Back when I was maybe 11 years old, my old man had left his job with American Airlines, ushering in the Bologna Years while he started his own business. I remember riding in the car one day when he asked the kids what he should call the new company, which was going to sell retread airplane tires.

How about Honest John’s, I piped up. Remarkably, he ignored my fine suggestion and went with Adroit Industries.

I was reminded of that episode when I saw this quarter-page ad in today’s Boston Herald.

At the website, what could not possibly be New England’s Favorite Coffee is described thusly:

Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Ain’t Sayin’) is unquestionably a political force on the national scene. But now she’s a comic book “Force” as well, although that means very different things in today’s Boston dailies.

As one of the Boston Herald’s 17 home subscribers, the hardreading staff has been waiting patiently for the feisty local tabloid to crow about its successful delivery of the paper while the Boston Globe’s home delivery has gone Chernobyl.

As WGBH’s Unsinkable Emily Rooney (and our former partner in airtime) has written, “The Boston Herald has disgracefully reneged it’s [sic] journalistic duty to report this story for one simple reason, The Globe butters the Herald’s bread by being its printer.”

Then again, as Globe reporter Maria Cramer said on WBUR’s Radio Boston yesterday, the Herald has never been shy before about smacking the Globe around.

P.S. Oh, yeah – the Globe failed to deliver today’s paper to the hardlyreading staff (we’re now 4-for-9 in the Big Meltdown). And the “delivery delay” list is currently at 113. Burt here’s the funny thing: Globe CEO went on WGBH’s Greater Boston last night and said the really serious delivery problems are in Newton and Pembroke. Except . . . Pembroke isn’t even on the list today. Geez – these people can screw up a screw up.

Boch Trump-ets upcoming fundraiser

Car czar Ernie Boch Jr. said the guest list for his Aug. 28 private fundraiser for Donald Trump now tops 700 and his office has fielded hundreds of calls from fans of the White House wannabe who want in.

“People are calling me who I haven’t talked to in 30 years!” Boch told the Track. “This thing is more popular than I ever imagined — and it’s pretty bipartisan. This is not a Republican gathering by any stretch of the imagination.”

Boch said he’s even heard from a handful of Democratic officials who want to come to the event but who can’t, for obvious reasons, write a check to the GOP presidential hopeful.

“That’s why were doing cash or check at the door,” he said.

Ha!

For your money you’ll get “cocktails, live music by rock cover band Fortune, a live broadcast by Herald columnist/radio yakker Howie Carr and food by chef Tony Ambrose.”

Carr’s presence in helping raise money for the bloated billionaire makes perfect sense since he’s a total Trump groupie, with today’s column Exhibit Umpteen. Of course, Carr long ago surrendered his press credentials in favor of GOP fundraising, as the redoubtable Dan Kennedy has noted several times.

Plans for bike lanes cheer cyclists

City to install protected paths along Commonwealth Avenue

The city of Boston will install protected bike lanes on a stretch of Commonwealth Avenue, a victory for biking advocates who have pushed for the city to make it safer to cycle down the bustling thoroughfare.

City officials announced on Tuesday their plans to replace existing bike lanes with protected bike lanes — known as cycle tracks — from the Boston University Bridge to Packard’s Corner. The lanes will be about two-thirds of a mile and use parked cars as a barrier between cyclists and vehicle traffic, a move meant to cut down on accidents that have become common along the heavily used road.

The decision to install the protected bike lanes represents a turnaround for the administration of Mayor Martin J. Walsh, and could pave the way for more protected bike lanes in the city.

The stately local broadsheet also provides this handy graphic for the $17 million project:

Surprisingly, Nicole Dungca’s piece has nary a discouraging word about the impact of the new streetscape on drivers or local merchants.

But wait . . .

Crosstown at the footy local tabloid (where the only legitimate modes of transportation are driving and walking), the street reconfiguration is seen as a naked lane grab, not to mention a parking disaster. From the Boston Herald piece by Richard Weir and Marie Szaniszlo:

Bike lane plan draws ire

‘Outrageous’ loss of parking $$

At-large City Councilor Michael Flaherty, irate over what he called an “outrageous” plan to eliminate 73 parking spaces, plus an outbound traffic lane, to make way for a special “cycle track” for bike riders on a stretch of Commonwealth Avenue in Brighton, said he plans to grill the city transportation officials who proposed it.

“At a time when we just overspent tens of millions on snow removal and the administration is talking about the need to close five schools, someone comes up with the idea to remove 73 parking meters from the streets of Boston, meters that could generate up to $341,000 a year,” said Flaherty, who intends to call a public hearing. “I want to know who did that cost-benefit analysis and what other streets in Boston are they looking at?”

According to Herald columnist Howie Carrtoon, all of them: “They’re going to advance west, in search of new territory to annex, first in the direction of Harvard Street and on up Brighton Ave. It’ll be great for all those little barrooms and bodegas, once nobody can park within three blocks of them.” Yeah, Howie’s always looking after the little guys so they have enough dough to buy his cut ‘n’ paste books.

(Not to get technical about it but the Globe piece reports that “officials will begin construction in the spring on 4 miles of protected bike lanes in the heart of downtown.”)

So, to recap: The Globe piece mentions nothing about lost parking spots and opposition to the plan. The Herald piece mentions little else.

(To be fair graf goes here.)

To be fair, the Herald piece says that at a public meeting last night ”attended by a largely pro-bike crowd of more than 200, speakers were overwhelmingly in favor of the proposed tracks.”

Let hack Games begin at St. Pat’s feed

Will Boston 2024 set up a booth at Halitosis Hall on Sunday morning so that all the hacks can fill out their applications for gainful unemployment at the next Big Dig?

The St. Patrick’s Day breakfast — what better place to recruit yet more indolent dolts and layabouts who need no-heavy-lifting jobs (as opposed to work)?

Come Sunday, John Fish, the unelected pooh-bah of this fiasco, can personally greet the payroll charlies as they stumble into the BCEC.

If you “work” at the MBTA, boys, no need to fill out any of these intrusive forms. Your bona fides are in order. Have you lads been to visit your Uncle Whitey lately?

You can probably fill in the rest of the hacky local tabloid rant. Of course if you want some facts about the Boston 2024 payroll patriots, you’ll have to look elsewhere. The hardreading staff recommends Adam Vaccaro’s piece at Boston.com that compares local Olympic spending to previous bids by Chicago and New York. The numbers are very instructive. Not to get technical about it.