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Gossip section added to church bulletins

ADVENTIST WORLD --- Effective this Sabbath, Adventist church bulletins will contain a gossip section.

The new section will not be called "gossip" but will be incorporated into the church family announcements section.

Congregations will be required to list "announcements" in order of juiciness.

Although no solid evidence will be required to back up any of the gossip, church office staff have been instructed to "maximize the whisperability of each claim using as many exclamation marks as space will allow."

On gossip-heavy Sabbaths when the announcement section is full, gossip can also be framed as prayer requests.

Church administrators advised to skip the gossip section on Sabbaths that feature an Ephesians 4:29 scripture reading.

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2 Comments

This is old news. I have been putting out our local SDA church newsletter for a very long time. I publish SDA news. Call it gossip if you want. The members love it. Can’t wait to get the next issue. All I gotta do is listen. Read the good old Review. Attend a church board. Maybe a constituency meeting. Check my sources at the GC. Check out a few SDA church bulletin online each week. Research many of those SDA web sites. Good stuff out there. Keep it going. Lotsa time on my hands .

Many church folks are “gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to” (1 Timothy 5:12-13). “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much” (Proverbs 20:19). “… a gossip separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28). Gossips and slanderers will receive the wrath of God (Romans 1:29-32). “A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of wisdom holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11:12-13).

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