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Re: Going back to school after less than a week?

I will never regret taking the first year off from school and work after each of my boys was born. That is time I will never get back. I would recommend considering a two year program instead, increasing your pay potential and giving you the needed time with your little one now. Going back to work/school after baby is one is sooo much easier. No pumping needed and you get all the snuggle time you could want. I am entering the two year nursing program next year, I was just shy of entrance this year. Online classes are great with a little baby. No need to go anywhere and they don't do much the first few months.

I had a no complication-walking-around-Target-on-day-three-postpartum birth, but what wasn't planned for was at 6 weeks postpartum I developed thyroid problems. I was out for the count. I couldn't even climb a flight of stairs. I wasn't back to health for a few months. My first was an induction and that is no walk in the park either. A cesarean, I couldn't even imagine. I am a certified doula and I would never recommend a client return to work so soon. Too much physical activity can increase bleeding to dangerous levels making you weak, you will likely be very swollen if you receive IV medications, and as a previous poster mentioned if you have a tear you could be very uncomfortable. I could hardly sit right for almost the full eight weeks after my first. I sweat an uncontrollable amount too, that would be hard for me to hide in fitted scrubs.

Your milk supply may not even BE in at three days postpartum. With my first baby it wasn't in until almost five days. You will need to pump/nurse 8-12 times a day. Are you going to be able to get time away from class to do that every two hours? It may take 20-40 minutes per session depending on your pumping set up.

Edit: I see some above touched on these points. Sorry for the broken record!
I know you are determined to do this, and more power to you if you are that determined... but I would seriously consider plan B.

Another thing to consider is that baby will likely be up a lot at night, being away from baby is hard enough to keep your concentration on your work. Imagine being utterly sleep deprived!

Last edited by @llli*only.woman.in.the.house; July 12th, 2012 at 09:02 PM.

“Only with trust, faith, and support can the woman allow the birth experience to enlighten and empower her.” - Annie Kennedy & Penny Simkin

Re: Going back to school after less than a week?

Originally Posted by @llli*victoria.g

I was thinking about keeping her bassinet right beside my side of the bed so we could have some of the bonding without the risk. My fiancee is a very heavy sleeper who rolls around and kicks in his sleep, so I'd be worried about having gher in bed with us as a newborn. Do you think this would be a good compromise?

That is exactly what I did early on. Even though it is very possible to safely bed share with a newborn, I wasn't very comfortable with it when my son was so very tiny. You do get a little more sleep and snuggles when you bed share, but having the bassinet right next to the bed worked well for us in the early days. You can also consider pushing the bed against the wall so that your baby is between you and the wall and your partner is on the other side of you in the event that you find yourself needing a little extra sleep.

I am going to talk to my instructors and do all I can to prepare for unexpected emergencies.

I think this is the thing to do. They can give you a more realistic picture of what is possible within your specific program than any of us can.

Is there anthing else I need to consider, or anything else I should discuss with my instructors?

I would ask if there is a space where you can pump. You can pump in your car if there isn't, but I think it will be easier if there is a space close you your classrooms.

Re: Going back to school after less than a week?

What will your class schedule be and are you able to skip class sometimes?

Here's what I did: I had DD1 one week before fall semester 2005. I talked to all my profs beforehand, told them I'd be missing the first week of class, and arranged for friends to take notes. I started attending the second week of class. However, I only had classes 3 days per week and my DH would bring DD1 to school so I could nurse her in between. I took the lightest possible "full time" course load (12 credits) and, frankly, I skipped class a lot and had friends get me their notes. Starting at about 2-3 weeks, I started pumping and we tried the bottle.

You really should wait as long as possible to introduce the bottle to avoid nipple confusion. If your nipples are damaged at all in the first few days, you do not want to pump because it will cause further trauma. When you do start pumping and introduce the bottle, make sure it is a bottle with a wide-based slow-flow silicon nipple. Some examples are Playtex Naturalatch/Nurser, Avent, or Breastflow. Nurse as much as possible when you are together, have plenty of skin-to-skin time, and co-sleep.

Just some suggestions - I agree that you might want to consider taking a year off. With my first child, I chose to defer enrollment in law school until the following year. I worked and saved money for school and just started a year later. It worked out great for me.

