Seeking Synergy

Day Old Hate

So if you can’t already tell by my massive amount of writing lately. I have been in a funk. A bit more heartbreak for me I guess before 2015 ends. Please understand that this is not about complaining, resentment, or anger. This is about learning and understanding. I seem to write and create from this place of sadness alot more than I’d like to. I am working on changing that, but for now it is what it is. I am a very in touch with my awareness human being, which I truly believes frightens some people. Hell it frightens me. I find little signs everywhere I look. Many times good, many times bad. I was recently driving with someone when they asked me to shut this song off because “it was very depressing”. I guess i must have shut it off quite a bit myself too because i had never really heard the words until last night while driving to work. When I did, I thought, “oh my god this is exactly how I feel right now.” All I ever want for anyone who harbors anger for their past is healing, I just don’t know how that ever comes if you don’t forgive yourself, and those who have hurt you. My mind just does not have the capacity to wrap around how that happens I guess… If anyone can explain that to me I would be forever grateful. This cost me someone I truly cared for, and I would like to learn from my obvious misgivings…

“Day Old Hate”

Dallas Greene – City and Color

So let’s face it this was never what you wanted
But I know it’s fun to pretend
Now blank stares and empty threats
Are all I have, they’re all I have.So drown me and if you can
Or we could just have conversation.
And I fall, I fall, I falter
But I’ll find you before I drift away

Now you still speak of day old hate
Though your whole world has gone up into flames
And isn’t it great to find that you’re really worth nothing
And how safe it is to feel safe.

So drown me and if you can
Or we could just have conversation.
And I fall, I fall, I falter
But I’ll find you before I drift away

The things we do just to stay alive
The things we do just to stay alive
The things we do just to stay alive
The things we do just to keep ourselves alive.