Archive for August, 2009

Some of you might remember when we had 11 band members. Course, that was BEFORE all the guilt trips over Carbon Footprints, Energy Dependency and Flagrant String Usage.

We want to be Responsible musicians in these Tough Economic Times. We don’t want our kids thinking we brought the world to its knees with our selfish needs. First we gave up the groupies, the drugs and the limos. We quit changing strings more’n once a year. And some of us apparently have vowed Never to change em again. We started carpooling in Paul’s sportscar. Pulled a little trailer for our gear and rode on the bumpers half of us.

This year, like everybody else, we tried for a gov’t bailout. Sec. Paulson was polite enuff but he decided with the South End String Band to draw a line in the shifting sand of capitalism and let the markets dictate our demise.

But we went for Plan D —– Downsizing. We drew straws, gave the losers a blindfold and a cigarette, told em they were saving the Band. Oh, they sniffled, they begged, but in the end they knew it was a Far Far Better Thing They Did….

Next year I expect it’ll be the South End Quartet. Lean mean capitalist machine! But this next song, we’ll give you big band version…. Listen for any mistakes — it’ll make our ‘selection’ process that much easier than counting who has the most string….

Now I know a lot of you South Enders been thinking about that clunker for cash deal the government is offering, maybe trade in the old wheezer for a brand spanking new hybrid. And we don’t blame you one penny pinching bit. But before you run down to the CD store with your beat up, horrifically scratched copy of Victims of Unbridled Ambition by the South End String Band thinking you’ll get a complete set of 2010 Stanwoodopolis Gangsta Rap PLUS 3500 dollars from the government just to get those old cd’s of ours off the airwaves, let me caution you. I think the program was so successful they’re already out of money. Don’t blame us, although we did trade our battered discs for Englebert Humperdink compilations and plan to use the clunker cash for making our next album.

The race, as always, belongs to the hungry. If you want to raise your spirits a bit, we got an offer almost as good. Come on down to the Camano Senile Center’s Old Jalopy and Flea Market Show next Saturday August 8th, 10 to 4. The String Band will be playing our old time fiddle clunkers if we can clean the rust off from a month of R&R. We’re gonna nitro charge the banjos, airscoop the bass, rebore the fiddle, hotrod the guitars, throw some hemis on the mandolin and then we’re airbrushing flames on the vocals, dropping the checkered flag, stomping the accelerator and see who’s standing at the finish.

So don’t feel bad that you’re still stuck with your clunker. You come on down to the old car show and we’ll show you age isn’t about rusting away, it’s all about the styling. See you at the car lot.