The food and drink round-up

Black and fake tanIt's St Patrick's Day, of course, and spilling out of the usual faux “brands”, aka commercial Irish watering holes in the city, like Flanagan's and O'Neill's, will be thousands of Guinness-fuelled shamrock sporters.

There will be the usual Céad míle fáilte and everywhere you look plenty of craics and pogueing of mahones and yours. Even pubs like the Post Office on School Lane, abandon the no-music rule in favour of all-night piped diddly diddly. At Peter Kavanagh's there's nothing special planned “just a general piss up.” while over at Stamps in Crosby village there's Letters in Red presenting folkie stuff and some classic Irish tunes to get you in the St. Pad's mood. One unusual suspect for an early, after work Paddy's blow-out is Static at 23 Roscoe Lane, off Berry Street. The arty gallery space promise Irish stew, stout and whiskey from 5pm-8pm. Tel 0151 707 0770.

All this may not be New York or Dublin, admittedly, but by midnight you will be as Irish as Oscar Wilde, in the gutter but looking at the stars...

Delirium Tremens anyone?....Don't overdo it though, otherwise you could end up with Delirium Tremens. That's the name of strong golden ale being served by Candice and the crew at Delifonseca in Stanley Street, L2, this Friday night (March 20) when they will be presenting a Belgian beer and food beano.

Sliced cold meats and sausages, Chicken Waterzooi – that's poached free-range chicken with a rich creamy sauce - and Moules Mariniere are among the delights that will be accompanied by Belgian brews you may not have come across, Rodenbach Gran Cru (a refreshing red beer), Karmeliet Tripel (a malty abbey beer) and Rochefort 8 (a strong dark trappist beer) . There's some rich Belgian chocolate mousse for pudding with a dark cherry beer, but do save room for Hotchpotch, a Flemish oxtail stew. And that's nothing to do with having a cold, either.

All in, it's £39:50 a head, booking essential on 0151 255 0808.

Drunk as a skunkThe Fairfield offy Not Drunk Enough is in the news again, this time for prompting the ire of Sir Liam Donaldson who wants to charge 50p a unit for alcohol sold in the shops. Not Drunk Enough provides late night revellers in the binge capital with a carry-out after the bars have shut, is open till 4am and was once accused of paying cabbies £2.50 to bring fares there.

It's all causing a hell of a stink and, good to know that the media is on the case too. As reported this morning in the shocked press: “The Daily Post attempted to ring Not Drunk Enough several times but could get no answer.”

Has anyone rung an ambulance?

Cube cultureAnd speaking of ambulances, that exclusive VIP haunt for the beautiful people Cube, which opened last August with flash bulbs popping and a red carpet do, has been closed down for a fortnight, and the bouncers sacked after being described by police as, er, the most violent club in the city.

With emergency crews arriving more regularly than WKD lorries, glassings and two alleged rapes on the premises all being reported, violence reached unacceptable levels when CCTV footage captured up to 14 doormen attacking a lone punter. Allegedly.

Police officers compared the level of disorder to the violence once seen at clubs in the 1990s including Paradox, the 051 and The Buzz.

Except this time in Concert Square. You don't need a “mixologist” to tell you it's a match made in hell.

Nurse, the screensIt reminds us of a report in the Guardian 15 months ago, before the days of Liverpool Welcome, when their operative Stuart Jeffries came to Concert Square to investigate the drinking culture:

“At one point, I interview a swaying but beautiful woman in a nightclub queue who is dressed in a low-cut, short-skirted parody of a nurse's costume. We're getting on until I suggest that alcohol-fuelled narcissistic display is one of Liverpool's chronic diseases. She takes it personally. "Don't fucking judge me," she snaps. "This is the best party city in Britain, probably the world. I love it here and I wouldn't live anywhere else. So if you don't like the way I dress or the way I drink, you can fuck right off to wherever it is you come from."

That was some chat-up line about chronic diseases.

However she wasn't a real nurse. You know. Stuart.

Have you got the balls?£50 is a lot of meatballs and maybe a lot of money for the Halliwells Corporate Challenge.

Everybody loves an eating contest and now corporate teams of 10 are being invited to see how many they can swallow in the Filini Meatball Challenge. Compete against your colleagues and peers to become the Meatball Muncher of the Year – all to raise money for the JellyBean Appeal who make wishes come true for sick kids.

The Meatball Challenge first round heats begin on Friday 24th April, culminating in the Munch-Off final on Friday 8th May.

If you think you have what it takes, call Ben Ford or Samantha Lim on 0151 966 1464.

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As Sir Liam Donaldson is more responsible than anyone else for the closure of 39 pubs a week and the fragmentation of British society, he ought to be arrested and put on public trial for his crimes against the British traditions of beer and fags.

haha cube was a joke the market in livepool has always been controversial with concert square looking more like basra with every bottle (of which looking at the 3inch make up wearing girls helps make more slightly bareable) and mojo's being the only place where you can get a semi-decent drink well theres one other place but i haven't seen anything gracing your pages yet,Chameleon should be next on your list as it is a dimond in the rough

I would like to say a big thank you Liverpool Confidential for our night out to the Vagina Monologues and cocktails in Alma De Cuba - we had an absolutely fabulous time. the show was amazing and we were soooo looked after later at the Alma De Cuba by Nick. We all really enjoyed ourselves so cheers !