How have I not reviewed this movie yet? For goodness sake, I’m slacking off.

Two words: NAZI ZOMBIES

Here is the synopsis according to IMDB:

A ski vacation turns horrific for a group of medical students, as they find themselves confronted by an unimaginable menace: Nazi zombies.

I gave this movie an A. I went into it knowing what I was going to get…a B grade zombie popcorn flick. This movie did not to pretend to be anything more than that. And they succeeded in a grand fashion.

First of all, we have the so-called Ice Monster prologue…a scary chase through the woods set to Edvard Grieg’s In the Hall of the Mountain King, which is awesome stuff in and of itself (spoken like a true band geek, lol), but when included in the movie was just…choice.

The Original Norwegian Movie Poster

Then we have your motley group of med students on vacation in a cabin that is literally in the middle of nowhere, that is lacking….say it with me now….cell service.

What a ride this movie was! It was gross, funny and thoroughly entertaining. I laughed out loud at some parts and covered my eyes at others.

I’d totally watch this again…..at nine in the morning, of course.

Note: Please, I beg of you, watch it in Norwegian with the English subtitles. The dubbed version is distracting. Plus, you get to hear what the actors’ voices really sound like.

Hey all! I know I’ve been away for a bit. With three little ones, the end of school week can a be a bit of a blur. Between the graduations, the teacher’s gifts and the parties, it is a miracle I was able to take a breath. But I’m back with another review for you.

Though I titled this a horror, it could easily be classified as a thriller. It’s a little strange and confusing at times, but I enjoyed it…though I would not watch it again.

No, this is not the Disney movie that took the world by storm. Look, I’m a huge sucker for going into the woods and bad things happening movies. Here is the synopsis according to IMDB:

After a harrowing snowmobile accident, a young couple is stranded in the woods and must survive while waiting for help to arrive. Events take a turn for the worse after the disappearance of Emma’s boyfriend, leaving her on her own not only to battle the elements, but also to elude a mysterious hunter who is tracking her through the forest.

I’m a simple chick. I like movies that scare, surprise and make me think. I’m not that kind of gal who tries to second guess the movie or make predictions on where the movie is going to go. No. Nope, not me. I just sit back and enjoy the narrative as laid out by the director and actors.

It’s such a simple movie and the backdrop of the cold, unforgiving wilderness serves to put a telling chill into the setting. What would you do if you were in an accident and your companion goes off to get help, leaving you alone in a tent? Then, you start to hear things…..

There is a lot of good camera work and convincing acting by the lead actress. The atmosphere was tense, especially when the pursuing bad guy was introduced. And the pervasive snow in the movie made me feel cold!

I see most of the folks on IMDB gave it a 4 out of 10. I say give the movie a chance. Go into it with fresh eyes and no expectations/predictions of what will happen. I’m not trying to say it’s a masterpiece and it’s nothing new and different, but somehow this quiet little movie endeared itself to me.
Grade: B-

I don’t have much to say about this movie. Here’s the plot, according to IMDB:

A young married couple comes home from a date night to discover that they are imprisoned in their own house with a methodical killer inside.

Film opens, you get this set up of a dude going around someone’s house, nailing the windows shut etc. OOOO, boy, you think, he’s going to get a bunch of partying teens in this house and knock ‘em off one by one. Score!!!

Look, I’m no movie snob. I enjoy a good hunt-em-down and kill ‘em flick. But this….this movie was so empty that I could barely make myself finish it.

Basically, it’s what’s on the tin. A young married couple (who didn’t look that young to me) come for a weekend at this house and get trapped inside with a killer.

Whatever message the filmmaker was trying to send, I didn’t get it. The movie was a big yawn for me.
I found some of the victims’ actions strange and inexplicable. I found myself asking why don’t they do this…or that? And why didn’t they do this? (I’m being deliberately vague so as not to give anything away.)

At the end I just sat for a bit, thinking….okaaaaaay, so that’s it?

I will say that the killer’s mask creeped me out to no end and I was watching this in the middle of the day.

Gore: It was rather bloody in parts. Not Jason bloody, but bloody enough. I’d say at least 2 or 3 bottles of Karo Syrup and red food coloring were used. (Do they use corn syrup for blood anymore or am I dating myself?)

