The beauty of my body is not measured by the size of the clothes it can fit into, but by the stories that it tells. I have a belly and hips that say, "We grew a child in here," and breasts that say, "We nourished life." My hands, with bitten nails and a writer's callus, say, "We create amazing things."

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon. ~Ellen DeGeneres

Friday, January 28, 2011

Wednesday was Math lab, downtown traffic, three cops in my ''bubble'' at discovery green with my two children obviously not in school and erik had boy scouts and a frantic g'ma calling me to go get her grandson scout 11 miles away and get him to scouts on time.

Thursday was court in the morning, civics class, piano in the afternoon, and science after that, got the entire front yard raked last night, leaves and dead grass and then study island and math class connect / achievement series

today is make up day and then at 4 we have scouts community service project for 2 hours and then I think I will ship the kids off to Friday night live at the Cypress Creek Community Center for 4 hours of P.E. and Socialization. also have to have a check ready for venturing girl scout today for mulch for the front yard.

Erik has to be UP and at Scouts Merit Badge Workshop at 6 am (it starts at 7 am but is a 6 mile drive.

we are trying to get Krystal enrolled at SHSU for PreLaw for the fall, financial aid and taxes done by the end of the month.

still no word on the 504.

waiting for my coffee to brew. last time I took time for me? I had me time in November 24th, 3 hours from 6 - 9 pm LOL

no, I never take 'me' time, it is all about my family, it is my downfall. as for the hubby, he is on his own schedule, we did have dinner last night together, that was different. I even cooked, that was really different. giggle

I was feeling productive after cleaning the yard, and whatnot, so cooked a bow tie pasta / marinara / peas and carrot dish with green chilies and mozzarella cheese.

I think our next big project is to put in a fire pit in the back yard, then I could sit out and roast marshmallows for relaxation. oh wait, that would require that I put in about 20 hours to actually PUT IN the pit. hee hee yeah, see, there I go again.

you know, I keep telling myself, I just need to get through just one more hurdle, I just need to get the twins graduated from high school and my job will be done. I just need to get through Krys / Jason's wedding and my job will be done, I just need to get Krys / Jordan through their first year and I can coast. Jasmines first year in college and then Lilly's first year and just through Erik / Magnus cub scouts, and now Erik's boy scouts, and it just never seems to stop, there is always just one more milestone that I need to facilitate, coordinate, navigate, and orchestrate. now it is getting Erik through to Eagle, and Krystal enrolled in pre-law, and erik / magnus through taks, and there never seems to be an end of my worry and stress that I will drop the ball and leave something 1/2 done.

Now we just need to get through Blue and Gold, which means to do volunteer hours to facilitate donations from the store, to pay for the amenities. I remembered to get the track for pinewood derby, but misunderstood that I was responsible for awards as well. I thought the awards was for Blue and Gold, which I am responsible for as well. and I have truly neglected the outdoor hikes, I must get those schedule as well.and we have four months to plan the Arrow of Light ceremony. And I need to complete my Woodbadge ticket this spring. I would take a walk down the nature path, but no car today, scouts this afternoon, the boys are working on earning Friday Night live tonight, scouts tomorrow, and church chili activity tomorrow night that I have not even begun to prepare for yet. so maybe sunday I will have a couple of hours to just commune with nature. highly unlikely though. heehee

I noticed that the Houston Gem and Mineral show is in November, Friday the 11th is good for homeschool kids, Saturday and Sunday is classes for Scouts and Badges, Belt loops, and Pins.

Monday, January 17, 2011

I have an abundant guilt at checking off work that is not completed to my satisfaction.

while I am well aware that there is a 'liberal interpretation' and that you do not have to do everything in every lesson. FOR ME and mine, there comes a point that we can not do ANYTHING in a lesson. If all we did was use the 5 - 7 question assessment as an OPEN BOOK test and have unlimited time to research the internet to find the answer, we STILL do not stay caught up, and yes, we spend up to 12 hours a day struggling through the curriculum.

For instance, in order to GET THROUGH spelling each week, I am happy if he can just get through the spelling test with 100%, http://www.spellingcity.com/view-spelling-list.html?listId=4465749, I check off all the spelling helps for that unit. and move on. it gives him a chance to keep testing the words until he gets / guesses them correctly. I should be doing a better job of teaching him, but I am hoping that spell check will catch his mistakes later. That makes me feel bad because I know that it is wrong.

I send him to http://wordlywise3000.com with his headphones on and he listens to the words and definitions and I trust that the exposure will be enough, because am not really that good at the droning teacher at the front of the class that drags on for hours about crap that I do not care about, and I seriously doubt that my kids want to endure it either. when it comes to knowing this stuff, yes, I know most of it, but I get so overwhelmed when this one is asking about that, and that one is asking about this, they are not doing the same stuff, so I can not combine teaching moments, we have not even really had more than two opportunities to even get to the manipulative. out lives are consumed by moving the % across the dotted line, so we end up skimming the requirements just to keep up, never really getting to the meat of anything because we are paddling so hard to keep our head above water, we never realize that we are swimming at the beach of a Caribbean port, all we can see is the next wave coming in and from this perspective, it looks like a tsunami.

I spent 1 hour driving to the museum yesterday, and 2 hours driving home, 6 hours there and felt guilty that we are not working to get caught up. we took 4 days off for Christmas so that the kids did not completely mutiny. Magnus swears that he is going back to school just as soon as he wakes up early enough to get on the bus.

I must be an ineffectual teacher because it should not be this hard. we should not be putting in 12 - 16 hours a day, and then I still have to go in the last week and check off a bunch of lesson to get up the % goal even though we NEVER wrote that essay or read that passage, or even come close to looking at that art project. I discovered that we sit so long at the computer just trying to catch up that we have put on 10 lbs, the kids included, and we never see the light of day. we do not play with the kids in the neighborhood anymore because we never get close to being done before dark. it is always 5:30 before we stop, and then that only allows 30 minutes of free time before dinner must be served.

magnus: we hate it. because it is boring. takes time out my sleep and free time.