2018/01/23

HOW TO BE A MUM

She's the most beautiful and secure person that you'll ever meet. She can enlighten the room by just walking in. "Words are superfluous for a first impression - attitude is everything.", is her motto. She's the most inspiring and wisest person in my life. She's the funniest, grown-up child on this planet - kind of like Peter Pan, she seems to refuse to grow up completely.

She drives me on. Sometimes, I'm not gonna lie, she drives me crazy. But at the end of the day, without her, I wouldn't exist nor survive.

If you would ask 100 kids to describe their relationship to their mum, I doubt that there would be even one single person that sees their mum the way I see mine, which is really sad actually. The bond between us goes far beyond her only having giving me birth 21 years ago. She's my best friend and the only person I would trust with my life, simply because I know that what she holds the dearest is me.

My mum has always supported me, no matter what. If she considered my actions shit, she would go crazy at home, but outside of those protected four walls, she would defend my ideas and actions nonetheless. And believe me when I say, I didn't make it always easy for her.

I know it sounds cheesy but I guess that one of the reasons why I'm the person I am today is that I always knew (or at least felt) that no matter what I did, she stood behind me and would protect me from any backlash or, in some cases, even clear the way for me. She always believed in me and gave me the chance to realise myself the way I wanted to, even if it wasn't what she had planned for me. We can all agree that there's a huge difference between my dream of becoming a Fashion Journalist and her plan of being a lawyer, but even though my chosen path wasn't at all what she dreamed of for me, she made sure I would get the chance to move to London and prove that this is what's best for me, no matter how hard it was for her to let go of her little girl.

Another thing I admire about her is how she can put other's interest before her own, first and foremost mine. She often would say that people shouldn't have kids if they aren't ready to dedicate their lives to them. And even if many people consider that to be a very radical approach, I can say out of personal experience that I consider myself very lucky that that's exactly what she did since ever and probably forever.

Growing up, I never really thought about stuff like this. For me, this was everything a given. I would take her and everything she did for me for granted. It was only over the last couple of years that I came to the conclusion that I'm a goddam lucky child, for many parents live for themselves in the first place or don't have such close, trustful friendships to their kids. But from what I learned, children don't need you to be only their parent - they need you to be their friend and confidence person. Somebody once told my mum that she envies her for not needing friends. "You can talk to your mum and daughter about everything and you know that they would never gossip, judge or share your secrets with the world.", she said. And she was right. We really don't need anybody primarily to survive except for us which I consider being a true blessing.

I'm not enough independent? Maybe. I'm too spoilt. Probably. But I see anything bad in that and was lucky enough to grow up with a mum that would literally do everything for me, for which I shall always be grateful. Thank you mum, for everything that you've done for me. I'll pay you back at some point, I promise.