I really appreciate y’all for reading and commenting on the first blog post. I appreciate also all of you that took out time to make corrections, they were very helpful.

On today’s post, I’ll be discussing changing church and the parental drama involved.I’m currently fighting the third leg of a three years old war of the churches with my father and I’m pretty confident this time I’ll win. Believe me when I say it is a war, ‘cos it really is. When it comes to my Dad we never argue like regular people. We fight wars, mapping out strategies, brandishing weapons (words) and hiring mercenaries.

The first leg of the war began the first time I told my father I wanted to change church and stop attending our family church.
Fresh out of Uni, I figured I had attained a level of spirituality from my fellowship in school that needed to be maintained. Something I knew my current church could not do. So I prayed and planned my line of argument. I even planned a call and response; if he says this I’ll say this……..
To my utter disbelief, his answer was a straight to the point NO. He didn’t ask why I wanted a change, where I wanted to change to or anything. Just a quick NO followed by a “pass me the remote” and the conversation was over. I didn’t even get a chance to fight.

Angry was an understatement, I felt slighted after all my prepared speech. I decided I was going to totally ignore him, I even googled how to survive without parental support (I’m not called drama queen for nothing) two days later, baba brought home chicken suya and I figured I still needed him to pay law school tuition anyways, so I might as well eat his peace offering. So I did.
Telling him the second time was a lot easier, I was less nervous and well prepared. I decided even if he doesn’t react I will draw a reaction out of him. This time, he asked why I wanted a change. I started explaining how our current church isn’t youth friendly, I explained that feeling a soulful connection to a church is very important also our Church doesn’t speak my spiritual love language and doesn’t meet my overall spiritual needs.

His response ,

“Your spiritual needs? So all of us in that church are spiritually dead, did God tell you this?, so all of us in our church are going to hell niyen, “so Jesus is not in our church abi? ”

This isn’t even a question of heaven or hell father!. It is of growth and Yes, Jesus is in our Church he just doesn’t speak the language I understand there. It’s like going for a French service, when there is an English service elsewhere that I can understand and can relate to. French services are not wrong but they are wrong for me.

The entire focus of our current church does not fit the overall plan of my life and where I’m currently at spiritually. Simply put I have outgrown our church.(yea that happens)

I also tried to explain that all I was looking for was the word, a church with a word based ministry. I wasn’t leaving our church for some hippie Jesus movement, where the music is louder than the worship, and the congregation is encouraged to do back-flips for Jesus (because let’s face it, his greatest fear is that I’ll break my spine in my quest for salvation) but he just wasn’t having it.
Nothing I said made sense and all my points were turned into condemnation of our current church. He really took it personally, ending his long sermon with disobedience is as a sin of witchcraft.
I really want to change my church, but not on a rebellious note-without my father’s consent. What kind of Christian will that make me? besides, I do not want to paint a picture that my “church to be” encouraged rebellion.
I thought my father’s reaction was peculiar, until I told a couple of my friends. I found out from them that his reaction was perfectly in line with the teachings of the school of parenthood.

I asked those who already made the change how they triumphed, and their responses echoed the same words patience and more patience. Someone even suggested good behavior and a great display of spiritual maturity, gently explaining that there is a big difference between leaving a church and leaving God.

I fear that my father’s reluctance is all part of a “don’t grow up too fast/ I’ll hold on to you for as long as I can” phase. But then again, what do I really know about the workings of an old man’s mind.

Feel free to jump in with war tips and suggestions if you are also currently fighting this war (even if it’s not a war in your family) or if you have experienced and won.

P.S- Did i mention my mother (the ultimate mercenary) has been swinging like a pendulum and has refused to pick a side. Just end this war already MOTHER!!!!!!

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23 thoughts on “JESUS IS IN OUR CHURCH TOO!!!”

