My sad mood.. (don't read if not interested in Leo's bull)

thechoson

I just felt like posting this. Sometimes I'm just an emotional wreck. When it comes to matters of the heart, I am such a fool, and it bothers me sometimes. I was listening to Usher's "My Boo", and the lyrics kinda got me thinking, about my first love, my gf, back when I was in high school. No matter what, she's always going to have a piece of my heart. I left so much of myself in that relationship, but to this day I know I truly loved her.

I recently started talking to somebody that reminded me of my first gf. Uncanny, though there was hardly any physical resemblence, it was like I was talking to her again. My 1st gf had this way of talking to you that made you feel like you were the only person in the world. Every story she would tell, no matter how mundane, sucked you in, cause she had this twinkle in her eye and such enthusiasm in the words she spoke. She was innocent, a child at heart, who tried to please everyone and often succeeded. This person was like her so much, I got sucked in. Now I know what you are wondering, between work and posting here, when do I have time to talk to girls? Well I stay up REALLY late sometimes, I have lunch hours, and weekends. haha. LA is a big 24 hour city.

But, this chick has dissapointed me beyond belief for a while now. I refuse to talk, see, or have anything to do with her now. (She's not in a circumstance, like work, where we would be in constant contact, so this is easy to do) It's not that great of a loss for me since this whole process was rather brief, and we really didn't do anything together. And it's certainly no loss for her. But I'm just upset at myself for falling for her, albeit briefly. I don't know why I did, it was rather foolish of me to do so, and I repeatedly upset and dissapoint myself at the level at which I let my heart make decisions for me. This upsets me.

What also upset me is a chick that, albeit briefly, I held in such high regard, could f-ing piss me off so much. I guess it's magnified by the fact that she reminds me of my first gf so much anyways. It's a crash and burn feeling for me, and I am quite upset by it.

Oh well, I'll shut the @#!* up now. I feel better, this was a good idea.

jayhawk

Nope, I've got two roommates. Also, our neighbors just popped over to annoy the hell out of us. They are a bunch of guys that just moved out of the dorms, and have never lived on their own before. They came over with their natty light and tried to throw a little game our way, so I said I had a really important thing I had to do on my computer, and voila! here I am.

Logged

thechoson

Nope, I've got two roommates. Also, our neighbors just popped over to annoy the hell out of us. They are a bunch of guys that just moved out of the dorms, and have never lived on their own before. They came over with their natty light and tried to throw a little game our way, so I said I had a really important thing I had to do on my computer, and voila! here I am.

Must be exciting living in Kansas. Good thing you threw those guys out though. They sound like they were white.