[War Story] Satoshi v. Shirona-- I will be a Pokemon Master!!

Warning: The following content is practically shoddy warstory gone anime-style fanfic. Hopefully with tact, but if you can’t stomach it . . . just read the bolds.

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Year: 3030 (Nintendo, having lost more and more ground in the ever more competitive world of video games after having survived for more than a millenia, has finally found itself on the verge of bankruptcy. Thus, they decided that it’s finally time to end the Pokemon Series—which means Satoshi can finally grow up and achieve his dream! [yay!])

Note: All Japanese names used for the characters.

Shirona (Cynthia): Impressive, that you have made it all the way to face the Champion of Sinnoh.

Satoshi (Ash): I can hardly believe it either Shirona, but here I am.

Takeshi (aka Brock, sitting in the bleachers): I can hardly believe it either! This crummy anime is almost over! (all the other characters who’ve come to see the match nod in agreement in the background)

Satoshi: Well, I should say that while it’s hard to believe it’s finally here, I never stopped believing this day would come.

Pikachu: Pikka!

Shirona: Hmph. One look at you and I can see it-- together, you and your Pokémon overcame all the challenges you faced, however difficult. That means you've triumphed over any personal weaknesses too. The power you’ve gained... I can feel it emanating from you. That's enough talking. Let's get to the point. I, Shirona, accept your challenge as the Pokémon League Champion! There won't be any letup from me!

Note: On-going effects such as Leftovers, Poison, Burn, etc. are mentioned ONCE when they start, but damage after that has been deleted from the log in order to avoid repetition-- please keep in mind the items/status of pokemon in your head.

Satoshi (thinking): I studied the Spiritomb analysis at smogon.com, so I know, the typical lead spiritomb has 4 of 5 moves—sucker punch, will of wisp, pain split, pursuit and taunt. Out of these, only sucker punch is really a threat to me since I can U-turn out and the other attacks do nothing to Swellow’s strategy. I better scout for that punch though.

Shirona: The typical swellow (according to smogon) has protect, U-turn, Façade and Brave Bird. The typical opening move—I guess if you want to scout for my sucker punch—is protect. But if you want to be a great trainer, you can’t make typical moves that give the opponent free switch ins.

Satoshi (thinking): crap . . .

Takeshi: Well, she sure got him there . . .

Satoshi’s Mom: Huh!? Oh no! Why?

Kasumi (Misty): It’s as Takeshi says—Shirona’s taken advantage of Satoshi’s complacency and gotten a free switch to a really great pokemon! It’s likely that the Garchomp has choice scarf to out run Swellow, and will deal a huge amount of damage to with Outrage!

Takeshi: Satoshi’s never caught even a single steal type pokemon, which are the only things that resist Outrage! This is bad!

Satoshi: *gritting teeth*

Fujihara switched in Donphan (lvl 100 Donphan ?).
Garchomp used Outrage.
Garchomp went on a rampage!
Donphan lost 39% of its health.
[Donphan Get's LEFTOVERS health.]

Satoshi (thinking): As expected, it’s a huge amount of damage. That Dragon is really a monster-- *insert flashback sequence with Shirona pummeling Paul’s face in with Garchomp*

I hope this works . . .

Garchomp used Outrage.
Donphan lost 39% of its health.
Donphan used Knock Off.
Donphan knocked off foe Garchomp's Choice Scarf!
Garchomp lost 6% of its health.
Garchomp's rampage ended.
Garchomp became confused!

Takeshi: Looks like Garchomp’s outrage has stopped.

Professor Okito (Professor Oak): With that, it’ll be confused, and hopefully Satoshi can use the chance to switch in a pokemon better suited to attacking.

Fujihara switched in Sceptile (lvl 100 Sceptile ?).
Garchomp is confused!
Garchomp used Earthquake.
It's not very effective...
Sceptile lost 52% of its health.

Satoshi: Heh, that’s what I get for trusting my gut! I figured you wouldn’t run away from a head-on fight despite confusion, but fortunately for me it looks like you weren’t quite brave enough to go for the all-out route of continuing outrage. :D

Takeshi: Satoshi’s getting a bit big-headed. A grass attack? That’s the most obvious thing he could have done . . .

Satoshi (thinking): Whatever Takeshi—in this situation of the opening game feeling the opponent out, it’s too important to use the moves that have the most general use. The high-power leafstorm was the best pick for this despite it backfiring here.

Kasumi: Toxic spikes are bad news, but at least Satoshi has a spinner in Donphan.

Takeshi: More importantly, snorlax has a huge advantage here over Roserade. Satoshi is sitting pretty. Good thing it didn’t use Leech Seed, but I guess that’s to be expected when the opponent, Sceptile, was a grass type immune to leech seed.

Satoshi (thinking): Acha . . . Spiritomb completely has the advantage here . . . taunts me to stop me from cursing and then I can’t touch it because of pain split . . . I can’t even scare a ghost with the threat of self destruct . . . which I don’t have . . .

