Episode Summary

Statistically speaking, there's no way you don't give the Heisman trophy to Oklahoma quarterback Jason White. The numbers are just stupid. He has 40 TD passes, 6 picks and has completed 65% of his attempts. He should win the hardware and he will win. Just don't tell me that the Heisman should go to the best player in America because White isn't that. He's not even the best player on his own team. Pittsburgh wideout Larry Fitzgerald is the best player in America. Period. Trust me, he doesn't even want the Heisman. Ever since Gino Torretta won one, nobody does. Memo to Ohio St. Fan: Despite the fact that you went bezerk on both this show and in the jungle for the last two weeks, I am not going to pile on after Michigan ripped the Big Ten title from you, knocking you out of both the championship picture and the Rose Bowl. But I will pose one question. Does my commenatary of last week make me a west coast and Pac-10 honk, or does it just make me right? Apology accepted, no harm no foul. And no, you can't put this one on quarterback Craig Krenzel. If you're looking to blame someone, blame it on Michigan, they have better players than you do. After inexplicably getting love from New York Knick fans recently, Kobe Bryant admitted he has "reached a breaking point, with people talking about my family, who have nothing to do with the situation, dragging them into this and saying false things about them…that really pisses me off." The guy still doesn't get it. He's the one who dragged his family into this. He was the one who did this to himself and his family. And he did it the second he decided to have sex with a woman who was not his wife. Incredibly, he has convinced himself that he and his family are the victims. This is on you and only you, Kobe. End of story. You have to love that MLS championship game between the Chicago Fire and San Jose Earthquakes. Even better, is the fact that Chicago calls itself the "Fire". Nothing like naming your soccer team after one of the biggest disasters in the history of the city. Same with San Jose and their nickname, the Earthquakes! I mean, what's better than the prospect of all of us sliding into the ocean when the big one finally does it? I like this trend. The MLS should expand to Waco, so we can have the 'Waco FBI Fire Bombers'. Or maybe the Galaxy could change their name to the 'LA Race Riots'. Or maybe the MLS can go international with the 'Hiroshima A-bombs'. Oh, and as far as the outcome of that game? I don't know and I don't care. Really, no one does This controversy involving ESPN's show Playmakers is hilarious. NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue's objection to the show is laughable. Most people know the difference between a fictional TV show and real life. Rae Carruth is sitting in a jail cell after putting out a hit on his pregnant girlfriend. That really happened. Diedre Lane killed her husband Fred Lane. That really happened. Future Hall of Famer Ray Lewis stood nearby as a couple of guys were stabbed to death in Atlanta the week of the Super Bowl. That really happened. Hall of Famer OJ Simpson killed a couple of people. (allegedly) That really happened (allegedly). Just last week, William Green's fiance stabbed him in the back, while he was serving a four game drug suspension. That really happened. Look in the mirror, Tags! Instead of gripping about a TV show that we all know is ficitional, spend some time cleaning up your own house. Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky is falling. She told GQ magazine that she has trouble getting dates. Hard to believe that dudes don't want to get with a portly, hand bag designing, presidential homewrecker.. You have to love this misfit complaining about anything. She becomes famous for getting with the married President of the United States, basically gets him impeached and wants us to feel sorry for her because she can't meet anybody. Nice try. Besides, what happened to her boyfriend? You know, that married teacher with the ponytail? And one more thing, take your blue dresses to the cleaners for goodness sakes. Jerry Lee Lewis was arrested this week in 1976 for screaming and toting a gun outside of Graceland, demanding that he be allowed in to see Elvis. Twice. And although he may have been acting like a nutcase then, that's still only the second weirdest thing he has ever done. Nothing will ever top his marrying his 13-year old cousin. Jerry, put the gun down, stop marrying your kin and leave the King alone.moreless

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