Cofficer of the Law

Just when you thought a law degree was worthless, along comes Cofficer of the Law to remind you that, yes, you can practice law effectively from Starbucks, especially if armed with irony, a deep disdain for hard work, and a Venti skim pumpkin spice latte. Make no mistake about it, Cofficer of the Law can outmaneuver almost any BigLaw associate—in doing menial things like checking for legal marketing Twitter updates and commenting on Above the Law.

A native of Brooklyn, Cofficer of the Law rolls with no sidekick other than commandeering the person sitting next to him at the coffee shop—who doubles as an affiant for whatever legal needs walk through the door. Watch out, Dr. Evil Tannebaum, this cofficer is about to practice law—at a cost of $3.55 cents a day.Damage: Does 3 damage to the practice of law, six if using an app or an iPad; can do 4+ damage to legal arguments if combined with ironyWeaknesses: Fixed wheel bikes, Google, realitySidekick: The guy next to himArch Enemy: Dr. Evil Tannebaum