Last Week's Results

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Week 10 – RECAP

Tue, Jun 24, 2014

Emotions ran high this week, as only Erik’s pictures can capture the howls of both joy and pain heard from our 16 teams coming to clash bats on another fine Sunday. Let our staff woo you with their poetic interpretations. Let our images tickle your eyeballs. What else you got going on Tuesday afternoon…work? Pftt.

11am

Field #1: Clemerica vs. Loggers (Stryker)

LOST TO CLEMS?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

If you schedule the Battleship at 11am on field #1, you are basically handing us a W. As I hobbled into the park with Breeze at 10:40ish, half the Loggers (and Craig!) were already on the field getting some BP. The rest of the Battleship crew staggered in slowly, tired, angry, and hungover. Both teams were hungry for a W this day as neither one wanted to be the team with only a slightly better record than the Gibson.

But the Battleship had more at stake…revenge! The Loggers crushed us by 12 last year, and the year before that they tore Breeze’s ACL, and the year before that they dislocated his shoulder. We will protect O’ Capitan. We will guard you. We will slice the brisket for you.

The tone was set with the first batter. Styrker struck him out…swinging. The dewy morning air was adding a little bit of extra magic on the ball as it poetically released from my gentle yet firm grip. ****Stop reading if these last two sentences are making you sick. It was Stryker all day out there and it’s gonna be Stryker the rest of this recap.

Stryker had an amazing no hitter going thru 5……batters. Stryker’s first AB? Crushed a home run. We were up and up by a good amount. The Loggers would score a few here and there, but stranded more than they landed due to some delicious high stinky cheese that they couldn’t lay off. Stryker would go on to have 3 or 4 strike outs on the day and made some gracefully handsome plays fielding from the mound, including a laser that was up the middle at his face.

There was a scare late in the game as a massive Logger stepped up to the plate with a couple logs on the pond and hit a shot that made Stryker quiver. Luckily Craig! was playing on the roof of the high school and made the catch to end the game. It was a beautiful day for Clemerica and a much needed win. I’m sure the Loggers will hate me after this, but I’m not adding in their highlights.

I have to? Fine- here’s their side of the story.

“The Loggers were determined to add to the Win column for Al’s birthday. Paterak was on the hill filling in for Tony B (rumor has it he was runner up in a cheesesteak-eating contest). After going down early, the Loggers kept it close thanks to 3 double plays by the Killer P’s. Brains, Saris and the rest of offense got the Loggers back in the game, but couldn’t put together that big inning off Stryker’s statuesque motion.”

See that? Even Loggers can’t resist mentioning the mighty Stryker (and his “motion”).

I couldn’t have been the game MVP with out my team. Battleship!!!! You may now vomit.

Also, I finally booked the tickets for the cruise me, Shafer, JL and Jake are going on at the end of the season. I am realllly looking forward to it. I got a great deal but I still don’t know why they are only letting men on this one. Must be filled with danger, mystery and intrigue. Lets all meet up and go shopping for cruisewear!!!

( Clemerica: ? / Loggers: ? )

Field #2: Gibson vs. Turkey’s Teachers (Stache)

Times are tough over at Bedford and N 11th. The Gibson has put together some really nice efforts this season against perennial contenders Brooklyn Bowl, Black Betty and Pete’s. Unfortunately, they have not been able to bring that same intensity to field against struggling opponents like the Loggers, Clemerica and (now) the Teachers.

A very relieved TNT manger, Haz, exclaimed “WE DIDN’T LOSE!” Apparently he had his squad doing lots of homework this week in anticipation of their battle with the Gibbys. New kid Kathleen Connelly provided some offensive spark, while Joe Seideland Kristen “Wolfy” Wulff locked down the defense. Star pupils, Efran and Tristan both homered in the contest, as well. Despite the victory, Mike “ANGRY MAN” Sill remained angry after pitching a gem. Perhaps he just needs a hug?

