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Two of my friends are getting close to heading down the aisle in a few months and I am so excited for the two of them. I was looking back on how they got together and thought that it was wonderful how something unexpectedly good can come of something so basic.

They met at work. She is a single mother of two. He is a player, younger than her by a couple of years. It started out as a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement and then six months into the relationship, they realize that there is much more to things. Feelings are involved… Jealousy… Missing each other when away… So why not make this permanent and now they are living together. Two years later and the kuhingira will be in December, wedding in 2013.

Now what inspired all this was a conversation I had with them today morning. We were discussing with madam how her son (8 years old) and daughter (5 years old) need to have an outing with my one and only Rhys (soon to be 7 years old). And then mister says, ‘Are you trying to hook up my daughter with your son?!’ with all the protectiveness of a biological father. Now, for many, that will seem normal. But the thing is this, she is not his biological daughter, but he already considers her to be ‘his’ daughter with no questioned asked. And for him it seemed so natural like she has been his since birth. I wanted to hug him so hard but all I did was grin for you need to know how to handle Bakiga men at certain points X.

To all the men and women who are being real wonderful parents to their step children or adopted children, you are to be celebrated world over. May God continuously and richly bless you for what you do is humbling.

I was traveling in a taxi recently with my cousin when he received a call from his long lost friend. He was so excited that the Mukiga in him couldn’t hold back. He was so loud that the driver had to park and wait for him to finish receiving the call.

The other passengers started releasing a barrage of words that were anti-Bakiga. The conductor cemented it by wondering whether we were also created in the same image of God. Just so you know, we Bakiga were fearfully and wonderfully created.

Fearfully because we don’t have time to gossip – we beat. Actions speak louder than words wonderfully because we speak the truth. A spoon is a spoon not a small spade. Bakiga are not like other tribes that say Kankomewo, (I will be back shortly), and they don’t come back. If a Mukiga tells you that they are coming back then start preparing food for they live by their word. If a Mukiga tells you ‘nda kwasha’ for I will beat you, please get on your heels before he finishes saying it.

To set the record straight, Bakiga are not rude or vulgar. They are just putting their language to use. You will never find parables in Kigezi. They don’t have time to confuse the folk.

They say Bakiga are loud but what do you expect from people born and raised in mountains where you have to amplify your voice to communicate with someone up the mountain? If airtime was charged according to how loud the caller is, Bakiga would be dead broke.

Bakiga are the most romantic people. They don’t waste time wooing and raising false expectations. They will tell you straight in the face, from the word go, that they love you. If you don’t love them then leave. If you expect a Mukiga to plead with you for a second chance, like Salvador, just know that’s a dream.

Most Bakiga are disease resistant. You will hardly hear that there was a disease outbreak in Kigezi. The kids get one injection their entire lifetime – immunization. This is entirely because of a balanced diet. A kid wakes up to fresh potatoes with a mug of bushera. Three sips and the cup is done. There is no such word like “lack of appetite” in Kigezi.

We are the hardest working people. That’s why every strong man is referred to as Kyakabale even if he’s a Musoga. Our ladies are very hard working too which other tribes misinterpret as being aggressive. They reason logically. Why buy a bouquet of flowers when that money can equally buy a sack of Irish potatoes?

We are independent minded. You can’t expect a mukiga to be at your beck and call. That’s why most of the ‘rebel’ MPs are Bakiga. We live a free life. No wonder there is nothing like Kigezi kingdom. The king would suffer because every Mukiga is a king in their own right.

I salute all Bakiga because the last population census revealed that Bakiga were multiplying at a fast rate. They are doing this in fulfillment of the scriptures – go multiply and fill the world. We have the best family planning method. You can’t get pregnant when you are pregnant.

