Cute Little Buggers (2017)

Not since 1972’s Night Of The Lepus has a movie given me the legitimate heebies about those evil hoppin’ bunnies – Cute Little Buggers is one of those films that tosses our asses back in the time machine and forces us to remember those ultra-cheesy B-films of years ago…now if I could only erase my memory to swipe the slate clean and forget about them, and this one as well.

Directed by Tony Jopia, this (ahem) “interesting” flick revolves around a tiny British town that is overrun by murderous, fluffy bunnies, all backed up by a group of aliens bent on overtaking the world…so what better creature to infect and turn against the populous? Yep, I was almost done with this one right after it started, and aside from its complete inanity, it’s been a LONG time since a film almost made me want to shut it down before it even got rolling – no lie, folks – this was atrocious. We’ve got a little bit of rivalry between a father and son, and somewhat of a forgotten love story to boot, but this film’s all about those damn bunnies, and when they attack, it isn’t pretty…literally and figuratively. Look, I could bash this movie until the freakin’ cows come home (or the bunnies), but in the end of all things it would be just another 4-500 word vociferation about the utter tragedy that’s contained under the scope of this film, and not even the quick presence of Caroline Munro could rescue this miserable flop from the litter box.

Have I mentioned the acting in this one? No? Okay – allow me to attack this one for a second, and before all of the internet softies jump on my ample rear for bullying in essence, let me break this down for you: it’s not bullying if it’s the truth. The truth here is that these performances look as if the casting call took place at the post office, and a “talent agent” walked in and asked if anyone wanted to be in a film, and while I completely understand the requirement to act cheesy in a cheesy film, this was the equivalent of a hearing impaired waiter at Olive Garden sprinkling TOO MUCH Parmesan on your pasta – FAR TOO MUCH. The only bonus that I could find is one that could appeal to the horny drunk crowd, and it’s the over-saturation of “boob-ocity” that’s on display – honestly thought I was watching a Jess Franco film for a second. Overall, Cute Little Buggers might appeal to those yearning for a complete breakdown of logic and purity with their film-watching, but for the majority I can see this wreck getting its brakes stomped on before the inevitable crash happens – take a huge pass on this one.