Tara Hardy said, on trying to describe her gender, that it eludes her like a cloud. She gets a taste of it and then it loses form and she can’t describe it… and thats kind of how I feel about my gender.

Just when I think I’ve figured it out, my sense of gender (pausing dramatically for a moment to quote Robert Louis Stevenson) vanishes like a stain of breath upon a mirror.

I’m going to try nailing down this gender-cloud-thing by writing about it every week, because sometimes I can see bits of where my gender is. I’m also going to look for forms of radical masculinity (different ways of performing male gender that don’t necessarily support the patriarchy).*

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So without further ado, I’ll start with Furry Walls… or more accurately Russell Brand.

Russell Brand, has a feminine masculinity that strikes a large chord with me. Possibly because he’s a notorious ladies man. This doesn’t mean I like feminine guys who like guys any less, I just really admire the guts it must take to perform femininity as a man without the support that the queer community can give. (Especially if the guy in question can get more girls than anyone else).

I also highly appreciate his fancy pompness. He pounces and dances throughout the room. He’s charming, smarmy, and a bit obscene. Kind of like (and these are his own words) an SM Willy Wonka.

It’s a fancy pants kind of pompness that I find similar to my own and, although a lot of my maleness is lost when I let out that much prancing bounciness, it’s very much like the kind of male I’d be. Or at least that I think I’d be….

But since SouthernGents isn’t a kinky site (and most of my sexuality involves kink), we had to get creative.

Food play is one of those things that I’d never included in my spank bank until very recently when I gripped for a FANTASTIC foodplay scene at fetishannex with Nurse Vivienne and Alice in Bondageland. Ever since then, I’ve had all sorts of naughty food-related ideas, but most of them weren’t curling-my-toes good… just kind of titillating.

But with the combination of food play and my love of edge play, a wonderful idea was born: playing with food I find gross.

The Federal Trade Commission has begun overseeing the relationship between bloggers and companies. Although it’s a bit annoying (and means there’s one more post on my blog that isn’t as smexy) it’s important because it helps ensure that bloggers like me are accountable for how we’re tied to groups who will profit from what we write. These guidelines are especially important for bloggers like me who are trying to educate as well as titillate.

As a result, I want to make it perfectly clear how I’m tied to the businesses I’ve worked with.

I’ve worked for Medical Toys, Twisted Clinic, and fetishannex (which are all the same company). At Medical Toys and Twisted clinic, I worked mainly in shipping and handling but also a bit in customer service as Nurse Rebecca.

I am not currently part of any affiliate program, so my links to medicaltoys, kink, etc. are mainly for context. For my live shows at kinklive.com, this does potentially drive traffic to a place where I make money, but I don’t make anything extra for doing my own advertising.

Its also totally legitimate to watch my cam shows for free and without registering, you just won’t get to see the X-rated side of me. 😉

I think (and this is the simplest definition I can come up with) that sex positive is a way to describe education that makes no moral judgements on a person’s sexual desire and that supports all sexual activity done between consenting people so long as it doesn’t hurt anyone.

But that’s pretty much where the simple definition ends.

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Education could be anything from condom + cucumber sex ed to how you talk about sex and relationships with your friends. A lot of good can be done in whispers to the right people, almost as much good as can be done with more formal kinds of activism.

Moral judgment may sound like the easy thing to avoid, but it’s not. It’s really hard not to be judgy sometimes, especially when one is talking about sex. Sex (especially a lot of the smexing I do) is very taboo, and its easier to make yourself feel better about what you’re doing by throwing someone else to the radical. “Oh this? It’s not kinky. If I tied your face to the floor and peed in your ear, THAT would be kinky. But this? Not kinky.” Now, if you’re not the tying down and peeing in the ear type, this can ease up the feeling of taboo you have about what it is you’re trying to do, but it excludes folks in the pee positive crowd. And being excluded feels shitty.

So, I did this thing a while back @fetishannex that completely blew my head in a very, very good way. Alice in Bondageland came up and we did a really, really fun geeky scene involving me, as a hacker, getting kidnapped by ninjas and then being broken in as a new recruit to their fiendish gang. We did the shoot at about 3 am and Alice and chainmaille mike had to leave in the morning. So I didn’t get a much time to process it. I decided to digest the experience by tweeting for a week as if the scene was still on.

In taking over my own aftercare, I created a monster.

The Hacker Siren Adventures

It started out as a bit of a joke, but now its morphed into a full-fledged erotica with chapters and everything. I want to start sharing the adventures, but they pick up at chapter 2 after the weeks worth of tweeting and ‘yall are going to need some background first. (especially because the actual footage of the scene might not be posted on fetishannex for a while)

sorry you have to read it from bottom to top, someday when I’m a more professional pervert I’ll have the software to make it look prettier

Ok, so they come with a warning because they honest-to-god ACTUALLY had a dead body in them at some time. and that’s kind of a biohazard. even if it makes the little goth child in be squee with delight.

but just think of how soft and STURDY these things must be…. how easy it would be to tie someone up in one…

I loved the video so much I ended up watching it several times before coming to the conclusion that this needs more than just a retweet… this shit needs to be shared everywhere.

Basically, the issue is this:

With the sheer volume of viewings Craigslist had compared to other listing sites, it made much more sense for people to post sex work advertisements on Craigslist even though they are more likely to get caught using Craigslist than they would if they were using smaller networks. Craigslist benefited off of the increased accessibility to its adult section by getting more visits to their site, but they also used the increased visibility in cooperation with law enforcement to make their site more accountable.

Digital sleuthing made it MUCH easier to catch the really bad guys than it was when they had to work through smaller, more secretive networks.

Good guys got to post advertisements easier. Bad guys got caught more often. It was a win-win situation.

oliver Hyde

I’m a trans* genderqueer kinky poly geek trying to change the world with kinky porn and daily social justice. When I’m not strapped to a gyno table in a straight jacket, I’m talking about how power and privilege shape our sexualities

I try to be as authentic as possible in my adult work, while still performing enough to keep a roof over my head.
Although I'm a girl for pay, I use male and gender neutral pronouns in real life.

featured posts

So, I have this gender thing. And its complicated. Tara Hardy said, on trying to describe her gender, that it eludes her like a cloud. She gets a taste of it and then it loses form and she can’t describe it… and thats kind of how I feel about my gender. Just when I think […]

I recently had an opportunity to shoot with KinkyGamerSilas for Southern Gents. But since SouthernGents isn’t a kinky site (and most of my sexuality involves kink), we had to get creative. Food play is one of those things that I’d never included in my spank bank until very recently when I gripped for a […]

The Federal Trade Commission has begun overseeing the relationship between bloggers and companies. Although it’s a bit annoying (and means there’s one more post on my blog that isn’t as smexy) it’s important because it helps ensure that bloggers like me are accountable for how we’re tied to groups who will profit from what we write. These […]

ever since I read Visitors from Japan by Remittance Girl I’ve had a bit of a secret love for cephalopods. I love how these are a fleshy color, as opposed to the blue, green, and orange I usually see for octapussies. I love the curves. and I especially love how there are even little sparkles on […]

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