The Fear of Redemption

(October
5, 1966)

You may wonder why it is so crucial
that you look upon your hatred, and realize its full extent. And you may
think that it would be easy enough for the Holy Spirit to show it to
you, and dispel it, WITHOUT the need for you to raise it to awareness
yourself. But there is one more complication which you have interposed
between yourself and the Atonement, that you do not yet realize. We have
said that no one will countenance fear, IF HE RECOGNIZES IT. But in your
disordered state, YOU ARE NOT AFRAID OF FEAR. You do not LIKE it, but it
is NOT your desire to attack which really frightens you. You are not
seriously disturbed by your hostility. You keep it hidden because you
are MORE afraid of what it covers.

You could look even upon the ego's
darkest cornerstone WITHOUT fear, if you did not believe that, WITHOUT
THE EGO, you would find, within yourself, something you fear even more.
YOU ARE NOT AFRAID OF CRUCIFIXION. Your real terror is of REDEMPTION.
Under the ego's dark foundation is the memory of God, and it is of
THIS that you are really afraid. For this memory would INSTANTLY restore
you to your proper place, and it is THIS place that you have sought to
LEAVE.

Your fear of attack is nothing,
compared to your fear of love. You would be willing to look upon your
savage wish to kill God's Son, if you did not believe that IT SAVES
YOU FROM LOVE. For this wish CAUSED the separation. You have protected
it, because you do not WANT the separation healed, and you realize that,
by REMOVING the dark cloud that obscures it, your love for your Father
would IMPEL you to answer his call, and leap into heaven. You believe
that attack is salvation, to PREVENT you from this. For still deeper
than the ego's foundation, and MUCH stronger than IT will ever be, is
your intense and burning love of God, AND HIS FOR YOU.

THIS IS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO
HIDE. In honesty, is it not harder for you to say "I love" than "I
hate?" For you associate love with weakness and hatred with strength,
and your REAL power seems to you as your real weakness. For you could
NOT control your joyous response to the call of love if you heard it,
and the whole world you THINK you control WOULD vanish. The Holy Spirit,
then, seems to be ATTACKING YOUR FORTRESS, for you would SHUT OUT GOD,
and He does not will to BE excluded.

You have built this whole insane
belief system, because you think you would be HELPLESS in God's
presence. And you would SAVE yourself from His love, because you think
it would crush you into nothingness. You are afraid it would sweep you
AWAY from yourself, AND MAKE YOU LITTLE. For you believe that magnitude
lies in defiance, and attack is grandeur. YOU THINK YOU HAVE MADE A
WORLD THAT GOD WOULD DESTROY. And by loving Him, WHICH YOU DO, you would
throw this world away, WHICH YOU WOULD.

Therefore, you have used the world
to COVER YOUR LOVE, and the deeper you go into the blackness of the
ego's foundation, the closer you come to the love that is hidden
beneath it. AND IT IS THIS THAT FRIGHTENS YOU. You can accept insanity,
BECAUSE YOU MADE IT. But you cannot accept love, BECAUSE YOU DID NOT.
You would rather be slaves of the crucifixion, than sons of God in
redemption. For your INDIVIDUAL death is more valued than your living
Oneness, and what is GIVEN you, is not so dear as what you MADE. You are
more afraid of God than of the ego, and love cannot enter where it is
not welcome. But hatred CAN, for it enters of its will, and cares not
for YOURS.

The reason you must look upon your
delusions, and not keep them hidden, is that THEY DO NOT REST ON THEIR
OWN FOUNDATION. In concealment, they APPEAR to do so, and thus they seem
to be SELF-SUSTAINED. THIS is the fundamental illusion on which they
rest. For BENEATH them, and concealed as long as THEY are hidden, is the
loving mind that THOUGHT it made them in anger. And the pain in this
mind is so apparent, when it is uncovered, that its need of healing
cannot BE denied. Not all the tricks and games that you have offered it
can heal it, for HERE is the REAL crucifixion of God's Son.

And yet he is NOT crucified. For
here is both his pain AND his healing, for the Holy Spirit's vision is
merciful and His remedy is quick. Do not HIDE suffering from His sight,
but bring it gladly TO Him. Lay before His eternal sanity ALL your hurt,
and let Him heal you. Do not leave any spot of pain hidden from His
light, and search your minds carefully for any thoughts which you may
fear to uncover. For He will heal every little thought that you have
kept to hurt you, and cleanse it of its littleness, restoring it to the
magnitude of God.

Beneath all your grandiosity, which
you hold so dear, is your real call for help. For you call for love to
your Father, as your Father calls you to Himself. In that place, which
you have hidden, you will only to unite with the Father, in loving
remembrance of Him. You will find this place of truth as you see it in
your brothers, for though they may deceive themselves, like you they
long for the grandeur that is in them. And perceiving it you will
WELCOME it, and it will be yours. For grandeur is the RIGHT of God's
Son, and no illusions can satisfy him, or save him from what he IS.

Only his love is real, and he will
be content ONLY with his reality. Save him from his illusions, that you
may accept the magnitude of your Father in peace and joy. But exempt no
one from your love, or you will be hiding a dark place in your minds,
where the Holy Spirit is not welcome. And you will exempt YOURSELF from
His healing power, for by not offering total love, YOU will not be
healed completely. And healing must be as complete as fear, for love
cannot enter where there is one spot of fear to mar its welcome.

You who prefer specialness to sanity
could not obtain it in your right minds. You were at peace until you
asked for special favor. And God did not give it. For the request was
alien to Him, and you could not ask this of a Father who truly loved His
Son. Therefore, you made of Him an UNloving father, demanding of Him
what only such a father COULD give. And the peace of God's Son was
shattered, for he no longer understood his Father. He feared what he had
made, but still more did he fear his REAL father, having attacked his
glorious equality WITH Him.

In peace he needed nothing, and
asked for nothing. In war he DEMANDED everything, and FOUND nothing. For
how could the gentleness of love respond to his demands, EXCEPT by
departing in peace, and returning to the Father? If the son did not wish
to REMAIN in peace, he could not remain at all. For a darkened mind
cannot live in the light, and it must seek a place of darkness, where it
can believe it is where it is NOT. God did not ALLOW this to happen. But
you DEMANDED that it happen, and therefore believed that it was so.

To
SINGLE OUT is to MAKE ALONE, and thus MAKE LONELY. God did not do this
to you. Could He SET YOU APART, KNOWING that your peace lies in His
oneness? He denied you only your request for pain, for suffering is not
of His creation. Having GIVEN you creation, He could not take it FROM
you. He could but answer your insane request with a sane answer, which
would abide with you in your insanity. AND THIS HE DID. No-one who hears
His answer but will give up insanity. For His answer is the reference
point BEYOND delusions, from which you can look back on them, and see
them as insane. But seek this place and you WILL find it, for love is in
you, and will lead you there.