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1042: Four-deuce, squad. I'm trying to patch up a broken heart at Cermak and Albany, but whattayou got?

Dispatcher: Oh man, I'm in tears. Robbery victim, 1556 on Pulaski in the snack shop. See complainant--he's very disoriented.

1042: Yeah, I'm sure he is. He maybe should have smoked a little less.

Dispatcher: Eh, I don't know. More is better, I guess.

1140: 1140. Tell 41 to handle that other thing before he does what he's about to do.

Dispatcher: OK, 1141. Handle that before you do what you're about to do.

Unidentified caller: Sounds like a song title.

Dispatcher: 1141, I don't know what it is you're about to do, but whenever you're finished with whatever you're going to do, take a disturbance at 900 N. Saint Louis. See the complainant regarding a son who's drunk and on the street, and he's mentally unstable. Reminds me of somebody I know. OK, 1042, coming in?

1042: Yeah, we're over here on 16th and Saint Louis. They said they called 45 minutes ago for the ambulance and it still ain't here.

Dispatcher: That's 'cause they weren't going to respond at first, I guess.

1042: Is somebody gonna tell 'em to come? This guy looks--he can't walk on his own, man. Michael Jordan's basketball's on his head--that's the size of the lump.

Dispatcher: For you they're doing drugs at 3946 Congress, four or five 17-to-23-year-olds. They're selling drugs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Sounds like an all-night Jewel, huh?

1133: Jewel isn't open that much.

Dispatcher: 1122? Good morning. Start you with a suspicious person at 39 N. Pulaski at the Amoco station. Says here it's a woman sniffing gas from the pumps and smoking. Won't that just be interesting?