Barack Obama walked into the room, looking left, then right, then straight ahead.
"Over here, sir," said the security agent.
Obama looked nervously to each side again, then proceeded in the direction the man indicated.
Taking his seat, he shuffled the papers in front of him as those standing around the table slowly took their seats.
"What's first?" Obama asked.
"Well, sir, the push in these next few days will be the opinion of the world," said the man on his left.
"The world? You mean this planet?" Obama asked.
"World opinion, sir. We want to show how much world opinion matters," the man said.
"Yeah, that'd be a great idea," Obama said. "Uh-oh. Do we know how the world feels? I mean, have we sent anyone there to find out? And how long would a trip there take? Can we get the information back in time?"
The man paused, his mouth going dry. He licked his lips. "Uh, yes, sir, we've already received the results. And the world loves you, sir."
"Oh, goodie! I'd like to go there one day. To they speak English there? On TV, all the planets speak English. But I don't know if I can believe everything I see on TV," Obama said. "Except for infomercials. They're great. I want a Bowflex. Oh, and one of those Inside-the-Egg Scramblers. Kwanzaa is coming up, you know!"
"Yes, sir. But if we can get back to the polls..."
"Why do we care what the Poles think? Aren't they stupid? I saw that on TVLand. Archie called Mike a "dumb Polack" and everybody laughed," Obama said.
"No, sir, we're talking about opinion polls. The world wants you to be elected president," the man said.
"Okay, then tell them they've got to vote on Tuesday. Tell them I need their support."
"Um, sir, people from other countries don't vote in the U.S elections."
"Well, why not?" Obama asked. "Do you mean that the French, the Italians, the Iranians, the Canadians, the Russians, the Chinamen, the Koreans, the British, the English, the Anglos, none of them get to vote? That's not fair!"
"Well, we do have several voting in Ohio, so that helps a little," the man offered.
"Okay then. So, the plan is to tell America that we've got foreigners voting for me in the election and they need to vote for me too?" Obama asked. "I like that."
"Oh, no. No, sir. We don't mention that to anyone. It's ... um ... it's a secret, sir."
"Ah. I see. Spies," Obama said. "Where from? Germany? Lapland? Moldavia? Seton Hall?"
"Um, sure. Anyway, we want to tell America that we can return America to its days of prestige and leadership by electing you," the man explained.
"Oh, okay. Right. I get it," said Obama. "We show our leadership by doing what everyone else does. That's brilliant!"
"Um, yes, sir."
Obama thought for a minute. "What about Iraq? Can we talk about how bad it is that we went into Iraq?"
"Oh, of course, sir." The man added, "Iraq is one of our strongest issues. We need to keep hitting about how terrible going into Iraq was. And that we need to get out as soon as possible. Immediately. Or sooner."
"Yeah," Obama said. "I bet the Iraq people want me to be president, don't they?"
The man stuttered, "Uh, uh, we... um, uh, well, um, actually, more Iraqis support McCain."
"Maybe I need to go to Iraqiland and campaign there," Obama offered. "I'm sure we could convince them that it'd be better if I won. And call them racist if they don't support me. That works here. It'd work in Iraqiland, wouldn't it?"
"Actually, sir, it's better to just call it 'Iraq.' And we probably don't want to bring up how the Iraqi people really feel. We just need to say we need to leave Iraq," the man said.
"I got an idea," Obama said. "Let's tell them that we'll not only leave Iraq, but we'll put it back like we found it. Do we know who was president in Iraq before Bush attacked them? We could find him and put him back in charge. The Iraqis would love that, I'm sure. That way, it'd be just like we never attacked them."
The man paused for a second before responding. "Let's just leave that part out, sir."
"Well, okay," Obama said. "You know best."
"Good. Thank you, sir. Time to get back on the campaign trail. You and Michelle have an appearance tonight in Iowa."
Obama shuddered for a second. "She scares me."
"Me, too," the man said. "Me, too."

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) has, for the most part, supported many of the policies of President Bush. Not all the time, but most of the time.

