Sublime Emergencies

On call last night in ED (A&E for non-US readers!). People wonder how US healthcare costs can be so ridiculously high wrt OECD averages, yet the average health outcomes of the population can be so shockingly poor wrt other OECD countries. Here are some of the actual “Chief Complaints” as recorded by triage nurses:

Pt found naked at a porn store after being down for an unknown time, arrives with blood around perioral area.