But I just found out again. I am moving out with my daughter. I am dizzy, can't eat, and can't get out fast enough.

He never lifted a finger since Dday one so not sure why I am so shocked. I sob every time I try to pack

Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...

Posts: 152 | Registered: Jun 2010

Skan♀ 35812Member # 35812

Posted: 10:18 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013

(((hugs))) I'm so very sorry. Please, please, take care of yourself. You have a child to take care of. If you don't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of her.

We're here for you. Just keep on breathing. (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 6086 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California

Crushed1♀ 6449Member # 6449

Posted: 10:45 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013

So sorry to hear this (((WaWaNJ))). Take care of yourself and your dd.

~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 10020 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas

WaWaNJ♀ 28820Member # 28820

Posted: 10:57 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013

Thanks. My reality is different. My stomach is sick. And I am mad bc he has a gf set up so he has happiness. I can't leave til the atty gets all the signatures and every minute feels like a century.

Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...

"It is impossible to get a man to understand something if his livelihood depends on him not understanding." - Upton Sinclair

Posts: 23912 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California

Hearthache again♀ 28564Member # 28564

Posted: 11:43 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013

People assume that the second time will hurt less because you have been through it before. It doesn't. I hurt just as much the second time around with my H. The only advantage you have this time is you know it does get a little better each passing day.

Stay strong and take care of yourself and child.

Me-BS(32)
Him-WS(35)
Married-12 years together 13
Kids 4: 15, 12, 8, and 3
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!

This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!

Posts: 871 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Michigan

Lalagirl♀ 14576Member # 14576

Posted: 8:00 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013

(((((WaWaNJ))))))

I'm so sorry, sweetie.

Please take care of yourself and post often. Let us help and support you.

I can only imagine your pain. But you're going to be okay. You do not need this mess in your life anymore and the pain will subside and you will find happiness again.

Your happiness will come, one day at a time. His? Sweetie, just b/c he has a gf set up now does NOT mean he has happiness. How much happiness can there be when you have 2 cheaters involved??

Soon he will just be an after-thought and you will be amazing!!!

Sending strength.

Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1395 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:

tushnurse♀ 21101Member # 21101

Posted: 10:09 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013

(((WaWa)))

You are moving forward, and making changes so that he can never hurt you again. Find peace in that.
Of course that does not mean you won't hurt, of course you will, but the pain is limited and there is an end in sight. No more worrying, you will get through this, you will be stronger than you ever imagined, and you will also find happiness in yourself.

If you can't eat or sleep please callyour Dr for some pharmaceutical help through this tough time. You need to focus on taking care of yourself and your kiddo.

Brave move, take care of yourself! I have wished I would have had the courage to make that decision so many times. I actually feel I cheated myself of years of happiness by staying. Be strong, you are not alone!

I don't think I'm being strong. I think I am caving in. I realize that I forgive too easy or sweep things under the rug too much. I want to disappear for awhile or freeze the world.

My problem is I don't think he is a bad man but I probably should. There are things that he have done that crush my soul but then he also has some good qualities.

Who knows if I can continue bring strong. I feel sad and lost still. I thought a couple weeks would make things more clear but it's not.

I have no decision made. I have no proof that anything would change. I must change and that's really scary cause I kinda really liked me.

Posts: 146 | Registered: Oct 2013

sad12008♀ 18179Member # 18179

Posted: 8:26 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013

(((WaWaNJ)))

Sending you strength; hope you can feel it. I'm really sorry.

You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

Posts: 4037 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together

AlexFL♂ 40966Member # 40966

Posted: 10:54 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013

On the phone all night. Back and forth. It's weird that we are both on opposite sides of what happened but we feel the same. He cheated and I was cheated on and we both feel sad, lost and insecure but then he adds remorse and I add anger. Makes for a VERY difficult conversation cause we aren't matching emotions at the same time.

This was pretty hard. I am having trouble finding a place to move. I can't get out fast enough. I start packing tonight.

I did call the dr for a nausea med.

I need to go read in the divorce and new beginning areas now - even though I think we should have still tried.

Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...

Posts: 152 | Registered: Jun 2010

WaWaNJ♀ 28820Member # 28820

Posted: 11:29 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013

Now I think maybe I should try to save the marriage and feel like I am losing my mind...

Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...

Posts: 152 | Registered: Jun 2010

WaWaNJ♀ 28820Member # 28820

Posted: 1:11 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013

Well, he doesn't know what he wants. He has three options. Her, me, single. I have to remove myself as a choice as much as it hurts. He asked for a day to think and I just can't put myself through that.

I think if he doesn't know that would mean he knows what he....

I don't know what I think but I don't feel wanted or love and I do feel like trash.

Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...

Posts: 152 | Registered: Jun 2010

still2suspicious♀ 31722Member # 31722

Posted: 3:12 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013

remove myself as a choice

oh sweetie, I am sending BIG ((((Hugs)))

Yes, YOU can remove yourself, if YOU choose.
Don't let him make a decision for you, and DD, about YOUR life.

I agree the fact that he isn't sure is pretty indictive of where this is headed.

YOU do not need to be looking over your shoulder the rest of your life. Or teach DD that she needs to stay with someone who has such disrespect for her. (easy for me to say, IK, wish I could live by my own words)

YOU ARE STRONG. YOU CAN DO THIS.

Sending strength.

Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1395 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:

Truly♀ 40715Member # 40715

Posted: 3:20 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013

Oh For Fuck's Sake, what's wrong with these people? (Rhetorical- I know they're broken, but really? Into that many pieces? It's sad here today with more DD's )

I am heartbroken for you WaWaNJ but you are doing the right thing and you will gain strength from every second you stay on your new path.

Sending you and yours huge ((((((hugs)))))

...and apologies for profanity...ish

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens