Give us your best NUN Story !

The kid sitting in his desk in front of me turned around because he heard me open a candy wrapper.

His name was Tim, he had a buzz cut and his ears stuck out. Sister Rose Marie happened to catch him not looking forward. She was a big imposing woman in that white cornette and black habit. Her giant black shoes were headed our way, really fast. She attempted to yank poor Tim from his desk by grabbing his almost non existent hair, but she couldn't get a hold. Alas, she did exactly what I feared, she grasped for one of those tea-kettle ear handles on the side of his head. We could all hear the cartilage give and the immediate shrill from poor Tim. This was 1967. There was no child advocacy, or ADDH diagnosis. Tim still had one ear hanging about 1/4 inch low when we graduated High School !

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Early one morning in rural Ireland two leprechauns knocked on the door of a convent and asked for the Mother Superior. The Mother Superior comes out and the older of the two leprechauns asks, "Mother Superior, are there any wee little leprechan nuns in this convent?" Rather startled and bemused the Mother Superior says, "No, there aren't any wee little leprechaun nuns in this convent." "Well then," asks the older leprechaun, "are there any wee little leprechaun nuns at any convent in this county?" Even more confused than bemused the Mother Superior says. "No, therearen't any wee little leprechaun nuns in any convent in this county." "Well let me ask you one more question then," says the older leprechaun, "Do you know of any wee little leprechaun nuns at any convent in any county in all of Ireland?" Now confused and a little bewildered Mother Superior says. "No, I know of no wee little leprechaun nuns at any convent in any county in all of Ireland." The younger of the two leprechauns is now looking very downcast, staring at his shoes. Then the older leprechaun puts his hands on his hips and turns to the younger one and says, "There you go Sean, you heard her, I told you you were fucking a penguin!"

This was still happening in the 90's. I had my hair yanked, my ears pulled, I was spanked, my hands were hit with a ruler... once she even chucked a ruler at me from across the room. Kindergarten used to be Iraq.

Sister Mary was taking a bath when there was a knock at the door of her room.

"Who is it" she called out.

"It's the blind man" came the muffled reply from the other side of the door.

Sister Mary got out of the bath to give some alms to the blind man and considered putting a robe on, but she did not want to make it wet for after her bath, and besides the blind man would not know the difference.

She opened the door to a strapping young man with a long cardboard box in his hands who said "Which window do you want the new blind fitting to? Nice tits by the way."