An Introverts Tale to Moving to a New Place

Life is full of adventures, some are better than others. Imagine packing your entire life up to move somewhere that life is full of unknowns in just a little under 2 weeks. Crazy right? Where are you going to live? What are you going to do for a job? How are you going to get a job? How are you going to see your family again? The list of questions can go on and on for hours. I am an introvert that overthinks, hates unknowns, has anxiety and does not adapt well to change or like to change. Let me back up and start with how this came about. Near the end of May 2016, I just graduated from college with my Masters Degree in Social work. I took my husband and I on a road trip to celebrate all of the hard work I had just completed. An opportunity presented itself and we finally went to meet my husbands sister and her family after 4 years of being together. She lived in Raleigh, North Carolina and we were passing near by to head to Virginia Beach. We met her and I thought she and her family were so nice. The rest of the trip we talked about what it would be like to move to another state. To be honest, I had always thought about moving away from Kansas but never truly gave it any thought.

Well fast forward to a week after our vacation, my husband and his sister had thought up a wonderful plan. My husband and I talked about how wonderful it truly was. That is when we decided it would be best for our little family to move to Raleigh, North Carolina in a little under 2 weeks. The reality of moving sank in and depression hit hard. I told my mother (who is practically my best friend) and we both cried together. I told my work and I continued working for two weeks. I turned down my first actual social work interview to move to an unknown town. What would become of my life?

Fast forward to moving day, my husband and I had everything packed up. We had two cars packed full, as we had a moving company move our stuff in a moving van. We took broke the trip up over a few days. We stayed just outside of Tennessee one night, at his parents the other and then made it to stay with his sister the 3rd night. We stayed with his sister for about a week until she moved out of her house. My depression had gone away because I was becoming comfortable around them and I had stuff to keep my mind off of everything. I had wrecked my car driving off of a drop off (short people problems), did not have a job and was just living to live. Although once we moved out and my husband went to work, I was all alone in a hotel and still without a job on week two. The first day in the hotel all I could do was cry and not eat, the days after that had continued to look about the same. This life changing event was not looking good for me.

I told you I was going to be honest and here is the most honest thing I could ever say, I truly thought about suicide because my depression had gone to rock bottom. I did not want to be alive anymore, I did not want to think and I did not want to breathe. I felt that I had ultimately become low life because I could not get a job, I had failed my test to get my license to practice social work and among other things. I know that life could be worse but for me at that time life was at rock bottom. My life seemed to be at an all time low, why would I want to stay alive? I am someone who thrives being outside, I did not even want to go to the pool. Something was terribly wrong if I would not even go outside. My husband did his best to console me, but in the end I knew or felt all he really wanted me to do was get a job or get over it. That was my conclusion, not him telling me this.

I believe ultimately my dog was the one who truly saved me from taking my own life. A dog never judges you, provides a listening ear even though they do not understand and will love on you when you are upset. My mother, my husband and a few others helped me as well. I never truly ever told anyone I was thinking about suicide (as I have never thought about it before that time). Something had to change and I had to be that change. I had to start forcing myself to do things and stop being the way I was. When you have depression that something that is easier said than done.

We finally had moved into an apartment and I slowly started getting better. Life had handed me a few more cards that made life just a bit more brighter but a bit more darker. After searching and applying to various jobs and not getting any call backs I decided to join a website. Right after I joined that website I got not one, not two but three different job offers without me even applying for them. I finally felt that my life was headed in a positive direction. I went on my very first interview and I immediately had a alternate feeling about the way my life had changed so fast. I was hired for the job and immediately felt relief. Although it was not the job I was wishing for, it was truly the break I needed. I was completely nervous for my first day but once I got into the hang of my new job I knew it was the perfect fit for me. The place I work at has helped me grow in numerous ways. My depression finally went away but comes back from time to time. We have taken several trips to explore our new home state and its surroundings. We have grown as husband and wife, for that I am thankful. I know I still have room to grow as a person but this move has definitely helped me in more ways than one.

