Earlier this year, my sister received an invitation to a Bar Mitzvah. I received one too, but living in another country limits the family occasions I can partake in. Actually, my sister and her two children, aged five and two, were the only ones from our side of the family who could attend.

My sister loves family events and a Bar Mitzvah is one of the biggest in Jewish families. It is a coming-of-age celebration for boys when they turn 13 (for girls it is called a Bat Mitzvah).

She spent several weeks trying to work out travel and hotel arrangements for her and her children. It was difficult, financially and logistically, for them to travel from Michigan to Florida, and she wondered whether she should go or not.

But, just before she booked her tickets, she received an email from our cousin, the boy’s mother, asking if my sister wanted a babysitter for the party night. No young children were invited, our cousin explained.

My sister wasn’t angry or offended, but she was baffled. This was an event for children, and they were excluded. On the other hand, it was helpful in one way – the email made up her mind. She didn’t go.

The Debate Team on BabyCenter have considered a similar issue about baby showers. Cynmusic opened it with the question, “The point of a baby shower is to welcome a new child into the world by showering the mother and unborn baby with gifts, so isn’t a tad bit hypocritical to say no children?”

I won’t be having a baby shower. I did with my first, but this time it feels too risky. (Perhaps something to discuss on a later post…)

Even though I will be refusing attempts to “baby-shower-me”, I can’t help but agree with cynmusic. Surely, a baby shower is an event to celebrate the coming of a child and, as such, it would be hypocritical to exclude them?

But, according to the thread, I’m in the minority. For many of them, children at baby showers are “distracting,” “undisciplined” and “a pain in the ass.”

70 Responses to Should kids be banned from baby showers?

If I was to host a baby shower in my home, Id request no children.the reason? everyone invited would have a minimum of 2 kids a piece. I dont want 20+ kids tearing up my house. Nor do I want to be responsible for entertaining them.

the only reason I didn’t have kids at mine was because of the location. it was at an art gallery/tea shop and there were too many breakables.

Celenasays:

April 13, 2011 at 5:57 am

If you want a present from me and I have to bring my kids, you can A) get over yourself and let my kids come or
B) get one less present

Bevsays:

April 13, 2011 at 6:00 am

No children at any of my showers. I didn’t want kids there because it’s too much chaos and it raises the cost for those hosting.. But if the person who the shower is for wants children there, then it’s fine. It’s up to what a person wants.

It’s not being hypocrite to exclude children from any type of celebration – baby shower included. A baby shower is to celebrate the expectant mother and the upcoming baby – not to make it a “kid’s party” which is what most parties turn into when there are children invited.

Cristinasays:

April 13, 2011 at 6:03 am

I can understand not having kids at a wedding shower but not a baby shower. I had kids at mine and it didn’t bother me at all. In fact it would have really offended my family if I didn’t allow kids. It is not easy for everyone to get a babysitter. I would just not go if I was told not to bring my kids.

Leahsays:

April 13, 2011 at 6:05 am

I think that anyone who thinks there child “needs’ or “should” be invited to any invite is a bit entitled. I really dislike that attitude in certain moms – that to not include their children is wrong.

No, children do not have to be invited to a baby shower unless the mom-to-be wants them there. I only wanted my nieces/nephews at mine, so that’s all that were invited. And no one declined because their children weren’t invited. The majority of showers I’ve been to don’t include children because of cost and crowd control.

Celenasays:

April 13, 2011 at 6:06 am

I guess I’m going to different baby showers than everyone else. Kids are welcome and they have a great time as do the mothers. The hostess gives the kids a room to play in and they all play and clean up after themselves when they are done.

Cristinasays:

April 13, 2011 at 6:08 am

I would like to add, I have been to two bat mitzvahs and I can see not having small children there. The ones I been to were like a wedding. When I say small, I mean under 5. It would be too distracting. I know because I made the mistake of allowing kids at my wedding, to please everyone. The kids took over the dance floor and a kid caught the bouquet and a kid caught the gerder. Plus all the little girls wanted to dance with me all night and wouldn’t leave me alone. It kind of ruined my wedding.

