Tag Archives: fitness

Far too many Americans are not engaged in a physical activity on a weekly basis. There are people all over the world who do not exercise or care to follow a healthy diet. One of the biggest complaints and excuses I hear is that exercise is hard workout and eating healthy is boring. This way of thinking is not how you live an activated life. Living without exercise or healthy eating is a shortcut to an early death, a life of suffering, a life of sickness and dis-ease, and possibly unhappiness.

Exercise boosts your mind and body and makes you feel better.

Eating healthy is awesome and makes the body healthier and more efficient, which leads to more energy and an increased happiness.

There is absolutely no excuse for not exercising and eating well.

It’s childish.

It’s a shame.

It’s disrespectful to your body.

We don’t like hearing the word “fat”.

We don’t like hearing people tell us to move more and eat better and to put the fast food down.

The truth hurts and we often feel powerless.

We believe we can’t take control of our lives and we believe that we’re stuck in the routine we created.

Bullshit.

You can change the course of your life and the health of your body right now.

Here are 12 ways to Activate your Life through fitness and nutrition… right now!

1. Stop eating Fast Food.

It’s a given. You eat fast food, you eat too many calories and store those calories as fat. Cut it out.

2. Drink More Water.

It’s the essence of life. The matter that creates all of life and everything we are. Without it, we die.

If you drink a glass of water a day, you need to up it to three, then four, then five, and keep going.

3. Move More

Daily exercise is important. Even a five or ten minute workout is better than nothing.

You have the time. Set it aside and do it.

No more excuses. No more complaining. Just exercise.

4. Eat More Vegetables

Today, eat a salad. If you don’t eat vegetables, you’re being a baby.

Veggies are filled with antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals we need to function properly.

As I drove to the gym with my kids to get there an hour before my next scheduled class, I thought about the workout ahead. My mind was racing with numbers. How many sets of squats, what weight, how many reps was I going to do. Let’s do eight, no I’m exhausted let’s do three, no three isn’t enough, I’m going for five. Then I thought about the sled drags, the pull-ups, the dips, and how many reps I would do. When I arrived, I was mentally exhausted from thinking so much, all while trying to listen to a Joe Rogan Podcast episode.

The mind went on and on trying to get my body to accept something less than it’s capable of. We all have these thoughts. Many of the members of my gym never realize how strong and able they are until I make them show me. For me, it’s different though. I don’t have a coach with me. My two kids are running around and I need to be quick. The motivation to move doesn’t come easy.

There are definitely days I let the inner bitch win. It sucks, but it happens. Do I regret it or dwell on it? No, I just pick up the pieces the next time and get rolling. On the days where I need to motivate myself to lift heavy, when I’m sore or exhausted, I just think about the men and women in the gym and how hard they work. I stand there in front of them telling them what to do and they do it. If they can, I sure as hell can. Of course I need to be motivated. Some days I’ll see my daughter sitting down on the big blue mat with her gorgeous eyes and beautiful smile fixated on Daddy. She’s watching me. She wants to see what I do. If I quit, she’ll remember that Daddy didn’t do it. If I give it my best, she’ll see me try hard and remember that Daddy worked hard. That’s all the motivation I need to push beyond my mind’s limits.

When you feel stuck and you don’t have motivation to exercise or eat well, it’s often not a simple fix but it requires some work. We don’t like hearing that word. Work is seen in today’s world as something that is hard, boring, a nuisance, a hassle, and more. We’ve become comfortable in our day to day lives and while we work our nine to fives, anything before or after that is a big no-no. Many people race home from work to eat dinner and then unplug. This is excellent for the mind but when it’s everyday, it’s a death trap.

Our minds and bodies are physically, mentally, and emotionally drained throughout the day. This is why exercise first thing in the morning is a great idea. Once we are zapped for our mental and physical energy through the demands of work, family, and social media, we don’t have much left. Getting to move in the gym seems like “hard work” and we refuse to sweat, to get sore, and to feel “pain”.

I used to be the same way. The couch is my best friend and every chance I get to veg out, I will, but most of the times, I earned it. The lack of movement and physical effort in our country is ridiculous and something that requires attention. It’s a shame to go through life without testing the limits of physical strength and mental toughness.

The problem is, people are not motivated to give it one hundred percent. This goes right back to the demands of our jobs, families, and more but when you see other people busier than you who working out hard, in shape, eating well, you have to question what’s going on. It’s not the demands of our lives, it’s our mindsets and the only way to ever break out of a slump and get motivated to live activated is by changing our mindset.

