Sunday, May 23, 2010

As I mentioned last week, I'll be back with my full -- and I do mean full -- analysis before the end of June (at the very latest), but until then I'll just say that I am extremely happy with how everything wrapped up. There wasn't a dull moment in those two and a half hours, that's for sure. And all of the incredible parallels to Season One? Amazing.

But let's get to what everyone's sure to be debating until the end of time: the last fifteen minutes. I'll admit that on my first viewing, I did not like the "twist" near the end (I'm purposely not mentioning any of the details so that those overseas who might stumble upon this post aren't inadvertently spoiled). But that's also probably because I totally misinterpreted what was going on. Then my husband, Miss M and I talked through it, watched those last fifteen minutes over again, and now I get it. And I love it.

What did you think?

Catch ya in a few weeks... and if you don't trust yourself to remember to check back, you can sign up for my emailed posts (to the right), or follow me on Twitter. Or mark your calendar for June 30 -- I should definitely be done by then.

In the meantime, I'm going to post a very short comment right now (below this post) with my understanding of what went down in the closing moments of the series. And you can of course feel free to write whatever you'd like in the comments. Which means those of you who have not seen the finale yet -- steer clear.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

I just wanted to take a few minutes to wish you all a Happy Finale Day tomorrow. As I'm sure you've heard, the West Coast feed of the show will be broadcast simultaneously in several other countries in order to help fans overseas avoid spoilers. Now, those fan are going to have to get up a 5 a.m. -- but hey, what a way to start your day, right?

Several of you have asked what I'm doing for the finale, and my answer is that I'm just keeping it low-key. My plan had always been to watch it completely alone... I guess I just wanted to feel like I had the last hours of the show all to myself or something. But then my good friend Miss M -- whom some of you might remember from my Season One and Two write-ups (I often stayed at her place in NYC when I worked for The Man) -- learned that she was going to be in Chicago this weekend, and I asked if she could extend her visit a little longer. So I'll now be watching the five-and-a-half-hour Lost extravaganza tomorrow night with her, my husband, and two of our good friends from grad school, EG and KG, who were part of my original Season One viewing crew. These four are among a handful of people in the world who've already seen me at my worst in years past, so if I completely lose it in front of them during the show and start sobbing like a fool, it's all good. They've proven they can handle it.

I decided to haul out all of my Lost memorabilia for the occasion -- I'm actually still in the process of decorating, but here are a few shots of my TV room so far:

All of my Lost action figures are off to the side, out of view. I'll make sure they have a good seat for the main event, though, so don't you worry about them. And, um, no... my manuscript isn't done yet. But sometimes I just can't sit at my laptop another second longer -- so the decorating was a nice excuse to give the ol' legs a stretch. I also took a five-minute break Friday morning to talk with the team at KPAM radio about why Lost is such a huge phenomenon -- you can take a listen here if you'd like.

OK, folks -- here's hoping for laughter and tears and gasps and lumps in the throat tomorrow evening -- as well as a feeling of happiness and satisfaction as a wonderful, life-changing ride comes to an end.

See you on the other side...- e

PS - HAPPY UPDATE: Just found out that my friend KG went into labor at midnight last night (I was convinced she was going to have her baby girl at our place during the finale... and I guess I wasn't too far off)! So she and EG will only be at my place in spirit tomorrow evening. You can rest assured that I already bought this child Lost-inspired outfits -- one features the Driveshaft logo, and the other is a onesie that says, "Don't tell me what I can't do!" Hee hee.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Those of you who've been reading my ramblings since Season One might remember that I always used to moan and groan about working for The Man. So I guess it's only fitting that as the series winds down, I start grumbling about The Man once more. This time my grievances have to do with the fact that I am being forced to watch Lost's penultimate episode ALONE because The Man is keeping my husband working very late tonight. Can you believe that? Not cool, not cool at all. I mean, my dog's here... but he's not much for theories.

Anyway, for the past week, I avoided all forms of social media, as doing so helped me to be a lot more productive (duh). But another reason I'd been steering clear of Twitter and Facebook is that I didn't want to stumble across any spoilers about this episode -- especially since it aired at the Lost Live event in LA last Thursday. But now I feel very out of touch with everything and everyone in the Lost fandom world. Hell, I didn't even know what this episode was called until I just pulled it up on the ol' DVR menu. Hmm, "What They Died For." To me that title sounds like it's promising some MAJOR, major, major answers. Answers that might tie back to that Glowing Light Cave, since one of the points of the previous episode seemed to be that Jacob must protect the Island's source of light at all costs. We'll see...

----

The episode opened with a zoom-in on Jack's eye... which is how a lot of people think the series will end. But now I doubt that will be the final scene. The cut Jack noticed on his neck when he was on Bizarro Flight 815 is open again. I thought that maybe he got that cut in "The Candidate," but since they just showed a close-up of Island Jack's un-nicked neck in the "Previously on Lost" clips, I guess not. But you know something's up with that cut and that it WILL tie back to the Island events somehow...

Jack's planning to go to his son's concert later that night, and it looks like we'll finally learn who the mysterious ex-wife is. If it's Sarah, they'd have to explain how he met her long enough ago to have David... since in the original timeline they hadn't met until she had her accident, which was either 2000 or 2001, I believe. The only major character we haven't seen in the sideways flashes so far is Juliet... but I'm still rooting for her to end up with Sawyer in the Alt, so I would kind of NOT like it if she's Jack's ex. But I think I'm going to just have to suck it up and deal with it.

Claire accepted Jack's offer and stayed over and is having some half-aunt bonding time with David. Jack leaves the table to take a call, and it was Des, pretending to be someone from Oceanic, claiming that they've finally found Christian's coffin. Des clearly wants Jack back at the airport for some reason. But ideas as to why are escaping me... the Island's underwater, so there will be no chance of Jack crashing on it again if he takes another flight. Maybe Des is going to try to mow Jack down with his car like he did to Locke in order to induce the flashes to the Island timeline?

---

Now we're back on the Island. Kate ain't lookin' too good. Jack's sewing her up just like she sewed him up in the pilot. Oh, the circle of life. Or something like that. OK, it really has nothing to do with the circle of life.

THANK YOU KATE for mentioning Ji Yeon! Now she's out for Fake Locke's blood. Awww yeah -- bring on the war!

Kate, Hurley and Sawyer stare out to sea as the wreckage from the sub -- and ironically, a life vest -- floats ashore. Jack says that they better go find Desmond before Fake Locke does, and so off they go in search of the well Sayid told Jack about.

-----

Uh-oh. We're back in the Alt, and Des looks to be gunning to run Locke over again. Wha--?? I seriously don't think I can bear to watch this. Ooh -- wait, Ben saves the day. Quite a brave move, banging on the hood, wouldn't you say? HOLY @#($*#( -- Des just gave Ben the BEATDOWN. But it brought on the flashes for our dear Dr. Linus. And I think Des said something about helping Locke to "let go."

---

Finally we see Ben, Miles and Richard on the Island again. They don't know where they are. They're still on the lookout for explosives. Ben says he has some in his secret room. Now they're back at Dharmaville, and Miles is freakin' out. Apparently they are standing over Alex's grave. I thought Miles would maybe have something else to say about Alex, but I guess not.

