Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The real 'Queens' of Bollywood..

It is official. After 'Dostana', nobody will be talking about the Kings and Badshahs of Bollywood. It is the time of the Queens. Ranis to rule from this friday. No, Not Kareena, Ash or Priyanka, sillies. I'm talking about Abhishek Bachchan and John Abraham. Gay is 'in' and how!! I watched the movie at a private screening, with several really young children (all boys) who weren't supposed to be there. Anxious guests were reassured by my off - hand statement : "Relax.... they won't get it," I stated airily. But guess what? They did! How could they not when every second person in the movie is gay ( real or fake), and every joke is a gay joke? Why there is an entire song devoted to being gay.Every conceivable gay stereotype is featured in the movie, including a limp- wristed, foppish Boman Irani in really bizarre clothes. 'Dostana' is a mish mash of several Hollywood films, including 'Three is Company,' but that is not its only sin. Watch it and discover your own list and favourite moments. I shall refrain from commenting further since it is unethical to reveal more before the film's commercial release. Is John's butt all that it is cracked up to be? To find out, get to the movie theatre on time.... the butt is right up there as an amuse bouche.... not even an appetiser. Blink and you miss the bulge. Which one?? Awww... come on.... go figure. Jo dikhta hai, woh bikta hai, said Rakhi Sawant. John's butt has crores riding on it.... let's see if the butt delivers impressive returns at the box office.Just finished nibbling on a delicately flavoured, rose petal sandesh from Sweet Bengal. I use it like a creamy cheese spread over a kadak, jeera seasoned khakra, while enjoying my evening cup of Darjeeling leaf tea. Blissssss!

47 comments:

I have to have to have to see this movie! Ever since i've seen the first teaser-trailer, Dostana has aroused a lot of interest. Is India finally ready for an out-and-out gay themed comedy? I can't wait to find out!! Plus, John looks fantabulicious!!

Hmmm,Private screening eh? So this is how the other half lives:-)You've got me all excited now. Cannot wait to watch the movie myself but, I do wish that you had "revealed" a bit more here than what you have!! Obviously the likes of John do not agree with you about it being unethical;-)By the way, I also notice no mention of the two bikini babes...iss ka matlab bilkool thanda, right?

I am worried about this film that you describe. And what worries me is the line in your review that says, "Every conceivable gay stereotype is featured in the movie, including a limp-wristed, foppish Boman Irani in really bizarre clothes."

Allow me to think aloud. I think there is a significant difference between "comedy" and "comic mockery"; and while the art-of-cinema universally has brilliantly portrayed the former; the commerce-of-movies has made bucks on the latter. I wonder then where will Dostana feature? Is it a comedy-provoking-thought or is it a comedy-lacking-in-thought?

Then there is also the obvious danger of too much spotlight burning the issue (in this case, that of homosexuality) entirely. And this reminds me of a brilliant campaign in the UK, the lines of which read "People are gay. Get over it". Straight, simple and to the point.

Finally, its the stereotype as a social construct that disturbs me to the T. Limp-wristed, lip-biting, colorful clothing, pink cadillac - all such perceived externalities made out to be the descriptives of what it is to be "gay" (sic).

The reality is much more complicated. I would rather wait to watch the film "Milk" instead.

As soon as I realized that Shobhaa De is speaking about Dostana and its infamous male-bonding sagas, I immediately made it a point to scroll down to look for comments made by my friend *Aham* and also, K! lol.

Just came after watching the morning show. Let me write something on that. Meanwhile Why don't u check latest entry in my blog which talks of Aamir, PC and other stuff and tell me what ya feel of my take on current Aamir.

Having sat through Dostana I can now vouch for KJo's not being gay for you cannot have a gay person misrepresenting the gay community so haughtily and thoroughly. A nasty piece of work this film is to the homosexual cause in India, to be honest. There's nothing to this film - it's just open season on gays and gay bashing as captured through the lens of a homophobic film maker. The trouble with his films is they all fall flat on their face when it comes to artistic value. Take away the signature leitmotif of Caucasian eye-candy with a good measure or two of his Bacchan arse licking and the exotic locations his movies are filmed in,and what have you?! Disgust, emptiness and a quantum of boorishness.

