10. Committee votes now two out of three falls.
9. Debates must now start with "You Know...," "First of all...," or "Let me tell you something...."
8. Library of Congress desperately trying to keep up with demand for "Positively Lieberman."
7. The words "right here in Washington, DC" added to end of inaugural address for cheap pop.
6. Ties in the Senate mean majority party keeps Intercontinental Title.
5. Tipper turns on Al at press conference, labeled "a damn Jezebel" by Jim Ross.
4. Time-wasting debate in Senate no longer called "filibuster," now known as "UT/Kane feud."
3. Loud cries from press corps that Pres. Clinton has let government slide downhill thanks to involvement with XFL.
2. Legislative sessions scheduled for two hours; important votes happen durring over-run.
1. New defense team strategy: "I did not have sexual relations with that intern. It's true, it's true."

Top 5 promotional slogans to drum up WCW house show business:
5. "Special offer--buy one ticket, get 3,000 free!"
4. "The only place you can see Lex Luger lose to The Demon in 28 seconds."
3. "From the upper level, Booker T looks just like The Rock."
2. "Power Plant Talent, mindless booking, poor production--we pass the savings on to you!"
1. "Free Parking."

Top 10 changes to WWF SummerSlam that would be made by WCW bookers:

10. Booker T added to main event to help The Rock; announcers asked to "get the two mixed up a lot."
9. Chyna still wins IC title, but challenged by Judy Bagwell for cage match on RAW.
8. Hardcore Championship finish features stuntman portraying Shane being pinned by stuntman portraying Steve Blackman.
7. Lawler replaced at last minute; Okerlund beats Tazz in 1:28 with legdrop.
6. Three Count, MIA and Jung Dragons added to tag title match, now nicknamed "Tables, Ladders and Clusterf---s."
5. Special 30-minute post-main event concert performance by Herman's Hermits.
4. Undertaker rips off Kane's mask to reveal long-lost lover, Buddy.
3. X-Pac and Road Dogg reunite, pushing new catchphrase, "Hey, we smoke a lot of weed. Get it?"
2. Saturn, Malenko and Gurrero run-in to hammer Jericho in third fall for no good reason, then announce "the band is back together."
1. Main event features 13 turns, eight false finishes and a run-in by Vince McMachon, Steve Austin and the 82nd Airborne.