Hadn't heard of any of the hotels in TFA. I'll stick with frugal anonymity, even if it's perhaps tinged with willful ignorance.

And the hospitality guy approved of the picture of his family? Seems like that would've gone down awkwardly: Picture it, he sees the picture, thinks his wife was thinking of him, and he calls her up. "Hey honey, thanks for arranging the picture of the family in my hotel room." She's like, Wha? And, in a horror story twist, THE PICTURE CAME FROM INSIDE THE HOTEL!

Of course you should game the system. Walk in muttering to your cell phone that you can't believe you invested in this crappy hotel chain and the best thing to do if things don't improve is to sell the thing to the Chinese.

A rep for a prestigious Beverly Hills hotel recalls welcoming a first-time guest to the property. "We knew very little about her before she checked in, so we searched for her online and discovered she had a dog named Bo," the rep says. "When she arrived, there was a little doggy gift waiting in her room, with a notecard that said Bo misses you." Creepy? Cute? You be the judge.

Grab that shiat, run down to the lobby desk with it and throw a breakdown in front of everybody, sobbing and shaking uncontrollably and wailing, "I had to... had to p-put my poor little B-B-Bo to... to sleep just yesterday-hay-hay oh god he's GONE GONE FOREVER I LOVED HIM SO M-M-MUCH AND NOW HE'S G-G-GONE WHAT IS THIS WHY DID YOU D-D-DO THIS WHY WHYYY" until they give you a free week in the farking Royal Sultan Penthouse Suite or something.

This could just end so entertainingly the next time a businessman happens to travel with his wife and unwittingly finds a nice basket waiting for him stuffed with thoughtful gifts like "Clergymen Gone Wild Volume VII" and cherry-lime-flavored lube...

kendejo42:Oak Tree Inn...North Platte Nebraska...............motion detectors in the room raise the A/C temp if you are gone BUT,,,,also heard the desk clerk say into the phone "OH, He's not in his room right now"

Said that before, some guests tell you when they're leaving or you get to know their work habits if they're extended stays. Don't worry about that.

This article is ridiculous. As a hotel GM I can safely say we don't have time, money, or desire to look this crap up. If you're a regular we get to know you, we are not in the business of stalking.

Sucks bad enough that every idiot still thinks we have their entire life story on the key cards thanks to that stupid news report decades ago. Vegas might put more info on them for room charges at shops and shiat but the tiny ass days inn in no where idaho doesn't give a crap.

Had people refuse to give their cards back because "Someone could get the credit card info and my personal data off it". No they can't, half the time the two systems aren't connected, and that's stupid.

Prey4reign:psychicdeath99: When Wilford Brimley strangles a hooker, there's never even a trace of a clue left behind, because Wilford Brimley by-God gets things done.

Wrong. He leaves a trail of half-eaten, soggy oatmeal to the door.

I'm telling ya, the diabeetus schtick is just an act with Brimley. When you wake the guy in a hotel room, there are literally needles everywhere, and though he tries to claim he had some blood sugar issues after eating the crappy room service, he'll punch you in your head if you even think to ask him about the bent spoons and rubber bands.