Unmanned Aerial Drones to Deliver Something Besides Death

SEATTLE, WA–Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos announced last night on the news show “60 Minutes” that unmanned flying drones would soon be delivering Amazon Prime packages weighing up to five pounds, giving hope that unmanned aerial vehicles the world over might one day deliver something besides immediate explosive death.

For now, the delivery drones are still in the testing and approval process, but Amazon hopes that the drones might someday remove any need for a socially awkward internet user to leave the house.

For their part, robotics researchers are hopeful that their chosen profession might soon have a brighter direction thanks to Amazon’s flying delivery drones.

“I didn’t get into aerial robotics to kill people,” said Rex Tehrm-Unate, PhD, leading researcher. “I just had all this experience, you know, and well… killing people with robots is where the money is. But hopefully that’ll change.”

Editor In Chief, Founder, and Admiral of Smugness at The Atlanta Banana, Jim Hodgson has an ass for news. Follow him on twitter at @jimhodgson
He is the author of the hilarious Science Fiction novel Dangerous Dan, available now on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback.