THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

TEMPER TANTRUM

TEMPER TANTRUM

I just
watched a clip of a young professional baseball player throwing an in-the-dugout
tantrum after a bad pitching outing.It
made me think of Tiger Woods and his little immature outbursts every time he
doesn’t hit a perfect shot or make every putt.There is no excuse for these silly outbursts.As professionals, these cretins should learn
how to deal with failure as much as they accept their successes.

Then I
remember the young Cranky. The young Cranky was not always a lot of fun on the golf course.

It was not
unusual for the young Cranky to throw a golf club after a bad shot.I broke more than a couple of shafts banging
the club head into the turf and threw many a ball into a water hazard in
disgust…

And I
sucked!!

I had very
little expectation of success and yet I could not handle failure.

I don’t
think my brothers were much better.We
used to refer to it as the “Hagy Disease.”We were never bad sports in team events, but in individual endeavors my
family has a propensity for emotional outbursts.

My oldest brother,
Jim, was not a club thrower, but he could be verbally abusive toward himself on
a golf course. I seem to recall my
brother Chris being a pretty good club thrower though no one could throw a club
as far and as straight as the young Cranky.

If you watch
a TV golf match today, someone always yells out after every drive, “Baba
Booey,” “mashed potatoes,” “you da man,” or “get in the hole.”In my family, the after drive-yell was always
“dammit.”

“Dammit
Jim!”

“Dammit
Chris!”

“Dammit
Joe!”

This yell
was often followed by a club thrown further than the ball was hit.

I am pleased
to announce, as I realize how dumb these outbursts are, that I have not thrown
a golf club in years.

I have not
seen my brother throw a club or show any real sign of frustration other than
the “dammit Chris,” since I don’t know when.

I believe
Jim quit the game in favor of sailing where I am quite sure he never lost his
temper.I did hear him once say “Oh
shit,” but that was when he realized the boat sprung a serious leak through the
propeller shaft.He then went on to
calmly remedy the problem and kept the boat afloat.

I wonder, is
it maturity, or is it just when you lose the exuberance of youth, you gain the
realization that greatness has escaped you and there is no reason for
self-flagellation?

Years ago, I played a ton of golf and had a pretty low handicap. I played with a Japanese guy named Mr. Goto on Prince Edward Island. He had a handicap of one stroke better than me.

We played neck and neck until the 17th hole. He hit a drive that veered left into the rough. I slammed what I thought was the best drive of my life, right down the middle of the fairway. However, my ball hit a sprinkler head and flew to the right into the woods, out of bounds. I lost the match by one stroke.

As I carried on, moaning and complaining on the 18th green, Mr. Goto said to me, "Mr. JJ, you good play golp. Some thing beyond you control." I thought about it a while (paid him what I lost), then bought him dinner for the lesson.

You ever play frisbee golf? that would eliminate breakage as well as making tantrum throwing safer.

I used to throw things but hated to clean up the mess. it is funny seriously that I would reach for something ... oh, noooo no the flashes of picking up the aftermath as well as I really liked what I was about to break were as quickly flashed in my mind as the anger and so I quit.

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About Me

I am 70 years old, I have 4 children 45,42,40 and 18;and 5 grandchildren 13-6
. Divorced twice, married three times. I worked on Wall Street for 40 years after graduating from Lafayette College in 1968. I have turned to writing as since retirement I needed something to tell people "What the F*** I do." Published one book "Maybe It's Just Me!" available at Amazon, soon to release my second, "I Used To Be Stupid."
on twitter JoeHagyauthor