On Sept 29 Brian Lombardiof the N.Y. Times wrote the above mentioned ‘style’ piece. Talk radio quickly sprang to life denouncing this limp wristed feministic view of manhood. Reading this triviality confirmed to me that what I proposed in Collared Cooking, that many modern males, (it's a stretch to call them men) have become exactly what radical feminism calls for: emasculated cartoons of what real manhood has always been and remains today.

The sad truth is, once attained these boy-men are also unsatisfying to many women and that is why so many women remain sexually and emotionally wanting and so turn to romance novels like ’50 Shades’ that give them the fantasy of a deeply passionate and highly sexual relationship with a masculine, dominant man.

My opinion, corroborated in my book by writings from a dozen women from their 20s to 60s, comes from twenty years of living as a “Dom”, a relationship dominant man who is everything radical feminists hate and deep down inside everything normal women want.

While I do agree with Lombardi’s opening sentence: “Being a modern man today is no different than it was a century ago”, he has it all wrong. In a world of terrorism, of rape and pillage and hate, an age where crucifixion, slavery and beheadings have been brought back to the public consciousness, where police are being gunned down on the streets, the role of a real man has never been clearer than it is today. And it has nothing to do with Kenneth Cole Oxfords or Irish Spring soap.

So allow me to post a real man’s response to this mama’s boy version of masculinity. To make comparison easy I will use Lombardi’s numbers for my rebuttal.

1. A real man buys shoes that will make his woman’s legs look hot because he understands a woman’s need to feel attractive and desired. He will also tell her which colors to paint her toenails and which ankle jewelry and panties work with each pair of shoes. Comfort is the concern of hausfraus.

4. Real men cook their own steak to their personal liking and cook enough to treat their dogs, who sit respectfully by the table waiting for their after dinner treats.

6. Before heading off to bed, real men check the doors and windows to be sure they are secure because the safety of their loved ones is more concern than a charged iPhone.

7. Real men do not feed their loved ones sugary cola of any kind. Sparkled water with lime or club soda will help their children to not be part of the obese class taking over the mama’s boy generation that Mr. Lombardi represents.

8. When a real man hears a man say “chopper”, ”clip”, “bus”, etc., he will know that he is the presence of a Veteran, a Cop, an ambulance driver, etc., and will give the respect due to someone who has served his/her country and made it safe for disrespectful wimps who think that using pretentious words like “gauche” defines masculinity.

9. Having a daughter is blessing from God, and a real man understands the sobering responsibility to teach her what a man is and what a healthy relationship with a man is all about, so that when she becomes old enough to date she will recognize a quality man when she sees one. By watching her parents she will learn how a man protects, cherishes and loves his woman for being all woman, and how a real woman cherishes, loves and respects a man for being all man. There will be no role confusion in her mind.

12. Real men understand that the bathroom in the purview of the woman and don’t mess with it.

15. Real men don’t play games, they communicate. Children of real men don’t need to ‘detect’ anything because their father speaks clearly and articulately to them. They know who he is, what he expects from them, and that they are loved and cherished no matter what his mood.

16. Real men protect their women at all times. Real men understand that home invaders are almost always armed and dangerous. If an intruder invades home of a real man he will be looking down the barrel of a .45 semi auto. The wife will not have to escape from her own home, rather she will do what they have rehearsed with the knowledge and security of a trained partner who knows exactly what is about to happen.

17. Real men cook and cook well. They know that romantic Italian cooking is part of romancing your woman and being a strong, dominate man ala Collared Cooking. Wives of real men don’t need romance books, they live it.

19. Flowers… Often.

20. Real men and real women are each other’s rock. It’s not a shield, it is the place they turn to for strength and support.

25. Real men have guns. Real men are trained in self-defense and the proper use of a gun including safety, caliber, ammunition, ballistics, shot pattern, and the legalities of discharging a weapon. Real men understand that the only defense from a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun who is better trained and accepts the responsibility of protecting his woman and children. More than anything, this is no different than it was a century ago. A real man accepts the responsibility to defend and safeguard his loved ones.

26. Crying.... only when putting down my dog.

27. Real men understand that dance is an emotional and sexual experience to a woman and so are schooled in the classical Latin dances of rhumba, cha cha cha, salsa and bachata. Out dancing real men will dress their woman in a fashion that makes them feel feminine, excited and alluring (see point one above) and leading, protecting and caressing her he will be the man that other women watching them, wish they were with.