The Obama campaign has used this against McCain in the election. And that's fair. It's not as it's being presented, but still, McCain's support of many of the President's policies is a fair issue.

So let's talk fair.

You've heard of the "Fairness Doctrine," I'm sure. It was generally applied by the "Equal Time" rule, though that in and of itself was not the "Fairness Doctrine."

However, the "Equal Time" rule that many broadcasters applied was generally good enough to meet FCC policies (the "Fairness Doctrine"). Heck, I even used it once to ask for -- and receive -- equal time to respond to an editorial on my hometown radio station back in the 1970s.

Either way, it meant that if you presented one side of a controversial argument, you had an obligation to present the other side. Not equal time, but an opposing view nonetheless.

Many on the left want to bring the Fairness Doctrine back. But whether or not it's brought back isn't actually the topic.

It's the general idea of fairness.

Like I said, McCain's support of the policies of Bush is a fair issue. My own take is that, if George W. Bush and John S. McCain agree on something, it's probably a good thing. But that's just me.

Let's consider what else is fair.

How about ... the policies of Barack Obama?

Since he has such a short resumé, you don't have as much to look at. So, when you look at what's there, you better look close.

And that's why Obama's votes to raise taxes on those making $42K a year is important. It's not what he's preaching right now, but it's what he's done. I choose to believe what a man has done more that what he says. His votes to raise taxes are fair game.

And, because his record is so small, you have to look closely at all kinds of things to figure out just who this guy is.

As for McCain, I have a friend that used to live in Arizona. She says that well before he came into the national spotlight, he was just like he is today. Like him or hate him, he's honest and is straight with you, not telling you what he thinks you want to hear, but what he thinks you need to hear.

Obama? He's saying things that don't match up to his record.

He's denied a relationship with Bill Ayers, but that doesn't match the facts. And that question is fair.

Obama says he doesn't want to raise your taxes, but he wants to eliminate the Bush tax cuts that will ... get this ... have the effect of raising your taxes. And that's a fair topic.

Obama wants to "spread the wealth around" ... and that's socialism, plain and simple. And that's a fair topic for discussion.

Obama has called the U. S. Constitution a "fundamentally flawed" document. Not a document that contains flaws that can be corrected by amendments, but "fundamentally flawed." His statements are a fair topic for discussion.

I could go on and on. And probably will. Just not right now.

If anyone wants to institute a "fairness doctrine," it should begin with a fair look at Barack Obama.

Anyone American who takes a fair look at Barack Obama will be appalled by what he sees.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

All sales personnel will pool their sales ... and all bonuses from goals exceeded ... into a common pool. This pool will be divided equally between all employees: sales, administrative, maintenance, security, IT, and retirees. This will allow the company to spread the wealth around to all under-achievers.

All lower level wage-earners will pool their wages, including overtime, into the common pool. It will also be divided equally among all employees. This will help those who don't work overtime to reap the rewards from those who do.

Management will not participate in the pooling of income. Management simply makes and enforces the rules; management does not follow the rules.

To compensate for this, management will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard "for the good of all."

Employees should be thrilled with these new policies because it's "good to spread the wealth around." Those who have underachieved will finally be rewarded; those who have worked hard and had success will feel more "patriotic," if you will, by knowing that others are benefiting from their hard work.

Okay, this is not an original thought on my part. I stole it from somewhereelse. But it's okay; I'm just spreading the humor around.

Anyway, I don't see a flaw in this plan. In fact, I'm thinking this could work on a national level.

Still undecided?
Or perhaps are leaning towards voting for McCain-Palin?
This ought to change your mind. Here's a laundry list of why you should be voting for Barack Obama:
Now who can argue with that?!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I'm sure you've seen the stories about the house out in Hollywood that decorated for Hallowe'en by putting up an effigy of Sarah Palin ... hanging by the neck.
Some have criticized the display, demanding it be taken down. Others don't like it, but say it's all in fun. And then there are those that wish it was really Sarah Palin hanging there.
Me? I'm a supporter of Gov. Palin, and I think the display of her being hung is ... perfectly fine.

