Tag Archives: Gilbert Arenas

Patience is a virtue or so I have been told. This however has finally bubbled over for me and in the name of Normalcy I must forge ahead. Here at Normal Headquarters a decision has been made to finally discuss the out-of-sorts mole that continues to grow just beyond our reach. It is hideous from what we can tell…out of place…and needs to be addressed. We are not sure whether the mole is of any great consequence, but enough is enough!!

Ben Roethlisberger, of the famed Pittsburgh Steelers, has been accused of sexual misconduct for the second time in the last 12 months. The first woman accused Roethlisberger of raping her at a casino near Lake Tahoe. The most recent accusation states that Big Ben, as he is known to millions of fans, sexually assaulted a college-aged female in a local bar. To be fair it should be noted that Roethlisberger has not been charged or convicted of either accusation.

It is, however, fair at this point to question the motives of all involved parties. Why is a filthy rich athlete hanging out with college girls and at college bars? He just recently signed a contract in excess of $100 million dollars. Has Roethlisberger not heard of Michael Vick or Gilbert Arenas? Vick has already lost millions and Arenas is poised to do the same because of his love of comedy and guns. There is a significant issue here with Roethlisberger that stinks of disrespect for women, his family, and his employer.

Can't You ACT like a Champion?

Which brings me to another curve in the road…the media and their handling of this story. I will be the first to call a timeout when I think erroneous claims are disseminated by the media…with that said, though, I have to wonder if Big Ben is receiving preferential treatment.

I know some of you have thought about it. I didn’t want to in the beginning, but I am finding I can’t shake my wonderment. Is Ben Roethlisberger given the benefit of the doubt because he is White?

Dear NFL...Don't Be STUPID!

I cannot imagine an African-American athlete dealing with a second sexual assault charge in less then a year being treated with such kid gloves. Maybe we have matured and it really isn’t about race. As a White male I hope that we have evolved and that we treat Roethlisberger the same as we would anyone else accused of similar acts. I would like to think that I live outside the city limits of Delusion-ville, but the lack of national conversation tells me that we haven’t changed for the better.

It will be might interesting to see how the NFL responds to the latest detour Ben has taken us all on. I am not one to support making an example out of someone for the sake future dividends, but I am leaning that way right now. Maybe that is because Roethlisberger has failed to grant an interview to the police or maybe I am just burned out from repeated stories of fame and the misuse of power.

Aside from an outsiders perspective…the NFL and the Steelers need to evaluate what is important to them…the almighty dollar and championships or their image and fan base. I would imagine the spinsters at the league offices are working overtime to figure out their next steps. Yes men represent the majority fan base, but there are millions of female fans that are truly rabid for their teams as well. Sending a message of deference to sexual misconduct won’t enhance gate numbers on Sundays.

Men, not just athletes, should be role models. For those of you not incensed by Roethlisberger’s lapse in judgment–raise your standards and support responsible behavior.

As we explore what Normal Males look, feel, sound, and ultimately act like it becomes increasingly clear that the majority of our societal friction begins with our general lack of humility. What does it mean to have humility and when are we encouraged to display healthy doses of it? Do we want President Obama to demonstrate humility? Do we want our Husbands and Fathers to demonstrate humility? What about those men we encounter out in the public sector?

Does humility imply weakness? Are there benefits to humility? Does humility even belong in our lives? All of these questions and more allow us all to explore the nature of manliness and where and when we would like to see humility displayed.

Many of the men in the public eye are scrutinized for showing too little or too much humility. Former President Bush was hard pressed to display humility and for some that felt safe…for others stubbornness and inflexible. President Obama discusses humility and tact often and the Right calls it “waffling.”

Do we want Normal Males to boast about their accomplishments and level of importance in our lives? I think there is a time and place and conveying a built-in flexibility shows young boys and men that life is not always about inflating ones’ posture to win the crowd.

I recently had a meeting with a professional who sought to sell his services to me. What was so refreshing about this man was his humility and openness to conversation and thought. No boasting. No posturing. Flexible…understanding…which sent me a message that he cared about my business and pleasure through the process.

His presence was not at the expense of others and demonstrated to me that my opinions mattered. This is the kind of display that should be acknowledged and awarded…and you know what? He will win my business because of his awareness of others and care to “not” be like a typical, bullheaded and inflexible stuffed-shirt man.

Now of course I am going to receive emails that espouse disdain for my “watered-down” version of men behaving Normally. I welcome the conversation and dialogue. Humility fends off arrogance and “above-the-law” mentalities which only further plant men as “know-it-all’s” who think their ideas and presence are above all others. If anyone can tell me that our gender will advance with boastful and arrogant men I will turn around and give you a litany of fallen “heroes” from the American Landscape: Tiger Woods, Mark Mcgwire, Gilbert Arenas, Michael Vick, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Eliot Spitzer, James Frey of Oprah fame who wrote fake memoir and bestseller, and sadly in my opinion Jay Leno for his thievery of the Tonight Show for a second go-round.

Which leads me to this…Conan O’Brien’s statement to NBC and the greater American public, though sad, was a wonderful example of humility. Mr. O’Brien’s understanding of his “problems” in the grand scheme of the world we live in was refreshing and hopefully trending towards Normal. Though he appears to be losing his dream job he can leave with his head held high. If you have taken the time to read his letter then you will see that his concerns lie not with himself and his image, but rather with those professionals and their families that moved across the country to support his dream gig. Here’s to you “funny-man” for giving the rest of Normal Males a glimpse of humility we can all be proud of!!
Dr. Rod