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Invited her over to the flat before we headed out, but she suggested just meeting outside the apartment block. Fair enough, I wasn't going to beg her to come up.

Beautiful day in Belfast today; we ended up spending over 3 hours walking a loop of the most picturesque parts of the city along the water's edge, beautiful weather ect... Was kind of like the best first date ever, minus the lack of sex (which I actually don't mind). Conversation flowed really easily as we have a ton in common, far more than I'd actually thought as I'd never spent more than say 10 minutes with her before. Ran into a mate of mine at one point which was nice as proof that....ya know....I actually have mates.

She casually mentioned, in a not terribly enthusiastic tone, about being 'with' someone toward the end of the meeting, and mentioned something regarding that. I just ignored it and kept talking about what we'd been talking about. As we approached my flat at the end she was saying that she had to go back to her place for dinner blah blah. I invited her up anyway and she declined. I know I'll get mocked for this, but I didn't kiss her, based on the reception to touch earlier in the meeting and the general vibe. I told her I'd had a good time and gave her what was hopefully a non-beta casual hug, i.e. a hand around her waist/lower back, pulling her in ect. No hoverhand. As I said, I know people say I should have gone for the kiss but it really didn't seem the vibe for that.

I actually feel great now. She is exactly the kind of person I'd like to date; she's exactly the kind of person I'd like as a long term relationship. But here's the thing; I won't be contacting her again. She seems effectively unavailable. And I think there's a good chance she doesn't fancy me, even though we had a great time. And this is the good thing that I've learned about myself compared to say 5 years ago; I've become red-pilled enough that I won't be falling into a state of Limerence and pining after her. I seem to have lost the 'oneitis' gene, which is a massive thing for me. What I certainly won't be doing is being the brainy beta that she has interesting conversations with before and after she's being screwed by the big alpha rugby player boyfriend (they are the embodiment of Joe Jackson's "pretty woman walking with gorillas down my street" lyric). I'm making myself scarce again, getting on with life, and if she enjoyed the time with me enough that she wants more it'll be as a dating relationship. Maybe she'll be single again in a few months and we can resume things then, who knows. I can't choose whether she's attracted to me or not, but I can choose not to invest time as a frustrating 'friendzone' type relationship that just ends up breeding contempt both for myself and her.

Here's the odd thing that I'd never have guessed before this - the most prevailing feeling after this is a desire to start dating other women, as opposed to chasing after this one. Like several at once if need be. I think it's restored my mojo a bit after years of not going anywhere near a woman. This has been a good thing for me. And my flat's tidy.

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I've become red-pilled enough that I won't be falling into a state of Limerence and pining after her. I seem to have lost the 'oneitis' gene, which is a massive thing for me.

Think fast Mr Moto.

'Oneitis' can strike at any time.

Beware the Thunderbolt.

Your morning sounds very much like a very nice time spent with an aunt, sister, or work colleague that you don't fancy (regardless of whether they are interested in you that way).

A more telling outcome will be how you will react when you feel strongly attracted to the walking companion on a route similar to this.

The fact this woman wasn't ready to enter the dragon's lair by popping into your flat right now isn't a negative. Further moves on her part towards you over the next days and weeks will be more informative.

It doesn't sound as though she makes your blood rush to your lad but either way, could be fun for practice.

Invited her over to the flat before we headed out, but she suggested just meeting outside the apartment block. Fair enough, I wasn't going to beg her to come up.

Beautiful day in Belfast today; we ended up spending over 3 hours walking a loop of the most picturesque parts of the city along the water's edge, beautiful weather ect... Was kind of like the best first date ever, minus the lack of sex (which I actually don't mind). Conversation flowed really easily as we have a ton in common, far more than I'd actually thought as I'd never spent more than say 10 minutes with her before. Ran into a mate of mine at one point which was nice as proof that....ya know....I actually have mates.

She casually mentioned, in a not terribly enthusiastic tone, about being 'with' someone toward the end of the meeting, and mentioned something regarding that. I just ignored it and kept talking about what we'd been talking about. As we approached my flat at the end she was saying that she had to go back to her place for dinner blah blah. I invited her up anyway and she declined. I know I'll get mocked for this, but I didn't kiss her, based on the reception to touch earlier in the meeting and the general vibe. I told her I'd had a good time and gave her what was hopefully a non-beta casual hug, i.e. a hand around her waist/lower back, pulling her in ect. No hoverhand. As I said, I know people say I should have gone for the kiss but I didn't seem the vibe for that.

