For my untempered heart

Who are you living for?

The above link is to a YouTube video that I really want to share with those that have not already seen it. It’s about social media and how there’s really nothing social about it. It’s quick and painless and worth every second!

My teenage son is normally quite the homebody and pretty shy. He tells me he is bored a lot, which I find frustrating. I wish I could say I was bored that often! (Actually, not really, I would go insane.) I have been telling him for some time now that he needs to find some hobbies (other than surfing the internet for stuff to buy) and get a job for when school ends. Lately, and sort-of all-of-a-sudden, he has been pretty busy and away from home. I asked him what was going on, wondering what had spurred him into action. He showed me this video. Apparently, it made an impact.

I would have to say it made an impact on me too. When I was away in the mountains for 10 days recently, I did not have service most of that time. It was liberating. It felt so good because I did not feel obligated. I didn’t feel the pressure to maintain an appearance, so to speak, but I worried about it and that bothered me. I struggled between the feelings of the world revolving without me, and enjoying complete freedom from technology.

After I thought about how I wanted this knowledge to impact me, I determined that I need to write for myself and hopefully, make an impact on others. I need to always keep my focus on these goals and not worry about how many comments, how many followers and how many likes. It is easy to get sucked into. I admit that I feel anxious in the morning to check my WP account and see if the little box in the upper right-hand corner is the color orange. I feel happy when it is, and kind of disappointed if it isn’t. I don’t want to feel that way. Yes, I want to feel like what I am writing is making an impact but I don’t want to “worry” about it. I want to send it out with love…and leave the rest to the universe. I want to find the happy balance between growing my audience (I do want to write a book one day and so someone has to find me!), and doing what I love without pressure or spending an excessive amount of time at this bloody computer! I want to find the sweet spot. That is my goal…that is my mission. If my teenage son is smart enough to figure this out, than I have NO EXCUSES!

I get that. I wasn’t trying to say that there was anything wrong with it, other than it going too far. And everyone’s “too far” is going to be different. We each have to determine what that is. I was only saying what I would like for me. I used WP as a quick example but I intended it to apply to all social media avenues. I guess that wasn’t very clear. I really enjoy and appreciate the community I have created here on WP. I definitely wasn’t trying to discount that.

Definitely–sometimes I wonder what is really driving what I do, too. Very often I do things for myself, but I’ve come to realize that subconsciously wanting a reaction out of people on social media happens often too.

Actually, I understand exactly what you mean. On my old blog, I spent seven years creating a wonderful space at the end of which I had only 50 followers. I never marketed myself, and I wrote only for me. I did want people to read and relate to what I wrote, and people who knew about it would come and tell me that they ‘felt’ my writing, that they could connect. And that was enough.

Lately though, like you, I have received so much attention on my blog–even though I’m just starting out–that I often check to see who has passed by. I don’t want to care so much, so I’ve decided that people who want to comment will, and it is enough that it reached and touched somebody somewhere, even if I don’t always know about it.

When I see it that way, the pressure is so much less. I write when I want to, and like you say- leave the rest to the universe 🙂

Your comment really made me smile! It is so hard sometimes to express in words our sentiments…our words can so easily be misinterpreted. So it just made me really happy that you GOT what I was trying to say! So, thanks! 🙂

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Welcome,

My original focus here was to share my story of divorce, marriage and adultery in hopes to help others heal. In that process, I got a bit lost and detoured from my little sanctuary here for over a year. My heart and the literal joy it receives from bringing thoughts into something almost tangible, has brought me back. I just want to write about whatever lights my fire and whatever helps me grow with the deepest of intentions that someone found just what they were looking for. ❤