I don’t care very much about clothes, and hence don’t own a lot of clothes. I pretty much rotate between four pairs of shorts and maybe eight t-shirts, six of which are black (and five of which are Fat Cyclist t-shirts).

That’s pretty much it. That’s how I dress. When I travel, I don’t have to choose what to wear; I just bring everything along. It still fits in a carry-on.

And yet, my closet is full. I have several bike jerseys, and several pairs of bibshorts. And some cold-weather riding gear: a few jackets, tights, vests, and pairs of armwarmers. And some more jerseys.

Just the essentials, really.

“I cannot believe how many jerseys you have,” said The Hammer. “You could wear a different jersey every day for a month, including weekends.”

“That’s ridiculous,” I answered.

And so The Hammer decided to make a point. She got out all my bike clothes (although she forgot my socks and gloves. I I took pains not to remind her of this fact because I was pretty sure it would not work in my favor), and she laid them out on the driveway.

Originally I planned to take a picture from a tall ladder at the end of the driveway (you can see the shadow of the ladder in the top-left corner of the above image), but it just wasn’t high enough to be able to see the jerseys well.

So I went on the roof of the house and photographed them there. I still couldn’t get all the stuff in the frame, so I took a bunch of photos and then kinda-sorta stitched them all together in Photoshop.

Once you get over the “Help, the world is upside down!” feeling (and the fact that my Photoshop skills aren’t that great), you will no doubt notice that I do, in fact, not have enough jerseys to wear a different one every day for a month. That was clearly absurd of The Hammer to even suggest such a thing.

I have enough jerseys to wear a different one every day for two months.

Clearly, I have a problem.

And–obviously–that problem is: I need to get more bibshorts.

PS: Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you’re any different than me.

PPS: Speaking of jerseys, there are a lot of people noticing that the new FatCyclist jersey is quite possibly the best jersey we’ve ever done (see professionally-shot self-portrait, right), and folks are wondering how they can get one.

Well, the best way to get one was to have been part of the pre-order back in July. However, there will be a few jerseys and other Team Fatty gear available once all the pre-orders have shipped and exchanges have been handled.

Those will go on sale in mid-October. You’ll want to act fast, because those will probably sell out within a day.

The best way to stay posted on when these will be available will be to read this blog and follow me and TwinSix on Twitter.

We are certainly brothers separated at birth. I retire from my fire department job in about a week and had to gather 30 years worth of uniforms to return (since 9/11 all old uniforms have to be returned and destroyed when you separate service). While cleaning out my closet I realized that I only wear about 4 pair of shorts, two pairs of jeans, and about 8 t-shirts and 6 of those are some sort of off-duty FD shirt. All the rest of my clothes are for the motorcycle. Now that I have begun riding a bike again the jerseys collection is starting to grow…. the wife has already warned me. Now if there were only some Fat Cyclist jerseys to buy….

I just added a PS to today’s post describing when you will be able to get this year’s jersey. Mid-October is the short version of the answer, though. – FC

WOW! Is that what my future holds for me? I CAN’T WAIT!! I have only been doing more serious riding for a year and I already have 4 bibs and 10 jerseys. It does seem odd that the jerseys quickly outnumber the bibs. I think you need to do a picture with all your bikes and helmets next.

But, opposite-land: I have I think 7 jerseys (one long sleeved, even) and 4 pairs of shorts.

The next time I contemplate spending bunches of dollars on bike clothes, I will be sure to bring along your picture to convince my significant other that obviously, I need more shorts and jerseys. Or to convince him that I don’t spend as much money on bike clothing as he thinks I have.

You totally missed an opportunity to recreate that silly T-shirt video on youtube where the guy puts one shirt on top of the other until he looks like a marshmallow. You should layer these for your next deep winter ride.

I have this same problem. The inequal ratio of jerseys to bib shorts, that is.

The real problem, I think, is that jerseys almost never wear out, but bib shorts only last a year or two. It would be stinkin’ expensive to build up the bib shorts inventory to an equitable level and maintain it there.