All together, moves are not easy on anyone. Some more than others. There will always be a light at the end of the tunnel, as life will always be full of ups and downs. Life is not always meant to be easy, but if you hang in there you will see life will get better. In life sometimes we think we are alone in going through something. The truth is there is always someone there or even someone who has gone through what we have been through. I am thankful each and every day for this change because I have grown as a person, as a wife, as a dog mother and as a friend. Moving has helped me in more ways than one, even when it has hurt me in a few ways. I have learned so many different lessons. Even though I miss my family and friends in Kansas, I know that this move was good for me. I was losing touch with myself and what was important to me before we moved here. This gave me the break, clarity and the room to breathe that I needed. Life will always throw you curve balls but you have to learn to grow and curve with them.

Stay tuned next week to learn about my tips for dealing with home sickness. I will also be sharing my first road trip series on how I went to 6 states in one week. I will lay out my plans and how I did it. See you soon!

If you have not done so, don’t forget to follow my Instagram page. Go to: www.instagram.com/differentframeofmindblog to see all my travel photos on my Instagram page. I post a new one every Monday and Thursday.

It sounds like you’ve had quite the adventure, travelling to a new place as a permanent residence! I’m an introvert myself and I’ve always wanted to go somewhere new to live, but the thought has always scared me. It’s good to know that I’m not alone in thinking that and others have accomplished it. 🙂

You are definitely not alone. It is hard at first but it gets easier overtime. I hope you do one day take the risk and see that it is worth it. Thank you for your wonderful feedback and sharing your story. I really appreciate it.

Being an introvert and moving to a new state is never easy. I did it 3 years ago. We up and moved from Orlando, Florida, to Houston, Texas, about a month after making the decision. So it was somewhat fast like yours. Our oldest was 1.5 and I was pregnant with our second. We had to move in with my in-laws for a few months until my husband found a job. There are still days I hate it and miss Florida and my family, but we have also grown together in this new adventure as well.

It definitely is not, making friends is the hardest. Thank you for sharing your story, I bet it was harder to move while pregnant and having a little one. It’s amazing how moving makes you grow together or grow as a person. Thank you for your kind comment. I really appreciate it.

Gosh what a powerful tale you have to tell. It sounds like that move wasn’t easy for you at all. I have been home sick before and it is such a horrible feeling so I hope you upcoming tips will help others.

You never know what is around the corner. I was packing my bags so much and stuff I feel like now I can do it like a pro. Depression is not easy thing to deal with, I’m so glad that you saw something that has given you a strength to pull yourself out of that stage.

Oh my God, I so can relate. I’m an introvert too who moved to another country to live, 2 years ago. And I was scared to death, I had sleepless of months, basically because of the questions you also asked. Now I’m good, Thank GOD! Thanks for sharing,

I am glad you can relate! I bet it would be even harder to move to another country. I am glad you are better. You are welcome. Thank you for your comment and sharing your story. I really appreciate it.

My dad was in the military so I’m very familiar with moving to new places frequently. While I was more extroverted when I was little, it was still worrisome. The idea of not having friends + leaving my current friends behind wasn’t always fun

<3 I just want to say that I know what it is like going through a big move and how difficult it is to deal with it. I hope that things are getting better for you and that you are able to take the necessary steps to getting better. Thank you for sharing your story. <3

Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it. I have grown so much since that point and I believe it is good to share a personal story as others could be struggling like I did. Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it.

Wow, Ariel…thank you so much for sharing this. Depression does NOT need to be a taboo topic. I am really proud of you after reading this, and I dont even know you. I am so glad you are finding your way and feeling better. <3

Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I definitely highly agree it does not need to be a taboo subject. It definitely took a lot of courage to write about it. I really appreciate everything you said.

It’s hard being an introvert to move to a new place. Making friends or meeting people is the hardest part for me. I am hoping you are doing better now, thank you for sharing and for your comment. I really appreciate it.

It’s hard being an introvert but I make do eventually. I bet it was a struggle to move to all those different countries in a short time. Thank you for your comment and sharing your personal story. I really appreciate it.

