1975

Two FBI Special Agents, Agent Miller and Agent Mueller, are cruising through the Nevada desert in a black unmarked sedan.

Mueller:

As the bi-centennial of this country approaches, do you ever feel like you're caught in a bad episode of dragnet?

Miller:

What do you mean, like twilight zone or something?

Mueller:

No, I mean we've seen a lot of crime scenes together and have you noticed our speech has become, more, just the facts ma'am?

Miller:

Yeah, you're right. It's almost as if we're becoming more automated.

Mueller:

Yeah, or like preparing to be recorded by Congress.

Miller:

What do you make of it?

Mueller:

I think it has to do with the new field chief, he's Catholic.

Miller:

You don't like Catholics?

Mueller:

Well, through history they have a tendency to concentrate money and manipulate the public.

Miller:

Exactly and we're tasked with protecting copyright, the non-sectarian way to manipulate or educate the public.

Mueller:

Have you ever looked into Quaker Atheism?

Miller:

I actually have and agree with the concept.

Mueller: Just seems like you are devoted to meeting at a meeting house and voting.

Miller:

And not being manipulated by religion or its elders.

Mueller:

Do you believe in intuition?

Miller:

Somewhat, but I believe in facts as well.

Mueller:

I have a feeling that facts are going to fall by the wayside with this new religion this Gordon E. Moore is preaching out of California, but I used to.

Miller:

Are you stuck on the crime scene in Utah?

Mueller:

I am, the Sheriff kept ranting about hitchhikers and a serial killer but I checked into him, he's Catholic.

Miller:

Are we allowed to do that?

Mueller:

Look into an elected or appointed official, of course, it's our job.

Miller:

Is that profiling?

Mueller:

No, picking up blacks for no reason is profiling. But our Catholic chief of the Southwest region did just send a fresh new Catholic schoolgirl for the position of Profiler at our field office.

Miller:

What do you think that is all about?

Mueller:

Well, new position on the Federal payroll, pretty sure it's about spreading the myth of the serial killer and expanding the Bureau. Have you ever looked in to the field offices?

Miller:

How do you mean?

Mueller:

It appears that every state in the Union has at least one FBI field office, then there is California which has two.

Miller:

Ok, is that good or bad?

Mueller:

Well if you believe our payroll should come from the federal budget and you have looked into the Philadelphia field office, it's a bad thing.

Miller:

Philadelphia, home of the 76ers.

Mueller:

Have you heard of the Catholic Gathering of Men?

Miller:

Yeah, bunch of men meet in Cathedrals, talk about Jesus.

Mueller:

The Philadelphia field office is split into eight different teams. And my intuition tells me that the Catholics have a Gathering of Catholic Men in a Cathedral in Boston for the Democrats and another one in a Cathedral in New York City for the Republicans. Then the money they threw down for the year goes to 4 FBI partner teams for one party and 4 FBI partner teams for the other and they fly out of Philadelphia to deposit the currency in Swiss bank accounts.

Miller:

So, like Treasury Agents?

Mueller:

More like Corporate-Catholic takeover of all government, or like the drug-mules they watch for at the border with Mexico. But you are correct in essence, a valid U.S. Passport and FBI Identification will get you just about anywhere. I've never met a Treasury Agent, have you?

Miller:

I had an encounter with one a while back. He showed me his bank card and it was a Maestro. He said he hoped for travel outside of the country someday, but because U.S. Immigration had Visa programs for citizenship and work and American banks offer a Visa bank card he didn't know if he would ever be allowed into another nation.

Mueller:

What was his reasoning?

Miller:

He said the banking industry was out of control and they only have 2 nationalized currency access systems, Visa and Mastercard. Because there are only 2 political parties, no one will stand up publicly to the bankers. That's why he went with Maestro, said it was offensive to dominate world markets with U.S. banks and carry a card named Mastercard.

Mueller:

The United States Constitution actually states that the Federal Legislature was supposed to fund a nationwide newspaper to inform people of its daily business. They never delivered.

Miller:

Do you think this newspaper would have been able to stop this Catholic Corporate takeover?

Mueller:

I think the newspaper should have been the FBI's only focus when the Bureau was founded. Instead I think this Catholic-Christian leadership wants to manipulate national media rather than presenting the truth.

Miller:

Most copyright infractions can be settled in Common Law Court. How does this tie into the Utah murder scene?

Mueller:

I called a friend in a mid-western FBI field office and he told me two partners were called from his office to the same stretch of Utah highway some time ago.

Miller:

So the Catholic Sheriff wants to see coordination on his serial killer theory?

Mueller:

Have you seen the ads on television about the dangers of hitchhiking?

Miller:

I have, looks like they are funded by the government.

Mueller:

I think Washington is trying to get the Central and Mountain time-zone FBI field offices on board with the idea that those minority deaths and disappearances related to hitchhiking are a major threat and danger to public safety, as a distraction from what they are doing internationally.

Miller:

You don't agree with the threat?

Mueller:

It's a propaganda scheme to pass legislation to prohibit a citizen's right to freedom of movement throughout the land. Washington and the States will use it to pass legislation to promote State's Rights and there is always something shady in new legislation.

