Sunday, November 15, 2009

Down For The Count

Somehow in the last few days I lost most of my psychological moxie.

I had moxie on the ball there for a quite a while. I was on a sweet roll. From one peak to another, then a plateau here and there, then I was wishing I had a plateau, being on a slope, a slope inexorably leading me toward a valley.

I'm going to try getting back my moxie ... tomorrow. I'm going to dream about it, at least think about it before going to bed, and I hope by tomorrow I'll be able to have that as a theme for continuing personal victory. Funny how these things work. By cracky, I believe it can be done! In fact I'm already feeling more optimistic! Funny!

But let me stew in my dismal juices -- or at least pretend to -- for the remainder of this post. That's the way I started it and it seems like it's too soon to shift gears and experience myself back on the upward march. I really believe I could do it. But I'm down, down, down, you see, and not likely to get back up (I wasn't at the beginning). I am, as they say in the sport of boxing, Down For The Count.

What got me down? I really believe there's a kind of cycle that happens with us. That we do go from those top of the world peak experiences in this cycle toward a downward trough. Like a wave, something like a wave. I'm definitely one for being hot toward a certain pursuit, then a couple weeks later cold, colder.

But I still have aims, goals, and desires in mind. I'm just waiting for that creative spark. I only need one little glimpse of it to grab the whole thing. So that's nice. But sometimes those glimpses are hard to get. You just have to think, When I need it -- really need it -- it will be there!

I like the thought today of Moxie On The Ball -- a lot more than being Down For The Count. I'll have to stew on that overnight and maybe that will be my next victorious theme. It's something to hope for. Think about me overnight, if you haven't got anything else to worry about. If you just think good thoughts in my general direction, toward your computer, I will feel that and it will add strength to me and my resolve. Let me thank you in advance.

Am I really, then, down for the count. Well, I was. But it seems like I've gotten up. I think I'm up now. So they can stop the count.