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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Today, Bindu Wiles (http://binduwiles.com) announced the upcoming launch of The Shed Project(in early September). I participated in Bindu's 21.5.800 challenge where a large group of people committed to do yoga for 5 days a week and write 800 words a day for 21 days. Admittedly, my commitment was less-than-stellar, but it did bring a huge amount of awareness not only to my yoga and writing practice but also to the choices I am consciously and unconsciously making. Bindu's challenge spread wide and far, reaching people of all backgrounds. I expect The Shed Project will continue to bring together people aligning with Bindu's wisdom.

The Shed Project is an 8-week project where participants are challenged to, well, Shed! Bindu proposes losing 10 pounds of body weight (if so desired and appropriate for your situation) and up to 1/4 of all of your material possessions. Bindu has already mentioned that she plans to get down to 3 backpacks and 1 box. (I will declare right now that I will get no where near that! With 2 kids, a husband, a dog, and a serious stash of art supplies, those would have to be some seriously HUGE backpacks and a box the size of a storage shed.)

Within hours of becoming aware of this project, my perceptions are changing. I talked to hubby (who has tentatively agreed to do this with me!!) about what exactly we could let go. We mentioned a few things...perhaps some books, old electronics. But once I got started thinking, I didn't want to stop. Just how far can I go?

It is here that my truth lies. And it is underneath all of this stuff - my books, my boxes of "memory" items, my fears - that I exist.

I realized this evening that it is behind all of this that I have hidden, at least for several years if not for most of my life. I am honestly afraid to claim I am anything. (I started to type "anything other than....." but couldn't think how to finish it. I am afraid to claim I am anything. That is the basic truth.)

I am afraid to say I am a yoga teacher, even though I completed training. What if someone asks me about an injury and how to do a pose around it? What if I honestly don't know? Will they think I'm a fake? I'll certainly feel like one.

I am afraid to say I am an artist (photographer, painter, poet, etc.). The faces I make aren't symmetrical. I haven't sold a single thing, never been in a gallery, never even had formal training. Right now I am surrounded by painted papers, sketch books filled with detailed drawings, and journals filled with mixed-media art and pages of poetic writing. But why in the world would anyone buy that when there are other artists out there doing what I'm doing...only more realistic or more stylized or more detailed or blah blah blah.

I am afraid to claim I am anything because I am aware that I do not have all of the answers...if, indeed, any at all. (Wiser people than I have said that the wiser we get, the fewer answers we realize we have. Try telling that to my fear gremlins.) I can hide behind these books - hide from others and from myself - claiming that I am "learning" or that I'll have this group of books here for when I am ready to learn that particular topic that interests me. I can hide behind the hundreds of blogs I follow, honestly believing in the beauty and talent of EACH and every one of the bloggers, claiming that I'm still exploring what's out there. I can hide behind all of the stuff I have gathered over the years and be inspired until the day I take my last breath. But inspiration is nothing without action.

Logic, my old, well-worn security blanket, tells me to keep learning. To learn how to start a business, to surround myself with books and wise people, to bookmark as many sites as I can to reference, to hold onto those old letters and emails and cards and everything that reminds me of some memory. Logic tells me I need these things, that I'll regret not having them. That I will be empty without them.

Ironically, it is in the process of letting all of this go that I discover how full (over-full) I actually am. I am the wave in the ocean, desperately collecting driftwood and seashells and anything anyone throws into the water around me in the hopes that it will define me, make me more than I am. If I would just let it go I could flow into the vast beauty that I already am.

I ran across an old journal the other day while in the process of de-cluttering. It was filled with fascinating quotes - written by ME - deep quotes, soulful writing, poetic phrases that I would praise someone else for if I ran across them today. Something sparked at that point...just a thought....that I already am that person. I can start to release these books that tell me how to create or discover that person in 7 easy steps. Apparently, I'm already there.

