I am Salt. I am a Blogger. I write to season lives. I write to shine my little light. I write because I just love expressing myself, my views, my thoughts, and sometimes my angst in words! I also write because I see it is the outlet for my God-given "voice". Thank you for coming by! I hope you leave here inspired to be better, go further or at the very least I hope as you click away, there's a smile on your face.

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Celebrating 20 Years Of Marriage!

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Moi & my mighty good man (Mgm)
Here's to another 20 years by the special grace
of God!

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I am celebrating the grace and mercies of God today as my mgm and I move into our 20th year of marriage. It's such an amazing testimony and I stand in awe of God! Do send up a song of praise to God for me before you continue reading!

It's such a huge milestone and I cannot brag on God enough but trust me, as much as I love my mgm (and I must confess that I actually love him more now than when we first got married. I believe our love has been 'deepened' and purified to what it is now by time and the fires of many tests and trials) I have still seriously wanted to leave him at least five times over the last 20 years. Yes, there were times, it just seemed our love was not deep enough to hold us together. And even till today, he is for sure from Mars on some issues and I, from Venus! Lol!

So what kept me from leaving those times?

There have been a number of reasons ranging from: what would our families say? to 'how would I cope?' and 'where would I go? to 'what would people say'? to the real biggies 'how could I do that to my wonderful children? and 'God hates divorce'. But somehow over time, all these reasons seemed to lose their hold over me. Yes, at some point, I decided I did not want to end up like my mom and many moms back in that generation that stayed in marriages simply for their children. Then, at some point, I even stopped caring that God hated divorce! I reasoned that I would not be seeking divorce, just separation and God did not say anything about that in the Bible, right? *smiling wryly*

But today, my mgm and I are here clocking 20 years together because even when my deep love failed me and I was in a very dark place, I just could not bring myself to believe that God could make a mistake or fail at anything in my life and that included my marriage. I believed that no matter how horribly either of us messed up or missed our way, God could and would make a way of escape or work out a 'u-turn' for our marriage.

So even though sometimes I did not understand how peace could be restored, I simply trusted my PapaGod's inability to fail. I trusted a God for whom nothing is impossible. Not an easy thing to do in the heat of things. But still doable if you lean on Him fully and realise that sometimes, the wisest thing is to do absolutely nothing! To be still and let God.

I don't know all the answers and I am not claiming to know what the secrets of a long lasting marriage are but I do see in my life that even if there is love and trust, great sex and communication and loads of money and open-ness and selflessness and all the good stuff all the marriage books tell us, if a husband or wife believes s/he has the final say in his/her marriage and not God, medoubts that marriage will last 20 years oh! Human wisdom is rarely ever in line with God's will.

So were you to ask me today what the secret to my 20 year old marriage is, I would say 'all the good things the marriage books/counsellors tell you but more importantly choosing to let God have the final say.' That is my secret and so as you pop champagne with us today, please let me encourage you (married, soon to be married and will be married one day) to make this your secret too!

36 comments:

Wow, my dear sister mi, two decades have flown by already? A big CONGRATULATION and (((HUGS))) to you and your dear husband.This is coming belatedly but the prayers are not.

May the Lord wrap your union in His loving arms and continue to protect it as the mother hen protects her chicks such that you continue to stand strong in the face of every wind of challenge that may blow your way.

I wish you a memorable one and pray that the One who has brought you this far, will keep you two in love and on fire for each other to the end. You will not be one of the statistics. God bless your home.

Amen my dear Sista! Amen! Thank you so much. Lailai, none of our marriages would be a negative stattistic in Jesus name. Amen! May the light of our marriages reflect all that God intended for them when he ordained this powerful relationship.

Congratulations Bola to you and your husband. May God bless you with multiple years 20+20. To Him be all the glory and honour for keeping you both together, may He continue to bless the fruit of your labour and all that you set your hands to do. May He bless your children and your home with abundance and overflow more than you have room enough to hold. Again God bless you!

Wow....congrats...20 yrs loun loun.....you will celebrate many many more years together in Jesus name. God will continually put a new song in your mouth, dance steps will never cease from your home, everlasting joy beyond human comprehension will abide with you and yours. I know we will all read your testimony again year after year to celebrate your 50th, 60th wedding anniversary in Jesus name. Amen

CONGRATS MY DARLYN SIS!HUBBY AND I ARE FIVE YEARS TODAY TOOYOURS IS AN EVIDENCE FOR ME THAT WE ALSO WILL CELEBRATE 20 YEARSGOD INDEED IS A FAITHFUL GOD!I LOVE, ADMIRE AND APPRECIATE YOU DEARLY!GOD BLESS YOUR HOME.....

I am confident that you will get to 20 years and even go beyond that. How come? Because I know you know that God alone has the final say over your life! Thank you so much for being my sista, a JUM mom and just a true pillar of support! Mwaah!

Thank you Tamie! Not one bit of chin chin o! Not one bit. But you know the more spouses let God's heart beat in their chests......marriage can be a little like heaven on earth. Every day, I ask God to give me his heart for his son. The grace you seek you will get and much more my dia!

Very mighty belated congratulations and like Tamie did, I'm tapping into your grace ooo...(ain't easy at all and even though ours is still relatively young, could identify with wanting to just get up and leave. Yes) May God continue to keep and uphold your home and may your love continue to wax stronger each passing day IJN.

God bless you Bola, just discovered your blog. I am truly blessed by your sincere words. God keep you and your hubby in love and good health. Get ready for the next 20yrs dear. Keep the torch burning. Cynthia

Aww Congratulations! Wow! Enjoyed every bit. You clearly have worked on keeping it real and that was reflected in the interview. Lol @ libido drive. Hmm.I've got a question though, did you not feel in the least bit slighted when you realised 'you were a bet'? I ask cos I've been playing the scene in my head, and err I'm not sure I like the feeling o! Yea it turned out all romantic-him fallling for you and all but then *shrugs* #justasking . P.S: adim very single and wonder how I'd feel if my intending tells me that.

I pray your unions blossoms to witness many decades of togetherness and love!

Lol, Chioma! Thanks for coming by. Thinking back, I don't remember being miffed.....maybe because I was not easy at all o! He had to work hard to win that bet!!! Lol! But you know, people are different......what was more important to me was that I felt the feelings he had were genuine......and worth taking a chance on.......

Thank you 1 + The One, for coming by and your kind words and prayers. Yes, I am looking forward to the next 20 years o! It promises to be an even more exciting ride. Lol! May all your prayers over me and all your good wishes boomerang right back at you!

Thank you Mufasa.....Yes, hold on to God's will no matter what. But let me just clarify that I personally don't believe it is God's will to hold in in a marriage where there is serial abuse of any form especially physical. God forbid your life or the lives of your children are in danger, separate yourself from such a situation. You can only hold on to God when you ARE ALIVE o!!!!!

You see, this is one of the reasons I love doing these blogs! Knowing that somehow, somehow, no matter how small, God will speak to his own.....using my words.....To him alone be all the glory....Thank you Akibo Tommie for sharing this with me! And amen to your prayer.

About Me

I love to write and ever since I discovered the art of blogging have been trying really hard not to become a blog junkie! I am blessed to be married to a man who 'gets' me most of the time and to have three children who make me laugh in totally different ways.
And in 2012, God gave me a new name. He called me Salt.

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