A spokesman for Kinder today has gained notoriety for publicly not giving a fuck as opposed to their corporate stance of privately not giving a fuck.

​Kevin McBastard told the assembled press "They're thinking of suing us? Are they fucking kidding me, do those fucking trailer trash mongoloids realise what the street value of that meth was? By my reckoning they owe us $60 and if they don't pay up soon, I'll be personally suing them!

McBastard continued "To be completely honest the blame for this lies squarely at the feet of two sets of people. The parents of that child, because who lets their kid eat a Kinder surprise? Those toys are designed to choke kids, and if they did eat it, it's probably healthier than the fucking chocolate. And the media, for reporting on this non story. The headlines shouldn't have been Kinder do bad thing, it should have been ghetto child buys drugs, again!"

McBastard's meltdown is only the second time on record a corporate representative has given this little of a fuck. The first the famous 1995 incident when Bill Gates told reporters it was "tough shit" if customers didn't like all PCs coming with Windows 95 and that Apple could "suck on this super computer". Steve Jobs was unavailable for comment when contacted, because he is dead.