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You are the extension of energy that remains and never dies, it is never lost and never achieved, you are the gift everyday I receive!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

This will be a journey to follow the next couple weekly additions…………… Sit back, grab a cup of tea and be present with me……………………..

How is everyone doing? Summer is officially here where I live and I love it. Sunshine is where I thrive most. It charges me up in every way, it’s when I am the most inspired and the most energized.

I love to adventure not just the world but my heart, what is it telling me, what does it need to grow more?

How am I serving it in the best way possible?

To adventure your heart is to adventure life, all you know is what’s there. Take another step past there and bare your curiosity and tenacity to share.

Have you ever thought about where there is for you and if you’re interested in more?

I have been stretching myself in many areas I was resistant about before, listening to what my heart says, when I am in a busy place, what does it tell me when I feel panicked, unsafe, unclear, determined, joyful and all emotions and feelings that run through me?

How is my heart interpreting that emotion or feeling? I ask my mind to support my hearts calling. To help guide me in the most efficient and healthy way possible.

I used to completely resist things that life eventually forced me into. In a grateful way I know my heart over ruled my head and gifted me the opportunity to grow beyond what I know.

Watching and experiencing someone you love suffer, either grows you or overcomes you.

This was not the life I had explored and was optimally prepared for, why would I ever prepare for tragedy to traumatize my life? Life can instantly change, and what I learned is this, it’s you ultimately that decides if you will breathe, stress, give up, give in or let go or allow the emotional holds.

An emotional hold comes from a memory, a scar, a moment in time we feel we can’t change, we dwell and deepen the caverns that pain entered by living there in memory, as if we are shackled to the walls of the trauma. Our systems are changed, our wiring re-arranged, our hearts struggle and our minds shut down, a sort of short curcuiting burns what we used to know and rebuilding is often slow. For some the shackles rust and close and darkness becomes a place where you live and windows don’t exist.

I don’t know why? Each person has the ability to fly, we all have something inside that is divine, however when the darkness is where you hide, light can not enter to find that place so divine. This is a believing your more, something other than the darkness or the light to explore, an energy field that was placed to move anything and everything you choose.

Before Zakary’s body died, I already believed he would still survive, this never waivers. Whether his body is here or not I know he is still alive. I was blessed with a lighthouse inside, I don’t know why, I just know I have it. I can see the light when darkness closes in, my lighthouse shows me the way, its always working, its always leading, its always believing, it’s set, it’s on auto, it’s me, it’s the divine light I choose to be.

Zakary had it too and so do all of my children. It’s not different than everyone else, it is your truth.

Without owning judgements or opinions, traumas and others decisions, without a stereotype, a list of what I may or might, should or shouldn’t, could or couldn’t, without a question or waiver, the light is divinely given and yours to receive. You don’t stand in line waiting to buy it, or need to wait your turn, it is yours to discern, to own, to accept, to rely, to believe, to embrace, to know, to rejoice, to grow.

The lighthouse is not your ticket out of messes or challenges, it is not the ticket to glory or the easy way. It is simply your base, your place to rest, to embrace and know when you stand in your TRUTH, that is the lighthouse that radiates light beyond the darkness you hide your truth.

I want to tell you about a moment in my life where beyond trauma and beyond pain, the lighthouse still remained.

After losing Zakary in the physical form and spending years before working so hard on knowing myself enough to let go of myself, which still takes constant work, this isn’t natural my any means yet. It’s still a foundation I build on daily.

What does it mean to know yourself and let go of yourself?

Stop trying to be more than you are right now, be who you are NOW, being present in this place is where you can let go, so energy flows and change occurs and now is never missed. When I learned this, I was able to receive a divine connection with Zak and energy started to flow so differently.

Until I accepted who I was now and quit living in when, where, how, should, shouldn’t and somehow, that blessed resistance that keeps us out of now and into later, when and if. You know, the place we question and persist into because the moment is uncomfortable and we want more NOW. The place you try to live in another’s expectation of space, time and success.

Listen to that!

