Wednesday, August 24, 2011

FOLLOW UP ON SHATTERED DREAMS

In my previous post I shared what Prateek told me without any alternations except holding back his angry outburst against his friends who made his dream remain unfulfilled. My basic aim of sharing it here was to bring out what could be the reasons for such unhappy situation. In my opinion these can be any or combination of the following :

1.Inadequate parental interaction. I firmly believe that parents interaction with children is of utmost importance. It needs to undergo change from authoritative to openness and friendly as the child grows. Of course the discipline is not forgotten but child is made aware that rights come with responsibility. Parents need to develop confidence in children to speak to them on any matter without any hesitations. Watchful parents can mostly observe if there is change in behavior of a child and can cajole the child to confide in them. I think that interaction was lacking as there must have been some visible change in his behavior which they did not see.

2.Succumbing to peer pressure in absence of proper guidance provided either at home or school. Children need to be taught about facts of life as per growing age. Parents and teachers are the ones who are best suited for this. Or proper counseling be done with parents knowledge , this could also be part of school activity.

3.Double standards which are prevalent in our society. Boys would prefer wife to be without any blemish but do they think of same when it comes to them?

4.Gender discrimination. Why should there be restrictions placed on girls? Let the girls too have same privileges as boys but safe environments should be ensured and adequate guidance given to use their discretion with utmost care. No girl should be forced to accept what she is not willing to. In this case it seems that Namrata was given laced drinks to make her lose control over mind and make judgmental errors.

May I request for your valuable views on this.

PS : I had advised Prateek to take up flying as hobby since he is still keen to fly citing if Douglas Bader, a pilot with RAF who lost both legs in an air accident but still flew fighters during WW II, why can he not.

The points you have highlighted are so correct. It’s my own experience when you have a free and healthy interaction with your parents; you get solutions to your problems faster rather you can safely trespass any such misfortune to happen. There are 2 possibilities where children can take wrong decisions in life, either they are kept into lot of restrictions or have been given a lot of freedom. Liberty should be given but with some limits. PS. I just hope Prateek gets a chance to complete his dream. Overall Good one :) :)

you covered it very well..all relevant points..most of the time..parents are strict or too lenient ..with the result its towards destruction... I personally think..there should open atmosphere and kids know ..the wrong and the right and its impact on future..

it was indeed sad .. and I guess Prateek paid a really huge price ... really, karma catches up with all of us, doesnt it ?

you know , this generation (me included) is a lot more into risk taking, and risk enjoying. temptations are given into, and not controlled. rape etc all get condoned. the body is treated as a mere instrument of pleasure. these are also factors

I hadn't read your previous post. Just did :)The points you have come up with are totally true. Parents need to be more of a friend to their children. And children do need to know about the real world. By keeping the children in the dark, and by putting a lot of restrictions, parents are harming them. Great posts :) Take Care!

the 1st part and the 2nd .. both touched my heart...!!sometimes books ant enough to teach you lessons that is the time when life pushes you down...nice story ... i hope prateik gets over the past and works towards his future..!keep writingdasvadaniyasuvaiba..~

This is sad, isn't it? Why should such double standards exist? Children after certain age need to be explained things logically and with reasoning. They should be made to understand pros and cons of everything and allowed to take own decisions. Take care

JYOTI :

Thanks for supportive view. It is combination of these reasons which lead to this state. Take care

DEEPA :

I am highly impressed with your so honest views. I too hope that he does go for flying as hobby and fulfill his cherished dream. Take care

You are right. After certain age parents need to be more on friendly terms than being authoritarians. Children should be made to see right and wrong logically with reasoning. They then be allowed to take own decisions. Take care

C D :

I am so grateful for supportive view. Take care

SUVAIBA :

I feel so satisfied that you found these to be worthwhile. I too hope and will support him to achieve happiness. Take care

i guess the qualities those are supposed to be acquired by parents as per your post,are really ideal ones.If only few of them maintains their presence in parents behavior,the society and family's problems are likely to reduce very soon.

Hello Uncle Jack. I read this post and the one before this. Your views are truly thought provoking. I guess the problem is that majority of the parents continue to be authoritative and feel they have a right to decide everything for the child. Here is when the child stops trusting the parent and seeks advise elsewhere. Again, I also feel that friends must be made very very carefully.

That was such a valuable suggestion you gave him, what will we youngsters do without elders as nice as you?All your points are true and correctly put. One can easily succumb to temptation, but the tough part is how you win over it.I would suggest that every youngster should stop and indulge in self-appraisal and self-inspection once in a while and think responsibly.Very well said, really every youngster should read this!

Please do keep this in mind when your time comes. As parent one needs to guide the child with love and not with orders. Take care

TRANQUILITY :

As parent one needs to inculcate trust and confidence in the child to share his or her thoughts or curiosities by being open and logical. Take care

PHILO :

Been there, read that and left my comment. Take care

E T :

I feel so honoured by what you said. We need to encourage the child to have confidence to share what is in his or her mind without any fears. That is possible only by being open and supportive. Take care

With you on each word....parental guidance & openness is the key to protect children from societal pressures.....no one is to blame here.....it is just that everyone should understand and accept the change that is their in cultures & environment...yes children should be told that rights come with responsibility....

This post is very apt & important....else the kids suffer all their life in some way or the other...

09:25:30 PM

About Me

63 years old grandfather who believes that children should be given their due. Have been more of a friend than father to my children and would keep the same for their children. Offer to show options to those youngsters who feel confused but they have to take their own decisions.
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