Sunday, June 17, 2007

The eighth, and final, episode of Celebrity Fit Club began at the same track stadium as did the first episode. Dustin Diamond was being a super-bitch as usual and said that he wasn’t going to over-exert himself. As he had many times previously, Diamond was dead weight to his team. He said, “I’m not giving it my all… I could do more, but I don’t think I’m gonna.”

Maureen McCormick was upset with Diamond and asked him to not give up. Diamond replied, “It’s not giving up, it’s quitting.” Diamond appeared to be enjoying piss off his teammates by quitting. Diamond claimed that Maureen selfishly wanted Diamond to continue in the track events. He said, “You wanted me to go for your benefit.” As Maureen pled with Diamond to continue competing, Diamond rudely said to Maureen, "I feel like you're trying to talk me into bed."

Diamond subsequently threatened to screw over his team by not showing up at the season finale’s weigh-in. Diamond said, “I could not show up tomorrow and everybody is screwed.” Maureen said, “Dustin pissed me off. This is the last event and he’s walking away.”

Harvey called Diamond a "cockroach" and said he had hardly any respect for him. Da Brat mentioned, “Boy, if I see him on the street, I’m gonna have to fuck him up.”

Diamond told Ross the Intern that he managed to keep to the strategy he laid out in the first episode (i.e., of losing weight despite eating crap and not working out). Ross replied, “You also managed to make seven other people not like you very much.”

At the end of the track and field segment, Diamond said, “Am I an ass because of the way I deliver the truth or am I an ass because I speak the truth?” Diamond also said, “I would rather eat a turd than come back to another Fit Camp. It doesn’t even have to be a human turd … just a turd.” It was unclear as to whether Diamond would eat a turd unleashed by fellow washed-up celebrity Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding from Saved by The Bell).

Next, the entire cast was shown in the weigh-in room for the final time. During Kimberly Locke’s weigh-in, Kimberley complained about Diamond’s behavior on the show. Diamond was clearly annoyed, as he kept making faces while Kimberley was talking.

Diamond was the last person to be weighed. When Ant called his name to walk up to the scale, Diamond said, “D-man walking … that’s the truth.” Apparently that comment was meant to be funny, but nobody was laughing. Diamond had a good weigh-in, losing 13 pounds, mostly likely due to the fat burners he admitted to taking during the previous episode’s weigh-in ceremony.

When Dr. Ian Smith told Diamond he should try to lose weight in a healthier manner, Diamond became very combative in an almost childlike way. Diamond claimed that Smith was upset that he lost so much weight by eating crap because that would somehow hurt the sales of Smith’s diet books.

Stacey Kaiser, the show’s psychotherapist, told Smith not to argue with Diamond because Diamond was nothing more than an “isolated, lonely guy.”

A video clip of Diamond making fun of Da Brat and Cledus Judd was subsequently played. Diamond wore a wig that resembled Princess Leia’s hairdo from Star Wars (it was supposed to resemble Da Brat) and pretended to be Da Brat. He said, “All I know is my nuts is killing me.”

Diamond subsequently put on another wig and pretended to be Cledus. The Cledus wig had only a few hairs on it and was apparently meant to poke fun at the hair plugs that Cledus appears to have gotten during the course of the season. While pretending to be Cledus, Diamond said, “[I] got my plugs… You got ta do it… Don’t get me talking about my daughter … my daughter! Waahaa!!!” Diamond also did some fake crying to make fun of Cledus’ typical fragile emotional state.

Cledus was irate with Diamond and stood up and started walking toward the scale. Cledus said, “Fuck you! … You’re a loser, Dustin.” Meanwhile, Harvey said to Cledus, “He ain’t worth it. This piece of shit is out of here!” During this exchange that Diamond completely provoked, Diamond started complaining about a “hostile work environment” and said, “My lawyer is gonna be on the phone immediately.”

Everyone was up in arms with Diamond’s childish and unprovoked attacks on Cledus and Da Brat. Stacey Kaiser said, “It wasn’t funny. It was sad.” Da Brat mentioned, “Your stupid ass thought it was funny. It's not funny. Nobody laughed.” Diamond was proud of himself and said to Harvey, “I am a winner tonight.” Harvey replied, “I have no respect for you. Now get the fuck off the scale.”

The entire cast was subsequently instructed to head outside to the large balance scale. Diamond was frightened by Cledus and snuck out a side door to avoid a confrontation with the other cast members. As the teams were weighed on the scale, Ant announced that Diamond’s team had won due to the hard work of Tiffany, Maureen, and Ross the Intern. It was notable that Ant did not give any praise to Diamond.

At the end of the episode, an interview with Da Brat was shown where she had some choice words for Diamond. Da Brat said,

"Dustin showed the true person that he is, and I guess that’s an asshole. He needs attention. His life is miserable. Nobody wants to cast Screech. You know what I’m saying? So, I’m sorry. It’s not our fault. Don’t take it out on other people. We’re proud of what we’ve done. We’ve had great success here. We love the show. We love everybody else except him, and I’ve met amazing people and it’s been a wonderful ride."

