Over the past few weeks, I've had conversations with two men - one who is going through a divorce and another who recently did. I kept hearing the same two themes emerge: one, that they were both trying everything they could to do the right thing, hold their marriages together and to show love even as their (ex-)spouse was struggling and/or being destructive; and two, that because their efforts weren't being accepted, it dealt such a heavy blow to their self-worth. Since in this project I had promised to explore all of the angles of love, I felt drawn to flesh out this experience in song, as difficult as that may be.

This was a hard song to write and I'm sure is a hard one to listen to. It's not unlike watching Requiem for a Dream - sitting through it once is probably enough. I had to go deep and get to an emotional space that I've known very well but not really wanted to return to. That said, the purpose of this piece is not in any way to glorify a defeated and self-doubting perspective; in time people move out of this stage and realize their worth is independent of their circumstances. Rather, this is a "snapshot" in time, a musical picture of a dark and raw reality... for the sake of artistic observation as well as catharsis. Almost like being physically ill, sometimes it's only by purging the darkness through expressing it (in writing, in song, in conversation) that we make room for the light and life to return again.