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Monday, March 9, 2015

Galka Mayo Series - Grisser

So this is something that I had commissioned for me, it's also not written by someone who uses Japanese as their native language. Which makes translating it sometimes actually difficult in an odd way. I haven't tested it myself but I felt like I was reading a doujinshi with dialogue plugged into ENG->JP Google Translate.
Honestly bad Japanese aside it wasn't any better or worse than your usual doujinshi, in fact a saving grace was the lack of dialogue at some points allowing you to just enjoy the nice artwork.

Any complaints about the bad Japanese are pretty much moot point since hopefully my translations don't relay that over. I can say that the last two did give me some good laughs though.

<WARNING> In the following paragraphsI go off onto random tangents, make terrible jokes and wild speculations that have no real basis aside from entertaining my imagination. Read at your own risk.

Starting off with Galka Daddy our protagonist "Barky" claims he's never drunk a beer in his life but then he comments immediately after "beer and porn the best combo". Although we can easily write this off as the easily impressionable and gullible Barky just trying to fit in and say things that sound cool. The final discrepancy that I didn't quite get or maybe the twist was it was all a plot to get in Barky's pants, which is highly likely is Barky's great friend "Fit" states his Father isn't home so they can have his beer. Turns out his Dad is upstairs having his afternoon/evening sit-down with one of his dildo's and Fit knew it the whole time, what a twist indeed. It is also here where the pun Galka Mayo, which in the original series I can only imagine was a clever way to refer to their semen wasn't ever touched on and wasn't even mentioned by it's name, is first mentioned.

It's amazing uses in this story is lube specifically for Galka penises, is there some health reasons why regular lube can't be used? Is there a reason why it is referred to as a type of condiment or food in the next series? Is this some time for in the future when people realized Galka Mayo was actually just Galka semen they've been putting on their sandwiches and now it's reduced to just a sexy toy/tool for Galkas? A truly profound mystery this is. Now that we're done with that tangent let's go back to the finale "Galka Sausage Factory"

After being in a unspecified future or maybe an Alternate Universe where Galka's live in some kind of present day environment we are returned to the roots of Galka's, the FFXI universe. This story starts off with another gullible protagonist who ends up getting taken advantage of for sex, but that isn't a minus really at this point. What is amusing is that he is introduced as loving muscular men with a nice mental image of naked Galka's and then when put in a sex-related situation proclaims "I'm not gay!". While this could have been just a random exclamation in the heat of the moment his sexuality was already made clear moments ago. Then we have the ever wonderful Galka Mayo and the introduction of the Galka Sausage. So if Galka Mayo is semen from Galka's then is sausages their dicks? Has our main character been a happy cannibal since birth? It claims to be a sausage factory on the door of the establishment and you can easily enter by proclaiming your love for their product. But inside of the so-called factory is merely a standard pub/bar, one possibility is that the name is merely a cheesy-name for a well-known Galka-only gay bar. A gay bar that has an underground business of selling its semen to the public as a condiment. The final mystery still remains is, assuming the name of the bar is just a dirty reference to gay Galka sex, what was this mysterious meat our protagonist was eating before coming to this city. Maybe out in the boonies where he had never seen any other races his small village was forced to feed on each other to survive in hard times. And now after developing a craving for the flesh of his own kind while still an innocent young lad he was banished from his home-town where he discovers a perfect source to feed his new craving. Now we understand what he meant in the beginning when he said he loved muscular men. It was an exclamation about his sexuality but that loved his food to be at it's prime, full of muscle and delicious. Truly a terrifying story indeed.