A Chat With POTUS About Iraqby Ahmed Amr
www.dissidentvoice.org
March 21, 2006

The
following is my vague recollection of a fictional interview with POTUS. While
I never got to personally ask these questions, his answers have been
reconstructed from previous Bush speeches.

Q:
Mr. President. Letís not beat around the bush. We all know youíd rather
visit a back alley dentist than show up for a mano-a-mano interview with
the alternative press. So, let me warn you upfront that some of my
questions are going to seem like the dental equivalent of a triple bypass
root canal by a blind intern.

President Bush:
Bring it on.

Q:
Letís start with the war in Iraq. No weapons of mass destruction. No Iraqi
ties to Al Qaeda. What were you thinking?

President Bush:
You know something. Weíre a hopeful society and we want to give all Iraqis
the hope they will live through this ordeal. We sent our finest men to
help them get rid of a brutal dictator. The problem is that Iraqis are not
nearly as hopeful or helpful as we expected. What I mean to say is ...

Q:
Before you go on, allow me to get back to my original question. Iím
hopeful that you still remember what it is. I was asking you about the
phantom WMD stockpiles.

President Bush:
Well, we intend to continue with our efforts to build a democratic Iraq
that will be an ally in the war on terror. We will stand up when they sit
down. I mean they will sit up when we stand down.

Q:
I donít mean to be insistent. But I still want to know if you stand by
your pre-war assessment that Iraq was an imminent threat to our national
security.

President Bush:
I appreciate that question. Weíve taken our case to the American people.
On my watch, tyrants like Saddam will never threaten innocent life in our
country. We will fight the terrorists over there before we have to fight
them over here. The American people understand that.

Q:
But some Americans -- perhaps a majority -- are questioning the premise
that Iraqis threatened our people over here before we invaded their people
over there. Some have gone so far as to suggest that pre-war intelligence
was deliberately and systematically fabricated to make a case for a war
with a secret neo-con agenda.

President Bush:
I know a lot of well meaning people fail to understand why we had to take
the fight to the enemy. Lest we forget, our way of life changed after
9/11. Our only option is to smoke the enemy out of his caves and drain the
swamp. Once the mission is complete, our boys will come home to a grateful
country and be greeted with the honor they deserve.

Q:
Is that your final answer? Moving on. You keep talking about the troops as
if they are some monolithic band of brothers who enthusiastically support
the war effort. Yet a recent Zogby poll reveals that most of them are not
quite convinced that we should still be over there. They want to come home
and soon. As commander-in-chief, have you failed to explain the mission to
the troops.

President Bush:
Everybody who has the privilege to work in my administration knows that I
donít govern by poll numbers. Our troops understand that we will not
surrender to terrorists. Zarqawi and Al Qaeda will not intimidate us. The
enemy is watching us. They think America is weak. They believe we will cut
and run if they kill and maim a few thousand of our troops. They feel
threatened by the emergence of a democratic Iraq that will be a beacon of
hope in the region. Thatís why they kill innocent life.

Q:
But going back to the Zogby poll. Can you believe that most of our troops
are under the mistaken impression that their mission is to take revenge
for 9/11? Could you take a moment to correct that perception and could you
give them a clear concise reason to justify their sacrifices.

President Bush:
I never said that Saddam was tied to Al Qaeda. But we all know that Saddam
was an evil dictator who brutalized his people. He attacked his neighbors.
He used chemical weapons against the Kurds in 1982. After 9/11, we no
longer had the option to look the other way and wait for a mushroom cloud
over New York.

Q:
Iím confused. Are you again suggesting that Saddam possessed
unconventional weapons capabilities and delivery systems capable of
harming the United States of America.

President Bush:
We went by the same intelligence as the British and the Israelis. If
Saddam had illegitimate weapons, he would not have hesitated to use them.
Saddam was a gathering threat. It was only after we invaded that we became
certain that he didnít have WMD stockpiles. But we couldnít take any
chances. I went to war with the intelligence I have.

Q:
Mr. President, you couldnít possibly be referring to the yellow cake
uranium scam? I have before me a copy of the Downing Street memo that
makes it clear that the intelligence was fixed to make a case for war.
Powell's Former Chief of Staff Lawrence Wilkerson calls pre-war
intelligence a ďhoax on the American People.Ē Were you a victim of the
hoax or a willing participant in the deception of the American people?

President Bush:
Let me answer your question this way. My job is to delegate. Technically,
the United States Postal Service is under my direct command. But donít
expect me to personally deliver your mail. If senior members of my staff
were involved in any illegal activities -- they will be held to account.

Q:
It seems that every few months you come up with a new plan and follow it
up with a media blitz to boost support for this increasingly unpopular
quagmire. Correct me if Iím wrong, but donít you think that every new plan
is basically an admission that the old plan didnít work?

President Bush:
A good leader is always open to new ideas. Despite the steady progress in
our mission, we are encountering unknowable outcomes that we didnít
foresee in our original blue prints. Like the insurgency, the civil war
and the possibility that Iran might emerge as the only winner.

Q:
Iíve also noticed that you usually stage these media events in front of
neo-con audiences like the certifiable Likudniks at the Foundation for the
Defense of Democracies or the pro-Israeli lobbyists at the American
Enterprise Institute. How much of the neo-con Kool Aid can one president
digest?

President Bush:
I donít know exactly what you mean by ďneo-cons.Ē Sometimes certain people
use that term to mean ďthe Jews.Ē Whatever one thinks about the war in
Iraq, I donít think anti-Semitism has any place in this debate.

