■ Theresa Brancatisano (left), Helen Wentworth, Michelle Tanner, Francesca Ferra-Macri and Margaret Rawlinson
rehearse for Scrubbers, opening at the Strathmore Community Centre on May 31. Photo: Cenarth Fox
Strathmore Theatrical Arts Group is presenting the all-female musical Scrubbers from May 31 – June 9 at the
Strathmore Community Centre, Cnr Loeman and Napier Sts, Strathmore. Written and directed by Cenarth Fox,
Scrubbers tells a heart-warming tale of five women who find happiness when cleaners join a chorus line.
Each woman has a sadness in their life which disappears, thanks to an amazing activity and the bond of
friendship which they have established. Performances: May 31, June 1, 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, at 8.00pm, June 3 at 2.00pm.
Tickets: $20 Adult, $16 Concession. Group discounts are available Bookings: 9382 6284 or www.stagtheatre.org.au

OBSERVER READERS CLUB - TURN TO PAGE 30

Page 2 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 23, 2012

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au
Melbourne

Observer

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 23, 2012 - Page 3

Breaking News

It’s All About You!

Melbourne

CORRUPTION ALLEGED BY Observer
‘VEXATIOUS LITIGANT’
In This 88-Page Edition

Mother of all shows

● Demetrios Sirilas in the Red Stitch Actors Theatre production at St Kilda
■ The Australian premiere of The tify all kinds of self-serving behaviour.
Motherf**ker With The Hat is being presented
The Motherf**ker With The Hat will feaat the Red Stitch Actors Theatre, St Kilda ture guest actors Demetrios Sirilas,
from June 8 – July 7.
Michelle Vergara Moore, Adam
Written by Stephen Adly Guirgis and directed McConvell, Christina O’Neill and Mark
by David Bell, the story tells of addicts Jackie Casamento.
and Veronica being hooked on alcohol, drugs
Previews: June 6, 7
and even their own relationship.
Season: June 8 – July 7 (not Monday or
Now, 20 years on, they can’t seem to quit Tuesday)
each other, no matter how squalid their lives
Times: Wednesday – Saturday, 8pm; Sunhave become.
days 6.30pm. Matinees: Saturdays at 4pm
Nothing can come between them – except a
Bookings: www.redstitch.net (discounted
hat. Playwright Guirgis draws on the flawed tix) or 9533 8083
nature of men and women, their fragile moral
Tickets: $20- $39 ($15 student rush)
codes and appetite for addiction, taking aim at
Venue: Red Stitch Actors Theatre, Rear 2
the 12-step psychological doctrines of recov- Chapel St, St Kilda.
ery programs and how their adherents can jus- Cheryl Threadgold

Two cops arrested
■ Two north-western Police
officers in Melbourne have
been arrested.
A male Leading Senior
Con-stable has been charged
with misconduct in a public office, trafficking a drug of dependence, possessing a drug of
dependence, conspiracy to pervert the course of justice and
several counts of unauthorised
information access and disclosure.

He has been suspended from
duty with pay and has bailed to
appear at Melbourne Magistrates’ Court on August 6.
Another policeman, a Senior Constable, has been interviewed, and released pending summons. He has been suspended from duty with pay.
Two civilians have been
charged, and are due to face
Court on August 6. The Police ESD is investigating.

Mike McColl Jones

Top 5
THE TOP 5 SIGNS
THAT THE GREEK ECONOMY
IS IN TROUBLE
5. Souvlakis are being sold with black arm-bands.
4. The Greek government is borrowing money
from the Bank of Nigeria.
3. Swan Street is half-mast.
2. Con the Fruiterer is shopping in Lygon Street.
1. The Greek currency is worth less than toilet paper which is
why the Minister for Finance is known as Zorbent the Greek

■ Complaints about a Supreme Court
judge and allegations of corruption have
been dismissed by Supreme Court
Chief Justice Warren and Judge
Cavanough.
Stanislawa Bahonko made the allegations after her action against Moorfields Community, Bodalla Aged
Care Services, The Uniting Church
in Australia Property Trust Vic and
the Victorian Workcare Authority.
Ms Bahonko lodged the complaints
after her case was heard by County
Court Judge Saccardo. She said the
judge has bias because his associate
Kathy Lambert had previously worked
for Judge Misso, who had bias.
Ms Bahonko accused the Court Tipstaff of abusing her.
“Judge Saccardo was appointed by
Rob Hulls, and Hulls appointed judges
as a rule with an established pattern committed pervision of justice in my matters,”
Ms Bahonko claimed.
Ms Bahonko accused Ms Lambert
of changing her hair colour because a
judge preferred blondes.
Ms Bahonko asked for a Grand
Jury, which do no exist in Victoria.
Ms Bahonko must not now commence legal action without Supreme
Court permission.

Two fingers severed
■ Paramedics treated a man, 52, after he
severed two fingers in an incident at
Hazeldene, north-east of Melbourne.

Reward over shooting
■ Hamilton couple David and Vera
Lynch are offering a $500 reward for information leading to the apprehension of
the person who shot dead an emu this
month in Hamilton Botanic Gardens.

ADVERTISING SALES AGENT
Full-time or part-time. Work from home.
The Melbourne Observer newspaper is expanding, and is appointing an additional Advertising
Sales Agent to its team.
Since it was first published in
1969, the Observer has earned a
reputation as a solid weekly family newspaper, on sale at
newsagents across Victoria.
Over those 43 years, the Observer has become a favourite advertising medium for small-, medium- and large-businesses. Almost 10,000 businesses have
taken ad packages with the Observer in the past 10 years.
We are now seeking another
keen, enthusiastic and talented
Advertising Sales person to join
our team.
The successful applicant will
probably have a background in
sales and customer service, preferably in media, as well as a clear
and positive telephone manner.
The position can be either fulltime, or part-time, and is workfrom-home.

You will need your own home
office, with landline telephone,
computer and e-mail. You will require computer literacy. Local
Media Pty Ltd reimburses telephone call costs.
The position involves the calling on our customers and prospects, and attending to their advertising requirements.
Each day, a complete list of
‘warm’ client calls is e-mailed to
our Advertising Sales Agents, so
your day is spent as productively
as possible.
Payment - which takes the form
of a generous commission - is
weekly. This means your earnings
are not capped. You can start
earning immediately.
You will require an ABN, and
the position is on a contractor
basis.
To discover more about the Advertising Sales Agent position,
contact the Melbourne Observer
office by e-mail, or by phone 1800 231 311.
We will mail you an information package that explains more
about this exciting opportunity.

For more information, contact Ash Long
editor@melbourneobserver.com.au

Page 4 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 23, 2012

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Mark Richardson
♥Straight from the heart

E-Mail: mark@localmedia.com.au

IN MY PANTS: SHOOTING FOR A CAUSE
■ It's not every day you are privileged
to spend time with someone amazing;
someone who lives by the motto of
‘paying it forward’ and is doing it!
I spent time on Peter Coulson's
'Porch' at his photography studio in
Kilsyth where he is creating his first
ever book of his photography works,
In My Pants, with the sole ambition of
raising awareness and $20 million towards the fight against cancer.
Peter has photographed some of
the biggest A-List models around the
world and was awarded the 2011-2012
Australian Fashion Photographer
of the Year, coupled with his many
commercial and fashion photography
accolades, has been inundated by publishers for years to publish a photography book.
Until now Peter has declined all offers, believing any book of his photography would only be of benefit if it
could help change something in the
world.
Having helped families living with
cancer by taking their family portraits,
Peter was profoundly moved and is
now on a mission - set to travel the
world with his camera and his 30 yearold pair of Levi 501s taking semi-nude
simulated portraits of A-List celebrities, cancer fighters/survivors and everyday people touched by cancer to
create over 250 powerful images.
Your concept is already heavily
supported around the world, and
you have the backing of celebrities and OPA Magazine with Dean

Georgio,Steve Agi and other fashion industry professionals, how
did you develop the concept?
I have always used my 501s in my
model training shoots which always
looked cool in photos.
I decided to do a book for something I am passionate about, like helping people fight cancer.
Hopefully I can help change
something with my book. A book isn't
any good without changing something.
A book of just my images won't
change anything.
How did you get the concept
off the ground?
I did some initial photography
shoots with models in my jeans and
created some images and started to
spread the word throughout the fashion industry.
Vicky Papas-Vergara, a designer I work with, approached Tina
Sarantis (pictured) to model just two
days before commencing her treatment for Breast Cancer.
The word continued to spread.
Now I am pushing harder, asking celebrities and models I shoot; "Will you
wear my jeans?" Their enthusiasm
and support has been amazing.
It must have been an extremely emotional shoot for
Tina, how did you relax and
make her feel comfortable under
the circumstances?
I was extremely honoured that
Tina allowed me to shoot her having her hair shaved off in preparation

STUDIO
PORCH THOUGHTS

● Peter Coulson
for her treatment and allowing me to
use her photos in my book. Tina, an
everyday person, in her forties and a
mother of two young children with beautiful long hair, was facing the reality of
having her head shaved that she would
lose during her chemo treatment.
Most people coming into a big studio are feeling insecure anyway and
Tina was about to be photographed on
a really bad day for her, and being photographed simulated topless and wearing a pair of old my jeans added to the
reality of her journey ahead.
We talked a lot during the shoot and
we achieved this beautiful, soft, pretty
gorgeous look of her.
What did you say to Tina when
it was time to shave her hair?
Tina's courage was inspiring. Once
anyone has to have their beautiful hair
shaved off for treatment, they realise
they're not in for a good time ahead.
I kept reminding Tina not to hold it
in but to feel what was happening rather
than just sitting there being photographed.
Tina started to think about what was
happening and the positive difference
she was making to help others with
battling cancer.
I reminded her it that this was time
to be strong and Tina realised the photo
was the start of her fight for her life, as
well as for her two young children.
Tina let go and began to relax.
How did Tina feel by the end of
the shoot?
Tina ended up having a great day
and told me I helped turn a really bad
day into a good one. She walked out
feeling good about herself because she
saw how stunning she looked in the
photos. She had fun and really enjoyed
doing it.
Who would you like to appear
most in your book?

● Tina Sarntis: before and (inset) after
It was an amazing event and we
The whole idea of my book is to
raise awareness and money. Celebri- had two amazing women come along
ties have massive pulling power and and had their hair shaved to support
I am hoping our Prime Minister Julia the cause.
In my eyes, they both looked more
Gillard will agree to wear my jeans.
If Julia increases book sales by beautiful with their heads shaved bejust one copy, I will approach her. I cause I believe real beauty is within
have international mega stars appear- anyway. It wasn't initially a
ing in it (but I am not mentioning who fundraising event, but with the support
at this stage) and it's all about selling of OPA Magazine and the two models, we managed to raise money for
books, every dollar counts.
I would also love Her Majesty cancer foundations.
The night created one of those
The Queen to be photographed in my
jeans. Maybe that's a long shot, but I 'good' feelings that money cannot buy.
What is your Porch Thought
will try though.
You were part of a successful of The Day?
fundraiser with MODA in Pay it forward! I would love to hear
Melbourne a few weeks ago rais- from celebrities who would love to be
ing in excess of $30,000 for In My Pants to help the fight against
FROC/Jeans for Genes/Leu- cancer. Email peter@koukei.
kaemia. What does an event like com.au
- Mark Richardson
this mean to you?

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 23, 2012 - Page 5

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au
Melbourne

Observer

Showbiz News

GOLDEN DAYS RADIO EXPANDS

Surprise!

Next To Normal

Briefs
Stolen

■ A companion
dog for a terminally
ill woman has been
stolen from a
Wodonga dog
grooming business.
The owner was so
upset she had to be
admitted to hospital.

Early exit

■ A Court mix-up
is blamed for a 21year-old being released three weeks
early at Heidelberg
Magistrates’ Court.
Christopher Austin was set free
while still serving a
sentence at a juvenile centre.

Vile find
■ Possums have
been found at
Chadstone with
throats slit and tails
chopped.
The gruesome
finds at Batesford
Reser ve have
sparked investigations by officers
from the RSPCA.

● Larry James
■ Melbourne’s Golden Days Radio 95.7 FM is
expanding across Australia.
Retirement and aged care facilities across the nation
can now hear the melodic sounds of the popular station,
thanks to the efforts of an Australian company,
Web2TV.
Larry James, President of Golden Days Radio,
based at Glenhuntly, says the station can now be heard
throughout more than 60 retirement and aged care facilities across Australia. More sites are being added.
The company combines web technology and TV networks allowing retirement and aged gfare facilities to
entertain and communicate with their residents.
Features include daily notices, kitchen menus, photo
boards, community message boards and radio. All of
these features can be broadcast through the TV system
at the facility to the residents own TV sets.
“This important addition can help residents stay connected with the greater community and following requests
from many residents throughout Australia, Golden
Days Radio is pleased to be the default radio station,”
Mr James said.
“ Residents can now hear the great music from the
20s to the 60s plus radio serials, light classical, country,
jazz, dance bands and much more.
“Golden Days listeners can also hear government
initiatives and health and welfare programs in our COTA
Vic and community news programs.”
In addition to its regular broadcasts on 95.7FM,
Golden Days Radio is streamed on the internet through
the website www.goldendaysradio.com

Smile for the camera
■ Manningham Council officers are being
criticised for taking photographs of motorists
believed to be infringing road rules near
school crossings.

PHOTOS: SUE
DEENIM IMAGES

● Natalie Grosby organised a surprise
birthday party for Mark Optiz on Saturday
● Tony Burge, Robbie Medica and Lizzie
Matjacic in Next To Normal, being presented
by Fab Nobs from June 15-30.
Photo: Karl MacNamara
■ Fab Nobs Theatre presents the Victorian nonprofessional premiere of Next to Normal from June
15 - 30 at 33 Industry Place, Bayswater.
Directed by Nicholas Kong, with musical direction by Naomi Osborne, the powerhouse rock
musical features a musical score that surges from
soul-soaring rock to heart-warming ballads.
The show is a painful examination of an ordinary
family trying to deal with the effects of mental illness. Following in the footsteps of hit musicals Rent
and Spring Awakening, this multiple award-winning
smash hit is a brave, powerfully emotional musical
that takes on new territory with a mix of raw energy
and grace.
Performances: June 15, 16, 18, 21, 22, 23, 27,
28, 29, 30 at 8.00pm. Bookings: 0401 018 846
www.fabnobstheatre.com.au

Rodney Campbell,
about claims made in
treating cancer.
Consumer Affairs alleged that statements made
at www.smile.org.au
were misleading or deceptive, and falsely represented that treatments

offered by Operation
Smile were effective in
treating cancer and had scientific support.
Operation Smile admitted making the statements but denied they were
misleading or deceptive.
Supreme Court

Judges Warren, Nettle
and Cavanough, sitting
as the Court of Appeal,
this month affirmed that
statements were misleading or deceptive or likely to
mislead, within the meaning of the Fair Trading Act.
Judge Nettle said:
“By making the impugned
statement, (Operation
Smile) in trade and commerce represented that the
treatments, services, techniques or procedures offered or povided by the
Hope Clinic can cure
cancer, or reverse, stop or
slow its progressl prolong
the life of a person suffering from cancer; benefit
cancer sufferers; were or
are supported by generally
accepted science; were or
are supported by published
research findings; and were
or are evidence based
therapies, and that each of
these representations was
misleading or deceptive or
likely to mislead or deceive within the meaning
of the Fair Trading Act.”
Mr Campbell uses
the title Dr. “He is neither
a medical doctor nor a tenured professor of any Australian or other university.” He was once a dentist.

