Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

You remind me of my boyfriend, OP... He was outisde with the dogs so I asked him to wipe his shoes off incase he stepped in shit. Does he wipe them on the outdoor mat? Nope. He walks into the house and wipes them on the carpet -.- That's my FML

BLT: Mix five pounds of bananas with a cup of lasagna and tacos and put the cuncoction into a flatbread that will need to be heated in a microwave for approximately fifteen half an hour... You're welcome, OP!