“FAST SONGS ABOUT FUCKING”

In the spirit of what can only be called a really over-played joke, here’s five loud-fast songs about fucking, all of them ninety seconds or less. Listener discretion advised (I am really mature):

1. Kamikaze Sex Pilots – Alien Sex Fiend

Straight out of Tacoma, Washington, Kamikaze Sex Pilots are probably one of the only ska-punk bands that have ever existed in the northwest. Really unexpectedly good bass breakdowns. Amazingly nice guys. They played in Olympia Wa a few times, if you missed them you probably can never say that you’ve lived a full life.

Pretty damn clear. By the way if you remotely like this song and you don’t already know this; Jeff Rosenstock, the front man for ASOB is also the front man of a (in my opinion) much cooler project known only as Bomb the Music Industry. Living up to their name, you can download all of their music for free off of their website here.

Pretty sure that ever since American Hardcore came out, everybody and their mom (esp. if your mom was a punk in the 80s, because it’s been that long) knows who Bad Brains are. If you don’t, consider this an important introduction. If you do and you’ve heard this song before, enjoy a slightly different recording of it! Also if you feel like it torrent American Hardcore, keep in mind its owned by Sony Pictures.

Yep. Fuck you I like NoFX, I’m sorry. Anyway they’re coming to The King Cat in Seattle on January 24th, I’ll be there. I’d also go to the one at the Roseland in Portland, but not legally allowed to leave the state yet, so go in my honor. More information about NoFX tour here.

Yep.

So there ya go. Some really high-brow stuff here. By the way, if you like any of these Top Five posts and/or want any of the songs for some reason, you might want to read our post here about how to download streaming music. It’s not perfect, doesn’t work for every website anymore, but it has its successes, certainly useful if you’re technologically impotent.

Here’s a local show flyer I ran into. I know close to nothing about the bands in attendance, other than it appears to be a good mixture of genres including: Experimental/ Electronica, Pop-Punk, Metal, and Indie Rock/ Folk. Five bands for five dollars. Sounds like a good deal if you ask me.

Here’s a demo from Drive Thru Junkies:

Baaaaaaahhh! Bobby! Get Away from my Propane!

Along with the flyer, I also present to you the facebook event page so you can “Attend” and look cool for your friends: SHAZAM!

BUT, if you’re serious about attending (excuse me if I’m a little jaded. I’ve had bad experiences with shows promoted on facebook) then all you really is to google map the directions and check out the venue. Oh, what’s this? A link to the venue information? I think so: VENUE-TASTIC!

Recently at Le Voyeur in Olympia, Washington I had the pleasure of viewing Admiral St. Grey as the artist I Feel Awesome. This outlandish Brooklyn based artist comes with a sound that I guess could be called music. According to what some really high kids told me, it’s called “futuristic progressive minimalist.” I would definitely describe it as better than being stabbed, but that’s still debatable.

Ms. Grey’s music transcends both genre boundaries, and for that matter logic and reason, all with some proudly with unsolicited gusto. The first EP by I FEEL AWESOME comes with some minimalist drums similar to a an African beat, with a techno backdrop reminiscent of being in a refinery, then lovingly wrapped together with vocals sounding oddly similar to the musical styling of Tsim Fuckis (look it up).

Grey also recently released an EP with her band, Glass Lamborghini, the bands music making about as much sense as their name does. All I can really say about that album is the best song, titled “Make It Sparkle” (linked here), is comprised of a generic synthy beat, with once again minimalist drums. Accompanying Ms. Grey at Le Voyeur were three other “experimental” artists, entitled: Chains Isabella, Cult of Zir, and finally SQURM. I use experimental in these terms the same way mustard gas started as an “experiment.” To be honest a child with a chemistry set would have been more interesting than this dribble. I even walked out of SQURM’s set when the music dropped and there was literally eight straight seconds of him just screaming (I wore a watch).

I must say the one saving grace of this boondoggled catastrophe you could maybe call music was the venue. Le Voyeur has a visually magnificent show room, not to mention a very pleasant restaurant/bar area. The staff are awesome and the foods not half bad, I recommend the fries. All this greatness is accompanied by an excellent bar tender and an extensive list of fine imported beers from around the world.

So in conclusion Le Voyeur in Olympia Washington gets an A rating for Awesome bar/venue. Grey and her experimental posse get a F for Fuck you, and your wasting of my time.

We realize you’re probably still recovering from Mas Sol. Makes sense, only natural after all. Still, take a second away from your week long hangover of torrenting seasons of tv shows to ask yourself-

Do you like feeling good? Do you ever wish you had a chance to see The Ramones in their prime? Fear not, the universe has given you a second chance.

For only forming in 2009, Grandmas Boyfriend has skyrocketed onto the scene. After playing about two million house shows and bars in the Bay Area during 2009, Grandmas Boyfriend said fuck it to the states, and went on to tour Japan in the summer of 2010. Upon their return the band recruited their second guitarist Ralph (one word, like Madonna) and went on to release their first promo in May of 2011. So don’t miss your chance to see them at The Know in Portland on 6/26 and at Le Voyuer in Olympia on 6/27!

So if you’ve ever liked the sound of The Exploding Hearts, The Ramones, The Queers, or basically happiness, now is your chance to show it. See you at The Voyeur on the 27th.

Its finally time! June 10th is here in five days and lets all in the Northwest get ready for a weekend long orgy of musical greatness. As repeatedly whored via this site, Mas Sol begins this Friday at Fort Matlock at five pm! Likewise starting Friday is the 17th Experimental Music Festival in Olympia!

The 17th Olympia Experimental Music Festival

Sponsored by KAOS 89.3 FM, The Olympia Experimental Music Festival can safely be called a fixture in the Olympia arts and music community, this festival celebrates a DIY art ethic within the Northwests traditional radically left music and arts communities. With a mixture of “high profile experimental/avant” and the relatively unknown artists, The Experimental Music Festival is truly a unique feature of Olympia Washington. The first two days of the festival (June 10th and 11th) will feature back to back acts at The Northern, leading up to the massive experiment “Drone for Peace” held at the legislative rotunda (416th 14th ave SW), followed by all musical artists who incorporate visual projection at The Northern. For more information contact the festivals facebook page, or the Festival Director: Nathan Markiewicz at lalungs@msn.com. Below is a listing of the line up for The Experimental Music Festival:

Friday June 10th

Paintings for Animals (Olympia, WA)

Big Tom the Lithuanian (Olympia, WA)

LA Lungs (Tacoma, WA)

Marlo Eggplant (Portland, OR)

Echos of Infiniti (Olympia, WA)

Four-Dimensional Nightmare (Olympia, WA)

Eurostache (San Francisco, CA)

Saturday June 11tt

Wood Paneling (Olympia, WA)

Squim (Portland, OR)

Violet (Olympia, WA)

The Dead Air Fresheners (I-5 Corridor)

Night Jar (Olympia, WA)

Pavonine (Austin, TX)

Megabats (Seattle, WA)

Sunday June 12th, 1pm @ The Legislative Rotunda (416 14th Ave SW)

Drone for Peace in the Key of F: Performed in a variety of U.S. cities, Drone for Peace is a sonic ritual performed by local artists, exploring the key of F, aligning to the Heart Chakra. Here performed in the rotunda of the Capitol’s Legislative Building, it manifests as a small ensemble of string players and vocalists, and invites all willing and interested participants from the Olympia community to collaborate and contribute to global healing.