I'm filled with fear.... any suggestions on how to make this feeling go away?

Originally posted by Lookingup
I started feeling a bit like you describe. I don't have any family, and no one to take care of me, so with the recent economic situations, and other
doom and gloom, I found myself becoming preoccupied with negative thoughts and anxiety. Also, I have a stressful job that added to my anxiety and
crabbiness.

I got off of ATS for awhile, had some bouts of good physical exercise outdoors, and tried a bit of meditation, or whatever you want to call it. About
20 minutes a day of not thinking about anything. I just imagined I was looking into swirling fog. If a thought crept in, I blocked it out. This
seemed to make me more relaxed.

During the day, I suppressed negative thoughts. I made a list of chores around the house and concentrated on finishing them.

It's too easy to get online and read all the doom and gloom, then start to dwell on it and let your mind become preoccupied with all the what-ifs
that could happen.

Attack any problems you can fix, and get them out of the way. Think positively that you have done the best you could. Accept that some things may
be out of your control, but be prepared the best you can. Good luck!

Thanks for the advice... I also live in Texas.

maybe staying active and keeping my body moving will help... as well as tackling any little chores around the house.

I'll do better to stop procrastinating on things that should be getting done... It will help me focus on the tasks I need to accomplish rather than
the worries I have about life.

If you have too much coffee it causes fear -- anything that burns out your kidneys. Just so you know. Also eating iron-rich food -- like black beans
-- increases your will power. The opposite of fear is will power -- from the kidneys.

The more fear you focus on, the more fear you bring into your focus. Recognize that fear is a choice, not the result of outside influences. If you
believe that it is then you hand over control and responsibility of yourself and your emotions to those outside forces.

Doomsday, I've read some of your post over the past year or so as a "lurker" and have always enjoyed most of what you have shared.. so I will say
this as a distant friend..

Have you taken a break from ATS lately? That is one reason I have never joined.. I didn't want to feel obligated to being on the boards daily. I'm
not knocking ATS, but this site can have some very troubling topics from time to time, and aren't always the best thing to get drawn into if you are
anxious to begin with.

That is by no means a cure, and I agree with a few others.. maybe you should see a doctor, but I can assure you that ATS is something you need to
balance with other.. sometimes more positive activities.

I have balance, and try to limit my time on ATS when I feel like I'm getting sucked in. You say you have children.. that's a beautiful thing..
enjoy that. There is always beauty to find in everything.

About 12yrs ago I had to
acknowledge that my levels of anxiety were getting out of hand. It got to a stage where I was finding it difficult to get stuff done, because I felt
overwhelmed.
The 1st thing I did was stop drinking caffeine & cut down on refined sugar. I feel this helped by putting me in a frame of mind that allowed me to
examine my life more calmly.
I did take up a new interest, which helped some, but I did also get a bit obsessive about it

Thats the sort of person I am. I also made a
conscious effort to spend more time with friends, doing whatever they were into, even if it didn't particularly interest me: just for the laughs.
These days I also make a point of having 1 night a week where I do throw all care to the wind & go out to get drunk. Yeah, sometimes I make a dick of
myself, but the other 6 days, I'm ok, so I know my friends dont mind. Its not like they're not dicks occasionally...
Got rid of the TV also. Doing so was good impetus to get out to see people.
I agree that even low level judging of others makes us fearful of being judged. We are often far more critical of ourselves however, so we feel that
our faults are far worse than those we see in others. This is where extra time with friends really helps by providing reassurance that, despite
our faults, we are accepted.
These days I'd say I'm merely anxious, not "very", but its not holding me back & right now I do actually have some serious problems to be anxious
about.

we became at peace with dieing i feel like broke free of a lot of suffuring. social free disapeerd when i relized i control my social interaction.
and still learning to truly love my self and others. but the more i love the less fear has anywhere to exsist

What's the worst that could happen, why even worry about it, life is like a rollercoaster, sooner or later it flys off the tracks and you die.
So what everyone dies in the physical term, so it seems you are no one special that this only happens to you.

Only thing I could say is to get in line with that which is, don't be false thing.
I know when I go, I'm going to laugh, to my last breath and beyond.

