Behavioral Cents Blog

Money-Life Balance means taking money off a pedestal, and putting your happiness on it. It means fulfilling your life, instead of pursuing the almighty dollar. It means spending enough to enjoy life today, and saving enough to enjoy life tomorrow. So, what does money life balance look like? Since it is different for each of us, how do we begin to think about that balance for ourselves?

This is THE YEAR you want to get on top of your cash. GREAT! The worst thing you can do is start with a budget. What? Really? Why? (and secretly, you’re probably thinking Yay!!). Money is not logical. Money is fraught with emotion. And if you force yourself to do something you “should” be doing, you will find some zillion reasons not to do it. Then you’ll feel bad because you “should” be doing it but aren’t, and you’ll start judging yourself, and then feel like a failure. You’ll quit.

I try to add value to your money-life balance in each of my blogs. Today, I'm taking a different tack to help you with that same balance by highlighting an event valuable to all of my entrepreneur followers in the Tri-state area.

First of all, I say that it’s important because it really is. And why? Because I believe that nobody has ever presented an event quite like this. An event that is not only chock full of cutting edge strategy but introduces you to the subtle art of leveraging your effort, time and success. It is called:

“Judgment by Your Peers Sucks”. This phrase comes from The Feel Rich Project,by Michael F. Kay, CFP. And it could apply to so many things. Michael talks about how this fear of being judged drives what we eat, what we wear, what we own. And let’s face it, most of us have it to some degree – but does it fuel your need to spend to keep up a façade?

I’ve been in financial services for almost 30 years. I have friends who see a big house with new cars outside, and think Wow! Those people are wealthy. They have everything. But often that’s not true. I see a huge mortgage, leased cars, credit cards with balances on them – and wishful thinking that someday things will work out.

The stress and anxiety associated with not having enough to pay the bills is often discussed with heartfelt empathy. Do you know that savers often have money anxiety as well? It’s a misconception that all savers are good at putting away money because they’re financially savvy, and that they’re at peace with the world. Some blindly save and save and save, because they fear running out of cash, or making a bad decision that will erase all of their hard work. That fear is fueled if they don’t have measurable goals to compare what they have versus what they think they’ll need. Fear is often much larger than the actual problem.

Fear is uncomfortable, and unwelcome in our lives. Centuries ago it kept us alive. Now, it’s more about emotional failure or social exposure. How then do we overcome a fear, and face our current situation head-on?

Introducing Jenny Powers, the bubbly, energetic and successful creator of Running with Heels, a women’s networking group in NYC. While in Vegas vacationing with her family, Jenny had the opportunity to go zip-lining. It was on Jenny’s bucket list – the same list many of us have – adventure, making peace with those we love, and conquering something we’ve always been afraid to tackle.

Yep, it’s that season again. And it’s stressful. Often the paperwork is more daunting than the actual check we may have to write; and psychologically the agitation we imagine is often much greater than reality. It’s natural to bristle at “administrivia” and avoid submitting our taxes until the very last minute. So before you read further, STOP. Once you read the next sentence you'll be tempted to move on. Remember the pain you just felt, or are still feeling about your taxes? Prepare to change your behaviors for the future. Here are some tips NOW to make next year easier.

People often use the phrase “If I could just make enough money life would be better”. It’s a myth for most of us other than those who spend every penny on food and rent to survive. Why? Because this is a money attitude, not a money fact. And money attitudes stay with us until we experience a life-changing event that changes our perspective, or we deliberately work on changing that belief. Andrew Caspersen, Wall Street millionaire demonstrates the point.

Meet Allan Liwanag, Twitter handle @PracticalSaver living in the state of Maryland. Allan has graciously allowed me to interview him about his money beliefs and behaviors. Allan is an avid saver but he didn’t come by it naturally. Here is his story.

Allan is a husband and father of one child. He and his wife are committed to having her stay at home with their little one for now. So he is the chief bread winner. His family is very important to him, and they weave a common thread through many of his thoughts. He seems very grounded in what truly matters in life.

Financial denial can be so harmful to my clients. It works in the background, and often goes unnoticed until it's too late. What is denial? It’s a defense mechanism we use to protect ourselves from unpleasant emotions and thoughts. Defense mechanisms are not only important to our emotional survival, but necessary. With all of the disturbing news coming at us every day (climate change, global economic crises, terrorism), we need a defense to fight the overwhelming chaos of the world. The challenge is when defense mechanisms become the only means we have to deal with difficulties; and when it comes to our finances denial is a ticking time bomb.