In loving memory of Monica Walsh Rinier MacGregor

I've never been good at limiting myself to 133 characters, so this may be less brevity of wit than you're accustomed to from Monica.

Monica, impeccably dressed as always,

with her mother.

This past weekend, we as a family lost Monica. What we didn't immediately realize was that we weren't the only ones who lost her. We knew she was passionate about her twitter activity, but we didn't know that she had amassed so many dear friends and followers. To be so loved by nearly 70,000 people is a true blessing and she was always so happy when she talked about her Twitter family. I don't know how she kept up with so many people, but from what I see, she did and she was special to you. We definitely wanted to make sure we communicated with you as we know many of you have been grieving alongside us.

It was touching to see so many "wearing" her avatar in tribute. We had been working up to posting something about a hashtag to gather all the good wishes, condolences, and compliments for Monica under, so we were so surprised the day after to see that not only had it already been done without us having to ask, but that everyone was working on trending her. I grabbed a screencap from someone at one point...

For #BossyMonica to be the number one trending topic in the US and trend for 3 and a half hours the day after the Grammies really made us laugh even in our grief and nobody would have gotten a bigger kick out of that than Monica. In fact, we're sure she did. I've favorited many of your tweets about her so our family has something to keep us smiling as we remember her.

Monica with her mother and her nephew

In life, she was a real character. She was always the most glamorous person we knew. That picture of Linda Evans on @MrsDarcy119 is an inside joke, a wink to the fact that many of us thought she was a dead ringer for Linda Evans when she went blonde.

She had an extremely wicked sense of humor, hugs that could crack your bones, and a playfulness that never went away (she called me Hon, Pumpkin, Monkey, or Monster so much I sometimes wondered if she knew my name). She had a laugh that was an outright gleeful cackle, a mischievous streak, very strong opinions, and a certain charismatic quality that made people listen when she spoke. She was very family oriented, like most of our family. Her closest friends were among her family.

Monica, sassy as ever, with her mother and 3 of her 5 sisters.

She did not have an easy life in the last 15 years, losing her mother was devastating. Then she lost her father, brother, and husband all in the same year. Then, not too long after, she lost a young niece she was extremely close to. It was not an easy time for any of us, but she felt it keenly. When she moved from California to Pennsylvania to be closer to her sisters and her daughter, she had lost most of her exuberance. But when she found twitter, it seemed to spark something and bring her out of her shell and give her excitement about life again. We are as touched as she would have been at the torrent of tweets and tributes.

Monica with her mother and her favorite brother.

Monica left us on Saturday, February 7th. We truly wish we knew the exact cause, but a full autopsy was not given to us. But it was either due to complications arising from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease or a refusal to receive proper medical attention after a fall the previous week. This staunch refusal of medical attention was something characteristic of her and we truly wish we'd been more insistent that she accept that help when she needed it. It was shocking and sad, but we keep trying to find hope somewhere in it.

Monica passed on the liturgical feast day of St. Colette, namesake of her younger sister, housemate, and constant companion Colette (who wants you to know she always enjoyed hearing about especially amusing quotes from Monica's followers and how special they were to her). We take that as a lovely sign to assure us that Monica is in heaven, happy until we all meet again. One quote about St. Colette is that "She was not only a woman of sincere piety, but also intelligent and energetic, and exercised a remarkable power over all her associates." If that doesn't describe Monica as well, then I don't know what does.

Baby Monica striking a glamorous pose.

Her daughter, Debbie, as well as the rest of us, will miss her presence. "Bossy Monica" was a fitting name for her and she knew it. Even writing this, I can imagine her over my shoulder, telling me what pictures to veto. But that bossiness was tempered with a sweetness and she could go from willfulness to laughter in under a heartbeat.

I believe she is in good company with a husband, a brother, a young niece, and her parents waiting to welcome her. It's only we who are mourning.

