The owner of the Taste of Philly Cheesesteak and Hoagie Shoppe in Crystal River, Florida (it's where the Crystal Ships are manufactured) has been told she has to stop flying six patriotic flags in front of her place because of a local ordinance limiting people to only three flags. Why does Crystal River hate America?

Shoppe owner Linda Downey has two sons in the military — including one who served in Iraq with Popeye the Sailor Man. She tells the muckrakers at "Fox & Friends" that she flew all the flags as a tribute of sorts. When she got a letter in the mail from the city telling her she was expressing her love of country too emphatically, she thought it was a joke. Sadly, it was not.

Advertisement

Crystal River city manager Andy Houston says he and other city officials are not against America or flags or anything—they just want flags to "be done in a respectful manner and not in a way that is overly commercialized." This explanation makes no sense, though; it's not like Downey is flying cheesesteak flags or hoagie flags to advertise her "Goliath sandwiches," which are the size of human babies. If Downey is advertising anything at all, it's the American dream—which is supposed to involve liberty and freedom, including the freedom to fly as many damned flags as you damned well please (especially on your cheesesteak place, or your motorcycle). Downey and the Friends all believe this is "political correctness gone wrong."

If the city of Crystal River wanted to cite Downey for something, why didn't they fine her for painting her place that crazy yellow color? Seriously.