Someone had to go first, so why not Texas oilman (natch) Rolly Sledge, who’s running for Human Game Commissioner (OK, Railroad Commissioner) in the Lone Star State? In an effort to promote a candidacy with zero national importance, Sledge has followed trail blazers like Frankenstein’s coroner and the painfully bad Old Spice impersonator to make the first political ad of the year designed with the sole purpose of suckering dopes like me into writing about. He succeeded and victory is now all but assured. It worked for Dale Peterson, right*?