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Can You Make Your Life Into a Movie?

I’m living in the city of movies these days. I like movies and I’m often consumed with where ideas come from. So, I thought to myself – could you make small movies out of everyday life events? I think you can. In order to make my case, I’ve decided to use the “movie log-line” as a device. Log-lines are the simple descriptions you see for movies in your tv guide or on screen when you’re flipping through the channels. A good one sells the movie immediately. I’ve decided to put my theory to the test by making up some movie log-lines from events that have happened in or around my own life. What about you? Can you turn the everyday of your life into a movie? If so, what would it be? And which (if any) of my mini-movies would you like to see? Am I missing one? As always, I’d love to know what you think. Here we go…

Movies Ideas From In and Around My Life:

The Juicing Defense
A quiet veterinarian goes on an all juice diet to cure herself of the few extra pounds she put on during her budding romance. Her lover mutters one night, “Don’t lose that ass, you’re already too skinny.” The veterinarian bludgeons her lover to death with an under ripe pineapple and goes on trial for her crime in… “The Juicing Defense.”

The murder weapon – masked to protect its innocence.

Chick-A-Feck
A woman experiencing a re-birth as a lesbian, after her gay husband leaves her and the kids for their marriage counsellor, gets involved in an anti-gay scandal drummed up by her boss at the local Chick-A-Fry shop. (Chick-A-Feck is the nickname her lesbian lover calls her place of employ.) Eventually, the woman handcuffs herself to the Chick-A-Fry Stick Man (a full-sized mascot made completely out of chicken fingers) in order to make a stand for gay rights.

Starring Scarlett and Penelope because, honestly, who doesn’t want to see that again?

What’s That?
A dog, who sleeps all day, gets awoken by neighbors embarking on a construction project next door. The dog whimpers and charges the door. When no one enters, the dog settles back to sleep. This goes on until…a larger, key-rattling, noise is heard inside the lock. The dog goes bonkers as her owners enter! Dog celebrates by dragging her toy back and forth across the length of the apartment.

In a departure, Macaulay stars as a methed-out dog walker.

Shut Up, So I Can Pass
An elderly woman takes her charming husband into the local DMV office to renew her license. The elderly husband chats everyone up. Slowly the other patrons realize something is very wrong with the man. The wife confesses he has Alzheimer’s. She attempts to take the exam while the man natters on. She finally says, “Shhh, shut the hell up, I’m taking an exam!” DMV officials come over to attend to the ruckus. The man says, “Call 911, I’m out of here.” They do. The man is taken away to a shelter where he is eventually adopted out by a woman who is deaf. They live happily ever after.

Don’t Worry, I Have a Blog
A woman is obsessed with blogging while her husband struggles to pay the bills. Her husband says, “Honey, I need you to get a job.” The woman says, “But, I have a job. I blog.” There is a long pause. Papers randomly blow through the apartment. A whistling wind is heard through the window. The woman is taken away to a facility and institutionalized for a delusion disorder.

Starring these two…because finally a reasonable New York city department was depicted in a film.

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I could make a movie about a woman who lost her sanity in a sea of testosterone, where she was endlessly subjected to jokes about penises and anuses and poop. Yes, such is the life with a husband and two sons, two of the three who think it’s funny to pick me up and carry me across the room. Luckily the youngest is not yet big enough. Will you watch it?

And of course, I will watch any movies of yours. Especially if it comes with Seldane samples.

ohdeargod. you have your hands full. and of course i would watch it. you know the little one is secretly working out so he can do the same thing too… you need to adopt a female chihuahua or something, a female lizard, anything…to even out the ratio a bit. loool. xo, sm

A woman (me) spends her entire life searching for the answer to the question of why she is a second class citizen in a first class world. Why she is smarter, emotionally stronger, more capable and yet they rule the world. At the end of her life a handsome stranger leans over her bed and whispers, “testosterone poisoning.”

Pan in as tears roll down her smooth cheeks she gasps her last breath, the light at the end of the tunnel brightens and Shejesus reaches out her hand welcoming her to heaven.

you used shejesus! i love it. i’ve shortened that to she-sus, but it works just the same. ohhh, i’ve seen this film, in my own life as well. the only thing that i can say is that an innie (as opposed to a dangler) will be much more efficient when the end of times happens. I mean, is there a better place to hide your emergency preparedness kit? i think not. loooooool. i hear you, val. stay strong. you’re one of the good ones. much love, sm

I would definitely watch the Juicing Defense 🙂 And I think my cat could be a co-star in “What’s That?” I have never seen a creature more freaked out by the neighbors getting a new roof. He may still be having flashbacks.

my story for the day would be…revenge of subway, story of a girl who spent all her life rejoicing subway while criticizing the world of calories.one day her sub sandwich turns against her, gets cold and hard, breaks her retainers. Now the girl is torn apart whether to got to the cinema she was suppose to go or rush to a dentist. what will she do? will she miss her movie? is she no more a subway girl? 😛 true story

Resident Sniffles
A family contracts the plague which turns them into pill popping zombies. Only one little boy somehow manages to escape the dreaded lurgies. Will he save mankind by hunting down and slaying the zombies that were once his family members or will he succumb to the mutant virus and turn into a zombie too?

A Master of None
Our heroine embarks on a journey to earn her Master’s degree. She will have to accomplish more feats than Hercules during her adventures. From battling the behemoth, Administrative Procedures, made entirely out of red tape to freeing herself of the mantle of mommy and hiding from The Twins for an hour or two each day. Will she over come these challenges and become a Master of the Universe or be doomed to a low paying job for eternity?