ROSS: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went
through the same thing. And you know what I did?

MONICA: Huh?

ROSS: I.....got.....dressed. Really, really quickly. Okay, okay. (Rachel
starts to follow Monica into her room, but Ross stops her and sends her
back to her room.) There we go, there we go.

CHANDLER: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there.
I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand
a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get
mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings
some dip onto Phoebe's dress)

MONICA: Yes. Well I got his machine and I left a message. But it's okay,
it's okay, it's okay, because you know it was like a casual, breezy message.
It was breezy! Oh God, what if it wasn't breezy?

PHOEBE: Well, how could it not be breezy, no, 'cause, you're, you're in
such a breezy place.

MONICA: Here, I got it. I'll will play my message for you guys, and you
can tell me if it's breezy enough.

JOEY: Monica, how are you gonna do that?

MONICA: I know the code to his answering machine.

ROSS: Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... Okay, you're dialing,
you are dialing.

(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show
down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)

RICHARD: (on machine) "Hi, this is Richard. Please, leave a message
at the tone."

MACHINE: "You have two new messages."

JOEY: Wow, what a cool job. (in a machine voice) 'You have two new messages.'
'Please, pass the pie.'

MONICA: (on machine) "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause
I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what.
So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy."

PHOEBE: Rachel, didn't have anything that I liked, so, but she had this
Christmas ribbon, and I thought, 'All right, fine I'll be political.'

CHANDLER: What are you supporting?

PHOEBE: Duh!! Christmas!

ROSS: Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve
minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see,
the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch)
What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!

RACHEL: (entering from her room) Okay, Pheebs, quick, what shoes should
I wear? The black or the purple?

ROSS: Just, just, just pick one!

PHOEBE: Okay, okay, okay, the black. But, oh, do you have black, with the
little strappys?

RACHEL: Yeahh, but, but those really go better with pants. Maybe I should
wear pants?

ROSS: Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you
go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me,
but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet,
okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your
ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.

RACHEL: But I...

ROSS: No, no, no just do it. Go in there and pick something out so we can
go.

RACHEL: All right.

ROSS: Thank you!

MONICA: (entering from her room) Okay. I gotta call Michelle. I gotta see
if that was her voice or not. I'm sorry, I just have to.

ROSS: It was, it was her voice.

CHANDLER: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.

MICHELLE: Hola! Hello. Hello?

MONICA: Okay. That was her right?

PHOEBE: Definitely.

MONICA: See there you go. Woo! We're out of the woods. Okay, I'll get dressed
now.

ROSS: Yay!

(phone rings)

PHOEBE: I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens)
Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's
Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.

MONICA: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number
by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple.
I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....

CHANDLER: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants.
But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around
his waist. I mean, what is that about?

MONICA: (on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message.
I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would
really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean,
you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs
up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.

ROSS: No, no, no, no. Tick, tick, tick, tick.

MONICA: Okay, fine. (runs to her room)

CHANDLER: They got a phone in there, right?

PHOEBE: Okay, we're on it. We're on it.

(Rachel comes out from her room wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt)

ROSS: Um. I know it says black tie optional, but, um this may be pushing
it a little, um.

RACHEL: I'm not gonna gooo.

ROSS: You're not going to go.

RACHEL: No, I think I'm gonna catch up on my correspondence.

ROSS: How, how, um how can you not be going?

RACHEL: I'm not gonna gooo, so I think that will accomplish the not going.

ROSS: Um, you know, just out of curiosity...

RACHEL: Well, ever since I was humiliated and yelled at in front of my
friends, I'm just, I don't know, not in a museum benefitty kind of mood.

ROSS: Right. Right, okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled.

RACHEL: It's fine.

ROSS: No, but, your-your mad.

RACHEL: I'm not mad.

ROSS: No.

RACHEL: I'm just not going.

ROSS: Your not going.

RACHEL: Right.

ROSS: Okay. You know that I-I have to go.

RACHEL: Um, hum.

ROSS: Right. So is it gonna be like 'I'm abandoning you while your upset.'

RACHEL: No.

ROSS: No, because your not upset.

RACHEL: Right.

ROSS: About the yelling.

RACHEL: Right, and the humiliating.

ROSS: Oh, well of course, the humiliating. So, so wee, we're okay.

RACHEL: Um, hum.

ROSS: We're good.

RACHEL: Right.

ROSS: Okay. Honey?

RACHEL: Yes, Ross. (turns toward him)

ROSS: I love you. (goes to kiss her and she turns away.)

PHOEBE: (yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into
the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.

CHANDLER: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!

JOEY: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?
Maybe if I wasn't going commando...

CHANDLER: Oooo-ooh!

JOEY: Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not
do any, I don't know, lunges. (starts doing lunges)

ROSS: Okay, okay. Enough, enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this.
Okay. I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can come to the
party!

CHANDLER: Jeez, what a baby.

JOEY: Yeah, Ross, way to ruin it. I was just going to get dressed.

ROSS: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting
dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach,
I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want
you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you
how much, how much I want you to be there.