Britain’s schools have refused to apologise for depicting the parents of Baby Jesus in their nativity scenes as a spoiled brats who are probably ferried to school in a fucking Range Rover, it has been revealed.

Primary school teacher and school nativity “director”, Becky Dinting, 31, said: “Every year we cast the saviour of mankind’s parents ‘this year’s monsters’, if we’re being honest about it. Joseph is normally some long haired boy with a ‘quirky’ name, because of course, whose pushy Mum sends out gift lists to other parents before her kid’s birthday party. I won’t have to talk to her, will I?”

Beaming mother, Janet Hayes, 29, said of her son’s casting: “Honestly I envy other parents whose children aren’t as talented – practicing his lines has really cut into his snowboarding classes. He said he just wanted to be a sheperd “to look after all the sheep”, but I’ve told him he’s capable of so much more. Alright Hugo, come in and practice your lines with Mummy now.”

“But don’t you want to do it for Mummy?”

Miss Hayes wouldn’t be drawn on whether the practice would continue, and only added: “You do realise it’s just a matter of time before there’s a little ‘Miley’ cast as Mary, don’t you? That can’t end well for anyone.”