I listened to the aching and crying , the deepest pain and agony of my life, my son suffering. I never wanted to accept he could die, I could not grasp that at all. I just wanted so bad to let go of the pain and be present in knowing every feeling and connecting with Zak so that I would never miss a moment in the now because I was so scared of never finding somehow.

The part of me believing he would live and the determination of a mother to fight for her child’s life with all her might was mighty and present. However, there was also another part I fought with (the darkness), what if I couldn’t find the cure, what if he left resenting me for being his mom, because I couldn’t fix it?

OMG, I can tell you there was not an emotion I didn’t feel. Somehow the depth of me was dug out with a bulldozer and filled with fear, desperation, shame, guilt, how the hell would I make it through losing a child, what did I do or not do, would I die too, would I stop breathing and my other children experience the loss of a brother and a mom?

How could I stop this downhill slide and more importantly how could I hide it from anyone, let alone my kids, that didn’t benefit from their mom losing her ground, her mind and her peace and support for them?

The lighthouse never turned off, despite the dark caverns and storms, lightening, earthquakes and tsunamis of the inner self.

Finally ,we knew, we surrendered to what our fears had to show us. It was a rocky road, face plants, arguments, space invasion, fear we drew near, loss of ourselves, a separation from now into an adrenaline rushing pain you don’t escape. You have to face it or die without ever embracing what it has to show you.

Through this we gained a silent connection that spoke louder than any words could ever come close to.

I could cry my eyes out miles away and Zak would text me and say, “mom are you ok?” I could ask a question in my mind and Zak would text me and say,”mom I can hear you.” This is just a couple of the many times we had this type of thing happen. We had many talks about the connection and our ability to hear one another even when we weren’t right by each other.

I wanted so bad to know that I would never lose this connection, whether he stayed or if he left. It became our gift to one another, a knowing and allowing to give and receive love beyond what the human body could comprehend.

He is my connection, he is my child, my extension of love, how could we not have it. Instead of surrendering into my own truth, I realized I had surrendered into the fear of religion that all of this happening wasn’t possible. That somehow there was a separation between God and all that has been created and words defined and expressed what my heart never could accept.

MY HEART KNEW MORE!

This changed everything, our worlds opened, there was no longer 4 walls dictating our destiny, our purpose, our truth. This is where years of religion and dogma disappeared, where the shackles of judgments and opinion and fear instilled into our bones was shifted.

Divine love, infinite possibilities became the path less traveled. God did not limit us to a book or a word, a feeling or a demand. God does not make us suffer or ridicule and judge us. God does not instill fear into us. God is LOVE. God is not looking down at you pointing in direct discipline and directing disease and traumas at you because you deserve it. God created us all and gave us choice, a collective participating ability to work together or not.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Example: You can raise your kids as perfect as you believe and they can still go a completely different direction. This is not God making it happen, this is Gods creation of energy flow and motion, action and reaction.

Its given as your gift to accept or resist, either choice is movement, grow or change, be present or die resisting.

You were not created with so much more than you know on accident, life is a collective responsibility and an energetic connection between us all that is not separated and is experienced through every single persons reaction and action collectively. Like it or not we are connected and what we each do affects our collective space.

When you decide to arrive in the NOW you will feel the divine connection to flow more freely into each now more and more presently, this is where you grow.

To be Continued………………………… Zak arrived AGAIN in the mountains of Utah in the biggest, no mistaking present way, where I was off the grid, no service and vulnerable to the elements of emotion and mother nature’s decisions, 16 degrees at night and ice on the inside of my car among a few other elements that make this ride one forcing me into the presence of my deepest truths.

A traumatic moment in time occurred and Zak showed up and shifted a trauma into my greatest opportunity for growth…………………………….

I’m finally getting the third one out, no one said it had to be 3 consecutive days, right?

WOW, last week went so fast, sorry for missing my weekly addition as well, I’ll do my best to get it out this week, so many amazing days and changes and so much joy and sunshine. I hope everyone is doing super fantastic. Busy summer days have arrived!

