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Friday, September 21, 2012

I have a new last name. I'm still getting used to it - Jimi asked me if I'd been practicing my new signature, and surprisingly, no, I haven't. I was just as shocked as you are. Sure, I've scrawled my new name on a notebook cover or two in the last few years, but leading up to the actual gettin'-married day, I didn't. Not even once. I haven't had a chance to sign it yet, or been called "Mrs. Fowler" by anyone other than teasing family/friends. It'll hit me eventually.

I've been waiting for days now to feel different, to feel some shift in this dynamic between myself and my new husband. (I do love using that word.) It's all the same. Everything feels just as it did this time last week. I guess that's how it goes when you "date" your intended for nearly 6 years. We've spent years building this love, this safe place for our hearts - of course a legal document won't change that.

I love watching Jimi play with his wedding band. I catch him twisting it on his finger, or just looking at it and smiling. He's never worn a ring - I'm glad that mine is the one that finally found a home on his hand.

Vacation/Honeymoon was fantabulous and wonderful and peaceful and centering and gave us a chance to focus on each other without the distractions of the rest of the world. (I get lost in the internet, he gets lost in the television - it was nice to spend a week mostly without those time-suckers.)

I've got every intention of writing a more-detailed post about our trip...for now I just wanted to record my happy. I love that man with every fiber of my being, and becoming his wife has made me the happiest girl in the whole wide world. How fucking lucky am I?!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Oh my goodness, I swear I didn't fall off the face of the Earth. My computer may as well have, though - it came down with the blue screen of death and I just haven't made it a priority yet to figure out if it can be saved, so it's living in the closet and my brain is too fast for the bullshit "keyboard" on the Kindle. Sorry.

Everything's awesome. Baby is now 4.5 inches long (or about the size of an avocado). There's other stuff, too, but I don't remember right now. (I'm at work. Trying to take a lunch, but failing miserably because apparently when I say "I don't want to take any phone calls for the next 15 minutes" it sends a signal to my drivers to begin calling me back to back. GRR!) But yeah, baby's good. I haven't felt anything that is obviously movement, but I've felt things that were probably baby movement, like a gas bubble that never led to a fart.

Jimi and I have our wedding bands ordered - they're being custom made and should be here in a week. (we ordered them a week ago.) Momma and I went shopping this past weekend and I found a dress that doesn't make me feel fat - which is quite the accomplishment, as I look today very much like I did before I started on my boot camp kick. I'm not obviously pregnant, I look like I've had a bit too much cake. Which I probably have. Oh well, there will be more boot camp after the baby comes. For now, I like eating.

I've paid money for two birth-prep books, made out of real paper and everything. (As opposed to the electronic sort that I can borrow for free on my Kindle.) This is a sign, folks - a sign that this thing is really going to happen. I'm so excited!

I've had it in my head that if I could just get to 16 weeks, it would all really be real. It's really real. It's happening. Whoa. I'm just as mind-blown as the day that stick first showed two lines.