The mind will naturally try to talk you out of exercise. The negative thoughts and feelings will pile up and crush any sign of hope when we continue to allow it. How many times have you said you were going to workout tonight and then when it got closer to the time, the mind started saying things like “I’m tired.” “Tomorrow instead.” “I just don’t want to feel the burn..” and more?

Ninety nine percent of the time, starting a workout sucks. The heart is comfortable, the muscles at ease, the lungs relaxed. Getting the machine running is much like warming up a car in the winter. You start it, turn the heat on, and let it warm up. The body works almost the same way. When you begin, you warm-up. You get the joints moving, the heart rate slowly increases, blood starts pumping faster, the breathing changes, and then before you know it, you’re warm and ready for exercise. You started. The hardest part is over.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, it’s never easy to get moving and jumping into a hard workout. But the more we do it, the better we’ll feel and when we start off the workout right, it feels better. The hardest part of working out is showing up. When you show up, you already won. The mind is ready, the body is as well. When you fight yourself in your mind with the thoughts of skipping or the thoughts of difficulty, you’re exhausting yourself and only making it harder for you to show up. Next time, shower the mind with positive thoughts such as “I did it before I can do it again.” “I know I’m capable.” “I’m going to feel a hundred times better once I’m done.” “It’s only thirty minutes!”

Over the past seven or eight years I have lost hundreds of pounds. They come on and they burn off. It’s a roller coaster ride. I easily put weight on and if I put a slight effort into it, I lose weight easily. I’m addicted to junk food and fight the cravings daily. My favorite being tortilla chips and salsa. I love Italian food, especially parmigiana foods. Trail mix is the one food I eat regularly that’s junk food but I tell myself it’s cool because there are nuts in it and raisins. Right. Junk food, period.

Before I started to get in shape I would eat all kinds of fast food everyday. Burger King, Wendy’s, Subs, and more. It got me to a point where I hated the way I looked and I knew I was unhealthy. I felt it. During the past few years as a strength coach and gym owner I can tell you that I haven’t been in the best shape of my life, yet. At the moment I’m feeling great. I’m leaner than I always used to be, I’m stronger and more endurance and I regularly work out. It wasn’t always that way.

A few years ago in the biggest growing stretch of my newly formed business, I was fat. People came to my gym to lose ten pounds in twenty one days as I said they probably could, and coach was a fat ass. Depression could have been a culprit but the blame goes right to one thing, myself. I chose to grab the fries, the milkshakes, the chips, and the shitty foods. Nobody made me eat it.

One day my buddy told me I should get my ass in gear and look the part. He was right.

Put the f**king cookie down, I said to myself.

I still enjoy crap food. I just finished a bag of Tostitos and had a nice burger last weekend. The difference comes from two things, one I eat better ninety percent of the time and two, I move more. I see many people struggle with their weight at the gym. They come, they train, and still they don’t get results.

It’s their nutrition. Simple as pie, but more involved than simply putting the f**king cookie down.

There is a lot of psychological issues and emotional attachments with food that most likely need to be addressed sitting across from a therapist, not a personal trainer. I know I have attachments with food. Mention Mom and I get excited about mashed potatoes and some of her great home cooked meals. Mention wrestling and I grab chips and salsa like I used to when I was a kid, watching Monday Night Raw and Nitro with my brother from another mother.

These attachments need to be fought and often the disturbance such battle creates in regards to mental and emotional well-being, can be hard and should be done in therapy.

But if you don’t have time for therapy and want to get help right now, just put down that f**king cookie and think about it before you eat it. I’ll often find myself grabbing a rice cake and the peanut butter jar, ready to slop a massive spoonful on the rice cake. I catch myself and remember the calories in the peanut butter and tell myself to stop being a little child. I used to scoop a huge spoonful of peanut butter out of the jar, press down the middle of the spoonful and pour hershey’s chocolate syrup in it. Amazing, but something a baby would do, not an adult.

If you know you have a problem with food, you need to address it and be mindful of it. You need to be ready to fight cravings, just like a drug addict trying to recover. It’s that hard and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. But, once you win a few battles, you’ll be stronger mentally and make better decisions.

Next time you whine about not being able to lose weight, ask yourself how well you’re eating. Ask yourself where you are going wrong or what shortcuts you hope you can take. Look and see where you have hard times battling food and develop a plan to attack and win. Next time you go for that cookie, remember to put it f**king down and grab something healthier.

