| 18 | Lucid | Wandering |

247: 2.40 am

I have come to the despondent realisation that it wasn’t a fictive term that I’ve been throwing about this whole time – I have built walls so high even I cannot climb over them. It’s been a while. What’s behind that high wall? A lot of emotion. A little sixteen year old sweetheart told me she had a lot of love to give, and no one to receive it. So she built a wall to protect it.

It is easy to break a wall though. Just use a wrecking ball, someone said. Sorry, I’ve tried that. This isn’t some ordinary brick wall. It’s made of something far stronger. I don’t know if I can break it. I mean, I should be able to. I am the one who built the wall. But now I want to tear it down. Unleash the emotion hiding behind that wall. One day I will meet someone and I will want to shower them with the affection I was never given.

I would like to think that I am trying. That I am able to give love to people.Well, more specifically, men who…

~ Serendipitous

Sorry the subconscious wasn’t working anymore and I won’t remember this on the morning, I have a life to get back to