The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary: E-words

Do you wonder where your co-workers picked up all the ridiculous things they say? From fresh-faced interns to top management, everyone drops one of these gems occasionally. We can only hope that you're not here to actually add buzzwords to your vocabulary.

Ear candy [n.]

Flattery.

Eat a reality sandwich [exp.]

Necessary when someone's ideas are completely inappropriate for the given situation. "I can't believe you said that to the committee. You better eat a reality sandwich before you walk back in that boardroom."

Eat drink sleep [v.]

Complete and total dedication to a role. "…but my real passion is market segmentation. I eat drink and sleep analytics."

Eat the elephant one bite at a time [exp.]

A reminder that even the largest problems can be solved by breaking them down into manageable bits. "Elephant in the room? One bite at a time, love."Suggested by Kelly G.

Eat the frog [v.]

To complete an unpleasant job that has been well procrastinated. "Just eat the frog and get on with it!"Suggested by Emma-Dawn L.

Econometrics [n.]

Marketed by consultants as a super scientific financial modeling exercise. Reality: Plugging three numbers into a pre-made spreadsheet.

Economical with the truth [adj.]

An aggravating euphemism for lying. "My esteemed colleague may not in fact realize he is being economical with the truth!!"

Ego surfing [v.]

Searching the web for references to oneself.

Eighty-six [v.]

To dispose of. "We have to eighty-six these documents or we'll all be crucified."

Elephants [n.]

Large investment groups that tend to move together.

Eleventh hour [exp.]

The last moment.

Empty suits [n.]

Unthinking middle management.

Enail [n.]

An email sent for the sole purpose of making a point in writing, usually at another person's expense. Most effective when cc'ed to as many senior people as possible.Suggested by Ian C.

Enculturate [v.]

To make something part of daily office life.Suggested by Mike B.

Enthuse [v.]

To inspire enthusiasm (or attempt to). "I'm still looking for a way to enthuse the new hires."Suggested by Andy P.

Entremanure [n.]

A self-employed risk taker that can't catch a break. Everything he touches turns to shit.Suggested by Erin S.

EPON [n.]

Endless Pit Of Need. A colleague who continually seeks support for their ongoing personal and professional problems.Suggested by M. Schroeder.

Evangelize [v.]

To promote a product with the enthusiasm of a true believer. "We need distributors to evangelize the new line to local markets."Suggested by Nicky T.

Even dead cats bounce [exp.]

Even worthless things can rise in value again.

Exploding offer [n.]

A job offer that expires after a certain date.

Extract the max [v.]

To achieve the highest level of productivity possible while directing a group of people. "I hope my management style will extract the max from each and every one of you."

Extrapediately [adv.]

Faster than ASAP and quicker than STAT, this made-up word is saved for when a task must be completed almost instantly.Suggested by CM & JC.

Extraview [n.]

A second interview you feel obliged to hold even though the position has already been filled. Can also be scheduled when the candidate is just so damn hot.