A Story of Treatment and Recovery

File under “Things Not to Say”

It should probably go without saying, but when you find out that someone has breast cancer, you should probably refrain from any remark along the lines of “That’s too bad, because you have an awesome rack.” I mean, there’s a time and a place to objectify women’s bodies* but this is emphatically Not It.

*I actually do think this. Sometimes it’s okay to treat people as objects of desire, insofar as “desire” is a verb that takes an object, and part of being a person is desiring other people. But no one wants to be treated as an object all the time; most of the time we want to be treated as agents, or as Kant puts it, as ends in ourselves, rather than means. A woman running, for example, probably wants to be seen as a person, not an object put on earth to be viewed and appraised like a statue in a gallery. A woman with CANCER probably wants to be seen as a person, not as an object with a disfiguring flaw like a dented vintage car.

I’m laughing in disbelief. It’s like something in a bad movie… that moment that is so terrible and so awkward that it seems to happen in slow motion and all you want to do is shout “NOOOO!”, grab the offender by the ear, drag them away, lecture them, then reinsert them into the movie and watch the CORRECTED version with the happier ending.

I’m sorry you encountered that. I’m sure it offended you and pissed you off, and more. But I hope you can laugh at it a bit. Beyond that…. I’m really glad that you can apply Kant and identity politics to your cancer journey. With Chemo Brain, nonetheless! You never cease to amaze me.

With or without cancer, you have a nice rack. And if you end up going through surgeries and your rackness is compromised, you will still be a sexy logician babe and very, very desirable.

Perhaps I’m not clever at logic, but it seems to me that this comment commits the offense complained of. There’s a term for that in logic, as I recall, and there is a term for it in actual life, which is less flattering. It’s vexing me that I can only come up with the latter, which I will refrain from using in the interests of preserving decorum.

All was meant lightly and ironically, inspired by the same moods of silliness shared over tea time, comic books, and quilts in Washburn. I’m terribly sorry if I offended or my comment was taken out of context.

I find the whole idea of ANY woman being objectified, not just my neice, somewhat skeevy, and it is a good thing you’re so far away, cause if I heard such a comment being made to you, heads would roll. GRRR!