Thoughts on deconstructing, renewing and embracing the qualities (quirks, oddities, imperfections) that make us other-worldly BEAUTIFUL. Includes weekly mentions of the reigning Queen of Other, Kristen Stewart. Perhaps once we shatter the old ideas of beauty, then the need to alienate, segregate and tear down Others will disappear entirely.

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About KJ

A LITTLE PHILOSOPHIZING

I support the movement that redefines the antiquated ideas of beauty, and decreases (towards extinction) the destruction of Others (The Unknown). I have mad love for KStew’s and Rob’s Pretty Rebellion.

I giggle a lot. Friends and family tell me I’m really funny, though you wouldn’t know it with my emo ramblings at times. I don’t cook much, but I make fierce grilled cheese sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies, sometimes serving them together. I admire anyone who does have culinary prowess. I gravitate towards over-the-knee socks paired with Doc Martens, flowy dresses, hues of red, and shy people. I am thirsty for knowledge about everything and have more books than I do silverware, shoes or hats combined (it’s a lot). I have been playing piano and singing since I was 4 years old, but I didn’t let anyone outside of close friends and family know this until I was 12. You know, trying to stay under the radar and all.

The Writing Space

There are many events that laid the ground work for me to begin writing about Others and Royal Rebels, and I’m sure I’ll make reference to those experiences at some point or another in the weekly essays I write. Two events in particular, involving a public voting system led me to write about Royalty, popularity, and societal norms: (1) A yearbook printing mishap in junior high (See the Origins of Musings Page for details), and (2) a homecoming queen election in high school (See the very first Musings essay: Other Queens: Molly Ringwald, Stewie and Me)

I am a clinical psychotherapist by trade, a writer, kinda-musician and world traveler by choice. I believe that beauty truly is defined by the very characteristics that we (or critics) view as odd, quirky, atypical and unexpected. I am strolling along the learning curve towards embracing my Otherness. I applaud Kristen Stewart for embracing her Otherness and walking a path of authenticity. I hope you all will embrace and better yet, CELEBRATE your Otherness as well. We may find that we Outsiders, Misfits, Unusuals, Odd Ones, and Strange Folk all actually fit quite beautifully TOGETHER.

Per usual. These Chucks were made for walkin’. New York City, May 2012

SENTENCE COMPLETION FUN

The sentence prompts and answers could change by the hour, the day, but I’ll probably only get around to updating it on here a few times a month. If you feel compelled to respond to the sentences as well, write me or comment below, I’d love to hear from you! I’m fairly confident we’ll find we aren’t on the periphery as once believed.

The Five-By-Five Edition

June 14, 2015

Song: First ~Cold War Kids

Kristen Stewart is now 25 years old, three years older than when I last updated this Sentence Completion. So much, an obscene amount ofmuch has happened since the last post. In possibly my favorite interview to date, ‘Interview Magazine’, Kristen contemplates the risks and benefits of choosing her path, all within a casual conversation with the coolest chick ever–Patti Smith. Reflecting on her life and career, Ms Stewart recognizes that the choices she made do not hinder her attempts to live authentically and wholly. Clearly, she continues to challenge and then perhaps embrace any fear she may encounter.

“I’m sitting back and enjoying the benefits of a decision that I made when I was a person who I can still relate to, but am not any more.”

So. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane again. I began writing Musings five years ago, and I was terrified and elated all at once. Many factors led to my pushing “publish” for the first time on June 3, 2010. I am wrapping up this incredible journey with a return to roots, as Others do. My answers to these sentence completion statements are as if I were beginning this adventure, five years ago. Oh how far we’ve traveled, my friends. Here’s me…Next, it’s you. Talk to meeee.

In The Beginning, June 2010

Important Advice /Quote That Influenced:

Be the change you wish to see in the world. ~ Gandhi

Where I Lived:

In a small studio with my fairly new husband, in a cool, overcast, cloudy neighborhood near the park in San Francisco.

