Why do I have to choose? A letter from a daughter to her mother.

I am in love, for the very first time and I think it might be the last.

He is not perfect, he isn’t an engineer or a topper who you would consider to keep as a trophy and show off among all the relatives.

He is a gentleman, who would never let me cry alone,

WhoI enjoy with,

Who makes everyday look like a dream,

Who consoles me, embraces me and make me laugh even when I am about to cry.

You don’t know him much, all you know him is from the 2-3 messages you read from my phone sneakingly,

The thought still hurts, of how you didn’t wait for me to show you, the man I was in love with on my own, rather took that demeaning step on your own.

Maybe that’s why my trust broke a little, so did yours.

Yet, after you read the messages, I tried to explain, I tried to tell you everything about him, my feelings, his feelings, my goals and his. All you did was tell me it’s just an infatuation and to leave him.

I obliged to those words.

But I couldn’t stop myself being drawn to him because his face is etched to my heart and Ican’t erase it however hard I try.

So,I did a thing I would never imagine in my life, I disobeyed you.

I was this girl, who would listen to everything you say, without fighting or reasoning it out.

I was the smart daughter you love and I am happy to be that.

I was this girl, who didn’t believe in love and believed love ruins life,

but he came into my life. Slowly and I couldn’t stop myself, falling for this perfect man who fit my souls other piece like a jigsaw puzzle.

I still remember the day he asked me out and I was so happy yet shivering in my room,

Am I betraying my own mother for this selfish boon?

Even though I said yes, there was a big stone in my heart, till today it sits and is taking over my senses.

Mother, I know you don’t want a boy to come into my life, I understand it’s not the time to say boyfriend and hang around cafe but it’s time to set up my life, yet whenever he is around I feel life is complete.

Please, try to understand.

How am I supposed to live with this feeling of love and heartbreak at this same time?

My love towards him breaks the trust towards you.

Why am I put in such a vicious circle?

Is loving a man so bad?

If it is, why do you save day and night, saying you have to marry me off to someone someday and need money for all of that?

It hurts, that you don’t consider what I am going through but act same as those stereotypical mothers, which you mocked at.