How amusing. Only days after I expose Blogging Tory "Neo Conservative" for the lying, pustulent hack that he is, we have the child rape-obsessed Richard Evans pulling exactly the same stunt:

Oh, dear. Where to even begin?

First, it's not clear why Dick is so strokingly excited about that screenshot since, unlike so many of Canada's wanks, we here at CC HQ don't disappear our posts down the memory hole. I like to think of it as "accountability." But the true dumbassitude of Dick's post is, of course, his gross misrepresentation of my post title, "Fuck the Jews," which was both my interpretation of Canadian PM SteveBob LoadPants' attitude to Canadian Jews, as well as an admittedly edgy reference to the very phrase that got Robert McClelland in so much trouble, lo, those many months ago.

Naturally, none of this matters to NAMBLA Dick, whose reading comprehension probably handles about three words and not much beyond that, inspiring him to embarrass himself with a post that bears absolutely no relation to reality. (The same can be said for his other reference, which involves my poking fun at Neo for being creepily fixated on the violent deaths of Toronto's minorities.)

Ah, but now the fun starts, as Dick calls out folks like Dr. Dawg, Red Tory and others, demanding that they explain their lack of screeching condemnation of yours truly. Yes, there's Dick, a man who registers look-alike domains and redirects them to child sex and white supremacist sites, simultaneously standing there, his arms akimbo, stamping his widdle feet in disgust, demanding that others rationalize their social and cultural positions. Ah, the delicious irony.

And, oh, by the way, Dick, if you're seriously going to accuse me of racism and misogyny, what say we take a sizable poll and see which of the two of us has a better track record for defending the rights of gays, women and minorities? No, seriously, let's put it to a vote and ask Canadian women, if they had a choice, which of the two of us they'd rather have in their corner.

After all, there's me, whose co-bloggers distinguished themselves in the past Canadian F-Word awards for defending the principles of feminism. And there's you, who encourages people to visit a website that promotes sex with children. Yeah, I'm sure that's a big hit with the soccer mom crowd.

How about it, Dick? You wanna compare street cred? Go ahead -- make my day.OH, THIS IS DELICIOUS. Yes, I realize I shouldn't continue to poke stupid people with sharp sticks, but NAMBLA Dick has an update on that original post that begins thusly:

Update: Oh Look! CC's still pissed that I accurately pegged him and his comrades as NAMBLA enablers.

So, let's follow the logic here. Calgary blogger, failed politician and child rape obsessed Dick Evans registers the domain "canadiancynic.net", redirects it to the home page for NAMBLA (North American Man-Boy Love Association), and therefore concludes that I am the child sex enabler.

Yes, he really is that deranged. I mean, that's Patsy Ross territory there. Someone should give the little woman Corinne Evans the name of a good divorce lawyer. And police protection. And not necessarily in that order.

I've been trying to put a finger on what bothers me about SteveBob LargePants and his fevered haste to wrangle up an election, one that seems doomed to return yet another minority. It isn't that he's breaking his own pet law about fixed election dates. We've seen example after example of Harper and his Cons saying one thing and doing another, legal or otherwise. There's the ongoing saga of the dubious legality of the In 'n' Out scandal, the use of 10% mailings for the endless campaign, his instant appointment of a senator then appointed to cabinet and the loving embrace of Mr Emerson after his stroll across the floor. Harper has tried to freeze out the press corps, take absolute control of message, stifle the opinions and free speech rights of public servants through intimidation, firings and imperial edict. His party's website and public communications are little more than smear, innuendo and attack, 24/7. I think that among his many failings, flailings and fibs, what bothers me is his utterly undemocratic approach in this rush to the polls.

This minority government leader has not seen fit to allow parliament to work. He has made every effort to impede the workings of the house. His party has filibustered committees, even circulated manuals for the disruption of the nation's business in those same committees. He has now declared, through some magical foresight of his very own, that a parliament that is not currently in session is somehow dysfunctional. His issue seems to be that the opposition opposes his will. He is not prepared to wait until the house reconvenes, until a confidence vote fails or until the elected representatives get to represent. He whines that his government is blocked at every turn, yet the record would indicate otherwise, he has been quite successful in moving his legislative agenda forward. That is clearly not the issue. He declares that the opposition parties have no confidence in the government, yet he has survived every confidence vote he has been able to manufacture. For good or ill, democracy is a pesky and fractious means of government and a minority rule is even more contentious. It is founded in disagreement, argument and compromise. It is more than obvious that Harper is utterly unwilling to compromise, to reach or even seek accord. He is an autocrat lost in an unfriendly system that denies him his every whim.

So rather than allowing the house to go back to work, he stomps his foot. Rather than facing the repercussions of his and his party's mistakes, errors and machinations he wants to slam the door shut on the people's right to seek answers and investigate the doings of their elected government. Simply enough, the election that he is ginning up in such a panic is devised to prevent inquiry and disclosure. It is an attempt to use the democratic process as a coverup for scandal and a screen to hide failure looming on the economic front. When it comes to responsibility and accountability, we need only cast a glance at Tony Clement, a veteran of Mike Harris's Ontario government, who has learned nothing from Walkerton. As health minister he has abandoned even the appearance of responsibility as he cracks wise in America while Canadians die. The Harper response to the listeriosis outbreak is to try and weasel out from under responsibility. And this is the legacy of the Harper rule to date, it is somebody else's fault or they did it too (even if they didn't). Adscam, for ever. Harper has made every effort to reshape Canada and Canadian government in his own image, it is long past the point where he can blame every problem and failing on the Liberals of days gone by. It is high time that Steve actually stood by his word and faced his responsibility, made himself accountable and allowed a vestige of transparency in his own government.