Now they're in the secret room. Ben kind of explains how he never was really able to summon the monster, that the monster was always "summoning him." They've -- AHHHHH!!! Widmore's on the scene! Awesomeness. I'm just happy these peeps are back on the main Island, if nothing else.

---

Ben's got a rifle on Widmore, but baldie tells that chick from Singles that he's confident Ben won't shoot him. He directs her to get stuff out of the outrigger and then sink it. (I don't think I need to mention that I'm still wondering about that outrigger shoot-out scene...). Ben asked how Widmore got to the Island, and Widmore said that Jacob visited him after the freighter was destroyed and told him everything he needed to know to come back to the Island and... do something that he didn't get to finish saying. That chick -- remembered her name! Zoe -- sees Fake Locke coming via outrigger (OK, still hope for the scene) and Widmore tells her she better bust outta there. The rest of them know they need to hide. Looks like Ben is going to trust his old foe for the time being. Especially since Widmore already thought to arm the plane with explosives. (Though WE know that Fake Locke is on to that plan.)

--

In the Alt, Ben is being stitched up. And yay! Real Locke is there. Locke's about to call the po-po on Des until Ben tells him about the "letting go" part. Locke hangs up his cell, and the scene switches over to the police station.

Des is there, and he's of course going to ask to see Sawyer, I'd bet. Miles is talking about the same concert that Jack's going to be at. So clearly a bunch of Island peeps are going to cross paths there.

I thought Des was going to be totally bold and also give Sawyer the smackdown, but instead he confessed to the hit-and-run and ends up in the back of the station... with Sayid and Kate. Ah... his plan is becoming clearer.

---

Back on the Island... Sawyer and Jack have a talk in the woods. Sawyer thinks he's responsible for killing everyone on the sub. Jack's like, "Uh-uh... still Fake Locke's fault." A little ways behind, Hurley spies Young Jacob. That little brat just stole the bag o' ashes from Hurley and ran off! Hurley chased him... and found Adult Jacob. He'd thrown the ashes in the fire and told Hurley that once the fire was out, that was it -- no more Jacob. Huh? Why even have the bag of ashes in the plot at all? I'm very confused. Jacob then speaks the obvious: "We're very close to the end." Yes, mister, we know -- there are only about three hours of the show left now. You better get on with explainin' things!

--

Fake Locke has arrived at the dock (unintentional rhyme). He takes in all of the containers on the other outrigger and keeps on walkin'. In the Barracks, everyone's spazzing out like they've never spazzed out before. Widmore wants to hide. Ben is done with the games. Miles is ready to go tearing through the jungle.

I am SERIOUSLY worried for Ben right about now. Lord help me if they kill Ben. LORD. HELP. ME. No, actually, Lord help them -- because I will find the writers responsible and it will get ugly!

Miles runs off (with a walkie-talkie, at least) and Richard says he thinks he might be able to stall for time by telling Fake Locke he'll join him. Somehow I think it's waaayy too late for Richard to do an about-face and have the MIB believe it, but who knows. Ben and Richard are venturing out into the open. Smokey sounds -- oh crap!

Please do not tell me Smokey just killed Richard. PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME SMOKEY JUST KILLED RICHARD?!? I didn't think Richard COULD be killed?

Oh no... now Ben's just sitting there, totally exposed. And MIB's got a big ol' knife. WAIT -- what?? No no NO! Ben just ratted out Widmore and said he'd do MIB's dirty deeds! I wouldn't necessarily believe the last part if he hadn't just ratted out Widmore! This is too crazy.

--

Back in the Alt, Ben's leaving school in a sling. And there's Alex. Are we gonna see Rousseau? Yay!!! And she's so pretty -- wow! That was a very cool surprise. They invite him over for dinner, "Even if we have to kidnap you." That's great. I love it.

Wow, is there gonna be a love connection between Rousseau and Ben? I actually would approve and think that's really sweet. I think Ben's Alt story is definitely my favorite. Holy holy googly eyes! There IS gonna be a love connection!

--

On the Island, Ben led Fake Locke to the secret room, and there's Zoe (looking really afraid) and Widmore. I am very, very disappointed in Ben. Yikes, bye-bye Zoe! Now MIB's threatening to kill Penny.

OK... a few minutes just passed because I was wrapped up in things. Widmore started spilling his guts to MIB and Ben stone-cold shot him! Like, multiple times! "He doesn't get to save his daughter." Shocking indeed... but what happened to "the rules"? I didn't think those two could kill each other? Or was that only off-Island? Widmore seemed pretty confident Ben wouldn't hurt him a half-hour ago...

Fake Locke said that Widmore had already told him what he needed to know. Ben's all, "Good, who else do I get to kill?" WHAT is going on? At this point I absolutely must chalk this up to really good acting on Ben's part. But I hope he knows what he's doing. And I just remembered that I think Smokey killed Richard. If that's how Richard goes out, I'm going to cry foul. Lame death for one of the best characters...

--

Now it's night and we're back with Hurley and crew. And Jacob appears to them! Now he's claiming he's going to tell them EVERYTHING. Somehow I have a feeling we're not going to be privy to that entire conversation. All that matters is that by the time the fire's out, one of them has to take Jacob's place.

--

And... here we go. Locke is in Jack's office in the Alt.

* * *

I wasn't going to type during that part, fools! Did you like Jack's shout-out to Mister Eko, "I think you're mistaking coincidence for fate." Terry O'Quinn was awesome in this scene, no? I'll admit, I got a bit teary. Maybe I can live with the Alt timeline being the surviving one. Maybe I can live with it!

---

Fireside chat with Jacob time. Oh, I guess they are showing us the conversation. He's saying he made a huge mistake way back in the day. By making the smoke monster.

I wasn't going to type during that part either, fools! I was a tad worried that they were just going to have Jacob rattle off a bunch of forced, convenient answers to about 100 mysteries, but they didn't. The reason Jacob gave for picking the 815ers (and for crossing Kate's name off) made sense, and was pretty much in line with what everyone had always figured... these were people who were "lost" and needing redemption. (I would argue that Hurley wasn't alone, however... he always had a close relationship with his mother.)

Then Jack steps up to the plate to take over as Protector of the Light, like I'm pretty sure we all thought he would. For a moment I thought there'd be a surprise and either Sawyer or Hurley would challenge him, but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen. Does Jack get to drink the Immortal Wine now?

Actually... while we're here at the commercial break -- it seems like Jacob's not really asking them to stay on the Island forever. He's asking them to kill the MIB. I think once the MIB is gone, maybe the Island won't need a protector? Maybe my sister-in-law's theory I wrote about last week was right -- if they kill the MIB, that is "the end" and then the Island timeline goes poof because they all redeemed themselves and they get to live out happy existences in the Alt?

---

We're back. I think Jacob's taking them to the Glowing Cave of Light. Uh-oh. Hurley just said, "I'm just glad it's not me." That gives me the sinking feeling that something's going to happen to Jack and it WILL be Hurley who has to take over. That line was way too out of place for it to not eventually have meaning.

Jacob and Jack are off to the side. Jacob's chanting over the stream. I guess it doesn't have to be wine. Sucks to be Jack -- he's gotta drink nasty stream water instead of wine. Yikes -- Jack's gonna become immortal!!!! "How long am I gonna have to do this job?" HA! That's great. Apparently now Jack will be able to find the secret field where the light is. "Now you're like me." Freaky.

