2018 Goals

In the new year, my goals need to be solid and definable, reachable and challenging. It’s important to me that I challenge myself to do more than I thought possible. Last year, I didn’t post my goals, because I was afraid I would fail, and it would be humiliating. This year, I share my goals in the spirit of trying, and with the hope that accountability will make it easier to manage.

Without further ado, my goals.

Get Into Cosmetology School

This goal is more for my career, than anything else. I’ve discovered a love for looking good, and I want to learn more about making others look good too. So this is a chance to see if a more hands-on career helps me.

Publish Two Books

I’m very close to publishing a short story, Ring of Roses, and I’m in the middle of rewrites for Knight of Kuryle. The goal is to get two books under my belt by the end of the year so that I can officially call myself a published author. That should add another notch of confidence under my belt.

Get My Weight Down to 135 lbs.

This one is a very personal goal for me. I’ve been trying to get back into amateur modeling, and I have to get back into shape for it.

Keep Up With The House

I haven’t been able to keep up with the housework, and it’s causing some issues. Therefore, I have to make a resolution. This one is more for my survival than anything else, I think.

Read Twelve Books

I want to get back into reading, and last year, my goal was to read 1 book a month. I’m going with that goal again this year because it’s attainable and easily done. I’m really looking forward to it.

Daily Affirmations

This one may seem a little hokey, but honestly, it’s something I want to work on. Doing my affirmations daily should help build up my confidence and change my inner speech to the point where I can change my reactions to the world around me. I really suggest this for anyone who needs a fresh perspective on the world.

Call The Boyfriend Weekly

For those of you who don’t know, I’m in a long-distance relationship right now. Communication is key, in all relationships, and I want to be able to communicate with him.

Daily Exercise for Thirty Minutes

This is part of getting back in shape. According to several studies, thirty minutes of exercise daily can hedge off lots of medical issues.

Post On the Blog Biweekly

I want to give you guys more content and reach further in my fanbase.

Post A Youtube Video Biweekly

For those of you who don’t know, I have a youtube channel where you can watch Live Write-Ins, Dramatic Readings, and Various Vlogs. I intend to grow my audience on this platform this year, by becoming more dependable.

Quite a list, isn’t it? I’ve broken it down into quarterly goals that should help quite a bit with acheiving these goals. So without further ado, my First Quarter Goals:

The first day of Yule began perfectly, with a snowstorm that threatened to close all the shops in Theon. Yumil was quite content to see that there was, in fact, a sort of justice in nature. Now that Vell’s protection was gone, the once eternally-vernal land seemed almost desperate to restore order. This was the first harsh winter anyone in Kuryle could remember. No one had been prepared.

Dirk had been working alongside the rest of the castle to try and provide furs and food to those who had not thought to stock up and were braving the winter cold to come get some. Yumil, newly freed from the devil that had been his greatest source of power, was no longer tied to Dirk magically. But somehow, he’d been unable to go back to a solitary life in the Tower. Now, he came down quite often, just to see the great brute of a man.

There was still no word on whether Dirk accepted his feelings or not.

That first day of Yule, however, was quite splendid. The entire castle was decorated with holly and tinsel. Stars were everywhere, and Yumil could admit that he helped a little, providing magical lights that floated throughout the Priest-Queen’s home. The snow was blowing fiercely outside, and very few people were braving the cold. Which meant that Dirk had a little bit of time to spend.

Unfortunately, it seemed Yumil’s apprentice wanted all that time to himself. He tried not to be jealous of the boy, after all, Dirk and Jorgan had been together long before Yumil joined the picture. The two had been close friends, and in Jorgan’s eyes, Dirk was as much a father as anyone could have. Yumil didn’t begrudge this relationship, in fact, he was glad for it. No one was more worthy of hero worship than Dirk.

However, watching the two of them while they played soldiers on the floor of Dirk and Jorgan’s room made it difficult to think of anything other than a parent and a child. Laying out on the carefully knotted rug, Dirk’s long form seemed hunched, as if he were trying to make himself smaller to match the other form on the rug. The two of them were deep in a battle that had been raging for hours. As far as Yumil could tell, the only rule was that Jorgan was winning and would stay that way.

Yumil sprawled across Dirk’s bed, bare feet on Dirk’s pillow. His long hair was plaited into a five strand braid that Lette had taught him, which shortened the weighty length of it quite a bit. His golden eyes crawled over Dirk’s form, and he had to admit, the warmth in his chest was the sweetest feeling he’d ever felt. Nothing compared to watching Dirk when he was happy.

