Saturday, May 27, 2017

One great thing about this new director is that, as he approaches the shows of #DancingWithTheStars Season 24, he's injecting new life into them. We had our first ever Vegas Night (yes, please! More!) and this week, we have our first ever "Boy Bands, Girl Groups" with guest judge Nick Carter (of the Backstreet Boys, also 2nd place finalist when he was on #DWTS). Although, he's also keeping old favorites, like "My Most Memorable Year" and, of course, Disney Night.

And Maks' injury is healed enough that he's coming back tonight! Oh, so exciting. Let's get started, shall we?

Simone and Sasha are, and have been, one of my favorites all along to win this. They do, um, have some obstacles, however.

Simone Biles may be the most celebrated gymnast in the world, but she hasn't had much time for, you know, that "boy" thing. "I've been on one date," says she in her package.

This week, they are doing a samba to a Destiny's Child song. Sasha attempts to get Simone into the sexy mode that the samba requires. He asks her if she finds him attractive. She says no. In the package, she blushingly admits she does find Rashad handsome. (PSST, aside to Simone: one thing you'll learn, after doing this "sex" thing for awhile, is that what may outwardly appear as handsome--or beautiful--quite often doesn't make for the best lover. So I would bet all of my Whispered Pearls cred on the fact that Sasha is quite the better lover than Rashad.)

Be that as it may... The fact that Sasha was able to pull some sexy out of Simone for this samba is pretty amazing, cause she seems quite clueless on the whole matter.

JUDGES' SCORES: 35 (out of 40, with Nick Carter being the lowest vote)

Remember all those good words I was saying about the new director? I take them back. Look at this.

What do you see on the nightstand? (On both tables, actually.) LANDLINE PHONES. It's 2017, people. Raise your hand if you still use a landline phone. See no one raising their hands? Right. LAME. Ugh.

In any case, Sharna and Bonner are doing (*suck up*) a rumba to a Backstreet Boys song (with Sharna's former partner, Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys, judging). Not as sexy as many rumbas previous.

JUDGES' SCORES: 30 (out of 40)

Nancy Kerrigan brings up a good point. It's been done.

Maybe some of these people have forgotten, but avid watcher Nancy has not. Artem brings up that their song is "Free Your Mind," and says, "Maybe it's been done." Nancy, immediately says, "Yeah. It has. Season 5. Mel B. and Maks."

And she's right. Further, she's also right that Mel B. killed it (also thanks to fantastic Chmerkovskiy choreography, which Artem will never have). PRO TIP: Don't try to redo iconic #DWTS dances. It never works out well.

But they try, anyway. Personally, I think both Artem and Nancy are hindered by their egos. She doesn't give hers enough credit (doesn't think she's good enough, when she is). He gives his too much (he thinks he's fantastic, and he isn't). It's a hard battle to overcome.

The props I can give Nancy Kerrigan is that she succeeded in looking fierce.

OK, maybe not Mel B. fierce, but then, she's had more practice at it. This is "Welcome to Outside Your Comfort Zone" fierce.

JUDGES' SCORES: 33 (out of 40)

On the opposite end of that confidence spectrum is Nick. He may look like a fool doing it, but darn it, he's going to try his best. Gotta love him for that.

Nick calls himself in his package, "the reality TV reject," which, btw, he isn't. We love seeing him on our reality TV, including this one. I really do. Unlike, say Mr. T or Charo, I really do look forward to seeing Nick and Peta dance every week.

On this fun-filled day, they are dancing a jive to The Beach Boys' "Fun, Fun, Fun." I loved this dance. His kicks and flicks were rocking.

It was pretty phenomenal. Normani is really in control of the stage. For Len, though, there "wasn't enough salsa content." Nick Carter, however, thinks they can take this all the way. A plethora of 10s follows.

JUDGES' SCORES: 38 (out of 40)

So, David Ross (of the Chicago Cubs) and Lindsay Arnold (quite a bit younger) have an Argentine tango this week. Very sexual dance. In the midst of it, he does this.

Quite a difficult feat, that. The judges were mostly not very impressed.

