Friday, October 12, 2007

I've been getting calls, chats over msn, emails, sms-es and even face to face meet up on "so.. what have you been up to this week?". I thought i'll just direct em here.

I've accumulated so much junk these past years. In every aspect - my room, my wardrobe, my bookshelf, my physical body ( including bad habits )- spritual, emotion and mind.I thought it'll be a good time to reorganise myself. Just taking time off at home.

Reorganising...My priorities : I didn't know how much i missed my time with my family ( and my childhood ) until this week. This week, i get to have dinner every evening with them. Just sitting around the dining table, eating wholesome meals and just catching up with my dad and bro. (i've the whole day with mom and my 2 dogs). I know that i should treasure this time and everyday i have with my family. My family reminds me that truely through thick and thin, they will love me. Our family is one where we love through Quality Time and the Acts of Service. Funny how my parents and my younger-but-seem-older-brother is concerned about me not having money to use keeps trying to push money to me. Don't look at me, I've turned them down.And for the past few days, every morning I wake up to my mom asking me : "How are you feeling? Are you alright? You're not sad are you?". Then through her worried eyes, looks and me deeply trying to search my soul, gives me my breakfast, sits down and prays for me.My room : I've decided to look into my piling system and try to put some filing system into place. So now i've use my old name cards as tags ( isn't it great that the DDB cards are yellow at the back! it looks great as tags!). So I've got a mini office set in my room. One thing that I'm dragging my feet is looking into my finances and getting it organised! I should get to this soon. Painful!!

Looked into my wardrobe and lingerie drawer to throw out fashion disasters and holey moleys or clothes that have grown furry after the many washes.Now that I've half the wardrobe left.. I need to go shopping! But first i have to decide what kinda style I'm most comfortable with. It's a great feeling that as I've grown older - I'm more careful not to fall fashion victim to things that isn't a jessica koh. No short short skirts for my thunder thighs, no spagetthi straps especially the square shouldery type because it makes me look like 100kg Xena and all material has to be solid and give form.

I've also started a "Kids Fun Bag" where i put empty papers, my markers, stickers, exercise books, extra pencils and erasers and UPSR text books which i've bought. So that i can lug it around and be the clown to entertain the kids during Kids Zone and Thurs Tutoring.

Me : I was determine to do a detox system for a week until i had lunch with YL on day 3, my detox went out with the sarawak laksa i had ( aiye, i was going to blow it with a BKT lunch anyway ). But i went back to it after. One thing that I couldn't keep off is coffee. What I couldn't bring myself to do is to get on the treadmill to do some form of exercise. Well I try to make it up by taking winston out to poo poo and running around like a siow poh with july around the house.

Started to tinkle with the piano and the guitar. Pestering Chris about the bar chords on guitar and really regretting that I wasn't serious about my classes when i was younger. Heck i would have been a good guitarist ya know!

Most importantly, my journey with God for the last few months, i feel this is the verse for me during this season, which made me look deep into my life, looked back and perhaps form little visions in my head :God is able to do far more than we could ever dare to ask or even dream of infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires thoughts or hopes according to his power that is at work within us ( Eph 3 :20 )wow! Beyond all that I am, All that I can every ask or even desire.Well, it's not to say that during this week of going through very silent moments and being at home has been all bright and good. I have my fears - of the unknown future, I have my fears - of monetary needs, I have my fears that I'm missing out in life ( heck i should be travelling around the world ), i have my fears that i made a wrong choice...

I am learning my greatest lesson for this season, to"Be still and know that God is God" , not me.

It's a really hard lesson.Especially when I've been living in the "I WANT IT NOW!" life for so long.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Bible studies & cells are boring. Dreaded. Everyone has to be holy - commoly and damn power in prayer. Smiles, like we "understand" what each of us are going through.

At least that is what i was accustomed to when I was growing up. And even through Young Adults fellowship. The only time where i really enjoyed going for any of this activities is during my youth days. That too was because I get to hang out with my friends, go to the mamak after and play! But I must say, that was a bond that made our friendship last , until now. Although we are all in different parts of the world now, our youth days held us together.

I feel compel to write about this, as at this point in time, i am really grateful that i am part of a cell.

My journey of self discovery and journeying through this time of "what's next" would not have made it this far, without their constant support and prayers. Funny how we were strangers coming together, but we bonded quickly. There were no feelings of inhibition, no pretenses and no difficult bible study books (which doesn't mean a thing because there were no application after just a mumbo jumbo of words ), just simple applicable steps.