Let the house sit. Let the committees work. Let the questions rise and the answers fall. Harper has talked the talk, now is the time for him to walk the walk. And that walk is not a mad scramble to the polling station amid a litany of smears and obsfucation.

Is anyone else getting a Harriet Myers vibe from all of this or is it just me? I don't think it's just me.

And furthermore. I would've said it was impossible to make Dubya's nomination of Myers look brilliant but with everything I've read about Palin in the last few days, I'm starting to think that McSame has managed to pull it off.

LuLuSnark. By installing someone fresh out of senior kindergarten as his spokesthingy, Big Daddy once again proves that his respect for the national media and, by extension, the people of Canada is virtually endless. No, really.

“It just wouldn’t be appropriate to have a festive occasion while a near-tragedy or a terrible challenge is presented in the form of a natural disaster,” [John] McCain said in a taped interview for Fox News Sunday.

As is her tradition, fetus fetishist SUZANNE's grasp of current affairs is about an inch wide and half an inch deep:

"Palin proved her pro-life credentials in a powerful way earlier this year year when she gave birth to her fifth child, born with Down Syndrome, despite receiving pressure from doctors to abort. At a time when a vast majority of Down Syndrome children are aborted, Palin vociferously defended her choice to bring her daughter [sic] Trig to term."

Saturday, August 30, 2008

And over at Small Dead Brainstems, "The Greek" tries desperately hard to be witty:

Wow, that's devilishly clever. Did you know that Barack Obama's middle name is "Hussien?" Because it isn't -- it's "Hussein." But that's OK because, even with the dumbfuck illiteracy, the racism still comes shining through. It's a Blogging Tory thing, you know.

Ontologically, an embryo is the same as an adult human. It's just at a different stage.

The intrinsic value of thing can never change. That's why it's intrinsic. If human adults are intrinsically valuable in adulthood, their value is the same at their beginning-- conception.

Did everyone get that? A fetus is exactly the same as a fully-grown person even though it’s different. So if we follow HER argument to its oh-so-logical conclusion (over a cliff) then the fetus’ differences merely reinforce its absolute sameness. By being different. All at the same time. Or something like that ... I think.

The Canadian Jewish Congress sent a letter to Harper last week asking him to avoid setting an election on Oct. 14, 15, 21, or 22. Those dates are all key parts of the Jewish religious festival, Sukkot. Observant Jews would not be able to work for candidates on election day if the vote were set for Oct. 14.

"We did make the case pretty strongly . . . that these dates should be avoided," said Bernie Farber, executive director of the Canadian Jewish Congress.

At a briefing for reporters Friday, senior officials in the Prime Minister's Office said Mr. Harper is likely to pull the plug on his minority Tory government some time between Sept. 2 and Sept. 7. And they said the most likely voting day is Oct. 14, one day after Thanksgiving.

I'll just bet there's some serious buyer's remorse going around this morning.

FUCK THE JEWS, PART DEUX. One wonders if that sloppy Sarah Palin wankerfest going on over at the BTs is going to pull up short because of this. I'm guessing not. Call it a hunch.

HEH. Amusingly enough, while the Blogging Tories are absolutely creaming themselves over the choice of Sarah Palin, it falls to American wankers to shake their heads, roll their eyes, and ask "What the fucking fuck was that all about?"

Apparently, Canadian wankers are actually stupider than American wankers. That has to be cripplingly depressing on so many levels.

I wish someone would blow up the Liberal office, those fucking criminals.

Liberal are biggest theives, degenerates and scumbags in the world.

Fuck the Liberals, those dirty, fucking commies.

Cue Patrick Ross, frantically rationalizing how the above is not that big a deal because ... because ... well, because it isn't. So there.

P.S. Is it irresponsible to speculate whether this person is a Stephen Taylor-inspired Blogging Tory? It would be irresponsible not to, wouldn't you say?

P.P.S. Hey, here's a thought. Wouldn't it be just too funny to see if a single Blogging Tory even mentions the above vandalism, much less condemns its actual threat to life and limb? So feel free to check in on them occasionally, and drop me a note if any of them rouse themselves from their current panty-moistening Sarah Palin worship to spare a word or two about someone who's a manslaughter indictment just looking for a place to happen.

I don't expect to hear anything out of them but, hey, stranger things have happened. Well, maybe not.

Blogging Tory and Open Bathrobe Media blogger Damian Penny gets all squishy over a possible attack strategy against Barack Obama:

...The McCain campaign is hoping and praying that someone will say that Palin is unready for the job. “Please,” John McCain is praying right now AS I TYPE, “Let a Democrat say that an executive with 2 years of experience and no foreign policy expertise isn’t ready for the presidency. Oh pretty please. Because you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to take that soundbite, put it in an ad, slap Obama’s mug up there, and run it over and over and over again.”

