Or a critic you've never heard from some flyover newspaper/TV station, or a critic who's known for never giving a bad review.

by Anonymous

reply 23

10/11/2018

Ten minutes of beginning credits.

by Anonymous

reply 24

10/11/2018

It stars the offspring of a former movie star.

by Anonymous

reply 25

10/11/2018

people died making it.

by Anonymous

reply 26

10/11/2018

"From the studio that brought you..."

Not exactly a specific indication of quality.

by Anonymous

reply 27

10/11/2018

When the quote on the trailer/poster praises the cinematography. ("Four stars!")

by Anonymous

reply 28

10/11/2018

Stars an actor named "Chris."

by Anonymous

reply 29

10/11/2018

A supermodel has a hefty role in it. There are few exceptions, 5th Element being one.

by Anonymous

reply 30

10/11/2018

The tagline always starts with:

"This time it's personal."

by Anonymous

reply 31

10/11/2018

In promoting the film they keep bringing up someone's nude scene(s).

by Anonymous

reply 32

10/11/2018

When there are multiple commercials presenting the movie from every story line angle possible.

It's a comedy!

It's an action film!

It's a romcom!

It's a heartfelt drama!

It's a film for the whole family!

by Anonymous

reply 33

10/11/2018

Read between the lines. Look for words, phrases in the trailer script like “revival, In a world, in a time, in a place..., triumphant return to the screen, sequel, winner of Palme d’or, everyone’s favorite (fill in the blank). If the trailer script sounds like a movie you’ve seen before, it’s probably dreck.

by Anonymous

reply 34

10/11/2018

Julia Roberts is in it.

by Anonymous

reply 35

10/11/2018

I’ve found that whenever a movie commercial has the release date chyron on the screen from beginning to end, it tends to be garbage.

by Anonymous

reply 36

10/11/2018

Will Smith is in it.

by Anonymous

reply 37

10/11/2018

Trailer shows entire movie.

by Anonymous

reply 38

10/11/2018

"If you only see one movie this year..."

by Anonymous

reply 39

10/11/2018

The lead actors/actresses were models before branching off into film.

by Anonymous

reply 40

10/11/2018

If it is marketed as a sequel or prequel.

by Anonymous

reply 41

10/11/2018

Anytime a free screening pass is offered.

by Anonymous

reply 42

10/11/2018

I usually lose interest the minute I hear a voice-over narration at the beginning of a film.

by Anonymous

reply 43

10/11/2018

The trailer's narration starts with "In a world where..." something, followed by a pause, as an action clip is shown, then the narrator says, "it took one man..." then another pause as another action clip is shown, then "to make..." followed by the opposite of whatever the first thing was.

by Anonymous

reply 44

10/11/2018

When top billing goes to Henry Cavill or Matt Damon.

by Anonymous

reply 45

10/11/2018

It's anything to do dancers or singers struggling to become famous.

by Anonymous

reply 46

10/11/2018

The credits are in Comic Sans

by Anonymous

reply 47

10/11/2018

She is in it.

by Anonymous

reply 48

10/11/2018

If the taxes aren't taken out first from Fan Bingbing's paycheck.

by Anonymous

reply 49

10/11/2018

'by director bradley cooper'

by Anonymous

reply 50

10/11/2018

Its a remake of a beloved classic or has absurd stunt casting.

by Anonymous

reply 51

10/11/2018

If I’m not in it.

by Anonymous

reply 52

10/11/2018

_______ has never been better!

by Anonymous

reply 53

10/11/2018

Ansel Elgort stars as Tony

by Anonymous

reply 54

10/11/2018

The studio doesn't air it in advance for critics to review.

by Anonymous

reply 55

10/11/2018

The poster is awful

by Anonymous

reply 56

10/11/2018

Nicolas Cage's BIG COMEBACK!

by Anonymous

reply 57

10/11/2018

"An Alan Smithee Joint."

by Anonymous

reply 58

10/11/2018

If the trailer describes the film as quirky or edgy.

