A Movie Drinking Game for Westworld

1. One of the guests (a.k.a. humans) is a total self-entitled dick to one of the hosts (a.k.a. androids). Rape, murder -- it's all good here in Westworld. It's like Jurassic Park if you cheated one of the raptors at cards and then scalped him.

2. Something terrible happens to poor, beautiful James Marsden. I would say spoiler alert but they pretty much start fucking him over minute one. Hang in there, Teddy. Fingers crossed you somehow get inside the corporate headquarters with a Gatling gun and just turn all those suits into strawberry jelly.

3. You recognize a pop song on the player piano (a.k.a. pianola!). There are two types of people in this world, those who think an orgy with an orchestral version of "Something I Can Never Have" in the background is cool, and, well....

4. One of the hosts is totally, bafflingly, nude while getting worked on by an engineer or grilled by one of those corporate types. I mean, I GUESS I understand why they have to be nude. But really, even when you're just having a chat? They have to be wang-out?? OK, it's your dime, Anthony Hopkins.

5. A guest and host hook up (double drink if it's outside of Westworld!). Not sure if someone is a robot?? Well if you can't tell, does it matter? Wait, yes -- yes it does. Just ask (SPOILER) Theresa.

6. One of the hosts is like the grill of my car -- super buggy. OK, so there are a couple of glitches. Maybe a host jelly-heads himself or starts creepily quoting Shakespeare. Let's face it -- this is what you get when you try to dick your engineers out of shares and use tabs instead of spaces. You brought this on yourself, Ford.

1. Symbol-jism: Drink whenever you (or a friend) comes up with a new conspiracy theory or deeper meaning to one of the many symbols in the show. "You see, the bird symbolizes being trapped in a cage, the cage of life, the real world -- and the maze is like, the cage of our own minds, and probably that Ford guy is an android, and like, it turns out Hillary really is a lizard person, here let me show you this YouTube..."

2. Suddenly see-more: Take a shot whenever a host becomes self-aware. I'm telling you, read one too many life hacks on Quora and this is what happens.

3. Gravy-tas: Chug some gravy whenever the crushing gravitas of the opening sequence is just too much to bear. A skeleton playing the piano? Really??