Thursday, May 31, 2007

How can you claim him when you know, deep down, that his heart belongs to someone else? Did you ever wonder about all those calls that have never been returned, all those messages that have been merely ignored? You assume that he’s busy – but with what? Or with whom? How can you not look at the mirror and compare yourself with her, knowing that you have nothing to offer to him that she, herself, has not given already? How can you not see all the questionable things and the grey areas he never bothered to explain? C’mon, woman, open your eyes. How terribly self-deluded are you to assert that he is faithful to you? How on earth did you convince yourself that he is committed to you when you know with certainty that he never made such commitment? She was already introduced to his parents and his siblings? Were you ever? Have you built a bond with the people dearest to him, like she has? How can you bear the thought that hers is the voice that he longs for and not yours? Are you aware that she was the one he called last before he left and the one he called first when he arrived? How can you sleep at night knowing that every night he dreams of sleeping in her arms? How can you be proud when her finger wears his ring, and not yours? Can you continue loving him like what she has been doing – given all his faults and the painful knowledge that other women like you exist in his life? How can you compete with their history together – how their lives have been intertwined by years of sacrifice, of struggling together, and sharing the seemingly mundane yet intricate details of daily life? How can you hold on when you know that he was never yours to lose?