The Tribal Mind: Mighty feats

George Miller, the director of Happy Feet, is keen to describe his flick as "an international movie", but given its box office results, it is now safely ensconsed in the annals of Great Australian Hits. In their first week in cinemas the penguins sold $12.2 million worth of tickets, suggesting that by the end of their run they could approach the $35 million made last January by that notorious New Zealand movie The Chronicles of Narnia. These were the takings for the week up to January 1, and the totals so far:

Meanwhile, on the small screen, Channel Nine is in trouble with the Screen Producers Association of Australia for trying to claim a New Zealand show as part of its required local drama content. This was SPAA's statement: "The Screen Producers Association of Australia has called on the Nine Network CEO, Eddie McGuire, to comment on this week's launch of the New Zealand television series Outrageous Fortune. SPAA understands that the Nine Network intends to rely on this Kiwi series to help them notch up the minimum Australian drama points they must reach each year to keep their licence. New Zealand programs can count as local content in Australia.

'It's a cynical act of self-interest,' said Geoff Brown, Executive Director of SPAA. 'Nine has an obligation to broadcast a minimum amount of Australian content for the privilege of holding a public spectrum licence. They have taken the provocative step of showing a 13 part Kiwi series in an off-ratings period at 10.30pm to count towards their Australian Content Standard quota. What's more, this show has been funded by New Zealand taxpayers through one of their Government funding programs. Another free kick to Nine.'

Instead of investing in Australian production for Australian audiences, Nine has abandoned its support of local drama in favour of an offshore acquisition, which they are showing at the latest possible time slot to scrape through mandated regulation, the first time a new Australian drama show has been premiered on a commercial network at such a late hour. 'This fact alone suggests that Nine don't much care whether they get an audience or not, as long as they fulfill their quota as cheaply as they can. Given the low levels of drama production in Australia, it's truly outrageous that Nine be allowed to get away with this.' said Brown."

Focussing on what it does best, Nine is claiming record daytime audiences for the cricket this week. It says Tuesday's Day One of the fourth Test from the Melbourne Cricket Ground scored "the best result in television ratings history", because it averaged 1.68 million viewers across the country. Nine says this was "the highest ever single day audience of any Test match, beating the previous record of 1.44 million set on Day 3 of the third Ashes Test in Perth on December 16, 2006." To compare it with the highest ratings of all time, go to Australia's most watched television.

This was Nine's report: "Cricket fans were glued to their television sets yesterday, waiting for Shane Warne to become the first cricketer to claim 700 Test wickets. That magic moment came at 3.19pm (local time). The spin king thrilled fans with his haul of 5/39 to help Australia bowl England out for 159. Nationally, the Boxing Day Test action attracted a peak audience of 2.27 million viewers at 5.42 pm Sydney time."
Filed by David Dale as a Tribal Mind special, December 28.

Last week's Tribal Mind column:
YOU'RE here to pitch a program idea that will pull huge ratings next year. I'm your best hope and your worst nightmare -- the program director of BCN (Big Commercial Network). Call Me Michael Mott-Worner. My job involves knowing exactly what Australians want. I'm a tough-talking type with a secret sensitive side, and to save us both time, I'll tell you what will hold my attention in this meeting:

Nothing about celebrities. There is no familiar face left who hasn't danced, sung, spelt, skated, been marooned on an island, walked a tightrope, lost weight or improvised in a comedy sketch. And if your pitch includes Dicko, you might as well leave now.

Nothing that involves nostalgia. The 50th birthday is over. We might stretch 20 to 1 and Where Are They Now? a few more months, because the people who like that sort of stuff don't remember they've seen it before anyway. But their grandchildren will soon be old enough to switch channels.

Nothing about lifestyle. Back in 2002, there were 15 renovation or gardening shows in the top 50. This year, there was one. Face it -- no Australian wants to dig or decorate any more.

Nothing about Australian drama. We spent a fortune this year on Tripping Over, persuaded that British blonde to take her clothes off, and we didn't even attract the pervs. The only drama working at the moment is All Saints and that's because we made it like House and put it on after Dancing with the Stars. Any day now the Government will cave in to our lobbying and drop the local content rules so we can buy all our drama from the US.

Does that sound negative? To learn what a programmer does want to hear, look at these lists:

SOARING. The series that gained the most extra viewers this year were House (10), Australian Idol (10), Grey's Anatomy (7) All Saints (7), Seven weekday news (7), Today Tonight (7), NCIS (10).

SURPRISING The top new series were Thank God You're Here (10), It Takes Two (7), The Force (7), Where Are They Now? (7), Prehistoric Park (9), Planet Earth (ABC), What's Good for You (9), Prison Break (7), The Biggest Loser (10).

OK, now you can wow us. What's gonna put BCN on top in 2007?

THE RESULTS
The readers of this column are geniuses. That's apparent from the responses we got last week (above) when Michael Mott-Worner, the Program Director of BCN (Big Commercial Network) challenged you to pitch an idea for a TV series that would grab huge ratings next year. As soon as BCN releases its schedule for 2007, expect to see these powerhouses in prime time:

HomeLand Sci-fi series set in 2050. Australia has had a stable government for 15 years, dissidents are silenced through extensive police powers and the States have been disbanded. A terrorist attack has poisoned Sydney's water supply. Fundamentalist group JI overthrows the Indonesian military and launches an attack on Australia. The show would be set in Canberra (the most logical place millions of displaced Sydneysiders would settle) which goes from a quiet backwater into an overpopulated nightmare. (Jimmy James)

Shine Dramedy about a blonde bowler who battles all-night parties, betting scandals, drugs, affairs, all that stuff that script writers come up with that never occurs in real life. The kid always overcomes these challenges to win the day and the Ashes. (Garry S)

Naomi Featuring celebrities and drawing on the success of talk shows like Oprah, Dr Phil and Jerry Springer, it will explore a range of issues ranging from childhood obesity to the effects of the drought on everyday Australians. Needs somebody named Naomi to host. (Ryan)

CattleClass No bull, no pampering travel show based on the real holidays we all go on. (AlphaVictor)

