Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Nirmala - Awakening

Eventually,
we went on to India and ended up in Rishikesh at an ashram called Phool
Chatti in the jungle on the banks of the Ganges. There we spent our
days in satsang with Neelam and our nights singing devotional songs.

Whenever
I wasn't in satsang, I sat by the river, especially late at night after
everyone had gone to sleep. I would sit about ten feet from the edge of
the Ganges along this stretch of ten-foot tall rapids. The river was an
incredible roaring presence of rushing white water.

One
night as I was sitting there under the full moon, I recognized that the
rock I was leaning on was me-"Oh yeah, this is me; this rock is inside
of me." Once I realized that about that rock, I saw the same was true of
all the rocks in the huge field of boulders along the river's edge.
Then since the rocks were so obviously "me," the river was obviously
"me" too, not just this stretch of the river, but the entire Ganges from
one end of India to the other. Very quickly, I saw that not just the
river, but the whole continent was "me." It struck me as obvious that it
was all inside "me"-and then it was the whole world, and the whole
solar system, the entire galaxy and universe. This kept going until the
mind couldn't keep up. There was no longer any possibility of my mind
containing all of this endless space, and yet it was all "me" in the
same way that one of my limbs was "me."

Then
there was a wonderful moment when "me" included not only infinity in
terms of space, but "popped" to also include all time. It was obviously
who I had always been, and it included all the past and all the future.
Then I laughed and laughed and rolled around in the gravel because it
was suddenly so silly that I had imagined myself to have suffered. I had
always been so free that I was even free to have this illusion of not
being free. That's how complete the Freedom is. So I just laughed and
laughed.

I
sometimes call this experience a non-awakening because what I realized
in that moment is that all there is and ever has been is Awakeness.

There's no need for awakening in Awakeness itself. All of life is just the play of this that has always been fully awake.

I
would like to emphasize again that the specifics of this experience
aren't important. This Awakeness/Consciousness doesn't even make a
snowflake the same way twice, so it is reasonable to assume that it
wouldn't have an awakening experience the same way twice. What is
important is the transformation of perspective that the experience
allows. The shift in perspective to knowing that you are already free
doesn't depend on having any particular experience.

Since
that time, there has been a simple desire to share the perspective of
Freedom. I began doing this in informal conversations with friends and
then through giving satsang after being invited to.

The Mevlevi Dervishes

Nisargadatta quotes

Awakening into Awareness

Jalal ad-Din Rumi

Your longing for Me is my message to you; All your attempts to reach Me, Are in reality My attempts to reach you

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Why fear when I am here? I am formless and everywhere I am in everything and beyond. I fill all space. All that you see taken together is Myself. I do not shake or move. If one devotes their entire time to Me and rests in Me, need fear nothing for body and soul. If one sees Me and Me alone and listens to My Leelas and is devoted to Me alone, they will reach God.

Kabir

I went looking for Him And lost myself; The drop merged with the Sea - -Who can find it now? Looking and looking for Him I lost myself; The Sea merged with the drop - -Who can find it now?

Lao Tzu

The ego is a monkey catapulting through the jungle: totally fascinated by the realm of the senses, it swings from one desire to the next, one conflict to the next, one self-centered idea to the next. If you threaten it, it actually fears for its life. Let this monkey go. Let the senses go. Let desires go. Let conflicts go. Let ideas go. Let the fiction of life and death go. Just remain in the center, watching. And then forget that you are there.