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Upon naming his Olympic squad Stuart Pearce claimed he had a
duty to Great Britain to pick the best team available, claiming
that there was no room for sentiment. In doing so the inexperienced
manager decided to leave out the Nations favourite and footballing
superstar David Beckham for other over aged players Bellamy and
Richards. Are you seriously telling me that Team GB have a chance
of winning a medal, i think not! Thousands and thousands of Brits
snapped up tickets so they could say that they had seen Beckham
play. He has more skill in his new hairstyle than half of the squad
put together. From dead ball situations he is and still is lethal!
As we have no chance of glory we believe Beckham would of lit up
the team and pulled them through just like that famous game at Old
Trafford when he single handedly got us to the World Cup! But
Pearce said he had a duty to Great Britain. So if that is the case
we expect your resignation before the games start. You are only the
manager because of your links to the FA. You have a duty Psycho, a
duty to reinstate Becks to the squad and go back to being Roy's
lapdog!

You would think that after being given a public dressing down
for his off and on field antics our favourite Mario Balotelli would
be keeping his head down this summer. Especially after playing a
starring role for Italy in the Euros. But oh no he strikes again.
Instead of clean living over the summer Mario reportedly ran up a
£4,000 bar bill in one evening at Linkers Bar in Ibiza and was
openly seen swigging from a champagne bottle. This will surely not
go down too well at the Etihad where Mancini was quoted as saying
he was finished at City. We ran into Mario but he wouldn't turn
round for us to take a picture. All he kept saying was 'Why Always
Me'. Answers on a postcard to uglyfootballers.com

I take
penalties for my Sunday league team. Head down, put your foot
through it and hit the net. Others have the confidence to place it
top Corner. Put them we have the likes of
Yann Kermorgant(the attached link says it all).
Don't think he is too welcome at Leicester after his appalling
penalty miss cost them a play off place. There has never
been a worse penalty than that has there? Oh yes there has, step
forward Yakubu, with Blackburn playing for there lives he stepped
up to get them back into the game at Ewood. Whats happens next
defies all levels of belief! It's a passback, abysmal bemoans the
commentator. If you have seen a worse penalty in your life we want
to hear about it!!

One is world famous for appearing in Toy Story whilst Mr Potato
Head has been scoring goals for Barcelona, Everton, Spurs and
laterly Grampus 8 for years and years. But we think there is
something spooky going on as the likeness is too exact. Have you
ever seem them together? Shout us up any other lookalikes you have
spotted over the years!

The scenes witnessed at White Hart Lane the other week bought a
tear to the eye of football fans the world over. It puts everything
into perspective. If ever Bill Shankly's famous quote was proved
wrong this is the time. Everyone at Uglyfootballers wishes Fabrice
Muamba the best in his fight for recovery. We are with you all the
way big man.

Minutes to go at Old Trafford and it looks like United are going
to go three points clear at the top. But late substitute Danny
Murphy surges into the box and Michael Carrick trips him, what a
late turn in the race for the Premiership. Penalty, its a penalty,
Clint Dempsey can give Fulham a share of the spoils here from the
spot. The blue side of Manchester are going crazy, not to mention
myself as Dempsey is in my fantasy team. Can Fulham take advantage.
But wait! What happens next is beyond belief referee Michael Oliver
waves away appeals and doesn't give it. The biggest stone wall
penalty you will ever see. How can he not give it, he must, he has
to for the good of football. But he doesn't. Bottled, bottled,
bottled. Martin Jol is tearing his hair out, well he would be , you
get the general idea. Never in the short history of the Premiership
has such an injustice occurred, it makes Lampard's goal against
Germany seem fair. What is the point of having a linesman, my uncle
Horris would of flagged and he has no arms, he doesn't even have a
flag. Being a Man City fan if he did i know where he would put
it!

Ramsey inside to Song, who passed it sideways to Rosicky, he
then turns and passes it square to Ramsey. This repeats for a while
then Arsenal lose the ball. Where is the cutting edge the width, is
Theo even on the pitch sometimes, dont even get Gooners talking
about Arshavin or Gervinho. Arsenal have gone from the unbeatable
side that contained Pires, Henry, Bergkamp and Vierra to a team so
lacking in drive that even Blackburn (BLACKBURN) with the prolific
Goodwillie upfront gave them a lesson in sticking it in the old
onion bag. Heaven forbid RVP gets injured, that would leave them
with about as much chance of Champions league football as Wigan. In
other words they have somehow gone from footballs beautiful swan
gliding through teams without hesistating to the Premier Leagues
ugly duckling. The only answer is to spend for the next season with
the quality of players that will have an effect now not in ten
years. Surely Arsene sees this, lets hope so for the grumbling
gooners out there!

As im sure you fellow uglies are aware today is Valentine's day,
it is the one day of the year we need to be romantic. Forget that
it is expected of us!!! So do you simply stay away from the match
so you don't have to answer the old 'You love football more than
me' question. I tried this once but spent the whole evening simply
checking my phone for goal updates from my mates, which inevitably
created friction and the response 'why didnt you just go to the
game instead!!!! Arrgghh. I even gave up tickets for a FA Cup
quarter final away at rivals Villa to spend the weekend with my now
ex in Oxford. What happens we beat them for the first time away in
our history, how did i miss it? Why did i miss it, my misery is
further compounded with the very same 'why didnt you just go
to the game instead'!!!! What am i doing tonight, im spending it
with the wife, ive told her she is more important might of forget
to mention were not even playing! Let us know what you decided, did
you book that all important dinner table or go tail between the
legs to the match!

"Cap a tea" Arry, ah triffic Sandra, lovely, just
the job, had one of those at Portsmouth not a moments
trouble.

All is quiet at Sandbanks, the recent heart
problems and much reported court case are all in the past, now the
Redknapp's can relax and stay on the back page. Or so they thought.
fast forward to the FA headquarters and Postman Pat has resigned
his post as England Manager just months before the Euro's. Picture
the scene "Arry its the FA on the phone, they said the England job
is available, Fabio has quit, they want to interview you" Hold on
they want to interview him, give him the job NOW, what are they
waiting for? Lets face it though going back to when Cloughie should
of got the job, the FA bottled it and since then a succession of
wrong choices and foreign managers have seen us go from contenders
to a complete laughing stock. Don't get me started on the Wally
with the Brolly. I dont want to hear Mourinho, Holloway, Pardew or
Shearers name anywhere near it. So Harry put those slippers away
and take a bow, you are the only candidate and the man for the job!
Shorly the FA wont get it wrong again? Watch this space!

"Cap a tea" Arry, ah triffic Sandra, lovely, just the job, had
one of those at Portsmouth not a moments trouble.

All is quiet at Sandbanks, the recent heart problems and much
reported court case are all in the past, now the Redknapp's can
relax and stay on the back page. Or so they thought. fast forward
to the FA headquarters and Postman Pat has resigned his post as
England Manager just months before the Euro's. Picture the scene
"Arry its the FA on the phone, they said the England job is
available, Fabio has quit, they want to interview you" Hold on they
want to interview him, give him the job NOW, what are they waiting
for? Lets face it though going back to when Cloughie should of got
the job, the FA bottled it and since then a succession of wrong
choices and foreign managers have seen us go from contenders to a
complete laughing stock. Don't get me started on the Wally with the
Brolly. I dont want to hear Mourinho, Holloway, Pardew or Shearers
name anywhere near it. So Harry put those slippers away and take a
bow, you are the only candidate and the man for the job! Shorly the
FA wont get it wrong again? Watch this space!