This is not, the greatest review in the world; no…this is just a tribute…a tribute to a once mighty beast…whose powers have been depleted faster than Superman getting pegged with a Kryptonite dildo. Yes we’re here today to remember TENACIOUS D. Back in 2001, the comedy rock duo of Jack Black and Kyle Gass would become one of the greatest cult phenomenon’s of modern alternative music, with tracks like “Wonderboy”,“Tribute” of course and not forgetting “Fuck Her Gently”, not only bridging the gap between music and comedy, but doing it so effectively. EVERYONE would sing along to these, and the sketches that littered their self-titled debut were genuinely amusing, but alas, the laughter wouldn’t last too long…

Their follow up project “The Pick Of Destiny” (Both an album and a motion picture) didn’t do so well, (At the box-office especially) losing money and receiving mixed to negative reviews; it seemed like they’d undertaken too much…perhaps their fifteen minutes was already up? The joke seemingly already wearing thin…however to the surprise of many, they returned in 2012 with the attempted come-back album “Rise Of The Fenix”. A shot at redemption, it did get them nominated for a Grammy award for Best Comedy Album, but the quality simply wasn’t matching up to their debut and although they’d grown as musicians, they’d faded somewhat as entertainers. This leads us to 2018 and again, surprisingly, we find The D releasing another studio album’ “Post-Apocalypto”. Another concept here, it coincides with their own mini animated YouTube series (I use the term animated very loosely) following their struggles and adventures in, you guessed it, a post-apocalyptic world…but is it worth the listen?

We open up with the “Post-Apocalypto Theme” and as it acts as the animations theme song it really is only a brief jingle at best…a pacey flurry of acoustic guitar and percussion backing Jack Black’s trademark dramatic vocal. It’s up-tempo, catchy enough and easy listening, ironically ending with the line ‘Tenacious D has got to shine’…almost acknowledging previous failures. Sadly, not only are any further ACTUAL musical highlights so few and far between, over an album consisting of TWENTY ONE tracks bare in mind…but those twenty one tracks only have a 30 MINUTE run time…this really isn’t boding well. The tracks (If you can call them that honestly) that do manage to stand out are “Hope”, which delivers a sweet little acoustic ditty that transitions its way into a power ballad of sorts…there’s “Making Love” which can be looked upon in one of two ways; either it’s a spiritual successor to “Fuck Her Gently” or they’ve simply tried to emulate themselves with shamefully recycled ideas (STEEL PANTHER much?).

The random references to Elon Musk and Richard Branson during “Take Us Into Space” push for a little bit of fourth-wall breaking but as a track it’s typical as it comes; it’s accompanying skit “I’ve Got To Go”no more than standard D shenanigans really. Finding further musical points of worth is difficult…”Daddy Ding Dong” opts for a more metal inspired piece, Jack Black does love a hard rocking riff but it’s nothing shy of ridiculous. There’s sketches about sex with cave women, a random, pro-KKK piece featuring an anti-gay march, there’s a clichéd German character, all tied in to some Donald Trump references…I mean what the ACTUAL fuck? ”JB JR Rap” has a deep, dark hip-hop synth beat and some auto tune which is probably the most interesting thing musically here which says A LOT, before we end up finishing rocking out on “Woman Time” and the reprise of the theme song. Ultimately, as an accompanying album, this really falls flat and feels more like a brief collection of sound bites AT BEST…if you’re going to invest any time in new Tenacious D material, stick to the animation on YouTube, as this really fails on record. As audio content, it not only feels rushed together, but it misses the mark entirely regarding humour…there’s nothing wrong with being crude and childish occasionally, but this is just cringe-worthy, I sadly believe the D in their name now simply stands for Done. [1]

​GIRL! I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR! Well, to be honest, actually I don’t, BUT, I DO however want to take you on a journey, to remind you about one of the most underrated, hardest working bands on the planet; ELECTRIC SIX. I preach this practically every year, and that’s simply because, whether you’re aware of it or not, Electric Six have practically released a new album EVERY FUCKING YEAR since “Fire”, and frankly not enough people take notice!

