Monday, December 5, 2011

Trip to London

In answer to everyone's questions: I can see France when it's not pouring buckets, but I
can't see London.
Although that doesn't stop me seeing underpants. Tip for all guys out there:
Wear a belt. We don't want to see the superheroes that gird your loins.

Updates on Jersey: We got to fly to England to the
Sisters Conference, and there was a parcel from Amazon sitting in the box. I
refused to open it till Christmas (December the twenty-fifth. Correct!), but I
did get another bit of post from the Stake President in Hyde
Park, who sent me a blue pashmina. Now I've got two whole
pashminas from London!
The Sisters conference featured topics like stress management and determining
depression, real conversion, and flirting with elders. Me and Christensen did
some training about the Law of Chastity and resolving concerns (my favorite)
using concerns from past investigators. The leaders stressed that we are NOT
HERE TO FIND HUSBANDS. I don't know who they were talking to, but I really
zoned out and felt vaguely insulted. If you want to get married, stay home! How
does becoming a nun for 18 months ensure you a ring any more than staying home
and dating boys? It makes no sense to me whatsoever. I got to see Sister
Housley again, Sister Sebald, and Mills, but Sister Binnie is in hospital with
gallstones and has been for weeks. Her poor greenie doesn't have any idea what
to do, and neither do the NHS (No Help or Sympathy). I've never been so glad to
live in America.

Things I've learned this week:

-In order to sell or buy any kind of property (home, yard,
flat, etc.) you need an attorney and you have to go through court proceedings.

-All of the court proceedings are in Jersey French, which
very few understand anymore (except the attorneys. It feels like the Dark
Ages.)

-Lawyers of any sort are hissed at by the general populace
for cheating everyone out of money and being corrupt.

-Jersey is not on most
maps.

-Jersey is not recognized
on Facebook. Neither is Guernsey.

-Occasionally people will say something to remind me that
their minds are the size of this island.

-There have been two marriages out of this mission. I think
it's super dodgy to get married to a former district leader...what were you
DOING out in the field?

-When you teach any kind of unproved, dodgy doctrine, it's
important to throw your tie over your shoulder.

This week was really difficult, not just because we were
gone in England
for nearly three days, but because EVERYONE HAS FLOGGED US. For crying out
loud. Everyone is so polite and so English they don't say they're not
interested because it'll hurt our little American feelings or something, but it
begins to feel like a bad breakup when they keep not showing. You struggle as a
missionary because you might know flat-out that they'll flog your appointment,
but you HAVE to give them the benefit of the doubt. So you get on your bike and
cycle across town and wait and wait and then cycle back to where you were going
to knock in the first place. It's hard work, especially now it's December.
Stuff is open on Sunday and recent converts are really busy this time of the
year and since the ocean has been raining down on us, finding has been really
slow going. I bought a pink Jack in a Pack (the pink ones were cheaper than the
black ones, go figure. Christensen will never lose me again) so I'll be lovely
and dry no matter what happens. We're doing our best to find a baptismal date
for Christmastime, but the window is closing fast. I'm confident there's
someone the Lord has prepared for us to teach who'll accept the Gospel, it's
just a matter of finding them.

Our miracle of the week was Cindy, who loved the
Restoration. She's really nervous and afraid of new things, but she loves us. I
hope we can help her progress in the gospel and help her accept to be baptized.
It was such a good teach. It always is with me and Christensen, just like it
was with Sister Housley--just very comfortable, the Spirit is really
strong...maybe Satan knows this and is doing his best to stop us teaching
altogether? Hence all the flogs? That would make sense.

In happier news, Christmas is upon us! We're going to party
with Tricia and a bazillion other members in the afternoon, and then tea will
be spent with the Mackenzie’s, who are essentially an American family. The
daughter Alex just got married, and she is in Utah at the moment directing “Saviour of the
World.” Jersey-bred and everything! I'm excited for Christmas crackers and old
games and such. It'll be a really good day. Remember the reason we've got
Christmas and what matters most. It's moves this week, so I might email again
on Wednesday, so look out for me!