EARTHQUAKE!

A UCLA scientist is predicting a major earthquake will hit Los Angeles before September 5th.

Senator Ted Kennedy immediately called for investigations into how much President Bush knows about earthquakes and demanded a full release of any memo’s revealing connections between L.A. earthquakes and Haliburton.

Meanwhile, Presidential hopeful John Kerry said, “I voted for earthquakes before I voted against them. But this election isn’t about earthquakes, it’s about jobs. My time in Vietnam taught me that earthquakes hurt the economy. And George Bush lost 2..no 3…wait, 10 million jobs because he ignored earthquakes during his administration. I will support earthquakes that create more jobs.”