People may naturally assume that, to be so prolific creatively, to produce a full album a year and complete all their touring commitments, it really must be a case of quantity over quality? And sure over the years, the band have dropped a lot of their overtly blatant ridiculousness, but having spoken to front man Dick Valentine, it’s interesting to learn that, despite him being very much the face and voice of the band, it’s very much a group effort. Each member of the band in fact writes three or four songs for each album cycle, resulting in a lot of time being saved and more importantly, a rich tapestry of differing styles and influences shaping each and every record. With that in mind, we’re about to delve into album number FOURTEEN; “Bride Of The Devil”…let’s get hitched…

With Dick’s typically dry-humour we open up with “The Opener” and I do like it when things get to the point it has to be said…with its subtle distortion and sludgy riffs, accompanied by plenty of vocal wails, plus Dick favouring his gritty, higher pitched delivery here, almost channelling an AC/DC-esque style, it’s an intense but enjoyable start. This actually carries through the first half of the album with some truly solid cuts from E6, keeping momentum going at a steady but satisfying pace…tracks like “You’re Toast” musically slowing things down for the most part, opting for a semi-blues rock offering, with Dick’s vocals full of piss and vinegar, to a degree akin to something CLUTCH might produce, which is always a good thing, while “(It Gets A Little) Jumpy” is a quaint little acoustic number, full of smooth melody and Summery hooks; it really is a lovely little track.

The second half of the album however….sadly; doesn’t match the same quality. It exceeds it! It honestly just gets stronger as it goes on and seriously, the band is on top form here…”Hades Ladies” saunters in with its gravelly rock ‘n’ roll vibe and deep groove; full of swagger and confidence…the title track utilises more of a simplistic synth-based hook layered within some classic rock influences, especially the brief solo which would easily please fans of THE DARKNESS for example, before album highlight “Witches Burning” delivers some classic E6 with its bluesy guitar licks and quality riff-work with an anthemic chorus…this is quality.

The album DOES drop the ball slightly with its closing track “The Worm In The Wood” as the sudden drop in tempo isn’t so much of a come-down as a let-down, with the latter half of the album getting you pumped up, hoping for an explosive climax. The tinny almost tropical guitar’s giving off an almost CHRIS ISAAK vibe which is nice, don’t get me wrong, but it can’t help but feel ever so slightly anti-climactic. Overall however that’s a minor annoyance that doesn’t take away from what is admittedly a superb album…fourteen albums in and Electric Six are still as consistent and reliable as ever, on this instance maybe even more so, as it’s one of their strongest collection of songs in a few years now…if I may paraphrase the great BILLY IDOL…it’s a nice day for a white wedding; it’s a nice day to, start listening to Electric Six again. [8]

Over the years many an artist, in rock ‘n’ roll especially, have used shock tactics or elaborate theatrics to help get themselves noticed. It’s all part of the image; the horror and excess that (Music aside) helps separate rock and metal from other genres. Many have succeeded throughout history…ALICE COOPER arguably helped start it all with his stage production going WAY back, you have the likes of ROB ZOMBIE bridging media formats by branching out into some intensely brutal horror movies…though today however we’re focusing not so much on artistic theatre, but, more of a macabre pantomime…yes we’re going to be looking at LORDI. Now instantly recognisable, their whole gimmick is based around the demonic monster costumes designed by front man Mr Lordi (Real name Tomi Petteri Putaansuu) but, despite being around for some time now, it wasn’t until that fateful and unforgettable night where they WON the Eurovision Song Contest for Finland back in 2006.

As unreal as that sounds, “Hard Rock Hallelujah” catapulted them into a mainstream audience, and their tongue-in-cheek style or horror metal has won them over a legion of fans, and they now have an impressive back catalogue of albums. Earlier this year they released their ninth; the wonderfully titled “Sexorcism”, supposedly their most controversial release to date…somebody better call Father Merrin, I think Jesus has done WAY more than fuck this lot…

