In order to be more current with the times, workers are preparing to replace The Statue of Freedom’s sword and shield with an AR-15 and a Presidential Order.

smrtcar

Recent undermining of Freedom makes her tilt to the Right. Thin guy wires used to prevent her from toppling.

Gary Enchelmaier

I keep telling him, it’s AMERICAN Indian, but he says no documents so they gotta go

Rasputin

“How do we tell him there’s no way to make her look more ‘tanned’?”

TerryIzz

You jump, I jump, right?

dcgator

-“Ok, I think we’re ready to put it up. Where’s the banner?”
.
–“I’m pretty sure I told YOU to pick it up last night.”
.
-“Sonofabitch.”

Caroline

‘Godammit. We don’t have the right size Allen wrench. Guess we have to make another trip back to ikea.’

Lola

Congressional Republicans morosely contemplate on their lives following a series of lit town halls.

Phil G

Let’s see those deportation forces get me up here!

Idontgetit

“I see London, I see France. I see rusty underpants.”

RaQin Keldra

Earlier Thursday, Nicholas Cage and an unknown accomplice search the dome of the Capitol looking for the hidden portions of the US Constitution’s 12th Amendment which enables Presidential recall elections in cases of numbskullery, duplicity, and bumbling. The documents were supposedly hidden there to protect the country from White House Chief Strategists of presidents demonstrating the above-listed traits. As of this moment, the documents remain hidden. Stay tuned for updates on this breaking story as it unfolds.