Moonlighting s03e08 Episode Script

It's a Wonderful Job

* SOME WALK BY NIGHT * * SOME FLY BY DAY * * SOMETHING IS SWEETER * * 'CAUSE WE MET ON THE WAY * 'CAUSE WE MET ON THE WAY * * IT'S LOVELY WEATHER * * FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOU * * DING-A-LING LING DING DONG DING * * DING-A-LING LING DING DONG DING * * DING-A-LING LING DING DONG DING * HELLO! OH, HI, MOM. I WAS GOING TO CALL YOU, BUT THINGS JUST- NO. I KNOW THAT. NO, I'M SURE I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO MAKE IT HOME. MOTHER, THE ENTIRE OFFICE HAS TO WORK THROUGH CHRISTMAS. I DIDN'T PLAN IT THIS WAY. SOMETHING JUST CAME UP. NO, I KNOW THAT. I'M SORRY. NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN TO THE HOSPITAL YET. NO. I KNOW I'M AUNT RUTH'S ONLY FAMILY OUT HERE. I KNOW SHE'S BEEN VERY ILL, BUT I'VE JUST BEEN SO- I PROMISE. TONIGHT. I'LL GO TO THE HOSPITAL. I EVEN HAVE A CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR HER. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS LATER? NO, NOTHING'S THE MATTER. I'M JUST TRYING TO RUN A BUSINESS, THAT'S ALL. I'VE GOT TO GO. MOTHER, I ONLY GOT A FEW HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT. LET ME CALL YOU BACK. YES! TONIGHT! YES. AFTER I SEE AUNT RUTH. YES. GOOD-BYE. GIVE MY LOVE TO DAD. BYE. AHEM. * IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS * * EVERYWHERE YOU GO * TREE-TRIMMING PARTY IN THE LOBBY AT 10:00. UH-HUH. * WITH CANDY CANES AND SILVER LANES AGLOW * * IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS * * TOYS IN EVERY STORE * * BUT THE PRETTIEST SIGHT YOU'LL SEE * HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOUNG LADY. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE TREE-TRIMMING PARTY. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO TO THE TREE-TRIMMING PARTY. TAKE YOUR TREE, AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR SACK, MACK. MISS DIPESTO, WHAT'S GOING ON? NOTHING'S GOING ON, IT'S ALL COMING OFF. WE'RE UNDECKING THE HALLS. EXCUSE ME, BUT THE QUICKER WE GET THIS DONE, THE QUICKER WE CAN GET OUR NOSES BACK TO THEIR GRINDSTONES. I TAKE IT THIS REFERS TO MY MEMO? WHAT MEMO? OH, YOU MEAN, THE MEMO ABOUT WORKING CHRISTMAS? I THINK I REMEMBER TAKING A GLANCE AT THAT MEMO. HEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THE DECORATIONS DOWN. SAYS WHO? I MEAN, NO POINT IN HANGING OUT THE STOCKING WHEN SANTA AIN'T COMING TO TOWN. BLUE MOON DETECTIVE AGENCY. IF YOUR STOCKING GETS STOLEN AND YOUR TREE CAN'T BE FOUND, YOU MAY AS WELL CALL US 'CAUSE WE'LL BE AROUND. WE HAVE TO WORK CHRISTMAS, SO IF YOU'RE IN A PINCH, JUST GIVE BLUE MOON A JINGLE AND ASK FOR THE GRINCH. EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME, EVERYONE. I KNOW YOU'RE ALL VERY UPSET. I KNOW I PROMISED YOU CHRISTMAS WEEK OFF. BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT MR. HAMILTON'S COURT DATE WAS MOVED UP TO THE 28th. IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT THERE'S NO WAY WE CAN GET THROUGH ALL THIS PAPERWORK IF WE TAKE TIME OFF FOR CHRISTMAS. IT'S NOT MY FAULT. I DIDN'T SET OUT TO RUIN ANYONE'S HOLIDAY, BUT WE TOOK THIS CASE, AND I FEEL WE HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO HONOR OUR COMMITMENT. IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION TO ANY OF YOU, I FEEL REALLY TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS. GOOD! FINE. MERRY CHRISTMAS. OOHA LITTLE COLD IN HERE. JACK FROST NIPPING AT YOUR MOOD? ONE WEEK. ONE EXTRA WEEK OF WORK. GRANTED, IT'S A HOLIDAY WEEK, BUT, DAVID, I'M NOT ASKING THEM TO DONATE A KIDNEY. I DON'T APPRECIATE BEING TREATED LIKE CAPTAIN BLIGH. WELL, SAY