The second stanza:
I met Donald Trump in Savannah…
where he liked to play the piannah…
one day, his hand slipped…
his zipper ripped…
…and out came the hairy banana.

Snarkaholic

D.T.’s return letter:
Todd S., who’s way less than appealing…
was put into prison for stealing…
He lay on his back…
dreamed about my butt crack…
…and jazzed all over the ceiling.

Marides48

So how big are Toddio’s “Man-Parts”?. Not that I want to see them or anything. Just curious.

Gene

now, Marides48..not that you would want to (good to know! lol ) but,.why should YOU get to see them when its unlikely that even Todd has seen them in DECADES?
🙂

Marides48

He has the photos to prove it?

Soren456

He has a mirror on the end of a selfie stick, I’m sure.

David F.

I think there was a TV series about that years ago – “In Search Of…”.

Gene

yes…hosted by Nimoy. It hunted for often scary things or mythical things, or things that perhaps it would be best to not find….so, yeah, Todds man parts would have been a topic they would have considered.

😉

Bluto

..

Gene

I suspect todd Starnes thinks about “man parts” more than even most of the men who post on this site.

bkmn

This is basically Todd’s thought process.

Joe in PA

I mistakenly clicked on Joe’s picture above…Joe cleverly named the image: StarnesDick.jpg.

LOL

Cattleya1

I’ll bet dimes to donuts ol’ Todd has something of a micro-penis – and nuts to match.

Palto

LOL!

Sk3ptic

I must admit I think about them a lot…

Gene

awww…you cute little otters always do 🙂

(a good thing!)

Eebadee-eebadee-thatsallfolks

Me too! What are the odds?

JT

Maybe someone should ask him who has the biggest man parts in the Republican party.

Gyeo

Fuck off Starnes. Don’t use the Killing Field as though you own the rights to it. Fuckers like you are partly responsible for it anyways. (And guess what? Women who were pregnant during Pol Pot were force to carry their pregnancy to term just to watch the baby die. It would have saved women lives if they the ability to abort the child.) LAY OFF MY PEOPLE’S HISTORY.

John Bogeman

????? Is Trump going to sign legislation with his penis? Isn’t that more of a side show thing and not something that is presidential?

Michael Smith

Well Trump is a big dick, so he’s half right.

Sam_Handwich

Actually, the was no room for amendments. McConnell had used the “filling the tree” maneuver on the bill that was on the floor.

and I believe he had to “fill the tree” to circumvent a play by Cruz? is that correct? if so…Thanks Ted! you were actually useful for something.

Gustav2

The Truth does not make you FREEEEEEEDOM!!!!!

AtticusP

Poor Todd. He doesn’t know the difference between the verbs “has” and “is”.

Gustav2

The reason we have to continue to fund Planned Parenthood is because even men with little teeny tiny man parts like Starnes can ‘get the job done.’

Eric in Oakland

And isn’t it disgusting for Todd to be talking about using “man parts” to harm low income women (by shutting down Planned Parenthood)? It sounds like a rape metaphor to me.

MikeBx2

This is why Trump is being able to help continue the implosion of the Repub party. Starnes and Fox News are telling their listeners and viewers that “Trump is surging in the polls” with Americans, when the fact is he’s only surging with a small percentage of the extreme conservative base.

Yep. Kind of how FOX “News” has the highest ratings, but really doesn’t attract all that many viewers. The crazy base congregates around Trump (like they do FOX). The rest of the Republican field spits the percentages down to crumbs.

SunsetGay

Trump telling his supporters he has a big penis is much like Kim Jung Un telling his people he doesn’t piss nor defecate. Granted, both are supported by Dennis Rodman so we shouldn’t underestimate the gullibility of Trump voters.

ZhyKitty

Wait… his people really believe that he doesn’t go to the bathroom?

SunsetGay

I don’t think the people of North Korea actually believe that but it is propagated in NK.

See, both Americans and North Koreans may be forced to listen to our respective Donald Trumps but neither truly believes what they say.

ZhyKitty

That’s just such a bizarre thing to put out there though, don’t you think?
I wonder why he tells them that?
How odd…

madknits

It equates him with a deity. Gods don’t need to defecate or urinate, so if Kim Jung Un doesn’t, then he must be a god. There are all sorts of myths surrounding the birth of his grandfather (the typical ones, he was born on the holy mountain, there were celestial portents, comets, stars, etc, when he was born, and so on).

Reports from defectors say that many North Koreans doesn’t believe in those propaganda but when you’re in a totalitarian regime what can you do about it.

zhera

Killing Fields: Because Nazi ovens have already been used today in the religious right’s war on reality.

Jack_Carter_USA

Why am I not surprised Starnes is obsessed with dicks?

