Doug French's ActivityTypepadTypepadtag:typepad.com,2003:profile.typepad.com/services/activity/atom/tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/personhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201a73d8e8dd4970d Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2014-03-12T21:52:51Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201a73d8e8dd1970dJoin me to ban "lean"http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2014-03-12T21:52:51Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>After several minutes of careful introspection, I think we need to ban the word &quot;lean.&quot;</p> <ul> <li><em>Lean</em> has so many pejorative connotations, such as how harsh economic downturns are often referred to as &quot;lean times.&quot;</li> <li><em>Lean</em> directly correlates to body image, especially among women who starve themselves and/or develop eating disorders to maintain the lean physique that our judgmental society expects.</li> <li><em>Leaning</em> indicates an inclination, but is non-committal. If you&#39;re leaning one way, you can just as easily revert to normal perpendicularity and then <em>lean</em> the opposite way, bending to the will of the strongest gust. To <em>lean</em> is to be an equivocal, tentative, unsure, mealy-mouthed, disingenuous, vague, obsequious, ineffectual, servile, little toady.</li> <li>Also, <em>lean</em> is often paired with <em>mean,</em> which is not nice.</li> </ul> <p>Join me to&#0160;<a data-ft="{&quot;tn&quot;:&quot;*N&quot;,&quot;type&quot;:104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/banlean?source=feed_text">‪#‎banlean‬</a>!</p> <p>(Makes about as much sense, <a href="http://leanin.org/" target="_blank">Sheryl</a>.)</p> <p>After several minutes of careful introspection, I think we need to ban the word &quot;lean.&quot;</p> <ul> <li><em>Lean</em> has so many pejorative connotations, such as how harsh economic downturns are often referred to as &quot;lean times.&quot;</li> <li><em>Lean</em> directly correlates to body image, especially among women who starve themselves and/or develop eating disorders to maintain the lean physique that our judgmental society expects.</li> <li><em>Leaning</em> indicates an inclination, but is non-committal. If you&#39;re leaning one way, you can just as easily revert to normal perpendicularity and then <em>lean</em> the opposite way, bending to the will of the strongest gust. To <em>lean</em> is to be an equivocal, tentative, unsure, mealy-mouthed, disingenuous, vague, obsequious, ineffectual, servile, little toady.</li> <li>Also, <em>lean</em> is often paired with <em>mean,</em> which is not nice.</li> </ul> <p>Join me to&#0160;<a data-ft="{&quot;tn&quot;:&quot;*N&quot;,&quot;type&quot;:104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/banlean?source=feed_text">‪#‎banlean‬</a>!</p> <p>(Makes about as much sense, <a href="http://leanin.org/" target="_blank">Sheryl</a>.)</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201a5116fe3e7970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2014-02-18T22:01:46Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201a5116fe3e6970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2014-02-18T22:01:46Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201a73d7b319d970d Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2014-02-18T22:01:23Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201a73d7b319c970dhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2014-02-18T22:01:23Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201a5116fe370970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2014-02-18T22:00:25Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201a5116fe36f970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2014-02-18T22:00:25Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201a3fcc02574970b Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2014-02-18T21:59:39Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201a3fcc02573970bhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2014-02-18T21:59:39Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201a5116ed34a970c Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2014-02-17T18:14:10Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201a3fcbe893d970bBracing for the big thawhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2014-02-17T18:14:10Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>This is my first post since Halloween, and a lot&#39;s happened since:</p> <ul> <li>my parents <a href="http://instagram.com/p/hXR2tNCxy8/" target="_blank">celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary</a>;</li> <li>our <a href="http://us.movember.com/team/1023617" target="_blank">Movember team</a> raised another $15K;</li> <li>the <a href="http://instagram.com/p/iT7AGXixy9/" target="_blank">Christmas</a> <a href="http://instagram.com/p/iHSaTnCxy7/" target="_blank">season</a> came and went, and I barely noticed it (more about that later);</li> <li>I appeared on <a href="http://michiganradio.org/post/ann-arbor-father-seeks-respect-all-dads-america" target="_blank">Michigan Public Radio</a>&#0160;to talk about Dad 2.o; and then</li> <li><a href="http://www.dad2summit.com/2014/02/03/dad-2-opinion-recaps-of-dad-2-014/" target="_blank">Dad 2.014</a> amassed 84 million Twitter impressions and globally out-trended the Super Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday.&#0160;</li> </ul> <p>On top of all that is coldest, <a href="http://www.mlive.com/news/ann-arbor/index.ssf/2014/02/ann_arbor_sees_record_snow_fal.html" target="_blank">snowiest</a>, polar vortexiest winter I can remember, one that has left&#0160;me with a fleeting memory of whatever grass looks like. And it has recently occurred to me that the huge snow fortresses on either side of my driveway are a remarkably apt allegory for the way I&#39;ve lived my life since the turn of the millennium.&#0160;</p> <p>It&#39;s been a slow build, but a build nonetheless. It began when I started losing jobs, the first of three, in the fall of 2000. Then my marriage ended, I moved away from my friends and family, and (in what was very nearly the co<em>up de grace</em>), I had a heart attack.</p> <p>So much of these last 13+ years has been about loss that it&#39;s been increasingly difficult to invest emotionally in much of anything. Why be vulnerable and love something, even something as precious as life itself, when it&#39;s all destined to go away?</p> <p>Protect yourself. Be genial, be kind, be who you need to be for the people who love you and depend on you, but keep your heart locked away, under a layer of frozen insulation.&#0160;</p> <p>I think that&#39;s a pretty shitty way to live, so I&#39;ve decided not to anymore.</p> <p>And the first step, I think, is laying &quot;Laid-Off Dad&quot; to rest.&#0160;</p> <p>I spent ten years with LOD as my nom de blog, but I don&#39;t see the value of identifying with those three layoffs any longer. (It&#39;s just <em>so</em> last-decade, y&#39;know?) So I&#39;m changing my blog name and <a href="https://twitter.com/mrdougfrench" target="_blank">my Twitter handle</a>, and for the first time in a very long time, ending something on my own terms. It feels glorious.</p> <p>The fortresses are melting. I don&#39;t know what&#39;s left of the garden underneath, but I&#39;m ready to find out.</p> <p>This is my first post since Halloween, and a lot&#39;s happened since:</p> <ul> <li>my parents <a href="http://instagram.com/p/hXR2tNCxy8/" target="_blank">celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary</a>;</li> <li>our <a href="http://us.movember.com/team/1023617" target="_blank">Movember team</a> raised another $15K;</li> <li>the <a href="http://instagram.com/p/iT7AGXixy9/" target="_blank">Christmas</a> <a href="http://instagram.com/p/iHSaTnCxy7/" target="_blank">season</a> came and went, and I barely noticed it (more about that later);</li> <li>I appeared on <a href="http://michiganradio.org/post/ann-arbor-father-seeks-respect-all-dads-america" target="_blank">Michigan Public Radio</a>&#0160;to talk about Dad 2.o; and then</li> <li><a href="http://www.dad2summit.com/2014/02/03/dad-2-opinion-recaps-of-dad-2-014/" target="_blank">Dad 2.014</a> amassed 84 million Twitter impressions and globally out-trended the Super Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday.&#0160;</li> </ul> <p>On top of all that is coldest, <a href="http://www.mlive.com/news/ann-arbor/index.ssf/2014/02/ann_arbor_sees_record_snow_fal.html" target="_blank">snowiest</a>, polar vortexiest winter I can remember, one that has left&#0160;me with a fleeting memory of whatever grass looks like. And it has recently occurred to me that the huge snow fortresses on either side of my driveway are a remarkably apt allegory for the way I&#39;ve lived my life since the turn of the millennium.&#0160;</p> <p>It&#39;s been a slow build, but a build nonetheless. It began when I started losing jobs, the first of three, in the fall of 2000. Then my marriage ended, I moved away from my friends and family, and (in what was very nearly the co<em>up de grace</em>), I had a heart attack.</p> <p>So much of these last 13+ years has been about loss that it&#39;s been increasingly difficult to invest emotionally in much of anything. Why be vulnerable and love something, even something as precious as life itself, when it&#39;s all destined to go away?</p> <p>Protect yourself. Be genial, be kind, be who you need to be for the people who love you and depend on you, but keep your heart locked away, under a layer of frozen insulation.&#0160;</p> <p>I think that&#39;s a pretty shitty way to live, so I&#39;ve decided not to anymore.</p> <p>And the first step, I think, is laying &quot;Laid-Off Dad&quot; to rest.&#0160;</p> <p>I spent ten years with LOD as my nom de blog, but I don&#39;t see the value of identifying with those three layoffs any longer. (It&#39;s just <em>so</em> last-decade, y&#39;know?) So I&#39;m changing my blog name and <a href="https://twitter.com/mrdougfrench" target="_blank">my Twitter handle</a>, and for the first time in a very long time, ending something on my own terms. It feels glorious.</p> <p>The fortresses are melting. I don&#39;t know what&#39;s left of the garden underneath, but I&#39;m ready to find out.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2019b0082decc970d Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-10-31T19:54:37Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2019b0082deca970d#HelpWomenAtRiskhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-10-31T19:54:37Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p dir="ltr">It&#39;s the end of October, but it&#39;s still not too late to help out two dear friends in an important cause.</p> <p dir="ltr">All month, <a href="http://www.bostonmamas.com" target="_blank">Christine Koh</a> and <a href="http://www.parenthacks.com" target="_blank">Asha Dornfest</a>, co-authors of Minimalist Parenting and each a definitively superlative human being, are donating 100% of the royalties for all copies of their book that are purchased through <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1937134342/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1937134342&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=helpwomenatrisk-20" target="_blank">this Amazon listing</a> to WOMEN AT RISK, an Ethiopian organization that helps women lift themselves out of prostitution.</p> <p dir="ltr">I know the month is almost over. But Christine is probably still in a tremendous mood because of the Red Sox, and since Asha is on the West Coast, her day is three hours longer than mine. So if you&#39;ve thought about buying &quot;<a href="http://www.minimalistparenting.com" target="_blank">Minimalist Parenting</a>,&quot; an enjoyable, practical, no-nonsense riposte toward the scourge of overprogramming our children and ourselves, now is definitely the time.&#0160;</p> <p dir="ltr">If you do buy the book, I will be maximally grateful.</p> <p dir="ltr">It&#39;s the end of October, but it&#39;s still not too late to help out two dear friends in an important cause.</p> <p dir="ltr">All month, <a href="http://www.bostonmamas.com" target="_blank">Christine Koh</a> and <a href="http://www.parenthacks.com" target="_blank">Asha Dornfest</a>, co-authors of Minimalist Parenting and each a definitively superlative human being, are donating 100% of the royalties for all copies of their book that are purchased through <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1937134342/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1937134342&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=helpwomenatrisk-20" target="_blank">this Amazon listing</a> to WOMEN AT RISK, an Ethiopian organization that helps women lift themselves out of prostitution.</p> <p dir="ltr">I know the month is almost over. But Christine is probably still in a tremendous mood because of the Red Sox, and since Asha is on the West Coast, her day is three hours longer than mine. So if you&#39;ve thought about buying &quot;<a href="http://www.minimalistparenting.com" target="_blank">Minimalist Parenting</a>,&quot; an enjoyable, practical, no-nonsense riposte toward the scourge of overprogramming our children and ourselves, now is definitely the time.&#0160;</p> <p dir="ltr">If you do buy the book, I will be maximally grateful.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2019affc1b526970d Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-10-03T16:36:48Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2019affbcad2c970bGood manners are a terrible, terrible thinghttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-10-03T16:36:48Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>As I entered my barber shop this morning, I got to the door at the same time as the kid who parked next to me. When I noticed he was wearing a Brooklyn Cyclones cap, I asked him if he was a fan.&#0160;Turns out, <a href="http://www.brooklyncyclones.com/team/roster/index.html?player_id=271" target="_blank">he played for them</a> this summer.</p> <p>This was a big deal for me. You don&#39;t see a lot of Cyclophernalia around here, and I&#39;ve been a big fan since the franchise came to be in 2001.&#0160;When I lived in New York City, I often made the trek to Coney Island to sit a few rows off the field, in a stadium a few hundred yards off the beach, with a Nathan&#39;s hot dog in one hand and a program in the other. (Fun fact! It actually takes less time for me to fly from Detroit to LaGuardia than to ride the subway from Inwood to Surf Ave. I used to get off the train and earnestly wonder if Obama was still president.)</p> <p>While we were waiting, we talked about his summer experience living in Brooklyn. The team lived in a hotel not far from the Barclays Center, and they were bused to and from the stadium for every home game. They didn&#39;t see much of the boardwalk, the carnies, or the Cyclone itself. Furthermore, since they had only a few nights off all season long, they didn&#39;t even see much of the rest of the city, either. For the most part, his summer was spent in a hermetic bubble of play, practice, travel, and hanging out playing video games.</p> <p>At one point, another guy in the shop asked him whether he was playing in any developmental leagues over the winter, and he said, &quot;I think I might be a little old for that.&quot; And since I am me, I made a crack about how I have clothes older than he. (I was specifically referencing my R.E.M. Green concert t-shirt, which is almost old enough to run for Congress, and would likely govern more effectively.)&#0160;</p> <p>We laughed and shot the shit, as you do in barber shops. It was convivial and manly and fun, and I was enjoying myself.</p> <p>Then, as the kid left, he said, &quot;Great to meet you, sir!&quot; And my guts jumped off a bridge.</p> <p>As I entered my barber shop this morning, I got to the door at the same time as the kid who parked next to me. When I noticed he was wearing a Brooklyn Cyclones cap, I asked him if he was a fan.&#0160;Turns out, <a href="http://www.brooklyncyclones.com/team/roster/index.html?player_id=271" target="_blank">he played for them</a> this summer.</p> <p>This was a big deal for me. You don&#39;t see a lot of Cyclophernalia around here, and I&#39;ve been a big fan since the franchise came to be in 2001.&#0160;When I lived in New York City, I often made the trek to Coney Island to sit a few rows off the field, in a stadium a few hundred yards off the beach, with a Nathan&#39;s hot dog in one hand and a program in the other. (Fun fact! It actually takes less time for me to fly from Detroit to LaGuardia than to ride the subway from Inwood to Surf Ave. I used to get off the train and earnestly wonder if Obama was still president.)</p> <p>While we were waiting, we talked about his summer experience living in Brooklyn. The team lived in a hotel not far from the Barclays Center, and they were bused to and from the stadium for every home game. They didn&#39;t see much of the boardwalk, the carnies, or the Cyclone itself. Furthermore, since they had only a few nights off all season long, they didn&#39;t even see much of the rest of the city, either. For the most part, his summer was spent in a hermetic bubble of play, practice, travel, and hanging out playing video games.</p> <p>At one point, another guy in the shop asked him whether he was playing in any developmental leagues over the winter, and he said, &quot;I think I might be a little old for that.&quot; And since I am me, I made a crack about how I have clothes older than he. (I was specifically referencing my R.E.M. Green concert t-shirt, which is almost old enough to run for Congress, and would likely govern more effectively.)&#0160;</p> <p>We laughed and shot the shit, as you do in barber shops. It was convivial and manly and fun, and I was enjoying myself.</p> <p>Then, as the kid left, he said, &quot;Great to meet you, sir!&quot; And my guts jumped off a bridge.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2019aff9f726c970c Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-09-26T18:16:36Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2019aff9ae3f3970cSemiperfect, Narcissistic, and terribly gratefulhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-09-26T18:16:35Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>Today, I&#39;m 48 years old. 48 might not seem all that special on its surface, until you convert it to a nice, round 110,000 in binary. (For the record, I don&#39;t feel a day over 101,011.) Four dozens, three Sweet-16s, one-third of a gross. 48 is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semiperfect_number" target="_self">semiperfect</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_number" target="_self">Narcissistic</a>, and it is the smallest number with exactly ten divisors.</p> <p>There are 48 hours in a weekend, and I&#39;ve been alive for the equivalent of 8,766 of them.&#0160;</p> <p>You could say this is a great day because it&#39;s absolutely beautiful outside. 74 degrees, breezy and cloudless.</p> <p>You could say it&#39;s because the Yankees have been eliminated from the playoffs, or that AMC is running a Breaking Bad marathon all day long.</p> <p>You could say it&#39;s because I&#39;m so grateful for all your helpful comments, Likes, DMs, RTs, +1&#39;s, thumbs-ups, Hey Nows, and So Glad You&#39;re OKs I&#39;ve received over the past couple of weeks. This is the warmest and fuzziest I&#39;ve felt about the Internet since <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2008/04/falling-down.html" target="_blank">I spilled my divorce beans</a>&#0160;5+ years ago. Thank you all so much, again, for your support and encouragement.</p> <p>You could say it&#39;s because we live in an age when you can save a human&#39;s life by threading a piece of metal macaroni from his groin to his heart using a micro-fiber with a camera at its tip.</p> <p>You could say it&#39;s because the last vestiges of my marionetting at the ICU are almost gone. My inner elbows no longer look like those of a heroin addict. The adhesive residue has worn off my elbows. My bruises have healed. My groin feels groiny again.&#0160;My chest hair is growing back, and I look less like a <a href="http://fritzssalon.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/manolantern.jpg" target="_blank">Man-O&#39;-Lantern</a>&#0160;(or, more accurately in this case, a Man-tato).</p> <p>But the main reason this is a great day is that, for the first time since I was myocardially infarcted, after 16 days of confinement and clamor, I am autonomously alone in my house.</p> <p>Parents and former hospital denizens: You feel me?</p> <iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="355" scrolling="no" src="//instagram.com/p/eiV0k8Cxyb/embed/" width="306"></iframe> <p>Today, I&#39;m 48 years old. 48 might not seem all that special on its surface, until you convert it to a nice, round 110,000 in binary. (For the record, I don&#39;t feel a day over 101,011.) Four dozens, three Sweet-16s, one-third of a gross. 48 is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semiperfect_number" target="_self">semiperfect</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_number" target="_self">Narcissistic</a>, and it is the smallest number with exactly ten divisors.</p> <p>There are 48 hours in a weekend, and I&#39;ve been alive for the equivalent of 8,766 of them.&#0160;</p> <p>You could say this is a great day because it&#39;s absolutely beautiful outside. 74 degrees, breezy and cloudless.</p> <p>You could say it&#39;s because the Yankees have been eliminated from the playoffs, or that AMC is running a Breaking Bad marathon all day long.</p> <p>You could say it&#39;s because I&#39;m so grateful for all your helpful comments, Likes, DMs, RTs, +1&#39;s, thumbs-ups, Hey Nows, and So Glad You&#39;re OKs I&#39;ve received over the past couple of weeks. This is the warmest and fuzziest I&#39;ve felt about the Internet since <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2008/04/falling-down.html" target="_blank">I spilled my divorce beans</a>&#0160;5+ years ago. Thank you all so much, again, for your support and encouragement.</p> <p>You could say it&#39;s because we live in an age when you can save a human&#39;s life by threading a piece of metal macaroni from his groin to his heart using a micro-fiber with a camera at its tip.</p> <p>You could say it&#39;s because the last vestiges of my marionetting at the ICU are almost gone. My inner elbows no longer look like those of a heroin addict. The adhesive residue has worn off my elbows. My bruises have healed. My groin feels groiny again.&#0160;My chest hair is growing back, and I look less like a <a href="http://fritzssalon.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/manolantern.jpg" target="_blank">Man-O&#39;-Lantern</a>&#0160;(or, more accurately in this case, a Man-tato).</p> <p>But the main reason this is a great day is that, for the first time since I was myocardially infarcted, after 16 days of confinement and clamor, I am autonomously alone in my house.</p> <p>Parents and former hospital denizens: You feel me?</p> <iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="355" scrolling="no" src="//instagram.com/p/eiV0k8Cxyb/embed/" width="306"></iframe>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2019aff815f0a970b Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-09-20T14:43:45Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2019aff7daaaf970cAck-ack-ack-ackhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-09-20T14:43:45Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>Throughout much of my writing life, readers have noticed that I like <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2004/11/burying_the_led.html" target="_blank">burying the lede</a>. I can&#39;t help it. I like the idea of a build-up and reveal. Wow &#39;em in the end, and you&#39;ll have a hit. </p> <p>That&#39;s not going to happen this time around, though. This lede is coming at ya, right between the ribs:</p> <p>Last week, this 47-year-old, non-obese, non-diabetic non-smoker had a heart attack.</p> <p>Exactly as you might expect, it came about unexpectedly, while I was on the treadmill at the gym. Further unexpectedly, I didn&#39;t feel any chest pains or waves of numbness down my left arm. I just started feeling light-headed and nauseated, and since it was 96° and the gym&#39;s AC was out, I thought I was having a heat event instead of a heart event.</p> <p>It turns out, a genetically predisposed hunk of arterial plaque had ruptured and formed a clot that ruined my whole day.&#0160;</p> <p>The good news is that there is a lot of good news. For one, I&#39;m home and feeling fine. I spent a day in the ICU, a day in the not-ICU, and was released a day earlier than anticipated. And all of the doctors I&#39;ve seen (including my GP, whose parents probably met when I was in college) predict that, after cardiac rehab and acclimation to the mini-pharmacy I&#39;ll ingest every day for the rest of my life, I&#39;ll be better off than before.</p> <p>For two, my boys were blissfully unaware of the worst of it. They were with their mom in my house, and all they saw was me conjuring my Benigni-esque best while I was attached to all those machines and drips and doodads.</p> <p>For three, my older son didn&#39;t buy any of it. I&#39;ve decided that he is actually Benjamin Button, 11 going on 64. Because when I got home, he asked me, &quot;Dad, did you have any conversations with yourself while you were alone in your hospital room?&quot;</p> <p>(I&#39;ll pause a second while you take that in.)</p> <p>The truth is, of course I did. About my life, my mortality, whatever legacy I&#39;ll leave. And all things considered, it&#39;s all going pretty well. I love my job, I&#39;m a big part of my boys&#39; life, and my ex-wife and I have patched our friendship up enough for her to move in here (and sleep on TwoBert&#39;s lower bunk, of all places) until I&#39;m cleared to drive a car. Which could very likely be today.</p> <p>Yes, I know. For someone avoiding stress, having your ex move in doesn&#39;t appear high on the priority list. But I like to think of our situation a lot like how <a href="http://www.babble.com/babble-voices/teen-beat-georgia-getz/how-to-parent-a-teenager-post-divorce-thinking-outside-of-the-box/" target="_blank">Georgia</a> put it: &quot;We will always be a family of four, although without a marriage at the center of it.&quot; For that, I will always feel weirdly blessed.</p> <p>And for four, this 47-year-old heart-attack survivor is going to turn 48 next week. It will be the best birthday ever.</p> <p>Throughout much of my writing life, readers have noticed that I like <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2004/11/burying_the_led.html" target="_blank">burying the lede</a>. I can&#39;t help it. I like the idea of a build-up and reveal. Wow &#39;em in the end, and you&#39;ll have a hit. </p> <p>That&#39;s not going to happen this time around, though. This lede is coming at ya, right between the ribs:</p> <p>Last week, this 47-year-old, non-obese, non-diabetic non-smoker had a heart attack.</p> <p>Exactly as you might expect, it came about unexpectedly, while I was on the treadmill at the gym. Further unexpectedly, I didn&#39;t feel any chest pains or waves of numbness down my left arm. I just started feeling light-headed and nauseated, and since it was 96° and the gym&#39;s AC was out, I thought I was having a heat event instead of a heart event.</p> <p>It turns out, a genetically predisposed hunk of arterial plaque had ruptured and formed a clot that ruined my whole day.&#0160;</p> <p>The good news is that there is a lot of good news. For one, I&#39;m home and feeling fine. I spent a day in the ICU, a day in the not-ICU, and was released a day earlier than anticipated. And all of the doctors I&#39;ve seen (including my GP, whose parents probably met when I was in college) predict that, after cardiac rehab and acclimation to the mini-pharmacy I&#39;ll ingest every day for the rest of my life, I&#39;ll be better off than before.</p> <p>For two, my boys were blissfully unaware of the worst of it. They were with their mom in my house, and all they saw was me conjuring my Benigni-esque best while I was attached to all those machines and drips and doodads.</p> <p>For three, my older son didn&#39;t buy any of it. I&#39;ve decided that he is actually Benjamin Button, 11 going on 64. Because when I got home, he asked me, &quot;Dad, did you have any conversations with yourself while you were alone in your hospital room?&quot;</p> <p>(I&#39;ll pause a second while you take that in.)</p> <p>The truth is, of course I did. About my life, my mortality, whatever legacy I&#39;ll leave. And all things considered, it&#39;s all going pretty well. I love my job, I&#39;m a big part of my boys&#39; life, and my ex-wife and I have patched our friendship up enough for her to move in here (and sleep on TwoBert&#39;s lower bunk, of all places) until I&#39;m cleared to drive a car. Which could very likely be today.</p> <p>Yes, I know. For someone avoiding stress, having your ex move in doesn&#39;t appear high on the priority list. But I like to think of our situation a lot like how <a href="http://www.babble.com/babble-voices/teen-beat-georgia-getz/how-to-parent-a-teenager-post-divorce-thinking-outside-of-the-box/" target="_blank">Georgia</a> put it: &quot;We will always be a family of four, although without a marriage at the center of it.&quot; For that, I will always feel weirdly blessed.</p> <p>And for four, this 47-year-old heart-attack survivor is going to turn 48 next week. It will be the best birthday ever.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201901ef2bb8f970b Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-08-22T18:15:19Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201901eea683d970b"Like 'Days of Our Lives,' but with more nipples"http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-08-22T18:15:18Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>A couple years ago, my older boy started watching &quot;Days of Our Lives&quot; with his mother. I can&#39;t say I&#39;m totally happy with the arrangement, since some of the adult themes, watered down as they are for daytime network television, are a lot for an 11yo boy to process. It&#39;s definitely a PG show, but at least she watches it with him and gives him all the PG he needs.</p> <p>For me, taking the boys to SummerSlam last weekend was the flipside of this arrangement. Pro wrestling is also definitely a PG experience, what with the crowds, the relentless spectacle, the posturing, the body worship (both male and female), and all the backbiting skulduggery. (&quot;But Dad, I thought those guys were friends! Why did he hit him with a chair?&quot;)</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="355" scrolling="no" src="//instagram.com/p/dLgverCx3p/embed/" width="306"></iframe></p> <p><a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2013/08/wwere-going-to-la.html" target="_blank">Like I said</a>, I hadn&#39;t invested much time in pro wrestling for some 20 years; I&#39;m happy to say, though, that the one-ring circus hasn&#39;t changed a lick. The difference comes when you attend one of these events LIVE, and these hulks that you see flying cartoonishly around your TV screen take on a visceral force, mass, and acceleration. Part of the genius of these athletes is that when bodies collide, you <em>feel</em> it (probably because the billion-decibel music sets your ribcage vibrating like a xylophone. If you bring your kids to one of these things, bring earplugs; otherwise, your kids will cram their fingers into their ears so intently that they could very well meet in the middle).&#0160;</p> <p>The weekend was about a lot more than that, though. It was about Axxess, a deeper (and unfortunately-spelled) look at what goes on Behind The Tights:</p> <ul> <li>It was about <a href="http://instagram.com/p/dKeJSlCx81/" target="_blank">meeting Cody (son of Dusty) Rhodes</a>, who told me how great it was to grow up with a famous, well-loved dad and how important it is for him to carry on the family reputation. He&#39;s great with kids, especially when he brought my sons into the ring and showed them the exact pacing of how you throw yourself into the ropes to generate the most momentum;</li> <li>It was about him and <a href="http://www.wwe.com/superstars/hornswoggle" target="_blank">Hornswoggle</a> reading <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0399256008/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0399256008&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=laidoffdad-20">Otis</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=laidoffdad-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=0399256008" width="1" />&#0160;aloud to a couple hundred adoring kids, in advance of&#0160;<a href="http://www.wegivebooks.org" target="_blank">We Give Books</a>&#39;s attempt to set a world record for reading on October 3 (details <a href="http://www.wegivebooks.org/readfortherecord" target="_blank">here</a>);</li> <li>It was about meeting reps from Make-A-Wish, and Komen, and other groups WWE is trying to serve with its massive popularity.&#0160;</li> </ul> <p>And like a good soap opera, you can step a way for a while, and when you come back, it feels like you never left. I had to study up on the latest backstory and the parties therein, but in the end it played out as it always does: Square-jawed hero is upset by scraggly crowd favorite, who celebrates for about three minutes before the ref turns on him, knocks him senseless, and conspires with the evil guy with the briefcase to take the belt away; bearded guy vows revenge, but then falls into amnesia and forgets he has fathered a secret love child with the daughter of the ruthless tungsten magnate, who conspires with his evil twin to blackmail the heroic town DA, who doesn&#39;t yet know that he&#39;s actually the rightful heir to the tungsten fortune and whose wife has a simmering feud with Stefano, the crime boss who&#39;s been killed off every time his contract was up for negotiation.</p> <p>It&#39;s all just a hulking heap of enjoyable nonsense.</p> <p>After we left the Staples Center (and my 11yo had had sufficient time to recover from the sensory overload), he and I discussed all this on the way back to the hotel:</p> <ul> <li>&quot;Let me get this straight,&quot; he said. &quot;The ref was really in on it with the bad guy, who snuck in at the last second and won the belt.&quot;</li> <li>&quot;That&#39;s right.&quot;</li> <li>&quot;So it&#39;s just it&#39;s just another wacky story, and they put in a lot of drama and injustice so we&#39;d come back and see what happens next.&quot;</li> <li>&quot;Pretty much.&quot;</li> <li>&quot;Sounds to me like it&#39;s just like &#39;Days of Our Lives,&#39; but with more nipples.&quot;</li> </ul> <p>I can&#39;t improve on that.</p> <p>A couple years ago, my older boy started watching &quot;Days of Our Lives&quot; with his mother. I can&#39;t say I&#39;m totally happy with the arrangement, since some of the adult themes, watered down as they are for daytime network television, are a lot for an 11yo boy to process. It&#39;s definitely a PG show, but at least she watches it with him and gives him all the PG he needs.</p> <p>For me, taking the boys to SummerSlam last weekend was the flipside of this arrangement. Pro wrestling is also definitely a PG experience, what with the crowds, the relentless spectacle, the posturing, the body worship (both male and female), and all the backbiting skulduggery. (&quot;But Dad, I thought those guys were friends! Why did he hit him with a chair?