What a pain in the back!

This morning I had scheduled Yin and Sit Yoga and Meditation, some “me” time.

After waking up to Roger on the iPad continuously this morning, I decided to finish my weekend work while riding the stationary bike. I was done by 9. I then did homework with Roger and followed it with some fun karaoke. Then the time arrived: time for me, time for yoga.

I was in tears from the beginning movements to the final savasana. I was in total pain from my neck to my tailbone to my right leg. This is where Roger, my son with autism, rammed his head into my spine after not getting his way. This was on January 2nd and I don’t even remember what it was regarding. All I remember was it was post-massage as I plopped onto the bed on my belly and was peacefully lying there. I let out the loudest cry. It immediately hurt so terribly. I don’t think I ever produced a scream like that even when I broke my knee or ankle.

It has been three weeks and the pain has not gotten better. I have tried Tylenol and anti-inflammatories while using the heating pad but this has not helped in the least bit. I kept wondering where all my depression and lack of motivation came from at the beginning of this year. Today was my reminder. I am so glad that the majority of the class is done with your eyes closed, so others did not see the tears stream down my face.

When class was over, and that could not come quickly enough — that damn 75 minutes, I rushed to my car for a proper cry. Then the thoughts raced: have to make an appointment this week. With who? My primary doctor? My back doctor who I am not really fond of — seems too surgery happy? My pain doctor? Next thoughts: I really am going to have to cancel being teacher’s helper this week, my back cannot handle the copier. Followed by thoughts of that yoga retreat that accepted me on “scholarship” but is less than 2 weeks away. How can I possibly do a yoga retreat right now? I do not foresee my pain level being that lessened in that short period of a time – especially since specialized doctors usually do not have readily available appointments.

I told Rob to occupy Roger for a bit. I am in such a terrible mood right now. I have 2 loads of laundry and cannot even muster the strength to empty the dryer to put the other load in. And the state of the house is in total disarray due to Roger’s “box fort” building. I may hide myself away in the bedroom for the time being until I can cope better with it all.

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Published by leahbisrael

I work full-time, am a full-time mother of a child with autism, and am a full-time wife of an incredible artist. I was diagnosed with bipolar and have lots on my mind at all times! More recently I was undiagnosed with bipolar, replaced with OCD, depression, and Aspergers. I have a full plate, but I'm always trying to add more (clearly because I'm crazy)!
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2 thoughts on “What a pain in the back!”

Leah, Most important, did you have an x-ray taken of the spot where you were injured. No joke, Roger could have broken something in your spine. If that proves negative you may have to go for some PT or chiropractic help, I think I’d try that first. If you don’t get immediate relief, at least for a short period, then go to your primary and tell him/her that you want a different Ortho guy. But don’t just suffer. In these days, we must be proactive with our health. Ask your mom and dad if they have any lidocaine patches. If used correctly they really work for me. Not so much for Gail and Bill. I guess it depends on the kind of pain. I hope you feel better soon. An FYI, I tripped over my stupid little dog last Sept. while serving dinner to my son and grandson. The dog ran between my legs and then screamed because I stepped on him somehow. Well with the full tray of dinner in my hands I tried to jump away from the dog with both legs going in different direction. I’m still in so much pain its hard to imagine. My ortho guy says its a pinched nerve on a bone spur (IN MY BUTT!). It’s 4 months now. Tomorrow I go to the surgi center for some kind of shot in my spine (better than an cortisone shot) that should take care of this pain. Good God, I hope so.