August 19th, 2014

WELL IF YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT POP STARS HAVE FOR TEA, ASK JOHNNY DEE

Welcome acolytes. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 has been to the top of the mountain. Spent much tme amongst the clouds. The silence. Enlightenment followed. Shhh, no noise. Too much noise. Learn to switch off. Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 switched offfffffff….

<ITEM> Just enough time for a digression about the return of the Aphex Twin before James Stokoe’s ne favourite regular feature SILENCE!…Because My Mouth Is Full (Of Delicious Food!) with Gourmet Lactus and The Beast Must Dine!

Now clear out pests! Enlightenment has passed. Turns out it was just wind.

June 17th, 2014

IT’S NOT FAR, NOT HARD TO REACH, WE CAN HITCH A RIDE TO ROCKAWAY BEACH

In a podcast there lived a ludicrous, well-designed Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735 named The Beast Must Die. Not a stupid opinionated, half-baked podcast, filled with comics and an obsessive smell, nor yet a blustering, gigantic, turgid podcast with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735-podcast, and that means entertainment.

One day, after a troubling visit from the space-giant Gary Lactus, The Beast leaves his podcast and sets out in search of three ignorant toilets. A quest undertaken in the company of listeners, sponsors and ugly meatsacks.

In the search for the Quizzlertron-guarded toilets, The Beast Must Die surprises even himself with his bullshittery and skill as a reviewer.

During his travels, The Beast rescues a Graphic Novel, an heirloom belonging to Gary. But when Gary refuses to try shutting up, their friendship is over.

However, Gary is wounded at the Battle of Crisis Of Infinite Podcasts and the two reconcile just before The Beast engages in some serious shutting up.

The Beast accepts one of the three ignorant toilets and returns home to his podcast a very wealthy Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735.

Wait, what?

<ITEM> Sponsorshiz, Potential Father’s Day, the best Dad’s in comics, Dr Doom, Batman, Lonewolf & Cub, The Ben Elton/Neil Gaimanaxis of evil and more in the now legendary preambular olympics.

<ITEM> The final session in the Quizzlertron, as the boys finish their 100th episode spectacular on episode 105, because let us not ever forget they are PROFESSIONALS. Mighty Crusaders, Al Ewing, ‘wacky’ podcasts and the real Captain Marvel. Including bonus Lady Lactus content, flatmate Laura and Gary Lactus dropping a deuce live on air!

April 21st, 2014

BLANK FRANK IS THE MESSENGER OF YOUR DOOM AND YOUR DESTRUCTION

Happy Birthday to SILENCE!

Happy Birthday to SILENCE!

You look like a monkey

and you smell like…Brian Blessed’s beard…?

I think that’s how the song goes anyway. It is the return of original and best of the Narratorbots, Disembodied Narratorbot X-15735! No fractal distillations of self, or parallell versions, just the real motherboard-flipping deal. Back to celebrate 100, 000, 000 episodes of reality’s most beloved poddlecaste, SILENCE! What once was a mewling, quivering babe, is now a stooped and saggy old man, with low slung testicles and a shuffling gait. And it’s all because of you enabling those two Radio Hams Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die in continuing to fool themselves into thinking the world wants to hear their unwelcome opinions. So congratulations dear listeners. this is all your fault.

What we need is an intervention.

<ITEM> As a special 100th birthday reward, The Dear Listeners have provided the twosome with a list of questions. You can guarantee that the important issues of the day will be cogitated over, digested and thoroughly dissected… there are so many quizzlers that we JUST HAD to call this Step Into The Quizzlertron, part 1! Comics Dialogue – John Ostrander, Del Close, Garth Ennis, Chris Ware, John Wagner, Wolverine deathcamp, Danny Beastman & Gary Lactenberg – where are we now?, Alex Ross, American Horror Story, Superhero movies, Jeff Goldblum, Gary eating eggs, Dr Strange movie – Burt Reynolds, Sam Elliott, Widescreen comics, Samuel L Jackson, Beano, Dennis The Menace, Early comics memories – missing Knight Rider tied to a tree, 2000AD, Ro-Busters, Secret Wars, Dredd mug, Flaming Carrot action figure, Comics day breakfast, Bob-Z, Ronin, Fantastic Four, Stan The Man Lee making breakfast, James from Twin Peaks made of plastic, Digital comics v analogue comics, Copra, indy vs superhero, Flaming Carrot, the rules of writing questions, Synth pop, Nu-Rom Antics, Lemmy, Keif Llam and so much more…