This week we take to figuring out how to get animation pre-shoots happening in time for the main video shoot hopefully by end Nov (or early dec) . In the meanime, I shall be praying to all superhumans, gods and psychic spiders that this happens according to schedule.

Oh…and my manager has convinced a very cool principle to let his choir sing about cults and murders. YAY – All part of the glorious, epic efforts of finishing this monster of an album.

So it’s back to Your Royal Madness’s attempts to distract/entertain minions with blog posts….while the album continues with it’s journey at glacial speeds and she STILL isn’t allowed to talk about it. She will, however, see about getting some snippets on site, or maybe play them via a vlog, if she can manage to hide the overall concept while doing so. 😛

** End news flash**

In my last post I mentioned that it was quite a pity that most of female related horror had gone the way of Sadako and I had some to add from Singapore, which is pretty much where I grew up. A lot of it is pretty much oral history, from neighbours, grandma, family etc and rather than have it ferment and mutate at the back of my brain from forgetting, it’s good I get to place them here.

The culture/ background of these tales:

I grew up in the far northern parts of Singapore, where, compared to the rest of the island, was quite underdeveloped. It meant that I was still living within walking distances to the last remaining Malay Villages (aka. Kampungs) until I was in my early teens. Dad used to be able to take us into the villages so we could have a look at village life, we had a great time exploring empty atap houses, broken down schools and old chinese/malay graves…oh..and we always could buy the freshest vegies.

No, we don’t eat things that grow on graves, I can hear you you know.

Oh…and did I mention, “The goat ate my homework” would be an excuse worth trying, given that goats really did crowd around the bus station where I waited at to go to school. (Though most times, I got rides from Dad) Also, if you listened carefully to the old men gathered at the nearby coffee houses, you would understand that they were verbal curators to some very strange tales which was always good fodder for a very young brain. Then the villages got torn apart and replaced by army bunkers which basically broke my pre-pubescant heart.

Of course, these villages still exist on a sister island called Palau Ubin and some rare parts of Singapore and I’m thinking a visit to these places have been long overdue.

I hail from a Chinese family that had been living in South East Asia for awhile — 3 generations from Dad’s end, 4 generations from Mom’s – who moved from Malaysia to Singapore. (Actually I think one of my grandmothers might be a Strait Chinese – which probably means one of my ancestors married a Malay – not sure – it might explain some of my features. From memory she was always wearing the Strait Chinese garment…who knows? I tried asking, but never quite got a straight answer. I am increasingly curious too…)

Like many Chinese families that settled in South East Asia, eventually, you mix DNA, cultures languages and spiritual beliefs. In my case, we become very familiar with the Malay, Chinese, Indian and Western realms of ghouls, demons and other supernatural in-betweens. Not too surprising to find that we share alot of ghostly equivalents with our South East Asian neighbour, Thailand as well, since tales do travel and ghosts are assumed to be a bit less aerodymamically challenged. Video below is an overview of some of the best ghouls in South East Asia.

In many cultures, the definition between demons and ghouls blur after awhile. These beings I will mention here are no Sadako. Since Sadako is like Spice Girls for ghouls and is about to die the gruesome death of media exposure, these ghosts will trump her on the scary ratings simply because they are not her. IMHO of course.

I shall start with Malay ghosts first…because they are my favourite on the gory/scary scale. You might soon see why. The source of stories come from the elders in the family and 3 brothers who have gone to serve in the army (which is apparently a hotspot for hauntings or major nightime hallucinations), oh and the internets. I could send you the best forum links for these things, but they are coated with a strong dose of the local lingo – which, unless you speak Singlish, Hokkien,Mandarin and some bits of Malay, is guaranteed to sound like absolute gibberish.

And if you must go to the source to see for yourself. This is a good one to try but I wish you luck. Kyochiro’s Ghostly Tales. is, without doubt, my absolute favourite.

Otherwise you might want to let your Royal Madness play your guide on these matters.

Like most oral records, it is in the nature of folklore to behave like crazy DNA with jumping genes -These tales do not quite stay as one ultimate CORRECT version – but rather, come in variety packs that point to some general idea of story. So bear with me while I try not to confuse you. yeah? Here’s 4 of my favourites.

Pregnant Ghosts

Ghosts that return to attack nearby villagers, pregnant women and children because they died of childbirth and are generally pissed off about what they cannot have. Sad really 🙁 Malay ghosts have a common association with a flower named “Frangipani” and if they are anything to go by, you will fear them after these tales as well.