Jamiesays:

April 13, 2011 at 6:10 am

Even when my babies were included on baby shower invites I usually left them home – mom needs some time away!!

If I was invited w/out children and my husband couldn’t stay home with them or I could find a sitter I would politely decline but still send a gift. The mother-to-be who the shower is for can invite whomever she chooses.

Honestly, when shower gusts lists start hitting 15, 25, 35 guests can you imagine how out of control it would get if they were all invited with children???? You better bring a BIG gift if you’re brining extra guests

Courtneysays:

April 13, 2011 at 6:16 am

I think that it should completely be up to the hostess and the person being showered, whether it be baby or wedding shower. It is a completely shower by shower decision. Sometimes it is a little nice to be at a party without kids, especially having been around mine all day!!!! And I completely agree with #6 Leah above, the whole I should be entitled to bring my kids thing can be a little much.

Laurasays:

April 13, 2011 at 6:26 am

I think it really depends on the crowd and setting of the shower. Most baby showers that I attend are very low key, casual events where kids are definitely allowed. If it was more of a “girls night” type of shower where only your close girlfriends get together, I can see the reasoning in not inviting kids because it would be more of a social event. I completely respect anyone in their own opinions about whether they want kids at their shower. However, I’ll be honest in saying that I just might not be able to attend if they aren’t allowed (and I’ll say that I would be completely shocked if ANYONE I knew would EVER say ‘no kids’ at a baby shower). We all have to make decisions on how we spend our time and I’m not gonna waste a kid-free time period (grandma or daddy watching them) on a baby shower. I’ll save that for a REAL girls night out :-).

ESOsays:

April 13, 2011 at 6:29 am

I think it depends on the host and venue as well. If the venue is large enough to accomodate kids running around, and the host is fine with it, then I don’t see any problem. But if it’s going to be at a place that just isn’t kid-friendly, then the kids won’t have fun and neither will the moms. To me, it just seems “right” to have kids at a baby shower, so maybe hosts can keep that in mind and not choose a fancy or small venue and try to find one that will accomodate kids, depending on how many there are. They don’t eat much, so I don’t see added cost as being an issue, but rather that they can be occupied sufficiently, since showers tend to run a few hours long and can get boring, even for the guests.

Lissasays:

April 13, 2011 at 6:35 am

I had two showers for my twins and we had tons of kids at both. To me, the showers were more about spending time with family and friends. Since everyone in my family has kids, and a handful of my friends do too, it wouldn’t have been the same with out them!!!

I think kids at a baby shower is a yes and kids at a bar or bat mitzvah is a yes too. Very weird not to include them!

Sarasays:

April 13, 2011 at 6:53 am

I helped my MIL host a shower for my SIL. My SIL was VERY VOCAL that my husband needed to make my daughter (2 at the time) disappear before the shower began, even though the event was at my MILs house and hubby had been helping us set up. It was completely apparent that she didn’t want ANYTHING to take the attention off of her that day, even for a second. Hubby pulled out of the driveway with DD seconds before the first guest arrived, and I could tell my SIL was sweating. She wouldn’t even allow her to be kept upstairs during the party, in case she were to wander down to the party for a second. I just thought she was being a spoiled princess. She was already upset that she hadn’t had the first-born grandchild (more attention, you see), even though she and her husband are almost 10 years younger than us! For me, bring the kids or not, I don’t care. But if you don’t want kids there, announce it WAY in advance, and politely.

