When a man's wife went into labor, he immediately
dialed 911 in a panic.
Man:ý "Help! My wife is having a baby.
Her ýcontractions are only two minutes apart. What do I do?"
ýDispatcher: "Calm down, Is this her first child?"
ýMan: "NO!, this is her husband!"ý

When Little Johnny got his exam paper back,
he saw a big red F staring back at him.
ýBilly: "Why did you get such a low mark on that ýtest?"
ýýJohnny: "Because of an absence,".
ýBilly: "You mean you were absent on the day of the test?".
ýJohnny: "I wasn't, but the kid who sits next to me was."ý