When Opposites Attract

Girl really likes boy’s cowboy boots. YEAH, baby! The boy living on a farm and raising cows and pigs as a hobby. The boy with the old gray Ford Pickup. “Now that’s a hottie!”, she thinks to herself.

Boy is really attracted to the girl from Philly. Maybe it’s her blue eyes. Maybe it’s her smile. I’ll never know exactly what sparked his attention. I’m pretty sure it was the whole package. *wink*

This girl grew up in Philly. Born and raised. She hadn’t even ever had a pet. Well, unless a hamster counts. And she certainly didn’t know the difference between a bull, cow and steer. But she really likes those cowboy boots…

Isn’t it sort of strange to think back and remembered what attracted you to your spouse in the first place?

For you…was it those gorgeous eyes? Or the mutual love of a certain sport or a hobby? Was it her humor and the ability to always make you smile?

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Maybe it was how he made you feel special. As if you were the only one who existed in those moments when he looked into your eyes?

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Maybe it was the fact that you both experienced something tragic and this person actually got you. Got how you were feeling.

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Maybe it started as friendship that blossomed into something you never expected.

Regardless of the reason, we all have something that moves and draws us to choose that special person we want to spend the rest of our life with.

But somewhere along the way you begin to question….to doubt… What did I ever even love about him?

Her love of shopping makes me want to cut up the credit cards. Her driving puts me through the roof!

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Over time we all start figuring out the things that don’t make us so lovey-dovey. As a matter of fact they’re so far from lovey-dovey that we fight about it all the time. And if this issue comes up just one more time this week I just might be DONE!

We all face a time we come to the realization that our certain special someone isn’t the PERFECT match. But not one of us was created perfect. And I realize that certain things that I absolutely adore my husband despises.

For example:

* I love mornings. He abhors them. *

* I love to exercise. His job is considered a workout. *

* I love to be out and about. He’s a home body. *

* I love to shoot pictures. He likes to shoot (other things). *

* I look for the people to converse with. He looks for the door.*

It’s not long until you start realizing all of these things that you differ in. And some of it can really make you bonkers.

But you can let it make you or break you. Make your marriage better or make your marriage break down.

Here’s some examples:

* I get really annoyed at times when he doesn’t want to ‘do’ anything. He doesn’t want to go anywhere. He doesn’t want to have any one over.

BUT if I had it my way maybe we would be overly busy and stressed out because you can’t do EVERYTHING fun. Sometimes you simply need to be and relax. Especially as a couple. You need time at home. Just doing life together. Enjoying fun. Watching a show. Cooking outside and enjoying the deck view. Whatever it is that relaxes you.

* I get really annoyed at times that he always wants to sleep in. He doesn’t ever want to get up early and enjoy the day.

BUT if he always got up early maybe I wouldn’t enjoy the mornings as much. It’s my time to get up read my bible, sip some coffee, pray and exercise. It’s what fuels me for the day. Most likely I wouldn’t enjoy it as much if I had to share it with someone else. It’s my “ME” time.

* I get really annoyed at times that he doesn’t like to spend a lot of money. BUT because of his frugality and watching the dime we’re able to go on a nice vacation every year and drive good running cars. It’s because he’s careful with our money that enables us to do these things.

I know I’m still living this out day by day, month by month. But have you ever taken the time to think about what you normally consider as his worst attributes and what blessing may be lying underneath? Usually there’s something. Even if you have to peel back layers to find it.

Another big life saver is to find things you both love. For us it’s the beach. We both love the beach. So we make it a point to go every year and just enjoy each other and our family.

Think about some things you do enjoy doing together and go make it happen!

I’m so thankful God never gives up on me. There’s always room to grow. And marriage is for his glory. So let’s make HIM shine bright in these uncertain times.

Comments

Just like Chris and me! Hahaha… sometimes I wonder what keeps us together. I work in medicine: he is grossed out when I talk about work. I love to exercise: he… just doesn’t. I am a reader: he’d rather watch the movie. He gets up super early to work on his blog: I need my sleep (hey I work late and I run a lot, I get tired lol.) When I tell people that he’s a music teacher they assume I work at his school or something. I say, no, we use opposite sides of our brains: he’s the musician, photographer, food blogger/cook. He has his hobbies and I have mine. We have a mutual love for Jesus, NYC, and helping/serving others. We met through friends at church and our first date was in NYC. I knew by the end of that night that he was going to be my husband. We volunteer together doing our church’s middle school youth group and we both run community groups in our home. We love to entertain and host parties in our house and enjoy fellowship with friends over good food: sharing plates and laughs all night. His quiet time is in the morning before I get up, mine is on my runs and random days off with my weird schedule. I don’t believe you need to be in love with someone just like you. We share common interests and talk about what we do on our own. Glad I’m not the only one married to my opposite 🙂

Asheley, thanks so much for stopping by. It’s so cool to hear how you met and your interests with and without one another. Some days it’s cool to be married to an opposite. Other days not so much. But I just try to enjoy it every step of the way. 🙂

I love this, Melanie! When my husband was on a long business trip on the otherside of the world this spring, I realized that I missed so much so many of the things that normally drive me crazy! Such an eye-opener and a reminder of how much I love him for who he is! Thanks for the reminder today.

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