1 cup strong brewed coffee (or more to taste, depending on strength, I like French Roast but pick your own favorite)

6 ounces coarsely chopped semi-sweet or bittersweet chocolate

Directions

Heat milk and heavy cream in a sauce pot over medium heat until just scalded.

While the milk and cream are heating, combine the egg yolks and sugar in a medium mixing bowl. Slowly add scalded milk mixture until well combined. Add the hot milk to the egg/sugar mixture slowly so it doesn’t scramble the eggs, whisking well the entire time.

Pour the milk mixture back into the pot. Cook over medium-low heat until the mixture thickens and coats the back of the spoon, about 10 minutes or so. Be sure to stir well, especially toward the end o the cooking time. And don’t try to rush it – the eggs will scramble and the whole thing will curdle.

Remove the mixture from the heat, and pour through a fine mesh strainer into a 2 quart container. Stir in the coffee. Cool to room temperature, then chill for at least four hours. Freeze according to your ice cream maker’s instructions. During the last five minutes of churning, add the chopped chocolate bits.

The first time I had chicharones was at my mother’s house in Birmingham a few years ago. My evil sister had bought them and left them on the counter. Now I had grown up with pork rinds – so the concept was nothing new. But the really SNEAKY thing about chicharones is that they taste so light and fluffy. Like rice cakes! So they can’t be that bad for you!

And I’m all about justification. Later that week we did a ‘clean out the fridge’ mac and cheese – and when I went looking for bread crumbs or crackers or something to top the casserole dish, all we had were chicharones. So I played my justification card, crunched them up and made what turned out to be a rockin’ dish of mac and cheese. I promptly forgot about it, especially since I was light-years away from food blogging, and tend to have no short term memory at the best of times. Until….

Lo and hark! I walked into the grocery with my Evil Twin Clone – A.K.A. my daughter, Lanthe. We spied a bag of chicharones, and while justifying the purchase she said “but you could cook something with it”! To which I replied (having spied the matching display of green chiles), “why yes, Most Brilliant Favorite Child, I could”. And so – Chicharones Mac and Cheese – we meet again….

Now if you aren’t as comfortable with your fried porky bits or The Justification Center of your brain as I am, or if you just don’t have access to chicharones, feel free to substitute buttered bread crumbs for the chicharones in this recipe. But a small part of your soul will quite possibly wither and die. Not for sure – but maybe. And why risk it?

And you could – probably – use plain old pork rinds instead of chicharones. But you’d rob yourself of all the fun of saying chicharones. Rolling the ‘r’ in pork rinds isn’t nearly as exotic and sexy as rolling the ‘r’ in chicharones. Go ahead – try it.

Heat oven to 350°. Grease a 2-quart baking dish, or make the cheese sauce in a heavy Dutch oven and bake the macaroni and cheese right in that.

Cook macaroni in boiling salted water following package directions. Drain and rinse well.

In a heavy Dutch oven over medium heat, melt the butter. Stir in flour and pepper until well blended and bubbly. Gradually add the milk, stirring constantly. Cook, stirring constantly, until thickened. Stir in cheeses and green chiles.

Cook, stirring, until cheese is melted. Taste and add salt, as needed. Stir in coriander, cayenne, garlic powder and mustard. Add drained macaroni and stir to combine. If baking in a casserole dish, spoon mixture into prepared baking dish.

Combine 2 tablespoons melted butter with the bread crumbs and sprinkle over the macaroni and cheese. Alternately, sprinkle with crushed chicharones. Sprinkle lightly with paprika.

Ok – I usually post pictures of stuff I’m making in my own kitchen – experiments – on my Facebook page, well before I’m ready to actually blog the complete recipe. And I did the same thing with this recipe for blueberry sorbet. I had been cleaning out my monstrous body-sized chest freezer and found the last of the blueberries we picked last summer. In preparation for this year’s harvest, I decided to do the most decadent, extravagant thing I could think of with blueberries – smash them, sugar them up, and turn them into ice cream. I stuck a picture up – and now ya’ll are going to be stuck with not much more for a story – because my friend Eric Taylor has been clamoring for the recipe ever since.

He’s been posting on my Facebook page by writing in a weirdly appealing Yoda-Rico type of syntax. And because it cracked me up – here we go. Now – strictly speaking, sorbet is simply fruit and no dairy, and so it’s not ice cream. But I’ve been on an ice cream binge so we got here. And to ease my story-telling soul, I will say this was made with berries picked by all seven of my Horde O’Precious Darlings, not a month after we became a family in our present incarnation. So I intend to serve this to them all tonight, and smile while they make mmmm-mmm sounds as they eat it. Make it for yourself. And make your own mmm-mmm’s you will.

