"Never give up on your team." Next time, Miami Heat fans, listen to your friend Phil Jackson. He's a cool dude; he's trying to help you out. (Also, he's dressed like Obi-Wan Kenobi, which, weirdly enough, wasn't even part of the wardrobe for the commercial. It's just what he had on when he showed up to the shoot.)

Since this makes it clear that other things predicted in 2005 will come to pass in 2013, let's get ahead of the curve and invest heavily in elephants that can dance like Gene Kelly. I'm not sure how they're going to make us money in the months ahead, but man, we've got to try something.