"Low sexual desire is the most common sexual complaint among couples, affecting 30% of American women," says Laura Berman, PhD, founder of the Berman Center in Chicago, a clinic devoted to women's sexual issues. But that doesn't mean you have to give up on sex—or your libido. And for your health's sake, you shouldn't, because the health benefits of physical closeness are real (see "How Love Keeps You Healthy").

So if you're among the one-third of US couples suffering from low sexual drive or desire—yours or his—read on.

Prevention put the country's top sex experts to the ultimate challenge: Help four cooled-off couples rekindle their sex lives—in a week. Did they succeed? Indeed. These couples are all reporting more action in the bedroom and working on greater intimacy. See what worked for them; then, do try this at home.

Cara Birrittieri, 46, and Jackson Smith, 37

Medfield, MA; Married 6 years; 2 children, ages 1 1/2 and 6

The ProblemFor the past few years, Candy and Dean had been having sex once a month at most. Describing the quality, Dean says, "Distant. Both physically and communication-wise."

Why? "For the first five years, everything was fine," says Candy. "But Dean lost his job and became very depressed." Dean had a video gaming company with about 200 employees, but when the government changed a gambling regulation in 2000, he lost his entire business.

"I was devastated," says Dean. "It took me 15 years to build it, and six months to go back to zero. I felt like a failure. I had no interest in sex. I was too distracted thinking about how we were going to survive."

Dean eventually formed his current company, which does large-scale cleanups (like post-Katrina tree removal in Mississippi). But the couple's sexual problems persist. Now, when the kids are asleep, Candy will initiate sex, "but Dean will say, 'I'm not in the mood.' And after a while, you just get burned enough times that you don't touch the stove anymore. I feel rejected. Even though I love Dean and want to stay together, it would be hard to accept if the rest of my life is like this."

The lack of sex is hard on both of them. "Depending on her mood, I either think she's disappointed in me or that she feels sorry for me," Dean says. Candy has her own fears: "I feel more sexual than ever. I want to be much more appealing to him, and I want to know what the problem is."

Their "Sexpert" Gerald R. Weeks, PhD, chair of the department of marriage, family, and community counseling at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, and a sex and marital therapist in Las Vegas

Sex Rx Weeks thinks the biggest block in this couple's path is dealing with the loss of Dean's business because "depression kills desire." Dean agrees. "It's still an issue," he says. "And I think it will continue to be until I can provide for my family like I used to."

Dean told Weeks that following his company loss, he took the antidepressant Effexor. "Many antidepressants tend to cause delayed orgasm or ejaculation in men, and also reduce desire," says Weeks. Though Dean stopped seeing a psychiatrist and taking the antidepressant after a year of treatment, Weeks suggested that he consider consulting one again and inquire about the antidepressant Wellbutrin, which is less likely to cause sexual side effects.[pagebreak]Weeks also picked up on an issue the couple hadn't considered but affects them daily: the stress of the household.

"Dean's perception is that Candy's always nagging him about doing things around the house and helping with the kids," says Weeks. "Although he sees her as physically attractive and wants to get close to her, her pestering is a turnoff."

The solution? "I suggested they write down a who's-going-to-do-what-when list," says Weeks. "He's not happy being told what to do, and she's not happy asking. If they create a system to eliminate that stress, they'll be able to work on being closer."

And working on that closeness is his last recommendation: "They need to start trying to be more affectionate with each other by kissing and hugging during the day, and by giving each other back rubs at night."

Weeks expects Candy and Dean might need to spend six months to a year rebuilding their intimacy, unlike the other couples, who responded more quickly because their issues were fairly straightforward. "The more factors there are, the longer it takes," says Weeks.

Sex-cess "We had sex twice in the first week," says Dean. One simple thing that's made him more receptive is that Candy nags him less about chores (Dean prefers having the to-do list). They also followed Weeks's instruction to have more physical contact.

"This week we made sure to kiss each other hello and good-bye and to sit next to each other on the couch to be closer more often," says Candy. Those small efforts helped them ease back into sex. They didn't plan a big night for it, says Candy, "but it was like an unspoken understanding that first day that the hugging and touching was going to lead to more."

Says Dean, "Those things paved the way so it wasn't awkward. And it was longer and more passionate than it had been. It made us realize how far we'd drifted apart."

Though Dean and Candy admit they have a long road ahead, "I'm looking forward to practicing what Dr. Weeks taught us," says Dean. "If I still need an antidepressant after that, I'll consider it."

Candy also feels hopeful. "We're already regaining some of that closeness we used to share. We're breaking down the wall and seeing each other as friends again. Friends is good, but lovers is better. And I think that's attainable."