In the gym it was Eight in the morning. I got my kids in, grabbed my coffee and water and proceeded to the squat rack. A few leg swings, deep squats, hip mobility movements, bird dogs, and squat jumps and I was ready to go. Training time. Some days it’s comes good, some days it’s a fight. Most days a little built up energy and anger helps me get through the movements. Most of the time I’m training the kids are wild. They run around the gym, play with the jump ropes, grab the five pound weights and do heavy carries, mimic the burpees I do, or play with the cars I have. Sometimes my daughter puts on the boxing gloves and goes to town on the heavy bag.

Recently I started pushing a little harder during the workouts. It’s eight o’clock and I have class at nine. I need to get done before people start showing up. It’s fascinating to see how little one must truly rest. I used to see guys resting three, four, or five minutes after doing a sub maximal load movement like it was a heavy deadlift and they needed to fully recharge. My rest periods are thirty seconds. Some times less. First I do the main movement whether it’s squats or deadlifts and then I go into the accessory work. I super set everything. It helps me get done, keeps the heart pumping, and by the time I finish the last set I have enough time to wipe the sweat from my face and start class.

If I didn’t train before my nine o’clock class I would find every excuse in the book to skip it. I’ve learned to get moving when the mind doesn’t want to. The days I train I am up at four in the morning. I usually don’t roll out of bed for twenty minutes and hate getting started. The lack of sleep has caught up with me and anyone who says sleep is for pussies is an asshole. Sleep is crucial and when you don’t get enough, you miss it. I get to the gym to open up for my five o’clock class and by the time I’m done with the early morning sessions, I’m shot. I want my bed, I want to close my eyes, I want more sleep. I get home and grab a smoothie and coffee and the kids and head right back for my time.

Lifting weights is more than physical appearance or strength. It’s like a drug. The body creates “feel good” hormones and the negative thoughts fade away. There’s nothing like testing your body through physical movement and resistance. Heavy squats bring more than physical strength. They bring mental toughness and feelings of accomplishment. Heavy carries, sled drags, pull-ups, and dips build muscle, strength, and they conquer the inner bitch in the mind that tries to settle for comfort. When the training starts to feel easy, you know you’re drifting into the comfort zone and convenience. It’s time to change a thing or two.

Training with the kids in the gym is fun but at times ridiculous. When your less than two year old walks under the bar of your heavy squats when in the deep position you kind of freak out a little. What if he grabs my leg? What if the plates slide off since I don’t clip them when training alone? But when he gets close it’s a surge of Adrenaline. I love having my kids in the gym with me. They watch me test myself three times or more a week. They see me put my body through the stress of resistance training. They hear me grunt, curse, sweat, and scream. They see me breathe heavily and give it one more shot. Then they get to watch me work, like the old days when men would bring their sons to the field, the farm, the shop, the railway, or the mines. Kids used to see their fathers bust their ass and I’m grateful mine see it almost everyday. They see me crush weakness and build strength. They see me fight the inner bitch. They see me act with courage and fight fear as I add more weight. Then they see me help other people. I couldn’t ask for anything more. At times it’s crazy but looking at the big picture, it’s beautiful.

Yesterday I was home with my kids. It was a rough day. They were fired up and acting like it was a full moon. For most of the day I was making sure they didn’t kill each other or jump through a window. The noise was like a packed nightclub. My energy and motivation was sucked right out of my eye sockets.

I wanted to make a million excuses to make my day easier.

But then I remembered that nothing good ever comes from being a little bitch.

The battle on the inside, the one that goes something like this “I’m going to skip my workout today and go harder tomorrow.”, we face each day is a test of our strength, our fortitude, our passion, and our discipline. While I could have used the exhausting day with the kids as an excuse to skip my workout, I decided to punch the inner bitch right in the teeth.

I got to my gym an hour before scheduled classes. Plenty of time for me to hit the heavy bag and release some of the primal aggression that was building up inside from sitting around the house most of the day. I wrapped my hands up and set the round timer on my phone. Five rounds of five minutes.

Before this, I never did more than three rounds of five minutes.

Today, the inner bitch was going to taught a lesson.

By the way- if you don’t know the term “Inner Bitch”, it’s something comedian and UFC announcer Joe Rogan likes to call the ego fight within, like what Steven Pressfield calls “resistance”.

When I started the workout, I was not in it. There was no fuel to add to the fire. There was no motivation like after you watch a Rocky movie and there was no desire to even hit the bag. As you can bet, my punches were soft and weak. I looked like a chump.