Or alternatively, Damian, the Obama camp might take every McCain attack that until now had criticized Obama for his lack of experience and lack of foreign policy expertise, grab those soundbites, slap Palin's mug up there, and run that over and over and over again.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Much going on in the world that distracts, distorts, delights or dismays. But not so much that I can't bid welcome to Scotian upon his return to the blog swamps. You were missed and many of us thought our kindest thoughts your way in your absence. Cheers and welcome back!

I realize full well that it's way too short notice for this to make a difference but, Jesus, I really wish G-G Michaelle Jean would be absolutely inundated with outrage, demanding that she tell Stephen Harper to go sit on it and rotate.

It's obvious that Stephen the Douche is going to ask Jean to dissolve parliament and take us into another election, just as it's obvious that she should tell him to fuck right off. And, seriously, that kind of response from Jean (even though it massively flies in the face of historical precedent) would be ridiculously easy to defend.

Start with, of course, the Harper government-passed legislation that gave us what was advertised at the time as "fixed" election dates. And, no, I don't want to painstakingly parse the freakin' bill. Let's just notice how that legislation was presented at the time:

The Senate has passed a bill that will require federal elections to be held every four years...

After the bill is proclaimed into law, opposition parties will still have the power to force an election earlier than the fixed date if a minority government is defeated in a confidence vote.

Once the bill becomes law, Prime Minister Stephen Harper will not be able to call an election on his own...

"Fixed election dates will improve the fairness of Canada's electoral system by eliminating the ability of governing parties to manipulate the timing of elections for partisan advantage," [Rob Nicholson] said in a news release on May 30, 2006.

Under current rules, the prime minister has the power to select a date for a general election and to advise the governor general to dissolve Parliament.

According to the Harper government, this power allows the governing party to set the time of the election to its own advantage.

"Establishing fixed election dates fulfils one of this government's key campaign commitments. It is an important step in improving and modernizing Canada's democratic institutions and practices," Nicholson said in the release.

Now, what part of the above seems unclear or ambiguous to you? Seriously, where in any of that do you see any suggestion that that law is not to apply to Stephen the Hutt? That law was presented as delivering fixed election dates, and that's the spirit to which Harper should be held. But wait -- we're not done here.

The next argument that Harper could make is that he has lost the "confidence" of Parliament. That is complete crap -- he has yet to lose a single confidence vote, and Jean should take the time to explain that to him in short words so that even he can understand that.

"My expectation is that we will have another minority," Harper said Wednesday in Tuktoyaktuk, N.W.T., where he's on a three-day, campaign-like swing through the Arctic.

So Yo, Harper! is going to go, full of bluster and swagger, to the Governor-General, asking for an election -- an election which 1) flies in the face of his own "fixed" election date legislation, 2) having never lost a single confidence vote, and 3) openly admitting that he expects it to change nothing. If there was an easier case for telling Harper to blow it out his ass, I can't imagine what that would be. Which suggests that Jean consider two options: either a) tell that whiny, little shit Harper to suck it up and get back to work, or b) hand over government to the opposition, since Harper is admitting nothing less than that he is incapable of running the country.

I have, of course, little optimism that this is going to happen. But it's safe to say that, given that Jean technicallyhas the discretion to make a choice here, if she simply bows to Harper, well, she can piss right off, too. This is her opportunity to finally put the brakes on Canada's latest experiment in dictatorial fascism, but if she simply rolls over and gives Harper what he wants, it's safe to say she won't be on my Christmas list any time soon.

P.S. I should also point out that, while Il Douche is currently whining about how he deserves an election because he's in a vulnerable position where he could be brought down by the opposition in a confidence vote, this is the same mouthy, arrogant ratbag who, for months, mocked and taunted the opposition, challenging them to do exactly that. That's not really a position from which you should expect a great deal of sympathy. Not even from a Governor-General.

Via Alison at Creekside, we learn that we are about to be awash in a deluge of all things Jewish. However, there is apparently a screeching disconnect between the American and Canadian propaganda campaigns.

Americans have previously been treated to Jewishness of this sort:

Sadly, we in Canada will not be so lucky:

I'm trying hard not to think of this as an international diplomatic insult, but I recognize a slap in the face when I see one.

So we have "The Greek," posting at SDA, linking to LGF, and giving a hat tip to Blogging Tory "Neo Conservative." Fucking hell, but I don't see how that could get any more douchebaggy unless they squeezed Richard Evans and Patrick Ross in there somewhere.

If I could tear you away from your scientific illiteracy, white supremacy, young earth creationism, Ezra Levant worship and general ignorant, dumbfuck buffoonery for just a moment, I'm curious as to how you see this latest development:

"My expectation is that we will have another minority," Harper said Wednesday in Tuktoyaktuk, N.W.T., where he's on a three-day, campaign-like swing through the Arctic.

So, having made it clear that he's perfectly willing to break his "fixed election dates" promise, we now have Il Douche openly admitting that, if an election happens, he expects little to change in terms of who's running the country.

Think about that for a moment.

Given a government (and its adoring groupies) who have railed on and on about fiscal responsibility, and protecting taxpayer money, and cutting inefficient programs, I'm curious as to how you defend spending hundreds of millions of dollars on an election that, according to Stephen the Corpulent himself, will change absolutely nothing in the political structure of the country.

