What is the most important thing you've learned on your own?

In three sentences, explain something that you've learned without being told by another person -- something you've figured out all by yourself. Here's an example:

"I learned how to paint with water colors by reading a book and searching for YouTube videos. It took me a while, but I figured out some techniques that really work for me. I'm not an expert yet, but I have discovered a real joy in painting."

It can be anything -- a practical skill (like painting) or a knowledge set (like how to use mathematics).

Mar 18 2013:
I have learned that letting go is one of the toughest thing you can ever do because you literally are making yourself vulnerable. It takes a lot of courage, strength and faith to believe in yourself, trusting your judgement.

I have learned that a healthy state of mind not only affects your physical well being but also your relationship with others.

I have learned that one needs to cherish and treasure what one has, because sometimes life don't give you a second chance.

Mar 1 2013:
Do to my poor memory and &%#*% public education I had to learn almost everything on my own, on the positive side it made me a great problem solver and it is easy to think outside the box when you don’t recall its edges.
With so many I have to say it depends on the subject:

For health:
*The best diet is one you create for yourself, for we all have unique health needs and taste.
Do an web search for “health-issue diet” with each health-issue, and combine the results and adjust to taste.
*Trust that you know your body/health better than any doctor.

For home projects:
*always consider the maintenance that will be required after it’s built.
*Table saws will cut fingers; I learned that the hard way, luckily only to the bone and not through it.

For work:
*read two articles on your profession every week, and you will become tops in your field.
*never trust HR.

For stress management:
*Take a deep breath, and consider if you will even remember the stressful event in a few months.
*Semi-denial is a powerful tool for the short term. AI: with a major health issue still take your meds, and put it out of your thoughts until your next med time.

In the grand scheme of things:
*Live by the Nine Noble Virtues.
*Death from old age is beautiful, and only looks ugly from our view point.
Try seeing it from their view point and you will realize that they are letting go of all earthly desires and on path to enlightenment.

Mar 2 2013:
I guess one of the most important things I've learned on my own is to be careful about letting other people decide who I am for me. Way too often people will try to tell me I'm this kind of person or that kind of person. Who I am should not be affected by how other people choose to see me.

Feb 25 2013:
I am what I want to be and not what other people think of me. When i was 3 years old, my mother and I were in a car accident; I survived, she didn't. I am now 18 years old.
As devastating as it was, I'm thankful (in a weird, hindsight-led way) that my mom died when I was young. After she died, there was an outpouring of love that came onto out household. It seemed like everyone my mom and dad had ever known was calling us, the phone was constantly off the hook, and they were offering love. In a way, my mother's passing led to me being raised by the community we lived in.
Now, here I stand 15 years later and I'm very active in activist circles campaigning for social justice, I slam poetry, and all the local business owners know me on a first name basis.
The most important thing I've learned on my own is that from every loss, every devastating blow, there is good. Although it may not be obvious, or it may not reveal itself until decades later, it is there. I am a child of the streets, even though I have a loving father, and I consider everyone in my community a member of my extended family.

Mar 4 2013:
I've learned that you will not be happy if you live your life trying to satisfy "the crowd". It is when you find that special thing you want to do, and do it regardless of what anyone says, that you can truly be happy. And I se it every day, people taking major choices about their future, based not on their will or interrest, but on what "the crowd" (friends, parents, the norm) does.

I've also learned that insight is the most powerfull tool that one can posess.

Mar 3 2013:
I've learned to appreciate my struggles in life because I believe there's something beautiful in struggle. If I didn't have challenges in life I might never have learned to appreciate the small things in life that I think most Americans take for granted such as being able to shower regularly, having a home to come back to and not having to worry about where you're going to sleep at night, or knowing that you have a healthy body complete with two arms and legs to get you to places you need to be.There's beauty in struggle because at that point where we feel weak and helpless some inner part of us that we never knew we had emerges from the depths of our soul and pushes us to grow.

Feb 27 2013:
I have learned that the most difficult moments in life--the experiences that cause you to hit rock bottom and lose faith in the world and yourself-- are the opportunities that build appreciation for tenacious character and strength. We learn early in life that the world isn't fair but when you learn to accept that shit happens and sometimes justice cannot be guaranteed, you lose the need to worry or get anxious. This is when you start to re-focus your energy on how to better prepare yourself for the next hurdle.

There are a lot of self-motivation books, websites and blogs, but until you experience the need to talk yourself through life's simple tasks like getting out of bed, eating a meal or attempting to make appointments for things you used to enjoy, those words just go in one ear and out the other. Don't wait to build yourself mentally or physically because one day you'll appreciate the strength you've built over time.

