Narcissism for Black Women: The Very Good and Healthy Expression of Deep Self-Love, and Extreme Self-Devotion. Why? Because It's Good For Ya! And Sometimes I Write about Natural Hair, Among Other Things

According to the “experts” they sought out for this article, black males have been locked up for far too long. If you want to read an institutional and media driven message – that hurts black women – the following NY Times article is a prime example:

I would like to see all these “educated” social scientists relocate to areas where the ex-cons are. I bet there’d hardly be any takers. Yet, according to them the factors for the condition of black women is too precious. It believes the “real” problem for black women, in not finding enough black men only is because they are mostly in jail.

And that they are there longer than necessary.

Defying Common Sense: He Never Was Home

There are several issues we have to overlook just to give us this “get out of jail early” logic. There is no position that they are innocent parties unfairly accused of crimes who do not belong in prison. There is no position exploring why they refuse to graduate from high school, which would be the first and most immediate step out of poverty. There is no position that they should refrain, with some pretense at morality, from pursuing a life of criminal activity, which is harming others, in the first place.

Oh no, the crux of the article is that long term jail sentences are making things worse for single black women, because the men are taken out of the neighborhood. Thereby depriving her the means of a second income to provide for the family.

The assumption is that if the black male was present, he would be of some assistance.

Seriously? Seriously? Come on! Black males made themselves irrelevant, absenting themselves from the black nuclear family years ago, and it didn’t start with the war on drugs. They were abandoning their wives and children many years before that. Black women were able to stop the slide into poverty by finishing school, relocating to better neighborhoods and raising their children alone with middle class jobs.

They Don’t Care About Black Women

What the article doesn’t want to acknowledge is the total destruction this economy has wrought on the single black mother, who used to be able to manage. Now, these same people who used to hail black single motherhood are pretending to be concerned that she’s out there doing it all by herself.

Yet, not one paragraph is devoted to suggesting maybe black women – in order to improve their lives – should relocate to low crime, mixed neighborhoods with better gender ratios and seek opportunities with men who are not black. Mobility would also cure their own poverty.

Everybody has to go to where the jobs are.

This article was so messy, I thought I was reading Essence magazine. The black media will heartily gobble this up, spreading this manure far and wide. I can imagine how the pressure (as usual) will be applied: black women gotta stay in the hood and “struggle” with the incarcerated “brothas”. Do they still call these negroes “freedom fighters” or “political prisoners”? I haven’t read black media in such a long time, I’ve forgotten.

I like how the article fails to mention that black males are the number one killers of black women. She wouldn’t be alive to “struggle” with him anyhow.

There are good reasons why he’s in jail. And it’s a myth that black women are hurt by his incarceration. It is the justice system working as it should when criminals are locked up. How do black women benefit from sociopaths roaming the neighborhood creating havoc? Anyone read the number of black people who die in places like Chicago and Philly everyday?

Step Away From the Hot Mess

Despite the amount of ink devoted to the issue black women and black men are not tied at the hip, inseparable since birth, belong to each other or cannot live without one another. Black women have and will do fine: there are other men around. The oceans are very deep and wide. There’s plenty of fish there.

Black males with good jobs increasingly are marrying interracially. Those who are living the good life have decided on participating in the main stream without black women. They certainly do not miss us.

Remember, the first step for black women in moving towards a better life is getting out of a bad neighborhood. That’s common sense. But people don’t want to provide black women with this kind of life saving advice. Per their logic, we should sit, smolder and rot in hell along with black males who lack any sense of morality, decency or ability to function like a normal man.

This particular NY Times story may have a “happy ending”, but imagine having a predator back in the neighborhood with nothing to lose? That guy is not going to be the ideal spouse for any woman. And these people have a nerve recommending, suggesting or even thinking that that is good enough for the average black woman.

Comments

44 Responses to “Victimizing Black Women: NY Times Thinks Cure for Black Women and Black Family Poverty is “Let Em Out of Jail””

Truth P. February 19th, 2013 @ 10:35 AM

Unfortunately,there are too many people that believe if you had black men back in the home black children would fare better.This is problematic because a father simply being in the home with the children and not contributing in positive ways will not save the black family or the already dead black community.I think there comes a point where people have to realize that people with no morals and values just aren’t fit to parent and that too many DBR’s are making kids.I have a relative who has a live in baby daddy and it is because of him that her children were almost taken away and that the children had been injured while she was away at work.This could be said for many other women I see who are not married to the child’s father but he is living with them and is not helping make things better but actually making it worse.

We see how in some suburban black communities where there is a majority of two parent homes the children fail academically and domestic violence is rampant.

I keep hearing liberals such as Bill Maher claim that the drug laws are bad and should be changed so that more black men can be let out of prison.My problem with that is many of these men don’t value human life at all.To let them out of jail would prove deadly to thousands of people.I have also said how I never met a drug dealer that only dealt drugs.Many of them were pedophiles,murderers,and bullies/abusive to law abiding gun-less citizens.When I think of the saying God works in mysterious ways, I think about how if it hadn’t been for the drug and gun laws many of the men that tried to prey on my friends,and the man that impregnated my best friend at 12 years old,would not be behind bars.

I caution black women who have this mindset that more black men in the home would mean better situations for their children.I wholeheartedly believe that in more instances than not it will be worse.If you couple the fact that many of these men don’t value human life at all, with the specific disdain they have for black women, it could prove deadly spiritually and physically for many of them to welcome these men back with open arms.

GoldenAh: Excellent and so on point! Thank you for your comment, Truth P. You truly complement and add depth to my post. And you said it all, These men (and you are being kind calling them that) do not value human life at all.

The NY Times article, along with its supporters, pushing for early release and relenting of hard time for these guys want to pretend that their crimes have no victims. The only way someone could believe this is to pretend that the harm against black girls / women doesn’t account for anything. Compared to the outrage over cruelty to dogs (by Michael Vick, football player), I’d say yeah, that just about sums it up. Our lives have less value than dogs in the eyes of certain opinion makers.

My goal in pointing out this article was to show how insidious, amoral and deadly ideas – backed by “learned professionals” and disguised as “science” – can creep into the mainstream as viable options for us, but would never be recommended for any other group of (valued) women.

Oshun February 19th, 2013 @ 12:54 PM

“Black women have and will do fine: there are other men around. The oceans are very deep and wide. There’s plenty of fish there.

Black males with good jobs increasingly are marrying interracially. Those who are living the good life have decided on participating in the main stream without black women. They certainly do not miss us.”