JUDGES' SCORES: 29 (out of 40)

Rashad does a Motown boy band (The Four Tops) for his individual dance, as he and Emma tango.

Their dance was just superb. It starts out with four guys, onstage, with Rashad in the sparkly jacket, doing Four Tops choreography. Nice.

I just love that there's a story to the whole presentation. It makes it so much more full.

It helps when the music is great, too. But Emma's choreography! Wow. The concept, the dance, the costumes, the music--everything. I just loved this number.

JUDGES' SCORES: 37 (out of 40)

Now, for those just tuning in, Alan has pretty much been Heather's partner all season, since Maks got sidelined early on with an injury. (In the first week, I was SURE that Heather and Maks were going to win this, especially since she is a dancer, after all.) But she got to dance with Alan instead, who is a good, even great dancer, but he's no Maks.

But also, remember, last week, Heather and Alan danced (in what was not much of a dance and more acting out) to Frozen, since it was Disney week. Underwhelming, to my eyes.

Before the commercial break, they have a little playacting thing where Alan is trying to steal Heather back from Maks again (funny). And in the actual rumba to TLC, the storyline is that Alan comes in with Heather, and Maks steals her away.

In the package, Maks asks Heather if she's received a 10 yet. She pouts and says, "No, I didn't get my Disney 10." (Disney 10s are different, cause they have mouse ears attached.) Maks: "Don't worry. I'm gonna get you this 10."

So, here's the rumba, with a proper storyline, nice costumes, and Maks back, in his element.

So, let me explain something right here. This is a season unlike many in recent memory. Because USUALLY, the public pretty much agrees with the judges. Usually, everything goes along pretty much as it's supposed to.

But here's the thing. Right before they do the team dances (this time boy bands vs. girl groups), they tell everyone that one team is safe, and the other team is all in jeopardy. Currently, at the bottom of the leaderboard (judges' scores), we have: 4. Nick & Peta, 6. Rashad & Emma, 7. Bonner & Sharna and 8. David & Lindsay (Nick & Peta are fourth because they are actually tied with Maks & Heather for fourth).

So that means, the girl groups: (1. Normani & Val, 2. Simone & Sasha, 3. Nancy & Artem, and 4. Heather & Maks--really Heather & Alan) are in jeopardy. That, in and of itself, is pretty shocking. Usually, the person going home is pretty much at the bottom or close to the bottom.

The boy band dances, knowing that they are all safe. Bruno gives them a further instruction: the men have to dance for 20 seconds without their partners. (Of course, they decide to do a stripper/Magic Mike thing.)

It was a whole lotta fun.

JUDGES' SCORES: 33 (out of 40)

In the package, never-really-dated Simone asks Normani: "How do you make this not uncomfortable when he's on you?" (Sasha had instructed her to grab his ass, as a dance move.) Normani doesn't answer, cause Sasha's right there, and says: "What are you two talking about?" (It was funny.)

It was a combination of three songs, The Chiffons, TLC and Fifth Harmony, kind of a girl groups through the ages thing.

So, then a weird thing happened. We are, by now, used to the multitude of lighting effects that #DWTS uses every week, usually to fantastic effect.

Somehow, at the end of this dance, as all the girls pile onto the judges' table (Oh, how I hate those moves), the lights kinda go out, and they are somewhat in the dark.

Which was kind of effective, because it was supposed to be a smoky club that they are dancing in... But only when they turn the work lights on (see below) a moment later, do you really realize that there is a lighting problem.

Tom Bergeron: "To some degree, this has become a radio show, because we lost some lighting."JUDGES' SCORES: 34 (out of 40)

So, who is going home of our girl group girls?

I gotta tell you, as these four get up there, I'm totally believing that the person going home is going to be Nancy (and Artem). Of course. It had to be.

Guess who goes home?

HEATHER AND MAKS! After a perfect score! The booing in the ballroom is the loudest I've ever heard. But remember, this result wasn't because of what she did with Maks tonight (which was magical). It was because last week's dance was underwhelming, at least according to most of the audience.

