January 29, 2014

What’s Cracka Lackin’ Savages? TooooDay, I thought I’d share some of my thoughts on Buggin’ Out and Hunkerin’ Down. Pick a reason, it doesn’t matter too much as long as it’s disastrous. Got a reason? No, no, that’s too far. Let’s not say Apocalypse or Ragnarok. If you’re going to pick something like that, all you need to do is put your head as far between your legs as you can and kiss the donkey. Let’s pick something a little less fanciful; like say really bad weather. Not just bad weather , really bad weather– weather bad enough to get a name that sounds like a Russian ballerina. Or perhaps, the grid going down due to a super explosion at a power plant…something like that.

Alright, alright, ALRIIIIGHT! Fine! Zombies, its zombies, you can friggin’ pick zombies. What…Ever. It doesn’t really matter all that much. First I want to examine the stages of a disaster and how to react to those in a reasonable fashion. You don’t want to just grab a bunch of shit, zip off to the mountains and build some kind of hut only to find out three months later that it was simply a bit of rain and a downed power line and you’ve become a no good poacher who may or may not have killed a pedestrian while haulin’ ass out of town. On that same note, having a little crazy on your jacket ain’t so crazy when your house is brick and the other little piggy that picked straw is now getting eaten by a wolf. You don’t go and help do you? cause fuck that pig! Bacon tastes good, pork chops taste good. You are heartless…I’d help though, I’d help that little pig. But, then again I am a Gentleman…

Let’s get a few terms straight, there’s a difference between BOB (Bug Out Bag), GHB (Get Home Bag, not to be confused with the drug or GBH the punk band) and BOL (Bug Out Location). The differences are simple, a “Get Home Bag” is designed to get you from where ever you’re at to home, a “Bug Out Bag” gets you from home (or where ever) to your “Bug Out Location” and your “Bug Out Location” is where you hunker down. Let’s say you have a ton of emergency preparedness gear and supplies stockpiled at your homestead, but the world ends while you’re at work. All your prep and stacks of spam are useless until you can get to it. That’s where the Get Home Bag comes in.

Why have a GHB? In the event of a major earthquake, where telephones are not working and the roads are screwed, most of use will want to get home to survey the damage and meet up with loved ones. The problem is, what if you can’t drive there? The roads are a wreck, the highways are nothing more than a parking lot or perhaps you rushed out of the house with only enough petrol to get you to work, figuring you’d top off before heading home. In any case you might be a 20-30 mile commute to home base with nothing but your shoes to get you there. Let’s put that in perspective; that’s a 30 minute-ish drive…but a marathon is just over 26 miles…that’s over 42 Klicks. An Olympian can run that in just over two hours…a middle of the pack runner will hit around four hours…walking at a brisk pace? over 8 hours. Throw obstacles, hysteria, and chaos in the mix? You’re talkin’ all day or more. I do not recommend that anyone– even an Olympian– try to run that kind of distance home under those conditions. First guy to run a marathon on the fly like that died…(first guy to run a marathon period). If you rush your trek home you will increase your chances of getting injured this leaves you in a very vulnerable position where help might not be coming for quite some time (FEMA anyone?) Even if you can use your vehicle, it might be the longest drive home you’ll ever make.

This is where the Get Home Bag comes in. You might meet a lot of challenges on the way home, and you might not be able to get there by the end of the day. Some of those challenges might be stopping to help others who are hurt. You’ll need calories for such a journey. You might need clothes more robust than the slacks and pressed shirt you went to work in. There might be a mob of angry looters. You get the idea, in short: One does not simply walk into Mordor. The Get Home Bag should be something that will meet these needs, get you home and keep you alive for 3 days at least. I’ll get into the specifics of what to have for such a kit later, keep your hats on.

Congrats you made it to Home Base, your current daily residence which should be well stocked. Since you can have many things here that are un-packable, might as well prepare to be as comfortable as you can without the modern conveniences. Sit on your couch look around and imagine not having electricity, gas, water, or the ability to pop off to the market to get supplies. Unless you’re a single college student living off noodles, you should have some perishables in the fridge/freezer; keep those doors closed as much as you can and exhaust this food supply first before opening any cans, dry goods, or emergency rations. This might mean eating hotdogs with broccoli and more broccoli, it might not win you Top Chef but it will stretch your supplies a few days longer. Even if you have a generator, I suggest not turning that bad boy on unless it’s absolutely necessary. Fuel might be in short supply and you don’t want to exhaust yours because you ran it all day to power your refrigerator or xbox all day. Leaving the comfort of your homestead is an absolute last resort, because travel is risky in bad situations and you’ll obviously be leaving behind a lot of stuff. Sometimes staying put just isn’t an option. Gas leaks, compromised structure, riots, flooding etc– all these might leave headquarters in unlivable conditions. If that’s the case salvage what you can and grab your friend BOB.

The Bug Out Bag. Sometimes there’s a grey area between BOB and GHB. For some, it’s the same bag. And that’s fine. For me personally, it’s not really practical to keep all that gear in my vehicle at all times. But, a small bag with the essentials designed to get me to my BOB makes perfect sense. It’s a bit of a trade off, you don’t have everything you might want but you’ll have most of what you need. I like to keep the two separate, because I don’t want to have to traipse 30 miles weighed down with the 50 plus pounds of gear I feel like I need to restart the human race. A Bug Out Bag to me isn’t just a short vacation pack, it’s a “kiss good bye to your home that you will never see again”. Your BOB should be far more significant than your GHB to the point of self sustainability under duress for a prolonged period of time. It should be able to get you to your BOL and beyond, should your BOL be compromised. So anything you want, you have to factor in. That includes photos of your family, who in all likelihood are now permanent extras on ‘The Walking Dead.’ To me, it’s just not all that practical to carry all that gear around all the time. Plus, I work in a rough neighborhood, and the last thing I need is a bunch of missing stuff and a broken window. What’s in mine? You guessed it…we’ll get to that later.