We begin with the title track and it does open up like a cut from a horror movie score; really dramatic sounding and in preparation for a jump scare or intense fight between good and evil. The simple but ominous piano soon gives way though to some decent riffs and a surging hard-rock aesthetic and musically this is fine; it’s got a decent melodic hook for a chorus too which, given, Mr Lordi’s honestly awful gravelled vocals, is quite impressive….it’s been produced really well up in Finnvox. This is far from a regular exorcism however (Is there even such a thing?) as he sings of FINGERING the demon out of her…steady on guys this isn’t the 19th century, you can’t be palming shit like this off like hysteria…did she even consent? This gimmick is backed up later by the interlude “Scg9: The Documented Phenomenon”, which essentially parodies THAT Exorcist scene with only slightly re-arranged verbiage. I really don’t know if this is a tribute or a parody…

The ridiculousness doesn’t stop there however as thematically following on from the title track we’re gifted with “The Beast Is Yet To Cum”...a nice play on words there Sir but if anything you’re promoting the fact that your own fingering skills are sub-par at best. Y’all motherfuckers need STEEL PANTHER and that’s one thing I thought I’d never say! In terms of musical highlights, it’s actually quite hard to separate any of the 13 tracks offered this time around. “Naked In My Cellar” has some more catchy synth elements and initially opens up like an early NIGHTWISH number before it delves into this rumbling, bass-heavy riff, and it’s about as clean as Mr Lordi’s vocals can probably get? It’s got a great pop chorus really…”Polterchrist” is another amusingly named track which starts off with some chilling female choir-esque vocals and more piano, before descending into a chugging, classic-metal type affair.

We eventually close out with “Sodomesticated Animal” which aside from its admittedly good name and a decent solo doesn’t inspire a great deal, while “Haunting Season” rounds things up with a generic symphonic metal effort. The trouble with this album is, everything seems to last forever, all of the songs, despite their comedic quirks, sadly drag a little and overstay their welcome to a degree. Less Lordi, more of a thick load quite frankly…a good release for Lordi perhaps like but, not something you want in your ears…the power of Christ compels you to NOT listen to this album. [4]

In the past I’ve touched upon how some professional wrestlers or, WWE Superstars, embark on musical careers outside of the squared circle; we can all agree that Chris Jericho is doing remarkably well with FOZZY(In all fairness Chris Jericho does remarkably well at everything he’s the motherfucking GOAT), while Jeff Hardy prefers the underground artistic freedom of expression with his band PEROXWHY?GEN(The presentation of that word still makes me feel like I’ve been driven through a Spanish announce table). However it’s rare when you can say that the WWE have fully invested in a character within kayfabe, to the point that they personally back a musical project to further strengthen a gimmick on screen. John Cena was given this treatment when he dropped his hip-hop album “You Can’t See Me” back in 2005 but, he was THE man, he was the one getting the push so it was to be expected…so it speaks volumes for how the company see’s ELIAS in 2018.

Elias (Real name Jeffrey Scuillo) has been part of WWE since joining NXT in 2014 and over the past couple of years has been developing his ‘drifter’ character, slowly but surely moving up to his current position on the Raw roster. More famed for his promo segments than his in-ring accomplishments, he can always be found with his guitar in hand attempting to sing to the crowd in each city visited, often in a degrading manner with a heel persona, before usually being interrupted by other superstars. The trouble is, despite being a heel in theory, his character and dry, sarcastic humour have won over the vast majority of the audience and he’s more often than not cheered, with the crowd fully aware that WWE now stands for ‘Walk With Elias’…in fact, he’s gotten so over, that WWE have backed him to the extent that they’ve allowed him to record a genuine EP, so with that… silence your cellphones, hold your applause and shut your mouths as we “Walk With Elias”…

