My ex wife and I share joint legal and physical custody of our children, but you wouldn't know that by looking at our custody visitation schedule. It really shouldn't take over a year and cost in excess of $25,000 to change that, but that's what has happened to me. This. . . . .

My ex wife and I share joint legal and physical custody of our children, but you wouldn't know that by looking at our custody visitation schedule. It really shouldn't take over a year and cost in excess of $25,000 to change that, but that's what has happened to me. This fight has depleted our savings, we are over $15,000 in credit card debt with legal fees and forced to keep fighting as the legal process and court system have failed me.

My case is a bit complicated as it involves two biological sons, almost 9 and 12, who need and want more time with their father and two adopted daughters, ages 8 and 6, who are severely disabled and their stay at home mom gets nearly $1400 per month in government subsidies to care for them. I was asking for 50-50 with the boys like what I have had with them in the summers as they had moved from about 40 minutes away to the same city months after our divorce was finalized and have now lived just 10 minutes away from me for over two years. But things with the girls aren't that simple as their mother has kept them from me on numerous occasions with the most egregious time being when she refused to share equipment provided by the state that was needed to properly feed them, insisting that I get my own and depriving me of my visitations with them for over two months! Unlike with the boys, there's a certain degree of co-parenting that is required to share 50-50 custody of the girls and judging from the way things had been, I knew we would not be successful so instead of asking for more time with them, I added in clauses to the parenting plan about the equipment, medications, nursing, etc. that would eliminate loopholes and strengthen my rights as a father to them specifically.

Realizing this case was going to be much more involved than what I originally anticipated, I hired what has turned out to be a ridiculously expensive law firm that I thought specialized in father's rights based on their advertising and marketing efforts only to be told numerous times that the newly adopted Missouri shared parenting law didn't really mean anything. Since July, I have paid my attorney over $25,000 to sift through mountains of evidence I had against my high conflict ex. When I finally got to court in January with a big stack of evidence prepared and confident that she was familiar with the ins and outs of my case, I found that she wasn't worth the money I had paid her as she only put through a handful of exhibits and was not nearly as assertive as she needed to be in an 8+ hour trial.

The opposing counsel's whole strategy was to try to prove that I did not want the girls because they were disabled and difficult. I repeated over and over that it had nothing to do with the girls, but with concerns over my ex's communication and co-parenting. Unfortunately, her aggressive lawyer who had just been retained at the last minute was better than my expensive "father's rights" lawyer and the new judge that was trying his very first case ever became convinced that there should no longer be a distinction between the girls and the boys.

The court did award me with increased parenting time and adopted much of the language that I had presented in my proposed parenting plan, but did not consider the financial implications of it's decision. I was given extended weekends with two extra overnights and 50-50 with all four kids during the summer, which will most likely cause me or my wife to have to quit one of our jobs in a few short months as we can't just put the girls in daycare like we have the boys and their mom controls and interferes with the nursing schedule.

Although the judge awarded me 30% of the time with the kids, he computed the overnights at 18% and my child support only went down by $100. Not to mention, my ex testified to earning $1200 per month doing in home day care (we suspect it may be more), gets $1382 per month in subsidies, was awarded $626 in child support and claims all the kids on her taxes! I, on the other hand, work full-time making $2500 per month before taxes, am required to provide insurance for the boys, pay child support and may not even be able to keep my job!

I had no choice but to file a post trial motion asking the courts decision be amended or a new trial granted. I am in the process of firing my lawyer and have started consulting with a father's rights advocate that has advised me that my case was handled wrong from the very beginning by two separate lawyers. I still don't really agree that the children should be treated the same as my concerns have been further reinforced and validated in the months following the trial. The girls have physical needs that the boys don't have and the boys have emotional needs that the girls don't have. It's not that we love them any more or less, but they are in fact different. That being said, my wife and I are willing to make the sacrifices that 50-50 care of the girls would require if more attention would be given to the issues we've been having with their mother and if the financial situation were more equitable.

I don't know what's going to happen from this point forward. All I know is that I have to keep fighting for more time with my children and I ran out of the funds to do it a long time ago! That's where I need your help. I hope you'll consider donating or spreading awareness of this worthy cause to help remedy the unjust situation that I find myself in. Thanks in advance for your support!

UPDATE: As of July 2017, we have a final judgment on this particular case. I fired my lawyer in March and represented myself on the post-trial motions while continuing to consult with a father's rights advocate. The judge ultimately decided not to apportion the girls’ adoption subsidy, but he did significantly reduce my child support retroactive through the date of the original judgment. I’ve had some wins, but I'm still not where I should be as far as time with the kids is concerned. I must keep fighting, but even without a lawyer, the next step will be costly as there really needs to be a custody evaluation and a guardian ad litem assigned to consider the wishes of the children, etc. We're hesitant to go back to court until we have a better handle on the legal fees from the last custody case, which we hope to get paid off before the 0% balance transfer interest rates expire on three different credit cards next year. But we also know how long these things take and hope to find resolution before next summer as it’s only by the grace of God that we were able to survive this summer without having to quit one of our jobs to exercise 50/50 custody of the girls. Will you consider helping us continue to fight for more time with my kids? Any donations will be greatly appreciated!

