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On DVD

Not Another Teen Movie

PLUGGED IN RATING

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Movie Review

It’s hard to tell how much of Not Another Teen Movie is an irreverent homage to adolescent romps of the past 20 years She’s All That, Pretty in Pink, American Pie, Cruel Intentions, Can’t Hardly Wait, The Breakfast Club, Never Been Kissed, Varsity Blues, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Risky Business, 10 Things I Hate About You, Sixteen Candles, Bring It On, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, etc.) and how much is an enough-is-enough body slam of a tired genre. There’s nothing subtle about this parody. From its stereotypical characters to explicit nudity and in-your-face sexual humor, it is exponentially more vulgar and irresponsible than the films it pokes fun at.

Written by Phil Beauman and Buddy Johnson, the same team that crafted the obscene Scary Movie and its raunchy sequel, this comedy builds on the basic plot from She’s All That: A popular jock wagers that he can turn a social outcast into a prom queen, only to fall in love with the transformed loner, lose the bet and win the girl. Meanwhile, the girl’s obsessed platonic friend tries to win her heart, some nerdy underclassmen vow to lose their virginity by prom night, and a manipulative sex addict tries to get her brother in the sack.

positive elements: The star quarterback defies orders for the sole purpose of giving a nerdy bench-sitter the chance to catch a touchdown pass. Later he defends the honor of the girl he’s grown to love. But these rare moments of humanity get lost amid a rancid flow of immoral humor.

spiritual content: Janey’s priest (and a bunch of tykes from the orphanage) walk in on her while she’s pleasuring herself with a vibrator. Young boys credit God with creating heavenly female bodies.

sexual content: There are numerous shots of full female breast nudity. A shapely foreign exchange student wanders through the film without a stitch of clothing. Jake comes on to Janey by stripping naked and covering his privates with whipped cream. Several sexual encounters feature nudity, orgasmic noises or both. Erotic humor abounds, making light of masturbation, homosexuality, various forms of incest, pornography, prostitution, oral and anal sex, threesomes, manual stimulation, intercourse with strangers and a fantasy involving excrement. There’s even a sleazy musical number.

violent content: A football player literally gets cut in half by tacklers after catching a touchdown pass (we see his severed upper torso clinging to the ball as his legs lie several feet away). A boy is battered and bloody after getting creamed by a bus. Janey takes a nasty fall through a flimsy staircase. A football player is clobbered repeatedly, causing so many concussions that he bleeds from the ears and eventually dies (implied). One of the cheerleaders gets hit by a car. Fistfights pop up here and there (Jake even punches one of the girls in the face).

crude or profane language: Frequent. In addition to a handful of f-words, there are nearly 20 s-words and a lot of crass anatomical slang. A nasty football coach uses the blasphemous "g--d---" more than 20 times in his limited screen time. Women are called "b--ches." A cheerleader with Tourette's syndrome launches into strings of obscenities.

drug and alcohol content: A student throws a keg party which features lots of drinking and smoking marijuana (even a pig puffs weed). Janey’s dad is an alcoholic who has no compunction about driving drunk.

other negative elements: Boys peep at a girl using the bathroom, a gag that ends with all of them—including the commode—plummeting through the floor and into a classroom below, leaving a half-dozen people drenched in feces. Several scenes mock a pair of conjoined twins connected at the head.

conclusion: Somewhere there must have been a casting call that read: Wanted, aspiring young actors and actresses willing to prostitute themselves for a spot on the big screen. Must be attractive and possess no moral standards. Talent optional. This repugnant comedy portrays teens as rutting animals and exploits the worst, most perilous curiosities of adolescence. Especially disappointing are cameos by Melissa Joan Hart, Molly Ringwald, Mr. T and the music of CCM band Sixpence None the Richer. Irresponsible and in poor taste from start to finish.

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