Miller:

Like making State Troopers arrest hitchhikers to get them on paperwork.

Mueller:

Exactly and limit State Police jurisdiction so that we're the only authority that can cross state lines.

Miller:

What's the point of showing up to a crime scene in another state if we can't get one viable authoritative witness from an adjoining state to come over and back us?

Mueller:

Very good agent Miller, how would you explain the missing persons last seen along a highway?

Miller:

The Area 51 Airbase.

Mueller:

Please don't tell me your theories about space aliens again.

Miller:

My theories have altered as we near the bicentennial.

Mueller:

Maybe you are getting some of that intuition. Do tell.

Miller:

Probably a Catholic base commander at Area 51, that would line up with your logic. So if we think about WWI, the European elite allowed the commoners to fight on the ground , but funded fighter aircraft for their thrill seeking children as a new military tactic.

Mueller:

Agreed, the wealthy hid their children in a fledgling Air Force.

Miller:

So, what if Area 51 is the modern equivalent of that scenario? I'm saying that non-religious families with high wealth or equity in our nation have children with natural ambitions to fly in the Military. They become elite pilots and then are approached to fly prototype aircraft out of Area 51. First, they have to sign contracts to have the highest clearances within the military.

Mueller:

So they become trapped and so does the status of their inheritance.

Miller:

Precisely, that's the reason for the UFO sightings. They're just test aircraft financed off of these pilot's inheritance.

Mueller:

So they sign to fly, but are trapped for life.

Miller:

If one twisted Catholic base commander is assigned there and tasked with locking down government secrets, then it could quite possibly mean locking these pilots up on base.

Mueller:

So then the disappearances?

Miller:

It's a bit romantic, but if these experimental aircraft are designed to test the boundaries of physics, then when the U.S. Airman is allowed out of the Brig to fly at night maybe his or her perfect mate are out hitching the highway that night.

Mueller:

I get it, so the Airman hits Mach 5...

Miller:

And the hiker disappears.

Mueller:

I concur, I know our state field office is headed by a Catholic and I believe Area 51 is under Catholic Base Command.

Miller:

We've talked about the end. Let's do it tonight.

Mueller:

Got it, we're headed to the reservation.

The clicking of the sedan's turn signal click-clack's.

Miller: How would you solve it? The field offices, fake serial killers, disappearances?

Mueller:

We have good simple phone lines to all of these field offices so I would solve it with 8 female FBI agents in every state.

Miller:

8 in every state?

Mueller:

Yes, 8 women that have studied the history of organized religion and understand that it has led to most of history's atrocities.

Miller:

So 8 non-religious women in each field office. To do what?

Mueller:

To be the only people on Federal payroll and man their phones to advise local and state police in their investigations.

Miller:

I like it, keeps task forces from coming in and using the building, like Vice or Immigration or even Biomedical Readiness.

Mueller:

Exactly, local and state police can use the U.S. Postal service to mail crime scene photographs and other logged evidence to the field office for future advice.

Miller:

How do you get there?

Mueller:

A Catholic like our new boss would ask a question like, "do you identify as Catholic?" weed through his employees, but I think a simple question to female FBI would find quick results, "would you be comfortable in your job if every elected position in the United States of America were held by a black or non-white citizen?"

Miller:

Interesting, expose the feminists that cite black men having the vote first, but not feminism altogether.

Mueller:

I was going for the inherent racism involved with organized religion, but good point nevertheless.

The sedan pulls off to the side of a dirt road in the desert.

Miller:

This is good, just like we talked about.

Mueller:

Before we get out of the vehicle, we both agree that this new chief is going to blame this on an indigenous Native American.

Miller:

Agreed, he'll have many options, but the Catholics always go with the easiest explanation.

The two agents step out of the sedan and quietly latch their doors. They walk fifteen paces out onto the desert and together pull their service pistols putting each muzzle to the other agent's head. They pull their pistols to their sides looking eye to eye in the still of the night.

Mueller:

We've never practiced, that was good.

Miller:

Orwell says we only have until 1983 before we're doomed to totalitarianism.

Mueller:

That's only two more graduating classes of potential Federal employees.

Miller:

Let's hope they're all Anarchists and Atheists.

Mueller:

Catholics, seize power in order to tell their underlings, "If we act and things get ugly, I'll go to bat for you, I'll go in front of Congress, anything." But they only deliver when the ones they want killed are ended. An anarchist leader says to those groomed to follow orders, "insurance is a scam to create inaction, you now have autonomy, I'll domy best to defend your actions, I will not cover up the truth, however, I may have to wait until the time is optimal to tell it."

Miller:

An anarchist should be the base commander of Area 51.

Mueller:

On, three.

Miller:

A final thought in light of your words. If a multifaceted attack struck the United States that caused all air traffic to be grounded nationwide and Washington D.C. decided to enter into war in reaction to it, shouldn't all air traffic stay grounded for at least 5 years to show solidarity with Marine airmen that sign for 5 years?

Mueller:

It's the only way to get all of the airmen out of experimental lock-down on Area 51.

The two agents again place their muzzles to the other's forehead.

Miller:

Un

Mueller:

Deux

Miller:

Troix!

The shot's echo across the vast black wilderness as a quail flushes into the night.