Friday, March 18, 2011

The Fed-Ex Guy is a Sick Sadistic Fucker.

This coming very me, yes I am aware. There's not much about my life that's all too regular, including my sleep patterns and habits. Yes, I have heard it all... but my brain is stubborn and doesn't respond, in fact it has started to, alarmingly enough, even work while I sleep, not just as I am trying to fall asleep, many times unsuccessfully, but while I am sleeping it comes up with complete twisted scenes and I wake up going, ooohh, that was good, I'm going to have to shoot that. Now while this seems productive, I just want some quiet time in my head while I am sleeping, but constantly get bombarded by thoughts, people I would rather not see and work... and no, I refuse to take sleeping pills, it's just not natural. I have read that highly creative people have a lot of nightmares, if that is the case, well then that's a lovely side effect because I have 3 or 4 a night with the ability to recall a fair amount of them upon waking. Anyway, back to my point... our Fed ex guys are typically very nice, but this last one a few days ago, the last time I was able to really sleep, was a complete dickhead. Now, let me explain what I deem acceptable. Take phone calls... call me once, then text me... I will respond, really, I will. There is a reason I am not picking up. Now call me twice one right after another, alright, but this is only acceptable on several terms... one, you're not sure if the first call went through, we've all been there... or two, you're a close friend or three it's an emergency... in which case, you now have carte blanche to call me to no end. Then every once in awhile you have the three time caller, in which case... it better be important, even if you are a close friend, because you are going to worry the fuck out of me, and I like my fuck right where it is, thank you very much... that or you are going to piss me off the fuck off and that just really won't be good for your health. Now, similarrules apply to ringing my doorbell, only they now become even stricter, because, if you know where I live, do not by any means abuse the privilege. I absolutely detest unannounced visitors. There is a list of about three friends who can do so and that's where it starts and ends. If you're a neighbor... go away, most likely you want something, I'm not answering the door, leave me alone, I have done more than enough for you already, plus you have my phone number so fucking call me first. Now if the house is burning down, no worries, I have a homemade rope ladder, just call 911 and me... carte blanche...but don't knock on my door. This is not the 90s, I don't care if you have a fruit basket, a fruit pie or you're just a fruitcake, just go away, I'm busy. So now, who does that leave... fed ex, repair and utilities, etc... all of those guys, who will usually after a knock or two just leave the package or a slip/bill on your door. This newbie, fucking fucker though, did not. There I was... all curled up in bed, sleeping soundly, well almost, and there's a knock, proceeded by a shit storm of knocking... very much the way a locked out drunk loved one would at 4am, because they're kind of allowed, it's like family law. Then he rings the doorbell, not just once, but a slew of repetitive ringing as though he was pumping a dozen bullets into someone's chest. Suffice to say, I woke up, in that way you do when you know there is no way on earth you are rolling over and falling back asleep. I was not a happy camper to say the least... and I have not really slept since. So, the Fed Ex guy is one sick sadistic fucker... because clearly the main car parking spaces were empty so on top of that, he is a sick sadistic stupid fucker. The world is falling apart, Noah and his magical ark have yet to appear and guys like this still get to walk around, with jobs, ringing doorbells, waking up poor innocent girls... and me. I love it when I hear people talking about how life isn't fair, because I am not sure why they ever thought it was or would be, did they get it in writing and notified, because really, where did that idea come from. Nothing that involves humans will ever be fair, it will always be tainted, have alterior motives and be biased. Yes, when your teacher told you that she/he didn't favor some of their students, they were lying. So clearly, it is anything but... duh.