Deal-breakers…we all have them—in our jobs, relationships, friendships, where we live. Those things that we just can’t tolerate in our lives. Things that make us anxious, frustrated…even angry. Those things that, when encountered, put a damper on our quality of life.

Deal-breakers are not the same for everyone. It’s “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” so to speak. What one person likes or tolerates, another person just can’t live with.

People tend to be passive when it comes to expressing their deal-breakers. It’s viewed as a bad thing if you’re not positive, agreeable, acceptable, and tolerant. This passivity causes you to make decisions that don’t fit. You end up in situations that make you unhappy. You end up accommodating the needs of someone else and ignoring your own. Living with deal-breakers creates inner chaos. You lose harmony and joy. You feel like you’re swimming against the tide. You feel like something needs to change!

Unfortunately, trying to change the situation or person, after the fact, is a difficult and often unsuccessful way to go about it. The easiest and best way to live without deal-breakers disrupting your harmony is to avoid them in the first place. Be mindful enough to steer clear.

Just smile and walk away.

This is accomplished by knowing yourself and acting intentionally. You must be courageous enough to speak up. It takes being able to say “I’m not okay with that”, “this situation is not for me”, or “I think I’ll pass”. It takes the ability to identify what you need and then using that knowledge to drive your actions and choices.

When you can smile and walk away from what you don’t want, it opens you up to moving in the direction of what you do want. The more you do that, the happier you will be!