Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Get thee behind me!

I saw him walk into my office. There was no mistaking the height or build.We embraced.

Him: Heeeey! It’s been a while…you’ve lost some weight and it is good!Me: Yea a really long while. It’s been almost a year since I last saw you right?Him: Yes…something like that. I saw your car outside while driving past and was wondering what you were still doing at work this late.Me: Its only 7 and I had some work to tidy up. How is the family?Him: They are fine. Mehn…you look very sexy! I never imagined you would look this good if you lost some pounds but you do!Me: (Smiling) Thanks. You didn’t see me when I really lost the weight. Now I have packed on the pounds againHim: Oh yea…you must have worked really hard. So what did you do?Me: No big deal. Just dieting…you know watching what I eat and so onHim: And it really worked! See how good you look, I could eat you up right nowMe: (laughing) Eat me ke! Abeg o!Him: You refused to date me na. I don’t know what I did to you sefMe: You are married, that’s what!Him: You remember you told me to give you N5 million and you would date me for one year.I had told him that last year when he kept bugging my life. The bugging stopped soon after that…I knew it would. Stingo!Me: Of course I remember! So do you have the money now?Him: Haba, sweetheart that is being materialistic now. It’s like I am paying you for your love…can’t you just love me from your heart?Me: (lol! See this ewu can beer wey dey find osho free…nonsense!)Did you say love?? If I want love I know where to go for it…not with a married man!Him: This babe you harsh o! Let me make you feel like a real womanMe:??Him: (making a fist) You know my thing…my thing is very big…really BIG. You see this your fine hips enh…that’s just what they need. I’ll….Me: Abeg cut the crap, am leaving the office now. After you!

65 comments:

ROTFLMAO. This is really funny o. Him doing the fist and saying those nasty things. Oh my word! Married men, why some dey like to disgrace themselves all because of sex? I blame the women though that give them the green light. They end up thinking ALL women are like that. Yeye man.

@aijay, okwa I biala now! Lol! Maybe I should direct him to your house since you seem to like BIG things,lol! (kidding!) It’s so common with naija husbands these days. They seem not to understand what faithfulness means anymore. God help us o!

@bumight, he didn’t know I lost weight till he came and my weight was never an issue previously when he was begging to get btw my legs. The man is just one horny he-goat!

Oh Lord, could You please get the married men behind Princesa and send the good looking single Godfearing responsible men before her. NB For married men: NO FLATTERY FROM YOU EXCEPT WITH YOUR WIFE BY YOUR SIDE.

na wa o!!...only 5 million you wanted?..the fool was lucky o!!!...he would have made a deposit of 6 million up front and purchased a car for me, before i even consented to just discuss the possibility o!!!!...nonrefundable deposit!!!...foolish man...

The man was just expressing his needs and y'all are dissing him. Leave the guy abeg oh.It's left for you to slap him or grab him by the crotch.I have seen worse guys get their needs satisfied by ladies for one reason or the other.Don't mind me Princesa.I hope you kicked him in his BIG balls!

honestly, some men are disgusting!You should have sounded (slapped) him, lol! If he comes back...tell us o, we'l give u some tips incase u'r so disgusted that u dont even know what to do to him!Hope u'v been good princessa, its been a while!And who's comment am i seeing above mine? Manda i see you o, lol!

@jaybabe,lol!@DL, "princesa must look like she likes what??. Come back here this babe and explain urself ngwa ngwa(quick quick)!The stingo can not give 5milla o! Anyway if he did, i go collect the money, chop clean mouth,lol!

@wellsbaba, bug me for dream?? God forbid!lol!

@castlequeen, lol! Do we ever stop battling the bulge?? I have packed on teh pounds agin, the guy hadn't just seen me for a while.

@exschoolnerd, laugh on jare!

@manda, lol@union bank! We should actually use the guy for an advert for Union bank abi how u see am?lol!Which positive response?? Make una go rest abeg o!

@chicala, sounded a grown ass man?!I no chop liver reach dat side o! I have been good dear,i see you're back in the ville...thats good!