Tag Archives: Parenting

This is some stuff I found helpful, challenging, interesting, or amusing today that I think may enrich your day as well...

How Can The Church Thrive In A Non-Christian World?
–Ed StetzerMany of our churches stand as visible reminders that we’ve valued our sub-cultures more than the people to whom we’ve been sent, and we’ve refused to change. We’d rather do things how grandma did them than care about reaching her grandkids.

Culture is always changing. Always. You can resist it or ignore it or grieve it or wish it weren’t so, but that won’t make it any less real. And the more we insist on doing “business as usual” in our churches, the more we’ll find ourselves being ineffective…

…Contextualizing the gospel message doesn’t make it less distinct. It simply amplifies what makes it distinct. People shouldn’t come into our churches and primarily find the culture bizarre. They should find the message of the gospel bizarre.

We don’t contextualize to minimize the confrontational claims of Christianity, but to maximize them. It’s a matter of putting the gospel into language that our neighbors can hear and understand.

I grew up camping with my family and so did my kids…

3 Things Camping Has Taught Me About Parenting
–Michael KelleyOur family has steadily accumulated gear. We’ve learned the tricks of the campsite and what the true essentials are (at least for our family). And now, these several years later, we are more or less a camping family. Don’t misunderstand – we’re not hiking miles onto the Appalachian Trail and hunting squirrels for dinner. But we did buy a French press for coffee in the mornings. We’ve made a pretty good run at many of the state parks of Tennessee, and every time we go we build some good and lasting memories for our family.

But not only has camping caused us to gather some really cool stuff we keep in the garage, it’s also taught us some good lessons about parenting in general. Here are three of them…

Sure there are things about the past that I miss, but…

Don’t Let Nostalgia Overcome Your Hope –Trevin WaxThe pull of the past is a good yet dangerous thing. Its force can either serve as a slingshot, whereby we pull back into the past in order to gain the force necessary to be propelled forward on our mission. Or its force can serve as a black hole that sucks up all our energy and emotion, until our present and future are swallowed up in a void of hopelessness.

How can we tell the difference?…

The idea that we can implement the same measures and methods as previous generations, in spite of how our cultural moment has changed, is to give in to the black hole of nostalgia. It is the choice between living in the past and learning from it…

“In nostalgia, one sacrifices the present and the possibility of the future as one squats in the past. Nostalgia implies that God is present in one moment and not another, or more perniciously, that one prefers to be in a previous, unlivable moment more than the one God has brought them to now.”

Seriously!

…We’re living in a comedy, friends, not a tragedy, that ends with a massive, jubilant wedding between Christ and his bride, the church. Someday we’re going to sit down to a giddy feast with our sisters and brothers. We’re going to sing songs and tell stories and jokes, likely even with a little hyperbole and satire. But I’m not waiting until then. I’m rejoicing now.

…This Reuters report, as carried by Religion News Service, notes that this action – the removal of the county-clerk signature slot – was the goal of Davis and her legal team all along. That’s good.

But what is still missing? If this is the case, then that means that the infamous Rowan County clerk’s primary goal was not – wait for it – stopping gay marriages from taking place in Kentucky.

Yes, Davis was opposed to gay marriage. However, from Day 1, her legal team backed a plan that would have immediately have made it possible for gay couples to receive signed marriage licenses in every county in the state. My point, once again: How is that not a victory for same-sex couples in Kentucky?…

…Here is my question: If we live in an age in which many complain that political compromise – often evidence of genuine tolerance – is all but impossible, does it make matters better or worse if journalists ignore, or mangle, stories about efforts among Democrats and Republicans seeking compromise?

It’s not, it’s really not…

How do I know? Because the founding document that provides the framework for all laws, rules, decisions and regulations ever passed, enacted or handed down by the Executive, Legislative and Judicial branches of government nowhere mentions Christianity.*

It doesn’t even mention God. Not once…

…This is a wonderful country to live in, with a constitution that provides more for the benefit of its citizens than most people could ever imagine possible. But while these are blessings from God when carried out to help people, that doesn’t make this a Christian nation.

After all, nations aren’t believers in Jesus. People believe in Jesus. And that’s how God builds the kingdom of Christ. Through his people.

