A New NBA Season – Yes, I Still Care

Before I sat down to watch the Miami Heat take on the Boston Celtics on opening night of the NBA season, I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about either of the teams.

I’m not a Boston fan at all, but I have always liked Ray Allen, even before he was a Sonic. Also, are we sure he’s actually aged? It’s like he’s going backwards. He will always be able to shoot and he will always be smooth, but he’s playing wonderful defense like he’s 10 years younger. This has to be because he’s playing with a team that expects him to D-up and probably taught him how to do it properly… So his on-court conduct makes him look young, but, let’s be honest here, it’s the hair as well, or lack thereof. Perhaps the greatest contribution that Michael Jordan brought to the NBA was his shave-your-head-bald-before-you-are-forced-to-do-so-because-of-male-pattern-baldness-because-if-you-do-that-you-will-always-look-like-you-are-25-even-when-you-are-35-and-would-look-like-George-Costanza-if-you-let-your-hair-grow-out move. Just a strong move by MJ. Allen did this years ago, as did Vince Carter and scores of others. Although the danger is you must be vigilant about shaving, or else you’ll get the 5 O’Clock shadow on your dome and HD will pick that up and display it to the world…

I’ve been a Kevin Garnett fan for years, dating back to Nike’s “Fun Police” ads but I’m cooling on him because he has morphed into an F-Bomb machine who happens to look exactly like 7’1 a lizard–who says dinosaurs are extinct? Also, he’s playing the part of bully, without having a bully’s game or even any goon-like tendencies on the court. It seems fugazi. That said, I don’t hate him like some others do. I merely wish he’d go back to the way he was, the mean guy thing really looks like an act.

I’m tantalized by Rajon Rondo’s ability to stand at midcourt and touch each sideline simultaneously. He’s such an intriguing talent. I wonder if he’ll ever develop a semi-competent jump shot. My guess is “no” but if he does… also, what’s up with switching up and playing without a headband? I couldn’t find him on the court the other night several times.

I’ve also always liked Shaq, even old, fat, Shaq is interesting to me. I feel myself pulling for him even though he doesn’t need me to pull anything for him. He’s almost a sympathetic figure now and I don’t know how I can feel that way about him. But I do.

Finally, I like Paul Pierce’s basketball ability, but I’m bothered by his exaggerated, histrionic flopping just to get a call (I don’t care what you say about gamesmanship, but that kind of crap infuriates me; he grew up in Inglewood, CA, not exactly Beverly Hills, so it’s not like he’s a pansy, so stop flopping like one, Paul).

Boston even has Nate Robinson on their team. So what’s not to like?

Well, it boils down to this. I can’t stand their fans. The entire pampered New England region can go jump in the Charles River. Enough already, Beantowners, enough. So I pulled for the Heat and was disappointed.

Given all of that, even if I was lukewarm about Boston I would still be pulling for the Heat. And I will pull for them all year. I didn’t realize it until recently, but I want them to win.

Marc Jackson said something on Bill Simmons’s B.S. Report Podcast the other day that I hadn’t heard before, at least in these terms, which were (I’m paraphrasing):

M.J., Larry Bird, Magic… those guys didn’t have to choose, they already had Hall of Fame players on their rosters.

Sure, Larry Bird may not have decided to team up with Magic Johnson and see what the two of them could do together. But he didn’t have to because he was already playing with Robert Parish, Kevin McHale, and Dennis Johnson (not to mention Bill Walton, Danny Ainge, Cedric Maxwell, and a host of other high-quality role-players). That LeBron decided to go to a team with his good friends who just happen to be amongst the top players in the current NBA is not a sign that he gave up or that he decided not to go it “alone,” it’s that he wanted to win and anyone who is truly whining about his decision to leave Cleveland (besides Cavs fans) is not thinking objectively and may be (just may be) jealous that he had the opportunity to do what he did.

Charles Barkley (and I love Charles) did something very similar when he went to Houston to play with Scottie Pippen. No, he wasn’t in his prime, but how does that make it different? If anything, it’s a bit sadder the way he did it because he was on his way out of the league and was clearly ring-chasing. In a dark moment, Barkley may admit that he’s jealous of LeBron because he’s put himself in a position, at age 25, to win the rings that Barkley doesn’t have. Barkley likely thinks, “Man, I should have done that…”

So, I want them to win for this stupid reason: I like buddy movies. And hey, so does everyone else. Wouldn’t Lethal Weapon be lame if Mel Gibson and Danny Glover were opponents? Isn’t it much cooler that Riggs and Murtoch were buddies (although I don’t think that’s the case anymore. Jeez, Mel. I mean, jeez).

It’s interesting for me to hear people say that it’s more interesting for players to have a foil because it brings out the best in them or whatever. I believe that is true, to an extent. For some reason, people seem to think that LeBron and DWade are best cast as competitors instead of cohorts. I disagree. Wholeheartedly. I love to see guys get along, in movies, in TV shows, and in sports. I find it tragic when guys compete against each other when together they could do great things. And it’s not as if LeBron and DWade together are a guarantee to win everything; there are plenty of other teams who stand in their way (Boston, Orlando–maybe, L.A. Lakers, San Antonio–maybe, and Oklahoma City–maybe). So they are using their “powers” together to take on a league. Isn’t that challenging?

I know that readers in Seattle hate hearing about the NBA, and I’m sorry for bringing it up, but I still love basketball and I still like the NBA. So much so that I engaged in what I would be analogous to me cutting myself… I watched Chicago play Oklahoma City on Wednesday night. I swore that I would not watch that team play because I knew that it would be painful. And it was. Oh my it was. As I’ve said before, this team, is exactly the kind of team that I wanted to root for. If I couldn’t have Gary Payton, Shawn Kemp, and Detlef Schrempf, I would be happy to have Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, and Jeff Green. The team is almost perfectly constructed, except they are missing some bulk, which I suppose they could add later. They have a young, crazy athletic, cheap team with a super-duper star who is signed to a long-term deal and is as loyal as his arms are long. That said I feel like a bipolar maniac watching them play. I love watching them play and I hate watching them play because they are in Oklahoma when they should be here. It’s unhealthy (hence the cutting reference), but I can’t stop sneaking peaks. I hate where they play, but I love basketball… it’s a dilemma and I’m probably never going to get over it.

Not even if the Sacramento Kings decide to leave and relocate to Seattle…

…although I do like DeMarcus Cousins a lot… and you could talk me in to Tyreke Evans…