I feel like my previous complaints are still pertinent, even though you've obviously tried to address them. The absurdity has a direction now, and one can clearly see the concept you had in your head. Yet the article still feels light on actual material. I can see the whacky Elon Musk alien robot you're trying to build, but I can see that you're relying too much on the concept itself being funny, rather than the article being funny.

This is a very absurd concept, and I can understand why some people may not like it, but to me it comes together fairly well. The idea of some weird thing masquerading as Elon Musk to ride of his success to get to Enceladus is a good one, and it kept me entertained the whole way through. Also,

Agent McCormick had sustained significant cybernetic surgical modification, including replacement of the lower jaw and esophagus with a Raptor propulsion device.