I dont' think that having sex with the person is the only determination of whether or not the individuals involved are compatible.

I'd be more concerned with things like how the other perceives sex as part of the whole relationship (and/or philosophically in general), how often the person wants to have sex ideally (or, an indication of whether your sex drives match up), whether, when, and how many children a person may want and how that might impact the individual's sex life, as well as the level of commitment between partners that each partner needs to have in order to feel comfortable delving into the details of a sexual relationship all indicate "sexual compatibility."

For me, the physical aspects are really learned and designed between the two individuals over time. People who care for and about each other seek to please each other -- and as such will work to learn the sexual language and practices that creates the pleasurable, unifying experience of sex for both parties.

Thus, that can't be determined in a short time over having sex a few times to 'try things out' or determine compatibility. If there is sexual attraction, a good foundation of relationship, and a similar outlook in terms of sex. . .then there is compatibility. The physical can be co-created over time, adapted, etc.

As such, I dont' think it's necessarily a requirement that a person should have sex before the commitment level that creates comfort and safety for both individuals (which, btw, if htere is that pressure demonstrates *incompatibility* sexually) in order to define or determine compatibility.

Good point, and I'll clarify my statement. Of course compatibility is vital in the perception of sex/role of sex each person wants it to play. In the post you quoted, I was talking about sexual compatibility in the act itself. Ever been with someone who's just bad in bed? That's what I meant I'd want to avoid: Committing to monogamy with someone only to find out that they're hopelessly and helplessly just plain bad at sex. Moving the wrong parts at the wrong rhythm along the wrong plane of motion and grossly blind to the lack of connection between the two of you on the matter.

Moving the wrong parts at the wrong rhythm along the wrong plane of motion and grossly blind to the lack of connection between the two of you on the matter.

hilarious. i just pictured two people trying to move an enormous couch up 3 flights of a narrow, twisty stairway and not being on the same page at all. "lift here, while i push here. now lower your end and turn it towards me..."

hilarious. i just pictured two people trying to move an enormous couch up 3 flights of a narrow, twisty stairway and not being on the same page at all. "lift here, while i push here. now lower your end and turn it towards me..."

You know, I bet the same people are bad at both sex and moving furniture.

We might be on to something: If you want to know if someone's going to be good in bed, ask them to help you move one.