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Episode 1 "Fap P. Underboob"

Fap P. Underboob is the main protagonist of Fallout New Vegas For Pimps. He seems to have a dislike, or perhaps is often amused by, peoples incorrect use of conjugation. As a result of being shot in the head Fap can hear something claiming to be his conscience. He is often at odds with the voice but sometimes likes it for the banter and insults it provides.

Fap P. Underboob was born in Paradise Falls, Capital Wastleland. He was born to his mother, Clover, a local slave, and an unknown father. At some point Fap, mostly likely with help from his mother, made his way to Little Lamplight and came to call those caves home for the early part of his child hood. During Fap's time at Lamplight he chose, or was given, the name 'Crackbaby' to go by instead of his birth given name. While in Lamplight Fap was taking part in a frog dissection in Biology class and accidentally blinded himself in the right eye while attempting to head butt his lab partner, whom was holding a scalpel.

Like all older children of Lamplight he left when he became too old to stay in the caves and so became a wasteland wander. At some point he made his way from Washington DC to New Vegas and decided to call the Mojave wasteland home. He found a job in Primm as a courier for the Mojave Express, owned by Johnson Nash.

One fateful day Fap was given a courier job to deliver a package, a Platinum Chip, to an unknown recipient on the New Vegas Strip. He, however, was intercepted and tied up by an unknown man in a chequer suit and, after learning he was set-up, is shot in the head by the man, who disappears with the package. Luckily for Fap the incident is seen by a local robot, Vincent, who digs Fap out of his shallow grave and takes him to Doc Mitchell for medical treatment.

Amazingly Fap makes a full recovery with one exception, he now hears a strange voice in his head which claims to be his conscience. Although they are often at odds the banter between Fap and his conscience is amusing to anyone that can hear it and, when they aren't busy fighting with each other, they join teams to insult and demean all those around them, even though the people can't hear most of the insults because they are in Fap's head.

Fap leaves Doc Mitchel's house after his recovery and sets out to find the man in the chequer suit and exact his revenge. Fap's dislike towards the misuse of conjugation becomes immediately apparent as he starts to explore and interact with wastelanders living in the local town, called Goodsprings.

After learning the ropes of the Mojave wastes from Sunny Smiles Fap soon learns that the man in the chequer suit may of gone to Primm, a nearby town. He immediately sets out and after a few run-ins with the 'Power Rangers' (Fap's nickname for the Powder Gangers) he arrives at Primm. He rescues the towns deputy, Beagle, from a splinter group of Powder Gangers after he learns Beagle might know where the chequer suited man might be. Fap gets sidetrack however and decides to bring law and order to Primm in the form of a new sheriff rather then pursue the man that shot him in the head.

He makes his way to the NCR Correctional Facility to find a former inmate, Meyers, that he learns used to be a sheriff. Meyers demands a pardon from the NCR before he becomes the sheriff and so Fap goes to Mojave Outpost to request a pardon. Along the way he meets Willow, a female wastlelander who has recently been robbed and asks Fap for help. Fap agrees to help the down on her luck lass in exchange for companionship and sex (which isn't agreed upon). At this point Fap's conscience also gives Fap the humorous nickname 'Roadside Rapist'; and even though no one else can hear it Fap is usually annoyed and embarrassed by the name. Fap arrives at the Mojave Wasteland and then pays for a pardon for Meyers.

Just before leaving the outpost Fap notices some nearby cars that are still in working order and decides he has to buy one. After performing some... tasks... he manages to get a discount but still can't afford a car. Disappointed, Fap returns to Meyers and informs him that he has got his pardon and is now the sheriff of Primm.

Fap then sets out to try and find Willow's lost toys and gun. They find a man called Kyle and murder him for Willow's things. Willow then informs Fap that a ghoul called the 'Big Guy' might have more of her stuff and so Fap sets of to find him, arriving at Novac. Fap learns from a local shop keeper that ghouls have been sighted just west of Novac and Fap also talks to a local guard called Manny that has seen the man that shot Fap, but won't tell Fap anything until Fap helps with the towns ghoul problems. Fap also buys the key to a beat up pick-up truck while in Novac.

Fap arrives at the source of the ghouls, an old REPCONN rocket test site. He is then caught up in a feud between some religious ghouls called the Followers of the Bright and a band of confused nightkin. Fap is sent to deal with the super mutant nightkin by the leaders of the Followers. Fap completely annihilates the nightkin and is then tasked with helping the ghouls fly into space in old rockets stored at the test sight. After finding the needed components for the rockets, and getting raped by a grandma, Fap delivers the components and the ghouls repair the rockets and fly into space, thereby fixing Novac's ghoul problem. Also while at the test site Fap finds the 'Big Guy' and gives Willow another of her lost items.

Fap returns to Novac and is told by Manny that the chequer suited man's name is Benny and he has left to Boulder City. Fap quickly sets of to catch up with Benny. Fap arrives and finds a band of Khans in a stand of with the NCR. Fap learns from the Khans, who had been traveling with Benny, that Benny left them to go to the New Vegas Strip. After helping the Khans peacefully get out of the NCR's territory Fap sets of for the Strip. Along the way Fap meets Veronica Santangelo, who decides to become Fap's companion.

After informing Willow that Veronica is now also his girlfriend Fap sets of for New Vegas to finally confront Benny. Along the way Fap decides his quest in life is to "get all the girlfriends" because Willow and Veronica were getting along so well together. Fap arrives in Freeside and is just about to go see Benny when he gets sidetracked by a child named Max and his toy gun, Euclid's C-Finder. Fap finally convinces Max to sell him the gun for 20 caps but finds out it really is just a toy and can't do any damage, or so Fap believes, not knowing at this point that it is a target designator for a orbital satellite.

After being talked to by too many people at once Fap decides there are too many people in Freeside and so decides to use the 'hipster entrance' to get into New Vegas. He goes to the community of North Vegas thinking their may be a way to get onto the New Vegas Strip that way but he once again gets sidetracked and is given a mission by Crandon, a guard and leader of North Vegas, to help deal with some problems the community has been having.

Once at the New Vegas Strip, Fap finds Benny and but he lets him get away. He is reunited with Benny at the Legion camp and finally gets his revenge. Fap later joins the Legion in their fight to defeat the NCR and replaces his brain with a computer to get rid of his conscience.