Question submitted via Formspring:
My husband and I are separated and “trying” to work it out – although it is very one sided. Sometimes I fear that if things were to work out, I won’t feel comfortable being intimate with him anymore…like a bond has been broken. Can it be repaired?

Even though you haven’t said it here, it seems like there was some form of infidelity involved that caused your separation; since he is trying to work it out (i.e. make it up to you), and you still care enough to try. Yet the trust has been breached too much to be willing to be intimate now.

Two things:
First, forgive him. Forgiving him doesn’t mean whatever he did was OK. All forgiveness means is you are giving up whatever negativity you still hold in your heart towards him and/or the situation; it’s a gift you give to *yourself *, not to him.

Secondly, you have to be willing to start from absolute scratch. Whatever happened, or if there wasn’t a ‘thing’ at all but you’ve just grown apart; either way your old relationship is dead. The covenant has been broken, and can not be reformed.

If you are going to have a future of any sort, you would have to wipe the slate absolutely clean and begin at the beginning. Go out on dates for a while before you move back in together, so you can decide if you even want to be together anymore.

And, when the dust settles, if you are done, you are done. If you have been hurt too badly to get past it, if you can forgive him but not forget it, then your relationship may truly be at it’s end. He can apologize all he wants, but somethings once they are broken can not be repaired.

If you look into your heart you know which one it is: start from scratch or move on. Here is a previous article on how to let go of someone that can help you make that transition, if that’s your choice. Keep us posted on how it turns out.

What do you think she should do? Feel free to comment down below!

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B. Dave Walters

B. Dave Walters is like a mix between Joel Osteen, Tony Robbins, and the Old Spice Guy.

He is the winner of the "Be the Next Beleifnet Featured Blogger" contest for Beliefnet.com in the Hope & Inspiration category.

He is also the host of Rise UP with B. Dave Walters on Party 93.4 FM out of Hudson Valley, New York, as well as a nationally syndicated columnist on the topics of spirituality and relationships for the Examiner.com.
He is the author of one book, "49 Lost Secrets of Peace, Love, and Money".

For years, friends and relatives looked to him for guidance and support during difficult times, and he realized at an early age that his purpose in life was to serve and inspire.

While touring as a personal coach with a prominent rock band, he was discovered by one of the top trainers of the Anthony Robbins companies, which lead to him settling down to open and operate a Marketing, Business Services and Coaching firm in Los Angeles.

Armed with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he brings the same discipline and determination that helped him earn Black Belt rankings in Shaolin Kung Fu and Tai Chi to all areas of study and focus.

In addition to earning a degree in English from Morehouse College, he has mastered the science of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and other communication, healing, counseling and spiritual systems from all over the world.

He brings his empathy, insight, and vast personal experience into all his relationships, which has lead to him being one of the most sought after Coaches in the world today.