The Smelliest of the Known Alligators

Mother’s Day is approaching. So I thought, why not couple that with the mother of all legends of New York City’s underground dwellers… I mean sure you’ve got your giant rats and feral eyeless cave people… but something has to be the top of the food chain down there, and legend has it this guy and his brethren have been terrifying sewer workers and eating the homeless and runaways for going on 100 years now! And it turns out we get to blame Florida which is always a plus!

The legend goes thusly… back in the 1920s, as unusual as it seems, New York city actually held families within it’s bounds. And not just families but well off families with spoiled children who liked to vacation in Florida (think a young Logan Huntzberger but in knickers and a newsboy cap).

Anyways if you’ve ever been to Florida you know it’s nothing but alligator farms, sea sponges and all you can eat seafood. So the options for souvenirs are limited and what you ended up with was family after family bringing home baby gators, getting tired of said baby gators and flushing them down the toilet. Now what happened next is a bit up for debate. If you were to subscribe to the 1980s movie format it was the fault of growth hormone laden rats, but I like to go simpler and just say when you put an apex predator in a location with seemingly unlimited food… You’re gonna get some big gators.

And suddenly brave adventurers, runaways, underground parkour enthusiasts… pretty much anyone with any business being down there, started saying they were seeing big ass gators in the sewers, some were albino, some were eyeless, some were mutated to barely be gator at all, (you have to imagine there is literally, some caustic sh*t down there). Couple those stories with the quantity of people who disappear mysteriously in a big city and you’ve got yourself a legend that has stood the test of time… And now my friends, it’s your turn to illustrate it!

Well dammit! I didnt know until now but spiral poop hair tied together with Lenon glasses are kind of hilarious. And his lil smirk of a smile and adorable lil sewer footsies ain’t hurting neither!

Judge’s Commentary – So soft serve poop spiral for hair or not, this one feels like it has oceans of patience and tells a damn fine story… and this being mothers day and all I think those are important traits to applaud!

“The fancy mustache is there to indicate that he’s a rare Parisienne sewer gator.” – Just so you know I would have known he was a fancy Parisienne gator without the glorious ‘stache, but I will also be the first to tell you that i think it certainly adds a certain pinache… though i swear that toilet handle has made me think its the stay puffed man’s hat like three times

Judge’s Commentary – Cause while he’s French, he still reminds me of Chef Boyardee! And dammit if a young me didnt love some Beefaroni! Also for the extremely long toof filled snout!

Here’s a lil note to the future… whoever eventually remakes “Empire…” make the mynocks in the giant space worm look like tiny flat faced sewer gator rays please… they’re really only on screen for a second or two and there are at least 13 folks I know who would appreciate it…

Judge’s Commentary – So mostly I think it’s just cause it makes me hunger for knowledge… knowledge of what the hell this adorable thing is!

Oh no it’s the Harry and the Henderson’s style “Go away! We never loved you…” scam! Don’t you believe it lil adorable soon to be sewer gator! They’re just trying to justify being unfeeling asshats… You will go forth and prosper… I’ve heard in Australia, flushing alligators rotate the other way! Ha!

while adorable as hell, I have to admit upon first viewing, the layout was was breaking my mind… I mean I get that it’s a cutaway but I think it’s the fact that the sewer cap holder (otherwise known as a pipe) wraps around him into forwards space… anyways it work perfectly if he’s just strapped into a cardboard backed toy package with a picture of the layers of city on it… so let’s just go with that!

Haha! Man I was not the level of spitball practitioner that could tell you how fast and what angle this dude is gonna go when the pressure gets to be too much… but I can nearly guarantee it’ll be one hell of a mess when it hits what it does! And why are fat things stuffed in pipes so funny to me?

Or do you only think you think and in fact you aren’t because… well in this instance you aren’t because future you has already been eaten by a giant sewer alligator… All that being said, one would think that even blind sewer neanderthal feet must be able to differentiate between murky bottomed sewer and a hellmouth no? Regardless I want that rat!

So my buddy cody n I were trying to figure who exactly first combined top hats with goggles… I mean we know steam/apocalypse punk took it from industrial and ran… but it really is just kind of a fun look… And some jobs just require the respect a top hat inspires combined with the eye protection of a human cannonballer…

“I got ’em you guys!” – Now did you learn nothing from Mr Rogers!!! this is why the world invented chewing gum… put a lil on a string or a stick and not only do you get to keep your hand but odds are the gator will appreciate the bright, non sewer-like flavoring of say wild grape… btw if i rotated this guy wrong apologies, this just made the most sense to me.

Haha Yes! the self applied first place badge got me! well that and the fact that I can tell we’re about the same age as there are basically to things i associate with NYC, Cro Mags and Woody Allen… And I’d pretty much forgotten about woody allen… ha! Funny to note (or terrifying if you want to read something into it) that a recently molested, tearful beast seems to be a recurring theme here…

“here’s a stinky NYC gator for ya!” – So you know what’s funny, one of the first things I had to do at PB forever ago was shoot a ton of overstocked crap that they wanted to clear out on their auction site… I swear 3/4 of it was a Haring print of some sort… on ties, on shot glasses, or on prints of Haring prints! I always thought his squiggles looked like stink lines too!

“I think a good 25% of my mythical beasts are based off Hanna Barbera characters. And I don’t have a problem with that…” – I have a hard time imagining that anyone (who’s not just a dick) would have a problem with that, I mean Wally did have that crazy chanting rhyme to start his theme…wallygatoristhegreatestnavigatorintheswamp… I mean change “swamp” to “bronx” and you’re gold… plus it could be way weirder they could be all Garfield based

Well he’s adorable! So if the pencil thin mustaches meant rare parisienne gator does the mussled tufts of seanbeast beard make this one a euro puppetmaking gator? Who’s potentially swimming inside a much larger sewer whale? Hard to know if it’s just the jean shorts or actually the swimmy action but there’s something about teh back legs and raised brows of joy that I’m kinda loving

Oooh it’s possible we’ve got a contributor with a recurring case case of the late entries… but hey, if you wanna draw an alligator with a very stack of folded towel looking belly, happily eating poop, I’m not gonna stop ya…