i'm a newbie and need help

This is a place to gain some understanding of cat behavior and to assist people in training their cats and dealing with common behavior problems, regardless of the method(s) used. Keep in mind that you may be receiving advice from other cat owners and lovers...not professionals. If you have a major problem, always seek the advice of a trainer or behaviorist!

Member Since 01/25/2013

Purred: Fri Jan 25, '13 9:38am PST

I have two female kittens, 5 months old. I have had them since they were 6 weeks old. My hubby brought to my attention that one of the kittens is being overly aggressive with the other one, and that she is trying to be the dominant cat. For example if I have one kitty on my lap, the other one will run up to her and chase her away. Or if she is on the bed near me, the other one will chase her away. When they are eating, if the one kitty does not finish her food, then the other kitty eats it up. How can I train kitty to share? Please help

I am no expert, but my hubby's aunt, who has 5 cats, she lets the cats work it out on their own. She just stays out of it. I probably wouldn't get involved unless one of the cats is really hurting the other one. We have a similar situation, but slightly different. We took in a kitten that we rescued from the woods behind where I work, in early December. We slowly introduced him to our 5 year old maine coone mix, Taffy. Taffy is a very gentle, sweet boy kitty, and our new rescue is a male kitty. Taffy has been trying to dominate him by standing over him and biting him on the neck. I freaked at first, thinking he was going to kill him, but my 14yo daughter noticed that Stephano (the new kitten) could and would run away if he didn't want Taffy messing with him. Sometimes he does run, and other times he just lays there and takes it. He has not drawn blood or even seem to hurt him in the least, so I have been trying to just stay out of it. Taffy is not a very tough cat and I figure if he didn't put Stephano in his place now while he was a kitten, Stephano would probably walk all over him. So I try to stay out of it. Sometimes, the kitten will not want this behavior and he will chase Taffy down and pounce back on him. I would think you maybe need to let the cats work it out, unless one is hurting the other. That is what I would do anyway.

I free choice feed my cats dry food in multiple dishes and everyone gets their fill. If you're feeding your cats something really tasty such as canned food, or if the one cat is really hungry, its normal for the one cat to finish the other cat's food. You say that the one cat has finished eating what she wants before the other cat finishes her food. Individual kittens grow at different rates, kittens digestive systems are inefficient and accordingly they proportionately eat more food than an adult would. Your one kitten may simply be going through a growth spurt and require more food than you're giving her.

When a cat is on your lap, you're in control of the situation and when the second cat tries to displace the cat already on your lap, tell her something such as leave her alone and squirt a bit of canned air or air freshener into the air near the offending cat. You don't have to aim it at the cat, it's the hissing sound that disciplines the cat. After a few times, you only will have to show the offender the can and the cat will stop the undesired behavior. I expect my cats to understand that there will be no cat quarrels on MY lap. Last thing any human needs is to get in the middle of a cat quarrel. Cats usually don't hurt each other in a quarrel but the same isn't true of human skin that gets in the middle of a cat quarrel!

Other than that, I would let the cats work it out themselves. Almost all cats, even the best of friends, get into a quarrel now and then and in spite of the noise and drama, unless it's a fight between two intact males which is a different situation, most cat quarrels end with both cats uninjured.

Sometimes me and my brofur take turns being the aggressive cat in the family. One day it may be me and the next it may be brofur. If mom hears me squeel from brofur trying to bite me she usually yells at him and he stops.. they are like kids. Tell them no and shush him away and also they will work it out. There is always a more dominant cat in every furmily. sometimes mom just sits and watches us and laughs. We are both 5 and came to the household at the same time- lots of times when there are two cats of the same sex they compete to be HOH, Head of Household. Make them a dish of shredded turkey breast from the deli and make them eat it together a few times, this is called the corporate luncheon. Seriously.. im not joking.