Being the amazing, true-to-life adventures and (very likely) misadventures of a writer who seeks to take his education, activism and seemingly boundless energy to North Minneapolis, (NoMi) to help with a process of turning a rapidly revitalizing neighborhood into something approaching Urban Utopia. I am here to be near my child. From 02/08 to 06/15 this blog pushed free speech to the envelope, so others could take heart and speak unafraid. Email me at hoffjohnw@gmail.com

Ms. Moreland was involved in the theft of a mink coat which, incredibly, she managed to hide in her underwear for three days while in police custody. The story garnered Moreland brief fame on the bigger, wider internet. But I'd never seen the criminal complaint associated with the story, so I decided to go looking and see if it was true, that this woman hid a mink coat in her underwear for three days while in police custody.

I found the story was not only true, but a wealth of bizarre details existed. To facilitate shoplifting the mink coat, Moreland utilized underwear with the seat portion removed.

Yes, assless underwear...

Click here for the first criminal complaint. This is the mink coat incident which made her famous. Moreland went into the Alaskan Fur Company in Bloomington, concealed a mink coat in her dress, and walked toward the store entrance. (There's no "allegedly," here, she's been convicted of this and was sentenced to prison) An employee who had been watching Moreland confronted her about the stolen coat.

To "prove" that she didn't have anything concealed in her dress, Moreland flipped up the back of her dress. The employee said it appeared Moreland was not wearing underwear.

Police stopped Moreland's vehicle a short time later near Mall of America. They didn't find any fur coat but did find an empty coat hanger. They arrested her. Moreland began telling various stories. First she said she didn't steal the coat. Later, she admitted stealing the coat but said she'd already sold it. Three days later, in custody and (it would appear) wearing the same clothes she'd been arrested in, Moreland admitted she'd stolen the coat and, incredibly, it was in her possession. She lifted the front of her dress and produced the coat from her underwear. She admitted to removing the seat of her underwear so it would look like she wasn't wearing underwear and could make it look (to anybody she flashed with her ass) there was no place to conceal any stolen goods.

And thus was born a legend. The Assless Underwear Bandit.

On another occasion, according to charges by Hennepin County prosecutors, click here, Moreland used a different tactic. She was wearing a pair of Spanx pulled down to the knee, forming a handy pouch where she could stuff merchandise. When confronted by store security at Old Navy in Maple Grove, Moreland said "check me" and pulled down the top of her skirt revealing buttocks and "front genital area." She showed officers her naked buttocks when taken into custody.

With a mama that smart you would have thought that Haywood would have known better. His lead allergies made him just another statistic who succumbed to lead poisoning...soooooo... so hopefully all of his relatives go out and get updated on THEIR SHOTS!

Any updates on the shooting of Ledell Williams (aka "Juney Soprano")? Word is he's still in a coma in HCMC, unlikely to recover. He supposedly came from a solid hard-working intact family, but then chose to become a low-life drug-using thug rapper. Some moron kids turn bad even with good parents.

if people like her put as much time, effort and thought into earning a decent living and being an upstanding citizen as she put into how to alter her underwear so she can shove the maximum amount of stolen goods down her pants and then flash her ass at security personnel, then me thinks her life and society would be a much different/better place.

What a rotten excuse for a human being and a mother. I hope she is proud of herself for being such a failure and pretty much causing the murder of her son by leading such a pathetic example of how to be a criminal and live the thug life.

I fucking hate thugs and the thuggy ghetto ass culture and lifestyle that some sectors of society are choosing to live.

This is article is a rather cheeky analysis of the 'thug life looks a lot like religion' and 'shoplifting is just like reglar folks shopping' ways of life.

Between 'they'se bin turning their lifes' around the past few years' and 'they's good in everyone but he be taken away too soon!' this sums it all up. The bonus is that everyone gotsta love thinking about the feeling of mink in the crack in the holding cell.

Each and every time a thug-hugger minimizes, rationalizes, and enables all the crap that goes on around here by saying things like "everybody makes mistakes," and "you don't know what the thug was really like," I understand that they have exactly the kind of values that Hayward Eaton's mother does.

The only reason people minimize this behavior is because they engage in it themselves, and they want everyone to accept it as normal the way they do.

Sorry, thug-huggers, but there's a whole big beautiful world outside of the thug life, and from that outside world, thugs and their enablers just look small, and dingy, and pathetic.

I wish. Booking photos cost, like, five bucks apiece. I've always made it clear that if readers/fans/interested parties will send me RELEVANT booking photos I will be happy to publish those photos if they are exclusive and not otherwise available on the internet.

Looks as though you want to have your cake and eat it too. It is your blog and you can be as selective as you want to be. You also have a keen way of rationalizing your racism also. I wish I knew what your cool name for nigger is.

I'm publishing your comment as an example of the behind-the-scenes bullshit I put up with in the comments section.

There are a few pinheads out there who seem to think that because some of the criminals I write about happen to be black that it's just OPEN FUCKING SEASON on minorities. To these pinheads I say:

Could you possibly put forth some effort and develop a more complex line of political thought than merely looking at the back of your own hand one day and thinking, "By god, I am a white person. That's what I am. White. So how can I leverage this fact about my race into feeling better about my trashy existence and lack of meaningful intellect? I know, I will go and type anonymous shit bird comments about minorities."

Johnny Northside gets the scoop on the assless underwear bandit ( complete with mink coat where it taint been seen), or someone chimo like Spanky Pete, but they happen to be WHITE! I wonder if he'd be shitcanning that story?