The Shining: Really well respected. I haven’t seen it, but I did see the Simpsons parody. Does this still count as unseen?

Killer Klowns from Outer Space: The theme song is okay, but the Dickies have done so much better. I don’t wanna watch this movie. Clowns don’t scare me, and I suspect that people who do fear them are just putting me on

Lake Placid: Comedy horror flicks only work well if you’re familiar with the tropes. I’m not, so I think I’ll skip it

Rawhead Rex: My uncle Billy tried to get me to watch this with him. We played with his SNES instead. I miss him

Mountaintop Motel Massacre: Oh, wait, I did watch this one

Cult of Chucky: One of the best Chucky films. It’s amazing how long dead franchises can come back more vital than ever when taken over by – wait, is that a cat hair on my keyboard? My cat’s been dead for years. He sure shed a lot