Growing up I think I found myself more drawn to traveling to NY than Disney World. With all there is too do, but I’m ultimately pleased with my small town life I live. I understand how much moving across states can take a toll on a person not just physically but mentally as well.

I definitely understand what you mean. I am glad you love your small town life, that is good to love the place you live! It really is hard mentally and physically. Thank you for sharing your story and for your comment, I really appreciate it.

Thank you for sharing your real – emotions with us. Moving is a hard thing. We do that so often with my husband. We lived in Norway for 2 years, We moved to Australia, then back to Poland, then a year full of travelling, now another plan is coming. These decisions maek us happy but the changes sometimes are not easy and we need some time to adapt! I am gad you are way better now 😉

You are welcome, it definitely takes courage but I feel it is better to be honest. Wow, that’s a lot of moving. I would love to travel for a year! I am glad these changes make you happy. I am glad I am better now too. Thank you for sharing your story and for the wonderful comment.

You are welcome, thank you for your wonderful comment. I really appreciate it so much. There really is something about the fear and doing it anyways, almost makes you feel that you can accomplish anything.

I am an extrovert…but I relate so much to this post! I fell in love with a man from WV over Twitter and phone calls. I left Kansas too (Go K-State!) to live with him. We drove from Kansas to WV over a few days stopping near Nashville one night and Ashville NC the next night.

I don’t think extrovert/introvert matters much….cause I did the same thing you did. I felt so isolated! I didn’t know how to get to Walmart, I didn’t see familiar faces at Target. I was scared and freaked out. It wasn’t until my husband began taking me around the area and letting me drive that it finally began feeling familiar and more comfortable. It took time, but I’m beginning to find things about WV that I love more than Kansas. (The weather for one thing – I don’t miss the 105 degree summers and -10 winters at ALL!!!)

If you ever need a fellow Kansas girl to chat with about what you miss from home, feel free to reach out! I’m @MamaDweeb on Twitter. You’ve got this!

Thank you for such an amazing and thoughtful response! And yes go Kstate! Your story was truly touching. Someone told me once that my introvert quality won’t get me any friends, I have to change myself to find people. It’s so amazing to meet another fellow Kansasan by the way. I will for sure look you up on twitter. Thank you so much for the boost of confidence. I definitely do not miss the winters but I actually loved the summers as I am a sun girl!

As an introvert one of the hardest things in the world for me is to meet new people and acclimate to new surroundings. I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I moved to a new city, but I feel like I’d find myself alone more often than not. I’m glad you are acclimating to your new surroundings and I hope you figure out a way to make your new life feel like home.

It really is hard, I definitely understand you there. I am still alone more often than not, but the thing is I am starting to learn to love myself for who I am in those times. Being alone has given me the time to work on myself and I feel that I finally have the room to grow. Thank you for your sweet words, I really appreciate them!

Well done on sharing your experience and for having gotten through it! They say moving is one of the toughest things we can go through. I am so sorry it all had to get worse before it got better and I am really glad everything started to improve for you. Congratulations on the new job, I hope you enjoy your new home.

Thank you for your kind words. I definitely did not enjoy that worse time before it got better. I am thankful for all the adventures we have had since we moved down here. I just hope my story touches someone else as much as I have grown from it. I have definitely been enjoying it more. Thank you for your wonderful comment, I really appreciate it!

You are welcome, thank you for reading! I know mental health isn’t easy. It really does impact your life more than people realize. Trying to bring awareness to it. Thank you for your wonderful comment, I really appreciate it!

Although I would not consider myself as an introvert, I did a major move 17 years and it was the most difficult moment in my life. At that time, you would think that I was an introvert because the culture shock was so hard for me to adapt.

Wow, that is intense. I’m so sorry you went through that! I’m so glad that you seem to be doing better. I struggle with anxiety myself and I definitely agree that a pet seems to be the best companion. I hope you are able to continue to find great things about your new area!

