Wednesday, November 28, 2018

There’s no doubt that our plastic fantastic planned community is growing, and this week the county estimated that Reston’s population could — and given the attitude of our elected officials, almost undoubtedly will — nearly double in the coming years, reaching 103,989 by 2045. (Resident 103,990 must still be looking for change to get on the Toll Road, which will cost $245 each way by then.)

That’s right, we’re movin’ on up, baby, into the rarefied air of the 285 U.S. cities with populations greater than 100,000. All we can say is Erie, Pennsylvania, whose population is somewhere in the 101,000 range, can suck it! So can Odessa, Texas, and Daly City, California. Reston soon will be bigger, badder, and beiger than all those so-called “cities.”

Let’s look at the rarefied air we’ll soon be sharing with the other cities which are closest in size to the future Reston of developers’ dreams. It’s an elite group, to be sure, so pack your bags and let’s go!

Wichita Falls, Texas (population 103,931)
What it’s like: The city’s “web site” calls Wichita Falls the “Gateway to Texas,” or more specifically “the north east corner of the Panhandle/Plains area of North Texas.” But if you’re not ready to move yet, brace yourself for this convincing selling point:

“By most accounts Wichita Falls can be summed up with two words, pleasant and comfortable.”

Sold!

Is there golf? Yep, plus a public disc golf course and an RV park, though we’ll just overlook that one very non-Reston bit of public infrastructure.
Fun fact: The city’s “Multipurpose Event Center” includes an “agriculture building.” It’s not clear if its roof leaks.

Antioch, California (population 104,044)

What it’s like: Just look at that picture. Might as well be Loudoun County. Though we’re pretty sure that green space is potentially developable land a golf course.

Is there golf? We won’t dignify that question with a response.

Fun fact: The Los Angeles Times ran a story titled "Sex offenders move to Antioch area 'because they can'," according to Wikipedia, which also has a lengthy entry devoted to an “owl controversy.”

Burbank, California (population 104,295)

What it’s like: Burbank is blled as the “media capital of the world.” Do they have a filthy Burbankian "web log" though?

Is there golf? Yes, the De Bell municipal golf course. Plus “the revitalized downtown Burbank provides an urban mix of shopping, dining, and entertainment,” and the city also offers “a modern urban village, with apartments above the mall.” It doesn't get more urban than that, folks!

Fun fact: The city was "named after David Burbank, a New Hampshire born dentist and entrepreneur who established a sheep ranch there in 1867." Our origin story is better.

Centennial, Colorado (population 102,603)

What it’s like: A picture’s worth a thousand words. This is exurban nirvana, right down to the cookie-cutter design language our soon-to-be similarly sized city enjoys. “Recognized as one of the best places to live in the U.S. by Money Magazine and USA Today, Centennial is a community that strives for excellence and innovation.”

Is there golf? Two golf courses. Sound familiar?

Fun fact: “The City was established in 2001 by dedicated citizens with the desire to enhance economic opportunities and have a say in their future.”