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Friday, August 21, 2015

When you find out you are pregnant, your world changes. Excitement sets in, fear, friends go nuts, it's fun. What your friends don't tell you is the truth about labor and delivery. Heck for that matter they don't tell you about pregnancy. It's not a picnic. It's hard. And I was about to do the hardest thing I had ever done in my life.

40 weeks, Monday January 26, 2015. They decided to induce, because I had a low Papp A hormone in my placenta. They found this early so they watched her growth closely. After 40 weeks, it could be dangerous to keep her in there longer due to lack of growth, hence taking her out was the best solution.

So we went into the hospital at 6 am, just to wait a few hours before I was induced. We were up at about 5:30 to get ready. I was nervous but at this point, you can't be too nervous anymore you are about to meet your precious baby at some point in the next day or so. It was the unknown and everyone is nervous about the unknown.

The nurses got me all hooked up, and we waited for the doctor to come in. She was planning on breaking my water, and hooking me up to pitocin. I wasn't a fan of having to have that, but it was the safest thing for the baby. So, she came into the room about 8:15, and broke my water, very uncomfortable, and hooked me up to pitocin. It was go time! I had no clue what was next! about 9:00, the contractions started coming on, and soon, got strong. It didn't take long for them to get strong at all. I was starting to be uncomfortable. The nurse kept checking on me, and finally about 10:30, I said ok enough is enough! I am not going to be a hero. No one is going to give me a medal for not taking the drugs. There wasn't a break in the contractions, they just kept coming and kept getting stronger. I couldn't even count or try the breathing exercises if I wanted to.

It was time for the epidural! I told the nurse I was ready, and good thing I went ahead and told her, because it took about an hour for the guy to get to us! Another, not so fun thing, they tell you its great afterwards, but when you are contracting and your whole body is tense and stiff, and trying to not move for a needle to go into your spine, the combination is ridiculous! But, hubby was a champ and made it so much easier for me to handle, he was helping me every step of the way!

After a short time of the medicine going in, I felt relief. I felt soooo much better. Women who don't take it, wow I applaud you but modern medicine is the way to go. They say it makes it harder, or you don't dilate as quick or the baby is lethargic, honestly, to get through all of it, its the best. The nurse rotated me from side to side, and lifted each leg, and soon, I was dilated enough to push. This was around 4:00 pm. The doctor came in and explained what was going to happen, and brought in a team of new nurses. In theory, the idea of pushing sounds "neat" but its not. Its actually the worst thing I have ever done. The way its explained is not what you think, and what happens when you do, well lets just be glad they don't take pictures of it! Then shift change at 7, the room was buzzing, literally I had 12 people in there at the same time. The nurses changed at almost the exact time she was born, it was insane.

3.5 hours of pushing, exhaustion, not eating since the evening before, being nervous and scared, miss Ashlyn was born, 7:29 pm, 7 lbs. 2 oz, 19.75" long. Perfection! And I had done it, with a smidge of help at the end, but I had her. And it was the craziest feeling in the world. Just minutes before she was inside my tummy, and here we were holding her in our arms. It was surreal and wonderful all at the same time. I didn't even notice the fact that I still had to pass the placenta, and that I was in pain still. I just wanted to meet her.

These are things people don't tell you, the emotions that you feel once you have your baby, the amount of love that all of a sudden comes out. Everyone gets happy. Its amazing, and if one can experience it, I highly recommend it :)

