10/07/2013

There are a lot of unrealistic things in movies, but none is more ridiculous than noise in space.

Everyone knows there's no sound in space. Sound is the compression of
air and there's no air in a space. Any fifth grader can tell you that.
But that doesn't stop Hollywood from making space awful noisy.

Frankly, its boring to show space battles without explosions and
loud noises. So, movies and television shows take creative license with
realism to entertain.

Here are the most ridiculous of all ridiculous noisy moments in space according to science fiction.

When Jango Fett chases Obi-Wan Kenobi into an asteroid field he shoots
bombs into the field to drawn him out. The bombs explode and shatter
the asteroids with a loud bang.

Why it's Ridiculous: This is a double sin. Not only
would the seismic charge not work in space, but they wouldn't have made
those loud bangs. The Star Trek wiki describes a Seismic Charge this way: "The idea during the production of Episode II
was that the charge would suck in and absorb all the sound around it
(such as the sounds of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Jango Fett's ships during
their fight in the Geonosis asteroid belt), and then release them in a
sonic explosion, resulting in the shockwave effect heard in the
explosion sound."

Let's review: The charge absorbs sound (which doesn't exist in
space) from the ships (which don't make sound) and releases it in a
sonic explosion which couldn't happen.
.

In Superman IV, the evil clone of Superman, Nuclear Man, kidnaps Muriel
Hemmingway and takes her into space. I've already talked about the eight ways Mariel Hemmingway should have died in Superman IV. But there's an even more ridiculous
scene in the film.At one point
Superman and Nuclear Man have a huge battle on Earth's moon. It's an
incredibly loud fight with the two grunting, screaming and bashing
holes in the crust of the moon.

Why it's Ridiculous: Besides the fact that you have two men
ignoring the rules of gravity, you have two men loudly yelling. In one
scene, the Nuclear Man after driving Superman into the ground with his
fists he lets out a loud roar of triumph, which should have been
completely silent and ineffective.

#7 - Genesis Bomb Exploding in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan

In his final moments, Khan (Ricardo Montalban) detonates the Genesis
Device, a highly destructive terraforming device in an attempt to
destroy Kirk (William Shatner) and the USS Enterprise. As the ship
escapes the device creates a massive explosion that destroys the ship
and terraforms the nebula into a new planet.

Why it's Ridiculous: The sound
of the explosion is massive and, despite all logic, is followed by
sounds of the Enterprise leaving the area. It even has the Doppler
Effect as the ship passes by the camera.

#6 - Ra's Ship Explodes in Stargate

In Stargate the alien overlord
Ra (Jaye Davidson) is escaping into space with his pyramid ship.
Colonel O'Neil (Kurt Russell) and Dr. Jackson (James Spader) teleport a
bomb to Ra's ship and it explodes in a massive, and ridiculously loud,
explosion.

Why it's Ridiculous: Ra's ship is a giant pyramid floating in space. It gets blown up in a large explosion just above the planet. He even manages to get a scream loud enough to be heard in space.

#5 - Explosion of the Asteroid in Armageddon (1998)

In the otherwise scientifically
accurate Armageddon was one glaring omission. When Harry (Bruce Willis) sets
off a nuclear explosion deep inside an asteroid it causes a massive,
and loud explosion as the giant rock explodes.

Why it's Ridiculous: The explosion not only splits the asteroid in half
it also creates a massive series of shockwaves that not only make the
explosion more intense, it's actually even louder than the already ridculous explosion.

#4 - The Birth of the Nuclear Man in Superman IV

In Superman IV, Superman collects up all the numclear weapons from the
world's governments in a net and throws them into the sun. A
thermonuclear weapon, weighing about 2,400 pounds (1,100 kg), can make
an explosive force equal to 1.2 million tons (1.1 million tonnes) of
dynamite. There are an estimated 26,000 nuclear warheads in the world.
We're talking about a massive explosion when they all go off.

Then, one missile creates the Nuclear Man.

Why it's Ridiculous: Not only is the explosion loud, but there are a ton of implausible sounds following the Nuclear Man's creation. It sounds like a Jiffy Pop than anything else.

#3 - Destruction of Phantom Zone in Superman II (1980)

Three Kryptonians are sentenced
by Jor-El to banishment into the Phantom Zone and travel
through the galaxy for thirty years till they float near Earth.
meanwhile, Superman (Christopher Reeve) foils a terrorist plot to blow
up Paris by throwing the hydrogen bomb into space. The explosion is so
loud and powerful that the shockwave shatters the Phantom Zone and
frees the Kryptonians.

Why it's Ridiculous: The
theatrical cut of the film was pretty ridiculous, but the Richard
Donner director's cut just makes it worse. Instead of a single
explosion, Donner added even more explosions and the sound of glass
breaking as they're freed from the dimension.

#2 - Death Star Explosion in Star Wars (1977)

Created by George Lucas for the movie star wars, the Death Star is
a moon-sized space station appearing in the Star Wars
movies and expanded universe created by George Lucas. It
has the power to destroy an entire planet with its massive superlaser.

Commanded by Moff Tarkin the destroyed Alderran until a single X-wing
fighter, flies through a trench in the Death Star. He shoots proton
torpedos into the exhaust that causes the massive station to explode.

Why it's Ridiculous: The original theatrical explosion was pretty big. Then Lucas created a remastered version which is even bigger, and louder. It doesn't matter though, since both explosions would have been completely silent.

#1 - Disaster Area Rock Band from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

In the fifth episode of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy television series, and the second book in the series, Douglas Adams introduced Hotblack Deseado and his band "Disaster Area."

The rock band Disaster Area is not only the loudest rock band in the
Galaxy, but also the loudest noise of any kind in the history of
science fiction. Concert goers said the best sound was from "within
large concrete bunkers some thirty-seven miles away from the stage,"
while the musicians "played by remote control from within a heavily
insulated spaceship which stayed in orbit around the planet - or more
frequently around a completely different planet."

Why it's Ridiculous: Considering
there's no sound in space it would have to be ridiculously loud to
reach not only from space to the planet, but to another planet.

What do you think the loudest moment is space is? Does it matter that it's impossible?

It's true that there's nothing to carry sound in space, but I like space explosion sounds. It just feels wrong silent. I think you're missing one on the list -- 'Aliens' - when they blew up the planet as they flew away. That was a loud space explosion. I guess the original 'Alien' had one too.

I thought there was an explosion in "Thor" but am not quite sure, as I've only seen it once when it came out in theaters. I remember the "Armageddon" explosion though and found it to be entertaining, even if it's ridiculously impossible. To tell you the truth, I paid much more attention to (and was interested in) Bruce Willis than the explosion, that there could've been dancing pieces of rock, for all I care, lol.