The most fascinating dinner party IN THE WORLD

Barbara Walters came out with her list of the ten most fascinating people of 2011 and I feel really bad for her because I assume that she wrote that list as a joke and then accidentally published it. I don’t like to criticize, but if your list of the ten most fascinating people includes three Kardashians then you’re doing it wrong.

I do adore two people on that list but even they can’t save this from being THE WORST DINNER PARTY EVER. And that’s why I’ve decided to make my own list of the most fascinating people in 2011, or as I like to call it “Who I’d Invite to the Most Interesting Dinner Party Ever (but then probably hide from in the bathroom because of my anxiety disorder.)”

You’re invited. Just take a look at who I’m starting the guest list out with and add anyone you’d like to bring to the party in the comment section. Let’s get started:

Anderson Cooper. In which case NOT my husband. Unless AC really is gay (as everyone who knows my love of Anderson Cooper keeps insisting), in which case my husband can come, since there will be no smooching and/or innapropriate under-the-table games. But then I want to invite Al Gore too. Since all we’re going to be doing is talking. And this way I can ask him about how we can get together and invent another internet because frankly I’m getting a little tired of this one.
I’d like to invite John Lennon too, but dead people tend to bring dinner parties down.

I have to agree with Kara about David and Amy Sedaris. I think the whole family might be a bit much though. Just sayin’! I also agree with you on Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer. I would add Leonard Cohen.

Yeah, when I saw the commercial for her special I laughed out loud. Yes, many of your picks would be awesome. I would bring/kidnap (xd) Bill Murray, James Franco, Bret Easton Ellis, Nicole Kidman, Jeff Goldblum, Doug Stanhope, Rob Huebel, Craig Bierko, John Cusack, Elizabeth Wurtzel, Fiona Apple, Steven Weber & Jenny Mollen. Plus some cool net people but it seems weird/creepy (coming from me) to list non-famous people. My anxiety would have me in a corner of the bar drinking Jack.

Holy crap, I love you people. Also, I totally called it 2010 again. WTF, me? I’m stuck in 2010. I’m going to be fucked in a few weeks.

Also, I did consider inviting Nathan Fillion, but I have a lot of twine in my house and it’s my understanding that he might have some sort of allergy.

Also, Wil’s wife will be there riding the half-monkey/half-pony. Because she’s awesome like that.

And I’d also invite the homeless guy on Main Street who gives fascinating sermons to invisible people. I didn’t put him on the list though because I didn’t want to scare off William Shatner. The man is just damn jumpy.

British comedian Bill Bailey, because he’s one of those rare people who is both nice and incredibly funny all at once. More commonly, funny people tend to be real assholes (present company excluded, obviously!), but Bill is someone I wouldn’t mind being stuck on an aeroplane with for an extended period of time.

i’m gonna have to go with whiplash, the dog-riding monkey. after all, one can only spend so much time engaging in titillating conversation. and then, pretty much, you’re gonna need a dog-riding monkey to turn it up a notch, to a whole notha level.

DEFINITELY Kurt Sutter, because he can make the ‘C’ word sound like polite conversation. And can we have some good old fashioned eye candy? We’ve got intellectual eye candy, but it wouldn’t hurt to have some of the drooley variety, either.

I am the most fascinating person I know. Really. God, I sound pretty full of myself…but I’m not. Really. I could have a party all by myself…adding in more people does make it better though. If I could bring a date and my super fascinating-also husband needed to stay home to watch the kids, I’d bring Morgan Freeman. Not because he turns me on, but because I think he’d be a lot of fun at a party. The Kardashians are so passé, not to mention totally boring.

Hmmm, such a good list thus far. but, even better: Allison Scagliotti and Chris Hardwick. I also wouldn’t mind Ian Somerhalder, but I would probably stare and be fascinated more than talk and be interested.

Have you heard of that New York play that’s in an apt building and everyone walks around with masks on and the play happens randomly in different rooms of the apt building. It’s supposed to be very Eyes Wide Shut. I’d invite all the weirdos in masks, cuz that would create an uncomfortable air that would be fun to watch. & since we’re all “weird movie characters are coming to this party”, let’s invite Tom Cruise too. So they have someone to talk to.

Dr. Who definitely needs to be there. Especially since the drunk Queen Elizabeth and a chimp shackled William Shatner are invited. Clearly the chimp is going to be the incognito alien in this dinner party….

J K Rowling, Jon Stewart, and Allie from Hyperbole and a Half. I second all of those! This dinner party is getting pretty big. Are you sure you can fit all of us in your house? You may need to expand to the backyard….

Michael Schumacher. Steven Moffat. That man is a god, because he plays with your mind like it is his own personal sand box. And of course you have to have Nathan Fillion there. Get him drunk and get a pic of him with twine!

You already have Neil Gaiman and Wil Wheaton, so I’d have to go with…Margaret Atwood and Mat Johnson. Atwood for obvious reasons, and Johnson because he makes me laugh almost as much as you do. I think the two of you together would be lethal – and I’m okay with that.

Oh, can I also add Mark Harmon? He just seems like such a nice guy and not bad to look at. And then I also have to second Pauley Paurette because she rocks all around. And I second the vote to invite Betty White.

I see Jon Stewart and Nathan Fillion have already been mentioned. Good. So I’ll two of my favorite, and living, playwrights: Tom Dudzick (Over the Tavern, Greetings, Hail Mary!) and James Sherman (Affluenza!, Jacob and Jack). I would also invite Scott Kurtz and Mark Waid, because what dinner party is complete without a discussion of digital rights and the comic medium? (http://www.newsarama.com/comics/sdcc-2011-waid-kurtz-digital-disruption-panel-110725.html)

I have a Twitter list called ‘fantasy dinner party.’ I put people on it who are fascinating. But also people who I want to see get into a fight. So like, the Pope and Richard Dawkins (well, not them exactly).

I’d like to add…can I just say The Dr Whos (Whos’s? Whoseses?) Anyway, them. With sonic screwdrivers and the Tardis.

Perhaps we should invite Marvin the chronically depressed robot from the Hitch hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, seeing as Douglas Adams is invited, just so we could look at him and stop laughing long enough to taste some of Bourdain’s food.

Love the Nathan Fillion invitation, but I’d like to add that he can only come if he brings Serenity; the spaceship. Drunk traveling through time and space. Gives a new interesting meaning to being spaced out, doesn’t it?

This party will rock so hard, it won’t only be the coolest party of the year(2010 or any other), it’ll be the coolest party of all time!

I’d like to bring a toast to the bestest hostess ever: “May you always be the light in the darkness that you are” *Cheers*

You people have the best damn taste. Luckily we live in the country so I have few acres out back that this imaginary party can spill over into. Luckily the snakes and scorpions are all in hibernation. Avoid the foxes though. They’re easily spooked. Much like William Shatner.

I’m so there. I’m bringing Prince with me, ‘cuz he ROCKS, and since he’s gone all JW, he and Hitchens could be interesting together. I’m going to add Joss Whedon too. Wait, wait…I need to go check my People page on Pinterest to see who else.

I’d love to be at your dinner party! Seems that most of the people I’d pick are mentioned in other comments already. Going to list anyway. Neil, Amanda, Teller and Eddie Izzard would definitely be on my list. Also, Kevin Smith, William Gibson, David Lynch, Carrie Fisher, Lewis Black and Jon Stewart.

so, i have to say, your list is badass. and I completely agree with all the ones I know, especially Eddie Izzard. He’s the funniest person ever, especially one who’s covered in bees. And of course Queen Elizabeth, how would you not want someone with the wingspan of an albatros at your dinner party? (http://harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=300). Also, I have to thank you for introducing me to Doodling in Math Class, that was brilliant! Can I imaginarily attend your dinner party?

I didn’t know you are into Amanda Palmer, but now I do I have to say I love you even more. Well not quite as much as I LOVE Amanda Palmer… This is fun – I think I’ll make my own list 1. Amanda Fucking Palmer 2. The Bloggess – as long as she brings Will Wheaton with his pony/monkey 3. …

I totally agree with bringing Eddie Izzard, he’s got great taste in his clothes, but I feel that Weird Al, Pauley Perrette, Jack Skellington (the actual character, not his voice actor), Robert Smith of The Cure, and finally Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders. I suppose if Dawn and Lenny Henry are still together then he can come as well.

