Beysus cracks

Page Six was first last week with a report on Beyonce’s second pregnancy. E! ended the week with their own exclusive, citing multiple sources who’d supposedly confirmed that she is indeed expecting again. Beyonce’s response? Very uncharacteristic. She posted an angry note on Instagram that read as follows:

"I can't stop the rumors from starting, and I can't really change peoples minds who believe them, all I can do is sit back and laugh at these low life people who have nothing better to do than talk about me."

It was then deleted, quickly.

How very... Lindsay Lohan/Justin Bieber.

And she knows it. Which is why she pulled it down. This is not the controlled, almost dementedly machine-like Beyonce we’ve become accustomed to. DO NOT ENGAGE is always, always, always the best response.

But they’re only human, Lainey!

Um. No. Are you trying to tell me Beyonce is human? Beyonce is not human. Beyonce also directed Beyonce in a documentary about Beyonce in which Beyonce interviewed Beyonce about Beyonce’s life and Beyonce’s miscarriage and Beyonce’s pregnancy. That’s what you call a door that’s been opened. And, in her case, it’s a door that was actually kept well shut before then. Beyonce never released wedding photos. Beyonce didn’t sell baby photos. But Beyonce did obsessively record Beyonce on her laptop and shared that footage on film on HBO. And now she wants to pull back?

As for how legit these pregnancy reports are -- according to Ebro Darden (great name), the program director for New York’s Hot 97, who emailed his congratulations to Jay-Z when he heard, Jay’s answer was:

"It's not true. The news is worse than blogs." (Source) So does that mean she’s really not, or does it mean they’re still choreographing the light show that will accompany the announcement?

Also attached -- some shots B posted on her Tumblr. No bumping that I can see, but triple Spanx would help with that.