High Holiday Worship Services with Cantor Debbi Ballard Begin for the first time

7 years ago, I performed my first wedding. 6 years ago, I performed my first Bat Mitzvah. Today, I am so proud to announce the official launch of “Shema Koleinu“, our non-profit synagogue-like organization that provides outreach to South Florida’s Jewish and Interfaith/Intercultural unaffiliated community. After several years of providing quality, meaningful life cycles for families who do not belong to synagogues, I wanted to do more. I wanted to mean more. I knew, that in order to truly be “My Personal Cantor”, I must provide everything a true synagogue did, but was committed to eliminating the membership, dues, and business aspect of the synagogue.

It was not only critical to provide meaningful life cycles, it was critical to bring my community a place of belonging, a place they could call their community, and feel great about building. We can create community by action, not by dollars. We can create community through mitzvah projects and group prayer, and not need to pay electric bills to do it!

But yet, we must build. Bringing my community an amazing High Holy Day worship experience was my priority this year, and I’m so excited to announce that I have contracted with the Miramar Cultural Center in Miramar FL, to bring West Broward its first meaningful, uplifting, and spiritually abundant High Holiday worship services for the unaffiliated. Regardless of your affiliation – or not – you can now worship and honor the new year with us, in a beautiful setting, with meaningful prayer and leadership. Our services will be family-friendly, so bring your children! And – we are even offering a tiny tot worship service for both Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

We need the community’s help in building something they can call their own! For more information, please contact Cantor Debbi Ballard at 954-646-1326. Watch for our official ticket sales announcement in the next few days, and please – let us know what you can do to help. This is not MY event – this is YOURS! Please come and be a part of something – REVOLUTIONARY! You’ll be so happy you did!

I just came across a well-written post by a Reform Rabbi in Washington, DC, in response to the recent NYT article that seems to be hitting a lot of nerves around the world. While I recognize that some of my colleagues provide this as a fast track, meaningless way to substantiate a monstrous party – not all of us do, and so here is my side of the story!

(Article)

Bar Mitzvah Training: It’s not just a job….

The New York Times story about on-line bar mitzvah preparation caught lots of attention (at least for a few minutes). You should read it if you have not. It offers a window into some basic problems we face in the American Jewish community today. First, what do synagogues matter anymore? It is possible to do everything Jewish without a synagogue. We often say that the community you find in a synagogue is vital to your Jewish life and not available anywhere else. Whether or not that’s true, the parents featured in the article don’t seem to care. And yet, they DO want bar mitzvah ceremonies for their kids. Or do they? The other important issue in the article is about the meaning of bar/bat mitzvah? The final line of the article says it all: “Once Joanne Kapsack had found a rabbi for Eli to work with, she pretty much bowed out of the preparations, she said. “I just cared about the party.” I am sure this happens equally often in our temple (and others). I must admit that I have never been a bar mitzvah party naysayer. I’ve either stayed out of it and treated it as something outside my scope or I have embraced the idea of the parties as part of the mitzvah and part of the community gathering that can occur. But, nothing has disappointed me more than hearing the post-event assessment from two recent bat mitzvah mothers: it was a let-down. They whole experience, when it was all said and done, was a let down for these mothers. What else could it be after all the hype, the buildup, the money and time spent on it? I have no problem adopting new technology – though I don’t really want an office that looks like the trading floor of a brokerage house. I have no problem with adopting different standards than previous generations simply accepted in order to become temple members. I also have no problem with completely revolutionizing the way we do Jewish education in general. But I do have problems with the ongoing march toward deification of bar and bat mitzvah. Within this trend is not so much innovation as desperation. We will do anything, it seems, to make our kids and ourselves feel good while we and they wallow in ambivalence about our Judaism.Dear

(My reply)

Rabbi Roos,

I just came across your comment and wanted to share another aspect of this situation that many seem to forget, or are not aware of.

It saddens me, too, to see the rite of passage as nothing but an excuse to show off one’s financial stature. I’m not a nay-sayer either, but whole-heartedly believe that the community celebration should be one of meaning, with the closest of friends and family surrounding the child, and showing love and support.

I am one of those Officiants, who provide unaffiliated lifecycles to my families, however, not for the purpose of fast tracking, eliminating, or for any other motive. These are families who got lost in the synagogue shuffle, and felt that synagogues were busy expecting congregants to meet their own financial needs, rather than vice versa.

In my town of Weston, FL, the Reform synagogue was bursting at its seams 5 years ago. With 700 families, they had one Rabbi with a lifetime contract since day 1, and a Cantorial soloist (not even a Cantor).

B’Nai Mitzvah services were doubled, to two a day, on Saturday morning ONLY, with 2 students in each service.

Many families wanted Havdalah services. Many families wanted smaller, private services to be held in the chapel, without the big pomp and circumstance and showiness of keeping up with those Jones’s. Many wanted their Rabbi (or officiant) to actually know their child’s name, but couldn’t commit to 3-5 days a week at the synagogue because of other commitments and demands on their childrens’ and families’ lives.

So – because the local synagogue couldn’t (or wouldn’t) meet those families’ needs – and because they truly wanted a meaningful, intimate connection to Judaism, and an opportunity to make their Judaism more personal and meaningful, and relevant, they found me.

I am a deeply traditional, spiritual Jew, with a profound belief, and relationship with G-d. I actually teach my students how to pray – how to understand G-d, and make G-d meaningful and relevant. I actually engage my students in learning, and experiencing Judaism, by cooking in their homes at holidays, teaching them how to teach their parents (many who are in Interfaith marriages) and how to initiate a worship-style dialogue at their Friday night Shabbat dinner table.

