Partner doesn’t satisfy you in bed? Here's how to handle it

Several relationship counsellors say that often, women are not happy with the sex in their relationships. The worst part is that they are not able to tell their partners that they are unhappy. Even if there is a strain on the relationship, communication is still a thought swept under the carpet. The key lies in letting your partner know, whether it is subtly or openly. Here’s how you can start.

Ask him what makes him happy This question will lead to what he wants and expects in bed, and you should then steer it towards what you want and expect. If he understands your needs, you will see the result. If you are still not satisfied, you can hint at the fact that you are not entirely happy with the way things pan out in the bedroom, and move on to talking about the problem areas. You can suggest a different approach, perhaps a longer foreplay, as well. Let him know that each person has different likes and you both need to know each other’s.

Mix it up in the bedroom Take things in your hand, and try to introduce new activities in the bedroom. It could be role play, sex games, perhaps using toys and other devices. Drop him a flirty hint one morning that you would like him to dress up as a particular character that night. Offer a favour in return, and gently guide him to doing things that are more pleasurable for you.

Try to copy naughty videos

For this, you will need to pick a video that will work! Watch it together and copy it. When he reaches the part that you actually want him to learn, provide positive reinforcement telling him that you like what he is doing. He will most likely make a mental note of it and try it more often in bed. The key for you is to find the right video.

Direct him!You know your pleasure zones. Try different things for yourself, and when in bed, whisper to him what you would like him to do. Guide him to particular spots you would like him to work on, and if need be show him how to do it. You don’t have to make it sound like a tutorial, or even be preachy. Just guide well, lie back and enjoy!

Openly talk to himThis is a tricky one, and a point that most women shy away from. You will, however, need to address it at some point, since it is a better option than being sexually frustrated. Talk gently, not accusingly, but in a manner that he empathises and understands. You have to be secure about your feelings for him, so you can lead the conversation in a way that he is secure too, and doesn’t immediately get defensive.