Saturday, November 7, 2009

Check it out. My kiddo, my iPod, and Astrologyzone.com are all predicting that I get knocked up this cycle.

First I should explain about infertility songs. Do you have any? The first time I was trying to get pregnant, my infertility (aka my make me cry, or even make me shake my fist in anger) songs were a little different than this time around. The songs that got to me were ones like Stevie Wonder's "For once in my life" (all about finally finding someone who loves and needs you ... just spoke to me in a baby sort of way) and Dave Matthew's Band "The best of what's around" (you're not gonna get the best of me, infertility!). That kind of thing. This time around, it's a little different, and not so prominent, but there are definitely a few songs that "speak" to me about my struggles. One in particular. More on that in a second.

Does your iPod ever get into a ... well ... a mood? For example, about two weeks ago, my iPod - on the shuffle setting - could not get enough Beatles. Early (innocent and sweet) Beatles, Helter Skelter Beatles, covers, and even pulling from a lullaby CD that's all Beatles renditions. I mean, I had the thing on shuffle for about 40 minutes, and I heard at least 6 Beatles songs. What's up with that? Sometimes the iPod is all about Motown, sometimes it's modern rock, sometimes Beatles. But then other times I get a true shuffle.

So earlier this week, I was out running errands with my kiddo, and my iPod was all about telling me I was going to get pregnant. First as I put it on, I got the Infertility Song of 2009. "No Other Way" by Jack Johnson. I suppose he meant it as a song about a troubled relationship and insomnia (yeah, I'm oversimplifying here). It's so beautiful. Rather than link or try to explain, here are the lyrics:

When your mind is a messSo is mineI cant sleepCause it hurts when I thinkMy thoughts aren't at peaceWith the plans that we makeChances we takeThey're, not yours and not mineThere's waves that can breakAll the words that we sayAnd the words that we meanWords can fall shortCan't see the unseenCause the world is awakeFor somebody's sake now, please close your eyes womanPlease get some sleep

And know that if I knewAll of the answers I wouldNot hold them from you'dKnow all the things that i'd knowWe told each other, there is no other way

Well too much silence can be misleadingYou're drifting I can hear it in the way that your breathingWe don't really need to find reasonCause out the same door that it came well its leaving its leavingLeaving like a day that's done and part of a seasonResolve is just a concept that's as dead as the leavesBut at least we can sleep, its all that we needWhen we wake we will findOur minds will be free to go to sleep

And know that if I knewAll of the answers I wouldNot hold them from you'dKnow all the things that i'd knowWe told each other, there is no other way

Beautiful, right? Anyway, after that song - which captured my attention and turned my already IF-riddled mind sharply to the cycle at hand, G. Love's "Christmas Baby" comes on. Very simple, cute lyrics, "Won't you be my Christmas baby?!" Hhmm. You know I went right to "aah, I'd probably see the heartbeat right around Christmas time, wouldn't that rock?" Then P!nk's "Nobody Knows," which, frankly, is kind of a sappy, angst-filled thing about people not getting the pain and heartache you're feeling. Then, get this. Bon Jovi's "Everybody's Broken." Hah! Yes, iPod, I do realize I'm not the only one, thankyouverymuch. Next up, "I want to hold your hand" by the Beatles. Okeeee. Then we went to the park, and when we got back in the car, the iPod spell was broken.

So then that very same day, no lie, I was putting my kid to bed for his nap, rubbing his back, and he says to me, "Mommy, how is that baby going to come out?" I thought maybe he saw a pregnant woman at daycare or something, so I said, "what baby?" He points to my stomach, and says, "that baby." I frown a bit, "what are you talking about kiddo?" He says, "mommy, that baby [pointing], how is that baby going to come out?" I told him there's no baby, and asked him if he knew someone with a baby in their belly, and he switched the topic to Elmo or something.

Freaked me out a bit.

I also have a monthly forecast that I read, Astrology Zone. I find this site to be really good, and somehow a good number of big events in my life have been predicted in these forecasts. Specific stuff, which I won't get into now. Anyway, this is part of November's forecast for Scorpio:

When you get to the new moon in Scorpio, November 16, your life will take on a new glow.

...

Do you hope to welcome a baby? Start trying or begin the process of adoption after that new moon appears.

About Me

I'm a mid- (ahem, late-) 30's woman, living in the Northeast, married for almost 6 years and trying to have another baby. We got pregnant with our son on our 22nd month of trying, and with lots of medical assistance. Now we're back into fertility treatments to hopefully add one more little one to our family.
Read on for my thoughts on secondary infertility, parenting a toddler, books, movies, pizza and whatever else springs to mind.