life in all its glory

inconsistency

by vivaciousdeb on July 22, 2014

I don’t know if this is just a guy thing or what…but…what is it with them being inconsistent?!? Do they think it’s okay to just disappear for a week or maybe two? There’s this guy I was texting…I haven’t heard from him in 8 days (I only know this from the time stamps on our texts). After a couple texts he has the NERVE to ask me for a picture. WHAT.THE.FUCK! I say “I haven’t heard from you in a week and then you ask for my picture?!” His response? “lol yes” WOW!! What in his mind makes that an okay thing to do?

There’s this other guy that I’ve been messaging back and forth on OkC and it’s been a little over a month. Of occasional messages that really have no meaning behind them. Just small talk “oh hows your day?” “it’s going well, just at work right now…” blah-di-blah.

I mean, why don’t these guys put some real effort in getting to know me?! I’m trying not to take it personally. I’m trying not to think “oh it must be me they don’t want to get to know” or “i’m not worthy enough for guys to get to know” but it’s getting really hard.

I know I have to be patient. The right guy will make the effort but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t suck in the meantime.

lol I don’t understand it either, but I feel like a lot of it has to do with the medium of texting. It’s very impersonal and casual, and there’s no real urgency to respond. At least when you physically speak to someone you normally don’t have to wait three hours or three days for an answer. But I suppose texting is simply a necessary evil in today’s world. It’s become the default form of communication these days.

I concur with TUV, though it didn’t happen to me as much, my younger male friends said it happened to them quite a lot.

It happened to me just once… you probably weren’t around, but I referred to her on my blog as Indiechick. We met on our second date in October… she had already been flaky between date one and date two. At the end of the meal I asked to see her again and she gave me a vague “I’ll let you know”. It was then three months before I heard from her again. By that time it was too late, I had already met Mirror Image and decided to focus my efforts on her. I did meet Indiechick again, but just to confirm what I already thought, that I had lost all interest.

There could be any number of reasons.
1. They’re not into you
2. They are into you but are checking out their other options (women are a nightmare for doing this while getting angry that they are not the sole object of a man’s interest)
3. They’re not emotionally ready

This happened to one of my friends, she was talking to this guy on Match.com and even went on two dates with him, but he kept flaking out on the third date/hang out and he would go four days up to a week without texting her. He said he’d always been a loner and even his family has been trying to break him out of the habit, but they’ve been talking pretty consistently the past few days. I know this is just one case, but it’s interesting because he did pull out all the normal excuses: it’s me, not you. I’m sorry if I’ve been ignoring you, I’ve been sick, blah blah. But he seems to be trying more now. And he did ask why she hadn’t reached out to him more, so maybe there is some give and take that he was expecting and was surprised when she didn’t try a much as he thought she would.