These are posts about my involvement in the church of Scientology. I was raised in Scientology from around age 6. I signed the infamous "billion-year contract" when I was 15. I was in the Sea Org from September 2001 through July 2004. I was kicked out for being gay just after my 18th birthday. Eventually I spoke out against the abuse I suffered while there and my family is now disconnected from me.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Scientology is Not Worth It

I was raised in Scientology. My parents became involved around the time I was 5 or 6, through a front group known as WISE. They go around to small businesses--in the case of my dad it was a CPA firm--and promise them riches if they use the self-described Hubbard Management Technology.

This is a picture my family posted last year specifically to show
how happy they are without me

My dad ended up in a quarter of a million dollars in debt and sold his firm to move to California. Once we got there he was no longer a business owner, he was working for someone else--a fellow Scientologist. The house we lived in, in a tiny town called Mineola, was sold upside down because of the pressure that his fellow Scientologists put on him to move to the mini-Mecca of Scientology in Los Angeles. What used to be a thriving CPA firm, for which they were considering opening a second branch, is now a tattoo parlor. My grandfather's legacy, and my father's greatest success in life were completely stomped out of existence simply so that my dad could chase the dream of being an Operating Thetan. My dad has openly admitted that since joining Scientology he has never once been debt free. My dad has sunk more money into the cult of Scientology than he has his own children. He lost his brother and sister to disconnection. My dad lost his oldest son to Scientology twice--once to the Sea Org and second to disconnection. He has lost his youngest son to the Sea Org.

My mom has shared that debt and lifestyle with my father. She has not even achieved the spurious state of "Clear". One of the higher levels, which my father has long since passed. The key being that the levels are achieved by paying for them, and my father has decided that his advancement in the cult is more important than my mother's. My mother is stuck in her marriage because she lost all three of her sisters, her oldest son, and her mother and father to disconnection. My mother's mother knew that Scientology was a cult--even in the 90s--and when she was begging my mother to return home from California, my father shouted at her and accused her of being a bad mother. My mother was prohibited from speaking to her family unless she was in the presence of my father. Her siblings lost her to her abusive relationship with my dad which is reinforced--or maybe manufactured--by Scientology. Everything that they experienced together, all the bonds they forged and the love that grew between them was wiped away in a matter of a year or two by the cult of Scientology. She now dedicates more of her time to the cult than she did to raising her children. She works 18 hour days for Scientology, and comes home tired and hungry because she's not allowed a lunch or dinner break. Both her sons are gone and her daughter despises her (though her daughter would not admit it to her face).

My brother had a lot of friends and was doing great in High School. Then Scientology took over. My dad and other members of the cult convinced him that the cult was more important than his schooling or his friends. He dropped out and never finished high school, and then eventually he joined the Sea Org. Since the age of 17 he's been a literal slave for the cult of Scientology. Working 18 to 20 hour days on average. Eating just enough to get by, and living in a dormitory for their workforce. Since he was 13 he has been spending his nights and weekends with the cult. Now that he's dropped out of school, he is spending 24 hours a day ensnared by the cult. He will never go to college. He is completely lost to the cult.

My sister has no idea what a healthy relationship is like. She thinks that a healthy relationship is one where she is the dominant and controlling partner in the relationship. Just like my dad. She's never seen what a truly happy couple looks like. She is doing her best to have a life outside of the cult but she was forced to disconnect from me by Scientology and so she has lost me and all of her cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents because she allows her father to dictate who she should associate with. Her father dictates that as a representative of the Scientology cult. In that respect, she has lost all of this to Scientology.

When I was a child I was blessed with a lot of loving of cousins and aunts. We used to meet up multiple times a week. As Scientology encroached, that slowed down to a couple of times a month. Then down to once a month. Then only on birthdays and holidays. Eventually it ceased altogether. I went 15 years without a real visit to see my extended family. I grew up away from them. I was

groomed for the cult. Despite my success in High School, I too dropped out at age 15. I never went to school again. I lost all of the friendships I had formed. I was forced into the Sea Org by Scientology. Eventually they threw me out because I wasn't the perfect slave. My parents gave me a roof over my head under the condition that I either get a job or kill myself. Unfortunately, that's not a morbid joke. I thought about the latter, but eventually I got a job. My dad decided that 1/3 of my income was his since I was living there. He stuck to that until I moved out. Eventually I decided that Scientology wasn't for me so I left, only to discover things were much better on the outside. I now have more friends and family than I ever had on the inside. I am happier than I ever have been. While my sister, brother, and parents continue on with their miserable lives, I am truly enjoying all the connections I've made, and success I've enjoyed since leaving.

My story is not unique. Most of us find that when we leave Scientology things are better than you could ever imagine. I cannot think of one positive thing that ever came of Scientology. All of them came after I left or during my leaving process.

Scientology is not worth anything. There is nothing to be gained and everything to be lost. It's rife with abuse and hate. It chews people up and spits them out. It is a billion dollar plus business enterprise. There is so much information available out there, that there is no excuse for ignorance on the subject. You will hurt more people by joining Scientology than you would ever hurt by not joining it. If you're already in, and you happen to read this for some reason, you won't hurt anyone by leaving because frankly the people you consider friends and family in Scientology don't give a fuck about you and won't even notice when you're gone. Don't believe me? Try it, and tell me I was wrong.