I was informed that the first volume of my choices for Worst Colors was a top-ranked post at Apartment Therapy for a long time. And, while we may call this snark, it is helpful, too, to learn from other’s mistakes. In that spirit, here are some of mine…

Without going into the details, I was developing a project of specialty finishes to please a large number of people. We had a lovely set of options in delicate taupe-y grays, but I was to produce one more round of sample boards in more colorful colorways, just to make sure we’d exhausted our options. Enter, the uglies.

What we were attempting to produce were basic common area neutrals: sepia, khaki and periwinkle blue. What I ended up with instead was the worst caricature of the suburban 70s — burnt pumpkin, harvest gold, avocado green and little girl’s room purple. I couldn’t believe my eyes, and I didn’t even finish the last board, I felt like I was in a sketch comedy.

I’m loath to quote names as these were transparent glazes, and the magic or lack thereof in the process — the sum can’t simply be reduced to it’s parts. For illustrational purposes, I’ve made a few Photoshop simulations from my studies, shown above. Enter at your own risk.

Also, as this publishes: the restaurant across the street from me is undergoing a gut renovation. The exterior is painted that dreadful marshmallow peanut color, another one of what I consider the worst. I see that that they’re testing new colors on the wall, I do wish I could chime in.