The barbecue night was an overwhelming success. Everyone who attended definitely had great fun basking in my glory. I did enjoy the well-deserved praise and adoration, as well.

Pay no heed to the disappearance of several members. I assure you that they never existed in the first place.

The Adoration Point measuring robots have gathered so much data that they can now better determine the Adoration Points of members. They can now even measure the Adoration Points of non-members!

Non-members whose Adoration Points are found to be sufficient enough will be extended an invitation to the fan club. Joining the club is expected of you. Refusals will not be accepted.

Barbecue night is today.

Adoration Point measuring robots are hard at work measuring the Adoration Points of members.

Not having high enough Adoration Points may deny you entry to the barbecue night.

Today when I woke up I had an epiphany. I realized that some of the most brilliant people in the world still don't have legitimate fan clubs. This means that some of the most brilliant, amazingly awesome people don't get the praise and adoration they deserve.

Incidentally, I am one of those people.

So, to address the problem, I've decided to establish my own fan club.

A lot of people who want to sound intelligent say stuff like "love yourself, and you will learn to love others", so I don't think this is weird in any way. I'm probably my biggest fan. I love myself. If I were asked to describe my relationship with myself, I'd probably say that it's something like "a dude who really likes jerking off". The bigger meaning behind that simple sentence is often overlooked. While a lot of people think that it's just a crude statement about a dude who really likes jerking one out, I think of it as something bigger. Me, a heterosexual male, am willing to eschew my own sexual preferences and make constant love to myself, who happens to be male(!). This is quite possibly the biggest form of love ever witnessed, and because of it, I should be the president of my own fan club.

As a community, the obviously enormous amount of people that are going to join my fan club, will hold monthly meetings at my house. During those meetings, people will bask in the light of my incandescent light bulbs and my glory. If you are willing to attend these monthly sessions, you must agree to praise me nonstop and to bask in my glory when I play osu!

You can consider thelewa's fan club operational from this day (29.10.2014) onwards. What follows is the recruitment of people for the very important jobs of "Praise Conductor", "Basking Instructor" and "Adoration Officer" whatever I can think of. Please post in this thread if you are in any way interested in helping my fans praise me or bask in my glory more efficiently.

List of members:

thelewa (that's me!)skyllzhogo (Archbishop of a Cult Assimilated)Tarix (Adoration Officer)Gragas (Supreme Supreme Director of Visual Praise)Brian OA (Supreme Director of Visual Praise)Demon (Prolific Artist of Visual Praise)[Kano Shuuya] (Grandmaster of Photoshop Glorification)TheNekoNextDoor (Specialist of Visual Praise)Please (Secretary of Complimentary Defense)Noobsicle (Chairman of the Beautification Committee)Darth_InvadeHer (Commander of the lewangelist Crusade)felicitousname (Supervisor of the Literary Division)smudgerox (Chief Engineer of Edible Praise)Vexy (Spokesman of the Sweet-talking Committee)Sonatora (Writer of Gospel)Matu (Artisan of Physical Adoration)Static Noise Bird (Apprentice of Physical Adoration)Akali (Elite Mapper)Worthlessx3 (Leader of the Choir)theLiminator (Head of Costly Adoration)Trehorna123 (Missionary)Harumi (Missionary)Justin- (Preacher of my Glory)Nikkumi (Adoring Masseuse)HaiK (Speaker of Glorious Facts)Maxorq (Maker of the Adoration Point Measuring Robots)Orteiga (Head of the Department of Ask.fm Study)NightPhoenix (Plan Supervisor for the Space Praise Program)laatikko2 (Collector of my Glorious Relics)Celizavia (Member of the Tsundere Adoration Brigade)ManiakkuChan (Full-time Member of the German Adoration Section)Arufrog (Dispenser of Doughnuty Praise)Ephemeral (Honorary Piece of Shit)IppE (Basking Instructor)[ RemoveKebab ] (Responsible for our sustenance during the barbecue night)SamuiABCDNpSunAthrun_YamatoRewben2DuskuserTupsua55b0mbB1rdSoulgLunarFoxSHEPRtyzenTrehorna123persianFaaynePacolitoCptBlackBirdDozy VanSuzuneIhazVadroneGhostFrogKuiTatchpondokersIcharaTheBurningFoxRailgyunklonoaHanzeRdeetzUkodAusBoxRuri-JugmentXenou19120113121308Makan1SlySlyJMCUgmouhuorcSyrasuLerqJimzzyyyHolyNightmareaxsepsilondarkstar738FujibayashiKunDatPenguinThoCapuce Smsuperhero6xElectroGHlolbobdippidyMaarteyyCrumb (Ascended to a higher plane of existence due to basking in my glory so much)Girl Gamer Inc (Habitual Adorer of Little Girls)Blueson (Possible future rival due to dangerous ambitions)pooptartsonas (Likely future rival due to dangerous ambitions)Mindfang (Suspiciously low amount of Adoration Points)RemmyX25 (Adoration Points at zero. No entry to the club at any cost.)Hika (Her commitment to the club was simply not enough and as such she has been barred entry.)

I will also be grading members through the use of Adoration Points. These points are determined by how much you adore me. The actual algorithm for calculating AP (Adoration Points) will be kept secret to discourage farming. I want the ranking to be as fair as can be, so that I will know who my most adoring fans are.

Praise. Adore. Bask in my glory.

Last edited by thelewaNovember 1, 2014 at 3:07:52 PM GMT, edited 72 times in total.

How can I be an adoration officer if Lewa hates me so much that he ignored me every where possible?I am a bit sad but happy that Lewa gave me this title, meet you at the swimming pool, will bring hot dogs with me!

You are the best thelewa I have ever met and you are a very good-looking young man.

Praise thelewa, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion. -thelewaism 23:9