda

She looks like that after a trans-Atlantic flight?!? I’m in awe.

nycfan

Did she take down her hair before going outside and it looks like that? How does she do that? Sunglasses are fabulous.

AmyP

This is how I want Christina Hendricks to look.

Sam Smith

I DO like that D&C bag.

http://www.bertkeeter.com Bert Keeter

A private jet awaits…. I hope?

FibonacciSequins

I admire her 24/7 dedication to presentation, and I want everything she’s wearing/carrying. Exquisite.

marlie

Forget practicality; Miss Dita is lovely as usual. Way to bring the old-school glamour that used to come with traveling.

Linda LaPaz

Those glasses are the epitome of cat’s eye frames! The ne plus ultra!

numenah

Different, surprisingly combined textures can make a monochromatic look sing.

Qitkat

Dita von Teese is hermetically sealed every time she boards a plane.

newidentity

In my next life I would like to come back as Dita.

Shawn EH

Wearing her own glasses and letting her hair down en passant? I live for her.

ktr33

swoooooooooooooooooooooon

FridaStaire

LOVE how she’s doing the averted face incognito shit….as if!!!

http://tvblogster.blogspot.com Boop

She’s sensational. Hands down.

Granny panties

So gorgeous. I just love to admire her. I have a coffee table book of hers, always great to flip through when the daily glamour quotient is low.

http://sharialbert.com shazziz

I feel ALIVE and NEEDING those GLASSES

LJCdoc

I’m obsessing over her feet. Anybody know where those shoes are from?

LadyVimes

I want to be Dita when I grow up.

Mrs. O

Why does she irritate me so? I dare not say what I think. I’m incapable of fairness because she IRRITATES me so! She is like that girlfirend your teenaged daughter brings home and you are just sure she is not an OK friend and you can’t explain yourself, but you know you’re right.

Mrs. O

And, hint to young mothers: The strategy for dealing with these undesirable friends of your daughter is to smother them in a welcome embrace and kill them with remote and mysterious kindness that says, “Poor You! I know exactly what your game is! Come here and give me a big hug, you reprehensible piece of baggage!” She will drop your daughter because you make her nervous. Worked for me.

musi_

I’m just impressed she had all of these items in her closet to be able to match this well… the shoes! And it’s not even annoying matchy… ugh, we are not worthy

http://weirdinedgewise.blogspot.com ONEWEIRDWORD

Could she be any more fabulous?

DesertDweller79

I NEED those sunglasses! OMG. Those are so awesome. The skirt would be incredibly fabulous if it weren’t sheer. It is still almost fabulous. She’s amazing.

ellisd123

I love how “hair up” is her version of casual.

http://kittysdrawings.com Esz

That looks like a perfectly comfortable traveling outfit to me. Trackie-pants are the BANE of long haul travel. Ugh. The airport is not your bedroom.
We should all look up to Dita

forcingasmile

She looks fab but I kinda wish she would move out of the way because I want to see the rest of the dude in the sunglasses behind her in the second-to-last photo.

ricky rocky

she’s everything

DuBey2

The Coat! The Coat! Someone please tell me who the Coat! is by?

venusvelvet

She inspires me to put in more effort.

cocohall

I don’t care how she achieves this, fairies, elves, gay uncles, trolls digging in mines, it is literally breathtaking. Both subtle (in the coloring) and dramatic in the design. Bless her for caring about beauty in a way that is meant to be shared. She is giving a show even if you haven’t bought a ticket.

macwell

I love this b***h. That’s all.

bringbackbeatles

Wow. I love everything and I have to admire someone who dresses up like this to catch a flight. I love the monochromatic look against her porcelain skin. I myself am a pale gal and wouldn’t think of that color, but it’s amazing on her. Those sunglasses are frickin’ fierce! Everything down to the bag is perfect. She just stepped out of a magazine from another decade when flying was an affair that required the best dressing.