The Secret Service's failure to be serviced in secret is now the hottest topic in DC area elementary schools after yesterday's ill-advised Take Your Child to Work Day at the US State Department. The State Department just so happens to be investigating a certain Secret Service for having certain sex with certain hookers from a certain South American country while protecting a certain President. Predictably, this didn't end well.

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According to Politico, the honorary junior deputy government employees were treated to a grown up talk Q&A — during the briefing, participants broached such kid-friendly topics as prostitution, sex, and strip clubs. At one point, State Department spokesperson Virginia Nuland remarked on the fact that it was Take Your Child to Work Day and impressionable young minds were present, but that didn't stop members of the press from turning Take Your Child to Work Day into Sex Ed So Informative It's Illegal in Tennessee Day.

This is a great example of when it would have been appropriate for the State Department to declare yesterday Leave Your Kids at Home Day, as it's kind of unfair to expect press members to scrub their language when the day's agenda is characterized by talk of vice. What euphemisms could they possibly have used? Instead of asking about Secret Service dalliances with sex workers, should they have instead referred to it as "the President-Police having Grown Up Hugs with Ladies who get paid to have Grown Up Hugs?" Instead of "strippers," why not "grown up dancers for daddies and mommies who love each other very much?"