Daily Recap — Friday the *GASP*….13th

Here is a special recap on this, the most frightening of days: Friday the 13th.

I wish I could guarantee that you’d survive to the end of this piece, but reality hasn’t afforded me that luxury.

(No, really, we could all croak at any time. Why do you think I laugh so much?)

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OMG RUSSIA, PT. DEUX

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The last time one of these Russian indictment thingies happened I had to write a whole big, long standalone piece to explain the nuances of foreign hacking, countermeasures, what it means for the Trump presidency, etc. It’s not warranted this time around because, frankly, there isn’t a great deal of difference between this indictment and the last, aside from the specific acts mentioned.

Thus, I’m going to do my trademark enumerated list of the meat and puhtaytahs so everyone knows what’s happening’. Then I’m moving the hell on, frankly.

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1) TIMING IS EVERYTHING

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Perhaps the first thing to jump out at everyone — especially the Trump supporters who have grown accustomed to this sort of thing — was the timing of this latest indictment.

For one, Congress just finished their berating/fellating of FBI NeverTrumper Peter Strzok for 10 hours yesterday, and let’s just say the results didn’t always paint the Russia probe in the best light.

Then, there is the upcoming summit between PDT and Hackin’ Vlad this Monday, which Dims are eager to portray as the end of the world, or at least a meeting between the two guys who want to end it. (You see, for the Left, there is no difference between *their* world and the real one, which doctors used to call a ‘delusion’.)

We knew this was coming, but the timing — on the eve of a summit between President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin — was a shock.

With all that’s happened over the last couple years, especially in the way of obvious media/deep state collusion — yes, collusion — in attempting to drive the news narrative, it’s hard not to see this as a poke in the eye of the administration. Especially with PDT upping his claims as of late of the Russia probe being a witch hunt/hoax, along with his expressed interest in improving relations with boogey man Putin.

It’s actually a rare and major development for the DOJ to indict officials of a foreign government. In almost every case, the president would have input into the decision, given the geopolitical implications. Remember, these kinds of decisions can have profound effects on foreign policy, which is strictly the president’s domain. In this instance, Deputy Attorney General Fraud Rosenstein said he briefed PDT last week on the indictment, but he never said he sought permission.

But he never said he didn’t ask permission, either. The legacy media, in their downright pitiful desperation, are latching onto this fact to push the narrative that the Rosenstein and the heroes of the King Bob team are saving us from the Russians despite Trump’s interference.

The truth, because that still matters, ya know, is PDT told the FBI/DOJ a long time ago that they had his full blessing to go after anyone and everyone who had a part in meddling in our election, to include anyone involved with his campaign. You won’t find that tidbit on the cover of the Failing New York Times, though.

So, was the timing purposeful? It would be intellectually dishonest to give you a concrete answer one way or the other, because frankly, I can’t put anything past these bums. But I will say this: If their intentions were purely political, they would’ve gotten far more bang for their buck by having this presser yesterday during the Strzok presser.

Not only would they have the same benefit of releasing anti-Russian info just before the summit, it would have completely undermined yesterday’s hearing.

So if it was intentional, they’re not very good at it. Then again, incompetence and corruption have never been necessarily mutually exclusive.

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2. THE PROOF

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As noted in my opening, the indictment tells a familiar story. But it adds many layers of details, naming names, and minutely describing how the hacks were carried out through both basic and sophisticated techniques, some of which allowed the Russians to capture every keystroke on a user’s machine (it’s called a remote key logger for anyone who’s interested).

It also leaves out crucial information, however, including how the government would prove that these particular Russians did the things they’re alleged to have done. The U.S. government already released a detailed intelligence assessment asserting that the Russian government, through its intelligence agencies, hacked, leaked and interfered in the 2016 election. It claims to have evidence Putin was personally involved and closely supervised aspects of the operation, though that is a given considering no operation of that sort happens without his personal approval.

But we still don’t know how the government could prove in court that, for example, defendant Ivan Yemakov, a Russian military officer, stole thousands of emails from people affiliated with the Clinton campaign. One reason is that doing so would likely expose sensitive sources and methods, which the government would obviously rather not put in the public domain, including the extent to which my old buddies at the NSA intercept Russian intel communications.

