hello ground control

Today was a darker day for me. Even though I taught a couple students online earlier in the day then enjoyed a video call with my cousin and her husband later in the evening, the day weighed heavier than other days.

It’s the million little things that is finally starting to make me sad sitting here in my “spaceship of solitude”. I didn’t realize I would miss grocery shopping. And driving my car to do errands. I’m fortunate to live in a city where I can make a shopping list on an app and someone will deliver everything at my door. But in bringing it inside my home, there’s almost a sense that I’m handling radioactive material or that I need to diffuse a bomb.

It’s food for goodness sake! Broccoli, a frozen pizza, a squash!

And an unfamiliar squash it was. It looked different from the thumbnail. It was tiny in the picture and came home as a pumpkin monster. I need to cut it up and share it with my neighbors.

Normally, I’m happy to experiment with recipes but my left ear has been bothering me for several days as if adjusting to altitude. After finally getting groceries in, I didn’t feel like cooking. I was feeling more delicate than usual.

And well, you know, the world is in a funny place right now. The WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

I’m fortunate to suffer my sheltering solitude in America. In reading blogs from writers in other countries, I learn that there are people who don’t have the same comforts and conveniences. They are not online with their friends sharing their pets, their favorite recipes or singing a song. I don’t think they fret details about politics, the economy, or even the ever evolving data on the coronavirus. They just wonder when life will find its rhythm again.

Despite my worries about the pandemic, I’m mostly optimistic that everything will be better after all the upset. Society needed a reset. The world is getting a major REBOOT. We’ve been hypnotized by the old ways and it was chipping away our humanity; eroding our spirit. Putting that old world away will hurt but the pain will pass. It’s different now. We are not invisible to one another. But we are still learning how to see one another.

I hope that from this dark and uncertain time, we will all feel reinvigorated and renewed. Today, was a heavy and sad day for me. I hope I feel better when I wake up tomorrow. What day will it be? Oh yes, Saturday.