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24 June 2016

I used the Hemingway App to proof this piece for passive voice and clarity. Great tool now that Microsoft removed their passive voice feature from Word 2016.

The Mudslide

I was sick last year with the flu. I ran a fever which I can’t tell you how high because I’d given up on looking for a thermometer. I slept on the sofa the evening my fever broke, and I dreamed something frightening. I experienced a mudslide.

This was no ordinary mudslide like the countless ones you might see on the evening news. It did not contain debris like collapsed houses, uprooted trees and power lines. It was smooth and dark, like a giant Tootsie roll. Don’t laugh, because that’s not what I would call frightening.

It all started while I was at some resort, by myself. It was a couples resort and I was there alone and something did not feel right. The ambiance was off. The aftermath of a disaster appeared before me and it was calm, like the eye of a storm. Everybody stood around and looked relieved as if they’d just escaped death!

People smiled at me, their eyes lit up as if giving thanks for my presence. And then this man motioned for me to climb out of this pit. He lifted the net which covered the opening of the pit. I reached for his hand and tried to climb out, but my shoe lace got tangled up in the net. At this point, the net came alive and climbed up my leg to snatch me away.

Terrifying screams sprang from all directions as the man pulled me from the pit. He grabbed a knife from a sleeve on his hip and sliced the net away from my laces. With a violent hiss, the pit sucked the net in like a vacuum cleaner consuming a hair ball.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think of this piece and if you believe the Hemingway App would be useful to you. Try it here.

I won't show you the original, it was horrendous. :) I changed my mind. Look at the photo just above.

That picture above was taken at this place called "I forget." No, literally, I forget where we were. If my sister or Terri reads this post and reminds me, I will update the text and tell you where this was taken.

What man would get duped into being in this photo?
Let me introduce from left to right: Charles Harding (my boyfriend),
Mike Tradewell (my brother-in-law), and Stan Claunch (friend's husband).

They didn't realize we were going to insist on going inside later in the evening. Don't worry, I got video. I will share it at the end of this post. DO NOT scroll down to see it! You must finish reading this post.

Why do it? Because we can!

My dessert was beer, but just look at that! The folks at Emiril's NOLA Restaurant know how to present food, there's no question about it.

Charles and I at NOLA Restaurant in New Orleans

And later that evening...

There were no honeys hustling during the day.

There we were. Hanging in the streets. The night life hadn't started yet. You know, the drinking, the naked women, the con artists wanting your money.

One naked lady, breasts painted red, white, and blue, approached and asked us if we wanted to take a picture with her. I thought her motive was money so I simply stated, "No thanks." She looked heart-broken. But, damn. We'd already gotten conned into paying $40.00 for two hats we'll never wear, and a book I'll never read.

Waiting on the show to start!

Remember "the real drag queen sign" at the beginning of this post? Yeah, that's where this photo was taken later that evening. I told you we would insist. Doesn't Charles look excited to be there?

Another touristy photo
under the Bourbon Street sign.

The people in the street started early the next day. We got our beads but didn't have to expose ourselves for them. How nice of you, sir. Here, I have $3.00 left. Spend it wisely!

Two people being silly in New Orleans!

I'm not sure why it was so much fun sneaking photos of ourselves holding up masks. I think it was because the store owners weren't really aware of the things going on or they've just become immune to folks disregarding their signs. It felt like stealing. Recall Breakfast at Tiffany's with George Peppard and Audrey Hepburn when they steal masks?

Okay, so enough of that.

Yes, I ate shrimp and grits!

I never have been a fan of grits, even cheese grits. But, for some reason, I don't know if it's because we were in New Orleans or what, but this tiny bowl of shrimp and grits was amazing! If you have a chance to visit Cafe Fleur De Lis, this is what you need to order.

We are Anonymous. We will find you and expose the truth.
But first, I need another beer.

I'm with Anonymous. Hilary Clinton, your lies will be exposed. Seriously though, that was one freaky mask, but I liked it.

He's like some fallen angel or something. Maybe a premonition
of what was to come that evening? Who knows...

There are so many props to find while hanging out on Bourbon Street. You never know what's right around the corner.

Like maybe a demon or two?

It was so much fun just hanging out in New Orleans over the weekend. Every night seemed to be another party and everyone wants to hang out and take photos with everyone else. It's a very hospitable place out on the streets.

This dude let me pose on his bicycle. It is not motorized,
so I'm not really incriminating myself here.
See the pedal?

That was my weekend trip a few weeks ago. I'm much rested and ready to get back to work and hit the books. What have you been up to Blogosphere?

04 June 2016

This is progress because Uber replaces a service (the commercial
taxi), which has monopolized travel and, in essence, has impacted
entertainment and tourism for so many years. I'm going to eventually share my
NOLA vacation, but first I need to share an experience with the Uber
phenomenon.

I understand that Uber isn't everywhere, so when we arrived
in New Orleans and settled down, being that I'd experienced NOLA four short
years prior, I made an executive decision. Uber would be our mode of
transportation the duration of our stay. There existed the perfect scenario:
the meeting of three couples arriving in three different cars, each wanting to
spend time together in the great city of New Orleans, and possibly engaging in
the consumption of alcoholic beverages.

I gave consideration to the current state of the economy and
called on a local taxi service. They were booked and it would take 45 minutes
to get a ride, but then, they'd have to send two cars to pick up six people.
The cost estimate? A whopping $50.00.

Screw that! Ridiculous, right?

So, I contacted Uber, requesting an extra large vehicle to fit all six in my party. My driver arrived
in less than eight minutes. That's not the amazing part. I was able to track his progress toward my destination, including every turn he made and every mile he reached. What, what?! The cost at
peak time? Check it out in the photo.

I'm not saying you should use Uber as a means of putting the finger to the current state of affairs in transportation
services, but rather, consider it if you really want to get moving and
don't want to put up with the bullshit of being shafted by commercial tourism. Trust me, if taxi
cab drivers had their own vehicles, they'd be jumping on the Uber bandwagon.

Trust that my group and I witnessed a few middle fingers expressing the
International language of love by taxi cab drivers as we entered Uber vehicles.
Was this their way of telling us that they disliked our choice of service? Will
Uber be the end of commercial services? Is this a formula of people taking care
of people?

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