Cutting the cord

Julia HockenberryBoys & Girls Club

Published: Thursday, July 25, 2013 at 11:11 a.m.

Last Modified: Thursday, July 25, 2013 at 11:11 a.m.

Consider, for a moment, the bellybutton. The umbilicus. The navel. At the local swimming pool the other day, I did, as all manner of innies and outies winked over waistbands. It made me start to think.

The bellybutton is actually a tiny scar created at birth by the physical separation of mother and child. This reminder of our most original, perfect support system marks us for life. As adults, we stop noticing these innocuous little dimples. Over time, what was once an expertly engineered life portal dissolves into a glorifi ed divet in the landscape of the torso.

This connection has the singular purpose of growing us to the point of surviving on the outside, preparing us for that thrilling moment of separation when our lifelines become obsolete. Ready or not, our bodies inherently know when it is time to become independent.

It could be said that this rite of passage continues as we grow. A gentler separation occurs with milestones — first steps, first day of kindergarten, learning to drive, first paycheck, high school graduation — until we transform into our developed, independent, grown-up selves.

Ultimately the bellybutton might be the only way to prove our vulnerable origins and remind us of what our truest and most fundamental needs really are.

Late summer at the Boys & Girls Club of Henderson County is always bittersweet for us, as we say goodbye to graduating members leaving our nest to venture into the sky. Ready or not, it is their thrilling moment of separation.

The good news is that they are ready indeed. Just ask Luis, who is heading to UNC Chapel Hill to study public health in a matter of days.

“I’m excited to go, but I will miss this place. The club became my special home,” he said. “I loved every minute I spent here because I didn’t have to worry about anything. I always tell younger members not to take this place for granted. If they invest in it, it will help them out so much in the end.”

As an organization, this is our perfect purpose: to provide the best nest that we can, to nourish and support, to help hundreds of kids grow up each year to be able to thrive on the outside as productive, responsible, caring citizens.

What do we believe kids need to rise to this challenge? Caring, consistent adults. Accessible, relevant programs to help them succeed in school, stay healthy and fit and make positive personal decisions.

As an organization, it is also our eventual responsibility to cut the cord. In fact, nothing demonstrates the success of our system more than what happens once it ends.

“I’m ready,” beams 18-year old Diamond, who is pursuing an art degree with hopes to one day work with underprivileged youth, incorporating art into their lives. “I discovered who I am because of the club. It influenced me tremendously. I’ve gained self-esteem and broken out of my shell here.”

Being at the Boys & Girls Club is illuminating. As staff members, we have front-row seats to some of the greatest hurdles of growing up. But one of the privileges of our perspective is watching kids succeed. We credit their accomplishments to this early connection, this lifeline that marks us and shapes us as we grow into our best selves.

Please pardon my peculiar tenderness towards bellybuttons, these obscure polka dots of human anatomy. They remind me of our vulnerabilities, the source of our strength and the importance of the connection to our foundation. They are little badges of courage we wear just below our beltlines.

<p>Consider, for a moment, the bellybutton. The umbilicus. The navel. At the local swimming pool the other day, I did, as all manner of innies and outies winked over waistbands. It made me start to think.</p><p>The bellybutton is actually a tiny scar created at birth by the physical separation of mother and child. This reminder of our most original, perfect support system marks us for life. As adults, we stop noticing these innocuous little dimples. Over time, what was once an expertly engineered life portal dissolves into a glorifi ed divet in the landscape of the torso.</p><p>This connection has the singular purpose of growing us to the point of surviving on the outside, preparing us for that thrilling moment of separation when our lifelines become obsolete. Ready or not, our bodies inherently know when it is time to become independent.</p><p>It could be said that this rite of passage continues as we grow. A gentler separation occurs with milestones — first steps, first day of kindergarten, learning to drive, first paycheck, high school graduation — until we transform into our developed, independent, grown-up selves.</p><p>Ultimately the bellybutton might be the only way to prove our vulnerable origins and remind us of what our truest and most fundamental needs really are.</p><p>Late summer at the Boys & Girls Club of Henderson County is always bittersweet for us, as we say goodbye to graduating members leaving our nest to venture into the sky. Ready or not, it is their thrilling moment of separation.</p><p>The good news is that they are ready indeed. Just ask Luis, who is heading to UNC Chapel Hill to study public health in a matter of days.</p><p>“I'm excited to go, but I will miss this place. The club became my special home,” he said. “I loved every minute I spent here because I didn't have to worry about anything. I always tell younger members not to take this place for granted. If they invest in it, it will help them out so much in the end.”</p><p>As an organization, this is our perfect purpose: to provide the best nest that we can, to nourish and support, to help hundreds of kids grow up each year to be able to thrive on the outside as productive, responsible, caring citizens.</p><p>What do we believe kids need to rise to this challenge? Caring, consistent adults. Accessible, relevant programs to help them succeed in school, stay healthy and fit and make positive personal decisions.</p><p>As an organization, it is also our eventual responsibility to cut the cord. In fact, nothing demonstrates the success of our system more than what happens once it ends.</p><p>“I'm ready,” beams 18-year old Diamond, who is pursuing an art degree with hopes to one day work with underprivileged youth, incorporating art into their lives. “I discovered who I am because of the club. It influenced me tremendously. I've gained self-esteem and broken out of my shell here.”</p><p>Being at the Boys & Girls Club is illuminating. As staff members, we have front-row seats to some of the greatest hurdles of growing up. But one of the privileges of our perspective is watching kids succeed. We credit their accomplishments to this early connection, this lifeline that marks us and shapes us as we grow into our best selves.</p><p>Please pardon my peculiar tenderness towards bellybuttons, these obscure polka dots of human anatomy. They remind me of our vulnerabilities, the source of our strength and the importance of the connection to our foundation. They are little badges of courage we wear just below our beltlines.</p>