Mental Health Alert!

It’s come to my attention, that there seem to be an increasing amount of mental health issues popping-up these days, including, but not limited to, “selective memory loss, paranoia, and delusion”. Otherwise healthy and rational human beings, have been coming up with the most extraordinary statements lately, which lead me to believe they must be effected by a highly virulent strain of some mental blockage/malfunction. We may be experiencing a deadly virus far more sinister than the passing cold (and I doubt we’ll be able to have this one analyzed by the CDC).

In recent weeks I’ve actually heard with my very own ears, lifelong Democrats, and rational fence-sitting Republicans, say they are NOT going to vote for Obama! (What the hell does that mean?!)

For some, that means they are actually considering voting for McCain, & more of the failed Republican agenda, which got us into this mess in the first place (re: “selective memory loss”). They reason that the dysfunctional known, is better than the wide-open unknown, and have retreated to the well worn paths of the past. (I suspect the oft used Republican ploy of “paranoia politics” has taken it’s toll here, and these people have finally succumb to it’s oozing, baseless fear.) They’ve lost so much of their happiness in the last 8 years, that they’re reluctant to put any more of their existence on the line, and will try to hold onto the little sanity they have left, with both hands.

For others, they’ve swung their two-cents into the various Independent Parties, reasoning that they have to vote their conscience, … no matter what! (Now this group, though I applaud their basic fortitude and integrity, I’d have to diagnose in the “delusional” category.) In theory, our voting system is set-up to bend to the will of the majority of the people it governs. Sounds good on paper! However in practice, if you split up the majority into numerous separate issue groups, this enables a carpet-bagging minority to slip in the back door, and push their limited agenda on everyone else, … whether we really agree with it, or not. So, though initially well intended, this approach becomes the equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot to avoid future cuticle issues, and their votes will essentially be negated in the ultimate electoral results.

I’ve even heard underlying implications (and a few outright ones), that some just won’t vote for a black man for President. Disregarding that Obama is also 50% white, these people seem to be succumbing to the outdated ethnic opinions and fears of their forefathers’ generation, totally dismissing the fact that if our country were in a world-wide dog show, … we’d definitely be in the ‘Mutt’ category.

I know in normal, everyday life, these people would never treat another human being cruelly, or with unprovoked malice (here’s where we touch briefly on “multiple personality disorder”). But somewhere in the building anxiety over the condition we find our country in, their past rote teachings, of ancient paranoia, start whispering to them. They end up robotically reciting the unwarranted anger, and hatred of someone ‘different’, like a speech you had to memorize in school once, and can’t get out of your head. (*Note: This symptom also borders on “post traumatic stress disorder”, which makes sense, if you consider the last 8+ years our leaders have been holding the population hostage, with their astronomically incompetent decision making.)

Due to the widespread aggravated symptoms I have described above, I find it necessary to issue a nationwide alert at this time! Even if you’re not exhibiting any symptoms of the aforementioned mental health issues, we have all been exposed to this insipid virus, and need to be inoculated. Therefore, we must immediately dispense a massive dose of Sanity and Common Sense to the entire voting populous! (As always, generic doses will be readily available.)

After these people have had a chance to truly ponder their future, without the debilitating constrictions of this mental dis-ease, they too will come to the inevitable conclusion that there is no other choice, if we want to save our beloved country from disaster, and will thank us in the long run.

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