---

Back in the Alt... Kate's pleading with Sawyer to let her go free. It didn't work. Now Des, Sayid and Kate are all in the prison van. Des is telling them a plan. The driver is Ana Lucia -- LOVE IT! She's letting them go free. I've never been so happy to see Ana Lucia. (Truth be told, I've never been happy at all to see Ana Lucia.) And Hurley's in on the gig... this is hilarious. He must have experienced Total Recall by this point, because he knows who Miss Thang is.

Hmm... I guess they are ALL going to end up at the concert. Not sure why Locke would be there, though. Or Sun and Jin.

--

Fake Locke and Ben arrive at the well. Desmond's not there. Locke claims that now he's going to use Desmond to destroy the entire Island.

And... it's over.

--

OVERALL THOUGHTS

The next-to-last episode of the season is usually always a "putting the chess pieces in play" sort of an hour, and "What They Died For" was no exception. I was expecting a little more background on "the light" from Jacob to really add some oomph to the meaning behind everyone's deaths -- to reiterate WHY it's so important to protect -- but we weren't lucky enough to get that this time around.

I called my brother after the episode was over, and he is pretty sure that Richard was probably just knocked out by Smokey, and that Richard and Miles will end up finding each other and heading out to Hydra in the outrigger just to get the hell away from the Island. He also felt there was a chance they might come across a still-alive Lapidus (since we technically never got a "death scene" for him)... but I think that's stretching it a bit. My brother thinks it'll have to be Miles that gets shot in the outrigger.

Now my bro and I are kind of on the same page whereas we weren't before... he thinks both timelines will continue to exist, while I think only one will win out. But we agree that the Losties will succeed in killing the MIB, and that will be "the end," and the fact that their happy Alt lives exist at all is their reward for the roles they played in saving the Island from its ultimate enemy. I used to not understand how this theory could apply to characters like Locke, who are dead in the current timeline. However, now my thought is that Locke did of course play a huge role -- he turned Jack into a Man of Faith, and if it weren't for Locke, Jack wouldn't have finally been able to accept that it was his destiny to take over for Jacob and save the world from destruction.

That's all I've got, folks! I intend to publish a very short post the morning after the finale, just to give people a place to leave their thoughts. There's no way I will have up my real finale post until mid-June, though. But I promise you that it will be worth the wait.

ENJOY THE FINALE!

(It really hasn't hit me that Lost is ending. But I'm sure I'll be a wreck come Sunday night.)

EDITED TO ADD: Please do not send me information about what cast members or the writers or producers have said will or will not be addressed in the show's final hours -- I've already received several comments of this nature today. I consider knowing what WON'T happen just as much of a spoiler as knowing what will -- it takes some of the mystery away. So I will not be approving any comments containing tidbits from interviews, etc. Thanks.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I had mostly positive responses to last week's real-time blog, so I'm doing it again tonight.

Here we go!

---

Some chick is floating at sea. I am pretty sure it's Jacob and the MIB's mommy.

Now she's washed up on shore. And pregnant. Yep, it's Mama! Maybe she was the FIRST person to have ever landed there? Now some other chick is offering to help. She looks familiar -- like she was one of the professors in the Harry Potter series or something. No idea what language that is. They're now eating, and Mama's name is Claudia. Uh... now a switch to English? What up with that? Who cares, it's easier for us. The other chick is saying she also got there "by accident." I think that other chick is the original Rousseau-like badass of the Island. I also realized it is Allison Janney, who was on The West Wing, but I never watched that show, hence my confusion.

Uh-oh... labor time. It's a boy... and I'm pretty sure another one will be coming REAL soon. Cause, um, that belly's still quite large. Yep, duh. Well, even though that chick's name is NOT Rebekah, I'm still wondering if we're gonna finally hear if this is Esau. DAMMIT - she only picked one name. I'm loving the light and dark wraps for the two babies.

UH --- WHAT?!?! Claudia just got straight-up STONED by that Rousseau lady. The crunches were enough for me -- didn't need to see anything at all for that to be waaaay too gruesome for my liking.

It's a commercial break and I just want to say that I think it'll be hilarious if we never learn MIB's name. I don't think we will. I never thought we were going to, anyway.

---

OK, now some kid's on the beach and found a weird brick thingy. He's in black so it's gotta be MIB. And yep, there's Jacob, and the box is a game. And those kids aren't very strong actors.

(BTW, this confirms that the blond kid we've seen recently in present-time on the Island IS Young Jacob, as many of us thought.)

Now Jacob's back with Crazy Fake Mama and she's weaving. Jacob's not a very good liar. Next... Crazy Mama's with MIB on the beach and I was happy to see that sea turtle because those sea turtles really do hang out on that beach in Oahu! That was probably the producers' little shout-out to the turtles and/or locals in Hawaii. Classy. Anyway, Crazy Mama tells Lil' MIB (that sounds like an awesome new rapper) that Jacob "doesn't know how to lie... he's not like you."

She told Lil' MIB he was "special." And that there was nowhere else but the Island, and that he didn't have to worry about dying. But Lil' MIB sure was asking a lotta questions. Methinks he got all the brains in the family.

---

Next we see the two young bros enjoying a boar-chasing session through the jungle. Yet someone else spears the boar before them. Clearly in all their years they've never encountered anyone else on the Island. I think the dude they see through the foliage looks like Desmond's old hatch partner, Kelvin. But it was hard to see. All I know is that those peeps had on funky clothes with sweet, HUGE belts that would put any cowboy in Texas to shame. And I'm not really sure what they did with that boar.

The boys run to tell their Fake Mom what they just saw. Lil' MIB is asking a TON of questions again. But Mama just blindfolds them and is leading them somewhere else. She ... uh, wait. What is THIS? What is this glowing light cave?

HOLY HOLY HOLY MOTHER there are going to be elves!!!! I TOLD YOU PEOPLE!! I bet it's just like Lothlorien from Lord of the Rings in that cave. And it is going to rock.

OK, maybe not. But that light thing is really reminding me of the Pulp Fiction briefcase. This is quite a bizarre turn for the show. So is Crazy Mama like a witch or sorceress or something? Was she ALWAYS there? How can she make it so her "sons" can't hurt each other? And a warm glowing light that is in each person that they have to protect? Um... that's NOT the way I thought this show was gonna go! Fo' sho! But you know me, I can roll with it. It helps that I believe in that kind of stuff. Anyway, one of the two bros is going to have to be the Protector of the Light. We all know who it's going to end up being. I bet we're soon going to learn WHY it was him.

---

Commercial break: I'm sure you guys all caught that Mama gave the same speech the MIB did in the Season Five finale about how men come to the Island and corrupt things and it "always ends the same," right?

Right now I'm wondering why she doesn't want them to know that there's anything outside of the Island. I mean, I guess she just never wants them to leave... but I'm wondering if it's because she HAS been off of the Island and knows what "the real world" is like... or if she has always been on the Island and is therefore just afraid of the unknown.

----

Now the bros are playing the black/white stone game again. They're talking about "rules" and how one day Jacob can make up his own game and his own rules. (Was that just THE explanation for The Rules?)