Peanuts Game show where a television executive takes a dump on the middle of the stage, and contestants fight to pick out the most peanuts with a spoon. All prize money is paid by the advertisers to the executive, the contestants get the peanuts. (Aardvark)

The Redhead Sitcom mix of Yes, Minister and Kath and Kim, set in small town in North Queensland, where one of the quirky locals suggests the fish shop lady runs for parliament. Series ends when she becomes Prime Minister and half the population migrates to New Zealand. (Emily)

Try Following This In an Australian first, the three commercial networks pool their most popular shows (House, CSI, Desperate Housewives etc). Each week, the programs move timeslot, get mixed with repeats, are transmitted out of series order or disappear altogether. Viewers SMS their complaints to a 1900 number, and the network programmer whose scheduling creates the most anger receives the total of the SMS charges. (Cronk)

The Downloaders Reality show that demonstrates the best ways for the public to download their favorite TV, free of charge. Follows a group of 12 to 40 year olds as they search the web for the latest episodes, including Heroes, DH, Prison Break, Lost, NCIS, House, Family Guy. I think this show would be best picked up by the ABC. (PeteC).

Not every theory propounded by this column is a winner. On the basis of last week's ratings, we speculated that The Next Big Thing in television might be a black comedy called Weeds. We thought word of mouth about its evil wit might propel it to the top last night. In fact, its third showing got just 733,000 in the mainland capitals -- half a million less than the number who saw it last week. So Australians are not turning into dope fiends, Nine does not yet have a summer hit, and this column is not a trend spotter. Not even the magnificent Anne Heche in Men in Trees on Wednesday could give Nine the numbers it needs for a summer boost.

That seems an appropriate note on which to bow out for a while. On Friday, this editor is taking a break for eight weeks, and Fairfax shows no sign of appointing anyone else to do the daily update of this blog (though there may be weekly updates). So after responding to any last minute questions today, I will say: Lets meet again in February.

To test yourself on whether you're fit to be an Australian citizen, click here.

Posted
by David DaleDecember 29, 2006 10:07 AM

LATEST COMMENTS

So we're pitching to the Commercial Networks are we?
I suppose that means that something about commitment would be out of the question?

Posted by: david @ wahroonga at December 12, 2006 7:23 AM

Sitcoms and sport.

Posted by: bobmar28 at December 12, 2006 7:40 AM

I have seen all the episodes (so far) for Prison Break - On the Run (Season 2) and it's just awesome.
Even if you did not see the escape and series one, you will pick it up quickly

Posted by: Mikey at December 12, 2006 8:10 AM

Anything but another reality program.

Posted by: Geoff at December 12, 2006 8:33 AM

We happened upon corner gas on SBS Friday 7.30pm and laughed ourselves hoarse. Please more TV from Canada if it's this good.

Posted by: suze at December 12, 2006 8:37 AM

FACE THE MUSIC
Genre: Sitcom
Behind the scenes of a Sunday Morning political interview show, first episode has the regular host suffer a drunken on-air melt down that Glen Milne would be proud of. Desperate Network Exec looking to fill the slot uses disgraced music video show host still under contract to fill in on the next show – but he is an unexpected ratings success due to his blunt style and laid back demeanour, much to the chagrin of his straight laced coworkers.

Series would provide an opportunity to lampoon politicians and hot topics as well as classic sitcom clash of uptight vs uncouth.

Posted by: Jimmy James at December 12, 2006 9:20 AM

MY REEFER RULES
Genre: Reality (Don’t hate!)
Similar in structure to My Resteraunt Rules with a team from each of the major capital cities competing. Rather than running a restaurant contestants have to establish a successful business growing and selling dope, all the while evading detection from the police.

Once the competition is in full swing the teams must take bigger and bigger risks to make more money – at the end the team which has made the most money from the enterprise is declared the winner of the competition, disqualification from the game comes if you are detected by the cops.

Here is the interactive element – instead of SMS voting, viewers can SMS crimestoppers (call cost 55c) with their tip offs on whereabouts of the teams and their crops.

Look for special crossover episodes with The Force.

Posted by: Jimmy James at December 12, 2006 9:31 AM

What about a revamp of The Investigators?

Does that new Nappi-San Ultra Fabbo whitener really work? Like bollocks it does!

Is this week's episode of CSI:NY really "must see TV"? I lean toward "no"

Etc.etc.

Posted by: cronk at December 12, 2006 9:33 AM

WAY DOWN UNDER
Genre: Sitcom
High Flying, Heavily Leveraged Sydney couple get pregnant and have to downshift, decide to move to Tasmania to be close to the woman’s family. This causes no end of grief for the city slicker Husband who is forced to deal with impending fatherhood, being the sole breadwinner, the snail pace of Launceston (doesn’t even have a shopping mall!), two commercial TV stations, old houses, cold weather, crazy inlaws, and bizarre locals.

Posted by: Jimmy James at December 12, 2006 10:11 AM

Interesting that Nine news is going down the pan during silly season - Mike Munro is such a dreadful newsreader I have to turn over if I accidentally tune in.

Posted by: Mark at December 12, 2006 10:21 AM

LATE NIGHT TELEVISION
Genre: Sketch Comedy
A Show with a narrow focus of satirising Late Night TV, Send ups of Celebrity Poker, Hotdogs, Sex Line Commercials, The Religious Programming, Pro-Active solutions, GMA, Cops, Entertainment Tonight, the SBS Webcam Weather – the material is endless.

Posted by: Jimmy James at December 12, 2006 10:26 AM

SH!T SOUP
Genre: Clip Show
In the US there’s a show called Talk Soup which does a round up of all the Daytime programming so people with jobs can check out the good bits they missed – this would be the Aussie version – the title explains it all!

Posted by: Jimmy James at December 12, 2006 10:29 AM

Hey TM, could you please tell me how The West Wing performed last night? Thanks in advance.

Tribal Mind replies: 676,000

Posted by: Samuel123 at December 12, 2006 10:41 AM

PEANUTS
Genre: Game Show
A television executive takes a dump on the middle of the stage, contestants fight to pick out the most peanuts with a spoon. All prize money is paid by the advertisers to the executive, the contestants get the peanuts.

