You might be a youth worker if, redneck style

We’ve all heard Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck if…” but let’s do it youth-worker-style. List your ideas in the comments below for, “You might be a youth worker if…” The people with the top 3 spots out of 10 as determined by me and my wife will each win 10 free music downloads from artists like Kutless, Hawk Nelson, Jeremy Camp, Thousand Foot Krutch, Falling Up and many new artists (provided by Tooth and Nail, BEC and Solid State Records). That’s a potential of three winners here! The contest ends Thursday, November 29, at 11:59 PM.

Here’s a couple I came up with to get you all started:

If you know what a blue flame is and think it’s fun, you might be a youth worker.

If you’ve heard these words from a Sr. Pastor, “Son, step into my office. We need to talk,” you might be a youth worker.

If you think jr. high lock-ins are a form of entertainment, you might be a youth worker.

If you ever tried to avoid the church cleaner after Friday Night Jello Night – then you must be at least on the youth team!

Paul

You might be a youth worker if…

You brag about how many marshmallows you can stuff in your mouth and still say “chubby bunny”.

Your younger friends wonder when you are going to grow up, and get a “real job”

You go to a restaurant with your in-laws and your wife kicks you under the table to keep you from shooting the paper straw cover.

Everyone assumes you are only a youth pastor until a senior pastor position comes available.

Amy

You might be a youth worker if people pull up to a red light and you have the bass cranked up singing to the top of your lungs in the church van.

GiGi

You might be a youth worker…

…if you spend more time at your church on Sunday than your Pastor does.
…if it makes you feel good about yourself that you have 300 friends on myspace…all of which are under 18.
…if you and your team laugh at youth worker training videos (How NOT to lead a small group by Laurie Polich is a HOOT!)
…if you have your local pizza place on speed dial, and you see the delivery guy more than you see your own parents.
…if your meeting is planned a day in advance, and you don’t know what to do with yourself the day of.
…if you get to mop the stairwell and hallway because you asked a youth to take the trash out, and he decided to drag it through the *new* parish hall (dripping and sticky).

… you ever declared, “Dude, that would be soooo hardcore!” in response to a senior pastor’s suggestion.

… you followed the previous statement with: “My peeps will be so crunk with that!”

… you only know the adults of the church as “_______’s mom” or “___________’s dad.”

And, I just have to throw in a serious note:

You might be a youth worker if you’ve ever received a phone call and the student on the other end says, “So. This life with Jesus you keep talking about. How can I do that?”

tom

You migth be youth worker if….You have a bumper sticker that says my other car is a church bus.
Peole continue to ask you what you want to be when you grow up.
People tell you you are doing a great job when they have no idea where you work or what you do.
Your news years eve parties include inflatables, kool-aid and halo

Matt

You might be a youth worker if…Spam is a part of every game you play.
you tell your students watch this before many bones are broken.
you clean, paint, and do all the fix up on the church.
halo, golf, and basketball are your top three assets.

…you have ever had a chinese fire drill on a freeway exit ramp and fully understand the complexities of a chinese fire drill.
…you can text message faster than the average 13 year old student.
…you have actually surfed on a mattress.
…you repeat the line over and over…”I can’t believe I get paid to do this!”

If you consider balcony jumping an extreme sport, and participate in it with your students you might be a youth worker.

If your senior pastor catches you playing football in the lobby by the glass entry doors and says to you, “You shouldn’t be doing that” while standing in front of the students and you wait until he walks away to resume the game becuase it’s 3rd and 1 and you are about score to win the game you might be a youth worker.

If your research includes (but is not limited to) video games, sporting events, movies and fast food restaurants you might be a youth worker.

If you have fantasized about drowning a student in the batpistry while doing a baptism you might be a youth worker.

If you have ever sat with a family through the night during a crisis you might be a youth worker.

If you have ever sat with a student while they tell they’re parents they are struggling with cutting (put your addiction here) you might be a youth worker.