It might not seem so at times, but things are not as bad as they seem, what you think God makes mistakes, the choice is yours, for how ever many times
it takes to relize.

My fears do lie, with the ones that are still lost, other than that I don't seem to have much reason to be here.
But I do seem to worry for others worry, but don't worry, it will all work out as planned.

Doomsday, I've read some of your post over the past year or so as a "lurker" and have always enjoyed most of what you have shared.. so I will say
this as a distant friend..

Have you taken a break from ATS lately? That is one reason I have never joined.. I didn't want to feel obligated to being on the boards daily. I'm
not knocking ATS, but this site can have some very troubling topics from time to time, and aren't always the best thing to get drawn into if you are
anxious to begin with.

That is by no means a cure, and I agree with a few others.. maybe you should see a doctor, but I can assure you that ATS is something you need to
balance with other.. sometimes more positive activities.

I have balance, and try to limit my time on ATS when I feel like I'm getting sucked in. You say you have children.. that's a beautiful thing..
enjoy that. There is always beauty to find in everything.

Find balance and you will find your peace.

Take care.

I think maybe the last break I took from ATS was in December(09) and January (2010)... I enjoyed the holidays and the new year... even was successful
in a lot of my new year resolutions until February rolled around.

Somebody pointed out a few posts earlier that life is like a roller coaster but eventually the it flies off the tracks... I guess It would be alot
easier if my kids weren't on that roller coaster.

I don't want to see my children's roller coaster fly off the track before mine does... and that's a fear I'm just going to have to face as a
parent... And God is loving the fact that he putting me through the same fears that I gave my parents. My parents worried about me all the time... and
I'm now realizing why.

But take Love for example... we have that expression it's better to have Loved and Lost than to have never Loved at all.... Well when you lose that
loved one it's the worst feeling in the world... and my children are so precious that it scares the holy hell out of me.

I've never really had anyone close to me die... I had a few relatives pass away in their "old age" but I've never had someone like a close
childhood friend pass away... or a close family member... or like I said... even a child... I know others who have faced this horrible feeling and I
don't know how they cope.

I don't know... taking another break from ATS this summer might be a good idea...
Or maybe I should just learn how take one day at a time.

But my question... regardless of how I feel... is who isn't a little fearful in 2010? Look at all the $hit that's happening in the world. Maybe my
feelings on certain subjects could be natural... but overall I do need to make changes in my life.

Fear is good. Fear, for lack of a better word, is the only rational response to the modern condition. Anybody who tries to tell you otherwise is
selling something.

You need to be able to cope with your fear. You need to be able to keep a level head on your shoulders. But don't lose The Fear. The Fear shows
that you're not numb, not deadened, not a desiccated husk. There's still some fight and some intelligence.

There is an entire psychiatric industry dedicated to trying to numb and deaden the few remaining people who don't stumble and stagger through life
like zombies. There are other opiates--sex, religion, fast food, television.

It's already far too late to save The World. The World is doomed, damned, done for. But it isn't yet too late for some of us to save ourselves.
Fear is the only thing that makes us realize we have to save ourselves and those we care for. Fear keeps us sharp. It keeps us alive. Don't
forsake fear.

It's already far too late to save The World. The World is doomed, damned, done for. But it isn't yet too late for some of us to save ourselves.
Fear is the only thing that makes us realize we have to save ourselves and those we care for. Fear keeps us sharp. It keeps us alive. Don't
forsake fear.

While I have fear for the world... and while I know it's doomed... you're right!!! It isn't too late for some of us to save ourselves... and that
is probably my biggest fear... How much time do I have?

Because I have some sins I haven't quite repented for... and I don't want to die while I'm still living a certain lifestyle. It sucks trying to
break old habits.

Anyway... good post.

Sometimes my Mom would tell me that fear is good thing also... It's what pays the bills.

I'm so sorry to hear you feel this way.
All I can offer is my experiences -
I got anxiety a lot. I don't know why it's just a general feeling of the fear you describe. I was like this as a child and seemed to overcome it as
a teenager. (Although I think that was my giving up and not caring, just wanting to let everything go and live for once.) But when I had my first
child it came back with a vengance. I assume it was due to the increase of responsibility and feeling as though everything that is wrong with the
world was out of my control. I started taking xanax and it helped a lot to be honest. I understand that you are not willing to take medications. It
was a last hope type thing for me. There were nights that I couldn't leave my daughter's side as she slept away for fear of not being able to save
her if something were to occur. I know how really there aren't the words to describe it all. I know it spirals out of control until you start to lose
sight of who you are.