I have discovered more of myself and my dreams than I ever thought possible throughBIG (Fearless Painting), Connie's workshop. (Http://dirtyfootprintsworkshops.com) My breathing becomes quicker and more shallow as the anxiety increases when I think about who I will discover if I can keep the courage to follow through with The Shed Project.

So many of you out there are already taking steps of your own on this path. Connie, Jingle, Victoria, Kathy, Melita, my fellow tribe members in BIG, and oh-so-many others (who I'd like to name but would spend all night on the computer!) who have taken a step by putting a part of themselves out there, creating something they normally wouldn't, delving into a course to follow their dreams, sharing a video for the first time, living their beliefs, ...taking one step at a time and realizing that life is so much more than a paycheck.

I honor EACH and EVERY one of you - whether I named you above or not, whether I chat with you regularly or not, whether I've ever even met you. You are already a beautiful person. I hope that you can take whatever steps you feel ready - feel called - to take in joining Bindu, myself, and most certainly many others, in shedding what you no longer need, shedding that which no longer supports your truth.

Perhaps together we can discover how beautiful we all truly, truly are.

Care to get a jump-start? Can you list one thing below that you'll get rid of (in a responsible manner, of course!) in the next 24 hours? Perhaps a book? An expired jar of spices (yeah, I've got them too)? A grudge? A tear (or several)?

Monday, July 26, 2010

I am beyond thrilled to be recognized by the lovely Connie and to share a place with such an amazing group of people. To Connie and to each of you, thank you.

I also wanted to elaborate on the pages that I shared - it's been awhile since I've shared my Art Journal work here on the blog! If you haven't yet read the interview, I encourage you to do so here.

If you ventured over here from the interview, welcome! Please leave a comment and let me know you were here...I Adore the community that is created through blogging and art!

Evaporating

This is one of my favorite pages that I have done. At the time I was doing a lot of research into our family history. I was simply fascinated by the stories and photos I found tucked away in closets.

Each photo is a of a deceased relative (save for the little one of me in the bottom corner with my pink flower). The large one is of my father.

I truly felt the connection to my ancestors through this research and by reading their stories and sometimes touching the very items they used to hold in their hands. I was saddened by how locked away this essence of myself had been.

Around the photos is a light blue block of ice. In the corner by me the ice is melting (slight drips on the right side) into a pool that flows into and through me and then is evaporated and released back into the universe. No matter how many times I view this page, something more speaks to me.

This was a fun one done while in Connie's Art Journal Love Letters class. I had run across this quote on a Unitarian Universalist Church sign in our town - "Enlightenment for the wave happens when it realizes it is the water." Such a beautiful way to remind us that we are whole with everything that is!

The cards were done as reminders of who I need to remember that I am...Reminders of who I have always been, even when I don't feel it.

(Technique: I made the background with blue and white acylics and the text with a white Sharpie paint pen. It was outlined with various markers. The pocket at the bottom is actually waxed paper, crinkled, then adhered to the pages via double sided tape. The cards are just cardstock, cut on the sides with decorative scissors.)

Voices of the Cave.

This one was done more recently and is part of an emerging connection I feel to my tribal nature.

I started with the copper color (showing up more as brown here) and applied it with baby wipes. I repeated this with brown acrylic paint, then white. Noticing that the baby wipes had themselves turned into works of art, I tore them and applied pieces to the page using gel medium. This added a delicious texture. I made them fit more into the page by applying further paints over them.

I had not intended for this page to be "cave-like", but after applying the brown I knew it was the direction I was going. After all of the above was applied, I took a piece of charcoal and made cave-like drawings over the page.

The poem/writing was then added by Sharpie on a piece of white tissue paper. (See below). I added some ink (Tim Holtz/Ranger Distress Ink - Walnut, I believe) to the page and crinkled it. Using a needle (I tried fingers first and made a mess), I threaded the tissue paper to the back page with a brown string of twine.)

The writing:

So long before me, they were making ART.

Whether it was for a reason - to pass along messages for survival or to simply record; whether their names were recorded in history books or simply on those tongues of their tribe who have also become silent. Their process was the same.

