Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:51 amPosts: 8120Location: United States of New England

when do people typically have their baby shower?a month before the birth? 2 months?i feel like it's usually a month but i feel like for some reason i would rather do it 2 months before. i dont want to be huge and uncomfortable at it. i already know just the concept of having one is going to annoy me so the more physically comfortable i can be the better!

plus i need to start planning i know at the very least my MIL will be traveling from 6 hours away. i might have relatives who are flying up. not sure.

We had one on the Sunday before my due date, which was a Wednesday. Even with him coming a day early, it wasn't so bad, but I probably wouldn't recommend it. My friends had a little surprise shower 2 months before the due date which I do recommend.

I think two months is good. One month would be okay too. I don't recommend doing it any closer to your due date than that though. My first baby was due 16 June, and he arrived 29 May. A little over two weeks early, and I was really uncomfortable by then. I think my shower was about a month and a half before the due date, but I don't remember. My husband planned it for me (was a surprise, as I wasn't planning on doing one).

_________________when you realise how perfect everything is, you will tilt you head back and laugh at the sky. -buddha

If the concept of a shower is annoying, why not have a baby welcoming party instead? Like a month or two after the due date? It would give you an excuse to pull yourself together afterward. I haven't been to many baby showers, but one that was scheduled a month ahead had to be cancelled because the mom was in the hospital giving birth!

I will always feel guilty for choosing to go to a concert on one of the weekends we were considering, and scheduling my aunt's shower for the following weekend. She ended up at the hospital giving birth to my cousin on the day of her shower. I guess we were cutting it kind of close anyway. But first babies are supposed to be late! Unfortunately I don't remember how close to the due date we scheduled the shower, so I'm not much help.

I would do it earlier. My friends did mine a month before and I couldn't really enjoy it as much, bc I had such strong Braxton Hicks during it, that I was lying on the couch trying not to be in pain.

Can I admit not how hilarious that was. I also felt very bad for you. :)

I think 2 months before the due date is the earliest it should be.

It sucked so much to not be able to be fully present, because everyone had made it SO nice! Everything about it was perfect - the nicest people, awesome vegan food, cute decorations. Seriously, my heart feels so warm and fuzzy when I think about how great it was to be surrounded by such kindness.

I feel so blessed to have you and the other Jennifers and the other vegans obvs in my life.

That said, trying to open boxes while all you can think is "Holy shiitake is this it?" And trying to get into a position where your contractions don't hurt while trying to make conversation about walnut pesto is really hard. Also, that walnut pesto was freaking amazing.

For me a baby welcoming party would have been added pressure that I didn't need. When L was born, we went into a cocoon and I was so happy to just be able to focus on her. The one day that my awesome vegan mama-friends came over was about all the social stuff I could handle. I felt so overwhelmed.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

My parents had one for me when I was only about 25 weeks because that was when I had a school break and was able to travel to California. The baby still felt like a really faraway concept at that point, so it was a little strange to be getting baby gifts already. My friends had one for me about a month before my due date, and I felt like I was able to enjoy thinking about the reality of the baby and the birth by then. I was so busy with school while I was pregnant that I hardly took any pictures, so I really like having pictures from that baby shower with my friends and my huge belly. Like others have mentioned here before, definitely don't assume that your first baby will be born after your due date! Of course preterm birth happens, but there's no reason to assume it will, so a month before your due date is likely to be safe.

I had mine 2 months before I had Grey and then a second one a month before having him. The first one was better, I wasn't enormous, but I was showing and it felt good. I still had a lot of energy and wasn't uncomfortable. The second one I felt really huge and uncomfortable and it was SO nice, but all I wanted was to be lying in bed at home.

A baby welcoming party could be nice too, by then you will know better what you need/want, just make sure it isn't at your house, cause it will be a mess.

Mine was about 6 weeks before my due date. I was big, but not uncomfortable. I moved house two weeks later so we had to do it before that, but it felt like good timing anyway.

My cousin and his wife are expecting their first, and her family is apparently REEEEEAAALLY excited because I saw some pictures on facebook of a shower they threw for her a couple of weeks ago. She was 12 weeks along. I don't recommend that?

Hah, I suppose it's all very personal! I didn't even announce my pregnancy to most people until after my 20w u/s and am still really annoyed that my MIL, whom we told at 10w while we were back in the Midwest, immediately told her sister when we asked our immediate families not to tell anyone. (Guess who's going to be kept in the dark a while for #2?)

I think I would find anything before about 24w a little surprising and anything after 34w or so cutting it close. But I tend to try to plan for All The Contingencies.

i already know just the concept of having one is going to annoy me so the more physically comfortable i can be the better!