Kristen C.says:

April 13, 2011 at 6:55 am

My MIL organized a baby shower at my house this weekend without consulting me. Since it’s at my house and people are already invited, I’m obligated (and not happy). She threw one for me with my first baby and it was PAINFUL. The only things that kept me running away screaming are the few kids that were there. This is my second baby (and first son) and the thought of another shower is literally making me sick: 1)because my MIL organized it 2)she’s doing it at MY house without permission 3)I literally don’t need ANYTHING for this baby. We have everything already. And 4)I don’t feel like I should be getting a second shower. I appreciate the thought, but really. One was more than enough. And the only kid at this shower will be my DD…I was desperately hoping for more so I could have some fun! Baby showers are about kids/babies: there should be some present!!!

sarahsays:

April 13, 2011 at 6:56 am

I think it just depends on who the adult guests are, the location and the type of shower–casual or formal. In someone’s house or a park with someone willing to take charge of the kids, then kids welcome. If it will be at a teashop or fancy restaurant with breakable things, then probably not. Our first baby shower was at a restaurant with family and a few close friends. In that group, only my BIL and SIL had small kids so there were two little ones there. We would neve have dreamed of excluding them. A friend threw a baby shower for us for our second child and it was almost all friends with kids the same age as our first at a home and so everyone’s kids were there and some of the dads took the kids outside to play while the moms socialized.

Heathersays:

April 13, 2011 at 7:08 am

A baby shower is an event to celebrate the mom-to-be and the new baby. It’s not a kids’ party.

That being said, if the mom-to-be wants kids there (and her hostess is fine with that), then cool. If not, that’s perfectly acceptable as well.

My shower was hosted by a friend of mine who does not have children. It was held at her house, and it would have been a big inconvenience for her to suddenly have to baby proof her house so that babies and toddlers could attend. I never would have expected that of her. I just thought it was sweet she wanted to throw me a shower.

None of my friends with children (all of the kids were under age 2 at the time) complained. In fact, they liked the idea of leaving the kidlet with daddy having a child-free afternoon with their girlfriends.

Erinsays:

April 13, 2011 at 7:15 am

I haven’t been to one where kids weren’t allowed but I have to agree that when kids are invited to any kind of party and there are a bunch of kids there, a kids party is what it turns in to.
I also agree that it depends on the poeple there and the place, maybe even the theme.

I have only taken my kids to one baby shower and I was more focused on them than anything else, at the end of it, I felt like I could have just taken them to the park and sent a gift instead. I may have been physically present but my mind was obviously not on the party.

Heathersays:

April 13, 2011 at 7:16 am

I had kids at my baby shower, and when I host a shower of any sort kids are always welcome, and I make sure to have toys, games, coloring books, etc. so that they have something fun to do. However, when attending a shower, I take my daughter with me, she’s 7 and loves to sit nicely with the ladies, play silly games, ooh and ahh over all the cute little baby stuff, etc., but my son, he’s 2 and a bit of a bruiser, so he stays home with dad. My thoughts are if I can trust the child to go and participate nicely without causing a distraction then they go, if not they stay home!

Megansays:

April 13, 2011 at 7:19 am

Personally, I feel that this is an event based upon the expecting mother and the expected baby. This is their day to shine. By inviting other kids, it can take the focus off the main reason people are attending this event. I am an expectant mother for the first time and their will be no kids allowed, not to sound selfish but this is me and my babys day to shine.

SparkingBatsays:

April 13, 2011 at 7:25 am

I sure did!! Children are the heart and spirit of family…so why on earth would I exclude them from a celebration FOR a child??

Not only did all the kids attend, but the were all “helping” me open the gifts

On the other hand, I always ask if my children are welcome to any event we’re invited to; I don’t just assume they are. BUT I’m never offended if they’re not – it’s just an opportunity for some grown-up time.

AllisonGsays:

April 13, 2011 at 7:39 am

All the “kids” at mine were 18 and up (my DHs family at the time our first was born were the only people in the area i knew), however there was one couple my husband is friends with who came and they had a little one year old, and he was pleasant as could be. got excited when everyone else got excited and chilled out while we all ate. I like the idea of babies at baby showers, but it might just be because i’ve never had to deal with it.

