Fact: Van Halen’s ‘Ain’t Talkin’ ’Bout Love’ Is The Most Important Song In The World

I don’t want to give too much of last night’s South Park away, but it did prove something I’ve known for years: Van Halen‘s “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love” is the key to world peace. The single from the band’s first album, which is so good even the New England Patriots can’t ruin it, has the power to bring together Christians, Jews, and Muslims, who can all appreciate David Lee Roth’s “semi-good looking” howls and Eddie Van Halen’s soaring solos.

Meanwhile, there Sammy Hagar sits, all alone, plotting World War III, hugging his copy of OU812 tight.

When I was young, I thought the Hagar-led Van Halen was great and that the DLR Van Halen was old and dumb. Now that I’m old, I crank the Van Halen with DLR and Hagar’s stuff just sits there collecting dust.

Truer words have never been spoken. I saw the Hagar-led Van Halen a few times live, and I thought it was great. Then I saw the Diamond Dave led version last year, and HOLY SHIT, I realized that error of my ways.

You got lucky Jason. I’m a fan of the DLR Van Halen too, but I saw them in concert last year and it wasn’t good. DLR forgot the words to many of the old songs and/or just made up some random shit to sing along with the music; the best comparison I had for the way he was on stage that night was kind of late career Sinatra, both the real one and the Joe Piscopo parody.

that was probably the crux of comedic value for me in this episode. the Cartman/Kyle interplay was funny, but the amount of time we had to hear the declaration of love for Cartman’s farts in Kyle’s mouth made me uncomfortable.

The first concert I ever saw was Van Halen 1984 and I was 13. So bitchen. Then the news of the break up and Hagar came along and I cried with my friends in the garage. i’ll never forget it. it was like my where were u when the space shuttle blew up (front yard playing baseball) or when Lennon was killed (driving with my mom on the way home from bowling, she pulled over and cried). I did see Van Hagar on each tour but it wasn’t the same. The Hagar years had some good songs but not complete albums like the roth years. I hardly recall the Hagar songs but the Roth songs I know every word and every yelp and scream by heart