Who knew I'd be back so soon? I just couldn't resist posting Manny Ramirez's appearance on Jay Leno. Hell, who knew Manny and Leno were "car" acquaintances??

Indoor sunglasses. Diaper on the back of his head. Hugs all around. Car talk. Pounds with the "40 year old virgin". Helmet talk. Finger pointing. Manny being Manny!

Lastly, there is a 0% chance that Manny's father owned a '56 Chrysler Imperial. No chance. In this part of the interview, Leno threw Manny a curveball -- and Manny bit for it in a big way...hook, line, and sinker! This chain of events cemented the fact that Manny was going to eventually break out his Youkilis line (which we all know he had been contemplating for days now).

Friday, November 2, 2007

Remember me...no?? Good - just the way I like it. Remember Carmen (a Win Column favorite since inception)?? Now we're talking.

Anyway, the primary reason I'm writing this post is because I promised Orlando that I would congratulate the Red Sox and Red Sox Nation on their recent World Series championship. To a million more "pink hat" fans...cheers. Was it wrong for me to wish San Diego's fires upon Lansdowne last Sunday evening?

It's probably no coincidence that I'm just now coming to grips with such fate - after all, the Celtics and Providence Friars begin their quest for dominance tonight.

In all honesty, these last few weeks have been a whirlwind. I was interviewed by CBS (Channel 2 in NY) minutes after the news that Joe Torre had rejected the Yankees' $5M (+ incentives) job offer. I was elated!! As I've said for 2 years now, Joe Torre was the worst possible manager for the New York Yankees job. The Yankees are in the midst of a youth movement. Newsflash! Joe Torre heavily favors veterans over any and all youngsters. Because Torre has made it his mission to destroy every pitcher's arm (now that Torre is a Dodger, I can only pray for Scott Proctor and his family), the "Joba Rules" were solely implemented as a defense to Torre's insanity. Torre is an awful in-game manager...he refuses to move runners along. Torre benched Gary Sheffield in the deciding game vs. the Tigers in the 2006 ALDS, the day after he batted the best baseball player on the planet (A-Rod) 8th!!! Are you kidding me???? Sheffield's presence and bat wiggle is enough to make Kenny Rogers crap himself on the mound! Torre's Yankees hadn't made it out of the 1st round of the playoffs in 3 consecutive years. Torre's Yankees hadn't won a championship in 7 years. That's $1.2 BILLION down the tubes. Where's the accountability??? Joe, I thank you for your efforts during your tenure - I loved you for years, but your time clearly expired.

Alex Rodriguez - for the past 4 years, I was your biggest fan. I defended you to death, no matter the struggles. Today, you are dead to me. You have genuinely and sincerely hurt me.

So, who plays 3B for the Yanks next year? None other than Robbie Cano. If the Yanks can sign Orlando Hudson to play 2B (defensive whiz with great bat control and plate discipline), Cano is the Yanks' 3B. You heard it hear first.

In order to avoid rambling, I need to cut this short (God, I have so much more I want/need to vent). However, I need to get something off my chest before signing off...WHO IS CORNSTARR??? Some of his stuff is funny -- but, I'm convinced Cornstarr is, in real life, "The Entertainer" from VH1's 'I Love New York'.

Will I be back for autographs? Who knows. But in the meantime, keep it gangsta...

This is a term that was dropped on me by a Vassar chick I play hoops with. Apparently during college many of her female peers felt it was easier to hook up with girls (Vassar being predominantly women) than pursue the few men on campus. I'm pretty sure that most of the hotties in the Girls Kissing video posted below are LUG's, and that Vassar was a panoply of incredibly attractive babes with soft, great smelling skin constantly making out with each other.

However, with graduation, and the looming resubmersion into an environment filled with c*ck, these fine ladies changed their tune upon getting a diploma handed to them and decided that they actually weren't lesbians at all. I'm not making this sh*t up, this was brought to my attention by someone who experienced it first hand, and then verified by another chick I know who went to Mount Holyoke... which is all women. It is an observed, noted, and absolutely real social phenomenon.

So here's to you, LUG's! TheWinColumn salutes you! We whole-heartedly support your crusade to make it socially acceptable for two (or three or four) chicks to make out, and then decide they want the d*ck afterall. Hopefully, with hard work and perseverance, we can get the turn around time down from 4 years to 4 hours, and transition you ladies from LUG's to LULC's (Lesbians Until Last Call).

