Of course, it isn’t only fellow oldsters who make the worst flying seatmates. However, we must admit there are too many bothersome elders who can make a fast two-hour flight seem like a slow ten. Further, when they see you’re also a seasoned citizen, they suddenly feel a warm fuzzy kinship, and simply must share their affairs in the air. For example:

Gabby Granny: You’ll be treated to the latest photos of her grandkids. Ain’t they cute? A smile from you is never enough. She expects you to look, gush about the evil little faces, and listen endlessly to the brilliant antics of her wonderful descendants.

Political Polecat: He demands you agree that one party is all bad and the other all good. You may try to endure shrillery about Hillary, melodrama about Obama, wailin’ about Palin or a moaner about Boehner.

Valiant Vet: You get war stories about his heroic combat in the jungles of ‘Nam, Korea or Guadalcanal. Actually, the grizzled old warrior spent two dull years typing up personnel reports in a Georgia Army camp.

Excruciating Entertainer: This one will regale you with inflated stories of how she could’ve been a famous star if only... Worse, she’ll wail some of her most infamous off-key songs just for you.

Gruesome Griper: This seasoned senior will moan his King Lear lament about how ungrateful kids are these days. He’ll yak that his rich son is too cheap to buy daddy first-class tickets, condemning him to sit next to low-class characters like you.

Coping With In-Flight Pests: Once the annoying seatmate gabbing begins, put on your eye mask, apply earphones, utter a polite word or two and turn away. If your yappy seatmate takes the hint, you’ll enjoy the rest of the flight in blessed peace.