I'm an existential questioner that likes to discuss controversial topics, hang out with my animals, listen to the Joe Rogan Experience, and expand my mind.
Find me @bonniesein on twitter and instagram to see what I get up to outside of this blog.

fewer and fewer words.

I went on a writing hiatus. I don't know why, exactly. I actually wrote a bunch of posts, got halfway through them and just never finished or posted them. I don't know why I didn't post them either. But here we are. Ready for more rants, politically incorrect observations and just general fuckery. I can't believe 'fuckery' isn't a word by the way.

I'm an atheist. I used to be agnostic, until quite recently, but have decided that holding on to some sort of notion that there potentially could be a higher power that may or may not influence life on earth just seemed, well, unscientific. I think I held on to that belief for a few reasons. One being that I liked the idea that potentially god could be the collective human consciousness, and how ironic life would be that we all fight over who believes in the right god when really we're all god and life is about reaching that realisation of existential freedom and enlightenment. I have now debunked that thought process in my own mind, because even if it were true, god is a man-made concept (in my opinion), and that concept more or less was one that I made up to make myself feel like life held more importance than it really did. I don't mean that as if life isn't important, I just mean that perhaps we're reading into it too much. Or at least I was. The second reason for why I sat in the grey area of agnosticism was due to my own aversion to conviction, the same conviction that religious people so arrogantly hold for their own beliefs, and which they impose on others. I find it extremely patronizing that followers of religion have the audacity to claim they know there is a god, that they believe in the correct god, and that they know how life started and how it will end. And they came to this conclusion from a book, written by men. I decided that my belief in not believing wasn't the same as being a believer. Being a non-believer shouldn't need to be justified, and therefore, in my opinion, should be the neutral opinion of a human being. Not having faith, and choosing not to be ruled by some celestial dictator, should be by all accounts, the default factory setting of man. I came to this conclusion because looking at my own life, if the word 'religion' had never been uttered to me, if the threat of hell or the reward of heaven never came across my young, childish mind, I believe I would never have come to the conclusion that after death, I would end up in some paradise above the clouds. Luckily for me I remember resenting the church at a young age, and how bitter I was at the fact that I was forced to attend chapel at my school on a weekly basis. I also remember feeling extremely offended when a grown man told me that Jesus rose from the dead, 3 days later in fact, after being proclaimed deceased. What an insult to my intelligence! And what a negligent way to raise young minds, to force feed them religious doctrine without a choice or say in the matter. It wasn't my parents' fault, most private schools operate this way. Fortunately for me my parents never imposed any religious teachings in the household, and aren't religious anyhow. I truly believe though that if religion didn't exist, I would have come to the conclusion that life is just all you get. Which is the conclusion that I'm at now, officially. And to be honest, I think the third reason why I floated in the agnostic realm was due to my own issues with death. And when I say issues, I mean my horrifying fear of death. I have, as most people do, a gut wrenching dread of morbidity. Not just for myself, but for those who I love so dearly. And I'm sure that most people fear the death of their loved ones, more than their own (which is the category I fall in to). I'm not saying that to come across as selfless, I'm saying that because I doubt my own strength in dealing with grief and loss, and would find it easier if I just died instead, rather than having to go through the torture of mourning. And what happens after death? I think this is the reason most people are religious, is to find comfort in the unknown. It is not comforting knowing that when you die, that's it. That's the end, and you're no longer in existence. I've decided to embrace that realisation however, and find that death isn't actually so intimidating now - because once you're dead, you don't know any different. Because you're dead. I think that's the best ending to the story really. Plus pets aren't allowed in heaven, and I just don't want to support an establishment that isn't animal friendly.

And I'm not saying that I'm right, by the way. But in terms of the most-likely scenario here, looking at deductive reasoning, actual physical evidence and scientific research done by people much smarter than I am, I've come to the conclusion that the reasonable stance on this is that there is no god. And until proven differently, I will continue to hold that stance.

I recently watched an interview on Al Jazeera of Richard Dawkins debating religion with one of their journalists who was also Muslim. The man is clearly intelligent, and Dawkins asks him if he really believes that Muhammad flew off into heaven on a winged horse. The man surprisingly says yes. He says that he believes in miracles, and if it's in the book, he believes it... I find that reasoning contradictory of a journalist. When I think of journalism, especially investigative, I think of somebody who is unbiased and logical. And I think using the word 'miracle' is a cop out. Because that's all you can say really to defend that idea. I could say to that man, well show me the evidence that flying horses existed, and how did Muhammad breathe after reaching 8,000 metres above sea level on said flying horse, and where exactly is this magical heaven? If I told you today that I saw a man fly off into the sky on a winged horse and that he was going to heaven, you would immediately think I was either on drugs, or needed serious medical/psychological attention. But for some strange reason, we give religion a free pass... because why? Someone wrote it a long time ago? Because lots of people believe it? What an odd double standard we hold.

