Teri Sale! Everything Must Go!

When I first read this I felt shock. I couldn’t believe that someone would be willing to pay almost $4 million to sleep with someone else. But having thought it over, I’m starting to think that this chick may be on to something…

I’m all about getting lots o’ money for doing minimal work, so make me an offer. Or get someone with money to make me an offer. I read an article about a father who is in trouble with the law for selling his underage daughter into marriage for several grand, 100 cases of beer, and a few cases of meat. I, however, would prefer monetary recompense only. I don’t drink beer, and Lord knows where I’d put all that meat.

I told Paige of my idea and [she gave me permission to “out” her] since she’s a virgin too, we realized we have an even sweeter deal than this 3.7mil chick. Two virgins at once! Maybe we could have a special marketing campaign to the Muslims…. “Only in the afterlife can you find a deal this good!”

In other news, the headline “Hoarder Dies After Becoming Lost in Maze of His Own Trash” is tremendously funny. The article–not so much.