Must Read: Why A Guy Should NEVER Completely Trust A Lady-My Personal Experience

I will call her Adaeze. We got chatting over whatsapp early August last year after her brother, who is my online friend gave me her number. By the following month and against my better judgment, I was in a relationship with a girl in PH while I was(still is) at Ilorin. I wasn’t going to take her serious because of the insane distance especially considering the fact that we’re both students, I just wanted to have an experience of puppy love too ’cause I don’t do love. Just FWB.

She fell in love with me ’cause of my humour and intellect and I fell in love with her(much later than she did) because of her seemingly unblemished sweetness and innocence.

I fell in love more and more. Up to the point that I started cutting off some of my real life biitches cause I wanted to get something as close to faithfulness to her as possible.

We had only one problem: Adaeze behaves like a child; with all that entails, of course. She would get embarrassed and quickly try to change topics whenever I try to get us talking about any sex-related activity. She seemed to so totally abhor any notion of sex that I complained to a friend. Naturally, I assumed she’s a virgin. She led me on. I’d made many mention to her virginity when talking about something else and she’d always seemed cool.

My love for her got raised to the power of a gazillion when she told me we had to see this September to celebrate our year of being in a relationship. Being the man, I ordinarily should set the precedence by visiting her first what with these news of cyber sexual predators and what not but when I made her realise that my coming over would be very impractical, she decided she’d be coming instead!

To come see a guy she’d never met before. A guy with whom she’s shared at best, a kiss emoji with! I was impressed. She was always the one who calls the more often and shii but mehn, this was the real deal. My affection for her danced dangerously around the threshold of reverence.

Meanwhile, I’d noticed that lately, in the past 2-3 weeks, actually, she’s actually said she’s Hot on more than 2 occasions and she seemed generally receptive of my romantic/sexual innuendos. I just hung it on maturity. She wasn’t going to be so puritanical forever, I rationalised. I was nonetheless happy with this new development; the last knot had been unraveled. And just in time for her visit too. Given the tone of our recent chats, that we’d hit sheets seem a given.

In spite of my disinterest in virgins and my motto that only hypocrites look for virgins to marry(and yeah, I’d already visualised marriage with her…I’d actually couldn’t wait to marry her even though I’d always wanted to marry late) while they themselves enjoy a liberal sexual life.

Enough of the irrelevancies sha.

I went a-strolling yesterday and of course, I wass chatting to my princess. We were chatting about something and just to make it official, I asked if she was a virgin. She remarked that I’d never asked her this question before and that why was I asking now. I told her I just assumed it’s a given and that I just wanted to be sure. She said I should wait and find out when she finally comes to visit. I was puzzled but hey, this is Adaeze, right? She couldn’t be any more than a blushing maiden, yes?

Later in the evening, my cousins who came to visit(I stay in lag but school at Ilorin) were making light jest of me; that but for the fact that I get laid and I got game, they’d have seriously quarreled me over Adaeze. That how could I be in an online shii? I just laughed it off. They said maybe she’s rich that’s why she’d come over to Ilorin. I told them her parents are cops(they thought it was one). They had a field day snickering and taunting me. When they realised that both of her parents are actually cops and that she stays in a barrack, they almost ganged up on me. They assured me that when she comes, I was gon’ call them I swam in a sea(meaning she a hoe cause she too wide). I laughed it off.

But there was something oddly disquieting about their sureness.

That night, last night. I asked Adaeze for a heart to heart. I asked her to tell me the truth if she was a virgin or not.

My brothers and sisters, she dropped the first bombshell o. She isn’t! I was petrified!

How?!! I knew she’d told me she’d dated twice before me: the first time when she was 15 and then, when she was 17.

I asked her who she lost it to and she said the second person. I started picking holes, inconsistencies in her narrative. This was when, my brothers and sisters, I took delivery of the second bombshell: this time, it came in the form of a Voice-note. She was sobbing and telling me about how she had a family friend who used to come around often back then. How he made love to her(as if it was a unilateral decision) when no one was around. How she called it off and threatened to expose him to her mom when she realised what she was doing was wrong but that she knew deep down that she wouldn’t tell on him afterall. Cause she was as guilty. How she was oh-so-sorry for lying to me and why she had to come clean when she realised that she couldn’t live with lying to me.

I went cold.

I went numb.

I asked her who else and she said no one else. I coerced and coaxed her to reveal more and she said there was one more guy she had while she was still with her 2nd boyfriend.

Mehn, I was blown off.

Na Adaeze dey reel off body count so?

I was(still am) heartbroken, to put it mildly.

I gave her the necessary assurances that I wouldn’t leave her for what’s already done and that I just need her loyalty from now onwards.

What never ceases to amaze me is how she got away with these secrets for so long. I mean, one of my greatest gifts is that of my perception. I am next to clairvoyant. How the heck did I miss this whaler?