Week in Sloth

The Week in Sloth

Thursday 13

“Bordertown: Laredo” (A&E 8 p.m.) A&E’s new docureality show follows the men and women of the Laredo Texas Police Department as they battle against Mexican drug smugglers and provide fuel for paranoid tea party xenophobes nationwide.

Stunt Rock (TCM 12 a.m.) You owe it to yourself to see this legendary Australian drive-in classic from 1980. Crap writer/director extraordinaire Brian Trenchard-Smith (Leprechaun 4: In Space, Tyrannosaurus Azteca, Megiddo: The Omega Code 2, Dead End Drive-In, Escape 2000, BMX Bandits) is responsible for this episodic story of a stuntman (actual Australian stuntman Grant Page) who moves to Los Angeles and lends his pyrotechnical expertise to a KISS-esque heavy metal band (actual hyper-theatrical L.A. band Sorcery).

Saturday 15

“Welcome to Sweetie Pie’s” (OWN 7 p.m.) If Oprah wants to conquer all of television, she’s gonna have to do it with more innovative shows than “yet another restaurant-based docureality show.” Hey, Oprah, how about a badly scripted “reality” show about a towing company? Now that’s cutting-edge cable TV.

“Man Up!” (KOAT-7 7:30 p.m.) For ABC’s newest sitcom, three dudes in various stages of romantic entanglement struggle to figure out what it means to be a man in today’s modern world. Translation: Lots of jokes about “manscaping” and “metrosexuals.”

“Scream Awards 2011” (Spike 7 p.m.) When will the Oscars add a Most Memorable Mutilation award? This year’s favorite: the immortal “penis bitten off, then vomited up by piranha” scene from Piranha 3D.