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People often assume the government would collapse during a zombie apocalypse... Thousands of vacent, empty people, standing around, doing nothing in a state of indecision, with no purpose... Then, of course, there's the zombies.

RozziDoodles has made the critical mistake of tagging me... Oops... SARC BOMB INBOUND

Okay so this one I prized from the cold dead hands of Nenja-Black but I'm just writing out the questions cuz I don't have time to draw stuff and I have all the drawing ability of a quadruple amputee with turrets strapped to an industrial jackhammer but I promise I'll make it at the very best mediocre without the drawings!

Okay so Nenja's Crack Pairing MemeWrite down the names of 12 people you can tolerate in a random order. They can be from any show/movie/book/impending alien invasion/etc you want, hey, they don't even need to be in the same show.(I used my brain to decide the order and f**k you if you think that ain't random)1. RozziDoodles2. A particularly odd looking potato3. David Cameron (British Prime Minister)4. Osama Bin Laden5. The former Yugoslavian Republic of Macedonia 6. Nick Clegg (British Prime Minister's tea ladyboy)7. Russian President Vladimir Putin8. Barrack Obama9. Hitler10. DELT-411. British Tactical Armed Forces12. WhiskyAre you done yet? Okay, let's get this started...

1) What song would describe 1 and 5's relationship best?Mutually destructive. Legend has it 1 once actually sent someone around to 5's house with a machete and a bodybag. Luckily it was only to chop up and steal all the fruit in their fruit bowl, but 5 never forgave them and now holds 1 as it's arch nemesis.

2) 11 and 4 are playing together in a movie. What movie?"Let me acquaint those brains with that wall"

3) 2 and 9 are a couple. How did they end up together?An excerpt from: "50 shades of spud: 50 shades Fuhrer"He gazed at his lover, his eyes breezing over her soft body, admiring the jacket she had chosen for just this occasion. It had a tear directly down the center exposing her soft cream goods, which ultimately his eyes were drawn to, and he shuddered. His mouth opened in amazement, saliva glistening on his teeth. He needed her, and badly."Mein Kartoffel..."And the rest is historyI just checked the "write a HitlerxPotato fanfiction" item on my 'Things to do' list. I have a weird 'to do' list

4) Both 8 and 12 are fighting over 4. Who does 4 end up with?Probably 11, but he doesn't mind, either one involves a shot.

5) Where did 3 take 6 on their first date?The house of commons. Nick thourght it was so cool! He got to sit at the important bench whilst Dave worked. He wasn't allowed to say anything but it was still an awesome first date!

6) 1 and 6 break up. Why?Accents.

7) What was 7 and 8's first kiss like?... I'll just let this one write itself guys.They have a very nuclear relationship and the kiss was explosive

8) What about 9 and 10's first night together?I do believe 10 and 9 sympathized with each other, because everyone thinks 10 is Dutch and 9 is German, when 10 is actually Flemish and 9 is actually Austrian.

9) Threesome! 2, 3, and 8!Not really sure what to put here since there's no direct question. Am I supposed to describe what it looks like? The reasoning behind it?8 does not like 2. 2 Loves 3. 3 is a potato, but 8's head looks kinda like a potato, so by extension 2 kinda likes 8, but only as a sex object and nothing else, because it's abusive to his real desire, 2.

10) By accident 11 has gotten pregnant. Who is the father?Excessive power and tactical decision making has birthed a baby made of raw military strength and agility.

11) 5 proposes to 12, what's the answer?Probably some intagleable screaming in Scottish, before it pissed itself, fell over and broke it's thumbs.

12) So, finally 7 and 10 are getting married. Who wears the dress?they share a dress; 7 wears the top half, 10 wears the bottom half. It's pink and frolliky.

13) And does anyone have anything to say against this?The UN would probably have something to say. They won't say it because they might be hacked, stabbed with a radioactive umbrella, drink radioactive tea, or be shot crossing a particular bridge in st petersburg. But hey, they were made for each other.

