Overusing 'bully' could render word meaningless

The word "bully" is starting to get tossed around the way real estate agents use the phrase "must-see."

If we're not careful, "bully" could become just as meaningless.

We can't let that happen.

We can't let "bully" become a catch-all for every unkind word or act.

Because if we do, then people won't take bullying seriously. And kids who are truly being tormented by bullies may not get the help they need.

Bullying has a very specific definition.

Bullying is the repeated infliction of physical or psychological pain that disrupts a student's education.

But that doesn't stop students and parents from filing hundreds of bullying complaints that, once investigated by school districts, turn out to be unsubstantiated.

"This is an issue that comes up for us all the time," said Lisa Page, prevention specialist for Seminole County schools.

Perhaps, to understand it better, we ought to look at what bullying is not.

It is not hurt feelings because your team lost on the football field.

Last week the parent of a student on a losing high school football team in Texas filed a bullying complaint against the coach of an opposing team.

Apparently, the parent felt the winning team's margin of 91-0 was over the line. Maybe. But it wasn't bullying.

Bullying isn't what happens when both teams play by the rules and one comes out way ahead of the other.

That's called winning and losing. And any parent who thinks a child shouldn't learn how to take a loss without crying foul is setting up that child for a difficult life.

Earl Green, chief of discipline for Orange County schools, says he sees it all the time.

"Sometimes we get parents trying to accuse a coach of bullying because a child is not getting enough playing time," he said. "We get it all."

The district investigates every case, Green says, and many times it turns out that the student isn't playing because he is being disciplined for a behavior problem.

Or maybe the student isn't getting any playing time because he isn't very good.

While bullying has become a buzzword exploited by some, the awareness has also helped to decrease the number of serious cases administrators are seeing.

Back in 2008 the number of bullying incidents in schools statewide saw a sharp increase, but that's because a new law required every bullying complaint to be reported and investigated.

In recent years the numbers have started to dip in Central Florida.

Still, the number of reported bullying incidents — which counts every complaint no matter how minor — is far greater than the number of substantiated bullying claims the schools must report to the state.

For example, in Orange County last year parents and students reported 495 cases of bullying. But the district found just 174 to be substantiated.

The numbers were even higher two years ago, with 615 reported cases and 270 deemed substantiated.

In Seminole County, the numbers are similar. Last year in Seminole there were 157 total reports, and 61 of those were substantiated. Two years ago the total number was 232, with 147 substantiated.

The decrease in bullying complaints is a good sign, but it doesn't diminish the seriousness of bullying for many students.

For some kids, bullying is what turns comfort into fear. And, in one recent case, it became the difference between life and death.

By now you've heard the story of 12-year-old Rebecca Sedwick, who jumped to her death in Polk County last month after repeated torment by a group of girls.

The girls bullied Rebecca. They called her ugly. They told her she should die. They were relentless, even after Rebecca's mom pulled her out of school.

They used their cellphones like daggers. Every message or post was like a stab wound.

And when that kind of torment happens, when a kid says she is being bullied, it needs to be taken seriously. Not written off as another frivolous complaint.