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Volume 11 Chapter 2 is a mine of hilarity (well, the first few parts anyway):

Spoiler for Bathroom(s) scenes:

THE RIGHT SIDE IS THE BATHROOM, THE LEFT SIDE IS ALSO ANOTHER BATHROOOOOOM!?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! THIS IS JUST HELL WAITING FOR ME ON BOTH SIDES!!!! ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!!!! WHY ARE THERE TWO BATHROOMS IN THIS HOUSE!?!?!?

IS IT ANOTHER MAGICAL TERM THATS NOT SCIENTIFIC!?!? I HAD ENOUGH!!!!!

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I FEEL THAT TODAYS INDEX IS TWICE AS TERRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFYY YYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

Kamijo Touma has encountered the intimacy of the teeth twice already in a foreign land. Lets just hope that Orsola doesnt think that this is a weird Japanese traditional culture.

Spoiler for Amakusa fearing Touma:

Thats the guy that the substitute Supreme Pontiff is keeping an eye on but how strong is he? 

The reason why youre thinking like this is because you werent involved in the battle for Orsola 

 He was the one who went unarmed and declared war on the famous 250 battle nuns of the Roman Catholics, you know 

And then theres the latest news from the substitute Supreme Pontiff. Its said that this guy sent the female Supreme Pontiff-sama flying together with that Seven Heavens Seven Swords (Shichiten Shichitou) with just a single punch 

The Amakusa stop talking.

The first teenager wordlessly glances at Kamijo, and then says,

 Monster?

Oi, whats with you guys making those kind of distorted remarks just by looking at a guys face?

Kamijo lips twitch as he asks. Seeing this expression, the Amakusa turn blue with shock and frantically escape into the room.

and at the end of summer, he saw the Supreme Pontiffs naked body, took a strike from Seven Heavens Seven Swords and didnt even need a cast!, WHAT!? Shes a God-recognised Saint! How did he train his body to that extent?!

“WHY DO YOU LOOK SO HAPPY, INDEX!? WE BOTH SUNK TOGETHER WITH THE SHIP DOWN INTO THE VENETIAN COAST!! OI, YOU’RE HAPPY THAT YOU DIDN’T GET ABANDONED THIS TIME, ARE YOU—”

“!!”

Before Kamijou can finish speaking, Index suddenly trips and falls onto the corridor.

“Since…since when am I happy!!?”

“I got it, you’re alright, right!? Really, you actually made them worried because of something like this, Index. Aren’t you giving Miss Nurse even more trouble? AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

Just as Kamijou’s trying to accost the blond nurse, Index chomps on him.

“Touma’s still Touma even if he’s on a stretcher, right!?”

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN!!”

The nun who leaped on the stretcher and executed an act of violence is pulled away. Maybe the nurse onee-chan doesn’t understand what they’re saying as she tilts her head to show that she doesn’t understand.

“Yes, what? To…Touma, the doctor told you to pick up the phone.”

Hearing Index say this, Kamijou turns to look at the doctor, wondering why the doctor has a wireless phone in his hand. Is it really alright to use a phone in a hospital? Kamijou thinks, but on further pondering, there should be phones in the hospital as well.

Anyway, he picks up the phone.

The phone seems to be linked, as on picking it up, Kamijou hears a familiar voice.

“Do you have to end up like this even when you’re on a holiday trip?”

It’s the frog-faced doctor.

Kamijou was always taken care of by this doctor in Academy City. To Kamijou, who often gets injured and admitted into the hospital, he feels that this frog-faced doctor is really skilled with his hands.

“Eh, what’s with this suddenly? Ha, don’t tell me you can even diagnose a patient through the phone.”

“If I could, the hospital should start providing handphone service, right? However, because I can’t do that, I’m requesting you to do one thing. You are to immediately come back to Academy City.”

……………………………………………………………WHAT?

“I’m not joking. Even if that facility is an ally of Academy City, it’s not good to let other hospitals check or adjust an esper’s body, right?”

“That’s…true. NO, HOWEVER…I MEAN! I CAN’T TAKE THE PLANE IN THIS CONDITION; IT TAKES ABOUT 10 HOURS FOR A PLANE FLIGHT!? BEFORE THAT, I’M COVERED WITH WOUNDS, YOU KNOW!?”

“Ah, don’t worry about that. There should be a supersonic jet parked at the Marco Polo Airport. That can go past 7,000km per hour, so you should reach Japan in an hour, no?”

“A LARGE JET!? ISN’T THAT THE FANTASY NORTH AMERICAN X-15 RESEARCH PLANE!? CAN I REALLY RIDE ON THIS PLANE THAT’S FASTER THAN A BULLET WHEN I DON’T HAVE ANY TRAINING!?”

“No problem, no problem. I rode on it before. The most it feels is like there’s no gravity.”

“THAT THING ONLY NEEDS AN HOUR!? I GUESS ALL THE CONTENTS IN MY STOMACH WILL GO THE WRONG WAY!!”

“No problem, no problem. I rode on it before. Within the first ten minutes, you don’t even have time to think about that.”

