Category Archives: Relationship Safety & Security

“Everybody is looking for validation, no matter who you are, and I think that’s a need of the human condition – to look for affection or recognition or validation.” – Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu Being The Safe Place For Your … Continue reading →

Several years ago, I wrote an article titled “So Did You Mean It When You Said,” asking if you were serious when you vowed, “For better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health,” and so forth. It remains, … Continue reading →

We all have needs: both physical and emotional. Some of these needs are met through other people, particularly in intimate relationships. We become quickly frustrated when our needs are not met. When our needs are not met for a length … Continue reading →

Are you a team player? Successfully overcoming problems in a marriage is more often than not related to the ability of both spouses to see the marriage as something bigger than either one of them, and even bigger than the … Continue reading →

Boundaries in marriage pose challenges to many. Even as I began to understand Personal Boundaries, I am still stunned by what happens with a couple in a committed relationship. People constantly tell me that they can get along with anyone except their … Continue reading →

“That is my desk. Please leave it alone.” “No, it’s my desk, and I’ll use it whenever I please.” Until now, this series has focused on more clear-cut personal boundaries, including property ownership. But what happens when ownership is shared: more … Continue reading →

“That is my desk. Please leave it alone.” “If you do that again, I will leave.” “I will not let myself be treated this way.” Have you ever said these things, or something similar? Most of us have, which is good. … Continue reading →

Have you ever felt upset? What about: Angry? Indignant? Frustrated? Resentful? Battered? Agonized? Furious? I think that we all have. These emotions are part of the human experience. They are also signs of a Boundary Invasion. Now that we know what Boundaries … Continue reading →

“That doesn’t feel good.” “Dammit, stop that!” “I’m leaving!” Have you ever said any of the above, or something very similar? I think that we all have. These statements are Defending Your Boundaries. How do we choose the appropriate defense … Continue reading →

“He keeps crossing my boundary!” “She thinks I’ll put up with this.” “Why do I always let people take advantage of me?” “Why can’t I say no?” “I try to be nice, but all I get in return is more … Continue reading →