Thursday, October 7, 2010

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Magazine for Murray Hill Tourists took shots at the kid today. Its all good, I'm chillin. Fix my glasses baby girl... You got it? Thank you. Ok, so I put on these glasses to give the article a closer look and I see it clearly now. I'ma just break it down like Cornell Notes right now.

"...a cocky pretender to the David Chang throne. But while Chang is a genuine prodigy, Xiao Ye proves that Huang is just a kid with outsize ambitions—and a remarkable knack for grabbing the spotlight."

Besides the fact that we're from the far east coast, why would I be compared to Chang? He drinks PBR, I drink Four Loko. He makes pork buns, I do it better. Why doesn't timeout ask Meehan to compare Noodle Bar in its 3rd month to Xiao Ye in its 3rd month. If you compare us now, it's not even close. He's Hova. Big brother. I'm just tryin to show up at award shows and let Taylor Swift know she ain't all that. But is this city too small for three Asian People? Chang, Huang, Pelaccio? LOL. Only one of us can get money? As for the "spotlight", it aint my fault. Your chick chose me.

"Even by the relaxed standards of the Momofuku age, his narrow Lower East Side spot is radically chill, with slovenly service by young women in short-shorts, cramped seating on punishing wood cubes, and black walls adorned with his own travel snaps."

Is this really a problem? Seems futuristic to me.

"Suitably sloshed, you may in fact have a fine time at Xiao Ye—failing to notice, for instance, how much the generic duroc-pork pot stickers ($8 an order) resemble the Chinatown classics, sold five for a dollar a few blocks away; or how the Princeton Review Bean Paste Noodles are like a milquetoast version of Grand Sichuan’sdandan(more sweet than spicy); or that the clumsily hacked hunks of poached Hainan chicken are in fact an alarming shade of pink."

Oh really? Tell me, where can you get open ended pot stickers with duroc pork and WITHOUT MSG? The closest dumpling shop to Dericious is Vanessa's, which I love, but it's different. They have my favorite northern style dumpling. The fact that you compared zha jiang mien to dan dan mien shows you know ZERO about Chinese food. Zha Jiang Mien is a bean paste noodle from the North, dan dan mien is a oil based noodle from the South. You basically just compared clam chowder to she crab soup. Nice. Hainan chicken ALWAYS has a red ring from the marrow. It's not raw, its a freshly butchered chicken out of an ice bath. I stand by the hainan chicken. Its been consistently praised... even by Cruella Deville and half the chefs in NY are getting on the hainan chicken band wagon thanks to Top Chef. You heard it here first. We cook it for 24 minutes and its always perfect.

"an insipid mountain of shaved ice with tropical fruit, mango gelatin and Day-Glo blue syrup—are also best suited to bingeing while liquored up."

Did you even eat here? The syrup is not blue. The tapioca pearls are blue, the syrup is condensed milk. How did you confuse the two? This is our most popular dessert. Never sent back.

In conclusion. Hate me. That's fine. You don't like me, you don't like the stools, you like David Chang. Fair enough. He's one of the illest chefs in the game. I just want to cook good food without the establishment. I'm interested in the culture of eating. I'm not a chef.

And if you can't see that Xiao Ye is my attempt at defining a youth cultural American Born Chinese Food experience, then you won't appreciate it. I'm trying to redefine it with inspiration from Taiwanese Night Markets, St. Mark's St., and bodegas. Where else can you get a Johnnie Walker Bubble Tea, a Gochujang Grilled Cheese, and Taiwanese Potstickers? It's complicated, it's off the wall, but it's what I want to do, so do yourself a favor, and don't judge me by the standards of others. Will I ever win a James Beard Award? No. Do I care? No, I'm guessing he's just another dude who can't tell zha jiang from dan dan. You can't come in here judging the restaurant with your old lens. You need the giant .99 goggles I got on. I'm not Chang, I'm not Grand Sichuan, and I'm not Vanessa's Dumplings.

