Overcoming obstacles in life is only half the battle. The other half is living and functioning after the obstacle has been overcome. Addiction is a complex disease that individuals can violently be sucked into, without any recollection or realization that a substance or behavior has suddenly defined their life so dramatically. Pulling oneself out of addiction is a process – a journey that takes almost a lifetime to conquer. The desire to end an addiction is self-respect, but seeking help itself might possibly be the most frightening step, but the most courageous one and a mark of strength.

By seeking guidance outside of their own opinions, an individual with addiction is completely opening up their emotions and memories, leaving an incredibly personal part of themselves vulnerable to criticism – by no means is that a walk in the park. The fear in asking for help is completely valid and should never be something seen as humorous or a disposition to be taken lightly. Asking for help is always the hardest step. As the supporting friend, family member, or spouse – you are an assurance to your loved one that there is value in seeking help. You are their support system that provides positive affirmations and actions. Not to mention, you also remind your loved one there is a meaningful life outside of addiction, and they have so much to experience that makes life worth living, and that it can be done without unhealthy coping mechanisms and tendencies.

First, sitting down and having an honest, raw conversation with your loved one sets everything on the table and gives you both an opportunity to share how you feel. You are able to learn why they want to take this journey. On the other hand, your loved one will always remember that someone understands their circumstances to the best of their abilities and is willing to be supportive. The utter transparency between you both is a solace, and may even make your loved one speak more easily and freely to a professional therapist or support group in the future. By your encouragement and love, it can give a loved one a little push to take the initiative to find help on their own. You can hold them accountable but also encourage their independence – because self-reliance is all that is necessary. Remember when you asked for help once? It was monumental to feel acknowledged by another human being.

If your loved one wishes, go with them to support groups, wait in the seating area of a psychiatric office, or attend an event with them that will be a bit more bearable with a person by their side. The actual presence of someone during a difficult moment can make all the difference in the world. It is natural to be hesitant doing certain things alone, especially when particular moments require openness.

Besides meaningful conversations and formal treatments to addiction, simply having fun with your loved one is a break from anything disheartening in life. By experiencing the world outside of addiction, your loved one can see that there is truly an end-result to the recovery process. It is easy to lose oneself in addiction, question self-identity, and spiral into a dark place. But by enjoying themselves and letting go of pain – even just for a few minutes – your loved one can find pleasures in things and hobbies that they once loved, or will come to love.

If there is one last thing that helps your loved one, it is never losing a sense of purpose from the trials of their mistakes and relapses, triumphs, and self-doubt that gives them the courage to ask for help. Life isn’t a race to see who can get to the finish line with the least amount of trauma and scars. Life is what they make it, and you hope that even through unexpected and painful bumps along the way – there is not an end, but a never-ending opportunity to give themselves an existence they have always wanted.

Trevor is a freelance writer and recovering addict & alcoholic whose been clean and sober for over 5 years. Since his recovery began he has enjoyed using his talent for words to help spread treatment resources and addiction awareness. In his free time, you can find him working with recovering addicts or outside enjoying about any type of fitness activity imaginable. Trevor can be reached at

Chris' Master Degree Thesis Spiral of Silence: Caregiving, Stress and its Impact in the Workplace was accepted by the faculty at Gonzaga University in May of 2016 earning an MA Degree in Communication and Leadership. Email me at chris@thepurplejacket.com for information on the financial impact of caregiving. Proud to be an Alumni of Gonzaga University 2016

Become A Senior Home Safety Specialist: Enter the code "bowtieguy" and save $20.00 off the price of the course!

Learn How To Become A Certified Dementia Communication Specialist with Silver Dawn Training. Tell Cathy and Tami that "The Bow Tie Guy" sent you!

The Whole Care Network Recommends Care Match America. Click on the logo to learn how CareMatch American can find the perfect senior living MATCH for you and your family!

Hope Loves Company (HLC) is the only non-profit in the U.S. with the mission of providing educational and emotional support to children and young adults who had or have a loved one battling Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) or Lou Gehrig's disease. Many of these children become caregivers to their parents. Please visit Hope Loves Company's website to learn more about this wonderful program!

Mr. Happy Key, Keeping Us Safe One Driver at a time. Click on the link and learn how to contact Keeping Us Safe specialist in your area.

The Whole Care Network Proudly Recommends KalendarKards. Use the code BowTieGuy for 10% off your purchase of KalendarKards!

"What's The Deal With Caregiving?" is available on Amazon. Click above to see the reviews of the book and to purchase a copy of your own

Culture Change In A Box is our new show on the Whole Care Network featuring cost host Judy Ryan from LifeWork Systems and Chris MacLellan from the Whole Care Network.

As a certified accessible travel advocate, I can book all your travel plans! Ask me how you can have anything from oxygen to a hoyer lift delivered to your cruise ship stateroom or hotel around the world! For more information email me at chris@tlocruisesandtours.com

Our Three Part Caregiving Story…

Nominated for a Pulitzer Prize in 2015, Our Caregiving Story "In Sickness and In Health: A Couple's Final Journey" written by Diane Lade and photgraphed by Carline Jean from The South Florida Sun-Sentinel. Click on the photo to be taken to the original story. Photo Credit Carline Jean/Sun-Sentinel

Story 2: "Life After Death: Couple's Story Sparks Change." Click on the photo to be taken to the second story. Photo Credit Carline Jean Sun-Sentinel

Story #3 "Saying Goodbye" Click on the photo to be taken to our final story. Photo Credit Carline Jean/Sun-Sentinel

Affectionately known as “The Bow Tie Guy” in many caregiving circles, the story of Chris MacLellan and his partner, Richard Schiffer was chronicled in a 2015 Pulitzer Prize nominated story “In Sickness and In Health: A Couple’s Final Journey” about their journey of caregiving. The story told of the challenges that LGBT partners have in dealing with the medical and legal system, but it also told of the love and joy that Richard’s last years had on their relationship. Out of this experience Chris has written a powerful and compelling book “What’s The Deal With Caregiving” that informs caregivers on how to deal with the challenges that they will encounter, regardless of sexual orientation, family situation or age. Chris’ soothing style is conveyed through his caregiving blog, The Purple Jacket and podcast entitled Healing Ties where he connects with caregivers and industry experts around the globe through story sharing while providing timely tips for family caregivers. Chris’ Master's Degree thesis entitled, “Spiral of Silence: Caregiving, Stress and its Impact in the Workplace” was accepted by the faculty at Gonzaga University, where Chris earned a Master’s degree in Leadership and Communication. Chris is the founder of The Whole Care Network and presents regularly on topics that impact family caregivers.