It really isn't helping that I am vaguely high when my 12 step sponsor drops the bomb she feels she cannot sponsor me anymore. Just as she tells me this, I can't help but see a text that comes onto her phone, her ride is going to be around 30 minutes late. Well, this is awkward. (Life Hack: When breaking up with anyone, bring your own car.)

For many years now the muscles in my back, neck, and left arm have been permanently spastic. What that means is my brain, without medication, no longer tells these muscles to relax. It's quite painful and is debilitating.

For many years now the muscles in my back, neck, and left arm have been permanently spastic. What that means is my brain, without medication, no longer tells these muscles to relax. It's quite painful and is debilitating.

I proceed directly to become a human smoke machine, hacking up vapor smoke around my apartment for at least the next five minutes. Before I'm even done hacking, I can tell by the way my ears start to ring that this is going to be an ordeal.

Vegetarian marathon runners aren't supposed to lose their health. I was supposed to live and move and thrive in my thirties and the decades to come. I felt I was making all of the "right" choices. I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, I exercised regularly running miles nearly everyday. I had no idea that a disaster was on the horizon and it would change everything. It would take away my plans and change my dreams.