GR Picks: ‘Jersey Shore’ The RPG

If someone had said 2 years ago that MTV would air a show devoted entirely to following the lives of Italian New Jersey youths over a summer spent dancing, drinking, arguing, and trying to pick up girls, few would have believed it. If you had said that not only would it be made, but that it would become a smash success and a cultural phenomenon with its stars appearing on everything from The Tonight Show to Dancing With the Stars, that would have been too much to believe.

Nevertheless, it happened, and it’s now in its second season. Reality TV has shown us that not only will people watch the ridiculous behaviour of others, but that it has become a legitimate path to celebrity. While many see Jersey Shore as a mindless time-waster without any redeeming qualities, and a scourge upon society, the opposite has recently been revealed. Thanks to the folks over at College Humor, we can see that the tale of Jersey Shore is an epic saga, a hero’s journey if you will. The following video proves that all the show required was a conversion into a retro RPG to make the true saga of these young youths of Jersey come to life.

Take a look, and tell me you don’t realize how unique and courageous these brave souls really are:

I feel ashamed for ever having doubted the intricate mechanics that exist below the surface of what appears to be drunken antics. Obviously, the transformation from old-school RPG tropes to real life was so perfectly executed, it escaped all but the most discerning eyes. I certainly hope this game is currently under production, and I can finally use my hours spent watching the show for some purpose.

The real story here is how distracted we’ve been with upcoming RPGs like Dragon Age 2, The Old Republic, and Borderlands while real gems have been sitting right under our nose. Sure, my Ferelden may carry over to DA 2, but will I be able to use my new protagonist to disrespect clowns, or unleash the unholy power of Gym, Tan, Laundry? I can create a character of any number of classes in TOR, but will they be able to master the regenerative properties of vodka and pickles? I think we all know the answer to that.

RPG’s that aren’t about New Jersey clubbers: consider yourselves on notice.