question....what race does my little boy look?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Tara - posted on 05/29/2011

2,567

14

114

Really? And how do you reply? Cause if some stranger asked me what race my baby is they would get an ear full. I don't see why anyone should feel the right nor need to ask total strangers what race their children are.I would probably say "He's 100% Human Race." and walk away.

Why would you assume that's ALL I'm looking at? If I'm out walking with Roxanne and we see another mother and a baby, Roxanne is always curious and excited to see the baby. If I get to talking with the mom I ask all sorts of questions. Sharon, I don't get how you think my asking means that skin color matters? It doesn't matter in a way that it's going to impact my life or change the fact that I think the baby is adorable. I'm Polish and Italian and I enjoy learning about other people's ethnicity. I might also ask what nationality the baby is when color isn't an issue. Would it be rude then?

Why are you making this a racial issue? To imply that my asking means that race "matters" is silly and a bit offensive.

I agree, the mom who started this thread has obviously been hounded or had people question her......and maybe they were rude about it, but you can't automatically lump everyone into that category.

Race isn't a thing of the past...so now that we've cleared that up. We live in a multi-ethnic world, and many of us live in multi-cultural countries. It's not even a little bit outside the realm of normal that people inquire daily about the different ethnicities that make up our population. Inquiring about a person's ethnic origin or heritage isn't synonymous with pigeon-holing them into a racially-motivated category of inferiority. Some people (and I say SOME because I believe that true racists are in the minority...especially in the 21st century) will judge a person by the colour of their skin. What's unfortunate is that, as Amie mentioned, it's like we've swung so far to the other side of the pendulum that we can't even admire or pay homage to the various ethnic backgrounds that we come into contact with daily. And might never know it unless we ASK!

There's nothing wrong with people asking about a child's ethnicity UNLESS they're making rude derogatory comments. Why is it a bad thing to be curious. I just don't see the big deal. I think it's a great opportunity to acknowledge and learn about our differences. At the end of the day, does it really matter to me? No, I guess not, but I'm a curious person and if the mood strikes me, I'm gonna ask. If someone wants to get bent, then go get bent.

58 Comments

View replies by

Michele - posted on 04/25/2012

16

0

0

chatty, i agree, just because someone is curious about a person's ethnicity doesn't mean its a negative or racial thing. I am facinated with genetics and how it all works...bone structure, eye color, hair color, skin tone...when I see a beautiful child, especially one that looks mixed I'm curious about their ethnicity for no other reason that I'm admiring God's creation, I think it's amazing how different we all are. What's so bad or shameful about that?

@ Sharon G I take offense to being called racist. Most of us just believe it's silly that some child's mother is asking total strangers what race her child is. That doesn't make us racist that makes us people with differing opinions.Sorry but I'm definitely NOT a racist. My sister in law is bi-racial and I love her. I'm for all intents and purposes also bi-racial because I'm half Irish and have First Nation. But I don't post on here about guessing what race my 2 daughters are.I believe you're judgemental and rude, but eh that's just me.

When my daughter was born she looked mixed race, even though me and her father are both wite and it made me really mad when people asked her race or just assumed she was half black or half mexican. I don't think that is a thing people should ask. As she got older her hair and skin lighten up a little though. I think your son is cute.

I actually got asked if one of my children was mixed blood or something like that waiting for an elevator. I wasn't really offended but I thought it was strange to be asked. I was adopted but the nurse at the hospital where I was born told my adopted mother I'm bi-racial but no details so sometimes I joke about it--like when I visited Africa, I'd say maybe I'm part African even though I have pretty light skin. Just a side note. Your baby is cute and he kind of looks Samoan or Filippino to me.

True Tania.My second was born with jet black long hair and tanned skin..shes still the same skin tone but now her hair is a caramel colour.She has my eyes there almond shape.

Since she was born everybody has said she looks mixed.My sis showed her co-workers her baby pic, she just had hospital ones.A few co-workers said i didn't know your sisters partner was Asian lol.I don't know how the came up with that.Its funny how other people think though.

Shes so different to my first daughter(same dad just to add)shes fair Irish skin with red hair.I get shes very unusual for a child with red hair.I was told a few times shes very pretty for a child with red hair.Found that very rude.

She also got my Beautiful Almond shape eyes.Not to mention full lips, which my sisters/mom don't have either.She looks just like my younger daughter except for hair&skin tone.

I can understand if others have been saying things, why she would ask this question.I have also been told, "you would think shes not your fellas"..lol..I was told shes a real brownie, so its all in the way its put to you.I got a lot of rude comments.

I'm Irish and i have been asked if i was French, Italian or were did the almond eyes come from.Most people were not rude to me , when the asked.I didn't mind telling them.I am white& Irish.Sme as my partner.

I was quiet tanned as a kid.Still have a good colour.Only one in the family also with Almond shaped eyes which i love by the way.My hubby to be fell in love with eyes.

I don't think you have to be Asian to have Almond eyes, thats stereotyping.

peoples responses are so funny - maybe she just wants an opinion form someone who doesn't know her beucase they won't be trying to give her what they think she wants. Maybe he is or isn't mixed but people ask is he this or that. I am french canadian and people quite often wonder if i am indian. Or partially. It is funny that people are slacking her for just asking. Not one person said curious why are you asking. lol

Your son looks to have Asian lines; his almond eyes, flat bridge of the nose, cupid's bow mouth and tannish skin tone. I would say maybe Filipino? But where do you live that race matters? Is your son of mixed race and you live in a neighborhood that is all one race and you are afraid that your son will be teased for his looks? Perhaps, then it's time to think of your beautiful boy (he really is beautiful!) and move someplace else.

