the words of a feisty redhead

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Have you ever listened to the lyrics to George Michaels “Careless Whisper”? I was really listening to the song the other day and have had it stuck in my head for the last little while. I find myself singing it at random times. In the shower, while I’m out running, even as I’m writing this! I looked it up, and there are alot of covers to it as well. Seether’s is my fave. (Yep. Seether! I know, right?) The guitar at the beginning of it is truly haunting.

I got on the Google, and for the most part people seem to think that the song is about betrayal and repentance. When I hear the song, I hear a metaphor for a relationship. “Careless whisper” could be a betrayed confidence, gossip, lies, or some other form of a let down or bigger betrayal.

The most powerful point in the song (in my opinion) is:

“Tonight the music seems so loudI wish that we could lose this crowdMaybe it’s better this wayWe’d hurt each other with the things we want to say”

The song got me thinking…

After any kind of betrayal, how long does it take to get back on the dance floor?

And when there’s a past, there’s usually an ex or two left behind there somewhere. It could be an ex best friend, ex family member, ex boyfriend/girlfriend, or ex husband/wife. It’s how we deal with our past that partly defines us.

I met my ex husband (that’s right, I was a wifey…) when I was 21. He proposed & we were married just after my 24th birthday. It was a little bit of a whirlwind to be honest, but at the time it’s something we both had wanted. We had our honeymoon in Mexico, celebrated our one year anniversary in Mexico, went on numerous trips around Alberta & BC, went to far too many concerts (alot of which were metal shows, not my first choice but they were all new experiences for me so I went along for the ride.) and had a roller coaster ride of a relationship. Like most couples, we had our ups and we had our downs. We laughed, we cried, we fought, we made up, we did it all. Then after a year and a half, we simply stopped. We both knew that the feelings we had once shared for one another had faded and slipped away. We finally decided that in order for us to truly be happy, we would have to move on. I knew that he was hurting, as was I, but we both knew that it was the best thing for us. So there I was, 25 and separated. Although I think most had a feeling, it took a little while for me to tell my close friends and family what had happened. Each time I was asked how I was, I felt more and more powerless. People could see what was up with me though because I’ve always been a happy and positive person, but going through all of that I had become a “glass half empty” kind of girl. I really disliked feeling like that. Much like my car accident, it was something I had never thought I’d have to go through and also much like the accident, it’s something I look back on and don’t regret. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it hadn’t been for my past. I’ve been through so much in the last few years than I could have ever imagined and although there may be some things I’d like to say I’d want to change, I don’t know if I would because it’s all gotten me to where I am today. I’ve become so much stronger, more independent, and more aware of the things I want/need/deserve in life. Both my ex and I are in a much happier place now, we’ve met new people and I do wish him nothing but the best and hope he feels the same for me.

With every storm, there comes a rainbow…

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. I don’t regret regret my past because it’s paths have all lead me to the place I am today. I have the most wonderful boyfriend I could have ever asked for and for that I feel very blessed. We were friends first and when we realized how compatible (and lame) we both really were, we knew that we had to give it a chance. It took alot for me to get into another relationship, but I could sense that it would be different this time around. Mike is an amazing man and I’m a very lucky girl to be able to call him mine. Even at the start of our courtship (yep, I totes just said courtship. I’m classy like that.) we knew that we had something unique. Our first “official” date, we spent almost 14 hours together and about 10 of those hours were spent in the parking lot of a local convenience store. (Oh stop it. We weren’t making out for 10 hours in a parking lot. Dirty minds.) We sat there the whole day and talked. Talked about love, life, each other. We discussed if we were a raindrop, where in the world would we want to land. We talked about which Disney character we’d most like to be. (Which is now ironic because, being the lamesauce couple we are, have been playing Disney Universe on PS3 and in it we get to be ALL the characters. I just unlocked Ariel last night, so I had a major happy.) Also, I got all of his lame jokes and ridiculous references. We both have a dry and sarcastic humor, which makes us for a very entertaining couple to be around. And we both had never experienced a love like the love we share for each other. We’ve been through so much together in the last year and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. He tells me all the time how smart, beautiful, sexy, cute, and funny I am and most importantly, he tells me he loves me on a daily basis and how lucky he is to have me. Every girl (and boy) deserves a love like this.

Breathe in the future, breathe out the past…

Getting past another persons past can often be just as hard as getting past your own. But all the same rules still apply. Realize that everyone has one and they cannot be changed. And always remember that all paths have lead to the roads we’re on today. Without a past, we’d all be pretty boring in my opinion. And like Ms.Monroe said:

True say. Again.

I am now back to being a “glass half full” kind of girl. I try to see the positive in everything, no matter how difficult. I am thankful for all that I have, all that I’ve been through and all that has yet to come my way.