Q:
That sounds like a smear on those who would challenge the Likudnik
ideology and credentials of the individuals who stridently marketed this
war. I must remind you that many of the anti-war activists are Jewish. So,
I hope you are not suggesting that anyone who wins an argument against a
neo-con think tank is an anti-Semite. Because I take that as a personal
insult.

President Bush:
Thatís not what I said. I am sorry if I offended you.

Q:
Offense taken but apology accepted. Moving on. I went through that speech
you gave to the FDD. Another day. Another speech. Another new plan for
victory. However, I did notice one new item in the speech. Itís the first
time you have acknowledged that militias have infiltrated the security
forces. You also mentioned a startling figure -- that less than one
percent of last Octoberís police trainees were Sunni. So, I assume some
folks in the Pentagon must have been aware that the police force was
systematically being transformed into the military arm of SCIRI -- a group
that was established, armed, trained and indoctrinated by the Iranian
Revolutionary Guards. Itís also fair to assume that you must have heard of
the well-documented accounts of police forces acting as death squads and
operating torture cells a few blocks from the Ministry of the Interior and
the Green Zone. Was this just an oversight that you are now moving to
correct? Why has it taken since last October to address this disturbing
development? Was this just another blunder or an unintended consequence of
whatever your last plan was? Some Iraqis are suggesting it was a
deliberate plot to incite a civil war.

President Bush:
Thatís a long question. Before I give you an answer, Iíll have to review
my speech and figure out what I was talking about. War is an art -- not a
science. We do our best to correctly assess our situation, adjust our
goals and come up with solutions. Our mission is to complete the job and
emerge victorious in our fight with a vicious enemy. On 9/11, we saw the
nature of that enemy. We will never forget and we will never retreat.

Q:
Your Ambassador in Iraq, Zalmay Khalilzad, recently said that the invasion
of Iraq has opened a Pandoraís Box that threatens the stability of the
whole region and increases the terror threat. How do you respond?

President Bush:
Pandoraís Box? Well -- you know -- life is like a box of chocolates -- you
never know what youíre going to get. Everything hasnít worked out the way
we would have wanted. Weíve made a few mistakes and weíre taking
corrective measures. But the terrorists are determined to roll back our
progress in bringing democracy to the region. Unlike the Ambassador, I
personally wouldnít buy a box of chocolates from a girl named Pandora.
Thatís why I am a little more optimistic. I think the media has really
neglected to tell the whole story in Iraq. Good news doesnít sell. But the
Iraqi people see tangible evidence that their lives are better than under
Saddam.

Q:
OK. But letís go back to the bad news for a moment. Sectarian militias
allied with Iran are now in virtual control of the ministry of the
interior. Police officers fully attired in their official uniforms
moonlight as death squads. The insurgency is still raging. Baghdad morgue
employees say thousands of dead bodies have been delivered to their
facilities with obvious signs of torture. Reconstruction efforts are now
in deep freeze. Iraq has become a breeding ground for terrorists. Three
months after the elections, the Iraqi parliament has yet to convene --
much less put together a functional government. The rule of law no longer
exists; gangs roam the streets preying on innocent victims and kidnapping
has become a growth industry. While Iraqis have to line up to get gas,
international oil prices have doubled. Now, tell me more about the good
news?

President Bush:
Iraqis voted in democratic elections. Saddam is on trial. We are hopeful
that, once a new government is in place, the situation will improve very
rapidly. We expect the insurgency will run out of steam and we can then
begin do withdraw our troops. The decision on the number of troops we need
to complete our mission will be made by our generals based on their best
judgment of the conditions on the ground.

Q:
You keep using that word ďHopeful.Ē Is ďhopeĒ a foreign policy? Did we
lose 2300 men, kill tens of thousands of Iraqis, torture prisoners at Abu
Ghraib, use illegal phosphorous weapons in Fallujah, demolish the
countryís basic infrastructure, ignite a civil war and waste hundreds of
billions of our tax dollars only to be left with a hope and a prayer?

President Bush:
I pray every day for the safety of our troops. Our mission in Iraq is a
small price to pay for the security of our country. As your commander in
chief, my primary responsibility is to defend our nation against foreign
enemies -- regardless of the cost.

Q:
Most Americans now believe that Iraq is sliding into a state of anarchy
and civil war and that they donít seem to share your passion for a mission
they no longer understand.

President Bush:
I think they are mistaken and misinformed. Letís not prejudge history
based on polls.

Q:
Rumsfeld has just testified before Congress that in the event of civil war
-- American troops would take a neutral stand and leave it to the Iraqi
army. Is that official policy?

President Bush:
The policy of my administration is to prepare contingencies for all
possibilities. In the unlikely event of a civil war, it will be up to the
newly elected Iraqi government to shoulder the responsibility of
intervening and cooling tempers. Thatís not an appropriate role for our
troops.

Q:
Once again, you have me a little confused. If itís their burden to handle
a civil war that came about as a result of our intervention -- why didnít
we consider it their responsibility to get rid of Saddam Hussein without
our intervention?

President Bush:
I donít understand the question.

Q:
Yes you do.

President Bush:
No I donít.

Q:
Do you want me to rephrase the question?

President Bush:
No I donít.

Q:
Can you handle another question?

President Bush:
No I canít.

Q:
Well then, I am just going to have to end this interview and attend to my
laundry.