Hi all - usually I'm found on the Chronic Pain forum, but I've ventured down here in the hope that maybe some of you can give me some feedback/input.

I've struggled with depression on and off for a few years - a few 'bad things' in the past, but mainly I guess a reactive depression secondary to my CP and other chronic illness issues.

To say I've had a bad run with psychologists and psychiatrists is to put it mildly. The first I ever saw was a senior with a pain management unit - who looked at my medical history and - if any of you have ever heard the expression along the lines of "looked like he'd been slapped in the face with a wet haddock" - that was this bloke. I didn't like him, forced myself to talk to him, decided after two sessions I wasn't going back. He harassed me by phone, wrote letters to my GP, saying what a mistake I was making. Second was a psychiatrist - changed my meds and went AWOL. Meds didn't go well with me, caused my depression to become a lot worse as can sometimes happen and I nearly came to serious harm. My GP had me stop them - psych at the next appointment yelled at me for stopping them without talking to her. Changed meds again - this time I was falling unconscious within half an hour of talking them. Again unable to get in contact, again lectured for stopping without her 'permission'. Experience three - I have gastroparesis, which two years ago was so bad I was at death's door. Naturally, as a young woman and excruciatingly thin, I must be suffering an eating disorder, someone called the psych team in on me. I was so sick and weak I couldn't move, and four of them stood over my bead and interrogated me. Four - another pain guy - psychiatrist rather than psychologist this time. Charged me $250 for an hour long consult. He spent the first 1/2 hour bad mouthing my pain doctor, my physio, my GP, the other half hour telling me how wonderful HIS team were and how they would improve me - all the while refusing to tell me how they'd actually do it.

With apologies for the ramble - my question proper... Maybe it's because of all the above idiots, but I hate CBT with a passion. Even trying to use it myself, it does nothing for me and I don't want to have anything to do with it. I've had a little luck with self-taught Mindfulness techniques, but I'm going through a really bad patch again with pain and illness, being housebound, grief - basically one great big mess. My PM doctor has suggested Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I'm awfully sceptical about seeing someone else, but the premise of ACT sounds reasonable. Wondering if anyone has tried it and if you've had any success with it?

It is great to see you visit us. You really do have alot to contend with, I really feel for you.

Well, my first thought when I saw your title was going through in my head some of the 'stuff' I have been through, and asking myself wheither they were worthy of ever being accepted, and I had my back up until I read what you have written. Phew!

I am not good with therapy, have tried a few sessions with a few different people, and decided it's just not for me, so I really can not be of much help to you. I guess, all you can do is try it, see if it fits and you feel comfortable with it and decide from there.

I for one are interested to know how you got on with it if you do give it a go though, good luck

You might benefit from this book Laura, It is called "feeling Good" by dr. David Burns. It is about cbt therapy but in a different way. You read as you go. I got it back in the 80's and then purchased it again as my copy got ruined.

This way you can study it as you like. I don't think you got very good psychologist and psychiatrists. Try again with a counselor and see what happens. They don't prescribe meds. cbt can be done without meds.

I think the key is getting a counselor with whom you click. And, I have found psychologists and psychiatrists tob e quite self-involved and have often had some pre-conceived notion of who I am and what my problem is.

I always had better luck with a LCSW-a licensed social worker with specialty in counseling. They are more down to earth and seem to have more tools in their tool box as opposed to lofty concepts and theories. they are more like talking to a really smart friend IF you find the right oneGive it a try...I am a Cp/fibro person and I find I am more able to handle the pain when I talk to a professional (not whining to a friend or family)

Give it a shot, ask for recommendations and see if you click, it can help

Good luckMaggie"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

Thanks to all of you - and my apologies for being so slow to reply. I keep starting a response and something happens, I'm distracted and I never finish it.

Karen - I will look into the book you suggested to see if it helps. As far as meds go - I have very, very poor tolerance of anti-depressant meds, but I've found that citalopram (which my GP prescribes for me) does help. You are spot on that I didn't get a good psychologist or psychiatrists - I know that when I think rationally - I have friends who probably wouldn't be here if not for their psychs or counsellors. My big problem is that - we all know that stress can cause physical symptoms of illness, right? I'm a bit more complicated - because Complex Regional Pain Syndrome involves elements of autonomic dysfunction (pain mediated by the sympathetic nervous system, circulatory changes causing oedema, for example). My experiences with that first psych brought on one of the worst flares I have ever had. I ended up with my legs so swollen that the worse one actually began to ulcerate

I guess it makes me a problem too - I'm uncomfortable of and pretty resistant to any suggestion of counselling or psychology/psychiatry as a result, which is going to make it near-impossible for me to click with anyone. I was just trying to get some more info on ACT (thanks Jamie - the other name for it helped) because the elements of Mindfulness made me wonder if there is a possibility of it helping me.