I was in Dancing with the Stars and I had to dance with Shaq. He was much bigger in my dream than in real life. We did our routine and it was terrible! We scored an 8 out of 25. It was time to announce the winner and I knew we wouldn't win because we did so terribly. Then I found out that we were a trio and he already danced with one of my (male) coworkers and they scored a 25/25. I knew we had a chance of winning, but I didn't want to, with my embarrassing 8/25. Well, we won! I was embarrassed to go up to claim the prize, but I did. Then the three of us were at the after party and someone took a picture of us. Then Shaq gave me his shirt that he wore for the dance. It was a giant black t-shirt. I put it on even though it was kind of smelly and went outside. I was invincible in this t-shirt. It turned red. I walked down a local street that isn't the nicest street around and I was followed by someone. I got scared and ran into a business. Inside were three Jamaican drug lords hanging out on a couch. It was scary. That's all I remember. Pretty sure the drug Lard thing was because we were watching Breaking Bad, though not sure why they were Jamaican.

the other night i dreamed that i was walking along outside nursing ginger and saw a cute baby raccoon, so i knelt down to look at it and make cute animal squee noises and then backed off because, after all, it might be a Very Diseased Animal, and I didn't care to die from raccoon germs, so I walked away, but then the raccoon kept following me and soon I realised this was a dreadful stalker raccoon of Evil Intent, and the dream turned into a terrifying series of corridors and cat-and-mouse games with this raccoon.

Nothing super exciting last night, except the University police did not want to take my call seriously about the guy running around with a gun. And 911 didn't want to answer the phone. And someone made giant looms and weaved something really big. Can't remember exactly what, but it was about as wide as a typical family swimming pool.

Last night there was a big party at my dad's house and my boss came and brought his two children. Boss decided he wanted to go to sleep, so I had to take care of his children, they asked for Diet Mountain Dew so I spent lots of time wandering around asking people if they knew where I could find some. Eventually the children turned into kittens, so I fed them the Mountain Dew I acquired with a cup and a straw and the kittens sucked it through the straw. I put them in an empty bedroom for safe keeping. During writing this I forgot the rest of the dream, gah!

_________________Did you notice the slight feeling of panic at the words "Chicken Basin Street"? Like someone was walking over your grave? Try not to remember. We must never remember. - mumblesIs this about devilberries and nazifruit again? - footface

So I wanted my interior house walls to have some painted designs, like abstract black on white borders near the tops of the walls. So I hired a company to paint them for me. They started in the kitchen. Instead of painting black on white abstract designs, they started painting pictures of kittens in color! And not just as a border near the ceiling, but over an entire wall in my kitchen. I was upset and asked them to erase it. They erased it really quickly, and you could kind of see that the kittens were moving like in Harry Potter paintings. It was sad to see the kittens get erased because they were so cute, but my kitchen looked terrible. Also, for some reason they added these 3-D designs on the kitchen cabinets that were various colors of sparkly high heeled shoes. I hated them and was upset that they would put something so "girly" in my kitchen, like because I was female, I had to wear high heeled shoes and what kind of message does that send. Anyway, not hiring that company again.

There is an outlet high up on the wall that transmit a low level of electricity. We put our baby's little hands in there and he snuggles up against the wall to fall asleep. That's how all babies go to sleep, they kind of defy gravity like spiderman. Then once they are in a deep sleep, you can transfer them to the pack and play for the night. It works really well and my baby looked pretty cute snuggled up against the wall with his little hands in the outlet, although I was a little nervous about the electricity. But what can I say, that's just how it is done. And babies don't cry either.

When I dream of babies, they are usually sleeping on a shelf in a bookcase, next to some books. Then they wake up and at some point, I think to myself in the dream "I guess that baby is like a plant...it needs food sometimes". Mostly though, I forget where I put the baby. Good thing I don't have any!

