My First Year After I Lost My Job

In our My First Year series, five women (and one man!) tell their roller-coaster stories after a major life change.

Natasha Nyanin, 31, worked as a health scientist in Atlanta—until July 9, 2015, when she got a call: “Your contract is terminated.”

Colby Blount

The lady on the other end of the phone said, “Don’t come in tomorrow.” I asked her to repeat herself I was so shocked. Later I cried, out of fear, frustration, worry, abandonment. I had worked there for seven years and was surprised at how dispensable I was, even if I had suspected I might be dismissed—people had been let go over the years.

At the beginning I had days when I felt deep down that everything would work out; then I had moments when my soul felt as though it had been injected with lead, and I could not get out of bed. My visa was running out—I’m from Ghana—and I had an apartment I could no longer afford.

I checked LinkedIn constantly and contacted friends to circulate my résumé, but I had to postpone my job search while my green card was being processed. I picked up odd jobs, like being an extra on a TV set and dog sitting.

For my thirtieth birthday my friends threw me a black-tie party. It was a glorious evening. I was surrounded by people who loved and believed in me, celebrating in the midst of a shit storm! That night I felt pure exhilaration and gratitude.

Their support helped me take a gamble on a whim: I moved to New York City. The first month was hard—I was sleeping on a friend’s air mattress. For two months after that, I subleased a room in Brooklyn while I searched endlessly for a job. And somehow, despite all the rejections, I felt my creative impulses spark. I started to write: a blog, poems, essays. With no luck finding a full-time job, I became convinced that I needed to make a freelance career work. To build the world I want for myself rather than bang on perpetually closed doors.

I never imagined I could survive without a regular job. Now, a little more than a year later, I have more conviction than ever that losing my job was one of the better things to happen in my life. It has put me on a creative path I might never have had the courage to fully jump into. And I don’t say this from a place of success—I’m still couch surfing! But I have learned so much: how to become my own PR, how to pitch new projects. I’m in preproduction for a podcast and a travel show.

It can be unsettling to no longer have a steady paycheck, but I am a more compassionate person having suffered this upheaval, and that means I can be a better friend, a better daughter, and a better person. I am more fearless.