Parenting is about so much more than diapers, bandaids, homework and curfews. Parenting is being there; listening, talking, forgiving, asking forgiveness and most of all, loving. I know this to be true because Momma D says it is.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

The movie, October Sky,
is the true story of how NASA Engineer, Homer Hickam, and his friends rocketed
their way out of the coal mining town they were raised in, to fulfilling,
successful lives.

Unfortunately Homer’s father, John Hickam, did not understand
why Homer didn’t want to follow in his footsteps by working in the mine…to the
point of being harsh and unkind . At one point in the movie, John Hickam, makes
a derogatory remark to Homer about the fact that he (Homer) did not recognize
famous rocket scientist, Werner Von Braun, when Von Braun shook Homer’s hand at
a science fair. In an attempt to prove to Homer how senseless his dreams were,
he says, “I heard you met your hero, Warner Von Braun, and didn’t even know
it.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Homer replied, “Warner Von
Braun is a great man, dad, but he’s not my hero.” The obvious insinuation being
that Homer’s hero was his dad.

But then, most parents are heroes in the eyes of their
children...

Zach started following
John around about the time he could walk. In looking up to his dad he developed
an excellent work ethic he still has today as well as some valuable skills. And
while in some ways they are alike in how they use these skills, in many other
ways Zach uses what he learned from John in entirely different ways. But that’s
the way it should be and it’s just fine.

The same can be said about Elizabeth, Olivia and Emma. Now
that they all have a child of their own, I can see there are things they do
just the way I did it for them. But because they all have different
personalities there are things they each do differently than I did. And you
know what, that’s just fine, too.

Being your child’s hero is about being someone they can look
up to and someone they know they can count on to accept them for who they
are—even when they aren’t exactly like you. It's not always easy and it doesn't always come without a certain amount of turmoil, but don't most aspects of parenting?

John Hickam was a hero and didn’t even know it. He couldn’t
see it because he didn’t see what he wanted to see. Can the same be said about
you? I hope not.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

When you have children in the house you can be sure there will be accidents; spills, breaks, stains and any number of other ‘methods’
of turning something new or special into something new or special with a little
added ‘character’. That’s life and there’s not really anything you can do to
stop it. But what you can do is let
your children know that you understand accidents are just that—accidents and that
nothing you own is more important than they are.

Extending this kind of grace is comforting and reassuring to
a child. I know this is true because my Granny was the best at it…

One Friday evening when I was five, Granny came home from
the grocery store with three things I thought were the best treats anyone could
ask for: potato chips, French onion dip and a new orange wool blanket with the
satin edging around it. Wow!

The chips and dip were great, but that blanket…. All we had
were hand-made quilts and I thought that blanket was the prettiest thing I’d
ever seen. NOTE: Thankfully I’m a lot smarter now and appreciate the beauty of
those quilts.

Later on in the evening I had a bowl of chips and dip and was
then tucked into bed with that glorious orange blanket wrapped around me. A few
hours later, however, I woke up not feeling very well. Too much of a good
thing, I guess. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say the orange blanket
wasn’t very pretty anymore. I was heartbroken. I’d ruined Granny’s brand-new
blanket. I remember crying and repeatedly telling her how sorry I was. But in
true Granny-fashion, she just cleaned me up and said, “There’s nothing to be
sorry about. It’s just a blanket. It will wash. So don’t cry, just come sit
with me so I can make sure you are
alright.” Then she gave me a kiss and held me on her lap for a while before
tucking me back into a clean bed for the rest of the night.

Now I know that may not seem like much to some people, but
to five year-old me that was the ultimate display of love; for Granny to care
more about me than she did about a brand new blanket.

Forty-seven years later I still have that orange blanket. When
Granny died almost two years ago, it was one of the few things I needed to keep
as I prepared to sell her things. The satin edging is long gone and it’s been
washed more times than I can count. But looking at that blanket reminds me that
it is both an honor and responsibility to extend to our children the same grace
God gives us and to let them know they are more valuable than all the blankets (or
anything else) in the world.

