(Many years before…)Ezekiel: Hey Henry, wanna play puzzles?Henry: Nah.Puzzles are for girls. I’m playing marbles instead.James: Yeah, Zeke. You’re just a boring old bloke!Ezekiel: You’re so mean, Henry! I’m gonna make you pay for that! In cash, or debit!

(Winter 2002)Charlie: Man it’s cold outside!All: How cold is it?Grizelda: So cold the picture of my father’s family fell and broke.Charlie: Yay! (snatches picture and looks at it)Little Girl: Mommy, Henry’s making faces again!Mother: Behave yourself, Henry.Henry: But mother, father’s doing it too!James: Yeah it’s fun!Grizelda: What did you hear, Charlie?Charlie: Hey, grandma, did you that there’s a new thing that’s sweeping the country? It’s called MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!! You should try it!!

(in Ezekiel’s office)Billy: Hey Ezekiel, your cousin’s here. Can I have some chocolate? Ezekiel: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! Oh no! Not my annoying cousin Henry!!! No!! Billy: (grabbing chocolate bars) What did he do?Ezekiel: He humiliated me!Billy: Like how Charlie and I rickroll’d Manfred last year?Ezekiel: Worse than that!!Billy: You’re weird!

(in the cafeteria)Olivia: No way! You mean to say your cousin…time-travelled?Charlie: Perhaps.Fidelio: But think about how much the time-space continuumthingie would be destroyed! Charlie: Yeah…about that.Billy: (shouting through a megaphone) ATTENTION EVERYONE: EZEKIEL FAINTED LAST NIGHT, SO CHOCOLATE BARS FOR EVERYONE!!! (pulls lever and chocolate bars fall on everyone’s heads)Students: YAY!! (they all rush out and grab chocolate)Manfred: Ok, act civilized, and remember: EVERYONE gets a chocolate bar! (snatches one from Asa) Man I love my job!Asa: Same here. We get to throw out chocolate bars at random.

(Henry in the freezer)Henry: Goodbye, Charlie, and thanks for the chocolate! See you later!Charlie: WAIT! I know of a better place for you to stay!Henry: Where?Charlie: (knocking atCook’s door) Uh, Cook? Sorry to bother you, but can Henry stay here for a while?Cook: Of course.

(the glove incident)Tancred: I DON’T FREAKING CARE WHO DID IT, BUT I WON’T BE COMING BACK HERE UNTIL THAT DAMNED SPIDER POSTER IS OFF THE WALL AND INTO THE TRASH BIN, WHERE IT BELONGS!!! (he leaves in a huff. a black glove is spotted)Gabriel: Oh boy! Exactly my size! (he slips it on and it crushes his hand) YAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! *censored words* MY HAND!!!!Dr. Bloor: Manfred William Vivian Bloor, you’re grounded until that glove comes off his hand!Manfred: But daaad…Dr. Bloor: I will have none of that, young man! Now get the glove off his hand or his parents will sue me!

(Meeting Mrs. Bloor)Gabriel: (continues to whine about his hand being stuck in the cursed glove)Charlie: Oh do cheer the hell up, fishface! (Gabriel slaps him) We’re almost there!Cook: (comes out of her room) Oh dear, what happened here?Gabriel: I saw this nice glove and I went to put it on, but it crushed my hand! (lets out a string of expletives)Cook: That’s enough, young man! Dorothy, I think someone found your lost glove!Dorothy: Really?Charlie: And Manfred got grounded.Dorothy: I heard him complain about it. Now, who has my glove? (she takes the glove off Gabriel’s hand)Gabriel: Thanks a lot!Charlie: But why are you here?Dorothy: It’s a long story…

(a stormy moment)Manfred: (aged 8) But mommy, don’t leave me!Dorothy: Manny, it’ll only be for a few months. I’ll be back real soon, ok?Dr. Bloor: You best be careful out there, Dorothy. Paris is a dangerous place.Dorothy: Don’t worry, Harold. I’ll be careful…(just then a door slams on her hand and it gets caught) AAAAAHHHHHH MY HAND!!!Dr. Bloor: DOROTHY!!!!Dorothy: But the worst part had yet to come…Ezekiel: There you go. Now your hand will be all better and then you can play music once again. (Dorothy screams her head off when she sees her shriveled hand) Ooooops, I mean to put in three slug tails instead of just two. Now she’ll never play again and Harold’s gonna get mad at me!Dorothy: Well, that’s the story. So as far as I’m concerned, Ezekiel has never forgiven himself for the mistake that cost me my playing hand.Charlie: I always knew he was a mean old man, but even then that mistake was a bit…inexcusable.Dorothy: I know. I fight with him when he says he can fix my hand. Because he’ll only make things worse.

