Steve: Okay, Cammy is doing a spinny thing on her hand and kicking out and backwards with her legs. I don't know how her hat is staying on, maybe like centrifugal force or something. And she seems like she's dodging the swipe of this dude who looks like an old man sailor with one big eye and he's got a lobster claw sort of stuck down in his wrist.

Zack: Yeah, but what does it smell like?

Steve: Like a sweaty clam.

Zack: I've been there before. Two drink minimum, all nude. I've got the lobster scars to prove it.

SA takes a look back at what our ancestors from the dawn of civilization clicked on THEIR computers!

About This Column

Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.