Sunday, June 22, 2008

Anybody watch this Show called Army Wives on Lifetime channel. I think it is amazing. Being a military wife I love when people try to tell our stories and do a good job at it. Military wives are military wives no matter what branch of service they are in. I know you are thinking does that stuff really happen. Well my answer is yes. I know a person that can fit most characters on the show. It is sad to say but one of them is me, I'll let you figure out which one it is. But going through this life on a daily basis and to see it broadcast is humbling.I pray that those watching will reach out to there friends, family, or co-workers that serve. Being a military family does not happen only on memorial day, veterans day or July 4th, it is everyday. But it seems like those are the only days normal/average americans are grateful. We live with bombings, loss of limbs, loss of children and husbands, uncertainty of when they come home or if they will come home. We deal with the traveling and the little amount of face time. We have to explain to our children why Dad is never at the school play or field trip. We have to explain why their best friend died or why their best friend has to move away. Gruesome, some may say but I say it is OUR LIVES. You can not lie to the children or hide the truth. They are extremely intelligent and pick up on our feelings and they listen when you think they are not. If you do anything today think of the children of all the soldiers, sailors, marines and airman that are serving. These little people can teach you a lot and make you realize that LOVE gets you past all the pain and sadness. They bring joy in the desert and on the homefront. Say a little prayer that they will be given a chance at a happy healthy and long life, long after they are out of the nest.God Bless our military and their families.Blessings

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I want to start off saying I am thankful to be a mother today especially of 4 happy healthy children, but along with that goes the stress of being the single mother at this point. Ryan is still gone, going on 3 weeks now and I am trying to keep everything in order while trying to give attention to all 4. I am managing to keep everything tidy and straightened up. I am working on getting the kids into a daily routine of dressing, making beds, breakfast and the other dozen things that come along with a house. But there are always battles amongst the children. That can be trying explaining why they can not do something. Or why we have to clean up. Parenting is definitely tough especially trying to do it alone with family 2000 miles away.

What I am missing is the comfort of another adult. The converstaions of another adult. I miss being asked "How was your Day". Courtney does a good job of trying to comfort me when I get lonely, her intentions are great but it is not Ryan or a close friend. I miss just being able to take a walk without worrying about who has the kids or are they in bed or just taking the walk in general. I am really feeling lonely these days. I would say that I wish things would go back to normal but is there ever normal with all the chaos that turns circles around us. I would like to be phoned, emailed and asked about me, not about the kids. Is that selfish? Maybe but I put all my energy into these 4 beings and this house and I feel I need to be wanted, eh.

Ryan calls but he doesn't really talk, he answers my questions. Weird? But that is the extent of our converstations. Boring, lonely and just plain ridiculous. Anybody got any ideas how to get him to talk when he is away. I have not figured it out yet.

So tonight I am just feeling lonely but I am not sure that is the correct word. Sad maybe, huh, unsure. WOW, just a rush of emotions.

So I just had to get it off my chest, Ryan is coming home on Monday and then Linda(MIL) will be here on Tuesday for a week. So there is light at the end of the tunnel.Blessings

Monday, June 16, 2008

Military life can be adventurous and exciting but it also can leave families worlds apart from each other. My family suffers from this more than we should. Although my husband does not have to go to Iraq, Qatar, or Afghanistan he must travel 10-18 days at a time sometimes twice a month. The hardest part is that it can be short notice, less than 5 hours notice. It can be very hard to plan anything that involves him knowing he may not be here. It has taken us 2 years to take a family photo at a studio because of this hardship. Frustrating!!!!I am getting more and more used to this traveling. The kids are getting more and more immune to Dad. They have learned to lean on Mom for almost everything. WOW, I never planned for my kids to go straight to mom without even thinking about Dad. I wonder what effect this is going to have on them as they get older. Now what I did not tell you is that this traveling has been going on like this since August 2005 and will continue until April of 2010. A long time for a child not to have a steady father. A long time for a mother to put up with all the everyday chores, bills, practices, field trips, shopping, cleaning, laundry and yard work. I know this could be worse but looking at this I wonder how many NON-military families stop to think about the thousands of families that are sacrificing something for them. Yes our military members are fighting but whatever happened to helping out the families that are left behind?We bear the brunt of the drama, heartache, loneliness and explainations to the youngins. We miss many holidays, birthdays, Special days and many many extracurricular events. I am used to it but I never like it nor do I like the side effects it leaves behind. Say a little prayer tonight for all those families that are struggling and all those children that don't completely understand what their fathers and mothers are doing and why they have to keep leaving. God Bless

So Ryan has been in Europe for 15 days. He came home on Friday only to have to leave again EARLY saturday morning. So I had the kids make Fathers day cards while he was gone. Friday we decided would be OUR FATHERS DAY since he would be home. The kids picked the breakfast Menu the day before and were given strict instructions to let daddy sleep since he was coming in late that night. Did it happen????????????

Daddy, daddy says Ryker at 6:50am. So much for sleeping in! I decided I needed to get up and get cooking because we had an appt at 9:30 that morning for Riley and Ryker. Ryan had plans to go the library, education office and bank. So the kids and I got up fixed breakfast and Ryan came down and we had a nice family breakfast since the kids last day of school was Thursday. It was nice. Lots to talk about since we had not seen him in over 2 weeks.

WE proceeded to clean up, take showers get dressed oh, and we had to do the PRESENT ritual.(OTS, Ryan always brings each of a special gift from all the places he travels. The minute we are home and the luggages are unpacked they are chomping at the bit to see what he has for them).Anyways we go to our appt and all those other places. The kids insist on going to the pool so they can show him the progress they are making with swimming and diving or front flipping. We spent 2 hours playing and wearing ourselves out.

Ryan gets the grand idea to come home and get out the slip n slide that he has not seen since I bought it while he was in the EU. The kids and Ryan have a blast racing and playing. Guess what, Mommy was forced to race Daddy too. Hello, grass in the suit, yuck!!! It was fun though.

Then the kids love to go to dinner the night Daddy is first home so we tried a new restaurant on the water. It was fun, I had gumbo and shrimp creole, YUMMMMM!!!

So Friday was a great Fathers day but then we wake up Saturday morning to Daddy gone again.

Sunday is here and we must spend the without him. Being a military family I am so far away from my own father and stepfather. It can be tough.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

WOW, summer is finally here. This week the kids are finishing up with school. Courtney had a field trip to Bladensburg Waterfront Park and Junior had a field trip to Universoul circus. Tomorrow Riley, Ryker and I will go with Riley's pre-k class on a D.C. Duck tour in an amphibious vehicle. It should be a lot of fun.

Ryan is currently TDY to Europe until next week. He will come home and leave back out 24 hours later. Then he will be out for another 10 days here in the U.S.

So our weather has been one for the books. As you know we are in D.C. and severe weather does not happen very often. We have had more than 3 days of severe weather this week alone. Yesterday was 4 different storms that spawned several tornadoes in our metro area. It reminded me of springtime in Texas.

As for me just doing the mom thing. I have a special party on friday night for a babysitter of mine who has been amazing over the summer. I have been just doing laundry and dishes and cooking for my babies. Hanging out with Ryker in the garden and watching the kids on the Slip and Slide. Also I took the kids to the pool too. All in all it has been a very busy yet fun week.