Follow Me

New at SPANTENNA

Find Your Story

JR’s Control Playset Setting: An early morning at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell Smart. Both Smarts were upstairs getting ready for work, but downstairs, there was someone in black lurking. The man went over to the stairs and started to speak into his watch. Agent: Caufman here. I am now at […]

JR’s Control Playset

Setting: An early morning at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell Smart. Both Smarts were upstairs getting ready for work, but downstairs, there was someone in black lurking. The man went over to the stairs and started to speak into his watch.

Agent: Caufman here. I am now at the staircase. [pause] No, they’re both upstairs. [pause][looking around at the living room] Well, there’s a couch, a couple of plants…what? Alright, the plant. Are you sure this will work? Yes, I know but…alright. Only if you’re sure.

The agent looked up towards the stairs to see if anyone was coming down. Making sure no one was, the man made his way over to one of the plants in the living room. He picked up the plant and then placed a small device on the roots of the plant and placed it back into its pot.

Meanwhile, at the apartment of Zachary Smart, another agent was climbing through the window. Zach was at the bar, making one of his power shakes. The agent quickly and quietly went over to the table behind the sofa and placed a small device underneath. He then cautiously went past Zach again and out the window.

Zach looked up and started looking around the apartment and noticed the window was opened. He walked over and closed the window, then went back to his shake.

Down the hall, in the apartment of Maxine Smart and her roommate, Agent 66, the same scenario was happening. Both women were in the kitchen talking about the latest in spy wear, as an agent went through the window, placed another one of those small devices somewhere on the couch and another one on the stairs.

He then went back out through the window. Across the street from the apartment house, sat a black sedan with tinted windows. From inside, we see someone on a phone. We don’t see his face, but we know it’s a bad guy.

Agent: Tell the commander that the first phase operation CONTROL Playset has just been completed.

THE NEW OPENING CREDITS FOR GET SMART!!

Setting: The office of Chief Maxwell Smart in the CONTROL organization’s building. Max stood at his desk, while his son Zachary was shaving in a mirror hanging on the wall.

Zach: It was sure nice of you to let me shave while I was at work, Dad. I would’ve been late for sure.

Max: It’s alright. It was important you get here on time.

Zach: Right. Oh, and by the way, Pop. I like your mustache.

Max: [smiling] Oh do you?

Zach: Yeah, it’s real cute.

Max: It’s not cute, Zachary. It’s distinguished.

Zach: Well, it’s that too.

From the secret entrance to the lab, Agent 66 walks through the door with a piece of paper in her hand.

Max: [annoyed] For the last time, it is not cute! It’s distinguished and refined and dignified.

Maxine: Well, it’s all that too.

Zach: [fixing hair in mirror] [to Maxine] You didn’t happen to see Mom in the lobby, did you, Sis?

Maxine: No, but she did call. Said to go on without her.

Max: Alright. Zach, are you finished?

Zach: [sitting] Yeah, Pop, I’m done.

Max: Okay, the reason I wanted you guys in here so early was because this is an urgent meeting about KAOS.

Zach: What’re they up to now? Hijacking? Counterfeiting? Larceny?

Max: Nothing.

Zach: Excuse me?

Max: Nothing. KAOS isn’t doing any of those things. They haven’t done a thing! That’s why I’m so worried. What if they’re up to something? What if it’s another strike? All this quiet’s making me nervous and it’s making the heads of state nervous as well. That’s what Parker’s doing downstairs. He’s checking anything suspicious that’s happened in the last week.

Maxine: And?

Max: Well, there was a bank robbery, a small pirating of the airwaves, and a peeping tom, but nothing from KAOS.

99 soon enters through the automatic door.

Max: You found something?

99: Well, it depends on your description of “something”. I found out that KAOS has been up to something. What, I’m not sure. By the way, have I told you how nice you look with a mustache?

Maxine: [smiling] Doesn’t it though? We like it.

99: So do I. I think it’s cute.

