Spent too many years wandering through the wilderness of infertilty. Lost 7 babies, lost my hope, lost too much. Spent some time grieving and trying to figure stuff out. Still grieving, still figuring. Trying to tell this story. My story. Well, my new story.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

At work...working on child death reports. It's a good subject for me, it turns out. (probably more about that some time).

Anyway, just heard an interview with Annie Lennox who 'came out' as having lost a child. It was powerful. Crazy in a way isn't it? We know how uncommonly common it is. She took the opportunity to point that fact out. How many women have experienced that pain.

Thanks, Annie.

To all who celebrate Christmas, I wish you many blessings, joy and happiness.

To all who celebrate the New Year: much more of the same and peace and health.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Here is definitely not stuck in the land of infertility any more. I guess technically, as it turns out, I was never actually infertile. But certainly childless. That hasn't changed. Here, for now, is where I am after 7 pregnancies and 7 lost babies. Here is where I am slowly figuring out my story. Slowly telling it.

Where was I?
I was in the trenches. Actually, the truth is, after miscarriage # 6, I threw in the towel, down for the count, beaten to a pulp - pick an image that works. My blog accidentally self-destructed right around the same time I did. The weight of infertility and the desperate sadness of losing another heartbeat, another baby all forced me to take one giant step back. Maybe two or three. And I didn't even ask 'Mama may I'? Hell, I just did it. I know you get it. I think I kind of get it now. But here I am. Back. Sort of. Like a river, you can't dip yourself in the same place twice, right? So I'm back in the blog-o-sphere but it's all different. The blogs are. You are. And I know I am.

About Me

Spent too many years wandering through the wilderness of infertilty. Lost 7 babies, lost my hope, lost too much. Spent some time grieving and trying to figure stuff out. Still grieving, still figuring. Trying to tell this story. My story. Well, my new story.