FIFA Official “Amazed” at Levels of Drunkenness at the World Cup

The World Cup is one big party. Soccer. Celebrating. Drugs. Sex. And yes, alcohol. Lots and lots and lots of it. Imagine the biggest sporting event you've ever attended, then imagine all those people so drunk and happy that they're liable to fornicate in the stands before halftime. It's basically like Project X but with 100,000 strangers speaking 14 different languages. Drinking requires minimal communication. Just nod at the beer man and hand him whatever local currency is valid. Then repeat that until you can barely tell which team is which.

This is, of course, no secret. But in a recent interview, FIFA secretary general Jerome Valcke seemed shocked at the levels of drunkenness in Brazil. From the Associated Press:

FIFA's number two official has said he's ''amazed'' by the levels of drunkenness in Brazil's World Cup stadiums, reviving a debate over whether alcohol sales should have been allowed at matches in the first place.

''I was amazed by the number of people who were drunken and the level of alcohol'' in Brazil, he said, adding ''I was a bit surprised.''

Just imagine if the United States was hosting the World Cup this year. #Levels to this shit.

Perhaps frightening to soccer fans, the 2022 World Cup is scheduled to be held in Qatar, where in addition to it being 1,000 degrees all the time, public consumption of alcohol is forbidden. Yeah. Good luck with that, FIFA.