Really, I'd like to hear this. Having yapped on and on and, holy fuck, Jesus, Mary, Mother of God, tediously on about cutting waste, I would dearly love to see how cavalierly you assfuck all of those principles by barking like retarded seals for an admittedly meaningless election at this point.

Seriously, give it a shot. We all need the entertainment value. And you can't possibly make Stephen Taylor look any stupider by now.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

I was planning on visiting my grandmother on my way home from work this afternoon only to find out that her nursing home has been closed to all outside visitors. Now guess why, you cost-cutting, double-dealing, promise-breaking, corpulent, mouthbreathing, in-and-out hypocrite. Ooopsie — it seems there’s an outbreak of what may be listeriosis affecting the residents.

It’s no secret that I hold you in complete and utter contempt but let me give you some very good advice. You might want to ask your cabinet superstars Flaherty, Baird and Clement just how much fun the Walkerton Tragedy was for the Harris government ... because as your mythical sky-God is my witness, this girl hopes you wear this like an anvil around your smug neck.

The prime minister himself has acknowledged that public opinion polls "aren't particularly wonderful."

"My expectation is that we will have another minority," Harper said Wednesday in Tuktoyaktuk, N.W.T., where he's on a three-day, campaign-like swing through the Arctic.

In unrelated news, CPoC spokesdouchebag Kory Teneycke defended massive government cuts to arts funding, explaining that some of those funding choices were inappropriate, inefficient, and highly ideological. The irony was entirely lost on Ottawa's press corps.

“We will have diverted all that money to address the least likely threat while the real threats come into this country in the hold of a ship, or the belly of a plane, or are smuggled into a city in the middle of the night in a vial in a backpack.”

Today at lunch with some office mates, someone piped up and asked, "Will there be an election?" I think the guy was baiting the one outspoken Liberal in the crowd, knowing it would revoke a reaction. It did.

Harper, in passing this legislation, sets the precedent. If he disobeys the spirit of his own law, it becomes a law that isn’t worth respecting, and the “achievement” has to come off of any list of Harper Accomplishments for that list to remain credible.

And just what does Stephen Harper adoring groupie and comfort girl Sandy Crux think of that?

TBogg brings us the latest developments in the talentless life of Chris Muir, who has finally gone full-metal Kathy Shaidle. It's hard to believe anyone could be a rabid fan of Muir's, but stranger things have happened.

Well, OK, there's that guy, but when you're already a NAMBLA devotee, even Chris Muir represents a step up. I think.

SO MUCH PURE DUMBASSITUDE: There is so much to mock in that CBC piece but here's my favourite bit:

Speaking to reporters Tuesday morning, Harper said the goal of the fixed election date — the next one being Oct. 19, 2009 — is to provide Canadians with some sense of certainty.

But he argued that in the context of a minority government like the current one, certainty is never possible because opposition parties are always threatening to vote against the ruling party on confidence motions and topple the government.

Quite right. Because having (and justifiably so, I might add) taunted and ridiculed the opposition mercilessly for months regarding their inability to vote against him even once, and even challenging them to do exactly that, Harper is now so terrified of the prospect that he must bring his own government crashing down to prevent the mere possibility of it.

And the media will nod indifferently, ignore the howling inconsistencies, file their stories, and move on to the next Ottawa dinner party. After all, those cocktail weenies aren't going to eat themselves, you know.

There's a precious scene in the Family Guy Star Wars spoof "Blue Harvest", during which Luke (Chris Griffin) Skywalker is practising his new Force powers on the Millennium Falcon under the tutelage of Obi Wan (Creepy Old Man Herbert) Kenobi, until Han (Peter Griffin) Solo breaks in, "You know, you guys seem like a couple of morons to me."

With just a touch of condescension, Chris responds, "You don't believe in the Force, do you, Han?" To which Peter drolly snaps back, "Oh, you mean that thing you just found out about, like, three hours ago and are now judging me for not believing in?"

Snap.

Which brings us, of course, to the plethora of wanky Blogging Tories who, having bragged about the CPoC legislation that brought us "fixed" election dates, now sanctimoniously lecture us on the loopholes contained therein as if they'd known about them all along. You know ... smug douchebags like Stephen Harper adoring groupie and loyal fellatrix Sandy Crux, with her:

You know what, Sandy? No, until recently, I didn't know that. Just like you didn't, either. Because all of us, when we listened to your Glorious Fascistic Leader Il Douche yammer on and on and ceaselessly on about fixed election dates and their benefits to democracy and shit like that, we all (reasonably) assumed that, when he referred to "fixed" election dates, he actually meant, you know, "fixed" election dates.

We never suspected that he had his fingers crossed behind his back the whole time, just as we never suspected that, when the truth came out and sane people everywhere realized that Harper was a sleazy little scumbag, that his loyal blackshirt flying monkeys would suddenly get all pedantic and begin lecturing us on the intricacies of the legislation as if they knew this all along, rather than having had to scramble to figure it out along with the rest of us.

So, Sandy, feel free to take your unctuous sermonizing, and cram it in the orifice that Stephen Harper probably doesn't use. All of this after-the-fact rationalizing is really unbecoming for a grown-up. Although, now that I think about it, it's perfectly predictable for a Blogging Tory.

The Senate has passed a bill that will require federal elections to be held every four years...

