Alternatively: The Itinerant Gardener !!

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Zen

Before starting I read a bit of a book called Zen and the Kingdom of Heaven.

I could have written the first few paragraphs! ‘My legs wont do that, I’m too old for this, and my knees are hovering in the air someplace. In despair I set out to get ‘comfy’ Remembering how I used to sit, I boldly tried to get one leg to go on top of the other… yeah right!

OK 30 minutes. In the time it took me to think ‘one’ before I even started to breathe, there it was as clear as daylight in my head. ‘Just get up, what are you doing!’

That thought never really left me as the 30 minutes ticked away painfully slowly. The wall before me was a mass of colour, never before has magnolia looked so vivid!

OOONNNNNNNEEEEEEEE.

Still on one, not quite ready to breathe again, because if you get to two, that means you have not considered anything else during the breath number one, consciously knowing this of course counts against you, so screaming ONE, (silently of course) in your head as you breathe ‘helps’ to eliminate all other thoughts, of course, you should really eliminate the counting eventually….

As the time ran out, I considered my legs, I had tentatively tried to wiggle something once feeling like my feet at some point during the process, but now they were a mass of jelly. Hobbling to my knees and groping for the wall before me I managed to stand up, for a second or two, then went crashing down!

Crawling out of the room I had prepared for Zen I suddenly realised quite how absurd the whole thing was and, laying on my back in the living room descended into a huge fit of laughter.