...sorry you said no reality shows.

Posted by: aardvark at December 12, 2006 11:00 AM

NAOMI
Genre : Primetime Talk Show
Hosted by Naomi Robson (TV's Today Tonight), this captivating new series will be a first for Australian television. Drawing on the success of key overseas talk show's like Oprah, Dr Phil and Jerry Springer, NAOMI will explore a range of issues ranging from Childhood obesity to the effects of the drought on everyday Australians. NAOMI will feature celebrities and other influential media personalities. NAOMI can be best described as Oprah meets The View, with a touch of Australiana.

Posted by: Ryan at December 12, 2006 11:18 AM

With the summer fare (read: crap) that's been imposed on us by the commercial stations, can we be far away from Quizmania Primetime Edition?

Posted by: drb123 at December 12, 2006 11:39 AM

A sporting drama about a young blonde Victorian bowler who rises to the top of his trade and his many dramas along the way. We could throw in all night parties, betting scandals, drugs, affairs etc, you know all that good sort of stuff that script writers come up with, that never occurs in real life. But the kid always overcomes these challenges and setbacks to win the day and the Ashes. Eddie would love it.

Posted by: Garry S at December 12, 2006 11:46 AM

This one’s a bit sketchier – but could make an interesting show.

HOMELAND
Genre: Sci-Fi
Set in the 2050, Australia has had a stable incumbent government for 15 years and the laws have been radically changed, dissidents are silenced through extensive police powers and the states have been disbanded. The country has suffered a terrorist attack where Sydney’s water supply was poisoned – forcing the nation’s biggest population to be evacuated and creating a homeless underclass.

The nations problems are compounded when terror group JI – acting with the backing of a nation much more powerful than Indonesia – overthrows the Indonesian military and launches an attack on Australia.

The series will focus on the upper ranks of the ADF coming to grips with it’s worst case scenario – an invasion force, whilst corrupted government institutions strip the nation’s people of their prosperity. Basically the hook for the show will be to cast Australia in a reversed role situation under a pseudo-dictatorship but have the show told through the eyes of Military characters who still believe in democracy but face difficult choices and extraordinary situations.

The show would be set in Canberra (the most logical place millions of displaced Sydneysiders would settle) which goes from a quiet backwater into an overpopulated nightmare.

Posted by: Jimmy James at December 12, 2006 11:47 AM

SURPRISE!
Genre: Mixed Bag

Every week, Jules Lund introduces another Z grade "celebrity" to help him host his show. We don't know what it is going to be about, because every week is a format that the TV execs know won't get passed the pilot.
There's a tribute to Jasmin Gets Married, a long-awaited new episode of The Master, the final 1/2 hour of Doug Mulrays Naughtiest Commercials, and an endless array of failed TV from years passed. Georgie Parker reminisces about Genius, Tony Barber returns with another episode of Jeopardy! and so on.

Hilarity ensues....

Posted by: cronk at December 12, 2006 12:32 PM

That number for Dynasties is surprising. Surely it has not been rating that well over past weeks. I think the series has been excellent and am glad others have found it, however I think the figure reflects the dearth of programming in that slot elsewhere last night.

Posted by: The long line at December 12, 2006 1:12 PM

I know I was in my own little world yesterday but was there some big news event that past me by? Or are we all just going to bed early so anything after 8 does not rate? Why else were 6 of the top 7 shows news or current affairs?

Posted by: Cat at December 12, 2006 1:17 PM

Hi,
I love watching the cricket, in fact i love watching most live sport. However what I dont like is listerning to the inane dribble that channel 9 call comentators (for those who have got Boned! - the latest offering from the 12th man they will understand from whence i come). Back in the days of analogue tv, I would WATCH channel nines coverage of the cricket with the volume muted, and LISTEN to ABC's excelent coverage on the radio. now that I have got digital tv - the picture appears to be several seconds behind the action (ie the radio has described the ball being smashed to the fence while freddie is still at the top of his run).

Is there an inexpensive way of delaying the radio that 2 seconds so i can still enjoy the crisp digital picture and the enlightening comentry from the ABC? I have tried listerning to the radio via the web (as it is also delayed) but the delay on this is longer than the delay on digital tv?

Hope there is a techno-savvy cricket buff out there somewhere who can help.

Posted by: leonard at December 12, 2006 1:22 PM

It is time to bring back the sitcom! There is no reason why we can't do more good sitcoms here. Just look at the success of kath and kim.
Doesn't matter what the actual setting is, just get good writers and good actors and you can make a sitcom about anything.

An idea:
I OBJECT
Genre: Sitcom
Alana is a single mother who works in a Sydney law firm by day and deals with her children by night. Her 19 year old daughter goes to Uni and her 17 year old son is on youth allowance and is supposed to be job hunting. They live in an apartment in Rockdale with other interesting residents of varying cultures and backgrounds. Hilarity ensues.

Posted by: DragonLass at December 12, 2006 1:23 PM

Bring back Australia's Most Wanted!

Surely that would rate with all the police reality tv on from Australia & NZ.

Posted by: Martin Lester at December 12, 2006 1:38 PM

Show: CattleClass
Genre: No Bull No Pampering Travel Show

This is a real holiday travel show. No Getaway or Great Outdoor celebs in Business Class, no $500 a night hotel rooms, no private limo transfers. These are the real holidays we all go on.

Hosted by 3 average Aussie Travel Agents - (the guys that have more travel know-how in their little finger than the whole of the Getaway cast combined and who you rely on to book your dream holiday) - 1 doctor (to tell you about that rash you've just picked up in Bali) and 1 Psychiatrist (mental health, etc fear of flying)

A "no bull" look at flying cheap and nasty on Jetstar, how to get a Qantas flight attendent up off their butt during the flight to L.A, how to avoid the hotel room near the garbage dump and how to get the most out of holiday to Asia without spending $12,000 as highlighted last week by The Great Outdoors.

