Tag Archives: Humor

I have become a bit of an HGTV addict since a visit to a good friend last August.

Now the channel is the background noise in my apartment. Property Brothers, Fixer Upper, and Love It or List It are major distractions. And I hear this tired cliche from homeowners all the time —

Perhaps I should be thrilled that the woman is ‘winning’ in this scenario, but instead it kinda pisses me off.

I’ve never been married, but I envision a partnership of sorts where decisions are made together and compromise is key. This credo makes it sound like the wife is some crabby curmudgeon who holds every outcome over her husband’s head. If its doesn’t go her way, grudges will commence! Sex will be withheld! Pain will be inflicted!

I have just finished binge-watching the new season of House of Cards. But don’t worry — there are no spoilers here.

You have to put in all those hours to learn about their latest foibles.

I’m just anxious to interact with real people again after my total immersion the past couple of days (other than brief breaks for UK basketball [29-0] and dog walks).

You know what I missed most?

Blinking.

Not me — I blink quite a bit, whether in conversation or while watching hours of TV. I wear contacts; it’s required.

But the cast of House of Cards never appears to blink. Not even when the camera takes a long, dramatic look…pushing in for a revealing closeup.

They simply don’t give into the urge.

I would love to be on set when the director yells ‘cut.’ I envision the actors blinking furiously. Eye drops being administered post haste. A furious rubbing of eyelids, followed by frantic makeup touch ups.

Old Navy is now selling this popular style to girls and babies, and continuing to call them boyfriend jeans. Some parents and psychologists argue that this name is inappropriate for such a young clientele, who shouldn’t be thinking about wearing their boyfriend’s jeans or even have a boyfriend at all.

In the words of Seth and Amy at the SNL Weekend Update desk — “Really?”

I’d argue that the ‘highly sexualized nature’ of the name lies in the minds of these doctors and parents. Jeans shoppers have heard it in the marketplace for years; it simply means ‘loose fitting.’ Any babies and little girls made aware of the name will define it in terms of their own innocent friendships (unless their parents attempt to explain it in an adult context and scar them forever).

Keep calm and carry on, parents. There are far bigger boogie men out there to fight.