Search

The last few years we have seen extensive data on the changing face of the American family. According to the American Community Survey an annual study done by the Census Bureau, there are 104 million unmarried Americans representing 45% of the adult population. Since 2005, the majority of US households are not headed by married couples and the number of non-married-couple households have grown. The most recent data was the Obama Administration’s comprehensive report on women and girls released this month which found on average, men and women are waiting to marry.

Another study released yesterday from the Pew Research Center found that millennials (that’s anyone who is 19-29 today) think parenting is more important than marriage.

A 2010 Pew Research survey found that 52% of Millennials say being a good parent is “one of the most important things” in life. Just 30% say the same about having a successful marriage– meaning there is a 22 percentage point gap in the way Millennials value parenthood over marriage.

When this same question was posed to 18- to 29-year-olds in 1997, the gap was just 7 percentage points. Back then, 42% of the members of what is known as Generation X said being a good parent was one of the most important things in life, while 35% said the same about having a successful marriage.

Pew Research surveys also find that Millennials are less likely than adults ages 30 and older to say that a child needs a home with both a father and mother to grow up happily and that single parenthood and unmarried couple parenthood are bad for society.

So much for the argument that the death of traditional marriage is pointing to the decline of family values.

As Pew Research notes, this attitude is most likely reflecting behavior change as more and more children are growing up in single parent homes or with unmarried parents. I would add that the shift in attitude in the last 14 years from Gen X’ers to millennials is due in part to the decline in the economy in the past 10 years. A decade or so ago, you may have thought you could still get married and have a family, but the financial reality of it in the millenium is a different story.

The study also shows us that millenials want to both get married and have children at the same rate. So on some level the desire to get married and have a family might be there, it is just not as realistic or necessary a goal as it used to be.

The wonderful Lindy West has a wonderful essay up at The Guardian about being fat on her wedding day in a culture in which “being fat and happy and in love in public is still a radical act.”

As a fat woman, if you ask for help or guidance on almost any topic, what you inevitably hear is some version of “Take up less space.” Diminish yourself. Feeling sick? Make your body smaller. Can’t find love? Make your body smaller. Undervalued at work? Make your body smaller. Can’t make your body smaller? Hide your body. Can’t hide your body? “Flatter” your body (ie make it look smaller). Choose an empire waist. Cover your arms. Your body is too unattractive. ...

The wonderful Lindy West has a wonderful essay up at The Guardian about being fat on her wedding day in a culture in which “being fat and happy and in love in public is still a ...

I was not expecting the blush that spread in a thin flame underneath my skin when news of the Obergefell decision showed up on my phone. But I recognized it: It was the feeling of expanded possibility.

I guess I must have been fifteen or sixteen when I figured out — like, really figured out — that queerness was a thing, that I could have sex with women, that I could love people I was not supposed to love, that one could even do that. It was like being punched in the gut; the dimensions of the world changed. A way of being in the world that was not supposed to be possible became possible, and it tasted ...

I was not expecting the blush that spread in a thin flame underneath my skin when news of the Obergefell decision showed up on my phone. But I recognized it: It was the feeling of expanded ...

My grandmother finished dying last month, ten years after my mom bought me a black dress for her funeral. When I was in high school she kept it in her closet, ready, resigned, with a long zipper up the back. Jane, my grandmother, had started to lose her memory and, away with my family for her last vacation, landed in the hospital with a small stroke. The dress arrived, with only brief comment, a week later.

That was only the first time we prepared ourselves, sure she was going to die before we saw her next. My freshman year of college my grandmother, who had once been a secretary to the president of the NBA, lost the wherewithal to talk ...

My grandmother finished dying last month, ten years after my mom bought me a black dress for her funeral. When I was in high school she kept it in her closet, ready, resigned, with a long ...