It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, so pass me a beer and let’s cheers to UC and Moon on 3 years of writing letters to you! I realize they aren’t always the most flattering, sometimes a little fan girly and almost always snarky, but you have to hand it to UC and Moon — finding material to write to you when you disappear for days, isn’t the easiest thing to do. I think you should get their fan cards laminated for an anniversary gift (and maybe leave your phone number on the back).

In honor of this happy occasion, I decided to surprise the girls by breaking into the blog and talking to some longtime friends about their favorite posts. So enjoy! (How could you not, it’s all about you!?)

Today’s fellow guests, please introduce yourselves and how long have you been reading?

Read_or_sleep: Summer 2009Cazza: March 2009PlaneFriend: Reading Since: About 5 seconds after this post. When I saw Stephenie was going to have fansites interview her, I decided to go looking at the fansites. All the others I just glanced at, read a page or two, and never went back to again. Within days, I was reading most of the LTT backlogs…realized I knew UC a few weeks later, started writing for y’all occasionally, and the rest in history.Stacey: March 2010LonestarKendall: March 2009Rachel B, formerly GriffsSayWhat: Winter 2009Alice_NaA – Bella_NaA : A long long time ago, when palatial pads and hot pocket fortresses where yet to be built, Summit was not to blame, TomStu still shaved, Bobbygee shared his wisdom, AmanDUH was working her living room corners, the Pattinson pants were in style, and Oregano was not just an Italian herb.superhumanmoron: January 2009MrsKowski: I’ve been reading since March of 2009. The post that started it all for me was the “This is how you found us? Vol. 2” it was linked on NewMoonMovie.org – my world has not been the same since I made the decision to click on that link.Snowwhitedrifted: January 2010Janetrigs: February 2009Allryans: April 2009, actually since THIS post.Operarose: August 2009TeamSeth: September 16, 2009

And if you don’t know me, I’m Brookelockart and have been starting trouble since March 2009.

Which posts have made you snarfle your drink while reading?

Read_or_sleep: Four Words. WE ARE THE ROB. What happened to that song? When UC, Moon and special guests broke down the Details pictures. Most sites were basically just drooling and LTR made it look as if they were seriously analyzing the pictures. That time UC (I think) made the mother trucker profile for Ron when he was on the road trip from CA to NOLA.Cazza: Pattinson Pants lady at ComicCon “she lives”….she was a celebrity in her own right but just didn’t know it!!!LonestartKendall: Ahhh, the list is too long. TOO LONG. Anything by the Quad – those were always amazing,Alice_NaA: What’s Remember Me about. I actually found LTR that way… by googling “what’s remember me about”. No lie. I then spent the entire day giggling about the city housing code loophole and recreational vehicles part. I also learned many fancy words here at LTT/LTR, it’s all about education.SHM: Creepy Uncle Rob. I may have peed a little. That’s when I knew I had found my people.Allryans: I have a continuous heartquake. I’m pretty sure that I could not hold it together watching this video of your incognito dramatic poetry reading.

Like most passionate relationships, there’s a little bit of love and hate. Which post made you love him or hate him more?

Read_or_sleep: I wouldn’t say this post made me love Ron any more or less. It just left me feeling confused,Rachel B: I love the “jumping Rob” because that picture gave us endless hours of photoshopping entertainment!Alice_NaA: Hate -> the time he was driving a green Porsche. Love -> That it’s normal to disrespect Rob nice and slow.

not hot, nope.

Bella_NaA: Hate -> the wonky Cosmopolis hair. Was he trying to one-up TomStu and his monkey beard?SWD: The epic Chart-O-Robs. I like having a choice.Janetrigs: PSA I have been Cyber Bullied, – This made me HATE Ron because it showed me how there was this crazy rift in the once powerful singular unit known as Twi/Ron fan. This meant that my friends may or may not hate each other over reasons that seem ridiculous, and thus I hated him for causing the rift, because it’s always the man’s fault. I loved Ron again, not after a LTT or LTR post, but when I saw DTR or Dirty Train Ron filming pics of Water for Elephants. There is something about DTR.Allryans: HATE: (the real hate, not the Janetrigs kind). Not only did Rob completely botch this joke in the most unfunny, unendearing way ever, but REESE had to save him from it, and no one is worse than Reese. NO ONE.Teamseth: This post made me love Ron more or this post made me love him less. I did my duty. Rob is not for me.

Great picks! I love Photo-shoot Ron (think GQ), but real life Ron may not be for me!

