January 30th marked the 15-year anniversary of a seminal event in Mixed-Martial Arts history, an occasion largely unnoticed due to the hype surrounding a certain middleweight fight the following night.

The event? None other than the opening round to the 2000 PRIDE Grand Prix, of course.

It might not have been as flashy and/or violent as most of us predicted, but Anderson Silva and Nick Diaz‘s UFC 183 headliner was every bit the circus act that it promised to be by virtue of being booked in the first place. While not without its lulls in action, Silva vs. Diaz saw the former/current(?) GOAT return to form against Stockton’s finest, picking him apart over five rounds en route to a unanimous decision victory. And speaking of a return to form, you best believe that Diaz still thought he won that sh*t.

(“I hope to in the future and nowadays come off as the best type of role model I can be. You know, even though I’m missing a Wednesday on a big event like this, you know, kids, remember to brush your teeth.” — actual quote from Nick Diaz.)

Whether you’re a fan of his or not, it’s hard to deny that Nick Diaz is one of the most intriguing/confounding figures in our sport. In a sea of wolf ticket-slinging jabronis, he’s the anti-bullshit superhero that MMA wants, and dare I say it, needs. And my God is the man quotable to no end, whether intentionally or otherwise.

Having now watched his UFC 183 media scrum three times in a row, I can only compare the experience to that of a David Lynch movie — it’s long, rambling, ambiguous bordering on incomprehensible, and by the time it’s over, I’m both completely unsure of what I saw and ready to watch it again. Such is Stockton’s finest. Conor McGregor may be able to capture our attention with his arrogant, self-inflating and occasionally witty takedowns of every fighter in his division, but Diaz’s ability to captivate an audience by saying absolutely nothing while using as many half-uttered words as possible is second to none.

Check out Diaz’s full UFC 183 media scrum after the jump to see what we mean.

If you happen to live in the Northeast (or are Facebook friends with someone who does), you’ve likely already bared witness to the tundra-esque hellscape known as “Snowmageddon 2015.” Whether it’s insane traffic delays or a string of window photos reminding you that, yes, snow is a thing that happens in winter, Snowmageddon is here to inconvenience us all, so why not power through it with this random collection of Jeff Monson videos? Because Jeff Monson’s nickname is “The Snowman”, you see, and its snowing outside. Therefore: relevant news.

Come to think of it, perhaps this should have been an article dedicated to Jon Jones. (*gives/receives all of the self-fives*) Regardless, join us after the jump if spending your day off watching a heavily-tattooed anarchist strangle people sounds like a fun time to you.

Former Bellator/UFC Dave Herman had a less than ideal Martin Luther King Jr. Day, to say the very least. After being spotted with a missing tail light and leading Indiana police on a “3 mile chase” early Monday morning, Herman was tasered, hauled into custody, and slapped with a litany of felony and misdemeanor charges including but not limited to Resisting Law Enforcement and Battery Against Law Enforcement. Oh yeah, and his wife and infant son witnessed the whole thing.

That last part bears mentioning, because as it turns out, Herman’s wife, Madeleine, was recording the majority of the incident with her computer prior to Herman’s arrest. In addition to contesting the report filed again “Pee Wee” yesterday, Madeleine also teamed up with retired Marine, libertarian talk show host, and activist Adam Kokesh to release the video of Herman’s arrest. Suffice it to say, the video paints a slightly different picture of what went down than the police report.

On his December 4th drug test: “It was a nerve-racking day. I knew that I had done something wrong, and I knew that the test would show that…I knew it would be a positive test, I knew there was nothing I could do about it. I was stressed out about it, but I just thought I’d focus on what I could control, and that was just the fight.”

