We found this amazing personal ad for a 61-year-old 'DWJF' on Craigslist and asked her why she bothers — her answer is perfect

“I've tried online sites and am tired of looking at profiles with
guys wearing hats and sunglasses. Are they in the witness
protection program?”

That’s Ellen. She’s, by her own definition, a DWJF — divorced,
white, Jewish female — and she’s looking for romance.

The 61-year-old Manhattanite recently posted a personal ad to
Craigslist in an attempt to get one step closer to a “warm male
mensch.”

You may be wondering, why Craigslist? So was I. After a cursory
Google search, it's clear there are plenty of dating sites
tailor-made for the over-50 crowd, not to mention the dozens
created for the twenty-and-thirty-somethings.

So why, Ellen, would you take your quest to the land of apartment
scams and $10 Ikea dressers? Surprisingly, she says, people are
more honest there.

But let's start at the beginning. Ellen has dabbled in online
dating for almost two decades.

“I started online dating shortly after I got divorced in 1998,”
Ellen, a psychiatrist, told me when I contacted her — through
Craigslist, of course — to inquire about her ad. “I tried it all
— JDate, Match, eHarmony…” Her voice trails off, as if she’s
thinking hard. She comes back. “eHarmony was the complicated one.
So many questions. And for a few years, I had profiles on Match
and J-Date up at the same time.”

Ellen's voice is warm and inviting. A stand-up comedian by
night, she has a great sense of humor. And, like the rest of the
millions of people registered on dating sites and apps across the
internet, she finds dating exciting, if not simultaneously
exhausting.

So after a grueling 17 years in the online dating world, Ellen
decided to get back to basics. No, not by speed dating or being
set up by friends or meeting a real-life matchmaker, but through
Craigslist — the online classified section whose layout and
functionality have been largely the same since its debut in 1995.

Here's her ad:

Craigslist

The full text reads:

The dating world has changed a lot since I got divorced.
Hook-ups? Friend With Benefits? Is that health and dental
benefits? I'm kind of old fashioned so if you are genuinely
single and want to meet someone educated and reasonable, please
get in touch. I'm not a Victoria's Secret model but I am told I'm
cute/pretty and have a sense of humor and am slim. I'd like to
meet someone wonderful. I've tried online sites and am tired of
looking at profiles with guys wearing hats and sunglasses. Are
they in the witness protection program?

Seeking single/divorced/widowed professional funny, friendly male
mensch for friendship/companionship and eventual romance in
Manhattan. I love stand-up comedy, film, TV, theater, music,
cruises, coffee, museums. I met a guy who didn't own a TV. I love
TV! I enjoy reading and writing and am working on a book. I work
part-time in Brooklyn, 3 days a week. Are you single and a fan of
the arts? Do you have some free time on weekends for conversation
and companionship? Seeking someone drug-free and truthful and
reliable.

Please don't respond if you are alcoholic or smoke pot/use any
drugs, or are married/involved with someone else, or are under
45. Pets and kids are fine. Non smoking and health-conscious.
5'5" 128 lbs., brunette.

Nothing on Ellen’s list strikes
me as far-fetched. If anything, it’s a little cliche. Who’s
looking for a mean-spirited liar? But as anyone who has spent
more than five minutes in the dating scene knows, finding a true
partner can be like searching for Waldo (as in
“Where’s?”).

And Waldo, Ellen says, was not on any of the dating sites she
signed up for.

“I learned to ask a lot of questions,” she told me when I asked
what she had learned from her experiences. “When I go on dates
now I say, you know, ‘are you completely, verifiably divorced,’
you know, ‘are you completely single?’ Because I learned
separated really means married.”

According to a Pew Research study from April, 6% of singles ages
55-64 are online dating, a far cry from the overwhelming 22% of
25-to-34-year-old singles signed up to find love. And Ellen's age
group is what Pew calls a thinning market; they have
"a relatively limited number of available partners within their
immediate social circles."

Ellen, who has been riding the dating train since she was
44, has also seen the stigma of online dating disappear. "It used
to be a thing no one understood or wanted to talk about," she
recalls. "Like something was wrong with you if you had to take
that path to get a date."

But along with the advent of online dating, and the dozens and
dozens of sites created to make finding companionship easy, she
figured out the cold, hard, truth: any site can promise to make
you a match, but paying $19.99 a month to find love doesn’t
necessarily mean love will find you.

Ellen (left) and her
children, filming the movie "Vegucated" back in
2005.Netflix/Vegucated

She told me a handful of tales as old as time about her dating
horror stories. Exhaustive stories with similar endings:
dishonest people always get caught being dishonest. If you're
invested, the result of that betrayal can be heartbreaking. It's
a risk you take when you decide to get romantically involved with
someone, she understands, but if that's what you're going to end
up with, why would you willingly pay a monthly fee to get it?

And that’s, Ellen says, what
led her back to the personal ads on Craigslist.

She has actually been a fan of Craigslist for
years. The comic spends plenty of time on the pages for TV and
film gigs — back in 2005, she and her kids starred in an
award-winning documentary called “Vegucated,” where they went
vegan for six weeks. The movie is currently on Netflix.

Ellen might not have found her Craigslist Prince
Charming yet, but she does have three dates lined up at the
moment — dates she's already spoken to on the phone and will meet
for the first in a public place during the day to ensure safety.

And she also shared some surprising news: dating
through the personal section isn't all that bad.

“I found Craigslist no worse than J-Date or Match.com and I’ve
been on those for years. You find weird and creepy people
wherever you go! Anyone can lie on any of these sites,” she’s
laughing now. “You save money if you go on Craigslist. People are
more transparent there.”

One site she hasn't tried is Tinder.Ellen says she likely
"won't be trying Tinder."Tinder

“My daughter is 20 and she met someone on
Tinder,” she tells me. “We’re bonding over the same stuff and
we’re a generation apart.”

You have to have a good attitude, and you have to learn to laugh
at everything, Ellen informs me, recalling a lewd email she
received in response to her G-rated ad.

“Are you good at BJ’s!” she squeals into the phone, reading the
email. “That’s his opening gamut! I’m a doctor! I just delete it.
It’s clear what this guy’s about and I delete it.”

She calls the entire experience of Craigslist dating “low
stakes,” informing me that the “best of Craigslist”
section is prime material for acting teachers who need to
gather unique monologues for their classes.

Her dating advice for others is simple: “If you listen, he’ll
tell you who he really is. You dont want to make the mistake
where you get involved with someone. Take your time and it will
pay off.”