Taking the easy way out, is what most of us do when faced with a choice. Yet, our mettle is tested and out abilities judged by how we stood up to be counted when the chips are down. Volunteering in class, for example, is always a tough proposition because there is a very high probability of failing in the assigned task. Yet, notice that the ones who usually volunteer to answer questions, take on a challenge are often the more brilliant ones or the real daring ones and occasionally an average joe who possibly has a more incisive motive. The rest of us do end up having a hearty laugh or a feeling of awe at the outcome of such daring. What we do not gain though, is the learning from the first hand experience, the opportunity to give ourselves a chance to try something different and display our inner strength no matter what the outcome.

Commitment is an essential trait of all successful people. As they say ‘when the going goes tough the tough get going’. Sharing messages on social media, trolling people, liking and disliking matter posted by others are simple and passive action. The challenge is to put into practice the exhortations in the messages. This means taking the initiative, being prepared to get bruised, being ready to learn from mistakes and giving all one has got. Success is not guaranteed but learning sure is. While failure could be a real possibility it is in the participation and scrimmage that one gains experience.

Daring is another trait of trailblazers. ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained’ is another old adage. There is always risk in attempting something new. However, if one has prepared well, you increase the chances of success. Yet, one can never know how much one has learned unless one dares and ventures to attempt and find out. Daring improves your self confidence, expands your own daring zone and most of all gives you bragging rights to say I tried it. While people would often only recall the winners, you would always remember every attempt you made. You will never forget the lessons you learned, the success you enjoyed along the way and can proudly flaunt the bruises from the attempts to prove that you participated and didn’t stand on the sidelines to clap for others.

Try these:

Make a list of all the things you wanted to do in your life. Make it exhaustive and vivid. Remember that when visualizing, imagining and dreaming you just let your mind soar, your passion come alive and there are no constraints at all. Now identify 3- 5 of the most passionate dreams you have listed and work out a plan to attain them within a time frame set by you.

In this week you are to do the following:

Write a letter to the editor of a newspaper about some social issue that you are passionate about.

Make an attempt to overcome some fear you have e.g. holding a snake / donating blood because you fear the prick of a needle / learning a new sport

Proactively bring about a positive change in your behavior that others notice and appreciate.

Buy 2 surprise gifts and give it to some random person who is least expecting it.

Monetary riches are tangible, easy to identify and hence envied by many. It also has tremendous value, influence and power for it is a common denominator for transactions. As a result, monetary riches assume importance, play a significant role in daily life and amassing it is a prime objective of human beings. However, money has its severe limitations; it cannot be traded for happiness, peace and bliss. On the other hand, if we looked around and identified our friends almost of all them would are your friends not because they are rich but because you find happiness, peace and bliss when with them. Your friends are perhaps the best riches you can ever possess.

However, you can also be rich in words, deeds and spirit by focusing on very personal and intangible riches that you can cultivate and personalize.

Adopt good habits – We humans are creatures of habit. We tend to repeat, retrace and respond to daily happenings in almost identical fashion. Our attitudes, our beliefs and our behavior is largely influenced by the habits we have adopted and cultivated. If we cultivate the right habits we would be rich beyond measure because our responses would be exquisitely carved out, our manners and etiquettes would be prim and proper and above all we would be affable to others. Your habits enrich your interaction with others and in turn they value you.

Embrace lofty values – Your values would determine and influence your habits as also how you evolve. Your values would also determine the type of influence you exert over others for leadership is often an outcome of being steadfast to core values that are exhibited in thought word and deed. Values are like a compass that points you the right direction. Your value system determines your convictions, ability to hold your own even in the face of stiff opposition and your determination to keep going even when the odds are stacked against you. In embracing your values you enrich your spirit and your ideals.

