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The Sunday Series (56), with Mark Brodinsky

Sometimes life just stops, or so it seems. One day you feel like a million bucks, with your life in flow and balance, and the next you are scared to death. It’s a fact of life, every 24 hours the world turns over on someone who used to be on top of it. When that happens, where do you go? How do you face your new reality? Can your life really be transformed in the balance?

This is The Sunday Series.

The Sunday Series (56): Radio Silence

A voice gone silent, but not because of an inability to speak. Even though there was that one day when words seemed impossible to find. For Maria Dennis, a popular radio personality in Baltimore for nearly two decades, it was the day she turned off the microphone and turned on a more powerful force – her will to live, a battle to survive.

On March 12th of last year the music of Maria’s life changed its tune, the signal now being emitted was one of shock, sadness and disbelief. “We believe you have leukemia”, were the words spoken by Maria’s good friend, Dr. Will Zirkin at GBMC hospital. Maria was in denial, “are you sure?” But in any life there is the way you think things should go and then there is the sometimes stark, cold reality…yes, the tests showed Maria Dennis had acute lymphoblastic leukemia, one which normally targets children, but for this adult a childhood disease was her new reality.

Yet in the midst of reality there was clarity, there was courage, there was a change of heart, one which may only come about because of a moment of crisis, a life-and-death struggle which can manifest a new perspective. Health wasn’t the only thing about to change for Maria. She would be coming home.

As it turns out the leukemia diagnosis was two weeks away from a divorce agreement being signed by Maria and her husband Eddie, but the illness brought reconciliation. It turned out the problems in the marriage which at one time seemed insurmountable, when looked at more closely, and under the microscope of a cancer diagnosis, were simply the hills and valleys of any relationship. “It was a slew of little problems that added up to a mountain and we dissected each of them one by one and decided that together we can overcome. Let’s put aside our different parenting styles and meet in the middle somewhere. It’s worth it, we need to be together because I only had a 50% chance of survival. The s*%t hit the fAN and we now really knew what life is all about… we have two boys and they were super excited about us getting back together.”

Intense chemotherapy treatment began at Johns Hopkins Hospital on Saint Patrick’s Day 2014. Thirty days of the poison being pumped into her body, a process to actually knock out Maria’s entire bone marrow. On top of the diagnosis of the leukemia, Maria also had Philadelphia chromosome, a reciprocal translocation of chromosomes which can lead to complications at any time. The bottom line was despite any success to defeat the leukemia the cancer could one day recur in Maria’s brain. She just never knows when.

The positive news was a match for a bone marrow transplant was found right away, in fact three matches, on the worldwide bone marrow registry. The team of doctors at Johns Hopkins selected the best match and on June 26th Maria underwent a bone marrow transplant — and the trouble shortly began. Her body started rejecting it, beginning a seemingly never-ending roller coaster ride of hospital stays, and high-grade fevers. Maria says between the initial round of chemotherapy treatment in March, to the time she finally felt better in August, she was in and out of the hospital constantly except for maybe two weeks. “It was terrible, really, really terrible”, she says. I lost 30 pounds, my hair, my eyelashes, it was bad.”

The complications included something called graft-versus-host disease, which reared its ugly head about three weeks after the transplant was complete. The new transplanted cells were attacking her body. The attack caused Maria to develop a rash from her neck to her toes. The rash caused severe, painful itching. She was re-hospitalized, given intense Prednisone treatments and another new drug. Maria faced the intense complications for three months. She says the doctors told her a little bit of the disease is a good thing because your body is recognizing what is happening and is reacting to it. But she says, “the way I got it was so severe I almost had to go through light therapy treatments. I was still being treated for it six months after the transplant, even though my symptoms went away at three months. I have to be careful about being out in the sun – it can be deadly. There have been so many setbacks on this journey and that was a big one. I never thought it, (the transplant), wasn’t going to work, but if there was a complication I got it. It just sucked.”

Despite setback after setback, Maria has greatly improved, enough to be defined as cancer-free. “But even to this day I don’t totally celebrate cancer-free”, she says. And it is the “feelings” of each day which seem to present a daily reminder of how her life has been transformed.

