Imo feminism discussion on deviantart are lost. If I read another user post how women are never blamed when they're raped, I feel like I'm travelling to another dimension._________________www.cobrasphinx.nl

Tumblr, like Reddit, like anything, is just a medium for all kinds of opinions, which range from awesome to wtf. Personally I use them purely to look up entertainment such as game screenshots and info. I always find it weird whenever someone brushes off an entire medium just because some tidbits are wtf-worthy._________________www.cobrasphinx.nl

I called the police to report these threats, and, in the spirit of slut-shaming, I was immediately barraged with a line of insensitive, doubting questions. These brutal suggestions that people should kick me in the face if they saw me were nothing more than "childish threats," I was told. Then I was asked question after question to poke holes in how any of these threats might be legitimate -- and how I was to blame for the terror I have experienced.

_________________...if a single leaf holds the eye, it will be as if the remaining leaves were not there.http://about.me/omardrake

The way men and women interact on a daily basis is the way they interact when rape occurs. The social dynamics we see at play between men and women are the same social dynamics that cause men to feel rape is okay, and women to feel they have no right to object. And if you accept those social interactions as normal and appropriate in your day to day life, there is absolutely no reason you should be shocked that rape occurs without screaming, without fighting, without bruising, without provocation, and without prosecution. Behavior exists on a continuum. Rape doesn’t inhabit its own little corner of the world, where everything is suddenly all different now. The behavior you accept today is the behavior that becomes rape tomorrow. And you very well might accept it then, too.

The complication is that so often, in Twilight, Swoon, Hush, Hush, Vampire Academy, and countless romances dating back to Pride & Prejuidice and Pamela, we're asked to accept that the outward facade of "I dislike you immensely" masks a subtle underlying attraction. Certainly Pamela has to go to extreme lengths to get her would-be rapist to accept that she does not want to be raped, no, really, no, please no. Darcy is so led astray by Lizzie's attempts to be polite to him in all of their mutual social interactions that he assumes she's welcoming his attentions, when really she would welcome a chance to serve him a restraining order on behalf of everyone she knows. And of course Pamela was an attempt to show the proper way for a young lady to maintain her respectability and the boundaries of politeness while still struggling to maintain her virtue (whereupon she's rewarded by getting to marry her rapist!); while Pride & Prejudice is the model for 200 years of love-hate relationships, and it's generally argued that Lizzy is attracted to Darcy the entire time.

I don't disagree with either of those post per se, especially the book one, but I think they're missing a point. I see this list:

Quote:

Throughout Hush, Hush, Nora is a textbook case of the behavior Fugitivus describes:
If women are raised being told by parents, teachers, media, peers, and all surrounding social strata that:

* it is not okay to set solid and distinct boundaries and reinforce them immediately and dramatically when crossed (“mean bitch”)
* it is not okay to appear distraught or emotional (“crazy bitch”)
* it is not okay to make personal decisions that the adults or other peers in your life do not agree with, and it is not okay to refuse to explain those decisions to others (“stuck-up bitch”)
* it is not okay to refuse to agree with somebody, over and over and over again (“angry bitch”)
* it is not okay to have (or express) conflicted, fluid, or experimental feelings about yourself, your body, your sexuality, your desires, and your needs (“bitch got daddy issues”)
* it is not okay to use your physical strength (if you have it) to set physical boundaries (“dyke bitch”)
* it is not okay to raise your voice (“shrill bitch”)
* it is not okay to completely and utterly shut down somebody who obviously likes you (“mean dyke/frigid bitch”)

If we teach women that there are only certain ways they may acceptably behave, we should not be surprised when they behave in those ways. And we should not be surprised when they behave these ways during attempted or completed rapes.

And I would posit that without the parenthetical descriptors, this is also applicable (with some adjustment on a point or two) to how men are expected to act as well. If I had to sum it up I would say we're effectively taught to behave and interact without employing empathy and we've instead settled for this norm of emotional stuntedness. It's like children using violence to resolve cognitive dissonance: Young girl sees boy, he makes her feel 'weird', so because she has neither the knowledge nor capability to fully realize why she feels the way she does, so she attacks the source of the negative feelings i.e. she hits the boy. Or reverse genders. Or make it two boys (Makes ya wonder why so many bullies use faggot as an epithet . . .), it doesn't matter. As I see it, it's the same root mechanism behinds all kinds of fucked up interpersonal and intrapersonal reactions, like slut shaming for example: This person makes me feel a certain way and I don't like that so it's their fault and they are to blame. And it's made normative by that whole warrior mentality bullshit i.e. best defense is a good offense. I mean, why did Kevin Spacey getting shot in American Beauty seem so real and believable?

It's like there's this forced disconnect between people. It's not person A and B interacting, it's facade A and B.

Also, I have issues with the usage of "daddy issues". I mean, I see what the author is trying to say, but I've always thought of the label of "daddy issues" or "mommy issues" meaning someone who has habitually engaged in unhealthy relationships due to having modeled their outlook on relationships upon shitty parents. I suppose what I really think of are people with "parent issues", which is probably a way more fair and accurate descriptor.

Which, as I'm posting this, lead me to a new idea: Rape households. It's an obvious conclusion given how we model ourselves upon our leaders (A man's home is his castle and all that bs) and perhaps a new lens we should be using to examine ourselves.

Anywho, I'm running out of fuel so I need some food and coffee, I'll comeback to this later this afternoon._________________...if a single leaf holds the eye, it will be as if the remaining leaves were not there.http://about.me/omardrake

The comments are complete garbage, as always when MRAs invade. Sometimes I want to go in there and call most of them 'false MRAs' because they don't give a shit about men's issues, they just want to hate women._________________www.cobrasphinx.nl

What the fuck is with that one dude (and let's face it, we know it's a dude) who is posting really shitty MRA posters? Like, for fuck's sake, someone was attacked for espousing feminist views and you're posting vile shit that is clearly meant to imply that they deserved it because, well, there really isn't a because on those posters, they're vague as hell.

I'm so over people thinking that MRAs and feminists are somehow "equivalent". Like oh, women are pressured to be pretty but men are also pressured to be strong! It all evens out! Have people never heard the phrase "two wrongs don't make a right" before? Not to mention that it's more like ten wrongs to one anyway.

What the fuck is with that one dude (and let's face it, we know it's a dude) who is posting really shitty MRA posters? Like, for fuck's sake, someone was attacked for espousing feminist views and you're posting vile shit that is clearly meant to imply that they deserved it because, well, there really isn't a because on those posters, they're vague as hell.

I'm so over people thinking that MRAs and feminists are somehow "equivalent". Like oh, women are pressured to be pretty but men are also pressured to be strong! It all evens out! Have people never heard the phrase "two wrongs don't make a right" before? Not to mention that it's more like ten wrongs to one anyway.

Because they're assholes hiding under the guise of 'caring for men's issues'. They don't give a flying fuck about prison rape or whatnot. Hell, they'd probably call those guys homophobic slurs. It's ironic how they can't see how their propagandic posters are only hurting their cause. They're so busy trying to hate that they look like idiots._________________www.cobrasphinx.nl