Ariann wrote:

If the concept of a shower is annoying, why not have a baby welcoming party instead?

Also, just want to say you shouldn't feel like you have to have a shower or party of any kind if it's not your thing/you just don't want to. We didn't, and I was really really really pleased my parents didn't organise anything as a 'surprise' for me because I would have been totally embarrassed and overwhelmed.Of course, we don't actually have any friends with children and most of my friends live out of the country, so I don't know who there would have been to invite anyway...

Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:51 amPosts: 8120Location: United States of New England

poopiebitch wrote:

My cousin and his wife are expecting their first, and her family is apparently REEEEEAAALLY excited because I saw some pictures on facebook of a shower they threw for her a couple of weeks ago. She was 12 weeks along. I don't recommend that?

holy crepe! i dont think many people even knew i was pregnant at 12 weeks????? i literally just told people at work like 2-3 weeks ago.i hit 22 weeks today and we still havent made a registery or even have a clue what we need. they must be on top of things!!

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oncewerewesties wrote:

LisaPunk wrote:

i already know just the concept of having one is going to annoy me so the more physically comfortable i can be the better!

Ariann wrote:

If the concept of a shower is annoying, why not have a baby welcoming party instead?

Also, just want to say you shouldn't feel like you have to have a shower or party of any kind if it's not your thing/you just don't want to.

i dont really have much of a choice. i was told i was having a shower :-Pto be honest i dont know how else we will get all the "stuff" we need anyways other than buying it ourselves so im going to sit through the horror of a baby shower for presents :-P that kinda sounds terrible but im just being honest. i love my family and have a large extended family but a day of people touching my stomach and telling me how i feel and what's going to happen in my life (when my entire pregnancy has been completely different than everyone says) is going to drive me up a freaking wall. my mom promised me no stupid games ;-)

I actually requested one game that I thought was sweet - having everyone get a letter and write down pieces of advice that helped them with their kids. They then put it into a book and you can look at it when you want to. And of course you can then disregard anything you hate and know whose advice to avoid generally, heh!

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

I would do it earlier. My friends did mine a month before and I couldn't really enjoy it as much, bc I had such strong Braxton Hicks during it, that I was lying on the couch trying not to be in pain.

Can I admit not how hilarious that was. I also felt very bad for you. :)

I think 2 months before the due date is the earliest it should be.

It sucked so much to not be able to be fully present, because everyone had made it SO nice! Everything about it was perfect - the nicest people, awesome vegan food, cute decorations. Seriously, my heart feels so warm and fuzzy when I think about how great it was to be surrounded by such kindness.

I feel so blessed to have you and the other Jennifers and the other vegans obvs in my life.

That said, trying to open boxes while all you can think is "Holy shiitake is this it?" And trying to get into a position where your contractions don't hurt while trying to make conversation about walnut pesto is really hard. Also, that walnut pesto was freaking amazing.

after the shower michael was like, "how is tofulish?" and i was like, "i think she was having the baby at the shower..."

_________________I'm one of those vegans that cuts corners when it comes to things like breastfeeding and stabbing you in the face~PranjalThat story would be adorable if it didn't end with herpes. ~Mo

I actually requested one game that I thought was sweet - having everyone get a letter and write down pieces of advice that helped them with their kids. They then put it into a book and you can look at it when you want to. And of course you can then disregard anything you hate and know whose advice to avoid generally, heh!

I co-organized a friend's shower, and I am pretty anti-game (guests mostly knew each other and had fun hanging out/catching up), but I toyed with doing this one because I thought it would be hilarious to compile a book of "parenting advice from your childfree friends." Six months before me, she was the first of any of us to be having a kid, and I have a few friends who would've made it over the top hilarious. Alas, I never did this. Instead we did the onesie painting and she actually seemed to love it because we got some really, really funny ones.

We did the advice on a notecard thing, that was nice. St the second baby shower we did onesie painting. Turns out I have some artistic friends. My boss at the time and good friend decided he wanted to come purely for the onesie painting, and probably the liquor. It was really fun! My first shower was in Michigan with family and family friends, the second one was in SF. It was a tea psrty and we all had to wear hats. It was pretty hilarious.

Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:51 amPosts: 8120Location: United States of New England

that actually sounds cute, the idea of advice on cards. then you can shred the bad ones.it would be HYSTERICAL from a bunch of people with no kids sadly i think everyone that wold be invited to my shower has kids except just a couple.

i also like the tea party and hats idea for a friends only shower. if i had to sit through that with family it would turn cornball way too fast