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A driving force behind sexual addiction is the need to find “that special person” who will "fill me upâ€”fix me". The addict thinks, "If only I could find that special sexual chemistry, with that special person, then I would feel healed".

But the addict is doomed to failure! What you really wantâ€”completenessâ€”is never going to be found in sex. But you're addiction deceives you. The next magazine, another prostitute, one more secret rendezvous, another chat room on the Internet, the next porno video, the next adult bookstoreâ€”the next, the next, the nextâ€”and on, and on, and on.

What you really want is someone who will relate to you. But that centerfold is never going to connect with you, that person in the chat room, that prostitute only wants your money, the nude women or men the Internet are just pretending.

Now on top of your aloneness you also have the guiltâ€”you feel that you've been used. Now you’re more alone now than before. You've risked your reputation, your family, perhaps even your job. You've lost money, but most of all, you are losing yourself.

It's not the "right chemistry with the right person" that you need. You need to solve those internal problems â€” childhood issues, inability to relate, lack of connection to God and other people.