NBA JAM ‘18-’19: A Hypothetical Tiering

his year marks the 25th anniversary of NBA JAM’s arcade release. I’m a massive NBA 2K supporter and would never deny my fondness for NBA Street, but there will always be a special place in my hippocampus for this ridiculously over the moon brand of 2-on-2 basketball. There hasn’t been a release in over 7 years, but word on the street is that a remake is in the works. In an attempt to soothe my raging enthusiasm, I went and ranked my hypothetical roster projections for this upcoming season. Hope I don’t jinx it. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: There is no science to these rankings. Talent is important, but the true metric is fun.

Tier 8: “REJECTED!”Zero to little interest.

In a game called NBA JAM, it’s never great when your best players don’t dunk! There’s not enough juice for me to want to give them a run, but maybe Jackson Jr. can give them a little somethin’ somethin’?

Tier 6: “FROM DOWNTOWN!”Genuine excitement, but not to be taken seriously.

As a die hard Knick fan, I’m happy to see the Unicorn flourishing. He’s got all the tools in his new unbreakable body. Both Knox and THJ are capable of providing enough complimentary scoring to succeed.

This is the greatest NBA JAM team of all time. Forget about Durant and Curry both catching fire. Picture Draymond in a world where nut punching is legal! There’s just no denying it: this team is a cheat code. But, cheating is cheap and that’s no fun.

Tier 1: “BOOMSHAKALAKA!”Big head mode.

The LJ/Zo/Mugsy Hornies were the most fun team to play with growing up. Philly’s titular trio brings comparable talent and excitement. But, imagine if Fultz’ yips magically disappear. What if Joel’s injury concerns go away? Ben’s lack of outside shooting won’t matter as much in a game where you can takeoff from the arch.

This team embodies everything that makes NBA JAM so sensational. We want to see these players push defy the boundaries of human capability. Nerf the limitations. Nerf the rules. To a lot of fans these guys are heroes. In this game, they’re super. ♦