LETTER TO THE ICED TEA COMPANY

The label on my bottle of iced tea says:
“If you are not completely satisfied,
write to us.”

All right! I’m not satisfied at all. I’m not
famous, not rich, my health is regularly
breaking down. Are you ready to destroy
my enemies, to make up for slights, insults,
frauds that I’ve endured? Will you get
my friends to call, my kids to visit, industries
to preserve good air and water, nations
to make peace with other nations?

I suppose it’s asking a lot, for a company
to assure my satisfaction but, hey,
you’re the ones who asked. By the way,
the tea was pretty good.