This edition of Pajiba Love is running a bit late due to server difficulities. Blame Reddit.

God only knows how much I try to avoid the subject of politics in every facet of internet discussion, and I realize that Ann Coulter is the original internet (and cable news network) troll, so paying attention to the new Twitter spat between Meghan McCain and Ann seems like a fruitless endeavor. Apparently, Ann "jokingly suggested" that Meghan should be shot, and Meghan is firing back. Meghan should have refused to engage, and I should refuse to even look at this mess, but it's still pounding away over there. (Us Weekly)

Harrison Ford begrudgingly answers questions about the new Star Wars mess, and his evasive manner (as well as his facial expression) would lead one to believe that he's very upset about not being included in the movie (unlike Carrie Fisher). Doesn't he realize what a huge bullet he's dodged here? He must not remember a little adventure called Indiana Jones and the Pointless, Embarrassing Sequel. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

If you are having a terrible day, this is sure to brighten at least a few moments. Robert Downey Jr. wore lederhosen to the German premiere of Iron Man 3. That completely makes up for Gwyneth Paltrow's boring ensemble, and RDJ is such a lovable dandy that he can pull this look off without exuding a slightly obnoxious vibe like, say, Gerard Butler would have done. (Lainey Gossip)

Earlier this week, critics lambasted Jay-Z and Beyonce for vacationing in Cuba. Now Jay has taken to his lifestyle website and posted a rap song that he whipped out in response to his detractors. Lyrics include transforming "Havana to Atlanta," inviting President Barack Obama to "chill with me on the beach," and insisting, "I still own the building, I'm still keeping my seat. Y'all buy that bullshit, you'd better keep y'all receipt." (Life & Times)

It comes as no surprise that China has shut down Django Unchained on the very morning that it began showing in theaters. Quentin Tarantino even went the trouble to oversee special edits of the film just so his Chinese fans could somewhat enjoy this latest cinematic joyride, but alas, all copies of the film have been pulled while theaters are all citing "technical difficulties." Riiight. (Film Drunk)

Ugh. As most of you are aware, Kim Kardashian is pregnant with Kanye West's lovechild, and Kim has been parading around various metropolitan areas each and every day while squeezing into tight clothing (that looks terribly uncomfortable) all for the sake of being seen. Naturally, the media is all over Kim for appearing "fat," but it's difficult to be sympathetic to a woman whose built an empire upon a leaked sex tape and a fake marriage -- let alone the obvious Weight Watchers contract waiting in the wings. At the moment, however, Gloria Steinem has declared that feminists should be outraged at the public treatment of Kim K. ... and I just don't know. (Celebitchy)

Somehow, I can't compose list of links lately without Lindsay Lohan rising up like the scoby in a vat of kombucha tea, so let's not fight it. Linds miraculously showed up as scheduled for the premiere of Scary Movie 5, and she's preening next to Charlie Sheen as if they've both just arrived. In hell. (IDLYITW)

This sounds like a perfect exercise in Hollywood redundancy and the perfect way to ruin a good thing. The popular parental bedtime book, Go the Fuck to Sleep, is now being adapted as a feature film. Charlize Theron supposedly loves this book, but I doubt she'd sign on although you know that Samuel L. Jackson will do it in a heartbeat. (Vulture)

Some of you might disown me for admitting that I don't watch "Parks & Recreation" because I am largely television illiterate and can't seem to make it the television for anything that airs before 9pm CST. Still, almost anyone can appreciate the value of Amy Poehler and this massive supply of drunk Leslie Knope gifs. (Warming Glow)

Portia de Rossi remains the only reason that I'm going to check out the "Arrested Development" reunion when it hits Netflix. She covers the May issue of Out magazine to talk about all sorts of stuff, including why she and Ellen DeGeneres decided to never have children. Thank goodness for people who realize they don't need to procreate to be fulfilled in life. (Out Magazine)

