24 May 2012

What Happens in Coverland...

Hello! I'm back!

After I met Kari Lynn Dell and Janet Reid in New York, we jetted away to a secret destination populated by romance cover models. Here they receive their extensive training, which includes such necessary courses as "Don't Wane--Wax!" and "Geometry for the Visually Inclined: Displaying Your Pectorals to Your Advantage." My favorite is "Winning By Losing: Accepting The Fact That Your Face Will Never Be On The Cover."

Janet is a super-powerful agent so the fellas fawn over her, which worked out pretty well for the rest of us. We told them Kari writes about cowboys, and suddenly all our drink servers appeared in hats and crisp jeans. I mentioned my hero is a sheriff, so several of the younger models invited me to inspect their guns. I guess they had them holstered in their rooms, because not a one of them was wearing a shirt. It is pretty warm down there in Coverland. And quiet. Because the models have been asked to internalize their characters, there wasn't a lot of chit-chat. Mostly they walked around looking steely and determined, or soulful and damaged. Occasionally, they would stop and gaze deeply into our eyes to divine whether we wanted a massage or another mai-tai. The ones that guessed wrong were usually going through their "black moment" training, which clouded their judgment. I didn't blame them. I have five guys at home who still haven't figured out that the way to their happiness is to give me what I want, and they've all known me a lot longer than two days.

All good things must come to an end though, so Kari, Janet, and I said our good-byes to Jax, Dex, Rex, Cal, Mal, and Blaze. They lined up along the runway and we pressed our cheeks to their smooth, rippled chests as they stared stoically at the horizon. We held their hands as we walked away, our fingertips straining to maintain the connection until the last possible moment. But we knew it couldn't last, so we boarded our aircraft and headed home.

As Kari and Janet finished their edits, I got to meet some of the fun people from FinePrint Literary Management. We noshed, they drank pretty pastel drinks, and I indulged in fancy sparkling water. We toasted to Kari's imminent success, because we know her name will be on all the bestseller lists. I met her friend Patty Blount, whose first novel, SEND, will be released this August. Every writer I've met so far has been encouraging and supportive, and Kari and Patty were no exception. It was a lovely, fantastical experience spending time with them, especially when I found out Coverland exists outside time. My entire visit only took six hours, so I was still able to catch the 9:51 train for New Jersey!

I was a little disoriented from traveling between the dimensions, but it was so glorious while I was there I forgot all about the searing pain of my sprained foot. On my way to New York, I stepped onto an uneven curb at my train station, lost my balance and rolled my foot. I fell to the ground, gasping in pain, and watched as my train chugged away. I pulled myself up rather than ruin my pants on the rain-dampened cement and hopped to my van. I cursed and cried for a minute before deciding I was not going to miss my only opportunity to meet Kari and, by extension, Janet.

I drove to CVS, bought a five dollar first aid kit and boarded the next train with an instant cold pack and ibuprofen. I iced my poor foot the whole way, dragged myself to the restaurant, and hobbled back to Penn Station after getting Kari settled in her hotel. By the time I got off the train at home the pain was excruciating. Nothing is broken, but I pulled all the muscles, and there's a wicked bruise that's spread like an oil slick from my toes to my ankle.

Pretty, no?

I wanted to check in with you sooner, but my mother and I have been engaged in a Stubborn-Off as she follows me around, harassing me to sit down and ice my foot. Then she wanders away to do my jobs, coughing from over-exertion, until I yell at her to sit down. If this keeps up they're going to find us wrestled to the couch and locked in a death embrace like that fossilized velociraptor and protoceratops. It took me three days to finally sneak away long enough to flaunt my bruises.

Oh, your poor foot! But you're right, that's no reason to miss hobnobbing with FinePrint people. Sounds like you had a blast. Now sit your butt down and ice that foot. And staple your mother to the sofa if necessary. (By the shirt, by the shirt!) You two are causing me long-distance worry. It's not nice. (Glad you had a nice time at the party. :) )

I love black nail polish! I usually save it for my toes, so I can be subversive. The hands get a boring beige, which gives the illusion that I have longer fingers. Perhaps I could paint my legs the same color...

Okay. Close your eyes, and imagine the models. They look exactly as you think, because...well, I invented the story. Not the part about hanging out with Kari and Janet and the folks at FinePrint, but unfortunately, I was not waited upon by shirtless hunks.

