Top Gear team can hardly contain excitement as all airport runways closed

As travel plans were thrown into disarray by airport closures, the Top Gear team could barely contain their glee as they prepared to take advantage of the available runway space.

Jeremy Clarkson will be driving a new Ferrari 599 GTO backwards with his knees at over 200mph on Heathrow’s runway 4, while Richard ‘Hamster’ Hammond will attempt to jump through 20 old caravans in a Vauxhall Zafira on the tarmac at Gatwick.

Over at Stansted airport, James May and his mate Oz Clarke will be taking a protracted wine tour of the terminal hostelries in a mobility cart for a new series ‘Oz and James Duty-Free Adventure’.

The Stig was unavailable for comment, although some say that the volcanic eruption responsible for the closures was the direct result of last night’s king prawn jalfrezi.