We took the time to celebrate some of the Best Songs Released in 2018, as well as some of the Best Albums, so now it’s time to place a clothespin firmly on our noses, slip on some elbow-length rubber gloves, and go digging through the cesspool that is radio country to dredge up the absolute worst offenses, hold them up to the light, and laugh our asses off. Save your sermons of why we should be focusing more on the positive. Of course that’s the case, and we do most of the time. But if we can’t register our disapproval and have a little fun in the process, how do we ever expect to save country music?

Overall, mainstream country has probably been improving ever so slightly over the last few years. But there’s still a headlong effort by some to find rock bottom. Here’s a few of them:

Keith Urban – “Coming Home”

Somehow, inexplicably, Keith Urban has figured out how to take the most iconic guitar riff in the entire 70+ year history of country music, and make it sound like the last dying gasps of a faulty smoke detector smacked repeatedly with a sledge hammer, and slowly drowning it in a bucket of 7-year-old used motor oil in someone’s garage. The generically-titled “Coming Home” downright filches the opening riff from one of the sainted Merle Haggard’s signature songs, “Mama Tried,” and spectacularly fails to flesh out anything around it that’s even close to fit for audio consumption by even the most idiotic of indolent and stupefied audiences rendered opinion-less by a cocktail of over-prescribed American designer drugs.

“Coming Home” is supposed to be about home sickness and a yearning for simplicity. Yet the shitty production of this song is about as busy and disjointed as the scene surrounding a fatality accident within a construction zone smack dab in the middle of an urban cloverleaf traffic-snarled clusterfuck during the utmost peak of rush hour with quarter-sized hail raining down from a supercell that a tornado warning has just been issued for.

Unfortunately Merle Haggard isn’t around to put his boot on Keith Urban’s throat while the original lineup of his backing band The Strangers takes turns extinguishing their unfiltered Camel cigarettes on Urban’s scrotum. For the first time since Merle Haggard passed away in 2016, I’m glad he’s gone, so he doesn’t have to hear this. (read more)

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Jake Owen – “I Was Jack (You Were Diane)”

Jake Owen ain’t Jack. And he ain’t no Mellencamp either. It appears the years of prolonged exposure to radioactive bronzer treatments have finally all but officially fried his brain, while the removal of the lovely locks once adorning his head may have cleaved off a few brain cells in the process. All that a mid 30’s Jake Owen is capable of now is rocking casual T-shirts really hard, mumbling lyrics in a monotone dirge, and glue sticking rearranged elements of someone else’s worn-out 35-year-old dusty Heartland rock anthem together like some adolescent making a caterpillar with construction paper.

Yes this song makes me nostalgic. It makes me nostalgic for a time in music when new songs from country artists weren’t complete and utter shite, when people had an original thought and idea when they walked into the studio to record a song, when the best artists of the day were able to compose an original melody, and a song relied on its own guts and expression to steal your attention.

Jake Owen’s new single “I Was Jack (You Were Diane)” ain’t a little ditty, it’s a big ripoff, and a dud. We’ve been saying for years that much of mainstream country is nothing more than warmed-over John Cougar, and here Jake Owen is giving us a glaring example on a silver platter without the need to diagram chord progressions or point out nuances in lyricism. Sorry, but ain’t digging your new Coke. (read more)

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Parmalee – “Hotdamalama”

When you’re a third rail pop country band who was unfortunately named after something that sounds like a frozen treat Dairy Queen would put on sale at $1.99 for a limited time, why not sail your self-respect and dignity down Nashville’s mighty Cumberland River and sell out as hard as you can to scrounge together the very last dying embers of mainstream relevancy before your careers are eventually recycled through the audition rounds of The Voice, stimulating America to let out a collective “Who?” when they try to present you as someone who was previously famous?

Spectacularly relevant to 2014, “Hotdamalama” from Parmalee is the Bro-Country mega hit that never was, served with ragingly misogynistic language and imagery that would get you fired from 95% of 2018 workplaces with no severance and a sexual harassment lawsuit trailing your decommissioned ass out the door.