The movie has lots of gay humor and stereotypes but all done with good taste. None of them are offensive. But I want to say that this movie, which is set in Miami USA, does not represent the gay life in India. But it does create a positive message about being gay, about accepting people as who they are. But I didn't like dialogues like "gay is a lifestyle choice" -- just not true.

Karan Johar is a self-hating homosexual - who refuses to comment on his sexuality in public why?? Because he is himself ashamed of it - and I have reasons to believe that he hates other gay men too - perhaps due to a problem he has acquired from being homosexual.. and this MOCKERY of a film he made - is to get back at the gay community for what they did to him.

If he was proud to be gay then he would firstly have no issues accepting the fact he is gay himself and secondly he would make a movie which truly depicts gay life - rather than all the negative (or positive) Stereotypes on gay people.

I don't think this movie is an eye-opener for Indian audiences - I think this is going to make things even worse for Gays in India - this is not a country where homosexuality is ACCEPTED - so its ok to laugh at homosexuals. In Europe, gays are treated like everyone else - so making a gay comedy does no harm in those countries - but in India gays are not treated like everyone else - making a gay comedy on such a delicate subject will emphasize more negative attitudes and poke fun at gay people in India.

Its the same as making a movie on handicapped / crippled people and poking fun at them... SICK.

So basically you have already taken for granted the fact that Karan Johar indeed IS homosexual.You are sick man! and not Karan Johar. I am not supporting his public body language which is perceived by many to be quite 'gay-oriented' but to call and to assume and to infer that he is gay is something which is highly preposterous.

May be in reality he isn't gay. May be he's just a bit too feministic or something. That doesn't make a person gay man.Stop being so depressed dude. Enjoy life. By the look of it, it seems as though you are one of those gays in India suffering because of your unacceptablity. I don't have any thing against gays. If you think Europe is more tolerant toward gay culture then why not settle there? Why crib about being in India and still having to watch Indian movies and eat Indian food!? Man you are one crazy sample piece.

All in all I can only say that howsoever his behavior may seem like, such as his speaking style for instance but to call him gay just by your own interpretation just doesn't work.

To Double Seven above - this is Anonymous again. What makes you think I don't live in Europe?? And what makes you even think I am Indian?? Did I say that anywhere?? Can't a westerner be on these blogs and interact here or keep up with gay films in the world?? I came accross this movie as a topic of discussion everywhere and am just endorsing what Shobhaa De has also written - i.e. the movie portrays all the gay stereotypes that exist. As for being repressed - I don't need that in my life - this is the reason I do not like most Indians including you for assuming so many things and calling gays "repressed", effeminate and frustrated - alas another image that has been created in your mind by movies like Dostana.

Lastly - I happened to be visiting India and saw Karan Johar's interview last night on 60 minutes or some program like that - where he refuses to comment on his sexuality - which makes it obvious he is gay. If he were straight he would say very easily - I am str8... like John Abraham went on to say on several interviews... so please get a life.. its quite useless even trying to talk sense to some people in this country - they are quite brainwashed and opinionated about everything - and display such utter arrogance.

And now you can write whatever you wish to - don't expect any further responses from me because I love to ignore people like you... merci.

Well no shit there was no need for you to mention that you addressed your message to me, it was highly implied. How dumb of you! Looking at your dumb-factor, my guess is you are from (Great?) Britain, isn't it? (You can not be from India, there are smart people in India) :D

And by looking at your hatred towards Indians, I claim this time that you ARE from (Great?) Britain. British hate Indians more than they hate their ex-girlfriends. :P

Well-What makes you think that I am from India?I don't go about hiding my identity from anyone- go have a look at my Blogspot profile to know where I actually am from!You are probably suffering from 'identity crisis' in your homeland also- that's why you thought of spending and diverting your time to this blog. But let me warn you man- Shobhaa De LOVES INDIA TOO MUCH, SHE LOVES INDIANS TOO MUCH (Refer to her last book Superstar India for further information). So your openly expressing desire of not liking Indians and their mindsets wouldn't work here. This blog is for people who like Shobhaa De's writings. So that means that people must have liked Superstar India (weird exception of you because you haven't read the book yet) and that's probably why many people started following De's blog.

