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Punk also has HHH’s gift of delivering a slightly funny joke before driving it into the ground and making it all awkward and shit.

I think he needs to just stop talking at this point unless he can channel something more than “you’re gay lol” and “sill wetback, go back 2 mexico plox” jokes and shit.

The crowd hates Johnny Ace because he tried to screw Punk, undermined Triple H and stole the power of RAW GM from his boss who is still his boss. He’s so cartoonishly evil that everything he does is steeped in smarm. I love it, because he’s being a heel without going off on these long tangents about “you people” and shit. He’s getting heat by appearing, saying his piece, and leaving.

Meanwhile, as much as they try to make the US title a thing, it continues to not be a thing since we still don’t have a clear idea how the heirarchy of belts go (though I’d assume some minor vagrant strain of AMERICA FUCK YEAH would lead to being US champion > Champion of the planet, but less than WWE champion, but then that’s supposedly the Championship of the fucking universe and now my head hurts.)

Dr. Doom John Laurinatis needs to start backing Cody Rhodes so we have can reveal in their comic book glory.

When The Vice President of Talent Relation and In-term General Manager of Raw Mr. John Laurinatis did his “future endeavors” bit, my first thought was “And now Brandon can be happy”. The only thing that would have made that spot better is if he’d flashed a smile and the SFX people had made his teeth do that fake “ting” shine you see in commercials.

Laurinaitis and his “Mr. Excitement” schtick is by far the best part of the show right now, along with Otunga and the travel mug. His delivery is so terrible it’s terrific. I know that’s really how he talks and that it’s not a different delivery than it’s been since he’s been on television, but just having that monotone and staccato speech part of “Mr. Excitement’s” gimmick is fantastic to me. They realized he would always suck on television, but just by him giving himself that nickname all the suck has turned to awesome.

But when I saw it, I thought he was doing his impression of Leatherface swinging his chainsaw on the highway at the end of the original, angry that the last survivor (in this case, Ricardo) got away, but still happy because he has a chainsaw (world title) and can kill people.

Also, Miz telling Ziggler that Vickie was the only way he could get a reaction, followed by Ziggler muttering “oh instead of making a mean face” was great. Actually, all of his comebacks were great in that segment. Hopefully they get the belt off of him and move him up the food chain in 2012. It’s too bad that’s necessary, because I remember being little and thinking what badass titles the US and Television titles were in NWA.

I enjoyed the amount of wrestling but all the sketchy finishes and silly stuff bothered me. I hated Orton running after Barrett even though I accept that he gets angry and loses control. The reason he’s pissed is because Barrett keeps costing him matches….so wouldn’t he realize that’s what is happening?

I’m a bigger Smackdown fan. I tune into Raw for Zwaggler, Punk, and Del Rio

Seriously, I’ve been waiting for the guy to get a serious storyline since he was being Del Rio’s henchman. The squashes on Superstars were solid and the promos for weeks got me excited then each week I wait and wait and still no Brodus. The dude looks impressive….let him destroy someone on Raw please.

The Cena-Ryder thing was a perfect example why WWE just can’t handle success right now. They realize there’s this organic, albeit partly ironic, thing they’ve got growing with Ryder, so let’s put him on TV waaaayyy too much and don’t really have him succeed, but be a goofy hanger-on. Then they realize they’ve got this budding interesting thing with Cena getting cheered and booed despite being the guy who tries to do the right thing – let’s make him wrestle the guy who gets cheered so that the crowd will boo him more, then in his quest to only do the right thing, give up his title shot and do something that no one would ever logically do, no matter how good a guy. Pfffffft.

Also, the fuck is Sheamus’s plan right now? Not chasing the title, not really having a problem with anyone, just showing up and smiling and whatever. He couldn’t feud with Miz? Miz couldn’t be better used than having poppies maed on his face after finally doing something productive?

Oh and everyone follow Dusty on twitter, it’s kind special. And be sure to check out my new band, Nexus Bang Bus Attack.

I’m willing to overlook Punk taking a dump on his two title contenders just because it makes him look like a strong champion, which he needs right now. I’ll change my mind if (when?) it happens every week. It’s harder to book strong heels against Cena as champ, becausse Cena.

Punk still has that vulnerability – it’s a good opportunity to make both the champion and his challengers look better.

Johnny Ace is definitely being amazing right now. The fact that he believably portrays an out-of-his element corporate shill because he actually is boring is by far the funniest part of any Raw. Also, I’m relatively new to this thing. I’ve only been actively watching wrestling for like six weeks, so if someone could answer this for me, I would greatly appreciate it. Does every single John Cena match have to end with him Never Backing Down and hitting two shoulder blocks into the Five Knuckle Shuffle into the Attitude Adjustment?

I swear I watched this last night, but while reading this I realized I probably wasn’t paying attention for 75%. I’m annoyed by the Divas (thought I shouldn’t be, nothing’s really going to change), annoyed that Miz can’t ever just win the damn match without some sort of help and I guess I’m confused as to why Cena seems to be on some sort of inner journey to find his true self.
Anyway, I did pay attention to the end, and my goodness, Laurinitis made it worth the two hours I put in by wishing Morrison luck on his future endeavors. It felt surreal since most of the time when a superstar is released from a contract everyone acts like that person never existed anyway

I did not care for the show. . . As much as I am a fan of diva wrestling, at this point, they should just scrap it all together and re-introduce midget wrestling. I don’t think there has ever been a time when it is this bad. This is including Trish Stratus barking like a dog.

There was some awesome one liners in this best and worst write up. Good job.

I’m sorry, I just can’t behind the HHH/Nash match, no matter how much of a “look on the bright side” spin you put on it, Brandon. Beyond the fact that the whole feud is based on the ridiculous “I GOT A BIG POP AT THE RUMBLE” nonsense (I keep waiting for somebody to pull Nash aside and say “dude…you’d been gone for 8 years. The Rumble crowd will pop for ANYBODY they haven’t seen more recently than that morning. We could send Kamala hopping down the ramp on his one foot next January and the crowd would pop like we’d resurrected Eddie Guerrero.”), the sheer amount of ridiculous EFFORT being put into turning Kevin Nash into “scary angry monster Kevin Nash” is pointless. “Scary angry monster Kevin Nash” has NEVER existed. Anywhere. Between the bad guy from Steamboat Willie goatee, the MAEKIN’ POOPIEZ frowny face and the Ming the Merciless makeup, the whole thing smacks of effort. Nash has spent 10+ years building a character who barely gives a shit about anything except cash, so why not let that be his gimmick and motivation? Or hell, let him go back to the grey, and send him out in a bathrobe as “The Big Nashbowski”. Either one would be more believable than “GRR I HATEZ YOU SO MUCH” Nash.

I feel like them holding up Brodus’ debut is setting him up for disappointment. He went from “here comes this tough big guy” to “Z0MG, the destroyer of worlds!”. Maybe they won’t fuck it up but, lets be honest…its the WWE.

I have to admit that Johnny Ace has really grown on me as an on-air character. Even more surprisingly, from a kayfabe perspective, he’s actually a pretty decent GM. He may not be “creative” or whatever CM Punk keeps calling him out for, but he makes relatively solid, logical matches (as logical as rasslin’ is going to get anyway), keeps a level head while Punk drags him through the mud again and again, while not being totally spineless like Teddy “Lemme Holla at Ya, Playa” Long (on the negative side of things, he doesn’t get the hilariously cheese-tastic porno sax MaryseTiffany Aksana segments either). Punk should really lay off the guy. All things considered, Johnny Ace has been remarkably fair and tolerant of him. I do still want to know what “Ride the Neon Wave” was supposed to mean though. I don’t think that even made any sense in the 80s.

“Remember that horrible segment where Triple H tried to convince CM Punk that getting the fans behind him was the only thing that mattered, and CM Punk was like YEAH I KNOW LISTEN TO THEM and the crowd is all C-M-PUNK, C-M-PUNK and Triple H just says “uh uh, this isn’t important, what’s important is what THESE PEOPLE THINK” and you’re like WHAT THE F**K IS GOING ON, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING, OH GOD MY BRAIN?”

I love anyone who has something good to say about Community. So big thumbs up for that.

Johhny Ace is really good right now. His ‘future endevours’ line had me laughing out loud.

…I really don’t understand why anyone cares about Brodus Clay. He looks like he’s in terrible shape. I mean, there’s Vader fat, and then there’s Yokozuna fat, right? Brodus is flabby. Besides, how exciting is any giant monster, long-term? They’re unstoppable for a while, until they’re not. Then they’re mid-card the rest of their career. Kane and Big Show are both perfect examples.

WWE wrestlers are like Dug, the dog from Up. They can be in the middle of something super important and as soon as they see another wrestler it’s “SQUIRREL!” and they gaze off in the distance and then have to chase the squirrel forgetting their task at hand.

I can’t really fault Cena too much for not getting up too quick after Ryder’s version of Samoa Joe/ken Anderson’s Face Wash (whatever he calls it), because I don’t know if it was Cena not having his head in the right spot or Ryder just plain missing the mark (I think it’s the latter), but it looked like he really kicked Cena in the head, and I mean really clobbered him. I was like “Damn, I hope Cena is alright.”. Also the whole sequence is very illogical, it makes for a very poor setup to the Flying Dick Attack. I understand the concept of suspension of disbelief, but I’m really supposed to believe that after a guy just ran full speed at me and kicked me in the side of the head, while I’m seated and in the corner so I don’t have anywhere to go to lessen the impact no less, I would quickly get up and act dazed? A much better setup move would be something that would be done while the opponent is standing, like say an Enzuigiri (I never understood why an Enzuigiri isn’t used as a finisher these days, it should be at least as devastating as a Superkick, but that’s a whole different topic), then the opponent can walk around all punch drunk like Naich or Mr. Perfect (minus the EPIC face plant) right into Ryder’s Flying Dick Attack.

I wonder if part of the problem is that Punk is going from self-aware to ironic. During the summer he was aware of his role and his goals. Now he’s taken that one step further (no doubt thanks to the writers) and now he has to be cool. But what was cool was the authenticity, not the ironic detachment.

In other words, I wholeheartedly agree that he’s becoming HHH and that sucks. Although at least he can wrestle.

can we just get rid of women’s wrestling? I mean if all they get is a minute and a half of beth doing a couple moves and losing on a roll up to a girl half her weight in a tag match where two of the girls didn’t wrestle is there even a point left to have them around? Why don’t they just go back to being what sunny and sable were…good looking girls who walk out there with the men. At least then they accomplish something by doing nothing. I enjoyed women’s wrestling back when matches made sense and they at least got a 5 minute match.