Fujihara switched in Heracross (lvl 100 Heracross ?).
[Heracross was poisoned!]
Heracross was poisoned by the Toxic Spikes!
Spiritomb used Taunt.
Heracross fell for the taunt!

Takeshi: I mean, she keeps saying things like, “I can feeeel the power emanating from you (yo’ so stwong!),” and “I won’t let you do me in so easily,” and “I can take your horn.” Maybe it’s just me . . .

Satoshi: Hello you guys!! This is a war story! Shut up and stop filling it up with this stupid crap! You’re going to lower our ratings!

Satoshi (Thinking): Anyway, I wonder if Snorlax was a good switch in. It should be . . . I mean, it could have hypnosis but other than that it can’t do much to me. I should be able to try to set up like this. However, I’ve now tipped my hand that my Snorlax is immunity, and not Thick Fat. Probably won’t make much of a difference now though. Well, here goes nothing.

Satoshi: Not very effective my ass . . . and that thing is going to UU?

Kasumi: Don’t underestimate water pokemon!! It looks so cute and squishy! ~<3

Fujihara switched in Swellow (lvl 100 Swellow ?).
Swellow used Brave Bird.
Gastrodon lost 73% of its health.
shirona's Gastrodon fainted.
Swellow was hit by recoil!
Swellow lost 27% of its health.

4 v. 4

Satoshi: Oh, right. That's why it's UU.

Kasumi: My squishy!! ToT

shirona switched in Garchomp (lvl 100 Garchomp ?).
Swellow used Brave Bird.
Garchomp lost 65% of its health.
Swellow was hit by recoil!
Swellow lost 32% of its health.
Garchomp used Outrage.
Garchomp went on a rampage!
Swellow lost 147% of its health.
Fujihara's Swellow fainted.

4 v. 3 Shirona

Shirona: The battle is not over yet!!

Satoshi: Damn it all . . . not that thing again . . . and both Swellow and Sceptile are gone now . . . well when there’s a problem, send in pikachu!!

Satoshi, looking up: Huh? What’s wrong with you guys? It’s a choice scarf chomp. That means that it probably only invested the effort values needed to achieve 404 speed, just to get above choice scarf Heracross. Without scarf, 252 speed timid Pikachu outruns it of course . . .

Everyone: O.o did . . . did Satoshi just say something brilliant!?

Shigeru: *slouching in a corner* They don’t even notice when I’m wrong anymore . . .

Kasumi: But wait!! Satoshi!! (isn’t noticing Shigeru) how the heck did you get Hidden Power Ice, timid, and 252 evs in speed when we were wandering around, battling whatever pokemon . . . and and and . . . how!?

Lucario used Close Combat.
Donphan lost 68% of its health.
Fujihara's Donphan fainted.
Lucario's defence was lowered.
Lucario's special defence was lowered.
Lucario's lost 10% of its health.
shirona's Lucario fainted.

Kasumi: It got in without being taunted, burned, or even taking a pain split . . .

Professor Okito: Satoshi’s reading has truly become impressive!

Takeshi: More importantly, that was the last sucker punch.

Kasumi: Eh!?

Takeshi: Sucker Punch has a max of 8 pp, and Shirona just used the last one. That's the weakness of not putting Pursuit on in favor of more annoyance-- it's easy to run out of attacks. It makes Spiritomb a powerful lead, but weak at late game sweeping.

Satoshi: Alright, this match is mine!!

Pikachu used Nasty Plot.
Pikachu's special attack was sharply raised.
Spiritomb used Taunt.
Pikachu fell for the taunt!

Takeshi: He’s got nasty plot up!

Satoshi: Pain Split, Taunt, Will-o-Wisp and Sucker Punch. No pursuit, so no threat to my partner in Nasty Plotting.

Pikachu used Thunderbolt.
Spiritomb lost 48% of its health.
Spiritomb is paralysed! It may be unable to move!
Spiritomb is paralysed! It can't move!

Everyone: Hax . . .

Shigeru: It’s still not enough! He isn’t going to make it! She’ll painsplit and--

Takeshi: No . . . Somehow . . . He’ll definitely do it!

Kasumi: How can you know!?

Takeshi: Because . . . Shigeru has been wrong about EVERYTHING so far!

Shigeru: . . .

Pikachu used Thunderbolt.
A critical hit!
Spiritomb lost 104% of its health.
shirona's Spiritomb fainted.

Satoshi: Pikachu!! You were so great!! You did such a great job!! *hugging*

Shirona: Just a few moments ago, you were the most powerful challenger. And just now, you became the most powerful of all the Trainers. You are now our newest Champion! The Pokemon League Officially recognizes you as the main character!

. . . oh, and um . . . would you like to get coffee sometime? Here’s my phone number . . .

Professor Okito: Don’t worry Shigeru . . . we’re all wrong sometimes . . . Do you know why you’re wrong though Shigeru? It’s because you raised your pokemon only caring about power. It’s the bonds of friendship that bring pokemon and people together . . . that’s what makes them strong. Look at Satoshi and Pikachu—they have a strong bond so the hax gods smiled on them. While you . . . you’re just not a very good person.

