This is my first attempt at Urdu poetry and the first time of writing anything poetic which is this long. I know it doesn't make sense but since your writing made me think of these words, I wanted to share them with you. Excuse the indecipherability!

If I come back to the way I usually comment. I can say a lot about it. Probably much more than I should. You made me feel it, Avi! The emotions she felt, the helplessness he felt!

This one piece is the penned down version of what nobody wishes to go through. Who would want to sit in the stale-walled room with beeping sounds of the machines and know the person lying in front of you might not breathe the next moment? Who would want to see them being pricked and injected endlessly and think it is for their good knowing how much pain it's causing them? Who would want to believe that the dreams you wove around that person might never come true? Who would want to be called by a name like this: 'Room 508' or 'Room 508's wife'? Who would want to lie down in that bed and see your love worrying over you? Who would want to feel helpless when they're not able to remove the traces of anxiety they see in their eyes? No one. Not a single soul would want that. Yet this is something which isn't given by choice. This is something which we have to pull through if we're put in this situation. The patient has to be strong for his family and the family has to appear brave for the patient.

The way you have woven the words through their pain and misery, through the way he tries to lighten her by joking, the way she looks on without his knowledge, the way that the doctor's wife tried to bring in some colour and excitement to their lives had me entranced! I could feel it like I'm a part of it all.

Her dream of a happier yesterday, her hopes of a better tomorrow and her determination to make it better. All of it touched me, pricked my heart and made me smile in hope. Very well written, Avi!

LuvGuaravNewbie

She sat next to him caressing his hair as he slept. Her fingers lightly touched his scalp as she could feel her fingertips emote her heart. Another day, the countless pin pricks he received to check his blood, the nonstop invasion of his privacy by the nurses had exhausted him and she watched him anxiously. Her heart always seemed to be in her eyes these days. Sometimes the overplay of emotions tugged his heart so hard. Today he was too tired to even soothe her. His eyes would not stay open. Don't hurt so much for me, he wanted to tell her; not that she could stop. It was always him in her eyes and her heart and he had always known it. She never was mysterious or secretive about it. He was her world and that was not something she ever hid. Today this had become a weight on his heart. He hoped the doctor had some good news for him. More for her than himself, he was anxious.

They were taking too long, she thought. Maybe the doc had to play golf today, he suggested. She smirked. As always he had read her mind and was trying to keep her smiling. She gave him a sweet reassuring smile and held his hand. This was something new with her. She was holding his hand so much more these days as if she would not let him go ever. They heard some giggles headed their way. He was surprised she did not let go.

A rush of color and giggles entered the room. The doctor entered behind his wife, his friends from medical school, in slight pursuit catching her scarf lightly with a smile on his face. He looked at the couple in the graying hospital room holding hands and gave a small nod.

"How's my favorite patient today..."? He pulled the chart from the base of the bed and read the nurses notes. "...I'll be back in a minute". His wife sat silently next to the couple hugging the lady while he left the room.

"What have you been up to today?", the patients wife asked her.

"Nothing much, we just walked through the park near the fountain".

There was a world of excitement in her voice as she brought the colorful world into the dismal room. Her hands moved rapidly as she painted the picture for them; the masses of people, the street performers, the music students practicing a violin concerto, the children running around. He noticed how she was listening with full attention although her eyes still had the anxiety in the back of them. He thought she had finally diverted her but the sneaky glances to the door escaped him. Her pulse accelerated as the doctor entered the room with the latest reports. "Good and not so good news again, counts were improving but we are not quite out of the woods yet".

She attempted a smile yet again. Sometimes her efforts to appear brave defeated him the most. "So you will not be bossing over me tonight", he said smiling at his wife, "... I will have Julie, Tina and Mona again for company and you can go back to Anderson". Gone were the days when she cringed hearing those names; a soothing smile hovered over her face along with the knowledge deep within that he was only hers.

She smiled at the doctor and his wife who were getting ready to leave. They had dinner plans at a nearby restaurant with friends. She was going on and on about the food options as she was vegetarian and he was not. With a tight hug and small kisses the excitement left the room taking some colors of autumn with them.

