Ramblings of a Mad Man (The Divorced Years)

Watch Waffles life after the Ex, will he die of masturbation, some crazy date, or alcohol poisoning with the marines

Friday, October 31, 2008

Bodonkey

Well the first week is in the books at the Bodonkey. You can check the leaderboard updates at BodogBloggerTournament.com. Does anyone know who these top three fuckers are? Oh yeah I know Riggs!! I get all confused with screen names there. We have RaiseyDaisey instead of Pvabannahoe and some Blogger killer guy wonder who that could be.. For purposes of disclosure I am Fisheater.

I am hoping to play the tourney next week. I will keep you posted. The overlays and prizes in this tournament are just too good to miss. It's almost as sweet as free online poker.

You should get your leader board points before I start playing because it gets that much harder. Peace out.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Slump Buster

My fat ass friend Gordo was a little bit of a slump buster tonight. I ended the night with a small profit. However what could have been was interesting.. I had a decent stack on the bubble and this tard jams all in to my EP raise of AK. There were 13 left with 1k blinds. Nine spots paid. The old me would have folded in a second. The new me wants to win first place. Would you call off your entire stack with AK near the bubble? I did and won.

I had one of the top three stacks and then this hand happened to take me out in third. Did I overplay my hand? Possibly. However his call had to have been the worst call I have ever seen. Ok not the worst.

So to cheer myself up at leaving 150 at the table I decided to take a peek..

I am ok with my play because if his hand and mine were face up I would be willing to do the same thing where he would not. I may have played this too hard but the side effect of a more aggressive playing style is sometimes getting screwed by really idiotic plays. Ah well.

Tiffany You Can Cry on My Shoulder II

I finished reading the thread and stop at page two. It really does not get any better. Fucking 2+2 douche bags keep repeating themselves and clapping their hands together in glee at how clever they are. To misquote a movie "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and douchebaggery".

I got a good laugh at the people quoting the poker odds.

Snead still has no reason, call or fold, to be in the tank for more than about 8 seconds with the J7 hand. He's getting 5.5-1 to call a bet of 1.76m after he's stuck in 3m+ with two streets to come, in a raised pot preflop.

Like he fucking knows how to play poker. Screw that. Half the people who made that deep are idiots. Just look how far the Blogfather got. Jesus. Anyway as pointed out later it is irrelevant as Tiffany could not possibly know what he had. However six more pages of math on the call did follow. You guys give nerds a bad name. Fucktards. I assume this will be my last post on the thread unless Tiffany calls me up for a private interview in which case there will be one more post. In the immortal words of the lady I'll peace outta this post boys.

Tiffany You Can Cry on My Shoulder

Yeah. This is all well and good after the fact, but you were extremely disrespectful and unbelievably rude while we were playing in just about every situation you could be. I feel like those 7 edited episodes accurately depicted your behavior during the tournament, and you can say it was "your table face" or whatever, but your calling the clock during the Paul Snead and Scott Montgomery hand in what is probably the most stressful situation the man has ever been just boggles my mind. Also this is coming from somebody who is judging you entirely on his personal experience with you, not from the any media-skewed perspective.-- Craigmarq

Someone is not getting any.. wow, that was the funniest part of the Tiffany thread ever. Seriously though what kind of genius thinking does posting ANYTHING on 2+2 take? I mean those guys just want to fuck with everyone. They are nasty cocksuckers and why you would want to open yourself for abuse like that is beyond me. Funny though. Keep it up.

I personally have no opinion on the TM issue. People I know says she really is a nice person. I got a little woody when she swirled her fingers around too.. I mean I could imagine that finger swirling around some other place. A guy has to have some dreams right? That comment by Craig was funny as hell though. Best part of the entire thread.

Fuck now I will have to watch some WSOP coverage. I have been avoiding it up until now.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK You Fucker

I will be playing the Mookie tonight. Last night kinda sucked. Dropped 140. Nothing serious. I was pretty fucking tired from getting up early every day now that my project is in production. I really hate when I have to be a normal schlub like you fucking losers. Anyway see you tonight. Good luck on the felt. All that crap. See 6AM makes me grouchy.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Weird Night

Do you ever win but feel like you lost. I have no idea why. I actually put together an ok night. I dominated my first SNG. I had 11K chips to 1K and people were still folding to second and third place. The guy HU said "Nice lucky run".. I said in reply "Congratz on Second". Retard. I lost the 75/token 33 vs A3. Ah well. I should have folded but was not into it I guess. I lost my second SNG when I called a pre-flop jam with AK vs AA. Ick. I did flop a King but no massive suckout. I made a note on the player that she jams AA pre-flop. "Pussy afraid to play AA post". So I jumped over 2K again and won a little bit but felt pretty meh for the night. Oh well.

Bodog

Should be interesting tonight. The BoDoggy is starting up again. I may have to miss tonight as my Bodog account is brokeback but I really think that this entire promotion is awesome especially in light of the recent Google problems. It would have been fun to have owned Rizen like the little girl he is heh :P. Anyway I suggest that YOU play in this thing because it really is an excellent thing that Bodog has done for bloggers. Good luck!

On Tuesday October 28th, 2008 professional poker player and author, Eric "Rizen" Lynch, will compete in the Bodog Blogger Tournament Series.

There will be a $75 bounty on Eric's head and the poker blogger who takes Eric's last chips in this tournament will receive a $75 credit to their Bodog member player account. This blogger will also receive a signed copy of Eric's book, Winning Poker Tournaments One Hand at a Time. If Eric wins this tournament, he will give the $75 credit to the poker blogger that places 1st runner up. That player will then receive the credit of $75 to his or her account.

This blogger tournament series is open to poker bloggers world wide and runs on Tuesday and Thursday evenings at 9:05 pm ET.

