Sordid Sex Stories & Erotica of a Cougar

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As I’m reading through my scrapbook, some of these I remember and laugh at. But some I barely remember or not at all. For example, this one I honestly do not remember whatsoever:

This was supposed to be a weekend getaway, but it turned out that I couldn’t get away fast enough. Probably in my early 20s, I was invited to spend the weekend in another town. There was no chivalry whatsoever. He would walk at least 3 to 5 steps in front of me, sat down at the dinner table before me, didn’t bother to open car doors, asked me for money, “joked” by saying annoying, sarcastic, demeaning things, and would put his hands on me in public to show that I was with him. On top of it all, I ended up paying for dinner! Apparently, I never saw this person again.

Meat Packer:
He never became an actual date, but I saw him at least weekly. This guy worked at my local grocery store’s meat department. He’d been flirting with me on several occassions, always making conversations, etc., but he never asked me out. So I finally got the nerve to ask him out instead. His response: “I don’t think my girlfriend would like that very much.” I was pissed and embarrassed, so I started shopping at a different store.

Stinky Pillow Guy:
Back before Tinder and Match and other dating sites, people sometimes met on Yahoo Personals. I was in my mid to late 20s when I met a guy that lived about an hour or so away. He was very polite and very sweet, even in person. We got to know each other for a few weeks online and by phone, and when I met him, I liked him. Since he lived far and I didn’t want anyone at my house, I made plans to stay the night at his house – on the couch. Our date consisted of me giggling at the fact he didn’t have many table manners, but it wasn’t because he was rude; he was just inexperienced. We went to a sushi restaurant where he proceeded to wipe his face with the o-shibori that was presented to us at dinner. Then I watched him butcher sushi rolls, because he’d never eaten it before. We then rented movies that he talked through the entire time. Finally, I prepared to sleep on his old pullout couch with an awful bar in the center that killed my back. Then he gave me a nice moldy pillow for my head, and I immediately suffered an allergy attack. I guess he assumed he was going to sleep with me and took it upon himself to jump in next to me and put his measley hands all over me before he started snoring loudly. I managed to ease my way out and left in the middle of the night and never turned back.