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Monday, April 27, 2009

Monday, April 27, 2009

Unless you've lived under a rock for the past year or so, you know about the vampire lust phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. Naturally, it was only a matter of time before a bakery, in an attempt to appeal to the "I'll buy anything with Edward Cullen on it" crowd, decided to recreate the iconic book cover on a cake.

So here's the cover:

Aaaand here's the cake:

I'll give you a moment.

[whistling]

Ready? Back in your chair? Good.

Now, can I appreciate the irony of a vampire cake that sucks?

Of course I can.

Do I mind that the apple is now a red bell pepper?

Nah, not so much.

Would I still like to know what the Wreckerator was smoking when s/he made those flabby-yet-disjointed amoeba arms?

[nodding] Yes, yes I would.

Kelly L., I know you have a stake in this, so I hope you won't be cross when I say looking at this bite-sized sucker is making me downright batty.

I'm not sure which makes me wanna hurl more, the books themselves or this cake, ha ha (sorry, I shouldn't editorialise, but the books really are trash. Not that there's anything wrong with that!! Trash has its place in the annals of literature. Note that I was careful to spell annals correctly).

Although I'm one of, like, 8 women in America who doesn't care mightily about the Twilight books, that doesn't mean I don't think this cake was very poorly done. I mean, it's just...BAD. Those snake arms are really...something else.

You know I painted some arthritic hands, just like those on the cake, a few weeks ago as part of a painting of images depicting human suffering!!!I obviously live on a different planet as I've never heard of the book, anyone else from Zurg?

I'm glad to know I'm not the only woman out there who isn't obsessed with Twilight. And this cake just gives me more reason to not like it.An aside--Cake Wrecks was mentioned on a blog on MSNBC today. Awesome! http://testpattern.msnbc.msn.com/

okay, i'm so off topic, but i'd feel mean putting this on yesterday's post -- can i just say i think "smash cakes" are the dumbest thing? when we were kids, the kid blew out the candles (or adults helped), and your mom gave you a slice -- no smashing or smooshing in the face needed. it just seems like a ridiculous piece of theater, with no point. i've never seen a kid willfully smash a cake. stick finger in frosting, yes; smash, no.

Ok, so maybe I'm one of the few people who's a fan of the Twilight series. Fan, not addict, thanks. But that cake is just horrifying. If you hadn't told me it was supposed to be a Twilight cake, I probably woulda guessed.......well I don't know what I woulda guessed, but it definately wouldn't have been Twilight.

I vote with the folks who thought it looked more like feet than arms. I haven't read Twilight the series), nor do I intend to since vampromance isn't my genre of choice, but even the worst of books deserves a better cake than this.

So, what's all the fuss about? Is this series about vampires? Werewolves? Apples as a vision supplement in one's twilight years? Maybe someone will be kind enough to clue me in, as I am not a member of the Trendy Fad Book (or tv show, fashion, hairstyle, or cause) of the Month Club.And I agree: that is most definitely a red pepper! Wonder how it got stuck in that person's apparently very-diseased pelvic bones?! Huh.=^??^=

I must be Twilight non-lover #9. I can't comment on how well written they are, as I've never picked one up to actually read it. I just know that it's one of the most trite storylines I've heard about since Dick and Jane Go to the Park. Except that Dick and Jane are *supposed* to be trite. And this is coming from someone who *did* like Anne Rice's Vamp books.

I'm 25 and LOVED the books (and can't even count the number of adults I know who've read and loved it!). I read the entire series in under 4 days! Like it or not, Stephenie Meyer is a genius (oh she isn't? did YOU write a best selling novel that swept up an entire generation/nation? no? that's what I thought)

That being said.This cake is HORRIBLE.Laughable, but completely hideous. I'm beginning to wonder if some of these wreckerators are working blindfolded.

To the Courteous Chihuahua...what the #$@^%$ was that? As to the "cake" I HATE TWILIGHT since I was caught in the middle of a tween frenzie when the dvd came out in the bookstore and they had a party. Ugh! tweens should not be seen or heard after dark.

I don't condone the use of that edible film with pictures on it (CHEESY), but in this case, they should have just taken a photo of the dumb book and placed it on a plain cake! I love cake, but I don't think I'd even eat this one...

