Letter To a Mother

A mother
enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter on the bed. Fearing the worst, she
reads it with trembling hands:

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm
telling you that I have eloped with my new boyfriend who just turned 35 years old. I
found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercings and tattoos and his big
motorcycle. But it's not only that, Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be
very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me
and that's one of my dreams. xI've learned that marihuana doesn't hurt anyone
and we'll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with
all the cocaine and ecstasy we may want. In the meantime, we'll pray for science to
find the AIDS cure so Ahmed can get better; he deserves it. Since he currently doesn't
have a job, he spends all of his time with me. Don't worry, Mom, I'm 15 years old now and
I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'll visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren.

Your daughter

P.S. Mom, it's not true. I'm at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to show you that
there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk
drawer.