More details available at the official blogger series site at http://www.bodogbloggertournament.com

If you are new to Bodog, please sign up at http://www.bodoglife.com/promotions/poker/blogger-tournament/

So what are you waiting for?

Register today and may the best poker blogger take the bulls eye on Eric "Rizen" Lynch!

Tune into Buddy Dank Radio for live tournament recaps and updates while you play at http://www.buddydankradio.com

Monday, October 27, 2008

Fun Stuff

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - Herm Albright

Some blogger posted this today. Too lazy to check who it was. Fuck he did not say it originally anyways the coach of the Jets did right? Herm Albright? Oh no wait, thats a different Herm. Haha. Who names their fucking kid Herm anyways? "Herm the Sperm".. Jesus that kid is gonna have issues..

Customer: "How on earth was I supposed to know that this movie is inappropriate? You really should have told me!”

Me: "Are you serious? The movie is rated 18A, the poster right in front of you has a half naked lady dancing, AND it’s called SIN City! Did you expect it to be about bunnies and rainbows?”

Customer: *grabs her money and storms off with her son*

I am really enjoying this customer service site. It is pretty funny. Again to lazy to remember who turned me on to this.

Well ya know what? Fuck you. Until you’ve jerked off 30 guys in 1 day, or been thrown against a wall by a 300 pound customer, or had $1,000 taken from your purse by a coworker, or been told by your boss to suck his cock to keep your job, you really aren’t in a position to say I’m the same as anybody else. In fact, you really aren’t in a position to judge anything about me.

She is actually a pretty decent writer. Not sure if I totally love her writing yet but I am willing to give it a chance. I have no better spank bank material until Blonde finishes her fucking story! HURRY UP YOU BITCH! I mean that in the nicest way. Damn tease.

I could infuriate god himself lol well thats a bad example.. with the flood world thing and all he might be a hot head..-- SirFWALGMan

Just ask anyone. I have a real talent for annoying people.

Finally I have started a nice little blog fight between Duggles and Riggs. Go read the comments. Riggs told me to tell you he owned Duggles.

Peace out. I had to wake up at 6AM today. I know cry me a river. If I made you cry in your comment section today give me a break I am tired and grumpy. Normally I am one of those privileged people who can come in anytime he fucking feels like it. If my employer does not like it fuck them there are always other employers. The reason I know this works is because I am so fucking good at what I do nobody EVER fires me for coming in late. Booyah! However today is release day so I am a cubicle slave like the rest of you. The sacrifices I make.

2K Is Ghey

I briefly worked the roll over the 2K mark and then slipped back as Scott convinced me to take a shot at a 100+9 SNG and I bubbled with KK vs AQ s000ted. Obviously high stakes SNG players do not pay attention. I had second or third chip stack and was going against the big stack. I jammed him pre-flop and he called. Very encouraging.

Having monetary goals is bad though in general. My new mindset is just to play and let things happen. The only time bankroll amount should ever matter is when decided on what levels to play. After that you really should not care at all. I win today. I lose tomorrow. None of it matters. I really feel like I get that now.

I will continue with my plan which is to play the token race every night and parlay those into 750K sats and possibly some more shots at that 40K game. Throw in an SNG here and there too possibly. Continue to grind at the 22$ SNG level. I have been murdering that and my ROI is fast approaching 25%. Sick.

Friday was fun at work. We had a Oktoberfest day with free food and tons of beer. I got a little buzz on. Had fun. Left after it became a Sausage fest.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

/Cry

That must be the mantra of all MTT players. I entered the 40K Guaranteed yesterday. Honestly it was a lot of fun. I played pretty well. I had the top five stack most of the game. I then lost half my chips when someone jammed his T9 s000ted on the flop with no pair, no draw, against my KK.. and won. Runner flushes rule. I then made a bad play with eights. I worked it back up again to a top five stack. I then overplayed AJ on a Jxx flop in a hand I never should have been in. Finally I sputterd out and lost a flop A2 vs TJ missing the money by a few spots. Besides the T9 hand nothing horrible. I guess the part that sucks is you can play really well the whole game and either get fucked or make a mistake and none off it counts. Oh well. The rail was funny. Especially the chick who plays .01 MTTs telling me I suck.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Numblowme Indeed

Hella fucking fun tourney. Would not want to do it regularly as I think it took 7-8 hours to finish. However it was a blast. I rebought so many times that my mouse finger got tired and I had to click the auto-rebuy button.

Some of the fun points of the game were owning LJ in a hand. To be fair she had 12 outs. I called her ep raise with KJ and the flop comes QJx two clubs. She bets and I re-pot her because I know there is no fucking way she hit anything. She jams and I insta-call ahead of her J5 of clubs. Slightly. She does not improve.

I fucking owned Kimmer all night long. Now this guy is an amazing player and way better than I am but I had his number last night. I put in bluffs and he folded, I value bet and he called.. he just could not deal with us break even super stars. Lot of fun playing him.

Finally around midnight I decided I was too tired to play and that if I was going to stay up for hours more I had to be in position to win. So I started raising every hand at my table. Most of the time I got folds. Finally King of Kings caught me semi-bluffing at the wrong time. I bet the flop when he hit third pair with a two kicker. When a second six came on the turn I lead out representing and he of course called with his trips. I still had some outs.

I worked it back up a little then finally jammed it in with the worst of it and lost around Midnight. ah well. Seriously the prize was not worth staying up until 3AM. Hell of a lot of fun though. I would play again in a month or two.

