Costume of the Week: I Want to be Above the Law Like a Cop

This week I have chosen to be a Cop. It never seizes to amaze me that so many cops feel that they are above the law. On my way to work this morning a police car passed me on the Garden State Parkway going at least 110 miles per hour. When I saw him in my rear view mirror I immediately slowed down from 85 to 65 and watched nervously, convinced I was going to get pulled over, and he proceeded to wiz by. It turned out that I was the lucky one. Several miles up the road I saw a car pulled over, most likely for speeding. I laughed to myself that it was probably the same cop who flew past me just a few minutes ago. What gives cops the right to speed but poor working folks like us get tickets, points and ultimately in even more trouble for being late for work. No one seems to go faster than the police and it makes me mad. It seems logical that since there is no one to pull them over that they can do as they please. I want to do as I please too. If I see a cop doing 90, I should be able do 90 right beside him. While we’re at it, I want to drive on the shoulder when there is traffic; and in the HOV lane when I’m by myself, too. Then when I’m done, I want to go to a donut shop and expect not to be charged for my coffee and cruller. I wonder what it would be like to be above the law; to be a cop who can get away with things for which others get fined. For this week’s Costume of the Week, I choose cop. Definitely cop.

There are some many really great cop/police costumes in stock. For today I’m feeling a bit conservative. Nothing too sexy; just sexy enough to get away with at a party that kids might be attending but still sexy enough for my husband to want me to keep it on for a while after we get home. I chose the 7-piece woman’s Police Costume. It includes a zipper front mini police dress, belt, hat, badge, handcuffs, baton and toy walkie-talkie. The material is comfortable and stretches so it is forgiving. One thing for sure is that is a short dress. Nice legs are recommended but I think tights with high boots would look hot with this costume as well. I love the hat and badge. They instantly make me feel official. As I begin to fiddle around with the handcuffs and baton it’s easy to see how one’s ego comes into play when in uniform. Everyone’s heart races a bit when the see the police, even if they know they are doing nothing wrong. Even though it is a costume and my weapons are toys it still give me the feeling of control and authority. Don’t mess with me. Now it’s time to go on patrol.

I put on the hat and grabbed the sunglasses from my purse. I practiced my look in the mirror for a while; the straight face; the acknowledging head nod. This costume makes me feel powerful and sexy. I keep looking at my badge and hat wondering what would happen if I got into my car in this getup and sped down the road. I imagine it feels pretty good. I laugh when I imagine trying to show my play badge to a real cop. It’s a good thing I’m not curious about what it’s like to be in jail.

I find myself fiddling with these handcuffs. Slapping them on my wrist is fun as is cuffing myself to my chair. They seem pretty sturdy for toy handcuffs but they look more like they are reserved for people who want to be handcuffed rather than need to be, if you know what I mean.

I want to feel more like a cop and try out my cop lingo by saying things like, “up against the wall and spead ’em!” and “put your hands behind your back!” but with this being a place of business and our HR director one office over I held back (sexual harassment and all). For now, “Freeze. You’re under arrest!” will have to do. That felt good enough. I flipped my badge, made an arrest for stealing from the supply room and accepted a bribe; this time is was candy from the employee next to me but next time who knows.

Being a cop was fun. Even though it was a costume you really do feel the sense of power that comes with the uniform. Did I feel above the law? No, and I don’t think I’ll ever get away with speeding. But it was fun to pretend. It’s strange how costumes can enable you to create persona and they really give you an understanding of how a real uniform makes its wearer feel powerful. Though, I still wish those dang cops would stop speeding for no reason other than they can.