Yo -- Lil' MIB just saw Real Mom. Jacob can't see her because she's dead... yet Lil' MIB can. Hmmm. She's taking him across the Island to "show him where he came from." Now he's looking at a little hut village. Real Mom is droppin' ALL sorts of knowledge on poor Lil' MIB. I feel pretty bad for him, actually. He knows his whole life has been a big lie.

Now Lil' MIB is trying to convince Jacob of the truth. But Jacob will hear none of it. He starts throwing the beat-down on his bro's skull. Damn. Crazy Mama comes to break them up and tells Lil' MIB that he can never leave the Island, even if he goes to live with "the other people" (I kind of like the origin of "the Others"! But how did they come to be under Jacob's rule, though?)

Lil' MIB takes off. Now Jacob and Crazy Mama are on the beach and she confesses to killing Real Mom. She said she needed to keep them safe from the "bad people," and that she needed Jacob to remain "good." But Jacob sensed that his fake mom loved MIB more and called her out on it. She said she loved them in "different ways." This is all really bizarre.

----

OK, now we're back... with the Jacob we've come to know. And he is a-weavin'. Crazy Mama is "tired." I'm guessing she's gonna kick the bucket soon, though she doesn't appear to have aged this entire time. Jacob's spying on the Others and sees his bro working on building a well or something. Now they've reunited for a game o' stones. Jacob says he's wondering if MIB's people are "bad." Oh, and apparently they're about 43 years old now. MIB says the people ARE bad, but he thinks they're his ticket off the Island.

Now he's explaining how they made all the wells because they noticed how "metal behaves strangely." And that they found something BIG. He said he wants Jacob to come with him off the Island, but Jacob's all sad and insists that he doesn't want to leave, because the Island is his home.

---

Jacob runs off and tattles to Crazy Mama about MIB's plans. I'm liking Jacob less and less. Crazy Mama is not pleased. She sneaks up on MIB in the bottom of the well. I am pretty sure he will end up killing her. I mean, she's going to try and stop him from leaving. Is he building the Frozen Donkey Wheel, by the way?

Holy crap. He IS building the FDW. By harnessing the Glorious Light and all of this other stuff that I don't really understand, but it's all good. OK, one of them WILL KILL EACH OTHER, and, um, we know MIB is still alive when Richard comes droppin' in, so... they're hugging, and he says good-bye, and it's GOTTA be coming.

Wait, what? SHE is the one to slam his head into the wall? (What's with all the skull-crushing in this episode, geez!)

---

Commercial break: So I'm thinking maybe she has the power to save MIB before he totally dies... or has the power to bring him back to life, or something.

---

Now Crazy Mama is leading Jacob back to the Glorious Light. She literally "passes the torch" to him to be the protector. "Life, death, rebirth" is down in the cave. "It's the heart of the Island." But she doesn't ever want him to go down there. "It would be much worse than dying -- much worse." Now she's got wine and she's chanting. Yep, she is a sorceress. What if Gandalf shows up? Hey, at this point, it really could happen. There is some weird crap going on in this episode.

Now if Jacob drinks the wine he officially becomes The Protector. Aww, I feel bad for him because he knows his mom wanted MIB to be the one for the job. She tries to convince him that it really was always going to be him (Jacob) that she picked, it just took a while for her to realize it. Nice. He's like "Ah, hell, what else do I have to do?" and finally drinks the wine. I'm assuming that will freeze his age? "Now you're like me."

---

MIB is alive! With a wicked migraine, but alive nonetheless. The well appears to be all filled in. He sees burning off in the distance. Uh-oh. All of his hut village has been destroyed and all of his peeps have been killed. He finds his beloved game in the rubble. And he cries and does a Darth Vader-ish At the End of Star Wars Episode III "NOOOOO!!!!" gesture, cursing the heavens.

---

Commercial break: So... did Jacob kill all of those people? He doesn't seem like the type. Crazy Mama does, of course... but at some point he's going to need to take over completely. Did drinking the wine make fill him with some sort of rage that will make him do whatever is necessary to protect the Island?

I'm hoping that next we will get to see how MIB came to be able to turn into Smokey, and why the ash will contain him, and all of that weird stuff.

---

OK, we're back. Crazy Mama is still alive. She really doesn't seem to have aged at all. I think she must be going off to die, though, because she sent Jacob to get firewood and just had that "I'm going off to die" look about her. Now she's slinking around MIB's camp. She has the game, is looking at the stones... maybe SHE is one of the Adam and Eve skeletons? And ... yup, yup, there it is. MIB killed her. A big ol' stab in the gut. But she thanked him for killing her. Maybe that's the only way she could've died -- if one of the boys did it? Maybe she really had been alive forever? Maybe it wasn't possible for her to die before finding a replacement for herself?

Uh-oh. Jacob is on the scene. He's back to tackling and beating MIB's face in just like back in the day! Now he is dragging his bro through the jungle. UH-OH. OH CRAP. We all know what's coming. HE IS GOING TO THROW HIM IN THE GLORIOUS LIGHT CAVE. He thinks that will be a fate worse than death, and that is what he thinks his brother deserves. Clearly, this will be how MIB becomes Smokey.

Jacob sends MIB traveling down the stream. That might've been a mistake. HOLY #%(#*%* -- Smokey came CHARGING out. By far the best part of this episode! That was really cool.

---

Now Jacob sees his bro back in human form, lying on the rocks in the stream. He thinks he's dead. He feels bad and is crying. He throws the MIB's body over his shoulder, and then places him in the cave. Wait a second -- now they showed the Jack/Kate flashback just for all the non-hardcore fans who don't freakin' even remember the cave skeletons. That is kind of annoying me. If you can't remember one of the show's biggest mysteries -- you don't deserve to have it spoon-fed to you. Grrrr. Well... and that's how it ended. MIB and Crazy Mama ARE Adam and Eve. I don't have a problem with that answer, but I do have a problem with how it was revealed. I could've done without the Season One flashbacks. Because I'm a Lost snob like that!

---

WHERE MY HEAD IS AT

This episode was a pretty big letdown, in my mind. Don't hate on me for saying that! I guess it was going to be hard to follow last week's awesomeness, but still... "Across the Sea" fell very flat to me. And I feel like with only 3.5 hours left, they are definitely NOT going to explain the ash situation (why ash is able to hold Smokey back). Nor do I feel they will make the MIB/Smokey connection any clearer. My interpretation is that Smokey and the MIB were separate entities. By Jacob throwing MIB into the Glorious Light Cave, he "corrupted" the light a bit, and Smokey was created as a result. Smokey was what killed the MIB. So the MIB was laid to rest in the cave, and was clearly DEAD dead. Because, um, his skeleton is still there in the present time -- Hurley and Jack just came across it, remember?

So to me this means that Smokey was born because Jacob tampered with the Glorious Light Cave, and then Smokey was able to take the MIB's form -- and memories -- because he was not properly buried. But Smokey is Smokey, and the MIB is dead. So that guy who was sitting with Jacob at the end of Season Five? That's not really the MIB, it was Smokey in the MIB's form. But apparently the writers believe that Smokey and the MIB's goal (to get off of the Island) is one and the same, and so I guess we can just kind of substitute Smokey for the MIB, and vice versa. It actually raises more questions than it answers, but I'm too tired to think about it anymore. I accept it. Not really sure why Jack only thought the bodies had been there like 40 or 50 years, either. OK, I gotta let this go.

