Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Columbia MO SantaCon 2009 After Action Review

OK all you drunks out there in InterNets land, if you haven’t yet please go out to a SantaCon before you die. If you enjoy drinking, carousing, and dressing like Santa then it should be right up your alley. If you hate those things, then I suppose you are up poo poo creek.

On Friday 12/18/2009 in Columbia MO we kicked off the evening at McNalley’s. We walked in at 9 pm expecting a large crowd of Santas… But alas we were the only ones! At that point the five of us started wondering if we were stood up by flaky Santas. It would not have been that surprising. But luck be on our side, by 9:15 more Santa’s started pouring in. At 10 pm after many beers and a nip of scotch from my new girly birthday present/pink leopard skin flask (thanks Kara! That was some mighty fine scotch!), we moved onto our next stop.

Flatbranch! Now Flatbranch is one of my favorite places to eat in Columbia. It is a microbrewery that serves its own version of Americana Pub Food. It for sure one of the treasures of Columbia. Is it a place for drunk Santas to make fools of themselves? Not really. I felt out of place there and was itching to move on. (And a creepy Columbia Tribune photographer took my picture while I was peeing. Seriously, what's up with that peervy creep?)

Next up was Addison’s. Addison’s is also one of my favorite eateries in town (see a trend here? I love the dining options in downtown Columbia) I cannot say enough good things about their American fusion menu other than that you have to have a New Belgium beer there while you try their Nachos Bianca. Go ahead, go now. I’ll wait. Back now? Good, wasn't it? Back to the story: At that point in the night your boozey blogger had to switch to club soda, even though we were just 1 ½ hours in. I know, I’m a weak Santa.

At 11 pm we made out way to Back Alley Bar. That made Santa feel old. I do not do particularly care for poorly lit dance clubs with loud music. I like comfy chairs with a glass of nice booze and conversation with friends. So I was pleased when we moved on. 11:30 we attacked Tellers. They seemed happy to see us there, and someone tagged the bathroom with graffiti. That was not cool. Santa does not condone such hooliganism. Is there no help for a widows son?

Midnight found us wandering to our next drinking hole. On the way I ran into the bassist for Common Era (The coolest Joy Division cover band ever). I was ready to stay and drink with them, but an attractive reindeer pushed me towards our next stop instead. Rag Tag Cinecafe’ has a new location nearish to Eastsides Tavern and they put a big bar in front of it. I know, makes sense right? Huge bar in a movie theater? But it was perhaps the most fun of all the locations so far. Perhaps that had something to do with the fact I had been drinking for three hours…

Finally at 12:30 I got to meet up with my non-Santa (read slightly lame) friends at Eastsides. Sadly, they had stopped serving beer when we arrived. Happily they were stills serving shots! Whiskey and Jaeger for this Santa! Sal Nuccio, the owner of the bar, also slipped BOGO drink coupons into our pockets at one point in the night! Go Sal! He has my vote in the 2010 vote for the mayor of Columbia. Seriously go to his facebook event page and check it out!

(**Editor's note: The reporter of this peice was apparently in no condition to tell time. He apparently got to Eastsides after 1 am! He has been written up for sloppy reporting. OOOPS***)

At 1 AM the night finally ended and we tried to get in line at El Ranchos. Only some of our party got in. Oh well. We retired to my new Columbia residence with El Ranchos and quickly fell asleep with dreams of sugar plums dancing in our heads. The first SantaCon in Columbia was a rousing success! Thanks Liz for organizing.

This man will be our next president one day.

Postscript: What do hung over Santas do the next day? Champagne and Red Bull. It’s the mimosas of the future.

4 comments:

Hey Bro thanks for the support but your time frame is off (I understand you were hammered by then) But Santacom did not make it to Eastside untill 1:10 am and was hesitant to belly up for last call so I had to at least offer shots because they're quiker to drink so we woldn't have people standing around with a half full beer past bar time at 1:30am. I just don't want anybody to think we stop serving beer at 12:30 that's all. We're actually are very intuned to the crowed and base last call on the amount of people in the bar at the time. In the case of Santacom (being we love you so much) we stretched the last call threshold to the last minute legall possible.

WHOOPS, our sincerest apologies. We never meant to denigrate your AWESOME bar. I have spoken with the staff reporter and he apolgizes for losing track of time. I understand he got into the spirit of things and had too much eggnogg that night, making him incapable of taking proper notes. We have made a correction in the story.

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