If I had to do it over again with DD1, I would have taken that semester off school and graduated 6 months later. It was super stressful and my grades suffered, although we made it work.

Re: Going back to school after less than a week?

Originally Posted by @llli*mommal

ETA: Shelley, 8 weeks? Whoa. I had always heard 6. I have a friend who's having her 3rd c-section this fall, and I was planning to be there for her for 6 weeks. Looks like I'd better add some time to that plan.

Yep. You get 2 extra weeks if disability and everything.

Originally Posted by @llli*victoria.g

I feel like if I go to school now I will be able to spend more time with her in the future (if I wait ill probably have to work full time while in school and i would never see her then)
When I graduate I am going to find a job that let's me spend as much time with her as possible.

Isn't the minimum amount of time nurses work 3 12 hour shifts? And that is considered part time? I don't think once you get a job you are going to see your kid more. And more importantly THIS is THE TIME that a child needs their mother the most. The 1st three months the baby should be with their mother the whole time. My hope is that you are allowed to take online classes or do that thing where they let you "jump in" the class by scoring high enough on the final. But one you are on the hamster wheel working you are on it. You will never not need to be on it. If your able to survive on your partners income now, and you are going to breastfeed, you will still be able to next year. Breastfed babies don't cost much because you don't need to pay for their food.

Originally Posted by @llli*mumtothomas

I know a woman who had her third baby by c-section and was back in school within a week. It was tough, but she did it. I think you can do it, but it's going to be tough, and it's going to mean giving up a lot of time with her (and for recovering from giving birth).
My doctor told me to allow 8 weeks for recovery from my c-section, but within 2 I was fine--definitely didn't need anyone doing things other than what anyone with a two-week-old needed, but not for recovery from the surgery.

Yeah....but I was still on vicodin for the pain.....which was quite lovely for marathon nursing, snuggling and napping sessions. But not so much for going to classes and taking notes and studying.

Re: Going back to school after less than a week?

I can't imagine going to classes/studying/etc either. If I didn't have a choice I could do it, but I wouldn't want to try, and would only be able to consider it with lots of help. I would also be concerned that if I were doing clinicals (I can't remember if OP will be) that I be exposing the baby to germs she wasn't equipped to fight off.

Re: Going back to school after less than a week?

Skippinf classes isn't an option as I will be dropped if I miss over 50 hours.
I'm already enrolled and start soon, I'm not dropping out (tuition is taken care of, I wont be able to use my scholarships later if I drop out).

I'm looking for tips on making this work.
I know she needs me when she is young but I will only be gone part of the day, and if I get started on school before she is born its less time away in the long run.

As far as the twelve hour shifts, some places work in 12 hour shifts and some work 8. It depends on the facility. After school I plan on working night shifts so I can spend all day with her and her father will be with her at night. Unless of course I can find a schedule that works better.
I don't want to be away from her at all but I would rather be away from her for 8 or 9 months when she won't really remember it than a year when she will.
I understand it will be difficult but that's why I'm looking in to ways to bond when I'm home.

Re: Going back to school after less than a week?

I was in the same boat as you when I had my first (although it was a traditional school schedule). I was half way through school and scared if I did not do it then I would never go back. Mine was born on a Thursday and I was back at school on Monday. It will be hard, but if you are determined, and have an uncomplicated delivery I think you can do this. I know this goes against what everyone else says (and they are all right), but I almost did not even try to nurse at the hospital because everyone told me it would be too hard. To be honest nursing was a just a small part of the difficulty.

First get as much help as you can. Freeze meals, have other plans for housework (mine was be comfortable with filth), plan on having the baby next to you at night, see if you can get someone to bring the baby up to nurse in between classes, get help with the laundry, get someone else to do the shopping for you (or only go once a month for non-perishables and buy fresh stuff only once a week), see if someone could watch the baby at your place for at least the first month (or pick up the baby from your place) …. I think this is where most of my early tears came from. You can do everything, but not well.

Second have a plan and a backup plan for everything. I talked to my teachers and brought the baby with me the first week, and could have longer if she was an easy going baby. I don’t know how breaks are scheduled for you, but I had 10min between each 50min class and they were all over campus. So I would hand pump one side per break and slide into class as the next bell rang. Think through what you will do if the baby gets sick. Can dad take off? Will your relatives be ok watching a sick baby? What about well baby checkups? They go to the doctor a lot when they are little. Every scenario that could happen think through. What if I forget the babies milk at home, can someone pick it up?

