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Sunday, March 23, 2008

Journey of Love

It all started over History, Politics,A touch of EconomicsOver two cups of tea.

It proceeded over packets of milk,Issues of a magazineAnd a bike ride through crowded market streets.It strengthened over the birth of a newsletter:The prolonged but joyful labourAnd the shared triumph.

It was nurtured by unspoken but understood feelings:The grief of one,The steadfastness of the other.

It was sundered by blind resolve,By poisonous tongues,By inadequate trust.

It survived months of distance ,Of silence,Of feelings of betrayal.

It revived through one sudden wish:By one taking back her destiny into her hands,By the end of silence.It blossomed through the reaching out of both,The building of trust,The discovery of each other – and themselves.

It heightened in the meeting not just of minds,But of soulsAnd of bodies.

It was marked by a recognition by law,By custom,By society.

It lives on through honesty,Through their needAnd their happiness.Explanation

We started talking - really talking - in the college canteen, where I remember the Guy once gave me a long lecture on Chanakya... Somehow that's one of my fondest memories....

For our summer training, he worked at Amul researching their milk distribution, and I at Outlook trying to boost sales. Both of us needed to visit various markets and talk to shopkeepers. It was a hot, weary summer, and one day we decided to go together. Neither of us were from Delhi, and it was easier to find addresses together: plus I got free rides!

We actually first began to meet and talk because we were made the team for bringing out the newsletter. It took us months of work and overcoming bureaucratic obstacles before the newsletter was finally out: and by the launch we were the best of friends.

My father died, and I was in shock for months. The Guy stood by, then, trying to make sure I was never alone: he seemed to sense, instinctively, that solitude was hell for me right then.

And for reasons that I didn't probe well enough then, I stopped talking to him.

We got jobs in different cities, and didn't bother to keep in touch. He wrote me one email that I deleted. We didn't even have each other's phone numbers. Then, after a couple of months, we exchanged a few emails, and talked one day, before deciding to call it quits again.

It had been months since we had talked, but I still missed him, I still wanted my friend back. And then I decided that I would have him back. And I got his number and called him. It was the end “of silence”, not “of the silence”, because since then, there has been no silence or loneliness in either of our lives.

We talked on the phone for hours each day. We were better friends than we had ever been. And we began to realise that we were heading towards something bigger.

And then he came over to meet me, for one glorious weekend. And soon after, I moved to his city.

We are both atheists, so we wanted our marriage to be just a recognition by law. But after the registration, we still had the ritual offering of mangalsutra and sindoor to the bride, because our families desired it. And with our family and friends endorsing our union, with us being seen together as a married couple, our marriage gained societal acceptance as well.

We need each other to be happy: without the other's presence life seems, not impossible, but meaningless.

I had written this over a year ago, but could find nothing to add or change.