Slaves2Darkness:Could they find a more overwrought cliche farking commercial? That thing was a by the numbers sappy POS.

THIS! I'll be curious as to which trope they'll trot out next year. Maybe it will be a continuing saga wherein the puppy has grown up and is owned by that returned soldier. Only now the dog is going over to Afghanistan for military duty and it's the Clydesdale saluting patriotically as the dog boards the plane.

Cute? Heart-warming? Well, if the fires of Hell are "warm" enough for your stoney, god-hating heart, then I suppose so.

You're so blind to the cute puppy that you fail to recognize (or perhaps you're secretly celebrating?) the underlying message that drinking beer will make you more comfortable having Gay Sex with Young Children.

That's right. After all, the union of an adult horse, a gigantic Clydesdale no less, and a juvenile dog or "puppy", is an obvious metaphor for the unnatural union of a well-hung man, perhaps of Scottish descent (ref. the river Clyde), with a thick, bushy beard and pubic area. His enormous, horse-like genitals are wantonly available beneath a flouncing kilt. Pair him with a young man, perhaps a teenager or "twink" as The Gay likes to refer to the youthful males on which they prey. The rebellious young man leaves his school or home and runs away in search of adventure. Feeling emboldened he ventures into the "barn", only a soft "n" sound away from "bar", where alcohol is served. Note that in the puppy's first encounter, the horse is not completely visible. Only his head comes over the door of the stall, so the youthful and inexperienced "pup" has no idea what he's getting himself into. The horse, on the other hand, is a mature adult, lurking in his stall, an allusion, no doubt, to the bathroom stall in The Gay's bar where these unnatural unions are so often consummated.

The man attempts to return the puppy to the kennel three times, a clear reference to Christ's asking Peter three times if he would deny him. Of course, in this case the Christ figure comes a third time to redeem the puppy only to be thwarted by a host of the massive homosexuals with their thick, veined erections and powerfully muscled bodies, at once symbols of lust and desire, but also of menace and intimidation for anyone who would stand between them and the soft, tender young body of the un-violated youth, his smooth belly still pink and soft, his eyes wide with wonder at these new experiences, but ignorant to the Spiritual Poison that awaits.

We see the man and woman are clearly interested in one another in a natural, normal heterosexual fashion and it is suggested that once they become better acquainted they will indeed engage in heterosexual congress, his copious ejaculate filling her loins until her body overflows and it trickles down her thigh. But their natural and wholesome expression of God's desire as mandated in Genesis (man and woman cleve together? remember that part?), the dog is now "separated" from this as the ruthless, lusty, muscular gang of "studs" have surrounded the car, taken the "pup", and now enclosed him in their area, their turf, where the big, burley, sweaty, stud "Clydesdale" with his prodigious turgidity can now be free to seduce and have his way with the "puppy."

Notice how they frolic uninhibited in the pen while the loving parental figures can only look on, helpless. Clearly the attractive woman with supple, pouting bosom and ample round hips represents Christian Eve, while the resourceful, strong man with his muscular forearms and thighs, his cowboy jeans suggesting, but not flaunting, a generous manhood that will please the woman in manners proscribed by Almighty God, taking her in multi-positioned sex throughout the course of their rural day, all in a beautiful representation of Christ as Husband of the Church (us). But the Beer company doesn't care about the Family. They say, "Let your young men run free, let them come to the city and drink beer so their senses are dulled when the "studs" mount them and penetrate them deeply with huge erections, laying them in slings with their feet suspended from the ceiling as they coat each other with lubricants and numbing agents that allow them to remain erect longer without reaching orgasm, the only thing that will bring escape for the smooth young man, now their plaything. But the penetrators don't reach climax and stop. No, they continue to savage the youth's anus for terrible and unnatural duration because they've trained themselves in their cult of penis worship to prolong and forestall orgasm through drugs and obsessive discipline.

And the youth's parents can only weep and pray from the fence line, knowing that their son is an anal sex slave of The Gay.