Blueberry Sorbet

2 ½ pounds fresh or frozen blueberries

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup honey

2 teaspoons lemon zest

2 tablespoons lemon juice

2 tablespoons corn syrup

Pinch salt

Fresh blueberries for garnish

METHOD

1 Place the blueberries, sugar, honey, lemon zest, lemon juice, and salt in a large bowl. Stir to coat blueberries with the sugar.

2 Put the blueberries into a blender and blend for a couple of minutes until smooth.

3 Place a sieve over a large bowl and working in batches, press the mixture through the sieve, using a rubber spatula. This will catch the tougher and larger pieces of lemon and blueberry peel.

4 Chill the mixture for at least an hour in the fridge, then process following the directions of your ice cream maker.

Either use immediately, or freeze for a couple of hours for a firmer texture.

French Scrambled Eggs

This is simply taking the principle of easy-does-it a step further – leave it to the French to find the ultimate way to prepare something, huh? In the last section on scrambled eggs, I talked about how low and easy heat was the key to making sure scrambled eggs were nice and tender. If you really love this, try this method. It seems complicated, but it really isn’t. You aren’t doing a thing you didn’t do before, except giving the eggs a cushion between themselves and the heat source.

French Scrambled Eggs

Set up a double boiler, either a standard one, or a metal bowl suspended over a pot of gently simmering water. Once of the tricks to using a double boiler correctly is to make sure the water doesn’t touch the bottom of the vessel the food is in. Remember how the amount of stirring results in the size of the curd? This method, when you stir often and gently, will give the very most fluffy, tender and creamy scrambled eggs ever. No kidding. It takes a bit longer, but honestly, not THAT much longer. You may not want to try this on a busy weekday morning, but give it a shot on a lazy weekend morning.

You’ll Need:

Ingredients:

2 large eggs

1 tablespoon cream

Salt and pepper

Butter

Equipment:

Whisk

Medium mixing bowl

Double boiler or small pot and a metal bowl

Soft (rubber) spatula or wooden spoon

Crack your eggs into the mixing bowl, add about a tablespoon of water (you can also use milk, half and half or cream if you wish) and whisk well. Since we’re working on a French variation, knock yourself out and add cream – I’ll allow it. Make sure the yolk and white is fully combined. You’re adding air into the eggs, which will result in a fluffier, creamier texture.

Set up your double boiler – or a metal bowl over simmering water. Add the butter to the top of the double boiler and allow it to melt. Once melted, add your whisked eggs, and stir. Again – how often you stir determines the size of the curds and the texture of the finished product.

Once the eggs have set about halfway, sprinkle with a bit of salt and pepper, and continue stirring. Right before you think they are done, remove the eggs to a plate. They will continue cooking just a bit.

I adore lamb, and I adore Greek food. But there are a couple of issues with both here in East Tennessee. The first is that lamb is hard to find, and when you can find it, it’s invariably rather expensive. The second is in my particular neck of the woods, Greek food isn’t very common either.

Which leaves me with a significant issue when I want Greek food. Now granted, I haven’t had huge exposure to Greek food, although there is a wonderful Greek community in Birmingham, where my Daddy lived when I was growing up, and he took me to several luscious dinners hosted by friends. But when I do want Greek, I have to do my typical Thrillbilly thing, and make sure I capture the essence of the foods with the available ingredients. Luckily Greek food is made of simple, delicious things, prepared in a straightforward manner for the most part.

For this burger I use a nice lean beef instead of lamb, although a lamb burger would be fabulous – use it if you have it! The trick as usual with burgers is not to over work the meat, and don’t go pressing on it or flipping them more than once. Make sure they rest well – and if you follow those simple tips, your burgers will be juicy, flavorful and fabulous!

Greek Burgers with Tzatziki Sauce

2 pounds lean ground beef or chuck, about 90/10

1/2 cup finely chopped red onion

2 teaspoons dried oregano

1/2 teaspoon salt

Vegetable cooking spray

1 (4-oz.) package crumbled feta cheese

6-8 hamburger buns, split and toasted

Toppings: lettuce leaves, tomato slices

Instructions

In a large mixing bowl, mix together the first four ingredients. Mix gently but thoroughly. Form into patties – I’d make 8 burgers from 2 pounds of beef. These are hearty!

