Our harvest

Here is a reminder to all who participated, and to others who are curious, of our experience and learnings during the Art of Hosting training in Gunnedah, 28-30 May 2018 - our collective memory. ​Thank you to all of us who contributed to this harvest - writers, speakers, photographers, drawers, interviewers, participants and hosts.

Reflecting on our first day

Day one of the Art of Hosting training, I felt quite insecure when I walked in.

We were greeted by a circle of chairs with some plant/tree life in the centre the circle. When I first sat down I was very unsure of how it was all going to be, but we were offered a talking piece and asked to share a little about ourselves. It was our choice whether to speak or leave it until we felt more comfortable. We were asked to help make it a safe place with no judgement. I felt we all took a great leap that first check in. We placed an object that was special to us in the middle of the circle, and spoke about what we each bring. I brought with me my cultural background.

Our next activity involved choosing someone we were not familiar with to go for a walk and speak with them (Dialogue walk). But, we were timed and for the first 15 minutes, only 1 person was allowed to speak while the other person listened, with no head nodding speaking back or answering questions etc.

I found this quite hard at first, as I was the first speaker. I found it hard to talk about myself for 15 minutes uninterrupted. Once my time was finished and the other person started speaking, I found it hard to not interrupt, as I had similar experiences and wanted to talk more about it.

It was a great exercise and felt it was very beneficial to just listen, and I was able to share so much with a stranger. I picked a great partner and felt we have had very similar life experiences.

A lot of the afternoon consisted of team building in our own little community and understanding the reasons we have all come together for this training.

We moved into World Café where we were split up into groups of 4 and we had 3 questions to answer, all relating to collaboration. I felt this exercise helped us all connect a bit more and we worked as a team to get some insights into the questions. I enjoyed this exercise as I felt we all worked well as a team.

That afternoon we were asked to sit in circle again and we were asked a question of what we are taking away from the first day of training. When it came to my turn I said I felt I had made a connection with all of people there, and was excited to come the next day to see what was in store. ​Thanks, Meagan ☺

What are we learning about collaborating with purpose?

Intentional space

Be clear in language

Self-belief

Balance

We must take the time to clarify our purpose, mission, vision, need, before we jump to invite!

Walking between chaos and order​

Focussing on clarifying and preparation as I would jump straight into actions

Presence

Holding the space

Use language to invite what you want

Support​

The collective harvest of our World Cafe conversation on collaboration:​Barriers

Control

Same people collaborating (no-one self interested)

Silo in disguise

Inhibited by lack of transparency

Failure to include the voices of the people we serve

Features

Energy

Living system

Networking - connecting up

Multi-level

Looks like our meetings

Inclusive culture

Relationships

Respect

Diversity

Trusting others

Exposing power

Self awareness

Enter with no agendas

Leave mind open to suggestions

Be assertive

Being open with invitation and being okay with 'no'

Stop talking & listen!

Shift negative mindset

Good emotional state. Satisfied

Speak up but know when to shut up!

From idea to action

Leave assumptions at the door

Purpose

Knowing our shared purpose leads to understanding the needs and wants of all and to sharing of all gifts

Clarity

Builds

Positive

Reflection

Decide to do it!

OUR PLAYLIST

Inspired by Beck's check-in on Day 2: What song represents the soundtrack of your life?

Triads: an experience of Appreciative Inquiry

Tell about a time when you stepped up with courage. ​What made that possible?

​Resilience

Self-worth

Confidence

Being where we are meant to be in that moment, but maybe not knowing it yet

Just do it. Be a dog with a bone

Putting it in perspective

​Purpose with passion

Self-awareness

Preparation

Acceptance & grace

Knowing, speaking & acting your truth

Passion, love

Self-belief

Support

Capacity

​Self-belief (even when it’s scary)

Values set

Knowing who you are – owning it

Triads reflection: A host's perspective

Had we explained the process properly? Did everyone understand? Did they know the role of the witness? Did I even understand it? Too late now, everyone had organised into their group of three and set off to share their stories of courage.

I looked out at the groups on the verandah - lots of nodding, open body language, all a good sign. Or just a sign that we had all been well trained in active listening? No-one survives in community services without learning the value of a sympathetic nod and a neutral expression. Gradually, there is a shift.

Peals of laughter float across the lawn from one group. They later report sharing stories of isolation, but in this moment are unified in joy. I walk past a perfectly arranged triangle of chairs, each occupant has their head bowed as if in prayer. I quickly move past to avoid interruption, I think I saw some tears. Moving among the groups I overhear snippets of stories, some carefully edited to be palatable, some disclosures that would be inappropriate in any other context, but mostly the feelings. The ‘I’ statements we use so carefully in our working lives seemed to flow unconsciously as people told their stories, ‘I felt…’.