“Oh!” Dirk stopped what he was doing as if he’d just remembered something. Yumil sat up on his forearms, as Dirk went to his chest and opened it. He pulled out two packages wrapped in brown paper and tied in string. One was deposited immediately into Jorgan’s waiting hands. The other was fussed over for a moment, Dirk making sure the bow of the string showed prominently.

This package was held out to Yumil.

He stared at it for a moment, unsure what to do. Then, realizing he was supposed to take it, he reached up, letting his fingers brush against Dirk’s as he took the package. Glancing to Jorgan, who was tearing into the paper with abandon, he took his cue. Opening the package, he found a swath of knitted cloth. Pulling out the beautiful, soft cloth, he found a woolen sweater, thick and warm and a soft grey color. He held the cloth to his face, and it was just a tiny bit scratchy. Somehow that little imperfection made it all the more precious. He’d seen Dirk working the wool, but had assumed it would be more socks.

“Thank you.” He managed through his choking throat. Tears threatened to spring to his eyes, although he fought it down.

“Happy Yule.” Dirk beamed, obviously happy with Yumil’s response. In that moment, Yumil realized Dirk was probably waiting for a reciprocal gift. He racked his brain for something that would please the soldier, and when his brain hit on something that might, Yumil called it from his laboratory to his hand.

“Happy Yule to you as well.” The gift wasn’t in a package or wrapped, as Dirk’s had been. It was a crystal vial, with a stopper in the top. Dirk pulled out the stopper, and took a sniff. Then he blinked, and took a deeper breath of the scent.

“…Oleanders.” Dirk commented, before smiling.

“I know they remind you of home.” Although Yumil wasn’t sure why Dirk would WANT to be reminded of that place, he knew that the other man did. So, this perfume, at least, he could provide. “It will last all day, and mingle with your own scent, so that it’s unobtrusive.”

“Thank you.” Dirk’s voice was soft, and there was something in his eyes that made Yumil’s heart beat faster.

“Think nothing of it.”

Of course, this was the point when Jorgan demanded a present as well.

The next day, the snow stopped. Yumil woke Dirk with his gift early this time. Plopping down on Dirk’s bed, he was unsurprised when a roan-headed boy popped up, confused and tired. He patted Jorgan’s head and pointed towards the boy’s gift, which garnered him a squeal of delight, and Jorgan’s vacating of Dirk’s bed.

Dirk was a bit harder to wake, groaning and rolling over to take over the warm spot that Jorgan had left. Yumil smirked, and found himself wanting to tease the dark-skinned man. He leaned in, kissed the spot just in front of Dirk’s ear, and whispered, “Time to wake up, lover.”

“Mnnnnf’koff.” Dirk mumbled, not falling for Yumil’s teasing even in his sleep. The dark-haired mage laughed, and shook Dirk’s shoulder to rouse him properly.

“Come on, Dirk. It’s time to open your second gift.”

This got him a blue eye, distrustful and tired. He smiled and held up a package. This one he’d thought about more thoroughly, and he knew it would be appreciated. Dirk was the athletic type, after all.

“Fine.” Dirk mumbled, sitting up and kicking off the blankets. Yumil was treated to the sight of naked chest, which Dirk didn’t bother to cover. The innocence! Yumil wanted to lick those abs.

He handed over the package dutifully, and watched as Dirk tore away the paper, ignoring the bright red ribbon on it. When he got it open, he found a pair of boots with blades at the bottom. Ice skates. Dirk’s face lit up, and he turned to Yumil.

“Of course.” He made a gesture and his own skates appeared out of nowhere. He grinned, “I’m going to skate the pants off you.”

Dinner later was Dirk’s treat, a meal for the three of them at the fanciest restaurant in Theon. Everyone skirted around their table, staring in awe at the mage who’d destroyed half the town. Yumil felt out of place, but Dirk’s smile kept him from bolting. He enjoyed the meal very much. Enough that he only accused Dirk of cheating his way out of a Yuletide gift once.

So it went, little trinkets passed back and forth for twelve days. Yumil’s favorite, though he’d never say so, was the hand-carved chicken Dirk gave him, saying that it matched his personality. Yumil had given Dirk a real chicken in exchange, so the whole evening was spent making egg-puns.

Then came the final day, and Yumil had his riskiest gift yet. It was wrapped in silk, and Yumil wasn’t sure if Dirk would like it. He’d had to search for hours through the tower to find one that was just right. It was harrowing, thinking that maybe it wouldn’t be good enough.

