Support Change

Sunday, April 28, 2013

I remember being a kid and wanting things. On time, it is a vague memory now, but I was out with my mom and or dad and we were in a store. I wanted something I saw and I ask if I can have it and my mom said no. I think it was a toy, something I saw on the way out of the store. I remember being angry that they said no. I did not understand why they would say no. This kept happening were, I would want something and sometimes they would say no and sometime they would say yes. At that time I had no idea about money. I did not know that what I did received came from money. I mean this meant from food, cloths, objects and even going some where (because you needed gas.) The reason I would get angry when they said no – was the fact that I just simply thought that they did not like me. I was feeling like what am I doing wrong that they want to punish me? I didn’t understand. They finally one day I asked my mom why I could not having something. Not sure what it was now, but I remember saying that one of my friends has it. I think it was Cynthia, she would get nice new things, new cloths, new bedroom sets and stuff and I never did. First mom would say cause I said so – but I kept pushing by asking why. Then she finally said we don’t have the money. And I still said why? Why do others have the money and we don’t? Then she explained that my dad had a job that only gave him so much money. And others had jobs that paid more money. She showed me a little math, like here you have so many apples and this cost that many apples, if you don’t have that many apples you can get it. I was like OH! Okay. I see.

The bizarre thing about this – was that, here all along I thought they did not like me, so this was a relief to know that it was because my dad was not making enough money to get us certain things and that I was denied something just because he didn’t have enough money.

So I want to start to work right away. I wanted to do things for money. I started ironing my moms friends cloths and doing light house work for them when I was young, then as I got older I started to baby sit and I also got a job at a near by small deli shop, so I could get a few dollars and save them to buy some of the things I wanted. I ended up working from age 13 while going to school to now.

I actually thought it was cool to work so I could get things. But as I got older, I started to see now the fear with this – because now – the ones who pay you have the power. Meaning they can fire you, you may not get a job because there are none, and the fear is if you cant pay for your rent, you cant live and if you don’t have a place – you cant get a job. This never happened to me – I always found something, or friends to help out while in transition. And I never had kids to worry about. At a young age I could see that I did not want to bring kids into this world. There were already so many kids who were orphans and suffering. I thought why we are not taking care of these kids first, before we have our own. I mean this seemed to be common sense – but the world/humans does not see it that way. It was so important to have a child from your own body – that seemed to make it more special… I don’t know why really. There is no why that makes sense.

Now we have half the world in poverty and we are still having kids – not taking care of what is already here. It is like we are baby machines without any consideration for what that means. We are popping out kids and teaching them to become consumer slaves to feed the elite. We are all humans – we should be taking care of what is here, not just making more of a mess by not questioning things. The craziest thing – is that there are solutions, there is away to make things right. Why do humans fight against it? There is a way where all that are born can have a dignified life. It is an Equal Money system. We all want for our kids to have the best. So why not insure it. Why not insure that ALL CHILDREN get the best?

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love…And then we return home

I hear a lot of channels and so called enlighten teachers who has supposedly woken up when they realized that their thoughts are causing suffering for themselves – Like Tolle, Byron Katie, Abraham Hicks, I use to listen to them for years. I realized that I found these sayings and speakers because I wanted to be happy – I wanted the world to be happy – I could not understand why we were they way we are towards each other. I actually thought by the time I got to my age now which is 60, that war would be over – that we/us the human race figured out a way to be kind to each other. But that didn’t happen – it is getting worse…

And then there are the saying of “Reconnections” you are not from here kind of thing – or you are here to “play” so have fun. We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love…And then we return home

Same twist – different words, like for example Bashar focuses on “feeling good”, I mean I listened to all of them. Ramtha – you create your reality – well this is a truth – but one point is missing, Ramtha teaches to “manifest” things – to prove we can create what ever we want – then he says to build undergrounds to hide in to protect yourself ( I mean shouldn’t we be creating a world where we don’t have to do that?) – He has some good points – talks about how we are addicted to emotions. But again he is only teaching to make your own personal reality a “Beautiful Life. If we are manifesters why not teach to create a better world for everyone - to become stewards of the plant, to work together and make a different – get out of the me, me, me – I want – I want – I want – I mean this separation –
Like for example – instead of manifesting for myself and family only – what about manifesting a world where no one is suffering and all treat each other with kindness and consideration for life? Then we would not need to manifest things because ALL would have accesses to all that is here.

Take A Look ...item 1.. Bibi Rejects the New York Times -- The Times consistently ignores the steps Israel has taken to advance peace (December 19, 2011 / 23 Kislev 5772) ... (Photo credit: marsmet543)

But when anyone asks them why there is suffering and abuse in the world. For example half of humanity is starving. They will say “How does that thought make you feel?” If it does not make you feel good – then it is your responsibility to not have those thoughts. And then what happens? Our fear gets even worse – now we fear negative thoughts and they will even compound because we are pushing against what is HERE. What we have allowed ourselves to become – they end up suppressed – and are working in the background of our mind – were we now fear to even look there.

