For Kimicita

I went to Aldi for the first time today. It took me two weeks to work up the courage.

(I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:

I am lame.

I don’t know what my deal is. Generally speaking, in this country I am a grade-A whiner. I hate going to new places. HATE IT. I hate eating in restaurants. I hate dealing with new people and new experiences. I have the weirdest social anxiety EVER which seems to disappear when I’m not in the United States.)

Aldi is exactly like the Dia (grocery store chain) that was by Martina and Alissa’s apartments in Segovia. I almost cried right then and there next to the dairy case. Yep. It’s true. If there had been Cola-Cao, I probably would have thrown a hissy fit.

Working in the study abroad office is both the best and the most challenging job because every day students walk in and dangle their upcoming international experiences in front of me, and I can’t go with them. I want to book a ticket to Spain right now. I want to give every student a giant hug and say “SOAK UP EVERY MILLISECOND YOU HAVE IN COUNTRY” because I know what it is like to return and to have to deal with the longing. I went to Spain FIVE YEARS AGO and still pine for it on a regular basis.

Sure, it wasn’t perfect. It messed me up. Going to Spain made me so confused that I was convinced only learning to become a missionary would fix it. But Panama and China didn’t fix it. They just made me more confused. And Denver added to that.

But Spain was so beautiful- and exactly what I needed then, even though I didn’t know it before I landed there. Spain introduced me to beautiful language, beautiful food, beautiful men (ha), and some of the best friends I could have ever asked for… especially one named Kimicita.

And now I have returned to campus. The one I so willingly left without planning to ever look back. I don’t know how to deal with it. Every day means I have to deal with the drama I didn’t like as a student. Every day means I have to make choices- and can’t ignore my faith like I have been… for a while. Every day means I’m probably going to be posting many more blog posts about this subject. 🙂

Every day means I get to see faces of students that are about to have similar experiences that I did. They have no idea what they are getting themselves into.

And I am so excited to see what happens for them. To see how studying abroad messes them up… and fixes them.