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Sunday, September 16, 2007

Hudson is such a sweet little baby. He is also incredibly good to me. He sleeps and eats so well and gives his momma plenty of rest. He ate at 9:30 and now at 3:15 am he's still fast asleep in his bed. Me, however, I'm the one up crying.

You see, I got an unexpected call last night, and I found out some friends very, very dear to us are leaving. I've never been so sad while in the candle aisle at Target, and I don't think I'll ever stand in the candle aisle again without thinking of that call!

At first I was a little stunned, and as my friend explained what was happening further I had to fiercely guard my emotions so I wouldn't break down right there in the middle of Target. I ended up making it out of the store, but, (like I told you on the phone!) I cried the second I hit the seat in my car.

We've parted ways with many friends because of moves, etc, and usually saying goodbye is bittersweet. You will miss them, but you're so thankful for them, and you know you'll always do the Christmas card thing, and you'll catch up via email from time to time, maybe a phone call here or there. Goodbye is sad, but it isn't that bad, you'll keep in touch. Then there are the friends that fall in to that other category. That kind of friend. Those aren't as easy to come by. The one who, when you're up late at night and can't sleep over something that you know won't be as big of a deal in the morning after sleep and reason, but right now it consumes you- it's that friend that you call and you know they don't mind listening to you until you feel better. I'm losing one of those friends. We're losing some of those friends. Not just Jim and I, but our girls, and Hudson too, though he won't remember them living here. They are losing some wonderful godly role models and sweet friends that they love. And all of the sudden I'm regretting how little time we spent together, now that I know they're not going to be around forever. Oh, I'm sure we'll do the Christmas card-email-occasional call thing, but I also know that when they leave, there's going to be a big, big hole where they used to be in our life. I know the nature of their job includes many moves, and I should have been prepared for this to happen, but I still feel the loss, the loneliness of knowing my that friend is moving states away.

This is not a horrible situation, of course. Not bad news, but sad news. It's just the next step in what God has for them. As I received this news in the midst of thinking so much about the blessing in following God's will for our lives (see previous post), how could I not receive this news with joy,too? I'm so excited for them, that they've received clear confirmation from the Lord that this is His will for them and in that, we know He's got good in store, for His glory. There's no better place for them to be than where He leads them. Right now I'm so sad that He's leading them away from us, but of course, it's His best- how could I fight against that?

So, I'm going to try very, very hard to not let her know the hundred things I've thought of tonight to make me said about their leaving. I won't list all the reasons to her, and instead I'll just make sure she knows she is very loved and will be missed very, very much. And then I'll try to think of and do anything I can to make this time of their lives easier as they prepare to leave and begin again somewhere else. I will try very hard to be useful and loving, and not just emotional about this.

I'll probably still cry occasionally as their time to leave approaches, and I'm sure I'll still cry a little after that, but-

Jim and I really are so excited for the three of you, and all that God has in store as you enter this next chapter of your lives. We love you all very much and we will all miss you very, very much. We will anxiously await the Christmas cards-emails-occasional phone calls to hear all the great things He's doing in your lives in this new place!