Any party that includes Vi Hart and Bigfoot is bound to be off the awesomeness scale.

I’d add:
Jen Yates from Cakewrecks and Epbot
Rachel Held Evans (A Year of Biblical Womanhood)
Steven Levitt (Freakonomics)
Andre Geim (physicist who makes frogs levitate and won an actual nobel prize playing around with pencil lead)

Aaron Rodgers (because DAMN is he hot and photobombs really well)
My husband (because if I invited Aaron Rodgers but not him he’d murder me)
Dakota Fanning because there is something oddly intriguing about that girl.
Taylor Lautner (because there are a few innapropriate dreams I need to, er, take care of.)
Patrick Stewart (added to your list, THAT would make for some interesting conversation)
Gerard Butler (Yum)
Bill Clinton

Byron @169 – I think you should re-think not inviting Chris Sarandon (Jack Skellington’s voice actor) to the party. He is 1) unbelievably charming and 2) Prince Humperdink!

I have a hard time narrowing my list down – I love so many of the folks already mentioned, but I’m highly inclined to have a number lot of horror film stars as well: namely Jeffrey Combs (swoon!), Robert Englund, Ken Foree. Also, Terry Pratchett, Vince Ventresca and Paul Ben-Victor (only if they both come to the party!), and Gene Wilder and Mel Brooks. Honestly, I could have a dozen ten-person dinner parties and still be forgetting awesome people.

Dude. DUDE. I love this game. I’m third … fo … fifteenthing David Tennant and… ACTUALLY, you know what? If dead people are allowed, so are fictional people, I say. So, lets add Ten, Shawn Spencer, and Dr. McKay, because the verbal sparring would be epic. Harry Dresden and the Winchesters, seated far, far apart. And The Pioneer Woman can cater the affair, even though she’s real. We don’t discriminate.

I’d bring Mr. Potato Head and Ryan Gossling so I can molest him all night. And Emma Stone because she is awesome sausage.

On a separate note, remember that time you brushed your teeth with Japanese super glue? Well tonight I super glued my finger to my eyebrow and nearly super glued my eye shut. All in the name of being a hooker. Just thought you’d want to know. Or not.

Emma Stone. That girl is funny, smart and beautiful. I’d date her if I didn’t like guys.
Which reminds me that I’d also like to bring Ryan Gosling if we’re allowed to bring 2 guests. You didn’t really specify a quota…

Just because I am socially awkward and I would possibly be the only hockey fan at this shindig, I would want to have Calgary Flames star Jarome Iginla there for me to talk to. While I am NOT a Flames fan, I’ve always thought he would be so much fun to go and have drinks with. But if he couldn’t make it, I know I could have a great time listening to most of the guests that others would bring.

this is easy.
STEPHEN FRY! hell, I’d like to have dinner with JUST him
I can ask my friend what neil and amanda are like over dinner if you like, He stayed with them at the Edinburgh Festival this year. Lucky bastard.

I think everyone has already named people I’d invite. But I didn’t notice Penn on there. He’d have to come too! Then I’d just sit down, grab a bottle of beer and listen to the best conversations that I will ever hear in my life!

Neil Gaiman & Amanda Palmer apparently just had dinner with Tom Stoppard tonight, so I think they should bring him to your dinner party, because if they get to enjoy him, we should all get to enjoy him.

Trying not to repeat but just to add, even though many suggestions were excellent & worth repeating.

Lots of writers on my list. Sarah Vowell. Mark Dunn. Jane Espenson. Anne Tyler. Anna Quindlen. Bryan Fuller. William Goldman. Shane Black. David Milch. (I’ve seen the latter two speak together at a festival, and it was pretty priceless.)

I’d kind of like to invite Katherine Heigl just to see how much trouble she could get herself into.

From the beyond, I’d like to invite Mae West, Carl Sagan, and Dr. Seuss.

John Fugelsang. Samuel L. Jackson. Ellen Barkin.

And I am no Glee apologist, but on Twitter, I really enjoy Cory Monteith and I would like to dine with him, especially if he brought his cactus, Hank.

Oh no Jenny! You’ve fallen victim to one of the classic dinner party blunders by overloading your guest list with what Miss Manners dubs “Sparklies”. The ideal ratio is four A-listers to six B-listers (“solid citizens” who are interesting and engaging, but who will not outshine the sparklies) per soiree.

Of course, a list with four celebrities and six of my personal friends does not make for very interesting reading, so…

Hope you enjoyed my guest lists! And thanks for being so hilarious, even (or rather, especially) about the tough things in your life. It definitely makes it easier to do likewise and approach my own struggles (ADHD and at times cripplingly-low self-esteem) with humor and optimism.

PS You are of course invited Parties #2 and #3 as well; I’ll just need advance notice so I can rework my seating charts! ;-)

I’m pretty sure everyone else has already mentioned all the truly fascinating people…so I will just bring myself and try to steal someone else’s date. And David Boreanaz, because he should clearly go everywhere I go.

Can I have alan rickman? Can I? Can I huh,uh?Can I? just want him to talk. “That is the second time you have spoken out of turn. Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all”. I promise not to spit my coffee when I laugh, nor to smile with my teeth completely covered in mashed potato. I also promise to bring Australian wine and chocolate. Oh oh oh and can we have David Thorne too??

Most people have already said those I’d like there Pauley P, Mark Harmon, Misha Collins…I’d add Michael Weatherly because he’s so funny and him Pauley & Mark would be very amusing together. Also Vanessa Vangsness because she’s adorably sweet, geeky and funny (and good friends with Pauley). I would invite Thomas Gibson, but I’d be worried about his shoe/foot fetish ;) lol.

If we can have fictional people I’d have to have Neal Caffrey, because the conversation between him and DB Cooper could be truly epic.

Oh, I would have to add Alec Baldwin to the list and BOTH Clintons. (I just want to see them at the same table.) I would also add Annie Leibovitz. From the bucket list, I would take Anais Nin (had dinner with her years ago and she is definitely worth inviting!) and my late husband Ziggy (of Ziggy’s Joke o’the Day) because he was truly a great raconteur.

As so many other people have said, I’m going to start with Nathan Fillion. Get the dude shitfaced, then break out the twine! Then I’m going to have to add David Tennant, Catherine Tate, Dawn French, Neil Patrick Harris, Tina Fey, Misha Collins and John Barrowman. And possibly a doctor to deal with my inevitable inability to breathe from laughing…

I second Betty White, Stephen King, Bill Murray, Tina Fey, and I’ll add Adam Sandler and Johnny Depp as either Capt. Jack, the Mad Hatter, or the sultry gypsy in Chocolat. Yum. How ’bout Randy Newman tinkling the ivories for some dinner music? You know, for the feel good effect.

Will we have the MRI machine in place for this party? Cos it isn’t a party til you get your full body screening… amiright?

I have to invite not just Nathan but the WHOLE cast of Firefly… Come on Jewel is a freakin dorable and Sean … Alan is hysterical. Pretty much anyone who’s worked on Doctor Who, especially John Barrowman and maybe his dogs cos they are SO kewt. But we’ll keep them away from Ferris Mewler. I feel like we need Brent Spiner. Author Katie MacAlister cos she’s damn funny.
I can’t wait to see all these ppl at the imaginary Party :D How many bathrooms do you have? May want to rent some upscale portapotties…. half for actual use half for ppl with anxiety disorder to hide in….

Joss Weadon
Felicia Day
Nathan Fillion
Jonathan Frakes and his wife
David Tennant (you always need a doctor at a party like this)
Yeti to see if him and Bigfoot really are the same guy
Morgan Freeman (to narrate the action)
The Myth Buster’s cannonball
Jeremy Clarkson

George Stroumboulopoulos is someone i’d invite..you must have a Canuck on site and his interviews are the best. he knows Bill Shatner too, so he could ease the awkwardness.
Lady GaGa would be on the list, and maybe if she wore her meat suit, we could BBQ! I’d let her know that T-bones would be the appropriate wear for this occasion.
Finally, I would add Alec Baldwin so that your friend Will Wheaton could challenge him to Words with Friends, and maybe Will could get 72 points from the word CRIB and humiliate him and Alec would go all Sheldon on him.

So, I would have to say, Norman Reedus, but he could be in character of Daryl Dixon (Walking Dead). No zombies though, because Zombies freak me out, then I’d have to borrow some of your xanax for you anxiety disorder and we could both just chill in your bathroom.

Tesla – b/c he’d bring the light show and those dogs on youtube that totally party in their master’s swimming pool while their master’s are away. Now they know how to have a good time while the p’s are out and play dumb when the cops show up.

Please, somebody before my brain explodes. I am a fairly (past 8 months or so) recent Bloggess apostle (Blogpostle?), and I have forever loved Jonathan Coulton and Skullcrusher Mountain with his pony/monkey monsters. In this post my two worlds have collided with Wil Wheaton in the middle. WTF? How is this happening? I fear my head will spontaneously combust! Somebody show me the series of unfortunate events that superglued all this marvelousness together!!

Wow, Teller with no Penn.
I’m bringing any American Serviceman who has served in the Afghanistan Korengal “Valley of Death”. If you haven’t seen the movie Restrepo, it is intense.
I’m also bringing Robin Williams, mainly because George Carlin’s ghost is still killing ’em in Vegas.
Lastly, I’m bringing Salma Hayek… surely she can’t turn me down if it’s at the Bloggess mansion?
My wife says I am also bringing her to chaperone my activities around Salma…

I agree with Cranky (possibly other… I admit it, I scrolled after a while!)
Alan Rickman- I want to creepily sit at his feet and listen to him talk. The cardboard cut-out+cd player just isn’t as good as the real thing.
And keeping in the theme Alan Davies. He is is hilarious, even whilst doing a live QI with a terrible flu.
And also me. Not because I’d be a particularly good guest, but because would split my time between creepily sitting at Alan Rickmans feet and creepily smiling at The Bloggess. And the whole experience would be better than any mood stablizers I have come across.

Along with some of your excellent choices (Bradbury, Teller, and that amazing girl from Doodling in Math Class) I would add:

Steve Martin, who should have won an Oscar (or two) and could entertain with great humor and banjo playing.

Steve Allen if we could bring him back to life for one more Meeting of Minds.

And if we are bringing people back from the dead to attend, then Isaac Asimov for sure.

@Nicole, I would invite Scrooge McDuck too, but if he can’t lift himself off the comic book page to attend, then at least include Don Rosa who added brilliantly to the life and times of that wealthy (in adventure) duck.

Neil deGrasse Tyson, because we need someone to bring us up to speed on life, the universe, and everything.

Jon Stewart, because he’s the only one that can make sense of our world.

And finally, me, because I wouldn’t want to miss out on Jenny’s mind boggling wit, and because I have some paper I need Wil to collate.

I don’t know if anyone thought of this or not, but I think you are one of the most fascinating people of 2011. I mean I know you are the host, but I would make sure you show up, and then I would invite Jose, and The Redneck Mommy because she also is awesome and Canadian, so hello, what’s not to love, and Ilana from Mommy Shorts bc she is pretty fucking cool plus would contribute huge ass cupcakes from NYC. And prior to the party I would wait until you are gone from your house and then break in with Nate Berkus (sorry if spelling error) to convert / decorate your house into one massive open concept bathroom so you could mingle and hopefully keep your anxiety at bay because -this is the genius part – you would know you were ALREADY in the bathroom! Yay! He would get to stay too, I like him. And I would also invite Kendra from Project Night Night to set up a donation bin for blankets, books and toys at your front door, then she can come mingle too as is super nice. And as stated in different context in a long ago post, I would invite my toddler, dressed in a chicken costume to wander around and randomly say “Knock knock …” ’cause the cool kids would get it …

I’d bring Ellen Degeneres.
Because seriously f*** the party if you’re not gonna be there.
We can chill in the bathroom together and Ellen can scare the shit out of people wanting to pee and you and I can explain to her why Chambord snow cones are more aesthetically pleasing when served in the comfort of your own bathroom.

Plus we can get all the dirt on the celebs from her show, you and I would possibly leave your bathroom with showbags and she’s a comedilesbienne. Fascinating.

Anyway, I would bring Jamie Cullum, Jon Stewart, Josh Groban, Kermit the frog, Russell Brand, and maybe Jimmy Fallon, so he could see what real funny people look like. I’d also have to invite my boyfriend, and he’d probably want to invite Damon Lindelof. That’s all I can think of in the bleary-eyed hour before my last final exam.

I TOTALLY second Misha Collins. He has to be there! Also Tom Bergeron. While I’m listing witty, clever as heck people I will add my friend Sarah who is the best person to sit next to at a dinner party.

1. Daniel Day Lewis (He can just read the phonebook)
2. Woody Harrelson (Someone has to bring the weed)
3. Paula Deen (Because mama is hungry)
4. Puck from the Real World (Because we need entertainment)
5. Gerard Butler (Because I need something to look at)
6. Sheryl Crow (Because I need to throw my hubby a bone and don’t want to punch her)
7. Zach Galifianakis (Because he is weird and funny)
8. Michelle Duggar (Because she needs to have a drink and get high to deal with her loss/19 kids)
9. Dave Matthews (Because we were all in college once)
10. Chelsea Handler (Because I need someone to drink wine and make fun of Puck with)

I learned something reading this post! Didn’t know who some of those peope were – kudos, laughter and learning in the same blog!!! And it is way to early for me to be putting together a dinner party guest list… so I’ll just go with everyone else’s answers.

Do they have to be famous? Your friend Laura Mayes should be invited – of course. Also Zooey Deschanel, because she is always being mistaken for Katy Perry, although she is prettier and more interesting. I see someone already put Jim Parsons down. I second that. Frankly I would personally not invite any politicians!

Your list is awesome. But it includes Bigfoot and Traci Lords. Soooo that created some mental images in my dirty mind that I will never be able to erase. Unless you are working on an invention for Handi Wipes for the brain. And if you are not, then don’t try to steal my idea. I’m on the mutha.

And I have been known to spend entire parties in the bathroom, as well. With my best friend trying to calm me down, and a (for medicinal purposes, only) Black Russian in each hand. Just thinking about having to sit at a table with these people gives me a rash.

I would definitely have to add Simon and Garfunkle. Put them in-between the comedians and authors and we’d get some wicked songs for after dinner entertainment! If only we could resurrect the Grimm brothers, those two combined with Simon and Garfunkle and the comedians and authors you already invited and that would be amazing, simply beyond beyond perfect.

Patrick Stewart, Michael Hurst, and the Doctor… all of him (even Tom Baker because he’s my favorite, even though I hear he may be a bit snobby in person) because even if he’s not real? We all know he is…

Oh, holy shit, these suggestions are good. Just scanning through I saw Joss Whedon (yes), Dave Grohl (hells yes) and John Hodgman. Also I think I’d do just about anything to get out of any dinner involving any Kardashians ever. How are they interesting? I don’t get it. Also is there anything truly interesting about Pippa besides her ass? I mean, she’s just a girl, right? Who’s sister married a prince? Maybe she’s super big in charities, Penny, jeez. Cut a girl some slack.

OK, my list would include Phebe Taylor (who’s been dead 220 years, but that’s allowed, right?). She’s a woman who lived in my town who was married to a big Loyalist but whose brother was a General for Washington in the Revolution. And I’ve made up a whole life for her in my head. Actually, if she came and she was just boring or rude or snobby or something that might ruin it. So, scratch that.

New person – fictional: Lord John Grey from the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. Sexiest gay British Lord soldier you’ll ever meet. For reals. God, I love him.

OK then! This was fun! Thanks! Oh and I need to read everyone’s suggestions much more thoroughly. Which might take all day! Yay!

Also has anyone said Amy Sedaris? Cause you two would get along like gangbusters, I believe. Plus her plus one could be Stephen Colbert and I second someone’s earlier suggestion that you do the staring contest right then and there. That could be the game portion of the evening – sequential staring contests. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!

