Friday, November 02, 2012

Better Captions Through Crowdsourcing

The Morons at Acebook helped with these:

1. The SCOAMF wondered, "How could those tiny, tiny hands shove so much food into that gaping maw?"
2. Christie: "I was told there would be a meal on this flight!"
3. Christie: "What do you mean I have to pay for TWO seats?"
4. Christie: "Mr. President, I may or may not have just passed gas - please remain calm."
5. Christie: "....and so I deep fry the butter BEFORE I pour it over the popcorn..."
6. Christie: "So, this 'donut hole' in Medicare that you keep talking about. Does it have sprinkles?"
7. Christie: "He will join us or die, my Master!"
8. Christie: I'm still voting for Mitt,but you had candy.
9. SCOAMF: "Governor, I hope you are enjoying your first... and *last*... ride in the presidential helicopter."
10. SCOAMF Thoughtbubble: "Hmmm, the engines are going full power and we're barely at treetop level."
11. "I'm tellin' ya, take the Jets. You can't miss, Sanchez is playing like freakin' Montana, it's a _sure_thing."
12. "You got a wider lavatory on this thing? I really gotta shit!"
13. Joke and the Fatman.

Gov. Christie: "No, Barry, it's FEMA. FE-MA. Not 'female'--when you call your people down in DC, make sure you contact FEMA. {pause} No, no...not 'femur'--oh, lord, someone open the door and toss this idiot out! My state is underwater and this guy wants to send me thigh bones."

Governor Christie lives to regret counting on the SCOAMF for anything resembling support.

President: "So is it a deal? You go on Fox News and tell everyone how Presidential I am..."Governor: "And you release the relief supplies immediately and throw in all of the honey buns the feds removed from school breakfasts..."

You realize that now that I've complimented you, I'll have to go on television and pander to my own party? No hard feelings?Of course not, it's the "speak out of both sides of the mouth" trick we politicians master early on, Chris. Ah, we've reached cruising altitude. You can get out now.HUH? Whaaaa?

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