At Considerate Counselling I see couples at every stage of their relationships and each can bring their own relationship problems. First and most importantly is to realise that you are not on your own in having difficulties with your relationship and usually if you both want to make a difference then your relationship can be saved.

Yet it is worthwhile being clear from the outset, that change in a relationship can be hard and takes commitment from both partners. There will be challenges along the way and there is the risk of failure. If you have encountered problems in your relationship it may be worth considering relationship counselling.

What many of the couples who have successfully completed couples counselling notice is that they understand and communicate better with each other, so it is hardly surprising that the number one reason for entering couples counselling is

Communication breakdown

This is often expressed in different ways, not listening, not understanding, not attentive poor communication can include anything that leaves one partner feeling upset, ignored, anxious, or even wanting to leave. Notice that communication in this sense includes listening, body language, tone, the language that you use and the consistency of your behaviour.

A variant of this is when couples feel that they have drifted apart and they are rather like flatmates

When the couple describes “just sharing the same living space”, they are often describing a loss of emotional touch points, the intimacy that goes with any close relationship. This may indicate a need for counselling. Counselling aims to help the partners re-connect and understand each other’s needs and how they can full fill them

No list of relationship problems would be complete without acknowledging affairs and infidelity.

Affairs and infidelity put huge strains on relationships, yet it is possible to recover from these relationship problems. It takes hard work and commitment to get past the strong feelings which are generated. Each couple is different, but if there is a determination to try to recover then the honest environment of therapy often produces the desired result. In the worst case it helps to give an ending that the partners can move on from in a healthier way.

Finally conflict, every relationship has it and it is often a source of problems is a relationship

The reality is that two individuals in a relationship are not going to agree on everything and are going to have relationship problems. Knowing how to handle conflict, or if you prefer knowing how to fight right, is key to a successful relationship. When a couple finds that they can’t resolve disagreements or their arguments are getting too heated or out of control, perhaps the time to get some help from a couples counsellor has come.