Sweetie…..(1st Bit.)

I think maybe I might have loved you.

Not the love that leads to marriage, or to running away from a house in the hills and all the trimmings for the back of a skip and kisses that stink of White Ace. Just an affection. When you first walked into the room I saw the strees and pain of your life pushing your shoulders down, curling your arms around your belly in protection. Your eyes darted around the pub, seeking for someone to tell you that you were in trouble.

You broke my heart in that moment. I wanted to buy you a cup of tea, put a blanket around you and hug you and tell you ,just for a little while, you were going to be okay. The bad person couldn’t hurt you for a while.

You explained about THEM. How they’d locked you away, that you had no keys to your own house. They didn’t like your life, they thought you would cheat on them if you were free to run and to roam. How silly of them. How STUPID, you cried, like you were breaking through, you smashed your fists on the table. You sniffed, you wiped your eyes and blew your nose. Then we hugged.

Soon we started chatting online, you built your confidence up, soon you were sneaking things out of their flat. WE got drunk one night, you lead them out of the flat while I keyed ‘CUNT!’ into the side of their car, and finally you were single…..