"The Rant" by Tom Degan

Welcome to The Rant! Your very own electronic cesspool of naughty, left wing propaganda. MADE IN AMERICA!!!

Monday, January 30, 2012

An International Embarrassment

Do you have any idea how the rest of the world views the train-wreck of American politics and politicians? We're a joke. We should change the words on the Seal of the United States from "E Plurbus Unum" to "Make 'em Laugh". It's gotten that pathetic.

"Newt Gingrichhas already achieved the improbable effect of making Bob Dole look cuddly....When Gingrich started muttering about putting millions of children in orphanages to be raised by a government that he believes can't do anything right, some of my compatriots here on what passes for the left were chilled to the bone."

Molly IvinsNovember 1994.

I miss Molly Ivins.Last week in a piece that appeared on the Huffington Post, Robert Reich (photo left) chided Democrats who were giddy over the prospect of Newt Gingrich getting the nomination at the Republican National Convention this summer. He went on to imply that anybody who would hope for such a thing ought to have his or her head examined. As usual he makes a good point. Robert Reich has a pretty good track record when it comes to making good points, have you ever noticed that?

Part of me (the part that likes jumbo chocolate ice cream cones) is just giddy at the thought of Gingrich getting the nomination of that disgusting party. The other part of me (the part that understands that jumbo chocolate ice cream cones are not particularly good for me) is horrified by the idea.

Twelve years ago I was jumping for joy when the GOP gave their nomination to a half-wit from Crawford, Texas named George W. Bush. "He'll never win in the general election", I remember saying at the time. Turns out I was right. What I didn't realize was that the Bush Mob would be able to steal that election. Who's to say that Newt Gingrich won't be able to do the same thing in 2012? Think about it: All of the pieces (and people) are still in place that would allow history to repeat itself.

NOTE TO THE DEMOCRATS: Be careful what you wish for.

I imagine the that the whole question of a Gingrich candidacy is moot at this point. The Newtster has always had this unfortunate tendency of administering self-inflicted body-blows just as things are going his way. Last week he cheerfully lived up to his reputation. For your reading pleasure:

"By the end of my second term, we will have the first permanent base on the moon. And it will be American....when we have 13,000 Americans living on the moon they can petition to become a state."

Newt Gingrich25 January 2012

Wonderful. He's against Puerto Rican and DC statehood but wants to add the lunar surface to the union. Ain't that a hoot? Ya gotta love the guy. Ya just gotta! Can you even imagine the roar of international laughter that would be heard if any American president was arrogant enough to claim the moon as sovereign US territory? Since that little gaffe last week, Gingrich's poll numbers in Florida have taken a bit of a dip as you might imagine. When your act gets even too weird for the Tea party crowd, it's probably a good idea to pack up and go home. But that's not Newt's style. He's in this for the long haul, baby. If he's going down in flames he's determined to bring his party (and Mitt Romney) down with him (Not that that would be a bad thing you understand). When all the dust has settled his speaking fees will be through the roof . A real class act that Newt.With each passing day Mitt Romney appears more-and-more to be the guy who's going to bring home the big prize at this summer's convention, but you never know. 2012 is turning out to be such a peculiar political year - and it's barely begun. Here's Mitt's problem: The establishment Republicans know damned well that the "base" detests him, and that he's not likely to inspire them to come out en masse on Election day. Also Romney's citation of his Mexican/Cuban heritage in the most recent debate probably didn't do him one bit of good.. It will be just another reason why the half-witted "base" of that disgusting party will not be inspired to come out in droves for him on election day.

A "liberal" Massachusetts Mexican Mormon for president? I can almost hear the tea partiers quivering.This might turn out to be the first convention in a century where the winner of the primary has the nomination denied to him. In 1912 the mantle of standard-bearer was seized from Theodore Roosevelt and handed over to William Howard Taft, leaving the GOP hopelessly split and leading to an easy victory for Democrat Woodrow Wilson. Might history repeat itself? I don't think that this scenario is as far fetched as you might imagine - or is this merely wishful thinking on my part? We shall see.Tom Degantomdegan@frontiernet.net

SUGGESTED LISTENING:

Here is a link to listen to a recording of Theodore Roosevelt from a century ago, recorded during the campaign of 1912:

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Newt's Family Values

It was the Newster all the way in South Carolina last night. This wasn't as big a surprise as you might think. Newt had spent the entire primary subtly pressing all of the right racial buttons and it worked out for him better than even he anticipated I'm sure. You see, South Carolina Republicans don't really care for black people that much. When you enter a place where the Confederate flag still waves proudly over the statehouse, you'll be encountering people with - "issues" shall we say? John McCain learned this lesson the hard way in 2000.

