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The purpose of life is to always continue growing. And more often than not we can benefit from a new perspective, a different way of understanding things, a piece of wisdom that somehow unravels a deep understanding within. That's what this blog is all about.

Who hasn't met a kid with autism, ADHD, Asperger's, Dislexia.. everyone right? Well, what happens when you realize your kid may be one too?

Let me start with something that happened 10 years before I had kids. I worked as a nanny with two families who had autistic children and I knew deep in my bones, that this was a lesson for me to get ready for my own children. Wasn't sure how it would play out, but I knew it would happen.

And then I had my first boy. And for the next 6 years we couldn't understand what we were missing, why every single thing seemed so difficult. Why couldn't he talk instead of hitting? why did he wake up everyday at 4am for years until our brains were pretty much dead from lack of sleep.?

From the hours he spent rocking his crib back and forth until it was destroyed, to the 4 years it took him to start talking, to the meltdowns that were triggered by seemingly invisible things. .. invisible to me , not to him.... nothing made sense.

It seemed like only when he was climbing trees, doorframes, furniture or people, doing flips, riding his bike as fast as he could, swimming, running so fast I couldn't catch him, jumping from the bookshelves to the couch, doing flips from the widow sill to his trampoline, swinging so high he could almost touch the trees and then from the top jump to the ground and land on a forward roll... only when his body was in motion; strong, intense motion, did he seem to be serene.

I had resigned myself to the fact that we couldn't attend most events, parties, because the excessive stimulation resulted in days of emotional meltdowns, difficulty sleeping, frustration, etc . So we've had to keep a tight rhythm and routine for the past 6 years.

And one week ago his kindergarten teacher called and said. "Ana, I think he could use some Occupational Therapy to work on sensory integration issues" and my world opened up.

Why? because I had never heard of that. So I did what I always do. I read everything I could find, blogs, books, websites and found what sensory integration or processing problems are. We had to go to his Dr., do evaluations etc.

And it truly changed the way I see my boy. I recognized each and every one of the "crazy" behaviors that have driven us nuts for the past 6 years and finally understood him, not because of a label or diagnosis because that is meaningless as far as i'm concerned, but because I started to see what things mean to him.

I understood why he despises jeans or any fabric that isn't soft on his skin, why he wouldn't let me touch him for the longest time.

I understood that the way he is processing the world is completely different from mine.

It has nothing to do with what's happening in the world though.

And the solution isn't to medicate him, or even to change him and his environment. We first must understand his internal world. What does it feel like, to be in his shoes. Why is being up high so calming to him.

And this applies to all of us. We understand, experience and respond to the world in a unique way.

Do you understand yourself, your triggers, your fears, what moves you and what stops you?

But then, you have to go one step further.. it's not about the triggers or the stimulus, it's about what they MEAN TO YOU.

So, first Identify what sets you off, and recognize why? once you realize it's simply the meanings you've attached to it, based on your beliefs, you're experiences, expectations, habits, physiology, your emotional preferences, you will see that YOU HAVE THE POWER to change its meaning.

You give the stimulus (or person, experience, whatever it may be) a different meaning, create new responses, new habits, by learning new skills and you have a new reality, a completely different experience.

As I was driving yesterday I thought, my boy has spent a LOT of time frustrated and angry in the last few years, so he has built a super-highway to unhappiness in his brain.

But little by little, moment by moment, decision by decision we can go from a dirt road to a paved street to a highway that will take him to joy everyday of his life... no matter what's happening around him.

We must consciously create our inner world. Only then, will the outer world reflect our deepest dreams.

I hope this inspired you to look at how you and those around you experience the world, and understand that we can ALWAYS choose what something means.

The struggle, the fight to control our thoughts, the uncomfortable sensations in our legs, the battle inside that tells us we should be doing something else, this is dumb, we can't do it. The same happens in life.

The patterns in our thoughts are repetitive, they don't change, they are like a drill in your brain that disconnects you from reality, from inner peace. They keep telling you the same things over and over. Everybody has their own personal repertoire.

But the thing is, those thoughts, as annoying as they are, are completely powerless. Those nasty, self-sabotaging words we tell ourselves don't even exist, they last a millisecond and disappear.

So how do they cause so much havoc in our life?

Because instead of letting them pass like a leaf in the wind, we get fixated, we start analyzing them, hating them, questioning them and ultimately believing them.

By trying so hard to get rid of them, we give them power.

Whatever you allow to stay in your world (inner and outer) long enough, will eventually become so familiar, that you'll accept it, embrace it, and then you won't remember who you are without it.

Think about it. Think of a friend, a habit, a belief, that you hated at the beginning, couldn't stand them. Then slowly you start thinking, well... maybe it isn't so bad. Look! I kind of like it after all!

Our brains are made to adapt in order to survive, your mind will find ways to rationalize why that is ok, how that fits into your identity. and so you adopt it.

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​AnaPaula Penalva

​I am a lover of adventure, travel, people and nature . Studied psychology and then got a Master in acupuncture and Oriental medicine. My greatest calling has always been helping and healing. I've worked with people in prison, newborns, teenagers, the elderly, you name it. ​I've also lived in 3 countries, married an amazing man and have 2 kids that keep me on my toes. I believe in always finding the best in people and helping them find that in themselves.