I would bring Adam Richman, but I might end up having sex with him in your bathroom and he might eat everything there in one sitting, so that might not be a good idea. Instead I’d bring Dorothy Parker.

You left Beyonce the chicken off your list? What the hell? And where’s copernicus?

Personally I’d invite Matthew MacFadyen under the presence that he seems like he’s a funny guy behind all those serious, brooding roles, but really for the fact that I’d like to stare at him when he isn’t looking because he’s so hot.

Gordon Ramsey to do the cooking, Charles Manson because I’m sure the conversation would be fascinating (as long as we keep him away from the cutlery) and the ‘Mayhem’ guy from the All-State ads to cradle me gently in his arms at the end of the night and make the crazy go away.

Love your list. I was going to invite Beyonce (the metal chicken version). After reading through some comments I see I’m not alone. I’d probably invite Orson Scott Card too, just because I love his books and he’s a pretty interesting individual.

Hillary Rodham Clinton – because she’s about the coolest woman on the planet and maybe the solar system depending on who is on the cloaked ship orbiting Mercury. I think maybe Michelle Obama unless they are likely to get into a cat fight in which case I still choose Hillary. And, btw, I used your picture of Will Wheaton collating paper in a webinar I did for my company which I tried to attribute to you, but my boss said I couldn’t :(

Can we bring people that have passed? Because I’d so want to bring George Carlin. If not, how about Patrick Stewart? I’d love to hear him talk the whole night.
I so agree with having Vihart on the list, and really most of the list. Sounds like an interesting night.

I think we should invite:
1. Harper Beckham. She’s way more relevant than her mommy, plus, I’m betting her super fine daddy will show for eye candy, I mean, to supervise the baby. Shirtless. Texas is really warm, right?
2. Randall AND a honey badger.
3. a zombie. They are so IN right now.
4. My cat. She’s crushing on Ferris Mewler.

Amanda Palmer is already booked for my dinner party, I’m afraid. And I’m going to have to ask you to stop mentioning her because if other people figure out how cool she is, it’ll totally ruin it for me.
I’d also invite Kimya Dawson, Rachel Maddow, author Tom Robbins, Mitch Hedberg if dead people are invited, and the entire Bluth family if fictional people are invited. James Franco can be our tuxedoed waiter.

What was Barbara Walters’ thinking? If you look at the list, you know what’s missing…I know so many things…but any woman over the age of 40. Forgive me for not including Kris Jenner in that list. She’s trying desperately to be one of her daughters. Yes, you guessed it, I’m woman of substance so I should know who should be on the list…I’ve been around. Here’s just a few: Madonna (as long as she doesn’t talk in her English accent), Helen Miren, Hilary Clinton, Bonnie Raitt, Dr. Michelle Bachelet (first woman president of Chile), Jane Fonda. Of course there would be men there, too, like Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling. Eye candy, my friends.

Can I just say how much I love people that love Eddie Izzard? Seriously, a big scary guy could come to my door in the middle of the night covered in blood and tell me he needs a place to hide from the cops and if he could quote Eddie Izzard I’d let him in. I’d tell him to hide in the baby’s room, that’s how much I’d instinctively trust him.

I’d totally have Neil Gaiman too! Also, I’d have Tim Burton so I could introduce the two and be responsible for the next epic movie deal in a generation. I’d also invite Jack White because he’s such a weirdo and I could make out with him in the pantry between courses. And lastly- I’d invite the Kardashian sisters so I could invite them out for an after dinner stroll in a deep dark forest and leave them there to fend for themselves (I’d probably tie cloth sacks over their heads and give them a few spins before fleeing the scene…)

Stephanie Miller, Rosie O’Donnell, Whoopi Goldberg, Christopher Walken, a good portion of your list, A bear, Stephen Colbert’s Ears…I guess he can come also but merely to tell him why he’s a thief, and Paula Deen.

Yes! You could sell tickets. Of course then there would be a Beyonce expectation (the metal poultry variety). You think Teller would accidentally speak? Poor Barbara. Someone must have told her she is getting old and needs to connect with the little people by choosing people most likely to have a tattoo or most likely to have their image tattooed on someone’s ass.

I think John Waters would be a waaaaay interesting dinner guest. I agree with everyone who said Tina Fey. Her and Sarah Silverman could just crack wise all night! That would be terrific! Oh…for my dream crushes….I’d invite Chris Isaak and Paul Rudd. I’d like to make a sammich with them! And while I’m thinking of musician types, if we can bring dead ones back to life…let’s bring Elvis to the party…or good Elvis impersonator, if the undead is not an option. And Michael Jackson. That would be one helluva party!

While meeting The Bloggess would be enough, this would be the most awesomest party ever! Kevin Smith says Never Meet Your Heroes, but I would SO bring him and his wife Jen Schwalbach to this party. Craftyb above said Tim Minchin, I would like to second that. May I add Kelly Carlin, daughter of George (and George too if we can bring him). Margaret Cho could hold court in a small corner. This would be the most awesomest party ever. May I request a stop at Sam’s or Costco for kleenex, because I think I would cry all night, sentimental and easily overwhelmed idiot that I am. I would trade the tear-stained face and red puffy eyes for a night like this happily.

I have always wanted to have dinner with Philip Roth, Margaret Drabble and Margaret Atwood. Add in John Fugelsang, Randi Rhodes and the late Christopher Hitchens, and I can’t imagine a more interesting and lively evening. If I had to have any meals with Kardashians I would choose to go hungry. Very hungry, for a long time.

Drunk or not, at least I got invited. I have a feeling the non-drunk part is in there because I’ll be cooking? Well, I get to decide the menu then! We are having Frito pie and pigs in a blanket. Also, I’m bringing Patrick Warburton and Adam West, because I’ve always had the need to have The Tick and Batman in the same room together. I’m bringing Mandy Patinkin along, but not as a guest, so he can help serve. He can put the pigs in a blanket on the end of skewers and fling them onto plates while reciting, “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.” This will be awesome since a fair amount of your guests are already dead. Also, I’m bringing Cary Elwes as a bartender, so anything someone orders a drink, he can be all, “As you wish”. Best party ever.

Weird Al. Because isn’t every dinner party better with Weird Al?
The cast of Big Bang Theory, but only if they stay in character. (Which could definitely be awesome if Wil Wheaton is there!)
Oprah, because I need some of her favorite things. But she can leave after that.

My true wish is Diane Keaton. She’s gorgeous, hilarious, has a host of sparkling gossipy stories to share, and strikes me as the kind of woman who would think to bring you a glass of wine and a couple of canapes while you cower in the bathroom.

YES! Eddie Izzard alone would make it the most interesting party IN THE WORLD, and YOU absolutely MUST be there ;) Otherwise, whats the point – you make us all laugh so hard we spit our coffee through our noses, LOL

In addition to your list, I’d like to have the doppelgängers of the following invitees: Eddie Izzard, Zach Galifianakis, Teller, William Shatner, and Traci Lords. They probably have lots of stories about how they’ve gotten VIP treatment because of whom they look like.

Maybe some dude who grew a beard to resemble Wil Wheaton.

And as a cherry on top, I’d like to meet the children of The Poe Toaster (if (s)he ever had any). It’ll mostly be depressing, but I think the emotional abyss that is their overbearing parent issues + alcohol would be a great set-up (n.b. hide your expensive decor). They probably work at Michael’s too because of their addiction to Highlights, so they’d have lots of great ideas on how to decorate on-the-cheap.

My oldest daughter and I have been reading together and laughing, and agreeing on most of the attendees this morning. She’s 19 and away at college so she’s not at home much and we don’t get many of those moments-so thank you, love!

Also, she suggested instead of Stephenie Meyer and Anne Rice at the Thundinnerdome we just let them bring their vampires instead. Because Anne Rice is probably too classy to bitch slap Stephenie, but Lestat would have no qualms about setting a sparkly vampire on fire.

Well, if we are allowing dead people, then Gene Rodenberry needs to be invited to keep Shatner and Takei on the straight and narrow. Plus, I think he was wicked smart. He thought up the iPad long before Jobs did.