It is amazing how this is actually making things worse – Why? Because we are not taking responsibility for ourselves and what we have accepted and allowed.

It is like a sore or something happening on the body – Cover it up so you don’t see it – and hope it goes away. Thing is it has to be investigated to see why it started in the first place. In other words – what is causing the disharmony? Well they are our thoughts – but to get to the cure is to SEE THEM – UNDERSTAND WHY THEY WERE CREATED and then COME UP WITH SOLUTIONS – Not to just, not think about them - They exist for a reason and that reason needs to be investigated. We created them and we need to see why and what the consequences are of those thoughts and actions.

So those people who ask Abraham, Bryon Katie, and Tolle -but what about the children that are starving and or working in slave labor camps for the rich – to make them richer. It is quite interesting – they really don’t answer that question – they turn it around to say “how does that feel to think about that?” !!! And then you are put on the spot and actually in a way reprimanded for “thinking negative.”

Well I tried their way – I did because I just did not understand why “God” would allow such abuse – so I thought this was the answer – for awhile – until I saw that nothing was changing and I kept looking, searching for why – only to find the same answers – and it just didn’t feel right – Well as long as I am happy – who cares about the rest of the world. That was horrible – I mean – I am happy – I got food, clothing and shelter, and half the world population is suffering, being killed by wars – Governments using and creating more and more sophisticated weapons – so they can kill others! Come on – something is WRONG HERE!

So bottom line – this is getting worse – because we ARE NOT LOOKING AT IT – As we are told by light workers not to do - So the negative is spinning out of control because that is what we have become – it is who we are – Negative

Take off the band aid – and look into the wound – it is festering to completely taking over and destroying the physical – because we are not taking care of it. We abuse the physical – we kill the very planet that supports us – we kill or suppress anyone that gets in the way of profit.
What ever the governments and world leader do – we are doing – Because we are the majority and we let this happen by not wanting to see it. Just looking out for our own happiness and not considering all of life.

Now I know for me – that I did not even see this – I was taught not to ask questions that can rock the boat – just stick to your life and make the best of it. You know – what can one person do kind of thing. Well I tried and I KNEW IN MY HEART I WAS LIVING A LIE. But I could not find anyone to admit it – maybe a few here and there – but we just would say – yea the world is fucked – but what can a person do about it. And I had my own problems to deal with – I had to work and make a living – I don’t have time to devote my life to make a change, best just to look out for yourself and try to be happy.
I mean aren’t we all “trying to be happy?” We pay people to tell us to be happy – something is seriously wrong with this, isn’t it?

Well it came to the point that I did not want to live anymore – I did not want to be on this planet with such abusive nature of humans. I mean I wanted to live – but how can one truly live when so many others are suffering? How can I be happy when my neighbor is not? I mean if we all thought positive would we all be happy then? I thought so – but then why were we not doing it? Why is it sooooo hard to think positive? – that there has to be classes, lectures, and inspirational meeting to think positive? Really if you think about – lol – why is it so hard? Because Negativity is the nature of who we have become – because we fear being the same and we want to be different – we want to have value – thus we create the negativity as I want Value instead to see already we are value. But seeing that ALL OF LIFE IS Value – we want for just ourselves – thus negativity is formed because we compare ourselves to others and life/animals nature ect – we feel that to have value we must control something – thus competition and separation became our nature. In truth value is just another polarity thought – None has more value than another – so that really mean value does not exist – But respecting Life does. It is a matter of consequences. Respect ALL Life, yours and everyone else and you respect yourself and deserve life.

So how do we fix this? We work together in consideration as to what is best and good for ALL. That’s it. Then the next argument against this is – But people wont change, so in essence why bother. And – that is what we have been taught – that people can’t change, so why bother. Do you see the word “TAUGHT” – What does that mean; Show or explain to (someone) how to do something. So if we were taught this – Someone told us this is what we do – We untaught ourselves – we can say I don’t want to live in a world like this any more and what can we do about it. I am not the creator of these solution, meaning I found a group of people who were investigation and sharing solutions that started to make sense and now I am a supporter of these solutions.

Because believe me your life will never be completely okay until all are okay. And you know this.

And one can say – but even this is a selfish reason to do something – yes it is – But by living life using common sense, it is a selfish act where the consequences will not be one of destruction and annihilation. It is not that it is wrong or right to be selfish - it is about seeing what type of consequences it will produce. Basically if we hurt another- we are hurting ourselfs - the consequences are now showing up in the out of control world events that will start to effect everyone.