I saw this up close. I am a member of multiple online forums. On one forum dedicated to upward mobility/life enhancement there are 2 upwardly mobile BM there. Most of the people on the boards are White. No one knows my race. Each member can have a thread where they “journal” their experiences with the coaching, tips, and techniques given – whether dealing with finances, jobs, relationships etc and you can get support feedback, new info, even some networking in real life etc..

The first BM was lamenting that he wanted to marry. He works with the military earns 400k a year. Travels extensively. All the women he dates have been white, but he says he is bothered that no BW will talk to him. He kept going on and on about BW and their so called lack of interest. Then he goes “someplace” and said that he was impressed that he met some BW who were fit, had manners, and interested in him etc.

So he and this BW “hit it off” and he claims that he is so excited etc.. She is 19 fresh out of high school and he is 31. He goes on and on about her behavior how she dotes/loves him as their relationship progresses etc.

Long story short he basically pumps and dumps her. He expressed gratitude that his job moved him away – which he knew was going to happen (but he didn’t tell her)even after meeting her family and oh well she will just have to deal with the fallout as he wasn’t going to be living there alone anyway.

Then he admitted that he only used her to satisfy his curiosity about BW- yes a BM said this. And now he was free to get back to what he really likes – blondes.

So now he has moved on to blonde women from third world countries and has the audacity to be disgusted that they expect something from him financially. Keep in mind that he approaches them with the I am seeking marriage – line.

I am leaving a lot out, but the way he set the BW up was so calculated and cruel… and he an the other BM poster joked with one another about how he steered this girl into womanhood the right way. Did I mention she was a virgin?

My heart went out to her. They didn’t steer her into womanhood – they are making her bitter and hardening her heart.

I was just floored that they would discuss exploiting women like this or even indulge in the negative stereotypes about BW like this..on a forum like this…in front of the white folks

So now he has moved on to another BW victim – while rotating his blonde victims. He had several bleeding ulcers and they had to take part of his intestines.

Long story short, a BW whom he met on a base while working his current job put on her superwoman cape and came to his rescue and took care of him throughout his illness. Cooking, cleaning, washing, and taking care of his affairs. He even moved her- along with his mother into a home near where the hospital was.

They all thought he was on his death bed so he marries her in the hospital, but makes her sign a pre-nup. After the marriage she expresses that she has issues with the pre-nup. His health improves some – so he annuls the marriage and puts her out of the house. He is still in the hospital and is talking about how he is skirt chasing and having sex with the nurses.

I am just done. This stuff is really cruel and very calculated. That someone sits and plots to break down another human being – women at that in this way. And they have no remorse about it at all. Hey I just destroyed another BW, but who cares…at least I’m, winning.

So um yeah…nothing good will come from BW associating with BM of any stripe and especially not those who are criminals and criminally minded.

GoldenAh: I gotta admit, I was stunned the first time I read this. I cannot believe someone so evil could exist. There are no words to describe this kind of foulness.

Oshun, you have been reading my mind again. I was wondering over the last weekend if there are “men” who are deliberately going around hurting women. Well, when you posted this you certainly answered my thoughts. I always question myself as to whether my observations about these cretinous troglodytes have been too harsh. Overall, it turns out I’ve been using a light touch – I’m too gentle.

I hope the girl in question turns out well. She has to guard her heart, but I hope it doesn’t change her into a bitter person. Otherwise, that animal has won. He should never be her last “man”.

Interesting how the other black women had a sixth sense about how evil this guy is. And one thing I want to add, which I don’t assume happened with these women. I’ve only been able to avoid guys like these due to one reason: they actually tell you how evil they are if one listens carefully. I know that’s not always the case. But some of these guys love to talk so much about what they are all about, but I think women like to tell themselves, “Well, with me, he’s gonna be different.” I had a gf who went with a guy who she knew liked to give his women “love taps”. It wasn’t until he slapped her that she saw the light (stars, circling planets, halos, etc).

And sometimes we, as black women, get browbeat by other bw about being too “fussy”. I cannot stand that. I prefer to trust my gut than have someone tell me I need to accept something that’s “off”.

Oshun February 19th, 2013 @ 12:56 PM

BTW..I have a strong feeling that either this guy will be dead or severely crippled by the time he is in his 40s.

GoldenAh: Oshun, I think you may have mentioned this kind of guy in the past. He’ll be in church hunting for a victim when he’s sick and old. He’ll find “Jesus”, sitting in church hoping someone young(er), dumb and desperate will take care of him, because he’ll be able to play he’s a “good black man”. Hey, he’s done it already, right?

LMH February 19th, 2013 @ 5:42 PM

The flawed logic in the linked article is simply mind-boggling! Instead of rehashing all the things wrong with how these poeple think I will just throw a few words out there that can make all the difference in a person’s life if applied with any regularity. CHOICES, RESPONSIBILITY, PLAN(ning), HARD-WORK…

GoldenAh: Your emphasis on what are the right things to do, cannot be said too many times. We have to think about the things we can control, while mess is being thrown at us. It’s all about swerving out of the path of the debris on the road.

There are gonna be people who will take that article, massage it a few times just to make this conclusive steaming pile of turd smell nice: that black women need to hook up with ex-cons, ’cause it helps her too!

Thanks for the feedback, LMH.

Nysee February 19th, 2013 @ 8:41 PM

Dear Betty,
Black women, the black man hates us. Plain and simple. I know they see the images of the president and think that how the black man feels about his woman. NO!, NO!, NO!.We all have heard of white flight.Will they allow the BM who left prison to live next door to them?
Black women , no one wants to be rejected and so to say they a person hates you does seem pretty harsh. Ihen I was around 21, I maxed out my credit cards for this guy who had a gambling problem and then he was abusive because I did not help him. Black women ,FLEE, FLEE, FLEE. We have the jobs so we can naivgate a little better and your children need to be in a school they do not have to worry if someone is going to shoot at them and do them harm after school. Please expand your dating options. my cousin got accepted in to Harvard and she applied for a school in London,. I asked her did she want to go and she said that her mother did not want her to travel that far.
Please encourage your daughters to explore all of their options.

GoldenAh: Great advice, Nysee. Good luck to your cousin, I hope she enjoys every opportunity that comes her way.

