When you set a goal, one key ingredient is making sure the goal is a good goal; that is, it helps you focus on something you care about. The easiest way to do that is to find out how it feels to tell someone about your goal, so put it in your Week’s Plan. This small step can make a big difference.

How to Share

Even if you just blurt it out to a random acquaintance, you’ll hear the level of commitment in your own voice and learn what it feels like to take the next step. Here are a few more tips.

Write it down. Start with a verb, attach an object. “Money” is not a goal; “Earn a million dollars” is a goal. “Peace” is not a goal; “Finish my divorce” is a goal.

Set the finish line. A goal is a finish line. Check that your goal is S-M-A.

Pick the right ear. Choose someone who “gets it,” someone who understands the role you play in your life and would be supportive of your pursuit of that goal. This is important. If the person you tell isn’t supportive, then their feedback won’t help you.

Be open to feedback. It’s just a goal! It’s not your life, so be prepared to change your goal because if it’s not a good goal, if it won’t help you focus on what you care about, change it or drop it.

The Effect

If you believe in “energy,” then believe this:

Saying a goal out loud to someone who cares about it changes it.

Some dramatic changes:

The goal doesn’t feel quite right, so you change it.

The person you tell says it doesn’t feel right, so you change it.

The person you tell says, “That’s perfect! How can I help?!?!”

That last one is the best! Getting help with a goal can help you focus on it and achieve it, but you need to act on it. Keep the conversation going about how to pursue your goal with her help, and before it ends make sure you know the next step and are prepared to do it. If you don’t figure out what help she will give you, your next step is to schedule an appointment to deliver some ideas to your helper. Here are eleven ideas to help you figure them out.