Last nursing (what you wanted to know). Get a sling or carrier, and no bottles what so ever while you are home. This means you will need to learn to nurse while doing homework, prepping dinner, and laundry. Only use slow flow nipples with caregivers. Make sure no one feeds your baby right before you will be back. Nurse the baby at the babysitter before you leave in the morning, nurse first thing when you get back. The first month your baby will not need the standard 1-1.5oz per hour you are gone. Make sure no one overfeeds your baby.

And no my now six year old does not remember that I missed out on a lot of her first year, but with everything there will be mommy guilt.

Re: Going back to school after less than a week?

I totally with still-learning's entire post. Very wise words. And those frozen meals are the best!!! So, so, so helpful. The last thing you will want to do postpartum do is cook! Also, in the early weeks your only job is to nurse your baby. Let your partner, family, and friends do everything else. Seriously - EVERYTHING else. Both you and your baby will be learning to breastfeed, and this takes almost constant nursing for many weeks. Set up a nursing station[s] where you have snacks, water, books, everything you need in reach so that you can camp out and nurse your baby all. day. long (and quite possibly all night too). This is what you want to do to ensure successful breastfeeding whether you are going to school, work, or staying home. Then babywear whenever you are not camped out at your nursing station.

You are clearly committed to furthering your education, and that commitment will serve you well. You will also be discussing your plans with the faculty (hopefully very soon), and that is key - the most important thing you can do right now. That is great, and you deserve credit for your dedication to your education and for your efforts to prepare for caring for your baby in such a stressful situation.

I know a lot of what has been said might seem a bit discouraging at times, but I really don't think it is intended that way. It's just that from the perspective of a mama who has been there and done that, such an early separation from your baby is very difficult and risky and under certain circumstances even impossible. But that doesn't mean that you can't try and even succeed; just that you need to be ready for all of those inevitable little bumps in the road that can throw a wrench in your plans. Your emotions will be all over the map after you give birth (those hormones will really throw you for a loop), so it is critically important that you are aware that things will go wrong (they always do) and are as prepared as you can be. Which is what you are doing here.

You also need to know these things so that you can prioritize. Returning to school full time after 3 days with your baby could ruin your chances of successfully breastfeeding. Even if you do everything right, you may not respond well to the pump or your baby may develop a bottle preference and refuse to nurse. There is simply no way to know whether these things will happen or not, but they are possible and you need to determine how important breastfeeding is to you. Are you willing to exclusively pump if your baby refuses to nurse? Are you willing to formula feed if you are not given adequate time to pump at school? These are things that you need to consider. I do hope, though, if you run into problems with pumping or nursing upon returning to school that you know that all of us here will do our best to help you troubleshoot and overcome any problems even if we seem apprehensive about your plans now.

Originally Posted by @llli*victoria.g

I don't want to be away from her at all but I would rather be away from her for 8 or 9 months when she won't really remember it than a year when she will.

I get this; I do. Just understand that although your baby won't remember your absence, it doesn't mean that it won't impact her. The impact may even be far greater than simple memories of you being away at school. That said, lots of women out there have to go back to school or work early and manage to have a very happy, healthy family life. Hey, I went back to work after 2 weeks (although only for two classes a week, and I brought my baby with me); so far be it for me to criticize! It's just that in my own experience, my baby did much better without me when he was older then he did as a newborn. He absolutely loved daycare when I enrolled him at 8-9 months. I know he even misses playtime with his friends while he is home for the summer. He's always ditching me for the daycare kids at the park. So mama's absence really is easier on an older baby, but that doesn't mean that it can't be done with a younger baby.

Again, not trying to be discouraging. I think that you are doing the right thing by trying to get ideas from mamas here. I'm just sharing the insights I've gained from being a working mom. And even though it is so hard to leave your baby, things like cosleeping, babywearing, and breastfeeding all help you reconnect with your baby when you get home.

Re: Going back to school after less than a week?

I know she needs me when she is young but I will only be gone part of the day, and if I get started on school before she is born its less time away in the long run.