Nysee February 19th, 2013 @ 8:49 PM

Dea Betty,
pt. 2, this will be shorter.
1. Black women explore other safer areas ,I know crime happens everywhere but when your life is being threaten , meaning you fear going to the corner store because you do not know if you will make it back flee.
2. Ask around , your help will come from non-black people beacause people will help you and some may not be so black male identified.
3.If you have to produce a side income , please do so because your life is too valuable and your childrens lives are to.
4.Stop supporting these Black churhes and ONLY SUPPORT PEOPLE AND THINGS THAT LIFT YOU UP TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
donate to Betty Chambers site and buy books from fellow BWE, who you know are about your interests because maintain a blog is work and we will shwo them how we appreciate them through actions and spreading the good word.
They have the good news that is worth spreading.
Sorry for the long post and thanks Betty for being a terrific and great blog hostess.

GoldenAh: I can’t find it now, but there is a website where you can locate where sex offenders and the like are mostly residing. It is an eye opener. I’d recommend that anyone looking for a new place might be able to find it on those real estate websites, esp. if they list where the quality schools are.

Yeah, I found my first apartment from the white (male) co-workers at work. They were nearly terrified that I was going to end up moving into a bad neighborhood. I valued their advice, cause I didn’t know anything at the time.

I’d also like for us to make a short want / desire list – things you want, and you’re willing to challenge yourself to get (done), before the year’s end. Rewarding the self is one of the best treats for being bold. Of course, I need to do the same.

Reminds me of OJ and Nicole. He threw his black wife away as soon as he met Nicole (He was 30 – She was 18 when they first met) by having an affair before divorcing. Barely paid child support. But pampered Nicole and her family with anything she wanted. And you see how that marriage turned out. And even after he was accused of murder. His first wife still pathetically supported him despite the way he treated her.

During the trial. When the jurors went to OJ’s house. It was said that they replaced a nude painting of his white girlfriend with a reproduction of Norman Rockwell’s painting of Ruby Bridges being escorted to school in the Little Rock desegregation struggle. Another black man using black people’s struggle for civil rights to get him out of trouble.

And Johnnie Cochran is a sellout for defending a spoiled black man who beat his wife and eventually killed her. Even if black men don’t tell black women – ‘I’m never going to marry you. I’m just using you until someone better or non black comes along. I want you to do all the work in the relationship.

And if you complain. I’ll leave you for a more submissive or non black woman.’ They can see what black men are doing to them. These black women are so in denial. It’s pathetic. This has been happening for decades. How some black men use black women as a placeholder until their dream non black woman comes along. These NBABM and GATDL black women know these black men don’t treat them right.

Refusing to marry them. Man sharing. Calling them goldiggers when they ask for anything. Not doing their share or bringing anything to the relationship in terms of financially or with education etc. Until these NBABM black women step out of denial. They will always be gamed by DBR black men.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Problem_We_All_Live_With

Oshun February 19th, 2013 @ 11:30 PM

I must admit that I didn’t read the article. I just took Betty’s word. So I went back and did. I think this is pathetic.

The picture at the top says it all. He is turned away from her looking out into the sunset while she is holding on to him for dear life, with her eyes closed …so trusting, looking like her head is about to explode from the ecstasy/desperation of it all.

I noticed that the article said that he made 8.25 an hour. That is good considering he is an ex con with only a H.S. diploma and he is in his late 40′s. I am willing to bet that even if he were not an ex con he would still earn about that much.

They are trying to buy a house. With those prospects and that work history. She had been homeless due to him. They are going to die in poverty and have to work for the rest of their lives. If the marriage lasts that long bc of the financial strain. Or knock on wood – no one sustains an injury as menial/hard labor is very hard on the body.

I believe that he as many BM is only with her bc he is stuck. That is his only choice. If he didn’t have a record and could break the 8.25 barrier – she and his adult kids would be history.

Anyway…everyone else has made excellent points. Some of these men need to be incarcerated. Just because they are in the community doesn’t mean they are going to marry/support the children.

In general…I relayed that story (above) because I knew about DBRs and I knew they hated BW…but I thought it was a more reactionary/instinctual thing. Not that it makes it any better.

I had no idea that these men were so calculating in the way they plan to harm BW. This really drives home how amoral, evil, and dangerous these men are.

“I would like to see all these “educated” social scientists relocate to areas where the ex-cons are. I bet there’d hardly be any takers. ”

I would like to see all the educated people MARRY any of these ex-cons. Of course it’s peddled to black women that we should be accepting of any old piece of dirt black man. Whether or not he’s violent, uneducated, a dead beat or a criminal. And yet the same people who are purporting that black women put their lives at risk are never the ones doing it themselves.

GoldenAh: Good point, since in the NE anybody can marry whomever they like. Maybe some of those male social scientists should try reforming these fellows. Let them risk their own lives for a change.

KimP February 20th, 2013 @ 12:23 PM

As far as I’m concerned, more BM need to be in prison. I don’t know if you’ve heard about the big story on Detroit’s 11k backlog of rape kits. Most of the victims are BW with BM perps, which probably explains the backlog in the first place, so there are several BM who are still roaming free and wreaking havoc. The last thing BW need is more of them roaming around.

GoldenAh: No, I didn’t about the backlog. Although I am not surprised. I had read most of the these big cities have been under-reporting or reclassifying some categories in order to make the crime stats look good.

I don’t even know if it’s worth it to be angry. This article is anti-BWE because BWE is a success. Who is the article for? Reinforcing white paternalism. This is a mind trick speed bump designed to pacify BW, but it won’t work. Expect these articles but keep it moving so the young and clueless don’t get caught up.

GoldenAh: I’ve decided that it’s not actually anti-BWE, as much as it is the way social policy seeps from academia in coordination with the media, and eventually gets pushed as government policy. There’s no group of people more harmful to black women (most times) than those pretending that their goal is to “help us.”

Nysee February 20th, 2013 @ 9:10 PM

Dear Betty,
Khadija wrote a post about the peace walls are going up. Khadija has the gift of prophesy because everything she written ablout has been spot on. My cousin was suggesting that her sons go out with non- black women. Keep inmind that Black Women will fund this date and everything else. Also,I will like to suggest to black women to also seek some type of therapy. The reason I say this because most if not good majority of BM have rip to shreds the spirit of BW. They will call you up for sex and you will fund everything and then make a non-black women life more comfortable and make sure she is not in need. I was thinking how actor Sammy Davis Jr. married the white actress and he made sure her life was comfortable. His gets sick and goes to the Black Woman for nurse duties and she had to deal with his tax problems after he passed. she passed away a few years back but she never really got to enjoy her life maybe because she dealt with his problems. Black women please do oyour psyche a great justice and talk to someone. Because of the emotional abuse, you need to start healing and so you can navigatethe normal social circles where men protect women and not the other way around.
Betty, please keep up the fantastic work you are doing.

