I work in a plumbing store. A lady came in saying she has questions on product she bought from us.

Me: “What exactly is the problem?”

Customer: “This is the same brand, but my shower doesn’t work!”

-Hands me a on/off handle for a shower-

Me: “What brand of valve did you use?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “The part inside the wall that this attaches to. What brand is it?”

Customer: “It’s the same brand! I have always had this brand!”

Me: “Well, this brand has two valves. One has a handle that pulls out from the wall and then turns and one just turns. Which do you have?”

Customer: “The one that pulls out.”

Me: “Well, there is the problem. This one is not meant to do that.”

Customer: “Then make it work!”

Me: “Well, I cannot. If it was the other way around, I could probably find something. However, you will need to get the same sort of set-up. You need one that will pull out and then turn.”

Customer: “But I bought this one!”

Me: “Well, we could credit this towards a replacement for it. When did you buy it?”

Customer: “I got it two weeks ago!”

Me: “Okay, what is the name on your order?’

Customer: “Maxine.”

Me: “I have no records of a sale. Are you sure you got it here?”

Customer: “Yes, and I want you to replace it and get me the new one! Why didn’t you tell me that I could need a different kind?”

Me: “Someone should have asked. It is usually the first question asked when buying this brand. However, your name is not in our system. I also checked the sales for the trim and there is nothing.”

Customer: “Well, I got it on Amazon.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I got it off of Amazon!”

Me: “Well, then I am afraid I cannot help you. I can sell you the new trim, but I cannot give you any sort of credit.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “Because you did not buy it from us.”

Customer: “So??”

Me: “So, I cannot give you back money for something you did not buy.”

Customer: “But I did buy it!”

Me: “But not from us. You bought it from an online store. Since you didn’t give us money, we cannot give you any money back.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make sense!”

Me: “You bought it from somewhere else. Not us. We don’t have your money. So you don’t get our money.”

Customer: “Are you giving me attitude??”

Me: “I don’t know how else to explain it, ma’am. You brought us something you bought offline and tried to get us to replace it. The piece you have also has no warranty on it, since you got it from an unauthorized dealer,so there is no way I can even contact the brand to help you.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “You didn’t buy it from us, so you cannot exchange. You got it off of Amazon, so the brand itself also won’t help you. Your only option is to buy a completely new item, hopefully this time from an expert who can tell you which one will work.”

Customer: “Oh, right, you are an expert?”

Me: -points to our display of that same brand- “Of the twenty showers up there, only five come with the setup needed to run with that brand. The first two here, the two next to the window and the one on the end. Those are your choices, unless you want to open up your wall and change the valve.”

Customer: “I don’t want to open up the wall!”

Me: “Then those are your choices!”

Customer: “What about the one I bought?”

Me: “What about it?”

Customer: “Can I use it or not?”

Me: “No. Only the five I mentioned are the ones capable of working with the set up that you have.”

Customer: “Fine. Get me a similar looking one and then give me my refund.”

Me: “You still don’t get a refund. You didn’t buy from us.”

Customer: “I bet this is all a scam! You just want my money!”

Me: “I stopped your shower from working just to make some money off of you?”

Customer: “You could have!”

Me: “How? You got that from Amazon. I have no control over Amazon.”

Customer: “You just could have! Now give me my money!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s OUR money, not yours. Please stop asking for it. Now, those five I pointed out are your choices. Do you like any of them?”

Customer: “No! I still don’t get why I cannot just use this trim!”

Me: “Ma’am, I feel like this is getting redundant at this point. I cannot make that trim work. You have five choices. One is a little similar to what you already have. I would go with that one.”

(I am the customer. I recently purchased a truck and am going in to finish the payment set-up at the bank. I am female.)

Banker: “Okay, so, according to this statement, your payments are going to be $305.00. Do you want that directly from your savings or checking?”

Me: “Yeah, checking, please! I am really excited. I have never owned my own car before!”

Banker: “What sort of vehicle did you decide on?”

Me: “I got an F-150.”

Banker: “What is that?”

Me: “A Ford?”

Banker: “I’ve never heard of it.”

Me: “It’s a popular truck.”

Banker: “You got a truck?”

Me: “Yes. I love it.”

Banker: “But you are a girl!”

Me: “Yes… Yes, I am.”

Banker: “Why didn’t you get a car?”

Me: “I have had a car before, but I really liked the truck.”

Banker: “Girls can’t drive trucks.”

Me: *pauses* “What?”

Banker: “Girls can’t drive trucks! Those are meant for boys!”

Me: “No offense, but that is absurd. It’s just a truck.”

Banker: “Are you a lesbian?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Banker: “Are you a lesbian? Lesbians drive trucks.”

Me: “What is wrong with you? It’s just a car! And no, not that it’s any of your business, but I am not a lesbian, but I take great offense to your stereotyping people based only on the sort of car they drive. This is so wrong.”

Banker: “Are you sure you aren’t a lesbian? I mean, you look girly, but you never know….”

Me: “Do you have a boss?”

Banker: “Yes.”

Me: “Go get them.”

(I explained the entire situation to the boss, while the banker looked completely confused as to why anyone would find her offensive or wrong at all. The bank covered my first payment over it, and I have never seen that lady working there since.)