How To Handle Self-Deprecating Fatties

GLPiggy has a post about fat customers at his restaurant joking about their weight and putting wait staff in a difficult spot.

A co-worker at the restaurant came looking for my wisdom the other day. “What do you say when a fat customer jokes about their weight?” This happens a lot in booth sections, by the way. Fat people struggle to squeeze into booths and, because they are embarrassed about it, make light of their size. I have a friend at work who makes jokes about being big. I don’t bite by lying and automatically saying that she’s skinny. She’s not fat, but she’s not skinny. I just don’t want to play that game so I tell her, jokingly (yeah, I cop out), that it’s not right to put people on the spot like that. You’re either begging for a lie or making that person feel like a jerk for agreeing.

How people should respond to self-deprecating fatties and how people will respond are two different things. Here is how people will respond, based on the type of person subject to the awkward fatty self-flagellation:

Fatty: “Oh, wow, I must be getting fat. I can’t fit into this booth.”

Thin woman: “No, you look good!”
Thin woman, later with her friends: “Did you see that fat bitch?”
Fat woman: “No, you look good!”
Fat woman, later to herself: “What a fat bitch.”
Omega male: “No, you look good!”
Omega male, later to himself: “I wonder if she liked me?”
Beta male: *smiles and nods sympathetically with pursed lips*
Beta male, later with his friends: “I’m getting tired of these fat chicks hitting on me.”
Alpha male: *blank stare*
Alpha male, later with his friends: “Hey, Beta Male, the really cute chick at table six wants you to come out and say hi. Says she knows you from her World of Warcraft guild.”
Alpha male who doesn’t care about losing his job: “Admitting you have a problem is half the battle.”

The following is how people should respond with an eye on shaming the nation of human supernovas to end their sixty year gromance with self-inflicted deformity:

Fatty: “Oh, wow, I must be getting fat. I can’t fit into this booth.”

Avatar of Lightness: “Yup.”

Chuck likes the idea of “agreeing and amplifying” a fatty’s self-deprecation. So, for instance:

Fatty: “Oh, wow, I must be getting fat. I can’t fit into this booth.”

Avatar of Lightness: “You and me both!” [this is even funnier if you’re skinny and patting your flat stomach while saying it] “I’ll put you down for a Diet Coke then?”

Or, if you prefer to insert your Shiv with more subtlety:

Fatty: “Oh, wow, I must be getting fat. I can’t fit into this booth.”

Avatar of Lightness: “Don’t worry about it. The booths are made for anorexics. Anyone who judges you is just jealous.”

just like athena the goddess of wisdom sprand from zeus’s forehead
my son da LOTSAS COCKASSZ god of wise ginal penenateteratzioz sprung from just above my two big ballsz–my two big manospherz speherical spehaerz lzozlzozoz

HEY HEATIETSTEES!!! HEATRIRTESS!!

da biggest compplimentz i ever get is whne people say dat i am u and u are me lzlzlzozozozozoozo whihc is a compliment even though your spelling and grammarz are all fucked up, but it is a compliment as even though you wite in a fucked up incorrorcect non grammaaticcal ungramaamtical way, we can still see dat da heartsistez a has a soul of gold and iwt and wisdom worthy of homer an dmoes zlzozlolzzozoz modes moses!!!!

The Foundational Sin of ALAN ROEBUCK Bearing False Witness Against Men

“We must also point out an uncomfortable truth: You may bear some of legitimate responsibility for your wife’s unhappiness. Not all female complaints are frivolous. Although it is wrong for the woman to allow these complaints to drive her to divorce, the man should not goad her into doing evil. If you can change those of your behaviors that ought to be changed, to prevent the great evil of divorce, more the better. Do whatever it takes, short of sin or dishonor, to prevent divorce.”

Alan, your fundamental sin is that you are bearing false witness against men, blaming them for the fact that women are destroying the modern family. Bearing false witness is a violation of the Law of Moses, which Jesus came to fulfill. So, in short, you are violating your own comments policy, by flagrantly violating the Law of Moses and Jesus, and thusly disrespecting and dishonoring them.

Alan, you are addressing men you do not even know, and you write, “”We must also point out an uncomfortable truth: You may bear some of legitimate responsibility for your wife’s unhappiness.”

That is castigating and impugning men you do not even know. You are bearing false witness against men.

Then you accuse men that you do not know of goading women into evil, “the man should not goad her into doing evil.”

That is castigating and impugning men you do not even know. You are bearing false witness against men.

Then you tell men, that you do not know, that there is something wrong with them:

“If you can change those of your behaviors that ought to be changed, to prevent the great evil of divorce, more the better.”

That is castigating, impugning, an dinsulting men you do not even know. You are bearing false witness against men, accusing them of causing divorce.

Alan, please adhere to your own comments policy, as Jesus teaches the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as ye would have them do unto you.”

http://orthosphere.org/2013/05/20/must-a-traditional-man-accept-modern-marriage/
“Earl | May 20, 2013 at 10:43 pm
Alan, FYI, GBFM is a performance artist that perhaps cannot properly be understood by anyone who has not had an extensive bout with highly intellectual nihilism in a thoroughly post modernist setting, such as the modern ivy league academy, or Starbucks. His performance is at first nothing but post modern irony and stupidity but at second glance has some content that has caused me to go lolzlzlzlz for a long long time. I believe he is CH, the other famously genius nihilst on the internet going lolzlzlz all day long on shots of espresso. When responding to GBFM it is best to stick to ironic humor so as to ward off the onset of crushing existential anxiety associated with a close brush of the abyss from an authentic post-modern soul.”

