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Jeez mates, thanks a lot for turning up...

GREATER love hath no nation than this. First they give us Kylie Minogue, and now Australia makes the supreme sacrifice by allowing an England team to defeat them in a cup final.

Jeez, fellas, we’re all choked, you really shouldn’t have.

We can first permit ourselves a moment of mindless triumph, so join me now in yelling: “Yeeeehah! Yeeeeeesss!” Punch the air. Do that thing that Tim Henman does with his fist.

After that, though, reconciliation. It’s time for England and Australia to pat each other on the shoulder, perhaps to swap shirts, and then — remembering all the insults of the past few weeks — to forgive and forget. Not, in my opinion, that there is much to forgive.

There is a view that Australians have gone over the top with their Pom-bashing. But if you are an Australian, let me offer a firm, manly handshake and my thanks. It wouldn’t