There was no bigger jerk in sports this week than big mouth Mike Vick, who doled out unwanted career advice for Colin Kaepernick Monday.

We officially live in the Twilight Zone now that luminaries such as Britt McHenry and Vick have license to tell Kaepernick how to act. (Now that O.J. Simpson is out, it's just a matter of time before he weighs in on the subject, too, right?)

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During an appearance on FS1's "Speak For Yourself," Vick should have heeded the advice of the show's title and not told Kaepernick to cut his hair if he wants to play in the NFL again. Instead, Vick's message to Kaepernick was to lose the Afro, make himself presentable to owners, and essentially dance if he wants a contract.

Mike Vick has no license to tell anyone how to act. (Frank Franklin II/AP)

In the five days since, Vick has repeatedly apologized for his comments.

"At the end of the day, what I said, I should have never said. I think it was taken out of context in regards to what I was trying to convey, but I only want to help Kaepernick," Vick said Thursday on "The Dan Patrick Show."

"I'm not a general manager, I'm not the guy who makes the decisions on getting him signed and I'm truly sorry for what I said. I think I should have used a better choice of words," Vick said. "Obviously his Afro has nothing to do with him being signed, and I wasn't trying to relay that message. … It was more so about helping him at the end of the day. In all my interviews, all I have ever tried to do is help him and talk positive."

Kaepernick remains unemployed, leading some players to question if he's being blackballed because of his anthem protest last season. He has become the most polarizing player in sports since Vick was busted running a violent dogfighting ring.

But that's where the comparisons should end. Out of respect for Kaepernick and everyone else in the world who does not beat and torture and kill dogs, Vick's so-called toxicity should never, ever be compared to what Kaepernick is dealing with.

Colin Kaepernick. (Marcio Jose Sanchez/AP)

Vick didn't do his time. He did time, yes, but let's remember he took a plea deal and avoided animal cruelty charges and served some time, just part of what he had coming to him. He went to jail for 20 months instead of six years. So let's chill with the he-did-his-time hall pass.

Vick was permitted to spend the final two months of his sentence in his Virginia mansion. He missed two years of football only because he was sitting in a jail cell, not because teams were hesitant to give him a job. Once he was eligible to return to the NFL, he didn't have to wait very long at all.

Before anyone compares how toxic Vick was in 2009 to how difficult it has been for Kaepernick, understand this: Kapernick has been without a contract since he opted out of his 49ers deal in March, nearly four months longer than Vick had to wait for a deal.

Vick was released from prison July 20, 2009. By Aug. 13, he was signed by the Eagles. Toxic just isn't what it used to be. Vick was radioactive for less time than it takes you to binge "Orange is the New Black" on Netflix.

So yeah, Vick had it tough for a minute. He was polarizing for a hot second, compared to what Kaepernick is dealing with. Sadly, we are reminded yet again that the NFL is more forgiving of people who beat and torture and kill animals than those who take a knee for a song.

Doing some time and paying a price for truly horrific acts of violence don't earn Vick license to tell anyone how to act. He forfeited that right long ago, and only a jerk would ever try to reclaim it.

LaVar Ball with son Lonzo. (Michael Owen Baker/AP)

SPINNING BALL

LaVar Ball was in the news again this week because he was caught on video scolding his son LaMelo in front of his teammates — and rolling video cameras — after a recent poor performance. Ball lit into his son for playing soft, for not hustling, among other things, and naturally, LaVar's critics and defenders were out in full force to offer various takes on his parenting skills.

If there's one thing Ball cannot be criticized for, it's the way he raises his kids. Love him or hate him, you can't argue with the position Ball's put his three sons in. No father can. The problem with Ball is that his explosive comments and idiotic behavior chip away from what he's accomplished and will forever make him a joke.

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There are far worse sports parents out there. Look no further than NHL player Jack Johnson's parents, who defrauded their own son out of millions of dollars. Or what about Jason Groome's dad? The Red Sox prospect's father was recently arrested for allegedly selling cocaine, heroin, meth, and guns in New Jersey.

By comparison, LaVar Ball isn't even a fraction of the kind of jerk those parents are. Ball said he could beat Michael Jordan in one-on-one and, fair or not, he will forever be vilified worse than the sports parents who steal millions from their kids or allegedly sell guns and drugs.

Ezekiel Elliott. (Tom Pennington/Getty Images)

PATH OF THE RIGHTEOUS MAN

Finally, is there a bigger jerk than Ezekiel Elliott? Because it takes a truly classic, Grade-A jerk to allegedly get involved in a bar brawl, whether he is to blame or not, while still under NFL investigation for domestic violence. Of course, this is the same person who, while under that very same investigation, celebrated St. Patrick's Day this year by pulling a woman's shirt down and exposing her breast at a public event.

We do not know if Elliott is guilty of any of the crimes hanging over his head. But for someone living under that kind of microscope, Elliott sure seems guilty of being an extreme jerk for not insulating himself from troublesome situations. Luckily, the NFL does not suspend players simply for being jerks.