Monday, January 28, 2008

Four-year-olds can communicate somewhat complex ideas, but their minds are still alien; their language hasn't quite settled down into adult patterns; and they're flying by the seat of their pants socially. I'd love to see a site devoted simply to the interesting things they say!

Those interesting things are so easy to forget. Our memories tend to reshape and adultify in retelling; we can't hang on to the weirdness. I wish Pauline and I had done a better job capturing Davy's interesting remarks as a four-year-old; but we do have a few (what we think of as) gems. I hope readers will contribute their own in the comments if they have any!

In a restaurant: "It smells like a rainbow of things to eat" (4 yrs, 0 months).

"Mommy, you're evil, so I taked away your shoe" (4 yrs, 0 months).

Davy's great grandmother died. We took him to see the body. He wanted to touch it to see "if she's still squishy but doesn't move" (4-0).

"I wasn't being bossy. I was being right" (4-1).

At bathtime: "I hate to hide from you, but it's just a special occasion" (4-1).

"Is it today or tonight?" (4-2).

Of a new toy truck: "It springed my heart with love, I like it so much" (4-2).

Arguing about who has the better mommy:Mary Travis: My mommy can help anyone!Davy: My mommy can help anyone!Mary Travis: My mommy can talk to anyone!Davy: My mommy can talk to anyone!Evidently this is what mommies do: help and talk (4-4).

Daddy: Are you fine?Davy: I'm so fine I could burst a porcupine! (4-4)

Davy: Jesus didn't have a crib.Daddy: What? Oh, right. "No crib for a bed."Davy: I don't have a crib.Daddy: So you're Jesus.Davy: Yes. No! (4-4)

"Maybe they call it 'Christmas' because you MISS it and... and... and it's Chris" (4-5).

"My race car is fun-fastic!" (4-5).

To Mommy: "I said 'Wonka Nerds' because my brain took a peek at it before I did. My brain is very smart because it looks at things before I do and it discovers things before I do and that's why I'm smarter than you" (4-6).

Davy punches Mommy.Mommy: Don't do that. That hurt!Davy: Did it sting?Mommy: I'm not saying.Davy: Did it sting?Mommy: I'm not telling you so you can enjoy it.Davy: I enjoy punching people.Mommy: Well I hope no one punches you and enjoys it.Davy: I like to be punched. I didn't like it when I was a baby but I absent-mindedly got used to it (4-6).

Davy: I don't need a diaper. I just insulated myself for sleep.Mommy: Insulated yourself?Davy pulls up his shirt to reveal wads of toilet paper stuffed into his pants (4-7).

"All my ideas live here [points to tummy]. Then they come up to my brain and I think them" (4-8).

Davy: Maybe this is a dream.Daddy: This, right now?Davy: Well, maybe. If this hurts. [He pulls on Daddy's earlobes.] (4-11)

Davy: Mom, what's smaller than the smallest thing in the whole world?Mommy: What? No, there can't be anything smaller than the smallest thing in the whole world.Davy: No, I don't know what it is, but it's the smallest thing in the whole galaxy! (4-11)

Joe: Becky, you have to learn not to interrupt when I am in the middle of a conversation.Becky: But you can just get two mouths. If you got two mouths, you could talk to me too.

Me: No, uncle Soren and aunt Christine don't know whether their baby will be a boy or a girl.Becky: How did you know I was a girl before you had me?Me: We got an ultra-sound -- a picture of the tummy.Becky: Maybe we can take a picture of Christine's tummy. Then we will know.

Becky: Sometimes adults don't do the right things. But I always do the right things, right?

Me: Please don't eat the berries off the tree.Becky: Why not?Me: Because they could be poisonous.Becky: But it's o.k. to eat berries when they grow in stores or at home, right?

My, then 4-year old, son asked me why I missed his Christmas play and was away from home so often. Of course, my reply to him was that I had to "work hard for our family to earn money for the things we have."

He instantly gave the reply, "I'd rather have my Daddy than money." Those words, given two years ago, changed my life and perspective on the value of money(I started my own business and haven't missed a Christmas play or any other significant event in his life since that day).

One day I told my daughter Mila, then 2 year old, about some happenings when her brother was young. And she asked, “was I very small then?”. I told her that she was not, that she wasn’t born.

Two days after that together with my wife and my kids we went in another city, done some shopping, few coffee stops, got some pizza, and before return, we went to see some friends. My daughter slept through our visit to friends.

Today I was asking her where were we, and at the end told her that we were also at my friends place, and that she was sleeping.

She said “I wasn’t born then”, looking at me, waiting for confirmation.

I berate myself regularly for failing to write down the funny, clever, and philosophical things my sons (now 6 and 3) say (and for failing to videotape them more). I think someone needs to start a blog or something that would help us remember to do it (and share with each other). I love the examples here.

Just a couple of mine:Lucas at 5: "Sam was born to make messes, mommy and daddy were born to be teachers, and I was born to help people."

Lucas at 5: “Daddy, I hope we die at the same time so I don’t have to live without you.”

One of my friends' 6 year-olds: Teacher after walking over to a distracted Luke: "Why don't we try to get through your writing assignment?"Luke (annoyed and rolls eyes): "Don't you have some work of your own to do??"

By the way, doing analogies with your 5-6+ year old can be quite interesting and fun.

It's funny reading these philosophers talk about how we acquire this and that knowledge about the world, who obviously haven't spent any time with young children who are actually acquiring knowledge and learning about the world.

About Me

Eric Schwitzgebel
Professor of Philosophy at University of California at Riverside. Visit my homepage (link below) to view most of my philosophical and psychological essays. Email me if you like at eschwitz at domain- ucr.edu