Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

September 8 - the worst day of our lives. One year has passed.. today is the day we found out our sweet boy was gone. I spent the entire day, trying to get a good movement. I just thought he was slowing down, getting ready for his birth.. sadly that was not the case. After spending the day willing him to move, we went to the hospital.. I wasn't even nervous until we arrived there. I just KNEW he was okay, after all, if your baby dies inside of you, it's something you'd know, right? At the same time, I look back and feel like I already knew he was gone. I just didn't want to find out that it was really true. This week has been difficult for me, retracing the last moments with my boy.. not knowing for certain when the last moments were.. but guessing that he died on the 6th, and was gone for 2 days before we found out. Nothing helps the fact that he's gone, it doesn't matter what day, or time - none of that will bring him back. We miss him all the time though.. all the time.

September 9 - Well, here we are. Dresden's first birthday. Instead of preparing our house for a big ole party, I'm trying to think of a special dessert to make to honor our sweet baby boy. Shaun says it has to be something that we only make for HIS birthday.. i'm thinking something with apples. I really can't believe it's been a year. I miss him so terribly, I wouldn't be able to explain it, if I tried. I have no perfect words for this day.. I still long for you my sweet boy, I always will. Time may make things easier, but there are some things that never heal.. like the hole in my heart that went with you when you left us. I sure wish I was watching you dig into a birthday cake today and not writing this post. Happy first birthday sweet one. Your family loves you and misses you all the time.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Delaney is seriously amazing!! Our whole family is just smitten with her.. including big sister Gwen, who tells everyone who comes over all about her little sister Delaney. She also runs into the room if Delaney is crying, usually telling us that she needs nummies! ;) So far, the girl takes after the rest of her family and looves to sleep - and so far, in her first two nights has woken around midnight and fussed until falling back into a full sleep around 3 or 4! Nursing is going well.. my milk is coming in a lot faster this time. I'm recovering nicely from the cesarean... even made some no bake cookies this morning! I needed something with lots of oats, to help boost the milk! MMM! Delaney is snugging up with her daddy right now, which he adores!! We're so happy that she's here, and that we're home!! Thank you everyone for your well wishes and for caring about our family. Here are a few pictures, since people have been asking!! There will be more soon.. for now we relax! :)