Tuesday, November 29, 2016

As many of you know, I was diagnosed with cancer in July, underwent a bilateral mastectomy and am now journeying through chemotherapy. Upon my news, my dear friend delivered a bag of various Juice Plus+ chewable gummies. Upon receiving them, I tasted one and knew it would become part of my daily diet – they are THAT tasty!

I digress. If you’re anything like me, bad habits are hard to break, and I have struggled my whole life to remember to take vitamins and other supplements on a daily basis. They were often large capsules that aggravated my gag reflex, or tablets with a powdery after-taste. Who would look forward to that?! Juice Plus+ chewable gummies have become something I look forward to eating, and so do my children. So much so, I keep them hidden in a cupboard out of reach.

Juice Plus+ products have made all the difference for me. Just yesterday, my oncologist declared she has seen improvements in my labs, even though I’m being treated with chemo. While reviewing the numbers with me, she stated, “I can tell you’re doing something.” Secondly, we are a family of 6, and while ‘the ick’ was going around and back again in the passing weeks, I have miraculously remained healthy. Considering I am highly immune-compromised while going through chemotherapy, it simply reinforced my beliefs in the Juice Plus+ products.

As you’ve read, my journey from being a skeptic, to a believer, to a distributor of Juice Plus came about naturally. My story isn’t a sales pitch, but instead a passion. I have spent much of the last 5 months going through medical school so-to-speak, learning about cancer, nutrition, and the healing benefits of plants.

Did you know?!

I was introduced to Juice Plus simply because a friend heard I was sick and wanted me to try a supplement that was all natural and composed of whole foods, not chemicals. Prior, she never attempted to sell me, only help me. But me being me, I am all about facts, not opinions -- I researched the heck out of Juice Plus+ products. And to my surprise there are over 20 clinical studies on Juice Plus+ from great universities like Vanderbilt, Yale, University of Maryland, etc. In these studies, the results confirmed all the rave reviews. I learned it is NOT a supplement, but rather it’s a whole-foods-based nutrition product that contains 30 fruits and veggies in a capsule, shake or gummy, that are readily absorbed in your body to help bridge the gap of what fruits and veggies you are actually eating and what you should be eating.I did not decide to become a distributor overnight. Quite frankly, I signed up with the intention of receiving discounts on my own orders, but I found myself raving about Juice Plus to people all the time. I genuinely want to help people be healthier, properly educated on nutrition and encourage healthier living. I want to hear similar health transformation stories of people in my community.Visit my website to hear videos from experts and see the studies done on Juice plus.Feel free to contact me if you want to learn more!* For every adult order, your children receive the chewable gummies (up to 18 years of age) for free! To receive a discount (which helps pay for your own Juice Plus)

Sunday, November 27, 2016

In the midst of a few bad days, there were more days of joy, discovery, warmth, old friends, new friends and good food. You were a wonderful month. I feel more and more blessed every single day.So, thank you November.

Happy Thanksgiving to you, my precious family and friends - thank you for being the warming sun to my soul!

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

I’ve come to
a point in my life that I don’t think of vegetarians and vegans as “crazy
hippies” or “wackos” anymore.I know right? I’m so mature now! Now
I just see them as people wanting a different lifestyle for themselves. Most of
them are just regular people making choices in their life just like the rest of
us. Occasionally you’ll get the activist that throws paint on a fur coat … but
every lifestyle has its extremists, right?

Since my cancer diagnosis, I’ve
done a nose dive into nutrition. I have been, and continue to, research
disease-fighting foods, people who have foregone pharmaceutical drugs and turned
to nutrition for healing, and the difference in America’s food consumption
compared to other countries, whose heart disease and cancer stats are minimal
to none.

So, I’ve taken to the “vegan” challenge, an entirely plant-based diet. Consequently, my family is also eating amoreplant-based diet. However, you’ll have to pry a tuna steak out of my
husband’s cold, dead hands! We’ve been eating less meat and
more quinoa over the years, so the concept of eating less meat and more
plant-based foods hasn’t been an entirely foreign concept.

