Shakespeare said, “A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.” Does the same sentiment apply to losing your job? Here are a few words and phrases that I’ve heard over the years that all basically mean the same thing: terminated, fired, made available to industry, sacked, canned, separated, exploring other business interests, discharged, axed, RIFed, laid off, whacked, given the opportunity to be successful elsewhere, dismissed, and let go. Did I miss any?

There are subtle differences between some of these words but otherwise they are all variations on a theme with different levels of sensitivity or compassion mixed in. As you might have been able to tell, I’m compassionate, but I’m not an overly sensitive guy.

The bottom line is that for whatever reason; you don’t work here anymore. It’s time to move on, start networking and find out where you are going to work next. That may be easier said than done, but what’s the alternative, sleep on your mother’s couch?

In 1969 Elisabeth Kubler-Ross published a book called On Death and Dying that changed the way that we looked at the grieving process. Kubler-Ross identified five stages in the grieving process that, with some perspective, can be applied to being fired.

Denial – No, there must be some mistake – they can’t fire me I’m a good person and a hard worker.

Anger – It’s not fair! I do way more work than Joe, fire him! This is discrimination!

Bargaining – There has to be another way. How about if I take a cut in pay? Could I work part-time for a while? Maybe if I get some more training?

Depression – Whatever – I’ve seen this coming – there is nothing I could have done – I probably deserved it – I should have left when Bob quit.

Acceptance – Okay, what’s done is done – time to move on and find that next job.

The deal is, that you will not be effective in looking for a new job until you get to stage five. While this may sound harsh, you just need to get over it and move on. You might have been discriminated against; there might have been a chance for you to take a cut in pay; maybe there was a mistake; but at the end of it all, you’re sitting at home on the couch watching Judge Judy when you should be out looking for a new job. No pitty-party, no woe-is-me; it is time to get up, brush off your resume, start networking, and get to it.

Looking for a new job is a full time job. If you let your anger at your former employer come out in your interviews, no one is going to hire you. If you pout and whine during a networking meeting, no one is going to refer you to their contacts. If you can’t get off the couch and make some phone calls, your network isn’t going to grow.

It’s hard, but it’s life. I’ve been there. I’ve seen lots of other people and I am confident that you can too. Now get up, get to work, and let’s find that next job.

—————-

If you want more advice on how to write a resume, how to, network or just how to find a job, check out I’m Fired?!? A Business Fable about the Challenges of Losing One Job and Finding Another. Click here for more details.

(This post was first published in December, 2013. It’s been awhile and I think some of you need to read it for the first time and others need to read it again.)

Anybody a fan of the movie Big? I love it when Tom Hanks sings this Barbara Streisand song to his mom to prove that he is really her missing little boy.

How does it feel to get fired? Simple – it sucks. It’s like getting punched in the stomach. Even when you know its coming it is an awful feeling. I’ve been blindsided a couple of times. The boss calls you in. You think everything is going great. Then she says, “I’m sorry but we’ve decided to make a change. We’re eliminating your position. Your last day will be …”

You don’t really hear much after that. Your head starts to swim. You feel a little nauseated. Depending on how quickly you move through the stages I wrote about in an earlier post you may get angry. You may try to plead. Your fight or flight instincts kick in and sometimes you just want to get the heck out of there.

You’re probably reading this because you’ve already been fired and know what I’m talking about. If so, then you may be wondering why I’m wasting your time recalling bad memories.

Here’s why. You need to remember what that feels like. I don’t know if you got fired yesterday, last week, or 10 years ago, but look at where you are today. You’re alive. The world continues to revolve, the sun rises and sets. Life goes on, and no matter how bad you felt when that happened, you survived.

It might have been difficult to talk about – maybe it still is. It’s always hard to tell your family – believe me I know that. But you’ll go on. Follow this blog. Read the book (soon I hope). Build a network. There are people who can and will help you.

Now let’s get busy and find you that next job.

—————-

If you want more advice on how to write a resume, how to, network or just how to find a job, check out I’m Fired?!? A Business Fable about the Challenges of Losing One Job and Finding Another. Click here for more details.

I was working with a friend who was in a tizzy. She was trying to apply for a new job that she really wanted, but she was stuck on one blank of the application – “Reason for Leaving.” She had been fired from her last job for performance reasons and she was afraid that if she said that on this application then she would not get hired. But, if she didn’t say that, and they found out, they would fire her for lying on her application. What to do?!?!?

First thing – honesty is the best policy. You should never lie on your resume, cover letter or a job application. Making false statements is a lousy way to get ahead and will ultimately come back and bite you. However, not telling a lie is a long way from telling 100% of the truth. There are some options – any of which might be the right thing for you.

Be straightforward – “Terminated for performance reasons”. Hopefully the company likes enough about your overall qualifications that they still interview you and you can explain (assuming you have a good explanation).

Misdirection – “Involuntary Separation”. That could mean fired, RIFed, Laid Off, or anything. Again, it gives them the opportunity to ask and for you to explain.

Avoidance – leave it blank. You should not assume that because you leave it blank they will assume you were fired. Leaving it blank gives them an opportunity to discuss the situation.

You can even try “Mutual Decision” approach – “they fired me before I could quit.”

