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Do not drink the water

They have announced that they are going to install water meters in every house in Ireland.

Our esteemed Minister for the Environment, John Gormless is very pleased about this. He reckons it will be wonderful for the environment as it will make us conserve water. Of course, one thing we are very short of in Ireland is water. It never rains here.

Ireland is short of water.

Gormless has a face I could never get tired of kicking.

The government see it as yet another way to screw us for more money, so they are fully behind the idea. I almost feel sorry for Gormless, as I’m sure he genuinely thinks the government are backing this for environmental reasons. Dream on, Gormless.

To meter our water, they are going to have to install meters. That should be fun. It’s all well and good in the suburbs where every identical house has an identical stop-cock out on the pavement, but up here in the mountains, we aren’t quite so conformist. Back in the sixties I laid the water supply into this house by connecting a pipe to the main. That pipe then runs through the land here and splits to feed a couple of other houses. I know where that pipe is but no one else does. Heh!

Some years ago the council laid another main up the lane and they probably think I take my water from that. But I don’t. So they are going to try to find somewhere to stick a meter but I will tell them precisely where to stick it and it won’t be on my supply. They can fuck off.

Some of my neighbours have bored wells as there is quite a generous water table here. Doubtless they are delighted with themselves now as they won’t have to pay.

What they don’t realise is that I share that water table.

You see they get their water from the ground and then pipe their shit into the main sewer.

I get my water from the main water supply and then pump my shit into the ground.

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Do not drink the water — 15 Comments

The same here in the UK, Grandad. They are mad keen on water meters, not so that people can monitor what water they use but so they have a method by which they can charge tax on it eventually.

Thats the whole point of measuring how much water a household uses. I wonder whether they’ll be charging Guinness a lot for hosing down the lorries? Not on your nellie. It’ll be hammer the householder and let those with political pull off the tax on grounds of ‘competitiveness’.

The Saudis built desalination plants to convert sea water to fresh water and they are now a major wheat exporter. The Irish Government appear not to notice that Ireland isn’t a desert country and is surrounded, if not awash in the stuff.

There’s no justification for water metering in Ireland beyond a move towards taxing it.

Cap’n – I had to laugh at the “conserving water” shit. In the budget they had to put €70m aside for flood relief with more to come, as half the country has been under water for weeks. If they want to conserve water they should fix their fucking pipes. Something like 70% of all water leaks away before it gets to the houses. It is just another stealth tax.

Was mentioned in the Dáil yesterday that around 40% of the water that flows through the countries water mains is wasted through leaks and broken pipes.
Of course it would be too much bloody common sense to sort that out. But I suppose there’s no revenue stream in that. Pardon the pun.

Robert – And this is the same Dáil that tells us the recession is over and we can all be happy happy happy again? I have heard that the figure is much higher but then we have to put the optimistic spin on it, don’t we?

This goverment is gone beyond a joke. Would you actaully mind if i joined in on the head kicking of gormless gormely. I thin that this goverment much not have anything else to do but make other peoples life miserable and hes doing a great job of making everyone else miserable with this so called brillant budget not. Some how i dont think i will be having xmas here in my house for some reason.

I hate the green party so so much how a group of fringe lunatics got into government with only 3% support is beyond me …..speaking of lunatics see the youtube video of the nazi youth type group invadeing lord monckton anti global warming speech ?