Since this case is extremely unlikely to ever reach a court —Putin isn’t going to extradite his own intel officers — those details may never be known.

So should you believe the government’s claims?

Well, it’s kind of complicated. Here’s the deal. Russia does hack us a lot. But so does every country on Earth with internet capability. The Chinese, Israelis and North Koreans are all just as likely to hack into American institutions as the Russians.

So while I couldn’t hope to sit here and give you a 100% answer one way or the other, I will say this: It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if Putin did indeed launch this operation, and the way intelligence gathering is conducted would require a fairly extensive conspiracy to lie at the level of detail necessitated by an indictment of this sort.

But I also know that Russia is the big boogey man being used as CYA ointment by every corrupt element of the previous administration, therefore I can’t in good conscience tell you to trust what the government is saying.

And that hurts, a lot. I look forward to the day when I can tell you that the white hats have cleaned house and you can trust the information coming from intel sources, but that day hasn’t yet arrived. I know with every fiber of my being that it will, but not today.

Nothing hurts my heart more than to tell my fellow Americans than the profession I’m so proud to claim can’t be fully trusted at the moment. It will be made right, though.

You’ll just have to take my word for that.

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3) THE NEW COOCHIE-CAPPER CONSPIRACY THEORY:

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The indictment puts a new spotlight on Trump’s tongue-in-cheek call for the Russians to find Hillzdawg’s deleted emails back during the campaign. He said at a July 27 press conference in Florida: “Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press,” Trump said.

The indictment says that later that same day, Russian operatives “attempted after-hours to spearphish for the first time email accounts at a domain hosted by a third-party provider and used by Clinton’s personal office,” referring to a tactic used to target computer users with fake emails containing malware.

Side note: If you get an email from someone you don’t know asking you to click on something, DON’T.

The Russians also began an effort that day to target 76 Clinton campaign email accounts, the indictment said.

So essentially, PDT made a joke at a press conference about the Russians finding Hillary’s emails, and King Bob’s team is wondering whether the Ruskies took him seriously. Maybe they did.

But this theory sits on pretty shaky logical ground. For one, it assumes that there had been no Russian cyber activity before then. That’s simply not true. It’s not like the GRU (a Russian mix of NSA and CIA) was sitting around twiddling their thumbs awaiting their marching orders from Trump. Do you really believe that Russian intel officers said to themselves, “Gee, that’s a great idea! Never thought of that before!”

Give me a break.

One thing I do know is that Russian intel loves to manipulate the American press in order to sow discord and division within our society, so it’s absolutely possible that these attacks were kicked up a notch in response to PDT’s statement just for the sole purpose of giving the appearance of collusion.

Look people, the Russians aren’t running from King Bob. They want everyone to think that Trump and Putin are in league together. That’s why you hear Putin make smartass remarks like “We do have the best hookers in the world,” a statement designed to stoke discussion about the existence of a supposed pee-pee tape. It’s also why that one Russian lawmaker was sure to be near a microphone when he said “maybe we should release the kompromat (compromising material) we have on Trump.” It’s designed to stoke controversy and turn Americans against one another.

When you’re competing with a superpower, it helps to have superpower fighting itself. That’s the whole point. And our idiotic Dims have been playing right into their hands for years.

That’s why PDT always says that Moscow “is sitting back laughing their asses off.” He gets it. He gets Putin. He understands that you must deal with them from a position of strength. He also understands that they’re rational creatures who can be manipulated according to their own self-interests. He understands all of it.

I just wish the idiots who don’t understand the Russians weren’t always the ones screaming the loudest.

Such is life.

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4) CONTACT WITH AMERICANS:

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The indictment doesn’t name any Americans, but it describes a person who appears to be Roger Stone. For those unfamiliar, Stone is a longtime GOP self-described “dirty trickster.” He cut his teeth on the Nixon campaign and has worked as a political operative for various Republicans ever since.

The indictment claims that Stone was in communication with Russian hackers. The Russian intelligence persona known as Guccifer 2.0 communicated with “a person who was in regular contact with senior members” of the Trump campaign, according to Mueller.

“Please tell me if i can help u anyhow. it would be a great pleasure to me,” Guccifer 2.0 allegedly said to Stone.

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In March 2017, the Smoking Gun website published an article that purported to include that message, in an exchange with Stone. He responded by releasing screen shots of his messages, confirming the exchange but downplaying its significance.

“To reiterate, I myself had no contacts or communications with the Russian State, Russian Intelligence or anyone fronting for them or acting as intermediaries for them,” Stone wrote in March of 2017. “None. Nada. Zilch. I am not in touch with any Russians, don’t have a Russian girlfriend, don’t like Russian dressing, and have stopped drinking Russian Vodka.”

Stone maintains to this day that he had no part in any hacking and that he had no clue he was speaking to Russian intelligence, if that was indeed the case.

Today’s indictment actually backs up that claim, as Fraud Rosenstein himself made very clear that no Americans were being accused of knowingly speaking to or working with Russians.

When it comes to Russian collusion, Roger Stone and Carter Page were the cooch nation’s best bets. And it doesn’t look like they’re gonna pan out..

Sorry cooter heads, the FBI tried very hard to entrap them. God knows they tried. Some things just aren’t meant to be.

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BOTTOM LINE:

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While most on the Left only need to see the words “Russian” and “indictment” in the same sentence to declare the end of The Donald, the facts on the ground don’t much for them toward that end. In fact, today’s indictment is bad news for them long term.

For one, it essentially confirms what I’ve thought for a while now; that the silly Twitter nonsense with Roger Stone was the most powerful “collusion” evidence they had. Not good for the coochie-cappers.

Also not good for them is the fact that Rosenstein appears to have PDT completely in the loop of the Russia probe. We’ve been told repeatedly that PDT isn’t the subject of the investigation and I’ve been telling my readers since this whole thing started that they won’t get anywhere close to indicting him for this nonsense.

I feel as confident in those assertions as ever, and if I were a coochie-capper, I’d hold off on the fantasies of Trump being led away from the Oval Office in handcuffs.

It was always stupid; it was always a fantasy. It was always wishful thinking, just as some on our side like to fantasize about Hillary doing time in Gitmo.

Sometimes truth is hard to accept, but they’re gonna have to get started toward that end at some point or another. That, or they can drive themselves mad waiting for their idiotic fantasies to come to fruition.

I’ll be laughing either way.

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TRUMP VISITS THE QUEEN

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And maaaaaaaaan, Melania put on a few extra layers of fine for this trip. Have mercy.

Sorry, I’ll concentrate.

Since yesterday, PDT has been partaking in all the pomp and circumstance that accompany a presidential trip to visit the queen and, unlike with Obama (whom she hated), she seems genuinely happy to see him!

The most important visit was to Prime Minister Theresa May, however, and it’s the one dominating headlines. May is currently in bunker mode as she fights for her political life due to a less than impressive handling of Brexit.

She and PDT have worked to avoid a political crisis after a bombshell interview with the British tabloid The Sun in which Trump criticized May on several fronts, with Brexit topping the list.

In that interview, PDT noted (speak of Brexit): “I would have done it much differently. I actually told Theresa May how to do it but she didn’t agree, she didn’t listen to me.

Another headline-grabbing part of the interview dealt with trade, as PDT warned that a bad Brexit deal would almost certainly imperil a trade deal with the United States, which Britain badly needs and wants. But he cleaned up that stance today, saying that ties between the two countries were at the “highest level of special” and that she was doing a “fantastic job.”

He also praised Boris Johnson as a good man who would make a good Prime Minister, which British #FakeNews outlets pounced on in order to create the narrative that Trump had somehow shown up to unseat May in her own country with a politician of his liking.

In reality, he was just saying something kind about someone who’d been very kind to him over the years despite taking a lot of heat for doing so. It’s really not much more complicated than that, but did anyone really expect the press to give him a fair shake? If you think the American press is bad, whew lads, they ain’t got nuthin’ on the Brits.

Straight up communists, man, I tell ya.

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Despite their differences, though, diplomacy has managed to rule the day and talks between our two countries have continued apace.

Before heading to Windsor to visit Her Majesty The Queen, Trump and May held private talks and a news conference in which they tried to restore a sense of unity after the Sun interview.

Here is a quick list of topics that were covered and how they were discussed:

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• Brexit: PDT seemed to backpedal on the criticism of May’s policy, saying, “Whatever you do is O.K. with me, that’s their decision.” But he repeated that May had not followed the advice he gave on Brexit, adding, “I think she found it maybe too brutal.” Come on PDT. Keep that stuff private, man.

