There’s a burger joint called “Five Guys” that serves some absolutely delicious, caloriffic burgers and fries. When you chew each bite of your meal you can hear your arteries harden and your tummy widen, but the taste is so good that it’s worth it.

Two weeks ago I went to Five guys with my cousin and ordered my usual burger with a side of fries, then we went to a nearby park to eat. While eating the fries we were approached by a friendly squirrel who stood a few feet away, watching us eat our meals. Seconds after approaching, the squirrel quickly grabbed a fry that fell from my bag and he retreated to his tree to munch on the oily potato strip.
Not long after, the brave squirrel returned and waited for another french fry to be released.

I’m not the type of person to deny anyone of a tasty treat, so I grabbed the longest french fry from my bag and hand-fed it to the squirrel. Soon he returned with 2 of his friends who also wanted a soggy fry of their own. After giving a fry to each of his friends, I tried to peacefully enjoy my meal, but I was interrupted by the sound of two fighting critters trading punches over a french fry. I broke up the fight by giving a fry to each squirrel and peacefully returned to my seat to enjoy my meal. When I looked to my right, there were two more squirrels waiting for the human fry dispenser to give them more potato treats. By this point, all of the fries were gone and they had to return to the dry, hard, boring, acorns.

I expect to be greeted by six highly-overweight squirrels when I return to the park in the near future. Let’s just hope that their tiny rodent hearts can fully digest the peanut-oil soaked fries.

From time to time I like to spread the knowledge that I accumulated during my life. Today I will be sharing this knowledge in episode 1 of my cooking show, where I make a gourmet meal in under 3 minutes.

When the “25 Random Things About Me” fad swept the internet by storm I decided to join in, but I needed to add my own unique touch. After months of having this video sitting dormant on my hard drive I chose to share it with my internet friends. Here is the end result of my “10 Random Things..”

Shoot film throughout a day in your life, then put it together into a 90 second video. Don’t add any music or anything, only what’s recorded via the camera.

The Result:

Further Explanation
5am- Wake Up
6:30am- Fix furnace at my house that I don’t live in
7:30am- Return home and change for work
8:45am- Go to work, eat cereal, listen to music on my iPod while working to help me focus
6:30pm- Leave work and go to teach my kiddies
10:30pm- Drive home
1:30am- Sleep

Observations
– The time on my car remote is still incorrectly set!
– I rely on my iPod a lot
– This was my first time trying to light a pilot light for a furnace, and it could have ended very dangerously
– By midday I was sick of carrying around a camera, so I didn’t record as much
– There is no such thing as a typical day in my life

Last week my dad broke ground on the beginning stages of a backyard project. I have no idea what the project is supposed to be and I can’t figure it out from the trenches and random holes that I see. I’m hoping that this is his secret project to build a suite for his favorite son (me) including an indoor pool. One can only hope!

Want to experience my plight of a dirt-filled backyard? Watch the video below…

I’ve realized that it’s really easy for kids to make friends. They simply walk up to another kid who is close to their age and say, “hey, do you want to be my friend?” All 200 times that I’ve seen this happen the kid has responded “yes” with a gigantic smile on his/her face as if they were asked if they wanted to meet an actual, real-life webkin. As I watched my kid brother play in the pool in Mexico I saw him go from knowing no one to knowing every 4-8 year old by simply asking “do you want to be my friend??”

The kids played for hours in the water and then one-by-one each left to get ready for dinner, but my kid brother didn’t want to leave the pool…ever. When I asked “are you ready to get dressed for dinner,” he would immediately derail my question with a question of his own. The best question he asked was, “do you want to see me hold my breath underwater for 15 minutes??” Gosh kid, are your lungs made out of teflon and filled nitrous oxide?! I’ve gotta see this!!

My genius brother jumped up, held his nostrils shut with his hand, closed his eyes so tight that his eyeballs probably retracted into his head, and went underwater. Five seconds later he jumped up out of the water with a look of triumph on his face. Then he said the most dumfounding thing ever, “FIFTEEN MINUTES…SEE I TOLD YOU!!!”

I’m not sure what’s worse–making 4-8 year olds believe that you’re their friend because you said “hi” or making a 22 year old believe that 5 seconds is actually 15 minutes because you said so. Either way, my kid brother is the best…mainly cuz he’s related to me.