Juggling Multiple Women

Relationships, even the freedom-oriented ones, are based on give-and-take and a solid sense of equality. So if you’re planning to date several women at once, don’t get all bent out of shape when she dates several men; by playing the field, you’re giving her the license to do the same. In fact, it may be in your best interest to actually encourage such behavior… provided it’s subtle. You’re equals in everything, and if you’re going to shop around, so can she. It’s simply a matter of keeping everything pointed in the right direction. If both of you are stepping out with other partners two weekends a month, it’s highly unlikely either of you is looking for something serious.

Be vigilant across the board

You can juggle multiple casual relationships, but you cannot juggle them if even one of them is remotely serious. You can’t let it slide into the commitment area at any time or you’re completely screwed. Keep it casual with every woman at all times; if you don’t, you’re just asking for a colossal catastrophe. One five-minute heart-to-heart and everything comes crashing down, leaving you sitting at square one, surrounded by at least one former girlfriend who hates your guts. The good news is you do have a great deal of control here.

It’s not hard to determine when a woman starts pushing for a committed partnership. Your aforementioned subtle hints regarding a casual relationship begin falling on deaf ears, and she’s suggesting a week-long excursion to an exotic island location. She’s sick of the clubs and trendy restaurants, and she’s suddenly taken a liking to those little out-of-the-way spots with a single candle in the center of a very small table. It’s time for you to step in and either: A. Reinforce that initial “freedom” concept or B. Cut loose with the generic yet polite “We’re just looking for different things.”

Continually reinforce the benefits of the situation

Without being too obvious, subtle hints regarding your very casual and free-wheeling relationship situation can go a long way. Make it clear how satisfied you are with two things: 1. Her and 2. How you two relate to each other. You don’t have the encumbrances of fights, family, big life decisions, and so on. Don’t let her think — even for a second — that a commitment might be better or you’ll be facing an awfully slippery downhill slope. Make sure to remind her how happy you are with everything and how much you enjoy the “no strings” theory.

Don’t overextend yourself

Okay, so you’ve managed to land three girls to date on the weekends, but you’d be stretching yourself awfully thin if you dated one on Friday, one on Saturday and one on Sunday. Keep things evenly spaced, lest your charm and effective wiles begin to slip. Besides, it can be quite an exhausting endeavor, regardless of what you do or where you go, so be sure to get plenty of rest. You’re also risking the classic “oops-I-called-her-by-the-wrong-name” blunder if you go all-out. Not a good situation.

more is better

If there’s one thing you should take away from all this, it’s that juggling multiple women isn’t impossible. It doesn’t immediately brand you as a heartless Neanderthal, it doesn’t signify inevitable disaster, and in fact, you can make it work with a little effort. But do all us Players a favor and remember your reputation. There’s a big difference between being a Player and being a jerk, so you best understand that before you embark on this tricky — yet pretty darn rewarding — quest.