How JustAnswer Works:

Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.

Get a Professional Answer

Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.Ask follow up questions if you need to.

100% Satisfaction Guarantee

Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question

Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist

Category: Relationship

Satisfied Customers: 3189

Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach

65591635

Type Your Relationship Question Here...

Rafael M.T.Therapist is online now

I have been seeing a man who has been legally separated for

Resolved Question:

I have been seeing a man who has been legally separated for 2 years. He seems to have no plans of divorce in the near future. His wife tells him they can't for tax reasons. He makes $13 an hour and she makes a lot of money and just inherited thousands. He sees her at least 2 times a week and won't answer my calls when he is at her house. She delivers food to him weekly, picks up his prescriptions, buys him groceries, they text and talk on the phone daily, and they still buy each other birthday and Christmas gifts. They have 2 grown kids and he has never introduced them to me, even though he has been in my kids life. He gets very angry when I ask him about it. I also caught him last year spending a weekend with another woman. The one thing is that he spends most of his time with me and he has been there for me every single time I have needed him. He tells me he would never have a physical relationship with her and that they are just very good friends. you tam I being naive or like he says crazy.

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about your situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

This is obviously a very challenging and concerning situation. You are describing an adult person who has separated from wife -according to what he has told you- but after two years he remains having daily communication, emotional intimacy, sharing, and more, but he denies any form of sexual involvement. In reality most times scenarios like this, where spouses do not live together but do everything you say he does with her, do also keep an active sexual life, that's why your situation what got my attention.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The you said he uses the tax thing as the reason for them not to divorce. Again, this reason is not common at all as a valid one in real life, but most times a justification.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

He doe not have little children to justify staying married, but he has no way to justify not having introduce m them to you. One more red flag! Never answers your calls when he is with her... and he gets very angry if you mention the topic. I am sorry but these concrete issues are not only red flags but concrete issues showing you this person has not been honest with you at all.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The you report you caught him spending a weekend with another woman. This is very serious. I am afriad you have been too passive enabling all this abusive and unacceptable situations. It is obvious to be he is not honest neither even respectful towards you. No doubt fidelity is not a reality there considering the scenario you depict here.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry but believe this is a very unhealthy and painful situation , but you need to face the whole reality if you want to start taking good care of yourself and life, unless, you truly think and feel it is worthy for you to keep a relationship like this, with all these issues-limitations because of the pros you experience with him. Only if you truly believe that and were willing to afford the present and future consequences from such approach, you could keep gong, sure you can. But if your core needs and expectations in life are much better than that, then please look for professional counseling support in order to move away from such an unhealthy relationship.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Does it make sense?

Customer: thank you so much! Deep down I knew this, I just needed someone to tell me. Im going to find a therapist first thing Monday. I need to get out of this toxic relationship.

Customer: Thanks

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome. I totally support you. Please take gentle care and consistent action.

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.DianeDallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

Kate McCoy

Counselor

Satisfied Customers:

1637

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ask a Counselor

Get a Professional Answer. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed.

57 Counselors are Online Now

Type Your Relationship Question Here...

characters left:

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.