Obsessive

"All girls worry about what other people think of them, so for a long time I didn’t know my thoughts were any different from anyone else’s. I worry constantly about people judging me for the way I look, what I say, what I wear, whether I’m doing the right thing or if I will be successful enough in just the right way. I felt so lucky to have a boyfriend in college that even when he was not treating me the way I wanted; I was too worried about being alone again to say anything to him about it. I found partying in college was one escape to shut my mind off for a little while and feel more comfortable around other people. Except that often the next day I would start obsessing again about what I had said or done the night before, whether it was the right thing, and what others would think about the pictures that were posted online. I have no idea how to take care of myself after college and sometimes I start to feel so hopeless and overwhelmed that I think it would be easier if I were to just not wake up one day. "