Cutoffs clinging to her pocketTalking ’bout a home run grand slamalamalama

What kind of mush mouth fuck nutted bullshit is this? You have to put out a concerted effort to make a song this bad. Face it Parmalee, it’s over. Don’t make America pay for your last dying prayers at relevancy that will go unanswered anyway. Take your “Hotdamalama” bullshit and bad haircuts back to Cackalacky, and learn how to sell washing machines or something because you’re finished. (read more)

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Maren Morris – “Rich”

It’s Maren Morris, and a host of now purely pop women like Bebe Rexha, who are most responsible for the worst offenses on the country radio dial at the moment, and not just from the level of non-countryness of the selections, but just a downright immature slavish obsequiousness to materialism, image, and a pop culture trend chasing that makes these songs downright unhealthy for the ears of the masses.

“Rich” is about how wealthy Maren Morris would be if she got paid every time some beau of hers disappointed her. Sure, that may be one method of accruing wealth. Or, you could ride into mainstream country on a promising lead single that seems to pay homage to all the old greats (“My Church”), only to then pull a pop music Trojan Horse sneak attack, sell out as hard as humanly possible by cutting one pop song after another, and then release easily your worst, most embarrassing and monstrous single that straight up rips off the melody of Steve Miller’s “The Joker” to country radio to double your earnings, all the while attempting to shield yourself from criticism by trying to act like a “leader” to open country music up to pop sounds, and pound people with your political beliefs so Nashville’s clique of beltway journalists won’t just defend you, but scream “sexism!” and “mysogyny!” toward anyone who dares question if this music is simply fit for the country format.

Maren Morris is a leader alright. She’s leading country music right into a hellhole malaise of indolent stupidity with songs like “Rich.” Name-dropping Diddy, Prada, and Mercedes, slathering the whole effort in cultural appropriation, pandering to the least common denominator, how can anyone listen to this and somehow defend the effort as anything but a massive play for a handsome payout at country music’s expense? (read more)

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Mitchell Tenpenny – “Bitches”

No. We’re not going here. I’m sorry. Consider this a line in the sand. Consider this an ultimatum. Nobody’s mother is being threatened here, mind you. We’re not veering off the rails or anything. But if there was ever a moment where dramatic action was called for in country music matters, this would be it.

This isn’t just an argument about taste, or classic country vs. contemporary country. This isn’t yet another droning discussion about what is country and what isn’t like the ones that go on forever and ever and never get resolved. This is an issue that should have all the denizens of country music of every shape and form in a tizzy, regardless of their allegiances or sensibilities, and locking arms to not allow the music that we all love take such a significantly degrading step backward.

Yes, let’s take a song that says “bitches” 25 times and turn it into a fucking country music “anthem.” What happened to tipping your hat to the ladies, and the rose of San Antone? You’re tired of “bitches,” Mitchell Tenpenny? Well you just ran afoul of a genuine, Texas-born, single mother-raised, red blooded American ASSHOLE who will pursue you and “Bitches” to the end of the earth if necessary to shield as many ears from this degrading filth so help me God. (read more)

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Jordan Davis – “Singles You Up”

If there was ever a good moment for a well-manicured hipster beard to get unfortunately mangled in a piece of industrial equipment and/or farm machinery, now would be opportune. Or perhaps just an old fashioned dog muzzle could be employed, or a ball gag—anything that will keep this douche nozzle occupied and his mouth incapacitated from performing pop country’s latest pestilence presiding under the name “Singles You Up.”

Who the hell is Jordan Davis you say? Well he’s that pop country guy; you know, the one with the beard. Because how the hell else would you tell him apart for the reams and reams of these generic pop country bros stacked up so thick up and down Music Row you need a cattle guard to get through them? You certainly couldn’t distinguish him due to the uniqueness of this song. He’s just the latest headed to #1 with a hackneyed tune full of urban vernacular and electronic drum beats, trying to take a bro jargon buzzphrase and flesh it out into something fit for human consumption, and stupendously failing.

