The Kama Sutra

PART VCHAPTER IOF THE CHARACTERISTICS OF MEN AND WOMEN. THE REASONS WHY WOMEN REJECT THE ADDRESSES OF MEN. ABOUT MEN WHO HAVE SUCCESS WITH WOMEN, AND ABOUT WOMEN WHO ARE EASILY GAINED OVERTHE wives of other people may be resorted to on the occasions already described in Part I, Chapter V, of this work, but the possibility of their acquisition, their fitness for cohabitation, the danger to oneself in uniting with them, and the future effect of these unions, should first of all be examined. A man may resort to the wife of another, for the purpose of saving his own life, when he perceives that his love for her proceeds from one degree of intensity to another. These degrees are ten in number, and are distinguished by the following marks:Love of the eyeAttachment of the mindConstant reflectionDestruction of sleepEmaciation of the bodyTurning away from objects of enjoymentRemoval of shameMadnessFaintingDeathAncient authors say that a man should know the disposition, truthfulness, purity, and will of a young woman, as also the intensity, or weakness of her passions, from the form of her body, and from her characteristic marks and signs. But Vatsyayana is of opinion that the forms of bodies, and the characteristic marks or signs are but erring tests of character, and that women should be judged by their conduct, by the outward expression of their thoughts, and by the movements of their bodies.Now as a general rule Gonikaputra says that a woman falls in love with every handsome man she sees, and so does every man at the sight of a beautiful woman, but frequently they do not take any further steps, owing to various considerations. In love the following circumstances are peculiar to the woman. She loves without regard to right or wrong, 1 and does not try to gain over a man simply for the attainment of some particular purpose. Moreover, when a man first makes up to her she naturally shrinks from him, even though she may be willing to unite herself with him. But when the attempts to gain her are repeated and renewed, she at last consents. But with a man, even though he may have begun to love, he conquers his feelings from a regard for morality and wisdom, and although his thoughts are often on the woman, he does not yield, even though an attempt be made to gain him over. He sometimes makes an attempt or effort to win the object of his affections, and having failed, he leaves her alone for the future. In the same way, when a woman is once gained, he often becomes indifferent about her. As for the saying that a man does not care for what is easily gained, and only desires a thing which cannot be obtained without difficulty, it is only a matter of talk.The causes of a woman rejecting the addresses of a man are as follows:Affection for her husbandDesire of lawful progenyWant of opportunityAnger at being addressed by the man too familiarlyDifference in rank of lifeWant of certainty on account of the man being devoted travellingThinking that the man may be attached to some other personFear of the man's not keeping his intentions secretThinking that the man is too devoted to his friends, and has too great a regard for themThe apprehension that he is not in earnestBashfulness on account of his being an illustrious manFear on account of his being powerful, or possessed of too impetuous passion, in the case of the deer womanBashfulness on account of his being too cleverThe thought of having once lived with him on friendly terms onlyContempt of his want of knowledge of the worldDistrust of his low characterDisgust at his want of perception of her love for himIn the case of an elephant woman, the thought that he is a hare man, or a man of weak passionCompassion lest anything should befall him on account of his passionDespair at her own imperfectionsFear of discoveryDisillusion at seeing his grey hair or shabby appearanceFear that he may be employed by her husband to test her chastityThe thought that he has too much regard for moralityWhichever of the above causes a man may detect, he should endeavour to remove it from the very beginning. Thus, the bashfulness that may arise from his greatness or his ability, he should remove by showing his great love and affection for her. The difficulty of the want of opportunity, or of his inaccessibility, he should remove by showing her some easy way of access. The excessive respect entertained by the woman for him should be removed by making himself very familiar. The difficulties that arise from his being thought a low character he should remove by showing his valour and his wisdom; those that come from neglect by extra attention; and those that arise from fear by giving her proper encouragement.The following are the men who generally obtain success with women:Men well versed in the science of loveMen skilled in telling storiesMen acquainted with women from their childhood Menwho have secured their confidenceMen who send presents to themMen who talk wellMen who do things that they likeMen who have not loved other women previouslyMen who act as messengersMen who know their weak pointsMen who are desired by good womenMen who are united with their female friendsMen who are good lookingMen who have been brought up with themMen who are their neighboursMen who are devoted to sexual pleasures, even though these be with their own servantsThe lovers of the daughters of their nurseMen who have been lately marriedMen who like picnics and pleasure partiesMen who are liberalMen who are celebrated for being very strong (Bull men)Enterprising and brave menMen who surpass their husbands in learning and good looks, in good qualities, and in liberalityMen whose dress and manner of living are magnificentThe following are the women who are easily gained over:Women who stand at the doors of their housesWomen who are always looking out on the streetWomen who sit conversing in their neighbour's houseA woman who is always staring at youA female messengerA woman who looks sideways at youA woman whose husband has taken another wife without any just causeA woman who hates her husband, or who is hated by himA woman who has nobody to look after her, or keep her in checkA woman who has not had any childrenA woman whose family or caste is not well knownA woman whose children are deadA woman who is very fond of societyA woman who is apparently very affectionate with her husbandThe wife of an actorA widowA poor womanA woman fond of enjoymentsThe wife of a man with many younger brothersA vain womanA woman whose husband is inferior to her in rank or abilitiesA woman who is proud of her skill in the artsA woman disturbed in mind by the folly of her husbandA woman who has been married in her infancy to a rich man, and not liking him when she grows up, desires a man possessing a disposition, talents, and wisdom suitable to her own tastes.A woman who is slighted by her husband without any causeA woman who is not respected by other women of the same rank or beauty as herselfA woman whose husband is devoted to travellingThe wife of a jewellerA jealous womanA covetous womanAn immoral womanA barren womanA lazy womanA cowardly womanA humpbacked womanA dwarfish womanA deformed womanA vulgar womanAn ill-smelling womanA sick womanAn old womanThere are also two verses on the subject as follows:'Desire, which springs from nature, and which is increased by art, and from which all danger is taken away by wisdom, becomes firm and secure. A clever man, depending on his own ability, and observing carefully the ideas and thoughts of women, and removing the causes of their turning away from men, is generally successful with them.'Footnotes1 On peut tout attendre et tout supposer d'une femme amoureuse.--Balzac.