But something happened that happens when you begin to move and “warm-up”. You get into it. You begin to feel it and you begin to enjoy it. My workout ended up being great. I held nothing back and released a lot of built up rage and fought the demons we call the “inner bitch”.

How do you battle the Inner Bitch?

Everybody is going to tackle it differently and everybody has a different inner bitch for different areas in life.

It could be your job. Maybe you hate going to work and you do the absolute bare minimum, enough to not get fired. Well that’s lazy and pathetic. If you don’t like your job, don’t fuck someone else over by working like a bum. I did that and it’s embarrassing. Simply find a new job or fight the inner bitch and do the very best you can do.

Maybe your relationship requires a lot of your time and energy and needs work to improve. Instead of withdrawing and not giving yourself fully, suck it up and figure out a way to either leave or make it better.

The “inner bitch” is the voice inside that says “Not now, later.” or “I’ll get to it one day.” and then you don’t do it and the inner bitch wins.

If you want to win, you need to fight.. everyday!

Battling the inner bitch takes effort, takes purpose, and takes guts. It takes responsibility and some real hard truths. You take your life and put it on the surgeon’s table and get to work. Remove the unhealthy parts, stitch up the damage, and tell yourself the diagnosis. It’s not easy to take a look at your life subjectively and examine yourself. We often try to hide the truth and lie about what we really see.

We settle and hide behind comfort.

You’ll never win the battle without starting at the truth. Begin the fight by telling the truth and then lace up your boots, grab your sword, and go out swinging.

For starters, let’s just get this out now… If you’re a pussy you need to wake the fuck up. There is much going on in the world today that you are not aware of and in order to live your best life, be happy, and in control… You need to wake up and smell the roses. Men, we need to wake up and gain control of our lives and march forward through progress with confidence and self-esteem. As a child, you may or may not have learned what it means to be a man. I’ll admit, my life as a grown man has been very challenging and a lot of the issues I’ve gone through probably could have been avoided had I learned a few things about life. My problem was I hid from everything because I didn’t want confrontation, difficulty, and stress. That was a mistake and many of the choices I’ve made have been mistakes. You probably made a few mistakes as well and you probably had to overcome so extremely difficult situations. One problem I see around me is that men are not trying. Their being big babies, afraid of fighting for what they believe in, afraid of standing up for themselves. Men are being lazy wimps. They’re allowing their women to pussy whip them. Men are hiding from adversity and they’re not putting in the work where they need to. If you think everything is against you, like there is no hope for a successful future, like the world owes you something, like you’ll never reach the level of life you want to reach, then you’re lying to yourself and not telling the truth is the first mistake many men make. A great man taught me that all progress starts with the truth and if you don’t want progress in your life, if you don’t want a better life (not sure why you’re reading this), then stop now and go play Call of Duty.

Men need to stop the political correctness and whining. Men need to release the true primal masculine energy that is within us all. Soft dicks don’t get any action and if you’re not hard as a steel pipe than these five things are going to serve you well. Follow the advice. It’s game and life changing.

Today, we’ve gone way too far from the world we once lived in. When teepees and dirt floors were the norm. Fuck that’s a long time ago and now we have iPhones and cool ass cars made of debt. We have microwave ovens and suits that cost as much as buffalo. Some cost more. That right there is pansy ass shit. I don’t care if you think you’re the most masculine and alpha male around, if your suit costs more than a few hundred bucks.. you’re a silly dick.

There is a great need in the world today for the endangered alpha male to rise back up and stake claim in what is rightfully theirs. Of course we’ll never go back to living the primitive life but since it’s a part of our DNA, it’s important to make it a part of your life. This isn’t a once a year thing or a some of the time thing. It’s life. As in wake your ass up and do this shit often.

Five things you should do for a better life:

1. Fight/Wrestle

Within every man there is a beast that is caged and waiting while drooling through the teeth for a moment to pounce on it’s victim. More on pouncing in a bit. But, there is a deeply suppressed aggressive beast that idly sits inside of every man on Earth. This isn’t good for the everyday life of sitting in the office or listening to Prince during the horrible rush hour commute.

This suppressed aggressive energy is killing you. Literally killing you slowly. When there is an energy within the body that’s need releasing, like sexual energy, and that release is blocked or backed up, suppressed by life, it creates tension and dis-ease within the body. Every man would do themselves wise to release this aggressive energy.

