7.31.2014

This Is Forty

As much as I've claimed to be 'ZOMG! Freaking out!' about turning 40, I'm really not that freaked out. I've only had a day at this age, so maybe I'll have my midlife crisis in December or something. I did have a moment when I got a card that included an 'over the hill' reference. Really? But I recovered. I can't help but reflect on my last big decade birthday at 30 when I sort of DID freak out. Mostly because, at that time, I worried more about external, superficial things. (Well, and we were going through a huge life change - leaving Chicago for Seattle just weeks after that birthday.)

The big road trip, ten years ago - we look like baaaaaabies.

I was caught up in the endless questions of "What are you doing for your big 3-0!?" Being slightly less mature at the time, I figured it had to be EPIC! At the time I didn't think a really nice dinner out with my husband was that epic. It WAS, I just didn't appreciate it at the time. He took me to Tiffany & Co. on Michigan Avenue to pick out a piece of jewelry. We walked through Streeterville and had wine and tapas appetizers at an adorable restaurant in the neighborhood. It was all capped off when we walked over to Navy Pier for a big steak dinner (a chateaubriand, complete with a bottle of Opus One - thanks mom!) at a restaurant with a perfect view of Venetian Night fireworks. Not a bad little birthday, right? I was all stressed about it and ended up having the BEST NIGHT. My husband and I talk and laugh about that night to this day. That's pretty epic.Soooo, the questions are bubbling again, and now Facebook exists wherein I see pictures of many of my contemporaries going on EPIC trips for their big 4-0, some even Couples Retreat style! And right now, yes, I would really love to spend some time alone with my husband in Mexico. Not gonna lie. But, we have a four month old puppy at home,

OH HAI! I'm a pretty nice addition to my mommy's 40th year.

we just refinanced our house (which involved paying off one of our loans and, of course, closing costs), I'm already leaving the kids for five days in August to go to Bend, etc. etc. Are these excuses? On some level, I suppose. But, I'm pretty confident we will get on that vacation sometime soon, and I'm just really happy with life right now. I really love this old post from Zoot and the point that she makes about fulfillment being individual.

My kids are pretty awesome right now (for the most part...), and my whole family is happy and healthy. No kids ended up at Children's this year while I was at Ragnar, and my husband has taken up biking and is loving it. My mom is cancer free, we had a little scare a few weeks ago - right when she was planning a trip here, which was cancelled of course! Whomp. But she's doing great now and I think that's a pretty darn good present. I've been injury free and had some of the most amazing running experiences this year...

All I feel right now is gratitude. Maybe my age has given me a little perspective. I adore the song "Be Okay" by Oh Honey. It drives home this point simply but effectively:

Fresh cut grass, one cold beer.

Thank the Lord I am here and now, here and now.

Summer dress, favorite park.

Bless your soul, we are here and now, here and now.

I'm wide awake, so what's the point of dreaming when your life is great?

Celebrate the feeling, celebrate the feeling.

Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay.

Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh.

Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay.

Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh.

We're screaming out, I believe we'll be okay.

Sun kissed skin on my lips.

Thank the Lord I am here and now, here and now.

Fireflies after dark.

Bless your soul, we are here and now, here and now.

I'm wide awake, so what's the point of dreaming when your life is great?

Celebrate the feeling, celebrate the feeling.

Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay.

Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh.

Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay.

Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh.

We're screaming out, I believe we'll be okay.

We'll be okay.

We'll be okay.

These beachy days definitely make me hum this song.

Nope, can't complain about much these days. Well, I'm kind of DONE with the kids constant summertime bickering... But, that's it. I think? I do tend to worry, so if you give me something to worry about - I will. But, little worries aside, I'm enjoying this time in my life, I feel like I'm just coasting, enjoying the ride.This is forty.

Happy birthday! You make 40 look pretty great, especially that last photo, it's a really good one of you.I'm getting ready to hit 30 in a couple months and I just home my husband does something (anything) to celebrate it. I'd totally take a night out to pick out some jewelry and a nice dinner Fingers crossed! :)