This in turn strangely led me to thinking about very successful companies and individuals – top marketing, top entrepreneurs – and it’s a strange thought I admit it, but it occurred to me, criminals probably have an untapped wariness/eye equal to those of Entrepreneurs. Both are successful when they know the loopholes, the way people think, what people need and want, and how to exploit the market.

Just to balance those books, earlier today, on waking I was reading an article about entrepreneurs 8 Things Entrepreneurial People Do Differently – Huffington Post Now, the reason I say ‘balance the books’. I have been privileged enough to work for some very inspiringly people during my own very small contribution to the world of being an entrepreneur. I’m not raking in the millions and I don’t have that totally unique niche in the market, but, I do aspire to provide the very best service – one that looks at the client’s needs and not my own. One that responds in as many ways as possible to make others lives better – and this I am proud to say I continue within my life outside of work. I like to ‘serve’ and make others smile, it makes me feel accomplished and whole. These values I am sure were instilled in me by my parents and I thank them for that.

I am aware that I am adding a fair few links here relating to my thoughts, and I would urge you, if you have time to visit any, the above Huffington Post one I recommend. I would quote so many things from this if time permitted. I know these things to be true in the people I have admired in my business world. Maybe the strongest I want to bring out is the sense of inclusiveness and enabling services those at the very top reach out in spirit to others no matter their status. They want a better world for us as they know the generations that follow will succeed and grow through this inheritance to be all they can and look out equally for their fellow citizens in life. They will be inspired. Inspiration brings with it gratitude, comfort, strength, hope, teamwork, encouragement, and dare I say ‘love’? This is what I feel and see through their eyes. Yes, many are rich, but they don’t use this to bring others down. They use it to create wealth for all – many philanthropic acts are quiet but create huge opportunities, and I feel a sense of real gratitude for these people and how they use their own success.

Another thing that is key and again quoted in the article is that “they never stop learning” – they are open to new and old ideas and evolving. They scrutinise what works and what doesn’t work – I have to say I haven’t learnt to embrace failure yet but, these people turn failure into success. They move the goal posts, they change the team tactics.

Of course, there are some people who reach the top of the food chain via other methods, they are not criminals, but they are very clever on marketing techniques, reading the minds of the people and adding to wealth, they know how to exploit loopholes and evade taxes legitimately. They know how to use people to their best advantage ie increase their profit margin, reduce their overheads, do their ‘spin’. They offer ‘false promises’. They pull you in taking advantage of your disadvantage with words that make you think there is a ‘quick fix’. They don’t appear to have a ‘social conscience’.

In our political world, it’s quite easy to see this in action as well – so the next time you go to vote, bear this in mind – whether it be a Referendum as we in Europe face, or a top Presidential Election as our friends over the seas will soon see and are already making decisions towards. Will the people or yes/no decision you face make a better world for all at the end of the day? Are they offering you their responsible hand on heart stewardship or are they buying your frustrations and insecurity?

I know this is long, but my closing thoughts are on another article I read on our BBC News A look inside China’s first finishing school – BBC News I admit that the BBC lured me in with that wonderful photo they have of ‘The ‘polite’ way to eat an orange’. This had me smiling and I can honestly say I’m not sure I can look at an orange the same way ever again. All my life I’ve been doing it wrong! Although, I confess to knowing that wonderful skill of scouring the skin with a knife across the middle and then from top down in to four segments to make them very easy to peel.

Why am I sharing this? Surely finishing school is for the elite and a bit snobby? I believe not only in ‘serving’ but also in ‘elegance’. It does not hurt for a woman to know etiquette. Although, I think whilst it is important to keep eye contact with those you come through a door to, I would worry deeply about closing it behind me without looking. What if someone else was about to enter? So many times in shopping centres I’ve seen doors swung with no regard to who is behind. It doesn’t hurt to acknowledge a 360° awareness of your surroundings. And that 360° awareness applies to all aspects of your life. Do not close the door for others, because you failed to look behind you once you have successfully navigated your own way through.

