I absolutely, despise my so-called "boss". Our work day is 8:30-4:30. She gets here around 9:45 - but her day still hasn't begun.

First, she needs to go to the ladies room to put on her face. Whatever it is she does, it doesnt help. She uses a can of hair spray a day on hair that looks like a helmet. Do you remember Fisher Price Little People - with the plastic hair? She was the model.

Then, she gets breakfast and eats it at her desk. Then she reads the paper. Then she goes online and reads shit about aliens. Then she goes online to balance her checkbook.

By 11:00, she's bushed. She goes to take a break. She actually puts her head down and snoozes in the break room. HER WORK DAY STILL HAS NOT BEGUN!

She'll get back from her 40 minute "15-minute break" and open like, Word or some other program so it looks like she's working. She stares out her window, like birds are some new fangled invention. She talks on her work phone and her cell phone at the same time - all personal calls. I once heard her say "Hi, this is Tina's mom. Have you seen her? She went out last night and I havn't heard from her yet. No? Oh, ok." her daughter was 15 at the time.

Did I mention that when she walks in, she doesnt even mutter a "good morning" to us? She sucks so bad. The CEO notices all of this shit, but says nothing. He can't admit he make a mistake hiring her (over 2 fucking years ago).

She takes 3 hour lunches - no exaggeration! 3 fucking hours! Wanna know what she does? She goes shopping and then... get this... pulls out a chair from her car, hikes up her already too-short skirt (she is NOT attractive), and tans herself. She comes back sweaty and stinking of perfume. She waits til about 10 minutes after we leave for the day to go home, so it looks like she's stays late, but we know better!

This isn't even the half of it, but I feel a little better now. THANKS!

You think about going to get shawarmas for lunch, but you can't because you are in Utah and there are no Lebanese restaurants anywhere.

The reason you are in Utah and at your parents house is because you broke up with your ex-fiance/boyfriend last week.

You got the "I told you so" speech from your parents.

You have already been told twice by your parents that you need to put more clothes on.

When you told your mom that you were going to spend the night after a wedding with your best friend (you were both bridesmaids or helping with the reception) she replied, "You can sleep over at Jenny's if you go to church tomorrow." Keep in mind you weren't ASKING for permission, but letting said parent know as courtesy.

Your mom has already tried in the 48 or so hours since you first got back to get you to go to a "singles" ward activity in the hopes that you will meet somebody nice.

You had a conversation with your boyfriend the night before about your method of breaking up.

You realized that coming to Utah for moral support seems to have been a brilliant idea whose time should never have come.

You have no money.

(Can you tell I'm having a shitty week? But I have nobody to blame but myself.)