It's been a really weird day and a half. Things changed drastically for me after I'd read Emperor Tiny Fists inaugural address. The carnage was apparent as I approached the bus stop to go to the Womyn's March in Seattle. The carnage was real, I stepped over bodies as I ran to the unprotected bus stop. I knew I had to stop at a Walmart and get a shotgun because bears often attack us near public schools. It's a known fact grizzly, and brown bears crave a public education. After that, I made my way to the Army Surplus store to get some body armor because of all the carnage in the city! Every single day it's like NCIS LA out there. We've all seen it, we just didn't know we saw it. Alternative Facts people, you don't know, no one does.

I learned some stuff yesterday, some really important stuff, Baghdad Sean was ready for those horrible press people who seem unaware of the dystopian mess American cities have become. He pounced, he would show them. "This was the most attended inauguration ever, it was yuge," his voice was strong and proud, he knew the truth! "The media is lying about this well-attended event, this is the most popular man to ever be elected to the Presidency in what can only be referred to as a landslide election! California sucks and they aren't real Americans anyway!!" He clicked his heels as he reeled in the direction taking no questions at his first ever press conference. His face was red with pride, he knew he owned them.

In a building not too far from the Whitehouse Pressroom, a camera turned towards our new President William J Lepetomane Biff Tannen, President of the United States of America. He wants to talk to his biggest fans, undoubtedly those Nazi Lying CIA employees, to rail against the media for lying about all the people who came to his inauguration and the evil, terrible, no good lying media. He is popular!

Tokyo KellyAnn went directly to Meet the Press to make sure everyone knows that alternative facts could be facts and Baghdad Sean is right about the lying press! She wants us to know our real enemy is the fake news peddling press. The media always lies about size! Size doesn't matter, it's how you use it, or so I've heard. It's going to be the best four years, yuge, no other four years will be better than this!

Trump's inaugural speech was aimed at his base.The rest of us are his enemies. We need to make it clear that we do not approve of his ideas. Democrats need to oppose virtually every bill proposed by the White House. There are no compromises coming.

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In the News

Two Buffalo police officers were charged on Saturday with felony assault after a video showed officers shoving a 75-year-old man who was protesting outside City Hall on Thursday night, officials said. ...Under New York law, a person who attacks someone 65 or older and is more than 10 years younger than the victim can be charged with felony assault, Mr. Flynn said. If convicted, the officers face up to seven years in prison.

Photojournalist Michael Santiago was part of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette team that in 2019 won the paper a Pulitzer Prize, journalism’s highest accolade, for its breaking news coverage of the Tree of Life synagogue massacre. The Pulitzer judges praised the staff’s reporting as “immersive, compassionate coverage … that captured the anguish and resilience of a community thrust into grief.”

The Ministry of Defence is refusing to reveal the nature or location of the operation involving RAF Reapers, which can be armed with Hellfire missiles, leading to calls for greater parliamentary oversight of Britain’s drone programme.

A federal judge in Denver JUST enjoined the cops from using a number of measures of force against protestors, calling certain actions of officers in Denver and across the country "disgusting." pic.twitter.com/2gMLULDX1E

Powerful @GregJaffe story on a family of four left with nothing after the pandemic hit, forced to live in their car in a parking lot on the outskirts of Disney World — a testament to the economy’s fragility and cruelty https://t.co/4eOZ9Af83Z

New York City is scrambling to hire the roughly 2,500 contact tracers that it needs, at minimum, to reopen safely. The hiring process has been marked by internal strife, bureaucratic delays, and union fights. https://t.co/pxRmjxZttJ via @michael_hendrix