The Debrief: A Year in Review

To celebrate the one-year anniversary of this column, today we debrief The Debrief! Thank you for joining me here to talk about sex, dating and relationships.

To celebrate the one-year anniversary of this column, today we debrief The Debrief! Thank you for joining me here to talk about sex, dating and relationships. And another huge THANK YOU to all of you this past year who shared your stories, questions and reflections. Thanks, too, to you reading this right now thinking about what you want to add to the conversation. Yeah, you. What are you going to share this year?

The first person to respond to my request for stories submitted anonymously. Her story of finding her identity as a lipstick lesbian and coming out to friends and family has gotten the most page views of all The Debrief posts this past year. So, go you!

I made Dorise wait with her post through the High Holiday season, but I was so excited for you to see what she did. Those graphs? She analyzed 125 first dates, assigned grades to each, and figured out which ones she really believed could have been something. Her post came in at No. 5 for most-viewed this past year.

After that, Sasha shared her hilarious (and so awkward) tale of an Internet date with someone staying in her building. Phylisa reflected on the support she got from the Boston community after going through a difficult breakup. I had a phone call with an anonymous helper for the piece about costume play. And of course I had such a good time chatting with 88-year-old Enid to get her dating advice!

I’ve really enjoyed my new strategy of crowd-sourcing pieces. Not knowing what to expect, I asked on Facebook in December, “Will you only date Jews?” The responses poured in, and the resulting series of nuanced positions was the second-most popular post this past year. Several people shared their New Year’s dating resolutions a few weeks later, and I have a piece in the works about your favorite ways to say “no.” Email me if you have a thought or two to share about that, and find me on Facebook if you want to get in on future conversations.

Here’s a quick shout-out to all the sexuality professionals—or people whose work intersects somehow—who have been featured in the column: Logan, Ayo, Sarah, Dara, Jordan, Joanne, Margie and Robyn. Tell me about other amazing sex, love and justice pioneers who might want to hang out here!

I love facilitating this space in which I can invite other community members to share their stories, questions and reflections, either by name or anonymously. I am honored every time people choose to share their stories with me, and I am deeply moved by what they express.

I am always looking for new story ideas and new contributions, so I encourage readers to email me at mimia@jewishboston.com anytime.

Truth. Anytime. Like, right now. You know that story you’re thinking about? That date that you can’t figure out, that heartbreak you can’t shake, that friend who gave you the best advice you’ve gotten yet? I want to hear it. Use your name, choose a pseudonym, write it all out to send me or we can find time to just talk it through. Let’s debrief!

Mimi Arbeit has a Ph.D. in child study and human development from Tufts University. Her research takes a skills-based approach to promoting adolescent sexuality development and sexual health, with specific attention to questions of gender justice and the experiences of queer and trans youth. She applies this work to sex education and sexual violence prevention in contexts such as public schools, college campuses and youth development programs. She wrote The Debrief, JewishBoston’s weekly column about sex, dating and relationships, from its inception in 2013 until moving to New York City in 2015.