I am going to discuss The Dark Knight Rises at length, now, and I am of no mind to be careful about what I reveal — like I’ve said before, I don’t really “review” things, like, “Should I go and see this on Saturday?” Yes, you should go see The Dark Knight Rises. That is my review. What follows here is a discussion of the movie, and to that effect you must understand that there will be Spoilers, and this entire opening paragraph before the jump is actually just an extended Spoiler Warning, and I don’t want to hear any of you punk suckers crying to me if I reveal that Hulk punches Thor or something, all right?

In my last post, I suggested that I had a number of questions and problems with The Avengers, despite generally having a pretty good time while watching it. I don’t know if other people, ordinary humans with their inferior movie-watching abilities, are capable of both simultaneously enjoying something and engaging with it critically, but I am.

ANYWAY, when I declared that it was possible to make basically the same movie but also fix all of the problems that I had, Moff (author of Moff’s Law) admitted that he almost believed me.

Look, I’m not trying to give anybody a hard time here. The Avengers was a fun movie, and I was committed to liking it. Hulk smashed, Thor knocked some stuff around with his hammer, Captain America threw his shield at guys. You know, the stuff that happens in The Avengers. Every moment of the movie was an exciting and dramatic moment — people were falling out of things or into pits or whatever, getting zapped by stuff, things were going wrong. There were a lot of jokes, which were great. All in all, A+ time, would watch again.