They moved their bodies in harmony with the messages coming from within. They created through themselves - drum beats or harps or wind whistling through nostrils providing tones as they danced with creation in caves or castles or huts or dark basements as family life continued on upstairs.

No other reason than to create, and beyond that reasons could only be interpreted by the receiver. What does it mean? Ah, yes...and yet, the message is not the message.

I create and tap into this stream of my ancestors communication - those long dead and those who were alive to see my birth, those whose blood flows through me and those whose connection with me is solely through our divinity.

My tribe, I hear you. I creat to continue your story, our story, my story. I have no choice now that I can hear you, feel you. I am filled with gratitude.

New: Learn how you too can become part of this Beautiful 30 Journals 30 Days Community!! Yes, YOU! Check it out HERE before July 31st...don't miss this opportunity!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

I am so thrilled to be discovering myself in ways that I've never explored. Yoga and the amazing teacher training that I went through led me part of the way - creative radiance has led me the rest.

I think I've been neglecting my blog some recently because the words are starting to melt away leaving just a creative blob of pooled BE-ing behind. Can't you just see the swirled, glittering colors dancing together?

I am still running (ok, WAY less than I desire to...but I'll blame that on the weather for now). I'm still parenting our kiddos. (Including our son who just broke his collarbone this past week! He really isn't in pain...which is good and bad because he often forgets and over-does it.)

Life still goes on. But this little process of painting, sketching, and creating is altering my life! I've said it before and I'll say it again.

~

A recent creation, which took probably 3 nights of "play" (actual size is a bit bigger than a poster board):

I started with only blue swirls and went from there. One of the most difficult parts? Sticking with it. I started the green "leaves" and almost quit they were taking so long. But I kept going...good life lesson there.

The second night, I felt it needed unity - something that tied the swirls, the blue waves, green "trees", and copper "fire" together.

I emerged. The elements of the picture truly came to represent all that I've been through...the lessons, the stories that make up me. I am emerging through those. They are still part of me and yet, I am not underneath them - defined by them. I am unified. (And yes, intuitively I recognize the elements that weren't intended to be there but ended up coming through!)

There is so much more behind this painting, but I just want to share with you the "final" piece and let it take you where it will.

~

I don't care if you are a business-minded soul who is focused on the bottom line or living your life swimming in the back pools of mountains - I cannot encourage you enough to find your creative soul. I don't mean you have to paint or draw (though it can teach you a lot about moving beyond those "I-can't" fears!)...but just create.

If you do yoga, next time you head to your mat at home...create your moves. Flow with music and create body & breath moves that bring a smile to your face and to your soul.

If you run, next time your shoes hit the pavement....create a Run. Change your path, change your awareness (the souls/soles of your feet, your breath, the clouds...countless options!), change your breathing pattern. Create The Run that is you.

I could go on, but honestly...I want to go paint. ;-)

BIG news coming tomorrow...stay tuned!!

p.s. I will continue to thank you for your comments! I've not been able to reply to them but am reading Each and Every one....YOU keep me going! Merci from the bottom of my heart.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Finally back home! Here are a few of the photos I mentioned yesterday.

(And thanks for all the understanding love!!)

Yummy Art Journal Colors.

(I am just in love with that palette. You can't tell by the photo, but the gold and silver shimmer...yum. And those are primarily inexpensive Tempera paints - yay!)

Painting in progress.

(Wish I would have discovered far earlier how much I LOVE the process of painting.)

A lovely rainbow we saw while out of town (actually a double rainbow, but those photos didn't turn out so well). Amazingly, it was a FULL rainbow and both sides appeared to touch the ground! I didn't find the pot of gold, however....

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Pardonnez-Moi for the little hiccup in blogging! Allow me to fill you in on what has been going on:

(***Grrr....we are away from home and the plug-in on this computer just crashed. Alas, no photos for this blog - even though I just uploaded some fun ones! GGGGGRRRRRRR.***)

* BIG stuff. Literally. Connie's class (http://dirtyfootprintsworkshops.com) has overwhelmed my life, like a huge wave of fresh breath I never knew I needed. A tribe of beautiful women, videos and chats with the lovely Connie herself, and introspective and free-ing painting that is leading me to a life of my dreams. Too lovey-sounding? Here's the basics: I'm painting. I love it. It is changing my perspective on life. 'nough said.

