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#CoupleGoals- What is That?

Last Wednesday was Valentine’s Day and my social media newsfeed was choking with love (pronounce Laov). Everybody was expressing their undivided laov to their wives/girlfriends/husbands and boyfriends. The singles didn’t want to miss the fun and they claimed that V-day is not only for couples but for anyone whom you love. Therefore they started writing or copy-pasting poems and dedicating them to their friends/parents/siblings/neighbours/pets/in-laws/bosses/blah/blah/blah. The cynics were not left behind they started a counter movement and vehemently labelled V-day as a consumerist trap and started saying that we should boycott V-day and start spending our time, effort and money on social causes. There was honestly so much circus surrounding V-day that I was praying hard for it to get over.

Weeks before V-day newspapers and internet was buzzing with articles/blog posts on how to make our v-day special. And I came across articles like “how to spend your v-day” and the options given were: 1) Go to the most romantic destination Paris 2) Candle-light dinner atop Eiffel tower 3) Sunbathe together in Hawaii..and I was thinking paisa kya tera baap dega?? Then there was another article “How to dress up on V-day”. The article wrote: 1) Wear a red Prada gown 2) Wear a limited edition DKNY perfume 3) Chanel red lipstick ..again I felt like screaming paisa kya Dawood bhai dega.. There were also ‘cheaper’ options. One article said, “10 tips to spend V-day at home”. It said “change the curtains of your house to red, change the wallpaper to a love-themed red with hearts, put a new red bed cover….I stopped reading midway.

Throughout my growing up days, Bollywood taught us “Pyaar kiya nahi jata, ho jata hai”. Shahrukh was the chief propagandist of this slogan, followed by Amir, Salman, Saif, Sahid and even Sunny Deol. So, I always presumed love will happen and till date, I am hoping that eventually one day love will happen. How, when, where and with whom is inconsequential because Bollywood said when love happens “kuch kuch hota hain”. Now what falls within the scope of this “Kuch Kuch” was never explained. So all of us, these Darcy and Vronsky fantasising women kept waiting for this “kuch kuch” to happen and for many of us marriage, kids, in-laws, kid’s school admission, promotion and probably kid’s marriage also happened but this “kuch kuch” never happened. We never met the Tall, Dark, Handsome fellow from the Mills and Boons series and kept waiting and waiting.

Then comes 21st century with all new brands and tells us that for this “kuch kuch” to happen you have to do kuch kuch things like flying to Paris or wearing a Prada two-piece swimsuit.

While I am struggling with kuch kuch others came up with #couplegoals and trust me I am trying hard to understand what it means. I would be highly obliged if you explain this hashtag to me. Does #couplegoals mean the common goal that a couple has or is it the goal that one couple is setting for other couples?

A friend of mine bought his wife Mac makeup set on V-day and his wife posted the image with #couplegoals, so I was wondering did this couple had this as a goal to buy Mac makeup set or are they setting an example that on V-day other couples should also buy Mac. I am honestly confused. Make-up is traditionally used by women so buying make-up ideally would have been the goal of the wife or is it such they both use Mac. I googled and saw few images of #couplegoals and that confused me further. Grrrrrr!!! why am I so dumb and challenged and outdated??? I should be scrapped and thrown to a scrap yard as old junk.

Image courtesy: Google

Image Courtesy: Google Images

Our generation is so stressed out that even “love” is something that is making us stressed, So much pressure on all of us to get that “perfect” love. We want to find a partner, turn them into some kind of a trophy and show our love to the whole world. However, my question is how much love do we “feel”? How much love can we feel so that we stop bothering about everything else? Love should make us feel secure, comfortable and at peace with ourselves. On the contrary, love is making us restless and anxious. We are constantly under the pressure to ‘perform’, to look good, to behave like a perfect couple. The insecurities of whether he/she would call me? Was I looking good enough? Did they like my gift? How many likes would our couple picture get?

‘Love’ and ‘Romance’ have been a complicated subject since ages however now it has become even more complicated because somehow we do not know what we want from a relationship. We no more concentrate or nurture. I believe a true relationship should be surreal and spiritual. They should make you feel complete without expecting anything in return.

If you have ever read the “puja” or “prem” episodes of Tagore’s poetry you would understand what I mean. Even during the bhakti movement we saw how they explained the true essence of ‘love’. Think of the songs of Meera or Kabir. They talk about love with God, love with yourself and love without the expectation of being loved back. There should be no stress involved in love.

I feel the best form of love is when there is no destination to arrive. A free-flowing relationship where there is no compulsion of commitment or performance. A love that would bring a smile on your face even without a red rose or a box of chocolates. A love that would help you connect with your inner self. A love that would make you feel happy and content. Alas!! That love is like a unicorn but those who seek it they get it. It starts with self-love.

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43 thoughts on “#CoupleGoals- What is That?”