&quot;)</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="355" scrolling="no" src="//instagram.com/p/dLgverCx3p/embed/" width="306"></iframe></p> <p><a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2013/08/wwere-going-to-la.html" target="_blank">Like I said</a>, I hadn&#39;t invested much time in pro wrestling for some 20 years; I&#39;m happy to say, though, that the one-ring circus hasn&#39;t changed a lick. The difference comes when you attend one of these events LIVE, and these hulks that you see flying cartoonishly around your TV screen take on a visceral force, mass, and acceleration. Part of the genius of these athletes is that when bodies collide, you <em>feel</em> it (probably because the billion-decibel music sets your ribcage vibrating like a xylophone. If you bring your kids to one of these things, bring earplugs; otherwise, your kids will cram their fingers into their ears so intently that they could very well meet in the middle).&#0160;</p> <p>The weekend was about a lot more than that, though. It was about Axxess, a deeper (and unfortunately-spelled) look at what goes on Behind The Tights:</p> <ul> <li>It was about <a href="http://instagram.com/p/dKeJSlCx81/" target="_blank">meeting Cody (son of Dusty) Rhodes</a>, who told me how great it was to grow up with a famous, well-loved dad and how important it is for him to carry on the family reputation. He&#39;s great with kids, especially when he brought my sons into the ring and showed them the exact pacing of how you throw yourself into the ropes to generate the most momentum;</li> <li>It was about him and <a href="http://www.wwe.com/superstars/hornswoggle" target="_blank">Hornswoggle</a> reading <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0399256008/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0399256008&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=laidoffdad-20">Otis</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=laidoffdad-20&amp;l=as2&amp;o=1&amp;a=0399256008" width="1" />&#0160;aloud to a couple hundred adoring kids, in advance of&#0160;<a href="http://www.wegivebooks.org" target="_blank">We Give Books</a>&#39;s attempt to set a world record for reading on October 3 (details <a href="http://www.wegivebooks.org/readfortherecord" target="_blank">here</a>);</li> <li>It was about meeting reps from Make-A-Wish, and Komen, and other groups WWE is trying to serve with its massive popularity.&#0160;</li> </ul> <p>And like a good soap opera, you can step a way for a while, and when you come back, it feels like you never left. I had to study up on the latest backstory and the parties therein, but in the end it played out as it always does: Square-jawed hero is upset by scraggly crowd favorite, who celebrates for about three minutes before the ref turns on him, knocks him senseless, and conspires with the evil guy with the briefcase to take the belt away; bearded guy vows revenge, but then falls into amnesia and forgets he has fathered a secret love child with the daughter of the ruthless tungsten magnate, who conspires with his evil twin to blackmail the heroic town DA, who doesn&#39;t yet know that he&#39;s actually the rightful heir to the tungsten fortune and whose wife has a simmering feud with Stefano, the crime boss who&#39;s been killed off every time his contract was up for negotiation.</p> <p>It&#39;s all just a hulking heap of enjoyable nonsense.</p> <p>After we left the Staples Center (and my 11yo had had sufficient time to recover from the sensory overload), he and I discussed all this on the way back to the hotel:</p> <ul> <li>&quot;Let me get this straight,&quot; he said. &quot;The ref was really in on it with the bad guy, who snuck in at the last second and won the belt.&quot;</li> <li>&quot;That&#39;s right.&quot;</li> <li>&quot;So it&#39;s just it&#39;s just another wacky story, and they put in a lot of drama and injustice so we&#39;d come back and see what happens next.&quot;</li> <li>&quot;Pretty much.&quot;</li> <li>&quot;Sounds to me like it&#39;s just like &#39;Days of Our Lives,&#39; but with more nipples.&quot;</li> </ul> <p>I can&#39;t improve on that.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201901ed5ef0d970b Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-08-17T02:56:44Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e20192ac95265b970dWWE're going to LA!http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-08-17T02:56:44Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>During the week after Father&#39;s Day, I took part in a roundtable discussion about marketing to parents that was organized by PR Week and featured a lot of PR people that I hope a lot of other PR people will listen to. The two parents were <a href="http://mom-101.com/" target="_blank">Liz Gumbinner</a> and me (which was fine by me, since I always come off smarter when I appear with Liz), and the result was a productive dialogue about what resonates with modern parents, and why so many advertising efforts are trapped timidly in the Bronze Age.&#0160;</p> <p>You can read the full transcript <a href="http://www.prweekus.com/parenting-roundtable-welcome-to-the-family/article/304009/" target="_blank">here</a>;&#0160;it features a picture of me looking as though I&#39;m explaining how to fit your head into a toaster oven.</p> <p>While I was there, I met a representative of the WWE who had come down from her feral tree dwelling (or whatever it is that WWE people live in) in Connecticut to see how she could work with parents to help showcase their mayhem. And a few weeks later, she offered to fly the boys and me to LA to see SummerSlam this weekend.</p> <p>I told her, straight up: I enjoyed Ric Flair and &quot;Superfly&quot; Snuka when I was a kid, but I haven&#39;t paid a lick of attention to pro wrestling since <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kv73yzYuE_M" target="_blank">Jerry Lawler bitch-slapped Andy Kaufman</a>. (My kids know even less; when I asked the 11yo about it, he said, &quot;that&#39;s where those huge guys pretend to beat the grickle-grass out of each other, right?&quot;) But I think that&#39;s part of her goal -- to reach out and grow the fan base among those who wouldn&#39;t know John Cena from John Sununu.</p> <p>(Note to self: There needs to be a reality show where those two guys swap jobs. CENUNU!)</p> <p>I decided to go for a few reasons. First and foremost, even though these donnybrooks are pure theater, they ain&#39;t fake. These are showmen and women who also happen to be incredible physical specimens that work their asses off to make it all look good.</p> <p>Second, I&#39;m told I&#39;ll hear a lot about the WWE&#39;s literacy programs, its anti-bullying efforts, its work with Make-A-Wish -- stuff you don&#39;t normally associate with a savage ballet of colliding Colossi, and just the sort of thing that parents should know more about. Stay tuned for that.</p> <p>Third, in a show of really great timing, John Cena handled himself masterfully when <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2013/08/15/john-cena-darren-young-gay-support-wwe/" target="_blank">TMZ ambushed him with the news that Darren Young had come out as a gay man</a>. The &quot;reporter&quot; tried to bait him with questions about how much trouble this would cause among the other wrestlers, and Cena was better than just diplomatically distant. He was proud and happy for him. I&#39;m not sure I&#39;ll get the chance to meet Cena, but if I do I&#39;ll be happy to shake his immense meathook of a hand.</p> <p>I also want to give the boys a glimpse at what exactly it is I manage to do for a living. They&#39;re still not quite sure why I&#39;m always home to greet them in the afternoon while all their other friends&#39; dads aren&#39;t, and yet I manage not to live under a bridge.&#0160;</p> <p>Mostly, though, I&#39;m doing it for the adventure. My kids are becoming harder to shake out of their summer routines lately, and I want to create a memory about having no idea what we&#39;re in for and saying, &quot;Screw it. Let&#39;s roll.&quot; We&#39;re headed out because an opportunity happened, and there is value in not dismissing everything as <em>completely lame</em>.</p> <p>We&#39;ll see how it goes. If they enjoy themselves, I&#39;m a hero who ignited their desire to seize opportunities and explore realms outside of what they think they know.</p> <p>And if they don&#39;t, I&#39;ll never pry them out of the house again.</p> <p>During the week after Father&#39;s Day, I took part in a roundtable discussion about marketing to parents that was organized by PR Week and featured a lot of PR people that I hope a lot of other PR people will listen to. The two parents were <a href="http://mom-101.com/" target="_blank">Liz Gumbinner</a> and me (which was fine by me, since I always come off smarter when I appear with Liz), and the result was a productive dialogue about what resonates with modern parents, and why so many advertising efforts are trapped timidly in the Bronze Age.&#0160;</p> <p>You can read the full transcript <a href="http://www.prweekus.com/parenting-roundtable-welcome-to-the-family/article/304009/" target="_blank">here</a>;&#0160;it features a picture of me looking as though I&#39;m explaining how to fit your head into a toaster oven.</p> <p>While I was there, I met a representative of the WWE who had come down from her feral tree dwelling (or whatever it is that WWE people live in) in Connecticut to see how she could work with parents to help showcase their mayhem. And a few weeks later, she offered to fly the boys and me to LA to see SummerSlam this weekend.</p> <p>I told her, straight up: I enjoyed Ric Flair and &quot;Superfly&quot; Snuka when I was a kid, but I haven&#39;t paid a lick of attention to pro wrestling since <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kv73yzYuE_M" target="_blank">Jerry Lawler bitch-slapped Andy Kaufman</a>. (My kids know even less; when I asked the 11yo about it, he said, &quot;that&#39;s where those huge guys pretend to beat the grickle-grass out of each other, right?&quot;) But I think that&#39;s part of her goal -- to reach out and grow the fan base among those who wouldn&#39;t know John Cena from John Sununu.</p> <p>(Note to self: There needs to be a reality show where those two guys swap jobs. CENUNU!)</p> <p>I decided to go for a few reasons. First and foremost, even though these donnybrooks are pure theater, they ain&#39;t fake. These are showmen and women who also happen to be incredible physical specimens that work their asses off to make it all look good.</p> <p>Second, I&#39;m told I&#39;ll hear a lot about the WWE&#39;s literacy programs, its anti-bullying efforts, its work with Make-A-Wish -- stuff you don&#39;t normally associate with a savage ballet of colliding Colossi, and just the sort of thing that parents should know more about. Stay tuned for that.</p> <p>Third, in a show of really great timing, John Cena handled himself masterfully when <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2013/08/15/john-cena-darren-young-gay-support-wwe/" target="_blank">TMZ ambushed him with the news that Darren Young had come out as a gay man</a>. The &quot;reporter&quot; tried to bait him with questions about how much trouble this would cause among the other wrestlers, and Cena was better than just diplomatically distant. He was proud and happy for him. I&#39;m not sure I&#39;ll get the chance to meet Cena, but if I do I&#39;ll be happy to shake his immense meathook of a hand.</p> <p>I also want to give the boys a glimpse at what exactly it is I manage to do for a living. They&#39;re still not quite sure why I&#39;m always home to greet them in the afternoon while all their other friends&#39; dads aren&#39;t, and yet I manage not to live under a bridge.&#0160;</p> <p>Mostly, though, I&#39;m doing it for the adventure. My kids are becoming harder to shake out of their summer routines lately, and I want to create a memory about having no idea what we&#39;re in for and saying, &quot;Screw it. Let&#39;s roll.&quot; We&#39;re headed out because an opportunity happened, and there is value in not dismissing everything as <em>completely lame</em>.</p> <p>We&#39;ll see how it goes. If they enjoy themselves, I&#39;m a hero who ignited their desire to seize opportunities and explore realms outside of what they think they know.</p> <p>And if they don&#39;t, I&#39;ll never pry them out of the house again.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201910497c50c970c Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-08-05T18:22:24Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e20192ac60950f970dTesticular particularshttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-08-05T18:22:24Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>A lot has been going on since that last post. I&#39;m glad it received the attention it did, and there&#39;s definitely a follow-up or two in the making. There&#39;s also the small matter of the 3,288 miles the Three French Men logged on our four-week Atlanti-ganza.&#0160;Until then, though, there&#39;s much more important business afoot. </p> <p>It&#39;s <strong>Man UP Monday</strong>, and it&#39;s time to talk about happy balls. </p> <div> <a class="asset-img-link" href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e20192ac60acaf970d-pi" style="float: left;"><img alt="Photo" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a00d83451b3fc69e20192ac60acaf970d" src="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e20192ac60acaf970d-200wi" style="width: 205px; margin: 5px 5px 5px 0px;" title="Photo" /></a></div> <div>Right now, Castle Frenchington is home to six of the happiest balls around. That&#39;s mostly because my sons are 11 and 8, when any talk about testicles is hiLARious. And because, as of my last physical, my testicles don&#39;t have any insidious scrotal roommates.</div> <div> <p>Most boys learn early on how vulnerable their balls are, but it&#39;s usually after a swift, undefended blow (and about an hour of fetal bargaining). It&#39;s easy to talk to your sons about the importance of cups and jockstraps, but discussions about lumps and cancer are at best <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jim-higley/testicular-cancer-_b_2398387.html" target="_blank">awkward</a>, and at worst ignored entirely.</p> <p>That&#39;s why I&#39;m proud to support my friend <a href="http://bobbleheaddad.com" target="_blank">Jim Higley</a> and serve as a member&#0160;of the&#0160;<a href="http://singlejingles.org/" target="_blank">Team Single Jingles</a>&#0160;<strong>Man UP&#0160;Monday</strong> parent blogging team. I want to do my part and&#0160;spread important messages about testicular cancer. For example, did you know that:&#0160;</p> <ul> <li>Testicular cancer&#0160;is the&#0160;<a href="http://singlejingles.org/what-is-tc/" target="_blank">#1 cancer in young men</a>&#0160;aged 15 to 35;</li> <li>Testicular cancer is highly survivable is&#0160;<a href="http://singlejingles.org/what-is-tc/another-test/" target="_blank">detected</a>&#0160;early; and</li> <li>Young men should be doing a&#0160;<a href="http://singlejingles.org/beat-tc/" target="_blank">monthly self-exam</a>?</li> </ul> </div> <div> <a class="asset-img-link" href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e201910497a08e970c-pi" style="float: right;"><img alt="TCF-ParentBlogger-badge-SQUARE-150px150px" border="0" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a00d83451b3fc69e201910497a08e970c" src="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e201910497a08e970c-800wi" style="margin: 0px 0px 5px 5px;" title="TCF-ParentBlogger-badge-SQUARE-150px150px" /></a>If you&#39;re a parent of boys, they need to know that their own boys are more vulnerable than they think. If you stop by the&#0160;<a href="http://singlejingles.org/" target="_blank">Testicular Cancer Foundation</a> website, you can find a lot more information about testicular cancer. You can also request a&#0160;<a href="http://singlejingles.org/get-shower-cards/" target="_blank"><strong>FREE</strong>&#0160;shower card</a>&#0160;with self-exam instructions - it just might save a young man in your life. <p>I had a quick talk with my older son about this, and after the initial sniggering, he processed it all pretty quickly. We talked through a few aspects of self-exams, and he said, &quot;Any extra grapes in the sack, and I tell you or Mom. Got it.&quot;</p> <p>I love this boy. He&#39;s a big fan of the bottom line.</p> </div> <p>A lot has been going on since that last post. I&#39;m glad it received the attention it did, and there&#39;s definitely a follow-up or two in the making. There&#39;s also the small matter of the 3,288 miles the Three French Men logged on our four-week Atlanti-ganza.&#0160;Until then, though, there&#39;s much more important business afoot. </p> <p>It&#39;s <strong>Man UP Monday</strong>, and it&#39;s time to talk about happy balls. </p> <div> <a class="asset-img-link" href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e20192ac60acaf970d-pi" style="float: left;"><img alt="Photo" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a00d83451b3fc69e20192ac60acaf970d" src="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e20192ac60acaf970d-200wi" style="width: 205px; margin: 5px 5px 5px 0px;" title="Photo" /></a></div> <div>Right now, Castle Frenchington is home to six of the happiest balls around. That&#39;s mostly because my sons are 11 and 8, when any talk about testicles is hiLARious. And because, as of my last physical, my testicles don&#39;t have any insidious scrotal roommates.