If a great big genie came down from outer space (that’s what they do don’t they) and gave me three wishes, one would be to have an a perminent attachment to Monica Bellucci’s left nipple and the other two would be to have the cash to give Chevy Chase the money to go and make another ‘Vacation’ and FLETCH movie. Well, apparently I will have to consider two more wishes for myself as those last two may just happen.

“I’ve written an idea that would be basically like a “Swiss Family Griswold.” There’s a cruise, there’s a fire on the ship, we think the whole ship’s on fire and we jump—it’s just a little fire—and we end up on an island where we meet Randy [Quaid, who plays Cousin Eddie] somewhere who’s been left there from an old ‘Survivor’ series.”

Amazing, and as for FLETCH…

“I mean look, I’m not gonna do Fletch unless I’m Fletch, if they start writing something for a kid who’s Fletch and I’m just helping out, ‘Bye.’ I mean, there’s no reason why, at my age, I can’t still be Fletch. I’ve always been getting this impression that they’d like me to be mentoring a younger Fletch type thing.”

Please, whoever is in charge of Hollywood, make this happen! Now, Goddammit now!

Paul Heath has been writing about film for nearly 20 years. His passion and love for cinema was put into this very website which was created in 2003. Paul can be found on Twitter https://www.twitter.com/paulthomasheath