It’s sometimes easy to forget that the absurdly rich and famous aren’t immune to pain and loss and regret. Diddy reminded us of this with a candid video on the 20th anniversary of Biggie’s death last year, and in a new interview with GQ, he reveals that he still hasn’t fully unpacked the guilt associated with the night the rapper died—March 9, 1997.

To recap, Diddy was riding in the car in front of Biggie when he was shot on a busy Los Angeles street. They weren’t even supposed to be in L.A. that night—the plan was to catch a flight to London, which Diddy unsuccessfully tried to talk Biggie into doing. He’s grappled with the guilt of breaking Big, and how that on its own indirectly contributed to his death. Writer John Jeremiah Sullivan asks if he’s tried to address any of this in therapy:

I asked if he talked to a therapist about this stuff. “Nah,” Love said, “I haven’t dealt with any of that yet. I try to get into it, but...that’s something that just hurts so bad. That’s a time that’s still suppressed.”

It’s a serious profile, for the most part, with fun interjections about rolling up late to a taping of the Ellen DeGeneres Show and a look at his extensive workout regiment. Diddy, who goes by his new name Love throughout the entirety of the story, also reveals his plans to launch an app that identifies the black-owned and black-friendly business in a given city. It’s to further along ideas of black economic mobility that he and Jay-Z have been discussing on a community level:

“This is not about taking away from any other community,” he said. “We’ll still go to Chinatown. We’ll still buy Gucci!” He laughed. “But the application will make it possible for us to have an economic community. It’s about blacks gaining economic power.”

Sullivan also talks to the Combs sons, Justin and Christian, about their plans to carry on the legacy once their father’s ready for retirement. Justin wants to take over Bad Boy Records and Christian’s already embarking on a rap career as King Combs by dropping a Chris Brown-featuring single (blah) soon after the GQ interview took place.

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The shoes can’t get much bigger, but the Love legacy seems like it’s in mostly good hands.