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Friday, May 7, 2010

I've been meeting weekly with a wonderful group of women who are truly inspirational. The group will end in three short weeks and I'm sad to see it be over. I do feel tremendously blessed to have had this opportunity at a time when life made very little sense to me. It still doesn't make a lot of sense but I have a heightened awareness of exactly where my hope lies. It's ALL in God's hands and He has promised that EVERYTHING will work for my good if I love him. That is what I told Him in that little shower stall at Cook Children's hospital in Fort Worth the night before Hannah died. I told Him that I wanted her with me but that if he needed her I would let her go and I would still love Him. I still love my Hannah, I still love my God, and because I do there is hope.

One of our tasks this week for the group was to imagine an ideal day and to write it. I thought it would be difficult to do but I did it in just a few minutes. I'm sharing it here only because I think it would be a great exercise for anyone to do and would encourage you all to give it a try. Just let it flow and see what happens. Also, because so much of my "ideal day" was about Hannah's life I thought it would be appropriate to share. Remember we were allowed to imagine the day and there were no limits. I have a very active imagination. :)

Marcey’s Ideal Day

Koolio is at my feet as I awaken to this glorious day. I have a few minutes before my alarm goes off so I snuggle in close to my honey and enjoy the protected feel of being in his arms. My alarm rings letting me know it’s time to get up and going. I grab a cup of coffee, my journal, and Koolio and we head out to the deck. As I am entertained by Koolio’s antics with our backyard wildlife, I journal about life and memories of my Hannah. I pull myself from my writings to get busy with the day at hand. Today I have a board meeting and we’ll award grants to families of children with epilepsy and autism as well as special needs teachers for much needed aids. Among those aids will be cooling vests, seizure sleep monitors, wireless video baby monitors, service dog supplies, adaptive equipment, and other misc. needs. Before that meeting I have a session with the neurological staff at a Children’s hospital to train them how to communicate best with the families of their patients. Besides the training I will ask for input on what parents can do to help their child’s neurological team treat them successfully. Eating lunch alone is not happening today. I get to meet a dear friend who inspires me every time we meet. Our lunch is no disappointment and I’m ready for my afternoon. I’m meeting with a new family. I always enjoy those first meetings and the relief I see on the faces of mothers when they realize I can offer them resources and direction. The best part of my day is getting to meet their fabulous kiddos and spending some time with them. After a full day I return home to spend the evening with my family. When everyone is winding down I go to my home office, climb on the window seat with my laptop and do some researching or writing while peeking at the star filled sky. As I retire for the night I think about how fortunate I am to be living this life. Hannah’s life continues to inspire people; I get to use my love for learning, teaching, and my first hand experience with special needs. I’m in awe of how God orchestrated it all and remember, Romans 8:28 and we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose.

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Hannah & Koolio

Hannah in hospital and Koolio helping her feel better

Hannah's Story

Hannah is a 7 yr old little girl who has epilepsy, autism, mild cerebral palsy, SID, and CLD. She attends school where she is in a special needs classroom. She receives occupational, physical, and speech therapy. Hannah is confined to home a lot due to respiratory illness’s and in the summer due to lack of body temperature control, a side effect of her seizure medication. None of which can keep her down. She's one strong little girl. I think you'll enjoy getting to know her...

Koolio

Email from Koolio...(Hannah's service dog)

Hannah, Yoda here with my friend Koolio who wants to speak with you. He is a pretty cool dude that Koolio and you are so lucky he is going to be your partner!

Hey Hannah,

Koolio here! How are ya girl? I am so excited we are partners! I feel like I already know you because I have been getting to know how you smell. I have been working so very hard to be your best friend and help out when you need me. I want to sleep in your room, and even though I am a guy, well you can play dress up with me if you want to and I am sure I can sit through a tea party or two. Whatever you want to do is fine by me. I am just glad to be with you! Hurry up and come here to Ohio because I am waiting for you! Counting the minutes..... xoxoxoxoxoxo Koolio