It's hard to be fully present in either world, and I've found myself struggling... at work, I think about my little man constantly, and when I get home, I am holding my kid on my hip as I log in to find 50 e-mails since I left work two hours ago.

But you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. I love, love, love working. Maybe it's because I view myself as successful (and everyone's definition of that is different) in the workplace, and I know that the work I do drives results. I live for it. The competition. The recognition. The work I do is exactly what I should be doing, and I love it.

But I also love my little boy. I love snuggling, playing, and taking walks. I love reading him books even though he has no idea what I am reading.

It makes it hard to make the decision to lead two full time jobs: my career and being a mom.

Even though I love my career, I find myself daily having to justify two things: One, I love my career and crave everything that comes along with my role: leading people, the politics, the pressure, the visibility, the money... everything. Two, my little man NEEDS interaction with others... especially other kids. Daycare is an environment that he needs for his own development, and he is so loved and well-taken-care-of.

But it's still hard. Would I be a good stay-at-home-mama? Hell, no. I wouldn't ever want to do it, either (although I give so much credit to the women who want and can stay at home with their little ones... it's not an easy job!). But going to work isn't always easy, either.

I wouldn't give it up for the world... I love my little man to pieces and being a mom is more rewarding than I could have imagined. I've also found - for me - that being career-focused is incredibly rewarding, too.

And, so, my two full time jobs continue... and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Sitting on my couch, watching The Bachelor - I can NOT believe he picked Courtney. I barely even watch this show, but I know enough to know that she is crazy. Grrrr.... not that I thought his other choice was his soul mate, but Courtney?! Seriously?

Anyway, I've been a good blog follower, but lacked in the comment department in the past several days... I will be commenting yet tonight and tomorrow!

Here are a few updates:

- AF finally arrived. Oh, the joys :) No complaints, though - this is exactly what I wanted. I took Provera for 10 days, and, like clockwork, AF came on Day 10. I am on CD5, planning on tracking this cycle. Not sure if we'll "give it our all" and try to get pregnant this month, but at least it's good to track and see if I even ovulate. Maybe I am so nonchalant about it because I am totally envisioning this taking a long time again. Hopefully I am wrong :)

- Max is amazing. Two teeth, popping in a third, rolling/scooting all over the place, prefers to stand and have his hands held while he walks, can sit by himself for quite some time. He's eating oatmeal, rice, all fruits, and all veggies. No food he doesn't like. This is why he is 22 pounds. He's a big boy! We are getting pictures done on Friday - I'll post as soon as I have them!

- I LOVE this weather! Here in MN, we hit 60 degrees today, and 70 degrees is forecasted this week. LOVE IT!

- More to come this week... it's been busy around here, so sorry for my lack of updates. I will post soon!

Saturday, March 3, 2012

I had been holding Max this afternoon for an extended period of time... usually Mr. D and I take turns handing him off and letting the other have some time. Not that I don't love holding him, but I needed a little break. So, Mr. D came up to me, put his arms out for Max and said, "Come on, buddy, let's let Mommy go blog."

Love it :)

So, here I am, catching up on my bloggie friends' blogs and enjoying a glass of red wine.

I am on day 6 of Provera, still 4 more to go. No sign of AF yet, I fully expect her this week. I bought new batteries so I can fire up the Clear.blue fertility monitor on day 1 of my cycle. I am planning on just trying to figure out my pattern - or lack there of - this month. Hopefully I ovulate and things start going back to "normal" in my body. We'll see :)

I'll leave you with a picture... this is my little Maxwell at the Dr.'s office for his 6 month check-up on Thursday (I was a couple weeks late with his appointment). This was before he received 3 shots in his legs... poor pumpkin. He continues to be 95th percentile for height and weight, and is now 85th percentile for head circumference. He is our chunky, chubby, healthy baby :)

Our First Born

Our Second Born

How It All Began...

About Me

Mr. D and I were married in 2006, and my last BCP was in December 2008. After starting to attempt to conceive, all we experienced were: ovulation predictor kits, pee-sticks, heartache, a miscarriage, charts showing temp trends, Clomid, Clomid, and more Clomid, various medical procedures... you name it. Mr. D tested perfectly, and I went through a few procedures (HSG, lap) to ensure my tubes were clear.
On one, last, final attempt without medical assistance prior to moving forward with the steps recommended by our RE, we found out on December 2, 2010 that we were pregnant. We welcomed Maxwell (Max) Brian to the world on August 17, 2011 and couldn't be happier. He is truly a miracle, and we've never forgotten how hard it was for us to welcome him to our family.
After Max was born, we quickly started on the journey to #2, praying that it wouldn't take too long to get pregnant again. We found out on May 26, 2012 that we were expecting Max's little brother. Mason William was born on January 30, 2013, and was the perfect addition to complete our family.
We are blessed.

July 2009: Doctor appointment. Everything looks great; it will just take time. Filled prescription of Prometrium to jump start cycle. Started temp charting and OPKs.

January - June 2009: TTC, no luck

December 2008: Last round of BCPs

2006, 2007, 2008: Traveled a ton domestically and internationally for work and pleasure, became fans of great wine, enjoyed marriage, decided to think about trying to start a family

July 2006: Married Mr. D in a huge ceremony. Complete happiness.

July 2005: Mr. D proposes by saying, "I want you to be my one and only forever. Will you marry me?"

July 2004: Met Mr. D. It was love at first sight. I actually was thinking, "I really don't want to be in a relationship right now, but it looks like he'll be in my life for awhile" prior to ever exchanging a word.