Thursday, February 23, 2012

I Know, I Know: And This is Way Too Much Personal Information, I'm Just Warning You

I know, I'm like short an entire weigh in post and you know I can use this blog thing for something besides a weekly weigh in. The thing is, I got really sick. I know, I just was sick. I got over my cold and husky cough and then I was hit with the worst stomach issues imaginable. I tried ever thing google could tell me to do and nothing worked. I went to the doctor's yesterday who was like, "odd, usually these things last a couple days and you've had this a week now. That's so odd. BTW there's nothing I can really do for you." He did give me a prescription for Imodium and the thing is I didn't need Imodium, I welcomed needing Imodium. I was praying for some sort of release, if you know what I mean. My stomach was in complete knots to the point where I was having trouble sleeping. But hey, it cost me $50 co-pay to have a doctor give me a unnecessary prescription and tell me homeopathic remedies was bullshit (thank you by the way, peppermint tea is gross!) and for me to take that prescription anyway and have my first night of full on sleep in days, I'll take it. My diet is so bland now I might as well be an 80 year old man but I think the worst might be over.

I was certain it was IBS or spastic bowel (google doctor) but my doctor seemed sure it was some sort of virus that was having its way with me. Maybe my immune system was shot from a terrible 3 week cold and then to follow with a stomach virus was too much. I have no idea. But I was so bummed and lost thinking I had IBS, there is no cure, notice from my lack of prescription remedies, and I felt so hopeless, I really felt like what if I stayed like this, how was I going to survive, how could I live with constant stomach cramping, every day all day and all night, with no relief anywhere, not even passing gas?

I also thought maybe this was brought on by stress. I have stress, oddly enough, crazy stress that people walk around with when their husband owns a small business and they do the books, but gee whiz, I've had stress WAY WAY worse than this, I was once 3 weeks from foreclosure. I answered the door when a sheriff gave me the notice. I know stress and I've never had any sort of issues like this.

Maybe it's because I'm 40. I wouldn't think things would have sudden onset but, get this, I woke up one morning and ever single item with print on it is too freaking small. I can't read anything anymore. I refuse to wear bifocals, dammit. I was just trying to read a bottle of aspirin for dosage and was doing the old person pull it back and forth in front of my eyes until I could read it (I know aspirin is bad for my stomach, migraine trumps all). I just don't recall this problem back in September when I was 39.

If it was stress and my stress was somehow lightened by deep meditations and thinking of the white light going into my stomach (hey, thanks again, google), I found out today my brother's wife is pregnant again. They emailed me!!!! Thank you Jesus! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I guess my reaction horrified them last time, I don't care, just thank you for emailing me. I was able to write a very appropriate response and spend the afternoon private feeling sorry for myself. Hey, it's better than feeling sorry for myself in public. No one wants that. And I'm happy to report, NO TEARS. No pulling over on the drive home and wailing my brains out in an abandoned gas station while my husband comforts me with sure we have $10,000 to drive to New Jersey for egg donation sure we do, honey...