I think almost everyone, especially the ladies, have had a girlfriend (friend, sister, cousin, female relative) who has a boyfriend/ husband who mistreats her in one form or another. And despite all that you say, she still stays with him. The song Girlfriend by Pebbles is dedicated to all those ladies especially Mrs. Ryan Giggs who really needs to take a walk with her head held up high from him like Cheryl Cole and Elin Nordegren did. The younger generation like Heaven and Antipop probably have no clue who Pebbles is but she is a singer who was a hit in the 80’s and 90’s. My sister introduced me to her music which I still like.

When listening to the song recently it made me think of a cousin who was battered by the father of her children and after seeking refuge with us from him after a beating, for something like confronting him about his cheating, would still willingly go back to him when he came looking for her. Eventually she did see the light and threw him out ma proper. We need to see the light from the get go and not a number of broken bones/ hearts later. This is well described in this song…

To believe Or not to believe That is the question It just takes a street degree You’ve lied your last lie And I’ve cried my last cry I’m out the door, babe There’s other fish in the sea

Girl, make a list Go out and find yourself a new bad thing Girl, you need a trip ‘Cause he’s not worth the misery and pain Just remember how he would tell you lies And then pretend that everything is so sweet Why should you sacrifice If you’re not satisfied He’s just a canine runnin’ ’round in heat

Girlfriend How could you let him treat you so bad, oh Girlfriend You know you were the best he ever had, oh, oh, oh Girlfriend How could you let him treat you so bad, oh Girlfriend You know you were the best he ever had, oh, oh, oh

Girl, you must resist Don’t let him squirm his way into your heart No, girl, I must insist You’ve got to stop the fool before he starts Just remember how he was so untrue With all the tacky things he did to you No need to signify ‘Cause he’s not worth your time You need to find someone that’s true to you

Rhys made a joke this past Wednesday night and I was impressed. He had a collision with the neighbour’s door that evening, which unfortunately is metallic and this left a bump on his head. Later on at night when I was putting him to bed, he says

“Mommy, I need to cover my head for if ants find this bump on my head they might think it is an ant hill!”

I’ve been going through a number of things, the kind of things that sometimes leave one feeling all alone in a very large crowded world. Pastor Joel Osteen’s words of encouragement always lift me up and give me hope that even if I may be feeling that way, the Good Lord still cares and is still in my corner despite everything. Thought I would share this… for anyone who may also need the encouragement…

“No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit”
(Ephesians 3:20, NIV)

When was the last time you imagined God doing something supernatural in your life? Is there a relationship that needs restoration? Is there a business you’ve wanted to start, but you are holding back? If there were no limitations on your life, if anything were possible, what would you be willing to imagine?

Friend, the only limits on your life are the limits you have in your mind, and God wants to do exceedingly more than you can even imagine today! He wants to overwhelm you with His goodness and amaze you with His faithfulness. But in order for Him to exceed what you’ve imagined, you have to at least be imagining something! Why don’t you take a step of faith today and let your imagination come to life? Begin to see in your mind all the possibilities for your future. Meditate on the amazing things God has done throughout history. Let that seed of faith take root in your heart. Hold on to His promises because He is faithful. He is able to exceed your expectations and go beyond what you can imagine today!

… a really long while. And I have missed blogger. And I have been given some stick for being away for long. I guess this Mommy has been busy and having some form of blogger block 🙂 But I am back, did you miss me?

Well Rhys has had loads happening in his life. He is getting independent minded at a fast rate and learning loads. He can now really read sentences. Even write his long full name and proudly says all 5 parts of his name. He has been coming home with little gifts like sweets for beng the best at school for one thing or the other. Like in reading. When I had a few days off from work a couple of weeks ago, I went to his school to speak to the teachers and basically check on him. His headmistress was singing his praises which causes every parent to swell with pride. And while I was there, my baby boy managed to put a smile on my face, actually a grin. Once he realised that I was in the headmistress’ office, he started to bring his friends to meet me. I was at first puzzled by the increasing number of children coming out of the blue to say hello to me and then I heard him outside the office telling one child to ‘go and inside and say hello to my mother.’ Basically he was showing me off. Rhys is proud of his Momma. Yes, even we like to know that we are accepted by our children.

