Uncanny X-Men #497Review

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Still counting down to the big 500.

By Bryan Joel

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Oh God. How long before this goes away? It's a chore to get through Uncanny X-Men these days, especially when the focus is the absolutely atrocious 1969 story. Big things are ahead for this title in particular, and I couldn't be more excited for them. But I really feel like burying my head in the sand until this tripe is over with.

I wish I could use specific examples from the plot to show just how ridiculous this all is, but sadly enough, nothing really happens. Scott and Emma wander the streets of San Francisco for a dozen pages and Goddess yammers on like she's on painkillers. Silly outfits! Mind control! Zero plot advancement! This story borders on offensive. There's obviously meant to be some tension in Goddess's true identity, but I couldn't care less.

The sole saving grace of this period of Uncanny is the European excursion with Wolverine, Colossus, and Nightcrawler. Painfully, their panel time this issue is limited, but what's there is good fun. The fight scene is sufficiently cool, if nothing else. It seems to be leading somewhere that interests me, which is more than I can say for the Cyclops and Emma portion, which just seems to exist to set up a new status quo. Brandon Choi's art is a mixed bag. It feels oddly appropriate for the San Francisco scenes, with all their weirdness. But it's a little too polished for the gritter Logan & Friends scene.

Perhaps the biggest waste of time of all "Divided We Stand" tie-ins. A shame, really, considering Uncanny X-Men stood to gain the most coming out of "Messiah Complex." Unfortunately for us, it looks like we'll have to wait until issue #500 in July to really get anything worthwhile from the book.