A Farewell Letter to Fear

I’ve decided that it’s time for you and me to part ways. You’ve been a controller in my life for years, and frankly, I’m over it. You never bring anything good to me. In fact, I came up with an acronym for you, Faith Erased And Removed. I tell people all the time “you can’t worry and pray”, yet I do it almost every day. I’m a hypocrite, and I don’t like it.

You’ve probably noticed a change in me. I’ve been seeing Faith regularly again, and I’m ready to cut ties with you altogether and be solely with Faith. I’ve been going with the two of you, and lots of times, it seems you would win out over Faith. I don’t think it ever really bothered you to share me with Faith because to you having any part of me is just like having all of me. Faith, however, shouldn’t have to share me with you. Faith offers me so much more than you do and brings me a peace and joy that you never have and never will be able to give me.

I know you’re thinking you’ve known me longer than Faith. You’ve been with me longer than Faith. You’re absolutely correct, Fear. You’ve been with me for as long as I can remember. When I was a little girl you had me scared to sleep in dark rooms or be around people or in situations that were unfamiliar to me, no matter how safe they were. You told me monsters were out to get me even when my parents told me there was no such thing. When I was a teenager, you made me timid and shy. I didn’t want to look different or be different because you convinced me if I did I would be shunned and friendless. As a young adult, you convinced me that what my parents didn’t know wouldn’t hurt me or them. As a result, I abandoned some of the very values that I was taught based on the anxiety of not being accepted. As an adult, you manifest yourself in my job planting thoughts of doubt in my head. If the wind blows too hard against the door, I’m convinced someone is trying to come in. I’ve lived in my house for 15 years, and I’ve never even been in my attic because of you. I’ve even fought starting this blog for over a year thinking I’d be judged or ignored because of you. You’ve crippled me far too long, and I’m over it.

You are the biggest inhibitor to my prayers and dreams. II Timothy 1:7 says that God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind. Today I’m determined to take back my power. Today I’m determined to recapture my sound mind. Today I’m determined to live, laugh and love and be loved without you, Fear. I’m going to try things without being afraid that I’ll fail. I’m going to let down my guard and love without wondering and pondering if I’m going to get hurt. I’m going to stop hiding my mistakes and past failures rather than sharing them and how I overcame them thinking I’ll be judged. I’m going to stop saying yes to things and “going with the flow” just so that I can avoid the pressures and anxieties that come along with being misunderstood. I’m going to stop lying and keeping secrets in an effort to avoid hurting others because the truth can always be told in love.

I do want to thank you though, Fear. If you didn’t have me so saddled, I may not have sought out Faith. If you didn’t have me so bound, I may never have taken the time to really get to know Faith. See my parents introduced me to Faith, but a relationship with Faith is one that you have to pursue and seek out on your own. Faith is always standing by waiting to pick up the broken pieces that you leave, Fear. Yet, Faith never forced its way into my life. Faith waited for me with open arms when I was ready to leave you. Faith doesn’t judge me or recount the elements of my past to keep me from pursuing the things of my future like you do, Fear. No, Faith is honest, just and fair. Faith offers me a clean slate to start anew. So, today, I bid you farewell, Fear. I pray that you don’t take up residence in the lives of those I love when you leave here. For those that you’re already in a relationship with, I pray they find a way to break up with you and start a relationship with Faith too. You’re no longer welcome here.

THE APOSTLE PAUL SAID; WITHOUT ARE FIGHTINGS, WITHIN WERE FEARS. There is a healthy life saving fear called, THE FEAR OF THE LORD, it’s the beginning of wisdom. But the fear of man bringeth a snare. It’s natural for fear to grip us as we see violence so virulent and wickedness all about us, but as we seek God, He comforts us with His Word being quickened to us by the Holy Spirit, reminding us that all things are working together for our good,

Carmen: Thank you for sharing this wonderfully written break up letter. Both it and your timing are perfect! I needed to hear this today, and to really feel the truth behind your words, in order to move ahead in my life. Not going to let fear cripple me anymore; well except for spiders. I’m still not cool with those guys. Take care and thanks again.