BIG SHOCKER. I love Alan, but I do believe that if Maks had been there all season, there would not have been this result in Week 6. But also, it was only WITH Maks that Heather had magic. I overall found her kind of blah on her own. No sparkle, compared to all the other competitors. So, that said, I think it was really right and fair that she went home. But it sure took a minute to see all that.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

It's Disney Night at Dancing with the Stars! And you know what that means! (Princesses and fairies and all manner of magical things in the opening number.) Even former DWTS winner Alfonso Ribeiro, now host of another ABC show, America's Funniest Home Videos, to lead the way. Singing! And Dancing! About magic and stuff, dragging along two little kids as they traipse all around the stage, and find various cast members in costume along the way. It's over the top. It's Disney Night!

At first, I wasn't as jazzed about this number, because it's the same costumes Val and his partner memorably wore for "Be Our Guest" to a recent Disney Night. So the number seemed slow, until I realized it was Josh Groban singing and a whole different number from Beauty & the Beast (currently out in theatres).

Well, I love Emma and Rashad, so this foxtrot was great. Also astonishing was that in the package, Emma mentioned that last week's 10s with Rashad (plural) were her first EVER! How is that even possible? Emma is one of the best dancers on this show. Although I guess she has been paired with some loser partners. Still... WOW!

JUDGES' SCORES: 32 (out of 40)

Then, this madness happened. Now, I've watched Nick Viall through three (two?) versions of The Bachelorette, then Bachelor in Paradise (a couple of times?), then, finally, The Bachelor. It's almost like he's always on TV. But in all that screen time, I don't think I've EVER seen him fully clean-shaven. (Although Pinocchio IS a boy, so he would be...) It was still shocking.

Here's the other thing that I recognized when watching this. It's easy (always easy) to dismiss whoever comes on DWTS from The Bachelor. You know it's stunt casting and they are going nowhere, and are usually one of the first ones gone. But Nick's REALLY trying here! Plus, he has Peta as a partner. They really impressed me with this jazz dance.

Judges comment about how vulnerable Nick is, and how great Peta's choreography is.JUDGES' SCORES: 34 (out of 40)

Here's the thing I want you to understand. Both Gleb and Erika wear their sexuality like armour. In Gleb's case (and in the case of this show), it will keep him from ever winning a Mirror Ball trophy. (I promise you.) But in Erika's case, I'm not sure what it's holding her back from, but I'm sure it does. For whatever reason, maybe because it's Disney Night, and that puts one in touch with their inner child... I don't know... Whatever the reason, for this dance, to "Unforgettable," Erika put all that down, and genuinely expressed her vulnerability. It was beautiful, and every single one of the judges commented on it.

That truly, is the magic of Dancing with the Stars, that many stars don't realize when they come in. They surely don't realize the amount of work they are going to be putting their body through, and the grueling schedule that rehearsal is, but also, they have NO IDEA the emotional way that this show changes them. Yet star after star commented about that. This was Erika's moment.

And it was beautiful.

JUDGES' SCORES: 32 (out of 40)

This is a dance show with people who (ostensibly) don't know how to dance. Here's what you can do, if you have someone who is already an actress and a dancer, when you have Disney Night. You can get them to almost recreate scenes from the movie. You can give them bits of business (like throwing off gloves and scarves) that work in effortlessly into the dance. You can get them to punctuate words in the song ("I'm feeling gassy") with an actual burp effect.

Here's what you should NEVER, EVER do though. Don't have them jump onto the judges' console. It seems to me that Heather has TWICE hopped up on the judges' console in two different weeks. In this week, Len looked visibly affronted. (In his judges' comments, he says: "Don't ever touch me!" in a very stern voice. Then says he was kidding. He still does not look amused.

Your main job, as the pro who is teaching, is to get high scores. 10s, if possible. And, to do that, you have to make Len happy by not dancing on the table in front of him. You have to make Carrie Ann happy and not throw in lifts for effect. You have to make Bruno happy by throwing in a little extra sexy now and again. And I'm not sure what makes Julianne happy, but I think it's just good, emotional dance. That's why these are good judges. They balance each other well.

So, when dancer Heather hopped up there, Len was not happy at all.