This list of the eight scariest single frames from movies hits a lot of marks, and it's fairly obvious that Mischa Barton's career highlight was her performance as the creepy, staring girl in The Sixth Sense. Sadly, I remain terrified of this moment in The Blair Witch Project to this very day. (Unreality)

In a not-so-scientific study, the average retirement age of a Victoria's Secret angel has been determined as 28 years. Does it really matter though, and do dudes even truly enjoy lingerie, or is it just a major advertising ruse that has lasted for decades? Every man I've ever "known" has been perfectly content without messing around with cheap, tacky bras that fall apart after several washes. (Jezebel)

Kevin Bacon has just given us another reason to love Kevin Bacon by pointing out the misogyny of his hit show, "The Following." Of course, one wonders whether Kevin Bacon realized the inherent misogyny involved with a crime drama that follows a serial killer who plucks his victims' eyes out and only preys upon women. Conundrum. (Celebitchy)

I know this sort of video has probably been done before, but the quad split-screen effect really hits home while illustrating the inescapable tropes of romantic comedies. Yes, it truly breaks my heart to see Bridget Jones's Diary included here, I have to admit that the glossy, well-lit shoe fits. (The High Definite)

Finally, this last video is a couple of weeks old, but it's still worth a good gander from fans of "Justified." Introducing Walton Goggins on Timothy Olyphant on Walton Goggins. Don't worry, there are no spoilers from the past season here -- unless you count the fake ones. (Ghost of a Flea)

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at celebitchy.com.

I'm usually ragey about the 'fat' comments thrown around at pregnant women, but Kim Kardashian? No fucking sympathy, for anything, ever. You and I know that that waste of a human being is wearing everything too tight so that she'll look overstuffed into her clothes, when she's just the size she's always been--and that she's used to great advantage when selling shit. So that yes, she'll be in the news just as much as always, and then when it's over she'll be in the news some more when she 'miraculously' loses 'all the weight'. She's one walking pile of bullshit and god, I hate her.

Viking

I consider myself a feminist and hate the patriarchy that makes Kim Kardashian famous which she does by exploiting patriarchal ideals for her own monetary and egotistical gain. It is difficult to defend her because of the way she makes her living. However, fat-shaming isn't cool in general, her being pregnant just makes it less cool, and it just brings her more attention which encourages her to keep doing what she does. All of this is bad.

AudioSuede

"Portia de Rossi remains the only reason that I’m going to check out the “Arrested Development” reunion when it hits Netflix."

Yeah, brilliant writing, experimental comedy, a cast of beloved and ever-hilarious characters, some of the most charming actors in television, and nearly a decade of eager anticipation aren't strong enough draws to get me to watch a show either. Thank god for Portia de Rossi, or I'd never watch anything, and I'd just sit in the darkness and wait for God to crush me like an ant underfoot.

I try hard to avoid absolutism in all things, but it may be time for a renewed push in the Pajiba-verse to banish a few fame-whores from this land - e.g., Kardashian, Lohan. As tempting as it is to grab a morsel of schadenfreude, we always pay a bigger existential price than we receive in mordant chuckles. In this sort of endeavor, we must resist our desire to be perceived as fair, and be very precise; name names and draw lines in the sand. It would seem ideally suited to a Seriously Random List (as they are never random, are they?).

If you wanted to be really creative, you could create a market around this a raise a bit of coin for the overlords. Mentions are met with token fines, which increase with repeat offenses. Prizes of shame can be occasionally given to the least disciplined.

,

Jesus Fucking Christ, I come here to get away from human shitstains like the Kardashians. I love you, Bedhead, I really really do, I'd face you till you squealed, but for KK go fuck yourself. Have I made myself clear?

Jezzer

If Kim Kardashian hasn't felt shame for anything she's done up to this point, a couple of fat jokes won't even make a dent in her bubble.

Maguita NYC

Or her ass.

TrickyHD

Do yourself a favor and watch the Timothy Olyphant / Walton Goggins video, they are truly wonderful in their mutual admiration, and at the 17 minute mark, just feel the love.

John W

You don't watch Parks & Recreation! This calls for.......a shunning!