This week I pick this quote,”Fall in place and embrace your hearts pace”, for this simple reason, you have to fall into place, embrace your space, your pace and flow. When you go out of flow nothing happens except a backup of pressure and stress and nothing good is expressed.

Lean into the embracing space of your pace

Listen to your own heartbeat

Like a breeze of gentleness

Create a healthy pace of appreciation

It takes Love to love

It takes frustration to share burdens

It takes anger to share complaints

It takes shame to share the blame

It takes guilt to remain insane

It takes LOVE TO LOVE

Love flows, it gives, it lifts, it builds

It flows, it receives, it knows

Love embraces you in a beautiful space of respected pace

Sunshine

Breathe into the pace your heart is asking for. Pushing yourself in some things is wonderful, however, if you are missing the beauty, the love, the healing, the breathing, the body movement that keeps you in a flow of health and happiness then your missing YOU.

I remember all too well the many years I didn’t respect my own pace. You can’t heal in this space, you don’t grow, you just change, you start to resent everything and nothing all at the same time because you cant see or feel your own emotions, while you’re trying to keep up with everything and everyone except you. YOU are the most important part of the Y O U, embrace your pace!

This is a beautiful challenge as you all know by now quotes are one of my favorites and always an addition to every one of my writings. Most of them I write myself with a few favorites intermingled in when I feel it.

My girlfriend sent me this one the other day and I love it…

What if no one ever broke your heart: they broke your expectations? And, what if, by breaking your expectations, they brought you closer to your heart?

~Kyle Cease~

This one touches a deep place inside for many heartbreaking situations over my lifetime. We all have them, right, but do they bring you closer or farther from your heart?

I can honestly say my heart is wrapped divinely and woven in profoundly to the pounding of the earth as one, echoing love into the universe.

Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.

~Brene Brown~

How do you show up for yourself daily?

Healing from anything takes times and kindness to self. I’m about to spill some serious information and things I have done this last 8 months healing from the loss of my 24-year-old son, who left this earth without any lack of suffering from Leukemia.

I never could have imagined in my wildest nightmares what losing a child could do to you. Brene Brown wrote that amazing quote and it’s perfect, it requires a full reorientation of just about every detail of life.

In reorienting, (I’m definitely still in the process), I consider myself to be farther at this stage than expected, for some very important reasons.

I stopped allowing other people to tell me, when, how, or what I was supposed to feel like and I took off on a road trip for 40 days and nights and intended on being inspired and I was that times a million.

It’s not the decision everyone would make. I felt like if I didn’t do something drastic and push myself I wasn’t going to get up at all one day.

The trip had emotional challenges that whooped my ever loving ass and Zak arrived in a fighter jet to confirm I was going to make it as if he planned it all. He knew when, how and the exact moment to show up and it wasn’t with anything less than IMPACT.

Being so vulnerable and so disoriented meant remote quiet areas were a must and just diving into Mother Earth’s beauty was critical, she reflected back to me the beauty I had forgotten in myself and opened creative spaces that had slammed shut.

The disorientation started for me the day I found out Zak had 95% cancer in his body 5 years ago and in a day all our lives were changed. Nothing was the same, NOT one thing. It was like I entered a new world and the rest was left behind.

Fast forward to the last 8 months……I knew specific nutrition to get through the trauma I experienced. Be conscious of what you’re going through and evaluate the changes you need to get the best results.

Food Matters Recipes has some amazing recipes and information that will blow your mind, don’t tiptoe – dive in and explore the beauty of transforming your food into giving your body what it deserves.

Here are some Food Matters interviews on the subjects of healthy bodies and minds, dedicate some time to health education.

I’m sharing this because, through trauma and stressful situations, this is something you can control. I know with all my heart that if I didn’t do these things my health would be suffering greatly.

Thank your body daily for all it does for you!

You won’t escape stress, heartache and a few hard knocks, at least I don’t know anyone that has. I suppose its possible, but what a bummer to not experience pain, how would you ever appreciate joy?

Part of my life passion is to help as many people as I can into movement. Movement your face if you cant move anything else and start from the head down.