Name: Pontianak (full name according to this site is : Hantu Pompuan Mati Anak) Pet names include : Miss P, Cik PonThe Bad Google translate will say:
Hantu = Ghost
Pompuan = Female
Mati = Dead
Anak = Child
therefore = “Ghost Female dead child”The locals will say: Female who died at child birth.Etymology: MalayGrudge:Version 1: Died during childbirth, seeks revengeVersion 2: Abused by male associates, seeks revengeVersion 3: Did not get enough pre-natal care, died as a result, seeks revengeHollywood equivalent: Vampire-like/ Vengeful spiritsHabitat :Banana trees, or in Tree tops.Feeds on: (Different versions different diet) Nearby villagers. Your internal organs// Blood of other newborns// Blood of pregnant women
Looks like:Pre attack : A beautiful woman, in white. Long hair. (Long hair is a pre-requisite in most female ghosts), In scarier versions, they are shapeshifters.Attack Mode: Scary, old wrinkly with long black nails, long fangs.Smells like: Arrival heralded by strong smell of frangipanies, which slowly turn to smell of rot when you get too close

Sounds like: Arrival is heralded by dog howling or a baby’s crySpecial Attack Move:
– Digs nails into your gut, makes spaghetti out of your intestines. Loves internal organs.If after revenge on certain male individual: will rip out/ devour sexual organs…ouch.
– Locates prey by smell of clothes – that’s why it’s a bad idea for clothes to be left out to dry overnight. Also said to be able to respond to specific invitations.Can we tame it?: YES WE CAN!
Driving a nail into the back of the neck, where the feeding hole is, will turn it back into a beautiful woman. It will even live normal lifetimes as nice wifey. (Gotta keep the nail in though, removal of nail causes a resurgance of organ eating tendencies.Can we frighten it?: YES WE CAN, she’s apparently afraid of naked women. So erhm…when you see a multi-fanged woman after you with long nails. Ladies…you got the power. Gentlemen…RUN.

Name: LangsuirGender: FemaleEtymology: MalayThe Bad Google translate will say: NAThe locals will say: Female who died at child birth. – Similar to PontianakGrudge: Died from post natal depression, or specifically dying earlier than 40 days after birth (esp bad because 40 days after birth is considered the “unclean” period in the culture. Some variations say that the tendencies to become a Langsuir is genetic. – passed down from the female side to later generations like mitochondrial DNAHollywood Equivalent: Banshee/ Vampire Hybrid — variation of Pontianak.Habitat :Tree tops forestsFeeds on: More specialised – loves blood.Looks like: (There are many versions of this)Pre attack : Owl with giant claws./ Woman with long beautiful green robe

Attack Mode: Ugly, long nails, red eyes etc.Smells like: Arrival heralded by strong smell of frangipanies, which slowly turn to smell of rot when you get too closeSounds like: Arrival is heralded by the sound of babies crying.Special Attack Move:
Acts like a blood parasite – possesses the victim and drinks their blood from inside out – involves long painful death. (Sexualise THIS Twilight! – then again….maybe not. Maybe never…erhmm…please don’t. The last thing I need is a glittering Langsuir)
Can fly, shrieks like a banshee.Can we tame it?: YES WE CAN!
Break off the teeth and hair of the langsuir and shove the mixture into the feeding hole, also at back of neck. Will live normal lifetimes as nice wifey. I’ve heard legends that tell of a Langsuir living amongst normal homo sapiens for a good long and then turning back to her true form when she dislodged her teeth/hair mixture in some random ancient dance party.Can we prevent it?: (other than making sure that women get the best post-natal care possible) YES WE CAN!
Stuff eggs under armpit (prevents her from flight) , marbles in mouth, needles in palms. All these reduce post death aero-dynamism. In many versions, the dead woman suddenly re-animates, becomes an owl and flies away. Then returns at night to feed. Other versions, dead woman re-animates, flaps arms and flies. No owl-ey transformations.

(Other versions to confuse us with: in some Indonesian versions, the Langsuir is said to be the “Vampire” mother while the “Pontianak” is said to be the stillborn of the Langsuir)

Detachables…More than meets the eye.

My late grandmother mentioned these after a long badger-badger-badger-tell-me-a-ghost-story-prettyprettyplease session, although I didn’t know the name of this ghost at the time of the stories…).