I actually feel great now. She is exactly the kind of person I'd like to date; she's exactly the kind of person I'd like as a long term relationship. But here's the thing; I won't be contacting her again. She seems effectively unavailable. And I think there's a good chance she doesn't fancy me, even though we had a great time. And this is the good thing that I've learned about myself compared to say 5 years ago; I've become red-pilled enough that I won't be falling into a state of Limerence and pining after her. I seem to have lost the 'oneitis' gene, which is a massive thing for me. What I certainly won't be doing is being the brainy beta that she has interesting conversations with before and after she's being screwed by the big alpha rugby player boyfriend. I'm making myself scarce again, getting on with life, and if she enjoyed the time with me enough that she wants more it'll be as a dating relationship. Maybe she'll be single again in a few months and we can resume things then, who knows. I can't choose whether she's attracted to me or not, but I can choose not to invest time as a frustrating 'friendzone' type relationship that just ends up breeding contempt both for myself and her.

Here's the odd thing that I'd never have guessed before this - the most prevailing feeling after this is a desire to start dating other women, as opposed to chasing after this one. Like several at once if need be. I think it's restored my mojo a bit after years of not going anywhere near a woman. This has been a good thing for me. And my flat's tidy.

She'll be back casting around for you or similar when she's about 33 and she hears the ticking. Hopefully you won't be waiting.

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Glad to hear she didn't lead you on, didn't come in, told you she had a bloke etc. Just don't fucking become her billy beta/emotional tampon when she needs a shoulder to cry on every time she finds out Chad has fucked her best mate.

I'd actually say you played it right by not going in for the kiss. It was never on.

1 hour ago, JoeDavola said:

Maybe she'll be single again in a few months and we can resume things then, who knows﻿.

NO! Trust me women won't suddenly start lusting after you the more they get to know you, but she would love to add you to her billy beta orbiter collection. Don't do it. Move on to other birds who might be open to a relationship from the start and don't waste any more time on this one.

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Glad to hear she didn't lead you on, didn't come in, told you she had a bloke etc. Just don't fucking become her billy beta/emotional tampon when she needs a shoulder to cry on every time she finds out Chad has fucked her best mate.

I'd actually say you played it right by not going in for the kiss. It was never on.

NO! Trust me women won't suddenly start lusting after you the more they get to know you, but she would love to add you to her billy beta orbiter collection. Don't do it. Move on to other birds who might be open to a relationship from the start and don't waste any more time on this one.

Preach on. I have been friend-zoned twice in the past month and I'm thinking of getting a tee shirt with the slogan "F*CK THE FRIENDZONE' on it.

The first one was a doctor from the near east in her early 30s who was charming and sweet but didn't understand the dating 'rules' of Britain as she'd only been here a few months. She was just high on the idea of being able to chat sociably and meet men without her brothers interfering. I put up with the 'zone' for a bit as she was so charming and pretty that I thought it might just be possible to 'convert' her but of course it wasn't.

Second was a local girl, late twenties, a real stunner. At first she kept wanting to meet but attempts at seduction were rebuffed. Alarm bells should have been ringing about what she would see in a man old enough to be her father, and why wasn't she in a relationship and why she didn't seem to have any female friends. She gave me just enough attention to string me along and keep me hoping, as a conquest like that would have been a high prize for an old fogey like me. Finally it came out in a text message, apropos of nothing, that she doesn't fancy me and just wants to be friends. Can't believe I kept that one going so long but if you could see her you would know why.

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Preach on. I have been friend-zoned twice in the past month and I'm thinking of getting a tee shirt with the slogan "F*CK THE FRIENDZONE' on it.

The first one was a doctor from the near east in her early 30s who was charming and sweet but didn't understand the dating 'rules' of Britain as she'd only been here a few months. She was just high on the idea of being able to chat sociably and meet men without her brothers interfering. I put up with the 'zone' for a bit as she was so charming and pretty that I thought it might just be possible to 'convert' her but of course it wasn't.

