Friday, 9 November 2012

Domestic Bloggess

Now I know you probably have me down as some sort of Domestic Goddess and a candidate for Parent of the Year.

Wholesome organic meals on the table every evening, with beaming healthy happy children eagerly anticipating their Turnip Surprise before doing their homework with great enthusiasm and erudition.

When I have fulfilled my tasks as school volunteer extraordinaire, PTA member, and general Pillock Pillar of the Community, you know doubt imagine I skip home, don my pinny, and clean every inch of the house with nothing more noxious than a squeeze of lemon juice, a sprinkle of bicarb, and a whole lot of elbow grease.

Not for me the towering pile of ironing looming ominously over the top of the washing basket, the layer of not-so-fine dust and cat hair covering every surface, or the quick fix of fish fingers and oven chips...

Yeah, right!

I am far more likely to be found arsing about in the garden taking photos of myself and flashing my petticoat!

What has it got in its pocketses?

(Our family are all very much looking forward to the release of The Hobbit.)

I can cook fine, I just don't like it
much.

I hate the drudgery and pointlessness of housework.

But sometimes even I have to make an effort.

It's
Seldom Seen's 9th birthday today, so there was a cake to make, and beds
to change ready for a sleepover, and tea to shop for and prepare, and
even a bit of hoovering to be done (encouraged by Melanie's tales of Upright Love).

I found these devil horns while I was tidying up, don't they match my outfit perfectly?

I always prefer the uncooked cake mixture to the final product somehow.

Maintaining high levels of hygiene at all times, obviously...

Dead Ringerfor Love was on the radio.

My Top Tip for Successful Baking - have a little dance in the kitchen. Makes it all much more bearable.

Hmm, bit on the wonky side. But there is nothing wrong with a bit of wonk.

I even had time for a lunch of yesterday's leftover homemade spicy butternut squash soup and two of the best cheeses ever - Gouda flavoured with wasabi, and a white Stilton with red chilli.

Mmmm, I believe in cheeses.

And I bought this fabulous pan at Chesterfield flea market yesterday for £2.

53 comments:

You vision of domesticity! Get you with your fabulous devil horns, flirty skirt and chocolate cake. All this talk of fancy cheeses and petticoat baring has got me spilling my wine over the keyboard in excitement. I'm glad that your house always has a resident cat on the table when there's food about, too. I can't enjoy dinner without a subtle sprinkling of hair.Hope the Seldom seem kid has a brilliant birthday and that the gang buns out early enough for some quality time for Mama and Papa.Love and domesticity! xxxxxxxxxxxx

I totally agree with your comment that the devil's in domesticity. I haven't done a stroke of cleaning on my day off today. Ive been arsing around, stroking my vintage sheets and dying my hair. Whoop whoop. As for baking, I'm completely rubbish at it but you, dear Curtise, are one hot baking mama. That cake looks the bees knees and so do you, as always. Have a great weekend. Xx

Your outfit's great - especially with the devil horns. What I'd really like to know is, how you don't end up covered in flour as I do?I agree that the mixture is better than the cake - delicious!Have a lovely weekend.

You are a Goddess for shizzle but who could let you do all that work looking so good, you should be outside photographing your fabulous self! That dress with it's pockets is absolutely sweet and there is that peep of your petticoat that always makes me smile and wonder where did I put mine :)

Nice job on that cake, it looks bowl looking good too! Did kitty really get a lick, naughty Mommy! I am an absolute nut for cheeses and both of these sound like something I would hide from everyone else and save only for me :) especially that stilton with red chili, I'm drooling! that butternut squash soup looks pretty tasty too, do the kids eat that?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to OWEN! Have fun with that party and your weekend!Lotsoflove~me

Praise be to cheeses! Thank you for the glimpse behind the scenes, and the reveal of the devil horns along with your true nature, which I adore more and more and more. You are even perfecter. Your cardigan is spectacular, silhouette amazing, and ripe for petticoat flashing.

