Ancient Roots

What brings us to this place we call "transgender" -- this
way of being that needs to redefine, transform, and recreate itself in
a world that insists we must conform to our genitals? Perhaps there was an
itch in the groin. Most assuredly, there was an ache in the heart. And
let's not discount all the mental anguish.

Researchers are investigating causative factors such as chromosomes,
unique hormonal configurations, and of course psycho-social influences....
but I ask you: what do you believe it is that made you transgendered?
Was it the itch, the ache, the anguish... or was it also something else?
-- something most people can't define, something called "spirit".

This "body-heart-mind-spirit" pattern is an age-old, universal
construct. Most of us spend a lot of our lives in the "body-mind" mode.
Some of us manage to also be in "heart space". But how many
actually visit the dimension of "spirit" -- even a few times,
much less regularly? I have observed, however, that many transgendered
people not only visit this dimension -- out of necessity -- but are often coming
from this place.

And what is spirit, but the impetus that yearns to manifest --
in the flesh, with full heart and awareness. Chromosomes and sensuality
aside, isn't there something very clear and evident coming through here'?
Are we not Spirit manifesting in its own glorious diversity? Scientists
may never be able to measure or explain this magnificent occurrence,
but we are living proof of Spirit manifesting beyond the limited
social constructs of gender.

As we consider this vague and oft-forgotten notion of "spirit",
it is very interesting to note that the majority of older world religions
perceived their deities as hermaphroditic and whole-gendered. Ardhanarisvara
in Hinduism, Avalokitesvara and Kuan Yin in Buddhism, and Dionysus in
the Greek pantheon are examples of this. Divine androgyny is reflected
in subsequent representations of avatars such as Sri Krsna in Vedanta,
Lan Ts'ai Ho in Taoist China, and even Jesus Christ. In the Qabbalah,
Adam mirrored an androgynous God before the split into Eve and subsequent
fall from grace. As with many nobles, the Pharaohs of Egypt emulated
their gods, which were mostly androgynous throughout Africa. Angels and
Faeries too, are usually perceived as androgynous beings. The reflections
of Transgender Spirit are ancient and deep.

Meanwhile, we are living in a predominantly patriarchal world where
the primary deities reflect masculine values. God the Father is perceived
as Spirit, while Mother Nature has been subjugated to a status of' dross,
inanimate matter. Our notions of gender, too, have been shaped by this
deep polarization -- perhaps as a sort of "divide and conquer" strategy
of the patriarchy, which seeks to dominate and control mankind, as well
as Nature herself'

This was not always so. In fact, up until somewhat recently in human
history (about 5,000 years ago), a spirit of Goddess prevailed in most
cultures. This did not mean that women ruled over men. Rather, there
was a sense of balance and partnership without hierarchies of power,
or the need to resort to armed conflict. In her book, The Chalice
and the Blade, Riane Eisler explains how the subjugation of the Feminine
is directly linked with the exploitation and ruin of Nature, and warfare
is resorted to as the only definitive method of ultimate resolution --
first forced, then enforced.

Once these dynamics of Spirit and Nature are recognized, is it any wonder
that issues of gender play a pivotal role throughout the entire realm
of humanity? And given the premise of trans-gender, that gender expression
can occur independently of biological sex, it's quite understandable
that transgendered people would be wrestling within this culturally imposed
conflict in very personal and profound ways. The processes of gender
transgression are simply a way for Spirit to transcend the passing whims
and dictates of human cultures in order to more freely manifest its glorious
diversity in Nature-and in our very flesh This process forms the root
of Transgender Spirituality.

Regardless of the recent efforts of Western science to prove hormonal
or chromosomal causation, it's really no mystery that transgendered people
have manifested throughout history as an expression of Spirit. Evidence
continually abounds of our flesh being informed and inspired by Spirit,
whether we are a hefty male-to-female ex-football star, or a dainty female-to-male
ex-ballerina. When Spirit moves, anything is possible. And, as Walter
Williams points out in The Spirit and the Flesh, when Spirit manifests
beyond reproductive imperatives--whether lesbian, gay or transgendered--there
are other blessings to be shared: unique awareness and rare opportunities
to enrich our world.