Unfortunately my massive heater of an SNG run is at an end as I went 0-2 last night. /cry. I will have to find some other way to be break even. If I win one tonight though I will have hit my break even strive for this set. I also took down a token. I will probably use that tonight in one of the sats as well as trying to get another one. Have fun people.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Numblowme Lines

Most rebuys by a single person: 125Sucker bet if you pick the under here. I thing this is going to be much higher. Someone will play this that is used to 50/100NLHE and make a ton more buys than this.

Total tournament rebuys: 4200I think a lot of people will be playing. Say we get a Mookie size crowd of 50. This is 84 buys a person or $8.40 each. I doubt that is going to happen. So I guess the under is good here.

Players with more than a starting stack after the rebuy: 20Interesting. A lot depends on the number of players. However I do like the over here.

Players that quit before the break: 1The over is probably a good bet. People get frustrated and all that. So it should be more than one.

Chips in play after the rebuy period: 4,260,000No idea. ha! Math is obviously not my strong suit but 4 million seems a little high. I will go under.

Waffles chip stack at the end of the rebuyAssuming I last that long my stack will be better than 2001. I mean that is just a rebuy and addon. If I am that low at the end of the rebuy then I might as well just quit.

Let's try and grow this some more. Here are a few from me.

First Person to Cry about a hand I have to give this to PirateLawyer. My man plays so much better than his opponents that the inevitable outrage is bound to come quickly.

Chicks at the Final Table: 1I will take the over.. because then the chicks will think I think they are awesome at poker and I might improve my chances of getting laid by .00000001 percent. Gotta play the odds baby!

Who is going to win this thing?This is kind of hard since I am not sure who is playing. Someone like Don should make the odds for this.

CarmenSinCity 10-1 -- Hottie has been playing good lately with her Mookie win and deep finish last night. LJ 2-1 -- Lucksack powers can not be underestimated. She can suckout like nobody since.. well since Sucko.. I think this format really favors her.Sucko 2-1 -- Why not. He will probably be bored to shit if he plays. However he has the L-factor and the money to rebuy until he gets a huge stack. Poker Enthusiast 100-1 -- What the hell has he ever won? A single Mookie? A Riverchasers? I think he has been a total dud.ScottMC 15-1 -- Sure the guy has skillz but he is too good of a player to win this. He will get fucked hard and lose a 90-10 hand. No way he goes deep.Bayne 12-1 -- He has a shot. I personally think LJ is going to make him her bitch-boy again and that will be it for him. If he can avoid her until deep then he might be able to pull off a win when he over-defends his blind and sucks out huge.Waffles 1-1 -- The original G baby. This guys is so good he makes his opponents cry. Since he has fucked a leprechaun and gotten lucky nobody can stop him. He is going to win for sure.

Numblowme

I will be playing this tonight in between the SNG circuit. I love these things so much.

On the political front I saw a "news" story about Palin and her expensive clothing habits. What the fuck is that all about? First off who gives a fuck what she spends on clothes. If she has the money then she can do what she wants. Secondly she is essentially the CEO of Alaska. Do you expect her to go around in blue jeans? Should she buy cheap ass clothing? I mean it is total bullshit and I have avoided it my entire life BUT people in power positions HAVE TO wear powerful clothing. It is just the way it works. So lay off tits clothes. She looks fine. She is not doing anything wrong. So stupid.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Fucking Sick

My SNG run is awesome. I am loving it. I took first in two tonight and one last night. Starting another run like last weeks six firsts in a row. My ROI% has jumped to 23% and I am fucking ripping it up. So much fun. I really like playing the $22 games. Less all in donk jams and you can pickup a lot of uncontested pots. A lot of fun. I gamble it up a lot deep too and it seems to make the difference between a lot of limping to third and fourth and taking mostly firsts. WOOT WOOT! I am riding this train till it crashes.

Proof Positive

Tributes and Tribulations

So last night I had a chance to go out and drink a little in Boston. I never drink and got a little tipsy. Carmen can tell you how blasted I get from just a few bears. So I was in no condition to drive home. So luckily one of the guys was staying in town so he invited me to crash at his hotel room. So I am laying there trying to sleep and all of the sudden I feel this tongue on my man boob. Now normally this would be kind of concerning but I was drunk and kind of lonely so I let things progress. His beard kind of tickled as it made its was down to my stomach across my beer belly flab.

Alright alright I can not go on. That was all bullshit. I am such a hack writer anyways. Did you throw up in your mouth a little? That is about as good as my writing gets. If you want some real good lesbian writing though go see Blonde's latest post. Holy shit is she sensual. Hopefully someday Carmen, Her and I will get together in Vegas. I probably would die of a heart attack, and this is fully clothed mind you, but it would be worth it.

Speaking of hacks what the fuck is wrong with Florida? I mean if that is not a fucking commie controlled christian right wing fascists state I do not know what the fuck it is. With those Clearwater fucking Christian assholes trying to run everyone's life. I mean I am pretty tolerant but when you make smelly hippies get married you are crossing the line! No. No I kid. Not about Florida sucking so bad but about Sheverb being smelly. I have met her and Pablo and they both smelled fine. Especially her. Anyway because of some bullshit hate the gays law they have to get married or something. I can state with great authority that nobody should get married. Bastards. Anyway go wish them luck.

Tonight is the Mookie. I partook of the Skillz game last night and made the final table. I really only played to see if I could cash three weeks in a row. Unfortunately the host put a bad beat on my ass and I was not able to recover. At least I was able to ass rape Bayne. I will probably not be playing next week but weirder things have happened.

