In the past few days, the internet in my house has been down. That has meant no television, no recorded shows, and no entertainment of any electronic kind. My recourse was to watch DVD movies. I rented “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.” In the movie, Tom Hanks embodies Fred Rogers, the personable, gentle host of “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.” The movie’s plot focuses on his relationship with a journalist navigating challenges with his family while demonstrating the power of caring and forgiveness. The film also shows the importance of being fully present for and making connections with people. For these reasons, it is the perfect movie for helping to understand how to get through this COVID-19 pandemic.

CONNECTING MISTER ROGERS AND CAREGIVING

How does Mister Rogers factor in? He knew the importance of connecting with others and how to help them feel important. He took the time to make a difference. Informal and formal caregivers are doing that now more than ever. Family members care for loved ones at home while balancing work and family priorities. Confined at home, they do not get much of a break. Care partners in the nursing home support their residents as routines change and family members are not allowed to visit. Care partners are going above and beyond their normal responsibilities to pitch in as needed to keep things running smooth, providing additional emotional support to compensate for the changes and restrictions.

For the caregivers at home and in the nursing home, you are not alone. The work you are doing is valuable and noble. Even if you are experiencing compassion fatigue, exhaustion, and trials, remember that you are making a difference. Thankfully, this COVID-19 quarantine will end, and the challenges today will be different tomorrow.

WORDS OF WISDOM

In the film, Mister Rogers helped to create an environment of forgiveness, which is important now and when the COVID-19 quarantine ends. As caregivers, we need to remember to forgive ourselves if we fall short of our expectations and when we take time for ourselves. One quote that is attributed to Mister Rogers is “You can’t really love someone else unless you really love yourself first.” It’s always true in caregiving, and it is especially important for caregivers to remember as we continue to go through the COVID-19 restrictions.

The COVID-19 pandemic must inspire significant changes in how long term care is treated and resourced.

The COVID-19 pandemic has placed long term care in the spotlight. Immense challenges have existed for decades, but salt is now in the wound.

Some lawyers see this pandemic as an opportunity to teach the long term care industry a lesson. In addition, various media outlets see this as a chance to catch the big story of the devastated family member of one who lived in a nursing home.

The Front Line

Let’s begin by acknowledging Mr. Carlson’s observation about the societal negative narrative about the people who work in long term care. Facts:

4.5 million direct care workers support older adults and people with disabilities across the U.S

Turnover is 40 – 60% because the work is difficult and workers are under-appreciated and under-paid

42% of direct care workers rely on some form of public assistance to make ends meet

Despite the discouraging realities of this work, millions show up every shift, on weekends and holidays, and even during a pandemic. In addition, they put themselves at risk to do the work that nobody else can or wants to do.

Direct care workers are concerned about the well-being of those in their care. Feedback from communities trained in Compassionate Touch reveals that despite the stress and time constraints, staff still find time to calm and reassure their residents with Compassionate Touch. Compassionate Touch®

These workers and the residents they care for deserve better- much better. They don’t deserve disrespect or to be described as criminals. Furthermore, they deserve respect, esteem, and wages that reflect the societal value of growing old with dignity and quality care.

I hope that a higher level of respect and helpful attention for aging services will be an outgrowth of this pandemic.

Julie has worked in Aging Services for over 30 years and has been a Licensed Nursing Home Administrator since 1990. She is a Certified Master Trainer with the AGE-u-cate Training Institute. Through her company Enlighten Eldercare, Julie provides training and educational programs on elder caregiving for family and professional caregivers. In addition, she is an instructor and the Interim Director of Gerontology at Northern Illinois University and lives in the Chicago Northwest Suburb of Mount Prospect, IL.

The emergence of the COVID-19 pandemic has created challenges. The economy is fluctuating, with a significant number of people becoming unemployed or being furloughed. The stress of not being able to spend face-to-face time with loved ones is difficult to manage. The quarantine challenges all of us to make changes and cope with being separated from family members, especially those living in long-term care communities. Given the isolation and loneliness that residents are likely to experience, it is more important than ever to maintain bonds and closeness however possible.

During times like these, how do you maintain bonds and closeness with family members living under the COVID-19 restrictions? Care communities are finding different ways to help family members stay in touch while maintaining safety and infection controls. This community created a special way for residents to connect with family members. Another communitiy found a way to help brighten a resident’s day.

Sending cards or notes is another good way to keep in touch. Also, sending a note of thanks to the community can also help encourage care partners. Providing a care package would also show support. Care partners are coping with the stress of supporting isolated residents while maintaining infection control procedures.

It is also crucial for all care partners, those in the long-term care community and family members, to also take care of themselves. As COVID-19 has had a significant impact on our economy and interaction with others, it is more important than ever to engage in self-care. The Family Caregiver Alliance has a great list of resources and articles. As every caregiver knows, you cannot take care of others if you are not taking care of yourself. Self-care will enable a caregiver to be more fully present and able to support and care for loved ones in the long-term care community, especially during the COVID-19 quarantine.

The COVID-19 pandemic continues with no obvious end in sight. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) provides information and updates on the Coronavirus disease. States are lifting restrictions, allowing for life to feel more normal, a term that has taken on a new meaning. The current normal involves different rituals and ways to interact with our community and, especially, our loved ones in the long-term care.

Wearing masks in public, washing our hands for at least 20 seconds, and staying at home are now more commonplace. While these measures are a part of our current daily life, other changes are much more inconvenient and harder to adjust to. With long-term care communities under lockdown, families are unable to be fully present with a loved one living in a quarantined community. Mother’s Day this year took on a different form with the ritual of being with mothers, grandmothers, and family having been reshaped out of necessity and precaution.

With restrictions in place, caregivers have come up with creative ways to connect and maintain social bonds with family members living in nursing homes and other long-term care communities. News stories like this one demonstrate how family members are staying in touch and how community care partners are responding. New ways of staying in touch include FaceTime calls and visiting through a family member’s room window. Long-term care communities have created new activities to maintain social interactions between residents.

It is hard missing out on visiting with family, sharing meals and memories, and being unable to communicate through touch. Both family members and care partners are creating new rituals to connect with residents in communities. Some ways to connect with family members in the long-term care setting can include sending a link to a favorite song via email, sending an electronic card, and sharing photo albums by FaceTime or Zoom calls. AARP provides additional ideas additional ideasto help keep family members and residents connected

No matter how you stay connected with your loved one, it is important to remember you are doing all you can do. We are in strange times that call for alternative measures. By maintaining connections you are providing support and care for both family members and their formal care partners. Even new rituals can help maintain lifelong bonds during these unprecedented times.