Different Strokes, Same Folks.

New York delivered, as can be expected. And by that I mean I found the word unicorn carved into the cement somewhere along 5th Ave. If you’re going to deface the public’s walking foundation of a great city, I suggest you choose a word like “unicorn” to do so. I don’t think it’s a misdemeanor if its intent is positivity–which explains the presence of so many spray-painted “God Loves Yous” and “Jesus Saves” under overpasses.

And if New York didn’t bring it with its mystical creature sidewalk vandalism, it surely did with its offering of cleverly titled shops. Case in Point:

It’s the lactation kingdom of the Upper West Side, its walls covered with an impressive display of pump parts and nursing bras that hang like expensive art in a gallery. I didn’t think I’d have any issues with missing a couple days of nursing Nella as it’s winding to a close anyway, and I wasn’t sure she was even getting anything (this milk/boob discussion’s getting slightly uncomfortable). Needless to say, I had to stop by this breast kept secret for some equipment, shall we say. I asked to get hooked up with the cheapest, easiest solution which turned out to be something that resembled a cross between a PVC pipe, a giant syringe and a victrola. If you’ve ever seen a breast pump (okay, I officially don’t love the word “breast”), you know exactly what I mean by victrola. And then try using it in a public bathroom stall. What did I learn from all this? Well, I learned never to admit you’re going to throw your rhymes-with-quest milk away when you’re standing in the middle of a shop dedicated to holy mother’s milk. You might as well just light a hundred dollar bill on fire. When you are asked what you plan to do with your “expressed milk” (still uncomfortable) and if you need a bottle/ice bags/insulated iron safe in which to keep it, just smile and say “yes” and “yes” and “of course.”

I was going to write this post with the whole angle of leaving my kids and what that was like and this dual life we have of mothering, nurturing, loving and yet fostering our own passions and dreams as well. How it kind of melds together, pushes and pulls and generally works out in the end.

I loved every minute of New York and yet my true statement of “I let go, I enjoyed me time, I knew the kids were just fine without me” can be contradicted by the same truth of “I missed them and thought about them all the time.” If that makes any sense.

For me though, the more interesting angle on this trip is the realization of just how alike we all are. Moms, not moms, New Yorkers, Midwesterners, Cab Drivers, what have you. My favorite thing about traveling a little more the last two years has been meeting people. People who live completely different lives, enjoy different pastimes, like different music, jobs, food, etc.

I’ve always had a tendency to be very conscious of what made me different in social settings. Not necessarily to be intimidated by it but at least to be aware that standing in the middle of a busy street, unfolding a giant NY map or hailing a cab the “wrong” way made me stand out. To be sitting at a table with beautiful, successful New York single women and have that moment of “I’m the crafty dork mom who keeps checking her phone for pictures of her kids.” The more I really spend time with people though–open myself up to different atmospheres, allow myself to relax and really listen to people, be moved by the rhythms of different cities and landscapes, backgrounds and life stories–the less I notice what makes us different. And the more I become aware of what makes us the same.

Alta, W. 10th St.

Surrounded by the colorful culture of New York City these past few days and weaving together the several encounters I had with different people, I’m inspired by the ever present truth of…we are all the same. Despite how many bright yellow taxis pepper our streets or what passions we pursue, how we dress, where we work, what we eat–we all want the same thing. To seek adventure, find comfort, connect with others. To relate, to feel good, to be recognized for our efforts. To be good at something. To love and be loved. To feel happy.

St. Thomas Church Fifth Avenue, Midtown ManhattanIt felt really good this week to explore the city, meet new people and reconnect with old friends. While the past 48 hours were efficiently filled with a lot of work (a couple meetings and some very last tie-up work for the book), my friend Meg saw to it we had some fun as well.

I did so well at being present and really enjoying the opportunity to be alone, sleep (for the first time in three years!), move from one location to another without taking a head check, buckling seat belts or making sure to grab a to-go snack; but I missed them, truly. You get to a certain point in motherhood where, no matter how much fun you’re having, you just subconsciously breathe your children. You can smell them even when you’re not purposely thinking about them. You can feel their arms around your neck, their breath on your shoulder. You hear them whisper good night even when, by the time you climb in bed, they’ve long been asleep several hundred miles away. Brett’s mom said yesterday Nella walked all day. Just took off for good and didn’t look back. Because she’s two now and Sister knows it.

I almost cried when we got home and realized Grandma was right. Walking is now Nella’s transportation mode of choice, and she’s good at it. Quick, smooth and agile.