Lastly, your BOL…This You might be thinking is your house. It is not. It could be your cabin that’s a road trip away, or your crazy uncle Mike’s weird ass trailer far outside the city, or it could just be a camping spot you like somewhere. The point is it’s somewhere not your house– away from the massive flood, earthquake, zombies etc. Basically, You want to pick a spot that’s out of your weather system. This serves a dual purpose, it will also provide you with a rallying point for your friends or family to find you in the event of a catastrophe. We take cellphones for granted, but they can be rendered useless in the blink of an eye and everyone you have ever known is in the ether, so it’s a smart thing to have a location you can all fall back to. It is also good to have a secondary place picked out incase your BOL is compromised. This generally is a camp spot, cabin or more primitive place further away from the city and your BOL. Just in case, knowing where to go if your BOL happens to be inside the scope of disaster can save you a lot of time and stress.

Okay, so just for a minute let’s forget about gear and what sorts of shenanigans I have stowed in my bags. Let’s talk about when to make a run for it. First off, there are disasters that creep and disasters that come on strong and you know it’s gonna be rough ride right away. Like if you see little army men parachute out of the sky with machine guns and kill your teacher, it’s time to bug out to the mountains and form a guerrilla army and call yourselves the Wolverines after your beloved high school mascot. For creepers though, it helps to know when to bug out and when to hunker down.

Anytime there’s a major disaster, you’ll be glad you have your GHB. Sometimes the choice to grab and go will have a profound impact on your life. If you choose to spook out to headquarters without due cause you might get fired or find yourself in poor standing with your employer. Choose not to and you might stretch out your travel time by a day or more. In the worst case, the choice to stay gets you stranded or dead. I don’t want to put you into a panic, but you’ll have to weigh these decisions under stress. Thankfully, most employers will understand that it’s an emergency. I think it’s best to err on the side of caution, you can always tell them you have someone at home that needs assistance and you have to take a personal/sick day. You definitely don’t want to wait so long that hysteria is in full swing. If you can, you want to trek home before the entire weight of such a situation hits the populous. This will help you avoid getting stuck in a riot, looting spree or heinous traffic. Imagine, all the people who didn’t prepare trying to get food and water…imagine them eye balling your well packed kit…If you have to get out, get out quick. Nothing is worse than opening the door and realizing there’s too many Zombies to make your get away.

There’s a time to not try and get home right away too. You might have to wait out extreme weather conditions, or your building might be an island now. In such situations it’s best to wait things out rather than try to hike that marathon in a Cat 5 Hurricane. This is going to be where your GHB is going to sustain you until it subsides or help arrives. Simply put, you have to be able to assess the risk of getting home vs the risk of staying put; this includes being able to foreshadow things like weather during estimated travel time.

You basically have 4 options and in between each you’ll have to do the above assessment. Here’s your formula: Stay Where You are -> Assessment finds situation unstable -> GHB to Home -> Assessment finds situation unstable -> BOB to BOL -> Assessment finds situation unstable -> Secondary BOL.

Alright Savages! Stay tuned, Next time I’ll be breaking down how I like to pack these up.

May 28, 2013

Whaaaat’s crackin’ Savages? Alright, I’ve written a bit about fishing here and I thought that I might give you a different spin on things. I’m all about keeping nature wild and clean so that it’s around for all future generations. No other group has more of a vested interest in keeping wildlife healthy than hunters and fishermen. We consume them and don’t wish them to disappear off the planet. The more plentiful the deer the easier/cheaper the tags are and who wants to eat sick meat? So perhaps one of the greatest ways to increase the interest in protecting wildlife is to teach someone to responsibly fish and hunt.

What did your friendly neighborhood Savage do? He taught someone how to fish. I roped up one of my friends and drove them out for a day on the Lake. I’ve taken quite a few people out for their first time putting line in the water and it’s always rewarding watching them jump out of their skin the first time they pull out a fish. For those old anglers out there, try to remember what magic that first fish seemed like. Yeah, it’s pretty awesome…I’m not sure if I ever lost that feeling.

Alright you get it? Give people reasons to care about the environment right? Pass long your passion, have fun and don’t be an asshole. I wanted to pass on to you a few things to keep in mind when you take first time anglers out or even when you just are around first time anglers.

Assume they know nothing. Nada, zero, zip, zilch. Offer up every piece of information someone needs to catch a fish. This way they’re not sitting there afraid to ask, not knowing what to do scratching their heads wondering why they bothered getting up so early.

Be ready to drop everything you’re doing to untangle them. It’s their day, if you catch a fish it’s just a bonus. The point is for them to catch a fish. You’ve done it before, you’ll do it again. Let them get their moment in the sun.

Don’t be an asshole. This is pretty self explanatory right? I don’t just mean to the person you’re taking out either. All the other people out their fishing. Some might be out the first time, other might never have been told that the white flag you put up means you’re trolling. The nicer you are, the nicer people will be; that shit is contagious. Plus you never know if the guy you’re yelling and swearing at teaches Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and knocks people out for his paycheck 😉

Don’t say beginner’s luck. Be excited for them when they catch that fish. Know that every fish they catch from this day forth is one that you helped catch too.

Give them a lure or something. It’ll beckon them to the water. Plus who doesn’t like presents?

Oh, in case you’re wondering, we had fun out there my friend Dom and I. He even caught a fish, a nice 2lb Largemouth. That’s him up there all proud and whatnot. Sure he bellyhooked it, but we’ll take the win. What’s more fun than buzzing around a lake with a good friend searching for the next story that you’ll reminisce about? Not too much my friends, not too much.

Thumbs up Lake

I’m out Freaks. Get out and hit the water, take a newbie, don’t be a dick, and above all else don’t forget the bugspray.

May 14, 2013

Sadly, I’ve noticed a trend in the world where fitness is not only over-looked but looked down upon. As fast food and obesity run rampant in our society, there is an increasing movement for fat acceptance. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I hate fat or out of shape people. I’m not saying we should shun them or guilt them. But, I don’t think we should look at it with such compliance. I’m not saying that you can’t choose what you want to eat and do what you want to do with your body, but choosing to overlook the consequences of those actions is a dangerous example we’re setting for the next generation. Obesity has skyrocketed in the United States, and with it a host of complications from that lifestyle. We no longer call type 2 diabetes ‘adult onset diabetes’ because there are so many children and young adults with it…that should tell you something.

