Rated 5 / 5 stars2010-03-22 06:01:58

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars2010-03-22 05:41:56

I like this but...

Please, NO on the grey characters when showing the school. You can add some detail! They really don't fit. Also, it is very noticeable when the chairs aren't defined. So...define those chairs! Details count when making a high quality animation, and especially for a web series, it is important to imprint high quality in the first episode. I noticed at least two stock scenes - you can mix them up to make them, you know, different and to also show that a new day has come. Like, different weather, maybe have a date placed in a window so people can recognize that time has passed. Maybe in the class-room have someone absent, and also the people doing different things.

The jock can be much more muscly/defined...he looks kind of nerdy himself with the SWEATER VEST- maybe some sort of muscle shirt/sweatpants/headband to make it more apparent that he is, in fact, a jock, instead of a yuppie or a college professor...

The voice acting is great, but some of the script/jokes fall flat for me, like "my butt itches" - go for deeper comedy! Especially when things like martial arts fighting and kendo are discussed. Also, work on delivery for the jokes - it is highly important to make them sound funny/different than normal speech than to simply say them like the other speech. Practice speaking jokes to each other - if you find them funny (in the way that they are delivered) then the audience will find them funny. Just saying "my butt itches," especially after just fighting or whatever, isn't all that funny, honestly. Now, if he had said that after getting out of the hot tub or something, and then you panned to, I don't know, a crab crawling out of the water, then that would be more physical-verbal relational comedy. Framing the situation is very important.

The physical comedy was much stronger than the verbal jokes - I especially liked the bubble in the hot tub, that was well played with the expression on his face. These kinds of physical/visual cues are important.

Rated 5 / 5 stars2010-03-22 05:37:12

What a piece of Awesomeness.

I managed to get some stars to vote for this piece of awesomeness!
So, these students are at 7'th grade by the simple math they learnt in class!
Oh my! He was mas#^^# on his classmate! Well, good work!