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Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because I'm addicted to apps on my phone. I haven't slept in three days because of my "Fortnite" habit.
The Boss: What about the rest of you losers?
Asok: Shhh. I got a one-ear podcast going here.

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CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department.
Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded.
CEO: How do you put up with these losers?
The Boss: The awards help.

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Boss: I'm promoting Ted for coming up with a genius idea to reduce our software expenses.
Dilbert: That was actually my idea. All Ted did was tell you it was his idea.
Boss: How do you put up with these bitter losers?
Ted: The promotion helps.

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The caption says, "Jury deliberation." Dilbert, Dogbert and the other members of the jury sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I'll be the jury foreman, since the rest of you are losers." Dogbert asks, "Did anybody listen to the boring parts with the evidence?" Dogbert says, "And nobody as a coin?! Geez, what's this system coming to??"

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Alice sits across from Catbert's desk. She says, "I was so good at my job that I never needed to bother my boss, but he gave me a low rating because he didn't see me struggling." Catbert replies, "I must refer to my human resources binders to see how to deal with this." Catbert looks at a bookcase filled with binders. Most of the binders are labeled "Downsize" and a few are labeled "Hire Losers."

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Dogbert Research Co. Dogbert says, "First question: What would you losers do if a small dog with glasses took advantage of you?" A man shakes his fist and says, "We would complain to the... um... whoever handles that sort of thing!" The woman says, "Yeah!" The man shows up at the "Bureau of Dogs." He says to Dogbert, who sits behind a desk earing a turban, "It costs fifty bucks to file a complaint?" Dogbert says, "And ten bucks to borrow a pen."

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- How to reorganize for success
Put All your deadbeats and whiners in one sub group.
Deadbeats: we don't want to be a subgroup.
-Give them a project that duplicates work being done by more competent people elsewhere in the company.-
Soon, the manager of the competent people will find out you're duplicating his work.
Man: You're on my turf
Dogbert: Boo hoo
- He'll make a play to get your project under his control.-
Man: They should be transferred to my control.
- Before you transfer the deadbeats. Give them high performance reviews to conceal your treachery
Deadbeat: Godlike ? wow!
Dogbert: I'll miss you.
- In time, the manager who took your losers will fail, this decreasing competition for promotions.
AAIIII!!
Dogbert: Next week I'll discuss teamwork - the managers obstacle to success.

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The Boss: "Our project is six months behind schedule."
"Meanwhile, our technology has become obsolete and the users' requirements have changed."
"Any suggestions?"
Dilbert: "Let's stubbornly plod along and deliver the useless product that was originally requested."
Wally: "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"
"We should restart every time something changes. That way we'll never be held accountable for results!"
Alice: "You losers can work it out alone. I heard there's a job opening on project Caribou."
The Boss: "Next on the agenda: our weekly team-building excercise."
"