I must commend the stage crew who truly did a fantastic job of recreating the Frozen world all around the stage for this dance. One big benefit of doing Disney night is that on this night, the crew gets access to all kinds of Disney animation that otherwise would be locked down. And it's just wondrous.

JUDGES' SCORES: 34 (out of 40)

Sharna and Bonner decide to recreate a videogame from Wreck It, Ralph for their tango. Not sure how well it worked, either as a tango or as a videogame. But then, I still have visions of Mark Ballas' amazing Nintendo Freestyle dancing in my head. It's a high bar to match.

Did love the costumes and the set, though.

JUDGES' SCORES: 30 (out of 40)

Season 9 DWTS winner Donny Osmond, who sang the song for the movie, arrives to perform it live. He and Tom have a few moments of banter. Nice.

Normani loved the idea of portraying Mulan to do her paso doble with Val. And, not surprisingly, it was quite wonderful. Even though they used sticks, and had some fight choreography moves, the choreography (by Val) as usual was just stunning.

The judges loved it, across the board. Carrie Ann even calling it "perfection."

JUDGES' SCORES: 39 (out of 40)

They were not as psyched about this jive, even though it was a world-premiere of a new song from Cars 3.

Carrie Ann did note that David "hit every step." However... they ended up receiving the lowest scores of the night.

JUDGES' SCORES: 29 (out of 40)

We come back from break with all the Disney characters (Minnie, Mickey, Donald, Daisy, etc.) out dancing with the judges, who are now out from behind their podium. Tom is standing next to Goofy, whom he says, "is my agent." That man just cracks me up, I swear.

Nancy Kerrigan still seems fraught with insecurity and hesitancy in her steps and movements. However, the judges thought she was the clear star of this number (even though this was the first time she had so many troupe dancers accompanying her). They were dancing jazz to a song from "Enchanted," and Nancy did seem to be having a lot of fun.

JUDGES' SCORES: 36 (out of 40)

Last, but certainly not least, we have our wondrous Olympic medalist Simone Biles, dancing contemporary to the Oscar-nominated song from Moana, "How Far I'll Go." It's sung by the actual Moana, Auli'i Cravalho.

Normally, as I've said before, I pretty much hate contemporary dance. But somehow, Sasha makes the choreography feel like it's just Moana going out exploring. There's not that "contemporary" thing that usually makes me cringe.

And there are echoes of moves that we saw on the Olympics floor, that have now morphed into dance moves. Gymnastic tumbles and rolls across the floor, and Sasha is right there with her. It's beautiful and brilliant, and such a fitting way to end Disney night.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

I really have a love/hate relationship with "My Most Memorable Year" on Dancing with the Stars. Sometimes, it can be really transcendent. Sometimes, it can leave you sobbing. Other times, it's just someone noting that they got cast on some show. Woo hoo. It's always a mixed bag.

(One number left me teary, but we'll get to that.)

The main purpose of it, and it's really a vital one, is to get these now dancers to feel something. They have spent the first couple of weeks finding out how hard this was going to be, as they saw the joke cast members get voted off. Around the time of Most Memorable Year, it's starting to get serious, and it's wise for whoever first came up with this to have put it here.

Let's talk about whatever brings you emotion: your mom, your dad, your heartbreaking injury, your child, whatever. Because then, after this week, their dances always have more emotion than they did previously.

TEAM: Normani and ValMost Memorable Year: 2012Why? Because she joined Fifth Harmony.Poignancy Factor: Three (out of 10)

As far as the "Most Memorable Year" hooha, this was one of the worst for me. The key element is supposed to be THE DANCE, and it's hard to do that when you bring in a worldwide sensation group, and just have them singing in the background.

Also, this was a not-very-sexy rumba that Len Goodman thought didn't have "enough rumba content." And Carrie Ann was irritated that there was a lift (when will these guys learn to stop putting in lifts?).

JUDGES' SCORES: 32 (out of 40)

TEAM: Nick and PetaMost Memorable Year: 2016Why? Because he "found love." (What else is he going to say with Vanessa right there?)Poignancy Factor: Four (out of 10)

So, of course, in the most grand ABC masturbatory show jerkoff tradition (at least until they do Disney Week), they do a rumba to The Bachelor. Which was actually good, and well-conceived. Peta is a pretty great choreographer.

