In pursuit of life- and the perfect cup of tea

Pack Your S#&t and Leave

I don’t hate a lot of things. I say I do sometimes, but I’m probably one of the hardest people to actually get to hate anything. When I do, however, everyone watch out: My actual hate can burn with the fiery passion of ten thousand suns all going super nova at the same time.

So what does a girl who rarely hates things actually, legitimately hate? Oh, you know…. The usual: Pedophiles. Rapists. School Shooters. White Nationalists. People who treat Service Workers like crap. The absolutely unnecessarily overinflated costs of even the most basic medical care. People who put Heavy Cream in their Tea… And people who hate practically fucking everything.

Let’s be clear here: When I say hate, I’m not talking about being opinionated. I’m opinionated… Everyone and their Grandmother’s Dog has an opinion about something; I’m also not talking about dislike. It’s not wrong to dislike something. Disliking something is totally cool; I’m also not talking about people who complain about things they don’t like, either. Hell, I complain all the time. I’m complaining right now, even… It’s in our nature to do that and there’s nothing wrong with occasionally expressing your dislike of something (also known as complaining).

No. What I’m talking about, dear Hummingbirds, is a special type of virulent hatred directed at completely irrelevant shit that doesn’t actually matter and participated in by one very specific type of perpetually bitter dickgoblin.

I’m talking about the type of hatred of completely irrelevant things which runs so deep and unchecked that it literally becomes violent and abusive after a certain point… That makes people go out of their way to pull down their pants and take a giant proverbial shit on the completely irrelevant thing they don’t like- and anyone and anything that’s even remotely associated with it… That drives people to do so at every conceivable opportunity that presents itself to them.

The type of hatred that makes people feel superior to or more enlightened than- and act as if they’re ages above- those around them; the kind that, really, is nothing more than an ego fueled self masturbatory fuckfest that makes them say stupid shit like “sheeple” (seriously, who coined that?).

This type of hatred is experienced by a very specific type of person.

They’re people who can never sit back and just be happy. Ever. At all. Under any circumstance. For any reason.

People who’s entire life and personality revolves completely around just hating everything- and is defined solely by the specific shit they hate.

People whose hatred never appears to have an off switch… Hell, it doesn’t even have a fucking standby mode. It’s just always there, always on, perpetually targeting anything they can find even the smallest reason to hate.

You know exactly who I’m talking about, here.

The type of people who vehemently complain about how much they hate Vegans and Foodies and people who complain about “First World Problems”…. without having enough self awareness to realize that their own virulent bitching about foodies and vegans and people who complain about “first world problems”… Actuallymakes them one of those people complaining about first world problems.

People who hate on Uggs and Starbucks and Pumpkin Spice and call anyone who enjoys those things “Basic Bitches” like it’s an insult to like things that also happen to be liked by a lot of other people.

People who say stuff like “We should be showing our loved ones how we feel every day, not just on a random day in February” and then spend their day throwing up “Fuck Valentines” posts everywhere and posting Anti-Romance trash instead of, you know, just enjoying their once yearly excuse to gorge themselves on cheap chocolates and down a bottle of champagne guilt free.

I used to be one of those people.

I really did. I was that person for a long time; as an ex Bitter Bitch™ who inherited some serious anger management issues from her abusive and unstable mother, I know all too well that kind of hatred. You could almost say I’m virtually an expert on it. And from an ex Bitter Bitch™ to all you current ones? If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being that person and struggling daily not to be, it’s this: It doesn’t make you cool. It makes you an asshole.

Hundreds of articles have been written on this subject over the course of what feels like decades. They all articulate it far better than I ever could, but I’m going to say it anyways: You’re not cute. You’re not quirky. You’re not “telling it like it is”. You’re not “Speaking the truth”. You’re not more enlightened. You’re not superior. You’re not more intelligent. You’re not more mature. You’re certainly not interesting, either.

You have no concept of happiness or joy. You’re boring, and you’re one dimensional; you’re a bitter asshole whose entire personality consists of one singular, defining trait: “Shit I fucking hate”. And no one likes you except other equally bitter assholes (not that you’d like them back even if they did).

Stop it.

Dislike things all you want. But virulently hating them is a fool’s game that you’re never going to win. Why? Because taste isn’t universal and opinions vary wildly even on the same things. Furthermore, it doesn’t matter anyways so why waste your energy?

Valentines Day (as one example) has absolutely no meaning in the grand scheme of things. It’s just a holiday that occurs once a year… So why violently hate it? Why go out of your way to profess that hate to the world in the most aggressive manner possible- as if anyone honestly gives a flying fuck in a bucket anyways? Why go out of your way to look down on and attack people who do like it and do celebrate it? There isn’t any reason to.

Please, for the love of all that is sacred and holy… Realize that it’s ok to not like something- and then promptly move the fuck on with you life; stick to simply disliking the things you don’t like, and save your actual hatred for the stuff that really matters.

More importantly, leave everyone else alone to enjoy their stuff that they like… Because seeing people bitterly arguing with and abusing people over what are ultimately irrelevant matters of personal taste that say little to nothing about us? Is so unbelievably fucking exhausting. And so is being the one constantly looking for things to be bitter about in the first place.

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