Materials writing conversations #1: Pork

This is a completely imaginary conversation. No characters in the convo are based on real people – I’m just bored and imagining conversations I might have with editors…

Editor: I think your ideas for the ‘British food’ lesson are great. The listening works well. It’s just…

Me: Just…

Editor: …you mention a fried breakfast. I probably wouldn’t.

Me: Why? Oh… wait. The sausages, right?

Editor: Yeah. And the bacon…

Me: Right.

Editor: …and the black pudding.

Me: Okay… Can’t we just say sausages and bacon, but not mention they are pork? I mean, you can get chicken sausages, turkey bacon… there are veggie or vegan substitutes for both too. I’ve had them.

Editor: Any good?

Me: No, they were rubbish. Well, tell a lie, some veggie sausages are okay.

Editor: Okay. Well, to be fair, I think we’ll be hard-pressed to find a good image of a British fry-up with veggie sausages in it.

Me: Okay… Let’s just forget the fry-up. I mean, don’t most coursebook materials promote an aspirational lifestyle anyway? I imagine a Full English leading to a heart-attack is far from aspirational. Why don’t I replace it with some kind of hipster meal, like smashed avocado and poached eggs?

Editor: Because that’s only a staple in Dalston and Shoreditch. There’s got to be something more representative of ‘British breakfast food’ than that…

Me: Alright. What about some Coco Pops? That’s what I eat and I’m British.