Music and people hold my life together. I describe experiences, discoveries and insights, often connected with music and with teaching and playing piano. The blog is a way to stay in touch with friends, and may also be food for thought for anyone else, especially people connected with music and the piano/
Musik und Menschen halten mein Leben zusammen. Ich beschreibe Erfahrungen, Entdeckungen und Einsichten, oft in Zusammenhang mit dem Klavierspiel und dem Klavierunterricht.

The program promised a feast of virtuosity: Beethoven’s " Appassionata" - the Sonata op 57 in f-minor, Chopin’s Fantasy in f-minor op 49, and both books of Brahm’s Paganini Variations. I knew Sofia Agranovich had played it twice before, but I had to pass both times, due to other obligations. So, I was very happy when I received the invitation to my third chance at “The Barge”, New York City’s swimming concert hall. The boat is anchored just across the southern tip of Manhattan, right by the Brooklyn Bridge. It was one of those beautiful days we usually don’t get until September: clear blue skies, lots of sunshine but no too hot; just the right weather for the trip.

Barge Music, New York City

The free Saturday afternoon concert had drawn quite a crowd. Most seats were taken by the time the program began. It would be so nice if people understood not only the pleasure, but also the obligation that comes with the appreciation of serious music and serious playing - listen quietly, and if you absolutely have to come late or leave early, do so at the end of a piece or movement, and do your best not to disturb the silence.

Ms Agranovich announces the program

She really owns this piece, I thought, as Ms Agranovich performed the Appassionata. Her playing revealed deep musical understanding and aimed for nuance rather than superficial effects. There was sensitive attention to detail without losing the overall connection. The interpretation was very personal and deeply felt.

The Chopin Fantasy and the Paganini Variations pose great technical challenges for the pianist. Seemingly effortless, she played those difficult works, and made the audience forget that they are virtuoso pieces. Technique was always the servant, never the master of the music.

The whistle of the East River Ferry coordinated perfectly with the Paganini Variations, displaying a secure feeling for the most stunning effect in the softest places. A smile rushed across the face of the pianist, yet the “music of the city” never for a moment got her fingers off track or disturbed her concentration.

Sofia Agranovich at the piano

Crowds of tourists were milling around outside - they don’t know what they’re missing, I couldn’t help thinking. It was a special concert that really made my day.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

I experienced my first “Ham Sandwich Situation” in the 1990’s, when I was struggling with a dissertation. Afterwards I realized that I have experienced “Ham Sandwich Situations” throughout my life, but that was before I discovered the potential of ham sandwiches as a tool in crisis management.

“Ham Sandwich Situations” are situations where life slaps you in the face unexpectedly, and you find yourself in a completely different place than you thought you were. Nothing can be changed, all you can do is accept the fact, and find ways to deal with it.

As I said, my dissertation wasn’t going anywhere, and I considered boosting the project through changing advisors. I heard about a professor in another city with some background in my topic. I contacted her, she seemed interested, and asked me to send in some of my work.

A couple of months later I called again, to find out what she thought. Yes, she what I had written, and we agreed on a date and time to meet, and talk about the next steps to be taken. She mentioned that her time would be limited, because her presence was required at a meeting, but an hour should be sufficient to go over everything we needed to discuss.

The city where she taught was about 5 hours away from where I lived. I got up before the crack of dawn to catch a train that would get me there in time. I got to the restaurant where we were planning to meet, sat down at a table and waited. The appointed time came and went; no professor - this was before cell phones. I spent half an hour reading through my notes, preparing what I was going to say, all the while scanning the restaurant for new arrivals, so I wouldn’t miss her.

Thirty five minutes after the appointed time she arrived, smiling, cordially excusing herself for being late, she had been held up. I stated my case. When I asked about the administrative procedures required to finalize the change, she informed me that she was considering to apply for a position that had opened up at another university. Under these circumstances, she couldn’t possibly take me on as a doctoral student. And then she had to leave really fast, so she wouldn’t be late for her meeting.

It didn’t sound as if she’d become aware of the job opportunity that very morning. Couldn’t she tell me that on the phone, instead of having me get up at 4 am, spend all the time on the train, and the ticket wasn’t exactly cheap, either” I thought on my way back to the station.

Suddenly, I felt a strong urge to do something violent. I’m a vegetarian, and a sandwich stand nearby was selling ham sandwiches. I bought an extra large one, apologized to the pig who had given its life to make this sandwich possible, and devoured it with delight.

Thus fortified, I felt a little better. Gradually, my thoughts started to drift towards the future, and the decision what to do next with my stranded project - eventually, it got overtaken by life, and I abandoned it.

Over the years, ham sandwiches have continued to be reliable allies in dealing with difficult situations. Recently, though, I found an alternative.

I was browsing through the book store, trying to find something that might cheer up a friend who had been diagnosed with a serious illness. I scanned the self-help section, those books whose authors have been through it and suggest this and that, positive thinking and what not. I couldn’t help it, but much of it sounded so know-it-all patronizing.

When I’m really miserable and someone suggest “positive thinking”I sometimes feel an urge to punch them in the face. I have a right to feel miserable, and I want to exercise it. At the same time, you can only be miserable for so long, and the time comes when you have to pull yourself out of the mud, if you do want to go on, that is. I guess that’s the moment where the ham sandwich comes in, it’s the catalyst that helps you through the transition.

At the bookstore that day, I found a small, square, thick book, like a little power package, squeezed between the volumes of scientific research and spiritual advice. It was called 14000 things to be happy about. All it contained was lists, pages and pages, recording small, everyday incidents that could make you feel good, for just a moment: a lucky penny found on the street, a cool breeze on a hot day, a bright blue flower in the grass, that looked like plastic and proved to be real when I touched it...

Those examples are not from the book. The book inspired me to start my own list. The effect is stunning. When you’re miserable, thoughts and feelings tend to get hooked on the event that caused the distress. You can almost loose your sense of joy. You know about the good things in life, but emotionally, you can’t connect to them. Writing helps to establish the missing link.

Keeping a record of these sparks of everyday happiness has yet another effect: it trains you to recognize them. They happen unexpectedly, they’re often very small things, easily overlooked and quickly forgotten. Learning to see them is like a practice regime, and, as we know as musicians, you get better through practice.

And if everything fails, you can still have a ham sandwich...

Some Things to be happy about:

It's a teapot! Seen at a second hand storeEine Teekanne! Gesehen im Gebrauchtwarenladen.