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As adolescents make the challenging journey from childhood towards adulthood one of their tasks is to find their identity. Being age fourteen is recycling age two so there is a lot of saying “no” and being oppositional that goes with the teen years. For that two-year-old and the adolescent the “no’s” are about defining themselves and asserting their power. They are in a process of separating themselves from what their parents want from them.

We live in a time and place where there are many more doors open for women. In the work world, there are many fields that are available that were not open in the past. One hundred years ago the only jobs that women could have were all nurturer roles: mother, teacher or nurse.

It is virtually impossible to leave childhood without incurring some kinds of trauma. There are some traumas that don’t easily fit into what most people think of as traumas, such as developmental trauma.

Couples often co-habitat, share finances, or even share children before marriage. For those that are interested in getting married pre-marital counseling is a good place to explore what is working and perhaps not working before taking a next step in their commitment.

In some way, Men carry shame simply for being male. Images abound for men to make them feel inadequate: Examples are everywhere for men to compare themselves to guys with ripped bodies, driving expensive cars and if they ever come home it is to big houses and loving wives and well-mannered kids. These men are always successful, happy and strong.

Psychodrama is a form of group therapy created by J.L. Moreno. He was one of the founders of group psychotherapy and held the belief that therapy done in a group was the optimal way to help people heal. He believed that our families were our first groups where we were injured in childhood and felt another group would be the best vehicle for healing

At some point in the therapy process clients will ask me,” what is psychotherapy and how does it work?”They have been coming faithfully and are delving into the issues they want to address: grief, loss, marital issues, etc. They want to see the bigger picture.

The series revolves around the head coach of the Dillon Panthers, Eric Taylor, and his wife Tami. It explores the intersecting lives and relationships of the Dillon High School students as they struggle toward adulthood.

All relationships start from a place of effortless intimacy. It is exhilarating to talk for hours on end, disclosing your innermost thoughts, dreams and desires. It is like someone you have been waiting for your whole life has finally arrived.

As we approach the new year it is a good time to look back and to look ahead. First to look back at this last year and review what worked well in your relationship and where improvements can be made in the new year.

With the couples I see there is one area that we always need to focus on: clear communication. The root of so much that causes distance and hurt in relationships is miscommunication. Patterns seem to becomes habitual over time and never get corrected so that the couple is left wondering what their partner meant or what they really want.couples

It is said that couples often come to couple’s therapy too late. They wait too long to seek help which makes it unlikely they will achieve good outcomes. In part, the problem is that they come in “in crisis.” That means they have used up any reserves of good will and patience to deal with one another. They most likely have been miscommunicating for a long time and both are feeling misunderstood, taken for granted, etc. One person may have started an affair to find some place where they do feel understood and cared for.

You don’t have to look very far to see “the immature masculine” or “toxic masculinity” rampant in our culture Men commonly put down any sign of “weakness” or sensitivity in other men starting in boyhood and effectively police their behavior by shaming or bullying them. Being a “real man” gets equated with suffering pain, never showing vulnerability or any feelings besides anger.

Some couples come to see me knowing that they are on thin ice and want to explore if their marriage is salvageable. We look at the things that drew them together; what was attractive and engaging about the other and what dreams they shared when they began. I have them make an inventory to see if there is enough good left to make it worthwhile to work on.

A paramount concern for someone entering psychotherapy is how to choose the right therapist. It is a daunting task and if you keep the following suggestions in mind they can help you on your journey to finding the right person for you.

First of all, let’s start with a definition of shame. Shame is the feeling that you can get that at your core you are bad. A bad person. It differs from guilt in that guilt is a feeling you get after you have done something you feel bad about. Shame is about you, your being, not your actions.