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17 July 2014

Day 25/30, Day 5/6

At this point of our Whole 30 diet, or at least this morning, I feel that our diet change is now part of every day life. It isn't as big of a struggle to me to come up with meals, and I've gone away from a strict meal plan so I didn't have to spend all day thinking about what I'd make for dinner. Maybe I need to get back to that somewhat, have a little more of a plan, but I'm adapting to thinking of meals without grains, sugars, dairy and legumes, mostly without missing any of it.

Being real and honest, my biggest struggle is in the evening. I have completely eliminated snacking during the day, which has always been part of my day: I'd just graze all day and seemed to be a bottomless pit. Now, I eat my three meals and feel content and am just getting hungry by the time for the next meal. The evenings, however, are my weak spot. By the time the girls are in bed, dishes are done, kitchen is cleaned and meals are prepped for the next day, I don't care. I don't care about a diet, I don't care that I'm not hungry, I don't care what size or how tight my pants are, I don't care if I don't have a flat stomach. I'm done with the day and want to sit on the couch, veg out for awhile and have something to munch on. Yes, this is absolutely a mental game, and I've asked Jesse to help me be accountable and not let me snack. A huge request and he will have his work cut out for him. Hopefully I have a positive follow up to report back with soon.

Jesse is doing great. We are both noticing he is losing inches, though the past week he has said he didn't feel he was losing the weight the same. After a quick assessment, we realized we have been experimenting in frying food more, and need to go back to the simple baked, roasted and raw variety of meals as our norm. We will see if that helps. Part of this challenge is to not weigh yourself for the 30 days, so I don't actually know if either of us actually have lost any amount of weight.

We are both still exciting about keeping our diet change around long term. This hasn't been a "30 days and done, back to our old eating habits" for us: we have been viewing it as a strict 30 days and then continuing on, with a handful of changes. For example, Jesse wants cheese. We both really want a pizza at this point, and while that won't be in my regular meal rotation, I do want one. Today. Additionally, since we have bees and all, we decided honey would be ok as a sweetener occasionally and as needed/wanted. That will probably be it for our regular diet, but I don't think I will have trouble occasionally making something like rice, a baked potato or something, and eating out. We've been hermiting ourselves this month so we could focus on eating healthy, and I don't miss eating out, but I'd like to some day again I'm sure!

Yesterday was big for me: the girls and I went grocery shopping. Not that this task is really a huge accomplishment for me now, but the fact that the store is next to a Burger King normally would lead to the girls and I getting lunch there after a shopping trip. By that point, typically, I'd be fried from keeping little ones in line while shopping. If you've ever shopped alone with 3 kids, 3 and under, you know what I'm talking about. I admitted yesterday that I'm jealous of my friends who have an older child or two who is helpful, either to help wrangle other kids or at least carry a bag of groceries inside. I wouldn't trade what we have for anything, but 7 trips up and down 12 steps carrying little girls and groceries, followed by putting all the groceries away with girls underfoot, made me wish I occasionally had a mother's day out program I've heard so much about! So you mom friends that have that option, family nearby or an older child, I'm admitting I occasionally am jealous of you! There, I said it. I even admit it some days.

But that's all off topic. Burger King.

So I normally stop for food before heading home, and then I can just put the girls down to nap while I unload and unpack groceries. The restaurant is convenient, smells good and I'm hungry, so it works. I give in to my craving. Yesterday, we took an hour longer than normal, so I was extra done. I smelled the BK and didn't even care. I didn't want it. I didn't realize it until this morning, but I didn't have any urge whatsoever to go get a burger or pop. This is huge for me, I'm not sure I'm explaining it right so you grasp it. If I'm in town, I (used to) look for any reason to stop and grab a pop from somewhere. We don't keep it on hand at the house ever, so it was my "treat" or pick me up. I didn't even care.

That isn't to say I don't have cravings or desires for food we used to eat, because we do. Jesse bought the girls soft pretzels the other day and I barely could restrain myself from stealing some. But overall, I'm so pleased with where we are from an eating standpoint. Another struggle is just in the area of lunches, but we have survived so far. Jesse typically takes leftovers, but some leftovers are more bountiful and filling for him than others. I typically just scrounge up this, that and the other, and while I'm staying true to the diet, I need a better plan. Maybe I just need to double our dinners so we have enough for both of us to have leftovers? We both focus on our protein and then filling the rest of vegetables, but some days it's better than others.

All that aside, we're doing well. Kaylee has been a bit of a handful, and I'm not sure if it's a growth spurt, teething, or something I'm doing. I have been feeding her a bit of rice cereal with previously pumped milk, so with that alone, it could be a) bad milk from whatever I'd eaten that day or b) the rice isn't sitting well with her. Additionally, the past few days I have been trying to reintroduce a bottle to her. Not that she needs it necessarily, but I'd like a break some day in the future. She needs to be able to take a bottle if I have any hope of ever going anywhere alone. So she may just be extra fussy because she hates it. If it wasn't so heartbreaking, it'd be kind of funny to see her so upset, throwing her little self everywhere and flailing her fists in the air. Otherwise, my not-so-little baby is doing great. She's into the fun stages finally where she isn't just a little lump of cute, but starting to interact, recognize people, grin, grab for my face, squeal at her sisters and play and entertain herself on the floor. She is also fairly confident on her hands and knees, in my opinion, so I'm in trouble there. The other two were power army crawlers before they got up on their hands and knees, so having this already is new to me. Lily and Emma will just love it when she's more mobile and can chase them, and as it is now, they love that she can roll her way around the room and scoot backwards. Emma asks all the time if she can "hold it," and Lily feels she's a big enough girl to carry Kaylee around. What do you mommas with petite babies do? I'd be a mess. I'm thankful for my sturdy chunkers.

Emma is doing pretty well. She's a fireball, but can be so much fun. A friend was commenting today how "little girl" she is looking now, which is true, but makes my heart a little sad. When did my baby Emma become a big girl? Poor Lily, Emma can push her buttons already. But, to be fair, Lily can sure drive Emma up the wall also. We have many talks throughout the day about being nice to each other. When I was grocery shopping yesterday, I had both girls in the cart and they just would not leave each other alone, so I made them both sit with their hands folded on their laps. I had to remind them a few times, but it worked. That will work for now until someone figures out that elbows are sharp...

Lily is great. She loves doing the homemade handwriting practice sheets I did, and asks to do them all the time. How can I turn that down? She's getting the hang of it, and she likes it when I sit down and show her the correct way to make each letter. We haven't been all the way through the alphabet yet, but there are a few letters that she can recreate, besides her name, from memory and I'm so proud.

That's about it for now! Sorry for the poor quality of pictures, I've been working on this post for a few days and just wanted to finish it and I haven't had a chance to upload new pictures from my camera to my computer.

oh the places you'll go.

"Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout..Do your worst, for I will do mine! Then the fates will know you as we know you.."--Count of Monte Cristo