Friday, March 12, 2010

from the beginning of time

Two years ago, Nathan and I did something we never would have even imagined ourselves doing at the ages of 25 and 27. We sure hadn't seen it coming, but it was also something that we knew was exactly what God wanted us doing. We felt the kind of sureness that comes seldom in life; I guess it was assurance that even though we were making a move that was opening us up to a very unknown future, God was going to do something incredible.

With that in mind, and hearts handed over to God for His protection, we delivered our adoption paperwork to our agency. Then we settled in to wait and pray. Even then, we knew there were interviews to complete and a home study to be done, so a baby wasn't a possibility quite yet. That moment came a month later, in April, when we opened up a letter, very short but very full. We were approved by our agency to become a prospective adoptive couple.

I can remember being thrilled from my toes to my hair as I considered the baby that God was going to bring into our home. Yes, there were many scary possibilities, many things unknown, many opportunities along the way to get hurt, but none of that could keep back the excitement that I felt.

But even then, how could I have imagined this?

When I take it all in, it almost knocks me over. There isn't even imagining life without Adrienne.

She is the third baby God had for me from the beginning of time, of that I am convinced.

God knows everything and always has. That means that He knew about Poppy, He knew how she would come into our lives and change everything, He knew how she would touch us, and He knew how He would call here home.

He knew that on this earth, the sister Marianna would be holding onto and kissing and pestering and loving, would not be the one born 2 years after she was. It would be the one born 2 1/2 years after her. That's the kind of plan God makes for our lives. The kind that can not be conceived with human logic and reasoning skills. But this is the plan He had for me, and its beauty takes my breath away.

Wow..I have followed your blog for a little while now - each time reading your gentle words I have been deeply moved. This post is no different - I am 'walking away' in awe! Your daughters are so beautiful. We too, lost a daughter. She was 5 months and 3 days old when God called her back home - in May she would be turning 3 years old. It's strange the way time takes on a whole new meaning after losing someone so very important. On one hand times crawls by - simply because we desperately want to be reunited with our dear children - on the other hand it shoots by as we watch our other children grow and mature.

You have a beautiful family and a beautiful heart for God. My hubby and I have dreamt of adopting a child - long before we had even had our first daughter. I know God lead us in the right direction at the perfect time, and I can imagine myself having these same feelings that you are having -- looking at the precious child before you, knowing that God had it all planned out for His perfect will!

This is so sweet and encouraging.I love your reading about what God is doing in your life.I read Poppies in December at the end of last year. I really believe the Lord used your testimony of faith and trust in him through the worst time of your life to prepare me for going through the worst time of mine.The last month has been so devastating and heartbreaking but I have never felt the comfort and peace of Christ more in my life.

Hi! A friend of mine told me about your blog last night and I have spent hours catching up! We live in Olive Branch, MS and share such similar stories! My name is Amanda. My husband, Calvin, and I had our first child in 2003. A beautiful baby with full Trisomy 18. We share the same prayers, worries, and joy! She was born at 2 pounds, 3 ounces. We lived a month in Lebonheur and eventually decided to take her home. Sweet Bailey lived three years and on December 22, peacefully went to be with Jesus. We have since had a healthy little girl who is now about to be "5" and have just started the adoption process. Thank you for sharing your story. What strength you show, and I truly believe us "chosen" mommies will one day be rewarded!

What a precious gift from GOD!!!! Precious pictures!!! I have 2 adopted little girls (from Guatemala) and 3 boys.Adoption is soooo special! I am praying the Lord will send us 1 more precious daughter to adopt!