What I did on my Summer vacation

Dear Readers: I hope you're enjoying your summer so far. How I wish I could join you at the beach, by the pool, or out at the ranch clearing brush. Unfortunately my summer has been spent promoting my new book "Godless: The Church of Liberalism."

If you've ever wondered what it would be like to be on tour promoting a book -- and, honestly, who hasn't? -- it's like being on a long, low-budget vacation with all of the good parts taken out. Except, of course, that I occasionally get to meet wonderful people like you who read my books, which makes it more than worthwhile.

Being on a book tour also means answering questions such as the following, which were left out of a Baltimore Sun article due to length. I hope you enjoy my responses, and look for me in fine bookstores everywhere this summer.

Q: The last time we spoke, you told me you're routinely misquoted by newspaper reporters. What are a couple of the more egregious examples? Why does this happen?

A: It happens so much, I don't even keep track of it anymore. The last one I remember was when I said "cutting the tax rate on capital gains seems to have increased tax receipts for fiscal 2006, just as supply-side economics predicted it would." It came out in the paper as, "I worship Adolf Hitler and share all of his goals, especially the 'final solution' to the 'Jewish problem.'"

I have no idea how it happens, given the strict objectivity and rigid nonpartisanship of the American media.

Q: The mainstream press is in economic trouble. Any comments on how they're reacting?

A: They are reacting with the same hysterical leftism that drove readers away in the first place.

Q: Bill Keller said The New York Times published the Swift banking story because of the public's right to know. Do you think he thinks that? Why did he publish it? What is the job description of a metro daily newspaper editor?

A: I don't like it when people ask me if I meant what I said or wrote, so I'll take him at his word and assume that he really means what he said: that anyone who reads The New York Times, including our enemies, is entitled to information about secret government programs being used to track terrorists, which means he's either (a) a complete moron or (b) a traitor.

An editor's job is to edit, which should not be confused with "to release sensitive information that can help the enemy during a war."

Q: Why is abortion sacrosanct to the left? Why have Democrats chosen this as their hill to die on? Why is evolution so important to liberals?