GoldenAh: Yeah, it’s okay not to be so giving. Even mainstream articles state that the biggest mistake a couple makes is spending too much. I think Valentine’s Day and Christmas probably causes more couples to break up than stay together. Too much emphasis on purchasing gifts to prove the extent of emotional ardor. Not a good thing.

I agree with the therapy, getting support or feedback on navigating through life. We are drowning in a lot of information these days, having some folks to use as a sounding board helps.

MsMellody February 20th, 2013 @ 10:59 PM

To Nysee–

A long standing ovation for ALL OF THIS;

” Also,I will like to suggest to black women to also seek some type of therapy. The reason I say this because most if not good majority of BM have rip to shreds the spirit of BW. They will call you up for sex and you will fund everything and then make a non-black women life more comfortable and make sure she is not in need. I was thinking how actor Sammy Davis Jr. married the white actress and he made sure her life was comfortable. His gets sick and goes to the Black Woman for nurse duties and she had to deal with his tax problems after he passed. she passed away a few years back but she never really got to enjoy her life maybe because she dealt with his problems. Black women please do oyour psyche a great justice and talk to someone. Because of the emotional abuse, you need to start healing and so you can navigatethe normal social circles where men protect women and not the other way around.
Betty, please keep up the fantastic work you are doing.”

And to Betty – I read the first few lines of this post and started to cry. I cried about the BW still in Blackistan who are going to be spoon fed this pablum and fall head first into being beheaded by the droves of DBR black men, their supporters (DBR male identified women) the all Black church ( yes I said it ) and Blackistani in general.

But alas…taking a deep breath…it feels great to be free of those circles and those thought police!!!

Keep moving, keep growing and expand your circles ladies!!

GoldenAh: I am so sorry, MsMellody for making you upset. That was not my intent. I relay these things with a cool eye. Although my writing may come across as a bit “hot”, that’s not how I really feel. I kinda feel like, “Ya’ll think ya’ll slick, right?”

But, as you say, this will have the “voice of authenticity” coming from the NY Times and “social scientists” and used as reinforcement for something we need to run from. This was also one of the most emailed articles on the Science page. Ugh.

Sorry, the OJ/Nicole post wasn’t relevant to the topic. What is relevant is that OJ was a black man that used his money to hire the best laywers – Johnnie Cochran another black man – and kept him out of jail. These black men covered for each other. Johnnie Cochran should have been taking these violent black men like OJ and putting them in jail. Instead, he turned it into a racial issue.

I think too many of you are caught up in emotionalism and being reactionary. Spectator BWE commentary with no follow through, still focusing on DBRs.If you already know better, do better. If you’re in a position to mentor someone else who wants it, do it. These articles should not be a surprise. What are you doing in response other than venting? Learn your enemy’s playbook so you may counterbalance it. As for Cochran, he and the rest of the Dream Team did their jobs. Lawyers defend guilty clients just as prosecutors go after innocent ones.

GoldenAh: Well, trying to control a conversation on a blog is like herding cats, which is next to impossible unless I want to close off comments. That doesn’t interest me, since it would be like I’m talking to myself.

I suspect everyone goes through their own process of approaching empowerment.

And I value just about everybody’s comments and feedback, whether it is venting, rants or not.

It’s your space and I hope I wasn’t disrespectful, but I have to ask where’s the moment for action? Those types of articles (or the BW will die alone) come out every other week. Maybe I think more highly of the audience in wanting certain steps taken. Maybe I’m off-base and expecting too much. When you’re getting into 2, 3, or even 5 years of similar activity with minimal progress from “supporters” is it wrong to want to poke people? The anti-BWE and BWE-lite obstructionists are not sitting by circling issues. They’re out actively obstructing or attempting to nullify legit-BWE work from both ends. Of course it’s every individual’s choice. Looking at the big picture, I am concerned and had to say something. Thanks.

Michele February 22nd, 2013 @ 9:10 PM

……

GoldenAh: I was going to let this one through, and then I decided not to. If you want to be foul and incoherent: do it on your own website.

No problem. Thanks for reading. Peace & Blessings. And keep up the good work.

GoldenAh: Thanks for stopping by, Michele. Take care.

Oshun February 23rd, 2013 @ 1:09 PM

I have been thinking about the article and wondering- why this, why now…what’s the agenda?

I know Faith mentioned white paternalism .., but even if I put myself in that position as kind white benefactor and all BM were so eager to be married to BW this still wouldn’t make sense as these men have lots of deficits that would not make them competitive to earn a living wage/support a family.

So I am trying to figure out who does this benefit? We know off the bat its not black women and children. We also know that incarceration is highly profitable.

There has got to be a con in here somewhere.

GoldenAh: From what I’ve read, the Department of Justice under Eric Holder is looking at letting ‘em loose. I guess that’s the thank you kiss from the Obama Administration for the massive black woman vote. Heh.

Usually when the government wants to craft policy they will need a scientific basis and excuse. So there’s a flow, specific coordinated messaging coming from the government, academia, non-profit institutions and the media whenever they want “change.”

Remember that these groups look at us as human lab rats: don’t ever forget the Tuskegee (syphilis) experiment. They do these things because they can, and they are fueled by curiosity mixed with indifference.

Lawd, LAWD keep ‘em in prison! The liberal NYT acts like black men are being snatched up by the police on their way to Sunday school. We all know that’s not what’s happening. Somebody should ask the geniuses who think BM should be let out en masse if they’d like THEIR daughters to marry these felons. The truth will be in the answer. But why bother–we’ll already know. Dysfunction is an acceptable option only to black women, right? riiiiight….

GoldenAh: Hi there, Christelyn! {{waving}} Long time no see. Great point about the daughters, none of those people would ever recommend such a thing for their own. They certainly make sure they aren’t even in the same zip code just to stay safe.

Congrats on all your successes, by the way.

Thanks for stopping by.

MsMellody February 26th, 2013 @ 8:23 AM

Hi Oshun!!!

I read your comment several days ago and I just couldn’t shake the soundtrack that started playing when I read the following;

.”The first BM was lamenting that he wanted to marry. He works with the military earns 400k a year. Travels extensively. All the women he dates have been white, but he says he is bothered that no BW will talk to him. He kept going on and on about BW and their so called lack of interest. Then he goes “someplace” and said that he was impressed that he met some BW who were fit, had manners, and interested in him etc.

So he and this BW “hit it off” and he claims that he is so excited etc.. She is 19 fresh out of high school and he is 31. He goes on and on about her behavior how she dotes/loves him as their relationship progresses etc.