* Art Journaling. I took Connie's Art Journal Love Letters class several months ago (http://dirtyfootprintsworkshops.com). (Ok, yeah, I admit a little crush on her. What can I say - she is an amazing woman!) and learned techniques and had some cues on going deeper. It took getting my own fear gremlins out of the way to actually understand what art journaling can bring to one's life. Here's a photo from a recent page-in-progress....I LOVE the color palette I stumbled upon. (**Um, yeah...Nope. No photos. Silly computer.)

* Cutting the Crap. We are decluttering the house - every nook and cranny. Hubby is on vacation this week (hence the slow down on blogging...expect things to pick back up next week!) so we are taking full advantage of the time we have to create a home we'll be happy to live in next week and the weeks after. It is stunning how freeing it is to remove things that are no longer needed.

* Moving. As in moving my body. I've noticed the past few weeks that I've started paying more and more attention to the pudge around my middle but doing less and less about it. This leads to more feelings of guilt...and a nasty cycle. This morning, I donned my running shoes and went out for a couple of miles. It felt AWESOME. I'm nowhere near the shape I was in around the mini-marathon but am totally psyched that I still feel this good while running! We have a couple of events in the near future - I'll add more about those soon! For anyone out there feeling a bit guilty about not MOVING I cannot encourage you enough to just stand up -

yes, right now -

and just stretch into a huge, deep, yummy breath. Remember how good that feels. Imprint it into your body. Next time you feel the call to do more or just to move, do it.

* Review. Ah, amazing things still going on in between parenting, painting, pitching, and partnering. Still plugging away at the Artistic Mother projects (see the link on my sidebar) (following Shona Cole's book, "The Artistic Mother"), the Firestarter Sessions (with Danielle in all of her brilliance), Suzi Blu's fun & totally inspirational Goddess & Poet class, reviewing the AWESOME information that was shared through Kelly Rae Robert's Flying Lessons class, and fervently trying to keep up with reading blogs. Oh my dear friends, I still love each of you...I will visit SO SOON!! I know I'm forgetting some stuff, but that's enough for now! :)

On top of that (yes, you may declare me officially insane) I am SO thinking I'm going to need to jump on the Sketchbook Project (have you checked this out? Join with me!) aaaand I've some plans in store for merging LifeUnity and the sadly neglected Strength To Be Me site. Shhh...our little secret....but it'll be a new, fresh start for bigger things!

*BIG BREATH* THANK YOU for sticking with me on this brief computer down-time. No excuses just explanations as to why it has been a little quiet in LifeUnity Land recently.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Thank you for the deep and thought out comments on the last post. It's funny - most people here and on FB meant that thought I was going to take a break...when I was writing because I felt like I already took one! Ah well...I'm going to let that organically develop, take the suggestions offered by you wonderful people, and move on.

The biggest thing going on in my life right now? BIG. Connie's class (Dirty Footprints Studio) centered around Fearless Painting. I took the class because I adore Connie but am fascinated to find that this class is leading, pushing, nudging me to those places I've longed to find for so long.

BIG is helping me:

Get back into running. Yeah, I know. Painting is helping me run. That's just how this funky universe works! I will admit that for several weeks I have not been running...but I took those first few steps outside a couple of days ago and YUM! (hot even at 7 a.m., but yum.) The creative process helps me brush those procrastination-chips off of my shoulder and puts a li'l energy juice into my dreams...so I wake up ready to go.

Create into my Self. Fancy, but what does that mean? I know I'm something special in there. That isn't ego speaking, rather divinity (which is in all of us) acknowledging itself. The process we are going through in BIG is helping me create my life - smoosh it, paint it, tear it, fold it, gently coax it - back into that unique, glittered, shiny form it was before I became afraid to be that person.