14) And that's it! Any last words before the crack gets to your brain?Roz, please read the terms and conditions before tagging me.

DA! WHAT UP MAH MAN!!!! Srs, come in, lemme show ya mah crib!Yeah, if you just... step over the jet engine blade... Careful, it's sharp...Yeah.. Sorry about that. So yeah, over here you can see, we got the TV... The shiny thing? Oh, that's a compresser stage from a different jet engine. Sorry, the house is a bit of a mess I guess...Why yes, that is a rocket you can see just next to that. Don't worry, it's not loaded. Yeah anyways, next to that we got the subwuffer for out 6.1 sound setup... Kiks up da bass, ya know wot I meen?To the side of that we have a scale model of a much bigger rocket stage. Something to do with the Apollo space mission or something. This was before all of us were born or sumfink I guess.Oh that thing? Yeah don't stand on it, it's really expensive. A micro gas turbine, yeah... Yeah, same kind of thing you see on [link] this except it's experimental and a lot more powerful... Well yeah it's in the living room. Where else would I put it?This is... a THING! It's actually broken in half, so it's no longer worth the £3,000 it would have cost. It's called an NGV bruv, or Noggle Gizzle Vane. Learn up on your thermo and fluid dynamics dude. Wait wait wait bruv careful of theseaslug cruise missile rocket motor. Yeah, that's that thing in the center. Don't worry, there's no fuel in it. It's, like, 50 years old. Still awesome we managed to get 3,000lbs impulse of 180 seconds tho... WAIT WAIT BRAH I GOT SOME MOAR NUMBERS FOR YOU AND YO HOMIES...

Oh okay, you're leaving... You haven't even see the other rooms, but sure thing. We've got a really cool selection of wea- ooh. Okay you're leaving... well Bai.

Okay realtalk here for a second guys

All the stuff you see above is real, from the rocket to the cruise missile engine to the jet engine parts. All have been in service at some point and were residing in my living room yesterday (not anymore, Its not really wise to tell the world when your house is filled with expensive tech so I waited until it was moved to tell you guys). This stuff actually happens kinda often, but only really attracted attention yesterday on an artstream.Why?In short, it's because my job is f**king awesome. In slightly longer terms, we use things like this to get kids attention when we go into schools and do STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering & Maths) activities. One time we did one, oh man we built this air cannon and blew holes in shi- but I digress. The point is we get this stuff to show off to peeps, which is why I'm showing it you guys too. If you've got any questions about the awesomeness on your screen right now or how one gets a job like this, pop them in the comments and I'll get back to you

If you have any requests to conduct STEM activities at your local school (doesn't matter if you're not in England, we do have some people overseas), send me a note and I'll see what I can do.

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Feel free to tag me, but be warned, I will not take you seriously and you will regret itJust wanna talk? Add me on steam: rjsowden

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Profile

Name: TheModeratorAge: 18Sex: HuehuehuehueLocation: BritainWebsite: Looking for 3D models? Check out roestudios.co.uk/project/3d-po…Languages: English (Expert), German, French, Spanish (Novice)Occupation: Design Engineer in Aerospace. Programmer. Sometimes even I don't know.Relaxation: Not my style. If you don't move, you're dead. Perhaps not literally, but, dead in a metaphorical sense.Attitude: Forced ExtrovertQualifications: A few GCSEs. They're the qualifications that british people get when they're 16Aspirations: To be the best. Like noone ever wasOS: Any redhat Linux distro, though Win7 when I have no other optionStrengths: Nothing gets to meWeaknesses: Nothing gets to meLikes: Blades, Bows and Binary Explosives. Also robots and messing with chemicals.Dislikes: People by default. Human nature.Favorite Artist: streetdragon95. Simply wonderful. The stuff he does with the stuff he's given is breathtakingFavorite Setting: Can't decide. I like either places with lots of trees, or nice big industrial workshops.

