How to Make America Safe: by a foul mouthed conservative who is inexplicably unaware that we are already at war with Iraq

On this, the five year anniversary of 9/11, I, like many others, find myself thinking not only about the tragic losses of that tragic day, but about how we can best prevent future tragedies. Unfortunately, the means we should employ to prevent such future tragedies has become a point of much contention across our great land. There are however, some things we, as Americans, can all agree on.

Mothers need to know that their children are safe when they send them off to school in the morning. They need to know that their husbands will return safely from work in the evening. They need to know that their children's innocence won't be corrupted by liberal teachers and homosexuals. They need to once again take comfort in the knowledge that their children will live and thrive in the glorious ideal of the American way of life.

There is only one way to provide this security- declaring war on Iraq. I said it; I think we should go to war with Iraq.

One would have to be completely ignorant to foreign affairs and the unstable situation in the Middle East to dismiss the threat the Arabs pose to our God-given freedom. You would have to be equally ignorant to suggest that there is any other way to squash this threat. Iraq is at the epicenter of the terrorist hotbed. The only way to stabilize the area and neutralize the threat is to overthrow Bin-Laden and Saddam Hussein. Their evil dictatorship and brainwashing of the savage, God-less Iraqi people must end. We need to grab terrorism by its balls and bomb the shit out of it. We need to shit down the throat of terrorism until it relents and becomes American.

The terrorists are gunning for us; there is no doubt about that. They hate us for our freedom, our Christian god, and our straight, white teeth. The Iraqi won't stop until they destroy America and Christianity. The only way to stop them is an invasion of the Iraqi gooks.

If we don't act now where will the senseless violence stop? When all of our buildings are knocked down from airplanes flying into them and all of our airplanes are destroyed from having crashed into buildings? Will we wait until we have no more buildings or airplanes because they are destroyed from crashing into one another? How can a country function without airplanes and buildings? We cannot ignore this threat any longer.

We need to invade Iraq now and put an end to Bin-Laden's reign of terror

Some critics charge that an invasion of Iraq would be pre-emptive. The reality is, an invasion would hardly be pre-emptive; we would simply be hitting them before they hit us- possibly with another airplane, maybe even a tank airplane. What would the liberals have to say after our cities are reduced to rubble by a tank-airplane? It would be devastating. Imagine the damage that would have been done to New York had the terrorists flown in on tank-airplanes rather than regular ones. We need to turn the tank-airplanes on them before they do the same to us.

Rather than pick up a remote control, or a bottle of abortion pills, we need to pick up arms, and use those arms to shoot people who are Iraqi. We cannot burden the younger generations with an unstable middle east, we must go over there and restore order; overthrow the leaders and butt-fuck the hate out of the Arabs.

We need to stop putting American lives at risk for absolutely no reason whatsoever. War makes heroes out of young men, and in this dangerous time heroes are exactly what we need.