Hello from the 2nd coming of hell from the heat called North Texas. Ill stop complaining but its gross. I love to shower but you cant wash this heat off. Come by and visit me sometime if your from the north I’ll show you how to start a fire off your skin.

My friend Angela sent me a message the other day and said your plankton. you go to the light and bring it back to dark and share. I asked her is that good? She said yes you need to watch a video she posted from Sadie Robertson from Duck Dynasty. Said she talked about plankton and I immediately came to her mind. I told her I had been called a lot of things in my life but that was a first. She said your one of those people who share their light with others. So i had to watch the video because the only plankton I knew was from sponge bob.

A plankton is: Plankton (singular plankter) are a diverse group of organisms that live in the water column of large bodies of water and that cannot swim against a current. They provide a crucial source of food to many large aquatic organisms, such as fish and whales. The name plankton is derived from the Greek adjective πλαγκτός (planktos), meaning errant, and by extension “wanderer” or “drifter.

So at this time Im like well I kinda suck, wanderer, cant swim, a drifter, and things eat me but I continued to listen. Im a floater now. Plankton start at the bottom of the dark ocean and float their way to the top to receive light (photosynthesis) once it receives the light it goes back down to the darkest part of the ocean to provide 90% of the oceans photosynthesis which in turns provides 50% of the worlds oxygen. So it starts at the bottom of the ocean and goes to the light to bring it back to those things that need it.

So I stopped and thought that’s the best compliment I have ever been given. Truly it is. I have been in the deepest darkest places. I have walked with the devil for a long time, I manipulated life and those around me, I lied to get what I wanted, but truly all I wanted was to receive the light and had no idea how to get there. When I went to take my life there were 2 options take my life or receive the light. Receiving the light is not easy. Its not walking into a room and flipping the switch. Its one, stop believing the lies we have told our self for years, cleaning out the people around us, and then believing what God says about us without say but, . It took me 36 years to get to the point so I can’t expect to receive all the light in one day. What I hope through my texts, messages, blog, speaking, Facebook and Instagram posts is one person take my garbage that I’m real about and says if this guy can do it I can to. I try everyday to go to the light and bring it to those who need it because in all honesty I hate for anyone to feel the way I did or do.

So I wear the title of Plankton as an honor. Some days floating around knowing that someone is going to use me a a source and bring oxygen to them that they may not have had before. I hope I can continue bringing light to you and if I haven’t maybe I will drift into you shortly and help you just when you need it. LOVE YOU

Remember naps, kool aid, recess, playing outside until you were so tired you came in I took a bath passed out and did it again the next day. What about getting something in the mail,run out to the mailbox but no yet, drinking from a water hose, jumping into a pond just because, or taking your shoes off just because. trying to have fun because it was fun, not to have fun to compensate to make yourself feel better. Anyway I’m saying being an adult is dumb and we continue to do the same thing.

Let say the stats are correct and 2% of people live they life they want. I’ll be generous and say 10% are living the life they want. So that leaves us the other 90%. Here are the things we celebrate now,

I got to work on time,

They canceled the meeting,

Jeans day,

A catered lunch,

Getting to leave 5 minutes early

Living to get a tax return check that we shouldn’t have paid over tot he government anyway

Getting to eat a meal at home. It used to happen everyday

2 weeks of vacation to work 50 weeks. Then we dread the end of vacation because how much work we have when we get back

Praying to God that the dr., lawyer or bank stay open past 5 so you can get business done so you don’t have to do everything Saturday.

That someone will celebrate your birthday

You go to the mailbox hoping its empty

That somebody would do their laundry

Can we order pizza because I don’t give a crap about anybody eating

Someone body I cared about texted me but I haven’t heard their voice in 2 years

I worked to retirement YAY, now my health sucks so bad I can’t enjoy it

We get 2 breaks a day to go to the bathroom

Somebody waved at me. Do they like me. It used to mean people were friendly.

You have to be sick to feel like you can stay in bed

Someone pays you a compliment.

I paid my bills for the month yes, oh crap its time to start paying them again.

I could go on but how freaking sad is it that life has become this. Routine is a killer of the soul. Why have we accepted this. It’s not God’s plan. ts not our plan but we stick ourselves in the butt with it and wonder why it hurts. It’s just dub, we stopped having fun, or our fun is were going to drink until we don’t remember, because Hangovers are a blast.

My boss is a dumb arse and if you don’t think you’re a dumb arse you are the boss. We live this life to get to a point to enjoy it then our health fades, our love dies, kids move on forget about us until were dying.

Im not trying to be a pessimist but I’m sick of people not living. Take them damn trip, eat the food you shouldn’t , if your job sucks find another one, if you want a dog buy one. Just live because if you were giving a month to live you would start but its to late.

Oh but Tyler I don’t what to do. Okay good stop doing this stupid crap I listed that’s a good start. The only person going to make your life better is you. I mean nobody else will. Don’t blame, just do it.