The other things people don't tell you is the aftermath. What happens next? Well most women, you have time with your little one, the nurses continue to monitor the uterus and contracting, and you start working on breast feeding. Roughly 3 hours later, things shifted for me. The nurses kept coming in, and massaging my belly, which isn't comfy either. My blood pressure was fine, it was the oxygen levels, and my pulse that was off. They kept checking on me, but things got difficult. I had to pee FINALLY, I thought I could get up and have help to the bathroom. The nurse and B helped me up, and slowly made it to the bathroom. I sat there, not knowing what to do, its like my body forgot how to pee. I had to, but it wouldn't come out. Then, I passed out, all of a sudden, and then I was awakened by smelling salts, and 2 more nurses I hadn't seen before. They helped me back to bed, it was so blurry and more nurses came in. They worked on me a bit, and cleaned me up, then left once I was stable. Shortly after, B was talking to me, and again I started to go, the smelling salts came back and a slew of nurses were back in. Dr. was called and this one larger black woman came in and talked to everyone. She told all the nurses to move aside, and she proceeded to ring my stomach out like a dishtowel. Then what happened next, oh I will save you from it! But lets just say, the other nurses jumped and I felt a huge relief. My blood was clotting and the uterus was not contracting. I think there was bits of placenta still inside. Dr. decided emergency surgery was needed to stop the bleeding and clean me out. Mom and Dad were called, it was after midnight now. They wheeled me back and I just remember being so scared and not exactly knowing what was going on. I woke up in recovery with my Dad sitting by my side. Brandon came in, and was talking to the nurse who had helped me before. Again, all a blur, but basically the Dr. had to perform a D&C on the rest of the placenta, and stitch up part of my uterus, this was a rare situation, doesn't happen to everyone. Oh good grief! I just wanted to see my husband and my new baby, I hadn't even had a chance to really hold her and breast feed her, because I had so much going on after she was born.

I was groggy, big time. I was back in the room, but didn't know what was going on half the time. I was swollen from fluids and meds, and couldn't see anything. B did all the work, he changed Ashlyn, he fed her with a dropper, and he held her. I was too weak and too sore to do anything. I couldn't even sit up. This was miserable. It was 5 am Tuesday now, and I barely knew what had happened since I was on so many meds. It took the rest of Tuesday before I felt like I could even hold my baby. I had to have help when I did. I couldn't make it to the bathroom, I had to have help, and again, when I say I couldn't make it, I couldn't make it. The staff there was great, keeping me clean, having patience, and holding me up. Wednesday I finally felt more like myself, I could hold Ashlyn, I could make it to the bathroom, not everytime but most, and I was shuffling now, instead of being held to walk. It was a horrible experience. All our friends and family had been calling and texting and facebooking, and no one knew what was going on or what happened to us why we hadn't posted anything, or was calling them back. Yes you want to share all the news, but we had so many scares, that we just wanted to make it through each day. Ashlyn was fine, she was perfect.

The pediatrician came in, and checked out the baby. Everything looked great! She was really a 10! Then, the doc checked her hips, and noticed they clicked. She said she may have hip dysplasia, and recommended we get it checked out by a specialist. Of course it didn't dawn on me what that meant, I just wanted to get used to trying to feed her and hold her. Nothing mattered at that moment, I just wanted to be a mom.

Monday, June 29, 2015

I meant to post this awhile back, but I did the artwork for our little girls room. I enjoyed drawing and painting this so much. Its pen and ink, and water colors. I had found some artwork I liked, so I copied it and changed it a bit. B made the frames for the artwork, so it was a dual effort!

We decided to do maternity pictures, in December. What is normal about most Decembers is that its cold, no not in Florida. There are mosquitos, humidity, and heat. Of course, the one day we wanted to take pictures with winter clothes on, it was about 80 degrees, and I was HOT!
But they turned out great, our neighbor did them for us. And of course B was not a fan of taking pictures, but I think one day he will appreciate this!

So the technology now is incredible! You can see your baby moving in 3-D! So naturally we did the ultrasound, not knowing if we would ever get to do this again. We wanted to do things that meant a lot to us.

This was so cute, I was talking to her and she started looking up and opening her mouth like she was responding, it was so cool!

And the coolest thing was that our family got to be part of the experience. I am glad we got a chance to do it! B was so sweet to set it up!