One of the best ways is through fighting or wrestling or rough housing. We did it all the time as kids. Especially if you had brothers. We’d jump off the fucking pool ladder like we were Superfly Sunaka or Macho Man and drop elbows all day. We’d run on the football field (the backyard) and just wait to be tackled to the ground. Headlocks and chokeholds were abundant in the locker room or just for shits and giggles. We released this energy like animals do. Ever watch a puppy or bear cubs? They fight all the time.

Mature male animals do this too. They fight for territory and they fight for food and they fight for pussy. Why do we have to stop this as adults? We don’t. And we shouldn’t. During hunter gatherer times we had to kill shit with our hands. We had to wrestle off intruders looking to rape our women and steal our supplies. It’s built in us.

Don’t suppress your fighting instinct and the need for aggressive release. Try doing some MMA, Jiu Jitsu, Wrestling, Kickboxing, Mauy Thai, or Boxing. Grab a punching bag and hang it in your garage. Kick the shit out of it and scream while you do it.

2. Exercise

You’re a grown ass adult. You’re a man and maybe a man of the house with a woman and children. You’re not a kid anymore and you KNOW it’s important to exercise and to move. Why do we even need to say this? Exercise should be something you get hard over. Exercise should be something that is not fucking negotiable in your daily routine.

Nothing makes your life better than a good old fashioned workout. The release of chemicals and the good shit happening inside your MIND and body is going to make your essence stronger and your alphaness shoot through the roof. How can you even think about not doing some kind of training?

You are strong. You are meant to be strong. It’s your responsibility to be strong. Would you rather be a weak bitch or a strong motherfucker when it came time to fight for your life? Would your woman rather hold arms that are tight and strong or arms that she can use to clean the spinach out of her teeth?

Computer warriors and office junkies need to understand something- being strong is sexy as fuck.

When was the last time you read a book about your mind and how it works? What about a book about spirituality? When was the last time you asked yourself what you’re passionate about? How about happiness? Are you in control of that or do outside circumstances dictate how you feel?

I used to be miserable. Angry and unfucking happy to the point I shriveled up on a couch like death had stroked my shoulders and my life plummeted to rock bottom. I let outside circumstances tell me how to feel, what to think, what to do.. unaware and not alive.

Becoming awake and alive means you take control of everything. Your mind gets fed what it needs to be strong. Your body gets moved and trained in primal and aggression releasing ways. Your sex life is controlled not by the woman in your life but your own voice, your own energy, you take the lead and whisk her away never asking but instead giving. Your passion is used for the greater good of humankind and you live purposefully, always improving your situation and loving each minute of it. Your spiritual side is conscious and you make it a point to own your beliefs but you keep it at home. Your happiness is something you choose. Your happiness is in your hands and you realize it and let it shine forward to others around you.

4. Eat Good Food

Again, you’re an adult. Eat like it. Living life through fast food and partying hard every week is NOT going to bring you a better life. A grown ass man eats what he knows he should eat. I am a firm believer that each of us knows and understands exactly what we should be eating. This isn’t ten year old Timmy at Mommy’s dinner table time. This is grown man life and the food you put in your body matters.

It matters to your heart, your mind, your cock, your lover, your kids, and your happiness. Fueling yourself with garbage is a shortcut to a limp dick, a bad heart, a clouded mind, and a non-existent sex life. No further explanation needed. Eat like a man.

5. Sex

No shit sex will give you a better life but there’s a problem. Too many men are in it for themselves. We’ve grown up with Kelly Bundy, Spice TV, free internet porn, and Playboy magazine. You’ve jerked it way too much to be fully in touch with your sexual energy. When it comes time to make love in the bedroom, you’re thrusting for ejaculation and you’re not even aware of the energy created between two people, not even aware of the enormous power a well fucked woman will give you willingly in your life. There’s a rule.. she comes first. If she doesn’t, pack your shit up and get out.

If you want more sex, better sex, and more fulfilling sex then treat her like a sex goddess. Inside of every woman, whether she makes excuses like “I’m tired” or “Maybe tomorrow”, is a woman dripping to be fucked like the goddess she is. She’s waiting for you or maybe some other man to twist her panties and whisk her away into the world of orgasmic pleasure. Sex is not about pumping and dumping.

There used to be a disease in the medical dictionary called Hysteria. It was diagnosed to women who were sexually frustrated. A doctor, probably some alpha male, would masturbate her to release that frustration and blockage of sexual energy. Men were not cutting it. They were in it for themselves.

Remember the rule. She comes first. Learn how to make the act of sex an act of shared joy, pleasure, and connection.