If you have ever made $277.05 a month working for a church leading their youth ministry and the janitor made more than you, you might be a youth worker. (very true story here)

If you have ever had people come into your church while you are sitting in your office and they ask, “Is there a pastor in?” and when you reply, “Yes. I am actually our youth pastor” and they say, “Are you kidding me?” you might be a youth worker.

If you have ever caught students displaying some gratuitous PDA you might be a youth worker.

If you have ever been relied on to do all of the tech stuff in the church for every ministry then get asked why you aren’t doing your job by some congregates you might be a youth worker.

If you have ever laughed extremely hard and went into convulsions while watching someone administer a wedgie that rips the elastic band right off of the victim and you snorted your beverage through your nose while shouting, “Man that’s awesome!” at the same time, you might be a youth worker.

If you have ever played dodge ball in wal-mart with some of your students while on a ski retreat you might be a youth worker.

If you have ever been the victim of a TP job you might be a youth worker.

If your senior pastor asks, “how come you get all of the cool free stuff?” you might be a youth worker.

If your senior pastor walks by your office with a board member and you are playing Halo 3 and tells the board member, “He’s not playing video games…he’s doing market research you might not only have an awesome senior pastor but you might also be a youth worker.

your youth want to build a float, and you end up doing most if not all the work you might be a youth worker.

you can make life applications from watching dumb and dumber you might be a youth worker.

you have even considered the idea of going to a buffet and then to wal-mart to buy laxitives and see who can “hold it” the longest you might be a youth worker.

you just got a facebook, myspace, or text messaging and understand what “lol, bff, jk, and ttyl” all mean you are either 13 or your a youth worker.

people at church say that they are praying for you now more than ever you might be a youth worker.

you catch the youth playing hydro thunder on the churches projector in the sanctuary and secretly want to join in but know that they should turn it off before the pastor comes in you might be a youth worker.

you pack extra clothes for church trips because you know that you will get pranked at least once you might be a youth worker.

you pack extra items that your boys forget to bring (toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, towel, money) with them you might be a youth worker.

you can leave the youth room with your sides hurting from laughing so hard and not want to change anything about it you might be a youth worker.

your night begins at 10:00pm because that’s when they want to hang out you might be a youth worker.

you have talked to parents on the phone explaining where their kid is late on saturday night when they are hanging out at the church you might be a youth worker.

you go through “no shave november” with your youth boys and the majority of them could go through “no shave 2008” and still have nothing on their face you might be a youth worker.

you can’t wait for “no shave november” to be over with you might be a youth worker.

if these are things that have happened in the last 6 months you might be a youth worker.

you check to see how much hair is growing on the milk that expired sometime in the summer of 2006 in the church fridge, but you don’t throw it out because you think i can make this into a live lesson somehow.

Tim Carruthers

May I up the anty?

You know you are a youth pastor to rednecks when…
1.) You are known as the outsider due to your distinctive lack of plaid.
2.) Your cell phone lost it’s service 25 minutes down the road from the church.
3.) If you are single, the term “fresh blood” strikes absolute fear in your heart.
4.) You have to run around the back of the church to go to the “little boys tree.”
5.) You look up mid-lesson as someone begins to clip their toe-nails mid meeting and realize that this is the norm.

Your the one who made a fart sound after lights out just to laugh at the junior high boys with how they react.

Your biological kids begin acting like teenagers before their time because they are around them often.

You look at the continual amount of evening meetings that the Senior Pastor has to put in to keep the church running, arguing with committes about building repairs, the color of the new carpet, budgets and finances, who left the church over issues of utter insignificance etc., etc., etc., and thank dear sweet God he called you into youth ministry.

You tell your youth group that you are going to pown some newbs and they die laughing at you! And you laugh at yourself!

Your teens call you a nerd, a newb, and a dork and you know beyond a shadow of a doubt they mean that affectionately.

Your blood boils when you are confronted with an elder or maintainance person who always suspects that every new problem in the church building must have involved one of the teens.

You dislocated one of your teens’ shoulder giving him a bear hug. (True story)

The only reason you get up really early in the morning is when you are going off to wake another student up with a videocamera!

