Friday, December 7, 2007

Dog Duty

I have two dogs. I've had Jesse Garon, my terrier-black lab mix, for 12 years, and Stu (a/k/a "Stoodles"), a Maltese, came in a package deal with my wife three and a half years ago.

We live in an apartment complex, and since it's in Austin, we are allowed to have dogs (almost everybody has a dog in Austin). Part of the deal, beyond the damage deposit, is that we are required to pick up after the dogs. They have even provided designated "doggie comfort stations" with plastic bags for disposal of the droppings.

I'm cool with that, having lived in a condo for most of the past seven years. I've picked up thousands of piles of dogshit in that time, so I'm used to it.

Some of my neighbors, however, are clearly not down with the program. These dog owners obviously consider themselves above picking up after their animals. Forensic evidence suggests the worst offenders are the owners of a medium-sized dog and a miniature breed. Their distaste for stool retrieval and disposal has made the area surrounding the doggie comfort station into a virtual minefield. These morons have actually had their animals drop a load within five feet of the receptacle, and neglected to pick it up. If I ever foul my Vans because I have misstepped into their dogs' waste material, I will hunt them down and piss on their shoes.