RIMSHOT! Gardner’s Humor Lights Up Campaign Trail

Feb 9, 2016

The national media gives scant attention to presidential surrogate speakers who travel on behalf of candidates to cover as much ground as possible before the presidential primaries, so they missed this gem by U.S. Sen. Cory Gardner stumping for Rubio.

“I introduce myself most of the time by saying, ‘Hi, I’m Cory Gardner from the great state of Colorado, home of the Rocky Mountains — and Hillary Clinton’s private email server,” he told an audience at a restaurant in South Carolina recently, adding that perhaps that’s what his state is known for.

“You know, they’re trying to move Guantanamo Bay detainees to Colorado where we have a Supermax prison, and I said, ‘You know what, with what’s happening I don’t want to keep them in Supermax, because we need to make room for Hillary.’”

No word on whether the breakfast crowd laughed up their biscuits and gravy, but we certainly made a mess of our computer screen when we spewed coffee all over it, and now the home office reeks of Irish whiskey.

Given that South Carolina is also on Obama’s short list of locations to ship Gitmo detainees, we’re guessing Gardner’s the south’s new favorite outsider.

Gardner has a reputation for being a serious lawmaker with a wicked sense of humor, and what this campaign season needs right now is a little levity. Actually, what it needs is for Gardner to run for president.