Shooting: Story

Story Posted
08-16-2011

Outside My Comfort Zone - Flying Too Much

You know you are flying too much when...

By: by Deb Ferns, Babes With Bullets

Outside My Comfort Zone is a series of articles penned by Deb Ferns. Deb is the camp director of Babes with Bullets - women’s action shooting programs held across the country. She is also is the author of "Babes with Bullets…Women having fun with guns”. Deb is a board member of the Women’s Outdoor Media Association. With her husband, Gary, she enjoys a wide variety of shooting sports, though her favorite is multi-gun action events with rifle, shotgun and pistols. Her other hobbies include yoga, fishing and she is just starting to explore hunting.

It depresses me that in looking at my accumulated airline travel so far in 2011, with the year just barely half over, that I’m pushing 60,000 miles in the sky. Some people would look at that and think “wow, she’s so lucky she gets to travel so much” to which I would respond with these points. You know you are flying too much when:

You feel that the TSA staff are your new best friends.

One of the regular TSA guys at my local airport brought over a new TSA employee and announced “this gal knows everything about guns; have her give you a run-down on what she’s checking in today.” As the camp director of Babes with Bullets I often check in firearms but honestly I’m at the airport to catch a flight; not to educate TSA on the difference between a rifle and a shotgun even though they are both called long guns!

You start to enjoy taking off your clothes in front of dozens of strangers at the security check points (Consider that when you reach this point a career as an exotic dancer might be looming in your future.)

You reached your annual radiation level caused by the full body scanners three weeks into the new year. Of course now that I refuse the x-ray machine I get the special “pat down” and wand treatment. (I’ll probably find out later the wand has ten times the radiation of the x-ray machine.)

You wake up as the airplane touches down and ask the flight crew “where am I?” (This is a common occurrence if it’s a night flight and yes, it spooks the flight attendants.)

You start carrying things for small children that I refer to as “stop kicking my seat” bribes. Funny, many years ago as I used to fly with my daughters, I don’t remember seat kicking and screaming being the art form it’s taken on now, but that could be because I’m getting crabby in my 50’s.

You double-ear muff like you are to the range to shoot a .50 cal. FYI - I have my own custom ear plugs and a set of very comfortable Howard Leight muffs I keep in my flight bag, along with the bribes.

When the flight crew addresses you by name and get you a Coke plus a water before you even ask. (Next time I’m going to really screw them up and ask for Seven Up!)

You may have your own airport and airplane tips that you want to share; please email them to me at Deb@BabeswithBullets.com. Be aware I might use them in a standup comedy routine I’m working on. Watch out Jeff Foxworthy…I’m landing near you soon!