The bestselling author wrote nearly 50 novels, including "Get Shorty" and "Freaky Deaky," and solidified himself as a popular crime writer. Judging from Leonard's list, he'd want me to skip the prologue about his life and get right to the
writing advice.

So, here we go:

1. Never open a book with weather.

This is a good tip for conversations, too. I avoid conversations when I overhear people chit-chatting, "The weather's great," "Looks like rain," and/or
"It's so hot out." What makes a good story is that it takes you away from all that blah, blah, blah. Leonard says, "If it's only to create atmosphere, and
not a character's reaction to the weather, you don't want to go on too long." Al Roker might disagree.

2. Avoid prologues.

All that intro stuff is going to bog down your reader (especially if you're stuck on the weather). Get to the heart of the story—quickly. He's OK with the
prologue in John Steinbeck's "Sweet Thursday," but that's because the main character is making valid points about what makes a good story. Plus, Steinbeck
coins the word, "hooptedoodle." You can't go wrong with hooptedoodle.

Leonard said you're "allowed no more than two or three per 100,000 words of prose." A story riddled with exclamation marks makes you sound like a
third-grader. Instead, use a semicolon; that will impress everyone.

6. Never use the words ''suddenly'' or ''all hell broke loose.''

"This rule doesn't require an explanation," Leonard said. I agree.

7. Use regional dialect, patois, sparingly.

I used to write for my hometown newspaper in southern Indiana. The best quote I ever got (and I can't even remember what the story was about) was, "It
feels like you're watching NASCAR in the sky." Ahh, that's great. But if I started writing the way everybody talked to me, it would be a disaster. Leonard
says, "Once you start spelling words in dialogue phonetically and loading the page with apostrophes, you won't be able to stop." Yee-haw. (I wanted to put
a half-dozen exclamation points at the end of that, but I stopped myself—suddenly.)

8. Avoid detailed descriptions of characters.

One main reason why books that are made into movies turn out so badly is that as a reader you had all these ideas in your head as to who each character was
supposed to be (well, except for Colin Firth in "Pride and Prejudice"—he did just fine.) In "Hills Like White Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway,
Leonard says the reader sees "the couple and know them by their tones of voice, with not one adverb in sight."

9. Don't go into great detail describing places and things.

Same as the above. Keep it simple, and let the reader's mind wander, "unless you're Margaret Atwood and can paint scenes with language or write landscapes
in the style of Jim Harrison," Leonard said.