Once the bill becomes law, Prime Minister Stephen Harper will not be able to call an election on his own...

"Fixed election dates will improve the fairness of Canada's electoral system by eliminating the ability of governing parties to manipulate the timing of elections for partisan advantage," [Rob Nicholson] said in a news release on May 30, 2006.

Under current rules, the prime minister has the power to select a date for a general election and to advise the governor general to dissolve Parliament.

According to the Harper government, this power allows the governing party to set the time of the election to its own advantage.

"Establishing fixed election dates fulfils one of this government's key campaign commitments. It is an important step in improving and modernizing Canada's democratic institutions and practices," Nicholson said in the release.

You know, I'm reading all that carefully, and I don't see any mention of loopholes or exceptions if, you know, Stephen's in a pissy mood. Or he's not getting his way. Or it's that time of the month for him.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Conservative government's $517 million deficit for the first two months of the fiscal year may not be indicative of the economic performance for the year to come, but it shows a slowing economy, and if that trend continues, a deficit may await the government, says economist and public policy expert Jack Mintz.

The report, which comes amid growing speculation of a fall election call, will undermine the minority Conservative government's fiscal credibility in any campaign, warned John Williamson of the Canadian Taxpayers Federation.

"In the first three months spending is up two-and-a-half times what these so-called fiscally responsible Conservatives in Ottawa budgeted it to be," he noted."It will simply not be credible for the Conservatives to characterize themselves as being responsible with the public purse," said Williams. "It remains to be seen if the Opposition Liberals can take advantage of the government's reckless spending record in an election campaign."

Ah those cut-taxes and spend anyway Cons.

Still, the surplus was an improvement on what had been a $517-million deficit during the first two months of the fiscal year.Revenues in the first quarter of the fiscal year decreased by $1.1 billion, or 1.8 per cent, from a year earlier to $59.6 billion, reflecting declines in corporate income tax and GST revenues, the department said. Program spending was up $3.89 billion, or 8.4 per cent, to $45.3 billion, due to higher transfer payments and operating expenses of departments and agencies.

There's that deficit word again. Troublesome bugger that one. $500 million short in the first two months of the fiscal year and a fortunate recovery in the third month to pull the country back into the cumulative black for the quarter. Whatever happened, it is better to be in the black. Must have been some excellent economic guidance that managed the turn around.

Marginally offsetting the surge in program spending was a $500-million dip in debt payments.

Well isn't that interesting? That number does seem kind of familiar. Probably nothing, never mind 'cos it isn't like we'd rob Peter to pay Paul.

The federal spending surge, plus the impact of tax cuts and now slowing economic growth, have raised concerns that Ottawa could slip back into deficit this year or next for the first time in more than a decade.

Adscam! Nothing to see here. Move along. Flaherty the microminister has vowed that nothing bad will happen.

Flaherty, however, has repeatedly vowed that the government will not fall back into the red.

See. All good.

And the government is sitting on a $4.25-billion windfall from its recent auction of wireless spectrum that was not included in budget revenue projections and has not yet been booked in the financial statements.

Ah, how convenient. That little shindig turned out to provide two to four times the expected return, depending who you read. It was so lucrative that the next slice of spectrum will hit the auction block in the next year and a half. That slice of the airwaves is now being occupied by analog television signals. It is the most desirable chunk of the spectrum for cell phones and wireless data communications, having excellent penetration. That auction is expected to bring in some very serious revenue for whomever is forming the government at the time. But life isn't all happy windfalls.

Canada's economy lost 55,200 jobs in July compared to the previous month with many people leaving the work force -- the worst single-month drop since the recession of the early 1990s.

Oh but just ignore that. Canada's New Government is on the job with reckless increases in spending, big drops in revenue and a sliding dollar. Still, we climbed back out of the deficit that we ran up over the first two months of the fiscal year. So all is well.

Canadian Labour Congress President Ken Georgetti, however, calls the numbers a catastrophe for working families. He says in a statement that the federal government needs a forceful jobs strategy -- a made-in-Canada plan to create and keep jobs in this country.The only significant job gains were in accommodation and food services, where 22,000 people were hired across the country.

Fookin' commies. Prolly a bunch of them failed artsies that don't contribute or nothin' and just leech off the taxpayers.

Arts and culture contributed $46 billion to Canada's economy in 2007, but the overall impact of the sector was a much broader $84.6 billion, according to a report from the Conference Board of Canada.That amounts to 7.4 per cent of Canada's gross domestic product, according to the report, released Tuesday.The study, commissioned with money from the federal Heritage Department, is the most comprehensive ever made of Canada's cultural sector.It attributes 1.1 million jobs to arts and culture or to spinoff industries, such as tourism.

The "flaming disaster" Stewart is referring to? A .6% reduction in projected economic growth. That's right -- a whole 60% of a single percentage point.

Would anyone like to explain to Twatsy the actual significance of revising the outlook for Canada's GDP growth from 1.7 per cent down to 1.1? No, really, give it a shot. The entertainment value would be worth it.

SACRAMENTO -- Cindy McCain, wife of Sen. John McCain, is headed to the Republic of Georgia, where tensions between the government and Russia have sparked international concern and have become an issue on the presidential campaign trail...

McCain spokeswoman Jill Hazelbaker confirmed Cindy McCain is enroute to the nation and said she is visiting as part of the World Food Program. She said she will meet with Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili and visit with wounded Georgian soldiers.

I'm guessing that the same folks who could never stop shrieking about Hillary Clinton getting involved in Bill's work will have no problem in having someone who isn't even president sending his wife into a politically-charged part of the world out of sheer political opportunism. Because, you know, that's different.

"It's not about abortion!", howled Canada's dumbshit-o-sphere for months on end. "It's got nothing to do with trying to sneak in abortion restrictions through the back door, or granting extra rights to fetuses!", they pissed and mewled. "It's only about protecting the precious fetuses, and don't you want to do that?" they lied plaintively.

"We've heard criticism from across the country, including representatives of the medical community, that Mr. Epp's bill as presently drafted could be interpreted as instilling fetal rights. Let me be clear. Our government will not reopen the debate on abortion," Mr. Nicholson said.

"For this reason ... I'm announcing that the government will introduce legislation that will punish criminals who commit violence against pregnant women but do so in a way that leaves no room for the introduction of fetal rights."

Which is as clear an admission as we're going to get that that's what it was about all along.

So, wankers ... we were right, and you were full of shit all this time. Quelle surprise.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Uh oh. Here's hoping Suzie All-Caps has an adult diaper to pull over her head because there'll be no stemming the flow of tears and snot. Bill C-484, the kicking abortion's ass bill, passed away quietly over the weekend. Mourners are recognized by their large, lurid placards, incessant demands for dominion over the bodies of others and by the whiff of piddle that hangs about them. Rumours of a large number of organizations and their massive polls are greatly exaggerated.

C-484 had suffered, since being loosed by Ken Epp, from an underlying case of dishonesty. That was compounded when foet-o-fetishists exposed the wedgislation to the cruel light of scrutiny after letting their true intentions slip. Recent fears of a possible election have caused the Prime Minister to rein in his team's true agenda for the sake of ambition and electability. It seems inevitable that after the removal of the CPC feeding tube, the misshapen bill would slip away.

I find David Byrne a hit and miss songwriter but when he's good, he's brilliant. His old pal Brian Eno has created a legacy of influence, quietly informing music and musicians with an almost invisible serenity. He helped shape Bowie's emergence as a post-Ziggy avant art rocker, turned the dials for artists as disparate as Robert Fripp, U2 and Daniel Lanois. Here's a stream of their latest album. Dig it if you will kids.

Personally, I find eugenics repugnant. But the elimination of “undesirables” is done everyday in this country– through abortion. 85-90% of Down Syndrome’s fetuses are aborted. People refuse to parent children who are genetically undesirable.

Quite so, SUZANNE ... because only conservatives have the self-sacrificing nobility to nobly self-sacrifice for the damaged children. Oh, wait ... no, they don't:

Consider, too, that the children currently available for adoption in Canada are disproportionately burdened with problems of one kind or another. Many suffer from physical problems such as fetal alcohol syndrome. Many are toddlers, or even older children, not infants, who have been seized from abusive homes by Children’s Aid Societies and made wards of the state by the courts. Would-be parents may be unwilling to take on the extra challenges that such children pose, but would happily take on the care of an uninjured, pre-born baby without undesirable psychological baggage.

If that intelligence-based eugenics program ever came to pass, SUZANNE should be the first one in line never allowed to have children again. But I'm guessing you didn't need me to explain that.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

This whole "fixed" election date fiasco is generating just buckets of entertainment, and no one is more entertaining than official Stephen Harper fluffer Sandy Crux, who is adamant that the new rule clearly doesn't apply to Yo, Harper! because, well, something to do with having a minority or something.

(16) Fixed Election Dates — An Act to Amend the Canada Elections Act (Bill C-16), passed May 3, 2007 (Link) is an Act primarily for majority governments since minority governments can fall at almost any time when the opposition express a lack of confidence in the government. (Revised August 24, 2008)

Pause.

What the fuck does that drivel even mean?

So Sandy wants to claim first that the new law applies only "primarily" to majority governments? But that obviously means that it does not apply exclusively to majority governments -- as in, it also applies (even if not "primarily") to minority governments as well. In other words, it applies (and try to follow me here) to all Canadian governments.

See how that works? Did you follow that? Please tell me you followed that because I really don't want to have to explain it a second time. In short, using Sandy's own prose, we can conclude that the vaunted Fixed Election Law applies to, well, everyone.

But wait. That can't be right.

Because, as you can see, Sandy links to the National Post, which takes the position that the legislation is, in fact, not binding at all. And why is Sandy doing this? Because, Sandy, being one of the stupidest Ph.Ds on the planet, is desperately trying to defend Dear Leader from the accusation of breaking his promise, and the only way she can do this is to contend that that legislation does not, in fact, stop Stephen Harper from calling a snap election.

Which means (and we're almost there) that Sandy, in leaping from Stephen Harper's genitals to his defense, must (and let me stress this, must) take the position that the legislation has no actual power. And yet, having now clearly staked her entire argument on the claim that the legislation is, in fact, non-binding, she continues to claim that it still represents an "accomplishment." Go figure.

You read that right, boys and girls — Stephen Taylor’s co-admin Craig Smith thinks promoting eugenics via a points system, which he oh-so-helpfully lays out along with suggested financial bonuses, is just what society needs.

