Two-day relationship workshops for couples of all kinds, held in NJ (just outside of NYC), and based on the NYT best-selling book, *The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work* by John Gottman

Following this workshop, 100% of our participants to date have reported feeling an increase in friendship and connection with their partners.

If you want to improve your friendship with your partner, connect on a deeper level, enhance your romance, and gain lifetime relationship skills that will support you in moving through times of conflict constructively and with more ease, then please join us for Gottman’s Seven Principles Workshop.

This fun and immersive two-day adventure is for committed couples of all kinds – dating, married, engaged, co-habitating – and centers on the work of Dr. John Gottman, as presented in his New York Times best-selling book, The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work.

Over four decades of study, Gottman has done extensive research on relationships – to the degree that he can predict within 94% accuracy whether or not a couple will stay together in the long run, based on observing the way they communicate.

Since Gottman’s work focuses on identifying common key behaviors that aren’t working, and replacing them with more productive choices, the material offered to couples in the Seven Principles Workshop is often viewed as very practical and logical – with easy-to-understand proactive tools that can be used by anyone who is looking to shift or break old existing patterns.

This approach not only provides repair opportunities for relationships that are stuck in problem places, but it also strengthens partnerships that are already on solid ground. So the good news is that this system can be very empowering for improving and solidifying bonds between couples across the board.

No matter where your relationship stands right now, the Seven Principles Workshop aims to give you what you need to unlock a renewed sense of closeness and intimacy with your partner – that you can take forward for life…and use to create your best love ever.

WHAT OUR PARTICIPANTS ARE SAYING…

“I was very impressed with the content of the program. It has been hugely helpful in enabling me to look positively at our relationship.”

“If you think your relationship could be better, this can help.”

“My biggest take-away: My methods – or lack thereof – of communications with my wife have been ineffective. This workshop showed me new and better ways.”

“Larissa and Bill are a great couple and play off each other so well. Energetic and humorous. Kept the class informed, entertained, and engaged.”

“If you are having challenges in your marriage and feel like there is any hope for change, take this course. It will give you a different perspective. Without communication and understanding I had been repeating the same cycle.”

“Positive, friendly, funny, enjoyable.”

“These tools will help us going forward. It gives me a better idea of how to work through difficult situations.”

“I am most satisfied and feel hopeful and happy.”

“Content helped me a great deal. It definitely helped me understand how to work with my partner and see a different perspective.”

“It was a great experience to reaffirm the state of the relationship and still acquire new tools and skills to use in the future when needed. It also strengthened our foundation, which is exactly what I was looking forward to doing!”

“If you are having troubles, or just want to improve the relationship you already have, this is a great program for you.”

“You may have saved our marriage.”

WHO IS THIS WORKSHOP FOR?

Gottman’s Seven Principles Workshop is appropriate for YOU if you resonate with any of the following:

• You are in a committed romantic partnership – any length, any orientation, any status – that you care about and value

• You want to boost your feelings of connection with your partner

• You recognize that you are on the path towards some significant next step in your relationship

• You are working on moving through a past challenge to your relationship

• You want to “speak the same language” more, and feel more aligned

• You want your relationship to be better than it is…but you don’t really know what to do about it

• You need help getting out of your same old “stuck” patterns of communication

• You’ve been feeling lonely and disconnected from your partner, and you crave the comfort and closeness you once had

• You’ve been feeling happy and content in your relationship, and you’re ready to make a good thing even better

• Your feelings have been full of ups and downs, and you wish you had proven tools and skills that you could use to help you navigate the rocky times

• You’re currently in couples therapy, or you wish your partner would agree to couples therapy, or you’re never going back to couples therapy – you’re looking for something similarly proactive and supportive in concept, but preferably more fun and from a different angle

• You thrive around like-minded others

• You are willing to invest in the success of your relationship

• You understand how sharing this process with a group could be beneficial…even if it scares you a little (or a lot) just to think about it

• You enjoy learning more about yourself and your partner, having insights, and seeing things in ways that you may not have previously considered

• You think of yourself as open-minded and willing to try something new – even when it feels hard, risky, or uncomfortable

• You know you could feel “recharged” if you could just spend some quality time alone together with your partner – to focus on just the two of you, with no distractions

• You’re curious about this workshop, and you wonder what it could offer your relationship

• You feel a pull towards joining us, even if you’re not yet sure why

If any of the above feels like a “YES” then this workshop can support YOU. Whether this will be your first workshop ever, or you’re workshop regulars, Gottman’s Seven Principles is appropriate for you and your partner to attend. You are welcome to join us, and we’d love to see you there – please scroll down to register!

