Monday, May 26, 2008

its like i want to make somethingpunch something elsesenselessly and loyally and without stoppingover and over againuntil there is nothing leftthere will be holes in somethingthere will be cuts on somethingthere will not be anything leftand whatever it is that punches willturn on me and punch me in the mouthi will wonder why until i realizethat i'm something elsewith bruises too

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Tom Waits and Jerry Seinfeld walk into a barJerry owns this barJerry asks Tom if he likes the placeTom doesn't directly reply, instead he says"A red bird just flew by outside"This was before they walked insideJerry doesn't remember the bird, insteadhe orders a cosmopolitan from the bartenderhe doesn't have to payTom orders a beer and, uncharacteristically, doesn't payHe is a guest of Jerry SeinfeldHe doesn't have to pay if he doesn't want toJerry sips on his cosmoTom drinks his beerHe talks to the bartenderHe asks him questions like"Do you watch much television?"Tom asks this in his typical whiskey-soaked voiceThe bartender replies"Only what's on the TV sets in the bar"Tom watches the television in front of himIt's a human interest piece about the homelessTom takes another drink from his beer bottleand doesn't ask the bartender any more questionsJerry is talking to his celebrity friends.Tom is nervous on the stool, afraid that those other peoplewill recognize him or his voiceHe asks the bartender one more question"Do you notice the birds in the summer?"The bartender replies"Is it summer already?"Tom nods and walks over to Jerryand, characteristically, smashes the bottle over Jerry's headin front of his famous friendsJerry stands with his arms spread and head cut openHis friends ask him "Did Tom Waits just hit you with a beer bottle?"Jerry doesn't replyTom walks out of the bar. He sees a bum wino and gives him a twenty dollar bill.The bum says "Thanks" and walks awayHe doesn't recognize the man who gave him the money

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Anyone who says that love is the opposite of warHas never been in a war or watched the news tosee family members turn over corpses carelessly, lookingfor the corpse that belongs to them.There is love in that and carelessness too.The same goes for peace. A soldier witha cigarette in his mouth may be most peacefulwhen he can see his target clearly and the triggerhas already been warmed by his index finger. Peaceis difficult to explain to the soldier who loves hiswife, daughter, and rifle, in that order.

Too

I think the opposite of war is difficult to explain tooIt would be something like free-form jazz, or astronomy yes astronomy becauseOuter Space is the opposite of warThere are no bullets in spaceThere are no Nazi’s in spaceThat sounds funny to me. Nazi’s in space.Supposedly Adolf Hitler was nearly aborted by his motherWhatever gets the job done, Mrs. Hitler!I like jokes that are created from fear and misunderstanding like thatbut political satire is still political and makes me feel guilty fornot being political enough or satirical enough

Tree

Some things that are supposed to ‘inspire’ meAre either dull or soul-crushing or both, like books andDocumentaries about children who are trained to bekillers for terrorists and fascists and other groups of peoplewho are afraid and don’t understand themselves or anyone else.All those books and movies do is remind me how terriblePeople can be to other people, and even worse is that I aminspired with fear of orphans and children with AK-47's

Fower

Whenever I see people get shot on television I noticethe placement of the camerathe way the light seems to focus together at the end of the barrelright before the bullet pushes the brain through the skull through the skinI would say something like The setting really added a lot of dignityTo his deathBut no one really diedSuicide is still very dignified, right?

Fife

Sometimes I wish that aliens existed. Not just one type of alien,But many types of alien, all of them terrifyingly intelligent, all of themFighting each other and killing each other for not being the righttype of alien. Then all these aliens would converge here, on this planet,and they would laugh at our bodies, and they would laugh at our primitive weaponsAnd then they would see a human body with a primitive gun destroy another human body, andThey would piss their alien pants and run away screaming, wonderinghow we ruthless alien earthlings could do something like thatAnd then they would blow up the planetFor obvious reasons