You think that church staff meetings are a necessary evil.

Children’s ministry scares the crap out of you.

You would love to beat up the Children’s Ministry guy because he always acts so happy.

You try to sneak words like “post-modern” and “emergent” into conversations to make yourself look like your on the cutting-edge!

If you are cut you would bleed coffee, with a slight amount of blood.

No matter how old you are, your car is still a beater and you like it like that ans so does the youth group.

…you’ve had a gotee longer than a year.
…you look forward to youth events as much as (and sometimes more than) the youth.
…you tell teens that you love them on a regular basis, and it’s not creepy.

Jenn Bukowinski

You might be a youth worker if… you’ve got your face in a toilet of mountain dew, bobbing for a baby ruth (but it’s okay, because everyone’s laughing with you, not at you).

Steve

…if on family vacation you ask your children where their permission slips are.

…if you take a group of jr. highers out into the woods on a retreat for some “challenging fun,” you end up in the hospital getting 37 stitches.

…if at church, every week, you’re told that you have the toughest job in God’s Kingdom, and all you can think in response is, “I can’t believe they pay people to do this. I’m the luckiest person in the world”.

…if your idea of a “great week” is spent on a youth mission trip or at a church camp.

…if you see a kid sitting off by themselves and your heart feels a tug and you go sit and talk with them all night if need be.

If you’re single and over 23 and a majority if not all of the opposite sex phone numbers in your cell phone are under 18 you might be a youth worker

You look forward to the days kids have off from school you might be a youth worker

You hate the color purple because it reminds you of PDA you might be a youth worker

You might be a youth worker if you actually enjoy the pranks that have been pulled on you

Tyrone

You might be a Youth Worker if you are recognised by people you have never met, and the nod knowingly…

Matt Crossman

You might be a youth worker if…

Your wardrobe consists of nothing but T-shirts from all the retreats, mission trips, CIYs, and youth events you’ve been to.

You make fun of all the cheesy, obnoxious, crap in a Christian book store every time you walk in, but you still shop there.

Your Sr. Minister tells you that you aren’t doing your job, but has never once been to a youth group meeting or event.

You’ve had to explain to the elders why there is a hole in the wall…more than once…twice…four times (true story)

You’ve spent more than 20 minutes of your work day filling out an online; survey, quiz, questionare, or “you might be a youth worker if…” contest, and justified it as work because it’s “what teenagers would do.”

This was a great idea and lot of fun. Thanks Tim.

Travis Jackson

You might be a youth worker if you treat throwing water balloons at teens from a golf cart like a covert operation.

You might be a youth worker if teenagers don’t frighten you…much.

Chris

You might be a youth worker if you know exactly how much duct tape it takes to hold a junior high youth to a concrete wall.

Chris

You might be a youth worker if the best Christmas gift you have received is a remote controled fart machine!

ryan

you might be a youth worker

if your “real” job interferes with your youth job.

you have taken a nap in the youth room because the couch in there is more comfortable than the yours at home, and you had to be back for a meeting and just don’t see the point of going home for a hour or two. (true)

if you consider all the students to be like one of your kids and treat them like they are all part of your family if not better.

you are sure that you could probably forge almost all the parents signatures on permission slips.

you have been on a mission trip somewhere and the 8 kids show up on a single 4-wheeler with two dogs and pet racoon and think to yourself i can’t believe that they pay me for this. (i have pics of all these)

If you get blamed for the sheep poop staining the carpet but it’s really the drama’s fault and you had nothing to do with it, you might be a youth worker.

If anytime someone comes into the office and asks if they’re ministry can have extra money and your SP shouts, really loud so you can hear, “Of course you can. We’ll take it out of the youth budget!” you might be a youth worker.

If you have the ER on speed dial you might be a youth worker.

If the guys at the glass replacement store in town know you by name and why you’re there when you first walk through the door you might be a youth worker.