How about your children? Do your children know they are your
greatest treasure? Does your love reflect an attitude that says things can be
washed, mended or replaced…but that they can’t?

Thursday, May 15, 2014

When you live on a farm, animals are naturally a big part of
your life—both in and out of the barn. What’s more, with four children, you can
be sure the number of animals (aka pets) is going to be a big one. Hoppy was
counted in this very big number...

One afternoon Elizabeth and Olivia went to the pond to
collect tadpoles in a bucket, but when I saw them coming toward the house,
their excitement level was a lot higher than what tadpoles called for. I was right.

Inside the bucket was
a bullfrog—a really big bullfrog. I’m
talking several pounds big. Olivia was ecstatic. She’d caught him with her own
two little hands and couldn’t wait to set up a little home for him…in her room.
Yep, that’s right—Hoppy the huge bullfrog was coming inside.

After giving strict instructions as to what would and wouldn’t
be allowed, I went on about my business and left the girls to creating their
frog oasis. Somehow, though, during the transfer from the bucket to said oasis,
Hoppy hopped right out of Olivia’s hands. Olivia didn’t know whether to laugh
or cry. All she could do was watch while I
hopped after Hoppy. And let me tell you, that frog could jump!

Once he was safely secured, I made the executive decision
that Hoppy would be living outside on the patio. No argument was made. For the
next couple of days Olivia carefully tended to her new ‘pet. But it didn’t take her
long to realize that Hoppy wasn’t very hoppy anymore…or happy. So
being the wise little animal lover she was, she returned Hoppy to his real
home from where we heard him often.

Some of you might think I was crazy for ever letting Hoppy
into our lives (much less our home). But before you pronounce ‘sentence’ think
about this: in letting Olivia have her “Hoppy adventure”, she and her siblings
learned some important lessons. They learned:

1 That not all animals are destined to be pets.

2.That loving something or someone means you do
what’s best for them instead of making their own selfish desires the focal
point of it all.

3.A nurturing, safe and healthy environment is
essential for happiness.

4.That bullfrogs can jump higher than they (the kids) were
tall.

Olivia's love for animals was a great help on the farm throughout her growing-up years

As a parent, you need to remember these same lessons. You
need to remember that your children need to be provided a safe, loving, healthy
environment; one that allows them to grow and develop according to who they are. Don’t stifle them or put them
in a ‘cage’ of conformity. Love and nurture them in such a way that they aren't afraid to hop as high as
they want to in order to become who they are meant to be.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

This has been a blessed week for our family. Early Tuesday
morning John and I welcomed our 5th grandchild, Esther Kathleen, into our
family. It’s hard to believe our baby
girl is now a momma, but in watching Emma and Dwight love and care for their sweet baby
girl, I know she’s in great hands.

I am fortunate enough to be able to be spending this special time
with Emma, Dwight and Esther. And throughout the course of these last few days
I am continually drawn to these thoughts:

Cherish your children. No child asks to be born.
They have no say in who brings them into this world. If for this reason only,
every child deserves to be cherished and cared for as if they are the most
important person on earth by the ones they call Mom and Dad.

Don’t take your children for granted. Two doors
down from Emma and Dwight’s room were a mommy and daddy who will be leaving the
hospital with empty arms because their baby was stillborn. Babies are God’s
greatest miracle. Even on the not-so-easy days we need to appreciate the cries,
smiles, colic, dirty diapers, sleepless nights, fingers wrapped tightly around
yours and the sounds of contentment.

Give thanks for life. Minutes after Esther was
born I heard Dwight thank Emma for their daughter. At that moment I immediately recalled those
first moments after I gave birth the first time—to our son, Zach. I can still see
the smile and happy tears on John’s face as he kissed me and said, over and
over, “Thank you, thank you so much.” Sometimes we get too busy living life to
appreciate it. Don’t let this happen to you—especially when it comes to
enjoying your children.