Jordan Davis gives kick ass beards a bad name, just like his stupid song “Singles You Up” does for country. Leave the beards to the likes of Cody Jinks and Whitey Morgan there champ. (read more)

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Dustin Lynch – “Good Girl”

The name Dustin Lynch is quickly becoming a direct match synonym for derivative bottom shelf white boy culturally appropriating pseudo rap R&B bullshit. Holy shit this is bad. Hanging on the nuts of Sam Hunt, and hoping to exploit the vacuum left since Sam went virtually AWOL from the studio, Dustin Lynch swoops in to lobby for strong consideration as the preeminent hoser in all of mainstream “country,” peddling the worst R&B-infused transparently pandering lowest common denominator schlock.

The only thing more lazy than rhyming “good girl” with “good girl,” is rhyming “good girl” with “good girl” a third time before you’re even allowed to exit the first damn phrase. Throw in a little bit of filched vernacular from the hip-hop world with “yeah you up and took my whole world,” and just the first stanza of “Good Girl” checks off nearly all the boxes of what’s wrong with today’s “country” music.

The fleeting dobro is just a teaser, almost like a trolling of traditional country fans to remind them of what has been torn asunder in country music’s wayward trajectory, while shortly a sound bed composed completely via a computer interface offends the ears, with the Auto-tune plugin close at hand to make the otherwise vocally-talented Dustin Lynch sound like he swallowed an iPhone. Even the guitar solo sounds like it was played on a keytar, or MIDI controller while the composer was wacking off to Tinder profiles.

Backstreet Boy AJ McLean – “Back Porch Bottle Service”

A.J. McLean, listen to me you Backstreet Boy-singing, choreograph-dancing, bad neck tattoo, black nail polish-wearing, interloping, carpetbagging, no talent-having son-of-a-bitch with a receding hairline and a shitty, arrogant attitude, if you think you’re going to waltz right into country music exhibiting the kind of “fuck everyone” candor you displayed on the red carpet of the ACM Awards, you’re about to get a big Waylon Waymore Watasha Jennings size 12 steel-tipped boot right up your dumb ass and an ugly wake-up call that this shit doesn’t fly in by God country music, asshole.

Here’s what A.J. McLean said to Billboard at the ACM Awards.

I am coming in, but I’m coming in to disrupt country. I wanna come in and shake things up. I’ve always loved country…But after we did ‘God, Your Mama, And Me’ with Florida Georgia Line… something just kind of clicked and I just got this overwhelming inspiration to just give it a go.

You know on second thought, screw it. What the hell is A.J. fucking McLean going to be able to do in country music? Sure, have him sign to Big Machine Records, write with a bunch of B-listers, record some Cole Swindell leftovers with busbee producing behind a laptop, and get spit out of the ass end of the industry in 9 months as a laughing stock like Steven Tyler. Sure, give it your best shot. But get ready to take on return fire if you’re going to start the process with this type of arrogant bullshit.

“Meant To Be” is not a good song, but it’s nowhere near as offensive as the songs highlighted above. It did terrible things to country music by being at #1 for 50 weeks, but that’s not the song’s fault.

I’m one of the few Golden Hour fanatics in this here neck of the woods, but High Horse is the one track I *always* skip. I don’t know how Kacey could listen to “Love is a Wild Thing” and think that atrocity belongs on the same record.

I’m just starting to come around on Golden Hour. I had largely blown much of it off as so much yacht rock, but I’m starting to think it’s a nice pop album. As for High Horse, I think it’s OK and will let it play when streaming the album. And I was a rabid anti-disco reactionary back in the day.

Its well-documented here what a huge fan I am of GOLDEN HOUR . I can listen to it on an emotional level or more objectively from a crafting and technical level . I think the song High Horse may fall into the latter camp for me . And as such , its brilliant to my ear . If this was an outright attempt to craft something for pop radio , its been sadly overlooked , IMO , when I consider the severely UNDER-crafted crap on pop radio right now .