Carrie Ann mentions how it's a bit choppy at the beginning, when Nick is dancing with other dancers, but once he starts dancing with Peta, it becomes "magical."

And it ended, as it should have, when the song is "I Really Love Your Body," with Nick going into the audience and picking up Vanessa for a kiss.

TEAM: Nancy and ArtemMost Memorable Year: 1996Why? The year she had her first child. Then, she found out she was unable to have children after her first, and had six miscarriages.Poignancy Factor: Ten (out of 10)

Nancy just talked about something America probably doesn't know about. She always wanted three children, and really struggled after the first one. (She did end up having three.) So her story is about not giving up when you really want something.

She and Artem danced a quite beautiful foxtrot, nice lighting, nice costumes. Beautiful choreography. Len said that she now separated herself from the pack, and "became a frontrunner," then gives her a 9 for this dance.

JUDGES' SCORES: 33 (out of 40)

Watching someone who really can't dance is not fun. So what do you do to jazz it up for the audience? Well, if you're Dancing with the Stars, you bring in a nice choir, add some snazzy sets, so that there's always something else to look at in the shot.

TEAM: Mr. T and KymMost Memorable Year: 1995Why? He found out he had cancer.Poignancy Factor: Eight (out of 10)

It is a sad story, no doubt. He still can't dance. However, they give it the old college try. He professes his love for God, who got him through his ordeal, and they dance a waltz to "Amazing Grace." With a choir in the background, and the stage looking like a church.

I really like Kym as a dancer, she really does try, no matter who she's given, and she's been given some doozies. Course, she's also been given her current husband, so it's not all bad. But Mr. T? Not one of her best partners.

Tom says to Mr. T: "You get more dapper every week."

Carrie Ann (who always cries during Memorable Year week) is crying. Len mentions how "carefully" Kym has worked with Mr. T. Julianne says, "I'm choked up, too." Bruno: "You really are a good man, and this dance reflected who you are."

JUDGES' SCORES: 28 (out of 40)

TEAM: Heather and Alan (standing in for Maks)Most Memorable Year: 2015Why? The year she got married.Poignancy Factor: Five (out of 10)

You know it's problematic when they met "through MySpace." Ugh. And we get to see lots of pics of her wedding. Call me jaded, but ugh.

Then, they do a cha cha to "Shut Up and Dance" (which has already had other, more memorable dances performed to it on this show). The song is supposed to represent her marriage, or something. She actually does kiss her real husband at the beginning of the song. Then, Alan steps in as him.

But, let's be clear. The LAST song was all about God, and featured a church as a backdrop. This song features a house with a "SOLD" sign on it. *eyeroll*

The dances which win this night, and compel people to rush to the phones to vote for them, are ones which pull tears out of people's eyeducts, not those which really only glorify someone's ego. I mean, sure, maybe she never had six miscarriages, or got diagnosed with cancer, but getting married and buying a house? Ugh.

No, this woman's not a dancer... *eyeroll*

Not surprisingly, though, the judges get all gaga over the dancing. Len was all googoo. Julianne gushed about how there "was so much cha cha content." Carrie Ann "took off a point for the lift, but I still loved it."

JUDGES' SCORES: 35 (out of 40) (highest score of the night so far)

Maks is up next to them as they get the judges' scores, and afterwards, he says: "I just wanna say that I think Alan has proven his case, more than enough, for pro maybe next year."

To which Erin says: "I didn't know you were producing this show. But I guess we have a new producer, and it's Maksim."

TEAM: David and LindsayMost Memorable Year: 2016Why? Cubs won the World Series. "My last year playing baseball ever."Poignancy Factor: Ten (out of 10)

He talks in his package about both how magical the Cubs' win was, but also how important his kids are to him, and how excited he is to spend these next years with them. I dunno, but this whole package moved me much more than Heather's perfect husband and marriage story did.

They do a Viennese waltz to "Forever Young" (and doesn't baseball always make one "forever young"?). The crowd really does go wild. Len gives his judging comments all in baseball signals, which Tom says was, "a little bit of Yogi Berra and a little bit of Curly Howard, is how I see it."

