My hobby is dissecting – concepts (like love, attachment, art, fear, etc), minds, behavior, and my favorite, people. This “project humanity” that officially started 3 years ago was supposed to save the entire humanity. An ego-buster, a mental surgeon, a midwife that ferries people to awakedness, from darkness to light. I totally like seeing brains explode and eyes that look like seeing something for the first time (be it nice or gruesome), and people’s total surrender (like, “Ok, I have to work on my life”).

I just got my third “kara, don’t make me think.” First it was Andre, then Aby, then Kash.

It’s not really the process of mental surgery that I enjoy. It’s not the actual slicing and rummaging through minds, past, future, motivations, self-image… Yes, that’s orgasmic but the release is upon seeing their growth. The fulfillment is when they start going down into their own forest, when they discover themselves and start re-living.

Once they become alive, there’s not much I can do. They’re alive and are now capable of making their own movement, discovering their own truths. They even start to question and challenge me (that’s painful but very humbling).

roar to liberation

Why do I even do it?

Because I like beautiful things and beauty usually lies beneath the attachments and brands that we surround ourselves with. I don’t want to have a relationship with those objects, I want to see the real person hiding underneath. This work is really dirty and bloody. Friends even feel it invasive, manipulative, cruel, dominating… I question my motivations. But I find only compassion at the very bottom. When they become free, they are their own master, there’s no benefit for me. Well yeah, strong liberated friends are there for me when I stumble and weaken. They continue to remind me who I am and what I want to spend my life doing. They are my artwork, my legacy, my footprints, my dent on the world. And every time I step back and look at my work, I am even more liberated.

Some people didn’t like it, they didn’t like me. So I let them go and focus on good investments whom I thank for letting me do it.

Having a business discipline, I was looking for ways on how to mass-produce this conscious-making (the first step in the process ofhuman liberation). I realized that I can’t ever possibly do it for others. This life is our own battle. You really have to cut through yourself on your own. I can only help people get the tool sharpened, their minds.

“What do you want to discover in life?”Aziel didn’t quite know how to answer this.

“What if you have 1 month to live. Would you change your life’s direction?” She said “Yeah!”

I said, “Then you’re not in the right direction… what would you do?”

“I’m gonna travel.”

“How would you finance that?”

We figured out that it wasn’t traveling that she wanted — she didn’t want to be a traveler, moving from one place to another. She wanted the capacity to travel; she wanted traveling as a reward of that something.

That something.

Aziel Anne Chua - Day 0

So to make things more realistic, we made it 5 months. This day marks day 0.

She will write down everything that something could possibly be (which she’s hopefully doing as I write). This phase we call name-it-ology.

Writing down one’s dreams, naming the things that don’t make sense, yet.

And in the next 5 months, she will live her life with death in mind. What would Aziel do? How will it change her life? Will she find that something? Let’s find out on December 27, 2011.

aziel anne chua: Is that it?

Since I already publicized this, there’s no escaping the deal. Coz in real life, there’s no escaping death.