The EP opens up with the elegantly titled “The Ballad Of Every Town I’ve Ever Been To” and it’s this track that’s essentially the foundation of Elias’ character on screen. A play on old songs such as “I’ve Been Everywhere” by GEOFF MACK made famous by LUCKY STARR, also later JOHNNY CASH, it highlight’s every town he’s had the misfortune of performing in, twisting the style to fit his heelish persona, but retaining the old acoustic, country charm. Rich in both melody and melancholy, all the while mocking each town, it makes for some classic cheap heat; wonderfully delivered. “Elias’ Words” utilises a similar approach with the country-blues inspired feel, really paying homage to the original southern style with his spoken word lyrical delivery, heavy on smarmy self-importance and portraying his character brilliantly.“Nothing I Can’t Do” switches things up with a sombre piano ballad showcasing he’s far from a one-trick pony and has more moves than John Cena…lyrically self-aware, he displays a subtle arrogance to further that heel heat as he sings that he wrote this song on a piano, just to show you that he could, because he’s better than you, there is literally nothing he can’t do and with the exception of only tone, it’s a great comedy song, before closing track “Walk With Me” returns to the acoustic, blues style complete with husky drawl and emotive guitar solo channelling the likes of Orbison and Clapton. As far as anticipated releases go it’s safe to say that, this isn’t up there on the list, but for fans of WWE and Elias especially this is a great addition for collectors and also a superb extension of Elias’ character…it’s not ground-breaking musically but it does its job perfectly and credit to Elias’ and WWE especially for making this happen, such is their faith in him with the product. Forget walking with Elias, WWE have taken the gimmick and ran with it and it’s paying off, you just wish he was mocking your town too. [6]

If you’ve at all followed the UK’s alternative scene over the past say, ten years or so, then no doubt you will have at some point stumbled upon the work of Scott Lee Andrews. The wild Welshman originally found minor fame with mid-2000’s post-hardcore rhythm thieves MIDASUNO, before forming Cardiff-based chainsaw loving noise cartel EXIT_INTERNATIONAL, but, more recently, and arguably most notably, his collaboration with GINGER WILDHEART for the third installment of the darkly psychotic project MUTATION. Very prolific and reliable in underground UK music circles, Scott has always been about the intensity, the invigorating sense of finding pleasure in noise and chaos and here we find him working on yet another project to quench his own thirst for the unorthodox. Allow me to introduce to you JAWS OF DEAF and the EP “Delicious Discomfort”…6 tracks hand picked out of around 50 that Scott’s been working on, as he prepares to drop a full length album. Now settle down and get uncomfortable as we check it out…

We open up with “Bait & Switch” which at little over 2-minutes long is the shortest track on offer here and Scott wastes no time delving into his frantic, raucous, thrashy punk roots with an absolute bombardment of messy riffs and demented screeching’s. In his own words; “I really haven’t got a clue what it means”…and that’s partly the fun of it, sometimes noise for noise’ sake is therapeutic. We follow this up with the wonderfully titled “Porno Without The Fucking” and as ridiculous as the statement is, it’s no surprise to learn it came from a YouTube comment that Scott read…intended as a derogatory slur, it’s full of oxymoronic similes, riddled with daft humour, but also a deeper meaning of how the very medication that’s meant to help you can strip you of your identity, resulting in a creative catch-22…another interesting and ultimately fun track.“Cupid Stunts” is another brilliantly titled self-depreciating effort, with Scott using bleak humour and a wry smile as he sings with a jolly despair about his questionable decisions in life; full of melody and some surprising vocal harmonies it channels the likes of WEEZER in its overall tone and delivery, even down to the climatic key change and its possibly as accessible as you’re likely to find him on any record. Having said that, there’s also “Californian Frown” to take into account which I’ll be honest, initially reminded me of the credits sequence from “Bottom” but that’s something for another time. A bass-driven affair with wacky vocal delivery (Featuring guest vocalist Givvi Flynn), finding itself stuck between being musically designed for Exit_International but lyrically leaning towards Mutation, resulting in a quirky little, edgy indie-rock number. The final two tracks; “An Alone Wolf” is ripped straight out of “Ash Vs. The Evil Dead”; an animalistic take on grunge, before closing track “The World Looks Better From Behind” is an intentionally misogynistic play on words, but also utilises hidden depth with the idea of hindsight and nostalgia. Musically exploratory, dabbling in brass instrumentation for extra character, the drawl of Scott’s vocal harbors elements of Matt Bellamy from MUSE; elongating each note as the track is stretched towards its dying moments.

