UNH defenseman fights through pain of brother's death

There was nothing they couldn't talk about: school, hockey, girls. They were best friends.

If Dylan had a bad game, he could text his brother in the middle of the night, and he'd instantly make him feel better.

"He would always know what to say," Dylan said, "and he'd always be there to answer."

He doesn't answer any more. Wade Maller, 22, died last July from an allergic reaction he had to the type of chemotherapy that was being used to treat a recurrence of testicular cancer.

The loss hit Dylan particularly hard. Even though Dylan moved away from his Florida home at 16 to pursue his goal of playing Division I college hockey, the two remained close.

"I could go to him for anything," Dylan said. "He was my role model. I looked up to him more than anybody."

Less than a month after Wade's death, Dylan arrived in Durham to begin a career with the University of New Hampshire hockey team. Two weeks later he was back home, overwhelmed by his grief. The freshman defenseman had stopped working out. He lost weight, and he had trouble sleeping and focusing in class.

"I couldn't deal with it any longer," Dylan said. "I really didn't want to do anything. That's when I decided to go home for the semester and try to sort everything out."

Wade was originally diagnosed with cancer in November 2012. He had surgery to remove it, but the cancer returned in April 2013.

After starting chemo, Wade experienced throat and chest pain as air seeped from his lungs into his chest cavity until one of his lungs collapsed in early May.

"The only thing that could help him," Dylan said, "was also killing him at the same time."

Wade was rushed to a hospital in Tallahassee, Fla., and hooked up to a ventilator. He was then transferred to another facility in Gainsville, Fla., several days later.

Dylan said the original prognosis was good because doctors discovered the problem early enough.

"It was super rare," he said. "I wasn't worried at all. The next thing I knew he was gone basically."

A CAT scan revealed there was little hope.

"His lungs were at the point of no return," Dylan said. "There was nothing they could do. That night we all decided to take him off the ventilator."

Wade Maller died that night. And so did a part of Dylan, who credits his brother with getting him started in hockey.

Wade was good enough to play on travel teams as a youngster, but never reached Dylan's level. Wade was a student at Florida State when he died.

"He loved hockey so much," Dylan said. "That's one of the biggest reasons we had such a close relationship because he would have done anything to be in my position. The fact that I did make it here kind of gave him comfort and he felt a part of it. He was part of it."

Dylan finally got the urge to get back on the ice several weeks after returning home. He said it helped to get back to his normal routine, although he briefly considered not coming back to UNH.

"There was so much stuff going through my head," he said. "One day I didn't even want to play hockey, and the next day I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without it."

As fate would have it, Dylan Maller made his college debut, on Dec. 29, at the Florida College Classic in a 3-2 victory over Princeton that triggered a four-game win streak.

He had two assists in his first four games, and has dressed for 13 of 14 contests since joining the team.

"It gets tough at different times," said Dylan, who is from Parkland, Fla. "It's not getting easier. I still think about him 24/7. Every time I step on the ice I can't stop thinking about him."

Dylan left home after his sophomore year in high school. He played one year for the DC Capitals U18 team in Maryland which is when UNH began recruiting him.

"It was real tough," Dylan said. "I talked to the kid every day of my life. I moved away at a pretty young age and I never really got to see him much, but we still stayed so close. That's been one of the hardest parts, not having that figure in my life anymore."

He committed early in his junior year, then played two seasons with the Tri-City Storm of the United States Hockey League before coming to UNH.

"The guys have been really understanding," Dylan said. "They've helped me through it. I like keeping stuff to myself. I don't talk about it much. They're always telling me, 'If you want someone to talk to I'm always there.' That's good to hear."

But he still yearns for a familiar voice. Dylan learned a lot from his brother, including how to deal with adversity.

"He was the most positive kid towards me," Dylan said. "Every type of issue I had, within one sentence I'd feel like a hundred times better. The advice he gave was unbelievable. He wanted me to succeed more than he wanted to succeed."

Maller was also recruited by Northeastern, but chose UNH because of the size and location of the school where "hockey is such a big sport."

Making the transition from junior to college hockey is tough enough, now he has to do it without the inspiration of his biggest fan and the anchor of his support system.

"I look up to him so much," Dylan said. "I just want to make him happy every single day."

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