Gender: Female ( there is a unisex equivalent, might mention more later) Etymology: Malay, Thailand, Cambodia, sighted/mentioned in much of South East AsiaThe Bad Google translate will say:
Hantu = Ghost
Penanggalan = DismantlementThe locals will say: Ghost that separates.Grudge: Was some holy woman/ priestes – Broke her neck in shock because someone ninja-ed into her abode while she was meditating. Apparently, while soaking serenely in a vinegar Vat, a man popped in, and asked her what she was doing. In extreme shock, she jerked her head upwards so violently that her head came out along with rest of internal organs. She is afterwards (understandably so) pissed off as hell.
Some legends have it that the detachable head thing happens when women (why is is always women) spend too much time drinking young virgin blood/ practicing black magic. Never really said why, but maybe a magical non-wrinkley existence probably draws resources from other parts of the body, weakens neck-spinal cord muscle connection. etc etc….Something of note: Apparently vinegar soaking features quite abit in purification rituals.Hollywood Equivalent: Pissed off Ghost/ DemonHabitat : Normal houses/ Lairs (depending on the version)Feeds on: When desperate, will not be picky. Otherwise, listed in order of prefences
1) blood of little kiddies
2) pregnant women.
Looks like:Pre-attack mode: Older yet beautiful woman, smells strongly/ slightly of vinegar.Attack mode: Has fangs, not 2, but an ENTIRE Mouthful. (sexualise THIS Twilight!!)Head: Head detaches with entrails and internal organs trailing. Does not look very aerodynamic but is able to fly around entrails and allBody:When headless, is weak and vulnerable to attack/ normal decomposition (it is said that pre-detachment, the spirit/demon will soak the body in vinegar, keeping it from oxidising furtherSmells like: Arrival heralded by strong smell or vinegarSounds like: screaming womenSpecial Attack Move:
Has fangs, shrieks alot before drinking victims’s blood.
Her entrail’s juices (eek!) cause sores and diseases, also cause weed growth and the growth of a thorny plant, jeruju. You can find her lair by following a line of Jeruju’s pointing to her place of rest
Entrails also strangle/ constrict victim Cobra style.Can we tame it?: NO WE CAN’TCan we prevent it?: YES WE CAN! This is why your mother told you not to sneak up on people. You can prevent her attack on little kiddies by using thorns from jeruju grown from her own entrail juice. Lace doorways with it. There are versions that say that she can get around that by coming up under floorboards. Grandma’s version: she can get you by crawling up through erhm…sewage portals.How violating.Can we kill it?: YES WE CAN!!
Hear headless body is the weakest part of her. Find her lair, mix crushed garlic into her vinegar vat, where her detached torso rests. Instant kill.

Note: I know heaps more detachables. My favourite species. They are SO like biological Constructicons from the way they detach and reassemble bodyparts. *love* Contemplating an entire post devoted to the detachables — If minions request.

Ghosts with very un-streamlined appendages

Ok, I planned to keep the post to ghosts with grudges, but really, the 2 below are too funny/ scary to not mention.

No one pays homage to appendages more than the lore of these ghosts. These species of ghosts own appendages that are actually portals to the other world. I’m really REALLY trying to keep a straight face and replacing some words so that this post doesn’t become NSFW. (Which, given that some of you are reading this from work, this post is SFW)

Looks like:
A woman with huge double D..mammaries that will dwarf the most stupendous breast enlargement attempts…except that they grow on her back (yes just directly above her arse)
Mammaries are also eternally rotting, overcrowded with maggots.Smells like: UnknownSounds like: NA

Special Attack Move:Short version: Death by BOOOBS!!! Devours like a giant MacrophageLong version:

Her breasts are rumoured to be portals to the mythical world. Unlike, human mammaries, her appendages are apparently highly mascular and can hide/ squash her victims to death. Also, when the death is complete, her nipples are said to “unite into one”. ( No I am not making this up….I can still hear you you know.)
It is said that she comes out in the evenings, goes for young men and little children, and literally “absorbs” them with her boobs, like a giant humanoid Macrophage. Her victims literally disappear into her boobs while she runs off at the high
speeds – before Dr Who uses her bits to improve his TARDIS’ inter-dimention space travel capabilitiesCan we tame it?: NoCan we prevent it?: NoCan we kill it?: NoWhat then?: Don’t go out wandering at night.- You can see how she’s the perfect bogeywoman for little kiddies who don’t return home in time for dinner. Not sure about the young men bit though.

Note: Would love to credit the hilarious drawing of Hantu Tetek but found it on forums that google linked to

Now to be fair, the male version (Bonus ghost since I said I was only going to do 4)

Name: Hantu KoteGender: MaleEtymology: MalayThe Bad Google translate will say (unnecessary bad PG translation so sad) :
Hantu = Ghost
Kote = KoteThe locals will say: Testicle GhostGrudge: No known.Hollywood Equivalent: BogeymanHabitat : Unknown – Comes out in the evenings.Feeds on: I’m guessing little childrenLooks like: Ghost with Huge testicles that hang off like a tumorous kangaroo pouch. Appendages are said to be rotting and filled with maggots.Smells like: Possibly RotSounds like: NASpecial Attack Move:
Short version: Death by TEABAG!!!
Long: His testicals are also rumoured to be portals to other worlds. Also unlike normal humans, his appendages are apparently highly mascular and can hide/ squash his victims to death.
It is said that he comes out in the evenings, goes for young men and little children, and literally “absorbs” them with his privates. A fast moving creature, he escapes faster than the speed of light – before NASA captures him and uses his bits as a teleportation devise, after the deed is done.Can we tame it?: NoCan we prevent it?: NoCan we kill it?: NoWhat then?:
“Don’t go around tonight,
Well, it’s bound to take your life,
There’s a bad moon on the rise.”

This post is brought to you by Your Royal Madness, who hopes that her minions will have sweet dreams thereafter. She also wants to let her minions know that this is dangerous territory for everyone and if you don’t stop her, she will post more articles just like these — she genuinely thinks they are educational and good for your psychological health

She also says “HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!” and wants pictures if minions intend to dress like the above described ghouls