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Missed Deals in Portland

Like waking a hibernating bear, waking a dormant stomach causes violent growls that can only be silenced by slices of pizza and 20 minutes of gentle patting. Ward off vicious appetites with today's Groupon: for $10, you get $20 worth of pizza, calzones, salads, beer and more at Mellow Mushroom. Mell…

Like a shrewd defense attorney, a spray tan can provide the plausible alibi of a Caribbean vacation. Achieve a skin tone to match the bronze scales of justice with today's Groupon to Ambiance Tan in Vancouver, Washington. Choose between the following options: For $25, you get two personalized airbru…

Mastering a peerless golf swing requires intense concentration on the arc of the club and a healthy disregard for the condition of your neighbor's statue garden. Control your projectile's path with today's Groupon: for $15, you get a punch card for three large buckets of driving-range balls at Tuala…

Sigmund Freud once said, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar," at which point he mistakenly attempted to light the lollipop dangling from his lower lip. Dig into the psychology of stogies with today's Groupon to Pearl Specialty Market & Spirits. Choose from the following options: For $20, you get a c…

Air is the most important ingredient of any beach ball, scuba tank, or make-believe turkey dinner. Discover some of air's entertaining uses with today's Groupon to JJ Jump and JJ Extreme, with locations in Clackamas and Vancouver. Choose between the following options: For $10, you get four open-jump…

Precisely placed needles have long been thought to boost the immune system and treat chronic health conditions, an idea first explored after the observation that pine trees rarely sneeze. Feel fresh again with today's Groupon: for $29, you get a two-hour acupuncture treatment at Oswego Progressive M…

Bodies that are properly cared for perform better, which explains why most Olympic records are held by reanimated mummies. Go for the pharaoh's gold with today's Groupon: for $9, you get two tickets to the Healthy Living and Gluten Free Expo at the Salem Conference Center on Saturday, November 26, f…

Like a 128-pack of crayons, a buffet dinner offers an array of colorful options irresistible to starving artists. Load up your plate palette with today's Groupon: for $14, you get an all-you-can-eat dinner for two with drinks (a $13.87 value each for dinner; a $10.62 value each for lunch) at Yummy M…

Spanish-Style Inns with Cozy Comforts near Oceanfront The basalt surface of Haystack Rock juts out hundreds of feet above the sand and surf on the Cannon Beach oceanfront like a monolith, leaving an unmistakable silhouette that defines the nearby coastline. North of the landmark and one block inland…

Helicopter pilots are in constant danger of action stars climbing aboard their craft and throwing them out; kayakers, however, need only fear falling helicopter pilots. Steer an unstealable vessel with today's Groupon: for $32, you get a Hot Apple Cider tour from Kayak Tillamook County (a $65 value)…

Like cars, hairstyles come in many different colors, require regular maintenance, and should be taken to a qualified professional when they start smoking. Take your tresses to a trained technician with today's Groupon to The Strand at Sola Salon. Choose from the following options: For $15, you get a…

Go-karts allow people to experience the thrill of driving without having to hear radio ads for pungent soaps or look at four empty seats that remind them of the time someone stole their family of mannequins. Keep thrills pure with today's Groupon: for $20, you get a go-kart outing for two at Malibu …

Yoga emphasizes seamless transition between poses, a skill set adopted by the Navy to teach cursive flag semaphore to its sailors. Spell out serene stances with today's Groupon to Yoga NW. Choose between the following options: For $20, you get one month of unlimited yoga (a $110 value). For $49, you…

Humans are constantly searching for ways to reduce their size in order to fit into old pairs of jeans or fit through cracks in the floorboards. Shrink in circumference with today's Groupon: for $79, you get a weight-loss package (a $370 value) at MediPro Direct Slim. Choose from locations in Auburn,…

Although evergreen trees represent the holiday spirit, they are also the bullies of the arboreal world, taunting their deciduous counterparts by name-dropping Santa and hogging all the cute squirrels. Imbue ornery trees with cheer with today's Groupon: for $59, you get a hand-delivered Fraser fir Ch…

The right lighting and a professional photographer can ensure that portraits are free of background tire fires. Capture your best side for all time with today's Groupon: for $65, you get a boudoir photo-shoot package at PDX Boudoir Portraits by Nina Sage (a $249 total value). The package includes th…

Hockey teams are often named after intimidating natural phenomena, such as the Tampa Bay Lightning, the Colorado Avalanche, and the Tuscaloosa Puberty. Experience the fury with today's GrouponLive deal: for $29, you get two tickets to see a Portland Winterhawks hockey game (a $58 value) at the Rose …

Without dance, people could only hum along to the "Macarena," and Jane Austen characters would be forced to say what was really on their minds. Let movements speak with today's Groupon to PulsePDX, valid at two Portland locations. Choose between the following options: For $10, you get 5 Zumba classe…

Like amateur magicians, childhood toys are full of old gimmicks and appear to wince when sawn in half. Enlist a dependable new plaything instead with today's Groupon: for $19, you get a 6-In-1 solar educational toy from Eco Educational Toys (a $39 value). The $3.99 shipping fee is not included in to…

Professional bowlers bowl not forcefully but gingerly, lending the ball spin and preserving the unhatched robin eggs inside every pin. Strike softly with today's Groupon: for $25, you get a bowling outing for up to six at Park Lanes Family Entertainment Center in Hillsboro (up to a $75 value). The o…

The flotation tank gained popularity among pacifists in the 1970s as a peaceful alternative to the dunk tank. Make waves, not war, with today's Groupon: for $29, you get a 90-minute float therapy treatment at Mudra Massage (a $60 value). Soundless tranquility soothes visitors into meditative states …

The invention of the horseless carriage revolutionized transportation and forced horses to settle for jobs as professional carousel riders. Keep cars running and horses standing with today's Groupon to Cascade Auto Glass. Choose between the following options: For $39, you get three windshield-chip r…

Cellulite is a dimpling of the skin that universally affects women, men, and children who sleep in beds made out of golf balls. Even out epidermises with today's Groupon: for $26, you get a pair of weight-loss hot pants from Zaggora (a $71.86 value). Shipping is $7.50 within the contiguous United St…

Before their discovery by med spas, lasers were used exclusively for slicing turkeys during space Thanksgiving. Give thanks for lasers with today's Groupon to Islands Tanning Med Spa in Tualatin. Choose from the following options: For $129, you get six laser hair-removal treatments on any one small …

Customizing your own property is a time-consuming process that often yields illegible monograms and valuable works of art with your dental records stapled to them. Attach a sensible, personal touch with today's Groupon: for $15, you get $60 worth of printed products ordered online from Vistaprint. F…