I am not writing this to make you read but instead writing this to make others read and enable them to make their own judgements regarding the mockery I have made off you/ your thinking/ your 'small' mindset.

I think you are probably in love with Karan Johar. Hence, you think that he should forcibly admit that he is gay like you. So that you can have midnight anal pleasures thinking about him. :P

I never said that you are 'repressed'. As a matter of fact I don't even know what that means! I think you need some psychiatrist, not making fun of you man but I think you should deal your depression with him/her.

We Indians are not brainwashed or anything man (I didn't even get what you meant there!).Rather you Europeans are highly influenced, opinionated and brainwashed by American culture; you think of America as being THE ultimate of this world, without having to realize the crisis that both Europe and America are going through currently.

@double seven - another rude 20 yr old Immature, arrogant stupid Indian living in the US who thinks he knows it all...and pulls the race card everytime.. no wonder indians have such a bad reputation all over the world and its getting worse.

I am actually free 24/7 in order for boasting about the greatness of my India"

If it is so great then what are you doing in the US?? Studying there?? Working there?? Why not go back to your country and add to its greatness rather than escaping from it and then talking about how wonderful it it...

You have really nice sense of humor man.Honestly I am very glad to know that.

Well,I am studying over here; as soon as I am done I seriously can not wait to go back to Bombay. Because - home is where the heart is, and my heart still beats in Bombay. :)

I am not "escaping" escaping man.My family is really wealthy. So they thought may be I should go visit America, and have international exposure thereby.

As a matter of fact dude, my entrepreneurship professor (Oh! I forgot you wouldn't know what entrepreneurship really is, because you White folks like to work for someone/ under someone and that you guys don't really possess enough acumen to actually be able to start your own businesses! :P)

Yeah he was also telling me the same thing- to me and to my Chinese friend- I shouldn't be staying here and that I should run back to India asap, otherwise I would miss much of honeymoon that's taking place there between the people of India and its economy; sort of like a gold rush of 1800s!

So you need not worry about me regarding that man- I have enough entrepreneurial acumen to think in that sense.

I don't really give a shit if you are bored or extremely bored man. :PSo you don't have to mention that- you were born bored and a born loser. :P AGAIN!

Ten years from now, India will have more billionaires than any other country in the world, says a poll by American business publication Forbes.

According to the Internet poll being conducted by the magazine, which lists the world’s richest billionaires every year, more than half of respondents believe that India will have the maximum number of billionaires in 2017.

As per the latest Forbes list of world’s billionaires, published last month, India is the fourth largest in the world in terms of billionaires population, while US continues to top the rankings However, according to the online poll on Forbes’ website, where over 11,800 votes were cast at the last count, only 17 per cent of respondents believe that the US would have the most billionaires in 2017.

Latest data

In comparison, the maximum — 53 per cent — believe it would be India at the top in terms of number of billionaires. The second highest number of votes has gone in favour of China at 20 per cent, while the US comes at the third position, according to the latest poll data.

None of the other countries has so far managed to garner a vote of more than 10 per cent. Russia comes at fourth position with three per cent, while Brazil, Canada, Germany, Japan and the United Kingdom have one per cent each. So far, virtually no vote has been cast for France having the maximum billionaires in 2017.

The Americans now account for 42 per cent of total 1,125 billionaires in the world, down from 44 per cent last year. Their dominance seems to be diminishing, Forbes noted, saying that half of world’s 20 richest were from the US two years ago.

OMG Whippy!! The media would do anything for money. I wish I could stop Karan from doing more damage than he already have done! Shobhaa De, can you do something? People listen to you. At a time when homosexuality is debated whether it needs to be decriminalized, we don't want society to be mislead by such money-crazed goons!