Couldn’t help but notice that right side up or upside down that the jerseys are smaller at one end. Odd that the smaller ones appear to be the older ones. I’m still scratching my head. You should take all the jerseys you don’t wear, put them one of those storage bags and suck the air out. Write a discription of the greatest moments riding while wearing each jersey. Then decades from now when your children are opening the Fatcyclist Hall of Fame the jerseys with great stories can be framed for display on the Wall of Fame.

Our collection overlaps by about 6 jerseys (and not all FC jerseys). Of course, some are too large to wear anymore (Fat Cyclist jerseys are known for miracle weight loss properties), but I can’t bear to part with them.

Maybe you could send them to Johan to give to the folks in Africa with their new bikes? Or maybe give them away to random people who comment on the blog….who happed to be XL and wish they found you you years ago so they could have a more complete collection of FC gear. (In particular the painted jersey…love that one) Even though I wear XL and would be happy to meet you at the top of the Alpine Loop without any jersey (ack that would be frightning and painful since I just suck at climbing) and wear whatever random one you brought. I’m thinking more about your other addoring fans who would fit the same mold. Just Sayin.

Ha ha! You are just like me! Don’t feel ashamed. I have only been riding for a few years, so I have less then you do, but I have a lot for the short time I’ve been riding. I built up the supply so I could ride everyday for a week within the first 6 months of riding. I often go into the basement and appreciate all my bike clothes and supplies.

Oh, and between my husband and myself, we have enough mountain bike tires to stock a bike shop.

Fatty, am I going insane or is the jersey you’re wearing a full zip whereas the Twin Six site lists a 16” zip?

Is this the fearless leader edition, or something?

Either way, it looks sharp.
This is one of those cases where a mistake turns out great. The jerseys were supposed to be 3/4 zip, but were made full-zip. I couldn’t be happier with the error. Hearing the same thing from others. – FC

Sorry – I read the article way too fast :)I just saw the part where you didn’t have one for every day of the month.

By my experience, you have 5 – 8 years worth of jerseys – two FC jerseys, four to five charity rides, and several centuries every year until you start to forget what some of them were for. And as someone already mentioned, you usually get 2 – 3 t-shirts for every jersey.

Excellent, photographic proof that you did received the Astana jersey signed by Alex. I’m so glad it arrived safely.

That is quite a collection but in your defence you have been riding for some time and I’m also guessing some of the shirts were freebies.

My Swiss friend has a separate wardrobe for his very extensive collection of matching shirts and bibshorts. In some cases, he also has the matching casual kit. You’ll be pleased to learn, although I appreciate that it may be of little consolation to The Hammer, that your collection is one-tenth of the size of his. In addition, kit of which he has tired gets sent to Burkina Faso.

Having too many jerseys/shorts is never a problem. My ex-wife used to compain about all my bikes and gear (including dozens of jerseys). Sinse she refused to ride/workout I told her I would gladly sell everything and take the money to go buy heroin. Thought maybe she’d see there are worse problems than having a TON of cycling gear. Worked out easier to divorce her and find a good women with a sweet carbon bike…

yeah, but i bet at any given time not all jerseys fit… i’m guessing they span a few sizes and thus are prob. really a much smaller effective wardrobe (as in right now you are a size (?M?) and thus can chose from only 10? 20? 30? jerseys or something)

You’re very perceptive. A lot of these — the size L and the few XLs — are stored out of main rotation for that very reason. – FC

Well Twin six was getting me my fat cyclist jersey in time for this weekend, however, my ankle was broken at work last night. I can’t get a break this month. Needless to say, i won’t be riding the fondo. I am totally bummed out. I was really looking forward to hanging out with Elden and everyone this time, since i cut out after davis. Needless to say, i am extremely upset since i won’t get to ride or get my goodie bag and commerative shirt. Elden make sure to get video again or some good pictures to rub it in. At least i have a nice package from twin six this week to stare at and motivate me to get healed faster. If i am feeling better, i might try to drive up with my left foot and ring some cowbells for the fatty’s riding. Crutches suck!!!!!!!!