Long story short he basically pumps and dumps her. He expressed gratitude that his job moved him away – which he knew was going to happen (but he didn’t tell her)even after meeting her family and oh well she will just have to deal with the fallout as he wasn’t going to be living there alone anyway.

Then he admitted that he only used her to satisfy his curiosity about BW- yes a BM said this. And now he was free to get back to what he really likes – blondes. ”

That soundtrack clip was the sound of The Predator. You know that click clicking sound that “the predator” makes when that thing is up in the trees before that thing turns on his invisibility shield…Yeah..that sound.

All I could think about was this so called man from the military talking one way to please, calm and put into a daze the woman that he has in his sights.

That highly paid and decorated and promoted and shiny shoe wearing thing that you quoted from is just that – a Predator.

And one more thing, if one were to just take away his highly paid job, decorated uniform ( not sure if he is a civilian employee of the military – but for the sake of my dreadlock wearing alien military decorated Predator comparison I’ll go with this man being a decorated soldier )shiny shoes, well traveled stories of people and places – this man that you quoted from is just a low-life, oiled up thug in the club that found a way to travel the world and ‘manipulate” the opportunity of meeting as many blondes as he could get his hands on.

Oshun February 26th, 2013 @ 2:18 PM

@Ms Mellody

Hi! (waving) Yes.

I am not so much concerned about the blonde thing. Its no secret that most BM want the whitest they can get/afford. And blondes tend to have and use back up in the forms of cohesive families, sister women, culture(s)/white privilege/and law enforcement that protect them and move them along to where they need to be.

My thing is that BGs/BW need to seriously heed the advice to flee or as I ranted a while back on Betty Chambers to stop having sex with BM. BW lack a lot of the protections and guidance that these other women have or they refuse to consistently use the ones available to them – so they need to leave BM alone.

I am afraid that some BW who deal with BM of this type think things like there is a “missed connection” or he was “the wrong one/not all are like that/just didn’t work out” let me try another. Rinse/repeat horrible experience where you are taken advantage of and used.

This was so calculated. This man met her family. He had no problem fronting in front of her parents and they probably thought – oh wow, this is the fabled unicorn/good BM/exception to the rule. Except he was not.

And his mom was an enabler as she saw him do the same to another BW – the one who took care of him when he was sick.

Ms Mellody I can hear the clicking sound too. Some of those shows that I listened to – you summarized in one word – predatory. That is what it felt like listening to them. It was predator training for BM. Listening to those romance shows felt like the battle of the depraved. It was like announcing we have no morals, no ethics, and this is what you must do as women to deal with the depraved to maybe get your BM.

Oshun February 26th, 2013 @ 2:32 PM

@ Goldie

“From what I’ve read, the Department of Justice under Eric Holder is looking at letting ‘em loose. I guess that’s the thank you kiss from the Obama Administration for the massive black woman vote. Heh.”

This has got to be a joke. If I take the high road and think that Pres. Obama’s heart is in the right place – then I think that he is projecting his own father issues onto BW and single motherhood. He was abandoned and needed his father. That creates a wound and makes him human. I get that.

I am not a fan of single motherhood, but unleashing a torrent of criminal men into communities of vulnerable women and children in the hopes that they will marry and create functional families is misguided at best.

These men:

1. more than likely suffer from colorism and racio misogyny
2. face bleak employment/mobility prospects
3. are fatherless themselves and don’t have many of the skills to be a good husband, parent, community member
4. are more criminally minded than when they were initially incarcerated
5. may have STIs such as hepatitis, herpes, or HIV after serving such long term sentences

“Remember that these groups look at us as human lab rats: don’t ever forget the Tuskegee (syphilis) experiment. They do these things because they can, and they are fueled by curiosity mixed with indifference.”

Definite indifference. I think this is the beginning of the genocide that will bring the peace walls for whomever is left. I keep thinking genocide. I know that sounds extreme, but if you really want to erase/reduce the numbers of a group then this is a good way of doing it. The ex felons will kill one another and innocent BW and children. Either other folks hope that is the plan or this will be the excuse to call in outside forces to finish things up with innocent BW and children being the collateral damage. I don’t know why, but this is what I am feeling.

There can be no good reason or purpose for this type of policy.

GoldenAh: Well, the INS is letting illegals out of jail. Both the President and Napolitano claim they didn’t know anything about this. And those who were set free are the ones who are a danger to society. Anybody still feel safe?

I remember having a conversation with my uncle(s) about why I wouldn’t live in certain neighborhoods. He said, “I find nothing wrong with them.” And I replied, “You are a man. You have no idea what it’s like to try to walk a couple of blocks and be harassed day in and day out. These places are not safe for black women.” He finally saw where I was coming from, because he really had no idea what it was like. He was oblivious.

A lot of black men just don’t see some neighborhoods as being “bad”, they don’t see what life is like for the black women and girls that live there. Frankly, I don’t think anybody considers our safety at all. Even the black women that live there want to play stupid about it. I mean ask some about how awful it is and they get this attitude (chip on the shoulder), “Well, every place is like that.” I call B.S. on that. They are living in the worse neighborhoods, but want to play that other areas have similar levels of crime and savagery. Not in a million years.

You see how quickly and easily it was to conclude that unleashing these men back into black areas where black women and children are living in hell would make it worse? Common sense, right? These people already know this, but watching the results will be the fun part for those “social scientists” and advocates of this policy.

Brenda55 February 27th, 2013 @ 12:37 AM

“There can be no good reason or purpose for this type of policy.”

Reason. Yep. Not a good one for those having to deal with the situation.

The Government really does not want to pay to warehouse, poor black men for long periods of time. Remember from the article,

“They remain inmates into middle age and old age, well beyond the peak age for crime, which is in the late teenage years.

So say the social scientists.

The government just wants to keep these guys locked up until they have calmed down and are not as much of a threat to the general population. They get to go back home where these men can be victimized by the younger toughs of their communities and be a financial and health burden on their women folks their families.

Remember poor men do not participate in the welfare system to the same extent that poor women and children do. Poor men are expensive when incarcerated.

While it is true that these men will not be contributing much to society at large because they lack the skills to do so. They were not contributing while in prison so it is a wash.

Again putting these men back in the community is a cheaper alternative than incarcerating them.
they can access any number of low wage jobs and live off the resources of their families.

GoldenAh: You are so on the money! Waiting until they calm down and turning them loose before they become sick, infirm and medically expensive. Unfortunately, there will be recidivism, there will be new victims, and since some of these guys have no homes to go to, they will ultimately end up homeless.

Oshun February 27th, 2013 @ 12:49 PM

@Brenda55

I agree with many of your points with the exception of the reason being that they are poor.

