Tag Archives: Love

I still remember the first time we metThere was something so different about youYour closeness was something I wanted to getThat smile on you was so new.Out of no where you called me on the phoneI wanted to sit there and talk to you foreverYou were so new, so crazy and unknownI just knew that our friendship would never sever.Years together but now we barely hold it togetherWhat happened to the way this all used to beI never wanted you out of my life, NeverI sat there long, thinking you didn’t see.We decided to make it all all rightIt didn’t work out; we knew it could notWe couldn’t even really stand each others’ sightIt shouldn’t end this way but it did and end up in a knot.I miss you and everything you were to meYears from now we will look back on it allWe will be older and finally be able to seeThat this friendship will stand the test of time and never fall.

Like this:

Those moments in the dark..Night so quiet and starkRaising pain in the heartDreams left to fall apartLooking through gazed visionOf life’s important missionBetween incomplete sectionsToyed with emotionsThose moments in the dark..Body shaping like a bent arcTears left uncriedLying, bound and tiedLaughing the dictionFreeing the anticipationJoy, once mineNow belong to different timeOh, Those moments…

Tears from thy crying heart…

Falsified emotions rising up tonight,Feeling of betrayal in all its might.Concealed conversations causing caustic commotions,Feeding thoughts of doubts ‘n’ suspicions.Darkness crying out this soul’s destiny,Tears from the heart spitting misery.Tears from thy crying heart…Deafening silence slithering inside,Loneliness accompanying this woeful ride.Subconsciously seeking those ignorant ecstasies,Enchanting melancholy upon bitter fantasies.Soulful rhythms only to be heard,Tears from the heart to be shared.Tears from thy crying heart…

What is it that comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘marriage’? Two people, whose hearts and minds are united, who care for each other and who share a sacred bond nourished by love, companionship and faith, isn’t it?

However, have you seen sometimes that your marriage might not meet your or your spouse’s expectations? When such challenging situations constantly arise, you may require some skill to nurture your relationship. How to develop that skill? Meditation might help.

These are some practical tips which, when kept in mind, can make this journey smoother and more comfortable for both your spouse and you.

Tenali Raman, known for his wisdom and wit, sets an example for the secrets of a happy married life.

Secret 1- Pamper your man’s ego

One of the courtiers from the king’s durbar (court) was jealous of Tenali’s wisdom. One day, he approached Tenali’s wife.

Courtier – Your husband’s brain is the size of a peanut!

Tenali’s wife – So what, it’s the world’s largest peanut.

This secret is for women. Never step on the ego of your man.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar – The whole world may say to him that he has no brains, but you, his wife, should never say that. You should always say, ‘You are the most intelligent person on the planet. Just the fact that you don’t use your brain does not mean you don’t have it!’ You should always pump his ego. Just praise and shower him with compliments sometimes. Even when he has made some mistake, tell him that he has the ability to do better. Just that little praise will make him feel better.

The most important thing to a man is that at least his wife thinks that he is the best. Now, pampering his ego may require you to capture all the goodness in him and amplify it. And this skill develops with meditation.

Secret 2 – Respect your wife’s emotions

Tenali Raman gives 20 gold coins to his wife.

Wife (happily) – Now I’ll do my monthly shopping!

Seeing this, Tenali’s friend was taken by surprise.

Friend – You gave so much money to your wife, how do you manage all your expenses?

Tenali – Well, managing expenses is easier than managing emotions.

Emotions are very powerful and you can easily get caught up in them. As a man, it is important to deal with the woman’s emotions skilfully. Sometimes, you may have to nurture them well.

Meditation brings in you that skill to be sensitive and sensible at the same time while dealing with your wife’s emotions. It gives you the ability to bring that pleasantness in the atmosphere which is important for a healthy relationship.

Secret 3 – Don’t demand a proof for love

Tenali’s wife – Tenali, will you always love me?

Tenali’s – Hmm, let me think about it.

After a few seconds (smiling)

Tenali – I will love you for as long as the sun keeps shining during the day.

Do you see this? Just like the existence of the sun during the day, certain things are very obvious and do not need any proof. Love is one of those things. We look for a proof for love from our partner all the time.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar- Never ask for proof of your partner’s love for you! Do not ask each other, ’Do you really love me?’ Even if you find something lacking, just say, ’Why do you love me so much?’ Take it for granted that they love you. Even if the spring has died out, it will start again.

Secret 4 – As a couple, have a higher goal for the society

One evening, impressed with Tenali’s wisdom, a saint gives Tenali two fruits of happiness. Tenali decides to keep one for himself and his wife and generously decides to give the other to a worthy couple. He calls three of his closest friends and their wives to tea.

Tenali to the first couple – What do you want in life?

Man – I just want to see my wife happy all the time.

Wife – I just want to see my husband happy all the time.

Tenali to the second couple – What is it that you want in life?

Man – I want to build a nice, big house for the comfort of my wife.

Wife – I want to travel the whole world with my husband!

Tenali to the third couple – What is it that you want to do in life?

Man – I want to create a more holistic education system in our society.

Wife – I want to add to the vision of my husband.

Tenali happily gives the fruit of happiness to the third couple.

When the husband and wife are simply focused on each other all the time, they quickly enter into fights. After the initial phase of marriage, where everything is magical, faults start surfacing all too soon. Lines moving towards each other only move apart after the point of intersection.

Again, when the husband and wife are not focused on each other and their goals in life are different, they stop seeing eye-to-eye with each other and communication and trust break down. Further, when the goals are only to satisfy personal desires, there is not much fulfillment or merit that is gained.

