Something has been brewing over the past 18-24 months. I have been speaking with a small handful of female friends who work in the healing arts, such as myself. A call to the feminine energy. Indescribable. A yearning to emerge…that’s the best way I can describe it. This is not a sexual thing, mind you, this is an expression of that which is feminine—creative, loving, sensual, nurturing, healing. Even men possess feminine traits. Men need women, women need men, in respectable, complementary ways.

As a society, we have been pushing the feminine energy down for so long, devaluing it. Again—not a man/woman thing. I’m talking the traits of woman. Along with what I mentioned above, also things like patience. Kindness. Protection. Courage. Inner strength. We mustn't abandon the masculine to develop the feminine. Oh, by golly, no. We need the masculine to be feminine. We need the feminine to be masculine. We need both. This is not an either/or scenario, whatsoever...

Then it began to permeate the music. Female listeners, no matter where I performed, were commenting on the artists and songs and everything about what I was doing. Many male listeners were also responding in a positive way-- some of the stronger or more dominant of the men had their fair share of things to say, a few comments, not so favorable. I sat patiently and took all of the feedback in. Like a good analyst, I processed the data. What was the overriding message here?

I went back to the 90s, when my first official rock band formed with me as the only singer. A band of men and me. The explosion of all of the female artists back then made it easy to select songs to play and sing outside of the songs I was writing. And these women were writing songs that weren’t about being victimized in love. They had intelligent stories to tell about the world, love, sexuality, all of it. How refreshing this was as a vocalist and writer to express something other than “ooh, baby baby”. It was a vibrant time with many opportunities. And I, we, have only moved forward, and deeper.

Alanis wrote: “These precious illusions in my head did not let me down when I was a kid.” She speaks of letting go of her youth on the path of becoming a woman. And how hard it is—for the illusions are like “childhood friends”.

Madonna sang, “Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone” in Like a Prayer. Yet years before that Carole King wrote, “You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am, I’ll come running. To see you again.” As a young woman I, we, all had fantasies that the friend would physically appear, however, as I mature I realize what she is saying is that our lifelong friends are forever in our hearts. And by simply calling out their name we make that connection, within. We close our eyes, meditate, breathe, and smile…’cause that energy forever lives inside of us. Our male friends and our female friends. Family.

It’s both. We are alone and together. If we wish to become an individual and whole, one must get comfortable spending time alone. And then we can bring that whole version of ourselves into every friendship, work relationship, love relationship…healthier, wiser, interdependent. Some of my favorite relationships are not with people like me, they are with people who are strong enough in their sense of self to allow me to be me. And I, of course, offer the same freedom in return…

The woman in me, the man in me—the Yin, the Yang, the masculine, the feminine…these are the things that make me Whole. I am not 25, 30, 35, 40, 45…I am a woman. Gone is the Mother and the Lover-- The Queen archetype has emerged. And over the past 18-24 months I have had to let all of those precious illusions go. There isn’t much discussion about one’s life after 50, and so I plan to be a voice box for the depth that these years are already offering. And also a pair of eyes and a heart for my younger friends, to help them make sense of those years, too. Trust me, I remember. And you are not alone. My heart swells from the front, back and sides of my chest cavity for it yearns to share. May your day be bright. May it offer you what you need. Without harm. To yourself, others, or the Planet.

Looking forward to sharing life and positive energy through song with many of you this spring and summer. Thank you, always, for your support and this connection!

]]>http://jannaaudey.com/news.html#68Fri, 12 May 2017 00:00:00 -0700 - Janna Audey - BlogLet the Music Playhttp://jannaaudey.com/news.html#66
It has been a long time since I’ve written a blog. Goodness, close to 18 months. Life has gotten busier, and I’ve been writing new music, plus performing out a lot more. I’ve also been thoroughly enjoying listening to other friends and musicians make music, sitting in the audience, which is the main inspiration for this latest blog. The importance of being in the chairs, at the tables, and the significant and collaborative role the audiences (YOU!) play in each performance…

Almost two years ago (thanks to Facebook) I reconnected with about 80% of the musicians from my past. Most of you know me from playing with Rob and our various bands, however before Rob I was in four other bands. I thought it a bit interesting to have everyone reappear all at once, and knew this was a special time. Between thumbs-up’s, likes, and scanning the Newsfeed, I actually got to see many of the musicians in person. Holy Flashback!

The bass player from my third band, Jerry, posted that he was playing in Old Town Alexandria on July 11, 2014. Hey—that was my birthday, and I told my husband I knew what I wanted to do that night. We enjoyed a lovely dinner at Il Porto, and walked up the street to the 219. I was completely blown away by his new band, Mudlark. You just don’t hear live rock and roll from the 60s-70s-80s played the way they play it much anymore. Really. I mean this.