Ugh, I can’t pick just one person, sorry! In no particular order:
MC Escher
Octavio Ocampo
ee cummings
Bette Midler
They Might Be Giants
(And maybe Mother Theresa, but only so I could point out your blog motto to her and snicker. And then do penance for it, for obvious reasons. I honestly think M.T. was pretty cool)

Okay, I was going to say Zach too (yeah, we’re on a first name basis). Also, Chelsea Lately would be great. Wait, that’s not her name…Chelsea Handler. We need to have someone there that will get sloshed with us and talk a lot of shit. She’d be perfect. Is Colbert still on your shit list or can he come? We also need someone who is witty, sardonic, and completely “inappropriate” and “offensive.” How about Sarah Silverman? …someone who will get naked and/or act slutty? Any of the real world kids should do. …humor coupled with dance skills. Do you think Conan and Ellen are busy? Then at the end of the party, after a few, when I start feeling really intelligent, I would love to speak with Warren Buffett. Do you think he would have time to stop by? Oh, and the husband will probably want to tag along too. Anyway, I’m happy you’re hosting because my house is dirty.

Marcel the Shell. But only if he sits on Christopher Walken’s shoulder the entire time.

Also, the Kardashians, but only if you put them at the little kids table with Zach Galafinakis. And make sure he doesn’t shower for at least a week. And the double rainbow all the way guy. Because I think he’d be fun to mess with. Ooooh, and put Marcel the Shell on HIS shoulder. After giving them both LSD.

Since we’re clearly allowed to exhume, I’m starting off with Mitch Hedberg. Please seat me next to him as I’d like to trade sunglasses with him. Also, since I saw Teller listed above, I suggest we invite Penn so we don’t hurt his feelings. He can sit on the other side of me. Plus, those two released a book a while back that could make for some incredible fun at the party. http://www.amazon.com/Penn-Tellers-Play-Your-Food/dp/0679743111

Oh, and can the entire cast of Arrested Development also be seated at my table? I love each and every one of them like family and want them within food-flinging distance.

I’ll bring a Waldorf salad and that strawberry taco cake pie you’ve been craving. Is there a dress code?

Apparently we are like two peas in a pod. Twice this week my co-worker has read a post of yours and exclaimed, “That’s you too, Inelegant_Life!” Because while our lists would be wildly different, this line is me to a T: “Who I’d Invite to the Most Interesting Dinner Party Ever (but then probably hide from in the bathroom because of my anxiety disorder.)” I would also be the one to put the wrong year on my ornaments, except I would have gotten all Martha-fucking-Stewart and HANDMADE a half dozen ornaments with the wrong year. Thanks for yet another fabulous post.

Nathan Fillion and Eddie Izzard at the same dinner party would be awesome, but would it be too awesome? Would the universe implode if you had such a concentration of awesomeness at the same party? A black hole of coolness that obliterates all else in the universe? It would be scary, but so very cool at the same time that it might be worth the risk.

Well I agree with @linzlovesyou that it would be nice to have Ryan Gosling there but I’d want him to come as his character in Lars and the Real Girl.

Emily Mortimer from the same film and my girl crush.
Robert Duvall
Anyone named Hermione
Barbara Kingsolver
Christopher Guest
Javier Bardem (if Ryan can’t make it)
Nora Ephron
Maybe Debbie Reynolds or Edie Gorme
My son as an adult so he could tell me not to worry so much about his appalling lack of pre-algebra skills

Yay for all the folks that mentioned Tim Minchin. He should be playing in the background throughout the evening and anyone who doesn’t pilk at least once should be asked to leave. Also, since you are in Texas you must invite Willie Nelson. The stories he could tell would be amazing and I’m sure he’d bring treats to share, if you know what I mean, because I’m not sure he can help himself.

I’m totally behind those who said Tim Minchin, Carey Elwes, Jim Parsons and John Cleese.
To add to my list from 150 comments ago or so, I would also bring my boyfriend’s best friend Grant. Because he’s a scamp.

Also, if we’re allowed to invite dead people, I’m going with Vincent Van Gogh. And a translator. Because I’m pretty sure Van Gogh and I don’t (didn’t? Wouldn’t? Wouldn’t.) speak the same language.

That dude from the Key of Awesome and maybe some other YouTubers doing live Epic Rap Battles of History and parodies for entertainment. Caroline, you’re right on with the Capital One Vikings. And I agree with some others: Patrick Stewart, but only if he performs his one-man A Christmas Carol dressed as Jean-Luc Picard. Craig Ferguson. Stephen Colbert (and might as well have Jon Stewart tag along as the grumpy sidekick..hehe). DEFINITELY the chicken Beyonce (not the real one). And LZ Granderson.

At the “dead” part of the table Peter Sellers, Jack Lemmon and Tony Randall and at the “live” end John Cleese, Rowen Adkins, and Wanda Sykes. (And Jesus; I totally agree that Jesus would be a lot of fun at a party. Plus, you’d never run out of wine!)

I would love to have dinner with the now-defunct cast if “Whose Line is it anyway?” especially Wayne Brady. Oh, and Robin Williams. The episode where he joined the cast was so funny I couldnt breathe from laughing so hard.

Nobody here has probably ever heard of him, but I’d bring Tony Parsons, the British non-neo-advaita guy (NOT the British journalist of the same name), because he’d fuck with everyone’s minds (including mine) more than anyone else. I also understand that he really loves gourmet food, so it would be great to see what he’d say about the strawberry taco cake.

And I second Craig Ferguson, but I want him to bring Geoff as his date.

Jesus would be great too – I could ask him his opinion of the GOP candidates.

Ernie Cline, because he is so unabashedly geeky. And Wil Wheaton did the audio version of his new book. BTW – I just googled Wil Wheaton and “Wil Wheaton collating” came up in the top ten google suggestions – good job Jenny!

Ooo good question!! I would have to put a lot of thought into my list, but I’m sure it would include:
Frank Sinatra
John and Jackie Kennedy
Liz Taylor
Pippa Middleton
Nicholas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni
Robin Williams

Also, I agree that Barbara’s list is ridiculous. Not her best year by far!

Ooo good question!! I would have to put a lot of thought into my list, but I’m sure it would include:
Frank Sinatra
John and Jackie Kennedy
Liz Taylor
Pippa Middleton
Nicholas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni
Robin Williams

Also, I agree that Barbara’s list is ridiculous. Not her best year by far!

Ficional: A shitload of people from the Mother/Earthbound series, Alice from Alice in Wonderland, Madotsuki from the game Yume Nikki, Emily Strange and some of the people from the storys that i write (At least, i HOPE their interesting…)

Real: Terry Pratchett, You, Me (Hopefuly), My mom, Alot of the people i meet in the S.C.A., and my friend Skyler.

I don’t think I’ll be inviting Amanda Palmer to any of my dinner parties, because she’s an misogynistic idiot, but I think I’ll invite the rest and especially you!

If you’re not sure why Amanda Palmer is a rather toxic creature, googling “Amanda Palmer disabled feminist” is a good way to get started. Basically, for her “Evelyn Evelyn” act, she dressed up with Jason Webley as a conjoined twin and invented a bizarre backstory in which they pretended to be the illiterate victims of child pornography, rape and social avoidance problems who had been ‘discovered’ and ‘rescued’ by Amanda Palmer. At this point, a lot of feminists, disabled people and people with mental health issues said “Wait, what? Amanda Palmer, we thought you were cool! This isn’t a very funny joke, and it’s making us uncomfortable!”

Amanda tweeted “setting aside 846 emails and removing the disabled feminists from her mental periphery, @amandapalmer sat down to plan her next record.” She also went on national tv and mocked “disabled feminists from the internet” who were trying to take down poor, beleagured Amanda Palmer.

So, not sure where to actually find who I want to attend, but I want a real, living & breathing, from out of this world (galaxy, universe) alien being that can somehow speak our language to attend. That should be doable I think, right?? :-D

My Uncle Serop, Ann Rice, Joe Manganiello, Nathan Fillion, Judy Blume, Carrie Fisher, George R. R. Martin, Queen Raina, Michelle Obama, Helen Thomas, J.K. Rowling and Jim Parsons.
***Since Wil Wheaton is already on the list I would make both Wil’s and Jim’s attendance contingent on them being in character as Evil Wil Wheaton and Sheldon Cooper for the entirety of the party.

