The Daily News...

“Dear Sir (or whatever your name REALLY is): After following your proceedings, (or whatever they REALLY are), for some months now it seems to me – Yours Truly – (or whoever I REALLY am by now) that we are faced with the need for a whole new definition of the word ‘perplexing.’" Sincerely, blah-blah-blah.”

"Dear Reader: I am hard pressed to believe that we have truly wrung the last drop from the present perception of that most splendid word. (Thirty-Love, the fat planet’s serve.)"

When the time comes –EVERY one catches hell. (But as one cosmic coach noted –“It’s easier if you’ve got your own glove.”)

One chap who livedin the late sixteen hundredsdid so just as a ruse.

The Official Announcer of The City announced: “To certain death, do all things go,” and a fresh face amidst the populace asked, “Does that include adverbs and adjectives?” “Certainly not.”

One day, not long after the march of the Ides, a king sat the young prince down and said, “I shall tell you as my father told me – A monarch’s prime concerns will be taxes, religion, and foreign policy.” And the prince thought, “Where does getting’ laid come into all this?”