When I was afraid of sex when I was just a lassMy Mormon boyfriend tied me up and farked me in the ass.Then one day I learned a way to save my aching bum,The surest way and I must say that this is how it's done.

Arias: Son, we live in a world that has pussies, and those pussies have to be guarded by women with hair. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Alexander, and you curse the French. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Alexander's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my coont, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want hair on that pussy, you need hair on that pussy. We use words like muff, carpet, matching drapes. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very furburger that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a comb, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

I hadn't heard about that part of her testimony, so I did a search and found this hilarious exchange with her attorney:

"He wanted to drive up to the home, get out of the car, have me come out of the house and give him oral sex. He wanted to ejaculate on my face and drive away without saying a word," Arias said. "The first occasion was just like he described, but the second occasion, he dropped something near me and got in his car and left. I picked it up and it was Toblerone."

"So he ejaculated on your face and threw you some candy?" Nurmi asked Arias.

If you are the kind of person who would "stick your dick in crazy," you might want to know what the possible consequences might be of such rash behavior: stabbed in the back, head, and chest 29 times, throat slit so deep you were almost decapitated, then the final coup de grâce of being shot in the forehead, and then have your butchered body left naked in the shower for five days in the Arizona summer heat...

But I'd get at least a hot sexy weekend with her, right?Sounds like a good deal to me.

She thought the "glasses and no makeup" ploy would make her sympathetic to the jury. Outside the courtroom, she's... maybe not exactly hot, but at least a 7 or 8. 'Course, I don't expect her to age real well now...

Fruity, semen guzzling, cock crazy eunuchs. It's the only explanation for their conspiratorial malice for this victimized woman. Her bubbly mirth for life was carved away from her by a motivational speaker. By far the most sociopathic of all the manipulative professions.