Guys - you have never let me down before...jokes needed

The village Vicar is doing his rounds and pops into to see Farmer Giles.

As he is having a nice chat and a cup of tea in the farmhouse he notices a pig with a wooden leg wandering round. He asks the farmer "Why has that pig got a wooden leg?"

Farmer Giles goes misty eyed and exclaims "Let me tell you about that pig, Vicar! Last week my hay loft was on fire and my two youngest children were trapped inside. That pig, that pig there! Well he went into the barn and dragged the children out by there shirt collars."

"My word" exclaimed the Vicar. "But what about the wooden leg?"
"Well Vicar, I couldn't eat a pig like that all at once!"

An Englishman a Welshman and Pakistani man all arrive at the hospital to collect their new babies.
"I'm really sorry" said the doctor "but there has been a terrible mix-up and we don't know who's baby is who's"
So they decide to draw lots to see who gets first choice of baby. The Englishman wins and goes in to choose his baby, emerging with one which is clearly the Pakistani man's baby, so the Pakistani man challenges him about this.
"I know" says the Englishman "but I'm not taking any chances. One of those two is Welsh"