21/03/2016

Facing Body Negativity.

When I was brainstorming blog post ideas earlier in the week, this one just came to me. I'd been scrolling through Eva Gutowski's Instagram and saw this particular image of her in a lacy bralette. Now like me, Eva is very slim and with that comes the inevitability of being mostly flat chested. And since this bralette was made of a very thin material it just highlighted this. Naturally I thought I'd have a little look at the comments and what I saw literally made me want to throw something. It was girls, (the same girls who preach feminism and body confidence) saying things like: "And I thought I was flat chested?!" and: "Eww she's so flat!"

First of all this made me really angry. Because of course Eva isn't under the delusion that she's curvy. She's not stupid, of course she knows that she's small chested and definitely doesn't need a bunch of nasty, immature twelve year olds telling her so. And just because she has millions of followers doesn't mean she won't read these comments and see the rude, hurtful things people write.

It just utterly confounds me how some people think they have the right, to hate on other people's bodies. Imagine: How would you like it if someone commented on your Instagram saying things like: "OMG you're really fat!" Because at the end of the day, calling someone "skinny" or "anorexic" (and don't even get me stared on using real-life illness as an insult) is just as bad as calling someone "fat".

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Now personally I haven't really experienced a lot of body negativity over the internet. Unfortunately it mostly seems to be directed to "famous" Youtubers and bloggers, where the comments are likely to blur in with the masses.

And yet whether someone has 10 followers or 10 million that is still not an excuse to body shame. As the old saying goes: If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all!

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Another thing I have a problem with is how young people's body issues are developing. Ever since I thirteen I've absolutely hated my nose. In my opinion it ruins my face and for many years now I've wanted to get a nose job. It's pretty much become a standing joke in my family that I've refused to get married (which wouldn't happen yet anyway, duh!) until I get my nose sorted because I don't want to spoil the photos. Because of a few comments I've received over the years I'm prepared to pay thousands for someone to alter one of my main facial features so it looks better aesthetically. I'm not really sure what I make of that.

But at thirteen is it really necessary to have these thoughts and opinions?! I remember being in year 6 (so 10 / 11 years old) and my friend, who was of Chinese descent, saying that when she's older she's going to get stitches put in her under eyes to pull her lash line down. At 11?!

It's absolutely insane, is it any wonder our generation is obsessed with their looks when we're constantly being told we're not perfect? Because guess what?! Newsflash: no one is. Everyone has things they want to change about themselves. I bet even Kendall Jenner and Cara Delevingne have things they dislike, which to us might seem totally crazy, but I bet in their heads is as rational as me wanting a nose job!

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The last thing I wanted to talk about is the issues of men wearing makeup. I was on Twitter the other night and saw some girl had retweeted a picture of a guy wearing a full face of makeup with a caption like: "this is so gross, imagine if this was your boyfriend?!" And I'm like, "If that was my boyfriend I'd be hella jealous of that contour, because it slays."

And correct me if I'm wrong, but nowhere on your new eyeliner does it say: "this product is exclusively for women only!" Because it's not. Yes for so many years women have been the main users of makeup, but we live in changing times. We're constantly seeing posts in which people scorn men for saying things like "I'll take her swimming on the first date, so I can see what she really looks like!" and yet the same women who are all for looking glamorous and being able to dress the way they want hate on certain men for doing the same thing?! It's so hypocritical. Gender equality works both ways ladies.

(Plus guys in eyeliner are super hot. Just me?!)

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So I guess the purpose of this post was for me to put out my opinions on the way society treats beauty and aesthetic. It's so wrong that people feel they have the right to hate on people for the way they look or the choices they make. If you're not mature enough to keep your mouth shut, then you shouldn't be allowed on the internet. End of.

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Okay thanks for reading! I'm aware that this was slightly (okay very) ranty but I just had to get this off of my chest!

10 comments

YES, PREACH!! When I started working out and losing weight, my boobs got so much smaller and I became so upset and self conscious about myself. My boyfriend was constantly trying to reassure me that I was perfectly fine and tell me how beautiful I am, but i still felt like less of a woman (which is totally crazy). Although people complemented me on my accomplishments with fitness, there were also people who commented on how flat chested I had gotten. It took me a while to get comfortable with my new size (and several push up bras later), but I'm not as sad about it as I used to be. I really hate that people think they have the right to comment on the way other people's bodies look (as if they probably aren't already beating themselves up about it.) Those negative comments make it that much harder to love yourself for who you are. I love women who have the cofidence to post pictures like that, because it reminds me that I should love myself as well.

I totally agree on the men wearing makeup thing. I recently found out that a guy I know likes to wear dresses and makeup on the weekends and go to clubs. He identifies as Demi-gender, but can't tell people or family because it could hurt his future career of going into law enforcement. I just feel so terrible for the men who can't fully be themselves, because of social norms. It's ridiculous. Thanks for speaking up about this! <3

Completely agree with you about being flat chested! I'm exactly the same, I hate wearing bikinis because all I can think is that people must be staring at me! It's completely irrational but I literally hate it! Ahhh things like that make me really angry, I wish we just lived in a society where people can be who they want to be without getting judged by others! Xx

I could not agree enough with all of this. Being a fairly flat chested girl myself I know the struggles of getting changed in pe surrounded by your D cup friends wishing you'd worn a better push up bra so you don't look quite so flat chested. But why should I have to feel like that! Boobs come in all different shapes and sizes just like everything on our body and the sooner I start excepting that then the sooner I can stop worrying about it and what other people think. Xx

YES LILY YES, Completely agree with everything in this, fat shaming is the most disgusting thing to exist, why should weight even be an issue, literally why do people have to be so low that they feel its OK to comment such disgusting things. Its the same with 'skinny shaming', people carry their weight differently, if your a healthy weight then why the hell do other people think its right to comment, some people need a serious reality check, its disgusting! - On the whole 'body issues' front, personally I have never liked my nose but to be honest I try not to let it get me down (and sadly never turn to the side in a picture) Its really sad to think, but growing Social media isn't probably helping with boosting young girls/ boys confidence. Unfortunelty we arent all blessed with the beauty of Gigi Hadid etc, but I NEEDS to be promoted more that their are waaaay more definitions of beauty then just the standed, *clear skin, long flowing hair* blah blah.Sorry Ive gone a bit ranty on this topic too, but its subjects that really need talking about more!! Xxx

Love love love the long comments!! Ugh totally feel you on not taking side profile photos... I literally look so awful! Sometimes I don't mind my nose so much but then other times I absolutely hate it, it's so frustrating. Especially since my sister has the nicest nose ever like WTF genetics?! Yeah exactly, generic 'beauty' shouldn't be perceived as the norm in the same way that being white and heterosexual isn't representative of everyone. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and the sooner society realises this and stops labelling people, the better! xxx

I completely agree. I actually feel almost personally offended if someone I admire on Instagram or Youtube posts a body shot and then gets a load of hate. I just want to tell people to back off! I mean if someone said that to their face they would probably crushed. I really can't fathom why people think they have the right to say the things they do online and through social media.