So it's April. Like you didn't know. I find April interesting mostly because it's the beginning of the name-after months. You know, April, May, June--these are things unimaginative people can name their kids, and for some reason, it's acceptable.

You get out of range, though, you're just ruining your little girl's life. I've known some chicks named September, one named October, and two named December. You know what their profession was? One guess, kids, and if it's anything other than "stripper," you're just being ignorant.

I know this is generally where I talk about what is in store for this site over the next month, but how the hell do I know?

Anyway, I'm not really too excited about this month, although I understand how some people would be. It's kind of like, "Hey, spring is here, hooray!" Spring got to Austin around January 10th, so excuse me if I don't get excited about the month where things start getting balls-hot.

There's also Easter, and about a billion Jewish holidays that I don't understand at all. Or is it Catholic? I don't know. I think there's something about eating fish in there, somewhere. Or not eating fish. Look, I know they have Cadbury eggs, isn't that enough?

posted 4/01/09

The important thing is that it's April. And even that doesn't seem all that important, now that I think about it. The truly important thing is the Cadbury Creme Eggs. Hooray!

Comments:

Entered By Uncle HoFrom Commies Don't Die2009-04-01 16:44:12

Cadbury Creme Eggs are poisonous -- I know because I poison them.

Entered By RayFrom Austin2009-04-01 17:00:17

That's some delicious poison ya got there. Keep up the good work!

Entered By LaurenFrom NH2009-04-01 20:42:55

Did Miss September, Miss October and the two Miss Decembers happen to work for Yankee Candle? Candle of the month so to speak.

Entered By RepresentativeFrom Yankee Candle Co2009-04-04 00:39:19

Look for new 2009 release of our updated Stripper Vagina Candles. Now with more real vagina scent! Available in June! Deep, deep in June.

Entered By LaurenFrom NH2009-04-04 01:41:49

Sign me up for the special "Locker Room Girl" and "Fresh Out Of Shower", along with "Morning After Night Of Action" and "Pearl Necklace" scents. I LOVE your candles Sir!!!!

Entered By RayFrom Austin2009-04-05 02:23:45

I'll stick with my regular order: two dozen of the Toothless Methhead and a case of the Bathroom Handjobs.