Finally,i know truly grasps the true worth of the bible of being life's manual. Now I know that there are actually things / people / events that God used to guide us on how to lead our lives.

I've always thought that they were just bible characters ( like fairy tales in a historical sense ), but now I learn that each character is chosen with a purpose and they just come alive. That each one were meant to give me a clearer direction in live by. Yesterday i learnt that God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things! Even downright to the midwives in Exodus ( so insignificant, only 1 verse mentioned their name ). But by fearing God, they did what was was right. They were bold & courageous, they were risk-takers ( in doing right they didn't fear man (and the pharoah ) but God ) by sparring the lives of the israelite babies. Their little actions of compassion & kindness impacted generations - the freedom of the israelites from Egypt.Most importantly, this time of searching for what's next in my life, i am glad for the heart of my cell leader - Adele who constantly cheers me by the side, on the baby steps that i'm taking in journeying with my heavenly Father!

I now look forward to Wednesday nights. Yeah, I traded Mambo Nights for Cell! But it's all worth it.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Day 2 of just hanging around and realising .. hm, this is what bumming around feels like. Waking up to nothingness, well i guess i gotto get use to this!Started on my detox programme for the week - gone vegetarian again! Flipped through the papers with my cuppa of coffee, listen to my mom chit chat with my aunt, pulled ticks out from my dogs, being online for most of the day, sent my phone to fix ( i broke the LCD screen whilst screaming and throwing my bag like a catapult because some people in the room screamed RAT!!), did up an ad to sell of the family holiday home in PD, called KB who has been missing in action for the longest time just to check if he's still alive and kicking, well so much for the day.

Something nice to share... yesterday during church i was thinking ( yes one of those flitting random thoughts again ) that I needed a printer. Since i'm out of a job now, and i would be needing it to print out resumes, application forms for school, work-sheets / games for the kids at the shelter home or for kids zone. But looking at my financial situation, i guess i better hang on to that for a bit.I got home about 8pm yesterday, and there it was sitting on my dining table ...a printer.The office kind. My dad told me, a friend asked if he needed printers - b/w and coloured printers as he was giving them away. So my dad decided to take the colour printer home! yay! Provision no.1 ... God is good!

Sunday, October 07, 2007

My tai-taidom farewell gift from the gang..it really means a lot to me!

I've been writing a fair bit about my journey in DDBI, especially so in the last few posts. More so, because it is quite difficult to walk out on a life that i've grown so accustomed to for the last 6 plus years. But i know, that my season there has ended, things are getting too comfortable ( although things in there are still chaotic!). The old has to go for a new season to begin.

Through the ups and downs, i will remember the people i've passed and journeyed with which i hope in a way i've impacted them in a good way as much as they have left a little of themselves in my life. Some people who are dear but i've not really talked about in my posts...

my boss and mentor Long, who have taught me not only about work but guided me through life's ups and downsrenay, my one and only AE who is now a super AM... she taught me how to be "cool & composed" and what it means to grit your teeth and press on no matter how difficult life is. Now that i'm "steady-lah" , i say our learning curve in getting the team up and soaring wasn't easy! But we did it.Uncle YT! I couldn't find a "single" picture with him from the lot. Wow, he's one person who's brain i can never fathom and the speed of coming up with presentations that make sense. I'm going to miss his Whipping!

And the lil one.. Hui Tsin, i didn't get a "single" picture with her too. We had loads of fun pictures outside... The only person who understood the whole journey well , together we graduated from Monash, got into the same job by accident, suffered under the same bosses.

Alex.. whoah i remembered the "hit the roof" arguments we had on projects ( and it was just only trainings ). But this young man has tenacity and brains , not to mention a great sense of humour when he warms up.

Zahir who - wetted panties.. this young man is really quite cutesy in his own ways, and he has grown up and decided to take flight away from DDBI in Nov.

Jessey & Alvin, my two hot babes who strives with me through the ups and downs and are still thriving! My lunch and dinner kakis and drivers and my drinking - babysitters!

Baby Cass who's now all grown up to be Mrs Tan. Well matured beyond her years, she taught me the true meaning of silent strength.

