Dark web murder-for-hire organisation Besa Mafia never paid any of their would-be hitmen for burning cars for them. The only people paid were their army of freelance writers. Here’s what Besa Mafia had them do.

Shilling for the Hitmen

Any freelancer knows that sometimes you have to take some pretty questionable jobs to put dinner on the table. This whole writing gig is not at all lucrative for those of us who are not J.K. Rowling or Stephen King, and in between books and serious investigative journalism (both which pay dismally when converted to hourly rates), we have to take some less-than-rewarding jobs. My low points have included extolling the virtues of pokies (slot machines for US readers) and offering my body up for clinical tests of a new drug (not the fun kind).

The problem with writing a new book is that you save all the good stuff for the book and that leaves you with nothing for the blog. So in desperation, I’ve been clicking on random links from Onion crawlers to see if there’s anything new, relevant and/or even vaguely interesting happening in the deep dark web.

Mr Robot Spoilers – going cheap on the Dark Web

Here’s a glimpse of where that little experiment took me.

Get in quick for the October 1 Dark Red Room Show

Yes, for those who missed out on their September 17th and September 24th show, you have another chance! One reviewer of an earlier show give it 5 Stars! (Though you have to wonder if they exaggerated because they admitted they get a discount for the next show for the good review). That’s much better than the review I gave the ISIS Red Room (not enough bacon).

Hmmm… this “once-in-a-lifetime experience” is onto it’s third show

But if you missed it and are convinced by the glowing review (“the video was very high resolution and didn’t buffer . . . I noticed there was plenty of evidence to reassure the viewer that it was live and notpre-recorded“)the next episode of torture, murder and a gynaecologist wielding power tools (running time 45 mins unless subject expires sooner) is scheduled for October 1.

Slight catch – they want half a Bitcoin up front to watch the action. But they get that you might not be flush with the old cryptocurrency, so they are willing to take “any reasonable amount” and let you watch a pro rata amount of the action.

You can’t ask for better terms than that. Jump on this bargain before its sold out.

There are stories of people paying real money, verifiable through the blockchain, that have come out of the hack. Both targets and their would-be killers can be identified, so it’s only fair to leave those to the authorities for now.

Meanwhile, in an epic troll, someone contacted Besa Mafia asking whether they can buy children (its okay if they’re ugly, but not if they’re from the Midwest).

Even hitmen get trolled

And it’s hard to imagine BesaAdmin is not playing along.

BesaAdmin steps up to respond to all questions, complete with scenarios lifted straight from films about how to get them to cooperate (pretend you’re the nice guy getting them from the bad guys) and no, they are not kept in basements until they’re sold. You can refuse the first two kids they come up with, but there will be no a trial rental of a child.

Anon is interested in trialling out becoming a hitperson, because he doesn’t think there are many in Kansas. Besa would have to supply the sniper rifle though, because Anon can’t afford that and the hoodies.

It’s all kind of darkly amusing, if you have a particularly warped sense of humour.

The hack of dark web “murder-for-hire” outfit Besa Mafia, which I wrote about a couple of days ago. has provided a treasure trove of stories of people who are prepared to go to extreme measures to be rid of someone in their lives. Most never got further than the initial enquiries. A few parted with tens of thousands of dollars. Nobody got much satisfaction.

One of the first customers that Besa Mafia engaged with was a Texan fellow who wanted to put out a hit on his ex-wife. It didn’t go quite to plan. Especially once Guido came into the conversation.

Before the recent hack confirmed definitively what rational people already knew – i.e. that the dark web “murder-for-hire” site was a scam – it was a little disconcerting that Besa Mafia’s No.1 FAQ was Do you have people in Australia?

Aussies have always been big users of the DNMs

Now a thorough search of the leaked mails and orders has found no evidence that any of the people who made Australian-based enquiries parted with any money. However, at least one sent full details of the intended victim.

Compared to the US orders (where payments were made), interest seems to peter out fairly quickly from most of the Aussie enquirers. (If you haven’t heard about the site or the hack, catch up here).

I’ve compiled a list of the Australian interactions with the site, presented in an easy-read format, without commentary but accompanied by whimsical illustrations for you:

Drugs, hacking services, stolen financial and personal information and fraud-related services are the staple products of the darknet markets. But there has always been websites offering far more sinister wares – poisons, human beings and hitmen. Such sites are overwhelmingly amateurish, poorly worded fakes, designed to separate the gullible from their Bitcoin.

Earlier this year, Besa Mafia burst on to the dark web with a slick and user-friendly site. They claimed to be Albanian organised crime figures, with employees all over the world. Despite laughable “testimonials” and a ridiculous writing style, the owner of the site managed to convince many that they were real.

Besa embarked on a marketing spree on the clearweb, with apparently satisfied customers providing ‘personal stories’ of successful hits. Little by little, belief that they were genuine began to gain traction. Redditors would claim the others were fake, but Besa was the real deal. Believers would stubbornly insist they knew someone who knew someone who hired a contract killer and paid them in Bitcoin.

Dark web mythbuster and Moderator of /r/deepweb, Deku-Shrub was tiring of the misinformation and rumour spreading by Besa shills. He responded to every post that claimed the services offered by the website were real with a rebuttal and even interviewed the site owners, then ridiculed them on his blog, Pirate London.

Rational people knew this site was a scam, just like all the others. Probably some geeky kid with too much time on his hands and too many hours spent on Playstation having a laugh.