Been there. And it’s worth the time, energy, and effort…

We all need to improve. We all need to go to the “next level.” But there’s something you can’t forget: Your goal isn’t to build a team that outsiders are impressed with. Your goal is to build people. Your people. The people you have right in front of you…

For future reference…

One of my favorite authors explains…

Why I Write –Philip Yancey I know no more isolated occupation than writing. “We read to know that we’re not alone,” said one of the students tutored by C. S. Lewis in the movie Shadowlands. Yes, and we write in desperate hope that we’re not alone, hoping that the sometimes-tedious tasks of researching, composing, and polishing words will eventually become a virtual chain that links us to others….

…Again and again God has surprised me by using words written with mixed motives by my impure self to bear fruit in ways I never could have imagined.

That looks like the attitude among most mainstream media, 15 years later. We know that Omar Mateen, who killed 49 people at an Orlando gay club, was Muslim and anti-gay. But what exactly does Islam say about homosexuality?

But few have ventured into the minefield where Muslim communities border homosexuality. And of those that do, most concentrate on LGBT Muslims themselves…

…news media will have matured in their coverage of Muslim beliefs and practices only when they can be scrutinized as closely as those of Jewish and Christian communities are.

Some really good thoughts here…

Raising Christian Kids in a Public School –Melissa EdgingtonI have read many a blog filled with opinions that say homeschooling is the only way to take your Christian parenting responsibilities seriously, but I respectfully disagree. Homeschooling is wonderful. Most of the time. For some kids. In certain situations. But, public school can also be a great experience for your kids and you, even if you are a Christian family wanting to raise your kids to be godly people.

So, I thought I would quickly outline a few things that I believe have helped us teach our children about the gospel and about the Christian worldview, even while they attend public school.

I highly recommend this article. It is thorough, so it might take more than 3 minutes to read, but it will give you plenty to consider…

Conservative evangelicals must not concede to Trump simply to stop Clinton from being elected. In fact, the best way forward for conservative evangelicals is to refuse to submit to a Trump nomination and to focus on down-ticket elections, local government, and community flourishing…

…There are no good political options for evangelical Christians in 2016, but we have a critical opportunity to stand by the convictions we have proclaimed and to do so in a way that offers other Americans an alternative political imagination, one committed to principled pluralism, to the flourishing of local communities, and to the common good.

None of these viable options will be easy, cheap, or quick, but the mess that we are witnessing right now cannot be seen as merely “politics as usual.” If we delude ourselves into voting Trump because “it’s just politics,” we will end up with unjust politics.

This makes a lot of sense to me…

#1 reason why churches have lost millennials –Alan RudnickAn enormous amount of time has been spent trying to figure out the cultural reasons for “the Millennial departure” that churches have not really looked at the impact of parents. For those parents who had religion shoved down their throats in the 1950’s, 60’s, and 70’s, it is obvious why those older adults are disenfranchised with Christianity. This in turn has produced the, “I’ll let my kid decide for him/herself” mentality. Historically, families have handed down family traditions for thousands of years. Now, faith practices and beliefs are considered to be too indoctrinating for children.

Have trouble connecting worship with real life? Check out this beautiful reflection on Psalm 34…

What kind of faith is that? –Mary GrahamWhen his plans and my plans don’t match up, no matter how many times I’ve learned this lesson before, it still smarts. But I know I have to worship and praise through the stress, through the disappointment, and through the storms. Because if I only praise him when things are going my way, what kind of faith is that?

If you are a worship leader, and you’re not thinking about this every week, you’re not doing your job…

The Form Is Forming Us: What Are We Encountering In Corporate Worship? –David SantistevanSometimes I wonder if our worship services are only making us dissatisfied – too dependent on music and massive, sensational experiences. It’s like we become addicted to professional leadership, talent and high energy – to the point that our attention spans can’t handle anything else.

Do we crave “great worship” more than we crave a great God? Do we talk more about the worship experience than we do the perfections of our Savior?

Are we encountering the risen Jesus or simply a man-made experience?…

…Are our modern worship experiences preparing us for true discipleship or disappointment?

This is the stuff I found helpful, challenging, interesting, or amusing today that I think may enrich your day as well...

This is so good!
If you read only one of these links, read this one…

A Pharisee in Tax Collector’s Clothing –Barnabas PiperWe have learned to revel in our weakness, to lead with our flaws. We call it “authenticity” – we are real in what we reveal. We aren’t hypocrites; hypocrisy is the new unforgiveable sin. We are the tax collector, or at least we play one on TV. We are so elated in our role as tax collector we, well, we can’t help but be a bit smug that we’re not like that person. That judgmental jerk on Twitter. That fundamentalist crank. That whoever-is-on-the-other-side-of-my-ideological-fence.

