The lawsuit goes on to allege that the disgraced athlete would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.

“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the hilarious and insane, but heartfelt complaint.

Riches wants his $63 billion "backed by gold and silver" and delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina, where he resides as an inmate, serving out a wire fraud conviction.

Good thing they requested their $63 billion settlement be backed by gold and silver. Securities and bonds are just too risky in this economic climate.