Jaleel White, who played Urkel on Family Matters, is under investigation for allegedly punching his girlfriend in one of her breast implants while they were driving on the highway and their baby was in the car.

According to sources, the police report says that when they got home he slapped her and pushed her into a toilet so hard it broke. His rep says, "There was absolutely no battery ... no abuse ... and the incident never happened... This is just a ploy in an ongoing custody battle over their young daughter to tarnish his name." [TMZ]

More bad news for Lindsay Lohan: Her lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, has quit, and now she's being represented by another lawyer who was just admitted to the bar in November. [TMZ]

Here's why Holley may have quit: Lindsay is insisting on appealing the case, even though her odds of winning are ridiculously slim. A source says she declared to friends last night, "I'm not going to jail!" [TMZ]

A friend says Lindsay didn't attend her birthday party last night because she's, "beside herself. She's with her mom, sister, assistant. She couldn't bring herself to leave the house...she finally felt bottom." But the night wasn't a total bust: Kim Kardashian came over with a bag of Chinese food. [Us, Star]

Lindsay won't be allowed to wear makeup or hair extensions in jail. Smoking, as well as nicotine gum and patches, are also banned, which is a problem since she smokes two packs a day. [TMZ]

Lindsay wants $1 million for her first post-jail interview. "Financially, it's the best thing that could have ever happened to Lindsay," says a magazine source. "It's no secret that Lindsay has been in financial trouble for a while. She will earn more money from her post-prison interview than she ever earned acting." [Popeater]

As mentioned earlier, the police are investigating Mel Gibson for domestic violence and interviewed Oksana Grigorieva on Monday. [AP]

In a newly-released segment of Mel Gibson's fight with Oksana Grigorieva, he calls Latinos "wetbacks." We appreciate that Radar's trying to make the most of this tape, but at this point is anyone surprised to learn that Mel's a racist ass? [Radar]

Larry King and his wife Shawn Southwick have called off their divorce. [TMZ]

"Jennifer Aniston Adopts — Another Puppy!" Of course, this is just another sign of her desperate yearning to have BABIES. [Us]

Neil Patrick Harris says of his Emmy nomination for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series for Glee: "They announce the nominations so early in the morning, that this year I just stayed up all night and had an Emmy rave. So I must say, I'm deeply honored to be nominated, and also, my hair feels so amazing!" Conan O'Brien Tweeted about his version of The Tonight Show, not Jay Leno's, being nominated, "Congrats to my staff on 4 Emmy nominations. This bodes well for the future of The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien." [E!]

Tina Fey said of 30 Rock's nomination for best series, "This is great news. We're grateful and excited. Especially since today is the fifth anniversary of the day NBC forgot to cancel us." [Deadline]

Said Will Arnett of his nomination: "I'm Running Wilde with excitement. I can recall all the times I thought, 'Man, it's TUESDAY at 9:30, I hope 10 years from now I can say I have a show THIS FALL, on Fox,' and be referencing something I'm proud of." [Popsugar]

In the new issue of Elle, Drew Barrymore says of plastic surgery, "I don't want to be vain or fearful, and I don't think I'll do anything... But if I want to do something, I will. From my perspective, there's no reason to be afraid of aging, because if you age, you're lucky! The alternative is death." [Us]