Charlie Bear’s “Bum” Issue

Okay, I admit it. I have a dirty little secret. Not really dirty….just something…ummm…sort of unmentionable in certain company. It’s something people don’t like to talk about, but us dogs are all over it. You see, it’s got to do with scent glands, sniffer-doodle-icious smells that come from other dogs. It’s why we sniff back there. We like to get a sense (scents-get it?) of who the dog really is.

The scent glands (also known as…and here comes the unmentionable part) are called anal glands. I know, I know, people freak out when you talk about that part of the anatomy, but really, it’s just a part of the body! Like when Peeps talk about colonoscopies…what image does that conjure up? Anyway, let’s not go there.

Dad takes really good care of me in the grooming department. He clips my shaggy fur to keep me mat free so when the groomer works me over they don’t have to comb out the tangles. Sometimes I get muzzled for a few minutes or the groomers give me a time out if I snarl a bit. No big deal. I like the break from the bathing, ear cleaning, nail clipping, and … ahem, the anal gland expression.

So here’s my problem. And it is a rather big problem, even though I’m a rather smallish dog. Those anal glands of mine fill up quickly. Mom looked it up on the internet and figures I just don’t have the muscles in my bum to keep them emptied. Big dog Rex NEVER had this issue. At least she says so. But I know he scooted across the family room carpet once in a while, which made Mom and Dad laugh uproariously. Tell me that wasn’t anal glands!

Anyway, Mom figured out I had a problem when I began to spin and bite and growl at my bum, even just two weeks after a visit to the groomer! She wants to know if there is any secret to keeping my glands excreted. She knows how to do it http://bit.ly/orDPjV (and we won’t go into the sordid details, but it really isn’t that bad), but wonders if there’s anything you guys can tell her to make it easier on me (and on her).

So, any hints for how to take care of my bum?

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Oreo and Rowdy here again! Our Peep Mom just loves your column. In fact, she will ignore so many emails just looking for your columns and updates cos they make her feel so much better. She is very sick and she’s only 50 but she needs to go to a Nursing Home but can’t take us so she doesn’t want to go. She talked to some friends about taking us but she will not go without making sure we are taken care of. She is trying hard to get well so she can just stay in her home. Our Dad Peep is not so well either nor is BJ our Peep Brother. I think we told you that he has seizures and they had to take out half of his brain and when he shakes, we sit with him and Oreo (yes, me Oreo!) licks his cheek when he shakes, but I (Rowdy) get scared and hide when he shakes a lot. We both have been super affectionate with Mom lately because she has cried so much lately and today the ambulance had to come and get BJ and she couldn’t even get out of bed to help him because she had a stroke and couldn’t get out of bed. We had somebody who came to our house to take care of everyone, but because of the government cuts, our Peeps can’t get the help they need at home. They don’t understand because it would be cheaper for all of them to stay home than go into a Nursing Home and Mom is so depressed about this. They even took away the Meals on Wheels and Mom really depended on that food every day for them because now she has to find a way to make the food but we never worry about us because she always takes care of us but we do worry about our Peeps eating enough now! Our Mom likes this site cos she can just talk to somebody thru us and most of the time, she is just alone because nobody ever gets out of bed to spend time with her. Now with winter coming, we are worried that we can’t play outside much cos Mom doesn’t feel much like being outside in the snow and wind and in Nebraska the wind blows up to 65 mph and it REALLY gets cold! And our Mom is from the South. so this is all kinda new to her cos she’s only been here about 4 years! And she has fallen and broke 8 bones in the last 16 months! So we really do have to watch her and stay out of her way if she walks towards us so she doesn’t fall over us. Tonight we were with her going into the kitchen and she started screaming and scared us to death and it was all because she saw a mouse in the kitchen! WOMEN!!! We couldn’t believe she went nuts over a mouse! We had a winter storm today and we live kinda in the rural part of NE and mice try to get warm in winter storms and the field mice try to come in houses this time of year. OMG now there is one in her bedroom and she’s going crazy again!! They are so little and grey and she doesn’t even understand why she is so scared of them. We really don’t seem too bothered by them but we ARE schnauzers and we do hunt them little stinkers but we just are not interested in chasing them tonight cos it’s past our bedtime and not much keeps us from our routine of going to bed early, way before our Mom goes to sleep! I guess we should help her, but we can’t find that mouse she seems to hear in the bedroom and her screaming means she probably does see one but we just can’t find him! They hide in small places! Well, we gotta go back to sleep and Mom is gonna check the rest of her emails between screams! We just have to laugh at her sometimes! You take care Charlie Bear and BJ – we think about yall a lot!
Woofs and Wiggles (and mom screaming)
Oreo and Rowdy

