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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

I think I can offer some clarity around the seemingly misplaced numerals. The "sperm" "3" "mayo" was clearly intended for my birthday celebration, as my birthday is May 3. The sperm represents my father's contribution to my birth (nine months earlier) (since all he did during the actual birth and 24-hour labor preceding it, according to my mother, was complain about his hunger) (don't worry, 41 years later they're still happily married) (and they had six other children after me, so you see it didn't really destroy the family) (not that I recommend newly becoming fathers complaining about their own discomfort rather than focusing on that of their wife's) (but I digress).

20 de Mayo represents cinco in ternary, only it's actually seis. This is due to everything in Latin America happening "mañana."

The peppers on that last cake are actually rather well done. So well done, actually, that I wonder if they're real. Especially considering the apparent skill level of the rest of the cake decorating...

Cinco de Mayo is actually a celebration of Mexico,drippy cheese volcanoes,and margaritas. Anyone who mocks this sacred "holiday" is just trying to be El Jerko. The drippy cheese represents our drunkenness and the volcano represents a crappily done up sombrero. We all have that one weird holiday, so let's SHUT UP AND CELEBRATE!

It's been a while since cake made me throw up. After that last mess I can't say that anymore. @Sharyn ~ A new song to sing to all the new babies being born around here! SCORE!@Haiku Joy ~ I've missed you my friend!

I figured it out!!!!! Hunk of meat in the last pic is a pink SOMBRERO decorated with flowers.... a very poorly done one but that's what it is... yes that took like 15 minutes of squinting at the enlarged picture to figure out O.o I have no life.

20 de Mayo is an effort on the part of the baker to save his/her customers money. It can be used for 4 consecutive Cinco de Mayos.

On the last cake, I believe there is a head in the top corner. If so, it is a cake depicting an amply proportioned woman (with no legs) who passed out while playing maracas during a Cinco de Mayo party. Note the piñatas in the left and right corners as evidence which, I believe, depict the traditional Cinco de Mayo "rojo, amarillo y azul" frilly triceratops.

The second one is obviously an homage to legend of Xptzlptzltl as it is known in the Mayan language. It erupted in 1543 spewing hot cheese sauce all over the invading Spaniards whose only protection was to cover themselves in tortillas as they pleaded to God for mercy. Later, they found that the cheese-covered tortillas were a tasty snack to sustain them as they buried their dead. A mishearing of "el queso" and "dios" became "quesadillas." So now you know!

The sperm is obviously the reaction of someone who REALLY hates mayo (my ex is a prime example) and can wax eloquent on its white, viscous, semen-like properties. Doesn't matter that it's not that kind of Mayo. The damage is already done.

@ Sandy, now I have a Copa Cabana ear worm, oh well, before that it was Wrecking Ball, which, if you knew me, would make you shudder as much as I was...so I shall happily be stuck with Barry for the rest of the day...until I can put on some RUSH and rock out.

To me, the last one looks like a baby shower cake, with a shrunken head on the right, immediately above the pair of wonky boobies, next the bump, above splayed feet wearing multicolored shoes. so perhaps it is a cake symbolizing the birth of Mexico?

I'm pretty sure in the last wreck they confused a KENTUCKY DERBY HAT with a SOMBRERO!!! Or had a left over Kentucky Derby hat cake and tried to recycle I!!! lol Either option is unacceptable to Mexican culture!! lol Now pass me my Margarita!!!

I know I'm late to the party but yesterday was actually my birthday and I was busy eating not wrecked chocolate cake! As a May 5th birthday girl, I've gotten a couple themed cakes and I think I know what that last cake is. Sometimes the stars align and calendar days collide as a result, Cinco de Mayo and the Kentucky Derby are the same day. That's a derby hat (maybe) or totally a lump of undigested meat.

These cakes are pretty funny. But, I am sad that there are some commentators who want to stereotype the Mexican Culture as sombreros, tacos and margaritas. There is so much more to it than that. But, I doubt any of them bothered to even look up what Cinco de Mayo is.