Today marks 1 month since I had my mitral valve replaced for the second time and for the last time! I have overcome so much in the last month and am so grateful to have my life back.

I think it’s pretty cool that not only is today the one month milestone, but also the final game in the NCAA which UCONN is playing in. You see the coach of the UCONN mens basketball team, Jim Calhoun shares a history of heart disease with me, we also share and trust the same fantastic cardiology team at UConn Health Center. Jim and his wife feel so strongly about the UConn Health Center Cardiology team that they put thier name on it! I had my surgery at the UConn Health Center at the Pat & Jim Calhoun Cardiology Center. The day I was released from the hospital, actually the minute I sat down in my husband's car the UConn Men's Basketball team won a game at the buzzer where they would go on to the next round of the Big East tournament. I would love to be able to celebarate this 1 month milestone by having the UConn Men's Basketball Team Win the tournament! My fingers and toes are crossed for tonight!!

I want to use this journal entry to thank my friends and family and of course the Heart Valve Journal community. This website has been so helpful, during a time when I otherwise would have felt alone, I found comfort and support from people across the world who were going through the same thing as me. I received messages from people I've never even met telling me they were praying for me which was truly touching. And on that same note, have prayed for people whom I have never met, so for that I thank you HVJ community!

My friends and family have been more than supportive. I received so many cards, visits, phone calls, e-mails, Facebook messages, gift baskets, flowers, etc (you get the point). from people who just wanted to let me know that they cared. Friends of mine from high school who I haven't chatted with in years reached out to me on Facebook to offer words of support. So many of my friends came by to visit and I am truly grateful. I have been truly blessed with the most amazing support system. I love you all!

I also want to thank my colleagues at work for all of the support they have given me and for picking up the slack for the last 4 weeks I was away from work! I am so lucky to get to work with such a fantastic group of people everyday.

I must thank my fantastic Doctors, & Nurses at UConn Health Center. They are all truly fantastic! My Cardiologist, Dr. Schulman has always held a special place in my heart and always will. He is truly an incredible doctor and has a special way with his patients! And of course the man behind the mask, Dr. Hammond, my surgeon has for the second time in my life saved my life!

Last but certainly not least my parents and my husband who sat with me for hours every single day and night that I was in the hospital. I know it was hard for them to see me in so much pain and hooked up to what seemed like every machine in the hospital, but they stayed strong and positive for me. I remember taking walks in the hospital holding onto my father and my husband, my two favorite men were there to hold my hand every step of the way (literally). My mom stayed with us for the first 2 nights after I came home from the hospital just in case we needed anything, her and Craig let me relax while they figured out the many medications I’d be taking. And when I had to sleep on the recliner in our living room for a week, my husband wouldn’t leave my side, he slept on the couch so he could be close to me. My husband and I have always had a strong relationship and though I wish I never had to go through this, this experience has brought us so much closer together!

I really don’t think there are enough words of appreciation for all of the prayers, and words of encouragement that I received over the last few weeks. I’m so glad that this is behind me and I’m ready to get back to my life, I will happily return to my job on Wednesday April 6. I am truly, truly, blessed and thankful for each and every one of you!
THANK YOU!
~Tara

I've been journaling less often, but I guess that's a good sign, I don't have much to report. It's amazing what a difference each week makes. I am happy to say that I have reached many of my goals from last week with the exception of laying flat on my back, I pretty much reached all of the goals I set last week.

*Take longer walks
*Eat out at a restaurant
*Maintain normal Coumadin level!!
*Go to the store

I had my follow up appointment with my surgeon's nurse practitioner and had my coumadin levels checked and it was 2.6, for the first time it was normal, that for me was the most exciting news! I am looking into purchasing an at home INR machine with the help of my insurance, has anyone else done this?

The thing that is scary to me, is that as soon as I find out that I'm pregnant I have to switch over to Lovonox, because Coumadin is very dangerous to the baby during the first trimester. I would prefer to switch over to Lovonox prior to getting pregnant but I've been told its expensive and there is a chance my insurance won't cover the cost of Lovonox until I'm pregnant. I just pray that they will.

