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Guest Mikaela

Guest Mikaela

I can't forgive him.I wish he would find a girl marry her and move away.I wish he wasn't part of my life. Like an ex you don't have to ever see again. I wish I could go to a family party and actually enjoy not hoping he would show up just to see him. I want to be normal again and not worry so much about making an impression. oh how I regret everything that happened.

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You've "Lazarused" this thread, but, perhaps it is a relevant topic of late.

I'm not with my cousin, and never will be. I've known this would be the case for many years now. However, we have got over the awkward of it, and enjoy what very infrequent face time we get. We let our youthful time together be very awkward for DECADES. We were estranged for many years. And yes, family functions which we both attended, while not often, were always awkward. We didn't go out of our way to avoid each other, but it always seemed we managed to avoid each other out of "awkward." I also think there was a subliminal reluctance to spend too much time together because we would be tempted to re-fire the shenanigans. Had we not waited until we were nearly 50 yrs old to reconnect and air it all out, we would have risked great heartache and carnage on our respective relationships. Unlike you, we don't regret what happened, just how we dealt with it. We do regret that we let it be awkward for all those years, but, as I said, it was probably for the best in the grand scheme of things.

I do have an ex (well, 3 of them actually, LOL) which I don't see. The first one, it's just as well. The second one, meh, she wasn't too bad, and I actually call her "The Good Ex-wife" hahaha. The last one, I don't see, but, I'm not so sure its totally "just as well". While neither of us want to go back, we do have unfinished business. I actually had to forward some mail to her today, because we cannot manage to be in each others presence. It's a shame, but, it is what it is. The end started out amicably enough, but, as seems to always be the case, it got nasty before it got over. Maybe someday, we will be able to be civil enough to finish our business, and then, we can totally go our separate ways. Of course, if I get in the position I'm working toward, to where I can finish this business, she will most likely be quite willing to be civil for the 5 min. or so it would take to do so. She can be quite professional when the situation calls for it. Plus, as Denchim said, time does soften it. I was pretty jaded and a little more than p*ssed off when it all went south, but now, I know it is what it is, and there's no sense in holding on to the hard feelings and letting it eat away at me. There have been a couple little irritating incidents since the divorce, but, hey, 30 minutes later, I'd let it go. She'll do fine on her own, and I'm doing fine on my own.

You don't mention the circumstances that lead you to this point, so, it's kind of hard to advise you beyond that. That you just have to give it time, and let the feelings diminish, and let it go. In time, you will be able to forgive and forget.