Wednesday, December 05, 2007

I bet you know this feeling: sometimes your little head fulla beans just gets a stubborn question stuck in it and you can't get it out. You know, one of the important questions of life and philosophy that have puzzled man- and bullkind down the centuries. Where did Cain get his wife? Who built the pyramids? Who shot J.R.? And of course, the most brain-warping question of them all, one that has had me scratching my head until my hoof was sore: What is Magneto's favorite movie?

You know, you might think that's a pretty easy question to answer right off the bat. "Schindler's List," you might suggest, or "I bet Magneto's favorite flick is The Sorrow and the Pity." Possibly it might occur to you that ol' Buckethead pops in his DVD of Shoah when nobody else is around and has himself a good old cry. Then again, you simply can't deny the appeal of Saturday Night Fever to Mister Lensherr.

Well, we here at BullyLabs, after extensive research and investigation, can finally answer the question that has stymied the great minds of our time. "What is Magneto's favorite movie?" you ask? And I answer, with solid authority, "Why, a certain 1939 musical classic starring Miss Judy Garland, a film that has become a family favorite for almost seventy years, of course!"

Need some proof?

Need some proof that doesn't consist of hastily cobbled-together Photoshop panels? Well, note how a certain iconic scene in that movie...

...is adopted and homaged by slavish fanboy Magneto during his very first terrorist activity upon homo sapiens?:

Come to think of it, wouldn't an X-Men/Oz crossover adventure be the bee's knees? Magneto could ally himself with the Nome King (whom he would ruthlessly betray and threaten with magnetically-levitated eggs), safely crossing the Deadly Desert on magnetic fields to invade Oz. If he invades from the west, he'd certainly have no trouble cutting through Oz's first line of defense, Nick Chopper the Tin Woodsman:

...or mechanical man Tik-Tok:

Why, with those mutant magnetic powers, Magneto would crush Dorothy's Magic Belt and bend the Love Magnet into a pretzel! All would be at its darkest for Ozma and company until the X-Men arrive (the original line-up of five plus Professor X, please) to team up with our favorite Ozians to defeat Magneto in a cunning plan co-conceived by the two Professors: Charles Xavier and H. M. Wogglebug, T.E.

I'd thought of this before in a similar dynamic. That is I think The Wizard of Oz would also be Satan's favorite movie. However, I think he and Magneto wouldn't read it as a story about love of family above all, but of someone who tasted paradise, but was ultimately denied - trading the wonder of Oz/Heaven/Mutant Utopia for the bleak, gray world of Kansas.