A WTF Corrected

From the anti-management buffoons who brought you this, I offer the following conversation:

Business Analyst: We need the business rules to change to accommodate xxx
Overlord: How extensive are the changes (# systems to modify, man-months, ...)?
Business Analyst: Don't know, but it can't be much
Overlord: If you don't know what's involved, you can't claim it won't take much.
How long would it take you to investigate and come back with an estimate?
Business Analyst: It can't take that long. Give me an hour
[overlord looks at me with raised eyebrow]
Me: It'll take 3 man weeks to do the work, 2 weeks for the (mandatory) QA team
processing, and a week to schedule the deployment (using the mandated formal
process, teams, ...)
Business Analyst: No way, we can just change the files in production... (gets cut off)
Overlord: No! That was only for the initial deployment to get things going. Now we are
going to follow established procedure (Borg-like implication: You WILL comply!)
Business Analyst: I'm telling you that can't be right
[overlord looks at me and I just shake my head]
Overlord (to me): Based upon the severe overestimation of the scope of the previous project,
how do you think we should proceed?
Me: (takes deep breath and gambles) We need to separate the roles of Business
Analyst and Project Manager. Keep (BA) in the BA role and bring in someone
who gets software best practices and project estimation
Business Analyst: [panics]<RAPIDLY object to starts>
Overlord: Given the recent disaster, I am inclined to agree
Business Analyst: [swallows hard]<SWALLOWS hard>
Me: [heaves deep (internal) sigh of relief]

It's good to know that your Overlord is actually looking out for your best interests.

He's looking out for his best interests. He just hasn't yet found a reason why stomping on you would get him a bonus.

Agreed! Although we did get the project done as demanded, in spite of the stupidity of it all. This Overlord was once a real developer, whereas our BA once wrote a couple hundred lines of Perl script. While I admire anyone who can decipher Perl (a little too cryptic for my personal tastes), having done JUST Perl just once doesn't qualify you to manage a project that interfaces with every major system in a large firm.

Aside: this BA actually understands the requirements in his small world; he simply isn't qualified for the larger picture in which he was assigned to work. Some people just get promoted once too often and then kablooie!

Aside: this BA actually understands the requirements in his small world; he simply isn't qualified for the larger picture in which he was assigned to work. Some people just get promoted once too often and then kablooie!

We call that the Peter Principle, and I've seen it in effect more than once.

Wow. You are so lucky! Our company doesn't have any "business analysts". Sounds like a really useful function. If you could get a project manager too, that would be awesome. We used to have "project managers" and "product managers" but they all got laid off in 2004. Now we just have customers with stupid ideas, clueless overlords, and one programmer (me).

Wow. You are so lucky! Our company doesn't have any "business analysts". Sounds like a really useful function. If you could get a project manager too, that would be awesome. We used to have "project managers" and "product managers" but they all got laid off in 2004. Now we just have customers with stupid ideas, clueless overlords, and one programmer (me).

Good lord! Who manages your projects and products then? Who analyzes your business? This sounds like anarchy, or communism! Or both!

Wow. You are so lucky! Our company doesn't have any "business analysts". Sounds like a really useful function. If you could get a project manager too, that would be awesome. We used to have "project managers" and "product managers" but they all got laid off in 2004. Now we just have customers with stupid ideas, clueless overlords, and one programmer (me).

I consider you lucky. We have project managers, business analysts, business unit consultants, architects, developers, functional support people, technical support people, and the list just goes on...