Moyes: I will turn Man Utd into Everton

Manchester United manager David Moyes says he will not rest until Manchester United regularly end the football season at between positions 8-15 for 10 years running. “As throughout my career, my main objective is to not get relegated.”

Doubts are being cast on the judgement of Sir Alex Ferguson for recommending Moyes for the role, with some speculating Ferguson may have had early-onset dementia at the time, or that Moyes may have been the cheapest option who could have worked out, but didn’t.

Self-styled ‘Special One’ Joe Moroseinjho said: “Premier league is premier league. There is lot of special player here. No-one can predict outcome of any game. That what make premier league special. One thing I sure of is