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28 December 2008

25 December 2008

Our trip out to the Pacific Northwest was canceled due to the weather, and there were more than a few very, very disappointed souls here as well as over there. It would have been our last trip up that way before our move. Mom was so disappointed that she has already decided to come down during spring. I am glad that she doesn't mind travelling (because I do!).

We did get up fairly early this morning and exchanged gifts. That was nice -- just the three of us, very relaxed and laid-back, with coffee mugs in our hands, the Christmas tree lights on and the fire going in the fireplace. Then we stayed in our pajamas and I finished reading Twilight (my homework from P) while E put together his new Lego project. M went running. Brrrrr.

I really do enjoy my little family. We are all healthy, together (at least for the time being), and appreciate each other very much. We got to spend time by ourselves -- that probably was the greatest, albeit unexpected, gift this year.

18 December 2008

11 December 2008

It's the most wonderful time of the year.... or so they say. We're supposed to be happy, merrily singing carols and decking the halls.

We buy presents, trim the tree, light the candles and open the advent calendar. Yes, we do have fun.

But we all know that it is also the most difficult time of the year. We're missing those dear ones who have departed, and oh how we wish, just wish, that we could be together again.

We miss those who are far away, whom we may not see until goodness knows when. How we wish we could be there, with them, right now.

What we crave is not a lavish party nor an expensive gift. We want the void to be filled and the tears to dry. When that's not possible and the heart still aches, give us peace and comfort so we can go on.

Then, one day at a time, we will make this into a season to remember, another memory to cherish. We will have ourselves a merry little Christmas.

26 November 2008

23 November 2008

Oh when you're smilin'Keep on smilin'The whole world smiles with youAh when you're laughin'Keep on laughin' The sun comes shinin' through

Now when you're cryin'You bring on the rainSo stop that sighin'Be happy againCause when you're smilin'Just keep on smilin'And the whole world's gonna smile with The great big world will smile withThe whole wide world will smile with you

16 September 2008

What do we say to someone who asks, "If there is a God, why is there so much suffering?", someone who is suffering, bombarded with challenges and tragedies, someone who cries, "Enough is enough! I can't take it any more"?

What do we offer beyond our hands to hold, ears to listen, shoulders to lean on?

Why are these things happening to these people?

Why do we even wonder why? What is the point of asking why?

I don't have the answers. So I just keep believing in God, my God, and keep on offering my hands to hold, ears to listen, and shoulders to lean on. Because there is nothing more I can do; this is all that I can do.

I am one small person, and I do what one small person can do. Nothing more. But nothing less.

18 August 2008

Not being much of a movie person, I haven't seen that many of her films, but I've always thought her incredibly beautiful and intelligent-looking. Julianne Moore, as portrayed in this article, didn't disappoint me.

Here's a quote: "I want them to be interested in their own lives and their own accomplishments.... I don't want them to be interested in mine. Mine are of no consequence to them. I am their mother. That's all I want to be to them -- not some artist who discusses her work with them. I don't care if they appreciate my artistry. I just want them to appreciate my unconditional love."

(My accomplishments) are of no consequence to them.

How refreshing is that?

And isn't it so, so true?

As a parent, it doesn't matter what one's occupation is or how great one is at that occupation; what matters is how good one is as a parent. And the childrent shouldn't have to worry about anything else in terms of who their parents are.

Now, does this have any relevance to my life, as I am a stay-at-home mother and have no other roles in my relationship with my child? Why yes, it does.

22 July 2008

I ate the first tomato that came off our tomato plants in the backyard.

What a gift to the senses!

It looked all bumpy -- in fact it actually looked ugly, not at all pretty to look at, not like the ones we see in the supermarket. But of course I've seen these "slightly imperfect" looking vegetables at local farmers' market.

M sliced it for me, and sprinkled a bit of sea salt and freshly ground pepper. It smelled like the afternoon sun, and it tasted like sunshine.

Mmmmm. Joy. Delight.

It is a gift from the earth, gift of agricultural history, gift of love, gift of nature, and it is a gift of God.

13 June 2008

Tomorrow E and I go and meet up with M, who is already in Denver. Of course I've missed him, but more so because E talks about him so much.

I so love the way their relatioinship keeps growing stronger. M is the biggest hero that ever lived in E's universe, and the nature of the bond between them is very different from the bond that E and I share. There is a quality of almost sacred mutual respect between the two of them. I just love watching them (from afar) spend special, one-on-one moments.

Another beautiful day, with skies endlessly blue. I close with a prayer of eternal gratitude.

06 June 2008

It's 79 degrees outside, and the humidity level is 40%. The sun is shining, and the chair on the patio is just the place to be. Just give me a book and a glass of iced tea.

Life is good, and knowing that I didn't earn this but was given this as a privilege keeps me humble.

What would I try to keep, if I was given an hour to pack and just a suitcase?

I know that there is nothing I abusolutely must have, as long as M is with me and I am holding E's hand. Love binds me, yet it also makes me free.... Free to sing, free to dance, free to laugh and free to cry.

14 May 2008

There's a spark of magic in your eyesCandyland appears each time you smileNever thought that fairy tales came trueBut they come true when I'm near youYou're a genie in disguiseFull of wonder and surprise

And betcha by golly, wowYou're the one that I've been waiting for foreverAnd ever will my love for you keep growin' strongKeep growin' strong

If I could I'd catch a falling starTo shine on you so I'll know where you areOrder rainbows in your favorite shadeTo show I love you, thinking of youWrite your name across the skyAnything you ask I'll try

'Cause betcha by golly, wowYou're the one that I've been waiting for foreverAnd ever will my love for you keep growin' strongKeep growin' strong

28 April 2008

There was a lot of work to do around the house on Saturday, and I worked really hard. Since it was an extremely hot day, I was soaking with sweat by the time I got everything done. I took a shower, and feeling refreshed, with a glass of wine in my hand, I stood in front of my gigabeat -- what should I listend to?