● Sally Freud with Simon Caskey

● Chap-about-town Christian Wagstaff
joins in the celebrations at Toorak.

Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 23, 2012

On Sunday

● William Barton

■ Master didjeridu
player William Barton
will perform at the
Monash University
Academy of Performing Arts National
Reconciliation
Concert at the
Melbourne Town Hall
on Sunday (May 27) at
2.30 pm. Also appearing
is soprano Deborah
Cheetham. More
details on Page 71.

E-book
■ Angela Pippos is looking to re-launch her book,
The Goddess Ad-vantage: One Year In The
lLife of A Football Worshipper, as an e-book.
It was first released by
Text Publishing.

■ Strike Adult Laser Skirmish teams are participating in the movie-like game at the four venues in Victoria: QV, Bayside, Glen Waverley
and Melbourne Central.
From left: Cameron Meyers, Vivian
Haviland, Lucas Bendt, Candice Williams and
Charles McMahon.
With school holidays just around the corner,
enjoying the Strike centre are Heidi
Schmatloch, Liam McNeill and Jazmin
Schmatloch.

World premiere

● Joel Carnegie
■ Radio man Joel Carnegie is hoping that television
will take him to London. The 3MBS Operations Officer, is a Top 48 finalist of the Kickstart competition
being run in conjunction with the hit TV program The
Voice.
If Joel can attract enough votes to win, he heads off
to the London Business School to study, as well as
travelling to Sydney for the final of The Voice and to
socialise with the judges and contestants.
As a classical music Honours graduate from
Melbourne University, and a communications graduate from Swinburne University, Joel is well placed
as both a practitioner and an administrator in the arts
and media industry to make the most of what he can
learn from people he says are the best in the world at
London Business School.
“As Jimmy Buffett said, 'older and wiser voices can
help find the right path, if you're only willing to listen'.
I'm ready to listen, so that I can find my voice," Joel
said. Readers can vote for Joel by visiting this link:
www.thevoice.com.au/kickstart/finalists
- Julie Houghton

They wash 12,480
guernseys each year
■ Mary Pennington and her husband Alf of Kilsyth
have just been selected to be the Victorian candidates in a campaign to find the families with the toughest washing loads around Australia. They have been
washing around 12,480 guernseys a year – for 19 years.
The couple are putting a new 10kg Panasonic washing machine through its paces.The average family load
is 32kg weekly, but the Penningtons have been doing four times this volume with their footy jumpers.
Most families underestimate their washing times.
“It’s interesting how much washing the average Australian family actually does – even an extra two loads a
week can mean up to four extra hours spent doing
washing,” says Prue O’Loan, Product Marketing Manager, Panasonic Australia.
Mary Pennington is interested to see how the extra
capacity loads will free up her time to help with other
things at the club.
“At the moment I spend a lot of time washing. We
will easily go through four sets of 30 jumpers twice a
week – that works out to be about 237,000 since I
started volunteering.”

● Simon Myers
■ Theatrical producer Simon Myers is in
the news this week after leaving performers
and others out of pocket after two of his companies went belly up.
Melbourne performer Rhonda Burchmore is $30,000 out of pocket, and publicists
have been left unpaid too.
So ... is Simon already on to his next
project? Bitch hears Simon and/or friends
are involved in a new company called Room
8.
The company is said to be involved with a
new production, Grievous Angel, set to
star Jordie Lane, son of comedienne
Denise Scott. Lane will play Gram Parsons in the live tribute show, due to be
staged at the Athenaeum on July 20.
Four publicists are said to have declined
to do the PR for the show. Late last week,
Melbourne PR agent Rain Fuller released
details of the show about Parsons, ‘the cosmic cowboy’.

■ The Australian Securities and Investments
Commission is urging consumers to be wary of an unlicensed financial services business offering investors
returns of up to 50 per cent.
The investment offer involved investors receiving unsolicited telephone calls from persons purportedly representing Dellingworth Pty Ltd offering the opportunity
to invest in Australian shares traded by Dellingworth
on the investors’ behalf with potential earnings of between 23 per cent and 49 per cent per annum.
Investors were asked to take part in a seven-day, no
obligation, free trial with an investment of $1500.
Investors who accepted the offer were instructed to
deposit their funds into a bank account in the name of
Dellingworth Contract and were provided a user name
and password which gave them access to their investment account on Dellingworth’s website.
Dellingworth does not hold an Australian financial
services licence.
It purports to operate from the Gold Coast in
Queensland. The addresses of Dellingworth’s registered office, its principal place of business and the residential address of the sole director and shareholder are
false.
Further, identification documents, presented by the sole
director when Dellingworth’s bank account was opened,
are also false.
Dellingworth’s website is no longer accessible and
calls to its 1300 telephone number are no longer answered.
ASIC Commissioner Greg Tanzer said investors
needed to be cautious when offered unsolicited investment advice and making some basic checks could save
them a lot of money.
“I urge potential investors to carefully consider all investment opportunities and seek professional advice before making investment decisions,” Mr Tanzer said.
The warning follows ASIC and state and territory police services urging consumers to be alert to investment
fraud, having seen an increase in this activity, predominately based on the Gold Coast (although their registered office might be anywhere in Australia) but investors are targeted all over the country.
In February, unlicensed financial planning business
Golden Sparrow Pty Ltd was wound up following an
application by ASIC to the Supreme Court of
Queensland.
In December, a joint operation between the
Queensland Police Service, the Australian Crime
Commission and ASIC saw multiple search warrants
executed across a number of premises and a call centre
- including on a company known as West Trade - targeting individuals allegedly involved in investment scams.
ASIC’s public warning notice names Anne Jane
Jones of Ashmore, Queensland.

‘DOROTHY’ HITS
PUB BOUNCER

■ A man dressed as
‘Dorothy’ from The Wizard Of Oz has hit a pub
bouncer at Daiseys Hotel, Ringwood.
The impact of the latenight assault saw the security gaurd admitted to St
Vincent’s Hospital for
specialist treatment to nose ● Judy Garland as
and face injuries.
‘Dorothy’ in The
‘Dorothy’ is underWizard Of Oz
stood to have been a guest
at a private fancy dress party being held at the hotel.
Police have spoken to ‘Dorothy’ and are appealing
for witnesses to the altercation. Croydon Police continue to investigate.
● Rain Fuller

Whispers

Face-off
■ Nor thcote
High School is
warning students
and parents about
using social media sites. Assistant
Principal Nick
Murphy has advised students
not to upload photographs.

No bail

Rumour Mill
Hear It Here First

Don’t forget to floss
■ Philips Research
sent out a news release this week with
the statistic that its
studies has shown
that a quarter of Australian people don’t
floss.
There should come
as little surprise. Official statistics show that 24
per cent of men wear dentures. The figure is
19 per cent for women.

■ There is no bail
for Billy-Joe
Matthews, 22, of
Mernda, after
he appeared at
Heidelberg
Court on 27
charges, alleging
burglaries and
vandalism in
Ivanhoe, Heidelberg, Eaglemont,
Bundoora, Watsonia, Yarrambat,
Reser voir and
North Balwyn.

$1.8 mil.

Sigmund to tell all

■ Montsalvat
guardian Sigmund
Jorgensen is set to
tell the story of his father Justus in a book
due to be published
next year.
Siggy has been
trooping around Europe, discovering
some of the secrets of
his father who
founded the art
colony in Eltham.

■ A
private
group is believed
to have signed a
contract to pay
$1.8 million for
the Eltham RSL
property.
● Sigmund
Jorgensen

Change for troubled firms
■ The Australian
Securities and Investments Commission will soon
launch a new website
publishing all insolvency and deregistration notices.
The website will
provide a single point
for searching notices relating to the external
administration and deregistration of companies, currently advertised in the print media.
It will replace the current requirement to publish insolvency-related notices in state or territory newspapers or in the ASIC Gazette.

E-Mail: Editor@MelbourneObserver.com.au

Fakes
■ Counterfeit
$50 notes have
been discovered
at a store in
Balwyn.

Dissolved
■ The ‘Summit
Cabinets’ partnership between
Ashley Spurrell
and Jonathan
Wynn at Lusher
Rd, Croydon has
been dissolved.
Ashley Spurrell
and Lisa Spurrell now jointly
continue to own
and operate the
business.

Page 10 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Visit ‘The Smith’

■ In my quest to get out and explore more of
my Melbourne I headed off to a restaurant
bar in Prahran to meet some mates on a cold
Saturday night,
It is called named The Smith and I loved
it.
Great looking young people, fabulous food,
waiters who were so friendly and so helpful,
and the best atmosphere.
Open for seven lunches and seven dinners,
it is very cool.
The Smith offers all day dining and grazing until late. The globetrotting dishes cover
European classics, South American
flavours and a breadth of Asian styles.
The menu is designed to sample, share or
dine. It’s as flexible as the space and its people.
The accessible menu starts with ‘Mouthfuls from $4.50’, ‘Tastes ‘ all under $20 and
‘Mains’ all under $40.
Daily specials feature the seasons best produce, flexing the kitchen’s creative muscles to
keep both regulars and ‘virgins’ enthused and
enticed.
Located at 213 High St, Windsor (phone
9514 2444), bookings are essential. I will be
going back,
I don’t get a free toaster for saying nice
things about The Smith. They get my wellearned dollars for the most wonderful service
and great ambience.
Decades of experience amongst the staff
shows in the care they gave us on the night.
I highly recommend rugging up and heading to The Smith with mates, I topped the
night off with a brisk walk home along Chapel
St.

How to start the day
■ A must for me these cold mornings is a bowl
of porridge and I was keen to remind myself
that with this cooler weather the importance of
eating a wholesome breakfast.
National Porridge Day is coming on June
1. I highly recommend a bowl of porridge every day.
I started taking the opportunity of giving porridge another go a couple of years back as I
swore off it as a kid.
However, these days so many great cafes
and restaurants around town are dishing up porridge beautifully.
My favourite is Flip Shelton’s five-grain
porridge from the comfort of my own home.
It contains five different grains – the traditional
rolled oats; rye and spelt which are high in protein; triticale and barley which are naturally low
in fat and combined have a delicious nutty flavor.
Flip’s secret is to not cook the porridge,
rather cover ½ cup of porridge with ½ cup boiling water and cover with clingfilm for 10 minutes.
Have a shower and get dressed by which
time the grains have softened sufficiently to
enjoy. However I must say I do like a cooked
porridge.
I have some suggestions passed on to me by
Flip for toppings
Simple: a moat of cold or warm milk (dairy,
soy, rice, oat).
Rush: for those in a rush or want a rush
pour an espresso or ½ cappuccino over the
grains!
Easy: a few sultanas and a sprinkling of
nutmeg.
Traditional: sliced banana, a sprinkling of
cinnamon and a teaspoon of brown sugar.
Crunchy: slivered almonds, a freshly grated
Granny Smith apple and a few currants for
sweetness
Sweet: a wedge of honeycomb stuck in the
middle can bee a cute way of serving porridge
to overnight guests.
Warming: a few pistachios with a sprinkling of cardamom and a drizzle of honey (or
apple concentrate or rice syrup)
My Favourite - Luscious: a few pecans
and some chopped dates.
Tropical: some freshly grated ginger,
shredded coconut, macadamias and honey
makes you feel like you are in paradise.
Protein Punch: a beaten egg (stirred
through one minute before the end of stovetop
cooking) is especially good after a workout.
Healthy: any warm stewed fruit - especially rhubarb, plums or apple is delicious
dolloped on top.
Decadent: for something a little bit
naughty... grate some chocolate on top and
watch it melt into the grains; for something that
is naughty but nice ... stir through a few buds of
chocolate ... for something really really naughty
I bury a Ferrero Rocher in the porridge and
watch my friends and family’s faces light up
when they find their sunken treasure.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

To

Di

I love my job!

For
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

■ Two of my favourite
men celebrate birthdays
this week.
My dear departed
Dad would have been
88 this week. I miss
him every day.
And Bob Dylan
turns 71. It is appropriate that Bob Dylan is
to be awarded the
Presidential Medal of
Freedom by Barack
Obama.
The Medal of Freedom is America’s
highest civilian honour,
presented to individuals
who have made especially meritorious contributions to the security
or national interests of
the United States, to
world peace, or to cultural or significant public or private endeavours.
The awards will be
presented at the White
House.
One of the most influential American
musicians in the 20th
century, Bob is the only
musician on the list to
receive this award
among the 13 people
chosen to receive the
awards by the President.
The list includes as

with leading Melbourne
publicist DI ROLLE

● Bob Dylan: turns 71 this week
tronauts, authors, poli- award. He was named who have flocked to
ticians and more. a Commander dans Paris to form their ‘arDylan released his l’Ordre des Art et tistic personalities’.
Jane brings her infirst album in 1962. des Lettres and reKnown for his rich ceived a Pulitzer comparable artistry of
and poetic lyrics, his Prize Special Citation. the music of Debussy,
Ravel,
work had considerable
Dylan was award- Faure, Piaf,
and other
influence on the civil ed the 2009 National Aznavour
French favourites.
rights movement of the Medal of Arts.
Recorded
in
1960s and has had sigHe has written Sydney and Paris nificant impact on more than 600 songs, An Australian in Paris
America culture over and his songs have been captures on DVD all
the past five decades. recorded more than the energy and exciteHe has won 11 23,000 times by other ment of this critically
Grammys , including artists.
acclaimed show.
a lifetime achievement
Jane will appear at
He continues recording and touring Readings Hawthorn
around the world today. – one of my favourite
Happy Birthday spots to pop in, browse
Dad and Happy Birth- and buy.
day Bob.