What I like about this article is the sense of empowerment for women, as well as wanting to better their environment of being a wife, mother etc. “It’s about your character, and the feeling you give to others,” “You should make people feel you are confident – a person you can trust.” – these sort of statements tie in with leadership thoughts earlier on. Service and leadership go hand in hand.

My last thought was one of intrigue. I couldn’t help noticing at this school of elegance a white board. Now, I’d love to be a fly on the wall and know what they are teaching here? What I did notice in my fly’s eye is that there appears to be some awkwardness in the writing on the wall. Obama has a line drawn to Michelle, she is a woman in her own right and not shown to have a subservient status – but what about Mrs Trump? Wouldn’t she also be a woman worthy of equality and a first name? I leave you with a smile. You can make up your own mind on that one!

As to the title of my blog article – you never finish school, there is always something to be learnt! So continue to be open, continue to grow and continue to share your wisdom for the better of all mankind.

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

A business forum I belong to (Quora) allows people to post and answer questions. Some are amusing, some are very helpful/insightful and people are encouraged to use their expertise and experience to help others. I confess I haven’t visited it as often as I had hoped I would but have recently been taking the odd look.

The title to this article is based on a question I found there. I guess one of the first things we must ask ourselves is ‘what is considered success?’ To me it comes in several measures and it isn’t all financial, although many would argue, that’s the main reason we do what we do.

So, presuming ‘success’ can be related to any one of us, I thought it interesting to see how we can relate or put into action things in our lives that help us get the most out of our working/creative/living day.

I don’t know about you, but eating the above fella to me is not something I desire. One he is far too cute, and two, er. I’d rather not – frogs are an acquired taste, as I supposed ‘success’ can be!

I have to confess I haven’t heard of this term before – but as laid out in one of the answers

“In the morning, right after getting up, you complete the most unwanted task you can think of for that day (= the frog). Ideally you’ve defined this task in the evening of the previous day.

Completing an uncomfortable or difficult task not only moves it out of your way, but it gives you great energy because you get the feeling you’ve accomplished something worthwhile.”

The thought of doing ‘unwanted tasks’ often make me procrastinate. But I have mentioned making lists before and I can see I certainly have a few frogs that could be had for breakfast! I do know this also makes sense as I had a session of doing just this the other day, and completing just two ‘put off’ tasks before my working day did make me feel good. And work light-heartedly (some stress removal) and focused.

I’m interested though, what do you do to help you become in tune and ready for action?

Ever had days/weeks when absolutely everything you think you are getting on top of suddenly turns belly-up? You can start to feel panic and a creeping sense of how on earth can I change all this? When are things ever going to improve?

After your initial shock and disappointment, rational thought can start to transcend and a re look at all in front of you allows some alternative options to appear. The options you wanted to choose in the first place might have needed co-operation for them to work. If life’s route changes and these options have then to be disregarded, there is always something else, another way – it’s not always one step forward, two steps back. You can’t be one step forward if it wasn’t an absolute. And often the dancing happens because we cannot predict what lies ahead or how others will interact, or indeed how we will react, as much as we can try to plan.

Remember, you can’t really undo all the good you did, history doesn’t change, although it can easily be forgotten. Especially when it comes to our own self-esteem. You are still moving forward, even if right now, you feel you’re not in your own eyes.

So, bearing this in mind, instead of lacking faith in you, take a sideways step, you might even need to sit on a bench for a wee while. When feeling calmer, check the traffic – when you feel safe to cross or proceed, give yourself a break, breathe deep, move the goal posts, break up the task/fear and then, you may see the options you didn’t know were there because you were busily focused on the one direction.

Most of all, don’t punish yourself if things aren’t running smoothly, open your mind and thoughts to how you can sometimes take a scenic route and still get where you want to be at the end of the day, even if it takes a little longer. And likewise, when you reflect on scenic routes, remember that hidden cafe/view that suddenly appeared as you rounded the corner? Life is just like that. And you will find your hidden moments in these diversions you never intended to take but for a tree in the road, you needed to.

