Success is not about being an expert on success

There’s a difference between being an expert and being someone who gets what he wants.

When my wife said “yes” to my marriage proposal, I got what I wanted. That doesn’t make me an expert on relationships.

I don’t have a happy marriage because I know what women want or because I understand “the 10 secrets of marital success.” I have a happy marriage because, through an ongoing process of trial and error, I’ve become skillful at the very specific art of harmoniously co-existing with my wife.

Here’s today’s two cents:

Success is not about being an expert on success, an expert on spirituality, an expert on creativity, an expert on happiness, an expert on relationships, an expert on money, or an expert on anything other than you and the particular details that define your situation.

It’s about deciding what you want and finding a way of creating it that’s effective for you.

It’s about pushing past your own crap, overcoming your own excuses, stoking your own fires, and finding your own answers.

It’s about having no idea how you’re going to make it work and, then, making it work anyway.

You will not get what you want simply by listening to experts or by trying to become one yourself.

Whatever you achieve, you will achieve it by confronting your own demons, sorting out your own madness, drawing your own maps, and building your own bridges.

Reblogged this on LifeRevelation and commented:
I have followed Mr. Coleman’s blog for several months now. I have discovered he has fine appreciation for getting to the point without being brutally blunt. He is straightforward without being offensive.

Thank you so much, Stephen! You’re the reason I’ve had so much traffic on my blog tonight. I appreciate it, bro. I’m glad that piece resonated with you and I hope it will be a blessing to many others. Many blessings to you. Cheers 🙂 -TK

This is excellent. You hit the nail on the head. I think a lot of people don’t understand this. They just keep buying books on how to be a success. I think we make this same mistake in schools. We teach kids how to take tests rather than teaching kids how to learn or letting them discover on their own how wonderful learning is.
Great post! I’m glad I stopped by. : )

Thank you, Lisa. Your words are much appreciated. You make a very good observation about how we’re educated. Many of the methods we’re taught to memorize and emulate are organic expressions of people’s creative impulses. The real goal of education should be (in part, at least) to teach us how to nurture our own inner sense of creativity. Great thoughts! Thanks again for stopping by. You’re a blessing. Cheers 🙂 TK

Success really is about mastering your own process. Managing what holds you back and creating satisfaction in your life. It is all too possible to suffer analysis paralysis if we “study” too much and try to be the expert. Keep moving forward. I really enjoyed this message. Thank you.

You’re absolutely right, Bren! It took me quite some time to even begin learning this, but how sweet and liberating it is once you know, right? Thanks for delighting in the spirit of creativity with me 🙂 cheers!

Goodness….reading my mail? Sometimes the hits I’ve taken in living with an abuser for 20 years, then following it up with several (!) abusers on the job, with the subsequent restarts, have me feeling like an expert on nothing, I compare myself with phantom wizards who are really the average people out there. And I research, and research – which is as effective as WATCHING the exercise video. Good words. Very encouraging!

Thank you, Ran 🙂 Perhaps we’ve been vibrating at the same frequency. I’m glad this one resonates with you. And you ARE an expert on everything you need to be in order to create the life you want. Cheers 🙂