Category Archives: bereaved in childhood, now adult

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In episode 5 our guest is a wonderful woman called Lucy who lost her mum to suicide when she was a teenager. Lizzie and Lucy met up last year to chat about their experiences and the impact that losing a mum in childhood has had on the rest of their lives.

Show Notes:

The website for Project 84, the campaign to raise awareness about the high rate of male suicide in the UK, can be found here

Please bear in mind some topics might be difficult to listen to. You don’t have to listen all at once. You can take breaks. Please take care and treat yourself to something nice afterwards. The helplines (or a friend or family member) are there if you need them to talk to.

Lizzie and Lucy mention:

losing parents when they were teenagers

the impact that had on the remaining teenage years

how their mums died, finding the body, suicide notes, PTSD

there’s no better way of being bereaved, but they discuss the finality of finding the body vs. not having a sense of closure

not having an anniversary of death if don’t know exactly when person died

going back to the place where someone has killed themselves

for Lucy, going on to be a parent yourself

experience of post-natal depression

when your children reach the age you were when your parent died

getting counseling

what it’s like to talk to other people about your mother’s suicide

how they both talk about something sad and upsetting, ends up being through laughter when you mention a horrific thing – bizarre coping mechanism!

issues with trusting other people throughout your life

feeling that nothing in life could ever be as bad as what you’ve already been through as a teen

happy memories of your childhood – are there but can often take time to resurface after a suicide

the longing to know them as an adult and a person, but will never get that chance

is it better not to?

joy of having/living with kids – looking forward to future

And finally when you meet other people who are further along the line – and you know it’s gonna be fine!

Lucy’s Advice:

take it day by day

talk to people – whatever you’re able to say

try to ignore other people’s judgements of you and how they think you should grieve, find your own way of dealing with it