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Wednesday, 4 May 2016

“In their defense”: a cover for PRIDE and SHAME

so apparently, even bloggers encounter writer's block...
any form of cohesive writing would i suppose...
i'm just surprised i guess,
considering that my posts are supposed to be about "miss rondo's" life and times
is it not just to relay them to you her ardent readers...
what's so difficult about that...

i guess i'm finding out...

and so...today's post is something i published a couple of years ago...

still about "miss rondo"... (though then the alter ego was still locked away in the proverbial closet)
its intriguing to me tho, how the essence of her personality hasn't changed over the years

so you should still enjoy this post as you would all others more recent
i certainly enjoy how i looked then (not so much fat!)

mnwhile...i'll keep working on this writer's block nonsense...
as i listen to my track on constant replay (of course)

So..,

Rondo (not real name) was talking to Taati (again, not real name…duh) the other day.

Taati and Rondo met thru a mutual friend; so their interactions always included (or better put revolved around) a “third party”. Rondo like(d) Taati though; she consider(ed) him a coolie… so it was not a chore to socialize with him (as is usually the case for her with other fof’s).

Still, because he is only her friend by extension, she maintain(ed) a certain degree of reservation…not enough to be obvious and awkward, but definitely and decidedly decorous. Neway…enough about Rondo and Taati (this note is NOT about them [per se])…so, let’s move on…

Recently (or not so recently actually) though, Taati and said third party had a falling out. Falling out in which Rondo played a referee role (of some sort). Unfortunately, a reconciliation was not achieved at that time…(I don’t know wot they were thinking consulting Rondo as a mediator neway…she’s too much of an agitator and prosecutor in my opinion)….neway… So that happened, with the result that Rondo now had 2 friends who didn’t care for each other very much. A difficult situation to be in I can assure you. Still, Rondo always let Taati know…her alliance lay primarily with their mutual “friend”… ‘and that wasn’t going to change’.

Neway, subsequently, Taati tried to repair said estranged relationship and enlisted Rondo’s help to so do. And she willingly obliged him. Not only because he had become a friend in his own right (and thus was entitled to -as she saw it - her help), but also cos she thought it was a shame that such a friendship to which she herself aspired had met (what she considered to be) an untimely end. Surely, it was a moral obligation to be charitable in the pursuit of a good cause. (it is isn’t it?)

And charitable she was…a conspiracy plan was hatched and executed…but it STILL didn’t work! There was really nothing else to be said for it…it was time to accept the demise of the friendship. But all this is STILL not the point of this note!

So…like I said…Rondo was talking to Taati…

And they were comparing notes…she about a recent “break-up” and he abt their mutual friend. While talking, both would make reference to an occurrence, and immediately, one, affronted on behalf of the other would express chagrin or even outrage…declaring “you’re definitely better off without this relationship” with the unspoken thot being “how did u manage to consort with that kind of “prick” for so long” (at least on Taati’s part :D) and midway thru (wot turned out to be an approximately three and a half hour international phone call…so I was told :D) conversation, Rondo realized both of them (as plaintiff) had repeated this phrase a number of times:

“in her/his defense”

Now, since the phrase may not make any meaning to you (as it shouldn’t), let me expatiate:

Imagine you and another person have a misunderstanding that u’re reporting to a third party. And while u feel aggrieved at the person’s actions, you want to be fair in your report of the matter, not so much because u’re a good person (tho most wld like to imagine that’s the reason…yinmu), but because u want this third party, (knowing all[or at least some of] the details as u experienced them) to objectively and really (my dad pronounces this as ree-ali btw :D) decide in your favor.

So while painting the scenario of said committed crime, u find urself using words like…“in his defense”…or…“in fairness to her”…even tho u are the plaintiff.

Why do we defend people who have hurt us (especially emotionally) to others…why “defend” them or be “fair” in relaying our grievances to others?

It’s simple…PRIDE and SHAME

You certainly have to defend the boyfriend u’re in love with, the one who everyone knows is a prick and treats u like shit (sorry guys, the author is a girl…wot do u xpect?). That the fine babe u lavish all that attn. on is bitchy to all ur friends, and yes, even u? (satisfied? :P). Because if you admit he’s a prick to everyone…what does that say about you when u don’t do away with the relationship?

That u’re a glutton for punishment? Or a sucker for (choke) love...that would be shameful!...No one wants ne1 to think of them as a maga…so u insist (in that pitiful whiny voice)… “it’s because u don’t see/know him/her the way I do”…“(s)he’s actually a very nice person” (gag!)

That you made an error in judgment, and he wasn’t really what u thot?...your pride won’t let u admit that either…mayb even to urself. After all…u cldnt have made such a mistake…impossible…

So it’s just better…to give them the benefit of the doubt… “it’s not him/her…it’s me” (rme)… “I’m as much @ fault ree-ali” (scorn)…