Alice Coyle: Black Friday shopping? It never dawned on me

Tuesday

Nov 22, 2011 at 12:01 AMNov 22, 2011 at 9:21 PM

Black Friday. There’s nothing about those two words that make me the slightest bit inclined to rush out to the mall in the middle of the night to start my holiday shopping. And yet I know that there are thousands who will set their alarm clocks and get to bed early after stuffing themselves with stuffing in order to be one of the first in line for all those “doorbuster” savings. It sounds painful in every sense of the word.

Alice Coyle

Black Friday.

There’s nothing about those two words that make me the slightest bit inclined to rush out to the mall in the middle of the night to start my holiday shopping.

And yet I know that there are thousands who will set their alarm clocks and get to bed early after stuffing themselves with stuffing in order to be one of the first in line for all those “doorbuster” savings. It sounds painful in every sense of the word.

Others won’t go to bed at all now that they know Kohl’s and Macy’s plan to open at 12 midnight; with box stores like Best Buy and Target hot on their heels with 1 a.m. openings.

Why some retailer hasn’t come up with a “sleep-over-in-our-mattress department” option for shoppers, I don’t know, but that would be the only way I’d make it to the mall at such an insane hour.

The only thing I plan to be doing in the wee hours of Black Friday morning is sleeping off that extra glass of pinot noir I indulged in to wash down my second slice of pumpkin pie Thursday night.

Really, what’s the rush?

Even if you’re one of those folks who have to kick off the holiday shopping season before the tryptophan has worn off, why is there a need to be at Sears before the sun rises?

I know some department stores offer special coupons during the early morning hours as an extra incentive to get shoppers stirred up into a spending frenzy. But there’s no way saving 10 bucks is getting me out of bed before the rooster crows. Long lines at registers and hoards of hardcore shoppers wipe out any savings incentive retailers are offering — I’ll gladly sleep in and pay more in store, or better yet online in my “jammies.”

Of course it’s true that when I make it to the mall at 11 a.m., I’ll have to park two towns away and hoof it about 16 miles to the stores, but I’ll be well rested for my Black Friday jaunt and burn off that second slice of pie.

For those of you in training like the lady in the Target commercial, poring over department store circulars and clipping coupons before the start of the holiday shopping marathon, keep this in mind: Thanksgiving is Nov. 24 this year, so even after the sun has set on a Black Friday that began long before it rose, you’ll have 30 shopping days left until Christmas. Between now and then, Macy’s will have offered that same $10 coupon and slashed the prices on cashmere sweaters 25 percent four more times.

See you at the mall, say noon-ish?

Alice Coyle is the managing editor of Gatehouse Media New England’s Raynham, Mass., office. She can be reached at acoyle@wickedlocal.com.

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