Can You Guess What This Person Was Charged With?

If you said, attempted sex with a van, you need help. That bizarre charge was filed against Michael Henson, who (not surprisingly) appeared intoxicated. I would hope so.

Police were called around 8 pm to the scene after a report of a man who was pulling down his pants and swinging on a stop sign. When they arrived, he was only wearing black gym sport and shoes and attempting to have sex with the grill of a van parked on the street. Now that is one thing that most people would not anticipate in trying to find a parking space safe from things like getting dinged or dented.

The make of the van is not released. While it is customary to withhold the name of a sexual assault victim, this does not appear to be the reason. A couple of possibilities would be the Isuzu Filly; Daihatsu Xenia; GAZ GAZelle; and the forever bewitching Suzuko Rascal.

By the way, this is hardly unheard of as a crime. (here and here). The objects of such affection in past cases have included cars, car vacuums, helicopters, and mailboxes. Most are charged out as indecent exposure . . . and over exposure on the Internet.

I would also like to suggest a special feature whenever Professor Turley presents one of these “guess what the person was charged with” articles. A “can you match the perps” quiz should accompany the article, with photos of a handful or so of persons so charged from previous articles, marked, say “a” to “e” — along with the charges, out of order, of course, labeled “1” to “5.” There seems to be no shortage of such novel charges.