Other than that my only complaint right now is that my back gets sore when I sit up for a long period of time, does anyone else have this problem? I'm hoping it goes away with time.

This week I'll be home by myself the whole week. I'm hoping it goes fast. Last week I had a friend stay with me for a few days and was really only home by myself on Friday. My plan for now is to stay home this week and try to go back to work the following week maybe Wednesday April 6th. I have a follow up appointment with my cardiologist on Tuesday April 5th so as long as he is comfortable with me heading back to work, than I'm ready to start slow and go back a few days a week and maybe work from home the other days.

Yay! I'm so excited to finally reach the 2 week milestone! I have to say for the most part, I've been feeling so much better this whole week. It's amazing how much progress I've made in the last week. It hasn't all been easy, there have been a few difficulties along the way and I'm really hoping that my recovery only gets easier.

Today was a beautiful day out and a friend came over with her 5 week old munchkin and we went for a walk, my longest yet! I felt winded towards the end so we stopped. Later on I started to feel a little fever coming on, I took a cool shower and just drank a lot of water. Hopefully I can sleep it off tonight, I really don't think I have it in me to fight being sick. I REALLY want to get better. My husband goes back to work on Monday and I want him to be able to go with a peace of mind so he doesn't have to worry about me, he's done plenty of that! I am going to miss having him home though.

My Coumadin levels haven't exactly been steady which for me is the scary part. I've had a visiting nurse here 3 times this week. First it was high 3.8, then it was low 1.7 and again today it was low 1.7. For those of who you who may not know, a good coumadin level is between 2 and 3 however my doctors want to see my levels between 2.5 and 3.5. I think I'm just scared about having to manage this the rest of my life. Today the nurse pricked my finger and no blood came out because I was so low, thats crazy! I'm trying to find out if my insurance will cover the purchase of the INR machine (the machine used to test my coumadin levels) It's such a serious medicine to be on and being too high or too low is soo scary to me.

I'm trying to find a primary care physician near me. I had an appointment with one earlier this week, but I really didn't like him. He seemed so antiquated and it was obvious that he does the same thing with every patient. He asked me to lay flat on his patient table and when I told him I couldn't he said he wouldn't be able to hear my heart. I had to remind him that I was just 2 weeks shy of having had open heart surgery and laying flat on my back hadn't been added to my list of accomplishments yet. So I did a little more reasearch and have an appointment with another doctor next Friday. ((Fingers Crossed))

I realized that this journal entry started out so positive and then I started to complain. My apologies, so I'm going to end on a positive note: Here are some of my accomplishments within the last week:

*Sleeping in my own bed (with lots of pillows)
*Reached 2,500 on Incentive Spirometer
*Stopped taking pain medicine
*Back to a normal diet and eating habits
*Can walk up and down stairs on my own
*No passing out in the shower!
*Did the dishes on my own
*Prepared meals on my own
*Took my longest walk yet

Goals for next week:

*Lay flat on my back
*Take longer walks
*Eat out at a restaurant
*Maintain normal Coumadin level!!
*Go to the store

It really helps to read everyone elses progress so I can compare it to my own. At times I feel like I can do anything but than I have to remind myself that I need to take it slow and not rush anything.

Yes, you read that subject right! I decided It was time to try sleeping in bed, this time on my back and not my side. I had pretty much every single pillow stacked up so that I was as comfortable as possible. Lucky for me, my husband only requires 1 pillow. I slept through the whole night and boy did it feel good to be able to finally sleep in my own bed next to my husband! I think my husband was secretly glad to also be able to sleep in bed again too, because since I've been home we've both been sleeping downstairs in the living room.

The pain in my side has finally gone away, I'm guessing that little gnome got the hint that he wasn't wanted. Actually most of my pain has gone away. I'm just still very sleepy during the day and my chest still hurts when I take a deep breath. In the last week, I've definately reached some major milestones and learned a few things along the way. I think the best decision I made was to borrow my mother's recliner, although I'm tired of sitting in it, it really has been the best thing for my recovery. So for those of you preparing for surgery, if you don't have one I'd suggest asking around if you can borrow someones for a few weeks.