There will be no viewing as per Monica's wishes and her remains will be cremated and buried in California with her late husband. Her funeral mass will not be immediate due to extenuating family circumstances so that the California side of her family can come to say goodbye and so we have time to send her off in the style she would have wanted.

If any of you who live in the Delaware County area would like to participate in this celebration of her life and faith, it will be at her childhood parish.

55 comments:

April, I cant thank you enough for keeping #BossyMonica's Twitter family in the loop. You can't imagine how many of us have now had 'the talk' with our loved ones in letting our Twitter friends know if something should happen. Not only that, but after your "Twitter family meant the world to her" tweet, hundreds sat down and wrote thank you tweets to our followers, to make sure they knew we appreciate them in our life - even if we never meet. BossyMonica had that way about her. I never met her, never even spoke to her outside of Twitter, and was stunned to realize how much losing her affected me. To be that affected by someone you've never met - it speaks quite a bit to the person's affect on your life. She will be remembered by so many of us who were lucky enough to have had just a part of her in our lives. Her love for God, her deep faith, her unwavering commitment to conservative causes and her banter will leave a deep hole in our daily lives.Again, thank you so much for allowing us the honor of joining your family in missing, and in honoring the memory, of BossyMonica.~KyMcKinney@bloggingky

Thank you so much. We truly have been touched and even overwhelmed by how many people have tweeted in tribute.

Out of the family, Monica and I were the only ones with an active internet life. I did manage to get access to her accounts to keep them open from my end, but it took time, so I take the same lesson you have. I want to make sure, should anything suddenly happen to me, it's easier for my loved ones to notify those I am close to online. My friends aren't quite as many as my Aunt Monica's -- just fellow nerds who enjoy the same nerdy things I do on blogging sites. But there is no line between them and my "real life" friends for me and, in some cases, they know me better just from giving me advice on my life from an outside perspective when I can't see the forest for the trees.

I am deeply mourning for her loss, but I always prefer, as a woman of faith, to believe everything that happens is for the good. If this helps people consider their internet family or even, I truly hope, helps people accept the help they need or go to the hospital instead of insisting they're okay as I wish my aunt had done, then this will be for the good. We never know what ripples our actions and events will make. As they say, it's n God's time, not ours.

"For I know well the plans I have in mind for you—oracle of the LORD—plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope."---- Jeremiah 29:11

Thank you April, for allowing Monica's 'Twitter Family' to share in this most difficult time, with you & your family.

Her influence will be felt for a long time to come.

It is saddening to learn of the losses she suffered in the past years, some of us too keenly know, how painful & debilitating such trauma can have on one's spirit.... That Monica overcame her grief and found again, a zest for life and others, to share her passions of right and wrong, in contributing to HELP restore good honest decency in our world, with humor, snark, wit and knowledge, speaks volumes of the inner strength she possesses.

One of the cutest tributes from Twitter I saw, was a cartoon of 'Bossy Monica' at the Pearly Gates exclaiming to St. Peter.."What no coffee?.. No Twitter"?...

:'o)

T'was a gift to have glimpsed such a Lady as Monica, and to be one of her many many Tweeps in Type...

I have been trying to keep track of the tweets in tribute to her, but I haven't yet seen this cartoon (by the way, her coffee fixation is shared by me, my father/her brother @kdwalsh5506 and her parents). We really would love to see it. If you could tweet it to me (@AprilmWalsh) or paste it here, I'd be much obliged.

So glad you posted this. I didn't know Monica well, but I always noticed her tweets and I remember when she first followed me. And there was a certain weight to her tweets. I could tell she wasn't just another person on Twitter. She had something to say and when she tweeted, people listened and responded... lots of them. I feel like I know her a little better now. And I'm glad her twitter family has brought you some joy in what must be a very hard time for you all. God bless you.

I was saddened to hear of Monica's passing she was a true Patriot and I was honored to be one of her thousands of followers. I will miss her wit and her passion. people like Monica do not come along everyday .

