Assisted Living: The Musical®

Music, Lyrics, & Book by Rick Compton & Betsy Bennett

Run Time: 1 hr 15 min

Cast Size: 1F, 1M (Flexible)

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Welcome to Pelican Roost, the party school of retirement communities. This show tells the tales Granny will never tell.Pelican Roost is a place where buffoonery lives next door to screwball, just across the way from cockamamie! The show’s host couple enters heaven, suspecting their son pulled the plug to get his hands on Dad’s vintage Corvette. They don’t seem to mind—instead they take the audience on an uproarious journey that celebrates the latter years. This vaudeville-esque revue will knock you off your rocker!

Synopsis

Everyone knows an eccentric or two. In maturity, these eccentrics often bloom into full-fledged wackos.

Assisted Living: The Musical® is a seventy-five minute parade of such wackos, displayed in sketch and song. They are Lothario and lawyer, nurse and neurotic, golfers, gropers, and a retired Catskills comic. There are those who recall their youth with body art and those who regain it behind the wheel.

There are no sad songs, no Depends® jokes and no f-bombs.

A show just for old folks? Is Oklahoma! just for cowboys? Fiddler just for Jewish musicians? Rent just for people who don’t own their own homes?

This show is for everyone who hopes to grow old with laughter and joy… including you.

THE STORY

Heaven’s pretty nice, it would seem, but it’s nothing compared to Pelican Roost. "Everything Is Swell When You’re In Pelican Roost" is about a retirement community where buffoonery lives next door to screwball, just across the way from cockamamie.

“Aging,” our host explains, “is not the same as maturing.”

For example, what happens when the skirts become too quick for the chaser? In "Help! I’ve Fallen (For You) And I Can’t Get Up", he upgrades. But HoverRounds® have needs, too. His needs charging.

He gives way to Naomi Lipshitz-Yamamoto-Murphy, who not only lives here, “I sell here.” She’s a Realtor®, and happy to explain The Roost’s many amenities. Something for everyone, she promises: banjos for the hearing-impaired, Rush Limbaugh for the memory-impaired, water aerobics for…

Naomi, however, is not fond of “the spa, with all those mirrors.” My Hide is her description of what’s sagging, and how it can be fixed.

If Gilbert and Sullivan had paid homeowner’s fees, they’d have written "The Owners Association", a topsy-turvy story of altruism, disillusionment, and intercontinental escape.

"Goin’ Mobile", is a classic doo-walk song where tennis balls are the new tennis shoes.

"Golf Cart Seduction" will make you smell that new cart smell again. Sleazy Guy oils his way through a description of his custom golf cart. It has seats that recline… all the way back.

Naomi Lipshitz-Yamamoto-Murphy returns to pitch the housing opportunities at The Roost. She herself has upgraded… three times.

She wonders if it may be time to upgrade again, this time to "Our Senior Resort Style Home". There, every palm tree has a 911-telephone.

You can trust this character… cuz he’s a Lawyer! In "Injury Remembrance", he promises to get you money from injuries you do not even remember.

Mix the Love-The-One-You’re-With Generation with some drug-induced confidence, stir in a little no-pregnancy and heat it all in a cauldron of lots-of-free-time. It’s "Vernon’s Burnin’ Passion". Can ya feel it? I knew ya could!

Perhaps he’s just missed his dose of Ativan, but a manic attack is only one of the symptoms this Im-Patient Man feels he feels in "Hypochondriacal".

Poetry Corner is not where you expect to find drug dealing, sabotage and murder. But in "The Battle of Room 109", Poetry Woman plays for keeps.

In "A Ton-And-A-Half Of Cadillac Steel", Nicholas Dent, 93, has found his car keys again. Last time, he reinterpreted the term “Drive Thru Window.” This time, both his blues and his driving are reminiscent of Ray Charles.

Naomi Lipschitz-Yamamoto-Murphy talks about her real estate clients. In her mind, a cigar is never just a cigar.

You can trust this character… cuz he’s a Lawyer! In "Legal Karma", he promises to get you money from lawyers who promise to get you money… even himself.

"The Tattoo" exposes that neither body art nor regrets are limited to Millennials.

"The Uplifting Viagra Medley" is a Kama Sutra of sing-along-song bits from the whole cast. You’ll get by with a little help cuz your boyfriend’s back from Blueberry Hill in Chicago where there’s no agra like vi-agra, like no agra I know. Up, up and away!

