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It may be the smallest, it may be the tallest
It may be the fastest that there has ever been
The highest, the deepest, the road that's the steepest
The longest and widest the world has ever seen

There are many kinds of records, serious or odd
Running jumping lifting weights, or catching fish like cod
If you can think of something new and put it to the test
Maybe you could be the one who's better then the rest

It may be the smallest, it may be the tallest
It may be the fastest that there has ever been
The highest, the deepest, the road that's the steepest
The longest and widest the world has ever seen

If you sit inside a bath up to your neck in beans
Or walk about with seven people all inside your jeans
Stand up on the highest pair of stilts and run a mile
Or on your face for two whole weeks you always wear a smile

It may be the smallest, it may be the tallest
It may be the fastest that there has ever been
The highest, the deepest, the road that's the steepest
The longest and widest the world has ever seen

I think my sister holds the record talking on the phone
I think I'll go and beat the time around the world alone
I could cycle, ride a horse or do it on my hands
Maybe there's a record for stretching rubber bands

It may be the smallest, it may be the tallest
It may be the fastest that there has ever been
The highest, the deepest, the road that's the steepest
The longest and widest the world has ever seen