“I don’t feel like myself and I feel like I had a bone marrow transplant.” I asked Maria to expand on that comment – what does that mean? “No one ever asked me that question”, she said. “It’s interesting. I guess it means there are certain times of the day I get a hot flash and I’m not in menopause, it’s the different medications I’m taking and the side effects. I feel my skin at certain parts of the day. Normally you go through the day and you don’t feel your skin, but I do. I feel the hair on my head, never felt it before unless I actually touched it. I just feel things. Also there is something I can’t feel well – my feet. I have severe neuropathy in my feet, I can’t feel them and I fall all the time. It’s just certain things that make me feel like I’m not myself.”

Now the treatment for Maria consists of chemotherapy pills – twice a day – which interferes with her stomach and digestive system and really makes her nauseous, so there are other pills to fight the side effects. It’s a cycle which is expected to continue the rest of her life.

But while life will undoubtedly throw you a curve now and then – sometimes even a hairpin turn – the goal is to hold onto the wheel as tight at possible, navigate the sharp bend and come out on the other side. For Maria – getting her family back – and a new shift on the radio is just the medicine she has needed to get through all of this.

For about a year before her diagnosis Maria was doing the morning drive-time radio show on Mix 106.5 in Baltimore, from 5:30am to 10am. And just last month, she was invited to return to that morning show, once she was well enough to do so, but her doctor told her it was a bad move. The doctor said the 3:30am wake-up call necessary to work that shift was not in her best interest, especially with her health status still borderline…white blood cell counts not even in the low-normal range, and platelets and red blood cells still on the low-end of normal.

Instead Maria opted for the mid-morning gig, 10am-2pm. It has been a blessing in disguise. “Now I can wake up with the kids and take them to school — it’s a really big deal”, Maria says. “I loved the mornings, but the hours are brutal. I can take the kids to school and pick them up and be there in the afternoon to help them with homework. Her boys, 8 and 10, are thrilled to have Mom back home and in the game.

And then there is gratitude. A ton of gratitude especially for all of the support she received during her most difficult periods. “Oh my God, it was overwhelming”, Maria says. “Thousands of e-mails and texts to people who listen to me every day. My mom is one of ten children, so I am inundated with people reaching out. It was so nice. My Aunt Sarah who lives in Connecticut, wrote me a letter every day while I was in treatment. My relatives and friends had their churches and synagogues praying for me. I had prayer circles everywhere and anywhere from Florida to Connecticut. The sheer numbers of people praying for me, it totally helped.”

Maria and fellow leukemia survivor Jenn Aparicio

And so what is the lesson learned? What message do you share with others when you face and defeat the demon of a health challenge that threatens your very existence and your family’s future? Maria says, “you just never know, so you have to live every single day like its your last. I used to say this all the time to people when we would host radio-thons for the Johns Hopkins Children Center, but I never thought I would be taking my own advice. I knew it was true, now I really know it’s true. Never take family or friends for granted, because they could be gone tomorrow.”

“Gratitude was a big word in my life, but now it has an even greater presence.” I am grateful for my family, friends and the wonderful people at Hopkins who saved my life…and my bone marrow donor.” It’s the unknown donor who has given Maria a new lease on life, in March of this year she will have the ability to learn where the donor came from. A day Maria is looking forward to.

It’s the new normal for this popular Baltimore personality – the radio silence that lasted for nearly a year is history with Maria back on the air full time. Her listeners, fans, friends and family are thrilled.

And what about the future? “The road ahead looks cancer-free”, Maria says. And who knows, whatever God has in store for me.”

Thanks Mark, and thanks Maria. Its tough to share such personal aspects of one’s life with separation and family matters and how they relate to a cancer diagnosis. I appreciate the sharing on a deeply personal level, and let’s all learn to savor each and every day we have. Love to you BOTH! You each given me strength.

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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

Connect with Mark!

WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17September 24, 2013

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné PallaceSeptember 24, 2013

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. RiecksNovember 4, 2013

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109October 23, 2013

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. BogashSeven Valleys, PA

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

PattiMSeptember 25, 2013

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

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