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Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Something fumy about me (beyond the fact that I have the potty humor of a 5th grader even though I turned 49 last week) is that I can be cluelessly rude.

Here's the thing - I can honestly say that I am not rude on purpose. Unless of course someone has done something really egregious like hover over me while I am checking out at the grocery store. Then I can get into passive aggressive mode lickety split.

However, there have been times when I have been exceptionally rude and I didn't even know it. The day I started my first ever real job out of college, I went to catch the commuter bus from Columbia, Maryland to downtown Washington, D.C. This was not only my first day on the job, but my first day riding the big people, adult bus. Can you see me?

I drove to where I'd pick up the bus and just as I got out of my car the bus pulled up and the doors opened. Sweet, right on time. I hopped on thinking this day was going swimmingly so far. I took my seat, rested my head on the back of the seat and took a deep breath. That's when I was approached by an older professional man, a fellow commuter. He began screaming at me in front of every single other person on the bus. "Who the hell do you think you are cutting to the front of the line?? Do you think we are all standing in line for our health? How dare you."

I was speechless. My eyes filled with tears. How could I have been so clueless? And why was this man such a dick? I was so focused on getting on that damn bus I never even saw the line. I spent the entire bus ride fighting back tears and showed up to my first day on the job rattled, blotchy and blood shot.

Writing this story, 25 years later, still takes me back to that day and just how awful it was. I felt stupid and humiliated. I made an effort from that day forward to be more aware of my surroundings. But, I still fuck up.

All of that to say, I like to believe that we should give people the benefit of the doubt when we perceive them as rude. Sometimes people just.don't.know.

Are you one of these people? Further, are you one of those people when you run? Here are 7 ways you might be a rude runner and not even realize it. The good news is you can change! You can be better! So can I!

1. You spit or snot rocket without looking. I know how it is. Mucous builds up and you need to eject it from your body. Without stopping, you spit a loogie or execute the perfect snot rocket. Unbeknownst to you, there is someone running beside you and you've hit them with your bodily fluid. Not cool. The lesson? Look before you spew.

2. Your shoe becomes untied or you simply need to stop for a walk break. You do so in the middle of pretty crowded race. Your fellow runners have to stumble and swerve to avoid you. The lesson? Move to the side of the road or path.

3. You are a close farter. Last year I did my first super high altitude race in Leadville, Colorado. What I didn't know at the time was that running at high altitude causes people to expel gas. It's a real thing called alti-tooting or something like that. As we made our way up to 13,000 feet, we were all brought to a slow jog/walk in a single file line.The dude in front of me was letting his farts fly into my personal space without so much as a care in the world. Really? The lesson? Be sure to create ample space between your ass and your fellow runner.

4. You don't wave. This issue has come up a million times in a million different running articles and blogs. Why don't your fellow runners wave at you when you wave at them? Perhaps the non waver is in the zone, is blind, hates you or follows a religion that doesn't believe in waving. The lesson? Be aware of your surroundings. If someone takes the time to wave at you, return the favor.

5. You don't stay where you belong. Corrals/waves at races are there for a reason. It keeps the flow of the race going. While you may be tempted to move ahead and get up with those faster than you, it's going to be frowned upon. The lesson? Know your pace and stay in your place.

6.You carry loose change or other obnoxious things. There is nothing worse for your fellow runners than when you carry noisy things in your pockets. The lesson? Leave your quarters and maracas at home.

7. Your music is obnoxiously loud. Just because you have ear buds in doesn't mean others can't hear your music. Or, if you carry your phone and play it through speaker, we can hear that too. The lesson? Keep your music quiet enough so only you can hear it, or forgo it completely.

The bottom line is, most of us probably don't intend to be rude. But, with a healthy dose of awareness and sensitivity we can rise above.

44 comments:

We have a great paved trail in our town that is used a lot by cyclists, runners, and walkers. I run and cycle, and it drives me absolutely nuts when people don't use the trail the way they would drive down a road. There is even a dashed line down the middle, just like a road! They go on the wrong side, or take up the entire trail if there are several people running/walking/riding together. Then when I politely say "On your left" some people either ignore me or move over about 2 inches. NOT cool. Do these same people drive their cars the way they travel on this trail? (By the way, there are signs posted all over that say "Stay to the right, pass on the left.")

Me too!!! But I think the worst was getting backsplash from vomit. A dude in front of me that I was chasing to the finish line puked about 600 yards from the finish right in front of me! He didn't even bother to go to the side......guess he thought he could hold it to the finish??Ugh ick ugh!

My pet peeve is when three, four, or for god's sake, ten buddies run a race together AND EXPECT TO RUN RIGHT BESIDE EACH OTHER FOR THE WHOLE RACE. It is extremely hard to get around them, especially on a narrow course. Rude.

Oh good lord YES! My first marathon, I couldn't seem to get away from a woman who would run and then suddenly stop to do her walking portion. I kept trying to weave away from her. Didn't she realize that she should be to one side then right in the middle and just stopping? I sprinted to get away from her.

