Friday, March 1, 2013

So I haven't posted in a WHILE! Ha, time got away from me.I'll start at July 2012: My DH and I decided to take our TTC situation more seriously and went to my OB/GYN and discussed our options. Being diagnosed with severe PCOS she suggested taking Metformin and balancing my diet/exercise & stress levels then trying clomid. So, that's what I did.Late July early August, I was giving Provera, a medicine to induce a menstrual cycle, took that for 10 days, waited 7-8 days for my period to arrive, waited 7-8 days for it to finish, then on days 5-9 of my period i started with 5 (50mg/each) tablets of Clomid. Had to have SI on days 12-18 then go for an US on day 24. US didn't show any follicles, so if by day 40 no period or + pregnancy test it was a complete failure and we would then have to follow the same schedule just upping my Clomid doses.So having no luck with the first round @ 50mg, we tried 2 rounds of Clomid with 100mg and STILL nothing. Not even follicle appearances. I was devastated.I feel like a complete failure as a wife and a woman. Why cant I do what every woman was made to do. Round 1 was late July/early August, Round 2 was September and round 3 was mid/late October. All three rounds were of no success, not even a little hint of moving forward.We decided to take a break and rethink our options and the situation and enjoy the holidays and try not to stress about it.I love Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years, spending time with family and friends. I had now become like the Grinch or Ebenezer Scrooge. I didn't want to do or go anywhere or anything. I didn't want to because I was tired of everyone asking me or my DH when we were going to start a family. If one more person asked I was going to say when we damn well feel like it because if i had to tell the truth, then I'd be compelled to give details and I cant stand to get those pity looks or the HORRIBLE response like: "everything happens for a reason", "it will happen when it's meant to happen", "you're young, you have plenty of time". I WANT TO SCREAM people! If people actually knew what I was thinking I'm sure i wouldn't have many family members talking to me. Now that the new year is here, I'm hoping 2013 has some exciting surprises in store for us.Keep Praying.