As for the Gibson, they could not hold on to an early lead in this one and move to 0-10 on the year. Gibson SS, Ado, was one of the lone bright spots for the Gibs, ripping 5 hits and playing some stellar defense. Dave Boston returned to the lineup with a 6 RBI effort to pace the offense. Gibby manager, Adrian Franco, has to be at wit’s end trying to figure out a way to scratch out a win.

The Teachers move into a tie for 3rd place in the Fashion South division with the victory, while the Gibson fell further back in the Godsy South race. Both squads square off against 1st place teams next week, so the road to respectability won’t get any smoother.

( Gibson: 9 / Teachers: 15 )

1pm

Field #1: Black Betty vs. Reel 2 Reel(Shortz)

Fantasy come true

For the first time since game 1 of the 2007 WSL Championships, Reel2Reel conquered Black Betty!!!!!

NO, I’M NOT LYING!

And it definitely wasn’t easy. Every time we’d get a couple of runs, they’d get a couple more. Every time we took and extra base, they’d take 3. We’d make and out, they’d pull an octuple-play…You see where I’m going with this…

With their last ups and RF killers Jake Levine and JB$ approaching the batters box, it looked like our lead would vanish. Who am I kidding- Jaime was all over it and snagged both hits as if she attached a Dirt Devil to her glove. But she didn’t- she’s just VERY good.

As Jake called “that’s the game”, the Betties retreated to their dug out more perplexed than the US Men’s Soccer Team in the 94th minute vs. Portugal. Amirite?

Black Betty has had a bumpy ride through the “Group of Death” thus far, and has little time to lick their wounds before facing RBar next Sunday.

( Black Betty: 17 / Reel 2 Reel: 18 )

Field #2: Good Company vs. Spike Hill (WSL SUPER FAN)

Storied franchise Good Company (fka Enid’s) met up-and-coming squad Spike Hill this Sunday, and the kids from Spike Hill were unable to overcome the Grey Fox and his squad of hunky former college baseball players, like Dom and Tommy and Drew, who was sick at Short – making diving play after play and also vomiting. Seriously, how did “sick” become an adjective for good? Thank you, Michael Jackson. From the sounds of the stats, only Good Company showed up for this game.

Spike Hill Overlord O’Malley (alliteration!) was quoted as saying “They hit, we didn’t.” He also added “The Grey Fox is one good looking son of a bitch – I just wish he would smile more often. Not a happy guy.” Spike Hill threatened in the 7th, but Good Company was having none of it, answering their 4 runs with 4 runs of their own, sealing the deal with an errant “white flag” throw from the outfield over the backstop.

The proper order of the universe has been restored – Good Company is back on top in their division and Spike Hill is left wondering what the hell happened. I am too, since they didn’t really send a write up. Watch out for the Pinks!

( Good Company: 18 / Spike Hill: 10 )

Field #1: Soft Spot vs. Crown Victoria 86-ers (Shortz)

Crown Vic is looking to pull their weight in the “Group of Death” by knocking down the powerful Yetis.

With the 86er offense usually being their kryptonite, they suddenly became a hitting machine. Gold stars go to Mike Mara(5-5 with an RBI & a couple run scored),Sgt. Andre(a triple & 2 RBI’s),“Other Super Dave” Osbourne (3-4 with 2 RBIs & a butt load of runs scored), and Mayor Buttah(3-4 with an RBI).

As for the Yetis, I have no idea, as I once more receive NOTHING! How are the softball masses supposed to know if Aaron went 4 for 4 (he did) or if Baby Boy turned a sick double play (he did) or if Jason had a catch in right field running from SS (he did).

Zak, you made me do this.

( Soft Spot: 9 / Crown Victoria: 12 )

Field #2: Pete’s Candy Store vs. RBar (Stryker)

I am happy to report that my PI got back to me and my mom was not at this game “supporting”Sam and they only saw each other once this week and there was no banana bread involved.

