My Boyfriend Doesn’t Compliment Me: What Does It Mean?

Are you one of the girls who is thinking “my boyfriend doesn’t compliment me and I don’t know why”?

Unfortunately, this is a pretty common issue in relationships so you definitely are not alone. I wrote about this topic because I want to make sure you understand why you might not be getting the compliments you think you should be getting.

First, we’ll talk about its meaning and then we’ll look at what you can do about this problem.

​What Does It Mean If Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Compliment You?

There are a number of different meanings behind your boyfriend’s lack of compliments for you. These reasons are not definite for all guys so don’t jump to any conclusions. Your guy might have different reasons for not complimenting you.

For one, it could mean that he isn’t thinking about complimenting you. He might be overlooking it or be too busy to say something. He may not think that these compliments are necessary, especially if you’ve been dating for a while.

It might mean that he doesn’t know if you like these compliments. Consider whether you have seemed excited when your boyfriend compliments you. He will be more encouraged to continue complimenting you if he sees that it makes you happy.

Your boyfriend might be avoiding using compliments about your body and your looks. This could be because he wants to show you that he cares more about your personality.

If your boyfriend isn’t complimenting you, there’s no need to think that he doesn’t find you attractive or that he doesn’t love you. There’s likely another reason that he doesn’t compliment you.

​Is Your Boyfriend Cheating If He Doesn’t Compliment You?

Just because your boyfriend seems to be less interested in you or is trying less in the relationship doesn’t mean that he is with someone else.

Sometimes, when we are pretty upset about stuff like this, we jump to conclusions and assume the worst. In reality, most of these concerns are blown way out of proportion.

If your boyfriend isn’t complimenting you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is cheating on you. He likely has a good reason for the number of compliments he’s been giving you.

Now, the lack of compliments alone is not a cause for alarm that he could be cheating. There’s always a chance that your boyfriend could be cheating on you. If you notice this along with a number of other potential signs of cheating, then he could be.

If he has simply stopped complimenting you, but everything else seems fine, you have nothing major to worry about.

​Has He Ever Complimented You?

You should think about the frequency of his compliments. Some guys compliment their girlfriend a lot at the beginning of a relationship. This is usually when a lot of the flirting happens too.

Sometimes, guys—and girls—forget to continue flirting and complimenting each other. This is totally normal and it’s okay.

You just need to think about how things were when you first started dating. If he complimented you back then, there’s not really a reason he shouldn’t do the same now.

If he hasn’t ever complimented you, he may not know exactly what to say. Compliments are similar to flirting. They can be intimidating if you haven’t complimented someone or flirted with someone before.

He may just require some encouragement to compliment you. This isn’t a bad thing. He might not know how to compliment you and may not be comfortable with it. This will simply take some getting used to.

If he used to compliment you and has suddenly stopped, something may have changed in your relationship. This should be talked about and resolved.

​What Can You Do If Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Compliment You?

You have a few options if you’re upset about your boyfriend not complimenting you. One of the best choices is to focus on complimenting him to see if he will do the same in return. Sometimes, people just need an example or some encouragement.

Simply throw in some sweet compliments throughout the day while you’re texting or talking. These little compliments will lift your boyfriend up and they might encourage him to compliment you too.

You should also bring up this issue with your boyfriend. He needs to know what is going on. Sometimes, people don’t even notice relationship issues. It’s your job to bring them up.

If you let this problem go unsolved, it’s only going to get worse. Catching it early can make a big difference and help you guys out as a couple.

You can’t really force your boyfriend to compliment you if he doesn’t want to so be aware of this. Sending him cute selfies as a way to get compliments isn’t the best choice. Plus, those compliments won’t be truly genuine.

​How Should You Talk to Your Boyfriend About Wanting Compliments?

If you’re going to mention this to your boyfriend, you do need to be careful. You don’t want to seem like you are fishing for compliments. You should approach the topic lightly.

Simply mention that you noticed that he hasn’t been complimenting you as much as he used to. You can also explain how these compliments make you feel and why you like them so much. If he understands why you’re bringing this up, he might be more receptive.

It can be beneficial to give him examples of the compliments you would like to hear. To make this less about you, you can ask him what compliments he would like you to give him. This may be affecting you more, but it’s about your relationship and includes both of you.

One approach to avoid is accusing your boyfriend. Yes, he should be complimenting you. He especially won’t want to if he feels like he did something wrong. Plus, this automatically turns a calm discussion into an argument.

It’s important to watch your boyfriend’s responses and body language as you talk about this. If he seems to be getting upset, you should stop to comfort him or to check on him. If he seems angry, encourage him to take a break. You know him best so use your best judgment.

​How to Avoid Pressuring Your Boyfriend to Compliment You

When you’re asking your boyfriend to compliment you more often, you want to make sure that he doesn’t feel forced to do so. It’s okay to ask him for compliments or to flirt more often.

If your boyfriend feels pressured to compliment you all the time, he won’t be doing it out of love. He will be doing it to avoid an argument or to keep you happy temporarily. This won’t be resolving the actual issue though. Plus, his compliments won’t be coming from his heart.

When you talk to your boyfriend, try to keep it simple. Let him know that it would mean a lot to you if he would compliment you more often. You can also use this time to investigate why he might not be complimenting you.

The main reason your boyfriend shouldn’t feel pressured to compliment you is that you want his compliments to be genuine.

Some girls might argue this. They might say that a boyfriend is doing what his girlfriend wants him to in order to make her happy. This is true, but your boyfriend still might feel forced. You don’t want this to happen. You want him to compliment you when he wants to.

​Should You Be Complimenting Your Boyfriend?

