Thank God This Isn't Your Resume'

Thank God This Isn't Your Resume'

At least we hope you didn’t send in one of the resume’ entries below. Grab a nice cold beverage, sit back and enjoy these worst resumes ever brought to you by recruiters John Reed and Rachel Meyers. If something about one of them seems eerily familiar, slink into the carpet and crawl out the door. Go ahead. We won’t say anything.

Avoid the Irrelevant. Yes, sometimes being thorough is a bad idea. Case in point…

“When I’m not programming, I perform magic. I like solar applications, optical stuff, cool technology and anything to do with radio waves. I juggle and twist balloon animals. I bungee jump on occasion, and I would like to experience skydiving soon.”

Be specific, except when you shouldn’t…

“Since the project was coming to a close and it was obvious I was leaving anyway, after the last bugs were fixed, I was fired, and my credits in the game were all but removed to make it more difficult to get a job with a competitor. It’s a given that Mike Stevenson, my old boss, has been calling up everyone in the industry spreading God only knows what types of hideous rumors about me, to scare off any competitors from hiring me.”

There’s a fine line between self-confidence and insanity…

“My objective is simple: I want your job. I don’t mean the one I’m applying for, but your job. I’m a communications major with a minor in creative writing at a California school. I still have two semesters to go, but I know more than some of my teachers. Once I hit the real world, though, you’re gonna hear from me.”

That’s all we have the stomach for now. Thanks to John and Rachel for saving and sharing these truly atrocious examples of resume’ styles. If you don’t see anything wrong with what we just presented, stop job hunting right now until a boulder falls on your head and knocks some sense into you. That’s all.