JOHN REILLY: A wall that stands the test of time and love

Almost since the day they met ten years ago, Dande and Jeff Bagby from San Diego have had a dream of owning their own brew house.

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By John Reilly

The Patriot Ledger, Quincy, MA

By John Reilly

Posted Mar. 1, 2014 at 4:00 AM
Updated Mar 1, 2014 at 7:52 AM

By John Reilly

Posted Mar. 1, 2014 at 4:00 AM
Updated Mar 1, 2014 at 7:52 AM

» Social News

COMMENTARY – In the 2013 British Romantic Comedy “About Time,” lead character Tim Lake (played by Domhnall Gleeson) is informed by his father (Bill Nighy) that, through the years, the men in his family had honed a unique ability to travel in time. After a short period of bemused skepticism, Tim Lake walks into a dark closet, clenches his fists and discovers that his father had not inexplicably gone daft. Indeed he, and all the other men in his family, had discovered a fortuitous (and clandestine) approach to correct the mistakes of their past. And this got me thinking. Given the chance – what would you do over? Would you correct all the regrets or would you experience the great moments over and over again? And would you worry, like Tim Lake, that anything you alter in your past would change the course of your life in the future.

Almost since the day they met 10 years ago, Dande and Jeff Bagby from San Diego have had a dream of owning their own brew house. Their idea of building and running their own place was seeded when they met and began to blossom almost as quickly as their companionship did.

“We developed our ideas as we developed our relationship,” Dande said. “And once we found the perfect place, it was pretty much full speed ahead.”

The couple found an old BMW dealership in a beautiful little San Diego community and brought in a crew of architects and engineers to help them fashion a dream two-story brewery/restaurant. Jeff would be the head brew-master and Dande would run the operation. Following their dreams, they are set to open The Bagby Beer Company this spring.

“Truthfully, this is the biggest thing we will ever undertake in our lives,” Dande told me. “It is all-encompassing. Both of us are very involved in all aspects of this design and build. We have our fingerprints all over even the tiniest details.”

Which is why they were both so distraught when, about one month ago, they arrived at work early one morning to find one of their newly constructed block walls marred with graffiti.

“At first, it was like a punch to the gut,” Dande said. “But then we noticed what was written.”

The 12-foot high letters read “4 Kenny – Cancer Can’t Kill Me.” And it took the couple’s breath away.

They could have reacted much differently – called the police, painted the wall – they didn’t.

“Almost immediately we started thinking about who we have loved and lost,” Dande said. “And about the people we love who are fighting this disease now. We wanted to know what this message meant. We wanted to know who Kenny was.”

Page 2 of 2 - And a few days later something amazing happened. As Dande was making grilled cheese sandwiches for her work crew, she looked out the kitchen window and noticed a group of people standing around the mural. One woman was taking pictures.

“I approached them outside,” Dande said. “And before I even said a word, I knew.”

The woman with the camera was Robin. And she was on the way to the hospital to visit her husband, Kenny.

“When I came up on them, she just broke down crying,” Dande said. “I hugged her and invited her in. Her openness was incredible. She trusted me with her honesty. She kept apologizing but I told her none of that really mattered. I told her that we were pulling for her husband.”

Robin came by several more times over the next few days. To admire the tribute to her husband and to visit the Bagbys. On one of those visits, she informed Dande and Jeff that her husband had passed away.

Kenny had died, but as far as Dande and Jeff Bagby were concerned, the wall would remain.

John Reilly is a graduate of Stonehill College and the University of Notre Dame. A frequent contributor to The Patriot Ledger, he lives in Sharon with his wife, daughter and son.