I want this to be true, since I can't imagine a better use of Lars Von Trier's entire oeuvre: pornographic portions of the above trailer for his new film Nymph()maniacwere shown during the cartoon, Steamboat Willie, which was serving as filler while a Tampa, Florida theater was dealing with some technical problems in projecting Disney's Frozen.

"They put in the filler, it looked like Steamboat Willie, the old Mickey Mouse cartoon, and then all of a sudden it goes into this other scene," grandmother Lynn Greene told My Fox Tampa Bay. "It seemed like forever when you're trying to, you know, cover a little guy's eyes. I didn't have enough hands to cover his ears too and he got the sound down real good."

Although I share Film Drunk's skepticism, it's a truly beautiful idea.

As reported by several news outlets including the LA Times, Annette Funicello died earlier today (Monday April 8th) at the Mercy Southwest Hospital in Bakersfield. She was 70. 25 years ago Funicello had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

Funicello enjoyed major success in both the fifties and sixties, first as original Mousketeer star of television's The Mickey Mouse Club from when it premiered for several years, and in the latter decade as co-star of the phenomenally popular series of "beach movies" she made with Frankie Avalon. Above and below are a few video clips featuring Annette Funicello, including the trailer for 1964's Bikini Beach, a classic 50's clip from The Mickey Mouse Club featuring the Mousketeers that includes Annette looking back in a later decade, and Annette Funicello singing "Jamaican Ska" from 1987's Back To The Beach alongside Fishbone. In Back to the Beach, the grown-up Frankie and Annette go back to the SoCal beach to visit their daughter only to discover there's still fun to be had back on the beach. Also below is the trailer for the original "beach" movie (1963's Beach Party) that kick-started the popular sixties movie series.

Today and tomorrow mark the 57th opening day events anniversary of Disneyland. I can think of no better reason to decide that I will use cuss-words in the following blog – something I don’t normally do – so if that’s going to offend you, you should totally read this (assuming that you love to be offended which, let’s be frank you easily offended folks – you do).

The opening days went notoriously awry – drinking fountains didn’t work, rides broke down constantly, the young woman in the Minnie Mouse costume went mad and tried to fell the Swiss Family Robinson tree-house with a chainsaw while terrified children screamed from the branches, and it was such a hot day!

Ronald Reagan was there for opening day – it’s one of the only things he did that sits well with me. Rumor has it that he got his idea for “trickle-down economics” by watching how the natural flow of passengers organizing themselves to take turns riding on the Matterhorn fucked over the poor.

Did you know Doritos were invented at Disneyland? It’s true, and kind of weirds me out. And then it weirds me out that it weirds me out. I haven’t felt very stable lately.

June is Pride Month, celebrating the LGBTel-em-el-oh-pee community past, present and future.

Writing on the subject is intimidating, because as someone who identifies with one of the letters in LGBT, the issues of equal rights feel raw, impassioned and profound. I am not an unbiased voice on the matter.

Growing up queer was almost indescribably difficult, and so much of who I am today was shaped by the negativity I experienced, not merely “often” – self-hate, fear and crippled self-esteem made it scary and gross for me every waking moment; thinking I needed to hide and obfuscate my unwanted inclinations meant that many of those I loved were kept from helping me, or even fully knowing me, which made for a special kind of awful loneliness.

In nearly every aspect of my life I see how I’m still "recovering" from being queer. For example: growing up, sports and physical fitness seemed like a test of manliness; I was so terrified of failing (which, I feared, would subsequently shine a light on my queerness) that exercise and playing outdoor games became something scary and intimidating, which in turn affected my fitness habits for life. It’s only in the last decade that I could drum up the courage to start exercising. This may sound ridiculous, but it really does cut that deep – that jogging around the block isn’t just something to get my heart-rate up, but something I’ve had to push myself to do in spite of a fear of being targeted for some form of ridicule. That’s just one example – there’s many more, equally pathetic and utterly unnecessary.

Robert Sherman, half of the sibling songwriting team known as The Sherman Brothers, passed away in his London, England home, yesterday, at age 86.

His credits read like a beautiful memory encompassing an entire childhood. In addition to his film work, he and his brother wrote many of the famous songs played at Disneyland, including the (some say) most-played song of all time, "It's a Small World".