I started my new year 2019 alone being a little bit sick but still hopeful for the coming year. 2018 totally sucked for me. From outsiders point of view it may have seemed like a dream come true. I traveled for months all around the world. I wrote, wrote and wrote. I could spend every day doing whatever I wanted.

And still it was mentally one of the worst years of my life.

That’s the reason why I decided to start this new year asking for something better and maybe using magic on my advance. I haven’t yet learned a lot about rituals or performing spells but who cares? I decided to make my own rules just for this one time!

Water is purifying in magic. That’s something I know. Unfortunately, my home doesn’t have bath and so it meant just taking a shower. For all my fellow beginner witches, don’t let that tame you!

Taking a shower surrounded by scented candles and darkness felt magical. I could feel all my worries just leaving my body. New life was waiting for me.

I used for my ritual

dried mint

white vanilla candles

tea cup

page from an old book

green marker

The goal of my ritual was to ask for good luck, strength, motivation, and happiness for the year 2019.

Why I picked these things to use in the ritual?

Mint is associated with strength, luck and travel.

Vanilla is sometimes used to find inner peace and comfort.

White candles drive away bad energy but also bring purity and peace.

Tea cup I needed for burning a page from a book. For me tea cup reflects peaceful life full of happiness.

Page from an old book I picked to write my wishes on it. Page from book felt like an good idea because I’m aspiring writer.

Green as color means growth and hope.

How I did the ritual?

I started my ritual by drawing a circle with the dried mint.

Next I lighted four white vanilla candles inside the circle.

I put the page of book inside my circle.

For a moment I just listened the wind and quietness around me. Then I wrote the page full of my wishes and hopes (year full of happiness, dreams coming true, and getting better). Lastly I signed the page with my name.

Then I put the tea cup on the page inside my circle.

Asking for help from some magical bigger powers I took the page under the cup, light it on fire in one of the candles, and put it inside the tea cup (for safety reasons!)

Then I watched my wishes burning up and maybe changing to reality.

What are my thoughts afterwards?

I’m not still sure how much I believe in magic and how much not. But after doing this ritual I felt so free. Like all my worries had been taken away! This year is going to be my year. This year is going to be the year I finally give everything I have for my dreams. And just maybe this year will also be the most magical year of my life. Happy New Year everyone out there!

I don’t know if it has anything to do with magic inside me but I have never felt normal.

In kindergarten I stayed awake while others were taking a nap. Everyday for a few years I would lay in my bed listening other kids breathing calmly. I wasn’t normal. I was different. The teachers knew that something wasn’t quite right with me but never intervened because I was quiet and not disturbing others.

It was the first time I felt like I didn’t belong. How could all these other kids just sleep without any difficulties? I couldn’t.

But that was just the first time I felt out of place.

Later on in my life everyone else seemed to fit in and find their own place. I lived more in my head. Always wishing for something more but never truly seeing what that more would be. During my teenage years I spend countless hours in the local library just reading. Novels, poems, dictionaries and most importantly books about witchcraft. Something was calling me but never enough for me to understand.

I was different. I still am but not as oppressed as I used to be.

When all my friends went to university or started dating seriously while planning their perfectly ordinary future something flamed inside me. There’s no way I could survive just studying something useful, finding a man and making a few kids for me to take care of. And even worse, there was no way for me to make name for myself as that cool powerful business woman my parents were wishing for.

My soul was screaming for something more. And so I left to see the world.

Now you may be asking: what does this have to do with your journey to the world of magic?

Maybe it doesn’t, maybe it does. I have always been a restless soul who has to find something deeper behind this world. It can’t just be about living your life to work or raise kids. There has to be more.

I have. Magical moon staring down at us in the darkest hours of the day.

Moon is important part of magic. That’s what I knew even before trying to learn more about the lifestyle of witches and wiccas. Moon has been mystery for humankind so long that it felt natural for us to use it for measuring time but also for our magic.

But it’s not just some rock on our sky.

