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Monday, August 5, 2013

When daddy's in charge...

(Most of this post was written a couple of weekends ago.)

Well, Lolly has left me.

For the weekend. Everyone remain calm.

Every now and again Lolly does something that I think is very wise: she takes some time off from her job as The Lady We Go To When We Need Anything. She books a local hotel for not one, but two nights, and then she does this weird, totally unusual thing where she doesn't assist a single person go pee or poo, clean a mess, or fix anything to eat for over 48 hours. Crazy, I know.

So what I'm saying is that she gets in a car and drives away from her family, then she sits in a chair and eats chocolate and watches movies or WHATEVER SHE WANTS, and then she curls up in a huge, comfy bed and goes to sleep, then sleeps in the next day with no child- or husband- contact, and then spends a day pampering herself, and then when she gets tired that night, she goes to sleep again, and sleeps in the next day as long as she wants, and then she spends a second day pampering herself, meditating, and having thoughts like "Wow, so this is what it's like to not have my children barge in on me 17 times while I go pee. I remember this! It's been almost a decade, but I do remember this!" And then, after the kids are in bed the second day, she sneaks back home, and goes to sleep in her own bed refreshed and ready to tackle motherhood again.

I totally know how that feels. I get to take a break like that from my job every single weekend!

Anyway, what this means is that this weekend is "Daddy Weekend." When it's Daddy Weekend, things end up going different than usual.

Here is some photographic evidence of some of the classic moments of Daddy Weekend:

Popsicles. Before lunch.

Lunch. Because peanut butter on a spoon is delicious. And spreading it on bread is way too much effort.

Daddy's "popsicle."

We had to clean out the layer of green film on the bottom of the pool. So we put a bunch of Dawn in there and then the girls did some "ice-skating." (Let's not tell Lolly that at one point Tessa was putting the suds in her mouth...)

Daddy swam too. It was fun. Until the girls kicked me out because I was "too big." Whatever THAT means...

Sometimes Daddy's forget to have the girls wipe their feet off before they come in and they track dirt everywhere.

Ice cream cones with friends!

We closed the weekend out by setting up a picnic in the living room, getting pizza, and watching a movie way past bedtime. Because that's what Daddy's do when they're in charge.

I started this post during said weekend, but now it's been a couple of weeks so I have some insider information to share. All in all it was a great weekend for me and the girls. But tragically not for Lolly. Here are the thinks that happened to Lolly when she was on her trip "getting away."

1. Her hotel, where she was trying to get extra sleep, was next to train tracks. And the trains went by many, many times during the night honking their horns.

2. Her hotel room, where she was trying to get extra sleep, was next to the supplies closet which was frequented all night long both nights, and it had a massive very loud door that echoed through the hallway.

3. Her morning of alone time and study was interrupted by the maids even though she had the "do not disturb" sign up. This might seem like a paltry thing, but when you spend your life having whatever door you are behind knocked on by little tiny people needing things all the time, this was a pretty upsetting development that made her feel like she hadn't "gotten away" at all.

4. When she went to get dinner, they wouldn't take her gift card and she had to go somewhere else.

5. And finally, very worst of all, she missed me very, very much.

(#5 is a white lie I tell myself to build my own self esteem.)

No, but really, she says she ended up having a good time. Next time, though, she'll definitely be getting a hotel away from the train tracks.

