Sunday, March 26, 2017

Just musing from my ivory tower. Just musing on the current political climate. Just musing, just musing, neither right nor left because I never discuss politics in public or on blogs. Just musing.

Here's an idea. Why not have three houses of the legislative branch?

Why not have a legislative house for the rest of us? Call it the Humble House. Its members will be called Humble Persons.

Humble Person: an elected official that represents the average Joe or Jane (You figure out the legalese).

Qualifications: A Humble Person shall have the same qualifications as a U.S. Representative, except that: the Humble Person must have attained the age of 35, have one or more dependent children living in the household with at least one between the ages of 2 and 17; and have an annual household income of no greater than 5 percent of the median income of the Humble Person's state. (You figure out the legalese).

Distribution: The number of Humble Persons representing each state shall be determined based upon a formula: 1 half of 1 percent of the total number of middle class U.S. citizens residing in that state; furthermore, there shall be no fewer than 3 and no greater than 10 Humble Persons representing each state; and at least one of the Humble Persons from each state must have an annual income that is at or below the poverty level.(You figure out the legalese).

Powers: All bills concerning social issues passed by the Senate and the House of Representatives must also pass the Humble House before reaching the Chief Executive's desk. From time to time, the Humble House shall create a bill when it seems that the other two houses need direction on a particular issue. The Humble Persons shall partake in the approving of Supreme Court Justices and all presidential appointments. The Humble House shall have no input into matters of foreign policy, international trade, or war, except in cases where over 1 percent of people are subject to job loss or 1 percent of people under 21 are called up to fight (You figure out the legalese).

Salary: Current household income plus 5 Percent of their current household income. In addition, all household bills of the Humble Person shall be paid by the Government, not including healthcare, life insurance, income taxes, or college tuition and fees. All travel and other expenses associated with the Humble House shall be paid for by the government. This salary comes with no annual raise. All Humble Persons are encouraged to remain in the real world. (You figure out the legalese).

Term: 4 years. Election period shall coincide with Presidential elections so that the Humble House Representatives shall be attached to a particular President.

Just musing.

But seriously.

We have the Senate, and all Senators are smart and good people, but ALL Senators are so far removed from the rest of us living in the real world.

We have the House of Representatives, and all Representatives are smart and good people, but ALL Representatives are far removed from the rest of us living in the real world.

Ask a senator: “How much does a gallon of milk cost?” Watch what happens.

Every single member of the U.S. Legislature is a good person, but All of them, All of them, ALL of them are so out of touch with the American people. We elect them to represent us, and they do so to the best of their abilities, but how can they do that with even the slightest modicum of success?

How can they represent us if they aren’t like us?

How can they represent us if they don't know us?

How can they represent us if they can't feel what we feel?

The America government is a government of the people for the people by the people. So where are the people in government?

Monday, May 23, 2016

The film, DENNIS, demonstrates to an extreme and absurd extent the results of a domineering parent on an adult child. The shrewish mother controls the protagonist Dennis by making him feel guilty and dependent on her when in fact it is she who is dependent on him. She is lonely, it seems, because she has no male companion. Early in the film, Dennis shyly tells her, “I’m going to the movies with Peter.” This is not true. He is actually going on a date with a girl Peter has set him up with, but he must lie rather than tell his mother he is going out with a girl. The lie he tells is shown to us as a fib, a “naughty” little boy’s way of deceiving. You can’t see his hands the way the scene is shot, but you can imagine his fingers crossed as he fibs. His mother responds by saying, “It’s okay for you to stand people up like that.” We can see the result this has on the hulking Dennis now completely immersed in the role of the “little boy” who has disappointed his mom with his “sneaky,” dishonest behavior. To make up for is misdeed, he hangs his head guiltily and volunteers to put away the groceries—one of his “duties” she reminds him. In their cramped tiny kitchen, it’s hard to miss that he towers over her--she looks tiny and frail beneath him. If he doesn’t move out of the way, she cannot pass to go into her room—but move out of the way he does. The contrast in their size in this scene is emphasized by the camera angles, and it is important as the director wants to illustrate that a mother of this type can take away the manhood of even someone as physically imposing as this bodybuilder. And thus the mouse controls the elephant much to our surprise and amazement.