</div> <div> <p>Most boys learn early on how vulnerable their balls are, but it&#39;s usually after a swift, undefended blow (and about an hour of fetal bargaining). It&#39;s easy to talk to your sons about the importance of cups and jockstraps, but discussions about lumps and cancer are at best <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jim-higley/testicular-cancer-_b_2398387.html" target="_blank">awkward</a>, and at worst ignored entirely.</p> <p>That&#39;s why I&#39;m proud to support my friend <a href="http://bobbleheaddad.com" target="_blank">Jim Higley</a> and serve as a member&#0160;of the&#0160;<a href="http://singlejingles.org/" target="_blank">Team Single Jingles</a>&#0160;<strong>Man UP&#0160;Monday</strong> parent blogging team. I want to do my part and&#0160;spread important messages about testicular cancer. For example, did you know that:&#0160;</p> <ul> <li>Testicular cancer&#0160;is the&#0160;<a href="http://singlejingles.org/what-is-tc/" target="_blank">#1 cancer in young men</a>&#0160;aged 15 to 35;</li> <li>Testicular cancer is highly survivable is&#0160;<a href="http://singlejingles.org/what-is-tc/another-test/" target="_blank">detected</a>&#0160;early; and</li> <li>Young men should be doing a&#0160;<a href="http://singlejingles.org/beat-tc/" target="_blank">monthly self-exam</a>?</li> </ul> </div> <div> <a class="asset-img-link" href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e201910497a08e970c-pi" style="float: right;"><img alt="TCF-ParentBlogger-badge-SQUARE-150px150px" border="0" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a00d83451b3fc69e201910497a08e970c" src="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e201910497a08e970c-800wi" style="margin: 0px 0px 5px 5px;" title="TCF-ParentBlogger-badge-SQUARE-150px150px" /></a>If you&#39;re a parent of boys, they need to know that their own boys are more vulnerable than they think. If you stop by the&#0160;<a href="http://singlejingles.org/" target="_blank">Testicular Cancer Foundation</a> website, you can find a lot more information about testicular cancer. You can also request a&#0160;<a href="http://singlejingles.org/get-shower-cards/" target="_blank"><strong>FREE</strong>&#0160;shower card</a>&#0160;with self-exam instructions - it just might save a young man in your life. <p>I had a quick talk with my older son about this, and after the initial sniggering, he processed it all pretty quickly. We talked through a few aspects of self-exams, and he said, &quot;Any extra grapes in the sack, and I tell you or Mom. Got it.&quot;</p> <p>I love this boy. He&#39;s a big fan of the bottom line.</p> </div>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2019104100be2970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-07-03T11:29:09Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2019104100be0970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-07-03T11:29:09Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201901e15201b970b Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-07-02T14:35:44Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201901e152019970bhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-07-02T14:35:44Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchOf the girls, by the girls, and for the girlstag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201910407eb35970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-07-01T20:06:23Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201910407eb34970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-07-01T20:06:23Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201901e11e267970b Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-07-01T19:43:49Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201901e11e265970bhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-07-01T19:43:48Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e20192abcdf57c970d Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-07-01T02:10:35Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e20192abcdf57b970dhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-07-01T02:10:35Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201910403fd32970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-30T21:25:54Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201910403fd30970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-06-30T21:25:54Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201910403c8cf970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-30T20:36:38Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201910403c8cc970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-06-30T20:36:38Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e20192abccb916970d Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-30T20:00:08Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e20192abccb912970dhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-06-30T20:00:08Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201910403822f970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-30T19:54:37Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201910403822e970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-06-30T19:54:37Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201901e0c9355970b Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-30T17:25:16Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201901e0c9354970bhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-06-30T17:25:16Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201910401e7d6970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-30T15:49:10Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201910401e7d4970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-06-30T15:49:10Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e20192abcb031e970d Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-30T15:37:44Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e20192abcb031d970dhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-06-30T15:37:44Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e20192abcadfd4970d Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-30T15:17:52Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e20192abcadfd1970dhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-06-30T15:17:52Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2019104018118970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-30T14:45:27Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2019104018116970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-06-30T14:45:27Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e20191040141d3970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-30T14:07:38Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e20191040141d1970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-06-30T14:07:38Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201901e0b343f970b Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-30T13:53:58Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201901e0b343e970bhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-06-30T13:53:58Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e20192abca3378970d Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-30T13:28:48Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e20192abca3376970dhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-06-30T13:28:47Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201910400be1d970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-30T12:43:59Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201910400be1c970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-06-30T12:43:59Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e20192abb32d44970d Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-28T05:20:09Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2019103d11e63970cOf the girls, by the girls, and for the girlshttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-06-28T05:20:09Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>Last week, my 11yo participated in a &quot;completion&quot; ceremony at his elementary school. I say this to the school&#39;s credit, because there was no mention of <em>graduation</em> anywhere. There was no circumstance, and only a few ounces of pomp<em>.</em>&#0160;Just a gymatorium lined with folding chairs, certificates printed on mid-grade card stock, and a maudlin slide show with a Phil Collins-saturated soundtrack.&#0160;</p> <p>Oh, yes. And speeches.</p> <p>The principal said some things, some alumni said some more things, the teachers rephrased those previous things, and six students came up one by one to say things in a disarmingly precocious way.</p> <p>I love the idea of inviting members of the grade to write a brief speech and then deliver it in front of a large crowd. Public speaking is an important skill that builds organized thought and feeds self-esteem, and anyone allowed to do so, especially at this young age, gets a strong leg up toward understanding how crucial it is to be able to present ideas cogently before an audience.</p> <p>The thing is, they chose six kids to speak from the 53 in the class. And all six were girls.</p> <p>I mentioned this to my son&#39;s teacher, and she sheepishly replied that the boys&#39; speeches were all a little &quot;scattered.&quot; (At first I thought she said &quot;scatological,&quot; which made all kinds of sense.) But then I had to fight hard to keep it together when the large annoyance balloon burst in my head.</p> <p>First of all, so what? I mean, I get that these speeches serve as marketing to the parents that &quot;Look what a great job we did educating your kids!&quot; But does every one of them have to read like Churchill during the blitz? Will the Earth wobble off its axis if a fifth-grader&#39;s 200 words don&#39;t have a taut throughline?&#0160;</p> <p>And even if most of the boys&#39; essays were lacking, was it too much trouble to sit down with a couple of the more promising authors and work with them to craft speeches that were more presentable? Are we teaching our kids, or merely evaluating them?</p> <p>I&#39;m surprised to realize how ticked off I still am about this, over a week after the fact. I think it sent a crappy message to the boys that they don&#39;t measure up, and it&#39;s put me on my guard to look for warning signs that either of my sons is becoming educationally discouraged.</p> <p>Boys are having a hard enough time keeping up in an educational system that is failing them. Many of them don&#39;t even have a male teacher until they&#39;re teenagers. They&#39;re learning that education is <em>the girls&#39; thing</em>, along with responsibility, nurturing, and other characteristics of adulthood, while males are more aligned with wreaking havoc and creating messes that the girls will clean up.</p> <p>I&#39;m not saying that stereotype isn&#39;t true. But we&#39;re doing everything we can to perpetuate it, and if we want it to stop, and help mold better men and better dads, where better to shift the perception than when the kids&#39; brains are young and squishy?</p> <p>Last week, my 11yo participated in a &quot;completion&quot; ceremony at his elementary school. I say this to the school&#39;s credit, because there was no mention of <em>graduation</em> anywhere. There was no circumstance, and only a few ounces of pomp<em>.</em>&#0160;Just a gymatorium lined with folding chairs, certificates printed on mid-grade card stock, and a maudlin slide show with a Phil Collins-saturated soundtrack.&#0160;</p> <p>Oh, yes. And speeches.</p> <p>The principal said some things, some alumni said some more things, the teachers rephrased those previous things, and six students came up one by one to say things in a disarmingly precocious way.</p> <p>I love the idea of inviting members of the grade to write a brief speech and then deliver it in front of a large crowd. Public speaking is an important skill that builds organized thought and feeds self-esteem, and anyone allowed to do so, especially at this young age, gets a strong leg up toward understanding how crucial it is to be able to present ideas cogently before an audience.</p> <p>The thing is, they chose six kids to speak from the 53 in the class. And all six were girls.</p> <p>I mentioned this to my son&#39;s teacher, and she sheepishly replied that the boys&#39; speeches were all a little &quot;scattered.&quot; (At first I thought she said &quot;scatological,&quot; which made all kinds of sense.) But then I had to fight hard to keep it together when the large annoyance balloon burst in my head.</p> <p>First of all, so what? I mean, I get that these speeches serve as marketing to the parents that &quot;Look what a great job we did educating your kids!&quot; But does every one of them have to read like Churchill during the blitz? Will the Earth wobble off its axis if a fifth-grader&#39;s 200 words don&#39;t have a taut throughline?&#0160;</p> <p>And even if most of the boys&#39; essays were lacking, was it too much trouble to sit down with a couple of the more promising authors and work with them to craft speeches that were more presentable? Are we teaching our kids, or merely evaluating them?</p> <p>I&#39;m surprised to realize how ticked off I still am about this, over a week after the fact. I think it sent a crappy message to the boys that they don&#39;t measure up, and it&#39;s put me on my guard to look for warning signs that either of my sons is becoming educationally discouraged.</p> <p>Boys are having a hard enough time keeping up in an educational system that is failing them. Many of them don&#39;t even have a male teacher until they&#39;re teenagers. They&#39;re learning that education is <em>the girls&#39; thing</em>, along with responsibility, nurturing, and other characteristics of adulthood, while males are more aligned with wreaking havoc and creating messes that the girls will clean up.</p> <p>I&#39;m not saying that stereotype isn&#39;t true. But we&#39;re doing everything we can to perpetuate it, and if we want it to stop, and help mold better men and better dads, where better to shift the perception than when the kids&#39; brains are young and squishy?</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2019102f3ee30970c Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-06-04T22:26:08Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e20192aabb22e5970dAn imperfect tenhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-06-04T22:26:08Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>Over the weekend, something noteworthy happened: This blog <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2003/06/be_careful_what.html" target="_blank">turned ten years old</a>. </p> <p>Decile anniversaries have their purpose, I suppose. They make us stop swimming long enough to look up and assess where we are in the ocean, whether we&#39;ve made any progress or been swept off course by the riptide. And when you&#39;re a Man Of A Certain Age (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1242441/" target="_blank">a show</a> I still miss), it&#39;s common to think about how many strokes you have left in you, before the inevitable time comes when the best you can manage is to ride with the current.</p> <p>I&#39;m happy to say I&#39;m not there yet. I bring up the whole swimming thing, though, because yesterday I began physical therapy on my left shoulder, which recently has decided not to let me swim freestyle (or open a car door) without sending shooting pains down my arm. From what we&#39;ve figured out, these pains come directly from hunching over a laptop and staring at my phone (which I usually hold in my left hand). As of now, since it&#39;s an unnamed thing that is affecting my rotator cuff, I&#39;m applying for a trademark on &quot;French Cuff Syndrome.&quot; Look for me on a fearmongering medical website near you!</p> <p>So, yes. I&#39;m still swimming, even though it stings like a bitch. And when I noticed that my blog was 10, two thoughts occurred to me.</p> <ul> <li>I&#39;ve been blogging for longer than I was married, suggesting a phrase like <em>blog longa, matrimonia brevis</em>, which I just made up.</li> <li>On the same day as my blog&#39;s birthday, June 1st, my older son mowed my lawn for the first time.</li> </ul> <p>When I began this blog, in the dark days of clam-shell phones and TVs as deep as a mini-fridge, R was 15 months old. He was nursing, <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2003/06/exodus.html" target="_blank">grappling with object impermanence</a>, and had progressed from mere walking to a type of &quot;speed waddling&quot; that most closely resembled &quot;<a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2003/06/walkabout.html" target="_blank">Fred Sanford with a pressing appointment</a>.&quot; And now, that winsome little pip was <a href="http://instagram.com/p/aEM7R8Cx12/" target="_blank">maneuvering a 50-pound mulching mower</a>. Like a BOSS.</p> <p>The stock response in situations like this might be to lament lost time, crank up <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTFHwTKWawU" target="_blank">Time Stand Still</a>, and rage against the dying of the light (<a href="https://twitter.com/LOD/status/341031825432510464" target="_blank">which I do enough of, anyway</a>). But I didn&#39;t feel that way at all.</p> <p>I felt joyful. Because throughout these ten years, as he and his brother have grown from larvae to tweenolescents, I&#39;ve been with them. For all of it. I&#39;ve left jobs and a marriage and New York all behind, but my touchstones are still the boys and this blog. I love all three of them, they nurture and define my life, and I can&#39;t imagine the person I&#39;d be without them.&#0160;</p> <p>I&#39;m very happy, ten years on, that I don&#39;t have to.