I think Yankees fans are horrible people: selfish, arrogant, profane, and miserable all at once. But at least they don’t attempt to hide their repulsiveness. At least there isn’t this deliberate, “Oh, we’re not like those OTHER fans” fakeness that OOZES from the Cardinals and their acolytes. Wanna know who you really are, Cardinals fans? You are… poorly disguised Yankees fans in ugly Christmas sweaters carrying a Jell-O mold to your neighbor’s door. And your constant attempts to turn every October into an extended production of Our Town makes me want to hang myself with a extension cord.

According to the New York Times, officials in the Cardinals front office are suspected of accessing the Astros’ network by using the login credentials of Jeff Luhnow, Houston’s general manager. Luhnow formerly worked for the Cardinals and apparently did not change his password when he switched clubs in 2011.

At the request of the Astros, the FBI investigated the breach and traced it to a home where Cardinals officials had lived. The Cardinal Way indeed!

Via Sports Illustrated.

The FBI is still investigating the incident, and no suspects have been named. But expect the Internet pile-on to be swift and fierce… and fun!