My girlies : joanna who i'll miss the wacky brainstorm sessions on brand foundations, ROI & comm plans.. ( oh, we thought it will never end.. the plans !) I'm going to miss her when she heads back to canada ( but that'll mean a place for me to stay! yahoo.. hahaha)

and ah - deh, who taught me sweet humility. The gentle dry humour and the kindness she has shown makes great acts of service ( thank you for your porridge !).

If anyone wants to learn ANALISM, ian tan will be the best person to train you on it. I would not have picked up all the SOPs if it wasn't for him...the long e-mails, chats and evaluations..

Remember this face for hugs, panadols, "aw poor baby" and chocolates.. mama jules is a great hideaway to go too..

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Monday, October 01, 2007

"you what? ( flabbergasted look )why?what are you going to do now?wah you very brave ah, quit with NO JOB ah..!??!! you don't know your plans yet?are you going into full time ministry?you mean you won't be working anymore ah?"

I've been getting these questions since i told people that i'll be leaving DDBI. I didn't panic at first. But after all the panicky questions from people, i'm beginning to ask myself if i've done the right thing. I guess the sense of security is really important, and the fear of the unknown paralysing. I understant now why people rather stay slaves to their jobs passionless than to discover their truest potential. One of the worry -warts is my mom. She has already started on her barrage of questions ( signs that she is worried, no...let me correct that, Freaking WORRIED!).

I'm still trying to piece together my next move. What I know is this:This is a season where my walk of faith will be exciting. I chose this road. To walk out to discover what brings joy and meaning to even my working life. The last couple of years I bought into the ideology of building brands. Only to realise that brands are dead. They hold no meaning, perhaps only to the owners of the brand.

I've been reading about the old testament characters and i am deeply encouraged by Moses, Abraham and Esther( cheh.. like my old friends like that ). I realise that all these time I've been like a little frog under the coconut shell. My vision has been so myopic. It was really about climbing the advertising ladder - AE to AAD, then maybe regional positions then i couldn't see beyond that.

Once I started to look upwards, God started to put wonderful & inspiring people in my life , my aunties, pastors, missionaries, friends,cell members etc to show me, He is a God of BIG PLANS. And it's not just promotions in a company but claiming Nations for Him and impacting lives of generations. Wow! I am awed.Just thought I share with you guys the little thoughts i have. I try to remind myself everyday, that when I walk in the will of God and remember that in all that I do, to remember his purpose first, He will guide me and propel me to heights that is far more than all that I could see or do.I'm scared but I'm also excited and looking forward to the challenging walk ahead whilst resting in His peace. I'm already thinking bout what i'll be doing during my transition.

2 projects which I hope to take it off the ground till end of the year :1. Tuition for kids in the shelter home ( i've shared with some of you, so call me if you want to volunteer as we need at least 10 more ). It's on Thursdays, 7-9pm.

2. Working on a project for the Malaysian Rare Disorder Society together with a friend to promote awareness and to raise funds through and art auction.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

It's funny how when you've resigned and you've come to the tail end of your notice, people ( bosses & collegues ) somehow think that you're invisible and yet you'll still have to do the work?

I wonder if this is a normal ? This is my first job, so I really don't know.

I wonder if it's me, or people just don't know how to deal with someone who will be leaving the job ?It's quite sad to say this but it is leaving a bitter taste in mouth the way things are being handled over here. Deadlines are still flying around, I'm expected to do the work yet there's no form of proper form of delegation of what do i do with it after. The feeling is , just do the work , don't ask. If we feel like it, we'll include you in, if not why don't you just blend into the wall or the carpet.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

I’m very careful that for my knife holding lesson today, I do not stab myself or lose my pinky altogether ( after the cut i was awarded for slaying the golden tortoise ). I learnt how to cut a pineapple today. I learnt it under the watchful eye of my dad, who is a pro with the knife. I learnt all my garlic and onion chopping skills from him. He is also extremely good with cutting fruits.

Doing documents, playing the piano, public speaking, organising things and implementing them, negotiating, using the computer – no problem. It’s really easy peasy. But doing housework, I guess I have a lot of head knowledge but not enough practical knowledge.Even downright to holding a knife properly , is at the moment a big challenge for me. The pineapple as you can guess is in the oddest mushiest shape possible. I think I should invest some money to get a few fruits and start mutilating them on my own as practice.Especially weird looking fruits with torns, skin & super ripe ones where it’ll turn to mush in my hands.