Reading. Writing. Song Writing. Singing. Playing Piano. Taking Pictures. Walking in the great park.

Hopes I Had:

To launch a small private psychotherapy practice, for it to be successful (i.e. break even, maybe even earn a little money); to finally begin writing the book envisioned; to connect with people regarding Otherness, to inspire Royal Rebels to find their voices.

Fears I Confronted:

Being without a job or a job title.

Publishing my thoughts and ideas to share with strangers, people outside of my immediate circle.

Pursuing my calling vs obligations or what is expected of me.

*** So, there is nothing more rewarding that realizing the goals and hopes I had five years ago have come to fruition.

Where Were You in 2010?

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17 Responses to “About KJ”

Hi KJ and MOO readers,
Thank you KJ for creating this space to share our otherness!
I’m JAS and I thought I’d share about when I was Kristen’s age.
Here’s what was happening 10 years ago in my life:
When I Was 22:

Important Advice /Quote:
“It is better to love and lost, than never love at all.”
“Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it! Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it” Goethe
Where I Lived:
Northridge, California in three different places; First in my sorority’s house near campus with one of my (still 10 years later) closest friends, then home for the summer with my parents, brother, and dog Carly, and then in an apartment with 3 ladies who became like sisters to me in the four years we lived together.

Whom I loved:
My family: mom, dad, brother R, dog Carly, and on and off again boy friend, E. Also close friends, D, J, L, A, B, C, and CH.

Subjects I Studied:
I graduated from college with a BA in Liberal Studies focusing on United States Studies and then began my Teaching Credentials studying everything readying me for a career in Elementary School teaching.
Favorite subjects: Drama and Dance for children and American History.
People Who Fascinated:
My teaching credential professors, two teachers that were my bosses at my job as a school paraprofessional. My youth pastor Jono, and C. S. Lewis.
Films That Inspired:
Mary Poppins (because who doesn’t love a good musical)
Amistad
The Patriot
Music That Shaped:
Anything by the Beatles or Vertical Horizon.
Places I Went:
Camp as a volunteer
Snowboarding in Lake Tahoe and Big Bear
Laughlin, Nevada for my friend’s 21st birthday
Maui, HI
Mammoth Lake, CA
Words I Read:
Harry Potter
Textbooks for school
Historical books on the Constitution and American Revolution
Historical documents, newspapers, and artifacts for my Capstone Project for my BA, lots of research!
Nicholas Sparks
C.S. Lewis
Hobbies that Nourished:
Reading. Swing dancing, snowboarding, wake boarding, hanging out with middle school students while volunteering, teaching/working as a paraprofessional, researching and writing about the history of Los Angeles, hanging out with friends, concerts, having fun and being young!

Hopes I Had:
To become a 5th grade teacher, eventually get my Master’s Degree in Education, meet a boy and get married, have a family, buy a house, get better at snowboarding.

Thank you! I’m constantly in awe of you and our sisters in the blog-sphere who share a love for Ms. Stewart and celebrate other-ness. It’s so enjoyable and companionable to share this little family.
I’m inspired and felt moved to share. My hope is to let my little light shine to bring warmth and courage to this cold dark world. It only takes one person, one deed, one word or sentence to project love and change the place one is in!
Rock on with the Docs! I’ve only done the Mary Janes, but secretly wanted a pair like Ms. Stewart’s red ones from NYC last November. Shhh don’t tell!
Love the grunge…#imahaipstergirl
Love and light!
JAS xx

Amazing, Amazing site you have here, I’ve only just subscribed recently to your essays, and can honestly say I feel a great sense of yipeee when I see another essay pop up in my inbox. Your words are captivating. Though usually a shy girl, I felt compelled to join here because finally for once, in what feels like a lifetime, I’ve found a group of people who celebrate ‘other’. Of course, before I visited your site, I had no name for myself. I was just….different. And as for my love for K? well, I will say…it really started when I watched her interviews. I admired her work as an actress, but I admire more her as a person. Suddenly, there in this remarkable woman, I saw a flicker of myself. My stuttering, stumbling, sentence breaking self. And the rest is history.