Is this the one where the owner returns after being away and finds that the horse died and the dog ate it?Or the one where the horse, fed up with the dog, stamps out the dog's life?Or the one where the man, fed up with both, inserts the dog into the horse?Or the one where the man and dog are guards at a glue factory?Or the one where the dog and horse conspire to murder the man for the insurance money?

AngryJailhouseFistfark:Cute? Heart-warming? Well, if the fires of Hell are "warm" enough for your stoney, god-hating heart, then I suppose so.

You're so blind to the cute puppy that you fail to recognize (or perhaps you're secretly celebrating?) the underlying message that drinking beer will make you more comfortable having Gay Sex with Young Children.

That's right. After all, the union of an adult horse, a gigantic Clydesdale no less, and a juvenile dog or "puppy", is an obvious metaphor for the unnatural union of a well-hung man, perhaps of Scottish descent (ref. the river Clyde), with a thick, bushy beard and pubic area. His enormous, horse-like genitals are wantonly available beneath a flouncing kilt. Pair him with a young man, perhaps a teenager or "twink" as The Gay likes to refer to the youthful males on which they prey. The rebellious young man leaves his school or home and runs away in search of adventure. Feeling emboldened he ventures into the "barn", only a soft "n" sound away from "bar", where alcohol is served. Note that in the puppy's first encounter, the horse is not completely visible. Only his head comes over the door of the stall, so the youthful and inexperienced "pup" has no idea what he's getting himself into. The horse, on the other hand, is a mature adult, lurking in his stall, an allusion, no doubt, to the bathroom stall in The Gay's bar where these unnatural unions are so often consummated.

The man attempts to return the puppy to the kennel three times, a clear reference to Christ's asking Peter three times if he would deny him. Of course, in this case the Christ figure comes a third time to redeem the puppy only to be thwarted by a host of the massive homosexuals with their thick, veined erections and powerfully muscled bodies, at once symbols of lust and desire, but also of menace and intimidation for anyone who would stand between them and the soft, tender young body of the un-violated youth, his smooth belly still pink and soft, his eyes wide with wonder a ...

Dahnkster:Imma let you finish, but Audi had the best doggie comercial...[cdn5.feeldesain.com image 630x329]

There were a LOT of dog commercials for some reason, it seemed. II liked these both, and for different reasons. This one was absolutely hilarious for sure, but the Clydesdale one was definitely 'cute'.

From your link...Tapley says the Budweiser commercial in which a Labrador retriever puppy is born among Clydesdale horses and keeps running away from adoptive human parents to rejoin them is evidence of the nearing of the end times.

Was there a first part to this video that I missed? I thought he just kept sneaking out of the kennel next door...

Moving on...

In an interview broadcast by Colbert, Tapley said that he is unusually attuned to phallic symbols, enabling him to see them where others may overlook them.It's "a gift from the holy spirit," he said.

Yeah, I bet it is... Why the fark isn't THIS crazy shiat on Fark today?

arkansized:The commercial was notable for the brief scene of the Clyde jumping the fence.That's something you don't see every day.

I loved that commercial but I heard on one of the news stories this morning that the Michigan State reviewing crew thought that one sucked. I'd certainly like to know their thinking on that. I thought his narrative was pretty well-written. It showed U.S. manufacturing (not just Detroit) in a very positive light.

AngryJailhouseFistfark:Cute? Heart-warming? Well, if the fires of Hell are "warm" enough for your stoney, god-hating heart, then I suppose so.

You're so blind to the cute puppy that you fail to recognize (or perhaps you're secretly celebrating?) the underlying message that drinking beer will make you more comfortable having Gay Sex with Young Children.

That's right. After all, the union of an adult horse, a gigantic Clydesdale no less, and a juvenile dog or "puppy", is an obvious metaphor for the unnatural union of a well-hung man, perhaps of Scottish descent (ref. the river Clyde), with a thick, bushy beard and pubic area. His enormous, horse-like genitals are wantonly available beneath a flouncing kilt. Pair him with a young man, perhaps a teenager or "twink" as The Gay likes to refer to the youthful males on which they prey. The rebellious young man leaves his school or home and runs away in search of adventure. Feeling emboldened he ventures into the "barn", only a soft "n" sound away from "bar", where alcohol is served. Note that in the puppy's first encounter, the horse is not completely visible. Only his head comes over the door of the stall, so the youthful and inexperienced "pup" has no idea what he's getting himself into. The horse, on the other hand, is a mature adult, lurking in his stall, an allusion, no doubt, to the bathroom stall in The Gay's bar where these unnatural unions are so often consummated.

