The ThinkGeek Newsletter!

Mind the gap, monkeys.

For safety and comfort, readers of this newsletter should be in good health, and free from heart, back, or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by high-speed awesomeness. To ensure the safe performance of all authorized activities, do not destroy vital testing apparatuses.

Today's testing apparatus is the Grab Bag. What is it testing? If we told you, it would ruin the science.

What's New at ThinkGeek!

When decisions need to be made, sometimes there isn't a right choice. Drink coffee or tea? Hire Bob or Bob? Order pizza or Chinese? In the long run, these things don't matter. Give up your free will to Schrödinger's Cat. Ask your question, slide open the window, and observe his fate... and yours. How does it work, you ask? For starters, we assure you that no real kittehs were harmed, only magical quantum kittehs. The rest... well, it's magic!Schrödinger's Cat Executive Decision Maker - Obey the kitty

There comes a time in a Portal 2 fan's life when they must choose: Companion Cube or Wheatley. The cuddly Companion Cube construct is comfortable keeping keys company and wants nothing more than to be as close to you as possible. Meanwhile, Wheatley is hilarious but may one day steal all of your keys and attempt to drive your car. Make your choice, Test Subject, but remember: it says a lot about your character and it will go in your record, right next to that bit about how you look in orange.Portal 2 Keychains - Choose: Pure Love or Pure Evil

So, after all the fighting, what happens to all the lightsabers of the fallen? They get recycled, that's what! And what better way to recycle the coolest technology in the land than by turning it into a line of lamps! That's exactly what the Empire did. But in our galaxy where lightsabers aren't real (yet!), Lightsaber Lamps are fantastic. What better way to show your love of Star Wars and not hitting your toes in the dark? Just add your own bulb and electricity. Think about it--you could have a dark (side) lamp. How ironic is that?Star Wars Lightsaber Desk Lamp - Illuminate with the Force

This cast metal ring is made of lightweight aluminum with an aged bronze finish. The ring itself is a conversation starter, but when you start showing off the features--that's when you'll become the belle or beau of the steampunk ball. The two lenses fold out and then slide apart, forming a small telescope. Prefer to examine things closer to you? The large lens doubles as a magnifying glass. This amazing contraption comes in a tin suitable for gifting to that person in your life who loves magnificent gadgets and the color brown. Capt. Jules' Extraordinary Telescope Ring - Portable perspicillum

Chefs all over the world are turning dinner into science experiments, using thickeners, gels, and foaming agents to turn the world of high-cuisine on its ear! ThinkGeek has been providing budding molecular gastronauts with kits that can get you started, too, but where can you go from there? Our advanced kit gives you the same tools as our starter kits, but lots more chemicals to start with. And if you run out, you can pick up our new refills and crank out more caviar, spaghetti, and foam than Paula Deen has donuts.Molecular Cuisine Advanced Kit - Step up your cooking game

In a sea of Guy Fawkes masks, how do you show off your unique sense of style? Simple. You put on a Horse Head Mask. The Horse Head Mask fully covers your head and hair, giving you the ability to leave most of your humanity behind. As your partially equine self, the opportunities for fun are endless. Put it on in the morning and nuzzle your partner awake. Wear it around the office to assess how many people are really 100% focused on work. Need to take public transportation? Wearing The Horse Head Mask all but guarantees you get two seats to yourself for the entire ride.The Horse Head mask - Move over, Guy Fawkes

Fans of DC Comics and Star Wars, start limbering up your building fingers. We've just launched five new LEGO sets that you're going to love. For our comic book nerds, we have two epic battles: one between Batman and Catwoman (on her Catcycle!) and the other between Superman and Power Armor Lex Luthor (with bonus Wonder Woman!). Star Wars fans can get their hands on R2 and C-3PO minifigs in the Droid Escape set or build ships with the TIE Fighter or TIE Interceptor & Death Star sets. And this is just the beginning. Keep your eyes peeled for more LEGO products coming soon. Happy building, LEGO fans.LEGO, LEGO, LEGO - 5 new LEGO sets and more to come

There once was a brass-colored simian who enjoyed building things with his monkey paws. Unfortunately, he did not have much room in his habitat for a workshop, so he came up with this solution: the Brass Monkey multi-tool to rule them all. This hammer has a solid brass handle that houses four--yes, four!-- different screwdrivers. Inside you'll find two large Phillips style blades and two small straight ones, the smallest being suitable for eyeglass repair. And should your eyeglasses be beyond repair, you can always smash them with the iron hammer head.GAM Hammer - Brass monkey, you buildin' monkey!

Once the zombies really begin their attacks, crime scene tapes just won't be enough. We'll need them to be more descriptive. Lucky for us, the future is here--the future of warning tapes, that is. Bad virus sample spill? Use the Biohazard tape. Virus spill turns a town into bunch of zombies? Well, then go with the Zombie tape. Full-fledged apocalypse breaks out? Use both and help warn all the survivors! Mayonnaise left in office fridge for 2 years and is now asking people for dating tips? Just run.Biohazard and Zombie Crime Scene Tape - Warnings ahead

Drinking coffee one cup at a time is for amateurs. Here at TG HQ, we prefer to drink 20 cups of coffee at once. Finding a coffee delivery system to handle this proclivity, though, has been difficult--until now! Sure, it weighs over 10 lbs without anything in it, but that just means free arm exercise. And, really, if you drink 20 cups of coffee, you'll have to burn it off somehow. As a free added bonus, the World's Largest Coffee Cup can also double as a chamber pot. You're gonna need it after 20 cups of coffee.World's Largest Coffee Cup - 20 cups of java in one!

If you're looking for a simple and elegant tripod mount for your iPhone 4 or 4S, look no further. The Glif has countless uses, yet is still small enough to slip into a pocket. Mount your iPhone to the tripod of your choosing to take perfectly-focused photos or make movies. Use the Glif on its own for hands-free FaceTime or to catch up on episodes of My Drunk Kitchen. The recyclable rubberized plastic hugs your iPhone securely, allowing you to get creative wherever your travels take you.Glif Tripod Mount & Stand For iPhone - Amazing photos and videos

We have many fond childhood memories of field trips to the science museum; it was there that we put our hands all over science. The only down side was that we had limited funds for gift shop purchases. If your childhood lacked a gyroscope, it's time to make up for that oversight. The Precision Gyroscope features tiny ball bearings and near perfect balance, allowing it to spin for several minutes. Perform gravity-defying stunts and tricks with the power of science! Go on, think of us as the museum gift shop and get yourself that slice of childhood you missed.Precision Gyroscope - Science is always magical

If you'd like to recreate scenes from the Doctor Who episode The Rebel Flesh, you can with your very own Flesh Bowl Figure Creator. This set comes with a bio frame, Flesh compound, and all the tools you'll need to make a fleshy ganger of your own. All it takes is water, a bit of mixing, and the ability to overlook the sentience of another form of life. Easy-peasy! Doctor Who Flesh Bowl Figure Creator - Make your own Flesh

Jen, Kira, Aughra, the Skeksis, the Mystics, the Professor, and Mary Ann: all our favorite characters from The Dark Crystal appear on this limited edition pillow. It's beautiful and soft--almost like a movie poster came to rest on your couch. You'll be able to look at it, rest on it, close your eyes, and imagine all the adventures you went on alongside Jen and Kira in the land of Thra. Oh, and it's also a limited edition pillow-plush-thing, which means if you don't get it now, you might have to wait until the next Great Conjunction.Dark Crystal Plush Pillow - Limited Edition