Can I please add my firsts? Thanking you in advance 🙂

First Pet: I grew up on a Farm, so I was born into a life with animals and pets, but the one that stands out above all others was ‘Muffy’ a black and white cat my mum found on the side of the road (my parents were always bringing home strays and dumped animals- including injured wildlife and nursing them back to health) Muffy was other. Never have I felt so truly in awe of an animal. She arrived when I was three, and died when I was sixteen. She was Family. When I was depressed at 13, no one knew, and no other family pet would come near me (I’m serious) but Muffy, she knew. When I’d be crying quietly in my bed, this amazing animal would pick herself up from her sleeping spot and make her way over to me, just to comfort me… Best soul I’ve ever known.

First Movie: I suppose the first I can remember was ‘The Lion King’- bawled my eyes out!

First concert: Killing Heidi

First kiss: Andrew S, it was just a peck….but my head spun like I’d just turned around seven times.

First home: Was the farm I grew up at- for the first 15 years. (still feel heartbroken about leaving it)

First Kristen encounter: ‘In the Land of Women’ and I said to my sister – “OMG who is that incredibly gorgeous girl?” Back then I had no idea I wouldn’t click until waayy after Twilight.

First Rob encounter: In Harry Potter 4 – and I cried when his character died 😦

First friend: Jessica, my neighbour and daughter of my parents best friends. We drooled on each other as babies in a cot on ‘get-togethers’ as the story goes.

First traffic ticket: a fine for driving 70 km/h (australia) in a 60km/h zone

First crush: ohh…the one I remember most was Phillip. Actually all my friends had a crush on him and we’d follow him around school singing love songs to him at lunch time. Ahh…somebody please invent a way for me to forget that!

First hospital visit: When I was sick for a week. Scared the bageebas out of me.

First conscious moment of otherness: ha…it’s been there as long as I can remember. But being teased for ‘too much maturity’ from my peers, was certainly a moment of otherness.

1. First Pet: As a kid I had parakeets named Pete and Tweet but I don’t remember them well. My first real pet was a kitten named Oliver.
3. First Concert: Dave Matthews Band- The E-center
4. First Kiss- besides those silly playground kisses of primary school, it would be middle school at a dance, tons of others around…totally awkward.
5. First Home- we moved out when I was 6. I still remember it. I am hoping to buy MY first house soon!
6. First Kristen Encounter- awkward interviews during Twilight promotion…. but the more I saw the more I was intrigued. One quick IMDB search later and I realized she was in so many movies I had seen!
7. First Rob Encounter- HPGoF
8. First Friend- Her name was Beth and she lived down the street from my first house and we had dance class together starting when we were 4.
9. First traffic ticket- ran a red light (I didn’t see it…I was lost…) and ended up a nasty little accident as well as with a ticket.
10. First crush- does George Michael count? (Lol… I LOVED him when I was a small child! I cried when my mom went to his concert and didn’t take me..even though I was 4 years old)
11. First Crush that CRUSHED me: Jake. I was totally in love with him for YEARS while we were in school… totally unrequited the entire time. He dated lots of my friends….and him and I were always friends, but he never wanted to get involved. I think I would still jump at the chance for a night (or more) with him- is that bad? lol
12. First Hospital Visit: I was like 4 or so… I cut my finger open being an impatient child and refusing to wait until my mom get off the phone to cut my apple. 15 stitches to close it up
13. First Conscious Moment of Otherness- 4th grade- getting picked to be a library aid once a week on my recess time was EXCITING for me! I preferred to help out in there than deal with the drama on the playground.
14. First Musical Idol: Michael Jackson- I had posters, records, and even the Thriller barbie doll.
15. First Book I loved madly and re-read constantly: Superfudge by Judy Blume
16. First Childhood Ambition: To be a florist. Too bad I have the OPPOSITE of a green thumb and pollen makes me sneeze like whoa.

