Will Donkey Be Crowdsourcing Her Next Bowel Movement?

Switching Over to Natural———————————One of my New Years resolutions was to finish the switch of everything in my cabinets – from cleaning supplies to shampoo to face cream – to natural, organic, eco-friendly, healthful products. I’ve been transitioning for the past few years, using Tom’s of Maine (non fluoride) toothpaste and Soapwalla deodorant cream (it totally works, btw) as well as coconut oil instead of lotion, and apple cider vinegar instead of toner.

Do you have recommendations for other amazing natural products? Specifically:

Or any other tips, tricks etc? How have you made the switch? I didn’t realize HOW MANY PRODUCTS I had until I started the process of changing them over … whew. We really are a consumer culture, even in the little ways, and we vote with our dollars.

Maybe it sounds cheesy, but I want to vote for a healthier world.

She saved the shout outs for the comments and left us shivering with anticipation:

Oh! Hi! Do you listen to podcasts? (of course you do, right?)What are your favorites? Please don’t say Serial. Other than Serial. Anything but Serial. What do you like about them? What do you hate about them? (Yes, I’m starting a podcast sometime this year. It’s about time!)

Can you imagine the guests? After she guilt trips D&B into doing the OMG! premiere, we’ll be subjected to the likes of Ali Shanti and Smellsberg for the remaining, what, two or three shows before the podcast goes the way of the coffee mug fauxtos and the missing Davos report.

I will probably listen to at least one, since I spend a lot of time to and fro-ing from my desk errands in my car listening to podcasts. I can report back on the highlights in order to spare ears.

I love the “It’s about time.” as if her legion of fans have been desperately waiting and begging her to please, please podcast. Thank goodness our long national nightmare has ended. I think once she does one and realizes that she does not have a single sponsor and makes no money she will go back to sorting photos in her brown home.

I love the Watch What Crappens podcast because they are really, really funny but those guys have just recently started making a little money from it using Patreon. I know some of us will listen but who, besides her Dad, would contribute to her?

D0nk says she’s been implementing / transitioning for “years” but she only has replaced four items, & it’s what a person feasibly goes through fastest — so why doesn’t she just say she’s only been transitioning for a month or two?

Can someone point me to where I can follow InSwain’s progress through the court system? He’s been MIA for 8 hours and, while I know several people here hate his saga, I’m addicted. I think Brayella posted some Boulder court link, but I can’t find anything.

Had to look up “status conference” – for anyone else – status conference
n. a pre-trial meeting of attorneys before a judge required under Federal Rules of Procedure and in many states to inform the court as to how the case is proceeding, what discovery has been conducted (depositions, interrogatories, production of documents), any settlement negotiations, probable length of trial, and other matters relevant to moving the case toward trial. Court rules usually require the filing of a status conference statement prior to the conference. In Federal courts the status conference is also the occasion for setting a trial date.

Disclaimer: I am not familiar with CO law or any way in which it may diverge from most states’ laws. That said, he was read his charging statement about a week ago. In most states, the period between charging and the status conf. is when the lawyers discuss possible settlement / dropping charges / etc. Then they draft up a pre-trial statement containing whatever information the local court rules demand. So in a couple of weeks it will either be charges dropped for whatever (likely confidential) reasons or full guns blazing toward trial, with set periods of time for discovery, etc.

He had 3 charges originally I noticed. But it seems they dropped one. (Looking at the public access site I assume you are too) Looks like just stalking charge and assault charge now. Someone got a TRO last week against him I’m assuming it was the Mrs. and the kittens because it was linked to a different court case which isn’t public for good reason I’m sure. Can’t imagine what is going through their poor heads. Drugs are bad mmmkay!

@WP: stalking is also a felony chg (F5 in this case, which is lowest chg for 1st offense, as I understand it).

I’d read somewhere that DWI/DUI & DV are the most common chgs in Boulder Cty, & something is mandated in BC’s DV cases (counseling, maybe? I forget), so there very well may be court dockets dedicated to those alone.

OT: Seems like our cty was going to implement such a thing for DWI’s, but I don’t know if it ever came to fruition. Did you get flooded out yesterday?

No need to re-invent the snark wheel when we already talk about him here in the context of Donkey’s chosen family of the week. When she gets a new set of sisters, I’m sure Swainiac will drop off the radar and be replaced by someone even worse.

And another thing….. Julie, who’s not that interested in Europe, or anyplace else besides Burning Man, should wake the fuck up & look around at people who don’t have access to fluoridated water… I’ve seen places full of people with blue teeth & rotting gums. It’s horrid. And statistically, fluoridated water has been a huge success. #science.

Chriiiiiiiiist. I use some more natural products due to skin sensitivities and other issues. I researched them on the internet. It was so super challenging, you guys. Like, 20 minutes on Google, without even stopping once to pat myself on the back via Facebook for being so “mindful” and “healthy” (so cheesy! Tee hee!). Vom.

Like everything else, she is crowdsourcing for free giveaways. She says “Does anyone know of a great ? Then she waits and prays to the consumer god Martos that someone will say “Hey Julia, I make/sell/produce ! Let me send you a sample so you can give me a great review on your facebook blogthing!” Then, if and she likes said product, she says something about it and begins working on a photoshoot to promote said product/service.

Also, she is the last person who should replace her deodorant with an organic alternative, since she has a reputation for being … odorous, in the extreme. Even Walgreen’s finest aluminium-impregnated cancer-causing corporate chemical concoction totally DOESN’T work when it comes to Donkey effluvia.

Yes. I can’t speak for now, but when she was in NYC, she was fragrant. The sad things is, the person I got it from knew Donkey very well and was using it as an example of how much stress Donkey was under, not picking on her. The pelt funk was a thing to be feared.

