Dear Daddy- A Public Restroom Tale

Today we ended up in the one place that mom has been dreading since… well…. I don’t know since when, but this is the one place she had nightmares about.

The potty room. The big kind, with the walls and the doors, and lots of potties in a place that is not our house.

She thinks they are germy and can handle one with a kid or two, but has been shaking in her boots for the day that she had to cram us all in there and today was it.

We were out and about and everybody had to go and you know those Crazies, they could not WAIT to try a new potty. (Not me Dad, you know me… just go when I need to and sit in it til someone’s downwind. I’m low maintenance that way.)

So Mommy took all of us and the diaper bag and our coats and hats and gloves (boy, does she love winter) to the potty. As soon as we got in we all went running for those swinging doors. The ladies on the other side kept saying “I’m in here!” but that was okay, we just rattled away at those doors anyway.

Mommy waited for the big room and squished us all in. While Mommy got Parker all set, I layed on that cold floor and Daddy, I could see shoes for miles. Mommy made me get up and scrubbed my cheek with a wipe while she held Parker on the potty and, since Mommy was busy and Kenna is no dummy, she took the opportunity to squeeze that paper roll right down the potty behind Parker’s butt. I pushed the flusher for her and we laughed and laughed. Parker didn’t laugh (his butt got extra wet) and neither did Mommy (not her kind of fun I guess).

Anyway, then Kenna went potty and Mommy dragged us out of that little room and tried to wash our hands but I loved this place so much I started unloading the diaper bag so we could stay a while. Mommy said “no, no, no!” but I just smiled and chucked it all. She started packing my unpacking job and while she was down, we all headed for the hills. Mommy chased us with all kinds of our stuff falling off her arms and she thought the party was over but we weren’t done yet. Well we were but Parker wasn’t.

He poked his arm back in there real quick and turned off the lights on all those shoes under the doors just waiting for us to get out. The boy is genius. Can you imagine being in there when the lights went out?? I bet no one could see a thing. I’m glad my diaper-butt was already on the other side!

So anyway, just wanted you to know we are all safe and sound now. I’m blogging, Mommy’s sanitizing the bazillion things that hit the potty room floor (she said alcohol works, I think she is taking a swig or two).

Oh and when you have your Christmas time at home Daddy, I think you might need to give Mommy a day (or ten) off. Because seriously….

now is not the time to break it to her, but this is probably not her last trip to a potty room with these hooligans…

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I'm Jessica, 30-something mom to five, four in my arms and one in my heart.

On any given day you will find me taxi-ing a teenager, mopping up our latest "art project" and trying to remember when I turned the crock pot on… all the while, looking for the closest Starbucks drive thru. more