A Man's Ultimate Fantasy

Whips, chains, leather, lace, and whipped cream… Slapped, spanked, tied up, or used as a tempting delish petri dish. Name it, some man has most likely done or experienced it in the name of fulfilling a sexual fantasy bucket list.

Hence, women may naturally assume such fetishes are the ultimate fantasies of men. Think again. Having spent ample time with my share of bro-mances (guys whom I consider really good friends), upon observation and the magic of alcohol working as the so-called "truth serum", I discovered that the previous assumption just isn’t so.

Here it is: Men wish to go back in time to their younger days to successfully play the field of women but with the knowledge and wisdom they have as older men.

Here’s why it actually makes perfect sense:

1. If there’s one thing men are ultimately afraid of, it’s rejection. So looking back at their days as wimpy youngsters, they were unsure of how to pursue the girl of their puppy-love dreams.

A man in his 30s, on the other hand, now knows well enough the so-called rules of the game, as well as the tricks to seal the deal with their desired women (emphasis on plural). So had they known all this from the first grade, indeed, Lord save us all!

2. Men as compared to women are more about quantity, hence the cliché of the Little Black Book. Men were destined to be hunters/predators and therefore have an innate competitive nature.

Case in point: the concept of the Player was born, where a man could round up several women at the drop of a hat without breaking a sweat. But this skill is developed with age and experience.

3. Majority of women, as mentioned, are more about quality. They would most likely use this upper-hand knowledge, not to score with as many guys as they can, but to help them easily discern who truly is Mr. Right. Now, most men will say, where’s the fun in that? Exactly. That’s why it’s called "The Battle of the Sexes"![nextpage]

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4. It now makes logical sense why you’ll see a lot of older men who prefer to date younger women… younger, more clueless women. Not to say these women are stupid, but the men certainly have more than a one-up compared to them. Thus, these men know what these ladies want to hear, when to shut up, how to please them, and so on.

It’s mischievously clever, come to think of it: These men won’t have to deal with the real pounding issues of marriage, children, or “taking the relationship to the next level.” It would be considered a “light” relationship, if you will. It’s tragic, true, but this is life, as we know it.

Needless to say, women have also got manipulative antics up their sleeves, using sex as a weapon to get what they want. This is usually with much older men who supposedly don’t need much to get off due their depleted stamina. Naughty, naughty girls!

5. On the other hand, it also now makes sense why some women prefer much older men. Not to say it’s a guarantee, but more often than not, these men of an older bracket have what it takes to care for women, given their so-called experience.

However, ironically, age has taught us that age is never a guarantee of one’s maturity. This theory truly proves that knowledge is power, whether it is used to change the world or merely to change the rules of dating. However, given that it is a fantasy (and thank goodness for that), for it to be a reality just isn’t so. Both sexes need to reap what they sow in the name of sex, love, and finding ultimate happiness.

Besides, had we all known the rules of the game from the very start, then the so-called Game wouldn’t even exist, nor courtship, butterflies, “collecting then selecting,” heartbreak, and ultimately, growth as individuals who learn to respect other people’s feelings and dignity.