We know that you're dying to find out what is inside the 500-page behemoth that is the September Elle. Well, probably not, but we'll tell you anyway.

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After a quick glance through this issue, we automatically deem most of the featured clothes unwearable in real life (i.e. metallic leather shorts). We know that these items are supposed to be inspiration as part of trickle-down fashion economics and that only rich and/or those in fashion actually wear such styles. But apparently, there are times when even the boldest of fashion editors don't want to be that fashionable, especially in front of men. According to Elle Creative Director Joe Zee, some of the "girls in the fashion department" typically say "I work in fashion, I don't want him to think I'm obsessed with it." He concludes that "women basically have two wardrobes—-one to wear for other women (or themselves!) and one to wear for men." This is the premise for a feature in which Zee enlists SNL cast member Andy Samberg to represent men in a battle to pick the best outfits for the fashion department to wear for non-work occasions. The result is as you would expect: Samberg picked out more classic items while Zee leaned towards the weird, fashion-forward choices. Cute, yes, but one question: if the editors of this magazine are too self-conscious to wear the very same duds they peddle, why are they pushing them on the rest of us? Find out what else the Elle is pushing in the September issue.