Maybe the only time I have ever felt bad for a Donkey was when I heard a cringe-inducing story about how some of her “guy friends” acted behind her back on elevators because of the smell. Even if she stank like a hot dumpster, that’s some 7th grade shenanigans.

Her rebel yell to “Put Proctor & Gamble out of business!!!” really pissed me off. I know P & G is far from a perfect company but it employs over 100,000 individuals. I lived in Cincinatti for several years and the demise of P & G would greatly affect that area.
But, who really gives a fuck about that while Donkey’s in her dirty hippie phase for the next hot minute?

There was a comedian who opened for Ricky Gervais here in Chicago a few years ago. I can’t recall his name, but he did 5 hilarious minutes about Tom’s deodorant. It didn’t work for him so he looked on line and found pages and pages of Tom’s Deodorant failure forums. Tears, I was laughing so hard.

You know, if she really cares about her health and toxicity she should go live in the wilderness. Air pollution is a much greater health risk than your deodorant, dear heart.

TJs all natural deodorant is really good. However, the next day, if you don’t shower (say on a Sat or Sunday and you want to laze around with your Mancat and just have coffee and read the paper) YOU WILL STINK!!!! Or if you want to go to the gym in the morning before showering, you will smell a lil ripe.

The day I tried Toms of Maine deodorant I avoided everyone like the plague and kept my arms glued to my sides. It failed miserably in the St Louis heat. I felt like I was back in middle school when you realize you forgot to put on your deodorant after gym class. Stink for days with that shit. I’ll take my chances with the aluminum. Platinum protection all the way!!!

Arrrggghhh! What is wrong with “healthy”? When did people start using “healthful”? I’ve seen others use it on social media but wonder if they actually use it in conversation. If someone tried that with me, I’d slap the shit out of them.

OT – Leathery Grifter Update: Someone mentioned that Ali had posted a recommendation for Instacart, a grocery delivery service. In the post, she said she’d been “…using Instacart…it’s the best…And it’s free…” She then posted an affiliate link, whereby she gets $5 for every signup (must be desperate for money, is what I thought).

Then the fun started in the comments…

TL; DR — Ali shills for $5, lies about being a regular customer and about the costs involved. Gets called out. Does not remove post, because $5.

Ali Shanti
12 April at 18:56 · Boulder, CO, United States ·
Do you shop at Costco and Whole Foods and would rather someone else do your shopping for you? I’ve been using Instacart (thanks Nanci!) and it’s the best. I shop from home, they deliver. And it’s free. Use this link and you’ll get $10 of free groceries + free delivery and I’ll get $5. (affiliate link)

Susan Coates I was totally drawn in, being that I spend so much of my “free time” grocery shopping. However, I’m not getting that “it’s free”, as you say. Looks like the first order is free, but not subsequent orders. The website is interestingly cryptic about any charges at all on orders, but there seems to be some stuff written about a lot of hidden charges. What’s your experience with that? Has something changed with them and they’re now free?

Ali Shanti I haven’t gotten charged yet though I do tip. I am on my second order now so I’ll let you know. Nanci Tarutz Alpert do you know?

Nanci Tarutz Alpert Orders over $35: Two hour or scheduled deliveries start at $3.99. Within an Hour deliveries start at $5.99. Orders under $35: Two hour or scheduled deliveries start at $7.99. Within an Hour deliveries start at $9.99. Instacart Express Members: Two hour or scheduled deliveries for orders over $35 are free. All other delivery fees apply.

Ali Shanti Lol re NanciCart. Nanci Tarutz Alpert how did I get a second delivery free?

Mia Cara I haven’t tried it yet because I genuinely get so much pleasure from doing my own shopping, but I’ve heard that the first order is free, kind of like giving you a test of the product. . Many clients have called it Instacrack because it’s so awesome, but I do believe above the delivery fee the prices listed are inflated as well and that your overall over may be 10-15% what you might pay in the store…

Ali Shanti Just asked the delivery guy and he said the prices are a bit higher. That’s not super awesome.

Max Nachamkin Prices are much higher with Instacart. $75 grocery bill turns into about $100-110. They won’t give you any the store discounts or special deals, plus they add 10% or something like that. Pretty awesome service though if you hate going the store…They’re very fast.

I use a delivery service like this for Costco here because I can get so many of the foreign ingredients I use for so much cheaper/at all, but imagine a combination of Black Friday and Lord of the Flies and you’ll be getting somewhere near what a trip to Costco here is like. Sometimes you have to sit in a line of cars around the block for half an hour just to get a parking spot. So, yes, well worth the extra money.

I walk my ass to the store for our regular groceries though.

It should be obvious that the service is not free. How are they supposed to pay for their trucks/workers? She’s an idiot.

She was either lying when she wrote she had been using their service regularly (because then she would have known it wasn’t free), or she was lying when she wrote it was free (because she knew it wasn’t).

Either way, this is a wonderful example of Ali’s interpretation of “integrity”. ie lying.

Not sure why I care if she doesn’t, but if she’s slathering herself in cooking oil and continuing to transformationally fry her blighted potato body in the desert, she’s going to have bigger problems than consumer culture. Zinc oxide is “natural”, burra.

Also, I think she’s on this train because her spackling rituals no longer suffice to make her feel like the prettiest princess in all the seven kingdoms. So, obviously, ALL THE GIRLS are shallow for using standard products in basic personal care and hygiene. Aging’s a bitch when you’re incapable of developing an interior life divorced from your exterior appearance.

We’ve already heard the last of a d0nkey cudcast right when we heard the first of it. Still waiting for that EXPERIMENTS IN HAPPINESS YOUTUBE CHANNEL she promised in 2013 — the same people she’d never get for those interviews are who she still couldn’t get for her stalk braydio interviews.