I Am A Little Pencil

“I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.” Mother Teresa

I’ve taken a long extended break from WordPress but have continued to write in my journal – three pages, every day.

After writing, I feel a need to simply be still, for a while, and have found this to be a good time to read a book called Spiritual Literacy – Reading the Sacred in Everyday Life by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat. It’s a book that’s been around for awhile; copyright 1996, but I have carried it with me, with good intentions, and now seems to be the right time to savor the words.

So there I was, reading for a bit, after writing in my journal and up crops this quote. This is one of those quotes that jumped out at me and I knew I would have to write about it further. One of the reasons that I stopped sharing in this blog was exactly this. I had come to feel as though God had picked up my pencil. I was being guided through thoughts and feelings too personal to share. Too many things happening too fast. I couldn’t process it all. I was being told that I was stronger than I believed, that I had to let go, lead each day with gratitude, believe in my creativity, intuition, and most importantly, believe in the messages. For some time, my journal entries were assisted with “Spirit Guide” Cards by Steven Farmer, as well. Every day – shuffle the deck of Spirit Animal cards and pick number 14. Why 14? That’s just what I seemed directed to do. Every day; number 14. Every day, the message was different but it always seemed to fit me that day.

Today, I felt as though it was time to shuffle the Earth Magic cards instead. I use this deck of cards only when I feel as though I am going through a transition. This deck gets shuffled. I count to number 14 and pull that card. That will stand for my Past. I keep counting out another 14. This one will be my Present. And finally, another 14 and this will represent my Future. For some reason, today was the day to do this.

My Past: Forest (Breathe)

This one caught me by surprise. It was so perfect. I have moved away from the home on the edge of a nature preserve. I would walk these trails every day, sometimes twice. I felt I had been brought to this very location for a reason. I needed a place where I could feel safe and I found it under the trees (the Standing Ones). I found gentleness and courage with the animals: deer, squirrels, chipmunks, turtles, and birds. And then, I saw the glorious beauty of the butterfly on flowers and I came to understand that this signified a time for a change. It was time for me to move on.

My Present – Crystals (Focus)

“Where your attention flows, your intention goes.” Since moving away from the woods and going through significant change within my family, I have struggled with the idea of allowing things to just be. I have needed to come back, again and again, to “Focus”. Focus on the moment. Focus on gratitude, Focus on positive energy. It has been hard, hard work! That might be why this card presented itself upside down!

My Future – Mountain (Strength)

In the center of this frame is a photo I took from the side of a mountain in Sedona. At the time, I was sitting there alone and afraid. Now, I get a Mountain card as my future and it says “It makes no sense to deny the strength you have at the cost of allowing yourself to be reactive and subject to external influences far beyond what is healthy for you.”

It says that the current situation requires vigilance but not to the point of fear or paranoia. I am to imagine myself as “a mountain of strength, solidly grounded, head touching the sky.”

See, God speaks to me.

“I am a little pencil, in the hand of God who is sending a love letter to the world.”