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BP Mature Audience OnlyMA This blog post is specifically designed to be viewed by adults and therefore may be unsuitable for children under 17. This post may contain one or more of the following: crude indecent language (L) or graphic violence (V).

Where’s the Other Daddy?

By D.M. Wright

I keep staring at my children in disbelief. They are so much bigger/older than I remember. Why am I missing so much time? It does not make sense to me.

I am at the park with the boys. My oldest is pushing the baby in the swing; my blonde one is chasing some poor girl with a stick. I should probably stop him. But I just sit and watch. I am on a bench off to the side. It still hurts somewhat to breathe so I am taking it easy. My husband couldn’t recall the doctor saying there were any broken ribs, but he says those are easy to overlook.

“Mama!” The baby giggles and waves at me.

I wave and smile back at him. What hurts the most is my time missing from being with this baby. I was so happy to stay at home with him to capture and enjoy every moment of his baby life that I missed with the other two. I feel as if this time has been stolen from me. I am so angry with this unknown person that ran me off the road. He is lucky that he did not stick around. We would have had words.

My oldest is so good with the baby. He is taking care of him and being a great big brother. He takes a lot of pride in the fact that the baby looks just like him as well. You can completely tell that they are brothers. The blonde one looks just like his Dad. Except for the blonde. And sometimes he gives me these looks that are just like his Dad’s as well. They make me want to smack him! But I love him to death anyways.

He comes over to me with his stick and sits down next to me.

“Mom?” He waves the stick around, narrowly missing both of our eyes.

“Hey, take it easy with that, please.” I say as I duck away.

He lowers it to the ground. “Sorry.” Then he says, “Where’s the other Daddy?”

I frown at him. “What other Daddy?” This kid is always batting out of left field. I never know what he is going to say.

“The other Daddy! He came with us to the park, took us swimming, to the zoo…” he exclaims.

I shake my head. “I’m sorry, honey, I don’t know who you are talking about.” I pat his hair. When it grows out, it really grows out, not down. He has a little “fro”. And the ends get really blonde so it looks like a halo, which is ironic.

“Mom! You need to remember!” He was starting to get upset.

“OK! I’m sorry. When was the last time we..you..saw him?” I smile at him gently. Maybe he is imaginary. Kids often have imaginary friends, right? My husband works quite a lot so I wouldn’t be surprised if he made up an imaginary Daddy.

“I can’t remember the day. But it was when we went to the hotel and then Grandma’s.” He frowns.

“Hotel?!” I smile, “Wow! We were big spenders! How long did we stay there?”

“A couple of nights.” He is still frowning. “I feel like you are not believing me.”

He is such a smart kid. “I’m sorry, buddy. I just don’t remember, but I’m trying to be nice.” I shrug helplessly.

“I know.” He plays with the stick in the dirt. “But you need to try.”

“OK. I will try, I promise.” Easier said than done. Little does he know that I’ve already been trying.

——

I decided not to mention the “Other Daddy” to my husband. Who knew what can of worms that might open.

“How was your day?” I smile at him as he walks in the house.

“Wonderful!” He smiles. It seems like a tight smile but a smile nonetheless.

“Good.” I smile again, but definitely unsure. And a little uneasy, but I don’t know why. “I made some spaghetti for dinner. The kids already ate, but I waited to eat with you.” Another smile.

“Ok. You didn’t have to do that, though.” He frowns. “You could have eaten with them.” He grabs me into a hug. “I’m sorry I’m late again. I am trying to be better.”

I smile and relax. Glad that that is all he is grumpy about. “I know.”

——

I sit up in bed, gasping for air. My dream holds all sorts of answers for my memory, I just know it. But it is disappearing as quickly as my sleepy brain awakes. I sigh.

Maybe I should see a hypnotist. That should do the trick! I will find one first thing tomorrow.