"The AARP" wants you. And it wants you to know it. Even after it gets you. Everybody sings this call-and-response gospel paean to the organization most responsible for the continued operation of the US Postal Service. Now, join. No, really. It’s required.

Good Roosters return to heaven, and that’s what ours do in "Pelican Roost Finale". When they hear that bell a’tollin’, they go out rock and rollin’, cuz everything is swell at Pelican Roost.

But Wait!!!

The final sacrament comes… in a chapel... where they go… to get buried. Everyone sings. Everywhere.

More Info

The Man (Bari-tenor, B3b to F4) is a 55+ active retiree. Everyman, in Bermuda shorts.

The Woman (Alto, E3 to E5b) is a 55+ active retiree. A frisky optimist with a secret tattoo.

Randy Man (Baritone, F3 to F4) is a 55+ ladies’ man with a power problem

Naomi Lipschitz-Yamamoto-Murphy (Mezzo, G3 to B5b) is a 55+ nicotine-drenched real estate yenta whose clients want to get their hands on more than just real estate…or so she believes. She shows ‘em around The Roost and she’s always on the lookout for an upgrade, as her last names would imply.

Hungry Man (Bari-tenor, C4 to F4) is a 55+ beta male with a biting issue.

Rick Compton and Betsy Bennett are Compton & Bennett. They have been writing and performing original shows since 1995, plowing the fertile fields of political and social satire in and around Naples, Florida.

Betsy is a life-long theatre denizen, starting professionally in summer stock when she was 15. She has a theatre degree from Albion College, and followed that with an internship at Playwrights Horizons in New York City.

Betsy co-founded Arcane Theatriks, a professional company in Chicago. She is a member of The Dramatists Guild.

Rick leads the creative life since escaping from the corporate world in 1988.

Rick’s won several regional awards for magazine articles and is a member of The Dramatists Guild.

Performance Royalties are based on theater particulars. Please fill out an application for a personalized quote.

Billing responsibilities, pertinent copyright information, and playwrights' biographies are available in the show rider that comes with your license agreement. To download the show rider for Assisted Living The Musical®, click here.

“Hilarious!”–Naples Daily News

“Lively and WICKEDLY FUNNY.”–Examiner.com

“I laughed, I cried, I almost died! OUTRAGEOUSLY FUNNY.”–Rossmoor News

“DELIGHTFUL!”–Bay Times

“Audiences are laughing so hard they cry.”–Associated Press

“A Wonderful Time…”–BBC Radio

“A Laugh Riot!”–KGO Radio

Materials: your materials will be sent to you two months prior to your opening date and will include everything necessary for your production and can be ordered in Printed or Digital format. Printed Materials are provided on unbound three-hole punched loose-leaf paper while Digital Materials are provided via email as downloadable PDF files for you to print in-house. All materials are yours to keep! No deposits, no returns.

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Other Versions

Available Products

Assisted Living: The Musical®

Music, Lyrics, & Book by Rick Compton & Betsy Bennett

PDF Perusal Script of ASSISTED LIVING. Download instantly in the "My Products" or “My Perusals” section of your account. Not intended for production purposes.

7.00

Manuscript PDF of ASSISTED LIVING, score sampler with selections from the score and a reference recording (if available). Download instantly in the "My Products" or “My Perusals” section of your account. Not intended for production purposes.

20.00

Printed manuscript of ASSISTED LIVING, score sampler with selections from the score and a reference recording (if available). Printed on three-hole-punched paper; reference recordings on CD. Shipped within 3 business days. Not intended for production purposes.

30.00

A beautifully bound edition of ASSISTED LIVING shipped within 3 business days of purchase. Not intended for production purposes.

9.95

Original Cast Recording of ASSISTED LIVING on CD. Shipped within 3 business days.

22.00

Product

Description

Price

PDF Perusal Script of ASSISTED LIVING. Download instantly in the "My Products" or “My Perusals” section of your account. Not intended for production purposes.

$7.00

Manuscript PDF of ASSISTED LIVING, score sampler with selections from the score and a reference recording (if available). Download instantly in the "My Products" or “My Perusals” section of your account. Not intended for production purposes.

$20.00

Printed manuscript of ASSISTED LIVING, score sampler with selections from the score and a reference recording (if available). Printed on three-hole-punched paper; reference recordings on CD. Shipped within 3 business days. Not intended for production purposes.

$30.00

A beautifully bound edition of ASSISTED LIVING shipped within 3 business days of purchase. Not intended for production purposes.

$9.95

Original Cast Recording of ASSISTED LIVING on CD. Shipped within 3 business days.