If I commit suicide?

If/when I die, I don't think ex will look after them as well as I would like, so can I make it so legally my mother could? And if I leave this in a letter, will the courts take it into consideration? Or as I'm depressed will they say I was mentally unstable?

In your situation - and leaving suicide out of it altogether - you need legal advice and a Will. That will carry far more weight with any authority than a letter.As BooBoo says though what your dcs need above all is you. However fragile and inadequate you may feel, you are still the centre of their world. Please take care of yourself.

You must be feeling dreadful to be thinking of such things. Please go to your GP or CPN or phone Samaritans. There are people who will listen. You want your children brought up a certain way and the best person to do that is you.

I'm n ot a lawyer and I suspect you need legal advice on this. Does your ex have parental rights? What contact does he have with this children? Is he likely to contest your mother having custody?

You can't just write a letter and sort it all out. It's not like making a will, where you can leave your possessions. If a court was involved they have to decide what's best for the children, not about what you wanted. You will leave your kids and your mother in a total mess.

And what's best for your children is that you stay alive. However crap a mother you think you are because of your depression. Because if you kill yourself your children will NEVER get over it. So get some help

you're thinking about your children even in the depths of despair, because you love them. The fact that you love them means you need to force yourself to stick around to be there for them, no matter how hard it is.

Even if you have to take yourself to A&E leaving them with a neighbour the upset of that to them would be absolutely NOTHING compared to the lifelong trauma for them if you kill yourself. They would suffer horribly, please don't do it.

My friend's sister committed suicide 4 years ago, leaving 2 children. Her other sister was the one who found her. The devastation left is terrible. The children are still in therapy and have behavioural problems, the sister who found her is still a wreck and the partner doesn't know how to cope with the kids. Don't do this to your kids, there is always another option.

Hey, not only do you have your children to take care of but please try to believe that you won't always feel so awful. Life will get better, it can't be rock bottom forever and you will enjoy life again. Don't give up hope yet xxx

Oh, OP! I cannot imagine how awful things must be for you that you would even consider suicide .

However bad things may be now, if you end your life things for your children, family and friends will be much, much, MUCH worse without you around. Please seek help. You will need an awful lot of support to see how you can change things for the better, but you CAN!

If you come back to this thread maybe you might want to tell us a bit about what's on your heart.

Sweetheart please talk to us. I think the majority of us have suicidal thoughts. I think about killing myself every single day and the only reason I don't is because of my kids. How old ate your kids?

Just don't do it. Your children won't understand. They will name themselves or think that you didn't love them enough. They spend their wholes lives filled with guilt and wondering what they could have done to stop you. Their grief will impact on everything they ever do for the rest of their lives. Every relationship they have, even having their own children. They might even end up suffering with depression themselves.

I don't mean to sound hash but I've been where you are. They put me I'm hospital to stop me.

I know you feel so fucking shit and full of hurt that every part of you is in constant pain. But there are people and medication that can help you.

OP, my dh lost his mum to suicide when he was 11 years old, he and his sister were cared for by their dad and grandmother, no one could comare to having their mum in their lives and both of them have grown up with serious issues including depression and eating dissorders, my dh can not trust anyone, he can never be happy because he is scared it will be taken away from him , theres not a day that goes past that he is not effected by what his mum did, a child needs their mother.

Please talk to someone and get the help you need, the fact you are worrying about what your children will do without you just proves you have a very good reason to live, your children need you (not their dad or your mum, they need their mum for as long as possible).

The kids are 11, 4 and 3 mths. Ive tried asking for help, but, no real help is given except pills that are not working and counselling that is too far away for me to get too, I'm scared to leave the house. A life trapped in doors with a mum that won't stop crying can't be healthy for them either. I keep begging my health visitor for help but she says she will, and no help is given. I've started stuttering and slurring my words and the kids get scared as they don't know what's going on. I don't feel brave enough to ask for help anymore. I know it will be hard for the kids, but don't know what the alternative is.

oh mannicmummy, you have 3 lovely children that need their mummy, have you got a friend that you could talk to or could help you to ask for help through your GP or HV? Is it PND or something you have suffered with for a long time?

There is help out there, i know its hard to find it, please phone your GP in the morning (do it for your dc's) and ask to change your medication, you don't need to go into details but tell them 'you need to try something else' also ask if its possible to have counselling over the phone (i have had this when i could not get to the gp's on the days the counseller was there).

ok, you sound like you are in a bad place right now: do you think you can hang on till tomorrow for the gp? because if not, you can go to a and e and ask for help. can you ask your mum to come and help with the children this evening? would it help if your mum was with you? because i am sure if she thought you were feeling so awful, she would want to be there. at least, call the samaritans, or keep talking here.

please, i know things are terrible now, but this is not forever, and your children need you to stay with them.