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Monthly Archives: July 2005

Last night was Tony’s grad party.. it was insane. That is deff the drunkest I’ve ever been. It started so moderately.. just some smirnoff but then we had those test tube shots.. and those captain morgan shots.. and then all those cranberry and vodka drinks I kept ordering and by 11 I was beyond gone. I ended up throwing up my life away and I couldnt even stand… couldnt even crawl! I passed out in Nicky’s bed around 12 and woke up 6 this morning so confused. I don’t remember getting sick at all but every one says I was really the worst theyve seen. this is only my 2nd time getting sick. So today my injuries are this : Both knees black and blue, my nose is swollen from falling onto the bowl I was using, my right eye is horribly blood shot and under my eyes is black and blue, my lip is burnt though I dont know what from since I dont smoke.. and my shoulder is really sore. But it was so much fun!

“Um excuse me but there are little kids around” Screw you guy. Whatever.. good times.. and GREAT pictures

When I see a girl who I do not like, and who maybe is doing something I believe she shouldnt do and perhaps is stepping on my toes a little bit, I just get so catty and have this urge to just start shit. Sometimes I crave it. How bad is that? Well.. I just have this feeling that in August I’m going to get my fill and I’m going to be sick with it in about a second. I don’t really want problems honestly, but it’s more like if I see it I refuse to ignore and can’t ignore it. As soon as I get that taste in my mouth.. that “Ohh no she didn’t!” mentality, it’s too late. I’m already upset and I either start with her right then (i.e matts girl) or I just bottle it up and wait for the right moment, after shes done more and more.. and then when I see her, I already have this huge dislike for her. So if she tries to pursue any type of relationship, I can be nice.. but it’s like I’m really just waiting for that perfect moment. And if I never go off on her, I might instead try and make her jealous or I’ll be that extremely FAKE nice. This isn’t pretty, but it’s honest.

Okay, I’ve fallen head over heels. I never fall head over heels. It takes a hell of a lot for a guy to get me to feel even the slightest bit serious about him, let alone commit to him. But Jon’s different. We started off not expecting to ever fall for eachother the way we did. It was just for fun. But these past 3 1/2 months have really been a blesesing, because we’ve grown so close. And now, in only 3 weeks.. I’ll get to see him again and finally be with this great guy that I’m just crazy about. Listen, I never get like this.. ever. And I’ve been extremely freaked out about it too. But, my thoughts are this: People spend their whole lives looking for that great person who can ‘complete them’ and they go through so many relationships that end up hurting them. So what if I’m in a relationship when I really hadn’t expected to be, nor did I want to be. I’ve found what everyone is always in the pursuit towards. But regardless of everyone else… I’ve found some one who makes me happier than I’ve ever been. Some one who truly cares about me.

I don’t care how much of a cynic I’ve been when it comes to guys or how stand offish I usually am. Because I’ve actually.. finally.. found the guy who’s worth the risk of heart break. This, I believe, is worth that risk.

“Love deeply and passionately. Although you may get hurt, it’s the only way to live fully.”

I’m not in love. But I’m falling deeper every day. And I, the great skeptic.. the one who never trusts a guy and constantly has her walls up, have actually let down my guard, swallowed my pride, and let him in. I trust you.

Until next time, eventually you’ll realize all your similarities are more than mere coincidence.
-Ché

Lately I have just been a waste of life. I’ve been going to bed extremely late.. like 4-5ish.. and getting up way past noon. G r o s s.

Okay so in 2 weeks Dominican, then a week later Tennessee. Oh boy..

Today I have to clean, then call my room mate. Hopefully I can do these 2 things. Tomorrow maybe get my diploma. God what a lazy bum I’ve turned into this summer. But this has actually been one of my best summers. Last year for instance I was so extremely bored. All I did was visit Rae in Florida, then I worked. I hardly went out. Ha… quite unlike this summer =)

But, tonight I think I’m staying in. I have a massive head-ache.. and a phone date with a cutie-patootie lol.

Until next time, remember that Cingular will always keep your $50.
-Ché

1) The NotebookMakes me want to fall in love/makes me crazy about whoever I’m seeing at the time

2) CloserMakes me want to forget everything I believe and just go do whatever I want

Tonight, I’m watching Closer. =)

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I put in my two weeks notice today!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aah! =) Woohoo! No more work for atleast 4 months. Schools coming.. and I’m done working. So I might end up insanely poor, its okay. My phone’s back on and paid for for the year w00t. *sighhh*
Okay so in all reality, I might work my first semester. And if I do, that’s cool. But for now, this will be my first time UNEMPLOYED since I first started working sophmore year. It’s nice to be free.

So today the most unexpected but coolest thing happened. My cousin Jason apparently is in town and called us up and me and my mom went out with him. I haven’t seen Jason in literally 10 years. He’s 32 and my memories of him are limited and vague at best. But it was great, he’s a very cool guy. Kind of a free spirit. Like tomorrow, for instance, he’s leaving for Ecuador with a friend and is just backpacking for 2 weeks. He has an idea of where he’ll sleep each night and where he’ll end up.. but no certain plans. I kinda admire it. He moved to South Korea for a year teaching English to adults and students. He doesn’t speak Korean but he learned enough I suppose. It’s all admirable at least. And, I got to leave work 2 hours early for that. Woot!

I HAVE SUMMER READING! Lee sent me a letter telling me I need to read: “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe” and “Surprised by Joy”- both by C.S Lewis. But I’m going to do it because my goal is to be an amazing student, stay top ranking.. otherwise how do I ever expect to get into NYU? So it’ll be my little starter kit. ….what bullshit though..summer reading. psh.