There's a distinction between blame, fault and personal responsibility. Many of us were brought up in a blame culture. We were chastised and constantly berated for behaving like err ...kids.

These messages linger in the subconscious and contribute to the health or otherwise of our self concept - how we see ourselves. This can manifest into what we may label - The Martyr Complex. You hear people mutter their internal dialogue "why does this xxxxx keep happening to me?" For others it's Original Sin. Well meaning zealots often impose their beliefs on their children - without the balance of context. The child interprets any deviation from the text to mean they are doomed to a life of guilt.

Language, especially the form it takes when we talk to ourselves has a power to make or break us. When we blame others or indeed ourselves - we disempower ourselves of any solution orientation. In candid terms - "who cares who's to blame or who's at fault?" This is the language of the child.

If your life is unfolding in a manner at odds with your ideal vision, it really is no ones fault. Not yours, not your up bringing, not of the school bullies or the indoctrination of a cult. They merely represent the circumstances that you found yourself mired in.

The past cannot be changed - no amount of blaming or finger pointing or regret will affect the past. Our lives become a self design project from the moment we accept personal responsibility.

Personal responsibility is defined by how we choose to represent what things mean to us. I am responsible for my future vision. I am responsible for the direction of my focus. I am responsible for whom I interact with. I am responsible for the direction of the next step I take in my life.

And of course so are you. When we stop blaming our circumstances, or finding fault with the world around us, the filter on our experience changes - utterly