Goodbye old friend and hello, anxiety!

My last flatmate just left and he’s moving to a different country. Incidentally, he will be my last friend in the city. I just realized that I’m probably never going to see him again. Man! after staying together for 6 years… I am all alone now, in an empty three bedroom apartment with so many memories, while hunting for a different apartment.

There’s a thought that’s been bothering me for sometime. I’ve lived in a few cities but never could consider any one of them a “home”. A home would be a city that I knew inside out. A home would be a place where I could count on seeing familiar people everyday – the same flatmates, friends, the friendly barber who recognizes you, the old man and his dog across the street. Have you seen those tv shows where characters regularly show up at the local coffee shop or pub and everybody there knows them?

Maybe I should get the heck out of this city and search for a place which is “home” for me. Maybe I did not do enough to make that happen for me here. Where do I go from here?

Being alone is a strange thing. I’ve given up on the fantasy that anyone is going to fall head over heels for me. I have few really good friends though, but none nearby. I really can’t socialize, plus I’m an introvert. That’s a really great combo sometimes. I’m really lost aren’t I? Why don’t they teach socializing in school? Seems like the only thing that you would remember or actually apply in adult life.