Have a big vision– Most of us meander through life simply because we do not have a big enough vision for ourselves. We work because we have to earn a living. We then end up hating our job, our routine and work becomes a drudgery. On the other hand those who progress in life, envision themselves doing work for a larger purpose. They do not see themselves as a mere cog in the wheel but aim to be the most important cog in the wheel that keeps the whole machinery going. Their big vision enables them to work with zeal, put in more effort and grow in their jobs and their life. With a big vision one can display enterprise, creativity, commitment and tangible worth. They enrich their own future and life by thinking big and widening their vision.

Stand by your commitments – There is nothing as valuable as your word. A person who cannot stand by his commitment loses respect, is viewed as unreliable and is largely shunned by those who have had a bitter taste of his/ her false promises. A person who can stand by his/ her commitment gets endorsed, is respected and is trusted. Being trusted is a richness that no amount of money can buy.

Be disciplined – Our failures are not because we are not competent but because we lack the ability to be disciplined. Our ability to stick to our plans, our ability to keep going even when we do not seem to be succeeding, our ability to adopt a tough path so as to get closer to our goals require us to be disciplined. Discipline is the only way to align our values, our vision, our habits and our commitments so as to succeed in life. When we are disciplined we have an extra ordinary control over our own life. Discipline is not a virtue we can ever buy and yet it is a richness that each of us can nurture and cultivate within us.

Try this:

It is now midway through the first month of the year. You can still write down your resolutions, modify the resolutions written, write down an action plan to succeed in fulfilling your resolutions. Keep the above points in mind when doing this exercise.

What is your vision for a better city that you live in? What commitment can you make to ensure you contribute to that vision? What habits will you adopt to ensure you make significant strides towards contributing to your vision? What is the one discipline you will follow diligently to ensure that your habits and commitments are synced with your vision and values so that you can make a difference to the city you live in.

One of the big millstones that weighs down and defeats people, is the regret that they have of their past and their mistaken belief, that they have missed the boat to success. It is true that every one of us would have something in the past that we would desperately want to edit and redo; yet the past is only a mirage that cannot be revisited but we must not convert that into a regretful flashback put on permanent loop. On the contrary, successful people have build their success by learning the lessons from their past, being cautious not to repeat the mistakes and occasionally tweaking the lessons learnt to make another attempt. (Read this to get insight of the FedEx billionaire Fred Smith http://tinyurl.com/ln9xxbq )

In fact, your past provides you an excellent reference point to value your achievements. Whatever your failures, disappointments, frustrations and / or regrets you are here today reading this post because your past could not define you as a defeatist nor could it destroy your strong will nor could it deter you from pursuing your dreams and neither did you concede defeat to the past failures. Your past has made you more determined, disciplined and daring; in short it has strengthened you.

The challenge now is to make optimum use of the strength that you posses. This can be done by consciously working on your GAME

YourGoals – Unless one has an objective and a plan, there would be neither purpose not progress. Well thought out, written goals will provide us the direction and the roadmap to march ahead. Never forget that the a journey of a 1000 miles begins with the first step. Writing down your goals is the first step in your march towards success. You must have goals for varied dimensions of your life be it personal goals, professional goals, academic goals, self development goals, relationship goals, spiritual goals etc. Writing down your goals will bring clarity, ensure attentiveness, help monitor your progress and provide you motivation and self worth to pursue it with passion.

YourAttitude – Like New Year resolutions that we all cynically believe are meant to be broken, even written down goals will remain on paper with no progress being made unless one adopts the right attitude to attain the goals. Progress could be slow, impediments could be many, there could be occasional failures and disappointments but remember every successful person has overcome all these because they had the can do, will do attitude. No goal is too big or too small. In fact the small goals are the stepping stone to success for with every small goal attained you would have traversed many mile forward to attaining your larger goal. Yes you too can eat an Elephant slice by slice!

