Not trusting is NOT an act of rebellion

So, two for two- postings that is. Today, February 26 reflections in “Jesus Calling” start out harmless enough, but I am thankful for my ability to discern. Just because the book is called “Jesus Calling” doesn’t mean it is His words. She has her frame of reference that she is using to record her reflections and I do not have to buy into all of it, or any of it for that matter. I love that the Lord is leading me step by step, as author Sarah Young says, but to say the future is flimsy? Uncertain, yes, but flimsy? No.

She says “secret things belong to Lord” and even sights a bible verse, but then says that figuring out the future, worrying, doubting in the Lord’s promises is an act of rebellion. I totally disagree. She is wrong. Dead wrong. I know, because I am learning to trust him again. It’s hard to trust when your life has no certainty, not a lot you can be sure of, not knowing when he will be hiding in the closet. Living the reality that those who are supposed to care and protect you violate you instead. Not trusting is the only way to survive. And we are born with that instinct to survive.

But I am safe now. I am brave. I am perseverance. And I do not want to just survive, I want to live- and I know that will take trust. So I must trust that God has a plan of sheer goodness for me. How can I enjoy and trust even more God’s plan of sheer goodness for me? I have been asking myself that now multiple times a day. And I am starting to relax more and enjoy the journey. But I am not buying into the accusation that I have been rebellious- that is the pious bull sh*&t that I have been fed that keeps people groveling with low self esteem and keeps them from leading abundant productive lives. But not me, uh un, not this time.