Sunday, November 18, 2007

Just like a stone dropped in a puddle of water, all of our actions echo onward towards infinity.

We rarely think about the long-term consequences of our actions. Most people are in a blissful state of ignorance of the far-reaching implications of their actions, living only for themselves one moment at a time.

Global warming is one such example of man’s inability to comprehend the idea and notion of consequences. The slow but steady destruction of our planet which we had wrought for the last few decades has results which the future generations must deal with, leaving us to continue on our reckless downward-spiral with almost no bounds or restraints.

The destruction of our planet isn’t the only problem caused by our lack of foresight. For almost every major achievement in all fields from media to medicine we have had to sell just a little bit more of our souls. We’ve given ourselves a new set ethics and morals to combat our guilt and make us feel just a little bit better about ourselves. We’ve tried and succeeded in justifying our actions to ourselves.

Just where will this lead us? What is going to be left of us when we have nothing left of our souls to sell? Most importantly of all, will the forthcoming generations ever forgive the sins of their forefathers?

People are mostly disgusting little shits that don’t have an excuse to live. I can’t express how disappointed I am with the people I meet in my life and my so called ‘friends’ I’ve realized that the more people claim to ‘love’ and ‘care’ about you, the more likely that they’re simply lying about it.

People don’t really care about one another, well at least not the ‘friends’ I had. One of my biggest regrets in life was when I decided to stop being such an emotionless bastard and to truly care and love my friends. Do you know what it got me?

Bullshit, that’s all I hear from the people around me. So much shit spews from their mouths that it’s hard to believe it isn’t being used as a substitute sewage system. All I hear is excuses and lies and I’m finally sick of it.

If you’re going to say that you have friends and that you all care about each other and really truly love each other, well you can just go on right ahead and blow me you pathetic fuck…

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Every day as I walk into college, I see lots of different people. Most of the people I come in contact with are (somewhat) normal, while others are strange and magical creatures.

Those that are better known as the “Raw” (Pronounced: ra-oh) fall into the latter category.

These people are fairly common in Oman and are usually attracted to places such as “City Center” and stairs for some obscure reason, recent studies have also concluded that they are highly attracted to grass as well.

Other notable features are their women’s bat like appearance. While the men are usually dressed in either a white dishdasha with long oily hair or in a really tight brightly colored shirt and a pair of horrible jeans, the women are clad exclusively in a black outfit which gives the illusion of them floating on air.

When approaching these people, great care must be taken to ensure a safe and pleasant experience while interacting. I shall make a separate cautionary list for both men and women.

Men: If you’re not wearing a dishdasha or an unusually horrible outfit be prepared for them to stare at you. It’s also advisable to look away from the women. While some of them aren’t disgustingly ugly, they believe in ‘love at first sight’ and having a bat like creature following you around like some lost puppy isn’t exactly most people’s idea of fun.

Women: Run away on sight. These people are aggressive and will usually signal for your attention through the use of mating calls and such. Examples of mating calls are: High pitched noises resembling a bird squawk, rudimentary use of the vocal cords to mimic laughter and an indescribable noise which sounds like a dying cat to the human ear.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

You always think you’ve seen it all. You think that you’ve got people figured out and you could think that you’ve found the perfect friends, people who are honest and would stick with you but the truth is people are deceptive little shits, you think you know what someone is like and you think that you can trust them, but that beautiful little illusion will come crashing down all around you the moment you let your guard down. Some people find it hard to not trust someone, when someone looks you straight in the eye and tells you to trust them. Maybe I’ve just grown soft lately, I guess in the end you can’t rely on anyone but yourself, there’s no one who’s real except you.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

We go through life make choices, we choose who are friends are and through that choice, we inevitably decide who we become as well. Some people affect us more than others and sometimes we make the mistake of getting too close to a person, the problem arises when we care about a person possibly a little more than we care about ourselves, it is at that time that we are faced with only two options, do we risk it all and go on instinct, or do we torment ourselves and decide to keep it all in?

We are selfish creatures by nature, nobody would help someone else if it didn’t make them feel better of themselves, it’s a shallow truth and might not be true of everyone, but they’re merely the exception that proves the rule. This is why we are so confused when we meet someone else that makes us feel so good about ourselves that we begin to care about their happiness more than we care about our own.Therefore something that once seemed innocent takes a more selfish route the more time and thought we give to it.

Sometimes, we have no choice but to hurt ourselves. To cut off ourselves until the moment that we can regroup and gain control of our emotions once more, is it really selfish to risk everything just so we don’t lose someone close?

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

It never fails to amaze me what I can get away with in class, I mean I know I’ve done a lot of things I shouldn’t have in class but getting full marks on the following essay is really something I’m proud of.