All in all despite being just six tracks in length, it more or less caters for everyone if you’re familiar with any of Scott’s previous work; it’s got the tumultuous punk-inspired tones of old, it’s got groove-heavy song writing at its core but it also retains a level of darkness brought on by his collaborations with Ginger…it’s not polished, it’s not fucking meant to be; it’s just raw, and rowdy and fun…he meant delicious discomfort quite literally. [7]

I mentioned in my last post that I’d been contacted by a Stencil Magazine representative by the name of Andrew, and that he’d forwarded me a list of bands to check out. What struck me as interesting when I went through the list was that, despite being a UK based PR, the bands not only represented a wide variety of genres but a pretty varied range of nationalities too! Last time we found ourselves over in the US for a band called RUSTY SHIPP, this time we’re still across the pond but moving further north into Canada; allow me to introduce you SOUND DROWN. They too formed in 2014 after founding member Brandon Wiseman (Bass/lead vocals) went through a sort of, recruitment process for the songs he’d written, eventually settling on Drew Neathway (Drums), Nick Ryan (Lead guitar/vocals) and Justin Goss (Guitar/vocals). Initially a covers band while they found their feet, they soon began work on Wiseman’s material and back last year they released their debut EP; “Dino Droppings”…in memory of the late, great Ryan Dunn…let’s go poo diving…

We get the EP underway with “Living Song” and for all intents and purposes it’s a motivational speech; stand up and follow your dreams, live a little, don’t waste opportunities etc. The opening guitar tone is very much up-beat and firmly embedded within a pop-rock pigeonhole, with its melodic structure, but there also subtle breakdowns backing the track giving it an ever so slightly heavier edge, though its climax has a feeling of, they didn’t actually know how to round it up…it just plays on awkwardly, bringing it down ever so slightly. “(Bittersweet) Fault Line” follows up and again we’re met with that standard alternative pop-punk vibe, think NEW FOUND GLORY etc., it’s very much by numbers here in terms of tone and structure, not to say that it’s unpleasant by any means but, it is what it is. An interesting geographical take on relationships, likening the fragility and temperamental aspects of love to earthquakes…it’s…different.

The title track, the shortest piece here is an intense flurry of punk rock that’s best described as finding itself somewhere between BAD RELIGION and NOFX…it’s short and sharp and the solo is pretty damn infectious too by all accounts despite its blink and you’ll miss it feel; it’s fun and frankly you wish there were more of it! Speaking of fun…”M.E.G.I.A.L” is up next and initially you just know it stands for something but dread to think what…so when it turns out to mean “My ex-girlfriend is a lesbian” your inner-child can’t help but chuckle. The track itself is an acoustic gem and easily the EP’s highlight, you want to feel sorry for him but, really you have to point and laugh when he says “She took off with a she-Hulk”, it’s very self-depreciating, especially the line about the strap-on...absolutely brilliant. There’s no sympathy here really, no matter how unconventionally pretty the she-Hulk may or not be. The remaining tracks “Runaway” and “That One Song” are fine; the former returning to their pacey pop-punk formula, the latter having more of a progressive shoe-gaze tone to close the EP in dramatic fashion, but let’s be honest we’re still recovering from the she-Hulk…they peaked early I’m sorry. Pop-punk fans should embrace these as ones to watch as they have plenty of potential, but even in these formative years they’re clearly able to expand into other genres without creating a mess. They’d be more than welcome at SlamDunk, and someone should make that happen. [7]

Rovio Entertainment, the creators behind the hugely popular mobile app game ANGRY BIRDS have teamed up with the one and only IRON MAIDEN this Halloween, bringing you an exclusive gaming experience! Yes, Maiden's world famous mascot and heavy metal icon in his own right; EDDIE will become a playable character in "Angry Birds Evolution" as "Eddie The Bird"...a tribute to the character.

Miika Tams, VP Games and Product Lead for the project states "Our team is filled with massive Iron Maiden fans and Eddie was both our first choice and a natural fit in Angry Birds Evolution...It's about time his status as a true rock icon was celebrated and we know that fans will love seeing Eddie The Bird raise hell on Bird Island!"

Available for two weeks as a character event celebrating Halloween from October 18th, players who successfully recruit Eddie will get to keep him permanently as a member of their Angry Birds team...Llexi Leon, Interactive Creative Director at Phantom Music Management went on to say; "When you get a call from Rovio, one of the biggest entertainment companies in the world confessing that they are Maiden fans and want to celebrate Halloween with Eddie, you just have to take notice. They have outdone themselves with this incredible tribute to Maiden and the opportunity to share the bands music with their millions of players around the world. I really can't wait to play him and skittle those pigs!"