What on earth does this have to do with survival? Let me break it down for you. I have seen an alarming amount of overweight ‘soldiers of the apocalypse’ or ‘Doomsday Preppers’. Said disaster could be natural or some sort of attacker. In the event of an attacker in any situation, I promise you that being fit in that sort of situation can only help you out. Either for an actual fight, or for running away. There’s a very good reason why you do not see obese Navy Seals. Does everyone need to be Seal Fit? No of course not. But, there’s little point in stocking up on hollow points and body armor if diabetes and heart disease are actually a threat right now. Any military strategist will tell you in order to prepare for any perceived threat on the horizon you must first deal with the imminent threat in your perimeter.

Let’s take this from yet another angle. Natural disaster strikes. You are stuck in a dangerous situation, collapsed building, fire, or simply you’ve taken a mis-step on a hike. If you’re overweight and cannot efficiently move your own bodyweight your chances of survival dramatically decrease. Even in a car wreck where they have to cut you out of your mangle mess of a vehicle, if you’re big it’s going to be harder to save your life. Think about how hard it would be for a firefighter to carry your dead weight out of a burning building. Fall into a fast moving river? Can your buddy haul you back to shore? Now that you get what I’m serving, let’s flip the script. What if your friend or loved one was the one stuck? Are you physically capable of saving them? Be honest about this one. The ability to do some push ups or pull ups could be one of the most valuable assets in your survival kit.

Again, I’m not trying to offend anyone. I am writing out of concern. I’ve watched friends let themselves go and have to face serious health problems because of it. It’s like watching someone slowly commit suicide. At some point I have to ask myself, by watching and saying or doing nothing am I a bad person? If they were taking a razor to their wrists would I just watch? I’m not saying that everyone needs to be Mr. Olympia or some kind of crossfit nut. Sure body types are different and people hold weight differently than others. If you can move your own bodyweight, run, jump, pull yourself up, and run full clip for a good distance that you’re doin’ good. I think everyone has the ability to stay healthy; don’t be so sedentary and don’t eat all the shit corporate America tries to market to you. Just be honest with yourself, and if you need help ask. Everyone who’s fit had to start somewhere, most remember that and would love to help get others started. I hear a lot of people get upset over gun control because they want to protect their families because help might not come in time. Can you swim and pull your kid out of the ocean? Because you can’t shoot an undertow and you certainly can’t shoot diabetes.

I never try to lose sight of the fact that I am an animal. I’m a little monkey on a big spinning rock. I like to hunt and fish because it keeps me closer to what I feel is my natural state. I didn’t always have this philosophy, and I’m not always as close to it as I’d like to be. I do know the closer I am, the better I feel. I picture wild me running through the woods with a spear in my hand eating foraged berries looking for some game. When I picture wild me, he’s never obese and he never has a problem moving. Picture a cheetah; when you do, do you ever picture a fat cheetah? If people went to a zoo and saw an obese tiger that zoo would be under scrutiny. People have obese animals taken from them by animal welfare services. But a human child you can fatten up as much as you like. Something is wrong there…

I’m Out Savages! Get out, get a little wild with me. Unlock Wild You. I think you’ll like that Savage.

April 17, 2013

I don’t normally write political columns here, I generally like to focus on the fun stuff. This time, I’ve been pushed too far. As an avid lover of the outdoors, the environmental stuff alone is enough to drive me nuts and put pen to paper. Alright freaks, let’s get with the breakdown. For most of us, China seems worlds away and anything happening there cannot possibly affect us. If you have that mindset, it’s time to take the blinders off. Take a look around at the things you buy, there’s a good chance a fair portion is imported at least in part from China. I pay attention to where the things I buy are made; because I will not buy Chinese goods. Now, it’s not that I have a problem with the Chinese, I’m not a weird racist or one of those guys with the American Flag waving on everything I own. It’s this simple, I will not contribute to the ruin of the environment or mistreatment of my fellow humans. Even simpler than that, Food goods from China are a dodgy gamble at times.

I don’t want you to just take my word for it and start hating China or the Chinese. This isn’t about hate or any nonsense like that. It’s about voting with my dollar. Get Right, or Go BROKE. Simple as that. I would like to present my reasons for taking this stance and encourage you to research and make your own choice, and I sincerely hope that you use your dollar to vote with me and together we can make them voluntarily change…or go broke. Motivation is green in most countries, and nothing makes a Company scramble to get right than bad press and the threat of a nickel lost.

Recently I was listening to my local NPR and a story came up on chromium 6 poisoning and pollution in China. You might remember chromium 6 as the chemical that was made famous by Erin Brocovich, it was responsible for turning the small American town of Hinkley into a desolate ghost town. The story on China was a heart breaking story about farmers in China that watched their fifteen year old son die of cancer because their water supply had been turned into a yellow sludge due to the dumping of toxic waste and chromium 6. The fun part is the EPA still doesn’t require testing for chromium 6. The short scale to this is there are poor people dying of cancer in China’s countryside. The larger scale is that these poor folks are still farming rice in this yellow sludge and selling it. This poison rice that the farmers say they won’t eat because they know it’s not safe is getting sold to who knows where and eaten by…Even if it’s just going to be eating by livestock chemicals like arsenic and chromium 6 just get passed on from the animal to the consumer. On an even bigger scale pollution of that magnitude, even on the other side of the world has a butterfly effect on us here in the U.S. That yellow water gets into the atmosphere and eventually it’s rain… You can listen to that whole article HERE

That story is just one of many of the environmental tragedies happening in China today due in large part to their rapid expansion of industry fueled by U.S. Consumers. Here are some other facts to consider:

According to Thomas Harwood China holds 16 of the worlds most polluted cities.

The environmental policy is hampered by heavy industry which has considerable clout when it comes to resisting environmental policies.

As the largest emitter of greenhouse gasses, China has ratified the Kyoto protocol but only as a Non-Annex I country and as such is not required to limit greenhouse gas emissions.

These are just jumping off points, I haven’t even gotten into the deep end on their level of environmental wreckage. Take this ball and run with it, if that’s not enough to convince you to join me.

