Saturday, February 21, 2015

SpinTunes #10 Round 3 Reviews: Jana Pochop

1. Edric Haleen - The Land Of No Punctuation

Run-on sentence gold. This is charming and smart. It is truly one good run-on sentence and tell a great story. You also manage to keep rambling in the verse and keep the melody interesting. Great bridge, too. All the stars here.

2. Adam Sakellarides - Too Verbose

I love all of this! Great story, great melody, defined verse and chorus, and very meta in that it’s a song about a guy that speaks in run-ons. I don’t think I’d change much. Perhaps tighten up the last verse a little lyrically - I had to listen a couple of times to get what exactly happened here...a happy or a sad ending? Let us know!

3. Megalodon - You Need To Know

Man, what an interesting song. When I read the words over before pressing play, I was not expecting what you did with the melody here. Great story, great humor in a song about ways to die, interesting side steps with the music that still let our ear follow along. Only critique is that sometimes the guitar overtakes the vocals, and the words are of utmost importance here - keep those up in the mix as much as you can.

4. James Young - Last Words

Intense and different. I enjoyed this character study and the way you set it up let us know exactly what moment in time we are listening too. I think your production worked well with this character as well - beautiful music. The only thing that stuck out to me as something that might not fit is the ”Oh Baby.” I understand the need for some sort of exclamation/exhortation here, but that line took me out of the flow a bit. I ranked this high because it was such a unique take on the prompt.

5. Dreiviertel Drei - Socksual

I like your style here...a story, a lot of humor, great push and pull from the musical arrangement. Great run-on’s that don’t sound like you’re cramming a lot of words in just to say a lot of words. This is very tastefully done for a song about socksuality. I don’t think I’d change a thing production-wise, either. Aces.

6. Kolton H. - Muse Of The Machine

I suppose machines would use run-on sentences when they become sentient! I loved this...what better way to contemplate one’s purpose on earth than with a good ramble? I am a fan of the production and structure here. I get that as a machine, you’re supposed to be monotone, so the music played against that well. Great job.

7. Jailhouse Payback - Reflections In My Eggs

Man - this song got me. The music deceives you and all of the sudden you’re gripped by a sad and confusing story...what happened? How’d you get killed? But I think this works with as much information as you give us, and I like how the final line is leading us on...with no resolution. Great guitar solo, too.

8. Ross Durand - Catch Me

Heartbreak in a run-on. Great structure, great differentiation between verse and chorus. I feel like the story is complete here, which I liked. That ending gets me...great way to summarize a relationship in a few sentences. I’d check those background vocals - they pulled me out a little. Either take out the unison or double it so it’s spot-on as a match. A small thing, I really enjoyed this.

9. The Boffo Yux Dudes - Love You

Totally perfect take on a run-on sentence...sometimes less is more, and I love that it’s topical to Valentine’s Day. The sentiment is spot on, and it wraps perfectly. The only thought I had was to build it a little more as you go...put that emotion out there! Watch pitch on the vocals, as well. Great run-on.

10. Atom & EV - Conspiracy Theory

This reminded me of “We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel and I loved it. As someone who has read about most of these, this presentation fits the mind of a conspiracy theorist exactly...long rambling thoughts that may or may not connect! I am a fan. Nitpicky thoughts: watch that pitch and maybe work a little dynamics into the vocal...the monotone style works over all, but...well, reference Mr. Joel. He gets more intense and I think that could work here.

11. Charlie McCarron - The Animal Song

I really loved everything about this - nerdy and clever and well performed. I ranked this lower because I don’t think it’s so much a run-on sentence as a bunch of long sentences stuck together? There’s just a little tweaking on this that can be done to run the entire thought together. But seriously...the song is a great one and so charming while being utterly depressing (that’s good).

12. Jutze - Squirrel

This made me laugh - “squirrel!” I ranked this a little lower than I wanted because I think it’s several run-ons put together. It makes for a really good song and is great to listen to, though. Loved the break into the spoken lines - all of it is charming.

13. Dr. Lindyke - No Time For Dreams

Loved your take on the prompt here. The story is so good, I want it packaged into something shorter...give this one a good editing and it tells a very relatable, interesting story (run-on sentences or not). The last break down verse about being a Dad is great...get to that as fast as possible.

14. Zoe Gray - When The Rain Falls

Beautiful song - and great premise here and so true! As always, I love your voice. nitpicky things: I think try for a little bit more of a verse/chorus differentiation melody-wise. These run-on songs can easily drag and just a bit of a tweak here would help the ear follow the form. Same with the guitar part - shake up a little. I also wanted a few more concrete images of the first child...how did this transition from child to adult affect him/her on a specific level? Any specific events we can add to show how the world gets in the way of child-like wonder? A thought for carrying the story line a little more.

15. Pete Murphy - Liars

I love how this takes on a really traditional song form with long run-ons - great verses! The staccato melody wore me down over time - I think I would have preferred a little more variation melody-wise, though the vibe does imply urgency to the story, which is cool. Great production - the music fits.

16. Governing Dynamics - Recursion

I’d love for that guitar intro to be tightened up a bit. Check the tuning on the electric overall - something it a bit off and it distracts. Tuck the electric a little but more in the background when mixing, too. Check pitch on vocals, too. The song itself is great - the poetic language works for me and there are some really lovely lines.

17. Jurek Mika - Yagi [Parte Uno]

Wow! This is a hell of a story and a run-on sentence. It’s got a little but of the rap vibe going, though the music takes me out of that a little. I think if I’d adjust anything, I’d turn it even more into a speaking delivery and really spit out those words. I could see this being delivered like performance art.