Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters

From the publisher of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies comes a new tale of romance, heartbreak, and tentacled mayhem. Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters expands the original text of the beloved Jane Austen novel with all-new scenes of giant lobsters, rampaging octopi, two-headed sea serpents, and other biological monstrosities.

Dracula [Audible Edition]

The modern audience hasn't had a chance to truly appreciate the unknowing dread that readers would have felt when reading Bram Stoker's original 1897 manuscript. Most modern productions employ campiness or sound effects to try to bring back that gothic tension, but we've tried something different. By returning to Stoker's original storytelling structure - a series of letters and journal entries voiced by Jonathan Harker, Dr. Van Helsing, and other characters - with an all-star cast of narrators, we've sought to recapture its originally intended horror and power.

Austenland: A Novel

Jane Hayes is a seemingly normal young New Yorker, but she has a secret. Her obsession with Mr. Darcy, as played by Colin Firth in the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, is ruining her love life: no real man can compare. But when a wealthy relative bequeaths her a trip to an English resort catering to Austen-crazed women, Jane's fantasies of meeting the perfect Regency-era gentleman suddenly become realer than she ever could have imagined.

The best stories pull readers in and keep them turning the pages, eager to discover more—to find the answer to the question: "And then what happened?" The true hallmark of great literature is great imagination, and as Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio prove with this outstanding collection, when it comes to great fiction, all genres are equal.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.

Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side

Author Beth Fantaskey injects a little humor into the vampire romance genre with this critically acclaimed debut novel. High school senior Jessica Packwood is a down-to-earth mathlete who's not sure what her future holds. What she definitely doesn't see coming is foreign exchange student - and vampire - Lucius Vladescu showing up at her door. According to Lucius, Jessica is actually vampire royalty, and they've been betrothed to one another since infancy.

How To Survive a Horror Movie: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills

Seth Grahame-Smith delivers the definitive, essential guide to making it through a horror movie in one piece. As hilarious as it is useful (if you’re trapped in a scary flick, that is), How to Survive a Horror Movie covers all the bases. Trapped in a haunted house? Check. Stalked by an evil doll? Check. Wandering aimlessly through the remains of the old world as a plague of zombies sweeps over the planet? Check.

Fallen: A Fallen Novel, Book 1

There's something achingly familiar about Daniel Grigori. Mysterious and aloof, he captures Luce Price's attention from the moment she sees him on her first day at the Sword & Cross boarding school in sultry Savannah, Georgia. He's the one bright spot in a place where cell phones are forbidden, the other students are all screw-ups, and security cameras watch every move.

Swordspoint: A Melodrama of Manners

On the treacherous streets of Riverside, a man lives and dies by the sword. Even the nobles on the Hill turn to duels to settle their disputes. Within this elite, dangerous world, Richard St. Vier is the undisputed master, as skilled as he is ruthless--until a death by the sword is met with outrage instead of awe, and the city discovers that the line between hero and villain can be altered in the blink of an eye.

The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place: Book I: The Mysterious Howling

Of especially naughty children, it is sometimes said: “They must have been raised by wolves.” The Incorrigible children actually were. Discovered in the forests of Ashton Place, the Incorrigibles are no ordinary children: Alexander keeps his siblings in line with gentle nips; Cassiopeia has a bark that is (usually) worse than her bite; and Beowulf is alarmingly adept at chasing squirrels.

Jim &#34;The Impatient&#34; says:"ALL BOOKS ARE JUDGED BY THEIR COVER UNTIL THEY ARE"

Magic Marks the Spot: The Very Nearly Honorable League of Pirates, Book 1

To escape from a life of petticoats and politeness, Hilary answers a curious advertisement for a pirate crew and suddenly finds herself swept up in a seafaring adventure that may or may not involve a map without an X, a magical treasure that likely doesn't exist, a rogue governess who insists on propriety, a crew of misfit scallywags, and the most treacherous - and unexpected - villain on the High Seas. Will Hilary find the treasure in time? Will she become a true pirate after all? And what will become of the gargoyle?

