"Mommy" Jack screamed as he ran into his mother’s arms. Lara hugged him tight as Frank and Maggie walked out to greet her. Frank and Maggie both gave Lara sympathetic looks.
"Jack can you go watch some TV for abit. Your mom and us need to talk," Maggie said. Jack ran away laughing. Maggie and Frank both turned back to Lara.
"Ray told us what happened. Are you alright?" Frank asked. Lara smiled and nodded.
"I think it was for the best. But now I think I need a new place to bunk in. Toby probably won't want me around after last night," she said. Frank walked over and said she was welcome to stay with them and Linda. With a lot of pushing from Maggie and Frank, Lara took the offer for the meantime, until she found a place of her own.
"Have you got any thought of whether you are going to stay here or go back to Canada?" Maggie asked. Lara shrugged as she looked over to Jack who was having fun watching TV. Canada had been good to her, but Jersey was always going to be her home. Lara excused herself from the table and went to the kitchen. She was in desperate need of coffee. Lara grabbed a mug and poured herself some of the ready-made coffee in the pot. From the kitchen, Lara heard Frank telling Maggie he had to go to practice.
"Lara do you want to come. You can see Ray-Ray again. And Ma can watch the kid," Frank said walking into the kitchen. Lara smirked and she took a gulp of her coffee.
"Sure, why not. And by the way, there is nothing going on," she said as she took a final gulp of her coffee and placed the mug in the sink. Linda came downstairs from cleaning and agreed to look after Jack. Then Lara, Frank and Maggie left. The three walked together laughing just like they were 18 again. Maggie tripped a few times pulling Frank down with her. Lara couldn't help but laugh. They arrived at a white double-storey house and green shutters. She assumed this was another one of the band member's homes. As the door opened Lara saw someone she knew immediately.
"DANIELLE!" Lara screamed running up to her old friend. She threw her arms around Danielle but she didn't return the gesture. Lara went to pull away but then Danielle wrapped her arms around her.
"What are you doing here?" Lara asked as the two walked into the house followed by Frank and Maggie.
"I am dating Mikey and Maggie told me to come because she had a surprise for me. I guess your it!" she yelled hugging Lara again. They all went down a few stairs to a basement ant sat on the couch.
"Do you mean the nerdy Mikey with the glasses that he always wore on the end of his nose?" she asked.
"Yes that would be me," said a tall, nerdy guy with glasses, which had changed from last time she saw him.
"Oh. Hey," Lara said, Mikey smiled and sat next to Danielle. They got to talking for a while until 2 other guys showed up. One of them she knew to be Ray and the other she didn't remember. She had left just after Frank joined the band. He had mid-length black hair and hazel eyes.
"Where the fuck is Matt?" he asked sounding agitated. The others shrugged until he looked over at Lara and titled his head.
"I am Lara, their friend," she said waving her hand towards Frank and Maggie. He nodded and then began to pace. Mikey got up and walked over to the guy pacing.
"Gerard calm down I am sure Matt will be here soon," Mikey said to who Lara was guessing to be Gerard.
"Well I am here now. And if some dickhead bothered to check his phone, he would have known I was running late. Marisa had the doctors appointment today so I had to drive her there," some random guy said, obviously Matt. Gerard just grunted and grabbed the mic. Frank and Ray picked up their guitars and Matt walked over to the drum kit. Mikey stood there and waited for Ray to hand him the bass and plug it in.
"He isn't allowed to go near the plugs. Bad experiences," Maggie whispered in Lara's ear. Lara laughed as they started to play. Gerard said they would play a song called Helena. As soon as it started, Lara loved it.
Long ago
Just like the hearse you die to get in again
We are
So far from you
Lara closed her eyes and let the music fill her body.

