1. Do the mathPro Bowl selections are...

Thursday. Last year, the Bears had five players in the game. This year, they have four wins. Five minus four equals one good draft pick.

2. Welcome to the zoo

With so few fans showing up, a Cincinnati city councilman wants to give underprivileged kids tickets to see the 1-13 Bengals play. Haven't these kids suffered enough?

3. Wash and wax

Jeff Kent cleaned up with an $18.2 million, two-year contract from the Astros on Wednesday. That should be enough to just buy trucks as they get dirty.

4. Taxes schmaxes

The Yankees are close to signing Japanese star Hideki Matsui for $21 million. New York is also in negotiations to bring back Roger Clemens, bring in Bartolo Colon and bring their payroll to a greater sum than the GDP of Burundi. Too bad Burundi can't hit the breaking stuff. The Yankees could use them.

5. Fade to black

New Mexico State football coach Tony Samuel was reprimanded for punching the video coordinator of the team's annual highlight film. Buzz is they're close to a distribution deal at Sundance.

SIXTH MAN

6. Make room

Texas-Pan American rescheduled a women's basketball game against Centenary because former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani was coming to town. The school canceled another game when they heard the same news about Santa Claus.