As a guy, if I see a hot girl and begin talking to her, I basically want to fuck her. I've heard that this is not the same for girls, and society portrays it as not the same also. If you see an attractive guy, do you just think "Oh, he's attractive," or do you also think "If he asked me to do it right now, I would."

Cause I can't see any girls saying yes to that, because of the limitations society has impressed upon them etc. etc. but I'm just wondering. What would be stopping you from doing that?

Gold Member

I can and do feel instant sexual attraction, sure. But I've never not known anyone even a little and thought, "If he gives the signal, I'm going to fuck him." I have, however, early in getting to know someone thought, "In a few more hours, if this keeps up, I'm going to fuck him."

You don't think women are going to answer yes to this? Ha! Big fat yes. Yes I can be sexually attracted to a guy after meeting him (which includes first impression of his personality too) and embarrassingly, I've slept with near strangers.

I've definitely experienced instant sexual attraction before. I've also had sex with virtual strangers because I found them attractive. The OP is right though, that it isn't really socially acceptable for women. Even on this site, women who admit to this sort of stuff often seem to follow it with 'but I'm not really proud of it' or something similar.

Gold Member

I've definitely experienced instant sexual attraction before. I've also had sex with virtual strangers because I found them attractive. The OP is right though, that it isn't really socially acceptable for women. Even on this site, women who admit to this sort of stuff often seem to follow it with 'but I'm not really proud of it' or something similar.

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my only issues with women who do this are really just concerns for their safety. it's not dirty or shameful but it is, in my opinion, risky.

VerifiedGold Member

I'm the same as dolfette in that I've been sexually intrigued rather than, as the OP stated, so instantly attracted that I want to fuck the guy immediately. I need to get to know him first before I'm serious about wanting to rip his clothes off.

I've never had a one night stand. Maybe I'm missing out, but I need some chemistry and to know that mentally we're going to have fun as well as physically.

Gold Member

Not really, if I meet an interesting guy out somewhere I might think he looks nice but that more or less makes me want to get to know him. I become curious about him, but I'm not going to put myself into a situation I might not be able to get out of. So no sex with strangers for me.

I wanted TheBoyfriend from the first moment we met. Every single time he looked into my eyes I felt a powerful pull towards him that I was trying hard to resist. I wanted him.

I don't know about other women, but when I'm that attracted to a man, I'm hoping for a lot more than just sex. The fact that I really want to have sex with him makes me hope that there's an opportunity there for an unforgettable whirlwind romance, so I wouldn't want to jump into bed immediately for fear of ruining that opportunity. It isn't that I'm turning down sex, I've set my hopes higher for a lot more than just getting laid once. I want to fall in love and have lots of great sex.

Supposing for whatever reason that I didn't want that, a real romance, I still wouldn't just sleep with a hot stranger, even if my loins told me to do it. There's just something inside me that tells me that's not acceptable behavior for me, it's not the way I perceive that I should behave, so I don't. If I wanted regular sex because I didn't want a relationship, I'd want a fuck-buddy, someone I really genuinely like and enjoy spending time with, even though we aren't romantically involved, and that would still involve getting to know someone first.

It's probably a combination of my own self-image of the woman I consider myself to be, combined with societally imposed feelings of slut-shaming and more practical concerns about involving myself with men whom I do not know, which could be physically, socially, or professionally dangerous or complicated depending on circumstances. It's much safer to get to know someone first to find out if they're psycho, or someone's relative or ex, or if you're unexpectedly connected in a professional way. The world is very small, much smaller than most people think it is.

I have had one night stands, many of them, but only one with a stranger, that time in Vegas, which was a sort of "once in a lifetime" sort of experience for me. The rest were with long-time male friends, some of whom I had known for many years, men I knew well and truly genuinely liked as well as felt a sexual attraction. I'm just built like that, I need more than just gorgeous flesh, I need a connection.

I don't judge women who do that sort of thing, sleeping with strangers, it's just not for me. I'm not personally comfortable with doing that sort of thing regularly and that's not one of the ways I want to step out of my comfort zone.

I know it's risky - he may be a psycho, or he may have something you don't want to catch. But I sometimes have trouble listening to logic in the heat of the moment. Luckily it's never turned out badly for me. Well, the sex may not always have been great, but I stayed safe (through luck and use of condoms).

Gold Member

...the sexual attraction thing? for me it's so much an attitude thing that i can't get it instantly. a good looking guy, well, it's a bit like seeing a really beautiful piece of art. i enjoy looking, but need something more to make me think i might enjoy doing.
perhaps it's partly because i'm a pervert. i need those hints that he's a pervert too for him to be anything more than eye candy.

Sometimes but i find a person becomes even more attractive once i've got talking to them.Watching the way their smile erupts from their face,the ways the eyes crinkle and so on.Body language is important as well,it says a hell of alot about a person the way they react to one.

If I wanted regular sex because I didn't want a relationship, I'd want a fuck-buddy, someone I really genuinely like and enjoy spending time with, even though we aren't romantically involved, and that would still involve getting to know someone first.

It's probably a combination of my own self-image of the woman I consider myself to be, combined with societally imposed feelings of slut-shaming and more practical concerns about involving myself with men whom I do not know, which could be physically, socially, or professionally dangerous or complicated depending on circumstances. It's much safer to get to know someone first to find out if they're psycho, or someone's relative or ex, or if you're unexpectedly connected in a professional way. The world is very small, much smaller than most people think it is.

I have had one night stands, many of them, but only one with a stranger, that time in Vegas, which was a sort of "once in a lifetime" sort of experience for me. The rest were with long-time male friends, some of whom I had known for many years, men I knew well and truly genuinely liked as well as felt a sexual attraction. I'm just built like that, I need more than just gorgeous flesh, I need a connection.

I don't judge women who do that sort of thing, sleeping with strangers, it's just not for me. I'm not personally comfortable with doing that sort of thing regularly and that's not one of the ways I want to step out of my comfort zone.

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I wrote this earlier, but I was just thinking about it, and I don't think it's just a matter of a "connection" but rather trust. I need mutual affection definitely and love isn't necessary, but the factor that I truly feel that I need with someone I sleep with is trust. I could never trust a stranger.

Gold Member

I wrote this earlier, but I was just thinking about it, and I don't think it's just a matter of a "connection" but rather trust. I need mutual affection definitely and love isn't necessary, but the factor that I truly feel that I need with someone I sleep with is trust. I could never trust a stranger.

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i'm with you on that.
i've had fuck buddies before. they know what i like and i know that i'm safe. there's no need to go looking for random unknown quantities.