Why I Chose to Support a Man Accused of Sexual Harassment

I ran across a story in the media recently, about a man who’s been accused by a number of women in his industry for sexually harassing them.

Within a few days he’d resigned as president of the company, the company dissolved, and there’s a small media shitstorm, people are attacking him left and right, and he’s at the center of it all.

And my very first response when I read the story was compassion.

Through all the work I’ve done with men (myself included) I know that two things are true:
1. Men who are hurting inside do hurtful things outside.
2. Men who are at peace inside create peace outside. They live fulfilled, purposeful lives and their relationships reflect that.

My very second response was “Maybe if I can get in touch with him I can help him.”

Somehow I got the notion, growing up as a man, that men are bad. Myself included. That we do bad things, we hurt people, we rape, we kill, we’re violent.

At the core of me though, I know this is NOT true. I know that all men have a deep capacity to love and be loved. To heal and be healed. To live deeply meaningful lives that have profoundly positive impacts upon the world around them.

This is why I do the work that I do.

And yet I still experience fear in violating this social custom of turning men into “less than” (Which often happens by turning us into “more than”. More important, more powerful, more domineering…). I was scared to reach out to old colleagues from my past industry (the same industry as his) asking to be connected. I was scared to reach out to some of his (now former) colleagues.

I wonder what a world that’s free of this fear would be like? Where women feel safe walking alone at night and asserting their boundaries to men. Where men are appreciated and received as the lovingly powerful creatures that we all have the capacity to be.

And within a couple hours of reaching out to my own and his colleagues I got his contact information. I filmed a personal video and sent it to him.

I’m curious to see what opens up next.

I’m curious to see if he gets to be the next man who’s life becomes changed simply through me giving my gift.

I’m curious who I get to become as I more and more fully own my gift and allow it to take up ALL the space it needs to love and heal myself and the world around me.

I’m curious to see what it’s like to live in a world that celebrates men.