Healing of mental, emotional and physical issues to live a meaningful life.

Archive for December, 2017

What do I gain or lose is a prime question in relationships today. It often takes a long time for people to understand people, even if they have lived in close proximity. In fact, especially when they have lived in close proximity, whatever the name of the relationship. Either the understanding is lacking or the population around makes minced meat of the equation, In ANY relationship.

So much wear and tear happens within our emotions and expectations that we don’t see a lot of things with clarity. And, ultimately, we start feeling that we are gaining only headaches and depressions and losing our health and peace of mind. And then the inevitable happens…distances.

One of the big challenges is when there is a communication cripple confronting you who is impossible and too complicated to read unless you are a clairvoyant… And YOU are intrinsically a demonstrative and spontaneous person who subsequently , is forced to start closing up and getting all bottled up because their words are hitting a wall and coming back to hit them. It is an unnerving feeling and one that closes channels like nothing else does.

Under no circumstances can shrink or twisting personalities against your will contribute to your well being. So, the cognizance of gains and losses may be replaced by the questions of how meeting points may be arrived at, if both can will this as the course of action, of course. Between the two sides of the distance pole lies the meeting point and the way towards reducing that distance starts with the capturing of the mischievous little devil called ” ego” and blindness towards those who are mischief makers because, after all, you love them, don’t you ?

We all have an opinion about something. Some of us have an opinion on everything. Healthy debates are absolutely essential. But are these opinions relevant, based on some facts or coming from a space “it is my right to express”. You know, “this is a democracy and I can say what I want”. Sure. We can’t argue with that. Except that the consequences of those opinions are of prime importance.

We all think we are right from where we are looking at life and situations. We look at the same thing with different eyes and a different mind which is wired differently. And obviously, the conclusions we arrive at are also varied.

The only people who desist from an opinion are perhaps the suppressed, depressed or fearful or, maybe those who just don’t want to go there, for falling from grace maybe or for whatever reasons.

Those who are vocal will have plenty to say. Others might follow. Like, in a theatre, there are players and there is an audience.

This world is also pretty much similar. But for every tongue that speaks, there are two ears attached. The tongue is enclosed behind the lips for a reason: to give an opinion when required only or to keep silence. And the ears are outside: to listen carefully and take in what is necessary while throwing out the garbage through the second ear. Including harmful opinions, hate inspiring opinions, wicked opinions, dishonest opinions etc.

What a wonderful vehicle (body) we humans have! And how we abuse it and misuse it! We must contribute by way of opinions. But, the cardinal rule is:

At some point in time, we have to answer one important question to ourselves, and that is, what does each of us stand for? This introspection is most important for those who don’t have a perspective or have not explored this within themselves.

We don’t realize that our self esteem largely depends on this. When you don’t take a stand or your stand is that you don’t want to take a stand at all is when you are divided into several people within yourselves, each saying a different thing and initiating a perpetual tug of war.

To live meaningfully, it is essential to live by a set of rules, ideologies, norms and goals which determine and define YOU. So, when you are not happy or taking your identity from how others perceive you, you have yet to come into your own.

The idea is not to get swept away by the tide but to use resistance so as to stand upright even around quick sands and when to resist and how much to resist is the evidence of a dawning wisdom and of standing in your own space with conviction.

The karma theory does not always sit well on people who feel they have been targeted unnecessarily without any provocation. And wronged, Also made to pay a very heavy price, sometimes for most of their lives. Overtly and examined at face value, it is a believable “truth”, though a subjective one. The question is, why do certain things happen to certain people only? Why not to others? There are many unseen reactions and belief systems at work behind the scenes which are not “seen” and therefore, people may end up believing in a partial truth or even the illusion of truth which they can understand.

Once karma hits without warning, and what is perceived as a gross injustice by the injured party towards the perpetrator turns into a wound, karma is not a reason they will believe. They call it preaching because it has not been experienced by the person who speaks of karma. But, truly, I don’t think I know anyone who has NOT seen the theory “what goes around comes around” work in their lives. Often, it takes many years to even start bearing the consequences of karma based on its quality. But it DOES come to fruition.

The crucial point for us humans is not to wish ill to those who have worked against us because the rewards or otherwise come from above very scientifically and clinically. There is no need for humans to take this onus upon themselves, because that would not be their business. The equation is between the doer and the Almighty.

Envy makes people do one of the two things: either putting down the object of envy directly, or deliberately putting up other people in their presence, especially when in a group.

Forget methods for a minute! It is just so sad that there is that need to feel envious.

I remember the simple question we were asked in school. How do you shorten a line without touching it? And the answer was, by drawing a bigger line next to it. Very positive!

But in this case, it is hardly positive. The method is the same but intentions so different. It is really the intention that determines all action and outcome. And the origin of any intention is either positive or negative.

Simple! If we kill to save or protect a life, that is positive. But if we are overly generous but inwardly not well wishers, whatever we do lacks purity, because the intention lacks purity.

Purity is simple. And positive intention is simple, too. There are no layers of deviousness there, nor required either.

Our spiritual texts speak of the third person perspective. A common parlance is also to be clinical. To keep your emotions away to stay out of involvement. But really, if you learn to observe people, it is an extremely interesting pastime. A study of humanities, humaneness and inhumanity as well. Without judgment and as an observer.

I have found that if you start doing this, gradually that observation starts to turn into introspection. Because you start sensing your own response, however clinical you may try to be. It is impossible to be 100 percent clinical. Even sadhus have feelings. But they are better with detachment than we are.

There is a constant learning this way, both at the macro and micro levels. And there is a wonderful side effect in that you feel light and happy, and hopefully, wiser, too.

Time is linear. From the day we are born, we are moving towards death. Ascension is symbolized as going upwards, evolving, elevating ourselves. Even the Holy Cross means just that. A horizontal line crossed by a vertical. The kunadalini rising through the chakras upwards also means the same, that evolution implies breaking the linear and circular dimensions to ascend, through higher vibrations generated by higher and purer thought processes and use this life to shed all that is meaningless for our ascension. Only we can do that by travelling the road enlightened people walk along , to walk in their footsteps and to learn from them before we move along on our own towards the only destination that we have been given this life for.