This one is pretty specific, but when you're approaching a finish line, show a little extra awareness. If you're just racing for shits and giggles (or planning some elaborate finish line show, like stopping to jump or hold your friend's hand in the air) and you've got someone who's really hoofing it and clearly trying to shave off seconds, don't make life hard on them (especially if you're in a group of multiple people and are trying to cross together!). On the other hand, if you're trying to beat a time and you find yourself surrounded by groups or people who are clearly NOT, plan a few seconds ahead so that you're not elbowing them in their smiling faces as you push past them to cross the finish line. I've been on both sides of this, and I think a tiny bit of thought and consideration can go a VERY long way.

I totally agree! However, I think there should be one exception to the music rule. Loud music is permitted, if you sing along even more loudly. I find this endlessly entertaining! Especially when the singer is wearing ear buds and can’t hear how off key they are... just wonderful!

Sheepishly puts up his hand. Guilty of #6 in the first degree. During IMC I did the marathon with some Nuun tablets jingling in the container, in the pocket of my jersey. Oops. At least the people downwind of me during that one stretch had lots of other fresh air off the lake.

A few months ago, a parent of a child I was seeing in the clinic called me rude. She posted about me on facebook. Even tho I'm now famous, I wasn't even aware that I was being rude. Trust me, I know when I'm rude. Her comment really upset me. Her kid had a cold and she wanted antibiotics. What I should have done is taught the kid how to blow snot rockets. Then complain about me all you want...

I was doing a long run behind this guy running and I passed him. He then sprinted around me and then slowed way down so I had to pass him again. This repeated itself several times until I just decided to take off running. Drive me nuts. I still have no idea if he was running intervals and wasn't paying attention or if he was just trying to run faster than me.

That's a pretty funny story about the bus. I could so see myself doing the same thing!! I think the thing that makes me annoying/rude (?) to the local race directors is that I always seem to order the wrong size race shirt and I pester them until I get the right size. Hey, don't they want me to showcase their race? :)

Please wear deodorant (but not cologne) - at least attempt to cover up the fact that you get sweaty and smelly in a race. I ran one 15k near a person that smelled so bad (we were at the same pace for a few miles) and I could smell them from ACROSS the road as I was trying to get away from them. Thankfully, either I sped up or they slowed down. blech.

#8. You stop at the drinking station for a cup of water, gatorade, or something else, during a race. People who do this clearly hate other runners. Slow down, don't stop, to pick up a beverage in the middle of the race. If you need to stop, find a spot off to the side of the road/trail, beyond the station and stop there.

This is such a great post! I try diligently to be aware of my surroundings but it's hard to be spot on 100% of the time, especially at the end of a long run when I'm running on fumes.

A few others mentioned this too - people who run in the middle of a narrow trail/sidewalk, run on the left side of a trail/sidewalk or run side by side with multiple friends so you take up the entire trail/sidewalk. It amazes me how many times on my run last Sunday I had to run on the grass because others were too oblivious to the fact that they were taking up the whole thing and not leaving room for others.

#7 is the worst. I don't know how many times I am on a trail hiking or running and people (mostly the youths) blare their terrible music from their phones. Can't you enjoy the sound of nature??? I want to push them off a mountain. ( I may have some anger built up over how many times I experience this).

Heavy perfumes, strongly-scented body products, and that horrible febreeze-tainted fabric softener that everyone uses. All of those are well-known asthma triggers, and it's pretty wretched to have to go to the side of the road gasping and use your inhaler during a race when you get stuck behind someone who seems to have marinated in whatever scent they're wearing. You're (hopefully) not on your way to a hot date or the prom right after, so please lay off the scents until after the race!

To #5, I'd add that it's just as rude if you put yourself in a slower corral than you belong in! There's a lot of people around here who put themselves in the 11 minute/mile pack seemingly just so they can pass you with their jogging stroller. We get it. You're fast.

Seriously the Music thing drives me nuts. Why why why do people think it's okay to just play their music on speaker. It makes me almost want to snot rocket on them in return. Just kidding but it does bug me.

I was hurt and heart broken by my husband,but i am so happy to have my husband back in my life again.!My name Wendy Baron, i live in Manchester, UK. A very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband . so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited. TEMPLEOFLOVEANDPROSPERITY@GMAIL.COM. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Dr Frank Ojo, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com ,or visit his Web site to know more about him: http://africatemple.yolasite.com .

