A band of an angry Australian golfers brandishing golf clubs and firey torches gathered outside the scorers hut today in an effort to get leader Ian Poulter thrown out of the Australian Masters tournament.

A spokesman for the Australian PGA unruly players committee said, “Fair’d income, it’s not fair that Poulter is allowed come down here and spoil our Christmas. Strike me roan, nobody even invited the Pom. Everybody knows that he just wants people to buy his tartan clothes as Christmas presents, and he’s coming down here and kicking our Ozzie asses for some free publicity. The flamin’ gallah has played muck all year and is still making us look bad.”

He continued, “Imagine if we Aussies to England in their Winter and stuck an ad on TV with two guys on a balmy rooftop in party shirts drinking Fosters and talking to Holly Valance. Would that be tolerated? I think not.”

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