Well, our teacher asked us to write about our childhood. He asked to be honest if we could and all that. I decided to record all the dirty details of my childhood, to literally spill my heart out on that blank piece of paper I had been given.

Here goes my English essay, titled: My Childhood

I can’t honestly say I’ve had a happy childhood, but then again it has helped shape me into the person that you see standing here before you today.

I was born to a young couple who constantly told me how much they loved me just before they shat all over me. I guess it wasn’t enough that I was neglected as an only child because they soon decided to bring another child into this cruel and depressing world, a year later I was cursed with a baby brother whom they favored over me because unlike me, he was white(er).

Growing up wasn’t easy for me either, I was constantly bullied during my earlier years from Kindergarten till the 3rd grade when my Latin-American school teacher offered me protection from the bullies, in return all I had to do was spend time alone with her during the breaks and after school. I thought it was alright back then, I didn’t know they had a name for people like that.

After my turbulent 3rd grade and following a police investigation on child exploitation, I decided that I needed to switch schools, to make a fresh start if you know what I mean. Life in the 4th grade was much better for me, I learnt how to make friends. I had also learnt how to defend myself but later that year something terrible was to happen. I still can’t talk about what happened during that day, but I learnt one thing, not all drug deals with the Jamaicans are destined to succeed.

Well, there you have it, the cold hard naked truth of my childhood…

I would’ve wrote more, but damn the 40 minutes they give us to write something in class. That and because I spend more time talking than doing my work in English. :-p

There comes a time in a man’s life, when he must eventually take an Extreme Shit.

A man has the option of choosing both when and where to take a shit.

Some prefer to do it on their rooftops with the sun (or the moon) as their only witness (As well as any neighbors who have nothing better to do) , while others prefer the safety and seclusion of their own private bathrooms where they are free to scream in pain from the act of pushing an object through their colon tract and out their anus.

Taking an Extreme Shit is simple often enough, the man must place his anus upon some sort of hollowed seat or paper bag and begin using his well developed colon muscles to push the offending brown object quickly and smoothly out of his anus.

The act of taking an Extreme Shit is often time consuming and if care is not taken, it could result in an early (usually painful) death.

Extreme care and caution must be taken before and after to ensure the safety of not only the shitter but those around him as well, since the noxious fumes released are extremely poisonous and will kill all those within a 10 mile radius.

It is generally advisable to avoid eating anything that may cause diarrhea.

For those unfamiliar with the term, Extreme Diarrhea Shitting is an extreme form of the sport in which the shit will flow through the colon tract at half the speed of light, causing extreme damage to the anus upon exit, the diarrhea shitter will usually scream in extreme agony as it’s not really enjoyable to have what feels like acid burst through your ass.

In the more classic form of shitting the only tools a man would need would be the following:

Water

Toilet Paper

A spoon (A shovel is needed if you’re obese)

The water is used as both a lubricant and as a source of hydration in case the Extreme Shit takes over a day.

The toilet paper is used for cleaning up both the mess and any passersby.

The spoon is used for shoveling anything that might still linger inside you which you’re unable to push out.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

It’s just that I’ve gotten really busy these past couple of weeks and just didn’t have the time to post anything.

And since I’m still fresh out of ideas, I’ve decided to post something off of my diary instead.

Dear Diary,

I hate my friend, she’s such a bitch…

Awain, I have to wear all pink for her stupid birthday party.

But, I don’t have any pink dresses, after my old one got torn trying to run away from my rapist ex-boyfriend…But enough about that.

I just want to know, when will I go to my first dance?

When will I get my first kiss?

When will I finally meet a boy who loves me?

I mean, aren’t these questions every girl thinks about?

Then why do I feel like nobody’s ever gone through what I went through? Why do I feel so alone?

And why is my friend being such a bitch about her party? I mean, I’m happy for her and all, But can’t she see what I’m going through? Waxing my legs is painful, PMS is painful...Sometimes I wish I wasn't a girl, just to escape all the pain...

Sometimes I just want to spread my wings and fly, to meet my prince charming, to enjoy the sights and sounds of the most romantic cities in the world...

Thursday, February 15, 2007

I wonder really, when did Forwards first come into existence?Who made them?Was it some lonely teen? Sitting all alone in front of his computer monitor, typing away on his brand new Intel 133?Was he so attention starved that he decided to cook up some story about an evil monkey that has made the internet its home, and that you have to forward the email to 300 of your friends, or else the evil monkey will take a diarrhea dump on your head by midnight.

Who the hell would be so stupid as to believe that?

Apparently, everyone I know.

