As usual - everyone else's fault (special mention saved for Steward Broad), rather than just accepting that they were a bit shit at Trent Bridge, and a lot shit at Lord's, and that's why it's now very likely that England will retain the ashes at the earliest opportunity.

Whatabout the if we thrash em in the 3rd test we are gonna get **** all in ticket sales for the two final tests theory, otherwise known as lets make it exciting down to the wire for all our fans and internet experts?

theotherjonv » Nice try, but try getting a ticket for the riverside or the oval*. They were sold out even before the boat from Australia docked.
* First 3/4 days at least - having seen how big the discrepancy was between the sides, i doubt many were daft enough to buy day 5 tickets

The only tickets you can get for Sydney in the new year are restricted view or day 5, though I might look again and see if any have been returned.

The only tickets you can get for Sydney in the new year are restricted view or day 5,

You won't get those, I suspect the Aussies will all want them

So... We have to get all of Aus out then bat to bear their score by the end if the day? Or not?

Yes and no...

Option 1) neither side bowls the other out and the match is a draw. As England have already won two matches in the five match series, and if the series is drawn, the holders retain the Ashes, England would retain the Ashes

Option 2) Australia declare or are bowled out, then manage to bowl England out by close of play. Australia win the match and have a sniff of winning the Ashes if they then win at Durham and The Oval

Option 3) Australia declare or are bowled out, then England manage to get more than Australia's lead. England win the match and retain the Ashes.

Basically, to win a match you have to take 20 wickets (or the other team declares, forfeiting however many wickets were left in that innings). If noone's taken 20 wickets in five days, then it's a draw, no matter how on top one of those sides may have been. The reason a captain declares is because he considers his side to have amassed an unassailable lead, and therefore he should be using the time to try to take wickets. This can backfire, as it did against England at Adelaide in 2006, and might just do so to Australia today if we're very lucky. If it did, that would be option 3

Bit of perspective/let's not get overly cocky Zokes surely? From everything I have read this is an awful Aussie side....one of the worst ever....and yet......close match at Trent Bridge if I recall correctly (and we relied on unorthodox tactics to scrape that one), then we put them to the sword and now they are reversing the compliment albeit not quite to the same degree. So world beaters that we are, we are not exactly pounding this feeble team into submission yet. But as "Walker" Prior said (good on him) a win's a win or I don't care how the urn stays in our dressing room as long as that is where it stays (not so good in him, albeit realistic I suppose).

But even for that we will require nerve or rain today. Lets hope its the former.

Bit of perspective/let's not get overly cocky Zokes surely? From everything I have read this is an awful Aussie side....one of the worst ever....and yet......close match at Trent Bridge if I recall correctly (and we relied on unorthodox tactics to scrape that one),

I'm not being cocky. Australia are an awful side by their standards, and at Trent Bridge, England played poorly by our own standards, yet still won. The margin, just so you know, was more than the difference between when Broad should have walked, and when he was finally out, so it had no bearing on the result.

It was, however, somewhat less than it would have been if Trott hadn't wrongly been given out, and Agar's stumping had been upheld whilst he was on six. Oh, and it might not have been there at all if England hadn't had any reviews left when Haddin didn't walk at the end.

I love reading the comments on some of the bogan news sites, never seen so much whinging. Always trying to blame something else for the poor state of their cricket, the sports writers are often nearly as bad.

This comment made me chuckle:
I think the Australian government should apply the same stall tactics when it comes to processing pom visas in Aus,.
Commenter
pomsarecheats
Location
Date and time
August 05, 2013, 10:37AM

Somehow I doubt the poster 'pomsarecheats' is an indigenous australian are they all thick down there?

England will retain the ashes, the bogan pugilists will whinge but at the end of the day you don't win an ashes series by only playing well for 2 days out of 15 and not being able to take 20 wickets in a test.

England will retain the ashes, the bogan pugilists will whinge but at the end of the day you don't win an ashes series by only playing well for 2 days out of 15 and not being able to take 20 wickets in a test.

That may be so, but it's still everyone else's (and in particular, Stewart Broad's) fault

The series so far has been spoiled by DRS and its interpretation. England are certainly the better side but there hasn't so far been the gulf in class that so many people expected. England have bowled ok, batted poorly and have a cautious captain. Australia have batted poorly, bowled ok and have a positive leader. Both sides will be disappointed so far, England more so.

It seems fitting that the weather will probably decide this game and the series. It's likely to show decisiveness that England won't and Australia can't.