First Pet: Our first family pet was Keri, a blonde lab mix, that we got the year I was born. She was a consolation prize for my older brother who didn’t want siblings. The first pet the ended up being mostly mine was Lucy, a black pug we got when I was about 9.

First Movie: I honestly don’t know. My parents took me to the movies with them when I was 6 weeks old. I slept through the whole thing.

First concert: There was an outdoor, free concert at the beach when I was about 7. It was Gloria Estefan (the 80’s so kicked ass).

First kiss: His name was Richard and I was so young I thought it was the most disgusting thing ever. I didn’t kiss another boy for almost 2 years.

First home: I don’t remember the very first since my family moved around a lot when I was small, but the first place I remember living is still there, next door to my grandparents’ old house (where my uncle lives now). We sold it when I was 5 and my dad’s job transferred us 500 miles away from my hometown.

First Kristen encounter: Can’t really remember. I knew her face but not her name.

First Rob encounter: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (poor Cedric!)

First friend: I had 2 at daycare: Davey and Greta. They were a year older than me.

First traffic ticket: I was 17 and doing 69 in a 55. Sucked to be me when I had to tell my parents.

First crush: Remember my friend Davey from daycare? Him. He was crushing on Greta.

First crush that crushed me: While Davey gave me a bit of a twinge, the first boy that really crushed me was Joss in the 1st grade. He was tall, dark & handsome… and someone told him about my crush. Let’s just say he wasn’t kind about it.

First hospital visit: When I was 4, I had pe tubes put in my ears. I went back for subsequent visits when I was 7 (broke both my arms), 8 (sprained wrist), 11 (shoulder injury), 14 (sprained ankle). Yes, I am kind of a klutz.

First conscious moment of otherness: I was 5. It was the worst feeling ever. I was the new kid in class, and even though I had the BEST toy in the kindergarten class, no one wanted to play with the messy haired girl who talked “SO WEIRD.” So, I played by myself… for the rest of the year. And then we moved again.

First musical idol: I didn’t listen to a lot of music when I was kid… but I guess I would have to say Whitney Houston because she’s the first singer whose name I had actually bothered to learn.

First book: The Secret Garden.

First childhood ambition: As ridiculous as it sounds, my first childhood ambition was to be big enough to beat up my brother. After that, I just wanted to do everything and see everything and try everything and be everything.

2. First Movie (in a theater):
Beauty and the Beast. (Still LOVE that movie!)

3. First Concert
small show: Some local band I can’t remember, I do remember the lyrics for one of the songs being the word “sofa” over and over again…
big show: Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals. Still one of the best nights of my life to this day!

4. First Kiss
10th grade. We were alone by the soccer fields and there was like a minute left for the bell to ring and we had an English test. It was one of those “it’s now or never” moments. We got to the test a few minutes late.

5. First Home
On the same street has my grandparents. None of us live there anymore.

6. First Kristen Encounter
Adventureland. A year or so ago. Probably had passed by Panic Room but never noticed it.

7. First Rob Encounter
Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire – had NO idea.

8. First Friend
Joana V. Lost touch when we changed schools in 5th grade. Found her again on Facebook.

9. First traffic ticket
Got a parking ticket because I didn’t notice the street had a meter. Never payed it.

10. First crush
Diogo. 4th grade.

11. First Crush that really crushed me
Joao. 11th grade. Broke up with me on Father’s Day, I had to swallow tears through a whole family dinner!

12. First Hospital Visit
For someone else: 6 or 7 to visit my grandfather after he had surgery.
For myself: 18. Heat allergy, was getting red itchy spots all over my body. Had to stay away from the beach a whole week.

13. First conscious moment of Otherness
Probably around 6 or 7, when all my friends choose to draw or play for free-time at school and I ran to the library corner of the classroom. I always felt kind of grown up compared to the other kids.

14. First Musical Idol
A portuguese group of kids that sang portuguese lyrics to well know songs. I laugh myself to tears listening to it now.

