beachy keen

12072010

My kids and I were going pretty much stir crazy this week as record heat of the hot type kept us indoors. Pasty Irish people like us do not fare well in the humid hotty hotness.

Unfortunately, after about two days of that, the wee crib midgets were ready to kill each other, me, and possibly the local weatherman and it became apparent that I needed to bust out my SPF Shirt-In-A-Can and brave the heat just so they’d have somewhere new to bicker.

Lo and behold! Amidst the whining, my phone rang and it was my friend JJ offering to rescue us for the day and chauffeur us to a beach.

Long story short, we made it there. Eventually. At first we could not find a beach. We found a lot of marshes. And we found a restaurant in which Taylor ordered only a lime. But then! Then we did find the beach.

My kids have never been to a beach. I mean, if there is one thing Phoenix lacks, it’s a beach. It also lacks intelligent city planning, but I digress. So we got there and WHOA MOM LOOK AT ALL THAT WATER. WHOA MOM LOOK AT THAT DEAD FISH I bet it could eat a snake right Mom OR MAYBE SOMEONE’S FACE MOM DOESN’T IT DOESN’T IT?

If that fish ate someone’s face and the fish died of food poisoning immediately thereafter, I would like to meet the badass motherfucker who killed a fish by letting said fish eat his face. Just sayin’.

So Maya– at first she was not a fan of all the dirt and the insects and the air touching her skin. All that complaining shit is so par-for-the-course with Maya The Toddler Princess that all she gets from me is an eye roll and then she knows to get on with it; I’m not listening to her whining unless a limb is missing. And got on with it she did.

All in all, I think the concensus from the kids was that beaches are highly awesome and we should live on one.

Maybe someday… After the government gets the face-eating fish population under control.