Friday, February 27, 2009

Tact? As in tactical armor, right?

The funny thing is, she missed the obvious one: respond to queries. As far as I'm concerned that should be number one. All that other stuff might make querying easier, but not getting a response makes writers crazy.

As for "tell us who reads our work": Assume someone else is reading your work. Just assume it. I read all my own queries, but I also solicit opinions from other people in my office. Yes that includes our cadre of invaluable interns. I am not putting that on my website or in my guidelines because it varies from day to day, project by project. If you let this kind of thing bother you, you're in for a world of hurt. Lots of unknown people will be reading your work at every stage of the game. Get used to it now.

If you're going to have a problem with interns reading your work, are you really ready to have it read by an entire planet of hyper-critical readers? Anyway, I think it's good to keep writers in a state of high agitation. Otherwise they get comfortable and their writing gets all disgustingly happy. :)

Tara, my fam will give you the, "this sucks, what were you thinking" feedback, but I agree, most wont. ;)

I don't really agree with her. Okay, when I get an agent, yes, I want them to work with me. That should be a given. But would I expect perfection? No. Why? Because I'm far from perfect.

I assume that most agents won't even read my query. Not unless said intern loves it. So I figure that in many instances, the intern will also read my ms and say whether the agent should take the time to read it too.

Isn't this stuff a given?

And if I don't get honesty from an agent, I wouldn't want to work with them. I'd expect someone to tell me when something is good and works, but also when something just doesn't.

And part of the deal is learning to promote yourself. If you're too scared to speak in pubic, maybe a good idea would be to take a public speaking class. They often help you build the confidence needed. Just a thought.

Personally I really appreciate your blog. I think the advice that you give is great, and I like the insights I've gained into the publishing world. I don't think I'll be querying you, but that's because we aren't a good match. I've read your submission guidelines and my genre is one that you don't want.

I will say, personally, I agree with the need for a web presence. Whether it's rational or not, I find myself wondering how much of a grasp an agent has on modern technology if there is no web site. I also really like getting a feel for what the agent likes and expects - something that is easier to get from a web site than from an entry in Writer's Market.

I agree with you about the response to queries. I don't need anything fancy, or even personal. I just want to know that my query was received, reviewed, and decided upon.

Give me a break. Most of her bullet points are what I would expect from a business relationship. Janet--I love your blog, and the much missed Miss Snark, because neither of you would put up with crap. I'll take honesty over blowing smoke up my a$$ any day. If I want that then I'll have my mom/hubby/friends read my writing. And yes, my pet peeve is the lazy agent who can't even be bothered to generate a standard 'no thanks' to a query.

Oh, well ... it's true, some agents are rude. I have a list. And it's true that rejections are icky. I hate rejections. And it's true that submitting can be stressful.

But things are as they are.

My biggest complaints center on two things. Top of the list is failing to reply. That, my dears, is bad behavior. The second thing is rudeness. I don't respond well to it.

Right now, I'm a small time author, published but only in a small way. But, I'm a very good writer. (Hey, if I don't say so, who will?) So this may not always be the case. I won't burn bridges, but I will remember it if you are rude to me.

I wasn't kidding about my "list." It's just a mental note, not an actual list. Those who made their way onto it did so by being rude, nasty, self-important or a Bankity-blank Liar. This includes a few names you might recognize.

Reject me if you must. I understand business realities. But do not use my query as the basis for your blog post and lie about it. And do not do it at all without asking me first. Do not make personal comments. Understand that typos get past even the best editor. Understand that a real person is on the other side of that query. Understand that as well-known as you may be in your field, the person querying may be smarter than you are, prettier than you are, and possess a long memory.

Agents and editors gossip? So do writers. You pass along information about us; we do the same but about you. We're clueless? Often. You're rude. Some of you are. Rudeness isn’t what Janet does. That’s teaching.

A form rejection letter is part of life, including life beyond writing. A bad tone in a rejection letter is unwise. Have someone else, not an agent, look at it. Heck, post it on your blog, let your blog readers tell you.

There are really nice people agenting. I have a list of those too, and most of them have rejected me. (Insert giggle here.) But they did it nicely. Just suggesting that you're really nice doesn't mean you are. You make that suggestion about yourself, and it's probably not true at all. But your friends like you? I’m not your friend. I’m a potential business associate, and I’m not obligated to see you as your friends do. Besides, your friends are probably lying to you.

The concern about additional, unknown readers was counterintuitive to me. I figure that even the most brilliant manuscript will appeal to some people and not to others. The more pairs of eyes look at a work, the more likely that at least one person will be hooked and will advocate for that work within the agency/publishing house. I say: Pass it around, please!

I agree fully with you. Back in the day ... when I was collecting rejection slips ... one of my favorites came from Baen. The editor send me their readers comments. They were so nice! Unfotunately, they ended with "not really Baen material."

Who cares that he didn't read it himself. He passed the comments on, and those comments kept me submitting and writing.

Is it just me, or is the advice:[Do have a website, however minimal. If you don’t have one, we will be forced to google you and glean information from random sources.]appearing directly beside a cover of a Writer's Market book the height of irony?

(Agents, take note: If you put up a minimal web site with wonderful lies about you, potential clients will not bother to corroborate that information through independent sources.)

Still, the post does bring to mind the words of W.S. Gilbert, which isn't all bad...

As some day it may happenthat a victim must be found,I've got a little list,I've got a little list,of society offenderswho might well be underground,and who never would be missed,who never would be missed.

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I'm a literary agent in NYC. I specialize in crime fiction and narrative non-fiction (history and biography.) I'll be glad to receive a query letter from you; guidelines to help you decide if I'm looking for what you write are below.
There are several posts labelled "query pitfalls" and "annoy me" that may help you avoid some common mistakes when querying.