2. LMAO!

I needed that!

Thanks for the well wishes, actually haven't gone down it yet, rescued a pit bull and had a horse get all cut up by an old wire fence, after the week I've had, that bat infested, hibernating snake resort looks awful damn good right now.

Here's a cave in New Mexico that we found about 40 miles north of Las Cruces, New Mexico on BLM land. Because I wasn't physically able to climb this, my friend did and after returning back to ground level, he told us it was lined with druzy quartz.

4. 20 years ago I was on one of the first teams to officially document Omega cave system in Wise, Va.

I was in college at the time, and of course, thought I was immortal.

That cave will change your mind about that. It starts off easy enough- basically horizontal dry chambers with typical ups, downs, and bends. Seems like a cake walk, right? You get to what looks like the end and wonder, "Why are we mapping this little pissant cave?"

At the ass-end of the main chambers there's a great big boulder, and when you climb over it, you feel a breeze of damp cool air. Crawl through a button-hole and you're faced with deep pits left and right with a narrow ledge between them (imagine walking across a muddy balance beam with water dripping everywhere).

Later on, you hit narrow vertical chimneys not wide enough to wedge your knees comfortably. As you reach the top, you hit a series of long muddy slides that you have to belly through (oh, that really narrow one that you wondered if you'd fit through? Well there's a column in the middle of it, so be ready to pull off your pack and push it ahead of you- now exhale.. push with your toes.. inhale (stuck).. exhale.. push with your toes.. inhale (stuck).. lather, rinse, repeat.

Eventually the cave ends in a 50-60 foot waterfall that dumps into a perfectly clear pool so deep that your flashlight can't follow a rock thrown in. Who knows if there's another cave system somewhere downstream.