Because First Take hasn't already eaten away at our souls enough as it is, ESPN is planning to expand the show to six days a week. God help us. Occasional debater Rob Parker announced today on his Facebook page that he's taking the lead role in a new Saturday edition of First Take starting December 8th with host Cari Champion and a random panel of debaters. At least there will be no Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith. For now.

The English language is incapable of describing the abject horror and disbelief of the possibility of more First Take in our lives. You know when people threaten to move to Canada if their guy doesn't win the presidential election but they never mean it? I'm thinking that should be a real possibility at the moment. I'm looking up places to live near Banff National Park. I hear it's beautiful up there this time of year.

ESPN is basically rewarding Rob Parker with his own debate show for his antics that would be condemned at 95% of the other media companies in existence around the world. Hoorah for journalism, woo.