Thursday, December 12, 2013

The Wars On Xmas And The Pope

Limbaugh took out his dog whistle, tuned it, and patiently whistled to the rabble of dittoheads, “Here’s the deal. The Reagan coalition used poor white Christians to vote for rich, white libertarians. We scared up their votes using phony culture war outrage so that we could get rich capitalists into office to shred the New Deal and suck all the wealth up to the top. Then we wanted government welfare for the richest and their largest corporations, paid for by the poor and middle class. It took 30 years, but we’ve finally done it, and we’re not about to turn back now. This Pope is a serious threat to the American right, because the Church naturally splits the uprights between America’s social conservatives and economic liberals. For decades, the Catholic Church has been focusing on social conservatism. If this Pope switches to focusing on economic liberalism, as Jesus did, and if this becomes a new norm for the Church, it could eventually siphon off our voters. Even a small percentage of Christian voters flipped from the baloney culture war to the very real class war could devastate the GOP. And if this Catholic ethos were to seep into American evangelical churches, the Republican Party would go the way of the Whig Party. That is why we are desperately smearing him.”

The Tea Partiers clutched crosses and guns to their chests and nodded solemnly as their patriotic Confederate flags flapped in the nippy December breeze.

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