We are discovering that traditions of Transgender Spirituality span
all time and place, thanks to the efforts of anthropologists and others
who are resurrecting various aspects of history which were nearly erased
by the patriarchy. Transgendered people throughout history assumed special
roles suited to their unique abilities, many of which were spiritually
oriented. They have been seers and visionaries, healers, celebrants of
ceremony and ritual, officiants who blessed weddings and births and laid
to rest the dead, keepers and teachers of spiritual principles, mediators
between wife and husband, tribe and nation, the human world and the spirit
world.

Primary Values

There are, in fact, strong common themes shared by most of the oldest,
so-called primitive, spiritual world-views. Some of the core concepts
of traditions like Wicca (Old Europe), Taoism (China), many Native American
traditions, and shamanism all over the globe are:

Every "thing" is a living manifestation of Spirit

Harmony and balance between all beings must be respected

The diversity of all life forms is to be honored and celebrated

All beings are divine and enjoy direct access with Spirit.

Let's explore these, in
turn.

The Earth is alive: rocks, waters, clouds, volcanoes, and all flora
and fauna--not to mention the Cosmos of stars and planets. Goddess, in
Wicca and elsewhere, is not separate from the world, nor does she rule
over the world--she is the world, as Spirit manifest. We are all
One organism, One in Spirit.

A contemporary Anasazi Pueblo leader (related to Hopi, the oldest culture
in the Americas) says it this way:

I see a need for my people and for all human beings because of the
way things are today, to go back in time and bring back respect for
one another. The people of (my) pueblo have always had a spiritual
way of life and done things with respect. Aside from what people from
the external societies think about our so-called religion, we do not
call it religion, we refer to it as a part of our spirituality, our
existence. If we ever lose that part of our lives, we will surely perish.
We would become a people within a lost world, at which time there would
be no reason for continuing life in the physical sense. This has been
part of our lives since the birth of our people. Our land is not our
land, we are merely part of the land. We must all, as human beings,
treat each other with respect and more specifically, we must also treat
Mother Earth with respect so that we can all survive in the future.
Please let us all be united and understand each other, for the future
of our children is in our hands.

Living in balance, which now amounts to trying to recreate a lost balance,
is critical. Taoist philosophy has long recognized the importance of
the balance between yin and yang--feminine and masculine
energies. To quote Starhawk, a founder in the Reclaiming movement.

Our relationship to the Earth and other species that share it has
been conditioned by our religious models'. The image of God as outside
of Nature has given us a rationale for our own destruction of the natural
order, and justified our plunder of Earth's resources. We have attempted
to "conquer" Nature as we have tried to conquer sin. Only
as the results of pollution and ecological destruction become severe
enough to threaten even urban humanity's' adaptability, have we come
to recognize the importance of ecological balance and the interdependence
of all life. The model of the Goddess, who is immanent in Nature, fosters
respect for the sacredness of all living things. (Wicca) can be seen
as a religion of ecology. Its goal is harmony with Nature, so that
life may not just survive, but thrive.

Any biologist knows that the survival of a species depends on the diversity
of its gene pool. "The Goddess, like Nature, loves diversity",
says Starhawk. Our transgendered sister Rena Swifthawk taught us that
in Native American cultures, there is a shared belief that "weeds
don't exist". Every entity has a sacred purpose, and no one is to
be wasted Yet all too often in patriarchal cultures, the pressure to
conform is greater than any encouragement to become uniquely oneself--what
Jung called individuation. Transgendered people feel this acutely.

