Cereal After Sex

Afterglow Toy Wipes are one of those little amenities that I sometimes I have difficulty justifying to myself. They cost probably too much, come in way too much packaging to be environmentally sound, and I sure as hell can't reuse them. But? I have a serious soft spot for these cereal-smelling wipes. They are just one of those little indulgences that, as often as I can, I have to grant myself.

I would not describe myself as "high maintenance". Sure, I like good food, clothes the fit me right, all that jazz, but ultimately I don't care if my stuff came from a bargain bin or a designer label. Just as long as it serves its function; I can be utilitarian that way. I can appreciate a good pun or a clever catch phrase, but that is not enough to make my purchase a product.

The Afterflow Toy Wipes from Aftercare (the same company that brings us all the lovely Devine Toys gear) are something of a luxury item. I get the individually packaged packs of 24 for a whopping (wait for it) $19.99 per unit. And yes, that really does come down to about a dollar a wipe when you account for shipping costs. So why on earth do I do this? Don't I generally pride myself on being able to see through advertising hype? Just singling out the product that will get the job done right, even if it doesn't have a clever name or cute packaging?

Honestly, because this is one indulgence that really seems worth it to me. Afterglow Toy Wipes are not better at getting your non-porous toys clean than, say, a 10% bleach solution wipe down or a thorough sudsing with antibacterial soap. But, what they are is gloriously convenient. I wouldn't recommend the 20 sheet packs because once opened they can dry out rather quickly; that, friends, is not especially convenient. The individually wrapped ones, though wasteful in terms of packaging, are what I will spring for.

Besides not drying out quickly? The individual wipes are discreet both in size and appearance, so I can leave them out on the dresser or throw some in my purse without any questions. The wrapping does say what their intended use is if you go hunting through the fine print, but a cursory glance isn't going to reveal anything more than just that these are wipes meant to sanitize. They also fit neatly into the back pocket of jeans so you can mop up post-coital messes when you take it back to his/her/their place after a night out. Hell, they fit under the mattress or in the bedside table drawer or in a clutch or the glove compartment or really anywhere.

Okay. So they're convenient. We like that. But, how does using these differ fundamentally from stocking up on wet naps from a barbeque place? Well, for one, you look more classy pulling one of these out as opposed to a Buffalo Wild Wings wipe after sex. Additionally, and perhaps more importantly, these are decently body-safe. They are specifically designed to be safe to use on sex toys without any further post-cleaning-cleaning. Because who the hell wants to wipe their toy down only to need to wipe it down again after? Here are the ingredients, a few of which are self-explanatory, though most will need some explanation.

This product is only a natural product in the loosest sense of the term, but none of these ingredients should be toxic in the small quantities they occur in with this product. So, you should be able to wipe your toys down, let them dry, and pack them away without any further preparation for next time. I'm extremely sensitive to infections and have had no problems with using these wipes - even with the presence of the bergamot oil.

Experience

All told, I'm consistently impressed with these wipes. They hold up well to cleaning several toys - even a bit vigorously - and have a healthy quantity of cleaning liquid on them so they don't shrivel up too quickly. I can usually swab down 4 or 5 silicone dildos completely before a wipe starts to get a bit thin and dry looking, but I can usually still squeeze a few more uses out of it. Of course, as I mentioned earlier, these won't stand up to the air; they will dry up if left out. You can get several uses out of one wipe, but you need to make those uses consecutive! The only issue I do have is that unless you polish away the cleaning agent after wiping down, you'll get streaks on your toys. This is especially true for stainless steel, glass and other hard materials.

I love the way these smell. For some reason they are billed as being fragrance-free, but other reviewers will bear me out on this when I say that they do have a scent. They smell very distinctly of Fruit Loops. Seriously, I'm not the only one that thinks so! I recommend these for non-porous toys for a few reasons. Firstly, because these are most practical to use on a toy that will not absorb bacteria. Using these (expensive) wipes on a toy that cannot ever be properly cleaned due to its porosity, I don't know. That seems like a waste to me. The other reason relates to the scent. If you don't want your toys to forever smell like cereal, keep this away from your porous materials. They most likely will soak up that breakfast-y deliciousness.

For me, these are a luxury worth splurging on. I'm weirdly fond of the citrus-y Fruit Loop smell. Plus, I am a huge sucker for how convenient these are that I can overlook the waste factor and price. I get a lot of use out of these, particularly in sessions where I am using multiple toys. So while they are costly, you do get quite a lot of bang for your buck with the individually wrapped wipes. Not to mention, I feel safer with these chemicals near my vagina than what's in a lot of baby wipes. Sad for our babies, but unfortunately true.

This product was provided at a discounted price in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the
FTC guidelines.