With the help and guidance of a therapist you trust, what you need to do and what you need to remember is:
To nurture her, love her, accept her fully and bring her wholeheartedly into your life in the here and now. Acknowledge her as an important part of you as you bring her to the core of your worldly existence. Include her in your life as it is now, at times imagine her with you, laughing, playing, sleeping, crying. Imagine that you comfort her. Correct the horrible, negative and harmful messages she heard at the time and learnt directly or indirectly from her trauma. Then, with loving kindness let her be, accept that you can do no more than strive to live a spiritually rich and full life. Remember that spiritual growth is psychological growth, and you have grown if you have embraced and cared for your wounded vulnerable child self. A full life is where you take excellent care of yourself physically and emotionally and let go of all judgements about how you ‘should’ have been or what you ‘should’ have done. Such voices are not yours anyway, they are only introjected messages from the past and belong to other people or past experiences. Everything that has happened around you and to you has led to who you are today. For those of you who have been abused (in whatever way), remember that you are not an “abuse victim”, you are a complex and vital human being who has experienced very real suffering at the hands of another person or persons. You have known a darker, more sinister side of humanity that most children simply do not encounter. You have encountered fearful times, alone times, and despairing traumatic and painful times. But you are here today because you have within you a vital life force with a natural proclivity towards healing, goodness and regeneration. This force or energy or spirit (or whatever you want to name it) is stronger than any experience you have ever had. Also, remember that no one can take away your soul, your inner strength or your life force. Our minds and bodies are evolving and changing all the time, and each life experience has played a role in shaping the person who you have become and the value and kindness that you bring to the lives of others. So no matter what the nature of the suffering the little girl faced, ultimately you need to let her be heard and you need to accept her and her reality so that healing can begin.