A woman recently divorced from a French prince and her washed-up actor brother return home to Australia, hoping to reconcile with their dying mother. But neither is prepared for the ensuing drama that brings the dread of their childhood back to life.

Alright so that's what Netflix has to say about the movie now let's watch this thing and see what's up.

Whoa! Starts off with some chick on a beach with a little white gown on, the camera is abover her and zooming in closer, there's a bunch of seagulls flying around, I wonder if they poop on her...I see cleavage! Uh ewww then they cut to some old gross looking lady in bed and she's all sick and stuff. Well well well hello hot nurse WTF every time there's a hot chick for like 10 seconds they cut to an old person. This is bullshit man!

Uhhh it's just a bunch of old people talking and Geoffrey Rush narrates everything. He's a cool dude though who had a wonderful performance as Detective 1 in Hoodwink back in 1981. I think his career went downhill after that and he got stuck making stupid shit like The King's An Idiot and Can't Speak or whatever that movie was. Ewwww this old lady just talked about penis.

No seriously, it's still just old people talking. Not even any good prospects for nude scenes. PLEASE KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON OLD LADY! What in the fuck??? I hope what I think is gonna happen does not freaking happen! NO NO NO NO oh god please oh wait that's hot! It cut to Geoffrey Rush and some redheaded slag in bed doin the naughty uh but he's old and lost his boner so there goes that. Oh just what I wanted! More old people talking about shit I don't care about.

Well this is totally boring. Time to read Batgirl 16 and see what's up with the Death of the Family story arc with the return of the Joker this month. It's pretty awesome so far. Right now Joker wants Batgirl to marry him and if she doesn't he will kill her mother who is strapped to a chair with a nail bomb under it. Oh, Joker also cut off his own face, no idea why other than because he's fucking crazy but there's probably some symbolistic reason to it for him that I'm too stupid to realize or it hasn't been revealed.

That was soooooooo good. Can't wait to see what happens in Batman #17 next month! The Joker always ups the ante and who the hell knows what's under that dinner tray he's holding. Should be cool! Unlike this movie which is still just old people talking. Guess I'll read batman #16 and Batman & Robin #16 to kill the time.

Well Geoffrey Rush is a stud in this movie. He's having sex again with some chick. I don't even know if it's the same one but he's had at least 4 bedroom scenes so far where he's banging some young tart. Ah well back to reading Batman #16 where Joker has taken over Arkham Asylum and Batman is just breaking in to try and save the day. Of course it won't be easy and I am sure Joker will have all sorts of crazy shit for him...like that horse on fire that's charging him followed by a room full or armed and armored inmates. Oh boy!

Hell yea that was pretty bitchin. I like the art in Batgirl more though but this whole Death of the Family arc is pretty awesome. Oh yea, I'm still watching this movie and there's still just a bunch of old people talking about shit no one cares about so I read Batman & Robin #16 and that was alright. Now just have to wait until next month for the #17 issues of these to see what happens next.

Uhh so because I was reading comics throughout this movie I don't really know what the hell happened. It was pretty boring anyway. At the end the old lady went to take a shit so her daughter helped her to the commode and then when she was done poopin the old lady stood up, fell down and died. Then the daughter made all the servants and nurses breakfast the next morning and one of the nurses went to get some other lady and found her in the bathtub dead because she slit her wrists. They divvied up the will and said a bunch of boring shit I didn't care about, Geoffrey Rush performed on stage in a play, they had a flashback to the old lady when she was younger on the beach just like in the opening scene where seagulls were poopin on her and then the credits rolled. So in my expert analysis of the movie it seems the overall message is that life is full of a bunch of shit and then you die.

Movie Rating: P for Poop. There was just poop all through this movie. It started with bird poop, it ended with her poop and all through the film people just opened their mouths and poop fell out. Words were probably supposed to come out but all I saw coming out was shit. It's boring as hell and I have no idea what happened or what it was about. Be sure to have something else to do if you're gonna watch this movie.

Bonus Comic Book Rating because I was fucking bored during the movie and read comics:

Batgirl #16: This was pretty cool. I like the art and Gail Simones writing this issue was solid plus it's got the freakin Joker in it so it's like a must read.

Batman and Robin #16: I liked this one the least. It was still good but it wasn't as strong as the previous 2 issues or the other #16 issues in this story arc. Still worth reading cuz it's got Joker but if you skipped it you wouldn't really be missing much.