A site examining metaphysical forensics & the manipulation of thought

Posts tagged ‘Satanic Ritual Abuse’

My mind control case is not as sensational as those of Cathy OBrien or Brice Taylor, because my situation is much more covert, is is therefore more sinister, since I cannot point to the actual perpetrators of the crime against me, that started when I was born.

Much of my mind control programming has been done via implants at each ear, the size of RFIDs, Which are suspiciously located exactly where the external part of a cochlear implant would be (although mine go through the cartilage and are under the skin), possibly linking directly into my brain, which allows the perpetraitors (misspelled on purpose to denote that these people are indeed traitors to their own country because they are violating innocent human beings from birth and well into adulthood, possibly for one’s entire life), to do their evil, unseen by me, so I cannot point to specific persons to accuse.

I cannot blame the adoption agency, Catholic Charities, directly, because I can no longer find the article where I saw that they were indicted for child trafficking, although I did see it in a news story on television. Since I cannot back up the claim with any proof, I cannot make the claim.

I recently received a link from a kind reader, showing me how the Catholic church in Spain was involved in trafficking over 300,000 babies, telling their mothers their babies had died at birth:

“300,000 babies stolen from their parents – and sold for adoption: Haunting BBC documentary exposes 50-year scandal of baby trafficking by the Catholic church in Spain”

It’s a sick thing going on in the catholic church. If they’ve been doing it over in Spain, is it any stretch to think they might have done it to me and sold me into a mind control program, putting implants in my head as a baby during the first 6 weeks of my life, when I was in the agency’s custody?

That being said, most people who have done any research on children who are used in experiments are frequently from orphanages. It also must be noted that many targeted individuals that I know are adopted or were in foster homes.

Satanic Ritual Abuse is a well-known phenomenon, yet most people I speak to about it won’t recognize that it might have happened to me, in combination with mind control.

I am constantly being threatened by these voices to be thrown in jail, framed for something I haven’t done. My answer to those who are using these implants not only for telemetry, but also for broadcasting, is that if I ever end up in front of detectives or a judge, I will tell these people that I have these implants, and that those who did it, or those who are subordinates of those who did it, are interested in me being put away so I cannot talk about what has been done to me during my lifetime. Mind Control, Satanic Ritual Abuse, and the Occult go hand in hand. Knowing that the Constitution seems to no longer safeguard the public from these situations, I urge the reader to examine the following in relation to my implants (given that when they were implanted, in my infancy or early childhood, the Constitution was supposed to have protected me from such a violation):

One way in which my mind control programming differs from the type discussed in the Springmeier/Wheeler book called, “The Illuminati Formula Used to Create an Undetectable Total Mind Controlled Slave”, which can be found online, is that my programming was done by my own adoptive parents, so that it just looks like bad parenting by a narcissist mother. The implants make it more insidious because I cannot point directly to some evil mind like Dr. Cameron or Dr. Mengele and sue them, since they were probably implanted in my head when I was a baby, so I would not retain a memory of the procedure, nor remember the pain from it. Since I was in the agency’s custody for the first six weeks of my life, this seems to be the most likely time when it would’ve happened. My programming was more subtle, and less proveable than mind control victims like Cathy O’Brien or Brice Taylor, except for the implants, which I have so far been unable to get looked at by a professional.

The fact that I was denied disability, despite the fact that I have a history of mental issues, such as a suicide attempt at 17y/o, a record of drug abuse (which is common for people suffering from mental issues related to mind control, ritual abuse and/orneglect), records of visits to various psychiatrists and psychologists throughout my lifetime, including three baker acts, tells me that the judge who did my hearing is indeed crooked, or at least terribly misinformed. I have been made disabled on purpose, with neglect, mental abuse, mind control, and satanic ritual abuse. Now I am targeted as if I am being punished for the way I have been set up in the first place.

Despite my emotional problems related to abuse, up until 4 years ago, I always worked my butt off for every dime I ever earned. That all changed when I began to remember some of the things that happened to me. I became the target for what is now being called “no-touch torture” or electronic harassment. It is well-known in psychological studies that traumatic memories of ritual abuse and mind control often come out in one’s forties. I began to hear voices in my forties, accompanied by memories of abuse, and that is when my life fell apart. Whether diagnosed for PTSD, or for schizophrenia (which seems to be one of the aims of mind control practices- to discredit the victim), either way, they are diagnoses worthy of disability, to say the least, and possibly a criminal investigation to exactly what happened to me. This last note is with the idea in mind that I have implants for crying out loud! Of course, I was denied disability by a judge, who ought to lose her job.

Unfortunately, when I research mind control and ritual abuse, I find that most doctors and law enforcement are a part of this network of destroying lives.

When I began to have memories of certain incidents come back to me, such as an instance of my mother leaving me alone crying in the crib for hours, telling me to “eat shit and die”, or her blowing cigarette smoke in my face (she smoked 3 packs a day), or my uncle blaming me for my Aunt’s heart attack, or being wrapped in a blanket and tossed down the stairs by my brother, to come out of the blanket and find both my parents laughing and pointing their fingers at me, that is when my character was assassinated, I lost my job writing articles, and my whole life commenced falling apart. It seems like I was intentionally discredited, so that I would not be able to get any real help for my situation.

Among people I have spoken with regarding the implants, there seems to be some disagreements as to what these things in my head (through which I hear voices and feel buzzing sensations) are. I have had one person say they are “cutaneous horns”, which I have looked up, and what I have are subcutaneous, so that couldn’t be it. When I did a search for “subcutaneous horns”, I found only photos of “cutaneous horns”. I had a psychologist try to tell me they are keloids, which they obviously are not, since keloids are on the skin, not under it, and since what I havelooks nothing like keloids. By the way, from what I understand, people with keloids do not hear things through them, nor do they feel vibrations through them, and people with cutaneous horns have not mentioned that they hear or feel anything through them either. One other thing of note, regarding my implants, is the fact that if I put my finger in the top part of my ear, on the other side of where the implant is, I can feel a nub there. So the things in my ears are oval shaped, and both ends of them can be felt. This means they go through the cartilage of my ears.

To these people who do not believe me, why doesn’t one of them, or all of them combined, help me get one of these implants taken out of my head, to determine what they really are? Then we could see the truth of the matter. I mean, they ARE the size of RFID tags. Perhaps I haven’t been able to get any help because they do not want the truth to get out. I am forced to assume this, given the circumstances of my character assassination, the loss of my job, the fact that all of my friends and neighbors have been convinced to ignore me.

One example of how my situation clearly looks like a mind control case is that the mirrors used in my programming were everywhere within the home I lived in for the 2nd half of my childhood. There was a mirrored coffee table, mirrored wallpaper, a mirrored pedestal for chrome art, mirrored dressers, mirrored closet doors, mirrored end tables, mirrored switch plates, mirrored cotton ball dispensers, and mirrored art on the walls. Using mirrors is a well-known method of mind control cited in the Springmeier/Wheeler book. Another example is that I had the classic near-drowning at the age of 3, which is common to ritual abuse survivors.

The RFID tags would have been enough, and they have probably been using them my whole life to mess with my head, possibly while I slept. Yet, no one wants to believe it’s possible that this could be happening to me, even though when I was born, in the late 60s, programs of mind control were more than established. Dr. Jose Delgado was able to stop an implanted, charging bull with a remote control in 1963. http://www.wireheading.com/delgado/brainchips.pdf

I had a surgery for cervical dysplasia in 2004, under a general anesthetic. I have had a flashback of something horrible and unthinkable that happened to me during that procedure. It is a flashback because I can see the masked doctor and my mother, I can hear the whirring instrument, I can hear my mother’s voice, and I can hear my own screams while I am being mutilated. I have had a psychologist say to me, “I know you like to tell stories”. To her, I can only hope that one day, she goes through something like this and no one believes her. As a result of this procedure, I now have a condition called vulvodynia, which usually results from trauma to the area. Of course, I have been so far, unable to get it treated. This procedure is most likely why I became afraid of lawn mowers in 2008.

