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I Like A Woman With A Sense Of Humor Who Isn’t Funnier Than I Am

I agree when they say that online dating is a mixed bag, but I’m glad to see that this is one of the good ones. After dinner, do you want to go get drinks somewhere? I know this place on Haywood Ave. that’s pretty great. Yeah? Awesome.

Hey, before we go, let me just say that that joke you made with the waiter about the sushi menu was pretty funny. I thoroughly enjoyed it, even if I didn’t participate in it. Well, I can’t say that. Look, I dig that you’re funny, but I’m gonna need you to tone it down a bit.

Yeah, I said it was important to find a partner with a “sense of humor” on the internet, but you didn’t think that that applied in real life, did you? What I meant to write was someone with a sense of humor that kind of only interests me. You know, like “girl funny.” Like, the kind of funny where you get drunk too fast, or say something dumb about cars. Not like “charmingly funny.” Not the kind of funny that captivates the attention of the room. Because if the room is looking at you, then who is looking at me? Do you get what I’m saying?

I’m not doing it for my ego! That’s crazy. I just need to be the dominant force in a conversation. What if there were more people here, or it was a group of you, and two other girls, and just me, and you all were talking and I didn’t know anything about the subject. Do you know how low that would make me feel? Do you understand how powerless I felt when I didn’t have a joke to put on top of the joke you told that waiter? Just cut off my balls right now, you know?

I don’t want to change your whole personality, but if we’re hanging out together, or you’re on your own, just try to consider me. If you’re at a bar with your friends, and you happen to attract the attention of strangers, male or female, that think you’re hilarious, keep it to yourself, okay, babe? Knock it down a notch. I consider myself a pretty funny dude. I wouldn’t have listed “sense of humor” in my “Best Features” category if I didn’t think that I was witty. But I can’t do anything with that wit if you’re the one making all the fucking jokes.

Oh, sushi is here. Good, ‘cause I am STARVING. Haha, wasabi. What if I just put it on everything? That would be insane. Haha, right?