The Exorcist: 40th Anniversary Edition

Four decades after it first shook the nation, then the world, William Peter Blatty's thrilling masterwork of faith and demonic possession returns in an even more powerful form. Raw and profane, shocking and blood-chilling, it remains a modern parable of good and evil and perhaps the most terrifying novel ever written.

Masked Ball at Broxley Manor: A Royal Spyness Novella

At the end of her first unsuccessful season out in society, Lady Georgiana has all but given up on attracting a suitable man - until she receives an invitation to a masked Halloween ball at Broxley Manor. Georgie is uncertain why she was invited, until she learns that the royal family intends to marry her off to a foreign prince, one reputed to be mad.

Unholy Ghosts: Downside Ghosts, Book 1

In a future world under attack from the undead, the powerful Church of Real Truth, in charge since the government fell, has sworn to reimburse citizens being harassed by the deceased. Consequently, there are many false claims of hauntings from those hoping to profit. Enter Chess Putnam, a fully-tattooed witch and freewheeling ghost hunter. She’s got a real talent for nailing human liars and banishing the wicked dead.

How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age

Celebrating the 75 anniversary of the original landmark bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People, comes an up-to-the-minute adaptation of Carnegie’s timeless prescriptions for the digital age. Dale Carnegie’s principles have endured for nearly a century. Since its original publication in 1936, his timeless classic How to Win Friends and Influence People has gone on to sell 15 million copies. Now, introducing new listeners to Carnegie’s words of wisdom, comes How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age, a new guide for a new era.

Mean Streets

Featuring New York Times best-selling authors Jim Butcher and Simon R. Green, and national best-selling authors Kat Richardson and Thomas E. Sniegoski, Mean Streets offers four novellas from the hottest names in contemporary paranormal suspense. Running the gamut from demons and werewolves to zombies and black magic, these whodunits crackle with otherworldly secrets, making for a noir collection with an extra set of fangs.

Timeless Tales of Beatrix Potter: Peter Rabbit and Friends

Beatrix Potter's amazing universe of animals dressed in human clothing has taught and entertained children for over a century. This volume brings together 21 of Potter's tales and verses in one audiobook. Hear Peter Rabbit outwit old Mr. McGregor, and Squirrel Nutkin come within a tail's length of being an owl's dinner. Listen as a family of mice save the kind tailor of Gloucester, and as Peter and Benjamin Bunny battle a barn cat. Learn how one fierce rabbit is set on the road to honesty.

Ashes: Ashes Trilogy, Book 1

An electromagnetic pulse flashes across the sky, destroying every electronic device and killing billions. Alex hiked into the woods to say good-bye to her dead parents and her personal demons. Now desperate to find out what happened after the pulse crushes her to the ground, Alex meets up with Tom, a young soldier, and Ellie, a girl whose grandfather was killed by the EMP. For this improvised family and the others who are spared, it's now a question of who can be trusted and who is no longer human.

Aser Tolentino says:"Another Readable Story About the End of the World"

Criss-cross America - on dogsleds and ships, stagecoaches and trains - from pirate ships off the coast of the Carolinas to the peace, love, and protests of 1960s Chicago. Join fifteen of today's most talented writers of young adult literature on a thrill ride through history with American girls charting their own course. They are monsters and mediums, bodyguards and barkeeps, screenwriters and schoolteachers, heiresses and hobos.

Green

She was born in poverty, in a dusty village under the equatorial sun. She does not remember her mother, she does not remember her own nameher earliest clear memory is of the day her father sold her to the tall pale man. In the Court of the Pomegranate Tree, where she was taught the ways of a courtesanand the skills of an assassinshe was named Emerald, the precious jewel of the Undying Dukes collection of beauties. She calls herself Green.

The undead are more alive today than ever. Immortal? Indeed! Nothing has sunk its teeth into 21st century popular culture as pervasively as the vampire. The fangsters have the freedom to fly across all genres and all mediums - there''s even apps for vamps. Whether roaming into romance, haunting horror, sneaking into science fiction, capering into humor, meandering through mystery - no icon is more versatile than the vampire.

The Last American Vampire

In Reconstruction-era America, vampire Henry Sturges is searching for renewed purpose in the wake of his friend Abraham Lincoln's shocking death. It will be an expansive journey that will first send him to England for an unexpected encounter with Jack the Ripper, then to New York City for the birth of a new American century, the dawn of the electric era of Tesla and Edison, and the blazing disaster of the 1937 Hindenburg crash.

