1) Both cakes must be of the same subject matter, and the same basic form or shape.2) The "winning" Wreck shall be the subject of scorn at company water coolers the world over for exactly one business day: no more, no less.3) There are no other rules.

And....Begin!

Well, folks, the Pastel Piranha came out swinging, taking full advantage of all that lumpy icing to better showcase its full pound of edible glitter. It's also showing its true colors "airbrush" style, and frankly, I think that creepy smiley face just may take home the prize today.

Ah, but wait, what's this?

OH! A devastating entrance has been made by Crazy Clash!

Wow, just look at that form. The hypnotic swirls, the glistening green slime, the death-pale torso! Crazy Clash may not float like a butterfly, my friends, but its design certainly is stinging my retinas like a particularly feisty bumblebee, I can tell you THAT.

What do you think, readers? Do we have a winner?

Michelle B. and Heather N., don't tell me this was staged: that just takes all the fun out of the sport.

That green on Crazy Clash is positively urp-tastic.On a side note, my husband and I are supposed to be providing cupcakes for my daughter's dance team for homecoming and I had to use this blog as an example of why we did NOT want the cupcakes to be airbrushed.

Do I spy a frosting decorating tip in wreck #1? It's funny to me how many people take the time to make these cakes and pass them off as a purchased "professional" but forget to move the cake decorating tools out of the background. I give it a "B" as in Bravo!!!

This may be a "just me then?" moment but I see Mr Hanky (from South Park)in both of them.

For the sheer "none shall sleep after ingesting this much colouring and glitter" factor, it has to be number 1 for me. Sure, number 2 has outstanding ugliness in it's favour but it's not going to physically damage the eaters in the same way.

While they're both awful, I'm going to vote for Crazy Clash as the worst. While looking at Ashanti's cake, I wrinkled my nose, but when looking at Crazy Clash, I had a, "Wait. Huh? WTF? Why?" moment. That beats out a wrinkled nose any day.

Have to give it to Crazy Clash. #1 was able to spell, and their handwriting's pretty good, given the subject level. #2...isn't that a pink plastic "happy birthday" on a stick? Meaning that all they had to write was "Megan"?

I've gotta go with Pastel Piranha. I mean seriously, glitter? Ew. And the fact that the color combination reminds me of when I ate a snow cone, got car sick, and threw up pastel colors. The second one looks sweet in a I-hired-a-10-year-old-to-decorate-for-me way.

Crazy Clash wins as the bigger wreck. While it may be Megan's 9th birthday, it is apparent that 9 is not such an important age (or they don't really like her) based on the tiny 'Happy Birthday' on the left of the cake. Either that or the decorator was so concerned about spelling that they decided a pre-made greeting was the only way to avoid a huge mistake and end up on Cake Wrecks. My suspicion, however, is that it was neither of those things. I think this cupcake wreck was ordered for two people (remember Ashley & Glenn from June with the cheap mom?), and they forgot to put the other kid's name underneath the 'Happy Birthday' where they left a lot of space for it.

The one with the maggot looking creature down the center of what vaguely looks like the USA is the wreckiest. The glittery creation at least looks like something your average 6 year old might describe for a birthday cake...."And I want lotsa glittery, Mommy! And a butterfly in pink, and blue, and purple! Won't it be the prettiest evah?"

For me Crazy Clash is the clear winner with number 2, if for no other reason that the particular wreck looks more like a maggot centered between two pieces of meat in various stages of decomp than a potential butterfly.

I wouldn't mind eating glitter... you know, when compared with eating a maggot.

The #2 entry is obviously a reference to the current Presidential election. Traditional swing state Ohio on the right, Alaska on the left. Probably the mirror image would've been more accurate politically - that must've been an intended Wreckiness as well. #2 gets my vote!

Oh, wow. These two are baaaad CCCs. But Crazy Clash is by far the more horrendous. It's like Megan's mom was trying to reconcile her daughter's loves of cute little pink butterflies and Ghostbusters in one poorly done cake.

Am I the only one who thinks most CCCs would be better looking and less sugar-overload-gross if they were individually frosted and just arranged/pushed together?

Definatly #2. The first one I am have definate doubts that it was a professional done cupcake wreck (frosting tip and colors in background) Buuuuuut, for not a professional cake, it still looks tons better than the second one which is awful and makes no sense! lol.

Wow. That's a tough decision. Both entries have their...merits, for lack of a better word.

