UNICEF Report On Canadian Kids' Unhappiness Is A Wake-Up Call

For all our crazed helicopter parenting, doting, attaching and enriching, we have failed to attain the very thing every parent ultimately wants: â€śI just want my child to be happy!â€ť | Liam Norris via Getty Images

The latest report card on childrenâ€™s well-being from UNICEF measured childrenâ€™s perceived life satisfaction. They reported this shocking finding: almost one in 10 Canadian children ranked life a four out of 10 on a scale where zero means â€śthe worst possible life for me.â€ť

And 25 per cent of Canadian adolescence reported one or more health complaints every single day! These are usually the somatic expressions of psychological stressors: headaches, tummy aches, trouble sleeping and so on.

This is a wake-up call. For all our crazed helicopter parenting, doting, attaching and enriching, we have failed to attain the very thing every parent ultimately wants: â€śI just want my child to be happy!â€ť

"Almost one in 10 Canadian children ranked life a four out of 10 on a scale where zero means 'the worst possible life for me.'"

Why are we missing the boat? Because we donâ€™t raise kids through the lens of happiness.

Our measuring rod in Western culture is accomplishments. Just as government uses Gross Domestic Product (GDP) to measure how our country is performing, we parents look to report cards to see if the kids are measuring up. What â€ślevelâ€ť are they in at swimming or skating? How is their vocabulary developing? Can they read and write yet?

Well, one radical country, Bhutan, has decided to use happiness instead of GDP to measure and track how their country is doing. Are the people happy? If they are, then we are running the country well.

Imagine if we did that for our families? In a recent book called â€śAll Joy, No Fun,â€ť the author explains that parents find raising children a fulfilling, altruistic task, but drop in on any household and chances are you will find people who are not really happy at all. We are yelling and fighting and at cross purposes with one another much of the day.

So what do we know about happiness and how we can improve our childrenâ€™s happiness quotient? Letâ€™s take a look at the major components:

1. Overcoming poverty and other inequities

UNICEFâ€™s latest report was entitled â€śFairness for Childrenâ€ť as it was looking at types of inequities in income, education, health and so on. The kids at â€śthe bottomâ€ť are not getting the same access to services.

Letâ€™s face it: until our basic needs of safety and security are met, we have little resources left for personal growth. Even very poor countries can have happy citizens if all are living in relatively the same conditions.

Itâ€™s the gap between the haves and have nots that erodes happiness. The greater the gap, the more the misery, and that gap is growing in Canada.

Support any initiatives or policy changes to lessen the equity gap for children.

2. Strong, healthy relationships and sense of belonging

Because we are social mammals, we are wired to be relational. We need tight bonds and healthy connections to be happy. Itâ€™s our prime directive. So, ask yourself: do you have good relationships in the family? Are you close knit? Accepting? Do you love unconditionally? Or are you drifting apart? Are you kids feeling isolated? Lonely?

If you think you could do better in this area, try building up the number of common experiences you share. In others words, spend more time together. Todayâ€™s families are often so overscheduled they leave no time for actually being together as a family. Or, we are all home, but in different rooms on our various devices. Drop some of your outside commitments and dedicate the extra time to your family life.

Learn how to be an effective disciplinarian. If you use punishments or rewards, you are distancing yourself from your child. Children feel degraded by both. Instead, try positive discipline approaches, such as logical consequences or problem solving together, which research shows is more effective anyways.

3. Autonomy

People need to feel empowered to make choices and to be in control of their environment. When we can decide for ourselves and control our world, we develop a sense of agency that improves our self-esteem. Without autonomy, we are powerless puppets who feel we are victims of life, rather than active change agents building the life we want.

Freedom is key to happiness. Do you allow your child to make their own age appropriate decisions? Have you loosened the leash to meet their growing age and development? Do you mind your own business when appropriate?

4. Mastery and mission

Children are born as dependant creatures, but they are wired for growth and development. They want to learn to walk, talk and complete themselves through the life cycle. With patience and guidance from elders, all children can develop themselves.

Too often parents interfere with childrenâ€™s skills development because they find it faster and easier to do everything for the child. But that is selfish. It serves our needs to get through the day easily, but stalls our childrenâ€™s progression.

Not only do we need to slow down and allow our children to practice (and learn from their inevitable mistakes) as they become competent and masterful, but we also need to find places for them to share their talents in a way that helps others.

Even children need to feel a sense of purpose and value, in their families and classrooms. Let your children have a voice and a say through family meetings. Ask their input on deciding family rules together. Engage children in help around the house, or in assisting a neighbour. Remind them why the family wouldnâ€™t be the same without them!

What do the children say about all this? UNICEF has partnered with WorldVuze, an online site for K-12 students from around the world. They posed the question: â€śMy life would be most improved/made better if Iâ€¦â€ť

The answers show this:
â€˘ Lack of sleep
â€˘ Lack of time to themselves
â€˘ Low self-confidence
â€˘ And pressure to do well.

Parents, our children are not happy and we are their first line responder. Listen to what they have to say and respond. Weâ€™ll all be happier!

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Pulses like chickpeas, beans and lentils are high in complex carbohydrates, protein and fibre, which all help stabilize blood sugar, which, in turn, helps keep moods even.
Roasted chickpeas are a great go-to, but you can also roast lentils. This recipe offers two options: a savoury version topped with garlic salt, and a tempting cinnamon-sugar topped version, too.
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This Italian flatbread is made with chickpea flour. Try topping it with tomatoes, ribbons of zucchini, or olives to get in another serving of vegetables at snack time.
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Studies show dehydration can make it hard to think clearly, and affects mood and energy levels. So while drinking enough water is important for us all, you can also get some of your hydration from foods like watermelon.
Slices of the fruit are usually a hit with kids, but you can also try this watermelon slush, which is especially tasty and thirst-quenching on a hot day.
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No one feels happy when theyâ€™re sick. This salad is packed with hydrating fruit and vitamin C (especially if you add in some kiwi), which will help fight off sickness.
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These little kebabs couldnâ€™t be cuter and the grapes and tomatoes they are made with are fantastic for staying hydrated.
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According to a study from the University of Eastern Finland, a diet rich in folate may reduce the risk of depression. To get some folate into your kids, try setting up a baked-potato bar with toppings like black beans, cheese, avocado and more to get your kids to eat the good stuff. (And you donâ€™t even have to turn on the oven; baked potatoes can be microwaved to cut down on the cooking time.)
Other food sources of folate include dark leafy greens, sunflower seeds, oranges, broccoli and avocado.
Note: Health Canadaâ€™s recommended dietary allowance of folate for kids varies depending on age. Visit the site here for more info.
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Studies show that the EPA and DHA varieties of omega-3 fatty acids, which are found in cold-water fish like tuna and salmon, may help with mood. These little muffin-shaped melts combine canned tuna, cheese, egg and more to make a perfect tiny snack that can easily be packed in a lunch.
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Getting a good nightâ€™s sleep is very important for mental health. Tart cherries are a natural source of melatonin, a hormone that is involved in sleep-wake cycles. There is some evidence that melatonin may help people fall asleep more quickly, so offer up one of these tart cherry pie snack balls as dessert. In a small way it could help your child get the rest she needs. Plus, itâ€™s delicious!
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