5 surprising things that happened after I went vegan

It’s been roughly a year since I decided to go vegan. For the first few months nothing special happened because I was living in Vancouver which is vegan heaven. I enjoyed exploring all the new vegan tastes, restaurants, ice creams , burgers, burritos… It was awesome! All the coffee shops had almond and soy milk, people were congratulating me for choosing such a healthy lifestyle. Or they just didn’t care because they were minding their own business 😀 Then I moved to Slovenia… and 5 surprising things happened.

1. I didn’t die!

I stopped eating food that is essential for my survival and … nothing happened! I thought I was going to die, or at least get hospitalized. But nothing! Even worse: my health is so much better than before, I haven’t been sick since, and even if I start getting sick, my immune system is so strong that after a day I’m completely ok! Strange…

2. I learned one can be allergic to the word »vegan«

Before I didn’t realize that allergy to words existed, but apparently it’s very common in Slovenia and some other similar-minded countries. Symptoms include sudden anger and hate attacks, triggered by the fear of vegans (because rumor has it they can be very aggressive and will force you to eat only vegetables!), a strong desire to interfere with other people’s lives and prove your superiority, a strong need to make fun of a person who cares about animals and their health, and the loss of all tolerance. This of course can affect your heart rate, blood pressure and so on, and if we don’t want to cause a heart attack, better to avoid that word.

3. I realized I’m surrounded with nutrition experts

It’s so good to have people around who will give you advice on what to eat in order to stay healthy, on how many proteins you need, and where to get those proteins in order to stay alive! It’s so inspiring, these people are all so talented that they didn’t even have to study nutrition, but they JUST KNOW all the facts! And what’s even better: they will give you their advice completely for free, without you even asking! Isn’t that just amazing? I feel so safe now that I know so many people care for me (even complete strangers!), and I don’t mind at all when they constantly look at my plate, and worry about my proteins, because I know they just want to help me. True Samaritans!

4. Drop the cheese and lose your friends!

Cheese is even more important in our lives than meat. People who stop eating cheese are weirdos. And nobody wants to hang out with a weirdo! So if you want people to stop calling you or coming over for lunch/dinner, just drop the cheese. Because even if you put avocado in the salad instead of cheese, it’s JUST NOT THE SAME, and people will not eat that! Because without the cheese it just becomes … the word that shall not be mentioned in order to avoid allergic reactions.

5. Vegans are spoiling the holidays

It’s against tradition not to eat animal products. Every holiday is about eating animals and that’s the only purpose of every celebration. And it’s because humans live like that since forever. We are hunters! We prepare for the battle, sit into our cars, drive to the supermarket, buy that peace of animal wrapped in plastic, and bring it home to feed the family. Yeah! We go to work so we can pay other people to kill and torture thousands of animals in factories, because this is what our ancestors did for thousands of years! And these vegans want to spoil it all, kill our tradition! Better to kill animals than tradition. Amen!

Wake up world!

I live in a world/country/family where it’s considered wrong to kill people, but completely normal to kill animals. Slavery of people is considered wrong, but using animals for our amusement, exploitation, fun or food is completely ok. I live in a world/country/family that will consider me a weirdo for my choices that don’t hurt anyone, but will support and encourage the killing and torture of other beings, alcoholism, violence and other behaviours that clearly hurt others. I live in a place where meat eaters are constantly attacking me for what I eat, and yet I am considered intrusive when I try to raise awareness on social media. It’s hard when your eyes are wide open, but so many people around you are still asleep.

But you know what, even slavery was considered normal not so long ago.