My sister passed away in 2010 and that left only my mom and me. She was competent and able bodied, living alone. My sis took care of her finances at time. She had me to come home two weeks before passing to help care for mom. Her passing was a great shock and she had not prepared me or left any instruction to extent of financial assets. She was in charge of three previous inhertiences that had been left for moms care. When she passed we all of sudden had family coming out of woodwork that had not been a part of our lives for 20 years. They weren't there for the loss of any of the others but thought mom would be vulnerable with sis gone and didn't know I was back in picture. In order to get these vultures to stop harassing and tormenting my mother and taking us to court for custody of her money but not her care we were forced into an irrevocable trust with a bank as trustee. She named me as POA of health and financial decisions in case she should become unable. I was to be her voice with this bank and she made this clear. We were having to take these actions and start fighting these family members before the funeral so it was the day my sis passed that the harassment started. This past oct 2013 my mom took turn for worse mentally and now this bank is not wanting to provide her with funds to cover her basic needs and monthly meds. The trust balance has not faultered in three years even with building a new home as hers burned the year after sis passed. All of sudden they are saying that the monies are not there to Have a care taker or to keep her weekly funding the same and have cut it to amount that no longer covers her weekly needs. Plus I am to do all care 24/7, household and yard care with no funds to keep us both alive. She can no longer be alone at all. She can not feed herself bathe herself and has lost control of bowels and bladder. What can I do?

6 Answers

If you are out of money, you can file for assistance through Medicade/Medi Cal to pay for her medications. What is the trustee telling you? Are all funds exhausted, is she broke? You may have to sell the house or file for assistance.

Pstegman: Question about the POA can have no benefit from the Trust....can't she do a Personal Care Contract and be paid for her services? I ask that for myself as well.

I am in So California and there are some attorneys that you can see for free or a low fee. I think you need to get someone like this to help you. I personally do not understand how they can refuse to give you money to live on and take care of her needs IF SHE HAS ENOUGH MONEY IN THE TRUST. If her account has gone down to zero then I can see it. The other thing I am wondering is does this have to do with her have POA rather than DPOA, someone help me but doesn't a POA lose their ability to work if the person becomes ill where a DPOA doesn't? I do not know how to word it.

Another person one time wrote something about their families trust and how it had stated that a certain amount of money had to be held aside for certain individuals and maybe that is true for taxes or other fees. There is probably a logical explanation but the trustee is failing to be open and honest with you. An attorney could help you wade through it.

It is sad you lost your sister.... then to be thrown into this situation. The depth of greed people have is sickening.... You need to record every expense.. food, utilities, medicine etc.....Keep track of ALL hours you care for your mom.... It is obvious your mother has deteriorated and needs more care, and will need more in the future. You can have this validated by her doctor. Also, is it possible your mom is having some depression from the loss of her daughter? The trustee could be abusing his power. Is the trustee being paid a flat fee or percentage of the trust to maintain the trust. Any communication you do to trustee needs to be done in writing so there is a record of you requesting funds NEEDED for her care. If this trustee is abusing power a judge can overturn that position. You need an Elder law attorney.

I agree with the above answer, find an attorney, go to the bank with the attorney, ask for an itemized statement & compare it with the previous statements your mother received. The bank has an obligation to pay for your mothers care that is why the trust was set up. If the money is truly gone, then you can look for other resources; contact your local Area Agency on Aging or senior center for info & resources. Currently you are her fulltime caregiver, you deserve a break that is why you need some in home help. You are being compensated for your caregiving duties by having a place to live, however you must be careful and keep receipts/documentation for any additional expenses for your mothers care. This will help verify your case of increased needs. good luck,.

I would find a pro bono trust attorney to go with you to the bank who is named as trustee and find out exactly where the money went and how much is left. File for social security benefits for both of you, ask your local food bank for food, get your church involved if you have one, and call your area on aging to get a social worker working on your behalf. There are resources for you, and it also may include contacting a realtor to sell that newly built home and moving into a place you can afford. Leave no stone unturned in order to feed and house yourselves. Good luck.

You need to meet with the trustee and provide hard written evidence of the increase in financial need. Note that as POA you cannot receive these funds personally. The payments would have to go to a care agency, and the care would have to be ordered by an MD. The other option is a written estimate from a nursing home, again ordered by an MD. Since it is her house, I assume you are living there for free. This presents a conflict of interest, since you are the POA and the beneficiary of the living arrangement. A POA cannot have any benefit from the trust. Zero, nothing, not a dime. The trustee is upholding the law, it's nothing personal.

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