Muzik,You And Me

You may have noticed from my previous posts that I am a music aficionado. I don’t know whether that’s the right word to use (aficionado) or if I am just using that word because I have always wanted to use it in a conversation so I could sound really self-important and knowledgeable; or just maybe it is because it rhymes with ‘olodo’ (which I am not). Or avacado (which I like).

I try not to be far away from music. Back in the day, my huge cassette and CD library were the first things I packed into my luggage on a trip anywhere, before clean pants or my passport. I have gone through many MP3 player earphones, like Goldie and bronzers or the Federal Government and power sector plans. I listen to quite a diverse range of artistes, and shuffling through my MP3 player, you are likely to see Wu Tang Clan right next to The Kooks. Though they are both the names of dogs, you would probably see a DMX gangsta banger next to a Beethoven’s classic composition. Or some Duncan Mighty after you skip something from Maroon 5.

There is a Greek proverb that says “Whom ever does not like women, wine and song is a fool.” Well let’s just say that I must be quite wise. I like Chi Chi, palmi sangria and jamming.

I am more into lyrics and personality than beats. That’s the hip-hopper in me. Yes music is great for dancing and bumping in your car stereo, but if you do not get a thought-provoking response from it, or if it lacks enough depth to be played on your I-pod as you lay at night, then there is a huge problem. By now you would have guessed that I don’t really listen to Justin Beiber or half of all Nigerian artistes. For the latter, I do like some of Duncan Mighty’s material, and M.I’s most definitely incredible especially his most recent album. And that’s not forgetting the older acts.

I hate to sound like a papa, and wax lyrical about the lack of substance of modern music compared to the old school jams we were brought up on. Everybody likes to talk about the good ol’ days. Yawn. It is true – a lot of the new music from nowadays fail to inspire. Strip some of them off their fancy beats or flashy videos, and you are left with sounds similar to a Coke counter scrapping the ground. And don’t get me started on Auto-tune. I prefer to auto-wind or auto-eject.

What happened to music you could fight or fuck to (pardon my French)? Fela taught us how to war and question; many babies were conceived when their folks were bumping Marvin Gaye at night. Majek Fashek turned us into rain-makers; and Sunny Ade made the most socially awkward of us the life of the party with his infectious jams that made you dance. Even Shina Peter’s famous “Afro Juju” songs transcended ethic lines, such that the most Igbo merchants felt the songs too. I could not understand a word of Eva Edna Ogoli’s Isoko accent but I knew she was making sense with whatever she was saying. Who knows whether she was swearing for us, the listeners sef? Who cared? How many people could even decipher Shaba Rank’s chants?

Now every artist nowadays wears huge Rayban or aviator sunglasses in his videos and pops champagne. Nigerian acts like The Mandators (remember them?) and Danny “Mr. Raggamuffin” Wilson used to look you dead in the eye as they performed their songs. I can swear that I recently saw an old video for Lekki Sunsplash where the artist looked like he had apollo, but he connected with his audience, and the crowd was kept jumping. After hearing Felix Liberty’s “Ifeoma” as a youngster in primary school, I swear I wanted to find my own “Ifeoma” and dash her my “Mathset” ( a really big deal then for some reason) out of love. Consolation prize, but I did later develop a thing for a girl called Ihuoma in Primary 6. I used to share my Nasco Wafers with her but only after licking clean the cream filling).

And in Uni, Celine Dion albums were the hardest to find on Saturday afternoons, because that was when most fellas were expecting female company so they knocked from one apartment door to the other trying to borrow Celine Dion’s greatest hits from their pals. Apparently Ms Dion’s music worked wonders with chicks. Well personally I can’t stand her voice, so it would put ME off, not to talk of my date. Besides, nothing could beat R Kelly’s “Bump and Grind” if you had a female guest over. Wimps preferred Joe though. How could they ever expect Joe’s music to set the mood when he sings songs like “I Wanna Know” and “Why Are All The Good Girls Taken All The Time”?

Most girls I have been involved with have shared a similar love and taste with mine for music. I have been on dates where I and the lass just parked the ride in a dark car lot (yes in Nigeria!), pulled open the car sun roof, slipped in an Incubus CD, and gazed at the stars while chatting about everything. We also had the windows up tight and the doors locked for fear of muggers, but music and love are the best things ever, eh? The foggy window sessions were the best…ha ha.

Different views about music are sometimes a signal of incompatibility. If that girl you fancy thinks that Soulja Boy is the greatest thing since sliced bread, you really should think twice about your future with her. You had better Superman out of there after you kiss her through the phone. I once got into a heated argument with a date who swore that M.J wasn’t the king. She actually rooted for another Michael – Bolton. Biko biko. She also thought Mariah was superior to Whitney (before the drugs kicked in). She also opined that Ruggedman had a better catalogue of work than M.I. Hmmmm. I respected her strong views and independent tastes, but there are some lines you don’t cross. We never had a second date after that. Michael Jackson is the king. By the way, we never had a 2nd date because she moved to Jand for school, and is now married to a rich politician’s son, who can actually afford to buy her a whole car, rather than sit in one for a date. Bye bye.

My old man put me on to music as a kid. He had stacks of records – Sir Warrior, Dionne Warwick, Diana Ross, Oliver De Coque, Handel, Mozart, Shalamar, Jackson 5 – you name it. I would watch him play record after record during family gatherings even when I was just at an age where I preferred to use them as Frisbees. I nearly took off my cousin’s head during a rough tossing game with a Barbara Streisand Record.

Part of my pre -blog awards manifesto was that this blog would become more personal, and I will open myself up to you guys a bit more (if you want me). Prepare to be slightly disappointed as my private life is not nearly about fast cars, fast women and ever faster cash. I won’t also reveal my identity – think of me as Lagbaja or Mil Mascaras (the masked wrestler from WWF). Or public accountability and Nigeria’s oil fund. The more you look, the less you see.

That said, let me kick-off by putting my MP3 player on shuffle and choosing the first 15 random songs. It is said that you can tell a lot about someone by the music they listen to. If you have Zaki Azay in your collection, that means you have a thing for torch-lights and NEPA has dealt with you in your area. If you have Edreez Abdulkareem, that probably explains why you are so afraid of your bad English, you do not comment on any articles here. If you have Onyeka Onwenu, you are probably deep, soulful and attractive.If you bump Asa, you probably are intelligible, but you only shower once a week. And if I find J.Lo, it probably means that you are single and uncompromising. I promise to be honest and write each song as it comes up in the shuffle, no matter how embarrassing it may be.

I would like to get to know a bit more about each of you as well – in addition to your comments, please put your I-pod, MP3 players, Blackberry, I-Phone, mobile phone or laptop music player on shuffle, and list the first 15 songs you see. If you don’t own a music player, please list the first 15 songs you hear on the radio.

Lol, yo that Right Said Fred song was the ish back in the day. It got overplayed. Yeah I m a Nas fan. I could guess you were from the name Esco, lol. I mess with Illmatic, It was written, Stillmatic, Distant Relatives and Untitled. I wasnt exactly blown away by the single Nasty but I m looking forward to his new album.

Yeah i remember that Right Said Fred jam was a hit when it first came out. I am the hugest Nas fan ever, Funny enough, It Was Written is my best Nas album of all time. I prefer it to Illmatic which was critically acclaimed. ‘Nasty’ is an alright song.

My favorite will always be Fela, others include Asa, Nneka, Psquare (party starters), Bracket (heart warmers) and lyrical MI . Nevertheless, I do from time to time like upcoming musicians like Dbang, Wiz kid, Eldee and many others. However, I don’t see myself dancing to their songs five years from now because women, sex and money grows old. Almost every so called new generation hip hop artists screams these words in their lyrics. A meaning less and shallow song cannot always beat the tide.

Crawling by Linkin Park
Hot Boyz by Missy ft Q-Tip, Eve and Nas
Find Your Love Drake
Gravity of Love Enigma
Roll up by Wiz khalifa
Oh Boy by Cam’Ron
Lean Back by Terror Squad
Here without you by 3 Doors Down
I don’t wanna cry by Mariah Carey
Blaze of Glory by Bon Jovi
So Far away by Staind
Love is a battlefield by Pat Benatar
Carribean Blue by Enya
Ateam by Ed Sheeran
September by Daughtry
Nine in the Afternoon Panic at the Disco

Oh my daze. i am already laughing and grinning from ear to ear seeing some of your playlists. I must have the most diverse readers ever. Let me ‘attempt’ to place your personalities, based on ur music lists. I may be wrong, so correct me, but I think I will get more right than wrong because I am good at this.

@ Sir Fariku – I can see some Public Enemy and Ice Cube there. And ‘Mosh’ by Eminem. From that I can say you are a bit of a rules-breaker, revolutionary dude. You do not care what people say about you.

@ Booboo – interesting choice of artistes. Nneka and Asa are uber talented. they do that India Arie and Tracy Chapman sisterhood thing. And M.I is underrated, in my opinion. Send in your playlist so I can attempt to dissect your personality.