The season ended and it was obvious that everyone hated Diamond. I was amazed at what an ass he was on the show. It's obvious that Diamond deserves all of the ridicule he receives on the Internet and in real life. Diamond expects everyone to kiss his ass because he played the annoying Screech. Unfortunately for Diamond, nobody respects him for playing Screech.

18 comments:

JewveBeenFramed
said...

Screech,

I'm making a shit right now. I've eaten all the best foods possible, eggs, curry, taco bell ect and I will be jumping on a jet to Wisconsin so be perpare to eat the biggest smelliest shit you have ever eaten.

Dustin, if I were your mother I would knock that crap right out of you!the first mistake was birthing you!second mistake was giving you a career in the industry.you are a unattractive man with realy not a career ever.you beg for rent money,claim to have a porn career, thats not true! (they felt sorry for you)and keep your penis issues to shhh!you crack the mirror as you look in it,and hate the ugly/miserable person you have created.hopefully no one in any industry will ever employ you again. so we the public ever have to see your mug on our tv's, cable/ sattillite dishes everagain.we pay for the service not to see you.and last but not least you need to pray for all of our forgiveness, and that won't happen anytime soon.I hope your feeling just a small part of how you ruined an intire season of a showbecause of your imaturity,you have insulted,degrated,manulipated everyrace in the united states! and now you will be lucky to have a friend in this country. so maybe you will go far away, and never surface in the public eye. sincerely, dgr57

Mark my words, sometime in the not-to-distant future Screech is gonna off himself. He's such a miserable person, all that lashing out at other people is just his coping mechanism for all the hurt and pain he carries inside for being a washed up has-been. Yup, I'm sure I'm going to wake up one day and see Dustin Diamon commits suicide on the page.

This is Jennifer. Please get the "real deal" about this show, which really and illegally altered things to make Dustin look bad, on Dustin's blog myspace.com/trustthedust . Dustin has offers POURING in and we're going to take his SUCCESSFUL career to the next level. I'm doing the thing that NOONE else on Dustin's level will do, which is answer each and every critic on the internet, and make them put their money where their mouth is. 2007 is the year of Dustin Diamond, thank you very much!http://www.myspace.com/trustthedust

Jennifer, if that really is you then I say poo to you. You're keeping a very gay man in the closet by being his beard. Us queers love Dustbin with all our hearts and shits. We may hate the way he acts and the things he says but we will always love his ability to be our favourite fantasy geek Screech.

I doubt you are her though as she knows damn well that what we saw on CFC is 100% true and Dustin really is a douche. Hopefully 2007 will be the year Screech leaps out of the closet and into a dumpster party!!!

I'm actually disappointed that there won't be anymore weekly Screech reports, but I'm sure that he'll do something soon that will get mentioned on here. He probably can't stand to be out of the spotlight for too long and will be back to make a further ass of himself.

When you really think about it Diamond kind of did a favor for his castmates at his own expense. Heroes are only as good as their villians. Whether or not it was acting or his true personality you have to admit he was the perfect villian.

i feel somewhat sympathetic for dustin. he was an awkward little kid on a silly tv show, who grew up into a creepy awkward, not good-looking guy on same tv show - and best he did was kiss geeky tori spelling in those few episodes. he is really not a good looking guy. i cannot decide what is worse.....dustin.....or gary coleman the ultimate winner in the celebrity 'everyone else is to blame for my failures' game...

I wonder what stunt he'll pull when he blows through all his winnings from CFC. Will he blame his ugly skank girlfriend, Jennifer for taking his money this time. Wonder what show he'll be on next for washed up loser child stars?

My sister-in-law works for an airline which shall remain nameless. Occasionally, they get to meet and serve celebrities and although Screech doesn't fall into this category, he does fly their airline frequently. My sister-in-law does not normally exaggerate or trash talk without cause and so I knew what a douche bag Screech had to be when she told me stories of fellow employees literally fighting over who can get out of Screech duty when he flies with them. He constantly demands free upgrades and always gets upset, pitches a fit and acts as if he is a star much bigger than he was at the height of his Saved by the Bell days (if you even count that as stardom, which I and all the other rational people of America do not). As this site shows, my sister-in-law was unduly KIND in her moderately negative ramblings when referring about Screech (who HATES being called that). I am ashamed to have him living in my state!

For a guy you supposedly hate and say is washed up, you all do seem rather obsessed with Dustin Diamond. A lot of people can't be happy with their own miserable lives unless they have someone else to ridicule. It's just the nature of bad people. There's plenty of evidence in Diamond himself and the ones who wish he'd kill himself or experience more hardship in life. None of you are a better model of humanity by your comments here.

You're all a bunch of idiots for hating on Dustin for his actions on Celebrity Fit Club. It's all an act. The producers had Dustin be the villain because the ratings were so poor from season 4 they needed someone to be the asshole to get people talking.