But let me tell you, I feel like fucking crying so much right now but the tears are still not flowing.

Deftones have been a part of my life since 98. That's fucking 15 years, man. Fuck. They have been there for so many shitty times and good times, too. Their music was a soundtrack for a large part of my existence. I wish they wouldn't call themselves Deftones anymore. So much nostalgia is connected to them. Fuck. I don't even know what to say. There is no Deftones without Chi. He is an integral part of the band like anyone else.