I was able to make a little dosh on the night when I yet again got first in a $22 SNG. Yawn. These things are so great for me lately. I just run over the table. I do get lucky sometimes like the final hand when my A2 took out A9 but I feel like I put myself in position to get lucky and win these things. I am going to ride the train until it derails. See you tonight.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Disturbing Dream

I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt that I was with LJ and that I was giving her a foot massage. On the good side she seemed to enjoy it. I went to a dream interpretation website because if it is on the internet it has to be true. The site said one possible interpretation is that my MTT game compared to LJ's is only worthy of her feet. That I have a ways to go to get to the good parts. This could be good motivation to step my game up. hmm.

I may play the Skillz game tonight. I have had back to back cashes and I could have gotten first last week but I figured Bam needed the money more. I have been having some fun playing these but they do take a while. I was thinking of overtaking PirateLawyer in the standings for this game however I said "Waffles is better than PirateLawyer" and it did not sound good. I mean I need an accomplishment that means something. Beating some no-name hack just does not cut it. :P.

Otherwise not too much going on. Veneno convinced me to play an 11$ SNG. I was kind of tired so did not play great. She of course won it with riddonculous play. haha. No actually she was playing pretty well. Congratz V!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Numblowme

Rambles

Still frustrated that I missed the Million seat by one. Oh well. This is some of the funniest shit I have read in a long time. I was laughing so hard.

Um - one girl was sitting on the toilet, the other girl was on her knees, and they were doing the kind of thing you would see on a website that would be blocked at work.

I screamed like a little girl, and then Shawna and I went running back out into the club. I never laughed so hard in my life. I was SERIOUSLY shocked. I thought for sure they would be snorting some lines or possibly passed out on the toilet. I was not at all prepared for a live porn show right there in the bathroom.-- CarmenSinCity

Chicks have to live in a different world than us men. If I ever peeked over the top of some guys stall he would probably chase me down with shit hanging out of his ass and beat the fuck out of me.

My SNG run has slowed a bit but I have no complaints. Can anyone tell me if a 21% ROI in SNG play is any good? I think it might be. The last loss I had was brutal but the new and improved Waffles just laughed and shrugged it off. After 3 raises before him my opponent jammed on the bubble and I insta-called. He had 44 and I had KK. I really hate Kings lately. Anyway the two fours on the flop were not helpful. Then Full Tilt starts taunting me like crazy showing me flops like K44x and K4x4 and all kinds of shit like that. Every possibility where Kings lose to fours. It was mean. I took it all in stride though.

My beloved Red Sox have to go home after a valiant effort. I am truly saddened by the loss. Taking off the fan hat though I think that a Philly-Tampa World Series is a good thing for baseball. People get tired of the Sox and Yankees winning every year. A more balanced game seems to be a good thing. I can still cheer for the Phillies in the series too. I get rights of marriage ownership of the Phillies. The kids even have shirts and hats from the team.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Weird

All Full Tilt is down including the website. Bastards deserve it after the fucking cooler I had. I spot away from 1 MILLION MTT entry and I hit trips vs a boat. Ok. Ok. I should have fucking just sat out instead of messing with the only guy who could bust me but fuckfuckfuckityfuck.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Amazing

The comeback the Redsox made last night brought back some good memories of when we overcame the worse deficit a team ever has and beat the Yankees on the way to a World Series win. We may or may not beat the Debil Rays but this game was really awesome.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Vegan and Moolah

First off to Elaine. I am starting the Vegan thing Dec 1st. I am reading up. I tried a TV Dinner of fake Meatloaf by Annie. I did not hate it but it was not very good. It was like a slab of green stuffing. I am going to keep trying different things in between my carnivore ways to see what I like. I think the hardest thing to give up will be butter. I mean it is in EVERYTHING.

I played some poker tonight. I tried the Matrix SNGs. While they are kind of fun they really are for people with ADD. I mean damn those things are nuts. I really did not like them. I did well in the first one with a 1,1,4,9 score and tied for first for $26.. so on an 11$ investment I made $26. Meh. Contrast that with the last 10 22$ SNGs I have played. I have gone 8-10 with 6 first places for a gadzillion dollars. Ask Bayne to do the math. haha. Trick question though because I am not sure what the other two finishes were. Anyway Matrix is for ADD people and the only advantage it has possibly over a regular game is less variance but I prefer to go for more money. I need more money to stay break even.

RANT

I hate stupid people. Perhaps I am stupid and do not know what I am doing. Since they hired me to fix some retards broken system that everyone and their mother complains about I sort of doubt that.

First the retard tells me that I have to use more temp tables. I try and tell him there are better ways. However he will not listen and I just ignore him. The other day his database hard crashed. Why? The temp table grew too large and shutdown the DB. Now this is a DBA issue really but it is one of the many reasons you do not want to overuse temp tables.

Next the jackass is trying to tell me that views are bad. Um. Why? Because temp tables are better. No. Why are views bad? You do not have a fucking clue do you motherfucking retard? The first day we started the project our boss said Shitty system you wrote left side my new system right side. I have full control over the right side and you will not fuck it up anymore than you have already. So go fuck yourself.

Oh Fuck!

I almost forgot the #1 thing I would buy if I won the lottery. Jesus what was I thinking... TAZER GLOVES! I always wanted a pair. You look all harmless but if someone fucks with you "DONT TAZE ME BRO!". BOOM! Gimme some!

Here is a fun peek into my life.. Wife and I are discussing this huge Raccoon we had in the garbage today. Tazer gloves so would have worked.

Me: Well.. Do we get to make a hat of him if he is dead? I mean the hat would be worth it. Wife: That's right because you are so artistic and manly... (... = Sarcasm)Me: HEY! That was not an eek when I saw the Raccoon it was a Battle Cry! Her: Well then your battle cry sent it into the woods...the AC officer said it ran off...sure to be back tonight so get ready for battle you hunter you!

I better get those Tazer gloves soon.. hmm, might be good for the wife problem too.. (Evil Chuckle).

