One of the most difficult things to understand is that we’re not responsible for other people’s happiness. Better yet, that we have no control over it.

The reason it is so difficult is that sometimes someone who is close to us chooses time and again to see and experience life in the darkest way possible. We try to show them there is a different way, but they are stuck in their dark perception. They are unhappy and unnecessarily so. It is frustrating and painful. But it is their choice and there is nothing we can do about it. Insisting in the same methodology of trying to show light points to our incapacity to accept our own limitation.

I’m not suggesting giving up in being present in the lives of people we love who choose to be unhappy. I’m suggesting we accept the fact that we can’t make anyone change if they don’t want to. I suggest not adding to the situation by embracing the unhappiness and frustration ourselves.

Getting to a place of acceptance can be difficult because we often think there is one more thing we can try or we think we can change others if we only apply ourselves a little more. But, the truth is we know it really isn’t up to us.

Accepting that others have the control of their experience is an indicator of our own growth. We can offer compassion and friendship, but as we are responsible for our happiness so are others for theirs.