If The Matrix that controls the world isn't a .bat file, I'm jumping off a cliff. I refuse to live in a matrix that isn't colored DOS text.

It's a .exe

Would run it in a Virtual Machine if my computer worked.

Based on previous "creations" from Lois, I'm probably gonna have to run the file in compatibility mode for Millennium Edition..

Logged

Listen carefully. I don't have much time, and I only have 462 characters left. I'm a scientist from Area 52 (Area 51 was used to draw attention from Area 52, where the aliens were ACTUALLY stored) who was working on neural interfacing with networked devices. In an experiment gone wrong, I accidentally uploaded my mind to the internet. In the 2 seconds I had before my mind scrambled itself with the world's network traffic, I was able to store this snippet in this random internet signature. If you're reading this, let the world know tha