Don’t be intimidated by the title: I don’t plan on writing 1,000 words each blog! (I get paid more to draw stuff.) It’s more symbolic than literal. I’ll shoot for half that, give or take a hundred or more.

Thanks for stopping by and joining me on my maiden voyage. I promise I won’t capsize the boat. At least not yet.

My goal here is to entertain, enlighten and educate, tho not always in that order.

And lest you think this will be just another collection of rambling, subliterate sludge or ranting, barking bile like most blogs, I actually have a plan and a direction. And yes, unlike most artists I am able to rub two syllables together to get a fire of coherent thought going…at least for a few paragraphs!

The idea is to not only talk about art (and Art) but a myriad of subjects and how they relate to it. I’ll be (naturally) taking an artist’s view of things and show you how an artist might see and think of various things differently than the “normal” person. Some will be things that tick me off, others will be amusing (yes, like a clown), others just snacks for thought. If you learn something, laugh or think, this will be a success. (Okay, if you order a commission from me or any of the amazing artists on Wednesday’s Heroes, it’s more of a success. So think about it! At least I’m honest.)

I do welcome and encourage comments, corrections, opinions and suggestions. Just add your comment here or email me at blog@schismcomics.com. The latter is faster as my browsers and peepers don’t get along too well with the site but I will check in at least once a week..which means I plan on blogging at least weekly (not weakly) until I can enlarge my creative prostate and am able to urinate my stream of consciousness more frequently.

Some of the topics I intend to cover include:

“Talent”–what it means, why I’m insulted by it and why it’s mostly B.S.

The difference between “art” and “Art”

B/W or Color—is one better?

“How-to”s: I’ll give some instructions on techniques, drawing, storytelling, publishing and more

“Mr. Faulty”: I’ll highlight some very common mistakes made by too many artists

Comics vs. “Fine” Art: why the latter is no better than the former

Current vs. historical attitudes and observations

“Fine” Art vs. Commercial art: Why the former is more often the latter

What exactly is storytelling?

Penciling, Inking, Coloring and Lettering: why it’s all art…usually

The difference between Art and Illustration

Which is more important in comics: writing or art?

And, as they say in infomercials, much, much more!

Sounds cool, right? Some of it will be controversial, some educational and some just goofy. It’s easy–and quite liberating–being an opinionated wanker but not as much fun as being an irreverent clown performing verbal pratfalls. Unfortunately, most people don’t get that it’s harder to be funny than serious, so they don’t give much respect to comedy (especially in comics, where it’s referred to as “humor”, because most pros and fans wouldn’t know funny if it landed in their shorts and hummed the Star Spangled Banner). Therefore, I’ll be mixing the serious crap with the yellow metal of funny. (“Gold, Jerry…GOLD!!”)

As you can see, there will be numerous pop culture references, some Dennis Miller-obscure, others punfully and painfully obvious. As always, keep me aboob (see?) of how I’m doing, what ya like and what ya don’t. I may tell you to jump in a loch of ink but I will still appreciate your time and effort in responding. And I’m actually a nice guy so no personal insults. You can post here (tho I may not check in more than once a week) or email me directly at mike

@tvboardz.com

My time’s up for now; come back in seven days and see what I’ve got! My foot may be in my mouth, my pen may be fighting someone’s sword or I may be tickling your funny bone. Whatever it is, I promise to be unique and hopefully make it worth your valuable time.