Posts Tagged ‘paper’

WOODBURG – A community college instructor has confessed to eating the homework of an overachieving student and later blaming it on the student’s family dog.

James Smith, a professor of general studies at Woodburg Community College, has been placed on administrative leave pending an investigation.

“That dirty beast ate my midterm take-home final,” said Zach Dellman, 18, a first year student who claims Mr. Smith consumed a four page essay he wrote on the life and times of Eleanor Roosevelt.

Mr. Dellman claims that Mr. Smith ate his paper to prove a point. “I told him, ‘I’m going to ace this exam,’ and he said, ‘Oh really?'”, Mr. Dellman recalled. When the graded papers came back a week later, Mr. Dellman said he noticed his paper was missing.

When Mr. Dellman confronted his instructor about the missing paper, he was told that Mr. Dellman’s family dog had visited Mr. Smith the previous night and ate it. “I don’t own a dog. This man is not only a human shredder, but also a liar,” Mr. Dellman concluded.

In an email message to the Daily Debacle, Mr. Smith said he agreed with Mr. Dellman’s version of the story and said he was glad he ate the paper. “I hope he learned that it isn’t polite to boast about future events. I am willing to destroy his academic career to make him a better person,” Mr. Smith wrote.