Yeah, that sounds innoculous, but when we were in uni he had it confiscated by the porters. When we started dating he asked me to go to the porters and tell them I was his girlfriend and that we’d be keeping it at my place (we did: I’m a good girl) just so that we could have it back. The porters liked me and everything…!

So anyway, Guy decided to get his shisha pipe out. But his shisha tongs has recently fallen down the back of the barbeque we built out of bricks collected from a demolition site at the end of our road, so he decided to adjust his hot coal with a LIGHTER.

I have a big problem with this. My problem chiefly stems from my third year at uni, when we used to keep lighters on top of the grill part of the oven for which the fuse switch was broken. My mum bought us a spark stick, but my housemates maimed it in a few weeks – so we used lighters. Then one day I was in the kitchen and there was this terrific

BANG

And something fell on me.

After a few moments of shock and a bit of investigation, I wrote a note and went out. I explained to my housemates that a lighter from on top of the grill had jusr exploded and we probably shouldn’t keep them there anymore. After that we learnt: hot lighters = explosives.

So I wasn’t happy with Guy’s hot coals plan, and decided he should use *fumbles for nearest convenient implement* this pair of sewing scissors (yes, I had been working on my sofa cover project). But oh, they have a plastic handle that is falling apart. Oh. *Fumbles for superglue.

And, after we had detached it from several pencils to which it had attached itself, I thought it would be a lovely gesture if Guy would superglue my boot shut.

THIS SOUNDS INSANE, BUT IT WORKS BRILLIANTLY.

A few weeks ago, I was caught by one of my fellow lecturers crouched on the floor by the cupboatrd clutching a trainer in one shoe. He asked me vaguely what I was doing? So I explained that my trainer had burst and I was supergluing it back together. He laughed. A lot. But it actually does work! It works! Superglue your shoes and you can get a lot of extra wear out of them after tha stitching gives way. And hence the boot!

Oddly, whilst the right boot is peeling a bit, it is obviously in tact, whilst the left boot had exploded and burst its stitching from both sides. But a few minutes and a bit of holding later, and the right boot is back of the race. Superglue is great for shoes – especially with winter coming on!