I’m looking at my new electric bicycle as we speak. It’s standing in my bedroom all decked out with its tan leather seat and hand grips. It’s so shiny and perfectly white and clean.

It’s not the first time I had a 2 wheeled vehicle in my bedroom. The first time I did this, it didn’t exactly pan out. I had to put my scooter out to pasture. But second time’s a charm, right?

I can’t stop ogling it.

I had it delivered to work so I can save $100 on shipping and then I rode it home shortly after unpacking it. The ride home was easier than I thought considering the current state of my fat ass. but then again, it was only a mile.

Soon, I’ll have to try doing that with 430 miles. My crotch will be humming a different tune I suspect. Humming bloody murder.

Okay so, I have almost everything I need for my bicycle trip to Bar Harbor. The stuff that I don’t have just yet is in the mail. One major thing I need is a new shorter seat post which I ordered yesterday. The post that came with the bike is built for a giant, something I wish I knew before I bought the $55 upgrade for a suspension seat but other than that, I’m in love with this bike. It’s truly beautiful. A work of art.

I wanted to take it out for a spin today but I’d most likely kill myself since the seat is up so high.

I’m always waiting for something….

I’ve been burning the candle from both ends these last few weeks. I drank so many Bud Lights that I can no longer drink Bud Lights. Ever again.

Either I drank too many Bud Lights or I’m going through my “change” because I completely switched to IPA’s and I HATE IPA’s. And it happened overnight! 17 years of drinking Bud Lights only to switch to a beer I loathed during my whole drinking career. Why do I not loath them anymore? Why?

Two Roads Little Heaven is my new beer of choice. As bitter as a grapefruit peel that one.

I can’t stop looking at my bike. It’s just so lovely, so perfect (aside from the tall seat). I want to stick a playing card in its spoke.

Here is a map of my journey to Bar Harbor:

All the campgrounds, motels, and bike shops are readily displayed so I can’t miss them. Courtesy of the Bicycle Route Network app partnering with Google Maps. I wouldn’t be going on this journey if not for this app. I am a sublime idiot when it comes to following directions.

This trip is unlike any other that I went on. You see, most of my trips involve a plane. I buy a plane ticket that comes with a set date to travel on but with a journey such as this – a journey that doesn’t involve buying a ticket to far away lands….setting a date to “take off” is a greasy creature to capture.

Me – “I’ll do it tomorrow. Yes, I’ll be ready tomorrow.”

Then tomorrow comes and I be like, “I’ll do it Tuesday. Yes. I’ll be ready by Tuesday.”

It doesn’t help that my Mother is against this trip.

I have to take this trip sometime this month. My office manager is quitting by the end of the month (it’s a long story. I won’t get into it until after she’s gone), so I need to take this trip while she’s still here to help. Not to mention I don’t want to go when the weather starts cooling off (I don’t have a sleeping bag and I’m only bringing a silk liner).

And, if I don’t go now, I’ll never go. I might have to miss Kristi’s bachelorette party but I’ll be able to make it to her wedding and my family reunion if I leave as soon as I get my short seat post in the mail. Which means I’m leaving soon. Really soon. Completely unprepared physically, emotionally, and mechanically if something breaks down, I’ll not know how to fix it.

Most of the people I told about this trip all think that it’s some fantastic feat – a beauteous harrowing journey of divine coolness only partaken by people with guts. But it’s not! It’s the complete opposite! I’m only going on this trip to get away for a bit, enjoy the country and camp out but mostly I’m going because I’ll regret it if I don’t. I’m more scared of NOT going on this journey. I’d rather make a shit ton of mistakes than do nothing.

Everyone’s making a big deal about this trip but to me, it’s not a big deal. I’m excited and scared as hell, but in the grand scope of things, it’s no big deal at all. And it’s only for a couple weeks. No big deal.

However, next year for my cross-country venture, that’s a different bag of worms.

Last night as I was falling to sleep, a song kept repeating in my head. It was a song that’s been around for a while. Really catchy. But then I realized the song was completely made up in my head while I was drifting off. Two words I remember from that song. They kept repeating over and over. And those two words were Star and Tonic. Star Tonic.

I just Googled Star Tonic and found out that it’s a type of marijuana strain. I swear, I never heard of it before in my life.