…catching glimpses till I see Him face to face…

Sunday Song

I’ve spent the last four months listening to the same five albums over and over. I thought it’d be fun to share them today, as these artists and songs have spoken to my heart time and again. The lyrics in many of these songs have great power and I love that they get stuck in my head.

Just this morning I was switching back and forth between these two refrains.

This song describes so much of my life in this moment. I find myself caught in the middle in so many ways. I work in a middle school — every day I’m helping kids who are caught in the middle between youth and adolescence find words to describe their emotions. My coworkers also come to me to express their frustrations; in adult drama, too, I am caught in the middle.

In my spiritual life….walking on this narrow road…waiting for the day when faith becomes sight….when I finally see Him face to face. I am caught in the middle between dim sight and full understanding.

It’s a beautifully frustrating tension. His kingdom: already here and not yet consummated. He makes Himself known, but only partly. He reveals His will and yet I don’t always recognize the purpose.

Do I believe Him? Do I trust Him? Not just in this, or for that, but in all things at all times? Do I believe that He is for me? That His grace is enough?

“Hope shall change to glad fruition//Faith to sight and prayer to praise”

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You’re making me
Somewhere in the middle, You’ll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You’ll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You’re by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I’m caught in the middle

I’ve seen days melt into nights
In circles of lights
I’ve watched a spider spin a star

Between the window box flowers
I’ve heard you laugh and cry
In a single sigh
And a story form within

Don’t let me lose my wonder
Don’t let me lose my wonder

I saw her broken dreams inside
But helping others fly
I saw his eyes without a doubt
Though other lights faded out
And though her calling roared
Such graciousness poured
From the vision of her soul

Don’t let me lose my wonder
Don’t let me lose my wonder

A baby cried through the dark
Beneath a jeweled spark
I knew Your voice upon the hill
And heard my lostness still
I found my home in the light
Where wrong was made right
And You rose as the morning star

It is far too easy to focus on His smallness at the expense of His overwhelming greatness. Our minds simply cannot understand fully, so we tend to hold on to what makes sense in our minds. I don’t want to make Him small. He will not fit into a human mold.

He must become greater, I must become less.

This song captures the tension beautifully. [click on the song title for a link to youtube]

The more I know Your power Lord, the more I’m mindfulHow casually we speak and sing Your nameHow often we have come to You with no fear or wonderAnd called upon You only for what we stand to gain

Lord, I often talk about Your love and mercyHow it seems to me, Your goodness has no endIt frightens me to think that I could take You for grantedThough You’re closer than a brother, you are more than just my friend

God forbid that I find You so familiarThat I think of You as less than who You areGod forbid, that I should speak of You at allWithout a humble reverence in my heart, God forbid

You are Father, God Almighty, Lord of Lords, You’re King of KingsBeyond my understanding, no less than everything

God forbid that I find You so familiarThat I think of You as less than who You areGod forbid, that I should speak of You at allWithout a humble reverence in my heartGod forbid, God forbid, God forbid

My soul finds rest in God alone, my rock and my salvation
A fortress strong against my foes and I will not be shaken
Though lips may bless and hearts may curse
And lies like arrows pierce me
I’ll fix my heart on righteousness, I’ll look to Him who hears me

Find rest, my soul, in God alone amid the world’s temptations
When evil seeks to take a hold I’ll cling to my salvation
Though riches come and riches go, don’t set your heart upon them
The fields of hope in which I sow are harvested in heaven

I’ll set my gaze on God alone and trust in Him completely
With every day pour out my soul and He will prove His mercyThough life is but a fleeting breath, a sigh too brief to measureMy King has crushed the curse of death and I am His forever

I’ve had a great deal of time this week to listen to new music. This lovely snowstorm is likely giving me a five day weekend which gave me ample time to do all my homework, clean the house, and read for pleasure.

Bethel Music’s Amanda Cook has a great album “Brave New World” that is a perfect background for writing. Fortunately/Unfortunately, there were many times I had to stop writing academic papers and meditate on a lyric.

One that keeps giving me pause is “Kind”.

You are not a tyrant KingYou do not delight in sufferingYour power doesn’t compensate for insecurity‘Cause You are not a tyrant KingYou are not an angry manYou do not treat us with contemptYour voice is sure, Your eyes are soft, Your smile confident‘Cause You are not an angry manYou are kindYou are kindYou are kindYou are kindYour love is a fury all its ownSweeping the dust and turning feet towards homeCarrying the orphans and resetting broken bonesYour love is a fury all its ownYou are kindYou are kindYou are kindYou are kindAnd love is powerful enoughWithout the fear of punishmentBe at rest, oh my soul. My God is not a tyrant. He is kind.

I love me some Lecrae and I’ve been listening to Anomaly while cooking lately.

This song, “Broken” has some beautiful truth.

I’m just a broken instrument in the hands of the Greatest……All the pieces on the groundI shattered all the dreams I thought I foundAnd you put me back togetherI need your grace for my flawsGod, I’m broken in this mess I’ve madeI need You to restore me……Tryna hold onto our lives with these clumsy handsFell off the wall of purity doing the Humpty danceForget the king’s horses, forget the king’s menThe King is coming to put us back together again…Your presence in meIs all the strength that I need