The Etiquette of Blackmail

Lets talk blackmail. The first time I ever heard the term, I immediately imagined a sinister black envelope. Probably with red handwriting and maybe a red and black stamp. It scared me. And I think I had good reason to be scared as it seemed to be an epidemic, at least that’s what Hollywood wanted me to believe. I was certain that one day when I was much older, and very rich, and possibly blonde, I would be lounging by the pool, and my cabana boy would present me with a morning Mimosa and the mail, and in that pile of mail, would be the dreaded black envelope. I would be done for.

Yet in real life, it seems blackmail doesn’t happen very often, and when it does, it’s likely not very dramatic. But in the rare event that it were to happen, I believe that there should be an etiquette to it, just as these two ladies are teaching us here. Blackmail served with tea (something strong and smoky like Lapsang) and lots of little cakes and sandwiches with the crusts cut off would really help to make the experience a much more pleasant one.