And there are a lot of ways to intentionally put yourself right in the path of the Reaper. Everest. Suicide. Suicide by Everest. Drugs. Gaining 700 pounds. Posting Facebook or Twitter updates all, “Sigh.” or “YES!” or “I’m over it.” or “Hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.” or any other vague, cry-for-attention words or phrases. I should be allowed to kill those people, right?

But to put yourself in the path of the Reaper in such a bold fashion as these two young teenagers from Butler, is a new brand of spitting in the eye of the Grim Reaper.

Well, maybe it was one of those country roads like where somebody stole the bridge last year and it took everybody a week to notice.

Not well-traveled, is what I’m saying.

And I could have guessed it was a relative who hit them, because any other teen boy in a car would have come to a screeching halt and been all “LOOK! BOOBIES! ON GIRLS! IN THE SUN! I DON’T CARE IF THEY’RE 13, I’M GONNA OGLE FOR AWHILE” and just sat and ogled.

Did you see when they did the report on kdka the reporter actually made the comment

and i precieved it as remember folks it’s ok it’s a rural road no one drives on it.

what!!!!!!!!$$$$%%%%%&&&&&&&!!!!!!!!!!!!!

almost like they were saying hey it’s ok to do this. my driveway is basically a rural road. know what people get lost and drive on it. I’m not going to sleep in the middle of it! DUH! But then again if it was me a hawk or vulture would have pooped on me and I would not have been able to fall asleep!

If they’re 13 they’re probably eighth graders. As anyone who has taught knows, eighth grade girls are the planet’s most predatory creatures and hence too mean to die, even from terminal stupidity. Most grown out of this phase, so the hope that they never reproduce may be a bit hasty.

And Ginny…a word of warning. Your daughter’s not to this age yet, but she will be before you know it. No amount of chastity-belt-wearing or GPS-tracking or good old-fashioned parenting will prevent her from doing something preternaturally stupid. Just have plenty of wine nearby for when she does.