HotUKDeals Of The Day - Monday 1st August

On the day when Newcastle United decided to let Joey Barton go on a free transfer, we've charged ourselves with the task of finding an even bigger bunch of bargains. Easy peasy.

You won't find any temperamental midfielders over on HotUKDeals but you will find all of this stuff and more...

First up comes a tiny little device that could fit in the palm of your hand but could actually deafen you if used incorrectly.That's right - it's a hand grenade. Ha ha LOL ROFL - we're only joking. It's actually a portable speaker, arguably the finest of its type for its price.

Right now, that price is only £10.99 and the device in question is the X-Mi Mini II (2nd generation). Plug it into your phone, mp3 player, laptop or computer and within seconds your sounds will be blasting your face right off the front of yuor head. We tested it out on Kick by INXS and it gets a big Bitterwallet THUMBS UP.

When we're not listening to INXS around here, we're stuffing Olympian quantities of basmati rice into our faces. Not just on its own of course - sometimes we'll add a splash of vinegar or some ladies hairspray for flavour.

But we're running low, and so we were delighted to spy this bargain earlier on - it's TEN kilograms of Badshah basmati rice and it could be yours for as little as just £7.20. Now, to buy 30 gallons of vinegar and £3,500 worth of hairspray...

If you've got 10kg of basmati rice and are looking for something suitable with which to stir it, you could do a lot worse than using a sturdy baguette. That's right, it's a tenuous link. Please (French) stick with us.

The sturdy baguette we've got in mind comes from Morrisons and is up for grabs for only 35p at the moment. You can insert your own French bread-based pun here if you like - we really can't be bothered. Oh no, we already did one! Bye!