DISCLAIMER: If any law enforcement officers are reading this no raccoons or wives were harmed with tazers during the making of this blog post, no said entities will be harmed in the future with said devices either. All right reserved.

Gimme some of that ass baby!

Holy fuck are these real pictures? I mean I am still voting for tits. However this is kind of disturbing if it was true. Is he gay? Does he want sex with Obama's ass? Has dementia set in early? Can someone clear this up for me?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Instant Tragedy

I got this from IT. First off this is stupid because I do not know how much I won. Did I win a million or some real money? I need to know peeps.

IF I WON THE LOTTERY…I would do these 11 things:

1. DIVORCE Finally I could afford that glorious day I have been saving up for forever. The kids would be well taken care of with the Lottery money so I would not have to worry about screwing up their lives if I left. It would be very cool.

2. BORING I would do all the boring things like pay off my bills and my mortgage. Reducing the amount of money I need to live on. Would make things easier.

3. VEGAS BABY The Vegas gathering would be a blast. I would rent out a suite and fly out anyone who wanted to go. Let them stay with me for free and have some nice parties. Probably throw some cash on top of the Blogger MTT too. I am going to win anyways so might as well add a bit.

4. WORK I would totally keep working. I actually to some degree enjoy my work. I used to really like it a ton. I might take a different lower paying job possibly part time so I could have some free time to fix my life.

5. HOOKERS Honestly I can not see myself buying a piece of ass. No disrespect to my blogger brethren who partake. I mean one part of me actually probably would get off on humiliating and degrading a woman but the other part of me would probably never let me stop feeling guilty about it. I guess I might be a nice guy? blah.

6. TRAVEL Why the fuck would I want to go somewhere else? I mean everyone else in the world is trying to get HERE. If I did any traveling it would be to hit up the blogger boys in every state. Party down at Al's bar, shoot something with Gary, I dunno.. Just have some fun and travel a bit in style. I guess if I was to travel to any country it might be Amsterdam with Pauly and Change? That sounds like fun. However given my view on Hookers it might not be that much fun.

7. WSOP Why the heck not. If I make that much money I might as well have some fun in the big game.

8. BANKROLL I would surely fund myself online. I would not go crazy but I would make sure I could play higher level games and MTTs whenever I wanted to.

9. HOUSE I would probably buy a new, bigger, better house and stock it with all sorta of electronical goodness. Including new computers for the whole family and all that jazz. I would hire an architect to design my house and it would probably be some sort of Victorian style house with secret passageways and rooms everywhere. Like a Scooby Doo cartoon.

10. INVEST I would totally use a chunk of the money to make sure I always had a decent amount of income coming in. It would all be in pretty safe vehicles that just made me enough to live on every year and take care of the kids and their educations going forward.

11. BUM HUNT Yeah I always wanted to do this. I would hire some professional hunters and we would get a bum from the streets and hunt him down and kill him. Like in the movies. That would be so cool! Nahh just kidding. I ran out of ideas. Fuck I need to get a life.

That’s what I would do If I won the lottery. I never pass on the mememoomoo things but if you want to answer the question the go for it. Apparently I am more popular than I think and tend to cause things to spread like wildfire through the bloglines. Everyone wants to be your friend when your break even baby.

Noice

I had a really good night last night. I doubled up playing 5/10 LO8. Took first in a 22$ SNG. Took third in the Skillz game. I had a good shot to repeat and go back to back firsts but just did not get the hands I needed late. Had a lot of fun messing with Bam Bam though. He was my bitch most of the game even if he finished first or second. I do not know which because he and PirateLawyer pussy split at the end.

As for the Vegan thing I am starting in December I have decided to try some stuff before I go cold turkeytofu. So I bought a TV dinner last night. I will give it a try and let you guys know what I think. I am more interested in some of the cooking though. I was reading through some recipes the other day. It has been a while since I have cooked. I actually used to enjoy it. I might be because the wife and I cooked while dating. It usually ended up with her reaching down my pants and us screwing on the couch/kitchen table/living room floor/etc, etc.. Good times. She even had roommates which added a little spice with the getting caught aspect...

To continue with the Vegan theme here is a fun question for you non-Vegans. You hottie chick Vegans can skip this part. If someone injected you with a slow acting poison that would kill you after a year and forced you to make this choice which would you choose: Prince Albert/Princess Albert or Vegan. Bonus points if you have a Princess Albert and tell me!!! Tomorrows quiz may be "Which Blogger chick is most likely to have a Princess Albert?". I am evil.

Tonight is the MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK. I hate that mofo. He is such a fucker. Last week I went out in 12th place or so when I lost focus deep. I was just getting a little bored I guess. See if I can hold it together this week.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Veggies Anyone?

I think I am going to try an experiment and go Vegan for a month. Now I may have a little trouble not exploiting fruit flies in Brazil or some such nonsense but I will do my best. I do not really beleive in Veganism or even Vegetarianism but I think eating a little healthy for a month might be good.

I also am doing this as a tribute to Elaine who is totally into the whole Vegan and protecting animals thing. A lot of people call her crazy. I however respect that she has an opinion and is very dedicated to it. Commitment and dedication scare people these days and I think she deserves respect for that even if you do not agree with her opinions. I have always found her presentation of her views to be very non-judgmental and not full of attacks but just passionate statements of her beliefs. I also want to encourage her hot video blogs to continue!!

I figure that this one month campaign will save 1 cow, 16 chickens, 4 pigs, and other assorted mystery meats. So a pretty good gain for the Vegan side!!!