Real Holidays, Real Bargains - all in "CattleClass"

Posted by: AlphaVictor at December 12, 2006 1:59 PM

Firstly, Jimmy James your talents are wasted in Australia.

Secondly, for my money the two best shows that came out of Oz recently were 10's The Surgeon and SBS's RAN. Both dramas which breaks the #5 rule for the new BCN.

Both shows could easily be placed alongside the likes of Wildside, Phoenix and Seachange for great drama.

Is it too much to ask for good Australian fair rather than the pap we get fed from the marketing depts of the broadcasters ie Tripping Over?

The rule shouldn't be that you can't have Australian drama. The rule should be that the drama has to be worthwhile.

Why can't BCN be our HBO?

Posted by: shaygb at December 12, 2006 2:10 PM

How about a remake of the plasticine hit Celebrity Deathmatch, but this time with real celebrities?

Or celebrities in a you've got the job kind of deal where they actually have to justify why they have their particular job. Then if they get voted off, Centrelink brings in their dole bludger of the week to do the celeb's job and see if they can do it better.

Posted by: Killer Bees at December 12, 2006 2:15 PM

I think Naomi would be good ona Panel show like the view, I also think the Networks should look at getting Free to air rights of Love My Way, I don't think it would set the rating on fire but could work for Ten's desired demographic

Posted by: CheckOnIt! at December 12, 2006 3:45 PM

I was wondering if u could please tell me if channel 7 will be bringing greys anatomy back in february. or if they are going to wait until Desperate Housewives has finished and put it on then.

Posted by: Mary at December 12, 2006 3:54 PM

That PEANUTS is the greatest idea for a show ever!

Posted by: Jimmy James at December 12, 2006 4:31 PM

The Lodge
Genre: Political drama

Set in 2005, this drama follows the trial and tribulation of the newly elected ALP prime minister, Lath Markam, based around this maverick leader who likes to keep a journal. He ran away with a surprise victory in the 2004 elections after his rival, Johnny Somebody, was stabbed in the back by some guy with the initials PC.

Along the way, we get to know the staffers, and it turns out its these guys who make all the decisions anyway. While the theme of initial settlement into government hangs over the whole of season 1, each episode is also characterised by various crises, ranging from PM Markam punching out the comcar driver to the shocking sight of the PM's wife actually saying something of substance in public.

Posted by: Hinn at December 12, 2006 4:54 PM

Nothing with Lara Bingle, she might be a little on the nose. After weeks of doing the email rounds, the Fevola rumour hit the news, him splitting from his wife while being linked to Bingle.

Posted by: jed at December 12, 2006 6:45 PM

For all those wanting Naomi to continue talking. Please STOP!

She has no real chemistry with people so her doing a panel show would a horrid idea.

By the way TM, do you have any idea how much channel 10 paid for Tripping Over? You keep saying it was expensive but how much exactly?

And who is this british blonde who took her clothes off. I must of been here on the blog that night and missed it.

Posted by: steve at December 12, 2006 8:42 PM

(with apologies to Lewis Black)
'STEAMING PILE OF S**T'
An exciting new show, which simply features a steaming pile of s**t on the screen. That is all the viewer sees, it alsts for one primetime hour a week.
After 4 four weeks a number appears on screen, inviting people to ring in and guess which celebrity the s**t belongs to.
It would be the ULTIMATE hit!

Posted by: andy at December 12, 2006 9:12 PM

Sitcom: Name -
The Redhead

Set in small town in North Queensland. Series about a Redheaded lady who runs a fish and chip shop. One day one of the quirky locals suggests she runs for parliament. She decides it is a good idea as she knows what the average Aussie thinks and wants. Or thinks she does. So runs for parilament and causes a huge stir around the country much to the horror of Canberra politicians. They then plot ways to get rid of her with hilarious results.
Series is a mix of "Yes,Minister" and Kath and Kim.
Series ends when she becomes Prime Minister and half the population immigrates to New Zealand in disgust.

Posted by: emily at December 13, 2006 9:02 AM

"TRY FOLLOWING THIS"

Genre: TV Network programmers have a larf.

In an Australian first, all three commercial networks pool their most popular shows (House, CSI, DH etc).
Each week, the programs move timeslot, get mixed with repeats, are transmitted out of series order or simply disappear all together.
Viewers need to SMS their angry complaints to a 1900 number, and the network programmer who's scheduling creates the most vented anger receives the sum total of the SMS charges.

Posted by: cronk at December 13, 2006 9:31 AM

The New Investigators would be an excellent return, perhaps could screen after The New Inventors ?

Corinne Grant would be an excellent host .

The investigating team could include her Glass House colleagues Dave and Wil, plus Myf Warhurst for probing pieces on music and talent contests, such as the pitfalls of entering viewer elimination programmes in the hope of winning a record contract.

Another show that should definitely return for a 3rd series is Blue Water High.

Perhaps Tahnya Tozzi could return for the 3rd series, to assist Sophie Luck at the Surf Academy.

A new Solar Blue recruit, could be Tahnya's sister, Cheyenne.

Posted by: Terry at December 13, 2006 9:41 AM

Don't need three minutes. Just give The Glass House a new home seeing the stupd A B friggin' C was so stupid as to sack the cast. Guaranteed top rating show if you bung it on at its usual time slot of 9.30 pm.

Posted by: Maureen at December 13, 2006 9:50 AM

"We thought word of mouth about its evil wit might propel it to the top last night. In fact, its third showing got just 733,000 in the mainland capitals -- half a million less "
TM is that suppose to be 233,000?.

Tribal Mind replies: Last night it got 733,000. Last week it got a total of 1.2 million between its first showing and the new viewers on its second showing.

Posted by: bugzy at December 13, 2006 10:13 AM

WEEDS ratings fell? Maybe all Channel Nine viewers are so sceptical about the network keeping quality drama on air in regular, accessible timeslots that no-one bothers committing to an intelligent ongoing series. I loved the episode last night.
If Channel Nine want to increase early evening ratings in 2007, they would be wise to consider a more appropriate lead-in program for Family Feud than Antiques Roadshow. NO - not Fresh Prince repeats again...
As for the concepts listed above - MY REEFER RULES and FACE THE MUSIC are excellent. Was the person who suggested NAOMI kidding?
Also, CATTLE CLASS is a great idea - a more budget travel show would be great for Ten or even for NINE to show another night of the week in addition to Getaway.

