Emily Gould

Ahh, the wisdom of crowds: so far, the vast majority of you have responded to the question we posed in our Blind Item Guessing Game by asserting that American Idol winner loser (and child-hater) Clay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Times A Million Gayken wouldn't even know which NBA team he'd prefer to be butt-serviced by, as he is a gay and thus doesn't know the names of the teams that play the sporty-ball games. And according to a helpful tipster, you're probably 100% right:

Witnessed a "Clay Mate" (aka post-menopausal fag hag from the 'burbs) who insisted that her seven-months-pregnant daughter stand for a couple of hours with her in a big crowd in the cold in front of Tiffany's for the Unicef snowflake lighting with Clay Aiken this event a few weeks back. Was shocked when I spied the "man" himself waiting in the wings: he had an only slightly modified Dorothy Hamill wedge cut, very weak chin, and eye makeup that may have looked natural onstage but made me a little queasy in natural light. The most charitable thing I can say is that he is a strange looking cat. Anyway, after some bromides about the good work that unicef does, Clay was introducing his partner in turning on the snowflake's lights. The buildup was big: one of the NBA's all-time greats...a great scorer and rebounder...etc. etc. Finally, the big moment came—the player was...Darryl Hawkins. The few hetero male brows in the audience furrowed as the hulking ex-NBA-er came out. Of course it was Darryl Dawkins, not Hawkins. I guess Clay was thinking of something else when they were prepping him for the introductory remarks....

Here's a handy tip, Clay: when in doubt about Darryl's last name, just go with "Chocolate Thunder
."