Sunday, December 28, 2003

ive added a quote from clamp. i dont know if i really agree with it and i dont expect many people to agree with it, but it well worth a thought. think about it, what kind of person are you? are you one who belives in fate, or one that believes than humans triumphs over fate? whether there is destiny or life is just a series of mere coincidences?

i spent this christmas with dear adolf hitler. okay, i spent just over 3 hours this christmas watching hitler: the rise of evil. if anyone wants to buy that vcd or dvd, really, i wouldnt advise it, but you can borrow it from me. its a stimulating watch due to its leading actors and actresses who put in a commendable effort and its artistic direction is almost flawless. however, as it is a story pieced by the victors, the story over focuses on hitlers evils and even so, there are many loopholes in their view of hitler. the flow of events is also rather inconsistent with several characters not having a clear role in the show. i would call it a show cos it doesnt really reflect what hitler was like. really, i dont think anybody can really interpret the true nature of our dear dictator.

after watching the biased view of hitler, i didnt have much christmas spirit left in me, but i did spent some time coming with new year resolutions which i would probably break some time soon. i resoluted last year that i would take down my daily accounts and keep track of my savings. i did that dutifully for about 8 months then it ended in a fiasco and now im like horrible in red, especially after buying that black dress, the camera, the phone... ... whoahahaha... so totally like looking forward to chinese new year lor...

ive my whole outfits for reunion dinner, the first and second day of chinese new year, and the seventh day dinner prepared... clothes... okay, its not fully prepared cos im not done with my shopping, but i do have a vague idea what i want and will work towards that shopping goal as soon as i have money. that means, i need a job real soon. i musnt procrastinate any more, i musnt pick on any jobs, i musnt give myself excuses for not finding work. haiz... suddenly sianz ½... cannot! cannot sianz ½ then procrastinate!

im going to cross my fingers and hope for the best to turn out.

well, another reason that i wish to find a job soon is also cos i want to get my biological clock back to normal. ive been sleeping and awake at the wrong times lately and i didnt realise the extent of the problem until i looked into the mirror and spotted (pun not intended) a whole lot of volcanoes among a sea of acne. if i dont get back into a proper sleeping routine, i will totally freak out relatives during cny. my aunt bought me some products from the natural source and natalie hoping that it will help ease up the acne problem. havent tried them yet, but if its good, it will earn some advertising space in this blog, so till then!

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

i just lurvvve christmas!!! i love receiving christmas and i better love sending them... all the writing and thanking friends for being there over the past year, catching up with those havent met for a long long time. id like to take this opportunity to thank all the friends who have sent me christmas cards and or other forms of christmas greetings! thank you.

id also like to thank mr kwan for the lunch he treated our class ytd, even though only half our maths class went. we went to secret recipe at siglap, i ate their drilled bbq chicken which was served with buttered rice, but their mushroom soup is well worth mentioning. most other places prepare their soups with onions which i dont really like, so it was very appetising to learn that secret recipes mushroom soup is done without the icky yucky onions. served with half a toasted bun, the soup is best drunk warm. strongly recommended by joan.

also visited the acm (asian civilisation museum) at armenian street ytd with eunice. really learnt a lot from this trip down there ytd, cant wait to make a trip down to the other acm at empress place some day.

today went town again to do some shopping. wisma and taka was like absolutely filled with people and more people that yanling commented that it seemed similar to a scene of the flooding of chinese immigrants into singapore at the end of the 19th century. seeing the number of couples on the streets today, wahaha, i also want a boyfriend! wahaha! haiz... really, if i can find a nice guy, rich, loves me, can take care of me, i dont mind getting married right away.

but clearly, im just dreaming, so never you mind me... haiz... anw, at kino today i bought a new comic series, the first two books. tsubasa reservoir chronicle, by clamp... havent read it yet so cant introduce it today. so, until after i get started with the comic... ...

Monday, December 22, 2003

ytd, in a good bye ceremony, i undressed blossoms of her usual pink garb and removed her pink and yellow slippers headwear to put on her original stoic blue and white uniform. from then on, it will be eternal farewell with her... ...

blossoms has weathered much with me. she was the one who consoled me when i entered tjc much against my wishes; she was there with me whenever i needed her; she lever really left me when she cranked out on me those couple of times. blossoms had to leave. she was dying, but at the very least, she didnt die on me when i sent her away, or it would bring much disgrace to me. when blossoms first came over to me, she often blanked out and when she was feeling real bad, she wouldnt work some keys, but as time passed, she came to be at ease with me and gave me fewer problems. then recently, she totally malfunctioned twice for a whole week, forcing me to borrow my mums. and when she blanked out more frequently without coming around automatically, i just knew her time was up. at least she died for $200 by not throwing tantrums when i passed her over.

