Fake Chopsticks for Wannabe Asian Food Nuts

I love Asian food. I am lazy. I don’t like these chorksticks. They make eating noodles the traditional way fool proof, though keeping the wasabi out of your eye might still be a problem. There have been cheaters chopsticks before, sure, but we’ve never seen any that look this boss. See, the idea is apparently if the lame fake chopsticks you’re using look really cool, nobody will call you out on not being authentic or too lame to learn how to eat with sticks. Still, they’re not the real deal.

We fully expect these things to show up in Tommy Chong’s and other trendy-but-overpriced fusion places across America, as most consumers here are more concerned with getting food into their bellies than they are in how they do it. Ever been to an all you can eat Chinese buffet? Yah, you’ve gotta ask for chopsticks instead of a fork. Lame.