Taylor Swift Wants to Get Married by The End of The Year

Most of you should know by now that I will never pass up an opportunity to talk about Taylor Swift. And these past few months, what with the grand addition of her high school junior boyfriend, Conor Kennedy? I’m in heaven. I’m in catty gossip heaven.

And that is why, with warm, fuzzy feelings, I’d like to present to you this story from the Enquirer (via Celebitchy) all about how Taylor wants to elope (still) in her grand mission to become another Mrs. Kennedy:

Taylor Swift is hatching a secret plan to elope to Las Vegas with her 18-year-old boy-toy Conor Kennedy – and as soon as she gets hitched, she intends to get pregnant, say sources. Swift is so impatient to make Kennedy her last name, she’s aiming to say “I do” before the year’s end, the sources add.

“Taylor has made up her mind that Conor is the man she was meant to marry,” an insider tells The Enquirer. “She doesn’t want to wait any longer. Taylor has told him he can put off college for now and become a full-time dad.”

Already, the smitten singer can’t bear being apart from Conor. Recently, Swift flew to Massachusetts to be with her soulmate as he was starting his junior year at Deerfield Academy. On September 15, they went antiquing… with an eye towards marriage.

“They were browsing for the kinds of things they’d like to put in their love nest,” said the source. “Taylor’s absolutely obsessed with the idea of becoming a ‘Kennedy Wife’. It can’t happen soon enough. She’s excitedly talking about tying the knot in Las Vegas before the end of the year.”

I definitely believe that Taylor wants to marry Conor as soon as possible, and that she also wants to get pregnant as soon as possible. I definitely believe that she’s convinced herself it’s a good idea to marry a boy who is a junior in high school. I definitely believe that she’d tell him something like “you can put off college to be a full-time dad.” But I’m not sure that I believe this story. It’s just the Las Vegas part, something about that doesn’t seem right. It seems to me like Taylor would demand a huge fancy wedding, with the fluffiest, whitest dress, and with all the Kennedys in attendance.

But then again, there are those rumors that a lot of Conor’s family members don’t care for Taylor, so she could be planning to whisk him away to Vegas to get things done quickly. And, after all, she’d be a Kennedy either way.

Oh, definitely not! I’d be very much surprised if Conor himself wasn’t in the “having a fling” mode to impress his buddies at the high school. At his age, it must be an astronomical ego boost to be able to tell your friends,”Yeah, so what you’re making it with the head cheerleader? I’m banging Taylor Swift!” It’s not really different from screwing, say, Marilyn Monroe, like Uncle Jack! Taylor better pull her head out, because she would have better luck marrying the Pope!

After years of chasing older men and then publicly airing out her foolish dirty laundry, Taylor has finally discoverepleat it is so many older jerks end up dating someone so young and therefore dumb. They are easy to control. So the stupid little girl grows up to be the thing she claims to hate most.