And so another school/college year opens after a rather sweet Summer. I am hoping you have all enjoyed plenty of sunshine wherever you are in the world. Now we get back down to business and learning.

For me, I’m going back to the Bowhill Flexible Learning Unit, right on my doorstep to brush up and learn new skills (Access). Last year I felt after all these years, my SHND in Secretarial Studies was a little outdated. A self-taught Microsoft Office user since 1998, long gone are the days of using an *electronic typewriter – software is amazing! Computers are amazing! What a great world we live in whereby we have such tools that take around 90% of the thinking out of what we do as we can now click buttons and voilà, instant calculation, spellcheck, etc. etc. No more carbon paper and Typex. Not that Typex was ever really allowed. Practice Perfection! Eye for detail. Dedication.

Even as I write, right now, above me I see a whole array of special ‘gifts’ to allow me to embolden, italicise, number, quote, left, centre or right adjust, link, change colour, and really handy just now, symbolize.

Where was I? Ah yes, it seemed right for me to put my self taught skills into practice and gain certification for doing the things I love to do. And so I gained my ECDL in Word, Excel, Powerpoint and Improving Productivity just studying 2 1/2 hours, 2 days per week last academic year. I enjoyed the small class, learning at my own rate, meeting new people, atmosphere. I do want to do the Advanced Level but sadly funding isn’t available and this course isn’t run anywhere in Fife, although, I now know where I can obtain the training materials to home study.

Now, I am not a morning person of a natural nature. I love my nights and can often be found working through them. I am at peace with the world and the phone doesn’t ring. So, getting up with my daughter for her induction day at college was a bit of a shock to the system. And my thinking head isn’t quite on.

At these points I have random images and sentences as I look out of my window sipping coffee on a sunny day. Today it was, “I can’t believe it’s not butter…” Nothing wrong with that? Only I wasn’t sure, should it be ‘it’s’ or does the butter belong to itself? I ask myself, a moment of self doubt. And indeed moments like that have me searching online to check, because I care.

So often I see the Grammar Nazis on Facebook, as they are endearingly termed pointing out mistakes, and mistooks ‘appen. I find mistakes funny, but of course professionally, it is important to write well, and proof read.

To me though, I never like a condescending attitude towards those who have problems with spelling and grammar. I believe in a world of communication and equality, and for whatever reasons people have, sometimes writing and spelling isn’t the best of their talents due to learning difficulties and missed opportunities, but they can tell a good story and run a business.

So today, for me, finding this website is something I want to share. Instead of pointing out how wrong it is when people get confused with its/it’s, they’re, their, and there, why not bookmark this page? Improve Your Writing. Here you will see the practice of ‘it’s and its’. To the left, a whole list of other examples and exercises to help understand when best to use words and how to correctly spell them.

Learning is fun! At any age. Playing, as I have said before, is vital, at any age. Put the two together and you have a relaxed way of taking in things that aren’t always easy to remember/grasp.

Two very important things – knowing the difference between sunk cost and restarting and changing the goals. Ie, not giving up on things you know matter and are achievable, but also paying attention to the time you take out of misplaced loyalty such as disciplining yourself to complete something you know will not achieve your maximum input or desired effect, but continuing … because you started.

I started with point number three I guess, because I realised, I’m very guilty of this. I would be the person in the cinema seat watching the whole film. I have such a grounding of how important money is, that it horrifies me the idea of just wasting it and getting up and walking out. But, I also know, and can see through reading this, that TIME is important. You do not get back time, but you could make more money.

Say I had two races to run, cross country, they are more of a practice run but I, rather not thinking straight, put my name on both lists. I know, I cannot gain a great placing with the first one, I took a bit of a wrong turning, and my trainer lace broke, making it a bit loose so I’m having to balance that trainer so it doesn’t fall off, and there are still a few miles to go with this, I’m plodding along at the tail end, and I know everyone else is home and dry. I want to finish, of course I do, but, what about that second one this afternoon? Wouldn’t I be better to conserve my energy and perhaps do better trying again later, and with a different approach? Not sure I’ve picked very good examples there but I’m thinking out loud.

I like to play – a lot. I do this to challenge my mental agility. I also find it a great de-stresser and a brilliant way to start focusing. I’m also guilty of picking games that can take a lot of time. I see my time on the ticker going down, and I know from previous attempts, that I can do better, go faster, spot changes better or be dealt a better deal with whatever it is I am doing. But, I am also aware again of my discipline to stay with it and complete the game at a slower time than I have managed before. Surely this is sunk cost, I need to refresh, and be more focused instead of tiring myself – feeling my spirit lower but gritting teeth in earnest, I will finish.

Going back to my race. If this was a marathon and I was raising money for good causes – then yes, finishing is important. But most things in life aren’t marathons, they are ideals where we are looking to maximise our achievement in the shortest amount of time and with the least amount of effort. That’s not to say drop the quality, but up the output. Feeling vulnerable to losing stops us from making good, clean cut decisions.

I found myself actually reflecting on successful friends, and I know, they don’t worry about changing the goals, they stop at the right time and restart. They are not only successful, they appear confident, happy, warm individuals, bringing leadership, encouragement and example into all they do.

This kind of makes me reflect on point number one. For many years, more than I wish to mention, being a lady, I kept with people who had probably totally the same viewpoints, same way of doing things, and the same lifestyles, I didn’t change any of that because I was fearful, I did things, because, you just did. I hit forty – okay, I’m not really that much of a lady – and suddenly, this wonderful thing called the ‘Internet’ happened. All of a sudden, social media allowed you to mix with people who did things differently, lived in different countries, had different cultures and upbringings. I love this. That example of ‘feeling vulnerable to losing’ also comes from allowing status to get in the way – the status YOU give yourself.

Looking at point eight and point one together, the stereo-typing of Jane and Linda, along with point six on the anchoring effect show me where I often go wrong again in my assumptions of how I see other people and how I think other people see me. I cloud myself with detail that isn’t there, or even if it is, is not important. That’s an interesting reflection that tied in with my class yesterday looking at how to present information and leaving out irrelevant other projects.

As you can see by this blog article, I’ve a long way to go with the presenting information – but – this is a rambling, so to speak.

The people I have met over the years have allowed me to see, it was not their attitude towards me, but MY attitude towards me that held me back. Not once have I met a successful person who has said to me, you can’t do it, more, they will see what I do, and correct me with enthusiasm, when I try to use my defeatist bent on them. ‘I am not invincible’, they say. That is all that was needed.

Yesterday, I announced to my friends on Facebook, that 01.02.2015 has me celebrating the entry of my 20th year of self-employment. I woke up to see my friend, Chris, had posed me a question as the above title. Hmm, good question, Chris, and one I am very happy to answer (and digress on slightly because I am proud of my 20 years personal growth). Only, forgive me if I do not waste time trying to work out precisely what percentage. I would have no use for this information at the end of the day.

So, back in 1995, I had two daughters, 7 and 5 respectfully. Up until that point, I was very much a lazy butt, I mean, *cough* full-time mother. I believed totally in being there for them, every minute and watching every single step in life they made. I involved myself actively in Toddlers (Toddlers Committee (Secretary)) Playgroup (Playgroup Committee (Secretary)) PTA (Secretary) Even at school, I voluntarily went in every single Friday morning (for the whole morning) to help a Teacher I got to know when my eldest started, by tying ties and tying shoelaces after gym, sitting with children who needed extra help during the daily dozen (maths and spelling tests). Sitting with children helping them with their reading, reading stories to the class (loved doing that – because I love children’s stories) whatever and wherever ‘teach’ felt she could use me.

In 1995, even when I started up, I continued many of these practices. We didn’t have home computers back then, we didn’t have internet. I had an electronic typewriter (daisywheels) and analogue transcription equipment. Everything was done with people coming to me having read my Yellow Pages entry in the big paper bound edition. It was great and I loved it.

