Wednesday, June 06, 2007

i'm like a light bulb..everyone gets a turn

my friend said this to me the other day. is that a good thing? remember sticky notes and smelly markers? well they are getting married next weekend. i will then receive roommate number 67. i told my dad once that i have lived with over 50 women. he replied, "i wish i could say that." kinda creepy.

even though my dad wants to live with myriads of women, he is single. my mom is single too. (well she's techinically married to her 4th husband but those are minor details) wisdom comes with age right? therefore, i have acquired some very useful dating tips and information from my older single parental units and wanted to share with my blog family. please enjoy.

1. when you see an over weight single woman, lovingly refer to her as a "wide load"

2. invite your date over to play a little scrabble, then give them a cup of water as a treat

3. go to free community events and hit on homeless men. marry one of them if you so desire

ok you got me. so maybe the phrase should say "she's like a door knob...everyone gets a turn." (from the mega hit film cheech and chong) that's the irony of it all. i'm really not like a door knob. i'm more like a light bulb which only gets turned by someone very special like a janitor. please forgive the corn-fusion. i've been in nebraska.

but i think we've all learned that smelly markers should definitely hook up with sticky notes.