Super sexually attracted to my dates but need to pick one to sleep with.

I’m dating a few people and find all super attractive. I’m kind of old (37) and don’t have time to play around. Here are my options

- Data scientist at google - really nice guy but his personality too logical for my taste. Same age as me. (37) valuable Google RSUs 🤣 but not sure of compatibility. I’ve known him for 2 years and he’s always been super patient, a quality I really value- QA engineer at Apple - he’s super sweet and very caring. Not a typical QA engineer. He can talk about his feelings and can communicate. Boyfriend material for sure. he’s very young. (31)- program manager who’s starting his own company. He’s 35. Drives Tesla X (?) I was suspicious at first bc most single guys don’t drive Tesla X. He took me to Napa and spent the whole weekend w me. But we did not sleep together. Cuddled only. He says he’s looking for a serious relationship but I’m kind of still suspicious. - 43 yo guy. Divorced. We dated last year but broke things off bc his divorce situation. He’s coming back now and trying to patch things up w me. He mentioned his birthday last week and wants to celebrate it with me. I said yes but have been avoiding him so far. We did sleep together last year. Had a lot of sexual compatibility.

I mean, I am? I'm not sure how it could seem any other way. It's not without evidence, considering the sheer number of fuckoffs in this thread, let alone the app. It's not exactly a pro-female kind of environment.

I'm not judging your "way of being female." That doesn't mean you are exempt from poor decision-making or critique. You do you, and to each their own. You be pro-female in your variant, and I will in mine. And no, I don't need to start my own thread because you don't want to be questioned on your choice to broadcast your dilemma amongst a seabed of prawn.

Frankly, take my comments as part of that opportunity of options. Or are you only accepting opinions that fit your parameters of engagement?

You know what you are? A person who makes feminism look bad. You have nothing to do with your time other than going around and criticizing other girls what they should and should not do!

Do you know why men are successful at what they do? Because they lift each other up! Maybe if you really want to be pro-female that’s what you should start doing! I don’t have time for anyone’s critiques of why I shouldn’t start this thread. Also mind your own business if you don’t like what you see.

You wanna back that claim up that I go around criticizing other girls with some posts or comments? I'll wait. ⏳

Das because it 👏 has 👏 nothing 👏 to do 👏 with 👏 being 👏 a female.

Again, you criticize me for having an opinion about your choice to *publicly* broadcast your first-world, Twilight dilemma to a bunch of two-dimensional vamps and wolves, yet I should mind my own business when I'm like, "The whole damn movie is stupid." 🤣

Mistakes come in 31 flavors🍦. I don't lift up poor choices, and neither should you. And stop with the armchair who's-the-better-femenist shit. You make femenism sound petty af. There are countless ways to fight the patriarchy, each with their own impact.

If you don't like what you see on a public post, you can easily block or just ignore me. Instead, you continue to engage when supposedly you have no time. 👋

But, please do reply. I've got plenty of time and even more popcorn. 🏝🍿

Way too late. You say you made bad relationship choices when you were younger, do you think you're not making them now? The title of your post is "Super sexually attracted to my dates but need to pick one to sleep with". You need to rethink your priorities.

🤔 Charlotte was definitely sexually attracted to the guy who ended up to be her husband. No relationship can happen without sexual attraction. Unless you’re asexual. It doesn’t mean you sleep w everyone under the moon, but come on, sex holds the bond in the relationship during dating stage.

I don’t need FB or Netflix TC. Have my own house, enjoy a good career in the Bay Area, wealthy parents :) w $10m+ net worth. TC serves no purpose beyond $100k for me. I drive a Camry and I’m personally content where I am.

If your goal is just sex, I would do either the 31 year old QA guy or the 43 year old divorced guy (since you know sex would be good with the 43 year old and likely really fun with 31 year old).

If your goal is to date someone and marry them within the next 1-2 years and have a baby STAT, I would go with the 43 year old (so long as he doesn’t have a crazy ex wife). The 31 might be OK here too (I am the same age as you and also have been dating guys 5 years you younger...but something has always gone the wrong way, not sure if it’s age or just the particular boys.)

Couldn’t agree more, many normal guys my age or older (who are single) are either divorced (with a crazy ex wife) or if they have never been married, I can find a reason within 5 minutes as to why. I live in the the Bay Area, so I am taking full advantage of the shortage of attractive women (even just women in general).

So with that option 5: keep looking while having fun with 31 or 43 year old. (Curious, the 43 really old didn’t recently return from a year long trip around the world?)