■ Just as well I have been eating my porridge
as I caught a dreadful cold during the week. So
much so I had to call the doctor to come to my
house!
I remember as a kid when the doctor came
to my house it was like royalty coming. My doctor came, told me to sleep and drink heaps of
water and don’t wear bed socks to bed! (Something as I have grown older I consider a luxury.)
However I whipped the socks off very quickly
and noticed almost immediately a lot of difference in the way I sleep. I don’t get so hot and
my circulation in my feet seems better!
I even prepared tea and scones for my doctor. I clearly thought I was in an episode of
Downton Abbey or delirious from my fever!
I was playing Mozart when the doctor arrived
I kid you not and he thought it was wonderful.
We discussed at length Mozart’s Symphony
No 41 in C major which is what I was playing,
and my cold for about five minutes.
Speaking of Mozart and tea and scones,
Morning Tea will be served at Melbourne Recital
Centre on Wednesday May 30 from 10.45am
prior to a wonderful concert at 11.30am called
Symphony of the Gods – Mostly Mozart. I will
be there.
It is bound to be a glorious morning. Mozart’s
last symphony is his greatest – a culmination
of his intelligence, musical genius and virtuosity presented on the grandest of scales.
With its shifting moods of jovial good humour
and driving energy. It’s no wonder that this symphony was nicknamed after the king of the
gods.
Mozart’s Olympian powers of creation reach
their peak in a finale where melodies ecstatically intertwine in masterly polyphony.
The ‘Paganini of the Double Bass’ 19th century virtuoso Giovanni Bottesini composed prolifically for his instrument, including three
concerti which elegantly show just how graceful and fleet-footed this giant can be.
And there’s no finer curtain-raiser than
Rossini’s buoyant overture for his farcical Barber.
Tickets $35 ($26 concessions and seniors)
Three concert subscription packages available.
Presented by Melbourne Recital Centre, Orchestra Victoria and The Australian National Academy of Music.
Bookings melbournerecital.com.au or phone
9699 3333.

Minuscule

New DVD

● Flip Shelton

■ Jane Rutter, internationally acclaimed
flautist (or flutist), is
making a personal appearance at Readings
on Thursday May 31
from 6pm.
Jane is celebrating
the release of a new album and DVD, An
Australian In Paris.
Using French poetry and other own anecdotes, Jane relates
her experiences in this
beautiful, romantic
city along with talents
of many other artists,
writers and musicians

Di Rolle
is one of
this city’s
leading
publicists.
Every
week Di
brings
news of
latest
events ...
and the
people
in the
news.

● Jane Rutter

■ Every week night
before the ABC1
News service at
7pm, I have become
hooked by Minuscule.
I have now introduced my sister to it
and she thinks it’s
fantastic as does
her dog.
Minuscule is the
private life of insects
– it’s a French made
series of short video
animations giving a
‘bird’s eye view of
insects’ day to day
existence.
Turn to Page 15

● Mrs Mignon Roberts
■ Mrs Mignon Roberts (nee Manzini) this week celebrates her 10-year anniversary of living at Royal Freemasons Centennial Lodge Nursing Home, Wantirna,
with her daughter Cassandra, son-in-law Leonard, and
the staff and residents of the home.
Mignon went to live at the home in May 2002 after developing early symptoms of Alzheimer’s Disease, a form
of dementia.
Mignon and her twin brother Othello were born three
months premature on January 15, 1921, during a cold European winter in the then-Adriatic port of Fiume, which
was a free state, and subsequently became part of Italy.
This is now known as Rijeka, which became part of
Croatia. The new-born children survived by being wrapped
in cotton wol to form a makeshift humidicrib.
Mignon migrated to Australia with her brother and
parents, Giovanni and Amalia, in 1929.
As this was during the Depression, time were tough.
Mignon’s mother Amalia took in sewing and established
herself as a dressmaker while Mignon helped by learning
to finish of garments.
Although she was interested in fashion, Mignon was
better as a sales girl than at sewing.
Mignon demonstrated talent on the piano and in singing.
She would be asked to participate at small neighbourhood
concerts. Mignon was also quite good at drawing and attended drawing classes for a while.
She married the boy-next-door (literally), Joseph. He
passed away in 1955, leaving Mignon a widow at the age
of 34, with an only daughter, Cassandra, aged two.
Mignon movede in to stay with her parents at this stage.
Mignon was a homemaker and a carer for the rest of
her life and did not go out to work.
Her father passed away at the age of 75 and her mother
passed away at the age of 99.
Her daughter Cassandra recalls that her friends remember Mignon’s generosity and the big spreads that she would
put on if visitors arrived.
Mignon has survived many changes and challenges in
her life, including those associated with Alzheimer’s Disease. She is well settled at Centennial zLodge and enjoys
many activities in the home.
Cassandra says: “The music therapy has proved wonderful and she has access to a gtreat deal of this. The therapy
helps calm Mignon and can trigger memories. It makes
her feel safe.”
Staff observe: “She can still hum and sing to some of her
favourite songs and melodies from her past.”
Cassandra feels there is a great deal of negativity concerning nursing homes which must be dispelled.
“Despite Alzheimer’s, Mignon has retained her dignity and is still treated as a human being. This, I see, as the
highlight of Mignon’s stay at Centennial Lodge and is
brought about by staff who not only care for her in the nursing sense of the word, but go far beyond this by making a
home for Mignon.
“A home is where one feels safe and secure and where
oen is loved and cared for in the true sense of the word.
“This takes time and efort and the time put into creating a
home cannot be measured in our modern way of charts,
graphs and flow diagrams.
“Kindness, compassion, being given a sense of belonging
and concern are what human beings thrive on, and this cannot be forgotten.
“I don’t consider that Mignon is in a nursing home, but
rather, that she is indeed, at home,” Cassandra said.

■ What happened to the beautiful Indian summers we
were having?
It was pure bliss sitting in the mild sunshine and soaking up the Vitamin D. Then all of a sudden we are into
winter mode.
Soups and comfort food that cuddles from the inside
have become a way of life.
We also started to take notice of the television ads
that told us to ‘tissue, bin and wash our hands ‘ to stop
winter colds from spreading.
My husband has had his flu shot, and I’m due to receive mine next week, but what do you do to stop your
cat from coming down with the sneezes?

Taking care of Moosh

■ It’s been a hectic week with my cat Moosh, who has
taken to our bed with feline flu and expects round the
clock attention 24/7.
I don’t think a human could be more demanding, but
as he’s part of the family and thinks he is human, he
expects the same level of attention, if not more!
It’s important that you be alert if your cat stops eating
because they can go downhill very quickly.
I had to ensure that his food smelt enticing, so it was
sardines, prawns, and a dash of cream to finish off preferably being fed to him in minute pieces. I didn’t mind as
long as he kept eating.
The Vet, of course, gave him a shot, and I’ve been
putting Vegemite on his paw so that he’s getting Vitamin B as he licks it off.

Important to have shots

■ Moosh is getting on a bit, not quite the Chelsea pensioner stage, but his memory is going and so a cold is a
serious matter.
For us humans, the doctors are telling us that it could
be the year they have been expecting and fearing when
the flu virus will be the strain that will make us very,
very ill, so it’s important that we have our flu shots.
I just wish there was something for animals. Sometimes they are forgotten in the scheme of things.
With the exception of a couple of my friends, the rest
all have pets that are part of the family.

Tall dark strangers

■ I can still hear Nana telling us about the Spanish
Flu epidemic in the 1920s. Grandfather McLeod disappeared for nearly a week and was found desperately ill
in the emergency hospital in the Exhibition Buildings
after collapsing in Collins St.
We still have the Red Cross letter notifying her where
he was.
It was worldwide epidemic and nearly 20 million died.
I feel sorry for those people who, for reasons known
only to themselves, just don’t like animals. They can’t
accept that pets can be good for their owners’ health.
Dogs can lower your blood pressure because they demand to be taken for walks, and if a dog accompanies
Melbourne

Observer

Yvonne’s Column

with a white shirtfront and matching boots.
His eyebrows went every which away and gave him
the look of an elderly academic. His whiskers were very
handsome and huge. But his tail which he carried erect
like a plume was his crowning glory.
Visitors, especially tradesmen, regularly ignored our
warning not to pat him no matter how appealing and
friendly he looked. It was all a feline ruse. In a second,
their hand was in his mouth and if we didn’t grab him
quickly enough, he’d bring his back feet into play.

Wrong side of blanket
■ To use a Victorian phrase, Hamish was born on
the wrong side of the blanket. His mother strayed one
moonlit night and Hamish was the result.
He lived to a good age and nothing happened in the
street that Hamish didn’t know about. Dogs were very
wary of passing our front gate because they had been
assailed by the black terror once before.
He is buried in our front garden in the spot where he
used to go each day to sit and plot. I throw him a greeting
when I pass by to collect the mail. To mark the spot we
have placed an interesting statue just in case the gardener forgets where he rests.
with Yvonne Lawrence
Many readers won’t believe that I have resisted movyvonne.lawrence@bigpond.com
ing house and at one stage moving overseas because all
my animals have their own little burial plots in our garyou, you don’t have to pretend you are training for a mara- dens.
thon.
That tall dark stranger you meet on the way who stops
to admire your canine, may strike up a friendly conversation and then, who knows?
■ Kerry Kulkens presented me with a memorial stone
with Hamish’s details in gold on his demise.
I don’t know any animal lover who didn’t shed a tear
when Bambi’s mother was shot. Of course I cried buck■ Dogs do wonders for the elderly when they pay a visit ets, but I actually talked to a man who can’t stand animals, no matter how cute. If they have four legs he isn’t
to nursing homes.
I am so pleased that many doctors agree that the pres- interested.
ence of a pet may partly balance the negativity of social
It takes all sorts I suppose, but animals do have an
isolation and depression. Animals have a place in nurs- important place in our lives.
ing.
If you want to read about how we Aussies love our
Even people with severe dementia, or those who have dogs read the wonderful story of ‘Horrie The Wog
memory problems and are almost too frail to become Dog’, and how he befriended a group of diggers in the
involved with anything around them, when confronted with Middle East.
a friendly dog can still be filled with the joy of living
The story of how they smuggled him home to Ausagain.
tralia in a backpack when they returned home is a wonWhere would we be without Guide Dogs? Seizure- derful story in its self.
alert dogs and those wonderful hard-working dogs, which
Unfortunately bureaucracy reared its ugly head, when
scamper through the customs hall looking for contraband? somebody blabbed. But you’ll have to read the book to
Start a group of friends talking about their pets and the find out the final outcome.
conversation never lags. We all like to talk about our
I still think that war animals such as the hundreds of
faithful companions, and those special pets that we had thousands of horses that perished during the First World
as children.
War should be remembered on ANZAC Day.
And never let us forget Simpson and his donkey.
Our patient is slowly recovering due to our around the
clock nursing. He’s really keeping us on our toes and
■ I often talk about Hamish, the cat from hell. He besides it gives us a warm feeling inside.
- Yvonne
became a part of my radio programme and listeners ofContact: Melbourne Observer,
ten remind me of his antics.
P.O. Box 1278, Research. 3095
Hamish was a very handsome black Persian cat

Important in our lives

Faithful companions

Hamish, cat from Hell

● Helen Moulder
is Claudia in Playing Miss Havisham
■ As part of National Year of
Reading celebrations, Willow
Productions presents Playing
Miss Havisham
on Friday, June 8
at 7pm at the
Beaumaris
Small
Hall,
Community
Centre, 96 Reserve Rd, Beaumaris.
Fe a t u r i n g
Helen Moulder
as Claudia, this
one woman performance complete with wedding dress and
cobwebs, is directed by Sue
Rider.
Piano music has
been recorded by
Richard Mapp.
Claudia is keen
to audition for the
role of Miss
Havisham as she
sees it as an escape from her
humdrum existence.
While preparing for the role,
Claudia finds her
own life takes on
the twists and
turns of a Dickens novel as playing Miss Havisham unfolds with
mystery, music
and surprise.$10
per person. Bookings: www.tr y
booking.com/
22474

Di Rolle’s Column

● From Page 10
■ Minuscule is distorted through a burlesque, yet
poetic lens. The characters are computer-modelled in 3D and set against natural scenery.
Each animation has a self-contained and usually humorous storyline.
The audio is a combination of genuine insect
and ambient recordings with artificial sound effects.
It is a joy to watch, it runs for 3-4 minutes
each week night just prior to the news. It’s a must
for me at the end of the day.

Melbourne v Sydney
■ The Sydney Melbourne rivalry has long intrigued me as it does most Melburnians. I was
even sent an email asking who was the Arts
Capital of Australia: Sydney or
Melbourne?
I, of course, and replied without skipping a beat,
“Melbourne of course” and gave a thousand reasons.
So I was most intrigued when I heard about
the Mental Health Research Institute 2012

Culinary Charity Challenge Event –
Sydney vs Melbourne.
The Mental Health Research Institute
Charity Culinary Challenge will see three
of the top chefs from Melbourne and Sydney
come head to head to battle it out to win ‘best
food city’ at an exclusive event at Palladium at
Crown on Friday August 17, at 6.30pm for a 7pm
start. I think this sounds marvellous.
The concept imitates the International
Bocuse d’Or with two celebrity chefs and one
pastry chef from each city forming the competing teams.
All competitors must be minimum one hat
chefs in the Melbourne or Sydney Good Food
Guides.
Master of ceremonies will be Paul Mercurio.
Peter Gilmore (Quay) is the Sydney team
captain and Andrew McConnell (Cutler &
Co) is the Melbourne team captain.
Guests on the night can watch these celebrity
chefs prepare entrée, main course and dessert for
the judges before enjoying each course themselves.
The competitors will be judged by elite chefs
and top food critics including Jill Dupleix and

Terry Durack. Guests will also have the opportunity to judge, via an electronic voting system.
And they will have the opportunity to bid on an
exceptional line up of exclusive auction prizes,
many of which cannot be bought.
This fabulous night of entertainment is available for with VIP tables at $6500, other tables at
$5000 and seat tickets at $500 pp.
The Mental Health Research Institute
(MHRI) is dedicated to improving the lives of
one in five Australians who experience a mental illness each year, and people suffering from
neurodegenerative diseases such as Alzheimer’s
disease.
As Australia’s largest independent psychiatric research centre, they use neuroscience and
clinical research to find better ways to diagnose,
treat and ultimately, prevent or cure illnesses ranging from depression and schizophrenia to
Alzheimer’s disease and Parkinson’s.
Five of the world’s 10 leading causes of disability are related to mental illness. In Australia, mental disorders contribute to more than 29
per cent of the disease burden and account for 10
per cent of health system costs.
However, mental health research receives less

than 9 per cent of funding from the National
Health and Medical Research Council.
The personal cost of these illnesses to families is massive – in both monetary and emotional
terms. Mental illness can cause dramatic reductions in a person’s ability to function. People with
a mental illness average three days “out of role”
per month. (that is, not undertaking normal activities because of a health problem) compared to
one day for those without.
I think this is an important event and I will be
supporting it. Bookings now at mhri@
perfectevents.com.au or phone 9384 1190.
Early bird discounts available. Visit website
www.mhri.edu.au

Where do you get it?

