Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood (one of whom was from Texas) were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The first woman, who was not from Texas, said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me."

The Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."

Again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman boasted "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."

Yet again, the Texas lady commented, "Well, isn't that nice??"

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did you husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

The Texas lady replied "My husband sent me to charm school."

"Charm school!", the first woman cried, "Land sakes, child, what on Earth for?"

The Texas lady responded, "So that instead of saying who gives a crap' I learned to say, 'Well, isn't that nice?'"

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BONUS: Joke Of The Week!

The Lecture

One night a man - who was in no shape to drive - wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along the road, he was stopped by a policeman."What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer."I'm going to a lecture." the man said."And just who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked."My wife." said the man.

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