This might just be the Grand Guignol of petty thief dumbassery. As is wont to happen, a Brooklyn man named Nadal Nirenberg lost his phone in a cab at 4 AM on New Year's Eve. The next day, Nirinberg saw that whoever grabbed it later was using his OK Cupid profile (linked to his iPhone) to look for dates. So he set up a decoy OKC profile, using a photo of a comely woman from the Internet, and hit up, um, himself for a booty call.

"My best version of talking as a girl, as a flirty girl, I should say, is adding winky face emoticons," Nirenberg said later.

The mark took the bait, writing: "U wanna meet?"

When Nirenberg said he did, the target, thinking he was communicating with a buxom beauty, asked, "Will you kiss me?"

Nirenberg coyly responded, "Well … I don't have a boyfriend."

They made plans to meet up at Nirenberg's place, even though from the thief's perspective, the endgame here is obviously be flawed because the guy who shows up would clearly not be the same guy as the one in the profile. Danny Ocean, this guy ain't. But lo and behold, he arrived with the optimistic booty call regalia—nice jacket, cologne, wine. Nirenberg confronted the man, took his phone back, quickly gave him $20 and ran back inside.

"As he was walking away, I was surprised, I said, ‘You smell great though,'" Nirenberg said.