(Bruce Buffer is fairly confident that Griffin will outstrike Ortiz to a unanimous decision. Joe Rogan is peaking on a DMT trip and is desperately trying to keep his shit together as Tito’s head explodes into a screaming ball of golden phosphorescence. / Photo courtesy of the UFC 106: Weigh In Pics set on CombatLifestyle.com.)

Greetings PotatoNation and thanks Ben(s) for the gracious introduction. As you’ve heard, my name is Chad and before about 10 days ago, I’d never before written a story about the well-being of another man’s intestines. During the last week, in my position as Lead MMA Editor at The Sporting News, I penned about 15. If you’re so inclined, you can check out the magazine’s combat sports blog called The Rumble. Otherwise, thanks for following along with tonight’s action.

As the show begins, both Goldberg and Rogan look as hungover as ever. In hashing out the particulars of tonight’s main event, both guys steadfastly steer clear of mentioning the recent hard times faced by both Tito Ortiz and Forrest Griffin. After some perfunctory opening remarks, we head to the cage for the fight everyone agrees has no business on pay-per-view …Amir Sadollah vs. Phil Baroni

Round OneBaroni comes out aggressively, winging punches to Sadollah’s body. Baroni lands a right that briefly puts Sadollah down, but he recovers and they clinch against the fence. Baroni is having success with uppercuts. Amir gets separation and lands a low kick. They go back to the fence, where Amir looks relentlessly for the Thai clinch, while Baroni lands some punches. At 2:34, Baroni gets a takedown, but can’t do much from Sadollah’s guard and lets him up with 1:30 to go. Surprise, surprise, Baroni is starting to look gassed. Sadollah lands a knee and straight right that cuts Baroni over the left eye. Sadollah lands a couple of knees and Baroni ends the round digging for a takedown. The older fighter is a bit of a bloody mess at the horn.Round TwoAs if sensing that Baroni is tiring, Sadollah takes the lead to open round two, throwing some nice combos. For the first half of the round, he controls Baroni against the fence, mixing in some punches and knees. Baroni looks super tired as they separate with 2:00 left. After a brief exchange, Sadollah forces the clinch again. He’s dominating this round from that position. In the final minute, Baroni finds some space and lands some punches. He’s very tired at the end of the round.

Round ThreeSadollah lands a pair of leg kicks to open the final stanza. Rogan loves it. Baroni lands a couple of strikes, but is having trouble mustering combinations. Amir remains dedicated to the low kick. At 3:11, they go against the cage again and Sadollah lands a pair of elbows that open a cut high on Baroni’s forehead. Both guys are starting to slow down, as Amir’s kicks lack the snap of his previous efforts. Baroni is huffing and puffing. Amir buckles him with a knee and follows it with a punching combo at 1:30. A high kick by Sadollah at 1:08. He’s opening up on Baroni in the final minute. At the horn, call it a victory for Amir via thorough ass-beating.

Round OneThey touch ‘em up and Cane tosses out a couple of leg kicks. Nog gives him one of his own. After a short feeling-out process, Nog lands two hard left hooks. Cane may be in trouble and literally runs away. Once Nog catches him, he lands two more left hooks. Now Cane is definitely hurt. Nog rushes in, lands yet another big left and drops Cane. Nog follows him to the mat with a punch and referee Steve Mazzagatti stops it.

Rogerio Nogueira def. Luiz Cane via TKO, Round 1

For some reason, the UFC opts to show the Marcus Davis vs. Ben Saunders fight, despite the fact that it aired on the SpikeTV broadcast just over an hour ago. Since I assume all you cheap bastards watched the free portion of the show, we’ll skip the play-by-play, except to say Saunders def. Davis via KO (knee), round 1.

Round OneVolkmann looks very awkward on his feet, but throws a left to get us started. Thiago throws a couple of experimental uppercuts and whips out a high kick. They clinch up against the cage, where Thiago lands a throw straight into side control. Volkmann gets half guard, but is cut on the bridge of the nose. Volkmann forces a scramble and gets to his feet, where Thiago scores a trip takedown and immediately takes mount. Volkmann scrambles back to half-guard. With 2:00 left, Thiago drops some short elbows. Volkmann gets back to full guard and Thiago backs out to the feet with 1:30 left. After another exchange in the clinch, Thiago throws a combination that ends with a straight right that drops Volkmann, but he is saved by the bell as he hits the canvas.

