Inspiration, ideas and information to help women build public speaking content, confidence and credibility. Denise Graveline is a Washington, DC-based speaker coach who has coached more than 140 TEDMED and TEDx speakers--many featured on TED.com--and prepared speakers to testify before the U.S. Congress, appear on national television, and deliver industry keynotes. She offers 1:1 coaching and group workshops in public speaking, presentation and media interview skills to both men and women.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Do you know the hidden messages your words are sending when you speak (or write)? Psychologist James Pennebaker does, and suggests you focus on minding your pronouns--because pronouns say the most about you.

Most people assume that men use I-words and cognitive words more than women and that women use we-words, emotions, and social words more than men. Bad news. You were right if you guessed that women use social words more. However, women use I-words and cognitive words at far higher rates than men. There are no reliable differences between men and women for use of we-words or emotion words (OK, those were trick questions). And men use articles more than women, when you might guess there’d be no difference.

He also offers some clues to how pronouns are used by those in power. Leaders tend to use them less--surprised?--but underlings are all about saying "I, me, mine." You can find out more about the messages you're sending with your pronouns in his book, The Secret Life of Pronouns: What Our Words Say About Us.

Use the Evernote clip button, above, to save this post in an Evernote notebook or start an Evernote account.(If it doesn't work for you, try using a 'modern' browser, like Chrome or Firefox.) Go here to subscribe to Step Up Your Speaking, my free email newsletter that looks at a different speaking topic in depth each month...then become a fan of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook and join the conversation with thousands of other women (and men) about public speaking skills and confidence.

What readers and clients say

Tip jar

If you think of and use this blog as your online speaking coach, or use it regularly for advice, tips, ideas and resources to make your public speaking, speaker coaching or speechwriting better and smarter, please consider supporting the blog with a subscription or a one-time donation. Your subscription will help expand and improve the content provided here, which takes thousands of hours to produce for you.