Top Rated

Categories

Blog Stats

“Side Chick Rules For Valentine’s Day” by Brydell Rice

Valentine’s Day is coming up and there needs to be some guidelines set for Side Chicks. Sometimes setting rules for Side Chicks is not enough, so I’ll be the genius and create a day for all the players and cheaters. And that day is “Side Chick Day.” Basically, it’s any day after any major holiday or birthday. For example, Valentine’s Day. The Side Chick may have sex with her undying love February 1st through the 13th and spend Valentine’s Day alone.

Rule 1: When a man is in a real relationship, you know, the one with a actual title like boyfriend/girlfriend, there are certain commitments that need to be maintained, like Valentine’s Day. Listen closely, Valentines Day is NOT for you so don’t Call me, don’t Text me, don’t Email me and definitely don’t start no drama, just stay in your lane and wait until the coast is clear.

Rule 2: Keep the communication between Side Chicks to a minimum on social networks on Valentine’s Day. I’m pretty sure in the convenient surveys is a statistic that shows Twitter, Facebook, and other social networks is the number one catalyst for failed relationships. It’s very easy to get caught up on such social networks which is why if a guy refuses to acknowledge you on his Timeline he’s trying to hide your affiliation. Side Chicks, you are not allowed to Tweet your undying love “Happy Valentines Day.” If so, you will be Unfollowed and with persistence you’ll be Blocked.

Rule 3: The day after Valentine’s Day is when you receive a gift, when the store bought gifts are discounted or on sale. Side Chicks get a $5 teddy bear or 99-cent gas station rose and some Penis. Keep in mind the day before, the girlfriend or wife more than likely received a $100 bouquet of roses, $50 teddy bear, and much, much more. You lose. Side Chicks, you get the left overs.

Rule 4: Don’t threaten your lover that you’re about to “Kill yourself.” LOL. More than likely, they don’t care because you’re only used for sexual gratification purposes. This is when Side Chicks get crazy or even become a philosopher on love through Tweets and Facebook posts (you out of all people are not an expert in this department).

Rule 5: You will continue to play your role on the bench. You can forget about having a weekend get-away and there’s no chance of a romantic evening for two. Sure, you’ll get Flowers and a box of chocolates…on Wednesday…when they are 50% off.

In conclusion, do you think a Side Chick has a right to be upset when the person they’re involved with spends Valentine’s Day with their real partner? Is it fair or to be hypocritical for someone who’s cheating to expect their Side Chick or “significant other” to be faithful? Heaven forbid I am just a harbinger of bad news. Worst case scenarios, you may be the Side Chick and if you apply to this article, just keep hope alive. What are you doing for Valentine’s Day or the day after A.K.A. “Side Chick Day”?