This emasculating due to guilt extends beyond the home as is demonstrated by his awkwardness in social situations in general, but especially around members of the opposite sex. Not only does he shrink before his little mouse of a mother, but he is now exposed to other little mice who can sense his condition and victimize him further. This is illustrated quite effectively in the scenes in the restaurant and at the party. At the restaurant he is a disappointment in the eyes of his date, Patricia, because he drinks Coca Cola rather than alcohol, an adult’s beverage. “I’m in training,” he lies. (It is because his mother scolds him when he drinks we will learn in a later scene.) Also there is a noticeable smirk on his date’s face when he tells another transparent fib when asked if he lives alone. “Yes,” he tells her, averting his eyes. You can see in her face that she doubts his words and is debating whether to call his bluff by asking to go home with this enormous “little child man” for a night of “adult” activities. How amusing that would’ve been.

Instead she invites him to a party and he agrees to go, but first he must take the padlock off his bike—his mode of transportation in a country concerned about the environment? Perhaps. In this film, however, it is just one more framing of him as a child—a giant on a child’s mode of transportation. In the scene at the party, he is made to undress and dance by three more little mice for their amusement. When the “real” adult males appear, they are little mice too compared to him in size, but like all mice they sense his weakness and victimize him as well by laughing derisively at him calling him a “lump.” (Of cheese?) No wonder the giant flees down the stairs and out of the apartment.

Finally, the giant “little boy” cannot take any more of this abuse and returns home. He has tried to escape his mom by running away and it hasn’t worked. The world outside his cage is too dangerous and so he returns to the only place where he feels safe. Now he is so humbled by shame and guilt that he cannot face her, but he must take her scolding if he is to regain her protection. She asks him how the movie was, knowing full well he did not go there. Had he gone there, would his shirt be inside out? She observes too that he has been drinking—he is becoming more like his father, an alcoholic (but perhaps a real man?) She goes to bed, leaving the child thoroughly chastised by her insinuations. Wracked with guilt, he goes into his bedroom, takes off his shirt, again revealing his massive physique, but after a while we see him in her room where he asks timidly, “Can I sleep with you?” What does he mean by that? No, this is not incest, but much worse. The mouse says, “Yes, you may,” rolls over, and pulls back the sheet. And the elephant climbs in—so much like a mom and her giant “little” boy, lying safe beside her.

Monday, October 26, 2015

I was low today, and I couldn't understand why. Then I remembered that Glenn died last night. Yeah. That's it.

I feel as if though I've lost a longtime friend. We were friends in a way. Not "in a way" dammit. He was my friend. He told me all of his secrets. I told him all of mine. He told me he loved Maggie long before he asked Herschel for her hand. I rooted for him through all his battles with the dead and the undead. He always knew how to get out of a tight situation. He is like the little girl in the red dress in SCHINDLER'S LIST. Small. Weak. Least likely to survive you would think if you didn't see how resourceful she was, how ferociously she clung to life. That's why I will miss him. How ferociously he clung to life. I may even weep when I am alone.

I haven't felt this way about a television character since Hank was killed by the Neo-Nazis on BREAKING BAD. That one hit me hard too. I was out of it for days. Not a good time for me.

What is it with these AMC TV shows? How do their writers get me to invest so much in their characters?

I was low today, and I couldn't understand why. Then I remembered that Glenn died last night. Yeah. That's it.

I feel as if though I've lost a longtime friend. We were friends in a way. Not "in a way" dammit. He was my friend. He told me all of his secrets. I told him all of mine. He told me he loved Maggie long before he asked Herschel for her hand. I rooted for him through all his battles with the dead and the undead. He always knew how to get out of a tight situation. He is like the little girl in the red dress in SCHINDLER'S LIST. Small. Weak. Least likely to survive you would think if you didn't see how resourceful she was, how ferociously she clung to life. That's why I will miss him. How ferociously he clung to life. I may even weep when I am alone.

I haven't felt this way about a television character since Hank was killed by the Neo-Nazis on BREAKING BAD. That one hit me hard too. I was out of it for days. Not a good time for me.

What is it with these AMC TV shows? How do their writers get me to invest so much in their characters?

Monday, September 23, 2013

Going through my files, I found this list from my WebTV Webpage. Remember WebTV? It had to be written somewhere around 2000-2002.

Man, I was cocky back then. And sharp. Enjoy.

_____________________________________

So you want to publish your book . . . here's a list of 10 things you ought to do.

1) Sit down and write the book.

