Barnett: Don’t rain on Pride Weekend ‘parade’

I’m writing in response to online comments about the Friday Banner-Herald story headlined “Pride event a time to be seen.”

First off, there was never a parade scheduled for the Athens Pride Weekend. Somehow, many of those who commented on the Athens Banner-Herald website confused and conﬂated Pride Weekend with “parade.”

But that’s an aside. I wish I could say I was entirely surprised to ﬁnd dozens of negative comments in response to a recent article about the inaugural Athens Pride Weekend festivities. But I’ve lived here my entire life, and I’ve spent the last four years as an “out” gay man who’s been actively involved as a student, a worker and a volunteer.

My studies at the University of Georgia have surrounded rhetorics of social movements. I’m an actively engaged community member in a number of socially signiﬁcant organizations — some focused on LGBTQ issues, but not all.

Most of my friends, queer or otherwise, do the same on a daily basis. We are teachers, we are servers, we are attorneys, we are hair stylists, we are public service advocates, we are writers, we are Athens — just as much as anyone else living in this town. And about once a year, we like to gather and celebrate in ways that heterosexual Athenians experience on a regular basis with little or no consequence.

You see, there are rare occasions when queer people ﬁnd themselves in the same place at the same time. Even rarer are occasions when queer people living outside liberal city centers are able to ﬁnd the comfort of sharing time with people they can identify with — not just gays and lesbians, or bisexual and transgendered people, but straight allies who have realized that despite gender or sexual identity, we are all just people trying to live happy, fulﬁlling lives.

Being together empowers us to live lives of purpose and to ﬁnd the strength it sometimes takes to live as those “othered” in the world. Despite support for the LGBTQ community in today’s world, there are still struggles, and creating moments of safe, loving environments is central to increasing that support and decreasing the all-too-real effects of homophobia.

Several individuals who commented on Friday’s story noted that there are no celebrations for other populations or for “straight” individuals here.

On the contrary, I suspect that such occasions are not uncommon for straight citizens of this town. My many treks downtown and around town provide me with many examples of such affairs: football games, any night at any bar in this town, gatherings at local parks, services at many local religious institutions, walks through a neighborhood, conversations around the water cooler — and the list goes on.

How many straight readers have to wonder whether they’ll be criticized, ridiculed, mocked or beaten because of their gender or sexual identity in these instances? Likely, few of them.

While commenters have argued that there are no Caucasian or heterosexual pride events, I’d ask them why they need a special occasion to gather. And if they come up with a good answer to that question, then why don’t they plan one? I think the reason is transparent.

Navigating a heteronormative world – one that is dominated by heterosexual individuals – isn’t always easy for us, you see. There aren’t many assumptions we can make, like whether we’ll be safe walking with our partners, whether business owners are supportive of queer rights — and, yes, we care; we can always spend our money somewhere else — whether we will be made to feel uncomfortable at work or in our leisure activities, and whether we will keep our jobs if we come out to our bosses.

Also, there are many assumptions about us that we have to work hard to break down, like the ones shared on the Athens Banner-Herald website: that we’re all child molesters, that we are out to “ﬂaunt” our sexuality, and that we’re a diseased people.

So it’s quite comforting to know that for at least four days this year, there are places and events and businesses where we can be in open support of each other and rally to be seen as equal citizens — and even more comforting, to know there are people who we can share those brief moments with.

I hope the picture I’ve painted isn’t too doom-and-gloom. I’m normally quite happy to be gay in Athens, and I appreciate the commenters who offered messages of support.

I just think it needs to be articulated again that while we’re all much the same, we often live in very different worlds. That’s perfectly ﬁne, but we ought to be able to respect, appreciate and empathize with others who are different.

Although I am saddened by many of the comments posted in response to the article, you’ll still ﬁnd me out and about in Athens. None of this bigotry will get me down, so please don’t rain on my “parade.”

• Joshua Trey Barnett is a student of communication studies at the University of Georgia. He is the co-chair of the Boybutante AIDS Foundation Inc., and sits on the Athens Pride Committee.