City guy is walking near a farm and spys a farmer doing chores. He calls out a friendly greeting and explains that he just bought the farm down the road and needs to get some livestock. The farmer nods and says "Well Son I happen to have a donkey, a pesy rooster and some chicks for sale if your interested." The city boy nods and the farmer quickly explains what each animal is called and adds "The donkey is old and stuck in his ways. If'n he sits down just give him a good scratch and he'll jump right up!"
As he's walking home the city boy juggles a rooster, a chick and the lead rope of the donkey. Suddenly the donkey sits down! With his hands full the boy stands there unsure of how to proceed.
A car filled with young ladies pulls over and they ask if they can help. He beams and eager to show his grasp of the local lingo nods his head and smiling broadly asks, "Could you hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?"

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. "Breast-fed," she replied. "Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."

YES! I was hoping there was a joke thread. A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family." The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on." She did and said "I don't fit into these." "That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!"

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!"

two pensioners at the shady rest were feeling a bit hot and bothered and snuck off to the broom closet for a quickie. The woman said to the man "not to rough now, i have acute angina." the man gave her a look and replied "thats good 'cause those are the ugliest tits i've ever seen!"