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FEELINGS

For starters, you asked me to call you Diamond from now on, because it is such a pretty jewel name.

Then you heard that you may have an allergy to dairy which could be causing your eyes to hurt- so now, if it has dairy in it, you won’t eat it.

Same with sugar. You said it makes your tummy hurt. So you refused cake at the birthday party.

I have to say, my dear, you did not get this self-control with food from me.

Just watch your Dad.

p.s. you have been struggling lately, dealing with all of the big emotions about the separation. We talk about it a lot. I hold you and comfort you and tell you how much we both love you and that we will always be a family and that I know it hurts and I hurt too.

I hope this experience strengthens you rather than traumatizes you. I don’t just hope. I pray with every ounce of my being.

I am so grateful for the tools I have to help you, and myself, navigate these larger than life feelings that can be so overwhelming at times.

The other night, we were laying in bed talking about being sad and you said, but Daddy is never sad.

I gave a big sigh and said, in my head, Welcome to the world of men, sweetheart. But out loud I said, that is because Daddy shows his feelings in a very different way than we do.

I love you sweet pea. You are feisty and funny and sweet and thoughtful and one hell of a dancer.

And you are sleeping in my bed right now.

I am going to come in there and snuggle you whether you like it or not.