(at home)Grizelda: So I heard Henry Yewbeam has showed up.Maisie: Grizelda! Charlie’s got an over-active imagination! That’s what happens when he gets sent to a horrible school run by a mean old man!Grizelda: No, I mean it, Maisie! My father never told me he had a brother.Charlie: But why?Grizelda: Because every time my sisters or I wanted to talk to him about Henry, my dad would shut down and ignore us unless we changed the subject.Benjamin: (to Charlie) Well, there goes our trip to the Thunder House.Charlie: Hey Uncle Paton, can you drive me to the Thunder House?Paton: Well I would, but I only go outside at night and I don’t think your grandmothers would forgive me if I took you out past your bedtime.Charlie: D’aaaawwwww!!!

(Henry at Bloor’s)Henry: I’m so bored I want to scream! (he sees Weedon fighting with a poster)Weedon: The nerve of that kid, hanging that poster up there; they should have given him detention! (sees Henry) What are you doing here?Henry: I was just going for a walk, sir.Weedon: Go back to where you came from and let me work.Henry: Awww man!Olivia: (noticing Henry) You’re Henry Yewbeam, aren’t you?Henry: Yeah.Olivia: Let’s get you outta here before Manfred finds you.Henry: Why??Olivia: Manfred is a jerk who will hurt you. Now let’s go!

(Charlie finds a painting)Grizelda: You better watch your back, Charlie.Lucretia: Yes, Charlie. Bad things happen to little boys who aren’t careful.Charlie: Safety is for sissies! I walk on the edge! I like to flirt with…DANGER!Venetia: Charlie…you wouldn’t dare! You don’t know what Ezekiel will do to you if he finds out that you’ve been in contact with Henry Yewbeam!Charlie: You know about him too?Paton: CHARLIE BONE, QUIT GOSSIPING WITH THOSE WITCHES AND GET IN HERE NOW!!!Charlie: Sure. What did you want with me?Paton: Two things: #1, if I get distracted, I don’t have as many accidents. Like watch this!(he switches on a light bulb and reads a book. the bulb doesn’t explode) Ta-da!Charlie: Yay!Paton: And #2, don’t touch anything my sisters give you…too dangerous.Charlie: Why?Paton: We don’t want anything happening to you, of course!

(The Pet’s Cafe)Charlie: Such an odd place for a restaurant, don’t you think?Gabriel: Well, this is a place where you can take your pets.Norton: Pet, kids? I keep ‘em, you take ‘em!Gabriel: Well, I have three hamsters and three people.Benjamin: Wait! I’m coming too!Norton: Right this way then, gentlemen.

(the painting)Charlie: Uh, Mom, the aunts left a painting for me.Amy: Whatever you do, DON’T go in it! It’s what they want!Skarpo: I see you!

(Henry meets Ezekiel)Henry: Hah! I knew you were still alive and kicking, Zeke! And didn’t I tell you that if you didn’t get out of your chair and get some fresh air, your legs will stop working?Ezekiel: Bah!Manfred: Well, great-grandpa, I can’t say you weren’t warned.Ezekiel: Waaaaahhhhh! Henry Yewbeam! You called me a sissy!Manfred: Just like when Charlie and Billy rickrolled me?Ezekiel: No! Being called a sissy was the worst thing that happened to me! He kicked my puzzle to the ground and said, “Come get me, you spoiled brat!” I decided to prank him! And then he came crawling back to taunt me a second time! Not happening!Henry: Oh please, Zeke! Your mother was a squirrel and your father smelled of cinnamon guts! Hahahahahaha!Ezekiel: That’s what I mean! Get rid of him NOW!!!

(the marble)Mr. Pilgrim: Gabriel, can you hold this, please?Gabriel: Sure. (Mrs. Bloor shows up)Dorothy: Gabriel, what do you have here?Gabriel: Don’t look at it!Dorothy: Of course. It’s too dangerous. May I see it? (she takes the marble from Gabriel)

(Welsh book)Maisie: Did you go see Paton?Grizelda: No. I’ve been too busy trying to off that Matthew McGuire.Amy: I can’t believe you! Have you no concern for your own brother?Grizelda: Are you two trying to insinuate that I don’t love Paton? You are severely mistaken!Charlie: (in his room) Welsh book, eh? Good. I’m all set then!

(Emma’s secret bird)Benjamin: A Tollroc?Emma: Yup. I’ve got a secret weapon. But what I’m going to do with it has yet to be determined.Charlie: Like what?Emma: Oh, you’ll see…

(Finding Henry)Olivia: How’d you get down here?Henry: A white-haired kid lured me out using a chocolate bar.Olivia: Uuuuuggggghhhh!!! Stupid Billy Raven, I knew that little demon was up to no good with all those chocolate bars! I’m giving that kid a spanking when I next see him!Zelda: You’d spank Billy Raven?Beth: You’re mean, Vertigo! All he wants is a family.Olivia: So what? He doesn’t deserve a family anyway!Zelda: That’s it! We’re messing you up! (just then the tollroc is seen) Eeeeeeeeeeeekkkkk!Beth: Run for it!! (thetollroc snatches them and flies off)Olivia: (to herself) Was that Emma? No. Seriously! Or was it?

