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Ask: How do you help someone change a hurtful interpretation?

I
have been trying to help someone and have been trying to have them, when they
see something disturbing, to tell the Holy Spirit that you are willing to see
this differently. Last week she saw a beggar yelling at his dog. She has a
particular problem with suffering dogs of the world. I tried to explain how we
perceive and then interpret what we perceive. She wrote back “what about when
you see something hurtful or sad when it is obvious and not an interpretation.”
She got me there. The problem is it all results in her giving large amounts of
money and it completely ruins her day and results in a deep depression that can
last a week or most likely longer. During this time she can do nothing. I think
you get the picture. How can I answer her comments?... – DH

If
you want inner peace then you want to sort out fact from interpretation
(projection of meaning). You never respond to facts, but to your
interpretations. Your interpretations always tie in some way to your own story
for the personal self with which you indentify. Usually, it is some form of
“victim” story. Or it may tie into a role that you play and that you value. The
value in your seeing this is in seeing how your thoughts make up the world in
which you seem to find yourself. You don’t really live in the world of form;
you live in your thoughts about it. When you accept this then you are empowered
to change your mind and therefore your experience from conflict to peace.

In
this situation a person yelled at their dog. “Hurtful” and “sad” are your
friend’s interpretations (if she used those words to refer to this particular
situation). These thoughts are to what she is responding and they lead to her
depression. She thinks her thoughts are facts. No doubt she identifies with the
vulnerability of dogs, which are at the mercy of humans, just as she feels she
is at the mercy of the world at large.

There
are many ways in which to interpret anything in the universe of form because it
is neutral. But A Course in Miracles
simplifies things greatly by teaching that what isn’t love is a call for love.
The experience of love or the call for love is always in the mind of the perceiver.
But in the beginning most see these calls “out there” in the images that they
perceive because they believe that their experience comes from the images and not
from their own mind. This is a beginning, however, in that choosing to see a
call for love at least replaces their initial interpretation and teaches them
that they can choose to see things differently. This opens the process for them
to eventually accept that their experience of love or a call for love can come
only from their own mind.

Generally
in a situation where another feels attacked I help them to understand that
their perceived attacker was coming from their own pain. They were calling for
love. Their attack was not personal. But what makes your friend’s situation so
difficult is that she takes personally situations that do not even involve her.
Someone yells at a dog and now she is hurt and saddened, not just in passing,
but for many days. She has made herself a victim of the beggar when the beggar
was not even addressing her.

One
obsesses on the perceived pain of others to avoid dealing with their own pain.
Your friend is not yet ready to ask the Holy Spirit for another way to look at
things. She would have to be willing to look inward to become aware of the Holy
Spirit. And she is not going to be willing to do that until she is willing to
look at her own perceived problems. At this stage traditional psychotherapy is
probably called for. You can encourage her to get help, which is her choice to
make. And in the meantime you can be her friend simply by listening and
understanding. Sometimes, “That sounds very painful; I’m sorry you’re hurting”
is all the love that someone is ready to hear.

>>>>

Learn about the books The ACIM Mentor Articles, The Plain Language A Course in Miracles, and 4 Habits for Inner Peace at www.acimmentor.com.

If you have a question that you want answered in the ACIM Mentor Newsletter/Blog email it to Liz@acimmentor.com and indicate that you want it answered here.

So let me see if Ive got this clear. The call for love is in the mind of the perceiver and not the situation that appears unloving. Thus, the perceiver now has the possibility to take responsibility for the perceived attack and respond with forgiveness and a request for guidance to perceive the situation differently. Is there something else that can be done? in the mind or otherwise to respond to the call for love? Thank you Liz

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I have been a student of A Course in Miracles since 1984, a life coach since 2000, and a mentor for students of A Course in Miracles and 4 Habits for Inner Peace since 2006. You can learn more about me and what I offer at my website, www.acimmentor.com.