byebye blossoms... ...

blossoms replacement cost $298 after the trade in. a hundred was paid using what my grandmother gave me, another hundred was paid using what my grandfather gave me and the remainder was forked out by my dad who knew clearly that blossoms couldnt make it anymore. the replacement is a nokia 3200 which i dont seem to click with that easily. it isnt my first choice replacement model, but it was on promotion. anw, my line will be expiring in 6 months time, so i most probably get something i really want then.

the salesman attending me at the nokia shop at parkway helped me transfer all my contacts over to the replacement, but i had to give up all the messages i had kept in my outbox and some of those it kept in my inbox. my heart bleeds every time i think of this. blossoms, i really miss you... please, blossoms, believe me, i really didnt want to give you up, i just didnt have much of a choice left... ...

well, the replacement is still charging up, and i have to let it (mind you, i still cant determine the gender or personality or whatsoever of the replacement yet) charge up throughout the night, so i can only let on its features and assess it tmr.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

its now been one month after my last exam paper, but some how it seems like its been ages. ive did so many things since then and went out like almost everyday to feel tired and prolonged. before the exams were over, id many plans made for this long vacation, but after this one month, quite sad to say, i have yet done much.

im like so behind time for the christmas cards!!! i HAVE to complete them by today, send them out by tmr or it would be horribly belated. last year during this time period, i told myself that i had to learn from past mistakes and start earlier this year, but due to the big P problem, even though i did start a month ago, im still way behind time... haiz...

i also need to pack up my room for the new year. sianz... really, what can be more putting off than tidying up your room? okay, if your room was something like those picture-perfect ones you see on tv, indeed, there would be nothing to pack and you only need to just freshen things up a bit. however, if you still keep your primary school textbooks, along with your pile of 8 years worth of study notes and another 5 years amount of magazines, packing up can be a herculean task. my mother wants me to throw away my primary and secondary school stuff and all those mags, but thinking how much money id spend on those really dampens my heart to throw them away. even notes dont come in cheap okay! and all my effort listening to lectures, copying notes, they are all my hard work! how can i bear to throw them away?! then again, looking around my room, 1 clothes cupboard, 1 large book cupboard, my computer table, my desk which the table surface cant be seen due to all the books, cds, radio, stuff, are all piled high on it, 1 plastic cupboard containing odd shaped ornaments which cant fit anywhere else, 1 standing fan, 1 plastic kids table which the table surface also cant be seen due to even more odd shaped ornaments, 2 movable desk chairs piled high with a years worth of mags, 1 bed, 1 leisure mattress id just got from my grandmother, 1 clothes stand, 3 plastic big boxes of notes and textbooks, 1 paper box of even more notes, basically, now you cant even tell if the colour of my room floor much less walk in my room... haiz... i need a professional packer to help out in my room if i want my mother to be happy with my room... haiz...

on a happier note, wubai has released a new album, leiqiao!!! i really admire wubai! he is talented, composing songs, penning lyrics, making music, producing albums, doing shows. not only can he write songs for himself, he can write for other artistes, even tailor make songs for them. not just any ah mao ah kow would want his songs, but big names such as andy lau, jacky cheung, faye wong and such have obtained songs from him! the direction of this leiqiao album is slightly different from the feelings of his previous albums, playing down on the noisy bits of rock music, but still retaining his signature wubai style of music. rapport between him and his band, china blue, is also as strong as ever and in a couple of songs, their background vocals adds a wholesome sound feeling. lyrics wise, wubai is still so tragic and beautiful.

i mean, to pens words like “sweet images/ are shed like leaves and petals/ from now on my life/ have become dust”, “i have no head/ but i have blood/ no eyes/ but have tears/ no mouth/ but have words to say/... my blood is flowing on the ground/ my body is thrown into the sea/... i have no head/ and no body/ no eyes/ and it doesnt matter/ a gust of wind/ through my clothes...” all comparable to his “in my life, there was never you” kind of acute sadness...

i sincerely hope that wubai and china blue can make another trip down singapore to promote their new album.

Saturday, December 13, 2003

im so totally pissed off with someone! let that person be a generic T to keep that persons gender and identity remain anonymous to prevent embarrassment...

as all my dear friends know, i really treasure all of them and i do want to remain in contact with each and every one. even though we may not be as close as before, i really keep all my dear friends close in my heart. this holiday, i tried my best to meet up with all my friends i havent met for a long long time. first there was huijing i met up with to buy her prom dress, then there was huising, both of them i havent met in more than a year. and i will be meeting up with lirong, an extremely close friends in my early secondary school life, but slowly turned distant over the years...

then, these couple of days, i tried to call up that certain T to arrange a time and venue for catching up, but to my absolute disgust, i found myself hearing endless pathetic excuses for not meeting out. that was still not that bad. the worse was when i continued to call on other occasions, i found myself calling to a phone which receives no response and when there is finally some response from family members, i hear more weird excuses why my dear friend is unavailable to the telephone, always after i left my name with them. and when i left my name and contact number with the family members, yes, there is no return call! am i so not pissed?! if this goes on, well, T, i would think that you do not want to be my friend anymore. it pains me to write this as i always treasure all my friends...

okay, maybe my dear T really has something on, and i should be more understanding, i sincerely hope that we are still friends. at least call me to chat.

really, sometimes our world can be filled with many regrets, about people, about love, about opportunities, and about life... when was the last time you wanted to buy something but decided to put it on hold to come back to find out that it has been cleared off? when was the last time you wanted to say something to a friend but put it off to come back and find out that you have lost contact with the person? i always treasure my friends because of this very regretting event that happened when i transferred schools back when i was 10. i never said goodbye to my friends. i even had the opportunity which i wasted when i was invited to one of my best friend then birthday cum housewarming party, i was supposed to get from her her new telephone number, but i didnt. my other close friends back at that time have also moved house, and the rest of them, i dont have any of their contact numbers... sad... i really missed them...

ng shihui, elaine wong, christopher see, derrick kong, back from 3ff nanhua primary school class of 1994. if anyone happen to know them, pls contact me! thanks... i mean singapore is so small, only about 4 million, finding 4 people, the odds is about one in a million (?!)(pun not intended)... umm... okay, seeing the statistics, i must admit, it doesnt seem very encouraging. i will have to strike top prize in 4D 1 1/100times first because the odds for 4D is one in 10 000 which is 1 1/100 times less than the one in 1 000 000 odds... umm... not sure if my maths is right, but this will have to do...

anyway, i have a great deal to introduce to everyone out there. promotion at bodyshop, for every makeup item purchased, you can get a lip item absolutely free! the best part of this deal is that the makeup items are not really all that expensive and the lip items are not really all that cheap. i bought a concealer at $16.90 to receive a lip colour + liner worth $20.90 free! i dont know if the offer is extended to all bodyshop stores, but just to let you know, it was indeed so at the suntec city store.

shopaholics out there, namely jas and shuhui, i will keep you informed of great offers out there and do remember out task of shopping down the mrt line! btw, my aunt passed me an esprit privilege card, so... heehee...

Thursday, December 11, 2003

ive added a couple more quotes up by the side. the quotes are all taken from ashes of time, a controversial stereotypical wong kar wai period full length major motion picture. this movie received wide ranging reviews from critics all over the world, either saying this movie is totally nonsensical or saying that this movie is so thought provoking and can be regarded as an all time classic of art house flicks.

the movie starring a-listers such as tong leung chiu wai, tony leung kar fai, jacky cheung, maggie cheung, leslie cheung, carina lau, joey yeung, and lin ching-hsia (note: there is no other actors or actresses involved in the show other than the above mentioned), has a basic storyline that depicts the tale of all of the sadness of all the different characters. other than that, i honestly have to say that i dont understand what else is going on in the movie. its amazing how a single director with less than five movies to his name at that point in time can command all the above mentioned stars to come together.

anyway, back to my main point, the quotes. the script is written by wong kar wai, which makes those quotes written by him. from circumstances of my personal life, i really agree with many of his lines, especially those quotes by the side. frinds who know me should understand what i mean... ive always wanted to forget this one person, i told myself not to think of him, but he never left my mind, instead i found myself increasingly missing him... i long for one day when i could be relieved from these memories and images of the past and look forward to a fresh new future but i guess that wont come so soon...

ashes of time, a film from 1994 venice film festival, its vcd can be found from joan ang own personal vcd collection, bought at $6 from the heeren shops hmv on sale when one of the lead actors died (you know who...), so interested parties of wanting to expand their thinking on such issues can either borrow it from me of check if hmv still stocks it...

another thought provoking movie i watched and would like to share is battle royale, a japanese, manga inspired, violent and disturbing movie. it was shown in singapore a few years back under an ra rating due to its over disturbing violent content. i dont think you can get it on vcd dvd original or pirated in singapore. i managed to watch it from a friend who downloaded it before the closure of a particular file sharing website, so interested parties can visit peiyi...

battle royale, a class of 15 year olds are abandoned on a deserted island where they are given weapons to kill off one another and the last alive would then be able to return back to civilisation. when faced with this sort of circumstance, some friendships crumble while some manage to remain strong as ever. people also react differently to problems, some evade it, some attempt to overcome it, some tackled the problem from its very root.

i was asking zihui if faced with such a situation, would she kill a friend she was once so close with, she didnt know. neither do i. ponder over it, in a time of crisis, how much do you actually trust the friends around you and do your friends trust you the same way...