These days the sport that I am feeling is Bowling. Despite it having been introduced in Uganda a couple years back, I hadn’t tried it out. A couple of moths ago, we were having a send off party for a workmate and chose to have it at Alleygators. We were made to team up and play and it was so much fun. So now I try to go bowling at least once a month. My girlfriends have been dragged into this ofcourse and so will Rhys soon. Would anyone like to challenge me?

Yesterday evening I saw a young lady with a weave that had some blue hair in it. A bit strange, I know. One of my friends loved to briad her hair with blond and red extensions which combined with her black hair would make it a black, yellow and red compilation. This would make her head a walking Ugandan flag.

This got me thinking of the crazy stuff I wanted to do as a teenager.

Wear a black wedding dress. White just seemed so boring since almost every bride wears it.

Get green contact lenses because they supposedly looked cool. That can be partially be blamed on the many novels that I was reading at the time. The redreal bheads with the green eyes were most of the time the special ladies who were considered real beauties. This led me to also yearning to dye my hair auburn (which I will one day do).

Study astronomy and become an astronaut. This one isn’t so bad for many children dream of becoming astronauts. I actually applied to a number of universities for this and got accepted to some really good ones but I wasn’t able to go.

Hormones can really work on a teenager’s common sense! I will have to remember that when Rhys gets to that strange age of change and starts to do the weirdest of things and ideas. And I imagine that with boys it can actually be worse. May God help us all!

My baby boy can be so good for my well being for he has a way of making my heart swell with joy and so much love with smallest of things.

On Monday evening, when I got home after a hard day’s work, I was relaxing on the sofa with Rhys watching some television. All of sudden he breaks out in song while pointing at me,

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away”

I felt so special.

And then there are instances when I am in the room getting ready to go out while he is tinkering around with stuff or playing on the bed when out of the blue he says,

“Mommy you are very beautiful.”

Or, he is on the floor looking for something when he ends up close to my feet and says,

“Mommy you have nice toes.”

One time my sister heard him say that and tried to solicit a compliment from him by asking, “what about mine?”. He answered with a resounding, NO. My baby boy can be so good for my ego.

In other news:

Today is a wonderful day. I got to the office about 25 minutes late and when I explained to my boss the problem which was very nasty traffic jam (the truth), she says sorry! I almost fainted in surprise, for this is from someone who can scream her lungs at someone for walking in at 8.02am in the morning and yet there were supposed to be in by 8.00am. God has worked miracles in this office!

I am a 40D. For y’all who are of the male species and have no clue what I am on about, that is a bra size. Yeah, I know it is a large bust. Once upon a time it was a 36C, it seems like such a while back and in those days I used to think it was huge. When I would hear of people being able to get ‘reductions’ done, I would wish that it was affordable for some of us… and then it goes and gets bigger!

But that is not what I want to bitch about. Peeps with big boobs are not taken care of in our beloved country. Yes, my issue is about not being able to get good bras my size. The shops/ stores where it it ispossibleto get them, the prices are for world cup! When Mr. Price opened, I thought my prayers were answered for I didn’t have to ask my friends who were in outside contries to get for me some. When I checked their store out, there was a variety in different designs and colours which totally suits me so I was determined to be one of their regular customers for the lingerie. So some time last month I went there armed to the teeth with dimes to get some lingerie, specifically the bras. I zeroed in on the various designs that I wanted but on checking for my size, there is nada except some ugly non-underwired ones! And the sales chick tells me,

“Sorry madam. Very many customers have complained but ‘they’ have not done anything so far.”

So I ask her if there is hope of bringing some in the larger sizes and she says that possibly at the end of the month. I haven’t gone back to check for knowing Ugandans, they will most likely be there some time during Christmas.

I have the same problem with Enka Rasha in Garden City. There are some lovely bras there but the largest is a 34 C.Why are they all hating on the big busted chicks?! This is Africa, we are naturally richly endowed! They better recognize!