The Letter

The Story

Reaching Satchel confronts the Coleslaw Front about their anti-cabbage beliefs, but the Coleslaws have no patience for it and start throwing rocks and yelling "Cabbage Lover! Cabbage Lover!"

Menaced by the barrage of stones, the young pilgrim decides discretion is the better part of valor and uses a smoke bomb to get away.

Pilgrim Clumsy Decoy rushes forward (meaning to open an honest discourse) he trips over the smoking bomb, falls into the talking Sky Cabbages and somehow ends up with a mouthful of delicious sentient vegetable.

Pilgrim Twisting Voice opens his mouth, drawing attention away from Clumsy Decoy and saying "She meant no harm, your immense size just gave her no where else to fall to, you see, normally, she's a rather polite faller, but this time... I mean, you are six-feet-wide..."

Unfortunately, the talking Sky Cabbages take this as an insult, and surround Twisting Voice, the better to berate him for his cultural insensitivity!

By Hazel's request, Pilgrim Strong Lens gets the door of the executive bathroom open and rushes in to rescue George, but the door closes behind him, locking them both inside.

Strong Lens starts to panic - but succeeds in demonstrating how silly it is to be locked in the bathroom (even if you have Gin) and George shows Strong Lens how to unlock the door.

Pilgrim Reaching Satchel overestimated his resistance to smoke and flew way coughing and teary eyed, which is why he didn't see the Ferris Wheel ride before running right into it.

Pilgrim Clumsy Decoy shouts to the cabbages, "You're six-foot-tall, too, so you're just the right size for the rides!"

Seeing Reaching Satchel about to be crushed in the gears of the Ferris Wheel, Twisting Voice shouts out "Stop that ride!" and Hazel Harrington rushes to the controls to shut it down.

Hearing this, the sky cabbages begin pounding at the gates demanding to be let in, and the Coleslaw Front begins pounding on the cabbages telling them to get lost, and it all turns into a massive mob of a thousand thugs, with Twisting Voice caught in the middle!

Pilgrim Strong Lens unsnares Reaching Satchel from the ride, but accidentally unscrews the enormous wheel from its axle, sending it careening down the park with Strong Lens still hooked on to it.

Getting dizzy, bumped and bruised from the massive wheel rolling through the park Strong Lens can't help but yell "Aren't these rides supposed to have safety features?" just as the emergency stop mechanism engages.

Looking around, Reaching Satchel sees a handy maintainance scaffold, and flying up to it, tosses a rope down to Twisting Voice, pulling him to safety.

The scaffolding gives way under the weight of the two Pilgrim causing it to smack into the modified carts which spills Reaching Satchel insidethe cart and the whole things rolls atop the Head Cabbage, trapping the vegeitble's leader and the overreaching Pilgrim inside.

Clumsy Decoy tries to get the mob to listen to her, but her gesticulations accidentally open the gates, sending the massive mob of a thousand thugs pouring into Popsicore Park!

Pilgrim Clumsy Decoy draws the attention of the mob and lures them into the narrow serpentine queues in front of the roller coasters.

The cart is too heavy for three people (well, two people and a cabbage) to lift, so Twisting Voice convinces George and Hazel to help get Reaching Satchel and the Head Cabbage free.

Upon witnessing this act of flagrant vegetarianism and cabbage collaboration, the Coleslaw Front breaks from their orderly queue and threatens to hack up Twisting Voice into their slaw.

Stepping between Twisting Voice and the Coleslaw Front, Strong Lens tells the crowd of the many days in the temple that Twisting Voice spent refusing to work in the kitchen and cursing the endless bowls of cabbage soup served in the mess hall.

Pilgrim Strong Lens stepped on the last load-bearing bit of rubble, sending the last standing ride, The Salad Spinner, collapsing around him.

Reaching Satchel has a handy collapsible pole in his bag, but he knows he'll need help to extricate Strong Lens, so he calls Hazel over to give him a hand.

Reaching Satchel and Hazel use the collapsable pole to lever the wreckage of the salad spinner off of Strong Lens and onto the case of Gin, shattering the remaining bottles and sending George into a rage!

Clumsy Decoy trips on the spilled gin with a particualrly wild flailing disabling the safety device and sends the ferris wheel with Hazel and the pilgrim rolling dangerously back into motion!

Clumsy Decoy calls for help, drawing attention from the cabbages who, in a moment of sympathy, bowl over the wheel, knocking it to one side, and freeing him and Hazel Harrington.

Upon hearing how much Twisting Voice disliked cabbage-based foods at the temple, they now believe he is a cabbage hater and sentence him to an extreme bowling.

Twisting Voice opens his mouth just in time to avoiding the bowling, convincing the Space Cabbages that he always refused to eat cabbage because he loved them too much to ever do something so cruel as to bite into one.

Pilgrim Strong Lens points out to George that the destruction of his case of gin really pales in comparison to the smoking ruin that is left from the pilgrims 'helpful assistance'.

Epilogue: Parades!

The Coleslaw Front, awed and a little terrified by the damage done by the pilgrims' 'assistance', retreat before the pilgrims can try and help them out.

Hazel quits her job, finding a new career raising a garden cabbage patch.

The Cabbages believing Twisting Voice to be a true friend, take his advice that there are better worlds for them, and fly off the planet to find a more perfect home.

George looks back at the last remaining standing thing in Popsico Park, his 'executive bathroom' he picks himself up, grabs a box of candy corn and locks himself back in the bathroom praying that no further 'help' is on the way.

Destiny

Anders
World Destiny: 5
Temple Destiny: 13Temple Destiny Wins: Children preparing for their pilgrimage remember the advice the wise monk Reaching Satchel gives, of the importance of reaching for the stars.

Nolan
World Destiny: 11
Temple Destiny: 10World Destiny Wins: Looking back at all of his smashing success dealing with people Pilgrim Twisting Voice decides to leave the temple and to enter politics.

Shane
World Destiny: 7
Temple Destiny: 7Transcendent Destiny! [1]: Marketing Lens begins a new life - building a new temple on the site of the Popsico Park combining not only the austere life of temple but incorporating dangerous rides, fattening foods and well appointed bathrooms.

Daniel
World Destiny: 8
Temple Destiny: 10Temple Destiny Wins: Clumsy Decoy finds life in the worlds far too dangerous for someone so clumsy, instead spends the rest of her life making sure all pilgrims wear suitable padding, too.

Marc
World Destiny: 4
Temple Destiny: 3World Destiny Wins: Pilgrim Friendly Card listened to the stories told by the
whalers after they joined the Temple, and decided that he would rather be helping people by going out and sailing the skies, instead of waiting for letters to arrive.

Notes

[1] Holy cow! This is an extremely rare occurrence. I can't recall if Shane made an explicit effort to keep his stones perfectly balanced, but kudos regardless.

[2] So it turned out that Marc could only make it to the first episode. Based on his Destiny Points at the end of that ep, he came up with the destiny you see above. The whalers he's referring to are from the first episode of the pilgrimage. The protocol for a player leaving a Pilgrimage early is to assume their character found their destiny sooner than her peers. In Marc's case, it only took a visit to one world for Pilgrim Friendly Card to figure out what he wanted to do for the rest of his life.