a journey

Is this really worth it? Yeah. It is.

*sorry (#sorrynotsorry) for the language.

Friend: ​Is [your sense of touch] even half of what you want?
Me: No. I’ve got a long way to go before I reach that point. I can’t train whenever I want, can’t drive, can’t cook, can’t write, I’m half blind, can’t feel touch, can’t speak like I used to, forget how to read, forget how to speak, randomly forget half my life, can’t always recognize people I’ve known for years, can’t ride my bike, can’t play music or make art and I freaking went to school for music and art, can’t go anywhere without telling someone where I’m going in case I forget where I am or what I was doing, can’t hold a job because I’d likely forget to go to work, etc.
Me: But I’m studying neuroanatomy anyway, practicing art and music, learning how to write, learning math and languages I’ve forgotten… It’s just going to take a while to be able to do those things again, but it’ll be so freaking worth it. Getting to learn how to do things that you used to love to do – not everyone gets to learn to do those things twice. So, we’re the lucky ones.
…

Friend: I’m not afraid of cars. I’m not going to sit still over a car. Isolation is my biggest fear
Me: I hate the isolation. I live in one of the biggest cities in the country but end up going for days, weeks without seeing a ‘friend’. Isolation fucking sucks ass. Sometimes I wish I’d get hit [by one of those cars] but then remember I’ve died before and it fucking sucked, so I stay alivefor people like Adam and Andrea and Heather and Christy and John and Guy and you. It’s worth it.

Real friends – people are worth it. ‘People are precious, and sometimes we forget that. …they need friends, they need love. …love everybody, even the little and dumb and fat and ugly and weird, and, well, if we all lived like that, then maybe terrible things like we’ve just seen wouldn’t happen… and I guess that’s it.’