On August 3, 2005 I stepped onto the Millerntor field as a Kiezkicker for the very first time vs Rot Weiss Erfurt. The game went by so fast and I don’t remember too much from the game apart from the feeling of pride, the pride of playing in front of a passionate crowd who were willing to push me to be the best player I could be! The feeling that I was unbeatable and that no one could defeat me. For the first time in my life I felt like I was at home with the people I loved and I had a new family now. The trainer, the team, the fans were my new family and that family was about to start a magical journey and achieve goals that only dreams were made of.

My first visit to the Millerntor was an eye-opening experience and brought my heart to race beyond belief. Of course, at that time I was playing for „the other side“, I was a member of the HSV amateurs, but from the first time I had ever seen the Millerntor and the fans of FC ST PAULI, I knew that this is where I belonged and this is where I want to play my football.

When I first met Andreas Bergmann, I could see he had a burning passion for the FC St. Pauli and he wanted to help this club get back to where they belonged and that was in the Bundesliga, so he started the long process of building a team that was going to be successful on the field. When I signed, he also signed Timo Schultz, Thomas Meggle, Felix Luz, Dennis Thornieport, Ive Sulentic and Schubi Schubitudze. The quality of these players was very very high and I knew, I was coming into a team that was going places.

Andreas Bergmann

Andreas was a fantastic guy who lived and breathed St Pauli. He wanted success so much for the team, fans and club that he would do anything to win games. His pre-game talks were fantastic and I have never had a trainer before or since, who can get me fired up for a game like Andreas could. He had fire in his eyes, when he talked to us and would almost have a heart attack trying to get the team ready for games. I liked him a lot and he gave me a lot of confidence but he just didn’t get the right results in the league and it was a sad day when he had to leave as coach.

The Pokal Erfolg

When we played the first pokal spiel vs Wacker Burghausen, I had to watch from the tribune due to injury and that game was a fun game to watch. It was a very close game and in the end Felix Luz scored the winner and we went on to party at the festivities at the „Welt Astra Tag“ down at the harbour with all of our supporters in the sunshine. It was a special feeling to meet our fans for the first time and to see how much St Pauli meant to each and everyone.

Vfl Bochum – was an amazing game. We went into the game knowing that it was going to be a very hard game. Bochum was top of the 2. Bundesliga and undefeated in 2005, but after the pre-game speech from Andreas Bergmann we were all ready to fight like never before to beat this team. Nobody expected us to win this game and no one ever thought that we could beat them 4-0 but we played a very good game and destroyed them.

Hertha BSC Berlin – This game was an amazing game to watch, but I have to admit, it was the most nervous game I have ever played in. When they took the lead, I just had the feeling that everything was going to be ok, because our players were on fire and they would make something special happen. To win this game was the best feeling I had ever had at that time in football, thanks to Ive Sulentic and Robert Palikuca for the winning goal. To score a winning goal like that meant so much to the team and to the fans, but we were finally helping the Club out financially and that was why we were there! To be successful and help St. Pauli get out of financial trouble.

Werder Bremen – snow, ice and the best atmosphere I have ever heard at the Millerntor. This game was special in so many ways. Bremen did not want to play this game due to the danger of the Rasen, but no matter what the decision was, we were ready to go to battle. From the 1st minute to the last I knew, we were going to beat Bremen and the look of fear in their eyes told me that they did not want to play this game and wanted to get the hell out of there as fast as possible. We were very happy to show them the exit door out of the DFB Pokal and take our place in the Semi Final draw. Fabian Boll scored the most amazing goal and we celebrated in style with our fans who deserved to celebrate success after 2-3 very bad years of results.

Bayern München – this game was the biggest game of the season for our team, we had already helped the Club out financially with the Pokal earnings, but now this game was different. We honestly thought we could beat Bayern and take our Club to Berlin for the final. Personally this game was so disappointing as I had to sit and watch from the bench. I was so angry at Coach Bergmann for leaving me out, but I knew the team needed me to help push them and thats what I did, but it wasn’t enough and we were beaten. The team had given everything to win and in my opinion were the better team, but Bayern had that class that won the game for them.

Regionalliga – the season was not going well even though we were the best team in the Regionalliga. Maybe the Pokal success took our minds away from our job of winning the league, but things just were not going well and we finished the season in a poor 6. place.

Saison 2006/07 -The season started with the Pokal draw and again we had to play Bayern Munchen.

Pokalauslosung im Aktuellen Sportstudio

What an amazing game we played and we were the better team on this day. We should have won, but we just never took our chances and after one of the best goalkeeper performances I have ever seen from Paddy Borger, he made the worst mistake I have ever seen by pushing the ball into his own net of a cross from Philip Lahm. He did not deserve that bad luck and we did not deserve to lose, but maybe looking back now it was probably a good thing that we got knocked out of the Pokal, because now we could concentrate on winning the Regionalliga and finally getting this Club back into the 2. Bundesliga.

We did not have a good run of results and unfortunately Andreas Bergmann got fired and then Holger Stanislawski took over the team.

HOLGER STANISLAWSKI

Everybody knew Stani around the team and loved having him around even when Bergmann was trainer, but when he took over the team as head coach, he changed everything. Stani was the most professional coach and such an amazing man. He had an aura about him that whenever he walked in the room, everybody sat up and took notice of what he was saying or doing. Every player had respect for him.
Stani helped me out personally in so many ways. On the field he made me better and off the field he helped me become a better man.