I've never been more pleased with my current "under-the-rock" lifestyle than I am today. The first time I really heard of "Twilight" was 2 weeks ago when my friend (CSM at walmart) told me about the crowds & fights they had when...a book? Or something...Twilight-related, was released recently. I had to go home & Google it to find out what it was.

The books? I'm not even close to being interested. The cake? Almost looks NSFW. Looks like the natural sequel to the "pregnant tummy cake" a few months later....

I was afraid when I saw the topic today because I had to do a Twilight cake for a customer a few months ago. Thank God it wasn't my cake that was on here! As soon as I saw what they wanted I said "I hope they don't expect it to look like the cover". I had to trace it from a projector onto a sheet cake (vertical, thank you very much) and then use gel and airbrushing. It turned out ok, especially now that I've seen this one! And yes, it is copywright infringement. I don't understand the wavy arms; just make them shorter. I didn't read the books although my 14 yr old niece loves them; I did see the movie unfortunately and it was horrible. Horrible. I don't understand the obsession with this series.

I have to say, the main reason the arms suck is because they seem to have attempted to make the thumbs go above the apple. I`m sure the cake would have just fine if they`d actually followed the book cover. . . . or not. :)

Just because someone doesn't like a book doesn't mean it's trash, ya know....

I read and write historical romance novels for the most part, and most people make fun of the genre. Know what? a dag lot of work and research and creativity go into them. Just as with any book with any substance. I'm not talking bodice rippers or ones without any value to the written word.

Stephanie Meyer has one thing going for her - she's gifted in the art of description. Her characters and scenes come alive. If you don't like the story, so what? So it's not your thing. At least appreciate the fact that maybe, just maybe, you like a different genre that someone else might call "trash" for no other reason than they didn't like it or thought they wouldn't.

I thought I'd dislike these books. I was pleasantly surprised, much as I was with Rowling's works.

They're written for YOUNG people. Get a grip. They're supposed to be set in that mindset. Sure I don't agree with all of it - but I can appreciate a work of art without agreeing with all of it.

Just as with this blog - those who dislike it could call it "trash" or be mean about it - and they'd be wrong, correct?? Because just because you dislike something or don't agree with it doesn't mean it's wrong or useless.

At the very least, Twilight series got teenagers reading - OBSESSIVELY.

My 20-something daughter actually knows of people who are currently in Vancouver BC (specifically Surrey) who have searched for the current filming sites, who hang out in Vancouver bars and restaurants looking for the actors, and who own several copies of the DVD—because there were different contents/features of the DVD when purchased from different outlets.

Yes I've read them and I am gobsmacked at how stupid the character of Bella is. She sets teenage girls/all women back 50 years with her stupidity and definition of what "love" is! I kept hoping someone would bite her and put ME out of my misery!

If I had a quarter for every child, tween and adult who has checked out the books from our library over the last year or so....

Haven't heard anything about them that really makes me want to try them, although I'm amused at the description of polite, wholesome young vampires(huh, might have been better friends than a lot of the folk in my high school ;) )

Anyway, this rendition is truly shudder-worthy. I cringed at the gnarled appendages and the thought of how long it would take *that* much black dye to leave your system.

@ Becky:Why assume that those that knock on it have not read it?All those who I know that dislike the books, have read at least one of the books. Sorry, but the dislike comes from the books actually being crappy.

And that cake is terrible. I feel for whoever thinks they need to buy it....or eat it for that matter.

oh my, I love the Twilight books but there isn't enough money to get me to sink my teeth into this cake. It must have been made to repel Vamps, not to entice them. At least make it look faily human if you must recreate a bookcover.

I am sooo glad I am not the only one that cant stand the series. If you want to read a great vampire series, try the queen of vampire novels Anne Rice or if you want a more contemporary series try Maggie Shayne.

Anyways the cake is awful and it just adds to my displeasure about the series.