It is only when both are moving together, with their focus on a higher goal for the society, for the world, that values are upheld in the relationship and beauty, love and faith are nourished. Parallel lines move together until infinity. We need to have both personal goals and goals for the society. Only then would we have a sense of fulfillment and higher purpose. This paradigm shift in our thinking, from “What about me?” to “What can I do for others?” happens naturally when we meditate. The skill, courage and commitment to move together, come what may, is nourished and strengthened by meditation. The deeper the foundation, the taller the building will be. Meditation brings this depth to our relationship so that our life and aspirations can reach out to the sky!

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: You will just see the body out there.
Once you come out of the body, you will see your whole life flashing like a movie in a few minutes, and you will only know how much love you gave and how much knowledge you received.

These will be the only two questions that will stand.
1. How much love you gave! Not how much love you received, and
2. How much knowledge you gained.

This question will come and you will say, ‘I will do better in the next’, and that is it. Then there is peace. It is like, sometimes at night before sleeping you review what all work you have to do the next day. You say, ‘This all has to be done tomorrow. Okay, I will do it’, and then you go to bed, isn’t it!

Same thing happens after death. Then that intention of what you will do next life will bring the next body and the next birth to us. Then we choose our parents, the place, and everything else and then we come to this world.

So nothing to be worried about death!

A question was asked to Sri Sri Ravi Shankar about what happens after death and he replies on what are the two questions we are asked. Beautiful answer!

Like this:

Have you noticed any particular patterns that you tend to do regularly which eventually tends to occur subconsciously? No? Let me rephrase. Have you noticed your HABITS? Sounds familiar now right? If you read my first question carefully, it says – “.. eventually tends to OCCUR subconsciously” in it. This is the interesting part about a habit. You do not know you are doing it since you need not engage in self-analysis when you are doing it. For example, drinking coffee or smoking a cigarette the moment you wake up.

Lets talk about bad habits and on how to over come those. A bad habit is negative pattern that you keep doing. Some examples would be procrastination, biting your nails, etc. A bad habit is not an addiction unless the person looses control over his behavior. There are many ways to overcome a bad habit or any habit for that instance. Some ways include – behviour modification techniques, habit reversing techniques, etc. These techniques involve detail analysis of the behavior and treating them accordingly.

There is a natural way to treat them too. using your EMOTIONS. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says that our habits can be dealt with Love, Greed and Fear.

Love

When a loved one comes and asks you to refrain from sometime, we easily control the behavior for their sake. A promise to a loved one has got great powers! This is one of the easiest way and smooth way of controlling a habit.

Greed

Sri Sri says that if you are offered a million dollars to stop doing something, you would put your best efforts to stop it to get the million dollars. So greed can help us in this way.

Fear

This technique has been used from the ancient days to alter and change our habits. Instilling fear in kids to make them do something or stop them from doing something. It is the same with adults.

A different approach to tackling habits is by taking a time bound vow. This is called as Samyama in Sanskrit. Sri Sri says that taking the vows according to time and place is important. For example, suppose someone has a habit of smoking cigarettes and says, “I will quit smoking,” but cannot do it. They can take a vow, three months or 90 days; a time-bound vow. If someone is used to cursing and swearing, take a vow not to use bad language for ten days. Don’t take it for a lifetime; you will break it immediately. If you happen to break it in between, don’t worry. Just begin again. Slowly increase the duration until it becomes your nature.

Habits will clog you when there is no liveliness or juice in life. When there is a direction for life force, you can rise above habits through Samyama. – Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

So lets take on our bad habits, list them down and start doing our samyama :))

Share this:

Like this:

A flower can’t break. What breaks is the bud, and it breaks for good. What you thought was love, was not love. In true love there is no heartbreak. A broken heart means broken demands, broken expectations and broken hopes.

Share this:

Like this:

In love even an object gains life. Stones speak to you, trees speak to you, the sun, the moon and the whole creation becomes alive, Divine. In lust even a living being becomes a mere object. You want to use even people like objects. Here are some salient attributes of love and lust. They are so different yet so close! If you find more you may add to the list.

LUST vs LOVE

Lust bring tension

Love brings relaxation

Lust focuses on the part

Love focuses on the whole

Lust brings violence

Love brings sacrifice

In lust you want to grab and possess

In love you want to give and surrender

Lust says all I want you to have is what I want

Love says I want you to have what you want

In lust there is effort

Love is effortless

Lust causes feverishness and frustration

Love causes longing and pain

Lust imprisons and destroys

Love liberates and sets you free

Lust demands

Love commands

Lust gets you mixed up and confused

In love you are focused and spaced out!!

Lust is only dark and monotonous

Love has many modes and colours

If someone’s lust is interrupted they get angry and start hating. Hatred in the world today is not out of love, it is out of lust.

Love is playfulness and in lust there is cunningness and manipulation. Shiva, the embodiment of innocence and love was meditating. His meditation was disturbed by an arrow of flowers from the lord of lust. As soon as Shiva woke up he opened his third eye and the lord of lust, Manmatha (one who churns the mind) was reduced to ashes. Everybody celebrated by throwing colors on each other realising that life is full of colours.

We play many roles in our life. If all the roles get mixed up it becomes dark, like when you mix all the colours. The wise play each role distinctively side by side, like colors displayed side by side form a rainbow.

Art Of Living

Blog Stats

Prayer

Saha nav avatu, Saha nau bhunaktu, Saha viryam karavavahi: Tejasvi nav adhitam astu: ma vidvisavahai; Aum Santih, Santih, Santih - May He protect us both; may He be pleased with us both; may we work together with vigor; may our study make us illumined; may there be no dislike between us. Aum, peace, peace, peace.

Archives

Aravind Venkatachalam

is a senior software engineer living in the Bay area. He is a devotee of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar and volunteers for the Art of Living Foundation. He uses this blog to share his ideas on ancient wisdom from the Puranas and from Sri Sri along with many other stories and juicy stuff!!