Prisons generate a lot of money for certain communities and the cheap/nearly free labor they provide can rival China.

“They remain inmates into middle age and old age, well beyond the peak age for crime, which is in the late teenage years….. Poor men are expensive when incarcerated.”

This for me is key. But not because they are poor. Maybe because they are “old”? If you have an older/aging/elder inmate (that has lived a hard life both in and outside of prison) and they require increasing levels of care – then the cost of maintaining a large swath of inmates would probably cost more than its worth. It would cut into the prison’s profit margins.

“and be a financial and health burden on their women folks their families.”

I do think this is a likely result and can create a socio-economic storm that will drag BW even further down.

And I am not convinced by the social scientists either that these guys are no longer a threat. Especially middle aged ones. Look at all the DBR 40 and 50 year olds who still wreak havoc.

Sisterlocgirl February 27th, 2013 @ 3:23 PM

“The inmates are older and cost more to house.”Ding!Ding!Ding! There you have it. I have experience with the prison industrial complex and yes, the healthcare costs associated with these inmates is quite high indeed. Many prison systems are doing everything they can to cut that cost, even going so far as to grant medical releases to some of these folk. Yes, the writing is most definitely on the wall. The ” takers ” are going to be expunged from the system in whatever manner possible.

MsMellody February 27th, 2013 @ 9:03 PM

Hi Brenda55 {waiving} and Sisterlocgirl {waiving}!!!!!!

To both of you..so glad to see you all!!

If I can chime in on the “Ding Ding Ding” Jeopardy ( pun intended ) bonus round..lol..

This issue of the older inmates being let out and like Brenda55 so deftly pointed out..”and be a financial and health burden on their women folks their families. – This right here is the exact thing that the prison system is both aware of and counting on.

They know that there are en masse numbers of single black women hold up in the Black churches “waitin’ and prayin’”..and “waitin’” for their bm’s.

There will be a many “alter calls” for brother so in so home from the penitentary prayers..leading to cake and coffee in the kitchen later where he will be paraded around and in effect shown to the en masse “waitin’ and prayed up” single ministry ministry roster..oh my gosh I am almost falling off my chair in hysterical sad laughter at the sight of this!!!!!

Just waitin’ and prayed up willing to be the caretakers of these now newly released inmates… Just so sad..and ALL AVOIDABLE!!!

Inmates as it was pointed out earlier -who will have zero or NEXT to zero capabilities of gainful employment, no ability to save and purchase a home for you and any child you may or may not bring into the whole nightmare scene.

There are so many traps in Blackistan, Blackistani thought processes, people etc!!!!

Please ladies let’s keep our heads on right, keep moving, keep up with soical mobility cues and work toward those outside connections that will actually save your life and the lives of those you claim to love.

GoldenAh: A long long time ago, back when I was a student commuting to work / school, I remember a guy sitting across from me on the train. He smiled broadly while studying me. He seemed so pleased with himself. Surprised, I stared at him. He smiled again, saying, “I just got out of jail!” My mouth dropped. I think he was waiting for me to say or do something, like that was THE pickup line a young black woman couldn’t resist. I avoided eye contact with him after that, worried he might come over and start talking to me. I’ll never forget that day. It was so weird. I didn’t know back then there were people proud of going to jail, like it was a rite of passage for reaching manhood. {{Shaking my head}} But some people have nothing else to look forward to in life….

Brenda55 February 27th, 2013 @ 9:38 PM

Oshun: Agreed. Once booted from prison the medicaid system will cover their health care with family members (the women folk) as care givers. I also agree with you about the middle age ex-con.

MsMellody {{waving back}} What is wrong with you? You don’t want to clean a brotha up after paying his debt to society? Me neither. Let the ladies in waiting have them.

Nysee February 27th, 2013 @ 10:01 PM

Dear Betty,
I was also thinking about Jesse Jackson Jr.
He will be added to roster of Black men in prison. They ralled bejind him big time and Sandy, as usual the BW take the fall for her man. Talk about your DBR and educated.She went along because he knew that when, not if he is caught, she will take fall and when they were showing them at his father church, Sandy was nowhere in sight. They were embracing him and she was nowhere to be seen.Keep those negroes in jail. They set the system up to make money off them , now you ae tired and now let them loose. I think so. My niecearm was broken because some DBR Black boy ran into her arm and she was in a cast. Her mother silent. Crickets. But had that been boy of another race, my God, the outcry and everything elese. The people work there claim they did not see anything. Yea right. Black women FLEE, FLEE, FLEE. If you have to deliver pizzas part time , do WHATEVER, legal of course to get out of Blackistan. The peace wall are going up, up and away and before you know it, you won’t know what hit you. Several pizza places and delivery companies are looking for help. If you have to drop of you neighblr to their jobs. People you know and our familiar with, please do so. If you have to have home parties selling cosmetics or something you like , please do do what is neccessary becasue they can say release them and then when they atart coming into yuor neighborhoods, another tone will be taken.
Betty, keep up the excellent work.

GoldenAh: It’s not enough just to want to move. The desire to never associate and stay away from toxic people has to be there as well. Folks always promise themselves life will be different when they move to a new address. But trouble can find you anywhere. They can easily meet the same kind of the knuckleheads in the new neighborhood, or let the old “friends” find them there. The change has to more than a new address. It has to be who that black woman wants to be, and be with, as well.

Who we socialize with defines who we are. We cannot get away from that.

Oshun February 28th, 2013 @ 4:22 PM

Sisterlocgirl! I kind of had that feeling. There is no way they were doing this just to be kind.

Ms Mellody…I can how the church would feel some sort of obligation/charity towards helping (too bad this doesn’t extend towards BW), but these men should not be pushed towards BW (unless they are also cons) in any fashion. I can envision the scenario you described playing out clearly and I am sure the church can apply a lot of pressure on BW esp of the single upwardly mobile variety to accept this.

GoldenAh: I don’t know if anyone remembers this story, a couple of years back a high income, well educated black woman (I think it was in Ohio), decided she wanted to domesticate one of the ex-cons she did therapy with. She married him too.

You can guess how he thanked her, right?

I’d rather take my odds playing pick 3 lottery everyday than one of those guys.

Oshun February 28th, 2013 @ 4:31 PM

@Brenda55

Hi Brenda!

In my state if the sequester occurs Friday 300,000 people in my state will immediately lose Medicaid coverage between now and August 2013, tens of thousands of children will not be vaccinated this year, WIC will cut 200,000 children from the rolls, and SNAP benefits will be cut for similar numbers of people. These are just a few of the cuts that will occur.

