Spanking Blog doesn’t often mention or comment on news stories like this one, because there’s nothing erotic about criminal charges:

Strippers Arrested in Alleged Spanking
3 Strippers and Two Club Managers in Arkansas Arrested for Allegedly Injuring Man With Spanking

Jul. 10, 2005 – Three strippers and two nightclub managers have been arrested for allegedly spanking a Bald Knob trucker at his 31st birthday bash and severely bruising his backside.

After his friends paid $25, Keith Lowery was handcuffed and spanked with a 3-foot-long paddle and a belt while one of the strippers restrained his head with her legs, investigators with the Pulaski County Sheriff’s Office said.

Kelly Eslick, 21, a stripper at Sensations nightclub in Jacksonville, northeast of Little Rock, admitted to police that she used a paddle drilled with holes for less air resistance while the two other dancers, Lisa Nolen, 23, and Charlene Smith, 23, used the belt.

The three women were charged with misdemeanor battery, and they and two other club employees James Daugherty, 31, and Dena Mitchell, 30 were charged with participating in an obscene performance at a live public show, a felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison.

Daugherty had planned to have patrons sign a waiver releasing the club from liability, but investigators said the club has agreed to discontinue all spankings. All five club employees were arraigned Friday, then released after receiving an Aug. 4 court date in Pulaski County District Court.

What makes this story interesting, however, are the things said and not said. “Bruising his backside”, “handcuffed”, “restrained his head”, “misdemeanor battery” — these are all phrases designed to suggest that Keith Lowery was the unwilling victim of his loutish friends and some sadistic strippers. Our mind is supposed to paint a picture of his outrage and humiliation and his complaint to the police, without which (in civilized jurisdictions) there could be no battery charge.

But go read the story again. You’ll not find a word indicating that Keith Lowery was at all unhappy with his buddies’ birthday gift. Despite the reporter’s strong efforts to paint the picture of an unwelcome physical assault, isn’t it curious that there’s not a single actual fact in the story to back up that viewpoint?

I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts, the “investigators” mentioned in the story were in the club undercover, looking for an excuse to make arrests or otherwise hassle the club owners. Who here thinks (based on the reporting in the story) that Keith Lowery ever said a word of complaint prior to the arrests?