Friday, May 8, 2015

I am 32 today. Happy birthday to me! I told my husband that I don't want anything for my birthday and I wasn't lying. The only thing I want is for him to take the kids and let me sleep in one day on a weekend. That would be the best gift ever :-) But I had some fun on Polyvore and found some things that I liked/wanted.

I saw this electric blue Kate Spade bag at the store last week and I wanted to hug it and bring it home with me. It's so prettyyyyy!

I love the rain, but I would love it even more with that Kate Spade clear umbrella.

I need new glasses! I've had the same Juicy Couture glasses for almost four years now. I love them but I need a new look.

I need a facial like nobody's business (and maybe some botox)! I am tired and I need something to make me not look so tired LOL

This cute little make up bag made me laugh so now I need it.

This dress is ridiculously expensive but it would look sooooo good right?

I am obsessed with hats, especially ones that I can wear in the summer. You can never have too many hats!

I suck at washing my face every night. It is my worst bad habit. This Clarisonic face cleanser would make life easier for me...maybe.

I love watches. I wear one to work every day. These Kate Spade watches are lovely, but I couldn't decide between silver or gold.

I need new jeans and Seven jeans are my favorite.

Creme De La Mer...enough said.

My best friend got this Louis Vuitton Damier cross body bag in Vegas over a year ago and I regret not copying her. It is the perfect cross body bag!

I have black Christian Louboutin pumps and I love them! I need nude ones now.

I have been tagged by at least 5 people on Instagram to let me know that this is the phone case I need. I think they might know I love wine :-)

I love to travel and I love Louis Vuitton so that means I need Louis Vuitton luggage.

I know it's not boot season anymore but I want these Sergio Rossi boots!

I wear black flats almost every day to work. These Yves Saint Laurent flats are amazing.

I guess I can cross off these macarons from my list because my extremely generous and thoughtful friend Karina got me the most delicious macarons from Bottega Louis yesterday and if I eat any more macarons I will be morbidly obese soon.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Hi everyone! I went to my first Los Angeles Dodgers opening day game a few weeks ago and it was soooo much fun! I have never been to opening day and I have never tailgated. Not even when I lived in Colorado (totally regret that). I wanted to make something yummy for tailgating and I found a Chex mix recipe, but in the crock pot! I looove using my crock pot. It was a big hit too. I had some leftover and I could not stop eating it every single night in front of the TV. So good and incredibly easy to make!

RECIPE:

9 cups Chex cereal (I used equal parts rice and wheat Chex)

2 cups pretzels

1 cup Cheerios

1 cup peanuts

1/3 cup butter, melted and hot

1 tablespoon seasoned salt

1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce

1 teaspoon garlic powder (optional)

1 teaspoon Lawry's seasoning (optional)

DIRECTIONS:

Add cereal, pretzels, cheerios and peanuts to the bowl of a
slow cooker.

In a separate bowl, whisk together butter and seasoned salt
until the salt is dissolved. Stir in the
Worcestershire sauce until combined.

Drizzle the sauce evenly over the top of the cereal
mixture. Toss for about 1 minute, or
until the mixture is evenly combined.

Cover and slow cook on low for 3 hours, stirring at the 1 hour, 2 hour and 2.5 hour
marks so that the mixture does not burn.
Then spread the mixture out onto a few baking sheets or parchment paper
in an even layer until it cools to room temperature. Serve, or store in a sealed container for up
to 3 weeks.

*If your slow cooker does not have a tiny hole
in it to let air escape, it may collect too much condensation which could make
the Chex Mix get too soggy. If that is
the case, I recommend placing a towel underneath the lid of the slow cooker to
collect the condensation.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

We go to Disneyland...A LOT!!! I currently wear my daughter's Minnie Mouse backpack, but I think it's cramping my style haha I've been looking for a new backpack to stick all our cra...stuff in it. Of course I think the backpacks in the top row are cute buuuuut the bottom row OMG the bottom row. I am especially fond of #5. Which one is your favorite?