@ Me – wow, perhaps the most diverse list here so far. Meshell Ndegeocello & Marcus Miller and Sleepy Brown. From what i can see, you pride yourself on being different from the crowd. U have unusual tastes, and you actually go all out to make sure you have divergent interests from the general trends. You are not afraid to be independent and different. Oh and you have got soul.

@ Ohj – This one is slightly harder to decipher. You have Audio Adrenaline and The Script on there, but then there is also Blue. So that means you have a wide array of interests. You are both a techie and an artsy person. You are probably a very clever person

@ RealLaw – Another very diverse list. Lady Antebellum and Quincy Jones. You are into classics, and values. So you probably have a very nice personality. You are very loved by your friends and family. People depend on you a lot because you are helpful and resourceful.

@ Che – Ah, you have got Chris Brown, Rick Ross, Rihanna and Naeto C. You are a very lively person. You have a great sense of humour, so people like hanging out with you because you are very social. You are trendy and very up on things.

@ Bex – Lol!!! Enya and Bon Jovi? Enigma and Terror Squad. These are artistes on the opposite ends of the spectrum. This must mean that you are a huge music lover. You are also probably a good dancer or the life of the party. You are also a romantic.

@ Chicken and chips – You feel at home here, becos you are actually home. Welcome, and put your feet up! Yes, we do get you.

Let me know what you guys think of my analysis. Please do dissect my own list and guess what my traits are

@ Jus – Chilling – Nah, you are right on time. Ok, let me see – Corinne Bailey Rae, Angie Stone, Erykah Badu, Bob Marley. You are very passionate about empowerment, and you hate to be told what to do. You are also a very passionate and loyal person

Deevgal – wow. You have got songs like Motivation and Big Pimping in there. I really like Maroon 5 and Matchbox 20 as well. From what i can see, you like to have a good time, and a work-life balance is very important to you.

Close, but not quite ‘right on, brother.’ Didn’t really have to guess your traits, cuz you kinda said it all in the article. But I’d say you’re a very creative being, though not the artsy man purse carrying type with extra skinny pants creative, you’re and a great listener, you’re a seeker, and you have a lot to say:). How’s that ?

Good listener? Well one of exes and my teacher in primary 4 would beg to differ. Lol. True, I only wear jeans loose enough to fit my mobile phone and wallet in, and I would never carry a man purse no matter how fashionable it becomes. So true on both counts. Besides what was I wrong about for u? I am supposed to be good at this. lol

Just the part about going out of my way to be different – I don’t, I do me! Per listening, I guess you listen more to lyrics than people:)
I digress, but what’s up with naija men and fashion, I don’t get it? Does creativty hinge on metrosexuality? Abi na London style and am behind times. When I peek at the style/events sites, I’m confused – perhaps one day you’ll give us your take on it.

Lmao ask ur attempt at analysis! U’r somewhat right sha, I love to have a good time, I love to have balance in my life.. I love music… My playlist jumps from beethoven to timberland to wizkid, al jarreau, corrine bailey ray, eminem, bob marley, jillscott!!!
U cud take up this musicanalysis and train urself to get better! L̃̾☺L̃̾

you are quite right about me. i am a very lively person and have to constantly remind myself to tone it down. am also very trendy too. i think i have a good sense of humor, though i can be boring atimes. i would say you are an observant guy and a deep thinker too. you also come across to me as a lover of art and aesthetics. You most def have a great sense of humor and you have a lot of stuff stored up in you waiting to be unleased. so am i right or what………

@ Che – So I was correct. I think your disposition comes across in your comments as well. Awesome! You are also quite right about me. I dont know if I have more to unleash sha. I think my mind is always at work. I need to chill, huh? Nice one Che

Ok let me see – Tevin Campbell + Frank Ocen + Miguel. This shows that you believe in true love and romance and being swept off your feet
Asa + Jaheim – You are very grounded, and believe in your roots. You are also very into family and community.
Kelly Rowland – you hate to have to depend on anyone or ask for favours from people.

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Esco

A young, smart, educated, world savvy, Nigerian professional working and living in Lagos-town,who sees everything in 3D, and blogs about struggles with the 7 evils (greed, extravagance, wrath, envy, gluttony, pride and lust).

My stumping grounds are the beautiful and not so pretty settings of the streets, bars, malls, offices, business areas, villages, political arenas, shanties, communities, markets, cities, traffic ridden roads of Lagos-town metropolis and greater Nigeria

This is the story of a boy, who literally left his bathroom faucet on, and then found out that he had flooded and drowned the whole world.

Words are stronger than bullets - let's change our world through satire and blog literature. Evolution and not revolution, through letters.