Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Easter Grinch

I would not call myself a family person. Believe me, I am fully aware that this makes
me sound like I have a heart full of
stone, but that’s not exactly what I mean.
I have a pretty large family, not just in my four siblings and four
parental units, but also in my extended family on both sides. Not only is the family large, but most of
them (both immediate and extended) live in or near the small town where I grew
up.

Needless to say, I grew up surrounded by people, especially
at holidays. Most holidays had
little more meaning than a lot of food and a lot of people, and I looked
forward to them only so I could eat as much dessert as I wanted and listen to
relatives comment on how tall I was getting (a source of never-ending pride to
my young self).

However, my parents especially are not overly emotional
people, preferring instead to just quietly support whatever I wanted to do. So it was that when the time came to move to
Chicago for college, there were a few tears of course, but mostly I felt free to move on. I called whenever I felt it was time, and I
didn’t give in to the lonely feelings of homesickness because I knew it was only a matter of time
before I saw them again.

All that background leads me into a story. Rewind to this time last week, and I was a grumpy
mess. Easter was coming, and we had
no family around to celebrate with. As
previously mentioned, I’m used to big gatherings full of small talk and too
much food, and the idea of spending a holiday with just the hubdubalub and me
was just plain depressing, to be
honest. If ever there were an Easter Grinch,
it would have to be me. I guess I’m more
of a family person than I had realized…

Anyway, I wasn’t fun to be around. Every time I thought of Sunday, I got sad and
lonely and made snide comments about it being “just the two of us” with a sour
look on my face, as if I could think of nothing
worse than spending time with the love of my life. Please pity the husband-man, he could use it!

As the week rolled on, I decided I was going to slap Easter
in the face and make it wonderful and memorable and delicious even if it was -sigh- just the two of us. I bought a feast and picked out a pretty
Easter outfit and pretended to be happy when in fact I was still quite
grumbly about it all.

There I was in church Easter morning in my pretty outfit
with the menu all planned for the afternoon, and something began gnawing on
me. Church is so darn good at bringing out those feelings, the ones we call “convictions”
in Christianese. As the sermon
progressed, it began to sink in that Easter is the epitome of joy, the one day
where the entire foundation of my life is proved victorious. He is risen! the church sang, and my heart
began to rise with Him.

If ever there was a day to be truly joyful, it is Easter
Sunday, my friends. I was so
self-centered and self-pitying that I had completely overlooked the reason we
gather to celebrate: that my Savior conquered death for
my sake and has risen to live among us.
My oh my did I feel small as I realized that those very selfish thoughts
are the kind that remind me how needy I am, how desperate for the grace offered
in Christ’s victory over the cross.

After all the sadness leading up to it, this Easter was good, dear readers. We did feast.
We did enjoy sunshine and special desserts. But above all we worshipped, full of
true joy and admiration for a God who never gives up on the Grinches of the
world.

2 comments:

Yay! So glad that church helped change your attitude! Leading up to Easter I was just kind of "meh" -- I haven't been home for Easter since before college, and idk.. I didn't have concrete feelings about it either way. But then IN church it was just such a joyful experience. And when you think about it, Easter/every Sunday is what Christ commanded us to celebrate, because it signifies his power over death. Such a crazy and amazing thought! Anyway... just saying. I miss you!

I haven't been home for a while for Easter either I suppose, but I did celebrate with Mitch's family, so there was always family around. It's just part of the whole transition! But yes, it was an awesome reminder of how much joy there is to celebrate, plus it really helped me keep things in perspective!