Cancer is nothing when you have hope!! This site is all about living … and living well … with late-stage cancer. I hope you will journey along with me through the ups and downs of living with lung cancer.

We’re all wearing smiles

To tell you the truth, I may be preaching to the choir. When I think of my friends who are also lung cancer survivors, they all are wearing smiles. I swear they are literally some of the most optimistic and happy people I know.

Krauthammer, whether you agree with his politics or not, is a brilliant man. He has known plenty of adversity during his life. He became a quadriplegic in 1975, after a tragic diving accident. Tragedy didn’t hinder him much. He continued on with his education at Harvard, eventually graduating with a medical degree in psychiatry.

Krauthammer has led an interesting life. After graduating from medical school, he became chief psychiatry resident at Mass General. But, it wasn’t long before he left the medical field and, in 1978, joined the Carter administration where he directed planning in psychiatric research. Later, he took a job as a speechwriter for Vice President Walter Mondale.

He’s been mysteriously absent since he left Fox, with no advance word that he was taking a break. Among the newscasters, there has always been a reluctance to tell what was wrong with him. We learned he had taken a break to have some kind of surgery, but not what kind.

We knew there were problems associated with the surgery. But, we didn’t know (1) that it was surgery for cancer or (2) that he has been hospitalized ever since he had his surgery ten months ago.

Now, today, Krauthammer finally answered the questions in a heartbreaking open letter. And, while he is not ready to leave this earth, he finished his letter with the following statement:

I leave this life with no regrets. It was a wonderful life – full and complete with the great loves and great endeavors that make it worth living. I am sad to leave, but I leave with the knowledge that I lived the life that I intended.

I am very sad to learn that Krauthammer’s life is nearly over. Really took the wind out of my sails to hear the news. It is almost as if I know him. Or, maybe, I just relate to him in ways that only those of us with cancer can.

But, I hope that all of us will be fortunate enough to write such words as he did when our time is nearly over. “I leave with the knowledge that I have lived the life that I intended.” Those are very powerful words!

While there was nothing that seems all that dramatic about my conversion – I was not much of sinner at the age of 9 or so – the fact is, I, just like Paul and just like every other Christian, was saved that day from a life in hell, from a life separated from the God who made us.

So, you know, maybe my conversion was more dramatic than I sometimes think of it as being.

Not Perfect, Just Saved … and Forgiven

I haven’t lived a perfect life. Far from it. We are by nature sinners so none of us, except our Saviour Jesus Christ, has ever or will ever live a perfect life. Some come closer than others.

Over my lifetime, I have surely done things for which I am not proud. If I could, I would undo them. Of course, that’s impossible so the best I can do is ask for forgiveness. Ask for it … and accept it.

You see, I do believe God when He says He forgives me when I ask for it. If I continue to dwell on what I did wrong, am I not accepting His forgiveness? If I am forgiven, there is no longer any need at all to think about the sin, other than to keep in mind that I should never commit a similar one again.

Rocking Along

You know, for most of my life, I have just rocked along. I have known and believed with all of my heart that I am saved, a child of my God, forgiven. And always, that has provided a peace that really can’t be explained to anyone who hasn’t known the same “peace that passes understanding.”

It isn’t that my life has been particularly rosy. It has definitely been fraught with plenty of challenges. I have the wrinkles to prove it! But, you know, those challenges have not been enough to weigh me down completely because, not only has God saved me, He has been there for me through every day of my life. If I have a problem or a situation, I can hand it over to Him. Then, I can quit worrying about it. I believe in my heart of hearts, “God has it. He will take care of it.” He is way smarter than I am. He knows the “big picture” when I only see a very small part of it.

Things I Don’t Understand

There are many, many things in this life that I do not understand. I don’t understand war, poverty, biting insects, drug addicts, murderers… I don’t understand mothers who steal their children and turn them away from their loving dads. I don’t understand why everyone can’t just think like I do. Wouldn’t life be easier? (And a whole lot more boring!) Why do good people who love God face difficulties in their lives when horrid, devilish unbelievers have all of the worldly goods and fame and peace they want?

Others who are just as saved as I am don’t agree with me on some things – politics, for one. I can’t understand how they can believe as they do … they can’t understand how I can believe as I do … and yet, God loves us all and we are all His children, provided we have accepted Christ, His Son, as our Saviour.

I have to accept that there are things I will not understand until I die. When I get to Heaven, I can ask questions. I think I WILL ask questions!!

Cancer

My faith has always been there, but it became especially real to me when I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. People imagine that I freaked out at that diagnosis, especially after my first oncologist said I would probably only live about 4 months.

The truth of the matter is that I have that same peace that passes understanding as always. Yes, my days on this earth might be shorter than they would have been otherwise. But, what do I have to look forward to if and when I die? HEAVEN!!!!

Win-Win

I tell everyone … and I totally believe it … I am in a win-win situation. If I live, I am happy! I love being alive. I have so much fun, nearly every day. But, death … leaving this earth … means I transition to Heaven! Heaven! Streets of Gold. Singing. Angels. God! Peace and perfection. Wow. What is there to dread about that?