Joe

As a man, yes, men enjoy lingerie on women. And maybe on themselves - there's no judgements here. This is a safe place.

Look, I'm not expert, but the photoshopping on that InTouch cover....The necklace looks extremely photoshopped over the humongous tatas, and there is a crazy round tan line. Would KK seriously be that incompetent at faux tanning?

BWeaves

Whoo-hoo! The Quidditch World Cup is tomorrow in my hometown of Kissimmee, Florida.

F'mal DeHyde

Why hasn't KK gained any weight in her face? It's one of the first places that shows weight gain on me. Bitch.

Fat-shaming a pregnant woman is beyond the pale, even if that woman is a fame whore. Damn you, tabloid industry, do NOT make me defend Kim fucking Kardashian. On the other hand, Kim darling, perhaps you should invest in some actual maternity wear. It's not like you lack the cash to do that up fashionably.

Second. Also I feel that all this emphasis on how many pancakes she's eating or "if those tight white skirts are appropriate" (is this really something that warrants discussion?) seems to overwhelm the issue that she's growing a human being who, through no fault of his/her own is going to be saddled with all this ridiculousness the minute he/she pops into the world. I think about this little dude and it makes me sad.

kirbyjay

Personally, I think she's carrying that future meal ticket in her ass, and I think she's having twins.

manting

Future Meal Ticket?! Less than ten years ago she was nothing. Now she is worth 40 million and she does nothing. She has no discernable talent beyond being sexy and I see sexy women everyday that arent worth 40 million. She is completley indefensible.

Kristen Mc

I bet she isn't even really pregnant. It's some elaborate publicity stunt designed to get you to defend Kim fucking Kardashian.

e jerry powell

The only thing that scares me about that bit of BWP is the fact that it took somebody as long as it did to kill the fuck out of Heather and her screaming. Such an annoying noise she was making with her voice.

Tinkerville

Love, love, love the best stills from horror movies. The closet from The Ring haunts me to this day. I would've included the moment in The Descent when the creature shows up in the night vision camera for the first time. Yeesh.

Melissa D

I remember telling my hairdresser that my friend and I were going to watch The Ring that night. She told me do yourself a favour and turn it off at the happy ending. She was right.

Also, I remember watching Exorcist III when I was a kid at sleepovers (since I wasn't allowed to watch horror movies at home, with good reason). And that scene they picked IS terrifying. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to hate Exorcist III or not, but it scared the ever-living beejebus out of me. As for Paranormal Activity, I still haven't worked up the courage for it yet.

One final horror movie story: My best friend and I went to see Blair Witch when it was just released (before the hype started). We had no idea what to expect, and we were scared silent (a fairly big feat for the two of us). For about a year afterwards, every so often when she left a room, her husband would go and stand in the corner until she got back. Good times.

gutpunchprod

NEVER hate The Exorcist III ! It's awesome. The sustained soundtrack of tension throug it is amazing. Some day it will get the recognition it is ude!

Tinkerville

The Ring was the first truly pants-wetting movie watching experience of my young life. My parents were really strict about not letting us watch horror films (because they were the Devil's movies, you see..) but they had no idea what The Ring was when I asked if I could rent it for a sleepover, so they said yes. I'm pretty sure the "scariest" movie I had seen up to that point was The Mummy.

So, completely unaccustomed to any real horror movies of any kind I went over to my best friend's place and we settled down, with just the two of us in the house, and watched it. My god. It scared the ever living piss out of me. But the worst part was her family's fucking African Grey Parrot. It was a mimicker in every sense of the word and would repeat back phrases that it heard for hours on end. What was it's favorite phrase from the movie? You guessed it! "Seven days." So, while I was practically shitting myself with terror and trying to fall asleep, the parrot would chirp "Seven days! Seven days!" every now and then and take another ten years off my life. My best friend thought it was hilarious. I, on the other hand, was not amused. God I love that movie.

