AND … I’m BACK!

I thought I’d bring the ol’ bloggy McBloggerson out of the basement for a little action. Yes, there will be action. Sorry Bloggy for neglecting you so. Do you accept my apology? Nobody puts Bloggy in the corner.

Ok here is the quick run down of the happening life of …. me. Well, it isn’t so happening as of late.

Two weeks ago I made a choice that many will find outrageous! and lazy! and whatthefuckisshedoing! but, I will stand by the decision I made and put my whole heart into the direction I’ve decided to pursue. Hold your horses people, I’m getting to the details … geez, so pushy.

The other day I was making the lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng journey back to my home and by lonnnnnnnnnnng I mean, 20 minutes. I guess it’s only long to me who has to unfuckingbutton her jeans on the way home because holy shit if I have to sit in this car one more minute with the waist band digging into my 7th fat roll, I will scream. The screaming I could do without.

So there I was, rolling down the long stretch of Hell that is FM1960 East (for those of you who know and hate Houston as much as I do) hoping to Jesus above that I didn’t get pulled over because then I would have to explain to the kind officer, “sorry Officer, I had to unbutton because they were just too tight.”

I spotted a sign like a beacon from above *not real sure on the exact wording here* that stated they (and by they I mean, the weightloss Gods, duh!) could save me from the fat. Like some Fabio-esque doctor will sweep in from his jungle vine and inject me with a blissful and miraculous sirum wherein I will lose 80 lbs in 3 days. Oh, what do you say doctor? That isn’t how it works? Wait … you aren’t even a doctor? Well that’s just false fucking advertising.

After floating home on my weightloss hopes and dreams (thankfully obeying all traffic laws and not having to explain to an officer why I was *this* close to being exposed), I talked it over with the hubbalub. While he has his concerns ..

1.) this feller ain’t even got him a peeatchdee (oh wouldn’t it be funny if Marco talked like that?)

2.) what if the medicine gives me like, a freaking heartattack or something?

3.) uhm, expensive?

… we decided I would at least go for a consultation.

The next Monday (they are closed on Fridays, whatthefuck!) I scheduled an appointment for August 18th (today! ole! ole!) After asking the receptionist about eleventybillion questions for which I will surely by charged, I learned that I will see the good old notreallyadoctor once a month, each visit will cost me $60 which is includes the cost for the medicine that they will be prescribing me (PS this is going to be a biglongrunonsentencedealwithit) which is called Phentermine (an appetite suppressant prescribed to obese patients to reduce weight when used in unison with diet and exercise.) I will also receive a B12 shot (needles! ah! no!) a diet and exercise plan (which I need some MAYJAH schooling on so, Thank God.)

Whew. That was alot of information and run on sentences.

I was and am still conflicted with the fact that I can’t do this on my own. I don’t have the willpower and, you know what? I’m ok with the fact that I need help. Last Friday I weighed myself for the first time since the wedding and I weighed 249.7 pounds. I cried like a little bitch and gave in to the fact that no, I cannot do this anymore. I know many of you have differing opinions on how weight loss should be achieved but, at the end of the day, weight loss is weight loss however you look at it. The fat will be away from my heart and pressure lessened on my vital organs.

If Mark was still employed (!!! more on that in a later post) I would have seriously considered lap band but, alas no job = no health insurance.

Anyway, the point is, I will be making a change. Whether people support me or not is totally up to that person because at this point, Idon’treallyfuckingcare, it isn’t about people, this is about me.

(Overuse of the comma, I know!)

My appointment is at 2:15 or something so I will blog when I get home and let you all know how it goes. Also, I’m going to try and not cry like a little bitch when I get my B-12 (somebody hold me, I’m scared. Wahh.)

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5 Responses to “AND … I’m BACK!”

Prepare yourself for the jitters, because that’s exactly what you’re going to feel like! I totally understand what you’re going through and hope it works really well for you- or at least to jump start you into something else. Keep us posted, will ya?!

(And FWIW, since starting WW I think the best thing is having to log what I’ve eaten every day and seeing my points go down, down, down with every BAD thing I eat and only down a little with every good thing. I’m competitive with that number!)