Animal Lovers: There is a cat in the movie. He/she is not harmed.

Grade: D
Watch or not to watch?:
I wouldn’t give this a second viewing. Maybe I’m missing some deeper meaning here, but I don’t think so. The movie was devoid of any character to root for or dislike. I found myself glancing away from the screen torn between not wanting to give up on the movie and just turning it off. I should have turned it off – I wouldn’t have missed much.

Title: AnnabelleGenre: HorrorDirector: John R. LeonettiIMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3322940/IMDB synopsis: A couple begins to experience terrifying supernatural occurrences involving a vintage doll shortly after their home is invaded by satanic cultists.

By now you know that I am not the strongest of heart when it comes to watching horror movies, but I watch them anyway because apparently I’m an idiot. Also, I like to be scared.
I started Annabelle waaaay early in the morning because I can’t stand possessed doll movies. In the 1970s, I was scared to DEATH of the Magic trailer because of that weird-looking ventriloquist doll. I rewatched that movie a couple of months ago and it’s still kinda scary.

But I digress, as a woman with a deep fear of scary movie dolls will do.
Given the creepy movie poster, I figured that Annabelle would join the list.

It didn’t.

First of all, I was annoyed at the main character’s name…..Mia. Can we say Mia Farrow from Rosemary’s Baby? Come on folks….of all the names in the world. Anyhoo, our lovely Mia is given the most evil looking doll ever in the history of movies by her super bland doctor husband and of course, she loves it. I’m like…honey, get yourself an American Girl doll please and thank you.

So la dee dee la dee da, strange things begin to happen of course. She has the baby and they are happy for a bit, then ish starts to jump off, as we all knew it would.

Boo points for the Magical Negro trope, where the Black lady is not only knowledgeable about everything that is bothering poor Mia and the whole curse thing, but sacrifices herself via suicide to save the white couple.

Come
On
Now

We’re not through with this trope yet? And the sad part was, I saw it coming twenty miles away. The even sadder part was the writers didn’t even make an effort to make the journey interesting.

I was also ticked Evelyn (the Black woman) owned a bookstore. Who’s going to run it now that she’s dead? Dammit!

Oh, and the doll is REAL and resides in this weird museum that I saw on Mysteries at the Museum. But in real life it’s a Raggedy Ann doll. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse….

Grade: D
Not even entertaining enough to laugh at or have fun with. Annoying cliches. However, there were good jump scares and some blood.Watch or not to watch?: Watch it if you like, but even chicken-me wasn’t scared. I guess I was just too busy rolling my eyes.

Sidenote: Look how similar the doll is to the dummy from Magic (1978). And yes, that’s Sir Anthony Hopkins.

Synopsis according to IMDB:
Spain, 1950s. Montse’s agoraphobia keeps her locked in a sinister apartment in Madrid and her only link to reality is the little sister she lost her youth raising. But one day, a reckless young neighbor, Carlos, falls down the stairwell and drags himself to their door. Someone has entered the shrew’s nest… perhaps he’ll never leave.

This little gem from Spain took me by surprise. As always, I started in the morning, so that any residual fright would wear off by the time I went to bed. Yes. I love horror movies, but I’m the world’s worst scaredy-cat.

(One time I watched Jeeper Creepers 2 for the first time and went to bed. I kept expecting the Creeper to come out of my closet. And no, I’m not 12.)

Anyhoo, this film is in Spanish with English subtitles, so I had to pay close attention to the screen in order to understand what was going on. Let me tell you, I’ve seen a ton of movies working with the same material, but this one presented it in a new and thoroughly shocking way, at least for me. The actors kept the…some may say “tired” plot going until its climax.

It is a psychological drama combined with a horror/slasher so there’s plenty of dark, spooky shadows and sticky blood for all.

The visuals are top notch and, well, the 50s fashion and hair I just loved.

Grade: B+

Watch or not to watch?: Catholic guilt and sin, religious imagery, blood and crazy ladies your thing? Watch it. It has echoes of both Misery and Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. And as I said above, if you have watched enough movies, you know where the movie is going and where it has been….but enjoy it for what it is, spooky, Gothic and damned bloody!