SOMETHING. AYE, AYE. MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T MAKE THEM SWAB THE DECK ON CHRISTMAS. DAVID, I AM AS UNHAPPY ABOUT THIS AS THEY ARE, BUT BUSINESS IS BUSINESS. IT'S CHRISTMAS, MADDIE. CHRISTMAS. YOU REMEMBER CHRISTMAS? HOME AND HEARTH DONNER AND BLITZEN BAH AND HUMBUG. I'M SORRY, BUT WHATEVER HAPPENED TO GRATITUDE? THOSE PEOPLE DO HAVE STEADY JOBS, AND BENEFITS, AND CHRISTMAS BONUSES. I'M NOT QUITE SURE THEY THINK OF THE CHEEZE WHIZ SAMPLER AS A BONUS. BE THAT AS IT MAY, I WAS THE ONE WHO SCRIMPED AND SAVED DURING THE LEAN TIMES. I WAS THE ONE WHO COVERED THE PAYROLL WHEN THERE WAS NO MONEY IN THE ACCOUNT. I WAS THE ONE WHO MADE SURE THEY HAD A JOB IN THE MORNING WHEN THEY GOT HERE. AND WHEN I NEED A FAVOR- A FAVOR IS SOMETHING YOU ASK SOMEONE FOR. YOU NEVER ASKED THEM. OK, FINE. WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO, CALL MR. HAMILTON UP AND SAY, "MR. HAMILTON, "I'M SORRY. WE CAN'T TAKE THIS CASE "BECAUSE EVERYONE HERE HAS VISIONS OF SUGARPLUMS DANCING IN THEIR HEADS"? THAT'S WHAT I'D DO. YOU WOULD, WOULDN'T YOU? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE TAKING THEIR SIDE AGAINST ME. I'M NOT TAKING THEIR SIDE. I'M JUST SAYING I UNDERSTAND- YOU'RE TAKING THEIR SIDE. OK, I'M TAKING THEIR SIDE. THESE PEOPLE DON'T DRAG THEIR BEHINDS IN HERE DAY-IN, DAY-OUT FOR THE SHEER JOY OF MAKING SURE MR. HAMILTON'S SECURITY NEEDS ARE MET. THEY WORK SO THERE'S A COUPLE EXTRA PRESENTS FOR THE KIDS UNDER THE TANNENBAUM. SO THERE'S A CHRISTMAS GOOSE ON THE TABLE, SO GRANDPA CAN TAKE A SNOOZE IN THE BARCALOUNGER SANTA BROUGHT. NO ONE'S ASKING THEM TO WORK CHRISTMAS DAY NECESSARILY, IF THEY GET THEIR WORK DONE. OH, YOU REALLY ARE SOMETHING, YOU KNOW THAT? WHY? BECAUSE I BUILT SOMETHING, AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT DESTROYED? YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU? THIS ISN'T ABOUT CHRISTMAS. THIS IS ABOUT PRIORITIES- YOUR PRIORITIES. THE WRONG THINGS ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU, MISS HAYES. MISS HAYES, THERE'S A CALL FOR YOU ON LINE 2. THANK YOU. CLOSE THE DOOR WHEN YOU LEAVE, PLEASE. OK, FINE. YOU WANT TO BE KING OF THE HILL, TOP OF THE HEAP? THAT'S GOOD. JUST REMEMBER, MADDIE, A GOOD JOB DOESN'T LOVE YOU BACK. HELLO. HI, DADDY. DADDY, LISTEN, I'M GOING RIGHT NOW. I'M HANGING UP THE PHONE, WALKING OUT THE DOOR, AND GOING TO SEE AUNT RUTH. WHAT? DEAD? I'M SORRY. I KNOW. I KNOW THAT, UH YOU'RE HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY, AND I'M 4 BLOCKS. I KNOW. YOU WERE COUNTING ON ME. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. BYE. SHORT DAY, HUH? I'M GOING OUT. OUT? THAT'S TERRIFIC. MISS NORTH WIND BLOWS THROUGH HERE, TURNS EVERYONE'S LIFE TO HELL, AND SKIPS OFF TO THE BEAUTY SALON. YOU'RE FIRED. NO, NO. I QUIT. THAT'S ENOUGH. STOP IT. DID I REALLY ASK SO MUCH, DID I? ALL I ASKED WAS FOR A LITTLE EXTRA HELP. WELL, I HEAR YOUR ANSWER LOUD AND CLEAR. I WISH I'D NEVER KEPT THIS PLACE OPEN. THEN WE'D SEE HOW COCKY YOU'D BE. THEN WE'D SEE. ANOTHER. WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT? NO, I DEFINITELY WANT ANOTHER. NOW WHY IS A BEAUTIFUL LADY LIKE YOURSELF SITTING ALONE IN A BAR ORDERING DOUBLES? IS THIS FRIENDLY BARTENDER CHAT? YEAH. WELL, I DON'T WANT FRIENDLY, AND I DON'T WANT CHAT. I DIDN'T COME HERE TO FEEL BETTER. I CAME HERE TO FEEL MISERABLE. SO GIVE ME ANOTHER DRINK, PLEASE, AND HOLD THE PEP TALK. CONSIDER IT HELD. EXCUSE ME, MIND IF I SIT HERE? YES. MY NAME'S ALBERT. FROM OUT OF TOWN. I, UH I COULDN'T HELP OVERHEARING. I KNOW, I KNOW. YOU-YOU THINK YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT'S BOTHERING YOU, BUT WHY DON'T YOU GIVE IT A TRY? IT COULD HELP. I DON'T THINK SO. I'M A VERY GOOD LISTENER. NOT SO FAR, YOU'RE NOT. SENSE OF HUMOR. I LIKE THAT. I LIKE THAT IN A WOMAN. LOOK, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M IN NO MOOD. OH, YES, YOU ARE. AND IT'S A BAD ONE. YOU'RE RIGHT. EXCUSE ME. WHOOPS. CAN I BUY YOU A CUP OF COFFEE? I'M FINE. YOU SHOULDN'T STAND SO CLOSE TO THE EDGE. LOOK, FELLA- ALBERT. FINE. ALBERT SINCE YOU CAN'T TAKE A HINT, I'LL BE BLUNT. I'M NOT INTERESTED. NEITHER AM I- NOT THE WAY YOU THINK. LOOK, YOU WANT TO JUMP? JUMP. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT TO JUMP? OH, COME ON. I WASN'T BORN YESTERDAY. I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS. DOING WHAT? THIS-STEPPING INTO PEOPLE'S LIVES WHEN THINGS SEEM THE BLACKEST. URGING THEM TO PRESS ON OCCASIONALLY MAKING SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY HAPPEN, LIKE I JUST DID WITH YOU. EXCUSE ME? A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO, YOU SAID THAT YOU WISHED YOU'D NEVER KEPT YOUR BUSINESS OPEN. YOU DID, DIDN'T YOU? GET AWAY FROM ME. OH, MADDIE. THERE'S NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF. YOU MADE A WISH, AND IT'S COME TRUE. YOU NEVER KEPT YOUR BUSINESS AFLOAT, THE LAST 2 YEARS NEVER HAPPENED- AT LEAST NOT IN THE WAY THAT YOU REMEMBER THEM. WHO ARE YOU? WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? I THINK YOU'RE CRAZY. WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH ME? SEE IF WHAT I'M SAYING IS TRUE. MADDIE YOU HAVE 2 WAYS TO GET OFF THIS ROOF- ON THE ELEVATOR WITH ME, OR THE WAY THAT YOU WERE CONTEMPLATING. I'M NOT GETTING IN THE ELEVATOR WITH YOU. FINE. GO BY YOURSELF. PRESS ANY BUTTON. OH, I'M NOT GOING TO CHASE YOU. I'M NOT GONNA FOLLOW YOU. JUST PRESS ANY FLOOR, IT DOESN'T MATTER. ANY BUTTON, ANY FLOOR. DOESN'T MATTER. HEY, SANTA HOW'D THE TREE-TRIMMING GO? EXCUSE ME? IN THE LOBBY, AT 10:00 THIS MORNING. I DON'T KNOW. IT'S TOMORROW AT 11:30. OH. UH, MISS, MAY I HELP YOU? HART AGENCY. HART AGENCY? ABSOLUTELY, MISTER H., POSITIVELY. YES, SIR, MR. H., IT'LL BE DONE IN NO TIME AT ALL. DON'T I KNOW YOU FROM SOMEWHERE? NAH. EXCUSE ME. YEAH? WHAT IS THIS PLACE? THIS-THIS IS THE HART DETECTIVE AGENCY. ARE YOU LOST? MY EMPLOYERS, MR. AND MRS. H., THEY'RE THE GREATEST AT THIS SORT OF THING. WOULD YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BLUE MOON DETECTIVE AGENCY? BLUE MOON DETECTIVE AGENCY? THEY USED TO BE HERE IN THESE OFFICES. OH, THEM, YEAH. UH, THEY SOLD OUT. CAME IN ONE DAY, FIRED EVERYBODY, THEY SOLD THE LEASE TO MR. AND MRS. H., I THINK. THAT WAS ABOUT 2- LOOK, IF YOU NEED A DETECTIVE, MR. AND MRS. H. ARE THE GREATEST. AND BOY, CAN THEY WEAR CLOTHES. NO, THANKS. WELL? YOU DID IT. THEY'RE GONE. IT'S GONE. BLUE MOON. ALL OF THEM. ALL OF IT. I TOLD YOU. WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU? A GENIE, A WITCH? COME ON. YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT STUFF, DO YOU? OH, THAT'S RIGHT. I FORGOT. YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN MUCH OF ANYTHING, DO YOU? YOU'RE NOT GONNA ANSWER MY QUESTION? I'M WHAT YOU CALL A GUARDIAN ÁNGEL. OK. I HAVE A GUARDIAN ÁNGEL. NOT JUST YOU. EVERYBODY. EVERYBODY. EVERYBODY. EVERYBODY? EVERYBODY. BUT I'VE BEEN DEPRESSED BEFORE, HOW COME YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I DIDN'T SHOW UP? WELL, MAYBE NOT IN PERSON, BUT I GOT THE JOB DONE. YOU DID? YES. HAVEN'T YOU EVER BEEN DOWN, TURNED ON THE TV, AND YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE WAS PLAYING? OR BEEN IN A MARKET, AND A STRANGER GAVE YOU A FEW PENNIES WHEN YOU WERE SHORT. WHAT ABOUT WHEN A FRIEND CALLED JUST AT THE MOMENT WHEN YOU NEEDED TO TALK TO SOMEBODY THE MOST? THAT WAS YOU? THAT WAS ME. HA HA HA HA HA! WHAT'S SO FUNNY? THISYOU I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST FUNNY. I KNOW WHAT THIS IS. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE. YOU'RE A DREAM. OR INDIGESTION. OR DRINKING TOO MUCH. I AM? I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS, BUT THIS IS WONDERFUL. THIS IS TERRIFIC. BLUE MOON IS GONE- IT'S GONE. EVEN IF IT IS ONLY A DREAM. I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT PAYING THOSE PEOPLE, I CAN SLEEP LATE! I CANI CAN DO ANYTHING I WANT! CAN'T I? OH THANK YOU, ALBERT. THANK YOU. THIS IS WONDERFUL. THIS IS TERRIFIC. THANK YOU. THANK YOU! HELLO. I PUSHED LOBBY. WE'RE NOT FINISHED YET, MADDIE. SURE WE ARE. I WISHED, YOU GRANTED. WHAT ELSE IS THERE? I JUST CHANGED THE LAST 2 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE. DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? TO YOU? TO THE OTHERS? TO DAVID? NO. I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OF THEM. AH. MISS DIPESTO? AGNES? OH, I'M SURE SHE'S WORKING SOMEWHERE FOR SOMEONE DOING SOMETHING. THOUGH I'M SURE WHOEVER IT IS SHE'S WORKING FOR ISN'T PUTTING UP WITH ALL THE ECCENTRIC NONSENSE I DID. ON SECOND THOUGHT, MAYBE SHE ISN'T WORKING. MAYBE SHE'S SITTING AROUND DREAMING UP WORDS TO RHYME WITH UNEMPLOYED. WHERE ARE WE? WHAT IS THIS PLACE? DIPESTO WORKS HERE? COULD BE. SHOULD BE. AH. TRY IT THIS WAY. HOT DAMN. WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE. REMEMBER WHO'S SPONSORING THIS TRIP. SORRY. ALL RIGHT. NOBODY CAN SEE YOU OR HEAR YOU. REALLY? REALLY. HE REALLY DOESN'T KNOW YOU'RE THERE. HE REALLY DOESN'T KNOW THAT WE'RETHERE. OLD ÁNGEL TRICK. THAT'S TERRIBLE. THAT HAPPENS TO ME AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK. DON'T BLAME ME. I'VE BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS. THANK YOU FOR CALLING RHYMES FOR THE TIMES. THE GREETING CARD COMPANY WITH WIT SO SUBLIME. BE IT BIRTHDAYS OR WEDDINGS, BAR MITZVAHS, GOOD LUCKS, WE'VE GOT THE CARD IF YOU'VE GOT THE BUCKS. I NEED THIS ARTWORK RIGHT AWAY. I'VE GOT A MEETING WITH HER TODAY. YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING. I DON'T HAVE THE TIME. YOU DO YOUR OWN WORK. I'VE ALREADY GOT MINE. THEY DO THIS ALL DAY- DO WHAT? TALK IN RHYMES? COMPANY RULE. I'M GOING TO SAY THIS ONE LAST TIME, YOU OWE ME MONEY, WHAT'S MINE IS MINE. WOW. GO AHEAD AND MAKE MY DAY. NO MORE CARDS UNTIL YOU PAY. ALBERT, LOOK AT HER. SHE'S THE PRESIDENT OF THE COMPANY. I KNOW. THE PRESIDENT OF THE COMPANY. I THINK THEY CALL THAT POETIC JUSTICE. SHE WAS HIRED AS A RECEPTIONIST HERE JUST AFTER YOU CLOSED THE AGENCY. DIDN'T TAKE LONG FOR THE COMPANY TO REALIZE SHE HAD A SPECIAL GIFT. SHE JUST ROSE UP THE CORPORATE LADDER. THAT RULE ABOUT EMPLOYEES SPEAKING IN POEMS? THAT'S HERS. SHE SAYS IT KEEPS THEIR RHYMING INSTINCTS HONED RAPIER-SHARP. AGNES USES WORDS LIKE "RAPIER"? AGNES RHYMES WORDS LIKE RAPIER. WENDY! GET IN HERE RIGHT AWAY! IT'S TIME YOU DID SOME WORK TODAY. BRING STACEY, SHAWN, AND JULIE, TOO. I'VE HAD IT TO HERE WITH ALL OF YOU. YOU CALL THIS A RHYME? I'VE HEARD BETTER MIME. THIS MEANS YOUR JOB'S PRECARIOUS. NEXT TIME I WANT HILARIOUS. THAT'S TERRIBLE. THAT'S BUSINESS. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET BACK TO WORK! SOMETHING'S WRONG. SOMETHING'S TERRIBLY WRONG. THIS IS NOT DIPESTO. NOT THE DIPESTO I KNOW. THIS PERSON IS COLD AND MEAN. DON'T JUST STAND THERE. OPEN THE DOOR. COME ON IN, AND PULL UP SOME FLOOR. HERBERT? WHAT'S HE DOING HERE? THEY WERE DESTINED TO MEET. HE WORKS FOR HER. WHAT IS IT YOU HAVE TO SAY? HURRY, I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY. ABOUT THIS MEMO. SORRY. I DON'T FEEL LIKE RHYMING JUST NOW. AND JUST WHAT IS IT ABOUT THIS MEMO THAT HAS YOU SO UPSET? I CAN'T FIRE THOSE PEOPLE. IT'S 9 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS. FINE. I'LL FIRE THEM. MISS DIPESTO. SIR HAVE A HEART. SHE DOES. I DON'T. SHE DOES. YOU DO. I'VE SEEN IT. YOU HAVE THE BIGGEST HEART IN THE WORLD. REMOVE YOUR HAND. WHY? SO YOU CAN PICK UP THAT PHONE AND FIRE THOSE PEOPLE? SHE WOULDN'T DO THAT. SHE COULDN'T DO THAT. YES. NO. OK, FINE. AND WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO? CALL OUR STOCKHOLDERS AND SAY, "THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE ANY PROFITS THIS YEAR "BECAUSE EVERYONE HERE HAS VISIONS OF SUGARPLUMS DANCING IN THEIR HEADS"? THAT'S WHAT I'D DO. THAT'S WHAT I'D DO. YOU WOULD WOULDN'T YOU? AGNES. THIS ISN'T YOU. THIS ISN'T THE WAY YOU DEAL WITH PEOPLE, WITH SITUATIONS. THIS IS ME. FIRE THEM, VIOLA. FIRE THEM, OR I'LL FIRE YOU. NO! YOU CAN'T TREAT HIM LIKE THAT! YOU LOVE HIM! I HATE YOU. NO, YOU DON'T. YOU TWO LOVE EACH OTHER. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT YET. COME ON, AGNES. TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM! COME ON, AGNES! TELL HIM! OH, MR. VIOLA SEE? I TOLD YOU. MY HOUSE TONIGHT AROUND 10:30. I DIDN'T HEAR YOU MR. VICE PRESIDENT. I'LL BE THERE. HOW'D THEY GET THIS WAY? HOW'D SHE GET THIS WAY? YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE HEARTLESS TO RUN A BUSINESS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE MANIPULATIVE TO GET PEOPLE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT. I THINK IT'S TIME FOR US TO GO. WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? WHERE ARE WE GOING NOW? ALL IN GOOD TIME. WE'RE NOT GOING TO VISIT SOMEONE ELSE, ARE WE? I REALLY DON'T WANT TO VISIT ANYONE ELSE. I'D REALLY LIKE THIS THING TO WRAP ITSELF UP. WRAP ITSELF UP? ABSOLUTELY. IF THIS IS A DREAM, LET ME WAKE UP. IF IT'S NOT, LET'S GET TO TINY TIM'S HOUSE ALREADY. I'LL BUY HIM A TURKEY. I'LL GIVE HIS DAD A RAISE. WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT ME TO DO. WHAT ABOUT DAVID? WHAT ABOUT DAVID? YOU HAVEN'T SAID A WORD ABOUT HIM. AREN'T YOU THE LEAST BIT CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO DAVID ADDISON? NO. NO. NO. I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO DAVID ADDISON. YOU DO? ABSOLUTELY. POSITIVELY. NOW WHERE WAS IT YOU SAID WE WERE GOING? YOUR HOUSE. MY HOUSE? YOUR HOUSE. BUT MY HOUSE DOESN'T HAVE AN ELEVATOR. ONE DOES WHAT ONE CAN WITH WHAT ONE HAS. I'M SORRYUH, YOU WERE SAYING? WAS I? AM I HAVING A PARTY? YOU SAID YOU WERE CERTAIN YOU KNEW WHAT HAPPENED TO DAVID ADDISON? DAVID? I'LL TAKE BETS. THAT MAN HAS NEVER WORKED AN HONEST DAY IN HIS LIFE. HE COULDN'T WORK AN HONEST DAY IN HIS LIFE. HE'S A DERELICT SOMEWHERE. LYING IN THE GUTTER ALONE. TRYING TO HUSTLE THE OTHER DERELICTS OUT OF THEIR LAST SIPS OF RIPPLE. HAVE I REDECORATED? I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE ENGAGED. Second woman: WELL, IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN. EVERYBODY WAS WAITING FOR IT TO HAPPEN. FOR WHAT TO HAPPEN TO WHO? I THINK SHE'S ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD. Second man: I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY SHE GAVE UP MODELING. Third man: NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. DAVID ADDISON IS THE LUCKIEST GUY IN THE WORLD. DAVID? ALBERT, IS THAT IT? IS THAT MY FATE? DO I MARRY DAVID? YOU SEEM UPSET. I AM UPSET. I AM UPSET. THAT'S AWFUL. THAT'S TERRIBLE. THAT'S CHERYL TIEGS. CONGRATULATIONS. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. CONGRATULATIONS. THANKS VERY MUCH. DON'T TOUCH THE MERCHANDISE. EH, SHE FINALLY CAUGHT ME. WILL YOU ALL EXCUSE US, PLEASE? WE'D LIKE TO GET SOME FOOD SO WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH STRENGTH TO MAKE BABIES LATER. I KNOW. ALL THESE GREAT GENES IN ONE COUPLE. IT'S KIND OF EMBARRASSING. CHERYL TIEGS? THAT'S WHO THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT? CHERYL TIEGS? THAT'S WHO DAVID MARRIED? I DON'T GET IT. WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN MY HOUSE? WELL, IT'S HIS HOUSE. HIS HOUSE? YOU PUT IT ON THE MARKET LAST YEAR, AND HE BOUGHT IT. HE BOUGHT IT? DAVID BOUGHT IT? HOW COULD HE BUY IT? SINCE WHEN DOES DAVID HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY? WELL, I, UH DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. HE-HE HAD A VERY GOOD YEAR. WELL, WHY DID I SELL IT? WELL, YOU YOU HAD A VERY BAD ONE. * JUST HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING * BABY, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? YES, MY DARLING. WHAT? THIS MARRIAGE YOU AND ME MM-HMM? THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT THE WAY I LOOK, IS IT? MM-HMM. MM-HMM. I CAN LIVE WITH THAT. OK. * DING-A-LING LING DING DONG DING * ALBERT, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH. CAN WE GO HOME? WE ARE HOME. SORRY, BAD JOKE. JUST A LITTLE LONGER. WE DON'T GET TO DANCE UP THERE. NO MUSIC? NO FLOORS. DAVE? RICH. I JUST DANCED WITH CHERYL TIEGS. CHERYL TIEGS. WE PRESSED OUR BODIES CLOSE TOGETHER, DAVE, AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, I UNDERSTOOD THE MEANING OF THE WORD"COVET." I COVET HER, DAVE. I COVET HER WITH MY EYES. I COVET HER WITH MY MOUTH. I COVET HER WITH MY TONGUE. I COVET HER WITH MANY, MANY DIFFERENT BODY PARTS, DAVE. UM I DO HOPE I'M NOT, YOU KNOW, OFFENDING YOU WITH THIS. NO. GOOD. PROMISE ME YOU'LL LEAVE HER TO ME WHEN YOU DIE. DONE. DONE? DONE. DONE. GREAT. HOW YOU FEELING, DAVE? I THINK I'M GONNA MAKE IT THROUGH THE HONEYMOON, RICH. DAMN. DO YOU HEAR THAT SLOP? THAT'S THE KIND OF SLOP I HAD TO HEAR ALL THE TIME. WELL, I FOR ONE AM GLAD DAVID AND CHERYL TIEGS ARE GETTING MARRIED. YOU ARE? ABSOLUTELY. IT'LL SAVE 2 OTHER PEOPLE. YO, DAVE. HMM? IS SOMETHING UP? WHY DO YOU ASK? I MEAN, YOU'RE NOT ACTING LIKE A GUY WHO'S ABOUT TO MARRY CHERYL TIEGS. YOU'RE NOT ACTING LIKE A GUY WHO'S ABOUT TO MARRY ANYBODY. WELL, I WAS JUST THINKING. ABOUT WHAT? WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THINKING ABOUT BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED, I GUESS. FROZE TOES? HUH? HUH? COLD FEET? ABSOLUTELY NOT. WELL, MAYBE JUST A LITTLE NIPPY. I DON'T KNOW, RICHIE. WHEN I SAY, "I DO" I DON'T WITH ANYONE ELSE. WHAT IF I MEET SOMEBODY TOMORROW THAT I LIKE BETTER? BETTER THAN CHERYL TIEGS? I GUESS THE QUESTION IS WHETHER OR NOT I'M MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICE. OF COURSE YOU'RE MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICE, DAVE. ABSOLUTELY, YOU'RE MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICE. YOU ALWAYS MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE, DAVE. JUST TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR LIFE. YOU'VE GOT EVERYTHING. TAKE IT FROM ME, BRO, ENJOY IT NOW, WHILE YOU'VE GOT IT. THINGS COULD CHANGE TOMORROW. ONE DAY YOU'RE ON TOP, THE NEXT DAY HEY, CHECK OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO MADDIE HAYES. WHAT HAPPENED TO MADDIE HAYES? MADDIE HAYES. THAT'S A NAME I HAVEN'T HEARD FOR A WHILE. YEAH, THAT WAS A KILLER. WHAT'S A KILLER? WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? THIS USED TO BE HER HOUSE. SHE SLAPPED ME ONCE. SHE WAS EVEN A GREAT SLAPPER. I DON'T KNOW, RICH, IT WAS SOMETHING SHE JUST HAD CLASS. STRENGTH. I