That's right. Sit down and write. Lots of writers talk the talk, but they don't walk the walk. They want to live a writer's lifestyle (whatever that is). They are attracted to the writer's celebrity status (whatever they think that is). They are eager to puff their egos by seeing their names on a book jacket on a bookshelf at Barnes and Noble (and yes, that does puff one's ego). They desire to introduce themselves to strangers with a firm handshake and a hearty--"My name is FILLINTHEBLANK, and I am a writer." Cut the crap. Stop posing and get that book written. I have worked with too many clients (when I was editing books) that would hand me six or seven typed pages and say, "Here's where I've gotten so far, Tell me what you think of it." My answer would invariably be: "I think you are a poser. Go write. Come back when this has grown up." Writers write. And publishers publish manuscripts that are longer than six pages. Spend an hour every morning writing two pages. In six months you'll have your first book. It may not be great, but at least it will be finished and we can talk about it.

2) Copyright the book.

Now a few years ago, I would never have wasted your time or mine with this piece of advice. In fact, if you had asked me a question about copyrights back then, I would have told you not to worry about it. "No one is going to steal your book," I would have told you. "If a publisher really likes your writing, they won't steal it. The work is like the golden egg, but you are the goose that lays the egg. If they steal the work, they sell one book. But if they sign you as one of their writers, they can sell a series of your books. That makes more sense." Recent personal events, however, have demonstrated that people do steal a writer's work. Protect yourself. Enough on this.

3) Get another set of eyes to read the book.

Join a writer's group or sign up for a creative writing class at a local college and have someone competent and objective read your book. Listen to their advice on what works and what does not work with your book. As the author, you do not have to take all of their advice, but you should listen to it. This helps you to gauge how an audience will read your book--such information can be valuable when you make later decisions on what to cut and what not to cut. Writing groups and creative writing classes are also good places to help you tighten your prose and fix your grammar and clean up your typos. As writers, we often have a vision of the book in our heads that is quite different from the actual book that is written on the pages. We become blind to our mistakes. Worse yet, our hubris makes us unwilling to cut dull and longwinded passages. So get your book read by an objective reader or two and leave your ego at the door.

4) Find twenty to twenty-five publishers who might be interested in publishing your book.
There are a couple ways of doing this. The first way is to be a good reader. If you are a good reader, then you already have many books on your shelves that are similar to the one you have written. Who published these books? Start writing that list. The second way is to go to a bookstore and pick up books that are similar to yours. Who published these books? You can go online and do the same thing. You can also go to a very important book called the THE NOVEL AND SHORT STORY WRITER'S MARKET and do the same thing. This is your target list.

5) Arrange the target list in order of most prestigious to least prestigious.

When you start sending out your manuscript you will begin with the publishers at the top of the list and work your way down. In the words of author Lynne Barrett told us in grad school, "Your manuscript, like water, will find its own level."

6) Write a MEETS hook.

Think about your book. Think about two other books (or movies) that it is similar to. Then write your MEETS hook. Your MEETS hook should sound something like this: "My novel, CHARITY GARNER'S BOYS is a story of rage, temptation, gangsters, and surprising compassion set in the high plateaus of depression era South Dakota [. . . include a brief description of the book . . . then finish with . . .] It is like BONNIE AND CLYDE meets THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY.

7) Get an agent.

Once you have tightened up the book, gotten your target list together, and written your MEETS hook, it is time to get an agent. Why do you need an agent? Because you need a friend and guide in the publishing world. Yes, there are writers who have gotten published without agents. They are not the rule--they are lucky. An agent will get 15% commission on your book, and he/she will be worth every penny of that commission. How do you get an agent? There are several ways to do this. Send out query letters to agents listed online or in books such as THE NOVEL AND SHORT STORY WRITER'S MARKET (there are many good books and online sources that will guide you through query-letter writing--do consult them). Ask another writer to introduce you to his/her agent--but expect to be turned down. Writers guard their agents jealously. Go to writer's conferences and take a course with the agent (s), who will read your manuscript and maybe sign you up for representation. Note: It is a good idea to go to writer's conferences regardless. Many authors have gotten their books sold or represented through contacts made at writer's conferences.

8) Beware of agents who charge a fee.
Usually, agents do not charge a fee. Agents take 15% commission on advances and book sales. Think about it: if an agent charged even, say, $25 per manuscript as a reading fee, he/she could make a pretty decent living without ever having to do the hard work of actually selling a book. There are a few, very few, big name New York agents that charge a small fee--if you get a chance to work with one of these, pay the fee by all means! Beware of agents who solicit you--most reputable agents have more clients than they can handle. If an agent contacts you via phone, letter, or email, ask for a list of published clients. There are many writers out there eager to get into print and they are easy prey for predators posing as agents and editors.

9) Help your agent to sell your book.