In the end, though, I have to vote for Crazy Clash. The Pastel Pirhana had a lot going against it, but not only do Crazy Clash's wings completely, well, clash, there's also the tiny smooshed up writing, the nine candle shoved halfway down some poor kid's overiced cupcake, and the generally sloppy execution. Did you notice how much icing had already run down the sides of the cupcakes on the edge?

Crazy Clash has definitely won my vote as well as my eternal derision.

My vote is with Pastel Piranha as the very sight of it saddens me that and I enjoy cheering for the underdog.

Though Crazy Clash doesn't really make sense, what's with the the plastic "happy birthday" sign at the center of the pink ripples? It's as though the sign is leaking into the blue water, tainting it with toxic wrecky poison.

Okay, okay, I talked myself into it, I'm going to have to cast my final vote for Crazy Clash.

I'm *really* having trouble with the notion that these are "professional" (i.e. paid for)!

However, I'm going to take the leap of faith in CWs and vote. Now... Now I'm having trouble with which is worse, because every time I'm looking at one, I think "definitely this one" and then I look at the other and... same thing.

I'm going to go with what appears to be the underdog here (PP - #1) because while butterflies don't have mismatched wings, each of CC's might be - with some suspended disbelief - close. Diagonal stripes? Every time I look at them, they make me angry. Plus, the "Happy Birthday" encroaches on the body. I mean: "Think Ahea|"!

Cake number one was a solo affair - a bad one, but the blame can only go in one direction. There is at least, some continuity, albeit hideous. However, cake number two, Crazy Clash is obviously the work of a TEAM of numbskulls working independently, each with his/her own vision(optical impairment). CC ends up looking like a ghost trapped between a rainbow and a bright green hedge. Yikes.And then there's that perfect "9" as if in absolution.

Shannon - Poor little Megan! Everything about her cake is wrong - from the unrelated color schemes, to the misshapen butterfly wings, to the size of the writing. A tiny "happy birthday" compared to her name in large letters, and the large 9 candle in the corner. This one is by far worse than the other.

my eyes are spinning hypnotically in the swirly design of the second cup cake butter fly wreck! I am so totally agreeing that cup cakes shoudl be totally banned from cake hood forever! the only cool one i have ever seen was the cookie monster one.

I have to say that the Pastel Piranha is the winner. Crazy Clash's lines are more even and well done, while the Pastel Piranha's face looks like it was drawn on with somebody's feet. The writing on Crazy Clash is confined to the wings, while the Pastel Piranha's seems to be taking over its torso. Also, Crazy Clash seems to be more symmetrical than the Pastel Piranha.

Wow, those are both bad! Number two looks like...well, No. 2. (Eww!) I had to think about it long and hard, but I've finally decided that Pastel Piranha is the more nauseating. It could be because it reminds me of the Care Bears movie my daughter made me sit through 27 years ago that I've still not forgiven her for.

Number 2 by a long shot. The colors on the first aren't great, but at least the lettering matches and is well spaced. Number two has teeny tiny happy birthday in I think a toothpick and a huge name. WTF?

My vote is for pastel puke! That cake is too crazy to be taken seriously (which I think it is meant to be) and the other one was clearly asked for specifically because why would you have two different colors? Awful! Both!

#2 is a default winner here, because as a couple of other people pointed out, the top one was decorated at home on the table. I see both wilton icing color pots and a decorator tip in the top of the photo...and I don't think any store has wooden tables that they do their decorating on...however, #2 would win anyway, so I guess it's like 6 of one, half a dozen of another. :-D

I think I vote for the pink-and-purple monstrosity, since the smiley face is messier. But it's close!

I actually considered making a partially-cupcake cake for my son's upcoming birthday. I think I may, in spite of the wrecks I see, lol. I want it to look like a John Deere tractor, and there's no way I can do that with a regular cake. But if I can figure something out with 8" squares and rounds.....

No way are these even professional CCcakes and they are most definitely made at the same place. Exact same boards and exact same table? With decorating stuff in the back of one pic? I think this was a bakeoff/decorate-off but between kids.

And if I'm right (and I'm pretty sure I am) I abstain from voting because it's not fair to knock kids' decorating skills.

I think I gotta say #2, just because of the (LOUD, it's true) coordinating color scheme on butterfly 1. But 2 is not only the wings from 2 poor, bisected flutterbies stuck on a dead caterpillar, but look at that (tiny) happy birthday and Meagan! obviously a stock cake personalized with no attempt to match inscription design I'd say it takes the (cupcake)cake, so to speak.

#2 is the clear winner. Not only do the wings not match, but the body looks like Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo from South Park. #1 may be glittery and airbrushes, but it can't compare to the horror of #2.