Saying that , I can understand this track not being a favourite of most folks and I respect that . But if this song is the worst on the record , I still hold to this being a bar-setting album of beautifully crafted and recorded tunes with a timeless vibe like no other while staying REAL. Its not ‘radio music ‘ , for the most part ,….but neither is what’s actually ON the radio

High Horse is a good track, just not a country track. The song was not released to country radio. Kacey tried to blend genres in her album, and the result was a decent album that was poppy while simultaneously still being more country than 90% of what is on the radio. Contrast this with all the terrible songs we got from the likes of FGL, Luke Combs, etc. and it’s no wonder High Horse isn’t on the list.

May not be your cup of tea but from a critical point of view I wouldn’t include it on this list. The many generic singles on “country” radio fill up the list rather nicely.

I haven’t heard all of those songs but out of the songs I have I completely agree..

Me & my husband really hate Simple by FGL.. I haven’t converted him to bluetooth streaming in his truck yet (almost there) so I am stuck with crappy radio once in a while & that song is always on. Anything FGL releases will be on my personal worst songs list tho

Damn it I accidentally hit play when scrolling duwn on my phone on the Keith Urban abortion.
I’m scarred for life now.I’ll try and not blame Trigger but you should put in a safeguard like if you press play there should be a warning “are you sure you want to hear this shit”

I cannot commend you enough for your selections! I think Keith Urban’s ‘Coming Home’ and Maren Morris’ ‘Rich’ are fingernails on a chalk board. For my money, I think Kacey Musgraves’ ‘High Horse’ should also be on this list. At any rate, GREAT JOB!!!

I had SUCH high hopes for Dallas Smith when he hit the scene …..but he nose-dived just like almost every other act.

Worse right now is what’s happened to Lennon Stella ( Lennon and Maisy from the series Nashville ) These kids were not just amazingly gifted vocally but had carved out a beautiful little niche for themselves with a unique sound . Lennon has just ‘popped-out’ on us recording some forgettable trendy T.S kinda junk trying to cash in I guess . WHY do all of these unique folks who often have a vision of who they want to be musically always end up caving ???
Its boring , tiresome and frustrating as hell ……

Dean Brody was on my radar for a couple of years…like some other canadian acts.
The only songs i bought in 2018 was one by Jess Moskaluke, one by Renegade Station & “Country Music Made Me Do It” by Meghan Patrick.

yeah ….I’m not a fan of the Canadian acts , in general …especially the male acts …..they all seem to be chasing that American pop/r and b/rap groove crap ….trying to sound like an American fake country act . And not even a great country voice in the bunch ….I like the Canadian female singers MUCH MUCH more but the material is stil very weak and poppy .

9/10 Canadian “Country” acts are beyond terrible…. generally their work is not as literally offensive as Trigger’s list…. it is just now worth listening to even if it was not labelled as country. Would argue that Colter Wall and Dean Brody are a couple of exceptions. Thanks for commenting on the albatross that has become Canadian “Country” music. May god have mercy on Hank Snow’s and Wilf Carter’s souls.

Because of the sacrosanct nature of “Mama Tried,” I have to go with Keith Urban’s whatever it’s called for worst song of the year. Even without bastardizing that riff, I would still probably rate it as the worst song. Walker Hayes’ “90’s Country” would be runner up. Every single thing about Walker Hayes makes me noxious.

For me Good Girl is just bad in every area. It’s blah. It’s not catchy. It’s lazy. Dustin Lynch WTF?

I also want to add Sixteen by Thomas Rhett. It’s not horrific, but I’m just so tired of songs being sung to teenagers and young adults. Blah blah blah. It’s definately not Hippie Radio (same topic, a lot better)

At the risk of spoiling my own list, I need to add two more songs to yours:
-Rodney Atkins’s “Caught Up In The Country”: Because nothing says “country” like a disjointed laundry list backed by a synthetic, rave-ready dance track.
-Michael Ray’s “One That Got Away”: Generic sound, unimpressive singer, and the most insufferable attitude I’ve heard in a song all year. Anyone who refers to a woman as “decorating my car” needs to be slapped in the face and tossed into the nearest lake.

Totally disagree..you shouldn’t disregard the fact that these songs are what most of the public likes. That’s what its all about my dear! Maybe we should try and divide the more traditional and newer country. Then everyone can be hapoy!