SPEAKZING OS STARBUCKXZ
I AHvee beenn been granted an ineetrview INTERVEIEWZ at a STRBAUCKCSZ wher ei hope hop e hope to beomce a bariststz a to pay of my beenrneka stsudntez loansz sdat have buttehxted me in d abungohoeloliliooi9

lzozzzozozoz zbutetehxtxualalzlzo

my lastste interviewz was going wrealal releally really well with the store managaer who was a hot hot hote hottiez and so just as i figured i had the job sealeld, i offered to make her a lattez with two shotz of gbfmspresso on her face whichc she turned down but i thin dink dat she is just playing hardd to getz and does ot want o to seemz too ambitious in hirirngd me as den i might get upptity and demand a raisezz raisez. here is how i would ask her for a riasez.

It’s largely a matter of perspective. Even relatively thin women here are Shamu-like compared to, say, Spanish girls. The venn diagram of LTR-worthy women with the BMI circle produces a very small demographic indeed.

As a high functioning alcoholic, I resent being compared to a fatty.When people got their fix on nicotine instead of sugar, the population wasn’t nearly as huge. I’d take a 60-70% smoking population any day over the land whales we have now. The stupid woman they use for the anti-smoking commercials (yeah, I shouldn’t watch tv) with the tube in her throat is easily less hideous than half the people I’d see in a Walmart.

I educate fatties in my office about paleo diet. I teach them to stop trying to eat like rabbits, eat like a human (meat), and EXERCISE. It is amazing how truly IGNORANT most people are. It is literally as if they live under a rock. I was born in 1975 and was an elementary school kid during Reagan’s “Presidential Fitness Test” days–we were measured in how many pullups, standing long jump, 50 yard dash, etc we could do. Guess what. That program worked. I practiced my pullups way back when I was 8 and have been doing pullups and pushups and working out ever since. It is amazing how ignorant the fatties are. They think they should try to eat nothing but lettuce and never think about BURNING any calories. Then of course they can’t stick to eating only lettuce, they binge on cookies, but still never move their bodies, and hence they are polluting my environment with their fatness.

The best way to a hard body, of course, if it were possible, would be to eat 5,000 calories a day but also burn 5,000 calories a day.

I had a date last night with a hard body 9 who got that way cause she works outside on a farm all day. She burns 3500 calories a day. #winning.

This. I’ve long gotten into arguments with fatties and health enthusiasts alike. Your body can run on anything if it’s lean enough. I subsist mostly off fast food, salsa and chips, and other crap that’s at best “not good” for me. And lots of booze.

I also have an extremely dedicated workout regimen which I spent 3 years ramping up until it was pushups in sets of 50, chinups in 20 and crunches in 160. And cardio counts.

What people don’t get is that a muscular body burns calories at rest at much higher rates than even pudgy people exercising. It’s like running a V8 Mustang next to a Ford Focus with both in park. Usain Bolt burns more calories on the couch than Rosie O’Donnell does after an hour and a half on an elliptical.

The human body is simple: eat whatever you want and live a high-octane lifestyle. 10-20 minutes a day of targeted resistance lifting can keep you in shape once you work down to form.

good luck with that approach, young grasshopper. food quality matters if you don’t want to be a sickly old person. lack of micronutrients increases oxidative stress in a cumulative manner. besides, approaches like paleo address insulin issues that fat people frequently deal with as a result of their former diets. it makes it easier for people to stick to their diets for biochemical reasons that you clearly haven’t researched much – so i don’t know why you’d go around arguing with people about it.

Well I fuckied it up by being beta. God fuck it I am CH’s stupidest reader. I simply refuse to apply his lessons to my own detriment. Thus girl thinks I’m very good looking yet I fucked it up by coming off as needy. I just fucking know it. Fuck me. I fucking hate how one simply cannot be nice to a girl in he beginning even if one us a true high value guy with inner confidence. I could literally make this girl’s life but she will never know.

I mean these stupid bitches. Unlike many here I would get married. I would stay with an old woman for 40 years in exchange for just a few years of sex with a young her. But no they won’t do it. Then all the bitching about no good men. I’m right here. A good looking rich man who is fun and good in bed always doing fun stuff like trips and concerts. I can’t fucking find a 7 to simply let me be nice to her. Fuck me.

I fucking hate how one simply cannot be nice to a girl in he beginning even if one us a true high value guy with inner confidence. I could literally make this girl’s life but she will never know.

Eww. KILL IT WITH FIRE.

Who told you that you deserve a reward for being “nice,” that you are owed something for broadcasting sniffling weakness? Worse, you just “fucking hate” that the world does not applaud fecklessness.

Stop patting yourself on the back, niceguy. You obviously will not “make this girl’s life” because your cri de coeur about the sheer injustice of it all will fuck you up forever.