Round TwoThiago catches a kick by Volkmann and drops him to the mat with a sweeping kick. Volkmann pops back up and gets his own takedown into side control. Thiago scrambles up with 3:00 left. After a minute’s worth of fairly even striking, they go back to the mat with Volkmann on Thiago’s back. Thiago sweeps him to get top position with 1:20 left. Thiago stands and lands an impressive punch to his grounded opponent just before time expires.

Round ThreeIn the early going, Thiago floors Volkmann with a punch. He follows to the canvas and gets north-south position, but Volkmann worms out and gets back to standing. Volkmann shoots, but Thiago steps out of it easily. Thiago tries a strange-looking axe kick to Volkmann’s torso, but the American uses it as an excuse to get Thiago to the mat and works his way to side control. With 1:50 left Volkmann catches Thiago in a crucifix position and lands some punches. As Thiago squirms out, Volkmann tries for his back and bungles it, ending with Thiago on top in side control. Volkman locks on a darce choke from the bottom, but Thiago gets out and ends the round with some more ground and pound. A good, back and forth fight.

Paulo Thiago def. Jacob Volkmann vis unanimous decision

Another fight from the SpikeTV broadcast is up next, as Kendall Grove takes on Jake Rosholt. Grove looks fairly impressive in finishing this fight, defeating Rosholt via triangle choke in round one. Not so impressive that I wanted to watch this fight twice in one night, but still pretty good. So, moving on …Anthony Johnson vs. Josh Koscheck

Round OneJohnson dwarfs Koscheck in the cage. Koscheck hits Johnson with a left hook early that seems to surprise the bigger man. Johnson partially lands a high kick. Koscheck lands a winging right hand. Johnson lands a straight right. Nice striking early from each guy. Johnson with an inside leg kick. Koscheck tries for a takedown at 2:40, but Johnson stuffs it. In a scramble, Johnson knees Koscheck in the face while Koscheck clearly has both knees on the canvas. Time is called, but Koscheck stays down for a few minutes, while Johnson loses a point. Multiple replays make it unclear as to whether or not it was Johnson’s knee or finger that caught Koscheck in the eye. After a delay they restart the fight …

Johnson throws another high kick, blocked by Koscheck. Johnson is trying to push the pace, but Koscheck shoots in and gets a takedown with 53 seconds left. Koscheck has Johnson’s back, where he lands a punch, then a knee to the body before flirting with a rear naked choke. Johnson gets a reversal as the round ends.

Round TwoJohnson lands a low kick early and in a punching exchange, Johnson comes away claiming he was poked in the eye. There is a short delay and on the restart Koscheck lands a nice high kick. Koshcheck tries to turn it on with a punching combination, but Johnson begs off claiming another eye poke, leading to another stoppage. This is really bizarre. The replay clearly shows Koscheck’s finger go into Johnson’s eye during a punch.

After the restart – with 3:30 officially on the clock – Johnson and Koscheck continue to throw down. Koscheck secures a takedown into half guard with 3:00 left. He lands some hard short elbows and just grinds on Johnson for the next two minutes. With one minute left Koscheck slips to Johnson’s back, secures a rear naked choke and gets the tap out with 15 second left in the round.

Josh Koscheck def. Anthony Johnson via submission (choke), round two

Tito Ortiz vs. Forrest Griffin

Round OneThe first round opens with both fighters trading punches. Griffin is perhaps getting the better of it. With 3:43 left, Tito shoots and gets the takedown. From inside Griffin’s guard, he starts to dish out some punishment. At 3:00, Griffin uses a Kiruma try to throw Ortiz off. Ortiz pushes him up against the fence. Griffin reverses the position and lands a couple knees to the body. After a separation, Griffin throws a two-punch combo, then another with a kick. In another exchange, Griffin lands two more straight punches. Probably his best of the fight. Tito shoots with 1:00 on the clock, but Griffin avoids the takedown and they grind to the end of an even first round.

Round TwoTito gets a takedown 30 seconds into round two. He lands a couple of elbows, but Griffin stands as Ortiz tries to move to half-guard. Griffin lands a front kick to the face of Ortiz that sends his mouthpiece flying. After a restart, Griffin lands a low kick then a body kick. Ortiz gets another takedown with 2:20 left and almost moves to the mount. From Griffin’s butterfly guard, Ortiz lands some short punches, then a pretty solid elbow. Then another that cuts griffin open with 50 second left. With 35 seconds left, Griffin sweeps Ortiz into half guard and lands some short elbows and a body shot. Forrest is dumping blood all over Ortiz as the round ends.

