The Spectacular Fur Pike: Proof At Last of Darwinian Evolution.

The Legendary Fur Pike of Campfire Tales presents the world's best evidence for evolutionary theory.

As usual, what's new is really old, and there is nothing new under the sun. Recently around a campfire I heard the Fur Pike described as a new discovery by an amazed outdoorsman who was young and just didn't know any better.

But, as your basic fundamental old guy, I remember learning about the Fur Pike way, way back in the olden days, when the Whatever Scouts were still known as the Boy Scouts of America. And so, I had to fill him in on the true history of the discovery and study of the Fur Pike, correct some errors and fill in the gaps, and I thought it might be beneficial to others to put it out here, especially for other youngsters who don't know the full story.

The Fur Pike is an evolutionary wonder, one of the few creatures who evolved super-rapidly under ever increasing pressure from his main mortal enemy, the wading fly fisherman. It was a matter of species survival, and the Fur Pike, more than any other creature, evolved all sorts of protections and escape mechanisms for avoiding being caught.

We have all learned of the various fish that, while retaining gills, also developed lungs for breathing air, and who's fins evolved into "feet" allowing them to crawl on the ground and even climb on branches or trees growing out of the water. Mud-Skippers, Lung-Fish, Walking Catfish, etc., are all members of this group of coming-out-of-the-water "amphibious" fish. Some of them can move faster on ground than they can swim in water.

Well, the Fur Pike started out as one of these, but the big difference was that he was more delicious than the others, and that made him the target of fishermen. To survive at all, the Fur Pike had to quickly evolve defense mechanisms, or the last of them would just wind up in the pan.

The Fur Pike had protruding high-placed eyes that could come out of the water like periscopes while the rest of the fish remained under water. So he could see a wading fisherman up ahead. Thus forewarned of the danger, he could sneak out of the water, run around the fisherman and then get back in the river and continue on his way.

But the real evolutionary trick that sets the Fur Pike out from all the others involves the evolution of his fins into "feet". Fishermen soon learned of the Fur Pike ability to sneak around in the woods, and began tracking them, to catch them on land, or soon after they re-entered the river.

First, the Fur Pike's "feet" evolved in such a way that they pointed out 180 degrees from his body, rather than straight ahead in the direction he was walking.

Second, the Fur Pike's big toe evolved in such a way that it was right in the middle of the smaller toes rather than on one side or the other of the rest of them.

The result of these two rapidly evolved escape mechanisms was that, whenever a fisherman found the footprints of a Fur Pike, he couldn't tell whether they were coming or going. In order to track the fish, he had to begin the process by flipping a coin, giving the Fur Pike a 50-50 shot that the fisherman would go the wrong way, just for openers.

Once wading fishermen discovered the devilish trick Darwin had played on them with the Fur Pike, they pretty much quit trying to track them and just went back to fishing for whatever they could catch.

But some, remembering the tastiness of the Fur Pike, persisted, and tried to find new ways to find them and catch them. You see, fishermen evolve, too.

And what these persistent fishermen learned (or evolved to know) was two things: that Fur Pike could most often be found in corn fields next to rivers, and that they would rise to flies when they were on land just as well as when they were in the water.

So, the more astute Fur Pike fishermen learned to continuously false-cast a grey ghost or a white maribou just over the corn tassles, never quite letting it land. This can become pretty tiring after a few minutes. However, the hard work often pays off, because a hungry Fur Pike will leap high in the air to snatch a fly over the corn tops, and then you've got a real tussle. You might have to go into the field and unwind line from around corn stalks to finally get him into your creel.

And in the fall, after the harvest, when the corn is down, if you can conceal yourself well enough and be real quiet, you may be able to witness are real spectacle: the mating dance of the Fur Pike. You talk about a spectacle ...

So don't be afraid to go out and start false-casting over the corn. Pay no attention to those who think you're nuts. You will be the one with delicious Fur Pike in your pan.

I would not tell you these things if they were not true. You should know by now that fishermen never lie. It's a code of honor. We occasionally stretch the truth a little, but we never lie. Especially around the camp fire. If you can't trust the guys around the camp fire, then, who would have ever gone on a Snipe Hunt, way back in those golden, olden days before the Boy Scouts evolved into the Whatever Scouts.

And if the rapid evolution of the Boy Scouts into the Whatever Scouts proves anything at all, it is that Evolution is a mental phenomenon and not a physical one.

Seek the Truth; Find the Way; Live the Life.Please God, and Live Forever.

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Atheist Genesis:

In the beginning there was nothing, and nothing happened to nothing.
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See?

“ … for I have sworn upon
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the year of our Lord 1800. The context
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itself throughout the USA. We must wonder what he might say
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