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​Midlife has a bad rap. The crisis that invariably decorates it, seems strewn with stereotypes of balding men, playing out affairs and purchasing fast cars. There is no or little space for middle-aged women to understand their experience of it. It is unlikely we will even admit to being ‘middle aged’, always focusing on our youth, your young blood, our childlike spirit. But come on now, you are knocking on middle aged if you are anything over 35. Sorry. The truth aches like a menstrual cramp.However, I have news and a view. It is time we reclaim the midlife crisis as a time of resurrection, rejuvenation, transformation and enlightenment. We all had a grand time in our twenties, then probably spent our thirties fixing, firefighting and committing to things. When forty rolls around, if we survived the hermetic attentions of our life, we may feel a number of things, exhausted, frazzled, invisible, lost…A crisis for a woman, at this stage, need not be a thing of marvel or fear. Rather, a recharging of self. A recognition that things are not as they were. Never will be again. But that the bullshit we have suffered under, is something we are ready to release.To do this we must first become conscious of the following three things.

We are not as young as we pretend we are. Filters, angles and fake birthdates aside. We are not in our twenties any more. Let’s drop the act and be fantastic anyway.

We are not fine. We are not okay. Probably we are fed up with your crap and found it easier to shut up and put up than deal. But now is the time to deal, and to become vulnerable in our ‘not okay’ state so that we might fight a way towards better than that.

Life has changed, and we have hidden beneath the eaves of what once was. There is no truth in that. To move forward, we must get in the moment. Be rid of all that you were, the jacket you had since your twenties, the attitude you had at 25, the experience that flawed you as you turned thirty… None of it is relevant. You have surpassed it all. Admit it, and let’s move on.

Are you with me? ​Let me know your midlife musings and inspirations in the comments below!