YOU’RE WORTH IT!

One of my other favorites you can do anywhere, anytime and since I have been doing this I have grown leaps and bounds, is the Tapping Solution, I watched this documentary on The Tapping Solution, and it changed everything for me.

YOU’RE WORTH IT!

Releasing the less-than-positive self-chatter first is key to your healing forward. This might surprise you. I’m NOT a law of attraction fanatic, I’m an earth loving, soul driven, nature-inspired lover, of life and if anyone can make a rainbow from tears it’s me. However, in order to attract the positive, you must heal the negative, acknowledge it, face the truth and release it to make room for all you want to attract.

YOU’RE WORTH IT!

Are you walking around covering your own self-shitty talk with a mask of denial? Face it as your truth and then love yourself unconditionally forward. It’s acceptance and freedom to be empowered right where you are so you can attract what you want and have room for it to arrive.

YOU’RE WORTH IT!

Don’t let anyone tell you, “just be positive” when you don’t feel that way, we already know that part, its common sense. Having it in your face is simply the same as putting your hand up in front of someone’s face and telling them you’re not interested in their truth or authenticity, but if they put on a mask to please you, they will be fine.

Who is this fine for?

Be you in all your beautiful forms, sad, mad, angry, blissful, joyful, blessed, excited, fearful, tenacious, tender, grateful, generous and so much more. These are emotions, have them, embrace them, nurture their evolution of changing, rearranging and creating new spaces for growth.

Here’s another amazing enlighting experience for free www.jovianarchive.com/Human_Design/Why This gave me a wonderful foundation and confirmation of my strengths and weaknesses I was born with and how to work better with my personality type. I’m a manifester, one of 9% of people, this is just a small part of the genetic and energetic make up you will get to know in your chart, to help you create the best success for yourself and it’s fun and interesting.

Reflection is in the eye of every beholder, linked perfectly to expression and emotion, where the heart goes is where your truth shows.

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Embrace the reflection
Limb by limb again
Rightside up
Upside down
Significant details are profound
Imagine that was you
In the reflection and truth
What would you see
With no mistaking
Limb by limb
Wrinkle by wrinkle
Do you love what you see
Like the reflection of this tree

This is a beautiful surprise and a wonderful award of Sunshine to my Sunshine. Thank you to my blogging friends https://awakeningwildflower.com/, I am always inspired by your stories and your journey to healing is amazing, your an angel yourself.

Thank you Sally also for nominating me and giving me the opportunity to share with your followers as well , I love the smorgasbord you have and resonate with your passions for so many things https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/:

The Sunshine Blogger award is given by bloggers to bloggers who inspire positivity and creativity in the blogging community. I am very honored to have been nominated.

I am a nature wanderer and lover of life, a waterfall luster that includes swimming for miles(literally) feeling my most freedom and peace there, this qualifies me as a lake lusting mermaid as well, I thought I was a mom first but they all grew up and left home and my son recently grew his wings way faster than I can process and flying the heavens in fighter jets. What I found out recently is that in all my studies and all the wonderful knowledge I have built over these years, it really comes down to I’m me and that envelopes a ton of passions that all lead to nature.

My blog was created to be all about encouragement and a creative invitation to allow your own thought provoking inspiration to bubble up, in all kinds of ways and perspectives. .

3.What is the strongest memory from your childhood?

Living in the mountains, precisely why I am so drawn to it now, it was my refuge and still is.

4.Can you tell us more about where you live and why you call it home?

I left my home, my personal training gym and spa when my son got cancer almost 5 years ago. I never looked back, it was a new journey to invest all I am and have into my child.

( A lot here in the middle)

I live in the sunshine right now and am blessed to have more than what I need and a support system around me that is rock solid unconditional love to go through the exploration of a new self after the loss of my child.

6.Is there a country that you have not visited but is on your wish list?

I would love to go to Indonesia, really, I would love to experience as many as I can in my life.

7.Who is your favorite author and why?

