Tag Archives: Kelly Kapowski

Three weeks ago sources revealed that Rashida Jones and Rob Lowe would be leaving Parks and Recreation midway through its upcoming sixth season. News about the impending departure of unlucky in love Ann Perkins and perfectionist City Manager Chris Traeger was expectedly met with some sadness and disappointment by devoted Parks and Rec fans. The cast of the NBC comedy has developed into one of the strongest ensembles on television, and, with the exit of The Office and 30 Rock last season, Parks and Rec is poised to be NBC’s number one workplace comedy, with the citizens of Pawnee providing the most colorful and entertaining array of recurring characters and bit parts this side of Greendale Community College. Losing two main cast members is a bit of surprise, a curious altering of a formula that seemed to be working so well. But here’s the thing: we actual welcome the change, as it will solve the show’s most glaring problem, a significant flaw that has existed since episode one: what do you do with a problem like Rashida?

Alright, guys, let’s try to do this before the entirety of the Matisyahu Tribe is completely decimated and all we have left is the memory of Angie’s boobs. We’ve been dark for the last few weeks, but all we missed discussing was the systematic destruction of Russell Swan and the Gang. But after tonight, when Denise and Malcolm will likely be forced into tribe cannibalism for survival and admission to the merge, things should get more interesting. So throw away your binders full of women and let’s get to it.

(Note: we want to thank Nate Silver from the Electoral Blog FiveThirtyEight for providing absolutely no scientific of statistical input for these predictions.)

Abi-Maria: Well, if the idea of the game was to out-crazy, out-make no sense, out-constantly touch your hair, then Abi-Maria would have this game completely locked up. Unfortunately for her, that is not how the game is played, and what she considers strategic, clever gameplay is actually loose cannon paranoia that verges on schizophrenia. Perhaps the reason that she keeps pulling at her tresses is that she’s trying to keep the voices out (or in). Certainly, considering the rapid disintegration of her alliance with RC Cola, her loyalty and judgment are suspect, and we think she’s ripe for a blind-side down the road. Odds of Winning: 45-1

Last week Justin Bieber, who has generally stayed on our good side (mostly by virtue of his chivalry), went ahead and tried to change that by wearing a Kelly Kapowski t-shirt, even though a) Saved by the Bell came and went before he was even born, b) she is OURS, and he should know that and thus he should STAY AWAY, and c) he’s Canadian.

Bieber, you can have Selena Gomez, or Miranda Cosgrove, or Vanessa Hudgens, or Taylor Momsen, or any of these girls who can’t rent a car. But anyone born pre-Top Gun is mine. You got that? Stay the FUCK away!

But we’re not worried. Tiffani can fight her own battles. Here’s how she responded:

Pleased and a little puzzled by today’s search term “”jenna fischer.”” Pleased because we think she’s just terrific, the modern-day Kelly Kapowski. And puzzled because the term appears with the quotation marks (hence the extra set above). We guess those out there in web-land just wanted to make sure they didn’t wind up with Jenna Elfman or Carrie Fischer. Fortunately, on this blog that’s very unlikely (well, much more likely now).

We’ve sung Fischer’s praises for years for her portrayal of the loveable, dorky Pam Beesley on The Office. And we’re thrilled that she’s gotten her first big movie role , as Owen Wilson’s understanding spouse in Hall Pass (unless you count her part in Walk Hard. Which we’re not). But tonight we’re going to highlight one of her lesser known early performances, one that significantly enhanced her position on the Judd Apatow Chart. We’re talking about her somewhat scandalous turn on Apatow’s Undeclared, a saucier side of Fischer we’re not used to seeing:

And while that was her most memorable appearance on the show it wasn’t her first, as she actually appears briefly in the pilot episode. Talk about starting off on the right foot.

One time about five years ago our friend texted us “Jenna Fischer on Undeclared. Ha.” To this day it’s still one of our most cherished texts.

We’re inclined to make this an all Saved by the Bell week of Gratuitous Search Term Bait of the Day, in celebration of finally finishing our (prolonged) SBTB marathon. We don’t know what Tuesday through Friday will hold, but we’re going to start off in that direction with today’s bait “nurse jennifer saved by the bell.”

If you’ve already read our Saved by the BellSeason 2 semi-live blog you’ll know that, despite our eternal affection for Kelly Kapowski, we’ve also always harbored a crush on Nurse Jennifer, as portrayed by Nancy Valen in the episode “From Nurse to Worse” (oddly enough, if we had to name five girls that we had a thing for as a young man, the list might include three ladies from Saved by the Bell: Thiessen, Valen and Rena Sofer, who played Zack’s love interest in Hawaiian Style). It was a very brief role, but Valen left an indelible impression on us, a lasting impact that stays with us today. Indeed, we remember Valen more for her turn at Bayside than her one season on Baywatch. And normally we hated any of Zack’s love interests other than Kelly, abhorring anyone who might get in the way of their eternal happiness. But this particular time we didn’t mind so much. We weren’t happy that Zack was risking his relationship with Kelly for Nurse Jennifer, but we certainly couldn’t blame him.

We mean, c’mon, what sophomore wouldn’t fall for this school nurse? (just another example of how everything was better at Bayside)