Even if the most clear way we feel moon is seeing it on the sky at night there’s much more behind it. Water levels and tides are just some powerful things caused by the mighty moon.

So, what does moon mean in the magical lifestyle?

I think talking about our moon should be important part of every witches’ book of shadows. Following the moon magic guidelines may not be for everyone but every starting witch should look into it. That’s what I’m doing. Like in other subjects there won’t be guidelines for the magical practices for now. I have to look more into the matter and magic before I can start giving proper tips for anyone else. Or even for myself in this book of shadows!

Many witches follow the moon phases when planning their rituals. The general understanding seems to be that magic will be stronger during the full moon and that’s why many covens meet on the night of full moon. There’s also “special” full moons for even more powerful rituals and witchcraft. These are for example blood moon and blue moon.

The lunar energy aka moon energy is often described as feminine force and so perfect for witches who have traditionally been women taking part to the magic rituals.

I also found a lot of talk about full moon heightening our awareness and intuition. Not sure if that’s what I believe in but the night of full moon is always a little magical, don’t you think?

You should also know these two terms of moon magic: waxing moon(moon from new moon to full moon) and waning moon(moon from full moon to new moon). Those terms are used a lot in the magical books of shadows I’m reading currently. It’s kind of interesting because different phases of moon are perfect for different kind of rituals. Just like it is stereotypical to think about witches!

Kind of annoying though. You have to wait maybe a whole month or sometimes even more for the perfect time for you ritual.

I have to start to keep eye on the moon cycles and especially the times of full moon.

Magic and witchcraft have a long history that isn’t often spoken about. I remember mention of Wicca and Finnish ancient nature religions in school but we never really took closer look to them. Maybe parents would go crazy if they taught kids about magic and witches in school?

But should beginner witch dive into the long and complicated history of witchcraft?

In my opinion, definitely yes! History of witchcraft will teach you so much more than just about the things that have happened to the culture of magic. History includes info of rituals, practices, and beliefs that you can merge to the modern magic. For example I’m super interested of traditional Finnish magic because it would be something my ancestry knew. For you it would be either your local history of magic or something totally different.

If the ways of ancient Egyptians or Shamans wake your interest, it may be worth of looking more into.

I’m believer of coincidences meaning something. And that’s why I decided to start my journey to the history of witchcraft by reading Christopher Dell’s The Occult, Witchcraft & Magic. I have no idea if this is the right history book to go for but it presented itself for me so many times that I had no choice in this matter.

I’m not kidding. After starting this blog and my journey to magic this exact book has been appearing for me everywhere. In my local bookstores, on my trip to Germany, YouTube reviews and lastly in library when I had just about 2 minutes to find something to read for Christmas break. The Occult, Witchcraft & Magic is waiting for me on my nightstand.

My start in the world of magic hasn’t been easy but jumping on the history lesson may be good way to find my roots for this journey. Right?

All my friends know that there’s two things that I should never be allowed to do: cooking and growing plants. Both will end in catastrophe when I’m included.

I have made things burn inside oven more than trice. And I mean burn with flames. Every plant that gets even near me tends to die in a week or two. And let’s not even mention me trying gardening. I’m catastrophic person – that’s how it has always been – but cooking and taking care of plants seem to take my nature on totally new level.

Cooking is its own chapter but today we’re going to talk about plants. Witches love green fresh plants that can help them with all kinds of problems, right? Green witches are those women and men who practice magic using their love for plants.

I could never be a green witch.

Or so anyone who knows me would say.

The problem is that I love plants despite my almost magical ability to make them wither. It doesn’t matter if I follow all the rules of where to place the plant, how much to water it or what nutrients use. Plants I own die.

But not all is black and white.

To my and everyone else’s surprise there’s this one bamboo plant from Ikea that has survived now in my care for almost an year. It must be some kind of super plant. And it’s not even that it’s surviving but it’s literally growing unnaturally fast. My gardening skills are either nonexistent or excellent. Of course there’s no in between when it’s about me…

Despite that one win people would never call me nature person. In addition to my poor gardening skills, I also lack everything one would need to be seen as fitting for hiking, living in forests or fitting in with the other nature people. I can’t make fire, don’t know daisy from rose and get scared of huge animals. My family is from city. Everything in me screams city girl.