I have on 3 different occasions in the last 2 days had the sensation as though I was going to sneeze. I take a deep breath and then nothing happens. I seem to go into a yawn or something, Is my body smart enough to not let me sneeze? Has anyone else experienced this!?
~Tara

It's been 2 days since I last wrote. After that last day I described in my previous journal entry, my husband and I decided to see if I could try to keep away from the pain medicine since it was the side effects seemed to be what was casuing me so much grief. It was a good decision, I toughed out the pain through the night and for the last 2 nights have slept pretty well and more importantly been able to eat a normal breakfast, lunch and dinner and keep it down.

The most exciting news is that I reached 2,000 mL on the incentive spriometer! It's not consistent yet but I'm still excited and positive.

I just want to get back to being my normal life, its a lot harder than people think to sit around all day, every day only getting up a few times to take a brief walk. I still have several weeks of this ahead of me. ugh.

After yesterday's fiasco, I didn't even attempt to shower today. I will be getting a seat for the shower tomorrow and of course will feel more comfortable once I have that to use. I did however get a much better nights sleep on the recliner and slept through
most of the night.

Craig and I took a small walk outside today, it was hard not to with the beautiful weather we had here. More importantly, I am so proud that I finally reached 1500 mL on the incentive spirometer today, my goal is to get back to 2,000 -2,500 mL. Just after the surgery I was barely reaching 500 mL so its good to see my lungs are improving.

Despite the improvement in my lungs, I must say that this pain in my right side seems to be getting worse. It feels like there is a little gnome inside me twisting my insides. I really wish he would stop. I took more pain medicine today than I normally do and while it helps, I quickly learned that it makes me nauseas so lunch and dinner didn't stay down. However, I somehow managed to keep the Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream down that our friends Andrew and Michele brought for me! :) I would love to hear any good food suggestions of things that might be easier to keep down, besides toast. The frustrating part is that I had just taken my medicine an hour before I got sick, so how do we know if the medicine,more importantly the Coumadin, I took stayed down or not?

It's tough because for the most part, I feel like I'm getting back to my normal-positive-self, but all of these aches and pains and little setbacks are making it more difficult to try to stay positive. I guess I just have to remind myself of the improvement I've seen in just 1 week, and try to think positive for the next week.

We arrived home from the hospital yesterday and I was thrilled to be able to walk into my front door. My mom, however was on a mission to go pick up my many perscriptions at our local pharmacy, while my husband and I got ourselves situated. When my mom came home her and my husband sat at our kitchen table trying to decipher the long list of medicine & vitamin supplements and when I needed to take them and how often etc. It was actually quite cute. Much to thier dismay, I've posted the photos on "my photos".

My homecoming all started out pretty well, until bedtime. I purchased a wedge pillow prior to my surgery so that I could try sleeping on a bit of an incline. After lots of tossing and turning, and adding and subtracting pillows, I finally found a comfortable position on my left side. Well about 3 hours into my sleep I woke up screaming in pain, and quickly learned the hard way that sleeping on my side was not a good idea. I told my husband that I thought it would be best If I slept downstairs on the recliner, and after taking a much needed dose of pain medicine, I drifted off into sleep with my husband sleeping on the couch next to me, he didn't want to leave my side. I can't say that I woke up feeling "refreshed" this morning but I have come to terms with the fact that for the next week or so, a good nights sleep is just not in my future. After reading a few things online at 1:30 in the morning I now understand that I will have to sleep in the recliner for the first week or so. If anyone has any additional tips on sleeping comfortably, I'm listening!

(Also a side note, I've been having the strangest dreams, has anyone else experienced this? I'll just chalk it up to the 11 bottles of medicine/ vitamin supplements that are on my kitchen counter.)