Max: [to 99] Really? You’re not just saying that?

Zach: Dad, we told you all morning how cute your mustache was and you said it wasn’t cute.

Max: Yes, but it’s different when your mother says it.

66: So, basically, we’re stuck? I mean, how do we proceed if KAOS is up to something? We can’t just stop every KAOS agent and ask.

Zach: Why not?

Max: The importance, gang, is discover what fiendish plan KAOS has in store. I wish we knew what they were doing.

Siegfried: What are you doing?

The scene goes to KAOS headquarters, where Conrad Siegfried, Jr. sits at a table with a board game on it. His father, the Great Siegfried, looks at him in disappointment and anger.

Siegfried: Conrad, you know the rules. This is KAOS. We don’t play board games here!

Junior: It’s not what you think, Dad. This happens to be my new plan for getting rid of the Smarts and CONTROL.

Siegfried: By sitting here playing Monopoly?

Junior: If you just give me a minute to explain. This morning, I had small electronic devices placed into the homes of each member of Team Smart. This board game activates the electronic chips.

Siegfried: And what does this do?

Junior: Basically, I control, no pun intended, the minds of who ever is in the room with the device. By sending out hypnotic waves to each member, I can make them say or do anything I command. I call it…the CONTROL Playset. And up to four people can play.

Siegfried: Conrad, I must say this invention is extraordinary. But tell me two things. First, does it work?

Junior: We’ll know when the members get home.

Siegfried: Good. KAOS has wanted to get rid of Maxwell Smart for years! Make me proud, Conrad, and uphold the tradition of evil and nastiness. Kill Smart.

Junior: Don’t worry, Dad. It’s all taken care of. If this works out the way it should, Team Smart will kill each other and nothing will be traced back to KAOS.

Siegfried: Excellent.

Junior: And the second question?

Siegfried: The what?

Junior: The second question. You wanted to know two things.

Siegfried: yes. Conrad, I’m sure a lot of time and effort went into this little machine of yours, but remember! As a fraction of KAOS, we’re all rationed a small amount of money, that’s why we lie, cheat, and steal. Not for fun like we usually do.

Junior: Dad, as head of KAOS, I take extreme precautions before spending money around. Besides, a bank was robbed. Not only for the money, but to fill our bank robbing quota.

Siegfried: Good. Just remember, the annual KAOS officer’s dance is next month. The boys and girls have been working hard and they deserve something special this year.

Scene change back to CONTROL headquarters and Max’s office. The gang had been there for over an hour, checking and re-checking possible KAOS plans.

Zach: [lying on couch] I got it. [sitting up] I got it!

66: What?

Zach: I know what KAOS is up to! Remember a while back when KAOS captured all those scientists and held them for ransom?

Max: Yeah.

Zach: Well, what if they didn’t give one back? What if they’re using him to do their bidding? [getting more excited] And what if they brainwashed him and then he started doing all these experiments? First on goldfish, then hamsters, then innocent little puppies, then he’d make the experiments on people and then…

Max: Zach!

Zach: Wait a minute, Dad. I’m trying to tell you what KAOS is up to. Hey, wait a minute. What if this all ties in with KAOS trying to blow up the moon? What if they blow it up and then we won’t have a moon, encasing us in total darkness and then leaving us at the mercy of really bad things that go bump in the night. [totally excited. Hyper excited] Then KAOS would rule the world and then terrible stuff would happen like famine and pestilence, and locust and…

Everyone: Zach!

Max: Zachary, that scenario will never happen.

Zach: It won’t?

Max: No.

Zach: Are you sure about that? Haven’t you all noticed the moon looks a little peeked?

Maxine: [annoyed] Zachary, lay back down. I think all the blood rushed to your head when you got up. [Zach sits back down]

Max: [thinking] Hey, I got it!

Everyone: What?

Max: [about to say something] I forgot it. [everyone groans] Well, gang, I guess there’s no point in staying here, is there? We’re not doing anything, but hurting ourselves mentally. Why don’t we all go home?