And finally…

Hannah should be the model for all mothers (1st
Samuel 1:21 through 2:11). Hannah understood that children are a gift from God;
a gift we are to share back with him. I am thankful my children understand this
when it comes to raising my grandchildren. I am especially thankful that on
this Mother’s Day I will be able to witness Emma and Dwight dedicating Esther to
God before their church family and themselves to being the parents God desires
them to be.

Each year on Mother’s Day cards are signed, flowers are sent, dinners are cooked and gifts are given.While I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, I’ve been reminded this week that being a mom is the gift and that there is absolutely nothing I could receive
that could top the honor and blessing God has given me in being a mom and
nanna.

Friday, May 2, 2014

My granddaughter, Mackenzie, started forming sentences by
the time she was about 18 months old. Among her favorite words to say was “I
need…” She never wanted anything but she needed everything.

I’m not quite sure how Mackenzie learned at such a young age
that needing something carries a lot more weight than just wanting something,
but she did; leaving us with the ‘job’ of helping her learn the difference
between needs and wants. It wasn’t usually too difficult to do, but one day her
need/want lesson was especially funny--to her grandpa and I…

John, a state law-enforcement officer, had just gotten off
work and was in our bedroom removing all the required gear from his uniform and
putting it away. Mackenzie, who was almost 2 at the time, and I were sitting on
the bed telling him about our day. Mackenzie, however, decided jumping on the
bed was more fun –until I made her stop by holding her on my lap.

Luckily (or not) for Mackenzie, the dryer buzzer went off
and I left her with John while I went downstairs to retrieve the laundry. This
was the chance she’d been waiting for…or in Mackenzie’s case, needing.

As soon as I was out of the room, Mackenzie shot up like a
rocket and started jumping on the bed again. John told her to stop. She kept
jumping. John told her to stop again. She didn’t. John swatted her on the
behind, sat her down on the bed and told her there would be no more jumping.
Instantly her little lips started quivering and in a shaky little voice that
was trying to choke back the tears, she said,

“I think I need to speak to my nanna,”

Knowing he couldn’t laugh, John kept it together and said, “Nanna
is doing the laundry, so I’m all you’ve got. But what you need is to quit jumping on the bed like we told you to.”

As parents you NEED to teach your children the difference
between wants and needs. Teach them that needs
make life possible, while wants
are things that aren’t necessary…just nice to have.

As parents you NEED to teach your children that they can
thrive (not merely survive) without the latest and greatest in tech gadgets, toys,
activities, clothes and other stuff. They need to understand that having those
things isn’t wrong, per se, but only if and when they have earned the privilege
of having them.

Teaching your children the difference between wants and
needs is a matter of the heart. It is something you will do by example—by living
within your financial means and by knowing and appreciating the difference
between needs and wants yourself.

Your children will know the difference between needs and
wants when you hold them responsible for their actions, expect them to do
chores because families work together for the good of everyone and when they
are taught that it’s not what you
have, but who you have in life that
matters.

Mackenzie is now 5 and I am proud to say that she now has a
firm grasp on the difference between needs and wants and that her beautiful
smile comes from her heart as much or more as from the fact that she just
happens to be absolutely beautiful. And I’m not just saying that because I’m
Nanna.

About Me

Hi! Thanks for stopping by. As an author/writer, I spend much of my time putting words on paper (both the real and virtual kind) in hopes that you will read them...be encouraged by them...and become a better person for having read what I write.

Nonfiction is generally my 'gig' and storytelling is how I do it best. When you read what I write you will feel as if you are talking with a trusted friend.

In addition to writing my own 'stuff', I offer reasonable freelancing and ghostwriting services. The work is top-notch and the rates are as reasonable as they come.

I am also available for speaking/teaching at Christian women's and/or teen events, retreats, camps and so on. Hey, what can I say...I like talking about Jesus!