In 1998, I bought my first home pc – 40Mb – yes, megabyte hard-drive. In 1999, I bought dial-up internet (expensive… slow). Towards the end of 1998/beg 99, I remember people being excited, reading over the net about time capsules etc. I decided, as a business, to put myself out there. I was still involved with my local school with all three children now there. Youngest in Nursery. I asked them how they would feel about having a book put together showcasing a piece of work from every single child who attended, including nursery? I told them, it would cost them nothing, they could sell it to fundraise, and give a percentage of the take to Rachel House and CHAS – Hospital for sick/terminally ill children – fairly local. I didn’t expect help. So, armed with my digital camera, and a permission slip from all parents that their child’s work could be included (this was near the start of data protection being tightened) I ventured into the school on an almost daily basis, scouring the corridors for beautiful displays of artwork, poetry, stories etc. Not everything could be photographed, Teachers gave me, pencil, handwritten stories and poems to be scanned. Even photographs taken on walls needed to be sized, skewed (only photographers get to hold their cameras immaculately) rotated etc. It was a mammoth task, and I only had Photodraw and Publisher (Office 97) back then, and Photoshop 5.5. I approached big companies to donate stuff. Hewlett Packard gave me the loan of a colour printer and tons and tons of toner cartridges, (they even finished off the job for me when I realised it was costing a bomb and only half way through?) There was a good chance even with me going as fast as I could, they might never get this printer back! They never charged me a penny for this. Tullis Paper donated special card to make the cover page – and HP donated even more special paper. I had a thermal binding machine and again I approached the makers to donate spines with clear perspex to complete this book. Now, I know it wasn’t like the ones you buy in the shops, but it also wasn’t a flimsy A5 stapled black and white effort. To me, it was beautiful. Sixty four pages with loads and loads of beautiful images, and yes, children’s handwriting. No way did I want to change this to typed text. There is beauty in our first attempts of forming words. I completed just in time for Christmas 2001 and stipulated that each book was to be sold at £10. Now, that sounds like a lot of money back then, and it was, but it was a lovely gift and memory for our community, and again, the money raised for charity and school funds. We raised approx. £800 for the school, no expenses and £48 to Rachel House on top – there was only 140 pupils in total in the whole school at that time. That to me, was my proudest moment.

Soo, onwards and upwards. In 2002, I moved house, and upgraded to broadband AOL that was not dial up! Corrrr. Still quite expensive to what we have now. I think I might have joined .net around that time – I honestly can’t remember. I loved that there were tech like people who loved playing with graphics (Photoshop comp.), where I learnt all my Photoshop skills! Those who talked about the ins and outs gubbings of the CPU – yes. I changed my first power supply by asking advice, taking photos of the inside casing, researching how to do it, posting on forums… using screwdrivers etc etc. Before that, I only ventured in to change a graphics card, memory and add sound cards. So, yeah, I played, but I also learned. I learned from .net magazine, how to do basic xhtml/css. The forums were invaluable, so that armed with my SAMS Teach Yourself in 24 hours… I built my first website. I got a huge amount of help from people like Dave and Sarah who gave their time helping others in display/coding etc. I played… and I learned. I now had a web presence. I spent time looking at the SEO forums and learnt a little about key words, important directories etc. I played and I learned.

At the same time I had joined Virtual Assistance forums – one on Yahoo, that gave me a vital networking place, helping me establish my skills and market them and often, if one of the more established members was overrun with a deadline and workload, they shared it, so, yes, income from networking on social media.

I joined Ecademy (now SunZu), LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, other working professional forums, you name it, I would be willing to explore it! On top of that, I’ve now joined quite a few online training courses, and am loving all the new skills I have gained from them, including now socially attending my local community centre and preparing for ECDL certification after being self-taught all these years. The internet absolutely is the key to so many avenues and opportunities.

As a self-employed person, it is purely like that, you are by yourself, almost 24/7. You work on your own on other people’s projects. There isn’t the office banter you get from group working. As I had moved and my children had grown up, I was alone. I don’t have any family – only one brother down in England. So, no support network. I turned to social media/forums to build myself company. I played, I learned, I acquired skills, I interacted, I became happy being alone.

By 2009, on a personal note, my family life was difficult and my family separated, even as early as 2001, there were difficulties I had no one to share with, and I kept everything to myself. However, I came online, and I had people I could call ‘friends’, who encouraged me, in my singing, my work, my coding, my designing, they gave me, a sense of being and a sense that I could turn to them for company, and they made me ‘laugh!’.

In 2013, I went through divorce and house-sale, and now, last year, I was back to having to set up again, advertise and market myself in a strange place. I am still isolated from physical friends, (probably my fault because I found it easier to live that way when my life was troubled, I didn’t want or have to burden anyone) but my online friends have been my inspiration.

I have always maintained, and people who know me from way back know, ‘the importance of play as an adult’. I stay with that. We absolutely do need time out to have fun.

As a self-employed person, hours are not restricted to 9-5, we can work whenever is best – for me, that’s often through the night.

My routine? I always, always time everything I do, even when task orientated (not on per hour payment – I also break down hours to minutes). If someone is paying me, they only pay for their work. At the beginning of my work, I note the time. If the phone rings, I note the time of the phone ringing. I then at the end of the call, note the time I recommence. If I go to make a cup of coffee, same again. Nobody is charged for my coffee drinking, online playing or anything like that. In an office people constantly put the kettle on and drink by their machines… all out of their employer’s pocket. They also use social media. If my phone rings, I don’t time the call or work it into my costs to clients, I don’t even charge for the time they come and visit me if they have to – I should do!

In summary, I probably spend a lot of time online using social media but none of it wasted, all of it, to my own personal wellbeing and benefit. Here’s to 20 years and 2015, my first post of the year and lots of interaction worldwide! Yes, from using social media and the internet – I work and am willing to work with you nationally and internationally as well as locally on my doorstep.

I hope you have all been enjoying the wonderful Summer we have had here in the UK, and for Scotland, remarkable dry weather up until a few days ago.

I was lucky enough to take a week away with my girls, down in London and take in the bustling, big city and the incredible Underground system. Included in my trip I saw a musical (Prince of Wales Theatre) – The Book of Mormon; Film Museum, (Covent Gardens) – 007 Bond in Motion and The Science Museum in South Kensington – wow, so big, you could spend all day in there alone; Madame Tussauds; Chinatown along with the Hyper Japan Event at Earl’s Court, and Henri Matisse – Cut Outs at the Tate. Loved this, still on till 7th September if you want to catch it.

Now we are home to the full swing of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. I always look forward to this event, so much talent. Edinburgh becomes alive with colourful Street Performers, Crafts, Shows and of course, a little traditional rain. I’m hoping to take a day trip soon to soak up the atmosphere. I already have a ticket to see the wonderfully talented Richard Thompson, can’t wait.

Anyhow, along with all the fun, comes the ‘back to the drawing board’, mindset. I do hope many of you are taking part in this new trend: Desk Safari Selfies . This has to be one of the safest ways to be crazy yet. I’m really tempted, but not quite slim enough to squeeze into the 1cm gap between the back of my desk and the wall. I suppose I could pull out the swivel desk sitting directly under?

I digress, to stop you being inundated with my animalistic moments, (I just thought of a way to engineer this) why not take advantage of my other wild side. I’m offering over a limited period (August) 20% off, yes, you heard me 20% off all Audio Transcription. Hurry, space is limited, just like my desk.

Ps. If you do decide to take an Animal Safari Selfie, please share it in the comments on my Facebook Page under this post. There’s nothing more wonderful than sharing a smile!

This day in history…20th July, 1969,
“At 10:56 p.m. EDT, American astronaut Neil Armstrong, 240,000 miles from Earth, speaks these words to more than a billion people listening at home:
“That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”

Stepping off the lunar landing module Eagle, Armstrong became the first human to walk on the surface of the moon.”

However, Snopes, reports that Neil, his one incredible opportunity, which, incidentally I grew up believing he just came out with it, flubs his well rehearsed opening one liner.

