Excessive Ejaculation

from Hour, April 14, 1994,
as reprinted in The Newsletter on Civil Liberties, August 22, 1994,
as noted by Michael Travers (mt@media.mit.edu)

Canadian government standards on "group ejaculation"
and "bootlicking"

In November, Secret City revealed that the Canadian
government has standards on ejaculation. The government had taken a
stand on "excessive ejaculation."

Secret City operative Harvey Blackman wrote a series of
queries asking the government to explain its policies regarding what
ideas are illegal to import into Canada. By law, the government had to
respond.

Secret City has discovered that not only does the
Canadian government police images or sentences depicting "excessive
ejaculation," it also has standards for "group ejaculation" and
"bootlicking."

The genuine memo for "group ejaculation" ... explains
that simultaneous ejaculation by two or more people on one person is
an illegal idea to import into Canada.

Bootlicking canadian-style

The Canadian government also has a strict policy regarding
"bootlicking." You are not allowed to import ideas or pictures into
Canada which depict "bootlicking in a sexual context." According to
Canada Customs Notice N-198, depictions of "submissive acts such as
the licking of another person's boot in a sexual context" are not
allowed into the country.

To help those who may be participating in illegal bootlicking or are
worried they may import a sentence into the country which contains an
illegal bootlicking description, Secret City has provided
both a legal and an illegal bootlicking sentence.