May 6, 2009

The house of cards starts to fall....

Over the past few years people have speculated and looked for "reasons" or that one incident that turned one owner toward the courts for resolution. I don't think there was ever any one incident, or point when that course of action became the breaking point. Instead, it was more like a series of events and the right (or wrong) mix of personalities that eventually went south.

The mix of generations as owners was difficult for certain parties to "deal" with. Not terribly uncommon, nor was it any reason to take the action that was chosen. It could have worked. Everything could have worked out if all parties wanted it to work. Over the years, the group of owners would occassionally meet to discuss various needs, projects, etc. in maintaining the cottage. These meetings, for the most part were not usually productive. For some reason, there was a "majority rule" sense of how things should be managed. Majority rule doesn't work and it doesn't have any legal standing as far as estate law. When three owners can't all agree, nothing happens. That was status quo for many many years.

From Saving the Family Cottage, the author Stuart J. Hollander, Esq. outlines a number of "truths" and facts of estate law. "Heirs who co-own the cottage have a say in its operation and maintenance, but (to the susprise of many of my clients) co-ownership does not mean majority rule. A co-owner doesn't need anyone's permission to make a change to the cottage as long as those changes would not be viewed by a court as destructive or damaging.

Real estate law does not establish a standard of maintenance for the cottage, so if the heirs cannot agree upon the way a cottage is to be kept, its condition either drops to the lowest common denominator of care or the heir with the higher standard personally pays for the extra care."

I would hazard a guess here that we fell into the first category...dropping to the lowest common denominator of care.

A number of years ago, actually the last meeting of the "owners" was held and it seemed at the time that it was a great step in the right direction to setting mutually agreed priorities, creating a list of "improvement projects" and prioritizing these items. Everyone left feeling satisfied that finally everyone seemed to be on the same page. Ha.

The "list" was found on the counter in the pink bathroom after having been ignored, tossed aside and new dock sections were made and put in. That wasn't on the list. The floor in the pink bathroom was falling in, but someone else decided they wanted a longer dock. Who paid for these dock sections, the owners.

Katy and I were at the cottage that spring. The front door was down to the wood with peeling paint everywhere. The weather was not conducive to a day on the dock so we went to the hardware store, bought some paint and proceeded to scrape, prime and paint the front door. So what if we chose red. It's a nice color, it is welcoming and the place needed a bit of brightening up. Oddly, Katy's brother Stu and his wife had come up that weekend and it was discussed with them and we all thought red was a good choice. Apparently one owner doesn't like red. He saw red. Oh boy did he go off. I mean, GO OFF. On everyone. I thought he was going to have a stroke right there on the spot. HE decided that the door MUST be green and promptly made arrangements for it to be repainted immediately after we left. (I'm not sure who paid for that..probably came out of the joint account but who would know since the accounting for that account..well.. there isn't any accounting for that.)

Was the Red Door a turning point? Don't think so. Just another incident in a long line of little differences of opinion. "Playing well with others?"...well, I think we know who has difficulties with that one.

So, the next shoe dropped in the form of an e-mail to my mother. I'll let my brother take the next round on "what happened behind the Red Door".

5 comments:

Anonymous
said...

You know, this is very interesting because it also occurred to me that you have a brother- and two sisters as owners at one point. In the case of the Lees, David clearly didn't start the "bully routine" until after Mr. Lee died. He is abusing and pushing around women, his own sisters. I find this absolutely pathetic.

Yes, it was an interesting dynamic for a number of years. For a while there, David and Henry sort of tagged team against mother. When Henry died, Katy and Stu became (again)rightful owners. (It was left to them by their mother)..another story..but... yes, he has a bully problem with women....

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. These are things we don't know we don't know.

Really.....

Government does not create jobs or wealth. It leeches off productive people and institutions. At the moment, the leeches are sucking the host dry and rapidly killing prosperity and wealth in this country. And dooming us to a much, much worse economy in the very near future.

"Never argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. - Winston Churchill