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Arthur Chi'en Fired: Why He Had No Choice

Have people forgotten what it means to live in this city? Do we not hold our media to the same standards that govern our own social interactions? Why, then, has WCBS fired Arthur Chi'en for turning around and dealing with two Opie and Anthony snipers as any good New Yorker would? Let's consider a few alternative reponses, and why Chi'en went with the money:

"Hey guys, can you please cut it out?" Standard fourth-grade teacher material. It's the kind of thing you're urged to say "next time", rather than throw sand in someone's eyes when they're clearly coming for your goodies. We've all seen reporters use this one, and it's totally emasculating.

"Stop it", a.k.a. "Quit it" We all know where this one is headed.

"Go away." Now, on one hand, this is probably the response of choice--a demand for relief, unambiguous, clean, and humiliating. Still, there is a much better version of this one, and it suffers from the same vocabulary issue that got Chi'en fired in the first place. Compared with "fuck off", "go away" sounds like what you say to ghosts when you're ten.

The Non-Response The "gold standard" of anti-heckling, non-response has a reporter taking the high road. This should, in principle, work for the duration of a fifteen-second standup; let the morons do their thing, confront them during the cutaway, leave the dirty work to the producer. A network expects this sort of thing from their reporters, the stoic face of impartial reportage. The problem with that is, you have two guys waving an Opie and Anthony poster around behind your head, toying you and your network like elementary school crossing guards, and you're going into your segment with millions of New Yorkers going, "Man, Arthur Chi'en's a dork--why doesn't he do something? Maybe he should have stayed at NY1." No, Arthur Chi'en grew up here, and he says "fuck that".

Yes, given the options, it is clear that Chi'en did the right thing. Confronted by brown-nosing radio interns on a dare, our man on the scene finished his sentence, turned, and asked the appropriate question: "What the fuck is your problem?" Why fire the guy? CBS should have given him a fat raise.

me,

I'm David Yee. When I'm not trying to make rent, I take pictures, write, program, eat, and try to ignore the sounds of traffic and yapping dogs outside my Brooklyn apartment. Tangentialism, often, is my record of those activities.