I'm happy to add myself to the list of women who haven't read Twilight, and don't ever plan to. In my opinion it isn't the sucky sounding plot that makes these books annoying--as I don't really have problem with reading delightfully bad romance, even of the teen variety--but rather how obsessed the fans are. I have a cousin who is one of the obsessed fans. She wasn't much of a reader before, but now she refuses to read anything but Twilight, and she's read them all multiple times. Scary, huh? She also tries to convince everyone else to read the books, and she even tried to convince her sister to name her baby after a character from the book.

One last thing, did anyone else hear about sparkly vampires and think, "Wow, I didn't know those books were about gay vampires."?

@kitty....YES! I was just about to mention Reneseme! I have to admit that breaking dawn was cringe-worthy, but still so bad it was good. The whole series is cringe-worthy but still a fun read for a whole weekend(yes that's all it takes is one weekend of being cooped up with seasonal allergies...to read the whole series). Let me tell ya though....If you look up Twilight and fanfic ....wholesome goes right out the window!

That much black icing frightens me. My sister made me some music note cookies once, with black frosting on sugar cookies. Can we say green poo for days? Ugh....

Agree with the comment that the books are like a train wreck. They aren't really that well written...yet I was compelled to read them all this past summer. The thing is, she had some good story ideas, but every time I thought "oh, this would be GREAT" she left that to side-note filler. It's good idea, bad execution basically.

Um...why do cakes always have to be decorated "landscape"? If the decorator would have turned the cake long ways, she could have made the arms longer and the apple rounder. That's what I'm just going to keep telling myself anyway.

Actually, I think that cake is an excellent visual representation of the literary quality of the books.

Yep. They're that bad.

On a side note, the other day my husband and I rode the 101 loop, which goes through Forks, WA. I knew we were approaching Forks before I ever saw the sign, because businesses started to have references to Twilight several miles out of town.

"Edward Cullen did not sleep here," at a motel.

"Bella drinks orange crush!" at a mini-mart.

Once in town, there's even a Twilight store. They apparently sell Twilight books and memorabilia. I suppose the lure is that you can buy the books and memorabilia IN Forks? Because, omg, Bella lives there!

My friend linked me to just the picture of the cake at first. Had it not been for the word "Twilight" at the bottom, I would've so thought it was some deformed genitalia or something equally awkward to be on a cake. That's not even meant to be rude, it's just the first thing I saw.

I know this is the internet, so you don't have to believe me when I say I am 17 and dislike Twilight with a passion. So these were almost knee-jerk reactions:

"Like it or not, Stephenie Meyer is a genius (oh she isn't? did YOU write a best selling novel that swept up an entire generation/nation? no? that's what I thought)"So, what do you think about Stephen King (an extremely well-known "genius" writer) saying that she, ahem, "can't write worth a darn?" For that matter, are you a world-renowned cook? No? Does that mean you can't tell the difference between limp, soggy sandwiches and well-cooked gourmet food?

"They're written for YOUNG people. Get a grip. They're supposed to be set in that mindset."I'm sorry, but I would like to say that that comment hurts me and says a lot about how bad my generation must be. Wow. I feel even worse for our children/your grandchildren.

My first thoguht was that it looks like a uterus and Fallopian tubes! Ooh, the black teeth and tongues! Are the books trash or treasure??? I'd call them "junk food" - we all like it, but it's no good for a steady diet! (and yes, the series is disgusting!)

this deserves no input from all twilight fans you know its a good im sorry the best story ever told no need to tell ppl who cant read how good a wast of your own breath move along if there wasnt any ppl who dont like twilight then we would all be smart and thats no fun so let there be idiots and let there be twilighters

Oh gods as much as I think that series is a waste of paper........HOW COULD YOU INSULT THE COVER?? I don't care if it's attached to a bad book, at least have a cake rendering of such a lovely cover look nice! And just. . .*headdesk*

this deserves no input from all twilight fans you know its a good im sorry the best story ever told no need to tell ppl who cant read how good a wast of your own breath move along if there wasnt any ppl who dont like twilight then we would all be smart and thats no fun so let there be idiots and let there be twilightersLOL! If this is an example of how "smart" Twilighters are supposed to be, then I am so glad to be a so called "stupid" non fan.

as for Twilight, I prefer my vampires to ACT like vampires. Which means I want them to consume other humans. I don't want them to "fall in love" with dumb teenagers. If I wrote Twilight, Bella would either be dead or undead in the first 1/2 of the book. And my vampires would not sparkle.