And if those aren’t bad enough, you’ve got the friendship forwards.They go something like this:If you are my friend and blah blah blah…Send this message back to me.

Why?

Does it look like I’m sitting here with nothing better to do except send you back, the same message you sent me?Does hitting the reply button make me a good friend?Or do people just want proof that they exist?

And what’s up with people and penis enlargement?How big of an idiot do you have to believe that using an air pump will actually work?And who the hell came up with the idea in the first place?

Actually, I’ve got a better question, who discovered how to milk a cow? And what was he doing at that moment?

So, you felt like she was the one? Like, nobody would ever make you feel the way she did?Well, you’re not the only one.We all go through it, one time or another. The lucky ones are those who can live life without being emotionally attached to anyone at all.What a blessing really, to manage living your whole life without caring about someone.

No matter how bad it seems, no matter how perfect she is, she’s not the only one, and she won’t be the last person to make you feel like that.Sure, it may not be often, hell it’ll probably only happen a few times during your whole miserable life, but unfortunately it’ll happen again, whether you want it to or not.

Life isn’t a fucking fairytale.The movies you’ve watched, the books you’ve read and the songs you’ve heard?They’re full of shit, and you know it.

And don’t bother giving me that shit, claiming that nobody’s ever felt the way you do.This world is small, nasty and complicated…Everybody dies alone.But you’re not the only one to feel like your life has lost meaning, you’re not first person to think you’ll never love again, and you won’t be the last.

You’ve got no one but yourself to blame for the state you’re in.And you know it.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

I feel like shitReally? Tell me something I don’t know.You don’t know what I’m going throughYes I do actually, or did you forget that I’m part of you?…You’re just being gay you know, letting it consume you the way it doesShe’s got a name, she’s not some sort of objectHeh, you keep telling yourself that, they’re all objects, you’ll get over herNo, that’s where you’re wrong. It’s been going on for far too long, I can’t control it anymore.You mean you can’t control me, face it you queer, I’m here to stayI don’t know if I can feel anymoreShe’s killing you, you fag. Stop itI can’t, I can’t control anything anymoreWell, looks like I’m gonna have to interfere again

Hey everyone, I know that many guys just don’t know how to flirt in general and usually look for that magical line that’ll give them the power to get any girl they want.

Well, I’m here to teach you guys everything you need and more.

So, without wasting any more time, let’s get started. Shall we?

Step 1: Appearance

Being well groomed is really important, well not really. Just as long as you don’t smell like something that crawled up a person’s ass and died you’re pretty much alright, oh and make sure your clothes fit and don’t have holes in them, unless you’re making a fashion statement, which means you shouldn’t be reading this because you’re a queer.

Penis enlargement pills will not help you at this stage; I mean you can’t expect to come through flying out of the bushes with your giant donkey dick flapping in the air and expect her to just lie down and spread her legs. Or can you?

Step 2: Approaching

Now, this step is really important, first impressions can make all the difference. Whether you get the girl or not, it’ll be this step that decides it all.

Now, the following steps all depend on the type of girl you’re after, so I’ll break it down for y’all…

Alright, for the pickup line use the following: “Is you’re father a thief? Because someone must’ve stolen the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes.”

If she’s Gangsta:

Get oversized clothes for this one, wear anything that you see on a rap video on T.V. or better yet, just go outside and wear the same exact clothes that everyone else is wearing. Because originality and being yourself isn’t really important anymore. Neither is it attractive to the opposite sex.

Using a pickup line on these kind of people just isn’t gonna work, because they’re way too wrapped up in their own despair and if you ask if their father is a thief, they’ll not only tell you how he steals everyday from his own daughters purse, she’ll also tell you how he molests her everyday, how her first boyfriend dumped her for a total BITCH and how depressed she is in general. So here’s what to do:

Write depressing poetry, like how the sky is black and your soul is even darker.

Cut yourself, the sight of your scars and self harming is a major turn for people like that.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Anytime you venture out of the safety of your home planet and into the atmosphere of the tiny blue planet known as earth, you’re bound to meet Homo sapiens otherwise known as humans.

Humans are known to be the descendents of monkeys and not mice as some sources may claim, although humans are known to be extremely ashamed of their ancestors and keep them locked up in cages for their own pleasure, possibly as a reminder to their origin.

Some researches claim that the human went through an evolutionary stage known as the Yeti or Bigfoot, generally thought to be larger than the common human and covered in a thick fur, either brown or white in color.

Humans are an extremely intelligent race compared to the other species living on the planet, such as penguins.

Upon closer inspection of this magnificent creature we can easily define two major sub-groups. They are known as the male and female sub-groups of the species, some experts argue that they are two completely different species who have formed a symbiotic relationship during evolution.

