I'm sick of logging on to me email account to find my inbox full of stuff about getting a certain body part getting enlarged. Is it really that popular? Do we need to be emailed about it every day? What if you are really are satisfied and get called "Big Boy"by all of your 133 girlfriends? Hey, what if you are an elderly grandmother?

I've had my word filter set up to instantly delete any incoming emails with the words "penis""dick" and "quarter pounder" for years now.Yet those crafty enlargement people continue to foil my trusty cyber traps.

So to honour these brilliant wordsmiths, I thought we might start a thread demostrating how you can reword an email 10000 different waysabout the same stupid topic.

So next time you log on to your spammy email account and get an enlargement add, post the title right here.

A friend of mine once ordered a catalog from one of these companies purely for humor purposes (said friend being a woman), and the best part of the thing was a line saying "Having a big penis is a license to have sex with beautiful women for the rest of your life."

I just find the idea of "a license" to be hilarious, as if you have to go down to the DMV every 8 years to get it renewed.

"How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, 'This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed'? Instead they say, 'No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.'" - Carl Sagan

"To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection." - Henri Poincaré

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks."To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine."One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln."If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.

Hello! How are you? Likely, you will be now surprised. I have received the love Internet dispatch. In that letter was spoken about love relations between people. In the list e-mail addressees, I have seen your e-mail (ROFL!!!). I consider, that the given chance for me unique, therefore I have decided to write to you. I wish to find the true love!

I would like to begin our acquaintance, with the small story about me. My name is Arevik. To me 27 years. I was born in not the big city which is called Ararat. I the quiet, young, purposeful girl. I conduct a healthy way of life. I do not smoke and I do not take alcohol. I have work which very strongly I love. But I do not have not enough love. I am assured, that on our planet, there is a person who can present to me happiness and love!

I search for the real man who will love, and to respect me. I consider, that this main thing in relations. I would like to find out you in more details. I wish to get acquainted with you more close, by means of e-mail. It will be for us easier variant.

You can write to me. I with pleasure will answer you. And certainly, I will send you my photos. I with impatience will wait your letter to me, with more detailed story about you. I am assured, that we become good friends. Your faithfully friend from Armenia, Arevik!

"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.-- Philip K DickOK, now let's look at four dimensions on the blackboard.-- Dr. JoyEnglish isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."