As if the state of the environment in China wasn’t enough to get you on board with me, there are so many sad bastard stories on human rights in China if I wrote about them all I’d make the brothers Grimm look like lazy bums with an aversion to writing. So, I’m just going to give you some highlights to get you going in the right direction. Multiple NGOs have criticized China for wide spread human rights violations. And we’re not talking about the light stuff like the supposed “freedom of speech, religion, fair trial, and property rights” that are afforded by their own Constitution. Despite the those rights, people are still targeted and criminally prosecuted by the State. I’m not even talking about disproportionate taxation that beats down the poor to fill richer pockets. I’m talking about the fundamental rights, detention without trial, forced confessions, torture, and excessive use of the death penalty. Don’t even get me started on the state of feminism over there. Status: NOT FREE

When you see a country rife with censorship, you can generally bet your bottom dollar that something is not right and being hidden from view. Couple that with outrageous propaganda and the stink of rotten politics gets to be overwhelming. You can learn about China’s censorship from the good people at VICE

If you are starting to think that humans have it bad in China, the animals over there have it even worse. China is renown for it’s thirst for crazy non-founded pseudo science that calls shark fins, monkey hands and tiger parts “pharmaceuticals”. Why? I’ve found that a large portion of exotic animals are killed for their ‘therapeutic’ attributes. They claim it cures everything from the common cold to arthritis. The claim I hear the most though? It (whatever it may be) makes your dick hard. In a world where we have cialis and viagra, why do you need to farm Tigers for something I promise won’t make your johnson any harder than a gummy worm. This demand is so high, that China’s population of wild Tigers plummeted from 4,000 in 1940 to a dozen or so. Tiger Farms

It doesn’t stop there. Let’s say you’re in North Korea, and you want to get out because you’re starving and Kim Jong Unbelievable is a fat piece of shit. You can either cross the DMZ into South Korea which is laden with land mines and army dudes with machine guns or you can try getting into China. The bad news is, if you get into China you cannot claim amnesty. If the Chinese government catches you they send you straight back to North Korea where you and your family will be put into a work camp or executed (execution being the lighter of the two). Why? Because China is in bed with that maniac and they want to play nice, nice with him. So, if you do make it to China you have to find the ‘underground railroad’ of sorts. Unfortunately it’s not Harriet Tubman that waits to aid your escape, it’s most likely gangsters. If you’re female, you’ll likely be forced into prostitution. To hear more about how to escape from North Korea after you’ve been forcibly given an abortion by a Chinese pimp and turned into a prostitute you can catch episode 2 of VICE on HBO.

I have not even begun my tirade on China and the complete bastardry that takes place there. I haven’t even touched ground on the lack of standards when it comes to producing pet foods. This not only threatens your beloved pet but also the humans who care for them. They’re Poisoning your Pet.

Don’t have a pet? Think you’re safe? Think again. It’s not just Pet food it’s Human grade consumables that are being mass produced under poor control. Here’s a story of Cabbages being sprayed with FORMALDEHYDE to keep them fresh in transit to your kitchen table. They’re Poisoning You!

Remember your good friend Chromium 6? It’s been found in high levels in the gelatin caps your vitamins are coming in. They’ve even gotten to your vitamins.

Sure China has put in place laws recently to put you at ease. It banned the use of formaldahyde in 2008, yet somehow it still gets used. Why? The dollar. They want to make a buck, and in China the dollar goes far and carries more weight than the law. The only way to correct this problem is to use that same dollar, that very same dollar in your pocket as a weapon. If you don’t want to do it for the environment, the people in China, the animals in China, or for your own damn safety there are still other reasons! There are so many just pick your cause. Just do the research. You’re reading this, so I know you’re on the internet, pop on over to your favorite search engine and start reading. We can make a difference. We will make a difference. Stand up and fight, and I will stand up with you!

You hear that China? Get Right or GO BROKE.

I’m out of here Savages, get to work and read those labels and pass this along.

February 18, 2013

What is Crackin’ Savages?!?! Been a while I know. It’s been crazy this past few indiscriminate chunks of time. Between all the non-denominational days of celebration and my own busy business, it’s been a whirlwind! Don’t fret kids, I have not forgotten about you. Let me go ahead and say first, moving is awful and you kids don’t pay me enough to quit my day job. In fact you people don’t pay me at all; still I understand this is a down economy after all. In light of tough times and my long awaited return to the interwebs I am coming back to you with a vengeance. Hear that? Vengeance…

Let me throw down a little review of this tiny monster. I’m giving away a Johnson Trailblazer II travel guitar. I’d like to let you all know that I am by no means a rockstar or even a good guitarist. On the best of days, I might use the word mediocre to describe myself. It’s a relatively new passion for me, I do love the shit out of playing and it feels like summiting K2 when you hit that piece of music. If you don’t play an instrument, I suggest you give it a go. It’s not easy, but things that are rewarding usually aren’t.

This little freak is a pretty decent guitar for the road. It doesn’t take up a lot of space and it doesn’t sound like terrible noise like you might think it would being such a little guitar. The size of it is…kind of like a stretched 33” ukelele. Weight wise, I don’t know if I’d backpack it…well if I didn’t pack fishing gear I’d take the gitty, put it that way. It doesn’t feel like it weighs a ton, maybe a pound or two. Which for the ultra-lighter’s it’s sinfully heavy, for everyone else it’s pretty light for what you’re getting. It’s worth trimming weight from somewhere else if you can. For that road trip in your packed econo-car, it’s perfect.

It is perfectly playable, with a spruce top, mahogany body and a rosewood fretboard. I do feel it’s size requires a small period of adjustment . If you have one, pack some kind of a strap (hobo string works well too) so that you can sit your guitar where you want it. In other words, it’s small and a little awkward to hold if you’re used to a larger bodied guitar. Personally, I like a big dreadnought or Jumbo but I have long jangly ape hangers. It is indeed, a real guitar that makes real guitar sounds. Just don’t expect it to feel like your big guitar at home, but it certainly gets the job done while you’re off the Rez. Think of it as a musical version of your Therm-a-Rest; it’s sure not your Temper-Pedic back home but it sure beats rollin around in the dirt on rocks.