Just another thing that makes us very much the same.

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Friday Photo Dump:

Friday Phone Dump photos are taken on the Instagram iPhone app (free) and dropped into a 12×12 collage using a photo editing software (Photoshop Elements works). I am @etst (enjoying the small things) on Instagram if you want to follow the feed.

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Comments

Welcome home. Only you could find a chunk of cement in NYC that says “Unicorn.” How amazingly fitting. And the boob story is a stitch. I’ve been there facing both the manual and the mechanical version of a pump and I do declare that I SO don’t miss that part of feeding.

Yay for a walking Nella!! I totally hear ya, with the smelling them when they aren’t there, it’s cray cray isn’t it?! Lol! Talking young makes feel young! Thankyou for including me in your NY trip, I have ALWAYS wanted to go there:)XO

You certainly didn’t miss a moment to soak up the locality! The breast story did make me laugh, although I shouldn’t laugh too soon. How amazing it must be to see Nella running around- imagine what fun she and Lainey will get up to now!

Beautiful trip! Alone time is rare, with a 2-year-old and a 4-month-old, I understand that 100%! But it’s always worth it to want to share experiences with the kids. I would love to see New York! My grandparents live a (albeit big) hop, skip, and a jump away in Baltimore, and every year I’ve wanted to detour through New York on the way home.

I now know that every time I nurse my 4-month-old this weekend, I’ll be reminded to have the “breast” weekend I can have.

That picture of Nella and the DD cup, cheeks all pooched out like a little chipmunk? Made me snort because I can’t laugh loudly for fear of waking my munchkin. I needed that after getting frustrated with a crochet bunny project.

Isn’t it fascinating that the things you are most self conscious about (being a dorky, crafty mum) is one of the things a lot of us envy about you. We strive to be more present and creative with our kids, yet you feel you need to be more than that again.

Oh…how I adore NYC! Was there last August for only 4 days & already craving to go back…planning & dreaming….if only it wasn’t a 24hr plane trip away I’d LOVE to go there this August for the BlogHer conference…..but living in Australia with 2 children {1 a newborn} and no big blog sponsor as of yet…..I doubt I’ll be there this year! But it’s nice to dream!!!And Kelle….I’m a dorky crafty Mum who talks way way too much about my babies…….it’s who we are these days & thats cool! But we can also have our space, have our work, have our dreams & have an ‘adult’ life outside of the full-time-Mum gig. As always, your blog rocks Kelle. Awesome post! x

Hi Kelle, glad you enjoyed your trip. I pre-ordered your book yesterday and thought other international readers might like to know that out of the four links in your sidebar BAM and Amazon ship overseas but only BAM takes PayPal.

Yes, that’s what I also notice and still is in awe over: we’re so much alike and we dream and want the same things!It’s fascinating and reassuring and comforting and interesting

Wonderful photos of the world’s capitol!Wonderful photos of Nella walking

How we miss the kids when were not with them?!! When it’s been about ten minutes after saying good bye in the morning, I miss my boy. Horribly. I kinda thought there was something wrong with me but, no, we’re the same all around the world.

Bahaha I’m cracking up at the breastfeeding convo. Yes, liquid gold … you cannot dispose of the liquid gold. I so thought you were going to say that you told them you had to throw it away and that they offered to take it off your hands for some sort of non-profit share-the-milk organization. That could have been awkward.

Do you know about the weaning blues? Especially for those of us who breastfeed for awhile, weaning TOTALLY knocks the socks off your hormones. Just wanted to warn you. I didn’t know and it was awful – I was so emotional for several weeks and couldn’t figure out why.

The end of this post cracked me up – so funny! Glad you had a great trip.

Looks like an amazing trip. And I agree it is comforting to realize that no matter how different we are on the outside fundamentally we all want the exact same things! So happy for Nella and her walking! Have a great weekend!!!

My husband and I took a day trip to NYC a couple of days after Christmas. They were getting ready for New Years, and we even saw the ball drop during a practice run. But it was crazy busy. I have never seen so many people in one place. My draw dropped when I saw your pic of the church, because I took the same picture, except mine had a thousand poeple in it. We couldn’t even really go in. We just walked in the one door and then squeezed our way out the other door.

Ok, so not to make you more uncomfortable, but I seriously need some help. My baby-toddler is 14 months and only nurses twice a day. I’m going to be gone for 3 days next month. Do I need to bring a pump? Can you equate this to your scenario and make a judgment call? Long time reader – love the blog, first time commenter. My first comment on your blog? On nursing. Perfectly apropos.