Seeing Jerry sparked old memories, of how “before Rob” I would often go out to listen to bands by myself and with friends. Any given night I could head into the city and hear live jazz, R&B, or rock and roll. Sadly, all of the rooms I used to go to are no more. The demand for live music is not what it once was. All things change. Life is different these days. We’re all different these days. Except for the heart/soul. Yeah, that part doesn’t change. It only gets better.

A couple months later, I headed back to the 219 to hear Jerry’s band. I sat in the corner and observed. Of course, I met people sitting close by, and we talked about life, and shared in the magic and mood of the evening. This is what live music does—it connects people. I also started listening to local acoustic artists, and witnessed the same joy through their audiences. Future nights at the 219, Strongbow's, Indigo Landing, Evening Star, and other rooms, unknowingly, were to become a mirror for me as a live performer. And the message was loud and clear: "Witness the impact from the audience. You must continue to make and share music. Period!"

It’s easy to get distracted on this journey…am I too old? Am I too this? Not enough that? There are no absolute truths, for good music will always have an audience. What I do is dramatically different from what Mudlark does, because our venues and audiences are different. Be true to yourself, in whatever you do. And what the audiences at the 219 were also telling me is that there is no age limit or expiration date for great music. That is the truth, plain and simple.

Whatever you are “great” at, the same holds true. Know this.

It’s been fascinating to go out at this stage of life and just talk to people without any hidden agenda. Back in the day, in our younger bodies, sexual advances were common. Now, though, we’re all married or simply interested in good old-fashioned socializing. It’s been my experience that everyone wants to connect through and with the music, and share stories. From Air Force pilots to lawyers, retired police officers, other musicians, accountants…you name it, I’ve met folks from various social, professional backgrounds. When live music is playing, those barriers do not exist. We are simply human beings, needing to slip into the space of joy and happiness for a few hours, so we can make it through the rest of our week, month, life…

So, from the bottom, the center, the top of my big, big heart…thank you all for your continued support. I’m going on 33 years performing live now. Thirty-three years! As long as my body and voice can continue to perform live, and trust me when I say I am doing my part to keep healthy, I am dedicated to connecting to you. We need each other. And, by golly, we’re in this, together.

Howdy, folks...and happy December! Thirty-one days left in this fabulous year...and I plan to make each of them count. :)

A little over seven years ago, I remember telling the CEO of the company I worked for that I was "getting off the train". He asked where I was going. My reply: "On the platform". A change was brewing inside of me, and I wasn't quite certain where I belonged professionally. I knew that in order to get my answers, I had to stop. He was gracious enough to give me the space I needed to discern my truth.

About two months ago I had the same vision, the memory of our then conversation. And then Natalie Merchant singing in my head, "See the signs and know their meaning." As a yogi, I have become accustomed to these internal cues and intuitions. I knew that something was brewing again, and so I have been sitting with quite a bit of internal discomfort, on the platform, all the while showing up for my obligations and doing my work, at home, on the yoga mat, behind the microphone, etc.

The life of a modern yogi is a beautiful, challenging journey. We consciously choose to release and re-emerge through the practice, through the shedding of the unhealthy ego, through healing, through postures, breath- all of it. The past seven years along this journey I have healed from cancer physically/emotionally, started a new vocation as a yoga teacher, unlearned untruths, relearned actual truths, became more of a homemaker, performed regionally as a solo artist, lost myself, found myself, the list goes on. It's been a dramatic chapter, one parallel to the hero's/heroine's journey. My coming on the platform has been necessary to see the magnitude, process the macro-lessons, and move forward into 2015 as this new integrated self. What I have learned is that, as a yogi, and in the quest of balance and moderation, there can be "too much of a good thing". Especially if the good thing is taking me away from other aspects of self of equal importance.

I am here to love-- aren't we all? We each have our own way of showing up in love. I have a husband, and a doggie-daughter, I sing, I teach yoga, have friends and extended family, oh, and yes-- I have to love myself, too. Don't misunderstand the messaging of the wisdom traditions-- yes, we must think of others, however, we also must think of ourselves, too. From the basics (food/shelter/health) to the more evolved (personal potential, consciousness), the journey of self-care must run a parallel path with that in service of others. And, yes, you will lose yourself for awhile. Fear not. You will be guided back on track just as I have been many times over. It's part of the journey.

