Commanded by KittywithLEGO: Rodrigo Palo and his pirates have arrived in the Bloodstained Serpent to plunder this world. They are joined by some dimensional travellers who suddenly fell out of a timespace rift.

Commanded by Arkbrik: Vergilius Raskolnikov, tired of losing to the FELC, is invading to add Adelfors to his star empire.

Commanded by Rediro: The native barbarians, orcs, and razgrizzlies, who will of course have none of this, have marshaled their strength to repulse the intruders.

Turn 1

Vergilius Raskolnikov scores first blood as his fighter takes out a couple pirates.

Overview. Everyone is advancing.

Turn 2

The fighter kills another pirate, while the sea dogs shoot at it and do some damage.

Battle is joined between the dimensional travellers and the natives.

Rodrigo tries to encourage his mates by singing a sea shanty, causing two of them to abandon ship.

Overview.

Turn 3

The two deserting pirates are enchanted by the 80s music of the Sammy clones and rush to join them.

The pirates on the ship shoot down the fighter.

Vergilius' gunline takes down most of the first pirate wave.

Vergilius himself is boarding the Bloodstained Serpent!

Overview. Note the tank getting rammed by the Serpent.

Turn 4

The natives are attacking the big tank, and through their massive numbers manage to do some damage. The A-Squad deploys and burns some of them.

The Bloodstained Serpent rams Vergilius' gunline.

Overview.

Turn 5

Commanded by Carojen: The Inca Amazon Viking Skeletons have entered the battle!

More fight. The tank is slowly taking more damage.

Lots of Raskolnikov soldiers are getting shot by the pirates.

The natives summon BrikThulhu to the field. You can panic now.

Overview.

Turn 6

Commanded by Anonymous: Death and his buddies.

A mechanik is transported to the fighter wreck and starts rebuilding it. She sucks at it.

Inca Amazon Viking Skeletons are closing in...

Vergilius' entire right flank has been obliterated.

BrikThulhu eats a pirate. BrikThulhu's rules were simple: He moves to the nearest unit each turn and eats it. He can move any distance and is unkillable.

Rodrigo Palo leaps down into the swamp to kill something.

The natives finally destroy the tank. 14 die in the explosion.

Overview.

Turn 7

Encouraged by loving words from Rodrigo, Francisco Duroculo snipes the mechanik. Meanwhile the truck is getting swarmed by undead.

With the mechanik dead and skeletons everywhere, the truck driver goes "fuck this" and rams a tree.

Everyone dies.

Death is killed by a random orc.

The undead summon a Fire Elemental Monkey.

Dragons are chewing on the Bloodstained Serpent.

General carnage.

Overview.

Turn 8

Raskolnikov has reached the bridge of the Bloodstained Serpent... and killed Francisco! Rodrigo must have vengeance!

Take that!

The Inca Amazon Viking Skeleton hero is killed by the native chief.

Vergilius Raskolnikov and his army have been destroyed.

Overview.

Turn 9

The chief is killed by a thrown flame from the fire monkey.

One dragon is crushed by the Bloodstained Serpent...

...while the other is eaten by BrikThulhu.

Not a lot of people left here; one orc and two monkeys.

Overview.

Turn 10

Two Ewoks are crushed under the relentless Bloodstained Serpent.

As the ship moves away it leaves a nice channel in the piles of corpses.

The last orc is killed by the fire monkey.

The monkey is out of fire and returns to its own dimension.

Overview.

Turn 11

The last monkey is crushed.

Overview. Very short turn as not many are left.

Turn 12

In fact, only two are left: This dark samurai...

...and Rodrigo Palo.

They engage in combat.

And kill each other.

WINNER: BRIKTHULHU

or is it

Some final overviews.

Remus: Harry... I'm a werewolf.
Harry: Are you fucking serious?
Remus: Well yes, but I don't see how that applies here.