I can’t believe you found a piece of sidewalk marked Unicorn. It’s so cool and rather hilarious all in one. What are the odds? I mean, Unicorn? Seriously?

Glad your back, glad Nella girl is moving and shaking with the best of them, and so glad for this post! Can I just say, serious withdrawal? Geez, I was counting the minutes. Just kidding. Not really. You know what I mean.

Welcome home, darling! Looks like you had an amazing time…how exciting for you! YOUR BOOK YOUR BOOK YOUR BOOK!! Woooooohoooo! And to come home to Nella walking like a super hero? That’s gotta be cool. It’s funny how they always seem to grow up when you turn your head for a moment. Incidentally on “the girls” issue…I had to pump exclusively for my first and that’s when I used to return phone calls. Double-pump attached, I wasn’t going anywhere for a while so I used those 15 minutes wisely. You know how loud those things are…after a while you start singing songs to the sound of that motor chugging away at your nipp…I digress. I had a few people on the other end of the phone ask if I was in a dairy barn…I said close. I don’t think I smell as bad, but close. xo

Love your breast expereince. Haven’t we all been there at some point or another?! And yes, smile and nod, then do dump your milk down the sink….they’ll never know. And you being the “crafty dork mom who keeps checking her phone for pictures of her kids”…isn’t that what we all come here for? We love you for who you are, we all have our place in this world, and yours is a pretty good one. Hope you get lots of snuggle time with your girls this weekend!

ah, the breast pump stories. i’ve hauled mine across the country, to two OTHER countries and on girls’ weekends galore. i’ve pumped in a car, riding down the road (front seat passenger, no less). it’s all a bit crazy but so worth it. enjoy every last snuggly nursing moment with nella. you will miss it so, so unbelievably badly once it’s gone. sniff sniff. (my last baby nursed until he was 28 months old…and i cried when he finally weaned himself). best of luck!

I put my hands up to being a breast-milk dumper (we ran out of the dinky bags and clippitz). And the tell-tale whirr of the electric pump – unmistakable!We got engaged in NY, lots of happy memories, thank you for sharing your images

i have my first child and am just getting the nursing thing down, at 6 months, and appreciate the supportive community you found and shared..it ishard for me and worth it. I would love to go till 2 years and your pictures and story will continue to put fuel to that fire. Thanks

More alike than different……hmmmm….seems like a social message that relates to so many situations! so true! see what little Nella is teaching you! Welcome home. Found some awesome vintage tea party inspiration…..let me know if you are still planning and I’ll send you the link! xoxo

I love you description of being away from the kids…so true. I used to think that I needed time away to “refind” myself, and quickly realized that “myself” had just been redefined and was there all along. That being said, it’s refreshing to get that time to yourself, and personally, it makes me a better mom. Way to go, Nella…so exciting.

I can NOT stop laughing. . .dumping liquid gold? GASP! After nursing three into toddlerhood and being an LC, I can say you would certainly not be the first to underestimate the value of a pump when away. Once my co-worker dug a demo pump out of my bag to ‘relieve herself’ in the middle of a trip having convinced herself that her toddler wasn’t nursing enough for her to need a pump. So glad that you were able to find what you needed – and proud that you actually typed the word “breast” several times in your post. LOL!

Hahaha….loved the sign off! Funny how the sound of some words make us react. Made me want to visit NYC – been too long Thanks as always for inspiring me to go out and live my life despite being mega busy.

Thanks for bringing NYC to Ohio for me. I love it there and I forget. LOVE your blog and this post inspires me to travel (just a little) before adding a 3rd to our clan. <3 the “friday phone dump”! You are an amazing woman, mother, and photographer! Enjoy your weekend!

I am hoping to be able to go to NYC soon, we wanted to go last year but went to DC instead! I live so close and yet its so far away, maybe this year. I love Nella, and I’m so jelious that she lets you but things in her hair. My daughter is close to her age and its a fight, only daddy can do things and even then she pulls the stuff out! I need to know how you do it. I love love love the Dunkin Donuts picture and Laney’s crocheted top dress.

Isn’t it so nice to get away? So glad you got to experience the city on your own! On another note, your words about being a mother always touch me to my core, not only because my mom has been the most incredible human being in my life, but also because I can’t wait for the day when I will smell my own babies in my hair, on my clothes, and in my dreams. You are such an inspiration and your babies are so lucky to have you!

