Text Games: The Squared Circle - RPGs versus Pro Wrestling

by Tony Celentano

When you think of role playing games, pro wrestling probably isn't the first thing to come to mind. We have to remember, however, that these athletes are portraying fantasy characters. Pro wrestling is essentially LARPing (Live Action Role Play), presented as 'real' for entertainment value. I haven't watched it recently, but as a child I was a big fan of pro wrestling. The flashy high-flying moves, the iconic larger-than-life roleplay characters - everything an adolescent male connects with!

The early days of wrestling gave us often exaggerated and outlandish character personalities that fans were able to get behind. Roleplay storylines back then were simple, it was Good Guy vs Villain. Iconic names like Hulk Hogan, the Ultimate Warrior and Roddy Piper were legends because they had a fascinating ability to convince the audience they were real, in every sense of the word. I think it was an Uncle who shattered the illusion for me one day, but I'd like to think I came away with a better understanding of the roleplay universe. I think a list is in order, so I present the 5 roleplay trends online text rpgs share with pro wrestling.

1: Make a Dramatic Entrance

One popular wrestler known as 'The Undertaker' had the habit of appearing out of thin air - or rather, the lights in the arena would cut out, and he'd be standing in the middle of the ring when they came back on. Combined with his "dead man walking" roleplay character, this had a chilling effect as his sudden appearance could only spell disaster for whoever was in the ring with him. IRE text games have many skills that let you make a dramatic entrance on your opponents. From dropping out of the sky screaming "DEATH FROM ABOVE!" to being carried to your targets location on a prismatic beam of light, online role playing games offer a multitude of ways to get the jump on your enemies.

2: Wear Facepaint

If you're looking to intimidate an opponent in your favourite text rpg game, consider picking up warpaint and applying it to your text game character's face. Some of the most memorable superstars roleplayed characters who wore fully painted faces. The pros of text game warpaint, however, is that it doesn't smudge off during a long, grueling arena spar, unlike the cosmetic stuff used by wrestlers.

3: Have a Cool Finisher

While you won't find a Stone Cold Stunner in IRE online roleplaying games, you will find a unique instakill for every class. And like the bodyslam that comes before the leg drop, you have multiple ways to prep your opponent for the final blow that seals the deal. Just like a well roleplayed wrestling match, text game combat can be an exciting back and forth battle. It's not uncommon for text game players to crowd around two high-profile online text game characters duelling it out, whilst cheering for their favourite!

4: Smack Talk Your Rivals

Some wrestlers were known for their gift of gab, the ability to threaten, ridicule and taunt their opponents in a way that the crowd responded to. The same rings true for text games, in that some characters are known for their ability to completely dress someone down in a public forum! If you have a text game rival, be sure to brush up on your trash talking skills, then call them out on the public boards. Many combat-oriented players enjoy trash talk if it's fun and mature, but avoid flying off the handle with rage if you're the sore loser type. Particularly hilarious tantrums might be logged for future 'lulz' and passed around.

5: Have a Ganksquad

When all else failed, the villain wrestlers had their very own ganksquad to beat down opponents in the middle of the ring. Children in the audience could only look on in tears as the good guy was outnumbered, and that pretty much describes your victims reaction as he watches his text game character be smacked around by multiple assailants. Of course, you'll want to watch his rebounding aura, or that steel chair - erm battleaxe, might swing back and hit you in the face instead!

This brought backa lot of memories of watching wrestling as a kid. I was a huge fan of Hulk Hogan as a kid.

And, whether we like to admit it or not many of our IRE fighters are very much like these characters we see portrayed in wrestling. I like the Undertaker description, especially. And I've known a few fighters where they just seem to show up in this way. But somehow maybe it is a little bit more like one of the Ur'Vampires, or Kemnast. Usually if those guys come in...their appearance is quite...dramatic...

I've always thought it was so amazing that so many individuals from so many backgrounds, and places around the world, have still managed to find a common interest in the games offered by Iron Realms. I love seeing the articles that shine light on the parallels that make us such a diverse community. In fact, you too can write articles for Iron Realms!

I have to object to number three, as that's simply not true. The Nekotai's skill to 'kill' is neither instant, nor really a threat. Its simply advanced crotamine and - what, you just sipped antidote? Oh, Ok problem solved. In order to prvent the target from sipping you have to slitlock them (And really, thats not even sure on account of Green/Gedulah) and then Finalsting, If you're lucky enough to keep the target there, prevent the from moving, and you don't suffer any balance or momentum loss. There are gigantic downsides to Finalsting that make it completely not worth using.

Most people take PK too seriously in text games. You don't emote a dramatic entrance, because that would take away your 'edge' and you might lose. You don't go for the flashy finisher, you just go for whatever works best.

Nothing says fun like getting attacked by 5 people. It creates such a great environment when you lose hours or days of work killing things before you even have a chance to draw your sword. Let's encourage this sort of behavior that so clearly sums up the atmosphere of Achaea so well.

Oh, as a girl who seldom watched TV I wasn't much of a fan of pro wrestling, but all the boys in my class damn loved it. They imitated the wrestlers all the time whenever they had free time at school, trying to knock over each other while the girls were watching skeptically.

How were they all so disappointed when they realised that it was all roleplay!

Likening a mid-evil style game to the stupidity of pro wrestling cultivates the type of game play that ruins RPGs. You are supposed to think like a Noble knight loyal to a fortified city that is the last hope for your people to live in a civilized manner. Not a gangster or redneck that rolls around with a "ganksquad". With that being said it is more fun to roleplay a goon than a good guy.

Just as Mysterio's legs batter you in the head, he smoothly transitions his form, allowing his momentum to lock his shins against your neck. Skillfully, he twists your neck, forcing you to spin in place, before bringing you down with a hurricanrana slam.

Don't know about the other IRE games but Achaea has bookies! Imagine getting some chump to bet on the outcome of a predetermined pro wrestling match. Maybe sweeten the deal with like 20 to 1 odds or higher. Then again people with any sense would bet on the sure thing.

Great article, made me laugh almost as much as the comments of people with no sense of humour.