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Likelypedia

IN LIGHT of the loss of our communal encyclopaedia, ‘Wikipedia‘, I have decided to step forth and aid those ignoramuses who still seek knowledge despite the blackout. Thus I am proud to present my very own astonishing… Likelypedia!

I am a fountain of knowledge. Come, drink from my spout.

~

A

Aardvark: the aroused form of a softvark.

Abound: the act of a bounder.

Absinthe: a magical green liquid which can make days simply VANISH.

Abundance: a jig or a waltz performed by bakers.

Agent: singular form of gentlemen.

Analogue: a ledger for cataloguing anal sex acts.

Angler: one who constructs protractors, set squares etc.

Antelope: what occurs when two ants love each other very much, and wish to flee from their disapproving parents.

Anticlimax: the result of a particular awful bout of sexual intercourse.

Testimony: the delighted, groaning sound a gentleman makes when a lady fondles his ball-bags.

U

Uvula: a foolish vampire who decides to go out in harmful UV rays, despite warnings and no sunblock. (Submitted by Ms. Jenn Thorson).

W

Wombat:a mythical creature that hangs around on Wimbledon common with a bat. (Submitted by @Vampcat66).

~

Keep your eyes peeled for I shall be updating the Likelypedia as and when more pearls of wisdom drop forth. Of course, YOU can contribute to – either comment below, or use the Twittering Device or the Book of Many Faces.

In the meantime, do not forget to read up about the awful SOPA legislation – a form of soap that will only wash away the good.

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About His Lordship

Lord Likely was a renowned member of the English aristocracy in the Victorian era. Tales of his exhilarating, enthralling and highly erotic exploits were legendary, but only now have his own, personal diaries resurfaced (found in a branch of Help the Aged in Swindon), shedding light on the life of this extraordinary eccentric.

Warning: these journals contain material that some people may find terribly offensive, or incredibly arousing