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Thursday, September 27, 2007

It's been a while but....

the lack of a good poop post couldn't last forever now, could it? (According to my grammar prof that there is a tag question. See? You can teach an old dog new tricks.)

This morning I stuck the usual cloth diaper on Hope but somehow she leaked through it in, oh, I dunno, as much time as it takes to walk between her room and the basement. So, I took it off and started to put on a new diaper when she pulled her patented "twist and run" move. This is where I try and get a diaper on her, she twists the bottom half of her body around so that she can quickly crawl out of reach. If I try and twist her back into position, well, all bloody hell breaks loose. I decided to risk it diaper-free. She had just peed and she only poops late in the day. This is where, if there was a soundtrack to this post, you would here: Dah-dah-DAH in loud, scary music foreshadowing what you know is coming.

Emily and I were playing grocery store. Hope crawled over, I'm not kidding, one minute after I took her diaper off. There is something on her leg. I know. I know exactly what it is. My eyes dart over to where she had just been standing and OH MY GOD. It is the biggest pile of raisin poop that I've seen since, well, since Emily ate raisins at that age.

If you haven't experienced raisin poop, let me describe (you knew I would). Runny and yet solid. Peppered here and then with whole raisins. And the smell, my God, the smell. Louise, daycare provider number one for Emily, used to describe it as the consistency of raisin pie - that was raisin poop at its worst. Today's scat was somewhere in the middle of the grossness scale for raisin poop.

I grabbed Hope in strategic locations to limit the poop transfer, cleaned her up, applied a diaper (while wishing to God that I'd had more resolve and just forced it on her a few minutes before), made Emily vacate the basement and then armed myself with a cloth diaper, a lot of wet wipes, paper towels and nasty chemical carpet cleaner.

Then I called Sears. They're coming next Thursday to clean the carpets. Best $100 I'll ever spend.