And finally, the quackae lasiks caterpillarus, or "Someone Should Probably Go Ahead and Call an Exterminator... and an Eye Doctor."Ryan S., Jill B., Seth W., Stephanie B., and Anne R., you must be awesomus wreckporterus!

Those are some of THE scariest things I've ever seen... I've followed your blog for a long time, but this is the first one I actually had to comment on! GOOD GRIEF! It's like a psychotic Dr. Seuss book or something! These I would probably be afraid to eat.

I think what's most amazing is that so many of these are proudly sitting in plastic cases in a display cabinet when they're captured in pixels.Some decorator looked at them and thougt "Good enough to sell, if not to eat!"

I will see the grasshopper-pig in my nightmares.And I must now go listen to "Star Trekkin'" by The Firm."There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow. There's Klingons on the starboard bow; scrape 'em off, Jim!"

If they were looking to inspire terror with the tarantula cake, then bang on. I think that's the first actually terrifying halloween cake I've seen (if that's what they were going for...which, as we know, might very well NOT be the case).

As a vet, I feel compelled to point out that neither tarantulas nor "Chilean snuggly bugs" can get rabies - it's strictly a mammalian disease. Perhaps it's not foam we see at the chelae, but the pathetic remains of an unlucky dwarf. If only there was a burglar around to save it!

That said, these cakes are pretty darn awful. Or at least, these mounds of frosting are pretty darn awful. I think someone needs to prove they actually contain cake.

Judging from the pawprints surrounding the Chilean Snuggly Bug, I believe it was supposed to be a dog. However, if it was supposed to be a dog, it looks like it is foaming at the mouth. I'd take a Chilean Snuggly Bug over a rabid dog any day of the week.

I realize that cake decorators must get their training and experience somewhere, but do they have to inflict it on the bakery-shopping public? Can't they practice with spackling compound and Styrofoam? Don't these stores have managers with any brains whatsoever? Why ... why ... why?!?!Tricia

Is the 'chilean snuggly bug' supposed to be a rabid dog? I saw the paw prints and the foam around the mouth, that was my first thought. Maybe it's a call of action by Vets to get your dogs' their rabies vaccines.

I love these creatures--as long as they stay trapped in my computer. I do have a question (What, just one?), what is the random green stuff on both cake number 2 and 5?And another thing? Is seeing a pastel armadillo the same thing as seeing a pink elephant?And where can we scrape off a ton of icing before eating without causing a toxic waste incident?

I don't care what anyone says; I think that the third thing down (wearing a pink straitjacket and a Simpsonesque expression) is cute. CUTE, I say!!Look at that face!! So innocent-looking...so hopeful...

Sadly, we all KNOW that it is not REALLY in a "cake container". We all KNOW what is coming next....It's just that I thought that they had outlawed euthanasia by gas chamber...=^<..>^=

"Chilean Snuggly Bug"...I think I figured it out...it's supposed to be a lion...not sure why the green eyes- but I do find it interesting that it has sloth-like "paws". There's no way the paw prints were made by this creature.

As a side note - I'm sure the foaming rabies residue is actually supposed to be teeth but this bakery evidently does not carry enough icing tips.

I think the pepto hallucinatus is kinda adorable. I can't imagine ever NEEDING a cake shaped like a self-satisfied pig giving itself a hug while wearing two white pieces from the game Sorry on its head, but still...

Wow! How did you know that hallucinatous pepto bismal thing WAS IN MY DREAMS after thoes late-night pizza take-outs? Eh? You guys must be real awesome sneaks! :)

I just wanted to say that it isn't very fair that all the cakes in my local bakeries are boring and overpriced, and nothing (ok, well, you know, *very few thigs*) would land me a place, here. Worry-eth not, though: I will continue my noble search for the flattened hippo/dragon delight in my local bakeries' cake cases. I'm sure cakes likes these (and *worse*, the people who make them?!) are all around us, and we can all find the local wrecks in our cities if we reach out far enough to follow our DREAMS!? *sniff!* :) Great post, as always!

I knew my daughter was a true Cake Wrecks aficionado when she took one look at the Worried Grasshopper pig, laughed at the captions and said "Yeah, and what's up with those mittens?" Now if I can only stop singing "Star Trekkin'" (Star Trekkin' across the universe. Only going forwards 'cause we can't find reverse. There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow..)

I'm willing to give the last cake the title of "caterpillar" (probably because I just saw the new "Alice in Wonderland" movie last night), but it's not a well-made one and I can't even begin to tell what the rest of these are supposed to be. It's bad when you have to write a speech bubble to indicate what your "cake art" represents.

I'm currently wiping nasal mucous off my screen and keyboard since I'm sick in bed with a sinus infection. Apparently, laughing triggers coughs and sneezes- who knew?

I'd never heard of that song before and thank you jengersnap for posting the link...I now need dry sheets as, yes, I wet the bed laughing...

Jen, please don't charge me for the "medicine" of laughter since I'd go broke over this brilliant site!! As a former cake decorator I can only assume these people are on crack. That's my professional opinion but I won't bill you for it. :)

It's hard to believe that any of these are professional cakes. And it's kind of sad. You'd expect this out of my kitchen... Not something you'd pay for. I've gotten better cakes at Walmart bakery. LOL!

I'm now imagining each of the wrecks as the mock ups for the "guy in a rubber suit" acting as the "Monster of the Week" a la the Horta/Gorn etc.Killing off the required number of hapless Red Shirts, scaring either Uhura or Chapel into bosom-heaving coniptions, before either Spock mindmelds/Vulcan nerve pinches it, Bones cures it or Kirk has sex with it....Or all of the above.

I think my glasses need fixing.. or do my eyes really see what I think they are? Horribly colored cakes that wreckerators are claiming to be animals of some sort. They really must be of the Star Trek universe lol. I would run screaming if anyone brought these home.

AYUP! I'm one of them damn New England Yankee ferriners, but I still know how to read, and it says "PASTEL ARMARILLO."And I know this is a stretch, but looky what I done found: (!)amarilloartinstitute.org/... /adult-art-classes/pastelsSo put that in yer piping bag and decorate it!=^~.-^=

LOL! These are some of the most awesome "species" of cakes ever! Star Trek quote...too perfect...

I have one request--could you please capitalize the genus in the Latin names? Like in Awesomus wreckporterus!I tried to let it pass...the obsessive compulsive (anal retentive?) in me is making me say that scientific names when written are italicized (or underlined) and the genus is capitalized, but the species and subspecies are lowercase. Example: "pepto hallucinatus" (my favorite) ideally would read "Pepto hallucinatus". Also "Skinnileg piglet nervosia". Thank you. I'll step down now.

I follow your blog for sometime now and I adore your coments. This particular ones made me laugh sooooooo hard, it's one of the best! I also adore the wedding cake wrecks, it's amazing to see how far people are from what is asked and from reality itself.

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.