Masques: Aralorn, Book 1

After an upbringing of proper behavior and oppressive expectations, Aralorn fled her noble birthright for a life of adventure as a mercenary spy. Her latest mission involves spying on the increasingly powerful sorcerer Geoffrey ae'Magi. But in a war against an enemy armed with the powers of illusion, how do you know who the true enemy is - or where he will strike next?

Truth in Advertising: A Novel

Finbar Dolan is lost and lonely. Except he doesn’t know it. Despite escaping his blue-collar Boston upbringing to carve out a mildly successful career at a Madison Avenue ad agency, he’s a bit of a mess and closing in on 40. He’s recently called off a wedding. Now, a few days before Christmas, he’s forced to cancel a long-postponed vacation in order to write, produce, and edit a Superbowl commercial for his diaper account in record time. Fortunately, it gets worse....

Publisher's Summary

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains." So begins Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem.

As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton - and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers - and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead. Can she vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices of the class-conscious landed gentry?

Complete with romance, heartbreak, swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you'd actually want to read.

This Heirloom Edition of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies includes a new preface by the author, an afterword by Dr. Allen Grove, professor of English literature at Alfred University, and new scenes of gratuitous zombie mayhem.

What the Critics Say

"[Seth Grahame-Smith] has taken the merry world established by a 19th-century literary lady, added a scourge of reanimated corpses, and created...well, a pop cultural phenomenon, certainly, and one that has stirred up a lot of excitement. But the greater achievement of the book may lie in the satisfying desire it awakens to read the remix and the original side by side." (Entertainment Weekly)

Listen to the Audible sample of this book and decide if it's for you. I am a professional over-50 woman not particularly fond of violence but I found this book laugh-out-loud hilarious! I thought the narrator did a wonderful job. The premise is so ridiculous that it becomes fascinating to see how the author weaves it in with the original classic story. I LOVE reading and audiobooks but had never read Pride and Prejudice. I went out and bought it after listening to this book so I could appreciate both more. Listen to this for pure entertainment and an enjoyment of farce as long as you are not offended by descriptions of what zombies do. I don't think Seth Grahame-Smith ripped anyone off by authoring this book.

I think it would have been a much better book if Grahame-Smith had presented his fractured fairytale more seriously...what IF a plague of zombies invaded the tale of "Pride and Prejudice" and how would have strong characters such as Darcy and Lizzie reacted to such an horrific ordeal? Instead it is equal parts kung fu chopsocky and through-the-shattered-looking-glass Austen. But still, it IS a fun tale, never quite "laugh-out-loud" funny, but surprisingly witty in some places, as the world of Jane Austen goes goth (and Jackie Chan). Uma Thurman, oops, I mean Lizzie, is just too far-gone "Kill Bill," but it does make for a hilarious fantasy sequence when a put-out Lizzie beheads her gabby punk of a little sister. Darcy, I guess due to the "plauge," has taken a puerile air, frequently making word plays on the ever-present frequent balls (stacking up some impressive frequent ball mileage). To Grahame-Smith's credit, frequently I would forget that I was listening to a lampoon of "Pride and Prejudice" and for an hour I'd truly enjoy the story, with even a minor few revelations and perspectives (but if you really want to be dazzled by Neo Austen, try Pamela Aidan's "An Assembly Such as This"). Never quite "Mad" magazine (but generally close), the story juggles classical beauty, very familiar archetypes, and a big bag of constant silliness. Never as witty as Jasper Fforde's "Thursday Next" novels, still, sometimes Seth Grahame-Smith is pretty witty. I have to admit (and I'm perfectly ready to duck tomatoes) I liked the story, and Katherine Kellgren's narration is as good as I've ever heard, beautiful in fact, and perhaps the reason that I enjoyed the book as much as I did. As a whole I'd rank the novel a 4 (out of 5), but the narration is a perfect 10 (out of 4). Art et Amour Toujours

I don't know how Seth pulled it off, but somehow this man has brought zombies, ninjas, and humor into Lizzy's world and yet it is still Pride and Prejudice. Mr.Bennett is hilarious with his treatment of his annoying prattling wife, Darcy is forced into a battle of ninja skills with Lizzy as she declines his marriage proposal, and somebody close to Lizzy is bitten and infected with the 'Strange Plague'. The Bennett sisters are practically the designated ninja death squad of the countryside. On top of all that, Katherine Kellgren's pompous English tea time voice adds just that right touch to the story to make it inconceivably more hilarious! This is possibly one of the coolest books ever now. I don't think high school English class will ever be the same!