Dear Oreo and Rowdy,
It’s so hard to see the peeps we love afflicted with something that causes them distress. I feel for you a whole bunch. I know it’s tough on them when we have something that bothers us, but they don’t realize that we get extra tuned in to them and their feelings and it hurts us just as much when they are hurting. I will tell my mom and we will both pray for healing and for help for your peeps.
I think I would have a field day with mouses in the houses…get it? Field day…field mouse? A pretty lame stab at a joke for you guys. Anyway, I was up at 2:00 in the morning last night barking like crazy because I heard and smelled something outside. Not in the house, mind you, but outside. Mom peep got up and after checking to be sure everything was okay, she let me out. I ran circles around the yard, but couldn’t find what caused me such distress. Tell your mom that I hope she catches those little critters. I don’t think my mom would like them in her house one bit.
Wiggles and Woofs to you both, And Hugs to Your Peep Mom,
Charlie Bear

My poodle kept getting ear infections and anal gland infections, constantly. This was costly going to the vet. He recommended taking her tonsils out. I don’t know what one thing had to do with the other, but it worked. I did not have to learn how to express and not more trips to the vet for her. Everybody was happy!

Hey Charlie Bear, certain breeds have this problem more than others. Kelly has this too. She needs to go have it “taken care of” every few months. Mama could learn how to do it herself, but she declines. Anyway, tell your Mama to try giving you pumpkin (pure pumpkin in a can, not the kind mixed with stuff for pies!) a spoonful mixed with your food once a day. It is very good for helping this. Feel free to contact me anytime if you have any questions. luv Megs and Kelly

Megs and Kelly,
Thank you so much for the helpful advice. I’ll have Mom buy some pumpkin and we’ll try it. Since this is pumpkin month, it should be easy for her to remember!
Woofs & wiggles to you both,
Charlie Bear

Charlie Bear, You cheered my dreary day up with your picture of your tongue hanging out. You are so darn cute. I love you.
I’m eating better, but my legs are awful week; sometimes I can hardly walk. Mom and Dad are carrying me around much of the time. I know they love me an awful lot.
Honey Bunny

Honey Bunny,
Glad I cheered up your day. Hope you are feeling better on the rice food and I know Mom is giving you tons of kisses and you are giving them back. That’s good. My thoughts and prayers are with you. And Mom Peep said to tell your Mom she’s thinking of her often.
Woofs & Wiggles to you,
Charlie Bear

BJ, I HAVE 2 DOGS THAT LOOK A LOT LIKE YOUR CHARLIE BEAR AND MINE ARE OREO AND ROWDY. THEY ARE MINATURE SCHNAUZERS (MY SON’S NAME IS BJ -LOL) AND I DON’T REALLY KNOW HOW TO CLEAN THEIR BUMS EITHER AND CANNOT AFFORD THE GROOMERS ALL THE TIME AND I EVEN HAVE MY OWN CLIPPERS BUT CAN’T SEEM TO GROOM THEM CORRECTLY EITHER AND THEY END UP WITH MATTS AND I END UP CUTTING THEM A LOT JUST WITH SCISSORS, SO ANYTHING YOU LEARN ABOUT THE SCENT GLANDS AND/OOR GROOMING – PLEASE PASS IT ON TO US DOGGIE MOMS AND DADS! I HAVE 2 REGULAR GROWN PEOPLE KIDS, BUT DOGS GIVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND DON’T BOMBARD AND REMIND YOU OF EVERY MISTAKE YOU’VE EVER MADE! AND HUSBANDS COME AND GO, BUT YOUR DOGS ARE LIFELONG COMPANIONS AND DON’T HURT YOUR FEELINGS AND ARE ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE YOU AND DON;T EVEN BOTHER TO ASK HOW MUCH YOU’VE SPENT AND WHY AND THEY ALWAYS GIVE YOU KISSES NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU OVERDRAW THE CHECKING ACCOUNT! YEP, I LOVE MY DOGGIE KIDS! DEB

Dear Oreo and Rowdy,
So you look a lot like me? Then you must be super cute too. lol I love giving unconditional love to my Mom and Dad (Dad especially because for some reason I’m really drawn to him — must be the way he pets me and soothes me). You are also right…we are always glad to see our Peeps, aren’t we? Doesn’t matter how long they’ve been gone, or how much they’ve spent, or if they are in a bad mood, we can cheer them up with doggie licks and kisses.
Keep ’em coming to your Peeps, Oreo and Rowdy!
Wigges & Woofs,
Charlie Bear