Even though Singapore Airlines has equipped its new A380 jets with private double bed suites, company officials are saying you'd better not do the bouncy bouncy in there or you'll meet with their stern disapproval. What are they going to do? Throw you off the plane? The first couple to book one of the double suites wasn't too impressed with the airline's prudish demeanor.

"So they'll sell you a double bed, and give you privacy and endless champagne — and then say you can't do what comes naturally?" asked Tony Elwood, a 76-year-old passenger who booked the suite with his wife, Julie. "Seems a bit strange."

Let's not forget that Singapore Airlines is based in a country which still deems it okay to smack people with a rattan cane for even the slightest transgression, so you'd better keep that johnson in your pants, big boy. "There are things that are acceptable on an aircraft and things that aren't, and the rules for behaviour in our double beds are the same ones that apply throughout the aircraft," proclaims Stephen Forshaw, a Singapore Airlines official. He warns, "If couples used our double beds to engage in inappropriate activity, we would politely ask them to desist."

Since the doors close on the suites, how on earth are Singapore Airlines flight attendants going to know who is engaging in the old in/out and who isn't? It's always so noisy in aircraft anyway, you could be screaming to high heaven and no one would ever know.

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We're thinking one of the most difficult temptations to resist aboard a Singapore Airlines double-bed flight is avoiding asking one of those gorgeous flight attendants, known as "the Singapore Girls," to join us inside the comfy suite. But then, for the $14,320 price for two tickets in one of the suites, we'd hope a good swift caning would be included in the ticket price. [Times Online, via Fleshbot (NSFW)]