Saturday, January 8, 2011

go go go!

I just realised that I haven't posted anything here for more than a week. Life had been quite hectic lately... and probably this year to come. Now that we're in 2011, I have new resolutions (actually made up a few of them during Maal Hijrah):

1. To be a better muslim.

2. To be ahead at fulfilling my clinical requirements.

3. To read more books specifically on dentistry and Islam.

4. To learn more dental-related skills and polish them.

I really think I have not been taking religious issues serious enough :(

These couple of days, my mood has been mainly down due to... hm... quite a few. And when I feel down, I tend to sleep my sadness away. So, yesterday I slept for seventeen hours non-stop.

I sometimes wonder, will a few of so-called 'friends' still stick with me if I don't have a car? If I'm not on good-terms with a few guys who a few of my friends have been eying on, will they still be by my side? The latter might sound silly, but it's a fact - it has happened so many times already. Speaking of being a friend with benefits. I hate being taken advantage on and someone does that to me, I'm good at detecting it. At this rate, I wonder, should I just call this friendship off? It's getting harder and harder to fake a smile and laughter when later, I just feel like crying my heart out. But again, to follow the heart carelessly is unwise.

I guess it's okay to just distance myself from them just a little bit, but not as far as calling it off, because I have Allah to listen to whatever that's troubling my heart. I always have my parents to pour everything out. And I still have so many friends out there. This is my jihad.

This sounds a bit like childish problems, right? Truth is, as long as you live in a community, it's almost inevitable because you and I, we might not think the same way about everything. You have your intentions, and I, mine. Can I expect you to be in totally ways I always hope you to be? I don't think so, but I can hope. It might feel sad when my hopes are crushed as it is right now, but yeah... I have other friends to rely on. Alhamdulillah.