Colon Explosion. We're symphonic-thrash-punkcore. Everyone has a goatee regardless of whether they want/can actually grow one. We cannot actually play instruments, but are fond of the idea. We disbanded in 1992 but continue to meet up for coffee on Saturdays.

(but really, that was my "rock band" (the video game) band. the drummer was an elderly black man a-la morgan freeman named pop corn [he had an awesome shirt in the spirit of 3-wolf moon], i, supercarrot was the vocalist, and gosh, i don't remember the guitarists' names. maybe one was maizy? the other cornelia?)

i'm best known for my work in st. james the great church. it's like a cross between the cocteau twins and radiohead, with more toy piano. sufjan stevens and jonsi like to jam with us. but recently i've been spending a lot of time on my side project, fancy dan master of judo, which is basically just me and a banjo and a lot of glam rock covers.

_________________"rise from the ashes of douchebaggery like a fancy vegan phoenix" - amandabear"I'm pretty sure the moral of this story is: fork pants." - cq

My fake band is always The Beefless Tacos, an all-vegan girl punk band.

_________________"The Tree is His Penis"

The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear

Our first album, "Waking Up With Bruises", was a surprise hit.Our sophomore effort, "Chili Toothpaste", was not well received. We surprised everyone with our third album "Mr. Wayhoo Gets Funky", which went gold.

_________________I once caught the clap from a salty navy bean on shore leave. Damn beans.--Desdemona

oh, yeah, they're fine, you know? i guess it's just hard to get our sound across with, like, words? you really need to feel it. we use toy piano to remind people of their lost innocence, so it's, like, this far-away sound under all this other beautiful, terrible stuff that's also just noise. it's not your fault if you're having trouble imagining it. it's a pretty new sound. we might have invented it. i mean, i don't know for sure, but i'd say we probably did.

_________________"rise from the ashes of douchebaggery like a fancy vegan phoenix" - amandabear"I'm pretty sure the moral of this story is: fork pants." - cq