Should You Hire a Fertility Coach?

I've always been fascinated by the concept of having a doula—someone who can hold your hand and guide you through the complicated process of pregnancy. But where's the much-needed "doula" for those navigating the often equally intense path of infertility?

Enter the fertility coach, a relatively new field that's gaining traction with women striving to make the leap from "maybe to baby." In fact, that's the name of Rosanne Austin's Northern California-based coaching service: From Maybe to Baby. Austin not only helps her clients plan for the future, but also to navigate complex emotions and tough decisions (such as whether to halt fertility treatments and choose an alternate route like adoption or living child-free).

Austin is no stranger to infertility herself. A former deputy district attorney, Austin was 37 when she and her husband decided to start trying to conceive. "Really quickly, we found ourselves knee-deep in fertility treatment after it became clear it wouldn't happen the old-fashioned way," recalls Austin. After a failed IVF that she says was "probably one of the worst medical experiences I've ever had," she and her husband realized that infertility had completely consumed their lives—and that it was time to recalibrate.

"We had an epiphany that it didn't have to be that way," says Austin. "We were able to start digging ourselves out of the trench where there was only one path to handling the fertility journey; we realized [the process] didn't have to be about misery and suffering and that our lives didn't need to be on hold. It was time to reclaim our lives."

That realization inspired Austin to seek a new career path through the Coaches' Training Institute and help other women gain new perspective on infertility struggles. As a coach, Austin now sees her role as a "sounding board where there is no judgment whatsoever," working with clients on a broad range of fertility topics—from healing from miscarriage to creating a specific fertility treatment plan to nurturing relationships with their partners.

"The coaching I do is really from the perspective that you can love your life on this journey—you just have to have a plan," says Austin. "Otherwise, it's easy to lose yourself in fear."

Austin also challenges her clients to set personal boundaries for themselves, setting a budget for fertility treatments and identifying whatever their "finish line" might be. "It's a really tough topic for people to talk about, but with finite resources, it's important to know your options and how many rounds [of treatment] you're willing to do," she says.

She differentiates coaching from therapy by saying that coaching focuses on the present and future, while therapy mostly delves into the formative past. "Therapy is fantastic, but I focus on what's next," says Austin. "This is about moving forward and not spending too much time in the past. Getting that momentum and moving forward can be very empowering."

With so much "fertile ground" for exploration, Austin typically works with clients for a minimum of 12 weeks, giving clients several one-on-one coaching calls each month along with text and email access to Austin. "I see myself as a partner on the journey," she adds.

As for Austin, she has experienced a miscarriage and several unsuccessful frozen embryo transfers since becoming a coach—and she and her husband have now consciously (and happily) set their sights on adoption. "I don't call myself infertile; my body is not broken," she says. "Infertility changed my life for the better. And that's what I work on with clients: by creating a life they love regardless, it will be so much better when and if the baby comes."

Jen Jones DonatelliJen Jones Donatelli is an author and journalist whose work and photography have appeared in Conde Nast Traveler, LA Confidential, Natural Health, Variety, San Francisco, Whole Life Times, Clean Plates, Total Beauty, and many more.

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