Zach: Well, then what are we going to do at home?

Max: Just sit and wonder what KAOS is up to, I guess. But we can’t stay here. There’s no point. Why be here if we have nothing to do? We can do nothing at home.

Zach: I like that idea, Dad.

Max: What? The ponder about this at home?

Zach: No, the go home early and do nothing part. [smiles]

66: It’s good you have priorities, Zachary.

The gang goes home and try thinking about what KAOS could be up to. Zach was pacing the floor of his apartment when an idea hit him and quickly called Max at home.

99: Hello.

Zach: Mom! It’s Zach. Is Dad there?

99: Just a minute, Zach. [to Max] It’s your son.

Max: [taking phone] [to 99] My son? When did he become my son?

Zach: Well, I assume, Dad, when you became my father.

Max: What it is, Zach?

Zach: Dad, I was sitting here, pacing actually, in my tiny, too small to live apartment, when…

Max: What’s wrong with that apartment? That’s the best CONTROL could do, you know! We’re not made out of money.

Zach: Dad, that beside the point. I was pacing here in my cage of a living room when…

Max: Zach, if that’s not the point, why do you keep bringing it up? I told you, CONTROL is on a shoestring budget. You know, it wouldn’t hurt if you put some money in the CONTROL fund once in a while.

Zach: [annoyed] What’re you talking about? I called to tell you, I thought of something and you’re busy talking about my apartment!

Max: What did you think of, Zach? [sarcastically] Aliens associated with KAOS?

Zach: Funny. Very funny. No, I called to tell you I have an idea. Wanna hear it?

The scene changes back to KAOS headquarters, where Junior has gotten a couple of agents to help him play his game.

Junior: Okay, you all know the rules? [agents nod] Just to be sure, I’ll go over them again. Now, we each have two members of Team Smart, correct? [agents nod] Okay. At this time, each agent should be with a corresponding member, i.e. Mr. and Mrs. Smart. So…

Agent #1: Tell us again how this will work.

Junior: [annoyed] There are small hypnotic transmitters in each of their residences. We each control two members. Now matter which place the members are, they will do what we want them to. Understand?

Agent #2: We understand, Siegfried.

Junior: Okay. With a roll of the dice, Team Smart will no longer exist. [laughs]

*****COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

Setting: Zachary Smart’s apartment. Zach had been on the living room couch all day, trying to think of what KAOS could be up to and wasn’t having much success. He was just about to go turn the TV on when there was a knock at the door. He got up and went to the door.

Zach: [at door] Who is it?

66: It’s me, Zach.

Zach: Me, who?

66: Agent 66!

Zach: Are you sure?

66: I was when I got up this morning.

Zach: How do I know you’re the real Agent 66? What if you’re a man disguised as Agent 66, just so I’ll let you in and when I do you’ll kill me?

66: Zach, I assure you when I got up this morning, I was definitely a woman and I was definitely Agent 66.

Zach: Not good enough. I hope you’re prepared, sir, for an extensive test to prove you’re who you say are.

66: I wanted to know two things. First, I wanted to know if you’ve come up with any more ideas to why KAOS is lying so low and two…wanna see a movie?

Zach: No.

66: No to what? That you haven’t come up with any more ideas or you don’t want to see a movie?

Zach: No to both.

66: Good. Cause I don’t have any money to see a movie. [sitting on couch] I don’t get it, Zach. What is KAOS up to?

Zach: [heading for kitchen] Maybe they just faced facts and realized they can’t take over the world.

While Zach was kitchen, 66 sat on the couch and turned on the TV. At that moment, Junior and his henchmen are rolling the dice.

Agent 1: Hey! I got a seven!! Let’s see…[to Junior] So, I move my player to the place where I rolled?

Junior: Exactly. [starts counting] One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…[picks up piece] Well…looks like you get to kill someone. Who will it be?

