Sunday, 19 July 2015

Bengali Wedding Rituals

As I mentioned in my last post, I am starting the So-Shaadi Series today with a lot of enthusiasm.

When I started the So-Shaadi series, I thought this would be a one time affair and never thought it would be a segment on So-Saree. But seeing the popularity of the series and requests from So-Saree Readers I have decided / you can say I will atleast try to do this segment once a year. So, when I announced the end of the So-Shaadi Series on my blog last December, I received a sweet message from a blogger friend. She was disappointed I was putting an end to this segment, as she was going to be a bride in a few months and wanted to feature on it. And like we always say on So-Saree...Never say Never..!

So, I decided that whenever I re-start this segment it will be none other than Anupriya, who will kickstart this series.

Anupriya, is one of my nicest blogger friends who blogs on Chappals vs Stilletoes. She also heads the very fashionable and quirky brand Howrah Bridge and I am guilty of not checking out on her latest collection, coz I fear I will blow up all my money buying her stuff. It's soo good.

So Anupriya married the love of her life this February and she made a picture perfect Bong Bride. I loved what she wore, but more so I loved how beautifully she has penned down all the Bengali wedding rituals for So-Saree readers. Thanks Anu, I can't thank you enough.

Over To You Gorgeous...!!!

A Bengali wedding is as big & fat an affair as a Marwari
or a Punjabi one. Preparations start from months ahead and the last out-of-town
relatives leave the bride/groom’s house at least a week after all the
ceremonies are over. Though my wedding date was fixed six months before, to my
surprise, booking a venue took us almost a week as all major venues supposedly
get booked one to two years in advance! So, after six months of running around,
planning, manipulating, strategizing, going crazy and driving people crazy; the time finally came – outstation friends
& relatives started pouring in, the trousseau started to get ready, last
minute preparations were done and before I could say “marriage”, it was time
for me to play Bride!

The day before the wedding starts with frenzied preparations
as that’s the day the bride has her last (big) lunch at her maternal home as a
spinster. The ritual is called “Aaiburobhaat” [aaiburo = spinster, bhaat =
rice] which demands the bride be fed a traditional lunch of rice, shukto
(a concoction of various vegetables), daal (pulses), five types of
fries, two to three kinds of fish, chutney (a tangy preservative dish),
sweets &mishit doi (sweet yoghurt). This huge meal is spread out in
front of the bride, who sits surrounded by her unmarried friends, sisters or
cousins, who all are fed bits of the meal by the bride, thus increasing their
chances of getting married soon (or so they say)! I wore a red/yellow/gold
cotton silk sari for the occasion with gold jewellery that had already come in
as wedding gifts from various relatives.

Once the bride finishes her lunch and rests a bit – or
rather has a photo session with her wedding photographer – it’s time for the Mehendiwala
to come with his bag full of henna cones and fat albums full of beautiful
designs to choose from. An evening of merriment ensues with the bride & her
entourage of female friends & family having their hands henna-ed with
intricate designs with filmi wedding songs playing in the background. I
loved the peacocks swirling halfway up my arms and the traditional motifs on my
feet even though it meant having to sit still with my hands & legs propped
up till the middle of the night! Since the long & tedious process of applying
henna required me to wear something comfortable, I opted for a georgette Howrah
Bridge kaftan tunic & leggings for the evening which turned out to be a
stylish as well as practical choice!

The morning of the big day starts very early for the bride
as she has to be up before sunrise to eat a concoction of yoghurt & puffed
rice, because the bride has to fast for the rest of the day till the wedding
rituals get over. We went over to the wedding venue by 8am and started preparing
for the Haldi ceremony and Viddhi puja. I draped a customary taant
(Bengali handloom) sari for the occasion along with gold ornaments (Bengalis
can’t think beyond gold when it comes to wedding jewellery and this was
possibly the only time I wore so much gold for so many days at a stretch). The
sari that I had to wear for the Haldi, along with the one I changed into after
the ceremony, came in the twatto (gifts that are part of the trousseau)
from the groom’s house – along with other saris, cosmetics, toiletries,
accessories they gave me for the wedding as well as gifts they sent for my
family. I gave a twist to the traditional sari by pairing it with a printed
blouse.
The Haldi ceremony was a fun affair with married women encircling me,
carrying out some customary rituals and then putting the first touches of
turmeric on me. They were soon joined by the unmarried girls who also got a few
streaks swiped on their faces, again for ensuring their quick marriage! I told
them to keep the haldi-applying to a bare minimum as I had to take a
bath and rush for my appointment with the make-up artist soon thereafter.

Then came the final evening that will always remain one of
the most memorable times of my life. I reached the venue, all dressed up in my
bridal finery, to find a few guests already waiting for me. As the evening wore
on, more & more guests started pouring in, inundating me with gifts,
well-wishes, greetings & lots of love. My bridal attire was an Upadda silk
sari (draped in a traditional Bengali style) in shades of peach/pink/orange
with elaborate gold zari woven beautifully all over the body. I chose to
pair it with a contrast green brocade blouse, a customized veil & of
course, all my beautiful gold jewellery! The mahurat of the wedding
rituals was late in the night and by the time the actual ceremony started, only
the closest family & friends stayed back to witness the bonding of our
souls.

A Bengali wedding
starts with the bride being carried to the mandap on a piri (a
rectangular piece of wood meant for sitting on) by her brothers. In my case,
all the men carrying me were friends whom I call brothers (and even tie rakhis
on). As per rituals, the guys carried me, circling the groom five times – with
me holding betel leaves in front of my face, so that the bride & groom
can’t see each other – at the end of which, I uncovered my face for the first
sight of my husband-to-be! Amidst much catcalls & excitement, we then
exchanged garlands three times for the mala-bodol ceremony. Then I’m set
down back on the ground, with him sitting by my side in front of the holy fire
after which the wedding puja starts. My father was called to join in the puja
and do kanyadaan (officially hand over his daughter to the groom). This
is followed by sindoor-daan when he put vermilion on my forehead, thus
making me his wife. Then the bride & the groom has to take the saat
pheras (go around the holy fire seven times, chanting the vows of marriage)
and culminate the wedding by pouring khoi into the fire to douse out the
flames.

I left my home the next morning, after the vidaai
rituals were carried out, and journeyed to my new abode to start a new phase of
my life. I was received at his home by my mother-in-law who again carried out
some customary traditions, while my father-in-law welcomed me to the household
with yet more gold jewellery.

Thanks Anu, for this beautiful post. I have a major crush on your saree wardrobe. :)

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About So-Saree

A Blog not just about Sarees. From Nail Art, Culture, Food, Travel, Reviews, Random Ramblings and Sarees... So-Saree has it all.

About Me

Hi! I am Aditi from Mumbai. I love art, fashion, music, travelling, books and sarees of course. Writing is something I am trying my hand at with So-Saree. Hope to learn a lot and grow in the process. If you have any questions or just wish to say Hi, write to me at sosareee@gmail.com