What a joy Monica was and her spirit lives on in those of us who will continue her fight for the America she so loved. God Bless you and your family during this trying time. I like to believe that she was giggling at the trending too :)

Thank you very much. Once I saw the number of followers, which we weren't quite aware of, I knew they'd need closure. I have many close internet friends, some I've met, and I consider them no less friends than my "real lifers."

Thank you for posting as much as you have regarding Monica's history and life. It is a comfort to us that she enjoyed a deep love of family and friends. You don't attract the amount of 'followers' as she did unless there's a similarity of thought. Please know that you and your family are in our prayers.

I am deeply saddened over your sister's death and I share in this sense of loss, even though I did not meet her in person. Her wit, charm and friendly nature endeared herself to many folks on Twitter. I was one of many who snapped her Twitter avatar for a while and when I saw that she was trending in the USA, like you, I was stunned. Then, I smiled knowing that Monica would get a thrill out of trending. I know she was also a true patriot which is why I followed her in the first place.

Monica's passing was a shock, but I'm not surprised a bit to learn what a fun, friendly, and caring person she was in her offline life. May God in Heaven bless your family and give you peace and comfort as you cope with the loss of your beloved Monica. #MissingHerTweets @RuhRohReuben

Thank you for your updates. May, Monica find comfort and peace with those who went before her. May we remember to always grab hold of the Lord, like the Bridegroom He is, and walk with Him every inch of the way, everyday... for no one knows when our time comes. Peace in God the Father & the Lord Jesus Christ, be with you. With love & prayers for all of Monica's loved ones, @MssLiberty (Sheri)

PS: As you know, we adore her and will miss her, so much... I was shocked and sobbed. On a side note: She was so passionate and forthright (which we love about her) that she was suspended on Twitter via attacks from people who hate the truth on March 29/30 2013... We call it "TwitterGulag." Immediately, I knew and "petitioned" twitter on her behalf. She was silenced.. but bounced right back, much stronger, wittier, passionate than ever-Amen. Love that lady. Sheri

I think Aunt Monica actually told me about that. We didn't talk about our internet lives too often as I'm not political as she was and she wasn't nerdy like me. But she was very up in arms when that happened and, I think, just a little gleeful.

Monica had a light about her that attracted people. We didn't know what she looked like, but we knew she had the heart of a lion. I look forward to meeting her in person one day. God Bless. Colleen (@ArtIsMyPorn)

What a touching tribute to Monica. Through your words, remembrances and photos you have allowed all of her extended family on Twitter a chance to become part of your family and for that we all thank you. God Bless

I didn't know Monica outside of Twitter, but I always looked forward to reading her tweets, and nearly always laughing at her particular brand of snark. The entire world is a little less bright without her. She was one of my first followers, and I will forever miss her.

Thanks for sharing your memories of her with us, and for allowing us to mourn with you.

I'm amazed yet not surprised that Monica did so well against the Grammys. These days it's difficult to express feelings to the opposite gender, especially with stalking, etc. So the best we do is send a few tweets and retweet a lot. It was my pleasure to make a digital St. Patrick's day card of the display window of a hair style shop in downtown Shelby, NC, a picture I took. The theme was very St. Patrick and of course Monica touted being Irish. My dad's dad's lineage is Scottish/Irish and his mother's German. I've like Monica from the git-go, but didn't realize how much until we got the sad news. I'm 63 and very happily married to a wonderful woman. No, I'm not a "Nancy," but the news brought tears to my eyes. Our Monica was just that, our Monica as well as yours. Thank you for this bit of a biography and images. I took screen captures that I'll repost on the anniversary of her passing. I've done this in other forums and it's been well received. Thanks for sharing how discovery of Twitter revived her and her spark. It sure was evident on Twitter, at least that she was full of it, :-). We're all in this together and we're family.

Thank you again for taking time for us. Monica's family is most gracious.