After handily winning in New Hampshire that year, McCain came into South Carolina with a healthy lead over the dim-witted son of a failed ex-president. The Bush Mob were not to be deterred. They spread the nasty rumor that McCain's adopted, dark-skinned daughter was the product of a liaison between him and a black prostitute. It worked. That's just the sort of thing that would work in that state I'm sorry to say. The momentum he had gained heading into the Super Tuesday Primary all-but-died and his campaign was toast from that moment on. Thanks to the stupidity and racism of the average South Carolinian Republican voter, America got saddled with the worst president since James Buchanan. Nice.

From this point on anything can happen - and probably will. Gingrich has an unfortunate tendency of going ballistic and flaming out just as things are beginning to look up for him,and I haven't a doubt in my mind that history will repeat itself very soon. It will probably be Mitt Romney who receives the coronation next summer - but I haven't given up hope for Newt. I want him to get that nomination so badly it makes me drool buckets! Can you imagine what fun his campaign would be to watch? Oh, please, fate!

It matters little at this stage who gets the nomination. It's a fairly safe assumption to say that the election of 2012 is essentially over. Are Romney and Gingrich secretly working for Barack Obama's campaign? That would seem to be the case given their behavior in recent days. They've done so much damage to one another (and their party) that his reelection in November is almost written in the stars.

Here's another thing to take to the bank, boys and girls: Romney (assuming he will be the nominee) will be placed in the same position that McCain was forced into in 2008. In order to bring out "the base" he will be forced to place on the ticket with him someone (like Sarah Palin) who is such a right wing extremist that he or she is in serious danger of falling off of the face of the earth. Remember how well that worked out for them last time 'round? As it did four years ago, the choice of running mate will scare the living shit out of moderate Americans.Just you wait and see.

Here are the Cliff Notes: The Republican party is imploding before our very eyes. Life is beautiful.

Which brings me back to the thrice-married Newt: In an eleventh-hour interview with Marianne (the secondMrs. Gingrich) in which she revealed that when she found out about Newt's affair with Barbi-doll-wannabe Callista (the third Mrs. Gingrich) Newt informed the poor gal that from that point on, he wanted their marriage to be an "open" one. Shortly after she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, Newt served Mariannewith divorce papers - much in the same manner he had served the cancer-stricken Jackie (the first Mrs. Gingrich)with divorce papers a decade earlier. The day after he unloaded the bad news on her, Newt gave a speech highlighting the traditional values of American families.

Are you following this?

Newt's history as a serial marrier did didn't mean a thing to the "Family Values" mob in South Carolina, All that matters to these clowns is the fact that old Newt really despises thatBig, Black, Bolshevik Boogieman in the White House. That's good enough for them. He told these nutty people that he didn't merely want to bloody Barack Obama's nose, he wanted to "knock him out". Bop the coon! He'd have done much better in the final tally had he just told this crowd that he was in the mood for a good old fashion lynching. String 'im up!!! That would have brought out the base alright - in droves.

But he did the next best thing. By constantly referring to "food stamps" and "welfare", Gingrich lassoed the imaginations of these jackasses and was able to paint a black face on nearly every issue. He knows that the only way the Republicans are going to take back the White House next January will be by appealing to the very worst in America's historical character - and Newt Gingrich is the world's outstanding authority on the subject of bad character. All he needs to do is exploit the irrational prejudice toward the most oppressed people in the history of the human race. And to do so under the guise that he has the Almighty on his side? My goodness. Hell must be beckoning.

If there's any doubt in your mind that 2012 is going to be the nastiest political year of our lifetime all I can tell you is, hang onto your hats, folks. This is gonna get ugly. Very ugly indeed. It might very well get violent in some places. This Tea party crowd has lost their minds. As Al Jolson liked to say in his day, "You ain't seen nothin' yet!"