Not until the so-called newer “country” is rightly regarded as the subset of pop music that it really is. It upsets fans of traditional country because it casts a pestilence upon the entire genre and its history. When we say we like country music, people these days assume we like Florida Georgia Line, Kane Brown and Walker Hayes until we qualify it with “but not the new stuff.” Where I live, there’s one radio frequency where I can regularly pick up both a pop country station and a “rhythmic CHR” (hip hop) station. It used to be possible to tell them apart immediately at first listen. Not anymore.

A Worst of list has at least two benefits: (1) to point out what’s good about the best music and (2) to illustrate how bad music becomes popular not on its own but because marketing and artificially limited distribution channels have created a demand that has nothing to do with the quality of the music.

Yes, it is worth complaining about. Because they cast a pestilence upon the entire genre and its history. Even in the ’90s, the country I grew up listening to may have had its adult contemporary leanings, but those were still songs that told engaging, thoughtful stories, often with a healthy dose of wit in the lyrics. Historically, that was what the popular definition of country music entailed. Now it entails mindless party songs about tailgates, trucks and beer with faux hip-hop beats and the word “girl” repeated 35 times per verse. There’s nothing wrong with mindless party songs except when they take over the entire genre to the exclusion of everything else so that the genre bears little to no resemblance to what it once was. It’s one thing when that happens with pop music; pop music is supposed to be disposable. And there has always been country music that sounds more pop than country. But country music has always had an identity of its own. In the past, there was enough of a true country sound on the radio to balance out the pop influence. Not anymore.

I consider myself lucky to live within range of a station that plays mainly gold from the ’80s and ’90s, although their playlist is slowly but surely creeping younger… I heard “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” the other day. (Yuck.) It may be just a matter of time before they start playing Florida Georgia Line. Sigh…

Most of the songs I thought of ended up on this list (whether the regular list or the Dishonorable Mentions). Though it’s on the Dishonorable Mentions list, I happen to like Down to the Honky Tonk, it sounds like a song that Dierks would have cut.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and can choose what they like to listen to.
I don’t understand the need to be mean and nasty about it.
Let the artists continue to make music and people choose what to listen to.
Let the record sales, downloads and concert ticket sales speak on successful and liked music.
We all have freedom of speech and I am so glad so I can continue to listen to music I love.
I am a very long time fan of country music and have seen many styles change, evolve or stay the same. And its OK to like what you like, but be respectful.

I have certain opinions about music. That fact doesn’t entitle me to any degree of respect. The people who deserve respect are the artists who work hard to create music that both honors the past and forges new, exciting directions.

Musicians who ignore the past and add nothing new disrespect true country artists.

no one disagrees with you nancy . you don’t seem to be clear on the danger this fake country stuff presents to ACTUAL country music’s future and the artists of integrity who commit their lives and talents to it. its simply a case of fairness. no one is actually saying that contemporary mainstream country shouldn’t be heard , recorded listened to and enjoyed , if that’s the music you like . what we ARE saying is that it needs its own genre , platform and awards shows as its more closely related to pop than to REAL country music at this point . its a threat to the existence of REAL country artists who lose exposure and airtime to the the pop artists making a living in the country genre . so now you know what this site and the misson is all about. we support REAL country and not only do we call out what is just BAD music , we call out pop singers releasing music to country radio and actually getting airplay with it

Dustin Lynch’s “Good Girl” is the most basic piece of shit I’ve heard in years. It shouldn’t exist. Worse yet, reading through the YouTube comments associated with the video and seeing this song showered with praise has made me realize that humanity is doomed.

The people playing these songs on country radio should be fired or head on over to pop radio..In the 80s when more singers started to cross over from pop to country or country to pop, who knew it would bring country music down.. Here we are bad music, sung by 50 versions of the same guy singing the same crap.. No women on country radio maybe 3 percent of the total music played are women. I dont listen to country radio they have all sold out..

