All 9 entries tagged Fun

June 14, 2005

This is one of my favourite cartoons. It is even more evil than the coyotee and more treacherous than Yosemitee Sam but unfortunately no match for Bags Bunny. I like the blackness of his humour trying to destroy earth with a huge cannon.

June 13, 2005

There was a time when computer games didn't have graphics. Or at least they couldn't have graphics and sound at the same time. They certainly couldn't have graphics, sound and enough content to keep even a human being amused for more than a few minutes. So they had text. This was radical – a computer game you could control by typing in commands. The game would then respond to your commands with a breathtakingly prescient understanding of your intent. Or not. Usually not – the early text parsers (circa 1977) weren't that bright. But, as long as you limited yourself to what the game understood and the game designers wrote creatively enough to misunderstand you in a humorous and entertaining fashion, it all worked. It therefore stands to reason that any game which combined a really good programmer with a really good writer was likely to do well. So when Steve Meretzky of Infocom got together with Douglas Adams to create a game based around the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the result was never going to be less than interesting and more than likely insane. So it proved – the Hitchhiker's Guide adventure game was one of the best-selling games of its era, selling some 350,000 copies. In 1984.

Brother John entered the'Monastery of Silence' and the Chief
Priest said, "Brother, this is a silent monastery, you are
welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak
until I direct you to do so." Brother John lived in the
monastery for five years before the Chief Priest said to him
"Brother John,you have been here five years now, you may
speak two words."

Brother John said, "Hard Bed."

"I'm sorry to hear that" the Chief Priest said. "We will get
you a better bed."

After another five years, Brother John was called by the
Chief Priest. "You may say another two words Brother John."
"Cold Food." said Brother John, and the Chief Priest assured
him that the food would be better in the future.

On his 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Chief Priest
again called Brother John into his office. "Two words you
may say today."

"I Quit." said Brother John.

"It is probably best." said the Chief Priest. "You've done
nothing but complain since you got here.

A CAUCASIAN WOMAN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary
position. Then you promise to marry her but will probably abandon the idea.

ITALIAN WOMAN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive
restaurant
Second Date: You meet her parents and her mom makes
spaghetti & meatballs
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3carat ring
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of
having sex
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend

JEWISH WOMAN:
First Date: You get a dynamite blowjob.
Second Date: You get another great blowjob.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

MALAY WOMAN:
First date: You get to touch those big breasts of hers.
Second date: You get to home base with her.
Third date: You have to promise her that you are gonna get circumcised.
Then you will marry her and find out that you have to support her whole
family. The only consolation is that you get to repeat the procedure three
other times as allowed under Muslim law.

CHINESE WOMAN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happened.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens
again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you have already
realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMAN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMAN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive
dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant

IRISH WOMAN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex

GREEK WOMAN:
First Date: You find out she's a chain smoker and heavy drinker, despite the
fact she's underage
Second date: You get her piss drunk and have sex
Third date: You find out she was a virgin and her dad and 30 uncles are
all out searching for you with a shot gun and a priest ready to perform the
wedding litergy.