REALLY ADMIRED HER. YOU DID? SHE HAD THIS SOFTNESS ABOUT HER. THIS WARMTH. I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HER. NO, I DIDN'T REALLY. I MEAN, NOT THE WAY I WANTED TO. THERE WAS THAT ONE TIME WHEN SHE CLOSED THE OFFICE, AND THEN, WHEN I BOUGHT THIS PLACE. I DON'T KNOW, IT WAS JUST A FEELING. I BET SHE WAS A REALLY SPECIAL GIRL. OH, DAVID WHAT DOES HE MEAN "WAS"? WHO KNOWS, RICHIE? MAYBE WE COULD'VE BEEN GREAT TOGETHER. BUT WE WERE GREAT TOGETHER! DON'T YOU REMEMBER ALL THOSE CASES? THE DISC JOCKEY, THE PIANO PLAYER, THAT STUPID PORTRAIT OF ME! YOU FOLLOWED ME TO BUENOS AIRES, I FOLLOWED YOU TO NEW YORK. HOW COULD YOU FORGET THAT? YOU EVEN KISSED ME ONCE IN A GARAGE. YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE LEAVING FOR GOOD, SO DID I, SO YOU KISSED ME. NO, HE DIDN'T, MADDIE. WHAT? NONE OF THAT HAPPENED. HUH? ALL THAT WENT AWAY WHEN YOU CLOSED THE AGENCY. THOSE 2 YEARS, THEY'RE GONE. OH AH, THIS IS CRAZY. I DON'T KNOW, RICHIE. HERE I AM COMPARING CHERYL TO A WOMAN I DON'T EVEN KNOW. PROBABLY JUST A CASE OF FROZE TOES. YOU KNOW, DAVID, IF YOU EVER GET TIRED OF CHERYL MADDIE. OH. OH, I'M SORRY, I WAS JUST THINKING. ANYTHING I CAN HELP WITH? I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT DAVID AND RICHIE WERE TALKING ABOUT. THE AWFUL THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME. THE BAD YEAR I HAD. YOU WANT TO TELL ME ABOUT IT? I CAN'T. I'M NOT ALLOWED. RULES OF THE HOUSE. YOU DON'T HAVE ANY REGRETS, DO YOU? HUH? OH! ME? ABOUT WHAT? ABOUT ANYTHING. ABOUT EVERYTHING. CLOSING THE BUSINESS, LOSING YOUR FRIENDS. THIS IS REALLY THE LAST CHANCE THAT I HAVE TO PUT EVERYTHING BACK THE WAY IT WAS. NO, I'M PERFECTLY HAPPY. I'M TERRIBLY HAPPY. WHERE ARE WE GONNA GO NOW? PRESENT. THE RIGHT NOW. ARE YOU SURE? YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY SURE? ONCE THESE DOORS OPEN, THE DIE IS CAST. TIME WILL MOVE ON, AND ONCE IT DOES, THERE'S NO TURNING IT BACK. BAD YEAR, HUH? HOW BAD COULD IT HAVE BEEN? WAIT A SECOND. WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? LOOKING FOR YOU. COME ON. WE CAN'T KEEP THE WORLD WAITING. IS THAT ME? MM-HMM. WHAT AM I DOING HERE? WHY DO I LOOK LIKE THAT? WHY ISN'T ANYONE MOVING? NO ONE'S MOVING BECAUSE I STOPPED EVERYTHING, EVERYONE. I WANTED TO SHOW YOU WHAT WOULD BE, WHAT COULD BE. IT'S STILL 6:18. EXACTLY THE SAME MOMENT WHEN WE MET IN THE OTHER BAR. EVERYTHING THAT I'VE SHOWN YOU, ALL THAT YOU'VE SEEN, TOOK A SPLIT SECOND TO SEE. A BLINK. NOW THAT YOU'VE MADE YOUR FINAL DECISION, YOU HAVE TO JOIN EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD AND GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE. YOU WERE HERE, BECAUSE THE MADDIE HAYES WHO CLOSED THE BUSINESS TWO YEARS AGO, CAME HERE NINE DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS TO FORGET. TO NUMB HERSELF. WHAT IS IT YOU WERE DOING IN THAT BAR WHERE I FOUND YOU? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHAT'S SHE- ME, SO UPSET ABOUT? THERE'S NO BUSINESS TO WORRY ABOUT. NO EMPLOYEES TO KEEP IN LINE. NO DAVID AND DIPESTO TO DEAL WITH. WELL, FOR ONE THING, SHE CAN'T GO HOME FOR CHRISTMAS. NO TIME? NO MONEY. AND THEN, OF COURSE, CHRISTMAS ITSELF HAS A WAY OF MAKING SOME PEOPLE TERRIBLY LONELY. PARTICULARLY THE ONES THAT DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS. NO FRIENDS? NO. OH AND HER AUNT DIED JUST THIS MORNING. OF COURSE THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THERE'S NO DAVID, NO DIPESTO, NO BUSINESS. I THINK I KIND OF LIKE THE BUSINESS. MADDIE. AND THINK I KIND OF LIKE DIPESTO. MADDIE, IT'S TOO LATE. I MISS DAVID. MADDIE. MADDIE, THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO. HERE YOU ARE. THISTHIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW. ALL RIGHT. I HAVE TO SNAP MY FINGERS NOW AND MAKE EVERYTHING MOVE AGAIN. I HAVE TO GO. OTHER PEOPLE NEED ME. YOU UNDERSTAND. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT. GOOD-BYE, MADDIE. WAIT! PLEASE STAY WITH ME WITH US A LITTLE LONGER. PLEASE! I- I REALLY WOULD- PLEASE. YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOU A CAB? I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT AGNES DIPESTO LOOKS LIKE. I CAN'T GET EVEN GET A PICTURE OF HER IN MY HEAD. IT'S ALL RIGHT. THAT'S NORMAL. WE CAN'T VERY WELL CHANGE TWO YEARS OF YOUR LIFE AND KEEP YOUR MEMORIES INTACT, CAN WE? I GUESS NOT. WHAT ABOUT DAVID? YOU MEAN YOUR MEMORIES OF HIM? THEY MAY TAKE LONGER TO FADE. THE MORE INTENSE YOUR FEELING FOR A PERSON, THE HARDER IT IS TO LET GO OF THE MEMORY. OH YEAH, BUT IF PEOPLE ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER, THEY'LL FIND EACH OTHER NO MATTER WHERE, NO MATTER WHAT, RIGHT? ISN'T THAT RIGHT? WE'RE GOING AWFULLY FAST. IS SHEAM I GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT? MADDIE. WHOA! WHAT'S SHE TRYING TO DO, KILL US? SHE'S GOING TO KILL HERSELF. OURSELVES! ME. ME! THAT'S WHAT DAVID AND RICHARD WERE TALKING ABOUT, ISN'T IT? I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF. I'M GOING TO DIE. ALBERT, STOP ALL OF THIS! I DON'T WANT TO DIE. I HAVE FRIENDS AND MEMORIES AND THE FUTURE! MADDIE, THERE'S NOTHING THAT I CAN DO ABOUT IT. IT'S ALREADY 6:30. THERE'S NO TURNING BACK NOW. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO TURNING BACK? THIS IS YOUR DESTINY. YOU TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE. YOU DIE ALONE. THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. THE DIE IS CAST. WELL, UNCAST IT. I CAN'T! THERE ARE PLANS! PREPARATIONS! BEFORE YOU DIE, YOUR WHOLE LIFE FLASHES BEFORE YOU. IT'S A BIG SHOW, YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST PULL SOMETHING LIKE THAT TOGETHER? YOU CAN'T! HELL NO! I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. YOU CAN'T CALL DESTINY OFF, REWIND 20 MINUTES! TRY! TRY! AAH! COME ON, LADY. WAKE UP. YOU OK? WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED? HOW DID I GET BACK HERE? EXCUSE ME? LADY, YOU HAVEN'T BUDGED. YOU ORDERED A DOUBLE, TOOK A SIP, THEN TOOK A NOSEDIVE INTO THE PRETZEL STICKS. YOU MEAN THAT'S GREAT. LADY, YOU FEEL OK? YEAH. I FEEL FINE. I FEEL WONDERFUL! I FEEL WHAT TIME IS IT? A LITTLE PAST 6:00. LITTLE PAST 6:00. A LITTLE PAST 6:00! HE DID IT! HE DID? HE DID! I'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO THE OFFICE! Dipesto's voice: BLUE MOON DETECTIVE AGENCY HAVE THINGS GONE AWRY? IS IT SOLUTIONS YOU SEEK? WE'RE EAGER TO HELP, BUT WE'RE CLOSED A FEW WEEKS. FINE. YOU WANT TO BE KING OF THE HILL? TOP OF THE HEAP? JUST REMEMBER, MADDIE, A GOOD JOB DOESN'T LOVE YOU BACK. YOU WANT SOME HELP WITH THAT? AFTER YOU LEFT, YOUR FAMILY CALLED BACK. SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR AUNT. AND I'M SORRY ABOUT- ME, TOO. ME, THREE. IT'S OK. DID I MISS SOMETHING? YES. NO. I'M SORRY, TOO. MR. McGILLICUDDY, I HOPE YOU'LL STAY. YEAH, I'D LIKE THAT. MISS DIPESTO. I'D LIKE YOU TO CALL MR. HAMILTON. TELL HIM WE CAN'T HAVE HIS CASEWORK BY THE 28th. DOESN'T HE KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS? I'LL MAKE THAT CALL RIGHT NOW. AND YOU YEAH? WHAT WAS THAT? WHO CARES? AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY LIONS GATE HOME ENTERTAINMENT CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL * SOME WALK BY NIGHT * * SOME FLY BY DAY * * SOMETHING IS SWEETER * * 'CAUSE WE MET ON THE WAY * * 'CAUSE WE MET ON THE WAY *