I didn’t have any children at my shower – except for my cousin, who was about to turn 7. But there weren’t any children there because I didn’t know a lot of people with small children anyway. If I had guests that had kids of course they would be welcome- because I’m not likely to have close friends with raucous kids But I had a pretty low-key party anyway; it wasn’t terribly fancy or anything. It depends on the location, I think, and whether the new mom knows the kids and the mom of the children. I think it would be uncool for someone to bring along kids that the new mom didn’t know. It’s always weird for people you don’t know to show up at your party.

MomofTwoPreciousGirlssays:

April 13, 2011 at 7:42 am

I agree with you, it’s a celebration of life and children and the joy they bring. I’ve only been to two baby showers since either of my kids were born and one was my sister’s. She is also my oldest’s godmother, so of course my daughter was welcome (we were both pg at the same time, her with #1 and me with #2, our girls are only 11 days apart). The other was my cousin and my dd was only 3 months old, so she wasn’t much trouble at that time. plus since they lived about 3 hours away, it was their first chance to meet her, so they welcomed her.

I do kind of get why some people do not like when young children are at that type of event. If the location is a little more upscale, tht could pose an issue. Also, some parents are guilty of taking the opportunity of being in a crowd of family and friends, to be a little lax with caring for their kid. They leave their kids running wild or expect that others will pick up the slack. THAT is rude. When I am invited to an event, that I know my kids are invited to, I evaluate the situation and decide whether it would be ok to bring my kids. I tried bring my DD to her cousin’s baptism. She was only about 20 mos at the time and I was crazy to think she would sit still in church for that. Luckily it was a very small family event in a church with a pastor that my sister had a great realtionship with. They were ok with my dd going up and down the steps in front of the alter. It was less distracting than me trying to keep her quiet in the pew. I would never do that again! It was my sister and my niece, so I REALLY wanted to be there and I acted selfishly! Now if I feel my kids will behave and the venue and theme is appropriate, I will take them. Otherwise, I stay home or find a sitter.

MamaDsays:

April 13, 2011 at 7:45 am

I totally get the “kids should be invited” (that’s my personal preference) but I get that they create chaos/mess/disruptions. So honestly it should be the the “showered” person’s call. One thing I don’t care for is that I was actually un-invited because I couldn’t bring my 6 month old son. He’s EBF, won’t take a bottle, and the shower was 1 1/2 away from our house. I feel if you have a real reason to bring your baby that’s justified. I was willing to leave my very well behaved 3 year old home with Dad, though I didn’t want to.
I’m with the person who said “children are the spirit of our family”, totally true with me! On the other hand, the wild children in my family cause me to agree with the other side. My nephew would destroy the shower…and probably hurt everyone there during his demolition. He’s just too much for a shower. Another thing…older kids I think if they’re invited…it should be their choice to go or not. I was drug to a LOT of baby/wedding showers as a kid…didn’t care for them…mostly because my mom MADE me behave and sit still the whole time. I’d have rather been at a babysitters.

I think that when you take a child anywhere you should ask yourself “is this a place and time my child will enjoy”? Do you really think a child 5 and under wants to go to an adult party? The ones I have been to the children were running ramment and were a disturbance. Anytime you take a child somewhere where he can not play according to his age but expecting him to behave beyond his age you are bascially asking for trouble. How can a parent enjoy herself while having to watch her child constantly? Sounds like the parent is setting themselves up for a stressful time with their child. My daughter even had a birthday party for her 3 year old that several of the children were out of hand, so I can only imagine a baby shower with them!! To me a baby shower would be torture if I was a child!Just saying!