This is probably one of the most aggressive posts that I ever wrote, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is men these days are being little children who are afraid of hard work and facing the tough conversations. We’re being told to control ourselves and lashed at when something we say isn’t politically correct. Men are being selfish with childish desires and they’re not embracing the true power within. Men are being pushed around and forced to act confined. We have our values misaligned and our ideas suffocated by fears. Men need to take a stand and claim ownership over their lives, their choices, their actions, and bring to their families, friends, and places of employment the true masculine energy within that’s needed for a better society. Stop hiding with your tail tucked away. It’s time to shine.

As a gym owner and a personal trainer I have seen the magic of fitness and the life changes that come with getting the body moving. With today’s way of living, it’s easy to forget about exercise and getting involved in a routine. Many people push exercise aside as something they don’t need to, a waste of time, or because of laziness. Some of the most profitable and widely sold prescription drugs are antidepressants. We’re caught in a lifestyle that is not natural. As hunter-gatherers and foragers, sitting behind a desk and not having to exert much energy during the day, we’re slowly killing ourselves with our “new” way of life.

Technology has smacked our senses silly and the routines of life are far away from how they should be. It’s pretty safe to say that we’re never going back to walking for many miles each day to find food, sharing our kill or baskets of fruit and vegetables with each other, and living a nomadic life.

But if we continue with the trends of fast food, poor food supply, water that is polluted, watching television for many hours, and moving away from movement, we’re going to be in serious trouble.

That is where fitness comes into the picture. Across the country millions of men and women are exercising in daily routines, following better nutritional programs than the average American, and changing their life through fitness.

Millions are ditching the drugs and picking up kettlebells. An intense 10 or 15 minute workout can be the equivalent of taking one of the best-selling antidepressants. Farm raised meat, or naturally killed game, and organic foods are rising in stock. More and more people are pushing away boxed foods, canned foods, mass-produced and killed meats, as we should.

There is magic behind a workout. There is even more magic behind a healthy dish for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

As a coach I have helped several people who were depressed, angry, and simply upset with how they let their life go and by how out of shape they were. Nobody likes feeling out of shape. Even the most food addicted obese person doesn’t enjoy the feeling of heavy breathing and discomfort the extra weight causes. It’s not natural and that is why we often fall into depression or have major bouts of anxiety, anger, and sadness.

Exercise has been proven to help reduce the risk of diseases that are abundant in society. Heart disease, cancer, osteoporosis, and diabetes to name a few. Exercise also releases what Joe Rogan likes to call either his “inner bitch” or “monkey energy”. As animals and primates, one of the biggest traits we have carried through the millions of years of evolution is the animal instinct to move. Remember, as hunter gatherers and foragers we spent most of the day moving, walking, jumping, climbing, and running. Remove those natural tendencies from our lives and we’re more susceptible to mental, emotional, and physical disturbances.

When we keep our primal energy stored within, it manifests as anger, depression, cancer, gout, ulcers, stomach and digestive problems, and more. The life changing magic of fitness can probably be dialed into the fact that we need movement, and the releasing of primal energy.

If you feel like you don’t need to exercise or move to have a healthy and happy life, I beg to differ. The members of my gym all notice this change almost immediately. If you want to feel better, happier, and live a healthier life, start moving somehow every day. The life changing magic of fitness will take your mind and body into a whole new world.

Today I am entering a new world of fighting my fear. Today I am accepting that I know nothing, that I am a newbie, and that I am going to be taken for a ride I know nothing about. Today I am leaning into my fear and taking action on a goal I set for myself. I am entering a new world to me, the world of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I have never trained in any form of jiu-jitsu, wrestling, and I haven’t taken a martial art class since I was 13. Right now in my life I am at a point where I need to be challenged mentally and physically beyond the world of fitness, business, writing, and fatherhood. I am taking my self-improvement to a new arena and I admit, I am scared.

This is how many people feel when they first sign up for a fitness class or decide to get in shape. They have no idea what to expect and their minds and body are filled with fear. Many people never take the first step out of fear. They allow the fear in their mind to block their journey. Those fears are not real except that they dwell in the mind. It’s taken me several weeks to finally push the go button and as I’ve talked the talk, now I must walk the walk and experience this new world.

Leaning into my fear was the only way I would ever make the appointment and head to the location of this new training. I sat here pondering what it would be like, I listened to my fear, my body, my mind, other people, and I closed the browser window several times before entering my information to set up an appointment. It’s crazy how a simple thought with a desire to improve and learn can be fed with fear and nearly stop the momentum from moving forward. My ego fed my mind thoughts of injury, not knowing what I was doing, embarrassment, and getting my ass kicked. These thoughts and the fear it created wasn’t enough to ultimately stop me from taking the first step.

