A BLOG BY LINDSY READ

Friday, April 04, 2014

A Blank Canvas

I'm not just navigating Nashville. I'm navigating a whole new culture, new parenting dynamic, new financial status, new friendships. I could go on. Everything in my life is new and while I love a blank canvas I dont necessarily want my life to be one.

I've always had a problem with the big decision-making in my life. Most of the time the decisions were made for me after I procrastinated long enough. For example, my second year of college I lamented over what to major in and I looked at my transcript to see that most of my credits already were English credits. Done. English Lit major. When it comes to small stuff, I tend to take the reigns with no problem. I know that I want to paint a wall green or I know that I want Mexican food for dinner. But the big stuff is daunting.

I feel constantly pulled by my two sides: the go-for-dreams-and-work-your-butt-off side and the relax-everything-is-going-to-be-okay-whatever-will-be-will-be side. It feels like a tug of war but what ends up happening is that I try really hard at something, get frustrated and impatient when it doesn't produce the way I want it to, change my focus and it's back to square one. Everything does end up working out.

When Dan and I were figuring out what life would be like in Nashville, and what I'd do after the move, we settled on wedding photography because I could work very few hours (all day, one day a week) and edit during Liam's naps. The schedule seemed like a great fit.

Well, I've only been here 6 weeks but it's SO.HARD. to start a new business in a new city while taking care of a child. So, I started to look for part-time work and stumbled upon a great opportunity which combines my creativity with my administrative side. I will still be working limited hours throughout the week and long shifts on weekends. I am so excited for this opportunity - for myself and for our family. When I told Dan about it he said, jokingly, "So we're super rich again?!"... Yes, dear. Rich in love, rich in hope.