English language, should contain “variant spellings” of words?

In a 2012 study, 66% of young people quizzed felt that the dictionary, the eternal sentinel of the English language, should contain “variant spellings” of words. This figure was linked, in part, to the ubiquitous nature of bad or poor spelling online.

It’s rumoured (by me) that the second these children suggest that the dictionary should contain alternate spellings, the Earth itself cracked open to reveal a screaming amalgamation of every word in existence being furiously punched in the dick by the ghost of Dr. Johnson that dissipated into the ether, broken and defeated, as soon as the children asked how to spell “amalgamate.”

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