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• Immigration: PDT said “I think it’s been very bad for Europe” and “it’s changing the culture” of the Continent, adding, “You see the same terror attacks that I do.” But May said Britain had “a proud history” of welcoming immigrants, and that “overall, immigration has been good for our country.”

The #1 baby name in London is now Mohammad. If you think that’s good for Britain, you’re living in a fantasy land. And that fantasy land is a big reason PM May is fighting for her political life.

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• Russian meddling in the 2016 election: Yes, haters, PDT said he would again raise the issue of election meddling with Putin, who denies any interference. “I don’t think you’ll have any ‘Gee I did it, I did it, you got me,’” he said, “but I absolutely will ask the question.”

It’s sad that he has to explain things like that to these idiots, but that’s how it is. Russians don’t care what you ask them anyway. They care what you do. Mess with their ability to produce energy, they’ll listen. Act like the Obama administration and talk a bunch of smack without any real action and guess what….they’ll take you to the cleaners. It’s Russia. It’s what they do.

That’s also the nature of the world in general, in the off chance any leftists care to learn about it.

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• U.S.-Russia relations: PDT said a major obstacle to improving ties is the PutinGate witch hunt. He (rightly) blamed President Barry for Putin’s annexation of Crimea in 2014, and said it would not have happened if he had been in office. That is also (likely) true.

Again, Russians respect strength. When you’re weak, they do things like take over neighboring countries.

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• The May-Trump relationship: They both brushed off suggestions that his remarks to The Sun had undercut her or damaged their relationship. PDT said that when he started to apologize this morning, the prime minister said, “Don’t worry, it’s only the press.”

Hmmmm, maybe she’s not so bad after all.

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TEA WITH THE QUEEN

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After cleaning up the situation with PM May, PDT skipped on over to Windsor Castle to visit Queen Elizabeth II, where he received the kind of welcome for which the Brits are known.

PDT and the 92-year old monarch strolled the grounds of Windsor and reviewing the Royal Guard but didn’t speak much throughout the ceremony. Before the meeting, PDT had expressed his admiration for the monarch and noted that his mother, a native of Scotland, was a fan of the queen.

Queen Elizabeth has met with 11 of the past 12 serving American presidents during her reign. (The exception was that old scoundrel Lyndon B. Johnson.)

They were not accompanied by the queen’s 97-year-old husband, Prince Philip, who officially retired from royal duties last summer.

After the outdoor ceremony, PDT and Melania had afternoon tea in the castle with the queen, where they discussed issues such as the economy, security and that #BigFat ass-whoopin’ we laid on the redcoats way back in the day. Okay, okay, I lied. They never discussed the economy.

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Before Hair Force One took off, PDT was interviewed by annoying British journalist Piers Morgan aboard the plane. Morgan tweeted that he had just finished a 30-minute interview with the president, causing the British Left to absolutely lose their minds and declare him an enemy of the state.

The Donald now heads to Turnberry, a golf resort he owns in Scotland, where he will spend the weekend before travelling to Helsinki and attempting to avert the nuclear war Dims are trying to cause.

Good luck, Mr. President. You’re doing a great job! Please continue to unapologetically advocate for your country’s interests. It’s what every POTUS should do.

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PAGE’S TIME IN THE BARREL

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Former FBI lawyer/adulteress Lisa Page faced a grilling from House Republicans looking for any discrepancies between her testimony and that of her NeverTrump soulmate Peter Strzok.

Unfortunately, this was a closed-door hearing, so the little information we have is from the Fake News. The few facts we have, assuming we can call them that, are from congressman and other sources who were at the hearing.

She didn’t answer questions from reporters entering and exiting the Judiciary Committee’s closed spaces — and the handful of lawmakers who conducted the interview provided few details.

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Multiple Republican lawmakers described Page as cooperative and credible — a marked contrast to their vituperative characterizations of Strzok — and said she answered some questions that Strzok would not.

Boy, I’d love to see which questions those were.

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“We certainly learned additional things today, but I can tell you that the last thing anyone wants to be is falsely accused and her willingness to cooperate today speaks well of her,” said Rep. Mark Meadows.