Feb 27 2013:
Wise words April....don't wait until we hit rock bottom to start building our emotional and physical strength. I am grateful for the fact that I started building, way before hitting rock bottom, so I had some resources to draw from.

Feb 27 2013:
I have learned that I am who I am, and that no one else, no matter how well intentioned can know what I must do to be true to myself. It is easy to say, but not so easy to live. Being true to yourself is not necessarily being selfish either, it is doing things that I know to be most important for personal growth and integrity. It is often not easy, and may seem contrary to others.

Feb 24 2013:
As a teacher, the most amazing thing that I have learned, and continue to learn every year, is that the mind of a child is more amazing than the entire night sky full of stars. On the heels of that, I also have learned/will keep learning that I wouldn't trade the teacher's life for all the money on Wall Street.

Feb 24 2013:
The most important thing I learned on my own was that I can learn on my own.
Today, more than every we need to be resigned to being "life long learners."
This does not mean that we can be content to merely learn through imitating others. We need to commit to knowing what we are passionate about and pursuing at with vigor, and also remaining open to other interesting and engaging ideas. We can learn on our own and must continue to do so. Saying "I can't" or "I don't know how" is a "learned disability" we need to overcome.

Feb 24 2013:
I learn to calm down myself peacefully in meditation.I have done it everyday for three years .I learn to love people around me with my heart.I learn to think quietely.I learn to see things in facts.I learn to reflect myself everyday.

Mar 19 2013:
Good question.....
1. Most of the things we do, say, or believe are culturally programmed into us....they are not original thoughts
2. The Ego settles too quickly & easily for simplistic explanations.
3. If we understand a problem, we do not need the solution, the answer will come out of it, for they are not separate.
(J.K.)

-Learn from that which has no thing to gain...........nature is a good start

Mar 17 2013:
I learned how to cure my husband of the horrible effects of type 2 diabetes by reading books, watching you tube. After 20 years of suffering with the complications of diabetes, In 2003, on my program he came off of 43 units of insulin a day, eliminated severe, debilitating neuropathy in both his feet that limited his walking to 75 feet, eliminated diuretics, eliminated statin drugs, eliminated Naproxen and Nuerontin for pain and lost 100 pounds - 80 in the first 9 months of the program and 20 more a few years ago. We were at Disney World last May and he walked from 8:30 a.m. until 11:45 p.m. with only a short break in the afternoon which we all needed - best part of that trip was seeing the smile on his face at 11:45 p.m. as he came off the monorail at Disney.

A Cleveland Clinic doctor who saw us recently looked at my husband and said, "do you know you would be dead by now if it wasn't for Mary's program?" He was so impressed, he made arrangements for us to tell our story to the local NBC channel.

Dr. Marsh of The Ohio State School of Medicine heard our story and asked us to give the opening remarks to a lecture by Gary Taubes (one of my heroes) author of Good Calories, Bad Calories and Why We Get Fat. Mr. Taubes was at The Ohio State University at the request of Dr. Marsh.

I have created a Keynote (Apple for Powerpoint) presentation and go everywhere delivering hope and help to other diabetics. They need to know that through the right knowledge, they can become an empowered patient and a proactive partner with their doctor in their own healthcare.

Mar 20 2013:
Thanks so much, Scott! I appreciate your kind words. I am blessed to have such a wonderful husband for the past 52 years and I look forward to the next 25 or so together.

The 20 years when my husband was so very ill from diabetes were not so much fun for either of us but he has been back being himself for the past ten years. We're grateful for all we've been given especially in terms of his good health.
Mary

Mar 17 2013:
I learned the Theories and Principals of the Philosophy of Philosophy (PHoPH). It required me to erase all previous education (except math) and acquire 100% thought control. Knowledge is NOT Power, the PHoPH is.