Once you have gotten your agent, give her/him your plan for selling your book: the target list of publishers, your MEETS hook. The agent will likely modify the target list based on her/his contacts in the publishing world. The agent may also modify your MEETS a bit. The agent will also want to know what audience you wrote the book for: age, race, gender, level of education. You should be able to answer all of these questions. It is also likely that the agent, upon signing you up, already has a few publishers in mind for your book, publishers that he/she has worked with in the past and who are looking for a book such as yours. If this is the case, you have hit the jackpot. Just sit on your hands, and let your agent do his/her job.

10) If All Else Fails . . .

Should I self-publish? Maybe--but hold on there a minute. Did you join a writer's group? Did you leave your ego at the door? Did you edit and then really edit your book? Did you go to a writer's conference and hobnob with agents and publishers? Maybe you should enter your book in a few contests. Try that. If all else has failed, then maybe you should self-publish. Self-publishing is not a bad idea if you are the right kind of person. I hope to build another link in a month or two that addresses the issue of self-publishing with a greater thoroughness. For now, let me leave with you with a few tips. 1) Get a company that is inexpensive. The self-publishing companies that charge $5000 provide roughly the same quality service as the ones that are $750, $450, $250, or free. 2) Make sure your book is copyrighted. 3) Don't purchase any of their add-on services. They are a waste of time and if you need them, you can always get them cheaper at Office Depot. 4) If you plan to get rich on the book, prepare to have a professional marketing plan; in fact, you need to hire a professional publicist. This will cost you money, but it will be worth it. 5) Be prepared to travel to sell your book. 6) Be prepared to make deals with bookstore managers to stock your books. 7) Be prepared to work.

Friday, September 20, 2013

I found this on Yahoo Answers posted in June. It is typical of the debate that exploded in the cyber universe, and in front of TV sets and in bars around the world after the article on MJ dissing Lebron James came out and the 2012 NBA finals ended a few months ago, crowning Lebron and the Miami Heat as back-to-back NBA champs.

___________________________

MJ can stick it where the sun don't shine. He can't touch LBJ in elimination games or game 7s. LBJ is just way too damn good. Better passer, rebounder, and all around defender already. Plus he isn't busy losing money gambling or sucking at baseball. MJ had Rodman, Pippen, Armstrong, Kukoc, and Grant. Scary thing is LBJ is 28 years old and just now reaching his prime!! Repeat back to back champions looking for a 3rd straight. What a champ!!

____________________________

In response to the poster, who calls himself Jesse, I have to yell WHATTTTT!!!!! And to correct him on one finals point. True Lebron and the Heat have won more finals elimination games than Jordan and the Bulls.

Read my lips.

Jordan and the Bulls usually won the finals in game six!

I've got to give it to you on the baseball and gambling, though. True Dat.

It's like watching a comedy about the assassination of Martin Luther King or JFK, and Martin Lawrence, Eddie Murphy, and Jim Carry are the bumbling conspirators.

You're laughing at the antics because they are hilarious and well acted but at times you look around in shame that you find this stuff funny. But it is funny. It's like watching an eloquent junior high school bully picking on the fat kid. It's like watching your mom slip on her bum in the snow. Funny stuff, but maybe you shouldn't be laughing.

So funny that I had to stop the movie at times because of the brutality that I was enjoying.

It's like a Quentin Tarantino movie based on a true story--true story that ruined one man's life and took the lives of two others.

For a gambler it is a mere nuisance. Another trip to the ATM machine at most. For a gambler, it's the price of doing business.

Let's see now, if the sisters have but a modest gambling habit, they're probably not unused to blowing a couple hundred bucks per gambling binge. And if they are complete degenerates--which the evidence implies they are--a thousand dollars a day is an average binge. It doesn't hurt a degenerate as much as non gamblers might think.

A degenerate gambler by his nature has thicker skin than that or he's not a degenerate.

Those kids are fortunate that the sisters took the time to see that the air conditioner was left on.

Two South Florida sisters are facing child neglect charges after authorities say they left their young children in a car while they gambled inside a casino.

Malory Pierre, 27, and Romanie Pierre, 31, are both facing four counts of child neglect without great harm after they left four children inside a running car outside the Mardi Gras Casino in Hallandale Beach Sunday, according to an arrest report read by Broward Circuit Judge John Hurley in court Monday.

Both were ordered held on $5,000 bond and it was unknown whether they have attorneys.

According to Hurley, the sisters took the car full of children -- ages 8, 5, 4 and 2 -- to the casino Sunday evening and left them in the running car while they went inside.

