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When I grow up, I’ll convince my kid that there’s a man. A man so sweet and kind that he he flies around driven by reindeers and provides the whole world with presents in less than 3 days.
And I will watch him fall and crumble when I tell him that he doesn’t exist and that all these years daddy’s been lying to your ignorant, naive face!

When I grow up, I’ll convince my kid there’s a man… I won’t say a “hero,” ’cause, what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there, in Los Angeles. And even if he’s a lazy man, quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin’ for laziest worldwide… But sometimes there’s a man. Sometimes, there’s a man.