The knife holding lessons came about as I realised that before I even try to attempt to kill people with my cooking, I should learn the basics of :

Storing them to ensure freshness ( wah i sound so si lai – i think if i did an ad for fridges i’ll have good insights!)

So, I’ve embarked myself on a series of “watch” and try lessons from my mom. Saturday mornings at home is marketing day. So daddy will grocery shop while mom unpacks the veg, fruits, poultry, fishes, meat etc, clean them ( and i mean thoroughly clean them – scrubbed down, deboned & sanitised - to boiling them and removing the fats and dirty blood).

Those of you who’ve stepped into my house would know that there isn’t a hint of dust anyway, the walls are white and scrubbed clean, the kitchen always looks like it’s never been used ( though my mom had just cooked up a storm ), the porch is always clean etc.My mom is a clean freak, sanitation freak etc. Funnily,I’ve gotten none of her housekeeping excellence except to be “fussy” with my surroundings and not do the work myself , hah! So the thought of clumsy me trying a hand in her kitchen is quite a nightmare for her.

So far, i’ve gone through the lessons at a glance and a “try one fish, one fruit, one chicken at a time” before my parents takes whatever good looking produce there is and shoo me away for mutilating all their groceries.

I am one person that learns through experience and motions of doing it through practice. I guess i would need to find other avenues and opportunities to do this. So, anyone of you want to invite me over to your house to mutilate, i mean chop, cut, clean your groceries, call me!

Next on my list for learning, is how to handle a sewing machine and sewing. Good grief.

Friday, September 14, 2007

For those who've heard about the rumblings about the feng-sui elements that I was made to put in my room in the office... I found the3-tier Golden Tortoise and have moved my table back to a normal position ( instead of the tilted 45 degrees angle which i've been sitting in ). Is this rebellion now that I'm about to leave my job? No.

I feel it's freeing myself from a spiritual oppression that there is something above my head and weighing me down.Plus the weird tilted angle which i've been sitting in is making my life tilted too!

I climbed on a chair to reach the styrofoam like ceiling and lifted the panels. It took me a while to search for it. As i poke and sweep my hands around. When i finally found it, it came tumbling down, crashing together with the potted orchids and butterflies that was on my top cupboard ( luckily my wine glasses didn't break ).As i picked up this tortoise and prayed over it, i saw that there was a brown stain on my jeans. First thought that came to my mind was - is there ink markings on this? I checked the tortoise thoroughly and found none. Then as i arranged the orchids and the butterflies back in place, I thought - silly me, when did i spill chilli sauce on myself?As i sat down on my desk and lifted the tortoise to have a closer look, i noticed that there were red spots on my white tank top. Again, I thought "oh no, which red marker pen did i stain myself with... or is this from the orchids? but the orchids are purple " ( so yeah Nut, this is what i got myself into ).

As i was turning the tortoise around examining it, i saw red spots on my fingers, and blood oozing out non stop from the cuts on 2 fingers. Ew, that's where the stains came from. And it's really painful too. I must have cut myself whilst hanging on to the steel rods on the ceiling.

Oh well, I'll take it as battle scars against the tortoise!I've removed the tortoise from my room. I didn't know what to do with it, so I've left it at the binding machine area for all to appreciate it's beauty.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Ao Nang : love story unfoldingI finally had the time to sit down to share some bits about my Krabi trip and recover from my post holiday blues. From the day I returned from Krabi, the blues stayed with me, as i go through days of crankiness from Wed till today. Don't ask me why. I don't know. I'm a woman.

But as i write and post the pictures one by one, my thoughts are turned back to the expectancies I had for the holiday. I had hope that God would somehow make His vision clearer in my life ( the horizons are still fuzzy ), and that I would continue to walk closer with Him and learn to rest in Him. Were my expectancies met?

Yes.

I was rested. Very well rested - which is why i think i have problems bringing my physical & mental being back to KL.After days of belly bloating ( from too much singha beer & spicy tom yum ) and recovering from bits of sun burn ( it's not too bad, i'm just allergic to the tanning oil and too much sun ), i'm missing my tom yum, pad thai, too much beer and lazing in the beach doing nothing.

I learnt that through the scariest moments in my life, and the times when i feel I am most alone & the odds were against me, I am able to call out to Him and be rescued.

