Rob, let us not forget that all of your (current) woes are the fault of a woman that you married, a woman that is not being faithful to her vows to stay with you, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, etc. Have you forgotten this? Just thought I would offer this friendly reminder.

I don't consider her evil, per say, but I consider a shallow character who's putting her own life above the lives of her family, and, in particular, her children. Am I judging her? YES.

Lorie and I HAVE gone through a ton of shit together. NONE of this is easy on her either. Who can be prepared to deal with all this being released from a spouse. Who knows what the "adequate reaction" is?

Hauser, you are certainly welcome to judge as you see fit. I'm not there with you however. Nothing (esp in marriage) is so black and white.

Originally Posted By: Liv2124

Is entering into something for better or worse, still applicable, if you've never been given the fine print?

Liv,

This is probably the best positioning of the issue I've ever seen. In this modern era of supposedly "enlightened disclosure," do we even know where the "for better or worse" stuff applies. Its old baggage that was not disclosed.

Well put Liv...and very tangible.

_________________________
PEDOPHILES: Providing heating fuel for Hell for centuries...and I'll be happy to fill the order!

My husband kept his abuse from me our entire relationship, which is going on 2 decades now for fear I would leave him. Him keeping that from me created terrible results. His finally telling me has created healing for both him and I. It's given our relationship a chance to be healthy for the first time. I'm more in love with that man today then I ever was when he was pushing me away for reason I didn't know....

Be careful in telling everyone that telling anyone is bad.

Of course I can't "understand". It didn't happen to me, I can however try. I can be there and I can love him and if he had not told me our relationship would have ended, I had one foot out the door. Our 3 kids are better off now that he told me, our family now is doing much better.

I'm glad to hear the results were so great and positive. I truly am. YOU clearly handle(d) it well. You love your husband and will see him through this. You are truly a blessing to him.

Everyone and every circumstance is different however. In my marriage, waiting 15 years was too long.

I will maintain my position that disclosure, in general, is comparable to playing with a rattlesnake. There's just no way to truly know how anyone is going to react. The vast majority of people (in my op) cannot possibly handle the news in proper manner.

_________________________
PEDOPHILES: Providing heating fuel for Hell for centuries...and I'll be happy to fill the order!

Some of you may be aware of the situation in Gloucester MA, where a large number of High School GIRLS became pregnant this past school year. That vast majority were impregnated by guys in their 20s.

I bring this up not because it was a disclosure, but it is prima-facia evidence that the public defaults to blaming the sex-abuse victim far too often.

The news of the teen pregnancies were made public and the fingure of blame and shame pointed toward the girls in the well-rehearsed manner we are all so use to.

Some of the messages I've picked up from talk radio and the papers.

"Well...those Gloucester girls have always been easy.""How can you blame these guys?""Gloucester girls go looking for it.""Welfare efforts begin early in Gloucester.""What do you expect??? Its Gloucester!!""MAN...I wish I grew up in that town!...hehehehe!"

I'm sorry to say I've heard NO comments on the age difference in these cases. The news reported that one of the guys was a 27 yo and many others were in their 20s. Some girls are as young as 13.

The normals behave LIKE F**KING ANIMALS in ANY child sex abuse cases where THEY think there were ANY options open to the victim; Like "why the heck did he go back for more?"

DOUBT ME THAT THEY ACT LIKE ANIMALS???? LOOK AT THIS VIDEO OF A JULY 4 PARADE FROM THE NEIGHBORING TOWN OF BEVERLY. THERE ARE SEVERAL PARADE ENTRIES THAT MOCK THESE GIRLS IN A VERY GROTESQUE MANNER...SO WATCH ALL OF IT PLEASE IF YOU WILL. BTW: IF I WAS PRESENT FOR THIS PARADE, I'D BE IN JAIL TODAY.

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