For one night, fans of the Peoria Chiefs can have their own replica of LeBron James' first championship ring.

Call it the cheapest promotion in sports history because, like James' ring, the handout doesn't exist.

Among the other James promotional digs planned: A fan will win a "replica" of James' Finals MVP award (which actually went to the Mavericks' Dirk Nowitzki), and Heimlich maneuver classes will be offered to help prevent people from "choking in a big situation."

The Chiefs said they are "looking into" whether they can skip the fourth inning -- another poke at James, who scored just 18 points during the fourth quarter in six NBA Finals games.

"We aren't sure if the league will allow it," Peoria president Rocky Vonachen said in a statement. "But if LeBron doesn't need to show up for the fourth, maybe we won't, either."

"Really, this is just us getting back to the real world and waking up today and trying to solve our own personal problems," vice president of ticket sales Eric Obalil said.

"I kill a communist for fun, but for a green card, I gonna carve him up real nice."

"All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one."

Yeah, I was aware of that and it's partly what I was alluding to. I don't mind all of the piling on. I like it. But it's too the point where Ohio looks like a bunch of chumps. I mean, making the Mavs "Ohioans" for a day or whatever? We looks like a bunch of bitches.

Nobody begrudges us taking some joy in the Finals this year, but enough of that stupid shit already.

I just think piling on from elsewhere si funny, but too much from us makes us look bad.

Galley Boys are slop on top of a so-so burger and a bun you coulde get from a Covneninet food mart generic pack. They the Antoine Joubert of burgers; soft, sloppy, oozing grease and cheap sauce and extremely overrated by a biased fan base. Proof that if you throw enough cheap sauce shit on a burger you still can't overcome the lame burger. -JB