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Friday, August 15, 2008

External processing & A need for prayer

If I'm not honest with myself... who will I be honest with?

I love living here. Everything is different and its cool. I am beginning to adjust a little and getting used to living in Cali.... although, last night when we put together Esther's armoire, (sp) we had to earthquake proof it... which was a bit weird for me. I'm not used to earthquake proofing things.

The thing I need to be honest about is the fact that I am overwhelmed. I'm sooo overwhelmed with moving, being involved with a new/different ministry, the need to be vulnerable with new people who don't know me yet... everything. Please pray for me. Pray that I would find my comfort in the Lord and not any other place. Pray that I would feel okay to cry and be emotional. Lately, I've been telling myself that I can't cry and admit that I'm overwhelmed because when I do that, I'm doubting that the Lord is capable of working... there can't be any truth in that statement.

Anyway, the latest stress is funding...(isn't that always my stress?) As I said yesterday, I have to leave California in a month to head back to Cincinnati for 2-3 weeks to work more on my fund-raising. (September 17th - September 30th...possibly even through October 6th) Currently, I'm at 59% of my fully funded goal. 70% allows me to minister full time on campus for the fall semester. That means right now I've raised a little over $36,000. To be here for the fall I need at least another $10,000. To have 100% would be $62,000. Big numbers? Yes. Does it look ridiculous? Possibly. Do we have a big God? Yes. And, He does things that ALWAYS seem impossible. I'm excited because I've never raised this much money before, and I've seen the Lord do incredible things and bless me throughout these past few months. I'm discouraged because I unfortunately look at my percentage and realize I still have a long way to go. So, all this to say I need your prayer. Please pray with me in seeking the Lord for strength. Please pray that I will finally deal with emotions and fears and how I'm feeling. Please pray that the funding would come in... soon.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for praying. I'll see you soon, Cincinnati.

Here's an upside... I'll at least get to be there at the start of football season. WHODEY!! (that's for you Randall ;P )

3 comments:

Walking with You is not without hazardsTrippling's this traveler's curseThe price paid for falling is more than a stumbleIn a world that is watching and waiting for words

But I listened when You said goAnd I set out in spite of my fearsI brought truth mixed with my imperfectionsAnd the question of what to say when I got hereAnd now that I'm here

Should I tell them that You areThe One who has made meAnd saved me to set up a home there insideShould I tell them that I amA perfect example of allYou can do with a lifeWhat should I say to them,What if I'm failing them?What should I tell them tonight?

Don't get me wrongI'm thankful to be hereWith this song to sing and a spotlight on meBut lately I'm wondering if You are mistakenIf you're seeing all of me there is to see

But on every face I detect theseSame questions I've posed to YouLike do You speak through the imperfectOr are we too dirty for Your light to get throughI want Your light to get through

Should I tell them that You areThe One who has made meAnd saved me to set up a home there insideShould I tell them that I amA perfect example of allYou can do with a lifeWhat should I say to them,What if I'm failing them?What should I tell them tonight?

Should I tell them that You areThe One who has made meAnd saved me to set up a home there insideShould I tell them that I amA perfect example of allYou can do with a lifeWhat should I say to them,What if I'm failing them?What should I tell them tonight?

About Me

So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us. 1 Thessalonians 2:8
Originally, I wanted this to be a place for you to see what God has been doing with me and ministry. It has now become a place where I can and will share with you my life, what God is doing and how He is continually using me, despite how broken or frustrated I may feel.
I desire to know truth and I desperately want the world to know truth as well. Please keep checking to see how God has been revealing Himself to me and to those I am sharing Him with.
Thanks for reading. Thanks for praying.
Love, Michelle.