Wednesday, January 6, 2016

A letter to those who call me an inspiration

When I think about people who embody the definition of the wordinspiration, the names of Helen
Keller, Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, or others who have overcome substantial
obstacles flash across. I think about those who have made profound
contributions to society, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, or Steve Jobs. I
see the faces of those who have forged through roadblocks and were forced to
defend himself or herself, Rosa Parks, Mahatma Gandhi, or Anne Frank. I
think about countless others who lay their lives on the line daily protecting
our streets, our communities, our countries.

I personally do not feel comfortable being
placed amongst these prestigious ranks. The people I have mentioned have
made a profound impact on millions upon billions of people. They have
redefined industries and caused ripple effects that have lasted decades beyond
their times, they are visionaries. When I think of myself, the word that
comes to the forefront of my mind is "mom".

I am a mom of four beautiful children,
three who are typical, and one who hasCDKL5, a
genetic disorder that will leave her with a lifetime battling seizures and
profound developmental delays. I will make decisions on all of my
children's behalves until they are old enough to weigh in. I will be an
advocate for all of my children no matter their cognitive abilities. I
will defend my children in all situations. I will love each of my
children unconditionally, not because I am an inspiration, but because I am a
mom.

I am a mom who makes mistakes daily, but
who tries her best each day. I may have to make decisions that you will
never have to in your lifetime, but that does not make me any more of an
inspiration than you. I am sure you are faced with decisions that I am
not. Yes, I am a mom who is faced with tough challenges, but I am not
alone, there are others on parallel journeys, others on journeys more difficult
than mine. I am not special. I am a mom who will go to the ends of
the earth, just like you, because that is what a mom does.

While I appreciate your kind sentiment and
am flattered that you hold me to such high esteem, I would like to ask,
"Why am I considered to be inspirational?" Is it because I have
to watch my child endure minutes of daily seizures? Is it because I have
notpublicly cracked
under the insurmountable pressures of raising a child with special needs? Is it because I do not place blame for the
situation I am faced with, G-d included?

While your words of encouragement, praise,
and support offer me much needed support during my darker days. I would
like you to know that I am no-more an inspiration than YOU, the mom of one or
multiple children; YOU, the mom of a typical child, YOU the mom of a special
needs child; YOU, the mom of a child who is no longer physically present.
It may appear that I am an inspiration, but I assure you, I am not doing
anything differently than YOU would do if you found yourself in my shoes.