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I-Ronnie of I-Ronnies

"Where collective bargaining is forbidden, freedom is lost."

-Ronald Reagan

I'm almost at a loss for words. Who knows whether or not Reagan really meant what he was saying when he made the statement. My guess is that he did not. That utterance was made during the campaign of 1980. Candidates say a lot of things they don't really mean. Less than a year later when as president he fired the air traffic controllers, he pretty much hammered yet another nail into the coffin of collective bargaining in this country. Still, it speaks untold volumes that thirty-two years ago a Republican candidate could say such a thing and not lose an ounce of support from "the base".It also perfectly illustrates the devolution of "the party of Abraham Lincoln".

Thirty-one years ago this coming Friday, the American people sent to the White House a corrupt, feeble-minded, failed "B" movie actor. Do you wanna hear the punchline? The Republican party has sunk so deep into the ideological cesspool since January 20, 1981, Ronald Reagan is starting to look like Theodore Roosevelt! As Jack Parr was fond of saying in his day, "I kid you not."Isn't life strange?

During Ronald Reagan's reign of error I was living in New York City. I was really into writing song parodies then. I would occasionally perform them on the guitar at a place I loved which was right around the corner from where I lived - Ye Olde Tripple Inn on West 54th Street - directly across from the fabled Studio 54, a place I never frequented. One of the songs I lampooned was called "And Nixon, I Miss You". It was sung to the tune of Bobby Goldboro's 1968 hit, the delightfully maudlin "Honey"

One time I thought that Richard Nixon's Presidency was the worst thing possibleBut that was many years agoand nowadays that sentiment seems laughableIn nineteen-eighty somehowthe electorate coughed up a brain-dead movie starI never had faith in the votersbut I never realized how dumb they are

And Nixon I miss youand I'm feeling blueI've lost all of my sensesI'm nostalgic for you

That was then. This is now.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way reformulating my opinion of Reagan or his presidency. As I've said too many times to count, the damage that the hideous old freak did to this once great nation is so immense it will never be accurately assessed. It is incalculable. After all, it was the insane policies of deregulation championed by Ronald Wilson Reagan that set us upon the road toward the economic mess we find ourselves in today. He told us he could increase spending, cut taxes and balance the budget - and that he would do it by 1982! Anyone with a remedial grasp of arithmetic knew what utter bullshit that was. The reason his successor George H.W. Bush was defeated in his reelection bid by an unknown named Bill Clinton was because he was forced to raise taxes ("revenue enhancers"he calledthem) in an attempt to clean up the mess he inherited from Reagan.

And I'm also not implying that I "miss" Ronald Reagan anymore than I was missing Richard Nixon when I wrote that parody in 1988. It's just that (Jeez Louise) the two of them are starting to look pretty good - at least when placed in comparison to the insanity junkies who now populate that disgusting party. Imagine that you're a kid who's just arrived home from kindergarten. You switch on the TV to find that Bozo the Clown has been replaced by the John Wayne Gacy Show. It's kinda the same thing.

And see the debt how big it's grownBut friends it hasn't been to long it wasn't bigIn early nineteen-eighty oneThe debt that's now a redwood tree was just a twig

What a difference three decades makes.

This is sheer speculation on my part but I imagine that even a dirty old dingbat like Ronnie would be horrified to see where the so-called "Reagan Revolution" has taken us. Then again maybe not. It was always hard to figure out where der Gipper was coming from. Even his own children couldn't figure the old bugger out. He was always an aloof and distant figure to them, even when he was present. I just learned something this morning that floored me. On the day his half-witted kid Michael was married, his dad and Nancy opted out of the festivities and went instead to Tricia Nixon's wedding at the White House! It makes one seriously wonder about the man's inner character.

When even some "liberals" are expressing a sense of teary-eyed nostalgia for the likes of Ronald Reagan, that's all the proof you need to understand that the political wheels have come off the planet. And the fact that a Casper Milquetoast moderate like Barack Obama is viewed by many as a left wing radical is further proof that the American people have lost their bearings - to put it as mildly as possible.

