Summer vacation was over and Little Johnny returned back to school. Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved!; couldn’t you show me the same courtesy?”

A high school had a policy that the parents must call the school if a student was to be absent for the day.

Kelly (name changed to protect the guilty), deciding to skip school and go to the mall with her friends waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself.

This is the actual conversation of the telephone call...

Kelly: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Kelly so-and-so is unable to make it to school today because she is ill.

Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling?"

Kelly: "This is my mother."

Needless to say, she didn't pull it off!

A well-intentioned teacher was giving a lesson on blood circulation. Trying to make the matter clear, she explains, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.” “Yes,” responds the class. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” The answer then comes from the back of the class, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”