The Pav Says... England was good to Phil Baroni

http://mmajunkie.comThe Pav says… England is good I would like to dispel some rumors and set the record straight:

The women in England are not ugly.

The English food does not suck.

English people are hospitable and like Americans.

Now, I should probably qualify that:

The women at and around the fight game in England, particularly the ring girls and those in the first few rows of dress-to-impress seats, are hot.

The food at the five-star hotel in which Cage Rage put us was very good.

The English people are hospitable and like Americans — when you walk around with “The New York Bad Ass” Phil Baroni, UFC Hall of Famer Mark “The Hammer” Coleman and Strikeforce Champion Josh “The Punk” Thompson.

And so the adventure begins…

So a few weeks back I called to tell Baroni we booked a fight for his debut at 170 pounds in Cage Rage in England. He responded, “Great, but you are coming with me.” Visions of 30 hours of travel for a 48-hour stay of jetlag passed through my mind, and I responded, “Or what?” Phil said, “Or, I will punch you in the face.” Now, understand many of my clients and fighters in general would say that. Phil would do it. I thought how bad could that shot be? Then images of Menne, Minowa, Chonan and Kondo passed threw my mind. It looked like a bangers-and-mash and Big Ben weekend for the kid.

Upon arrival in London, I started to get a bad feeling about the trip. If it wasn’t enough that I had to endure a 100 or so foot drop mid-Atlantic due to “an air pocket,” my World Edition Blackberry — one that comes with a hefty price tag with the promise it’ll function everywhere — did not work in England. (Understand I get 100 emails and 200 text messages on a slow day.) I began to feel like I was going to put the dreaded Rule of Three to the test. Three minutes without air. Three days without water. Three weeks without food. Three hours without The Pav’s phone. They are all said to lead to certain death.

A suited driver was waiting for me with a “Mr. Pavia” sign to remind me that somewhere after my 40th birthday I had replaced my father as Mr. Pavia. I got comfortable in the back seat of his newer Volvo, the English version of a Town Car, for the 45-minute drive to the hotel. Of course the uneasiness set in as he boarded on the right side of the car to drive and proceeded to drive on the left side of the road.

Just when I was sure I had entered the Twighlight Zone, he said, “Mr. Pavia you are from California? Do you know Josh Koscheck?” I answered with the obvious, “WTF?” He explained that he was a “TUF fanatic” and he just loved Koscheck and wanted to know if I actually had met him. I told him that we were acquainted and he had just beaten my client and buddy Chris Lytle the previous weekend, and I thanked him for rubbing alcohol in that open wound. As we pulled out of the parking structure, that three minutes without air seemed like a great option.

We arrived at the hotel just in time for the well-attended press conference that preceded the weigh-ins. Phil sat at the podium with all the other fighters. When a reporter asked him what his game plan was for the fight, he responded, “I am going to separate him from consciousness. I am going to knock him out.” From the center of the room, someone uttered, “In your dreams.” Everyone turned to see the comment had come from the incredibly hot, Barbie-like girlfriend of Phil’s opponent, Scott Janson.

Knowing Phil as I know him, I cringed thinking, “That is going to cost you, Scott. You should have kept your chick in check.” The rest of the press conference was without issue sans the question from Ken Shamrock-slayer Robert “Buzz” Berry to fellow heavyweight contender Mustafa “Moose” Al-Turk asking how long it had taken him to grow that “Goad-ee.” After some research, I learned this was British for what appeared to be cheese on the chin of Moose.

After the press conference, it was weigh-in/Baroni retribution time. It didn’t take much since Coleman had been stirring the pot. Phil approached the scale. Now, understand at 170 pounds, Phil may have the best body in pro sports, and I say that in a very heterosexual manner. Baroni stepped up to the scale wearing Ed Hardy briefs and Aviator sunglasses. As he stepped on, he immediately “redecorated” and turned to address the banging blond and said, “In your dreams, baby.”

It was clear that it was soon time for a fight.

Janson was a young up-and-coming former pro boxer who stepped up. (Hence the event name “Step Up.”) At breakfast on fight day, I said to Phil, “This is your first fight at 170. The book on this kid is good hands and limited ground. We are going to take him down and sub him quick and get a warm pint by midnight, right?” Baroni turned to me and called his shot in Babe Ruth-like fashion. He said, “This is going to be a highlight-reel KO.”

Wembley Arena was nearly sold out, and the room was loud with great energy. Phil was the last fight on a packed card. This gave me time to catch up with client James “The Colossus” Thompson and girlfriend Graz, who reside in England and came out to the fights. I really enjoy James’ sense of humor and quick wit but often have to turn to Graz for translation as I struggle speaking anything but American. We watched as always-exciting Brad Picket got the win, Moose claimed the British heavyweight title in a quick bout, and Buzz was outlasted in his rematch with the enormous Neil “Goliath” Grove.

Baroni is always entertaining, and he made it his night. There really is no such thing as a boring Phil Baroni fight. About midway through the first round, he connected with a right that made Janson go rigor mortis and crash to the canvas. As Phil stood over his unconscious foe making the sign of the cross, three things went through my mind:

That was a great highlight-reel knockout.

Good call on coming to England and not taking that shot. (You always make the right call Pav.)

Janson, while the blonde was a good call, bad call stepping up and taking that shot. He later told us at the bar he tried to act hard all weekend but really just wanted to ask Phil, Coleman and Punk for autographs.

The weekend wouldn’t be complete without expressing our gratitude to ProElite, Inc. for the opportunity to fight in England and to the guys of Cage Rage (particularly Dave O’Donnell and Tony Colasanto) for making sure everything was handled and ran smoothly.

I hope to make that godforsaken trek halfway around the world again in the near future.

Ken Pavia runs MMAAgents.com, one of MMA’s biggest sports agencies and one that represents approximately 50 MMA fighters. “The Pav” is an MMAjunkie.com contributor who gives a behind-the-scenes look at an MMA agent’s career representing some of the sport’s biggest stars. He can be found on MySpace at www.myspace.com/kenpavia. His views do not necessarily reflect those of MMAjunkie.com and its staff.

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