The Problem With Faking an Orgasm

Lila here~ I just read about another sex surveyrecently conducted by IndianaUniversity.In thestudy, 85% of men reported that their partner had climaxed the last time theyhad sex.However, only 64% of womensurveyed said they had reached orgasm the last time they had sex.That’s a pretty big gap between the men’sperception and the women’s reality if you ask me.

Why would someone lie about having anorgasm?Although women are the biggestculprits, men lie about it too (although it’s a little harder *no pun intended*for men to get away with the lie).

They’re afraid of hurting their partner’s feelings

The woman might want to make the man feel better about his performance

They feel uncomfortable giving honest feedback

They feel awkward communicating about such an intimate subject

They’re tired and just want to go to sleep

As you may have noticed, all of thereasons listed come down to one thing:communication.Our society is soperformance driven that an inordinate amount of pressure is put on men andwomen to climax:not too soon, not toolong, more than once at a time.You nameit, there’s somebody who feels pressured about their sexual performance, andspecifically their orgasms.

When my partner and I first got together,I faked an orgasm one time.I know,shocking, isn’t it?Well, I was youngand stupid, and I had bought into the idea that if a woman doesn’t climax, itmeant the sex wasn’t good.I reallyliked this guy and didn’t want to hurt his feelings.He was (and still is) great in bed, but itwas just one of those nights that I wasn’t going to come.

The next morning, he casually said, “Youknow, you don’t ever have to fake an orgasm with me.”BAGGED!!I was mortified, but I sucked it up and told him it was because I didn’twant to make him feel bad.He set meright at ease, letting me know that he understood that not all women come everytime they have sex.It took all thepressure off, and from that moment on I never faked another orgasm.

Communication is critical to having greatsex.Open and honest communication iseven more intimate than sexual intercourse in our society, which is prettymessed up if you think about it.Justtry it though, and watch what it does to improve your sex life.

The problem with faking an orgasm is thatit’s an indication that your lines of communication aren’t as open and honestas they need to be for a successful relationship to grow.To improve your lines of communication, Irecommend being clear and loving while you’re having sex.“I love it when you touch me just likethat.”You can also start to talk aboutit at other times when you’re relaxed and communicating well.It may be that you’re particularly stressedout, and that makes it more difficult for you to climax.Or it may be that you’re just not that awareof what it takes to make you come.Practice makes perfect, and your partner can surely help!