When he presented the blade to Dirk, however, it was as if he’d pulled the sword from the proverbial stone and handed it to Dirk. Dirk tested it, a few practice swings to feel out the balance (which was bloody perfect, by the by) and then, unceremoniously dropped the sword. Yumil made an affronted noise, and an aborted motion to pick up the blade he’d spent time tracking down.

That is, until Dirk’s hands wrapped around his shoulders and kept him still. Yumil felt the breath leave him, as those blue eyes stared at him, vibrant and alive. He swallowed back the sudden rush of emotions rising in his throat. Dirk smiled, just the corner of his mouth, and then darted in.

The kiss was both the longest and shortest moment Yumil had ever experienced. It was perfect.

Like this:

In a desperate bid to come up with blogging topics, I’ve been referring to this blog post on Julie Jarnagin’s blog. It houses a number of amazing blogging ideas, and for today I’ve picked to write about my favorite book. The problem is, I have so many favorite books and such vague reasons for liking them, that I decided to do a list of books I love. Specifically, five books I love, and one book I hate.

Number One: Dragon Bones by Patricia Briggs

I think I’ve gushed about this one before, but oh my gosh is this a beautiful book. I’ve read it three times now, and each time, I find something new to love. However, what always brings me back to it, is the unique and genuine relationship between Ward and Oreg. The book is a coming of age tale for Ward, but the story is so much more than just that. There’s ancient magic, dragons, and wonder to be found within its pages.

On a secondary note, please read the sequel, Dragon Blood, because it is equally powerful, and Ward and Oreg’s relationship is amazing there. Plus, you get to see Oreg slowly grow into his own person, which is just as cathartic as it sounds. This is the only series I’ve read by Patricia Briggs, but I would read her other works on the recommendation of this one alone.

Number Two: Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami

There is something magical about the way this book is written that makes me want to just shriek to the heavens. While I did not enjoy the sexual content myself, the rest of the book was absolutely spellbinding.

Without spoiling too much, the book is told from the narrative perspective of a young man. However, there is a switch every other chapter or so, to a third person perspective story of what is going on with other characters around the tale. This unique way of telling the story is what mesmerized me at first, and the great characters kept me going the entire time. I wanted so much to be able to visit the places described in this book.

Give it a read, you won’t be dissapointed.

Number Three: The Black Swan by Mercedes Lackey

The Black Swan is a wonderful retelling of Swan Lake, from the perspective of Odile, who is often called the Black Swan. In this, she is a young sorceress, under the training of her father.

The relationship between Odile and the swans, and Odile and her father are the really compelling parts of this book. The beautiful settings help put it a cut above the rest. And the ending which is, of course, happy gives closure to a story of abuse that honestly needed telling. I love this book more than I can say, and I really hope you read it on my recomendation.

Number Four: Dungeon Born by Dakota Krout

Dungeon Born is an amazing book set in a Dungeons and Dragons-esque world. The entire premise is based on the idea that dungeons are created by sentient creatures trapped in Dungeon Cores. Deep in lore and context, this book is a treasure, and I’m glad I read it.

The main character, Cal, is a dungeon heart, one of the sentient creatures that create dungeons for adventurers to explore. The strange sort of morality he develops for himself is absolutely fascinating, as are the mechanics of his control over his ‘body’. The characters are delightful, and the settings vivid and rich. Please give yourself permission to enjoy this lovely book.

Number Five: Shades of Milk And Honey by Mary Robinette Kowal

If you’re a fan of Regency Era historical romance, this is an amazing book that you’ll never forget. This book is entirely set in the regency era, when the Marriage Mart was in full swing. The main character is a wonderful girl, who happens to be gifted in Glamour, the use of magic to make illusions.

The entire book is the story of how she falls in love and finds herself among the dour trappings of regency era life. The characters have a great realness to them, a sort of down-home essence that makes the entire book enjoyable, despite some second hand embarrasment on behalf of a few characters.

And finally, Book Six: The Siren by Kiera Cass

This book dissapointed me, quite thoroughly. For such a unique premise, I expected a more unique romance story. But it reads just like a contemperary romance, rather than the fantasy romp I had been hoping for. The book just felt uninspired to me, despite how well the characters worked together. The setting was forgettable, the dialogue was iffy, and I wouldn’t reccomend copying the pacing on this one at all.

Please reconsider before reading this book.

