The South’s Most Unfortunate City Names

The South has some quite respectable city names, to be certain. Nashville. New Orleans. Charleston. Raleigh. Orlando. While some of our towns are overly descriptive — Levelland, Texas and Greasy Corner, Arkansas and Hot Coffee, Miss. — for example.

But we’ve also got some head-scratchers. How in the Sam Hill did we ever come up with those?

Here’s our guide to the South’s most unfortunately named cities.

1. Toad Suck, Arkansas
A town along the river where men would suck down liquor “until they swelled like toads,” according to one resource. Which is not even fair to those poor, unsuspecting toads. Or maybe it’s a bastardization of a French phrase that means “narrow channel in the river.” Either way, Toad Suck doesn’t sound all that inviting.

2. Grosse Tete, Louisiana
This tiny town along Interstate 10 is a fancy, Frenchified way of saying “Fat Head,” and is the place where I once had a flat tire. As you might expect, Fat Head offered little help or respite. And it’s weird how the French have already contributed so much to this list. We should thank them.

3. Horneytown, North Carolina
This is a little town that can’t win. It’s either living up to its name or not. It’ll always be pre-judged, post-judged and probably never make anyone happy.

4. Twin Knobs, Kentucky
This is a campground, and Google’s flattened aerial view gives no insight into how it got that name (unlike Lake Dick in Arkansas). It must be something more topographical. Either way, this graphic name is a winner.

5. Three Way, Tennessee
See: Horneytown.

7. Flea Hop, Alabama
Why don’t you just call it “Bed Bug, Alabama.” That’s the only way this town name could be less appealing.

8. Beaver Lick, Kentucky
Kentucky has a strange obsession with using the word “lick” when naming things. They’ve also got Big Bone Lick state park . As well as Knob Lick. And Paint Lick. But you really can’t beat Beaver Lick with a stick.

Yeah, we know we forgot the weirdest city name in your state, so lay it on us in the comments.