This is a great song, and maybe half of a great video. The video, which was directed by Brian Grant and released in 1984, has a fun premise and a cool look… but, yeesh, it’s riddled with mortifying, cringe-inducing, cheeseball moments that almost bring the whole production -- nay, the whole Duran Duran empire -- to its knees.

Watching the video for Duran Duran’s “Union of the Snake” is like coming into the middle of some obscure science-fiction film, where you have no earthly idea who the characters are or what they’re supposed to be doing, or even whether the film is any damn good. Still, you keep watching, because the images are intriguing enough to hold your attention, even as the cogs in your brain spin in vain, trying to make coherent sense of it all and coming up with… I don’t know, marshmallow fluff.

The video for “(Waiting for the) Night Boat” came out in 1982. I just saw it for the first time yesterday. How did this slip beneath my radar for so long? How did I go twenty-nine years not knowing there was a video in which the Duran Duran boys get their pretty asses handed to them by a horde of zombies?

As with so many of Duran Duran’s best videos, “Night Boat” was directed by Russell Mulcahy. It was shot in Antigua simultaneously with their much-celebrated “Rio” video; “Rio,” of course, became a breakout smash hit (and was recently voted The Greatest Music Video Ever by viewers of MTV UK) and kicked the Duran Duran international phenomenon into the highest possible gear, whereas “Night Boat” slipped through the cracks. I won’t say a word against “Rio” -- it’s a bright, splashy, joyous video, and it boosts my spirits every time I see it -- but really, folks, which would you rather see: Duran Duran cavorting on a yacht while co…

Television has been sheer crap lately. I’m sick of recaps. Let’s do something different, shall we?

Specifically, let’s do some Duran Duran. I’m going to start reviewing vintage Duran Duran music videos from the early 1980s. I could come up with reasons -- their shiny new album is about to be released in the US, they’re on tour here right now, my dear friend Morgan Dodge recently gave me a copy of Andy Taylor’s memoir, which has sparked a weird Duranny renaissance in me -- but mostly it’s because I like Duran Duran, I like their videos, I’m feeling nostalgic for a certain lost period in time, and I need a change of pace on this site.

I don’t see any benefit to working through their video history chronologically, so this will be haphazard and piecemeal, with reviews getting posted whenever I feel like doing them, drawn from random points in the band’s career. First up is “The Wild Boys,” because it’s a damn fine song and a damn fine video.

Keywords! More keywords! If you’ve got a blog or website, do yourself a favor and install Google Analytics on it. You’ll learn all kinds of fascinating things about your site traffic. Last week, I had a visitor from NASA who found my site after Googling “piano tune criminal minds coda.” Over the past month, some discerning stranger in Houston dropped by here 133 times (hi, Houston!). I also had visitors from every U.S. state last month, except for Wyoming. What gives, Wyoming?

Anyway, here are some of the search terms visitors used to find this site in the past thirty days:

Fix yourselves drinks and get comfortable, folks. This is going to be a long (and extra-ranty!) one.

As a ginormous storm approaches the DC area and threatens a full-scale regional shutdown, two local families are found dead under suspicious circumstances. At one crime scene, the father apparently murdered his wife and young son before setting fire to the house and shooting himself, while at the other, a mysterious gas explosion killed a married couple. Both families, we see, were actually murdered by Prentiss’s nemesis Ian Doyle and his sinister squad of mask-wearing Irish henchmen.

Meanwhile, a jittery and deeply spooked Prentiss meets with her Interpol cohorts Clyde and Tsia on a subway train and tells them about her meeting with Doyle. Tsia urges Prentiss to bring the rest of the BAU in on the case, but Prentiss shoots down the idea. Of course, in the very last episode, Tsia was adamantly opposed to involving the BAU when Prentiss suggested it, but internal consistency is not…

Writer. Publisher and owner of Luft Books. An Angeleno adrift in New York City, I've got a BFA in screenwriting from USC's film school, a fiendish love of pop culture, and a Duran Duran lyric for every occasion. Reach me on Twitter or at me_richter(at)yahoo(dot)com.

ACTIVE POSTS

I haven't written one of these in a few years, so some explanation might be in order before diving in. Despite the flippant title, the Strange Sick Sad Career mantle is bestowed only upon actors I genuinely like, such as Jonny Lee Miller and Michael Rosenbaum and Ioan Gruffudd… and, now, Thomas Gibson, who is freaking amazing in his role as ultra-grim FBI unit chief Aaron Hotchner on the CBS crime procedural Criminal Minds. How amazing? Consider this: I voted for Gibson with a clear conscience when he went head-to-head against Fringe's magnificent John Noble in Entertainment Weekly's Under-Appreciated Entertainer of 2010 poll, an honor Gibson went on to win.

So… what’s strange or sick or sad about Gibson’s career? Fair question. After all, he’s spent thirteen of the past sixteen years starring in well-received prime-time network television shows (three seasons on Chicago Hope, five on Dharma and Greg, and he’s presently well into his sixth on Criminal Minds), which …

No U.N.C.L.E. recap this week due to a combination of an overpacked agenda and general inertia, but have no fear:

a) I'll post a new recap early next week, and:
b) it's just going to be that stupid third-season episode where Illya dresses up as the Abominable Snowman for absolutely no good reason, so you're not missing all that much.

This is the backdoor pilot for the short-lived spinoff series, The Girl From U.N.C.L.E., and man oh man, it is terrible.

Illya, dressed in a fancy ruffled tuxedo, poses as an advertising executive and loiters around a swanky party for Caresse Cosmetics, which is in the process of choosing Miss Moonglow, the new face of the company. The party is teeming with pretty ladies; Caresse’s cofounder, Jean Caresse (Mary Carver, the mom from Simon & Simon), asks Illya for his opinion as to which one should represent her company. “Personally, I would prefer a woman of accomplishment,” Illya says. This bit of straightforward common sense alarms Jean, who is a seasoned THRUSH agent. Jumping into action, she grabs a henchwoman and alerts her to her suspicions that a cute blond U.N.C.L.E. agent has crashed their party. Illya snoops around and ends up captured by Jean’s evil brother, Arthur (Kevin McCarthy).