Well after taking it easy all day, I decided to take a shower. I asked my husband to stay in the bathroom with my while I attempted to freshen up in the shower. I noticed that I started to feel a little dizzy which I communicated to him. I stepped away from the water and leaned against the shower wall took a deep breath and continued to rinse the shampoo from my hair. After turning off the water and wrapping my self in a towel handed to me by my husband, he helped me out of the shower. I quickly told him that I needed to sit down and that I felt weird. Now in panic mode he tried to help me to sit but before either of us could do anything I fainted. It wasn't dramatic,I think i just sat on the bathroom floor and blacked out for a second or two. My poor husband, was a nervous-wreck tried calling 9-1-1- in those few seconds but for some unacceptable reason no one answered. Luckily I came to and assured him that I was ok and asked him to get me some water and a banana. We phoned my cardiologist, and he told us not to worry, that with all the medicine I'm taking my body is de-conditioned and weak and taking a hot shower while standing up for the next week or two is not a great idea. He suggested I lay down and drink some Orange Juice. I felt much better once I could lay down and drink something. Oh my poor, panicked, terrifed, husband, was shaking and trying to quickly make a meal for me to eat. I realize this isn't my fault and so does he, but I feel so bad for putting him through all of this.

I'm really looking foward to getting past this first week of being home and I am counting on each day geting a little easier.

Well, its been 6 long days since my surgery and I'm happily awaiting my dishcharge papers, so that I can get back home and start this whole recovery process.

I'm looking forward to being in my own comfy, cozy home with my husband.

I think the one thing that surprised me the most, was the fact that during my hospital stay I didn't really want any visitors. I'm usually a social butterfly and love being around my friends and family and actually planned on having a lot of friends come by, but really until yesterday I haven't been my normal self. I think being in ICU with the awful headaches, for so long really made my recovery more difficult, and If my friends are around I would want to chat with them, and course being as drugged up as I have, I ve been tired and yes even a bit cranky. I just hope they understand and don't take offense. There is something strange about seeing the look on people's faces when they see you lying there helpless, it feels a bit like your on display at a museum and I just didn't want that, nor did I want to put my friends through that either. I'm not 100% but I am feeling much better and I'm very much looking forward and welcoming friends and famiy visiting once I'm home!
~Tara

It's me,Tara, I'm finally back online. Thank you so much for your thoughts and well wishes, they mean so much to my family and I. As my husband shared with you, the surgery was a success!

I was a lot less nervous the morning of the surgery than I thought I would be. I did breakdown when the nurse came into the waiting room and call my name. I was taken to a prep room where they took my vitals, and the anesthesiologist came in and told me what they were going to do, his words were, "we have a great happy hour here". which made me smile. My family was invited in for a few minutes before they drugged me, and again afterwards. I shared with my parents and husband that I had just had 2 Long Island Iced Teas and a Margarita since they had seen me in the last 3 minutes. I remember saying I love you and after that, I'm guessing the drugs kicked in because the next thing I remember was waking up in ICU with the dreaded breathing tube in my throat.

I was frantically writing notes to my family trying to communicate to them what was on my mind. At one point my mom went to write back to until she realized she could just speak her answer out loud to me! :) It was nice to find some comedy in that stressful moment.

I learned that I only needed my mitral valve replaced. The surgeon said the Aortic valve was actually fine, it looked worse on the echocardiogram than it actually was.

It's been a tough week, for the first three days I was in ICU with a throbbing headache. It may have been from the morphine, so if you are about to have surgery, find out of if they can give you something other than morphine because it took a lot of trial and error to figure out what was causing the headaches. The headaches were keeping me from wanting to do anything like, sit-up, eat, take medicine, and then of course the other pain medication caused neusea....it was hard to find that happy medium, but once we did and the nausea and headaches went away (yesterday) I was eager to get back on the road to recovery.