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Sometimes life comes to a screeching halt when you least expect it. My son, Sean Patrick Saavedra was born dead on April 15, 2009 after 38 weeks and 3 days of a perfect pregnancy.

It had been a normal day. I had gone to work, I went home and made dinner. My husband and I had dinner together and after dinner we sat down to watch TV. After a few minutes of relaxing, he turned to me and asked me "How's he doing?" (referring to the baby). I replied that he was fine like I always did, but my heart sank immediately after. I suddenly realized that I had not felt him move all day. For the life of me I could not remember the last time I felt him move. (I still can't.) I drank some juice and laid down to see if he would move. He wouldn't move. I finally told my husband that I was scared because the baby wasn't moving. We decided to call the doctor. She told me to drink more juice and wait an hour to see if he moves. He didn't move. We called her again and she told us to come in to the Emergency Room so they could hear the heartbeat. She said that the baby had probably run out of room to move around so much, but they just wanted to be safe. We grabbed our hospital bag and got in the car. It was the longest drive of my life. I tried so hard to not cry and keep it together. Once we were at the hospital, they took us to a room to listen to the heartbeat. A nurse tried for about 15 minutes (it actually felt like an hour!) and was not able to find a heartbeat. She then called a doctor to do an ultrasound to try and get a better look. She did an ultrasound and within minutes we heard the words "There is no heartbeat. I am sorry to say that your baby has passed." My husband and I could not believe what we were hearing.

The next moments were a blur. It was like everything was happening so fast but also in slow motion. It was surreal. We were taken to a delivery room and were told that they were going to induce me. I asked to have a c-section because I did not want to go through labor. They said they could not do that because there was more chance of getting an infection and it was not necessary. The thought of delivering my baby who had already died terrified me! How was I going to get through this? Delivering a stillborn baby is an incredibly emotional experience. I am so lucky to have had my husband, my parents, my mothers-in-law, my best friend, an amazing doctor and the most caring nurses with me.

After 16 hours of labor, I delivered my first son, Sean Patrick Saavedra. There was silence. No crying. Nothing. I didn't see him right away. I couldn't. I was in shock. I was scared. How was he going to look? We did not know how long he had been dead since the last time we heard his heartbeat was 5 days before. He was perfect! He had dark hair (lots of it), a perfect little nose and mouth, and he looked like he was sleeping. One of the nurses asked me if I had held him yet. I let her know that I hadn't because I was scared. She advised me to hold him, look at him, and spend time with him. This was the best advice that she could have given me. I would have regretted not holding him so much! I have since heard many stories where doctors tell mothers not to hold their babies or even see them because it will make the experience more difficult and they regret it so much. Holding him was bittersweet of course. I finally had my baby boy in my arms, but he wasn't actually with me. I have never cried so much. I think I got to hold him three separate times. The last time was the hardest. This was the last time I was ever going to get to hold him. After this, he was going to be taken to the funeral home. The thought of my baby boy being delivered to a funeral home drove me insane. I held him for so long and just kept thinking "How am I going to be able to call the nurse to take him? I don't want her to take him. He is mine. I want to take him home with me where he belongs!" My husband held him last. He walked up and down the hall with him and talked to him. He was the one to finally call the nurse and tell her that we were ready to give him back when we actually weren't.

Leaving the hospital was extremely difficult. They wheeled me out to the car and all I kept thinking was that I was leaving an empty handed. My arms felt heavy. If it hadn't been for the nurse with the smelly onion breath speaking so close to my face and annoying me, I would have cried the whole way. It was horrible. All I wanted to do was go home and sleep forever.