The idiots who decide what music to play on country stations (typically known these days as Ast. PD/Music Director/Production Assistant, PM Drive Host, plus Sunday 10-2) get some of the blame for the junk we’re told is country these days. These 28 year-old dropouts don’t appreciate or understand country, except through the lens of corporate push down, and their own night out at (fill in the blank ‘country’ bar) that plays dance music, not country. But they leave there after downing six Natural Lights (and leaving no tip) thinking they spent the evening hearing country music! But the TRUE problem was exposed when you ran the article about Charlie Cook that appeared in Country Aircheck in March (link below if you missed it.) Enough said.

wouldn’t it be ironic , sad and , at the same time ,answer a lot of questions if the guy programming all the crappy pop music for a big time radio network was an old school country guy who’d never listened to ANY rock or pop EVER but had the job programming the new stuff from these BRILLIANT ( not ) ‘ artists’ like Carli B , Adam Levine , The Weekend etc… ?

kinda the same Charlie Cook scenario isn’t it ?…. ‘” Its a dirty job but somebody’s gotta do it ”

THIS is top of the pop charts ……poor kids don’t even know what they’re missing thanks to shit programmers ……
Adam Levine’s latest …….10 people credited with writing this …..OMG

Tell me, tell me if you love me or not, love me or not, love me or not?
I’ll bet the house on you, am I lucky or not, lucky or not, lucky or not?
You gotta tell me if you love me or not, love me or not, love me or not?
Been wishin’ for you, am I lucky or not, lucky or not, lucky or not?

Ooooh, oooh Been wishin’ for you
Ooh, ooh Tryna’ do what lovers do (ooh)
Ooooh, oooh Been wishin’ for you
Ooh, ooh Tryna’ do what lovers do (ooh)

Say say say, hey hey now baby
You gonna make me hit you with that lay down, baby (ohhh)
(Ooh) Say say say, hey hey now baby
You know what I need, not the game now baby (oh, ohhh)

Tell me, tell me if you love me or not, love me or not, love me or not?
I’ll bet the house on you, am I lucky or not, lucky or not, lucky or not?
You gotta tell me if you love me or not, love me or not, love me or not?
Been wishin’ for you am I lucky or not, lucky or not, lucky or not?

Ooooh, oooh
Been wishin’ for you
Ooh, ooh
Tryna’ do what lovers do (ooh)
Ooooh, oooh
Been wishin’ for you (wishin’)
Ooh, ooh
Tryna’ do what lovers do (ooh)

Aren’t we too grown for games?
Aren’t we too grown to play around?
Young enough to chase
But old enough to know better
Are we too grown for changin’?
Are we too grown to mess around?
Ooh and I can’t wait forever baby
Both of us should know better

Ooooh, oooh
Been wishin’ for you
Ooh, ooh
Tryna’ do what lovers do (ooh)

Ooooh, oooh
Been wishin’ for you
Ooh, ooh
Tryna’ do what lovers do (ooh)
Ooooh, oooh
Been wishin’ for you (you, oh yeah)
Ooh, ooh (ooh)
Tryna’ do what lovers do (tryna’ do what lovers do,ooh)
Ooooh, oooh
Been wishin’ for you (been wishin’ for love)
Ooh, ooh
Tryna’ do what lovers do (do uhh,ooh)
Ooooh, oooh
Been wishin’ for you (tryna’ do)
Ooh, ooh
Tryna’ do what lovers do (ooh)

I remember listening to Jake Owen’s album release party on XM radio in 2016. The host mentioned that Owen hadn’t had any new music is a while and during that downtime, Owen got divorced. The host said something along the lines of “the divorce must have been a great inspiration for a bunch of new songs.” Owen said, “oh yeah, for sure. But break up and heartache type songs don’t fit my brand so I didn’t really go there with my songs.” Any respect I had for Owen as a country artist died when he said that.

Dear Trigger,
I always love your well-written and usually venomenous comments. Same here. But WHY WHY WHY do you torment yourself by listening to this kind of s*** and then coming up with another sneer or two? I’d rather have you suggesting odd/out of the way/(sort of) weird records (as you often do).
Still,
best regards from
Timon van Heerdt (the Netherlands)

Haha ‘Bitches’ is a parody song right? I’m too old to understand swipe-culture but this makes me sad for my two girls, luckily I haven’t seen any guys like this around them…but I’m sure they have to deal with it.