Friday, July 27, 2012

Nobody makes me laugh harder than my son. And, I'm not the only one who thinks he's funny. Almost everyone who has ever met him says he's hilarious. His best friend's mom has been telling me for at least 5 years now that he needs to go into stand-up comedy. She's been known to call me in the middle of dinner at a restaurant, where she's having dinner with my son, JUST to tell me how hilarious he is.

Anyway, I had to share this with you guys because it's STILL making me laugh!!!

Last night, he was out with friends. It was getting late, I was tired, so I shot him a text. Here's our "conversation."

Holy crap, I'm STILL laughing out loud!!

He had me cracking up this afternoon again. Things around here have been a bit crappy, to say the least. I mentioned the air going out, and needing to be fixed. I also mentioned the flooding going on in my freakin' basement. Without boring you with all the minutia, Stud and I had to take a big load of nasty towels to the laundromat this afternoon.

This was the first time he had ever stepped foot in a laundromat. I don't think he was digging it. The laundromat is about 100 yards from a 7-11. On the way there, I asked him if he wanted a Slurpee, his favorite thing on the planet! He had said no. But, after we sat there for a while, in the un-air-conditioned laundromat, I was suddenly the one who really wanted a Slurpee. So, I left him with the laundry and went to get Slurpees.

When I went to pay for our drinks, the cashier asked me if I was going to get a ticket for the Mega Millions Lottery. I am absolutely NOT the kind of person who buys lottery tickets, but for some reason, after chatting with Hannah (the cashier) for a few minutes, I found myself buying 2 quick-picks. I made sure to ask her her name so I can give her a little something when I win.

I went back to the laundromat, and gave Stud his Slurpee. We were sitting there talking when I told him how I had bought a couple of lottery tickets. He stopped drinking his Slurpee, turned toward me, and said, "WHAT did you do?" I told him again, and he says "You bought a lottery ticket?"

"Um, yeah...."

"Given your luck lately, do you think that was the smartest decision?" Ha!! He's such a smartass!!

Then, he kept going.

"So, we're sitting here at the laundromat, drinking Slurpees, you don't have a JOB, and now you're buying LOTTERY TICKETS?! You don't see it?!? Are we stopping at the trailer park on the way home?"

I couldn't help it, I spit Slurpee all over the place! That kid just cracks my shit up.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Haven't felt like writing much the past few days. I think it could be PMS (sorry, boys!) I've kinda had the blahs. But, I've been neglecting my Bloggy Buddies, so I thought I'd share a few things that've made me laugh recently.

This fits the Hell-Hole to a T!

Again, I can relate.

I'm sending this one to my sister and my Bestest Friend.

I'm printing this one out and hanging it on my wall!!

This was just TOO unbelievable not to share. What the actual fuck?!

Again, Sister and Bestest Friend will be receiving this one.

LOVE this. And, LOVE Betty White!

I think my brother wrote this one. This is EXACTLY what happens every mother freakin' time!

Ok, that's all I've got for today. Today was another day where the heat index was in the triple digits. I think that's part of why I have the blahs. I've been saying for decades that I have reverse SAD. Summer puts me in a funk. I HATE the heat, the sun's not so great, either. I think my aversion stems from the fact that bright sunlight usually triggers migraines for me. In a nutshell, I hate summer. I'm SO ready for fall!

Oo, wait, I just remembered one Bestest Friend sent me the other day. She knows me so well!

*When I Googled SAD to make the link, I saw that I'm NOT crazy, and that people can experience it in the summer, too! Woo hoo! I'm not as nuts as you all thought! Well, at least not in this area...

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

My brother and I bought this ridiculous headband while we were shopping for Monkey's party. The picture is blurry so you may not be able to see that the flames of the candles spell out "Happy Birthday."

The Hottie

This is what my car said last night when we came out of the restaurant at 7 pm. We had to go out for dinner because the house was just too hot. My dad's friend was able to repair the air, thank God, but it had been out so long, it took hours to cool down the house. He had to replace the blower motor. I'm just glad it wasn't something bigger, or more expensive, or something that would have taken days to fix. Now that I'm unemployed, any hit to the pocketbook hurts, but I really had no choice. It HAD to be fixed!

It occurred to me last night that the air must have gone out either Saturday night or early Sunday. I had run home to change after spending the morning setting up for the party, and the house felt warm. I just chalked it up to the fact that I had been running around like a chicken with its head cut off all morning. CSJ said the thermostat said 83 when he got home, but he just thought I had turned the thermostat up in an attempt to be frugal.

Anyhoo, it works now!!

Some Goodies

My Tastefully Simple goodies arrived yesterday!! Look at the size of that box!

The first little peek inside...

I started to unpack the box one section at a time...

It almost didn't all fit on my counter! Then I grouped it according to how it was ordered.

How's THAT for a haul, huh? And, like I said before, all I paid out-of-pocket was $40! The total retail value of ALL these goodies was $230. I think every one of you should call Jen and set up a show with her!!

Ok, Tastefully Simple commercial over. Time to go clean up the next BIG mess in this house. Oh, what's that? I didn't tell you? Yeah, seems there's a leak SOMEWHERE in the f-ing laundry room (our best guess is IN the damn wall!) so I've been dealing with a flooded laundry room for almost a week now. (That's partly because CSJ insists on doing laundry every damn day.) As I've been typing, the shop vac has been sucking up water like crazy. In the meantime, the laundry piles are sky-high, so I think we just may have to head to the laundromat tonight. In the 100 degree heat. Awesome.

Monday, July 16, 2012

This just landed in my inbox. My brother is crazy. (And please don't comment about how inappropriate it is for him to say his baby has a hangover. It's a freakin' JOKE people!) This picture is too cute. But, I want to know why a certain auntie wasn't invited!!

(Hey, Jo! Recognize this restaurant? =) )

I really wanted to share the party with you yesterday, but after a LOONNNGGGG, exhausting day, I walked into a house that was hotter than it was outside! Remember, friends, we're in the middle of a freakin' killer heat wave. Yep, my flimmin' flammin' air is out. AGAIN!!!!!

So, I'll be back to share after this hell is over. I was actually able to get a hold of my dad's friend (the one who fixed it last time) and he's on his way over. I hope he can fix it today because it's supposed to hit 100 again tomorrow. It's already 88 in here.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

This was the first of her three smash cakes this weekend. Yikes! This was from Friday, her actual birthday. After a fun-filled day at the zoo, Monkey got her first smash cake. It was the first cake of any kind she's ever had. She wasn't too sure what to make of it at first, but as you can see, she figured it out pretty quickly.

Her mother had a birthday bash for her today, so there was another smash cake involved there. I hope she had a good time at her party. Tomorrow with be OUR big bash. This kid is going to be so spoiled, isn't she? Two parties for every birthday?!

Speaking of two parties, that's exactly what our evening looked like tonight. We had a wedding (one of my bestie's sister's) and then a graduation party (Stud's bestie). Both were OUTSIDE. I look like Roseanne Roseannadanna right now. :(

Friday, July 13, 2012

Suz is right, we really need to start taking some pictures of this kid. Maybe this year....

Ok, seriously, this is not even 1% of the pictures I have of her on my computer. Sheesh! You'd think she was MY baby!!

I can't wait to celebrate this weekend. Rest assured, I'll be sharing all about her birthday bash next week. And, speaking of Suz, today is also her baby's birthday! Go on over and wish Lolo a happy one.