A friend of mine mentioned yesterday that he's investing in gold.
He seems to think the whole world economy has only begun to go to hell in a handbasket. He thinks the worst is yet to come.
Because he thinks Obama will win the election.
And Obama might.
Yes, my friend is right: If Obama wins, things will only get worse.
And perhaps my friend has the right idea: invest in metals.
Only, I don't think I'm going to invest in gold.
I'm thinking steel, brass, and lead.

What with all this talk about McCain and Obama, people seem to have forgotten: George W. Bush is still the President.
If you don't believe me, just ask Pakistan. Or Syria.
Oh, and by the way, I have a special message for North Korea, Iran, Russia, China, and anybody else that forgot: It's still 115 days until January 20, 2009.

During this election season, some of us on the right have asked about Barack Obama, "Just what does a community organizer do?"
And we've been criticized as "racist" for asking such a thing.
Well, I for one, no longer need to ask what a community organizer does.
It's obvious that he makes a difference in his community.
And what was Barack Obama's community?
Chicago.
You've heard of Chicago, right? The murder capital of the United States.
Just think: as President, Obama can do for your community what he did for Chicago.
"Change We Need?" My big ol' butt.

The Democrat vice presidential candidate, Sen. Joe Biden, finally released his medical records. But something was missing.
The brain scans.
In case you forgot ... or never knew ... Biden twice underwent surgery in 1988 to repair damage from aneurysms.
But the medical records, released recently, didn't include any brain scans:

But the 49 pages of records the campaign released gave no indication that Biden's doctors sought follow-up tests after the serious aneurysms he suffered in 1988. Medical experts are divided over the need for such precautionary brain scans, but many feel it is the only way to be sure a patient is out of danger.
"If this was my patient, I would re-image every three to five years to make sure no new aneurysm had cropped up," said Dr. Mark Alberts, a professor of neurology at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine.

Not to worry. Our crack team of investigators has uncovered the missing brain scans...

Remember the song Fish Heads?
Sure you do:
But... there are a couple of things about Fish Heads you might not know.
One is who Barnes and Barnes, the credited artist of the song, really is. They are Robert Haimer and Bill Mumy, two childhood friends. And, if the name Bill Mumy seems familiar, well, it should. That is the same Bill Mumy that appeared on Lost In Space. Yes, he played Will Robinson.
The other thing about fish heads you might not know? They seem to be eligible to vote in Illinois, Barack Obama's home state.
Yes, a dead goldfish was sent voter's registration information.
My favorite line in the story?

"There was no fraud involved," said Nudelman, a Democrat who supports Barack Obama. "This person is a dead fish."

According to someone who the Democrats consider an expert on foreign policy, there's a test coming up.
Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE) told a group of supporters that if Obama's elected, a major international crisis will develop:

"Mark my words," the Democratic vice presidential nominee warned at the second of his two Seattle fundraisers Sunday. "It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you don't remember anything else I said. Watch, we're gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy."

The amazing thing is, those of us on the right have been saying this for months.
And now, it seems, Joe Biden agrees with us.
But here's where we differ.
We think that when a crisis hits ... when that 3:00 AM phone call comes ... there should be somebody in the White House who can respond, and respond decisively.
The left thinks there should be somebody who votes "present."
Yeah, "present." That'll strike fear in the terrorists' hearts.

Monday, October 20, 2008

I like my iPod. But I like it even more now. It's got a sense of humor.
Earlier today, I put the iPod on shuffle. Which means it'll shuffle the songs on the iPod (all 1,258 of them) and play them.
The 10th song was "Saturday Night," by the Eagles. You may know the song. From the "Desperado" album. The lyrics end with "Whatever happened to Saturday night?"
Next song up on the iPod?
"Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting" by Elton John.
I like my iPod.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

