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Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Food Snobs

In the last 20 years the popularity of fine dining has surged due to endless celebrity chef's and TV cooking shows showing us commoners how to slap together a meal fit for a fucking French prince. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy food and love to cook but a side effect of this popularity has left a large population of "foodies" to believe that they are better than the average Briton. Terms such as "haute cuisine", "nouvelle cuisine" and "ones palate" are thrown around by these truffle sniffers in an attempt to prove that yes...they are better than the likes of you.

Eating out in restaurants used to be a leisurely activity, but this bastardisation of foodie pop culture has transformed an innocent past time into a social competition. The pursuit of good food is merely a front for foood snobs to stroke their own ego's and lord their vast knowledge of cuisine over people that are so ignorant that they use velveeta when its obvious they should be using aged cheddar. "Oh yahhh you simply haven't lived til you've eaten at Heston Blumenthal's restaurant and had the ducks brain jelly and venison ice cream". REALLY? Sounds fucking rank!

The food snob enjoys portion sizes that are frankly smaller than my penis, yet they cost more than a weeks supermarket shopping. HOW DID THAT FILL YOU UP? Restaurants that serve these pathetic sized portions are commiting daylight robbery on the unsuspecting foodie, as they realise that there is no limit on the price they can charge these oak smoked with a hint of Autumn wine quaffing morons in their pursuit of cultural elitism.

The food snob will only buy organic foods from select supermarkets, and will insist that they will not eat any produce that has not been grown in such a way. They also take great interest in the rearing of the animal that they're picking apart like vultures. "Yahhhh this lamb is simply delightful, it was reared in a beatiful field in Somerset and fed nothing but lemongrass and coriander". FUCK OFF!

Every day people compromise on their diet due to convenience and expense, this does not make them ignorant or in any way beneath you. There will always be those that try and stay ahead of the trends by discovering more prestigious/expensive ingredients, this definitely does not mean that the quality of your food is better.