The vegan blokes blog

What is up with humanity?

07 Jul 2017

Warning rant lots of swear words.
What the actual Fark is up with humanity?
- Schools running possum hunts
- Beastiality shops for men
- Young girls jeered at by rugby assclowns
I don’t know about you, but looking in my compassion purse for humanity, I am down to my last two farks and some change.
I can see why vegans become so depressed and renounce any kinship with our species. Deliberating on this cheese dick marathon of a dilemma, I think I have two options to follow:
A. The Yoda option: Withdraw to my vegan swamp planet with my two rescue cats, cool as fark vegan wife, focus on inner peace and Zen master my vegan force, occasionally train young vegan Jedi’s to change the world.
B. The Emperor Palpatine option: Manipulate the current system, overturn said farked system, and establish vegan order in the known galaxy, with my cloned vegan army.
Option B is looking good.
This week, I have been taking more woo saah breaths than usual, trying to put a lid on my fury. Occasionally, I get angry with vegans posting these pictures, but then I think fark that. Traumatic as it may be, I need to see this, witness and feel the righteous anger for the voiceless. I sincerely hope for change and soon, because when I see shit like that beastiality post, my solutions usually involve a 9mm bullet to the ball sacks.
There is one thing that I have an abundance of, and that is my love and admiration for all our animal rights heroes out there, who stand in the cold with placards or laptops, keep vigil outside slaughterhouses. Who take on injustice, head on, balls and all, while enduring the hate from the mindless sleepwalkers. Thank you…back to deep breathing, because deep breaths are like little love notes to your body…woo shaaah