■ Flip Shelton’s five-grain porridge is $14.40
RRP and can be purchased on line at
www.flipsmuesli.com.au or stockists including Delicatess, Prahran Market, Leo’s
Hartwell and Kew, Passionfoods South
Melbourne and iRevive Toorak.
More info on website. I’m off now to make a
bowl with a cup of tea.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 16 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Melbourne

Observer

The Best Columnists

GHOST STORIES

Catering Gets Wheel

Our Doors are Open!

Freemasons and SEAVIC Lodge
assist local community service

● Vaughan Werner, immediate past
Grand Master; Frank Fordyce; Allan Paull;
Keith Thornton; Graham Falherty; (partly
obscured) Stuart Thompson; and Frank
Cresia of Waverley Industries at the
cheque ceremony. .
The initiative of Right Worshipful Bro. Keith
Thornton had Freemasons Victoria SEAVIC
Lodge's 2011-12 charity efforts realised with
the presentation of a cheque to the executive
director of Waverley Industries, Frank Cresia.
Waverley Industries Limited is a Notting
Hill based not-for-profit Australian Disability
Enterprise (ADE) which provides job
opportunities and supported employment for
people with disabilities in the City of Monash
and the City of Casey.
Assisted by Freemasons Victoria's Board of
Benevolence, the president Very Woirshipful
Bro. Frank Fordyce, members of SEAVIC Lodge
and other Freemasons were in attendance at
the cheque-giving ceremony to show support
for this worthy charity.
Most Worshipful Bro. Vaughan Werner, the
immediate Past Grand Master of Freemasons
Victoria was in attendance and presented the
cheque to Frank for $27,300 to warm applause
and appreciation.
"This generous donation has enabled
Waverley Industries to purchase a smaller van
for WI Catering, the catering arm of our
business, which will allow existing employees
with a disability to drive with confidence and
safety, in meeting the increased demand for
our quality food," says Frank.
WI Catering began in June 2008 and Frank
says Waverley Industries has been fortunate
to have five-star chef Eric Roulston, on board
as the hospitality manager and head chef and
has a wealth of hospitality experience
obtained over 20 years in the industry.
As WI Catering experienced rapid business
growth, Frank quickly realised that one van
was no longer able to meet the demand in
deliveries.
Using private vehicles for deliveries was an
inappropriate practice that could have put
Waverley Industries ISO 9001 accreditation
at risk of losing it completely.
The new van, which has already been
purchased, is equipped to meet all of the
HACCP Quality Assurance requirements,
ensuring Waverley Industries will continue to
remain a compliant and quality business that
provides challenging and rewarding work to
people with disabilities.
"We have already established a large
customer base, providing our customers with
all of their food and beverage catering needs
at a competitive price, delivered to their
doorstep," says Frank. No catering requirement
is too small, and we are experienced in
catering for large functions. As well as offering
free delivery, we are also able to offer dining
facilities for your functions at Waverley
Industries.
To find out more about Freemasonry,
how to become a member, or attend
upcoming public events, please visit
www.freemasonsvic.net.au or 'Like' our
Facebook page, www.facebook.com/
freemasonsvic for the most up to date
information.

■ Winter Ghost Tours
are being presented at
Black Rock House on
Wednesday, June 13 and
August 8 at 7.45pm at 34
Ebden Ave, Black Rock.
This is a fascinating
way to learn about people
who lived and worked at
this historical property,
built in 1856 as a seaside
holiday residence for
Victoria’s first AuditorGeneral, Charles Hotson
Ebden.
Ghostly stories can be
shared afterwards over
tea/coffee/biscuits. Suitable 18 years and over.
Wear warm clothing and
comfortable walking
shoes.
Cost: $20 per person, includes tour and refreshments.
Bookings: www.black
rock house.org.au Enquiries: 0411 096 433.

Here’s news

● Warren Buffett
■ US multi-billionaire
Warren Buffett shares
my passion for local newspapers, an industry which
the doomsayers say is on
its last legs.
Buffett last week put
his money where his belief
is, and paid $142 million
for 63 local papers, most
with circulations ranging
from 5000 to 25,000.About
$2 million each.
“Like any of his deals,
this is all about money,”
says US commentator Jeff
John Roberts.
Buffett puts it this way:
“In towns and cities where
there is a strong sense of
community, there is no
more important institution
than the local paper.”

St Kilda
Film Festival
■ As the Melbourne Observer went to press last
night (Tues.), the opening
of the St Kilda Fim Festival was taking place at
the Palais Theatre.
We plan to have coverage of this in next week’s
edition ... when it will be
time to be at the opening
of Annie at the Regent.

Melbourne

People
Mr Jim Ure

● David Dodd and Ruth Ewart invite visitors
down into the Black Rock House cellar by torchlight during the Ghost Tours on June 13 and
August 8.
Photo: Malcolm Threadgold

Long Shots

editor@ melbourneobserver.com.au

with Ash Long, Editor
“For the cause that lacks assistance,
‘Gainst the wrongs that need resistance
For the future in the distance,
And the good that we can do”

Observer
Treasury
Thought For The Week
■ “Look for the ridiculous in everything and you find it.”
- Jules Renard

● Jim Ure
■ In our days of publishing country newspapers, our
Seymour Chronicle involvement saw us in touch with
local politician and leader, Jim Ure.
Jim passed away on May 10 at his Seymour home,
and a service was held last Thursday at Kings Park,
home of the Seymour Football Club, of which he
had been President.
Jim had been a leader in many areas of community life. He had been a Shire President and Councillor. He had been a Water Board Chairman.
Jim was a Life Member of the Goulburn Valley Football League, and also the Yarra Valley
and Mountain District Football League.
He had been President and Chief Executive of the
VFU Players Accident Fund Friendly Society.
Jim, aged 80 at the time of his passing, had been a
faithful member of the Australian Labor Party for
40 years, and had stood as a candidate for the State
seat of Benalla in 1982.
His wife, Faye - whom he married in 1955 - shared
his social conscience, and she worked hard for the
ALP, and also served as a President of the Shire of
Mitchell.
Jim Ure started his life at Forrest, and his father
Arthur’s job tok the family to locations including
Taggerty, Acheron and Bendigo.
Jim worked at Mansfield, then Melbourne, trying out for the Carlton Under 19s. He also worked
at Bendigo and Healesville, as a truck, bus and taxi
driver. He became a representative for AMP Insurance, and was offered a promotion to Seymour.
Jim Ure was a tough local politician; his family
termed it “dyed-in-the-wool”. Wife Faye told the
Seymour Telegraph last week: “He was the only Labor bloke on Council in those days. They were mostly
farmers, but they all worked together. He had a social
conscience and an interest in the town and was generous with his time.”
Jim Ure is survived by wife Faye, brothers Bob
and Ron, sister Annette, sons Wes, Carl and Andrew, daughter Sally, 11 grandchildren and greatgranddaughter Charlotte.

Text For The Week
■ “I have seen all the things that are done under the
sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”
- Ecclesiastes 1:14

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT COURT REPORTS
Contents of Court Lists are intended for information purposes only. The lists are extracted from
Court Lists, as supplied to the public, by the Magistrates’ Court of Victoria, often one week prior to
publication date; for current Court lists, please contact the Court. Further details of cases are
available at www.magistratescourt.vic.gov.au The Melbourne Observer shall in no event accept
any liability for loss or damage suffered by any person or body due to information provided. The
information is provided on the basis that persons accessing it undertake responsibility for assessing the relevance and accuracy of its content. No inference of a party’s guilt or innocence should
be made by publication of their name as a defendant. Court schedules may be changed at any
time for any reason, including withdrawal of the action by the Plaintiff/Applicant. E&OE.

● Jim Ure in the news in 1977

Free reader ads are available in the Melbourne Trader section of the ‘Melbourne Observer’

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 23, 2012 - Page 17

Page 18 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 23, 2012

■ I recently watched a television telemovie on
the life of Hattie Jacques and I realised that I
knew absolutely nothing about the private life of
one of my favourite British comediennes.
Hattie would ‘send herself up’ to get a laugh
and became a world famous British character
actress.
Josephine Edwina Jacques was born in
Kent, England, in 1922. Her father was a RAF
pilot who died in a plane crash 18 months after
Josephine was born.
Her mother was a non-professional actress and
her brother an artist. When Josephine left school
she trained as a hairdresser. She worked as Red
Cross nurse during the war years and then as an
arc welder in a North London factory.
Josephine began acting in local stage shows
and then got into professional productions in London.
During a Minstrel Show she was in ‘black
face’ and was compared to American actress
Hattie McDaniel from Gone With The Wind the nickname stuck and she became Hattie
Jacques.
Because of her size Hattie soon learned that
it was better to have people laugh along with her
- rather than at her.
In 1947 she joined the cast of the comedy radio series ITMA which starred Tommy Handley.
Later that year she made her first screen appearance at Ealing Studios in The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Whatever
Happened
To ...
Hattie
Jacques
By Kevin Trask
of 3AW and 96.5 Inner FM
In 1949 she married fellow actor John Le
Mesurier (Dad's Army) and they had two sons.
Hattie worked in many films and radio shows
during the early 1950s.
In 1956 she became a cast member of the radio series Hancock's Half Hour and then played
parts in Tony's television shows.
Hattie also did a lot of work with comedian
Eric Sykes in television productions. She was
also a very fine singer and sang in pantomimes
and musicals.
The successful series of Carry On films began in 1958 with Carry On Sergeant and Hattie
became a regular member of the team at Ealing
Studios.
She played matrons, officers, dowagers and

● Hattie Jacques
all types of characters whilst acting opposite Syd
James, Kenneth Williams, Joan Sims, Barbara Windsor and many others in the popular
comedy films.
Her film credits included The Pickwick Papers,
School For Scandal, The Punch And Judy Man
and The Night We Dropped A Clanger.
In 1963 Hattie was shocked to be suddenly
handed ‘the red book’ to become the subject of a
television episode of This Is Your Life.
Her hobbies included collecting records, old
theatre programs and Victoriana.
Her marriage to John LeMesuier broke up
in 1967 when found romance with another man.
She remained friends with John until her death
of a sudden heart attack in 1980.
The life of Hattie Jacques is detailed in the

book, Hattie - An Authorised Biography and a
telemovie starring Ruth Jones as Hattie was
shown on cable television earlier this year.
The telemovie was criticised by her dear friend
Eric Sykes. On researching Hattie Jacques
there is no doubt that she was loved and respected
by her friends and family.
Eric Sykes said of his dear friend: "She was
one of the very best." Referring to their first meeting on the Educating Archie Radio Show he said,
"I knew from that one performance that she was
a natural."
Her ex-husband John Le Mesurier said of her:
"We always remained affectionate friends. She
was a kindly, wonderful woman who would help
anybody."
Peter Rogers, producer of the Carry On series remembered how she would sit on the set
doing The Times crossword when members of the
cast would come over to her and unburden themselves of their problems.
"Hattie would listen carefully and dispense
her advice. She was the Mother Superior of the
Carry On family."
- Kevin Trask
The Time Tunnel - with Bruce & PhilSundays at 8.20pm on 3AW
That's Entertainment - 96.5FM
Sundays at 12 Noon
96.5FM is streaming on the internet.
To listen, go to www.innerfm.org.au
and follow the prompts.

ALICE SPRINGS: IT’S OUT OF CONTROL

■ I've just come across the ideal business opportunity for an energetic and
adventurous couple!
It's called Stuart Well, and it's 90
kms south of Alice Springs, and it's
the home of Dinky, the world-famous
singing dingo!
And it's up for sale.
Jim Cotterill initially called it
‘Jim's Place’, but bureaucracy
wouldn't put up a roadside sign at
Erldunda officially announcing
‘Jim's Place 90 kms’, so he needed
to find a more ‘appropriate’ name.
This took a couple of years' searching through old maps, then getting permission for ‘naming rights’ from the
Aboriginal departments and interminable bureaucrats.
A while later Dinky turned up, and
shortly thereafter began his warbling
activities. He stands up at an old piano
and walks along the keys, happily howling as he goes.
Of course TV crews come from all
over the world to film the Rock and
other ancillary wonders, so Dinky is
known far and wide, and he's all over
You Tube.
Not only is there Jim's Place with
its camping ground and general wildlife menagerie, but the settlement
boasts other business ventures, including a camel farm with desert expeditions and a mini-dairy with camel milk
shakes and ice cream. Yum!
What an opportunity!

■ Poor old Alice is not thriving at the
moment.
There's a general tourism downturn
Australia-wide, and this is particularly
noticeable in the Territory.
Combined with this there's the current spate of ‘anti-social’ behaviour,
from the Yuendumu scalping to the
backpacker assault, and this has been
receiving much publicity all over Australia.
Everyone in town - Police, politicians, councillors - have all been having their say, bemoaning the situation.
A meeting of the Combined Aboriginal Organisations, hosted by
the Central Australian Aboriginal
Congress has been called. This is the
umbrella for 18 Aboriginal bodies in
town.
It is interesting that in the past recalcitrant groups and individuals have
rarely been specifically identified.
Sometimes an offender was merely
noted as being ‘of Aboriginal appearance’.