Mar 20 2013:
The "primary source" is an unfinished book I'm writing. Half history of Men of Letters/Half PHoPH. It all started with "Knowledge, itself, is Power" (which Bacon never said) and has expanded way past knowledge and progressing towards Wisdom and even now Abstract (or Theory). Not new, possibly the first was Leucippus, mostly through Democritus and every prolific Philosopher/Physicist/Inventor that followed. Other definitions exist for the Philosophy of Philosophy (i.e. Meta Philosophy) but I believe mine is quite simplistic. Unfortunately, Philosophy today is franchised to the elite, has missed its only goal, and I have trouble understanding when I have to research EVERY sentence of the "academic" Philosophy of today. I will tell you the 3 Principles I have narrowed down are: Conscious Conscience, Common Unity, and the Wisdom of Wisdom (or Theory of Theories). Knowledge, itself, is Empowering. Wisdom itself is Powerful. Wisdom, within itself, is Power. Philosophy has 3 goals:Peace and I forget the other two.
It is not complicated, the ancients were pretty close, we have only complicated or misunderstood the gifts. I take a wide, but not deep, swath looking for what is profound whether it is Epicurus, Jesus (of Philosophy), Lord Kames, Dr. Franklin, Samuel Clemens, (non Physics) Albert Einstein, or Dr. King. Newer discoveries like Dalai Lama and Paulo Coelho or "obscure" ones like John Lennon or Al McGwire.
This book, 'Theorum Philosophiae Principia Philosophia: Conscia Consciencia Commenum Unitatem' is not likely a "TED book", but I have others that may fit like 'Analogica Transferum', 'Paradoxes and Pandoras Boxes' and "Chain of Conscious Series": Reason beyond Perception, Logic beyond Reason, Wisdom beyond Logic, Theory beyond Wisdom, and Faith beyond Wisdom. Any guidance for newer member of TED would be appreciated. I will be fighting an uphill battle due to my lack of high school diploma, but the future is how you see it. I see a challenge.

Mar 8 2013:
The most important thing I've learned on my own and that I think everyone needs to learn on their own is how to learn. Learning how to learn, allows you to remain flexible. Problem-solving, and learning are the most important things in life.

Mar 20 2013:
Read to Read, Read to Live, Read to Learn, Live to Read, Live to Live, Live to Learn, Learn to Read, Learn to Live, Learn (how) to Learn. This is how I originally summarized the Philosophy of Philosophy. To learn is to know and knowledge is power, was the thought process. Knowledge of Knowledge, or Knowledge, within itself, is Power. But beyond Knowledge/Logic is Wisdom. Philosophy defined is "love of wisdom" and therefor the Wisdom of Wisdom is more pure. Beyond Wisdom is Abstract and Faith. Abstract (or Theory) is imagining things that are not known to us and can be verified in truth or falsified, anything else is Faith. The true power is in the Theory of Theory, but this is not possible if you do not first Learn how to Learn.

Feb 26 2013:
When I was young my mother wanted a small landing and set of stairs built from the back of the house. Growing up without a father sometimes can prove to be cruel. Of course I didn't have a clue as to how to begin. I was ridiculed very harshly. Much later in life I built a large deck by myself complete with two sets of stairs onto the back of my home after reading a book from the library. Stairs are fairly complicated if you are to create the most comfortable (safe) ratio of rise and run while making them level too. I'd like to hug the man that wrote that book. God bless him.

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Feb 25 2013:
I taught myself about the basic fundamentals of herbalism and integrative nutrition by reading online resources, talking with various practitioners, and experimenting with my own self-care treatments. It is crucial for me to be an active participant in my own health care. I feel empowered because I have knowledge and a lifestyle that enables me to feel better, manage stress, and heal without solely depending on doctors and medicines with side-effects and sometimes toxic ingredients.

Feb 25 2013:
1. After experiencing racism from people who did not know any better, I learnt to stop being racist and start treating people the way I wanted to be treated.

2. I've become more forgiving and learnt that not holding on to past feelings is the best way to heal ones self. Everyone's bound to their own circumstances, those that act 'wrongly' do so cause they know no better (karma).

3. After experiencing healing through the angels, I have become a strong supporter of helping others heal too. We all do need external help as science is limited to the evolution of the human mind.

Mar 18 2013:
1) The value of a good coach to guide you 2) The value of being Nice to others - if you want the world to be nice to you 3) If you are to be a good at swimming, you have to get in the pool and swim (regularly and with focus)

Mar 17 2013:
I learned I have always had the answers to every one of my life's greatest questions. I only needed to be still long enough to listen to myself. I shouldn't be afraid to hear my inner voice. Its the idle chatter which fills the void I must muddle through.

Mar 17 2013:
Starting a life on my own at quite a young age made me go through experiences which were not always positive and easy to get through but I believe are very valuable lessons, because they somehow build up an 'immune system' against potential obstacles and events I might face with fear in future, or end up getting out of them hurt and demoralized. All these social, intellectual and spiritual experiences go in parallel with the increase in the number of responsibilities one person gains with a life on his/her own. So basically, the most important thing I have learnt is that although living on my own fills me with happiness, pride and the feeling of self-gratitude and self-sufficiency, it also keeps the parameters of responsibility of my actions very high, putting my moral values and future at stake - because only my actions determine the flow and shape of my life.

