After Jan Hall lost her mother to dementia, she wrote a guide to help others
in her position

As Jan Hall is only too aware, dementia is no respecter of status. Hall may be a dynamic City high-flier with an OBE to her name, but like millions of others, she has watched a beloved parent succumb to this distressing illness.

Hall’s mother Jean was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2006, and after a gradual but difficult decline, died four years later. Now in her early fifties, Hall has turned her talents to writing a guide to other families coping with dementia.

“I wrote the book to give others the hindsight I gained,” she says. “There are so many things I wish I had known.” With one in three people expected to develop dementia in Britain, and an estimated 66 million sufferers worldwide by 2030, this as-yet-incurable condition is causing concern to the leaders of the eight richest countries – the G8. Hall has been asked to contribute to a special G8 London summit on dementia later this year, on the initiative of David Cameron. The aim is to accelerate research into a cure – a goal she passionately supports.

Jan Hall’s parents, Jean and John, were, she says the “ideal couple”. Blissfully happy, they lived in Oakham, Rutland, where John worked as an engineer and Jean as a special-needs teacher. According to her daughter, Jean was “the best grandmother” – very close to Theo, Jan’s 17-year-old son, although, as the dementia took hold, the bonds loosened. “One day he said: 'I’m not sure I want to see Grandma again – I don’t want to lose my good memories of her.’ ”

The last few years have not been easy for Hall. Widely regarded as one of Britain’s leading headhunters, her mother’s diagnosis meant a shift in priorities, juggling a stretched professional schedule and a regular two-hour journey from her London home to her parents’.

Her book stresses how crucial it is for families to get practical help quickly. For the dementia sufferer, trusting a new face early on, before issues such as personal hygiene become a problem, is key. When the physical side of caring for Jean became tiring, John brought in help in the guise of a “cleaner” who would help with more personal care. “She wouldn’t tolerate a stranger and convinced my father to get rid of her. We got another brilliant carer who got Mum to wash and do things that Dad couldn’t get her to do.”

Maintaining social contact is also vital. A recent US study suggests that simple activities such as day trips or seeing friends can help reduce cognitive decline. Yet Hall points out that sufferers and carers often become isolated. “Sometimes the partner can’t bear telling friends what is going on, or friends can’t cope and simply abandon them.”

Remaining patient is another challenge. Hall says: “I could have been kinder to my mother more in the early stages. It’s important to realise that your loved one cannot help their confusion. If you can keep calm, react with a hug, play music and keep off anything contentious, life will be easier.”

Hall also stresses the single most important action families can take is to create a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA), enabling someone else to decide about welfare, property and money – something her father did in the early stages.

In the end, her father was worn down as Jean became more difficult to look after. “When she was first admitted to hospital for a possible minor stroke, it was the consultant who said that my father needed help. At that point he finally accepted he could no longer care for her. But she was so dependent on him that we had to do the incredibly difficult thing of having her sectioned, so that she could be admitted to a specialist dementia unit in Leicester. They cared for her wonderfully until her death.”

Since her mother’s death, Hall has been working with CEOs from several major companies, including Tesco, the Compass Group and Marks & Spencer. Together with Alzheimer’s charities and the Wellcome Trust, they have formed the Evington Initiative, named after the dementia unit in Leicester where Jan’s mother spent the last years of her life. Working with the Government, their aim is to improve the quality of life for dementia sufferers and carers. “Most of us have had experience of parents with dementia, and it gives us extra passion,” says Hall.

“It’s early days, but it gives me hope that, in some small way, my mother’s suffering won’t have been in vain.

“My mother was my best friend,” she adds sadly. “We talked about everything, but she wouldn’t accept she had a problem as the dementia set in. She wouldn’t engage with me about it. Did she know she had the condition? I still don’t know – but I hope not.”