How to Save The World?

Tales of infidelity

The experience and feedback

Anon writes: I won't tell you my name but I've been married for five years and having decided to put off having kids until after I turned 30, we'd been working hard to build our dream home. We hadn't gone too far overboard in terms of debt, but I'm sure this was one of the major factors upsetting our relationship.

In those first few years of courtship and marriage we both had good paying jobs and a great deal of confidence, so we had sex often and everywhere. But in some-ways it seemed too good to last because my work was reduced to part-time and although Simon still worked same number of hours, he'd taken a pay cut which meant we can't afford the luxuries we'd become accustomed to, but on top of all that the frequency and quality of sex has also diminishing.

A few months back Simon got a nice bonus which improved things for a few weeks but now it seems like we were just an old married couple infrequently having sex which is sometimes not worth the trouble. I put up with this for a few months and I figured that because good sex was one of the reasons we married, you might understand that I was feeling short-changed.

I'd been accustomed to guys hitting on me since I was a kid and a few weeks back I finally said yes and it was really wonderful. It was almost like dating all over again but it was an effort to restrain myself. Now after two weeks and sex with six men though one turned out to be useless, I'm really questioning whether I should continue to be unfaithful or try to turn myself back into a model wife. What do you think I should do?

Counsels reply: There will probably come a time when you have to tell Simon and as far as church and state are concerned, infidelity is an offence. But the thing is that human nature cannot be controlled by church and state and you really have to decide what is right for you. But from all the research, it seems that that if you restrain yourself and live a miserable life you are more likely to become sick and die young whereas if you're not careful, there's always the risk of disease, pregnancy and rough treatment by your spouse and friends should you be found out. There is nothing wrong with extramarital sex from a human standpoint, it's just a social issue or at least that's how I see it.

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