I try so hard to make this pain concrete, but it eludes me. Perhaps akin to the same phantom pain that amputees experience. A remedy, they found, was a mirror placed strategically against the undamaged symmetrical part of the body that tricks the mind into thinking that you are complete. When it is, in fact just a mirror-image placebo. And that’s good enough to temporarily thwart the pain of something that is not there. A pain of something that is vivid in your memory, that you want so badly to wake up from.

I wish I could look into a mirror and quantify the completeness of my life, but everyday is a struggle to find that empty spot that needs to be filled. The day is full of distractions, full of chatter with no meaning. A lot of times you succeed in playing through the motions that the ‘real’ world prescribes you, the routine that allows you to function outside of your mind. Disconnect me from the bullshit. What makes the pain worse is not just the past; the real pain lies in imagining a world without you in it. I miss you, and I love you, Alexis and Nika.

I don’t mean to be a jackass, but the next time someone shows up to a small gig using a dSLR and kit lens, taking an obnoxious number of pictures using the pop-up flash… I will ask how their pictures went, and gush about how they must be so awesome!

Seriously. There’s a reason why flash photography is not allowed in venues. Not to blind the band, but to prevent people from taking crap pictures. Remember, on-board flash = crap! And if you can obviously see on the playback screen that your pictures look like crap, taking another one (and 40 more thereafter) using the same technique must probably give you better photographs. What’s that saying about teaching the pig to fly? Something about annoying the pig.

Phoenix at the Greek Theater last night. Love this song, a cover from Air. More on my YouTube account.
They put on a great show, the crowd was fun, which says a lot about your music I think. I almost forgot how small the Greek really is, and it’s probably the smallest outdoor venue here in SoCal. Fun times :)