I'll leave you with a few other "How will it end?" theories from guaranteed spoiler-free people. If you missed my Bonus Post this past weekend, I wrote what I think will happen over the remaining hours here.

My Aunt Sue's theory: She is 100% convinced that the alternate timeline will win out, that the Alt 815ers will remember all of their Island experiences and live happily ever after and all remain friends, and that the Island was merely a way for them to redeem themselves and learn from their mistakes. She was shocked that I thought it could end any other way. "Why would they do anything else?" she asked, truly befuddled. I said, "Aunt Sue, a lot of people want it to end on the Island, including me. They feel the Island is its own character." She replied, "But then a bunch of people would be dead? Don't you want everyone to be alive? I just can't believe they would not give everyone a happy ending -- I think it will upset a lot of people if they don't." I told her that she better get ready to be upset. I mean, it's not like I don't want all of the 815ers to be alive and happy and whatnot, but I just can't see everything ending like that. I just can't. But I do believe that my Aunt Sue represents the vast majority of "normal" fans, so who knows. Maybe I'm just too deep into the theories and I am not seeing the easier, simpler way for everything to come to a conclusion.

My brother: My brother thinks what a lot of people think and what I've mentioned here on the blog before: Jack will be Jacob's replacement and that Fake Locke will remain as the new MIB, and that the series will end with them having the "Do you know how badly I want to kill you?" conversation. However, the twist with his theory is that he thinks Real Locke WILL break through near the end and will plead with everyone that it's really good ol' Locke again, but no one will believe him. So there will be a glimmer of Real Locke for a bit... but by the time the final scene rolls, the MIB/Smokey will have taken over once more. That would crush me.

My sister-in-law: She believes that the alternate timeline will win out, and that everyone will still retain their Island memories and know that they played a part in bringing the MIB under control. She thinks that "the end" that Jacob and the MIB referred to in the Season Five finale can only come when Jacob finds a replacement... and as soon as Jack takes over, that means Jacob "won," and the MIB will effectively be destroyed and the Island will then cease to exist. Jack will have proved that there's still hope for humankind.

OK, that's enough with the theories. Just so you know, I'm not going to be posting any more theories from here on out. Because, um, next week is the penultimate episode and it's kind of pointless. So there's no need to email me your theories, is what I'm sayin'. ; ) I don't have time to read them the rest of this month, anyway! (The book is coming along swimmingly, by the way -- thanks for asking. You WERE asking, right?)

Time for bed... so I will leave you with this funny story from my best friend, Nerdy P:

"I told my mom that the Lost finale was on Sunday 5-23, because I knew she would just assume it was Tuesday, and not pay attention to any commercials or anything. She says, "Oh no, we have euchre club that night - I will have to TAPE IT ON THE VCR!""

(For you non-Midwesterners, Euchre is a type of card game. And yes, some people apparently still use VCRs. Get a DVR, my VCR-using readers! It will be the best money you've ever spent.)

"Then she told one of the other guys in their euchre club, because he loves Lost, and he says, "NO, I must watch it in real time - we need to move up the dinner and card-playing so we are DONE by 9 pm!" He shoots off an email to the organizer, and SHE gets all offended, saying she has never been rescheduled for a TV SHOW, and thinks they should just cancel. Emails flew back and forth with all kinds of drama, and my mom calls me saying - ARE YOU SURE it is Sunday, because YOU started all of this!!"

Nerdy P told me that eventually the group did get it figured out, and everyone's happy. (And I gotta give a shout-out to Nerdy P's mom, MW!)

So JUST IN CASE one of you out there missed it... the finale is SUNDAY, May 23. From 9 - 11:30 PM EST. There will be two hours of recaps beforehand, and a live Jimmy Kimmel show with most of the cast for an hour immediately afterward. Five and a half hours of LOST!!! And then, it's over.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

It's Saturday morning, and I felt like posting a little bit of fun stuff before I get going on a full day of book-writing. Since last Tuesday's intense episode, I've been thinking about a way that things could work out where -- in the very end -- Sun, Jin, Locke and Sayid (and others) aren't dead, and the Island timeline still exists.

Here's what I've come up with. It's complicated, but I think you hardcore fans can keep up. In fact, I'm sure you can. And I'm not sure any other way to wrap everything up is going to be any less complicated... so here it goes:

1) The war continues on the Island in the present timeline. The MIB wins. He succeeds in killing the rest of the candidates, and is about to leave the Island using the piloting skills he has embedded from Locke's memory (shout-out to an anonymous LLL reader for that idea!). If the MIB leaves, the world will be destroyed. Some character -- maybe Widmore -- will finally explain this in no uncertain terms (the consequences of the MIB leaving) BEFORE it happens.

2) In the 2004 sideways timeline, the 815ers finally all remember their other existences. They remember everything, including the "future" events of 2007 (we've already seen evidence of this, with Sun being scared and saying "It's HIM!" when she saw Locke next to her on the stretcher). They know the consequences of the mistakes they made -- both in their personal lives and on the Island.

3) With Desmond's help, the 2004 sideways 815ers find a way to communicate and/or influence what the CONCURRENT versions of themselves on the Island are doing. Meaning, the 2004 815ers that DID crash on the Island (because remember, "whatever happened, happened"). I forgot about my own theory from a while back, which is that I think Charlie de-jamming the Looking Glass station's signal, and/or Jack answering the Freighter Fone, were the events that led to the unraveling of everything. If the freighter team had never reached the Island, none of the really bad stuff would've happened. So the Alt 815ers figure out a way to prevent the Island 815ers from doing those things. (I also realize that the "key event" could've been something else entirely... the point is, there was some moment in time where things started going awry for the Losties, and they need to fix it. And they can, with the help of their "other" versions.)

What would this mean in the big picture? I'm definitely not sure what it would mean for the Alt timeline. I'm not sure if that one would just go "poof!", or if those versions of the 815ers would just continue to live out their lives. I have no idea. But I do have an opinion for what it would mean on the Island...

On the Island, the 815ers -- now infused with the knowledge of what will happen should they stick to their present course -- accept their fates on the Island and stop trying to leave. While Jacob doesn't have to die in this scenario, he does want to retire, and Jack now knows that it's his job to take over. Locke takes over as the leader of the Others, which Ben is fine with, since he is aware of what would've happened in the other scenario (Alex would've been killed by Keamy). The MIB still exists as Smokey and various undead figures, and so the 815ers know they need to keep him "bottled up" as best they can. Juliet will finally figure out how to save pregnant women on the Island, thanks to some additional training she had in the Alt timeline that we have yet to see.

So Claire remains with Aaron and raises him with Charlie (along with Godmother Kate, of course), and Sun and Jin are able to raise Ji Yeon as a little Island Baby. I'm not even touching what I think will happen with the Kate/Jack/Sawyer/Juliet quadrangle! And I still have no idea who the skeletons are!

For those of you crying, "But what about the "Whatever Happened, Happened?" rule, I say this: that rule has not been broken in the slightest. Everything the Losties did in the original timeline remains intact. In fact, it was necessary for them to blow up Jughead in order to create the sideways timeline. None of the on-Island stuff that went down in Seasons Five and Six would be erased in any way. It will have always happened in some form, it's just that the sideways timeline will then lead to a "reset" of certain Island events starting around the time the Freighter approaches. Think of it as a linear timeline that has a small loop-de-loop or circle between 2004 and 2007.