You don’t pretend to be “mean” or “not nice” or a “jerk.” You actually have to live it and like it, because it is not detestable in the way you imagine it is. Nor is it as terrible as a woman outwardly claims it is: When a girl says, “be nice” or “you’re so meannnn!” she is saying it ironically. That’s why her eyes twinkle and she often accompanies the accusation with an involuntary smile or a delighted expression of surprise.

Nice is the new N word. Nice is true evil. Nice is retreating passivity and gentleness when strength is required. Nice is worse than simple weakness: It is subversive of the manliness that not only makes women melt but also makes the world go round. A nation cannot survive populated by niceguys, as this moribund culture is in the middle of proving. And women, for all their slogans and “thoughts” and checklists, are physically repulsed by this viciousness rechristened into a virtue; a subversion achieved by the very women who have fashioned their entire lives around the project of hating men. The feminists pedestalized “nice.”

“hobby” yuppie farmers do lots of physical work. Real farmers do some physical work, but ride gigantic machines most of the time. Any ==real==farm family will have the daughters driving a combine or even better, a pickup truck from field to office/maintenance shop to field, supervising the hired help and making shuttle runs. A big operation might have the daughter(s) in front of a satellite-network computer, watching the commodities futures prices and catching a daily peak price for sale of the days’ harvest.

Comments like that are ploys for attention- getting dragged into a conversation is a losing move, whether it’s validation or jousting. Ignore the comment, take the order, don’t engage in anything that could be misconstrued as banter or flirting. If the magnitude, not the direction, of the reaction is an indication of the effect of a remark, then the proper magnitude in this case is zero.

Am I the only person who finds it hilarious to hit on fatties? Using full on beta-compliment game?
If nothing else it’s amusing to watch how confused any hot friends they have get. Maybe it’s my quirky British sense of humour.

You can make great money in the service industry, especially in a non-corporate place in a decent city.

That being said, women (and to a lesser extent men) attempt to illicit complements from you constantly. They’re the ones paying you, and you can get fired for the smallest thing. Average turnover for front of house is about 6 months.

With men at least, you can often times tease them back. A man joking about his weight is often trying to invite a flirtatious or funny conversation. Women just want you kiss their ass while they run you ragged over a mediocre tip. This isn’t just my experience as a female, even male coworkers have almost universally prefered male customers.

Boiled down to it’s essence, the F YOU fund is nothing more than realizing that you need to order your life so that you are not in a position to be forced to do something….or do anything you don’t want to out of a position of fear.

There is an idea in psychology that we make what we believe we are worth. That our income is based on what we are used to. If you lose a job you’re likely to get another one paying about the same. A reason poor people who win the lottery often become poor again. I have threatened to leave my work before because I felt I was not being respected. There’s always something else out there. The problem is that most people work for someone else and are beta by definition. They are beholden to someone. And that is why they become dependent on a single job. They want job security. I’d rather be good at making work than keeping a job.

If you are in the position that a oneitis-job is mightily important to you; you are lesser beta to omega.

“Oneitis job” is well put. If you are depending on your income from a single source, you are that source’s slave. Which is why the alpha male, warrior, gentleman, chieftain, and renaissance man of our era is the entrepreneur.

If you don’t possess the fortitude to create your own employment and be your own boss, at least strive for quasi-independent contracting. If you get a W2, you are another man’s bitch. “Employee” is another word for faggot.

Although I have the utmost respect for those who are able to find a way to be their own boss while making a decent living, I postulate that there is no shame in any honest work. I reserve my scorn for able-bodied adults who would prefer to accept government assistance rather than work.

Yes, and no kidding. But we weren’t talking about “any honest work” versus “government assistance.” We were talking about preserving one’s economic will versus serving another’s.

More broadly: wealth creation versus paper-shuffling. Women have a very difficult time distinguishing the two, and modern employment has been made safe for women’s peculiarities.

Among the “able-bodied” workforce, working for oneself is superior to working for another. Both are superior to being a parasite and not working at all.

This inability to keep from wandering off-topic into your own divertissements is adorably feminine of you. I’m keeping a ledger. +1 pink point for the manjaw. (Unless you were consciously attempting a manly “reframe,” in which case -5 points.)

I know what you guys are saying, and in America 2.0, anyone not in a medical or legal field has no hope of job security… and even then.

But I will admit to being one of those “employees with a W-2… I made a damn fine living, lo, the past 25 years, doing what I love to do for a large corporation… and I was even lucky enough to be grandfathered into a fair pension, not forgetting a fat 401K which I took pains to accrue along those years.

I’m one of those “too young to retire” semi-retired guys now, enjoying a lot of free time, dabbling in this n’ that for hobby and a buck here n; there, with no fear of a dog-food future.

But like I said, I was one of the lucky ones where the timing was right, the job was interesting and lasted well-past the usual outsourcing miasma, and because it was more technical rather than service, I didn’t have to eat a lot of crap from know-nothing middle-management drones… they had to come to me, and usually with hat in hand.

(Much like when your car stops running… suddenly the mechanic seems like a royal fellow, well-met.)

But like I said, I know what you guys are saying, and you’re right… any young guy coming up nowadays would do well to find something he loves to do and for which he can be self-employed.

Not a stupid question imo, as entrepreneurship is often more of a discovered lifestyle than carefully mapped career path.

