Parenthood: Kids reach milestones at their own pace

If you’re a parent, you know how babies and toddlers can change overnight. Soon after they’ve privately granted you their first smile, they’re beaming for every store clerk. Not long after that, they’re grinning mischievously as they rush to do the opposite of what you ask.

My twin daughters are turning 5 this summer, and they’ve been through plenty of transitions by now. I tried to enjoy those landmark moments of childhood as they happened, but I’ll be honest — amid the blur of work and household upkeep, I didn’t always truly appreciate their significance.

And in our family, those developmental milestones haven’t always come at the prescribed times for Prairie, who experienced some delays and was an exceptionally fearful toddler. It took nearly a year and a half longer for her to start walking than her sister, Kerrie. Likewise, Kerrie turned into a fish when they started swimming lessons at age 3, but Prairie was the one in class who started out reluctantly but obediently sitting at the edge of the pool, then inched back farther and farther in the hopes that the teacher would overlook the blond girl with the ponytail and pink tutu swimsuit (it never worked, by the way). Prairie was also terrified to ride on playground swings. She could tolerate it only if Mom or Dad sat down first, then she buried her head in a shoulder and clutched part of their shirt with each fist.

Prairie has held these fears for so long that I guess I got used to them. I figured she’d walk on her feet eventually, but in the meantime I sprayed dirt and grass stains during her butt-scooting phase, and I replaced worn-out pants during her knee-walking phase. But it amazes me how fast her long, slender legs can run, and how tirelessly she tackles long treks.

At swimming lessons this past winter, Prairie still cried a couple of times about not wanting to go into the water. But when we stayed at a resort for a week earlier this summer, she started pleading to go in the pool every moment that she wasn’t eating, drinking virgin strawberry daiquiris (which she fortunately did not discover till nearly the end of our trip) or sleeping. She even embraced a dip in a lake over the Fourth of July weekend, despite the floating seaweed and rocky bottom.

She’s not exactly “cured” of her fears, but after two full years of exposure to swimming lessons, she’s finally at the point where she can enjoy the water — where she’s asking to go in instead of begging to stay out.

The most telling example of the adage “slow and steady wins the race” came a few weeks ago when I took the girls to a playground. Prairie couldn’t wait to get to the swings — not because she wanted to sit in one and soar, but because she likes to bend over, put her stomach on the swing and push off with her feet. That’s her version of swinging, and that’s fine with me — whatever makes the playground fun for her. So, while Prairie did that, I pushed Kerrie on her swing for a while and then started to hint that we should move on. When Prairie then asked, “Will you push me?”, I thought she meant in her leaning-over pose, so I said, “Sure.”

But then she said she wanted to swing like Kerrie was. After saying, “Of course,” I casually lifted her onto the seat and started pushing her — heeding her warning, “Don’t go fast, Mommy” — but inside I was cheering and turning cartwheels in celebration, as if she’d just won the grand prize in a worldwide swinging contest.

Much of the time, parenthood seems like a nighttime sky filled with shooting stars — you barely have time to watch one phenomenon appear and vanish before the next one begins, and then the next one.

But once in a while, it’s like a mortgage: You pay on it month after month, and the principal balance barely seems to budge. Yet you simply trust that one day, the patience and perseverance will all pay off — and the feeling of victory will be priceless.