Mama Who Knows: An Essay from Alison Faulkner

Mama Who Knows: An Essay from Alison Faulkner

How did you learn to make taking care of yourself a priority as a mom?

“Real talk? I’ve smacked my head against a wall, ON PURPOSE, because my brain felt so crazy and out of control. At the same time, I just wanted the racing thoughts and anxiety to stop, and smacking my forehead felt like it might help. It didn’t. It gave me a headache. And what did I do after that? Call for help? Text my husband that I had reached a limit, or cut out some commitments? Nope. I reapplied the mascara I had cried off and committed to throwing another 700-person dance party. Luckily, I am no longer this woman. And you don’t have to be her either. At the time, I just wanted to please everyone and get a lot accomplished! I just wanted everyone to be happy. Even if I was making dents in my wall with my head.

“Call for help if you need it, break a commitment, read a book, or take a nap.”

But I have a question for you. When you are in a depressed, anxious or frantic state…who are you capable of thinking about? YOU! It’s all about YOU. So why is it that even the phrase “self-care” can make us feel guilty and selfish? I’ll tell you why. Because somewhere down the line, we decided that being women, caretakers, and nurturers meant we could only take care of OTHER people. Really what it means is we should be the VERY best at taking care of ourselves. Neglecting self-care usually results in those anxious, depressed, frantic, and overwhelmed states—the kind that lead to forehead smacking or sometimes something worse.

I hope with all my heart you’re not in as extreme a position as I was in. But do you know how I got there? By ignoring self-care in small ways for a long time and not realizing incorrect thought patterns. Start today. Call for help if you need it, break a commitment, read a book, or take a nap. The world needs you at your best, and you really do deserve not to be miserable. Oh, and only you can be you — and you’re already as awesome as you need to be. You can do this.

Alison Faulkner is a podcaster, speaker, brand strategist & motivator. You probably know her from her online branding courses or her inappropriate Instagram dancing, but we know her as a powerful force for helping others achieve their dreams—all while dancing in a bedazzled sports bra. Alison lives in Provo, UT with her husband Eric and her three children, Ginger, Rad and Fiona. Connect with Alison on Instagram @thealisonshow.