as the title suggests, i've got 2 windows 2016 server
However,on PRIVATE IP it doesn't give a gateway, just LAN IP and Subnet

I've entered these into the adapter IPv4 settings, but i cannot connect to each other over lan

any ideas?

Do both of your Droplets belong to the same account & team?

If so, I would recommend opening a ticket with DigitialOcean to confirm the network settings you should be using for each of your Droplets to ensure you have them setup correctly for the private network.