Casey Anthony. Because every dinner party needs that ONE guest that everyone can gossip about. Then we can all get drunk and openly judge her together! Nothing like *drunkenjudging* bonding time to bring people together!

People who are alive: George Takei, The Dalai Lama, Laurell K Hamilton, and George R.R, Martin. (The last one would be invited only so I could lock him in room with a typewriter ala Annie Wilkes until he finished the Fire and Ice series. If I have to wait nearly a decade for the next book….)

Kid Rock. Cousin Eddie. (to make the rest of the guests feel all klassy and shit.)
Seth Meyers :D because he’s cute AND funny.
Sandra Bullock, because she’s just so likeable.
The Thirsty Traveller dude. He’d know the best drinks.

The Honey Badger (just let it run loose in the house) and Randall (to narrate what the honey badger does.) It would be a really badass party. Incase you missed the honey badger, here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg

The Honey Badger, who definitely knows what and what not to give a shit about, gets locked in a bathroom with Barbara Walters. Honey Badger can then enlighten Babs on what people give a shit about and can explain the difference between fascinating people and her list.

Randall, of course, would provide commentary.

Then Stephen King and whoever did those Twilight “books” so Stephen can explain what readers expect from writers.

Again, commentary by Randall.

After dinner, I would be happy to be at the feet of Patrick Stewart and Alan Rickman, listening to them talk while curled up with Mike Rowe.

You totally need Ron Wnite there. I’d add Jon Bon Jovi to to rock out some Christmas songs and Josh Groban to round out the more traditional carols. Chrostopher Walken and a cow bell. George Clooney because not only is he good to look at but he’s quite the jokester. Betty White because throwing her in the mix is guaranteed laughs. And I’m thinking Charlie Sheen would make it interesting to say the least.

I bet I’m the 500th person to say you are at the top of my list! But it would be such a cool party, we would invite Joss Whedon (interesting) , and Nathan Fillion (possibly sans a shirt) and JJ abrahms so we can ask him how someone who is so good at coming up with shows can suck so much at ending them (ahem alias ahem) and my little brother who once carried his life savings of $473 dollars around in a metal briefcase in stacks with $20’s on top, just for the fun. And Marie Curie, because you know, women in Science (awsesome) and Jostein Gaarder (author) And I think we can invite the Pioneer Woman But I will totally tell her it is a potluck. Oh and Probably The barefoot contessa for the same reason.

OK – the conditions: First, this party would have to be at your house since although I also have a back yard more than an acre in size, it ends at a creek and I don’t want any drunks drowning in my back yard. Second, all the folks on the list would be invited to bring their spouse/significant other/main squeeze/date. So, just because Amanda Palmer isn’t on my list doesn’t mean she’s not invited to show up with Neil. Finally, because it’s at your house, you and Victor and Hailey and Ferris Mewler and anyone else you wanted would automatically be included.

Because most other people I would choose have already been mentioned (Nathan Fillion, Hugh Laurie, etc.) I’ve decided that we should make sure we have a time machine handy so we can invite really cool now-dead people like Edgar Allen Poe, Hitchcock, and Tolkien.

Terry Pratchett, of course. I adore both him and Neil Gaiman, and to have both of them in the same room would leave me tongue-tied to the extreme. Except that I would have so many questions that I wouldn’t be able to stay silent. Oh well, heart palpitations are good for you, right?

Due to my panic crap, I’d be hiding in the bathroom with you, but I’d be torn between inviting:
A. 9 people from different countries who each speak a different language and 1 drunk translator with severe Tourettes.

I don’t want to ruin your dinner party list or bad-mouth people who aren’t around to defend themselves, but I invited Bigfoot to dinner once and he was an enormous jackass. He didn’t bring anything and he ate our cat. Vegetarian my ass.

Well, 2010 OR 2011, it’d have to be Charlie Sheen, drunk or sober as the day is long. Because tiger blood would make a GREAT hostess gift at a dinner party and anytime there’s a lull in conversation, he’d say something no one could understand. Instant conversation starter: “What the hell did Charlie just say?” “Something about mudbloods?” “No, something about tiger blood again.” “Oooh, he said there’d fudge for dessert!”

Robert Rodriguez, Bill Hicks, Maya Angelou, Salma Hayek, Jeff Dunham’s Walter but not Jeff Dunham, Marsha Brady, David Thorne, Kevin Smith, Betty White, Adelle, and Newt Gingrich, but not as a dinner guest – as the pinata. What is a dinner party without a fucking pinata?

Surprised you don’t have Chuck Testa on your list. I think you’d enjoy a lot of his insight. And purchase his lifelike dead animals to play some kind of joke on Victor and then write about it here for my reading pleasure (Beyonce the chicken holds a special place in my heart).

Wow, most of the people I would invite have already been invited by others! But I will list them anyway. :-)
Paul McCartney (Because he’s just awesome!)
Steve Martin (I always said he would play my dad in the movie about my life)
Robin Williams (He’s funny as hell in any situation)
Caesar Milan (My idol!)
Conan O’Brien (an awesome host. He can announce the courses as they come in a funny and awesome way)
Julie Andrews (my idol since I was a kid. Love her!)
Dolly Parton (Don’t judge! She’s so down to earth, can laugh at herself, and just plain awesome)
The Bloggess (Of course! We need a Zombie attack drill!)

Would it matter who you invited besides me? We’d both be in the bathroom fraught with anxiety regardless.

You: Can you believe they came?
Me: I KNOW!
You: Do you think we should go outside and say hello?
Me: No, I think the giant “Welcome” sign you put on Beyonce is enough.
You: Do you think they like the taxidermy mouse place holders?
Me: How could they not? And they get to take them home, too.
You: I know, right?
Me: And the waiter (you’d have it catered so you could blame someone else if they didn’t like the food) in Wolf Blitzer? Inspired.
You: Do you think any of them are offended? Like, they’re PETA freaks or something?
Me (cracks the bathroom door and peers out): Nobody’s splashed him with paint or anything, so I think we’re good.

And we would spend the evening doing our nails and sneaking glances from our bathroom fortress while alternately directing and begging for more wine from the caterer.

Who would come to our dinner party? Who cares. The only one I’d see is you.

Kermit the Frog (any muppet, really) and James Earl Jones. I can’t believe you didn’t include him. (Oh, wait, are you still pissed he’s not reading your book? Right, right. I bet Henson Studios could make you a Darth Vader muppet, though.)

I know D B Cooper……..well, maybe not the dude that jumped from the low flying jet. I feel like I know Traci Lords…………intimately…………….doh…………maybe I could crash the party and invite Alice Cooper instead of Alice Walker. And of course, any list without me is truly no party indeed…………just sayin’………..

Don’t you want to invite Nathan Fillion so you can at least get him with some twice? I mean, we may have to hold him down and wrap the twine around him – but at least you can check that off your bucket list.

Oh Oh! Can I come? Not as a guest of course…but as a servant or body guard. I would body guard the crap out of Hamlet von Schnitzel! I mean he should technically be at the dinner party and well…who would be there to keep people from just taking his ass? Me! That’s who!

Also, being there to see the haunted dollhouse in all it’s eerie glory would be an honor…because I like tiny things (really I do, it can’t be explained).

Oh and I’m not crazy or anything. Not that you would be thinking that but it’s always nice to end stuff on that note just to clear things up. See this is me -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTZ_OZ2vd2c talking like a normal person and everything…so it’s like proof and everything.

Temple Grandin and John Elder Robison. Because what’s a dinner party without a couple of brilliant autistic people there to completely ignore all the social rules, and yet be completely fascinating to talk with. (I love that in conversation Temple asked if I would prefer for her to look at or listen to me, as she cannot do both at the same time.)