“One bad inning, that’s the difference in games between fairly matched teams.”-Sam

Oh Sam, you wise old candy man. This was a real back and forth, Bum stealing candy from baby, baby stealing candy from Bum battle. Matt Abbott was back on the mound for the first time in a long time for Pete’s. It was good to see him back out there. I heard he has an amazing personality. RBar got the first strike, scoring 3 in the first led by an RBI single from Bobby. Pete’s came back and took the lead with a 3 run shot from Megan.

The candy shoppers would get a lesson in hustle runs from their fearless leader and they were quick to follow suit, most notably by Max and Mike, as Pete’s would go up 8-5 in the 4th. The Bums would come back and tie the game with a solo shot from Sam and a two run shot from DLo, who went 3 for 4 on the day with 3 RBI’s. The Rbar would take the lead for good in the 6th, scoring another 6 runs, including a 2 run double by Sam. The Bums proved to have a bigger sweet tooth than Pete’s in this one.

“The Rbar defense held Pete’s to 12 runs over the last 5 innings. Rbar won 16 to 10.”-Rich

I would also like to mention that Sam umped a beautiful game earlier in the day. His form was perfect, his voice was velvety, and he just looked so damned good out there! I want him to Ump my first child’s birth.

( Pete’s: 10 / RBar: 16 )

5pm

Field #1: Turkey’s Nest vs. 3 Kings (Stache)

I WANT MY COACH!

There is nothing more anticlimactic than receiving play by play text updates from 1,600 miles away. Sadly, I was/am in Houston, TX this week and had to miss this slugfest. I left the 3 Kings team in the capable hands of longtime teammate Nick Tomeo and it sounds like he had an adventure on his hands. Despite both teams missing some key pieces (congrats on the nuptials Mr. & Mrs. Kornhauser), this game certainly didn’t disappoint.

There seemed to be a theme for this one. The Turkeys would jump out to a lead and the Kings would almost match it. Without a whole lot of info from the Nest side, I did hear that both JL and Jake went deep in the game, while Trish and Holly also contributed with some timely hitting.

On the other side, the Kings struggled to find the right defensive alignment all game. Finally, it started to click in the late innings and they were able to begin to mount a comeback from the 16-11 deficit. 3Ks plated 3 runs in the 8th, while stranding the bases loaded with the middle of the order up, to pull within 2. The Nest got a sac fly, after a JL triple in the top of the 9th to tack on an insurance run. Tommy Santoro led off the top of the 9th with a double, after assaulting a trash can earlier in the game. Followed by a Vinny Rossi walk, the Kings popped up 3 of their next 4 batters and managed to score only 1 lonely run. Again, an anticlimactic ending to a hard fought battle on both sides.

( Turkey’s Nest: 17 / 3 Kings: 15 )

Field #2: Brooklyn Bowl vs. AT United (WSL SUPER FAN)

Going in, we knew that Brooklyn Bowl versus AT was a contrast of styles. AT can hit (and drink) for miles when they get going and Bowl has a constricting type of defense. They squeeze the other team so tight in the field, that eventually they stop struggling and are almost ok with getting swallowed whole.

Bowl started off strong with 3 runs in the first, but then it was almost like they lost their mojo, or metaphorically speaking their one of these:

Just think about it. Bowl proceeded to toss away their Henderson Equine Castrating Tool of a defense, committing at least 10 errors in the field and failed to keep pace against a motivated AT. Lauck deserves special note for being a “two tool” player, which in this case only means that he hit well and made nice plays in the field. Why, what were you thinking?

Tied at 7 in the 7th, AT loaded the bases with two outs and a “close call” in the field helped them plate 5 more runs to put the game away – because 7 + 5 = 12. And because I’m actually good at math, I can tell you that 12 > 9, which Brooklyn Bowl seems to score every game. That’s a little crazy, but AT’s not crazy anymore, because no free beers. If I had a beer, I would pour it out for my generous but dead homie, the Drunk Tank, but I can’t afford one. So who’s buying?