This past week has been quite crazy for the fandom. You’ve lost fans because of your alleged relationship, celebrations have been thrown in the streets of MOANtreal probably because you left, sides have claimed “victory,” dreams have been crushed, friendships have been shattered and Moon & I have been thoroughly entertained. It seems as though everyone has forgotten the lessons of We are the Rob. Remember?

We can’t go on fighting day by day
Hoping Robsten and Nonsten will soon make a change
We’re all a part of Steph’s great Twi family
And the truth
You know Rob is all we need

We are the ROB

I’m calling a time-out. In the words of Eric Yorkie, people need to chillax. Here is what I suggest. Focus on this brilliant manip of Rob which has been posted on our picasa account since 2008 and no less than 27 12 year olds have commented & thought was actually Rob:

Are you getting a yoga-vibe? Good. Me too. Let’s run with that. We could all use a big “calm the eff down.” Now close your eyes and imagine you’re in Rob’s arms……….

Breathe in again, imagining he’s taking off his “Get off my Dick” shirt
Breathe in again…. what’s that smell? A sharpie marker?
Open your eyes slightly- did Rob gross out one of the “f’s” on “off” and turn the other “f” into an “n?” “Off” turned into “on!?” Okay back to concentrating…

Exhale while you let your mind go blank- forget all you know about Rob- forget all the baggage of many months or years of following his every move…..
Imagine the smell of processed cheese and a light flaky crust- filled with low quality sausage or ham- warmed in a microwave…. Let your ears hear the sound of a green tinted bottle cap falling to the floor….

Shhhhhhh quietly center your thoughts- focus on the picture above
Then think about if the pants were to drop a littttleeeee bitttt lower-
Oh no!
Quick! Think higher… higher- you’re about to think about The Tuck

There… that’s nice…
Focus on the muscles underneath the Che Guevara shirt he’s wearing to show his support of the Cuban people.
Think about the cell phone deep in the pocket of the green pants from the $.50 bin at a MOANtreal Salvation Army.
Think about you and Rob and all the wonderful and slightly musty scents that come along with him…. just focus on the two of you….. Oh no- who is that in the corner? TomStu?

I miss you. I didn’t know you for long, maybe a month or two in 2008, before the craziness of Twilight really hit and life was simpler- you could go into an In-N-Out without being accosted and no one cared who you were dating. Then you hooked up with Nikki Reed and she introduced you to The Wasteland- the trendy thrift store in LA. After you and Nikki fizzled out and you no longer had the guidance of a female, you mistook the Salvation Army- and I mean the one where the actual homeless shop- not the one the suburban mom, looking for a deal on baby books, goes- for a proper place to get cool clothes on the cheap. Mixed with the pieces of Edward, Tyler, Grandpa Edward & Salvador Dali’s wardrobe you stole off set, your homeless-wear plus the set costumes sure gave us a lot to talk about over the last year and 1/2.

But something seems to have changed. I heard rumors that you were seen with an iPhone 4!? WHAT!? I don’t even have one of those. And I’m the coolest cat around! (Meow) What happened to your Jitterbug phone? Does it know you’re cheating on it? How many times have you had to call Nick to ask him to remind you of your password to get INTO your iPhone? And it seems like lately you’ve put a little more effort into dressing- and that’s not like you. Take for instance what you were wearing when you went to hear Sam play at Hotel Cafe last week:

Notice that wasn’t “Navy blue parachute pants with clashing black shoes” CHECK or “ripped tshirt with jacket from 1984” CHECK! It’s like you’ve taken some of those millions you’ve made and discovered online shopping or something. And NOT from Craigslist.com where you can find 3 trash bags full of old clothes for $30.00 (Don’t get any ideas. I just made that up- it probably doesn’t really exit…) [Sidenote: What are you carrying in this picture? Did you bringing something for Sam to sign? It is your high school yearbook!?]

Confession time: I like a guy who dresses decently. I’m not saying I want my man to look like he stepped off the runaway, but something that matches, isn’t too ripped up or dirty and was purchased in this century is always nice. So while I appreciate the sentiment behind the dorky clothes of your past (the “I really don’t care about dressing nicely because I Have no idea how attractive I am” sentiment), I wasn’t one of those who was freaking out over every new picture when you showed up to a bar wearing a snuggie & a pair of snow shoes (It COULD happen!) Okay the blogger in me was freaking out because everytime the Dadcase comes into the picture or something new is worn from the last trip home to London when you raided Dick’s closettda it gives us so much blog fodder to laugh over, but the person, UnintendedChoice, who is attracted to you first and foremost isn’t super excited. I’d rather not be reminded of my nerdy cousin when I see new pictures of you out on the town.

