My daughter didn't get PIP, seemingly coz she was there when she didn't go when she was 16. The judge back then said if she had gone he'd have given more points.She didn't get it coz she pushes through disabling and crippling autism confusion and anxiety and severe vertigo and pain despite needing back up. If she sat in her room and never tried to engage (and was male too I bet) she'd have got it and if spent it all on weed and computer games and stayed in her room she'd have got it. Coz she tries and pushes herself and masks she didn't. And all the medical experts said she masks and hides her symptoms. The system punishes you for trying to over come your disabilities.PIP now and she pays taxes for life later, no PIP and what, she's on ESA for life? What kind of fucked up system is that? (Mind you, same as school, give her the support and she'd have been great, but no, too much money to spend on her needs, better to lie about her needs and blame the mum as she is handily in a wheelchair)She needs help washing and dresses a couple of times a week. She doesn't wash the rest of the time and wears same clothes day in, day out. She is at risk of falls and stumbling inder a car on the pth every time she is out of the house. She falls inside the house. She is anxious and afraid and does not undertand every moment she is out. She can't cook or remember to feed herself or manage her medication or therapy. She mostly can't bathe or wash her hair due to pain and risk of falls.But coz she showed up to the appeal and coz she is going to college she is functioning fine. Apparently. Even if the care and support she needs is literally killing me by degrees which I willinginly give coz that's what Mums do. And if she didn't have needs she would be looking after me, not making me sicker, coz that's what children gladly do for their mothers. That's what families do, they love and support each other.No love in the world can pay for transport and care and extra needs and therapy. No love in the world can get me out of the serious fucking debt I will be in now.Come what may we will get her through the BTEC somehow, even if it kills me.We are not in a good place right now. Only fear of hell is keeping us here

Things are not good in the asparagus household. My daughter had more of a psychotic break than an autistic meltdown and went out side in the freezing cold in socks and teen shirt and pj pants and walked up to the ring road and was trying to walk in front of the cars. Took me ages to talk her back into the house. As for me, I keep thinking about her metformin and how quick it would take to kill me, having a body that burns sugar super quick anyway. don't worry, I won't, but the thoughts, along with the face of that smug judge and the 'disability expert' who was practically laughing at my daughter as she tried to explain her memory and concentration problems. A case of just coz you can do x, you must be able to do y, of old, as in not getting the support she needed at school. It was awful think they had made up their mind before they even saw us.

Killing ourselves is what the government wants, so we will not give them the satisfaction. Besides, as I said, we believe hell will be worst. We just need to get through the weeks and days of what is essentially trauma recovery :(

So sorry. The forms say it is based on the help you need whether or not you get that help, but then they judge on what you do rather than how you manage it. How soon can you apply again?

Although the forms take spoons it is worth a thought as I was refused on appeal but then got it back again at appeal. Can either of you get Carer’s Allowance? Again worth thinking about, although my daughter was awarded it at appeal in October (a year after applying) but no money yet!

Also sorry I didn’t see this til now, moving and all the associated paperwork, especially when people say they have sent stuff that they clearly hadn’t, has been sapping me. Plus 3 extra dental appointments for a broken tooth and pain from another one have not helped pain or spoons.