Narcissistic Observations of the World that Revolves Around Me

I love school. No, really – I do. I’m very pleased with my choice to upgrade my education. I plan on being the kickassingest holistic nutritionist on the planet – and by ‘planet’, I mean whatever tropical beach I wind up conducting my practice from.

But as I made my mark on my ‘Support The World Wildlife Fund’ designer cheque made out to the amount which supposedly guarantees an increase in intellect, my gaze drifted toward the window. As I watched the sun beaming down on the summer day, I couldn’t help but let my mind drift as well…

THINGS I COULD HAVE HAD INSTEAD OF HIGHER EDUCATION:

as previously stated – a week in Paris. *sigh*

28 bottles of Dom Perignon 1998

one-sixth of a brand-new Toyota Prius

43 skydives

enough gas to drive across Canada and back (with enough left over for pancakes if I was driving a fuel-efficient brand-new Toyota Prius)

at least one reallllly pretty dress…like, reallyreally pretty

four years’ worth of cat food for my household (the good stuff)

a down-payment on a very small house

8 months’ rent

185 seconds of J.Lo performing at a shindig (I don’t really want Jennifer Lopez performing for me, but I read in the news today that she charges 2 million dollars to perform at weddings and such. Maybe she’d screw up and you’d get, like, an extra $10,000 worth of performance by accident.)