Melissa D

I wasn't allowed to watch horror movies because, inevitably, I would end up sleeping in my parent's bed for a month afterwards. I am older than you, you little fetus, and I STILL have to sleep with the lights on after some movies (Exorcism of Emily Rose, I am Legend, etc). Ah, I'm such a grown up!

Fabius_Maximus

As someone who has never watched 'Exorcist III' (and probably never will), what the hell is that thing?

Tinkerville

That, my good fellow, is (spoilers ahoy) a crazed mental patient possessed by the spirit of an executed serial killer that is placed in different bodies because there's this demon who was possessing a girl in a previous Exorcist movie, and he was pissed that he was forced out of her so now he's getting his revenge by summoning the spirit of said serial killer to kill off the people connected to the original exorcism. YOU'RE WELCOME.

manting

I found the bone shears in that movie particularly creepy. Love Brad Douriff as the precursor to Hannibal Lector. Excellent summation by the way

Fabius_Maximus

Why, thank you.

I think I've seen that movie. Weren't John Goodman and Denzel Washington in it?

Bedewcrock

Wait, so the demon is possessing the spirit of a dead serial killer who then together are possessing different bodies in the mental institution? But the demon's in charge of multiple spirits and bodies? Did anyone go to Catholic school here??!

I'm so damn sick of Kim Kardashain. She doesn't WANT us to stop talking about her, she just wants us to only say how HOT she is. And at the moment, she's far from that. I would love to go a day or two without seeing pictures of KK on the internet. I guess for that I would have to not get on the internet for an entire day.

Eva

I don't like this quote in the article about Portia de Rossi: "as far as she or any of the show’s ardent fans knew, that midlife crisis was her swan song.".... Um, Hello Better Off Ted!? She was my favorite part of that show too. She's such a great comedic actress and I wish she worked more in general.

April

Haha I'm actually watching Better Off Ted right now. Oddly I keep watching the magician episode over and over.

foolsage

After all this, I had to start re-watching the series.

Eva

Haha, yeah I just started it again this morning too.

Uriah_Creep

Great, guys, thanks for getting me all bummed out again about Better Off Ted not lasting longer. Veronica was LITERALLY my favorite sitcom character ever.

foolsage

Well, look at it this way: there are 26 episodes to enjoy. That's a lot more than we got out of Firefly.

Uriah_Creep

So you're one of those "glass half-full" people, are you? I never trusted you guys. To me, this is a "glass is damn near empty" situation. I need more of both shows.

Ted: And congratulations to you for falling through the ceiling in a metal tube and winning that game. That's gotta feel good.Veronica: You're gonna have to speak up. I'm temporarily deaf in one ear. As you may know, I fell through the ceiling in a metal tube. But at least I won that game, and that feels good.

foolsage

Linda: So my boyfriend wants us to move in together.Veronica: Why would he wants us to move in together?Linda: No, I mean he wants me to move in with him.Veronica: Then where am I supposed to live?Linda: You're sabotaging this conversation, aren't you?Veronica: Just 'til we get to the meeting.

foolsage

"God, you people are paranoid. No wonder the company has to secretly manipulate you." - Veronica Palmer

foolsage

Veronica: We've having a problem with some of those people who live in the cubicles.Ted: Look, they don't live in the... You know what? I'm not going to explain this to you again.

foolsage

"Legal's position's is, we don't know if hard work killed Jenkins. Legal thinks he may have had high cholesterol. They're also floating the idea that his being dead may have been a pre-existing condition, and that he may not have been alive when we hired him. Apparently he was pretty quiet in his job interview." - Veronica Palmer

foolsage

"Sorry, Ted. The company feels that if we ease up because someone dies, it will only encourage other people to die." - Veronica Palmer

"Yes, Ted, I know. I shouldn't hit people on the staff. I've been hearing that since grade school."

foolsage

"So this is guilt, huh? In the past, I've always just counteracted this feeling with other emotions, like sugar or drunk." - Veronica Palmer

Eva

"Well, you are eager and desperate for my approval. And that's two of the three qualities I look for in a partner." Veronica

foolsage

"Because I'm good at everything I do. I'm not bragging, because bragging is the one thing I'm not good at. Although, if I wanted to be, I'd be excellent at that, too. As I just proved." - Veronica Palmer

I miss that show.