I was more or less maxed out compensation-wise, plus my (last ever) boss was taking my contributions for granted. Given, I was making good money, had a pretty comfortable and free work environment….but there wasn’t any serious challenge on my horizon there, and I couldn’t stand the idea of doing the same shit, seeing the same people, etc. from now until dinosaurs again roam the earth. (Lol, I wasn’t haaaappy.)

After almost a year of seeking distraction, I had a sort of drunken epiphany: “Wait a minute. As a wholesaler in this field, I know the producers/manufacturers of ____. And at the other end of the chain, I also know the retailers of ____. I also know and understand the consumers of this product as well as anyone does. So why am I putting the lion’s share of the profits from my efforts into my employer’s pocket? I can get what the producers/manufacturers put out into the hands of the retailers just as well as my organization does at present….but I can do it cheaper on my own, because I’ll have less overhead.”

The first year was a maelstrom — learning on the fly, a lot of making shit up and pretending I had everything on lock. No fucking sleep, and a lot of two steps forward with two steps back. But in the second year I got things pretty much corralled. And in the third year, we took off like a big bird.

Whats this have to do with meeting ones needs? Ill get crapped on for this but so be it. I realize the philosophy here is male and deals with the way the world is rather than the way we might like it to be. But how about being somewhat humane to someone who probably gets enough marginalization as it is?

It’s like most liberals. They *almost* get it, but they stop just shy of the logical conclusion of their train of thought. Alot of times I wonder if being raised in a sheltered environment deludes them into thinking masculinity is unnecessary as they’ve never had to use it before. The saying should be “there are no liberals in foxholes.” If anything, and with a little luck, some rough handling will put some hair on the chest.

Lifting weights is for boys what wearing makeup is for girls unless you’re actually training to do something other than look at yourself in the mirror.

Is this supposed to not make me think you guys have a little sugar in your shoes?

You know I have no problem with anyone being Gay. I’m a little Bi myself…but you know what it is that keeps me 90/10 favoring dudes instead of 50/50?

It’s that I like the way women look and feel and smell when they’re clean, but as soon as 99% of them open their god damned mouths, it’s over for me. Most have nothing to talk about that doesn’t revolve around trinkets, their imaginary entitlements, and ways to maintain their illusions of entitlement.

You “guys” remind me of that. Almost all you ever talk about is what you feel you’re entitled to on someone else’s back. It just goes on and on and on.

So…it reads like a tranny circle jerk: some dudes mimicking women, and it would be nice if like actual trannies, you were doing it on purpose, but you’re not. You’re being serious.

Oh, so lifting weight/exercise is just mental masturbation, right Nicole?
Gentlemen, never take health advice from the unhealthy.
Never take advice on being masculine from someone who’s been rejected by the masculine.
Never believe the opinion of your culture from someone on the outside looking in with envy and jealousy.
Thou protesteth much, Nicole.

Post my picture on the interwebz for you to masturbate to? I couldn’t sleep at night knowing how jealous your friend/ex husband would be. Rest assured, when it comes to climbing mountains you wouldn’t be able to keep up. Paleo diet, running, and weight lifting. Some people actually do it, Nicole.

Patty, at the end of the day, I have improved my health and have the pics to show it, and all you have is excuses why nobody should think you’re a lying sack of shit who hasn’t lifted anything heavier than his laptop since birth.

Here’s a clue for you: some other guys here are just as racist as you or moreso. They’re just not as butt hurt, and so we have a kind of understanding. We have actual debates on actual issues, and all of us are willing to learn something from each others’ perspectives.

We play the dozens a bit here and there, but all in all, it’s fairly good natured. Also, if I’m not posting in a thread or involved in a conversation, they don’t bring me up, and I don’t bring them up unless it is unavoidable because something specific they said deserves credit.

Some of them are younger than you pretend to be, and some came here sincerely looking for advice and community. So again, they outclass you in that they can honestly own their needs and perspective, and may not be what I would consider ideal men, but are well on their way because they’re genuine.

You and your little circle jerk buddies though, come here for what exactly? Just to lord over people? Nobody knows who the fuck you are, and nobody cares. The rest of us are here to discuss game and help each other to navigate our respective hostile or seemingly hostile dating environments.

So seriously, if you dudes can’t see your way to being helpful in some way other than encouraging young men to pedestalize women of any ethnicity, just please find somewhere else to be, and if you can’t then at least leave me out of it when I am not choosing at the moment to engage your stupidity.

Do you mean how to stop them from hitti g on you? NO don’t be mean. But you also have to develop a much harder solid frame as to not give her the idea that she has a chance.The best responses I’ve seen attractive men give to crazy women who are waaaay out if his league where everyone knows it and has that kinda grin on their face, is to be tactful but in a nice/joking way like:

Smiling but saying “nah I’m good!” And joking the rest if the way out but making it clear you are not interested.

Or just start looking away to signal “ok times up” and eventually they’ll get the picture.

But don’t be a jerk. It’s never ok to be outright rude to someone you don’t want hitting on you unless they just won’t go away. Or unless they’re being rude themselves.

I was a waitress for many years. And I also work in an industry now where this happens a lot ( not necessarily just the fat thing but other self deprecating comments) in where you feel kinda akward.

The best way to handle anyone making awkward or embarrassing jokes about themselves (or others) is to simply give then a slight smirk with raised eyebrows. It’s that “uuh I’m staying out of this” look.

