Saturday, October 27, 2012

Sun and Moon

It's dark in the car...I turn on the music and lean in...If you are the sunthen I wanna be the moonI wanna reflect the light that shines from youAnd if this is warThen I'm gonna draw my swordThis time I know what I am fighting for...I become undone...not the messy, unstoppable undone...this is quiet...deep...impenatrable... I reflect on the blood I carried yesterday in my hands...eager to be transfused to a waiting body in need...gelatinous...life sustaining...blood...

I breath the thought...not even the words...

"I don't like my blood Father...I want your blood..."

Transfuse me.

Sun and Moon play again...

"God I wanna let you knowI want everything you areI'm waiting for the morning light to showa fire in the dark."

I knew my Christianity would ebb and flow...change...I didn't realize how much I would...

I didn't realize that sometimes it would be...hard...a force to be reckoned with...this thing called life...
I wasn't prepared for the attacks...

"And if this is warThen I'm gonna draw my swordThis time I know what I am fighting for..."

Time has told the tale...there is a reason the focal point of our faith is the cross...the messy...disparaging...flesh ripping cross...

How could I ever think that if the Savior that lost it all for me in such a messy, embarrassing, non-defended way could require anything less?

"If love is a choiceThen I need you to hear my voiceI'm the one knocking on your door making all this noiseWhatever it takesI give it all awayI wanna show my love in a thousand ways."

Yet...somehow...through the constant transfusions...it is a life like no other...markedly different than those walking about with deep pallor and visible deficiencies...in need of the gelatinous blood type that only He donates...

Those transfused with His blood though at times weak from the ailment of humanity that they cannot avoid...seem...well...colored...peaceful...able to carry on...even joyful...

I speak it this time...if only a whisper...

"Transfuse me today...the humanity that runs through my veins has become so sludged...I don't want any blockages that keep my heart from beating for you...Transfuse you...medicate me with your word...remove the blockages...I'm the one...it's my voice...my thought voice making all this noise..whatever it takes...I give myself away..."

"Shine your light, I wanna feel you nowGod I need a miracleTake my heart, make it glowShine your light from the inside outI wanna be more like youIf you are the sun, I wanna be the moon."

I press repeat...

Grace n Peace,

A ~

*Thanks to Phil Wickham for "Sun and Moon" not just today but all the days I lean into it...

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Royal Wreck

So I am...a Royal Wreck...I do not profess to have it all together. What makes it Royal is that I'm quite in touch with a Savior that keeps me humbled in this life and utterly grateful for each moment that I'm blessed to enjoy. 2 girls. 1 cat. All of us in school. All of us continuously growing up. It's a ride...and I love it!