Winterpause 2006/2007 – The training had heated up and Stani made the guys do the toughest pre-season I had ever done. We ran a lot, we trained longer, we ate together, he was trying to get us to toughen up and grow as a team together. The training was very hard, but no one complained and we all got into the best shape of our lives and prepared for a fight from position 12 in der Regionalliga.

From the winter break until the final „punktspiel“ we played some fantastic football. Stani had given us the fitness to outrun and outfight all of our opponents. We were the best team in the liga before, but now we were showing it and doing it at he right time.

I got an injury in the 2nd last Heimspiel gegen Fortuna Düsseldorf and I had to miss the rest of the season. I was so disappointed, but we had enough quality in the squad that we could lose a player or two and someone was ready to step up and take my place. I missed the games vs Erfurt and the big one vs Dynamo Dresden but I had done my part for the team and all I could do now was help motivate them for the big games.

Aufstieg 2007 – What an amazing game vs Dresden, but I knew and we all believed that we would win this game. Everything was ready for a big big party and nothing was going to stop us from going to the 2. Liga.

What a party!!! What a fantastic night and a night that I will never forget. I remember walking onto the stage on the Reeperbahn and seeing so many people that the eye could see. It was very special moment and I had a tear in my eye realizing that I had achieved my goal of helping this club and these amazing fans back to where they belong. I recorded the whole thing on my video camcorder so that the memories will always be there for me to share with my family in the future.
I wear my FC ST. PAULI 2006/07 Regionalliga MEISTER ring every day as a reminder of what I did to make my dreams come true and to help others realize their dreams. That ring is for the hard work and determination that I put into my career as a footballer.

2. Bundesliga – I was a very good footballer in the Regionalliga but I had never played in the Bundesliga before and I did not know if I was going to be good enough to play at that level so I made sure that I went back after the summer break the fittest I had ever been. I trained like an animal to make sure that I was ready.

I will never forget a conversation I had with Stani before the season started and I told him I don’t know if I’m good enough to play in the Bundesliga and what he said I will never forget. He said „I never thought that I was good enough to play in the Bundesliga and look what happened, I played in the 1st Liga“. He also said that he gave me a new contract, because he and everyone in St Pauli believed that I was good enough. I actually played better in the 2. Liga than I ever did in the Regionalliga and I started to enjoy myself so much. I just wish that I could have played a lot more games for St Pauli in the 2. Liga.

Playing vs Augsburg in the 2. Bundesliga was an amazing feeling but to score a goal in front of the St Pauli fans! My fans! My people! This was the best moment of my whole time in Germany.

I finally got the chance to celebrate with all my boys to the Song2 celebration song! I ran to Morike who was on the bench for that game and he raised me up high as he could so that I could enjoy my moment. All the players ran to celebrate with me and the pictures from that will stay with me forever.

Leaving for USA – It was the hardest thing that I had ever had to do. I had to ask Stani if I could leave my contract to go back to America. Stani was the best listener and he knew all the problems that were going on in my life and helped me out so many times when I was having a bad day.
I left St Pauli for one reason and that was to try and save my marriage with my wife Amy and to try and keep our family together. We had a beautiful daughter Madison who was born in Hamburg and she now became the most important thing in my life!

Whatever I had to do to make sure that Madison was happy, I did do and unfortunately I thought that leaving St. Pauli was going to help. I signed a 4 year contract with Major League Soccer and transfered to Salt Lake City, Utah. Sadly, after 4 months of trying to keep our family together, I separated from my wife Amy and she moved back to Europe with my daughter. I was alone in America and the reality had begun to sink in that I was no longer where I wanted to be, but I had made a promise to help this new team Real Salt Lake and I stayed. If someone had given me the chance to go back to St. Pauli, I would have gone back in a heartbeat, but I had made my decision and I had to move on.

2010– 2 1/2 Years have passed since I left St Pauli and not a day goes by that I don’t regret leaving. I have had some great experiences in America and I managed to help Real Salt Lake become successful, they won the Championship of Major League soccer. I have had a lot of injuries since in the last 2 years and spent a little bit of time back in Germany with FC Ingolstadt, but I am now on to my next challenge and that is to help the Portland Timbers become Champions in their final season in the United Soccer Leagues before moving to Major League Soccer next season, which will be a special moment for me to help them become a force in America’s Major Leagues.

Hamburg – My daughter still lives in Hamburg and I spend a lot of time traveling back to visit her and the Millerntor.

I always take her to watch St Pauli play, whenever we get the chance and she is a big St Pauli fan. She always loves touching my tattoo.

The whole reason I got the tattoo was because I felt a part of the St Pauli family and the years I spent there, were the best years of my life. I became a fan of FC St Pauli from the first time I watched the team play and I will continue to be a fan until I die. The passion, the life, the reality of what St Pauli is, makes me what I am today and makes me proud to honor what we stand for in a tattoo. St Pauli is more than just football, it is a cult and to be a part of that cult is something to be proud of.

I thank everyone of you for giving me the chance to be a part of your life.

your words touch my heart. Maybe you understand these words we use in hamburg: „Jetzt hab ich Pipie in den Augen“😉 and it sounds hackneyed but you’ll never walk alone. Janine and I are thinking of you so often.

@Ian: Well… All i can say is it was a pleasure to read your warmhearted words, a big cheers, mate! All the best for you, your family and your career. Your always welcome at the Millerntor… there is a light and it never goes out.🙂