Opinion

Monday, 14 December 2015

Scientists back Kejriwal’s ‘Rahul Gandhi is a kid’ remark, say his gray beard is the result of electromagnetic radiation

Scientists at Bhabha Atomic Research Center have corroborated Arvind Kejriwal’s claim, stating Rahul Gandhi is indeed world’s first known gray-bearded kid, and the reason for his gray beard is electromagnetic radiation.

Further explaining the phenomenon, they said, “Mr. Gandhi has a lot of pent up energy in him to do something for the nation. But as he is not getting enough opportunities, these energies are getting converted into radioactive materials. These materials are constantly emanating from his body and turning his beard gray.”

The center, meanwhile, has made it mandatory for all MPs to display their Aadhar Card details on Twitter to avoid any confusion.

The whole controversy erupted when Indian Railways demolished a slum in Delhi and Rahul Gandhi alleged Kejriwal’s involvement in it, prompting the latter to retort with the historic remark. Though, Kejriwal’s ‘kid’ remark has enough supporting evidence, Rahul Gandhi’s statement cannot be dismissed as baseless either, as no one is fully aware of who is running Delhi, and its functioning is largely a mystery to everyone. Hence, every time something happens in Delhi, a fleeing image of a muffler-clad face flashes through everyone’s mind.

When we contacted Mr. Gandhi, he refuted the claim and whipped out his Aadhar Card from his pocket as proof of age. A piece of paper came out with the card and fell on the ground. He picked it up and said, “They are trying to stifle my voice but I will continue to fight for…women empowerment.” He quickly glanced at the paper from the corner of his eyes and continued, “Is Swachh Bharat working? Is Make in India working? I don’t think so. And if something doesn’t work then what is the point of starting it in the first place? What we need is an anti-corruption drive.”

When we told him that even anti-corruption drives are not working, he roared, “Does that mean we should stop trying?”

Before we could get his reaction on Kejriwal’s remark, we noticed a group of people, with bags on their shoulders, wandering along the road. He immediately pulled them aside and posed for a photograph with them; we obliged. He assured them shelter and rehabilitation and asked them to join him for a dharna outside Jantar Mantar. However, they politely declined his invitation saying they were tourists and had already arranged for shelter in a hotel.

We tried to contact Arvind Kejriwal for another spiteful remark but he was busy solving a complex odd-even number problem and wasn’t available for comment.