Tag Info

I should note that if someone adds JUST him and gets these emails. Much like he set up the "Bob" account. They would only receive emails about friends on HIS account. Since he'd be their only friend it would be rather obvious wouldn't it? I'd say it's a problem with facebook's privacy for sure.

In fairness, I don't think that Facebook is revealing that these are your friends. You happen to know that they are friends with you, but no one else getting that email will know that the people being suggested to them are your friends.
The only way someone could know that for sure was if you were there one and only friend on Facebook. If that is the case ...

If you like the Stack Exchange network you might find one of the "clones" a good way to go. One advantage is you can self-host and probably customize the app a little more. See this meta SO question for some options.

I'd suggest Trello.
I think you have to move voted cards to the to of the lists manually.
Privacy, you can invite who you want
Voting built in, but up votes only, and not anonymous
No nesting, I.e. threading of comments, they just appear as a list on thee card.
It's pretty slick, free, fast and well worth a look.