Realistically there is no way in hell I am missing out on Turkey Holocaust day. I also need to be safe about this. Going from eating pounds of bacon and burgers every day to whatever the hell Vegans eat is not gonna be easy. So I will get some books and stock up on some vitamins and shoot for starting my new diet on December first. Wish me luck.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Politics

Here are some of my views on Politics I shared with friend Fluxer this morning.

SirFWALGMan: Here is the thing my state will always vote dem no matter what so my vote doesnt matter so if I vote for her (Palin) if like I see her drunk in some Alaskan bar someday I can say "Hey Baby I voted for you baby come suck my dick"

Fluxer: "every vote counts" ... bullshitSirFWALGMan: haha ya and if they do count we will change them corruption baby!

Fluxer: they just don't bother with corruption in massSirFWALGMan: lol yaSirFWALGMan: more like swing states like Florida and Ohio places where dumb people live where they can be like "Yes, Obama is spelled McCain" yes yes, true that.

Of course see my previous posting stating Obama is the Anti-Christ also. Top notch political reporting Waffles style!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Fiddy Blow Me

Played the Turbo Fiddy. Never have I see such bad poker. I started off great getting up to 6k early.. then I lost with winners like AK jam all in pre- getting called by Q3o and 67 s000ted for their entire stacks. These people are just such genii?

SNG run is going well. 6-0, with 4 firsts in the last few. Playing one now but signed up for LO8 by accident.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Pussy

Unlike Drizzle I am not a pussy and am totally comfortable playing way above my bankroll. See where that has gotten me. Solid break even baby. However Drizz is not the before named pussy of this story, no, instead it is RecessRampage who I figure owes me two hundred bucks. After reading about his riddonculous plays I decided to have some fun last night and sat down at one of his 1/2 tables. He almost immediately gets up and runs off scared. I only sat down to take his easy money and he runs away like a pansy panty wearing pussy fuck. I then proceed to lose my money on one fold I think I needed to make and one retarded call by the dipshits that play 1/2 NLHE.

The first play I may have been bluffed out of a pot. I raised KK in MP and get one caller. The flop comes 678 and I pot and get called by the one guy in the hand with me. The turn is a nine and he jams his stack in. All three hundred. Can I make that call or do I take the fifty buck or so loss and keep my other one fifty. Really thinking about this next time I probably just jam in on the motherfucker on the flop. Fuck him.

So the next riddonculous hand is so retarded it makes me want to fucking play 1/2 again tonight. I raise from LP with pocket sevens and get re-raised by the blind. He may be fucking with me who knows. So the flop comes 22J and he leads out for 30. I really feel he does not have a jack and I have around 130-150 left so I jam in on him hoping to get him to fold. I guess that pocket nines are the nutz as he insta-calls and takes down the pot. I really do not get how he makes this call. I really hate the call honestly. I had been playing very few hands and the one hand I did show was KINGS. Not really sure what possessed him to make this call but if everyone at 1/2 plays that badly I would think Gary could make a killing. Oh well whateva. So that is why that panty waist Recess owes me two hundry.

I then had a ton of fun donkey the shit out of 25/NL. I made no attempt to play anything resembling good poker and drop a hundred easy. Lucky for me I took 3 of 4 SNG games for $270 in total and salvaged the night. The fourth one I lost AA vs 77 all in pre-flop. I know these results are retardedly good but in every single game I had a HUGE lead and just applied a ton of pressure. The players I remember from SNG play were all wild maniacs that jammed every hand. These guys are the weakest wimps I have ever played again. What the hell has happened? I dominated the fuck out of them once I realized they would not play back at me.

A couple of examples. In one game I was second in chips with five people left AND HAD NOT SEEN A SINGLE SHOWDOWN! Hello? Not one river. Wow. What a way to avoid river suckouts huh? How the fuck does that happen? No idea.

One of the more fun games I had a nice 6k chips lead. This one donkey kept raising my blind so finally I just call him with 79o. He laughs and says "What did you think I had 78o?".. I turn to him and say "No, I was just warning you that you better find someone else to steal blinds from because I will bust you.".. He calls me a tough guy but stops raising my blind. So a few hands later I raise in EP and he is still a short stack. He jams over the top of me and I am like whateva you do not have any chips to scare me and call off with some retard hand like 78s, he flips over ATs and we are off to the races. He obviously loses and then cries that I was picking on him and made him bubble. Mess with the bull you get the horns baby.

So I may keep on with the SNG train until I get bored of that. My current ROI is 18% over 270 games which is pretty decent. I am continuing to play the 14$ 75-peep Token races and hopefully will get into the 750 Guaranteed this weekend. I also want to hit up Dr. Paulies PLO event. I keep missing it and I have a few bucks on Stars now.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Bad Beat

You are The Fool

The Fool is the card of infinite possibilities. The bag on the staff indicates that he has all he need to do or be anything he wants, he has only to stop and unpack. He is on his way to a brand new beginning. But the card carries a little bark of warning as well. Stop daydreaming and fantasising and watch your step, lest you fall and end up looking the fool.

The Fool is the most complex and most contradictory of all the Tarot cards. "I am not a number, I am a free man". The Fool represents naivety and childlike innocence - yet the Fool is wise. He carries only what possessions he really needs He journeys through life, tasting everything it has to offer then letting it go and moving on.The Fool is a risk taker, often shown with one foot over a cliff showing us every new beginning has a risk. Whether the Fool represents opportunity or danger one thing is clear: this world needs more fools.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Sexy Rexxy and all that Jazz

Anyways. Lets see. First off I won the Skillz SNG last night. It was LHE and got me to about 8th in the standings with probably like 5 games played all year. I think I am break even there.

