The Surefire Signs You're Not Ready to Be a Mom

Most of your friends have children, and you love them—honestly—but after two hours with the adorable little tykes, you're excited to return home, where there's no threat of plastic toys being launched at your wine glass and you can watch Scandal without worrying about a baby toddling in during a sex scene. Perhaps one day you'll grow out of this "phase," but for now, these are the signs you're just not there yet.

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When you see a baby at your local watering hole, you think maybe you can do this...

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...but then you can barely make it through your friend's story about potty-training

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When someone asks if you can hold their baby, just for a second...

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...and when you finally oblige, the thing dribbles on you.

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When your friend asks if he can bring his 3-year-old to your dinner party...

Because it's true what they say: Being a mom is really hard work, and though you don't think you're ready, you're in awe of all the parents you know and believe they deserve a big round of applause... or a break.

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Brie Schwartz is newly married to an accepting husband who encourages her to—or at least lets her—write about his quirky traits. They share a studio apartment in New York City, which has taught her invaluable lessons about patience and communication. Though they don't have children yet, they do watch a lot of baby videos on YouTube.