How to Start a Conversation With a Girl Online

In today’s day and age I can totally understand if you want to know how to start a conversation online. We are surrounded by online dating sites and weird but highly effective dating apps. A couple of years ago you were frowned at when you said that you met your girlfriend on an online dating site. Today this is the most normal thing in the world.

Today people are rather shocked when you tell them that you met your girlfriend without the help of modern technology. There are millions of attractive single women who hope to find their knight in shining armor on one of many online dating websites.

The only problem is that the high number of women who are looking for the right partner attracts an even higher number of men who dream about being that perfect partner. The competition doesn’t sleep and the more men are hoping to get a date with a woman, the more important it gets to set yourself apart from the other guys.

Saying the same things as everyone else and hoping that she replies doesn’t work .Therefore, the completion is simply too high. Because I wanted to know how many messages a hot girl gets on an online dating profile I recently made the test and set up a fake profile with a sexy picture of a half-naked girl. I received over a dozen messages in the first couple of minutes.

The girl you want to write to has probably about ten messages in her inbox that she hasn’t even opened yet. This experiment will show you what I mean. You are definitely not the only one who wants her but with the following tips you are the one who gets her.

Step 1: The Perfect Subject Line

How do you start a conversation online? Okay, it usually starts with setting up your profile, adding a professional photo and writing some interesting stuff about yourself, but I simply assume that you have already done that.

What’s next? You look for a girl you are attracted to and you write her. Saying the right things to her is important but there is one thing that she will see even before she reads your message. The first thing a woman sees when you send her a message on an online dating site is the subject line. Ignoring this tiny detail would be a huge mistake. Come on, you can be more creative than all the other guys who write a boring “hey”, “how are you” or “hello beautiful” in the subject line. Be funny, be playful and make her want to open your message.

Even though the following subject lines sound completely ridiculous they actually worked with a great success rate when I used them:

10 Reasons Why You Should Open this Message

You are beautiful but why are you so shy?

I am not a prince but I am charming

Step 2: Forget About the Standard Message

What do most guys write in their first message they send to a girl online? A lot of them use the same message for every girl they write to. The message they tend to use looks like this:

Hey, How are you? You are really beautiful and I just wanted to say hi.

Opening a word document, writing down a line that she has already heard a million times before and hoping that you are one of the twenty guys who wrote the same crap who she will actually reply to is not the best way to start a conversation online.

Do yourself a favor and forget about the standard message. If you don’t personalize your message at least a little bit she will instantly know that you just play the numbers game and that you write the same thing to every girl.

This is like throwing a tomato on the wall and hoping that it sticks. It doesn’t work like that. Oh, and make sure that you don’t end up writing the stuff like these guys.

Step 3: Give Her an Individual Compliment

Now that you know that you shouldn’t write the same message to every girl, it is time to have a look at what you can actually write to make her heart thump. Giving a girl an honest compliment is great but in the online world you have to be more creative than in real life.

A girl who you approach with a direct compliment on the street will be flattered and excited when you tell her that she looks beautiful, because nearly no man has the balls to approach her. In the online world things are a little bit different. Men are a lot less afraid of writing to women than they are of talking to them in real life. As a result of that the average girl on an online dating site gets a lot of compliments.

The two most common compliments are definitely “you are cute” and “you are beautiful”. Women who are actively searching for a partner online have heard those lines a million times. If you want that she replies it is time for something new.

Look at her profile picture and give her a compliment that you can only give her and not to any other girl. In case she has blue eyes, blond hair, a red top and a friendly smile you can use all those elements to design your perfect compliment. A compliment that you can’t simply give every woman will make her feel special and when a man makes her feel special he deserves to get a reply.

Step 4: Use the Information She Gives You

Telling a woman why you are attracted to her looks is great but if you want to make her feel really special you have to be one of the few guys who tell her that her personality and her hobbies are also nothing to sneeze at.

Take your time and look through her profile. If you have never done that you will be amazed at how much women reveal about themselves in an online dating profile. Make use of the information she gives you.

If she says that she traveled to six countries within the last year, you would be stupid if you wouldn’t tell her that you like the fact that she is well-travelled and that it is amazing that she is brave enough to travel all around the world.

Step 5: Give Her a Reason to Reply

Now she knows why you write her. You made clear that you are not only attracted to her beautiful smile, but also to the fact that she is an interesting person. It is definitely nice to know that you like the fact that she is well-travelled but does she have any proof that you not just say that without meaning it?

If you only tell her that you like the fact that she is well-travelled without linking this characteristic to yourself, she can easily get the impression that you just say it to impress her. Tell her exactly why you love this fact about her and share your own interests and experiences with her. Provide her with an answer to the question “why should I reply?”

Once you tell a well-travelled girl that you traveled through South America and that you dream about embarking on a trip all over Europe, she will know that you will have a lot to talk about when you meet each other in person and that ending up in a relationship with you will be anything but boring.

About the authorPatrick Banks

Patrick is a Berlin-based dating advisor, motivational speaker, a huge fitness and vegan diet enthusiast and the main editor at Wingman Magazine, specialised in men's health. His ultimate goal is to share with men around the world his passion for self-development and to help them to become the greatest version of themselves. He believes a healthy body and successful social interactions are two main keys to happiness.