Heat a grill pan over medium high heat, and spray with cooking spray. Cook the patties right about 5 minutes per side, flipping only once.

Toast buns, and place one patty on each bun. Spoon taztziki sauce over each one. Sprinkle top with feta cheese, top with lettuce and tomato and serve!

In a medium mixing bowl, stir together all ingredients. Taste and adjust for salt, pepper and hot sauce or red pepper. Cover and chill until ready to use.

Note: If you can’t find Greek yogurt, use a regular low fat plain yogurt. Place it in a strainer on top of a coffee filter, and stash it for several hours in the refrigerator. The whey will drain, leaving a much richer, creamer ‘heartier’ Greek-style yogurt.

And another note: If you’re going to be making this more than about a half hour ahead, place the cucumber in a strainer with a little salt. A lot of the water will drain away, and not make your sauce watery later.

When I’m trying to get one of my Horde O’Precious Darlings to try a new vegetable, I usually have to simply grit my teeth, and be prepared to offer it at least ten-twenty times before I can get them to accept it. Sometimes it doesn’t work even then. And that’s why I take a deep breath, and remember my own childhood, and how absolutely adamant I was that asparagus was evil.

Matter of fact, after a while childhood had nothing to do with it. I was well into my 30’s before I even attempted to eat asparagus, and when I finally gave up my stubborn ways and tried it, I was astounded. I loved the stuff! After experimenting with it for a while, I realized exactly what had happened in childhood, and why Delightful Asparagus can still have a Nasty Evil Twin.

The first issue is canned asparagus – that stuff is gross. Tinny and metallic, it has a mushy texture that just screams “I’ll make you GAG…muhahahahaha”! I’m serious – listen closely to some and you’ll hear it. Even the smell is horrible. Stay away. Not only will I not buy it, I promise on my first born son (both of them!) that I pledge as a mother never to visit that particular torture on my Horde.

The second is larger stalks of asparagus. Once they very thick, it takes a significant amount of cooking to combat the woodiness that can be present. Often this means the vegetable is simply overcooked to my taste, and the metallic thingy that comes with the canned version begins to show up. Ewww.

However – when the asparagus is so fresh you can practically see Spring inside it, when it’s thin and tender to start with, and when it is cooked only until it is crisp-tender, still popping to the bite, it is a revelation. I love it roasted, fried, sauteed, steamed, rolled in prosciutto, dotted with bacon – even drizzled with oil and sprinkled with salt and eaten raw. I’ve discovered that the youngest members of the Horde will actually snack on the stuff, and this is their favorite way to get it. I can set this out like carrot or celery sticks, and my Littles will crunch their way through the entire bunch. High in fiber, thiamine, potassium and B6, that makes me an awesome mother. It really does. The fact that this stuff is delicious – even to a die-hard anti-asparagus reactionary like myself? That’s the bonus.

Sautéed Lemon Garlic Asparagus

Sauteed Lemon Garlic Asparagus

Ingredients

2 tablespoons butter

1 bunch fresh asparagus – the thinner stalks work better for sautéing

2 cloves fresh garlic, minced

Juice from one lemon

2 tablespoons white wine

Kosher salt to taste

Directions

In a large skillet over medium high heat, melt butter. Add garlic and asparagus, sprinkle very lightly with salt and sauté for about five minutes, tossing occasionally.

Add lemon juice and white wine, cooking for just another minute for a crisp-tender asparagus. Be careful not to overcook. Taste, adjust for seasoning and serve immediately.

In a large colander or strainer, lightly salt the cucumber, toss and set them aside to drain for about 10-15 minutes.

Place the onions in a large bowl, set aside.

In a small mixing bowl or measuring cup, whisk together the garlic, chives and vinegar. Slowly whisk in the oil in a steady stream, and continue whisking until well combined. Add red pepper flakes, salt and pepper to taste.

Add the cucumber slices to the bowl with the onion, pour in dressing and toss well to combine. Taste and adjust for salt and pepper. Cover and chill for at least ½ hour, and up to 24 – the flavors will combine and marry beautifully. Toss again before serving well chilled.

Ok – you don’t really have to. But I have a serious obsession with burgers. I think maybe because they are just as fabulous as the egg. Eggs are simple, inexpensive, easy to work with (following a couple basic principles) and endlessly adaptable. Burgers are the same way – I like to think of these foods as the little black dresses of the culinary world. I don’t think there are very ingredients in this beautiful world that I won’t ground up, smash together and slap on buns of some kind.