It makes sense to me, but I've gotten very little sleep over the past several weeks, so maybe I'm just crazy.

I do think an alternate version to section #1 above is that the MIB doesn't kill the remaining candidates and that Jack and crew -- with Desmond's help -- are able to kill him instead. But there's still gotta be something that would motivate the 2004 timeline people to want to reset things a bit. Maybe the fact that the good majority of them die otherwise? Who knows. But one thing I'm sure of is that all of the characters will be "redeemed" in one way or the other, in one timeline or the other, before the show is over.

I realize that the theory above has a ton of holes in it. You all are quite aware by now that I have never been like "HERE'S MY THEORY AND I KNOW I'M RIGHT!!!!" about absolutely anything. In fact, that's why I'm posting this before Tuesday's show, since I'm figuring the above will be blown to hell within the first five minutes of the next episode!

And since I haven't looked at any other Lost blogs all season, perhaps this theory is already very widespread out there. In which case, um, you didn't hear it here first.

But I needed a break from writing about serious business stuff. So I took it.

Here's one last thing I am going to say for the record about my hopes for the series finale: I seriously, seriously, seriously hope that the writers and producers do NOT proceed to shed light on a whole bunch of other things about their intentions for characters, or what happens to the characters "after the finale," or anything like that. J.K. Rowling pissed me off big-time when she explained -- in great detail -- the fates of characters in her Harry Potter series. Things that were not in the actual books. That's cheating, in my opinion. Everything we need to know as fans of Lost should be in the show. So I truly hope it is.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

For the first time ever, I'm going to attempt to write a post while watching the show. We'll see how it goes... but I figured this strategery might allow me to share a few more thoughts than I would've been able to if I waited for another chance to break away from my book manuscript.

FLASHES

So Locke's in recovery... Jack tells him he fixed his ruptured dural sac... AND... did Jack fix EVERYTHING, like I'd hoped? Can Locke walk again? No. My prediction was totally wrong. I guess I should've known that a surgeon couldn't just operate willy-nilly on his emergency patients. I was also wrong (I think... hard telling at this point) about predicting that Locke would remember all of his Island existence. Doesn't seem like that's the case.

Nearly all of Jack and Locke's conversation was dripping with double-meanings, however, as Jack went on to explain that Locke's "a candidate" for a new type of surgery. "I think that I could fix you." But Locke wasn't interested. WHA!?!? Then Helen busts in and gives Jack a big ol' hug. "Thank you for saving him." (Cue oh-so-ironic parallel/switcheroo to the Island timeline, where (Fake) Locke had just saved Jack.)

In the next flash, Jack pays Bernard a visit. Huh? I thought he was gonna ask for braces for his kid or something. But the plot thickens... it turns out Bernard had worked on Locke three years prior, and that the accident Locke was in also involved his father, Anthony Cooper (though Jack didn't know it was Locke's dad at that point). Jack was like... "How can you remember all of this stuff from three years ago?" and Bernard acted all strange about it. Bernard was very bizarre and had an eerie quality to him, don't you think? He remembered Jack from the plane, on top of all of this. I almost got the sense that Bernard's kind of like Desmond, and is somewhat of a "guide" for Jack. Especially since he ended with, "I hope you find what you're looking for." (A line that has been used A LOT on this show, by the way.)

Now Jack's at a nursing home trying to visit Anthony Cooper. But Helen's there and begs him to leave things alone. "You saved his life... why can't that be enough?" "Because it's not. I'm TOTALLY Type A, woman!"

Helen relents and they enter the community room. Oh, #)#*. Here comes the sad music. I don't wanna look, I don't wanna look, I don't wanna SEE THIS! Crap. There he is, ol' Papa Locke, in a vegetative state. How is it that I'm feeling sorry for the very man I once despised?

Now Jack's bedside with Locke again, and Locke's spewing out lines from the Island. The button! "I wish you had believed me!" Consider me to be freaking out!

But then Claire had to show up and ruin it all. Now she's showing Jack a weird box their dad willed to her. And they're realizing that they were both on Oceanic Flight 815. The box plays "Catch a Falling Star"... the song Claire's been associated with since Season One. But she doesn't know what the box is supposed to mean to her. Neither do I.

Now we're back in the hospital. Locke's being released, and did a double-take when Jin walked past. Now Jack is trying to say good-bye to Locke. And now we get the story behind "the accident." Yes, my heart stopped when he said "I was in a plane crash." CURSE YOU, writers!!! This episode was just waaaay too full of those trickster moments. Thankfully, before my mind exploded, Locke explained the HE was flying a plane and his dad was his first passenger... and something went horribly wrong.

Then came what I dare say was one of the all-time best Jack/Locke moments. Jack tells Locke that both of their fathers are gone, and that they have to let go. "What happened, happened." He asks Locke to go first by having the new type of surgery. Locke's still telling Jack to talk to the hand. He wheels himself down the hall, but pauses -- confused -- when Jack yells after him, "I wish you'd believe me." I seriously can't even deal with this episode. It is so awesome.

ISLAND

What? The MIB crew already made it over to Hydra? And STILL no outrigger shoot-em-up?

Kate's not on the list -- Widmore and Sawyer confirm this. Whether or not we should believe them in another story -- but for right now I'm choosing to. Everyone's thrown in the fishbiscuit cages, but no one feels like doing any tricks in order to get a snack. They learn that the Smokey-proof fence isn't live yet. Uh oh.

Over on the beach, Sayid informs Jack, "He saved you." Conveniently, everyone else has dispersed and it's just those three left. Jack tells Fake Locke he's not leaving the Island, and asks why he should trust him. Fake Locke replies, "Because I could kill ALL Y'ALL!!! (But I didn't.)"

In the cages... Sawyer says, "I feel like we're runnin' in circles." Is that a hint, perhaps? The Time Loop Theory lives on!

Sawyer tells Kate about the Cave o' Names and that "Austen" was there... but had been crossed out. Doh.

Sun and Jin talk about Ji Yeon, and Sun gives her husband back his ring.

All the power goes out. Lapidus: "Uh oh." Classic. This is just like a horror movie, damn. Smokey sounds. And... there he is. Don't peeps know you can't SHOOT smoke? Silly. Kate's trying to reach the key, Lapidus is attempting to kick down the door. But Jack is there to save the day, and as he looks back at Smokey fading off into the jungle he says, I'm with him." Hilarious.

Next... HOLY EFF... the MIB is DONE playin' games! "OUT MY WAY!!!" he yelled (not really) as he quickly dispatched three Team Widmore dudes. Then he checked out the Ajira plane, which appeared to be wired somehow. Aww, crap... is he gonna blow it up mid-air with all of them on it? And since he was looking for something in the luggage... did HE set it there before the flight? Was he in Locke's body waaaay earlier than we all thought?

Um, no. No, he wasn't in Locke's body pre-Ajira. Or at least I think he wasn't. Who knows. But now Fake Locke's claiming that WIDMORE wired the plane. And so now they have to take the sub. And there goes Sawyer's Plan B.

Claire apologizes to the MIB while Sawyer asks Jack to make sure Fake Locke doesn't get on the sub. I'm seeing where this is going. Everyone else will end up leaving, Jack becomes the new Jacob because he stayed behind and stayed true to the Island, and MIB (in Locke's form) remains the Island Baddie. So it's like there will be a new Island defender and a new Island villain... but not really, 'cause it's still the MIB. But that's what the writers will want us to think it's like -- Jack and Locke taking over the roles of Jacob and the MIB.

