I’m the jerk for not accepting the apology, and why Juan Pablo was right

I wish people who make anti-gay comments would stop apologizing for them.

The apology is usually worse than the original statement. It’s insincere, and it comes from a publicist. Then I’m the bad guy when I don’t want to accept it.

Hey, LGBT community, here’s some news: There are just lots of people out there who don’t like us. Get over it. Stop insisting on an apology. It makes their supporters stronger and really gets us nothing. Just let the bigots’ words stand for themselves.

The recent round of apologies from bigoted idiots began with the jerk from Duck Dynasty. To me his non-apology was worse that his original statement.

“I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me,” the jerk from Duck Dynasty said. “We are all created by the Almighty and like Him, I love all of humanity. We would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other.”

The assumption in this statement is that we don’t all love God or each other. But he claims to be a church-goer, so apparently the person who isn’t is me. That would be news to my rabbi, but whether or not I’m religious or how religious I am is not really anyone else’s business.

To me religion is extremely personal, so I find his apology more offensive than his original statement that equated me to “the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers.”

Here’s how I graciously accept his apology.

I never watched your damn show. I never heard of you before you started making stupid, bigoted comments. I really don’t care what you think of me any more than you care what I think of you. I’m happy for you that you retained 80 percent of your audience for your new season, but I have removed A&E from my TV clicker because I don’t like watching bigoted crap on TV, and it’ll be a long time before I watch anything on that station again.

Next.

This week, Sherri Shephard from The View apologized for some of her remarks on a cable network no one’s ever heard of.

Her excuse is that she grew up Christian in a church where she was taught homosexuality is a sin and that us gays are going to hell. But hey, she’s sorry.

She says her views have evolved, but she still doesn’t approve of my “lifestyle.”

“I might not agree with your lifestyle, but I love you,” she said. “You may not agree with my lifestyle, but you love me.”

Well, no, I don’t love you and I have no idea what your “lifestyle” is, although I assume an important part of your “lifestyle” is spent worrying about my “lifestyle” since you spent all that time on TV discussing me and my friends rather than talking about anything important … or interesting.

I think you were hired by The View specifically for your narrow-minded opinions. That show’s mix of hosts always includes one intolerant moron who’s encouraged to say stupid things. Otherwise, what would you talk about for an hour a day, five days a week?

And now, because you apologized, I’m the jerk because I don’t care to accept it. OK, so here’s my forced acceptance of your forced apology.

Rather than teaching me to be judgmental about other people, my religion taught me to care for the poor, the less fortunate, the sick and the elderly. I’ve cared for countless friends with AIDS, had a few die in my arms, and I’ve conducted funeral services for several. The things I worry about is stuff like whether the Resource Center’s AIDS Food Pantry has enough food on the shelves or how we’re going to replace the money three agencies are losing now that Lone Star Ride is closing, not whether some intolerant talk show host I never heard of before is going to hell.

But you have a right to your religious beliefs. I have a right to mine. What you don’t have is a right to deny me my equal rights, just like I don’t have a right to deny you yours. So as far as I’m concerned, you can go to hell, just like you told me I’m going to do in your so-called apology.

Next.

First, I know I’m not the only one who saw ads for this season’s The Bachelor and said, “Gay.”

When Juan Pablo, the current “bachelor,” used the word “pervert” to describe the gay community, the explanation was the language barrier. Whatever. I’m a pervert because I love and care for my partner while you’re simultaneously dating 27 catty women who are stabbing each other in the back on national TV to get your attention. If The Bachelor is canceled after this season, it will be the first time in history a TV show was killed by irony.

Juan Pablo, here’s some advice. Sometimes saying less is more. Your original answer to the question about a gay bachelor was right. I completely agree with you. It would be a great show, but it won’t work. Here’s Jesse Tyler Ferguson and George Takei showing you why: