My comments section has been growing and taking on a life of its own since the Atrios incident. Yes, I still read all of the comments. No, I don't eagerly look forward to them the way I did six months ago. I've got arguments and insults -- plus headaches and sleepless nights, believe it or not -- because of the comments section. Reader cjstevens wrote a long and interesting comment here, and Sander wondered why I even bother to have a comments section.

Sometimes I wonder myself.

I read this post on Instapundit today about comments, and I certainly understood. When I first started my blog and all those readers came over from USS Clueless, I couldn't keep my eyes off the comments section. When I started playing with my templates and thought I had deleted my first week's comments, I broke into tears (ask my husband; he thought I was nuts). I thought I needed to cherish every comment I had, because I certainly didn't think anyone would want to read my blog once the novelty of Den Beste's link wore off.

Eight months and 55,000 hits later, the comments section has begun to weigh on my heart. What was once a spot for Carla or Mike or Tammi to shoot me an encouraging word has turned into gnawing dread in my stomach whenever I see the numbers climb higher. Every time someone comments, I feel the need to think about his words for hours. I try to understand where he's coming from, what he's thinking, why he thinks I might agree with him, and what I could possibly say to get my point across and make him see what I see.

A friend advised me to blog for myself alone, not for the adoring (or loathing) public. But every challenge that I leave unanswered haunts me. Every comment I disagree with is hours of my thoughts diverted elsewhere, when I'm sure someone else has already had the same argument elsewhere.

I've thought about shutting the comments off and just doing this for myself. I've thought about leaving them and letting them take on a life of their own without my involvement. I've thought about giving blogging up altogether because sleepless nights and stinging wounds are really the last thing I need when half of my heart is in Iraq.

I'm just stressed. And beaten down. I'm struggling to remember what the point of all of this is...

MORE TO GROK:

cjstevens, it appears the director of Gunner Palace will be on CNN News Night with Aaron Brown tonight (30 Jun). See if you can check it out.

MORE TO GROK:

Please keep in mind that I'm not necessarily talking about "abuse" here. Yeah, the comments were pretty nasty there for a while, but mostly now it's civil. It's just so much for one brain to handle.

My alarm goes off at 0630. Lately I've been dragging it out until 0700. I read for an hour, get ready, go to work until 1600, come home, shovel some food in my mouth, and go to the neighboring post to teach for three hours. (On nights that I don't teach, I'm watching Band of Brothers, which isn't exactly light entertainment.) I return around 2145 and then read and blog some more. I rarely make it into bed by 2300 and I'm lying there thinking about Michael Moore and Iraq and elections until midnight or 0100. I just can't shut it off.

Writing my own posts keeps me occupied; thinking of how I would respond to five different people who all have different ideas about Moore and Iraq and elections is making me insane.

So I apologize if you're a commenter and I don't give you a direct answer to your comment. It doesn't mean I'm not losing sleep over it.

1
I shut down comments some time ago (it may be close to a year now). My feeling is that the people whose opinions I value know how to get in touch with me. People whose opinions I don't value are free to get their own blog(s) and disagree with me.

2
You do what is right for YOU. I was just reading thru the latest batch of comments and found myself getting angry for you.
Don't you worry - if we want to get an encouraging word to you, or agree with any of the wonderful things you say, we will find a way!

3
Oh, dear. Well, I always like it when a blog has open comments, as they're often fun or interesting to read. On the other hand, I read the blogs that I do because of the blog's author, not because of the comments--and if the comments are causing you too much pain, then get rid of them! Blogging without comments is much better than not blogging (or less, or resentful, or whatever blogging) with comments.
Also, you could always open comments on those posts you really want feedback on (with strict rules about staying OT), and since you post a way to contact you by email, it's not like you're entirely unreachable.
Regardless of what you decide, I'll still be reading ya!

4
It just sucks when mean people come to your house and harasss you! Maybe you can turn off comments for a week or so and see how it goes. I'm not sure how long I would take the abuse.
Just don't let it stop you from blogging altogether - that would really suck!

6
Wow. I am sorry if my comments have contributed to your problems. I am not really used to this single POV blog stuff. I am a more used to free-for-alls like USENET, kuro5hin.org and slashdot.org. I have always thought that posting a topic for discussion was just the beginning...that the comments were alway where the interesting stuff was.
I would encourage you to make people sign-up for account and verify their email. Consider comment moderation as a way of controlling the trolls and keeping the signal to noise ratio high. I don't know if MT supports that kind of stuff, but it is worth checking out.
I am sorry if I ruffled any feathers along the way...I don't want to cause any problems. I, for one, will be moving along.
Best wishes to you and your loved ones.

Posted by: rfidtag at June 30, 2004 04:46 PM (nO9sv)

7
The Democrats ideas died with Clinton --- They now have nothing to believe in, nothing to be for, nothing to promote --- They only have resentment, hate, anger, and attacks --- They have focused their lack of ideas into an attack on Bush.
I always ask them what their for, what they beleive in -- they always answer with an attack on Bush --- I then ask if Bush was gone would everything be changed and everything be "milk and honey"
-- It is at this point they curse and call me names
This is why you hear nothing about Kerry -- This election is all about Bush --- ANYONE could be running from the Democrats and the result would be the same ---- The Democrat Party has died --- it is now the anti-Republican Party --- anything the Republicians are for, the Deomcrats are against -- this is why they can say and do anything as the have no principles, no ideas, they are only anti-Bush
The death of their ideas policy and future leaves only hate and anger
AND this is why they write as they do to you --- it is they way they respond to anyone they disagree with --- as proof,,, do they offer any suggestions for improvement or a different couse of action?
Retreat and do nothing never solves any problem but it was the policy of Clinton --- and it is their policy too

Posted by: Mikeee at June 30, 2004 04:54 PM (HM88F)

8
Wowsa, quite a schedule, and here I am sleeping most of my days away and tending to ignore my blog on work days.
Very impressive young Sarah.
Kal

9
Just found this about "hate posters" at Andrew Sullivans site
EMAIL OF THE DAY: "Your article about William Raspberry's review of Moore's movie is right on target. Unfortunately, as I can tell you as a black person, Raspberry's irrational views are shared by many black people. I've never seen so many people who I always respected and always considered to be intelligent say so many crazy things, "Bush is the same as Saddam." "Saddam was not as bad as Bush." "The U.S. is the worst country in the world to live in." I kid you not. In the meantime, not one liberal or black person has anything to say about what Arabs are doing to black people in North and East African. The whole thing is very disturbing. Objections to Bush and the U.S. as a whole have gone way beyond any realistic criticsm of anything that is wrong. It's just hatred and a wish for destruction, after which I guess we will all live in brotherhood under Muslim rule! I just listen to people. I've given up trying to discuss it. People become enraged and start telling me I'm a self hating black, Uncle Tom, etc." - more feedback on the Letters Page.
Seems alot of people are being attacked like you---
don't give up then they win

Posted by: Mikeee at June 30, 2004 06:23 PM (HM88F)

10
Sarah,
Thanks for your acknowledgement. The Internet is a wild and wooly place, and "ruffly" subjects like politics tend to bring all sorts of characters out of the woodwork. The blogging atmosphere is particularly confusing. Blogging is a way of reaching out to a readership because it is so public. For this reason, it's natural to feel that any comment made on an entry is directed toward you. I commented this way at first, but then started commenting more in general terms toward commenters and yourself without necessarily expecting a response. But I'll be totally honest: I can't say I know how you feel, as I've never been in your shoes. Maybe that should be a sign to me to take it easy. I apologize. I can somewhat-understand your mention about the "numbers climbing higher," though... here, when the number of comments on an entry bumps into the tens and twenties, one can bet there's a fire raging within.
I would actually recommend the idea of turning off comments entirely, or having them on only for certain posts. The latter option may or may not be possible depending on what you're using to run your comments. Or, perhaps you can make an account on a bulletin board site and link to it from your blog, directing commenters to that bulletin board. In terms of writing just for yourself alone, a journal/diary/whatever-you-want-to-call-it may be a good idea if you don't have one. At least, it seems helpful for me (yes, I admit to having a "diary").
Thanks for your information on Gunner Palace. The CNN NewsNight page (for some reason, I can't make a link to it) states that the show comes on at 10pm eastern time. Unfortunately, I won't be around at that time, but it looks like a transcript should be up some time afterward. I'm looking forward to it. Take care, Sarah... thank you for your patience with us.

Posted by: cjstevens at June 30, 2004 08:14 PM (FdYMc)

11
Better than Gunner Place but not a movie is the new book Generation Kill. The embedded author spent serious time with the forward Humvees, an interview with him is at the link below. He tells things in the interview that are not in the book, apparently, so it is a must-read. It is great because he thoroughly respects the soldiers personally, and reports only what they went through, but in the end it is an indictment on the horrible mess there. No wonder only 2percent of Iraqis view the US as liberators.
http://www.laweekly.com/ink/04/30/books-donnelly.php

Specialist Rodriguez is one example. He broke his leg some months ago. He was offered the chance to deploy out of Iraq. He chose to stay. When his unit was deployed to Karbala, he cut off his cast. A person told him today that "we aren't paid enough to do that." Immediately, he and the other soldiers responded that it isn't about the money; that we do this for much more important reasons.

When I was 15, I arranged a good surprise for my dad: tickets to a Three Dog Night concert in Peoria. I ordered the tickets and hid them behind my sock drawer (as if he would go snooping in my sock drawer anyway). The night of the concert, he drove us downtown while I directed from the passenger seat since I couldn't drive yet. As we rounded the corner onto Main Street, he looked at me and said, "We're not going to the strip club, are we?"

It was a great concert and a great night; I'll never forget my dad's confident look as he said, "The encore has to be Eli's Coming." I'll always remember that father/daughter outing.

Another friend approached me. This one was not religious but he was one of the conspiracy theory believers. He put his hands on my shoulders and said smiling, I must admit that Im beginning to believe in what youve been telling us for months and Im beginning to have faith in America. I never thought that they will hand us sovereignty in time. These people have shown that they keep their promises.

Historians will someday recognize June 28, 2004 as one of the most important days of our century. The United States, a nation of unopposable military might, invaded smaller, weaker Iraq and conquered it. We said we'd done it to rid the world of a murderous tyrant. Our detractors said we did it for oil, or for domestic political gain, or for any of a number of other contemptible reasons. We expunged the tyrant's government root and branch, then supervised Iraq's transition from the chaos of war back to a semblance of peace and order, despite many attempts to disrupt it. On June 28, we gave the Iraqi people freedom and autonomy, with a sincere promise of assistance should their embryonic republic encounter any difficulties it was still too young to handle.

We gave our blood and treasure to liberate Iraq from the villainy of Saddam Hussein. Then we gave our word that Iraq would be freed from our supervision as well. Then we stood by it. That is the significance of Paul Bremer's "scrap of paper."

1
It wasn't worth it. Americans have plenty of unmet needs right here at home to take of before we worry about 'liberating' countries that pose us no harm.
It may be a nice thing to do but then so would have been spending all that money creating jobs for US citizens.

