A Thousand Points of Spite: Week 2 awards

Houston quarterback David Piland, seen in this 2010 photo motivating Southern Miss' Octavius Thomas to grow Golden Eagle wings, is an operational death star. (AP)

• Pointiest pointsplosion. Louisiana Tech beat Houston 56-49 on Saturday and set a handful of NCAA offensive records in the process. We mentioned Saturday the game's 1,293 combined yards of offense; here's more of what putting teams like Houston and LaTech in the same place will do: Records snapped included most combined plays in a regulation game (209), most combined first downs (78), combined completed passes (87) and combined passes without an interception (129). Teamwork!

• Best innovation in tailgating technology. This R2-D2 keg hails from LSU, but you might have guessed that even if there were no caption and the photo were black and white:

• Grape job! Looking ahead for just a moment in SUREFIRE TEMPTING OF AN ANGRY AND VINDICTIVE COLLEGE FOOTBALL GOD: Florida State is favored by 24.5 points against Wake Forest. Merciful heavens.

• Best performance by a mascot, off-field category. We have a suggestion here for the powers that be at ESPN3/WatchESPN, and we are completely serious: You know how your screens just go dark for commercial breaks and go to statistical updates at halftime? Run this footage of Mississippi State's Bully on a water treadmill in their place, as a sort of cuddly and very wet Yule Log, and watch those viewer counts skyrocket.

• Best course correction. Western Kentucky's coach has some thoughts on all those turnovers the Hilltoppers gave up to Alabama:

If anyone see any of our players with a ball in their hand, slap it out and bring it to me. You will get to travel with us to UK. Go Tops!

• Best unofficial tribute. Say what you will about this devoted Arkansas partisan (just don't say it too loud; as a Razorbacks fan, she's likely well schooled in the art of background checks and can find out where you live in a hurry), but give her this: The lady can sing. That alone puts her light-years ahead of just about any other amateur college football-themed music video we have ever featured in this space.

• Kent State play of the week, which will continue to be named after Kent State until the Golden Flashes stop doing things like returning punts halfway down the field in the wrong direction and, now, safety-ing their own teammates. The Screaming Sheep is yours, until it is not:

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