HM here. Public servant and union member. And yes, I am aware of the typo in my blog name. http://www.harrangueman.blogspot.com/

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Dominatrix Deems Safety Word Offensive

Sydney, Australia; Dominatrix, Mistress Skin Stripper, denied services to local bigot Adrian Verdent, after his choice of safety word was made clear.

Verdent, strung up in the Mistress's wheel of pain clad only in a stud covered jock strap and gimp mask asked for his safety word, a verbal command to indicate that his was worried for his person and that any masochistic acts being committed on his body was to cease immediately, to be that which is commonly used as a derogatory term to describe those of African descent.

'What did you say?' had screamed Mistress Skin Stripper, demanding Verdent repeat the word, with Mr Verdent happily restating his choice believing it to be part of the oncoming inflict pain game.

Mistress Skin Stripper then told him in no uncertain terms that his use of that word was incredibly offensive and she would not longer proffer her services of whipping with an ultra fibreglass rod, nor shove an orange in his anus as previously arranged.

'Cocksucker, mother-fucker, fuck, shit, cunt, cock, and pussy; none of these words are offensive in my trade. But his [Verdent's] choice of safety word is clearly out of line. Let someone else grease their hand up and manipulate citrus fruit into his rectum.'

Mr Verdent was then unceremoniously taken off the wheel of pain, but not before being spun a few times first by the brothel bouncer, Washington Smith, a US national that happened to be working cash in hand in brothel security, supplementing his United Negro College Fund study scholarship with some extra funds.

'Let's just say on his way out of the building I educated Mr Verdent about the correct usage of "Nigger". For instance, who exactly could use it, and reinforcing the fact that the only pale white cracker on this planet who has carte blanche to say it is Quentin Tarrantino. Even then only if Samuel Jackson happens to be in the room with him at the time to protect his skinny white ass from any other brother in earshot.'

Mr Verdent was last seen having his head used to open the fire door then thrown across an alley into a dumpster.

6 comments:

Lol! It might have something to do with the fact I had about 3 hours sleep last night, but it wasn't until I'd read down the first paragraph or so that I realised why I hadn't seen this in the papers! You're pretty damn good...

Mid-semester exams... a way of making sure our levels of stress hormones remain constantly at sky-high levels throughout the entire semester instead of having a single peak right before the holidays, I reckon.