I had a dream last week that I had a new job working with a group of people I had never met before. We were all working together on a specific project, but I don't remember what it was. I do remember that the rest of the people had all worked with each other for a long time, and I was the odd one out. We were all sitting on a fire escape outside of the building we were supposed to work in. One of the men said to the woman sitting next to me, "Do you remember the swarf party?" (He pronounce it like "sworf"). The woman said, "Yes! Of course!" and started laughing like it was the funniest thing. I was feeling a bit left out, so I asked, "What's a swarf party?" and the woman said, "It was supposed to be a scarf party, but we were a bit drunk when we wrote up the invitations. We accidentally asked everyone to bring their "swarves". People showed up with the oddest things!" We all started laughing, and I laughed so hard that I woke myself up. I kept saying "Swarf party! Bring your swarves!" and cracking up.

The swarf party is hilarious. Also, love babies sleeping on bookcases like plants.

Anyway, my dream last night was that President Obama was a man and a woman, like a topsy turvy doll. The woman Obama was not black, nor was she white. I think she might have been Indian or Hispanic, though it is not really clear.

My husband and I were at the zoo. My sister was there too, but separately. A friend of mine was rounding up all the Hispanic people at the zoo for a group picture. We had musical instruments when we gathered for the picture. My husband had a little tambourine in a white box. Someone, I think my mom maybe, took the picture of us. We were standing in a big dirt field in the petting zoo. There were some picnic benches too. There were about 40 of us in the picture, not counting the goats. The photo was kind of artsy, like a cast photo for a TV show, but with sepia tones.

I stopped taking my heart medication because I couldn't handle the freaky weird dreams I was having as a side effect....cardiologist wasn't very hip to my excuse; however, the vegan diet corrected my 20,000 heart arrhythmia misbeats per day down to a tolerable 3,000 so everybody is happy. I was having dreams that were like Atom Egoyan/William Burroughs/Lewis Carrol/PeeWee's Funhouse crazy every night!!!! It was entertaining but exhausting.

I think my brain threw up last night. I dreamed that I lived with my parent(s?) and Willem Dafoe, who was apparently the world's creepiest not related uncle. Like, creepy creepy. And he got custody of me (I was a kid) somehow. Most of the dream was Willem Dafoe grinning, no lie.

Then it switched over to me talking to Japanese people who were talking about this new chef in town who was daring and used ingredients like chili, oranges, and tuna.

Well, it's disturbing, but I can't be ashamed of a dream....anyway, I dreamt last night that my husband was a pedophile. Not sure why, because, well, he's not one! Anyways, also on a happier note, and also last night I dreamed about swimming, and my best friend from grade school was there, something to do with her dad, also. That was fun!

Well, it's disturbing, but I can't be ashamed of a dream....anyway, I dreamt last night that my husband was a pedophile. Not sure why, because, well, he's not one! Anyways, also on a happier note, and also last night I dreamed about swimming, and my best friend from grade school was there, something to do with her dad, also. That was fun!

I hate it when I dream that horrible things happen - then wake up and you are relieved when you figure out it was a dream, but still freaked out.

I was just at my grandfather's house, and he started talking about dream and nightmares (apparently if he eats reese's peanut butter cups, he will have horrible nightmares!) and he has a really weird dream experience when he was younger. My grandfather worked in construction in real life, and he dreamt that he saw his deceased father standing on top of a building he was working on. His father said, "Come with me, you have to come with me." My grandfather said "No, I don't want to go with you. I'm only 42. I'm not ready." His father said, "I love you. I am still your father. Come with me," and my grandfather said, "No! I'm only 42! I'm not ready. I won't go with you!" and then he woke up. At the exact same time, my grandmother was having a dream that she was driving her car and there were two of her deceased relatives in the backseat. They told her that my grandfather was falling off a building and he was going to die. The next day, my grandfather's sister called and asked if my grandfather was okay, because she had dreamt that she had received a package in the mail and it contained my grandfather's personal effects because he had died. Nothing did happen to my grandfather that day, and my aunt is convinced that it's because he refused to go with his dad, and that if he had said "okay, I'll go with you," he would have died. I don't know about that, but it's super spooky that those 3 dreams all occurred on the same night!

I had a dream last week that I had a new job working with a group of people I had never met before. We were all working together on a specific project, but I don't remember what it was. I do remember that the rest of the people had all worked with each other for a long time, and I was the odd one out. We were all sitting on a fire escape outside of the building we were supposed to work in. One of the men said to the woman sitting next to me, "Do you remember the swarf party?" (He pronounce it like "sworf"). The woman said, "Yes! Of course!" and started laughing like it was the funniest thing. I was feeling a bit left out, so I asked, "What's a swarf party?" and the woman said, "It was supposed to be a scarf party, but we were a bit drunk when we wrote up the invitations. We accidentally asked everyone to bring their "swarves". People showed up with the oddest things!" We all started laughing, and I laughed so hard that I woke myself up. I kept saying "Swarf party! Bring your swarves!" and cracking up.

I really want to have a swarf party now. PPK meet-up, anyone?

I dreamt that my coworker was a zombie, but she was a very high-functioning zombie and she was still able to come to work and do her job, with a few accommodations for her "disability". Everyone just tried to avoid talking about food in the office, because that was ...awkward.

Last night my grandpa was in a dream too, though it was mostly me finding hidden rooms and extra basements in my grandparent's house. That would be sweet really, hidden rooms!

A week ago, I had a crazy dream with my most awful ex showing up (we only dated 5 months like 12 years ago, but she was pretty destructive). She showed up down here (I guess) and said she was gonna kill herself. I tried to convince her not to, but I didn't really have any compelling arguments and I figured someone must care about her, even if its clearly not me, but why are you here? She didn't apologize for being so emotionally abusive so I didn't really know why she was here, just that here she was. So, I couldn't convince her otherwise, and she left to go take care of business. I was sitting around a bit stunned at the whole thing talking to people, wondering if I should have called 911 or something wondering if she was already dead by then. Then my most recent ex pulls up and I woke up. Don't know why most recent ex showed up, but we sort of started talking the next day and I felt better about her but also more able to move on.

I guess it was my self conscious getting me over the old BS of relationship baggage or somesuch. But weird!

_________________Evolved a vascular system, so I went from bryophyte to lycophyte.

I dreamed that my sister left her husband of 10 years and was living with me. I woke up in the morning and she was sleeping on the couch, sitting up, instead of her bed and I thought, "Well if she died in her sleep, it won't matter if I walk the dog before I check her pulse." I got back from walking the dog and my sister was alive, but she'd decided to walk away from her whole life and was leaving with just a backpack of stuff. I was so sad that she was really leaving her husband and her whole life. It was one of those dreams where you're not 100% sure it wasn't real until you get a clue from real life. I was pretty relieved when my sister texted me today about something totally mundane and I knew she was still with us.

Eek, had a dream last night I threatened to kill someone. They said something that bugged me so I shouted, "Don't even forking try, I will forking kill you!" and other niceties. This was followed by a dream with my oldest brother walking around our house, which was weird because he doesn't visit, looking around the house and going through all the rooms.

Last night's dream: I had gone on a weekend trip about three hours from home, and realized when I got there that I had forgotten all my stuff. I was trying to decide whether to try to go back and get it. I knew I would have to leave pretty early if I were going to do that, because I can't drive that far at night due to my visual impairment (which is true in real life). But I felt like I really needed to be able to change my clothes in order to enjoy the weekend, for some reason (not likely how I would have felt in real life!) So my friends were like, okay, we'll drive you, and we got in the car. It then became apparent that the friend who was planning to drive is someone who actually has no eyesight (in real life she has no eyesight, and definitely does not drive). I was trying to figure out whether I should say something, or if I should just trust that she knew what she was doing since obviously she felt comfortable getting in the driver's seat of this car and maybe I was just making an ableist assumption that having no eyesight meant she couldn't drive. So she starts driving, I'm sitting in the front passenger seat, and our other friend is sitting in the back telling the friend who's driving if there are any obstacles coming up and where the curves in the road are, and I'm sitting there freaking the fork out that we're going to crash and die but I don't want to say anything because obviously my friend feels that she can drive despite not having eyesight and I don't want to hurt our friendship by making her think that I'm making assumptions about what she can or cannot do based on her disability. I woke up before I could find out whether the car was going to crash or not.

If anyone wants to try to tell me what my dream means, go for it.

_________________Man, fork the gender card, imma come at you with the whole damned gender deck. - Olives Did you ever think that, like, YOU are a sexy costume FOR a diva cup? - solipsistnationblog!FB!