Money story: My no-shopping experiment

This guest post from Kamie is the first in the newly-revived “money stories” feature at Get Rich Slowly. Some stories contain general advice; others are examples of how a GRS reader achieved financial success — or failure. These stories feature folks from all stages of financial maturity. Today, Kamie shares her resolution to break her shopping habit in 2018.

“Why would anyone do that?” I thought to myself — but I kept reading. The author had some compelling reasons for her experiment:

It made her more mindful of her “wants”.

It forced her to use things she already owned.

It helped her appreciate the things she had — and the things she was given.

And, surprisingly, it freed up tons of her time.

I read the article, thought it was interesting, and went on with my day. Later that evening, though, I started thinking about the article again. I thought about how much I shop and how much time and effort I put into it. Could I possibly go a year with no shopping?

My Background

You see, I worked in high-end retail for a very long time. I went to school for fashion merchandising and was in retail management as soon as I graduated. Everything in my life revolved around fashion and shopping! Working at Nordstrom was my greatest success and worst punishment both at the same time.

As you can see, I learned to shop with the best of them. And shopping became an outlet for me.

Today, I’m 44 with two teenage boys, an amazing husband, and two dogs. I work for our family business, so I’m not exposed to the retail environment on a constant basis. But I still shop — a lot!

Honestly, I love shopping. Shopping makes me happy. It’s fun to have new pretty things, whether it’s clothes, shoes, accessories (for me or the house), makeup, furniture, or even a new car. You know: anything.

Now, let me tell you, our family isn’t rich by any means. We have to budget just like everyone else. Sometimes it sucks. But we’re trying to teach our boys (and each other) what it means to save money, even if we’re not the best at it.

In reading the New York Times article, I could relate to much of what the author said. Shopping made her happy too, but she decided there were enough benefits to a year without shopping that she wanted to give it a try. I decided that maybe I wanted to give it a try.

When I told my husband about the idea, he looked at me and smiled. He told me that he’d be incredibly proud of me if I could actually do a year without shopping. Because he and I are very competitive, we love to challenge each other. I gave it some more thought and realized that this was a challenge I wanted to accept.

I keep asking myself, “Can I really do this? It’s going to be so hard!”

But my answer to myself — for myself — is, “Yes, I can do this.”

My Plan

Next, I had to come up with a plan. I’m a huge planner. I love to make lists and then cross things off one at a time. It makes me feel accomplished.

First, I had to decide when I was going to actually start this crazy challenge. Since the new year was fast approaching, January 1st seemed sensible. I could make the challenge a New Year’s resolution. This sounded great — until I realized that this would give me an opportunity to go on one last shopping spree. That seemed counter-productive — the complete opposite of what this challenge is supposed to be about.

Instead, I decided to start on December 26th, the day after Christmas.

J.D.’s note: This is a smart move on Kamie’s part. As a guy who has done tons of these sorts of things in the past, I’ve learned that as convenient as it might seem to start on a specific day — January 1st, your birthday, your anniversary, whatever — waiting often leads to failure. You have one last blow-out before the big start, then that makes you feel lousy and you don’t follow through on your commitment. Once you decide to take on a challenge, it’s much better to start immediately rather than wait for a specific date. Any time I’ve been successful at getting fit, writing more, or cutting back on alcohol, it’s because I’ve started now — not tomorrow.

Now that I had the when, I needed a plan to keep myself committed to this challenge for an entire year. How can I keep myself preoccupied so that I’m not tempted to shop every day?

To start, I had to decide what qualifies as shopping. This was hard. Until you do something like this, you don’t realize how many things you purchase every day.

I made four lists.

First, I made a list of things that are not necessities or that I have to much of already. These include:

Clothing, accessories, makeup, shoes.

Electronics and gadgets, including phones.

Furniture and home accessories. (This one is tough. Don’t laugh, but I love to buy candles!)

Starbucks. Normally, I spend a lot at Starbucks. But for this experiment, I’ve promised myself not to go to Starbucks unless I’m traveling for work. (Honestly, I’m not sure how I’ll do on this one.)

Next, I had made a list of stores I had to keep away from. Much like J.D. wouldn’t allow himself to go into comic book stores when he was getting out of debt, in order to succeed at this challenge I need to keep away from:

Department stores

Boutiques

Malls

“One-stop shopping” stores. I should only go to actual grocery stores so that I’m not sidetracked by other shopping opportunities.

I also made a list of things to do for when I get the shopping bug. Instead of shopping, I can:

Finally, I sat down to make a list of things that I can buy, which was much more difficult. There are obvious things that are okay, such as groceries and toiletries. Plus, gas and maintenance on vehicles. Once I started trying to think of things that were necessary, I realized just how much stuff I don’t need. I guess that’s a good thing.

My Start

After making my plan, I put it into action.

I started with my email. I don’t know about you, but I get tons of messages from stores, membership clubs, and other forms of advertising. All of this email is designed to entice me to spend more.

