And today many of Earth’s greatest talents — living life upon the wicked stage — even earn more than that song. I now bitch about the Tonys a week later because Broadwayites requested it.

For openers, presenters looked tired. Long ago, in days I covered rehearsals, many had to arrive even on performance days just to rehearse colossal opening numbers. This time it was even an insult because hardworking pros were put to be Corden extras.

It was a turnoff. And that’s what many viewers did — turned their TVs off.

This salute to our Great Watt way garnered the all-time lowest rating. Broadway’s never been stronger. The Tony telecast’s never been weaker.

“Hadestown,” “The Prom,” “Tootsie” could not deliver their A-1 heartstopping numbers because such blockbusters do not sparkle in a humongous arena. The world for which they’re choreographed is a specifically arithmetically confined stage. Minutely planned musical numbers — not programmed to be stretched and elongated for cavernous Radio City Music Hall — clink.

Reset Tonys in a Broadway theater. We understand Radio City. We understand you want a large audience in the house. But better you should attract a larger audience in the world.

Just a few suggestions…

Tony execs don’t like me. I forgot what I did long ago to upset them but, whatever it is, they’ll forgive Attila the Hun faster than whatever they harbor against me. It’s OK. I’ll survive — but the telecast mightn’t. Don’t like me? Stand on line. I’m only suggesting. Do a backstage look. Show stars getting made up, fitted for wigs, affixing eyelashes, trying costumes, warming up. Film the dressing rooms. Show the costume department, stage manager’s board, prop man’s cue list, how the curtain’s raised. Show actors rehearsing lines, warming up, entering the stage door, memorizing lines, accepting flowers, grabbing a sandwich. Film the ushers locating seats.

Consider the audience

So who you doing this for? Out-of-towners who’ll maybe buy two balcony seats? Please. The country didn’t watch. They turned it off. Lowest rating ever. Doing this for the Broadway community? Please. They’re cranky over the whole kerfuffle.

So it’s for whom? For them. For those who operate the Tonys. Some of whom running this production were never involved in theater before. Ever.

Here are theatrical ideas. The boards began locally in the 1700s. What did we wear then? What shows opened? What were reviews in those days? What was it like when “Phantom” opened 31 years ago. Run clips of ancient Tony Award nights when stars fluffed, tripped, forgot. Show clips of the shows, parties, clothes, reviews, dramas. Do a historic homage.

Nostalgia’s big

Rewind ancient footage. “Oklahoma!,” “Carousel” openings. In ’45, Hollywood stars were on stages — Spencer Tracy, Gloria Swanson, Tallulah Bankhead, Gertrude Lawrence, Raymond Massey. We’ve had Brando, Al Pacino, Nicole Kidman, Helen Mirren, Barbra Streisand, Cate Blanchett, Julia Roberts. Broadway has starred the biggest names in movies. Get one to voice over a retrospective. You have the footage, the celebrities. You just don’t have the gonads.

The onetime CBS medicine man Les Moonves, a lifelong lover of the entertainment industry, is gone. He protected the Tonys. He loved it. It’s a different zoo now. It’s not the same animals. Who’s going to protect it now?

There is no business like show business. And Broadway is, of course, only in New York, kids, only in New York.