I will be reducing my permanent/weekly yoga classes in half for 2015 so that I can have greater balance between the yoga and the music, care of others and self-care, space to be creative, time to be disciplined. Opportunities to develop students, opportunities to sub for other teachers, and also to teach teacher trainees. Life moves us forward. I choose to move forward into 2015 with a bit more awareness of what is sustainable at this stage of life. Mind/body/heart/spirit integration is a path of mindfulness. And living in this way is not easy, however, it is by far, the most rewarding path. It's about understanding what our personal state of enough is.

These are days...31 of them, to be exact. As Natalie Merchant reminds us, "Hear the signs and know they're speaking to you." Don't be afraid of your truth, for as we live with greater awareness, we are elevating and inspiring others to pay closer attention, too. And that is pretty cool, isn't it?

Until next time...

Howdy, folks...and happy December! Thirty-one days left in this fabulous year...and I plan to make each of them count. :)

A little over seven years ago, I remember telling the CEO of the company I worked for that I was "getting off the train". He asked where I was going. My reply: "On the platform". A change was brewing inside of me, and I wasn't quite certain where I belonged professionally. I knew that in order to get my answers, I had to stop. He was gracious enough to give me the space I needed to discern my truth.

About two months ago I had the same vision, the memory of our then conversation. And then Natalie Merchant singing in my head, "See the signs and know their meaning." As a yogi, I have become accustomed to these internal cues and intuitions. I knew that something was brewing again, and so I have been sitting with quite a bit of internal discomfort, on the platform, all the while showing up for my obligations and doing my work, at home, on the yoga mat, behind the microphone, etc.

The life of a modern yogi is a beautiful, challenging journey. We consciously choose to release and re-emerge through the practice, through the shedding of the unhealthy ego, through healing, through postures, meditation, breath- all of it. The past seven years along this journey I have healed from cancer physically/emotionally, started a new vocation as a yoga teacher, unlearned untruths, relearned actual truths, became more of a homemaker, performed regionally as a solo artist, lost myself, found myself, the list goes on. It's been a dramatic chapter, one parallel to the hero's/heroine's journey. My coming on the platform has been necessary to see the magnitude, process the macro-lessons, and move forward into 2015 as this new integrated self. What I have learned is that, as a yogi, and in the quest of balance and moderation, there can be "too much of a good thing". Especially if the good thing is taking me away from other aspects of self of equal importance.

I am here to love-- aren't we all? We each have our own way of showing up in love. I have a husband, and a doggie-daughter, I sing, I teach yoga, have friends and extended family, oh, and yes-- I have to love myself, too. Don't misunderstand the messaging of the wisdom traditions-- yes, we must think of others, however, we also must think of ourselves, too. From the basics (food/shelter/health) to the more evolved (personal potential, consciousness), the journey of self-care must run a parallel path with that in service of others. And, yes, you will lose yourself for awhile. Fear not. You will be guided back on track just as I have been many times over. It's part of the journey.

I am working toward sustainability as I enter 2015 so that I can have greater balance between the yoga and the music, care of others and self-care, space to be creative, time to be disciplined. New opportunities coming in that reflect where I need to be, shedding old patterns of taking on too much. It's quite an interesting phase of self-assessment here on the platform. Life moves us forward on all paths. Mind/body/heart/spirit integration is a path of mindfulness. And living in this way is not easy, however, it is by far, the most rewarding path I've been on. The most humbling aspect has been about understanding what my personal state of enough is.

These are days...31 of them, to be exact. As Natalie Merchant reminds us, "Hear the signs and know they're speaking to you." Don't be afraid of your truth, for as we live with greater awareness, we are elevating and inspiring others to pay closer attention, too. And that is pretty cool, isn't it?

Until next time...

]]>http://jannaaudey.com/news.html#65Mon, 01 Dec 2014 00:00:00 -0800 - Janna Audey - BlogIt's Been Such a Long Timehttp://jannaaudey.com/news.html#62
Good morning, and happy snowy, rainy, drizzly Saturday. It has been such a long time since I've sat down to write. I'm a bit shocked, actually, to see that it's been since last May. The thing is, I write daily-- I simply haven't been blogging. And, well, it feels good and right to sit down and connect to this familiar space, once again. The main intention behind this public forum is to share and inspire, with the hope that you will understand where you are a bit more, too.

There is something about this weekend that always seems to trigger the same issue with me. Before my breakthrough this morning I had the breakdown. Tears, uncertainty, anxiety...I stopped myself, and decided that instead of working through whatever "this" was in my journal, on the meditation cushion, or through my yoga practice, it was speed and iron calling my name. So, I got dressed, headed over to the gym, and began the self-discovery process on the elliptical, jogged on the treadmill for a couple miles, and then lifted weights. What was going on internally, unbeknownst to anyone around me, was a private boxing match with my fear. It went something like this:

Fear: "What are you doing with your life? You don't have enough ambition, money, xxxx, yyyy."

