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H Days Part 5: My Hysterectomy Journey

16 January 2016

Dear Friend,

The big man crept into my bed again last night. What if you don't get better? How long will you be sick for? What if it takes 10 weeks. It is so hard for him, his autistic brain needs the order the schedule to help him feel in control. I get that and spend a large amount of my time unconsciously preparing him; giving him dates, times a clear order and schedule, talking through what we are going to do or what will happen. Unfortunately for him (and me) getting better isn't dependent on a fixed schedule. I could only reassure him that I would get better and then I got the leaflet from the hospital and read through the information with him.

He wants me to sit and play computer games with him. I want that too...

Hubby and I snuggled up in bed with a movie but he feel asleep half way through. He's tired, it was a busy day and I feel guilty that he's having to cope with all of this. Then I begin to panic about what will I do on Tuesday when he goes back to work? Will I be able to cope, alone in only 4 days? I lock those thoughts away and sleep.

I had forgotten what day it was; I had to check my mobile. Friday I'm now 3 days post op. At last a decent night sleep. The pain is OK, I would describe it as uncomfortable. Sitting upright in a chair is still painful but it is manageable.

I have spent another day in bed. Hubby joked that the bedroom looked like an office as I laid here with the Mac Book open, ipad and iphone. Thank god for technology, it has stopped me from feeling bored or isolated from the world. In the hospital I facetimed with hubby and the boys and since being home, I have messaged friends, hung out on twitter, caught up on some great blog posts and downloaded and watched most of the first season of Game of Thrones.

I did make it downstairs at lunchtime to see the kids and eat together but after half an hour I was tired and uncomfortable so came back to bed. I didn't expect to feel so drained! But my body has definitely put on the brakes.

Hubby and I hatched a plan to get quality time as a family without me using too much energy. Picnic tea and DVD in our bed, all snuggled together, magic!