WHO SAYS THERE’S NO PROBLEM!! Kamijou hugs his head with full force.

“WAIT A SECOND! I…I BASICALLY HAVEN’T EVEN BEEN IN ITALY FOR ONE DAY? AND I DRANK THE WATER OF THE ADRIATIC SEA TWICE…NO, INCLUDING THE ESCAPE, THAT’S THREE TIMES. I DIDN’T GET INTO THE IMPORTANT VENEZIA ONCE!!”

“Oh my, aren’t you happy with this kind of experience. Anyway, I have one thing to say…I know this is unreasonable, but just give up and come back.”

YOUR TONE IS SO COLD AND UNREASONABLE!! Kamijou again hugs his head.

At this moment, the voice on the other side of the phone continues,

“Oh yes, that cute girl that’s been coming to the hospital to visit knew I was about to call you, so she said that she has some important words for me to pass to you.”

The doctor and nurses force down Kamijou Touma, who’s starting to act violent on the stretcher. They seem to mistake this as some emergency situation.

Kamijou Touma and Misaka Mikoto once bet during Daihaseisai, and Kamijou, who lost the punishment game, has to listen to whatever Mikoto says. If she knows that he forgot about this and went on a tour to Italy…

“WHAT’S WAITING FOR ME IS HELL!! NOW I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK!! ARGHH…WAAIITT!! DON’T USE THAT SPECIALISED TOOL TO HOLD ME DOWN!!”

The stretcher is being carried away.

The person on the other side of the phone says to the sighing Kamijou,

Kamijou casually converses with them, but Lucia and Angelene are both blushing as they silently turn their heads aside. Eh? Kamijou can’t help but make a stiff face when he doesn’t get a reply.

Orsola smiles as she says to the Roman Catholic nuns,

“Really, there’s no need to be shy about it.”

“No…we mustn’t say these kind of words so easily!!”

Gritting her teeth as she says this, Angelene swings her large sleeves as she looks like she’s about to cry. Lucia doesn’t shout around or cry, but she’s closing her eyes, muttering as she draws a Cross. Maybe it’s to help her stabilise her emotions.

“??????”

Unable to understand what’s going on, Kamijou frowns.

“Hahaha.”

Seeing this, Tatemiya laughs.

“About this…because it was dark, I’m not so sure what happened over there.”

“…These words aren’t exactly making me comfortable, you know.”

“It’s that. Lucia and Angelene’s nun robes are different from Orsola. You see, their sleeves and skirts are yellow. That’s a restraining equipment that the Roman Catholics prepared. With that, they have a similar effect of ‘being unable to escape a certain distance from a certain point’.”

“What does that mean?”

“In, other, words, you’re a slow guy. If you don’t destroy it, those two will collapse due to the restraining effects. This would be troublesome. Thus…I don’t know how to say this, but you seemed to have accidentally used your right hand when you were unconscious.”

WHAT? Kamijou widens his eyes.

“In simpler terms, those nun robes—”

Tatemiya twist his lips and gives a smirk, and then points at Lucia’s face. To the tall nun who reveals a surprised look, the substitute Supreme Pontiff says sternly,

“Dropped off cleanly.”

With those short-sleeved arms of hers, Lucia blushes as she hugs Angelene, and looks away. She’s like a mother protecting her child, using her body as a shield.

Looking closely, their nun robes are like Index’s; there are safety pins all over the place. The gold rings on their heads are also gone.

Thinking about what might had happened, Kamijou suddenly reveals a surprised look.

“WAIT… WHEN I WAS UNCONSCIOUS, SOMETHING WONDERFUL… NO, SOMETHING RIDICULOUS HAPPENED!? BESIDES, HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS INDEX WHO’S ANGRY UPON THINKING ABOUT THAT? I DIDN’T SEE ANYTHING AND THIS WAS ALL CAUSED BY YOU!! IT’S UNREASONABLE TO BE ANGRY OVER THIS!”

Though Kamijou is refuting this, he’s in a begging position. Regarding Kamijou, who’s shouting about, Index doesn’t say anything, but her slightly trembling lips reveal white teeth, making it look even scarier. Killing intent envelops her heart, and even the battle-experienced Amakusa members are frantically yelling and escaping. The entire ship’s in a mess.

On the other hand, Angelene, who got away from Lucia’s chest, suddenly remembers something.

“Oh…oh yes. Now’s not the time to say this… Sister Agnese’s still…! Erm…everyone, thank you for saving us, please let us explain the situation…!”

But with that whispering voice of hers, she’s completely unable to reach out to Kamijou, who’s busy trying to explain himself, and the people surrounding them.

“Touma’s like this all the time!”

“Aren’t you like that as well, Index? Anyone would get angry and start lecturing, but what’s with that bite that can bite through cuttlefish floss?”

“That, about that…”

Seeing the crowd that continues to ignore her, a panicking Angelene frantically waves her hands. The entire scene is like an out-of-control class.

“Erm…about that, we still have something to do. If possible, I want to talk about Sister Agnese’s situation…wa—”

“THAT IS WEIRD! IF THERE’S SUCH A POWERFUL BITE ATTACK, CAN’T YOU USE THAT TO DEFEND YOURSELF AGAINST OTHER MAGICIANS!? 103,000 MAGICAL BOOKS? THIS IS EASIER TO POSE A THREAT!”

