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Me: He s a wife-
beater waiting to hap-
pen.
She: Oh, stop. He is
not! He would never
raise a finger to me.
Me: He doesn t have
to. He already has you
mortgaging your brain
for the promise of hap-
pily ever after. That s
how it starts. He
absorbs all your time, he can t bear to be away from
you, he makes you feel he alone loves you---until you
don t have a single thought in your head that he
didn t put there. What you call "kind and "attentive
is really a control freak trying to suck the life out of
you.
She: He s protective---is that so wrong? Better than
some of those losers out there with their 10k bling.
Me: Stop making excuses for him. When your
friends tell you that you have changed too much
since meeting a fella, that should send off alarms in
your head. Friends tend to see the warning signs
first. He practically has you on a curfew because he
sulks like a toddler if you stay out late. He is an emo-
tional blackmailer. He makes you feel bad for having
a good a time without him. He doesn t like your
friends. When he isolates you from everyone, that s
when he has won.
She: Wel-l-l-ll, he could be a teeny-bit judgmental
sometimes. And maybe a little hung up on details.
Me: Girl, he was practically arranging the food on
your plate for you at dinner the other night. And
don t pretend you weren t wigged out when he almost
had a stroke because the waiter spilt some water on
the table. What he is doing is as bad as a blow to
the head. Psychological abuse is just physical abuse
with some CXC passes.
She: He was a little stressed that day.
Me: Get out now before he becomes a bad habit
that breaks you. A control freak is just a stab in the
back away from a confirmed monster.
She: You re really beginning to scare me now.
Me: That s a start. Fear can be a powerful antidote
for stupid.
• Tell me your red flag he's-not-the-one stories
at wrenchelsa@hotmail.com
A35
life
Monday, February 2, 2015 www.guardian.co.tt Guardian
MIGHTY PERFORMANCE
She: But he s a nice guy.
Me: So what? Lots of those around. He
could be an axe murderer with bodies
buried in the back yard for all you know.
She: Stop being so cynical.
Me: Stop being so naïve.
She: He s a hottie, too.
Me: So was Ted Bundy.
She: I think he could be The One, Elsa.
Me: There is no such thing as The One!
Where do women get the idea that there
is one sweet love out there waiting to sweep
them off their feet? He s just a cute guy
who knows how to put on a good show.
She: That s so unfair.
Me: So is giving up your life to please
another person. All I hear coming out of
your mouth these days is what he likes and
what he says. He s always correcting you---
you talk too loud, your skirt is too short,
you have too many friends, you like to party
too much, your hair is too wild. And he
dared to criticise the shoes, which is a felony
punishable by kicking to the kerb. Who is
this man? The commandant in your mental
concentration camp?
She: You re exaggerating. He is very kind
and attentive. He is always there...
Me: Yeah, like a rash.
She: Gosh, you really don t like him.
How to spot a control freak
The audience at the Divas International Calypso
Tent had a treat when Mighty Sparrow performed
some of his classic hits at the Little Carib Theatre in
Woodbrook on Thursday night. PHOTO: CLYDE LEWIS.