A woman noticed the kids were in the car between 20 and 30 minutes and called 911. Police arrived and had to have one of the kids unlock the car, Hurley said.

The oldest child told officers that their step-mom and her sister went inside and left them there. When officers found and questioned the sisters, one of them said she had gone inside to use the bathroom, while the other said she went inside to ask a question, Hurley said.

But after a brief investigation, police discovered the two had gone inside and were gambling and had checked in at the player's club and were playing slots, Hurley said.

Hurley ordered the two to stay out of casinos if they post bond, but wavered when asked by prosecutors to order them to have no contact with the children.

"It's inappropriate behavior there's no doubt about it, however, I'm not sure that, there's just a part of me that says it may be going too far to keep them away from the children," Hurley said.

The sisters said the children were at home with their mother, and Hurley decided against keeping them away from their kids.

"Hopefully these two have been scared and have been put in jail and maybe shocked into coming to their senses that what they have allegedly done is extremely poor judgment and I'm not going to take their kids away," he said.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Wow. If I had that kind of money, I would never have become a gambler. My ass. When I was still in the game, I would have lost all that and then some.

__________________

So a lot of people had money on the Packers on Monday night, and a lot of people lost that money when that last call went in favor of the Seahawks — the swing in Vegas was as much as $9.2 million, according to Vegas Insider (via The Big Lead). And worldwide, the swing was as much as $300 million, says R.J. Bell of Pregame.com.

A large chunk of that was wagered by a Mr. Charles Barkley, and yes, he had the Packers. And he is not amused. Barkley stopped in to talk on The Mike Missanelli Show on 97.5 The Fanatic in Philadelphia on Tuesday. Barkley:

“I’m just angry. I love to gamble, I can live with winning and losing, but I don’t ever want to get jobbed like I did [Monday] night. I’m going to give you a quick synopsis. Everybody is going crazy over the catch, but I got screwed on the roughing the passer, I got screwed on the pass interference, I got screwed on the interception and I found out today that they actually have a real official in the replay booth who could’ve overruled that? I got screwed four times and that makes it even worse.”

In Roulette, it's easy to make a few bucks betting even money.
But as a player begins to seek higher rewards, it becomes much more difficult. Inside odds of 2-to-1, 8-to-1, 17-to-1 and finally 35-to-1 wear out and grind down even the biggest bankrolls. Roulette, it is fair to say, "ain't the easiest game in the casino."

I was playing during what must have been The Beau Rivage graveyard shift. Even for a weekday night it seemed particularly quiet. No big action at the Craps tables. No high rollers working at the Blackjack tables either. But that was certainly not true for the Roulette table. That's where I was; playing Roulette.
A gorgeous brunette walked over and dropped a twenty dollar bill in front of the croupier. She seemed to be a bit nervous, but that's not unusual for first-time gamblers. The croupier, working alone, made her change in four casino five-dollar chips, per her instructions. She then put three of the four chips into her purse, and placed the remaining chip straight up on number thirty-six. It was a long-odds bet (35 to 1) and probably her last before she returned to whatever city the next morning.

But as luck would have it's way... She hit it. Unfazed, the croup scraped off the remaining bets, mine included, and went over to his house five-dollar chips. Pausing, he turned to her and asked "Want that colored-up, ma'am?" "Yes, please." was the answer. The croupier sensed she wasn't going to play out $175. in red, so he paid her one black ($100.) and 3 green ($25.per chip).

Our brunette heroine wasn't done just yet. She let the red $5.00 chip ride on number 36 again. And again she hit for $175.00. Generally speaking, to hit a number straight up, the odds are about 38 to 1 against you. To hit a number straight up twice in a row, the odds are over 1,400 to 1. But here she was, collecting another big win off a puny red chip. Not only was she winning big, she was staying cool as a cucumber. No screaming. No whirling around. She just stood there waiting for the croup to complete her payout.

And what did I do? Did I "shadow" her play, and make myself a big wad of money? Nope. Not me. Stubborn 'till the end. She was incredibly lucky, but I chose not to share in the wealth. I played half a dozen inside numbers in the "First 12" and made absolutely zippo for my efforts. Funny how that works. People simply want to play their own game, regardless the outcome. Me included.

In what can only be described as a surreal turn of events, the buxom brunette left her same five-dollar chip on the same lucky number 36 for the third straight time. The croupier and I must have thought the same thing... "Not again, lady. No way." I bet accordingly, several numbers away from number 36, and quietly waited for the spin.

