Friday, 15 February 2013

What Support Do You Need?

I have found a particular lupus support group to be an absolute blessing. It's just people with lupus, and sometimes some of their family members, getting together for lunch from time to time, and supporting each other on-line.

For me the opportunity to spend time with people who "get it", who just understand what it is like to live with lupus without me having to explain anything is a joy. Through this group I've met new friends who I basically only know on-line, but who have become incredibly important to me. These people who mostly live in my computer, but who I sometimes have lunch with, have become an essential part of my support system.

I know someone, however, who was very frightened when diagnosed, and didn't feel this group supported her at all well. She needed some sort of professional support group - a counsellor or nurse to explain to her what lupus was and what she could expect. A group of people who were all sick, and not necessarily available in office hours or some other set regular time, and without the wanted information at their fingertips, just wasn't what she needed.

Obviously, not everyone needs the same things when it comes to support.

We all need some amount of information. When I was first diagnosed, I did my research, the same as I researched for news stories as a journalist, or for essays as a student, or for sermons as a minister. I got hold of relevant information in books and on-line. I read the research, and found out the information I needed. Not everyone has training and experience in research.

If you're not used to finding information, there's some basic places to look, over on the Lupus Links page. To find reliable information, go to the Medical Information section, and look especially at the government sponsored sites. That's your starting point. If you want to know more from there, see what links those sites give you. You can also write a list of questions for your doctor. Remember that lupus is a very strange disease, not everyone will get all the symptoms, not everyone will have the same severity of symptoms, and probably no-one can predict exactly what your lupus will do.

If you're like me, you'll need to have someone to talk with who understands what it's like. On the Lupus Links page, you'll find some support groups, there will be lots more out there, this is just what I found in a very quick search of the net, with additions made as I've heard about other groups. Support groups vary. Some are large enough to have a professional staff. Many others are more like the group I'm a part of, just lupies doing what they can (each within their own limits) to support each other. If you don't find a support person or group which meets your needs, ask your doctor to refer you somewhere appropriate. It may be that what you really need as a psychologist or counsellor to help you deal with just how much your life is changing.

You can also find support on social media sites - and I have a few of those links listed as well. If the first site you try doesn't suit you, don't give up, and don't assume that makes the site "bad" it just means it's not for you. Try another site, eventually you will find what you need.

And there are blogs like this one - and you'll find a number of them on the links page as well - people who have lupus sharing what that means for our everyday lives. With blogs, bear in mind that the reliability of information varies wildly. Don't try to count on them for medical information. Patient blogs are more about awareness and sharing of personal experience. Use them to remind yourself that you're not alone, to see how other people solve some of the problems you face, even to take the time to have a laugh at your situation.

If you've found a really great source of support, I'd love to hear about it. Please leave a comment on this post, or on the Sometimes, it is Lupus Facebook or Google+ Pages.

I have had Lupus for 23 years now. I have struggled on and off always determined to be one step ahead of this disease. In the begining there was not much support and little was known so I always researched on my own and just kept my disease to myself. This is wonderful. Thank you for allowing all to express their thoughts and know there is others out there who know your pain.

Other blogs and books by the same author

Blogs

Patchwork

Patchwork is an anthology of short stories and poems by author and blogger Iris Carden. In this volume, you will deal with the aftermath of a dog bite in Bad Moon Rising, spend a sleepless night with The Possum in the Roof, and investigate a weird religious cult in The Time of Blood and Death. The print version of the book has a bonus story not in the eBook version.

Beside Still Waters

A book of sermons and brief reflections on Christian Scripture, by Rev Iris Carden. There is no specific order to the items in the book, they are intended to each be a "surprise" in that they are not related to the items around them. It is hoped that in each, the reader will find something new or special, or unexpected, a message from God. Rev Iris Carden has a Master's Degree in Theology and more than 10 years of experience as a Christian minister.

Cat-it-orial

Mr Bumpy is such a talented cat, he even runs his own website: mrbumpycat.com. He is a blogger, and a very bad cat. His favourite hobby is world domination. His next hobby is harassing the humans and other animals he shares a home with. In this book, you can see the world through the eyes of a megalomanicat, and some of the other animals who share his home.

Group Meeting

(Novella) In a facility for people recovering from mental illness: a group of people with sinister pasts starts to be visited by a girl who doesn't exist.

Karlee

Failing author Terry Dixon is made an offer that seems unbelievable. He can have all of his problems solved, have everything he has ever wanted, for a price. The price is something that "will not be too difficult" for him to pay - but it is not specified what it actually will be. With bills mounting up and a deadline looming, Terry agrees to a deal with something he knows nothing about.

About the Author

Iris Carden is a retired Uniting Church minister and former journalist. Lupus forced her to stop working. On good days she writes.

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This is an Australian Blog

Some of the issues, resources, information discussed may not be relevant to overseas readers. (Some things may not even be relevant outside of Queensland.)

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Contact Me

My email address is iris@sometimesitislupus.com

Have Something to Share on Sometimes, it is Lupus?

Lupus Links

Do you run a lupus-related website, or blog? Submit your links for the Lupus Links Page by emailing iris@sometimesitislupus.com and using the subject heading "Lupus Links." Tell me your page name and web address. If you have a social media page for lupus awareness/support, you will find you can now add your link to the page directly.

Lupus Business Directory

If you have a chronic illness and own/run a business, you can submit it to the Lupus Business Directory (listing is free). Email iris@sometimesitislupus.com using the subject heading "Lupus Business Directory." Give me your name, your chronic health condition, the name and web address of your business and a picture if you'd like one included.

In Memorium

You can add your personal memorial messages in memory of lupies who have fallen in the battle against the wolf in the comments section of this page. Or you can email them to iris@sometimesitislupus.com with the subject heading "In Memorium".

Warriors' Wall (goes live World Lupus Day, 10th May 2013)

If you are a lupus warrior who has something to say, please email iris@sometimesitislupus.com with the subject heading "Warriors' Wall". Include in the email, a nice clear photo of you, your first name, year diagnosed, country, and what you want to tell the world about lupus. (Up to 100 words.)

Blog written by Iris Carden. Permission is given to copy, with attribution, for non-profit purposes. Picture Window theme. Powered by Blogger.