1 Ellen Degeneres & Portia de Rossi (power lesbian couple)
2 Neil Patrick Harris & David Burtka (power gay couple)
3 Wil Wheaton & Anne (power geek couple)
4 The Bloggess & Victor (crazy couple with the power to make us laugh)
5 Nathan Fillion (who has to dress like Malcolm Reynolds)
6 Best Friend (because I can’t do anything without her)
7 Adele (who was rather quite funny in an interview I saw and can sing for us)
8 Graham Norton (who is hilarious and will make Adele not feel like the only Brit)
9 Jackson Rathbone (who can sit by me and do all my talking for me because I’m shy and he’s gorgeous)
10 Joseph Gordon-Levitt (who can REcord the whole thing)

I like your party. I would have to include Eddie Vedder. I’m sure I’ll think of some others soon though, but by then I’ll be too busy reading all the other comments to comment again. I’ll bring the jello shots, because jello shots make any party more fun and I make EPIC jello shots. :-)

Fuck yes Eddie Izzard. I’d bring Matt Bomber. He’s so pretty…And gay. Why does he have to be gay?! It makes it harder to force him into marrying me. Also Matt Smith and Adam Young. Two possible husbands. And David Tennant. I think I’d be blinded by all the pretty.

I say Johnny Depp…cause you need some eye candy right? But then now that I think about it, he would probably turn up his nose at the invite and say something pretentious like: Dinner? With normal people? Ha.

So for someone really cool…Ellen. No….she stopped being cool when everyone started loving her. Ricky Gervais. Nah…he takes himself way to seriously.

I don’t know if anyone has said this one yet: Helen Mirren. I bet she would be interesting.

Also, regarding the Queen of England being drunk: I’ve noticed that in a lot of photos, she’s holding a wine glass filled with clear liquid (gin maybe?) And I saw a documentary about her once that noted that at all official dinner parties, when everybody else is served their wine, the Queen is always to be served her “special drink.” And it is always a wine glass filled with clear liquid (in addition to the water goblet.) So I don’t think you’ll have a problem with getting the old gal drunk. I bet she’s a riot when she lets her hair down, and can probably drink most of us under the table.

I hereby accept your invitation, and will be bringing Hannah Hart (of My Drunk Kitchen). I recommend laying in a stock of red wine & letting her do some of the cooking. (It’s not like anyone is coming for the food, right?)

Dean Winters(UH Mr. Mayhem via Allstate not actual mayhem but that sexy guy that plays Mayhem), Sean Connery and the Dos Equise most interesting man in the world for “his words carry weight that would break a lesser man’s jaw” He also has a pet cougar.

Kevin Smith
My friend Jen because two hilarious Jennifers would be AWESOME and I think that the two of you may be my long lost sisters because we share the same sense of humor and she is a crazy cat lady.

Stephen Frye (the man is hilarious…and british)
Wilfred(the dog Wilfred from the show…in costume and character)
Chuck Norris because nobody is going to start nothin with Chuck around.
Jason Momoa for eye candy.

Alfred Hitchcock or Edgar Allan Poe. One of those. Since you’ve already included Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer. But as the main dish, I think we should probably kill and eat the Twilight movie ‘actor’ trifecta. Please?

I am not sure if he could hold his own against Zach Galifianakis, BUT. I’ve been obsessed with health care reform crusader Wendell Potter this year. http://www.wendellpotter.com . He’s one of those 1% guys who has seen the light and become a crusader for good. Awesome!

If he couldn’t come, I am guessing that the former head of Medicare, Don Berwick, is available, since he just lost his job. He has an unnerving habit of deeply understanding every problem put in front of him, and also of always grouping solutions into threes. So that could make him a good drinking game participant in some fashion, I believe. He sounds pretty righteously angry these days about losing his job and about how ludicrously expensive healthcare is. If we can keep him from going dark on that stuff, it’d be awesome to hear more about how he’d like to fix it, as well.

Thank you for the chance to think about awesome smart people I’d love to spend time with! Such a bonus that you’d be there too.

I don’t mean to brag….. but I’d have to bring myself.
Or…. Tim Tebow.
Or…. Jim Morrison.
Or…. Maybe Bradley Cooper… but that might not because you’d have no where to hide because I’d be totally banging him in the bathroom…. so maybe not Mr. Cooper.

First off, I would NOT bring this Lean Cuisine cause this bitch is too hot. So, I hope you’ll be serving something delish.

I’m torn between two.

1. Kim Kardashian – I loathe her, so hear me out. I’d only invite her because it would bring everyone together. All your guest would be making eyes at each other and whispering, “Who brought HER to this shin-dig?” Total party closeness.

2. Anyone OTHER than Kim Kardashian – Like even a wet sock would do. No explanation needed.

I’ll add my votes for David Tennant and Nathan Fillion and Anthony Bourdain (especially if he helps with the cooking), and Stephen Frye.

I’ll add in my boyfriend (because I just could not bring myself to attend a dinner party with Anthony Bourdain and NOT bring my BF), the guy who draws xkcd, and Jeremy Clarkson (maybe all 3 of the Top Gear guys, although it might be hard to find something Hammond will actually eat that’s not a fast-food burger, and you need something James May will not be able to stop eating, lest he attempt to monopolize the conversation).

Jon Stewart and Patrick Stewart, but only if they fight over me. Also, I am determined to spend my time in hell with Jon since he is going there and I’m pretty sure I am too even though there isn’t one. You can’t blame an atheist for not wanting to be overly bored after she dies and becomes nothing. So, I think Jon Stewart is my solution to that minor inconvenience. Oh there I go again…completely off-topic…sigh.

I second Mae West, and The Golden Girls. I say we add Terry Pratchett because not only is he satirical with a dark sense of humor disguised by playfulness but he is descending into dementia. Pratchett with dementia has GOT to be even cooler than when he started (dear Mr Pratchett- from what I have seen you are dealing with that in a wonderfully graceful manner) plus he is friends with Gaiman so there should be shenanigans of some sort. Also, Chuck Berry, who is still alive and no one pays any attention to him anymore and I am sure he would come out with something vulgar and delightful.

So many awesome suggestions….but here goes:
Jon Stewart, he just makes “news” funny even tho it mostly makes you want to cry
David Tennant, because he’s full of awesome
Maya Angelou, she’s my hero
can Modest Mouse play music at this party?
oh, and Luke Wilson, he’s friggen adorable

I call dibs on the seat next to Tim Tebow, though, I’m pretty sure it would just be a private party with the 2 of us in which case it really wouldn’t matter where I sat as long as he was naked and I had a bottle of massage oil ready.

For a dead person, I’d invite JRR Tolkien so he could teach me to speak Elvish.

Frank Caliendo but he has to change and be a different “person” every half hour. OH, and my friend Melanie because I won’t know anybody and I’ll have someone to make fun of all the people at the party on the way home. :)

Soooo much more fascinating (especially with Vi Hart)…… No question that I would definitely attend your party (if I was invited of course) and send “regrets” to Barbara (she seems to have lost her mind)

I met Ray Bradbury once at a talk he gave at a college in Illinois. This was about 15 years ago and he spent a good ten minutes bitching about how nobody goes to the library anymore, and that how this internet thing really sucks.

I guess Ray didn’t have a problem with the stinky homeless who hang out near the periodicals.

He also then mentioned they inked a deal for a Fahrenheit 451 movie starring Mel Gibson. Guess that didn’t work out. Probably for the best.

Might be random for your crowd but whatever: I’d love to hear a conversation between Viktor Frankl, Arthur Schopenhauer, Ludwig Wittgenstein and HH the Dalai Lama. With a side of Anton Von Leeuwenhoek and Louis CK. And Eleanor Roosevelt. And Marie Curie. While sitting on Dave Grohl’s face. I’m just saying.

i would totally invite Dr’s 10 and 11. also, the guys from Top Gear because i find them hilarious. honestly there is no one i find less interesting than the khardashian clan. i mean really your famous for no reason other than you are obnoxious rich peeps.

Neil Gaiman is a sure thing. J. k. Rowling because I want to know how her brain works. Rachel Maddow (yes I am that rare thing, a liberal democrat Texan). And for eye candy, Jack Harkness from Torchwood even though he’s gay and way too young for me.

I believe Bigfoot is a vegatarian, so that might be a problem. Also, D.B. Cooper would be a zombie. Michael Chabon would be a good choice to sit next to Neil Gaiman. With the Shat present, you’ll need another huge ego to cancel his out—may I suggest Stephen Colbert?

oh hell, I’m definitely there for Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer. Have been a fan of hers since the first Dresden Dolls album, and his… well, for a while. I would add Stephen King–although he strikes me as somewhat of curmudgeon, I’m totally enthralled by the way his mind works.