Debrasays:

April 13, 2011 at 8:02 am

This debate is just like the “should kids be allowed at weddings” one… My feelings are the same as that they were for that one… When people have kids, they become apart of the package deal when you are invited to any event (excluding adult only parties at bars and strip clubs)… I have never been invited to something where I was told no kids, when it comes to showers, weddings, or anything like that… It is rude, petty and anyother number of words to say no kids allowed… if they don’t want kids there they should just not invite those who have kids. It would lead to fewer pissed off/hurt/annoyed ppl. I do only take my daughter to showers seems I feel it’s not a place for boys/men… but every shower/wedding we go to all the cousins with kids bring toys and they all get placed in a corner and that gives the kids something to keep them entertained, without making the host/person being showered/bride and groom, having to provide them or clean them up…

Amy Graffsays:

April 13, 2011 at 8:05 am

I just love the feeling that children can bring to an event–it helps make things less serious, breaks up tension, makes people laugh. It’s fun to see how kids react to events–they get so much more excited than adults. I brought my daughter to a shower with a marathon-stretch of gift opening. I got bored and started chatting with those around me and my daughter got really mad and told me that I should pay attention. But ultimately it’s up to those involved and throwing the shower.

Jensays:

April 13, 2011 at 8:18 am

The best showers I have been to have been the ones where there were kids. Our culture, in general, likes to segregate people by age. I think it does all of us a disservice in some ways.

Samantha F.says:

April 13, 2011 at 8:54 am

It is really up to the person the shower or celebration is for. That being said I have never been invited to a shower where kids are excluded and I’ve never seen kids take over a baby shower. I loved having kids at mine and my nephew helped us open the presents. Now that I have a daughter if she wasn’t invited I wouldn’t go, but if she was invited I wouldn’t let her run wild either. I don’t feel like my daughter needs to be invited to everything but a baby shower yes. I can understand a wedding, wedding shower, or a more formal event but the case would probably be the same I just wouldn’t go. On that note my aunt recently threw a birthday party for her 7 year old at chuckie cheese and one of the friends they invited mother rsvp for the friend and her 3 year old little sister. My aunt replied back that their was limited space at the part being it was at a restraunt and the mother said that was fine, the day of the party she showed up and left both kids their anyways! To me that is beyond rude! So I can understand not wanting kids places where there is a head count or a formal affair but those people also know I won’t be coming either.

Jessicasays:

April 13, 2011 at 9:03 am

I had children at my baby shower. I didn’t want anyone coming to have to find a sitter or spend more money than they already did on getting me a gift. Plus, with my family the more the merry. I invited my whole family and my husband’s. Almost eighty people showed up. My cousin came with her two year old and her five month old twins. They didn’t take anything away from me or the shower. It was great for her really. She got a break and was able to enjoy herself because there was plenty of hands to hold the twins and plenty of eyes to keep on her two year old. The shower was great!

I did have chlidren and loved it – of course my shower was held in a local rescue squad building, so it was very casual. If it was in a beautiful restaurant in the evening, I would like exclude children. I think it just depends on the vibe of the event.

tarasays:

April 13, 2011 at 9:34 am

I have absolutely no problem with having children at a baby shower…as long as they are well behaved!! That being said, at my shower (less than a month ago), my neighbor brought her child who is the same age as my daughter (almost 5) and it was horrible. She allowed her to open the gifts, snatching them out of my hands and bossing the other kids while doing so. My OWN daughter never even volunteered to open gifts that were not for her. It was miserable and I now want nothing to do with them!! Unfortunately, most people don’t realize that their kids are brats…so if you have a suspicion that mean kids will be there..don’t invite them — it will make your day better:)

amysays:

April 13, 2011 at 9:43 am

It depends on the group you are inviting, and what their children are like. The thing is, at a baby shower, the women all talk about pregnancy and childbirth-related things, and I don’t see how that’s going to be fun for a kid. Young kids can’t be expected to sit quietly, entertain themselves, or be interested in the conversation, which means that an adult will be taken away from the socializing to manage them. I didn’t take my baby to a bridal shower I recently attended, because babies are attention stealers, and it really would have been unfair to the bride. All the old ladies would want to play with the baby (novelty, after all) and it would detract from a once-in-a-lifetime thing for the bride. It’s not like any other family occasion where one and all can come (other birthday parties or seasonal holidays), because you have those other things every year.

