Dear shooter: I will not learn your name

I will not learn your name.
I will not read about your vision or your passion
or your manifesto; the views, the hatred
that led you to this act.

I will not share your image on social media
Or comment on the news reports that do.
I will do my best to not even think of you, to unmake your
memory, to forget that such a person ever lived.

You did not win either my admiration or my horror.

But if you had come to me before and said,
“I am angry,” “I am terrified,” “I am alone,”
“I am filled with hatred, for you, for everyone.”
I would have looked you in the eyes as best I could.

I would have spoken your name out loud.
I would have told you the truth, as I know it,
That you are beloved, that you are not alone.
That Love has not passed you over — even you.

And the way I know this is that Love loves me, too —
Even me. I would have looked on you with compassion
And said a prayer for you. I would have called heaven to your aid.
But I will not give you notice now.

Good questions, Elaine. I don’t really know. Maybe in small ways, throughout our day, noticing people it would be easier to ignore, returning anger with kindness, messing up and trying again, forgiving and asking forgiveness.

It seems that the range from the worst of us to the the best of us is increasing. Acts of cowardice are meeting acts of heroism in random libraries, restaurants, street corners. The difference between roles is growing more visible, so every citizen can see, can choose.