Well I haven't posted in over six months (but I check out the site frequently) as I started the new job I stressed over getting and it turns out I LOVE it. Problem is, my old health anxiety has returned and this time it could have serious reprecussions if I don't address it.

I FINALLY went to a doc a year ago as I couldn't stand the panic/anxiety anymore and my blood pressure was through the roof. He put me on Toprol and Celexa (and Xanax to hold me over til the Celexa kicked in). I took the Celexa for about six months but then stopped because I felt it made me "edgy" (even though it did help somewhat with the depression part - I wasn't crying at the drop of a hat anymore). I've been on the BP meds since then but just a few weeks ago my doc up and left his practice (said he couldn't afford the malpractice insurance). He had said to call if we needed prescriptions filled before he left so I did - he gave me six refills of Toprol but when I went to refill it a couple of weeks ago, the pharmacy wouldn't because they said once he left his practice they couldn't refill his scripts anymore. So now I've been walking around without BP meds for two weeks and I feel like I'm going to have a stroke any minute yet I'm terrified to go to a new doc - I'm afraid I'll faint in the office before he can even put that darn cuff on my arm! I know I'm my own worst enemy because my BP spikes just THINKING of going to the doc (why I'm so terrified I have no idea) but it's just another chapter in my life-long health anxiety drama.

So today I decided to take the bull by the horns and make an appt. with a psychiatrist to try and figure out why I have this completely irrational fear and hopefully get the courage to go to a real MD and get checked out completely - which I haven't really done in l5 years. Maybe she would even give me a script for Toprol to hold me over til I can conquer this. It makes me feel so lousy about myself that I seem to have NO courage at all - especially when I see what terrible things other people have to go through in life so maybe the therapy would help me to like myself better too. Can't get the appt. til Oct. 31st but for some reason I don't have a fear of the shrink, just the physicians. In the meantime - are there any good natural meds for high blood pressure?

I was so glad to hear you were taking the "bull by the horns". Your Pdoc should be able to suggest a good medical physician for you. You may want to try an Internal Med physician. Internal Med physicians are trained to solve puzzling diagnostic problems and handle severe chronic illnesses and situations where several different illnesses may strike at the same time. They also bring to patients an understanding of preventative medicine, men's and women's health, substance abuse, mental health, as well as effective treatment of common problems of the eyes, ears, skin, nervous system and reproductive organs. Most older adults in the United States see an internist as their primary physician. I am not sure of your age but with the high BP and being on Toprolol an Internal Med Physician may be the way to go.

You will need your Pdoc too. Please remember that if you feel like your going to faint, speak up, it is always nice to know when a patient is not feeling well and you may lay down. This is a very common problem for many so you are normal as far as fear of the Doctors office.

Keep posting and glad to have you back.

Kitt

RespectfullyKitt

Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders

*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression

******www.healingwell.com/donate******_____________________________________________________"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” ~Rosalyn Carter

Wow, sorry to hear about what is going on with you. It doesnt sound fun, and i know what you mean about being your own worst enemy. Good job on making that appointment to see the psychiatrist, thats a BIG step when you're floating in the zone you are in. I think you're doing the right stuff, and i hope you can get you high blood pressure meds soon too...

take care, i wish i had some better advice to give.dan---Anxiety and Panic Disorder.

Thanks to you all for the kind words of support - this forum is about as helpful as ANY doc could be (other than not being able to prescribe meds) so I always come here when I'm feeling at wits end. Stay well everyone.

Hi Sweety: I have been through very similar circumstances as you. I get worekd up just thinking about my blood pressure. You'd be surprised, when you are calmed down and not worrying about it, your BP is probably fine. When I get into a doctor's office, my goes through the roof! I'm getting anxious just thinking about it. I found a cardiologist who really makes me uncomfortable to treat. I still have to take an Ativan before I go for a visit and do breathing exercises, but my BP is fine and I figure it must be even lower than that when I'm not there. Have you tried buying a home monitor? You'd be surprised how low it is at home, but don't go overboard with it. Anxious people like us can start taking it all the time which just opens another bag of worms.

I have seen a psychiatrist and it has helped me tremendously. I still get anxious and have attacks here and there, but understand more of where they come from and how to deal with it better.