Imagine this for a second. Frodo and Sam are back in the Shire after their long journey and are getting wasted. Frodo is missing a finger and in the beat of the moment spills his beer all over Sam. Sam is complitely wasted and frustrated that he still hasn't been able to bang the barmaid and Frodo spilling his beer on him in front of everybody is just too much.

So who do you think would win this battle? "But a small dark figure that none had observed sprang out of the shadows and gave a hoarse shout: 'Baruk Khazâd! Khazâd ai-mênu!' An axe swung and swept back. Two Orcs fell headless. The rest fled."