Besides the headaches and nausea, the only other two odd things that I felt after the surgery, were an itchy scalp and a very dry nose from the nasular oxygen tubes. If you experience either of these two post surgery symptoms, I would suggest asking your nurse for the special shower cap which has water and shampoo in it, it doesn't require for your hair to be rinsed or dried but felt amazing. As for the dry bleeding nose, there is an ointment they can give you and just apply it to your nose a few times a day with a q- tip, it really helped!

Thank goodness I have been blessed with fantastic nurses! They have been great! I have been having some pain on my right side, which is most likely fluid in my lungs, so they are encouraging me to use my incentive spirometer every hour to help build up the lungs again. I am really trying to take as deep breaths as I can but its not easy especially with all the pain I have in new places. I am determined to get better and will use the incentive spirometer (breathing machine) all day everyday if it means a faster recovery.

I have also been taking walks around the floor today i took 5 walks 1 of them was by myself, though I walk slowly and I definately feel out of breath I know its good for me. I also showered today which was amazing it feels good to be clean and refreshed!

My surgeon came to check on my today and he's hoping to send me home tomorrow! ((fingers crossed)) I am eager to get back to my home and my husband!

I am getting tired and will try to get some sleep tonight. I hope to post more tomorrow night from my living room!

I CAN"T THANK YOU ENOUGH for your words support & encouragement I have read every guest book message and facebook comment and am so grateful to have such a fantastic group of supporters, some who have never even met me! thank you!

24 hours after Tara's surgery, Tara is in a lot of pain, and her afternoon seemed to be the toughest, in a lot of pain, couldnt get comfortable, couldnt eat, sleep or have enough strength to talk. Her nurse was great, and helped her to get out of bed and into a chair, which seemed to help quite a bit. I worked with her on breathing exercises, and trying to get her muscles moving. Tara's family and I gave her some alone time, and went out to eat at a local restaurant, to clear our heads, and let the nurses work with her. When we came back, it was like night and day, and she was hungry, upbeat, her breathing improved, she was much more comfortable, and she was able to speak with much more strength, drink water and do her breathing exercises without any help. If there is a piece of advice I could give to family and friends, its to give the patient time alone with the staff, clear your head for a while if things in the room seem tough. It really seemed to help in our case. I will keep everyone updated, and best of luck to all.

This is Tara's husband Craig, and I wanted to let you all know that she has just gotten out of surgery, and according to the surgeon it was a huge success, with nothing unexpected happening, she is on her way to the recovery room now. Surgery lasted about 4.5 hours, and her mitral valve was replaced with a mechanical one.
This journal has been a godsent to her, and she cares about each and everyone of you. I am sure she will write more in the coming days during her recovery, using her new nook bought for her by some very great friends.
I wish each of you great luck, and stay positive, as that is what has helped me for the past month or so.

So I got about 4.5 hours of sleep last night and should be exhausted but I've had this pit in my stomach all day, shaky hands and have been nauseous all day. Its pretty safe to say, I'm nervous. But behind all of those nerves are the thoughts & prayers of my amazingly incredible support system. I am really doing my best to stay positive and I am going to try my darndest to put my meditation exercises to good use tomorrow morning. It's a good thing they will be giving me a strong dose of anesthesia tomorrow, because as tired as I am, I'm pretty sure I won't be sleeping much tonight.

I'm really looking forward to getting this over with and starting the recovery process.

My husband, Craig, will be updating my journal for me tomorrow once I'm out of surgery!

As I lay in bed at 4:00 a.m this morning, and try to force myself back to sleep for another hour, I realize it's just not happening. Too many thoughts are racing through my mind. I realize that today, my last day at work before my surgery, is my last day of normalcy for the next few weeks. I am putting pressure on myself to make sure its a good day, and to make sure I don't take anything for granted. I am certain that the next 48 hours are going to be a roller coaster of emotions, but there is no other way around it.

I must say that this website has been so therapeutic for me, especially because I was able to connect with other heart valve patients. During a time when I was feeling alone, I suddenly had the support of strangers,but strangers who know exactly how I'm feeling. I quickly realized that we weren't strangers anymore. I have read many of your journal entries and prayed for people I've never even met, and have taken great comfort in finding out that your surgeries were successful! I think we all know how important it is to have a great support system, and as I have said before I do have amazing family & friends but this community offers its own special support and has also played a major role in preparing for my own surgery, and for that I am grateful!