Anyhow, I started meditating and trying to focus on nothing but love and light and giving over all those worries back to the world where they came
from. Since then I can most definately handle everything much better. I feel lighter and more at peace of whatever happens, happens. Now, I take my
xanax to sleep at night. Mostly that's because I'm such a light sleeper that even the A/C kicking on would startle me awake and I would have to
check every lock, window and child.

So, I suggest meditation. At least look into it. There's nothing to lose and at least you tried, right? I really hope you overcome this. I know you
can, believe in yourself and your strength. You can't control the world and other people but you can control how you handle them. Find peace within
yourself and you will find peace without. Forgive and take things as a learning experience.

You could also try therapy but make sure you tell the Dr. you are under no circumstances willing to take medication and will find someone else if they
try to push it down your throat. That's your choice, not theirs.

I hope I have helped in some way, shape or form. If you woud like you can U2U me.

and in terms of what I think I've discovered in this thread... for me personally... I think I know what I need to do.... I have too much free
time!

"Idle time is the devils playground"

I think I need to learn how to stay busy... stay active... eat healthy... live healthy and just make better choices in life generally speaking.

There were nights that I couldn't leave my daughter's side as she slept away for fear of not being able to save her if something were to
occur. I know how really there aren't the words to describe it all.

I hate that feeling.... I have something similar to that and it's the fear of getting some kind of phone call while I wasn't with them... receiving
some kind of bad news about an accident.

I've had phone calls in the past where i receive bad news... but after I discover the circumstances of the situation I soon realize it's not the bad
news that I truly fear.

If I don't have my Xanax. Which I honestly don't take every night. I would say it's more like 4 nights out of 7. I am ok. I prefer to use sleepy
time tea which helps as well instead of the Xanax if I'm already a little bit sleepy and not tweaking about anything. For example, the night before
last I was feeling fine and was about to get in the shower and get to sleep without the medication. Then I heard a strange noise at my front door. I
opened it after looking out the peep-hole and there was a paper stating there was a child molester around the neighborhood as of late etc etc. So then
I had to take it cause I heard every single noise of the house settling. But I don't abuse the prescription and I think maybe that's why you're
getting the idea that prescription drugs are all horrible. When I don't take them I'm ok. I'm not sick, I don't feel crazy. Nothing of the sort. I
only take it when I need it. There are a lot of people that take more than intended and yes I'm sure they experience withdrawls and such. But when
used responsibly ... well, they helped me. Everyone is different.

I know what you mean about the anxiety when you aren't around them to protect them. Oh Lord do I know. I also know what it feels like to lose someone
close to you. Honey ... it's absolutely life shattering. I won't lie to you. But you learn to accept it and believe in 'God's Will' (if you are
religious). I found comfort in the thought that they had done what they were supposed to do here. And now there is no more pain for them, no more
worries. And maybe, just maybe God needed them more than I did. I fully respect the saying that God will not give you anything you cannot handle. That
in itself gives me strength. This way I know someone alsways believes in me even when I can't.

Hmmm take a look at your name. What it tells me is you live on the edge waiting for the other shoe to drop and that waiting has finally made you start
to lose your mind. If you live your life filled with fear it will turn to hate it always does whether you turn it on your family or friends or your
job it has to come out somehow.

Also many times doom and gloom can become a self fulfilling prophecy. Take a break from this crap walk in the park go for a drive leave the crazy
world known as ATS alone until you get your subjectivity back.

