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Monday, 22 March 2010

Moonwalkers

They’re virtually in every place you can think of: the streets, malls, school grounds. No, they’re not Michael Jackson impersonators. Moonwalkers are able-bodied people who cause pedestrian traffic because of their slow walking pace. They are usually found in groups, at the center of the walkway and even if you say “excuse me”, they won’t step aside to let you pass. I used the term “moonwalkers” because of the Tagalog expression “Para kang naglalakad sa buwan” that refers to those who are walking slowly.

For the politically self righteous who are about to react negatively upon reading this, I’m already clarifying that sick, elderly, and disabled people aren’t included in this category. Please refer to the word “able-bodied” on my definition. Kthx.

When you are on the go or walk really big steps, moonwalkers can really get under your skin. And what can really push you to the edge is when you are in a hurry and you say excuse me, they just look at you and will not budge. Unfortunately for me who’s usually in a hurry and walk big steps, there are a lot of moonwalkers in the street where I live and in the street to my school. On my non-bitchy days, I just shrug my shoulders and just overtake. On my bitchy days, on the other hand, depending on the rate of my bitchiness, it’s either that I overtake and bump them on purpose or say excuse me again in a really nasty way until they let me pass.

A group of nursing students/moonwalkers got a taste of my classic bitchiness when I was walking on the way to school and are occupying the entire walkway. And they are walking rly slowly, yung tipong aabutin ng 48 years bago sila makarating sa pupuntahan nila. People are piling up behind them, excusing themselves but they kept going on with their slow pace. I can’t overtake because the only free space is the road. No can do, I’d die. So I said in an irritated voice “Pwede ba mga ineng, bilis-bilisan nyong lumakad. Nakaharang kayo sa dinadaanan ng iba dahil ambabagal ninyong lumakad. Hindi lang kayo ang dumadaan dito”. They looked back and saw that I wasn’t kidding so they stepped aside.

Call me a heinous bitch, I don't care. Excuse me for living, they don’t own the street and aren’t the only ones passing through so they should have the decency to make room for the other pedestrians. A rude awakening is needed to make them snap out of their slow paced world.

These people made me give a new meaning to the sentence, “Excuse me”. For me, it now means “Get the hell out of the way” when repeated the second time. I mean, srsly, it’s so annoying. That’s why I envy the streets of Japan. Aside from being squeaky clean, my sister told me that they have this “Yellow Lane” that is intended for people in a hurry and for the blind. And these people are allowed to bump those slow walkers who wandered off the “ordinary” lane.

Don’t tell me to live in Japan, I’m not comparing but instead, I want to give an example of peaceful co-existence between fast walkers and slow walkers that I wish we have here.