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Why, as soon as i go onto medication do I start drinking EVEN more? I'm on citalopram and according to the leaflet shouldn't drink, yet last night, i drank a bottle and a half of wine, which to be fair, isn't unusual, except, it wasn't my usual lambrini which is bloomin weak in comparison.So, I woke up this morning, the room spinning, felt sick and made it to work, I was so upset with myself for drinking, the pills are OBVIOUSLY not going to work when I am drinking!!Am in such a drowning vicious horrible dark mess.

Maybe it's a habit now. In another thread I read you've been drinking like this for quite a while. I'm glad you're going to AA... do you have to wait until January, though? Being your on meds is a good thing, and you have to learn how to be better to yourself in order to augment what the meds do.

Quote:

Am in such a drowning vicious horrible dark mess.

Have you checked out the 10 forms of twisted thinking? I know when I was having similar thoughts in the past, going through this exercise helped me.

_________________As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. -- Goethe

It's not that I HAVE to wait until January, it's just that i know i'm out over the christmas period and i don't want to put the pressure on myself of not drinking. I plan to see the new year in, have a drink and then this year to bed; including the drinking and start afresh on new years day Then i plan to start going to AA and finding other ways of occupying myself