Posted by: dc at June 30, 2004 03:31 PM (s6c4t)

2
Thanks for the link, Sarah.
DC, when I hear people rant about "unmet needs," my immediate reaction is to tell them, "So if you can see them, what are you standing around whining for? Go meet them!" After that usually comes the punch on the nose.
"Government is not reason, it is not eloquence -- it is force!" -- George Washington. Force is good for meeting very few "unmet needs" -- but one of them is deposing vicious murdering tyrants and setting their victims free. So let government do with its force what force is best suited for, and tend to your preferred "unmet needs" with your own blood and treasure.

3
Yikes, you have it exactly backwards.
This is our government. We pay taxes to our government for our common benefit. The government does not exist apart from the people; it does not exist to wreak havoc on tyrannies around the world. It exists to serve our needs.
If you want to expend your own blood and treasure fighting tyrannies around the world have at it. There are no gaurds at the border to keep you here. Just don't ask the rest of us to bail you out when you get a nosebleed.

June 29, 2004

BANZAI

Tim offered a touching analogy for the handover to Iraq: "kinda like being tossed the keys to a brand new convertible and being told to take her out for a spin." Naturally, being the dork that I am, I thought of the scene where the Karate Kid got his license and he took off in the yellow convertible, with Mr. Miagi yelling BANZAI! as he drove away. I like the idea of being Mr. Miagi.

My friend and I just went and raided our post's thrift shop for SGT Hooks' Operation Shoe Fly. Expect a box soon, Hook. If anyone else has old shoes in the closet or ten bucks to spend at the Salvation Army, Afghani children could use the footwear.

1
My best comment about Moor's poor excuse for a movie (so far):
Well, the verdict on the opening weekend of Fahrenheit 9/11 is in. Congratulations to Michael Moore! His fake-umentary, raking in a whopping $23,920,637, just barely managed to beat the awesome opening weekend box office take (in unadjusted dollars) of last year's box-office smash "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" by $145,787. This puts him at a solid #187 for all-time great opening weekends. Better luck next time, Mr. Moore.

3
People, it opened in 850 theaters and it's a documentary! Top grossing documentary ever in only three days, #1 in per-theater sales this year and #11 in per-theater sales ever.
Why are you so petty?
P.S. Yes, the Addams Family should be higher.

Posted by: Sander at June 29, 2004 06:27 AM (9v8mw)

4
Documentary? B------t, sure it will win an Oscar for it this year, but it is NOT a documentary.
Petty? This is not petty reaction to the success of a filmmaker. This is the defense of our nation. I cannot speak for everyone, but I must say that this movie is NOT helping this country move forward into the future.
We need to look at the hard truths in the world, not stick our heads up our arses and cackle at how much fun it is to slam Bush and company while we ignore the stink of where we are.
The hard truths are that fanatical people are trying to kill you, me, sarah, Bush, even Moore. They are trying to destroy our society, the only one that allows for him to make his movies, and us to discuss them. His movies are NOT helping, they are actually hindering.
If I was petty, I'd have long ago figured out how much money Leni Reifenstahl, or even Goebbels movies made, and compared the two, that would be petty, not to mention dishonest.
Instead what I try to do is point out that some people base their world view on this crap. They don't research for themselves, they don't bother to learn about the world, but eat up Moore's movies as gospel truth. The worst part is, they then vote based on what the likes of Moore say.
An ignorant person with a gun is orders of magnitude more dangerous to themselves and others than a trained person with a gun. Believing this movie to be a good thing, or even half true, is akin to putting a loaded pistol in a childs hands and telling them that it won't hurt if they pull the trigger when they aim it at their head.

5
Wow, John.
Heard about "Imperial Hubris"? "A new book by a senior CIA analyst who headed the agency's task force on Osama bin Laden sharply attacks the Bush administration's approach to Islamic terrorists...
"The author argues it is not dislike of freedom, democracy and Western culture that led bin Laden to wage war against America, but rather his disdain for U.S. policies and actions in the Muslim world, particularly America's relationship with Israel.
"Senior U.S. leaders mistakenly urge Americans to believe that the Islamic world is offended by the nation's philosophical emphasis on personal rights and liberties, and 'that Muslims hate and attack us for what we are and think, rather than for what we do.'"
http://www.cair-net.org/asp/article.asp?id=33813&page=NB
Also, I notice you use the words "this movie is NOT helping this country move forward". Do you have some connection to the "moveamericaforward.com" crowd, claiming to be a grassroots movement against Moore but the lie was discovered in that the site was set up by GOP lawyers? I have been wondering if they are sending people to post on internet forums.

6
Since I didn't bring up Bin Laden's motivations, just his goals, what does a new book by some purported CIA agent have to do with anything?
I've never heard of move america forward, other than you referencing it twice.
I'm not affiliated with anyone, I do my own research without relying on someone elses talking points.
And it is all well and good to attack Bush's approach to terrorism, but, what is your alternative, a return to appeasement and isolation? That brought us 9/11, next time they'll use nukes.
Also, I don't care if all the arabs in the world blame isreal for their problems, or cite it as the root of their whole deal, that does not mean isreal is the problem. After all, I can crap in my hands and claim it is a puppy, but that won't make me right, just give me stinky hands.
Do you realize that it is their goal to kill all jews, and destroy that country? Of course you do, but you don't seem to think there is anything wrong with that.
Council of American and Islamic Relations? (cair), you need to come up with better references, ones that aren't tainted with the blood of innocents.
You have said nothing I do not already know, and I really doubt you can find anything new, and yet we draw two different conclusions.
No amount of wishful thinking will get me to blame myself, or my country for the acts of others. Every person in this world is responsible for their actions, including the terrorists. There is no need to murder millions to achieve solutions to problems in this world, unless your goal is explicitly the murder of those people. To excuse their violent tactics and murders by saying it is our fault is blindness, nay, madness. I myself would gladly sacrifice my life for my country, and it's people. Is there anything that you would defend with your life?

8
@John,
I still can't get my head around the fact that you haven't seen the movie, but are certain that it aides the terrorist or some paranoid crap.
Instead what I try to do is point out that some people base their world view on this crap. They don't research for themselves, they don't bother to learn about the world, but eat up Moore's movies as gospel truth. The worst part is, they then vote based on what the likes of Moore say.Wtf? You're essentially saying that free speech is dangerous to the uninformed public. That, sir, is an affront to everything the United States stands for. <snark>If you don't like it, go live in some country where dissent is illegal, see if you like that better.</snark>
@bos,
yeah, but I don't get why someone who understands the roots of the problem would propose the solution he does.

Posted by: Sander at June 29, 2004 08:59 AM (9v8mw)

9
We shouldn't be surprised that someone is actually saying we did that because of that movie(?). Afterall, we started this war over oil and personal revenge. At least that's what they're trying to tell me (arrggghhhh - sometimes I just get so darn frustrated with it all)

10
Free speech is dangerous, no doubt about that. Why do you think that totalitarian governments do not allow it in their countries. An uninformed public is dangerous as well. Perpetuating ignorance by promoting Moore's movie is dangerous. Danger is all around, life is dangerous and leads to death 100% of the time.
Yet you imply that I do not advocate for free speech, and nothing could be further from the truth. Re-read everything I have said, at no point to I advocate muzzling anyone. I have not said that Moore's film aids terrorists, I have said it perpetuates ignorance by distorting reality, which is dangerous to the future of this country.
Michael Moore's film is not the truth, and if I see it a million times that will not change. Debating the nuances of his filming technique is a waste of time, as it means nothing. His point of the movie is understood without having to see the film, just read his website.
BTW, you are free to answer the question I posed to bos as well, I would love to hear both of your responses.

11
The NY Post is a Newspaper.
Fox News is a fair and balanced Cable News Network.
But Fahrenheit 9/11 is not repeat *not* a Documentary!
.......................................right.

Posted by: rfidtag at June 29, 2004 10:04 AM (XxIKf)

12
Also, if you were really interested in correct Box Office math you would read Box Office Mojo:
Fahrenheit's $27,558 per theater average ranks as the second highest all time for a wide release (adjusting for ticket price inflation knocks it down to No. 11) and the best of 2004, ahead of The Passion of the Christ's $27,554 and Shrek 2's $25,951. However, they were super-saturation releases playing at 3,043 and 4,163 theaters respectively -- the lower the theater count, the easier it is to have a high average as the release isn't diluted by less populous locations with lower ticket prices.

Fahrenheit's performance harkens back to the days when big movies wouldn't play in every nook and cranny of the country, but would bow at around 700 or 1,000 theaters to sell out crowds. Perhaps the greatest example of this, Return of the Jedi debuted to $23 million at 1,002 theaters in 1983, which would adjust to $45 million by today's ticket prices. In terms of raw dollars, Fahrenheit is actually the biggest opening ever for a movie playing at less than 1,000 theaters, topping Rocky III's $12.4 million at 939 venues.

But hell, you guys won't even go see the movie and then judge it...

Posted by: rfidtag at June 29, 2004 10:18 AM (XxIKf)

13
No, I won't see the movie. No, it is not a documentary. It is a documentary like "Waiting for Guffman" or "This is Spinal Tap". "Bowling for Columbine" one an Oscar for documentaries, yet it wasn't one, either.
I won't see it simply because I'm not interested, not because it is a Michael moore movie. I'm not interested in blow-it-up, shoot-it-up, say-f*** a lot movies either. Congratulations to Moore for breaking the record. I doubt the movie will be on top very long because those who are interested will see it the first weekend, and the rest of us will vote with our feet.

15
Mike, the definition of documentary is not exactly straight forward. Whether F911 is a documentary is debatable.
I am assuming that your main complaint with the Oscar award winning Bowling for Columbine are the facts presented. After all, according to the Oscar awards rules the main defining attribute of a documentary is that it is non-fiction. But what else is there to it? Here is the full text of the definition:
DEFINITION
An eligible documentary film is defined as a theatrically released non-fiction motion picture dealing creatively with cultural, artistic, historical, social, scientific, economic or other subjects. It may be photographed in actual occurrence, or may employ partial re-enactment, stock footage, stills, animation, stop-motion or other techniques, as long as the emphasis is on fact and not on fiction.
A film that is primarily a promotional film, a purely technical instructional film or an essentially unfiltered record of a performance will not be considered eligible for consideration for the Documentary awards.
I think we can all agree that documentaries all have a point to prove or disprove. So the question is what rules does Bowling for Columbine violate exactly? If the problem is playing fast and loose with the facts, then let's see some well documented specifics. Then we can have a constructive discussion on the merits of the film.
My point is that only by seeing it and proving the illegitimacy of the facts presented can you challenge its classification of documentary film.
My personal view is that it is a documentary.

Posted by: rfidtag at June 29, 2004 11:46 AM (XxIKf)

16
How about cutting two different speaches by Heston to appear as if they were one speach.
Or maybe adding text to a political ad from Bush/Dukakis to falsify what was originally aired.
Or maybe labelling a Nasa booster rocket plant as a missle factory.
Etc etc etc, google is a wonderful tool, use it.

20
The Michael Moore documentary is not only a well done fact filled indictment of the Bush administration it is also one of the most patriotic films ever made.
If you are an American you will not only come away from the film more informed but also a little prouder of our service men and women and the sacrifices they willingly make for us at home.

Posted by: dc at June 29, 2004 01:46 PM (s6c4t)

21
John, google like all tools, can be misused. Why don't you try providing a *link*. I will try to give you links proving otherwise.
For instance, you said:
"Or maybe labelling a Nasa booster rocket plant as a missle factory." and I reply with "gee John, I read it says here on wikipedia that the plant was used as a missile factory..."
McCollum has later clarified that the plant he works for does not still produce missiles (the plant manufactured parts for intercontinental ballistic missiles with a nuclear warhead in the mid-1980s), but rockets used for launching satellites which Aviation Week & Space Technology describes as being used "for the rapid targeting of Navy Tomahawk cruise missiles involved in Iraqi strikes". (Cruise missiles are, of course, a potential weapon of mass destruction). Indeed, the plant was also used to take former nuclear missiles out of service, converting decommissioned Titan missiles into launch vehicles for these targeting satellites. Since the interview was conducted in the plant, and on the backdrop of these rockets, critics charge that Moore was misleading his viewers by implying (without saying so) that this particular plant still produced missiles. Some critics have also incorrectly claimed that Moore actually makes that statement. However, he does not, which is why McCollum does not balk at his statement in the interview.
The only research you seem to want to do is the kind that supports your arguments, which is fine, but please actually provide some references.

Posted by: rfidtag at June 29, 2004 04:06 PM (XxIKf)

22
What--for 3 years you hear the BS propaganda from one side of the political spectrum and accept it as gospel truth. Now someone spews BS propaganda from the other side and "it must all be lies."
I worry for the future when the skill of critical thinking seems to be in such sad decline.

Posted by: FP at June 29, 2004 04:12 PM (pFyC+)

23
You haven't disproved the one, and you got three more to go. Keep trying.

26
I challenge any of you who think Moore is an honest filmmaker to read this site, objectively if you are able, and refute it point by point.
I'll be waiting.
Why should I? Michael Moore already did a point by point on that tired old site. Somewhere between the extremes is the truth. I just happen to think MM is more credible of the two.
http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/wackoattacko/

June 28, 2004

PRICE

From Band of Brothers, Part 8: The Last Patrol:

I wondered if people back home would ever know what it cost the soldiers to win this war. In America things were already beginning to look like peacetime: the standard of living was on the rise, racetracks and nightclubs were booming, you couldn't get a hotel room in Miami Beach it was so crowded. How could anyone ever know of the price paid by soldiers in terror, agony, and bloodshed if they'd never been to places like Normandy, Bastogne, and Haguenau?

1How could anyone ever know of the price paid by soldiers in terror, agony, and bloodshed if they'd never been to places like Normandy, Bastogne, and Haguenau?
This is very true and crucial, unfortunately. I suspect it will always be this way, as some things can only be understood through direct experience.

My in-laws called in a panic yesterday: since I hadn't done any blogging, something had to be wrong! Nothing's wrong really; I've just been in a funk lately I can't shake. I think I'm homelandsick.

While my husband is gone, I clean up his email and get rid of all the junk. Last week I noticed a folder with my name on it; closer inspection revealed it as Sarah in Sweden. I had no idea he had saved those old emails; I took a trip through the past, reading all my messages from my summer in Örnsköldsvik. And I was homelandsick then too...

I used to think that homesick was only the feeling of missing your family or loved ones. I thought I did not get homesick. But yesterday, I got a different kind of sick. I am homelandsick. I miss the United States. I want to use free bathrooms. I want to drink out of a cup that is bigger than a salt shaker. I want to eat chips and drink Pepsi. I want to drive somewhere instead of walking. I dont want to eat so many fruits and vegetables. I want to watch TV. I want to see baggy jeans and dirty white baseball caps. I want the sun to go down, so I can see lightning bugs. And I want to leave my shoes on in the house.

Today I boycotted Swedish meals and ate pizza and chips and salsa for lunch. Somehow this just hit me yesterday. My friends and I went on a trip along the coast. It was beautiful, and I took lots of beautiful photos.

But I miss corn fields and huge houses and horizon as far as the eye can see.

I think it was this Mudville post that started it. Maybe it's hearing other wives talk about their plans for trips home and knowing that I won't be going until my husband returns. Maybe it's 4th of July around the corner. Maybe it's everything. I just want to go home.

I wasn't kidding when I said I'd rather be golfing with Bunker. And I suck at golf. I think most people here would faint if they knew my husband and I tried to trade our Germany slot for Fort Hood, but I can't think of anything better right now than going to the Alamo. Or to Vegas. Or just to Subway.

I'm such a patriot that I can't stand to be out of my country for this long.

1
Don't get too down. Things will pick back up for you. A friend just returned from visiting his daughter in Germany, and he was glad to be back. I'm the same way. There are just too many things in this country I haven't seen to go wandering around the world looking for more. I still haven't been to the Black Hills, and I want to see Yosemite again. Washington is one of my favorite cities in the entire world--so much to do there. I've been four times and still want more.
I keep trying to plan a road trip from Corpus Christi through Big Bend to Vegas, then back along the northern route to the Grand Canyon, Painted Desert, then back to Corpus across the Llano Estacado and Comanche Country.
There will be time for golf when you get back!

2
Two weeks before the end of my semester abroad in Paris, a friend and I went to London for the weekend. In the 48 hours that we were there, we went to Starbucks five times, just because we were so homelandsick, and Starbucks was a comforting place--exactly the same as it in the U.S.
I like traveling a lot, but I also love the States. Having your husband away probably makes being in removed from the U.S. that much harder, but having him back--and going back to the States with him--will be that much sweeter.
PS--Yes, that website is mine.

1
Michael Moore's new documentary on the war in Iraq and Bush lies is a real eye opener.
If only the media had shown as much courage a year ago as Moore does in this film our soldiers would probably not be sacrificing their lives in vain today.

4
No, I am not kidding. I am surprised that you would think a search for the truth is something to kid about though, especially with a husband serving in the military.
See the film. Think about the propaganda we where deluged with from the mainstream media leading up to this war. It is not disrespectful to your husband to distrust the administration and the media and any others whose hand put him his untenable situation.

6
There's some interesting discussion about Moore's movie going on over at slashdot.org, and you can get to it here. (The link I gave is threshold of 5 to remove a bunch of the junk comments... the default conversation is here and is huge.)

Posted by: cjstevens at June 27, 2004 11:53 PM (fDuiT)

7
cj, yes, I was talking about that conservative critique. The link was connected to my name. What do you think? I know it made me a lot more open-minded about the film. There a lot of stories going around about Republicans changing their minds after seeing the film.

8
bos,
It is interesting... I can't say too much, as I haven't done much reading on Rockwell or Grigg, nor have I seen the film (yet), but I'm more motivated to see it now, especially after having read all of the comments on slashdot. And sarah, that is an interesting film that you link to, and I'm wondering what I'd have to do to see it (unless I missed an obvious link somewhere?).

10
Hmmm, I just read that 'conservative critique'. Seemed pretty empty of content other than to say "Bush is bad, and oh, I'm a conservative so it means more when I say it." No substantial discussion of the movie, it's pros or cons. The fact that the movie is provably pushing deliberate falsehoods.
Oh, and if you want to cite this as an impartial, or even conservative writer who was swayed by the movie, try to find someone who doesn't already think of the president as a "Bu'ushist" (an oh-so-witty take off of Ba'athist.
Michael Moore has produced a work of propaganda. This is not truth, nor a documentary. It is selected clips, selected facts, and selected interviews, not presented because they represent a wide sample of American opinion or history, but because they fit the mindset he wants to perpetuate. Anyone who sees this movie and thinks that it resembles the truth and uses at a basis for their worldview has a serious wake-up call coming. The pure hypocrisy to claim that Bush lied to get us into this misbegottenwar, all the while lying to his audience is astounding. Anyone who can use google to find out that Richard Clarke signed the order to let the Bin Laden's leave the US can demonstrate that this movie is flat out bullshit.
My 5 year old newphew can prove this movie is crap, yet there are apparently loads of people out there who don't have that same ability.
Granted, he is home schooled so he is quite a bit more educated than average, but he's still 5.
Pathetic.
Oh, and it means more when I say it cause I'm an ultra-liberal.

12
Wow, John, you sound angry. "Infestation"? Anyone who disagrees is vermin, is that it?
So far, besides hairsplitting about the fact that Richard Clarke while a high official in the White House allowed the Bin Ladens to leave the US right after 9/11 (but this is somehow very different from the White House allowing it), the Move America Forward people haven't come up with much against this movie. Most reviewers across the board say its main points stand up. Fox news gave it a positive review!
Speaking of lying, Move America Forward called itself a grassroots organization, but was caught as founded by GOP lawyers.
Since I first wrote I have met two Republicans who are going to vote against Bush. Something is happening.

13
Do not presume to put words in my mouth, the term vermin comes from you, not me. If you do not understand the first post, ask and I will explain. I'm sure Sarah understands it on more than just a base level, and it is meant for her and not you, as this is her site.
I do not need to see this movie. I have researced it, read reviews both pro and con. I understand what his point is without setting foot in the theater, his aims, views, and methods are pretty transparent and easily digested. To defend this movie as anything other than pure propaganda is really a stretch if not done at least tongue in cheek.
I see you equate the media coverage before the war with propaganda:
"Think about the propaganda we where deluged with from the mainstream media leading up to this war. It is not disrespectful to your husband to distrust the administration and the media and any others whose hand put him his untenable situation. "
The term "Rush to War" is propaganda pushing a war? I seem to recall many conditions set not by the administration, but by the media, the public, indeed the world, that were met and surpassed. Yet you claim that Michael Moore is speaking the truth?
Heh, wow.

15
@John,
via Atrios, from FAIR:Seventy-six percent of all sources were current or former officials, leaving little room for independent and grassroots views. Similarly, 75 percent of U.S. sources (199/267) were current or former officials.
At a time when 61 percent of U.S. respondents were telling pollsters that more time was needed for diplomacy and inspections (2/6/03), only 6 percent of U.S. sources on the four networks were skeptics regarding the need for war.
Sources affiliated with anti-war activism were nearly non-existent. On the four networks combined, just three of 393 sources were identified as being affiliated with anti-war activism-- less than 1 percent. Just one of 267 U.S. sources was affiliated with anti-war activism-- less than half a percent.
...
Overall, 68 sources, or 17 percent of the total on-camera sources, represented skeptical or critical positions on the U.S.'s war policy-- ranging from Baghdad officials to people who had concerns about the timing of the Bush administration's war plans. The percentage of skeptical sources ranged from 21 percent at PBS (22 of 106) to 14 percent at NBC (18 of 125). ABC (16 of 92) and CBS (12 of 70) each had 17 percent skeptics.
So 1.5 hours of a POV from the anti-war side pales in comparison to pre-war pro-war voices.
And please, just go see the damn thing (download it from some p2p network if you don't want to give the man your money) and give your opinion (YOUR opinion) then.

Posted by: Sander at June 28, 2004 03:10 PM (9v8mw)

16
John,
Yes, please do explain your first post ("Seems like an infestation..."), if that is alright; I am also curious as to its meaning.

Posted by: cjstevens at June 28, 2004 03:53 PM (fDuiT)

17
Isn't Lew Rockwell a LaRouchie or a Buchannite? Isn't he one of those people who believes that Jews are in control of American foreign policy?
Not any kind of conservative I'm familliar with...

Posted by: Joe Schmoe at June 28, 2004 08:45 PM (IGZtU)

18
>>>I see you equate the media coverage before the war with propaganda:
"Think about the propaganda we where deluged with from the mainstream media leading up to this war. It is not disrespectful to your husband to distrust the administration and the media and any others whose hand put him his untenable situation. "<<<
The New York Times recently offered a semi-apology for it's shoddy reporting on WMD leading up to the war. The source for it's false reports turns out to have been Chalabi, with confirmations from the Cheney, Rumsfield, Wolfowitz crowd in the administration. The stories were all false, not a shred of truth among them.
The CIA warned the administration that Chalabi was not to be trusted. But it seems he served the purpose of the war crowd to well to be dismissed.
I think it is safe to call those stories and others like them 'propaganda'. They certainly were not the truth and they served the interests of the admininstration who wanted to go to war with Iraq and needed to convince the public to follow.
BTW Chalabi it turns out, along with being a convicted felon in Syria for bank fraud, was an agent for Iran. After given top secret briefings by high level administration figures he passed this information to Iran. Now Iran knows we cracked their encryption and knows how our military strategist deploy forces in the face of an uprising.

Posted by: dc at June 28, 2004 10:19 PM (s6c4t)

19
bos, cjstevens and dc, it means you are trolls....
Why you choose to comment here otherwise is beyond me. I have seen no attempts at rational discussion, nor any give and take, only attempts to club sarah and other over the head with your worldview.
Get your own blog....
Atrios... yeah, there is a non biased source of information. Show me the raw numbers you cite, not the extracts that Atrios pushes.

20
Why you choose to comment here otherwise is beyond me.
This is the Internet. I first arrived at this block from a Google Search for "grok the vote" (a spin on MTV's Rock The Vote), which I thought would be a good name for a website designed to motivate the tech or "geek" communities to become politically involved. No website with such a name existed, and Sarah's blog came out as the top-ranked search result. It interested me, so I decided to stay and read. I'd make the analogy of someone standing at a street corner with a sign and leaflets. Some passers-by will invariably pick up a handout even if no attempt is made to give them one. Word will get around; discussions will start. This is, in my opinion, A Good Thing (TM).
I have seen no attempts at rational discussion . . .
Fine: dc used the word "propaganda" first, then eventually followed up with a mention of a publication in the New York Times. Sure, I'd also like to see a link to an article. You used the word "propaganda" and offered nothing. When sander gave information on news outlets skeptical to U.S. war policy, you struck down his source. Fine, I'd like to see "raw numbers" as well... from him and you. Let's all hold one another to the same standard.
. . . nor any give and take . . .
Well, I can speak for myself: I offered no rational discussion, nor did I pretend to; I gave only links and questions. You admit that you have not seen the movie (at least you are honest here) and then state that it is "not truth, nor a documentary" and give no reasons why. How does that allow for "give and take?" Perhaps we aren't as enlighened as your 5-year old. Help us along; that's how knowledge is spread.
. . . only attempts to club sarah and other over the head with your worldview.
Would you point out where we have "clubbed" sarah over the head? This is part of the problem with a pure-text medium: oftentimes, words alone aren't sufficient to convey a good sense of meaning or intent, like vocal cues or body language would in an in-person conversation. When I asked Sarah if she knew more information about Gunner Palace, I was being serious and honestly curious; I meant no malice at all. Perhaps you took my question as sarcasm? And now that you mention it, explain what my worldview is.
Get your own blog....
And from earlier:
If you do not understand the first post, ask and I will explain. I'm sure Sarah understands it on more than just a base level, and it is meant for her and not you, as this is her site.
I'll repeat it: this is the Internet. In posting something on a web server, you make it public; you share it with the connected world. You -allow- people to read it. To assume otherwise is to invite disappointment; I presume you understand this already, as you have your own blog. If a bunch of kiddies filled your page with obscene language and senseless yelling, I'd expect you to get angry. The other people in this thread have done nothing comparable, however. We may be heated, but your comments suggest that you top us all currently in the thermal department.
What's the point of having a discussion with only those who agree with you? I'm glad that I found sarah's blog; I frequent it because it challenges me to think, and I have found other interesting and mind-challenging sites through it. Yes, I and others will say things that will miff her and others as well, but we can deal with that; are we not adults? You even voluntarily linked to your blog right in this thread; is that an invitation to visit it? I can't quite imagine how furious you would get if we "trolls" mentioned our "worldview" in your very own comments pages.
There are publishing mediums on the Internet that allow users to control access to their posts. Livejournal is one of these, and I'm sure there are others that give more features and flexibility. I don't know if sarah expected or was prepared for the popularity her site has begun to receive. And for the record, sarah: if you want me to stop visiting your site, I will respect your wishes, no questions asked. Just be aware that your site's popularity may continue to increase, bringing surprises both good and bad. But enough of me; I depart from this thread.

Posted by: cjstevens at June 29, 2004 04:36 AM (fDuiT)

21
@John & cjstevens, I didn't even link to Atrios, only the Fair report. The frequency tables are in there.
On sources,
of course Atrios is biased (so are you and so is almost everybody else), but being biased doesn't necessarily mean you peddle in untruths, but does mean you often report what you find interesting. Now if you can find a counterpoint to this report I'm happy to hear it.

Posted by: Sander at June 29, 2004 06:39 AM (9v8mw)

22
CJ, thanks for laying it all out so politely and succintly. I hope that you get good responses from the laptop warriors in your efforts out there. From what I have seen they usually get belligerent, defensive or just run and hide after yelling "troll".

June 26, 2004

SLEEPY

For some reason, my body just decided to reject sleep last night. I got in bed at 2315. At 0120 I took a Tylenol PM and read for half an hour. At 0300 I was really starting to get mad. At 0445 my friend's dog (I was puppysitting again) woke me up with his snoring. At 0550 the dog wanted to play. And my alarm went off at 0630 to go in to work.

So all the blogging I can muster today is that you might be interested in this and this.
And make sure to watch this.

