As always, if the title has a question mark that means we’re dealing with an unsubstantiated rumor that is coming from a source that may not know a ding dong diddily darn of what it speaks. This time around, though, the fine folks of Anonymous claim that they have uncovered documents that prove that Emma Watson has signed on to star as Anastasia Steele in the big screen adaptation of the best-selling Twilight fan fiction known as Fifty Shades of Grey.

And where there are whips, there are scars, because it turns out that Constantin Films was indeed hacked, so this may be the happiest day ever for men of all ages.

News is out that a group of hackers known collectively as Anonymous managed to hack into the internal server of German studio Constantin Films, and leaked several documents. Among the docs was one noting Emma Watson is attached to star in the upcoming Focus Features Fifty Shades film adaptation, confirming a much-buzzed-about rumor.

The studio acknowledged to The Hollywood Reporter that it had, in fact, been hacked, but downplayed the action, saying the documents stolen were out of date and widely accessible to many Constantin employees. (Via USA Today)

The report also suggests that Ian Somerhalder is up for the role of Christian Grey, but he claimed that “so many young boys” are also being considered, which is both vague and potentially disgusting.

It seems like a no-lose situation to me. The source material is so dreadful nobody will blame the actors if the film is terrible, and if by some miracle they make a good film, the actors will share lots of credit. Meanwhile, the fans of the source material will flood theaters and adore it no matter how objectively awful it may be (cf, Twilight).

I can’t imagine her doing this. She made $99,999,595,997,857,346,652,432,675,868,595.34 from the last Harry Potter. If she’s going to do something slutty on camera, names like Roman Polanski or Martin Scorsese are going to have to be involved.

I’ve read elsewhere that she was considered (or asked or thought of, I don’t know), but has turned it down or said no or something along those lines. Anyway, The Bling Ring is her “I’m Not Hermione” movie. Thing is, she’s totally Hermione (except hotter).