What we have to do is force our beliefs to conform to the evidence of reality, rather than the other way around. Lawrence Krauss said that and I think it's pretty legit. And the evidence of reality is pointing to a world that was in fact, not created by god. I also think that evidence proves that religion has caused more harm than good on this earth, and I'd be happy to see it gone tomorrow if it were possible. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for being religious, and please don't pity me if you are religious, because I don't need that. And I'm not implying that I am somehow above you, or that religious people are inferior, however I do believe that blind faith and a disregard for all things logical in the name of some god or miracles, is an inferior thought process. Because without curiosity, and without questioning, we become a society of followers, rather than thinkers. And to be honest, it seems to me that for most of human existence, religion has been just that. A reason to create quiet, obedient, fearful citizens that must live within certain constructs. Because what's the easiest way to rule over people? By creating an ominous celestial ruler that knows exactly what you're thinking at all times, and whom you cannot escape (even after you're dead). It seems pretty obvious to me that religion is just another form of oppression and control (both physically and mentally). And isn't it a little suspicious that there are religions ALL over the world. I mean, it's a joke how many religions there are. That in itself should be a tell tale sign that the whole thing is made up. And if you are religious, think about this: if you were born in a different country where a different religion was the main religion of that country, YOU would follow that religion instead of the one you're following now! I probably could've worded that sentence better but you get the idea.

I feel like political correctness is the new religion, and truth is the new hate speech. I find it ironic that the regressive left wants to impose on people's freedom of speech, and instate rules where you're not allowed to say certain things. It's ironic because the left are the people that fight for the minorities and for acceptance of all people. The left fought for civil rights. They spoke out about homosexuality, when you weren't supposed to talk about it. They spoke out about ending racism, when you weren't supposed to talk about it. They spoke out about women's rights, when you weren't supposed to talk about it. The left influenced so much change, because they used their freedom to express themselves and say whatever the fuck they wanted, to create change. And now it seems that they've completely gone backwards in that thinking, and that you may only speak your mind if you're a minority (please check your privilege if you're a white male because apparently your opinion has no validity), and if you hold the same beliefs that they do. Because god forbid somebody gets offended in the 21st century. You can't have free speech without the freedom to be offended. They go hand in hand. And you have the right to be offended more importantly. But when you say to me, "You're not allowed to say that, it offends me," as if you have some special right that I don't have, well actually I can say whatever the fuck I want. I use the word retarded. I don't mean it in the literal sense. And I'm not perpetuating some sort of culture where that word creates a stigma against people with a mental disorder. You create that meaning, not me. I have gay friends that say, "That's so gay." Just because a word has a literal meaning, doesn't mean I'm saying it literally. And there are plenty of phrases and terms that people use every day, that nobody in their right mind would actually take in the literal sense. And if you want to think that when I say, "This guy is a piece of shit," you think that I'm referring to a human being that has taken on the physical form of feces, well then you're a fucking idiot. And I mean that, literally.

So take your safe spaces, your cultural appropriation (which is so ridiculous by the way), your social justice warrior mentality, your micro-aggressions, your self-important-I'm-offended-so-everybody-should-stop-what-they're-doing-and-listen-to-me bullshit, and just get over it. By the way, did you hear about the college student that refused to go to "rape class" so he got suspended. How demoralizing and condescending, sending adult male students to a class about how to not rape somebody. Seriously, what the fuck is going on in the world.

The time we're living in sort of reminds me of George Orwell's 1984. There's a concept in the book about how the ministry slowly diminishes language, in order to control the people and their thoughts. The quote is "In the end... every concept that can ever be needed, will be expressed by exactly one word, with its meaning rigidly defined and all its subsidiary meanings rubbed out and forgotten... Every year fewer and fewer words, and the range of consciousness always a little smaller." That's exactly how I feel about restricting speech. When we don't have the right to speak our minds, our civil liberties are going to start disappearing real quick. Dude, I am just dropping major fucking philosophical/controversial shit on everybody today.

On a lighter note, Wade and I have started watching Stranger Things. We're 4 episodes in, and holy shit is it good. And frightening. I'm terrified to go to bed at night and walk around in the dark. I sort of was afraid of the dark to begin with (I'm 24 years old by the way), but now it's just exacerbated the problem even more. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it's possibly the best season 1 of a TV show I've ever seen. It's such an original concept. And all the actors are amazing. My favourite is the kid with no front teeth. Plus the soundtrack is all time. Anyway, if you haven't watched it yet, get on that shit.

In other news, we got a mother-fuckin' cat! Me, of all people. I know. I apologise to all the cat lovers that I alienated throughout my years of blogging. Looks like I just hadn't met the right cat, because Moe (aka Mr Moe, Mr Kitty, Stinky Kitty) is just the cat's meow. That's my one cat pun for the day. I promise. He's a ranga cat and he's 10 months old. His favourite things to do are to sleep in between your legs/on your lap, watch you shower (kinda creepy), knock things off the table, get kisses from Zeus (even if Zeus' tongue is the size of Moe's head) and lick/eat your fingers/hair. He's awesome. And so clean. He makes Zeus and Thor look like absolute pigs. Which they are. But he really highlights it.

In conclusion, my house is a zoo. Wade says we're not allowed any more pets. He's probably right.

You Might Also Like

about me

I'm Bonnie. A 25 year old Melbourne based writer, listener of the Joe Rogan Experience, lover of adventure, and enjoyer of all things food related. I like to sweat by doing yoga, bjj or crossfit style workouts. But I also like to play computer games for 8 hours straight (because balance). Back in 2012 I broke my neck and started this blog.