The Chronic Illness Hell Flare.

“I will take charge of my illness it cannot be in charge of me.”

Before we begin, can I just explain how much I hate going to the doctor? I mean, getting ready? (Showering is hard but who wants to be the ‘funky’ patient?) The questions! When was your last period? Yes, the question they ask you every damn time, and you can NOT remember! Could you be pregnant? Well, what are the chances of immaculate conception? The enticing but gross magazines. Even though you want to lose yourself in one of those bad boys all you see is “GERMS!”

So back to my initial statement, “I will take charge of my illness it cannot be in charge of me.”I realize this is now bullshit. Because it has me by the rear and is shaking me like the 70’s commercial for shake N bake“…and I helped!” (Remember that sweet little child in the commercial who helped? If you don’t, I can’t help you understand.) I am not saying, you can ‘control’ this chronic illness at all times, but I am saying you can take charge by coming up with a plan.

Taking charge (in this case) of a flare that has come out of nowhere and I really don’t even know if it is a flare or if an alien really did succeed in taking over my body… ‘taking charge’ means any damn way we can think of! I currently put out an S.O.S. to my doctor. (Did I mentioned how much I hate going to the doctor?) Yes-I-Did! And I LIKEmy doc! But I will do whatever she requests if she will just call!!!

My trip to the chronic illness hell flare is called “My FM Day.” I named it. Notice the positive indication of calling it a ‘day’ instead of three days, or a week, or a month? Just stay with me, I know I sound like a crazy person right now. There is nothing positive about having a flare. I let others know by stating I am having an “FM Day” so I do not have to verbally abuse them. Those who care to know more will ask. Those who understand will not need to ask and will retreat. So, take a moment and name your ‘hell’ day, week, or month. (Please inform your loved ones of said name.)

Got a name?

Now get a box, bag or suitcase.

And gathered supplies for…

“My [insert hell flare name] Day”

Adult coloring books and colored pencils.

DVDs.

Netflix.

Amazon Prime Video.

Zentangle workbooks and gel pens.

Sketchbooks.

Journals.

Crossword Puzzle Books.

Playing Cards.

etc.

There will be rescue medications we will have on hand for flares. At times, we will have an S.O.S. call into our doctor. There will be soft PJs and lots of pillows on the bed. Don’t text! Don’t write letters! Talk as little as possible because you will not have nice things to say! Seclude yourself as much as possible but when the flare is over, it is over. Taking charge means we get through IThowever we need to!

35 comments

I think it is important not to let our illnesses take charge of us though sometimes it’s difficult. I always say “We should not be defined by our conditions.”
Love the list of supplies for your ‘FM” (Aka flare days).

I really hope this flare eases soon Kim. I could definitely relate to what you said about not talking to people because you won’t have nice things to say. Sometimes I just warn my hubby that I’m not feeling well so he might want to keep his distance….😊 Take care of yourself!

You are strong my friend. I admire you. I’m having and MMP Day, get out of my way. (Menier’s Migraine, Pain) Sometimes I have a MMD day…who am I kidding, I’m having a MMPD day. (D is for Dizzy…or Diarrhea, or in cases like today…both) I think I’m going to take a nap, if the pain will let me. I have surgery in 7 days, this flare HAS TO end by then. I sincerely hope you feel better soon. I hope your dr van help.
Oh. And thanks, I’ll never pick up another magazine in a doctor’s office!! LOL. xo. Wen

Kim I am so sorry you are dealing with a flare right now. I totally understand wanting to stay away from people during a flare. I know our flares are a little different, but when I have a flare from MS I want to be away from everyone which includes my husband and even my cats! During flares we feel miserable and people tend to be a little more obnoxious! I agree with you, I hate going to the doctor because the getting ready when I am already feeling terrible, waiting for the damn doctor and then the ridiculous questions that are always involved. It does not help at all that I truly HATE my doctor because she has been very rude to me when I was having a horrible flare! I really hope things ease up for you very soon. Please get plenty of rest and do what makes you happy and comfortable! Sending you LOTS of love, comfort, positive vibes and healing vibes!!

Hell flares for sure! Request a different doc. You do not need a referral. Do not put up with snarky docs. No need. There will still be the dumb questions! Alyssa, probably safer for all if a lil distanced is implemented! Ha!😉 definitely resting! xo

The reason my current doctor pissed me off so bad is when I had my horrible relapse that started in October. I did the MRI that was ordered and when she viewed it she said and this was in front of my husband that it was the WORST MRI she has ever seen! Who says that to their patient? Once we actually get moved, I am going to get a new doc, which I have already been researching!
I hope you start feeling better! If distance is what you need, that is what you should get. Sending you love and comfort, from a distance:)!!

Kim;
I am so sad to hear how much life is challenging you at the momment. I totally empathize, as I have been going through it too. I just want you to know your strength is inspiring and I thank you for your encouragement.

Thank you Heidi for you constant sharing and encouragement! We will get through these flares but they are tough! It takes so much out of you. So you make sure you are taking care of yourself too, my friend. My contact info is always available. 💜

I love the image at the top of your post! So sorry to hear that you are on the battlefield of a flare…I sensed a possible flare a week or two ago and managed to say “no” and take some time for self-care, I still have some tender spots but the intense scapula pain was banished with Advil…I hope your doc can help and you find yourself on the other side soon!

I have a visual of this shake N bake hell. I think you’ve worded this very well, and the concept of naming the flare is a good one. For some reason at the moment I don’t want to admit I’m struggling, like I can hold on just a little longer without admitting it, but it’s not doing me any favours. I’m going to name mine ‘My DNA Day’ (Do Not Ask) for when I’m too exhausted to talk about it and explain to those who don’t ‘get it’. Or just ‘My SFSBF’ and whatever other swear words I can think to cram into that acronym. Be well, Kim. Take your time, use your resources, take time out from what you can’t face, the world will still be here. Sending love 🌷
Caz xx

I like the ‘DNA’ name… the SFSBF is certainly my second favorite… 😉 So FM was simply supposed to mean fibromyalgia… but, yes, something a bit naughty has come to have somewhat more meaning! Kinda feel like it is a fuck me day! LOL! We’ll get this beast, one way or another! Hell Yeah! Love ya Caz! xoxo

Good to see another person is perturbed by that question too. When was your last cycle. C’mon that’s not why I’m here…how in the h-e-double hockey sticks is that relevant?? I’m here literally because I feel worse than my normal awful and you are asking me maintenance questions…just stop.