Round ThreeGriffin lands a solid left hand and keeps right on kicking, regardless of Ortiz’s takedown ability. Griffin lands another solid punch. Griffin is definitely the aggressor on the feet, though it’s unclear how much he has left on his punches. Lands a right, then a jab, then a body shot. He’s picking Tito apart, landing a two-punch combo. Ortiz shoots, but Griffin fends him off with 2:40 remaining. Griffin comes forward with four punches, then a pair of leg kicks. Ortiz looks very passive this round. Griffin turning it up a notch with the striking, including a high kick. With 1:20 left, Griffin is firing combinations at will. Tito lands a left, finally coming forward. Stuffs another takedown attempt with 45 seconds left. Griffin pours on a few more punches as the fight ends.

Griffin clearly won the third, but will it be enough?

And, yes it was. Forrest Griffin def. Tito Ortiz via split decision.

A pretty good fight. One judge scored it 30-27 for Forrest, which is mind-boggling. Griffin is humble in victory, Ortiz stumbles his way through a concession speech. Both agree that they should do it one more time.

With the UFC rolling out yet another fight that we already saw on SpikeTV, I’m out of here. Thanks all, for reading.

DUDE!!! DON'T EVER PUT ANY MONEY ON AN MMA FIGHT THAT YOU HAVE A GUT INSTINCT ABOUT. YOU ARE 0 FOR 5 IN YOUR PICKS THIS TIME...WOW MAN, GREAT JOB. DON'T QUIT YOUR JOB AT QUIZNO'S JUST YET BUDDY.

Randy Pan- November 22, 2009 at 4:15 pm

It's sort of weird to see older fighters re-debut in the UFC (Baroni, Ortiz) and do poorly against mid-range competition. It makes me think about how Liddell, CroCop, Wanderlei Silva, and (to a smaller extent) Couture have all faded.

clutchy hopkins- November 22, 2009 at 7:29 am

fuckin ortiz, should never let that monstrosity near a mic. everything he said made him look stupid. funny when rogan put him on the spot asking what injury it was hahaha

vengful1- November 22, 2009 at 1:45 am

Talk all you want Tito, you fat headed SOB. You haven't KOd/TKOd anyone except Shamrock(big F'n deal) in 8+ years. You suck and your girl is a filthy, filthy whore.

Angry Monkey- November 21, 2009 at 11:29 pm

Yes, please delete your comments if you have mentioned a stream that works. This is how they get shut down. Anyone remember Justin.tv???

NateGetsIrate- November 21, 2009 at 11:25 pm

Fuck you Forrest Griffin!!! Not only did i lose 5 bucks for betting on Tito (like i was gonna bet REAL money on Tito), but he couldn't even finish a gimpy version of the HBBB. Forrest is freaking worthless. I predict that he gets smashed in the next rematch cuz Tito's conditioning was obviously bad in this fight.

Dmonicideals- November 21, 2009 at 11:11 pm

@dlb: No, it doesn't have anything to do with UFC popularity, it is twitters failing popularity that is what is causing that. Twitter is a worthless piece of shit, and finally MMA fans are starting to realize it.

@cagefightmon: you are retarded. If it is so bad, please stop watching and go do something you would enjoy, like touch little boys or rape goats.

se7en0we2- November 21, 2009 at 11:09 pm

@831...hey son keep those gums shut on the internet links son. you might rank it for the rest of us SON...

Enough with the acronyms already toolbag. It was not funny the last two times and its not about to start getting funny. Go play on the freeway.

cagefightmon- November 21, 2009 at 10:58 pm

UFC Improv

U-nwarranted
F-ake
C-lowns

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 10:47 pm

dlb, alcoholism is a disease.

dlb- November 21, 2009 at 10:25 pm

Listen, I know twitter isn't even close to a perfect gauge but SNL was trending higher than UFC all night and the kid from 3rd Rock From the Sun, who was hosting, was higher than any fighter.

UFC was always #1 on fight night with the fighters high up on the list.

Based on that and talking with my friends I'm wondering if the honeymoon stage with fans and the UFC is starting to wane. Especially after people have seen cards like UFC 100 and fights like Silva moving up and dominating a "top fighter".

Maybe people, having seen the future of MMA in guys like Silva and GSP, aren't going to put up with lackluster cards.

Just wish we could get accurate PPV numbers.

831 Son- November 21, 2009 at 10:20 pm

@cagefightmon, you are a fucking retard! Die fag..

Anyway, Sopcast had the best fucking stream I have ever seen. I have been streaming events online for years and that was the best one yet. Sad that Koshcheck won but whatever. What the fuck was Tito doing in the third round? What a dumb ass. Ruptered S4 C9 C6 C7 disc bro.

