And so to the next in our series of pre-tournament football arts from that lovable scamp Dotmund, who today has stories of misfortune and distemper from Nigeria, Portugal, Russia & South Korea. You can follow Dotmund on Twitter by clicking here. You can follow...

So it was all about Cristiano Ronaldo doing nothing. And I pilloried BBC commentators for fawning over him even while he was doing nothing, when they’d actually spotted the defining moment of Portugal’s tournament. “Look at Ronaldo, just waiting for his opportunity”...

It has become the cheapest thing in football writing to criticise its television commentators. I almost feel like I’m cheating if I get cheap laughs out of an article on the foibles of Alan Green, Peter Drury et al… So, let’s get serious. This European Championship...

So, we have had our twenty-four hour break and it is on to the quarter-finals – the business end, if you will – of the 2012 European Championships. And if there is one player above all others who looks as if he may be the one that is talked about in hushed...

What a strange game of football this was. Jamie Carragher in the ITV studio called it the tournament’s best to date. But Clyde Tyldesley in the ITV commentary box was struggling for euphemisms for dull in the third quarter. And vast swathes of the first half weren’t...