The bar/bat mitzvah thing is a funny one…it is a once in a lifetime “coming of age” but it’s also a birthday party of sorts. Tough call. I can understand, though, if a kid wants other kids his/her age at his/her sweet 16/quinceanera/ other major milestone birthday. Kids under a certain age do turn events into circuses about themselves, and kids over a certain age need to be with their own group. Everything can’t always be about so-and-so’s youngest offspring.

MichelleCsays:

April 13, 2011 at 9:49 am

Jen,#30, I totally agree with you. A disservice. If people don’t want to be ‘bothered’ with putting up with kids, THEY should stay home.(Of course, I’m not talking about movies or bars, but cultural celebrations.) It is really no wonder to me why kids don’t know how to act today. They are not being allowed to participate. When I got married, a good friend of mine brought her baby. She asked where the nursery was. I told her if he started fussing, I would ask the Pastor to speak up, but I didn’t want her to go anywhere. (I think I even gooched him on the way down the aisle.)

If I received an invite to a shower that was ‘kid-free’, I’d just give her gift to her some other time.

Katiesays:

April 13, 2011 at 10:06 am

I think it totally depends on desires of the mom to be, the hose, the location, and the style of the shower. I also think that kids are not “entitled” to an invite to anything. If the host invited kids, she does not have to provide somethngfor them to do. it’s a baby shower, not a birthda party. If kids are brought, and the invitation doesn’t include them specificaly, then the host shoudl be asked before hand if it’s ok, and the moms bringing kids should mind their own children, and not expect the host to provide entertainment. A baby shower is not a kids birthday party.

Guests bringing children to ANY adult focussed event should make sure that the children behave themselves and not draw away from the party. If your kids can’t behave appropriately, don’t bring them. Get a babysitter, or send your regrets. People exculde chilren from events because we can no longer trust that all parents will follow this rule of courtesy.

Yes, as a society we do segregate by age (most cultures do, in fact). Because children can not be expected (and should not be expected) to simply act like little adults. They are children. They want to run around, or be active in some way. Most little children do not have the attention span for sitting in a seat quietly for prolonged periods of time. If you are not in a situation where you can not use something besides the main even to entertain your child, and they will be expected to sit quietly, it’s probably not appropriate (I’m thinking tennis match, the opera, formal dining).

That said, whether or not you should bring your kids depends on the kind of atmosphere you host is attempting to make. I would opt for a child friendly party for a shower but not everyone does. So be it.

Lizsays:

April 13, 2011 at 10:25 am

I was pretty upset when two friends (including the hostess) brought their infants to my shower…

Marielsays:

April 13, 2011 at 10:26 am

You have to know your guests, period. I am having my baby shower soon (for my first baby) and I’m still pondering this. While I love children, a lot of my nieces and nephews misbehave A LOT and can be a handful and their parents leave them to do as they please. I shouldn’t have to be worrying over them breaking chaos on my and my baby’s day, should I? This is really a shower by shower decision.

Stacie Lewissays:

April 13, 2011 at 10:44 am

Wow. If I do have a baby shower – which like I said, I’m not – BUT if I did, I better invite all your kids to it or none of you will come
Debra (#28)said it was like the wedding debate and called the kids a “package deal”. I think weddings are different. Or, at least the wedding ceremony which is quiet and significant. I’m always surprised when people bring babies and the babies cry throughout the ceremony. It seems a simple courtesy to take the baby outside for five minutes until they settle and then come back in. But, the reception itself is the ideal time for children. I had them at mine!
Also, I think, if a party doesn’t allow children, then the people giving it shouldn’t be surprised and certainly not offended if people choose not to attend for whatever reason.

