911, how can I help you?I’ve fallen and I can’t get upI’m sorry sir, but you sound young and healthy to me!Yes, I’m only 18, but I’m in my dorm roomRED ALERT! Man down in the dirt! I’ll call the paramedics right away..! Can you still breathe, sir?… barely … gasp … I … don’t know… if I c-c-can … errrk … make…. (spasm) … it … Hold on, sir, help is on the way. Sir? SIR?! OH MY GOD, THE HORROR! The (choke) horror…! Sir!! Can you HEAR me?!