Dongtini — Episode 95

On this episode: Objectivity about baby cuteness, Stephy vs. Jesus Camp, Simone’s postpartum helpline ordeal (“help”line), how to get away from people on sidewalks holding clipboards, listener email, Simone & Stephanie: Streaming On Your Hard Drive with coincidental reviewing of 9/11 film “The Woman Who Wasn’t There” on 9/11, Simone’s Disgruntled Letter To Hanes, caramel pronounciation discrepancies, and we discuss being told by other women that we can’t say the c-word. (Dare you to page Harry Seaward over an airport intercom.)

So glad you’re back with a new episode! I grew up in the mid-west and always pronounced it carml with the end all shmooshed together until my husband who grew up in L.A. got me to start saying it right. When I pronounce it correctly in front of other mid-westerners now though, I feel a pang of snobbery.

It warms the cockles of my heart to see that people are still speaking the Queen’s English. The A is not silent!

Anyway, Simone you should never let PETA of all people try to guilt you about not caring about animals! If Cracked is to be believed (and I tend to) then:
“Well … there’s the fact that PETA is, and always has been, about killing animals. In 2011, their headquarters — an animal shelter in Norfolk, Virginia — killed 95 percent of the animals they took under their care (a combined 1,965 cats and dogs), whereas most other shelters only euthanize about 35 percent. They kill so many animals that they were almost denied the title of “shelter” and forced to call themselves a “euthanasia clinic.” (College Application Pro Tip: Don’t include “euthanasia clinic” on your list of extracurriculars.)

We understand that there is a practical limit to how many animals you can help and that, for some animals, euthanasia is a tragic necessity. But it’s hard to take seriously PETA’s claim that they’re killing animals as “an act of love” when they’ve been sued for taking lost pets and adoptable puppies and kittens from shelters, killing them, and then dumping their bodies in a dumpster. But hey, at least they’re not in cages anymore, right?”

I would LOVE it if some Christian yay-hoo told me that butt sex isn’t righteous because butts don’t lubricate. Haven’t they ever heard the term BUTT SNOT?? I know this is a thing because Dan Savage said it was! Also butt snot is what helps your poop slide out. I think. I am not sure. I’m at work, otherwise I’d Google “butt snot.”

As for the thong discussion, I’m going to throw my panties in the ring. I like thongs! They don’t bother me at all. Actually, full-butt underwear kind of gets on my nerves. I guess I’m crazy but I think thong underwear is actually pretty comfortable. It stays where I put it and doesn’t bunch up and I think if you buy the right kind they’re great. I always get saggy bottom syndrome with the full butt panties, which I HATE. I also hate visible panty lines…I have seen some on women that look like they are painful, like the panties are 10 sizes smaller than the pants. I think the moral of the story is that you can easily buy the wrong kind/size of ANY type of underwear and just have the worst day of your life because of it. But I think I have hit the right stride with my butt floss.