Brown Chooses Lavatory Paper Colour: It's Green!

"It's green!", Brown announced after agonizing over his decision concerning the new National Lavatory Paper Colour (NLPC).

Brown confided to closest colleagues: "I wish I was like Bushlair. Blush are "deciders"! Honestly ,I just haw and hee and hem like some jackass tailor. Red? Blue? Pink? Gray? - I stayed up nights.I know men like Blair and Bush (who are really the same person) send thousands of people to their deaths unnecessarily without a moment's thought. But not me,I'm like Gandhi!

"I worry about everything and so asswipe is not insignificant. I settled on green for obvious reasons.Since the fall of the empire, our inability to deal with immigrants, the Big Brother scandal and the deaths of 50% of the Beatles, most subjects of the Queen are shittin' green!"

Make Pointer's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

The former corpse and monarch is set to involve himself in the 21st Century by joining various social media.
The king was resurrected by royalist necromancers in 2012 but has maintained a low profile since his return to life.
Richard III was ki...

London- Britney Spears traveled to Britain to address the House of Commons to complain about the structure of the British government.
Spears complains that England is not a true democracy but a false democracy.
"After reading excerpt from Aris...

The Dalai Lama may be a man of few possessions™, but he's hoping to get the better of Anglican Archbishop Justin Welby in a very material manner; while also sticking up for the faithful (at least, the right kind of faithful, anyway).
Attendi...

The Prime Minister has announced plans to introduce the wearing of blindfolds in supermarkets for all benefit claimants which will be introduced of the Tories win the next General Election in May.
The new requirement will apply to anyone claiming...

A group once affiliated with ISIS has broken off and formed a splinter faction, claiming as their primary goal the "total, rapid modernization of the Levant", promising also an immediate, all out " blitz" of "humanist secularization" and complete and...

Somerset Levels, UK - A massive arsenal of IRA weapons including AK-47s, MI6 assault rifles and a Sherman tank has been found by teenagers at the bottom of a British river bed.
13 year-olds Bob Piranna and Warren Nuckles were magnet-fishing on th...

Chancellor George Osborne has shaken David Cameroon by resigning over the input of tax evaders being siphoned to The Tory Party.
'I've had enough' he declared from the steps of 11 Downing Street, 'When a political party is financed by the proceeds...

(London) - Numerous sources have now independently confirmed that Rupert Murdoch will marry Sarah Palin this September in the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg.
While Mr. Murdoch's divorce from Wendi Deng in 2013 was front-page news worldwide, few were aw...