Why would this happen to us? What did we do to deserve this? After delivering Sean, the doctors found blood clots in my placenta. They did blood tests on me and found that I have a genetic blood clotting disorder. It is not 100% certain, but the doctor believed that blood clots formed in my placenta and prevented oxygen from getting to my baby. There was no way to have known this without running those blood tests and those tests aren't normally done on someone unless this happens to them. In other words, there is nothing that I could have done to prevent Sean from dying. That gave me a huge relief. I blamed myself for everything. I thought what if I had paid more attention to his movements? What if I slept on my stomach and hurt him? What if I slept on my back and stopped him from breathing? It still kills me to think that he was in my stomach and was not able to breathe. Was he in pain? Did he suffer? I will probably never know. I was however able to take extra precautions in my next pregnancies to prevent blood clots and my daughter will also know to get tested to see if she has this genetic mutation as well if she ever decides to get pregnant.

They say something like this can truly break a marriage. I am happy to say that losing our first child didn't break us. It made us stronger than ever. My husband was there for me in everything I needed even though he was grieving as well. He has been and still is my rock. We now have a son and daughter that bring us so much happiness. They are our rainbows. The sunshine at the end of the storm. They are our rainbows. The sunshine at the end of the storm.There are stories where doctors tell mothers not to hold their babies or even see them because it will make the experience more difficult and they regret it so much. Holding him was bittersweet of course. I finally had my baby boy in my arms, but he wasn't actually with me. I have never cried so much. I think I got to hold him three separate times. The last time was the hardest. This was the last time I was ever going to get to hold him. After this, he was going to be taken to the funeral home. The thought of my baby boy being delivered to a funeral home drove me insane. I held him for so long and just kept thinking "How am I going to be able to call the nurse to take him? I don't want her to take him. He is mine. I want to take him home with me where he belongs!" My husband held him last. He walked up and down the hall with him and talked to him. He was the one to finally call the nurse and tell her that we were ready to give him back when we actually weren't.

6 years later the grieving has definitely gotten better, but there are days that it feels like a ton of bricks have landed on my chest and I just can't breathe. It is still a one day at a time process and I think it will always be that way. I will never forget Sean and I don't want anyone else too. It is my job as his mother to make sure that no one ever forgets he existed. As long as I'm living, my baby he will be.

Happy 6th birthday Sean. I miss you and I can't wait to hold you again.

Friday, March 27, 2015

I finally had my Vision Board party and it was so much fun! Twelve lovely ladies showed up and we had an amazing time. The party was stocked with magazines, scissors, glue, poster/cork boards and most importantly...SANGRIA! It was amazing sharing our life goals and dreams.

I went with a bit of a Kate Spade theme. Who has more positive quotes on their brand than Kate Spade?

My fellow blogger and friend Vardouhi (aka Figs On Top) made these delicious lemon raspberry cupcakes. She has the most amazing recipes!

I had an amazing Sangria set up. My best friend made the sangria...I really need to ask her for that recipe. How amazing are these mason jars with chalk labels I found at Ross? I used regular chalk to write all the girls' names, but next time I need to use a chalk pen because as we served the sangria into the jars I kept erasing the names.

Here are all the ladies working on their vision boards.

All the boards came out great. Take a look at some of the finished products!

And this is mine!

Last but not least, this was my outfit for the party.

I hope all the ladies had an amazing time because I know I did! We did promise that we would make this an annual event so that we can see all the things we have accomplished from our vision boards. So I can't wait until next year!

Thursday, March 12, 2015

My little sister is turning 21 and we are taking her to Vegas. I am being forced to go to a night club which I NEVER do anymore. Not because I'm too old, tired, exhausted, fat...nope, nothing like that ;-) I want to look cute but also comfortable so I think this is the perfect outfit. Not to slutty, not too grandma'ish. Now I am just wondering how I will be able to take the jumpsuit off to pee after drinking too much champagne because it is Vegas after all!

About Me

Hello lovelies! My name is Yolanda (Yoly). I am a wife, mom of two toddlers that are 16 months apart, and a baby angel who was stillborn when I was 38 weeks pregnant. I work full time as an administrative assistant and I love my job. I also love fashion, home decor, DIY, party planning and Pinterest. Welcome to my little corner that is full of all the things I do when I get bored.