And that is my list of five books I loved and one I hated. Thank you very much for reading through my opinions, and I hope this inspires you to make your own list. I had a lot of fun compiling this, and I’m more than happy to give more recomendations if anyone wants them.

Like this:

As an attempt to help you all get to know me better, I’ve decided to put a bit of personality into the blog. I’m doing what every kid nowadays does, a ‘day in the life’ blog. Maybe then people will see what it’s like to be me, and get some kind of inspiration out of me. That’d be nice, to help others with their own problems and projects!

6:06 am – I am awoken with a phone call from my best friend. I’ve slept horribly all night, waking up many times and rolling over and going back to sleep. My best friend asks if I can come upstairs because she needs help getting the kids ready for school.

6:10 am – I manage to drag myself out of bed and take my meds for the morning. Then I grab my wallet and my planner and my phone, and I head upstairs. Notice I did not say I change out of my pjs, which are a pair of pj pants with cats all over them, and a Rage Hoodie as seen below.

6:12 am – I am upstairs now, and guiding a whiney 8-years-old through getting his shoes on, getting his backpack ready and brushing his hair up into a ponytail. He’s got school soon, and I have to drive him. I have some Honey Biscuits for breakfast and mark it down on my phone calorie counter. I just use the regular Samsung Health app on my phone. I’m on a diet that only allows me 1600 calories in a day.

6:40 am – I go out and check the car for ice. There’s a little bit of frost, so in the 18 degrees cold, I sit in the car, shivering my butt off while I defrost the car. The eight-year-old comes out with his tablet, and we sit in the car until…

6:50 am – I drive the Durango across town to the boy’s school, listening to Pandora along the way. I drop him off, telling him we love him and to have a good day, and then I drive back home.

7:38 am – I get home, and despite being sick, and tired, I check on the dishes in the dishwasher. They have not come clean, so I rinse and run them again. Then, I check on the four-year-old. Her dad is watching her, which is a nice change. He’s usually too busy with work or hurting too much to be able to. Poor guy.

7:49 am – I lay down on the couch for a bit, closing my eyes. The four-year-old proceeds to poke me in the face. I pick her up and wrap her up in my arms, and lay there with her until we have to get ready to go.

8:15 am – I get the four-year-old ready for school, her clothes changed, her shoes on her feet and her backpack packed with pull-ups and a new set of clothes, just in case.

8:30 am – The toddler and I get in the car, and drive the five minute drive to her school. We get there, and then sit in chairs outside her classroom. I read her a book. I read on my phone about new hairstyles and how to do them, and new writing processes and prompts.

9:00 am – The door opens to her classroom, and I go in, sign her in, and tell her teacher I won’t be staying for ‘grown up time’ (which is the fifteen minutes of class when the grownups help their toddlers with various activities) because I have a doctor’s appointment. What I really have is a therapy appointment. But I don’t want her to think I’m crazy. I want her to think I’m nice and well adjusted.

9:06 am – I arrive back home. I check the washer, and the dryer, and find that the washer is empty. So I start a load of laundry. Meanwhile, my best friend is sleeping in her bed. Her husband is dozing on the couch. I decide to take a small nap too, before my therapy.

9:30 am – I leave the house for my therapy. I drive the five-minute drive it takes to get to the building, and park in the back. There is an odd young man back there, holding a piece of paper and looking lost. I don’t speak to him. I go up the stairs and check in at the front desk. The front desk lady then tells me that she has me down for thursday, rather than Tuesday (today). So, back home I go.

9:55 am – I get home, again. This time, I spend some time picking up the living room floor. Trash in the trashcan, and toys in the children’s bedrooms. Around 10:30, I start having trouble breathing. I go to my roommate/best friend and explain as such, and she tells me to go lay down. I’ve been sick for two days now, and I overworked myself yesterday at a photoshoot with a good friend of mine. I get my computer from downstairs (where my room is), and go lay on the couch, writing up the first page of my new short story. I fall asleep with my computer on my lap.

11:30 am – My alarm goes off, letting me know it’s time to go get the little girl from preschool. Before I leave, my roommate gives me a 20$ and asks me to go to Big Lots to get something for her. I get in the car, drive the five minutes and park in the handicap parking spot. I put down the handicap tag, and head into the school. I sit for fifteen minutes, until the teacher opens the door at….