Mar 11 2013:
I learned the value of education by dropping out of college. After years of working I discovered how much I wanted to think and learn, how empty I felt without using my mind. I decided to go back and study education. Had I not dropped out, I don't think I would have found what makes me happy.

Mar 10 2013:
The value of self expression as a TED member has been an interesting learning experience. Posting on TED was not easy for me. I had to work at it because it required that I would say what I thought publicly at least to the TED community. It was a new challenge and required making observations about things, taking a position, or another focus on the importance of something, etc., but it soon it became unexpectedly rewarding via a credit, or interesting reply, thumbs up, etc.

Most of us do not push ourselves enough to learn and be all that we can be. TED tends to attract individuals who have studied specific fields of knowledge, and/or are engaged professionally. They provide TED TALKS as well as contribute to the reexamination and/or accounting for certain presumptions, claims, etc., which characterizes the posted comments and discussion in response to a given TALK. So these Talks and Responses have expanded my world by becoming more involved in what's going on all around me.

The value of expressing myself is not without a few scars, but these scars have been instructive for the most part motivating and challenging me to measure up.

Mar 10 2013:
I learned Italian on my own, by watching (/listening to) Italian TV shows (or dubbed films) for a limited amount of time 5 days a week for a number of years (about 5). Gradually I started reading books and newspapers and eventually added Italian as one of the official languages I use as a conference interpreter (C language). Eventually, I also participated in the relevant language exam of the Greek Ministry of Education, which I passed (highest level available).

Mar 10 2013:
I have learned Adobe Illustrator by trying, failing and looking at tutorials. I am studying to become a copywriter and no one in my class got why I put so much time into learning it. But now I can present my work in the best possible way, and I'm getting better as I go.

Mar 7 2013:
I learned (from an Anthony Robbins self-help book, no less) to identify my core values and to hold myself to them. Guiding myself by those values made working through the most difficult problems so much easier - not necessarily easy, but easier. When I look back on my history of decision making, the only regrets I've had are when I didn't stick to those values.

Mar 6 2013:
After a childhood of knowing soup only came from cans, I learned how to cook on my own, from scratch, when I lived in Russia. There was minimal processed food, so if I wanted chicken soup, I need to buy a chicken, finish plucking it, and figure out how to make soup using only a pot and a heating element. From this experience, I gained a love of cooking, experimenting with cooking, and attempting to figure out how to make food "the hard way" (or the fun way!).

Mar 6 2013:
i learned that everybody is bias on some level and the only way to have true empathy is to understand (at least somewhat) where these people are coming from and if more people had this idea the would would be a much kinder place

Mar 5 2013:
1. I started an NGO by myself, and this was something that happened by just thinking about it.
2. I learnt that rather than talking about how others became successful, I should just do what I am capable of doing.
3. I learnt that most successful people are college dropouts. No point in studying books. I think one should study Life.

Mar 10 2013:
"3. I learnt that most successful people are college dropouts. No point in studying books. I think one should study Life."

How are you defining "successful?" If it's monetarily, then I think your statistics are off. While there are certainly a notable few who have found monetary success without completing (or attending college), the lions share of successful people do in fact have college degrees.

Mar 4 2013:
I've developed an effective leadership style that centers on the value of intrinsic rewards by making all of the members of my work group and their contributions feel appreciated, which makes them want to do everything well.

No one teaches you how to deal with disappointment. ...Figured that one out all by myself.

Mar 3 2013:
I learned to understand the rate at which I remember things. In school some things "come easy", and others do not. The things that "came easy' were formulas and things which I no longer study. When I raised my tolerance for learning, I became willing and patient to learn things I may not be 100% enthusiastic about, but say 80%, which is still just as great a reason to take the time to learn

Mar 3 2013:
Let's see... 'learning' is a big meaningful word for me since I'm a mother and a teacher . So far (because I never stop learning) I've learned that 'learning' something means getting entirely involved, it means doing it, it means getting into the roles of an investigator, an artist, a listener, a chef, a therapist.... into whatever role that may help you to explore all you need to know about something or someone. I've learned as much from children as from adults, age is not a condition, it's their different views of life that teach you different things, It can be bad experiences or good ones, but you always learn from both.

Mar 2 2013:
My education is mainly based on me locking myself in a room with the thing I want to learn for hours on end, day after day. Easily, the most important thing I taught myself was, and will always be, philosophy. Nearly everything in one's life boils down to philosophy. With a clear view and an understanding mind, one is able to make the best choices.

