Today in Star Wars reports: J.J. Abrams says the script is done, then lets out some steam

J.J. Abrams foolishly made the choice to appear in public over the weekend, popping up at NBC’s TCA presentation to promote his new show Believe—a presentation where many of the reporters believed they’d ask him about Star Wars instead, thanks. As Abrams has become as much a master of deflecting questions as the Jedi everyone is hoping he doesn’t screw up, once again little was said, although he did say that the script for Episode VII is done. “We’re working really hard and we’ve got our script and we’re in deep prep. Full steam ahead,” Abrams said, thus implicitly confirming that all the spaceships in Star Wars will now be steam-powered, so it’s time to begin crafting sternly worded blog posts.

In addition to acknowledging that he has a “movie length” script, and suggesting with his “full steam ahead” comment that Han Solo will probably wear those stupid steampunk goggles and Star Wars will be just like Wild Wild West now, Abrams also confirmed reports that he’d met with Jesse Plemons about a role. “He is one of the actors that we’ve talked to,” Abrams admitted, adding that it was strange for him to have read about his meetings with Plemons and others before they actually happened—if they even happened.

“It’s a lot of noise,” Abrams said of all the “crazy things that get thrown out that people then often write commentaries about how happy or how disappointed they are about something that’s completely false.” He also reiterated that he would be shooting on film, not in IMAX—but really, what does it matter now that we know that everything in Star Wars is going to run on steam? How disappointing is that? Aaaarghhhh, he’s ruining it.