If you want to be one of those that sees there is a problem – or seeing that how we are going about living our life’s now with blinders on, is only allowing the destruction and abuse to continue.
If you want to teach we can change, there is support – Desteni is teaching this – they are looking at the negative – not to be reprimanded for it – but see and understand it, so we can change - where all can have and enjoy a dignified life.

We can start by looking at and identifying what are the Basic Human Rights along with Equal Life Foundation and Equal Money Website .
And start to see and understand our own negativity and where that comes from,
read Heavens Journey To Life Blogs
There are is the Website and Forums where one can meet others who are starting the Journey to change and where you can get involved. http://desteni.org/

This really can get one to start thinking what one has done with their life while here on earth. For me I was pretty much unconscious, meaning I was just living the matrix slave program. Trying to survive, wanting to find my “soul mate”, wanting to win the lottery or make more money so I could be “free.” Yet there was a part of me that kept asking – “THERE HAS GOT TO BE MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS!” So while doing the survival stuff like working and tending to the necessities of life I read everything I could get my hands on for the past 35 yrs or so to find out what the fuck is going on in existence, to where everyone seemed to be asleep to the abuse and atrocities that are going on.

The news would tell of some of it, but never was there every a solution talked about. Or one that worked. It seemed like any real change that could benefit all of man kind was undermined. So what do you do? What can one or a few people do? I did not see results from protesting, well maybe for a moment something would change, then a bill would pass that messed up something else. It is unending the crap that we seem t to have to put up with. So I tried to find solace in, stuff like LOA, Advita, but to me it did not seem fair or right some how. By that I mean, I could stop my thoughts for a few moments, and be in this place in my mind where there was nothing, and I liked it, a break from the world, but then you open your eyes, or come back from meditation, and the world is still the same, Wars, corruption, child abuse. So what changed? Nothing.

The only “hope” I had was that maybe when you die, it will be sorted out – you will know why the world is like this, there will be an explanation of why we are such an abusive species. By the time I 50yrs old I had lost all respect for life here. Except for nature, as nature is very giving to us. Without nature there would be no reason to be here. But then you see how we as a species are destroying it, it seems the ones with the most money wins what happens to us and our planet. And they do not seem to care at all expect for more profit at the cost of life.

I am getting a bit off of topic and I see this post could also be called “How I heard the Desteni message.”
So with the comment of “change before You Die,” one would have to look honestly at who and what you are now. So I ask the question to myself, if you died right now what could you say about your life. Who were you, what did you do.
If I died right now, I could say I was at the tip of the ice burg to even start to grasp what change really means. But lets say I died before I started with Desteni. That would be before I understood what it meant to be self honest.

I use to say I was ego honest. Lol- that means I only knew and supported my ego, in that I would defend it. I would study who I was, say for example, by astrology or numerology and all that does is tell you what your program is – who you are as a programmed when you were born. And though this can have some bit of truth, I mean like we are born with certain personality types – I would just defend it/me and would not change. And if I died then I would have not changed at all – I would of just died as a program. Defending my program and I could say – I really did not do anything but follow the designed program. Now this designed program is so extensive that we do not even see how it affects every breath we take.
So what does it mean to change before you die? I will continue with this as I am going to listen to this series again.

This is interesting – I woke up flustered – like the saying “you got out the wrong side of the bed this morning.” This feeling seems to come up out of no where. I was becoming agitated while doing my morning things. I was thinking what is wrong? I caught myself trying to figure it out, but what I was really doing was accepting and allowing it. Then I remembered “YOU DECIDE” And I just stopped the feelings as words spoken in my mind– And I wrote a sign that says I DECIDE, and put it on the wall so I can see it to remind myself that I do not have to accepted and allow myself to be frustrated. This day is no different than the last couple of days, in fact some really cool things have been happening, so I am not sure where the frustration is coming from – but if I stop reacting to it – I can become stable here and take a look.

I think it is because I have some added projects I am starting, thus I get the feeling of being overwhelmed and frustrated – I think that is it. I don’t know why I am frustrated though – ah it is the feeling have lots to do, so I get frustrated. Well this is a familiar feeling that I have been seeing within myself lately. I have done plenty of SF on this point and after I wrote about it today to expose the pattern I just stopped the backchat.So I decided that I know where this backchat goes, which is nowhere just a spiral with no end lol, so I decided to stop and breathe, bring myself back to now as HERE and continue my day.