Not surprisingly, the latest Canadian wanky meme is that Stephen the Rotund does too have the legal right to call an election, as long as you allow an excruciating and mind-numbing parsing of the actual legislation. And while there is so much more that can (and will) be written on this topic, all of this weaselly, right-wing dodging, weaving and tap dancing does bring up a simple question. To wit:

If Stephen Harper does, in fact, have the legal right to call an election, does Governor-General Michaelle Jean have a similar and legal right to say "no"?

It really is a simple yes/no question, isn't it? And I have already pointed out how the very same legislation that Canada's wanks are currently jerking off to very clearly uses the word "discretion" with respect to the Governor-General.

So, wankers, your opinions, if you would. As I have already made clear, this is a simple yes-or-no question based on nothing more than a careful examination of the very same legislation you are all currently drooling over. And it would be ever so delightful if you could answer it with a simple "yes" or "no", and not with an outraged, illogical diatribe involving phrases such as "unusual", "shocking", "unprecedented", or "that fucking, Haitian voodoo princess black bitch nigger who should go back where she came from." Or anything of the sort -- I think you get my drift.

Well? Yes or no? Here at CC HQ, the lines are open and operators are standing by to call Patrick Ross a dink.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Our precious Cons like to beep and squeak with mighty gusts from their hindward breezers about the power and certitude of the free market, solution to all of life's troubles. Anyone who has the will to look, has seen that indeed the market does act swiftly and surely when confronted with economic news, either dire or delighting. When a company exceeds projections there are bonuses and dividends, celebration and a commensurate increase in share value. Conversely, when a company fails to meet projections, loses ground and stumbles, well, that is when the heads roll, stock values tumble and the wolves begin to circle. That is when those that pilot the ship of commerce are vulnerable and likely to be tossed overboard.

Finance Minister Jim Flaherty fell in line with private economists Friday and cut his outlook for economic growth this year.Mr. Flaherty used his department's monthly fiscal update to announce that the federal government has revised its working estimate for growth to 1.1 per cent from the 1.7 per cent forecast in the February budget.

In the actual free market, a drop of that scale in projections would be a flaming disaster. Flaherty has played at cutting taxes, thus diminishing revenues all as the American and global economies turned sour. Difficult to practice foresight with one's head tucked up the nether tube. That's the trouble with blinkered ideologues like Flaherty. All evidence to the contrary they will do what will not work because they are believers. Faith has never been kind to the foolish. Canada is now likely to record a budgetary deficit for the first time in over ten years. Any self respecting CEO would have tossed the ambulance chasing fool out onto the sidewalk and beaten him with a stapler for screwing the simple shit up, spend less than you bring in.

Mike Harris failed Ontario, a failure in which Jim Flaherty was instrumental. He proved to be a shifty, miniature suckweasel during that ugly reign and now Flaherty has moved onward and upward to suck and to fail on the big stage. Flaherty was among the furthest right of Harris's gang of used car salesmen. He seems right at home among Harper's pack of Canada hating miscreants. Flaherty was behind the scheme to give tax credits to Ontario parents for sending their little Bobbies and Betties to private and religious schools. He was only too happy to undermine his own provincial government's education policies and give the shank to then Ontario Minister of Education Janet Ecker.

Flaherty is a theocon loon. Among his past clever plans, making homelessness illegal. As Harris's financial wizard, he wanted to privatize the LCBO, one of the province's success stories. Not only are alcohol products highly profitable, the provincial monopoly helps fill the coffers and allows for better enforcement of sales restrictions at the retail level. He couldn't be a true Con if he weren't trying to fix the unbroken. Flaherty is also in bed (so to speak) with the fetus fetishists and is a vocal supporter of anti-choice. As a socon fundie bastard, Flaherty is not a friend of sex but that didn't stop him from boning income trust investors. How is it that a guy this wrong, this often is in one of the most important portfolios in government? It really is okay to be an utterly helpless fuckwit if you're a Con.

I’ll admit I raised an eyebrow when I read that the Tories may be thinking of initiating an election before the now infamous October 2009 date. It seemed to me that doing so would be going against the fixed election date law that had been passed very early on in their mandate.

And, yes, that is what we sane people are actually thinking. Fortunately, right-wing reasoning steps in and saves the day:

However, I’ve since realized something.

And that's when I stopped reading. No, seriously, that's when I stopped reading.

78 civilians are reported dead following joint operations by American and Afghan National Army commandos. As with any such news there are questions, denials and counter claims. American spokespeople tried to diminish and dismiss the claim.

Originally the coalition said the battle killed 30 militants, but U.S. coalition spokeswoman Rumi Nielson-Green said Saturday that five civilians — two women and three children connected to the militants — were among the dead.

"Obviously there's allegations and a disconnect here. The sooner we can get that cleared up and get it official, the better off we'll all be," said U.S. coalition spokesman 1st Lt. Nathan Perry. "We had people on the ground."

Given the American failure of credibility over the last few years of ill considered warfare, friendly fire casualties, torture and administration lies, I am somewhat more receptive to the claims of the folk cleaning up the mess.

Ghulam Azrat, 50, the director of the middle school in Azizabad, said he collected 60 bodies Friday morning after the bombing.

