USDOF PROPOSAL TO AMEND UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION TO CONFORM TO BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES REGARDING MARRIAGE

Beloved American patriot Jerry Falwell recently announced that he will devote the remainder of his Godly life to advocating a Constitutional
amendment banning marriage between people of the same gender. The United States Department of
Faith supports Mr. Falwell's desire to impose Biblical edicts on Americans of all faiths by converting the
Constitution from a document that restricts the power of government into one that limits the so-called freedoms
of individuals. Nevertheless, the Department of Faith also recognizes that the Bible is replete with verses restricting
marriage in many ways, not merely as relates to Mr. Falwell's infatuation with men licking each other. As such, the USDOF
has delivered to the President and each member of the U.S. Congress the following proposal to incorporate Biblical restrictions on
marriage into our Christian nation's otherwise embarrassingly flawed and secular Constitution: