Felicity warned Elaina before she went back to the future!! So she went to Duke instead of Columbia and DIDN’T die! We won’t get into how that plot detour makes NO SENSE, we will just accept it, and move on.

Dancing on bars is actually a f*#kload of fun!

I was going to justify this by telling you I got PAID to do it, but that just sounds. so. Wrong!

Tyler Hilton’s bassist likes my pink vinyl 80’s jacket! I got it at Wet Seal. He didn’t know what Wet Seal was, so I had to tell him it’s a teen store in the mall. SHUT UP! I know I’m not a teen. Thanks.

Sadly, there has been *very* little knitting. I spent a lot of time attempting to make tini-tiny preemie knits, but apparently, I forgot that gauge is actually a THING. If you know a woman who could use a hat for her baby while it’s STILL IN THE WOMB, let me know…I think I have one the right size.

There *has* been progress on two knit fronts though:

The bittersweet socks LIVE! They’ve actually become Bittersweet sockLETTES, with questionable picot cuffs (yeah, I don’t know. The jury is still out on the picots. More pics later)

Um, YAY! Right? Except I haven’t TOUCHED Rogue since then, and it’s been *over* a week! Like I said…life and work are kickin’ my ASS. There’s potentially some really exciting stuff on the horizon though, so I’ll be sure to keep you updated.

In order to get a free dress from Gucci, I would have had to have been genuinely interested in dating my generous benefactor and truthfully, I wasn’t.

Which brings me to the title of my post…

If, for any reason, you find yourself wondering if I’d maaaybe possibly be interested in being set-up, please come back here and re-read the title of this post.

Thank you, I love you, no.

This has nothing to do with you personally. This doesn’t even happen to have anything to do with the perfectly nice, upstanding, generous, and kind men I have been set up with in the past. They’re fine.

It’s me.

I am horrible at dating.

Anyone close to me will probably tell you that I can be a really great girlfriend, but as far as dating goes, in those early phases boy… watch out! I’ll chew you up!*

If I like you, you’re golden (pending no looming ex-boyfriend issues)**. If I don’t like you, you’ll know it. Fast. Four out of the last four guys I’ve dated have been sent the “You’re a nice guy, but I don’t think we should do the dating thing” or “Can we just be friends?” email after one date (two max).

Yes, email.*** And yes, ONE date.

Now, before you get all judgy on me and tell me I’m too quick to the punch and before you bust out again with the Hall & Oats, let me just say this:

SOMETIMES A GIRL JUST KNOWS.

As I see it, there are four possible reactions a girl can have on a first date (give or take a few varying degrees):

OMGYOU’REHOTANDCOOLANDAWESOME!!!

Hrm…kinda cute…funny…smart… there’s potential. A Definate Maaaaybe.

There’s nothing wrong with you. Buuuuut, this is not for me.

OMGYOUASSHATLOSER! HELLS NO!

Now, here’s where I have a problem with set-ups. Most setups, because of natural odds n shit, are going to end up being #3s.

#3s, on a set-up, are the saddest of dates. They’re not bad or comical enough to morph into one of your best.dating.stories.ever! and they’re not good enough to move any further past an equally pleasant but uneventful second date. They’re the kind that, at the time, is quite pleasant and enjoyable, but afterwards leave you hollow and lame, possibly wishing you’d been home polishing your nails.

However, if it had been a guy I’d met somewhere, who became interested in me and asked me out (or was asked out by me), I would classify the #3 as a date that simply didn’t work out and no hollowness or lameness would occur.

Why the difference? In the LATTER case, there was some sort of mutual spark or feeling that moved us both to agree to go out. The date-excitement-buildup is based on real-life contact. I’d seen him, spoken with him — felt his aura, if you will. Maybe there was even a little flirty-flirty action. I got excited about a date with a particular boy that I liked. With the set-up, the whole thing is artificial. It’s like we’ve checked each other’s dating resumes and signed off on the contract. The excitement is purely about the act of going on a date — with whom almost doesn’t matter. Whatever excitement I DO have about the guy is based more on possibility and fantasy than reality, BECAUSE WE’VE NEVER ACTUALLY MET. THUS, when it turns out that date-guy is not for me, most likely, in the set-up version, he’s going to be WAY MORE not for me, and the lameness factor is going to be higher.

Right.

So.