Shigeru: T-T

Professor Okito: That’s right, remember well. All those missed attacks on your side, and all the criticals and status haxes on the other side . . . that’s really God punishing you for your sin.

Shigeru: T-T

Satoshi: I’m a pokemon master!!

Shirona: Come on Satoshi-- there's this hall of fame thing in the back where we pokemon masters can be alone. ~<3

Props and Slops

Props:

-Pikachu!! Taking out 3 of the enemy pokemon!!
-Donphan, for knocking off scarf that made pika’s kill possible, taking hits like a champ, and spinning.
-The other pokemon, who did their best to support Pikachu and not get in his way!

-To Shigeru, for getting the blunt of all the jokes and taking ‘em like a man (Sorry to all the Gary fans out there—he’s just so fun to make fun of)

-Kumar, for approving another of my warstories!

Slops:
-Me, for the stupidity with Heracross
-Me, for being too chicken to use Seismic Toss Charizard. -_-
-I’m still pissed with Satoshi for not catching a Blissey! (Or a steal type!!)
Not too much slops, it was a great battle :D

nice theme team and way to go on reading garchomp's "slowness", albeit it's still a risk because some people just love running 252/252 adamant scarf blindly :P which would've still outrun any non-timid pikachus. good battle though

Personally, I think you overdid the peanut gallery. Good warstory otherwise.

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*shrug* Maybe, but there is the warning at top.

I figured that with two theme teams fighting each other, no one's going to look to this as a serious example of the state of OU anyway. It's only virtue is showing off a decent battle between anime character themes, so it might as well be taken to the distance.

Besides, I wanted to [try to] show that [not-just-stupid] humor is possible in a War Story. But admittedly, it's pretty geared to my sense of humor. If you don't know anything about the anime, you won't get a lot of jokes. If you didn't play Pokemon Red, you probably won't get some of the jokes. If you didn't read my first warstory, some of the jokes won't be as funny. If you don't speak any Japanese or know any Japanese culture, you probably won't get the joke with the Murkrows.

("Aho" is the sound Crows make, like how cows say "moo" in English, but in the Kansai dialect "Aho" means "idiot." So crows flying by saying "aho" after something stupid happens is an on-running gag in Japanese comedy)

There are also a couple references to the Youtube series "Yu-gi-Oh! Abridged."

If you like the humor in Eyeshield 21, you probably like the humor in this fanfic. I mean warstory. Anyway, who doesn't love Eyeshield 21?? O.o

Hitmonlee-- Thanks! You might be right about the telegraph, but maybe she just figured I wanted to get rid of choice scarf. Doesn't the normal Donphan (no extra attack evs) need to 3hko with ice shard? I'm not sure.

Kasumi: It got in without being taunted, burned, or even taking a pain split . . .

Professor Okito: Satoshi’s reading has truly become impressive!

Takeshi: More importantly, that was the last sucker punch.

Kasumi: Eh!?

Takeshi: Sucker Punch has a max of 8 pp, and Shirona just used the last one. That's the weakness of not putting Pursuit on in favor of more annoyance-- it's easy to run out of attacks. It makes Spiritomb a powerful lead, but weak at late game sweeping.

Satoshi: Alright, this match is mine!!

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In short, I stalled with lax until I saw her use a sucker punch. She'd already used 6 previously.

Actually, my opponent admitted to me after she completely forgot about sucker punch's limited PP (heat of the battle). My good luck I guess :P

I guess that's one of the bad sides of this format. If people choose to not follow the dialogue, they might miss some of the important play-by-plays. :/

I was just going to mention the lack of Seismic Toss Charizard once again somewhere in this post, but you saved me a bit of typing XD. You know that even Lucario wouldn't have stood a chance against the mighty Seismic Toss. Throw a Dragon Rage in there and it's toast (ok, what's up with Ash's Charizard and set damage moves?)

Loved this Warstory just as much, if not more, than your first one. While others saw the peanut gallery as distracting, I actually got a kick out of them, especially when Shigeru/Gary/Green/Blue/whatever got made a fool of. Loved the references to the games, and I found the story behind the Murkrows' "Aho" to be both hilarious and enlightening.

The fact that Pikachu actually did something useful (even going as far as to win the match in its entirety) like Ash's Pikachu clinched it for me.

Takeshi: I mean, she keeps saying things like, “I can feeeel the power emanating from you (yo’ so stwong!),” and “I won’t let you do me in so easily,” and “I can take your horn.” Maybe it’s just me . . .

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Kasumi: Don’t underestimate water pokemon!! It looks so cute and squishy! ~<3

Best... war story... ever. That's actually not too much of an exaggeration. The best moment from the Warstory Archives I ever saw was Absol OHKOing Rayquaza with a Me First Outrage. This one has even better MOMENTS than that! I don't know if I can pick a favorite. Well, this could be...