Shunning: This Happens too Often in Churches, It’s a Very Cruel Judgmental Spirit!

Have you ever been shunned? Have you ever felt out of place with a group of people having a conversation? You want to join in; you feel you have something to say or to contribute, but by the time you can find a possible opening in the conversation they have moved on to something else. If you then contribute, they look at you as though you had just arrived from another planet. Their faces seem to say, “Who are you?” “You are not qualified to give input.” or “Go back to sleep.” Or worse still, they completely ignore you or don’t hear you, so you end up talking to yourself.

Well, unless you are one of those people that everyone looks to as the life and soul of the party, you will feel like an outsider.

Certain youngsters have that problem at school when they find they are not part of the popularity crowd. Many of them end up as a loner and most of the others kids see them as a loser. Well unfortunately this happens a lot in the world. Hence much of the violence and killings in our public (government) schools has stemmed from this problem.

So what about Christians? What about the Church? Is that same spirit operating in the Body of Christ? What happens if you as a church member or a regular attendee disagree with some of the teachings or philosophy of the leadership? In some cases you may be excommunicated; in many cases you will probably be shunned. Being shunned means you are not welcome; you are to be avoided.

In fact the rest of the sheep that swallow whatever they are fed without question, will be instructed to avoid you. This is done with the hope that you will either mend your ways or leave. If you are verbal with your disagreement and attempt to share your feelings with others you will swiftly be barred and finally excommunicated. There are even some church leaders that will insist that you cut yourself off from your immediate family, if they (family) don’t see eye to eye with the teachings of your church. Imagine being in a church where you are not allowed to see your parents, or your children are never or seldom allowed see their parents or grandparents. It happens – it has no grace in it nor any love-just a demand that everyone agrees with the theology of the church leader- or leaders. Very sad.

Submitting Without Question?

None of us are perfect and no one has all the answers. If being accepted by a church you have to submit to their leadership and trust them implicitly without question and you agree then you are foolish. So if this has happened to you, or quite likely will, what do you do?

You eventually find yourself in a position where you feel to have to say something. So make sure that your disagreement isn’t just because of personality clashes with the leadership. Make sure that you have a viable reason. If you are convinced biblically that the church is becoming cultish, and it’s practices are unscriptural and dangerous, and legalistic, then it’s time to give them a warning. This should be done in love and without any personal vendetta. There are four major principles that measure whether the church is operating on a sound foundation.( If you are too emotionally involved then just say you are moving on, and maybe you can maybe say something later when you have gotten some healing. But you have to take time to let Jesus love on you – you don’t have go the next week and “join” another church. You have to chill out a bit and go have some fun).

1. It doesn’t operate contrary to the nature of God and the spirit of Jesus.

2. It doesn’t corrupt the teaching of the scriptures.

3. It doesn’t offend your conscience through manipulation.

4. It allows you hear God for yourself and learn to listen to the witness in your spirit. The witness – or the anointing within you is to teach you – the Bible says

If these foundations are not part of your church and you have been shunned because you won’t go along with their practices then it’s time to leave. So turn your ‘Shun’ into a ‘Shunt’ (which means to turn aside or push or shove something out of the way.) Or shift from one track to another. You have been on the wrong track long enough; it’s now time to get on the right track. Being shunned is bad and sad, but being shunted or shunting is good and allows you to move on into your calling and destiny.

Remember! Check the signs of the new track you are looking for. Don’t just think it’s fine because they preach well, or seem to be really orthodox. Sense their spirit. When you attend a new church don’t commit yourself right away. Take your time until you have the witness of the spirit. First impressions are seldom accurate. “Why?” you ask. Because the Sunday morning scene is the showplace to attract.

What goes on behind the scene is what really matters. Who are the elite ones that belong to the inner circle? The Sunday morning meeting, the pastor’s preaching, the worship team and the nice facility; is not the church. The real church is seen in the spiritual life and freedom of the people. If there is only religious life and religious bondage and a special privileged elitist membership then it’s a counterfeit of the real church.

No One is Perfect and Knows it All

lt’s better to fellowship with people that have a loving, gentle, open, spirit who may be a little off in some of their doctrine, than fellowship with a hard line church which strains at crossing every ‘t’ and dotting every ‘i’ and believing that they are the ones that hold all truth and revelation. After all; who of us isn’t wrong in some point of doctrine. No one is perfect and knows it all. Remember that the Holy Spirit is the teacher and He will lead us into all truth.

If the church that you were with has offended your conscience and they have rejected you, then look for a church where everyone is expected to be able to hear from God and not just the leaders. The five-fold ministry gifts of Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Pastor and Teacher, were given by God to equip the Saints in order that they may do the work of the ministry and build up the Body of Christ. (See Eph. 4:11-12) The best place for Christians to practice and develop their faith and make mistakes without fear of retribution should be in the church. Unfortunately that seldom happens, because of religious control.

Where loves flows in a church there is no fear. For perfect love casts out fear. (see 1 John 4:18)

This is not advocating that every Tom, Dick, Harry and Mary, stand up every Sunday morning at church and scream and argue, “I can hear from God.” No! Obviously not, but in the spirit of true submission of one to another, true leaders will encourage and teach all the saints to learn to hear from God and be able to fulfill their spiritual destiny.

How wonderful to have a church full of mature and effective Christians which are an asset to the local church rather than have in spiritual babes that continue to need their diapers changed and be spoon fed. Leaders need to understand that they can’t have it both ways. If they want to wield absolute control, then they will never produce mature saints and will end up with a history of damaging many poor people.

That elitist spirit will bring a spirit of control in every organization whether it’s secular or religious. “But Jesus called them to himself and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant.'” (Matt.20:25-26)

That’s simply how the church is to be. Hard to find? Probably! But not impossible. So don’t give up. If you are a leader or pastor, mold your church after the true pattern that Jesus established for the early church. After all, Jesus Christ is the head of the church. He is the true pattern. Not a famous preacher, not a denomination, or the big mega church, or the small exclusive group who believe they are God’s special elites, or anyone else for that matter. Don’t only pattern your church after the early church; but also catch the same spirit. Give the Holy Spirit his proper place. He has been an outcast for too long.

“But speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head – Christ – from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifing of itself in love.” (Eph.4:15-16)