Race truly is a thing of the past. We can not be judged by the color of our skin. If each and everyone of us traced our DNA back 60,000 years ago we would ALL trace back to scientific Adam and scientific Eve, from Africia, and they were "black". The different "races" came from the bodies ability to adapt to their surroundings. That being said....

Your baby is very beautiful and from the looks of his tone he has a nice level of melatonin (pigment) he looks like he might have some Spanish decent.

He is adorable. As for race and the dad being white, well I have known many mixed races and usually the child takes on the darker tones but a tad lighter. Things can skip generations as well too. I have green eyes brown hair and the kids dad has brown hair and brown eyes(all his family have the same) Our 1st born has blue eys and blonde hair. On top of that all 3 kids don't have my blood type either. You just never know.

I suppose I view asking about a baby's race as a shame because you're looking at the outside only. A skin color. To me and my family, skin color just does not matter. And for a mother to post this question leads me to beleive that this invasive question has been asked over and over again to the point that there's frustration.

Why is it a shame? Are we not teaching our children to embrace and celebrate our differences - including race?

Or have we swung so far to the other side of the pendulum that we now ignore our noticeable differences because the few (and they are, I'm not the only mixed family I know) take offense to every question? No matter how innocent or politely asked?

Ya know, I was thinking about this thread. It really is a shame that someone would be curious about a baby's race unless *constantly* asked and/or harrassed that would lead to asking a public internet forum. And I don't mean the occassional question. I honestly would never approach a mother to ask about the racial make-up of her children. 1) I'm not all that curious, and 2) I don;t care. But I can understand that parents of multi-racial children often deal with this. I think a parent's positive attitude is the best way to deal with such questioning, and then move on. Perhaps it's a regional thing too. Yes, it is human nature to stare. We all stare-just depends on a brief glance versus a long hard stare. But then it's time to get over it!

NO IT DOES NOT, as a matter of fact we are older parents who were raised in "that" era and if we revert back to our upbringing stinkin thinkin... Our kids get mad which really helps us. The only race your son is the one you run after! He is adorable! It does not matter!

I do get the race thing. My sister in law is bi-racial and sometimes people think she's hispanic. Also one of my cousins has a bi-racial kid and someone said once 'he doesn't look black' which I thought was dumb. But why are you asking?

I agree it's not necessarily rude to ask- I'm just saying it wouldnt occur to me personally to ask. But then I am a bit the opposite of you Dana in that I am always a bit reluctant to ask people personal questions- one of my friends thinks it's a shortcoming and often berates me about it. But that's just me- I figure if people want me to know things about them, they will tell me, otherwise I'd prefer to stick to less personal questions.

I really don't see the big deal with asking either. I'm often asked myself what ethnicity I am. In RL it's not always easy to tell. Why should I be rude because someone wanted to know? It does not mean they are trying to be an arse.

If a racist arse wants to be one, they will be without asking if you are of that race. They'll hook onto something they notice (real or imaginary) and just have at 'er.

At first I was wondering why you wanted to know. Then I saw your comment that people sometimes ask. And my response is that I cannot believe that people ask things like that?? I dont think it would even enter my head to ask someone what race their baby is. How bizarre. He's very cute and I'm delighted for you that you have a happy and health little boy.

My kids are both mixed race, black and white. One has caramel skin, dark brown eyes and nappy brown hair. The other has white skin, green eyes and curly blond hair. Genetics can be a wonderful and amazing subject.

I really don't think it's a big deal when someone inquires about a child or person's ethnicity. I would much rather someone ask, than speculate and create a false representation in their mind. On the other hand, if someone inquire's about someone's ethnicity, there is no obligation to answer the question. A simple "I prefer not to say" does the trick. Regardless, it won't stop people from guessing even if they don't ask...so what does it really matter? The baby is adorable and the colour of his skin or the origins of his ancestry hold no weight in the fact that he is a living, breathing human of equal value to the rest of humanity.

"While biological scientists sometimes use the concept of race to make practical distinctions among fuzzy sets of traits, others in the scientific community suggest that the idea of race is often used by the general public in a naive or simplistic way. Among humans, race has no taxonomic significance; all people belong to the same hominid subspecies, Homo sapiens sapiens.Regardless of the extent to which race exists, the word "race" is problematic and may carry negative connotations".

wow he really doesn't look mixed. He's adorable though. I heard if you look at the darkness of the inside of their ears, you can tell what their skin tone will be when they get older. That was from an african american who had 6 kids from light to dark.

I think it's kind of strange that you post a picture of your child and ask internet strangers to guess his ethnic origin.But hey... I can play too since you posted.I think he looks like he is of mixed origin. A little black maybe and some white or east indian.But honestly, he looks like a baby to me, and a cute one. Do people actually ask other people this question in real life?

Well Amy, you did ask what race he looked like, not what color he looked like. Color wise, he seems rather tanned. Is that better or did you want to set up a category for him within society and pigeonhole him forever.