Bonnie I really do believe you are a smart woman but that post was a bunch of hogwash. Seriously, anyone who has ever left a marriage where the other person has removed themselves from the relationship via their abuse, lies or cheating is not of strong mind when they decide to go back to that person.

Did I love my ex-wife, sure I did, but there was no way I was putting up with her lies and cheating ways. She did it once and it was once to many. Those people who are still "in love" with their exes, from instances stated above and want to get back together show very little self confidence and believe they can't find anyone else. They wallow in their own self pity to much to care. Call me cruel but I have a frim belief that you can't change anyone, not when you are our age and allegedly a responsible mature person. People don't want to change Bonnie, you know that, it takes to much work. Why would anyone want to go back to a situation based on previous acts of that nature?

Mandalay..even with divorced/separated men, I think the ones who have caused grief to their wives and caused her to leave do regret and missed them so..
I know at least one guy here whose wife separated for 2 years due to his fooling around..never lost hope for her to return and kept regretting his own folly..and she finally returned but I hope they are working out their issues..he missed her so much and promised never to misbehave again..but who knows...
I also know another couple whose husband after having several mistresses , now realises he is still in love with his wife and wants to remarry her, so she lives next door to him and still refuses to remarry him and she enjoys him better as a boyfriend continuing to woo her ..

the chase for alot of men is like trying to catch the proverbial fish that is still not caught and he is at wits end finding the right bait , rod and technique..so my statement was based on years of observation and I will add that it works both ways ..

husbands too could be the ones missed when the wives find that after all the searching they have lost a big catch..I am counselling such a woman right now..she was so so stupid to go fool around and lose her gorgeous husband ..and knows she will never ever find anyone so generous and kind again..so it cuts both ways..
Marriage as an institution is in danger of being treated as disposable nappies.. and like nappies it is bio-non degradable..stinks and environmentally unfriendly..time to re-examine why this is so..

Bonnie, in the context of the thread and based on the last post from Sharp prior to you making that comment, it was taken that you were talking about divorced men. In your scenario above, then yes, I would agree with you.

Good move Sharp..men never know how much they miss their wives till they lose them...

HUH? You really didn't write that did you?

yes, and this is a valid statement made by lots of my male friends, one just lost his wife to cancer and is beyond consolation and is completely lost without her..he described his pain as losing the right arm..

I happened to stand in line behind a couple at a cinema recently, a guy passed by and this couple asked about his wife, he shocked them by telling them that she had just died, and his parting words to the MALE friend was,:' don't take her for granted. Enjoy and love her, u don't know how bad it is to lose her..'..this is a real conversation I overheard from total strangers...right from the horse's mouth...a man speaking from the heart!

..and my late husband often told me that marrying me was the best thing he has ever done in his life..when I use to leave him to take the kids off for the summer , he was completely lost and lonely and would call everyday to hear our voices ..
why do you doubt this statement I made?

I know what u mean CUB, happened to me once too, so I use to carry a mini sandbucket in the car..very handy for accidents, emergencies like puke and pee.. mini bin for all rubbish..and also sandy beach to stop for some fun..

sharp1 write: The thread topic is intended for significant other type relationships...but I'll bet some of us have a few stories about raising our kids that just make us want to shake our head and wonder, "Are we nuts?" Some of the things they've put us through, you just know you have to love them if you've allowed them to stick around! lol I know Cub has a recent story! lol

you mean like my daughter getting married,(big wedding), getting divorced 5 months later and we were still paying for the wedding 1 1/2 later? Duh!

The thread topic is intended for significant other type relationships...but I'll bet some of us have a few stories about raising our kids that just make us want to shake our head and wonder, "Are we nuts?" Some of the things they've put us through, you just know you have to love them if you've allowed them to stick around! lol
I know Cub has a recent story! lol

I'm thinking fundraising organizer, coodinating/hosting corporate parties in excess of 100 people a few times a year, volunteer mom/part time teacher, raising 2 kids, chauffeur duties, family social coordinator, chef, secretary, etc. I think a stay at home mom is worth a hell of alot more! lol

?15,000 is about US$22,000..some years back and of course they were pin-stripe suited chauvnistic guys who calculated that meagre figure..so they were thinking of their posh ladies-of leisure wives who have live-in help..I think..
You are definitely right about the work of a stay-at home wife and mum..who works all day and on call all night and enjoys no leave of any sort..I was a born-again mum , stayed home and realised how tough the job was compared to going to an office and shifting paper , meetings and lunches..and travels...with secretaries to attend to your mundane stuff..

Bonnie88 write: Good move Sharp..men never know how much they miss their wives till they lose them... Wives are social secretaries..and not that long ago an insurance company did put a numerical figure to the cost of the job of being wife and stay at home mums..about ?15,000 p.a. and that is how much they cost to replace..

That doesn't sound like a whole lot Bonnie...how much would that be in USD or Cdn $'s?
I'm thinking about $42,000...that's not a hell of alot! I'm thinking fundraising organizer, party organizer (birthdays, Xmas, Hallowe'en, Easter, corporate, community...), volunteer mom/part time teacher, raising 2 kids, chauffeur duties, family social coordinator, chef, secretary, vacation planner, etc. (did I leave anything out?) I think a stay at home mom is worth a hell of alot more! lol Worth a MILLION!!! lol

Good move Sharp..men never know how much they miss their wives till they lose them...
Wives are social secretaries..and not that long ago an insurance company did put a numerical figure to the cost of the job of being wife and stay at home mums..about ?15,000 p.a. and that is how much they cost to replace..

Bonnie88 write: Min..love to go to Africa but I want to see S. America too.. Sharp..man or no man..just go with the flow of your own plan..he will just have to fit with your plan...you are worth it...and whatever you plan he will just have to go along.. (sorry listen to this bossy old boot...lol) but trust me, men usually have no plan and their social life has to be planned by someone else and it is usually their wives or secretaries..

Hahaha Min I couldn't agree more! Bonnie you are so right! I planned all the vacations and social outings or gatherings for my ex. His social life is now non-existent! I still have to let him know when our kids are out of school, so he can plan something to do with them...no what? It doesn't happen, unless I book it for him. Hence, I need to move...can't be his keeper forever! lol