If the furniture in your apartment is the stuff that the church was going to throw away from the youth room you might be a youth worker. (I even payed for one they were getting rid of)

If you have ever taken in a kid (whose parents have left town and left him behind) to disciple and see that he gets through the last 3 years of high school and never talks to his parents anymore becuase they don’t want to talk to him you might be a youth worker. (there is a GREAT story of redemption with this one that is absolutely true)

If you count the dents, scratches and cracked windows on the church van as “memories to remember this trip by” you might be a youth worker.

If you have ever thrown a hot tub party in the baptistery you might be a youth worker.

If you have ever played paint ball in the church gym and when confronted about it you said it was an abstract painting you might be a youth worker.

If you have ever had to explain to parents why you were 3 hours late returning home from an event because you “left” one of the students behind and had to go back and get them you might be a youth worker.

If you have ever found yourself stranded in an unknown town with a van (or multiple vans) full of kids becuase of a mechanical breakdown you might be a youth worker.

If you have ever been skiing/ snowboarding 4 hours from home and you get paged to the first aid room and you have to go to the ER becuase one of the girls from your youth group has a concussion you might be a youth worker. (thankfully her mom was on the trip as well)

If you have ever taken a new kid on an outing and couldn’t keep up with them, didn’t know anything about them, you might be a youth worker.

If you have a sore throat after every youth meeting, you might be a youth worker.

If you’re over 40 and still trying to be cool..you might be a youth worker.

If when God first called you to the ministry, you fought it and fought it, you might be a youth worker.

If you have more fun in the flour sack race than your youth, you might be a youth worker.

If you were squashed between five youth that were taped to you, you might be a youth worker.

If you are constantly looking for new and interesting games to play, you might be a youth worker.

Love this, thanks!

Lucas

If the majority of your friends are under 18 and you are over 23

If the kids he youth group invite you to do non-church-related things with them and their friends

If you’ve ever been sad because you had to call the police on someone… again

If you’ve ever had to call the police because you knew kids in multiple gangs who were going to have a rumble

If you’ve ever hoped that tonight the specfic youth would be kicked out later than usual

If you know your youth group members birthdays, but not many members of your biological family

If you’ve ever felt like your only skill was loving kids, but realized that it was the only requirement for working with them

If you’ve ever been asked to get a girl (or guy)’s phone number for/from someone who was ten years younger than you

If you talk to kids that don’t know you, and somewhere along the line tell them that they shouldn’t really talk to strangers

If you give unsolicited moral advice to teens who you don’t know, when you meet them in public

If you’ve ever had to convince someone that it wasn’t playing when you were playing video games with your youth for the last three hours

If you know your limit on how long you can play video games straight until your eyes hurt really bad

If the kids in your youth group tell you ever time they have a day off of school, just in case you have that day off from work and can hang with them

If every story you tell at “work” has the phrase “one of the kids in the youth group” in it

You have enough equipment in your trunk to play more than two large group games at a moment’s notice

You go to camp and embarrass your kids because you are twice as excited about EVERYTHING as they are

You own multiples of many types of sports equipment (bicycles, baseball bats, baseball gloves, hockey sticks, etc.) because some of the kids might not have one

Lucas

If your Sunday School class starts later than the others because if it started on time, nobody would be there

If you have been to all the local high schools and/or middle schools within the last year

If you get paid for ten hours of work per week, but do forty

If you call up your youth group when someone invites you to a movie, so you can turn it into a youth event

If you’ve ever have told a kid that you couldn’t wrestle them because they weren’t 18 yet, but told them that when they turn 18, you will

If you’ve wrestled 18 year olds and you’re more than 5 years older than them

If people estimate your age to be 5 or more years less than you are

If you are single, but have more than two beds in your house, for lock-ins

If you still refer to church as “big people church” or “adult church” to differentiate from youth group

If you don’t sound weird when you use street slang in a sermon

If you’ve ever explained street slang when you’ve used it in a sermon in “adult church”

If you’ve ever had to defend a kid’s actions to his parents and the parent’s s to a kid

If you’ve ever had a youth lesson that you hoped that none of the adults would come in on, because you might get in trouble for the need-to-talk-about subject material

