Anyone happening to glance towards the heavens in a week’s time and glimpses a 50-metre-long lump of rock hurtling ominously through the skies need not panic.Although it will pass closer to us than any asteroid has for the past 15 years — closer even than the TV satellites that girdle the planet — Nasa insists that 2012 DA14 will miss Earth by a good 17,100 miles (27,520km).“No Earth impact is possible,” said Donald Yeomans, an astronomer with the US space agency.

In other words: PANIC! It’s going to destroy us all!

The good news is this. If it does hit us, we will not be around to listen to Al Gore blame asteroids on climate change. Also, it will be the end of reality shows.