Saturday, December 4, 2010

The APMS (Aust. Placebo Medicine Society) has decided that for too long Placebopathy has been rather insular in its approach and in some cases somewhat dismissive of other natural therapies. This is probably why the ATMS refused an approach to merge.

In order to build bridges with other therapies, the APMS recently asked None Labs to come up with some placebo medications which incorporate aspects of other therapies and within a remarkably short time they came up with PlaceboHomeoAromeotherapy, aroma therapy preparations that are so dilute that all traces of the often irritating essential oils are undetectable, even by extensive chemical analysis.

That's right, these preparations are even stonger in their effect than regular aromatherapy preparations due to the homeopathic dilution process, but will not irritate sensitive noses or set off allergic reactions.

Dr. None and the boffins at None Labs have been very busy lately. Ever since Placebo Power doubled the price of all None Lab remedies in order to make them more effective, Dr. None has worried that they might be out of the reach of the ordinary person.

"We need a budget version of all our products," was his simple instruction to the boffins.
In quick time they came up with None Labs HOME BRAND, a range of remedies that are chemically identical to their brothers and sisters sold under the Placebo Power label.

Dr None explained, "Extensive testing has shown that, like all homeopathic preparations, the multiple dilution process results in a product that is pure water. We've just cut out the time consuming dilution stage to simplify the manufacturing process for our Home Brand range. I can guarantee consumers that they are chemically indistinguishable from any other homeopathic product".

Now everyone can afford to share the miraculous benefits of None Laboratories products.

OUR MOTTO

Credulatum Omnia

DONORS WANTEDNone Laboratories urgently requires donors in order to meet demand for the following products- DIGITUM and MEMORY BOOST.
Simple same day surgery is all that is required. Good prices paid.
Note: must be above average IQ in the case of Memory Boost donations. Free post-op speech lessons included.

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FOR SALE

After treatment many of Dr. None's patients donate unwanted items which Dr. None sells to further his research into Placebo Power.Contact Dr. None for a great deal on a used wheelchair, white cane or surgical prosthethis.

NEW YEAR SPECIALOne only used artificial limb, left leg, one owner, low kilometres. Suit one legged man or Rolf Harris impersonator.