Posted by: Jonster at December 13, 2006 10:59 AM

Hey SiT, just wanted to know how Outrageous Fortune on ch9 at 10.30 Monday night went compared to Boston Legal and also how did the teen drama, Life As We Know It on ch7 at 10.30 compared to Comedy Inc last night?, Thanking you in advance

A TV show outlining the best ways for the public to download their favorite TV show, free of charge. Shows a group of 10, 12 to 40 year olds, and follows their ability to watch the latest TV shows from overseas as soon as they are shown in the States, including Heroes, Desperate Housewives, Prison Break, Lost, NCIS, House, Family Guy, The Simpsons and more.

I think this show would be best picked up by the ABC.

Posted by: PeteC at December 13, 2006 11:06 AM

I tried watching the first episode of Weeds last week and thought it was trying too hard to be oooh ... controversial. Didn't watch it last night and didn't miss it.

It's a pity because I was looking for a decent replacement for The Sopranos, which finished during the week; OZ, which has the final ever episode next Monday night on SBS & NYPD Blue is nearing its finale in coming weeks.

I would be nice if Ten would show the brillant 'The Shield' at some stage soon. I'd rather that than endless repeats of Medium, Law & Order and whatever garbage that Ten is showing at the moment. They didn't even crack it for a top 10 spot last night!! How embarrasing, even the ABC had 3 shows rate better than the dross on Ten.

Anyway, David thanks for your great work during the year, enjoy the break and we look forward to more good ol' TV banter in 2007.

Posted by: Sacs at December 13, 2006 11:08 AM

Looks like Ch 9 is taking my advice and producing an Australian version of 'The View' next year for daytime TV. They have included it on their show reel for advertisers for 2007. Family Feud is a notable exclusion, but Bert is back with more 20 to 1. Unfortunately, no mention of critically acclaimed 'Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip' either. 'Sea Patrol' looks like a good Aussie drama.
Ch 10 is bragging about reality and more reality.
Meanwhile Ch 7 has all the hit yank shows like 'Ugly Betty', 'Heroes' 'Shark'. They are also storing a big programming surprise for Sunday nights in 2007. Could this mean Greys Anatomy vs CSI?

Posted by: J Bar at December 13, 2006 11:08 AM

how did the oC go last night?
did it rate aswell as last weeks epi???

Tribal Mind replies: 737,000. About the same.

Posted by: Shez at December 13, 2006 11:09 AM

Hey TM thanks for the years work, really appreciated! Just wondering how the O.C went last night. Thanks!!

Posted by: Nick at December 13, 2006 11:10 AM

thanks for your excellent column this year david, I eagely await your return...............maxi

Posted by: maxi at December 13, 2006 11:35 AM

Hi TM - Thanks for all your work on this blog during the year (considering you weren't paid...it was a very fine effort!). I really enjoyed reading the blog throughout the year - it was very addictive.
Have a good break and look forward to your updates next year. It should be a very interesting 2007 ratings year. If Seven can't win next year with the line-up they have...they they never will!!

Posted by: Helena at December 13, 2006 11:39 AM

how did Charmed rate last night.

Tribal Mind replies: 554,000

Posted by: srdjan at December 13, 2006 11:58 AM

TM/SiT it has been a great column and an entertaining blog. Hopefully someone with an ear to the nets will read some of these ideas - some of them are actually really good, I esp think that CATTLE CLASS show is a great idea

Posted by: at December 13, 2006 12:11 PM

PAPERCUT
Genre: Sitcom
Impressionable Canberra youngster joins the federal public service in the personnel division of a large department. He is part of a massive training intake to cover the centralisation of the department. He and his contemporaries are introduced to the heady world of flex time, 2 hr lunches, morning teas, training seminars about nothing, filing, folios, cigarette breaks, free internet access, Leo Sayer, OH&S, and bizarre career advancement all in the most slack workplace known to man ? the Australian Public Service!

Posted by: Jimmy James at December 13, 2006 12:42 PM

have a wonderful break.
your blog is a great read on my 'breaks'.

Posted by: lily at December 13, 2006 12:47 PM

BLACK SHEEP
Genre: Action Drama
A man who is an outcast in his own family, is stunned to find them being picked off one by one, he now must fake his own death, assume a new identity, and hunt for the killers and discover their motive, before he becomes the next target.

Posted by: Jimmy James at December 13, 2006 12:47 PM

JEHOVAH’S WITNESS
Genre: Sitcom
An young devout evangelical Christian spends his first night in the big smoke only to discover that God himself lives in his university dorm, rather than live up to the image he had in his mind, God is a hard drinking, party animal who has lot touch with his flock – it the (G) odd couple for the new millennium, an each has something to teach the other!

Posted by: Jimmy James at December 13, 2006 1:03 PM

Merry BushMess TM and thanks for all the fish!
When in Feb are you back?

Posted by: Cat at December 13, 2006 1:03 PM

If Nine are looking at their overall news ratings perhaps the Perth results of 84,000 to Seven's 216,000 - a difference in favour to Seven of 132,000 viewers - may hold the key. Perhaps it's time to take a look way out west and acknowledge that all viewers count in the long run.

TM have a wonderful break and thanks.

Posted by: VJ at December 13, 2006 1:08 PM

I also enjoyed Weeds last night (the show, not the substance) although I missed the last 10mins?
I had taped it and the tape cut off after an hour but show seems to have run over time. What happen after the deaf girlfriend called the son a "junior perv"? Anything? It could just be my perception but Ch 9 do seem to be putting rather a large number of ads on during Weeds, more so than usual for prime time? Any idea of how to know this for certain, other than a stop watch? Finally, big thanks DD for running this blog this year, it has been fun to read each day... Merry christmas ! May you never become a BCN, we will lose this blog to the dark side :)

Posted by: kate at December 13, 2006 1:28 PM

Thanks David for all your work during the year. It had been very much appreciated. Have a very good holiday. You deserve it.

