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Until death do us part

Image you sitting opposite a person, you’ve known for a long time and instead of the loving, caring person, you find a cynic, sarcastic, bitter grump bag. While he’s obviously currently unhappy with all aspects of his life and especially his relationship, he claims I can’t be content as I say I am because of one major reason: I’m single. Very well.

But it gets even better. Back in the days relationships were much better. People tried to build a relationship over years, while today we just have sex and move on.

Well. I wasn’t on the market back then, so I can’t say for sure, but I believe one major difference between today and thirty years back is that women were meant to find a husband and work it out … until death do us part. The rules of society (whatever or whoever makes them)!

Today the core hasn’t changed. Deep down everybody wants to find a partner to share life, hopes, desires, wishes with, but I guess people are starting to realize that if you want that kind of deep connection it’s a lot – and I mean a lot – of work. And at some point maybe it’s too much work, or you realize you’ll never be able to reach that level of connectivity you wish for, or you’re starting to work against each other, or one part can’t keep up the pace, or you just stop loving and lose your drive, or …

I don’t know about thirty years back, but relationships are tricky. They are tricky because you can’t make decisions with reason only, actually you need to make them mostly with your heart. The consequences of decisions might rip the carpet from under your feet … in a good or a bad way. To really make it work, you have to open up, to share, to show your weak spots, to grow with each other. And you’re never safe. You’re never sure. As close as you can get to another human being, things can change in an instant. But isn’t that what makes it magic? Would it be something we all wish for, if it was easy?

One basic rule I’ve learned in life so far, is that you have to keep moving. If you’re stuck at one place too long, and you don’t get some peace in that place, you have to change something. Maybe even move on.