We are in agreement about housework and who wants to be a domestic goddess anyway ? Bloody boring I'd say. Did you do the obligatory finger sucking a la Nigella when you made Owens cake ? It looks delicious by the way and obviously puss thinks so too. I've done tons of housework today, only because I've got friends coming tomorrow whose gaffs are both mega tidy. I've made soup and the oven's on for a chocolate fudge cake. Fabbo saucepan and a bargain at £2. Hope the boys behave themselves and Owen has a great birthday.x

You're certainly a Domestic Goddess in my book! And seeing you so sweetly busy in your English kitchen boosts my vote even more. Jeez, just the fact that you made a dessert is an extraordinary accomplishment in my kitchen, and cake is my man's favorite food. Not just favorite dessert, but favorite FOOD. I'm so mean and selfish. ;(

Love that skirt, reminds me of one I lost at a dry cleaners. They changed owners and lost two skirts of mine plus they didn't speak English so I gave up.

The calligram of you on the side looks beautiful. Did you get the original yet? I'm hoping it's not crumpled.Your such a source of inspiration to me Curtise! Keep on doing what you're doing.

You are the image of domestic divinity, darling - cooking! baking! making beds! You are splendid and inspirational!

I don't iron, bake or garden... I cook the same three meals every night. I vacuum/sweep occasionally (when I can no longer bear to walk around barefoot) and change the linen when I remember... who cares!

Love your outfit - and I agree that dancing in the kitchen is an absolute MUST! LOOOVE! Sarah xxx

You are a goddesses, a general goddess! The best kind.You do what is necessary and.important, and that means having fun in between the thankless and soul-destroying chores which come with looking after other people and pets day in day out.

You can just tell.you're family is happy and the children are well cared for. Too much control freakery cleanliness makes for a dull woman and frustrated kids. My theory is; nobody ever died wishing they had spent more time cleaning....but shopping and posing? And eating cheese? And making friends?

Firstly - I'm soooooo excited about the Hobbit!! And secondly I also prefer cake mixture to the finished product, same goes for biscuit dough. I love your domestic goddess look, the red petticoat is divine, but mostly I want to come round and eat all your cheeses!! Where are they from? And the soup is making me hungry! Xxxx

I had to come back and read this a second time, Curtise, as it's priceless and charmingly phrased as always. I think you are in fact a Domestic Goddess, whipping up that lovely cake in your cheeky skirt and petticoat! Hope the B-day celebrations were a blast.

P.S. Thank you for your thoughtful comment on my post a few weeks ago. :) xoxo

Actually, when I read your first paragraph, I became very still and sad, because I thought I knew you, but you had reached domestic heights I could never aspire to.

Whew. So glad you let the cat lick the bowls. I'll never forget the first time my very correct grandmother saw one of us let a dog lick the last of the milk out of a cereal bowl. She didn't want to eat of mom's dishes ever again, even though we argued they were sterilized in the dishwasher.

WHAT!! You've shattered my image of you. I have lost faith in all humanity now!Yeah, I only clean enough to avoid the spread of disease so I can relate. You have 3 kids and pets, so you're still a domestic goddess in my book if you can manage to keep them all alive. (Not so sure I'd have any luck in caring for kids. Pets I can handle.)Thanks for your comments regarding my blog. I had the sense that it was user unfriendly, but maybe it's not? I could see you in that 1970s-doing-1940s vintage dress I just bought. The vegan Yorkshire pudding I had was pretty good. Light on the inside and crisp on the outside as you said it should be.

Oh your posts are so fun Curtise. This one is great, how about you Betty Crocker as we say in the states. Love so many things about this post. Cake, new pot, devil horns with matching outfit, your sassy ways, cats and your glass cabinets. Oh and humor. About dickies, a men's work pant. The brand is called Dickies. Also yes my sister and I have talked. I think that it was because of her that my mom doesn't talk to me. Its so screwed up. I'm just trying to keep my distance for now. Thank you so much for asking, you are a really good blogger friend. Have a great weekend. Dawn suitcase vignettes

I love how you take something totally with no interest and make it into a brilliant blog post.Domesticity slowly but steadily kills our creative forces ...unless we blog and make fun of it.My best wishes for your son.