12:00 pm – I sign out the little girl, gather up her belongings, and take her hand. We go out to the car, and I turn on GPS to take me to Big Lots. We drive, and park. I get the toddler out of the car, and we go into the store. I make a beeline for what we need, grab it off the shelf, and then spend a few minutes looking at the pretty cosmetics. My roommate had said I could use a dollar for myself if I wanted. The toddler found a one dollar package of nail polish that she oohed and aaahed over, so I bought it for her. Then, I got back into the car. Realizing there was a Sally’s Beauty store nearby, I parked again and called my roommate to see if she would allow me to purchase an 8 dollar bottle of pedicure solution for her poor, cracking feet. She declined, and so we headed home.

1:13 pm – We arrive home at last, and my best friend is awake and out on the couch. I put the sleeping toddler, who has fallen asleep due to the car ride, into her bed. I then sit down on the couch and check my email. Nothing interesting to report there. My roommate proposes that we go to Walmart after picking up the eight-year-old. I agree, knowing that it will make dinner late.

1: 50 pm – We get in the car, me and my roommate, leaving the sleeping toddler in the care of her father. We drive to the school and sit in the handicap parking spot until 3:30. During this time, I read on my phone, I sleep, and I converse with my roommate.

3:30 pm – I go into the school to pick up the boy from after-school tutoring. We don’t have time for him to be tutored today, we have errands to run. He asks if he can have a prize at the store. I tell him I’ll discuss it with his mother. At the door of the car, he discusses it with her instead, and she agrees, so long as he is good.

3:45 pm – We arrive at the Walmart after a car cut me off on the highway. I honked my horn for the first time today. It was very relieving. We go into the store and purchase several items, none of which were directly meant for me.

4:38 pm – We get home. Dinner is going to be very late. I put together a dinner out of a box, and put it in the oven to bake for an hour, per the directions. Then, I go to my roommate and explain that I’m very anxious and don’t know what to do. She talks me down, explains that I’ve done enough today, I can sit and rest my ankle, which has been hurting for a week. So I sit, and rest until dinner comes out of the oven. Occasionally, I get up to fetch something for her.

5:30 pm – Dinner time. The children barely touch the food, and I forget to put food in my tracker.

6: 48 pm – The toddler finally goes to sleep, and I carry her into her room. Her bedtime is normally 6 pm. I come back out and watch an episode of an anime with my roommate and her husband and son. I write more on my short story and take off the ankle brace I’d been wearing. It had bruised the other side of my ankle, making both sides hurt. I tried icing it at my roommate’s request.

7:30 pm – The eight-year-old starts his meditation before bed. It really helps him get to sleep. I’m still writing this blog post at this time.

8:04 pm – The eight-year-old goes to bed. We, adults, decide to split up for the night, and I head downstairs to finish this blog post.

It is now 8:37 pm where I am, and I am laying in bed, typing away on this blog post. It’s amusing to see just how much I’ve done in a day. I hope someone finds this interesting. I hope to get some sleep soon. Thank you, and write up your own daily life, see how creative it really is.

Like this:

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer – aim for a dozen new people each time – and return comments. This group is all about connecting! Be sure to link to this page and display the badge in your post.

Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!

Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG

This Month’s Question: Have you ever surprised yourself with your writing? For example, by trying a new genre you didn’t think you’d be comfortable in??

My answer:

No. I don’t think I ever have. To be honest, I’ve tried writing just about everything that has come into my head to write, and it’s always the same errors that hold me back. Bad plot structure, poorly designed characters, poorly designed narrative, badly done world building. I’m always held back by my flaws.

My advice to anyone feeling held back by their flaws is this: Confront them head on. Over-design a character, if you’re used to under-designing them. Overthink the world they live in, if you’re used to winging it on world building. Study plot-structures. Study the way you write, and then study ways to make it better. Don’t just give up.

Like this:

My lovely friend Briana Herr has tagged me in her Writing Habits Blogger Tag. This means that I’m forced to reveal to the world the things that make me tick! Things like what faces I make while writing and what coffee I drink! How scandalous!

Without further ado, let’s get started!

Where do you go write and what does it look like?

Most often I write in my room. I have a basement room with walls painted lavender, and my bed is right next to my desk. I have a large TV with a Roku that plays wonderful music, either from Pandora or from Youtube. I sit at my desk, in my rickety rolly-chair that needs to have blankets piled on it for it to be comfortable, and I write. This is the only way I am productive.

Sometimes I write in my bed, which is very comfortable, but I rarely get many words out because I tend to fall asleep.

Snacks or drinks?

Both. I prefer soda to be honest with you. Pepsi if I can afford it, if not Sam’s Cola. I love munching on salted roasted peanuts while writing, or chips. Sometimes I get chips and salsa for while I’m writing. Other times I’ll make a bowl of ramen or some leftovers. Basically, it depends on how hungry I am.