My life became devastated when my husband sent me packing, after 8 years that we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to make my husband take me back. One day at work, i was absent minded not knowing that my boss was calling me, so he sat and asked me what its was all about i told him and he smiled and said that it was not a problem. I never understand what he meant by it wasn't a problem getting my husband back, he said he used a spell to get his wife back when she left him for another man and now they are together till date and at first i was shocked hearing such thing from my boss. He gave me an email address of the great spell caster who helped him get his wife back, i never believed this would work but i had no choice that to get in contact with the spell caster which i did, and he requested for my information and that of my husband to enable him cast the spell and i sent him the details, but after two days, my mom called me that my husband came pleading that he wants me back, i never believed it because it was just like a dream and i had to rush down to my mothers place and to my greatest surprise, my husband was kneeling before me pleading for forgiveness that he wants me and the kid back home, then i gave Happy a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world, that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doing pleasant things he hasn't done before, he makes me happy and do what he is suppose to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind, kindly contact Happy for help and you can reach him via email: happylovespell2@gmail.com

God what a Gift from Dr happy, my name is Vicky Robinson . since 2 months I have witness what is called heart broken. my boyfriend that promised me marriage failed me and impregnate me and leave,he dump me,he stop calling" he stop picking my calls,and he no longer respond to me. I have be looking for solution,I fall into the hands of fake spell caster,they rough me off and took my money without help.I have cried,I have weep"and tears runs out of eyes. The silentness in my heart brought me to the deepest path of failure that I lost my job. Crying all day,because of my life was lonely. So thanks to happy that came into my life and brought me the greatest joy that was lost. I saw his mail while browsing and I contact and tell him what I am passing through with no doubt because what saw about him,was enough to believe. And I was given words of solution on what to do. I can't really help thinking about it I have tried to see what I can do, I manage to provide him some materials and he help me with the rest,after casting the spell, 2days after he came with rose on his hand and I was even about going out,i saw him in front of my door when he sees me he knee and said he is dying I should forgive him and accept him back he was crying,I can't wait to let him finish I quickly crab him and kiss him, just then" he said he is restless without me, just as the Dr has said he will be. He brought out a ring and put it on my hand. Our wedding day was scheduled,2week after we got married. today makes it 1 month and we are living happily I don't know how to praise him enough, he has done me a thing I can never forget. And I can't really share to myself alone, I want y'all to help me praise him because if it is wasn't for him I already plan of committing suicide. But right now I am now so happy more than I was before. And you out there crying for help you've already got one, Dr happy is the man that you need in all rampart. contact his address if you need his service, happylovespell2@gmail.com

God what a Gift from Dr happy, my name is Vicky Robinson . since 2 months I have witness what is called heart broken. my boyfriend that promised me marriage failed me and impregnate me and leave,he dump me,he stop calling" he stop picking my calls,and he no longer respond to me. I have be looking for solution,I fall into the hands of fake spell caster,they rough me off and took my money without help.I have cried,I have weep"and tears runs out of eyes. The silentness in my heart brought me to the deepest path of failure that I lost my job. Crying all day,because of my life was lonely. So thanks to happy that came into my life and brought me the greatest joy that was lost. I saw his mail while browsing and I contact and tell him what I am passing through with no doubt because what saw about him,was enough to believe. And I was given words of solution on what to do. I can't really help thinking about it I have tried to see what I can do, I manage to provide him some materials and he help me with the rest,after casting the spell, 2days after he came with rose on his hand and I was even about going out,i saw him in front of my door when he sees me he knee and said he is dying I should forgive him and accept him back he was crying,I can't wait to let him finish I quickly crab him and kiss him, just then" he said he is restless without me, just as the Dr has said he will be. He brought out a ring and put it on my hand. Our wedding day was scheduled,2week after we got married. today makes it 1 month and we are living happily I don't know how to praise him enough, he has done me a thing I can never forget. And I can't really share to myself alone, I want y'all to help me praise him because if it is wasn't for him I already plan of committing suicide. But right now I am now so happy more than I was before. And you out there crying for help you've already got one, Dr happy is the man that you need in all rampart. contact his address if you need his service, happylovespell2@gmail.com

Bottles dropped in the road at drink stations. Saw someone trip on a bottle dropped in front of him. The runner who did it saw him fall and did not even stop to help. At the end of the race the guy was in the medical tent with a badly damaged ankle. I know runners need to be aware of things, but this guy had no chance to avoid it,

My life became devastated when my husband sent me packing, after 8 years that we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to make my husband take me back. One day at work, i was absent minded not knowing that my boss was calling me, so he sat and asked me what its was all about i told him and he smiled and said that it was not a problem. I never understand what he meant by it wasn't a problem getting my husband back, he said he used a spell to get his wife back when she left him for another man and now they are together till date and at first i was shocked hearing such thing from my boss. He gave me an email address of the great spell caster who helped him get his wife back, i never believed this would work but i had no choice that to get in contact with the spell caster which i did, and he requested for my information and that of my husband to enable him cast the spell and i sent him the details, but after two days, my mom called me that my husband came pleading that he wants me back, i never believed it because it was just like a dream and i had to rush down to my mothers place and to my greatest surprise, my husband was kneeling before me pleading for forgiveness that he wants me and the kid back home, then i gave Happy a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world, that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doing pleasant things he hasn't done before, he makes me happy and do what he is suppose to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind, kindly contact Happy for help and you can reach him via email: happylovespell2@gmail.com

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I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband . so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the spell caster whom he visited. Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Dr Frank Ojo, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com ,or visit his Web site to know more about him: http://africatemple.yolasite.com ,and i lives in United Kingdom. Thank you sooooo much!!!

My husband and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he did a spell for me. Three days later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Unity . If you need a spell caster that can cast a spell that truly works, I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you. This is his E-mail: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com .

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