Now, a croupier has seen many lucky things in his job. And hitting a number straight-up is no big deal. But it definitely got his attention when the ball stopped dancing around, and hit number 36 for the third straight time. "Very nice." he said to the brunette, and got a friendly grin in return. He paid off the same way. The brunette placed the chips into her purse again, this time picking up her winning five-dollar chip, too, and left for the cashiers cage.

All or Nothing

Editorial Reviews of All or Nothing

New York Times--". . . a cartographer of autodegradation . . . Like Dostoyevsky, Allen colorfully evokes the gambling milieu — the chained (mis)fortunes of the players, their vanities and grotesqueries, their quasi-philosophical ruminations on chance. Like Burroughs, he is a dispassionate chronicler of the addict’s daily ritual, neither glorifying nor vilifying the matter at hand."

Florida Book Review--". . . Allen examines the flaming abyss compulsive gambling burns in its victims’ guts, self-esteem and bank accounts, the desperate, myopic immediacy it incites, the self-destructive need it feeds on, the families and relationships it destroys. For with gamblers, it really is all or nothing. Usually nothing. Take it from a reviewer who’s been there. Allen is right on the money here."

Foreword Magazine--"Not shame, not assault, not even murder is enough reason to stop. Allen’s second novel, All or Nothing, is funny, relentless, haunting, and highly readable. P’s inner dialogues illuminate the grubby tragedy of addiction, and his actions speak for the train wreck that is gambling."

Library Journal--"Told without preaching or moralizing, the facts of P's life express volumes on the destructive power of gambling. This is strongly recommended and deserves a wide audience; an excellent choice for book discussion groups."—Lisa Rohrbaugh, East Palestine Memorial P.L., OH

LEXIS-NEXIS--"By day, P drives a school bus in Miami. But his vocation? He's a gambler who craves every opportunity to steal a few hours to play the numbers, the lottery, at the Indian casinos. Allen has a narrative voice as compelling as feeding the slots is to P." Betsy Willeford is a Miami-based freelance book reviewer. November 4, 2007

Publisher’s Weekly--"Allen’s dark and insightful novel depicts narrator P’s sobering descent into his gambling addiction . . . The well-written novel takes the reader on a chaotic ride as P chases, finds and loses fast, easy money. Allen (Churchboys and Other Sinners) reveals how addiction annihilates its victims and shows that winning isn’t always so different from losing."

Kirkus Review--"We gamble to gamble. We play to play. We don't play to win." Right there, P, desperado narrator of this crash-'n'-burn novella, sums up the madness. A black man in Miami, P has graduated from youthful nonchalance (a '79 Buick Electra 225) to married-with-a-kid pseudo-stability, driving a school bus in the shadow of the Biltmore. He lives large enough to afford two wide-screen TVs, but the wife wants more. Or so he rationalizes, as he hits the open-all-night Indian casinos, "controlling" his jones with a daily ATM maximum of $1,000. Low enough to rob the family piggy bank for slot-machine fodder, he sinks yet further, praying that his allergic 11-year-old eat forbidden strawberries—which will send him into a coma, from which he'll emerge with the winning formula for Cash 3 (the kid's supposedly psychic when he's sick). All street smarts and inside skinny, the book gives readers a contact high that zooms to full rush when P scores $160,000 on one lucky machine ("God is the God of Ping-ping," he exults, as the coins flood out). The loot's enough to make the small-timer turn pro, as he heads, flush, to Vegas to cash in. But in Sin City, karmic payback awaits. Swanky hookers, underworld "professors" deeply schooled in sure-fire systems to beat the house, manic trips to the CashMyCheck store for funds to fuel the ferocious need—Allen's brilliant at conveying the hothouse atmosphere of hell-bent gaming. Fun time in the Inferno.

World Series of Poker

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At Books and Books

Me And Vicki at Our Reading

Bio

Preston L. Allen is the recipient of a State of Florida Individual Artist Fellowship in Literature and the Sonja H. Stone Prize in Fiction for his short story collection Churchboys and Other Sinners (Carolina Wren Press 2003). His works have appeared in numerous publications including The Seattle Review, The Crab Orchard Review, Asili, Drum Voices, and Gulfstream Magazine; and he has been anthologized in Here We Are: An Anthology of South Florida Writers, Brown Sugar: A Collection of Erotic Black Fiction, Miami Noir, and the forthcoming Las Vegas Noir. His fourth novel, All Or Nothing, chronicles the life of a small-time gambler who finally hits it big. Preston Allen teaches English and Creative Writing in Miami, Florida.

