lolwtf: "F1 Nose Cone and Steering Wheel with Clock and Neon Light"

I'm not sure what's more incredible about this... whatever the fuck. The fact that its design resembles a toy F1, a steering wheel and a wall clock shot together through a Cronenberg matter teleportation device, or the bizarre hunchback model they've got squinting and slouching in front of it for an infusion of sex appeal.
F1 Nose Cone and Steering Wheel with Clock and Neon Light [Yab Design via Nerd Approved]

That vague fear creeps into my stomach, a kind of pre-adolescent fascination with the apparent care put into this rubbish, and hence admiration, but a keen knowing that it’s wrong, it doesn’t fit with the growing vision of the world, but darn it little Harry was congratulated by the pretty art teacher for his efforts and look at this stuff doesn’t it look just like his and my if I could do it too how many people would want to be my friend I’d have lollies and candyfloss and special clown seats and balloons I’d get a call from Ringling I’d have an agent I’d be rich and desirable oh my … oh my … I think I will take up awful, awful sculpture too.

And the good bit is – I’m so sightless viz my true place shoved into a dark corner by Rodin and Henry Moore that I’d never even know the shame or embarassment that would normally eventually evolve out of my observations of the reactions around me.

There’s a scary movie here folks.

Added to that the fact that I have a mild preference for the work of mon-sieur bome. After seeing those figures, i just don’t know what’s wrong and what’s right.

Frankly, I find the daring of their post-neo-dadaist surrealism to be composed chiefly of *HORK*.

I spotted another timepiece themed as someone of our favorite Age-of-Discovery Privateer class, but between the location of the ship’s wheel, scale of the thumbnail, and my own para-dyslexic effect removing a critical “L”…
thought they were marketing Pirate Cock for a moment.

I shall look no further, as I now expect imminently to find your junk in a box for sale.

Okay, I’ll confess that I went looking for the larger-than-life-size kneeling blindfolded topless bronze figure. But my mind screamed ‘it hurts, it hurts!’ well before I found it.

I mean, it’s easy to take cheap shots at ‘Alien Encounter On Motorbike’, or the knight’s helmet trash can but…even the normal stuff is bad. It’s just bland. The facial features on the figurines – is this Expressionlessism?

After seeing this and those Lamborghini stilettos I think I need a unicorn chaser. Where was that site where the artist reproduced classic paintings from vegetables? Without irony, those were awesome.

And is this clock contraption not a Buckaroo bonsai sort of thing? Maybe they drove through a mountain and ended up inside their own steering wheel. It could happen to any of us really. The girl of course was the driver. She now has part of the shifter lodged in her spine.

The model is sexy. I prefer models who look like ‘real’ women over the typical models who look like their bodies have been surgically enhanced by plastic devices and venom-derived toxins injected under the skin.