A red hot outfit and you have red hot taste buds too it seems...wasabi and chili! I remember the first time I tasted wasabi...I thought it was avacado. I was quite surprised. Adorable post. Happy Birthday "Seldom Seen".

I think you're having way more fun than I did when my kids were that age! They will always remember their mum in the garden, being herself. Who cares about flawless dusting and perfect cakes? Fact is, they'll remember a funny, loving mum who made delicious comical cakes, and took them hiking.

After reading the first paragraphs of your post I was ready to marry you!!!! Your outfit is magnifique, I particularly like the addition of the red horns.I fully support your use of hairy dishlickers, and the resultant cake is superb. Finally--Happy Birthday to your son. Hope he has a wonderful time. :)

I'm convinced that you are the MOST splendid example of wonky wench deliciousness! I want to frolic with you in your domestic bliss, swapping stories of half arsed housework and hygenic inspector cats!!! O, and look fabularse, of course!You can keep the stilton, though....Love your gorgeousness!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oh yes, domestic drudgery is rather boring. Although, I do love to cook and bake as long as I don't have to clean up the mess. You look good in a pinny. I'm pretty sure I've said it before but that cardigan is fabulous.

I have to agree with you about house work being boring i have a little routein i stick to every day and it takes me just over an hour to complete it i think the tip to an orderly and clean house is a little bit every day and then its play time :-) Happy birthday to Owen his cake looked yummy im the same as you though the best part is licking out the bowl ;-) Your looking just as yummy as ever love your red blouse. Loved that vintage pot you bought to that pattern is fab and just makes you want to dance. Have a great week sweetie, dee xxx

You bloomin' well are a domestic goddess Curtise and I can't imagine why you haven't got a book coming out in time for Christmas! Love the dancing in the kitchen tip and could I just add that cooking with wine is a good plan too (alhough not at breakfast time obviously... hic!) We're all looking forward to Hobbitses too. Vicky x

Being an excellent housekeeper is overrated - you are definitely having way more fun making wonky cakes (it looks very yummy!) flashing your frills and dancing in the kitchen and I applaud you for it! I hope that Seldom Seen had a great birthday.

Ooh I missed this one, you definitely are a domestic goddess Curtise, home made cake, home made soup and all done while being devilishly stylish, you could show Nigella a thing or two. I kind of left Pat holding the fort all day Saturday and I'm kind of happy to say the house was an utter tip when I got back, I was a bit worried Pat would have managed brilliantly then he'd be wondering why I don't. It's good to let everyone see this place may be a mess most of the time but I am keeping it just about afloat. xx

Wow, that cake looked good. I am one for licking the bowl too :-) what a heroine, doing chores (please, just the bare minimum, I hope), baking, entertaining kiddlies and STILL having time to entertain the blogsphere.

there is nothing that can match the charm of the homemade, well-adorned cake. Nothing. Love your domestic goddess look by the way, and I have to agree with you: housework nearly kills me. Every damn time.

Goddes of domesticity, hmm let me see, come over and do *my* hoovering and we'll see! Goddess of the cheese, DEFINTIELY!! Because wasabi gouda? Seriously? Get OUT, that is too awesome, I want it!!But most of all you're goddess of the comedy, you always make me laugh.xx.

I'm a firm believer in domestic sluttery and I know such a goddess when I see one:)). Petticoat glory and apron delight and bloody hell I LOVE oven chips! It's all so wonderful! Kitty of Kitty's Vintage Kitsch came over the other day to drop off our gramaphone player and I was in me knickers, stacking shoe boxes in the lounge with the house looking perfectly appalling. Bless her. Dancing in the kitchen is compulsory and look at that damn fine soup and cheese feast with puss pretending to be disinterested in licking the Stilton;) xoxo