By becoming the tax collector we have become the Pharisee. In pursuing the position of authenticity we have puffed ourselves up. In distancing ourselves from those with whom we differ we have revealed our true selves…

…Which posture do we find ourselves taking – “I am so glad I am not like _____” or “Have mercy on me, a sinner.” We cannot do both.

I think about this every time my grandson asks to play ball or throw a Frisbee with me…

5 reasons why throwing a ball matters –Jamie Dew5. Most of all, taking the time to invest in your child by throwing a ball, or anything like this, shows them that they mean something to you and that you love them. There’s hardly anything more important to them that you can show them.

The title alone makes this piece worthwhile…

God Values Those who Don’t Share His Values
–Michael KelleyThis parable powerfully portrays the value God places on those who don’t share his values. This posture of gracious pursuit stands in stark contrast to the separatist Pharisees who refused to associate with any such “sinners” in the name of honoring the Lord through personal holiness.

Can you believe it? Can you believe that God’s posture towards sinners is one in which He diligently pursues them for His joy? If so, you will have joy yourself, and will mirror this same posture to the lost.

You will value those who do not share your core values.

I’ve never understood why so many people want to sit at the back for church worship services…

Why I Sit At the Front –Tim ChesterWhenever I find myself at the back of church meeting I feel like I’m hedging my bets. I kind of involved, but I’m also detached. I don’t know what comes first for most people – the half-hearted participation or the sitting at the back. But I notice that it’s the people at the back who are more likely to be looking at their phones during the meeting. Certainly for me sitting at the back makes me feel detached. I feel like an observer.

And why would you want that? Speaking for myself, I need to the public preaching of God’s word, corporate acts of confession, affection-stirring singing. I can’t afford to be peripheral to these moments because that makes them peripheral to my life.

This is the stuff I found helpful, challenging, interesting, or amusing today that I think may enrich your day as well...

I appreciated this thoughtful reflection…

Confessions of a Media-Protective Parent
–Michelle Van Loon“We didn’t say “no” to everything our kids wanted to watch or listen to, nor did we want to. Our hope was that, if we could land somewhere between the extremes—of passive, uncritical consumption, or blocking all pop culture with ironclad filters—our kids would learn to think critically with music and media…

…There is a time to shelter, a time to expose, and it takes supernatural wisdom to know the difference. This wisdom is at the heart of Philippians 4:8 and makes outsiders of each one of us who follows Jesus, whether we know all the words to Purple Rain or not.”

Are you “Pro-Life” or just “Anti-Abortion”?

Pro-Life from Womb to Tomb –Marshall Segal“Developing a heart for human life, all human life, from a vision and reality like this will radically transform and inspire how we treat people — of every age, every ethnic background, every socioeconomic status. The cause for life began at creation, when God made man and woman in his image, and gave us dominion over every other created thing. And God punctuated the cause for life when he chose to enter the womb himself for our sake…

…Léonce says, “I think there’s a big difference between being anti-abortion and pro-life. Anti-abortion means you have a conviction that it is murder to kill a child in the womb. It’s a good position. But to be pro-life means that you not only want that child to enter the world, but that you want that child to thrive when they enter the world. . . . It’s not just about getting children into the world, but about making sure they flourish as human beings once they’re here.”

I think every worship leader struggles with this question from time to time…

Am I a Hypocrite? –Michael Farren“Even after all my years of leading worship, knowing full well that it has nothing to do with my worth or perfection, I will admit to still wrestling the question of hypocrisy every time I step onto the stage in a broken or messy state of being.

But it’s not just a worship pastor problem. I would make a very unscientific yet experienced observation that roughly half of all attendees walk into church on any given Sunday feeling more or less hypocritical…

…Harsh as it may sound, for the first time ever I now see that there are way more hypocrites at home on Sunday than are sitting in the pews. And I’d rather stand with my hands raised next to messy, broken, yet hope filled people, than become a hypocrite. I refuse to let the enemy blackmail me with his lies and accusations…if we have placed our belief in the goodness and kindness of the one true God, let’s stop behaving in a way that disagrees with that belief.”