Now, whether you’re a carnivore,
omnivore, vegetarian, vegan, pescetarian, etc., I think you owe it to yourself
to make a conscious decision
about what you eat. Understand and be aware of your food. You already try new
foods, new recipes, and new restaurants from time-to-time. Therefore you’re
already used to making yourself smarter about food. However, if you’re at all
like me, you probably grew up on a “meat and potatoes” style diet. Classic meat
protein as the central feature on the plate, likely a potato or other starch as
the main side, and then maybe a secondary vegetable or salad to “round out the
plate.”

Over the last few years, I
thought I knew a lot about food in general. I’ve tried more fruits and
vegetables in the last 10 years than I can ever remember doing in the past. In
hindsight, I was so incredibly uneducated and likely so are you (no offense).
Some of the documentaries I wanted are listed below. It’s enlightening and
makes me feel more in charge of my own life. We all deserve that. So, do me
(and yourself) a favor and start (or continue) your food education by watching
these documentaries.

Forks Over Knives examines the profound claim that most, if not
all, of the degenerative diseases that afflict us can be controlled, or
even reversed, by rejecting our present menu of animal-based and processed
foods. The major storyline in the film traces the personal journeys of a pair
of pioneering yet under-appreciated researchers, Dr. T. Colin Campbell and Dr.
Caldwell Esselstyn.

Part sociological experiment and part adventure comedy, Vegucated follows
three meat- and cheese-loving New Yorkers who agree to adopt a vegan diet for
six weeks. Lured by tales of weight lost and health regained, they begin to
uncover the hidden sides of animal agriculture that make them wonder whether
solutions offered in films like Food, Inc. go far enough. This
entertaining documentary showcases the rapid and at times comedic evolution of
three people who discover they can change the world one bite at a time.

exposes shocking secrets the diet, weight loss
and food industry don't want you to know about; deceptive strategies designed
to keep you coming back for more. Find out what's keeping you from having the
body and health you deserve and how to escape the diet trap forever.

“Crazy Sexy Cancer, the documentary film I wrote and directed (and my
loving husband edited), premiered at the SXSW Film Festival and then later
aired on TLC and OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network. In 2003, when I was a
31-year-old actress and photographer, I was diagnosed with a rare and incurable
stage IV cancer. Weeks later I began filming my story. Taking a seemingly
tragic situation and turning it into a creative expression, I share my cancer
journey with courage, strength and lots of humor. This is truly where my
mission, passion and work began…

As experimental treatment was my only option, I became determined to
find answers where there were none. Traveling across the country and
interviewing experts in alternative medicine, I dove headfirst into a
fascinating and often hilarious holistic world. Along the way, I met other
vivacious young women who were determined to become survivors and included them
in my documentary. Their stories are as poignant and exciting as the women who
tell them. As my journey progressed, I realized that healing is truly about
living rather than fighting.

Crazy Sexy Cancer is more than a thought-provoking documentary; it’s an
attitude! It’s about rising to the challenge of life and turning lemons into champagne.”

Now wait,before you raise the meat shields
and say it’s an attack on your lifestyle; it really isn’t. We learn about
proteins, nutrition, factory farming, morality, and choices I need to make onmyjourney. It’s not an attack on
anybody, it doesn’t say one way is right and another way wrong. But it does arm
you with knowledge about what you put in your body. My theory is this: if you
can’t go vegan, maybe you can become vegetarian. If you can’t be vegetarian,
perhaps you can avoid red meats and opt for chicken and fish. Any step, no
matter how small, is a step in the right direction. Ultimately, it’s about
improving your health and that of your family, and hopefully minimizing the
suffering of animals.

Getting cancer changed my lifestyle
immediately. I began researching an alkaline cancer-fighting diet and found
plant-based diets to be fairly comparable and not unrealistic. Plus, I have
felt great. Strong, even after chemo! I’ve since had zero desire to eat meat
and dairy products. Honestly, I look forward to my morning shakes, so much
so, that I go to bed at night thinking about them and wake up thinking about
them.

These
studies have certainly made me more aware of where I will choose to get products
from as well as how much I consume. Simply put, I’m making a conscious decision
about my food and my health. Don’t you owe it to yourself to do the same?

Sunday, November 20, 2016

After everything that's been going on lately, I sure could use a getaway. I'm craving mountain air and cozy cabins and snow in my hair and lots of exploring. I found these photos I took in Lake Tahoe ages ago, and they aren't helping.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

I’m not a survivor,
I thought to myself. I only had cancer
for like 5 minutes and they removed it. Surely you can’t class that as 'surviving.'