The
Outback
Legend

with Nick Le Souef
Lightning Ridge Opals
175 Flinders Lane,
Melbourne
Phone 9654 4444
www.opals.net.au
However with the recent gunpoint
rape of the two European backpackers, a new reporting benchmark was
created.
This news not only spread Australia-wide, starting with the ABC, which
is usually quieter on such matters, but
the headlines screamed all over the
world.
This time it was specifically reported that ‘three Aboriginal youths
were being sought’ in connection with
the crime.
Once when it would have been subtly reported that their stolen car had
been located dumped at the Hermannsburg Aboriginal settlement,
everyone could have worked out their
story.
Not now. The gloves are off.
■ And now, to add insult to injury,
there's the taxi situation.
I noted a couple of weeks ago that
my mate Samih, who runs a cab company in town, had threatened to withdraw his vehicles from the roads because of the damage they were experiencing.
It's now got worse.

Taxis are innocently driving into the
Imparja TV car park to pick up customers, and are then ambushed by
gangs who form a barricade with rubbish bins, trapping the vehicle inside.
They are then attacked with rocks.
Another taxi operator, Jason
Moody, told that he's had about $15,000
damage to his vehicles over the past
few months.
Indeed, things are out of control.
■ And then there's Darwin!
A driver was apprehended by Police last week after he crashed his car.
It turned out that it was stolen, and he
was already on bail for a recent similar offence.
He was 10!
Then there was another group of
children, including again two 10 yearolds, who had also stolen a van and
crashed it.
And further, there was 95 year-old
Douglas Pyne, who was reported
missing from the caravan park where
he was staying.
He turned up safe and sound - in the
pub!
Which reminded me of another fellow, Hammo, a few years ago who
was determined to leave Darwin just
prior to Christmas, and move south.
He'd had the same plan for three
years - save up during the year for the
trip - fuel and food and accomodation.
He'd reached Katherine on each
occasion, then gone into the pub for a
Christmas drink.
Of course the inevitable happened,
and he stayed in the pub till his travelling money ran out, and then limped
back to Darwin. Three years in a row!
The last time he wasn't tempting fate
- so he sold his car and hopped on a
plane!
■ When I'm not roaming about the
Outback, I often spend time on some
land at Wombat, just out of Boisdale,
in the wilds of Gippsland.
I derive a great deal of pleasure from
this spot.
I once showed my outback mate
Ozzie a photo of my block, 30 acres of
virgin bush fronting about a kilometre
of the Avon River - actually a creek,
with crystal clear foot - deep water gently flowing over millennium smoothed
rocks and boulders, with an occasional
deeper sparkling pool.
Ozzie told me he often dreamed of
such a place as he was toiling in the
scorching summer heat of the Centre's

● Dinky at Erldunda
desert sand! I also derive pleasure from
a pursuit which I've previously mentioned - cryptozoology - the investigation of creatures which either supposedly don't exist, or are supposedly extinct.
At Wombat there is ample scope
for this ‘hobby’.
There are often reports of big black

and brown, cats, the size of Panthers
or Cougars, roaming through the bush;
Thylacines as well. Usually in headlights' glare, or galloping around a distant paddock.
Plus an even more interesting creature - a Thylacine with a feline, as opposed to a canine, face.
Wombat has all of these, so I always keep my eyes peeled whenever
I'm in the vicinity.
Even though I've seen plenty of
wallabies, kangaroos, emus hares and
wombats, nary any unknown creatures.
Until yesterday.
I was relaxing in the afternoon sun
in front of my campfire, when a distinctive snarl came from the scrub down
by the river.
The only time I've heard that noise
before was on TV, coming from a bossy
Tasmanian Devil. But they, like
Tassie tigers, don't exist on the mainland!
A mystery indeed!
- Nick Le Souef
‘The Outback Legend’

From The Outer

Melbourne

Observer

kojak@
mmnet.com.au

With John Pasquarelli

■ The Gillard Greek-style cargo cult handouts to certain sectors of
the Australian community is bad news for an Abbott Government
which will have to waste valuable time repairing the mess that the worst
Labor Government in history has placed us in.
The election will see the left-wing unions throwing every dollar they
have into the campaign - money from the pockets of all union members
and the nutty Greens will be there in force with all the other usual
suspects.
Abbott will need some hardheads to stand with him and preselections
are crucially important for the obvious reasons.
The Coalition has been weakened over the years by the creation of
the cult of the apparatchik - those who still think they are playing at
undergrad politics and have never had a real job - have never employed
another person out of their own pockets and have never got off the bitumen.
Coalition MPs have to wake up and determine to resurrect the once
high standing enjoyed by most politicians and they can do this best by
really getting out and about and listening to the people as well as doing
their homework.
We don't want to hear pollies telling us how hard they work.
- John Pasquarelli:
kojak@mmnet.com.au

â&#x2013; This unique range of products by Alarm Australia immediately alert you when someone enters your property, giving you peace of mind
and no unwanted surprises.
The product range offers a solution for
everyones particular needs, whether you want
to know when someone enters the front gate to
your home property or business foyer, the alarms
also allow you to monitor more then one location at a time.
When a location is triggered by a car or person a wireless signal is sent up to a 1km range to
one or more receivers.
Aside from added security, flexibility and no
wiring installation required are the major benefits of these effective products, you can receive signals in different locations at your home,
office or farm, and also have the option to carry
a small matchbox sized receiver in your pocket
so you can move around and still feel assured
you won't miss any visitors or unwanted intruders.
The wireless driveway alarms were offered

by Alarm Australia in response to increasing
demand from businesses who cannot always
man particular entry areas, successfully
minimising opportunity for stolen products and
ensuring they are able to provide prompt service in their business.
The home and private property user has significantly benefited from the products in effectively monitoring distant front gate entries, equipment sheds and garages which house valuable
items, and for the simple peace of mind of knowing someone is on your property.
This proven range of products have been
providing private homes and businesses throughout all regions of Australia with an extra set of
eyes and added security, easily installed with no
need to run wiring, your business or property
can be enjoying the benefits of these products in
no time.
More information can be sourced online
www.alarmaustralia.com.au or to order today
call 1300 766 805.

Page 26 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 23, 2012

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Country Living
Beautify
your property
â&#x2013; With the "Green Change" well underway
"country Australia" is experiencing an influx
of new residents keen to enjoy the rural
lifestyle and surrounds. As a result acreage
properties are being bought and sold in large
numbers by people from non-rural
backgrounds. Beautiful Farms was born out
of a need for the advice and the means to
create attractive, practical and valuable rural
properties and acreages. We do the work
while you enjoy the lifestyle.
Mark Salmond - Beautiful Farm's founder
has spent 30 years in the landscaping,
farming and consulting sectors and is ideally
placed to advise and guide you with your
design and or construction .This experience
means your needs and those of your property
are addressed in a professional, practical
and stylish manner.
A Bachelor of Agriculture and practical
farming experience in New Zealand, South
Africa and Australia means Beautiful Farms
also offers advice on farm management.
So how do you beautify your property?
1. You start with a plan. Too many properties
have been developed with too little thought
and no overall plan. As a result they look
"bitsy", are not always practical and often
unattractive. Develop a plan which takes
into consideration your goals, your properties
strengths and weaknesses, your budget and
one that is potentially attractive to others.
2. The clean-up. This is a step too many
people are hesitant about to their properties
long term detriment. In most cases "if in
doubt get rid of it" is the best policy. Old
structures and poorly thought out layouts
need to go. Keep only what is in good repair
and only if it fits in with your plan from point
1 above. NB. The other good thing about a
clean up is that it allows you to see what you
have got more clearly. At the end of the
clean up stage you should revisit your
overall plan again to make sure it does not
need refining.
3. Clear your property of weeds. The clean
up is an ideal time to get on top of any
weeds you might have. Typically at the
clean-up stage, you will have machinery
involved so it makes sense to have this
machinery clear your lantana, groundsel,
camphor laurel etc. Doing it this way means
you then have a sporting chance of staying
on top of the weeds with good management.
The number of owners of properties who
spend all weekend fighting a losing battle
against weeds (whilst spending no time
enjoying the "lifestyle)" is considerable.
4. Grass - gardens and trees - or weeds. It is
vital once you have cleaned up your property
that you know what to do next - and do it
fast. You must put cleared areas into grass
or garden (trees). Bare areas of dirt will
simply revert to weeds. A good rule of thumb
is if you cannot safely graze or slash it then
it is best in gardens or trees. This can mean
anything from a beautiful garden, a screen
planting to hide a neighbouring property, a
rainforest feature or even a plot of plantation
timber.
5. Fencing and an accompanying management plan. Typically acreages and farms
need grazing as well as mowing or slashing.
The management of your pastures is too big
a subject to handle here, suffice to say you
need paddocks and fences that will allow
you and your stock to keep your grass and
weeds under control. A rotational grazing
policy is simple and effective but will only
work if your fences are up to it.
6. Water. Water can turn an ordinary
property into a beautiful one. It is obviously
vital to any farm or acreage from a practical
point of view as well. Look to enhance your
property's appeal by making the most of
what water you have or developing new
water features. This can mean cleaning or
repairing old dams, constructing new dams
or clearing weeds from a creek.
7. Features. Once you have the basics in
place you can then look to add features such
as more water which was mentioned above,
tracks and walk ways, gardens, bridges,
decorative fences, horse arenas and
stables......
The improvements possible on a farm or
acreage are endless, and often quite
spectacular. So don't let a lack of time,
energy or ideas prevent your property from
reaching its full potential.
For more information visit our website at
www.beautifulfarms.com.au
Mark Salmond
B Agr. MBA

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 27, 2012 - Page 27

Observer Classic Books

r

e
rv S
se U N
Ob N IO
BO CT
SE

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Pride and Prejudice
CHAPTER 49 - continued

Away ran the girls, too eager to get in to have
time for speech. They ran through the vestibule
into the breakfast-room; from thence to the library;
their father was in neither; and they were on the
point of seeking him upstairs with their mother,
when they were met by the butler, who said:
“If you are looking for my master, ma’am, he is
walking towards the little copse.”
Upon this information, they instantly passed
through the hall once more, and ran across the
lawn after their father, who was deliberately pursuing his way towards a small wood on one side
of the paddock.
Jane, who was not so light nor so much in the
habit of running as Elizabeth, soon lagged behind,
while her sister, panting for breath, came up with
him, and eagerly cried out:
“Oh, papa, what news — what news? Have you
heard from my uncle?”
“Yes I have had a letter from him by express.”
“Well, and what news does it bring — good or
bad?”
“What is there of good to be expected?” said he,
taking the letter from his pocket. “But perhaps
you would like to read it.”
Elizabeth impatiently caught it from his hand. Jane
now came up.
“Read it aloud,” said their father, “for I hardly
know myself what it is about.”
“Gracechurch Street, Monday, August 2.
“MY DEAR BROTHER,
“At last I am able to send you some tidings of my
niece, and such as, upon the whole, I hope it will
give you satisfaction. Soon after you left me on
Saturday, I was fortunate enough to find out in
what part of London they were. The particulars I
reserve till we meet; it is enough to know they
are discovered. I have seen them both —”
“Then it is as I always hoped,” cried Jane; “they
are married!”
Elizabeth read on:
“I have seen them both. They are not married,
nor can I find there was any intention of being so;
but if you are willing to perform the engagements
which I have ventured to make on your side, I
hope it will not be long before they are. All that is
required of you is, to assure to your daughter, by
settlement, her equal share of the five thousand
pounds secured among your children after the
decease of yourself and my sister; and, moreover,
to enter into an engagement of allowing her, during your life, one hundred pounds per annum. These
are conditions which, considering everything, I had
no hesitation in complying with, as far as I thought
myself privileged, for you. I shall send this by
express, that no time may be lost in bringing me
your answer. You will easily comprehend, from
these particulars, that Mr. Wickham’s circumstances are not so hopeless as they are generally
believed to be. The world has been deceived in
that respect; and I am happy to say there will be
some little money, even when all his debts are
discharged, to settle on my niece, in addition to
her own fortune. If, as I conclude will be the case,
you send me full powers to act in your name
throughout the whole of this business, I will immediately give directions to Haggerston for preparing a proper settlement. There will not be the
smallest occasion for your coming to town again;
therefore stay quiet at Longbourn, and depend on
my diligence and care. Send back your answer as
fast as you can, and be careful to write explicitly.
We have judged it best that my niece should be
married from this house, of which I hope you will
approve. She comes to us to-day. I shall write
again as soon as anything more is determined on.
Yours, etc.,
“EDW. GARDINER.”
“Is it possible?” cried Elizabeth, when she had
finished. “Can it be possible that he will marry
her?”
“Wickham is not so undeserving, then, as we
thought him,” said her sister. “My dear father, I
congratulate you.”
“And have you answered the letter?” cried Elizabeth.
“No; but it must be done soon.”
Most earnestly did she then entreaty him to lose
no more time before he wrote.
“Oh! my dear father,” she cried, “come back and
write immediately. Consider how important ev-

● Jane Austen
ery moment is in such a case.”
“Let me write for you,” said Jane, “if you dislike
the trouble yourself.”
“I dislike it very much,” he replied; “but it must
be done.”
And so saying, he turned back with them, and
walked towards the house.
“And may I ask —” said Elizabeth; “but the terms,
I suppose, must be complied with.”
“Complied with! I am only ashamed of his asking so little.”
“And they MUST marry! Yet he is SUCH a man!”
“Yes, yes, they must marry. There is nothing else
to be done. But there are two things that I want
very much to know; one is, how much money your
uncle has laid down to bring it about; and the other,
how am I ever to pay him.”
“Money! My uncle!” cried Jane, “what do you
mean, sir?”
“I mean, that no man in his senses would marry
Lydia on so slight a temptation as one hundred a
year during my life, and fifty after I am gone.”
“That is very true,” said Elizabeth; “though it had
not occurred to me before. His debts to be discharged, and something still to remain! Oh! it must
be my uncle’s doings! Generous, good man, I am
afraid he has distressed himself. A small sum
could not do all this.”
“No,” said her father; “Wickham’s a fool if he
takes her with a farthing less than ten thousand
pounds. I should be sorry to think so ill of him, in
the very beginning of our relationship.”
“Ten thousand pounds! Heaven forbid! How is half
such a sum to be repaid?”
Mr. Bennet made no answer, and each of them,
deep in thought, continued silent till they reached
the house. Their father then went on to the library
to write, and the girls walked into the breakfastroom.
“And they are really to be married!” cried Elizabeth, as soon as they were by themselves. “How
strange this is! And for THIS we are to be thankful. That they should marry, small as is their
chance of happiness, and wretched as is his character, we are forced to rejoice. Oh, Lydia!”

