I have this desire, this diseasewithin my daily lifefor representations to be more than thatto be actualbut more than that even... a synchronicity of sortswhereby they are representations and actualizations at the same time

It will be in the middle of the dayand I’ll do something spectacularly ordinaryand several moments laterI’ll find myself at once aware of my surroundingsdoing somethingspectacularly ordinaryhaving just emerged from ahalf memory, half fantasythe ordinary and sublime forever fused and confused

WeWe have problemsproblemsproblems of the everydayordinary days spent in a dazefantasizing; hoping; dreamingof our perfect situationeven though I haveno ideaof what that may be

I remember hikinghiking up to see Snoqualmie fallswhat a spectacle it waslooks of a miniature movie setto our exhausted bodies & minds...at least I think it was Snoqualmie...it’s difficult to say exactly from thistime & distance...exhausted within our daily lives as we are

...this like pouring overof wanting representation to be realityrushing toward me, an uncontainable force...from where we stood near the base of the fallslooking up; looking up; looking up through the mistas the water rushed by...

wanting everyday to go back to that placeto stand where we stood... to be the people we werethat place in time...and to realize the impossibility of itis to awaken to the mess around meand the ways in which now is not then