Since Spirit is omnipresent, all beings enjoy direct access with the
divine. Hopi ceremonial chambers, called Kivas, are round and subterranean.
Thc officiants emerge from a tunnel beneath into the center to bring
the wisdom and truth of the Earth. Contrast this with priests of Western
cross-shaped churches who preach God's word from pulpits on high. In
Wicca, there is no dogma, scriptures or sacred book revealed by
prophets or saviors. Each person is responsible for revealing their own
truth. Instruction comes directly from Nature, which is Goddess. "Oneness
is attained not through closing the self, but through realizing it fully.
Honor the Goddess in yourself, celebrate yourself, and you will see that
Self is everywhere". In the Tao te Ching, Lao Tzu reminds
us:

There is no need to run outside for better seeing, Nor to peer from
a window. Rather abide At the center of your being: For the more you
leave it, the less you learn.

It is significant to note that the word Wicca is derived from
the Anglo-Saxon root word meaning "to bend or shape", to shape
the unseen to one's will. This supports the notion that we, as divine
agents, have the freedom to shape the material world we inhabit. Transgendered
people are exercising this freedom when we reshape our bodies, via cosmetics
or hormonal therapy or surgery, to suit Spirit. We take responsibility
for our own manifestation.

Another commonly shared aspect of ancient spiritual practice is shamanism.
Shamans the world over have developed and practiced remarkably effective
techniques to achieve and maintain well-being and healing for themselves
and others of their communities. With a foot in each world, the shaman
intercedes on behalf of the ailing earthbound patient with the world
of helping spirits. One of the standard prerequisites to being called
to the shaman's path often involves being transgendered. Kate Bornstein
states:

My ancestors were performers'. In life. The earliest shamanic rituals
involved women and men exchanging genders. Old, old rituals life
and death stuff. We're talking cross-cultural here. We're talking rising
way way way above being a man or a woman. That's how my ancestors would
fly. That's how my ancestors would talk with the goddesses and gods.
Old rituals.

Balance Lost

With the advent of the Bronze Age about 5,000 years ago, wave upon wave
of nomadic Kurgan (Asian) warriors on horseback began displacing the
peaceful agrarian 30,000 year-old Goddess cultures throughout Europe
and the Mediterranean. Whereas, "the central religious image (had
been) a woman giving birth and not, as in our time, a man dying on a
cross", Riane Eisler explains, "in this new reality that is
now said to be the sole creation of a male God, the life-giving and nurturing
(qualities have) been displaced by the power to dominate and destroy".

The old values, the old balance were upset, and the old pattern of partnership
and egality succumbed to the system of domination and hierarchy. This
creates suffering for all, as Starhawk notes:

The oppression of men in Father God-ruled patriarchy is perhaps less
obvious but no less tragic than that of women. Men are encouraged to
identify with a model no human being can successfully emulate: to be
mini-rulers of narrow universes. They are internally split, into a "spiritual" self
that is supposed to conquer their baser animal and emotional natures.
They are at war with themselves: in the West, to "conquer" sin;
in the East, to "conquer" desire or ego. Few escape from
these wars undamaged. Men lose touch with their feelings and their
bodies...

Since Goddess culture has persisted "underground" these last
five millennia, manifestations of Transgender Spirit must be viewed to
some extent in relation to patriarchal oppression. Thus, what may appear
at times to be negatively charged may be perfectly justifiable as a reaction.

The repression and persecution of transgendered people during this period
has taken many forms, and is undeniably linked with the subjugation of
women and the values of Goddess. A persistent and well-documented Biblical
agenda has been to "cut down the groves" (sites of pagan worship)
and to "establish dominion over Nature". Medieval Europe was
infamous for burning witches, who were often Wiccan. Joan d'Arc was burned
for dressing and acting as a man. When European explorers like DeSoto
came to the Americas, they discovered transgendered shamans and, naming
them berdache (boy prostitute), fed them to their dogs.

