PSG faced scant resistance while sauntering to an 8-0 win over Dijon in Ligue 1 last night, leading to several thousand identical “cut the mustard” gags being hatched across the entire continent.

Angel Di Maria opened proceedings with a brace in the 4th and 15th-minute, before Edinson Cavani made it three with 21 minutes elapsed – a goal that saw the Uruguayan notch his 156th goal for PSG and thus draw level with Zlatan Ibrahimovic as the club’s all-time top scorer.

Neymar then pitched in with three goals on the spin, the third of which bringing back memories of his formative years at Santos, where he used to skin entire apathetic defences for fun…

Kylian Mbappe then came on and made it 7-0 in the 77th minute before Neymar once again thrust himself into the limelight, and not in good way.

In the 83rd minute, PSG won themselves a penalty and, despite Cavani being in a position to move out on his own as record goalscorer, it was the Brazilian man-toddler who snatched the taking duties, earning a rousing chorus of boos from fans inside the Parc des Princes.

PSG fans booing Neymar for not allowing Edinson Cavani to take a penalty that would make him the club’s all-time leading scorer. pic.twitter.com/UxyQhMOsbk

3Comments

The competition in Ligue 1 is a joke! We all know Neymar went their to primarily become the number one player in the team and get out of the shadow of Messi at Barcelona, in the hopes of winning a Ballon d’Or.

However some of the opposition teams are laughable and Neymar only cares about himself

Ibrahimovic’s happiest hunting ground too, funnily enough.
Both pricks made more than enough money to not care about it being a 1 horse race though. And really, the Ballon D’Or isn’t going to be won by a string pulling midfielder or a backline Generalissimo, so I imagine Neymar is pretty content with how his Ballon D’Or pursuit is going; score lots of goals, pull off a couple of youtube fodder slaloms and you’re well on track. Did I mention that he’s also raking in shed loads of dosh? Shit tats aren’t free after all!