Rick Santorum's big wins in Missouri, Minnesota, and Colorado don't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but they do seem to have given his campaign a big financial boost. The campaign confirmed they raised $1 million in the 24 hours following his victories, and $800,000 of that came from online donations. That sure is a lot of money—not that much to a political campaign, sure, but think about how many birth control pills that could buy for Rick's imaginary uterus! Or how big a donation that would be to the NOH8 campaign or to Planned Parenthood. If only there was a way to ensure that the next time—if there even is a next time—Santorum wins anything, for every dollar that's donated to him an equal and opposite donation will be made to an organization that can help balance out his whackadoodle notions of what's right for this country.