Renaesays:

April 13, 2011 at 11:30 am

It’s the last time the mom-to-be will ever have something be all about her in life again. I think that’s why it’s nice to leave the kids at home. We love them, but they are distracting and take away the attention from the woman of honor.

micsays:

April 13, 2011 at 12:03 pm

A bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah is not really a kid’s party. its a celebration of reaching symbolic adulthood. I can totally see not wanting younger kids there.

Re babyshower, like any other kind of party, its up to the host. Some enjoy the chaos, some hate it. There is no right or wrong, and no need to get pissy. Attend or dont, as it works for you.

Jakabooboosays:

April 13, 2011 at 1:11 pm

We invite families and their children to all our events and nearly never go to an event where children are not invited. We don’t have family close by, and if I’m paying for a sitter and spending time (other than my full-time job) away from my beautiful offspring, it’s because I need time alone with my husband.

My little 7-year-old friend was at my baby shower (thrown by her mother, my best friend). She helped ice the cake, picked the icing colors, helped decorate the party space, and … was a complete attention hog and pain in the ass during the party — but so what?! I would not have excluded her for the world. Her antics were exhausting but really charming — and made all my mommy hormones sing. And she was SO proud to be included and to help proctor the games. She talked of little else for a couple months, until the baby arrived and she could talk about how her mom would be HER doula, too, when the time came. I am delighted to have been the cause for the connection of the generations in her dreams about future family life. It was perfect!

…but it was also difficult for her to see a lot of presents with none of them meant for her to open. Thank goodness there were prizes for the games and her mom thought to include favors. But that experience can be salutary, too.

Kristinasays:

April 13, 2011 at 8:31 pm

I might not be able to attend without my kids, but I don’t think I would be trying to bring them either unless I knew there would be a location where they could play with other kids with some supervision. All the showers I have had/been to have been about opening presents and oohing and awing over cute baby items. I think that would be lost on my kids really quickly. At two of my own baby showers, one child was present (both were young girls around 2 – daughters of the hostesses). One behaved very well and was so sweet helping her mom. The other accidentally spilled a glass of water down a guest’s back (who luckily was her mom’s best friend and we all laugh when we remember it today). As the showeree

Kristinasays:

April 13, 2011 at 8:33 pm

(stupid thing posted too soon!) As the showeree, I didn’t mind that they were there at all. As a guest…I think managing my child’s boredom would make the event not fun for me, so I would opt out unless I had available family childcare.

Another Heathersays:

April 14, 2011 at 12:08 am

I agree with what alot have said here, it depends on the type of shower (formal/informal), location, and the feelings of the mom-to-be. A first time mom might not want a bunch of kids running around, but a second-time (or beyond) mom (if she has a shower at all) probably wouldn’t mind, and would likely include her own kids. The exception to this is of course family, but then again it depends on how big your family is. If you have 15 nieces and nephews under the age of 5, you might rethink including kids, no?

I do want to say that I think that (aside from those belonging to the host/hostess if its held in a home) PETS should NEVER, EVER be brought to a baby shower. I know many of you are thinking “what?” – but honestly and truly, one of my nieces (17 at that time) brought her DOG to my baby shower. Seriously. I was mortified, but what could I do?? I love pets as much as the next person, but they have no business at a baby shower. It doesn’t matter how cute your tiny purse dog is, or how you think of it as your “baby” – at a baby shower the only baby that matters is the baby-to-be of the mom being honored. Period.

Mary C.says:

April 14, 2011 at 7:40 am

I don’t feel entitled to bring my boys to showers. That being said, I have to bring my kids if you want me to go. I don’t have anyone to babysit and my husband usually isn’t avalable. I do understand if the host or mom (or wife) to be doesn’t want kids there, so I simply don’t attend. I also understand looking around at screaming, running and uncontroled children and asking why their parents brought them. My children are not in that group. If a child is part of a family welcoming a new member, they should be allowed to come as long as the parents make sure that they behave.

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