There's a feeling of accomplishment, the breeze is balmy, and I am sipping lovely wine --- what else is there but Hawaiian music?

I picked Kealii Reichel's Kawaipunahele.

This CD always takes me right back to Hawaii. I sat and listened to his voice, and I missed Hawaii so much that my heart ached. Akaka Falls came on, and I had an idea, and googled a map of the Big Island.

Now that was a fun thing to do. Look at that; this island is nothing but a big chunk of volcano! There is Keauhou Bay, where we stayed on our last trip, where I fell in love with Hawaiian green sea turtles, those sweet, lovely creatures. There is the town of Hawi, my favorite small town in the whole country.

So I had a virtual driving tour of the Big Island, satellite style, around the island in just 30 minutes. Until we can figure out a way to actually get there, this will have to do. But wait for me, the Big Island of Hawaii; I will be coming back to you. I love you and miss you; you have my heart.

30 March 2008

So we were in Santa Monica today, and because we weren't sure about the traffic situation on the freeway (there had been a closure due to an accident earlier), we took PCH back.

I'm a bit reluctant to admit this, but, really, I don't know what the big deal is about Malibu. Sure, it's nice out there. But I think the beaches I saw in Carmel and Pacific Grove up north were a hundred times prettier. Or Kailua Beach on Oahu. Or Waimea Beach on the other side of the island. Now those are truly beautiful beaches.

You need nice shops and cafes by the beach? Carmel's got them. So does Pacific Grove. Sure, these beaches are farther up north and Malibu is considerably warmer, at least much of the time, but weather can't be the only thing people look for in the beach, is it? Or is it?

It must be all that hype with the celebrity population that makes Malibu attractive, because, although the drive along PCH is nice enough (I admit, it beats driving on 101), there are miles of ugly houses on the ocean side of the road, and hundreds of feet of parked cars to look at that kind of take away from the joy of driving by the sea. There's also -- it seems always -- some type of construction going on that makes the area visually unappealing to me.

So there. I've said it. I'm not particularly crazy about Malibu, and if that deeply offends someone's sensibility, there's nothing I can do about it.

22 March 2008

My lower back has been bothering me, to the point where on some nights, I can't find any comfortable position in bed. I realized why today -- it's the chair in the office.

I've been spending a lot of time sitting at the desk recently, and this chair, which we bought -- when? I don't even remember -- for M, who is more than a foot taller than me, is not ergonomically correct for my body. Duh.

I dragged a chair from the kitchen and sat in it with a thick pillow between my back and the back of the chair, and goodness, what a difference it makes.

Yet another area in M and my lives where we are not compatible.....sometimes I think it is a miracle that we actually get along.

21 March 2008

Yesterday was the first day of spring. The weather around here has been a tease, warming up a bit, cooling down again, getting really warm again, and then going back to almost winter-like temperature. Yesterday, however, was a nice day. It is warm and bright today, too, and maybe, just maybe, it really is spring now.

E's playroom project is almost complete. The magnetic boards and the flags arrived yesterday; all I have to do is have M put them up. I would have done that myself last night except the boards are too heavy for me to install. Didn't have the heart to ask M to do it last night, however.

The planters on the patio are now done as well. This year the color scheme is bold, bright, and all around happy. In a few weeks they will fill out, and about that time, it will be warm enough to start having dinner outside.

A glass of chilled white wine in my own backyard, at the end of a productive day. Life really can't get any better than that.

07 March 2008

I used to wonder why that was the case, until I realized that food was quite possibly the easiest and most accessible topic to blog about.

One can blog about travels, but really, how often does one travel? Blogs can be also about movies, but I don't know anybody who sees a movie every day. Everybody has to eat, however. Most people eat a few times a day.

What's amazing about the food blogs I read is the amount of time and energy these people are evidently spending on creating, searching, consuming, photographing, and critiquing food. I enjoy cooking and I like to eat, too, but if I spent that much effort even just thinking about food, I would have no energy left to eat, let alone to cook.

The food blogs I like are those that don't just discuss food -- I find recipe blogs quite boring -- the ones I frequent look like they are talking about food but really they are talking about, oh, you know, love, life, relationship, and stuff like that. So far I have not found too many of them, but there are some, and they are oh so lovely.

28 February 2008

Before we moved here, we were told that it never rains in So. CA and that it is never cold. Those were two of the biggest little lies I had ever heard. Now I see why Ugg boots are so popular here.

Okay, so this is not Fargo, ND, either, but it has been sufficiently cold and I myself have been wearing Uggs (studiously purchased to keep up with the local fashion). Ugg boot season, however, seems to be ending now -- today, the sky is forever blue with not a cloud to be seen, the breeze is sweet, and thanks to all the rain we had several weeks back, the hills are alive not only with the sound of mucis but also with sprouts of green everywhere.

It's spring!

It's the season of new beginnings! Time to clean out our closets, cabinets, and bookcases, and give away what's not needed any more. In the spirit of purging, I have already got my hair cut fairly short. We're getting rid of the extra bed (only two people have come to stay overnight in the last two years) and the loveseat that has been sitting in the garage for over a year. We'll paint the former guest room with a spring-y shade of blue and make it a playroom for E and his friends.

Spring, spring, spring!

A light exists in springNot present on the yearAt any other period.When March is scarcely here

22 February 2008

In the beginning, there was nothing in the space where this blog now appears. In fact, the space didn't even exist. There was just...nothing. And a few fingers said, "Be!" and so it was. From nothing to an infinite possibility, in just a few minutes while my fingers (and the brain to which they are connected) struggled to create its existence.