Posted by: David at December 13, 2006 2:03 PM

TM: Two quick questions for you. Now that the summer ratings period is here, and it is obvious that Seven didn't have any faith in it during the ratings period, is there any chance the final season of Alias will ever be shown on Channel Seven?
Also, at the beginning of the year Channel Nine was heavily publising it's new show Invasion, and to my recollection I can't remember seeing it during the year. Does Nine ever plan to show this series or has it gone the way of Rome?

Tribal Mind replies: This was covered in last week's blog. Seven promises to show Alias in February or March, but it may be late at night. Invasion will probably also be a late nighter, like Rome this week.

Posted by: Andrew at December 13, 2006 2:32 PM

Genre: Game Show
Who wants to be a asylyum seekr: Watch as 200 refugees with negligible means, try and escape third world oppression. Watch the contestants as they go from negotiating passage on on a fishing boat, to nearly sinking, and then being rescued by a container ship. See if they can negotiate past pirates, border security and a constantly tightening border to a life of freedom. Winners receive a 2 year, all expenses paid holiday in an detention centre before being given the opportunity to try again

Posted by: drb123 at December 13, 2006 2:58 PM

The premise for 'Papercut' sounds exactly like 'Stupid, Stupid Man' which just finished on Foxtel. Just replace Canberra public service with office of a men's magazine. Leo Sayer actually appeared in every ep.
Bloggers, don't forget that the repeats of 'We Can be Heroes' begin on the ABC tonight.

Posted by: J Bar at December 13, 2006 3:01 PM

Top column David and I look forward to it next year.

Posted by: Dr_DK at December 13, 2006 4:15 PM

weeds is an awesome show, witty with great jokes and interesting characters and plot lines. However the whole weed aspect is quite unrealistic.

Posted by: Stacey Jean at December 13, 2006 6:02 PM

Hey TM - did I get a "prize" for guessing that Dean Geyer is likely to replace Axle Whitehead on Video Hits. I made that guess the morning after the Arias. Actually, during the night of the Arias.. now it has finally hit the newspaper rumour mill.... O.k. no prize :) Once again wonderful Chrissy to all... To Stacey, who said that the whole weed aspect is quite unrealistic... yes, but the truth of suburban Californian life could be even stranger than the fiction of Weeds.

Posted by: kate at December 13, 2006 9:27 PM

Dear TM, before you sign off for the year, perhaps you could tell us what have been your television highlights for 2006?
It seems to be the time of year when everyone is making lists and I'd be interested to read what you and other TM posters would consider to be the best TV of '06.

Posted by: craig at December 13, 2006 10:35 PM

Hey TM

thanks for the info you've given all year. One last quick question...are commercials that are shown on free to air networks statewide or nation wide

Because in NSW (Sydney at least) the Westfields in Parramatta has been advertised heavily in recent months and i can imagine it being a waste to advertise when only people in NSW would be able to actually get to Parramatta.

unless what i was reading is wrong, Weeds in the US only gets around 500,000 people a week (which i guess isn't bad for a cable show)

So that in fact means Weeds has a bigger audience here then in the US. Which i guess would mean that Weeds wouldn't be that expensive to secure the rights to...so it may very well stick around

Posted by: steve at December 13, 2006 11:57 PM

@JBar

That's scary man - I don't have cable and haven't taken notice of the show. (After seeing Shock Jock years ago I was pretty dubious anyway!) When I used to work in the APS we had this running obsession with Leo - don't know why - he's just funny! Better scratch that idea if they're already making it!

Posted by: Jimmy James at December 14, 2006 1:08 AM

Last night ABC had some good programming going on.

We Can Be Heroes is all class, and was followed by ManStrokeWoman, a Brit sketch com that was quite funny all up.

Some of us still watch telly in the summertime.

Posted by: cronk at December 14, 2006 9:30 AM

Merry Chrissy TM. Have a good break. We look forward to your return. When does the new rating period start next year?

Steve,
I think you'll find that free-to-air advertisements are shown on a regional basis. Here in Bathurst in NSW we get ads for businesses in Bathurst, Orange and Dubbo, which I guess reflects the broadcast area of our TV stations. Also, don't forget that beyond capital cities Channel 7 is (effectively) Prime and Channel 9 is (effectiveyl) WIN so there are also slight changes in programming between Sydney and the various regions of the State. If they can make changes to programming across different areas of the State (including showing local news bulletins at 6pm each weeknight for different regions), then you can be sure that they can tailor the ads to each geographic area too.

Posted by: SRG at December 14, 2006 10:44 AM

Title - Boned
Genre - Sitcom
An hilarious, behind the scenes look at the antics of a group of TV network employees and talent as they try and hold on to their jobs.
Stars Freddie McGuire as "The Boss"

Posted by: Harry Fong at December 14, 2006 1:43 PM

TM - Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas, and let's all wish on ourselves better FTA viewing next year!
Enjoy your break....I look forward to reading your next entry in the New Year.
Keep safe everyone.

Posted by: AJ at December 14, 2006 2:39 PM

this might be going against the whole no reality tv suggestions but i would sure as hell watch a big brother style show with a bit more diversity and clashes, like having a nun in there, and then a hooker, and a homeless hippie save the animals kinda person, then an old conservative grandma, then a feminine gay guy, and other people that are different and opinionated, not the usual 20 year old tanned beautiful people talking about sex 24/7

just my idea

Posted by: brendon at December 14, 2006 3:12 PM

Hi there TM, just wanted to wish you and your family a happy Christmas from Dubai and look forward to checking in with you again in the new year.

Posted by: Daniel in Dubai at December 14, 2006 3:18 PM

Thanks you TM. Hope you have a fabulous vacation. It's been great to see how the ratings have panned out throught the year.

Tribal Mnd sneaks in again: Thanks for the kind sentiments expressed here. I'll look in occasionally and insert the odd bit of information when I get it.