But I’m wondering, what’s next? Are you trading in the DADCASE for a sleek “Skin” to carry your macbook Pro? Or no- don’t tell me.. you have an IPAD don’t you!? And WHERE is the Bubble jacket? Don’t tell me you gave it back to Dick when he was in town for the Eclipse premiere. You can’t be too good for the bubble jacket!

I don’t know Rob. I get attached to those things we’ve seen you in for these past 2 years (although considering you still own hand-sewn clothing you wore back in the Harry Potter days, I’m gonna guess you’re more attached than I am) And despite the fact that I’d love to see you out and about in a sleek pair of skinny jeans, a tight v-neck Tshirt (love a man in a v-neck. When Mr. Choice puts one on, GAME OVER) maybe in a metro-sexual, girly color like pink or purple- I know deep down Dorky Rob is still inside of sleek, cool Rob. Inside of THIS:

Yellow can look good!! Who knew!?

is THIS:

“American Flag wearing Rob.”

God bless the man who wears an American Shirt

and “Is he mentally-challenged Rob”

We always knew he should have played Corky…

and “Gift-bearing Rob”

Step 3: make her open the box

I’m just wondering when we’ll see uber-dorky Rob once again. Just promise me first you’ll kill me with a pink v-neck! Target has them on sale this week….

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Thanks to Robsessed for always being the place where I can find pictures!

Also happy happy birthday to wonderful LTR-reader JULES from all of us here at LTR! XO

What do you think? Is fame & money changing the way Rob dresses? Do you think someone is buying clothes for him? DO you think DEEP DOWN THERE our Dorky Rob is still around? Or do you think he’s closer to the surface and maybe even this week he’ll be back with a home-sewn t-shirt paired with a pair of Jorts & a trench coat (OMG Rob in Jorts- I’d die. Seriously. LIfe over. Dream Came True. No need to continue to live!)

This weekend we’re getting a little cultured as we visit the Museum of Rob!

Dear Rob,

When I saw the headline a few months back, “Rob Pattinson Gets Waxed” it was a bit of a shock. WHAT were you waxing and WHY?? But no, to my relief your pubes were intact and the article was about your new figure at Madame Tussauds! There was pandemonium on opening day! Women lined up to have their pic taken with you and to run their hands through your fake hair! It kind of looks like you, but there’s something a little off. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t kick wax Rob out of bed, but it’s not quite you. The clothes, the posture, the eyes-it’s just a bit off. But seeing you in that “museum” got me thinking-Rob,you deserve more than a cheesy wax effigy. You deserve your OWN museum. Sure, you’ve only been famous for a few years, but to me, you are a work of art. So I started tossing around some ideas…

Welcome to The Museum of Rob Containing artifacts spanning over twenty-four years.

Item: Wand
Materials: Ash, Unicorn(?) Hair
Date: 2004
Donated by: Donor prefers to remain anonymous.
Provenance: This is the wand used by Rob in the fourth Harry Potter film. We are thrilled to have Rob’s wand on display.

Item: Plaid shirt
Materials: Cotton, plastic
Date: 2009
Donated by: M. Foster
Provenance: this is a particularly rare and coveted piece, as it was worn consecutively by all members of the Brit Pack. Unwashed.

(Moon here, today I moved into a new place and wouldn’t you know it, the internet isn’t set up. Obviously some Twilight haters work at the internet company and didn’t want me to post today. But BiteMeBaker came to the rescue, and after hauling a refrigerator into my new house, she drove all the way home and posted for me so that you would have something to look at on Friday morning. I’m not going to let a little thing like completely changing households get in the way of providing you with entertainment on this Friday morning. So please to be enjoying!)

Dear Rob,

Were you in LA today? Did you notice how hot it was? I did. Moon did. EVERYONE DID. I think it must have been the hottest day of the year so far. And you know what else today was? Moving day for Moon! Fun times I tell ya. Being the good friend that I am, I showed up at 8:30 pm to help move. Perfect timing. I only had to take one truckload! Although it was still probably in the high 80’s even that late in the evening. Moon’s new house is at the top a hill, a big hill…again. Having shown up so late in the day, all of the really big heavy things were already inside.

But I did manage to do one pretty physically taxing thing, I helped the guy friends unload the new fridge from said guy friends truck. At one point, I was laying across the top of the (very dusty) fridge, holding it in place as it tipped over the edge of the tailgate. Pretty sure the only thing that kept it from falling on the guys toes were my boobs.

Anyhow, moving is a dirty job. Moving in 90+ degree weather is an even dirtier job. This video (kind of) relates how Moon & I feel right now. We may not have the rich part, but damnit, we sure are beautiful and dirty.*