Monday, June 20, 2011

Calendar Girl June 2011: Audrina Patridge

For June we have another young lady we had not previously heard of, one Audrina Patridge.

Audrina, it seems, is one of those girls who is famous for being famous (well, not that famous, obviously) originally coming to prominence on an MTV series called The Hills. Now, MTV, Agent Triple P would suggest, is almost singlehandedly responsible for the death of popular music in that it shifted the music industry's approach from aural to visual, resulting in the current crop of beautifully filmed but musically barren material that passes for popular music at present.

It has meant the inexorable rise of interchangeable, attractive (Lady Gaga excepted), no-talent girl "singers" and a total lack of musical creativity; possibly, for Triple P, reaching its absolute nadir with an excruciating piece called Like a G 6 by Far East Movement (the Far East movement in question obviously being one from the bowels, having eaten some dodgy fish bladder soup in Vietnam, or some such). This inexplicably popular track features a woman speaking a very limited lyric in a flat monotone over some random key board noises that appear to have been recorded from a Major Morgan the Electric Organ toy.

Now just in case it is thought that Agent Triple P thinks all modern dance music is utter rubbish and there has been no worthwhile popular music since 1985 (largely true) we did enjoy the recent hit by LMFAO, Party Rock Anthem. It made Like a G6 look like Mahler's Third Symphony in comparison.

Anyway, we digress. Miss Patridge first appeared in the MTV show The Hills a "reality" show which purported to show the lives of several young women living in Los Angeles. The fact is, of course, all these people are hired and paid a salary to appear so perhaps the term "alternate reality" might be more accurate.

Miss Patridge, who was born in Placentia, California and is now 26, was working as a receptionist at a film studios before appearing in The Hills. Having appeared in more episodes than any other "character" she is trying very hard to break into acting; the highlight being, so far, the straight to DVD sequel to the dire Into the Blue (only worth watching for the scenes of Jessica Alba swimming underwater) called, naturally, Into the Blue 2.

A number of modelling assignments, minor TV presenting and internet presenting (oh dear) jobs have followed. Currently she is reduced to a projected new reality show showing her life after The Hills.

She also appeared on Dancing with the Stars in the US in 2010 (she came 7th out of 12). This is a re-make of the BBC series Strictly Come Dancing where a lot of C-list celebrities try to revive their careers by becoming the country's favourite ballroom dancer. Audrina seems to be attempting to by-pass the becoming famous bit by jumping straight in to revive a career that never really took off in the first place.

In March 2008 some of these nude photos of Audrina appeared on the internet resulting in the usual American starlet disclaimer. In Audrina's case she said they were taken just after she left high school when she was starting off as a model and that she was "naive" when they were taken and was worried about what her "young fans" might think. Wouldn't it be nice if once in a while someone said "yes, I posed nude and I looked absolutely amazing, so there!" The real issue, of course, is that apart from worrying about upsetting notoriously conservative US TV "family values" (do American families not walk around nude at home?) they don't make any money from the release of pictures. We also wonder exactly how naive she was given that they were, apparently, specifically taken to be submitted to Playboy (they were rejected).

One result of the appearance of the pictures was that everyone said that it was obvious that she had had breast implants; something she denied. In fact, she denied having her nose and lips done, she never specifically included her bust in this denial.

Recently, it has been suggested that she has had bigger implants and the calendar picture at the top of this post seems to confirm this (compare with the picture underneath it).

Whether we will hear any more of Miss Patridge seems doubtful (unless one habitually watches dismal American "reality" TV shows) although we have to give her credit for trying hard.

Never mind, her calendar shot is quite nice and it is always pleasing to see a brunette rather than yet another bleached blonde, so we have enjoyed having her on our wall this month rather more than some of the previous entries this year.