Homeless Man Furious at Cost of New iPhone

CHICAGO, IL – When local homeless man, Tom [just Tom], stopped inside the North/Clybourne Apple store to see what he could steal, he discovered what many people around the world saw last month: the new iPhone XS, and its price tag.

“$1,000?! For a phone?” Tom said. “How am I supposed to sell something that expensive on the streets? This is getting ridiculous!” Tom isn’t alone in his complaint; many devoted Apple users have taken to Twitter to complain about the iPhone XS street cost. Some users have even threatened switching over to Androids, which you can get for $300 and a pack of smokes if you find yourself in Humboldt park on a Tuesday.