</p> <p>Over the weekend, something noteworthy happened: This blog <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2003/06/be_careful_what.html" target="_blank">turned ten years old</a>. </p> <p>Decile anniversaries have their purpose, I suppose. They make us stop swimming long enough to look up and assess where we are in the ocean, whether we&#39;ve made any progress or been swept off course by the riptide. And when you&#39;re a Man Of A Certain Age (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1242441/" target="_blank">a show</a> I still miss), it&#39;s common to think about how many strokes you have left in you, before the inevitable time comes when the best you can manage is to ride with the current.</p> <p>I&#39;m happy to say I&#39;m not there yet. I bring up the whole swimming thing, though, because yesterday I began physical therapy on my left shoulder, which recently has decided not to let me swim freestyle (or open a car door) without sending shooting pains down my arm. From what we&#39;ve figured out, these pains come directly from hunching over a laptop and staring at my phone (which I usually hold in my left hand). As of now, since it&#39;s an unnamed thing that is affecting my rotator cuff, I&#39;m applying for a trademark on &quot;French Cuff Syndrome.&quot; Look for me on a fearmongering medical website near you!</p> <p>So, yes. I&#39;m still swimming, even though it stings like a bitch. And when I noticed that my blog was 10, two thoughts occurred to me.</p> <ul> <li>I&#39;ve been blogging for longer than I was married, suggesting a phrase like <em>blog longa, matrimonia brevis</em>, which I just made up.</li> <li>On the same day as my blog&#39;s birthday, June 1st, my older son mowed my lawn for the first time.</li> </ul> <p>When I began this blog, in the dark days of clam-shell phones and TVs as deep as a mini-fridge, R was 15 months old. He was nursing, <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2003/06/exodus.html" target="_blank">grappling with object impermanence</a>, and had progressed from mere walking to a type of &quot;speed waddling&quot; that most closely resembled &quot;<a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2003/06/walkabout.html" target="_blank">Fred Sanford with a pressing appointment</a>.&quot; And now, that winsome little pip was <a href="http://instagram.com/p/aEM7R8Cx12/" target="_blank">maneuvering a 50-pound mulching mower</a>. Like a BOSS.</p> <p>The stock response in situations like this might be to lament lost time, crank up <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTFHwTKWawU" target="_blank">Time Stand Still</a>, and rage against the dying of the light (<a href="https://twitter.com/LOD/status/341031825432510464" target="_blank">which I do enough of, anyway</a>). But I didn&#39;t feel that way at all.</p> <p>I felt joyful. Because throughout these ten years, as he and his brother have grown from larvae to tweenolescents, I&#39;ve been with them. For all of it. I&#39;ve left jobs and a marriage and New York all behind, but my touchstones are still the boys and this blog. I love all three of them, they nurture and define my life, and I can&#39;t imagine the person I&#39;d be without them.&#0160;</p> <p>I&#39;m very happy, ten years on, that I don&#39;t have to.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201910218351d970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-05-13T18:36:24Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201910218351c970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-05-13T18:36:24Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e201901c1cb5a2970b Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-05-13T05:05:00Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e201901c1ad5ac970bWith many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenusehttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-05-12T23:59:00Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>Today is 5/12/13, so to all those moms out there, happy Pythagoras Day! And I know what you&#39;re thinking. It&#39;s a shame that a cruel twist of the calendar would cause Mother&#39;s Day to be overshadowed by our culture&#39;s universal love of geometry.&#0160;</p> <p>I have nothing against Mother&#39;s Day, personally. I&#39;m all for honoring mom, and for giving consumer spending another artificial kick in the pants. I&#39;m all for calling my own mom, to tell her I love her and to please stop voting Republican. I support breakfast in bed, clayed handprints, crayoned love notes, cuddles, kisses, all of it. Motherhood is sacred, and essential, and America, and YES.</p> <p>But there are two reasons it leaves me ambivalent. For one, I really hope that one day Father&#39;s Day can be as big a deal. (Or at least bigger than &quot;Hey, it&#39;s June. Let&#39;s move some pliers.&quot;) And I don&#39;t want a handout, either. I want us to earn it, to deserve it, to knock our brains out being the dads our kids need. </p> <p>Some days, though, the idea seems elusive. I have alerts set up for as much fatherly news as Lord Google can find, and a lot of the stories aren&#39;t all that encouraging. You can read only so many headlines about dads with phrases like &quot;shoots son in the liver&quot; and &quot;robs area convenience store&quot; and &quot;<a href="http://waukesha.patch.com/articles/boy-watches-porn-on-dad-s-phone-topper-s-pizza-quest-ends-in-owi" target="_blank">watches p0rn on Dad&#39;s phone</a>&quot; before you start muttering to yourself, &quot;C&#39;mon, you jags. Do better.&quot;</p> <p>Mother&#39;s Day also reminds me of how much of a drag it is not to be in love with the mother of my kids.&#0160;But I really can&#39;t complain (much). Things with Moxie are pretty okay right now. We&#39;re friendly, and we see eye-to-eye on most things when it comes to the boys, and that&#39;s a lot more than I can say for several friends, whose marriages have blown apart terribly (or are about to). It&#39;s just that building a life with someone was one of my primary life goals (even though I had absolutely no idea how to do it), and having failed will always be that little bit of sand in the underpants that won&#39;t ever fully rinse away.</p> <p>I like Pythagoras Day because, unlike life, his theorem is simple, elegant, and eminently provable. Fitting that his day only comes around 11 times per century.</p> <p>Today is 5/12/13, so to all those moms out there, happy Pythagoras Day! And I know what you&#39;re thinking. It&#39;s a shame that a cruel twist of the calendar would cause Mother&#39;s Day to be overshadowed by our culture&#39;s universal love of geometry.&#0160;</p> <p>I have nothing against Mother&#39;s Day, personally. I&#39;m all for honoring mom, and for giving consumer spending another artificial kick in the pants. I&#39;m all for calling my own mom, to tell her I love her and to please stop voting Republican. I support breakfast in bed, clayed handprints, crayoned love notes, cuddles, kisses, all of it. Motherhood is sacred, and essential, and America, and YES.</p> <p>But there are two reasons it leaves me ambivalent. For one, I really hope that one day Father&#39;s Day can be as big a deal. (Or at least bigger than &quot;Hey, it&#39;s June. Let&#39;s move some pliers.&quot;) And I don&#39;t want a handout, either. I want us to earn it, to deserve it, to knock our brains out being the dads our kids need. </p> <p>Some days, though, the idea seems elusive. I have alerts set up for as much fatherly news as Lord Google can find, and a lot of the stories aren&#39;t all that encouraging. You can read only so many headlines about dads with phrases like &quot;shoots son in the liver&quot; and &quot;robs area convenience store&quot; and &quot;<a href="http://waukesha.patch.com/articles/boy-watches-porn-on-dad-s-phone-topper-s-pizza-quest-ends-in-owi" target="_blank">watches p0rn on Dad&#39;s phone</a>&quot; before you start muttering to yourself, &quot;C&#39;mon, you jags. Do better.&quot;</p> <p>Mother&#39;s Day also reminds me of how much of a drag it is not to be in love with the mother of my kids.&#0160;But I really can&#39;t complain (much). Things with Moxie are pretty okay right now. We&#39;re friendly, and we see eye-to-eye on most things when it comes to the boys, and that&#39;s a lot more than I can say for several friends, whose marriages have blown apart terribly (or are about to). It&#39;s just that building a life with someone was one of my primary life goals (even though I had absolutely no idea how to do it), and having failed will always be that little bit of sand in the underpants that won&#39;t ever fully rinse away.</p> <p>I like Pythagoras Day because, unlike life, his theorem is simple, elegant, and eminently provable. Fitting that his day only comes around 11 times per century.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017d4323b93d970c Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-04-26T16:27:19Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017eea921e19970dThe kindness of strangershttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-04-26T16:27:19Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>This week, in spiteful defiance of a winter that outlived its welcome months ago, we held our Cub Scout meeting outdoors at a nearby playground. The boys were learning the very important Life Lessons that:</p> <ol> <li>picking up litter is a very important expression of civic duty, and</li> <li>many people are careless slobs who drink booze and fornicate near children&#39;s playgrounds.</li> </ol> <p>When we arrived, the boys spent about 20 minutes running and yelping and climbing all the things. And just as we were settling down for our meeting, a 30ish woman with a troubled expression and arms crossed firmly across her chest came over to our picnic table and asked to speak with me.</p> <p>If you&#39;ve ever spent time on the playground with your kid, you know it&#39;s never good when a stranger parent asks for a word. I learned this on some of the tonier NYC playgrounds that are infested with over-earnest helicopter parents devoted to sheltering their children from conflict. So when she pulled me aside, I braced for the worst.</p> <p>&quot;I just want you to know that I&#39;m very emotional right now, because I&#39;m three months pregnant,&quot; she began. &quot;If I start crying, I&#39;m sorry in advance.&quot;</p> <p>Noted. And so we ratchet up to DEFCON 3.</p> <p>&quot;I just wanted to say that I saw these boys all playing together near the climbing structure, and when my son tried to join in, they all said, &#39;No, you can&#39;t play with us, because we&#39;re all Cub Scouts and <em>you&#39;re not</em>.&quot;</p> <p>(Emphasis mine, to indicate that as she finished that sentence the tears began pouring forth.)</p> <p>&quot;But your <em>son</em> ... [sob] ... was the only <em>one</em> of them ... [sniffle] ... who said it was <em>OK</em> and ... <em>welcomed</em> him into the group.&quot;</p> <p>I processed this as my buttcheeks slowly de-clenched.</p> <p>&quot;Your son was just ... [sob, sniffle] ... so <em>kind</em>. <em>Thank</em> you!&quot;</p> <p>I have a sense that you could be thinking, in your best Chandler Bing voice, &quot;Could this post BE any more self-indulgent?&quot; And I get that. But I&#39;m writing about it anyway, in part because my sons spend a lot of time being unkind to each other, and it&#39;s a relief to see them revert to Jekyll Mode when civilians are involved.</p> <p>I&#39;m also not in a place to crow too loudly, since I&#39;m not only just half of this parenting effort; I&#39;m almost completely removed from the other half.</p> <p>Mostly, though, this conversation is sticking with me because it was such a nice surprise. In this era of highfalutin parenting opinions, parents have become experts in bitching about What Your Kid Did. And at the end of a&#0160;particularly trying day, there really is no better selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor than having a complete stranger approach you out of the blue to tell you you&#39;re doing something -- <em>any</em>thing -- right.</p> <p>So I guess what I&#39;m saying is, if your mood has been befouled by the truly nasty detritus that some lazy jagwagon left 10 feet from a trash can, there&#39;s nothing like a sweet, emotionally unstable, incipient mother of four to help balance things out.</p> <p>This week, in spiteful defiance of a winter that outlived its welcome months ago, we held our Cub Scout meeting outdoors at a nearby playground. The boys were learning the very important Life Lessons that:</p> <ol> <li>picking up litter is a very important expression of civic duty, and</li> <li>many people are careless slobs who drink booze and fornicate near children&#39;s playgrounds.</li> </ol> <p>When we arrived, the boys spent about 20 minutes running and yelping and climbing all the things. And just as we were settling down for our meeting, a 30ish woman with a troubled expression and arms crossed firmly across her chest came over to our picnic table and asked to speak with me.</p> <p>If you&#39;ve ever spent time on the playground with your kid, you know it&#39;s never good when a stranger parent asks for a word. I learned this on some of the tonier NYC playgrounds that are infested with over-earnest helicopter parents devoted to sheltering their children from conflict. So when she pulled me aside, I braced for the worst.</p> <p>&quot;I just want you to know that I&#39;m very emotional right now, because I&#39;m three months pregnant,&quot; she began. &quot;If I start crying, I&#39;m sorry in advance.&quot;</p> <p>Noted. And so we ratchet up to DEFCON 3.</p> <p>&quot;I just wanted to say that I saw these boys all playing together near the climbing structure, and when my son tried to join in, they all said, &#39;No, you can&#39;t play with us, because we&#39;re all Cub Scouts and <em>you&#39;re not</em>.&quot;</p> <p>(Emphasis mine, to indicate that as she finished that sentence the tears began pouring forth.)</p> <p>&quot;But your <em>son</em> ... [sob] ... was the only <em>one</em> of them ... [sniffle] ... who said it was <em>OK</em> and ... <em>welcomed</em> him into the group.&quot;</p> <p>I processed this as my buttcheeks slowly de-clenched.</p> <p>&quot;Your son was just ... [sob, sniffle] ... so <em>kind</em>. <em>Thank</em> you!&quot;</p> <p>I have a sense that you could be thinking, in your best Chandler Bing voice, &quot;Could this post BE any more self-indulgent?&quot; And I get that. But I&#39;m writing about it anyway, in part because my sons spend a lot of time being unkind to each other, and it&#39;s a relief to see them revert to Jekyll Mode when civilians are involved.</p> <p>I&#39;m also not in a place to crow too loudly, since I&#39;m not only just half of this parenting effort; I&#39;m almost completely removed from the other half.</p> <p>Mostly, though, this conversation is sticking with me because it was such a nice surprise. In this era of highfalutin parenting opinions, parents have become experts in bitching about What Your Kid Did. And at the end of a&#0160;particularly trying day, there really is no better selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor than having a complete stranger approach you out of the blue to tell you you&#39;re doing something -- <em>any</em>thing -- right.</p> <p>So I guess what I&#39;m saying is, if your mood has been befouled by the truly nasty detritus that some lazy jagwagon left 10 feet from a trash can, there&#39;s nothing like a sweet, emotionally unstable, incipient mother of four to help balance things out.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017d42e1af02970c Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-04-17T17:39:15Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017d42da134f970cOff the railshttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-04-17T17:39:15Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>For a while now, I&#39;ve been thinking about why I haven&#39;t been writing. And <em>a while&#0160;</em>is about as benign a term as I can conjure, because a while is of such indeterminate length. <em>A while&#0160;</em>can be half an hour while you&#39;re waiting for someone to pick you up at the airport, but it&#39;s also been <em>a while</em>&#0160;since the last Olympics.</p> <p> My writing drought has skewed toward the latter. On Monday, however, I had a bit of a breakthrough.&#0160;</p> <p>I was over at Moxie&#39;s, picking up TwoBert for his Cub Scout meeting, when she and I began discussing the Boston bombings. Since we hadn&#39;t talked about them with the boys yet, we were speaking as obliquely as possible, especially about contact we&#39;d had with people in the Boston area. (&quot;Everyone&#39;s fine.&quot; &quot;I hear one was only 8.&quot; &quot;No word yet about Why or How.&quot;)</p> <p>And then the 11yo said, &quot;Are you guys talking about the bombings in Boston today?&quot;</p> <p>Because of course the story was discussed in school, and he&#39;d had the chance to digest this latest abomination before he&#39;d had any interaction with us.</p> <p>That seems like the crux of my problem right now, something bigger than how my sons are already desensitizing themselves from the string of deranged, craven assholes determined to kill innocents. When such high-profile violence occurs, a parent&#39;s instinct is to figure out how to Discuss It With The Kids. But in this case, someone else had discussed it with them first. </p> <p>Our ability to control how our kids experience the world is slipping away.</p> <p>Yes, that&#39;s an exceedingly maudlin thing to write. It&#39;s also completely inaccurate, since so many of us persevere by deluding ourselves into thinking we have more control than we do. I liked to think my divorce and all those job layoffs inured me to life&#39;s transience, but the one constant has been that my kids need me to shelter them from this world that is <a href="http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/19415" target="_blank">more full of weeping than they can understand</a>. They still do, but not as much. And as this trend continues, it won&#39;t be long until my sons are adolescents and I become a complete idiot.