This morning was the Tidwell Cancer Foundation's Walk and Pancake Breakfast.
It was at Ashley Furniture, at Columbus Park Crossing -- a shopping center we affectionately call "Hooterville," since Hooters was one of the first businesses in the area, and because, until recently, it used to be woods.
Started early, was cold, and turnout was light.
But it was for a good cause, and those that did come out were enthusiastic.
I wore a pink hat. And, no, I don't have any pictures of me in a pink hat.
Oh, and Chris Cakes of Atlanta handled the Pancake Breakfast portion of things.
My neice (Miss Columbus Teen 2009) and her mother (The Mean Sister) drover over last night, arriving at Casa Basil about 1:00 AM. I gave them the TiVo remote and went to bed.
But, this morning, went to the fundraiser and tried to raise a little money for breast cancer research.
Why not check out your local paper, pay attention to the commercials on radio and TV, and notice flyers around town? You might find out about a worthwhile fundraiser going on.
You'll be cold, wet, and tired.
And feel good about it.

Bencal, who sings the anthem for a number of school events and is actively involved in local community theatre, had been contacted by the Obama campaign to sing the anthem. He agreed to do so, then was told later in the evening the anthem had been scratched from the program. Bencal said he was told by the campaign the decision was a simple programming change to make room for another speaker.

Even though the National Anthem isn't that important to him, don't question his patriotism.
Ignore the Senator not putting his hand over his heart during the playing of the National Anthem during an Indianola, Iowa, campaign stop:
Despite that, don't question his patriotism.
Ignore his long history with terrorists such as Bill Ayers, who bombed NYC police headquarters, the Pentagon, and the U.S. Capitol. The same Bill Ayers in whose living room Obama held one of his first ever campaign appearances. The same Bill Ayers who served on boards with Obama. The same Bill Ayers who lives in the same neighborhood as Obama. The same Bill Ayers who has exchanged hundreds of thousands of dollars with Obama.
But don't question Obama's patriotism.
So, I won't.
But, if you're voting for Barack Obama, I'm questioning yours.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Hello. I'm Church Wardhill. I'm a professor of Pseudo-American Studies at the University of Aztlan. And in this political season ... this election season ... I believe with all my ... being ... that we are in a national crisis, facing a major crossroad. And the decisions we make will impact this flawed nation of ours for weeks, even months, to come.
What do we do? Look to the past. Because we must learn from history.
The Nazi .. I mean, Republican ... Party has nominated George Bush's evil twin, John McCain, and that harpy, Sarah Palin, to be president and vice president.
People forget that Pontius Palin ... a governor ... sentenced community organizer Jesus H. Obama -- that's "Jesus," which is the Arabic, um, Aramaic ... wait, I mean, Greek ... name for "Barack" -- to death. To death!!
Nobody deserves to die! Except a fetus. And that's what we'd get if McCain and Palin win! Death! And not for fetuses. But for good people, who shouldn't die, like murderers and child rapists.
We must learn from history!
And not just from things that happened millions of years ago. But in recent history. Like the American Civil War.
The U.S. had just come out of the war with France, and the newly-formed Republican Party had introduced slavery to this nation. And the South ... that hot-bed of evil ... declared war on the United States after a Democrat, Abraham Lincoln, was elected president.
The Republicans, led by Jefferson Davis McCain (the founder of Halliburton) split off from the country after kidnapping all the African-Americans and forcing them to work in the cotton fields, taking all the jobs previously done by the Mexicans.
It was a long and bloody war, with right-wing religious zealots ... Methodists ... driving their horse and buggies into buildings, killing millions and millions of Americans.
Our great American president, Abraham -- that's a Jewish name, meaning "Barack" -- Lincoln, a two-term Democrat, led the Americans to victory. And without a war. He talked and talked until the South surrendered.
But, after the war ... I mean negotiations ... Confederate vice president John Wilkes Bush, a Republican, murdered Lincoln while he was watching a movie.
The Republicans continued to terrorize America, following the Civil War, all throughout the 17th, 18th, and 19th centuries.
In the 1960s, the country was again at war.
Peace-loving students were bombing administration buildings at college campuses all across the nation. But, in the South, George Wallace, Georgia's Republican governor, killed Dr. Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy, plunging the nation into the Vietnam War.
And this path of war has continued in the years since.
After Jimmy Carter ended the Vietnam War, Republican Ronald Reagan took us to war with Iraq. His vice president, George Bush, continues that war to this day.
The evils perpetrated upon this flawed country of ours by the Republicans must not be forgotten. They must, in fact, be remembered. And remembered in this way.
We must avoid the mistakes of the past. We must elect Barack J. Obama as our next Führer ... I mean president ... so he can lead us out of bondage. And into a Brave New World.
Thank you.