Once again I made myself so tired from the weekend that I feel asleep with a book in my hand last night. That crap of learning by osmosis isn’t working either. At least I look smart falling asleep. I’m also pretty lucky because my family got to hear my testimony this weekend. Rock Bottom Outreach spoke at a church in Azle and everything just fell into place for them to be there. AS excited as I was I had no idea how they would respond. They cried and I know they understand me just a tad bit more. Needless to say Big Jesus showed up!

Sometimes I can be the greatest communicator on earth and other times not so much. I heard a speaker once say that once you stop asking questions, asking why, and assuming that you have started your trek to failure. I failed in my marriage because I thought I knew everything I needed to about her and our life and it started to show I didn’t care. I stopped asking. Assumption is poison. Why? How many times did you get mad at someone who didn’t ask you about something and you got mad. When you asked them why and they said I just thought I knew. I instill in my kids never assume because you will always be wrong. Why not ask and just save the pain?

Why because it hurts to hear the truth. It might be uncomfortable but if you can’t or don’t conflict arises and nobody likes conflict. Well mostly nobody! I have learned this more in the dating world. If you have a failure to communicate or won’t communicate I’m not the guy for you. I learned with hiding my junk it caused ripples which turned into waves. You don’t have to communicate and that’s okay but not for me. When I got real with God I got to see the true me but came to expect to see that in everybody else. It doesn’t happen that way. I want to see any and everything about you. Yes even that. I know your thinking he’s going to judge me. I try so hard not to judge but guess we all judge. No matter how hard we try. My first judging turns into appreciation that you shared. There is not a better compliment that I opened up to you because I feel I could talk to you about anything.

This blog may seem pointless and not very deep and I’m sorry it’s not more but I think it has so much here in the few words I typed. If your hearing the great Cool Hand Luke in the back of your mind tell you “what we have here is a failure to communicate” then you have failure and its time to open that mouth and ask.

Once again I made myself so tired from the weekend that I feel asleep with a book in my hand last night. That crap of learning by osmosis isn’t working either. At least I look smart falling asleep. I’m also pretty lucky because my family got to hear my testimony this weekend. Rock Bottom Outreach spoke at a church in Azle and everything just fell into place for them to be there. AS excited as I was I had no idea how they would respond. They cried and I know they understand me just a tad bit more. Needless to say Big Jesus showed up!

Sometimes I can be the greatest communicator on earth and other times not so much. I heard a speaker once say that once you stop asking questions, asking why, and assuming that you have started your trek to failure. I failed in my marriage because I thought I knew everything I needed to about her and our life and it started to show I didn’t care. I stopped asking. Assumption is poison. Why? How many times did you get mad at someone who didn’t ask you about something and you got mad. When you asked them why and they said I just thought I knew. I instill in my kids never assume because you will always be wrong. Why not ask and just save the pain?

Why because it hurts to hear the truth. It might be uncomfortable but if you can’t or don’t conflict arises and nobody likes conflict. Well mostly nobody! I have learned this more in the dating world. If you have a failure to communicate or won’t communicate I’m not the guy for you. I learned with hiding my junk it caused ripples which turned into waves. You don’t have to communicate and that’s okay but not for me. When I got real with God I got to see the true me but came to expect to see that in everybody else. It doesn’t happen that way. I want to see any and everything about you. Yes even that. I know your thinking he’s going to judge me. I try so hard not to judge but guess we all judge. No matter how hard we try. My first judging turns into appreciation that you shared. There is not a better compliment that I opened up to you because I feel I could talk to you about anything.

This blog may seem pointless and not very deep and I’m sorry it’s not more but I think it has so much here in the few words I typed. If your hearing the great Cool Hand Luke in the back of your mind tell you “what we have here is a failure to communicate” then you have failure and its time to open that mouth and ask.

We made it through Ice Armageddon 2015. It was bad and we had 4 inches of snow. We made real snowman not made of grass and we made snow ice cream that wasn’t yellow. I enjoy the snow but I swear people’s IQ drops 100 points. Its more dangerous of the idiots that wont drive right than the ones that don’t know how. Anyway here we are with spring around the corner. Bring on the heat!!!

We are taught to always let people now we are okay. Since we were children. If someone asks you’re doing great or okay. You could have been crying in the car but you were told to dry it up and act like you were okay. We take that into adult hood and no matter how much we want to reach out we get the question: How you doing? We always say I’m good, I’m okay. The answer infuriates me even when I know your not okay or good. Guess what I’m the worst at giving you the generic answer of I’m good and I’m okay. WHy do we do it!!

I have a few reasons. One people truly don’t care how you are. They ask because were supposed too. It becomes the customary thing to say. Have you ever told someone besides the customary answer and they freak out. Honestly I’m bad today and They have no response. They just want to move on and hope that they never ask you again how you’re doing.

