Man tells houseguest not to burgle anybody, is promptly burgled

by Michael Harthorne

SEATTLE -- A Beacon Hill resident thinks he has a pretty good idea who stole a bunch of his stuff -- including a pound of marijuana and five guns -- since he advised a young houseguest not to burglarize anybody only to be promptly burgled himself, according to the Seattle Police Department.

According to the police report for the incident, the victim had allowed his friend's son to spend the night at his home in the 6300 block of South Eddy Court Monday.

The victim told officers he overheard his friend's son -- heretofore referred to as the suspect -- talking to a friend about plans to burglarize another friend's home.* The victim reportedly told the suspect burglary is wrong and he shouldn't do it.

Around 10 a.m. the next morning, the victim dropped the suspect off somewhere -- possibly the Union Gospel Mission -- on the way to a doctor's appointment. According to the report, the suspect told the victim he was going to play laser tag with friends.

When the victim returned home from his doctor's appointment, he found his house burglarized.

According to the report, a neighbor had seen a man matching the suspect's description hiding in the bushes near the house around 10:30 a.m.

Whoever burglarized the home apparently broke a window with a brick to get inside. According to the report, the burglar took a computer still in its box, a movie projector, a child's piggy bank with several hundred dollars in it, $1,000 in cash, a pound of medical marijuana and five handguns, among other things.

According to the report, the victim didn't bring up the stolen guns or marijuana until an officer pressed him about a loaded magazine and marijuana leaves sitting inside an open drawer.

Four of the stolen guns were antiques -- including a four-shot Derringer -- the victim had nailed to the wall. He told officers he didn't believe they were in working condition.

The victim told officers he believes the suspect is responsible for the burglary because -- among other obvious reasons -- the suspect's brand new Nike Jordans had been left in the house in plain view and not taken by whoever broke in.

*The meaning of the word "friend" appears to have been stretched to its breaking point.