Tuesday, November 21, 2006

A meme...

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Mercy, it should be illegal for an afro to look this good!

How much cash do you have on you? $3

What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR?” More.

Favorite planet? Venus

Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? C-Money

What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? Shit. A bitch is old school and therefore doesn’t download ring tones. My current ring tone is some bullshit classical thing that came with the motherfucking phone.

What shirt are you wearing? A gray turtleneck sweater.

Do you “label” yourself? Yes and no.

Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing? Shit. The label wore off…

Bright or Dark Room? Dark

What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? I adore him!

What does your watch look like? Timex sorta-silver…fuck it, it glows in the dark!

What were you doing at midnight last night? Talking about that racist rant by Michael Richards with C-Money over vodka crans.

What did your last text message you received on your cell say? Oh shit…this phone takes text messages?

Where is your nearest 7-11? Fuck that shit…a bitch is all about the Smitty’s at the corner of Kingshighway and Southwest.

What's a word that you say a lot? Shit...shit?

Who told you he/she loved you last? My mentee.

Last furry thing you touched? Nola our office dawg.

How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Including today? Ummm…6 Claritin, 3 Excedrin PM, 3 Anti-Enid meds and a couple of pseudo-Sudafed for kicks.

How many rolls of film do you need developed? Seeing as this bitch hasn’t gotten pictures developed since 1996…we’re talking 30 rolls or more that I couldn‘t find to save my bloody life.

Favorite age you have been so far? 33…this has been a good year.

Your worst enemy? The Man (wink)

What is your current desktop picture? Fall foliage

What was the last thing you said to someone? Yeah, but did they take a shit out there or just bullshit around?

If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? The money…a bitch is afraid of heights.

Do you like someone? No. A bitch deals only in extreme emotions.

The last song you listened to? William DeVaughn Be Thankful for What You Got…diggin the scene with a gangsta lean, baby!

What time of day were you born? Lawd, a bitch’s mother celebrated my birthday on the wrong day for the first 11 years of my life and you want me to know shit like what time of day she pushed me out? Mercy!

What’s your favorite number? 2

Where did you live in 1987? St. Louis, Missouri

Are you jealous of anyone? No.

Is anyone jealous of you? Oh, I doubt it…I hope not…jealousy is tragic.

Where were you when 9/11 happened? On my way into the office.

What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Take it as a sign that my ass didn’t need that Twix bar.

Do you consider yourself kind? I can be.

If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? I have one…a shark on my shoulder. I’d get one on the other shoulder for balance.

If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Sign language

Would you move for the person you loved? No.

Are you touchy feely? No.

What’s your life motto? Keep it real.

Name three things that you have on you at all times? MAC Film Noir or Underworld lipstick, a notepad and pen…and lotion

What’s your favourite town/city? Are you kidding? St. Louis...because a bitch loves danger!

What was the last thing you paid for with cash? A Caramel Latte

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? Last week.

Can you change the oil on a car? Yes.

Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? Things are going very well.

How far back do you know about your ancestry? As far as the docks of Virginia.

The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? I wore a fashion forward jacket, bad ass blue eyeglasses and velvet pants to the HRC Gala event.

Does anything hurt on your body right now? Oooh, honey...I'd share, but I don't even know your middle name.

Have you been burned by love? No, but I’ve blisters and scars from bullshit passing itself off as love.

Smooches to you Shark.....I'll raise a vodka cran in your honor at tomorrow's feast. Thanks for the story of Enid. I laid to rest one of my own some years back and had forgotten....But like you, the experience gave me a renewed appreciation for life.

Hey Shark-fu!Happy Thanksgiving from the land of REAL Smarties, which is delightfully free of Family Togetherness this week.I know it's a holiday, but I have a troll lurking and I need your afro-related ass-whupping skills!