So the summer ended, and fall came upon us, and then the holidays. November rolled around, and Thanksgiving. It took me back to just the year before in 2013, when around Thanksgiving, I was having my second miscarriage, and this year I was a very 7 month pregnant woman. It was a little scary still, we had December to get through and most of January. The year before rocked my world, I just didn't take the 2nd one well. I had seen it on the ultrasound screen. But this year was a happier time, and we had a lot to be thankful for. We were getting all the final things ready for the baby and B wasn't out fishing anymore, just in case she decided to arrive early, we just didn't know.

Sleeping at night started to get difficult, as if it wasn't already with peeing all the time. My hips started hurting the larger I got, and the bathroom breaks became every other hour. They say pregnancy gets you prepared for the sleepless nights to come...The pillows surrounded me as if I had a fort around me, our king size bed was much needed! Everything started to get difficult. I couldn't lean over to shave in the shower, I remember trying and could only get half my legs done. I had chipped toenail polish and I couldn't lean over to repair that. Picking things up got hard, I would ask co-workers to pick things up for me which was often because when you are pregnant you drop EVERYTHING! Its like you loose control of your hands! They are so fat and weak, nothing can be gripped. They don't tell you a lot of this stuff! I got winded walking fast, I had to sit a lot, and drink a ton of water, so my bathroom breaks were ridiculous. My clothes were starting to get tight, my maternity clothes! I didn't want to buy for a month so I stuck it out. I remember having to get B to take my toenail polish off, and my mom did my toes haha! I also had him shave my legs, it was getting bad. I had to really focus to put on shoes, which were slip ons, but to make sure I put the right colors on. I had B help me put lotion on my legs and feet at night, I had help getting in and out of bed sometimes, and off the couch. Aching and pains were everywhere, and she kicked me all the time. I had heartburn and indigestion from water, and air. It was a challenge! And the tiredness came back! Towards the end, I sat on a towel at work, and had one in the car, in case my water broke. I also had towels and liners in the bed at night, I had to be prepared!

And in December, when the weather was cooler, I was still hot. I had to walk outside at work to cool off. It was just back to being miserable. Being pregnant isn't magical, you are making a human and it takes everything out of you. Its wonderful but man I had every symptom!

Around the holidays, my family all came into town, along with B's parents too. We had a revolving door, my mom, dad, sister, fiance, and grandmother, along with in laws. We were busy. Everyone wanted to spend time with us before the baby. And B decided with all the family around, what better way to spend the holidays but tearing up the back deck. You see, about a month prior, I was on the phone with my friend and sat down outside because I was hot, and the chair went through the deck! I went flying forward, the phone went the other way, and the chair went yet another way. Its funny if you think about it. I didn't think I was THAT heavy! No it was rotten and mildewy and had to go. So B thought that it would be great to get this done when he was off, also the same time as all our family was around. It also rained the entire holiday!

It was quite the job, the deck was the entire length of the back of the house, and it was so wet the whole time. And I couldn't help at all!

We did break to open gifts!

And then he started up again with the framing!

And we took breaks to document my belly...

And then the fun started, putting baby things together. Which posed to be very difficult. The directions don't even help, its horrible! We had a time!

The holidays were fun but we were exhausted. When all was said and done, we had a half completed deck, a house full of boxes from gifts and baby things, and a need for sleep! We had a month to go once the holidays were over, and we wanted to take advantage of that time the best we could.

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About Me

I am an interior designer from Eastern NC who now lives in Northern Florida. I am passionate about color and design, making things beautiful, and anything that makes me smile. I love my little family,I love to eat great food, being outside in the sunshine, on a boat, or in a garden. I shop till I drop, and I hand-make as much as I can. I am hooked on burlap and crafty things. I love what I love, and thats the best way to describe me.
I also have been in the process of a new journey, journey to baby, which has come with a ton of challenges and hick ups along the way. This blog, my loves, and my crafting have helped me get through all the hard times.