Ever been stood up?

Well it happened, figured it would sooner or later. I was stood up. I chatted with what I thought was a real nice guy. We really hit it off so decided to meet. This guy told me he was unlike any other guy I would meet. He seemed like such a sweetie. Well We made plans to meet. I did the usual, took a hot bath, shaved so i'd be nice and smooth, straightened my hair, put on my makeup and my body spray i call my scent. I drove to the meeting place we decided on and waited 45 minutes. He never showed. What kind of a person does this? So I thought to myself, maybe he had a good excuse. But guess what, still haven't heard a thing from him. I'm sure this happens but please give me some insight as to why someone would do this. As a joke? Has this happened to anyone else? I'd love to hear about it.

Other times, the stand up can be born of just being rude, poor scheduling habits, or anxiety. I think some people have the fantasy, but when it approaches reality, they choke under pressure and change their mind.

I try to make the first in person meeting casual and informal, with NO EXPECTATIONS. I think if we just remove sex from the picture, and just remember we are meeting another person (yeah, with the potential for hot sex tucked away in the recesses of the mind) and take it from there. Anyone can have a reasonable time with another person for a little while, even if they decide the other person is not right for some reason. What is really rude is to meet someone and just say, "No way, it ain't gonna work and walk off."

Even if I find reasons I don't want to pursue a person further after the first meeting, I keep it light and fun, no reason to be rude and abrupt. And keep it planned for a short time(although I try to keep it open to potential if there is an immediate click), and have an 'escape plan'. Afternoons are good for that, since you can always use going back to work as a real excuse for leaving. I think it is also really important to send real and honest pictures to prospective people so that there are not surprises (like a drive by stand up, where they take a peek and keep going). Might as well get it out of the way before meeting if someone does not like us for physical reasons. Although, to be fair, I have met people who are much better than their pictures, and then vice versa.

I try to make the meeting about including the person in my day, so that if they do not show up, I can do what I was planning on doing anyway.

It is a bit crushing to set up a big date to go somewhere together and have the person not show...and people on these sites can be flighty, it is just par for the course.

Just a few of my thoughts about how to make it less likely to be stood up, and less painful if it happens.

watchmehubby replies on 9/16/2006 5:13 pm:You certainly get me thinking with your responses. I have started doing exactly that. I met someone recently just to meet and we have been chatting everyday for over a month now. We have even had a couple of disagreements via IM. We plan to meet this week to see if there's a real sexual attraction between us. If there isn't then I think we know enough about each other to just stay friends. Although I still have a pic I love to show that only shows my eyes. I do follow it with a real pic. You seem like a very smart man who knows what he wants and how to handle every situation with class. It's a pleasure for me to read your comments.

Getting stood up is the story of my life and your not alone on this one. But I do wish you the best of luck in the future.

watchmehubby replies on 9/16/2006 4:57 pm:Oh darlin do I wish I was 19 again. I read your profile and you are a sweetie. I hope you find what your looking for. If I was single and 19 I wouldn't stand you up.

It happens here at AdultFriendFinder quite a bit. Why? I only know one couple we where supposed to go out with turned out to be a single guy and he was more interested in my husband. I think they call the game "gay bait".>>!

watchmehubby replies on 9/16/2006 4:53 pm:I don't know your hubby but mine would have been glad he didn't show and you know I would have been glad too. I just know I'll be a bit more careful who I decide to meet. Especially after hearing your story.

Unlike any other guy indeed.....I have heard that this happens more often than one might think. It has never happened to me and I would never even think of doing it to another. I have, however had the unpleasant experience of engaging in an ongoing and seemingly positive exchange of e-mail correspondence, only to have the other simply stop all communication abruptly and without explanation. I think the anonymity of the internet makes some people think they have license to mistreat others in this way. I agree with Silverhawk that the best thing you can do it block further contact with this particular loser and just keep going forward. There are many others out there who will be more respectful of you; No one deserves any less.

watchmehubby replies on 9/6/2006 4:10 am:Thank you for your support. I have indeed blocked him on IM. I almost want to reveal his handle as a warning to others. But of course I would never do that. Yes he is a loser and I am moving forward.

"Unlike any other guy" usually means that he's a completely self-centered bastard who is desperate for the same kind of feedback from his partners, for someone to tell him he's fabulous... Don't worry about it, sweets. And, to be honest, I'd block any further contacts from him... {=}

watchmehubby replies on 9/5/2006 4:34 am:Thanks for visiting my blog. Well he got some feedback alright. He told me he was like no other man i'd ever meet. So I did sent him an IM telling him i agreed, He is like no other man I will ever meet. However I have now deleted him from my Im.

Unfortunately yes it happens. Why? I wish I knew the answer to that. Guy obviously isn't worth your time. His lose I am sure and imagine what kind of a guy he would have turned out to be if he did arrive. I think it was your lucky night. A guy like that isn't worth fretting over. Hope you never experience it again though.

watchmehubby replies on 9/5/2006 4:29 am:First thanks for visiting my blog and second thanks for the comment. I do not plan on having anything to do with this guy again anyway. I guess i am glad to find out what kind of a guy he is before we had something going.

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