January 14, 2010

I’ve been reading some of the posts on here, and was inspired to share my story.

Around six years ago, I found myself in the clutch of video game addiction. I was a young man, had an awesome girlfriend, had a mediocre job, and came from a close family. Nothing seemed to be out of place, and at the time I didn’t think that I had ANY problems. My thoughts concerning playing excessive amounts of video games were like the thoughts of most of the addicted husbands and boyfriends mentioned on this forum… “I’m escaping, I need time for myself, It relaxes me, it’s better than being at a bar… blah blah blah”. I know right?

The name of the beast was Playstation 2. It wasn’t necessarily an online game, and I wasn’t playing to the extent of some of the horror stories I’ve read here, but it was a problem in my relationship with my girlfriend and family nonetheless. One day my girlfriend spoke to me seriously about me playing games so much. She told me she was concerned about me playing so much, and felt neglected by me. I kind of brushed her off about it, and I excused myself from there being anything wrong with what I was doing. If anything it actually reinforced my reasons and determination for playing (I saw that my girlfriend was un-supportive and too needy)… but the contrary was true. A few days later my mother called me to come over. I went over and my girlfriend was there, and I guess we had a sort of a mini intervention. We all talked, I listened.

“My girlfriend had to go to the extreme of involving my mom”? (This was important)

This made me see that there’s consequences to everything you do, YES, even playing video games.

It was then I realized that I was replacing life itself with video games, I was spending more time with fake digital characters, and computerized violence than my girlfriend whom I (supposedly) loved. I saw the tears in her eyes and longing in her face to have me (the person who neglected her for so long) back. The very next morning I got up early and got rid everything video game related in my possession, and good riddance. It was a defining moment in my life. I was determined then to be a real man, and stop acting like a spoiled selfish teenager.

I thank GOD today that I went on to marry that wonderful woman. I can say that I am truly happy, and have a successful marriage and career. I’ve also gotten a REAL hobby.

I also thank my wife for not giving up on me, she makes me more than I really am.

My suggestions to you significant others in these video game triangle relationships is this…

- Love conquers all, share your feelings with your mate, be patient, be brave, and be strong (we need help).
- Get a third party involved if possible, to be a mediator in the discussion of the problem. let it be someone that you both respect and has an understanding of the situation.

- Present them a clear list of choices or consequences that they will experience if their behavior doesn’t change.
- Follow through.. If you present an “ultimatum” be ready to back up what you’ve said you will do. This is worst case scenario, but if the person chooses an imaginary life rather than a real one with you… what can you do but make sure can take care of yourself (and your children).