In my mind when I was looking at events in history or in the present moment to inspire my writing today, as I take ‘one small step back’ into ‘business life’ and joining in, and I focused in on this, and I remembered watching with my family and thinking, wow, 240,000 miles from Earth and we can receive a transmission… wow, human beings travelled that distance and landed on my moon, they survived, they flew that thing! This is incredible. So many things, other than, did he get it right?

Now I wonder, how many hours did he sit there thinking, must get this right, I’m on soon, this is my moment to impress the world, this is MY moment, where’s my business card? Did we forget to bring the flag? (No pressure, Neil!)

It would be really wonderful if we saw the likes of something as significant and awe inspiring as the Moon landing in our history again. But let’s bring it down to a local level. Each and every day we as individuals are given opportunities to make ‘one small step’, and I’m pretty sure, I’m much like any of you, wanting to rehearse and get it right. At the end of the day though, I miss many opportunities because of this need to be perfect, I simply end up turning back round and walking away. Now, I guess, Neil couldn’t really do that. Well, I suppose he could have bottled out and said, Buzz, you do it, I’ve got stage fright. Nahhh. What’s important is that Neil, went down those steps to enjoy the first walk on the moon and say what he did.

I know if it were me, I’d be busy making sure my hair was just right (for me – it’s never right, as in ‘just right’). I’d be tottering on those steps scared I’d fall off, like a catwalk model just doing the final twirl and awkwardly falling over the side of my badly placed heel. I’d probably want to take a ‘selfie’ and post it on Facebook. What would I say? I’d probably cry a little, giggle a lot, definitely want to say something so astounding I could see heads nodding in approval, and more than likely I’d just say. Wow, gosh, oh my! And I’d definitely be ‘miffed’ I forgot to sing a song.

So as I sit here today, supposed to be thinking about, how do I sell myself to you? I am instead thinking, here I am, hello again, I hope today brings you good moments, small steps and a sense of opportunity around every corner. No rehearsing necessary.

By the way, I’d love to help you out on that journey, whether it be providing you with a CV, typing your first novel, audio transcribing your interviews/conferences, updating your website/blog/Facebook presence, phoning your prospective clients and booking an appointment, maintaining a diary, emailing on your behalf and so many other services, please, do get in touch.

I have now relocated to Cardenden, I am still able to provide you with the very best service, remotely worldwide, and within Fife/Edinburgh region for as many or as little hours as you require. Please check out my new website, Secfinder.com, this is my Small Step. I will now be expanding the Business Card Web Directory to Fife rather than only Dunfermline (It’s still very much a project in hand that got put on the back burner while life showed me how to become an expert trapeze artist juggling eggs with one hand tied behind my back – no, I’m sorry, you can’t hire me to do this for you). If you wish to include your Business Card, again, please get in touch.

I look forward to many new ventures from the beginning of August and will be updating this page with offers from time to time.

This was my status yesterday, out of waking from a hugely intensive dream! And, a pondering on two nights prior when I received this message in the wee hours of the morning and Google Chrome gave up the ghost.

The Dream…

It was a cross between Indiana Jones, Lord of the Rings and Alice In Wonderland, if you may.

Once again, I wake up late and tired, daughter is getting herself ready for her new school (the old one I went to) she’s running late and telling me I’m useless – she looks like someone I know, but she’s not my daughter – she’s a teacher, masquerading.

I pull myself together and follow her out the door, concerned as she’s never been this way before, it’s a long walk and I want to make sure she is alright… she walks too fast.

Soon it is apparent that she’s taken another route from what I would do, and I feel very lost when I try to catch her up… the trees cover the pathway shading the light overhead. I am so aware of being late. I see a bus and stop it and get on. As I do so, it dawns on me that actually, we’re not far from the school, just ahead of it, and I don’t really want to be on this bus. I paid £1.53 as well! And I get off at the next stop and try to backtrack. I see my daughter up ahead. The white railings of a tall modern comprehensive school’s gates… teenagers playing football in an adjoining park.

