Miss Right is a difficult movie to summarize. Reviews usually begin with a brief summary
statement, like "The Forgotten Nightmare is a rare German Expressionist comedy
... " This movie is so poor that I'm not even sure how to summarize it,
because I can't figure out why the filmmakers created it. I think they felt
they were making sort of an Italian-style sex comedy, but the attempts at
humor are so lame and the performances so unappealing that it's almost
impossible to call it a comedy. The only real "tell" is that the performers
act like they are in a comedy, delivering lines in the same tone
of voice as Catskills comedians waiting for the drummer to deliver a rim shot.
But the lines are all wrong. It's like they want to say, "Your mama is so fat
that she didn't have children, she had suburbs," but it comes out "Your mama
is so fat that she really should see a doctor."

Author/star William Tepper wrote this in 1982. As of the beginning of this
year, this was his only leading role and his only screenplay. He played only
two roles of any kind after this movie, and his last performing credit is in
1984. You might remember him. He's the guy who played Tom Hanks's doctor
friend in Bachelor Party. That was his last role. There is a happy ending to
his story, sort of. After being without a credit of any kind for two decades,
he now has another screenplay credit in 2006, a Ray Romano movie called
Grilled. While that comedy doesn't seem to be the next Duck Soup, it is rated
a respectable 5.3 at IMDb, compared to 2.0 for the atrocious Miss Right.
And that 2.0 seems a bit high to me. I rank it as the
second-worst comedy I've ever seen, losing out only to an invincible champion,
Adam Sandler's legendary Going Overboard, which is currently rated the
third-worst film of all time at IMDb.

What's it about?

An American living in Rome as a UPI stringer has decided to change his
life. He has recurring dreams and fantasies about a woman he can see quite
clearly, but does not know. He senses that the dream-girl is Miss Right,
and that his subconscious is warning him to start looking for his one true
love instead of dallying with his many hot girlfriends. In order to
accomplish this, he makes a dinner date with each of the hot girlfriends, in
each case so he can break off the relationship, ultimately leaving him free to
pursue his true love with a pure heart.

That's about it. He invites a bunch of women to his apartment, feeds them
and dumps them. Since they all adore him for reasons unclear to the audience
(hey, it's good to be the screenwriter), they react with varying degrees of despair. One half-heartedly
tries to commit suicide. Another refuses to leave, and when he physically
throws her out the door, she comes crashing back in through the window.

Astoundingly, his plan works. After he dumps the ballast from his life, he
sees the living incarnation of his dream-girl in the streets. He strikes up a
conversation and starts to romance her. There is the usual Italian-style
twist. In the last scene we see him bringing her flowers at her art class,
supposedly smitten with love, when he catches the eye of a beautiful art
student. He is flirting with the student with his eyes as he gives his "true
love" the flowers. The end.

I suppose I had the right idea in the first place. Maybe it is a German
Expressionist comedy.

DVD INFO

The DVD is every bit as bad as the film itself. There are no features, and
the film itself is obviously just a transfer of an old full screen,
pan-n-scan, VHS print.

NUDITY REPORT

It does include a little bit of flesh from three famous
women. Karen Black and Marie-France Pisier show their breasts. Margot Kidder shows
a plumber's crack, and then exposes the side of her nipple in exactly one frame.

The
Critics Vote ...

no major reviews online

The People
Vote ...

IMDB summary.
And that 2.0 might be a bit inflated because it includes a
few bogus 10s. The top IMDb voters score it 1.6 - and that
will now go down if I'm in that group.

The meaning of the IMDb
score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of
excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars
from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm
watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars
from the critics. The fives are generally not
worthwhile unless they are really your kind of
material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics,
or a C- from our system.
Films rated below five are generally awful even if you
like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one
and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less,
depending on just how far below five the rating
is.

Our own
guideline:

A means the movie is so good it
will appeal to you even if you hate the genre.

B means the movie is not
good enough to win you over if you hate the
genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an
open mind about this type of film. Any film rated B- or better
is recommended for just about anyone. In order to rate at
least a B-, a film should be both a critical and commercial
success. Exceptions: (1) We will occasionally rate a film B- with
good popular acceptance and bad reviews, if we believe the
critics have severely underrated a film. (2) We may also
assign a B- or better to a well-reviewed film which did not do well at the
box office if we feel that the fault lay in the marketing of
the film, and that the film might have been a hit if people
had known about it. (Like, for example, The Waterdance.)

C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but
will be considered excellent by people who enjoy this kind of
movie. If this is your kind of movie, a C+ and an A are
indistinguishable to you.

C
means it is competent, but uninspired genre fare. People who
like this kind of movie will think it satisfactory. Others
probably will not.

C- indicates that it we found it to
be a poor movie, but genre addicts find it watchable. Any film
rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of
film, but films with this rating should be approached with
caution by mainstream audiences, who may find them incompetent
or repulsive or both. If this is NOT your kind of movie, a C-
and an E are indistinguishable to you.

D means you'll hate it even if you
like the genre. We don't score films below C- that
often, because we like movies and we think that most of them
have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that,
you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-.
Films rated below C- generally have both bad reviews and poor
popular acceptance.

E means that you'll hate it even if
you love the genre.

F means that the film is not only unappealing
across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this
film is
an F in this particular DVD, which
is a rip-off. The film would be an E if it were cleaned up
and re-mastered.