I leaned into my fears and accepted their presence, and my inner being, my spirit, my true self is strong enough to decide to take action. When starting something new, when creating change in life, it’s easy to have those feelings of embarrassment while fearing the unknown. Only you have the power to move beyond the barricades you set before yourself. Only you can take that first step. It starts with leaning in and charging ahead with the belief that anything is possible, as long as you try.

Our biggest enemy is the voice inside of our head. The voice in our head can take you to rock bottom. There are days when that voice has you feeling like a million dollars and then there are days, weeks, months, and often years where that voice can tie a rope around your ankles and drag you through dog shit. When things are not going well in your life, ask what the chatter in your mind is focused upon. We often struggle with unnecessary pain and emotions because we stay stuck in a negative state of mind. When things are not going well the worst idea you can have is to think life isn’t going well. Whether or not that case is true, you must find the positive in any situation or the negative will suffocate you.

Recently I was asking someone I knew what they’re grateful for and if they write in a gratitude journal at all. “What’s there to be grateful for in my life? Every sucks.” they said as an overwhelming anger and sadness rippled through my skin. I asked, “How can there be nothing in your life to be grateful about?” “You’re alive aren’t you?”

“Well, when you put it that way…” I stopped them mid sentence and went on to talk about how the only thing that matters to you, me, or anyone else is that we are alive. To be alive is the greatest gift in the world and there are people surrounding you that cherish that gift. After our brief discussion on being grateful to be alive, more and more reasons to be grateful filled the air.

“I’m grateful I have a job.”

“I’m grateful I have shelter.”

“I’m grateful I have food and water.”

See that, basic human needs that so many of us take for granted. We eat, drink, and sleep in a bed every day when those basic human needs for survival can be stolen from us at any moment of the day. We no longer have to wake up early in the morning to get to the well, retrieve water, boil it, and then bathe. We don’t have to, unless we enjoy it, go out and hunt for our meals. These things are presented to us daily. One of the reasons Americans are so fat is because this surplus in food is cheap and always supplied, when in fact, most people can go a few days without eating a meal and survive just fine.

Next time you think life isn’t going well, look to see where your bed is, what’s in the refrigerator and what your work schedule looks like. The reason I mention gratitude and our basic human needs is because beyond the simplicity of our survival with food, water, shelter, everything else is all a manifestation of your ego. Most of us having parents or grandparents who thrived in the industrial revolution have come to the point where we feel entitled to more. The American dream was born and now it’s clockwork for so many people. I write about this often- how we have come to believe that as children it’s our duty to get good grades, to go to college, find a decent job, get married, buy a house, have children, and possibly save money for retirement. The problem is that now you believe you’re entitled to these things and when you don’t get them as easy as it may seem for other people, you begin to run and hide, screaming “Things aren’t going well in my life.”

The truth is, they are going well, as we established in the beginning of this post, you’re alive. The rest of those materialistic items or passed down dreams of a quality of life are all ego based desires and really mean nothing to your life. Chase happiness by trampling others on Black Friday and stumble across the short end of the stick. Pursue happiness by finding more about yourself through quiet introspection or meditation and you’ll see the faults you believe you experience are simply mundane distractions of your true life, true happiness.

Staying motivated when things aren’t going well is not easy when your life is led by ego and not trueness. I can be your best example of this. As a writer, a strength coach, father and husband, it’s hard to control my expectations of reality. As a very creative person with a lot of wishes, dreams, and goals, it’s hard to find time for all of those actions and pursuits. Some days, I expect to sit down and get work done when my little half pigtailed beauty of a daughter rushes into the room which I work from screaming “Daddy!! Daddy!! Uppp!! Uppie!!” and my work stops as I reach down and bring the greatest joy in my life closer to my heart. Now, I stop and embrace the amazing beauty of having a small child long for your attention and to simply sit on your lap. Before, I would react with anger in words such as “How the fuck am I supposed to get something done? I’ll NEVER finish this thing I’m working on.” This silly thing I’m working on will feed my family but in that one moment in which being present is greater than any outcome, I stop and enjoy it before she quickly rushes off to the next wonderful delight. It was not easy to get to that point. Many moments of ego and outbursts resulting in hurt feelings and unwanted arguments could have been avoided, but through those experiences I’ve learned presence, awareness, mindfulness, and having no expectations eased the mind and allowed me to control the ego.

