Boris, a licensed pilot turned banker, who worked for CS in Moscow has just been laid off, so he and his colleagues go to the Night Flight Club to drown their sorrows.
After about an hour, Boris is approached by his colleague Natasha who says "kiss me Boris." Boris grabs a glass of red wine, throws some on Natasha's lips and kisses her. When Natasha asks why he threw red wine on her lips Boris says "I am Boris, licensed pilot and former banker and when I eat red meat, I drink red wine."
Things progress and Natasha says "kiss me lower, Boris." Boris rips off her shirt, throws white wine on her chest and says "I am Boris, licensed pilot and former banker and when I eat white meat, I drink white wine."
Things progress even further and Natasha says "kiss me even lower, Boris." Boris rips of her skirt and panties, throws Cognac on her and sets her on fire." Natasha screams "Boris, what are you doing?" Boris says, "I am Boris, licensed pilot and former banker and when I go down, I go down in flames."
-Shecky Putin

SAC

Mary Jo White was the top federal prosecutor in New York City during Bill Bratton’s first run as the Big Apple’s top cop, and she learned a few lessons from his “broken windows” theory: Clean a place up a little, and throw the fucking book at the street urchins who are messing things up with […]