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After the DIY nightmare of the Sixth Doctor’s coat, and the knitting yourself blind problems of the Seventh Doctor’s sweater, here’s a costume that should be fairly straightforward to get sorted. And we’ve finally left those question marks behind!

The downside is there’s not a lot of choice in terms of color, as there is only one Eighth Doctor costume – it’s the Wild Bill Hickock outfit he found in a hospital locker after his regeneration. That’s right, this Doctor (Paul McGann) enjoys a bit of cosplay too.

1: Hair – get a brown rockstar wig, something with a bit of curl to it. It doesn’t matter if it looks like a wig, rather than real hair, because if you look at the Eighth Doctor, his hair also looks like a wig. Must be some, uh, temporal imbalance in the, ah, regenerative tissue, or something.

2: Shirt – a white dress shirt with high collars. No question marks! Not even a little one!

3: Tie – it’s a big floppy cravat, like the Sixth Doctor’s, only battleship grey, rather than polka-dotted and bright green. The Eighth Doctor does not think that bow ties are cool.

4: Waistcoat – possibly the most elaborate waistcoat of all the Doctors. It’s a six button affair, all silky and embroidered. Just like Wild Bill would’ve worn.

5: Jacket – a bottle-green velvet frock coat. The Doctor has a serious thing about frock coats, does he not?

6: Pants – light grey, high-waisted, held up by suspenders, although you could get away with a belt under than extravagant waistcoat.

7: Shoes – black rubberised ankle-high shoes. They don’t fit the Doctor at first, as indeed nothing does after a regeneration, so he has to wear them in with a bit of walking. Travelling is the Doctor’s solution to any personal problem.

Then you’ll need a fob watch, and a sonic screwdriver with a red top, oh and a tie pin to hold that voluminous tie back. Now, carry yourself like a disgraced prince, all manners and charm, but slightly vulnerable, and you’re there. Just don’t go out in a high wind, or your wig’ll blow off.