Moi

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The Krypton Kid

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Every Boy Should Have a Man

What they are saying about "Every Boy Should Have a Man"

In "Every Boy Should Have a Man", Preston L. Allen's prose plants a storyteller in your head, and all you have to do is pull up close to the fire, ignore the rustling in the darkness behind you, and listen as he paints the world from the point of view of the 'other'. And what a view it is. This folk-tale/fantasy/myth/cautionary tale opens doors and windows into parts of your conscience you probably forgot were there. This is the bedtime story you read to your grown children (or they read to you). What's it about? At once as familiar as that stuffed bear you slept with, and as strange as another planet, this tale cannot/should not be summarized. It must be read. I started it one evening, reading until sleep took over, then finished it the next day, and was left with a growing warmth in my chest - a mixture of contentedness and sadness, reading the Apocrypha that follows the main story for bits and pieces to keep it going. You must read this book. I know I'll return to it again (and again). I know I will be pushing it into the hands of my reading friends. Read this book.(Sergio, from Amazon)

Do Gamblers Whore Around Much? (See December 29, 2007 Blog)

Gamblers Anonymous

Did you just say . . . contact Preston at PrestonTHEWRITERallen@gmail.com?

I"m No Gambling Counselor

I'm just a novelist. But I'd love to hear from you. Go ahead. Email me. Let's talk about gambling, big wins, even bigger losses, books, agents, editors, book tours, book deals, film deals. The St. Louis Rams. Chess. Steroidal baseball players. I'm older now. I know a lot about everything, and what I don't know about I can find out from my sage-like friends. By the way, if I were still a gambler, I would have made a serious mint with the lucky numbers that I post on this page--they keep hitting--the most recent hit is 979, which came in on December 15. Dang!

And don't be afraid to buy my book, ALL OR NOTHING (Akashic books, $14.95). It's a great book, my break through novel they are calling it. You will love it--so say the Kirkus Review, Publishers Weekly, Library Journal, Lexis-Nexis, and the rest of 'em. It is my gift to the world. I wanted you to have a fun read, but with a serious message--with the emphasis on FUN. You will love P--he's a sick, degenerate gambler, but he always leaves you with a smile.

Florida Lottery Results

George W. Bush (December 12, 2007 Blog)

Yes, it does.

1-888-Admit It

Call 1-888-Admit it if you or someone you know has a gambling addiction.

Problem gambling is characterized by many difficulties in limiting money and/or time spent on gambling, which leads to adverse consequences for the gambler, others, or for the community.

Procrastination Is the Thief of Time

The Great Oscar Peterson R.I.P.

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Shout Outs!

George W. Bush! Thanks for being honest about your addiction.

Michael Vick! Hang in there, brother. Killing dogs is not a humane thing to do—prison is perhaps too harsh a way to learn that lesson. But hang in there, learn your lesson, come out strong and hungry—you’ll be on top again soon.

Alex Trebek! Hang in there, Alex! We luv ya. The answer is: these two will keep you alive even when your body fails. The question is: What are Faith and Courage?

David Beckham! All right now, baby daddy. You go, boy. You’re breeding like a rabbit. But that’s okay, go ahead and bring another little Pele or Johan Cruyff into the world. What am I saying . . . bring another little David Beckham into the world.

Nicole Richie! You're going to be a mom. Cut the crap, now. Make us proud. We luv ya.

Tom Brady! You’ve got some balls on you, kid. In my heart, I thought the Steelers D would eat you alive, but you hung in there, and before I knew it, the Steel Curtain was looking at a 21-point butt wooping.

New England Patriots! I still have not forgiven you guys for stealing that Super Bowl from my beloved Rams—but you are a team of destiny. Go get your16-and-Oh, boys! Record books are made to be re-written.

Ike Turner! You still groove, brother. You and Tina were the Bomb! Rest in Peace, music man.

Oscar Peterson! A musical giant. He was a friend of my late piano teacher, jazz piano man Samuel Adolphus (AKA Lord Doc), who said of Oscar Peterson: "He had the fastest fingers in music. He was an improvisational genius without peer. He never played a song the same way twice." Rest in Peace, music man.

Ike turner, In Pace Requiescat (Rest in Peace)

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Sexy

Just Before the Christmas Party, December 2007

Preston L. Allen called into the boss's office to discuss retirement options after his novel sells its millionth copy.

reading

A Reading of All or Nothing

emails

The oBLOGation

According to Author's Den: "He cut his teeth on the classics of the golden age of science fiction, the lurid bestselling thrillers of the sixties and seventies, and the Holy Bible (King James Version). He grows up to pen fiction that rages with truth and insight--a master of erotica, thrillers, romance, noir, Preston L. Allen is America's writer. So let it be written, so let it be read."