He is a creative God. Who on earth could think of all the "macam-macam" islands except Him?The highlights of the holiday were...Total indulgence : food, drinks, daily massages by the beach...The food in Ao Nang isn't cheap. We paid an average of RM25 - 30 on food every meal. That's for 4 dishes and beer. So expect to fork out your bits if Thai food is a priority. The restaurants that we went to had good Thai food (except for lunch on day 1), so parting with the money wasn't that painful. Beer is about RM3 a can of Singha and about RM12 (L) a bottle in the restaurants. And Lays potato chips yummily cheap!

Walk down to the end of Ao Nang beach and you'll discover rows of massage huts. You'll get really good body massage & free flow of pineapples & bananas. This lady Jin ( hut no.12 ) offered us services for RM15 - 1hour10minutes massage. Other places would offer about RM20 for 1 hour.

Free room upgradeThe place we stayed at Phra Nang Inn, was a little cosy inn - no frills. The best bits was the standard room in which we booked for, had utilities that started failing. The tap on the shower couldn't be turned off and then the toilet started flooding.So at 11.30pm we had to drag our luggages to a deluxe room. Praise God for giving us a wonderful comfy room for the holiday!

New facesI got to meet new people.Torge ( german ), Cindy, Joyce, Jean-nin & Desiree ( Singaporeans ) and for the first time in my life, people from Kazakhstan ( camelia and i forgot the other lady's name).God answers, even when I did silly thingsI met Torge & the Singaporean girls when i took a little adventure out to Krabi town on my own.From the day that i arrived in Ao Nang, I've always wanted to jump onto the bus, just to experience riding in it. So one evening, I decided to hop onto a bus on my own at 5.30pm because JC & Al wanted to bask in the sun and do their own stuff. I got tired of walking around Ao Nang beach ( there's only so much shops that i could see and so much money that i can spend ).The ride from Ao Nang to Krabi Town took about 30 minutes. The bus zipped through trunk roads ( like going through the little towns from Tapah to Ipoh ). I had the company of Torge who's studying Geology in Bristol telling me about his adventures around Thailand and the effects of the Tsunami area on the beaches. Also, luckily for him I got directions around Krabi town and a free guided tour through the streets and night market.I had hop on the bus, not having a clue on where i was headed to and without a map ( i mean how teruk can Krabi town be? ).

It was only 7pm, but it was pretty dark ( Malaysia is 1 hour ahead ). So i said my good bye to Torge, and decided to hop onto the bus to head back to Ao Nang. I dreaded the long ride back through the trunk roads ( as we were passing by plantations & ulu kampungs ) and the thought of sitting on the bus alone doesn't seem so fun now.

I waited in the bus for 10 minutes and wondered why isn't it moving. I checked with the bus driver and he said: As long as there weren't any body, we won't be going anywhere. Unless, I could pay him RM30 to take the bus back to Ao Nang. He told me to wait for another 40 minutes, perhaps someone will come along. If not, the bus ride would be at 10pm.

I've never felt so helpless in a long time. I got out of the bus, pretty cheesed off. I had already texted JC & Al that i'll be heading to Ao Nang and they would be waiting for me for dinner. If i were to tell them now that " i 'm stuck in town alone by myself", this i dread their reaction! This isn't an option.

So I stood in the midst of thai speaking bus drivers talking to me in Thai, and i had a headful of horrid thoughts. ( I think Malaysia's crime rates have really instilled a lot of silly thoughts in me ). I decided, maybe i should walk around for another 40 minutes. It'll be alright. I headed down the road and realised that everything was closing and the streets started to look like a quiet Kota Raya area at midnight. I had offers to ride back to Ao Nang on motorcycle for 150Baht ( no way!) That's when i decided to turn around back to the bus station and prayed REALLY REALLY REALLY LONG & HARD.

I can't pen the feelings down. A little of me berating myself for taking the silly ride, a little of me saying - God will keep me safe, a little of me angry at broken promises ( how can the bus drivers not take me back to Ao Nang when it says ride - every 10 minutes) etc.

My saving grace. 1 hour later, God sent a gentle thai man ( reminded me of sean chen ) on board the bus. He became my translator amidst the thai drivers. I'm thinking - i don't think he'll harm me. Then, as if to assure me that I will be really safe, He sent 4 Singaporean girls who got onto the bus to ride back with me. And those girls, i had managed to catch a glimpse of their faces when we were paying for our massage the day before.