'Jaan', he said, 'hmmm', 'go home and rest, I am sleepy as it is'. He had to do this almost every day. Home? For her home was in his arms; still she saw how tired he looked. She picked up her things, draping the shawl tightly around her. His hands stopped her and tugged slightly. "My daily dose of sweets"? His fingers ran slowly over her cheeks and his fingers touched the edge of her lips. Her face lit up with yearning then she tamped her feelings down quickly and smiled at him resting her lips on his.

She was always an open book to him and his eyes darkened in response. Slowly, ever so slowly she brought his hands down. "Goodnight darling, rest up I will see you soon", she said walking slowly away. He looked at her as she smiled at him "Anderson is waiting". His eyes were fighting to stay open. She waited in the shadows till they drifted to a close then walked slowly to give him a kiss on his forehead before leaving. The nurse looked up from the rerun of the royal wedding. "To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do us part" was playing in the background. Room 508's wife was leaving. The nurse smiled at her.

The streets were dark as she headed to the car park. The cold weather permeated to her bones as she drove to their house. Entering the empty house she immediately turned on the TV to eclipse the silence that filled her life these days and the voice of Anderson Cooper on CNN reporting the daily news filled the space. She checked the answering machine wistfully, no messages. Coiling herself in a bundle she settled on the sofa with her shawl wrapped tightly and watched the news disinterestedly.

The warm breeze felt so good after the harsh Toronto winter. Limbs tangled on the extra large beach towel under the huge beach umbrella. Empty glasses of mock tails and snacks littered the side table. This was her favorite pose while sleeping. Enveloped in his arms in this idyllic setting, she had a smile on her face as she watched the waves lapping the shores. Sort of like me, she thought, constantly seeking more and more and more. He slept contently where as she was just savoring this joyous surprise. He had walked in on Thursday and hurriedly packed their bags. No idea where they were going and for how long. She pestered him all the way to the airport to find out. He was good with surprises like that. Her reactions always filled him with an abundance of joy. She smiled as she remembered how she had flung herself in his arms at the airport when she had found out about the beach vacation. He had lifted her high into his arms in the middle of the airport.

Her life had been on a high every since he came to her life. He had fallen in love with her at first sight and even before she could catch her breath they had been engaged within a week. His easy charming nature made him the most attractive in any crowd and that's how he usually could be found talking, smiling and laughing with everyone. People flocked to him and somehow in her shyness she never understood what he saw in her. Even after years when she had asked him he never gave her a straight answer instead he would just laugh and point to her dimples and say that his heart got stuck there. She smiled as she remembered him wanting to register the wedding in the next week and when she had wanted her parents to give her away he had waited for two weeks before they were married never leaving her side. They were hugely happy. Their house always filled with friends and family, music and singing, get togethers and parties. His every action spoke of his care and nurturing and she had put all self doubts aside and cherished the role of being his wife. Her every unspoken wish was fulfilled before she could finish her thought and she had learnt to reciprocate and even outdo him sometimes. Every day was filled with the joy that he brought to her life. Every night filled with his passion. Her lips glued to his as her legs wrapped around him.

Jaan, she squeezed him really hard just as the shrieking sound of her alarm buzzed. She woke up sweating and closed her eyes tightly willing for the dream to continue. Heaving a deep sigh, she joined her hands in prayer then opened them again thanking the Lord for this day that he was still with her. With a new determination to make every day count she walked to the closet thinking of what he would like to see her in. She picked the colorful scarf he had picked out for her on that long ago beach vacation and tied that little bit of happiness around her as she headed out towards the hospital again.

How touching. Brought me to tears. You have a wonderful way of expressing the pain and joy of life.

-MitraSenior Member

I'm always thrilled to see the first transformations that lead you to write...

A heart warming piece. Its a brave journey, after all, to live through a the last days of her dying companion. Such complex emotions wring her when she has to keep up appearances of being happy for him, when she is really being cleaved in despair.

My favorite line is, of course, "tied that little bit of happiness around her " This gives me hope that she will survive it all.

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.