When I started playing with burgers made of anything other than ground beef, it was because my local grocery was running some serious specials on ground chicken. I think the first I worked with was ground white meat, and I have a preference for ground dark meat poultry. But either one will work. Dark meat poultry will be more flavorful, and will have less of a tendency to dry out, but I’ve discovered that ground white meat is usually more available – at least where I live.

Bacon Ranch Chicken Burgers

I normally don’t use very many prepared foods – I just don’t like the way they taste. And I really don’t like not being in control of the salt and sugar content. But in this case I took the shortcut – the little packets of dressing mix add just the right touch. Plus – the taste is hard to duplicate – I know, I’ve tried. And it’s delicious. Flat. Out. Fabulous.

Now – the preference here is for the grill, by far. But if you can’t grill for some reason (I know – it taste a blizzard or a toddler for me not to grill) then you can do it in a non stick skillet. Just hit it for 7 minutes per side on medium heat. On the stovetop it is a little trickier to get the heat just right in order to develop a lovely crust on the outside and have the poultry cooked through. A touch of olive oil helps, but it’s not necessary if you’re watching your fat intake. And if you want to be rather wicked, instead of olive oil, use a touch of the fat from the bacon. I won’t tell.

Put all ingredients except chicken in the bowl of a food process and process until pretty smooth. You’ll have a very loose paste.

Add paste to ground chicken, and mix well, but as little as possible. Handling the meat more than necessary will make it tough.

Divide meat into 8 equal portions, and shape into patties. Chill until ready to use.

Cook bacon until crisp, set aside and keep warm.

Preheat grill to medium high. Make sure the temp is nice and hot, and that the grill is well oiled. This is what keeps the burgers from sticking – and helps insure that you’ll have beautiful grill marks.

Grill the burgers on the first side – without turning them! – covered for 7 minutes. Flip them – ONCE. The grilling pixies will come bite you in the night if you flip them more than once, uncover them, or squish them to hear the little sizzle sound.

Grill the second side for 6 minutes. Remove to a platter to rest. Top with the goat cheese while they rest.

To assemble – while the burgers rest, grill the buns for just a minute until toasty. Spread the warm buns with sour cream, and add the burgers. Top with lettuce, red onion, tomato and a couple of slices bacon each.

The Egg

“Eggs have two advantages over all other foods. First, they are procurable nearly everywhere; second, the most dainty person is sure when eating eggs that they have not been handled.”

‘A Book for A Cook’, The Pillsbury Co. (1905)

It’s not called the incredible edible for nothing. I always start with teaching eggs, and I do it for a good reason. They are amazingly nutritious, extremely affordable and super simple to cook. They can serve as a standalone dish, be dressed up and accessorized, or used as the base for some terrific recipes. I’ve heard that many novices in classic kitchens under the apprentice system are asked to audition by preparing an omelet. The reasoning behind this is simple – eggs are fundamental in the kitchen, and yet many people never learn how to handle them correctly. Not that eggs are fussy – they’re far from fussy or difficult. But think of an egg as the perfect little black dress. Treat it well, care for it, accessorize it to your hearts’ content and it will serve you beautifully and take you many places with style. Treat it badly – throw it in the washing machine, top it with too much, or worst, wear it with white tights – and you’ll hope forever that no one remembers or took pictures.

Scrambled Eggs

Eggs are beautifully simple. They are a nearly perfect source of protein – the white being pure protein. They contain all the amino acids necessary for human nutrition, and they are relatively low in calories. A large egg contains about 75 calories, 60 of those in the yolk. I’m not a nutritionist, and you’ll have to go to one for more details on the chemical makeup, but they do contain significant amounts of vitamin A, the B’s, vitamin D, iron, calcium and potassium. And while there is some fat and cholesterol in the yolk, the fat is not terribly significant, and the cholesterol (in recent studies) seems to be unused by the human body. For more information on the nutritional breakdown of eggs, check out the article Good Eggs, For Nutrition They’re Hard To Beat by Kathleen M. Zelman, MPH, RD, LD.

Eggs are also delicious – even with nothing but a bit of salt and pepper, a couple of eggs can be a nutritious, luscious meal that is ready within minutes. Two eggs come in at 150 calories, and in my neck of the woods cost less than $.25. That’s Bombshell no matter how you look at it. So we’re going to start with the absolute most basic dish I know – scrambled eggs. And on a side note – I’m not going to tell you the only ‘right’ way to do things. What I will do is explain how to get the result YOU want. Which I suppose really is the only right way to do things!