-----------------

6 years ago

It was a Saturday morning and Lara woke up at 12. Pretty early for her actually. Lara changed into some old jeans and a t-shirt before she went downstairs; only to overhear her parents talking about her. She hid behind one of the walls and listened in on the conversation.
"Well what do you want to do with her? Huh?" that was her mother.
"I don't know what to do with her anymore. She barely ever leaves her room and when she does it is always to go to a friends place or she locks herself in the bathroom. God, knows what she does in there," that was her father.
"Don't be stupid. You know what she does in the bathroom. Why do you think she never wears shorts, or barely goes swimming when it's hot?"
"Alright, alright, you have made your point. Jason knows something but he isn't home to say anything. I think we should send her to a counselor. Maybe they can help her," Lara had, had enough. She stormed into the kitchen and saw her parents sitting at the kitchen table.
"YOU WANT TO SEND ME TO A SHRINK!" she yelled. Her parents jumped up from the table and looked at her.
"Honey, we are trying to help you. You barely come out of your room and you never talk to us," her mom said to her. Lara gave a sarcastic laugh.
"Help me? By sending me to a shrink? Have you ever thought to ask me how I am feeling or what is going on in my life? Have you ever thought as to why I barely come out of my room? When am I ever meant to talk to you mom? Dad?" Lara spoke. Her parents looked at each other then back to their daughter. Her dad sat her down on a chair and then sat across from her.
"All we ever wanted is for you to be happy. It seems that ever since you started high school you have just been on a downward spiral. Talk to us," he said.
"NO! I have been on a downward spiral because of you and mom! You don't care whether or not I am home at night just as long as I don't get in the way of both of you guys fucking different people on the side,"
"Watch your mouth," her mother said icily.
"NO! I am tired of pretending to be a happy family. I can't do it anymore. Why do you think Jason left? Because he needed to get out,"
"LARA ENOUGH!" her father roared.
"DAD! Do you not understand? We are living a lie. Every time someone comes over, we have to pretend that you and mom love each other when you don't. We have to pretend that you are not an alcoholic and mom doesn't do cocaine. And I have to pretend that I love you guys when the truth is, I DON'T!" and with these words Lara ran out of the house. She just kept running and running until she reached Maggie's house. Lara beat her fist against the door until a scrawny little boy answered it.
"Sam is Maggie home?"
"In her room," he said opening the door abit more to let Lara in. She ran up the stairs and into Maggie's room to find her sitting on the floor with a bunch of music magazines. Maggie looked up and smiled.
"This is no time for smiling. I have a problem," Lara fell onto the bed and was quickly joined by Maggie. She was silent, waiting for Lara to continue.
"My parents want to send me to a shrink. And then we got into a fight and I told them I couldn't keep playing happy family and that, I-I didn't love them," Maggie's jaw was literally almost hitting the floor.
"Whoa! A shrink? They must think you really are fucked up," she said nearly laughing. She threw her an evil look and she immediately stopped. Lara groaned and closed her eyes. Maggie lay down next to her and hugged her. The two of them stayed like that for a few minutes until the phone started to ring. Maggie ran out into the hall and answered it.
"Hello," she said walking back into the room. The phone cord was really long.
"Umm, sure," she said as she handed the phone to Lara.
"Hello," Lara spoke into the receiver.
"Darling come home, there has been an accident," it was her father.
"What kind of an accident?"
"Just come home Lara and we will talk about it when you get here,"
"I am not coming home until you tell me!" she had jumped up from the bed and felt extremely light-headed.
"Your grandma Ruth is dead Lara! Now will you for fucks sake come home and help me with your mother?" he father almost yelled into the phone. Lara dropped the phone and quickly enough, she had dropped right next to it.

Lara was standing in between Frank and Maggie who were both holding onto each of her hands tightly. She watched as the 6 pallbearers carried her dead grandmother out of the church in a coffin. Her mother was in hysterics and her father was trying to comfort her. Lara knew she should be over there but she didn't want to be. The only person she ever looked up to, the one who cared for her all those years ago, the person who made Lara keep going, was dead. Her brother Jason was standing behind her with his girlfriend. She had never seen her brother cry up until now. Lara turned around and hugged her brother tight. Finally once they had let go, it was just the five of them in the church.
"Mom was right. Its my fault she is dead," Lara said out of nowhere. She felt 4 pairs of eyes pierce her skin at that very moment.
"Lara, it isn't your fault. And since when do you listen do your stupid mother" Maggie said placing a hand on her shoulder.
"It is. My grandma was coming to our house after I had the fight with my parents. Mom rang her to talk and then on her way over, when she crossed the road-" Lara broke down in tears. Jason wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Lara wiped away her tears and began again.
"If only I had kept my mouth shut, it would have stopped mom ringing her and then she wouldn't have walked over,"
"Lara stop please. It isn't your fault. Lets just go back to my place," Frank said. Lara sniffled and nodded, as did everyone else.
"You guys go, I will be there in a second," Lara said. The other four left and Lara was left alone looking up at the large crucifix on the wall behind the altar.
"They say everything happens for a reason. You are yet to show me what your reason for this is," and with that Lara left the church to meet up with the others.

