How to be a popular geezer vegan

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Carol Adams, Patti Breitman and Virginia Messina’s come-to-edamame book, “Never Too Late to Go Vegan,” bills itself as “the over 50-guide to adopting and thriving on a plant-based diet.” There are many up-sides, of course, but the authors also face some side effects not so positive. A recent survey found that “many over-50 vegans” said “they were no longer invited by friends to join them for a meal.”

To remedy that situation, the authors offer five tips for talking with non-vegans, as summarized in the Mar. 3 newspaper column. Below, I have parenthetically added fictional overheard conversations:

— Don’t talk about your veganism when your pal is chowing down on a burger or lapping at an ice cream cone. (“Say, did you see that story in last week’s Chronicle last week about beef cattle with eye cancer?”)

— If they ask a question you don’t want to answer, don’t. Tell them to look it up on the internet. (“You want to know about the meaning of life for chickens no longer required to raise eggs? Google it, baby.”)

— Try answering a comment with a one-liner. For example, the authors say, if someone says it must be hard being a vegan, you can say, “It was harder for me to live with the awareness of what I was doing eating meat and dairy and eggs.” It’s not quite “Take my wife …” but I guess it’s a one-liner. (“Didja hear the one about the two Irishmen who walk into a slaughterhouse … ”

— If someone says something with which you disagree, begin your response with a compliment, such as “That’s an interesting point.” (Or “I love your shade of nail polish.”)

— If your non-vegan pal becomes ill, it’s a good idea to refrain from observing that the sickness is due to consumption of meat or dairy. (“Most people eat milk and dairy; everyone dies. And you don’t think there’s a link?”)

Equipped with such social tips, everyone’s bound to love you, particularly cows. Breitman will be at the San Francisco Vegetarian Society Meat-Out on Mar. 16.