When Da Losats Cockas was a waitezz at McDonald’s all the coworkerszz were land whales except this was early 90s so some were not including one hottie Puerto Ricanz who became da Losats Cockas first GF. little cutie 105 poundszz. lzolzo.

At least the response was humorous self-deprecation. Personally, I find that much more winning than the opposite.

Cool Story, Bro! Time:

When I was in high school–and thus too young to work in a “real” restaurant that served liquor–I worked as a server in an all-you-can-eat buffet. (Laugh all you want; that job paid for a car, insurance, and all my clothes.)

I doubt it will come as a surprise to you that observing the front of that particular house was like watching a LARP of “Hungry Hungry Hippos.” It truly was a sight to behold; the front of that house made “People of Wal-Mart” look like the Victoria’s Secret fashion show.

And oh my, didn’t my customers give the lie to the saying that fat people are jolly. They’d whine and bitch because they couldn’t get their Rascal scooters close enough to the buffet. They’d complain when the gallon of Ranch dressing they’d dumped all over their Sysco chicken wings ran off the edge of the plate to festoon their enormous, globular guts. They’d demand booth seating, and then go into spittle-flecked hypertensive fits when they couldn’t fit in them. You’d think they’d be embarrassed, but nope! It wasn’t their fault, it was the table’s fault.

Had I ever heard a single humorously self-deprecating word from any of them, I’d probably have fainted dead away from shock. (Also from hypoglycemia, because I usually couldn’t bring myself to eat for several hours after my shifts. There’s nothing quite like watching people stuff themselves so full of Sysco’s finest that it starts coming out the corner of their mouths, like pate geese.)

At least the response was humorous self-deprecation. Personally, I find that much more winning than the opposite.

Right. The ones who are self-deprecating will also be gentle enough to accept your righteous agreement. I don’t think that kind of fatty is looking for agreement with surreality. They are preemptively shaming themselves, which indicates a degree of self-awareness. They know they are hideous and unnatural.

On the other hand, the hardcore monsters, the ones who embrace their ugliness and have an attitude about it — they are not even slightly aware of social rejection. They will never self-deprecate because their years of living under layers of blubber have insulated them from all social graces.

I find these former human beings difficult to communicate with on a very basic level, much less to insult. Monstrum in fronte, monstrum in animo. They have dead eyes broadcasting dead souls. The ones who don’t are appalled at what they have become, and will agree with your shaming.

For those with hope, I ignore their sad attempt to excuse their sloth, except to look at them in silent judgment. It inspires the slender girl inside who is earnestly trying to shed the fat suit, the encouragement of which this culture needs more.

Please keep it coming. This makes everyday I cannot walk after pilates worth it. I come here to get the bitter truth and just went down another size.

My only caveat is if the person is trying to lose weight. When you have lost a bit and you are still fat someone being nasty can drive you to chocolate.
Something to keep in mind if you actually love the person and want them to succeed.

For instance, my Husband just give me a look. It is enough. And reading here :)

Another one I hate is when someone blatantly comes out and asks you to guess their age. UGH! It’s not so bad when they obviously look young and you can’t offend them, but when they don’t look that “safe young age” that everyone says (even when their asses look much older) its really akward.

I used to just pray and throw out a low number, but one time this girl asked me and she looked maybe mid 30’s so I went down to late 20’s and she was actually early 20’s!!!:eek::oops:

So now I just say in a joking way while laughing “oh god no I’m terrible with guessing ages do I vow to never do it!” At first they’ll give you crap but eventually they’ll back off.

This isn’t really a problem for men. Girl looks kind of young, smirk and say “Twelve.” Girl looks a bit older, “I’d say a well preserved 67. No, 72.” If you to make it flirty, it can be; if you want to make it cruel, it can be that too. It just depends on how you look at her while you say it.

This was always the worst. Almost always some woman in that bitter 35-45 range. Yes, they were trim and well dressed. Sure they looked good for their age. No, they did not look younger. There is nothing more pathetic than a handsome middle-aged woman still striving to be a cute little girl.

“Oh, I never guess ages as only one of three things can happen. One, I guess too high and you get offended because you think I said you look old. Two, I guess too low and you get offended because you think I said you look immature. Three, I get it exactly right and then you get offended because you wanted me to say that you ‘look younger’ or you ‘look more mature’.”

Then I look at their hands and get their age to within a year almost every time.

This seriously needs to stop. I get it ok the douche CEO at a&fitch don’t want fat people wearing his clothes. SO EFFIN WHAT! My god just go spend your money elsewhere! There are a million clothing stores that cater to all sizes. If a company doesn’t want a certain consumers business then id rather know upfront so I can spend my
Money elsewhere. Why even go to these lengths is beyond me?

Trying to force people to accept and like fatness is futile. If you are happy with yourself then you don’t need to prove it by going on about people or entities that don’t agree with it.

I personally take the fat is beautiful thing as insulting because it was that way of thinking that made me squander a lot if my prime youth being fat and thinking it was fine. It’s really detrimental to young girls to tell them that being fat is beautiful b/c it IS NOT. It’s really unhealthy and comes with a lot of not so good health consequences.