If your youth kids ask you birds-and-bees questions that they’re embarassed to ask their parents about

If you feel comfortable talking about birds-and-bees things (at least to the point that you don’t blush, so the kids won’t crack up laughing)

If you crack up laughing when middle schoolers make jokes, but feel bad because you can’t repeat them at work

If slapstick comedy is a form of high art

If you read the post about no-shave-november and thought it might be a good idea

If you describe your job in five different ways, depending on who asks

If you’ve ever gotten in trouble for running in the sanctuary

If your main reason for wanting a significant other is to reach out to the opposite gender in the youth group

If everyone in the youth group tries to get you hooked up with every person of the opposite sex who’s about your age

If you are excited about and dread youth group simultaneously

If you borrow music, video games, and/or movies from kids in your youth group

If you’ve ever shared your deodorant and not felt weird about it, or brought an extra just in case someone else might need it

Lucas

Aw man, all this posting, and I just found out that it was over ten hours ago… *sigh* I could have SLEPT another hour! *grins*

Chris

You carry a first aid kit at all times that contains not only band aids and first aid stuff, but extra deoderant, tooth paste and tooth brushes, tampons and maxi pads, saline solution, a deck of cards and peanut butter crackers, you might be a youth worker!

WOW!! With almost 300 great ideas for “You might be a youth worker if,” you have no idea how extremely difficult it is to narrow the results down to 10! Besides consulting my wife, I took the liberty to get input from one of my youth workers from church, as well, to help narrow down all your awesome ideas. Here’s what we came up with:

Top 10: “You might be a youth worker if”

10. If you go to a restaurant with your in-laws and your wife kicks you under the table to keep you from shooting the paper straw cover. [Paul]

9. If you’ve ever declared, “Dude, that would be sooooo hardcore!” in response to a senior pastor’s suggestion. [Tammie]

8. If people pull up to a red light and find you with the bass cranked up singing at the top of your lungs in the church van. [Amy]

7. If you have ever considered the idea of going to a buffet and then to Wal-mart to buy laxatives and see who can “hold it” the longest, you might be a youth worker. [Ryan]

6. If you check to see how much hair is growing on the milk that expired in 2006 in the church frig, but you don’t throw it out because you think you can turn it into a lesson somehow. [Ryan]

5. If your senior pastor catches you playing football in the lobby by the glass entry doors and says to you, “You shouldn’t be doing that” while standing in front of the students and you wait until he walks away to resume the game because it’s 3rd and 1 and you’re about to score to win the game. [Chris]

4. If you’ve ever had to punish someone for something that deep down you thought was the funniest thing you’ve ever seen. [Chad]

3. If you can make life applications from watching Dumb and Dumber, you might be a youth worker. [Ryan]

2. If you have ever said to yourself, “I can’t believe I get paid to do this!” and “They don’t pay me enough for this” all in the same night. [Brian]

1. If you get to heaven and it takes six angels to carry around you crown. [Brian]

The top three winners are Brian, Ryan and Chad! Thanks to everyone who participated, though. This was such a blast! I can’t wait for the next youth worker humor list we do. :)

Rebecca Ross

You might be a youth worker if you still think rolling peoples house is fun.

You might be a youth worker if you carry around panty hose, tennis balls, and other weird things in your car at all times.

You might be a youth worker if you are always getting blamed for the sound equpiment being messed up.

Paul Irminger

If you are over 25 years old and ranked over 40 in halo 3, you might be a youth worker.

If an average work day includes, starbucks, video games, forums, and using at least 3 objects for purposes they were not created for, you might be a youth worker.

Rusty

You might be a youth pastor… if you are covered in shaving cream and armed with a full can and a water gun and one of your youth points to you when asked by the camp director where their youth pastor is.

