All the stories you wish your mother told & a few you're glad she skipped.

#StartUp: Fantasy becomes reality and I have met the on-demand man of my dreams

I was scrolling through Facebook yesterday morning and saw an article posted from Reddit about this company called Manservants.co. Intrigued, I followed the series of links and wound up at this video:

This isn't real I thought (until I hit moment 2:16) and saw this screen ...

Cue Bill and Ted ...

& then cue song that goes with this post ...

I agree 100% with that video!! I can't stand male strippers. I can't even stand dudes that love to show off their six packs ...

I've dated those guys before, and never knew what to do with them. In my 20's I called them the "Adonises." They're the kind of guy that sucks to date because while you're enjoying a delicious burger they remind you that they only eat egg whites and chicken breast (just a skinless chicken breast) for every meal. Because they are so damn pretty you try to make it work, but boredom slowly creeps in, and you realize you'd have more fun either 1) watching paint dry or 2) watching him wash your car with your girlfriends in tow.

This does more for me than that ...

I have Magic Mike on iTunes and my ex would get pissed when I would watch it on the plane (no shame here).

Do you really need to watch half naked men? Women only watch those movies for one thing and one thing only, he said huffy.

See, that's what guys don't get. Maybe I am speaking solely for myself, & maybe growing up in the Dirty Dancing generation had something to do with it - but I think it's the sexiest thing on the planet watching a man dance. (IF he actually has moves.)

<tangent> Patrick has been my love since age 3. I have a shrine, I am 100% not kidding.

</tangent>

BUT I CAN'T STAND STRIPPERS!! They're gross, nasty, and absolutely not the way to turn a woman on.

I went back to the Island last week, and was asked over and over if I was dating someone, or interested in dating someone.

Come on, you're all "Hollywood" now, one woman said clearly trying to get something out of me.

In my 20s I cared about "finding this magical unicorn of a guy" - I'm over it. It doesn't exist. The only thing I know to be true is that to change the type of people you meet, you have to first change yourself.

I have an amazing dog (Buster always comes first), family, great friends, and am professionally successful - if a guy fits into the equation, awesome! If not, awesome! I'm done looking, and I'm DEFINITELY done waiting.

She pried further ...

But, what are you ACTUALLY going to do?

Having never spoken my actual plans to another living person, I figured, why not now? Ask and ye shall receive!

"I am going to spend 5-7 years in Los Angeles (hopefully) making a lot of money, then I am going to go entirely off the grid and learn a completely different skill set. If I weren't in tech I'd have been a veterinarian, so I'm going to either invest in some sort of animal sanctuary, or just quietly volunteer for however long I am needed (while having my money in a portfolio that allows me to live entirely off the interest). Then, following the animal trend, am going to take those skills and try a new type of business, or if I don't need to work at all, I'm going to be a cougar. If I was smart with my financial budgeting it shouldn't be a problem (I hate spending money anyway), so my plan is to annually lease a 21 year old (he has to be able to drink) to have something to look at, and befriend a gorilla & teach him sign language for companionship."

I know you all have seen Koko ...

She, at first, looked at me shocked - but then she started laughing when she realized I was serious.

You're being really serious aren't you?

100% I replied sternly. I want what I want, and I am going to do what I want to do.

Good for you, she said genuinely excited.

Personally, I think a startup like this is incredible. Women aren't strictly visually stimulated like men are. Watching a twig and berries in a g-string doesn't do anything for me. We don't want the raunch - we want to feel empowered, and like a goddess. THAT will turn us on. Sitting by a pool, tapping my Waterford glass to indicate I need more champagne and have a gentleman very eager to fill it? That I wouldn't be mad at. In fact, my birthday is in a couple of weeks, and me thinks I know what I'm getting.

<tangent> Speaking of servants, remember when I did the whole slave thing? I had, 7? 8? can't even remember ... well, I bumped into one of my slaves at this bar I went to for Sunday Funday with the Modern Day Shaman. (Only in LA would you be having drinks with your Shaman and obvi bump into an old slave. Totes normies.) We had a couple of drinks, nice dude, but it was super strange talking to him like a person.

After I left he sent a text saying that he was sorry I had a bad time. I sent this: