Total Retribution (2011) - after 200 years in suspended animation, a woman wakes up on a space station in orbit around earth. Soon she meets up with some "soldiers" who are there to stop the big cannon on the station from destroying earth. This is the third time I've watched this - it's terrible but seems to have grown on me. I guess I like the overall visual style of the thing, or something lol. Acting is terrible, with some of the "soldiers" acting like 18 year old jock douchebags. CGI is especially comical; every gunfight has blood splatter effects that look like somebody put a sheet of clear Lucite a few feet in front of the camera and fired red paintballs at it. Except it's CGI so it looks even more fake. I'm assuming all the special effects were done by some kid on his iPad. Then there's the little problem with the fact that this girl was supposedly in suspended animation for 200 years, yet later in the movie we find out she was only put in there a few hours ago. Kind of a major plot point there, but oh well. 3/5.

I'd seen the sequel to LOST SKELETON, found it funny, but not as funny as I'd hoped, figured this might be the same, but DARK AND STORMY NIGHT is definitely its own picture, although it uses the same cast, plus a few more recognizable actors. Recommended.

« Last Edit: April 16, 2013, 02:25:46 PM by alandhopewell »

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If it's true what they say, that GOD created us in His image, then why should we not love creating, and why should we not continue to do so, as carefully and ethically as we can, on whatever scale we're capable of?

The choice is simple; refuse to create, and refuse to grow, or build, with care and love.

TROLLHUNTER - follows a trio of Norwegian film students stalking what they think is a bear poacher, but the truth .... well, it's spelled out right there in the title. Pretty good use of the "found footage" gimmick, but like all found footage horror it ends in a really stupid way. 7/10

Nuclear tests cause earthquake, waking up a sleeping giant reptile monster with an appetite for fuel and destruction. The fire-breathing Godzilla knock-off also has a blinking horn on its forehead that can shoot lazerbeamz. The military interferes but a 10 year old boy seems to have found a way to stop the rampaging beast.

Tame Asian monster sci-fi a bit on the boring side. Yongary's loud growls are looped and get tiresome real quick. In the end the little kid is made out to be a hero by reporters during a interview, even though the kid is only acting his age by babbling his limited opinion about the situation and cutely embarrassing his older sister into marriage and pregnancy. Highlight shows Yongary actually dancing to surfer muzak (don't ask). 3/5

Alien Dawn (2012) - War of the Worlds movie with Martian tripods attacking earth. It follows three people - two guys who have been friends for a while and a girl they just met - as they hide out in an abandoned building, argue a lot, and eventually cook up some homemade explosives which prove far more effective against the tripods than the entire US military. Ooooookay. Characters and plot were tolerable. The tripods actually looked kind of cool. I liked it a little better than the Tom Cruise version; at least there weren't any screaming kids and it was more of a movie as opposed to an ILM tech demo and Tom Cruise vehicle. 2.5/5.

Happiness (1998)-Probably the darkest I have ever seen a movie go while still remaining funny throughout. Personally I thought this was an absolute masterpiece but be warned this is not for everyone. Pedophilia, suicide and sexual obsession are just a couple of the subjects we encounter in this film. Here's the opening scene.

Lawless (2012)-This one didn't interest me too much when I saw trailers for it last year but it was on TMN so I gave it a chance. While not on par with recent westerns like "Assasination of Jesse James" or "310 to Yuma" this still has a lot going for it. Firstly the cast is pretty fantastic with great performances from Tom Hardy, Gary Oldman (although he's only there for a bit) and Guy Pierce makes for a terrific villain. The biggest surprise was that Shia Lebouf who I don't really care for usually actually did a great job in the leading role. The plot centers around a gang of bootleggers during prohibition and their struggle to maintain their livelihood in the face of increasing pressure from the Deputy (Pierce). It's not perfect and some of the characters (especially the ladies) feel underwritten. I also thought they went a bit overboard with the brutality of the violence here. Overall I enjoyed it throughout and would say it's well worth a watch despite a few issues.

Final movie night at the last Drive-In Theater and they are showing four tales of the weird and macabre. Plus a bonus zombie flick for real.Chillerama could have been the Grindhouse for Drive-In's but the makers optioned to go the Gross-Out Comedy route instead. Nothing wrong with that but it's not really everybody's cup of tea so to speak. Though one could argue it was "refreshing" in a Troma-like sort of way. However, beyond all the tasteless and offensive stuff lies a clever little genre-homage and the first two segments are hilarious indeed. 3.5/5

THAT OBSCURE OBJECT OF DESIRE (1977): A rich old man (Fernando Rey) courts 18-year old Conchita (who, with no explanation, is played by two different actresses) over the years, but she seems to be toying with him, and he never achieves the object of his desire. In Bunuel's previous THE DISCREET CHARM OF THE BOURGEOISIE (1972) the attendees at a dinner party could never eat because of continual interruptions; in this droll comedy, Rey can never... you know. 4.5/5.

See No Evil (2006) - a group of young prison inmates are sent to an old hotel to help renovate the place, in exchange for getting some time off their sentences. Unfortunately for them there's a hulking maniacal killer living on the top floor, and their numbers get thinned out pretty quickly. This is surprisingly un-bad for a World Wrestling Entertainment movie with wrestler Kane as the killer (wisely they gave him about 1 1/2 lines of dialog). The budget was 8 million according to IMDb, which is quite high for a slasher movie. Characters, well they weren't sympathetic and they were fairly cliched, but they were acted well enough and provided some entertainment. The hotel wasn't really spooky at all, but it was full of cockroaches and flies; guess they were going for gross instead of scary. 3/5.

Warriors of the Wasteland (1983) - Italian post-apocalyptic thing about a guy driving around in a goofy looking car fighting against a bunch of goofy guys who call themselves The Templars, who want to kill every remaining human being on earth. Or at least in the area. The guy meets up with a girl, as well as some other warrior guy, and they eventually have a big showdown against the bad guys. What can you say lol, it's got little to no acting, the plot is nonsensical and cheesy, and the frequent gunfights are good for a laugh. 2.5/5.