Chicago Men Willing To Pay An Average Of 131 Dollars For A First Date On Valentines Day, Which Begs The Question, What Single Guy Would Ever Want To Go On A First Date On Valentines Day?

CHICAGO — How much would Chicago singles pay not to be alone on Valentine’s Day? About $131.70, based on data collected by WhatsYourPrice.com, a website that plays Cupid by setting up prospective lovers as long as one is willing to pay for the first date. The site set up 370,000 first dates in the four weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day nationwide. More than 13,000 were for Chicago singles looking for a companion ahead of Thursday’s holiday, according to Leroy Velasquez, the site’s spokesman and a Chicago native.

“Who wants to be single on Valentine’s Day, honestly?” Velasquez said. Chicago ranks fourth among all cities in using the service, he said, in which users looking for romance can scan profiles of possible dates online, than make a monetary offer to get together. The other person may either accept, reject or counter offer. The payments are usually made when the two people meet in person for their first date, the site says, but the site says no escorts are allowed to post on it. Chicagoans are also willing to shell out more than the average customer on the site, where dates go on average for $80, Velasquez said.

“Chicago singles are open-minded into trying this way of trying a first date,” Velasquez said. “It says people there are open-minded and sentimental about Valentine’s Day. It’s not just a day for couples.” Earlier this year, the site conducted a report surveying 4,000 Chicago women, finding their ideal date probably looks like Jake Gyllenhaal and makes $150,000 to $200,000 a year.

“Who wants to be single on Valentine’s Day, honestly?”

Ummm, how about every guy on planet earth who doesn’t want to fake affection, buy jewelry, and spend a shit load of money at a packed expensive restaurant? Is that enough people for you? Seriously, what fucking guys are paying over a hundred dollars to go on a first date on Valentines Day? Who the fuck are these people? I can’t think of a worse idea on planet earth. Go to a bar and find some desperate chick who wants to fuck, yes. PAY to have a girl go out on a date with you so you can pretend to have company on Valentines Day, abso-fucking-lutely not.

I mean I get that girls love Valentines Day, and the single girl that pretends she’s a “proud” woman who doesn’t need a man in her life is secretly an em0tional wreck because all her friends have boyfriends and she’s stuck sitting at home watching Bravo, inhaling Ben & Jerry’s, and questioning her self worth as a human being, but all of that, that’s the exact opposite for men. Valentines Day for men is like a fucking victory lap for the single guys out there. They don’t have to buy shit. They don’t have to make plans. They don’t have to do something “special”. Its just Thursday, and that’s awesome. So to whoever these guys are, the ones that are paying over 100 dollars to not be alone on Valentines Day, stop, you’re giving us all a bad name and quite frankly, you’re fucking stupid.

PS
Best thing I have ever done on Valentines Day was when I was in college, I made a shit load of reservations 3 months before hand and then sold them all on Craigslist to the suckers that forgot to make a plan. That was my peak as an entrepreneur. That and when I invented the fake 2 dollar bill.

UPDATE – I know Dwight Schrute did this, where the fuck do you think he got the idea from? I did it in 2005. Believe me or not, I don’t really care.