Recognizing that we don’t own our feelings can be intensely liberating. Feelings come from somewhere. They are a reaction to something, but they are not our property. My usual reaction to the world’s problems is sadness or melancholy. The sadness is real, but it is not mine. Focusing on sadness is just a habit I’ve picked up. Nothing bad will happen to me or anyone else if I put it down for a while. Continue reading →

When painful things come to you, look deeper. They may be blessings in disguise. When my friend Nora was 24, she married Fredrik, her tall, good-looking high school sweetheart. She supported him through medical school and residency in San Francisco, … Continue reading →

Five things to say to a loved one who is dying, according to Hospice nurses : I love you. Thank you. I forgive you. Please forgive me. Goodbye. All except the last one you can start telling them now. I would also like to hear: You've done enough. You can rest.