Saturday, December 24, 2011

Three days ago, esophagus pretty much shut down for 36 hours. Eating was pointless, though I kept trying. Virtually everything came up. Understand: coming back up does *not* equal vomiting. To vomit, it actually has to get into the stomach. This was not.

Net result, dehydration. Dehydration means messed up electrolytes. Messed up electrolytes means, among other things, dizziness and cramping. That pretty much describes midnight to morning.

Thankfully, my early warning system is working. But I 'spect only since I'm already so out of whack. Have I mentioned that I'm *tired* of being out of whack?

Was contemplating my 60 pound weight loss between June and the end of September/Emergency Room. A calorie deficit of 210,000 calories. A 1,750 deficit every day for 120 days. (At 150 pounds, your body at rest needs 1800 calories per day.) I wonder if one single soul, medical or otherwise, has surmised what this might mean to an actual life. . . .

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About Me

Water gathering
most days I wait
through blue and sun
till dusk
or even later
and the rose has faded
to lavender, to gray
some days, the sleet
has started
and the leaves underfoot
are slick with ice
somehow I'm never sorry
and never learn
one night I waited
till the stars were out
dropped the bucket into
sound, only felt the weight
of it filling
and the night full of stars
and the river full of stars
and the bucket full of stars
come morning, the coffee
is also full of stars