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Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Loggerheads Adoption Movie Review

Three seemingly separate stories are woven together in Tim
Kirkman’s 2005 film, Loggerheads. Mark is a young, homeless wanderer who is
devoted to saving the Loggerhead turtles on Kure Beach. He enters a
relationship with George, a motel owner, and is able to share about his
history. Elsewhere an airport rental car agent named Grace is mourning the loss
of her son to adoption, which occurred approximately 20 years ago. In the
central town of Eden, a minister and his wife are worried when it appears that
their new neighbors are a gay couple.

*Huge Spoiler Alert*

Mark is the son that Grace gave up to adoption, and he was
adopted by the ministerial couple. He became estranged from them when they did
not embrace his homosexuality. Mark is dying of AIDS. His adoptive father
refuses to see him, and his adoptive mother, although ultimately willing to
meet him, waits too long. However, Mark’s birthmother and adoptive mother do
develop a relationship with each other after Mark’s death, and it seems that
Mark’s birthmother also gets to know George. Through these relationships, they
are able to find some healing.

*End Spoiler*

How Does This Connect
to Adoption and Foster Care?

Loggerheads is a relatively rare film in that it shares the
points of view of members of three sides of an adoption – adoptee, birth
family, and adoptive family.

Strong Points

Loggerheads shows that birthparents do not forget their
children; Grace shared that she is always wondering who and where her son is;
she wonders if a similar-aged stranger might be her son. The film shows the
grief she still has at the loss – and the fact that the grief is exacerbated by
a lack of communication between Grace and her mother. It shows the anger and
hurt that Grace still feels about the powerlessness she felt at the time; Grace
asserts that the adoption was not her own choice. It shows the frustration that
is caused when governmental officials refuse to release Mark’s records to
Grace. It also shows some healing that occurs when Grace and her mother finally
clear the air.

The film suggests that openness can be established and
benefitted from, even after years of an adoption being closed. When Mark’s adoptive
mother and birthmother walk together, they acknowledge the fear they felt, and
each affirmed the other’s role in Mark’s life.

Challenges

Loggerheads captures the pain felt by – and perhaps caused
by – people touched by adoption, but in doing so, it sometimes feels to lean
heavily against the adoptive parents and the church. In its portrayal of pain
being felt and caused, it may cause pain to some viewers whose stories too
closely mirror the story in the film. If there is a villain in the film, it is
Mark’s adoptive father. The minister is unfailingly judgmental, two-faced, and
unforgiving. This may be an accurate depiction of how ministers are perceived by
some, but the character does seem to fulfill several unkind stereotypes. Mark
acknowledges that he has had to trade sex for lodging and gifts. For some
viewers who have been abused, this might come close to painfully mirroring
their own experiences. Perhaps because he is on bad terms with his adoptive
parents, Mark describes them as “not my real parents.” He acknowledges his longstanding
fear that he would be sent back to his orphanage. The governmental official who
denies Grace access to Mark’s adoption records tells her that the
confidentiality policy is intended to protect the adoptive family from Grace.
This hurts Grace, and I could imagine it being painful for some viewers, too.
The adoption searching agent who helps Grace find Mark does so because she
believes that “people have a right to know who they are and where they came
from,” but also charges Grace a very high fee to help her. Mark’s boyfriend
George has also felt pain; he believes that his previous boyfriend was
murdered. Mark and Grace have each attempted to find each other, but were
unable to do so because of laws.

I found a conversation between Grace and her mother
especially poignant. They are discussing Grace’s desire to find Mark. Her
mother worries, “I don’t understand why you want to do this.” Grace replies
that it’s “not a want; it’s a need. I want to know he’s OK.” Her mother asks, “What
if he doesn’t need this.” Grace breaks down, “Mom, you’re ashamed of me.” Her
mother asks, “Will searching solve anything?” Grace replies, “This might stop
me from attempting suicide again.” Loggerheads certainly portrays some
strongly-felt emotions. Later on, Grace’s mother returns to Grace and says, “I’m
not ashamed of you. I’ve never been ashamed of you. You’re my daughter, and I
love you, and of course I think about him; he’s my grandson.” Grace’s mother
asks, “What are you going to say when he asks why you gave him away?” Grace
answers simply, “The truth.”

Weak Points

One camera shot lingers on the penis of a statue.

Mark’s father refuses to see him. When he learns from his
wife that Mark is dying of AIDS, he refuses to see Mark, and his only response
is, “God punishes. Mark made his choice.” Mark remembers his father as a man
who was “mad, yelling, and said I’d burn in hell.”

Recommendations

Loggerheads deals with some of the same issues as Philomena.
In both films, a birthmother seeks her long-ago-adopted son, and finds him too
late. Either film could help adoptive and prospective adoptive parents start to
see adoption through the eyes of a birthparent, and could hopefully be helpful
in developing empathy. Birthfamily members might find this film painful or
healing; Grace does heal, but her pain is profound. The film does portray a “worst
case” scenario for an adoptive family, which might be worrying to people who do
not know how their child is doing, after adoption. That anxiety, coupled with
the pain felt by many characters in this film, lead me to see this film as a
strong example of why openness is needed in adoption. The weight and sadness of
the film make it best suited to an adult audience, and even adult viewers
should be aware that the film might have some trigger potential.

Questions for
Discussion

What fears might an adoptive parent have about her son’s birth
parents?

What fears might a birthmother or birthfather have about their
child’s adoptive parents?

The film’s portrayals of the government, the church, the
adoptive father, and Grace’s mother all seem to be largely negative. Are these
realistic, or are they more caricatures?

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