A native son of the great state of Wisconsin, Joe Gullo is a former editor of The Second Supper Alternative News. He currently lives in New York City and works for The Onion. Joe enjoys nuanced obscenities and miming brass instruments with his vocal cords.

You may stumble on a few mason jars around the apartment filled with urine. Nothing to worry about. It’s mine. Just a little system I’ve developed to let my panther know whose territory is whose around here.