Tragic Allem puts spotlight on bullying problem

Arjun Ramachandran

The Federation's president, Bob Lipscombe, called for shared responsibility from teachers, parents, the Education Department, police and the community to protect children from cyber bulling - a practice becoming more prevalent and dangerous.

His comments came after harrowing details of the suicide of 17-year-old Allem Halkic, who jumped to his death from Melbourne's West Gate Bridge in February, were aired on ABC last night.

Allem's parents wept as they recalled the moment they discovered their son had left his bedroom in the middle of the night and "walked out" of their lives.

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Just hours earlier, they had heard him take a bag of chips and a can of drink for his regular after-dinner snack, and later laughing in his room as he used the computer.

"The alarm went off the next morning at 6.30 to go to work like a normal morning and woke up, and saw his door was open and he was gone, he was gone," Allem's mother, Dina Halkic, told the Four Corners program.

"There was a note left on his bed and it had, `Dear mum and dad, I'm sorry it had to end this way, I'm a coward, I'm going to hurt the people I love so much, you're the best parents a kid could ask for, I love you both'.

"And he had `Westgate', `Westgate 2.30am 5th of February' and he signed it."

Relentless bullying and threats from a former friend lead up to Allem's death, the program said.

A former friend, Shane Gerada, sent the threats via mobile phone and messages on social networking sites.

Mr Gerada admitted what he did was classified as bullying, but insisted Allem "knew I would never touch him".

He showed the program he had `RIP Allem Halkic, 08/09/91 to 05/02/09' tattooed on his back.

Four Corners said police were investigating Allem's final movements. Victorian Police said this "investigation" referred to the report it was preparing for the coroner on Allem's death.

Asked whether police were making specific enquiries about bullying and threats against Allem, a spokeswoman said she could not go into details about specifics of the investigation.

"But those are the types of things the investigators will canvass and look at and get statements on," she said.

Regrettably, the story of Allem Halkic hits close to home for a many parents whose children have experienced bullying, said Parents and Citizens Association of NSW's Sharon-Roni Briggs.

"That was devastating, obviously, for anyone watching it, but it's unfortunately nothing new for a lot of parents," she said.

She said the days of the school day ending at 3pm when the school bell rang were over.

"It's talking about a very unfamiliar environment for parents now, particularly the tendency of people now being able to come into the home [via technology such as mobile phones and the internet] to contact their children."

The reach of this technology that allowed students to interact beyond the playground reinforced the need for broader attitudes about tackling bullying, Mr Lipscombe said.

"As the technology advances so do the means of bullying move with it," he said. "There's no question there are challenges, but it has to be recognised it's not exclusively a school issue, it's a community based issue."

Schools had anti-bullying procedures but Allem's case showed this wasn't enough, he said.

"I think schools respond as best they can but in the end they are teachers, they are not forensic investigators who have all the skills necessary to track down incidents of cyber bullying and deal with them," he said.

"The Department also has a role to play ... and sometimes these things become more of a police matter."

Teachers had been provided information by the Education Department stressing that incidences of cyber bullying could be a crime, he said.

Ms Briggs said schools had appropriate anti-bullying procedures in place, but said these needed to be reviewed regularly. She also supported student involvement in drafting these procedures.

Parents also had to be vigilant and alert to "all the suspense and drama that built up to that horrible and sad decision [like the one Allem] made".

She said parents had to be insistent that the "emotional firewall" could not be put up by their children, and parents made sure any "conversations can be viewed at all times."

Ali Halkic spoke about how he and his wife had failed in becoming detached from their son's cyber life.

"Allem lived three lives. He had his life as a child to a mother and father and grandparents and uncles and family and friends which were totally, totally happy with him," he said on Four Corners.

"Then he had his social structure with his friends ... and the parties and the nightlife and all these type of things.

"We had that covered as a family. But the third one and the one that finally took my son's life was this imaginary world where you interact with 10-15 people.

"If we'd be sleeping, he'd be able to log on and go in and we always assumed our child was home with us and he's safe, he's in his bedroom and he can't get hurt.

"But, we seriously failed as parents on that one, seriously."

The NSW Department of Education was asked to provide recent statistics on bullying at state schools, but has yet to respond.

But a recent study on global education standards found bullying in Australia primary schools was in the worst category in the world.

In December, the US-based Trends in International and Mathematics and Science Study survey - which surveyed Year 4 students across 40 countries - found more than a quarter of students in Australia had been bullied.

This meant Australian primary school students suffered bullying at a rate of almost 50 per cent above the international average.

At the time, Child Health Promotion Research Centre research fellow Stacey Waters - from Edith Cowan University in Perth - said 83 per cent of children who were bullied face-to-face were also "cyber bullied".

There had been no significant change in the prevalence of bullying in Australia, only the type of bullying, she said.

The Education Department was also asked to show what effect anti-bullying initiatives have had.

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