They said that they had intended to ride back earlier, but got delayed. That's why they are riding back with me now. Wow, such a wonderful God.

Some bits that i missed but wouldn't mind doing :1. Mel the kayak manWe found him in the restaurant on our last night out. By day he's Mel the Kayak man who'll bring you around to his village Bhor Thor. A kayak trip through a village on stills in the mangroves and through the lime stone caves. I thought if i had another day to spare, i would definitely do the trip.

2. Rock climbing classesHead down to Railley island. That's where the nice beach is and the rock climbing classes are. The beach in Ao Nang isn't good. It is during the island hopping that you get to get on the nice beaches.

Some bits that i thought was pretty interesting :1. There's a Tesco in little Krabi!2. Krabi is about 50% muslim population. And from the landscapes ( plantation of rubber, palm oil & the limestone mountains ) you would think that you are in Malaysia ( or in Ipoh). Some parts looked like Malaysia.3. The monthly food allowance for Jin ( the massage lady's family ) is RM30. They buy their groceries from the market. The family eats out only about 3 times a year - for birthdays or new year.4. Well the statistic of Mel the Kayak man & a police man cum taxi driver, can't qualify as all.. but i would say , most hold 2 jobs. We discovered that our cab driver to the airport was also a police. He drives the cab in the morning till afternoon and then does his patroling in the afternoon. He hangs his uniform and his gun at the front of the cab.5. Penis gods. Not for Mojo orTongkat Ali effects but for prosperity in business and power. If you peer into the alters at the shops, you will see a wooden penis on the offering plate.The legend of Princess Cave in Railley Island. Told by Ah Tu ( our island hopping guide ).Where a fisherman and his wife pleaded for a baby with the Dragon God. Their wish will be granted with the condition - if the child is a baby girl, they would have to sacrifice her to the Dragon God's son as a wife. No prizes for guessing that the baby was a girl and she grew up falling in love with another fisherman.The Dragon God was angry and started a war with the fishermen. The war had many casualties, and so a Hermit Monk interferred and turned warring tribes into islands ( including chicken island ).

This is the princess caves. Before the fishermen go to sea, they'll come to this cave to pray for a good catch and safety. And if you have been childless, couples praying to the Princess, you will be granted a child. For every child granted, the parents will return to the cave with a penis as offerings.

I'm getting lazy posting pictures and writing.. for more pictures, head over to my facebook.

International organisations that you can write to:wspa@wspausa.comInfo@peta.orginfo@dogsdeservebetter.orgwspa@wspa.org.ukwspa@wspa.org.auwspa@wspa.cacontact@gan.cainfo@bluecross.org.ukafa@afa-online.orgpress@api4animals.orginfo@ari-online.orginfo@rightsforanimals.orginfo@speakcampaigns.org

Understand that dogs are not merely animals. To many, they are a part of the family, a companion and guiding light.

Losing Midnight was traumatic experience for our family. The pain will always be embedded in our hearts.What's more, to think of the many hundreds of howling poochies being torn away from homes or captured to be inhumanely slaughtered.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Allybelly will be seconded to London in Sept. Sigh.Another one of my girlies going away.

I met Ally in uni and we've been girlies ever since. We attribute our strong friendship to me being a Pisces and her being Cancerian. And we are the only girls in the group who wants to get married and breed!! ( Leanne - don't tsk tsk ).

Through "kap chai-ing" in uni, being housemates in melbourne, beef lovers, i think she and me share about the same amount of EMO-ness, silliness and being tai tau har! So that's why she understands my life's drama.

I'm going to miss allybelly. Who's going to feel sympathetic and "aw" me when i manage to pull some stupid stunts? So mission number 1 is to get allybelly hooked up on msn, learn how to use *ahem* techonology - webcam for starters.. so we can telecon chat with the rest of the girlies.

hello leanney, diana & HT..from the dim sum sums in KL

The only thing that i'm really excited about is the Free accomodation in London and if i do get myself there, Ally's planned out a 2 hour train ride to Paris for coffee. Now, i'm going to pray hard that i'll make it to London, just for the coffee weekend.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

The world must be in dire need of love. This chihuahua pup bears the mark of a love starved world. A love starved world for more luck, more money.