It took some time, but I went through each message and unsubscribed from the mailing list. Honestly, I felt sad unsubscribing to email from certain companies that I love. But I realized that if I didn’t do this, I’d just be tempted to shop.

Next, I cancelled my subscription boxes. I’ll confess that I had a few. They’re so fun to get in the mail! It broke my heart to cancel the FabFitFun box, which was my favorite. I love the feeling when it arrives and I get to open each item individually and fall in love. This might sound silly to some, but if you love to shop, you understand. As much as I hated to cancel FabFitFun, it had to be done. (J.D.’s note: After I visited the FabFitFun page to grab a link, I started being served their ads everywhere I went on the web. You’ve been warned.)

By the time I finished my quest to sever ties with stores and subscriptions, I was exhausted. I was emotionally drained from not shopping. How does that even happen?

There’s still tons more to do, of course, and I know it. That’s okay. I have an entire year to make these adjustments. After only a few days, I’m realizing how much time and energy it takes to discontinue old habits. But I’m up for the challenge! That’s six days down and 359 to go…

Have you every participated in a no-spend challenge? What rules did you give yourself? How long did it last? How well did you do? Do you have any advice for others who might want to try this?

Reminder: This is a story from a guest contributor. Please be nice. After twenty years of blogging, I have a thick skin, but it can be scary to put your story out in public for the first time. Remember that Kamie isn’t a professional writer, and is just learning about money like you are. Tough-love is fine, but don’t be a jerk.

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That’s a great idea! Good luck Kamie. I don’t know that I would be able to do it across the board like you’re doing. I already don’t “go” shopping because I do most of it online and then only when I need stuff. But I’m betting I could probably cut out a lot more if I look at what I “need”!

P.S. Kamie may not be a “professional” writer, but I found this entry just fine, and conversational.

P.P.S. To JD, I just found your blog over the holidays and love it. Thanks for sharing it.

That was interesting. My usual filter is, “do I really need this?” And usually, that suffices. However, there are certain websites that I visit occasionally to see what the current deals are, and I am tempted to get those items. So these days, I am making it a point not to go to those sites.

Kamie, thank you for writing and sharing this wonderful article! I think a big part of the problem with women over-shopping comes from the fact that they have too many damn options when it comes to clothes, whereas men have much fewer choices in the clothing/fashion department. I think the key is for women to dress more like men — but, you know, with a feminine twist! Here are a couple of visual examples of what I’m talking about:

dh- Amazon is my hubby’s friend. For many years he kept his shopping under the radar, well under $100 a month. In the last year Amazon delivers almost daily (yes, Amazon does deliver on Saturdays and Sundays). He used to tease me about my $3. coffees. Now I hear, “it was on sale!”WAY too often. He worked long and hard to earn the money, am I denying his pleasure by pointing out the problem?

See if you can get him excited about minimalism! It’s such a fun thing, almost like a game! Zen Habits is a great resource, and then some years ago, Leo did a side project called mnmlist, which is wonderful, too:

To me the no shopping thing falls into two categories. The main one is that someone has decided they have other things to do with their funds and their time. That is simply a refocusing of goals. But I’m retired and have met all financial goals and still have “burn” money each month. So I shop too much. So I would say your husband’s Amazon habit would depend on if that money is needed elsewhere.

Sorry, after re-reading for about the 5th time, I noticed the two references to “groceries”. I totally missed them on the first read through, and searched for “food”, “eat” and “restaurant” to look for food-related clauses. (The UK tends not to use the word “grocery” to refer to food. I mean, Brits understand the word, but it wouldn’t typically be the first choice of word to use in everyday speech.)

I love this article and the whole experiment! I’ve done two week stints before when my spending needs reigning in and it’s always a struggle and a humbling experience. (I do food as well since it’s only 2 weeks and it forces me to use what’s in my pantry). Is there a blog somewhere we can follow along with her experiment, or is it all going to be on GRS? I’d love to follow her progress. I’m sure regular update will help keep me mindful of my own spending!

I’m so excited to read this article. I’m also doing a no-shopping year inspired by the same NYT article. I spent a few days researching (reading other no-shopping articles and watching Ted Talks), put together a plan and sent it to a friend for review, and then revised it a few times. I started my plan January 1st, and sure enough, that’s when my favorite purse store slashed prices on everything. I’d been eyeing a bag for 4 months and didn’t put it into the plan as an allowable expense. I’m still a bit gutted about it, but 7 days in and I’m still on track. Best of luck, Kamie! I look forward to your updates throughout the year.

A little helpful tip- going to the library can often feel like shopping, only it’s free. Often if I find myself wanting to shop out of boredom, I go the library, even if I was just there the day before. Just browsing and picking up a magazine or movie or book makes me feel like I’ve shopped, even though I spent $0.

This is exactly what I do. When I feel I “need” to go shopping — I head to the library. I’m around people, books, music, computers, and sometimes they have events going on. I go to the library at least twice a week. I can’t even begin to tell you how much money it saves me.