“I comfort myself with thinking,” replied Jane,
“that he certainly would not marry Lydia if he
had not a real regard for her. Though our kind uncle
has done something towards clearing him, I cannot believe that ten thousand pounds, or anything
like it, has been advanced. He has children of his
own, and may have more. How could he spare
half ten thousand pounds?”
“If he were ever able to learn what Wickham’s
debts have been,” said Elizabeth, “and how much
is settled on his side on our sister, we shall exactly know what Mr. Gardiner has done for them,
because Wickham has not sixpence of his own.
The kindness of my uncle and aunt can never be
requited. Their taking her home, and affording her
their personal protection and countenance, is such
a sacrifice to her advantage as years of gratitude
cannot enough acknowledge. By this time she is
actually with them! If such goodness does not
make her miserable now, she will never deserve
to be happy! What a meeting for her, when she
first sees my aunt!”
“We must endeavour to forget all that has passed
on either side,” said Jane: “I hope and trust they
will yet be happy. His consenting to marry her is
a proof, I will believe, that he is come to a right
way of thinking. Their mutual affection will steady
them; and I flatter myself they will settle so quietly, and live in so rational a manner, as may in
time make their past imprudence forgotten.”
“Their conduct has been such,” replied Elizabeth,
“as neither you, nor I, nor anybody can ever forget. It is useless to talk of it.”
It now occurred to the girls that their mother was
in all likelihood perfectly ignorant of what had
happened. They went to the library, therefore, and
asked their father whether he would not wish them
to make it known to her. He was writing and, without raising his head, coolly replied:
“Just as you please.”
“May we take my uncle’s letter to read to her?”
“Take whatever you like, and get away.”
Elizabeth took the letter from his writing-table,
and they went upstairs together. Mary and Kitty
were both with Mrs. Bennet: one communication

would, therefore, do for all. After a slight preparation for good news, the letter was read aloud.
Mrs. Bennet could hardly contain herself. As soon
as Jane had read Mr. Gardiner’s hope of Lydia’s
being soon married, her joy burst forth, and every
following sentence added to its exuberance. She
was now in an irritation as violent from delight,
as she had ever been fidgety from alarm and vexation. To know that her daughter would be married
was enough. She was disturbed by no fear for her
felicity, nor humbled by any remembrance of her
misconduct.
“My dear, dear Lydia!” she cried. “This is delightful indeed! She will be married! I shall see
her again! She will be married at sixteen! My
good, kind brother! I knew how it would be. I knew
he would manage everything! How I long to see
her! and to see dear Wickham too! But the clothes,
the wedding clothes! I will write to my sister
Gardiner about them directly. Lizzy, my dear, run
down to your father, and ask him how much he
will give her. Stay, stay, I will go myself. Ring
the bell, Kitty, for Hill. I will put on my things in
a moment. My dear, dear Lydia! How merry we
shall be together when we meet!”
Her eldest daughter endeavoured to give some
relief to the violence of these transports, by leading her thoughts to the obligations which Mr.
Gardiner’s behaviour laid them all under.
“For we must attribute this happy conclusion,”
she added, “in a great measure to his kindness.
We are persuaded that he has pledged himself to
assist Mr. Wickham with money.”
“Well,” cried her mother, “it is all very right; who
should do it but her own uncle? If he had not had
a family of his own, I and my children must have
had all his money, you know; and it is the first
time we have ever had anything from him, except a few presents. Well! I am so happy! In a
short time I shall have a daughter married. Mrs.
Wickham! How well it sounds! And she was only
sixteen last June. My dear Jane, I am in such a
flutter, that I am sure I can’t write; so I will dictate, and you write for me. We will settle with
your father about the money afterwards; but the
things should be ordered immediately.”
She was then proceeding to all the particulars of
calico, muslin, and cambric, and would shortly
have dictated some very plentiful orders, had not
Jane, though with some difficulty, persuaded her
to wait till her father was at leisure to be consulted. One day’s delay, she observed, would be
of small importance; and her mother was too happy
to be quite so obstinate as usual. Other schemes,
too, came into her head.
“I will go to Meryton,” said she, “as soon as I am
dressed, and tell the good, good news to my sister
Philips. And as I come back, I can call on Lady
Lucas and Mrs. Long. Kitty, run down and order
the carriage. An airing would do me a great deal
of good, I am sure. Girls, can I do anything for
you in Meryton? Oh! Here comes Hill! My dear
Hill, have you heard the good news? Miss Lydia
is going to be married; and you shall all have a
bowl of punch to make merry at her wedding.”
Mrs. Hill began instantly to express her joy. Elizabeth received her congratulations amongst the rest,
and then, sick of this folly, took refuge in her own
room, that she might think with freedom.
Poor Lydia’s situation must, at best, be bad
enough; but that it was no worse, she had need to
be thankful. She felt it so; and though, in looking
forward, neither rational happiness nor worldly
prosperity could be justly expected for her sister,
in looking back to what they had feared, only two
hours ago, she felt all the advantages of what they
had gained.

CHAPTER 50
Mr. Bennet had very often wished before this period of his life that, instead of spending his whole
income, he had laid by an annual sum for the better provision of his children, and of his wife, if
she survived him. He now wished it more than
ever. Had he done his duty in that respect, Lydia
need not have been indebted to her uncle for whatever of honour or credit could now be purchased
for her. The satisfaction of prevailing on one of
the most worthless young men in Great Britain to
be her husband might then have rested in its proper
place.

Continued on Page 28

Page 16 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 27, 2012

From Page 25
He was seriously concerned that a cause of so
little advantage to anyone should be forwarded at
the sole expense of his brother-in-law, and he was
determined, if possible, to find out the extent of
his assistance, and to discharge the obligation as
soon as he could.
When first Mr. Bennet had married, economy was
held to be perfectly useless, for, of course, they
were to have a son. The son was to join in cutting
off the entail, as soon as he should be of age, and
the widow and younger children would by that
means be provided for. Five daughters successively entered the world, but yet the son was to
come; and Mrs. Bennet, for many years after
Lydia’s birth, had been certain that he would. This
event had at last been despaired of, but it was
then too late to be saving. Mrs. Bennet had no
turn for economy, and her husband’s love of independence had alone prevented their exceeding their
income.
Five thousand pounds was settled by marriage
articles on Mrs. Bennet and the children. But in
what proportions it should be divided amongst the
latter depended on the will of the parents. This
was one point, with regard to Lydia, at least, which
was now to be settled, and Mr. Bennet could have
no hesitation in acceding to the proposal before
him. In terms of grateful acknowledgment for the
kindness of his brother, though expressed most
concisely, he then delivered on paper his perfect
approbation of all that was done, and his willingness to fulfil the engagements that had been made
for him. He had never before supposed that, could
Wickham be prevailed on to marry his daughter,
it would be done with so little inconvenience to
himself as by the present arrangement. He would
scarcely be ten pounds a year the loser by the
hundred that was to be paid them; for, what with
her board and pocket allowance, and the continual
presents in money which passed to her through
her mother’s hands, Lydia’s expenses had been
very little within that sum.
That it would be done with such trifling exertion
on his side, too, was another very welcome surprise; for his wish at present was to have as little
trouble in the business as possible. When the first
transports of rage which had produced his activity in seeking her were over, he naturally returned
to all his former indolence. His letter was soon
dispatched; for, though dilatory in undertaking
business, he was quick in its execution. He begged
to know further particulars of what he was indebted to his brother, but was too angry with Lydia
to send any message to her.
The good news spread quickly through the house,
and with proportionate speed through the
neighbourhood. It was borne in the latter with decent philosophy. To be sure, it would have been
more for the advantage of conversation had Miss
Lydia Bennet come upon the town; or, as the happiest alternative, been secluded from the world,
in some distant farmhouse. But there was much
to be talked of in marrying her; and the good-natured wishes for her well-doing which had proceeded before from all the spiteful old ladies in
Meryton lost but a little of their spirit in this change
of circumstances, because with such an husband
her misery was considered certain.
It was a fortnight since Mrs. Bennet had been
downstairs; but on this happy day she again took
her seat at the head of her table, and in spirits
oppressively high. No sentiment of shame gave a
damp to her triumph. The marriage of a daughter,
which had been the first object of her wishes since
Jane was sixteen, was now on the point of accomplishment, and her thoughts and her words
ran wholly on those attendants of elegant nuptials,
fine muslins, new carriages, and servants. She
was busily searching through the neighbourhood
for a proper situation for her daughter, and, without knowing or considering what their income
might be, rejected many as deficient in size and
importance.
“Haye Park might do,” said she, “if the Gouldings
could quit it — or the great house at Stoke, if the
drawing-room were larger; but Ashworth is too
far off! I could not bear to have her ten miles
from me; and as for Pulvis Lodge, the attics are
dreadful.”
Her husband allowed her to talk on without interruption while the servants remained. But when
they had withdrawn, he said to her: “Mrs. Bennet,
before you take any or all of these houses for your
son and daughter, let us come to a right understanding. Into ONE house in this neighbourhood
they shall never have admittance. I will not encourage the impudence of either, by receiving
them at Longbourn.”
A long dispute followed this declaration; but Mr.

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Bennet was firm. It soon led to another; and Mrs.
Bennet found, with amazement and horror, that
her husband would not advance a guinea to buy
clothes for his daughter. He protested that she
should receive from him no mark of affection
whatever on the occasion. Mrs. Bennet could
hardly comprehend it. That his anger could be
carried to such a point of inconceivable resentment as to refuse his daughter a privilege without
which her marriage would scarcely seem valid,
exceeded all she could believe possible. She was
more alive to the disgrace which her want of new
clothes must reflect on her daughter’s nuptials,
than to any sense of shame at her eloping and
living with Wickham a fortnight before they took
place.
Elizabeth was now most heartily sorry that she
had, from the distress of the moment, been led to
make Mr. Darcy acquainted with their fears for
her sister; for since her marriage would so shortly
give the proper termination to the elopement, they
might hope to conceal its unfavourable beginning
from all those who were not immediately on the
spot.
She had no fear of its spreading farther through
his means. There were few people on whose secrecy she would have more confidently depended;
but, at the same time, there was no one whose
knowledge of a sister’s frailty would have mortified her so much — not, however, from any fear
of disadvantage from it individually to herself, for,
at any rate, there seemed a gulf impassable between them. Had Lydia’s marriage been concluded on the most honourable terms, it was not
to be supposed that Mr. Darcy would connect himself with a family where, to every other objection, would now be added an alliance and relationship of the nearest kind with a man whom he
so justly scorned.
From such a connection she could not wonder that
he would shrink. The wish of procuring her regard, which she had assured herself of his feeling
in Derbyshire, could not in rational expectation
survive such a blow as this. She was humbled,
she was grieved; she repented, though she hardly
knew of what. She became jealous of his esteem,
when she could no longer hope to be benefited by
it. She wanted to hear of him, when there seemed
the least chance of gaining intelligence. She was
convinced that she could have been happy with
him, when it was no longer likely they should
meet.
What a triumph for him, as she often thought, could
he know that the proposals which she had proudly
spurned only four months ago, would now have
been most gladly and gratefully received! He was
as generous, she doubted not, as the most generous of his sex; but while he was mortal, there
must be a triumph.
She began now to comprehend that he was exactly the man who, in disposition and talents,
would most suit her. His understanding and temper, though unlike her own, would have answered
all her wishes. It was an union that must have
been to the advantage of both; by her ease and
liveliness, his mind might have been softened, his
manners improved; and from his judgement, information, and knowledge of the world, she must
have received benefit of greater importance.
But no such happy marriage could now teach the
admiring multitude what connubial felicity really
was. An union of a different tendency, and precluding the possibility of the other, was soon to be
formed in their family.
How Wickham and Lydia were to be supported in
tolerable independence, she could not imagine.
But how little of permanent happiness could belong to a couple who were only brought together
because their passions were stronger than their
virtue, she could easily conjecture.
Mr. Gardiner soon wrote again to his brother. To
Mr. Bennet’s acknowledgments he briefly replied,
with assurance of his eagerness to promote the
welfare of any of his family; and concluded with
entreaties that the subject might never be mentioned to him again. The principal purport of his
letter was to inform them that Mr. Wickham had
resolved on quitting the militia.
“It was greatly my wish that he should do so,” he
added, “as soon as his marriage was fixed on.
And I think you will agree with me, in considering the removal from that corps as highly advisable, both on his account and my niece’s. It is Mr.
Wickham’s intention to go into the regulars; and
among his former friends, there are still some who
are able and willing to assist him in the army. He
has the promise of an ensigncy in General ——’s
regiment, now quartered in the North. It is an advantage to have it so far from this part of the kingdom. He promises fairly; and I hope among dif-

ferent people, where they may each have a character to preserve, they will both be more prudent.
I have written to Colonel Forster, to inform him
of our present arrangements, and to request that
he will satisfy the various creditors of Mr.
Wickham in and near Brighton, with assurances
of speedy payment, for which I have pledged
myself. And will you give yourself the trouble of
carrying similar assurances to his creditors in
Meryton, of whom I shall subjoin a list according
to his information? He has given in all his debts; I
hope at least he has not deceived us. Haggerston
has our directions, and all will be completed in a
week. They will then join his regiment, unless
they are first invited to Longbourn; and I understand from Mrs. Gardiner, that my niece is very
desirous of seeing you all before she leaves the
South. She is well, and begs to be dutifully remembered to you and your mother. — Yours, etc.,
“E. GARDINER.”
Mr. Bennet and his daughters saw all the advantages of Wickham’s removal from the —— shire
as clearly as Mr. Gardiner could do. But Mrs.
Bennet was not so well pleased with it. Lydia’s
being settled in the North, just when she had expected most pleasure and pride in her company,
for she had by no means given up her plan of their
residing in Hertfordshire, was a severe disappointment; and, besides, it was such a pity that Lydia
should be taken from a regiment where she was
acquainted with everybody, and had so many
favourites.
“She is so fond of Mrs. Forster,” said she, “it will
be quite shocking to send her away! And there
are several of the young men, too, that she likes
very much. The officers may not be so pleasant
in General ——’s regiment.”
His daughter’s request, for such it might be considered, of being admitted into her family again
before she set off for the North, received at first
an absolute negative. But Jane and Elizabeth, who
agreed in wishing, for the sake of their sister’s
feelings and consequence, that she should be noticed on her marriage by her parents, urged him
so earnestly yet so rationally and so mildly, to
receive her and her husband at Longbourn, as soon
as they were married, that he was prevailed on to
think as they thought, and act as they wished. And
their mother had the satisfaction of knowing that
she would be able to show her married daughter
in the neighbourhood before she was banished to
the North. When Mr. Bennet wrote again to his
brother, therefore, he sent his permission for them
to come; and it was settled, that as soon as the
ceremony was over, they should proceed to
Longbourn. Elizabeth was surprised, however, that
Wickham should consent to such a scheme, and
had she consulted only her own inclination, any
meeting with him would have been the last object
of her wishes.

