Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

I know it's probably obvious to everyone reading your post OP, but I still feel that it must be said: DUH! ARRRRRR you an idiot? Who would have thought that having a bird out of its cage in a moving car would be a bad idea? ANYONE WITH A BRAIN!

I mean, if the OP is so bad at driving that she swerved off the road and crashed into a tree instead of just slamming on the brakes because something was hitting her face, she deserved it big time and I would be happy if she was never on the road again.

you're right 29, but maybe slamming on the breaks could've caused a large accident with multiple cars rear-ending each other, if OP was on a busy road. But I'm just gonna assume that OP was startle by the flapping in their face, and their reflexes kicked in and the swerved out of fright.
could happen to anyone, who decided to play pirate in the car.

Yeah, really. I have a parrot and I always put her in her travel cage when I take her to the vet. Parrots can be scared easily in such a way. Op is obviously not a very experienced or intelligent avian owner.

Driving with pets on you lap, shoulders or on you in any way is very dangerous because when the animal isn't secured like a dog for example. Nothing stops it from going out the window or the airbag breaking its neck.