[November 17, 2018]
The latest topic du jour at the world
dilemma think tank is Dud Campbell’s trapline. It should be noted
that no animals were harmed in the production. In fact, the
“victims” of Dud’s trapline probably gained a pound or two during
the ordeal.

It all began not long ago now when Mrs. Miller
complained about having a raccoon come around at night and eating
the cat food she’d left on the back porch for Sissy. After about
five cups of coffee down at the Mule Barn, the elders there, aka the
Supreme Court of Dang Near Everything, decided the ‘coon had to go,
but nobody wanted to kill the thing just for wanting to eat cat
food. So Dud said he’d take care of it.

About two weeks later, Dud invited the guys out to the parking lot
to see what was in his pickup, and there was a ‘coon, hissing at the
world through the steel mesh of a live trap.

“What did you use? Where did you put it? How long did it take to
catch him? Are there more ‘coons in town? Where will you release
him?”

And one by one the questions were answered. Oh, as the weeks went
by, Dud had figured out the perfect bait to entice them into the
trap. Oh yes, a delectable combination of peanut butter,
marshmallows and sardines.

And it worked. Soon, Dud had two
of these traps working, so that he could refer to it as the trapline
and not just “the trap.” Sounded better. Before long, the score was
quite impressive. Three ‘coons, one bobcat, a raven, one cocker
spaniel, Sissy (who was released on her own recognizance into Mrs.
Miller’s custody and was immediately placed under house arrest.),
and a skunk.