Tag Archives: meat

Oddly enough I have written about both bacon and condoms in a single post before. I suppose no one who reads this blog finds that odd, actually.

Does a post like this really need any commentary? Doesn’t the actual existence of bacon flavored condoms speak for itself.

Not on your life.

Ok, the tagline… ‘make your meat, look like meat’. The second part in bold, no less. Um yeh, we get it.

Lame.

I would prefer something along the lines of – ‘because you’re smokin’. Or maybe something as simple as ‘the meat lover’s protection’. Or something corny like ‘because you never know who you might meat’ Or maybe, ‘because you can never get enough protien’

And the snipe on the top left of the box ‘it never look so good, it never tasted better’. You know… IT. Like “he took IT out” – Elaine Bennis.

But the tagline and the snipe are not the big winners on this baby. Oh no. What really puts this product over the top is that unbelievable line ‘lubricated with baconlube’. Do you think this is authentic?

Today was Gary’s birthday, and I am a total loser that I did not capitalize on it and do some little heartfelt birthday thing for Time to Cry Tuesday so everyone could send him their good wishes. Please feel free to jump out of the lurking mode and send him a shout out a day late.

For his big day we let him pick the restaurant. This guy, who is the picture of low-fat eating 364 days a year, jumped out of the box and craved a good old- fashioned, testosterone boosting slab of meat.

We walked into the steak joint and quickly noticed that my girlfriend and I were amongst maybe 6 women in the entire restaurant. Tuesday night in the land of steak was all men. Table after table of guys chewing the fat, seated around overloaded plates of meat, meat, meat. Kind of an odd scene for me. It almost took on the feeling of some old time movie.

Like this:

One of the advantages of spending hundreds of hours in front of a computer screen is the access to all sorts of ridiculous items. It is hard not to be entertained even during some of my more stressful days. (today was surely one of them).

I mentioned this one at the beginning of my post yesterday but I felt it needed more commentary. It was originally brought to my attention on Twitter by my fellow SV mom blogger and tech guru, mom extraordinairre, the fabulous Beth of techmamas. She found this article on Techcrunch.

Burger King has either lost their minds or struck genius with their beef scented cologne called Flame. My personal opinion is the latter. This is brilliant and fun. They have the most hysterical site with Barry White style music, candles on a bathtub and all. “The Whopper® Sandwich is America’s Favorite Burger. Flame™ by BK captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame broiled meat.” OMG, that last line kills me.

It is sold exclusively at Ricky’s for $3.99 – nice price point. And it is sold out or many of you would be receiving this from me as a gift. (especially my brother and brother-in law, the vegetarians)

Seems meat is on the brain this week. This one comes from my BBFF Liz over at Flashfree. She tweeted about these Maple-Bacon Lollipops this morning. I am so sorry but the thought of these made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. The men in my house eat Slim Jims, that is bad enough, but a bacon sucker. Jana would run from the house screaming from this one for sure.

This last one comes from my friend Joyce. She swears she was not searching for anything in particular when she stumbled upon the Condometric. Yes, folks, this is a condom with ruler markings. How about this for a selling point ” Condometric is the first prophylactic that measures and shows off the penis’ length. It helps flaunt what we’ve got.” Oh and they come in 4 great flavors: Natural Power, Cherry Rider, Katana Lima and Papito Banana.