YourMotivation – Even the most disciplined individual will have to confront the demons of self doubt, slow progress, discouragement from others and at times even the ignominy of ridicule and taunts from critics. One must be able to identify both an extrinsic motivation and more importantly and intrinsic motivation to provide the energy, the nourishment and the impetus to keep marching ahead ignoring all protestations of mind and body. Your goals must exceed your grasp for that is when one is motivated to aim higher, reach further and progress beyond one’s comfort zone and discover a new world, a new destination and a new person in you.

YourEfforts – Now that you have read so far, it is time you actually walked the talk. So write down your goals, the positive words /adjectives that could determine / outline the attitude needed and identify the motivation that will drive you to attain your goals. Don’t forget that your goals are not mere statements of good intent but definitive, positively articulated tangible outcomes. Ensure that each one of your goals is a SMART goal i.e. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time bound. By now you have the drift of what is expected of you; not platitudes of good intent but a tango of mind and body that will bring you closer to realizing your full potential, leverage your hidden strengths and give you the euphoria of success.

Who cares what happened in the past? The GAME is on…this moment is as good a time as any to begin and win !

Try these:

I often get emails (actspot@gmail.com) requesting help in finding the best way to improve an individual’s English Language Skills. Here are some ways but you will have to convert them into your own personal goals. Cultivate the right attitude, find the appropriate motivation and put in your efforts to progress in mastering English.

Look up words in the dictionary and also check for alternative in a Thesaurus

Most English language newspapers have a recreation page with crosswords , comic strips, other resources. Make it a habit to consciously attempt some of these daily. This is a fun way to learn new words and the meanings.

Cultivate English speaking friends and make a conscious effort to speak in English. Encourage your friends to correct you so that you get feedback and can improve. Make a determined effort not to speak in your native tongue.

Watch English movies with sub titles so that in case you do not understand the spoken language you can still grasp the words from the sub titles.

Write one page atleast, every day. This could be in the form of a dairy of daily happenings or it could be your thoughts and feelings or it could be a summary of your reading or random thoughts and musings. Once you start writing, you would be well on your way to becoming excellent in English for that is the culmination of the GAME you started and your Efforts will pay off.

What are the passions you always wanted to indulge in but never had the time / resources / courage to pursue? ( e.g. learn dancing , go hiking, visit Europe, write my own blog, work with an NGO, start my own business, give lectures, become a crusader for a cause etc.) Select a couple of them and put it in your list of Goals. Use the SMART goal formula to make these attainable goals. You should now be able to definitely attain your goals within the time-frame you have set.

Go through this list of positive words, that can trigger your imagination to determine other words, which will help you have the right motivation and attitude to achieve your goals.

When December comes, we subconsciously review the year gone by and hope against hope that the New Year has better tidings for us. The fact is that each one of is solely responsible for the progress we make in our life, notwithstanding events and circumstances beyond one’s control that occasionally crop up and derail even the best of plans. December is also the time when many of us make resolutions for the New Year, most of it never written down. When next December comes we regret the opportunities gone by, the noble intentions never executed and keep fervently wishing we could turn the clock back. Alas, a year would have passed by then; and we continue to rue.

This is an opportune moment to make plans, commit to them and execute them so that next year around this time, you would have achieved much more than you ever expected to. However it is also important to realize that this is the best time to also move beyond the conventional listing that most people do and instead list out personal priorities related to your interests, passions, hobbies and yearnings. So this is the perfect time to get going on ensuring you attain your happiness quotient by deft planning and execution.

The most important ritual that one has to necessarily follow before outlining one’s plans for the future is to spend enough time ‘thinking’ about what one wants to achieve. Thinking must be deliberate, reasoned, clearly visualized and actionable milestones identified. The milestone’s will be critical to motivate you to act even if the results don’t seem too encouraging to begin with. E.g. those who plan to run a marathon or plan to lose weight would initially find the going very tough, but strict self discipline would definitely show results. Thinking also ensures that we don’t operate out of a whim or fancy but it is a conscious choice made. This makes us more committed to the activity we have chosen.

