[QUOTE=dwd36;7431528]I have checked her phone. No unknown numbers or texts. Unless she deletes them immediately.

Hi, I'm not sure if you're aware of the fact that there are softwares out there that can retrieve deleted texts and whatsapp chats. Also viber's. There's more than one, just try to google it, but I have used dr.fone to find out my husband's cheating episodes of more than 2 years ago.
I would do it for peace of mind, and hopefully it's just your imagination but if it's not then you can make an informed choice and stop wondering.

I don't think I can afford a PI. I could do a little on my own, I just can't figure out when she has the time. She never leaves early for work. It takes about thirty minutes for her to get home from work, sometime she doesn't get home for 1 1/2 hours, that doesn't seem like that is a lot of time. Maybe that is why her bj skills have improved. I do a lot of evening meetings, that would give her opportunity. She does seem to be more interested in when and where those meetings are. I am about to enter my busy season and she has been more interested this year than ever when I will get busy.
She told me about the black guy at work. She says all the girls at work think he's handsome. Last year he was her hero. She was in a different department with a bad boss and he rescued her from a bad situation. Now she is in a different department and he comes to visit her more often. She knows it bothers me so she likes to rub it in my faces whenever she can. He came to visit me today, he rubbed my back today, he told me this today, he told me that today. My wife is very attractive, more attractive than most of the women she works with, I've met several of them. I imagine he spends more time with her, especially if he is getting a receptive response.
Now there is another black guy at work. He works on the floor above. He was transferred from another facility because he was having an affair with a white woman there. He's only been here 3 or4 months and he has already messed around with another girl at work. How does my wife know this? Why does she tell me these things? She knows it drives me up the wall.
I will tone down the questioning. Sometimes I can't help myself. When things don't add up I speak without thinking. I wish I could figure this out and set a trap, then I would know for sure.

I can't figure out why you are putting up with the disrespect. If my wife did this, I would show her the door.

Do you have any self respect?

File for divorce, have her served at work then tell her she won't have to keep tack of when you have meetings at night now.

He gave my wife and some of the girls a tour of the facility once, it is a big place and she had never seen it all. This place has a lot of security. He was sure to point out the place "where there weren't any cameras"
Come to think of it she was really sore that day, she said it was from all the walking.

I am starting to disbelieve this thread. You really can't be this gullible.

Hi Folks, I think usa1ah is spot on. I, too, get the feeling the OP is getting off on this. He does'nt seem overly concerned that his wife may be in a full blown affair. Th3 other possibility is that his wife is completely innocent and he has taken a few stray incidents which can be explained rationally and blown them out of all proportion and built a fantasy scenario of his wife cheating on him with a black guy and this whole thing plays into his mindset and gives him a much needed kick. I don't know which of these two possibilities is the real one but in either case the fault lies with the OP. Not much you can do about that.

Hi Folks, I think usa1ah is spot on. I, too, get the feeling the OP is getting off on this. He does'nt seem overly concerned that his wife may be in a full blown affair. Th3 other possibility is that his wife is completely innocent and he has taken a few stray incidents which can be explained rationally and blown them out of all proportion and built a fantasy scenario of his wife cheating on him with a black guy and this whole thing plays into his mindset and gives him a much needed kick. I don't know which of these two possibilities is the real one but in either case the fault lies with the OP. Not much you can do about that.

The thing that gets me about his wife is the fact she is throwing it in his face that she is flirting with the co workers. It's like she is telling everything except the details of the sex.

I mean really, women's lady bits don't get sore from walking. At least I have never meet one that had this problem.

I wouldn't be so quick to judge the OP as we really know nothing of his frame of mind right now.

I know that I was in complete disbelief that my ex-wife was screwing around for a long time, even though the signs were there. Honestly, it took her old/new boyfriend moving into the house for me to completely wake-up and figure out that she was probably having an affair while we were still married. And, as I stated there were some pretty obvious signs before that.

There's a big part of you that just doesn't want to believe that the person you've been with for so long could violate your trust in such a manner. It's even harder when odd behavior just comes out of nowhere.

And, bear in mind that the environment he is living in right now is probably awful. He's sharing a bed with a woman that he doesn't trust and is having an affair. But, this type of environment is what drove me to leave; I wasn't going to hang around and deal with the fights, the lies and the sneaking around.

It does bother me more that it is a black man. She has always been infatuated with black men, probably because it bothers me so much.
This whole thing started me to thinking. Why, after 27 years of marriage, is she starting to fool around? And I remembered a time a few years back, when she was at her old job. There was this guy, not a coworker but a patron. A construction worker, a white guy, and kind of a neighbor. His nickname was the hammer. I had to explain to my wife why a man has the nickname hammer. Then she became friendly with him, making things for him like cookies, etc. If he didn’t come in that day she would drop them by his house on the way home. He would buy her wine, she only drinks one kind but he would get her more expensive wine. She said he would do anything for her. There was this time for about a month or two her bras smelled like cigarette smoke. We don’t smoke. Why would her bra smell like smoke? And then I remembered he smoked like a chimney. She said his house reeked of smoke. The only reason a bra would smell like cigarette smoke is if she had it off, right? My guess is that she laundered her clothes, showered, and washed her hair but she didn’t wash her bras so often. She claimed it wore them out too fast. So I confronted her. I asked her straight out “ are you messing around with him?” I never got a definite yes or no. She just said “I can’t believe you think I would…” But she quit going over there and the wine stopped coming. And I never gave it another thought.

I assure you every word I write is true.
The fact is I can't afford a divorce. I've worked my whole life to get where I am now and I am not going to give up half. I would basically have to start over. She would get the liquid assets and I would get what's left over. I know these things because my brother went through a divorce. As luck would have it he survived, she went bankrupt.
I just want to know if she is cheating on me. I would change the way I treat her.
I came to this site to learn how to find out. What others do. I don't like being played a fool.
It feels good to express my concerns and talk about it. I can't talk to anyone about this, not family, not friends.

I admit... when someone suspects cheating but isn't doing everything in their power to find evidence it's not very motivating to help. Especially when they say they won't change a things except rewarding the cheater by treating them better.

Why reward bad behavior?

Why help someone when they don't intend to change their life for the better?

Seek advice from an attorney! You may not forfeit half of your stuff - you may get everything you request. Your brother may not have asked for enough...

Does your wife work? You want her working if you leave her. That way she gets less from you.

IF she's cheating and you ask to have a post nip signed she may agree...if you time things right and are prepared to protect your assets.

Have you installed a voice activated recorder in her car?

Have you installed cameras with audio in your home?

You can see what she's doing in real time without telling her the camera is there. You can hear all her conversations.

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