CHAPTER 51
Their sister’s wedding day arrived; and Jane and
Elizabeth felt for her probably more than she felt
for herself. The carriage was sent to meet them
at — — and they were to return in it by dinnertime. Their arrival was dreaded by the elder Miss
Bennets, and Jane more especially, who gave
Lydia the feelings which would have attended
herself, had she been the culprit, and was wretched
in the thought of what her sister must endure.
They came. The family were assembled in the
breakfast room to receive them. Smiles decked
the face of Mrs. Bennet as the carriage drove up
to the door; her husband looked impenetrably
grave; her daughters, alarmed, anxious, uneasy.
Lydia’s voice was heard in the vestibule; the door
was thrown open, and she ran into the room. Her
mother stepped forwards, embraced her, and welcomed her with rapture; gave her hand, with an
affectionate smile, to Wickham, who followed his
lady; and wished them both joy with an alacrity
which shewed no doubt of their happiness.
Their reception from Mr. Bennet, to whom they
then turned, was not quite so cordial. His countenance rather gained in austerity; and he scarcely
opened his lips. The easy assurance of the young
couple, indeed, was enough to provoke him. Elizabeth was disgusted, and even Miss Bennet was
shocked. Lydia was Lydia still; untamed, unabashed, wild, noisy, and fearless. She turned from
sister to sister, demanding their congratulations;
and when at length they all sat down, looked eagerly round the room, took notice of some little
alteration in it, and observed, with a laugh, that it
was a great while since she had been there.
Wickham was not at all more distressed than herself, but his manners were always so pleasing,
that had his character and his marriage been ex-

actly what they ought, his smiles and his easy
address, while he claimed their relationship,
would have delighted them all. Elizabeth had not
before believed him quite equal to such assurance;
but she sat down, resolving within herself to draw
no limits in future to the impudence of an impudent man. She blushed, and Jane blushed; but the
cheeks of the two who caused their confusion suffered no variation of colour.
There was no want of discourse. The bride and
her mother could neither of them talk fast enough;
and Wickham, who happened to sit near Elizabeth, began inquiring after his acquaintance in that
neighbourhood, with a good humoured ease which
she felt very unable to equal in her replies. They
seemed each of them to have the happiest memories in the world. Nothing of the past was recollected with pain; and Lydia led voluntarily to subjects which her sisters would not have alluded to
for the world.
“Only think of its being three months,” she cried,
“since I went away; it seems but a fortnight I declare; and yet there have been things enough happened in the time. Good gracious! when I went
away, I am sure I had no more idea of being married till I came back again! though I thought it
would be very good fun if I was.”
Her father lifted up his eyes. Jane was distressed.
Elizabeth looked expressively at Lydia; but she,
who never heard nor saw anything of which she
chose to be insensible, gaily continued, “Oh!
mamma, do the people hereabouts know I am
married to-day? I was afraid they might not; and
we overtook William Goulding in his curricle, so
I was determined he should know it, and so I let
down the side-glass next to him, and took off my
glove, and let my hand just rest upon the window
frame, so that he might see the ring, and then I
bowed and smiled like anything.”
Elizabeth could bear it no longer. She got up, and
ran out of the room; and returned no more, till she
heard them passing through the hall to the dining
parlour. She then joined them soon enough to see
Lydia, with anxious parade, walk up to her
mother’s right hand, and hear her say to her eldest sister, “Ah! Jane, I take your place now, and
you must go lower, because I am a married
woman.”
It was not to be supposed that time would give
Lydia that embarrassment from which she had
been so wholly free at first. Her ease and good
spirits increased. She longed to see Mrs. Phillips,
the Lucases, and all their other neighbours, and
to hear herself called “Mrs. Wickham” by each
of them; and in the mean time, she went after
dinner to show her ring, and boast of being married, to Mrs. Hill and the two housemaids.
“Well, mamma,” said she, when they were all
returned to the breakfast room, “and what do you
think of my husband? Is not he a charming man?
I am sure my sisters must all envy me. I only
hope they may have half my good luck. They must
all go to Brighton. That is the place to get husbands. What a pity it is, mamma, we did not all
go.”
“Very true; and if I had my will, we should. But
my dear Lydia, I don’t at all like your going such
a way off. Must it be so?”
“Oh, lord! yes — there is nothing in that. I shall
like it of all things. You and papa, and my sisters,
must come down and see us. We shall be at
Newcastle all the winter, and I dare say there will
be some balls, and I will take care to get good
partners for them all.”
“I should like it beyond anything!” said her
mother.
“And then when you go away, you may leave one
or two of my sisters behind you; and I dare say I
shall get husbands for them before the winter is
over.”
“I thank you for my share of the favour,” said
Elizabeth; “but I do not particularly like your way
of getting husbands.”
Their visitors were not to remain above ten days
with them. Mr. Wickham had received his commission before he left London, and he was to join
his regiment at the end of a fortnight.
No one but Mrs. Bennet regretted that their stay
would be so short; and she made the most of the
time by visiting about with her daughter, and having very frequent parties at home. These parties
were acceptable to all; to avoid a family circle
was even more desirable to such as did think, than
such as did not.
Wickham’s affection for Lydia was just what Elizabeth had expected to find it; not equal to Lydia’s
for him. She had scarcely needed her present observation to be satisfied, from the reason of things,
that their elopement had been brought on by the
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From Page 28
strength of her love, rather than by his; and she
would have wondered why, without violently caring for her, he chose to elope with her at all, had
she not felt certain that his flight was rendered
necessary by distress of circumstances; and if that
were the case, he was not the young man to resist
an opportunity of having a companion.
Lydia was exceedingly fond of him. He was her
dear Wickham on every occasion; no one was to
be put in competition with him. He did every thing
best in the world; and she was sure he would kill
more birds on the first of September, than any
body else in the country.
One morning, soon after their arrival, as she was
sitting with her two elder sisters, she said to Elizabeth:
“Lizzy, I never gave YOU an account of my wedding, I believe. You were not by, when I told
mamma and the others all about it. Are not you
curious to hear how it was managed?”
“No really,” replied Elizabeth; “I think there cannot be too little said on the subject.”
“La! You are so strange! But I must tell you how
it went off. We were married, you know, at St.
Clement’s, because Wickham’s lodgings were in
that parish. And it was settled that we should all
be there by eleven o’clock. My uncle and aunt
and I were to go together; and the others were to
meet us at the church. Well, Monday morning
came, and I was in such a fuss! I was so afraid,
you know, that something would happen to put it
off, and then I should have gone quite distracted.
And there was my aunt, all the time I was dressing, preaching and talking away just as if she was
reading a sermon. However, I did not hear above
one word in ten, for I was thinking, you may suppose, of my dear Wickham. I longed to know
whether he would be married in his blue coat.”
“Well, and so we breakfasted at ten as usual; I
thought it would never be over; for, by the bye,
you are to understand, that my uncle and aunt were
horrid unpleasant all the time I was with them. If
you’ll believe me, I did not once put my foot out
of doors, though I was there a fortnight. Not one
party, or scheme, or anything. To be sure London
was rather thin, but, however, the Little Theatre
was open. Well, and so just as the carriage came
to the door, my uncle was called away upon business to that horrid man Mr. Stone. And then, you
know, when once they get together, there is no
end of it. Well, I was so frightened I did not know
what to do, for my uncle was to give me away;
and if we were beyond the hour, we could not be
married all day. But, luckily, he came back again
in ten minutes’ time, and then we all set out. However, I recollected afterwards that if he had been
prevented going, the wedding need not be put off,
for Mr. Darcy might have done as well.”
“Mr. Darcy!” repeated Elizabeth, in utter amazement.
“Oh, yes! — he was to come there with Wickham,
you know. But gracious me! I quite forgot! I ought
not to have said a word about it. I promised them
so faithfully! What will Wickham say? It was to
be such a secret!”
“If it was to be secret,” said Jane, “say not another word on the subject. You may depend upon
my seeking no further.”
“Oh! certainly,” said Elizabeth, though burning
with curiosity; “we will ask you no questions.”
“Thank you,” said Lydia, “for if you did, I should
certainly tell you all, and then Wickham would be
angry.”
On such encouragement to ask, Elizabeth was
forced to put it out of her power, by running away.
But to live in ignorance on such a point was impossible; or at least it was impossible not to try
for information. Mr. Darcy had been at her sister’s
wedding. It was exactly a scene, and exactly
among people, where he had apparently least to
do, and least temptation to go. Conjectures as to
the meaning of it, rapid and wild, hurried into her
brain; but she was satisfied with none. Those that
best pleased her, as placing his conduct in the
noblest light, seemed most improbable. She could
not bear such suspense; and hastily seizing a sheet
of paper, wrote a short letter to her aunt, to request an explanation of what Lydia had dropt, if it
were compatible with the secrecy which had been
intended.
“You may readily comprehend,” she added, “what
my curiosity must be to know how a person unconnected with any of us, and (comparatively
speaking) a stranger to our family, should have
been amongst you at such a time. Pray write instantly, and let me understand it — unless it is,
for very cogent reasons, to remain in the secrecy
which Lydia seems to think necessary; and then I
must endeavour to be satisfied with ignorance.”

“Not that I SHALL, though,” she added to herself, as she finished the letter; “and my dear aunt,
if you do not tell me in an honourable manner, I
shall certainly be reduced to tricks and stratagems
to find it out.”
Jane’s delicate sense of honour would not allow
her to speak to Elizabeth privately of what Lydia
had let fall; Elizabeth was glad of it — till it appeared whether her inquiries would receive any
satisfaction, she had rather be without a confidante.

CHAPTER 52
Mr. Wickham was so perfectly satisfied with this
conversation that he never again distressed himself, or provoked his dear sister Elizabeth, by introducing the subject of it; and she was pleased to
find that she had said enough to keep him quiet.
The day of his and Lydia’s departure soon came,
and Mrs. Bennet was forced to submit to a separation, which, as her husband by no means entered into her scheme of their all going to
Newcastle, was likely to continue at least a
twelvemonth.
“Oh! my dear Lydia,” she cried, “when shall we
meet again?”
“Oh, lord! I don’t know. Not these two or three
years, perhaps.”
“Write to me very often, my dear.”
“As often as I can. But you know married women
have never much time for writing. My sisters may
write to ME. They will have nothing else to do.”
Mr. Wickham’s adieus were much more affectionate than his wife’s. He smiled, looked handsome, and said many pretty things.
“He is as fine a fellow,” said Mr. Bennet, as soon
as they were out of the house, “as ever I saw. He
simpers, and smirks, and makes love to us all. I
am prodigiously proud of him. I defy even Sir
William Lucas himself to produce a more valuable son-in-law.”
The loss of her daughter made Mrs. Bennet very
dull for several days.
“I often think,” said she, “that there is nothing so
bad as parting with one’s friends. One seems so
forlorn without them.”
“This is the consequence, you see, Madam, of
marrying a daughter,” said Elizabeth. “It must
make you better satisfied that your other four are
single.”
“It is no such thing. Lydia does not leave me because she is married, but only because her
husband’s regiment happens to be so far off. If
that had been nearer, she would not have gone so
soon.”
But the spiritless condition which this event threw
her into was shortly relieved, and her mind opened
again to the agitation of hope, by an article of news
which then began to be in circulation. The housekeeper at Netherfield had received orders to prepare for the arrival of her master, who was coming down in a day or two, to shoot there for several weeks. Mrs. Bennet was quite in the fidgets.
She looked at Jane, and smiled and shook her head
by turns.
“Well, well, and so Mr. Bingley is coming down,
sister,” (for Mrs. Phillips first brought her the
news). “Well, so much the better. Not that I care
about it, though. He is nothing to us, you know,
and I am sure _I_ never want to see him again.
But, however, he is very welcome to come to
Netherfield, if he likes it. And who knows what
MAY happen? But that is nothing to us. You know,
sister, we agreed long ago never to mention a word
about it. And so, is it quite certain he is coming?”
“You may depend on it,” replied the other, “for
Mrs. Nicholls was in Meryton last night; I saw
her passing by, and went out myself on purpose to
know the truth of it; and she told me that it was
certain true. He comes down on Thursday at the
latest, very likely on Wednesday. She was going
to the butcher’s, she told me, on purpose to order
in some meat on Wednesday, and she has got three
couple of ducks just fit to be killed.”
Miss Bennet had not been able to hear of his coming without changing colour. It was many months
since she had mentioned his name to Elizabeth;
but now, as soon as they were alone together, she
said:
“I saw you look at me to-day, Lizzy, when my
aunt told us of the present report; and I know I
appeared distressed. But don’t imagine it was from
any silly cause. I was only confused for the moment, because I felt that I SHOULD be looked
at. I do assure you that the news does not affect
me either with pleasure or pain. I am glad of one
thing, that he comes alone; because we shall see
the less of him. Not that I am afraid of MYSELF,
but I dread other people’s remarks.”
Elizabeth did not know what to make of it. Had

