"So, yeah, it's just the elevation," my new friend continues to yell into my ear. "The girls here drink too much, and the elevation fucks with their heads. So then they say they got roofied." He furrows his bushy eyebrows and raises his beer in the direction of the dance floor, which is teeming with cloudy-eyed kids gyrating to Taio Cruz. "People think we're the 'rape capital' of America now, but we're not. Missoula is just like any other college town."

Maybe. Maybe not.

On May 1st, the Federal Department of Justice launched an investigation into possible gender bias in the handling of sexual assault allegations by the Missoula Police Department, the County Attorney's Office, and the University of Montana. Officials say there have been at least 80 reported rapes in Missoula over the last three years, with 11 of the sexual assaults reported over the last 18 months involving UM students, including an alleged gang-rape by members of the Grizzlies' lucrative Division I football team.

When I heard that Nick, my friend's younger brother, was planning a trip back to Missoula, I asked him to take me along because I, too, was curious: Why Missoula?

***

"I think a lot of the sexual assaults are pretty fucking legit except for there are a lot of really slutty girls here who want to get with a lot of people and then they want to claim rape," Rachel, a UM senior and one of Nick's friends, tells me while smoking a bowl at her kitchen table and shuffling a deck of cards.
"We're in college," Tori says. "People do stupid stuff. If girls keep lying, everyone's going to think Missoula is the town that "cried rape." She offers to connect me with her Griz friends, but sends me an apologetic text the next day saying that the coach forbade the players to talk to the media. "They never want to talk about the rape charges," she had told me earlier. "We have a rule: Don't bring it up unless they bring it up with you."

"The guys are rapists, but the girls want to get fucked," she says, over and over again.

I try to tell her that statistics say –

"I don't give a fuck about your statistics," she says, pounding the table for emphasis. "Things are different in Missoula. I'm not saying they're not rapists. But the girls help it along."

It's easier to think of rape as the nasty collateral damage that comes with binge drinking and progressive female sexuality [than it is to come to terms with the fact that rapists live among us — despite research that proves over and over again that they do.

And the third is that the girls in Missoula are the type who "make shit up for attention." Girls "cry rape" in Missoula, say the girls of Missoula, who are often quicker to blame "sluts" for getting themselves into sketchy situations than are guys. I'm told over and over again that, thanks to the allegations that have surfaced over the past few months, more and more girls are blaming their post-hookup shame on the guys they — in the minds of so many of the Missoulians I meet — happily and carelessly took home the night before.

"I just don't think that's rape," one of Nick's friends says of Ali's story. "I mean, the guy was definitely pushing too hard, but is that rape?" Another, who vaguely knows her from class, says she seems like "she just wants attention."

The rape culture in America is so pervasive and especially so on College Campuses. I really hope Missoulla's case gets national attention so that attitudes can change. Seriously people...

"I just don't think that's rape," one of Nick's friends says of Ali's story. "I mean, the guy was definitely pushing too hard, but is that rape?" Another, who vaguely knows her from class, says she seems like "she just wants attention."

This attitude is EVERYWHERE.

It does make me want to go to Missoula and ask people 'What the fuck?' randomly until someone apologizes.

I've never understood the hook up lifestyle. STI's, you never know what kind of person you're really going home with, and now rapists and women that falsely accuse on the rise. A night of sex just isn't worth it.

That said, it seems like the best way to protect yourself is to record your entire encounter...

I've never understood the hook up lifestyle. STI's, you never know what kind of person you're really going home with, and now rapists and women that falsely accuse on the rise. A night of sex just isn't worth it.

That said, it seems like the best way to protect yourself is to record your entire encounter...

Wow, you came out of that article in an entirely different place then I did.

Just illustrates the disconnect people have about Rape in America. Fuck.

Wow, you came out of that article in an entirely different place then I did.

Just illustrates the disconnect people have about Rape in America. Fuck.

I'm just barely talking about the article. I wish I could be surprised by the rape culture we live in, especially in college towns, but I'm not.

I have a friend that went to Ohio University in Athens. She was raped at a party. The campus and city authorities were handling things with kid gloves until she told them that she had interned at a newspaper in my hometown and that there were plenty of people interested in her story. When they brought the guy in for "a second look" and gave him the real experience, he confessed easily. Copped a plea though...

Don't even ask me about my days at Ohio State... Fraternity thugs aren't just a stereotype.

I still don't really get the attention whore accusation. I mean, there must be better ways to get attention than to yell "rape"

Could always get pregnant. Seriously though, "no means no" should be a benefit to us guys.

When a guy hears 'no' or gets resistance in an interaction, your penis should go into a state of Pavlovian limpness. "No" should carry weight. No dates, no phone calls, no flirting, no squishy love letters, no drinks...nothing. It will eventually become easy to tell who wants to party and who doesn't, thus making life easier on all of us.

Could always get pregnant. Seriously though, "no means no" should be a benefit to us guys.

When a guy hears 'no' or gets resistance in an interaction, your penis should go into a state of Pavlovian limpness. "No" should carry weight. No dates, no phone calls, no flirting, no squishy love letters, no drinks...nothing. It will eventually become easy to tell who wants to party and who doesn't, thus making life easier on all of us.

so... are you suggesting if a woman decides she doesn't want to have sex with you you'll cut off all contact?