I mean, I was diagnosed with cancer in July, and my life
flashed before me as my doctor spoke on the other end of the phone line. I saw my children growing up. I saw myself
growing old with my husband. I saw happy holidays. My kids having kids. Family
time. And instead of that, I was going to die. I was dying. Or so I thought.

I broke the news to my family. And close friends. Drama
ensued, tears, hugs and well wishes. We’d agreed that we’d fight it together…a
team effort. And I was going to be a champion.

Then a few days later, I learned from my breast surgeon that
I was actually going to live, if we acted on it. We simply needed to cut out
the cancer, but to remove the tumor would mean removing most of my right breast.
But if we leave my particular breast tissue behind, my cancer type has the
highest rate of recurrence. Basically, if we’re being both active and
proactive, we need to remove both breasts. I thought about it for all of 2 minutes and I was still okay
with that scenario.

September came and went, surgery done. I had won. I was a
champion. I had beaten cancer.

And it was all just a bit easy really. And I felt a little
bit guilty. For making a fuss about nothing. I’d rocked the world of everyone
who loved me only to tell them a couple of months later that I’m ok. Nothing to
see here.

I felt like a fraud.

I thought about other people in the world who actually have
cancer. Like every day. Kids who are living with cancer. Proper cancer. Not the ‘here today,
gone tomorrow’ cancer that I had.

I thought about those who fought it for years to defeat it.
Years. True survivors.

I wasn’t a survivor.

But then came treatment and my perspective changed on what it means to be a 'survivor.'

Despite reading up on the side effects and the vast
education online and from my Oncology team, nothing could have prepared me for
the harrowing toll of chemotherapy.

The sudden and shocking changes to my body.The pain. Oh, the pain in my bones!

The roller coaster of emotions.The burning in my hands and feet.The hot flashes, the chills, the gasping of breath.The too-awful-to-describe bathroom experiences.

And suddenly I don’t feel like a fraud anymore. I now feel like I have cancer. And sometimes I feel like I am dying.

I did have cancer and in reality, I didn’t cause a fuss about nothing. I’m dealing with a very real illness and it's sidekicks. The residual damage that cancer leaves with you – both the physical and the emotional – doesn’t go away immediately; I imagine that much of it sticks with you for a long while, possibly forever. It requires considerable effort and hard work to acknowledge the inevitable changes in life after cancer. And even more work to accept those changes.

I didn’t do any of that work at first. I didn’t accept any of the permanent changes coming my way. I didn’t even acknowledge that things had already changed. I honestly thought that things would just somehow magically go back to the way they were before.

But I persistently remind myself -- it could be worse. So much worse. Who needs body hair, breasts, sleep, comfort? I’m alive!

The difference between normal sick and cancer sick is that it ends pretty quickly and you bounce right back from it and usually forget about it a few days later. You’re not likely to be tortured with thoughts about that time you had the sniffles and took some cold and sinus pills. With chemo, all you have to do is recall the saline flush into your port, and you're nauseous all over again.

The past is still very visible in my rear view mirror, and the present staring at me, pressed right up against the windshield. I'm somewhere smack dab in the middle. At least I'm not at the beginning. The future truly is lookin’ pretty good from where I'm standing -- life after chemo. More joy than pain. More health than misfortune. More beauty than sorrow. More laughter than tears.

[Yawn] Rest easy tonight, friends! God has the night shift covered.

He has been avoiding naps lately. He says he "just can't nap." Killing me softly. 😩 I need a hug.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

I have been a Christian for most of my life, yet some days it
feels like I have just begun. There are days where I feel as if I’ve hardly
moved forward, and days where I feel like I’m doing okay.

Then there are days where I mourn the fact that we are
humans attempting to depict who Jesus is, and that none of us will ever get
that right.

In no way, shape or form am I in a position to preach to
anyone or judge anyone. And maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about. Ever.
Maybe I’m too emotional or feel things too deeply. It’s true that I'm not a
Biblical scholar or theologian, but I am a woman who loves Jesus deeply.

I believe that there is nothing we could say or do that
could ruin us in the eyes of God. I believe that w are loved truly.
Unconditionally. I believe there exists an overflow of grace, that
is quite literally never ending. Humanity has a hard time with grace, but Jesus
doesn’t.

