How To Embrace Change And Major Shifts In Your Life… Right Now

Aaaah life. Never a dull moment… Always shaking things up when we least expect (or want) it. WHY? Why can’t things just go the way we want it to? You know, like the picture-perfect daydreams we create in our heads, or the elaborate goals we write in our colourful notebooks – or even the super organised cards on our Trello boards. Why must things change when we plan them out so perfectly?

I know it can be REALLY hard to admit when things are messy.

Those yuk moments are super easy to just sweep under the rug and pretend they don’t exist… especially when everyone else’s highlight reel on Facebook and Instagram paints a different story. Or when there’s this expectation to just suck it up and carry on. Urrrrg. I hate it when people say things like that. Pretending is the absolute worst thing you can do, because that’s when other things creep in – things like resentment, anxiety, depression.

When life’s throwing you lemons, it’s okay to admit that things aren’t fine.

MORE than okay, actually – it’s totally normal and totally necessary.

Because, friend… you WANT the mess.

Massive change usually happens from messy moments.

Yup. There’s a reason they say change is uncomfortable. So this change… embracing the messy – let’s talk about HOW to actually DO this!

For real; even though it might not seem that way, things have been… interesting to say the least. I’ve questioned SO much… Things about my life’s purpose (the joy of being an INFJ who overthinks too much… working on that!), what I *should* be doing at 35, why things aren’t going the way I’d hoped they would, what’s the next step, etc. Things just feel a little out of sync… or at least they did up until a few days ago.

Not that it’s perfect now – it’s just a lot less fuzzy. Thank goodness.

But I want to tell you something…

It’s OKAY to feel the feels.

Because that’s when the good stuff happens – AFTER the messy bits.

It happens when we’re thrown out of our element, put in uncomfortable situations, and forced to get real about who we are and where we’re at right now.

WHAT TO (REALLY) DO WHEN SHIFT HAPPENS

See what I did there with the “f”?

Yup… that shift, that’s the real crappy part we don’t want to talk about; the behind-closed-doors kind of stuff. Or maybe you do talk about it (or over-share, like I tend to do sometimes), but you don’t know how to feel GOOD about the shifts going on in your life right now.

Sooooo….

How do you get from the feeling like things are falling apart, being confused about the next step, or just feeling stuck part – to the embracing (liking?!) where you’re at right now part?

Simple.

You quit trying to control it all. You stop trying to force things and just embrace the flow.

I’m sharing a few things that have helped me get through the messy moments these past few weeks; hopefully a few of these resonate with you, too and help you feel more motivated to embrace the shift!

7 WAYS TO EMBRACE CHANGE AND SHIFT IN YOUR LIFE

1. OWN THE FEELS

Yep… Aaalll the feels.

This actually helped me so much; the minute I stopped trying to be positive about everything all the time and gave myself permission to get angry, everything changed. So get angry. Get frustrated. Scream, cry, shout, vent, cry some more. Whatever… just give into the feels.

Stop pretending that everything is okay.

If it’s not, it’s okay to admit that (to yourself, your partner and a close, trusted friend or family member).

I think it’s crazy how much pressure we put on ourselves all the time to have this perfect life or make as if we’ve got everything figured out all the time.

Being honest and vulnerable is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength.

2. GET THAT SHIFT OUT!

I always feel like I do my best writing or painting when I’m really upset or angry… it’s the weirdest thing. Some kind of therapeutic release or something.

Even if you’re not artistic or creative – even if you chuck a bunch of red and black paint onto a piece of paper or bang your fingers on the keyboard pouring your heart out.

Even if you take a drive (though, I won’t encourage driving when you’re really angry) and sing at the top of your lungs – thank you Linkin Park. It’s all GOOD.

3. PUSH PAUSE; TAKE A BREAK

It’s always easier to see the bigger picture when you step away for a bit.

For me, that was pushing pause on creating new content… I didn’t blog for about 2 weeks and I was MIA on social media for a lot of that time. I also made a point of doing things that made me feel good – things I kept putting off because I was so “busy”.

Like just sitting in the garden for 5 minutes with a cup of coffee.

Or listening to a podcast while I did the dishes.

Time to just THINK.

It gave me time to figure out what I could push pause on for a little while, till I waded through most of the messy stuff.

And you can do this, too. Promise, it will all still be there when you feel like jumping back in. Since that blogging break, I feel so much clearer on what I’m writing about and sharing.

4. FOCUS ON WHAT MATTERS NOW

Truth?

Sometimes we get so fixated on this idea of how our lives should be, that we unconsciously push aside the stuff that really matters. For me, that was treating my blog like this big successful business after just a few months.

And while that sounds ambitious and great, it actually wasn’t.

I’d spend crazy amounts of time working on it and feeling like if I wasn’t, I was this huge failure. I think this is something so many newbie entrepreneurs and bloggers go through.

And it shouldn’t be that way.

Sure, do what you love – but not at the expense of people in your life or your health.

That’s what was happening to me…

I got so lost in my blog, that I stopped taking proper care of myself and spent more and more free time doing “one more thing.” The reality is…

Good things take time.

Yup. Even when other people tell you they don’t…

Now, I’m clocking out on time, I’m treating exercise like a daily appointment, I’m prioritising time with my hubby. But mostly, I’m making a point of carving out mini blocks of time to just relax more instead of feeling like I need to go-go-go, slay, hustle, etc. all the time.

