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Kid Quotes (1/11)

B: Hey, Mama, after I drink this, I’m going to watch something with you.
Me: Okay. What do you want to watch?
B: I don’t know.
Me: Well, you think about it and let me know.
B: Okay, but it’s going to be hard to think while drinking.
Me: It often is, son.

We were discussing Christmas wishlists. Jack wants a new laptop. [Spoiler: He isn’t getting a laptop.] He found one that is $570.
B: Why would you want to spend that money on a computer when you could get the Lego Death Star set?

I had Jack send his dad links to the two laptops he’d found (because they won’t be coming from *this* Santa this year). Dad sent him an email back asking him to call him. They’ve been on the phone a while. Blake wants to talk to Daddy, too.
Blake: Jack won’t let me talk to Daddy!
Me: Hang on. Let them finish. Jack will give you the phone when Daddy’s through talking.
Blake: But Daddy never stops talking!

B: Why is my top bun too small?
Me: It’s been that way since the beginning of hamburgers.
J: It never happens to mine.
B: You’re delusional.

B: I don’t like the old Mickey Mouse…I don’t like the new one either.

Me: So what makes Gumball’s world so amazing?
B: It’s not. That’s just what it’s called.
Me: Why is it called that if the world’s not amazing?
B, after several false starts: *big sigh* You know, I’m not sure myself.

The boys were arguing over which order to watch the Star Wars movies.
B: you have to watch the prequels first! Mama, you need to slap around Jack!
Violent little geeks they are.

B: I’m sad at Daddy.

B: I don’t know why Spongebob needs a bath. He lives in the ocean.

We were worried that Blake had strep, and of course it was in the middle of the holiday weekend. I tried Urgent Care, but it was full of flu patients and they weren’t accepting any more patients that day, so I had to take him to the ER.
B has some sensory issues and while he can tolerate the medical wristbands, he’s not fond of them. He kept asking if he could take it off. Once he asked while the doctor was in the room.
Me: No, you have to keep it on until we leave. (to the doctor) He has some sensory issues.
Dr: I understand. So do I. (to Blake) You should grow a mustache. That’ll help you get over the sensitivity.
B: My brother says he has a mustache.
Dr: He does? How old is your brother?
B: He’s thirteen. But I can only see one hair.