Are you sure it wasn't me ole auntie you was smellin' in that wine? I went to a seance and the medium told me she was still alive in one of them bottles, but he could not identify which one.

Maybe if I'm lucky I could buy a product that is the reverse of Vacu-vin--perhaps we can call it Evacu-vin!--and then when I pump it me aunt will come popping out so's she could tell me what it was like to swim at the bottom of a bottle of Burgundy, which is a fantasy I used to enjoy as a youngun', until I discovered Willie Gluckstern and Riesling...