New Terrorist Threat Al-Gebra
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A secondary school teacher was arrested today at Sydney 's Kingsford Smith Airport as he attempted to board an international flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a pair of compasses, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At a press conference, an Australian Border Control spokesman said he believes him to be a member of the notorious extremist Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the Federal Police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.

'Al-Gebra can be a problem for all of us', the Spokesman said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They maintain secrecy by using secret codenames such "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.'

As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, “There are three sides to every triangle".

When asked to comment on the arrest, Opposition Leader Bill Shorten said - "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

Fellow Labour colleagues told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the Opposition Leader.