I've just finished this zombie version of "P&P", which I loved, and checked all the reviews and links for Katherine Kellgren at Audible. This is the first time I hunted for additional titles by narrator. It feels as though I'm late to discover her. I've never heard such a reader! Bright, precise, compelling torrents of speech delivered with awesome energy and conviction! She projects REAL feeling for Austen's language. In addition, Seth Grahame-Smith did fine work as well, to put the twist on the tale. I hope that other classic titles will receive this kind of clever makeover. I'll be waiting.

It's hard to be comfortable with taking a book that you love and having it tampered with. BUT, I have to say that I enjoyed this audio book. It was nice to listen to the underlying great story and throwing in the zombie, ninja, heart-eating, and pus-popping sores was actually pretty funny. I thought the author did "just right" in not trying to re-write the story but really just mash it with a ridiculous idea. I laughed aloud at Katherine Kellgren's manner of reading Charlotte's part- it's hilarious.

This is among the top 5 audio books I've ever listened to. Katherine Kellgren's performance is simply perfect. The entire book has the feel of a classic while incorporating zombies and their lust for brains seamlessly into the story. The book would fit well on the shelf with Classics and Alternate History alike. A wonderful performance and a wonderful read.

I've never been able to abide Jane Austen. I felt completely unconnected from the characters and unable to empathize with their dated misadventures in love and social climbing. That said, I loved this book. Apparently, all it took to make me care about Eliza and Co. was a liberal sprinkling of the undead. Most of the characterizations and the plot itself remained untouched, but the world in which they occur is enough changed to give them a dash of modern flavour. Also, I found Austen's women much improved by their new interest in the "deadly arts," as opposed to all that fuss over balls and letter writing and... pfft. Marriage. Not to say that Grahame-Smith doesn't occasionally go overboard; his additions have a tendency to become incredibly campy (moreso than I believe that they were meant to be) and repetitive. Still, I would highly recommend this book, especially to those who have trouble stomaching the original. I'll readily admit that I have never been Austen's biggest fan, but even I couldn't take my iPod off for days.

Very fun premise to the story and great narration. I was surprised at how true to the original story this version stayed, while adding in a layer of zombies versus the deadly arts. Loved it. I think I got much more out of hearing the audio version than I would have by reading the print version.

I'm a huge Jane Austen fan. I was worried if this book would offend. Not only did it not offend, I found myself laughing out loud at the humor and additional zombie killing wit added by Seth Grahame-Smith. I would tell any friend of mine to read this book. I found myself quoting several passages to them and I hope he does another!! I would definitely read more!

Loved the title and concept, really liked the reader, BUT... unfortunately the zombie parts just didn't fit. For one thing, Elizabeth Bennett is too bloodthirsty (literally!) One of the reasons Austen's Darcy was able to love her even though he looks down on her family is that she and her sister Jane do not behave excessively, unlike her mother and other sisters. It's jarring to have Elizabeth so violently showing her passion for The Deadly Arts. It's fine to have her skilled in killing The Unmentionables, but she should be as polite and modest about it as she would be about her pianoforte and dancing skills.

In a really great mash-up, whether it's music or prose, you can't tell where one part stops and another begins. Unfortunately, that's not the case in this book. Grahame-Smith either needed to totally rewrite more of Austen's parts, or get himself more into a 19th century frame of mind for the zombie story. He did a good job of changing the card games to the zombie context; too bad he wasn't as clever with the rest.

Having read the other reviews, I thought I'd give this a go. I love P&P and all Austen and did feel sometimes that the real story's humour and nuances were somewhat undermined by the 'zombie' element. That said, if you want unadulterated Austen, then just read Austen.

