re·form: (r-fôrm)
v. re·formed, re·form·ing, re·forms
v. tr.
1. To improve by alteration, correction of error, or removal of defects; put into a better form or condition.
2. To cause (a person) to give up harmful or immoral practices; persuade to adopt a better way of life.
ma·ma or mam·ma also mom·ma: n.
(also m-mä) Informal. Mother.

12.23.2006

Merry Christmas From South Carolina

So we've been here almost a month now and this is my first post. That's because we still don't have internet at home. I am posting from the library.

Lots has happened. Let's see.

Well, obviously we moved. We've been getting settled in and all that jazz. There's not much here -- I'll write more on that later.

Ed's been working so that means we have income now. That's a GOOOOOOOODDDDD thing; especially right at Christmas.

Oh yeah... I heard from my mom. Today. Right before I came to the library.

I checked the mail and there it was. A Christmas card envelope with my mom's writing on it and her name in the return address slot. I opened it up immediately and found $100 inside.

Hooooray! Right?

Well, let's see. I had not heard from mom since Feb. The last I heard she didn't know where she was going and had said things were pretty bad. That's like 10 months or so of NO CONTACT.

That's 10 months of me not knowing if she was dead or alive.

10 months of me not knowing if she needed something or if she had enough to eat or if she had a roof over her head.

Gee, thanks for the money mom, but I'd much rather have the last 10 months worry back -- this time worry-free.

I know, I know. I should be like the father to the prodigal son, but I don't know if I have that much grace in my heart. I am sooooooo incredibly glad that i know where she is and that she is obviously doing alright, but I am soooooooo incredibly furious right now that I can't see straight.

I pray that I drop dead -- immediately -- if I ever come close to doing anything like this to my son.

And the $$$. Boy, that's just like her. Money always fixes everything. Well I have news for her. It doesn't. Money is not like Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser. In fact, for me, money is kind of like throwing the stained garment in the dryer and setting the stain permanently.

So, pray for me. Pray that I respond in a godly manner. That I show her grace.