Monday, February 18, 2008

so, throwin' up a more somber post than normal. requesting prayers for sweet goo. last night, she was up from about 9 until 230 or 3. would be ok if one of us was holding her. but the second we went to put her down, she would cry. and we are talking that kind of cry that you can't ignore. that kind of cry that makes you wonder what on earth is wrong. so in that time period, one of us was either standing with her, swaying or rocking in the chair. finally at 3, i couldn't stand any longer with her. she was calm, so i put her down. and she cried. oh, did she cry. and honestly, if she had been comfortable with me rocking her, i would have just gone to sleep with her. but she only wanted me to stand and sway. no such luck for me.

she woke up about 830, which is the time she normally wakes up, so it wasn't necessarily a relief that she "slept in." took big h to school and headed home for about thirty minutes before we got back in the car to go to the pediatrician. i know you're laguhing. thinking to yourself, "how in the world do they go that often?" i wonder that same thing. trust me.

well, buz and i have had an awkward pit in our stomachs for a couple of weeks now. that things have changed with goo. ever since she fell. she has just been off. really grumpy. not her usual self. crying a LOT in the middle of the night. naps are shorter. she cries to sleep and cries when she wakes up. just a lot of things.

so finally this morning, i went in wanting to check her ears. making sure the antibiotic was working. check. everything else checked out. so i began to tell her (not dr. g -- he wasn't in the office today) what my concerns were. and in a nutshell, she told me that buz and i would most likely be at peace until all the i's were dotted and t's were crossed. and the one thing that would tell us if anything "happened" when she fell would be a head CT. and she would have to be sedated due to her age.

pit in my stomach. but a good pit? does that make sense? don't want her to have to do it. but feel like it's best somehow to rule out everything?

i'll be honest. the sedation part makes me so nervous. it's not until 230 in the afternoon. so that's a lot of time without milk, food, or water/juice.

and then you have the elephant in the room. if the CT doesn't show anything, what is wrong with my baby? if it does show something, what are we looking at? what are the possibilities?

anyway, this mama's got some anxiety.

so if you think of it, would you pray for my sweet goo today and tomorrow?

on pins and needles for the outcome. you are ALL in our prayers. to ease the anxiety think back on all the times in the past she has amazed you with her strength and resiliance. she's a little fighter and you are her cheerleader. love y'all!