Within this climate of repression, gender-variant people claimed other
ways of expressing their truth. In defiance of patriarchy, many found
ritual self-castration (e.g. rites of Cybele and Attis) as a way back
to Goddess in Transgender Spirit. Yet in subjugation, many also (such
as the Hijras of India) have practiced prostitution and begging. The
traditional caste systems of India and variations elsewhere may accommodate
protective cloisters, but have failed to promote active integration of
gender diversity within their culture.

To this day, the existence of transgendered people is despised, denied
and trivialized. Transsexual Sandy Stone writes:

...one of the ways that people justify oppressing people of any alternative
gender or sexuality is by saying that the social norm is natural. In
other words it comes from God, an authority to which there is no appeal.
All this is, in fact, a complete fabrication, a construction. There
is no "natural" sex, because "sex" itself as a
medical or cultural category is nothing more than the momentary outcome
of battles over who owns the meanings of the category. There is a great
deal wider variation in genetics than most people except geneticists
realize, but we make that invisible through language...by having no
words for anything except male or female. One of the ways our culture
erases people is by not having any words for them. That does it absolutely.
When there's nothing to describe you, you are effectively invisible.

TV talk shows and the mass media have done much to exploit and trivialize
transgendered people and our spirit. And while crossdressers like Ru
Paul or Lady Bunny of Wigstock, plus films like "Priscilla Quecn
of the Desert" or "To Wong Foo..." are currently in vogue,
there is a backlash building within ultraconservative factions of society.

Might this backlash be like a dinosaur flailing its tail in its death
throes? Will there be a critical mass of new consciousness and a paradigm
shift? There is increasing evidence that the patriarchy is in decline,
and that a renewal of spirituality is emerging. There are many bridges
out of traditional space being formed by writers like Matthew Fox, Patricia
Reilly and Paul Smith. There are many other examples of Spirit reasserting
itself, not the least of which is the so-called New Age movement. Themes
of feminism, consensus, ecology and spirituality are recreating the balance.
Our need to evolve beckons from this threshold.

As the pendulum swings, Goddess is returning. Many masculine-to-feminine
transgendered people share this momentum and are committing their lives
to personifying the struggle. Many feminine-to-masculine transgendered
people are also striving to bring the best of womanhood into a new sense
of what it is to be a man. This long forbidden cross pollination of gender
has the potential to enable all of us to become more fully human. Therefore,
just as women are reclaiming their connection with the divine, transgendered
people are reconnecting with our own rich spiritual heritage and reclaiming
sacred space.

Transgender Spirits are Circling

Transgendered people in the West started gathering only 3-4 decades
ago. Initially, issues of gender, sexuality and fetish were confused
due to cultural context. But support groups formed and, in the early
1980's, international networks and conventions formed across the landscape.
Many topics have since been addressed, including the recent introduction
of Transgender Spirituality. This became most pronounced in 1991 when
Rena Swifthawk shared her Native American Spirituality at I.F.G.E.'s
convention in Denver, and transgender spirits circled months later at
the first Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta. Circles have continued
at both these annual events and are catching on elsewhere like Fantasia
Fair at Cape Cod--the oldest of transgender festivals.

The first intentional Transgender Spirit Circle, following 3 years of
national networking, was the Kindred Spirits Circle in Hot Springs, NC
in August of 1993. True to spirit, many others have since convened: Pink
Moon Gathering, Full Circle of Women, Union of Spirits, Mountain Spirits,
and no doubt others that were less publicized. There is currently a retreat
center taking shape in the mountains of Western North Carolina to address
such issues year-round, called Kindred Spirits.

Transgender Spirits Circling within the Transgender Community is a rather
recent and still controversial phenomenon. Many transgendered people
practice traditional religions or have yet to find a spiritual life.
But the longing for true community is universal. As Starhawk so beautifully
expressed:

We are all longing to go home to some place we have never been., a
place, half-remembered and half-envisioned we can only catch glimpses
of from time to time. Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom
we can speak with passion without having the words catch in our throats.
Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light
up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into
our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to
do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when we falter.
A circle of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be
free.