Reason two: We have no idea how were doing. We aren’t good, bad, we are lost in our thoughts. We want to tell you something but were hurting too much, we are just lost or we truly we don’t know. When I was getting divorced if you caught me at the right time I might cry on you and it was just safer

Reason three: You haven’t earned the right to know how I’m doing. I give you a generic answer because you haven’t put in on my life and honestly you’re not important enough to know how I’m doing. Since I know your asking because it’s the right thing to do not because you care I’ll reserve the right not to share. If I decided to share with you and you turn away, then in my moment of sharing , you crushed my spirits either good or bad.

Reason four: We actually maybe good and I don’t want you to rain on my parade. Some people may be happy for you but most times in life people get upset at others people’s success or happiness. You share it with the wrong person and your good moment turns to crap. So you just say I’m okay and go tell someone who really cares.

Reason five: People don’t know how to be real. Do you know if you spoke what you felt or when someone pays you a compliment at that time you ask. people really want to communicate with you they just don’t know how. They try one time it doesn’t work out and they will never do it again. We know people who just lost a relative, spouse and child and because we are trained to ask we say How are you? Then we get I’m okay. We want to slap ourselves for asking but what if they answer. All I’m saying is do what I do sometimes. If someone asks how are you, say are you sure you want to know. It gives them an out but it also gives you an in. Share your heart sometimes what comes out on the other side is pretty good or I guess okay 🙂

I bought school supplies for my kids today. Good Lord that was expensive no I mean really expensive. I need your help please. I was selected as one of the 6 finalist for A Free Jet Pack Trip in California by Leslie Carter and Bucketlistpublications.com but I need your vote please.

I heard a message about The Placebo effect on Monday. What is it? The placebo effect refers to the phenomenon in which some people experience some type of benefit after the administration of a placebo. A placebo is a substance with no known medical effects, such as sterile water, saline solution or a sugar pill. In short, a placebo is a fake treatment that in some cases can produce a very real response. The expectations of the patient play an important role in the placebo effect; the more a person expects the treatment to work, the more likely they are to exhibit a placebo response. What this means to me is that you are what you believe. If you think you are not good enough, your ugly, you don’t deserve it, you’re not worth it then guess what? You are what you think. If you don’t think the placebo effect works think about when someone gives you a compliment and how much better you feel for a short time. The problem become that you don’t plant or use your placebo. Someone else cannot be your placebo effect. They can enhance it but not be it.

If you know me I’m the hardest critic in the world on me. Some of my thoughts: your ugly, your to big, you’re not funny, you’ll never be good enough, nobody will ever want to understand you, your not a good daddy, your average,. It hurts seeing those things typed out but its true. I try to be real but it still hurts. If I always thought things then my life would never change. So I;m really working everyday to compliment me, tell me Im good and see if the Placebo Effect work. It’s amazing how much more positive I am when I feel good about me. Here is what you have to do: You have to do it everyday and when the crap thoughts creep on you say a prayer to God and do the following:Change your mind, Don’t label yourself, Stop blaming others (you are in charge of you and everything you do and say), Guard your heart, and put on the Armour of God because when the devil has you a, your screwed if you don’t turn to God.

This will be the hardest thing you do but I promise you it works! You are worth it so do it. Love ya

I bought school supplies for my kids today. Good Lord that was expensive no I mean really expensive. I need your help please. I was selected as one of the 6 finalist for A Free Jet Pack Trip in California by Leslie Carter and Bucketlistpublications.com but I need your vote please.

I heard a message about The Placebo effect on Monday. What is it? The placebo effect refers to the phenomenon in which some people experience some type of benefit after the administration of a placebo. A placebo is a substance with no known medical effects, such as sterile water, saline solution or a sugar pill. In short, a placebo is a fake treatment that in some cases can produce a very real response. The expectations of the patient play an important role in the placebo effect; the more a person expects the treatment to work, the more likely they are to exhibit a placebo response. What this means to me is that you are what you believe. If you think you are not good enough, your ugly, you don’t deserve it, you’re not worth it then guess what? You are what you think. If you don’t think the placebo effect works think about when someone gives you a compliment and how much better you feel for a short time. The problem become that you don’t plant or use your placebo. Someone else cannot be your placebo effect. They can enhance it but not be it.

If you know me I’m the hardest critic in the world on me. Some of my thoughts: your ugly, your to big, you’re not funny, you’ll never be good enough, nobody will ever want to understand you, your not a good daddy, your average,. It hurts seeing those things typed out but its true. I try to be real but it still hurts. If I always thought things then my life would never change. So I;m really working everyday to compliment me, tell me Im good and see if the Placebo Effect work. It’s amazing how much more positive I am when I feel good about me. Here is what you have to do: You have to do it everyday and when the crap thoughts creep on you say a prayer to God and do the following:Change your mind, Don’t label yourself, Stop blaming others (you are in charge of you and everything you do and say), Guard your heart, and put on the Armour of God because when the devil has you a, your screwed if you don’t turn to God.

This will be the hardest thing you do but I promise you it works! You are worth it so do it. Love ya