In a relationship, you should strive for equality. This will ensure that you are both treated fairly. One way to do this is by making sure that you and your boyfriend are both making each other feel appreciated.

You should be complimenting your boyfriend as much as he is complimenting you. This shows that both of you are interested in each other.

If your boyfriend is the only one complimenting you, he may feel discouraged. He may not think that you feel the same way about him, which can make him think you don’t want to be complimented.

If you’re complimenting your boyfriend, he should feel loved and cared for. These compliments can make a big difference in your relationship.

When you’re both putting in this effort, you will be able to continue growing in your relationship. When you two care about each other this much, your relationship is just going to keep getting better.

​How Can You Compliment Your Boyfriend?

There are lots of ways to compliment your boyfriend. It’s not too complicated to come up with good compliments, but not everyone knows how to do this.

You should compliment your boyfriend when he’s doing a great job or when he’s feeling down. You can compliment your boyfriend at any time to brighten his day. A sweet little message can go a long way.

You can compliment his appearance. You might say that you like the way his new shirt looks on him. You could say that you love how his eyes sparkle in the sun. Find some of your favorite physical characteristics and point them out to him!

You can also compliment the person he is underneath his skin. Tell him how much you admire his work ethic or how you love his caring personality. Again, you can personalize these compliments to your boyfriend and his strengths.

Another idea is to ask your boyfriend which compliments he likes. Maybe he loves it when you notice the effort that he puts into his outfits.

If he does give you some input, remember to use these compliments. They will go a long way!

This video shows some ways you can compliment your boyfriend:

​How to Know If Your Boyfriend is Still Attracted to You

One concern if your boyfriend isn’t complimenting you is that he isn’t attracted to you. You should be aware that there are many different ways to show that you’re attracted to someone. Your boyfriend might be doing this in ways other than complimenting you.

Does your boyfriend make an effort to spend time with you? This means that he still enjoys your presence and wants to see you.

Does your boyfriend still text you or call you throughout the day? This means that he likes staying in touch with you—even when you two are at work or school.

Does your boyfriend surprise you with gifts or dinner? He enjoys making you happy and makes an effort to do so.

Think about the other ways that your boyfriend might show you that he loves you or that he’s attracted to you.

These things don’t replace compliments, but they can be reassuring if you’re worried about your boyfriend!

​Does Flirting Count as Compliments?

Some people use compliments while they’re flirting. For example, your boyfriend might call you “cutie”. This may not be the compliment you were expecting, but he’s still calling you cute.

You might be getting the compliments you want without even realizing it. Try to think about the ways that your boyfriend flirts and see if he ever points out the things you want him to.

Another consideration to make is whether your boyfriend notices the difference between flirting and complimenting. He might clump them together and might not notice that he’s not complimenting you.

In this situation, it’s not necessarily your boyfriend’s fault that he isn’t complimenting you. He might think that he is, even though you don’t think that he is.

In some cases, flirting can count as complimenting. It really depends on what is being said. Plus, the way that you receive the flirtatious comments can influence the way that they are taken.

Flirting and complimenting are equally important in a relationship. Make sure you have a good combination of both to keep showing each other how meaningful the relationship is to you.

​Why Are Compliments and Flirting Important in a Relationship?

Compliments and flirting are one of the first things that you and your boyfriend likely did as a couple. This was how you first showed that you were interested in each other and that you wanted to be together.

Depending on what you said to each other back then, your relationship may have come from some sweet compliments and conversation.

When you flirt with your boyfriend, you’re showing him that you’re still interested in him. You’re also showing him how much you care about him and how much you want to be with him. Compliments work the same way.

If you and your boyfriend don’t flirt with each other or compliment each other, you’re missing out on building your relationship up. Relationships need to maintained by showing your boyfriend that you genuinely care and still want to be with him.

When you and your boyfriend make the decision to stop flirting or complimenting each other, you’re showing each other that you care less in a way. This isn’t a good way to keep a relationship stable.

By complimenting each other and flirting with each other, you will be keeping your relationship alive. You will be lifting each other up and showing the love you have!

​Should You Break Up with Your Boyfriend If He Isn’t Complimenting You?

The lack of compliments alone is not really solid grounds for breaking up with someone. This might depend on how serious the issue is to you.

There are a few instances in this particular situation where you might break up with your boyfriend.

First, you might break up with your boyfriend if he doesn’t seem willing to work through this problem with you. As a couple, you should be a team and resolve your relationship issues together.

Second, you might break up with your boyfriend if he doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore. In this case, your boyfriend might have complimented you before and showed you how much you mean to him. Then, he might have changed his mind.

Either of those two situations can be really hard to deal with. In these cases, you may want to break up with your boyfriend. I think that many relationship problems can be resolved, but you need to be willing to work together. If only one person is trying, you won’t get anywhere.

Plus, if your boyfriend’s feelings for you have changed, he may not be interested in staying with you anyway. As unfortunate as this is, it can be the truth. If you’re in a relationship, the two of you should be interested in each other.

Conclusion

If your boyfriend isn’t complimenting you, it could be because he’s simply forgetting to do so. It might also be because he’s changed his mind about you. Your boyfriend might have an entirely different reason for not complimenting you.

Whatever the reason is, you should work together as a team to figure it out. Compliments and flirting are an important part of every relationship.

Sonya Schwartz

A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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Hey There, I'm Sonya Schwartz

Hey there, I'm Sonya Schwartz and welcome to Her Aspiration.

My goal for Her Aspiration is for it be a source of source of actionable relationship and dating advice that is geared towards women, with the aim of positively impacting these aspects of their lives.