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About Us

A secret society dedicated to the restoration of the Kingdom of Poland-Lithuania, the imprisonment of Esperanto speakers, and furthering the eschatological doctrine of the Return from Occultation of the Thirteenth Imam, Val Kilmer. Seriously, what happened to that guy? He was awesome in Tombstone.

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Gormogonicon MMX: First Look

Thanks readers. As you know from the blowing of the shofar Monday at sunset, another Gormogonicon has ended. And MMX was one to remember. In addition to the usual celebrities, living and dead, who attended, we decided on only one, single entertainment package this year: military hardware, blowing the shit out of stuff.

Here of course is your Czar, where we are enjoying the opening act—the fifteen-thousand foot parapet of fire. We can tell you, that when we screamed “Let the festivities commence,” the explosion that followed left not a dry eye.

And suddenly, roaring through the smoke, an F-4 Phantom spelling out our logo in unusually precise smoke placement. These guys are freaking loud.

Wow. Now imagine the rest of the day. Here is your mystery Phantom pilot on the tarmac. Yep! It is the Inscrutable Mandarin himself!

Attendees are promising to send in more photos. One the Czar is eager to see was the formation of F-22s (largest in history). Your Czar was, well, unable to take a picture himself at the moment because he dropped his freaking camera into the lasagna. By the time Dat Ho fetched another one, the flyby was over.

About The Czar of Muscovy

Божію Поспѣшествующею Милостію Мы, Дима Грозный Императоръ и Самодержецъ Всероссiйскiй, цѣсарь Московскiй.The Czar was born in the steppes of Russia in 1267, and was cheated out of total control of all Russia by upon the death of Boris Mikhailovich, who replaced Alexander Yaroslav Nevsky in 1263. However, in 1283, our Czar was passed over due to a clerical error and the rule of all Russia went to his second cousin Daniil (Даниил Александрович), whom Czar still resents. As a half-hearted apology, the Czar was awarded control over Muscovy, inconveniently located 5,000 miles away just outside Chicago.He now spends his time seething about this and writing about other stuff that bothers him.