Me: "Okay, fear, um, in the past five years, I was focused on saving my life from cancer, leaving the 9-5 lifestyle and environment after 23 years, simultaneously starting a new career, and continuing my education. Oh-- and I was also becoming a loving and compassionate human being, the best wife I've ever been, and so many other things. So, what are you really trying to get me to see, fear?"

Fear: "Hmm...I see...well, it's tax season, and you always wrap-up your taxes this weekend, and I just wanted to point out that you aren't earning as much money as you once were. And in this culture, money equals power and success."

Me: "Yes, that is a fact, fear. I am not earning as much money, however, I am earning more this year than last year, and still loving my vocation as a yoga teacher. Also, my role in the home is much more demanding than it once was, as well as the commitment of sustaining overall wellness, and I am older, albeit, a happy, content, self-aware 47 year-old older. :) It takes work to be happy! However, there is some validity to what you are saying-- and as a woman who values interdependence as much as individuality, beauty as much as good health, connection to others as much as inner peace, and strength as much as self-awareness, I want to thank you for dropping in and reminding me of the parts of myself that I'm not quite ready to put to rest yet, and that I had forgotten about. Parts of myself that I had to put on the shelf while I was navigating my way through a couple big life changes."

Fear: "Cool. Let's register for a 5K this spring."

Me: "What a great idea! "

My fear was actually my friend. It became crazy-fear when I was trying to run away from it. It became tempered and real and valid when I faced it with courage. And, this is the thing with life-- we are growing and evolving, and yet we need space and time to acknowledge and assess, too. And, as we mature, we begin to realize that we have to let go of certain aspects of self to make progress in other areas. And then, hopefully, we become whole, again and again and again....

It's been such a long time since I wrote a blog, and it's been such a long time since I allowed myself to remember who I used to be. I've been so focused on pruning away the old parts of self, that I may have been a bit too ambitious in "letting go". By golly, there is a lot of who I used to be that I miss. And while I will never be 35, 40, or even 45 again, I choose to bring in those aspects of Janna-past here and now. And how I look forward to every song I have yet to learn and sing, every yoga class I have yet to teach and take, every dinner and intimate moment with Rob I have yet to enjoy and share, every book I've yet to read, every new pair of shoes I have yet to buy, every trip I've yet to take, every person I have yet to meet, every cup of coffee and deep conversation I have yet to share with my sister, friends, and myself, every family gathering I have yet to be a part of...the list goes on.

If it's been such a long time for you-- perhaps since you've bought a new pair of jeans, or read a good book, or cooked a new recipe-- whatever that something is that you miss-- may this blog inspire you to reclaim and reunite with all that you adore about yourself and your precious life.

Until next time...

]]>http://jannaaudey.com/news.html#62Sat, 15 Feb 2014 00:00:00 -0800 - Janna Audey - BlogHere's Where the Story Endshttp://jannaaudey.com/news.html#60
Good morning, and happy Thursday! I hope all is well with each of you, and that life continues to reveal your personal truth in the most magnificent ways...

Our band just had an amazing gig at Paradise Springs Winery last Friday night. I was extra excited (as was our drummer, Terry) and a few of our fans, because we pulled two tunes "out of the vault" from the early-90s period. One of them, Here's Where the Story Ends by The Sundays.

Music carries with it energy. I witness this during my solo shows so often. While I love performing and connecting to folks through my original material (especially when the lyrics hit-home with the audience), the moment I begin to play a cover that they recognize, I observe the listener being transported back to "somewhere" in their mind. A smile may wash over their face, eyes sometimes close, and often, lips sing along.

We were blessed with an audience of folks in our age-range, and they were so thankful for playing music from our generation. They even loved our originals, and mentioned "no one plays music like this anymore." It's as if the universe brought us all together, just as other musicians who play other styles of music witness in their own performances. This is the magic of music!

On the flip side, the more earthly/real elements, man...it was so hot on Friday, and unlike the early 1990s, I am now 46 years old (closer to 47) and have been going through menopause for about five years. There was a physical heaviness on the inside unfamiliar to the memory of my 28 year-old self. Ah, yes...it's because I'm not her anymore. :)

Another "earthly" reality is that there has been a gradual decrease in pay and opportunities for we seasoned musicians over the past few years-- the economy has hit many of the venues we play at, and things like live music are now considered a luxury item.

