“Hello, friend,” said Leroy, reaching out to shake the oozing, scabrous hand of the green horror from beneath. “My name is John Leroy Jay, but you can call me Leroy. I was wondering if you had a moment to talk about the marvelous product I have for sale.”

The troll regarded him with baleful, rheumy eyes. “Ain’t got nothin’ I need,” it mumbled. “Ain’t got nothin’ to pay with either.”

“But my friend! These selfie sticks have a million and one uses around the home and office! No troll in your position can afford to be without one!”

“Howzat?”

“Well, you can use them as a back scratcher for one,” said Leroy with a glance at the troll’s boil-ridden backside. “It folds up nice but is whip strong, so you can hide it and then extend for a good smack on your enemies. And forget about dropping anything in a pond–the selfie sticks have got all your fishing-out needs in the bag!”