5. ACTIVELY SEEK OUT JOY

I don’t hear that nearly as often as I’d like. It’s all hustle and slay and make it happen right NOW or you’re missing out! Whatever happened to just having more fun and feeling joyful?

Isn’t that important, too?

This past weekend we went to a mini theme park for a friend’s birthday.

I always feel so self conscious doing things outside my comfort zone (like going on rides), but after the first time round, I forced myself to let go of any inhibitions and just have FUN. I can’t remember the last time I did this.

We get so serious about life sometimes, that we forget that it’s actual this massive gift to ENJOY.

We’ve got all these choices and opportunities every single day.
All these things we have the freedom to do.

7. BE GRATEFUL

Yup, you read that right… Be grateful for the chaos.

Every single time I’ve been through messy moments in my life – something good has always come from it. It never lasts forever and it always forces me to re-evaluate where I’m at, what’s important, and who I am.

Because sometimes we forget and we try and be these people other people want us to be.

It also helps because I know God’s got my back.

Instead of trying to control everything and getting stressed out because things aren’t going the way I planned, I know it’s all part of a bigger plan.

And knowing that?

It just makes it a heck of a lot easier to embrace the chaos and know that some sort of change is happening FOR me with the best of intentions. Whatever you believe, I promise that when you shift your mindset from things happening TO you, to things happening FOR you… and you trust that it’s part of a bigger plan, life becomes a hack of a lot less messy!

Easier said than done, right? I know… I know, change still sucks.

There’s nothing pretty about the messy moments.

But they happen and it’s a heck of a lot easier to just go with the flow, do more things that make you feel good, and know that it’s all for a reason.

I mean, just think about some of the most successful people you know…

They all have stories to tell, they all had messy parts of their lives they probably wished never happened. The point is, they got through them – and it got them to where they are.

And so can you.

Just give yourself space and permission to take it easier and not get so hard on yourself when things don’t go the way you planned.

It’s okay.

It always works out; just take the opportunity to be a little kinder to yourself and use those uncertain moments to do more things that make you happy.

Simplify it, really… it’s not as big as we make it out to be sometimes.

This is a beautiful post my friend. It’s true change is messy and scary, but so much good comes out of it. I’ve been questioning some things in my life too lately and change is definitely something that will be happening soon for me. The best part of change is that we grow and thrive, and never stop learning.

You’re so right my friend! Change creates growth and it leads us to some pretty amazing places, things and people. I need to pop you an email and hear what’s happening on your side… the last few weeks have gone by like the speed of lightning! xx

Hi Mary! Breaks are one of the best ways to stay productive and motivated. Even when you’re “in the zone” – just that quick 5-minute tea break or walk outside does WONDERS. I’m with you on prayer helping. Praying and reading the bible over coffee has become my daily go-to… it’s my favourite way to start the day! 🙂

I love this! I’m currently going through the same thing which inspired me to start writing a post about why breaks are necessary sometimes. This post has really helped me and encouraged me to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way sometimes. Thank you!

Hi Lauren, YAY! That makes me so happy to hear. Sometimes I feel like I go through these things alone, too – and it looks like everyone else has it all together! Just goes to show… I’m glad we get to pour our hearts into words that encourage others and I’m so glad this post helped you. 🙂 Breaks are the best – we need them often! xx

Beautiful post. Raw and spot on. And you’ve got me thinking about how much I need to try to be online when I’m traveling April 1 – 14. I’m going to see family, and a few other things along the way but I was thinking about how I’d keep up with my scheduling and posts and all that.
I need to step away. I really need it. So…you’ve got me thinking about stepping away for my sake and in a way that won’t stress me out. 🙂
Sending you hugs and hopes that your week is going well. 💜

YAY!! That makes me SO happy to hear you say that! I know how hard you work on all your creative endevours, your site, your mandalas, your haiku’s… ALL of it. You pour everything into it and it shows. BUT, yes – couldn’t agree with you more, I think those 2 weeks are heaven sent and just the excuse to take a little (LOT of!) R&R. Looking forward to hearing how relaxing your little vacation was. Sending hugs across the pond 🙂 <3 xx

These are great and I really needed it! Currently 38 weeks pregnant and I feel like I can’t do everything fast enough before baby comes and then I overthink what a mess it’ll be if I don’t get things done now, etc. I am definitely going to take a breather and enlist some help because this mama is super overwhelmed (not just the hormones talking!)

Hi Karla! Oh my goodness, I can’t even begin to imagine how busy your brain must be right now – I think I’d be in a very similar spot, trying to do it ALL. You’re in the home run, so I’m really glad this post resonated with you, because now more than ever is the time you need to carve out extra time for YOU and just relax. Getting some help is a great idea! That’s something I struggle with (asking for it) and I think a lot of us do… but we need to! Wishing you all the best for the next few weeks, enjoy every moment before your beautiful bundle of joy arrives. 🙂 x

Hey, hey! WELCOME to Imagine You! I’m Melanie, the creative behind this blog. We’re all about self care, mindset, real talk and personal growth here. On the blog, you’ll find topics, tips and talks on doing what you love, balancing everyday life and feeling great about yourself – no matter where you’re at in your journey. Grab a cuppa and get inspired, join the community or chat and come say “hi!” I’m so glad you’re here.