Parenting our Bee after infertility

The start of the marathon

So why today, have I decided to start blogging about our journey with assisted conception? After all, it’s been no secret to me for months – well before the official diagnosis, well before we started trying in fact.

I’ve always had this feeling that having a baby – seemingly one of the most simple things to achieve (insert tab A into slot B), would not be that easy for me. A stupid superstition? And yet, in the face of all evidence to the contrary including a mother with legendary fertility, here we are. Between my PCO and The Baron’s sperm count, we have been given just a 5% chance of achieving this ourselves.

I am classifying today as the start of our first ICSI cycle – my first day off the pill designed to regulate my cycle, and a week into my daily dosing with Synarel. So the marathon starts here. And I am going to embrace this experience, and learn from it no matter the outcome.

Today walking in the park, I was following behind two pregnant women and a little girl. Initially, I just watched them, as I have all pregnant women over the past year, with one part jealousy and one part bemusement (can it really be that simple? Impossible!). And then to my surprise I decided just to enjoy being around them. Some goddam hippy idea of soaking up a little of their fertile aura, no doubt – but for the first time in months I felt like I was running the same race again. I may be slower, and it will be a hell of a lot less fun – but I’m in with a chance. And hopefully I won’t be The Barreness for long.