With out further ado I’d like to thank our sponsor RedZone Guitar Works! They’ve put this sweet little beast up for grabs. Not to mention they are a great group of people working at a great shop. Don’t waste any time, sign up now and tell your friends to sign up as well. If this giveaway goes well, I’ll be giving away an even better different style travel guitar!

February 6, 2013

Here’s a quick and easy recipe for just about any freshwater fish you might catch. I use some ingredients that I foraged and some that I carry in the pack. I didn’t use anything I wouldn’t have on hand in a backpacking situation. You could add some ingredients to it if you’re at home, car camping or simply have more available on the trail you’re on. Amount of time going from live squirmy fish to dinner plate will vary wildly depending on your cook setup and personal skill. I would say, river to plate this would take me about 30-40 minutes to prepare. Cut the prep time in half if you have a buddy to help.

Today, I’ll be using fillets. If you don’t know how to fillet a fish you can learn how here. In addition to a trusty sharp knife, you’ll need Tin foil. And it should be 2-4 inches longer than double the length of the fish. If you’re in the bush, tin foil can make cooking much easier, it folds small and is light as all get out. I included some foraged food, which you can learn about that here. For this recipe I used the following ingredients:

Salt and Pepper to taste

Sriracha to taste (I like about 1 tsp, skip it if you don’t like spicy)

Original Mrs. Dash sprinkled about (or your own general spice blend sans salt)

2 cloves of garlic (I love garlic, and a bulb in your pack will do well with pre-cooked dehydrated camp food as well)

That’s about all the spices, or condiments I’ll usually take backpacking. Though, I sometimes have some soy sauce packets, Lawry’s, garlic salt or curry powder. Below are the foraged ingredients.

About an 1/8 cup of nightshade berries

half a cup of cleaned nopales (cut into ½ inch squares)

1 tsp of wild mustard seed

1 tsp of wild chia seed

1-2 (depending on size) leaves of California Bay

You bass should now look something like this, ready to be cooked!

Method: You’re going to take your tin foil and fold it in half, make a crease and reopen it. Lay the fillets side by side in the middle on one side of said crease. Next apply evenly all your dry spices, the salt and pepper, Mrs. Dash, and wild mustard seeds. Next smash your garlic with a clean rock or crush it with the flat of your blade. Now, tear it into pieces and lay it on the fish as evenly spaced as you can. Top that off with your nopales and nightshade berries, again spreading them as evenly as you can. Then tear your bay into a few pieces and distribute them the length of the fish. Add your desired amount of sriracha and add about two tablespoons of clean water near the base of the fish so you’re not washing seasoning off. If you’re at home, feel free to drizzle it with some olive oil and splash it with a little mirin, wine or fish sauce instead of water. Fold the foil over so that the corners line up and crimp or fold them together. You want some space in the foil too, so that some air builds and steams in there, so don’t let the foil get smashed flat onto the fish.

If you’re backpacking; Boil water in a pot and use some sticks to lay across the top of the pot make a platform. Place your foil envelope with your fish on top of the platform. If you have a large pan at your disposal, you can put water in that and lay the envelope directly in the water provided you’ve sealed it correctly or the seals do not touch the watch. You can also cook this over a fire or coals if you weave a platform to put it on over the fire/coals so it’s not in direct contact with flames or hot coals. If you’re at home, simply throw into an oven that you’ve preheated to 350. Cook times will vary depending on how you get the fire to your fish, size of the fillets, and altitude, but generally it’s around 15-20 minutes. When you go to open this, beware of the stream waiting to burn you. Garnish with chia seeds and enjoy!

If you’re using the steam and stick-platform method, you can throw your sides into the boiling water below for a double task. I like to eat this with some rice, but light weight instant potatoes work too.

January 9, 2013

Morning Savages! You’re out in the field and you managed to catch yourself a fish. Now what? Some of you might know the next step for those of you who don’t, Let’s put our learning hats on!

I like to do this in the field away from my camp (A lot of my travels take me to bear country). You have a date for the dance, but they are severely under dressed. First step, Rohypnol. Since that is likely not in your pack or tackle you’re going to have to get your cave man on and find something big and heavy; like a rock or piece of wood. Now take your date, gently grab it by the tail and beat it’s head in until it’s not moving. If you don’t have the stomach for this simply change your name to Moon Flower, become a vegan, move onto a commune and eat a raw food diet. I on the other hand like my ancestors before me, am a Savage, an Apex Predator.

Second step is to remove the scales. Now, they indeed sell special fish scalers that look and for all intents and purposes like horse brushes that have been re-branded. That is obviously not going to pack very well. Your second option is to use the fish scalers that come on swiss army knives and multi-tools. I generally think these suck. I prefer to use my knife for the whole operation, it’s just a lot easier in the end and you’ll save on pack space. I myself prefer to do my scaling with my knife even if I’m in the comfort of a kitchen. To remove the scales you’re going to rest the knife blade on the fish as if you’re going to chop it. Then gently add pressure, careful not to cut into it. I can shave my face with my knife and still can put a fair amount of pressure on it without damage, so don’t be too scared. Now scrape going against the scale grain. I want to add, in this scraping motion the blade stays perpendicular to the fish, we’re not at a shaving angle (you’ll cut into it if you try to shave him). As you scrape your fish the scales will be popping off everywhere. This is why I usually like to do this in a trash bag away from camp (preferably near the water you caught it in).

With the scales removed your next step will be to cut the fins off. This is all the fins, not the tail. In the comfort of my kitchen I use poultry shears to cut off the fins. Out in the field, I use my knife on a piece of wood. Do not cut these off while your fish is on a rock, or on dirt. You want a firm surface but you don’t want to dull the edge of your knife. I find that removing the fins makes eating, gutting, and filleting easier. Though some people will skip this step and I don’t begrudge them for it.

Now here’s where you really get your hands dirty. And you’ll need guts; You’ll also have guts, extra guts. Place your hand on the the fish and apply even downward pressure so the slippery little bastard doesn’t well…slip. Now that you have him in a firm embrace, take your sharp…repeat Sharp knife and slit him from front fin stumps to his poop chute. Now pull all the guts out. I like to do all my fish touching and gut pulling with one hand and all my knife work with the other. It’s an acquired skill but it keeps the fishy bits off my knife handle and my face, which will inevitably itch the second I get fish bits on both hands. If you’re out in the bush, you can save the organs for bait or snares. If you’re starving, you can eat them. However, only eat the organs; the guts themselves might have bacteria that will make you sick. If you A. cannot tell the difference between guts or organs, or B. Stuck your knife in there really deep when you made the slit and punctured the stomach, designate the belly innards as bait. P.S. Fish organs taste like you think they do if that makes your decision easier.