I stopped reading Jezebel when they posted a video, and screenshots, of a girl being gang-raped in South Africa. Her face was clearly visible. Shit was fucked up, and they didn't care. Fuck the site, and all it's affiliates.

Could always get pregnant. Seriously though, "no means no" should be a benefit to us guys.

When a guy hears 'no' or gets resistance in an interaction, your penis should go into a state of Pavlovian limpness. "No" should carry weight. No dates, no phone calls, no flirting, no squishy love letters, no drinks...nothing. It will eventually become easy to tell who wants to party and who doesn't, thus making life easier on all of us.

You had me right up until the bolded. Just because she doesn't want to screw you doesn't mean she doesn't want your company. She might like you and not want to "go all the way" yet.

Frankly I think that if a girl says "no" and you walk out, it just proves that you were there for sex in the first place. And if she's saying no IN THE BEDROOM, you didn't do a good enough job getting the message across initially.

so... are you suggesting if a woman decides she doesn't want to have sex with you you'll cut off all contact?

But women are only good for fucking right? I mean no guy could ever want anything other than sex from any woman in his life. Hell, if the checkout girl doesn't give me a hand job, I call over a manager to complain.

/wildly overreaching misogyny

Originally Posted by Silver_key

No dates, no phone calls, no flirting, no squishy love letters, no drinks...nothing. It will eventually become easy to tell who wants to party and who doesn't, thus making life easier on all of us.

so... are you suggesting if a woman decides she doesn't want to have sex with you you'll cut off all contact?

It's better than date rape. Of course, I was stretching the bounds of exaggeration there....

On the other hand, if you're just on the prowl for sex then yeah, take the "no" and walk away before it turns into stalking or she gets a few more mixed (signals) drinks in her. If you want more, then just be sensible about things and have a heart.

It's better than date rape. Of course, I was stretching the bounds of exaggeration there....

On the other hand, if you're just on the prowl for sex then yeah, take the "no" and walk away before it turns into stalking or she gets a few more mixed (signals) drinks in her. If you want more, then just be sensible about things and have a heart.

It's sad that the only choice is date rape or walk away totally if a girl refuses to have sex with you.

It's sad that the only choice is date rape or walk away totally if a girl refuses to have sex with you.

what if you can liek totally tell she wants it even though she's playing hard to get and then she's all like 'NO WAY' but you know deep down she really means yes and you just have to be persistent and help lighten the mood a little with a beverage and then she's like 'Nooooooooooo....' and kinda trails off and you know she was about to say ok at the end before she just got a little sleepy.

But shortly after Kerry went home with Gabe, her close friend was raped by a UM freshman who followed her into her dorm from the parking lot. Video surveillance shows the student following her into the building and then walking out alone 40 minutes later, carrying her pants, which he inexplicably stole. Afterwards, there were blood stains not only on her bedding but on her mattress, causing officials to ask if the girl had her period. She did not. Like Kerry, her friend was told that her case lacked sufficient evidence.

Kerry convinced her friend to take her case to the university, which ultimately expelled her alleged assailant – much to the chagrin of then-Chief Deputy County Attorney Kirsten Pabst LaCroix, who came to the academic hearing to testify on behalf of the student. LaCroix later told the Missoulian that, while she wouldn't comment on the hearing, "when we file sex charges against someone, it's going to ruin their life. Filing charges rings a bell that cannot be unrung."

Kerry's friend dropped out of school shortly after the incident. Kerry often sees Gabe walking around campus, and wonders if he's tried to attack other girls he's met on the weekends. "The only reason he didn't rape me is because I woke up," she believes.

Seriously, holy shit. LaCroix is an idiot. Bubbuubububut I don't want to ruin the life of rapist. Murders probably love her, "but murder charges are permanent, once you ring that bell, you can't unring it."

It's sad that the only choice is date rape or walk away totally if a girl refuses to have sex with you.

Allow me to express a more elaborate opinion. Societal norms all start with a very broad statement and then gain nuance and refinement. As an example:

Wear clothes!
...unless you're at a nude beach
...but wear always clothes around other people's children
...and wear more clothes than usual at weddings and funerals
...but you can sometimes wear less clothes than usual at nightclubs and certain types of parties.

You might get strange looks if you were in a business suit at a nude beach but I doubt you'd be arrested. People are busted all the time though for being nude where they shouldn't. So, we can safely default to "Wear clothes!" and feel good about it.

If there is a problem with rape and "Don't rape!" is not working then I think it's valid to default to "No means walk away!". Those capable of adhering to a more nuanced approach to communication can puzzle it out but we can feel good if guys just walked away. This approach also helps to simplify the legal aspects as it establishes a firm basis for behavior. When in doubt, walk away. Everything else means the aggressor was not behaving acceptably.

Kerry convinced her friend to take her case to the university, which ultimately expelled her alleged assailant – much to the chagrin of then-Chief Deputy County Attorney Kirsten Pabst LaCroix, who came to the academic hearing to testify on behalf of the student.