Got something to ask me? Comments, notes, emails. No matter what it is, I'll always answer. Ignorance is a billion times worse than curiosity.

Interesting Facts

> A human can survive in space without protection for up to 2 minutes (though permanent damage occurs within the first second)> The sharp/dial/hashtag symbol # is actually called an octothorpe> And the pointy up arrow ^ is a sarcastiquote, used to denote sarcastic passages of text, or words to be read in a sarcastic mannor. It's ^Really^ useful.> Humans actually use significantly more than 9% of their brainpower, unlike the urban myth suggests.> You can crack any computer password by using your phone's microphone and some complex analysis to listen to the noise the CPU makes when it processes it.> The cake is a lie> In the UK, it is legal to carry a knife longer than 3 inches in public... If you have a reason to, such as if you are a butcher.> It only takes a maximum of 3 inches to please any woman; they do not even care if it's Visa or Mastercard.> The english word with the most definitions is 'set', and has over 24 different meanings (unlike 'fuck', which has less than 10 officially recognised ones).> You can escape from zip tie handcuffs by using your knee and the levering affect of your arms, rapidly combined to produce a sheer force across the locking feature. This also works on duct tape.

Wait, you wanted interesting facts about ME!?!?Well, it is my profile so that makes sense...Okay, 20 little-known facts about TheModeraotr

> My favorite color is either Black or Light Blue.> I am no longer the german average height for a male.> I don't mind crowds, but if anyone touches me and I don't expect it, I habitually react violently. I once dislocated my friend's index finger because he patted me on the shoulder at a train station.> ... I've got 110% vision, but one of my eyes is slightly lopsided. I haven't decided which one.> I move about a lot. I'm never in the same bed for more than a month at a time> Bed salespeople love me.> I left school and started work at 16.> I published one of my addresses on the internet for anyone to find, but people still ask me where I live.> Sometimes, when it is cold outside, I like to breach out deeply and pretend I am a dragon(getting desperate...)> Some say, that I think entirely in an ancient version of binary. And that if I were confronted with a choice between three objects of similar color, my left ankle would rotate anticlockwise. All you know is, I'm called TheModerator. :iconstigplz: (Top gear fans will get that one)> Whenever I do an endurance challenge, I carry a bag with 5kg of water and give some to those in need along the route.> My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. > Contrary to popular belief, I was not raised by, nor have I ever even seen, a wolf.> I once asked a secruity guard at an airport why he allowed people to fly with LiPo batteries in their laptops, when they could be exploded with enough force to damage the airframe, simply by shorting two terminals. He didn't know.> People often confuse me for the real slim shady; this is due - in part - to my tenancy to stand up during particular music tracks.> I can rap the entirity of Rap God by eminem at a vary high accuracy.> I think that European keyboards are a genetic defect and should be treated as such: Nice and sympathetically, but also secretly wishing it would go away.> When I'm offered 1 free sample of something, I take 2, because I'm a wild stallion that can not be tamed.

Lessons Learnt

Occasionally, something deep and profound happens to me that really does teach me how to do better in life. Something that proved a learning experience for me. And I feel it's only fair for me to make sure you can learn from it too, without making the same mistakes...

> That lady you think is pregnant is just fat. Don't make it awkward.> Brush teeth first, then put on tie.> The tie reflects the person. Clip on ties are stupid, and toothpaste stained ones are much worse.> The only reason to point any weapon at someone is if you have the full intention to fire it.> "It's not that much food" is almost certainly too much food.> Keep your enemies close, so you can figure out what bugs them most.

