Monthly Archives: October 2007

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Jason Statham will reprise the role of hitman Chev Chelios in "Crank 2: High Voltage."

In "Crank 2," Chelios faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working. [source]

A Chinaman has stolen his physical heart and replaced it with a faulty, battery-powered one.

[pause]

The writers of Pirates of the Caribbean 3 wish they'd thought of that.

"Jon, do you know where I can buy a plug adapter?"
"Why do you need a plug adapter?"
"For my blow dryer."
"Don't hotels have blow dryers?"
"Yes, but I don't know how to use them."
"What?"
"I need a blow dryer with a brush attached."

She also owns nail clippers with a magnifying glass attached.

My brother blow-dries his hair compulsively, even when it's not wet.

His hair is only about an inch long.

He's the only guy I know who blow-dries his hair.

What, exactly, is the point of leaf blowers? Blowing leaves from one place to another doesn't solve anything.

Oxygen ("television for women") has greenlighted an unscripted series that will follow rapper Coolio as he tries to balance his rap career and launching his own clothing line with his role as a single parent raising six teenagers.

"This show has a lot of inherent female appeal."

"Coolio's unconventional methods of discipline are guaranteed to entertain." [source]

Tushar claimed that I couldn't use $100 CAD bills in Ontario (wrong!).

I had to pick up hard drives today around noon, which allowed me to eat at a nearby sandwich shop that's only open during lunch hours. Its spicy turkey sandwich is mighty tasty.

After ordering, I remembered that the shop only accepts cash.

I opened my wallet.

"Fuck."

In Toronto, I decided to prove Tushar wrong at an empanaderia that I'd read good reviews of.

"I'd like a chicken empanada and a Diet Coke."
"That'll be $6.73."
"Do you accept $100 bills?"
"Well…"
"I'm just asking."
"Okay, yeah, we can accept a $100 bill."
"Oh I don't want to pay with a $100 bill!"
"No, it's cool."
"I was just…"
"I said it's cool!"
"But… [sigh]"

"That'll be $9.90."
"Will you, heh, accept Canadian bills?"
"What?"
"They're just like American bills with the current exchange rate! And look, an Asian girl on a sled! Or would you prefer…uhhh…Incan statues in a rowboat?"