she not seen him in Derbyshire, she might have
supposed him capable of coming there with no
other view than what was acknowledged; but she
still thought him partial to Jane, and she wavered
as to the greater probability of his coming there
WITH his friend’s permission, or being bold
enough to come without it.
“Yet it is hard,” she sometimes thought, “that this
poor man cannot come to a house which he has
legally hired, without raising all this speculation!
I WILL leave him to himself.”
In spite of what her sister declared, and really
believed to be her feelings in the expectation of
his arrival, Elizabeth could easily perceive that
her spirits were affected by it. They were more
disturbed, more unequal, than she had often seen
them.
The subject which had been so warmly canvassed
between their parents, about a twelvemonth ago,
was now brought forward again.
“As soon as ever Mr. Bingley comes, my dear,”
said Mrs. Bennet, “you will wait on him of
course.”
“No, no. You forced me into visiting him last year,
and promised, if I went to see him, he should marry
one of my daughters. But it ended in nothing, and
I will not be sent on a fool’s errand again.”
His wife represented to him how absolutely necessary such an attention would be from all the
neighbouring gentlemen, on his returning to
Netherfield.
“’Tis an etiquette I despise,” said he. “If he wants
our society, let him seek it. He knows where we
live. I will not spend my hours in running after
my neighbours every time they go away and come
back again.”
“Well, all I know is, that it will be abominably
rude if you do not wait on him. But, however, that
shan’t prevent my asking him to dine here, I am
determined. We must have Mrs. Long and the
Gouldings soon. That will make thirteen with ourselves, so there will be just room at table for him.”
Consoled by this resolution, she was the better
able to bear her husband’s incivility; though it was
very mortifying to know that her neighbours might
all see Mr. Bingley, in consequence of it, before
THEY did. As the day of his arrival drew near:
“I begin to be sorry that he comes at all,” said
Jane to her sister. “It would be nothing; I could
see him with perfect indifference, but I can hardly
bear to hear it thus perpetually talked of. My
mother means well; but she does not know, no
one can know, how much I suffer from what she
says. Happy shall I be, when his stay at
Netherfield is over!”
“I wish I could say anything to comfort you,” replied Elizabeth; “but it is wholly out of my power.
You must feel it; and the usual satisfaction of
preaching patience to a sufferer is denied me,
because you have always so much.”
Mr. Bingley arrived. Mrs. Bennet, through the
assistance of servants, contrived to have the earliest tidings of it, that the period of anxiety and
fretfulness on her side might be as long as it could.
She counted the days that must intervene before
their invitation could be sent; hopeless of seeing
him before. But on the third morning after his arrival in Hertfordshire, she saw him, from her
dressing-room window, enter the paddock and ride
towards the house.
Her daughters were eagerly called to partake of
her joy. Jane resolutely kept her place at the table;
but Elizabeth, to satisfy her mother, went to the
window — she looked — she saw Mr. Darcy with
him, and sat down again by her sister.
“There is a gentleman with him, mamma,” said
Kitty; “who can it be?”
“Some acquaintance or other, my dear, I suppose;
I am sure I do not know.”
“La!” replied Kitty, “it looks just like that man
that used to be with him before. Mr. what’s-hisname. That tall, proud man.”
“Good gracious! Mr. Darcy! — and so it does, I
vow. Well, any friend of Mr. Bingley’s will always be welcome here, to be sure; but else I must
say that I hate the very sight of him.”
Jane looked at Elizabeth with surprise and concern. She knew but little of their meeting in
Derbyshire, and therefore felt for the awkwardness which must attend her sister, in seeing him
almost for the first time after receiving his explanatory letter. Both sisters were uncomfortable
enough. Each felt for the other, and of course for
themselves; and their mother talked on, of her
dislike of Mr. Darcy, and her resolution to be civil
to him only as Mr. Bingley’s friend, without being
heard by either of them. But Elizabeth had sources
of uneasiness which could not be suspected by
Jane, to whom she had never yet had courage to
shew Mrs. Gardiner’s letter, or to relate her own

change of sentiment towards him. To Jane, he
could be only a man whose proposals she had refused, and whose merit she had undervalued; but
to her own more extensive information, he was
the person to whom the whole family were indebted for the first of benefits, and whom she regarded herself with an interest, if not quite so tender, at least as reasonable and just as what Jane
felt for Bingley. Her astonishment at his coming
— at his coming to Netherfield, to Longbourn,
and voluntarily seeking her again, was almost
equal to what she had known on first witnessing
his altered behaviour in Derbyshire.
The colour which had been driven from her face,
returned for half a minute with an additional glow,
and a smile of delight added lustre to her eyes, as
she thought for that space of time that his affection and wishes must still be unshaken. But she
would not be secure.
“Let me first see how he behaves,” said she; “it
will then be early enough for expectation.”
She sat intently at work, striving to be composed,
and without daring to lift up her eyes, till anxious
curiosity carried them to the face of her sister as
the servant was approaching the door. Jane looked
a little paler than usual, but more sedate than
Elizabeth had expected. On the gentlemen’s appearing, her colour increased; yet she received
them with tolerable ease, and with a propriety of
behaviour equally free from any symptom of resentment or any unnecessary complaisance.
Elizabeth said as little to either as civility would
allow, and sat down again to her work, with an
eagerness which it did not often command. She
had ventured only one glance at Darcy. He looked
serious, as usual; and, she thought, more as he
had been used to look in Hertfordshire, than as
she had seen him at Pemberley. But, perhaps he
could not in her mother’s presence be what he
was before her uncle and aunt. It was a painful,
but not an improbable, conjecture.
Bingley, she had likewise seen for an instant, and
in that short period saw him looking both pleased
and embarrassed. He was received by Mrs.
Bennet with a degree of civility which made her
two daughters ashamed, especially when contrasted with the cold and ceremonious politeness
of her curtsey and address to his friend.
Elizabeth, particularly, who knew that her mother
owed to the latter the preservation of her favourite
daughter from irremediable infamy, was hurt and
distressed to a most painful degree by a distinction so ill applied.
Darcy, after inquiring of her how Mr. and Mrs.
Gardiner did, a question which she could not answer without confusion, said scarcely anything.
He was not seated by her; perhaps that was the
reason of his silence; but it had not been so in
Derbyshire. There he had talked to her friends,
when he could not to herself. But now several
minutes elapsed without bringing the sound of his
voice; and when occasionally, unable to resist the
impulse of curiosity, she raised he eyes to his face,
she as often found him looking at Jane as at herself, and frequently on no object but the ground.
More thoughtfulness and less anxiety to please,
than when they last met, were plainly expressed.
She was disappointed, and angry with herself for
being so.
“Could I expect it to be otherwise!” said she. “Yet
why did he come?”
She was in no humour for conversation with anyone but himself; and to him she had hardly courage to speak.
She inquired after his sister, but could do no more.
“It is a long time, Mr. Bingley, since you went
away,” said Mrs. Bennet.
He readily agreed to it.
“I began to be afraid you would never come back
again. People DID say you meant to quit the place
entirely at Michaelmas; but, however, I hope it is
not true. A great many changes have happened in
the neighbourhood, since you went away. Miss
Lucas is married and settled. And one of my own
daughters. I suppose you have heard of it; indeed,
you must have seen it in the papers. It was in The
Times and The Courier, I know; though it was not
put in as it ought to be. It was only said, ‘Lately,
George Wickham, Esq. to Miss Lydia Bennet,’
without there being a syllable said of her father,
or the place where she lived, or anything. It was
my brother Gardiner’s drawing up too, and I wonder how he came to make such an awkward business of it. Did you see it?”
Bingley replied that he did, and made his congratulations. Elizabeth dared not lift up her eyes.
How Mr. Darcy looked, therefore, she could not
tell.
“It is a delightful thing, to be sure, to have a daugh- Continued on Page 62

Page 62 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, May 27, 2012

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Observer Classic Books
From Page 61
ter well married,” continued her mother, “but at
the same time, Mr. Bingley, it is very hard to have
her taken such a way from me. They are gone
down to Newcastle, a place quite northward, it
seems, and there they are to stay I do not know
how long. His regiment is there; for I suppose
you have heard of his leaving the —— shire, and
of his being gone into the regulars. Thank
Heaven! he has SOME friends, though perhaps
not so many as he deserves.”
Elizabeth, who knew this to be levelled at Mr.
Darcy, was in such misery of shame, that she could
hardly keep her seat. It drew from her, however,
the exertion of speaking, which nothing else had
so effectually done before; and she asked Bingley
whether he meant to make any stay in the country
at present. A few weeks, he believed.
“When you have killed all your own birds, Mr.
Bingley,” said her mother, “I beg you will come
here, and shoot as many as you please on Mr.
Bennet’s manor. I am sure he will be vastly happy
to oblige you, and will save all the best of the
covies for you.”
Elizabeth’s misery increased, at such unnecessary, such officious attention! Were the same fair
prospect to arise at present as had flattered them
a year ago, every thing, she was persuaded, would
be hastening to the same vexatious conclusion.
At that instant, she felt that years of happiness
could not make Jane or herself amends for moments of such painful confusion.
“The first wish of my heart,” said she to herself,
“is never more to be in company with either of
them. Their society can afford no pleasure that
will atone for such wretchedness as this! Let me
never see either one or the other again!”
Yet the misery, for which years of happiness were
to offer no compensation, received soon afterwards material relief, from observing how much
the beauty of her sister re-kindled the admiration
of her former lover. When first he came in, he
had spoken to her but little; but every five minutes seemed to be giving her more of his attention. He found her as handsome as she had been
last year; as good natured, and as unaffected,
though not quite so chatty. Jane was anxious that
no difference should be perceived in her at all,
and was really persuaded that she talked as much
as ever. But her mind was so busily engaged, that
she did not always know when she was silent.

When the gentlemen rose to go away, Mrs. Bennet
was mindful of her intended civility, and they were
invited and engaged to dine at Longbourn in a few
days time.
“You are quite a visit in my debt, Mr. Bingley,”
she added, “for when you went to town last winter, you promised to take a family dinner with us,
as soon as you returned. I have not forgot, you
see; and I assure you, I was very much disappointed that you did not come back and keep your
engagement.”
Bingley looked a little silly at this reflection, and
said something of his concern at having been prevented by business. They then went away.
Mrs. Bennet had been strongly inclined to ask them
to stay and dine there that day; but, though she
always kept a very good table, she did not think
anything less than two courses could be good
enough for a man on whom she had such anxious
designs, or satisfy the appetite and pride of one
who had ten thousand a year.

CHAPTER 53
Mr. Wickham was so perfectly satisfied with this
conversation that he never again distressed himself, or provoked his dear sister Elizabeth, by introducing the subject of it; and she was pleased to
find that she had said enough to keep him quiet.
The day of his and Lydia’s departure soon came,
and Mrs. Bennet was forced to submit to a separation, which, as her husband by no means entered into her scheme of their all going to
Newcastle, was likely to continue at least a
twelvemonth.
“Oh! my dear Lydia,” she cried, “when shall we
meet again?”
“Oh, lord! I don’t know. Not these two or three
years, perhaps.”
“Write to me very often, my dear.”
“As often as I can. But you know married women
have never much time for writing. My sisters may
write to ME. They will have nothing else to do.”
Mr. Wickham’s adieus were much more affectionate than his wife’s. He smiled, looked handsome, and said many pretty things.
“He is as fine a fellow,” said Mr. Bennet, as soon
as they were out of the house, “as ever I saw. He
simpers, and smirks, and makes love to us all. I
am prodigiously proud of him. I defy even Sir
William Lucas himself to produce a more valuable son-in-law.”

The loss of her daughter made Mrs. Bennet very
dull for several days.
“I often think,” said she, “that there is nothing so
bad as parting with one’s friends. One seems so
forlorn without them.”
“This is the consequence, you see, Madam, of
marrying a daughter,” said Elizabeth. “It must
make you better satisfied that your other four are
single.”
“It is no such thing. Lydia does not leave me because she is married, but only because her
husband’s regiment happens to be so far off. If
that had been nearer, she would not have gone so
soon.”
But the spiritless condition which this event threw
her into was shortly relieved, and her mind opened
again to the agitation of hope, by an article of news
which then began to be in circulation. The housekeeper at Netherfield had received orders to prepare for the arrival of her master, who was coming down in a day or two, to shoot there for several weeks. Mrs. Bennet was quite in the fidgets.
She looked at Jane, and smiled and shook her head
by turns.
“Well, well, and so Mr. Bingley is coming down,
sister,” (for Mrs. Phillips first brought her the
news). “Well, so much the better. Not that I care
about it, though. He is nothing to us, you know,
and I am sure _I_ never want to see him again.
But, however, he is very welcome to come to
Netherfield, if he likes it. And who knows what
MAY happen? But that is nothing to us. You know,
sister, we agreed long ago never to mention a word
about it. And so, is it quite certain he is coming?”
“You may depend on it,” replied the other, “for
Mrs. Nicholls was in Meryton last night; I saw
her passing by, and went out myself on purpose to
know the truth of it; and she told me that it was
certain true. He comes down on Thursday at the
latest, very likely on Wednesday. She was going
to the butcher’s, she told me, on purpose to order
in some meat on Wednesday, and she has got three
couple of ducks just fit to be killed.”
Miss Bennet had not been able to hear of his coming without changing colour. It was many months
since she had mentioned his name to Elizabeth;
but now, as soon as they were alone together, she
said:
“I saw you look at me to-day, Lizzy, when my
aunt told us of the present report; and I know I
appeared distressed. But don’t imagine it was from

any silly cause. I was only confused for the moment, because I felt that I SHOULD be looked
at. I do assure you that the news does not affect
me either with pleasure or pain. I am glad of one
thing, that he comes alone; because we shall see
the less of him. Not that I am afraid of MYSELF,
but I dread other people’s remarks.”
Elizabeth did not know what to make of it. Had
she not seen him in Derbyshire, she might have
supposed him capable of coming there with no
other view than what was acknowledged; but she
still thought him partial to Jane, and she wavered
as to the greater probability of his coming there
WITH his friend’s permission, or being bold
enough to come without it.
“Yet it is hard,” she sometimes thought, “that this
poor man cannot come to a house which he has
legally hired, without raising all this speculation!
I WILL leave him to himself.”
In spite of what her sister declared, and really
believed to be her feelings in the expectation of
his arrival, Elizabeth could easily perceive that
her spirits were affected by it. They were more
disturbed, more unequal, than she had often seen
them.
The subject which had been so warmly canvassed
between their parents, about a twelvemonth ago,
was now brought forward again.
“As soon as ever Mr. Bingley comes, my dear,”
said Mrs. Bennet, “you will wait on him of
course.”
“No, no. You forced me into visiting him last year,
and promised, if I went to see him, he should marry
one of my daughters. But it ended in nothing, and
I will not be sent on a fool’s errand again.”
His wife represented to him how absolutely necessary such an attention would be from all the
neighbouring gentlemen, on his returning to
Netherfield.
“’Tis an etiquette I despise,” said he. “If he wants
our society, let him seek it. He knows where we
live. I will not spend my hours in running after
my neighbours every time they go away and come
back again.”
“Well, all I know is, that it will be abominably
rude if you do not wait on him. But, however, that
shan’t prevent my asking him to dine here, I am
determined. We must have Mrs. Long and the
Gouldings soon. That will make thirteen with ourselves, so there will be just room at table for him.”
Consoled by this resolution, she was the better
able to bear her husband’s incivility; though it was
very mortifying to know that her neighbours might
all see Mr. Bingley, in consequence of it, before
THEY did. As the day of his arrival drew near:
To Be Continued Next Issue

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