OK, now the gang's all at the sub dock. I have a bad feeling about this. No peeps better die, dammit! My husband asked: "Why didn't they have Locke go first?" Because they wanna leave without him, silly! It is really weird to me that Locke made sure Jack put his backpack on before running off. What is up with guys and their backpacks on this show lately?

Sawyer and Lapidus go into the sub. Oh lord, is the sub gonna blow up?? I'm scared! I can't take it! OK, phew, Lapidus and Sawyer cleaned house and are still safe.

WHAT!!! Jack pushed Fake Locke in the water and Kate got shot?!?!?! Claire is taking suckas out like nobody's business. She would make Rousseau proud, god bless her. Locke is emerging from the water like a bald-headed, pissed-off fiend. Did I mention he is PISSED? And he can't be destroyed!!!

This is insane. And guess what. Jack's now in the sub with the rest... Claire was left behind, as was the MIB. But the joke's on the 815ers because, as the MIB told Claire, "you don't wanna be on that sub."

Kate's not lookin' too good. Jack opens up his stupid backpack to find... oh. There's a bomb in there. Now a whole bunch of stuff is starting to make sense. I really wish Jack would've taken a line from Madonna and Justin Timberlake, looked up at Sawyer and said, "We only got four minutes to save the world!"

Sayid better summon ALL of his skillz right about now!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

OK.

[e clears her throat.]

So, um... this real-time thing failed me when things went from "Insane" to "Huh? What? Did That Just Happen? No It Didn't. Oh Hell, It Really Did. I Can't Believe What I'm Seeing."

You all know what I just watched for the last fifteen minutes. And you all know why I'm bawling my eyes out. I seriously can't even process what just happened. I guess I always knew He of the Black Tank Top was not truly gone -- that he was still in there behind those dead eyes -- and that he would rise up again and end up sacrificing himself to save everyone else, but damn. I was not ready for it. I was NOT ready for it tonight. And I'm definitely in denial about it. So I will speak of it no more.

Lapidus? Gone. WHAT?

Sun and Jin? WHAT?!?! Don't even get me started. I honestly, honestly, HONESTLY thought that after they were like, "I love you" and "I love YOU!" that the barrier pinning Sun back would magically loosen. I thought that the lesson we were learning from Desmond's last episode was, "Love conquers all." Instead we got Titanic, the Sequel. I thought that at the very least Sun would say, "You MUST save yourself so that our daughter has a father." But there wasn't even any talk of Ji Yeon. I just don't get it. I'm just beside myself with sadness and confusion.

Now Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Hurley have reconvened on the beach. Too sad. OH HURLEY NOOOOOoooo. Hurley can't lose it!!! Shit. This just sucks. Now Matthew Fox is going for his all-time best man-crying performance. Are they trying to kill me? Are they trying to kill ALL Lost fans???

Back over to Claire and Fake Locke. "It sunk." How does Fake Locke know some people are still alive, though? And now the preview. Oh. Dear. God. The preview rocked!

WHERE MY HEAD'S AT

This episode shocked me. It made me cry my eyes out, but I loved it. I think it's my second-favorite episode of the season. (The first is not what you think it is. And I name it in the podcast I link to below.)

Now I almost feel like the alternate timeline HAS to be the one that wins out. This is the first time I've felt that way. Before I always had in my head that it would just be awful if the Island timeline never existed... or if it existed in some form, at some point, but none of our beloved characters could remember it. But, I mean, are they really gonna have Ji Yeon be parentless? That's all I keep thinking about -- it just doesn't seem right. Jack is clearly going to be the next Jacob, because Sayid pretty much told him he was. I don't know how Sayid knows this, but I'm figuring they're not going to have made his LAST WORDS be meaningless, you know? Crap, there I go talking about Dead Sayid again. Enough.

Now we're left with no way off the Island for the 815ers. The sub is gone, Lapidus isn't around to fly the plane, and who knows if the plane could even take off in the first place. I can't help but think that SOMEONE, somehow, has to kill the MIB for all of this to truly be "over." And where in the hell are Richard, Ben and Miles? Oh yeah, they're going to be taking the outrigger over to Hydra and getting shot at by the time-traveling Losties. DAHHHHHHH!!!!

Well, that's all I've got. Sorry for all the rambling, hope it was at least better than me writing nothing. I can't wait to hear all of your thoughts about the episode... and if I get a couple of moments over the next week to check into the comments section and add a few more ideas or respond to any questions, I will try to do so.

---

If this pseudo-post has left you hankerin' for more "e," then you're in luck. The awesome team of Anil from The ODI, Karen from Karen's LOST Notebook, and Danny/Vozzek from Things I Noticed and DarkUFO, were extremely patient with my timing constraints and waited up late, late one night last week to record a podcast with me after I returned from the Nightmare on Elm Street screening (which you know I wouldn't have dared go to if it weren't for my redbox gig!).

We had a great time talking about our predictions and hopes for the rest of the season, and -- of course -- a lot of that discussion had to do with my man Locke. I believe it's about an hour long, and there are no spoilers during that time. After my segment, Andy, who runs DarkUFO, joins the team, and they don't talk about spoilers for the remaining time, either.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Ever work at a restaurant? Back in the day I used to waitress at The Olive Garden -- or, as I preferred to call it, "The O.G." Mmm, breadsticks. Anyway, whenever anyone was running behind on their orders we would say they were "in the weeds." That expression came back to me this morning as I wrestled with how to explain that I will not be writing recaps for the next three Lost episodes. My excuse is that I'm very, very much in the weeds right now with my book project. I'll be going into total lockdown (pun intended) mode until it's done -- no daylight, no fresh air, no phone calls, etc. I'm even having to scale back my work for redbox and am taking a week off for the first time in twenty months -- that's how serious this situation is. Dah! After my manuscript is in, I will emerge from the depths of my condo looking like some sort of Gollum-ish creature. No, I will not post pictures.

What I plan to do instead of writing recaps for the May 4th, 11th and 18th episodes is post about a paragraph's worth of my thoughts either immediately following the show or the next morning. That way it'll give anyone who wants to leave an opinion or theory about that specific episode a place to do so... and if I ever get a moment to breathe, I will try to add a few additional thoughts in the comments section -- but no promises. I do, however, promise to write The Mother of All Recaps for the series finale.

In the meantime, here is my take on "The Last Recruit." I had this 90% written the day after the show aired, but then things got away from me.

"The Last Recruit" was one of those episodes where the time just flew by because the hour was focused on getting characters in certain places rather than the overall mythology of the show. It seriously seemed like only 20 minutes had passed by the time the end credits rolled. So there's not a heck of a lot to say theory-wise. I still really enjoyed the episode, though it didn't live up to the crazy-high expectations I had based on that kick-ass Willy Wonka preview.

I'll tackle the alternate timeline first.

