my sister and the shoes

my daughter's birthday was in December. my sister is notoriously behind on birthdays and so on, so about 2 weeks ago she sent her a birthday card and some money. today after school my SO took DD out to spend her birthday money. she picked out a pair of shoes and a couple books (my child is a little on the strange side). SO posted a picture on FB with the caption "thanks aunt c!"

my sister commented "did she spend my money on those shoes?"
SO was like "yup. little fashion diva"
my sister was like "I don't like them."
I was like "aw they're cute"

the shoes are grey high tops with leopard print. very seven year old.

I get a PM from my sister: "no seriously...I can't believe that your SO let her buy those. they're really ugly and that's not what I wanted her to spend my birthday money on. take them back."
I send one back: "dude, no. you didn't tell us what to spend it on and that's what she wanted. she literally put them on after her bath. she's obsessed."
I get a reply: "then I want my money back, if you're going to buy her tacky shit do it with your own money."

is this really a big deal? they're shoes, ffs. should I send her the money or tell her to shut it? why didn't she buy dd a birthday present if she wanted something specific?

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Cady mom to Brittany Shaylene born on Christmas Day 2005 & Casey Graham and Charlotte Amelia born August 13 2013.

Comments (125)

I would not send her money and refuse future gifts. I think if you send money to her, it's only for you to feel self righteous. Thats a fine reason, no problem with it, but you can feel self righteous AND keep the money in this case.

Really, I would ignore her. It's just plain stupid and doesn't deserve any more of your attention. When she brings it up, you respond with 'we'll, sis, that request was really ridiculous. You want to send specific stuff, that's on you. You wanna be a bitch, you probably won't hear from us much.'

I love how much DD loves books. I can bribe her to do pretty much anything for a new book. Makes me so proud!

I'm still on the fence about sending the money back. The shoes were a little on the expensive side. Maybe I'm being tacky but the cost of the shoes is a lot of money for us (not so much for my sister) and the money itself WAS the gift...I think I need to sleep on it.

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Cady mom to Brittany Shaylene born on Christmas Day 2005 & Casey Graham and Charlotte Amelia born August 13 2013.

I don' t think it matters much whether you send the money back or not. IMO a nice long TO and never taking gifts from her again is what will have the lasting effect of showing sis you're not going to put up with this kind of BS anymore.

Has your sister always been such a bitch?! What an incredibly wench-y thing to do. I would NOT send her any money back. A gift is a gift. If she was so concerned with what was going to be bought, she should have gotten off her ass and picked something out for her.

I also want to add that I think leopard is adorable. And I would totally buy my DD leopard high tops.

You should have your DD make a homemade thank you card with a pair of leopard shoes on the front.

Don't send if back. That is your dd gift. It was her money and she spent it how she wanted. She's happy that was the point in the gift is so she could get something she wanted. I would tell her you won't give her the money back because it was dd to spend as she pleased once she gave It to her and that from now on Dont worry about gifts because hers aren't welcome.