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Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Flat Mommy, Boredom & Hussy Shoes

I know I have been neglecting my writing. I have been in mommy mode for the last couple of weeks, dealing with end of school activities along with preparing for a new volunteer position at Noelle's school. Also, I have not really been inspired. I am soooo bored these days. For the last several days I have felt like Flat Stanley. You guys know Flat Stanley? That two dimensional guy, the brain child of author Jeff Brown from the 60s. Well, he has made a huge comeback, and travels in various ways from the homes of elementary school children into the lives of friends and families in order to pose for staged pictures. Flat Stanley participates in family activities or sight sees at local tourist attractions. Sometimes he is even dressed to impress. But he's flat. And boring.

That is how I have been feeling - boring and flat, superimposed on to the pictures and activities in my life. I'm there, but not really. I show up at the kiddie picnics and school meetings, with all the right props, happily saying all the right things but steadily yawning in my brain and fantasizing about my head hitting the pillow. Well, not my pillow, but some hotel pillow in Miami or Vegas.

In my daydream I wake up to dinner in bed in a fabulous windowed suite with a skyline view. Afterwards I step into my high heeled hussy shoes and sparkly party clothes. While dancing at the hottest nightclub I throw my hair back and mesmerize all with my commercial ready smile and glowing skin. Johnny Depp and that beautiful Terrance Howard stroll by casting their eyes longingly on me while my husband is fetching me a champagne. I am strangely tall - a graceful, lean 5'5'' and my legs are really shiny. There is nothing flat or boring about me while I am flitting around the nightlife in Miami slash Vegas -Myeggas. I am hip! I am as sparkly as my clothes. I am IT!

I'm laughing just writing this. Even if I had the chance to make that a reality, I probably wouldn't. When my husband and I get the time and the money to go away, it is usually a hotel in downtown or Georgetown, DC that has a soft bed , a flat screen TV and great room service. I have never - ever desired to go to Miami or Vegas in my life. The last place I think of going to have a good time is a nightclub wearing high-heeled shoes. I reserve heels for affairs where at least 80% of the activities involve sitting. In truth, Jon and I usually end up at the movies and a place that either makes good hot wings or cheesecake. What is true is that my husband does make me a drink now and then (I hate champagne) and last week he brought me Tacos in bed for dinner while I was trying to write/play solitaire. As far as Johnny Deep and that beautiful Terrance Howard, the truth is that I do occasionally have "sexy dreams" but they are always with my husband. That cracks me up, but its the truth!

You know what, I am not so bored anymore. I am going to the mall and by myself a new pair of hussy shoes.