Life, Liberty, & the National Football League

Grading The DeMarco Murray Jersey Burnings

While Eagles fans are making alterations to their LeSean McCoy jerseys to make room for their newest running back, Dallas Cowboys fans are angry because ex-Poke DeMarco Murray fled the cocoon of Jerry Jones for greener pastures and joined the Philadelphia Eagles.

As fans are known to do these days, DeMarco Murray jersey burning sessions commenced around the country soon after his signing was announced on Thursday.

The silly thing about this is that NFL jerseys typically run anywhere from $99-$300 depending on the level of the jersey’s authenticity.

So, these fans are working over expensive jerseys to prove a point.

You know who the winner of today was Cowboys fans?

DeMarco Murray.He will receive $21 million guaranteed during his five-year contract with the Eagles.

Alas, let’s review, shall we?

#1. The Rug Burn

Why in the world would someone burn a jersey ON A RUG?!?? This gentlemen’s commentary is spot on as explained above. Dude, you can’t lose touch with reality and start harming multiple things that cost money.

Poorly done.

GRADE: D-

#2. Grilling With DeMarco

This is a quality burn here. If you’re going to do it, go all in and use lighter fluid. However, he gets points taken off for using a grill. What if I want to grill a fish later that night?

But I can’t now and do you know why? I have remnants of a $100 jersey on my grill now and I have to scrub it clean with 409 because I’m a sociopath that can’t handle my players leaving to go play elsewhere.

Otherwise, this is fine.

GRADE: A-

#3. The Fireplace

When I originally saw this one I thought it was a guy burning a jersey in a restaurant grill. However, I’m going to hope against hope that it wasn’t the case.

Instead, I’m hoping this is some bizarro home fireplace. Again, quality burn. He keeps it simple and then adds lighter fluid.

GRADE: A

#4. THE SHIRSEY

You know what’s lame? Burning a jersey.

You know what’s lamer? Burning a shirsey.

You know what’s lamest? Burning a shirsey three times because you can’t quite get it right the first two.

This guy should be ashamed of himself. Awful job and tries to go tough guy with the middle finger and such.