Make some pretty cool stuff. Ohhh, I so want to hit "backspace" and erase that. But now that I've typed farther, it would take too long to do it. :) The product may not be what this is all about, but it is a nice side result, eh? Part of being BIG is admitting that YES, this stuff is cool. I LIKE having it hanging on my wall. No caveats, no "yeah, buts", nothing further.

Wanna see?

I adore this one because it has a hidden message! Love that!! It started out as just painted shapes. From there, I wanted alphabet shapes....my Cricut machine was right there....and the rest was history.

The hidden message appears in the colored letters.

It's a bit trickier to see in a photo, but look at the red, yellow, and blue letters...read from top to bottom, left to right. Seeing anything?

Want a bit more help?

It may take some time to understand, but once you see...you'll never be able to Not See again.

Oooh, so much within me and you! We should celebrate....any suggestions?

Saturday, July 10, 2010

During a recent chat, it was mentioned that someone felt like a bird flying around in frantic circles who just ran into a wall.

What did I think? "tweet, tweet, tweet....*thwunk*" ...and just started laughing out loud. I'm odd like that. But that fun little image has stuck with me and taken a different message. (And it keeps me laughing.) How so?

Important Note: Bird violence is not funny. It is dangerous. And scary. Except in cartoons. And in this image in my head.

I've read countless places that it is important to update Twitter, Facebook, and one's blog on a consistent basis. There are so many reasons for this ...too many to try to recount here. Suffice to say: I GET IT. I understand. I know.

But I've also run across several blog posts, tweets, and Facebook posts that offer apologies for being away, for something happening offline (planned or not) that kept that person away from their typing. Or people who have disappeared for several days (*gasp*!) only to reappear with no explanation but continued fun information to share.

So my question for each of you is: Do online "networkers" get a "weekend"? How do we take breaks? Should we notify one another of said breaks? If so, what is the cutoff to notify you - if we'll be away for a day? A few days? A week? Should we apologize if unexpectedly able to post for several days? Offer explanations? What happens to my online world if I turn off the "Power" button for more than a few hours??

Sometimes I feel like that bird....tweeting, tweeting, tweeting, and then THUNK. Life happens.

I have intentionally been away from the computer for a couple of days, throwing in a few tweets here and there, but mostly focusing on life sans keyboard. A lot of it has been art, which has led to reflection, which has led to journaling and long blank stares into space, which has led into feeling hungry, which has led to pizza....mmm, pizza....but I digress.

I know my online support group is still there. All of you are still existing. But my blog is falling way down on sidebar lists because I haven't updated since Wednesday. Those checking out my profile on Twitter or my fan page on Facebook may just venture away because they figure I'm one of those "here today gone tomorrow" type posters. (Did you notice the shameless plug there with a little link-age!)

I build my connections through online dedication yet to create that following I need something to share. To have something to share I need to be doing my art and my living off of the computer. T'is quite the conundrum.

I know none of us should feel guilty for living our lives off of the computer. (Odd to even say that, eh?) And yet, the online world charges on without us. I don't feel guilt, per se, just concern at the length of time one can be gone - and how many times over the period of a year one can be gone that long - before followers or would-be followers start to question my dedication.

SO. I am begging to know your thoughts. If you are new to any of these social networking ventures, how often do you post/tweet? Are you concerned about being away?

If you are a veteran - particularly those with business ventures (coaching, Etsy, etc.), how do you deal with planned or unplanned time away from the computer? Do you apologize for absences? Offer explanations?

What about comments? I have tried to keep up with replying to comments but find myself falling woefully behind...especially when there is no direct link to the commenter's email. I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS and want to make sure YOU KNOW that I read and honor each one!

I mentioned a long time ago, somewhere in the virtual world, that it would be nice if we all could stop apologizing for being away. For leading our lives. And yet, this online world is part of our lives - a big part of my life. I seriously respect, honor, and consider as friends those who I have come to know through blogging. And I still get giddy every time I get a new follower or an "@LifeUnity" on Twitter or Facebook.