Scaled, Gutted and De-finned. At this point you can jam a stick in him and roast him over a fire, Weave a roasting/steaming basket, or throw him in some tin foil and steam him. (Remember kids, if you’re going to stick anything in your fish from a tree, or make a basket from a bush, make sure you know that tree isn’t poisonous.) Basically, you’re done cleaning. However, if you want to class it up a bit, and we are gentlemen/women here, you’re not done yet.

Remember when we got the gutty wuts out of our friend? Swell. We’re going to put our hand firmly on him again, this time put him so his gaping belly wound is facing away from you. Start near the head just above the spine and cut into the skin and take it all the way to the tail. At this point I just like to make sure I’ve cut the skin start to finish, I’m not really trying to cut too deep into the flesh. Once you’ve got that opened, you want the flat of your blade to rest on the spine, and in gentle sweeping motion cut the meat off the bone. Do not make a sawing motion, this will make a mess of your fillet. Once off the fish itself, I like to cut the belly off. You can leave it on, but it usually will over cook due to the discrepancy in thickness. On a perfect day, I’ll crisp it up; skin and all in a toaster oven, drizzle a little teriyaki sauce on it and throw it on top of sushi rice. In the field, it’s a great dog snack, great bait, or cook it separate as an appetizer while you wait for your main. Now you’re half done, flip it over and repeat the process. You should have two beautiful fillets ready to impress.

Now, I recommend doing this at home in the kitchen first to get a bit of practice. And practice using your field knife. A lot of people spend a lot of money on fillet knives. I personally use my big Chef’s knife to fillet, skin and prepare. In a pro kitchen, it’s just simply more efficient to use one knife instead of having to dig for another. In the field, it makes even more sense to use your field knife. Space, weight, time and one less thing to clean. Not to mention a fillet knife is really only good for…fillets. Another reason to practice is, after these photos were taken my friend tried their hand at the process. While I can do this in three to five minutes in the field, they on their first try took forty minutes.

November 30, 2012

Alright Savages, why even carry it? Why not just chuck a Swiss army knife and two band-aids in your pack and march off; Because you never know when you might have to saw your own god damn arm off or make a fire because your lighter turned out to be a piece of shit. My friend Jay once said “When you’re out in the back country the amount of things that care if you die shrink to almost nothing, the ones that do care, care because they are trying to kill you.”

It’s a strange piece of a equipment the survival kit. Among backpackers, campers and bushcrafters it’s probably one of the most hotly contested things that can end up in your pack. Ultra-lighters will tell you there’s too much stuff, Bushcrafters and Survivalists will tell you there’s not enough. They might both be right. A survival kit, by all means I believe is a personal thing. My only real strict rule is, make it yourself. I’m going to provide you with a few tips on it’s construction as well as a small list of things I find helpful to get you started. Just use it as a guideline that you either take or add to it for your own. It’s not just good to have in your pack, if you’re not into backpacking you can reconfigure your kit to be your emergency car kit, or zombie apocalypse kit.

First let’s go over some tips and general foundations. By far the worst thing you can do is buy one of the prepackaged survival kits then directly hop on the trail. Mind you, you’re probably better off with that than none at all; but I’ve found that often it’s half full of junk and gimmicks. Plus, if you have any medications they’ll obviously not be included in it. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather test fire the rifle I’m going to take to battle. The next common mistake I see people do is they go through the trouble of constructing the kit, but they just throw it in their pack and forget about it. Meanwhile, things are expiring or spoiling (yes, even band-aids go bad) and it might not be suited for the particular adventure you’re embarking on. Right tool for the job.

I like to approach the survival kit as an more free flowing collective of goods rather than a box you toss in your pack. For instance, you can wear your knife on your belt, which is part of your survival kit; even though it’s not in the box in your pack. You get the idea right? Your survival kit is even your sleeping bag, bivy sack, and rain gear.

What to take, and what to leave behind. Now if you’ve ever done any shopping for a backpacking trip you’ve done it, you’ve questioned how much something weighs and whether or not you truly need it. The tricky part, the one that’s the basis of contention is the definition of the word ‘need’. Do I really need a fixed blade knife? Many will say it’s excessive, and heavy; others will say they wouldn’t camp in the backyard without it. I personally feel like it’s more like insurance, and if you want to get bushcrafty while on your adventure you’ll be able to do much more. Generally, I feel like people are often most likely to poo poo on my knife if they don’t really know how to use one. Which honestly is like the rest of the kit, the more you know, the more things will make sense or not. And that, the knowledge is the most important thing in your kit. I try my best to stay light, but the fact is if you are on the trail and the camp cuisine gives you the runs immodium will make or break your trip. If you’re worried about the flak you’ll get over the extra bits and bobs, once someone needs something you have…it’s usually the last you’ll hear their jib jabbing.

The other little quirk of my survival kit is the way it’s organized and the fact that I carry some duplicates. I have three main sections of my kit; First Aid, Main Survival, and a small auxiliary kit. My small auxiliary kit is an small tin that’s strapped to my knife. This kit is a smaller combination of the other two ‘main’ parts and contains some duplicates. The reason for this is the old adage ‘don’t put all your eggs in one basket’. I recall one trip where my travel buddy and I wandered back to camp at dusk and found it overrun by bears. This auxiliary kit allowed us to keep warm while the bears looted our camp (which contained our warm jackets). You never know when you and your pack might become separated. The nature of an emergency dictates it is unplanned, unfortunate and unforgiving.

Below you will find the contents of my general base kit, that I add to or take away depending on my environment. Please, please, please take it and run away. Add, remove, make it your own. Call me a jackass for carrying too much or not enough; just don’t copy it verbatim. Read it, and think on it.