It is hard but I did manage to get out of it. I do believe pets are amazing companions for people with anxiety. I hope I am as well I’m ready for spring and summer to get out and explore more. Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate them!

The depression and isolation is definitely the hardest part. I am glad you are doing better! Traveling helps me as well, as it makes me feel less lonely for some reason. Same here, anytime you need to talk don’t hesitate to reach out.

I’m glad that you feel better now! Moving is a tough business, and being an introvert myself, I can definitely relate to your worries. Also, I spent the whole autumn looking for a job to do beside university, and god, it is not easy. I remember how depressed I felt after trying, and not getting any reply. It’s great that you got over the toughest period, we are all happy to have you here ♡
Good luck with your new life!

I am glad to know someone else can relate. Thank you for sharing your story, I definitely can relate to it as well. It’s hard to keep getting back up after being knocked down numerous times. I really appreciate your kind words! Thank you so much.

I can totally relate! We’ve moved across country to two locations in the last three years where I have known hardly anyone but my husband. They have been some of the best experiences because they force you to reevaluate what is important and grow outside of your comfort zone!

I definitely agree with everything you said! It has made me grow above and beyond what I ever thought my comfort zone was. Thank you so much for your comment and sharing your story. I really appreciate it!

Moving is like a little death, death to your old life, home, job, etc. It’s always challenging to embrace the change, however it can be an exciting adventure. What will my new life look like? My new job, home, etc? I’m so glad you had your dog to help you get through the challenges of change. Animals truly are a glorious creation!

It really is but at least you can go back whenever you want meaning for a visit. I am very thankful for my pup. Animals definitely are wonderful to have around. Thank you so much for your comment, I really appreciate it.

They truly are, but time has helped those hardships. Being an introvert is never easy, as we are usually misunderstood and struggle in parts of life that people do not understand. Thank you for your wonderful comment, I really appreciate it.

Loved you story and I am glad you feel better. I had very dark moments too … I personally love moving into new cities and try new things but I understand it can be hard too. Good luck for everything XXX.

Thank you for your kind words! They are much appreciated. Time makes things better. I am debating on moving to another new city, I’m kind of liking the taste of moving, as you can always fly home. Thank you again so much.

Moving to a new place is definitely one of the biggest changes you can make in your life and it’s always full of uncertainty. I’m glad things have started to look up for you and I hope they continue this way!

I imagine wondering about my family would be the hardest part. As if it my dad’s looking to move to GA and my brother lives in Key West- so imagine if I really did move to Dublin! Probably nobody would visit me! There are always jobs to find, always new places to fall in love with. If it were me I would focus on that- the love of exploring with your camera!

I would visit you! I’ve always wanted to go there but that definitely is a lot of variation with all the places your family is living. I definitely have been exploring North Carolina a lot. I have even more places I want to go this year, just eager for spring to get here. Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate them.

I can relate to this so much. I moved away earlier this year and I would say that I am very introverted so I struggled really badly and unfortunately, the family members that I moved in with made it even more difficult for me so I had to come back.

It’s definitely a struggle. I am sorry to hear the family members you moved in with made it harder. That is not good, I am sorry you had to move back. Thank you for sharing your story and for commenting. I really appreciate it.

Your struggle with depression is not easy but to over come it and stand for yourself against it is very inspiring. Changes are not easy to go through it happens to me too only that I never think of suicide and I guess I will never think that way. Youre brave and courageous, may you be full of joy and happiness this year!

Thank you very much, all of your words are very sweet! I definitely appreciate them. Changes are definitely not easy. I have never thought of it before and never want to again. I was just trying to be honest about how change really affected me.

I’m glad you were able to get out of your depression. It’s not the most pleasant of experience to move to a new city and not be able to get a job, I know because I had to stay for a year without one and it was the worst time in my life. And the husband din’t make it any easier. Thanks for posting.

It really is not, but time makes things easier. Oh goodness! I cannot imagine going somewhere new and not getting a job for a year. I’m sorry your husband didn’t make it easier. I hope things are better now. You are welcome, thank you for sharing! I really appreciate it.