Monday, April 10, 2006

The Unholy Trinity

So Thomas is always teasing me about my incredible hatred for Bob Dylan, which is approached in scope and depth only by my hatred for Aaron Neville. Add Rod Stewart, and you have my unholy trinity. A joint concert by these people would likely cause me a heart attack or stroke. At the very least.

Dude, what is up with Bob Dylan. I mean, seriously. What is UP with Bob Dylan? His voice sounds like my weed whacker minus it's tone and depth, and we're all supposed to overlook that because "his lyrics are so brilliant."

Sample brilliant lyric:"He hears the ticking of the clocks And walks along with a parrot that talks Hunts her down by the waterfront docks" --Simple Twist of Fate by Bob Dylan

Is anyone really trying to tell me that when Mr. Dylan pictured this sad love song, there was really a talking parrot in it? Or could it be perhaps that 'talks' was the only thing that he could think of that rhymed with 'clocks' and 'docks'? Or, to press this matter a bit further, are there plenty of things that rhyme with 'clocks' and 'docks' and Mr. Dylan was so lazy that he simply left in this extraneous parrot?It just pisses me off.

Some people are of the opinion that I hate Bob Dylan because my highschool boyfriend sent Blood on the Tracks to me as a reconcilliatory action 6 years after our breakup. Some people think that I listened to it obsessively and heard in it every apology he never made and then agreed to travel 400 miles to see him, where he promptly dumped me again. Some people think that, is all I'm saying.