I haven’t read all the suggestions yet, as it takes a while to go through 629 posts. However, I’d like to add Rachel Maddow and second the inclusion of Neil Patrick Harris. Also Stephen Colbert. And Prof. Tyson. And maybe President Obama and the Yarn Harlot. That is all.

Is there a limit on how many people can come to the party? Because there are sooo many I would love to invite. Neil Patrick Harris (he seems to be a favorite already), Ellen DeGeneres, Dr. Who (all of them), Craig Ferguson (because I LOOOOVE that Scottish accent!), Troy Polamalu, Jude Law, the entire Monty Python troupe, Nathan Fillion, and that hot werewolf dude off of Grimm. That should do until I think of some more. Can’t wait for the party!! I’ll bring the Jack.

Let’s include Jareth the Goblin King and Ludo (but only if he doesn’t call the rocks), so Bigfoot will have someone to hang with. Also, M. Night Shyamalan, Jackie Chan, Will Farrell, Bono, and Kermit the Frog. I second Emma Thompson and Queen Latifah.

Of your guests, I heartily approve of Neil Gaiman and AFP, and Bill Shatner,three people I’ve always wanted to meet. I guess this boils down to who we’d dearly love to meet, because that’s what’s fascinating….to me, at least!
My list:
The three aforementioned, definitely
Top of my list would have to be Barry Manilow, just because I’ve wanted to meet him since I was 11.
Doug Jones
Stephen King to brainstorm with Neil Gaiman
Joe Montana
A lot of you have mentioned people who are no longer with us, and if that was on my wish list I’d have John Lennon and Ella Fitzgerald
Kevin Kline
Scott Bakula
Alec Baldwin
Dustin Hoffman, but only if he’s drinking, because I met him once when he was, and he was infinitely amusing
Ryan Gosling we’ll throw in for some eye candy.
Katy Perry we’ll throw OUT because she annoys me in the extreme.
Craigory Ferguson, possibly the funniest man alive, but only if he also brings his puppets.
Wow, I would have to get a new house to accomodate this dinner party! :)

1) Mark Zuckerberg (so I can stab him in the eye with a crab fork)
2) Eric Clapton
3) Billy Connolly
4) Kris from PrettyAllTrue
5) Father Benedict Groeschel
6) Aaron Sorkin
7) Peter Jackson
8) A Hobbit to be named later
9) Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerruh Jones (so I can stab him right between his weasel eyes with a steak knife)
10) Pamela Anderson. (Because, duh).

Just email me directions to your place, Jenny. And a round trip ticket from Auckland would be lovely.

David Lynch
The ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt
Anne Sexton
jeannette winterson
Garbage including BB and Veela
Tegan and Sara
Beth Ditto
Cate Blanchett
Sylvia plath
Virginia wolf
Cokie Roberts
Karl Marx
Bugs Bunny and Daffy
Paulo Coelho
Etta James just to say thank you for the gift of her beautiful voice and to wish her the most peaceful ending possible
Dorothy Allison
Starhawk
Emily Dickinson
Fu Hsi
Hilary Clinton and ply her with wine until she reveals all her truths…
Mary Magdalene
Einstein
Woflgang Amadeus Mozart
Janet Fitch
Dorothea Dix
My mother back when life held value and she was happy or at peace
Wilhelmina W. Witchiepoo(from H.R. Pufnstuf) and she has to bring here vroom broom
Kermit the Frog and Animal
Tigger and Eeyore
The Bronte sisters
Audre Lorde
Alice Walker but i think someone might already be bringing her so she can stay longer now
Ubaka Hill an amazing percussionist, poet, songwriter, and drumsong orchestra
Whitney Cummings
Stephen Colbert
Susan B. Anthony
Edgar Allan Poe
Harriet Tubman
Mr Bill(from SNL)
Michelle Tea(sister spit and writer)
a few random unknowns because getting to know new people can be fascinatingly fun.
Gilda Radner
Aaron Sorkin
Cin Salach(grand slam poetry winner, spoken word, musician)
Lisa Buscani as she makes me giggle so hard i almost pee
Alice In Wonderland and the Cheshire cat
and so many more we would need one humongous fucking mansion or mansions…
so I will end with anais nin.

My first stop here. Thanks for the good read, this is great fun. Here’s my 2011 guest list:

1. Whitey Bulger. There is nothing like adding a well-connected, Machiavellian, hardened criminal to the mix. Hiding all those years! Imagine the secrets and skeletons he could spill after a few glasses of bubbly and a promise of freedom…
2. Also, because her list is intolerably trite and boring, Barbara Walter owes us some extra entertainment… she should be made to come dressed in an outrageous party gown created by fashion/costume designer Chris March.
3. Heck, he’s funny, I’d like to see Chris March at the party too. He may wear whatever he wants.
4. I’m going with Craig Ferguson as well. He’s seen it all, he’s wise and witty, and he cracks me up. He’s my official Scottish American Ambassador. A great party should have an ambassador.
5. Best selling author Ann Patchett. She’s got a new book out, yet, I’m still mulling over her Bel Canto, which I read years ago. I’m sure she’s got many more marvelous stories to tell and I’d love to hear a few first-hand.
6. How about TV voice over guy Erik Thompson? I’d feel incredibly intelligent speaking with someone who sounds… so… authoritative. In fact, why not a room FULL of voice over guys. He should bring his friends. They could narrate a party video.
7. No gathering is complete without a couple of Housewives from Bravo. Pick any three… perhaps, one who can cook would be nice. She can bring some finger foods. Regardless, you are guaranteed cleavage, high heels, big hair/hair extensions, shameless plugs for personal gain, some BOTOX, as well as verbal barbs, physical shoving and pushing, dinner tables overturned, and, at least one nervous breakdown. Apparently, we are all entertained by this kind of behavior… so, go with it. They’ll be great in the party video.
8. Progressive Auto Insurance’s “Flo,” aka actress Stephanie Courtney, is a breath of fresh air and a must-have guest in my book. How could you party without her? Maybe she could bring her bobbleheads as party favors.
9. Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and her astronaut husband Mark Kelly. They deserve a good party.
10. If she could only be here, Elizabeth Taylor deserves an invite. For all her marvelous films, her iconic beauty, sensational lifetime experiences, many big-name husbands, charitable contributions, and most of all, for her orgasmic, world-class collection of fine jewelry, including the many, many pieces that just made for a “jaw-dropping” world-record breaking jewelry auction. Talk about a legacy…

Hmm. I have 3: actor Alan Tudyk, writer Terry Pratchett (who wrote Good Omens with Neil Gaiman, so it works), and writer Christopher Moore. Those 3 I know for sure would make excellent dinner party guests. All 3 are hilarious.

Great idea! First I’d invite @dcurtis. He is a world traveler and Superhero! Then I’d invite all my childhood heroes, John Wayne, The Lone Ranger, Robert Horton, Tonto, John Ford, Roy Rogers, Gene Autry and of course Clint Eastwood and what’s a party without Chuck Norris!!! I can’t wait!

That guy from “Storage Wars”, Darrell Sheets. Mainly because I want to see him wearing a festive Christmas wife-beater undershirt, complete with pin-up girl tattoos. Strategic seating is a must: next to Queen Elizabeth, making awkward conversation about how much her fancy hat is worth, would be hilarious.

i think will ferrell and john c. reilly would be a ton of fun. and i’d invite martha stewart, because i’ve always wanted to meet her and she could help decorate. i’d like to be seated in jake gyllenhal’s lap, please.

Tina Fey WITH Alec Baldwin (but only if he stops playing Words with Friends long enough to entertain us)…and how about Jon Stewart? You might want a spiritual miracle worker…like Tim Tebow? seat him next to Lady GaGa…imagine that conversation….

Obviously, I’ll have to throw my dinner party on a different night, because I’m also inviting Neil, Amanda, Wil, and Eddie. To continue the guest list: Jensen Ackles (and his wife), Jared Padalecki (sans his wife), Alan Rickman, Judi Dench, Ian McKellan, Nick Stahl, and you if you’d like to come!