I'm more disgruntled about is that there's this argument over how good/not good the books are and how lame the readers of said books are. I've read the books, they're definitely not the best literature I've ever read (of course that's just my opinion).

What should be a bigger concern is that young people are being bashed for being interested in books. Regardless of how irritating the whole fan base has become and how bad the books may or may not be, kids are reading and are actually excited about it. What would you rather them do? What power these books must have if the kids would much rather set down their video games and walk away from their computers to read a book.

Please forgive my digression, but I would go as far as to say that the books work to stimulate the economy. The Twilighters have to have not only all the books, but the calendar, the t-shirt, the jewelry, and multiple versions of the DVD. The books are being made into movies which give people jobs and support the Forks, WA area. The movies sell tickets and even more merchandise.

Whether the books and movies are good or not is not for me to say. But hey, if the kids want to read, then that's okay by me.

I am a Twilight fan! Loved the books and the movie. Can't wait for New Moon's debut in theater in November. That being said, I decorate cakes. And while I'm no professional, I could have done TONS better than that!

As for Twilight, I am 30 years old & am almost done with the 1st book. I love it! It IS more for a teenager, the no sex, alcohol, drugs thing, but I am now a FAN! AND I am reading my mother's copy! Hey, if it gets all those teanagers reading, instead of watching TV, I think it's great!!!To all the idiots bashing Twilight lovers/haters...do you like every single thing your best friend likes? I think not. Do you bash them everytime they have an opinion? If so, you're not a great friend. Grow up & let others have their own opinions!

I'm with those who saw legs rather than arms. Unfortunately, I was reminded of the infamous claddagh cake.

I have read the Twilight books, and I had mixed impressions. On the one hand, the writing is technically well-done, and she has an eye for characterization and dialogue. On the other hand, the moment-to-moment life of a teenage girl, told in relentless first-person perspective, is not relished by large numbers of people who are not teenage girls.

I don't see much wrong with calling a spade a spade. Yes, people work hard and put a lot of creativity into their books. But let's be honest. Not every artist is a Picasso or a DaVinci. Many artists work just as hard and are perhaps even just as skillful, but they produce campy, contrived, hackneyed pieces that are meant to have commercial appeal and lure a certain segment of the population. Yes it's still art, technically. But a whole lot of it is trash art. And before you slam me for saying so, I happen to make a living producing trash art in the way of pinups and posters.

But I believe it's important to discern between good literature and trashy novels, fine art and trash art. There's no shame in loving trash, I certainly do. Just know the difference and don't elevate trash just because you happen to have a taste for it.

You know, I would like to see this cover reproduced by the person who did the French-flag-nails-alien-hand belly-cake. They seemed to have a pretty firm grip on vampire style and paleness. It should work out perfectly!

Saying it doesn't matter what kids read as long as they read is like the mothers that say "let the kid eat candy all day , at least they're eating". As adults in our society we have a RESPONSIBILITY, yep I said it, a RESPONSIBILITY to feed our children and our youth the best there is, physically, emotionally, and spiritually in order to raise them up to be the best that they can be. Whether or not the sales of such items "stimulates the economy" as you stated is a ridiculous rationalization. I would rather encourage the youth to become excited enough about something more edifying and "stimulate the economy" with purchases related to that. We as the adults of the world do not have to just sit back and accept everything that interests children or youth. They are, after all, CHILDREN AND YOUTH, and DESERVE our guidance.

Anonymous said "i dont see why everyone seems to be criticizing the cake.whoever made it would have seen this as an achievement and im quite sure none of yous and me included could make a different one

April 28, 2009 3:18 AM"

It's cake wrecks. It's what we do. Check out the past posts and you'll see more terrible things done to body parts in the name of cake.

Gary Oldman is my favorite vampire.

wv ingloomp. Someone who is ignorant (uneducated) to the existance of umpaloompa's(did I spell that right?)

Wow, only 180 comments! Most Twilight yes or no boards have thousands. It's crazy to think that not liking the books (especially if you haven't read them) makes you cool, anymore than liking the books makes you uncool.