Agent 1: Well, [looks at piece] this is supposed to be Zach Smart…so…I guess I’ll have him kill…his sister! Maxine Smart!

Junior got a microphone and started to talk.

Junior: Don’t try to scream or shout. There’s nothing you can do. You’re under my control.

In Zach’s apartment, Agent 66 was listening to what Junior was saying.

Junior: You’re going to take your gun and go to Maxine Smart’s apartment, wait for her, and then I want you to kill her.

66 sat and listened to Junior’s instructions, checked her gun for bullets, got up, and went over to the apartment she shared with Maxine. Zach stood in the kitchen making himself a sandwich. He heard the TV and figured 66 was out there watching something.

In Maxine’s apartment, 66 was putting the silencer on her gun and waited for Maxine. Maxine soon came in and surprised to see 66.

Maxine: Weren’t you going to the movies with Zach?

66 raised her gun and pointed at Maxine. She took a shot and Maxine drove behind the table and played dead. 66, sure she had killed Maxine, put her gun away and head back over to Zach’s.

After 66 left, Maxine got up and thought about what to do. She stood up and went to the phone. The phone rang at the Smart house, with Max picking up.

Maxine: Dad, this is really important. Agent 66 just tried to kill me!

Max: [pause] You know, Maxine, usually you and your brother are at odds with each other and what do I say? I say handle it yourselves, right? Well, sweetheart…I think you and Tracie should handle this yourselves.

Maxine: No, Dad, she really tried to kill me. She took a shot at me.

Max: Oh, well that’s different then. Where’d she go?

Maxine: I have no idea, but I just had a thought.

Max: What’s your thought?

Maxine: What if 66 wasn’t coming over here to kill me? What if she got in her head the idea that she should kill me?

Max: I don’t see what you’re getting at.

Maxine: What if she was hypnotized? What if that’s KAOS’s plan? Hypnotize us to kill each other?

Max: [pause] Maxine…you’re just as bad as your brother.

Maxine: Huh?

Max: Are you telling me, KAOS has a plan to hypnotize us into killing each other, thus riding them once and for all of our presence?

Maxine: [thinking] Is…is that what I’m saying?

Max: I don’t know. Is it?

Maxine: [thinking] Sure. Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. In any case, this is really weird.

Back at KAOS, it was Junior’s turn. He rolled and got a three. He moved his piece and looked at the board.

Junior: Let’s see…looks like I have to pull a card. [takes a card] hey…it’s a go to jail card.

Agent 2: A “go to jail” card? Like in Monopoly?

Junior: Sort of, but this card means I can send anyone to jail. And I think Mrs. Maxwell Smart is the kind of person who could make prison sunny and sweet. [smiles]

Agent 1: What’re you going to do?

Junior: I’m going to do what KAOS has tried to do for years. I’m going to kill Smart. Or rather…Congresswoman Smart is going to kill Maxwell Smart.

Back at the Smart house, Max was still on the phone with his daughter.

Max: Max, you’re just a little jumpy. This whole KAOS thing is driving us all nuts.

Maxine: Dad, I’m telling you, something is not right.

Downstairs, the same scene as before is being played out with 99.

Junior: You’re going to find your husband and kill him. Afterwards, you will call the police and tell them you’ve just murdered your husband.

Upstairs…

Maxine: Dad, I don’t think you realize what could be happening here.

Max: And Maxine I tell you, KAOS has much better plans than that. I mean the whole thing is so obvious, why would they even bother?

Right before 99 pulled the trigger, Max quickly moved out of the way. He got up from the floor and looked over the bed at his wife.

Max: [on phone] Maxine, I think you might have something on this KAOS plot.

*****COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

Setting: The home of Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell Smart. Upstairs in their bedroom, 99 held a gun on her husband, who was hiding behind the other side of the bed, talking to their daughter Maxine on the phone.

Junior: I understand your concern. Smart is incredibly intelligent…despite his idiocy. That’s the problem with KAOS now. They give him little credit for figuring out our plans. Half the time, he does it by accident or by a simple guess.