In preparing for the future, ensure that there is ample time allotted to personal passions, interests and yearnings. Life is not about just hard work towards a materialistic goal; rather life must be lived with panache, verve and fulfillment. These aspects are individualistic, self determined and uniquely experienced; provide for it in your plans so that you never regret not venturing into it. More than anything else, what we plan must be written down and only then can one periodically review progress made and corrective action initiated. When we are disappointed that we have not done anything substantial or failed to even begin something we have no one but ourselves to blame. As is said ‘ well begun is half done’ so begin well by writing down your resolutions and taking courage to begin and being self disciplined to keep going.

Next year this time, smile at the results; pat yourself on your back for the progress made and don’t forget to once again start anew !

Try this:

Decide to give up one bad habit that you have in the coming year.

Focus on 3 things you always wanted to do but never did till date. Ensure that in the coming year you do at least one of these activities that you have listed.

Choose one of the following or decide on something special for yourself to be done in the coming year

Preparing a PPT on your life in 25 slides and using a maximum of 50 photographs

Volunteering for a completely off beat social service activity e.g volunteering at prisons

Throwing a surprise party for some one of your choice.

Attempting something that no one ever expected you to do e.g. keeping a pet / bungee jumping/ writing your personal blog etc.

Each of us can see the physical changes that each of us goes through but the subtle changes and evolution that we go through mentally, psychologically, behaviorally elude us. While we gather our academic credentials that is no conclusive evidence of our intellect, just as our acceptability by those around us is not proof of our attitude and temperament. What is indisputable is the fact that if we introspect, we will be able to recognize the changes in us. The changes could be the result of new learning, experience, conscious decisions or thrust upon us by unavoidable circumstances. Interestingly the changes we notice now are still within our grasp and we can with determination and effort change them to a desirable state. E.g. if you are overweight a good diet and exercise regime can often yield positive result or if you are frequently criticized for being late, with a stronger will and determination you can become punctual.

With one fact established that one can change, evolve and transform to being an even better person than what we are, the challenge before us is to find the right way to go about it. Here are a few techniques to attain this goal.

Appreciate the person that you have evolved into. Look back at your childhood, school days and the carefree youth you were/ are. Reflect on the various dreams, career options, plans that you contemplated. Examine them from the standpoint of where you are today and what you have achieved and don’t hesitate to also brood on the chances you missed, the failures you encountered, the discouragements you faced. Be aware of the achievements you have attained, the odds you have conquered and the encouragement and support you received from various quarters. Notice that you are thinking only about yourself, never comparing yourself with anyone else; for sure you are proud of whatever you are at this moment.

Be aware of your strengths and weakness. No one is perfect and you are no exception. Be conscious of the numerous strengths you posses no matter how insignificant it may seem. Your ability to march to a different drummer or act very differently from others may have evoked sharp criticism from others but that is your strength; value it.

Telescope your imagination to visualize the ideal you. If you noticed in the first two steps your focus was on identifying, appreciating and acknowledging your own growth, success and potential that you have leveraged. If a large part of that has happened without a conscious decision from your side, with adequate effort but not necessarily all your effort, imagine how much more you can achieve if you are focused, planned and eager to achieve your dreams. So now it is time for you to give free reign to your imagination, plan to work on your passions, be daring to walk on unexplored paths, believe in yourself. Remember you are limited only by your imagination; if you can dream it you can achieve it.

Outline your goals and ambitions. If you have consciously and deliberately identified various opportunities that you hope to exploit, it won’t happen unless you specify them as goals to achieve and ambitions to fulfill. This is a crucial step for it requires not just imagination but also logical thinking, pragmatic decision making and courage of conviction. It is chalking out the route map to attaining your goals that will pose problems, create doubts, shake your confidence and challenge your daring. However if you can visualize success and are prepared to strive hard and beat the odds, the only thing stopping you will be YOU.

