Joey Barton (2014)

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Black-clad and Brylcreemed, the philosophising Scouser acquitted himself pretty well when he appeared alongside the equally “popular” Piers Morgan. Barton went into the referee’s notebook early for comparing Ukip’s recent election success to choosing “the best of four really ugly girls” but he apologised profusely, then went onto score points at the expense of Nigel Farage’s numpties, called the Lib-Dems “liars” and spoke well about the need for full disclosure over the Iraq War. A surprisingly respectable performance.