This blog started as something to heal from my miscarriage but now my miscarriage is only a part of my life of healing. Yes I'm still healing from the loss of Tristan. But I have many other parts of my life that needed healing as well. Learning to enjoy and find the blessings of this journey God is leading me on.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Doctors Stink

Had my Ultra sound yesterday to find out if my follicles are maturing. The ultra sound tech says I'm going to page the Dr I said is something wrong she says no it's normal for us to page the doctor. You should get a call later. (I'm not so sure it is normal so my mind is going through all kinds of scenarios) I wanted until 3:30 and call the Dr office myself. I was told my Dr would call me Friday I said well since we are dealing with maturing follicles here isn't this a timely matter. I was told your follicle is not mature and the doctor will call you Friday. I said I don't understand can you explain this to me. She says that's all I can say the Dr will call you Friday. Really I have to wait!!!!???? Now mind you I'm already upset because every time I have to have a vaginal ultra sound it takes me right back to the day of my miscarriage so now I'm just so upset and don't even know what to do with myself. There is a big part of me that just wants to give up and say you know what we just aren't meant to have kids and start saving money to move forward with adoption. I'm brokenhearted yet again. How many times does my heart have to break before I see the light? God, I need you, I know you're there, help me!

4 comments:

What cycle day are you on? In my cycle I took clomid (50 mg) days 5-9, then went in on day 14 for a follicle check. My clinic wants the follicles to be 16 or better before triggering. I triggered on day 14 and then had an IUI the following day.

Don't panic yet sweet friend, you may still have time for those follicles to mature.

Are you doing a trigger shot? Are you doing IUI?

Perhaps your Dr. is being conservative and not trying to overstimulate you? Don't give up, hold on to HOPE :)

I understand that feeling of getting knocked down again and again. But right now, I'm claiming HOPE for you! God bless Amanda with a peaceful spirit to know that you are in control and that you have a plan that is best for her.

I'm sorry the MD office is being so crappy, I think that treatment is unacceptable and would keep calling back. You deserve to know something!!!

Dont give up ! I hope now you got some more informtaion about your ultrasound , maybe the follicles were yet too small and they wanted to wait a few days to let them grow more ? They need to be acertain size in order to lead to ovulation .I know the feeling of flashbacks and being sensitive and when things doesnt go my way Im close to crying ...Dont give up yet though,your body might need some time to get back to balance after the surgery .Maybe , if your follicles didnt respond to the present clomid dose you will have to increase it next cycle but I hope they did grow : ) so you dont have to.Dont give up yet Amanda , this is a hard and many times lonely road but we have to hope there is something positive there for us at the end .Let us know how you got on - Hugs Angie