deprivation

How to Dom with Light Bondage

Restraints

Sensual Deprivation

Discipline

Safety

Restraints

Restraints are rope, cuffs, etc. Start with something you can easily work with, safely. You want your submissive to be able to get out of the bondage quickly if things suddenly become too intense. Also, you don’t want to start out making a lot of fancy knots then discover you can’t get them all undone again. Any restraint used must be tested before you start using it as bondage.

Restraints don’t have to be physical. Mental bondage is a lovely thing and great for beginners. You have the power to control your submissive – knowing his bondage is not enforced by anything but his own decision to obey. There is more power in a submissive obedient by choice rather than ropes, chains, leather, etc.

Sensual Deprivation

Sensual deprivation is an element of bondage. Blindfolds are less complicated than some methods which include a full hood over the head. Also, a blindfold is simple for beginners to use and experiment with. Don’t take away more than one of the five senses at a time (for a beginner in bondage). Keep it fun rather than making them go from nervous and uncertain to actually being afraid.

Think of sensual deprivation as the element of surprise. Use it to tease and give your submissive less control. Build suspense and anticipation. While using a blindfold, narrate everything you are doing or plan to do. While they are in restraints you have taken away their ability to use their hands. A blindfold limits what they can see so they strain a little to use the senses they have left. Make sure you use as many senses as you can when you deprive them of one, or more.

Discipline

Discipline includes spanking but is not limited to just that. Discipline can be a punishment. Discipline can be a set of rules or standards to be kept by the submissive. There is a lot you can do with discipline as mental and physical bondage.

You may have heard of domestic discipline. Spanking is usually included with this. The submissive is treated like a child or dog being trained. They are expected to perform tasks, mainly house cleaning. They may be expected to wear aprons.

The Gor books by John Norman inspired another branch of kinkiness which follows a strict discipline and set or orders. Lesser known are the books by Sharon Green who wrote a female Dom series set on other planets involving men and women being taken from Earth. I especially like her books myself.

Safety

Safety matters. I’m not making it first on my list but it should always be part of your considerations and planning. Anything you bring into play during your bondage should be tested out and practiced with. You don’t want to struggle with toys, tools or feel incompetent in the heat of the moment when you are both wound up.

Safety includes some time afterwards, to wind down, get feedback and care for your submissive: aftercare. Don’t skip aftercare. This time is good for the submissive to feel cared for, literally. The Dom also needs this time to wind down, release emotions and reconnect with their partner.

What can you use from porn to your own BDSM pleasure with your sub missive man?

Talk to the Camera

Talk about what you’re doing, before and during the time you are doing it. Announce your intentions, but take your time actually doing anything. Anticipation works wonders. Work with sensory deprivation, like a blindfold, to add drama and suspense.

Get into Costume

Dress for it. I don’t mean the standard fetish wear but dress up. Pick something you feel sexy wearing. Tight jeans, reveal a lot of cleavage, silky lingerie, you know what makes you feel good. When you feel sexy you will enjoy everything more and so will he.

Love what you’re Doing

Act like you’re enjoying it. If you aren’t actually enjoying what you are doing then change what you are doing, or how you are doing it. Your sub man wants to feel you want him and sex with him. Even if you won’t be having sex (due to chastity for instance) make him feel wanted.

A friend sent me to look at something else on Extreme Restraints. The stockades. Afterwards I looked around and found this listed with the new products. I sent him the link along with this note:

This would be interesting. Without the enhancers inside the sheath for the male. I think this would be like putting his cock in a cast where he could feel nothing. He could see everything I do, watch me stroke him but he would actually feel none of it. A little sensory deprivation.