battle royale is said to be inspired by lord of the flies, but personally, i think that battle royale is more direct, more brutal, examines the foundation of friendship more explicitly as there is no real need for the boys in lord of the flies to kill off one another and there was no guarantee of them successfully returning to civilisation. they were also not given dangerous weapons and were also not exposed to violence that stressed them out and pressurised them to kill. battle royale (the movie) is based totally on battle royale (the comic) and the movie is also rewritten into a novel form.

if interested in battle royale, the comic, i have not found the chinese or japanese version around singapore, so if you know, please let me know. instead, theres a US english translated version of the original japanese manga being sold in some places in singapore like takashimaya kinokuniya and the comic shop opposite bugis kino. it is out to the third book now and costs $20 per piece because it is US imported, so the price cannot be compared to your usual taiwan published comics. ya, and i do not own any of them due to the fact that i have a not very well endowed wallet... sad...

Monday, December 01, 2003

ive got a tan, although it is not a very nice one. at this very moment, my skin is peeling from the sun burns, and it itches terribly. maybe i should get a proper sun tan lotion or something like that, then again, a lazy person like me most likely would not have the determination to maintain the tan even though i have a swimming pool downstairs... haiz...

i bought a digital camera. okay, i didnt really buy it, i shared with my father... its a canon powershot a80, 4.0 megapix with a rotatable screen, powered my 4 aa batts which can last quite a long time, definitely better than the ixus rechargable batt kind... well, im not the tech savvy kind of person, so if anyone out there is interested in that kind of digital cam and wants to know more about it can contact me, that is if you have yet heard me brag about my new camera... *giggles*

the girls came over my place to model their dresses that they are going to wear for prom. id want to describe their dresses, but i dont think its very nice since its their dress, so let them describe it themselves, or id describe them and their whole look after the prom. hopefully, by then id have learn how to upload pix onto my blog and i can upload the whole lot of my prom pix! anyone wants to teach an idiot how to upload pix onto the blog?

i went back to dunman high and met up with a whole lot of people from my cca then. meeting my juniors, i realised that ive grown old... the sec2s from my time is like the graduating batch now! just think about it, in a 3 months time id be 19 which is like almost 20 which is like so old! argh!!!

eunices mother passed away. after learning about this and reflecting upon it at home, i really must be thankful of my family. id always taken all 4 of my grandparents for granted, not to mention my parents, so i must be thankful! i resoluted to myself that i will try to visit my grandparents as often as i can make it and i would try not to lose my temper to my parents and my sis no matter how irritating (okay, maybe i shouldnt use that word, how about chatty?) they are, especially my sis.

there was another 4b outing. this time we went to the airport. we met at the mrt station and surprisingly the staff there didnt mind us sitting around and chatting. then we went to swensons for dinner. the staff there was damn polite and patient even though we took like 20 min to finally confirm our order, he didnt get irritated, singapore should have more of these sort of people in the service industry. after dinner, we found a corner at the airport and sat down and chat. its quite sad only 12 people went to this outing, it seems like the class population is dwindling...

i bought a bag for prom. id wanted to use my mum’s silver bag, but i couldnt fit the camera in, so i bought a nicely sized bag to put all my stuff in. its a white glossy pvc bag with a buckled small pocket at the front, about 25cm in length, round sides thats about 7cm in diameter and is hand held. its $29 after discount from topshop, if interested, you know where to get a bag like that. my only problem after buying the bag is that id be totally in whit for my prom except for my shoes which is silver. would the shoes look out of place? haiz...

things id have to somehow or another find time to do: make my choker and arm bands, like by tomorrow!!! but im still deciding if my ribbon should be two-winged or four-winged... and i need to finish writing my christmas cards. ive written only one out of the 50+ im preparing to send! and ive not finish buying enough christmas cards, only 20, one box! this year im really way wayyy behind schedule... im blaming the loss of my electronic organiser for all the addresses, but using my pathetic brain, i know the main reason for my not keeping up with schedule is only due to one word. procrastination. the biggest evil of the modern world...

guess i should continue with the cards now, do the choker tomorrow morning while watching my video of last friday tv programmes, then go over eunices place, continue with the cards when i reach home, do my nails at night, sleep early for the big prom the next day, then buy more cards after the prom, continue writing the cards, send them out by the 17, get a job, and most most importantly, not let the big BIG P-word get any way!!! watch out for further entries to find out the failures of joan angs determination, or rather, the lack of it...

die xxoos der joan

xxoos otherwise known as jal4eva, or more commonly to her friends Joan Ang. xxoos is always in small casings as it means kisses and hugs, or what she'd like it to mean, hugs and kisses and a tongue. die xxoos der joan just means the hugs and kisses of joan.