Kaitlyn David

til I saw the draft four $6432, I accept that...my... brothers friend was realey erning money in their spare time from there computar.. there moms best friend had bean doing this 4 only about 16 months and recently cleared the depts on there apartment and got a brand new Fiat Panda. read more at, Big31.com

Shame on you for your narrow views on what is acceptable and what is not! Does it matter the SPAM's promotional origins? Does it matter that its IP address was raised on the "wrong" side of the blogospheres? And what if it learnt phishing early on while you were having it easy trending the aisles of high-end exclusive domains? And so it spends time with junk, so what? The color or shape of its font does not change your life one bit, and in no way endangers the sanctity of your human-ass marriages.

You and your whitelists and blacklists should hide in shame for your Spamigotry. It is 2013, acceptance of diversity should be a given.

*This in no way gives Pajiba rights to target my email address with spams.

*I* am your brother's friend, and I do not earn my money in my spare time from my computer, nor for that matter my computar, whatever the hells that is. I've never owned a Fiat.

Please, for the love of God, get back on your meds, Kaitlyn. Don't make us secure another 5150 order on your crazy semi-literate ass. And stop huffing the WD-40 in your brother's garage.

Slash

Yes! She was awesome in BOT.

Tracer Bullet

Now . . . SMASH HIM WITH A PHONE.

katy

Let me be the first to state the obvious - Those are the biggest pregnancy boobs I have ever seen. Oh man. She is going to be a milk machine. Hopefully she'll be all sanctimonious about it too, so as not to disappoint.

Maguita NYC

I believe Jessica Simpson beats her easy

katy

I took this into consideration, and I don't think so. It's really impressive.

katy

Ok, looking again. Comparing KK now and JS at her most pregnant is like comparing apples and oranges (see what I did there?). Obviously it is very important that we check this again in a few months.

$27019454

As a callipygian woman, I am astonished by the zipper down her boo-tox.

Bedewcrock

I had to look up "callipygian". Thank you for your service today.

Devin McMusters

That baby's gonna drown!

DeltaJuliet

Or be smothered.

manting

What I hate about Kim K is her total media saturation. I cant go to huff Post (which has really dumbed down their content) my home page, or even the store for smokes with out seeing her image and a headline. Someone needs to create a Kardashian filter for the internet, I would illegally download it for free,

BWeaves

RDJ's lederhosen has a crotch necklace. Cannot stop staring at it.

lowercase_ryan

The Following is so so so so so bad. But Annie Parisse is way pretty.

Kristen Mc

I'm on the side of being ok with the Kim K bashing, because dayummm, I didn't know her ass was pregnant. Heeeeyy-oooh!

ERM

If the fact that Pajiba is currently linked to on the front page of reddit means that this place is going to be overcome with that kind of jackass, then I will be very sad.

lowercase_ryan

What jackass?

ERM

Are you asking what I mean, or are you pointing out that my grammar was odd since I used jackass in the singular?

lowercase_ryan

No, I was asking what you were referring to.

ERM

Just my opinion on the average redditor (not all of course b/c it is a large site). They tend to be privileged white guys who are casually racist/sexist/ignorant because they think it is clever and hilarious, and they generally act like teenaged idiots regardless of their actual age.

Maguita NYC

Don't worry, we'd release the Jezzer on their asses and have TK give unrelenting chase.

Sara_Tonin00

I just want to clarify: when Bacon, a many year veteran of the entertainment industry criticizes, his show, he is loved; when Angus whats-his-face, a teenager who began as a child actor in one sitcom criticizes his terrible show, he is lambasted as an ungrateful idiot? (even though Bacon's outrage is only from an anonymous source?)

lowercase_ryan

How far along is Kim? She looks like no pregnant woman I've known, not that I've known many, but I've known a few.