fart

I confess I gave this activity little thought until my first trip to Germany. It may just have been the people I happened to met there, but it did appeared to me that recta (pl. of rectum?) and the products thereof seemed to be a frequent topic of conversation, or at least mentioned in the punchline of many jokes. For example, a good Lutheran informed me that Lutherrecommended a healthy fart to banish Satan and his legions from the room. I've remembered the advice for years, but still haven't had the opportunity to test it.

These are common in small crowds of people like elevators; the sound is tentative and timid, often in a series, which of course has no effect on a fart's lethaleffect on the atmosphere; these are produced when the farter lacks the strength of his convictions

These are often quite audible owning to a somewhat moistnature of the sound, suggesting that this is more than "sound and fury, signifying nothing;" this type of fart have been known to stain undergarments... or worse

These are the most gratifying because of the obvious pleasure in producing it; the sound may last for some while owing to the large amount of gas released; men are often given to this class of farting, it has been suggested, because it is the closest they will come to birthing a baby

Fart Statistics

the average daily number of farts ran to about about 9.15; females admitted to 3.28 per day while the men admited to 13.63

When dating or in a monogamousrelationship, people wait on an average 92.77 days before openly farting in the presence of the beloved; 62.98 days for men and 149.82 days for the women.

Quoting Jean Genet's remark that "every man loves the smell of his own farts" the respondents were asked if they have ever farted into the cupped hand and smelled it at close hand, so to speak. An honest 21% admitted that hey had; 10% thought the idea sick. I have no idea what the others said.