Things like Facebook-- heck, even email/internet...didn't exist back when we performed heavily...one had to Xerox flyers and hand them out to their friends at work, or call people directly. In hindsight, knowing what I know and having experienced what I experienced, I'm actually glad the visual aspect of today wasn't present when we were in our prime. Why? Because it's always been about the music to me, us...the pure talent that we were gifted with. The memories are still there, and I believe will always be there. "You had to be there" to know and understand what I am talking about.

And yet, paradoxically, I am so thankful to Facebook, email, Twitter...the technological conveniences of today's world for helping me remain connected to so many acquaintences and friends I've met along the way (30 years of adult living...that's a helluva lot of people). What a gift it is! Posting pics, witnessing the birth of their children, and being there to extend love and care throughout life's challenges. I love the gifts of today as much as I love the absence of them when I was younger.

I never quite understood that I was an introvert, although as I look back, I exhibited signs of introversion even "in my prime". It was somehow clouded or misunderstood as a hangover day, or artistic privacy. Becoming a yoga teacher and the entire path of self-awareness is when I began dissecting and deconstructing "Janna". And not merely accepting this part of me, but embracing it.

As a yoga teacher, I am able to guide/lead students toward their personal potential without cameras. It is in this space of privacy, for all of us, that we can find and nurture our authentic state of being. It's public and private at the same time.

The demand for yoga is on the rise, and more and more people are investing in their health. To watch life unfold over the past few years has been pretty amazing. We can't rush time...my personal mantra is "be here now". For "now" is impermanent. No regrets. :)

As a student and teacher, I find that I am most present and consistently content when I am clear and peaceful in mind, healthy and strong in body, and nurturing my heart and spirit in nature. Late night gigs, eating food that may not be the healthiest...well, I cannot do that too often. It takes the greater, more whole part of me way off track, and sometimes days to recover.

Hmmm...so, where am I going with all of this? Well, after much thought and consideration, after 30 years of performing semi-full-time/non-stop, this yogini has found herself at one of those proverbial forks-in-the-road. The winner? Yoga-teacher-Janna. It's where I have the greatest impact; purpose. To use my gifts. No worries--I'll still be singing, and we'll still be connecting at my favorite wineries, markets and cafes. In order to maintain my yogic life, I have to make a personal commitment to sing no more than 1-2x per month. And as an introvert, it's all I can handle, too. :) (Not all yoga teachers are introverts, so I need to include this important puzzle piece.)

I am utterly thankful to have had three decades worth of excitement, and to know each of you. So while this story ends, this next chapter is just beginning. How grateful I am to have been given so much time to perform live-- and during the chapter of my life when I could do it. The magic of music and the universe. :)

I encourage you to look in your internal rooms. Is there a past part of self that is taking up too much space, preventing you from emerging and growing and becoming the most expressive, loving, version of you? Go on...pull out that emotional splinter from yesterday. Yes, it's gonna hurt like hell. But I promise you, within a short time, you are going to feel light, real, and free.

Until next time...

]]>http://jannaaudey.com/news.html#60Thu, 23 May 2013 00:00:00 -0700 - Janna Audey - BlogMiddle of the Roadhttp://jannaaudey.com/news.html#59
Good morning, and happy Friday. My hope is that your 2013 is off to a beautiful start, and that no matter what life challenges you may be facing, you meet them face-to-face, with open heart, and the awareness that you are building some serious emotional and spiritual muscle. To quote Benjamin Franklin, "Those things that hurt, instruct."

I realize it has been awhile since I've been inspired to write. Life had been full of action from October through December, performing live, conducting lots of yoga workshops in the community, teaching regular classes, and nourishing the garden of our family life...love, connection, and reflection. When everyone else tends to wind-down and want to celebrate the end of the year, well, both sides of my work are in full-gear. It's something I've grown to love about this next chapter...serving people during a season that can be quite stressful if we overextend ourselves.

Simultaneous with loving my work I've also been contemplating the direction of my professional life. I’ve been working with one of my spiritual mentors and author, Rolf Gates, for one-on-one coaching. It’s been life-changing. Through our conversations, homework assignments, and independent self-inquiry, I spent several months stripping away and sanding my internal self, purifying, releasing old ideals and beliefs, gaining some serious professional self-respect, and now, moving forward into the next version, as a small business owner, a yoga teacher, a professional singer, and performer.

