"She's amazing. She's so down-to-earth and her family is great." A reporter asks if Jess is "the one" and Lynn says, with her fingers crossed: "You should ask him. I've thought that before. They're young. They have plenty of time." [People]

Jay-Z and Beyoncé are in Chile drinking virgin strawberry mojitos and eating ceviche by the rooftop pool of the W Santiago and you are not. [Page Six]

Ugh, Michael Lohan is talking about Lindsay Lohan again. He says: "My daughter needs rehab for at least 3 months… There are pictures of her out there… of her drinking and taking pills in public. If you're on probation, is that what the system approves of?" And, in a plea to Lindsay via this video interview on the internet, he says: "It really pisses me off that when you have trouble or when you're in St. Barth's and you have nowhere to turn to and you tell me everything is going awry and your sister is missing…I'm up 6 hours in the night trying to hire a jet to pick you up and take you home…and then you flip the script on me… This is about you getting well, you getting healthy, me loving you and wanting you to do the right thing. The prescription drugs are killing you." [Radar Online]

Lindsay Lohan is supposed to have a progress report in a Beverly Hills courtroom today. [Radar Online]

Charlie Sheen's rep says that Charlie Sheen is not going to rehab and that no one told him to go to rehab. [MSNBC]

Robert De Niro and Jeff Bridges just won AARP awards. De Niro, who got a Lifetime Achievement prize joked, "What are they going to give me 40 years from now — the He Lived Too Long Award?" [Page Six]

It's kind of hilarious when magazines publish celebrity Twitter messages as "news." Here, the revelation is: "Kim Kardashian Starting A Low-Carb Diet." Her Tweet: "I am NOT good at dieting! But I need to start eating better because its just healthy. I have such a sweet tooth, its gonna be hard." Scintillating. [Us Magazine]

Gwyneth Paltrow is filming a movie in Nashville and either brought two bodyguards, two nannies, a chef and a personal trainer or ONE nanny and ONE security person. [Page Six]

Tracy Morgan credits his 18-year-old son with saving his life back when Tracy was wearing an alcohol monitoring anklet: "I'm walking around with a bracelet on my ankle and my son looking at me like I'm Kunta Kinte, like, 'What you doing Dad? What if I start driving and drinking? Would that be cool?' And that was it for me. That was the end of it," Tracy says. He's been sober for almost two years. [CNN]

30 Rock character Avery Jessup — host of Hot Box — is based on a real-life CNBC anchor. [Page Six]

The buzz on Courtney Love's album Nobody's Daughter is that it sucks, but at the link, Judy Berman asks, "Could music bloggers at least wait until "[the album] comes out to trash it?" And: "Courtney Love courts the press, and she also may be unstable. She may have a drug problem. But how many male musicians can you name that fit this description? [Salon]

Britney Spears' ex, Adnan Ghalib, owes $7,565.97 in state taxes. [Matt Damon and Ben Affleck will team up and re-form their production company. In the past, they were responsible for clunkers like Gigli and Surviving Christmas, but perhaps they're older and wiser now. [NY Mag]

John Slattery and Talia Balsam — aka Mad Men's Roger and Mona Sterling — were at Nanette Lepore's fashion show on Wednesday, and both were dressed down: "After being on that show, I appreciate any chance to dress down," says Slattery. "I'm more of a T-shirt and jeans kind of guy." [WWD]

Bristol Palin's lawyer is demanding that CNN, Playgirl, Entertainment Tonight, The Insider, Star Magazine, and National Enquirer reveal how much they paid Levi Johnston for interviews, so that Bristol can prove that he should have to pay a certain amount in child support. [TMZ]

Jon and Kate Gosselin's "starter" home in Elizabeth town, PA: Sold. And for $22,000 less than they paid in 2006. [Radar Online]

Jon Gosselin's law issues with TLC have been settled, but Jon is not expected to return to the network. Kate will. [Radar Online]

Some random former ANTM contestant got in a fight. at a club. [Page Six]

"I love the movie. I get the feeling it's not gonna get much play, though," says Woody Harrelson of his new flick Defendor. The trailer is at the link, but this columnist says: "It just doesn't look like a winner." [LA Times]

"I'll still be around on the show, but less as of now. I'll tweet when a definite plan is set." — Kevin Eubanks on his Tonight Show duties. [People]

"I am saddened that yet another claim has been made that I have taken material from another source to write Harry… The fact is I had never heard of the author or the book before the first accusation by those connected to the author's estate in 2004; I have certainly never read the book." — J. K. Rowling, who has become part of a lawsuit alleging that she plagiarized part of her Harry Potter series. [E!, Guardian]

"Caution to writers: Don't expect that because you write a novel that becomes an Oscar-nominated film that you'll be invited to the Oscars. Novelists are like oil in H'wood: they drill us, pipeline us, pump us and then burn us." — Up In The Air novelist Walter Kirn is pissed he wasn't invited to the Academy Awards. [Page Six]

"I would like to see Sawyer grow towards the light. He's experienced that with Kate and then Juliet — that made him want to live again and live differently — but then it was all ripped away. So my hope for him is that he doesn't wallow in the darkness." — Lost star Josh Holloway. More quotes from him, including stuff about fatherhood — he changes diapers and wants to be his daughter's hero — at the link. [CNN]

"If I auditioned for X Factor I probably wouldn't get through the first process. They'd say, 'Oh God, not her.'" — Sade thinks Simon Cowell would reject her! [Gatecrasher]

"I'd love to play Stalin very much. However, it is all about a script and there is no such script at the moment. My grandmother was telling me about the Second World War, the Gulags and other Russian tragedies. I really do not know whether I'll ever be able to play the role and there is no screenplay for that yet." — Leonardo DiCaprio. [Telegraph]

"There will be people who say he deserves everything he gets. I think forgiveness, compassion, some dignity - he hasn't murdered anyone. What he did was terribly wrong in a time that was terribly wrong in many ways. There's forgiveness on her side. You just hope there's closure for his family and her family. He's a brilliant fellow and a very fractured man in many ways." — Pierce Brosnan on Roman Polanski. Brosnan stars in Polanski's new film, The Ghost Writer. [USA Today]

"I'm not remotely interested in Pride and Prejudice in any way and haven't watched it since doing it. But the word Darcy is like a phantom that won't leave me alone, like a school nickname that sticks with you for years afterwards. It was as if I hadn't existed before Pride and Prejudice. I was hailed as a new arrival even though I'd arrived ten years earlier." — Colin Firth. [News.com.au]

"I just had some work done on my chin and neck and had the bags taken away from under my eyes so I decided it would be good to get a new hair cut so people will think it's my new hair." — Jane Fonda, to Robert Evans. [Daily Express]

"No one likes getting their nails done more than I do . . . I go every four days to get a manicure and every seven days for a pedicure. So, I had a brilliant idea to get certified to be a nail tech. Don't be surprised if you hear about a part-time job I've picked up at a local nail salon." — Serena Williams. [Page Six]

"We want these to be a reminder in your purse to be safe. You can't slip up, you can't forget [to use a condom]. Let that lipstick be a reminder when your boyfriend or some new guy or girl says, 'We don't need condoms anymore, we're in love.' You know, fuck you. Put your lipstick on and leave." — Lady Gaga on her MAC Viva Glam Gaga lipstick. More Gaga — and Cyndi Lauper — at the link. [W]