Chicago news anchor Randy Salerno died last night on a snowmobile trip in Eagle River, Wisconsin. Police reports said that “alcohol and speed are believed to be a factor in the crash.”

Umm the one-person snowmobile, which had both the driver and Salerno on it, hit several trees at excessive speeds. And somehow the driver lives but Salerno slams into a tree at full force. Don’t we hear about this kind of shit every damn time some drunk driver hits someone else? Why do THEY always live? Sad shit.

Lesson learned: If you’re going to get drunk and snowmobile, make sure you’re the only one on the damn thing. Even if you hit multiple trees, you’ll most likely be alright. Just don’t hit someone else in the process of flying off.