What to Do When Friends Change

One of the hardest things about going to college is leaving your childhood friends. A lot of it comes from a fear of the unknown; will they forget me? Will they stop talking to me? When I see them again will things be different? I can only answer the last question: yes, some things will be different.

In some cases, things will change for the better. However, here, I am talking about when things change for the worst. Change is bound to happen, and although you don’t notice yourself changing, the first thing you notice are your childhood friends changing, and it can cause a lot of problems.

Everyone experiences different changes. Sometimes friends become boy crazy, others turn into party animals, some cannot stop obsessing over their brand new friends, and some change into all three of these things. Your conversations with them become all about them and their crazy weekend; they never ask about you and how you are, and it becomes incredibly frustrating. However, it is not worth losing a friendship over.

Let’s break it down.

The best way to go about fixing friendships and getting feelings out is to simply talk it out. As hard as it will be, it’s better to get everything out in the open. When I went through this I waited way too long to bring up how I was feeling and it turned into a complete mess. When you are telling your friend how you’re feeling, you need to be honest, not harsh. Being rude to her is not going to make the situation better, but rather will only make them more defensive. When you tell your friend she is changing, she is bound to say that you have changed too. Make sure you let her explain her feelings as well.

When you have both said your peace try to come to an agreement about how you guys can improve your friendship. Try stepping up and being the better person by starting the conversation with her and hopefully she will follow your lead and things will begin to improve. If your friend goes back to being the crazy she was before, talk to her about it again.

If she cannot stop obsessing over a boy, try and change the subject to something else, like class or family; it might not work but it definitely gives you a break from having to hear about Mr. Monday all day. Do the same thing when your friends won’t stop talking about all the crazy parties they’ve been to.

If your friends are obsessed with their new friends and it starts to bother you, bring up old memories you guys have. It will definitely make you feel better, and it will remind them of the friendship you guys have and all the incredible memories you have made.

We all change when we go to college, but it is really hard watching people you’ve known forever change into completely different people; it hurts. Sometimes not much can be done, but if the friendship means that much, trying to work it out is the best and only option.