Month: September 2017

What’s with all the people trying to sell solar panels recently? We’re a cafe; our energy needs are not massive. We’re open relatively normal hours, and we have mood lighting so it’s not like we’re blasting away with the energy-draining lumens. Johnny puts up with these door-to-door people far more than I ever could, I swear.

“YOU WANT TO BUY SOLAR PANELS?”

Dude, go somewhere you actually have a chance. Besides, unfortunately for him I actually know people in Melbourne’s commercial solar industry, and they’re not creepy door-to-door salesman. What would even happen if you went with one of those sham artists, anyway? They’d probably just install some painted white squares on your house and say that your energy needs will be whittled down to nothing in 2-3 years. By then you’ll probably have forgotten they were even there.

I’m all for solar power, by the way. The real stuff, that is, that actually starts to shave off your power needs. My parents had a few panels installed WAY back, when it wasn’t all that trendy or ‘in’. Maybe they could just see which way the wind was blowing, because now they pay basically nothing for their energy and everyone around is jealous. I don’t understand why more people haven’t gotten solar panels, especially for large business with high energy needs.

Makes me wonder what things will look like in the future. Maybe all our roofing will just be solar panels, with turbines sticking out of everywhere to maximise energy usage. I bet people will find a way to make that sort of stuff look good. I read recently that they’ve managed to make solar panels into roof tiles. They’re pretty expensive at the moment but in a few years everyone will have them.

But for now? We’re okay here in the cafe, thanks. It’ll be a long time before Melbourne’s industrial solar power becomes necessary to brew a few lattes.

We HAVE to do something about the soccer mums. Oh, you know exactly what I’m talking about; everyone does. They always come in here after the games, bored children in tow, and talk incredibly loudly about how their little Spencer, Cooper, Brianna, Sally-Anne or Dante just kicked the most AMAZING goal, or how they just smacked the ball so hard that it flew out of the arena, or something equally silly. Oh, and I really do mean loudly. Everyone must know, even if little Jemimah was the one responsible for setting up the indoor cricket nets.

“Oh, she has SUCH a way with her fingers, does Jemimah. So dextrous. Everyone at the cricket club says it; they won’t even set up until Jemimah gets here. She’s going to be a professional at setting up cricket netting, just you wait!”

Give me a break. Everyone has to have a thing nowadays. Even if your child isn’t actively part of the sport, they’ve got to have a gimmick. the only alternative is NOT showing up to the sporting events and not getting to gossip with all the other Mums. And then they all come in here because it’s the only vaguely nice place around, and I have to deal with them talking right over me when I try to take their order. Not that I don’t already know…it’s a round of skinny, soy, half-strength lattes with no sugar. Got to keep up the trend!

I mean, I’d be pretty happy with my child either way, whether they’re out there on the field or setting up the sports nets. In some ways, the net thing would be even better; shows that they’re not in it for the glory, and they just want to help out.

But would I go into a cafe a try to make extra sure that EVERYONE knows what my child did? No. I’d have more tact than that.