Leave it to Republicans to have someone flat-out ignore their subpoena only for them to turn around kiss that person’s ass two days later. These people make me want to punch so many things.

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There was one sore spot, though, as some Republicans on the committee were less than thrilled with all the lawyers Page brought along.

“Lisa Page is not an FBI employee, but the FBI was here providing counsel and giving her direction as to which questions to answer or not answer and there is a question as to the propriety of that before the House,” said Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), one of the few Republicans remaining solid in their search for the truth.

Another sore spot was obvious lying, WHICH OUGHT TO BE A SORE SPOT FOR CONGRESSMEN CONDUCTING OVERSIGHT DUTIES OF THE FBI.

According to GOP lawmakers in the room, Page defended herself against charges of bias, providing context to the texts that they found “unpersuasive” — if not as patently offensive — as they found Strzok’s nonsense excuses the day before.

Of course, it will be hard to know just how full of crap she is, SEEING AS HOW WE ALLOWED HER TO DO HER CLOSED-DOOR SESSION A DAY AFTER WATCHING STRZOK GIVE HIS OWN. Probably not gonna find many ‘discrepancies’ that way, GOP.

One Dim congressional source said Page appeared less assertive and confident in her answers than Strzok had been. But that person added that two hours into the interview, she didn’t appear to have contradicted his testimony in any way. YOU DON’T SAY.

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BOTTOM LINE:

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Due to the nature of closed-door hearings, I don’t really have much more to add. It looks like I was right that she’d be more nervous/scared than Strzok, but it doesn’t really matter much since she received a 10-hour cheat sheet yesterday in the form of Strzok’s open hearing.

If there is good news to be had, it’s that this is just the first of two slated sessions. Page is scheduled to return on Monday to continue answering questions.

Who knows, maybe they’ll strike oil.

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GET ‘EM CONFIRMED, MITCH

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I guess some turtles can move quickly after all.

Senate Majority Leader Turtle McConnell said today that he expects the Senate to vote on Brett Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court nomination before the Court starts its next term.

“The timetable typically for recent Supreme Court justices, if we stuck to that timetable and I intend to, would give us an opportunity to get this new justice on the court by the first of October,” McConnell told reporters in Kentucky today.

Kavanaugh, meanwhile, is making his rounds on Capitol Hill as he works to lock down the simple majority support he’ll need to be confirmed as Justice Anthony Kennedy’s successor.

Sen. Chuck Grassley hasn’t said when the Judiciary Committee will hold a hearing on the nomination.

But McConnell predicted today that it will likely take place in late August or early September. The Senate is expected to be in Washington for most of August after McConnell canceled three weeks of the summer recess, thank God.

Turtle added that he expects Kavanaugh will be able to win over the simple majority needed to be confirmed. If Cooter McCain doesn’t return for the vote, which he won’t, Kavanaugh would need the backing of 50 senators.

Republicans could confirm Kavanaugh without help from Dims if the caucus rallies behind him.

The good news is Collins and Murkowski have all but declared that Kavanaugh has their vote, mostly because of his statements on respecting precedent regarding abortion. But even in the off chance that they don’t get on board, we’re still looking pretty good.

Several Democratic senators, especially those up for reelection in states won by PDT, also remain on the fence, though McConnell predicted that most members already know how they’re going to vote.

“I think most members who are in the undecided column will wait until the hearing,” he said. “My suspicion is there’s a fairly small number of people who are genuinely undecided.”

He’s correct. I’ll even go a little farther and tell you that Joe Manchin, Heidi Heitkamp and Claire McCaskill are in the bag, and a few more are likely to join them once their aides give them the data on battleground state polling.

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BOTTOM LINE:

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He’s going to get confirmed.

There are plenty of things to stress us out over the next few months; don’t let this be one of them.

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It’s been one heluva week, folks. Thanks for staying with me throughout all of it.

We’re going to figure all this stuff out one day. In the meantime, smile. Donald Trump is our president and he’s winning. Some things take longer than others, but the scoreboard doesn’t lie.

Keep things in perspective. There are so many reasons to be stressed, but so many more to feel blessed.

See you Monday.

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There it is, homeskillet. You know the drill: questions, comments, concerns, memes, insults, compliments, stickers, jokes, emojis and, if we have time, complaints.

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