The female sub-group will be discussed in detail later, for this essay we will discuss the male sub-group:

1. Appearance: Men appear to be slightly larger than that of women and also carry an extra organ between their legs, used either as a status symbol or in some cases a weapon.

Men are generally hairier than women although it has been noted that there are women who do not shave and often have an amount of hair that surpasses that of men, these women are commonly referred to as ugly and fat and are shunned by most men in the community.

Men in general have the ability to grow facial hair and the skill to control the size of the large organ between their legs.

2. Habits: It is to be noted that men generally scratch at the crotch area and when walking attempt to place both hands in a position which clearly defend the crotch area against any surprise attack.

Men generally engage in bouts of superiority, when a dominant male approaches another of lower status the following conversation may be noticed:

Dom: Hi!

Sub: Hey…Dom: That’s an awesome pair of shoes you’ve got.

Sub: Uhh, thanks.

Dom: Mind giving them to me?

Sub: Wha?

Dom: DIE BITCH DIE!!

The dominant male at this time will attack the male of lower standing and claim the superior foot wear for himself, regardless if it fits or not.

Scientists have still not understood this behavior and no further research has been conducted.

3. Intelligence: The male species is extremely intelligent and myths regarding the imbalance of intelligence between sexes are grossly overstated. Men in general have the cognitive ability to discuss a wide array of subjects ranging from the size of their penis to the size of their balls, although usually discussions are competitive in nature, their intelligence is not to be underestimated. They are able to ask for information, find faults in a logical argument and in some cases will even attempt to introduce some new information that may deny common sense and logic.

Dom: Hey man, did you know my balls are bigger than yours.

Sub: Not really, check these out.

The submissive male at this point will take off his pants to prove that the dominant male is wrong, therefore stripping him of his status.

Dom: Damn, they really are huge. You rule man.

The final words are the recognition of the dominant male that he has been replaced by a new male.

4. Sex: Men are generally occupied with the thought of sex and will never pass down a chance at procreation.

Studies have shown that men not capable of reproduction with a suitable female at an early age grow desperate and rely heavily on the use of their hands for relief.

Studies have also shown that men rely heavily on the size of their reproductive organ to attract members of the opposite sex, although this too is inconclusive and requires additional research.

It is to be noted that men if angered will forcefully have sex with one another.

Tom wasn’t an ordinary person like you and me. No, he was quite different.Well, for one thing, he was a cat, with four paws, a tail, and beautiful fur covering him from head to tail.He was a beautiful cat, a golden brown all over, and he knew it.You see, Tom was very horny.Tom was so horny, he’d screw any cat that passed by his way. Sometimes, Tom would have sex with little boy kittens too.Now you see, Tom was actually well brought up and learnt all there was about STD’s and STI’s at a very young age.And because Tom was very very clever, he managed to go through life without even getting pubic lice, which everyone is supposed to get.

But one day, Tom made a terrible mistake.

Boys and Girls, do you know what that mistake was?

Tom fell in love.

She was a beautiful white Persian, and Tom couldn’t resist her.Tom had to have her as soon as he could, so he waited. And he waited.Until she walked into a dark alley where she wasn’t supposed to go.And that’s when Tom decided to rape her.Tom had his way with her.Tom was quite happy.

But Tom made a mistake, Tom wasn’t wearing a condom.And the beautiful white Persian carried a disease known as AIDS!

Do you know what happened to Tom?

His penis turned green and fell off.

The morale of this story is this:If you’re gonna rape someone, make sure she doesn’t have any diseases, or better yet, carry a condom on you at all times.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

So, we’re almost done with all of our exams and shit, and for those wondering what the toughest test was, it would have to be the chemistry exam.To even try and tell you how it felt like, you’re gonna need a really angry donkey and your butthole.I can’t even begin to explain how it felt to hear a whole school full of 17-18 year olds yell in pain as the exam anally raped them, at the same time.

I’m not gonna be surprised if the test fathered children.

Seriously, what were they thinking when they wrote the test?What, do they just hate children? Or was the guy raped by a donkey when he was a little kid and just wanted the rest of us to know what he went through?

You know, it’s been a while since I last wrote anything. Maybe it’s because of all the shitty school work we’ve been getting, but after 300 words of why the cat jumped over the fence. You start running out of ideas.

Maybe he was a really horny cat, and just wanted some casual sex with the neighbor. But with education being a controlling bastard, there’s no way you’re can write that and get away with it.

I thought the whole point of education was so we can become productive individuals, not mind controlled puppets who can’t write about Tom the horny cat.

For all of you out there who think education sucks because it’s raping your imagination sideways.