Junior: That’s why it’s important we come up with plans that are so hard and confusing, Smart and his team will have no clue as to what’s going on. You think it was a coincidence that we stopped all activity while I worked on this game? Mystified them! What’s KAOS doing? Is it another strike? That’s what they said.

Agent 1: And all the while, we’re sitting and waiting for them to lose their guard…and WHAM! We sneak up behind them and have them killed.

Junior: And the best part, gentlemen, is that no matter what they find, there will be no evidence traced back to us. I’ve got someone now going to retrieve the devices from the homes now. [phone rings] [answers] Commander Siegfried’s office. [pause] Ah, Agent Kiev! How’s…[pause] What? [pause] What? [getting angrier] WHAT? [hangs up]

Agent 1: [to A2] Siegfried seems to be upset.

Agent 2: Know what? I bet it’s something bad. [A1 looks at him]

Junior: That was Kiev. He went to go retrieve the devices from the apartment complex…the one in Zach Smart’s apartment is gone and there’s no sign of anyone…dead or living.

Just then, the intercom in Junior’s office went off.

Agent: Commander Siegfried, a car’s been spotted outside. It’s Maxwell Smart and three other agents.

Junior: WHAT?! [calms down] Okay, let’s not panic. Send some men down and…have them greet our guests. [to two agents] Start clearing out. Get everything and move it over to the other office.

Agent 2: Which office?

Junior: Surprise me. Just pick one and make sure you’re not followed. Go.

Agent 1: What’re you going to do?

Junior: I’m going to greet out guests. [pulls out gun] And make sure I’m the victor of our little game.

*****COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

Setting: KAOS headquarters. Max, Zach, Maxine, and Agent 66 were walking through the building, looking for any sign of KAOS agents…or Junior.

Zach: So Maxine, tell me again about this idea of yours.

Maxine: Look…Junior plants hypnotic devices in our apartments, then he gets on a mic and tells us what to do. Ultimately, if he had his way, we would’ve killed each other and nothing would get traced to KAOS. I figure after we were dead, he’d have someone go in and remove the devices.

Zach: That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.

66: Oh, and your “KAOS is going to blow up the moon” idea was much more plausible?

Maxine: Look, it’s just the way a woman’s mind works. I don’t know how I got the idea, but I have it and I say it’s a fairly good idea.

Zach: And I say you’re on crack.

Max: Will you guys be quiet? We’re trying to use an element of surprise.

Just then, the dark hallway became bright, as fifteen KAOS agents surrounded them.

Zach: Well, you certainly ruined a nice surprise!

Agent: [in walkie-talkie] We have them, Siegfried.

Junior: [through WT] Good. Bring them to my office.

A short time later, the four found themselves in Junior’s office.

Junior: [to Max] Smart? Hmm, I hardly recognized you with that mustache.

Max: No word on Junior. We did find out that KAOS has moved into a new building in the city.

Zach: Well, which one? We can go raid it and get KAOS off guard.

Max: That’s easier said than done, Zach. KAOS has at least fifty different headquarters…we only know of five and we checked those.

Zach: Well, as long as Junior isn’t playing little games anymore. [walks over to Control Playset] Can you believe it? With this little board game, we could’ve all been wiped out. [picking up dice] By just a simple toss of fate, [tosses dice. Gets a four] a movement of a little pawn, [moves pawn four spaces] and a decision was made.

66: What’s it say?

Zach: [looks at board] Wild card. That means, I could stand here, pick up this mic and say…Dr. Parker, I want you to go and kill Agent 22. [puts mic down] And that’s it. I’ve just created a killing machine.

Max: [thinking] Speaking of Dr. Parker, someone did go over to his place and remove the hypnotic device, right?

Max looked at 66, who looked at Zach, who looked at 66, and then at Max. He then realized what he had just done.

Zach: [quickly leaving] If you see 22, tell him I’m really sorry! And I’ll pay for the flowers!