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by34TH STREET

The Four People You See in Allegro

It's like the five people you meet in heaven, only better.

Wait, first off, how many of you guys caught that? Highbrow has the craziest fun fact for you: Allegro’s is actually just Allegro. Allegro Pizza and Grill. Yup, that pizza place you somehow always find yourself at at ungodly hours doesn’t have that “s” at the end. Aside from not knowing your favorite restaurant’s proper name, what else do you not know you may ask….What about the five people you always manage to see there?

Chances are you have no idea who else is in Allegro with you when you’re there: you’re simply existing in a whole other dimension. No worries though; as always, Highbrow’s here to help.

1. Hookup buddy, Ex-hookup buddy, Kind of hookup buddy

The term for what you guys are is always ambiguous. Pro tip: it’s not worth the effort to try talking to them; be ~chill~; just go with it. At this point in the night, you look like you just came out of a mosh pit, but you think you look great. Seeing your (ex/kind of) hookup buddy is sort of exciting now—much, much better than running into them sober on your mad dash to your 9 a.m. recitation in DRL. On the other hand though, will you regret the decisions you’re about to make when you wake up the next morning? Most likely, but who’s counting your Ls, right?

2. That ridiculously hot person in your recitation

For your sanity, technology needs to reach a point where you can discreetly “scan” another person to find out their basic information aka their full name. Wouldn’t that be so helpful? You’re always eyeing this one person, but it’s literally impossible to figure out their name. Your recitation TA doesn’t call on people by name; he just points. Ugh. It’s like he wants you to stay single forever. Regardless, now that they’re in Allegro, you can show them off to all your friends. Your blurry sneak Snaps don’t do them justice.

3. Your best friend

Allegro isn’t just a place for uncomfortable reunions. It’s the quintessential meeting spot to reunite with your best friend. God knows where they went and when you guys split up. Time to dive into talk of your wild night!

4. And, the absolute worst person to see at Allegro

The hot guy you saw at the Penn Vegan Society and lied to about your diet. Hide the cheese.

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