Resolve to change, begin the change and evolve into the change you seek. Now that you are ready to explore your potential, harness your abilities and go for broke, make a firm resolution not to give up unless you have given yourself a fair chance and ample time. Once your psyche has been tuned to perfection, begin as planned and continue with faith. Results will take time, but pay attention to the small changes that will motivate you, listen to the voice of reason that may whisper to you at times so that you can make adjustments but beware of the loud roar of disillusionment and disenchantment that can derail your plans. Discernment is essential for you to ensure you act with reason. Watch yourself evolve into the person you are capable of being!

Try this

List one goal each for the following aspects of your life

Physical fitness

Financial stability

Social awareness

Family bonding

Personal growth

Pick out one activity that you would like to be proficient in that your spouse or family member dislikes but is forced to do. Eg. Washing dishes / cooking / record keeping etc. Now outline a plan to ensure you can play an effective supporting role in discharging the same duties so as to help / assit the other person.

Outline 3 activities that will help you bond better with your family especially teenagers in the house. If you are a teen, list out 3 activities that will enliven your presence in the house and pleasantly surprise those at home. Eg. If you are sloppy in arranging your room perhaps you can resolve to be more tidy and organized

We are often envious of others, particularly if they have a skill set or ability or demonstrate an aptitude to do things in much better way than most people, including us. We are in awe of others who showcase an exceptional skill or perform with panache or come up with an extraordinary feat. Far too often we also rationalize that they are talented, blessed and or lucky to have that gift and we rue our fate that we are insignificant as compared to them. The crucial mistake that we make in judging extraordinary achievers while belittling our own capabilities is that we conveniently overlook the hard work, commitment and zeal that the achievers harness to make that extra difference that attracts success.

Here is how you too can pep up your life and your life, both personal and professional by getting that EXTRA zing into all what you do.

Enlarge your vision – We are limited by our thinking and hence it is imperative that we enlargen our vision and see beyond. This means we need to imagine possibilities, learn to appreciate people around, accept the situations as they develop, anticipate changes and become aware of happenings within us and around us. E.g. Try to find opportunities in problems / when doing a task imagine something more that you can contribute to it which will make the work excellent

Xplore creatively – When in difficulty we delve into our imagination and come with alternative solutions to our immediate problems. All we need to do now is harness this ability we have, to proactively ready ourselves for anticipated changes. It also provides us an opportunity to explore our own hidden strengths, discover new opportunities and create openings for us to progress. E.g. You love wildlife but do not know how to contribute to it. Have you explored options like adopting a wild animal in the local zoo or sponsoring someone to go for a jungle safari

Transform yourself – We are all creatures of habits, followers of routines, comfortable with the tried and tested. The extra edge we give ourselves begins by making a conscious effort to transform ourselves and altering ourselves to blend in / adapt to developments happening around us. E.g. Change your style of dressing/ attire/ attitude / dietary habits

Respond with alacrity – How we respond to events, happenings, situations and people would give us that extra edge in being noticed and being entrusted with greater responsibilities. Our responses would also hone our skills to think logically & creatively, act decisively and take responsibility. E.g When you not notice a social problem be it indiscriminate littering or a water leakage or non functional street lights do you only lament at the problem or do you contact the concerned authorities?

Act now –Most times we have good intent but lack the will power to execute our intent. Other times we begin in great earnest only to slowly succumb to our laziness, disheartenment and / or lure of other attractive alternatives. Frequently we find ourselves indecisive about how to move forward. Consequentially we remain in a limbo, suffer from paralysis by analysis and hope our inaction will result in some sort of solution favorable to us. The winners in life have always had to suffer losses and yet managed to overcome their defeats before they embraced success. Start NOW… no matter how you feel.

Try this:

Find a productive way to spend 3 hours every week contributing to a cause / project/ activity that will have a positive impact on the social environment around you. E.g Spending time at an old age home / orphanage / hospice or spreading awareness about environmental concerns or educating the underprivileged etc.