(Charlie encounters Skarpo)Charlie: I’m going in, everyone!Olivia, Emma, Lysander, Gabriel, and Fidelio: OK. (Charlie goes into the painting. Skarpo sees him)Skarpo: And what are you asking for?Charlie: Can I have something that can…do magic, I guess?Skarpo: Oh, like this wand here? (spots wand)Charlie: Yup. Thanks! (he takes the wand and leaves)Skarpo: Hey, not that wand! That’s a Harry Potterreplica! Get back here!

(Tancred)Tancred: I hope that spider poster is gone.Mrs. Torsson: Oh, so this is what it’s about, hmmm?Mr. Torsson: I have half a mind to blow those Bloors into the next country, blast them! And Tancred, just think of a huge tree. The spider is much smaller than the tree. You’ll be safe with the tree around.Tancred: You’re right! I’m heading back to Bloor’s! They need me back there.Mr. Torsson: Good answer, Tanc.

(the big plan)Charlie: I stole the wand from Skarpo. I’ll use it to save Henry.Paton: Good idea, Charlie. Now, let me teach you the words.
—later on—Charlie: Well, looks like the gang’s all here! Ready?Fidelio: Yup.Emma: You guys be careful.Mr. Onimous: Right this way, you two. (he leads them down a secret passageway) Ok, you get your friend and bring him here. Unless there’s a problem, you bring him here. Got it?Charlie: Got it. C’mon Fidelio!

(rescuing Henry)Charlie: Henry?Henry: Charlie! I’m saved!Fidelio: Ok, Charlie, you know what to do…(Charlie waves his wand and the rock explodes)Charlie: Hah! I knew it wasn’t a fake!Henry: (jumping from his prison) FREEDOM!!!

(theescape)Dorothy: Time to go, Henry!Henry: But why? I wanted to scare off old Zeke one more time!Dorothy: No time, Henry! Let’s go before Manfred tries to stop me a second time!Henry: And how will you do that?Dorothy: (uncurling her crippled hand) THIS!!!Henry: Not the Time Twister!Dorothy: Goodbye, Henry, and tell Charlie that I know where his father went…(she disappears)Henry: Where? (thetollroc picks him up)Manfred: NOOOOOO!!!! MOMMY’S GONE!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!Henry: Mama’s boy.

(the trip home)Henry: I can’t believe after all these years I’m finally going home!Charlie: Yup. You’ll be safe and Old Ezekiel will never be bothering you again!Paton: I take it you’re ready?Charlie: So where are we going?Paton: You’ll see…Henry: Hey, Mrs. Bloor said before she disappeared, your father has never left Bloor’s.Paton: Indeed. We’ll rescue him soon enough, Charlie.

(reunion)Paton: Dad, I’m home!James: Good to see you, Paton. How are those sisters of yours?Paton: Well, they could be better.James: I see.Charlie: Cook?Pearl: I’m not Cook, I’m her sister.Charlie: I thought you looked familiar.James: Hah! So this must be Charlie!Charlie: Yeah. Ezekiel told me about you and how you were making fun of him for liking girl things.James: Does he still?Pearl: Well I heard last week he was caught wearing Hello Kitty pajamas.James: (sighs) Some things never change. (notices Henry) Henry, is that you?Henry: James! (they hug) It’s been forever and a day! I’ll never leave you alone again!James: Good. I hope you plan to teach me to play marbles!Pearl: Well, this’ll be good for Henry. He’ll be staying here with us and I hope you plan to visit.Charlie: Don’t worry, I will.Paton: Good. Now let’s get you back home or Grizelda will have my head if you’re late once again!
—in the car—Charlie: You think he’ll be ok here with his brother, you know, being an old man?Paton: He’ll be just fine!

(Paton’s birthday party)Grizelda: But I don’t wanna go on a trip!Paton: I don’t care! It’s my party and I can snub you if I want to! Now OUT!!! (the women leave in a huff) Ok everyone, let’s party!—very soon, everyone is dancing in the dining room—Charlie: I wish Dad were here. No wait, I’ll find him and bring him here myself!Amy: Are you sure, Charlie?Charlie: You better believe it, Mom!Amy: Of course! After all we went through regarding Henry, I think anything can happen.Charlie: Or we’ll all pay for the trouble we caused.Amy: Yeah, and that too.