Not an easy time whatsoever, yet I knew it was essential, and found contentment through the challenge. I experienced many moments of what I call ego-crankiness. The ego part of our mind, if not ‘in check”, has this tendency to want to hold onto the past, to do and be everything it used to, neglecting to witness that time is ushering us forward. The soul and heart yearn to hold hands with the mind and say, "It's time to release. And it's okay. We’re in this together." The renegade ego will harshly turn away. We all know this experience, and even the most talented yogis in the world have had to wrestle with their untamed minds.

The good news is we also know what it feels like to gel, to be in harmony with all aspects of self. This is something that happens inside. Harmony is riding a bicycle. Lack of harmony is riding the bicycle and engaging the brakes at the same time. This very act of resistance is what causes the crankiness, and where most of us get stuck. It’s a lovely reminder that the forward movement is liberating...the struggle is rooted in the holding-on to what no longer is.

I have chosen to use Chrissie Hynde's Middle of the Road for today's blog title. I'm mildy amused, as she thought 33 was mid-life. Yowzah. Probably because she was already embarking on parenthood, and that makes sense. If I am honest with myself, I was feeling the effects of the aging process in my late 20s/early 30s...

Back to now...and here we are in January 2013. The holiday hangover has worn off, and it's a good time to pause in the middle of our road and assess. Sometimes we just hop on the next train before we think about where it may be going. Without taking into account everything else going on in our lives. As we age we must become more mindful. Self-awareness is the act of discerning where to put our time and energy. Where we put our time, when mindful, is in alignment with our values and interests.

On December 30th, I enjoyed an imaginary dance with my 28-year old self (a chapter that really extends from 26-33 years old). You see, letting go doesn't have to be sad. I really love(d) that version of myself. She was wild and carefree. Loving, giving, and outgoing. She drank blue shots and lots of beer. She was one of the guys, rockin' out at Jaxx and Nick's, Iota and Strangeway's, and bars that don't even exist anymore. She worked hard, and played hard. She was out listening to live music when she wasn't playing, to fusion jazz, R&B, and any number of Rob's other four bands. :) I simply choose not to hold onto her anymore. That version of me is long gone, as she should be. And her lingering memory had been taking up prime real estate inside of me!

When I was "28", I rocked the heck out of the phase, exploring and enjoying things I cannot write about here. :) And now I'm 46, and truly loving and honoring this stage of life, the maturity, the wisdom, the gifts, the inner peace, and with the vision and intention in living out the rest of my life with a light-hearted, yet focused, drive. Music and yoga have been sharing the stage for five years now-- it certainly makes for an interesting dynamic. Connecting the diversity to the greater whole.

May you be exactly who you are, where you are, and thankful for who you have been. And when it’s time to let go, smile on the inside, have your own imaginary dance, and set yourself free...

Until next time...

]]>http://jannaaudey.com/news.html#59Fri, 11 Jan 2013 00:00:00 -0800 - Janna Audey - BlogYou Are the Sun, I Am the Moonhttp://jannaaudey.com/news.html#58
Good morning, and happy Monday! Fall is here, and she is ushering in beauty, as well as change. I feel an internal shift, as well...do you? :)

In the quest for the whole self, one must be willing, always, to be open to hearing the intuitive voice within. It's in that space, deep within the core of who we are, where we feel *and* know what the next steps are. As we age, we find we must release to move forward, as new ways of thinking, or perhaps more tangible things, enter our precious lives.

In my life, there is the whole "Janna" that I strive for, and a whole "Rob and Janna and Mysti" that must, too, be maintained. The 30s were all about individuation, discovering who we were and what our unique talents are. We both left our jobs at different stages back then to stop and listen. Rob educated himself in IT; I began my songwriting and solo artist journey. As we entered our 40s, we have chosen to use our work and talents to support our collective whole; in essence, for a greater purpose. We are not living in the "I-zone" as much as we are the "We-zone". Certainly, we are still very much individuals, and yet our individual needs map to our relationship. And, also to the communities in which we work. The "We-zone" becomes even larger. And yet, it must start with "I".

The moment words like "greater purpose" come up, the western mind immediately thinks more money. Fame. I am here to tell you that this may be the case for some, and yet it also may not be the case. The key is to find that path that works in alignment to your whole.

Money is part of the whole, but it isn't the whole...you know this by now, right? :) Depending on your needs, your values, and the lifestyle you have found that is important to you, you will eventually figure out what you can do without and what you must have in order to sustain the whole of who you are. And that is very personal. Your parents won't have the answer to these questions, neither will your therapist, your priest, or your best friend. Yes, they may lead you to your well, however it is your own reflection that you must seek. And that truth lives only in you, and can only be seen through your eyes.