Oh, that sucks. I’m so sorry to hear that, Justin. Keep us posted on how you’re doing, OK? – FC

Justin: you are definitely wanted at the Gran Fondo, cowbells and all. No pie this time, sorry. My plan is Avocados and fixin’s so Fatty can do his Ron Popiel Act.
How can we ride without a pie reward? How ’bout a coconut cake from Comforts (Yann you know Comforts don’t you?) Guacamole goes with Cake doesn’t it? Do we like cake?

For the Jersey question I like the idea of a worthy cause: How about a display case at the Bicycling Hall of Fame in Davis. You are a star there now!

At david-marin, I LOVE coconut. I LOVE avocados. I LOVE cake. Too bad I won’t be at the Gran Fondo this weekend! :) Sadly, I haven’t heard anything about avocados, pie, cake, or anything for Austin. Looks like our small Team Fatty as raised enough for a complimentary team tent…

On the jersey front, I feel way behind. I only have 5: 1 blk/pink Fatty, 1 white/pink Fatty, 1 Novara, 1 Bike MS, 1 Alaska Fireweed Race jersey. I have 1 pair of bib shorts (Fatty!) and three pairs of reg shorts. I don’t wear the bib shorts often cause unless it’s above 65, I’ll freeze. I’m an Alaskan girl – born and raised, but I’m a wimp. Didn’t think I’d like bibs, but I do though my yoga cut novara bike shorts are my favs. This maybe TMI, but I have to pee a lot when I ride and having to pull off bib shorts while peeing in the woods isn’t a good thing.

After seeing Elden’s collection, I feel behind. I sniff a Mellow Johnny’s jersey in my future when I visit Austin next month. :)

When my new fat cyclist jersey arrived last week (very nice by the way), I was wondering if I was accumulating too many jerseys. Now, thanks to your excellent post, I can see that in fact I have way too few.

In Austin it’s Chili! (a food, not the temperature) Probably need to find out who’s the ’site’ leader down there and, oh! make sure someone brings some Lammies! The Austinites know where to get them.

@Comment by ricky | 09.27.2011 | 5:53 pm
Kinda like the ‘quilt’ idea. Is this limited to Fatty and his family, or can any spouse clean out the closet and send a legion of favorite jerseys that way? (just need to know if I should get a lock for my closet)

My husband’s only observation? “He doesn’t have any gloves.” Apparently that’s his way either justifying his 15 pairs of riding gloves or masking his disappointment that he does not have a jersey collection the size of yours…yet…

Man…I catch flak from my wife because I want another jersey. I’ve been cycling for two years now and only have two jerseys and two shorts. What am I doing wrong? How do you get away with purchasing these? And if you’re not purchasing them, what’s your secret there??!!

With this extensive selection to choose from, why do the same ones turn up time and time again?

And they look rather sad and deflated spread out like that. With the retail sector collapsing keep your eye out for some old shop mannequins and buy a truckload. Then you can display them properly around the house :-) How could anyone object to that?

I have an annual 100km event comming up next weekend (9th) and here’s hoping that my FC gear shows up in time, else I may just have to wear the new work cycling gear (more cycling more often). Also, I have managed to source a local distributer for “Stinger Honey Waffles” will have to talk loudly about then during the ride.

I just got my Fatty kit two days ago in an already cold Finland! No days left to actually wear it outside for everyone to enjoy the magnificent work of FatC and TwinSix. I will, however, wear it indoors in the trainer for the wife to enjoy!

Since I now see that I am obviously jersey poor (and flat out poor overall if you really get down to it), you have lost so much weight, and I am still significantly bigger than you, I am willing to do a favor for you. I will help your case against the hammer, and help raise funds for World Bicycle Relief (!!!) (and leave you with room to add a jersey to your closet that actualy fits you) by letting you donate a large jersey to my closet. BUT! I am not going to let you just donate a large jersey to my closet, I will only allow you to do so if I can finish in the top 10 of your leaderboard for the month of October. Oh, and I will have to make it with half points since my garmin broke back in May. But, I only do this because I love you so.