How to Get Over an Ex

We have all been there. Struggling to get over an ex can be tough. Here are simple tips to help you get over an ex.

Get Closure

The most important thing to do when you’ve just gotten out of a relationship with someone you were in love with is to get closure. Have a conversation with them preferably face-to-face to confirm that you are both 100% finished with the relationship. This final talk should help you both understand why the relationship is coming to an end. This may be painful for the person getting left especially if you still have feelings for the other and letting go of anything/anyone you once loved is always difficult but it is necessary.

In some situations, you may want to stay with your partner while they want to leave you. Do not try to convince someone who no longer wants to be with you to stay with you. This is for your own emotional benefit. They most likely want to end the relationship because they no longer feel the love that was once there and kept you guys together. Maybe they feel guilty for cheating on you, lying to you or mistreating you while you were together even though you stuck through it; they know setting you free is the best thing to do. Make sure that at the end of this conversation, you are both satisfied, on the same page and you both agree that being apart is better than being together.

Understand and Accept That the Love Can’t Be Revived

It is important to be completely aware of the fact that the love has been lost and will never be found again. A flame has gone out and it can no longer be rekindled. If after the final conversation you have found yourself still communicating with your ex or still inquiring about them, it’s now time to let them go completely from your mind and heart. Acknowledge that the relationship is over and will never restart.

Stop trying to beat a dead horse and start taking serious steps towards getting over your now ex. You will only be making it easier for yourself to let go and move on from them.

Delete Them From Your Phone

The next thing that you must do is to delete their numbers from your phone, unfollow them on social media and if necessary also block them. This will curb your temptation to text them and check up on them. It is literally the first thing you need to do after breaking up with someone. However, if the two of you have agreed to remain friends or if they are your classmate, it is probably best to skip this step. Well, you should really just keep their number and unfollow their IG, facebook and twitter accounts.

Get Rid of Memories of Them

It is then essential to get rid of all memories of them: pictures, messages and videos saved on your phone, that necklace he gifted you, the hoodie you ‘borrowed’ from him, the handkerchief she got you for your birthday; get rid of all of it. Now I know this can be extremely hard but since when was getting over an ex easy? These are the steps you have to take if you want to completely move on with your life.

You don’t want to accidentally fall upon a picture of them in your gallery as you upload a new profile picture as this will bring back too many memories and feelings and trust me, you don’t want to put your heart through that.

Consider Their Negative Qualities

This does not mean that you should now think about them as a monster and go post three paragraphs under their Instagram pictures about how much of a terrible person your ex is. This simply means that you should keep in mind that there was a good reason why you guys broke up whether it was them not finding you attractive enough, them repeatedly cheating on you etc. Just think of it as being what was best for you, dodging a bullet. If you had stayed, their not so likeable habits would only have intensified and put you in danger or further broken your heart.

Focus on Something Else

After a breakup, so as to not spend your whole day binge watching rom-coms and swallowing whole tubs of ice-cream daily, find yourself an activity to do. It could be studying at the library, playing a sport, going out with friends, reading a novel, working out, spending time with family or whatever your hobbies are. Make sure that the activity you are doing is positive not negative. No need for smoking, getting drunk, club-hopping or having sex with random people in the hopes of getting your ex out of your mind.

Seek Help

Do not be ashamed to ask friends for help. If it is so intense, feel free to ask a friend or family member who has been in your situation for tips and assistance. If you were dumped, the feeling may be overwhelming and you might need a close friend to help you manage your emotions. They may also keep you busy so you don’t think of trying to get in touch with your former partner. If you were the one dumping your lover, they may feel confused and try to beg you not to leave them. Do not let them force to stay in a relationship where you’re not happy or where you feel you shouldn’t be.

Take Your Time

As Mariah Carey said in her hit single “Love takes time to heal”. Everyone needs their own time and uses their own methods. Just because your friend tells you they didn’t experience what you’re experiencing doesn’t mean you’re wrong or stupid for feeling the way you do. Also just because your sibling tells you it took them 8 weeks to get over a break up doesn’t mean you can’t get over yours in less (or more!) Everyone overcomes different emotions in their own time so don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. There is no hurry in trying to get over your past lover, as long as it gets done efficiently. Don’t let anyone put any sort of time pressure on you. Just know that the reason why the relationship ended is because it was not meant to be.