As the popularity of gravel racing increases, so too does the number of companies introducing gravel road bikes or, as is the case with Specialized, creating gravel versions of an existing cyclocross bike. The latest gravel-centric bike from Specialized is the US$7,000 CruX Expert EVO Di2 (UK pricing and availability TBA.)

That's right, for only $7,000, the company that loves to sue the fuck out of people for no reason has managed to deliver a bicycle that can be ridden on gravel surfaces, which were heretofore totally un-navigable by bicycle.

So what makes this cyclocross bike not a cyclocross bike but a gravel-specific bike? Well, it has one more set of water bottle bosses than a cyclocross bike (or it has three more if your cyclocross bike is so cool that it doesn't have any):

The new CruX Expert EVO Di2 builds on the general concept of a gravel racer through the addition of a third set of water bottle bosses underneath the downtube and a build kit focused on longer rides over roads less traveled.

Oh, and it also has a gravel-specific build kit, which means basically this thing:

In other words, we've reached a point in the over-refinement of the bicycle at which the only discernible difference between them is the amount of tiny holes they have in their frames--so basically, choosing a bicycle is now like sexing a kitten.

By the way, that little plastic gas canister hutch is called the "SWAT," so expect Specialized to start suing law enforcement agencies all over the country:

As well as various manufacturers of analog household pest control devices:

(The makers of this S-Works Roubaix Fly Swatter are in big, big trouble.)

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, STUDY the item, THINK, and then CLICK on your answer. (But don't forget to TURN OFF THE CAPS LOCK.) If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see a cyclist hitting a badger.

Snob:Watched a YouTube of a Rutgers prof talking about the polar vortex dropping into our neighborhoods and how it's going to continue to happen due to the warming of the arctic waters. Time for enclosed snow bikes with heaters and SiriusXM and cup holders.

Wow. $62 dollars for a pair of socks. Do they cum with a Swiss-made pocket pussy that you can secret away in your Kuku Penthouse. Because I usually like to get a little something in return if I am going to spend that kind of money on something stupid.

I nearly hit a mama raccoon yesterday when I was rubber necking at her little baby crossing the road in front of me. I got up close and personal with a coyote, too. Big day for critters yesterday, but that's why I ride at stoooopid o'clock. Rather encounter critters than cars...

Yeah, I finished 30 minutes ahead of Dan Hughes in the Dirty Kanza last year on my Surly Cross-Check. Big deal? Yes it was. Of course I only road the 110 mile half-pint, and he road the full 203 miles.

While stopped in traffic this morning my vehicle thermometer read 9 degrees Merican. I tapped on it. And then looked left to see a cyclist go by me wearing shorts and nothing on his head. Not even a panty hose. I thought, "I am just a pussy." But no, I came to my senses. That guy was batshit.

...Mr. Raney, I walked out of the house today, and not a min later, icicles starting forming on my beard (i don't own a car that tells me the exterior temps), i look up, and there's a guy on a road bike without gloves, with loafers and no socks, and nothing on his head, not even a thong. i thought i was a wuss, but no, he was just batshit.

...Ms. Queen, thank you.

...Ms. Babbs, so buggy that i podioed. hey, btw, do you always wear a helment when you are sending a biscuit?

Walked out of my house today and right after feeling my own exhaled breath form ice on my mustache, I saw a cyclist in a tri-dork speedo and crop-top. He also had no socks and had a personal size A/C unit strapped to his back with the output blasting cold air at his bare face.

I thought to myself how wimpy I am, but then decided that rider was cray-cray.

That's got to be what was causing all the problems on Blogger (and Gmail too): sexting kittens on Youtoob - could it get any more squeee?---I went out on my bike yesterday, with shorts and a short-sleeved shirt. But it was 65 degrees out here in sunny Cali, so not at all crazy.

Oops! I think that what I really need to add to the stable of n+1 bikes is an ADJENTURE bike. nosrsly, sometimes I want to ride my bike to a bar three towns away, but it might involve fording a stream, but most of it will be on roads, but not all gravel roads. I need the Raleigh Tampaxland2.

Mother Earth she was-a-thawin' and there was an unmanageable layer of slime on the trail. So we hit the gravel path ON REGULAR MTB's AND IT WAS A RISKY MOVE BUT WE SOMEHOW SURVIVED AND ACTUALLY HAD FUN. Day 48, Now we must prepare for another Polar Blast.......I have still yet to unhinge the "trainer".....

Sponsored Linkway:

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!