WHO ISN’T THIS WORKSHOP FOR?

Gottman’s Seven Principles Workshop is NOT appropriate for you if you resonate with any of the following:

• You would categorize your relationship to be in very severe or intense distress

• You are currently experiencing a situation of active infidelity within your relationship

• You are currently experiencing a situation of active abuse (emotional, physical, verbal, etc.) within your relationship

• You are currently experiencing a situation of active addiction and/or compulsion (alcohol, drugs, etc.) within your relationship

• You are dealing with untreated mental illness or other serious psychiatric challenges within your relationship

If you are interested in this work, yet are moving through any of the above, pleaseCLICK HEREfor a directory of trained mental health professionals who specialize in the work of John Gottman. There are many supplementary online resources available as well, and we strongly encourage you to explore some or all of the links below, as relevant.

Additionally, this workshop is likely NOT a good fit for you if you resonate with any of the following:

• You are not in a committed romantic partnership that you care about and value

• You don’t see or want a future with your current partner

• You don’t believe that your own growth, your partner’s growth, and/or the growth of your relationship is worth investing in

• You’re pretty sure you already know everything you need to know about yourself, your partner, and your relationship – including how best to navigate it during times of conflict, contentment, and everything in between

• You see your relationship as having no room for improvement; you feel fully satisfied with your behavioral choices towards your partner, and vice versa, 100% of the time

• You don’t have any challenges in your relationship that you’d like to move through with more skills, grace, and/or ease – and you don’t foresee any coming up in the future either

• You already feel as close to your partner as you ever want to feel

• You don’t see value in connecting with like-minded others, or considering new perspectives

• You’re not so into the idea of spending a whole weekend alone with your partner

• The thought of having insights, adventures, or fun together as a couple does not appeal to you at this point in time

• You are confident that your partner feels exactly as you do about your relationship

If any of the above describes you, then you probably won’t enjoy Gottman’s Seven Principles Workshop – though we’ll be here if and when things shift for you, and we’ll be holding that energetic space open on your behalf.

(Though, by the way, if you’re willing to be wrong about any of the fear-based beliefs in the second half of this section, Gottman’s Seven Principles Workshop might actually be a great move for you after all – especially since it centers on things like breaking out of old patterns, improving the way you communicate with your partner, taking risks, and allowing yourself to be more vulnerable in your relationship. If you’re curious, please send us an email, and we can set up some time to talk more about your specific situation and the possibilities.)

ALL THE DETAILS…

PLEASE NOTE: Your workshop registration does not include meals, lodging, or transportation. Breaks will be given for meals together with your partner (and/or with other participants if you choose), and several dining options are within walking distance. This workshop is being held at an area hotel; EWR is the closest airport to the workshop, and we are also easily accessible from NYC by train or bus. You will receive exact location details upon registration.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

The word “MARRIAGE” is in the title of the book:
Do we have to be married to attend this workshop?Will we feel weird being there if we’re not married?Will we still get the same benefits from the workshop as married couples?What kinds of couples is this for anyway?Great questions – and very popular ones too. Couples of ALL kinds are welcome at this workshop – and whether or not you are married will not impact the benefits available to you. While it’s true that Gottman’s book is called The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work (and similar branding does exist on some workshop materials), we are choosing to cap the workshop title at “The Seven Principles” for exactly this reason. It doesn’t matter how long you and your partner have been together, what the legal status of your partnership is, or what demographics of coupling pertain to you. If you are in a committed relationship that you value and want to improve, then you are in the right place. Love is love: All kinds of couples are welcome, and we promise that the conversation’s aim will be relevant and inclusive to whoever is in the room.

Two full days, huh? Do we really need to be there the entire time?In a word: YES. This is a two-day curriculum, and involves a process which builds on itself as it moves forward. All participants are required to commit to attending the entirety of the workshop. Please get in touch if you have concerns that are specific to you and your partner.

We live far away. Where should we stay?Our workshops are held at area hotels, and we typically secure a block of guest rooms at a discounted rate, should you require or desire overnight lodging. There are also other nearby options that you are welcome to explore. You will receive exact location details and suggestions upon registration.