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Dont get me wrong Mike Lowell is the man and Red Sox Nation will be lost without him next year if we dont sign him. That doesnt take away from the fact that he looks like The Brain from Pinky & The Brain..... NO? You be the judge....

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I realize this story won't interest everybody (Wimpy), but for those of you who it DOES interest you may find this invaluable. NPR reported a story today that highlighted former Texas narcotics officer Barry Cooper. Cooper was basically the top narcotics officer in west Texas logging in an impressive/depressing 800 drug arrests in 8 years only now to be switching sides releasing an instructional DVD sharing his secrets to help people not get busted.

To give you a little context - after Cooper was so successful in west Texas he was promoted to a more troublesome area of east Texas where it was believed that the drug use was spiraling out of control. But, after a few months on the job, he found himself at the sh*tend of the stick when it came to small town politics. First, Cooper arrested the mayor's son for possession of methamphetamines. He then arrested a city councilman for driving with a bag of pot and a gun which inevitably gained him some very high-ranking enemies. After a few months Cooper started to get some blow back when he was arrested for theft after returning rental movies late and for unlawfully carrying a gun. These charges led to the city trying to take away his kids.

Disenchanted with law enforcement he decided to give them a big d*ckslap in the face and make some money doing it and released this video divulging his secrets.

Listen, I'm not sure what to make of all this. To be honest I'm a bit dubious. Plus I’m not 100% convinced by his motivations either. I've watched some of the clips on youtube and they haven't impressed me. My hope is that this guy isn't releasing any of the good information because he wants people to buy the DVD. I do know this; the guy obviously has a ton of experience and knows a ton about busting spaced-out stoners....right? So maybe its worth the $24.95 to find out.

I posted below that I couldn't possibly think of a more "me-centered" athlete than A-Rod. I was wrong. For some reason, god knows why, Kobe Bryant didn't come to mind.

However, if you saw him bitching and whining his way through the Lakers' opening night, you got a good reminder. Like Yankees fans souring on A-Rod, Lakers fans are turning on Kobe. Any why not? He's been jerking LA fans around like a girl who loves you, but you're not all that into, so you hook up with her and don't call her, but then you get drunk one night and text her so you can get some ass, and then go right back to not calling her, or maybe IM with her just to lead her on.

Anyway, Kobe gave a sulky press conference after the game because he didn't get a call at the buzzer. I'm sure the fact that his team lost last night had nothing to do with the fact that its a shell of its former self because he destroyed the chemistry that won them 3 championships, or because his egomaniacal demands continue to alienate him from his coach and team.

Monday, October 29, 2007

If you think that Scott Boras didn't time the announcement that A-Rod will be opting out of his contract with the Yankees to coincide with the Red Sox World Series victory, you should check yourself into a mental ward, because you're clearly dillusional.

For those of you who missed it, Boras announced, just prior to the game last night, that A-Rod was going to test the waters to see if any other teams are foolish enough to mortgage their franchise to get him (they phrased it differently, of course, but the principal remains the same). A-Rod had until 10 days after the World Series to make this announcement, so why do it during the last game? Because he's A-Rod, the most self-serving, me-athlete on the planet. If you can think of one that's bigger, please let me know.

So instead of talking about how great the Red Sox were, or how the Rockies amazing streak came to an end when they ran into to the buzzsaw of Red Sox Nation, or how incredible it is that 2 rookies batting 1 and 2 would put up 7 runs, or how Mike Lowell went from trade afterthought to World Series MVP, we were forced to hear about A-Rod.

Poor Peter Gammons was disgusted. When asked about where A-Rod might go, he began to answer the question, then it dawned on him that the Red Sox were behind him celebrating their second World Series win in 4 years, and he was talking about A-Rod, and he put everything in perspective by ripping A-Rod on national television. This is one of many reasons for which I love Peter Gammons.

So it's official: Everyone hates A-Rod. Everyone in the league hates him because he's a prick, and the Yankees fans that rooted for him now hate him because he's leaving the team to try to get more money... so that begs the questions - Does anyone like A-Rod? Anyone?! I can't think of a red-blooded American who would stand up and say, "I'm a huge Alex Rodriguez fan." Hell, just writing it made me throw up in my mouth.