You'd think there isn't much sexy about turkeys and Pilgrims, but you'd be wrong.

Today is the day of giving thanks and the eating of much turkey, so while you’re off with friends and family or just enjoying a day off—or dressing up like a rutting turkey couple and having some sweet gobbling decoy roleplay—take the time to remember what’s important to you.

Everybody has bad sex now and then, but Canadian novelist Annabel Lyon is “deeply honored” for her Bad Sex … award, that is.

The London-based Literary Review has announced her bestseller, The Golden Mean, as the winner of their 2010 Bad Sex in Fiction Award, which singles out those authors brazen enough to depict sex that’s not going so well in their books. (Specifically “redundant or egregious sex scenes in a novel that’s otherwise quite good.”) Lyon was reportedly pleased to be given the award, especially considering that such talents as Phillip Roth and John Updike are past winners—and this is probably the only time anybody’s going to be honored by bad sex, so we’d all better enjoy it while it lasts.

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“Do you want to enlarge your penis with the push of a button?” Well, sorry; you can’t anymore because Apple has pulled the Penis Enlargement Hypnosis app. Hmm, wonder why.

The app proclaimed wondrous penis-growth technology via hypnosis (which, according to the video, mostly involved the app muttering to users in a silky voice: “Your penis continues to grow …”) but soon after the dick-therapy was mocked on the Internet, Apple rushed in and pulled it from the store. Who says Apple’s a puritanical censorship machine? They’re just trying to protect use from hypnotic penis over-growth. Or something.

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The newest in scientific research from University of Newcastle in Australia has determined that people are more attractive to others when they tilt their head (back and forth).

Participants rated computer-generated 3D images of faces tilted at various angles, and after compiling the data researchers found that men were ranked more attractive when their head was tilted backwards, and women were most attractive when their head was tilted forward at an angle. It’s supposed to say something about the evolutionary origin of how we think about male and female gender roles.

Said lead researcher Dr. Darren Burke, “Our research investigated if looking at the face from different perspectives as a result of the height differential between men and women influenced perceived masculinity or femininity.” And then there was something about it relating to men oftentimes being taller than women, but it’s hard to read with your face tilted at this angle. (Ow, neck cramp!)