And as for me, I can't wait for the chance to be with those girls and feed them peanut butter on spoons and play out in the pool with them all weekend. Being a single parent is so easy!*

21 comments:

That's awesome! My mom does something like this, except she takes my dad and they run away to the beach together. My siblings and I go from 19 to 7, so it's a little easier now than it would have been when we were your kids age. Anyway, the point of my comment was to say good for her for taking time for herself. :)

Um PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEAAAAASE Tell Lolly to hit me up next time she needs a hotel! I work for Marriott and can get her a sweet discount! It would be the least I could do, since, of course, we are all best friends now. ;)

Same for you guys, if you ever want to stay at a Marriott DON'T unless you use my discount!! ;)

Also, I hope my husband lets me have a "Mommy-away" weekend someday when we have kids! Heck, I'd take a "wife-away" weekend now!! ;)

Mommies do all of that too. At least this one does. Peanut butter on a spoon? Heck yeah. Private ice cream (or chocolate)? Check. We have that same pool, got slime -- I wasn't smart enough for Dawn skating, instead I held the pool up on its side and my son squirted it off with the high-power hose attachment. And "accidentally" got me a few times. :D

And I have managed a mommy getaway a couple of times, but then my oldest went on a mission, and the daddy in this house can't do it.

Mommacations would've made a HUGE difference in my young mothering life with 2 year twins who didn't sleep worth beans and a newborn :-). Now I have 4 - youngest is 8 - and still trying to catch up on brain regeneration. Life was crazy then, still crazy now, but I've learned so much. Mostly that life after diapers is TOO DIE FOR. :-).

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way, Debbie. When our son was little my husband hated it when people would ask him if he was babysitting. His answer was always, "No, I'm not babysitting. I'm spending time with my son."

Weeder, I'm not sure if this is an awkward thing to say on a Mormon gay man's blog, but your hetero man friend is one super HAWT daddy. My goodness! Also, you really need to try Biscoff Butter on a spoon. If you're gonna go there, you should really just go all the way. I'm so relieved my jar is gone so that it's no longer a temptation to me. It's just that kind of flawed thinking that gets chubby girls in trouble. We're all: I need to finish this so it's no longer a temptation to me. I've spent a week dipping into it during those moments when I think nobody is looking. (Except for God if you believe that way.) During one particularly "real" day, I sat on the sofa and finished the whole thing off while my daughter watched Good Luck Charlie episodes on Netflix. You might say I reached a low point that day, Weeder. Anyhoo... just thought I'd mention it. Hawt hetero friend. Biscoff Butter.

My sisters and I used to get away once a year for "girls weekend". We would go a few hours away, get a motel suite (with kitchen, room for 6 to sleep, and most importantly TWO bathrooms), and spend time pigging out, playing games, shopping, or just laying around being lazy for 3 days and 2 nights. Then everyone got "poor", and we haven't done it for at least 3 years. I think it is great that Lolly can get away, but I would feel lonely if I did it alone.

Are you new here?

Oh hi.

I am Josh Weed.

I am a gay, Mormon man who is married to a woman. I have four daughters, one of whom is not featured in the photo on the header of this blog because she wasn't born yet. When she's old enough to realize this she's gonna be pissed, but as of now she can't talk yet, so I'm rolling with it.

I am a Marriage and Family Therapist who is licensed through AAMFT (the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists), a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist trained through IITAP (the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals), and was named the Best Father Ever from TAOITMKTSTOITATST (The Association of I Told My Kids To Say That Or I'd Take Away Their Screen Time).

This website is my personal blog. I write serious posts and humorous/satirical posts. You'll probably very easily tell the difference, but if you're ever wondering, just ask. Sometimes as I write this blog, I might talk about therapy concepts. I might mention things that I've learned in my grad studies. I might share thoughts I'm having around things I'm reading, or ideas I hope will be helpful. When that happens, please know that I am offering my thoughts as a fellow human writing on his personal blog, and not as your personal therapist, or even as a professional giving professional advice. Grain of salt, is what I'm saying. Always consult (and pay for!) a professional's opinion when making therapeutic changes in your own life.

So yeah. That's how things go around here. Some days you'll get a post on a serious topic I happen to be thinking about. Other days you'll get a post about me crapping my pants on a morning run.

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...The weed stood in the severed heart."What are you doing there?" I asked.It lifted its head all dripping wet(with my own thoughts?)and answered then: "I grow," it said,"but to divide your heart again."