On poor decisions: “That’s the big question — ‘Why would you do that right before your fight?’ I definitely don’t have an excuse. I’m not here to make excuses for what happened. I did it, and basically, at a party. I think a coward would sit here and try to come up with this elaborate reason or try to blame something, and I’m not gonna do that. I’m not gonna blame my friends, I’m not gonna blame pressure or stress…but what I will say is, I messed up. It wasn’t a mistake, I can’t call it a mistake because I consciously did it.”

On his cocaine usage: “I had done it before, quite a few times in college I had experimented with it, but that’s really it. Mainly just college, it was something that I dipped and dabbed into a little bit, but it was never really an issue.”

Really? So you did cocaine in college and then did it this one time before a fight and got caught. No. Seriously? “Yeah, pretty much…I do not dab into cocaine, it’s not my thing at all. The night I did it, I was just…there’s no excuse, I really don’t know what came over me, what made me decide to make such a poor choice, but I did, and now I live with…I’m not a cocaine addict by any mean, or not even a frequent user. I just made a really dumb decision, just really got caught with my pants down in this whole situation, and you know, no excuse for it, I can just apologize and try to do things better.”

All three judges scored the contest 29-28 for Cerrone, though they didn’t all agree on which two rounds Cerrone had won. Henderson looked shocked at the result, and Cerrone — who should have been jubilant at finally earning a win against an opponent who had previously beaten him twice — looked pretty bummed about the result himself. As he explains in the post-fight interview below, Cerrone wasn’t happy with his “timid” performance in the round 1, and he was sad that he gave his friend Benson his third-straight loss. (When Ariel Helwani explains that Henderson has only lost two straight, it seems to make Cerrone feel better, but not by much.)

Last night’s UFC Fight Night 59 bout between Irish featherweight star Conor McGregor and German role-player Dennis Siver was every bit the lopsided showcase we expected it to be. McGregor thoroughly outclassed Siver in the standup exchanges, using his speed, accuracy, and unpredictable variety of strikes to befuddle his opponent. After two minutes in the second round, Siver found himself mounted on the mat, eating shots until Herb Dean called it a day. Highlights from McGregor’s TKO of Siver are above, via UFC on FOX.

The combination of McGregor’s pumped-up insanity, Aldo’s calm amusement, and the gangster-ass little girl trying to be a part of the brawl made it one of the most entertaining post-fight encounters in UFC history. Check out the video below, and get full UFC Fight Night 59 results right here…

0:04 – Cerrone steps into frame and excitedly claps his hands and stomps his foot because he’s just so damn excited to see his buddy Benson again. They embrace like two long-lost friends.

0:10 – Dana White reminds them they’re here to promote a fight and tells them to square off. Cerrone, who’s already four inches taller than Henderson, gets up on his toes, and Henderson just smiles and laughs because his buddy Donald is such a clown.

0:15 – Dana tells them to “face forward, shoulder to shoulder,” and Cerrone takes the command as literally as possible, then starts nudging at Henderson like a young boy pestering his older brother. Cerrone, wearing a soon-to-be-banned Budweiser shirt, announces that “rounds are on ‘Cowboy’ after this fight.”

Every fighter goes through a period of decline as they age, but few fighters have had a fall as sharp and devastating as Miguel Torres.

Torres was once a 37-1 WEC bantamweight champion and one of the best pound-for-pound fighters ever (back when that distinction was less of a dubious marketing ploy). Then he hit a huge skid and wound up losing to a Wiki-less Pablo Alfonso in World Series of Fighting via submission in just the first round. The shame of this loss sent him to garbage regional shows with names straight out of EA Sports MMA — “Rebel FC” and “United Combat League.” Torres went 3-0 during this time over tomato cans.

His recent return to the “big time” was a fight against Desmond Green at Titan FC 31 in late 2014. Torres lost in under a minute. After this, Torres decided to try his hand at kickboxing. Last night, he had his pro kickboxing debut against Angel Huerta at Legacy Kickboxing 1 in Houston. The fight, like the last few rotations of the earth around the sun, held nothing but disaster for Torres. Check out the finish after the jump…