Monday, January 20, 2014

Sherman Tanks!

For the love of Roger Staubach, what the hell was THAT last night after Seattle and it's really LOUD fans beat the Niners and got to go to the Super Bowl? Some dread locked Seattle lunatic decided to start screeching like he'd just delivered a pile driver to Baron Von Raschke (yeah I'm old) or something. With Erin Andrews playing the role of Mean Gene Okerlund, Seattle cornerback Richard Sherman went all heel on America right after the game. Yeah, he had delivered a pile driver right to San Francisco receiver Michael Crabtree and goddammit he was gonna tell you all about it. And now America hates him for it. Go Broncos and that nice boy Peyton "OmaHAAA" Manning.

Ok, I was taken aback by Sherman's boisterous hollering and flaring his nostrils and moving towards the camera. Yep, he scared me. I didn't know what the hell was up with him and immediately wanted him to take a legal Washington bong hit and chill the fuck out before he had a stroke or Erin Andrews ran screaming from him like she did from 50 Cent.

10 minutes later Richard Sherman sat down with Jimmy and Terry and Bobby and Billy and acted perfectly normal. In fact, Mr.Sherman (I will call him this forever now) sounded like he went to Stanford or someplace really smart. Oh yeah, he did. He graduated from Stanford, started working on a Masters Degree, works with charities and has a big mouth. Oh well. If that's the worse thing this guy ever does, goes batshit crazy less than 5 minutes after he'd basically won the biggest football game of his life, so be it.

Hey look, America hates this guy now. I get it. I really don't think I'd get along with Mister Sherman either nor do I think I'd get along with that cheating bush league coach Pete Carroll. Or get along with Tom Brady or Peyton Manning or Jim Harbaugh or 99% of most athletes and their whackjob coaches. But look deeper into WHY Mister Sherman looked like a raving maniac after that game and you may learn something.

Apparently Michael Crabtree may be a bit of an asshole. Seems Crabtree tried to fight with Mister Sherman at a fucking charity event last summer and that didn't sit well with Mr.Sherman, who vowed to "embarrass" Crabby at some point. Well, he did and once again, goddammit, he wanted you to know it.

The NCAA has a 10 minute "cooling off" period. This, I assume, is so incidents like that don't happen after games. A 10 minute cooling off period may have also helped prevent America from going all batshit crazy themselves and tweeting vile, racist shit at this football player.

So Mister Sherman has the benefit of the doubt with me now. He didn't call anybody a n***** or swear into a camera or do anything that doesn't go on during a football game every day. You know football, the past time of America. The sport we all love so much. The sport that makes us throw food at an injured player from the opposing team. The sport that makes drunken hooligans beat each other up because they have the audacity to be dressed in opposing teams colors. The sport where we all cheer when some guy gets coldcocked. The sport where grown people base thejir entire self esteem on what a 20 year old kid does every weekend in the fall.

But let a black guy with dreads scream and scream and let off steam in front of us all? Unforgiveable!

But even after all that, a game between Mister Sherman, Pete Carroll, that dick Golden Tate and those asshole LOUD Seattle fans and Denver, a team I hate with all my passion because it's located in Denver? I have to choke it out.......Go Bron.........oh shit, I can't do it. What time is the Puppy Bowl?