Today was a hectic day, busy at work trying to get everything in order and tomorrow is going to be even busier. A nurse from theUConn Health Center called me today to review a few things with me. I asked her If I'd be able to keep my wedding band on during the surgery, I know it sounds silly but I just want to have a part of my husband in the operating room with me. She said to wear my wedding band in and ask the doctor, they may need to take it off but hopefully I can keep it nearby. I also found out that I'd be able to have earphones in and can listen to relaxing music during the surgery!

My dad is coming from NJ tomorrow and will be staying with us, we have an early morning Friday. It's so close and is becoming more and more real with each day, which is good and bad. Good, because I want to have the surgery and get it over with and out of the way. Bad, because frankly I'm terrified and anxious. Despite my positive attitude these days and confidence in my surgeon, I'm still terrified.

On another note, I've been told I can't eat or drink anything after midnight tomorrow, so i'm trying to plan a big filling dinner, possibly even breakfast for dinner since I won't be able to eat breakfast on Friday morning, I'll skip the coffee though. If you have any suggestions of what I should eat or any simple recipes, feel free to share them with me! :)

I met with the therapist today, she worked with me on how to stay positive before, during and after the surgery. She told me to visualize what a healthy heart looks like, ( i.e. blood flowing in the right direction, valves functioning properly, etc.) She advised me not to use statements that included negative words such as, my heart won't have a leaky valve, because my subconscious would only focus on the negative, in this case, "leaky valve".

She also suggested that I find out if I will be able to have earphones in so I can be listening to relaxing music during the surgery, which I think is a great idea. We also did a meditation exercise that helped relax me.

Overall, the focus of the session focused on ways to stay positive, and I have to say I think it really helped give me something specific to focus on. Hopefully this works, I'm really going to do my best to stay positive as much as possible and I encourage fellow Heart Valve patients to do the same.
~Tara

As my subject line says, I'm 4 days away from operation day! To say I'm nervous is an understatement. Realistically I know I'll be just fine, I've heard the statistics, read the book, and read the journal entries on this site, however if you are a fellow heart surgery patient, you know that there is nothing anyone can say that will make the fear, and anxiety go away.

I read the book this weekend and found it very informative and helpful, my husband and my mother have also read it.

Since I met with my surgeon last Wednesday, I've been feeling much more calm and haven't been emotional for several days, until last night, but every day is different, and as surgery day gets closer and closer, my anxiety level seems to increase. I have an appointment tomorrow with a therapist who will conduct a session with me called "Preparing for Surgery" I'm pretty sure it will involve meditation and relaxation exercises, which seems like exactly what I need. If anyone has any other suggestions on calming your mind before surgery, please feel free to let me know, I'm willing to try anything.

In the mean time, I'm just trying to keep myself occupied by cleaning, packing a bag for the hospital and most importantly getting everything in order at my job before I leave for the next few weeks.

I am blessed to have such an amazing support system, I could not get through this without the support of my husband, parents, family, friends, and colleagues. Several of my friends who live a plane ride away have offered to fly in to be with me, regardless of whether or not they do fly in, even just the thought means a lot to me!

On Friday friends ours planned a night out for my husband and I, which was exactly what we needed. As much as this whole process sucks, it is so touching to know how many people care, and for that I'm truly blessed.

Thank you for all of the comments in my guestbook I read them all, and I really appreciate your thoughts!
~Tara

Depending on who is reading this, you may or may not know that 10 years ago I had open heart surgery. At the young age of 21 I was misdiagnosed with the flu several times before my symptoms worsened and included coughing up blood, amnesia, and a spiking fever of 105. My wonderful college roommate and good friend, Jill, took me to the hospital. Once at the hospital I was told I had Pneumonia, and later told I had Endocarditis (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/endocarditis/DS00409) which basically means I had an infection on my heart valve. After a week in the hospital it was determined that the bacteria could not be killed with antibiotics and I was told I would need to have emergency open heart surgery. When I was given this information I was given a choice of the type of valve I wanted my choices:

1) A mechanical valve which lasts a lifetime, would never have to be replaced, but would keep me from ever having children because of the blood thinner medications I would need to take the rest of my life.

