Hi! I am Jill -- single mother of 3; divorced twice; sister; daughter; yoga instructor; small business owner; spiritual seeker; ridiculously fallible human; founder of Uttara Yoga Studio in Roanoke, Virginia. I offer advice for life and living using the ancient tools and techniques of yoga.
Yoga is a science for solving human problems. I do not purport to have all the answers, but there are techniques that have literally saved me, and I would be honored to share.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Question: Where were you mentally and spiritually when you were 20 years old?

Question:

Where
were you mentally and spiritually when you were 20 years old? Did you have any
idea that you would become a yoga instructor? What were your goals, fears, and
interests?

Response:

Well now; that’s a bit of
a story.

Me at 20 years of age; I was living with a man
14 years my senior; engaged to be married (and we did marry soon after my 21stbirthday).My life was pretty intense.I was
working as a legal secretary at a huge law firm in a big city far from my
family; leaving my expensive but tiny apartment at 6:50 am to catch the 7:10 am
train to work; working from 9 to 5 (and getting as much overtime as possible)
and returning home around 7:00 pm each night.On a good day.

This man I was in love
with was not a very nice person.He
talked a good game and I fell in love with his idea of who he was and what he
could potentially be.The reality was he
was an irresponsible bully, but I never saw that until years later.He often quit or was fired from jobs; so I
worked a lot of overtime to support us; that and his habit of taking our credit
card and buying whatever he desired.

Weekends and my rare free
time were filled with bicycle and motorcycle rides; learning how to cook; and trips to a muscle-head
gym for free-weight lifting.I also read
a lot – he introduced me to Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance; Carlos Castaneda; Robert Heinlein.

I’m pretty sure I never
heard of yoga.I do recall a fellow
secretary telling me once that the computer problems at the office were due to
Mercury Retrograde.I found
that line hysterically funny and for many years made fun of that reference.If you know my current dedication to
astrology you will find that little karmic payback amusing.

Must say I didn’t have
much time to think about God or spirituality; at least not that I
remember.Survival was my first task;
making enough money to pay the bills, cook, clean and try to appease my lover
so that he wouldn’t go off into his frequent rages.

Little did I know that
this period was my soul’s karmic plan; as hard as it was it prepared me for
what has come.When an abused woman speaks, I can hear her.When a person relates the
experience of being down to their last five bucks, yes, me too. The hamster
wheel of a full-time job with no space other than to keep your nose to that
grindstone; of being far from family and feeling incredibly alone even in a relationship; yep, I get
it.I also learned how hard
work pays off; that good people always meet other good people -- people who will look after you and
offer you safe harbor. I learned that you are only imprisoned by your own mind and
actions.I learned that if I want
something bad enough, I can make it
work.I’m just a lot more wise about
where I allot that fierce determination.I learned how to reinvent myself, and I’ve had to do that over and over
and over.

Be patient with yourself
on your journey; if you have found yoga at a young age you have tremendous positive
karma.Hold to the light; be true and
honest with yourself; and just like in a yoga pose, when you feel your life
tipping out of balance, gently bring things back to center.

Pay attention to what
people DO, not what they SAY.Observe
how they treat children, the elderly and animals.When you love someone, love who they are; not
their potential.Don’t be afraid to
work.Don’t be afraid of change.Be willing to help others but not willing to
be walked upon.Have strong
boundaries.Cultivate wisdom.Live a life with as few regrets as possible.