Many caregivers find it challenging to cope when their older adult has Alzheimer’s and fear of being alone. That fear can make your senior follow you around the house so you’re constantly in their sight. They might get upset if you go to the bathroom or take out the trash. It can also make it very difficult for you to leave the house – they might cry, become angry or mean, or repeatedly ask where you are.

When your senior doesn’t want you out of their sight, this behavior is called shadowing. Experts suggest that Alzheimer’s shadowing happens because the disease has caused them to make you the center of their world. They’re not doing it purposely to be difficult or to cause trouble.

Your older adult follows you closely to reassure themselves that that you’re there. You’re their lifeline and connection to the outside world. You care and provide for them and keep them safe from anything strange or confusing.

When they can’t see or touch you, your senior can get scared and anxious. Even if you’ve never done anything that would make them think you’d abandon them, they may become paranoid that you’ll leave and never come back.

The fear isn’t caused by anything you’ve done. It’s yet another terrible side effect of living with dementia. Incorporate these 5 techniques help you reduce the fear that causes shadowing and find different ways to cope with the behavior:

1. Include other trusted people.

One of the best ways to help your senior feel safe and secure even if you’re not there is to expand their world to include one or two more people. This needs to be done slowly so your older adult can grow to trust and rely on the “new” people and feel comfortable enough to be alone with them while you get some much-needed time away.

These additional people could be other family members, close friends, or professional caregivers. Start by having them come on a regular schedule to help while you’re with your older adult. Then, slowly ease them into doing more for your senior. Over time, your older adult will be ok with them taking over while you’re not around.

2. Involve them in repetitive, soothing activities when you need to step away.

Sometimes you just need time to do chores in the house without someone (literally) breathing down your neck. When this happens, ask your senior to “help” you and give them a soothing, repetitive task to keep them occupied and take their mind off their fear.

For example, if you need to cook dinner, ask them to sit at the kitchen table and sort a pile of forks and spoons, fold hand towels, smooth crumpled tissue paper, or organize the kitchen junk drawer. Any soothing, safe activity that doesn’t cause trouble will do. The goal isn’t to have your older adult accomplish the task correctly, it’s to keep their hands and mind happily occupied.

3. Distract and redirect.

Distracting and redirecting is a good technique to try in situations where you need to leave the house or if your senior has already become highly agitated because you left their sight.

First, find a way to gently validate what they’re saying. Even if it’s something crazy like “You hate me, you can’t wait to get away from me, and you’re abandoning me!” you could respond by calmly saying something like “Oh my, you must be feeling very upset.” This validates their feelings and avoids a bigger fight because you didn’t say that they’re wrong.

Next, find a way to distract them from their worry about you leaving them. Point out a pretty flower in the backyard, offer them a favorite drink or snack, or ask them for their help with a made-up task and walk together to another part of the house. Get them involved in an activity that they enjoy.

You or someone who’s helping out while you’re out may have to do this over and over again depending on how much fear and anxiety your older adult is feeling.

4. Make a recording of yourself.

Another way to soothe your senior when you can’t be right next to them is to have them listen or watch something you’ve recorded for them.

Maybe it’s a tape or MP3 of you reading their favorite book. Or you might make a video of you reading aloud or even of you doing regular chores. Sometimes just being able to hear or see you is enough of a comfort to get them through the time of separation.

5. Help them understand how long you’ll be gone.

Part of the problem is that seniors with Alzheimer’s lose their sense of time. A minute, a day, or a year might seem the same because they’ve lost the ability to keep track of time. So saying that you’ll just be gone for a minute might not even mean anything to them.

Try something simple like an egg timer to help them track time. For example, if you’re going to the bathroom, set the timer for the amount of time you’ll be gone – 5 minutes. Have your older adult hold the timer and let them know that when the buzzer goes off, that’s when you’ll be back. They’ll be able to watch the numbers count down and know exactly when you’ll return. This can also work for other quick chores like checking the mailbox or taking out the trash.

Mild cognitive impairment (MCI) is associated with typical memory changes caused by aging, causing a slight but noticeable and measurable decline in cognitive abilities, including memory and thinking skills. Your tendency to be forgetful doesn’t necessarily mean you have Alzheimer’s disease or dementia. Instead, you may have MCI.

While MCI does increase your risk of developing Alzheimer’s and/or other dementias, some people with MCI never experience further cognitive decline. Further, MCI usually does not interfere with daily function in the way Alzheimer’s disease does. However, people with this condition often recognize that their mental function has declined.
There are two types of MCI: amnesic and non-amnesic. Amnesic MCI is more common than non-amnesic MCI. Symptoms may include forgetting about important appointments, or missing events that you had planned to attend.
On the other hand, non-amnesic MCI is characterized by impaired thinking and struggling with self-awareness, organization, or judgement. Symptoms may include difficulty with making plans, or problem-solving.Key facts about mild cognitive impairment

It can be difficult to diagnose.

There is no standardized/conclusive way to know if a person has MCI.

The underlying cause of MCI is yet to be determined.

It is unclear why some people with MCI develop Alzheimer’s disease and others do not.

For over a decade and from coast to coast, fraudsters have successfully been manipulating seniors over the phone through intimidation and confusion. Not only do these criminals receive a quick payout, but also glean sensitive personal information that may result in future identity theft.
It starts with an after-hours phone call when fraudulent callers falsely claim to be members of local police, sheriff’s department, the U.S. Marshals, or other law enforcement offices claims. The recipient is then told that they have failed to appear for mandated jury duty, missed a court-summoned order to appear as a defendant in a case, have a warrant out for their arrest, or are in contempt of court. The caller ID may even display correct phone numbers for a law enforcement agency or a courthouse while the caller may cite names of known police and judges. The scheme is to make the recipient fearful, wondering if they have indeed missed a summons.
Next, the fraudulent caller states that the victim must pay a fine, usually in the form of a prepaid debit or gift card. He will then ask to confirm the recipient’s identity by soliciting legal name, date of birth, Social Security number, and other ID theft details. At this point, the scammer has the minimum information needed to empty bank accounts, open lines of credit, and access sensitive medical records.

The jury duty scam can be avoided by following these 5 steps:

1. Hang up without providing any confidential information. The fraudulent caller’s only goal is to gather as many sensitive details about the recipient as possible so that they are able to steal as much as possible from them. Avoid releasing these specifics.

2. Know what to expect in the mail. Most authentic jury duty notifications and other summonses are delivered by mail. Only in very rare cases will a prospective jurors be called by legitimate courthouse employees. However, this will only ocur after a jury duty summons was mailed but returned to sender because it couldn’t be delivered. You will never won’t be asked for personal information such as your Social Security number, birth date or driver’s license number.

3. Recognize that legitimate law enforcement officials do not call ahead to warn of an impending arrest, missing jury duty, or any other infraction.

4. Do not answer unknown calls after business hours. Fraudulent will attempt to make contact in the evening after the courthouse has closed because they know they have a better chance of reaching their intended victims.

5. Verify missed jury allegations with the court clerk or other jury duty coordinator. Thieves can manipulation the caller ID to display the name and phone number of any agency or business, so don’t be fooled by their ability to appear authentic.
If you have further questions or concerns regarding this long-standing scam, please contact your local law enforcement agency.