Keep

The guy on the left is your traditional bad boy hipster. This look is still in style, because rockstars are still iconized for some reason, even though it’s not the 80s anymore. This dude’s all black ensemble, leather boots, and leather jacket, mixed with silver accent pieces is definitely keeping him up-to-date in the whole “I’m in a band” scene.

Good job. Mimic him if you want to get laid.

The guy on the right just got an audition to be on The Bachelorette. But, seriously, women are stoked for this style right now. It’s the whole, “Oh, I can take you home to meet my parents, even though you’re going to ruin my entire life,” look that we love.

Slip on a fitted blazer, throw on some dark denim, style up with some shoes and a killer haircut, and upload a new photo on Bumble.

Trash

I think I honestly just threw up in my mouth a little. This picture is so wannabe hipster that I need to have reconstructive eye surgery from even looking at it. I feel like this dude is just a clown who is trying to be cute.

Get rid of the bowtie, suspenders, ill-fitting pants, and whatever the hell that hat is.

Good God and all things that are mighty, this image needs to be destroyed from all laptops in America. If you have to try this hard, you’re doing it way wrong.

KEEP

Being a hipster doesn’t have an age limit. As long as you look damn good, you can be a 70-year-old dude wearing skinny jeans. I guarantee you that these two old dudes get more women than you on any given day.

Why?

Because they know how the hell to dress and rock a modern look. Achieving this kind of style is really not all that hard. Wear black, it’s slimming. Have a few cool accessories, get you a black denim jacket or shirt, and wear clothes that fit your body type.

Check out Trim, for a similar look. Their new denim collection is an essential when it comes to this stuff.

TRASH

This is an exact replica of someone that I want to punch in the face. His mustache literally pisses me off. I know that a few years ago, pointy mustaches were really cool to grow out, but now they just look straight up douchey. If you have a mustache like this, shave off the points, grow out your beard, and stop trying to be a Vaudeville villain.

The blazer is incredibly flashy and ugly, so let’s just not go down that road. Keep things neutral, especially if you’re incredibly good looking. Drawing attention to yourself with bright colors and weird patterns isn’t really hipstery. It’s just kind of blugh.

KEEP

Hipsters of these days keep it pretty basic. It’s really about the beard and haircut you got going, so look into that, but it’s also about a vintage vibe, as well. Keep the oversized sweaters and crap you bought from the thrift store, just throw out all the stuff that doesn’t look like it belongs on a movie set for a historical drama.

Or just ask your girlfriend or closest lady in your life what you should throw out. That works, too.

TRASH

Look, there’s no denying that this guy is super hot and I’d 10/10 definitely hook up with him. With that being said though, I’m freaked out that his hair is longer than mine. I feel like guys with long hair are higher maintenance than I am and that’s saying a whole hell of a lot.

Ditch the dreads and come back to the shorter side. It really accentuates a man’s features and honestly makes him look a lot more attractive. I always say a great hair cut is like makeup for men. Spend the money on it and thank me later.

Hipsters these days aren’t growing out their hair. They’re bathing in pomade at barber shops across America.

Join them.

KEEP

And this is just for reference what I’m talking about. Like, this is an automatic yes for me. Show this picture to your hairstylist, who more than likely already has this haircut and tell him to chop those Fabio locks away.

You’re not a gigolo. Actually, maybe you are, but still.

So, there you go. A definitive list of the cool things to hang onto and the things you should immediately use as fuel for a dumpster fire.