Remember that scene from Total Recall?

This is what I’m in for next Wednesday – and couldn’t be looking forward to it more.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrjaoACggdk

Nasal splints are made of silicon and are stuffed into the nostrils after rhinoplasty or septoplasty in order to stabilize the septum for healing and to prevent adhesion of the healing wounds inside the nose. They’re totally necessary, but they’re also absurdly huge. Right now I can feel them both, crammed far enough up my nose that they might be touching my brain. On Wednesday I have an appointment to have them removed, but in the meantime there are a host of YouTube users who have had the courtesy of uploading their own splint removal – and boy, is it something.

On the good side, the procedure doesn’t seem especially painful. Opinions vary, with some people seeming to actually enjoy it and others saying it hurts just a little. Everyone agrees that it’s a bizarre feeling, like having your brain pulled out in preparation for mummification. That, and they all agree that it’s a tremendous relief, and breathing afterward is pure pleasure. I’m really looking forward to it.

In case you enjoyed that first one, after the jump I’m embedding a few more YouTubers having their splints removed. If you’re really getting off on this, a search on YouTube will turn up dozens more.

Chris is an author, artist, personal trainer, and long-time nonprofit fundraiser. His work has appeared in The Nib, GOOD, the Huffington Post, Salon, MTV, and numerous other publications. Chris lives in New York City.

Travel and Photography

Christopher Keelty is a writer, artist, personal trainer and nonprofit fundraiser based in New York City. Cartoons and writing have appeared at The Nib, Fusion, Salon, the Huffington Post, MTV.com, among other sites and publications.
For personal training information, visit rewritefitness.com.