Yeah when I was dating 43 yo last year I found him to be quite mentally and physically compatible. However, he was going through his own issues at that time so I thought it’s best to leave him alone. We ended things but still kept in touch. He comes over and helps me w sporadic errands like gardening. Lol 😀 kind of sweet right?

31 yo I’ve only known for a few weeks but I found him super open and honest. I love that he can communicate his feelings which most guys can’t at all. He hinted at wanting to be exclusive but I’m buying myself some time to get to know him better and not sign up for anything for now.

No way a 37 year old woman who's dating 4 guys is ugly, just lacking in confidence. My ex thought she was ugly, but she was a knock-out. Women have skewed perceptions of their own beauty. I bet this woman is a stunner. At 37, most women have quite a bit of trouble finding dates, much less the ugly ones.

As a woman and in dating stage and in same age range as you I would say go for divorced one if he wants kids:) and looks you liked him in bed .. second choice would go for Data scientist, seems nice too.. third place will take 31 yr old , usually at that age they don’t want kids so it will take some major work with uncertain results.. Btw, Tesla x doesn’t tell anything nowadays.. I know 24 year old single girl who drives Tesla X🤣🤣But most importantly trust your intuition !!! Maybe you know something subconsciously ..

I’m not sure what you’re looking for — consistent FWB experience leading to something serious?

Here is my advice— I’ll rule out the 37 year old and 43 year old guys. The former sounds too geeky and the latter is too old.

I have a hunch The 31 year old is only fooling around. From your replies it seems you are looking to sleep with ONE person over a reasonable period. If so, I’d recommend meeting other men between 35 and your age. Younger men have more stamina and not too young could also imply emotional compatibility — if you’re interested in something serious later.

However, after dating other men you still feel the 31 year old is genuine — call him home and eat him for dessert 😉

Stick with someone who is preferably your age or at most two years younger. If you’ve never been married before, stick to the ones who aren’t married as well! You’re growing older, so don’t additional baggage.

Lastly, if nothing works out there is always an FWB relationship. Don’t short change yourself :)

🤔 very hard. I see your logic of eliminating married guys and younger ones but it’s not that simple. You have to gauge each person individually and not jump to conclusions.

If I use your logic, Google guy is best option for me but I think it’s been 2 years and we are only on friends level so it might be best to stay that way. I could say something and make him move faster but emotionally we might not be right for each other. So it’s the reason I’ve tended to put a pause on him in the past

I’ll focus on the 43 year old guy — you feel emotional and physical comparability. You also slept with him but not any of the other three. You also mentioned money isn’t that big a deal — 100K$ is good enough. So if all these criteria are met, why are you confused between these four men? Try him out for some time before striking him off completely?

I also think the google guy isn’t a good idea — if nothing has happened in two years, you won’t touch each other in 20 either!

35 year old — why are you suspicious of him? Driving a Tesla is a fad these days. Besides, he might be leasing one! It takes about $1100 per month.

31 year old — hmmmm he is too young. No offense, you’re 37 and on average women age faster in their 30s. There is a chance he might lose interest gradually. Again, may be he’s not that kind of a guy.

Also, do you want to get married? Have you discussed this with the 43 year old? Is he game to marry again?

Lastly, I thought the 31 year old drives a Tesla. I assumed he and the 35 year old to be the same. My bad.

How do I unsubscribe from this stupid thread? I thought I did but I still keep getting notifications for it. OP does not "need" to pick one to sleep with and this is clearly a troll post to get points.

Looks like among other things, your primary goal is to get married and have a baby fairly soon. The more you wait, harder it gets and probability of down syndrome increases exponentially (sorry but that's a fact). Need someone who's rational, not crazy, makes decent money but above all is ready to have a baby in next couple of years max. Good Luck!

They all talked about wanting kids, but I’m sure this cannot be top priority when you are trying to decide. If I don’t look at each guy and seriously consider their personality and who they are, then the relationship is doomed

That Tesla guy has money issues . Unless that PM has a million in assets (not a house on loan), that 100k down the drain on the car only suggests the guy has poor grasp of money. Since you seem to care about TC, this is a red flag.

That data scientist sounds cool ! Rational and logical folks are very dependable.

And for dates, try avoiding those red dresses, they don't look good on you!

ask their relationship history. That's very imp info your missing out. Someone who has never had a relationship last longer than 2 years is a bad choice. If someone has been married before and got divorced for not much fault of theirs, is self reflective about their mistakes, and wants to be married, much better. Someone who has never had a serious relationship -- stay away.

Whenever you are having issues like “who should I date?” Or “should I break up?” It usually means the issue is with your self esteem. How is your self esteem? How is your confidence? So many women and men stay in bad/mediocre relationships because they don’t realize they are capable of finding a great one