Social Question

How can I get revenge?

I want to get revenge on my classmates who conned my best friend into leaving me. I was friends with her for a year and a half, a few weeks later I told her she was my best friend, then my friends started saying that to stay away from her, and then some weeks later, she said to stay away from her and her friend who are my friends as well and my teacher said it as well and my parents are on their side and they say to not hang out with her friends as well. Now I only have only one friend from my group of friends. I want revenge on those people who betrayed me. Any ideas?

There is the expression, ‘Revenge is a dish best served cold’ which seems to involve a lot of long-term planning, and probably gets complicated so I would heed the advice from the others here.
Just rise above all this plotting and scheming and just do things with good grace and no apparent ill-feeling. Don’t let things gnaw away at your vitals as that won’t help.
Things that go around do come around.

Also, revenge is one of those things that fits into the “you’re doing it wrong” category. Sure, we can have the desire for revenge. But that’s only temporary, and it can exist only prior to a true examination of your own feelings and the appropriate actions.

It’s a bit like taking a dump in your living room. Sure, you have the urge to defecate. You need to deal with that urge…just make sure you do it appropriately.

how old are you? People are far more complicated than any of us expect I’d have to know more info to make any kind of opinion.

But as far as general philosophy goes I’d agree with most people to just leave it. Plus if you start plotting and doing weird stuff and being an ass your friend would be quite justified in having nothing to do with you.

People are people they get scared, annoyed, hurt, prideful, angry and don’t often behave in logical ways. I have met a lot of people and never have I met one that gets up in the morning with the intention of deliberately hurting someone and even when they do hurt people its often out of an insecurity or self defence action. You might well be hurt and angry and that’s completely natural but if you miss your friend and want to have people around you, you will also have to learn patience and understanding. Deep down everybody wants to be liked but the actions we all take to achieve that are often bizarre.

“There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state to another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life.”
~Alexandre Dumas

Your story is very confusing. The details don’t make sense. I’m not sure what happened, but maybe you could explain it more clearly.

Revenge is not going to help you, but it might make your life more miserable, because then you’ll be known as the girl
who takes out her anger on people with revenge. That’s not someone anyone is going to want as a friend.

It sounds to me like your former best friend might have had some bad qualities, and that is why your other friends/parents/teachers told you to stay away from her. Is that true? Or the other side of that coin is that you have some bad qualities and that is why everyone is telling you to stay away from them. Maybe you can shed some light on this situation.

My other thought is that the former “best friend” never thought of you in the same way and then she simply distanced herself from you when you got all clingy. Is this possibly what happened? What I do know is that your “friends” (if you can call them that) did not/could not con your former BFF into leaving you (unless they dragged her off by her hair and told her that you have a highly communicable disease). If the BFF is not mentally challenged, then she made her own decision for her own reasons.

If you really want to know the reasons (and I suspect that you already do) you should ask her. If you want to find out why your parents wanted you to stay away from the BFF, then ask them. If your teacher wanted you to stay away from the BFF, then ask him or her.

Because your story is so confusing, I just read through the whole thing again and I realized that you might be a guy (and partly because of your name dmitri) although when you talked about having a female BFF, I assumed you were also a female.

If you are a guy, then I suspect that what might have happened is that you had romantic feelings for the BFF and she did not share those feelings. When there is an imbalance in a “relationship” like this, the less interested party often feels put upon and weird, so they often flee. If that is what happened, I’m guessing that you might have tried to strongly dissuade her from distancing herself from you. Is this possibly what happened? If so, the girl in question probably felt like she didn’t want to be obligated to you and so she left (of her own accord) and the other people (teachers, other friends and your parents) probably also thought that you should just back away from the situation because it wasn’t mutually wanted.

Could it be that your friend decided for herself to stay away from you because you made her uncomfortable when you told her that she was your best friend? Perhaps she was concerned that you had other feelings for her. What made you discuss this with your teacher and parents and did they give you a reason to stay away from her? It sounds like there is a lot more going on in this situations and perhaps you need to look into your role in this situation rather than blaming others.

Upon reading your story, I had the same confusion as @Kardamom. Upon reading her second response, I think she has the right advice for you: your friends, teachers, parents have all recognized that your feeling for the girl is much stronger than hers, and apparently she has made it clear that she doesn’t want your attention.

Sometimes when it seems like the whole world is against you, it’s time to look at the world with fresh eyes: Maybe it’s you who has been against the whole world, and it’s time to re-evaluate.

To add to all the other awesome advise here: remember that people are watching us all the time. If you go on a vengeful tirade then you are advertising to the world that you have an eye for eye attitude. That could cause you to lose future friends as well.

Try not to be so vindictive and maybe you won’t lose friends. Getting revenge creates situations where others talk behind your back.. Make friends for friends sake, they don’t owe you and you don’t own them. Change your attitude and those who care for you will never leave your side.

Well Little Mister, we know you’re not a girl.
Not having yet been arrested or bullying someone does not preclude “bad qualities”, which by the way is an oxy-moron. Undesirable traits might be a better choice of words there. And I’m not going to speculate about what those are, but we ALL have them. Yours may just be more visible or socially unacceptable. Learn what they are and work on them.
You are not significant enough for the world to be against the you, so if that’s what you have built up in your mind, the reverse is quite likely true.
And she obviously was NOT comfortable with the “best friend” concept, or she would not be avoiding you like the plague.
You asked your question to a room full of adults, and got some very good answers and advice. You got some smartass and flip answers as well, but that’s the nature of the beast.
We can’t fix you or deal with your issues for you. That’s on you.
Welcome to the grown-ups table. Sit up straight.

Well, now that I know you’re a guy, it kinda sounds like you “liked” this girl @dimitri685, as more than a “friend,” and you feel like you were dumped and it was someone else’s fault. Also, you said your teachers, parents and everyone else said you needed to stay away from them? Was it a warning from them, as in the other girls felt threatened, or did you actually go to your teachers and parents for advice on how to handle a mundane, everyday middle school situation?