At least I still have the hat

When I moved to Sydney 10 years ago, tonight was pretty close to what I expected it to be like. Having bought myself a very stylish top from a very good local designer earlier today, met up with one of my regular crews and went to a rooftop party in a building up on top of the hill in North Bondi, with a spectacular view of the city, harbour bridge and North Sydney. Live band and DJs, party full of beautiful and interesting people. Most of them rather friendly.

(To this I attribute two factors:
1. It was a hat theme party, so everyone had to wear hats. My friends got me a very silly rajah/Aladdin-style hat which was a great coversation starter, and
2. Esctasy. Lots of it. In everyone else but me.)

Moving on from the party, saw a friend's band play in a beautiful high-ceilinged, art deco bar. Great looking venue, really good band. The crew went off clubbing but I was tired and went home.

(To this I attribute two factors:
1. Was annoyed at myself for leaving the party, where I had been doing rather well, and
2. Esctasy. In everyone else but me.)

But a lot of things I expected 10 years ago didn't happen. I never expected to be single by now. Couldn't have predicted my career would turn out this way. Didn't think I'd have all this emotional baggage to deal with. And would have hoped I'd have the confidence to stay at a party and talk to new people even if my friends went somewhere else (peeved about that).

Wait a second, this warrants more than a three-word parenthetical aside. I was at a party meeting interesting new people and I didn't stay because my friends were leaving and I thought I might end up sitting in a corner not talking to anyone. Even after one of the women hosting the party, an attractive photographer who I had just met a minute before, was twisting my arm to stay and have another drink. WHY?! It's infuriating.