Once gone, I don’t see these benefits coming back. I think the ultimate goal is to eradicate the programs altogether. My governor is Republican and he has been on TV for the past few days visibly shaking. He knows that these cuts to the public sector will cripple this state. At least two military bases will be shut down completely and according to him we will no longer have a functioning Nat Guard/Reserve. We also will lose several thousand teachers and pre k education.

So by the time this policy rolls around, I don’t think there will be a Medicaid and if so I think it will be more difficult to get and fewer people will be allowed on it.

GoldenAh: The sequester is Obama’s brainchild. He also has the POWER to DECIDE where to make the “cuts”. It’s all in his hands. These sequester “cuts” are basically the government not spending as much as it would have before. Meaning that instead of spending $5 tomorrow, they are opting for $4.85. The difference is being called “cuts”. I love how the media and the White House have been pushing the hysteria on this… Just love it. Despite what they say, it’s not the end of the world. Clinton had budget cuts and everyone managed to live.

The $16 trillion that these geniuses have us all in debt for is equal to about $50k to $250k for every man, woman and child in this country. I think it depends on if you want to include those entitlement programs like Medicare, Medicaid & Social Security.

I honestly wish the IRS would send everyone that amount as a tax bill. All this BS coming from the government would end in a nanosecond. Maybe they’d take their jobs seriously too. Naw….

Oshun February 28th, 2013 @ 4:31 PM

So what in the world can we do to help/reach other women on the practical level?

Oshun – ‘So what in the world can we do to help/reach other (black) women on the practical level?’

All we can do as black women is alert them to sites and articles like these about empowering black women. That also show them the deteroriation of the black community. Show them real world examples of dbr black men like ‘Military Man’ who are gaming and using black women daily – but doing the opposite to non black women.

Show them all the successful black men who marry mostly other races of women. And who are not using any of their money to help the black community. Their using it to spoil and pamper their white wives. Show them examples of the black women who have fled from ‘The Black Community’ and are living happy healthy lives.

That’s all we can do. But there will always be some black women who are in denial and don’t want to face the facts until its too late. FYI – Its also important to be careful who you help. Some black women have ended up hurt or dead from trying to help other black women.

Christa – FYI – ‘Its also important to be careful who you help. Some black women have ended up hurt or dead from trying to help other black women (or other black people).’

Yes! How many stories have we heard of black women who helped or hooked up with dbr black women or men. Only to have them to be hurt or killed by the very people they were trying to help? Black women need to be careful and selective in who they choose to help.

Because some people are dangerous and you won’t know until its too late to stay away from certain people – There was a story on tv about two black girls who grew up as best friends. One girl was a college graduate. The other girl was a high school drop out that hung out with the wrong people and got pregnant.

Her friend took her and her baby in.
But the girl eventually became resentful of having to rely on her friend financially and of telling her how to raise her baby – Despite the fact that she was penniless and had no one else to rely on. She also wasn’t spending all the money her friend gave her on the baby.

They eventually got into an argument about not paying back money. And the girl with the baby killed her friend who was the only person that was helping her. The girl should have left her friend alone. She was a college graduate and could have been married and living the good life.

Instead she got involved in her friend’s messy life which eventaully caused her own death. Who was resentful that she had to rely on her friend – even though she was the only one to help her in her time of need. Some people don’t deserve help.

MsMellody March 4th, 2013 @ 7:14 PM

To Karla –

Your point could not be better said than the story you related!! Wow.

I believe I remember reading something similar to this story in the news..or a new report.

I think Nysee said it best earlier in these comments;
“..Black women FLEE, FLEE, FLEE..”

I’d like to repeat that;
Black women FLEE, FLEE, FLEE!!!!

In life sometimes when you let go of somethings/someplaces etc..you also have to make sure that those somethings/someplaces LET GO OF YOU TOO!!!

You do this by – not going back, not visiting as often, cutting those phone conversations short to OFF notice how I said that…”short to OFF”.

I had to do this!! There was one so called friend in particular whom I saw had a marked difference in her tone/attitude with me when she saw that I was serious about moving my program forward in life.

When I made the DECISION to cut her out…I made the phone conversations shorter, shorter, then OFF. I knew that I didnt need nor want her in my life, nor her attendant friends/associates etc.

NONE of these people were “bad” people in the sense of law breakers etc.

They were just BAD for ME. And younger ladies who read this comment – real maturity begins when you start listening to that inner voice of confidence that tells you when something is not “quite right”. That maturity level is there in your conscious to save your life.

Yes black women need to flee from anyone who is looking for a handout. Or who will try to guilt them into thinking they will die and their kids will starve to death if you don’t help them. They want black women to spend their life being a mammy/mule.

I have a woman friend who has tried to take on her family’s problems. Raising her sister’s kids (who wants to have more) and her own child while dealing with her own dbr black boyfriend. And she doesn’t see how this situation is keeping her in a life of poverty and misery. I decided to cut contact with her and her family. Because the men in their life either don’t have anything going for them. Or they have the potential to be dangerous.

I’m a college graduate that has a bachelors degree in communications. I’m trying to get certified as a life coach. And would like to get married within the next year. The previous woman friends that I cut off are content to work the same dead end jobs while dating loser dbr black men. I’m not about that life. I’m not here for that.

GoldenAh: That’s the distinction we have to remember, quite a number of black women are not going to change, because they are very very CONTENT with where they are and what they have. We may as well be spitting in the wind attempting to change some people.

As others have mentioned, like Faith, not everybody will be on the same page about making life better for themselves. That’s okay.

I write, because I want to encourage black women who want better to hear the message that they can. They are as deserving of an enriching life as anybody else on this planet.

JaliliMaster March 5th, 2013 @ 12:19 PM

“I’m not about that life. I’m not here for that.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself. I think that a lot of bw only see other bw as being ‘bad‘ for them if these women are actively engaged in criminal activity or constant stupidity. One does not have to be a bad person to be bad for you! They may even be a good person or even a good friend. If they associate with undesirable elements or have a habit of displaying irresponsible behaviour, it is best to cut your losses and move on.

MsMellody March 5th, 2013 @ 5:25 PM

Hi Jallimaster !!

You set out that fine distinction very well!!

Yes and yes again to this ..”If they associate with undesirable elements or have a habit of displaying irresponsible behaviour, it is best to cut your losses and move on.”…

This is how many a black women who were well situated to make that “next” step got sidetracked.

This one – the old not making those key distinctions will get you killed. Just like in that example Karla sited above.

Both these girls had been friends – a perfectly normal natural thing.