2) A Cow Valve which would need to be replaced in 10-15 years, blood thinners would not be necessary.

What’s a girl to do at age 21? Not wanting to rule out the option of having children and putting my complete faith in medical advancements I opted for the cow valve.

Well February 8, 2011 marked the 10 year anniversary of my valve replacement surgery and ironically it was the same day I had my annual appointment with my cardiologist. Having 9 other healthy appointments, EKG's and echocardiogram's I went into this appointment thinking it was just another routine visit. Well my doctor who I love dearly, didn't give me the news that I wanted to hear. After taking a look at the results of my echocardiogram, (basically a sonogram of the heart) he initially said that I would need another open heart surgery anywhere from 1-5 years he really wasn't sure. The day after I saw him he reviewed my case with a team of cardiologists and other medical specialists. He called me a few days later and told me that after carefully reviewing my echocardiogram with the rest of the medical team, it seems that my mitral valve is deteriorating at a faster rate than he initially thought, and my aortic valve is leaky, and that I would need for both of them to be replaced sooner than later.

Now married and wanting to start a family of our own, pregnancy is at the forefront of my thoughts these days, knowing this, my cardiologist also told me if that I were to get pregnant now that it would be a very dangerous situation. He did reassure me that once I have the mechanical valve put in that pregnancy would be possible for me, although it would be a lot of work maintaining the blood thinner regime during a pregnancy, and will involve injecting myself in the stomach with an insulin-like medication on a daily basis, but nonetheless it can be done.

The good news is that unlike the first surgery, I am healthy and I have time to wrap my head around all of this and mentally prepare myself as much as possible. The bad news is unlike the first surgery I have time to think about this and dwell on it for much longer.

Thanks to a friend who told me 10 years ago the night before my surgery, I now understand that these surgeons do this surgery several times a week and while it may not be routine for me, it is routine for them. I will be having the open heart surgery at UConn Health Center (John Dempsey Hospital) in Farmington, CT (which is where I had it done the first time and its where my cardiologist is) and the same surgeon who performed my surgery 10 years ago will be performing my surgery again this time.

My family and I met with my surgeon last Wednesday afternoon and he answered all of our questions and made us feel as comfortable as possible. The most important thing he said to us is that this is a low risk surgery so the odds of a healthy recovery are in my favor he said better than 95% and stressed the "Better Than". The surgery has been scheduled for Friday March 4 first thing in the morning, 7:30 a.m. at UConn Health Center (John Dempsey Hospital) in Farmington, CT. The surgery will take about 5 hours and I will be in the hospital for around 4-6 days, I'll be in ICU for the first day or two and then I will be moved to the Cardiac step-down unit. It’s hard to say how long the recovery at home will take any where from 4-8 weeks, could be less could be more, either way I'm really hoping for a speedy recovery.

Since meeting with my surgeon, I am strangely much calmer than I have been for the last 2 weeks when this whole nightmare began. I remember from going through this 10 years ago, the depression that follows, in anticipation of that I have found a therapist who offers a session on "Preparing for Surgery" which I will be attending next week, I also plan to check in with her after my surgery. I am lucky enough to have a great support system including of course my parents and an amazing husband, who have all been by my side through all of this. For many of my friends, and of course for my family, this is the second time I am putting them through this, I promise not to do this to you again! :)

These past few weeks have been a whirlwind. But I have the easy part, I get lots of drugs and will be asleep through all of it, my husband and my parents have the hard part, the waiting and the worrying. I am doing my best to stay positive, every day is different, I just want to have this surgery and get it over with so I can move on with my life, I have a lot more to look forward to.
~Tara