I may have writen this when I was drunk... i took the liberty of correcting the spelling so you could actually understand it..

Oh em gee call the WAAAHHMMBULAANNCCEE... no one has EVER experienced any kind of the SLIGHT discomfort you are currently experiencing... the official law enforcement MUST be called in order to alert the proper authorities. you are clearly the MOST important person i the world, and the earth revolved around all of your simple problems. Please keep bitching about having to work, clean, live etc.

SHUT IT. IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE. YOU ARE AMONG THE LUCKY FEW WHO CAN BITCH ABOUT SHIT THAT ONE ONE CARES ABOUT. Get over it and move the fuck on. You are the reason the rest of the world hates the USA. eat shit.