Two and a bit years ago, I was sitting on the floor, cramps going up my arm as I reached through bars of her cot trying, in vein to pat her to sleep. Then all I wanted was for her to sleep through the night. About 18 months ago she took her first steps and I was thinking how good it would be when she could run around and play on a scooter. About a year ago she said “daddy” and I couldn’t wait until we could have a conversation.

Yes I know… I have a tendency to “cast my mind forward”. You could say that sometimes I find it hard to be satisfied with anything because I’m already getting excited about the next event/milestone/activity that’s coming up next. It’s not always a bad thing. I’m pretty goal orientated (not necessarily the right goals) and once I’m locked in on something I’m pretty good at getting there (unless something better comes along and then I’m pretty good at getting there instead – you get the picture).

The problem I’ve found with having kids is that I’m getting exactly what I want. I wish my daughter can walk around a shopping center rather than need a pram – done. I’m sick of changing nappies and the next minute we’re toilet trained. Wonder what it would be like to have my little girl be able to have a two way conversation and before you know it, I get a minute by minute summary on today’s Peppa Pig marathon. Not only am I getting what I want, but it’s happening… quickly. Two months ago blocks were missiles, now we’re building farmhouses. At the end of last year we did toilet training, tonight she let me know that I could leave the bathroom because “I’m ok to do it by myself daddy”.

It’s been an ongoing theme on this blog to talk about the changes that I’ve witnessed so apologies to my two readers who are having to read another “proud dad” post. If it’s any consolation, this time its a bit different. I’m starting to realise that I need to start living a little bit more in the now because whatever the now is, it won’t be this way for long. Before I know it my little girl will be going to school, then staying at friends houses, then getting a mobile phone, ears pierced, driving license… finishing high school.. (ok, so I may be getting a little ahead of myself but you get the idea)

So I’m going to try to live in the now a little more, and worry about what coming next a little less. And to little miss 2.5 – have a great day first day – daddy thinks you’ll make an awesome architect.

Are you happy to stay in the now or do you find yourself wishing the time away? Do you think the pace of change is different for a SAHM than a weeknight, weekend Dad?

I’m crap with the present. The night my daughter was born I was panicking about how to throw a 5-year old’s birthday party. I’m getting better though … not with embracing a whole AGE, but embracing moments. Morning snuggles, cute interactions with their dolls, discussions we have about important things like underpants. Daycare… such a big step! Pack some spare undies in that school bag Kev… 😉

Lol @ your two readers!
I’m all about enjoying the ‘now’, it all passes so quickly and you can’t possibly get these moments back. You might even say I live in the past. I miss the days when they didn’t speak and I could enjoy some peace & quiet 😉
And I’ve only just gone back to work, but the last year at home was the fastest of my life, so I don’t think its different for a SAHM.
And, by the way, the second one grows up even faster, so brace yourself!

Like you, I used to spend a lot of time wishing for the next milestone but lately not so much, they change so quick and before you blink a child has replaced your toddler and you’re not quite sure how they got there. Maybe it’s knowing that we’re unlikely to have another child, maybe it’s just me being all melancholy because he turned three yesterday but I’m really wishing I could slow down time right now, just a little, just enough to spent more time in each moment before he’s grown.

I’m terrible at living in the now. So bad, that I’ve made a resolution to be better at living in the moment for this year – so far I’m not being very successful! My little one heads off to centre-based care for the first time this coming Friday and I can’t believe how big she is now – we’re still working on the toilet training but in all other respects she is a really independent little person. As we are not having any more babies this is something I am struggling with right now…I already miss my chubby bubby!

It is hard, I try to be in the NOW, but it is often hard not to think about the future. Especially when they are learning all the time, and you are thinking “I can’t wait until she can xxxxxxx”!

By the way, I am a big advocate for day care, they have so much fun, and learn so much more than I ever have the time to teach them! Miss Z is such a social little butterfly with lots of boyfriends at day care, which apparently she spends the day kissing!! (you better watch out for that too!) 🙂

Bless you Kevin, what a lovely post. I think I notice change all of a sudden. I get used to the daily challenges and most of the time I’m just trying to get through the day. Then all of a sudden I’ll look up and see something new. The latest thing is a new level of play and communication between my girls – it is beautiful to witness.

I’m trying to stay more in the moment. I was wishing that first year away (tandem breastfeeding twins was bloody hard work) but now I look back and fondly think back on the sweet memories like the 3 of us falling asleep mid feed.
It’s like what some people say about parenting, “The days are long but the years just fly by”

This year I’m really going to make an effort NOT to wish time away, my youngest is 16 months, oldest, 4,5 years and they are growing so fast and while they are all so needy, they are just all so adorable and babies. Thanks for the reminder to slow down and enjoy what is right in front of me! Great post 🙂

I was just telling a friend the other day that I was guilty of wishing my kids’ childhoods away. Looking back I see that the years go fast enough, and while planning and being prepared for each milestone is great, it doesn’t change the pace at which those changes come! My baby is 22 this year, and I totally agree with Grace’s comment above. It doesn’t seem that long ago when he was a little boy starting school …and he’s been finished for four years!

I could not agree more with this post. Last night as I cleaned out the playroom in anticipation of Miss O’s return from Australia in 2 days I had a mini breakdown packing away her baby toys. It upset me to think about how much I wished those early years away and now they are gone forever.
Thanks for the reminder to live in the now and for the timeliness of your post, reminding me I am not the only one sitting on a playroom floor crying over stuffed teddy bears 🙂

I totally get this, I have been so aware of how fast time has been going, yet at the same time definitely guilty of looking forward to the next milestone. At the moment I am really hanging for when she actually stops what she is doing when I ask her rather than just looking at me and continuing to do it anyway, but I have I might be waiting a while! I am also looking forward to when she stops doing the runner on me everywhere we go! But I also want time to slow down and sometimes I even wish she was that newborn who couldn’t do anything that I could put down for 2 mins and go to the toilet!

Kevin, what you’re saying is everything a first time parent goes through. We are all so excited to see them grow and do the next thing. Once you have a second (and third and forth…) you really appreciate the moment so much more, because you know just how fast it goes. xx

P1 is about to start school at the end of January. She announced to me the other day that she was “like a teenager”. I was like “nooooooooooo! You’ve got eight years of being a kid before you become a teenager. Don’t you want to enjoy being a kid? Its awesome being a kid”