I love reading and have so many and my favorite changes, its completely in the moment for me. I’m usually reading new things I can grow from.

8.What is your favorite meal?

I love raw foods and am super creative with food so this one too is dependent on the moment. Id say probably fresh juice in my juicer tops it all for me.

9.What is your favorite musician and can you let us have a YouTube link so that we can listen to them? I would say anything Tim McGraw and Faith Hill …………….

10.What is your favorite film and why?

Lion King, it was always a movie my son and I watched and had mom and son dinner dates together up until his last days and then he wanted to watch Tarzan with his entire family around. I’d say those two because they remind me of him and our time. I don’t own a TV and never have so I’m not a TV or movie buff.11.If you could live in another time.. decade or century.. what would that be?

In the 50s and 60s for sure when you could dance in the streets and there was no traffic or social media and nature was everywhere, you didn’t have to drive miles to it, and you spoke to people on the phone and not computers.

Thank you also to my beautiful friend and blogger for you questions. I loved your questions and answered them all to myself out of curiosity. https://awakeningwildflower.com/

My 11 questions for my nominees:
1.What is your favorite food or recipe and will you please share it?
2. Do you have a pet and or more and what are their names?
3. What are 10 words that best describe you?
4.What is your favorite activity?
5.Where would you live if its not where you are now, if you could live anywhere in the world? and where is now if that is exactly where you always dreamed to live?
6. What was the inspiration to start a blog?
7. Where are you drawn more to, water or earth or sky?
8. What is your favorite color and why?
9. To get away , where do you go most?
11. What would you like most for people to receive from your blog?

Mother Nature supplies you with all you need, you must open your senses and be willing to escape the pace that keeps you chasing yourself and be willing to create a healthy space for YOU to arrive!

~Kerri Elizabeth~

Affordable feel good Skincare:

My favorite is to let my skin be free in nature, rub mud and clay all over me and scrub and feel the magic of mother natures energy!

I

A few common questions I am asked about skin as an esthetician.

What do you use on your skin? Coconut oil

How much does it cost? Depends on if it’s organic and how much you use.

Do I need expensive products? No

Does it matter if I’m older what I use? This is individual.

These are of course just some of the common questions, feel free to ask me anything you’d like. I have been making most of what I use on clients and on my own skin for years now.

I don’t buy expensive products, although I have over the years and I don’t like the chemical smell or feeling. (You don’t have to buy these brands, I just posted photos for you to see an example.)

Our skin is our largest organ, if you don’t take care of it, it won’t take care of you.

I find almost always in my life, less is more and when you go live you feel alive.

I have tons to share on skincare but this is a start.

Coconut oil, Cocoa butter and shea butter are my favorite, you can buy these in the raw form and give your body the love it deserves without chemicals and processing. Mix them together and experiment.

I mix these and add an essential oil I like to it. You can look up all kinds of essential oils that are best for skin. I use what smells good to me and I decide the amounts for me and for each individual as I go, using intuition and muscle testing also to confirm.

This is simple, affordable and works amazing.

More books I love:

These two books have been very enlightening guides to my relationship with myself and learning more about listening to my soul, that always in truth brave, courageous part of us.

Nutrition:

The other very important tool I’d love to share is eating right. I have heard for years as a fitness and nutrition professional,” I eat healthy already”, but can you help me get in shape?

First thing I ask is for a 3 day exact menu and then I ask, “how serious are you and why do you want to get in shape?”

Learning to love food is equivalent to loving yourself, not someone else.

I know the moments where you just want to throw caution to the wind and eat something for a reward and feel like crap and wonder why you did it or what was the reward was if it makes you feel horrible?

There is an online journal called penzu that is easy to use and has an app for you phone to journal privately and share what you want, create a folder called foods or whatever excites you. https://penzu.com/

Mimi Kirk is my favorite raw foods chef if you like raw foods or want to experiment with recipes , here is her site http://youngonrawfood.com/

So journal your meals for a week, the feeling you had when you ate it and ask a professional to look at it.

If you are a surgeon you don’t have a nutritionist come in and sew up your patient.