Same old sorry story: I don't own them. I'm not making any money. Leave me alone. Feedback welcome.

I know its not the best title, but hey.

Baby Wipes

"But I like GIRLS, Kon," Robin protested.

"So. Liking girls has nothing to do with it."

"I'd beg to differ. This whole thing is just weird. Come on, I'm not going to do it."

"You damned sissy. Give me your hand."

"I'm not giving you my hand. You're going to do something… unnatural to it."

"There's nothing unnatural about it."

"Kon, I don't care if it glows in the dark."

"Damned sissy. Who'd have thought the boy wonder was a sissy? Wait till I tell Bart. I'm going to tell him that his fearless leader is afraid of nail polish." Superboy grabbed Robin's hand and spread his fingers out. Robin was only half-protesting now. They were sitting on the floor of the cave, messing around with a box of junk.

"I think I'd be more of a sissy with it on."

"Hey, I'm wearing it, and I'm not a sissy."

"That's a matter of opinion, Kon."

Kon held out his fingernails. "Its silver. Like… a pencil. I think it looks kinda cool. Chicks dig a guy in touch with his feminine side and all that."

"Batman said no to the earring. I don't think he'll 'dig' nail polish."

They rolled around on the floor for a bit. They could have done serious damage to each other, if they'd been in the mood, but for now they were just playing around. Superboy continued to cry out for Robin to "submit" as they both got silver nail polish all over themselves. Laughs escaped them intermittently. They'd knocked the bottle over and were now rolling in it.

"I do not want to know what the hell is going on, do I?"

Superboy rolled off of Robin's back, and onto the floor. When Robin looked over at Nightwing, he revealed a large streak of silver in his hair. "Just playin'." Robin assured his surrogate brother.

"Um hum. And what the hell is this? Hey, wait. This is mine!" Nightwing snatched up the now-empty bottle.

"You said I could have all the stuff on the floor of your car, if I cleaned it out."

Nightwing frowned. "I didn't mean this! I was talking lose change!"

"No fun," Robin growled. "Lemme guess. Bats isn't coming to Parent-Teacher Conferences, and that's why you're here. AGAIN." Batman NEVER came. Which might have been a good thing, because all he did was scare everyone there. But still, Robin was NOT feeling the love. It was like… he really didn't take an interest in Young Justice. Like he just put up with it. Nightwing tended to be much more tolerant, based on his own experiences with the Titans. He'd have to ask Dick about that. If Bats had ignored him too.

"He got caught up with something."

"He ALWAYS gets caught up with something."

"We're not having this conversation. Go get cleaned up. Before I tell everyone what you two were doing."

"Come ON, Nightwing."

Superboy paused, scratched the back of his neck, then left. He would really have liked to have seen Robin lose his cool and blow up and get grounded for the rest of his life, but he didn't quite know about that Nightwing guy. I mean, they'd gotten a cool bunch of stuff off the floor of his car, but the guy was a little weird. Like weirder than the Bat because he wasn't scary, he was just… weird. Serious and not serious at the same time. Like, how could he pick on Robin, and be all stern at the same time? At least Red Tornado was just sarcastic all the time and that's the way it was.

A few seconds later, Robin marched out of the room and walked past him, making a face. "So, fearless leader. Get your butt chewed out?" Superboy was probably the resident expert in getting his butt chewed out. He could sympathize.

Superboy stopped. "Wanna talk about it? I mean… I wont say anything." Robin looked… well, super-pissed. And they'd been getting along so well all afternoon.

"Well, just… about Batman not coming. It bugs me sometimes."

Robin looked really disappointed. "I'm sure it's nothing personal. He's a busy guy, right?" They knew NOTHING about Batman, and Superboy knew he was in no position to talk, but he felt the need to give his friend a little support.

"Yeah. Always busy." Robin leaned against the wall. "Whats wrong with me? This like, shouldn't bug me, right? I know he's busy. Its not like he's missing the little-league play-offs or something. Parent-teacher conferences. Like, I should be jumping for joy or something."

"Come on. I have some nail polish remover in my room. Don't ask." It was one of those things… you just never knew when you'd need it. And, well, the hall way wasn't the best place for this conversation.

They went into Kon's room, and Robin tried not to notice the pinups of models all over the walls. He hadn't been there long, but the space looked pretty… lived in. "I got pink stuff that smells bad, or purple stuff that smells worse." Superboy tossed him the bottle that smelled worse, then started digging for tissues.

"So. Back to this Batman thing."

"I had a feeling I wasn't going to escape this."

"Chill out. Listen, I mean, if it really bugs you, can you say something to him? Like… you know, just that you'd like him to come. I mean… Nightwing isn't your partner. So he shouldn't be coming all the time." It seemed reasonable enough to Superboy.

"Well, its not the easiest guy to talk to."

"I'll do it. Then its not like you said anything." Superboy wondered if he could really do that. But he'd at least offer.

"Right, Kon." Robin sniffed the bottle. "This stuff wreaks." But he dumped some on his hair in an attempt to get it all out. "I mean… it's a nice gesture, but he wouldn't buy it. Come on. Any of you guys standing up to him?"

"Ok, he sucks at this whole parenting thing even more than Arrowette's mom, and we all think so but none of us wanted to say anything."

"He's not my dad."

"That's not what we mean. I mean… Nightwing's not your real brother, right? But he doesn't just completely and totally suck, even if he is a creep." Ok, that didn't come out right, Superboy thought. "What I mean is, he needs to be like… a human being, instead of a bat." Maybe Superboy shouldn't have even attempted this talk.

"He's always going to be like that, so there's no point in even trying."

Superboy didn't know what to say to that. "Well, he shouldn't be. No offence, but he sucks."

"Well, he should get some and stop being such a poop." Superboy WAS indignant for Robin. Robin pretended to be all dark and mysterious like Batman, but he could tell there were some things that bugged him. Robin wasn't impervious to hurt feelings.

He was still smiling, even though his brow was still turned downward in thought. "Batman can kick your butt."

"Hey, no my dad can beat up your dad stuff. That game lost it's fun when we realized Arowette's mom was a nutbar who'd take ALL of them out." Superboy nudged Robin. "Just remember that. No matter how bad it gets, you're not related to psycho-mom."

"True. I'm sure EVERYONE would like it if psycho-mom stopped coming to these get-togethers."

"But they wouldn't be half the fun." Sometimes it was cool to come back to a mess that you didn't make, that was made by the 'grownups'. Those allegedly sane and responsible people who had somehow ended up being in charge of your well-being. "Hey, uh, Rob… do you think your dad… your real dad would fair well at these things?"

"Never thought about it." He did stop and think. "Lets just not go there. I can't seem to get over the hump of him finding out the secret identity thing."

"Right. You're talking about the guy who had plans on how to take down the whole Justice League."

Kon shrugged. "I mean that all figuratively and stuff. I was serious before. You totally gotta tell him it bugs you."

"Why are you riding me about this?"

"Because I know it bugs you. You try to be all mysterious leader, but you're same age as us. And I'd be pretty pissed if that happened to me." Kon could get used to this empathy stuff.

"Wow," was all Robin had to say. He was scrubbing his cape. Man he was going to wreak. "I mean… thanks, Kon. I mean… wow."

Kon wanted to tell someone, he'd stumped the Boy-Wonder! But he couldn't. This was a guy thing and kind of a private thing, and Robin'd do something both horrible and awful to him if he breathed a word about it. "Hey, don't worry about it. But seriously, if you don't like it, complain. The rest of us do enough."

"Thanks, Kon, I really mean it. And… I'll think about saying something to Batman about it." He threw down the paper towel. "So. How do I smell?"