4.06.2011

Stress.

I secretly have had M&M's and a quesodilla today. I have a lot on my plate right now (only figuratively as of this minute -- I literally licked my REAL plate clean already) ; normally I am not one that turns towards eating, if anything (until I moved to LA) I used to not eat. Well -- I hope I don't stick to the high fat binge that I went on today -- hahaha.

I have been given one of the most amazing internship opportunities, working with a company that I have thought fondly of since I stopped ski racing. Everything has really fallen into place, and I have been the incredibly lucky with all the support I have been given from friends and family alike. Unlike my internship with Hello Drama, this one requires a lot of "in office" time, which I am excited about, it also requires me to be around for 3 days, thus, meaning my actual works hours are going to be cut dramatically. I depend on those hours to make money so I can have food, and of course gas to commute to all the necessary places (work, school, etc). One of the biggest on going questions is, 'how am I going to do this?'.....well, I haven't really gotten there yet....but I know that I will figure it out someway or another. I have already figured out a lot of stuff in my young years...I know I have this on lock.

Don't you think it is kind of ironic how internships work? You delicate a bunch of unpaid time with the hopes that you will eventually become a full time, salary paid employee. The stick in the wheel is, since you dedicate free time there is no time to actually get paid for work (although, I cannot complain about this -- I am quite excited about my situation). We all need money to live, but in order to get that money we have to give up our luxuries and buckle down. WOW.....

With all this being said...I have taken the internship and today I after thinking I handled matters in the utmost professional way at my "real" job, I go to find out the kind words which were spoken to me this morning where secretly a cover up for the evil thoughts that were evoked from me being granted a step in the right direction.

With all this hype about internships I decided that I had to find out more about the importance of one. Some schools they require you to have one, others they just let you float through. A lot of jobs these days are requiring internship experience, and obviously that has been the road I have decided to follow. A reoccurring word that I see when reading about internships is "success", we all want to be successful. Tonight while I was talking on the phone after I found out some 'disturbing' news about something a co-worker had gone behind my back and said, the word 'success' was brought up -- I want to be so successful. I want to make a name for myself, clearly that is not achievable by staying at a job like the one I am in now. In order to be successful you have to start as the low man on the totem pole -- this also means you have to work for little to no money at all -- its a harsh reality. My mom says everything I am going through right now is just part of being in my 20s. I say....its stupid and I wish I could skip over it....

On the Interweb site for BYU business school they have some types about why internships are helpful, it was reassuring to look over the types and realize I am making a good decision that is going to help me leaps and bounds in my future.

Gain real work experience

Set yourself apart

Continue your learning

Test the water

Here is an interesting excerpt that I found on a NYT article:

Internships can provide an important edge, she said. ''You'll be able to demand more and get farther faster when you do graduate,'' she added. The training also helps build your comfort level with the working world, reducing the chances of falling on your face later.

There are so many things that I want to do with my life -- and I guess that this is one of the many stops that will lead me to the next greatest thing. Okay, so whats the big deal? Why am I complaining so much about an opportunity to get ahead in life? Well, because I am nervous. I have been told my entire life -if you are not nervous about something, than it isn't worth it-. I agree. I get nervous in a lot of situations, I have grown up in a surrounding where I am always second guessing myself, and over analyze situations -- not the best trait, but not necessarily a bad trait either.

Below are some articles about internships that I found just searching the good ole' world-wide-web....

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