Prostitutes, Nigerians and the ANC

15 May 2012, 15:08

Whoever was worried that this country was ever on its path to socialism, and its eventuality, communism, can rest assured that the politics for hire manner in which the ANC has conducted political business over the past years, cemented capitalistic virtues in most cadres.

I recently read of South African artist, Brett Murray’s sale of a painting at R 136 000, of Jacob Zuma with an unzipped fly.

The painting formed part of a new exhibition, where the topic was mostly the manner in which corruption within the ANC had tainted its past as liberation movement.

Murray had become the umpteenth activist to switch his focus from being anti-apartheid, to anti ANC, with some of his works including writing coupled with pictures, varying from “Amandla! We demand Chivas, BMW’s and Bribes!” to a picture of Johnny Walker’s logo, with the inscription “Forward Comrades!”

To most self deciding South Africans, none of this is news, as ever increasing criticism toward the ruling party’s lack of leadership, and self enriching policies had drawn a notable amount of voices from all races and social backgrounds.

Some refer to ANC politicians as ‘prostitutes to the highest bidder’, using their influence to grant large contracts such as E-Tolling (not to mention the Arms Deal) and the coming infrastructure shake-up to foreign companies, mostly Western and Chinese, cementing the notion that money needs to flow to keep the top-brass smiling.

To add insult to injury, the ANC Women’s League are lobbying for the legalisation, and eventual regulation, of prostitution, creating some uncertainty as to whether they are referring to free market-politics (tenders, BMW’s and Chivas!) or the oldest profession in the world.

In the event that they refer to the latter, I suppose this would be great news for the 67 South African ‘ladies of the night’ Nigeria deported back here, in an effort to top our government by deporting double the amount of Nigerians kicked back to West-Africa some months ago.

So, now all we have to do is deport all the Nigerians operating sex and drug rings in our country, and see them double that!

In all honesty, legalising prostitution will definitely give the girls caught up as heroin addicted sex slaves the gap to come forward for help, as they probably are too afraid of prosecution themselves at the moment.

Then, if you consider the boost towards taxes the country will receive from the new ‘contributing citizens’ on the streets, maybe we would be able to pay for our much needed infrastructure ourselves, not to mention how it would assist with ring fencing the SANRAL losses staring us in the face like a stoned Pravin Gordhan.

This means that we don’t need Western and Chinese direct investments, and thus we minimise the ‘backhands’ towards the tender cadres.

This in turn makes politics less lucrative, and subsequently the crooks and ‘businessmen’ rather go into the private sector, where they belong, than the public sector, where you should serve the country rather than yourself.

Interesting chain reaction then... by just legalising something that was illegal for thousands of years, politics is made honest, which leads to less lost in corruption, which in turn leads to more government investment in business, which leads to job creation, and so on....

So that’s the Dutch’s secret!

Now, why not go big and just get a BEE partner, get funding, list on the Alt-X, and start a chain group of whorehouses? (Just think of the possibilities in terms of names!)

It could be a business phenomenon that rocks the foundations of...well... how we do business.

Another add-on to the newly established ‘professional industry’, would be membership fees they need to pay yearly, the selection of committee members, a head office, and a very long acronym for a name...

Then there’s the issue of disciplinary proceedings, when members of the public send in their complaints towards a member. Sanctions may include “No sex for money, for thirty days!”... I suppose it would be too much to expect ten lashes with a leather whip...

Back to the tax issue; would businessmen be able to claim the use of these services as an entertainment allowance? Possibly, but then you’ll probably need to hide the receipt from your family and co-workers I suppose.

I'm sure Brett Murray would have a field day when his new exhibition includes the corporate formalisation of prostitution, and the laughs that go with it altogether.

Whatever the outcome in Mangaung in December, you can bet three groups will be holding breaths and hands...

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