Being a responsible writer ,i think you should be shamefull of not avoiding children from viewing an adult film,what kind of a respect do you give to rules and regulation? and you shamelessly say "Relax.... they won't get it,".how far are you correct .you have done something illegal and irresponsible.you cant encourage children to see such kind of films and you publicly confirm that you allowed children to see an adult film,but you should have stopped them .Your Journalist degree or qualification is a worthless achivement,you brought disgust to that profession.this is my honest comment .

relax. its not my blogdost De who has wronged itys You. Get your facts right before you make allegations, so vehemently. Dostana has a U/A certificate. Rightly so. Kids grow up pretty fast these days. And Dostana is no Porn.

Double Seven - you are the most obnoxious example of a nouveau riche Indian I have ever seen on any blogs. You are attacking and abusing and insulting so many people everywhere - its not even funny... grow up and learn some class. You sound uncouth, mannerless and stupid - I bet the Americans hate you just as much... you are the kind of Indians who give India a bad name outside the country.. and I bet you are dark brown skinned with a deep inferiority complex... just get over it... thats all.

---- servant sounding name?? What a pathetic loser - you've been showing off your little money on other posts as well....lol.. and u think you are the only wealthy person on here?? What is it?? new money and new transplant to America?? They call you FOB - Fresh off the boat.. and run miles away from people like you... oh and I hope you learn how to use a deodrant... you are the servant types from some ugly part of ugly India - and no one here likes you... i'm sure. Keep licking Shobhaa de's 60 yr old ass - even she doesn't care about what you think..LOL.

hahaha.I dont know about my dark-skin and inferiority complex man; although what I am sure to know is your plight in social life everywhere in the world.You are in deep shit man. Look before you leap. And if you really don't like Shobhaa De, I must ask her to block you forever, that way it would be good for you and good for the people of this blog, including many of my friends here.

:P

I don't consider myself as rich. As a matter of fact, I am JOBLESS! I am still 20 years old and I have not started working yet. So until I am 23 or something I won't work. I need education first, the thing which your parents couldn't give you. After that you can call me nouveau-riche or refer to me with other such fancy words! :P

i don't know if you'd believe me- I am considered by many including non-Indians as being the most harmless, humble, down-to-earth guy around campus.(that is when I care a shit about whether you'd believe that lol. just fyi that is)I have made some good connections because of that.but when I look at you- your constant attacking against India, Shobhaa De and barack Obama, I feel disgusted- because you know why? - I CARE a lot about those three things.

I can see who needs some class- I can see from the way you write- that way you can call me a psyche who can judge your mind by the way you write (i actually forgot what '-logist' it's specifically called, please help me with that)

There is no point actually fighting over and over through this medium of communication. I'd need to meet you personally to make my arguments and make you realize thereby the dickhead that you are! Oh sorry I forgot you are so anti-social and so afraid of disclosing your identity (I don't even know whether you are male, female, shemale, etc)if the latter would be the case then forget about our meet; I am too scared of such animals!

More about Me-

as soon as you make an assumption about me, you'll be wrong. I defy explanation, and confound definition. I love confrontations, I love healthy arguments and I can absolutely go on and on if I think I am gonna win the argument in the end. I'm many things all wrapped into one, and yet characteristic of none of them. I'm confident enough to accept my mistakes and strong enough to learn from them and move on. As soon as you make up your mind about me, you'll be the least likely to have it right. I live floating in a sea of uncertainty defined only by the limitations of my understanding, everyday is a new adventure, and every challenge is a new drop of water, blending together to form my world. Life is not about the drops, its about what those drops create.

Dont teach me what they say in America man.. and who They are you actually referring to anyway?Those Theys are already in deep shit because of the current economic crisis.

I am guessing that you have had experience of bad odour exhausting out from your boyfriend's armipits, who himself can't afford to buy a deodrant man!

Why do you relate the servant issue with the rich class of India?There are servants in middle class also! :P

unlike you I went to a highly reputable convent school in Mumbai- my guess is you went to a municipality school.. hehehe... so if I go to America is different than if you go to America- people in America will laugh at your behavior just because of your government funded education. You actually referring to people like yourself who will be called FOBs over there. Dont worry I have had some misfortune of meeting people like those and like you in my time here. Fresh Off the Boat- sounds Christopher Columbus to me! :P

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