Fat bottomed dogs make the underworld go round

For a dog with a barrell-middle, our dog Macaulay has a surprisingly neat bottom. I would not call it large.

There are men like that, aren’t there? The neatest behinds despite the beer belly from Hades looming uncertainly above.

The dogs which have a fat bottom, we call Moogs, for reasons to which I shall come presently. Graceless, affable, over indulged creatures, they have been beloved of man for centuries. yet still they have the capacity to appear where we least expect them.

The American Museum of Natural History is a great, beautifully built cabinet of curiosities. The stuffed animals left me cold when we walked its corridors, but the anthropology had my eyes bulging from their sockets. It was an Aladdin’s Cave of story, and I could have spent all day there, travelling painstakingly from case to case. The Siberians I am saving for another day, but I must salute the fat-bottomed dogs which grin affably from their glass stands, small compact barrels, representations of kinetic energy for amyone who has ever owned a moog.

Alas, visiting with a family meant I was afforded just precious minutes there. I’m coming back, I resolved, alone, another year . And then I shall spend all day there.

The fat bottomed dogs hail from those strange shaft-tombs in Colima, Western Mexico; complex family trees fashioned in related tunnels underground, some centuries before Christ. There may be two reasons, the anthropologists tell us, why the ancient Mexicans put fat bottomed dogs in their tombs. Admittedly one reason could be that fat bottomed dogs could be eaten on the journey into the afterlife.

Or you can believe the other version, and I think I do. Fat bottomed dogs are spirit guides. They were put there in those subterranean tombs to guide the souls of the dead to a halcyon afterlife.

Look at them, though. One look at those little chaps is enough to know that they were companions, not lunch. The very thought of eating a fat bottomed dog is unsavoury; but as someone who trails a dog’s bottom through ancient forests every day, I cannot think of anything more comforting than following a moog’s behind to eternity.

I mentioned I would explain why we call them moogs.

Ready for something odd?

This is what a whole generation of English children – including me – were brought up on.

How did I miss Kenneth William’s “Moog” cartoons whilst growing up? I think I know the answer, being the sizeable difference in our ages. I was probably already in the pub when Moog was offering his wisdom 🙂

Oh, Willo the Wisp! How have I missed you? Cheers Kate. You’ve given me a large outbreak of nostalgia. I feel a trip to Youtube land to find that other childhood great voiced by Kenneth Williams – Ludwig!! 🙂
Talking of fat bottomed dogs… ‘dog Dog has decided his bottom needs to be on my feet :[)

Moogs is entirely new to me, Kate! I’d love to see more…I wonder if I can find these old cartoons on the web. Gonna try! 🙂 You’ve opened my eyes to see these works of art differently. I suspect because of our geographic proximity to Mexico and the fact that the Mexican art influence is pervasive in Southern California, I’ve seen similar “fat bottomed dogs” in other museums and even in more current representations, but the truth is I really didn’t “see” them!