Inside the Lines: Not responsible for gambling losses

Friday

Sep 26, 2008 at 12:01 AMSep 26, 2008 at 8:16 PM

I tried to give it away by putting the Kansas City Chiefs in the lead every week. But no one caught on. You made me do it. You insisted on betting real money on these games. On breaking the most ignored of all laws.

Bill Liesse

I tried to give it away by putting the Kansas City Chiefs in the lead every week.

But no one caught on.

You made me do it. You insisted on betting real money on these games. On breaking the most ignored of all laws.

You thought you could make a profit off a league in which a guy being debated as the best coach of all time a few years ago now can’t figure out direct snaps to a running back ... in his own building ... against the worst team in the league.

And if Miami’s destruction of New England wasn’t enough, on the other channel you had the Chicago Bears deciding a Brandon Lloyd-Rhonde Barber pairing was a mismatch ... in Lloyd’s favor!

You’re aboard this Buffalo Bills bandwagon, the wheels having come off the Jets’, because you’re so anxious to see those Patriots fall and suffer. So you turned the other way when lowly Oakland battered the Bills for 21/2 hours last week. The Raiders’ late giveaway made all right with the world again.

But you still paid your bookie. The line was 91/2.You took the Bills; he gets the cash.

We here at ITL have been trying to teach you a lesson: Crime doesn’t pay. Even victimless crime implicitly endorsed by law enforcement everywhere.

So we’ve been deliberately picking the games the wrong way. (And doing it at a rather amazing pace, if I may say so — .667 and counting.)

Just to mess you up if you pick up these words as any kind of guide.

Did anyone notice? Probably not. You sat there and thought I meant it when I said St. Louis last week, and Week 1 for that matter. You think that I thought that Arizona could win a game in the Eastern time zone. And so on.

Serves you right.

If you promise to put your wallet away, I’ll go back to picking the actual winners of these games.

I’m just not going to tell you when.

Love ’em

Eagles -3 at BEARS: A preview of the NLCS, this Chicago-Philly matchup? That’d be proper, seeing as the Bears have been playing fourth quarters like the Cubs played Games 6 and 7 the last time they were in a championship series. PHILADELPHIA.

Like ’em, but I’m scared

Bills -8 at RAMS: The Rams have made a change at quarterback, which should have all the healing effect as if Ben Bernanke dropped the prime by an eighth of a point right now. Maybe Scott Linehan just wanted to create an all-Trent quarterback matchup. Wonder who Dilfer likes? BUFFALO.

Broncos -9 at CHIEFS: Across the Show Me A Real NFL Team State, a quarterback switch actually should make a difference. KANSAS CITY.

Chargers -7 1/2 at RAIDERS: I haven’t heard Al Davis threaten to fire Doogie Kiffin, M.D. this week, so I’m counting on the Raiders to revert to the comical unit we all saw in Week 1 vs. Denver. SAN DIEGO.

COWBOYS -11 vs. Redskins: OK, it seems Dallas has some defense to go with that other-worldly offense. And the rivalry aspect of this game is diluted by it now being Dallas’ third-most-intense divisional series. Throw in Jason Taylor being out and I’ve been thinking Dallas all week. But I need all these points. WASHINGTON.

PANTHERS -7 vs. Falcons: Is Atlanta the Tampa Rays of the NFL? (Old reminder: We never say “Bay.” That’s water. The land is Tampa, even for teams that play in St. Pete.) Anyway, the Falcons sure have the fan apathy part down pat. ATLANTA.

JETS -1 1/2 vs. Cardinals: Taking Arizona in the East again. Just seeing if you’re following along. ARIZONA.

SAINTS -5 vs. 49ers: There isn’t a single Chad on either team, hanging or otherwise, to help decide this Bush vs. Gore matchup. It could take weeks to declare a winner, and even then we might not be sure. SAN FRANCISCO.

I hate these games

BUCCANEERS -1 vs. Packers: What’s a TV network to do without the Brett Favre-Warren Sapp lovefest to dwell on in this former rivalry? GREEN BAY.

BENGALS -3 1/2 vs. Browns: Given Thursday’s stunner in Corvallis, the winner here has a decent chance of leapfrogging USC in the power rankings. CLEVELAND.

JAGUARS -7 vs. Texans: Wicked. Houston historically has had the Jags’ number, winning 7 of 12. But the key number here is zero: Number of home games in 2008 for Houston, and chance for the Texans defense to stop Fred Taylor and Mo Drew. JACKSONVILLE.

STEELERS -5 1/2 vs. Ravens: You’re either taking a team with no Willie Parker, less than half a Big Ben and two missing defensive linemen ... or you’re taking Joe Flacco against the best fans in the world. I almost need a fifth category, one beneath “hate.” BALTIMORE.

Last week: 4-12

Season: 15-30-1

Bill Liesse can be reached at bliesse@pjstar.com or call (309) 686-3213.