The Deaths at Home

The military tracks suicides among the troops. The Department of Veterans Affairs studies self-inflicted deaths among those who have left the service. Nobody collects data on suicides among the mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers of the 6,500 Americans killed in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Updated Dec. 21, 2012 9:55 a.m. ET

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Cpl. Steven Koch was killed by a suicide bomber in Afghanistan in 2008. Two years later, his sister, Lynne Koch, brokenhearted over her brother's death, killed herself with an overdose of prescription drugs.
Koch Family…

From left, school photos of Lynne, Billy and Steven Koch. Lynne had a history of suicidal thoughts and wrestled with mental-health problems, including bipolar disorder, according to medical records. She saw a therapist while a teenager, her mother said, but recovered her cheerfulness when she went to college.
Koch Family…

Christine, left, and William Koch watched as the casket of their son Steven was placed in a hearse in Milltown, N.J., in 2008. For more than a year after Cpl. Koch's death, Lynne, right, sought refuge in the fantasy that Steven was alive in Afghanistan.
Mark Sullivan/Home News Tribune…

Mrs. Koch pointed to one of the blankets sent by sympathizers after Cpl. Koch was killed.
Michael Rubenstein for The Wall Street Journal…

William Koch held his son's military identification.
Michael Rubenstein for The Wall Street Journal…

Mrs. Koch knelt at a memorial for Cpl. Koch that the family erected at his elementary school, Our Lady of Lourdes in Milltown, N.J. Lynne spoke at the memorial's dedication before she died. 'When once a sunrise meant so many new beginnings, it now rises to merely blossom what's left of the flowers at the ending of a season,' Lynne said. 'I find no glory in this sunrise, no comfort. I find no hope in this new day. My brother is gone.'
Michael Rubenstein for The Wall Street Journal…

Mrs. Koch finds that she cannot stand to see her daughter's name on the marker at her grave, shown. She avoids looking at it when she visits.
Michael Rubenstein for The Wall Street Journal…

Mrs. Koch cries on her husband's shoulder during a visit to their daughter's grave.
Michael Rubenstein for The Wall Street Journal…

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Lance Cpl. Alex Arredondo was killed in Najaf, Iraq, in 2004. When his father, Carlos Arredondo, received the news, he set himself on fire. He survived, though he suffered burns on a quarter of his body. Alex's death hit his brother Brian hard. In 2011, Brian hanged himself.
Arredondo Family…

Carlos Arredondo placed a candle next to a cardboard tombstone for his son Alex at a remembrance ceremony and protest in Miami in 2007. Both Mr. Arredondo and his wife, Melida Arredondo, were hospitalized in 2010 for what Ms. Arredondo called 'rampant depression.'
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Sgt. Michael Vaughan was killed in a suicide attack in Iraq in 2007. His parents, who met in the Army, signed the papers when Michael begged them to let him enlist at age 17.
George Vaughan…

George Vaughan tended his son's grave in Oregon. He is fully disabled from his service in the first Gulf War. His wife, Debra, was in Army intelligence and then worked at the post office in Lincoln City, Ore. Michael's death 'just crushed Debra,' said Mr. Vaughan.
George Vaughan…

After an event honoring veterans in 2008, Mrs. Vaughan, shown here with Michael, went to the cemetery where her son was buried, where her husband reached her on her cell. 'George, I love you,' she said. 'If I'm unsuccessful, I don't want life support.' Then George Vaughan heard the gunshot.
George Vaughan…

George Vaughan, in his old Army uniform, attended his wife's funeral in 2008. With him from left are his mother, Loretta Vaughan, his niece Shari Whiteaker, and his niece Jessica Vaughan.
Q Madp…

After PFC Jimmy Coon was killed in Iraq in 2007, his stepmother, Marie Coon, left, couldn't forgive herself for failing to talk him out of joining the Army, family members said. 'She thought it was her fault that he got killed,' said her husband, James Coon, right.
Deanne Fitzmaurice/San Francisco Chronicle/Corbis…

A symbolic grave marker for Marie Coon sat next to a cross for her stepson at a memorial park in Lafayette, Calif.
Ko Blix…

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Maj. Sid Brookshire, here with his wife Karen at a Ranger training camp in the 1990s, died in a bomb attack in Iraq in 2007.
Jo Beth Brookshire…

A photo of Maj. Brookshire was displayed at his mother's apartment in Long Beach, Calif. Jo Beth Brookshire suffered from depression even before her son died.
Dan Krauss for The Wall Street Journal…

Soon after Maj. Brookshire was killed, Ms. Brookshire guzzled vodka, swallowed a bottle of Excedrin PM and walked into the ocean. The surf beat her back to shore and passersby pulled her to safety. She survived two more attempts over the following years.
Dan Krauss for The Wall Street Journal…

'I had a hard, hard time with life after Sid died,' Ms. Brookshire said. 'I've never loved anybody like I loved Sid.' Here, Ms. Brookshire with her then-husband, James Brookshire, and Sid, age 2, in Costa Mesa, Calif., in 1972.
Jo Beth Brookshire…

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Pvt. Heath Warner was killed by a bomb in Iraq on Nov. 22, 2006. After Heath's death, his father, Scott Warner, would come home from work, go to his bedroom and mix booze and pills. In 2010, Mr. Warner took a handful of drugs and washed it down with gin.
Warner Family…

Mr. Warner survived the night, and awoke to a gradual realization that his son would have wanted him to live. Here, from left, Mr. Warner, his wife, Melissa, and sons Chandler and Ashton.
Warner Family…