3/13/2013

Why You Don't Need to Give a Shit About Paul Ryan's Budget:
Representative Paul Ryan released the latest version of his grand and mighty budget yesterday, and Left Blogsylvania was in a tizzy about it, about how "cruel," "unrealistic," and "other words in quotation marks" it was. The Rude Pundit can boil the whole endless, shittily-written document down to a simple analogy: Imagine you're a married guy, and you and your stay-at-home husband are looking over your massive credit card debt. You tell your husband that there ain't no way, no how he's getting a job and you're sure as hell not gonna get a second job and that the best way to solve your problems is "We'll just eat out less and maybe go on one less vacation this year. Oh, and we'll have to stop paying for your mother's really nice nursing home. She can make do with the shabby one down the road. Problem solved." Now imagine that it's the third or fourth time you've said this is your solution, even though your husband has rejected it each time. Is there any reason to take you seriously at all?

When you read responses to Ryan's new budget, they say, like Jonathan Cohn at New Republic does, "Just go back and read what I wrote before; it's pretty much the same fuckin' thing." Gutting social welfare programs while boosting the military and cutting taxes for the rich? That's the best you've got? Really? And then you're gonna be all weaselly by using the Medicare savings you fucking ran against in 2012? Oh, blow us, Paul Ryan, each and every one of us.

The Rude Pundit is sick of Paul Ryan. He's sick of Ryan's goofy fuckin' face, he's sick of Ryan's slickly sincere voice, he's sick of Ryan rolling into town with donkey piss in a bottle and sellin' it to us like it's the key to eternal life. That cart's been here before, we heard everything he's had to say, and we chased his yowling ass away, tarred and feathered, back to Wisconsin.

Sure, sure, it'll pass the House of Representatives because they have to do something with their time than try to actually negotiate with Senate Democrats and the White House. But it won't even get voted on in the Senate. It's a dead document. It's boring to even give it this much consideration, and it's a waste of time to repeat the same arguments as last year. It pretty much proves that Republicans don't give a happy monkey fuck about getting anything done.

Lately, President Obama has been very publicly inviting GOP leaders to dine with him. Outreach, they call it. Even Obama is ready to admit it's just a waste of time (and probably some pretty good wine). Republicans won't even negotiate on any budget deals unless revenue increases are completely off the table. Can you imagine what would happen if Obama said he wouldn't talk unless Republicans gave up on any spending cuts? The heaving uproar in the media? John McCain's little head would pop like a squeezed pimple all over David Gregory one Sunday.

The proper way to think about Paul Ryan's latest iteration of his budget, a budget that helped the GOP to lose in 2012, a budget that was rejected by the majority of voters through the election, is that it's a proposal of punishment for a nation that rejected the Republican way of doing things. It's Ryan's and the GOP's way of saying to 99% of America, "Fuck you." Ryan may as well have put a picture of himself flipping us off on the cover.