A different approach to making
change that tests incremental effects before anything permanent gets
settled.

Why it's
Important

Part
1

Experimentation is a method of testing something with the goal of discovery.

The something we test?YOU

The discovery goal?Positive
Energy

Why it's
Important

Part
2

We all like to try before we buy, right? The trial period
reduces the risk in making choices. The same holds true for making changes.

Experimental change builds in a trial period.

The
Problem

Pressure to commit can
make it difficult for a kid to update plans based on discovery.

No one can predict the future,
especially a kid whose experience is limited and whose mind and body is changing faster than you
can keep her in shoes.

The
Tip

ZAP! a small
irritation

Step
1:

Make an Observation

From your
child's regular morning routine, ask him to pick a small and frequent
irritation.

Examples
from our family:

Can't find clean socks.

Hard to make bed neatly

Step 2:

Ask Questions

“What is it that bothers you about it?

"What other problems does it create for you?"

"What are some of the "not you" factors that make this an
irritation?"

Not You Factor: Objective things that aren't directly
related to your child, such as having only one bathroom shared by siblings.

Step 3:

Design Experiment

You're
testing your child's indirect response to a direct change he'll make to his environment. Find
something small and indirect to test.

Indirect Response: Your child's energy
level and emotions.

Direct Change:
Things he'll do differently.

Experiment Examples: Bed Making

Make bed after school vs. morning

Pay brother to make bed

Move bed away from wall

Put blanket in a drawer

Step 4:

Evaluate Results

Include
information from everything; let your child's whole life contribute to the overall evaluation
of the results.

The
positive and the not-so-positive results.

Step 5:

Give it Meaning

Understanding your child's energy and emotions is finding the meaning of the
experiment.

I'll share with you the result from my son's experiment:

Moving the bed made it easier to make. I felt good because I knew it would make you
happier and I liked being able to walk back into my room after school and feel good all over
again.

Draw
conclusions or make a new observation and start the process all over again.

Benefits!

Best
Fit

By experimenting with change,
your child has a chance to learn about herself so that she bases decisions
on accurate and current information.

Inspired

As an experimenter, results aren't about personal
integrity or character. Results are connected to the experiment
not the experimenter.

Influence

Encouraging flexibility in your child's plans for change makes it
easier for him to ask you for guidance when results are confusing.

Promise
Kept

We promise to teach our kids
how to make good decisions. By framing the process of change as a series of
experiments to be learned from, you're teaching your kids how to understand themselves so that they
can do just that: Make good decisions. Well
Done!

Lorraine Esposito, Peacemaker Coach is a Scarsdale, New York coaching
practice working with clients from all over the world. (Texas, Florida, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey,
Virginia, Washington, DC., New Hampshire, North Carolina, Virginia, California, Boston, Maine, Colorado, and
more), Canada, and even into Europe (Austrialia, Brazil, France, and Sweden.)