How to stay sane while vacationing with teenagers

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and have been planning a family vacation which, of course, will include our two teenagers. We've tried to get the kids involved, but whenever we try to talk with them about what we've planned, we end up fighting. I'm about ready to cancel the whole thing. Can you think of a way we can put together a vacation that everyone will enjoy?

Unlike little kids, who are pretty hard to disappoint when it comes to travel—teens are notoriously difficult to please. To start with, there's a really good chance that you and your teens have very different ideas about how to define "fun." I'm guessing that the words "visit a few museums" are on your list somewhere, but are nowhere to be seen on theirs.

The most important thing you can do is get your kids as involved in the planning process as possible. I can tell you from first-hand experience that it feels horrible to have put a lot of time and effort into finding and setting up activities you think the kids will love, only to have them gripe and complain and say they hate them. Once you've laid out some budget and distance limits, encourage your kids to hop online and research everything, from activities and attractions to hotels and restaurants. The more involved they are, the happier they'll be (and the less likely they'll be to complain later that "we never get to do anything we want to do"). Happy kids make a happy family vacation.

It's also important to be flexible and always have a Plan B (and maybe C or D)—and ask your kids to do the same. Things rarely go 100% perfectly—events get cancelled, weather changes, roller coaster rides close unexpectedly—so be prepared to make last-minute or on-the-fly adjustments.