Thursday, November 01, 2007

Idiots deserve to be lost

Last night, as I was heading to meet my friends for a halloween good time, I was stopped by a Julie Chen-looking lady (aka the chenbot, host of big brother) asking which direction Bleecker was in. Since i had just exited the subway, it was taking me a couple seconds to get my bearings, so as i was thinking, i responded with an "uhhh..." which i guess can be interpreted as "i don't know"...however, when she followed up her question with "or Lafayette?", I was knocked back into my right mind, got my bearings and said "that way!" (with the enthusiasm implied by an exclamation point) and pointed her in the correct direction. Pleased with myself for helping out a fellow human, i waited on the corner for the walk signal to come on so i could continue on my way. Out of the corner of my eye, i saw her kind of huddle into the man she was with and then the two made an about face and started walking in the direction opposite from what i pointed. I don't know if it was because I was dressed up as Dora the Explorer and looked 6 years old, or if it was the extended "uuhhhhh..." before i committed to the answer, but as they tried to sneakily cross behind me and i heard the Chenbot say to her mate "i KNOW that Bleeker is this way." Ok, first of all, bitch, if you KNEW bleeker was that way, why the hell did you ask me? and second of all, bitch, bleeker was NOT that way and i hope you spent the entire night searching in the wrong area and you missed whatever douchebag party you were headed to. and then i hope when you realized your mistake, and that you should've listened to that little dora on the street corner, i hope your man dumped you.

after a few minutes of fuming over this, i was able to enjoy my evening. some highlights included the best duo ever dressed as a couple Thundercats (i'll post a picture when i get a chance to upload it)...not only did they have the bods for it, but they also made the costumes themselves. I also appreciated a girl named haley dressed as an american apparel ad and a dude on the train dressed as Hulk Hogan. he got points for commitment, since his lower half was only covered by yellow wrestling speedos. he also got points for putting up with all the shit he was getting from dudes that were clearly not as secure in their manhood as he whilst riding the train.

and finally, completely unrelated, i opened up the cnn website today and was greeted with a headline that made me giggle. Officer shot in donut shop robbery dies ..not the dying aspect of it, of course. and then i outright laughed when i thought more about a cop meeting his maker in a donut shop. and then i actually clicked on the article and read it and i got sad. but i mean...it's still kind of funny right?