I had a good time HU with Lightning. We had a lot of suck-resuck going on and I even caught a two outer to really mess with his mind. Of course he should never have capped my with J5 on the flop. Bitch. He started with a decent sized lead but with the blinds at 1K it really was anyone's game. I noticed him playing like a scared bitch early on and took advantage. Like any good player he noticed that I noticed so adjusted. I found a really nice tell on the guy though. It was hilarious and worked every time. I would tell you what it is but I want to keep using it.

I fucking hate Obama. I can not tell you why. I just have very good instincts about people and just hate his guts. He just fucking sends every alarm in my body screaming out loud. As one blogger said, and I am starting to believe, "Obama might be the Anti-Christ".. Believe it people. Could be true. I was right about Bush and the price of gas. I might be right here.

On the Sexy Rexy front she is offering up her body.. no wait, that was a dream, she is offering up a couple hundred bucks in the form of a subscription to the Poker-X factor. If anyone is interested. Essentially she just wants you to write about the following: -What has playing poker taught you about yourself?

I may do this for fun but if I join PXF I may not be able to stay break even. Read all the details on her blog anyways.

As for my blog it has become a bit stale. I have been thinking about ideas on spicing it up. The HU 500$ SNG is probably the best writing I have done all month on this thing. I was thinking of having an Ask Waffles Friday. No holds barred Q&A session baby. You can ask my advice on things in your life since I am brilliant. You can ask me personal questions. No baby, I will not let you suck my dick, I am married. Ok I will try not to lie in the future. Anyhow. Get your questions in anytime on Friday and I will answer as many as possible by the end of the day.

Otherwise I have nothing really interesting to add. I have been exploring the internals of Poker lately. It is impossible to explain the intangibles to people. In a huge way I think these are what make a great player. Sure you can read guys like Poker Gnome who are very good and they might teach you how to get that 1% more ROI on that 3-bet in late position or some such thing like that. However if you can not reach into the depths of your soul and figure out how to be at peace with your game you will never be a winner. Ok. I guess it is POSSIBLE some spaz like Mike The Mouth could be a winner without inner peace but not you dick for brains. So shut up. Fuck even the Mouth has figured out that his mental attitude costs him a ton of success.

Peace out motherfuckers. I will be playing the Mookie tonight. Even though I lost the bet I think I should be on top of the leaderboard. It only makes sense. So I am going to make it happen.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Technological Advancements

I just read about a pain suit that works with WoW. Now while this is kind of cool and great the only real interest I have here is the implications that Doc Chako spoke about in his blog today.

I think the technology actually could advance to a much higher degree with full body suits interacting with CGI models. However I think these models would be customizable. For instance you could go to any of the latest Bash pictures and pull off a bunch of CK pics. You could then feed these into the system and they would model and take guesses until they created a CK plaything(TM). I may never be able to have CK in real life but Virtual Reality? It could be a possibility. While I doubt that it would know as many moves as CK it would have to be a good runner up.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Short People

It is the Blogfathers fifth year of bloggin. What does Iggy mean to me besides little man dwarf sex. I have been around the little fellow for almost his entire run at Guinness and Poker. I remember my first days as a newbie blogger and how the tiny fellow made me feel like a part of a bigger community. I now realize that he only did this because he enjoyed laughing at my miserable train wreck of poker play in those early days.

Every time I would sit down at a Party Poker table he would show up. I thought it was because he liked me but now I realize that he crunched the numbers and could make more from me at a fifty cent table than he could five tabling 5/10 LHE. Proof that even though his body may be tiny his mind is not.

You as readers of his blog might not realize that he actually knows anything about poker. I personally have never seen him write one bit of original poker theory in all the years I have read him. It appears at first glance he knows nothing at all about poker but is great at cutting and pasting. However I have been blessed by the opportunity to speak with him on girlie chat. Let me assure you he really does not know anything about poker. He keeps encouraging me to be a better player and to really deeply understand poker at a higher level. Positive proof he knows not what he does.

He always answers my questions with a "depends", more proof that his fundamental skills are weak. Somehow lately though I have really begun to understand what he has been saying to me all along and that really makes me a much better player. You're a good friend Mr. Iggy and I feel really blessed to know you. Congratulations on the anniversary of your blog. May there be many more.

Angels, Devils, and Plans

Angles vs Red Sox. WOW. No not WoW. WOW. What a game. Great way to start the series with a pitchers duel. Sure the Sox got some extra help in the late innings but that was one of the best games I have seen in a while. I think this is going to be a fun series. The Angels were a great team all season long. I give them the edge there. The big question is if they will be able to overcome TEN STRAIGHT PLAYOFF LOSSES to the Red Sox. I would not want to be betting this series.

I played the Mookie and busted out early to ScottMc when he did not believe my bluff of a pair of aces. He should have folded his set. Dammit! What an assclown. Actually I think he played a very weak game. He should be shot for letting his game deteriorate that far. I think he went out the next hand when he jammed his A5o into someone who had AA. I am not positive. Just saying. I wonder if he will ever blog again?

I played LO8. Lately I have been letting these cash games get to me. I just get so pissed off when I have A2Q3 s00ted on the turn with two lows and two s000t. Some ass hat calls me with K984 all same suit. No draws except the lower flush. The river pops a miracle fucking king and he takes it down. ARRRH! I really need to stop letting this kind of thing frustrate me.

On the good side of things I ended leaving that table up three full buyins. Some tard was railing me and we agreed if I made it to two hundred from my original sixty buyin that I would send him ten bucks. So I shipped it.

These games have so much short term variance -- which is the part that frustrates me -- but they can be so profitable. Hopefully I can get it under control and just enjoy the game.

