Published scoops - Satire

NEW YORK—According to emergency personnel, early estimates indicate that more than 42 million Americans were killed this past weekend in what is now believed to be the bloodiest Black Friday shopping event in history.

HEMPSTEAD, NY—According to reports, millions of viewers across the country are expected to tune in to tonight’s town-hall-style presidential debate at Hofstra University in order to determine which complete and utter sociopath they find more likable this time around.

It's weird how proud people are of not learning math when the same arguments apply to learning to play music, cook, or speak a foreign language.
The only things you HAVE to know are how to make enough of a living to stay alive and how to get your taxes done. All the fun parts of life are optional.

This is a piece looks as though it was written with the intent of being pro government propaganda... I think it completely backfired.I actually found it to be full of good advice on things no freedom lover should ever do.

kid·nap
[kid-nap] Show IPA
–verb (used with object), -napped or -naped, -nap·ping or -nap·ing.
to steal, carry off, or abduct by force or fraud, esp. for use as a hostage or to extract ransom.
Origin:
1675–85; kid1 + nap, var. of nab

Cool song, "My Country My Ass", could be played in parts or used as filler or intro on the FTL.
Good verses, basically discredits lies told by gov. teachers, leeches & others to the Americans over the years.

Recently, when enjoying some food and drinks with my bud Adam (a sponsored athlete of Marijuana Muscle) on his property, an unexpected and unwelcome visitor stopped by. As you’ll see, that visitor not only rude and arrogant, but he acted as if he knew how to run our lives and use our property better than we did. What a fool.