The book CIVILITY by Stephen Carter is a better book in many ways. This one is sometimes a little shallow. None the less, it has value and is recommended. The 25 rules, for example, are a good read, one a night, at bedtime.

Here are the rules. Each has a few pages of discussion:

1 Pay attention

2 Acknowledge others

3 Think the best

4 Listen

5 Be inclusive

6 Speak kindly

7 Don't speak ill

8 Accept and give praise

9 Respect even a subtle "no"

10 Respect others' opinions

11 Mind your body

12 Be agreeable

13 Keep it down (rediscover quietness)

14 Respect other peoples' time

15 Respect other peoples' space

16 Apologize earnestly

17 Assert yourself

18 Avoid personal questions

19 Care for your guests

20 Be a considerate guest

21 Think twice before asking for favors

22 Refrain from idle complaints

23 Accept and give constructive criticism

25 Don't shift responsibility or blame

Two messages of our culture are dangerous:

1 You can achieve anything if you try hard enough

2 What matters in life is to win

Substitute:

1 Doing your best is OK

2 Playing the game well is what matters most (Cubs fans - are you listening?)