Something I wrote after finding many twitter friends missing...Memorials to Those We Love Online… My Twitter Quest http://captainjamesdavis.net/2015/05/29/memorials-to-those-we-love-online-twitter-quest/

Her kind heart has lite up our lives and her kindness has forever touched so many of us I still think of her often and miss her insight .Hopefully as you said we can reunite with her someday Thank you for sharing her beautiful life with us all

Thank you for sharing and letting us know. Monica and I chatted only about 6 times a years. But each conversation was a gem. Thank you. Blessings to each of you and all of young you mourn her passing. Yet celebrate all that she brought into your lives.

Blessings & Prayers go out to Monica's family & thanks for sharing with Twitter World! Monica will truly be missed by all. We loved her feisty comments, her wit, and of course her true patriot ways! A great women

Hey....hello Ms Beautiful bossey on . I hear ya your an angel now...let this spirit remind you calling you beautiful is a sign of deep respectGroan hearing you makes my insides churn. Still pain to get o're not being aware enough to say good bye before you got on that fast moving trainHello yes...a piece of you is still here in my heartListening to Adele sing Hello? Yes...it is just rightThese holiday seasons are rolling around way too quick. Hard enough to get through the thanksgiving prayers. It's ok..I'll just picture you standing ...no not on top of the tree you may have your wings but this tree of ours is so old it won't hold all that light with ought blowing every bulb right and ...alright alright FAIRY dust (your so bossy) how does St Patie get a word in? Excuse me...being irish has perks if you wear Sherwood forest green? Scuzie...stepping aside just a bit...in case there's lightning that comes with that thunder boltChecking in..love to your family and all who are missing you......still

What a hateful person she was! I'm sure she had family that loved her regardless of what crappie posts & comments she pushed on her racist one sided twitter account. There but for the grace of God goes I! We must all practice what we preach. Her tweets were not what you would call a Christian life of love & compassion. There's a special place for people who cast stones, if you believe that it's okay to be so angry & obstinate. True believers love thy neighbors & fear going to Hell!

I'm wondering who the intended audience is for this comment. If it's me, considering this is my blog you are posting on, then it's crass and inappropriate.

Look, I don't agree with everything my aunt may have said. We had a lot of political differences. But I also don't enjoy the way people attack each other personally over politics, especially since the internet made it so easy. I posted this so those who thought of her as a friend can have closure and to acknowledge that she had a life outside the internet.

People can say really mean things when they have the anonymity of the internet. For example, what you just did. Would you go to someone's funeral and say to someone's relative what you just posted here? You do realize I am a real person, don't you? What you are doing right is not Christian or loving or compassionate, which I suppose you know or you wouldn't be doing it as "Anonymous."

By the way, Twitter does allow you to block and ignore people when you don't like what they have to say. You could have used it on my aunt rather than come here to tell me I'm not allowed to mourn her.

i have just learned of Monica's passing this last evening when i was tweeting or rt others concerning Dallas. I had been a follower of hers since 2013, I am so sorry i had missed this because, i myself had become vary ill three months from late March until late May with a lung infection and recurrent bronchitis. Please know i will miss her and have before. Please send my condolences to her family.

Thanks so much. We continue to miss her on our end. I'm very sorry for your illness. Difficulty breathing is pretty much the hardest thing, considering it's the thing we depend on most. Aunt Monica struggled with COPD as well and getting her to be consistent with doctor visits was difficult as so many of us like to insist we're just fine or will get over it in a few days. Don't be a hero, as they say. I hope you're getting all the care you need. :)

So much time has passed, but I just happened to see Monica's avatar today and looked her up - hadn't seen her postings for awhile. I've added and followed many people, but not everyone is as memorable. There was something special about her - Monica was unique. I'm not on twitter much these days...even though I lost my sister, brother, mother and husband within a few years of each other - still have 2 nieces. It's wonderful that you respected her memory enough to write to those who followed her, and sincerely wanted to know what happened to her. God Bless

I miss Monica. What a beautiful patriot & person. Her tweets even helped me when I was doing my radio show at times. You're one great person, April. Thank you for all you have done. Rest in Heaven, Bossy Monica!!!