</p> <p>Parenting is becoming more complicated. My learning curve is steepening. And it&#39;s odd to think I&#39;m losing control of the last thing I ever thought I could control, even though I know intellectually that I was never in control in the first place.</p> <p>I think I need to go to the gym and overthink this some more.</p> <p>For a while now, I&#39;ve been thinking about why I haven&#39;t been writing. And <em>a while&#0160;</em>is about as benign a term as I can conjure, because a while is of such indeterminate length. <em>A while&#0160;</em>can be half an hour while you&#39;re waiting for someone to pick you up at the airport, but it&#39;s also been <em>a while</em>&#0160;since the last Olympics.</p> <p> My writing drought has skewed toward the latter. On Monday, however, I had a bit of a breakthrough.&#0160;</p> <p>I was over at Moxie&#39;s, picking up TwoBert for his Cub Scout meeting, when she and I began discussing the Boston bombings. Since we hadn&#39;t talked about them with the boys yet, we were speaking as obliquely as possible, especially about contact we&#39;d had with people in the Boston area. (&quot;Everyone&#39;s fine.&quot; &quot;I hear one was only 8.&quot; &quot;No word yet about Why or How.&quot;)</p> <p>And then the 11yo said, &quot;Are you guys talking about the bombings in Boston today?&quot;</p> <p>Because of course the story was discussed in school, and he&#39;d had the chance to digest this latest abomination before he&#39;d had any interaction with us.</p> <p>That seems like the crux of my problem right now, something bigger than how my sons are already desensitizing themselves from the string of deranged, craven assholes determined to kill innocents. When such high-profile violence occurs, a parent&#39;s instinct is to figure out how to Discuss It With The Kids. But in this case, someone else had discussed it with them first. </p> <p>Our ability to control how our kids experience the world is slipping away.</p> <p>Yes, that&#39;s an exceedingly maudlin thing to write. It&#39;s also completely inaccurate, since so many of us persevere by deluding ourselves into thinking we have more control than we do. I liked to think my divorce and all those job layoffs inured me to life&#39;s transience, but the one constant has been that my kids need me to shelter them from this world that is <a href="http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/19415" target="_blank">more full of weeping than they can understand</a>. They still do, but not as much. And as this trend continues, it won&#39;t be long until my sons are adolescents and I become a complete idiot.</p> <p>Parenting is becoming more complicated. My learning curve is steepening. And it&#39;s odd to think I&#39;m losing control of the last thing I ever thought I could control, even though I know intellectually that I was never in control in the first place.</p> <p>I think I need to go to the gym and overthink this some more.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017c3766c9bb970b Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-03-08T01:12:34Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017c3766c9b6970bhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-03-08T01:12:34Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017d4193374b970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-03-07T16:58:46Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017d41933749970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-03-07T16:58:46Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017d41933445970c Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-03-07T16:56:50Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017d41933444970chttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2013-03-07T16:56:50Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017ee9002597970d Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-03-06T20:39:01Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017c375cb952970bJustice is balancehttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-03-06T20:39:01Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>It&#39;s Wednesday, which means 1) the boys will arrive later today for the dadportion of their week, and 2) I&#39;ve spent most of my morning eradicating all the evidence of my debauched, kid-free bachelorhood. I may raise some eyebrows when I say this, but I truly believe responsible parenting means rinsing <em>all</em> that caked vomit out of the drapes and recovering <em>every</em> bullet casing -- even the ones that roll under the fridge -- in order to be the best role model I can be.</p> <p>As I was gathering up all the undergarments and drug paraphernalia from the grotto, I found myself thinking about work/life balance. It&#39;s been a huge topic among moms forever, but in this time of elevated expectations, dads are feeling it, too. I wish I could write more about it, but the truth is I&#39;m terribly unqualified to do so. </p> <p>Because at this moment, right now, pending the inevitable cataclysmic event that will screw everything &#0160;up, my work/life balance is really great.</p> <p>I&#39;m not sure how it happened, but I guess it dates back to my dad, whose bankers&#39; hours brought him home at the exact time every night. Door, kiss, couch, martini, right before dinner. The steadiness of his routine is sort of amazing, when I think about it. But that&#39;s the model I had to work with when I envisioned my own fatherhood, and I think it&#39;s served me pretty well.</p> <p>I had The Crazy Jobs in my 20s and 30s, but since I&#39;ve been a dad I&#39;ve been a financial editor, then unemployed, then a high-school math teacher, then unemployed again, then WAHDing it up in <a href="http://www.dad2summit.com/" target="_blank">my current gig</a>. All of which got me home every night, kept my weekends free, and afforded me lots of time with my kids, even after I split up with their mom.</p> <p>And that&#39;s a big point: It&#39;s not lost on me that a big part of this balance is being single. Frankly, cramming &quot;engaged fatherhood&quot; and &quot;engaged couplehood&quot; into a nebulous term like &quot;life&quot; seems terribly reductive, since each of those is a full-time job completely separate of your full-time job.</p> <p>I&#39;m grateful that circumstance has let me be such a big part of my kids&#39; lives. And even though I&#39;ll likely die alone, it&#39;s good to know that, when my sons come home, they will find me there, waiting for them on the couch. Usually after I&#39;ve just finished vacuuming all the cocaine out of the cushions.</p> <p>It&#39;s Wednesday, which means 1) the boys will arrive later today for the dadportion of their week, and 2) I&#39;ve spent most of my morning eradicating all the evidence of my debauched, kid-free bachelorhood. I may raise some eyebrows when I say this, but I truly believe responsible parenting means rinsing <em>all</em> that caked vomit out of the drapes and recovering <em>every</em> bullet casing -- even the ones that roll under the fridge -- in order to be the best role model I can be.</p> <p>As I was gathering up all the undergarments and drug paraphernalia from the grotto, I found myself thinking about work/life balance. It&#39;s been a huge topic among moms forever, but in this time of elevated expectations, dads are feeling it, too. I wish I could write more about it, but the truth is I&#39;m terribly unqualified to do so. </p> <p>Because at this moment, right now, pending the inevitable cataclysmic event that will screw everything &#0160;up, my work/life balance is really great.</p> <p>I&#39;m not sure how it happened, but I guess it dates back to my dad, whose bankers&#39; hours brought him home at the exact time every night. Door, kiss, couch, martini, right before dinner. The steadiness of his routine is sort of amazing, when I think about it. But that&#39;s the model I had to work with when I envisioned my own fatherhood, and I think it&#39;s served me pretty well.</p> <p>I had The Crazy Jobs in my 20s and 30s, but since I&#39;ve been a dad I&#39;ve been a financial editor, then unemployed, then a high-school math teacher, then unemployed again, then WAHDing it up in <a href="http://www.dad2summit.com/" target="_blank">my current gig</a>. All of which got me home every night, kept my weekends free, and afforded me lots of time with my kids, even after I split up with their mom.</p> <p>And that&#39;s a big point: It&#39;s not lost on me that a big part of this balance is being single. Frankly, cramming &quot;engaged fatherhood&quot; and &quot;engaged couplehood&quot; into a nebulous term like &quot;life&quot; seems terribly reductive, since each of those is a full-time job completely separate of your full-time job.</p> <p>I&#39;m grateful that circumstance has let me be such a big part of my kids&#39; lives. And even though I&#39;ll likely die alone, it&#39;s good to know that, when my sons come home, they will find me there, waiting for them on the couch. Usually after I&#39;ve just finished vacuuming all the cocaine out of the cushions.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017c37053a0a970b Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2013-02-22T00:31:24Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017c37050526970bThe coolest beanshttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2013-02-22T00:31:24Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p> <a class="asset-img-link" href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e2017d41348762970c-pi" style="float: left;"><img alt="Dad2badge2013" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a00d83451b3fc69e2017d41348762970c" src="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e2017d41348762970c-120wi" style="margin: 0px 5px 5px 0px;" title="Dad2badge2013" /></a>Dad 2.013 ended almost three weeks ago, and since then, I&#39;ve been indulging myself in ways some might not describe as all that indulgent. In between the post-mortem calls with sponsors and the reading of <a href="http://www.dad2summit.com/2013/02/07/dad-2-opinion-recaps-of-dad-2-013/" target="_blank">the many gratifyingly recaps</a>, I&#39;ve been been busy remembering how to write for me rather than for my job. This involves a lot of reading, and scribbling, and making a dent in my bloated Netflix queue. (Game of Thrones. Yes.)</p> <p>There has also been a lot of digging out from under. Incentivized by my sweet-ass new vacuum cleaner. (Indulgence!)</p> <p>The kids and I have seen a lot of each other this week when they&#39;re off school, and the other day the 10yo saw the Dad 2.0 foamboard signs I saved from the scrap heap and asked, &quot;Just what did you accomplish with this conference, anyway?&quot;</p> <p>I wasn&#39;t sure how to answer him. It&#39;s been enough of a chore over the past two years explaining Dad 2.0 to friends and family and&#0160;<a href="http://blogs.babble.com/babble-voices/doug-french-the-turbid-spume/2011/08/11/our-houses-will-be-very-fine-houses-if-we-ever-find-them/" target="_blank">potential landlords</a>. The prospect of describing it to my tweener son, for whom just about everything has become &quot;epically lame,&quot; was daunting. It did, however, give me a clear template for how to take stock of the last six months of my life.</p> <p>I could have said something about the theme of Dad 2.013, which was &quot;Elevated Expectations.&quot; It was inspired by a quote from Michael Chabon in&#0160;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004WB19DU/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B004WB19DU&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=laidoffdad-20">Manhood for Amateurs</a>:&#0160;&quot;The handy thing about being a father is that the historic standard is so pitifully low.” We came to Houston for the counterintuitive purpose of rocking the boat and asking to be held in higher regard.</p> <p>Putting together the first conference was a lot different, because to say people had low expectations for a disproven dad market is to imply there were any expecations at all. This year, though, we had a Title Sponsor (Dove Men+Care) and three Presenting Sponsors (Honda, ReadySetEat, and Kraft Cheese). We had a&#0160;<a href="http://www.dad2summit.com/2012/10/17/join-us-for-a-discussion-about-fatherhood-with-doug-flutie/" target="_blank">media event</a> in MetLife Stadium. We had a weekend of our own choosing, rather than a strategic piggyback onto SxSW. </p> <p>We had means, and a track record to improve upon.&#0160;</p> <p>That Dad 2.013 even existed stood for something important. We weren&#39;t just a one-and-done. We were back, and (22%) bigger. We had a lot of new faces, and an established, annual opportunity to galvanize them into a community that expects more from the media that portray us, the content that represents us, and the conduct that defines us.</p> <p>I could have said that, after so many years as a vocational itinerant who never quite fit into the three consecutive jobs that got rid of him, I feel like I&#39;ve found my place. A gig to feel good about, and makes sense with me in it, and makes we walk around with a goofy smile on my face:</p> <p> <a class="asset-img-link" href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e2017ee8a82d58970d-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="130206-Dad 2.0 2013-130201-704A2158" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a00d83451b3fc69e2017ee8a82d58970d" src="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e2017ee8a82d58970d-320wi" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="130206-Dad 2.0 2013-130201-704A2158" /></a></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 8pt;">Photo by <a href="http://blurbomat.com/" target="_blank">Jon Armstrong</a>.</span>&#0160;</p> <p>All of which would ring irredeemably tedious in a kid&#39;s ears. Yeah, Dad. Whatever.</p> <p>So instead I dialed it back a bit and went as elemental as I could: &quot;We spent the weekend talking about how cool it is to be someone&#39;s dad.&quot;&#0160;</p> <p>&quot;Cool beans,&quot; he said, unaware of just how ridiculously cool those beans are.</p> <p> <a class="asset-img-link" href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e2017d41348762970c-pi" style="float: left;"><img alt="Dad2badge2013" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a00d83451b3fc69e2017d41348762970c" src="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e2017d41348762970c-120wi" style="margin: 0px 5px 5px 0px;" title="Dad2badge2013" /></a>Dad 2.013 ended almost three weeks ago, and since then, I&#39;ve been indulging myself in ways some might not describe as all that indulgent. In between the post-mortem calls with sponsors and the reading of <a href="http://www.dad2summit.com/2013/02/07/dad-2-opinion-recaps-of-dad-2-013/" target="_blank">the many gratifyingly recaps</a>, I&#39;ve been been busy remembering how to write for me rather than for my job. This involves a lot of reading, and scribbling, and making a dent in my bloated Netflix queue. (Game of Thrones. Yes.)</p> <p>There has also been a lot of digging out from under. Incentivized by my sweet-ass new vacuum cleaner. (Indulgence!)</p> <p>The kids and I have seen a lot of each other this week when they&#39;re off school, and the other day the 10yo saw the Dad 2.0 foamboard signs I saved from the scrap heap and asked, &quot;Just what did you accomplish with this conference, anyway?&quot;</p> <p>I wasn&#39;t sure how to answer him. It&#39;s been enough of a chore over the past two years explaining Dad 2.0 to friends and family and&#0160;<a href="http://blogs.babble.com/babble-voices/doug-french-the-turbid-spume/2011/08/11/our-houses-will-be-very-fine-houses-if-we-ever-find-them/" target="_blank">potential landlords</a>. The prospect of describing it to my tweener son, for whom just about everything has become &quot;epically lame,&quot; was daunting. It did, however, give me a clear template for how to take stock of the last six months of my life.</p> <p>I could have said something about the theme of Dad 2.013, which was &quot;Elevated Expectations.&quot; It was inspired by a quote from Michael Chabon in&#0160;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004WB19DU/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B004WB19DU&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=laidoffdad-20">Manhood for Amateurs</a>:&#0160;&quot;The handy thing about being a father is that the historic standard is so pitifully low.” We came to Houston for the counterintuitive purpose of rocking the boat and asking to be held in higher regard.</p> <p>Putting together the first conference was a lot different, because to say people had low expectations for a disproven dad market is to imply there were any expecations at all. This year, though, we had a Title Sponsor (Dove Men+Care) and three Presenting Sponsors (Honda, ReadySetEat, and Kraft Cheese). We had a&#0160;<a href="http://www.dad2summit.com/2012/10/17/join-us-for-a-discussion-about-fatherhood-with-doug-flutie/" target="_blank">media event</a> in MetLife Stadium. We had a weekend of our own choosing, rather than a strategic piggyback onto SxSW. </p> <p>We had means, and a track record to improve upon.&#0160;</p> <p>That Dad 2.013 even existed stood for something important. We weren&#39;t just a one-and-done. We were back, and (22%) bigger. We had a lot of new faces, and an established, annual opportunity to galvanize them into a community that expects more from the media that portray us, the content that represents us, and the conduct that defines us.