My life is a lie!

They said "Hold on, you will get better, things will get easier", 12 years later things are WORSE!
They lied to me, because that is what they do, they lie, because they wanted to stop me from killing myself,
because it was their job, or civil duty, because suicide is a "bad" thing that must be stopped at all coast, because if i commit suicide, others will suffer.

Well fuck you all, i went through hell for 12 years, and im still there!
also fuck you because you preferred that i will suffer instead of those "others" (that will be in pain because of my death)
fuck you for lying to me
fuck you giving up on me
fuck you for abandoning me
where are all those "good people" who told me those lies so many years ago?
they dont even remember me, they got other patients to fill their minds with empty lies, that what they got paid for to do.

I feel abandoned too, society just ravishing on without me, no body really seems to care that I'm depressed at times, things got worse and more difficult to deal with for me the last 11 years, had a stroke at 21 yrs old.

That is messed up that you got lied to about your depression/illness by the docs for so many years, I agree It would have been better for them to tell you straight up that your condition would slowly get worse. I'm sorry that you have been dealing with this kind of hardship for so long.

I am sincerely sad about your situation.

I don't know how close you are to the tipping point but I know that there are barely words that can even describe the tragic pain and emotions that you feel when you hit that point.

I'm here for you , I hope you will be able to see that you still have a purpose in life, you are all that matters, your opinion is all that matters. Yes you can say F*ck you or F*ck off to anyone and everyone, but please give yourself another chance to do what you need to do in your life to make this this a better situation for your self.

Honestly yeah F*ck all them for what they did to you though.

I hope maybe a friend or someone could be there to cheer you up soon and maybe they can help you work things out a little.

I'm really sorry they didn't give you the help you hoped for. And that you feel you were given up on

Have you considered getting some more efficient help though, I know suicide can be tempting, but if you get the right help and support life can be better... and I know you're going to roll your eyes at me for saying that. But I also do appreciate that it's hard work, and it's not something that happens over night.

What is troubling you? Is it things that could be changed? Instead of removing yourself, could you remove those things?