when I was a boy, I wanted to be a girl, just so nobody came after me.I hated being a boy and always having to fight when all I wanted is to be like other boys.

I guess you could have called me 'streetwise' as a kid, and guess I could have had loads of friends, but always needed time be just be me.Just being alone and trying to pick up the pieces and work out what life to a boy should be.

Not the constant argueing I faced at home, but there was nowhere else to go, nowhere.They let my older brother continue abusing me, like they were blind to that one.

He sought control, not just over me and my other siblings but his and my father, and he taught me to feel inferior to the male world, and he called me all the derogaratory names under the sun, to expel any male ego that I formed.

I cried to God, and asked him why? He put a brother from Hell in my family, nah, it carried on and on.

He used to get mad when I reacted, and even more mad when I didnt, but one thing got to him, when I told his school buddies the truth about him, he freaked out on that one.

One thing I can tell you, is that he never laid a hand on me, and now he knows that he has no control over me, it hurts him, because he is weak inside and not a real man.

I love to go back to when I was a boy though, because I can remember just how much I could get people to love me with that cheeky boy smile

I felt funny thinking that everyone outside of my family loved me, and my family didnt, and I could not work out how that could be,

ste

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