Spiraling down

So now I'm ill. Pretty ill. I feel ridiculous, like Marianne in Sense and Sensibility, collapsing with high fevers after she get dumped by her worthless lover. I was always Elinor, never Marianne. But here I am, with fevers going over 40 degrees for the last three days, not being able to go to work, which is a disaster when you run your own business. And as for Marianne, my worthless lover doesn't seem to be terribly concerned either. He never asked about my state of health since I handed our son over two days ago. It looks like indeed, he truly meant it when he told me he didn't give a damn anymore.
Am hoping to be able to get back to work tomorrow, but am obviously not sleeping tonight either, therefore know that even though the fever is now down to a regular 38-ish most of the time, I'm quite weak, and lack of sleep will not help. Also hoping that the different tests results will come in soon, so we can find a way to treat whatever it is I have properly and fast. I can't afford to be down, financially and morally. Nobody knows about Now, and can't keep up a proper front if I'm burning with fever and heartbreak at the same time.
Tomorrow is another day, said Scarlett O'hara, another foolish woman, but at least a resilient one. However, tomorrow is in a couple of hours, and I do believe I won't look half as good as she did when I show up at work.
Tomorrow.