-----------------------

Back to present

Lara felt her head on something soft. Slowly she opened her eyes to see 7 heads all looking at her.
"Lara are you okay? You sort of blacked-out and started yelling things. And you have a few tears in your eyes," Ray said helping her sit up. Lara wiped her eyes and quickly stood up.
"Yeah, I am fine. I just remembered I needed to be somewhere other than here," she said as she left the room. She ran out and realised she forgot the way they came here from Frank's house.
"Lost?" Lara spun around to see Ray standing there. She nodded, a little, embarrassed as Ray came over and took her hand leading her away from the house.
"Look you don't have to tell me what that was about back there but I just wanted to let you know, that I am here if you need to talk," he said smiling at her. Lara just nodded and thanked him.
"Follow this road until you reach the end, turn left and the it's the second right. That is Frank's street. I presume you know where to go from there," he asked.
"Actually I am staying at Frank's place. I better tell him I am going home,"
"I will tell him. You look like you should get some rest," Ray gave her a hug and said goodnight before retreating inside. Lara set off in the direction she was told. When she reached the end of the street and went left, she looked at her watch. It was 4:58 pm. Lara quickened her pace so she could get home to Jack. She took the second right and almost ran down to Frank's house. She knocked on the door and Linda answered with Jack holding her hand.
"Lara dear you don't have to knock, this is your home now too," she said as she ushered Lara in.
"Now dear I have guest you may find an interest in," Linda said. Lara looked at her in question and Linda smiled as she led Lara to the lounge room.
"Hello Lara,"
"Mom," Lara's mother walked over and hugged her. Lara returned it with a small pat on the back.
"What are you doing here?" Lara asked her mother.
"I was about to ask you the same thing. I came over to Linda's for a coffee and saw Jack. At first glance I knew who he was. Just as gorgeous as you were when you were first born," Lara looked at Linda and gave her a look to take Jack outside for a while. Linda got the hint and before long it was just Lara and her mother.
"Mom, what are you doing? We have never gotten along, so why try the motherly act now?" Lara asked as she sat down on the couch opposite her mother. Her mother looked hurt and upset but Lara knew that face was soon going to be followed by frustration and anger. Her mother sighed and there it was! The frustrated look! Lara laughed a little inside.
"Lara I am here to try and apologise for what I have done,"
"Oh, you mean like being a bad mother, doing cocaine, sleeping with a different guy every night, kicking me out of the house when you found out I was pregnant and blaming me for your mother's death. Which one mom, take your pick,"
"Look, I know I have been horrible but honestly I have cleaned up. No more drugs and I don't sleep around anymore. And I don't blame you for her death; I was just angry and upset,"
"And what about you and dad?"
"We have been going to marriage counseling for the past 2 years after we had a break for 6 months. A lot has changed since you left and your father and I would really love it if you came and lived with us again. What do you say?" her mother looked at her hopefully. Lara felt half sorry for the women but then on the other hand, she hated her for making her feel like shit since she was about the age of 12.
"No mom. I can't. Too much has happened and I don't know whether I can just forgive you for it all. Feel free to come and visit Jack but I won't be coming to live with you," Lara spoke. Her mother sniffed and nodded, standing up.
"I know my way out," she said and swiftly walked past her daughter. The door shut and Lara was left sitting on the couch alone. Fuck, she knew she should have stayed in Canada.

-------------------------

"Say goodnight to everyone Jack," Lara said as Jack walked over to Maggie and gave her a goodnight hug. Then he went to Frank and Linda. He walked back over to his mother who excused herself while she went to put Jack to bed. The two of them walked up the stairs and into the small room where Jack was sleeping. She tucked him in and gave him a quick goodnight kiss before turning on the night-light and leaving the room. By the time Lara had gotten back to lounge room, Linda had gone to bed and Frank and Maggie were watching TV.
"How are you feeling?" Frank asked. Lara looked at him and shrugged.
"We know why you blacked-out and ran away. We remembered after you left," Maggie said sympathetically.
"You guys didn't-"
"Of course not. But they were all asking questions, especially Ray," Frank said raising his eyebrows several times. Lara ignored this at looked at Maggie.
"You know my mother was here when I got back this after noon. She said she came to visit Linda and saw Jack and recognized him straight away. She wanted me to come and live with her," Maggie and Frank looked shocked.
"What did you say?" he asked. Just then, Lara's phone began to ring and she shook her head to say 'no' and she answered.
"Hello,"
"Hey Lara," it was Ray. Lara smiled and stood up and walked to the corner of the room. Maggie and Frank followed and tried listening to the phone.
"Oh hi Ray. What's up?" she asked walking away still being followed by Frank and Maggie.
"I was just wondering whether or not you were free for lunch tomorrow?"
"Yeah sure. I would have to find someone to look after Jack though,"
"Bring him along. We can make it like a picnic at the park. So I will pick you up at Iero's around 12. Okay?"
"Sure. See you then," Lara hung the up the phone. Frank was smirking and Maggie was laughing. Lara rolled her eyes and slapped each of them playfully on the arm.
"So you and Ray, a date?" Maggie teased.
"There is nothing going on. It is just two friends going on a picnic. Plus Jack will be coming. You can hardly call that romantic," Lara said smartly.
"A guy who chases after you to make sure you are alright, gives you the right directions home," at this Maggie looked at Frank.
"It was one fucking time. I thought it was the right way," Frank said in defense. Maggie hit him and went back to what she was saying.
"Asks you out on a date and lets you bring your kid. Can you honestly tell me again that nothing is going on and that you two are just friends after all that?" Maggie left it at that and her and Frank headed up to bed. Lara sat there thinking. She did think Ray was really sweet but she wasn't sure if she wanted to put herself out there again.
"Lets see what tomorrow brings" she said to herself before going off to bed.
Just another day in the life.