It is my sincere hope that I will be able to find an honorable doctor and/or attorney to help me with my situation. I may not be able to point the finger at any one person and sue them (unles it is the adoption agency that sold me into this horrible experiment), but perhaps I could at least get some decent treatment for my issues, so I can go back to work and lead a normal life.

Some people who read this may assume that I am just trying to get attention. This is false. I am trying to raise a kid while these implants are delivering very malicious messages into my mind. It is a very difficult situation I find myself in. I never dreamed that I was a mind control victim, and I certainly do not wish to be. The only attention I am trying to get is that of an honrable doctor or attorney to help me get one removed so I can get a serial number from it and track down the manufacturer.

It is my fear that I was sold into slavery via this Catholic adoption, just to be implanted at birth, so I could be the subject of this horrible, evil mind control, via these implants, so that I could be made a ritual sacrifice for these evil creatures that should get eaten by their own kind for what they’ve done.

For background info, please see “Here We Are in 2012, and I’m Still Alive” at the following link:

Has anyone noticed that, as newer versions of the bible come out, the term, “Graven Images” has been selectively removed? I believe there is a reason for this. This is a short document about the results of a certain graven image from the tarot, the 12th trump, in 2012. Graven Images are literally “images fraught with danger or harm”. I think the statement in the 2nd commandment of the Decalogue had more than one purpose. It seems that graven images are able to cause all sorts of chaos in the world, through a process that could be referred to as Archetypal Transference. The Lil Wayne video, foreshadowing the Batman movie premier shooting by James Holmes, is an example of how so-called “Graven Images” can have a negative impact on our society. I feel that the second commandment of the Decalogue was either mistranslated, or misinterpreted (selectively interpreted), leaving a part of the meaning out, based on the meaning of the word “graven” as a past participle of the word “grave”. I have seen where certain “graven images” have had effects on others. In the case of the shooting in Aurora, Colorado recently, at a Batman movie premier: the shooter, James Holmes, killed 12 people and injured 71. This event was foreshadowed by a “Lil Wayne” video called, “My Homies Still“, in which he shows 12 skeletons in a movie theatre, amongst live people, while he sings in front of them. Could it be that the “graven image”/image of death caused a vibration to be carried out by some unwitting patsy? Could images of death have impacts on people that are not seen to date, via chaos magic and/or quantum mechanics? This image of the screen shot above was taken from: http://illuminatiwatcher.com/?p=2924.

The images on either side of the screen shot, are two versions of the 12th trump of the Tarot, one is from the Crowley-Harris Thoth deck, while the other is a painting by Ludovica Wing Shuen Price. (Link: http://www.elfwood.com/art/l/u/ludovica/the_hanged_man.jpg.html). Both images seem to illustrate some of what is happening in our world in the years surrounding 2012.

This document is about how symbolism has been used to negatively affect our society, taking away a person’s freewill, without them knowing it. I am no “Bible-thumper”, but I contend that the second commandment is more than a comment on idolatry, and may have been mistranslated to keep people from understanding its original intent. Most people see the word “graven” in the Bible, and say it means “engraven”, as in an engraved image. As noted above, the word “graven” is a past participle of the word, “grave”, and is both noun and adjective. As a noun, a “grave” is a tomb or sepulcher. As an adjective, the word “graven” means (from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/graven): “fraught with danger or harm”, and “somber or dark in hue”. With this in mind, an image of death and/or destruction is a graven image. After much study of the subject of symbolism, I have seen how life imitates art in the most unfortunate ways, due to the large-scale, metaphysical impact of the graven images in the Tarot. I have also seen how it has affected all of us living in the years surrounding 2012. One way I know that I am very close to the truth is that, since I began to understand these things, I became a target for the worst kind of harassment and smear campaign I would have ever thought possible, had I ever conceived of such a thing, before it happened to me. I ask the reader to keep in mind the effects of Tarot symbolism on the human psyche, as they read this. If you have a double digit birthdate, please pay special attention to what is written here. There is a reason why I am being kept from speaking out, why people who say they espouse the truth will not respond to emails, and why I have had my character assassinated.

Archetypal Transference, Chaos Theory, and the Law of Attraction:

I have seen many spiritualists and new-agers speaking of how the manifestation of a certain desire can be achieved by the amplification of a vibration, which occurs when the image or thought of that vibration is repeatedly focused on, causing what is called a feedback loop. This concept of is often discussed in quantum and chaos theories. It is usually spoken of as a way to manifest good things for oneself.

However, I have seen where the repetition of a specific vibration can manifest deleterious effects on people unaware of the precarious position they were placed in, at birth, through the use of various archetypes.

Due to my birthday being 12/12, the graven image that seems to have had a very negative impact on my life is the 12th trump card of the tarot (see images above), showing either a crucified or upside-down figure. The deck that I am most connected to seems to be the Thoth deck, also referred to as “the Crowley deck”, and was originally printed in 1941. In this deck, the figure in the 12th trump, known as “The Dying God” (image at top, left), is not only upside-down, but is also unconscious, having nails on three limbs. The deck is definitely stacked against this character. One foot is tied to an upside-down ankh, which is the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility, that happens to closely resemble the symbol for female, indicating a female life lived in reverse (coincidentally, “live” spelled backwards is “evil”). The position of the serpent at the head of the figure has severely negative connotations, whether it represents the serpent class or Satan himself. To me, this is certainly a “graven image”, that is, it is an image of suffering and/or death. The meaning, usually associated with getting this card in a reading, obscures the truth about what the vibration of that card may do to people born on the 12/12 date. It is related to something called “Archetypal Semiotic Transference”, as written about in Michael Gaio’s article, which can be found online at: http://blog.michaelgaio.com/2011/09/25/archetypal-semiotic-transference/

What it really represents is a form of metaphysical sabotage, creating a form of slavery whereby the victim has his or her intellectual property stolen from them on a subconscious level. The victim never is able to understand why they feel so spiritually depleted, because they are not made aware of it on a conscious level. It becomes a disturbance in the mind, setting the tone for a reversed or inverted sort of life.

The Tarot and Freewill (or Lack Thereof):

As you can see, certain “graven images” have had a weighty impact on my life, simply due to my birthdate being 12/12. Some will say that I am playing a victim. I can assure you it is not by choice. I am not the only person being affected by these images. I know of one other person born on 12/12, and one born on 12/24, experiencing this effect to some degree. I ask you to read this document with the intent to know truth. This document is my proof that I have not been allowed to have real freewill in my life, due to an occult curse that was put on me since I was born. Although I never knew about the Tarot until more recently, it still had powerful effects on me, even in my childhood.

There seems to be some debate about how long the tarot has been in existence in its current form. Most Tarot aficionados say its current manifestation began in the 18th century, while some believe it was the 16th century. In either case, the tarot has been around for more than a couple of centuries, with the 12th trump as The Hanged Man. Attesting to the popularity of the tarot, is the fact that there are over a thousand tarot decks in print today, with untold printings of each deck. While there may be some variations, almost every deck I have seen has the same archetypes in the trump cards, although there are some exceptions. The most notable exception is the Crowley-Harris Thoth deck (with Egyptian, Astrological, and Cabbalistic influences), whereby the 11th trump, which is traditionally the “Justice” card, has been replaced by a card known as “Lust”, and the 8th trump, which is traditionally the “Strength” card, has been replaced by the card known as “Adjustment”. I relate this form of mind control, using the symbolism of the tarot, to the Monarch Program, and other programs of mind control, because those who have power over those who do not, have gotten and continue to get their power through morally reprehensible ways, using occult practices (including the Egyptian Book of the Dead), manipulating symbols that are supposed to be sacred, and causing untold suffering to their victims.

