YOUR CART

I'm Shane. I’m a comedian.

​What I’ll do is, I’ll write things that I hope are funny. Then I’ll try to confirm if they are in fact funny. If they appear to be (funny), I’ll say them in front of people for a bit, or publish them, or record them, or etch them in the manner that I see fit.

I wish there were more to it than that. I don’t think that the things I write will change the world. I don’t care if they ever make me rich or famous, and I don’t need a platform to talk about myself (I'm not that interesting).

​Truth be told I just don’t want to repair pallets for a living. I’ve tried, can’t do it.

That’s a real place by-the-way. There’s a company that repairs pallets (those wooden things companies ship products on). They don’t build new ones, they repair damaged ones so they can get back out there and be stacked upon. After a group of men repair them another man driving a forklift drives a stack of them to a guy listening to Howard Stern through headphones, then that guy paints the stack bright orange. I was that guy. Have you ever spent 10-hours painting things bright orange? It messes with your eyes. After two-and-a-half days at that job, in the middle of my shift, I took off the large hazmat suit they had me wearing and walked 3-hours home (my ride continued to be employed).

So now I do comedy. My market research team has informed me that the internet likes cats, so I took this into consideration when organizing this site's content. Just click on the cat that corresponds to what you want to accomplish in your time here. On this site, not on the planet. You are capable of so much more than exploring a website.

There is a video section included in this website (video). Take a look and tell me what you think. If you like them, you can contact me (contact) or follow me on social media (also contact), or see where I am performing live (live dates). If you hate the jokes I tell, but were excited by the prospect of discovering a new comedian, send me a message (contact) and let me know what famous comedians you like. Perhaps I can suggest some up-and-comers with similar sensibilities.

I think that’s it.

Profesional-sounding bio...

There’s a chance you may have seen Shane on the History Channel doing a guest segment on How The States Got Their Shapes, or The Knick on Cinemax. While the latter was not a speaking role, he did get to ring the bell as the timekeeper of an underground wrestling match, and that brought him more joy than any Oscar ever could. He has co-wrote and directed his own TV pilot, titled Clunker, about a self-proclaimed private investigator searching for a missing christian porn star. As a comedian he’s been described as inclusive, and imaginative. His first and only objective on stage is to be funny. Any other reaction is not the intended result.