I would say this is for people who have already read P&P, in order to get the depth of some of the jokes, but I'm pretty sure they'd still be funny if you hadn't. It did take about 10 chapters before I saw any real humour, but at later points I was laughing out loud on the train with the odd surprise one-liner. It pleased me in that it was not a riot of back to back jokes, but simply a retelling of a great story, with an amusing 'plague' sub-plot which gave it a new colour.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

louise

9/2/09

Overall

"Absolutely Brilliant!"

I don't usually write reviews but I have to make an exception for this fabulous audible book. Not only is it a fantastic take on a classic story it was read so wonderfully that I could hardly wait to get in my car to listen to it. As soon as it finished I wanted to listen to it all over again! I can't recommend this highly enough.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

Philip

Piacenza, Italy

2/10/11

Overall

"Why all the fuss?"

I don't understand why people have gone so crazy for this book.
It's basically an overly-long one-pun joke. It's one of those crazy ideas you might have drunk one night in a pub with your friends, but like most ideas of this type, it shouldn't go beyond the beer mat. I listened to it all but often found myself wondering why. Ninja's, zombies, Mr. Darcy....this is six form stuff. Yeah it's funny at times, but, really, why the fuss?
I guess it's a novel technique to get the masses reading the classics.

0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Henrik

OdenseDenmark

6/20/09

Overall

"Very entertaining!"

The most fun and well read audiobook I have heard for a long time.
Highly recommended!

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

Chris

Welwyn, United Kingdom

10/28/16

Overall

Performance

Story

"Occasionally gory"

I love this treatment of the classic story but the narrator can be too shrill.

0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Rob Woodside

9/13/16

Overall

Performance

Story

"What happened to the Zombies?"

This started most promisingly - England in the grip of a Zombie plague, the Miss Bennetts highly trained warriors, Mr Darcy a master ninja trained in Japan, the classic story of manners and social position interwoven with extreme violence and gore. All very clever and well observed. But from halfway through the book the Zombies become little more than a distant annoyance. The story is then almost purely Pride and Prejudice - effectively word for word. So the story goes nowhere other than the expected, with little to lift it from the original. How I longed for another Zombie attack - for Lizzie Bennett's skull to be cracked by a manky dreadful, Mr Darcy's entrails to be painfully unwound, Mrs Bennett's limited brains to be consumed by one of the striken, and for Satan's army to drown all of Pemberly in blood - anything to cease their endless prattling and indulgent wimsey. Alas no. Ultimately disappointing.

0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Speshla

7/22/16

Overall

Performance

Story

"Seriously disappointing"

Just...awful. I love Pride and Prejudice, and I love zombie themed things, so I was really looking forward to this book. But they don't mix. Maybe if it was a continuation of the original story, it could work. But it doesn't. The author's basically taken the Bennett girls, sent them to China to train, then plopped them back in the original book, just with conversational changes and some added fight scenes. I hate the way the Chinese master's name is pronounced, only slightly more than the fact that he was invented in the first place.

0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Yazzie

4/24/16

Overall

Performance

Story

"pride and prejudice and. zoombies"

daunting tittle for anyone who is an Austen fan. The book however remained as truevto Austen as it could possibly be. It was a well written abd entertaining novel. I will certainly be recommending this book for our bookclub read. Enjoyed it up till the very last slain zoombie and the marriages of Jane and Elizabeth Bennett.

0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Eastendelle

London

4/16/16

Overall

Performance

Story

"Clever combo of classic and zombie"

This retelling of a classic distinguishes itself from the rest either of other Austen parodies, inspired retelling etc etc etc Not usually fond of the genre, I got curious because this was book zero (aka the zombie books always obsess with patient zero...) and the movie adaptation just got out - the book is aging gracefully as it chooses where to mix and where to leave it to the romance in a crafty way. Entertaining read, perfect for holidays!

0 of 0 people found this review helpful

ANTHONY

8/17/15

Overall

Performance

Story

"Good but different"

A familiar story with a twist of black humour. Read incredibly well. Looking forward to the film and the sequel and prequel

0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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