We have friends in the area – how about if we stay with them?While it could be tempting to stay with local friends or family who aren’t attending the Seven Principles Workshop, if you are asking for our ideal-world advice, we recommend against it. After-hours time during a workshop weekend is a time for integration – and interrupting that process with others who are not in the same energetic space as you can easily pull you out of it, and subtract a bit from the overall goal of the experience. Our days together will be filled with thought-provoking conversation, and one-on-one exercises with your partner that are meant to dig deep into your relationship. We suggest that you use the full weekend for focusing on just the two of you. At a minimum we strongly suggest that you reserve “couple time” from the end of our day on Saturday evening until we start up again on Sunday morning. And if you absolutely must include other people in your workshop weekend, we fully encourage you to support yourselves in advance by letting them know the situation, your needs, and your boundaries upfront.

Can we bring the kids?For the same reason as above, we strongly suggest that you leave the kids at home for the weekend. We know that you love them, and that you probably want to include them as much as possible in your lives. We also suspect that they could be one of the many everyday stressors on your relationship. To make the most of this experience, we encourage you to cocoon yourselves in the workshop environment, and to commit to making the entire weekend about the two of you – and the two of you only. This is a special and unique two-day opportunity to prioritize your intimate partnership above all else…for the long-term priority of your full family. In any case, please know that the workshop room is a sacred space for couples only, and no children will be permitted entry. This policy is a hard line in service to the energy and focus of all couples in attendance.

Is there anything we need to do in advance of the workshop?There is no prerequisite for this workshop. If you’re curious to check out the book, we won’t stop you – though you will be receiving a copy of it as part of your registration, and there is no need to read it beforehand. That said, we do suggest that you start moving towards the mindset of the workshop as it gets closer, whatever that means for you: Prep yourself a little bit from the mental and emotional standpoint. Talk with your partner about your collective thoughts, feelings, worries, goals, and intentions. And aim to get extra sleep leading up to the weekend if you can – since we have a couple of long days together, and all the better if you can start things off with a full tank. (And if not, c’est la vie…adrenaline can go a long way, and we’ll do our best to keep things moving with enough breaks sprinkled in as needed.)

OK…sounds like this is getting real. What is this going to be like? Will we have to share personal things out loud in the group?You are not required to share anything in the full group that you’re not comfortable sharing. You will be working one-on-one with your partner a great deal here. This work can be done between you and your partner only, and there are no expectations for you to reveal deeper-level information about your relationship. There will also be a few group exercises, and voluntarily-interactive group conversations throughout the workshop. These conversations will take place on general and theoretical levels, and will also involve opportunities to share workshop-based experiences and insights within the safe space of the group, if that is something that supports you both in processing.

If my partner doesn’t want to do the workshop, can I come alone?For better or worse, this workshop is intended for couples only. Both partners must be present and willing to participate with each other, since much of the work is focused on the interaction, communication, and interpersonal dynamics between the two of you.

If my partner is reluctant to do the workshop, should we still come?The only requirement to attend this workshop is willingness, and an open heart and mind is helpful too. If the idea of attending this workshop brings up any feelings in the realm of “reluctant”, “iffy”, “nervous”, “anxious”, “unsure”, “skeptical”, “worried”, “scared” – or anything else under the general headings of fear, hesitation, or resistance…you will likely be in very good company! Those sorts of feelings are 100% normal, since a weekend like this falls outside of most people’s comfort zones – though rest assured that it is possible to work successfully from any starting point. If the two of you are also wanting and willing – to any degree – to make powerful positive changes in your relationship, then all you need to do is get yourselves in the room, and be open to seeing what could unfold from there.

What if our relationship feels hopeless…is it worth it to try this workshop?If you ask us, there is almost always room for hope when it comes to healing relationships. Feelings can feel very big at times, and/or very absent or numb at others, and may or may not be indicative of the big picture of reality. If there are even the tiniest embers left between you two, or the thinnest thread that you are both holding on to – either in the present, or based in the past – then there is something there to build and strengthen. If you are still invested in your relationship on any level, then a step towards connecting with your partner can only be a positive one. If you’ve lately been thinking along the lines of “things can’t get much worse”, then ask yourself if you’d rather sit back and test that theory…or take action, and do what you can to shift course. Check in with yourself to identify what will it take for you to choose the latter – whether it’s this workshop or something else – since most of the time patterns do not shift on their own, and indecision eventually becomes its own decision. At the very least, through this workshop you will each gain tools to elevate your own perspective and skill set, no matter where you end up. That said, we trust that only you know the right choice for you…and if you’re still reading this, then it’s probably for a reason that involves some level of love for both your partner and your partnership. Please get in touch if you have concerns that are specific to your relationship. We would be happy to talk things through with you.