The man attempts to return the puppy to the kennel three times, a clear reference to Christ's asking Peter three times if he would deny him. Of course, in this case the Christ figure comes a third time to redeem the puppy only to be thwarted by a host of the massive homosexuals with their thick, veined erections and powerfully muscled bodies, at once symbols of lust and desire, but also of menace and intimidation for anyone who would stand between them and the soft, tender young body of the un-violated youth, his smooth belly still pink and soft, his eyes wide with wonder a ...

The Rest Are Bait:I kinda liked the Cheerios commercial where the girl is being told she's getting a baby brother and her reaction is to leverage it to get a new puppy.

Yeah, my wife is in the same amount of trouble, we're not getting a new kid, but my daughter has the same negotiation skills, and the short version is that we get a new dog after 2 years... The clincher was when my friend brought her dog over when she visited and my daughter chased that dog around the hours for 2 solid hours. All my wife could say was "Shiat, I guess I lose...". :-)

The only ad that made me cry was the Coca-Cola "America the Beautiful" one, after learning that a legitimate percentage of Americans think that a) it's our national anthem and b) it can never be sung in anything but English.

Granted, those types probably weren't happy Ray Charles was allowed to sing it anywhere but the cotton fields.

Mikey1969:AngryJailhouseFistfark: Cute? Heart-warming? Well, if the fires of Hell are "warm" enough for your stoney, god-hating heart, then I suppose so.

You're so blind to the cute puppy that you fail to recognize (or perhaps you're secretly celebrating?) the underlying message that drinking beer will make you more comfortable having Gay Sex with Young Children.

That's right. After all, the union of an adult horse, a gigantic Clydesdale no less, and a juvenile dog or "puppy", is an obvious metaphor for the unnatural union of a well-hung man, perhaps of Scottish descent (ref. the river Clyde), with a thick, bushy beard and pubic area. His enormous, horse-like genitals are wantonly available beneath a flouncing kilt. Pair him with a young man, perhaps a teenager or "twink" as The Gay likes to refer to the youthful males on which they prey. The rebellious young man leaves his school or home and runs away in search of adventure. Feeling emboldened he ventures into the "barn", only a soft "n" sound away from "bar", where alcohol is served. Note that in the puppy's first encounter, the horse is not completely visible. Only his head comes over the door of the stall, so the youthful and inexperienced "pup" has no idea what he's getting himself into. The horse, on the other hand, is a mature adult, lurking in his stall, an allusion, no doubt, to the bathroom stall in The Gay's bar where these unnatural unions are so often consummated.

The man attempts to return the puppy to the kennel three times, a clear reference to Christ's asking Peter three times if he would deny him. Of course, in this case the Christ figure comes a third time to redeem the puppy only to be thwarted by a host of the massive homosexuals with their thick, veined erections and powerfully muscled bodies, at once symbols of lust and desire, but also of menace and intimidation for anyone who would stand between them and the soft, tender young body of the un-violated youth, his smooth belly still pink and soft, his ...

/ Mikey1969 is the type of douchebag assh*le that goes to Childrens hospitals and scolds them for dying from cancer ect.....

ARE YOU FARKING RETARDED?

Dahnkster: Imma let you finish, but Audi had the best doggie comercial...[cdn5.feeldesain.com image 630x329]There were a LOT of dog commercials for some reason, it seemed. II liked these both, and for different reasons. This one was absolutely hilarious for sure, but the Clydesdale one was definitely 'cute'.

GO FARK YOURSELF, ASSHOLE.

And before you "report" me, keep in mind that you started this, so go eat a cock. I said I liked this, you stupid shiat. Maybe you were one of those children "left behind"? Your reading comprehension skills sure aren't up to snuff, that's for farking sure.