2 Identify your windows: These are things that as part of your life, put you "en-joy". E.g. windows are my windows, sailing is my window, hiking is a window, gardening is a window, engaging in meaningful dialogue is my Window (btw I Love TED these conversation speak for themselves, not sure why I waited so long to engage here) etc.

3 Commit to being happy: Identify 10 things that make you happy; promise yourself each day you will do at least one of them; you will spend the rest of your life being happy

4 my daily affirmation: Give me the Determination to Persevere and the Perseverance to Endure

So for me there is on "most important thing" We are too complex to assume (obviously I speak for myself) that only one thing deserves that designation as "the" most important. That would also preclude that in life as my journey continues, nothing else will be more important.

Feb 26 2013:
well, when i think about learning something..there are many things that we learn in our life,... the most important thing i have learned on my own is how to live ! Life is so beautiful and it would be the way u want if you learn how to live!

Feb 26 2013:
I created an "impossible to be" image of the perfect moral self and I try to be like this person, which is how most religions appear to pitch their god(s), so, in essence, a God is in all of us and we are all Gods. Just my opinion, but I allow myself to be called wrong, which would be the human part of me, I think.

Feb 25 2013:
The most important thing that I have learned on my own is to 'do' rather than contemplate.

Set a goal..the smaller the better..And just from the moment I decide it,I should start thinking and working on it. It can be anything-making sure that the dress I have to wear for a party is ready on time,that I take prescribed medicines regularly,that the dance skit I am preparing should be done well,schedule and do my studies in an organised fashion..I must really highlight these things in my mind and say to myself-it is important I respect it and try to do it well.

The MOST important thing underlying all these different activities is the fact that all of them should be seen as a part of my 'Karma'-things that I am supposed to do. I shouldn't feel a huge sense of achievement after doing them. Doing the things I do properly should become a routine. Like I eat,I bathe daily,they should be taken as chores that are part of my daily life.

Also,I must clearly see the end goal and form a connection with it. For ex-while preparing the dance,I must really visualise the entire thing on stage and want from the deepest bottom for it to go well.

Feb 24 2013:
I really appreciate your thought of 'learning things by your own''......3 things which I would like to share are :
* I learned to work hard towards society ......to get noticed by god......
* Face it.....don't fear it.........is a live example to explore urself
* Today is a gift.......that's y it is present....!!!!!.......believe in self and become creator....

Feb 23 2013:
I've learned that the inner self is far more important than the outer. The outer is just a protective shell which although sometimes necessary and case hardened, needs to be opened up occasionally to reveal genuine truths about me, about others and our correct place in the greater scheme of things.

Feb 23 2013:
I've learned that life is a journey... it can never be copied or planned. It comes and shocks you to death; it may twist your arm til you scream but in the end, it's all up to you if you're going to sob and cry because of the pain or wipe the tears away and move on with your injured self :')

Feb 22 2013:
Jordan,
One important thing I've learned on my own, and figured out all by myself, is how to live alone and be content:>)

I had never lived alone in my life.....going from home of origin, to cohabitating with room-mates...to marriage and children. When I divorced after 24 years of marriage, the kids were in college and not living at home, I was diagnosed with cancer, and a month later sustained a near fatal head injury.....my mother and father died within that time frame as well. I felt very alone, which did not feel comfortable at first, and I learned to like it a LOT!

Life is life, and we can make it "ausum"......or not. I learned when I was young, to let go of frustration and discontent, and do my best to move through challenges. I may feel emotionally and/ or physically hurt, confused, frustrated, and have a "poor me" attitude for a minute, then I move on. Holding onto those feelings simply uses energy that I can use in a more productive way.....learning. It's good to experience all the feelings, determine what we CAN and CANNOT do about it, and move on....learning, growing and evolving with all of the life adventures:>)

Feb 22 2013:
As an artist I've spent most my life in discovery and RnD. I didn't go to college, having a natural "talent", but did study on my own the techniques of other artists and spent hours, if not years, observing the world around me to figure out how things work and to emulate and apply aspects of what I observed to my work. I would often take on projects that required knowledge I didn't yet possess in order to learn more.

But the most important thing I learned on my own was to except nothing I was told on face value and to learn the truth of things myself. I have always questioned everything….well, ever since finding out the truth of Santa Claus...

Mar 22 2013:
give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. teach a man to fish and he'll become dependent on your instruction.

i learned this a long time ago but wasn't completely aware of it until recently. the best teachers never taught me anything (and especially never told me anything) but rather created situations and set tasks and restrictions where i could not but learn and increase my skills and potential in order to achieve them.