Euro now worth 82 HMV vouchers.

The Euro has soared to a new high against a basket of worthless high street vouchers. Once on a par with the Jessop, the multi-European coinage is currently trading at 61 Jessops, or roughly 82 HMVs.

When markets reopen, rumours of a write-off of unpaid late DVD return fees could cause a run on the Blockbuster, and Blockbuster-long investors who have never favoured the European currency, or anything foreign, are expected to switch into the Johnlewis bond, seen as the gold standard, or the less secure but more easily traded Argos.