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I'm the Mom in our situation and I've been telling my son to pretend I'm dead for the past few months because someday, hopefully not too soon, I will be! When that time comes he won't have me on call, will have to deal with everything on his own. Please tell your Mom that you need to be able to outlive her, as awful as that might sound!

You ou might do well to find a roommate. My son is living alone and the only HUD housing that's opened up has been for a minimum of two people. He's living in a place (independently, with caregivers coming and going) that we own, but I would rest easier if he had a roomie.

Why do you only do bowel care every 4 days? Going longer than 3 days is highly correlated with long term problems such as obstructive megacolon. Why does it take 3-4 hours? Are you doing bowel care in bed or up on a toilet or commode? What does your actual bowel care consist of (suppository, dig stim, etc. etc.). Ideally bowel care should not take more than 45-60 minutes total, start to finish.
(KLD)

Yes, do take better care of your bowels. There must be a manual somewhere that gives the awful advice that paralyzed people don't need to have bowel movements but every 3, 4, or even 5 days, because that's what the Director of Nursing smugly told me at my last nursing home when I went to his office begging for Bowel help. Your young body was probably very efficient, but as your metabolism slows down, those retained toxins will give you trouble.

Regarding loosing your Medicaide if you work...look into that for the State where you live. The site for Texas says:
"The Texas Medicaid thresholds for 2016 are as follows: an individual can have up to $2,199 per month in income and $2,000 in assets. The state permits applicants to not include the value of their home or primary vehicle."

That's for not loosing Medicaid. However, there must be a threshold at which you would loose your attendant coverage and would have to pay for that yourself. So, there is definitely a lot to find out before taking a paying job.