now it's coming to you, the lessons I learned won't do you any good, you've got to get burned, well the curse and the blessing they're one and the same, baby it's all such a treacherous gain

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Katrina

Katrina blew past us quickly and without doing any permanent damage. Not even a tree down. But we did lose electricity for 3 days and only today, when I could watch television again, did I begin to grasp the enormity of what this hurricane did elsewhere. I watched the news and specials this evening with increasing feelings of horror and helplessness. I covered my face and ached for these people. Then I saw an interview with a man who was sobbing and apologizing to his dogs for not just evacuating with them when he had the chance, and then I broke down and cried. My next-door neighbor, and friend, is from New Orleans and all of her family is there. Their homes are under water now. Most of them are accounted for (they left early and are staying with other relatives in northern Louisiana) but some of them neither she nor others in her family have been able to get in touch with. Are they missing? She doesn't want to think of it that way. She prefers to believe they got out early, too, and just haven't been able to, or been bothered to, get in touch with anyone. It is frightening.

And just to show how infertility has completely warped me and infiltrated every aspect of my being: when I saw the poor, frightened children on television who had been separated from their families I did wonder whether they would be available for adoption soon.***Updated to say that my neighbor's family has all been accounted for. They suffered some devastating losses to their homes and property, but all managed to evacuate before the weather got too bad, so they are counting their blessings. Some of them may be coming to stay with my neighbor for awhile.

i read offline

psalm 113 (the message)

... who can compare with God, our God, so majestically enthroned, surveying his magnificent heavens and earth? He picks up the poor from out of the dirt, rescues the wretched who've been thrown out with the trash, seats them among the honored guests, a place of honor among the brightest and best. He gives childless couples a family, gives them joy as the parents of children. Hallelujah!

a brief reproductive history

August 2008 - fifth spontaneous ovulation - very, very cautiously the p-wordApril - May 2008 - third oi with injectable fsh, second iui - not pregnantFebruary - March 2008 - natural, anovulatory cycles - not pregnantJanuary 2008 - second oi with injectable fsh, first iui - not pregnantDecember 2007 -fourth spontaneous ovulation (I think) - not pregnantNovember 2007 - laparoscopy - not pregnantOctober 2007 - ovulation induction with injectable fsh - not pregnantSeptember 2007 - third (known) spontaneous ovulation - not pregnantJuly 2007 - final clomid (150) cycle - no ovulation - not pregnantJune 2007 - second ever (known) spontaneous ovulation - not pregnantApril-May 2007 - clomid (150), delayed ovulation - not pregnantMarch 2007 - clomid (150), perfect cycle, good postcoital test - not pregnantFebruary 2007 - third clomid cycle (100), poor response - not pregnantJanuary 2007 - second clomid cycle (50), delayed ovulation - not pregnantDecember 2006 - first clomid cycle (50), good ovulation - not pregnantNovember 2006 - SA results are stellar - not pregnantOctober 2006 - first visit to RE, doubles metformin dosage - not pregnantSeptember 2006 - gyn diagnoses PCOS, recommends clomid, prescribes metformin - not pregnantNovember 2005 - I ovulate for the first (as far as I know) time - not pregnantMany Years - of charting extremely irregular cycles and mostly mellow "what will be, will be" sex and occasional panic attacks. Yes, I do now wonder what I was thinking. But in my defense, gyn was not concerned as long as I was not concerned, and told me I had "plenty of time". I hope she's right!January 1, 2000 (or 2001? I can't remember! It was so long ago), bye-bye birth control pills, hello "preconception" (I laugh) check-ups (for both of us!) and an all clear to start making babies.