The island in-game will become an exclusively themed heavy metal oasis with a selection of Eddie evolution's to choose from, based on classic Maiden album art work, as well as featuring 100+ new colourful characters. The game is available as a free download from the iTunes App store as well as Google Play. "Can I Play With Madness?" Bruce Dickinson once asked...probably, but you can definitely play Angry Birds. Download it now.

People do this on purpose I swear...they decide to form bands with the sole intention of being so utterly terrible it hurts...I'm not exaggerating, I would rather listen to a rap battle between Prof. Stephen Hawking and Microsoft Sam in real time...speaking of rap, I would rather personally fund a new STEVE-O album...I would rather name my first born daughterROMAN REIGNS than have to go through any more of this, but, alas...it is my duty to you all to share such a monstrosity.

​Allow me to elaborate; I was sent an email containing a link to an EP, with a request to check it out and review, non-PR related, a personal email. The person in question stated that they were a casual reader of this blog, and wanted to know what I thought about their "comedy / punk" band; BANKRUPT PUG. Alarm bells are already ringing in my ears, are they baiting me?...With influences including "Music, sound effects, cartoons, alcohol and pugs", they created (they didn't write this EP, they created it, like a fucking FRANKENSTEIN monster) the "I Can't Believe I Ate The Whole Thing" EP....did I spare myself the loss of sanity and send this to the spam folder? Of course not...I wasted ten minutes of my sense of hearing only to find myself raging harder than a Red Gyarados flipping it's shit in Johto...here's what I found.

We open up with "Adopt / Adapt / Improve" and all I can say is that initially, it begins with a semi-retro vibe with it's guitar tone taking you back to the likes of THE B52's or MINUTEMEN...musically it's straightforward enough, it's upbeat, generally quirky but vocally, Pablo or Tetley, whichever one it is (Yes, they go by these names, other members include Captain Zilchio, Vlad The Creator and wait for it...Strangey McStrange) it sounds awful. There's barely any tune vocally, it's flat and, lyrics that include two boys burning a bag of dogs is just...what?! It get's worse...we follow up with "Why So Seagullrious?"(I'm not even joking) and it is beyond ridiculous. It's a softer song, it's got subtle keyboard elements that aid with the tracks melody and really it falls under pop-rock more than punk, if you took out all the words this could actually make a decent demo track for a proper band...but those words...I thought I'd heard it all but I was clearly wrong. If you spend three minutes singing about wanting to cause physical harm to a seagull while trying to feed ducks, by sticking dynamite up it's arse, you need help, you really do. I get that this is comedy punk but use that term loosely, very loosely. I hope a seagull shit's in his chips for this song...

What's next? "Golf, Strangling Animals & Masturbation"...OK you know what, I'm not even going there. It's getting to a point now where I'm unsure if I should stop writing this review right now and contact someone...like, the police, or, the RSPCA or, Jeremy Kyle, anyone! I'M going to need counselling let alone this lot! Finally we finish up then on "Marshmallow" and it's another two minutes of up-beat punk-inspired noise akin to our first track and really it's nothing special, ending rather abruptly too which quite frankly is the most merciful thing they've done here...the line "sweat out your sickness" closing the song and really, they should take their own advice, I mean, who recorded this?! Now, I can appreciate artistic merit, freedom of creativity, alternative comedy, freedom of expression and all of that, and even more so I do appreciate being personally contacted and requested, but if you're going to call yourself a comedy act please make sure there's something worth laughing at that ISN'T the fact you submitted this EP, unless, that was the whole point all along? There are other bands from Wales that utilize a comedy twist, NIGHTMARES FROM THE DISCOTHEQUE do it so much better and even BREAKDOWN FACE have found their purposefully low-quality niche...this on the other hand is just bad. Bankrupt is least of their worries, I'd put this pug down myself...[1]

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Gavin J Griffiths, a.k.a GavTheGothicChav, lover of new music and supporter of bands. Inspired by a mixture of horror and comedy, and fueled by a blend of alcohol and sarcasm...if you're singer / in a band and would like a review written up, please do get in touch via the email address at the top of the page and I'll get back to you ASAP. Much love x