The fact of the matter is that the dead conservatives of another era - Barry Goldwater, Nixon and Reagan - could not get nominated to run as sewer inspectors in the current environment of the grand old party. At the end of his life Goldwater had turned his back on the right wing movement - a movement he helped bring into being when he was nominated by the Republicans at the convention of 1964. And remember, this was a man who in his day was known as "Mr. Conservative"! That speaks volumes, doesn't it? It's a good thing for Barry that he didn't live to see the Tea party - although I do wish Reagan had lived to see a black man in the White House. The very sight of Obama in the Oval Office would have given the old racist a fatal case of spastic apoplexy. That would have been oodles of fun to watch. Can you imagine?

Unless they succeed in stealing a whole lot of elections this November (Don't put it past them; they're working on it as I write these words) 2012 is not going to be a particularly good year for the Republican party. It's a fairly safe bet that the Democrats will be able to take back the House in spite of themselves. Not that I'm jumping with joy over that little prediction. The best that can be said of these present-day Dems is that they're not quite as incompetent as the GOP. Certainly they're not one/tenth as corrupt as them. We can only hope that the new batch of freshmen won't be in the pockets of corporate America. We can also pray they remember that they are in fact the party of Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Yeah, right.

Did you ever think you'd live to see the day when this once-great nation would be reduced to such a sorry and pathetic state? Hold onto your hats, kiddies! The worst is yet to come! Somewhere, Ronald Reagan must be laughing.

Tom DeganGoshen, NYtomdegan@frontiernet.net

AFTERTHOUGHT:

This is a paragraph I wrote on this site about three years ago:

"What must be remembered is that Ronald Reagan was essentially a mask, with a twinkle in it's eye and a fine, Irish smile. Remove that mask and what is revealed is the twisted, hideous smirk of George W. Bush. That's the real face of the 'Reagan Revolution'".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8stkqssLYcIn 1939, a group of writers and animators at Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer came together to produce this little gem. How it got past the eye of uber right winger Louis B. Mayer (head of the studio) is anybody's guess.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The 2012 Shoo-in - Maybe

Well over a year ago I predicted on this site that the religious bigots and crazy people who long ago hijacked the "the party of Abraham Lincoln" would never nominate Mormon Mitt Romney. "David Duke will be named head of the NAACP before that ever happens" I speculated at the time. It appears that I might be forced to eat a healthy dish of crowon the occasion of Mitt's victory in the New Hampshire Primary last night. This is not to imply that the half-witted "base" of that party are happy about what happened last evening. Anything but. Let me put it to you this way: The Republicans just got the news that they're pregnant and they're trying to fall in love as rapidly as possible.

Yes, with the honorable exception of Jon Huntsman, the most impressive GOP candidate to come along since Teddy Roosevelt a century ago, the contenders for the nomination were just too bat-shit crazy for even the right wing to stomach. That takes some doing.

Although the polls show Romney with a healthy edge in the South Carolina primary on January 21, it is by no means a done deal. Anything can happen in that state and usually does. John McCain learned that lesson the hard way in 2000. At this moment, the Gingrich campaign is bombarding the palmetto state with an anti-Romney propaganda blitzkrieg so fierce it's liable to take a heavy toll. Whether or not it will prove fatal is open for speculation.

Which brings me to the nasty subject of Newt Gingrich. He will probably save the Obama campaign a million or more in advertising this year by making the case for them why Mitt Romney should never be sent to the White House. The Republican "cause" - such as it is - means not a damned thing to him. He can't be so delusional that he honestly believes that he'll ever be president. His is a scorched earth, take-no-prisoners policy. The only thing that matters to Newt is Newt. If he has to bring the Republican party down in flames with him, so be it. GO FOR IT, NEWT!

"I love firing people"

-Mitt RomneyNew Hampshire primary, 9 January 2012

That little Freudian slip didn't do him much good. As someone pointed out recently, Mitt Romney doesn't "create" jobs. He cremates them. The jolly good work he did for Bain Capital all those years ago by buying up companies and liquidating them - throwing thousands of people out of work in the process - will surely come back to haunt him when he faces President Obama in the general election. It was a very telling - albeit unfortunate - choice of words. It is what defines Mitt and his party. It's all about making the largest amount of profit for the smallest number of people. Who gives a shit if their policies wreck havoc over the social landscape of the nation? Money is everything. Chris Matthews has compared him to the Gordon Gekko character played by Michael Douglas in the film "Wall Street". It's an apt comparison to be sure. Greed is very good indeed to these clowns.