The bells toll and everyone trails back to circle. They walk a little closer to each other; more trusting, more comfortable, more vulnerable. Sharing a story of courage has allowed the group to be brave.

Kate​

A participant's perspective

We were asked to get into groups of 3 of people we have not had much time with. We found our own safe place to discuss a situation in our life when we got through because of courage.

One person was the storyteller, one was the listener and the other was the witness. I realised we had all quite different stories, but one thing was that we didn’t feel we were supported and felt we fought alone, with courage.

It was very eye opening to have to discuss quite a private story with two people I didn’t know much about. But I realised they have their own stories and situations and there was no judgement. I felt a great sense of connection with these two girls after sharing our stories.

Meagan​

Open Space: What conversations do we need to have now to invite better collaboration?

Here are the questions and topics called during Open Space, and a harvest template for the conversations.

How can we prepare/prioritise fundraising and awareness activities in the shire? Sewa

What’s the smallest thing we can do to make an impact? Mel

How can we make space for our voice when we hold no power? Sarah

How can we bring collaboration to life in the Roundtable? Kate

What does collaboration between the arts and community look like? Lauren

How do we step back to re-establish the purpose of collaboration? Jarrad

The opportunity for open feedback and ability to hear perspectives from those not attached to the project

Differentiating feedback & input from the core team

Gunnedah: You're dancing

Mel​Next wise steps

Invite core team

Call core team meeting

Practice participatory design

What am I grateful for?

Help and inspiration

Energy and enthusiasm

Insight, learning and clarity​

How to make Gunnedah Cultural Precinct open

Lauren​Next wise steps

Develop and attract a Cultural Precinct Working group to help create a diverse voice

Begin to embody and project the theme of ‘our stories’

Have a develop a construct for a harvest > create a cultural plan for CPWG to deliver

Develop clarity (work on it) and inviting language

What am I grateful for?

The courage for people to share ideas and invest their passion into the call

‘Our stories’ and their importance and celebration

The space we have and the appreciation people have to make it open. Appreciation of the space as it is = clarity​​

Design a youth drop-in centre

Gaye​Next wise steps

Have project chart drawn up for presentation to stakeholders

Gather the team, and gather volunteers

Plan the event

Draw up timeline for the event

Market event

What am I grateful for?

Help in setting focus and a way forward

Wisdom and experience of wisdom council

A plan with next steps

Clear goals and focus eg: for young people by young people

Helping to establish project plan that will impress department heads​

Our check out: What am I willing to commit to now?

Staying (in my community)

My project and connecting up with project hosts. Take this a bit slower and concentrate on preparation

Bring this practice into spaces

Dedicated to the idea of collaboration and our collective story. It’s just the start and I’m willing to be part of that

To put into practice self-hosting and use these tools

Capture the voice of the people we serve

Plans to incorporate into our work and evolve our service and support

To continue and to test the collaboration waters (with the project with Sewa)

Continue to learn more. Not just assume. Continue to grow

To keep going. I don’t know where and I’m kind of excited. Taking this stuff with me​

​To collaborating with purpose – to following this path

Continuous improvement

Trying to break down resistance to collaboration and jadedness that creeps in and that starts with me

To make every meeting and group purposeful

To continue to go wherever the genuine call and invitation shows up. Keep this question with me

Collaboration with Gaye, Mel and others – seeing their passion

To growth, whatever that may be, and to bring it into my everyday life

Deepening my practice along the Chaordic path and supporting you all

Collaborate with purpose and planning well

To stay in deep collaboration, especially when it gets tough. To be compassionate with myself and others in that space.​

Day 3 was by far my favourite day!

In groups of 4, we worked on projects that will benefit the Gunnedah community, and learned how we can work as a team to get the ball rolling. I was part of a project hosted by Gaye to create a youth centre in Gunnedah.

There is such a need, and I could see Gaye’s passion. As I work with children I felt this was the most beneficial place for me to be. We discussed ways of inviting young people in to co-create what it could be. We also spent some time offering support and advice to other projects, in peer coaching.

The (hosting team) should be very proud of what they achieved. I will be using the skills I have learned in this training in my everyday life, and feel I made great connections with a lot of the people that came together for this training. Keep up the good work

Thanks, Meagan ​

A personal reflection...

I learned I need to be a better listener and be able to remain in the groan zone, instead of jumping straight into action. That’s not how you find the gold or solve anything.

Also - being in circle and bringing intention. When I did this, I did exactly what I said I was going to do. ​I said I was going to listen and be an observer and that’s exactly what happened. Spooky!