There is a lot of information in this article to digest and I think it’s worth whatever time it takes…

Alarmism And Transgendered Kids –Rod Dreher
“This is what’s happening now. The current state of scientific research says that most kids’ — 75 percent — gender dysphoria resolves (the kids are likely to end up identifying as gay or bisexual). But that is extremely politically incorrect — so much so that respected scientists lose their jobs over taking that position…

…This is where we are: a culture driven by the politics of transgender activists…Activists are writing the policies. Activists are driving the media and academic culture…

…Ten, twenty years from now, there are going to be a lot of maimed, broken people staggering around. This episode in history will be looked back on with horror. We will wonder how we gave in to such madness, and harmed so many people, or allowed them to harm themselves. Doctors, activists, celebrities, the media, and politicians will bear so much guilt, but probably little blame. It will all go down the memory hole. Progressives in the future will say of the transgender madness, “How were we to know?”

But I need help. I know I need help. There are times I hurt badly and seek answers. I was hoping to find some of those answers at church. I was hoping to meet people who cared. I was hoping to be in place where I am treated with dignity and care.”

This link is basically a compilation of other links and articles, some of which I’ve already shared, that seek to provide help for the Christian voter in this hard-to-figure-out election. Lots of wisdom here…

Many of us have been prayerfully asking ourselves that question. And we’ve been seeking wise counsel. In today’s post, I’ve collated online counsel that can be helpful to us as we seek to address the issue of Trump, Clinton, and the Evangelical Christian Voter…

While I don’t have sons, and I don’t necessarily agree with every single piece of advice, I loved this article. Below are three of my favorites.

“People don’t look bad in photos because they “aren’t photogenic”; they look bad in photos because they think they are better looking than they are. Don’t be one of these people. Embrace and own the degree to which you are funny looking. It gives you personality, and it will cause you to be pleasantly surprised by your reflection in the mirror now and then.”

“If peanut butter could only be found in the placenta of a rare tropical bird, it would cost $1,000 per ounce. Sure, caviar tastes good, but so does peanut butter. People are irrationally attracted to that which is scarce, because scarce things function as status symbols. If you understand the elements of human behavior that are irrational and predictable, you are freed from them and can benefit from the insight.”

On being treated like an adult –Seth Godin
“It’s great to dream like a kid, but no fun to be treated like one. It bristles because we feel that, even if the person involved has best intentions, we’ve outgrown being treated like a child. Some behaviors to consider if you want to avoid this situation…”

This is the stuff I found helpful, challenging, interesting, or amusing today that I think may enrich your day as well...

I’ve enjoyed N.D. Wilson’s insightful and reflective writing for some time now. I appreciate very much what he says here about children’s literature..

Why I Write Scary Stories for Children –N.D. Wilson“I write violent stories. I write dark stories. I write them for my own children, and I write them for yours. And when the topic comes up with a radio host or a mom or a teacher in a hallway, the explanation is simple. Every kid in every classroom, every kid in a bunk bed frantically reading by flashlight, every latchkey kid and every helicoptered kid, every single mortal child is growing into a life story in a world full of dangers and beauties. Every one will have struggles and ultimately, every one will face death and loss.

There is absolutely a time and a place for The Pokey Little Puppy and Barnyard Dance, just like there’s a time and a place for footie pajamas. But as children grow, fear and danger and terror grow with them, courtesy of the world in which we live and the very real existence of shadows. The stories on which their imaginations feed should empower a courage and bravery stronger than whatever they are facing. And if what they are facing is truly and horribly awful (as is the case for too many kids), then fearless sacrificial friends walking their own fantastical (or realistic) dark roads to victory can be a very real inspiration and help…

…But the goal isn’t to steer kids into stories of darkness and violence because those are the stories that grip readers. The goal is to put the darkness in its place.”

She’s going to be on the $20 bill, click on this link for a little bit about why…

I’ve used movie scenes as sermon illustrations many times. But I think this article makes some excellent points for reconsidering that practice…

Should You Use Illustrations from Movies? –Jesse Johnson“A good friend of mine asked me what I think of pastors using illustrations from movies in their sermons. My friend uses them because he thinks they are helpful in relating to a culture that increasingly has their worldview formed through entertainment.

But I don’t buy it. In my experience, illustrations sparked by the golden screen (or Netflix, or what have you) generally fail, and are almost always unhelpful.

