9/18/2006

A New Spoken Word Album...

Nothing gets me quite as excited as the prospect of hearing a young starlet speaking in public. Their mastery of the english language is so extraordinary that I have to stop what I'm doing and listen. I'm talking about your Hiltons, Lohans, Duffs, Spears, et al - the "cuntivas" (part cunt, part diva) as I like to call them. You know how Shatner did those genius spoken-word albums of pop standards? Well, imagine if these girls did something similar. Let's take a song like "Waving My Dick In The Wind" by Ween and see what it might sound like (original lyrics HERE).

I'm totally, like, lost in the sauce once again, like, I'm lost in, like, the sauce once againIf I, like, make it through, y'know, like, the night, everything will, like totally be alrightBut I'm, like, totally lost in the sauce once again, y'know

It's been, y'know, like 97 days since I've, like, totally laid my head beside youAnd like a million miles of, like, highway in between, y'knowThere's some, like, red and blue lights that are, like, totally shinin' right behind meAnd that pig's a like totally mean bastard

You should have, like, seen old Jimmy Wilson totally danceYou should have totally, like, seen old Jimmy Wilson dance, y'knowGive that boy like a dime and you could, like, totally have a chanceTo see old Jimmy Wilson dance, y'know

Dance JimmyI'm, like, totally doin' the best I can there, DeanerThat's itYou know I can't, like, really dance like I used to, y'know, I mean I, like, try,But I'm, like, a totally old, old man now