Tag Archive: 30 Days of Kink

Day 30: Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about. I had planned to write about my romp amongst the multiple fetish shops that were no doubt thriving in New Orleans, what with all the sinners and all. (Drinking on the street is legal there–this is unusual in the U.S.) I was sorely disappointed. Prior …

Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general? I do not have a title (unless The Pageist counts, which I’d be pleased with). None of the titles I’ve heard other people called or used …

Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you? I haven’t actually done anything, but in my head I would go to dungeons (and I intend to do this eventually) in black jeans, a white button down top and black leather corset or waist corset of some …

30 Days of Kink. Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how? All of my kinky activities are in my head, but my non-kink interests involved reading, writing and organizing. If I had a Dominant who wanted me to read books so we could discuss them …

Day 26: What’s your opinion of online BDSM play? I suppose it’s like any other sort of relationship in that as long as both people are approaching the experience with the same goals (for an hour, for fun or looking to build a long-term relationship, for example) and as long as everyone is honest about …

Day 25: How open are you about your kinks? I’m quite open because I have this condition where, if I’m excited about something, I can’t shut myself up. Luckily, I also have something called ‘Fuck You if You Don’t Like It’ Syndrome wherein I inherently feel judgmental people can take a flying leap. This is …

Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner? As I’ve mentioned before, I’m happily married so I’m not looking for a partner, but if I were single, I would be looking for an experienced Dominant. Both in emotional/psychological aspects as well as physical play. She wouldn’t have to be a professional dominatrix, …

Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so? I’m not sure I’d say my interests have changed—more that I’ve realised there was a name for the way I’m oriented so now I know where to look for more information on those things in order to learn more …

Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship? Communication. Everything about BDSM seems to be about communication from both sides. If you’re trusting your life, mental health and physical safety to another human being (or accepting the responsibility of someone else’s …

Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction). Probably Richard von Krafft-Ebing’s Psychopathia Sexualis about which I have waxed poetic on previous occasions. It was the first book written about paraphilias and fetishes. Krafft-Ebing took the radical view that homosexuality shouldn’t be illegal. Scandalous. Psychopathia Sexualis was supposed to be written for learned men …

Day 20: Talk about something within kink/BDSM that you’re curious about/don’t understand. At present I can’t think of anything. If I’m curious about something I try to learn about it. If this prompt is referring to ‘curious’ in terms of something I’d want to try then I answered that on day 15. In regard to …

Day 19: Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they? Kink has improved my life in every way. I mentioned the essay Kink Fixed Me a few days ago and I mention it again here, as it describes many of the ways kink improved my life. The short version is …

Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they? Not really pet peeves just boring at this point—things you see so much of it’s tiring. Like anal hooks and jewelled butt plugs. They’re everywhere. It would be like if whenever you opened your internet browser every third photo of a woman—no matter what …

Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up? That BDSM is abusive or that people who are interested in it are broken or are working out problems from their childhoods in an unhealthy way. I can’t explain it better than these infographics from BDSM Training Academy.

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally? Thus far I haven’t had any difficulty, really. Quite the opposite, which I go into in the essay Kink Fixed Me. It’s about how realising I was kinky solved several life-long problems I’d had with …

Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try. I’ve not yet done anything kinky outside of my head so I’m curious about all the things I’m interested in. I suppose the thing that’s most possible/practical for me to try (if I bothered to go to munches/get vetted/go to dungeons/etc) …

Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ? I haven’t experienced real life BDSM but in the fantasy no one ever gets foot cramp or has too much tea earlier in the day and has to …

Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to? I’ve read this question five times and I’m not sure how to answer it. I just am drawn to certain things. The biggest part of BDSM I’m drawn to is D/s. …

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny. I was at a kinky craft event and the organizer said she wouldn’t mind picking up the materials for us for the next event because it was like performing service. She …

Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink? When I first read this prompt I didn’t understand the question. So I looked at answers other people gave to see if anyone else had a better idea thinking that perhaps I was missing something. Others were as confused as I was so at …