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Virgin Media censors 'rude' words

You can barely open the papers these days without another aging celebrity decrying the filthy standards of modern telly, and it’s never done while they’re plugging their own programmes. Ever.

Thankfully, Virgin Media is aligning itself as the new Mary Whitehouse, ‘starring out’ any words that might be deemed offensive last weekend.

So this includes the ‘c**k’ in Alfred Hitchcock, The ‘d**k’ in Charles Dickens, the ‘a**l’ in ‘The Golden Age of Canals’, and the ‘a**e’ in Arsenal.

Responding to the howls of ‘censorship gone mad’, a spokesperson for the puritanical content provider: “Over the weekend a temporarily over-zealous profanity checker took offence at certain programme titles.

“The altered titles have been swiftly an*lysed and we're fixing any remaining glitches.”