My Main Kit:

Bandanna & Shemagh

Emergency Blanket

Cotton Balls

Hand Sanitizer

Chapstick

Sunscreen

Duct Tape

Fire Steel and Striker

Lighter

Pencil Pad of Paper

Para-cord 20′

Whistle

Emergency Tooth Brush

Needle and Safety Pins

Compass

Super Glue

Eye drops

Flashlight

Swiss Army Knife

Bush Knife

Skinner/meal knife

Whet Stone

Ziplock Bags

Water Purification Tablets

Fishing Line and Hooks

Signal Mirror

20 ga. Snare Wire

Mini Flashlight

Water Filter (lifestraw)

First Aid Kit:

Mole Skin

Snake Bite Kit

Vaseline

Dental Floss

Super Glue

Tweezers

Toilet Paper

Paper Towels

Cotton Balls

Self Adhesive Bandage Wrap

SAM Splint

Pain Reliever

Allergy Pills (anti-histamine)

Bite Stick

Hydro Cortisone Cream

Antacid

Triple Anti-Biotic Ointment

Iodine Pads

Alcohol Swabs

Water Purification Tablets

Butterfly Stitches

Plenty of Band-Aids

Anti-diarrhea tablets

Couple Sanitary Napkins which are great bandages

Auxiliary Kit:

Mole Skin

Band Aids

Alcohol Swabs

Triple Anti-biotic Ointment

Hydro Cortisone Cream

Duct Tape

Safety Pin

Fish line and Hooks

Lighter

Fire Steel

Water Purification Tablets

Zip Lock Bag

Para-cord bracelet or hat band

There you have it. My personal kit, of course there are survival items I’m leaving out that I feel are location specific. Or pieces I feel are survival kit material but are better left to another article, such as my shelter, sleeping bag, and stove. I’ll almost always have a tarp as well. Again, this is not definitive, nor is it all I take with me. This is merely the soup base, the stock, the meat and potatoes.

Some of you might be wondering why I’m carrying some of the items I’ve selected, and while I’d like to go through each and every item, their purpose, and how to use them; I would end up with a rather long wordy article. I also don’t want to be too brief when giving advice on how to use said items; After all the item itself is only as good as your knowledge of how to utilize it. Instead I’ve chosen to break it up into multiple articles, this isn’t the last you’ve seen of the survival kit. This way we can really sink our teeth into the items with lesser known uses, or the ones that are puzzling to some as to why they have a place in a pack where space and weight is everything.

November 23, 2012

Morning Savages! The other day I took a day hike in the San Gabriel mountains to see what I could find. Here are a few of my finds that I’ll be using later in a recipe.

Black Night Shade Berries

No, not that night shade. You’re probably thinking about that other nightshade, the deadly nightshade, or Belladonna. This one is it’s somewhat kinder cousin. You’re of course familiar with it’s other cousin, the tomato. The berries of the Solanum Nigrum are generally only toxic when under ripe. Though there are varieties I’m told that have higher levels of toxin than others. Generally, speaking they won’t kill you unless you ate a ton of unripe berries, and leaves; even then you’ll most likely just get mighty sick or at least give you a mean case of the squirts. The aboriginals in the area used to cook out the toxin in the leaves and shoots but this required numerous boilings with the water being thrown out and changed many times. Maybe if I run into someone who knows that technique well, but at this point I consider that outside my current skill set.

These little babies, are generally considered a weed and not indigenous to this region; but it’s been imported most likely for it’s medicinal qualities quite a while ago. Today, this Eurasian import can be found rather abundantly in the San Gabriel’s. While there is a long list of its medicinal properties dating back to ancient Greece, it rarely sees use in the modern West. I personally have not used it for any of its medicinal qualities though, I’m sure there are plenty.

This is definitely one of those plants I suggest you seek out a guide or plant expert to teach you if you plan on eating it, or using it as medicines. It has some dangerous bits, and it’s got some more dangerous cousins.

Prickly Pear Cactus

If you live in the south west you’ve seen these in people’s yards, and it’s just as prevalent out in the wild. You can use Spanish to call them nopales, or you can use science to call them Opuntia. You might get these confused at some point simply because people call them by all manner of names; which is a testament to their popularity and abundance. These guys are great raw or cooked and there’s heaps of literature on what you can do with these. You can find these in a lot of markets and carnicerias already cleaned as well, if you want to skip foraging and go straight to yummy.

One of the great things about the this paddle cactus is you can eat 99% of it. The only thing you really have to worry about is the pokey bits. Now, there are actually two different stickers on this plant. The first is the big needle like ones and obviously these are a bad time in Borneo if you put these in your mouth. They also have smaller glochids and those are the ones you really need to not get in your throat. The easiest way to remove all these little pricks is to scrape them away with your knife. I like to trim the edge off and cut out all the little brown aureoles, and give it a little scrapw. I then give it a rinse and making sure I get all the bad bits off my knife as well.

The fruits are no where near ripe at the moment, but if you catch them when they’re ripe you’re in for a real treat. I want to mention that you can skin and eat the more mature pads for a different flavor; the skin on these older pads get tough as they age so unless you’re in dire need of fiber, I’d skin it. Heck, you can even eat the flowers themselves, though I’d rather let them become fruit…the fruits on these are unforgettable.

Wild Mustard Seeds

Brassica kaber SON! Or the wild mustard. The particular wild mustard seeds I gathered do not really have a strong mustard flavor. It comes across more as a earthy flavor that I really like, it’s a unique flavor that I feel makes you want to eat outside. Don’t think these are going to be over powering, there’s not a real punch here so feel free to go crazy with it. The flowers of this plant are a great treat, and taste like broccoli. Mostly because it’s a very close relative of broccoli. By the time I got to this it was already well dried and the flowers long gone. But, you take what you can get when you can get it out in the bush. I want to mention getting the seeds out of the pods in any quantity is a bit tedious, so pop on your favorite podcast and do this well before you intend on using it.

Chia Seeds!