“Touma, Touma. Do you think that you can win by trying to open my eyes?”

In a rare moment, Kamijou turns around, trying to avoid Index, who leaps over. The white nun leaps onto his back, and both of them roll on the floor. “WAAAAAAHHHH!!” The double-eyelid girl gets caught in it, and falls onto the deck. The wet white handkerchiefs that she was holding onto scatter all over the place, and the surrounding Amakusa members are all shouting,

“ITSUWA, NOW’S THE CHANCE! GO!”

“USE THIS CHANCE TO KISS HIM ON THE EARLOBE!”

“AT LEAST GET ONTO HIS CHEST!”

“SO NOISY, AT LEAST YOU SHOULD GET RID OF YOUR STRONGEST RIVAL INDEX FIRST! ITSUWA, IF YOU’RE A WOMAN, FLING HER AWAY!!!”

Seeing this scene, Tatemiya laughs while Orsola places a hand on her face and says “Okay, okay”. Lucia, however, can’t stand this as she sighs.

In other words, nobody’s listening to Angelene.

“That’s, that is…!!”

Angelene’s getting even more panicky.

Just as her franticness is at her limit, her eyes suddenly widen.

Deciding on this, Angelene grabs onto Lucia’s skirt with both hands—

“Look…look here! Everyone, notice this!!”

Whop, Lucia’s nun skirt is pulled up.

At this moment.

All the conversations ceased.

At first, Lucia was shocked by this sudden silence that would have killed the ears and frowns of all the people staring at her. The emotion is high, as if the Pope was waving his hand from outside the palace. Just as she’s incredulous about this silence, she feels a chill around her legs. Just as she looks down in surprise—

“!?”

2 seconds later, she blushes as if she just exploded, and quickly uses her hands to slap down the skirt that’s in the air.

Lucia silently turns towards the petite nun beside her.

“…Sis…Sister Angelene?”

“No, it’s not that! Our group often gave the same feeling! So, that…I carelessly did it on habit!!”

Most likely, Angelene’s trying to explain her actions. Tatemiya and Lucia, together with the Amakusa teenagers, start to blush and look away. As for Kamijou, who’s frozen at the spot, he’s bitten on the back of the head by Index.

Location: All ghillied up spying on someone ~2,000 yards away using telescope sights.

Age: 26

Really, those are too funny not to include.

And one of the reasons I love this series.

__________________

I like to run portable on my dude, so I ran while running runs in my portably portable, dude-like dude.Kazuma Kamachi FCSince we are all so trigger happy about certain behaviors that we do when talking about his works.

“I'm sorry, from here on now, the path is only a 'one way road!' You can't advance, just hide behind your tail and cry your way home!”

Quote:

“With this pitiful state of mine, maybe I might not have the right to be called the strongest in Academy City. However, I've already made up my mind. I’ll always be the strongest in front of that brat, damn it!!”

Even in a death match between the Number One and Number Two Level 5s, even on a battlefield where a slight mistake could get you killed, Accelerator have protected those normal people who he have never met.

“Don’t joke around! Are you saying everything was in your grasp from the beginning?!”

Accelerator showed impatience, as if saying ‘of course’, and taunts Kakine for his incompetence that he could not do the same.

“Are you angry, you lowlife?”

Towards Kakine who’s shocked, Accelerator impatiently said:

“Now this is what should be called a Villain.”

If after doing this much one is still called a Villain, then just what does a Hero in Accelerator’s mind have to do?!

Just so you know Kakine, to be a hero, once has to face Accelerator, and punch him out to save 10,000 people. Understand?

Aleister: “To be honest, your Japanese sounds really weird. Or are you treating me as an idiot by saying this? Which one is it?”

Laura stopped what she was doing.

The comb that’s gliding through her hair slightly trembles.

Laura: “You……you……do you know what you’re talking about!? There’s no need to talk about etiquette with a man who doesn’t believe in God, just some simple words is enough for you!”

Aleister: “I see……if you prefer to use such a special accent, it’s alright. What I’m trying to say is that if you’re really frustrated about this, I can send a Japanese teacher to teach you the language. I am the one who ruled over knowledge after all!”

Laura: “Uu! I’m not bothered by it! Why would I bother about a language used by a small country in the Far East?”

Aleister: “To be honest, your Japanese sounds really weird. Or are you treating me as an idiot by saying this? Which one is it?”

Laura stopped what she was doing.

The comb that’s gliding through her hair slightly trembles.

Laura: “You……you……do you know what you’re talking about!? There’s no need to talk about etiquette with a man who doesn’t believe in God, just some simple words is enough for you!”

Aleister: “I see……if you prefer to use such a special accent, it’s alright. What I’m trying to say is that if you’re really frustrated about this, I can send a Japanese teacher to teach you the language. I am the one who ruled over knowledge after all!”

Laura: “Uu! I’m not bothered by it! Why would I bother about a language used by a small country in the Far East?”