Exactly what you were hoping for, give or take.

“This boy is an indolent and illiterate member of the class.”*

Remember how it’s September, the greatest month ever created in the entire history of everything? Well it hardly seems fair that September should get to be that much better still, but somebody else is going to have to do the complaining.

Usually, this is the sort of thing that I only discover two days from the end of the month, but not this time, boy. This time, I know good and early, and I’m sharing the news with everybody, that somebody – his publisher, that’s who – has decreed that September shall be Roald Dahl Month.

They’re suggesting that you should read Roald Dahl stories all month. Though it’s never such an awful idea to read (or at least watch?) James and the Giant Peach or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, seeing as the suggestion comes from the guy’s publisher, it’s got money-grab written all over it.

So I’m suggesting, that if you really want to spend some or all of this magnificent month celebrating Roald Dahl, the thing you should really do is write a story where everybody gets exactly what’s coming to them.

*That’s a quote taken directly from one of our hero’s report cards. Hooray for Roald Dahl!