Monday, October 13, 2008

I enjoy the lolcatz. And I really enjoy Harvey's lolteriztposts.
I'm trying to learn how to do those. Funny, I mean. Any old loser can slap a lame caption on a lame picture.
So, I'm asking your your help.
With it being political season ... as opposed to wabbit season or duck season ... I'd like to do some lolpix of a political nature.
I only lack one thing: talent.
So, I'm asking for your suggestions. Come up with a better caption.
Funny would be good. True would be good. Funny-true would be fabulous.

Scoring
For every "a" give yourself 1 point.
For every "b" give yourself 1 point.
For every "c" give yourself 1 point.
Rate your knowledge
If you scored 9, you passed.
If you scored less than 9, please spend November 4 watching cartoons. We'll all be the better for it.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Tonight's Top Ten List. The "Top Ten Reasons to vote for Barack Obama."
Paul? Got that? "Top Ten reasons to vote for Barack Obama." There's an election here in the States. You may have read about it in the paper. I think it's been on Page Six.
Okay. Here we go. "The Top Ten reasons to vote for Barack Obama." Number Ten...
Um...
Hmmm...
. . .
*ahem*
Good night, everybody!

Friday, October 10, 2008

The Wife has discovered books by Stephenie Meyer. And she's dove into them with everything she's got.
Not sure what got her started on the first one, "Twilight," but one night, she plopped down in her chair, tossed me the remote (unusual in and of itself), opened a book, and started reading.
She read it at every chance. Something about teenagers and vampires, best as I can tell.
Anyway, before she was done, went to Amazon.com and bought the entire series: "New Moon," "Eclipse," and "Breaking Dawn."
Before they came in, she borrowed book 2 from a friend and read it. And then read the next two when the Amazon.com shipment arrived.
Then, went to the store and bought another book by Meyer.
Now, she's going through Stephenie Meyer withdrawal. She's even agreeing to go to the movies with me -- which I love doing; she hates doing it -- just so she can watch the big screen trailer for "Twilight" (in theatres November 21st, she's informed me).
So, what to do? What to do?
As it turned out, she's looking for more vampire books.
She's reading something now called "One Bite With A Stranger."
It ain't no Stephenie Meyer book. It's Harlequin Romance meets Dracula.
When she reads it, she gets this ... look ... on her face. She'll put her hand up to her mouth, her eyes will get big and narrow at the same time (quite a trick, try it).
Here's a random passage:

Lisette the Slavic Slut had happened, Reggie acknowledged, trying very hard not to picture the little blond bimbo bent over Greg's desk with her skirt hiked around her waist and her G-string tangled around her ankles. Reggie had been late date with Greg and hadn't thought anything about walking right into his office when she saw Lisette's empty desk. She thought the woman had been taking a break. Instead, she'd been taking it doggy-style from Reggie's fiancé.

Well!
I don't know if she's going to get the rest of that series, "The Others." And I don't know how I feel about it.
Depends, I guess, on whether she gets any good ideas.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

