We lost many celebrities and influential people this New Year, and we’re not even three weeks into 2016. Out of those we lost (so far), David Bowie & Alan Rickman were the most influential to me personally.

The deaths of David Bowie and Alan Rickman have sent shock waves out into the world.

I’m not going to pretend I felt as strongly connected, as some of my current and former friends have, to David Bowie. I’m a bit of a late bloomer as a Bowie fan. It was only in the last three or so years I began listening to Bowie’s music in depth, studied his eccentric fashion sense, and learned of his influence on many misfits, outsiders, & whomever felt alone because they were different from the masses. David Bowie’s courage to be himself in a world that actively fights & resists against the very notion of being one’s individual self has inspired generations. Whether he intended to or not, he gave a gift to the world. The energy he put out into the world as an entertainer & artist had a massive, universal impact that will continue to radiate for generations to come.

Alan Rickman died on my 28th birthday.

He is the first of a small group of favorite actors that have had a massive impact on myself, creatively, and emotionally. My generation, the millennials/Gen Y know him as Professor Severus Snape in the Harry Potter films. But his body of work as Hans Gruber in Die Hard, Angel Metatron in Dogma, Sir Alexander Dane from Galaxy Quest, & many other roles helped introduce me to the unconventional in film; the concept of the unconventional character, and the deep understanding of the shadow side of human nature.

I never met Alan Rickman in person or online.

From what I gather… mainly from watching countless interviews, talk show appearances, and hearing other’s experiences, he was a beautiful human being who had a deep understanding of the human experience. Those that worked with him constantly talk about how he always went the extra mile to help out his friends.

In every behind the scenes picture I ever saw him in he was always smiling. Never had I seen someone smile as much as Alan.

You can imagine how deep my heart sank waking up to the news of Alan’s passing.

The world is in a collective mourning period right now.

Losing two influences of mine triggered a thought deep within me during a period meditation. The message that came through was this:

Don’t take those you find inspiration from for granted. They’re not always going to be around. Learn as much as you possibly can from them while they’re alive. If you feel a connection with them: Explore that. Meditate on it. If you have an opportunity to see them perform live, do NOT pass that up. If you get the opportunity to meet them in person or have them answer a question of yours on a panel: TAKE IT. You may never get another opportunity.

There is a reason why you feel as inspired as you do. Take the chance to explore that feeling.

From what I’ve observed, and experienced myself, David Bowie & Alan Rickman have helped us all connect with our own authentic selves on a deeper level. They inspire us to take a chance on finding our place in the universe.

As we all continue to mourn these losses, we must continue to push ourselves to question the world around us and do what we can to make a difference. David and Alan have inspired that in myself.

Their influence on me will continue to help me find my purpose. And I hope their influence helps everyone who needs it.

I took a bike ride a few weeks ago to clear my head after a week full of unexpected events. About a month ago, I was all set to get my first new car, a 2015 Toyota Corolla LE Eco. I was really happy and excited, even though I knew something within the process felt a bit off instinctively. Towards the end of my shift at work I was handed a letter that said they wouldn’t be continuing with my place of employment. Long story short: I will not fight to stay somewhere where I’m not valued. And that’s that. It’s truly for the best to put the car purchasing on hold for the present moment. I want & need to feel comfortable in my first major purchase. Who wouldn’t? It’s like buying a house…only portable. During that bike ride, I found myself coming across an old swing set on the bike trail that a couple of childhood friends & I used to swing on. I haven’t swung on a swing in quite a few years. It’s probably the closest I’ve ever come to the feeling of flying. That flying feeling has the power to take you out of yourself; out of your worries and day to day concerns. It felt exhilarating & joyous. 🙂 Grounding oneself is important. Yet, letting your feet off the ground for a few moments for a quick rest or fun time can help you re-energize yourself; and allow new energy to flow through you in a different form. This way, when you put your feet on the ground again, you’re able to ground yourself with a whole new energy. It’s liberating and regenerating. It’s a great stress reliever. 🙂

“Boys, I’ve given a great deal of thought to what I’m about to say. I’ve talked it over with the staff and we all came to the same conclusion – that there should be some form of punishment for the unspeakable behavior of yesterday. (Pause) Most of you are here because you could not adjust to the outside world. You broke the rules of society. At some time… in your childhood perhaps… you were allowed to get away with that. But when you broke a rule you knew it. You wanted to be punished – needed it – but the punishment did not come. That leniency on the part of your parents may have been the germ of your present illness. I remind you of this, hoping you will understand that it is entirely for your own good that we enforce discipline.” –Nurse Ratched; One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest (Stage Play)

Dolores Umbridge of the Harry Potter series

Dolores Umbridge is one of the only villains that’s truly made my stomach churn; right there with Mildred Ratched (Nurse Ratched of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest). Same can be said for Frollo of Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame, who is considered the scariest Disney villain due to his realistic fear striking. Sister Jude (Judy Martin) of season two’s American Horror Story: Asylum fits this category to an extent. Why? Besides these types of power hungry individuals actually existing in our schools, work place, etc. They are directly responsible for keeping the wheel of these inhumane systems of bigotry, hatred, & separation moving.