TOKYO (Reuters Life!) - A chihuahua puppy has become Japan's latest heart-throb after he was born with a heart-shaped mark on his coat. The dog, named "Heart-kun", was born on May 18 at a pet store in northern Odate.Shop owner Emiko Sakurada, who bred over 1,000 puppies, believes his unusual markings have brought her luck."Since Heart-kun was born, not only I, but also many people who see him are getting luckier," Sakurada said.The dog became a celebrity after a local television station aired pictures of him. Since then, Sakurada has been flooded with calls from people wanting to buy him, which she has turned down."It may sound strange but since I saw him, my luck has been picking up. I won the lottery and won a concert ticket. That must have been thanks to the power of Heart-kun," said Sakurada's sister, Maki Matsuyama. Japan is a dog-loving nation. Earlier this year, an old dogs' home and a gym dedicated to exercising canines opened for business. i'm a true romantic at heart.It's so sad that man can make everything into a "luck - money making" opportunity.I've not read about this "heart" reminding us about love for humanity, for the poor, the oppressed, the children... etc?

I'm no Mother Theresa ( i think she exemplified the greatest leadership traits in the world with her big big heart ), and i'm not lovely most of the time but i like to think that "heart-kun" was born to remind us of a bigger Love story. A reminder for us to have a humane heart - then, we won't greed or seek for that lucky - money charm.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Everything on earth has its own time and its own season - Ecclesiastes 3:1

When 2007 hit me, i knew in my gut that I'll be entering into a new season in my life. The end of 2006 I had already embarked on a lot of soul searching. A lot of me felt like I was floating i through life aimlessly. My heart was restless, my mind, wandering.

Quarter life crisis is no joke ( my boss tells me it's "crisis at the summit"). It took a deep dent in my life and I was slowing rotting to my core. Whilst i searched and in my confusion called out to God - "Where are you? What is going on? Am I losing my mind?". Many of my friends would have heard me asking them - "do you think i need to see a psychiatrist? i think i'm a little mad".

Funnily, as random as my thought are, new paths begin to open for me. Books, people, circumstances, situations, emotions, timing - everyday, little by little strange and wonderful things started to clear the moss that had formed around my eyes the years of me rolling and tumbling.

I'll be leaving my job in mid Oct.

A life that i've gotten so accustomed to for the last 6.5 years. The journey which taught me so much about the hard knocks of life - the triumphs & downfalls, pride & arrogance vs humility, aggresiveness to submission, the "now" vs patience in time, visionary vs being narrow minded, different folks different folks = different relationship dynamics, the ugliness of human nature and people lying and deceiving without an ounce of guilt, but I also take heart that there are also people who thrived above it all.

"You resigned without a job?" , "What? Are you out of your mind?", " You better reconsider your decision".

The road before me is long. Honestly, at this moment the direction is still a little fuzzy. But i am assured that when God has already began His good work within me, He will continue to help me grow in His grace until His task within me is finally finished on that day when Jesus returns.

As a symbolism for myself and as a daily reminder that I have made my choice - that the new has come and the old is gone, i've decided to chop off my hair. Not a biggie for many, but for me, i have to wake up each day and try to tame my unruly hair into a presentable bob! That means a conscious effort on my part.

For all the other lovely lovely fruits of eden who has also been rumbling and tumbling with me ( including mommy, daddy, jo-boy, aunty yvonne & angie) ... Su Fei, Chris, Mark, Kit, Dorah, Jamie, Gin, Michelle, Yuez & Nut and all who have in their own ways polished, nurtured and prayed for this fruit to enter a new season of sweetness, thank you.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

When we were in our teens and through university, Su Fei and I would go into hyper coo & drool mode over pictures from Anne Geddes's gallery. The cutesy pictures of babies in animal suits or as little flowers will melt any harden hearts. We would buy the cards as christmas gift tags, birthday cards and as encouragement cards to be sent to each other. Especially so when we were studying apart - she in australia and me here.

Now, if i'm already coo-cooing and drooling over Anne Geddes, this little angel definitely sent my heart into a hyperdrive of warm fuzzy feeling. The feeling is also surreal, because the picture i'm looking at is not just of any baby but she actually popped out from my very good friend!

About Me

The adventures and misadventures of a Teo-chew fruit that fell from the garden of Eden.
Rolling and tumbling along life's seasonal changes. Sometimes sweet, sometimes sour, sometimes pickeled & salty and sometimes a little bitter.
This fruit will continue to tumble and roll through life's journey until one day she enters into a season of maturity & ripening.
Until then... please be patient, God is not finished with me yet.