Joey: [Computer beeps] We've got a touchdown! Laurence: [On radio] We have touchdown! Touchdown! Tornado is on the ground! Haynes: [Hands radio to Beltzer] Listen to this! Laurence: Looks like it's heading down Route 33. Bill: Jo, we're on 33. Jo: What's the path? Laurence: Looks like it's going about 35 mph. Rabbit: [Looking around] Can you see this? Allan Sanders: I can not see this. Where is it? Hello? Which way you guys looking? Bill: Where, where, where... Jo: Direction, Rabbit. Rabbit: North northeast! Beltzer: Do you see it? Haynes: No. Rabbit: North northeast, you copy? Bill: Shit, it's coming right at us! Laurence: Axis has gone vertical, gone vertical. Sucker's really gaining up strength. Jo: You see it? Bill: No... [Takes radio] Bill: Beltzer! We do not have a visual. Repeat, we do not have a visual. Help us out here! Jo: Where is it? Beltzer: Yeah, I got it Billy. Best motion I've ever seen. Looks like the base of this sucker's at least a half mile wide. Bill: Rabbit? Rabbit: If you are going east on 7, it should be coming right over that hill in a matter of minutes! Allan Sanders: This is the one man, I feel it.

Rabbit: In a severe lightning storm, you wanna grab your ankles and stick your butt in the air.

Rabbit: Look, all I'm saying is don't fold the maps. Allan Sanders: I didn't fold the maps. Rabbit: Yeah, well Kansas is a mess, there's a big crease right through Wichita. ROLL the maps.

Dusty: [while watching Jonas on television] Oh God, he sucks. Rabbit: Oh, shut up. Get him off. [Bill turns off the televsion] Jo: [about Jonas] He is so in love with himself. I thought it was just a summer thing.

Melissa: Why do you call Billy "The Extreme?" Dusty: Because Billy *is* "The Extreme." Jason 'Preacher' Rowe: Bill is the most outta control son of a bitch in the game! Bill: [looking at Jo] No, I think I came in second. Dusty: So we get this one near Daleton, right? Rabbit: Oh, God. Jo: You guys have got to get some new stories. I'm gonna go wash up. Dusty: And we are way too close. And Jo's got the vid on it right, she's filming it. And all of the sudden outta nowhere, this shitty lookin' green Valiant comes pulling up right in the way. Beltzer: [points to Bill] And this loser stumbles out of the car, he's got like a bottle of Jack Daniel's in his hand... Dusty: He's naked! Rabbit: He is *butt* naked! Beltzer: Naked! Bill: NOT naked! I was NOT naked! Beltzer: [whispering & laughing in Melissa's ear] He was without apparel. Bill: Half naked. Dusty: Naked. Ok, so Jo's yelling at him to get out of the way, right? [all laugh] Dusty: And he just strolls up to the twister, says 'have a drink', and he chucks the bottle into the twister, and it NEVER hits the ground. Jason 'Preacher' Rowe: The twister caught it, and sucked it right up! Bill: [directing towards Melissa] Honey, this is a tissue of lies. See, there was another Bill, an evil Bill, and I killed him.

Bill: [Rabbit is leading them through a field as a short cut to get ahead of Jonas] This is a field, Rabbit. Rabbit: I know, keep going beyond it, right through that brush. See that brush right in front of you? Bill: Yeah we see the brush, what's beyond that? Rabbit: Beyond what? Jo: Beyond what? Beyond the brush! Bill: The brush, a brick wall, a bearded lady, what? Rabbit: Oh, um... it's the highway, it's the highway. Jo: [the team seems to be heading into nothing but taller brush] Where's the road, Rabbit? Allan Sanders: Yeah where's the road man? Rabbit: It should be any moment. Bill: Watch out! [Without warning, Jo almost slams right into Jonas's van as they reach the highway. The rest of Jo's team also force much of Jonas's caravan off the road] Jason 'Preacher' Rowe: [Sarcastically] Hello! Shit.