Catalyst8487- November 21, 2009 at 10:17 pm

They'll let you fight with a "cracked skull"? They scrap fights like the Shamrock/Kimbo one for a cut on the eye, but a cracked skull is okay? Tito = Full of shit?

cagefightmon- November 21, 2009 at 10:08 pm

UFC Tito vs. Forrest
U-ltimate
F-ucking
sCandal

Round three . . . Tito gives up??

Precursor to the third fight??
Such Crap!!!!!!!!!!!

UFC = WWE

clutchy hopkins- November 21, 2009 at 9:51 pm

hahaaha hope you didnt bet any money with those picks mt59801

Chiggs- November 21, 2009 at 9:49 pm

Tito's done, especially if he is having more back problems, ya could tell he was feeling it in the 3rd an then when the fight was done, looked like he was wincing when he was puttin his shirt on. Ahh well, I always thot he was done so no matter really, glad to see Forrest back to his usual self. Ok nite of fights, bout it really though...

PurplePickle- November 21, 2009 at 9:48 pm

Dammit Dundas. Griffin defeats Griffin? Really?

Just because you fixed it doesn't mean it aint coming out of your paycheck.

robthom- November 21, 2009 at 9:43 pm

Did he just shit out a rambling pile of excuses?!!!

Shady086- November 21, 2009 at 9:42 pm

Forrest Griffin def. Forrest Griffin via split decision...really?

robthom- November 21, 2009 at 9:42 pm

Well that was a toofer IMO. My boy Forrest looked great and got back in the W's. And that other guy didn't.

Koeikan- November 21, 2009 at 9:41 pm

Wow... Another split decision.

I didn't think round 1 was *that* close, but I'll have to watch it again.

Lethal Infection- November 21, 2009 at 9:40 pm

Tito's conditioning has faded... sad to see him so out of gas by round 3. Good thing it wasn't a 5 round title fight. Good win for Forrest. Who had the fight scored for Tito? Must be one of the judges from TUF show, cuz they ALL suck.

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 9:40 pm

Forrest " I had nothing "

What a fucking champ.

robthom- November 21, 2009 at 9:38 pm

Gosh, tito is moving like he's underwater.

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 9:38 pm

TWO MORE ROUNDS!
TWO MORE ROUNDS!
MORE TITO BEATINGS!

Koeikan- November 21, 2009 at 9:38 pm

Good for Forrest. He needed that...badly.

Koeikan- November 21, 2009 at 9:35 pm

2nd round was pretty close... He needs the third to be safe (so far so good).

robthom- November 21, 2009 at 9:35 pm

Forrest is looking pretty good. He looks relaxed and focused. tito, not so much.

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 9:34 pm

Unless Tito taps or knocks him out, my boy has it by the judges.

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 9:30 pm

mmm. feet taste good.

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 9:22 pm

Ug. I saw this in a dream.

Tito digs up his bread and butter GnP and ends it.
But I'm drunk, so who knows!

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 9:20 pm

@ Terminator, I see what you did thar!

rockhuddy- November 21, 2009 at 9:19 pm

Ha! Tito's getting booed.

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 9:19 pm

I hate Ortiz but it's kinda nice to have him back.

I sure do hope Forrest is all out of bubble gum.

Terminator- November 21, 2009 at 9:19 pm

We could be watching the heavyweight championship fight now if it wasn't for Canada

Koshchek needs to shave his head, that haircut of his makes him look like he has downs-syndrome

Bigslick- November 21, 2009 at 9:06 pm

That was the worst fight I've seen in a long long time. First of all... no Eye poke. Secondly... 2 eye pokes to Rumble. Lay and pray and do nothing for almost 3 minutes. That's just disgusting. Kos is a cocky little fuck.. Georges would destroy him.

Doph- November 21, 2009 at 9:05 pm

I'm gonna go talk more shit on my twitter? He just won me over.

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 9:05 pm

Que up another prelim re-run!

robthom- November 21, 2009 at 9:05 pm

Lol, Koscheck is such a prick.
:)
But for some reason I find him funnier than offensive.

Angry Monkey- November 21, 2009 at 9:05 pm

Yeah, that mystery eyepoke was funny - Josh forgot which eye he was supposed to cover. When he sees the replays he's gonna be a little embarrassed.

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 9:03 pm

@ rob, Yeah. Especially considering how (overall) new rumble is to MMA. It just seemed so reactionary, you know?
I still fucking hate Kosplay.

Angry Monkey- November 21, 2009 at 9:03 pm

Wow, didn't expect that from Koscheck.

