We've spent most of the last 20 years in Europe, the bulk of our time in Stockholm, Sweden. A year in London, England and a year in Paris, France have been ours to enjoy as well. Our US home is in Desert Hot Springs, CA where we have landed for the time being.

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Thursday, September 27, 2012

Undocumented

What an ordeal the past 48 hours have
been. I never ever thought that I would be the one who would face having to cope with a missing passport hours before I was scheduled for an
international flight and yet, Tuesday night at 8.00 p.m. we realized
that my passport was not where it should be. After tearing up the
house numerous times, including even looking in the freezer and
refrigerator(!), by about 1.00 a.m. I was coming to the sad reality
that I would not be leaving for the US at 10.15 a.m. A variety of
issues coursed through my mind but the loudest of them all was the
voice screaming at me, “What have you done with your passport?!”
I had no recollection of the last time I had handled it and thus
could not figure out why it was not safely snuggled in its special
little place in Doug's dresser. Then there was the matter of the
flight that was departing in a few hours. I knew it was key to deal
with this before the flight took off and yet I also knew that we had
not purchased travel insurance, had not bought a refundable ticket,
had not done any of the things that perhaps might be a wise idea but
cost money and you think, why blow that cash? I'll never have a
problem. Because I had booked with Travelocity, I had to work with
them to figure this thing out. Fortunately they have a 24 hour
support line but unfortunately Travelocity customer service is
ranked #522 out of the 561 companies that have a
CustomerServiceScoreboard.com rating with an overall score
of 20.96 out of a possible 200 based
upon 321 ratings. This score rates Travelocity customer
service and customer support as Terrible. I have to concur with
these thoughts as we received information that ranged from “If you
do not get on that plane, you will lose your entire ticket. There is
nothing we can do” to finally “You will get full credit for the
ticket but when you rebook you will have pay a change and rebooking
fee and of course, any change in the fare.” Fine. The latter
suited me as I was really hoping that this ticket we had purchased
wasn't going to be money down the drain.
After a night of very limited and not
restful sleep, I rose in the morning to begin dealing with the
passport issue. I have to say, when I crawled into bed that night, I
felt a little weird. I said to Doug, “There's no way for me to
leave Sweden right now. I have no papers.” When you live abroad,
the ability to get to your loved ones in another country is a high
value. At that time, I had no idea how long it would take the U.S.
Embassy to process my papers so I felt a bit weird. It gave me
enormous empathy for people who live in that in between place for
their whole lives. Hardly a week goes by when we are not praying for
someone who is seeking “permission to stay.” They have come as a
refugee with no chance of returning to their homeland and yet, they
have not been granted permanent stay in their new country. This is a
very stressful place to be. I felt a tiny amount of that stress in
the few hours I lived without a passport but I lived with it knowing
that in due time I would be issued a new US passport, I had money to
pay for the documents, late fees, phone calls, etc. and in the
meantime had a job, a home, and stability. And I had legal status,
just no proof of such. And yet it was still hugely stressful for me.
I have gained an enormous amount of empathy for the people in our
world who are living in between, for whom permanent stay or
permission to stay is a hoped for yet often elusive goal.

I woke up Wednesday morning with one
simple quest: Secure a new passport. I had found out from the U.S.
Embassy that I needed a police report and new passport photos in
order to request a new passport so my first stop was the police
station. The police woman was incredibly kind and helpful and I
could get photos taken in an automated photo booth at my subway stop.
From there I went out to the U.S. Embassy, which is just a short
drive from our house, and waited in the citizens of the US line. I
was the only one in my line while the line for foreigners was
substantially longer. Again, I was so grateful that I lived in a
country where a good embassy exists and that I had access to it as an
American living abroad. In the 14 years that I have lived here in
Sweden, I have never needed the embassy for anything official! I was
never so thankful for this place than I was on Wednesday morning.
They processed me through and soon I was filling out the paper work
for a new passport that they could issue the following morning. Wow.
I couldn't believe it. That meant I could try to rebook my ticket
as soon as Friday. Once I left the embassy knowing that 24 hours
later I would have a new passport, I broke down into tears. I was so
stressed out wondering what was going to happen and after securing
the new passport, I just felt so much relief. It was far more
important to me than I may have even realized, but I was also so
grateful that it could be processed as quickly as it was. I drove to
a friend's house who had pulled together a beautiful coffee time and
it was refreshing to be received by her love and hospitality.