My ex wife and I share joint legal and physical custody of our children, but you wouldn't know that by looking at our custody visitation schedule. It really shouldn't take over a year and cost in excess of $25,000 to change that, but that's what has happened to me. This fight has depleted our savings, we are over $15,000 in credit card debt with legal fees and forced to keep fighting as the legal process and court system have failed me.

My case is a bit complicated as it involves two biological sons, almost 9 and 12, who need and want more time with their father and two adopted daughters, ages 8 and 6, who are severely disabled and their stay at home mom gets nearly $1400 per month in government subsidies to care for them. I was asking for 50-50 with the boys like what I have had with them in the summers as they had moved from about 40 minutes away to the same city months after our divorce was finalized and have now lived just 10 minutes away from me for over two years. But things with the girls aren't that simple as their mother has kept them from me on numerous occasions with the most egregious time being when she refused to share equipment provided by the state that was needed to properly feed them, insisting that I get my own and depriving me of my visitations with them for over two months! Unlike with the boys, there's a certain degree of co-parenting that is required to share 50-50 custody of the girls and judging from the way things had been, I knew we would not be successful so instead of asking for more time with them, I added in clauses to the parenting plan about the equipment, medications, nursing, etc. that would eliminate loopholes and strengthen my rights as a father to them specifically.

Realizing this case was going to be much more involved than what I originally anticipated, I hired what has turned out to be a ridiculously expensive law firm that I thought specialized in father's rights based on their advertising and marketing efforts only to be told numerous times that the newly adopted Missouri shared parenting law didn't really mean anything. Since July, I have paid my attorney over $25,000 to sift through mountains of evidence I had against my high conflict ex. When I finally got to court in January with a big stack of evidence prepared and confident that she was familiar with the ins and outs of my case, I found that she wasn't worth the money I had paid her as she only put through a handful of exhibits and was not nearly as assertive as she needed to be in an 8+ hour trial.

The opposing counsel's whole strategy was to try to prove that I did not want the girls because they were disabled and difficult. I repeated over and over that it had nothing to do with the girls, but with concerns over my ex's communication and co-parenting. Unfortunately, her aggressive lawyer who had just been retained at the last minute was better than my expensive "father's rights" lawyer and the new judge that was trying his very first case ever became convinced that there should no longer be a distinction between the girls and the boys.

The court did award me with increased parenting time and adopted much of the language that I had presented in my proposed parenting plan, but did not consider the financial implications of it's decision. I was given extended weekends with two extra overnights and 50-50 with all four kids during the summer, which will most likely cause me or my wife to have to quit one of our jobs in a few short months as we can't just put the girls in daycare like we have the boys and their mom controls and interferes with the nursing schedule.

Although the judge awarded me 30% of the time with the kids, he computed the overnights at 18% and my child support only went down by $100. Not to mention, my ex testified to earning $1200 per month doing in home day care (we suspect it may be more), gets $1382 per month in subsidies, was awarded $626 in child support and claims all the kids on her taxes! I, on the other hand, work full-time making $2500 per month before taxes, am required to provide insurance for the boys, pay child support and may not even be able to keep my job!

I had no choice but to file a post trial motion asking the courts decision be amended or a new trial granted. I am in the process of firing my lawyer and have started consulting with a father's rights advocate that has advised me that my case was handled wrong from the very beginning by two separate lawyers. I still don't really agree that the children should be treated the same as my concerns have been further reinforced and validated in the months following the trial. The girls have physical needs that the boys don't have and the boys have emotional needs that the girls don't have. It's not that we love them any more or less, but they are in fact different. That being said, my wife and I are willing to make the sacrifices that 50-50 care of the girls would require if more attention would be given to the issues we've been having with their mother and if the financial situation were more equitable.

I don't know what's going to happen from this point forward. All I know is that I have to keep fighting for more time with my children and I ran out of the funds to do it a long time ago! That's where I need your help. I hope you'll consider donating or spreading awareness of this worthy cause to help remedy the unjust situation that I find myself in. Thanks in advance for your support!

UPDATE: As of July 2017, we have a final judgment on this particular case. I fired my lawyer in March and represented myself on the post-trial motions while continuing to consult with a father's rights advocate. The judge ultimately decided not to apportion the girls’ adoption subsidy, but he did significantly reduce my child support retroactive through the date of the original judgment. I’ve had some wins, but I'm still not where I should be as far as time with the kids is concerned. I must keep fighting, but even without a lawyer, the next step will be costly as there really needs to be a custody evaluation and a guardian ad litem assigned to consider the wishes of the children, etc. We're hesitant to go back to court until we have a better handle on the legal fees from the last custody case, which we hope to get paid off before the 0% balance transfer interest rates expire on three different credit cards next year. But we also know how long these things take and hope to find resolution before next summer as it’s only by the grace of God that we were able to survive this summer without having to quit one of our jobs to exercise 50/50 custody of the girls. Will you consider helping us continue to fight for more time with my kids? Any donations will be greatly appreciated!

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