I'm glad to see the McCain campaign is finally kicking it up a notch.
They're holding Obama's feet to the fire concerning his association with terrorists, such as William Ayers:
The mainstream media is in the tank for Obama on this, failing to ask the hard questions, or follow up on the BS answers Obama and his flunkies give.
It's up to alternative media to get the word out.
And that's you!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) - Barack Obama and John McCain clashed repeatedly over the causes and cures for the worst economic crisis in 80 years Tuesday night. Both Democrat nominee Sen. Barack J. Obama (D-EU) and Republican candidate Sen. John McCain (D-AZ) spent 7-1/2 hours attacking the policies of the Bush Administration. Media observers, as well as viewers polled afterward, indicated the clear winner was President Bush.
Observer Olsen Johnson, of the nearby town of Rock Ridge, who describes himself as an independent, says neither Obama nor McCain resonated with him.
"Didn't neither one of them fellas tell me a whole lot," Johnson said. "They come up with all kinds of ways to spend my money, but neither said much about me keeping my money. I'm just tryin' to figure out which one's gonna leave me enough to buy groceries."
"Olsen Johnson is right," said observer Van Johnson. "They kept tellin' me how much they wasn't going to be like George Bush. But, you know what? At least, with George Bush, I know what I'm getting."
Another viewer, who identified himself only as "Mongo," summed up the feeling of most of the crowd, saying, "Mongo only pawn in game of life."
Polling conducted in the hours following the debate showed dramatic losses by both the McCain and Obama camps. Each candidate is now hovering between 20 and 23% support. President Bush gained dramatically by his performance in the debate, with his support just under 30%.
"The only way anyone could win a debate with these two is to not show up," said Washington Post columnist Charles Krauthammer. "McCain nearly won the first debate with this strategy, but showed up at the last minute. With both candidates running against President Bush, it paved the path for Bush to take the lead in this race."
If Bush maintains his lead, Republicans would consider it a third term for the 43rd president. However, because the Democrats don't recognize Bush's win in 2000, a victory in November would give Bush his 2nd term.

NBC took some flack earlier today for removing a post that trashed Democrats (and others) for the bailout and associated runup.
They've reposted it, removing some text that could cause legal issues. Here's the edited version:
SNL is not exactly fair and balanced, but it is nice to see them throw the right wing a bone.

Monday, October 6, 2008

What the different donors see:What the computer screen sees #1: At a nearby university
"Dude, does your dad know you're using his credit card to donate to Obama?"
"No way! My old man would never let me hear the end of it."
"Doesn't he check his credit card statement?"
"No."
"Sweet!"
What the computer screen sees #2: In a blue state
"Obama says I need to have hope."
"I believe in Obama."
"And the Tooth Fairy."
"Yeah, the Tooth Fairy. I love you, Tooth Fairy."
"And aliens."
"Yeah, I saw an alien once."
"The alien told me to vote for Obama."
What the computer screen sees #3: At a typical Obama donor's residence
"How much did you give that time?"
"1000 U.S American dollars."
"Yeah, me too."
"How many times have you done that?"
"Today? That's the 8th time."
"My 9th."
"But I gave 12 times yesterday."
What the computer screen sees #4: At another typical Obama donor's residence
"That old Barry. Glad to see he's making a name for himself. His grades in school weren't that great, but he's sure come a long way. He's my hero."

Sunday, October 5, 2008

The McCain campaign is filing a complaint with the Federal Elections Commission.
Why?
Because several of the donations the Obama campaign has received are ... how shall we say this ... questionable.
Fake names.
Fake addresses.
But real money.
Lots and lots of money.
And documented cases from overseas, including Palestinians in Gaza.
But it could have been nipped in the bud, according to a Newsweek report:

This summer, watchdog groups asked both campaigns to share more information about its small donors. The McCain campaign agreed; the Obama campaign did not. "They could've done themselves a service" by heeding the suggestions, said Massie Ritsch of the Center for Responsive Politics.

So, who's shocked that the Obama campaign didn't want to share information about all those donors?
Who knows what all someone will find if they dig enough?

How the AP sees Bill Ayers:
How Bill Ayers really looks:
The AP's Douglass K. Daniel wrote that GOP vice-presidential candidate Gov. Sarah Palin made comments that "carried a racially tinged subtext" when she said that Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama "palled around with terrorists."
Gov. Palin brought out the fact that Obama is buddies with a terrorist. The AP said that comment is racially charged. I guess the fact that the terrorist is White is completely lost on the media.

