Sunday, April 14, 2013

If Bill Moseley is in a movie, I'm going to watch it. If Bill Moseley AND Danielle Harris are in a movie TOGETHER, you couldn't pry me away from it. Therefore, even though most reviews on Netflix and IMDB warn me against this movie, I'm going in full speed.

If you've heard rumors that there is a topless girl in this movie, you would be correct. However, fair warning that girl is not Danielle Harris, but is Samantha Facchi/Siong, who plays the adult Mary. The premise is that in 1979, on Long Island, Mary Mattock/Hatchet killed her whole family, and then was put in a mental institution, where she is raped by a security guard and becomes pregnant. After her baby does not survive the birth, she escapes and goes on a murderous rampage throughout the hospital.

Years later, local teens celebrate the anniversary of Blood Night with the normal stuff like drinking, partying, and underage sex. Oh, and also bombing people with tampons, bloody handprints, and eggs. While screwing around in a cemetery with an Oujia board, they run into Graveyard Gus (Bill Moseley). He tells them a Mary Hatchet story, and sends them off to party.

Finally, Danielle Harris (Alissa) arrives and tells this ridiculous gang rape story, which is fake! Um, what? Much like any teenage slasher, everyone proceeds to get hammered and have sex, which of course is the perfect opening for a vengeful spirit. Luckily, Graveyard Gus is still in the picture! I'd like to think that the cheesy lines and overacting in this movie are intentional, and that this slasher is a bit tongue in cheek. It seems to be giving a little nod to a few horror standard -- the digging up of the ghost's body, death from behind during sex, and even Graveyard Gus himself, who was apparently modeled after Crazy Ralph. There's even a little Halloween-esque twist, which was clever in light of casting Jamie Lloyd herself.

The death scenes were pretty awesome. We've got some decapitation, face slicing, and even a girl's intestines getting wound around a pickaxe. I do agree with other reviewers that maybe Mary should have used a hatchet for most of her killings, after her moniker. All in all, this was a fun slasher flick that obviously took some cues from some teen scream classics. I can't say I've ever seen a killer that runs around in the complete nude, but hey, if you've got it, flaunt it, girl.