Go figure, Courtney Love hates somebody and is throwing them under the bus for being more successful than her. From ABC News:

“Funny thing, you know, I would’ve never really bet on Gwen,” she said. “Not back in the day.” Love attributed Stefani’s success — her “f**king empire” of a clothing line, L.A.M.B. — to her husband Gavin Rossdale, whom Love said she dated before he got together with Stefani.

“His band never did that well but he is very, very smart,” she said. “He runs the Gwen show, that’s him. He runs the clothing line, he f**king built that up, he has nothing else to do.”

She smiled, shuffling through her purse for a lighter, remembering her relationship with Rossdale. “He was so good looking, but I kind of envisioned that me and Gavin Rossdale would end up on the French Riviera, like, taking tennis lessons and f**king our respective polo teachers.”

Can it be a testament to how good of a person I must be to take Gwen Stefani’s side on this one? Because most of you guys know my feelings about Gwen Stefani, and it’s got to be that I just dislike Courtney Love that much that I’d be willing to support a lady who I think is generally full of shit in most cases.

That being said … shut the f-ck up, Courtney Love. No one cares what you have to say anymore.

As we all know, Courtney Love is way embarrassing. She’s embarrassing to herself, and she’s especially embarrassing to her poor daughter, Frances Bean. For instance, remember that time earlier this year that Courtney accused Dave Grohl of trying to seduce Frances Bean on Twitter, and the poor girl just suggested that she be banned from the internet?

Well, even with all those hard, awkward times, it looks like Frances and Courtney can still reach into their hearts to share the holiday cheer. Here’s something that Courtney tweeted yesterday:

It’s hard to believe, but there’s actually a piece here on Evil Beet that’s not completely bashing Courtney Love for Twitter rants, pathetic wagon dismounts, or twenty-year-old conspiracy theories as to how or why she killed her late husband, Kurt Cobain. I’m telling you right now, such a thing exists (hint: you’re reading it right this very moment). Courtney Love created a fashion line, and it’s not terrible.

It includes pieces like this, which is actually … God, I can’t believe I’m even saying this … kind of nice:

Right? I mean, it’s not like everyday workwear or anything like that, but then again, high fashion really isn’t supposed to be. It’s supposed to be “art” more than anything, and while I think Courtney Love is generally a ranting, raving bag of batshit craziness, I have to say: the girl can create pretty things.

Let me just answer that question for you real quick: f-ck no, you do not want to work for Courtney Love. And if for some strange reason you do want to work for Courtney Love, then please just take a moment to reevaluate your entire life. And after that, never work for Courtney Love.

Listen, we all know that she’s crazy. It’s not a secret, it’s not a surprise. Courtney is wacked, and that extends to all areas of her life. If you don’t believe that, then check this out: she’s getting sued by her former assistant, Jessica LaBrie. But why? Many reasons!

- Courtney wanted her to hire a computer hacker.

- Courtney also wanted her to forge some legal documents.

- Jessica was hired as an assistant and also a “forensic research aide,” which sounds totally legit. She was supposed to be paid $30 an hour, and Courtney made her work 60-hour weeks with no overtime. Bitch.

- Courtney promised to pay Jessica’s college tuition, but she never did *frowny face*.

- Another empty promise: Courtney told her that she’d get her a job on the set of Nirvana biopic.

Poor Jessica. She worked for Courtney for 13 months before she quit, and now she’s officially suing her for “alleged wrongful termination, failure to pay wages and overtime, negligent misrepresentation, breach of contract and intentional infliction of emotional distress.” The wrongful termination part seems weird, because she definitely quit. Maybe you can sue someone for wrongful termination if you don’t get paid? I don’t know. All I do know, really, is that I’m impressed by and suspicious of this Jessica character. Good for her for making it a whole year as Courtney’s assistant, but how did she expect it to turn out?

I’ll answer that last question for you too: she probably expected it to turn out great for her, because she’s releasing a tell-all about Courtney that’s charmingly titled Get Me A Xanax. Whatever works, I guess.

I know so many of you have looked at Courtney Love and thought “man, that’s an enviable woman!” And this morning, I’m here to tell you that it’s entirely possible, that you, too, can have all the majesty of Courtney Love. Just start by following the Courtney Love Diet, which she described, in exquisite detail, to Grub Street. It involves lots of chicken potpie, potato salad, unspecified forms of sugar for an hour every single morning, and heaping amounts of delusion.

Here’s Courtney describing a typical week of eating:

Friday, April 27
This is all you need to know about me and food …

Every day I have my house manager, Hershey — who I stole from the Mercer Hotel with André Balazs’s blessing — wake me up with a hot washcloth for my face, a leg rub, and a plate of toast soldiers.

Then someone always gets chicken potpie and potato salad from D.D., you know, Dean & Deluca. If I can’t afford D.D., I just don’t eat.

One thing from living next to Paris Hilton in L.A. … she always had a fresh cake in her house. So I make sure someone gets a full, fresh new one every day, like marzipan. My house manager tries to put it in the fridge, but I don’t like refrigeration. I know, so Portlandia of me. But I’m sorry, I’m from Portland!

That’s what I eat. Every day. And then I need sugar from 4 a.m. to 5 a.m.

The documents show that Love agreed to step down as Acting Manager of End of Music LLC—the business entity responsible for generating cash from Cobain’s publicity rights—once she’d received a $2.75 million loan from Frances’ trust fund in 2010. The massive loan was transferred from Frances’ fund to EOM in Los Angeles, and then into an account held by Courtney’s then-lawyers, Pryor Cashman, in New York. Until Courtney pays it back, she won’t receive a dime from Kurt’s name, likeness or appearance from the deals formed by Frances and her advisers since December 2010.

Frances also has the final say-so in business agreements negotiated by the attorney and now acting manager of EOM David Byrnes, of Ziffren Brittenham in LA. Love remains a company member, but without the power to make decisions on anything bearing the likeness of Cobain, who committed suicide on April 5, 1994.

So basically, Courtney Love is flat broke, taking loans from her nineteen-year-old daughter, hooked on drugs, and she has no friends.

And this is news? Well, yes. The part about losing the rights to market Kurt Cobain in any way, shape, and form—that’s new. It’s not surprising, but it’s new, and it’s definitely one step out of many to come in the gradual disintegration of the drug mummy we’ve all come to know as Courtney Love.

Several times a year, Courtney Love logs onto her Twitter account, says some really weird shit, and just generally gives everyone more reasons to believe that she’s out of her mind. The latest example of this happened last week, when Courtney went on that big rant about how Dave Grohl is trying to get all up on her daughter, Frances Bean, because he’s “sexually obsessed” with Kurt. She’s just been really hurt over what the Muppets did to one of her deceased husband’s band’s songs, so she’s not thinking clearly. I know that and you know that, and Frances Bean knows that, but she still felt the need to issue that “please, Twitter, make my mom shut up” statement:

“While I’m generally silent on the affairs of my biological mother, her recent tirade has taken a gross turn. I have never been approached by Dave Grohl in more than a platonic way. I’m in a monogamous relationship and very happy. Twitter should ban my mother.”

Well, it appears that Frances’ words have finally made Courtney reconsider her craziness, because she got on Twitter again over the weekend to apologize:

Well, that’s … that’s something. But is it just me, or does the “Mommy loves you” bit just feel weird and creepy? I think when your grown child starts referring to you as her “biological mother” and hasn’t spoken to you in a long while, then a public statement of “Mommy loves you” isn’t quite going to cut it.