Friday, April 5, 2013

As shared in previous posts, when I saw what the consequences of this were: “That one will tend to have an 'apathy' towards life/living and Self-Motivation, like there will always be a heaviness within your mind/self and really difficult to initiate self movement / the will to live, cause all the energies are suppressed into the body and actually becomes a force that weighs you down mentally and physically.” I saw that OMG I am living as this! This triggered an investigation within me that lead to an awareness of how I have been living my life as Disappointment. The Disappointment character - actor. When I saw this it was like a flash of my life where I could see for a moment tons of situations through out my life where I was disappointed. If I wanted to say put it on a circle chart it would be about 80% to 90% of my life I felt was a disappointment. Thus 10 to 20% if even that, I might have been satisfied for a movement with myself. But as I see now – these satisfied feelings are always fleeting, as one spirals back to the next moment to do something with the fear of possible disappointment.I decided to look up the definition of disappointment to see what I could find.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappointment

Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest. Similar to regret, it differs in that a person feeling regret focuses primarily on the personal choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while a person feeling disappointment focuses on the outcome itself. It is a source of psychological stress. The study of disappointment—its causes, impact, and the degree to whichindividualdecisions are motivated by a desire to avoid it—is a focus in the field of decision analysis, as disappointment is one of two primary emotions involved in decision-making. (Regret and disappointment are the two emotions that are most closely linked to decision making.)

When I read this, I could see further how living as a disappointment character has affected my life. The points within this for me were

Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction
that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest

It is a source of psychological stress

Disappointment is one of two primary emotions
involved in decision-making.

• Tend to have an 'apathy' towards life/living and Self-Motivation• There will be a heaviness within your mind/self and really difficult to initiate self movement / the will to live• Energies are suppressed into the body and actually becomes a force that weighs you down mentally and physically

These definitions along with the consequences above have helped me to see and identify when and if I am living as disappointment and then apply the tools of self honesty, self forgiveness and self corrective statements and action.

Monday, April 1, 2013

I am walking a SRA2 mind construct – and every time I summit what I have and I get feed back to do more – find more, go deeper, my immediate reaction is anger that I am justifying as what I submitted is not seen as enough, not good enough, and then I go into self disappointment and frustration that I am not doing it right, it is not good enough, and I want to quit, I want to get it over with, and move on.I forgive myself that I have been accepting and allowing myself to every time I get feed back I want it to be okay, meaning when it sent it in - I felt I did my best and I wanted to move on, and then I react when it is suggested to do more, as I am seeing it as disappointment and then I start to get disappointed and do not want to continue. And then I become agitated within my being and start to become angry at everything I have to do. It sets off this whole chain reaction, where my chest gets tight from holding in the anger, (suppressed disappointment) and I start to limit my breathing, like hold my breath in anger. I get disappointed and angry at my buddy thinking/believing she does not understand me and feels I need to do it a certain way where in then I take it personally – like she doesn’t understand – she doesn’t see it my way. I think this comes from my reactions towards and with my mother – where I felt she never saw me as good enough. And therefore I go into an anger reaction when someone suggests to me do something different or more, as I take it personally as not being good enough. Geee…No wonder I am avoiding doing these MC – the disappointment I feel is extreme. Like wanting approval and not getting it. And it is really ANGER – that I suppressed, not self honestly investigated. It had been what I always do – I mean what do you do with anger? Act on it? Hurt someone – or suppress it. I think is what has been causing my chest congestion and coughing- continual suppression of anger and fear. I forgive myself that I have not seen or realized that I am holding this suppressed fear and anger of believing that I am not approved of and with in this I have been compromising myself and my body.

When I am doing or starting to do my SRA assignment and I see resistance starting I breath and stop following the feeling of resistance and mind backchat of "this is hard" I dont want to do this" and I realize that I am doing this for ME. That this is an opportunity to get specific with my subconscious and unconscious mind patterns and see where I am still holding onto believes that I have been accepting and allowing. And when I get feed back and I react instead of going into disappointment, I now start to see it as what can I do, how can I cooperate within myself to get this done. And I realize my resistance is a MCS pattern of not wanting to go beyond my comfort zone and not wanting to do the work. I comment myself to not accepted and allow myself to give up on myself.

Note since I have been writing out these realizations within doing my SRA assignments I have been able to move through them without the extreme resistance I was having before.

I the next blog I will share insights as I go over the definition of Disappointment

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"As one write self-forgiveness, self-forgiveness is the action of the decision made by self to take responsibility for self, and in taking/giving/gifting self with that responsibility – one become equal-to and one with the “problem”/consequence creation, making the statement: “I am taking responsibility for this problem/consequence creation as me”. In being/becoming the “problem”/consequence creation one will as the “problem”/creation see/find/realise the Solution." Sunette Destonian Spies

This is how we can purify ourselves in 7yrs to become a life worth living that is best for all of life. We take responsible for what we are thinking, and the very act of writing everyday is a way to assist in self disciple of directing our thoughts instead to let emotions, fears and the personality direct us, as we move to a supportive nature towards all mankind.