Reviews of All or Nothing

Maggie Estep, Flamethrower--"By turns harrowing, illuminating, and endearing, Preston Allen's All or Nothing is more than a gut punch, it's a damn good book."

Gonzalo Barr, The Last Flight of Jose Luis Balboa--"All or Nothing is a breathless tour through the mind of P, a gambling junkie who divines lucky numbers everywhere, even in the mumblings of his severely asthmatic son as he comes out of anaphylactic shock. Winning the bet is the only thing. And money has little value except as a means to place the next one. Preston Allen's writing is as tight as a high wire. Out of the hyperkitsch world of gamblers and the casinos they inhabit, Allen creates a novel that is frightening and sad and thrilling."

John Dufresne, author of Johnny Too Bad--"Allen has done for gambling what William S. Burroughs did for narcotic addiction. He's gotten into the heart of the darkness and shown us what it feels like to be trapped, to be haunted, to live without choice. Allen is relentless and unsparing in his depiction of the life of a gambling addict, from the magical thinking to the visceral thrill of risking it all. And now the world will know what we in Miami have known for a long time: Preston L. Allen is so good a writer it's scary."

World Poker Tour

Soon to Be Released

I Have a Good Feeling About This Book--I'm Going to Buy It As Soon As It Comes Out

Hats and Eye Glasses: Book Review

Advance Copy review:

Well, I was right when I said that I would love this book. I read it last night and I highly recommend it.

Martha Frankel writes with warmth, wit, and intelligence about the double life we live as addicted gamblers. Nobody knows how deep we are into it, how much money we have lost, how much money we continue to lose, or the lengths we will go to continue getting our gambling “fix”—not even those who are closest to us. On the one hand, we are the successful interviewer of big-name celebrities, the happy wife of the perfect husband, the good friend, the dutiful daughter to the ailing mother. Life couldn’t be any better, or so it seems. On the other hand, we are maxing out our credit cards, blowing thousands of dollars to chase the enormous sums of money we have already lost because of our addiction to online poker.

Set in gambling dens in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, the Bahamas, South Florida, and various parts of California, Hats and Eyeglasses traces the path of Martha Frankel’s addiction from its beginnings at the friendly Wednesday night poker games, to the high-stakes tables at the Vegas casinos, to her devil-may-care online risk taking.

This may sound like familiar territory, but don’t be fooled. This one will be hard to put down. What sets Hats and Eyeglasses apart from others in this genre and makes it so addictively readable is that Frankel peoples it beautifully with memorable characters with genuine feelings for each other, so much so that you share the narrator’s apprehension when she contemplates revealing her dark secret life to her friends and kin, whom you have grown to love. You will not be disappointed by this book.

It is one of the few books on the subject that had me cheering throughout, made me weepy in places, and left me smiling at the end.

Hats and Eyeglasses

The Rams

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The Rams

The Greatest Show on Turf. Laugh at them now, but nobody was laughing back in '99 when they paid off at 150 to 1 and won the Superbowl.

Then they would have won in 2001 when the Patriots beat them. Maybe that game should be investigated. I really think it should be. If you recall how good the Rams were that year, there is no way the Patriots beat them without . . . cheating. I lived in Boston as a kid, and I was very fond of the Pats--they were my second favorite team way back when. They still are--I just wish the Rams had won that second Superbowl before the downhill slide kicked in.

My Favorite Help Site: The Signs, Symptoms, and Treatment of Gambling Addiction

Gamblers Anonymous

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The Casino

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Isn't she lovely?

The Nicholas Brothers/Best Hoofers Ever

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Go Gators!

Gator Alumni

Four Out of Four Roses

The best fiction book I have read in years!

Mr. Allen’s “All or Nothing” is the story of P and his gambling addiction. “All or Nothing” is an extremely powerful and simply told story. If I hadn’t needed sleep I would have read this in one sitting.

The character P, we’re never told anyone’s full name, is an honest man. Honest, in that he knows he’s a gambler. He knows he is addicted to gambling. He knows he lies to those around him. He doesn’t apologize for who and what he is. P allows us to see into the mind of a gambler and that the meaning of money has many interpretations.

I agreed to read “All or Nothing” because I thought it would be a basic story about a gambler. A straightforward fiction book.

I was unprepared for the emotional intensity of Mr. Allen’s writing.

I was unprepared for the stillness and soft bluntness of Mr. Allen’s writing.