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GALLERY: 8 most ridiculous things Charlie Sheen said at the Joe Carter Classic after party

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"I just go into my back yard with a bag of watermelons and a baseball bat and just take it out on imaginary Warner Brothers executives." (Photo by William Wolfe-Wylie/Canada.com)

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"I’m always winning, but not as a gambler." (Photo by William Wolfe-Wylie/Canada.com)

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"A guy stuck in a chair, in a diaper, drunk, making poo-poo jokes -- eight years of that; I’ve got to move on." (Photo by William Wolfe-Wylie/Canada.com)

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"I just want to be [Lindsay Lohan's] temporary life coach. I’m going to teach her how to laugh at herself." (Photo by William Wolfe-Wylie/Canada.com)

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"After Anger Management I’ll retire. Yeah man, I have five kids that are tired of me being on the set." (Photo by William Wolfe-Wylie/Canada.com)

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"Barry Obama lied about everything and it's hideous what he did and what he’s doing. I’m no Mormon but I’ll take a shot on the new guy. Anything, anything different than lobbyists and bankers." (Photo by William Wolfe-Wylie/Canada.com)

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"If we can’t get Wesley [Snipes] out [of jail], we’ll shoot him in close up." (Photo by William Wolfe-Wylie/Canada.com)