Can’t believe you found the word Unicorn carved in the sidewalk … you were meant to chance upon it. Time away for the nest is odd I guess … not experienced it yet myself, perhaps I should put that on the list of things to do for 2012. I miss my littlies when they’re not here though – school or sleep over at their cousins, the house seems so soulless and quiet, for all the peace and quite I’d rather have them chirruping away tugging at my apron strings I think.Much love X

The unicorn word on the sidewalk is super awesome. That is your word after all!

I am very lucky to live so close to the big city, I can’t wait to take the kids in the spring. Next time come and visit long island, I can just see you in the Hamptons, nothing to do with your name! We have a great wine region too!

My first experience visiting New York was for my fall break. Five days of inspiration. It rained all but one day, and I still think it was one of the best trips I have taken out there.Glad you snuck in some time to see a show! I would argue that it isn’t a real trip to the city without seeing at least one!

I am not yet finished reading this post but had to stop midway to comment on the first photo of Nella in her green romper. Her expression is fetching. She most definitely is giving the photographer a very verbose sidelong glance! Two year old individuality and personality just blooming along

im totally laughing out loud. awesome post. utterly fascinating. nella is such a big girl…that made me a little misty eyed. cannot wait to see how special her birthday is. and lainey love is such a little lady. how lucky you are!

The Upper breast side?! What doesn’t NYC have? I visited New york a little over a year ago for the first time, and I left my 13 month old with his gramma. I decided it would be the week that I would wean him from breastfeeding since I was going to be gone for so long – big mistake! Now every time I think of NYC all I remember is being in pain! I think it’s time for another trip 😉 Fabulous photos and it sounds like a wonderful trip.

Haha…loved your “rhymes with quest” milk pumping story. That was too funny! And the picture of Nella with her Dunkin’ Donuts is great! I know what you mean about enjoying the “me” time but still thinking about your kiddos at the same time. I love reading your blog…it always makes me smile.

Welcome back Kelle! Missed reading your posts so much! Love that you still nurse Nella…….I nursed my oldest until he was almost 2 1/2 and still nursing my 16-month-old……..they eventually wean themselves when they are ready. Have a great week! Blessings! : )Chelsea

just wait until who you leave behind are teenagers….you still smell them and feel them and miss them…all while wondering what kind of trouble they’re getting into…..and then your mind starts wondering and no matter what you’re away for {business or pleasure} you can’t concentrate and walk around in an almost moronic state…..oh kids. they truly are your heart walking around outside your body !!

Love the NY pictures – it sure looks like you packed it all in. Please promise me you’ll eat a bagel next time, write about the smell of a NY bagel shop and describe the experience. Every time I long for the east coast and NY it’s with bagels on my mind.

Oh man am I laughing so hard right now reading the section about breast feeding… I am breast feeding my 8 month old still and I am too the point of ‘is she getting anything or am just doing this for me?’. Too funny!! Thanks for the laugh!

*You are a good fit no matter where you are…..you belong everywhere *Okay, not just saying this, but sometimes Nella looks like my Nora! The pic of her standing with arms out stretched on the tennis court….I gasped and then smiled real big *And I think my favorite phone dump picture to date has got to be Nella with the Dunkin’ Donuts….Aaahhh! Her expression is PRICELESS! I want to eat her UP!!! (along with the donuts & coffee).

I wish I had read that you were in new york earlier. the beginning of your post about positive graffiti is so fitting, because my 7 year old son (who has Down syndrome) is featured in an NYC art exhibit by photographer Elisabeth Jordan on prayer and positive graffiti from Haiti. It’s called Written Offereings, and there are 4 children featured who are in need of extra prayers, in addition to the Haitian graffiti, and each photograph is covered in plexiglass so people can write their own positive thoughts directly on the photographs. Best part is, the last “photo” in the exhibit is a mirror. I wish you could have gone to see it.http://kkallaur.blogspot.com/2012/01/short-and-sweet.html

Kelle, Your writing is inspiring, real and reaches deep into my heart. Thank you for taking the time to share your life and soul with us blog readers. I am a grandmother and your posts are beautifully written and often bring tears to my eyes. Thank you for being a ‘light’ in my day as I travel to your blog on my computer for a reminder of what really matters in life. Much love to you!

I just love your writing. I stumbled upon your first post a year or two ago and blubbered…completely blubbered. And have not forgotten it.

Was just looking through this post after a time away, and my 3.5 and 5.5 yr old sons came in. My older one said, “Who is that?” with a picture of Nella. I said “That is a beautiful little girl named Nella.”

My little son said, “Does she have a mama?” And I said yes, she has a wonderful mama.” And then he said, “She happy.”