Second was a local girl, late twenties, a real stunner. At first she kept wanting to meet but attempts at seduction were rebuffed. Alarm bells should have been ringing about what she would see in a man old enough to be her father, and why wasn't she in a relationship and why she didn't seem to have any female friends. She gave me just enough attention to string me along and keep me hoping, as a conquest like that would have been a high prize for an old fogey like me. Finally it came out in a text message, apropos of nothing, that she doesn't fancy me and just wants to be friends. Can't believe I kept that one going so long but if you could see her you would know why.

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Invited her over to the flat before we headed out, but she suggested just meeting outside the apartment block. Fair enough, I wasn't going to beg her to come up.

Beautiful day in Belfast today; we ended up spending over 3 hours walking a loop of the most picturesque parts of the city along the water's edge, beautiful weather ect... Was kind of like the best first date ever, minus the lack of sex (which I actually don't mind). Conversation flowed really easily as we have a ton in common, far more than I'd actually thought as I'd never spent more than say 10 minutes with her before. Ran into a mate of mine at one point which was nice as proof that....ya know....I actually have mates.

She casually mentioned, in a not terribly enthusiastic tone, about being 'with' someone toward the end of the meeting, and mentioned something regarding that. I just ignored it and kept talking about what we'd been talking about. As we approached my flat at the end she was saying that she had to go back to her place for dinner blah blah. I invited her up anyway and she declined. I know I'll get mocked for this, but I didn't kiss her, based on the reception to touch earlier in the meeting and the general vibe. I told her I'd had a good time and gave her what was hopefully a non-beta casual hug, i.e. a hand around her waist/lower back, pulling her in ect. No hoverhand. As I said, I know people say I should have gone for the kiss but it really didn't seem the vibe for that.

I actually feel great now. She is exactly the kind of person I'd like to date; she's exactly the kind of person I'd like as a long term relationship. But here's the thing; I won't be contacting her again. She seems effectively unavailable. And I think there's a good chance she doesn't fancy me, even though we had a great time. And this is the good thing that I've learned about myself compared to say 5 years ago; I've become red-pilled enough that I won't be falling into a state of Limerence and pining after her. I seem to have lost the 'oneitis' gene, which is a massive thing for me. What I certainly won't be doing is being the brainy beta that she has interesting conversations with before and after she's being screwed by the big alpha rugby player boyfriend (they are the embodiment of Joe Jackson's "pretty woman walking with gorillas down my street" lyric). I'm making myself scarce again, getting on with life, and if she enjoyed the time with me enough that she wants more it'll be as a dating relationship. Maybe she'll be single again in a few months and we can resume things then, who knows. I can't choose whether she's attracted to me or not, but I can choose not to invest time as a frustrating 'friendzone' type relationship that just ends up breeding contempt both for myself and her.

Here's the odd thing that I'd never have guessed before this - the most prevailing feeling after this is a desire to start dating other women, as opposed to chasing after this one. Like several at once if need be. I think it's restored my mojo a bit after years of not going anywhere near a woman. This has been a good thing for me. And my flat's tidy.

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Second was a local girl, late twenties, a real stunner. At first she kept wanting to meet but attempts at seduction were rebuffed. Alarm bells should have been ringing about what she would see in a man old enough to be her father, and why wasn't she in a relationship and why she didn't seem to have any female friends. She gave me just enough attention to string me along and keep me hoping, as a conquest like that would have been a high prize for an old fogey like me. Finally it came out in a text message, apropos of nothing, that she doesn't fancy me and just wants to be friends. Can't believe I kept that one going so long but if you could see her you would know why.

Sounds like she's a professional dater. I came across a few. Will string you along just because they have little better to do and just want to use you as gossip to their mates to make them seem like the bee knees with all their humble bragging to the girls "oh all these men just won't leave me alone what's their problem" or because they have nothing better to do on Tuesday night and are unable to make use of their own time or be alone. If you don't seal the deal in 2 or 3 dates then just next them.

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https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/d5f083b6-d043-471a-94d0-9c3c5af97689

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Try to make it something you like, rather than something you actually want to attack.
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