Monday, November 2, 2009

everything I've always wanted- just what the doctor ordered!

So the doctor said go and do everything you have always wanted. I know, I know its a bit grim it means he doesnt think I should wait as my time is running out but hey its one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. Usually its no we cant afford it, or you must do this or that and usually this or that is miles away from what I have always wanted to do.

But what do I want to do? I joke that perhaps George Clooney isnt ready for an OAP weighing more than him, with a battered groin and one fat leg but really I am not ready for George and never will be. I think hard and confirm those things I have never wanted to do: bungee jumping, spider stroking, a marathon.

I must be unimaginative as it seems that when the chips are down I only want to do those things I have already done and know I enjoyed and if you really push me hard all I really want to do is be alive and be with my kids, my friends and of course Stewart and it can be as boring as you like. But none of that I must follow doctor's instructions and so in the last six weeks since that day in the doctor's office I have, with Stewart:

Hugged my son, Joe,and his dog and eaten the best apple cake in the world in Utrecht

Travelled on the Eurostar to Lille and dined with Number one son, Sam and his lovely wife Julie, hugged them too

Done Grand Tour of Italy to all the places we love. I have danced alone in front of crowds in St Marks Square as the bands played and felt alive. I have beamed beatifically at the Grand Canal, been stunned by the Guggenheim, sat in awe in front of the Ravenna mosaics, screwed my neck to see the Piera Della Francesca's in Arrezo, the towers in St Gimignagno and the floors in the Duomo in Siena. And my God the food! we have eaten in all of our favourite restaurants and in lots of new finds and been in seventh heaven. We even overcame the battered groin and enjoyed romantic moments on sunny afternoons. We hugged each other a lot.

Then to France to our lovely little house in the Dordogne; bombarded by the two grandsons, Harry aged 4 and Danny who celebrated his first birthday with us; Jess and Tom and four lovely friends. I lived the dream of sun drenched lunches au terrasse everyone piled around our garden table indulging in fantastic French food and wine and in October too!

So I have done what I was told and I have enjoyed every minute; it has been a real bonus and on top of it all everyone is being really nice to me;I think I can truly say I have never been happier.. funny old world eh

About Me

I am 62, retired from running my own events business. I have been married to Stewart for 43 years and have four fantastic children, Sam, Joe, Luke and Jess, four grandchildren, Harry and Danny and new twins, Max and Charlie; I also have two step-grandchildren, Hannah and Chelsea.
On 11 September 2009 I was told that the very rare leiomyosarcoma that was found in one of my veins in summer 2008, and removed, had metastasised and I now have sarcomas in my lungs. By April 2010 it had got to my liver and back to my leg. In January sarcoma nodules were found on the horse's tail, the bunch of nerves that come out of the base of my spine. Despite radiotherapy, the paralysis spread very quickly and I have no feeling at all from my hips down.
I will try to log what all this feels like in this blog and keep in touch with friends, family and fellow travellers along the way.