Alana

…if you’ve ever been skinny dipping with a group of minors and wondered why everyone thought it was a bad idea?!

when you take the youths to their Youth Conventions, every year and you don’t get any sleep those 3 days straight in the Motel, you are a youth pastor.

when the Youth Conventions dates always lands on your anniversary, and there is nobody else to take your place, you are a youth pastor. (one year, the youths surprised my husband and I with a cake and candle light setting in the motel room)

when your kids complain that on family night, why are all the youths hanging out with us? you are a youth pastor..

when your home is always filled with kids, and you only have 3, you are a youth pastor.

when one of your youths is having family problems, and you take him/her home for the weeknd, you are a youth pastor.

when you decided to have a lock in at the church and you don’t get any sleep, you are a youth pastor.

when its 1:00 a.m. and you get a call about a sad inicident, you are a youth pastor.

when the parents complain, “we didn’t do that when we were their age!” you are a youth pastor.

when you listen to christian reagaee, hip hop, alternative, rap etc, and you like it, you are a youth pastor.

If your idea of a balanced meal is something from each of the four major food groups of stodge, burgers, chips and stodge.

If you go into computer games stores and know the catalogues better than the dudes who work there.

If you can set up rock band / guitar hero, on any platform, in less than 5 minutes.

If people have ever asked you “When are we going to see the young people in the service on Sundays” and you haven’t told them the absolutely true answer that you’re thinking.

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Stop whining, the glass fell out the way.” (ie it didn’t fall into the building for once.)

If you’ve ever wished mutilation, plague and death upon the person who stores things in your cupboards.

If parents have ever said to you, “He’s too young for ‘the talk'” when you know that the last three girls he’s had sex with might have other opinions.

If you have had complaints about the noise from church neighbours.

If you have had complaints about the noise from church neighbours’ neighbours.

If you no longer read books, or watch films without an eye to their illustrative quality for talks you have to give.

If you have meetings scheduled with adults who don’t show.

If your office is called “the black hole”.

If you rally to the cry of “I thought you were bringing the …”

If you are really really careful to check for every scratch and dent when you hire a minibus, but hope the hire people won’t be when you take it back.

If you are the world’s leading authority on IT, websites, projectors, drama, art, design, lighting, driving, counseling, texting, relationships, speaking, the addresses and phonenumbers of the entire congregation, and your specialist mastermind subject is “the inner workings of the women’s guild”.

Erin

You might be a youth worker/pastor if….

you find the fellowship time food leftovers are marked “youth group.”

someone on the CE committee explained you didn’t need a computer because you use your personal computer from home.

you can write skits in less than 10 minutes.

the left over Christmas decorations are “donated” to the youth group.

you are always in the back to the line at the fellowship dinner because the “youth are in-charge,” putting on the program or are just in the habit!

spend your last $20 buying candy at the dollar store to have enough candy for the bible trivia winners.

You divulge your greatest hiding spot ever to the new kid whose parents are late picking them up.

you get told by many adults on the same day that they wish they were teens again to be in the youth group!

you are reading all of the posts above and already making the list your are going to post in your head and noting the ones not to duplicate. (Screaming “I can’t believe I get paid to do this”)

Jeremy

You might be a youth worker if . . . you’ve snickered at the sign on the church’s front door that reads “please remove rubbers” and then wondered what they really meant.
. . . you sold your car to buy a minivan just so you can hold more youth in it.
. . . when someone asks how many kids you have you respond with sixty-two and then show them pictures of each one.
. . . you actually remember sixty-two kids names and something about each one, even when you can’t remember anything else to save your soul.
. . . you remember with fondness the lake outing when the water was freezing and you gave and received a concussion cracking heads with another youth who was taken to hospital for stitches to the head, but it was worth it cause some older church people got to know and build relationships with the youth.

You might be a youth worker if you can leave the youth room with your sides hurting from laughing so hard and not want to change anything about it you might be a youth worker.

Marcos

You might be a Youth worker if…

You think its a great idea to give kids a massive sugar rush every Sunday School meeting, because you know that half of them would fall asleep during class without it.

Its 3:00am and your at a lock-in and your wondering how can these kids possibly still be awake and just waiting for it to be 6:00am so that you can get your revenge and wake them all up by ringing the Sunday School bell.