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 9:02 pm

Lethal, no fucking shit. That is just shameful to play make-pretend like that. I honestly expected rumble to roll over Koscheck.
Meh, can't always call'em!

robthom- November 21, 2009 at 9:00 pm

@ dysphunktion, Yeah I take that back. Cant really call him dirty for just that.

robthom- November 21, 2009 at 8:58 pm

DAMMMN!!!
Eye for an eye?

Lethal Infection- November 21, 2009 at 8:55 pm

If a career in MMA doesn't work out, Koschek can always have an acting career based on the flop job he did in the 1st round... ridiculous.

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 8:54 pm

Rob, it seems more of an instinctual knee opposed to a deliberate dirty knee.

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 8:53 pm

Wow. Koscheck knows how to milk it.
What a piece of fucking shit.

robthom- November 21, 2009 at 8:52 pm

Hmmm, I suspected that Johnson was kinda over-rated. And I guess he's a dirty fighter too.

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 8:45 pm

Follow Lethals instructions for a good live stream.
MMA-TV streams -all- MMA-PPVs.

dysphunktion- November 21, 2009 at 8:38 pm

I'm curious as to why they are re-running the prelims.
Some sort of delay they needed to account for?

Johnson. Rd1. KO.

dresdin- November 21, 2009 at 8:30 pm

Foster............ Australian for underdog ass whooper

PurplePickle- November 21, 2009 at 8:16 pm

Fuck you Chad Dundas. I don't cotton much to change.

Trufleshufle13- November 21, 2009 at 8:06 pm

someone please post another link to a good stream. ATDHE just cut out

Koeikan- November 21, 2009 at 7:59 pm

Why do they insist on holding the fight-in-the-crowd camera shots until they look visibly uncomfortable?

Angry Monkey- November 21, 2009 at 7:58 pm

Killah B with the knees!

Koeikan- November 21, 2009 at 7:48 pm

Fuck yeah.

CRISP striking.

Terminator- November 21, 2009 at 7:47 pm

Mission Accomplished.

Terminator- November 21, 2009 at 7:42 pm

Minotouro has the best camp in the world in his corner. Lets hope he doesn't humiliate himself.

Koeikan- November 21, 2009 at 7:38 pm

War Lil' Nog!

Angry Monkey- November 21, 2009 at 7:33 pm

Nice job by Amir.

Koeikan- November 21, 2009 at 7:31 pm

Phil should hire that Marv Marinovich guy...

Koeikan- November 21, 2009 at 7:14 pm

...and Goldie just called Amir a nurse... I'm guessing he got Amir mixed up with Nover.

Lethal Infection- November 21, 2009 at 7:12 pm

For SopCast, you are looking for the 'Live Channel' named "MMA-TV (Mixed Martial Arts)" - The channel number is 24267. Good luck, and also I have hated Phil Baroni since he was in Toughman contests and I hope he loses miserably.

Terminator- November 21, 2009 at 7:12 pm

@ bunk,

go to myp2pforum.eu and you'll find plenty of links there under the live sports section

Bunk- November 21, 2009 at 7:08 pm

Find sopcast and then what?

One Two- November 21, 2009 at 7:07 pm

Awesome prelims i'm so fucking happy they actually started showing them. Whats up with the +400 underdog kicking the crap outta that balding dude? Somebody fucked up those odds.

rule of thumb put 50$ on the biggest underdog its MMA! (unless said underdog is fighting Fedor)

dresdin- November 21, 2009 at 7:07 pm

nice win by Foster wow. hey ben i hope i am not outta the family.
Foster just made me some loot
thanks

mt59801- November 21, 2009 at 7:07 pm

My picks:
Tito Ortiz by TKO
But I like both guys, but watching Tito when he was still a dominant UFC fighter is what started my MMA addiction

-Josh Koscheck vs. Anthony Johnson Who cares? but I'll go w/Johnson because I've never seen Koscheck win anything he's taken on short notice

Angry Monkey makes some valid points, I don't think he was hurt by the first kick until he realized he was down and it was an illegal strike... also, to watch streaming online, go find a program called SopCast.

Angry Monkey- November 21, 2009 at 7:01 pm

Brian Foster sucks - first he complains about a poke that never happened, then he reaches for the ground so that Larson can get another point taken, and finally he knees Larson in the balls before that "awesome slam" he did leading up to his victory. Mind you, Larson looked horrible compared to his WEC days, but Foster shouldn't even be proud of that performance.

robthom- November 21, 2009 at 6:57 pm

Wow, I'm impressed with foster. I got a good feeling about that guy.

comebackchuck- November 21, 2009 at 6:47 pm

somebody please hit me up with a link to view this puppy so I can see forrest cave in his pumpkin head.