Ah, another unfortunate victim of "the machine". The machine chews you up and spits you out. Then it makes you feel guilty for what you did while
trying to survive the process. Nobody gets out unscathed, and nobody comes out of it a saint. If we all had a proper upbringing, we would have matured
quickly into healthy people. "But don`t blame my momma- don`t blame my dad-dy... I know they wish they never had me!" The machine makes it impossible
for our parents to raise us right. From age 5 till adulthood we are taken away from our parents and put in a building full of strangers who`s
intentions we can never be certain of. And if you try to keep your kid at home with his mommy and daddy, they will take your kid away from you and
throw you in jail. Well maybe I shouldn`t be so harsh on the machine... they do allow you to keep your kids as long as you planned ahead and went and
got a teaching degree. A pretty good option for those who can spare the years of schooling and the tens of thousands of dollars it cost for tuition,
books, transportation to school, etc. And hopefully you are lucky enough to be able to spare that time which most would have to spend working just to
pay bills and keep your head above water. And after you go through ALL that, the State will probably want to choose what can be taught to youre kid,
in your home, at least during school time.
Don`t feel guilty, whatever you did, God forgives all. I bet you he is pretty darn proud of you for coming forward and admitting you are
afraid. I don`t know for sure but you may be having anxiety attacks. A lot of people are getting these today because subconsciously, they know that
things are not right, that our leadership in this country has become a wasteland barren of all moral values. It`s an eerie feeling to go from one day
thinking "Go USA!" to the next day thinking, "Holy $#!+, dude I can`t believe what is being done in the name of "freedom" on behalf of my own
country!" Yeah, I do sometimes feel like an accomplice because I haven`t laid down my life for my beliefs, for what I know is right. But nowadays
people who do such things are known as terrorists, not heroes or patriots. Who wants to sacrifice their life for their country when your own people
will label you a traitor and your actions will only be a victory for the machine, which will only tighten it`s vice-like grip on the masses? We are
faced with impossible choices, don`t put all the pressure on yourself to find the solution. It`s something we all need to work on together. Only by
acting in cooperation with one another will we ever defeat the machine. I can only advise you to proceed to pray but without such a tremendous fear
and guilt. We are all equal in his eyes. Even moses was a murderer before he found a purpose in life. I could recommend a life changing book, it`s
called "The Purpose-filled Life" by pastor warren. True story, look it up: A man on the run from cops who just killed at least one person broke into
a womans home taking her hostage. She begins to read this book to him, a while later after he too read from the book, he leaves the woman in peace.
You gotta look up the full story because I don`t remember it all. But you will be ok, maybe you just need some good friends you can talk to about
this stuff without being ignored or ridiculed. Feel free to add me or u2u, I know what it`s like to feel rediculously terrified of the future but I
feel hope now. The fear and anxiety poke their heads in on my life far less often and with far less intensity.

Originally posted by Tragic
I also know what it feels like to lose someone close to you. Honey ... it's absolutely life shattering. I won't lie to you. But you learn to accept
it and believe in 'God's Will' (if you are religious). I found comfort in the thought that they had done what they were supposed to do here. And
now there is no more pain for them, no more worries. And maybe, just maybe God needed them more than I did. I fully respect the saying that God will
not give you anything you cannot handle. That in itself gives me strength. This way I know someone alsways believes in me even when I can't.

~Tragic~

It just sucks... I'm sorry for your loss.

I've been trying to tell myself that I'm prepared mentally for worst... but that's just a lie... there is know way of knowing how I'll react.

I think that pretty much sums up the biggest fear I have... Is not only losing a loved one... but also the possibility of watching them suffer.

And then there is the fear of not knowing what will happen when this life is over, when I die... because I'll tell you one thing... I hope some of
the stuff I've done in this world doesn't stay with me for an eternity... I just wish those sins are washed away.

Well, life is what it is. You make the best of what you are given and try to just be understanding of the rest.

As far as your sins being forgiven, the fact that you even stated that makes me believe you will be just fine. Ask and ye shall receive. I personally
think it would do you a lot of good to get more in touch with your spiritual side. Lay it all out there and acknowledge that you have done wrong (we
ALL have). And are now trying to better yourself for yourself and everyone else. I don't believe that 'God' holds grudges. I believe that if you
are truthful and sincere, he will know. You are obviously in need of some release. You can do this, you are stronger than you think.

I have to get to bed (have to be up in about 3.5 hrs) but I am going to friend you and seriously, please do not hesitate to U2U me. feel free. Try to
get some rest and let yourself breathe.

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