Tuesday, March 4, 2008

When two of your boyfriends meet

Tonight is going to be a blast. Lewy faces off against Saint John for the last time this season and I hope it is rocking. It is always fun when two of my favorite goalies are fighting for my love. It is especially poignant because the Mooseheads last two home games are against Lewiston and Saint John respectively.

It might just be too much for me to take. Bernier (please), Fullerton (if there is a God in heaven, please oh pretty, pretty please, with cherries on top), and Pelletier (hopefully, if not, Cam will see the backside of my hand) in my barn, all in the run of five days. The chances of immaculate conception are very high. I am suspecting that our baby will be the second coming of Martin Brodeur and that once born, every year after that will be 'the year a goalie stops everything' - war, famine, prejudice, pucks - literally everything.

I hope our baby comes out looking like baby Steve Mason, pads and all. It will likely be birthed in the stands or if I am driven crazy enough I will run into the crease and permanently affix myself to one of the baby daddy's legs (most likely Pelletier), and birth the baby there - in which case it will need its protective gear. Don't worry, immaculate conception babies just appear - it's not messy.

But who will I choose to help raise our baby? Last time I had a date with Pelletier he got phone numbers from 4 other girls, three of which were total tarts. I was sooo pissed I had to call up Yeti and get him to drive me home. On my last date with Bernier I was expecting a nice box of chocolates, maybe something Austrian/German like Mirabell Mozart Marzipan Kugeln, I got Ganongs instead. Fullerton was a good date, he gave me ....uuhhh, let's just call it satisfaction. The satisfaction is very important. Fully has also given me a recent bout of goalie rage and a poke-check in a shootout. It would appear as if he is thinking of me and trying to keep me happy even when he isn't playing in Halifax. What have you done for me lately P-O? No, looking pretty while riding the pine doesn't count. P-O and Bernier really have to step it up the next time they play in Halifax.