So I know "they" can remotely turn on or hijack the mic in my Android phone, or my laptop (I think), and listen to me, and recently it's occurred to me there might be an app to prevent this. Or at least to make them eat static when they do so. Anyone know of any such technology? I don't want the NSA to hear me commenting on the nice thighs of Japanese girls, that's strictly my business.

You can't stop the signal, but you can jam it. Just play this at all times and all surveillance will be neutralized.

The Man can not cope.

There is George! In the long sleeve leather jacket dancing. This loop is so cool!

I suppose you could break your microphone. Start using it all the time, running a sound loop. Find out where the hardware receptor is. Disable it with software. Spill coffee on it. Poke it with sharp instruments. Stuff it with dense foam. And when the mic no longer works, viola, job done. But then they'll just read your mind, or use through-the-acres technology to listen.

Or swap hardware with a friend periodically, so they don't know for sure whose IP address it is.

If you are going crazy concerned someone could be listening, create decoy recordings. Like, record your home on a set of days (or better yet, someone else's home). Have several different output players. At times when you need privacy, play one of these files. Personally, I would turn on fans, ionizers, the radio, another radio on a different station, etc... Just pile on the b.s.

If you are afraid you might say something you don't want people to hear, get a voice modulator. Or suck a kazoo.

Back in the day, with magazines, this just was not a concern!

If you have to discuss confidential stuff over the cell phone, what about getting some walkie talkies or short wave radio? Sure, they could still listen, but I doubt they would bother unless they had good reason, because it wouldn't be convenient.