"We put the bodies in the main mosque," he told The Associated Press by phone, sometimes pausing to collect himself in between tears. "Most of these dead bodies were children and women. It took all morning to collect them."

Azrat said villagers on Saturday threw stones at Afghan soldiers who tried to give food and clothes to them. He said the soldiers fired into the crowd and wounded eight people, including one child critically wounded.

A girl gets parachuted in to help save a bid and ends up working three straight weeks of 16+ hour days and for what? So Big Daddy and his merry band of in-and-out fuckwits could dump the announcement that the project had been scuttled late Friday night in the futile hope that no one would notice? Nice try, you smug, arrogant, accountability for me but not for thee jackass.

The Conservative government has quietly scuttled the navy's $2.9 billion project to replace its aging supply ships, saying bids from the shipbuilding industry were "significantly" higher than the money set aside for the program.

It has also cancelled a tender call for the purchase of 12 mid-shore patrol ships for the coast guard.

The decisions were announced in a statement issued at 8:30 Friday night by Public Works Minister Christian Paradis.

"These vessels are a key priority of the Government of Canada," Paradis said in the release. "However, the government must ensure that Canadian taxpayers receive the best value for their money."

And would you like to know why they weren’t receiving "best value for their money"? Probably because they completely ignored the suggested budget after their consultations with industry. After all, who knows better — those fools who build ships or Big Daddy?

Almost right from the beginning the plan ran into trouble as designers tried to incorporate everything into the ships that naval planners had requested.

The ships were expected to function as resupply vessels, cargo carriers for the army, a floating headquarters and possibly a hospital ship, depending upon the mission assigned.

Defence sources say the two consortiums that were bidding basically determined the ships could not be built for the amount of money the Conservative government had set aside.

Within the navy proposals were kicked around to cut the number of ships to two, but it was ultimately determined not to be practical from an operational point of view, said the sources who spoke on background.

Well, barring any alternate reality imposing itself, Joe Biden would appear to be the older, whiter half of the Democratical ticket that is busily scrambling toward the imaginary centre in the current American preznitial election. I've had a quick jog through some of the bigger political sites from our southern pals on the left and the consensus seems to be that at least it wasn't Satan. He didn't pick Satan. It could have been Satan. Or Joe Lieberman. Biden appears to be receiving a welcome worthy of a desperate compromise at best and a drunken night of regret at worst.

Some of the same folks that screamed at me for questioning the ascendance of Barack Obama are now kicking their toes in the dirt and rationalizing the choice of Biden as his running mate. He's the attack dog, he was mean to Giuliani, he's older and whiter and Catholic. A lot of the commentariat appear to be trying to convince themselves that it isn't a sell out, crap waffle of a choice and more than a few are spitting in disgust. Way to go hopes, dreams and ponies ticket!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Be about 22 years ago that his high school band was opening for me after we snuck them into the Level 21. He had all the talent in the world and he's matured into a truly superb songwriter and performer. Buy some of his records or go dig his show live, you will not be disappointed.

We haven’t done one of these in a while, so just in case you’ve forgotten the rules, your answers in the comments if you please.

1) Favourite Marilyn Monroe film and why.

2) Favourite science fiction film and why.

3) And, just to change things up, name your favourite song from a musical.

Me first.

1) I’m going to break my own rule and name two — Bus Stop and How to Marry a Millionaire. The first because her portrayal of Cherie, the hillbilly, wanna-be showgirl, was so very sad in some ways. And the second because her portrayal of ditsy, nearsighted, model Pola was just hilarious

2) While some would argue that it’s not "classic sci-fi", I’m going to say Blade Runner — Ridley Scott’s dark, dystopian and somewhat prophetic view of the future. With its overcrowded street scenes and neverending rain, a by-product of pollution and global warming, it’s almost oppressively claustrophobic and is, without doubt, one of the most interesting and clever films I’ve ever seen. Harrison Ford’s portrayal of Rick Deckard was such a dramatic departure from Han Solo that at times it almost felt like it wasn’t the same actor. And Rutger Hauer was just brilliant as Roy Batty, the violently intelligent, "more human than human" leader of the renegade replicants trying desperately to live just a little longer.

3) While I’ve never been a huge fan of the musical genre (it’s just too weird), this song from Funny Girl has always appealed to me since the first time I heard it years ago.

The Harper government's new lobbying law contains a truck-sized loophole that allows a registered lobbyist to arrange a meeting between a corporate client and a cabinet minister that might never have to be disclosed publicly.

Ooopsie. You know what’s even more unfortunate? Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition was asleep at the switch. Again.

Opposition MPs who vetted the new rules as the government's flagship accountability act passed through Parliament in 2006 failed to notice the provision in committee hearings or House debate.

Now guess who figured it out. No, really — guess.

The loophole was drawn to the attention of lobbyists themselves during a workshop on the law presented by Michael Nelson, the former registrar of lobbyists, as he outlined scenarios for new monthly reporting requirements under the act.

Other aspects of the reporting rules have already been criticized for excluding too much information, but the loophole in a clause involving the reporting of arranged meetings took even lobbyists by surprise.

Hilarious, wouldn't you agree? If, you know, by hilarious I mean colour me so not shocked at the flaming hypocrisy that infests every part of Big Daddy's government.