Some friends and I went to notorious New Jersey Action Park or "Traction Park" or "Fracture Park" as it is also commonly known once. These are the things that I remember about it.

1) The ticket salesman said my bills were counterfeit and I would not be allowed into the park. I had just taken the money from a Chase ATM, if they were in fact counterfeit, I wasn'g going to let them keep the freaking bills and keep me out of the Park. Having driven in a car with six people in near 100 degree heat for my day of sweet relief, I pitched such a fit that they let me in.

2) The park's nickname was indeed well deserved. I saw many people staggering around in a bloody daze, looking like they just were on the losing end of a prize fight. The bottom of the "Alpine Slide" seemed to be the biggest bloodbath. It was not a water feature but a kind of luge with a wheeled cart that would careen down a curving cement flume. Inevitably someone's arm or leg would drag on the cement immediately relieving the plucky rider of their skin. If helmets, leather jumpsuits, and gloves were issued this may not have been such a problem. However, people where in their swimsuits and practically naked.

3) The completely nutso loop water slide ride was not open apparently due to a of a broken neck the week before. However, one of the more terrifiying slides was still open, it was basically a 80 foot drop straight down. They had signage that encouraged you to cross your legs. When I freaked out and uncrossed my legs halfway down I realized why.

At the bottom of the incline, my colon basically had 50 gallons of water forced up it at once, causing my bowels to open up like a drag racer chute. I can only imagine the coliform content of the pool at the bottom of that thing. It still makes me shudder thinking about it. They should have renamed the ride The Deliverance Squeal Like A Pig Experience.

When a water park story start like this, I brace for some horrific injuries to come. The worst part of that place was the paths were black asphalt and as you can imagine, they were flip-flop melting hot when the sun is beating down on the during the summer.

Some friends and I went to notorious New Jersey Action Park or "Traction Park" or "Fracture Park" as it is also commonly known once. These are the things that I remember about it.

1) The ticket salesman said my bills were counterfeit and I would not be allowed into the park. I had just taken the money from a Chase ATM, if they were in fact counterfeit, I wasn'g going to let them keep the freaking bills and keep me out of the Park. Having driven in a car with six people in near 100 degree heat for my day of sweet relief, I pitched such a fit that they let me in.

2) The park's nickname was indeed well deserved. I saw many people staggering around in a bloody daze, looking like they just were on the losing end of a prize fight. The bottom of the "Alpine Slide" seemed to be the biggest bloodbath. It was not a water feature but a kind of luge with a wheeled cart that would careen down a curving cement flume. Inevitably someone's arm or leg would drag on the cement immediately relieving the plucky rider of their skin. If helmets, leather jumpsuits, and gloves were issued this may not have been such a problem. However, people where in their swimsuits and practically naked.

3) The completely nutso loop water slide ride was not open apparently due to a of a broken neck the week before. However, one of the more terrifiying slides was still open, it was basically a 80 foot drop straight down. They had signage that encouraged you to cross your legs. When I freaked out and uncrossed my legs halfway down I realized why.

At the bottom of the incline, my colon basically had 50 gallons of water forced up it at once, causing my bowels to open up like a drag racer chute. I can only imagine the coliform content of the pool at the bottom of that thing. It still makes me shudder thinking about it. They should have renamed the ride The Deliverance Squeal Like A Pig Experience.

They needed rape trauma counselors not lifeguards.

dude i remember action park. going there in the late 80's we saw sooo many injuries like you said. we always got burns from the alpine slide. People were always getting hurt.

I was at a water park once. I was attacked by a bee. It happened right after I was informing some friends about how I had never been stung by a bee before. Thinking about it brings back fond memories of panic and fear. Good times.

brap:However, one of the more terrifiying slides was still open, it was basically a 80 foot drop straight down. They had signage that encouraged you to cross your legs. When I freaked out and uncrossed my legs halfway down I realized why.

My local water park has one of those. It's awesome, and they won't let you go until you cross your legs. 9 stories, essentially a straight drop. Completely open on top, so you can see just how stupidly insane you are. If you wimp out, there are two 8 story twisting slides right below that are pretty damn fun as well, and closed. Apart from a tiny holes for ventilation, completely dark inside. The points of light from those holes above you reminds of of the Star Trek warp speed effect.

Actually, crossing legs very well could be a solution for this park's slide, just going off my visualization of the nature of these 'injuries'. They've probably tried it though.

kvinesknows:Came here for closeup pics of what an "intimate injury" might be...

leaving very very disappointed.

I may be able to help you. Google the primary color of azure coupled with a tasty breakfast food similar to pancakes or crepes, there are belgium versions of said food. I don't want to get banned out of the "blue" here for those of you trying to understand why I would "waffle"

brap:At the bottom of the incline, my colon basically had 50 gallons of water forced up it at once, causing my bowels to open up like a drag racer chute. I can only imagine the coliform content of the pool at the bottom of that thing. It still makes me shudder thinking about it. They should have renamed the ride The Deliverance Squeal Like A Pig Experience.