This is a really old thread, but I couldn't resist because I just did it: You might be a youth worker if you have ever emailed your pastor with an idea for a youth event and began the email, "Before you say 'no'…"

-If you've ever had to talk Mall Security out of calling the cops so that a new student could still go on a youth retreat instead of to jail.
-If you've ever had a kid get a concusion because his arms and legs were taped together and he couldn't cusion his own fall.
-If you ever forced sugar into a student at 3am to get them out of diabetic shock at camp.
-If you've ever warned every neighbor within 300yards of your church that you're holding an event this weekend.

-If you ever have a student introduce you to a friends as, "See this scar right here (pointing to head) this is the guys I was telling had a 'brilliant idea' about……
-If you've ever had students skip school to visit you but thought it was OK because they brought you Taco Bell.
-If you've ever yelled, cried, laughed, sang, snorted, prayed, and talked to yourself in the course of 1 hour
-If you've ever purches 600" of bungee chord, a parachute harness, and a set of oversized eyebolts in one trip
-If you've ever had enough of it & almost quit but couldn't think of a single thing you'd rather do…you might be a youth pastor.

michael

absolutely awesome

Stefanie

You might be a youth worker if the girl in the bunk next to you gets upset when you tell her to get off her phone at midnight b/c you're trying to sleep and she apologizes for her attitude the next day, when she finds out you're actually an adult.

You might be a youth pastor if you are the only one who knows exactly how many seat belts in the church van don't work.

You might be a youth pastor if you know how to lock the benches in the church van back into place after one flys up mid-turn (with a teen still sitting on it).

You might be a youth pastor if the highlight of your Wednesday night is getting a punk thirteen year old to comment on something spiritual.

You might be a youth pastor in college when you have more homework than your teens.

You might be a youth pastor if the coolest room in the church is where you gather your students every week to play crazy games and have intense spiritual discussions.

Walked into the youth room to find that the high school students were SaranWrapping the Youth Pastor to a chair and instead of helping you grab your camera so you can video tape it and post it on YouTube and/or Facebook. (completely true story!)

You've had to tell the Youth Pastor that you were getting pretty good at accompanying students to strange ER rooms during trips/retreats. (sprained ankle on the mission trip, 12 stitches on the Winter Retreat)

You've watched in horror/disgust/amazed amusement as a grocery bag full of student vomit was thrown out the window of the van you were driving on the highway, almost hitting the windshield of a passing Semi. This has been immortalized as the day a fellow volunteer "chucked the chuck."

You had to pull your car over because you were laughing to hard when you learned that a new student thought you were 16 (I'm 33) and she freaked out when you told her you were older than the YP (he's 28) because she thought he was 40.

You've ever had the new YP look at you like you just grew a third eyeball when you informed him that the Youth owns 3 toilets in the basement that have been plugged with spray foam and never used for their original intended purpose because the former youth pastor filled them with lemonade so the students could bob for babyruths, and they also served as punchbowls during the ministry fair.

You've ever spent three hours scooping the filling out of twinkies and replacing it with sardines, okra, peppercorns, relish, and about 20 other random ingredients, and fail to notice the smell.

I have been browsing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be much more useful than ever before.

Kreed1193

These are so funny! It’s such a blessing to be in youth ministry, I can’t thank God enough for my job.

You might be a youth worker if…

On the first trip you were in charge of, one of the chaperones gets stopped by the police while working on a mission project, and the senior pastor only wants to know “did you get a picture?” (You might also have a pretty chill senior pastor).

Parents think that because you’re only 19, you couldn’t possibly know how to do your job (no matter how many times you prove them wrong).

You’ve ever had to spackle after a lock-in.

You consider returning from a trip with only a spraine ankle a “success.”

Your rear-view mirror is trained on the backseat of the church van so you can keep an eye on any troublemakers.

You are more comfortable driving a fifteen passenger van than you are your own vehicle.

You wake up to a text message at 1:30am, from a kid wanting to know what time to be at an event that is two weeks from now.

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