Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Jewish Christmas.

One of my regular callers Frank Cooke from Barnados U/K has sent this to me, being I am very busy Frank can take care of any mud slinging from the Faith Industry followers.

JEWISH CHRISTMASAs a teacher, Ms. Jones, was very curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas. She called on young Patrick Murphy."Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas Time?", she asked. Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Jones, my twelve brothers and sisters and I go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys". "Very nice Patrick", she said.

"Now, Jimmy what do you do at Christmas?""Well, Ms. Jones, my sister and I also go to Church with Mum And Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents."

Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now, Isaac, what do you do at Christmas?"Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls and drive to our toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and begin to sing 'What a Friend We Have in Jesus'. Then we all go to the Bahamas."

3 comments:

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, 'Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?'

'Wait a moment,' Socrates replied. 'Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test.'

'Triple filter?' asked the acquaintance.

'That's right,' Socrates continued. 'Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?'

'No,' the man said, 'actually I just heard about it.'

'All right,' said Socrates. 'So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?'

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued..' You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?'

'No, not really...'

'Well,' concluded Socrates, 'if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?'

The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

But It also explains why he never found out that Plato was having an affair his wife.............

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About Me

Ardent family orientated bloke,love my family lots.
Love Australia my Beautiful adopted country, but remember passionately my home village, Chalgrove in Oxfordshire, England. My favourite friends would include several shipmates I am in close contact with who served with me while in the British Royal Navy ..going back a fair bit.
There is also the silence of my age, too full of wisdom for the tongue to utter it - in words intelligible to those who have not lived-the great range of my life.
Vest.GSM, LSGCM, WM, B/PM, ITM, UNM, K-N M, EOW M, Asia- PAC M. ROYAL NAVY 25yrs, Retired.