Saturday, March 25, 2017

Leaked! Secret letter from Narendra Modi to Rahul Gandhi after the recent elections

A secret letter written by PM Narendra Modi to Congress VP
Rahul Gandhi soon after the recent five state elections has been leaked online. Here is the full text of the letter:

13th
March 2017

Dear
Rahul ji,

The
elections are over, and they have gone largely as per plan. Your efforts were
invaluable in Uttar Pradesh. Akhilesh beta
never realized that "Hand" is used to stop a "Bicycle", not to accelerate it
! But he is still young, will learn over time. In fact your efforts in U.P. were so effective
that there was also a strong rub-off on neighboring Uttarakhand. A big thank you
for this! We are also very happy with what happened in Manipur, where we were a
big Zero just five years ago! There was a slight problem in Goa, but I admit it
was all our own fault. Parrikar ji was not there, and our people were busy fighting
amongst themselves. However we have fixed that problem now, so don’t worry. Meanwhile,
you are free to imagine that it is the Congress who won the mandate in Goa and
Manipur. Victory - after all - is just a state of mind.

We
are however not at all happy with what happened in Punjab. This is a serious
matter. You should have campaigned more vigorously in Punjab instead of leaving
everything to Amarinder Singh ji. It seems you were focused only on Uttar
Pradesh. This is sheer negligence. Because of this, deadlines for Project “Congress-mukt
Bharat” will now have to be pushed forward to 2022. But it is okay this one
last time, we are letting you off with just a warning.

You
are now free to resume your foreign holiday. This is a good time to visit
Bangkok. It always is! You can plan for a visit to Europe too, but don’t, even
by mistake, go to the U.S.! I hope you remember what happened in 2001? Luckily
Atalji was able to help you that time, but this time we may not be able to do
anything. Trump Uncle is very strict. He may suspect you are there to sell
kitchen utensils, Made in Jaunpur, of course. So please take care.