Michel(l)e, how could you abandon us bloggers?

Somehow, I’m going to miss Michele Bachmann. It has taken me so long to remember whether she spelled her name with one “l” or two, as in Obama and Pfeiffer. (I didn’t always succeed in print!)

For the lifespan of my Grumpy Abe and Plunderbund posts , she provided bizarre “content” when everything else seemed to be on the serious side while Sarah Palin, Louie Gohmert and Rand Paul were taking the day off. You may recall that it was Gohmert, the wacko Republican representative from Texas who advanced the notion that immigrant women bear children on American soil so that the kids will grow up to become terrorists. (If you don’t recall it, you’ve lost nothing, folks.)

You could always count on the Flat-Earth Goddess of the Tea Party in the U.S. House to say something scarily entertaining even though it didn’t make sense. But. alas, she announced during a tour of Russia – see how comedic this can be? – that she will not seek another term from a Minnesota district in 2014.

You would have thought that Queen Elizabeth had abdicated and moved to Ireland. The Bachmann news reverberated across Big Media, if not shopping malls, baseball games and garden clubs.

Still it’s hard to imagine a planet without Michele’s wisdom, the preferred sweet-sounding voice of the Flintstones. The immediate buzz was that she will be offered a fat contract by Fox News to continue her unofficial labors for much that is wrong about political life in America.

In a melancholy mood, I offer a few Bachmannisms as a going-away cache from the Micel(l)e archives.:

She accused President Obama of spending $200 million on a trip to India.During her overreaching presidential campaign, she promised the electorate that as president she would let Americans choose their own light bulbs.

She insisted that an aide to Hillary Clinton was “affiliated” with the Muslim Brotherhood.She thought it was an “interesting coincidence” that swine flu outbreaks in the 1970s and again in 2009 occurred during Democratic presidencies.

Michel(l)e, how could you leave us bloggers when you have so much to offer on those days when we have nothing more to think about but the hapless Ohio legislature?