Friday, December 31, 2010

2011 wishes

Happy 2011! Everyday I practice meditation, I sit down and contemplate on the beauty of life, service to others and sharing love and compassion. I get up from the cushion and bury myself with selfishness...Oh poor me, oh my this, my that...It is so hard to keep the practice real. So hard. These days, I have been challenged to see my jealousy rise so much...No, it is not about a boy this time:) It is business! Living in a small town, I am friends with all the other business owners and close friends with some. We see each other daily, we hug each other daily....Recently day after day, I am seeing our menu items in other menus...and I swear it is not things like pineapple juice! It is the stuff that I made up, "claims my ego". And my "friends" dont even mention that they put something that they love at Organico, in their menu...It is flattering to the ego for sure, but at the same time, I feel betrayal. I expect so much from human beings and just like every spiritual teaching says, you are bound to get disapointed if you have expectations...I suspect the teaching for me is to just be, open my arms and show love to these friends who live by different values. That is ok.

Why do I close my heart and become bitter and fearful and become just like them, maybe not in business but for sure in love. Instead of to celebrating differences and to love and accept each other as is, with no desire to mold, change, expect. I can't do it...I want what it is not there. I would only love unconditionally if.............Here goes my messed logic...Unconditional love with a conditional if...How silly...

I am not giving up, this is just the start...Everyday is a new practice, everytime the candle lights on the alter, it is a new beginning to be truthful, to be open, to be loving, unconditionally...the drunk on the street, the difficult customer, the lovebug, lazy employee...

Bring it on 2011. I am ready to go to the places I have never been, I am ready to cross boundaries, I am ready to lose myself and open to love...To all, no matter when, where, how...

4 comments:

I know exactly what you mean when you say you expect to much from other people, but you know, that doesn't really change in time unfortunately, because is who we are :) But you know what people say, "Ignorance is bliss"