Manipulation of the Ankh (Egyptian Symbol for Life):

Here are two pictures of an Ankh. While there are multiple meanings attached to this symbol, it is the mostly used to represent the word “life” in Egyptian hieroglyphs, and it happens to closely resemble the commonly accepted symbol for female. What does it imply when this symbol is upside-down? Has anyone noticed how, in 2012, life seems to be upside-down? In a so-called free country, laws protecting our freedoms have been severely restricted. The Catholic Church, which is supposed to be a spiritual organization, has been indicted on child-trafficking charges? The Catholic Church, at the Vatican, has eight obelisks, imported from Egypt at Vatican Square, and five ancient Roman obelisks, so they are indeed using symbols of an Egyptian heritage. How spiritual is it to sell children into slavery to be victims of mind control? Is it also possible that the images of the tarot have had some impact on the state of our world, depending on the year? I am reminded of the oft-quoted statement by Michael Ellner: “Just look at us. Everything is backwards; everything is upside down. Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the major media destroy information and religions destroy spirituality.” Is it any surprise that this upside-down state of the world has reached a pinnacle in the year 2012, considering the image of the upside-down person on the 12th trump of virtually every tarot deck, and considering the symbol for life is upside-downin at least two decks, which have rapidly gained in popularity, over the past few years? If everything is upside-down in and around 2012, what happens in 2013? The 13th trump of every deck is the Death card, which is yet another graven image from theTarot. This indicates that those born on 12/12, 12/21, or also 12/24, since the 24 is 12+12, have been metaphorically and metaphysically, close to death.

Law of Attraction and Memes:

If both chaos theory and quantum theory, as applied to metaphysics, illustrate how what you focus on becomes attracted to you, as is discussed in movies like The Secret and What the Bleep Do We Know?, then is it possible to program someone into attracting negative things by using symbolism in negative ways? How can one overcome such an amplified vibrational effect? Is it also possible that, with so many people studying the tarot, do readings for other people, developing their own decks, and so many people repeating the same patterns of symbolism in their versions of the tarot, that those archetypal energies become amplified? I submit that the Tarot aredecks of glorified flash cards, tools used for the apparatus of Mind Control, causing certain negative memes (a term coined by Richard Dawkins) to run rampant in our world. From Wikipedia: “A meme is an idea, behavior or style that spreads from person to person within a culture. A meme acts as a unit for carrying cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through writing, speech, gestures, rituals or other imitable phenomena. Supporters of the concept regard memes as cultural analogues to genes in that they self- replicate, mutate and respond to selective pressures.” The rising popularity of the tarot has allowed certain memes to pervade in our culture, possibly contributing to the negative situation in our world today, where so many of us now lack those freedoms we once took for granted. I should have known things were getting ugly when, on the back of someone’s running shoes, I sawthe image of the ankh, being splayed apart. Did someone have a specific intent in creating that logo? Is someone tearing life apart in that logo? Fertility? Women? I have to wonder how many of these shoes are currently in circulation, and how many people have repeatedly focused on that image, thereby generating a very negative meme. As a meme, that image would cause serious problems in life, given the meaning of such a symbol.

Is there any way to stop these negative memes from replicating in people’s unconscious lives?

Archetypal Transference:

Many people in our society believe that astrology has an impact on people’s lives and personalities. This effect has been seen often when comparing a person with their astrological sign. For example, Scorpios are known to be kind of cruel, while Leos are known to always take center stage in any situation. This effect has been studied at length, but the effect of the Tarot on people is much more subversive and subliminal, and lesser studied. Most people use the Tarot as a guide for telling a person’s future, although C. G. Jung was one person interested in studying the archetypes of the Tarot in relation to one’s psychology, which is where “Archetypal Transference” comes in. Many people believe in what Jung called the “collective unconscious”. Could this be how Archetypal Transference is achieved? With so many people using the Tarot these days, is it possible that these images become more amplified in the collective unconscious? I suggest that this is why I and others born on 12/12 have felt so cursed and mistreated throughout their lives, especially as we have approached the year 2012.

Symbolism in Language:

The First Syllable in the Word, “MUSIC”, 12th Letter of the Greek Alphabet

Lest the reader doubt my understanding of symbolism, please note how the word television is symbolic of “telling a vision” and how the word music (mu and sic being two separate words in the English language) is a combination of the words MU: “12th letter of the Greek alphabet”, and SIC: “as intentionally so written”. This can be viewed as the vibration of the number twelve being “as intentionally so written”. This is symbolism in its most basic form, as found in our everyday language, which has its effects on the most fundamental level, influencing the way we view everything in our lives, including other people. In my life, it seems to have manifested in the profound way music affected me, but then also, it often seems like my own subconscious has also affected much of the popular music in some ways. I say this because so much of the music I am hearing lately reflects things in my own programming. Some other examples of negative symbolism in the language includes words such as Bill, Chill, Mill, which contain the root word “ill”, in them, and Bow, Chow, Sow, which contain the root word “ow”. There are many other examples of this.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies:

I have been living under this archetypal curse my whole life, without ever knowing about the Tarot, and archetypically, my whole life has seemed upside-down. It seems to have caused me to be spiritually sick. I am not the only person born on 12/12 (“a meta-twelve”) who feels like they have been living under a curse. It would be interesting to do a study on those born on double digit birthdates, to see if their lives have related to the corresponding trump card of the Tarot, depending on the deck. For those born on a date such as 1/1, (“meta-one”), the 1sttrump of just about every Tarot deck is the Magi card, which would be advantageous to anyone born on that date. In my case, my having a “meta vibration” has been a curse, having a severe impact on my life, but is connected to more than just my birthday, which had the effect of tying me to the Hanged Man card; my name, which dehumanized me, due to my initials spelling the name of an animal (C.A.T.); and my adoptive mother, who, despite the fact that she never invested any time or love in me to speak of, always berated me and compared me to others in a negative way. These things had what is called a “butterfly effect” (a concept from chaos theory) in my life, hence the image to the right, from

http://www.tigerpixie.com. There was definitely a purpose behind this curse. I cannot help but wonder if this Tarot curse is a way of artificially handicapping a select group of people, somewhat like what is described in the Kurt Vonnegut short story entitled, “Harrison Bergeron”, but in a metaphysical, rather than physical, way? Could I have been involved in the so-called “Monarch Program”? It is a hard truth to avoid, given that I have implants in front of each ear (photos below), and my whole life seems to have been orchestrated. I have found one other person born on my birthdate, who has also said he felt like his whole life was cursed. What must be noted is the effect of “self-fulfilling prophecies” on a person’s life. For example, when I was in the first grade, I scored in the top 2% of my class for IQ, but my mother gave me so much negative reinforcement when I was growing up, that I was lucky to graduate with a C average and a very low self-esteem, thus resulting in a self-fulfilling prophecy. Is it a coincidence that my mother’s maiden name was such that it became “Nay Gaeta” once she got married, and had a “negator” effect on my life? I mean, how many times can you call your child stupid before it begins to take a toll on your child’s IQ, which has already been artificially handicapped by what is illustrated in the below paragraph.

Reversed Polarity:

The following is an example of one way that this curse manifested itself in my life: When I learned how to write, I was made to be right-handed, against my, God-given, natural, inclination to be left-handed. I was a good kid, so when the girl teaching me how to write told that being left-handed was evil, I endeavored to be right-handed, in an effort to make sure I would not end up being evil. Studies in stroke victims have shown that a stroke in the left hemisphere of the brain affects something on the right side of the body, which in turn, shows how one hemisphere of the brain generally controls the opposite side of the body. Having me write against my God-given, natural tendency reversed my polarity, so to speak. This is evident in the fact that I was originally a very positive and loving child, but ended up as a negative punk by my teenage years. I have known several people who were allowed to keep their natural left-handedness, and I found them to have more tenacity, will power, and perseverance, which are gifts that I have found lacking in myself and others that I have met who were naturally left-handed, but were made to learn to write with the right hand. In fact, the people I know who, like me, were originally left handed forced to be right handed, have all the creative tendencies of most lefties, but have blocks that keep them from being able to express their creativity. My being a “lefty turned righty” is a manifestation of the reverse effect of the 12th trump, and it had a negative impact on my life.

I believe this forced change, against ones natural tendency to be left-handed, could have far-reaching implications, which have not truly been studied, to my knowledge. I believe it could possibly alter one’s destiny, and cause someone, who is originally a naturally positive person, to become a very negative one. Since it would obviously take some time for this effect to work on the mind of the child, they would never know why they became so negative, and would wind up blaming themselves for their feelings, thoughts, and behavior, but had they been allowed to retain their natural left-handedness, their life might have ended up quite differently. Taken in combination with what I mentioned earlier, regarding a negative upbringing, it could have disastrous consequences on the development of an individual. This concept doesn’t even take the archetypal memes from the Tarot into account. I see this as a result of my own experiences and observations. Could it really be that difficult a concept to grasp? Did I not take the same psychology classes in school as my peers did? Did I not see the same studies about strokes and the brain that others have?

Perhaps my theory about left-handed people made to be right seems far-fetched. However, I think that the fact that a stroke in the left hemisphere of the brain affects something on the right side of the body is enough to warrant some sort of serious investigation into the subject. Even if only taken on a subliminal and metaphoric level, one has to consider that making someone be right-handed against one’s natural left-handed inclination would be, symbolically and literally, taking someone out of their “right mind”.

Archetypes and the Meta Effect:

I had lived most of my life, lacking any knowledge of archetypes, symbolism, astrology, the Tarot, metaphysics, etc., yet these things still had a huge impact, effecting various events in my life, including, but not limited to: the way my own adoptive mother treated me, the way doctors treated me, the way friends and relatives treated me, and the way employers treated me, despite the fact that I was usually the best producer at my jobs. I always assumed that my negativity was the result of a lack of parenting, or me missing my father’s presence in my life. While those circumstances certainly contributed to my emotional problems, I can see how the archetypes installed in the Tarot had their metaphysical effect, not only on me, but also on my adoptive mother, due to her birthdate being 4/4. I believe it is the double digit birthdates that are the most influenced by the Tarot because they are what I would call “meta” birthdays, and are the most influenced by the trump cards. I use the term “meta” relating to the metaphysical, which means, “beyond the physical”. For example, I would be a “meta-twelve”, and my mother would be a “meta-four”, no pun implied, although metaphorically, her life followed patterns in the 4th trump of the Thoth tarot deck too closely for it to be a mere coincidence, which is why I don’t blame her. I have noticed that those born closest to or on those double digit dates have lives closely reflected in the trumps of the tarot, but also in their corresponding court cards.

The Catholic Church and the Rosy Cross:

The image on the left is from the Hermetic Tarot. It also shows the upside-down ankh, and the serpent above (or below) the head of the figure. On the left of this card is an image of the Rosicrucian Cross, which is very similar to the image on the back of the Thoth deck. Given the word Rosicrucian means “Rosy Cross”, and their affiliation with the Catholic Church, it does not surprise me that, as stranger actually yelled out to me in the street in 2009, that I could’ve been sold into slavery. I believe that is very possible I was sold via my adoption though Catholic Charities, just to be made into a ritual sacrifice. While I cannot blame Catholic Charities directly, it becomes hard for me to deny that such a thing could’ve happened to me, especially when you realize that many people sell their children into experimental programs, and many agencies have been caught in child trafficking. In this card, from the Hermetic Tarot, is the trident symbol for Neptune, which is usually associated with the devil. Since my astrological planet is Jupiter, the fact that there is a symbol for Neptune in the 12th trump of this deck, tells me that someone purposely put the energy of Neptune near the already upside-down figure. The fact that I had a near drowning at 3 years old, and that many ritual abuse and monarch program victims experience a near drowning at that exact age, tells me that it is no stretch of the imagination to consider that I am the victim of ritual abuse, chosen precisely because of my birthdate, in connection with the various occurrences of that number in our culture, in the Bible, and in the Tarot. It is my understanding that the ritual drowning at 3 years old is done to open the child up to spirits and demons. There are over 1,000 Tarot decks in existence today, with untold printings of each deck. In terms of quantum mechanics, the sheer number of those cards, with that upside-down vibration, would amplify the energy of that vibration, possibly affecting anyone born on this date, even if intent wasn’t involved. However, if someone intentionally used occult magic to tie an unwitting victim to specific cards and/or decks of the Tarot, while keeping the victim unaware of it, except on a subconscious level, the victim would inadvertantly attract negativity, never understanding the reason. They would always feel like something was terribly wrong in life, never really being able to pin point why. I cannot avoid the reality about the state of our world, regarding how natural resources are stolen from one country by another, and how corporations steal ideas and harm people, it is not too far of a jump to imagine someone using occult magic on a person, in order to cause a state of misery, thereby generating compelling and creative ideas in the subconscious to be gleaned from the victim and channeled to certain supported people in the music, television, and movie industries. It fits right in with the way so many very wealthy people have attained their wealth by profiting from other people’s suffering. If I had never seen these cards until my late thirties, how did they have such a strong impact on my personal life? Could it have something to do with Chaos Theory, Quantum Mechanics, and/or the Collective Subconscious?

The Fool:

If a person born on 1/1 has the attributes of the Magi card, a person born on 12/12 has the attributes of the Hanged Man card (renamed “The Dying God” in the Thoth deck), and a person born on 4/4 has the attributes of the Emperor, then what birthdate comes closest to representing the Fool, whose number is 0? Could the 12/12, being the highest meta-birthdate on the current calendar, also be the fool? Could the vibration of the Fool card also manifest itself in the person born on 1/1, being the next meta-birthdate after the 12/12? What is odd to me is that many of the items displayed on this card apply to various issues in my life. In this image, I see the following items: the dove, which is supposed to mean “peace”, which is what I was trying to achieve; the horns, representing the implants in my head; the monarch butterfly, which should be obvious to he read, as it represents the Monarch program of mind control; the bluebird, representing the Bluebird mind control project and/or project Bluebeam; the sun right at the crotch, representing the burning/electrocution sensations in that area I suffer from; the DNA/lizard/winged disk, which has to do with everything I had been learning about, including that darned tattoo on my back; the character holding the crystal because I used to study crystals and work with them for energy healing; also holding the wheat, representing when I was learning about herbs ad their medicinal value; the bag of runes, which I had just begun to learn about; the gator at bottom, representing my mother whose maiden name was Gaeta; the grapes, representing either grapes of wrath or wine or both; the Tiger biting the leg, which is really strange because I have sensations on the left leg, as if something is biting or pinching me there; the flowers I don’t want to discuss; the two babies at the bottom represent two people enjoying the results of the pain I am suffering from, which from what I understand, are freemasons who have what is called “full access to the seether”, thus making me “the seether”. Those two babies are babies because they refuse to see the truth of how they are accessing their inspiration.