15. First Book I re-read
I read everytihing I could put my hands on from the age of 6, I probably re-read a lot of them. I remember reading a lot of times a very cute one named “A Slap in the Forehead” and one by one of my favorite authors, Alice Vieira, called “Door 12, 2nd Floor” (or something along those lines).

16. First Childhood ambition
I went though a major Beauty and the Beast obsessing phase after seeing the movie. Belle was kind of Other if you really think of it and she liked books. I wanted to be her.
After that I wanted to be a dentist, a teacher and a hairdresser.

I love every single word you wrote here. THANK YOU. You are courageous and witty and I adore you! xo, KJ P.S. Belle IS Other! I thought that the other day as I was watching Beauty and The Beast with my 3 yr old Monkey (niece). An introverted, shy book-lover? Definitely Team Other. x

Not sitting, I am lying on my bed in the dark with my laptop while hubby and kids are asleep

2. Currently I’m wearing:

My warm pj’s and fuzzy x-mas socks

3. Currently I hear:

My husband snoring

4. Currently I smell:

Nothing, my sense of smell has been gone for the past couple of days

5.Currently I taste:

Mint from my Listerine

6. Currently I see:

My laptop screen since it is the only thing that it is illuminated

7. Currently I touch:

My comfy bed, my keyboard

Bits and Pieces:

8. Last Person I spoke with:

Just now with my husband, he said I’ll be loving you forever right before he literally succumbed to sleep within seconds, how does he do that????

9. FanFic chap I just read:

Last Tango in Forks, HOTTTTT

10. Quote rolling around in my head:

“Actually it is not a quote I have had Miley Cyrus’s The Climb on a loop for the past 2 days after hearing it at a kid’s b-day party. It ain’t about how fast I get there, It ain’t what is waiting on the other side, It’s the climb”

11. Random Facts You Wouldn’t Know Unless I Told You:

I am very loyal
I have the memory of an elephant
I am really good remembering b-days, telephone numbers, license plates and even the 16 digits of my first credit card, it was stolen in a trip in Vegas and I called to cancel and gave the number to the teller, I was dating my husband back there and I think that really made an impression.

Spending less than 24 hours in our nation’s capital with dear, dear friends who are gathering from all over the country. Dinner at a friend’s, then a house party. And we have a DD, sparing our beautiful shoes from Metro insanity … heaven.

2. Favorite Christmas gift received this year?

Beautiful sweater from my grandmother who still likes to search for ONE surprise for her adult grandchildren, despite most shopping being done for her.

3. The most important decision of this year is/was. . . . .

Letting go, taking chances and owning my own damn life. Starting with one conversation and NOT ending there …

4. 3 People who inspire me:

1. My friends who have become parents in the last couple of years. They are ROCKING it.
2. One of the executives in my company who lost a spouse to a long, debilitating disease. Has been so selfless for so many years and is now beginning to build a new life.
3. Cliched but true – my mom. Epitome of grace under pressure, at all times.

5. Favorite Movie Right Now:

I JUST watched Pirate Radio for the first time! Adored it. It was musical porn, for one. The cast was pitch perfect. And Mr. Sturridge was so sexy in such an understated way … there were several small moments that just … unf.

Erm, but … White Christmas. Tradition.

6. These 3 people make me laugh…

1. My late-night men, Jon and CoCo
2. That Gentlemen Friend I had That Conversation with
3. My quiet, lovely friend in Phoenix who has the most beautiful speaking voice but is so much more verbose in the written word. Her e-mails kill me. She’s American by birth but a Brit at heart, esp. in terms of her sense of humor.

7. Today I’d like to…

Take a long, hot bath while reading a good book and drinking a glass of wine. Will happen imminently.

8. I cried…

just a bit watching The King’s Speech. And very recently on a long drive thinking of a loved one who’s no longer with us. But in a hearty, cathartic way.

9. Number of siblings I have:

Only child by birth and blood, an older stepbrother and stepsister by choice and by love.