I am thus forbidden from going on any more set-ups/blind dates/internet dates (which, for me, have been glorified blind date/set-ups and YES, I know many people have met the loves of thier life through the internet. Some of them read this blog. I think it’s awesome.)

If you’re reading this blog and you’ve set me up with someone, I’d like to formally apologize for my bad dating skills. My set-up ban is as much for your health and sanity as it is for mine, as I wouldn’t want you to inflict me on any more of your nice, unsuspecting friends

Also, if you’re reading this blog, and you think, because you read this blog and leave comments or whatever, that we ‘know’ each other (making you someone I would consider dating), please reconsider. The answer will likely be the title of this post, MINUS the ‘I love you’ part. (if you’re reading this blog and you leave comments that I write back to all the time and if you’re someone whose blog I read and leave comments on all the time and we end up having little chats over email or getting together in person, then I adore you. But you weren’t going to ask me out, so that last sentence before the sentence before this sentence wasn’t directed at you anyway)

{{sigh}}

Enough babble for now…my thin-mints and my ‘Felicity’ await.

(No wonder I’m still single )

* go ahead, you’re DYING TO SAY IT!
** That is, if you like ME. My luck is often that if I like you, you uh… don’t.
***Hey, we only went on ONE date!

I realize my title is totally stolen from someone else’s blog entry, but at the moment, I can’t even remember whose, so WHOEVER you are, thanks for the idea

Because it is late, and because I *desperately* want to blog, but ain’t got no energy to DO it, you get a picture show

This is my momma, on surgery day. Notice here how she is trying to convince me that the thrummies match *her* coat better than mine and thus should be *hers*. Sick or NOT, that lady ain’t gettin’ mah thrums! MINE! (ok, so they do match hers better. So?)

This is a pic of one of the Thrummies earlier that morning, ecstatically happy that it woke up to five inches of SNOW!!!!!! THRUM WEATHER! (take THAT 69° Day!)

This is me and my tasty omlette (with feta cheese. mmmmmm.) My brother convinced me it was ok to leave the hospital to get some food while we waited for mom to get out of surgery.

Heeee’s not a picture person

These are the chunky mittens I decided to make after my brother attempted to blow his nose on my Rogue sleeve. I call them the Hospital Mittens. They *were* going to be a gift, but it turns out they won’t fit the recipient, so I’ve decided they’re for me. SUCKS FOR HIM!

This was supposed to be a picture of my cutie-neice. Instead, this is a picture of my cutie-niece’s feet. Still cutie.

Apparently she was more into *taking* pictures than posing for them.

This is a picture of Rogue Sleeve #2!!! In this pic, it’s *just* up to the cap, but in real life, it’s halfway through the cap!!! Sadly, after *all* my hospital knitting hours, this and the HMs are all I have to show. I’m slow, apparently. {{shame}}

It’s CRAZY to me how you *so* can’t tell the difference between the sky and the sea. I think it’s perrrrrrty.

Lastly, this is a poster I created for the station. If you’re walking around in a mall in MD, DC or VA and you see this, I MADE IT! GO ME!! (ok, yes, I have a crush on the poster.)

I may or may *not* be going to a black-tie affair at the Mandarin Hotel this weekend. It’s probably a not. I don’t have anything to wear anyway. Although, I *was* offered (I think?) the aid of a personal shopper (huh? wha? Julia Roberts?! Me?) We’ll see.

Just wanted to drop in and let you know I haven’t fallen into an abyss or anything. I’ve just been away and really really busy. :-\

I spent the last 5 or 6 days in NY with my mom, helping her out as she underwent gastric bypass surgery!!!!! She’s been working towards getting this done for almost a year and we’ve all been very nervous about it, as the risks are really high. In the end though, I think we all decided that the risk is higher for her NOT to do it.

Anyway, mom is at home recovering and doing really well. It’s going to be soo CRAZY!!!! She’s going to be the Incredible Shrinking Momma! We’re all really excited now to see how much better mom is going to feel! This has the possibilty to revolutionalize her life!!!

Needless to say, with all that hospital time, I got a decent amount of knitting in!!! I also got in quite a bit of cutie-niece and brother time too!!! Maybe later tonight when I get home, I can upload the pics and give you a proper update.

Till then, go on over here and see what Stephanie’s been reading (like you haven’t already seen it )