All the theory, all the knowledge, all the heartbreak and drama... starts here.
In 2012, XJ Randall started a blog to enhance his association with nature and with God. What he didn't know is that his venture into the unknown was expected for a very, very long time.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Unfinished Thoughts: Man Exists Eternally Through Truth

Unfortunately, the motivational drive I had earlier to encapsulate the total essence of this thought has somewhat diminished, so I'll do the best I can to explain it. It is just a thought. But, I think, there is Truth to it.

It all started earlier this week, when I came unprepared to a meeting with my Professor. I'm taking an English course in 19th century English literature, which, I can tell you, until up to this point, has vexed the shit out of me ("Vexing" is an understatement. The first several books we were required to read were teeth-grindingly difficult to find interesting. I'm thinking, "God this is so boring! Why am I putting myself through this...?" (Based on my history, English is not my forte, but when a person WANTS something, physically, emotionally, they will get it: I am no less than determined to get an A or B in this course)).

The meeting was dependent on my required reading of Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf, which, if any of you have read, is a pretty neat book. But my busy schedule hadn't allowed me to finish it yet. Disappointed, and being awoken by the staunch aroma of dis-satisfactory unpreparedness, I was kick started in the ass by intrinsic motivation to complete the book by the end of the day, which, for the most part, I did. What I didn't realize is that I would learn something in the process, something I thought, reading English literature, was far from capable of teaching me.

I'm not going to go through the whole book, but basically the part that got my attention is that people and society in the 19th century England were very 'stoic' and 'un-free' with their emotions. They had just been through a war which cost thousands of lives and the majority of society was trying to push a deep emotional baggage (or enigma) of it under the rug as if it had no volume. The social etiquette to remain silent and ignore 'the problem' further complicated the issue, especially since this type of behavior, i.e. the lack of emotional empathy or recognition, was further compounded by the unrefined heretical practices of treatment during the day, upheld and entertained by the disillusioned governing class that ruled over the majority. Obviously the lump under the carpet could not be ignored, since it was spilling out in a sort of mass social panic or post traumatic stress disorder.

Anyway, I'm thinking, "This sounds just like my struggle with college...!" In that, I keep trying to suppress something in me that is telling me that college is not the right choice for me, and hell, maybe it's not the right choice for a lot of people out there, but we feel like there is no other choice than to follow norms. So we suppress our inner voice, we kill a part of ourselves inside that wants to be free, and I think that later on this leads to psychosis. I was telling my sister the other day, who was at a dinner party she didn't want to be at, only because she had no money at the time:

"You shouldn't keep doing that. Because, when you keep submitting to superficial things that are against your morals or ethical values you commit a crime against yourself and really, it takes a part of you little by little that you may never get back again. A person can get a serious psychological order when they have to suppress their 'voice'. It starts distorting your identity as a person, then depression hits, etc. etc."

Any artist who has been oppressed knows what I'm talking about (How can a genius create if everything is taken away from him...?). But this can apply to anybody really.

Anyway, I realized that this was pretty interesting that this type of thing is cross-chronological. The problems of 100 years ago are still problems today, just with different technology. This leads me to believe that this type of problem relates to or is Truth (because Truth is constant).

Okay, well, I'm running low on time, so here's the gist:

1.) Then I realized, that in a way, we're all connected and the Truth is what binds us together through the memories or artifacts of the past...

2.) Just like an artist's drawing is an artifact of his subconscious, literature can be seen as a record of society's social subconscious...

3.) The 'past' exists via artifacts and memories. w/out literature or other recording medium we are doomed to repeat that which doesn't exist...

4.) In a way, art is like a vessel for the 'discoveries' of Truth. it carries them through non-existent time, allowing them to continue to exist...

5.) Artists before us left the Truth in their works, like an eternal part of them that allows us to realize, society was and is not wholly alone...

6.) So in a way, Virginia Woolf, and artists like her, continues to exist (abstractly, but still) today through her artifacts and works.

So, an important thing to think about is that the Truth is bigger than any physicality, than anything that ever exists in the material, because it is constant, it never changes, and it will continue to exist far after it is realized or discovered and even after it can't be realized any more. The Truth is something more powerful than the purpose of the legacy of man, which some may argue is to be forever remembered...