I won a 14$ 75-peep token race also. That was fun. I basically played tight until the blinds were at 500ish. I had about a 3-4k stack and there were fifteen people left to the money. I had a limper before me and the blinds. I had been playing very tight. So I decide to jam my AT. He calls for 1/3 his stack with 88. Now this being a game where you do not have to take first I think his call was ridiculous. However he was ahead until I rivered an Ace on his ass. The normal "Why always me", can spewing from his mouth. He actually did hang on to win a token though. I basically folded every hand after this and sat on my 11K stack until it dwindled down to 7K and finally some shorties got kicked.

I was undecided about how to spend my token. I have been making plans and discussing playing the 750K Guaranteed every week. So I dialed up LJ on the IM and asked her what she would spend a token on. Her response was "The 750K SNG Satellite".. "The Whooziwhatzit?".. Go look in SNGs silly. So I did and I LOVE LJ. It is great when things come together like that.

Anyway this is my plan. Ways to get into the 750K Guaranteed:

1. Win 14$ Token Frenzy then use token to play 9 person SNG for 750K entry.2. Play $55 Satellite3. If and only if I have made over 200 bucks in the week I will just buy in directly.

Obviously the first two options are preferred. I can play the 14$ Tokens every night at around 10ish and hit up the Satellite that night if I feel up to it or wait until the next day. I think this is a great plan. I feel like this is going to work out in a big way. Only time will tell though.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

MeMooMoMo

1. Do you have the guts to answer these questions and re-post as The Controversial Survey?Um ok.

2. Would you do meth if it was legal?No. Have you seen those meth heads? I am fucking ugly enough as it is.

3. Abortion: for or against it?I am for free choice but would never feel right about aborting a child I helped make. I think adoption is a much better idea.

4. Do you think the world would fail with a female president?Fuck no! I am in love with Palin and I hope McCain wins and then dies so she becomes president. My fantasy of a world run by sex starved women will be that much closer to reality.

5. Do you believe in the death penalty?I am totally for the death penalty but only in certain circumstances. I think the crime has to be one which you can reasonably assume the person might do it again. A guy coming home and finding his wife in bed with another man and shooting him would not be death penalty. Any serial or mass murderer sure. I include people found to be mentally insane here too. I do not harbor any ill feelings towards them but if they are insane they are likely to do it again and should be put down.

My second criteria for the death penalty is undeniable irrefutable proof. I really do not think anyone should die because a witness said he did it with no proof. At a minimum DNA evidence must be found at the scene.

The only argument against the death penalty that holds any weight with me is that people either make mistakes or get setup by corrupt officials. I think it would be bad to kill an innocent person so I do think that near absolute proof is necessary. If someone innocent was killed though I think I would still support the death penalty. How many innocent people die because murderers are let loose again.

6. Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?Yeah. Be consistent America. Either ban all Alcohol or legalize marijuana. They relatively equal effects in my opinion. If people want to be alcoholics or druggies it is their own decision.

7. Are you for or against premarital sex?I am for all sex. Pro sex here. Please can I have some sex?

8. Do you believe in God?I am not sure. I really can not believe in the institutions that proclaim religion. These places are just too fucked up to be believed. I find it hard to figure out what to believe. I mean there are Muslims just waiting to die because Allah offers them the sixty virgin blowjob scenerio and they believe this is what god wants. Fully. Truly. Totally. So what is the difference between that and a Christian? How can you really know what god wants from you or for you? Even if you do believe this world is too incredible to have randomly occurred what is your next step? People are too willing to be self deceived so how do you separate faith with self delusion and a desire to belong to something bigger than you. I just can not come to terms with any of this.

9. Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?Fuck ya. Why the hell not. If the gays want the pain that marriage brings like 99% of us straights then I say go for it. Child support. Spousal support. All that. You sure you really want all that?

10. Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA?Not really. However stop asking for "Legal" privileges. Your a fucking criminal and you do not deserve unemployment, welfare, or any other social evil that my taxes pay for. I think we need to allow more Hispanics LEGALLY into our country since Americans do not want to do certain jobs anymore.

11. A twelve year old girl has a baby, should she keep it?I would say she should put it up for adoption. Twelve is too young for that kind of responsibility. She basically will either never be able to be a kid or neglect the kid and pass the upbringing onto her parents. I doubt that many of these babies having babies ever work out well so adoption would probably be the best option.

12. Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen?Absolutely. We should start drinking earlier but we as Americans do not drink right. We are a total binge drinking nations where other countries start young and teach their kids to drink responsibly.

13. Should the war in Iraq be called off?yes. Bush is a fucking lying scumbag and no more brave honorable soldiers should die because of his moronic need to feel important or whatever drives that flaming faggot. Our soldiers deserve better than him.

14. Should assisted suicide be legal?I think in cases where you have a terminal illness and your quality of life is gone that doctors should be allowed to terminate you with your consent. I do think assisted suicide should be legal. Obviously not to 16yr olds who think their life is over but to people with no real lives just days of pain and suffering.

15. Do you believe in spanking your children?I think children having a little bit of fear of you is not a bad thing. It should be done under control not when your angry at the kid. I am not sure if it causes your child to act any better but the threat is good to have. With my kids I find my son reacts the best to having things taken away from him. Like no Warcraft for a week. My daughter is a sweet angel and never has to be punished.

16. Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?Fuck ya. Why the hell not. I would do a lot of things for a million dollars.

17. Who do you think would make a better president? McCain or Obama?I used to be for Obama then I heard him talk. I have a very highly trained asshole sensor and it was blaring loud and clear. Holy crap I hate that guy now. I think he is the biggest fucking retard ever. Well George Bush is but he is a close second. I can not vote for him. I think I will be voting for tits this year.

18. Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?Have you read this blog? Hello? Does it appear that I give a fuck what people think? I really have never let other people dictate how I act. If someone is offended by me then that is their problem. If I say something hurtful then sure I am willing to apologize but otherwise fuck you.