A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Head KOmmie KOs Encourages Political Bribery

I was just getting ready to write up the topic of this blog edition this past Tuesday when the story broke that Karl Rove WON'T be indicted so I was temporarily diverted by all the hoopla over this event in DUmmieland. However, the DUmmies falling for the TruthOut Hoaxmas story perpetrated by their own WILLIAM RIVERS PITT shows just how far they have fallen in the public eye in relation to their loonie left rivals, THE DAILY KOS aka KOmmieland. Yes, while the DUmmies were tearing themselves apart in angst over having so easily fallen for the Jason Leopold TruthOut "scoop" that Karl Rove had ALREADY been indicted on May 12, the KOmmies were just returning from a weekend in Las Vegas which was overed covered by a fawning MSM. One can only imagine the incredible jealousy on the part of Head DUmmie Skinner watching all that coverage of the KOmmieland COnvention while his own DUmmies are treated as some sort of joke. However, all the great publicity given to the KOmmies is all perception. The sad reality is that the KOmmies are really nothing but DUmmies with better PR. The KOmmies, when you look close, are just as LOONY as the DUmmies as you can see in this KOmmie THREAD written by Head KOmmie, KOs, titled, "Warner's Stratosphere party." The premise of this KOmmie thread is that it is great that presidential candidate, Mark Warner, threw a $100,000 party for the KOmmies in Vegas including free sushi and great booze. Not only that, KOmmie KOs encourages other candidates to do the same. So get this. The Left has been whining for years about the EVIL influence of money in politics and strongly supported the McCain-Feingold Campaign "Reform" bill. However, now they are saying to hell with integrity, we are open to your ideas ESPECIALLY if you shell out big bucks to influence us. Of course, any Republican candidate trying to do this is an evil corrupter of the body politick but if you are a Democrat you are doing the smart thing so BRING ON THE SUSHI AND BOOZE!!! Let us now watch KOs and his fellow KOmmies trying to justify the bribery of the Left only in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent who is perfectly willing to let Mark Warner explain his side of the story here in the DUmmie FUnnies but only if he sends me a case of Flor de Caña Centenario 21 slow aged 15 year old rum, is in the [brackets]:

Warner's Stratosphere party

[WHEEEEEE!!! He paid attention to US by shelling out big bucks on a groovy party. We paid little heed to Mark Warner before but he has got us interested in his campaign...especially if he throws US another expensive party.]

You've seen it already, people criticizing the Mark Warner operation for their tony party at the Stratosphere during YearlyKos. Apparently, people think 1) Warner is trying to buy their support (everyone knows we're not that cheap), and 2) Warner could've spent the money ($50-100K) better.

[Hey folks! Mark Warner spent his money on US so that makes it okay!]

Seeing the Forrest's Dave Johnson (who isn't endorsing Warner) counters that as a marketing event, Warner's party was brilliant.

[So let us now take a look at SEEING THE FOREST which KOs cites to justify the bribery of the KOmmies by Warner...]

Governor Warner has not just established himself with the blogosphere. By placing himself as a top blogosphere contender, he has positioned himself as a top contender, period. Let me explain. In my marketing life I always worked for "little guy" companies - small companies up against major established, entrenched competitors like Microsoft or Sony. So I developed what I a call "leapfrog" marketing, or "parallel channel" marketing strategy.

[I'm already chuckling at this portrayal of multi-millionaire Mark Warner as a "little guy."]

Suppose you want to introduce a product into the Microsoft Windows market. Getting noticed and establishing your brand is an extremely expensive - and time consuming - proposition. Throwing a huge $100,000 event at a major trade show doesn't even get you noticed, it's just expected. It hurts you if you don't do it, but doesn't help you much when you do. And then advertising and brand building is going to cost you millions, takes time, and you will still be barely noticed amidst the noise.

[Oh. I see. It's not poltical bribery. It's just "brand name marketing."]

But maybe someone else is reaching the target audiences. Suppose you introduce a Linux version of your product first. Doing this, you are marketing into a parallel channel that has much lower marketing costs. But, in reality, much of your marketing activities are reaching the same audiences. The computer press, IT management, opinion leaders, sophisticated users, and many other target segments also pay attention to the Linux market so the result is that you are establishing mindshare in the Windows market. And there is an amplification not available in the Windows market. The Linux market is not saturated with products, so there is great demand. By introducing a serious product you leapfrog past the saturation obstacle of the Windows market.

[Maybe he should change his name to Linux Warner.]

So, as I said, by establishing himself as a leader of the pack of candidates in the blogosphere he is increasing his stature with the national political press and opinion leaders at the same time, because they are also paying close attention to the blogosphere as a leading indicator of public opinion.

[Lost in all the fawning coverage of the "blogosphere" is the cold fact that KOmmieland is NOT a blog. Just a Web forum. And the Free Republic, another Web forum, has vastly more influence than KOmmieland. Of course, it is KOmmieland that gets most of the media attention because it is FAR LEFT.]

So upon reflection, I think Governor Warner has pulled off a brilliant maneuver all the way around. By making himself important to the blogs, and at the same time increasing the importance of the blogs to the national political process, he is making himself a front-runner. At the same time, by increasing the credibility of the blogs now, he is strengthening their power and effectiveness as a channel for use by the eventual nominee.

[Brilliant manuever! Targeted bribery. And now we return to KOmmie KOs...]

Dave is right. Warner sent a strong message not just to us, but to the media and political establishments that the netroots matters. And in politics, $100K is pocket change. Better spend it on a blogger party where the candidate socialized with regular people than on bullshit television ads or crappy consultants.

[Yes. Lay that $$$$ on US, not on getting your message out on the tube.]