The OTO, the Cabbala, and the Rosy Cross:

When I lost everything, I was just beginning to really make an effort to make a positive change in my life. Knowing that I had serious, but subconscious issues in my life, I had to look inside myself to uncover what went wrong in my life, so that I could try to correct myself, not knowing about the curse I had been living under. Not satisfied with the way I was raised, I was determined to be better to my daughter, than my mother had the ability to be to me. It seems cruelly ironic that my whole life fell completely apart when, and the way, it did. It happened at a point when I first began to learn, apophatically, how I wanted to raise my own child, and it also happened right at the point that I began to have memories surface of the way I was mistreated. So that, when I made a conscious effort to become a better mother, my child was taken away from me, as if some force did not want me to change the negative pattern that had been set into motion long before I was even born. It seems like there has always been some force in my life, making sure that would never have a fair shot in life, tying me to this particular deck of cards, which sadly enough have the Rosicrucian Cross on the back of each card. To me, it seems obvious why the left arm of the cross is blue, and the right is red. Taken on a political level, the connotation is obvious. Taken on a verbal level, well, that connotation is obvious as well.

Here is a photo of the actual Rosicrucian Cross, which represents the struggle I am currently going through. While it obviously has some Christian symbolism behind it, I can see a Cabbalistic influence in the bottom, by the colors, as related to Malkuth. At the risk of sounding a bit vulgar, I must mention this in current terms, i.e. the word mal meaning: Both crosses show blue on the left (right to the viewer), and red on the right, implying that red is “right”, and blue is “wrong”. So while the OTO, to which Crowley belonged, has the bottom of the cross as navy in color, the RC cross shows the same area as green, brown, olive, and black, which are the colors of the lowest sphere, kingdom, in the cabbala, which is Malkuth. Consider that name, and what the first syllable “mal” which carries a negative meaning (“bad, wrongful, or ill” from http://dictionary.reference.com) in almost every word in which it is the root, at least in the English language, which is the most accepted, language spoken, in most countries. Incidentally, one of the spheres of the Kabbalistic Tree is called “Chokmah”, which phonetically denotes a malefic intent, as in “choking ma”. What I think people don’t understand is the phonetic symbolism involved in mind control, in addition to symbolism. I remember an author, M. Tsarion, speaking of the group called the Atonists in relation to the number 10, which makes me think of how the Kabbalah shows the kingdom, Malkuth, as the 10th sphere (connotating that the atonists are ruling the so-called “kingdom”, a scary thought indeed); however it is still at the bottom. In the Cabalistic Tree there are either ten or eleven spheres. They often omit the 11th sphere, called Da’ath, which is connected to Knowledge. I have to wonder if they, like those who instigated the event on 9/11 which destroyed the twin towers in NY, as well as tower 7 (a number associated with God and luck), were involved in this, specifically because they do not want justice (the traditional 11th trump of the tarot) or knowledge to exist in our world. Considering how I have become targeted, I have to wonder if everyone involved in my targeting also feels this way- like they want no justice. The 11th sphere in the Cabalistic Tree of Life represents knowledge. Perhaps those targeting me, those involved in my smear campaign, do not want either knowledge (truth) or justice to prevail.

Missing God:

I had been missing God in my life, as well as my parents, and I had become a rather negative and dark teenager, which I believe, opened me up to something very negative. Because of my parent’s behavior, which contradicted the tenets of the bible, I grew up very confused about God. We went to church, but only until my parent’s divorce when I was 8 or 9 years old. Throughout my childhood, my parents were rarely around, leaving me in the care of various nannies, while my parents were still married, and left alone after their divorce, making me easily influenced by others, especially men. Untrusting of the Bible in general, due to its treatment of women, I had an overall, mistrust of religion. My state of misery in life led me to believe that perhaps God hated me and cursed me himself. After learning about the Tarot, specifically the 12th trump, and its uncanny connection to my life, which has been metaphorically upside-down, events and situations in my life began to make sense. I no longer believe that God has cursed me, and in fact, might’ve tried to protect me via the Bible, with the commandment regarding, “Graven Images”. It seemed to me like this had been done to me on purpose, to make me some sort of a sacrifice, because of what this curse eventually led me to do.

MK Ultra and the Serpent in the Tarot:

Ironically, when I consider my situation, I am reminded of a couple of songs by the band, aptly named “Muse”. These songs are “MK Ultra”, which describes a specific mind control program, and “Unnatural Selection”, because it seems like I was selected at birth, via a catholic adoption, so that my whole life could be engineered to keep me down, upside-down, and unconscious, unnaturally, so that some others could benefit from the emotional turmoil generated by such a state. I was being mentally and emotionally drained for real, meanwhile, I would see others being gifted with my own thoughts and feelings, and would watch them profit from my suffering. The image to the right, while not from a deck, is a painting done by Ludovica Wing Shuen Price, which seems to illustrate what I have been going through. Her work can be found here: http://www.elfwood.com/art/l/u/ludovica/the_hanged_man.jpg.html. Again, we see an upside-down ankh, the Egyptian symbol for life and fertility. The serpent, connected to the head of the Hanged Man card (the 12th trump) in at least 2 tarot decks, seems to have allowed either the serpent class, or Satan himself, to have direct access to my subconscious mind, on a metaphysical level. The fact that I have seen so many movies and television (tell-a-vision) shows, and have heard so many songs that have an uncanny relation to aspects of my life, tells me that this could very well be the case, regardless of how bizarre this may seem. While I love the music and the movies that show some of my own story (because it’s never the whole story), it still makes me angry to have been stolen from in this metaphysical way. So much has been stolen from me, that no monetary award could ever pay it back, although it sure would help.

It seems to me that Crowley and Harris, the creators of the Thoth tarot deck, and those who followed some of their patterns, were the cause of what could be a type of metaphysical slavery, caused by chaos magic, whereby the serpent (or serpent class), who is placed at the head of the victim in the 12th trump, has unauthorized access to all creative ideas and inspiration, brought about by the upside-down condition of the victim in this card, to be used and changed anyway the serpent/thief sees fit (through music, movies, and/or television), to make it less obvious to the victim that it represents some aspect of his or her life. Given what people now know about the amplification of a vibration, is it any wonder that someone born on 12/12 would have issues? What is worse is the fact that my numerology has me as an 11, which is supposed to be a so-called “master” number, but if your birthdate is 12/12 (which pushes the upside-down or reversed position), it becomes a bad combination. In the Tarot, the 11th trump was normally the “Justice” card, but in the Thoth deck it was changed to “Lust”. While I cannot point to the reason that I have been so closely tied to the Thoth deck, it seems to have had its impact on my life as well as my mother’s (4/4).

Metaphysical Rape Plus Implants Equals Scapegoat:

What is mentioned in the above paragraph, if even remotely applicable, is tantamount to what could be called “mind rape”, and is what I refer to as a “Meta Crime”. Yet, it is not the worst result of the precarious situation in which I was placed, at my birth and without my knowledge. The most disturbing effect of the circumstances of my life is that my turmoil eventually led me to do exactly what mind control, via programming and occult magic, had set me up to do. Before I continue, I must mention that I have discovered what I can only believe are possibly RFID implants (images below), one in front of each ear, because I am now hearing voices and receiving some sort of energetic vibrations through them. Is it possible that these two nodules in front of each ear helped to push me over the edge, by being conduits for subliminal messages, influencing my mind during my sleep? Was it not enough that I was living under this curse my whole life? It is a miracle that I didn’t end up much worse than I did. I say this at a time when, while there are actual murderers and rapists running free, private people who aren’t breaking any laws are now being electronically harassed and targeted by directed energy weapons. In this way, 2012 is turning out to be an upside-down year indeed. Below are photos of my RFID implants, which possibly helped to put me in the miserable situation I now find myself in today. Since I have discovered these implants, I have become a target of the most hideous nightmare, making me wonder if I was some unwitting participant in a government mind control program, whereby they were used to input subliminal messages into my mind during my sleep, possibly triggering me to do things that I wouldn’t have done, had I not been mind controlled.

