For women who don't find themselves following the traditional "marriage and baby by 35" timetable, there are many others paths to motherhood.

For women who don't find themselves following the traditional "marriage and baby by 35" timetable, there are many other paths to motherhood: Use sperm from a friend or a donor, find a surrogate, freeze eggs to extend your window of fertility, adopt. Rachel Lehmann-Haupt found herself contemplating these choices after ending a serious relationship at age 32. In her new book, In Her Own Sweet Time: Unexpected Adventures in Finding Love, Commitment, and Motherhood, Lehmann-Haupt talks to women who became moms in every conceivable way, weaving their stories into her own journey toward motherhood.

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The women you interviewed became moms in many different ways. Was there one thing they all had in common?
Yes — the route women take to motherhood is changing so much, but the desire to be a mother is still an age-old biological urge. My father once told me, "You've loved babies ever since you were a baby." And it's true, I feel this incredible connection to my friends' kids and to other children.

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I noticed this intense connection between the older mothers I interviewed and their children; it didn't matter whether there was a biological connection. Their children came to be because the moms went through a lot of emotional decisions — and, often, challenging medical procedures — and I think that made them really appreciate what they had. At the same time, some women don't feel the biological pull, and that's okay too.

What was the best piece of mom wisdom you picked up while writing the book?
The importance of community. In fact, there are studies saying that friendship is more important than family for our health. Since single moms don't have a natural family structure, they create communities with other moms. I think moms in more traditional relationships can look to them for ideas on how to maintain a sense of community.

Do you see any downside to having so many reproductive options these days?
The good side is that there is less social stigma to being a single mom or an older mom today; the bad side is that it's more difficult to navigate the best way for you. The only answer I can give is that it's such an individual decision that the best way to do it is to follow your own values.