“I have had, in my time, memorable meals of scrambled eggs with fresh truffles, scrambled eggs with caviar and other glamorous things, but to me, there are few things as magnificent as scrambled eggs, pure and simple, perfectly cooked and perfectly seasoned.”
James Beard, ‘On Food’ (1974)

Scrambled Eggs

You’ll Need:

Ingredients:

2 large eggs

Salt and pepper

Butter, cooking spray or olive oil (your choice)

Equipment:

Whisk

Medium mixing bowl

Small (8-inch) non-stick skillet

Soft (rubber) spatula or wooden spoon

Crack your eggs into the mixing bowl, add about a tablespoon of water (you can also use milk, half and half or cream if you wish) and whisk well. Don’t skimp the whisking. You’re adding air into the eggs, which will result in a fluffier, creamier texture. You’re also making sure that your eggs are really homogenous – fully blended, and you won’t have streaks of coagulated egg white in the finished product.

Heat your pan over medium low heat. If the pan is nonstick, you really don’t need to add butter or oil or cooking spray – the pan does the work for you. If you don’t have a nonstick pan, then you’ll HAVE to add a bit of oil. Not a bad thing – butter and olive oil are both great conveyers of flavor. And you can use either – whatever your preference. At my house it’s usually butter.

Pour the whisked eggs into the hot skillet, turn the heat down to low and stir with a wooden spoon or rubber spatula. And stir. Stir some more. Sprinkle with a pinch of salt (kosher salt really DOES taste better) and black pepper. To get the creamiest texture and smallest curds, keep the eggs in motion constantly. The eggs will begin to set immediately. Just keep stirring until you’ve gotten just a touch under the doneness you like. The eggs will continue cooking for a minute after you’ve removed them from the heat. I’ll admit, learning the exact look takes a bit of practice, but that’s what we’re here for.

If your eggs ‘weep’ (what my Granny called it) or seep liquid, it’s a sign of overcooking. Honestly? We don’t care much at my house, but I’m more careful with guests.

That’s it! You’ve completed your first dish! Next we’ll talk about some variations on scrambled eggs.

“Eggs are very much like small boys. If you overheat them, or overbeat them, they will turn on you, and no amount of future love will right the wrong.”anonymous

At my house I think summer has officially arrived as soon as we actually think that ice cream is necessary. Not that we want it, not a mere craving, not an ‘oh, ice cream would be nice’ kind of thing. But the first day when you just know that if you don’t get ice cream, you may possibly pass out of this world. We got there yesterday.

I’ve made a hundred different flavors of ice cream, and I have to say, the only bad ice cream is the one I don’t get. But hands down, this is everyone’s favorite. Not only is it fabulous all by itself, it works so well with everything you want to throw at it. Apple pie? Yes. Caramel syrup? No problem. Chocolate Fudge Brownies? Whooooaaaa – Nelly! This stuff plays well with others big time.

Chocolate Fudge Brownies with Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream

And it’s easy. Homemade vanilla ice cream is just about as simple as it gets. 6 ingredients and you’re there. It ends up being far less expensive than really good store bought ice cream, and yet the experience (not taste, not flavor, but the experience) of this ice cream is unparalleled. A couple of hints and it’ll always be perfect. Make sure you use the best vanilla – cheap stuff just doesn’t cut it, especially since it’s the primary flavor here. If you can’t find vanilla paste or ground vanilla, don’t worry about it. And if you want the silkiest ice cream possible, then simply strain the milk/cream mixture before you chill it to remove any little bits that might have formed from the yolks.

In a large saucepan with a heavy bottom over medium heat, whisk together sugar, cornstarch and salt. Slowly whisk in milk and cream. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until the mixture thickens slightly. The most you want is the barest simmer so as not to scorch the milk. Remove from heat.

In a medium mixing cup or small bowl, whisk the egg yolk to loosen. Slowly add about ½ cup of the hot cream mixture into the yolk to temper. Add the egg/milk mixture into the hot cream, whisking constantly. Stir in vanilla bean paste or ground vanilla (plain vanilla extract is always fine as well).

Cover and chill for at least 8 hours.

Pour into the container of your ice cream maker, and freeze according to the manufacturer’s directions.