I'm voting for #2, just because of the mismatched wings. That being said, um, do the bodies in the middle look, uh, phallic to anyone else? Especially Crazy Clash. In the first one, it just looks like a pickle.

I thought they had to be professionally done. The first one I would guess, okay...from some kind of bakery [y'know the one...were the decorators are all on 'ludes?] but the second one? No way...professional how?

Is it fair to say just because you took ONE cake decorating course at Michael's and advertise in the "Pennysaver" it shouldn't really be considered "professional"? My goodness that second cake was made by someone who hasn't seen a color wheel chart in quite a few years, if ever.

Sorry, I don't know how some of these cakes escape, let alone people PAY for them. I hope they are getting these wrecks gratis, because besides looking inedible I can only imagine how nasty they are. ick.

The decorator was obviously so proud of the first set of wings that they couldn't bear to actually put additional frosting that might cover up their work - hence the plastic "happy birthday".

They attempted to re-create the design of the first wing, but failed and decided to coat it in a green goo, the only substance that could possibly hide their mistake. But fortunately, the green goo would not be over-powered by additional frosting, so they were able to actually write the name.

Or else this is a recreation of the rare bi-winged tie-dyed/green-gooped butterfly that we all thought was extinct back in the 70s. Fascinating creature!!!

My daughter sometimes colors pictures of butterflies in a non-symmetric manner. She's 4. Even she knows what they're supposed to look like though, and often designs just one wing and then asks me to color in the other one to match!

She would love the pink and purple glitter on entrant #1, so I don't count it as a wreck for those reasons. But when I made her a glittery pink and purple butterfly cake for her birthday, it was NOT a mass of cupcakes but a real cake, the wings were symmetric in both shape and decoration, and there was no airbrushing involved. Oh, and there were no smiley faces involved either!

I vote for Crazy Clash, at least the colors on Pastel Piranha are pretty, and sparkly!

And as for the icing tip in the picture, it looks like it's filled with white, they could have just picked the "cake" off the shelf and wrote the words on it at home.

Which leads to two even worse situations: that that wreck was sitting out for all the world to see as a representative of the "fabulous" work the bakery does, and that someone either thought that was the best option available at the time, or that it was actually pretty. "OMG, glitter frosting, must have!"

Oh, I think it's a draw. I think they're equally wrecktastic.BTW, I gave you an award! Check it out at http://ethanzachemma.blogspot.com/2008/10/more-awards.html.Thanks for the laughs you give me every day! Esther

What always scares me is that either the butterfly's head is on backwards...or he's been pinned on his back to a cake board. The second one just looks "beginner" but the first one looks...well..it wins..

Wow, I had to go back and forth for a while, but the writing is quite nice on the pink cake, and while the blurry stunned smile is a little creepy and the stripes obey no butterfly symmetry rules, the second cake is worse.

It's completely asymmetrical, the 9 candle is just weird and WHAT is with the green slime? Is there a story we're missing here about a butterfly caught in a toxic waste dump?

If I could have one cupcake from either cake, though, I'd choose a white one with part of the smile on it from the second entry.

Despite the obvious troubles with Crazy Clash..the puke green color, crazy swirl of doom, icing running out the door (probably cause it is frightened), the weird Happy Birthday, and ugly writing on the poor girls name..the worm in the middle looks so happy!

Crazy Clash definitely does it for me. Pastel is at least not intolerable to look at, and they were able to be consistent with the stripes in color and placement on both sides. #2 just looks like a mummified butterfly that got taken advantage of by those psychotic things from The Yellow Submarine, i.e.: http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3724384768/tt0063823.

I didn't know neon could pass for pastel...Clearly, the airbrush gun was a very recent purchase - for both decorators.I second all the 'poooooor Megan!!' comments, and 'WTF w/ the toxic slime?' The 9 has already begun melting into it!I hope Megan and ashley (of eeyore-eagles "sharing" fame) just took their fists and smashed their respective "cakes" immediately after these photos were taken. What other natural response is there for a child upon receipt of such....wreckitude?

p.s. *lovelovelove* your site, Jen. just found it a couple of days ago, and have been crying ever since - from laughter, obviously. Kudos!

it's got to be #2, really. The lack of basic biological knowledge about butterflies having THE SAME COLOUR WINGS ON BOTH SIDES would clinch it alone, but the fact that the body looks like a grub that you might expect to eat if you were starving in the outback, rather than celebrating a birthday party, carries it WAY into the lead.

I will say this for cake one: it's awful, but in a more 'meant' looking way. Plus, you'd have multicoloured, glittery - and who doesn't want that?

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What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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