I also know the struggles of trying to lose weight and I do not believe that one should try to simply be skinny but rather be at their healthiest (which attributes to being thinner than fatter).

This chick I get her point but its starting to get annoying after awhile. I’m the kind if person that feels if someone doesn’t like me for whatever reason DO BE IT – YHEIR PROBLEM NOT MINE. But trying to force people to accept you is annoying.

Never had a fat person beg for a sympathy compliment by laughing about their weight. Some fat people have laughed at their weight, but I always assume they are doing it because they are somewhat embarassed about their fatness, but are positive. You know, NOT BITTER and spiteful, and hypersensitive to any comment even remotely about their fatness. Thus, I respect these self-deprecators, at least they are usually pleasant to be around with.

So, in situations like these… If you can’t say something nice, just shut the fuck up.

Being intelligent has helped me a great deal in my life. I have a successful career and the respect of my peers.

The only possibility I can think of is that it shrinks the pool of women that you would date because you wouldn’t want to date an idiot but I don’t think high standards are a bad thing and I don’t see how it make you less attractive to women.

I’m sure being intelligent has helped in many aspects of your life. Where it fails is with women. This has been talked about many times at the chateau. At the extreme of higher IQ you’ll find the aspies. They have zero social acumen. Even if you’re not that high it still inhibits your understanding of social dynamics. Higher IQ people tend to be more cerebral and think about things logically. A lot of game theory is counter-intuitive. It is the opposite of what book learning tells you. Since someone with a high IQ is going to have a lot of book learning and societal programming via school/college and higher degrees, it becomes a greater obstacle to understanding the unseen matrix of male/female subcommunication. Add to that the defense mechanisms of the ego and the devastation of identity when given evidence that everything you thought you knew was a pretty lie…

The reason I ask is because I don’t think I would. I’m about three standard deviations higher than average which means I would have to drop about 45 points, or 30 points in your case. I think that would mean giving up everything that makes you the person you are.

Imagine asking someone of average intelligence if they would drop 30 – 45 IQ points to become successful with women, you are basically asking them if they would become disabled which is what an IQ that low would amount to, I seriously doubt they would take that deal so why would anyone with a high IQ take it ?

I know intelligence isn’t a complete blessing, I suffered crushing depression and an existential crisis from the age of 16 that lasted for 6 years, I really didn’t start living my life until I was 23 and there is no cure and it doesn’t get better you just learn to live with it. The only way I can function is to live my life with complete cynicism and selfishness but what is the alternative.

Re: women, it’s best to be one standard deviation above them in intelligence. If you’re two standard deviations higher, something innately tells them to find someone just a wee bit dumber. Three standard deviations, you can forget it.

Wrong. Managing one’s intelligence is not like partitioning a hard drive. Often at higher levels, it comes with hard-wired specialization. A man who excels at theoretical physics does not necessarily possess the capacity for gaming women that a man of normal intelligence does. His skills are not going to grow in the same way, nor develop along the same lines. For him, learning how to be social at a normal level can take a hell of a lot more work… if he even cares to do it at all.

Imagine if every woman in the world was retarded. And then think about having to lower yourself to their mindset in order to get sex. That really is the level of difference.

Exactly. One thing I’ve been honing is how to hide my IQ where I’m likely to meet attractive women, once I figured out that “he’s really smart!” makes women think of me more as a freak show rather than give them ‘gina tingles. Along with not talking about things like the latest finds in the astrophysics world, I mix in a shot of the behavior of the dudes on the movie Idiocracy (except for the lead, who’s a major league beta).

“Imagine asking someone of average intelligence if they would drop 30 – 45 IQ points to become successful with women, you are basically asking them if they would become disabled which is what an IQ that low would amount to, I seriously doubt they would take that deal so why would anyone with a high IQ take it ?”

Why even pose the question. The test is called “dating market value” test, not life’s worth test, not character value test in totality. It is a test to assess the general strength of relationship and sex appeal to women. So you get docked a point for IQ 145? So? You get added a point for getting arrested. This doesn’t mean that guys who get arrested are somehow better people than those who don’t. It just means they get more gina tingles.

I am a bit surprised that a person of IQ 145 would choose to approach the issue by taking it personally and not trying to assess to objective validity of the claim. One generally expects a more logical approach from the high IQ types.

I concur with pulsotic and corvinus. Lower IQ people have an advantage in scope of appeal because they are more similar to more people. I think they may also objectively have more sexual personalities because their interactions are not marked by overanalysis. Higher IQ people tend to be nerdier and in a way more distant (in part because they are used to not connecting as well with the bulk of people).

But a higher IQ will help a man achieve career success without trying as hard, so he should be able to compensate for the higher IQ with higher status if he is in the right field.

A higher IQ tends to make a woman’s personality somehow more austere and in a way less fun and flirtatious.

The research is that higher IQ men have a higher chance of getting married (don’t know what that says about their attractiveness). Higher IQ women have a lower chance of getting married as the IQ increases. That probably does say something about their attractiveness in general.

[CH: Too much IQ is bad for pick-up because it facilitates navel-gazing. Too little is bad because it prevents learning. For very dumb men I would counsel them to just act like assholes, which probably already comes naturally to them. They will do much better with women simply amping up the asshole instead of stumbling over game tactics that are over their heads.]

