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Snickers the Possum no longer works for this company, but we found a replacement

Snickers the Possum.

Editor’s Note: Snickers the Possum was one of the worst football analysts we have ever seen. What were we thinking? A possum that speaks who tries to use his powers to analyze football games? He was just AWFUL. All four game predictions incorrect, just horrible puns and jokes about being a possum….he just could not have been more annoying and irritating. Not to mention the days he would come into the office and lie on the floor for hours at a time, pretending to be dead….WE KNOW YOU’RE ALIVE SNICKERS, STOP KIDDING YOURSELF.

Now we’re not saying Snickers the Possum will never come back, he very well may come back at a later date, but right now we think it’s time to make a change. So without further delay, we’d like to introduce our newest football analyst….

HEY GANG! IT’S ME! Chris Wheeler! The Wheelman is BACK baby, and I’m doing what I do best, predicting football games! Lets put up some crooked numbers tomorrow, right gang?

Look out! Woah, hope everyone’s ok down there.

Tough matchup for the Eagles this week, Drew Brees is a guy that really has the Phillies number. He is sneaky good, SNEAKY good, and he is always lathered up and ready to come in.

But let me tell you, in the Eagles stadium NO lead is too big, so the Birds really have to bring it. Chip Kelly will be the first to tell you that they need to put up more points than their opponent if they want any chance to win.

He just went down there and got it. He back legged that one!

I have some time on my hands now that I no longer do play-by-play for the Phillies, gang. I’d like to see Tom McCarthy take this job away from me, that bald headed piece of shit. Baseball was my LIFE, it was my LIFE and when I finally had the reigns the ingrate fans didn’t care for my home spun yarns and Wheelerisms. But I’m back now, I’m at the top of my game with the Coggin and I’ll be here for a long time!

Eagles are going to lose again this week, I hate to break it to everyone. NO high hopes for them. It’s a goofy game sometimes.