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Review – Wicked Pictures’ Snow White XXX (2014)

Wicked Pictures’ Snow White XXX – an Axel Braun Parody (2014) was good… I mean, it was fine… as in, there was nothing really bad about it… and it looked… nice. And the sex parts were… ok. But in the end, I felt kinda like Snow – a little blurry-eyed after just waking up.

I really wanted to like this film, which is the first in what appears to be a fairytale series from Wicked and their newest feature director, Axel Braun. And even though all the elements were there – a sexy fairytale that’s oh-so-easy to get dirty (hell, it’s dirty on its own!), an excellent cast, a great director/studio collaboration, and high production value – the whole thing was just kinda plastic and trite.

Here’s the synopsis:

Betrayal. Desire. Malevolence. And, of course…steamy sex! Legendary director Axel Braun and adult powerhouse Wicked Pictures proudly introduce a brand new genre in the X-rated Parody market: erotic fairy tales. Featuring an all-star cast headlined by Riley Steele in the titular role and jessica drake as the Evil Queen, “Snow White XXX: An Axel Braun Parody” is a sexy, dramatic take on the Brothers Grimm’s dark story that will change the way you remember fairy tales forever.

…aaand that’s what happened, though maybe with a few less adjectives.

(pictured: Snow White and Prince Ryan Driller)

Barrett Blade plays The Huntsman, who protects sweet and innocent Snow White (Riley Steele) from her Evil Queen/stepmother (jessica drake). But eventually, Mamma Queen gets her way and poisons Snow, who then sleeeeps… Until Prince Ryan Driller, who looks far too perfectly princely with his eyebrows and chiseled jaw and whatnot, stumbles upon her and saves her and they have sex and get married and everyone lives happily ever after… or do they?

Things I liked about Snow White XXX:

– the part where the Queen bites into the raw bloody heart and knows instantly – by taste?! – that it’s not Snow’s

– the way the seven dwarves were presented – as lovely friendly whispers. The fact that this was NOT some dwarf s/exploitation film made me happy

– Eric Masterson as the Magic Mirror looking hott

– the “modern” touches – hamburgers and iPads and whatnot

– the scary as shit Queen disguised as a farmer’s wife, you know, the one with the poisoned apple…

(pictured: jessica drake as the Evil Queen/stepmother, plus iPad)

But in spite of all this good, the project really fell flat for me. Maybe because the source material was *so* easy, the production elements *so* perfect, no one thought they had to try..?

Though this film was just fine, I couldn’t tell you who it was for. As in, I’m not sure who or what will find it compelling. To me, it felt like watching one of those Captain America movies – everything was there, it just didn’t work. So I guess, given that, maybe Snow White XXX is for everyone.