Freedom in the Not Knowing

I had the lovely opportunity to utter to myself, “I have no answer to this.”
And
it
felt
good.
The situation was a simple one involving a stop light, the exit of a fast food place, a SUV desiring to cut across three lanes of traffic, and a woman in a Ford Freestyle (me). It was an awkward dance of: “What is that guy doing? Wait, what am I supposed to do here? Oh my, I have no answer to this.”

That was the opening. The answer was like a small little pearl sitting there waiting for me to acknowledge that I didn’t have to know the answer in that moment. The relief that flooded the inside of my chest was enough to give me pause. That was the answer: just staying still, not trying to make this situation less awkward, just being in the moment; holding space while Mr. SUV figured out how to get himself across traffic, safely.

I heard the lesson, and I felt it. It is 100% okay not to have an answer
in
this
moment
because
it will come. It will be more apt to come once I take a breath, acknowledge that I am clueless, and allow space to open where before there was anxiety. I plan to breathe through my next moment of clueless-ness, confusion, and to get to the other side of, “Wait, I don’t need an answer for this right now”.

“Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts.”