What To Watch When You Can’t Sleep: ‘80s Sitcoms Are The New Ambien

When I think about terms like peaceful and serene, the absolute last image that comes to mind is a New York City taxicab. More times than I care to recall, I’ve sat in the back of a cab as we frantically weave in and out of traffic thinking to myself, “Oh brother. I can’t believe I’m gonna die before accomplishing my lifelong dream of being retweeted by The Rock.” So it’s surprising that one of my favorite television nightcaps — a show you watch to help you drift off to sleep — is the classic sitcom Taxi, which is currently streaming on Hulu.

Starring a who’s who of comedic icons — Judd Hirsch, Marilu Henner, Andy Kaufman, Danny DeVito, Christopher Lloyd — the sitcom’s legacy, which includes 18 Emmys over its five season run, is unimpeachable. Taxi is unequivocally terrific. So what exactly makes this revered sitcom as effective as a shot of NyQuil and one of those over-sized turkey legs you can buy at the Renaissance Faire?

It all starts with the theme song.

If you combine the Taxi theme song with exceptional wi-fi and a pickup basketball game featuring me, Elvis Presley, Princess Diana, and Roald Dahl, you have my ideal version of heaven. It instantly puts your mind at ease with a delightful combination of simple visuals and soothing instrumentals.

There’s just something so snug about the zany, low-stakes fun of ’80s sitcoms. A comforting pattern emerges once you stream a handful of episodes. These jokers may continuously lob verbal jabs at one another, but it’s all in the name of good-natured amusement. The situations may be from the ’80s, but the characters are timeless. Misanthropic Louie. Slow-witted Tony. Level-headed Alex. You can select any random episode, set your brain to airplane mode, and embrace the cozy solace of familiarity.

Sometimes you just wanna go where everybody knows your name, which, of course, reminds me of another ’80s series that can help cure your tossing and turning turmoil: The Golden Girls.

Thanks to Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and Sophia, I’m pretty jazzed for semi-retirement. Living with your friends, eating cheesecake, razzing one another about hookups: The Golden Girls is all the fun of college with none of the work!

Like all great sitcoms of the ’80s, the series offers a variety of broad, distinct characters with divergent viewpoints and drops them into a comical situation where they’re forced to interact with each other. An enduring series that hasn’t lost its comedic luster, the Golden Girls is the perfect antidote to a stressful day.

One of the main reasons ’80s sitcoms have such a positive effect on your slumber is their episodic nature. It doesn’t matter if you’ve seen one episode or 100 episodes, the characters are so well-defined, so sharp, that you feel as though you know these knuckleheads. Sam is always going to be Sam; Norm is always going to be Norm, and that reassurance can be immensely comforting. You can fall asleep mid-episode knowing that your favorite characters will be right back to the same shenanigans the next time you hit play.

The Cheers theme song is a warm hug on a day you’d otherwise describe as a capital letter DISASTER. “Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got” is the nicest possible way to say, “Hey, life sucks,” which really isn’t that surprising considering the whole “lemons into lemonade” attitude is embedded into the show’s “lovable losers” DNA.

It truly is the most whimsical tale about low-grade alcoholism in pop culture history.

In the past I’ve suggested watching true crime shows like Forensic Files or Unsolved Mysteries as an alternative to counting sheep, but you can only stream so many murder shows before you start to dream about Robert Stack burying you alive as your sixth grade gym teacher menacingly looks on while lifting weights as if to say “I haven’t forgotten about your lackluster Presidential Fitness Test scores, bub.”

In other words: Embrace the relaxation offered from these television gems of yesteryear. Comedy has the ability to remedy many things, even insomnia. Allow the quaint charms of ’80s sitcoms to help you finally catch a few of those elusive zzz’s.