Rachel Dolezal, the Igbos of Nigeria have some questions

Rachel Dolezal has become a world class example of when keeping it real goes wrong… severely wrong. From cornrows, to making false allegations about being discriminated on the basis of race (the irony), it’s like she seems to get a kick out of pissing off the people that she wants to be/ help so badly. Has anyone taken the time to do a mental assessment on her?

Between Rachel and that Cassh me ousside chick, I think I’m just about ready to delete all of my social media accounts.

But just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, Rachel decided to change her name to Nkechi Amare Diallo. Nkechi is an Igbo name meaning “Gift of God”, and Diallo is a Fulani name meaning “bold”. As for Amare, a Latin name for “beloved”, I guess it was just the icing on the cake for a name that would be black af.

Nkechi Amare Diallo.

Let’s pause and take this foolery in for a brief moment.

Now I’ve tried to avoid focusing any kind of energy on this Rachel character, but this was just too much for me to handle. I mean, no one would have a problem if she fought for equality in a way that made sense (as in by not making it about herself). But going as far as to live out every possible black stereotype that you can and calling yourself a Civil Rights leader, we’re not here for it at all. This is like a deranged version of the White Savior complex. I cannnoooootttt!

One thing I can tell you for sure is that Nigerians are pretty cool about Oyinbos (white people) embracing their culture and all, but there are definitely levels to that shit when you wake up and decide to adopt a name that wasn’t given to you by a Nigerian. So Miss Rachel, here are the questions that we have before we even attempt to consider calling you Nkechi.

1. Who sent you to us?

Nigeria is already over populated so who is the bastard that suggested that you should join us?

2. How do you pronounce Nkechi?

If we hear you say “Nuuh-kehchi” or “EN-kehchi”, we’re going to find you and slap the spray tan off of your face. In fact, we’re slapping the spray tan off your face for trying this in the first place.

3. Do you know how to cook Jollof rice, Egusi soup, Okra soup or Oha soup?

This a real ting fam. You can’t claim West Africa if your learning how to make any kind of African food by James Oliver.

Courtesy of BBC news

Courtesy of BBC news

5. *Trick question* If you hear ‘Igbo Kwenu’ can YOU respond?

If you get this wrong just change your documents and exit immediately! (Funny though, I bet most Nigerians don’t even know the answer to this question.)

This ain’t a game Rachel. Get your life before we all square up on dat ass!