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Hugely Successful

Over the years I have run into a small number of hugely successful men. I have noticed that certain qualities of mind and action seem to characterize all of them:

Most important, they are willing to work very hard and very long hours. Most people-- sensibly, I think-- are unwilling to sacrifice their social and family life to the proposition that they are going to get ahead by out-working everyone else—for years on end-- but these people do.

They often have an idea that others think is unrealistic. Sometimes this is an idea for a product, sometimes a way of selling, or some other business innovation. In particular, they are willing to ignore the scoffing of experts in their field.

They are stubborn. Almost all of them have failed in some endeavor previously without getting discouraged.

There comes a moment, when they have to “bet the house” on their business. They are at a point where they have to grow their business by buying competitors or investing in new machinery. They are willing to take this risk. One man, who started by mowing lawns, had literally to mortgage his house in order to buy a piece of equipment, on the way to owning the biggest construction company in the area.

They continue growing their business past the point of having made all the money they could possibly spend during the course of their lifetime. In such a way, their work—which may involve accumulating more and more money—has little to do with the money itself. In a few cases, at least, they get to a point where they want to spend some of this money and cannot really find anything they want. They buy expensive cars they do not drive or a too-big house.

These men, who may or may not be educated, and may or may not seem unusually intelligent, are defined by their drive to succeed. I see them in psychotherapy at a time when they may be asking themselves a variation on “Is that all there is?” a question that sometimes bedevils successful people. This translates to another question, “What now?” which troubles all of us.(c) Fredric Neuman 2013 Follow Dr. Neuman's blog at fredricneumanmd.com/blog

I think that we all will be asking the same questions to ourselves one day. Suppose a man who has an ideal life. He got good grades in college, has a secured job, a lovely family, good friends and some retirements for saving. But one day, while sipping his coffee and watching news on the tv, he will be asking the same very question to himself. There will always be some moments, when we'll have to rediscover ourselves. It's a part of human nature. Along with time, our priorities changes.

I think that we all will be asking the same questions to ourselves one day. Suppose a man who has an ideal life. He got good grades in college, has a secured job, a lovely family, good friends and some retirements for saving. But one day, while sipping his coffee and watching news on the tv, he will be asking the same very question to himself. There will always be some moments, when we'll have to rediscover ourselves. It's a part of human nature. Along with time, our priorities changes.

Do you mean to tell me that this author has not met any successful business women? He only references the men that he has encountered. This article is insulting to the many hardworking and success women who work in the business world. I am disappointed that whoever edits and works at Psychology Today did not pick up on this. Shame on you.

Do you mean to tell me that this author has not met any successful business women? He only references the men that he has encountered. This article is insulting to the many hardworking and successful women who work in the business world. I am disappointed that whoever edits and works at Psychology Today did not pick up on this. Shame on you.

I was afraid I was going to have to explain this. I've known some very successful women, but I was referring to about a half-dozen hugely successful patients I have known; and they were all men. I'm sure that there are women out there just as successful, but I have not met them.

"I'm sure that there are women out there just as successful, but I have not met them."

Hmmm...Dr., I'll laughingly ask you if you think that it's because the truly, truly, successful individuals have no need for your services and so it stands to reason that most of those individuals are women? Or is this just another example of 'correlation does not imply causation'? :0)

In the first place, these were only a few men, and so there is a certain amount of chance involved. However, I go back a long way, including a long time when being a woman was a considerable disadvantage for an entrepreneur. There were fewer such women then than there are now. But a particular, considerable disadvantage such women had--and still have, I think--is less access to capital markets. As I commented on in the post, there was a time for most of these men that they had to have access to considerable amounts of money in order to expand. Without such access, truly huge success is very difficult.