For the record, my feelings for Red 6 are not weird. Yes, I did say I love him: he's like a third brother to me, and he says I'm like an extra sister-in-law to him. In our house we jokingly call him my second husband. My husband loves him as well, and he knows I have enough love in my heart at the end of the day for more than one soldier...

I read this today in the comments section on another blog. It's part of a longer rant I won't bother with.

The first iraq war was a mistake. Iraq (former babylon) used to be one of the richest most prosperous countries in the world and was the center for trade in the middle-east. The british during there imperialism invaded and took over kuwait which later gained sovereinty. This left Iraq with no access to water and they lost all there trade and the country went to shit. To add salt in the wounds oil was discovered in 1978. So to the Iraqi people a piece of their land that had had owned for 1000's of years was taken from them causing their economy to colapse.
Now I am in no way saying Sadam was right in his methods but you must understand the culture. Sadam came into power by killing the former leader as did he and so on. When you rule a country like this you must rule it with fear. At any moment he could be overthrown. We can't contemplait this because we haven't lived that way for thousands of years.

Wow. I can't help but think of the wonderful Onion parody a few years back. Point (college student): Nigeria is a land filled with culture. Counterpoint (Nigerian): Get me out of this hellhole. We have to accept a violent dictatorship and the invasion of Kuwait because it's their culture. That's appallingly depressing; I think it's the worst thing I've read in a comments section in a long time.

This person describes himself as "well educated and professional", but I have to wonder about that, considering the wealth of spelling and grammar mistakes throughout.

Unfortunatly people regard US people in that malice. Its your government that people hate. They rule by econimic oppression. Who dares to stand up to them. The UN can't who can. So its no wonder 9/11 happened. Unfortunatly it envolved thousands of innocent people.

2
That must be it...Saddam invaded Kuwait in the 90's to take all that water back.
Can the fool who wrote that ignorant drivel read a map?
It bothers me in a distant way that well meaning idiots armed with half-facts are allowed to vote.

3
people can be well educated and professional, yet still not speak English as a first language, you know. English speaking people aren't the only ones who have running water and university.
(the reason I point this out is that given the second piece you provide, he quite obviously is not American. I didn't know they even had computers in other places!)
just sayin'.

Posted by: friend of anon at June 25, 2004 09:09 PM (r+eQ4)

4
Sadam was an ass clown, I think we can all agree on that. If Bush had said, "I think Sadam is an ass clown and I want to bomb his country," maybe I could have respected that. But still, it's the kind of pet project that takes away from more important issues like fighting terrorism.

Posted by: Crake at June 25, 2004 11:09 PM (5gN2v)

5
This person made it clear he is Australian. I assume English is his first language.

Posted by: Sarah at June 26, 2004 01:49 AM (7QSdf)

6
There are plenty of Australians (and Americans, too) who don't speak English as their first language.

Posted by: Kolo at June 26, 2004 02:41 AM (fXYg3)

7
Every dictator wishes for a country full of people just like this guy.

8
Not that I agree with this person, but it seems to me you don't have much more knowledge of Iraqi history than him/her. And that's part of the problem in today's discourse. You can't make a tangentially important point without being called a fool.
What that person (link, Sarah?) meant by 'losing access to water' is losing access to all harbors (to the British) except Basra, making trade over sea increasingly difficult.
Iraq never really accepted Kuwaiti sovereignty and regarded it as China regards Taiwan. The invasion of Kuwait however was an oil field dispute. The Iraqi government complained to OPEC, but its cries were not heeded (who was right in the dispute still remains unclear to me, so if anyone wants to enlighten me, please do) consulted with the US ambassador April Glaspie before invading Kuwait and her response was "We have no opinion on your Arab - Arab conflicts, such as your dispute with Kuwait." (link)
Now, this doesn't really affect the debate on the last invasion, since the first was solidly legitimized by the UN, but please don't question someone's education so quickly if you're knowledge is lacking too.
On the other hand, since I haven't seen the rest of the rant, my opinion on him/her could change.

Hefley said he was particularly concerned about the realignments potential effect on military families, since Pentagon leaders have sketched a scenario in which most families are based in the United States while their sponsors are sent periodically sent overseas for several months at a time for training exercises or missions.

Although extended separations are understandable in wartime, in times of peace, I would be very reluctant to separate military families more than they already are, Hefley said.

Feith said that the administrations plans should actually contribute to a better situation for families than currently exists.

He described instances in which families move with their sponsor overseas, only to have the servicemember deploy to yet another place, leaving his dependents alone in a foreign country.

Why couldn't he have left me at Fort Hood? Bunker could be teaching me to play golf!

1
I just applied for a different position at Hood. I'd prefer it there to being in Corpus Christi!
There will be time for golf lessons and some Shiner Bock on the River Walk when you get back to the land of the big PX.

2
I grew up a a navy kid, and my dad did tons of deployments for six to eight months overseas and we were unable to see him and lived CONUS. I don't see why the army can't do it, for the first time in a long time the Army as a whole is doing deployments and its hard for the families to adjust, I understand, however, why can't they live back stateside?

A couple of years ago, before I started reading blogs, I saw a Dinner for Five where Sarah Silverman and Michael Rapaport were talking about how hard it is to be a Jew in Hollywood. I thought they were insane. I didn't exactly grow up surrounded by Jewish people, but I knew a few and I had never heard anyone say anything bad about Jews. In fact, I thought the Holocaust had pretty much taught us all a lesson.

Boy, was I wrong.

After two years of reading LGF, I know that I was wildly naive. I can't say if Silverman and Rapaport are discriminated against in Hollywood, but I will never again scoff at the plight of Jews in our world.

And these days I'm inclined to stop a moment and wonder if there indeed is a subliminal message in photos like this.

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