Wednesday, April 21, 2004

well, i'm back in israel after a wonderful trip home. always good to see the loved ones. it was interesting to see everything after being here for 9 months. i mean, it's only nine months, but it seems to have had a bigger impact on me than i thought it had. First off i didnt realize how much adjusting i had done while i was here, and i also didnt realize how much it had changed me. In good ways i think. I find myself more open, more ready to say what's on my mind and what im feeling. that's probably an effect from being here, since it's a very open and informal society (for good and bad). I could see for the first time exactly how closed people tend to be back home. like they're sheltering themselves. over little things too. probably mostly over little things. just being willing to open your mouth and discuss topics that you dont normally discuss but just happen to be on your mind. just saying what you want to say. i'm not saying lose that little connection from brain to mouth that tells you when to shut up, but it seems as though people are actually scared on some level to say what they're thinking.

yeah, come to think of it, there seemed to be a bit of that going around. i dont know why. maybe once i could accept it, but now it's just too incomprehensible that people wont just say what's on their mind to the person sitting next to them, when they clearly have something they want to say. even if they dont know exactly what they want to say, they should just say something. anything. whatever.

i've come across some neat blogs. one comes out of saudi arabia (tip goes to Z of course). A saudi blogger, it's an amazing and wonderful world sometimes.

anyway, it's good to be back. i slept for 13 hours last night, and didnt bother sleeping tonight. stupid fucking jetlag. i can't piece myself together. but i'd better just crash tomorrow night and be done with it. i've got a supply of melatonin just in case.