K’s Case: Insomnia Cookies

Welcome to K’s Case, where the all-too fussy Khalid (that’s me!) brings down divine judgement upon places that have a certain standing in people’s minds. In other words, I go to supposedly really good, or bad, college joints and myth-bust their reputation. Case closed.

It’s hard to ignore what truly fuels most late-night papers: Insomnia Cookies. But is it really all that?

We’ll be going over the good, the bad and the ugly of Insomnia. At the end, we’ll come to a verdict on if Insomnia is really as good as the streets say.

Everyone talks about how great Insomnia is, but I’ve noticed a few downsides right off the bat. They’re undercooked like 50 percent of the time, which is a pretty big no-no for cookies. Raw cookie dough is nice, fully baked cookie dough is nice, anything in between is an abomination that the earth should be rid of. Yeah, they do have well-baked cookies the other 50 percent of the time, but I’m not about risking that 50/50 lifestyle.

Also, can we talk about how overpriced their cookies are? $2.50 is a pretty steep price for a singlecookie, and unless you’re the cookie monster himself, it’s hard to justify that. The prices do get better if you buy cookies in bulk. But I’m a simple man with simple needs and a dozen-cookie order is just excessive.

Let’s also talk about the on-campus location itself: generously put, it’s a shoebox. What even is the point of having a walk-in store when there’s nothing on the inside? All the other places on that row have some form of seating. So why, Insomnia, why?

To be fair though, I can’t complain about their cookie selection, and I doubt anyone can. They have nine traditional cookies to satisfy every sweet tooth, and when you’re bored of that, there’s always the mysterious other stuff at Insomnia that everyone knows about but no one seems to talk about.

In this breakdown of Insomnia’s reputation, we can’t forget why Insomnia rose to prominence.

There’s a reason why it’s called Insomnia. Crying over that paper you had six weeks to work on but started the night before? Insomnia is here to support. Chilling with your friends for a few hours later than you expected? Insomnia’s only gonna bring you closer together. Binge-watching Friends to give some, any, meaning to the empty void that is your life? Insomnia isn’t gonna give it meaning, but at least you’ll feel better.

Finally, it’s really hard to nitpick on Insomnia considering their choice of “cuisine.” Cookies are one of those sacred foods: when they’re made well, they’re great, and when they’re bad, they’re still pretty damn good.

And if we’re being honest, regardless of whether their cookies are suboptimal or not, they’ll always hold a special place in the hearts of students. Besides, it’s not like there’s really an alternative.

So is Insomnia worthy of its reputation? In a somewhat plot twist, the verdict is…