</p> <p>I could have said that, after so many years as a vocational itinerant who never quite fit into the three consecutive jobs that got rid of him, I feel like I&#39;ve found my place. A gig to feel good about, and makes sense with me in it, and makes we walk around with a goofy smile on my face:</p> <p> <a class="asset-img-link" href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e2017ee8a82d58970d-pi" style="display: inline;"><img alt="130206-Dad 2.0 2013-130201-704A2158" class="asset asset-image at-xid-6a00d83451b3fc69e2017ee8a82d58970d" src="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b3fc69e2017ee8a82d58970d-320wi" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="130206-Dad 2.0 2013-130201-704A2158" /></a></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 8pt;">Photo by <a href="http://blurbomat.com/" target="_blank">Jon Armstrong</a>.</span>&#0160;</p> <p>All of which would ring irredeemably tedious in a kid&#39;s ears. Yeah, Dad. Whatever.</p> <p>So instead I dialed it back a bit and went as elemental as I could: &quot;We spent the weekend talking about how cool it is to be someone&#39;s dad.&quot;&#0160;</p> <p>&quot;Cool beans,&quot; he said, unaware of just how ridiculously cool those beans are.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017ee66e0f85970d Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2012-12-19T23:38:17Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017ee66e0f81970dSticking to our gunshttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2012-12-19T23:38:17Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>I&#39;ve held off writing about the Newtown murders because I&#39;ve been way too paralyzed with impotent rage about them. I wanted to calm down and process everything with a level-ish head. It&#39;s not just how any subhumanoid with a face can buy a Bushmaster rifle at a gun show. It&#39;s about the scourge of influence-peddling, the bare-bones budgets for treating mental illness, a glut of &quot;information&quot; that tends to entrench opinions rather than challenge them.</p> <p>But it&#39;s still mostly about guns, dammit. </p> <p>I haven&#39;t shot a gun since Scout camp more than half my life ago. I don&#39;t hunt, I don&#39;t practice at ranges, and I don&#39;t believe having a revolver in my house makes me any more safe. I also know half the country disagrees with me, and I&#39;m really truly OK with the vast majority of gun owners who use and store their weapons safely and responsibly. </p> <p>But you&#39;re never gonna convince me that the average American needs a semiautomatic with a 30-round banana clip in his closet. There&#39;s just too much data correlating fewer guns with less gun-violence. I also know that the status quo isn&#39;t working, and that resorting the same heated rhetoric, on both sides of the gun debate, will only ensure that the &quot;Status Quo&quot; will never be supplanted by &quot;Quo Vadis?&quot;&#0160;</p> <p>I know enough to know I need to know more. What I do know, though, is that I love how kids question things so bluntly, with a common sense unburdened by an awareness of humanity&#39;s inherent flaws and frailties. When <a href="http://www.askmoxie.org/2012/12/i-carry-your-heart-with-mei-carry-it-in-my-heart.html" target="_blank">Moxie</a> and I took the boys to dinner for French Fryday last week, and we discussed what had happened in Newtown, the 10yo reacted with disgust: &quot;This is the 21st century! Aren&#39;t things supposed to be fixed by now?&quot;</p> <p>He was likely motivated to say this because he and I had recently seen &quot;Lincoln,&quot; when all those old-timey muttonchoppers didn&#39;t have electricity, and left mounds of severed limbs gathered from Civil War casualties in open pits, and carriage rides to the grocery store took a month and a half. We can equate the polarizing nature of slavery, and the terrible price we paid to &quot;solve&quot; it, with an ancient time, a century and a half ago, when we didn&#39;t know any better.&#0160;</p> <p>Plus, when you&#39;re a kid, it&#39;s easy to think that Now is the modern time, the pinnacle. We&#39;ve survived conflicts and invented smart phones, and we&#39;ve arrived, at the end. You can look back at the primitives carrying torches and marvel at how they ever got by in the world.</p> <p>Movies like Lincoln help us realize that humanity, and the challenges of our society and politics, haven&#39;t changed. People (<em>all</em> of us, not just the half of the country that you disagree with) are just bigger-brained, less-hairy animals, who can be too proud, too threatened, too obstinate, too righteous, too pedantic, too underinformed, too unwilling to listen, too easy to anger, too mistrustful of others&#39; motives.&#0160;</p> <p>Too determined to stick to our guns.</p> <p>I hope we can finally--after however many gun deaths we&#39;ve had to endure--find some headway to keep people from being slaughtered so senselessly. I want to believe this is the tipping point that brings to the forefront the need to find compromise for some gun reform. But I&#39;m skeptical, because we&#39;re the same now, as we were then. The torches we carry might help us talk with someone around the world or find a neighborhood Thai restaurant, but we&#39;re still human.</p> <p>I&#39;ve held off writing about the Newtown murders because I&#39;ve been way too paralyzed with impotent rage about them. I wanted to calm down and process everything with a level-ish head. It&#39;s not just how any subhumanoid with a face can buy a Bushmaster rifle at a gun show. It&#39;s about the scourge of influence-peddling, the bare-bones budgets for treating mental illness, a glut of &quot;information&quot; that tends to entrench opinions rather than challenge them.</p> <p>But it&#39;s still mostly about guns, dammit. </p> <p>I haven&#39;t shot a gun since Scout camp more than half my life ago. I don&#39;t hunt, I don&#39;t practice at ranges, and I don&#39;t believe having a revolver in my house makes me any more safe. I also know half the country disagrees with me, and I&#39;m really truly OK with the vast majority of gun owners who use and store their weapons safely and responsibly. </p> <p>But you&#39;re never gonna convince me that the average American needs a semiautomatic with a 30-round banana clip in his closet. There&#39;s just too much data correlating fewer guns with less gun-violence. I also know that the status quo isn&#39;t working, and that resorting the same heated rhetoric, on both sides of the gun debate, will only ensure that the &quot;Status Quo&quot; will never be supplanted by &quot;Quo Vadis?&quot;&#0160;</p> <p>I know enough to know I need to know more. What I do know, though, is that I love how kids question things so bluntly, with a common sense unburdened by an awareness of humanity&#39;s inherent flaws and frailties. When <a href="http://www.askmoxie.org/2012/12/i-carry-your-heart-with-mei-carry-it-in-my-heart.html" target="_blank">Moxie</a> and I took the boys to dinner for French Fryday last week, and we discussed what had happened in Newtown, the 10yo reacted with disgust: &quot;This is the 21st century! Aren&#39;t things supposed to be fixed by now?&quot;</p> <p>He was likely motivated to say this because he and I had recently seen &quot;Lincoln,&quot; when all those old-timey muttonchoppers didn&#39;t have electricity, and left mounds of severed limbs gathered from Civil War casualties in open pits, and carriage rides to the grocery store took a month and a half. We can equate the polarizing nature of slavery, and the terrible price we paid to &quot;solve&quot; it, with an ancient time, a century and a half ago, when we didn&#39;t know any better.&#0160;</p> <p>Plus, when you&#39;re a kid, it&#39;s easy to think that Now is the modern time, the pinnacle. We&#39;ve survived conflicts and invented smart phones, and we&#39;ve arrived, at the end. You can look back at the primitives carrying torches and marvel at how they ever got by in the world.</p> <p>Movies like Lincoln help us realize that humanity, and the challenges of our society and politics, haven&#39;t changed. People (<em>all</em> of us, not just the half of the country that you disagree with) are just bigger-brained, less-hairy animals, who can be too proud, too threatened, too obstinate, too righteous, too pedantic, too underinformed, too unwilling to listen, too easy to anger, too mistrustful of others&#39; motives.&#0160;</p> <p>Too determined to stick to our guns.</p> <p>I hope we can finally--after however many gun deaths we&#39;ve had to endure--find some headway to keep people from being slaughtered so senselessly. I want to believe this is the tipping point that brings to the forefront the need to find compromise for some gun reform. But I&#39;m skeptical, because we&#39;re the same now, as we were then. The torches we carry might help us talk with someone around the world or find a neighborhood Thai restaurant, but we&#39;re still human.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017c34762087970b Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2012-12-10T03:22:20Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017ee6196804970dPresents of mindhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2012-12-10T03:22:19Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>This morning, on my way to brunch, I listened to A Prairie Home Companion in the car. And the skit I heard was of two Christmas trees confronting their imminent mortality and resolving to live for now. They could feel the life-force slowly receding from their trunks as they leaned against each other on 43rd Street, and they lamented their destiny to die in the gutter and be mulched into oblivion. But they knew they&#39;d go out in style, as a decorated protector of some family&#39;s Christmas presents. (At least, that was the male tree&#39;s opening line. Which worked like a charm.)</p> <p>After we were seated in the restaurant, I learned that one of the men at the table was recovering from two surgeries after his system was attacked by a staph infection that came out of nowhere. The only symptom was a pimple-sized welt on his leg that grew to six inches in diameter in four hours, and his doctor said that had he not taken himself to the ER right then, they might not have caught it in time. It was either aerobic or anaerobic, could have come from without or within. &#0160;</p> <p>After eight days in the hospital, this was his first meal as a free man. And he ordered about 1,000 calories&#39; worth of Eggs Benedict. And ate every bite with the relish of a man whose body almost ate itself.</p> <p>This was a tough day to process all this, since after a particularly festive Christmas party last night, my aging body has had a tougher time recovering from the (decidedly reduced) excess. It helped, though, when Moxie texted me a picture of TwoBert&#39;s letter to Santa, in which he said all he wants for Christmas is &quot;a kiss from a pretty girl under the mistletoe.&quot;</p> <p>I can suggest an opening line that might make that wish come true.</p> <p>This morning, on my way to brunch, I listened to A Prairie Home Companion in the car. And the skit I heard was of two Christmas trees confronting their imminent mortality and resolving to live for now. They could feel the life-force slowly receding from their trunks as they leaned against each other on 43rd Street, and they lamented their destiny to die in the gutter and be mulched into oblivion. But they knew they&#39;d go out in style, as a decorated protector of some family&#39;s Christmas presents. (At least, that was the male tree&#39;s opening line. Which worked like a charm.)</p> <p>After we were seated in the restaurant, I learned that one of the men at the table was recovering from two surgeries after his system was attacked by a staph infection that came out of nowhere. The only symptom was a pimple-sized welt on his leg that grew to six inches in diameter in four hours, and his doctor said that had he not taken himself to the ER right then, they might not have caught it in time. It was either aerobic or anaerobic, could have come from without or within. &#0160;</p> <p>After eight days in the hospital, this was his first meal as a free man. And he ordered about 1,000 calories&#39; worth of Eggs Benedict. And ate every bite with the relish of a man whose body almost ate itself.</p> <p>This was a tough day to process all this, since after a particularly festive Christmas party last night, my aging body has had a tougher time recovering from the (decidedly reduced) excess. It helped, though, when Moxie texted me a picture of TwoBert&#39;s letter to Santa, in which he said all he wants for Christmas is &quot;a kiss from a pretty girl under the mistletoe.&quot;</p> <p>I can suggest an opening line that might make that wish come true.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017ee5c9ba15970d Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2012-12-01T03:55:26Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017c342600d2970bA month of growthhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2012-12-01T03:55:25Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>I&#39;d like to say that <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/when-two-neologisms-love-each-other-very-much.html" target="_blank">NaBloPoMovember 2012</a> served as a watershed moment in my development as a man, father, writer, and pickle enthusiast. At the least, it was eventful--more so than I anticipated, anyway. November <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/yes-he-did-again.html" target="_blank">re-elected a president</a>, <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/my-city-was-gone.html" target="_blank">washed away countless lives and livelihoods</a>, and celebrated two people who somehow managed to spend <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/gold-minus-one.html" target="_blank">2/3 of their lives together</a>. I caught <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/the-bourbon-has-landed.html" target="_blank">the Bourbonic plague</a>, <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/in-which-wimp-becomes-a-decidedly-overused-prefix.html" target="_blank">met the diarist of a wimpy kid</a>, and got a heaping helping of <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/occupysandy.html" target="_blank">perspective</a> along with my <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/ten-miles-and-a-world-away.html" target="_blank">Thanksgiving meal</a>.</p> <p>Mostly, though, I wanted to get writing again. <a href="http://dad2summit.com/" target="_blank">Dad 2.013</a> is only two months away, and it could have been really easy to melt into the work that ultimately resulted in <a href="http://dad2summit.com/2012/11/30/movember-and-mogiving-ends-but-our-speaker-announcements-begin/" target="_blank">our first of three speaker announcements</a>. The truth is, though, for all the phone calls and interviews and other opportunities to champion dad-based content, I&#39;d have felt like a hypocrite if I&#39;d stopped making any of my own. November helped me get the oil back in the engine and strike a work/write balance that I hope to sustain as long as I can.</p> <p>About the only real growth was this <a href="http://instagram.com/p/SDhtptCxz4/" target="_blank">comical T-shaped hair-thing</a> on the front of my face, which--even though it clearly <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/title.html" target="_blank">brought all the girls to the yard</a>--will either be 1) be washed down the sink or 2) overwhelmed by a DecemBeard. If you&#39;d like to salute its memory and <a href="http://us.movember.com/mospace/845488" target="_blank">donate even a small, token amount to the team</a>, thank you. My mustache would definitely have wanted it that way.</p> <p>I&#39;d like to say that <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/when-two-neologisms-love-each-other-very-much.html" target="_blank">NaBloPoMovember 2012</a> served as a watershed moment in my development as a man, father, writer, and pickle enthusiast. At the least, it was eventful--more so than I anticipated, anyway. November <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/yes-he-did-again.html" target="_blank">re-elected a president</a>, <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/my-city-was-gone.html" target="_blank">washed away countless lives and livelihoods</a>, and celebrated two people who somehow managed to spend <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/gold-minus-one.html" target="_blank">2/3 of their lives together</a>. I caught <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/the-bourbon-has-landed.html" target="_blank">the Bourbonic plague</a>, <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/in-which-wimp-becomes-a-decidedly-overused-prefix.html" target="_blank">met the diarist of a wimpy kid</a>, and got a heaping helping of <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/occupysandy.html" target="_blank">perspective</a> along with my <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/ten-miles-and-a-world-away.html" target="_blank">Thanksgiving meal</a>.</p> <p>Mostly, though, I wanted to get writing again. <a href="http://dad2summit.com/" target="_blank">Dad 2.013</a> is only two months away, and it could have been really easy to melt into the work that ultimately resulted in <a href="http://dad2summit.com/2012/11/30/movember-and-mogiving-ends-but-our-speaker-announcements-begin/" target="_blank">our first of three speaker announcements</a>. The truth is, though, for all the phone calls and interviews and other opportunities to champion dad-based content, I&#39;d have felt like a hypocrite if I&#39;d stopped making any of my own. November helped me get the oil back in the engine and strike a work/write balance that I hope to sustain as long as I can.