Every couple of months I get around to clearing out my inbox and so came across this…er…generous death threat I received…let’s see…7 WEEKS AGO! Geesh. Where are my priorities? Wasn’t very prompt in my (still pending) reply.

I’m a professional; hence you have no need of knowing who I am, where I am from, until I arrange for a one on one meeting. I have been mandated to terminate your life for some reasons listed to me by the contractor – someone I believe you know very well and very close to you. Consequently, I have been following you closely for a month now and have seen that you are innocent of the accusation leveled against you.

In your best interest, do not contact the Police or try to send a copy of this to any security agents, because if you do, I will certainly know through the impeccable assistance of one of the secret agents who is a friend, and you will leave me with no option than to be forced to do what I have being duly paid to do, beside this is the first time Iâ€™m turning out to be a betrayer against the ethics of my profession.

Now listen, I will arrange for us to see one on one but before that I need the amount of $14,000.00, you have nothing to be afraid of. I will be coming to see you in your home or you determine where you wish we meet, do not set any camera to cover us or set up any tape to record our conversation, I seem to hold the four aces now. You will need to transfer $7, 000.00 to the account I will provide for you, before we will set our first meeting, after you have make the first advance payment to the account, I will provide you with the tape that contains his request for me to assassinate you, which will be enough proof for you to take up a legal action against him (if you wish to do so) and will tell you what to do and protect you, then the balance will be paid later.

You don’t need my phone contact for now till I am assured you are ready to comply, and being silence on this matter is very dangerous. The choice remains yours, and you have the next 72hrs to make that choice, otherwise you will live your limited life watching your back. A word is enough for the wise!

Signed,
Alex.
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Fortunately for me, the priority is only “Normal.” Yet, Alex’s message has all the earmarks of the dreaded Northern Yukon Maphia. Uh-oh.

Hmmmmmmm, the message originates from Nigeria. Dang! I can’t count the number of “very well known and close” friends I have that are in and out of Nigeria. I’m in trouble. And oops, I’ve posted Alex’s message on the World Wiiiiiiiiiiide Web for his handlers to see and now they’re after his betraying ass.

Well, Alex may be holding all the aces, but that just tells me he’s 48 cards short of a full deck. Spellchecker, Alex. Use it. But whatever.