my biggest eye-opener was when i realised while sparring to just do exactly that, don't play to win or not win, just focus on the positions and nothing else, go with the situation as you find yourself.

when i look at other whitebelts who are constantly looking to tap someone out i always see this shitfest panic crappling show.
I did it aswell in the beginning.
Now im way more in control of what im doing and it allows me to see what my opponent is going for.

as the teaching part goes:when an instructor is explaining a move i mostly look at his hips and the position of his knees and feet in accordance to the mat.

For me I think the biggest one was the concept of using my hips. I would just try to pull someone's arm towards me without positioning my hips first for armbars from guard. I kept thining, "I'm doing it just like the instructor, why isn't mine working? I must not be strong enough." I had a random shock like a punch in the stomach when I realized that hip positioning would allow for me to actually finish my techniques.