Eric in Oakland

Based on the context, the “man parts” that Todd is fantasising about are probably testicles rather than dick. It’s odd that he used such a vague euphemism though…

Octavio

Although I haven’t seen Trump’s dick (who really wants to?) I suspect it is wide at the base and narrows at the end. Most likely uncut. And definitely not longer than 5.5 inches — if that. Then there’s his pubic fat. There’s enough fat down there to obscure anything slightly interesting.

We should start twittering him pics of some man parts and let him pick which should be in charge.

oikos

Someone is in love. <3

MarkOH

And that’s why Lindsey Graham will have Trump backing him.

BearEyes

I see what you did there.

MarkOH

😉

TampaDink

Has? Doubtful. Is? Most definitely.

DaveMiller135

Donald Trump is definitely a big dick.

bambinoitaliano

And not in a good way.

Jmdintpa

sorry to say it like this but im sure that little sniveling queen jerks his little man parts thinking about trumps big man parts all the time. thats what it all boils down to for his type… size queen… tell me this little squeak hasnt sucked one before

Todd E.

I’m sure he has, but not gonna lie, don’t wanna think about it too much — just ate lunch!

Todd E.

Does Todd ‘My Face is a Canned Ham’ Starnes seriously think he’s a legit journalist? What a complete joke!

clay

In the great journalistic tradition of Limpballs and Glennnnn Beck.

Reality.Bites

Has Trump ever said anything about abortion?

Sam_Handwich

he changed to “pro-life” when he was sniffing around the clown car in 2011

BearEyes

he was pro-choice years ago. now has flipped/flopped to being against. R’s are ok since the flip/flop is now in their favour.

Just like HRH HRC, except substitute Dixiecrat for independent. Hillary Clinton has never been independent and has always been a loyal tool of the banksters. Trump has always exemplified the bankster class.

oikos

Somebody is anglin for First Lady.

Robert

bahahahahahaha….i expect to see this troll running through any heavily forested area on the down low

Snarkaholic

…straight toward the nearest rest stop!

Canned Ham Dreams

Todd wants the Donald to slide his manhood back-and-forth in that massive part on the side of his canned-ham head. Todd gets fatter just thinking about it.

Elsewhere1010

Sort of like the Roman Emperor Elagabalus (218-222 CE) who, while not having a big penis himself, sent agents throughout the empire to find men who did have big penises to sent to Rome to “serve” their emperor.

But if any of those agents had ever send Elagabalus a man with such short, stubby fingers are Trump has, the agent would have been executed on the spot.

Stephanie Miller played an extended “Young Frankenstein” clip this morning of Reince Priebus (Gene Wilder) telling Trump (Peter Boyle) that he wasn’t a monster, and he wasn’t evil. Very funny, and spot on.

FuBear

How typical is that?
Someone so Anti-Gay seems to have an ongoing fascination about the man parts of someone else…
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

Blake Jordan

In these polls that have Trump over 10 points ahead of rethuglican candidate number 2, who is allowed to answer?

It would not surprise me if democrats and independents are saying Trump for “shits and giggles”…

Ham Hobbit

That fucking necktie looks more like a bib on this undersexed overgrown ham hobbit.

Bill T.

Todd is enamored with the Donald because Magic Mike isn’t running.

Johnny Wyeknot

Yet.

LovesIrony

John Holmes for president

Twice As Nice

Diphallic Dude for President AND Vice-President.

Michael Hampton

Todd proves once again that he is a disgrace to the term “journalist.” If he wants to be a preacher so badly, he should just go do that.

penpal

It’s interesting he associates recklessness, spite for others, and bullying with manliness. My bet is that he has some serious daddy issues that he should be getting therapy for.

Why are so many right-wing “straight” men so freaking obsessed with dick?

CQCQCQ

“Americans want leaders with man-parts big enough to do the right thing.”

That’s why I want Hillary to be President.

Thank you. I’ll be here all week.

Spongebob CrankyPants

This just confirms that Todd Starnes is indeed a size queen.

Hank Drake

I’d rather not know anything about Donald’s Donald.

Johnny Wyeknot

I suspect it is a decent size and turns bluish when hard. Kind of a flat head to it.

Joe in PA

gee, and I thought tRump was running for the presidency, not a senate seat. Huh.

JustSayin’

The NY Times today points out that the polls being released with trumps surge were all started (and mostly completed) before his ridiculous statements. That it is the starting polling date not the release date that are relevant to the standings today… if the questions started 3 weeks ago, but released today, things may have changed drastically between the times.

LovesIrony

todd stearns: size queen

bambinoitaliano

Todd Starnes drag name is Iwanna Trump.

JCF

Iwanna Hump Trump!

ChitownKev

damn, Todd, TMI!

MBear

I was really grossed out by that.
And then I was wondering if Trump’s pubes look like the ScalpFerret on his head and I barf’d…wasn’t even a little in my mouth, it was all over.