Scarification, Is it just and art form?

By Anonymous · May 11, 2000

Scarification, Is it just and art form?

At A Glance
Author anonymous
Contact hardcore7779@hotmail.com

The experience that I can remember

to be my first with scarification occurred in my grade 8 music class. I was
sitting at my desk bored out of my mind and I found an old, rusty nail that
had fallen on the floor. I picked it up, examined it, caressed it, then used
it. I began to stroke it up and down my forearm watching it dance amongst the
hair. Then I began to press a little harder and harder and harder until the
girl sitting next to me screamed out loud because I was bleeding. The teacher
made me go to the nurse and get a
Band-Aid, and along the way I stared at
what I had just done in complete amazement. This was my new friend, this was
"cool". For as long as I can remember my parents have been against tattoos,
claiming that if I ever got one I'd have to pay to get it removed.
Six
tattoos later I still have yet to visit a surgeon, but that's besides
the point. Scarification served the same purpose, to me anyway. If I can't
get a tattoo, I'll just cut a design into my body.

I only made straight cuts
oddly enough and my cutting got to the point where I
had to make excuses
for it. "Oh, that. Uh I got it playing hockey" was the common response and it
worked too, until I quit hockey. As time went on the excuses became less and
less believable since the scars I made would never have been made from
playing hockey. I actually quit playing hockey because of the scars that I
had. I didn't want to have to face a bunch of ignorant assholes continually
asking me what I had done to myself, with the common response being "Shit,
you're psycho" Scarification had become a way of life for me. During school,
after school, I would cut. It always made me feel better about the way my
life was going. It helped me cope with the way I was feeling, no matter what
it was. Depression, suicide, guilt, whatever.

Scarification was always there
for me when I needed it. It also helped me "toughen up" whenever the occasion
called for it. I
used it to psyche myself up before playing football by
cutting my self and continually chanting kill, kill, kill. However it got to
the point where I would only cut to feel better,not because I was curious.
After the death of a grandparent I cut a band into my right arm trying to
prevent my self from crying over the loss. As the blood dripped down my arm I
was reassured that everything was going to be OK. After getting into a fight
with a sibling and after a few suicide attempts I branded both my right
shoulder and arm with a blow
torch and screwdriver, vowing to never again
hurt a family member like the way I just did.

It was then when I realized
what I had gotten myself into. I had fallen into a way of dealing with
problems which was very self-destructive and unhealthy.I decided to tell
my
parents what I had been doing for the past 6 years (I opened up in my
fifth year of high school) My parents of course didn't take this too well,
but they were very supportive in helping me find different ways of coping. I
went to group therapy sessions and realized that I was a self-injurer, using
scarification as a method of coping similar to an alcoholic who drinks to
help him with his problems. Scarification was just as addictive. How do you
retrain yourself to cope with problems in a different way when the current
way works so well? It's hard, very hard. 10 weeks in group therapy and I
still have to fight back the urge to this day. The group sessions helped me
realize that I was just passing off my self-injury as body art and failed to
acknowledge the fact that I was harming myself. This brings me to the main
point of this article. Scarification should be done to beautify your body and
express yourself and for those reasons only. Not to be tough, not to help
cope with pain. There are plenty of ways to cope with pain that are much
healthier than cutting. You can go for a run, bike ride. You can paint,
express yourself artistically, or just go scream
somewhere(that works
real good) just make sure that you're not harming your body as a means of
feeling better. I'm not saying that scarification is bad, there are some very
good artists out there who do good work, all I'm saying is that if you are
considering scarification make sure you're doing it for the right reasons.
You put yourself in great danger by cutting on your own and run the risk of
infections, hospitalization and even death if you're not careful. So please
if you're interested in scarification go see a professional who will do it in
a safe atmosphere, and most importantly only do it for the right
reasons.

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submitted by: Anonymouson: 11 May 2000in
Scarification

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