In Neil Diamond's song, Play Me, he writes: You are the sun, I am the moon, you are the words, I am the tune, play me. I listened to this song this morning, and my heart swelled, for I understand that love he is speaking of. During the work-week, Rob is the sun and I am the moon; during the weekends, I am the sun and he is the moon. We switch roles to balance our state of wholeness, and it has taken many, many fumbles and falls to get here. We also know where we are now is impermanent, and we'll adapt and flow with whatever changes life brings us in the future. Individually, and ultimately as a couple. We think of the future, yet live in the now...we are content.

It can be challenging having eastern values in a western world, and yet somehow we're making it work. We are allowing ourselves to be who we are, celebrating our friends' successes as though they are our own, and open to the birth/death/re-birth cycles that come each and every year. Sometimes, more than once. Life is expansive, yes...and life is also rich and deep. Layer after layer, if we are patient, we find that our truth lives in the center, the core, of who we are.

Faster is not the energy for this path, dear friends. Patience is.

My wish is that you are well, that you are listening, and that you find peace and love in your day. You are exactly where you need to be. And there is so much beauty already in you and around you. Until next time...

Rob, Mysti and I are just settling back into our home after a true summer vacation in the Outer Banks. Toes in the sand, daily yoga, Rob caught lots of yummy fish from the shore...we cooked together, relaxed together, ate out at the local restaurants...oh, and we celebrated my 46th birthday, too. :) Mainly, though, we turned off our gadgets for about 80% of the trip, relaxed our minds, and immersed ourselves in the things that fill our souls and bring us contentment, as a couple and individually, too. I've come back with a deeper appreciation for self-care...

I'm not quite sure the meaning behind Belly's song Feed the Tree-- to me, this phrase represents self...the stronger our roots, the higher we can climb. One must always feed their tree...come back down to earth. Ground. Root. Center. And then we can make our way back up the trunk and onto the branches. I suppose the roots symbolize self-care...the trunk and the branches represent how we show up in the world. Extend ourselves. Live with purpose.

As we age, we have more than one branch on our tree, aligned with our multiple interests, obligations, and values-- which means our time and energy management becomes more critical to the self-care and living with purpose paths. Most of us still cook and clean for ourselves, drive ourselves where we need to go, shop for ourselves, etc...my role models are not the celebrities on TV. My role models are successful people in this extended community who still take out the trash. :)

There is no handbook on what to feed your tree, how many times a week or how many hours to feed your tree...that is highly personal, and will flow with the changes of life, your health, whether you own your property or rent, your personality, and your familial obligations. It is all-too easy to forget to feed our trees-- and I do this self-discovery thing for a living. :)

What matters to you? What can you do *right now* to feed your tree? Go on...what are you waiting for? :)

Until next time...

]]>http://jannaaudey.com/news.html#57Mon, 23 Jul 2012 00:00:00 -0700 - Janna Audey - BlogI Can't Be Anyone But Mehttp://jannaaudey.com/news.html#56
Good morning, and happy Friday! I hope you are enjoying the month of May-- the abundance, the color, the cool nights, and the warmer days.

Springtime has always been my season. We all have a time of year where we feel stronger, wiser, more energetic...at least, this has been my observation. Oddly it is the season where some pretty big life "stuff" touched me personally...my father passed away 11 years ago at the end of April, and I was diagnosed with lymphoma four years ago and started treatment around the same time. Despite, or perhaps maybe because of, I feel more alive, more energized, and more aware of how precious our time on earth really is during this season. There is no time to "waste"...after all, time is life.

Around four years ago I stumbled upon a fabulous indie artist named Nerina Pallot. Her song, Idaho, really spoke to me, and continues to. The chorus goes: "'Cause I can't be anyone but me, anyone but me / And I can't keep dreaming that I'm free, dreaming that I'm free, / I don't want to fall asleep and watch my life from fifty feet, / My hands are on the wheel so I'm driving to Idaho."

Over the past four years, here is how this mantra has evolved for me: I can't be anyone but me. I won't be anyone but me. I do not want to be anyone but me. I love being me.

I've noticed significant changes in my personality, or perhaps I've simply begun to understand my personality better since becoming a yoga teacher. You see, yoga is a form of exercise that stretches and strenghtens the body and the mind, the spirit and the heart. It is a time where we come to our mats, to our personal worlds, and begin to make sense of self, of life's situations, and also a time to listen. To turn inward.

One skill that I have developed is one of being incredibly empathic. I can feel a room, the energy from people. As a teacher and a singer, this helps me tremendously, as I can respond and guide from this place of awareness.

