Local Fuckwit Still Yells ‘Taxi!’ Whenever Someone Drops A Glass

Local fuckwit, Ed Hatton (28) is still yelling ‘Taxi’ every time someone spills a drinks or smashes a glass, in any social situation.

The once classic gag, that Hatton learnt at a footy club he played for in 2006, is now considered to be the ultimate faux-pas – but it is one of very few tried and true one-liners he has on offer.

“I’m just a bit of prankster!” he says, while people at the back of the pub talk about how much of a wanker he is.

“The other day I saw a woman accidentally knock a wine glass over a balcony. It shattered on another woman’s head in the beer garden below. There was blood everywhere,”

“[laughter] I bet you know what I did next,”

“I just went for it ‘aaaa-taxxxxiiiii” [laughter]”

“I didn’t really know any of the people there, and most of them were focused on finding a medical kit and calling an ambulance. I think she had to go to hospital ha ha,”

The joke, which implies that the person being ridiculed has had too much to drink and should get a taxi home, has become less funny of late – as Australian state governments continue to implement over the top liquor licensing rules.

Betoota publican, Bill Burleigh, says yelling ‘taxi’ is enough to get you get kick out of his pub.

“Mate, I could get a $20,000 fine if someone is found to be drunk in my venue. I don’t want anyone making a scene like that,”

“By impyling that someone has had too much too drink, you are only saying two things: ‘This person is drunk and they should go home, and this bartender should be fined'”.

This publican needs his licence taken off him now.
He wants to suppress any claim someone might be drunk in a area he is suppose to be policing. Instead of doing his job he wants to cover it up by throwng out anyone that might recognise he is failing.