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Sunday, September 11, 2011

When I am "typing" outloud

Blogs are funny.....some people use them more as an educational tool....some use them more as a journal....some are a pictorial of your life.

Mine is definitely more journal-esque. Although I guess there is an element of education (as in....don't do what I did!!!). If I go and re-read older posts, I can totally feel what mood I was in that day. Down in the dumps? Energetic? Pensive?

Yesterday I was down in the dumps and suffering from a serious case of the wants. It doesn't mean I am actually going to ACT on the feeling.....just getting it on "paper" (screen?).

I am not going to go out and buy new furniture. My conscience wouldn't let me do it. Trust me. I have done this dance many many MANY times. I want it....I look at it on line....I think about it....but obviously I haven't done it.

This doesn't mean I won't visit it again, and again. I will. If you don't like that....don't read that post.

Part of my honesty is that we have a situation that largely is out of our control. I have been told to cut more out....that we are indulgent.....quit complaining and just do something about it. Well.....we are trying.

Maybe you don't think so....I am ok with that.

I will never be able to nail down an "out of debt" date. Our budget as it is right now....we are paying the minimums on just about everything. This isn't about slowing down our debt repayment...it is about the total lack of money to just exist.

I ask you....if your mortgage went up...and over 1/3 of it was just for taxes, and your student loans, and your car broke down constantly....if your husband had an affair, and you had a child with Autism....if you paid 3x more for heat than you did for electricity.....if you worked, and volunteered, and ran your kids all over the place on your own, while your husband worked 60 hrs a week, including nights and weekends....

1) Would you get down about your situation sometimes, and
2) Could you do it any better?

I need to work through alot of things right now....and my blog will be part of that. I am wonderful on paper....execution of things is more tenuous. But I am trying. I get up everyday and know exactly what my situation is....I am not in denial. But sometimes waking up to MY situation....is just a little overwhelming, and I need a release.

13 comments:

It is hard to make progress when everything seems to work against you. Sometimes you just have to keep plodding along and hope things get better in the future. Treading water is better than sinking deeper.

As for the furniture, you might try look for stuff on your local freecycle lists. It isn't ever "great" stuff but, based on what you've said about your current furniture, it's probably going to be a big improvement. And there is something to say about a change, even a lateral one, making things seems a litter brighter.

Cut yourself some slack. As someone who works in a group home with Autistic adults, I cannot imagine living with it 24/7. I get to leave at the end of my shift, you don't get a break.

There are mean judgemental people in this world. Having a blog means you get to hear from these people. You are accountable for you and your children. Keep on trying. The light might be dim, but there is an end to the tunnel.

Mysti--Get Rich Slowly has a fantastic post entitled "Reader Story: Lay-Off Resistant Family Finances" which you might find both educational and inspiring. Getting out of debt is like any other huge lifestyle change--it takes careful thought and planning and enormous personal discipline--and you can do it! Remember there are a lot of households with out of work adults right now who would love to be able to fret about a spouse who works 60 hours per week. You have two beautiful children (I know this from the photo you posted!)--would it help you to feel like you were more on top of things if you cut back on the volunteering for a while? As a mom with many children I can personally attest to the advantages of slowing down and doing less sometimes. Your blog entries give the impression that you are an intelligent and thoughtful woman--persevere and you will get to where you want to be.

I'm sorry, you'll make it through this and things will get better. You'll get closer to your debt paydown and also things will start to flow more smoothly in your life.

And like others have said, maybe try taking a looksy at Craigslist or something for the furniture. There's usually cute stuff from ikea, Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel and etc on my Craigslist for super cheap. I look all the time but haven't bought anything in awhile. I'm like you, I want new furniture also, but I just caaaan't do it.

Know that there are alot of us out here cheering for you and praying. I know you will make it, so what if it takes longer than you thought. You have had a rough year yet you keep getting up and doing everything. EVERY DAY. My grandmother always said" fall down seven get up eight" and you do it. You get up every time.

And I feel the same way. If you dont like what I write well then find another blog! I happen to love your blog

Hang in there... I love reading your posts, and knowing that I'm not alone in my "financial" straits... Tho that probably doesn't help you. We all know what we should and shouldn't do,but that doesn't mean quit dreaming! Keep sharing with us!

I thought your post was fine, and I took it for what it was, a down in the dumps, I wish I could post. That's fine, one day hopefully you will be done with this. And although I rarely comment I've been following and you've had a pretty tough year, cut yourself some slack and keep going. I'm cheering for you !

Venting is cathartic. And healthy. Sometimes just getting the "I wants" out of our system by saying it out loud helps us get past the urge that accompany the "I wants". I definitely knew you were venting. (And just for the record, I WANT a more pup proof leather couch, I look at every furniture store ad that comes my way. I absolutely drool over them --- but alas, it is not to be ---- so I clean my couch again --- and save up for a slipcover for Thing 2s "favorite" chair.)

I hate it when I get behind on reading your blog. I wish I coul dhave been the very first poster on this post and the one before it. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR FEELINGS. They're normal. They're rational. There are a lot of perfect pollyanna-types around - good on them. Like you said, they don't have to read. You don't have to read their comments, either! :-) You do you. XOXOXO.