Your childhood does not have to dictate how you will behave for the rest of your life.

OnApril 2, 2012

Each one of us is born with our own unique blueprint – a bud of potential. Yet, sadly, this bud does not always reach full blossom or worse, even partial blossom.

Some of us blame our lack of fulfillment on our childhood – we lapse into the blame frame and accuse the ingrained conditioning from our upbringing of stunting our growth. There is no such thing as perfect parenting which in turn, means there cannot be the perfect childhood. If you remain in the blame frame you certainly won’t grow, so pick up the reins and take control of your life.

And while some blame the conditioning, others unquestioningly uphold it.

There are those who blindly uphold the opinions, the rules, the conformity and standards of their parents. Steeped in a bygone mould will not only blind one to the infinite possibilities within oneself, but it will also restrict, if not destroy, interpersonal relationships, especially those with younger generations, whose inherent free spiritedness has not been forgotten.

By becoming incarcerated in ‘the bygone mould’, you will not only have little understanding of those who do not abide by your ways, but you will also miss out on the joy of diversity. With narrowed vision comes narrowed experience. Accepting that we are all different dissolves bias and stems the drain on energy – bias left to fester, becomes brittle bitterness.

The biased person interprets much of what others do that’s different, (particularly if ‘the others’ live in the same household,) as a personal attack. If behaviour doesn’t fit into ‘the mould’, it’s wrong and disrespectful towards the golden olden rules! You can almost hear the voice in their head bleating, “Father said it had to be this way”.

Acceptance of divergent ways frees us to notice and appreciate the positives in others and embrace the spirit of ‘live and let live’. It generates warmth, growth and the cohesion that comes from love.

So sling out the “what was good for my parents’ is good for now”, and listen to your heart as its petals of potential open. Stop managing other peoples’ feelings and learn to experiment and enjoy living experientially in the present.