Doris Miliband To Run For Labour Leadership

Former Marxist Doris still insisted on dressing like a Russian peasant

Doris Miliband, mother of David and Ed, has announced that she is to run for the Labour leadership. She told Mrs Grayson at number 76, and within a matter of minutes the whole town knew.

Doris Miliband is concerned that Labour members should have a wide choice of candidates. "There should be more than just a couple of public schoolboys who don't tidy their room. I think the whole family should stand. Felix, our pet cat, has some really interesting ideas on the cod quota."

Ed Balls is becoming concerned that he may be squeezed out of the election by the large, extended Miliband family. Suggestions that all Labour members will have to change their name to Miliband have been denied, but rumours still persist that the Milibands are actually cloned at a secret laboratory somewhere in Norfolk.

Doris Miliband is expected to fight a tough campaign, and has already threatened to send her two opponents to bed without any supper.

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