What is your Definition of Narcissism?

Not clinical, layman’s terms. What victims of emotional abuse think the term means?

I’m asking as I want to be certain I am understanding the dynamics of an emotionally abusive relationship where someone has been the victim of a ‘narc’. I come from being abused for many years, but I am not very fond of generalizations. It seems that ‘narc’ has almost become a term of convenience.

Are social media and selfies not highlighting an issue that has been around forever and placing it front-and-center in our daily lives?

Is taking a hundred selfies of yourself and posting them online not an expression of narcissism? This does not mean taking selfies is going to lead you to become an emotionally abusive partner in a relationship.

Clinical definitions are easy to come by. Dealing with a ‘narcissist’ is real, and a definition is the last thing on our minds. We try to process how someone who says they love us can treat us in this manner. This, even though we point out what they are doing to us is wrong.

My definition of a Narcissist and Narcissism

Someone who believes they are entitled to your life and time on a constant and never-ending basis.

Someone who believes they are superior to all other’s and people are on this earth to serve them and meet every one of their needs. They hate happiness and joy wherever it may manifest itself.

Someone who hates life.

Someone who lies to themselves in the sense they believe the universe revolves around them.

Someone who blames you for everything.

Someone who wants to provoke a response from you, be it positive or negative.

Someone who is with you because you are the best option at that point.

We all show signs of narcissism during our lifetimes, but at what point can I label someone a Narcissist if I have no proof of diagnosis as such?

The problem I have with the word ‘narcissist’ is it is very easy to use to label someone who is having a ‘behaviour off-day’. I said things to my ex which would have someone label me a narcissist when hearing these words within no frame of context.

Has ‘narcissist’ not become a term of convenience to label someone who says something within a relationship which is not looked on as a normal interaction between partners?

Am I a narcissist if just ‘my world’ revolves around me, and not the ‘entire world’?

Are narcissists are able to show empathy?

Most of what I have read about narcissists’ state they are incapable of empathy but I disagree.

Does a narcissist not gauge what you are thinking and feeling and use this against you in the relationship to keep you beholden to them. Is this not displaying empathy? Someone diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder knows exactly what their behavior does to you but don’t care about your feelings or thoughts on this.

We’ll look at how a narcissist thinks in future posts, and I’d love your feedback on your layman definition of narcissism in the comments section.