If everyone’s name must be preceded by an award win/nomination: starring Oscar winner Streep, Oscar nominee Amy Adams and Golden Globe nominee _______. If you’re not an Oscar winner/nominee, it’s not worth mentioning.

by Anonymous

reply 59

10/11/2018

Starring Adam Sandler

by Anonymous

reply 60

10/11/2018

A movie that originally had a white cast remade with a black cast

by Anonymous

reply 61

10/11/2018

r61 Cameron Diaz, Rose Byrne, and Bobby Cannavale are black?

by Anonymous

reply 62

10/11/2018

The good - Madonna in a supporting role

The bad - Madonna is the lead

The ugly - Directed by Madonna!

by Anonymous

reply 63

10/11/2018

The PR shills start threads on DL saying it has Oscar buzz.

by Anonymous

reply 64

10/11/2018

A handgun on the movie poster, with actors making intense faces in red or blue lighting and a shapley, young actress in the background.

by Anonymous

reply 65

10/11/2018

No R62, but Jamie Foxx and little black Annie are

by Anonymous

reply 66

10/11/2018

You get a used scratch n sniff card.

by Anonymous

reply 67

10/11/2018

"The PR shills start threads on DL saying it has Oscar buzz."

ROFLMAO, this one is so true! There was some troll saying that The Other Boleyn Girl was going to get tons of Oscar nominations including Best Actress for Natalie Portman.....then the movie actually came out, to mediocre box office and "meh" reviews.

by Anonymous

reply 68

10/11/2018

One word quotes from critics, movie blogs, and tweets.

by Anonymous

reply 69

10/11/2018

Directed by Michael Bay.

by Anonymous

reply 70

10/11/2018

All action, family/kids and horror movies.

by Anonymous

reply 71

10/12/2018

Framing a character from an much older time as "feminist".

by Anonymous

reply 72

10/12/2018

R72, feminism existed in the past.

by Anonymous

reply 73

10/12/2018

Released in January to March or August.

by Anonymous

reply 74

10/12/2018

It has Emma Watson in it.

by Anonymous

reply 75

10/12/2018

The only positive review is from Walter Monheit.

by Anonymous

reply 76

10/12/2018

I love you r76!

by Anonymous

reply 77

10/12/2018

Adam Sandler is in it.

by Anonymous

reply 78

10/12/2018

The blue screen does all the work in the movie.

by Anonymous

reply 79

10/12/2018

There's a group dance scene at the end of the trailer or a snippet of (middle-aged) women singing into hair brushes.

by Anonymous

reply 80

10/12/2018

Shut up G at R80

by Anonymous

reply 81

10/12/2018

"But they didn't count on....one man!"

by Anonymous

reply 82

10/12/2018

An aging action hero, long past his prime, is kicking the asses of ripped 25 year-old men.

by Anonymous

reply 83

10/12/2018

r83 just described every Liam Neeson movie

by Anonymous

reply 84

10/12/2018

Starring Oprah.

by Anonymous

reply 85

10/12/2018

The theme song is by Eminem.

by Anonymous

reply 86

10/12/2018

It's released on VOD the same day

by Anonymous

reply 87

10/12/2018

Dumped in, like, 5 theaters to hide the fact that Kevin Spacey's in it

by Anonymous

reply 88

10/12/2018

Allison Janney is not in it.

by Anonymous

reply 89

10/12/2018

Mariah Carey is in it.

by Anonymous

reply 90

10/12/2018

I'm not in it or I passed on it.

by Anonymous

reply 91

10/12/2018

Any involvement of Adam Sandler.

by Anonymous

reply 92

10/12/2018

An HD copy is up on the streaming sites at the same time the movie hits theaters.

by Anonymous

reply 93

10/12/2018

Any shot that has the lead characters walking in a group towards the camera in slow motion.

by Anonymous

reply 94

10/13/2018

If it's a "triumph of the human spirit" Oscar bait movie

by Anonymous

reply 95

10/13/2018

[quote]If it's a "triumph of the human spirit" Oscar bait movie

"He thought losing his arms and legs was his biggest challenge, and then the Holocaust happened. From the Academy Award®-winning director (insert name of director who hasn't made an interesting movie in at least 15 years) comes a triumph of the human spirit....."

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