Posted by: SC at December 14, 2006 3:26 PM

@ brendon re: Big Brother

I agree - and add in a heroin addict, a smoker and an alcoholic, all of whom would have to go cold turkey in the house.

put in a sex-addict, a fat chef, a long distance runner, a rock climber etc etc.

try to find people for whom confinement in a house would drive them nuts.

Posted by: cronk at December 14, 2006 5:18 PM

Posted by: SRG at December 14, 2006 10:44 AM
Thanks SRG
That was i suspected about the TV ads and such. Thanks for sharing your knowledge of the topic
Merry Xmas

Posted by: steve at December 14, 2006 5:47 PM

merry christmas TM (and everyone else), enjoy ur break.. and hear from you again next year!

Posted by: Clem at December 14, 2006 11:49 PM

What a fantastic year of TV commentating - I ve found this blog so informative and interesting. I m sad that there won't be any more blogs until Feb but hope you have a great break David and I look forward to more provocative TV reading in 07.
Sandra

Posted by: Sandra at December 15, 2006 11:39 AM

Have a nice Christmas TM.

Just like to say "Men in Trees" was excellent. Hope it stays around on nine and I am not reduced to downloading. Just checked on the web and it is being renewed for more episodes in the US. I liked it , it was a sort of female version of Northern Exposure one of my all time fav shows.
Nine should move it to an earlier time slot and give it a chance. It just may take off.
Merry Christmas

Posted by: wendy at December 15, 2006 12:46 PM

TM, where are the RATINGS for FRIDAY and SATURDAY - how did Smallville and Veronica Mars perform?

Tribal Mind replies: If you read the column above and the comments above, you will see that we're on a break till February. Because Fairfax has not replaced the editor, there will be no regular ratings of the kind you seek. It's the newspaper silly season too. I will pop in occasionally to note major transformations in viewing habits. There has been no major transformation with Smallville or Veronica Mars. Sadly, the vast mass of Australians continue to shun them.

Posted by: phil at December 17, 2006 11:23 AM

The cricket overrun in the eastern states really hurt the ratings for Carols in the Domain in Sydney. Seven deliberately delayed the start of the Carols (which celebrate its 25th anniversary next year) to 8.40pm but the cricket did not finish until 9.05pm! It will pave the way for a massive audience for Carols by Candlelight in Melbourne next week.
Thanks for all your work during the year TM. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Posted by: johnson at December 17, 2006 4:36 PM

NINE does have a summer hit its called cricket. Happy xmas and New year to you TM.

Posted by: John at December 17, 2006 4:57 PM

Thank You TM
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Posted by: phil at December 18, 2006 8:18 AM

Dear Mr Big Commercial Network, Why not pick up The Glass House?

Solid Ratings, Aunty did all your development work - if the abc web site is any thing to go by, people are still really peeved it got axed in the first palce.

Posted by: Alison at December 18, 2006 11:33 AM

Does anyone know why American Idol 4 was not shown on Saturday? Is Ten ditching the show? I was rather upset waiting for it and found bloody Bank to the Future!!

Posted by: ozboy1999 at December 18, 2006 12:26 PM

Nine's outlook for 2007 just gets worse and worse - their new Ted Danson comedy, Help Me Help You, has just been axed by the ABC network in the US.

Posted by: Fielding at December 18, 2006 1:24 PM

Ozboy1999: Ten re-scheduled American Idol to midday Saturday.
BTW, how annoying was Deborah Byrne on Specky Xmas last night? We all know she has issues but she sh!ts me to tears!!!

Posted by: Sacs at December 18, 2006 2:50 PM

Added to 9's woes - they are bringing back dancing on ice .... I thought they would have learnt the first time.

Posted by: Geoff at December 18, 2006 3:26 PM

Sacs wrote: BTW, how annoying was Deborah Byrne on Specky Xmas last night? We all know she has issues but she sh!ts me to tears!!!

Iknow! She was almost as annoying as Georgie Parker when she appeared on the Glass House! Which was a shame, I felt it really got in the way of an otherwise hilarious show!

Must say, with non-ratings season upon us, the only 'gems' I have found is Channel 7 FINALLY playing the last season of Will & Grace (although I feel they should have started the season again, even late at night so we could catch up, I had forgotten that Grace was pregnant!), That 70s show (makes me wish I could get pay tv so I could watch it all year round), New Adventures of Old Christine (which I missed due to it being up against... I think Lost, but anyway, i'm really enjoying it, I hope they give it a good timeslot next year, considering Julia Louis-Dreyfuss won the Emmy for Best Actress for it) and of course Weeds! Those two shows are the only shows i've watched on channel 9 this year. SHows how gutless their programmers are, if they gave stuff like that a chance during the year, maybe the would get more younger viewers.

Happy Holidays to everyone who has been a part of the TM/SIT experience, looking forward to blogging in earnest when TM gets back from holidays!

Posted by: beckala at December 19, 2006 9:28 AM

Hmmm, a new Ted Danson comedy that bombed? Quel suprise.

Deb Byrne certainly looked a bit tanked on Speccy Xmas.

And oh, dear, what in the name of living God was that sh**e on Ch9 last night - Outrageous Fortune? Kiwi's should be ashamed of themselves.

The Master - bets on how long this one lasts. I say three weeks.

Posted by: cronk at December 19, 2006 9:48 AM

Hi, What were the figures for the biggest loser finale?? If you have them. Thanks!!

Posted by: Nick at December 19, 2006 11:21 AM

I haven't watched Weeds on TV but have seen the first two seasons of the show (it truly is excellent with thousands of plot twists and great acting AND it won Golden Globes what more can you want?).

The reason why it is going for longer / has more ads may be because instead of the usual 22 minutes of a half hour TV show in the US, Weeds has been produced by Showtime (I think?) and therefore is usually well over that - sometimes the show stretches to 29 or 30 minutes in length *without* the ads.

I really encourage everyone to stick with it. You won't regret it. It's just been signed on for a third season in the US which is a lot more than I can say about other shows Nine is planning on showing!

And finally, the new biggest hit is Heroes (check out www.tv.com). You don't get much better.

