Aching Tonight

I have spent the weekend shifting the last of my property from the family home – books, comics and fish tank. I had hoped to finish this weekend but there were a few unexpected holdups like a run to the tip to empty a trailer full of rubbish and the lack of electricity at the house which meant I couldn’t keep going last night because it was getting hard to see.

L has rented the house to a work colleague of hers and there were things I wanted to keep so had to move them. I have found out how unfit I am sitting here now, muscles aching, on a weekend when I wasn’t supposed to lift anything because of the stitches in my shoulder [for that story see here] .

I still have a few more boxes of books to collect plus my record collection which will all have to be done next weekend now. I also have a shed full of stuff I haven’t touched for years so I’ll have to do that in the next few weeks too.

I don’t think the fish have been looked after much in the last few months – there were only 11 left alive and the tank water was very cold because the electricity had been cut off a day or so earlier. Three more fish died in the move and I expect that some more may yet succumb to the shock of the move, although they’re all looking reasonably happy at the moment, that is if a fish can look happy. That’s not a criticism of anyone because I know they all would have been stressing about the move. It’s not every day that kids move out of the only home they’ve ever known so I understand why fish weren’t a priority.

Incidentally I did notice the budgies the girls gave me for my birthday last year were gone. I had dropped them at the house over Christmas and left them there primarily because L had told Erin that she’d get an aviary built for them. Once the move was organised that wasn’t practical of course so they were given to L’s niece. Not really sure why I wasn’t given the option of taking them back. Maybe I got asked, but I don’t remember it happening.

Erin did ask me in to see her new room yesterday morning after I dropped her off. I hope they settle in quickly to the new arrangement. I have offered for them to stay in my spare bedroom any time they wish to but that’s not likely to happen.

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6 Comments

Josie Two Shoes said,

I am so sorry to read that you had to do this hauling while your shoulder is in stitches, Loz. I know what you are going thru with the move all too well. I still have one more load of boxes to be brought in from the farm, and I have been gone from their eight months now. I have many, many boxes stacked and stored, that I simply can’t quite bring myself to deal with yet at this point. Such a move in midlife is very overwhelming. We’d long since settled in and thought our former home would be so for a lifetime. I know that each thing – from the fish to the budgies is just one more pain to deal with, every item touched brings a memory. There is still a lot of healing yet to come. What is important with your children is that they do know you have space available to them, that they are welcome. Keep the lines of communication open, they will come around. One day at a time, Loz, we will make it! (((Hugs)))

I am so sorry to read that you had to do this hauling while your shoulder is in stitches, Loz. I know what you are going thru with the move all too well. I still have one more load of boxes to be brought in from the farm, and I have been gone from their eight months now. I have many, many boxes stacked and stored, that I simply can’t quite bring myself to deal with yet at this point. Such a move in midlife is very overwhelming. We’d long since settled in and thought our former home would be so for a lifetime. I know that each thing – from the fish to the budgies is just one more pain to deal with, every item touched brings a memory. There is still a lot of healing yet to come. What is important with your children is that they do know you have space available to them, that they are welcome. Keep the lines of communication open, they will come around. One day at a time, Loz, we will make it! (((Hugs)))

Life altering transition – especially when it is laced with painful memories, or happy ones for that matter – is so …difficult.Your girls are going to be fine, Loz. Who knows, maybe it will be a kind of relief for them. A fresh new start in a fresh new place.Be sure and let us know how that shoulder situation turns out. I’m obviously worried…

Gypsy said,

It seems I may very well be heading down the same road Loz and it gives me hope to see that people actually do survive it. It is always so much more difficult when the emotional well being of your kids is at stake and that is where I struggle the most.

I haven’t been reading long enough to know the details, but whatever is keeping your daughters from visiting or staying, I’m sure with the patience and love I sense you have in you, they will eventually come around. When a marriage collapses, unfortunately there is a ripple effect that claims more victims than just the two people involved. Give them time. You seem like a good man and when they have done their healing I am sure they will be part of your life again.

It seems I may very well be heading down the same road Loz and it gives me hope to see that people actually do survive it. It is always so much more difficult when the emotional well being of your kids is at stake and that is where I struggle the most.I haven’t been reading long enough to know the details, but whatever is keeping your daughters from visiting or staying, I’m sure with the patience and love I sense you have in you, they will eventually come around. When a marriage collapses, unfortunately there is a ripple effect that claims more victims than just the two people involved. Give them time. You seem like a good man and when they have done their healing I am sure they will be part of your life again. Take care of that shoulder too, hope it gets better soon.