- If, as I speculated last week, Des had mowed Locke down in the hopes of inducing his Island memories through a traumatic experience, then his plan worked. Did you catch how Locke said Helen was the woman he "was going" to marry... rather than the woman he is going to marry? That's a sign he's seen the other side, in my book. Same goes for Sun... she'd been shot and thought she might have lost her baby, which was certainly enough to trigger visions of the original timeline. That's why she was freaking out and yelling, "Oh no, it's him!" when being wheeled into the hospital next to Locke (which was a totally cool scene). She thought it was the MIB. When she was out of surgery later, however, she seemed to be back to normal after she found out the baby was OK. But if she runs into any of the 815ers again, will that trigger another memory?

- Over at the police station, Sawyer was flirting it up with Fugitive Kate and musing over how many times they'd run into each other. I'm sure tons of Skaters cheered when Sawyer said, "It's like something wants us together" (or whatever the line was -- close enough). And did you notice how he was eating an apple and offered it to Kate as well? Is that a hint they're going to turn out to be the Adam and Eve skeletons? Then he learned about how Sayid escaped from what would go down in the record books as the Good Eggs Massacre, and he and Miles set out to find their prime suspect. I'm wondering if Kate will be gone by the time they return. I'm thinking she will be.

- Alt Sayid is totally weak and I was not digging him in this episode. His hair is a disgrace, he doesn't wear tank tops, and he was basically brought down by a freakin' garden hose. I mean, come on. What happened to Badass Sayid? He doesn't exist in the Sideways Timeline. I actually prefer Dead Eye Sayid. And now it's clear that NO version of Sayid is meant to live happily ever after with Nadia, dammit.

- Elsewhere in the sideways world, Des is stalking 815ers once again. This time he's found Claire, and he convinces her to talk with his attorney friend before she goes in to sign her adoption papers. If I were Claire I would've kicked his creepy butt down the escalator. He was coming on pretty strong, no? But whatever... she agreed, and since I was spoiled by the beginning credits I knew the lawyer would most likely be Ilana. And wouldn't you know it, she'd been looking for Claire in an attempt to settle Christian Shephard's affairs. I don't really know if that's why Des brought her to Ilana, or if he was just trying to get her to reconsider giving Aaron away, but regardless, the detour served to get her face-to-face with another 815er. That never seems to be enough to trigger a vision, though. Maybe she'll randomly go into labor the next time she and Jack reconvene with Ilana and then she'll be like, "I remember you! And I remember ME... with some sort of dead rodent on my head... what tha... ?"

- Jack has to make a quick exit from the will reading in order to attend to Locke. Whom he recognizes after looking in yet another mirror... this one underneath the operating table, very similar to how Ben was laid out for his spinal tumor surgery back in the infamous "KATE! DAMMIT! RUN!" episode (shout-out to Josh G). So call it -- will Jack make Locke able to walk again or not? I'm guessing he will, because then Locke will be one more 815er who is getting everything he ever hoped for in the alternate timeline. If he can walk Helen down the aisle in this life, is that really worth giving up in order to be called "a sucker" by the Smoke Monster? No. Unless something (or someone) convinces him that he will save the world by doing so. I should also mention that when Locke wakes up from the surgery, I believe he will have all of his Island memories still intact. The question is whether or not he'll "remember" anything AFTER the point he's killed by Ben. As in, will he be able to access the thoughts of the MIB since he's parading around in his form?

On to the Island.

- Things kicked off on a very awesome note with the much-anticipated Jack/Fake Locke discussion. We got confirmation that the MIB had been masquerading as Christian the whole time. He also told Jack that all he'd ever been trying to do was help Jack leave the Island, but that had been impossible while Jacob was still alive. Now that Jacob was gone, they could all bust outta there... but it had to be all of them leaving together. Jack was like "OK..." but inside his head he wasn't buyin' it. Especially after the MIB called Locke a sucker for believing that the Island brought them there for a reason. Since Jack is now a Man of Faith, the MIB had essentially just called him a pitiful punk, too.

- On his way back to the main camp, Jack ran into Claire, who attempted to bond with her long-lost half-bro. But he told her politely that he wasn't exactly on her and Fake Locke's side just yet. And she was like, "Ha, ha, joke's on you." She believed that the second the MIB spoke with Jack, Jack was a goner.

- Then Zoe strolled into the clearing and showed off Widmore's Explosion Skillz by decimating part of the jungle right behind them. It reminded me of that scene in The Princess Bride when Fezzik (Andre the Giant) threw a boulder near the Man in Black's head (AAHHHH, I just realized yet another Lost/Princess Bride similarity... and not even the one I was originally pointing out!) and said, "I did that on purpose. I didn't have to miss." Fake Locke was not fazed and destroyed her walkie-talkie the second she left. "Here we go," he sighed.

- That's when everyone started cutting deals left and right, and my husband pointed out that the music sounded very Imperial March-like. Maybe because of Hurley's awesome dark side/Anakin lines. Anyway, Fake Locke announced the plan, and then Sawyer filled Jack in on the Plan B while Fake Locke was telling Sayid to go finish off Des.

- Am I nuts, or did the preview show Sayid's gun firing down into the well? 'Cause that didn't happen. Instead, I'm pretty sure Des guilted Sayid into NOT shooting him. Or else, you know, we probably would've seen Desmond's death scene, don't you think? So between Sayid NOT killing Zoe over on Hydra and now not killing Des, I'm wondering if there's perhaps a glimmer of He of the Black Tank Top left in those dead eyes? I hope there is!

- Same goes for Claire... everyone had counted her out, but then she ended up choosing to sail away with her original peeps instead of run to the MIB and tattle on them. Though I did like her "he's gonna be really mad" warning. And kudos to Kate for sticking to the original reason she came back to the Island. I was happy to see that.

- So everyone's on the boat, but then something doesn't sit right with Jack. "If that thing wants us to leave... maybe it's afraid of what will happen if we stay." I did NOT see him jumping off the boat and swimming back coming at all. The Mad Doctor is BACK, folks!

- The other group makes it to Hydra and out of nowhere comes Jin in a blindingly white t-shirt for his three-years-in-the-making reunion with Sun. I KNOW I was not the only one who feared they were going to get zapped by the sonic fence. I could barely watch that scene I was so worried.

But the hubby and wife duo didn't get to celebrate for very long, because then Widmore's team threatened everyone at gunpoint while also beginning to bomb the bejeezus out of the main Island.

- Speaking of... Jack makes it back to shore and then immediately gets blown sky high (though he miraculously remained in one piece). Fake Locke carries him into the jungle a ways where they appear to be out of imminent danger for the moment. He assures Jack that he'll be safe because "you're with me now." This brings me to my last point -- are we supposed to gather from this episode's title that JACK is "the last recruit"? Cause, um, I didn't really count Hurley, Sawyer, Kate or anyone else outside Claire and Sayid as technically being "recruited" by the MIB. Usually the episode titles make sense to me, but this one didn't.

Clearly, Jack is NOT on the MIB's side. If anything, he's just going to pretend to go along with him in order to stall... hoping that the Island will reveal whatever it was that he was brought there to do in the first place. The Island better hurry up! And while I'm on the topic of the Island -- I really pray this series doesn't end over on Hydra. That just wouldn't be right.

I'll leave you with what I thought was the best of the fan-made Lost finale commercials in a recent contest ABC held. This one didn't win, though, which is a damn shame. The winning clip will be aired during the finale, so stay tuned for that.

OK, that's it... I'll be back within 24 hours of the May 4th episode to post a quick summary of my thoughts.