Do you like to write with noise or in total silence?

This depends on my ADD brain. Because of my ADD, I have sensitivity to stimulae. This means that too much of anything becomes distracting. This means that if I have music going, I get distracted. However, on the flipside, if I sit in silence, I become anxious. So I have to find that sweet spot between the two.

I’d love to say that there are rules like “no lyrics” or “drums only” that works for me, but nothing ever works the same two days in a row. So I don’t really have any kind of preference, I just want to find balance.

Paper or computer?

Computer, all the way. I can’t sit still long enough to write on paper anymore.

what do you do before you start to write?

I put the kids to sleep, and then gather up soda, my computer, and anything else I’ve left upstairs. Then I take it all downstairs and sit in my uncomfy chair. After that, I whine a bit to my friend Briana, and after that, I get to writing. Often I manage somewhere between 200-2000 words.

What time of day do you like to write?

I like to write in the late evening. I can’t do early mornings because I have to care for the children as soon as they get up, and I can’t write during the day because there’s too much to do.

This months question: What are your pet peeves when reading/writing/editing?

To answer this, I think I’m going to split it up into three different sections. My pet peeves are very different, depending on whether I’m reading, writing, or editing. Pet peeves in general are very different, depending on who it is that’s doing the writing, what it is I’m editing, and where I am when I’m reading.

My general pet peeves when I’m reading are:

When I can’t get comfy

When the author misspells something

When something the author says contradicts something I know

When there’s a plothole

When the book focuses on a character I hate

Pet Peeves for when I’m writing:

When a sentence feels wrong but looks right

When a scene won’t close itself

Writing love scenes

Pet Peeves for editing:

Adding description

Editing specific POVs

I don’t have as many POVs for Editing, but that’s only because I’m only JUST experiencing the hell that is editing. So please, don’t think I don’t have any others. I just haven’t discovered them yet.

So recently, I’ve been getting more into Twitter, and that means learning about Twitter Chats. For those, like myself, who are still new to them, I’ll try to explain as simply as I can.

You pick a hashtag, do a hashtag search for that hashtag, and then keep refreshing the search over and over, and people will reply using this hashtag. You can reply to those in the hashtag as well by tweeting while using the hashtag.

As an example, say I’m watching #litparty (not a real tag, that I know of), if I wanted to reply to DavidMore who said “Who all is working on their WIP? #litparty”, I would click tweet on the same page as the search, and it would automatically generate the hashtag for me. So I could then reply “Me, me, ooooh me! #LitParty” with ease.

A good gentleman named Devin provided me with a list of chats for the week, and so I’m including it in this list. Please keep in mind when you find this that these tags could go bunk or their hosts could drop them at any time. Meaning that the second I put this down, it is probably inaccurate.

Today’s IWSG post kind of snuck up on me. Normally, I have them planned out in advance, and only just post them the day of the post. But this time, I had a very full day and did not even think to post anything. So now I’m writing this at ten pm in a hotel room, surrounded by people trying to go to sleep. Included in that list is the person sharing a bed with me, who happens to be a three year old little girl. Poor thing sleeps like a drunken octopus at a frat party. Hands everywhere. Feet in faces. It’s tragic.

But my IWSG is about fear today. Because I find that this new manuscript I’ve just started (Oh did I mention I finished a manuscript? Because I did. I’m so proud of that.) has me so afraid of it that it’s hard to even write what happens next. Every time I sit down to write it, something changes, and my original outline becomes nothing more than a guideline. This is terrifying to me.

Not only that, but whenever I sit down to write it, my anxiety kicks up, and I start thinking that maybe I’m not good enough to write it. That maybe I’m just trying to figure out a way to kill time, and this isn’t the right story to be told. I sit down, and I think “I can’t do this.”

But I do. I pound out words every day. Not a lot of words. I’m certainly winning no speed prize for this manuscript. But I am writing every day, thanks to the Camp NaNoWriMo July and thanks to my amazing mentor, Chris Votey, who keeps me going. So here’s my advice to anyone plagued by fear when writing their manuscript:

Two! I’m going to be detailing the editing process as I go through and edit Knight of Kuryle, so keep an eye out for that.

And Three! I have some tentative covers of my own to reveal! The self-made covers for Knight of Kuryle and my current WIP, A Deeper Love, are below. Please tell me what you think, and any way that I can improve them! Thank you in advance, and have a great fourth of july!