The next ordeal I had to face involved
getting the flight rebooked which was harder than I realized. United
wasn't easy to work with as the prices they were quoting me were
double what the website was showing. Finally we made a decision to
hang onto the credit and look for a brand new ticket that would
better suit out needs. We eventually found a great flight, good
routing, and a good price so we bought it but trying to make a new
good decision about when to travel, what route, what price, etc. was
super overwhelming for me. This whole process was so stressful for
me. I'm not sure why I felt so panicky and overwhelmed. Nothing was
life or death for me. In fact, in the midst of all the craziness I
was feeling, I thought of a young family who have been through a
terrible ordeal with their 8 year daughter whilst living in Sierra
Leone. She contracted typhoid fever and was rapidly deteriorating.
They had to figure out how to get her to a hospital in Ghana to
stabilize her enough to finally get her to London for the desperate
medical attention she needed. Now that is a stressful situation to
be dealing with under duress! The kid is doing well at this point but
I cannot imagine how those parents endured the stress they were under
while trying to make really difficult travel arrangements while
watching their daughter hover between life and death. And so now
that my situation has been resolved and I have new travel plans that
suit me well even though I had to cancel my stop in Chicago, as I
look back on the past two days, I'm pondering why this whole
situation was so stressful. Of course, any time we have plans in
place and look forward to them, when they don't unfold as we had
hoped it's tough. I guess for me I felt such a myriad of emotions,
sadness and stupidity being at the top of the list. Mentally it was
hard adjusting to thinking I was heading for a vacation in the sun
and suddenly faced with staying put at work in a climate that is
quickly losing daylight. And I really wanted to spend some time with
my parents as both of them have significant health issues to deal
with and I want to make every minute we have together count. In the
midst of the craziness of not being able to find my passport, I lost
my mind a bit. I allowed anxiety to grow large and grew uncertain
about my ability to make good choices. Fortunately I was surrounded
by a loving and patient husband and the care and empathy of good
friends. I had to keep reminding myself that this was not a life or
death situation, that I had choices, that money is only money and
that our lives were not going to be in tatters if we didn't get this
worked out and that even if I couldn't travel right now, I would be
able to again in the near future. Even so, the stress that losing my
passport and missing a flight has caused me has given rise to a
variety of thoughts and feelings, but the most predominant is surely
thankfulness. I am so grateful for the privileges I enjoy. And my
empathy for those for whom life is not so easy has grown one
hundredfold in the past 48 hours. Having resources, having
community, having opportunities, having connections...it all makes a
huge difference in the way in which we enjoy life. And when
something trips up those of us with all of the above, it's stressful
because it's a disruption but not because our very lives depends on
it working out in a certain way. For others however who live in
nations at war, corrupt government systems, countries without
opportunities, undocumented refers to a way of life that must carry
more stress with it than I ever realized.

Happily reunited with my new passport

Today I am in possession of my
emergency issued passport and have a new ticket to fly to the land of
my citizenship on Monday. My stress level is decidedly lower. But I
am carrying in my heart, in a special way, those who live without
proper papers in our world, knowing that the circumstances that
landed them there are far more egregious than simply misplacing an
important document and the hope for resolution of such much more
complex than what I have been through over the past 48 hours. Say a
special prayer today for all the undocumented human beings trying to
find their way in a hostile world. Believe me, it is more stressful
than you can imagine.