a big bag of sneers

Free Valentines Cards for Every Kind of Luv So Tru

Ordinarily it is a fact that you “get what you pay for” − but not on the Sneer Campaign! We do love to give you quality art that is guaranteed to work, however it’s supposed to work. Usually it is a coloring page, but today you get some nice cards to print out at your leisure. The only thing it will cost you is in printer ink. Or possibly in an entire printer because they have been making it so that it is cheaper to buy a new printer than to buy an ink cartridge. Save those angry letters for the printer manufacturers! We are here to earn you some affection and, dare we say it? Truluv.

Actually we will cater to the millennials who are banding together to kill the printer industry, and allow you to just do the ol’ right-click and copy image url, or save the image, if you want, AS WELL AS an option to print out a paper card which you can then write inside of. We will even give you some possible sentiments to scrawl inside of them with your lunatic writing. This is how much we care about you and romance.

Here is the traditional entry, and accompanying card for printing purposes. I’ve been told that it is a crazy world of Valentine’s Heavy Sentiments or Valentine’s Puns out there. And sometimes a person just wants to be straightforward. This is for you. And here are some suggestions on what you can say inside the card!

I LOVE YOU.

I’ll make it worth your while.

Eh?? EHHH???

That’s it, really. Valentine for just today.

C’mon.

Speaking of puns!!! Valentine’s Day is, like so many other holidays, a haven of puns. So print out the card, or just blast the image to your target, and prepare for the instant reciprocation at this, the most obvious of all bee-love puns.

DO YOU GET IT??

“Birds and Bees” or in this case “bees and bees” GET IT?

W I N K

You belong to me.

Where da honey at?

Another pun! You can’t escape — and neither will they. Be able to. We have upped the ante by combining wordplay with an image and reference to a Strange Animal. Everyone loves a tardigrade and everyone will love you especially after you print out the card and write out a message such as one of our suggestions below!

U R Tardigrade A Beef

Be my mosspiglet/waterbear

As far as I know, you can’t be killed. I promise I won’t try.

My love for you is like a tardigrade, immortal and microscopic. Wait. No. Oh no I just imagined a huge tardigrade!

I hope you know what this is otherwise I’m going to regret some things.

If you are like so many kids today, and so many kids yesterday, and so many in the future who will rebel against the notions of romance and everything but are still a romantic at heart, try giving this card to someone who feels the same way! It will either cause a laugh and some variation of pure love, or it will backfire miserably! If it backfires, somehow it means you’ve still won probably. Don’t worry.

Insincerely, not-[your name]

Smash the System!

Whatever. Shrug.

[in real small letters] please love me

I LOVE YOU AND I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS

Maybe you are past the light-hearted stage, but aren’t yet at the stage of luv. Maybe you choose Valentine’s to be the Day you decide to announce your like of someone. Your like-like. Printing out and giving a card with a cute fluffpuppy on it is a pretty safe bet. Even if the liking turns out to not be mutual, they will still appreciate this card and not throw it in your face — they will love the image too much.

It’s cool if you don’t like me back! I swear!

FLUFFPUPPY!

Maybe some day I can love you?

Please please please never leave me. I won’t live without you! I will DIE.