Paisa kaun dega…is the most valid question. Pyaar hai to hai aur nahin hai to nahin hai. Then how will it make a difference if you climb up the Eiffel Tower or Mount Everest to show your love and have dinner? Couple goals are amusing to me too and all those photographs in this post? Do they make sense? I understand there is unconditional love out there in the world and so is the Kuch Kuch part but for most of us mortals here…I sincerely doubt. For now, D is the only person in love with me. He murmurs (quite audibly) while he is asleep and I have heard him several times saying – I love you, Mummy. On Valentine’s Day I logged out of all social media to read the book Eleanor and Park. D, that day, after half an hour of returning from school, wished me -Happy Valentine’s Day Mummy. I asked him how and what did he know about it and he told me he learned it from the newspaper and he knows nothing about it 😀

I think age is catching up with me..I do not understand half of the things on Instagram and elsewhere..I think I was not lucky enough to feel any of these..or probably I was too honest to fake any feeling..
Just like D. My son also gives me unconditional love and I enjoy that love. Very soon I know his friends and then girlfriend would replace me..till then let me just cherish his love.
Newspaper is a menace these days..the supplementary page of TOi almost feels like Greek and Latin to me..half the things I do not understand..and I seriously feel #FOMO 😂😂😂
Mera Himalaya jaane ka din aa Gaya hai Anamika..😪

I did away with TOI last year. It is one crap for a newspaper. I get Deccan Herald which I can be okay with when D opens it up to scan the headlines. Absolutely no Bollywood is there in it. But on 14th Feb, my paper wala wanted us to have TOI so he delivered that one and I wasn’t happy.

I think this is THE BEST posts on V Day and love that I have read in this past week, Balaka!
How true… Just the love that does not expect anything, is unconditional and nurturing is the love we all should value. Not the love which requires us to wear a Prada gown and diamonds and flown to Paris for a romantic dinner date… Yaar, paisa kaun dega???

It is indeed the best, Balaka.. With a dash of humour coupled with some serious contemplation on love and life -you don’t come across such posts everyday! Please go ahead and jump on your chair, my dear! 👍👍👍😅

I loved your post Balaka. Seriously I too appear a geek amid people posting all their Valentine day celebrations on social media. People spend a bomb on all the paraphernalia related to the celebrations. Maybe I belong to the old school where love is intimate and personal, where it is shows care and respect, just a touch or look says it all💟

As you said love is complicated and its even more now. I agree there is more show off these days and the true essence of love is lost somewhere in all this. Its better left as a mystery as it all depends on the person who is in love. 🙂

Exactly, Paisa kaun dega? Pick up any glossy these days and you see brands that are promoted there are ones that a common man can hardly afford. I was hooked to this post till the end nodding away to each point that you stated. The essence of love is disappearing in the chaos of the hastag market!

Exactly, Paisa kaun dega? Pick up any glossy these days and you see brands that are promoted there are ones that a common man can hardly afford. I was hooked to this post till the end nodding away to each point that you stated. The essence of love is disappearing in the chaos of the hashtag market!

I have had this thought not once but many times over that I am and am certain that you too (as are many others like us) who are misfits in today’s time and age. Your post reminded me once again about all the drama and natakbaji around “love” which comes in our face every year through social media and the print media about this need to “show” the world the love couples feel for each other and how they are on the same page with each other…i.e., couple goals, you know, how they are looking at the same thing funnily enough. Everyone these days feels the need to exhibit their possessions and relationships fall in the same category. All the drama about posting pictures, updates, hashtags are part of the need to project things to the world because sadly enough love has nothing to do with that quiet reassurance and comfort you’ve mentioned in your post that one feels for another. I feel I’ve crossed the stage to even get upset or angry with such PDAs and it no longer bothers what others do or say. It is funny though when you see those red hearts everywhere as V-Day approaches. All that forced show of love tells me how fake and phony life is getting to be and leaves me wondering what kind of a world are we leaving behind for the kids of today who are going to be adults tomorrow?

People are insecure..they just want to put everything as an exhibit to stay in the race..We can be two diverse individual and yet can feel love. It is not mandatory to be on the same page and show how much love we have.. Jaanina Mituldi ami bodhhay buri haye gechi..eisab adekhla nyakami dekhe simply ga jole..

It is definitely lauv 😀 Your posts never fail to bring a whiff of nostalgia for me. Those Mills & Boons days, hiding the books in the Great School Atlas, underlining some special lines with a pencil for convenience of some friends who didn’t want to take the pain of reading the whole book 😀
Cuplegoals hashtag dekhechhi…kichhu bujhini, bojhaar chesTa-o korini 😦 aamar buddhi kawm, eTa mene niyechhi

Ei chhobigulo toh bhoyanok! If I show my husband these pictures as #couplegoals, I doubt how long we’ll continue as a couple 😛

I could relate with your post. My views on V day is simple. it’s a commercial event. The media and brands are trying to convince you to let your purse loosen up and show your love. That’s the reason we see articles suggesting you to buy expensive products, experiential ideas…..
It’s best to focus on what you both feel right about…read those articles but don’t let them rule your life. These will only add stress to our lives and relationships.

What a fun read, Balaka! All these pointless goals at the expense of us mere mortals ‘ignorant looks’ and pockets going for an empty look. I started seeing #couplegoals only recently and ignored it as one of those words which I would never understand. What’s sad is people like me also will feel the necessity of using #couplegoals just so they don’t want to look like left out.

The best definition I’ve found (and probably the ORIGINAL meaning), is “couples who are seen as best friends AND lovers” – but then the hashtag, as all popular hashtags do, got overused, probably with the help of apps to raise your popularity on Instagram, at which point Marketers went, “Ohh, how can we ride on the coattails of THIS sh**?” and ruined it. 😉

You know, kind of like how every holiday but Thanksgiving was either created or ruined by Hallmark. (Kidding, Hallmark – keep up the good work, but do leave Thanksgiving out of it.)

What a wonderful post & glad to know there are many sailing in the same boat like mine. Why is there performance & social media anxiety among couples I’m clueless, i mean for whom, where is scorecard… Lovely post not a single word to be missed.