Then life continued and where that one girl – the deceased one – made the mistake is when her friend exhibited bad decision making over and over and over again;

Hung out with bad people – strike one – because we all know the company you keep speaks volumes about yourself.

Dropped out of high school – yellow flag on the field.

Had a baby – most likely no attendant father to the child. Red flag. Full stop.

The rest is just lather rinse repeat.

Flee Flee Flee.

Oshun March 8th, 2013 @ 12:59 AM

Hello All,

When I was referring to helping – I wasn’t talking about getting personally involved in situations that would bring harm to us. I was thinking more along the lines of what Khadijah encouraged us to do when she did the Parkour(sp) post.

At that time I volunteered to show safety videos. I had a hard time (because the org didn’t think it was important), but at least I felt like I helped in that I gave them something they could use at some point.

GoldenAh: I once had a friend that it took me a over a year, maybe more, just to convince her to seize an opportunity that was right there for the taking. She was so stuck in a certain mindset that it was difficult to pry her from it. It was one step, which took weeks and months of simply talking to her every other day at lunch time. Some people cannot see the forest for the trees: a few require a modest suggestion, others a gentle nudge and the rest a sledgehammer.

As for specific suggestions: I dunno know. If there are good ideas on other sites, link to them, I have no problem with that.

Oshun March 8th, 2013 @ 1:09 AM

Hi Goldie!

I didn’t know about the illegals being released. That may be a push for the genocide. If we are talking criminals some are involved with MS 13 & the Mexican Mafia and they have given the go ahead to exterminate Blacks in California – at least since I last lived there. And they tend to move into Black neighborhoods.

Yes, I think many BM even decent ones (not nice guy ™) have no concept of seeing BW’s gender and how we are treated and affected differently by circumstances. How they have a lot more safety and freedom of movement just because they are men.

“These people already know this, but watching the results will be the fun part for those “social scientists” and advocates of this policy.”

I think that’s the intent. If they know to reserve a place in prison in 10 years for a 2nd grader today – then they must know and desire a certain outcome.

GoldenAh: I’d really like to know why our politicians feel the need to prioritize illegals over citizens. This kind of mindset has been going on since NAFTA. There’s always been cross boarder traffic between the countries, but these days it involves people who don’t like the USA, or its people, but wont go back to where they came from. Makes no sense to me. Having been to Mexico a few times, I can see why they’d want to leave, but if they expect to enjoy to a higher quality of life in the USA, bringing the same mindset won’t change much for them. Rampant crime and poverty will be with them wherever they go.

And it’s easy to bully black families. The media always fails to mention that the victimized black family is composed of a single black woman with a bunch of children. So, she’s extremely vulnerable. These people wouldn’t move into other areas where there are MEN ready to defend their families. Only “black communities” are weak in this manner. We’ve seen this kind of community fragility with Katrina and when other disasters hit black areas. You look around and it’s a bunch of struggling black women alone with their children.

Black men have a lot of freedom. Lots of it. Yet, the only thing black people can rally around is whether everybody is treating, nurturing and babying them sufficiently. Black women don’t even remember to consider themselves.

Dreadnaught March 19th, 2013 @ 11:54 AM

Hey folks,

I am not going to pretend to be a expert, ya know being a white guy and all.

@GoldenAh –

1)The reason immigrants are getting treated better is they are new voters, they give politicians the chance to exploit and abuse a new voter. NAFTA was never about us as a nation it was a attempt to bring in more money to the already rich.

2) Black woman have long been the target of exploition of the politicians. The reason being (now I could be wrong here) is the woman almost always seems to be the head of the family.

A great example is the current GUN control debate. It is easy to point out to the woman that their,sons, husbands, brothers etc are gonna be the victims, its emotional black mail.

I wish I had more to add, but keep up the good work ladies your doing great on your own. BTW not all of the good white guys are in the city, alot of us are hunters,fishers,handy, country moving loving, nascar fans who still like the lovely darker ladies in the world!

Yeah, the only thing gun control does is take guns out of the hands of honest citizens, leaving them defenseless to criminals who don’t abide by any laws. When I first went down south, I was kinda shocked at how many people drove around with a rifle / shotgun rack right out in the open. Keeps everyone polite, I suppose.

You are so right about those social scientists not moving into the neighborhoods of those immoral criminals that prey on Black women and their children. The day I hear of one of these so-called ‘scientists’ move their women and children into Blackistan, I will be surprised.

Why is it that Black women seem to be easily sacrificed by the mainstream media? I know why! It’s because we have begun to own our image and they are running scared! An empowered Black woman seems to be the bunch in their panties. Oh well! I’m not buying their crappy ‘science’ and never will!

GoldenAh: Just because someone is from the gov’t, a well known school / institution, or wearing a white lab coat, doesn’t mean they’ve earned a benefit of the doubt. Here’s an example of scientists viewing us as lab rats: NY Times, The Immortal Cells of Henrietta Lacks.

Long story short: they harvested the cells of a black woman, and didn’t tell her or her family. Because the cells are unique – these scientists have been harvesting and compiling data on the family’s DNA (w/out permission) for years. Europeans recently published a scientific story about the cells, and what they discovered about the family’s DNA, but once notified had the good grace to pull it.

Dreadnaught March 27th, 2013 @ 1:39 PM

its a mess and to be honest you ladies can do more to balance this out then alot of others.

@Golden AH
I grew up in the city, I live in Philly, but I am moving into the rural areas soon as I pay off the last of my credit cards. I hunt,fish,crab, do my own home repairs. I do not make much money so what I got needs to last, but I am happy. You maybe shocked but in the 80s and even early 90s people in Philly had gun racks in their trucks too.

reese June 5th, 2013 @ 10:36 PM

How many of these men would even be in home? There are plenty of black men who are not in prison who are still not in home with their kids. And what kind of father’s would they be? Are the kids or women going to be safe?

GoldenAh: I just wish people would have some concern for their offspring. If they want to be adolescents for the rest of their lives, then they can do it without bringing kids into this world. Lot of these “males” should just opt for getting “fixed” instead of having 15-20 kids they don’t want to raise, shelter or nurture. It’s criminal behavior to be like this.

Oshun on Merry Christmas and Happy New YorkTinfoil hat time. Why do I get an uneasy feeling about this?
http://www.cnn.com/2014/08/02/health/ebola-outbreak/index.html
They airlifted this dr to one of the …

Oshun on Merry Christmas and Happy New Yorkhttp://www.alternet.org/economy/marriage-becoming-luxury-rich
Here is an article discussing marriage trends since 1990. More reasons for BW to improve themselves and to move …