Of course, this post will just get people whining that I'm carrying water for Mark Warner, and I've made no bones about the fact that I am intrigued by his candidacy and consider him one of the top candidates to watch (the others being Feingold, Clark, and, let me add for the first time -- Richardson). I am particularly fond of governors since I don't think the Senate is a good jumping off point for the presidency (from both practical and political standpoints).

[So what did Richardson serve up in Vegas to the KOmmies? Jalapeno & cheese bagels? I notice that Tom Vilsack who was also there didn't rate a mention. I guess he served up NOTHING. Cheapo politicians now get the KOmmie cold shoulder.]

But here's what pisses me off -- there are people who complain when candidates and politicians diss the netroots. Then, when they pay attention to us, they complain some more.

[But here's what pisses me off---cheap politicians like Vilsack who show up at our Vegas convention and fail to spend a dime on us.]

It's a good thing for both us and the politicians when we come together. It doesn't mean we have to sign away our votes, it just means we get to check each other out in ways that don't involve 30-second ads or press releases

To be honest, much of the anti-Warner tirades seemed to be coming from supporters of other candidates angry that Warner scored some points (and Warner did score points). But don't lash out at Warner, who in addition to doing himself a favor also did the netroots a huge favor as Dave Johnson notes. Encourage your guy or gal to also engage the netroots. Lost in the hubbub was the fact that Wes Clark also had a big bash for bloggers at the Hard Rock Casino with open bar. Sure, it wasn't the Stratosphere, but all such parties in Vegas cost serious money.

[Mark Warner scored BIG points with the free booze and sushi. Oh, and Wes Clark also scored some points but his Hard Rock Casino open bar just wasn't in the same league as the Warner's Stratosphere. But not to worry, Wes. Mark Warner has set the bar (pun intended) for you to reach at the next shindig you throw for the KOmmies.]

All politics costs serious money. It's not a bad thing for us, or them, to have them spend some of it talking to us.

[Spending serious money on US is a GOOD thing!!! And now that the KOs has spoken, let us hear from the rest of the KOmmies...]

I'm not on Gov. Warner's bandwagon, but the complaints sure do seem (to me) like sour grapes.

[More like fermenting grapes. And how was your Stratosphere champagne?]

He is with the DLC on policy, with the netroots when it comes to picking up the bar tab. That isn't a leader, it is a lobbyist.

[Party pooper!]

It was everything I had hoped for - which is to say I got to shake the man's hand and that was all I really cared about. Oh, and I guess there was some food and drink too but whatever.

[And I'm sure you discussed healthcare reform with Warner while guzzling down the bubbly and chomping into the California rolls at the Stratosphere.]

I was looking forward to the parties to. I just never thought someone would try to impress me by throwing their $$$ around. Or maybe that is just the way Warner routinely conducts his business?

[And you HOPE the way the other candidates conduct their business.]

CNN thought it very funny that we could be bought off so easily.

[So do the DUmmie FUnnies. I hope you held out for at least an extra salmon egg roll.]

Many who didn't attend Yearly Kos or contribute to it for financial reasons might have wished that Mark Warner contribute the money towards something less flashy.

[They are just sorry they weren't in Vegas to get in on all the Stratosphere goodies.]

I loved the party -- and Gov. Warner is a very nice guy -- but my first choice for Pres in '08 is still Feingold. The chocolate fountain didn't change that.

[Maybe a champagne bath will get your mind right.]

I heard from Warner himself that he thought the ice sculptures were a little over the top.

[What did he think of the chopped liver sculpture of Marilyn Monroe?]

I really liked the sushi. Some microbrew would have been nice.

[The Mark Warner campaign appreciates your input and will take steps to include microbrew in our next Stratosphere policy session.]

We spent a fair amount of time mildly drunk talking about ways to get the other candidates to provide us with more sushi and chocolate fountains.

[Just withhold any possibility of support until they come across with the sushi and chocolate fountains.]

Partying it up with Mark Warner while slamming back vodka and carved meat sounds like a blast. Man, I should have went to YearlyKos so I could get Mark Warner and Wes Clark together so we could all do shots. Or beer pong.

[Or 100% pure blue agave tequila.]

So, you're voting for Warner over Clark because Warner's people managed to organize a freaking YearlyKos party better?

[Absolutely! Proper party planning ranks high on the scale of my rating the candidates.]

ok, I am recurperating... all I'll say right now is I asked for scotch on the rocks and got the tallest scotch I've ever had. Before going it seemed that Mark might be trying to buy us off, but my attitude was "try Mark! Try harder"... I don't think the issue can be ignored, we need to stay on our feet.

[Mark Warner swept me off his feet with his super duper Stratosphere party and his extra tall scotch drinks.]

...and there is no way this party cost $100K - as a multiple year veteran of Big Pharma ice sculpture 'hooplas' - the Warner event had to cost at least $200K, what with chocolate fountain, Elvis impersonators, open bar and sushi etc. I agree with dkmich: if Warner's personal money paid for event, fine and drink up; I would NOT want my $10 contribution to have gone to a 'slosh-fest.' Warner would have been better off without the Elvi and to have come across as more Spartan in character.

[Don't be such a spoilsport. No over the top Vegas party can be complete without the Elvi.]

I didn't think it was outstanding sushi. I was really hungry, I hadn't eaten dinner so it tasted darn good! The chocolate fondue fountain was awesome!

[A KOmmie food critic weighs in on the important issues.]

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The last thing we need is Warner as president. The only thing this goofball did in Virginia as governor was raise taxes by $1 billion and spend, spend, spend. But he's a DIM, so what did you expect....

Now we have his lacky, Kaine, in office, and the state congress refuses to pass his budget. GO VA CONGRESS!

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About Me

I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
pjcomix@gmail.com. If you are anybody else, you can contact me there too. Remember, if you are a book publisher, please feel free to embarrass me with an extravagant book advance.