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Complaining About the ‘Friend Zone’ Perpetuates Rape Culture

Editors Note: While this video discusses the relationships between men and women, Everyday Feminism also recognizes the relationships between queer and non-binary people. Patriarchy and rape culture is not exclusive to heterosexual dynamics and cisgender people.

Generations of feminist thought, writing, and performance have and continue to deconstruct the ways patriarchy, misogyny, and sexism teach us that people perceived as women solely exist to appease male desire and consumption. Despite this, so many people persist in creating gnarly ways to validate their acts of rape culture and sexual assault.

This form of violence is currently manifesting in the form of “sensitive, good-hearted” people complaining about being placed into the friend zone. In reality, these are people who believe they are entitled to sex and/or romance with the person of their desire, regardless of that person’s mutual interest or consent.

Being angry with someone’s boundaries reveals an attitude of sexual entitlement and a lack of respect synonymous with rape culture, which is unacceptable.

With Love, The Editors at Everyday Feminism

Click for the Transcript

JUSTIN LAMB: For the so called nice guys who complain about being placed in the friend zone.

DESIREE DALLAGIACOMO: Shut up.

JUSTIN: Zip it.

BOTH: Close your mouth.

JUSTIN: We’re sick of you playing the part of compassionate listener around female friends.

DESIREE: Only to whine when your benevolence fails to result in booty.

Desireé Dallagiacomo ranked 3rd at The 2014 Individual World Poetry Slam and 3rd at The 2014 National Poetry Slam. She is a student at the University of New Orleans where she studies women & gender as well as creative writing. Her work, and more info about her, can be found at poemsbydes.tumblr.com.

Justin Lamb is an educator, writer and National Poetry Slam champion. Originally from Connecticut, Justin resides in New Orleans, where he has competed as a member of the nationally acclaimed Team Slam New Orleans (Team SNO) for the past four years. You can find him on Twitter @justalamb or his website.