Hackers expose nude photos of celebrities, but who’s at fault?

After stars like Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton and Ariana Grande were quite literally exposed on Sunday by hackers who found and then publicly posted hundreds of nude photos from iCloud, a pseudo-intellectual debate of sorts emerged (where else?) online over who is to blame for such an outrageous injustice.

This elaborate blame game shifts responsibility from an obvious fact: It just isn't wise to keep nude photos of yourself on the cloud if you don't want them made public.

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No, I'm not excusing the hackers, who of course ought to pay for their crimes. Nor am I trying to stifle the right of women to express themselves sexually. I am simply stating what, to most of rational America, is already obvious.

To make this assertion, however, is a profound affront to the self-appointed defenders of things that don't need defending.

Things like Hollywood celebrities, whose lawyers — believe me — are on top of this.

And things like privacy, which also already has its skilled protectors. Hacking into someone's computer, stealing passwords and photos and then posting them (celebrity or not) is already very much illegal, as it should be.

Also things like feminism, which is invoked here for I'm not sure what reason, but presumably because the story involves women who are naked. And for some, that tenuous connection really is enough.

Yet these defenders of the well-defended are downright indignant that you would dare to suggest a simple solution, as if posing for nude pictures is not only the right of every celebrity (who looks as good as Kate Upton does) but nothing short of a feminist statement.

Megan Gibson of Time: "If your reaction to the hack attack on celebrities is to blame them for taking nude photos," she threatens, "you're pointing the finger at the wrong person."

The right person, according to her? The hackers. As I mentioned, reasonable people have already decided that what the hackers did is illegal. I've not read anywhere in the vast repository that is the Internet a single instance of the hackers being defended. So, thank you for correctly identifying the culprit that everyone else has already identified.

The other group deserving of blame, she says? "A culture that nurtures this kind of misogynist attack." And by "culture," she means you, for suggesting celebrities be a little more careful when posing nude for photographs.

Mary Anne Franks, law professor at University of Miami School of Law, wrote on Twitter a response to comedian Ricky Gervais' comments on Twitter regarding the release of hacked nude pictures of celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton. (Twitter)

Amanda Hess on Slate also thinks you're a terrible person for not understanding that the hacking is nothing less than "a widespread attack on female sexual agency," and says "don't take nude selfies" is "gross advice" akin to victim-blaming.

Lena Dunham, a celebrity and a feminist and thus a defender of both celebrities and feminism, put it this way: "The 'don't take naked pics if you don't want them online' argument is the 'she was wearing a short skirt' of the web."

That's right. Now it's like you're telling a rape victim that she deserved it.

Comedian Ricky Gervais found himself at the business-end of these indignant defenders of celebrity and feminism (celebinism? feminebrity?) when he tweeted: "Celebrities, make it harder for hackers to get nude pics of you from your computer by not putting nude pics of yourself on your computer."

He has since deleted the tweet and assured that he thinks the hackers are "100% to blame" in order to appease this class of professionally offended outragists.

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Lena Dunham tweets about the nude images of stars like Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton and Ariana Grande that were placed online after their iCloud accounts were hacked. (Twitter)

The response to rational people like Gervais, in addition to accusing them of slut-shaming and victim-blaming, is to liken the photos to other everyday things we use and don't want stolen.

"Make it harder for hackers to steal your credit card # by not owning a credit card #rickygervaislogic" wrote Professor Mary Anne Franks (@ma_franks) on Twitter.

Um, no. This is the flawed logic of people who can see victims in everything, and yet to whom common sense remains an invisible, elusive mythology.

For one, unless we are fugitives, we must use credit cards. We do not yet live in a world where we must take nude photos (though I'm sure we would if Lena Dunham had her way).

For another, owning things that are valuable, like flashy cars, expensive jewelry or photos of naked celebrities, does actually make you more susceptible to theft. This is not victim-blaming but a fact, and people who own these things know this.

Hackers found and made public hundreds of nude photos of celebrities that were taken from iCloud.

Just as it is rational and reasonable to suggest protecting your credit cards and expensive things from fraud and theft, it is rational and reasonable to suggest the same of your nude photos.

Rational people actually do suggest you don't use credit cards in places like Internet cafes or public Wi-Fi spaces where stealing them is easier, just as rational people like Gervais suggest you don't keep nude photos on your computer, where stealing them is easier.

I'm very sorry we don't live in a world where celebrity nude photos are unhackable. But until we have technology that is 100% impenetrable, doesn't it only make sense to say that if you don't want your nude photos stolen, don't take nude photos with technology that makes their dissemination easy or store them on technology that can be hacked?