Posted by: tara at December 19, 2006 12:08 PM

I am enjoying New Adventures of Old Christine it is a show that you need a few eps or so to grow on you, Julia does phyisical comedy well, enjoying Weeds and the last eps of Charmed,Third Watch and Will and Grace.
For all of those OC fans tune in, last weeks ep was quite funny great summer viewing. Sad no Gilmore Girls.
A big thank you to the ABC for the West Wing I know most fans have either downloaded or brought the DVD's but I haven't an I am really enjoying this intellegent drama.
Over the Christmas New Year period I will catch a few eps of the friends and Will & Grace marathon on Foxtel and waiting for the next ep of Entourage. Of course spending time with family and friends.
Merry Christmas to all the bloggers and TM for this great site I have enjoyed reading all the comments and for getting me hooked on new shows like Mythbusters.

Posted by: shelly at December 19, 2006 1:41 PM

Cronk, Seven debuted the Master earlier in the year and it was a ratings disaster, so they yanked it from the schedule after the first episode. Now that it's the non-ratings period they're burning off the 5 or 6 episodes that were taped.

Posted by: Fielding at December 19, 2006 5:36 PM

Does anyone know what's happened to charmed???

Posted by: steve at December 19, 2006 9:05 PM

It's not for everyone, but for viewers unable to download episodes (season 4 just finished it's run in the US), Nine slotted (on Dec. 18 Monday night - Tuesday morning at 12 am) 2 year old season 3 episodes of the HBO cop show The Wire, one of the best TV shows of all time. It should be back after a 2 week break.

Posted by: CSquires at December 20, 2006 8:31 AM

Does anyone know what happened to Charmed last night? Channel 10 what are you doing?????

Posted by: Tas at December 20, 2006 8:33 AM

@ Fielding

Thanks for that. I thought I had seen The Master before somewhere.

More on that steaming pile Outrageous Fortune: Apparently Ch9 are in a bit of hot water over it because they have tried to count it as local content, when in fact it is a NZ import. They have been told that they cannot count it as local and must produce something else.

Posted by: cronk at December 20, 2006 9:37 AM

Yeah what happened to Charmed 10 ?,The OC ratings are up a bit from the last few weeks so it would have been a great lead in.

Posted by: shelly at December 20, 2006 1:20 PM

To Tas & Steve on where is charmed
Have just called Channel programming they say week after next which should be 2 January... shall we watch this space?

Posted by: Cathy at December 20, 2006 1:26 PM

Thanks Cathy. And, yes, we shall be watching this space with interest!

Posted by: Tas at December 20, 2006 3:11 PM

Thanks Cathy
I think channel 10 must be getting rid of the remaining episodes of Celeb Joker Poker during the holiday season.
Aren't channel 7 doing the same with the show Masters or something?
Oh and joy, ACA beat TT last night :) (Grimshaw fan)

Posted by: steve at December 20, 2006 10:55 PM

it concerns me that the top 5 shows of Tuesday are sensationalist crap.

Matt, they all sound about right. Although Australia's Got Talent looks a bit low.

I reckon it might get more like 1.2m

The Con Test is going to be 5 nights a week so will it go up against Temptation/H&A or the 9/7 news?

And does that mean it won't run during Big Brother & Biggest Loser?

Posted by: Earthquake at December 21, 2006 2:29 PM

Meanwhile, I have just heard that Nine were spewing so much about missing out on the Sydney fireworks that they bought a replacement... The Melbourne fireworks!
So NYE isn't safe from Richard Wilkins it seems! Let's just hope drunken partiers don't turn on 9 and watch the fireworks and think "what happened to the Opera House?".

Posted by: Earthquake at December 21, 2006 3:58 PM

David Letterman starts on TEN from 2nd Jan @ 11.15pm.

Posted by: mark at December 21, 2006 4:13 PM

Earthquake, I'm pretty sure that Nine televised the Melbourne NYE fireworks last year. And Richard Wilkins wasn't a part of the telecast then, so I wouldn't expect him to be a part of it this year.

Posted by: T-Mac at December 21, 2006 5:07 PM

David Letterman starts on TEN from 2nd Jan @ 11.15pm.
Posted by: mark at December 21, 2006 4:13 PM
When is Dr Phil going to air on 10? I don't watch much but I'm just curious.

Posted by: John at December 21, 2006 5:36 PM

Bill_B said:
"it concerns me that the top 5 shows of Tuesday are sensationalist crap."
Ditto for Wednesday..... in fact most nights.
Only bogans have ratings boxes I guess!

Posted by: Sal at December 21, 2006 6:39 PM

Very sad to see the hits will be Reality programs and game shows. I suppose quality programming is all washed up in this country.

Posted by: Geoff at December 21, 2006 8:41 PM

@ matt reilly, no way is So You Think You Can Dance Australia going to get 1.6mil. The US version isn't doing big numbers, there is no way the Australia version will do any better.

Posted by: bugzy at December 22, 2006 10:35 AM

Wendell Sailor on DWTS? Please.

Posted by: cronk at December 22, 2006 11:15 AM

Has anyone heard when Grey's Anatomy is coming back on-air next year? Thanks to anyone who can shed any light on this for me!

Tribal Mind replies: No decision has been made yet, but most likely Seven will follow the pattern of the past two years and put it on in the second half, replacing Desperate Housewives on Monday night.

Posted by: beckala at December 22, 2006 3:51 PM

Any Ratings for the christmas eve carols. Thanks!!

Tribal Mind replies: Sorry, no ratings available till next week.

Posted by: Nick at December 27, 2006 6:26 PM

It's funny that article on Nine not having enough local production. Nine would have us believe that of all the channels, it has the most Australian content. Just saw a promo for '2007 channel 9' that they do and they listed off all their aussie programing.

Posted by: steve at December 27, 2006 9:08 PM

I am just loving Men In Trees....is a great show!! I have to agree with " Wendy - 15th December ", I wish 9 would put it on earlier....at 8:30pm would be wonderful!!

Posted by: LoveMyMcDreamy at December 28, 2006 11:23 AM

whats happend to the oc?? i saw that charmed is taking it's place on tuesdays at 8:30... is the oc still on or what??? i only just got into that show