Forget Just Growing Armpit Hair, Women Are Now Dying It Different Colors Because Feminism

I’ve seen my fair share of repugnant stuff on the internet. I’m an inquisitive guy with microscopic impulse control. I’ve turned a few links purple that I immediately regretted. It’s life, and my mind has only become more tarnished because of it. Of all of those links I’ve clicked, very few have made any sort of impact on my life. Today, I added a new link to the list, one that flew to the top of my “Never Again” list.

The New York Times made a very disturbing announcement today: Women are now dying their armpit hair. We’ve already crossed a very dangerous line by allowing this crap to gain traction. Whatever, I guess. Everything is accepted in this country, or some shit. Now they’re just getting crazy.

I struggled with the idea that women’s bodies even grow armpit hair. Maybe it was the porn, maybe it was the fact that I only associated with women who realized that there is a nice neutral ground in which they can respect themselves without letting the weeds grow from their crevices. Either way, this shit freaked me the fuck out.

And now they’ve chosen to take it a step further. Repulsing men across the country wasn’t enough to satisfy their agenda. Now they’re moving on to bigger and better things, like dying their fucking pit bush.

I’m all for equality but they’re taking this shit way too far. Men and women are different creatures. We do different things. Go figure. I shave because I like the feelings of having soft skin. Not because men or society tell me I have to. I like it. Women need to just accept that we do things because it’s more feminine to do so. Because WE’RE FUCKING FEMALE.

Don’t you understand that gender is just an assigned identity made by evil old white Christian men to perpetuate their rule? People aren’t born male or female, that’s just what they want us to believe. But courageous people like Caitlyn Jenner show us that it is possible to be ourselves regardless of what body we’re trapped in.

I swear every issue feminists decide to battle these days has been invented by women. Crows feet, thigh gap, laugh lines, anti aging whatever, and all the other bullshit no man has any clue about that we’re apparently using to oppress them. If they could ignore all that crap, they would probably start making progress on real issues again, like the wage gap and my need for a sandwich.

If you went back, and told anybody from past generations in there time that this kind of shit would be happening, they would have laughed and said something along the lines of “Our country would never be that fucked up.”

Liberalism and feminism and progressivism are a disease. Case and point.