I’m not quite sure what happens next, but suddenly… we are together – with my other daughter and diverted. It is as though we are at the top of tall pine trees and we see this massive iced white cake. A sort of art exhibition – marked “New World”, and we enter… we are walking for miles, we have somehow missed the school and end up way over by the hills, but by the sea. It is quaint, and quiet, I feel sure I’ve been this way in a dream before. The buildings are those you’d expect in a small fishing village, craft shops, flowers, feelings of touristy attractions in their windows beckoning us in.

There is a highway – that’s not right! We try to look at road signs that might lead us back to where we want to be, but, they are names of places we’ve never heard of, and we’ve no idea where we are now…

We turn round and climb some steps (you have to almost crawl as there is very little headroom) and at the top, there are huge rocks with barnacles on them, sort of more like bells, dark black – and they sing, and the people (men) sing with them, a sort of hum in honour of these spectacular monuments of time.

We turn and go up some stone steps. It is like a mini supermarket – craft shopping mall – very, very different from anything I’ve ever entered before in my life – it is underground. Beautiful clothes of a different age or time, one that we haven’t yet met, not the past. Up the stairs there is this large mannequin type doll person, who ‘watches’ us. Her head turns slowly and she says nothing, but she feels my tension and unsurety, and she nods in a disagreeing, warning but agreeing way, as if to say, no, you are right, don’t go there.

We enter a room, and it is slightly dark, in the shadows, waxwork grannies jump out and come alive, pointing and hushing us, as we pass quickly, further – knitted animals do the same. It was very frightening and we can’t wait to get out again.

Sarah says we should go up this ladder – iron rope steps. I am unsure about this, it doesn’t feel like a place the public are meant to go. We go anyhow. Up the top the iron ropes change to tie-dyed, weaved ladders like the kind that cross a gorge – not too much between you and the end of the world. I feel myself fall, I see nothing under my feet, but I land on what is now, tyres upright – a new path. Someone near me tells me not to worry, we are still on the aeroplane, remember? We cannot get hurt, we cannot fall, we are safe, it is all an illusion. But, I’m grabbing another rope and manage to get myself up safe.

Terrified, I realise, I have lost my daughters. I may never see them again, but I’m clinging onto the man’s words of it all being an illusion and we will get back together. There are lots of people on this journey – all going in different directions. The path keeps changing – it becomes a plum velvet carpet with tables and teapots – we are on an elevator going up – somewhere? It turns into wood again – bare brown trees. I look at my mobile, and see it is asking me to play games I’ve never heard of, and the people around me, laugh with me. Then it dawns on us that I could try and contact my daughters with my phone? Not to give up hope. I still feel panic that we will never be reunited, we feel so far away from each other, not just distance but years.

I never got to the top of the elevator. I woke! Shaken and my arm hurt. It was good to realise I had been dreaming, but still, very scary.

The Logic…

1) The wandering around in strange places that are quaint – the day before I’d talked with friends about places in Scotland, Menstrie, Pitlochry…

2) The cake, exhibition and the weird, vivid colours… I’d been sorting books, very, very quickly. Art books, massive – full of Surrealistic images – I flicked the pages very fast…

3) The elevator with the plum carpet and tables set with white table cloth and teapots? The wedding I am planning to go to.

4) Feelings of being lost and on a journey – the holiday I plan to take, familiar places down South where I went to school…

5) The scary mannequin doll person? Johanna had been telling me about the new XBox with the camera, you can never switch off as the console will not work without it on, Big Brother action.

There are many, many other associations I could probably come up with connecting my ‘awake’ moments with my ‘asleep’ moments – the state of dream.

I think one of the most important one’s for me though was the reassurance from a stranger that, no matter what happens, I cannot get hurt – I am on a steady journey. It is true with my actual life, I am going through so many changes all at once, so many that it is hard to manage time and know how to focus. BUT… it will turn out all right. Nothing I go through with all this will harm me, the plane is still on track, but taking a scenic route.

The dream is just my brain – much like my computer – and I was just – out of system resources, temporarily. I needed to defragment myself, and put all my files in order – so that I could find them again when needed. There is a danger of burnout, and maybe I do need more ram, I am a bit outdated! 😀

Again, a day late – this is day two of my blog exercise. “Write a list post?”