FAQ

You're a computer hacker!?Ex-computer hacker. I stopped.Why are you a design engineer at 18? Don't you need to go to unive-Nope. So long as you're talented and make yourself known, you can get offered an apprenticeship. Some companies even pay to send you to uni, which is nice, because you don't get any student debt. I'd seriously recommend it to ANYONE. If you're interested in following that route, please, PM me with any questions you may have.You hunt?Yes, since I was 14. I use a recurve bow with a measly 64lb pull strength and some home-made arrows. My knife was an 18th birthday present and I've got about a 10x12 mile rectangle of land where I'm allowed.I'm coming to England! Can we meet up?Sure. I'm not really based in any particular part of the country, so just let me know whereabouts you're going and I'll see if I can make it.What exactly is your job? It seems like a lot of thingsIt is. I'm technically a Component Definition Engineer, which basically encompasses most aspects of component/part/thing design, from the initial conception, to the 3D model, to drawing the technical drawing, to the actual part starting to be machined/made. I'm also responsible for automating parts of that process, plus I do other stuff on the side too.Why do you sound different whenever you speak?Haha. It's to do with where I've been and who I've been talking to. I have Queens English, Yorkshire, Jordie and German accents, but they only become pronounced after I've spent a few days in the location the accent is from. Paradoxically, it's only these accents: I'm very slow at picking up other ones.

TESTING

Favorite visual artistThat guy at the Olympics who did the Pixels around the entire stadiumFavorite moviesHunger GamesFavorite TV showsDon't watch TVFavorite bands / musical artistsAnything OST: Portal, The Hunger Games and World War Z all had very good sound tracksFavorite booksHunger GamesFavorite writersNo PrefrenceFavorite gamesMinecraft, Pokemon (GBA, Yes I still have the SP), A few FPS'Favorite gaming platformPC (I haz steam, ask for SteamID)Tools of the TradeBlender 3D animation Studio, Python, Paint (Kill me), Fujifilm HS10 (Don't hate, its actually a great camera!)Other InterestsArchery, Mountain walking/climbing, Computer Programming, Social Networking, Engineering (Robots and RC planes), Currently employed at an aerospace firm.

Bahahaha, I'm glad I could inspire him. If he gets bored, here are a few more:> Lady Bitchtastic> WankMcMuffin> Knobgobbler> HammerRagger> Fucktruder> PricktasticSpastic> Spunkdump (Okay that one was just plain harsh)> Hypermong

The above insults are for informational use only and in no way reflect the opinion of TheModerator or those around him, TheModerator can not be held liable for any offence caused as these names are generated randomly and so therefore any resemblance they bare to the recipient is purely coincidental. TheModerator does not endorse insulting people without first clarifying that they wish to be insulting and any genuine offense is purely under the decredssion of the recipient. Batteies not included, terms and conditions apply, see in store for details, entrants must be under 16 or over and a full time resident of planet earth

wow, a dick who acts like he's better than everyone else.You're just a shining example of just some ways people can be utter assholes. Acting like you're better than everyone, getting onto people for no reason and even defending the wrong people from the persecution they so rightly deserve."The Moderator", hah, that's a joke. You're just another dumbass in a world full of them. You say you have no faith in humanity, right? You hate people? Well, look in a mirror. I think I'm talking to another piece of evidence that the world is full of idiots.And incase you didn't catch that, I just said you're just as bad as any other bitch or ass in this world. Now have a nice life. And...wait, I wanted to say something else...oh yeah! You're nothing but a troll. :'3

Well, lets see, last time I checked, I haven't> Made false statements pertaining to my personal wellbeing> Made false and unsupported claims and allegations against other individuals. > Stalked an individual with mental disorders> Harrassed said individual for a period of more than 3 months continuously. > Attempted an affair with a minor> Breached DAs terms of useTo name just a few things on this long long list. Not saying I'm above all of you, or even above the majority. But I do know what is right and wrong, and I will endeavour to look after those who have been subject to wrong doing.

I may be an idiot in your eyes, but I'm a respected individual in the eyes of people who actually matter and - without wishing to boast - I have the patents, payslips, respect, credibility, files, certificates and friends to prove it.