Our circles to date are rather modest in scope, yet they are proliferating.
They are intimate and affordable, and intense in their ability to heal
and empower. The sharing and nurturing that is possible between kindred
transgender spirits is unlike any other. It is characterized by intuitive
connection, trust, honoring individuality, operating in consensus, spontaneity,
minimal expectations, open hearts and minds, and no hidden agendas. While
various therapeutic methods, shamanic techniques and any number of spiritual
traditions can be utilized, the main feature of the process actually
seems to be simply getting out of the way so that Spirit can move
through. Traditional approaches can lend a foundation and validity, but
we must also self-authorize by acting intuitively. As Goddess would say, "all
acts of love and pleasure are my rituals".

Spirit Transcending Gender

The Transgender Spirit transcends the simplistic cultural dictum that
anatomical sex is synonymous with gender expression. Gender should never
be polarized. It is a rainbow that is far too splendorous in its diversity.
The expression of one's whole gender must be intuitive, fluid, and in
a perpetual state of becoming. There can be no rules to govern how Spirit
must manifest. Widespread occurrences of hermaphroditism in plants, animals
and humans provide graphic evidence of Spirit expressing its diversity
beyond the cultural constructs of bipolar gender. Transgendered people
embody this Goddess-spirit of diversity integrated as one, whole being.
The inner healing (which means "to make whole) that we achieve
can be outwardly applied to the imbalance and distress that surrounds
us. We can serve as a bridge between polarities to help restore balance,
integration and wholeness.

Some Native American elders believe that there is an abundance of transgendered
people being born at this time who can help heal our world. Gender is
at the very heart of who we are as human beings. Our gender transitions--the
very process of gender-shift -- can be viewed as a kind of Vision Quest,
addressing that age-old question: who are we? To transcend gender
stereotyping is to dare to be fully oneself, fully human, as Spirit intended.
We must all cultivate our full capacities if we are to effectively meet
the critical challenges of our time. But before we can help heal our
world, we must heal ourselves. We must tell our truth, refashion old
myths, and reinvent the tools we need to operate in today's world with
deep compassion and fresh relevance.

I used to see my spiritual path as being very ascetic, having been taught
that the sensuality and "frivolity" of my transgender was contrary
to Spirit. All I thought I needed was a blanket and a bowl of water on
a mountaintop. However, as I heeded the irresistible call of my transgender,
I was delighted and surprised to discover that it provided the very "grounding" I
needed. As Goddess came alive through me, I became more whole. Spirit
and flesh, heaven and earth, became one. My lifelong experience in wilderness
and love of Nature provided the foundation for this healing. I had wasted
years waiting to feel worthy of the inscrutable wisdom of esoteric teachings,
until I realized who my teachers really were, and that I was as ready
as I would ever be to act from my own awareness. The challenge is to
respect ourselves as caring and capable people. Increasingly, we trans-gendered
people are awakening and intuitively finding our own voices and callings,
despite the prior deprivation of our history, history, or a sense of
our own community. says,

Once Spirit and Flesh are consciously joined, there is grounding, there
is exaltation there is balance. Once the need to polarize and separate
relents, barriers fall away and fear gives way to love. As Starhawk says,
wrote:

All began in love; all seeks to return to love. Love is the law, the
teacher of wisdom, and the great revealer of mysteries.

To transgress the arbitrary boundaries of gender is to honor the potential
of Spirit. In the Tao te Ching, Lao Tzu wrote:

One who has a man's wings
and a woman's also
Is in himself a womb of
the world
And, being a womb of the world,
Continuously, endlessly,
gives birth ....

We are deities. We are Spirit
manifesting in human forms. Let us live that truth, and help everyone
see the beauty and strength that lies beyond the constraints of
gender. And let us give thanks for the unique opportunity to do so.