As you can see from the first two images, these implants cannot be seen until I lightly pull back on my ear. Voices coming through these implants tell me that I am a demon or the devil himself, saying that these things are horns. Well, if anything, I was made a scapegoat at birth, sold into slavery via a Catholic adoption, implanted, so that some nefarious force could then manipulate me into being emotionally damaged, and get those around me to believe that I am something I’m not: evil. I have had a professional psychologist try to tell me these things in my ears are keloids, but keloids are scars that are raised above the skin. Here is a photo to prove my point.

If they are implants, when were they implanted? If they aren’t implants, then what are they? I have heard voices coming through them since 2008, however, I have no idea of how long they have been there, and so they may have been influencing me on a subliminal level my whole life. Since I was held in custody of the agency for the first 6 weeks of my life, they may have been implanted very shortly after my birth. I was allowed to play in the woods by myself at the ages of 6 and 7, so I could have been abducted for the procedure during that time. It might have happened when I had my wisdom teeth removed when I was 17 years old, under a general anesthetic. However, it could have occurred much later, during a dental surgery in 2001 or during a cervical cone biopsy in 2004, both under general anesthetic. That being said, I believe I would have felt some pain in the area if they were put in at any time other than my birth. They say that babies don’t feel pain at birth. I believe this is a lie, and the truth is that babies feel pain and repress the memory of it. At any rate, it is very possible that I was under some form of post hypnotic suggestion when I made the gravest mistake of my life, for which I am continually begging God for forgiveness, on the grounds that I was not in my right mind when I did it.

My Gravest Mistake, Done While Searching for God:

What was the gravest mistake of my life? Dare I say it? I preface the admonition with the desire for the True and Just God to know everything behind such a rash decision: the fact that I felt so separated from God throughout my life; the fact that I had previously undergone certain traumas which had been repressed in my memory, but obviously had the effect of torturing my mind on the subconscious level; the fact that I was living under an occult curse my whole life; the fact that I was held in custody of Catholic Charities for the first 6 weeks of my life, causing attachment disorder; the fact that my God-given natural left-handedness was taken away from me; the fact that I never had any stable caregivers in my youth; the fact that I spent the second half of my childhood in a virtual “house of mirrors”; the fact that I was suffering from an attachment disorder caused by my adoption and the lack of parental influence; the fact that my own mother had me selling hotdogs at construction sites in a bikini, when I was 14 years old; the fact that I was raped when I was 16 years old by a man who was 21; the fact that my mother allowed me to be prosecuted for a crime I didn’t commit when I was 17; the fact that I had been mistreated by authorities and medical professionals throughout my life; the fact that I was implanted without my knowledge or consent; and the fact that I was overburdened with too many responsibilities, in an unaffordable and chaotic house after my daughter was born, which is when it happened… all of these things had an influence on causing me to make a huge mistake in my life, that would change everything. I bring these things to the surface in an effort to prove to God why I deserve forgiveness.

Of course, there are other variables involved in my decision. I was involved in an online spiritual group, which I now see was not quite that spiritual. I joined the group because I had been learning about Reiki and other energy healing modalities. It was called “Wingmakers for Humanity/Masters of the Shamballa 1024” (which is no longer active), and the leader, named June, was some sort of spiritual predator, who, after I had been in the group for about a year, posted that she was altering people’s merkabas and using a technique known as “mind-bending”. At one point, she even said she was “harvesting souls”, which is downright evil. Since then, I have heard of an online group known as “Freedom from Mindbenders”, which is now also no longer active (at my last check), which concerns me. I have to note here, that almost every female in that group was suffering from some sort of chronic pain. While in her group, this woman was sensitizing people to programming in movies, said she was doing energy work on people like Hillary Clinton (when she was running for president), and was encouraging members of the group to judge people for their behavior.

I had been searching for God, and reading all these things on the internet about how Enki was this Sumerian deity who loved human beings and wanted to help us. I had read an abundance of information, which convinced me, in my chaotic state, that the name “Satan” was a name given to the true God, by the false religion of Christianity, which has the history of The Crusades, in which people were tortured and murdered for their beliefs. I had also read about a location in the Middle East that was actually called “Satan”. Given that my whole life had been engineered by some very nefarious forces, to be aligned with the Thoth tarot without my knowledge, I was confused and easily misled. I signed a contract with this entity, believing that he would help human beings, including myself, to reach a connection with God. It seems to me that knowledge was kept from me my whole life by cursing me in this way, so they could later get me to sell myself out, by using symbolic and predictive programming, knowing that I would be seeking out the God I felt I had been missing my whole life.

I believe that none of this would have happened, had I not been so metaphysically tied to that tarot deck, and had I not been implanted with RFID chips in my ears, allowing for subliminal messaging. There are too many images in that deck that relate to my life in very specific ways for it to have been an accident. This is why I feel it was an occult curse put on me, as a newborn. Considering the fact that there is a serpent at the head of the figure on the 12th trump, tells me that someone knowingly allowed Satan to influence me throughout my life, without my knowledge. I have been told that Satan cannot “steal” souls, but this is certainly what has happened in my case. This is why I am appealing to the True and Just God of the Universe, the one who loves truth, to see every one of the circumstances in my life that led me down the negative path, and to allow me into heaven, or at the very least, to not allow me to go to hell.

My Mother, The Emperor:

My mother was born on 4/4, and her birthdate tied her to the 4th trump of the Thoth deck, specifically. This image of the 4th trump shows various people in her life, symbolized by the figures surrounding the main figure, who is “The Emperor”. The two rams behind the figure represent the two Aries in my mother’s life, who supported her. My grandmother died and is shown in the transparent ram, while my father was still alive when my mother died, and is shown by the more opaque ram. The two, eight-point stars on either side of the emperor figure represent my brother and my cousin, both born on 8/4. The lamb at her feet must represent me, because I supported certain causes, such as the baby harp seals, and the environment when I was young, and this is shown by the flag. The ball in the emperor’s hand is represented in my mother’s life by the fact that she was an avid, trophy-winning bowler. This is a powerful figure, and my mother had power in her life, seemingly attracting whatever she needed. Near the end of her life, she was driving a Cadillac, bought for her by an ex-boyfriend. In this card, she is looking away from me, and I am on the floor, at her feet, symbolic of how she always put me down, even as a small child, but never invested much time in me, to help me grow up to become someone she could be proud of. Is it a coincidence that the figure on the 12th trump has their legs folded in the position of the number four? Is the poor victim in the 12th trump trying to tell people that the Emperor is responsible? If my mother never saw these cards, or was not an adept in the occult, how did they have such an exacting impact on her life? Could it have something to do with the sheer number of these decks in print, in relation to the collective consciousness?

The Devil was Screwing Me (Pardon my French):

The following is another example of how this Tarot curse manifested in my life: I was an aspiring artist, who had enough talent to be given an art scholarship by the instructors at the school I was attending. Given the fact that my initials spell CAT, I find it cruelly ironic that my career and my life were destroyed by a fellow student with the last name of “Skinner”, when she introduced me to a drug called heroin. I would eventually see her steal my ideas, and use them for her own advancement. Additionally strange is how this person, who helped to destroy my career, looks suspiciously like the person on one of the three Magi cards of the Thoth deck. The card I am speaking of, to the right, is the one with a woman standing behind an image of a winged disk, so that it is directly in front of her crotch. The winged disk looks suspiciously like a tattoo I have on my back, which alludes to the fact that this woman “screwed” me. When I got the tattoo done, I had not yet been aware of the winged disk or its connection to Egyptian or Sumerian lore. Was I mind controlled into getting that tattoo, so that it could be used against me later?

