Britain denies home advantage as ‘bottling it’ becomes Olympic sport

Lord Sebastian Coe has today denied that the creation of the new Olympic discipline of ‘bottling it’ was done so with the express purpose of giving the host nation a medal chance.

‘Just because our nation boasts an illustrious history of choking, this should not be interpreted as giving Team GB the only chance of getting their hands on a medal outside of polishing them for the Russians,’ said Lord Coe.

Lord Coe announced that Tim Henman has agreed to captain the British team, which will also feature Rory McIlory, Andy Murray, Frank Lampard and Ronnie O’Sullivan, with Fabio Capello confirmed as the team coach.

‘The finer details of the sport have yet to be finalised, but will essentially involve over-paid sportsmen and women pissing themselves at the final hurdle,’ explained Lord Coe. ‘And with Paula Radcliffe on the team, that gold is as good as ours.’