Thursday, February 25, 2010

OK. so. we threw the housebunneigh a sorta surprise birthday thing at home.Only to screw everything up when the pivotal moment came for us to "perform" our bestowed duties.

Aih.

We had planned and rehearsed everything from "what to do if she were home" to "wat to do if she wasnt" and "how to react if she saw this" to "how to cover if she heard that" so i'd say we were pretty prepared. in our heads tat is.

We did our thing.VIP laughed. hicked. hissed. lol-ed.And then started lecturing us on wat we did wrong that, upon rational thinking and inspection, made her suspect something was up.

Epic fail.But as long as bday girl is happy, the world still smaylles smiles la.

Therefore from this valuable experience i am now compelled and obligated to compile a list of donts when throwing someone a surprise bash. May this help you (as well as remind yours truly) of the dangers that could potongstimeven the most elaborately planned, most nicely decorated, most silently gathered bash. (actually it was only 4 people. but who cares right?! a party's a party and numbers dont matter!)What NOT-TO-DO when attempting midnight heliumbehlunbday surprise for housemate.

1) Leave foreign visitor's shoe in plain sight.Safe to say tat en extra pair of female kickers in a household dominated by 2 males is indeed a dead giveaway for some eyebrow-raising ponderingshor?

models posed for presentation and dramatic purposes

2) Engage in casual conversations when time bomb is tickingThere are times for chats and there are times to shut tat pie hole for some xinlizunbei moments. If you are in shock, don expect to shock others. Keep quiet. Sit tight and wait for unsuspecting VIP to slide open the door in darkness before pouncing into action. Urgh. We lost focus. Dun follow us.

3) Kill time when awaiting VIP's arrivalRehears. Plan. Train. Meditate. Pray. Anything.Spend your time preparing for the mental and physical challenges tat could kick in any minute also better than treating time like it were nothing la! come on! use ur spare time to think of PLAN D & E & F and run over your steps again and again so u dun get it screwed when its your time to suit up and face the fire. godamit. time is precious and if its not your room, dun treat it like it is.

4) Forget to practice graceful door closing techniques upon panicLoud slams and projected noises, no matter how unintentional they are, ultimately contribute to unsuspecting assailants spider senses to tingle and take away elements of heart attack inducing screams. Hide in swiftness, run in stillness and close friggin doors in silence. Remember remember.

dun bang so hard.

5) Leave camera out in the cold and away from commotionYeah just leap into the room and off the lights THEN realise u left your Kodak-moment capturer outside. obviously the realization of your fatal error comes too late as VIP's presence is already felt indoors. slap urself silly for wasting the opportunity to capture what could be a very memorable facebookphoto.

6) Light pre-refrigerated candle in last minute pitch blacknessAlways blow dry/fan/pre-heat your candle after extraction from cold icy wet places in fear of last minute inability to flame-on when crucially needed. Nothing speaks "happybitchday" more than a fireless candle. Ours wasnt exactly fireless but there was a worriful moment that it wouldnt catch on as VIP strutted in. Phew.

7) 'Phew 'at pre-refrigerated candle in last minute pitch blacknessDO NOT. i repeat. DO NOT allow over-excitement enthusiasmness overwhelm yourself when your candle FINALLY lights and your racing heart makes u exhale that 1 ounce of breathful reliefthat your plan might actually work. Never count your flames before they hatch and never blow out other people's candles for them. I dripped cold sweat when flames got extinguished by my minty-fresh breath in the darkness. Thankfully owhyhad good hands with the lighter. 8) Cramp in bathroom with cake in handNever eat and shit in the same place.erm. sorry sy. heh. nowhere else to hide.