The bottom line is you need to be prepared to explain why it didn’t work out for you at that job plus how you’ve learned from that so whatever happened won’t be a problem at your new job.

You also have to be honest with yourself. If you were fired because you really were not any good at your job, save yourself the trouble and don’t apply for that kind of job again. Find something your good at and do that.

Finally, here is what I have found to be true. If you were meant to get this job, then you will get the opportunity to explain yourself and that explanation will satisfy the interviewer. If they choose to be so short-sighted so as to pass on your resume just because you were asked to leave a job, then that is their loss. Not only will they not have the pleasure of working with you, but there are lots of other good people they are going to miss.

Bottom line – tell the truth, as briefly as you can, and be prepared to explain. That’s all you can do.

Anybody a fan of the movie Big? I love it when Tom Hanks sings this Barbara Streisand song to his mom to prove that he is really her missing little boy.

How does it feel to get fired? Simple – it sucks. It’s like getting punched in the stomach. Even when you know its coming it is an awful feeling. I’ve been blindsided a couple of times. The boss calls you in. You think everything is going great. Then she says, “I’m sorry but we’ve decided to make a change. We’re eliminating your position. Your last day will be …”

You don’t really hear much after that. Your head starts to swim. You feel a little nauseated. Depending on how quickly you move through the stages I wrote about in an earlier post you may get angry. You may try to plead. Your fight or flight instincts kick in and sometimes you just want to get the heck out of there.

You’re probably reading this because you’ve already been fired and know what I’m talking about. If so, then you may be wondering why I’m wasting your time recalling bad memories.

Here’s why. You need to remember what that feels like. I don’t know if you got fired yesterday, last week, or 10 years ago, but look at where you are today. You’re alive. The world continues to revolve, the sun rises and sets. Life goes on, and no matter how bad you felt when that happened, you survived.

It might have been difficult to talk about – maybe it still is. It’s always hard to tell your family – believe me I know that. But you’ll go on. Follow this blog. Read the book (soon I hope). Build a network. There are people who can and will help you.

Shakespeare said “A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.” Does the same thing apply to losing your job? Here are a few words and phrases that I’ve heard over the years that all basically mean the same thing: terminated, fired, sacked, canned, separated, axed, RIFed, laid off, whacked, made available to industry, given the opportunity to be successful elsewhere, exploring other business interests, discharged, dismissed, and let go. Did I miss any?

They all mean the same thing – you don’t work here any more. Does it really matter which one they use? Is it better to be separated than discharged? Discharged generally refers to being asked to leave (add that to the list) but when you’re discharged from the hospital you typically are not unhappy about that. Some say “terminated” sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie or something from the Sopranos, but what HR department tracks your “available to industry” date? No, we all call it the Term Date.

There are subtle differences between some. For instance, Laid Off traditionally had a union connection and it implied a right to be recalled when business picked up again. RIFed (Reduction In Force) is a job elimination – there is nothing for you to be recalled to.

Other than that, they are all variations on a theme with different levels of sensitivity or compassion mixed in. As you might have been able to tell, I’m not an overly sensitive guy.

The bottom line is for whatever reason, you don’t work here any more. Its time to move on, start networking and find out where your are going to work next. That may be easier said than done, but what’s your alternative, sleep on your mother’s couch? Let’s get to work.

In 1969 Elisabeth Kubler-Ross published a book called On Death and Dying that changed the entire way that we looked at the grieving process. In the book Kubler-Ross identified five stages in the process: Denial – this isn’t happening to me, Anger – it’s not fair, Bargaining – please God, I’ll do better, Depression – what does it matter anyway, and finally, Acceptance – we had a great run now let’s look forward to the next phase.

With some perspective one can apply these same five stages to many of life’s challenges and they definitely apply to being fired.

Denial – no, there must be some mistake – they can’t fire me I’m a good person and a hard worker.

Anger – it’s not fair! I do way more work than Joe, fire him! This is discrimination!

Bargaining – there has to be another way. How about if I take a cut in pay? Could I work part-time for awhile? Maybe if I get some more training?

Depression – whatever – I’ve seen this coming – there is nothing I could have done – I probably deserved it – I should have left when Bob quit.

Acceptance – Okay, what’s done is done – time to move on and find that next job.

We all grieve at different speeds. I’ve worked with hundreds of terminated people and I almost always see these same 5 steps. Some people take months, others can fly through the range of emotions in minutes.

The deal is though, that you will not be effective in looking for a new job until you get to stage 5. While this may sound harsh, you just need to get over it and move on. You might have been discriminated against; there might have been a chance for you to take a cut in pay; maybe there was a mistake; but at the end of it all, you’re sitting at home on the couch watching Judge Judy when you should be out looking for a new job. No pitty-party, no woe is me. Get up, brush off your resume, start networking, and get to it.

Looking for a new job is a full time job. If you let your anger at your former employer come out in your interviews, no one is going to hire you. If you pout and whine during a networking meeting, no one is going to refer you to their friends. If you can’t get off the couch and make some phone calls, your network isn’t going to grow.

It’s hard, but it’s life. I’ve been there. I’ve seen many other people do it. You can too. Now get up and get to work and find that next job.

Search for:

Follow Blog via Email

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.