"It takes me 25 minutes to get it right," he brags. "Greatness takes time, and this hair right here is greatness. I have it down to a tee, but this is a process right here."

He and chiseled housemate Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino also spend plenty of time in the gym for that requisite six-pack. "The Situation's" moniker apparently comes from what happens when women eye his washboard abs.

"You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody who looks like Rambo, pretty much, without his shirt off?" he said famously in the series premiere.

"It's about a lifestyle," adds Jenni, a.k.a. "J-WOWW" (because when she walks into a club, all the guys go, "J-Woww!") "The hair, the makeup, the tans . . . being fit. It's all preparation for the summer."

Tiny firecracker Nicole Polizzo, a.k.a. "Snooki," also took the opportunity to bash the cast from "The Hills" for being total phonies.

"We are better than 'The Hills,'" she tells Us Magazine, explaining that unlike the scripted California drama, the Seaside Heights crew "is all real."

This, coming from a girl who admits to slathering on makeup before going to the gym.

The eight 20-something cast members are doing something right, however, as ratings for "Jersey Shore" spiked 50 percent in its second week. Last week's show attracted a whopping 2.1 million viewers.

"The Hills," on the other hand, saw their numbers slump to 1.72 million in October, compared to the 2.6 million fans who tuned in the same time last year.

As far as the detractors complaining that the show depicts negative Italian stereotypes, "we're only seven days in," argues "The Situation," "so you have to give us a chance. You can't judge a book by its cover."

Judging from their beauty regimen, however, isn't that exactly what they want?