Erin tells David that since tonight is the Cubs' home opener, but there was a rain delay, and in the interim, they played the clip LIVE of David and Lindsay's dance. David was already tearing up, but this makes him tear up even more. He complements "all the support from that group.... I was emotional before I started, with the family... so... I'm glad it's over."

JUDGES' SCORES: 31 (out of 40)

TEAM: Rashad and EmmaMost Memorable Year: 2006Why? "The year I realized what unconditional love is."Poignancy Factor: Ten (out of 10)

Rashad, in his package, talks about how his father was a provider, but distant. How he had a "full scholarship," but then his father had a stroke and diabetes and had to have his leg amputated. Rashad decided to give up his scholarship to move back home.

This was just a stunning dance. Emma's choreography was sublime, it captured so many of the things that were in the package. They danced to a song about loving unconditionally. And then, at the end, Rashad walks to his father, in a wheelchair in the audience and hugs him deeply. If you weren't sobbing before, you were by then.

THIS dance. This is what Most Memorable Year is supposed to be about.

Bruno: "I am mesmerized. I was watching two great artists painting art." Carrie Ann: "You are a born dancer, that was incredible." Len: "It had wonderful, lyrical movement, great lifts. I thought it was fantastic." Julianne, like most of us, is still sobbing. "I can't even talk right now...What you just did, I have no words for. What I'm feeling on the inside. And your vulnerability is so beyond... it gives every man out there the courage to be their true selves."

JUDGES' SCORES: 39 (out of 40) (Highest score of the season so far)

It's kind of almost a sacriledge, that after the last poignant, powerful, moving and emotion-filled dance that we have this next.

TEAM: Erika and GlebMost Memorable Year: 1989Why? "The year I moved to New York to find my dreams."Poignancy Factor: One (out of 10)

As I said, the ego-filled dances/goals/memories are the ones that succeed the least. Just look at the picture. And she was dancing a "cha cha" to Madonna's "Express Yourself."

And I have also said, frequently, that the only thing in Gleb's toolbox is sex.... Well...

Len: "It's a bit of same old, same old. You go down this sexy route. If you wanna do that, you do that."

When they are back with Erin, Gleb grabs the mic as Erika is talking and says: "No, Len, we're not going to do less sexy. We're going all the way." *sigh* (Gleb, season after season now, deludes himself with thinking he can do this the way he wants to, and get in the finals. Guess what Gleb...?)

JUDGES' SCORES: 30 (out of 40)

TEAM: Simone and SashaMost Memorable Year: 2000Why? "The year I was adopted."Poignancy Factor: Nine (out of 10)

Simone talks about how her mother was drug and alcohol-addicted, and when she was really young, she remembers being "really hungry." Her mom kept going into and out of jails, and finally she ended up in foster care.

They dance just a beautiful Viennese waltz (Sasha just does such brilliant choreography). Just so perfect and wonderful. At the end, her adoptive parents are in the audience, and she runs up to hug them both. Then, quick-thinking Tom Bergeron brings them both up onstage as Simone gets her scores.

Judges, not surprisingly, loved it. Especially because, in addition to her usual perfection, she was also showing emotion.JUDGES' SCORES: 36 (out of 40)

TEAM: Bonner and SharnaMost Memorable Year: 2016Why? The year of his bull-riding accident that almost killed him.Poignancy Factor: Eight (out of 10)

Sharna is such a superb choreographer. And I'm partial to the dances which tell a story through the choreography, as this did. Just stunning to watch. Really nice, content-filled foxtrot, and they both looked so elegant performing it.

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I’m a hard-working journalist/blogger who takes this job every bit as seriously as one in a brick-and-mortar location. I’ve been a critic (film, theatre, music) and an entertainment writer. I’ve worked just about every job in a newspaper or magazine except sales and cleaning crew. I’ve watched technology jump leaps and bounds, and am still trying to keep up. My manifesto, in this blog and elsewhere in my writing, is to always be honest to my audience. I hope you enjoy my writings. I’m still trying to figure out a way to make this more interactive. So please comment! Let me know what you think. Thanks.

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