There are a million and one ways to go, but is it how you go or the fact that you’re gone that’s the most important?

Getting run down and or run over by a transfer truck is not an advisable activity. Of course in the event you did find yourself in this situation it’s almost certain you didn’t exactly plan it. Unless of course you were trying to commit suicide by transfer truck. Which is not advisable due to the unpredictability of the effects of being hit by a transfer truck, which may not prove to be fatal. Just really sucky. Whether planned or not there’s no real way to prepare oneself for being struck by a transfer truck. But if you weren’t planning it at what point would you realize it had happened? The initial impact? Or if you survived that, would the thought of “Oh, I was just hit by a transfer truck!” cross your mind in your final moments as you went under the bumper?

On the other hand, skydiving is a planned activity, though it defies the basic logic of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane that is not broken. If the plane were broken then it wouldn’t be skydiving, it would be called something else. Whether skydiving or something else, if your parachute doesn’t open then it will suck. This is much different than being struck by a truck, this you can see coming. Would that make it better or worse to know your inevitable fate or would it be a plea for hope till the moment of impact?

Of course even if your chute opens that doesn’t mean the landing’s going to be pleasant. What if you got blown off course and landed in the tiger pit at the zoo? Or blown out over shark infested waters? Both these things have happened and it sucked for the people it happened to. One can assume that though parachuting into an animal attack would add to the horror, being attacked by wild animals would be a horrific way to go in itself. Would it be better if it was just one big animal that took its time in mauling you or a bunch of little animals with rabies? When fate lingers does it make things easier to accept or in that moment do we see release and wish for the end?

Falling to your death from a building or something falling from a building onto you, does it make a difference? Being hit by a car or being in an automobile accident, does the change in perspective effect the outcome? It’s all relevant and yet irrelevant in that instant it takes for it to happen. The perception of the observers and onlookers (if there are any) will linger for perhaps years to come. That of the one being observed and on-looked, not so much so.

Quick, obvious and instantaneous aside, what about those who are in for the long haul? Terminal illness, comatose or just old age. Those who linger because life’s not ready to let them go and death is too eager to let them know it’s there. They see the end, know it is coming and in some cases consider themselves “ready.” That’s morbidly funny. How can you be “ready” for something you’ve never experienced and anyone who has can’t tell you what to expect? It seems regardless of one’s assumed readiness, preparedness and acceptance that this is the one thing that comes as a surprise to everybody.

So does it matter how we go or is the fact that we are gone testament enough? Neither matters because we have no control of the how and after we’re gone our awareness of the fact will expire with us. All we can do is live until. There are a million and one ways to go but you only get one. So make sure the life that precedes that one has been one worth living. Because when it’s over it won’t matter to you.

Geez what a morbid downhearted subject. Sheesh dead, dying and the inevitable end of it all. OK, well next week let’s talk about bunnies with firearms or challenge Webster’s Dictionary to a literary duel. Think I’ll take some tums and have a lie-down; all this dark talk’s given me gas.

I welcome all questions, comments, and column suggestions, via Focus, or e-mail me at my new email address– wanderingchainsaw@gmail.com