I am Kamie’s mom and I am so proud of her shopping has always been part of our life I am seeing her determined to succeed in this and support her completely it also helps me to stop and think about what I purchase

I’d love to hear from Kamie’s husband, especially if he’s doing the challenge as well. Would he be JD’s brother? I don’t know if this is a competition between the two of them or not, but another viewpoint is always interesting.

Yes, Kamie’s husband is my youngest brother. I’ve shared his (and Kamie’s) story in various ways at GRS in the past, sometimes under disguised names and situations. When I started Money Boss in October 2015, I also recorded an hour-long interview with him in anticipation of starting a Money Boss podcast. (That never happened, obviously.) Maybe I’ll listen through it and share an edited version.

Lately, I’ve been thinking it would be interesting to interview both of my brothers about our situation growing up. Next month is “relationship month” at GRS. Maybe I’ll see if I can make it happen by then.

Very inspiring Kamie! I think I’m going to take a one month mini no shopping ban as a result of reading this post.

Don’t feel too badly about the subscriptions. I did that last year. When you eventually go back to the retailers sites the subscription lists and deals are still waiting for you. However I love knowing now that every email I get in is one I want, and I can take the time to read them rather than ignore them all. Good luck with the challenge!

Good luck with it! I made 2017 a full year of “no purchasing outdoor gear”. For someone like me who spends huge amounts of time in the outdoors cycling, climbing, running, camping, kayaking etc, it was a challenge. Those things require gear and equipment, an lots of it. But I managed. It was a very liberating year of making due with what I already have!

I’m going to do that this year as well. I’ve always been a camper, but I took up backpacking a few years ago. Haven’t done a ton of trips, but enough to keep wanting to accumulate additional (or lighter) gear. Those REI garage sales are the devil, lol. So I will NOT go to anymore of the garage sales and I won’t be buying any additional gear. (I’m still on the hunt for the elusive light but comfy backpacking sleeping pad, but I can make due with the ones I have for now.)

I’m doing a no spend challenge this year as well. I usually give myself an annual spending target and balance pricey months with leaner months to ensure I hit my annual target. This year however I want to max out my pre and post tax retirement accounts. With my tax refund that’s quite doable but my goal this year is to do that from my monthly salary alone, use my tax refund for other goals. With an average salary and no salary increase last year that’s going to be challenging. Never really gave myself a extreme challenge before so decided this was reason enough to do it. I have clothes, shoes, etc. dont need anything so removed distractions in order to laser focus on my real goal. I actually LOVE window shopping, being surrounded by the energy in a packed mall makes me feel happy (sad I know) but I like the idea of finding new ways to fill my flex time. Working on a side hustle so hopefully I’ll not only be saving money in my freed up time, but earning money as well.

No shopping has been my lifestyle for the past couple of years. It gives me great pleasure when I actually wear something out and have to throw it away. A couple of months ago I wore out a leather belt I had had for many years. I still can feel the big smile in myself for having actually worn something out! I can also think of the jeans that I had to toss because they had finally ripped so badly I couldn’t even wear them in the garden any longer!

Good job Kamie! I’ve toyed with that idea a bit (though I’m really not that big of a shopper). I am trying not to spend anything in January on “shopping” or “dining out”. But I should have bought that $30 immersion blender stick before the month began (I’m sure it would help with my cooking at home, lol).

My job is a BEAR in January so I’ve used it in the past to just hunker down, keep my head down , and literally plan nothing (except meals). It’s not so hard because I work from home (though a corporate job) and not a lot of free time anyway.

As it turns out, this month will be highly unusual for a January. This month will be really difficult as now I’ve got to travel out of town for a elderly parent with a broken arm and then work travel at the end of the month. We’ll see how it goes! I guess that’s why it’s a “challenge”.

Hi Kamie! I really enjoyed reading about your 2018 challenge. Not looking for good deals on websites will certainly free up time. Also, it will make us use what we have in our closets. My grandpa, who was born in 1882, had his entire wardrobe hanging on one hook. While it is certainly a different time now, it makes me think how wasteful of time and money we all can be sometimes. Your goal for 2018 is very admirable! I may just join this “new movement”!

Great, thoughtful piece. My husband and I are serious about beefing up our emergency fund this year. It’s motivating to make a contribution to that equal to what I save by telling myself I don’t need X. For example, do I really need a pedicure? How about I take the polish off my nails, clip them, clean them and buff them? $30 into the emergency fund. How about we stay home and watch Netflix instead of going out to the movies? $25 into the fund. I’m also doing Dry January, so am putting $25 per week into the fund each week I don’t drink wine. I feel like I’m getting paid for practicing better spending habits.

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My name is J.D. Roth. I started Get Rich Slowly in 2006 to document my personal journey as I dug out of debt. Then I shared while I learned to save and invest. Twelve years later, I've managed to reach early retirement! I'm here to help you master your money — and your life. No scams. No gimmicks. Just smart money advice to help you get rich slowly. Read more.

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