Yes, I’m talking about Chi, Chi, Chia. The same seeds used in your favorite thing since the pet rock. Recently they’ve popped up in the health food orientated stores and as an ingredient in Kambucha. They seem to thrive in the San Gabriels. Though not as much of a threat as a cacti, they are fairly spiky and you might want to exercise caution. I just threw them in a container and shook the hell out of it. After my good vibrations, the seeds are piled at the bottom. The downside is some of the pointy bits come off and have to be picked out. Which, you guessed it is tedious. Truthfully, I don’t think these seeds taste like much. They’re a great additive though, especially out on the trail because they have endless benefit as a heath food.

SavageTip: Throw in water or juice and watch them turn into little tapioca-like balls. Drinking this down really will make you feel full. Great if you’re cutting a little weight, or just surviving trying to keep your mind off the fact that you want to eat something that used to breathe.

California Bay

If you like Italian cooking or any Mediterranean Cuisine, then you’re familiar with the bay leaf. Not to be confused with the Indian bay leaf or Indonesian bay leaf. They might look similar, but they are not true laurels.

These Leaves are quite aromatic, and have found their way into many a perfumer’s cabinet. These can be used obviously anywhere that calls for bay. You can also dry this if you like, after drying you can grind a portion up with your mortar and pestle for various other uses. Generally speaking you’ll want to remove this from your finish product before eating unless it’s ground. They don’t break down too much and might be sharp going down.

This plant also has many medicinal qualities. It’s proven to have great anti-fungal and anti-bacterial properties, so if you catch yourself in the field sans your neosporine or foot powder… I’ve also been told that you can use this for headaches and migraines too. There really are many a remedy this great leaf is the basis of. I’ll try a few out the next time I’m afflicted and let you know the result.

In the photo, you’ll notice there’s also a fruit. Which you can eat, if you roast it. If you don’t do the roasting you’ll be doing the runs instead. As I understand it, you can also make a kind of chocolate out of these, but that’s a little above my pay grade. Perhaps that’s a challenge for another one of these days…

Savage Tip: Forage a few extra and put them in cupboards, closets, and tents, to repel meal moths, flies, roaches and silver fish; I’ve also read these repel mosquitoes, but I’m not sure how much of this you’d have to have rubbed and stashed on your person to be an effective personal repellent. Entomologists have been using these in their ‘killing jars’ for ages, because it kills the insects effectively and makes them easy to mount.

November 16, 2012

Morning Savages! First off, I would like to thank you all for your participation in the ESEE Giveaway! Congratulations to our Winners! Be sure to take a gander at this Month’s Giveaway sponsored by Solo Stove!

As you all should know, I will never put my seal of approval on something I don’t really believe in or actually use. So…prior to giving away the Solo stove I put it through the paces. I have to admit, I’m more than happy with the results. Let’s take a closer look at this month’s prize shall we?

The idea behind the Solo stove is not a new one. Small portable wood burning stoves have been around for some time. Sometimes called ‘hobo stoves’, I learned to make one in the boy scouts out of old soup cans. While my old soup can stove actually works, and works well I might add; the Solo stove takes that idea and injects it with style, class and efficiency. Before you guys start bickering over why don’t you just make it out of old cans, and who needs style and class in the bush; hear me out. You might be glad you did.

Another name for these types of stoves is ‘wood gas stove’. Now, let’s take a closer look at the science behind that name. One of the things that makes the Solo stove so efficient is the way it delivers air to the burn chamber. As the stove heats up, it employs a secondary combustion making it more efficient than just burning a pile of sticks laying on the ground or in a tin. What ends up happening is the stove cooks the wood until it begins smoking and then it burns that smoke at the top of the stove…twice. This means the stove burns cleaner, and more effectively. It’s what allows you to do your cooking with a small pile of twigs while producing very little smoke.

Okay, so all of that sounds pretty good and yes it is a nice looking stove, but does it work? A pretty stove and neat idea doesn’t always translate to real world usefulness. I decided to put the Solo stove through a few paces and this is what I found. It’s construction is solid, and when I say that I mean it feels like it’s built better than any of the gas and canister stoves I’ve owned and tried out. And you have the bonus of not having to keep purchasing canisters to chuck in the garbage bin. I wanted to give the stove a fair shot at working so I decided to start the fire itself with a vasoline soaked cotton ball, if that won’t start a fire you’re under water.

Simply put a small pile of twigs in the stove, add the cotton ball and ignite, once it’s burning put a few more twigs on top. Then you’re ready to cook. From spark to boil, it took me 7 minutes and 30 seconds to get to a raging boil. Of course boil times will vary due to elevation but that’s a pretty damn quick boil made by twigs. Now, I do have experience with wood burning stoves and I was curious to see how someone who never used one before would be able to get on with it. So…I found a volunteer who had never used a wood burning stove and threw them the Solo stove and told them to get it to a boil. Now, I let them watch me test it once and let them give it a shot. I did not give them any direction or help, they just watched as I did my thing. I didn’t slow it down for them or tell them what I was doing. From a cold empty stove to boil their time was 15 minutes. That’s really fast with no instruction and starting from scratch, so the Solo stove gets my stamp of approval on ease of use!

The only issue with the Solo stove is it can be prohibited in dry parts of the country when fire restrictions are high. The good news is, they have a solution for you. And that solution is the same solution for many of life’s trials and tribulations. That’s right booze! Not just any booze though, high test alcohol 140 proof or higher I would say. If you haven’t figured out why the stove needs a 12 step program it’s because Solo stove also makes an alcohol accessory that works beautifully in conjunction with the Solo stove. Simply fill it with alcohol and set a match to it. There’s even a temperature control apparatus for it in case you need to turn the heat down a bit. It’s simple, clean, and easy, the only down side is the boil time is 9 minutes. But I suspect if you’ll wait 7 minutes and 30 seconds for a boil another minute and a half won’t be an ordeal.

All in all, the Solo stove is a great product well worth the price of admission. It’s a very well made product that will fit a variety of needs. I kept thinking of the poor folks in New York recently who were left without gas or power due to Hurricane Sandy and thought they all would have benefited by having a Solo stove in their preparedness kit. Whether it’s for camping, backpacking, or just in case grab yourself a Solo Stove, you’ll be glad you did.

Don’t forget, this month I’m teaming up with the good folks over at Solo Stove to give away one of these great stoves! Head over to my “Giveaway” section for the rules to enter! Thumbs Up Solo Stove!