@Agatha - I don't think it is a question of 'bashing' people who like the books. I found 'Twilight' (I read that one, to see what the fuss is about - couldn't face any more) to be a 'trashy' book in the sense @Shel used that word - they are not, IMO great (or even very good) literature, but I wouldn't criticise anyone for liking 'trash' - I like certain types of 'trashy' novels, films etc myself.

I also don't have much of a problem with the fact that the books are not terribly well written, and, frankly, pretty predictable. I got bored with them very fast for those reasons, but not everyone has the same taste and that's fine.

The problem which I have with 'Twilight' (and my impression is that this is what bothers an awful lot of people) is the not-so-subtle subtext; the misogyny, the anti-feminism, the message to all those young girls and women reading that actually, an abusive relationship with someone how dominates you, isolates you from your friends and family and endangers you is the perfect love you should be looking for.

If you have ever had much do do with anyone who has suffered domestic abuse, you would recognise that Bella's character, the way she is written, the way she acts and reacts, show all the signs of someone in aan abusive relationship. Edward is a controlling, domineering, and deeply damaging partner, and way in which the story is told leaves the impression that this is a good, even desirable pattern for realtionships. It is that, not the poor writing or clunky plots, which I have a problem with.

The Cake - that's baaad. And it's a shame, becasue the cover art is the best thing about the book...

azurelunatic, you summed up the way I felt about those books. The characterizations were excellent, but having everything from Bella’s point of view was just too … idiotic.

I used to be a teenage girl and I wanted to slap her for her stupidity!

The next two films are being filmed in the Vancouver, BC area. So Forks, WA may be “the home” of the Twilighters, but the principal filming is in BC (to get around U.S. child labor laws; remember Taylor Lautner is still a minor and he’s a big part of the second and subsequent books). There is a model façade of Bella’s home built in a Vancouver suburb, and Surrey is standing in for La Push.

I am embarrassed to know this.

Rumor is the next “Twilight” books are written from Edward’s point of view. I don’t think he’s much smarter than Bella …

If you click LeAnn’s link (yes, yours is better done) you will find a link to a Flickr group of Twilight cakes. Black icing is an epidemic!

@Judy: I agree, with a minor difference. I think it's okay to let your kids read trash once in a while, as long as you let them know you think it's trash. I believe enlightening young people on the difference and encouraging them to be well-rounded might actually be healthier in the long run than a strict diet of manners, etiquette, and exemplary education.

I'll admit that impeccable young people are a pleasant rarity in today's world, but I'm not convinced they're ideally suited to adapt well in a quickly changing future world.

After all, your insight to tell them it's trash, is in fact being a responsible guide.

Research from all angles is good but they need to be clear on their focus. Studying an opponent in any arena is a formidable way to do battle.

But keep in mind the saying "Garbage in - Garbage out" is not without merit.

Let them go out and see the world but as their appointed guides in the trenches we need to point out the land mines rather than just let them run willy-nilly in the mine field while we look the other way, hoping they'll come out the other side unscathed without any direction given. This would be irresponsible on our parts. ;)

To be fair, Judy, how many moms actually read up on the subject matter of Twilight before buying it for their daughters? Chances are, their daughters demanded the book and and Mom bought it because "hey, it's a book and books are good".

I mean, in an ideal world everyone would love and revere good literature and be educated enough to know that Twilight and similar books aren't exactly shining examples of profound literature. And as far as my rationalization that it stimulates the economy? You can't deny that the series has been a major cash cow for Stephenie Meyer and those involved in any way with the books.

I do agree that we as adults must be in charge of our children and their upbringing. Please specify what constitutes an "edifying" purchase because books seem to fall into that category. If you mean edifying in the sense that you'd rather buy a Jane Austen for your daughter, more power to you. But not all teenage girls can appreciate Austen and would rather read nothing than be forced to read it just because "Mom says it's better for me than just I'm really into reading". If I have to make the decision between buying something that some people (but not all) consider to be light and trashy reading, and nothing at all, I'd choose the trash because ultimately, it's more edifying than her zoning out in front of the computer.

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