Thanks, Jen

Stealth hosting

How can we find ways to host in challenging spaces? A Knowledge Cafe conversation with Mel, Beck, Gaye, Robyn, Tracey, Meagan, SarahInsights

It takes time

Look for the cracks of light, and follow them

Four fold practice – how am I showing up?

It’s in how we show up every day – that has an impact and people notice

Look for opportunities, and be patient. Right people, right place, right time

Questions

How am I going to create a space of awesomeness for my meetings?

How could church be more fun? What keeps you coming back?

Takeaway

I am chair of the school P&C. I can do it differently, starting with a check-in.

More planning and the right moment

I’m ready to have a crack

Just chill

Just bring questions to my board – start asking questions

More self-awareness

What's one thing you will take away from this training and implement immediately?

AHA moments

Reality vs Humanity

Go slow to go fast > back to beginning

The plan and language matters – be understood by any observer

It’s okay to get lost when you have a map

Do more of what works and less of what doesn’t

Relationship gets stuff done (VITAL)

Ask a question – instead of just ‘telling’

Embrace safe-to-fail experiments

Take a step out of your control and see what emerges

Extra resources

Privilege and power

A reflection by Kate Mackley, inspired by an Open Space conversation

We came together for three days to contemplate the question ‘What becomes possible when we collaborate with purpose?’, and over the three days we delved into this question at length, exploring it from many angles and providing a range of possible answers. Amidst our discussion, another question emerged, a subtle challenge that ran parallel to the question that called us. It is the question of privilege.

As we parroted all the accepted terms of ‘inclusion’, ‘diversity’ and ‘access’, it became impossible to ignore the fact that once again, the voices we needed to listen to were not present in the conversation. Those that were vital to any notion of inclusion were once again excluded. This was not intentional, the invitation was open to all, but this was the reality. Our presence in the conversation was a direct result of our privilege. We could afford the training, access the information, held the professional status that justified membership to a group of people who may well be strangers, and have the capacity to participate. By engaging in discussion of how to improve access to spaces we occupy, of how to promote diversity in the groups we hold, we made a silent admission of out own privilege - we already belong.

When privilege emerged as a focal point of conversation we were all quick to own it, to verbally tick the boxes of privilege we occupy. Heterosexual. Neurotypical. Employed. Educated. White. Middle class. Able bodied. Male. Almost apologetically, we admitted our lack of intersectionality, our lack of diversity, our lack of barriers and obstacles, our lack of appreciation for the way good fortune has delivered us to the table to discuss the fortune of others.

When it came time to examine how the privilege we hold directly contributes to the systemic oppression and exclusion of others, suddenly we were less keen on ownership. We wanted to occupy the magical territory of ‘ally,’ to keep the privilege bestowed on us while maintaining the rhetoric of change. Other people, the system, the patriarchy and the government are to blame, not us. When faced with a challenge to our entitlement, we looked to the entitlement of others. We explored how straight white men can use their power to challenge their power. We discussed the resources at our disposal, the resources we manage, and how they may be shared. We never questioned our right to be the ones managing them.

We didn’t completely ignore the ways we are complicit in perpetuating disenfranchisement, we acknowledged the need to ‘stay in our lane’ and create space for those who are currently marginalised to occupy, and voiced the need to create a ‘rising tide to lift all boats’ in the pursuit of equality. We try. We committed to trying harder.

Just as judgement cannot live where curiosity thrives, entitlement cannot take root where gratitude flourishes. We cannot undo the privilege we hold, and when many of those privileges represent incremental cultural shifts, we should not want to. We can, however, acknowledge our privilege and be grateful. My education undoubtedly affords a level of privilege, but that education would not be possible if it weren’t for all the woman before me, who not only won the right to an education, but created the expectation that I, and women like me, would exercise that right. Feminism has granted me opportunities to work and study regardless of my shifting roles of mother, single mother and wife. My current experience of being pregnant is not coupled with an expectation that I should be barefoot and in the kitchen. My role as a public servant is not dependant on my marital status. The privileges bestowed on me, and the power inherent in all privilege, is nothing more than a lottery of access and opportunity, for which I am grateful.

I implore us, collectively and individually, to replace any guilt we hold for having privilege with gratitude, to replace entitlement with appreciation, and commit to creating space for representation, inclusion and diversity. We can use our privilege and power, however small, to create access and opportunity. We can be allies in the active sense, engaged and purposeful. Together, we can create cultural change at a local level. We can pioneer. We can plant the seeds of diversity and we can harvest the fruits of our predecessors' labour. Access and opportunity are the basis of all privilege, and we will extend it to all. ​

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