😄😄 I can totally relate with this! For me, it wasn’t about church change per we, but about my beliefs and practices. Both my parents fought me on that one, but I wasn’t budging. Over time, I learnt that I couldn’t necessarily change their mind, but I also realized that they were right about some things. Bottom line, they started to see some things the way I presented, but even when they didn’t fully understand, because I chose peace in how I dealt with the issues and them, they became chill. I can sooo relate lol😄

This issue is very very common in most home these days. And this due to children going to universites experience God’s wonder in another form, experiencing praise and worship in another form, been taught and understanding the bible easily compare to the family Church where everything seems like its so difficult to connect to God. In my father’s voice ” we must listen to sermon from the same pastor. So far we are under the same roof that week. So, we have the same knowledge and opinion about the word of God.” i really hope and pray we can win this fight.

Wow, I really enjoyed this piece. Cracked me up a lot, particularly with the ‘war theme’. Love how your ”funny-crazy” persona flows through your write up.
Anyways. I fought this fight … And boy, did I win!
Although I had a huge weapon on my side, -my mum- it still required plenty prayer and fasting and loads of patience and strategy.
My switch was gradual and progressive, but i think the single most instrumental factor was ”Becoming Independent”. The moment I stopped leaving with my parents they had very little control on what church I chose to attend.

I didn’t have it this difficult with my parents. I didn’t really change my church in the real sense. I moved.

I’ve been moving for years and I’ve just been meeting wonderful Christians everywhere, listening to the Word for every particular stage of my growth. I still don’t understand how God does it, but He ensures our circumstances are fashioning His best for us especially when the converse appears to be the case.

My ‘punk’ friend made me read your piece, and as usual, i told him i don’t wanna read any epistle. But you are good. Very. This situation is something i totally relate with ( patents attend Cele and i attend Redeemed). God help you in your quest. Btw, even after you win, you still have to deal with their “concerned” church members claming to be praying for your lost soul.
I love the title too. Keep sharing. God bless ya.

There is no need to start some unholy war. He has finished you and you have summed it all up in this word “disobedience”. I remember my Pastor used that same line to get me to restart my Senior Secondary School class again when I was supposed to be in SS. 3 and as at then I was 18+ so I was way too old even for SS.3 but that was what my Mum wanted. The experience was humiliating and humbling but it helped reshape my life and I have been a very serious young man since then.

My advice, don’t let your mind frolic away, stay where God has planted you and be more involved, time changes everything but there is no need to be miserable before it does.

Trust me I am very involved. But then again activity isn’t what Christianity is all about. There is a need for growth, a growth that comes from being constantly fed, for every level of spirituality you attain there is a different need. If that need and hunger in your spirit isn’t being met no amount of church activity involvement can make up for it.
Disobeying has never been an option, this is me praying he changes his mind.

Mehn, I can say, I’ve been there, I over came not through rebellion, My dad is more liberal, my mum is the “they must preach heaven everyday advocate.” In my service year, I attended the Church I really wanted to, it helped me grow. I got lots of CD’s when I was listening. I think you can keep listening to messages for now and continue to pray about it. Enjoy where you are, don’t miss the blessing of now.

Hmmmm… I can’t but comment after reading this write up . lolzzz… I hope I don’t get a smack for this. I can relate with what you’re saying; hearing people with similar issues complain and wishing they had a way out. My advice for you is to keep it cool and don’t force your way out of it. Somethings just happen natural a times. So far you’re still under their roof, you’re subject to their rules, no matter grown up you are. I never had restrictions when I need to make such decisions, maybe it’s because i’m a guy. My advice, get the best of your current church, listen to audio tapes and read books from those you admire to worship under the same tenth with. Nice write up.

I can relate with this post cos we attend the same church. Weeks into living with family again and having to resume “our church” I found myself really distracted and unable to connect with the service cos I kept on wishing I was independent again. I called a friend n complained cos he attends the same church. I was ready to go to war n insist on going back to my fmr church but as usual the need for God’s input in a situation should never be undermined. I found myself praying for the grace to connect and to be in tune again instead of the prayer of strength to go to war and I came to know that sometimes its just our mind n emotions working against us n not letting us benefit from the ongoing flow of the church we are currently in. Now don’t get me wrong I’m still going to change church once I moved out but for now I’m enjoying the flow of where I am and praying for the pastors too to meet my needs after all Jesus is one. I’m also reading n listening to messages from my church that helps too. So you can try that please I apologise for my lengthy comment. Hope it helps you. Love your write ups D.