Please know that not all of us have offices that look like Wall Street. Mine is covered with photos of families I have worked with, pictures of places that my incredible job has taken me to, and is an environment that helps me remember that I am here to serve people, and not the other way around.

Perhaps if synagogues began acting the same way- more families would walk in the doors, rather than out.

With the most profound respect for your thoughts,

Cantor Debbi Ballard

Want to create your own Bar Mitzvah “dream come true”?Contact Cantor Debbi todayto see how you can co-create the event of your dreams.

So, now that High Holidays are officially over, with the completion of Simchat Torah, I really didn’t want to let much time go by without talking about what an incredible experience I had at Temple Beth David, in Palm Beach Gardens.

I must start off by saying thanks to Cantor Ann Turnoff, for recommending me to Rose, the Education Director, at TBD. Rose is just amazing. She was so happy, upbeat, and positive, every single time I spoke to her. I know she is a busy woman – but she always had time for me, and greeted me with a big smile – even over the phone! The pleasure I received from my HH experience was a direct result of Rose’s passion and enthusiasm, as well as Rabbi Michael Singer, and Cantor Jennifer Kanarek.

First – I was pretty much given carte blance, to create a service that would be fun, upbeat, and engaging. This was something I’ve been doing for 10 years, but, definitely not for a Conservative synagogue. I was caught in a conflict between trying to keep my nusach “correct” and making it FUN. And, even when I thought I had the last draft finished, Rose said – make it a little MORE fun!

So – I cut loose, and created a service that would engage my littlest congregants, as well as the parents. It was so much fun! On Rosh Hashanah, the kids acted out the story of Creation. For the Hakafah, they had about 40 small Torahs, and all of my kids paraded around the room singing and dancing.

On Yom Kippur, we acted out the story of Jonah and the Whale. We asked questions, and talked about forgiveness, appreciation, and making new promises for the coming year. In all, I did 5 services, and while I’m still recovering from mental exhaustion, it was the most amazing experience of my life.

I cannot forget to thank Rabbi Singer and his wife and children, for inviting me to their home for both Erev Rosh Hashanah, as well as RH afternoon, on the 2nd day. Their home was lovely, and it felt so good to be invited, and cared about by them. Rose invited me to her daughter’s home on Erev Yom Kippur – and that was amazing, too. Her daughter cooks the BEST challah I have ever tasted! Her family was lovely, and again, they treated me so well – I felt like this was my family, too!

I also want to say thank you to the many TBD congregants who made me feel like I was at home. On the second day of RH, after my service was finished, I went in to the main sanctuary, to listen to Rabbi’s sermon (which was also amazing) and they offered me an aliyah!! That was so nice, and I am so appreciative to each and every one of the members and staff at TBD for including me. I think the families really appreciated having a venue where they could worship with their children, and I think it’s so important for children to watch their parents worship as well. Otherwise – how else will they learn?

I am hoping that TBD will become a home away from home for me. I want to work with them, to help increase their family participation, and attract members with fun and exciting ways to worship. If watching Rabbi Singer and Rose in action are any indication – we’ll be soaring to new heights, in 5769.

L’Shanah Tovah to everyone at TBD! Thank you for making my High Holidays such a special experience!

Wow, 8 days with no posts – I know, pretty unacceptable in the blogging world, but until they manufacture a 25th hour to the day, there has just been no way!

I just wanted to wish everyone a very Happy New Year, and convey my intention for you to bring everything you dream of into your lives this year. For the first time ever, in my life, I am really living my dream, and so it is more important for me than ever to continue to take inventory of what I have accomplished, succeeded and failed at, and what I want to do better.

I also wanted to stress that we cannot ask for anything at all, if we have not appreciated yet what we have in the present. I know it may sound hokey, but, it seems that every time I write about my appreciations for what has come into my life, more just comes in! And it seems that when I focus on what I don’t have that I want, more of what I don’t want comes in its place. So, once again – keep thanking whoever you want to thank for what you have. Don’t forget to be thankful for crazy things like tires on your car, and elevators, and hair color in a bottle. It’s the little things that make our lives interesting!

This year, I am asking God to help me find more ways to be a better, deeper, more productive person. I can’t expect anything more to come to me, without finding more ways to give. I’ve written about it before, but I really would like to become more involved in a charity that is meaningful in my life, and that I can make a difference in. I’m not sure what that is, but I intend to find it this year.

I’m incredibly excited (but a little nervous) about my Family Service at Temple Beth David in WPB. I’m so lucky to have found this amazing little Conservative synagogue up there with the coolest Rock and Roll Rabbi (Rabbi Michael Singer), the sweetest little Cantor (Cantor Jennifer Kanarek), and the most amazing Education Director (Rose Rosenkrantz) I have ever met. They are warm, loving, supportive, empowering, and creative. They have welcomed me into their world, and I cannot wait to be a part of it. They have been so generous to me already, by offering my family space in the services, and inviting me to dinner on Erev RH. I can’t wait to celebrate with them, and bring a warm, loving, exciting presence to their Family Service.

So, over the next few days, I will be vocalizing, practicing my guitar and warming up my fingers, meditating and getting focused for the upcoming services. Of course, I still have a new Sunday School program starting up this weekend, and weddings to write and plan, but, there just won’t be much spare time, so I may not be back until after RH.

In the meantime, L’shanah Tova. May God inscribe you in the Book of Life. May you achieve everything you dream of, and may you be blessed with a good year, an abundant year, a year of peace, and a year of blessings.