Finally!
The McCain campaign is finally taking Barack Obama to task for his terrorist buddies.
Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK), the Republican vice-presidential nominee, criticized Obama's long relationship with Bill Ayers.
For those that don't know, Bill Ayers was part of the Weather Underground. Ayers bombed New York City police headquarters, the U.S. Capitol building, and the Pentagon.
Obama and Ayers knew each other at college, and Obama kicked off his first campaign at Ayers' house.
Palin is doing what the GOP has needed to do for a long time: take Obama to task for his association with left-wing radicals.
Then, again, who else would a left-wing radical hang around with, but other left-wing radicals?

Just hoping some of the Obamacrats in my family will accidentally see this and come to their senses.
Will it help them?
Probably not. Anyone still for Obama this late in the day may be a lost cause.
I just hope they don't drag the country down with them.

Went to the movies today.
Saw An American Carol. And it's indeed a comedy for Americans. Liberals wouldn't like it one bit.
I've enjoyed many of David Zucker's movies: Kentucky Fried Movie, Airplane!, Top Secret!, The Naked Gun franchise ... you know, silly, silly movies that are laugh-out-loud funny.
And, An American Carol is that: laugh-out-loud funny.
But, certain parts were not funny.
Oh, they'd have been funny, say, 10-15 years ago. Before the scenes went from funny to true.
By that, I mean, yes, some parts would have been funny ... if they weren't true.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the movie. And, yes, I laughed out loud. But, when they'd have one of the characters do or say something totally off the wall, I'd sometimes recognize it as ... well, not satire, but truth.
That's because some of the targets weren't being spoofed, but accurately portrayed. Oh, they said stupid, silly stuff; the thing is, the people that were being spoofed actually believe that stupid, silly stuff.
An example? Sure. Rosie O'Connell (a parody of Rosie O'Donnell) quoted the actual Rosie O'Donnell regarding fire and steel and the World Trade Center. That would have been laughable if it had been a comedy line. Instead, it's the kind of nonsense that O'Donnell and her left-wing wackos believe.
In other words, it would have been funny, except it was true.
And it happens a lot in the movie. I could be here all day telling about it. But I won't.
But it just goes to show you how far off kilter some crazies in this country are. You can no longer make fun of them because nothing said in jest can be as outrageous as the way they really are.
But, back to the movie.
I enjoyed it. A lot.
It had a lot of the really bad humor, but "good" bad humor. You know. Like other Zucker films.
And it had one scene ...
Jon Voight as Gen. George Washington is a short, but very powerful, scene.
Went back to the comedy right after that, with Trace Adkins as "The Angel of Freakin' Death" to lighten the tone again.
Bill O'Reilly had a couple of good lines. And I was surprised to see Paris Hilton playing, well, Paris Hilton, in a movie where she doesn't suck.
The movie was, as you can tell, uneven at times, but the most important thing about any movie is the question, "Did you enjoy it?"
I did.

This week, in Columbus, a couple was car-jacked.
Okay, I realize this goes on it big cities all the time. Or, at least, that's the impression I get. But when it happens in Columbus, Georgia, it's news.
The bad news is: an elderly couple, 82-year-old Henry White and 79-year-old Betty White, was forced out of their car at gunpoint, and their car taken.
The good news: It had On*Star.
Yep, a bunch of thugs ... teenage punks ... stole a car from an old couple.
But technology got them.

When the two teens sped out of sight, Henry White ran to his friend's front door and started pounding. He first called 911 first then OnStar, an auto safety and security system available in GM vehicles. Within minutes, OnStar had determined the location and direction of travel of the stolen car

Heh. Bunch of ill-raised, bone-headed thugs stole a car with On*Star. And On*Star found them. And, according to the report, the police found all three of the criminals.
Now, this shows that On*Star won't stop your car from being stolen.
But they can help you find it.
I wouldn't want my car stolen. It's not a Cadillac, like Mr. White's car, but it's still my car.
But, if someone does take my car, it's nice to know that On*Star can help me find it.
If only On*Star service included sending somebody down to beat the little punks with a 2x4. Then, the service would really rock.