</p> <p>About the only real growth was this <a href="http://instagram.com/p/SDhtptCxz4/" target="_blank">comical T-shaped hair-thing</a> on the front of my face, which--even though it clearly <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/title.html" target="_blank">brought all the girls to the yard</a>--will either be 1) be washed down the sink or 2) overwhelmed by a DecemBeard. If you&#39;d like to salute its memory and <a href="http://us.movember.com/mospace/845488" target="_blank">donate even a small, token amount to the team</a>, thank you. My mustache would definitely have wanted it that way.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017c341dde0d970b Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2012-11-30T04:44:04Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017c341dde0b970bhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2012-11-30T04:44:04Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017ee5c17bc8970d Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2012-11-30T04:38:24Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017c341d9b35970bOne day more! Another day, another destiny!http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2012-11-30T04:38:24Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>You know how proud Jerry Seinfeld was of his non-vomit streak? And how devastated he was when it came to an end? My mind was with him this morning as I, too, contemplated the end of a streak I hold sacred: In the Post-Marriage Era, on days that the kids have been with me, neither has ever stayed home sick from school.</p> <p>I&#39;m not sure how you&#39;re reacting to this at home. You may be awed. You may scoff incredulously. You superstitious types may be chiding me for mentioning the streak so brazenly and thus inviting a jinx. (You people are the most narcissistic and sad of all.) Superstitions are malarkey, jinxes do not exist, and children do not stay home from school on my watch.</p> <p>The Streak nearly ended, however, when the 10yo staggered out of his room feeling &quot;groggy.&quot; He&#39;d missed school yesterday (thanks to his mother, whose lenience is her tragic undoing) and asserted he didn&#39;t feel any better today. His throat was scratchy. He coughed a few times into his elbow. He looked at me as if he&#39;d spent one day too many aboard a cruise ship. He made his case to stay home a second day, foolishly forgetting with whom he was dealing:</p> <p style="padding-left: 30px;">R: Dad, I think I should lay low today.<br />Me: If you do, no movies or computer. You&#39;ll need your rest.<br />R: That&#39;s fine. All I want to do is sleep.</p> <p>Hmm. A willingness to forego electronic entertainment without protest.</p> <p style="padding-left: 30px;">Me: You might have to get dressed anyway and come to the library while I work.<br />R: I could to that. I&#39;ll just sit and read in the corner.</p> <p>Maintaining his message. He was bringing his A-game today.</p> <p style="padding-left: 30px;">Me: You know that middle school we all want you to go to next year?<br />R: Yeah.<br />Me: One of the things they&#39;ll check on your application is your attendance and lateness record.<br />R: What for?<br />Me: Because they want to see that you&#39;re willing to apply yourself, and they know that kids who miss a lot of time can struggle to catch up.<br />R: [pause] Let me see if taking a shower helps.&#0160;</p> <p>Miracle of miracles, the shower restored him to only slightly imperfect health. He went off to school, came back feeling fine, and my streak remains unbroken. Javert would be proud.</p> <p>You know how proud Jerry Seinfeld was of his non-vomit streak? And how devastated he was when it came to an end? My mind was with him this morning as I, too, contemplated the end of a streak I hold sacred: In the Post-Marriage Era, on days that the kids have been with me, neither has ever stayed home sick from school.</p> <p>I&#39;m not sure how you&#39;re reacting to this at home. You may be awed. You may scoff incredulously. You superstitious types may be chiding me for mentioning the streak so brazenly and thus inviting a jinx. (You people are the most narcissistic and sad of all.) Superstitions are malarkey, jinxes do not exist, and children do not stay home from school on my watch.</p> <p>The Streak nearly ended, however, when the 10yo staggered out of his room feeling &quot;groggy.&quot; He&#39;d missed school yesterday (thanks to his mother, whose lenience is her tragic undoing) and asserted he didn&#39;t feel any better today. His throat was scratchy. He coughed a few times into his elbow. He looked at me as if he&#39;d spent one day too many aboard a cruise ship. He made his case to stay home a second day, foolishly forgetting with whom he was dealing:</p> <p style="padding-left: 30px;">R: Dad, I think I should lay low today.<br />Me: If you do, no movies or computer. You&#39;ll need your rest.<br />R: That&#39;s fine. All I want to do is sleep.</p> <p>Hmm. A willingness to forego electronic entertainment without protest.</p> <p style="padding-left: 30px;">Me: You might have to get dressed anyway and come to the library while I work.<br />R: I could to that. I&#39;ll just sit and read in the corner.</p> <p>Maintaining his message. He was bringing his A-game today.</p> <p style="padding-left: 30px;">Me: You know that middle school we all want you to go to next year?<br />R: Yeah.<br />Me: One of the things they&#39;ll check on your application is your attendance and lateness record.<br />R: What for?<br />Me: Because they want to see that you&#39;re willing to apply yourself, and they know that kids who miss a lot of time can struggle to catch up.<br />R: [pause] Let me see if taking a shower helps.&#0160;</p> <p>Miracle of miracles, the shower restored him to only slightly imperfect health. He went off to school, came back feeling fine, and my streak remains unbroken. Javert would be proud.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017ee5c00731970d Doug French posted something http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2012-11-29T22:58:50Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017ee5c0072f970dhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/comment2012-11-29T22:58:50Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrenchtag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017d3e44f857970c Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2012-11-29T04:24:11Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017d3e44a8a6970cSeven Five Ohhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2012-11-29T04:24:11Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>Typepad tells me this is Laid-Off Dad&#39;s 750th post. Which can mean only one thing: I&#39;m zoning in on Barry Bonds&#39;s record and will one day be voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. And I&#39;ve done it all steroid-free, relying instead solely on various parts of speech, fatherhood, insomnia, bourbon, joy, anguish, a WYSIWYG interface, and lots of fresh greens.</p> <p>As fate would have it, the subject of this momentous monologuing milepost will be how I took my 10-year-old son to have his IQ tested. Because he will graduate (?) elementary school in the spring, and we&#39;re looking at all kinds of middle schools for him, and some of them think an IQ (or FSIQ, as they call it now) is a good piece of data to help <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">reject</span> sift through applicants.&#0160;</p> <p>The test is the&#0160;Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children—Fourth Edition, which a psychological assessment you can read about in <a href="http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/features/pas-22-4-782.pdf" target="_blank">this somewhat impenetrable APA report</a>. It mentions Covariance Matrices and Kurtosis and First-Order Breadth Factors and lots of other highfalutin terms you will yearn to memorize and drop casually at your next holiday party. After which your boss will regard your false intellectual facade as a direct threat to his authority and trump up some bullshit reason to fire you.&#0160;</p> <p>The process was painless enough. We arrived at the doctor&#39;s house at 8:15am, he took my son into the other room for about 75 minutes of brain rigor, and an hour later we received a comprehensive and incomprehensible report from which I hope the middle schools will derive more value than I do.</p> <p>The kid has not stopped begging us to tell him what his IQ is, and we keep telling him it&#39;s not going to happen. (Maybe on his 40th birthday, Moxie suggested.) Because one thing we do understand without doubt is that we don&#39;t really care how &quot;gifted&quot; he is. Achievement is a vector that requires direction AND magnitude. (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLSLwIaCpv8" target="_blank">OH YEAH!</a>) Without direction, magnitude can veer off anywhere.&#0160;My cousin tested off the charts when he was a kid and never lifted a finger in school, and after he served a couple of jail terms for various drug charges, he sort of fell off the grid.&#0160;</p> <p>The consensus says we need to <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/04/get-smart.html" target="_blank">laud effort, not intelligence</a>. Otherwise, your kid will end up a drug user like my cousin. And Barry Bonds, allegedly. (I&#39;m coming for you, you surly melonhead.)</p> <p>Typepad tells me this is Laid-Off Dad&#39;s 750th post. Which can mean only one thing: I&#39;m zoning in on Barry Bonds&#39;s record and will one day be voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. And I&#39;ve done it all steroid-free, relying instead solely on various parts of speech, fatherhood, insomnia, bourbon, joy, anguish, a WYSIWYG interface, and lots of fresh greens.</p> <p>As fate would have it, the subject of this momentous monologuing milepost will be how I took my 10-year-old son to have his IQ tested. Because he will graduate (?) elementary school in the spring, and we&#39;re looking at all kinds of middle schools for him, and some of them think an IQ (or FSIQ, as they call it now) is a good piece of data to help <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">reject</span> sift through applicants.&#0160;</p> <p>The test is the&#0160;Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children—Fourth Edition, which a psychological assessment you can read about in <a href="http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/features/pas-22-4-782.pdf" target="_blank">this somewhat impenetrable APA report</a>. It mentions Covariance Matrices and Kurtosis and First-Order Breadth Factors and lots of other highfalutin terms you will yearn to memorize and drop casually at your next holiday party. After which your boss will regard your false intellectual facade as a direct threat to his authority and trump up some bullshit reason to fire you.&#0160;</p> <p>The process was painless enough. We arrived at the doctor&#39;s house at 8:15am, he took my son into the other room for about 75 minutes of brain rigor, and an hour later we received a comprehensive and incomprehensible report from which I hope the middle schools will derive more value than I do.</p> <p>The kid has not stopped begging us to tell him what his IQ is, and we keep telling him it&#39;s not going to happen. (Maybe on his 40th birthday, Moxie suggested.) Because one thing we do understand without doubt is that we don&#39;t really care how &quot;gifted&quot; he is. Achievement is a vector that requires direction AND magnitude. (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLSLwIaCpv8" target="_blank">OH YEAH!</a>) Without direction, magnitude can veer off anywhere.&#0160;My cousin tested off the charts when he was a kid and never lifted a finger in school, and after he served a couple of jail terms for various drug charges, he sort of fell off the grid.&#0160;</p> <p>The consensus says we need to <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/04/get-smart.html" target="_blank">laud effort, not intelligence</a>. Otherwise, your kid will end up a drug user like my cousin. And Barry Bonds, allegedly. (I&#39;m coming for you, you surly melonhead.)</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collectiontag:api.typepad.com,2009:6e00d83451b3fc69e2017ee5b138e3970d Doug French posted an entry http://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/post2012-11-28T05:10:29Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e2017ee52ad5a2970dThey don't make insults the way they used tohttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/article2012-11-27T23:58:00Ztag:api.typepad.com,2009:6p00d83451b3fc69e2Doug Frenchhttp://profile.typepad.com/dougfrench<p>Tonight was the first official event of the Virginia Club of Michigan, and I am its Communications Director (because I&#39;m the one who knows how to work the Twitter). Our guest was Gordon Burris, who&#39;s been with the University for as long as I&#39;ve &#0160;been alive and has more anecdotes than I have hairs on my head. The conversation took a turn toward Jon Meacham&#39;s new book,&#0160;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400067669/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1400067669&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=laidoffdad-20">Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power</a>, and how it fits in with the myriad interpretations among <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B000JMA6IA/?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;condition=all&amp;creative=390957&amp;linkCode=ur2&amp;tag=laidoffdad-20" target="_blank">Jefferson and His Time</a><img alt="" src="https://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=laidoffdad-20&amp;l=ur2&amp;o=1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" />, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0393337766/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0393337766&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=laidoffdad-20">The Hemingses of Monticello</a>, and&#0160;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0679764410/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0679764410&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=laidoffdad-20">American Sphinx</a>.</p> <p>As you&#39;ve probably guessed, I&#39;m <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/i-dont-want-to-freak-anybody-out-but-.html" target="_blank">fascinated with</a>&#0160;Our Nerdiest President, because of quotes like this:</p> <p style="padding-left: 30px;">&quot;... I rarely waste time in reading on theological subjects, as mangled by our Pseudo-Christians.... Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity. It is mere Abracadabra of the mountebanks calling themselves the priests of Jesus. If it could be understood it would not answer their purpose. Their security is in their faculty of shedding darkness, like the scuttlefish, thro&#39; the element in which they move, and making it impenetrable to the eye of a pursuing enemy, and there they will skulk.&quot; [<a href="http://www.brunswickcounty.com/Thomas_Jefferson_and_the_Doctrine_of_the_Trinity-a-1150.html" target="_blank">source</a>]</p> <p>Say what you will, but the man could bring the withering smack.</p> <p>Tonight was the first official event of the Virginia Club of Michigan, and I am its Communications Director (because I&#39;m the one who knows how to work the Twitter). Our guest was Gordon Burris, who&#39;s been with the University for as long as I&#39;ve &#0160;been alive and has more anecdotes than I have hairs on my head. The conversation took a turn toward Jon Meacham&#39;s new book,&#0160;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400067669/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=1400067669&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=laidoffdad-20">Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power</a>, and how it fits in with the myriad interpretations among <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B000JMA6IA/?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;condition=all&amp;creative=390957&amp;linkCode=ur2&amp;tag=laidoffdad-20" target="_blank">Jefferson and His Time</a><img alt="" src="https://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=laidoffdad-20&amp;l=ur2&amp;o=1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" />, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0393337766/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0393337766&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=laidoffdad-20">The Hemingses of Monticello</a>, and&#0160;<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0679764410/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=0679764410&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=laidoffdad-20">American Sphinx</a>.</p> <p>As you&#39;ve probably guessed, I&#39;m <a href="http://laidoffdad.typepad.com/lod/2012/11/i-dont-want-to-freak-anybody-out-but-.html" target="_blank">fascinated with</a>&#0160;Our Nerdiest President, because of quotes like this:</p> <p style="padding-left: 30px;">&quot;... I rarely waste time in reading on theological subjects, as mangled by our Pseudo-Christians.... Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity. It is mere Abracadabra of the mountebanks calling themselves the priests of Jesus. If it could be understood it would not answer their purpose. Their security is in their faculty of shedding darkness, like the scuttlefish, thro&#39; the element in which they move, and making it impenetrable to the eye of a pursuing enemy, and there they will skulk.&quot; [<a href="http://www.brunswickcounty.com/Thomas_Jefferson_and_the_Doctrine_of_the_Trinity-a-1150.html" target="_blank">source</a>]</p> <p>Say what you will, but the man could bring the withering smack.</p>tag:api.typepad.com,2009:6a00d83451b3fc69e200d8341c530453efLaid-Off Dadhttp://activitystrea.ms/schema/1.0/collection