A friend recently told me, “when you have been set free, you
are free indeed. Your fear, your shame, your disappointment may return over
time for a moment or two, but you don’t stay there and you don’t own that
anymore.” I just kept nodding my head while tears welled up in my eyes.

This kind of love terrifies me, and not in a way where I
feel threatened, but in the afresh recognition of both my finite smallness and
His infinite grandeur. Of His strength, and His might, and His woo’ing, unrelenting love.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Oh hey! I have some thoughts to share with you on this Sunday morning.

One of my favorite things about this little space here, is the diverse group of people I have come to know. You are an eclectic, unique, beautiful tribe of people - from different cities, countries, cultures, religions, belief systems, and walks of life. I LOVE that. It's seriously so rad! And I am honored - absolutely honored - that you come here. You take time out of your days, your busy schedules, your free time (you could be napping!!), to say hello. To offer encouragement and love. To ask questions and start conversations. That is freaking humbling. You keep me open-minded, open-hearted, compassionate, and curious. Thank you for that.

I've discussed my faith and beliefs here before. And I love the response I've gotten. So accepting, so loving. You've embraced me wholeheartedly for who I am, even if you don't agree with it, and I can't thank you enough. I hope I've, in some tiny way, done the same for you. It's beautiful to witness your kindness. And isn't that how the world should be? Understanding that we're all wonderful and worthy and different, and loving each other in those differences. If the world was more like all of you, whoa. It would be incredible. I want a world like that.

The truth is - I have a lot more to say and share. (I have a post coming this week about faith and women's equality) I have so much that is in my heart and on my mind. So much that I wrestle with on a daily basis, and so much that I am constantly questioning. My beliefs, while always growing and progressing, are important to me. My faith is part of who I am. I want to share freely and be straightforward. I just have so much to say and a lot of feels!

With that said, I also don't want to alienate people who believe differently. I want to respect that, and honor that. I always want to honor you, just like you honor me. It's a two-way street. My heart would break in half if someone felt excluded. So what's the balance? I really don't know, to be honest. I understand that this is my space and I should just say whatever I want! But... no. It's more than that. This has become a gathering place for my friends, old and new. And that means something to me. I want all of you to feel comfortable and valued - even if you feel differently about something. Because no one's opinion is more important. All of our voices matter. (I feel like I say a variation of that ALL the time and you're probably like OH my goshwill you shut up about it for two seconds but it is truth and I will say it forever!)

Anyway. All of that to say - when I do share things, particularly regarding my faith and beliefs, I am not trying to exclude anyone. I'm just telling my story. What I've experienced. What I've gone through. Maybe it'll help someone, or make them feel like they're not alone. Or maybe it will do nothing but sit in the void. (I'm starting to sound like Kathleen Kelly. But you guys, all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings!! AND I'm done)

Maybe, just maybe, you'll share your story and contribute your voice, too. I would love that. Just know that you are respected, and you are always welcome here.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

There are logic-defying emotions associated with cancer. They can't be defended or dissuaded, they have to be felt and slowly evolve. In the beginning of this journey, I never verbalized it, but I blamed myself. Clearly, I wasn't a good enough person. I must have caused it. Maybe even deserved it.

Though my cancer journey is nowhere near it's end, it's near healed me in ways I didn't know needed healing. This cancer experience of mine has become penance. Penance for what I've failed to do, for my feelings, for my thoughts. It has given me insight into others -- their fear, their suffrage, their isolation, their pain, their brokenness, their shame, their guilt, their embarrassment.

It allowed me to dig deep within myself. It allowed me to see the raw and stripped down me. It's taught me a priceless lesson -- one I somewhat always believed true, but now feel deep in the bellows of my soul -- external beauty holds no true value. Before, I never truly grasped how valuable I was beyond my physical until my external beauty abandoned me nearly overnight.

Events happen in life, not because we deserve them. Good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people...all day, every day. We can't control the things that happen but by accepting them as they are, we can swim across them with greater ease because the Lord is our strength, and we are not required to be dragged down by their weight.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy and with my song I praise Him." Psalm 28:7

We are divine because we are made by the Divine. We are extraordinary because we were created by the Extraordinary. We are love because we were made in His image and He is the epitome of love. We lack for nothing because we were given everything.

My cancer experience actually gave me more than it took, and allowed God to heal me in places I never could have reached on my own.