Nurse Mildred Ratchedof One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest

They are enablers that weasel their way into positions of power; specifically through some sort of position that has direct influence over others on an institutional level. Schools, mental hospitals, government positions, etc. are perfect examples of intuitions where the minds of the masses are in a vulnerable position and easily influenced and steered.

Sister Judeof American Horror Story: Asylum

What’s most disturbing is their methods of concealing their bigotry and intolerance.

They hide it, and they hide it well; much of it using subtle means.

They will do all that they can to convince you that you are somebody or something that you are certainly NOT. They do this by manipulation, coercion, and delivery of some sort of sermon. Anything to convince you of what they believe to be their truth.

Their lull’s and smiles are covered in poison as they pretend to nurture you. When in the presence of someone like this, we often feel drained, sick, or dirty on an energetic level.

Sometimes these malevolent institutional gatekeepers are very observant and will use their observations of you to their own advantage.

Watch out.

Others will just call it as they see it.

Does it come as a surprise that many of perpetrators/institutional gatekeepers are women? To me, not really. These women–even if they claim their behavior is all them–aren’t always aware (or are) that behind them is a council made up of mostly–if not all–men. These men know and perpetuate a system sometimes even they don’t fully understand.

Either way, you can’t negotiate with these people.

As the disfranchised, misfits, dreamers, weirdos, and regular everyday folk, we have to mass together if we want things to change. They may think they have power over others….but what they don’t understand is that the rest of us outnumber the power hungry 99 to 1.

Is this the year of the Norma/Norman Bates mother/(killer) son dysfunctional relationship dynamic on TV?

Norman & Norma Bates of Bates Motel

No seriously, we have the actual Norma & Norman Bates of Bates Motel, with Norma having to come to terms with her sons psychological illness and issues getting worse and worse; we have Oswald Cobblepott & his mother, Gertrud Kapelput that have a weird connection all their own going on; and then there’s psychotic, copy-cat clown, serial killer, Dandy Mott, and his mother Gloria in this season (four) of American Horror Story: Freak show.

Dandy & Gloria Mott of season 4 of American Horror Story: Freak show

What do these mothers & sons all have in common? Well…the sons are all obviously killers; their mothers know this…or will soon find out…they’re unabashedly devoted to their boys, yet they haven’t a clue how to properly deal with their sons descent into madness….

But watch out: These overprotective mothers will do whatever it takes to make sure their boys are safe from harm; even if that means hiding the bodies for them, and crossing a few moral lines themselves along the way.

Oswald Cobblepott, & his mother, Gertrud Kapelput of Gotham

Gertrud is….pretty convinced her Oswald has run off with some lady friend. Not sure where she gets that idea…But nonetheless there’s a few boundaries she needs to abide by:

First rule: Let your son take his bath. Alone. Capiche? …All kinds of awkward here. He’s had a rough day dealing with all kinds of pre-Batman criminal mob stuff. I think he can sponge bathe himself.

Oh hell…lets be real: These mothers are facing their own journey and descent into madness.

Exhibit A:

Yeah, Gloria….where he devours them into that void of a mouth, behind that faux DCnu Joker mask.

In spite of these mama’s over-protective killer instincts…the monsters their sons have become reflect a really nasty reality we face today: Enabling undesirable, unacceptable, and often abhorrent behaviors in people in order to maintain the status quo; particularly at any costs, and especially if said person has a reputation to maintain.

It’s much worse when the killer is rife with privileges, which include class, gender, and race–specifically the white, rich, males who have some sort of societal and class protection. Dandy Mott is a perfect example of someone whose privilege and stunted emotions run unchecked. Sheltered from the world and spoiled rotten by his mother hasn’t helped his psych any either. He’s come to embrace his inner emptiness and darkness, as well as pulling inspiration from the now deceased, tortured soul, Twisty the clown (pictured above).

Dandy Mott’s smashing clown costume

Dandy isn’t afraid to show his mother whom he truly and fully is. This puts Gloria in a very tight spot. Though…it’s hard to empathize someone who enables such warped behavior….especially one that’s admitted to having been at least aware of the inbreeding that’s been going on in the Mott family. It’ll be interesting to see what Gloria ends up doing in the midst of Dandy’s knife happy shenanigans…

Same could be said for Norma Bates. In that corrupt, quiet, coastal Oregon town there’s only so many places one can hide a body. Norman is still a teenager, and has killed two people or more already….though his diagnosis and motivation isn’t necessarily caused by malice or sociopathy…that we know of. Norman’s blackouts are still something to be explored. He may just have a bad case of mental illness…We’ll have to wait and see. We know where his story goes…but it’s the mechanics of his mental illness we need to understand.

Either way…It’ll be interesting to see how far these mothers are willing to be pushed, both by themselves and by their sons’ madness.