This is the guy who has been preoccupying my thoughts lately. Sure, I’m married to someone else. Hey! No need for a sneeizure! I’ve been worried about him. Oh, he looks fine here. But, … Long story. Keep reading. Please?

What does this mean … except for he is grateful, he’ll be fine, and he wants me to enjoy the holidays? You know as well as I do things are never that straightforward.

Zings are never zimple. I make good name for myself by complicmacating everyzing.

So, let’s figure this out.

Just the Facts Ma’am

Fact #1: I’m not a stalker. This is important. Stalking is not on my “Bucket List.” Having a “Bucket List” is not on my “Bucket List.” Gary, I’m not one of those fans.

Fact #2: Gary spoke openly and at painful lengths during his comedy show about his current struggles with depression. In other words, he invited me into his pain. So, what? now I’m a psycho because I keep thinking and writing and thinking and writing (and thinking) about him?

Fact #3: I’m a Highly Sensitive Person. I have ESR (Emotion Seeking Radar). Just think of Heat Seeking Missiles, only much kinder, less shiny, and less expensive to taxpayers; but just as accurate, fast and potentially damaging. Once deployed, there is no way to stop it (no matter what you’ve seen in Mission Impossible or Chick Flick movies).

Kind of melts your heart, huh? And other important stuff, too…

Are you tired of facts? Good. Me, too. Let’s move on to edumacated guesses about what Gary’s message might really mean.

Edumacated Guesses … Really, Just Guesses

As a Ph.D. sociologist, I never liked the definition of a hypothesis as an “educated guess.” It’s oxymoronic. And I’m neither an ox or a moron.

I don’t know the meaning of Gary’s message or if Gary even wrote the message. So, I’m just spit-balling here. But, let’s give it a go anyway.

Here are my guesses on the possible meanings of his response.

He meant what he said. Nah. No doubt, he meant the “thanks,” and “well wishes” parts. I’m telling you, Gary is one super-duper-pookie-pal. (DISCLAIMER: He and I have never met. But, Highly Sensitive People know these things.

He’s a Jewish comedian. I’m one-quarter Jewish. I know Jewish sarcasm. “Thank you for caring. I’ll be OK. Happy Holidays.” Oy! He should have sent me some aloe vera cream for the burn.

He has his manager handle all his “fan mail,” and his manager is not a creative writer.

He forgot he was responding in email, not Twitter. Come on, Gary, with spaces and punctuation, you still had at least 120 more characters of love you could’ve sent me.

He’s intrigued. He made his response purposefully cryptic so I would email him back. His plan? A whole new act based on this weird Portland fan with the email handle “dizzylorna.” It’ll be hilarious! Only I didn’t email him back.

His girlfriend saw the email, stood behind him, and watched as he typed the email SHE dictated to him to be sure to end this “thing” between us before it even got going. You know, I have this Scorpio Vibe that I have very little control over. Sorry if I got you in trouble, Gary. It happens a lot.

Okay. I’m all out of ideas, guesses.

Do you have any theories?

Do you care?

I’m only doing this because I’m guessing you’d like to focus on something other than the weather, aging, dieting, aging, writer’s block, aging, politics, aging, or taxes. Or aging.

That’s not completely true, which is to say, that’s false. I’m doing this because I said I would. But I still want to know your edumacated guesses!

Could you stop staring at me? I’m trying to clear my head from all this talk about aging. I have my whole life a head of me. No body will get in my way. (I know this if off topic, but I couldn’t resist.)

I think maybe he was seeking some sort of reaction, and expecting none and dumbstruck when he got a response. But I say was this the proper place to say all these things. It does seem strange to open up in public, but I guess it must have taken a great inner strength to do so..Just guessing!

Very impressive, Lori. Yes, I’d say I’m an empath and that maybe Gary is an introvert and probably highly sensitive. I also believe me did send the email himself. I’d also say you should have your own talk show or something! 🙂

Okay, as long as we’re using numbers, let me try. 1) It turns out that Robin Williams didn’t have depression. He had Lewy Body Disease. The very name sounds creepy, and it’s wayyy worse than creepy. You may already have heard of it, but in case you need to google, simply put, it’s an extremely slow and torturous way of going insane with dementia. 2) Sounds like you are an empath. I’m an empath, too We pick up on other people’s emotions. If someone displays depression, such as Gary G., we can feel it too. Your instincts are probably right about him. 3) Gary G. really DID send those 11 words to you. 4) Gary G. might not want to discuss his problems seriously with a stranger, even if their email was light and quirky. 5) Gary G. may be an introvert. Some people who get on stage are actually introverts and don’t know how to socialize. When they are on stage, they do not have to interact. I’m just sayin’ . . . only some. 6) Maybe Gary G. didn’t think too deeply about the letter other than it was cute that you cared in your own quirky way. 7) Maybe Gary G. didn’t know what to say, but did want to respond, so he made it short and sweet.

There ya go. You asked, so those are my hypoth . . . edumacated guesses. 😉