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MINA HARKER LIVES -- LEADS SAN
FRANCISCO 'VAMPIRE TOUR'

by Thomas M. Sipos, managing editor.
[May 31, 2006]

[WeeklyUniverse.com]
Mina Harker, who defeated Dracula in 1897 -- according to Bram
Stoker's novel -- is today a dark creature of the night seeking
blood
-- all the while making ends meet by conducting vampire
tours in San Francisco!

Her tour begins on the corner
of California and Taylor Streets on Nob Hill, on Friday and Saturday nights,
where she opens by telling everyone, "You mortals don't know anything about
us vampires!"

Harker then reveals the
secret history of vampires -- including how the vampire community helped
shape San Francisco.

The first stop on her tour
is Grace
Cathedral, where Harker relates the tale of the bronze doors. The Cathedral was modeled on Notre Dame in Paris. Its doors were
originally on a church in Florence, Italy. Vampires helped move the
doors to the U.S. during World War Two so they wouldn't fall into Nazi
hands.

After the war, Notre Dame
let Grace Cathedral keep them.

Harker disputes the "myth"
that vampires can't enter hallowed ground. But ominously, she refrained
from taking her tour out of the cold and into the Cathedral's warmth --
thus failing to prove her contention!

At the Nob Hill Cafe, Harker
tells how many decades ago, the site was the scene of a series of bizarre Sweeney
Todd style murders!

Patrons entering the men's
room would drop down a trapdoor, to be robbed and killed in the cafe basement.

Harker admits that bad vampires
were behind this, stealing blood as well as property and lives.

Harker also takes her mortal
customers to Huntington Park, the Pacific-Union Club, and the Fairmont
Hotel, relating each landmark's "official history," and then its secret
and true vampire history!

Harker ends the tour inside
the Mark Hopkins Hotel, where her tourists warm themselves, and use the
facilities to relieve their bladders.

Before
her tour, Harker often distributes free vampire music CD samplers, and
raffles free vampire gifts, to lucky ticker buyers!

And
yes! -- Apart from her regularly scheduled tours Harker is available for
private tours!

While
Mina Harker continues to insist that her real name is "Mina Harker," and
that she is the same Mina Harker that Bram
Stoker wrote about, she is also for some unknown and mysterious reason
known as "Kitty Burns."

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