Many moms find that it is easier to pursue career goals after their children enter school, so that they both are occupied during the same time frame during the day.

Originally Posted by @llli*victoria.g

After school I plan on working night shifts so I can spend all day with her and her father will be with her at night. Unless of course I can find a schedule that works better.
I don't want to be away from her at all but I would rather be away from her for 8 or 9 months when she won't really remember it than a year when she will.
I understand it will be difficult but that's why I'm looking in to ways to bond when I'm home.

A friend of mine works nights, and her exDH works days. For years now they have opted to not rely on childcare, it has been detrimental for all parties involved. They never got to see each other! Mom got home from work at 5AM, dad left at 6AM, she "slept" until 2PM leaving no one to watch their toddler except to wake mom up for food etc. Dad got home at 6PM and mom went to work at 7:30PM. Since dad had to be up early he had to go to sleep by 9 and once again the toddler was left to his own devices. I am in no way, shape, or form saying that parents that work at night can't watch their kids!! But not having childcare arranged when working differing shifts from your spouse can be very stressful for everyone involved, baby included.

Originally Posted by @llli*still-learning

I was in the same boat as you when I had my first (although it was a traditional school schedule). I was half way through school and scared if I did not do it then I would never go back. Mine was born on a Thursday and I was back at school on Monday. It will be hard, but if you are determined, and have an uncomplicated delivery I think you can do this. I know this goes against what everyone else says (and they are all right), but I almost did not even try to nurse at the hospital because everyone told me it would be too hard. To be honest nursing was a just a small part of the difficulty.

First get as much help as you can. Freeze meals, have other plans for housework (mine was be comfortable with filth), plan on having the baby next to you at night, see if you can get someone to bring the baby up to nurse in between classes, get help with the laundry, get someone else to do the shopping for you (or only go once a month for non-perishables and buy fresh stuff only once a week), see if someone could watch the baby at your place for at least the first month (or pick up the baby from your place) …. I think this is where most of my early tears came from. You can do everything, but not well.

Second have a plan and a backup plan for everything. I talked to my teachers and brought the baby with me the first week, and could have longer if she was an easy going baby. I don’t know how breaks are scheduled for you, but I had 10min between each 50min class and they were all over campus. So I would hand pump one side per break and slide into class as the next bell rang. Think through what you will do if the baby gets sick. Can dad take off? Will your relatives be ok watching a sick baby? What about well baby checkups? They go to the doctor a lot when they are little. Every scenario that could happen think through. What if I forget the babies milk at home, can someone pick it up?

Last nursing (what you wanted to know). Get a sling or carrier, and no bottles what so ever while you are home. This means you will need to learn to nurse while doing homework, prepping dinner, and laundry. Only use slow flow nipples with caregivers. Make sure no one feeds your baby right before you will be back. Nurse the baby at the babysitter before you leave in the morning, nurse first thing when you get back. The first month your baby will not need the standard 1-1.5oz per hour you are gone. Make sure no one overfeeds your baby.

And no my now six year old does not remember that I missed out on a lot of her first year, but with everything there will be mommy guilt.

Great post.

Originally Posted by @llli*phi

I get this; I do. Just understand that although your baby won't remember your absence, it doesn't mean that it won't impact her. The impact may even be far greater than simple memories of you being away at school. That said, lots of women out there have to go back to school or work early and manage to have a very happy, healthy family life. Hey, I went back to work after 2 weeks (although only for two classes a week, and I brought my baby with me); so far be it for me to criticize! It's just that in my own experience, my baby did much better without me when he was older then he did as a newborn. He absolutely loved daycare when I enrolled him at 8-9 months. I know he even misses playtime with his friends while he is home for the summer. He's always ditching me for the daycare kids at the park. So mama's absence really is easier on an older baby, but that doesn't mean that it can't be done with a younger baby.

Again, not trying to be discouraging. I think that you are doing the right thing by trying to get ideas from mamas here. I'm just sharing the insights I've gained from being a working mom. And even though it is so hard to leave your baby, things like cosleeping, babywearing, and breastfeeding all help you reconnect with your baby when you get home.

Loved this input as well.

“Only with trust, faith, and support can the woman allow the birth experience to enlighten and empower her.” - Annie Kennedy & Penny Simkin