Shady advice from a raging bitch who has no business answering any of these questions.

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On fun-sized advice.

Why is is that condoms in America have sizes, but in Europe they don’t?Marketing and the metric system.

Do you feel comfortable labelling your priveleges? If so, I’d like to know? White? Cisgender?Spell checker.

How do you know you’re not the deluded one?Because I’m not the one with the beliefs. (For the record, not believing isn’t a belief.)

What’s the most important thing in life?The present moment.

Have you ever been the other woman?In a threesome? Sure. In an illicit affair? Not to my knowledge.

If he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you. True or false?Universally true.

Where is the line between emotionally needy and emotionally manipulative?Intent.

How do I tell a five-year boyfriend I’m not in love with him anymore? Or that I maybe never even loved him in the first place?Oh, get over yourself. It’s not your boyfriend’s fault that you’re a different person after five years. Don’t be all dramatic. Grow a fucking spine and just break up with him already.

Is it okay to have an affair with my married teacher?Go fuck yourself.