Saturday, February 6, 2010

Adpotion

So tonight we shared with our family, and now I share with you, that Aaron and I have made the joyful decision to adopt a baby boy from Ethiopia. For years now Aaron has had the heart to adopt, but I wasn't quite there. I thought it was a beautiful thing, but never saw myself doing it. Over the years God has planted seeds here and there with me, and just over the last 6 months, those seeds have taken root and grown into this deep passion and also burden for the fatherless. For many years now, I have dreamed of having a little boy. In my dreams he was blond haired, blue-eyed with small freckles on his sweet face that mirrored his daddy's image. This was a deep desire that sometimes brought me to tears. I LOVE my sweet girls with my whole heart. They are too too precious to me, but I still wanted a little boy too. In church one Sunday morning, a woman shared her testimony about her journey to India and her little girl she had adopted there. At the end of the service, we saw this little girl, who is now I'm guessing 7 or 8, run up and give her mom the biggest hug. It was so powerful to us. God really really used that testimony to touch both Aaron's and my heart. I think He used that testimony to ignite a flame in us that he had already started to spark in us years back. To tell our whole entire testimony about why Ethiopia and why should we adopt would take forever typed out. What I will say is that this is completely not of me. This is one of those undeniable God moments where He completely changes your heart. He didn't just change our hearts, He gave us His heart. My dreams of having that little blue-eyed boy slowly started to change. Some days I would find myself dreaming about a little brown-skinned boy with soft black curly hair and big brown eyes and a smile that could melt your heart. There were other days when that fear would creep in and I would doubt that I could be a mother to an orphan. But, as I shared in an earlier post, Aaron and I surrendered that fear over to the Lord, and honestly since then haven't been the same. Now there is absolultely no doubt. Before when I did have that doubt, God would confirm that this is what I am calling you to do over and over again. This is what I am doing in yours and Aaron's heart. After letting go of that fear, it's been a whole new thing. It's been so exciting and I've had this feeling of urgency to get started and not to wait. I absolutely dream all the time of my little brown-skinned boy. My son who I can not wait to meet. I know he will have 2 sisters that will love him whole-heartedly, and a mom and dad who will love him unconditionally. It's true what they say, God puts desires and dreams in your hearts. And He wants to give you the desires of your heart. But with God, most of the time it doesn't look exactly like you initially think it should. It's oftentimes different on the outside, but so much better than you could have ever imagined or dreamed of. That's just how awesome He is! He goes above and beyond when He pours out His blessings.