Last night I heard cheering from outside, left my house, walked a few blocks, and saw several thousand stark-naked people riding bicycles down the street with a police escort. I’ve learned two things from this experience:

1) Any sort of event revolving around naked people is going to feature a whole hell of a lot of penis.

2) While crashing your bike and eating it on the pavement is horribly embarrassing (been there, unfortunately), it’s got to be a thousand times worse if you do it bare-assed.

I’m just glad no one had to stop to change a flat in my line of sight, because holy hell would that ever qualify as Bad Naked.