With that in mind, and the way the 12th trump of the same deck has the serpent connected to the head of a victim, please take a look at the next image with the consideration of an intended satanic influence over a victim’s mind. This image is the 15th trump of the Thoth deck, which is called “The Devil” card. To the left of this card is a shadow that strangely reminds me of the Millenium Falcon in the Star Wars movies, and to the right, is a shadow that reminds me of a pose I have seen of Kate Bush, wherein she is perched upon something in just such a position. The winged disk, which looks suspiciously like to my tattoo, is directly in front of the devil character. Regardless of the meanings of these cards in a personal Tarot reading, each time someone sees these cards, as with any image or symbol, the deeper, metaphysical meaning of it is subconsciously inserted into the mind. This is what might have happened to James Holmes when he saw the Lil Wayne Video of his song appropriately called, “My Homies” (photo at top of document). This concept then begs the question: “Is it possible that every time someone views these cards, they also go into the collective subconscious, along with their intended subversive meaning, created by an occult theocracy?”

Abandoned, and The Trauma Begins:

Things had been looking up in 2008, or so I thought. After a lifetime of disappointments, including the loss of my art career, I was finally finding my niche, or so I thought. I was writing articles for a company that sold crystals on the internet, a job which I truly loved, even though I wasn’t paid what most article writers were getting at the time. While most people writing articles on the internet were getting up to $700.00 per article, I was lucky to get, at most, $60.00. Still, I loved and appreciated my job very much, and it allowed me to stay home with my daughter, who was around 2 years old when I started that job.

In less than two years, everything came crashing down, and I found myself living in a foreclosed house, with no power or water, in acute and constant physical pain. The cause of this was the fact that in 2008, I began to hear voices that told me I was a kind of “Virgin Mary” and that I would receive an immaculate conception from God (funny how I played the Virgin Mary in a school Christmas pageant when I was around 7 years old). I know it sounds crazy, but given those photos of the implants in my head, it doesn’t seem so crazy anymore. At one point, I actually could feel something inside of me, making me believe it had actually happened, but was told that an archangel did it to me. Was I programmed by the Catholic religion, when I was too young to remember, for this to happen to me later in life? Like a fool, I began to tell certain people that I thought it was really happening. Of course they all thought I was crazy. The voice told me that it would come and get me, but that eventually, we would all get together again, with our correct soul-mates. My packing my things in preparation for this was what pushed Jerome over the edge and made him have me Baker Acted. I found myself in a state-run mental facility. I felt like my mind was falling apart. Jerome would try to have me locked up three times, which would then cost me my job.

My psychosis was artificially induced by these voices through the implants. Later, after being abandoned in that house, the voice would then convince me that I was some kind of Jesus and had to be sacrificed. Then they would tell me I was an angel. All of that reminds me now of a band called “Jesus and the Mary Chain”. When that was happening, I was not yet aware of the occult curse, under which I had been living, and how it caused me to make the gravest mistake of my life. Once Jerome left, the house went into foreclosure, the power and water eventually were shut off. I was then only able to see my daughter once a month.

As I lived in that house, with no power or water, for at least 2.5 years beginning at the end of 2008, I was suffering the worst pain of my life. During the first 3 months of it, I was literally on the floor screaming. The pain started in September, and in October, I went to a neighbor’s house to call an ambulance. It was at this point, when I began to notice how people in the medical profession were mistreating me, and had been, even when I was younger. Apparently, I had sublimated those memories, because I didn’t want to believe that my whole life had been orchestrated in this way. In the emergency room, that day, I was told that, although I didn’t have a venereal disease, they were going to treat it like one and send me home.

At that time, I was going to a clinic, to try to get some help. I was in solid pain, and in order to get rides, I had to kiss one of my neighbors, which was debasing. Sometimes, marijuana would help my pain, but the only way I could get some was to kiss a neighbor. Currently, I am not on any type of pain relievers and refuse to do anything illegal, despite my severe and constant pain.

While I was living in the foreclosed house, I had to collect rain water in storage bins, to keep myself relatively clean. I could only eat items that did not need to be refrigerated, and kept a few things that were refrigerated at neighbor’s houses. When I did cook, I had to use a gutted toaster oven, with the pan or pot on top, and a fire of newspaper and tree limbs inside the gutted part. In the hottest weather, I had to wear only bra and underwear with windows wide open to ward off heat exhaustion. Who knows who might’ve been peering in those windows. In the coldest weather, I had to sleep with at least twenty candles burning, to keep from freezing. I inhaled allot of smoke during those times, and suffered a great deal of trauma, including the event where I was terrorized by a helicopter for a solid half an hour in the middle of the night. I would collect decent items that were being thrown out to sell at garage sales to make a few bucks to survive off of. Once in a while, on the coldest nights, a neighbor would let me stay on his couch, but only if I kissed him, which was humiliating and added to the traumatic effect of the whole experience.

It was during this time that I was hearing voices, making me believe that God was talking to me. I was so miserable at that time because I felt abandoned by everyone. My own mother wouldn’t let me come and stay with her. I am not blaming her, because I know people thought I was crazy. I heard a voice tell me to purchase the Thoth Tarot, which I did after some garage sales to work up the money. When I began to look at those archetypes, I realized that my whole life seemed cursed by them. As I mentioned above, it is as if all those decks, with their archetypal memes being digested by all those people, further infected the collective unconscious and intensified the Hanged Man’s deleterious effect on me in the more recent years. I see this as one of the biggest reasons why the Bible states “No Graven Images”: Because these graven images become archetypes, which then engraved onto the collective unconscious, and effectively destroy (or at least hinder) many people’s freewill. Unfortunately, most people do not read the commandment that way.

It was also during that time when I felt like something was etherically raping me. It seemed to do something to my mind. The voice told me it loved me and would come to rescue me soon. I don’t know if I was being poisoned, if the implants were working on my subconscious mind during my sleep and my conscious mind when I was awake, or how they were able to mess my head up so much, but they did. Every day while I was living in absolute poverty with hardly any money to my name, I would hear the voice of someone I truly admired saying they were coming to rescue me. It was always, “I’ll be there tomorrow, I promise”, or “I’m coming tonight, don’t worry”, but the rescuer never showed, and I felt more and more like committing suicide, but knew that I couldn’t. So it seems in my case, mind control had been done on me using both the occult and technology.

I Hope God Loves the Truth:

Given what has happened and what is still happening to me, I feel I am being attacked by demonic entities, yet part of me thinks that this isn’t about God, religion, demons, or about anything spiritual. I say this because the Bible speaks of God loving the Truth. If this were true, then I would not be suffering in this way right now. If God really does love the truth, then that being would not allow me to suffer eternally because of what some very cruel and adept people designed, using the tarot. It is very possible that the conspiracy theorists are correct in that there is a certain portion of the population that is being culled, sold at birth, often through adoption, as sacrifices to some very nefarious beings out there. By putting implants in our heads, they could easily influence us throughout our sad lives, on a subliminal level, during our sleep, so that we would never have any tangible proof of the fact that we have been victims of some very evil program. We were selected at birth, to be cursed and mistreated, so that we would eventually become negative, so that certain people could then justify writing us off later on, handing our names over to those they call “gang-stalkers”. I have come to this conclusion after being in contact with several individuals, who have been suffering just as I have, who have spoken about their parents, being overheard having meetings with some people who then argued about said child, behind closed doors. I personally am aware that my adoptive father had some secretive dealings, in which he would turn off the dome light in the vehicle, before opening the door to get out for a meeting with someone, which tells me this might be the case for me as well. This tells me that the so-called game was always fixed, and that certain people were allowed to reap benefits from those of us who were suffering at the hands of the occult theocracy, which used occult, metaphysical strategies, in addition to orchestrating circumstances in the victim’s life, such as, dealing with authorities and doctors.

In my case, my interactions with authorities included a record from my life that was supposed to have been expunged, since I had met all the requirements in order to do so, yet years later, I found that it had not been expunged. Regarding doctors, I remember seeing a doctor who gave me a pelvic exam for stomach problems, and then left the speculum in for 45 minutes, while he left the exam room. More recently, I went to the emergency room for severe pelvic pain, and they recorded “belly pain”.

Beginning to notice a pattern here?

The Vatican denies there is any negative intent involved in the use of this upside-down symbol (of course), by saying it represents the crucifixion of St. Peter, however, it is my contention that the use of this symbol in this position, which is seen by millions of people who visit the pope, exemplifies and amplifies the upside-down nature of religion in general, but especially when it is an organization so involved in child-trafficking as the Catholic Church is. Being adopted through a Catholic agency, and knowing how the Catholic church has been indicted recently for child-trafficking, I cannot ignore the possibility that I was indeed sold into slavery to be some part of a very nasty plan, designed to keep certain people from having any true freewill, which means that the contract I signed was not done of my freewill, and therefore, I cannot legally or spiritually, be held liable. The ends do not justify the means, in my opinion, and it goes against God’s will and/or natural law, in that human beings are supposed to have freewill, a quality that I was never truly given.

There are those in this world who speak of “Christ consciousness”. What happens when one tries to embody such a thing? While much of my life was lived negatively, as a result of this whole upside-down vibration enforced upon me with intent, when I did truly try to embody this thing called “Christ consciousness”, something, some energy came in, as if to try to stop me from being the good I so wanted to be.

Double Bind – Double Cross:

There is something common in mind control programming called a “double-bind”. From Dictionary.com: “Psychology- it is a situation in which a person is given conflicting cues, especially by a parent, such that to obey one cue is to disobey the other.” From www.laingsociety.org: “A second variation of the double bind involves a situation in which a person is chastised for a correct perception of the outside world. In this situation the child will learn to distrust his own sensory awareness in favor of the parent’s assessment of the situation. One example would be the child who is raised in a violent household but is expected to see his parents as loving and peaceful. In later life this person will have a difficult time determining how to behave appropriately in a variety of situations. Indeed, this person will spend an inordinate amount of energy trying to decipher exactly how he “should” interpret the situation.”

For more information on how symbolism has been used to destroy lives, please see Michael Tsarion’s video entitled, “The Subversive Use of Sacred Symbolism”. Then please notice how the person delivering the lecture is wearing a double cross, and what that might mean. In this lecture, he states that studying the tarot can both help and harm people. By studying what are truly graven images, these people are amplifying an energy that sacrifices people who do not deserve to be sacrificed. They may not even realize what is happening, for all I know. Keep in mind, that while I greatly admire his work on one hand, I now have a deep mistrust of those with any amount of authority, even if only on an intellectual level.

Life on Life’s Terms Without Freewill:

I would add to this, that there is a fundamental double-bind problem in the Bible, for any Christians who think that believing in Jesus as the “son of God” will save them. The Torah has set rules for living, including ritual blood sacrifice. Christians believe that Jesus was the last blood sacrifice, and there is no need for the practice anymore. Therefore, the person who is being triggered constantly by monarch-type programming, to believe that they are a ritual sacrifice, might feel that the way things are set up is unfair, and that they have not been granted freewill. This feeling will be called blasphemy by those involved in gang-stalking or using electronic harassment against the victim, using the bible as the standard. The victim of a set-up, such as the 12th trump could have never truly had freewill because their whole life has been upside-down, making it impossible for them to “live life on life’s terms” so-to-speak, because life’s terms have been completely skewed for them, which makes this a DOUBLE-BIND. Having a person metaphorically and metaphysically upside-down, allowing the serpent to drain them of the fruits of their labor (being attached to their head), is slavery on a level unknown to those who are not adept in the occult.

The Tarot, with the 12th trump, also advocates such a thing, especially in the Thoth, and Hermetic decks, where there is a serpent (representing the serpent class), sucking all creativity and inspiration out of the head of the upside-down person, which ends up in multiple songs, T.V. shows, movies, in various forms.

In the Thoth deck, the 12th trump is also called “The Dying God”. Does this show a Neitzche-esque negative and subversive occult intent?

For more information on the use of symbolism in mind control, please see Michael Tsarion’s video on the subject, with discerning eyes. While he brings attention to a serious subject, I differ from his point of view regarding
a few things, the most notable being A) the Egyptian hieroglyph for female is
most certainly not an image of a serpent (which is what I have seen him say in
one of his lectures, rather it is an image of a female, sitting down; and B)
the tarot could not have influenced the Torah, since the tarot has only been
around since the 1600s at the earliest, and the Torah is believed to have been
written around 1450 BCE. The image to the right is the High Priestess card from the Rider-Waite deck, which was first published in 1901. That being said, the video, “The Subversive Use of Sacred Symbolism”, which can be found on YouTube, is packed with information about symbolism, which is how I first became aware of the symbolic aspect of Mind Control. As a result of the so-called “sacred” symbolism of the Tarot, I have found that my life lacked any true freewill. I have to ask myself the following question: Did the amplified vibration of the Tarot, due to so many printings of these graven images, in relation to my birthday and my numerology cause me to become reversed from my natural tendencies, even as a child (i.e. lefty turned right)? It certainly had an effect on my mother. At the risk of being labeled by those who support astrology and Tarot, it seems to me that, for anyone to truly have freewill, we would have to abolish both the Tarot as well as the astrological signs as applied to birthdates, to avoid the unnatural archetypal transference that seems to infect many. While they may indeed be interesting works of art, I have seen how they had negative effects on me as well as others. Looking back on my own life, I know that I created some very angry and therefore ugly art, possibly as a direct result of being metaphorically upside-down. So, as a result of the graven images that affected me, I also created graven images, for which I am truly sorry. An interesting side note here is that my original sign would have been Ophiuchus, which is a very strong sign, and had it not been removed from the zodiac, I might have had more of a chance against this curse.

A Remedy, Anyone?:

So what is the remedy for such a thing? I have read numerous articles stating that freewill is an illusion. In my case, this certainly seems true. I have been suffering as a result of my lacking any true freewill, due to the graven images of the Tarot. If there is no freewill, then a reasonable, true, and just God would not hold the victim of such a curse responsible for their reactions to this curse. In fact, I would venture to say that the reactions were involved in the agenda for creating the Tarot in the first place. Creating, and placing such importance on, these archetypes would seem to destroy freewill with pervasive memes. I would hope that in the end of it all, all would be forgiven, since no one, especially living in the years surrounding and including 2012, which have been affected by the negative memes resulting from possibly millions of printings of the 12th trump, the Hanged Man, or Dying God in the Thoth deck.

Despite the facts surrounding my adoption through a catholic agency and the fact that the Catholic Church has been indicted for child trafficking, I have so far been unable to get any help from so-called victims advocate groups online. There seems to be a great deal of money in making people into ritual sacrifices, because it seems like every official or representative has been bought off in some way, to keep people like me from getting any real help. I seem to be living in some sort of occult nightmare, in which those people, who are in positions to help people like me, do not care to do so.

By the way, this:

Is also this:

I welcome any suggestions for a remedy, given my situation. What I am suffering is not unlike what the hero is going through in the book called, “Tales of the Ubermensch”, which can be found here: http://www.talesoftheubermensch.com