Oh no! That looks like a very sore foot. I'm so glad nothing is broken. What a trooper, though. To continue on and end up having an amazing time, that takes courage. I like to think I'd do that. I would have when I was younger but now, maybe I'd limp back home. : ) Take good care and listen to your mother. Hugs and healing vibes.

Believe me, I considered driving home. But then I thought back to my college days, when nothing short of hospitalization would have kept me from going to the Melody Bar. I figured I owed my mature, sober self the same kind of dedication!

Yes you can, Judy! I'll have Chase bring you some. He's blonde, about 6'4", with piercing blue eyes. He's got a few days worth of stubble though, because he's been driving like a bat out of hell to put some distance between him and his girl. I'm sure he'll appreciate the opportunity to wait on you while he broods.

While Janet Reid is certainly a literary rock star, I am a reader, not a writer. So I continue to squee about meeting Kari Lynn. Great writer AND she has livestock! and a talented dog. I am so glad your ankle didn't ruin your big evening. I would tell you to stay off of your ankle but that would be comical. Instead I will just remind you to keep icing it.

I did ice it, numerous times! I'm happy to report that I almost have an ankle bone visible underneath all the black bruises. I can't bend my toes, but I think that's because all the ligaments are stretched and unresponsive. Not unlike my teenagers.

great, great post, Megan. I did exactly the same thing to my foot two years ago, except it was my right foot. Hurt like a mother. The first week is the worst, after that it just takes awhile to heal. I did NOT baby it the way I was supposed to and ended up having to go to physical therapy after a couple of months when I still had almost no range of motion. Had to do exercises, etc. SO STAY OFF IT, as much as you can. just sayin.

and p.s. surprise toenail polish is one of my favorite things. Mine are usually turquoise, dark blue, or purple, although right now they're sparkly gold. Gives me a little thrill every time I take my socks off. which should tell you everything you need to know about my exciting life.

I'm not entirely convinced I didn't snap something in my ankle, because that continues to really freakin' hurt.

I am considering bright colors for the toes-I see all these girls with awesome greens and orange and it looks so fun! I can't wear nail polish because I ruin it in a day doing my motherly/wifely/writerly duties, but my toes are generally protected so they last longer. Enjoy your sockless happy moments-it's the little things that make life fun!

Oh my GOD! Now I feel bad about dragging you clear up to my hotel room. And wow, that sort of sounds bad, doesn't it?

Anyway, it was awesome to meet you even if we couldn't talk Brooks into taking off his shirt and serving us margaritas. Oh, and HI JUNE, and thanks for your wonderful compliments on my short stories. I hope to have a three story collection ready to go and available on ebook by mid-summer!

My crush on Paul Rudd is well documented,(http://megancoakley.blogspot.com/2012/02/my-dream-date.html),so I was a little disappointed that Brooks didn't indulge me with a little bit of shirtless attention. To be fair, I'm sure he didn't time to read all my posts before I dazzled him with discussion of sparkling water and my abundant fertility, so I'll let it slide this time.

Even if I'd broken the ankle I would have gone in to meet you. It was a kismet kind of thing. I mean, you live in Montana! How often are we going to get together?

So, until Janet fires up the jet again, remember--we'll always have Coverland.

It's improving, but I'm impatient. Shocking. I posted the pictures and thought of you and your oft-injured feet and toes.

I will teach you the secret handshake to get into Coverland, although it's more like a dance. A handsome, young man greets you at the tarmac. You take his hands and stare into his warm eyes. It's important to convey conflicted reluctance. You turn away as if you're going to leave, but he pulls you back, because he knows better than you what you need. You admit it, and surrender. You're in!

Got it x-rayed. They say there are no breaks, but I'm telling you, there's one spot right by my ankle that just doesn't feel right. It's a lovely shade of black/green all the way to the tips of my toes, but the swelling is better. If it's not better by Monday, I'm supposed to go back. I'm going to the Museum of Natural History tomorrow, so that probably won't help. But it's a trip with One, which is worth it.

How is the foot? I remembered today about tripping on a sidewalk 30 + years ago when going to the hospital for night duty in the ICU. Simple trip, but I tore a ligament and had to go into a cast for six weeks. Came over here thinking I'd missed a post of yours and now I'm worried. Hope you're healing and just taking good care of yourself and that there is nothing to worry about. : )

The foot is better, but not entirely healed. I will probably go back and see the doctor next week, because I still have significant ankle pain.

I am overdue for a post! I've been slogging through end-of-the-year commitments, finishing the MS, and fighting a sneaky melancholy that wants to drown me. But I'm still treading water, dammit, so it hasn't gotten me yet.