So, why am I talking about this in my book of shadows?

I can’t take care of plants, good enough reason for me not to be green witch, that’s it.

If it just was that easy.

I may not be green witch material. I suck at growing plants and would die if left alone to forest for more than a few hours. And still something in these green living things is calling for me. Despite my bad gardening skills I have kept trying to understand how to take care of plants properly. All my life I have been buying new plants just to maybe this time succeed and taking care of them.

I have always found reading the fortune from tea leaves interesting. I remember being about fourteen when I first time told someone I could tell their future from tea. We made tea normally and then broke the tea bag in the mug. I had no idea what I was doing. The images my broken tea bag made didn’t make sense. Just blag powder in the bottom of my friend’s tea cup.

Today I went to Christmas shopping and by accident saw this lonely tea cup standing in the discount self. Small white tea cup and plate for it. The memory of me trying to read tea leaves years ago came back to me. I didn’t buy the cup. Or well not right then. I carried all my bags back to my car, sat down and just couldn’t leave. The small tea cup was calling for me.

Hours later I found myself sitting on the floor lighting candles and cup of tea waiting for me.

It has been almost ten years but nothing has changed. I’m still that silly girl who believes in things only to get disappointed. My tea cup is now empty. Or well at least empty of any hot tea. You can see some red tea and brown leaves on the plate next to it. I don’t dare thinking what’s inside my tea cup.

Tea leaves I can’t read.

Just leaves that don’t make any sense for me. No images. No meanings. No future to read.

When I had just bought that small white tea cup that didn’t leave me alone, everything seemed so clear. Almost like it was meant to be. There’s old magic in my blood. This is it. This is the time when I discover the great truth I have been looking for.

No. That didn’t happen.

It’s never so easy.

I drank my tea. Left some of it to the cup. Then shook it three times. Lastly I put the plate above the cup and turned it upside down. I was scared that any tea leaves wouldn’t stick to the mug. But they did. That wasn’t my problem.

There was more than enough tea leaves in the bottom of my cup. Heck, those leaves even made shapes and figures. The problem was me. I couldn’t make up any real words for what I was seeing. That’s not heart. Not triangle. Not anchor. Not any known animal. Not dragon. Nothing. Just shapes that weren’t really shapes.

How do you read tea leaves? How do you do this?

The secret didn’t open up for me today but that’s why I’m trying again tomorrow.

Some things change. I’m not the same small scared girl anymore. Maybe silly, yes. Maybe full of false hope. But above all I have grown up to be too stubborn for my own good. And that’s why I will try tomorrow, day after that and as long as it takes for me to see something on my damn tea cup!

Magic. The mystic force some of us believe, some don’t. Witches, Wiccas, and other magical beings. Are they real? Do they exist? What is magic all about?

This blog will be my magical book of shadows. Aka the diary of learning magic and taking my first steps to the world of witchcraft. I can’t say confidently that I believe in magic but I believe in intuition, destiny, maybe in love and aren’t those almost the same thing?

If I don’t know do I or do I not believe in magic why would I want to learn about it? There’s many reasons for this. The main one being that I’m a writer. Count this as research or whatever but someday in the future I would like to write a novel with realistic witch in it. The second reason is simply my interest of anything paranormal and unnatural. Magic keeps pulling me towards it so here I am.

If magic is real, it’s definitely in my veins. My intuition has always been higher than on average person. I love reading tarot cards and even my friends come to me for predictions when they need help. I’m magical but I don’t know do I believe in real magic…

This blog will be full of my research and experiences. Basically you can divide Magical Book of Shadows to two parts: my magic diary (about things I learn, experience and am interested in) and informative articles about magic (tips, tricks and lists).

You’re welcome to take part in my trip to the magical life style of witchcraft!