Creepy Easter Bunny Photos

Early Christianity had a classic “habit” of retro-fitting Pagan seasonal celebrations with quasi-literalist Catholic theology, and this has resulted in some truly surreal mashups of cultural traditions.

For example, ritual symbols of fertility and renewal that were intended to honor the Goddess of Spring (who was known as Eostre, Ostare, or Eastur), originally held immanent seasonal meaning. However, these same symbols were eventually stapled haphazardly into a culture-collage of rabbits, eggs, grass, and an undead savior returning from the grave for your soul.

Add contemporary Capitalist opportunism to the mix, and the result is one of the most disturbing manifestations of Christo-pagan-consumerism: the Shopping Mall Easter Bunny. Enthroned like a springtime Santa in a pastel cardboard holiday-land of cellophane grass littered with jellybean droppings, this crypto-pookah has been terrifying generations of children for years.

Some of the other seasonal holy-day mashups retained at least some coolness (halloween costumes & Christmas gifts). But a child sitting on the lap of a giant mall rabbit is right to wonder what this probable Pedo-Furry actually DOES (beyond dispensing baskets full of garish eggs and tooth-rotting marshmallow peeps)?

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These pictures reveal what anyone who has seen Donnie Darko already could tell you: rabbit masks are creepy as fuck. Every one of those bunny outfits on that link are creepier than the creepiest santa any day.