Assuming he will be the 2012 nominee, Romney has a few hurdles to overcome. Let's face some uncomfortable facts here, campers; even his own people can't stand him. He doesn't come off as the most sincere guy - and that's being generous. In fact he's the most superficial candidate who ever sought the office. He reminds a few people of the host of some lame, 1970's game show. He's not likely to inspire "the base" to show up at the polls en masse. Not only is his religion a hindrance, but there's also the fact that this former governor of "Taxachusetts" is seen by these knuckleheads as the worst kind of bleeding heart liberal. Isn't that a hoot? And you wonder why I get such a kick out of politics.But it's not as if Barack Obama himself doesn't have an uphill fight to deal with. His position at the moment is envious despite the economic mess - which he inherited. His problem is that the Governors and legislators of Republican-controlled states all over the country have been passing unconstitutional laws that will make it nearly impossible for the people who tend to vote Democratic to pass their ballots in November. Their reason is the non-existent plague of voter fraud. Although I'm placing my money on Obama, I'm certainly not going to bet the farm on him.

The president also has the problem of the Democratic base to deal with. He's been a huge disappointment in too many areas to count. I can understand the frustration people are feeling. I would only hope that traditional Democratic voters will remember that the alternatives to Obama are just too depressing to even think about. Maybe in a second term he'll start behaving like a real progressive. Maybe.

This much is certain: 2012 will be the most interesting political year of our lifetimes. To paraphrase Pete Townsend:

"Gotta feeling 2012 is gonna be a weird year."

Indeed it will be. Fasten your seat belts.

Tom DeganGoshen, NYtomdegan@frontiernet.net

SUGGESTED VIEWING

Paris at Midnighta Film by Woody Allen

If you love Woody Allen you'll love his new film, just out on DVD. If you don't, you won't. That's the curious thing about Woody. There seems to be no middle ground.

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

And the winner is - Santoromney?

Look! Up in the sky! It's Mitt! It's Rick! NO! IT'S SANTOROMNEY!!!

So Mitt Romney is pleased aspunch afterbeating Rick Santorum in the Iowa caucuses by a mere eight votes, huh? Mitt's jubilation needs to be placed in check. To end up in a virtual tie with a basket case like poor old Rick is an ominous portent of things to come I'm afraid. With the South Carolina primaries just around the corner, Willard Mitt should be getting fat with worry. And who would blame him? The jackasses in that state who identify themselves as "Republicans" are so out-of-touch with fundamental reality, they perceive a conservative hack like Mitt as a radical left-winger. And you wonder why I get such a kick out of politics? Life is beautiful.

FLASH! THE MIDWEST IS THE NEW DEEP SOUTH!Another example of the spreading intellectual rot of the United States of America; a country which at one time (Hold onto your hats, generation Xers!) was the best place in the world in which to live. It's not anymore. It ain't even close. Still, we do have the best reality shows on the planet. Stand proud, America!

It boggles the senses that so many voters in the Hawkeye State would have bothered to venture out in the freezing weather to vote for any of these clowns. Their sense of civicresponsibility truly astounds. If I had my way, the first caucus would be held in Wisconsin. Those folks have awakened to what is being done to the working people of this country. Iowans obviously haven't a clue.

I fail to understand the importance that is being given to the Iowa caucuses. Does anyone seriously believe that a relatively isolated state near the center of the country is a microcosm of American ideals and political opinion? Or that the people who live there - a lot of whom are just-a-tad reactionary, uninformed and out of touch - are an indication of who the nominee will be? With regard to the Republican caucus, Iowa has a fairly reliable history of getting it wrong. I strongly suspect that the "momentum" that Mitt 'n' Rick will be receiving out of their "victories" won't amount to a hill of garbanzo beans in the long run.

"I don't want to make black people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money. I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money."

Rick SantorumSioux City, IowaJanuary 1, 2012

Ohhh, Lawdy! Lawdy! Thank you, massah!