Here are some reasons why…”

This excellent insight isn’t just for pastor’s wives,but for everyone who serves regularly in their church…

Pastor’s Wife, Don’t Just Give to the Church
–Christine Hoover“But sometimes I am almost so robotically tuned to “giving” mode that I forget how much I need the ministry of the church myself. I don’t mean that I forget I have needs; I’m well aware of them. I mean that I overestimate my importance in the church and underestimate the importance others are intended to have in my life according to God’s design for the church. This is a dangerous perspective for any leader in the church.

Because here’s what happens. When I wake up on Sunday morning after a busy weekend or with a heavy heart and know deep down that I have nothing in my flesh to give to others, it can be very difficult to prepare my heart and mind for church. Rather going to church with a prayerful expectancy to enjoy the mutual ministry of the Body, I’m prone to self-condemnation because of my weakness, grumbling, and hiding my needs from others. It’s a self-protective, just-get-through-church perspective, because it requires me to be strong and to give but never receive.”

For the good of the country…

My Papa (pronounced “PAH-paw”) passed away while I was in college. I have some very vivid memories of him. None of them bad. I’m certainly not saying he was the perfect man. I am saying that I can’t think of a single unpleasant memory of my Papa.

He let me drive the tractor.

He let me drink his beer.

He let me help him dig potatoes.

He could blow his nose without a tissue or handkerchief. Just let it fly! This was truly impressive to me. It wasn’t, however, nearly as impressive to my mom when I tried it at home. Possibly because I was indoors at the time, but I can’t be sure.

He let me beat him at Checkers. (I thought I was just that good.)

It seems like he always had time for me.

I always loved the times I got to spend the night at Papa’s house. After spending the day exploring his farm and the woods behind it, or “helping” with some chores, I have memories of sitting in front of the fire in their little farm house and eating popcorn out of a huge bowl. I can still feel what it was like to climb up the steep steps to go to bed in the big feather bed. Well, it seemed big to me at the time.

When I’m with my grandkids I often think about what they will remember about me after they’ve grown. I find that I intentionally say and do things in the hope that it will be a memory they will hold dearly long after I’m gone. I suppose that’s silly in a way, because I know they will end up with lifetime memories of things that I likely will have forgotten by next week.

This is the stuff I found helpful, challenging, interesting, or amusing today that I think may enrich your day as well…

5 Places to Look When You Don’t Know Where to Turn
–Michael Kelley“These are the times when you truly do not know what the next step is; when anxiety is closing in; when everywhere seems like darkness that you can’t get through; when you don’t know where to turn.

That’s why the Bible tells us to “look.” Here are five places you can focus your gaze during those times – when you don’t know where to turn…”

This article resonated with me for two obvious reasons: my two beautiful daughters…

To Your Daughter, Speak the Truth –Jen Wilkin“…tell her she’s beautiful. She won’t believe you, any more than we believed our own fathers and mothers. But she will hear it from someone who genuinely means it, with no ulterior motive. She will hear it from you first. And that matters.

Because you don’t want her to hear it from someone else first.

Your daughter knows when you tell her “You’re beautiful” that what you mean is “You’re beautiful to me.” And though initially she may perceive this to be the most well-meaning lie ever told to her, in time she will grow to recognize it as the most basic truth she can ever hear you speak: No matter what anyone else sees when they look at you, I see you when I look at you, and I say that what I see is beautiful. The end.”

I had no idea this existed. Would love to see it…

How 43 Giant, Crumbling Presidential Heads Ended Up in a Virginia Field –Jennifer Billock“In Croaker, Virginia stands a sight that would make just about anyone stop in their tracks. 43 ghostly effigies of presidents past crowd together in the tall grass. Some of the 18-to-20-foot busts have crumbling noses. Tear-like stains fall from the eyes of others. All have bashed-in heads to some degree. This could be a scene from the world’s most patriotic horror movie, but it’s all too real—and Howard Hankins’ family farm is just the latest stop on the busts’ larger-than-life journey from iconic pieces of art to zombie-like markers of America’s past.”

“Failure isn’t a necessary evil. In fact, it isn’t evil at all.It is a necessary consequence of doing something new.”
-Ed Catmull

Is this sign necessary?

You can leave for no more the 15 minutes, then you’d better get your car back here…