In being me, I am also very aware that I am a big 'ole introvert, which means that the very skill of empathy that helps me to be authentic as a teacher, singer, and wife, can make social situations somewhat overwhelming. If God didn't bless me with this unique blend of opposing traits, I may not be able to live in balance, and balance is a top value of mine. I would burnout-- and I have already, actually...I've learned balance through the experience of imbalance. Yes, in being "me", I accept all of me. The limitations actually serve me in my work, in our home, and in life. In not being me, I've also learned who I am not. Those experiences have been equally as helpful.

I bet right about now you are beginning to think of something in your own life in which you have perceived one way, that may actually be serving you quite well. I sure hope so. This is the main reason I share my life and thoughts...to help open you up. So that you can release self-judgement and embrace all the wonder that you are. :)

In my off-time I jog and go to the gym, and also enjoy reading, journaling, practicing yoga, meditating, walking in nature with our dog, and living a very silent life. For it is in the silence where I can hear, replenish, self-nourish, commune with God and my heart and the energy in which I wish to emit. I must feed myself strength, joy, love and peace in order to share the same. As I am full, I can then step behind the microphone and onto the mat with authenticity.

This life that brings me such contentment has its trade-offs. Family gatherings and time with friends...very limited. Drinking alcohol...um, about six glasses of wine a year. Small talk...little mental space for it. I have no regrets, no wishes for anything different, and absolutely no sadness. Because I have already had and enjoyed many, many, many nights out, family get togethers, the idle chit-chat, the hungover mornings, etc. I enjoyed them when I was meant to. And now it is time to experience what it means to be 45-year-old-Janna. I have more on my plate than I did 5 years ago.

What version of you are you experiencing? Is it time to let go and move forward? Can you take a moment, close your eyes, breathe, and listen? Your heart is aching to chat with you. :) My truth is only meant to inspire your truth. Our truths will be different, and that's what makes life so rich, don't ya think?

May you continue to be the magnificent you that you are. Honor your truth. Release expectations. Simply be your best in all that you do. I look forward to seeing you out there soon. Until then...

]]>http://jannaaudey.com/news.html#56Fri, 11 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700 - Janna Audey - BlogWaiting to Exhalehttp://jannaaudey.com/news.html#55
Happy spring and happy Wednesday! It's been awhile since I have written. Today seems perfect, before the yoga teaching day begins. There is a calm energy on this gray day...

I chose the title of a Whitney Houston song for today's blog entry. Her sudden passing was a shock to those who followed her music, her impeccable delivery as a vocalist, and her troubled life. I think we as a society have much to learn from Whitney. She was blessed with such raw talent, undeniable beauty, a strong presence, and that package came with a big shadow...one that she, unfortunately, couldn't escape. She was human and angelic at the same time. Aren't we all?

We all live with shadows...some are more apparent than others. Food addiction is not something to be ridiculed, nor is drug or alcohol addiction. Other addictions are less visible-- being overly ambitious, an incessant gossip, or highly competitive, for example, always needing to "win" or "be right". Our culture seems to support some of these behaviors. Certainly, if you are a professional athlete, then you are required to be competitive and overly ambitious. For the rest of us, though, when we find ourselves teetering, it's always good to check-in and ask "why?"...

Why am I working so hard?Why do I talk about others in unpleasant ways?Why am I reaching for that extra helping of food when I'm really not hungry? Why am I feeling tempted? Often times, it is a physiological need, other times, though, its root is psychological in nature.

There is a little bit of Whitney Houston in each of us. Before you cast the stone and take it upon yourself to judge her, all I ask is that you stop, think, and examine your own life. Self-compassion and self-forgiveness are incredible gifts. As we genuinely allow ourselves permission to be human and to work through our "stuff", we then give everyone around us the freedom to do the same. We then feel compassion-- genuine compassion-- for people when they must publicly face their stuff.

Only you have the answers to your truth. Only you have lived your life. There is no one else like you on the planet, which means that your truth may resemble someone else's, however as we dig deeper we find the journey to be quite personal, unique.

Go ahead...let go. Exhale. That's right. You are a human being, imperfect, flawed and beautiful! You are here to learn through every experience. That the biggest challenges you have faced are gifts, too. They will most likely catapult you to higher highs, for you've already seen those lowest-lows. And then, life comes into a balance, as we experience our earthly form while connected to the realm of spirit, consciousness, cosmos-- whatever your beliefs. Our differences, our shadows, our similarities, our gifts, our struggles, within our micro-communities work together, keeping things in balance. We remind one another of what is possible, and when we succeed, reflect back how important it is to stay dedicated to our life's truth. To look ahead. To perservere.

May you find strength in your day, compassion in your heart, and patience in your mind. Until next time...