Motion on the Ocean

It’s hard to know exactly with the
almost daily time changes but we have been cruising for about a week now.The weather has been good to us up till
now.Today is cloudy and much
cooler.The barometer is dropping
and the seas are rising.A
straight line may be the shortest distance but on a rocking ship a serpentine
path is the one’s only option from point A to B.

Here are some of the things I have
noticed so far.Many cruisers are
overweight.And infirm.I have never seen so many canes.On this trip, at least, too many
passengers are from Texas.Everyone I have spoken to told me how much they love cruising.Meanwhile they whinge about the
weather, complain about the eggs, their waiter, or their seat at the
floorshow.Few have a good word to
say about the countries they have visited.Many, it seems, intend to leave Spain as soon as possible,
hopefully the same day we arrive.Getting there for them isn’t half the fun; it is the only fun.

I like to think of us as Cary Grant
and Deborah Kerr on a steamship crossing the ocean, not a cruise. This is a
fine way to go from the US to Europe and much cheaper than flying.As a holiday, except for the food,
cruising is hardly better than staying home.The activities are all contrive, something like a reality
show on TV.Cruisers don’t have to
think.Cruisers don’t have to
plan.They merely have to show
up.They can buy their souvenirs
onboard, exchange money on board, book excursions onboard and even sign up for
their next cruise while still enduring this one.