I don't actually know what's in my bag. So I just dumped the contents on my desk to find out. Here goes. Truth:

SunglassesSupplies (you know what I mean)Xopenex inhalerBurt's Bees lip balmCell phoneMiniature Swiss Army knife, connected by a short lanyard to a tiny LED flashlightValentine's day "rose" purchased from a student group to help buy hats and mittens for children in needTumsPlastic gadget to connect chopsticks for use by a little kid (not the chopsticks, though)One stray dimeWalletFive band-aidsOne-dose packet of Tylenol SinusOne-dose packet of Advil

Oddly enough, there are no reading glasses in there this morning, no pencil or pen, no stray receipts.

I'd have said the pharmaceuticals had been in there for months, forgotten, except that the Tylenol expired last October, so maybe it's been years. The chopstick gadget has also been unused for a very long time.