What if our relationship is in a good place – why would we need a couples workshop?In our opinion, ALL COUPLES could benefit from a couples workshop from time to time. Interpersonal relationship skills are not generally taught to most of us while growing up. Yet as living breathing human beings, all of us find ourselves participating in interpersonal relationships every single day. And – in case you hadn’t noticed – it is very often our primary romantic partnership that tends to bring up and trigger the most intense degrees of our “stuff”. This relationship typically sees us at our highest highs and our lowest lows, and we are often-unknowingly bringing a lot of it to the table, 24/7. All of this is to say that attending a workshop like this will give you at least a few major gifts, no matter where you’re currently sitting with relationship satisfaction: 1) Uninterrupted time together to focus on making your connection even stronger, 2) A foundation of new proactive relationship skills with a common language to move forward from, and 3) A sense of security in having built up some “insurance” in your “relationship bank account” for whenever you might happen to need it in the future. All powerful positive benefits for anyone who values their relationship.

You sound pretty enthusiastic about this. Will this workshop solve all of our problems?? You must have all of the answers, right?While we’re definitely super-enthusiastic about this work, based on our own firsthand experience, we’ll also give you the real talk: One workshop will not solve all of your problems all at once – and (sad but true) we definitely don’t have all of the answers either. While we are as human as you are, we pride ourselves on walking the talk and practicing this work ourselves, as much as we can, and we’ll share more about that with you throughout the workshop. It’s a process that requires practice and commitment – and more practice, and more commitment…aaand more practice. And more commitment. AND…you get the idea. Chances are good that it took you more than one weekend to get to wherever you are now in your relationship, so chances are likewise good that it will take you more than one weekend to get to somewhere new. What we CAN promise you is this: If you show up with an open mind and heart, willing to give your all to your relationship across these two days together in person, you WILL end up in a different place energetically than where you were when you arrived. And that can be a pretty great jumpstart to changing course permanently for the better. Most couples report leaving with a game plan and actionable tools; having significant insights; feeling closer, clearer, more hopeful, more connected, more attracted to and more loved by each other than before the workshop; and also being positively surprised, impacted, uplifted, and bonded by the overall experience. While the process is neither a simple one to go through nor describe, it IS a definite joy and honor to witness – and most people in rooms like these cannot help but be inspired on some level by the collective energy of the group…and that kind of high is rideable for as long as you both choose.

Can we talk more about this before registering?Absolutely. We know that this can feel like a major move for some couples, and we are all-in to help. Please scroll down to send us an email, and we would be happy to set up some time to support you in figuring out your best next step.

ABOUT US

Larissa Jaye is a Master and Mentor Certified Fearless Living Coach (CFLC) and a Master Certified Fearless Trainer (CFT) who co-facilitates Fearless Living workshops across the country for Rhonda Britten’s Fearless Living Institute (FLI). She is also FLI’s Director of Certifications, and overseer of its Life Coach Certification Program (LCCP). Additionally Larissa is a Certified Sound and Music Healing Practitioner; an on-staff Master Integration Coach at Greenbrier Academy For Girls; and the founder of the NYC-based a cappella group, The Current, who she has sung with since 2011. She holds a degree in gender-based sociolinguistics, has completed several Gottman trainings, and especially loves working with couples and brides-to-be in her private coaching practice.

Bill Barry is a husband who loves his wife so much that he was willing to take a 14-hour road trip in order to become trained and certified to co-facilitate Gottman couples workshops with her, after they experienced the value in the work firsthand – even though the idea of co-facilitating couples workshops was previously near the top of his list entitled “Things I Will Very Likely Never Do Ever (Please)”. Aside from his new passion for openly sharing his innermost thoughts and feelings on relationships with groups of strangers, he works a day job in IT Staffing; proudly parents a quality millennial; and moonlights as an actor with a full resume of theatre across Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, and NJ. For all of the workshop-reluctant partners out there: There’s hope. And you can do this.

Larissa and Bill are both trained Seven Principles Workshop Leaders,
as certified by The Gottman Institute.