10 . Number of countries I’ve visited

*Only* four so far – England, France, Spain and China … but have had amazing experiences in our own fair country that deserve to be counted. Hiking to a glacier in Montana, shooting automatic weapons in the desert in New Mexico, driving 2,800 miles across country with a charity motorcycle ride, encountering a grizzly bear in Wyoming, leaving my bra behind at a bar in New Orleans, eating fried PB&J and being confused for the owner of a competitive hog at a rodeo in Texas …

11. My Hope for the New Year

is to sort out, one thing at a time, where I want to be and what I want to be doing. No big deal.

12. My hope for Kristen and Rob for the New Year

is that they continue living their lives the way they see fit, choosing roles about which they can be passionate (following this year’s great example) and taking time to escape and recharge as needed. That they understand that while they may have unwittingly stumbled upon extreme fame thanks to one series of movies, that they have many, many fans for whom that series was merely the jumping-off point. The respect and admiration that those fans have is based on talent, dedication, intelligence, quirkiness and a refusal to bow down to what’s expected at all times. (whew)

14. I will eat anything put in front of me except…

Onions. Allergic. If that’s cheating, then green beans.

15. One of the blessings I’ve received in being in this passionate/nutty fandom…

Interactions with really interesting, intelligent witty people I’d never have come across otherwise.

Hi Emma! I’m glad to see you here! Thanks for checking out the new site and the new essay. I’ve linked Team Kristen to the page as well, so it should be on the sidebar with the other links amongst Rebel Royals’ Supporters. Thank YOU for supporting and spreading the word about Team Kristen Site and Musings. You’ve always been so kind and generous with your time and words. Take Care. Always, KJ

Congratulations on the new home!
I had a pleasure of discover your blog through IMDB for some time but never posted before.
Now reading About KJ I see why you are soooo good and interesting….
I never in my life followed as a fan an artist as I do with Kristen. I am an old movie goer who love the art of acting, all the things linked to a movie or TV series. I went to see New Moon to understand all the buzz and one only thing magnetized me since the first moment, Kristen Stewart. She impressed me! I went home, discovered she was the kid in Panic Room and rest is history. She is amazing as an actor and also as a public figure, because borned inside the business in a family of artists who see the business as a craft. It is amazing to watch an extraordinary person grow and become huge. Never before we could do that because the Internet, blogs and sites. Look to Kristen is the same that see the process of the creating of an Ingrid Bergman, Vanessa Redgrave, Meryl Streep, Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, between others. Extraordinary women, each one in their time!
You know… You probably was borned in the Internet way of life but I not. I saw this born and grow in one amazing thing. Some of the internauts, mostly younger, don’t give any valor to it and use this to free the worst side of the humanity but exist people like you and CC that brings the best of the human race to the lives of people from all the world. I am a Brazilian who would never have the opportunity to chat and to exchange experiences with people like you guys. This is a miracle, a bless! People from all world who have just one objective, feel good giving something, helping someone in some way.
Thanks for be what you are and for give us every week a little part of you, brighten our day and also for bring a smile to my face. Sorry for my english…

Hi there! I’m so glad you decided to stop by and say hello and share a bit of yourself with us! Welcome! I agree with your assessment about Kristen developing into the next Meryl Sreep, Kate Winslet, Vanessa Redgrave, etc. She is truly a special talent, and it has been a joy to witness her evolution. I, like you, as described in the Origins of Musings page, have never really followed anyone celebrity or otherwise this closely. But I was enthralled with Kristen’s authenticity and willingness to be nervous and shy and tentative about speaking publicly. Thank you for your kind words. I can tell you that I only wanted to create Musings for a little piece of quiet. Some of the worst of human nature has surfaced in these two years of following Twilight and Kristen and Rob, I agree with you, so it’s nice to connect up with positive, open and supportive folks out in the world. *waves hello to BRAZIL!* Thank you so much for writing such lovely words! Take Care, KJ