Timeout is basically on itsC. Delores Tucker shit. This aint a "gangsta chef" blog. It's the Diary of a Chinaman in 2010: I'm a Futuristic Time Travelling Chinaman with a Spaceship called Baohaus 1. And yes, Chinaman is the preferred nomenclature, anything else would be uncivilized.

Monday, October 4, 2010

SO, I heard from Pat White (dericious manager) that people haven't been taking advantage of my wine and reverse happy hour specials at XY. What it is yall? You really don't want $25 bottles from 6 to 8pm? Its good wine and now its cheap too.

XY: 6 to 8pm every day $25 bottle of wine any bottle. Thurs, Fri, Sat 10pm to 2am: 2 for 1 mixed drinks and $4 beers.

AND, at Baohaus this Thursday I'm going to be debuting our entry for Sandwich Showdown (Thanks Pat La Frieda for the meat as ALWAYS)... The Dericious Cheesesteak... come see it Thursday starting at 12pm. Even if we lose at the showdown, we win at the after party. That's really all we care about: putting hos in spaceships.

If you haven't read it, check out Sumathi Reddy's article in the WSJ about the Brooklyneer. She gave me a call last week to see what I thought about this shit show. When she asked me about the spot, I figured most people would have seen through importing the Brooklyn Food Scene across the bridge. But, judging from the comments, manhattanites have officially lost they minds.

"That's kind of genius. It's like the Eataly of Brooklyn," - Mr. Dommu

Hey Mr. Dommu, one small distinction. The N-train doesn't go to ITALY but it does go to Atlantic Ave. TAKE IT.

Katherine Solomon, a Murray Hill resident, agrees. "I'd like to be able to sample Brooklyn without having to leave the borough," she said.

Should people in Murray Hill even be allowed to speak after work? I don't think so.

A lot of people hate on Brooklyn food cause its been getting a lot of shine. But why? When that fool from Vogue said there was a BK bias, I thought to myself. He's just like the white kid in high school who hated affirmative action. "Oh my God, I'm 3rd generation alumni at Yale and Tyrone got in cause he's crispy!" (based on a true story) No mother fucker, YOU'RE CRISPY. You got urs, now BK gettin theirs, shut the fuck up Steingartten.

What's so wrong about another borough's food scene coming of age and giving Mchattan a run for its money? If you don't like it, you shouldn't have supported all those Max Brenners, Virgin Megastores, and Petcos that displaced every one. People took it to BK because that's where there from, that's where they want to rep, or that's where they could. I preferred to open in BK but there wasn't a good fit. There aren't as many 400 or 500 sq ft shops with foot traffic and the potential for ventilation.

The idea of canonizing BK food is insulting. It's kind of just begun and any attempt at defining it is condescending and stereotypical. CAN IT LIVE? Let it breathe.

Yes, the scene has been on the come up for a while, but there's still plenty to do. People want to dead the BK food scene like it's all hipster food before it even matures and that's what bothers me. Do I laugh at some guy in a vintage vest, lumberjack and red wing boots selling rustic Italian food in the hood? Yes. Is Asia Dog just a Criff Dog with really high SAT scores? Yes, but what's wrong with edumacation? Is it hilarious that people are trying to turn Clinton Hill into the summer love child of Seattle and Charleston? Yes, but my favorite "farmer" in BK?

Farmer in the Deli: "We don't make sandwiches, we build them." BAWSE.

There's a lot more to food in BK than flea markets, faux farmers, and bake sales. The places in the neighborhood I always hit: Yemen Cafe, Hua Long (illest chinese wings on fulton st.), Cake Man Raven, Pequena (lot of people hate, but they have dope quesadillas i'm not even playin), Pies n Thighs, Olea, No. 7. Come on now. 11217... Stand Up.

I went from the favoriteTo the most hatedWould you rather be underpaid or overrated?More victories is for minor league cultures-Hova