Intelligence is not unattractive in itself. But it is a likely indicator of social dysfunction for two reasons: smart men tend to 1) overestimate the importance of their asset and 2) socially mismanage their asset.

“Intelligence” is a catch-all phrase that generally means mentally “virtuous.” There are many varieties of this kind of virtue — observant, analytical, quick-witted, knowledgeable, problem-solving.

Our schooling is a massive intelligence-improvement project. Adulthood is achieved by gaining measurable signs of smartness that have to be deliberately inculcated, unlike other more natural developments, like physical or social maturity.

So we overestimate intelligence’s importance because it is somewhat controllable via education, and because it is the decisive sign of our adult independence. Those who believe themselves smart — because they’ve been told that their whole lives, because they got grades and awards, because their other developments suffered, etc. — find a rude awakening in the adult world, where one is no longer measured by intellectual examination.

When the world rejects a smart young adult’s special virtue as merely one among many, rather than honoring it as the preeminent standard, the social effects are large. The smart boy is used to being honored, he is used to straightforward studying and testing. He resents “dumb” people’s advancement past him. He looks down on the social scene as his inferiors. None of this makes for a pleasant person, which redoubles his predicament.

People who declare their intelligence are usually not as intelligent as they think they are. It is the lingering effect of their social maladaptation, the lie their parents/school told them to buck up their confidence. Perversely, it doesn’t contribute to confidence but rather to their resentment.

Like all virtues, intelligence speaks for itself. The smartest people allow their work to announce their “IQ,” rather than assigning a ridiculous number to it and pretending that means diddly. (The “Mensa” Society is the very pinnacle of this unconscious self-parody.) Those who mention that quantitative fiction, even casually, indicate they still overestimate intelligence’s worth among all virtues, and it’s the overestimation that gets them in trouble, not the virtue itself.

What ultimately counts are the cardinal virtues: courage, temperance, wisdom, justice. Note that intelligence is not among them and is at best ancillary to achievement.

Is it possible to be “too” virtuous in anything? Too courageous? Too beautiful? Too smart? No. Virtue is defined by temperance, which finds the golden mean between two excesses. The classic example is Aristotle’s definition of courage as the moderation between cowardice and rashness. One cannot be “too balanced.”

Excellent point. Many times I’ve tried to help ‘smart’ guys talk to girls and they’ll refuse to talk to them, claiming the girls are dumb. One such person, when in conversation, always found a way to talk about his degree.
It’s telling that Matthew Thomas could only conclude that his pool of prospects was reduced because most girls are ‘idiots’. That shows a lack of responsibility for the problem and superiority issues.
To top it off, he describes a debilitating depression caused by being so smart that somehow slipped his mind when it came to the question of slaying ‘tang, as if that would in no way affect a woman’s desire to be around him.
Again, excellent comment. Seriously. It raises a big issue with the constant praise we seem to give children and I’m probably going to be thinking about this for a while.

Most people are stupid. I’m not just applying it to women. The bottom line is I don’t want a relationship with someone to dumb to hold a conversation about the things that interest me. The more intelligent you are the smaller that pool of people becomes.

Also praise was the last thing I ever got as a child and as for getting rewards at school I never used to go, all of my success came after my early 20s when I decided I was going to deal with the world on my terms and reject the bullshit way others frame things and the guilt/shame that went with it.

You don’t deserve the smart chicks because you can’t empathize with the dumb people around you. You might be intellectually smart, but you’re socially retarded. I understand, I was in that stage for a while.

When you figure out down the road that your ego has isolated you from the rest of the world who would welcome you with open arms, and you start looking at people’s good qualities aside from their IQ score, and start appreciating people for who they are including their flaws, you’ll realize that the Grinch should’ve just come down from his lonely cave and shared in the Xmas festivities with the rest of Whoville.

Somebody hasn’t been paying attention to this site. A high IQ means you aren’t alpha. The “sexual market value” promoted here is inversely proportional to social value. The alpha isn’t the producer, creator, or thinker, he’s the guy who steals what others produce and usurps dominance in the social hierarchy.

[CH: The alpha is the guy who gets the most attention from the hottest babes. That’s it. He can be a creator or a street thug, the actual mechanics of his rise to alphadom are only relevant as an indicator of his moral core.]

My high-IQ dad married my average-IQ mom… it causes a lot of problems. Dad doesn’t have anyone to talk to, and mom’s been known to go batshit at family dinners when she can’t understand what my dad’s talking to my brother and I about.

High intelligence makes it difficult to interact with people of average intelligence, be they male or female. My IQ was found to be 162 when I was 8 years old. While I have had to work hard to learn social skills, this has never come naturally to me, and to be truly succesful at it, I have very often had to hide my intelligence. This is especially true when dealing with women of average intelligence and with beta (read: insecure) males who are in a position of authority over me (or believe themselves to be). Intelligent women and naturally confident men do not present problems.

The reason high intelligence can be a detriment when picking up women is that intelligent men tend to view their intellect as a marker of high value (as it should be), but people, and women especially, of average intelligence are not usually capable of recognizing intelligence when exposed to it, and so do not percieve it as valuable.

“This list was inspired by a spam email I keep getting titled “Three questions that make every women horny,” so in case you’re my dad or someone like him, I don’t even know what the word “horny” means, OK?

