Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Jersey Campbell's "How is a nigga gonna borrow a fry?" of the day- The DUI edition

I didn’t think I would have to come back with one of these
so soon. Alas, here we are, and niggas still act likefries can be borrowed.

"I seen the hatred in his eyes the first time I walked in the class. All he saw when he looked at me was a black nigger."

I was in an unfortunate incident a month ago and now the
county is trying to fuck their way up my ass and into my small intestine. I
don’t know if you’ve ever been ass fucked before but it really hurts.

Now I have to pay all these fines for what is being called a
traffic infraction. Court fees, conditional license fees, alcohol class fees,
untidy facial hair fees, black man fees, look-like-you-smoke-drugs fees. There’s even a fee to be enrolled in community
service. In the old days you had to pay to own the rights of a slave, nowadays
we gotta pay to be slaves. I like how they switched it up on us. TouchéWhite Man… touché.

Despite all of that, the reason why I there is another
installment of “How is a nigga gonna borrow a fry?” is because the great county
of Nassau where I reside is suing my mother for her car in the name of
something like “criminal evidence.” Yeah you right, I was involved in a major
coke deal that night and I totally understand why you want to impound the car.
Remember those shirts that were popping up in ‘hoods all over the country?
“Stop Snitchin’.” Vicarious World is gonna start a new campaign called “Stop
Bullshittin’” because that’s exactly what this is. You dun rang out over a
grand from me why you gotta take mama dukes car? Does it really have to go that
far? Because I had a couple drinks at the bar, got in the car, and thought I
was gonna make it far? (Any track, any time. I lay it DOWN son. Who know know
spit hot fiyah like Jersey Camp 2 da Bell. My day is going swell. “How about
you?” I hope it’s going well. From your facial expression and body language I
can sorta tell. OK OK OK. I’m done. But seriously, I need to find myself in a
studio.)

I understand the state must punish all the evildoers for their unforgivable crimes against humanity. But suing for a car because it was involved in a traffic infraction? That can't make sense to anybody. Of all the bullshit the state does to the people who (supposedly) gave it power in the first place, this sure seems like a violation of some type of unalienable right. Let it be known, niggas will not give you your fries back.