THE THOUGHTS OF UNCLE AL
(C)1997 Alan M. Schwartz
Mediocrity is a vice of the doomed.
The existential root of Liberty is the capacity to be very bad
at taking orders from morons.
What did posterity ever do for me?
How does an epistemologist know what he knows? (...and don't
go asking an ontologist, either.)
The meek shall inherit the Earth
0) fooled ya!
1) but not its mineral rights.
2) but they can go sing for Air, Fire, and Water.
3) in their dreams.
4) when the their masters are finished with it.
5) the strong shall inherit the stars.
6) when their rip cords seize.
7) six feet by three feet by six feet deep.
8) in a multi-level marketing seminar.
9) and buy Pick-6 Lottery tickets with it.
10) when it is designated a Superfund site.
11) and pay taxes on anything over $600K.
12) but it will never get out of probate.
13) and their lawyers get 30% contingency.
14) to everybody's disgust.
The nature of physical reality is not heir to political
manipulation.
Facts do not cease to exist for being ignored.
Political correctness is the subjugation of objective
observation by Left Wing political canon.
Ignorance can be temporary. Stupidity is forever.
The difference between racists and Liberals is that racists do
not demand Federal subsidy of their personal indignations.
Stupidity >should< be lethal.
Greed is good. Greed is right. Greed works. A little bit of
greed will get you a whole lot of stuff.
He who dies with the most toys had the best ride.
Environmentalism is philosophy and dialectic in opposition to
progress in its every form. See: Luddite.
The only sane place is behind the trigger.
Religion is a scam performed by the rapacious and the
avaricious upon the backs of the clueless:
1) That which endorses religion supports it.
2) That which ignores religion supports it.
3) That which refutes religion supports it - test of faith.
4) Anybody who criticizes is obviously unfit to judge.
Do not worry about the bullet with your name on it. Worry
about shrapnel addressed to "Occupant."
Conquerors do not apologize; the dead never complain.
There may come a time when the lamb lays down with the lion.
The lamb won't get much sleep.
Second on the food chain is dead.
We are from the government. We are here to help ourselves to
you. We have come for a piece of all mankind.
The shortest distance between two points is self-interest.
Youth and enthusiasm will always succumb to old age and
treachery.
Intelligence is that process recognizing loneliness.
Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it
himself.
How do you eat an elephant? Eat it one bite at a time.
Spawn until you die.
When everybody thinks the same thoughts, nobody thinks at all.
Only the lead dog sees new scenery.
Beware cultures grown comfortable within their ancestors'
nightmares.
Excess is never enough. Take big bites.
Give a a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a
fishing pole and Worker's Compensation feeds him for life.
The person is expendable; the job is not.
May your words always be sweet - you never know when you will
be eating them.
Never ask permission, ask forgiveness.
If you obey all the small rules with diligence you can ignore
all the big rules with impunity.
Spawn until you die.
If God had not meant us to eat animals He would not have made
them out of meat.
Be careful when you wish - you might get it.
The State salvation of "protect our children" is naked
totalitarianism.
Never buy anything with a low serial number.
Whenever someone solicits a charitable act, demand to audit
his expense vouchers.
The only obscene profit is a small one.
If money doesn't buy you happiness you don't know where to
shop.
Nobody votes for an empty belly.
The Soviet system was outstanding among all governments for
having made nobody wealthy, not even its criminals.
God is never enthusiastic about hungry priests.
"X lives potentially saved" means it will cost >you< up front
and personal.
Avoid being the tomcat taken to the vet "for your own good."
Never join an intellectual gunfight when armed with a putty
knife.
Give war a chance.
Never argue with an idiot. Casual passersby cannot tell the
difference.
Pavlov made do with a dog; Schroedinger required a cat.
How do you tell the difference between good and evil? You
give each power.
The Bell Curve rings for those who care to listen, and more
so for those who do not.
Anything Officially forbidden is at least worth considering.
I wear my muscles outside my body as mechanisms and my brain
outside my skull as electronics. I evolve through personal
choice. I am a human being and no god shall stand before me.
Nobody is an expert on the future.