I put all the dishes away, is that OK?

You mean to tell me that you are actually 13 years older than you appear? Is it possible that I could even be more attracted to you than I was initially?

Do you mind if I just take care of the laundry? There is a certain way that I like to do it.

Will it bother you if I scratch your head for a while?

Don’t you think you need a new pair of boots to really pull that outfit together?

That dinner was so delicious, will you please make it for me again? Scratch that. Will you share the recipe with me and I’ll just make it myself in the near future, with possible riffs and improvements?

How can it be that you’ve said something so insightful when you just said something even more witty before that and are likely to blow my mind again momentarily?

A semi-obscure British Fusion Deep Traditional folk-singing group from the late 1960s captured perfectly the pre-human origens of everything that is worth perserving in our doomed culture.
The 5 members of Pentangle could barely pass, any of them, for modern humans. They were obviously such far gone Neanderthalic innocents that they signed a management contract that gave their bosses no obligation to pay them any money at all regardless for the stupendous work that they did.
IMHO, they deserved an intervention to enhance, in a righteous way. their bargaining positions.

The dogs have finished. Let us dig some holes. Very few graves are in any way “marked”.
Selah…

one must reconcile oneself to the slings and arrows of the Divorce Crucible. Its like those mexican street gangs;if you want to leave,they all line up and beat the hell out of you. but when its done,you’re free to go.

Check this NYTimes article out. It discusses women’s lack of desire for long term mates. Apparently they are trying to create a “desire” pill to allow women trick women into thinking their beta is an alpha.

What a bunch of whiny fuckers! She’s too fat, she’s too stupid, she’s too ugly, she’s too skinny, she’s too titless, she’s too slutty, she’s too old, she’s too aggressive, etc. ad nauseum. In the mean time, all you get to do is whack off to porn on the internet, convinced that the sex in the porn movies is ‘real’. She-male loving faggots, furries, fuzzies, and every other kind of sexual deviation a human could possibly think of is rampant among you degenerate onanaites. GROW UP AND MAN UP! If you’re a fucking fatty yourself, with man boobs and no muscle tone, you’re not going to get the good girls. If you’re a skinny geek, you’re not going to get the good girls.If you’re a Frankenstein, you’re not going to get the good girls.If you’re a fucking slob, and dress like you’re five, you’re not going to get the good girls. If you’re spending all of your money on video games, and not dates, you’re not going to get the good girls. If you’re a mannerless clod, you’re not going to get the good girls. If you’re a sleazy prick, you’re not going to get a good girl. If you’re a brainiac, you’re not going to impress her with your understanding of quantum physics. If you’re any of these things, and you think you deserve a ’10’ when you’re a fucking ‘3’, you are going to live a long and lonely life. If you think that all women are ‘bitches’, ‘gold diggers’, ‘stupid’, ‘feminazis’, ‘whores’, and ‘ball busters’, you’re going to be childless, unmarried, bitter old men. The other races don’t expect perfection, so they’re going to outbreed you– while you sit around in a circle jerk and sulk about White girls not being ‘perfect’.

You want to know what the problem is? It’s not women–it’s you! If you want sex, or even love, from a woman, you’d better take a long hard look in the fucking mirror and see what the problem is. Otherwise, the White race is going to be wiped off the goddam planet because of whiny, demanding, childish LOSER men who won’t fuck someone that isn’t fucking perfect.

But this site is, overall, good for the white race. Young white men who have issues socializing with women, learning how to get better at socializing with women. With these increased skills, statistically speaking most will end up with one white child each. Men who may have never bred otherwise will likely lock down better quality women and breed with them.

I do hope they have more than one white child each.

But why are you calling them losers and saying they need to improve themselves? I’m of the understanding that they reason they’re here IS to try to improve themselves socially.

If you want to be a successfully married man, you’d better be sure that you know that woman inside and out. You better be sure that she’s not just sexually compatible, but that she’s on the same page as you in the following areas:

-fidelity
-loyalty
-money
-sex
-religion
-politics
-children
-child rearing
-status
-hobbies
-interests
-work
-division of chores
-friends
and etc. Most of you dumb fucks take more time out in researching a car or a goddamn sports team than you do in checking out your future wives….and you wonder why the divorce rate is through the roof! Jesus, what a generation of weak-assed morons!

Cooperation and give and take in a marriage is really important.
She makes the food, I eat the food.
She stays thin and in return I don’t fuck her catty backstabbing friends in the ass and record it over our wedding tape.

I don’t do self depreciation, but I do reality based humor. I have a name for my belly. It is Berthana. Since she has saved a life (guy falling over a ledge, and I used my weight leverage to pull him back), she earned a name.

There are enough people who try to put me down. I don’t need to put myself down. When they survive all I have survived, and done better than me at it, then they will have place to look down on me in judgement. Those who have though, would not because they’ll appreciate their blessings as much as I appreciate mine, and have better things to think about.

At least with a fat person, the defect (if it is a defect and not the way the body protects itself against something worse) is visible. There are a great many slim people who are screwed up. If being slimmer made someone a better person, it would be worth worrying about. As it is, it does not, and the focus on weight gives slim people a way overblown sense of entitlement for doing something most of the world does from simply living without so many conveniences.