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• Ned has a day off today, so he didn’t go to uni. In fact, he denies having done anything, so he won’t be writing anything here today. He asks that you come back again tomorrow. Thank you for your time.

Irish Jokes

• Tim and Michelle left Ned with these two Irish jokes, both of which he found highly amusing:An American, Australian and Irishman are in a barn in wartime Germany, when they hear some Germans coming. They all jump into some sacks that are nearby, and the Germans enter. They go up to the first sack with the American in it, and kick it. The American goes “oink, oink”, and the Germans go “Och, dis is schwine”. They then kick the second sack containing the Australian, and he goes “baa, baa”, so they go “Och, dis is only scheep” and continue onto the third sack – the one with the Irishman inside. They give it a good kick, and the Irishman says “Potatoes”.There was an American, an Australian, and an Irishman on a TV game show. There is only one question remaining. It is the American’s turn. The show host says, “Fill in the missing word and spell it – Old McDonald Had a...” The American says, “That’s easy, it’s ‘ranch’! r, a, en, c, aitch!” The crowd groans. The games show host moves on to the Australian, and asks him the same question – the Australian replies “it’s ‘station’, ess, tee, a, tee, i, o, en”. The crowd groans again. The game show host moves on to the Irishman, and asks him the same question – “Complete this sentence and spell the word, Old McDonald had a ...” The Irishman becomes all excited and yells “Farm! Old McDonald had a Farm! The word is farm! e, i, e, i, o!”

Email

• Ned’s email has died. No one can send him email. It bounces with retarded error messages. He isn’t impressed.