Are honest about your past and present sexual activity if the relationship is intimate

Know that most people in your life are happy about the relationship

Have more good times in the relationship than bad

Respect, Honesty, Trust & Communication

Respect
Learning about and valuing what is important to each other.

Honesty
Being candid about thoughts, feelings, and the desired direction of the relationship will allow both you and your partner the opportunity to simultaneously explore yourselves and the relationship.

Trust
Over time, trusting your partner will be necessary for a healthy relationship, but in the beginning trust is not automatic – it has to be earned. Always trust yourself to be who you are and to look out for your well-being. It is important to remember that trust is hard to earn but easy to destroy.

Communication
Communication is equal parts listening and speaking. When you and your partner are communicating, try to make them feel justified in their emotions. Repeat what is said as you understand it and ask if you understand the situation correctly. Don’t expect your partner to read your mind. Be as clear and direct as possible.

Unhealthy Relationships

Sometimes it’s not so easy to decide if a troublesome tie should be maintained the way it is, worked on, or ended before it goes any further. One thing to consider is if the relationship was ever different than it is now. Is there something stressful happening that could be impacting the way you interact? Maybe money is tight, you’ve moved, you are looking for work, are dealing with a difficult family circumstance, or are going through some other kind of transition. Or maybe there are problems from a while back that were never resolved, and are now resurfacing. What in particular is bothering you, and what would you like to see change? Talk over these questions with each other, or with someone you trust, like a friend, parent, or counselor. Think about what, if anything, you can each do to make the other feel more comfortable in the relationship.

Aspects of an unhealthy relationship

One or both partners:

Try to control or manipulate the other

Make the other feel bad about themselves

Ridicule or call names

Dictate how the other dresses

Do not make time for each other

Criticize the other’s friends

Are afraid of the other’s temper

Discourage the other from being close with anyone else

Ignore each other when one is speaking

Are overly possessive or get jealous about ordinary behavior

Criticize or support others in criticizing people by their gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, disability, or other personal attributes

Control the other’s money or resources (e.g., car)

Harm or threaten to harm children, family, pets, or objects of personal value

Push, grab, hit, punch, or throw objects

Use physical force or threats against the other

Blackmail the other from leaving the relationship

Relationship Violence

If a partner is harming you or your loved ones emotionally, physically, or sexually, consider seeking help. Relationship violence is a pattern of controlling and coercive behaviors that include physical, sexual and emotional abuse. Relationship violence affects people of all races, gender identities, sexual orientations, classes, ages and abilities.

There are a lot of resources available to help you. You deserve to feel safe, valued, and cared for. You have the right to leave any relationship where you feel unsafe or on edge. Perhaps the most important thing to do is to trust your instincts and the people close to you whose opinions you trust and value. Keep in mind that one of the strongest signs of a healthy relationship is that both people involved feel good about themselves. Also, by treating yourself with self-respect and believing in your right to be treated well, you are taking important steps towards developing equitable, mutually fulfilling ties in the future.