Best White Elephant Gift Ideas 2017

Here at the Bad Gift Emporium, we truly love white elephant parties. A rare opportunity for “bad gifts” to take center stage and be celebrated for being the uniquely terrible abominations that they are. A white elephant gift is like a bad movie, you don’t really want to like it, yet you can’t look away.

1. Donald Trump Coins

This realistic fake money embossed with our commander-in-chief will definitely be the most hated or loved gift at your gift elephant party. Either way, people will be surprised when they see these, momentarily wondering if they could be legit, and they will either really want to keep them or get them as far away as possible. Gifts that keep the game moving are great for white elephant exchanges and make some of the most vivid and funny memories. Of course, POTUS would probably say that his visage deserves to be immortalized on more than a mere coin, perhaps better suited to a newly conceived $100,000 bill.Buy from Amazon

2. 2017 People of Walmart Calendar

If you want to study the lowest depths of mankind, just take a trip over to your local Walmart. They have everything there, including the dregs of society. people that do not seem to appreciate the difference between being in public and being at home. It’s a human zoo that will help put all your problems into perspective. Hey, you’re not doing so bad after all. Comparatively.Buy from Amazon

3. Ostrich Hat

We can learn a lot from the ostrich, one of nature’s most curious screw-ups. When times get tough, sometimes it’s best to just dig a hole, stick your head in it, and retreat to your happy place. With this new ostrich pillow you won’t even need to dig the hole. Great for napping in places that you really shouldn’t be, the ostrich pillow sends a clear message to people around you – I’m in sleep mode and will not be having a conversation with you.Buy from Amazon

4. Breast Milk Lollipops

Everyones likes candy and everyone likes breasts, and combining the two sounds like a great idea, unless you’re talking about these breast milk lollipops. If there is anyone in your gift exchange who seems to really want these, well, at least you know not to get in the elevator with them. This horrible gift is not actually made with breast milk, they are just breast milk flavored. But still.Check It Out

5. Death Countdown Watch

This is surprisingly intended to be an inspirational gift, one that lets the user know just how precious and fleeting their time here on Earth is. But the constant reminder of the impending collapse of everything you know and love does not have that effect for most people. Plus it takes all the fun out of being lazy. How can you watch another hour of TV when you only have 44 years, 9 months, 22 days, 19 hours, 55 minutes, and 3 seconds left too live?Check It Out

6. Bacon Soda

Bacon is the undisputed king of meats, but there are some things that even the mighty king cannot do, like be a drink. Here’s a truly terrible creation that ruins two great things by forcing them together. This is not what the bacon Gods had in mind for us. Still, someone will inevitably want to try it, which will be a joy to witness and the real reason you should buy this.Buy from Amazon

7. Selfie Toaster

The world has gone mad with ego-mania, millions of ordinary people behaving like they’re celebrities. With this gift you can tell them exactly where they can put that selfie, right in their pie hole. And they’ll happily do it. After all, they have the kind of rare beauty that deserves to be ever-present, even in the food we consume. You can order a custom model or go with one of the ready-made designs including Jesus and Darth Vader.Check It Out

8. Framed Tweets

Twitter has evolved from a simple tool used to stalk celebrities to an engine that drives American culture and political policy. In the process, this unfiltered, public stream of consciousness has provided us a deep view into the inner workings of some notable minds. These gems deserve more than just a line in the infinite feed of tweets, they deserve to be framed and presented as fine art.Check It Out

9. Drum Pants

Some tech innovations radically change and enhance our lives, and others are more like Drum Pants. For the fidgeter who fancies himself a rock star, but doesn’t have the talent to warrant actually using an instrument, Drum Pants will be a gift that makes logical sense. For the rest of us, this will become a terrible annoyance. A product that most people will struggle to understand the reason for. People want to play drums with their pants? Someone took the time to develop and market this? If you find yourself asking questions like these, you know you found a truly remarkable white elephant gift.Check It Out

10. UFO Detector

UFO sightings are reportedly at an all time high, depending on where you get your news. Possibly because advanced extraterrestrial civilizations are increasingly curious about our rapid technological capabilities, or perhaps because the world is slowly slipping into madness. Just in case, it may be a good idea to prepare for the worst case scenario, so you can hide under the bed if they come for you. Aliens never look there.Buy from Amazon

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How to Conduct a White Elephant Gift Exchange

Many Christmas parties incorporate some sort of a gift exchange. For some parties, names are drawn in advance and you purchase a gift for the person whose name you drew. At other times, the “Secret Santa” approach is taken. A popular and entertaining way to do it, though, is with a white elephant gift exchange.

Also known as a Dirty Santa or Yankee Swap, a white elephant gift exchange is simple to organize and involves everyone at the party. Advise your guests in advance to bring a wrapped gift for the exchange while setting a maximum amount that can be spent on the gift (perhaps limiting the expense to $10 or less per gift).

To begin the exchange, draw numbers out of a Santa hat (or bowl) to determine the order in which the participants will select and open the gifts. There should be an equal amount of numbers as there are participants in the gift exchange.

Once the order is determined, allow the first person to select a gift from the pile and unwrap it. The second person can then follow suit, but has the option of exchanging his or her gift with the gift opened by the first participant. After the third person opens a gift, that person can exchange it with either of the gifts previously opened. This pattern continues until all the gifts have been opened, with each person being permitted to “steal” a previously opened gift. To complete the gift exchange, the first person to open a gift is given the final opportunity to exchange his or her gift with any of the gifts of the other participants.

As a variation, you can require participants to make any desired exchanges before they open a gift. If an exchange is made, the person whose gift is stolen gets to select another gift and unwrap it. That person does not, however, have the option to exchange it for another.

Another twist is to make it a “re-gift exchange.” Instead of purchasing new gifts, all the participants can be asked to find something they already have at home, wrap it, and bring it for the exchange.

White elephant gift exchanges can be a lot of fun, as long as everyone understands and accepts the rules in advance. Gag gifts can add to the experience, and guests will likely be talking about the gift exchange well after Christmas has passed.