Ah, Rick! What an asshole. That a halfwit like Rick Santorum can go as far as he's gone proves only that this really is a white man's world. It also shows a Herculean act of desperation on his part to play the race card in Iowa of all places - a state with fewer African Americans than any other in the union - about two percent. Take that moronically insensitive comment as a sneak preview of what's in store for us as the Hilarious Campaign of 2012 gets underway. No doubt about it, kids, this is gonna get ugly. You don't want a front row seat for this fight; it's liable to get a bit messy. The mezzanine is your best bet.

The right wing wants to take back 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue so badly, nothing's going to stand in their way, not even common decency. They can't win on the basis of their ideas because those ideas are beyond reprehensible. The only chance they have is by appealing to the darkest dysfunction in white America's tormented soul: its irrational fear of the dreaded KNEE-GROW. The Republican governors of thirty-four states are now in the process of "legally" denying them the vote by mandating that they purchase voter ID's. This is what is known as a "poll tax" - and it was ruled unconstitutional almost a half-century ago. Oh, yeah, this is gonna get very ugly indeed.

PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE:

No race of people in the history of this country have suffered more - and with less good reason - than have our fellow citizens of African heritage. I would imagine that there is a special place in hell for any politician who would exploit white America's paranoia simply for political gain.

NOTE TO THE GOP: Knock it off.

If you had any doubt that the Roberts Court's obscene Citizens United ruling of two years ago might seriously harm our republic, those doubts should have been dispelled in Iowa. I never thought I would live to see the day when I would feel a tinge of sympathy for the likes of Newt Gingrich but - so help me Mitch Miller - that day has come. For the past week Romney's super-secret, political action committee has bombarded the Iowan airwaves with anti-Newt propaganda. Gingrich's popularity, which had been rising in recent weeks, crumbled amid the onslaught. We don't know who paid for those ads. We may never know. The court of John Roberts has seen to that.

So it's off to New Hampshire and South Carolina. I must admit to you that I'm feelin' just a little blue at the moment. None of the candidates I was praying for (the bat-shit crazy ones) will be getting the nomination. Herman Cain is gone and forgotten. Rick Perry has headed home to Texas to "think things over". Maybe he'll be back. Maybe not.

Ron Paul's campaign is still in full-tilt-boogie mode. It has recently been revealed that in the eighties, the congressman was responsible for some perfectly hideous, racist newsletters. I find it quite interesting that his opponents for the GOP nod are using every issue they can think of to bring him down a notch or two - every issue but that one. It's not too difficult to figure out the reason for this. Ron Paul is a reactionary racist? That would make him VERY appealing to the knuckleheads who constitute the "base" of that disgusting party. Can't have that, can we.

Just an hour ago as of this writing Michele Bachmann announced that she will be "suspending" her campaign. She has seen the writing on the wall I suppose. At some of her appearances over the weekend, the crowd numbers were in the single digits. And she was born in Iowa! This is a real let-down. I was pinning my hopes on her candidacy more than anyone's. Can you imagine what a scream her campaign might have been? Alas, it was never meant to be. I'm gonna miss Michele like nobody's business. All of that sweet, accidental humor is now ashes to the wind. I wonder what the future holds in store for her. FOX Noise? Dancing with the Stars? Reality TV? I can see her hosting a game show: The Price is Reich.

It's time to wind up the masqueradeJust make your mind up, the piper must be paidThe party's over; it's all over, my friend....

My male friends have always been puzzled by my indifference to sports. This is true. I can probably count on the fingers of one hand the number of articles in the sports pages that I have read in my life. It is also a sad indicator that, as a political writer, I'll never be considered Hall of Fame material. The great ones - every single one of them - were all stone-cold sports fans. But what good is sports when compared to the incredible spectacle that comes only once every four years - the race to the White House??? No contest comes close to it in terms of a pure adrenaline rush. None.

Thompson and Crouse were both correspondents for Rolling Stone Magazine during the McGovern/Nixon race of 1972. Their respective memoirs of that campaign are essential reading for any self-respecting political junkie.I'm happy to say that both books are still in print.

AFTERTHOUGHT:

Rick Perry has just announced that he will be entering the South Carolina primary. YES!!!