The ego which generates much of society’s unhappiness needs to be controlled and that could be our real life purpose. Staying motivated when things aren’t going well can be done through work. Through meditation, awareness practice, being mindful of our actions and reactions, and by lowering our expectations. The greatest lesson for our future generations is the lesson of not allowing our ego to do our thinking. We can change the entire outcome of society and all of mankind by learning that ego desire is not the way we should think. I recently read a great book by Wayne Dyer called “Change your thoughts, change your life” and in that book Dr. Dyer gives his version of one of the greatest written pieces in the history of everything, Tao Te Ching, and he states “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”.

So while you go about life feeling like things aren’t going well and the motivation to move forward doesn’t exist, start by changing the way you look at your life. When you think and believe that your life sucks, life is going to give you that which you give it. When you think about life and see your obstacles but think and believe that you’re strong enough to overcome them, you will rise above those challenges.

Ever since I walked out beyond the status quo of the mass mentality and decided to improve my life I’ve been making my own path. Accepting nothing less but my best, my vision, my own way and no longer allowing the ways of society to influence my desired outcome. It hasn’t been easy either. I’ve lost friends, money, time, and completely shifted my entire life to begin this journey, but I’m trekking forward one day at a time.

Below are 3 ways you can start to make your own path in life and let go of the “way it should be”.

1. Create Your Own Curriculum of Study

Let’s face it. If you’re not learning you’re not growing, and growing is one of the most important things we can do to make our own path. When you begin to change your life through a series of choices and actions, you’re starting on your own path. Everybody in life has a different journey and while you may think an outcome you desire is the way to your ultimate life, it can just be a mile long moment until a choice or action completely changes your direction. For that, focusing on one area of study might not be the best bet. Developing a broad curriculum of study will help you increase your knowledge and wisdom in a variety of different areas, some that you may not feel are important at the moment, but in the future can be.

My studies lately have ranged from consciousness exploration in the isolation tank to marketing to creative writing and even Taoism. I have books on gardening, home improvement and maintenance, leadership, yoga, and much more. Each day I am learning something new that is helping me clear the way of my path in life. Find your passions, study them, and then implement what you takeaway.

2. Remove Yourself From The Status Quo

When I go to events, picnics, parties, and other functions I always see people talking about politics, the horrible job the President is doing, unfortunate events and accidents, poor luck, bad health, sore knees, increased taxes, and other gibberish that block the path in life I choose. I may seem awkward by removing myself from the small negative talk to be alone, but in fact I am walking away because I don’t want those thoughts and feelings to grab on to my purpose and slow me down.

I hardly ever watch the news, listen to news radio, read the newspaper or online articles involving current affairs, and I certainly do not allow organized religion to influence my decisions. Funny thing is, I was raised by the laws of organized religion and it didn’t lead me on my purposeful path. I’m not bashing religion or beliefs, it’s just what it taught me was not right for my own path. It could be that way for you as well.

The status quo looks at things in negative light and that is why we must remove ourselves from the mass thinking. Most people look at the isolation tank as odd, they look at spiritual journeys to faraway lands as crazy, self education and crossfit as different, and gay marriage as weird because we’ve been told to listen to “what they say” and anything else is unacceptable. Expanding our minds to understanding the things in life we’re not taught is a way to remove yourself from the status quo.

3. Question Everything

Was JFK really murdered? If he really was, was he shot by one man? What did the ancient Egyptians know about construction that we are failing to see, or hiding? Does getting a job based on your college degree mean you’ll live a successful life? Will yoga and running help you live longer? What does positive thinking do for our life? Is it worth reading this book? Does doing the work on something you won’t get paid for help you get paid later in life? What can I remove from my life and throw away?

Why do I exist? What is my purpose? What am I passionate about?

This might seem insane, and again that’s status quo thinking, but the fact is we’re being lied to about a lot of stuff in life and some of our actions are the result of subliminal programming we’ve received through daily interactions with society. Several years ago there were studies showing how Saturated Fats were bad for your heart. Now, scientists are saying more fat is better. Studies come and go and results change, opinions change, and so does influence. How many studies are backed by different groups with a different agenda that have an impact on the results?

To make your own path in life you need to Question EVERYTHING and see if you align with it and actually believe it. Too many people are zombies to the lies of society and will passionately stand behind them. Only you and the inner reality within you can determine the truth of your existence. Don’t allow society, propaganda, and the mass mentality force decisions in your life. You can battle with the ego, the norm of society, and your true beliefs forever if you let it. Step off of their path and onto your own.