Simultaneously, my art calls. I need to keep painting, sketching, and reflecting so that my blog stays juicy and full of life. My kids call. My hubby calls.

Right now, the bed calls.

Thank you in advance for your comments. (*hint, hint*!!) I promise, I will read it and cherish it....even if I don't get back to you.
(Really. Thank you.)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

**Note: For some reason, Blogger is messed up and some comments are not showing up. I am receiving them via email though...so thank you!**

Where, oh where to begin? When transformation happens this quickly, how do I keep up with words?

I once heard a quote, "People always change. They just forget to tell one another." Hah -- well, I'm trying not to forget all of you but GEEZ...where are the words?

BIG painting, courtesy of an amazing class offered by Connie at Dirty Footprints Studio, is shaking things up ...Big time. How so?

(All of these are done on simple posterboard with either Liquitex Basics paints or Tempera paints.)

Painting. Done without thinking. Moving, my body and my soul.

Each reflects a mood, a way of being truly in the moment.

I am sensually engaged in these paintings. Even now, I can't help but run my fingers over the dried, textural paints.

They spoke to me as I was creating them, and they speak to me now.

This one? A fierce, fast, furious painting that was interrupted only by 5 minutes of strong Yoga as the black paint dried! (I had Godsmack playing and my body wasn't about to stop moving while waiting for PAINT to dry!)

I had no idea what I was creating in the process, but after the black, red, and blue paints were applied, I was told to be DONE.

Done with the painting. Don't add any more sad colors after working through the anger. Don't try to make it pretty. Done with what is no longer serving me, with people, places, thoughts, and things that don't affirm my true nature. Done with what no longer acknowledges and accepts my humanity and done with what no longer recognizes and celebrates my divinity.

Just. Done.

From here, I've kept right on going. Another painting that I plan to hang in our kiddo's room. Art Journaling that is finally looking like something that I created...instead of something that is just a copy of someone else's technique. Days that are finally turning into a life lived instead of one just intellectualized or studied or imagined or wished for....

This is my journey.

This is the beginning of something huge and the continuation of something even bigger.

Monday, July 5, 2010

This is a brief post. Why? Because I want to get back to working on my art off of the computer!!

There is SO much going on recently, lovelies, so so much.

I'm still loving Suzi Blu's class (http://suziblu.ning.com/) - I'm working through Goddess & Poet but will be signing up for others. I have found a new confidence in drawing faces and finding my girly side. Believe it or not, THAT is changing my perspective on life! Whodda thunk? (Seriously, if you have ANY inner voices calling out to try drawing faces - realistic or otherwise - check out Suzi's site! Special offers going on now...)

Here's the one I did for 4th of July...celebrating freedom.

She isn't done yet, like me. She looks a little "off", like me. She is discovering herself, opening up. There is a lot more glitter to come, a lot more depth, a lot more of her SELF.

But I'm not going to rush the process...and want to keep you updated as the changes happen.

I'm still there. I'm still swirling around, figuring out where this one is going to take me, trying to enjoy whirling around in this tornado and figuring out how to open my wings and fly instead of bouncing into the miscellaneous crap that has been brought up.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

I celebrate and honor those who came before me and those whose lives happen during my own - those who I will never know - who bravely and selflessly lived and died for my freedom.

I celebrate the fortune to have been born in a place where I can freely speak my mind and not be punished by the law for doing so.

I celebrate the freedoms I am discovering through art and releasing of shoulds.

Today so much is shifting. I have yet more awareness. An awareness of the interconnectedness of this all, of the importance of patriotism yet the neccessity of celebrating without borders, an awareness of true, honest freedom.

I am Free to Choose to be Me.

Every single day, every single moment of my life, I am free to choose how I live, what thoughts I think, how I let those choices influence the next moment.

I decided to remind myself today. (See below) When my mom saw me, she said, "Do you really need a reminder?". I thought for a moment and said gently, honestly, and with assurance - YES.