Choose from some of the options given below (you can add your own points too) to choose some action you will take immediately to add that little EXTRA to your life and make a difference

Take a second look at the picture before you read further. Is that a male or a female protagonist? Do you see YOURSELF in it?

There are times in our life when we ask some difficult to answer questions of ourselves. Who am I? Why was I born? What am I supposed to do with my life? How can I make a success of my life? What are my value systems? What motivates me? What influence do I have on others? If you haven’t asked these questions of yourself perhaps this is the best time to ponder over them. The answers will become the blueprint for you to create yourself anew!

No matter what your age, gender, background or status in life you can still improve, grow, change and create the person you want to be. Here is how you go about it.

Think out of the box – Either due to peer pressure or a lack of self confidence, most of us have trodden the beaten path, often to our omnipresent regret. So now is the time to dust the cobwebs in the mind, crank up the shaft of imagination and get the engine of life started. You should now identify your passions, imagine varied possibilities, visualize the happiness you can embrace and try to touch the pot of gold at the end of that imaginative rainbow. To make it more meaningful channelize your imagination into broad categories. It could be categories like personal happiness, comfort and security, my indulgences, philanthropic initiatives etc or it could be simply personal goals, financial goals, professional goals, self growth goals etc.

Sketch your own blueprint – Now that you have imagined it and possibly embraced and touched your dreams figuratively, it is time you actually sketched it out literally and figuratively. This goes a little beyond writing down your goals and is not so difficult to sketch, just in case you are worried that you are no Picasso. All you need to do is take the effort of identifying specifics about your dream and you can either physically create a dream book or have it done as a PPT. The key is to get the specifics clearly visualized. E.g. Don’t say I have a dream car that I hope to own but instead find the picture of your dream car and paste it.

Assemble the resources needed– If you have started on your dream book or the dream PPT, you have assembled the most crucial resource. If you haven’t done this, stop reading further and at least open a new PPT and call it MY Dream Outline. The key resource that actually limits our dreams from taking wings is financial security; either lack of resources or the fear of going bust. So think long and hard on how best you can cope with this uncertainty. Jot this down too for now you have begun to assemble the brick and mortar required to give concrete shape to your personal blueprint. Now that you have got the right start don’t get bogged down by self doubt, fear of failure, lack of motivation, criticism or any form of negativity from forces within or outside. E.g. If you have identified that being a Chef is your dream but your family consists entirely of engineers, once you have put pictures of dreams menus, dream kitchen, the chef coat and perhaps even your dream eatery you will reinforce your self belief.

Begin from anywhere but begin – Lethargy and self doubt often paralyze good intention. They bring about rigor mortis in the living. The most common excuse for not giving life to your good intentions is that you do not know where to begin. Ever tried pushing a stationary car? It is tough to get it moving but once it gets the initial thrust it is easy to push it. The same principle of physics applies to life too. So the stress must be on beginning. Then keep that momentum going somehow. Look at the picture above and you will notice that the protagonist is sketching the left leg even though the right feet is still undone despite the rest of the right leg being fleshed out.

Give it the finishing touch with love – Sometimes we fail to live upto our expectations and it can deflate our ego / self confidence at other times we get irritated and frustrated and occasionally we just get over with the challenge we set ourselves as an antidote to our feeling of being a failure. No matter where we are in the continuum of our pursuit, the outcome even if half done must measure up to our standards of excellence. This is possible only if we enjoy what we do and inject a healthy dose of love in to doing what we want to succeed in. e.g. list out those tasks that are terribly boring for you but inevitable. Now visualize yourself doing an excellent job of the task and do it with that spirit. You will find a marked improvement in the end result. To give you a more tangible example have you ever gone through the process of covering your younger sibling or children’s school notebooks. After some time it is get boring, tedious and frustrating. If you simply see each neatly covered book as a a thing of beauty or if you can see the joy of the child when he/ she sees the neat pile of books your output will be fabulous.

Try this:

Identify 3 tasks that your mom or best friend does exceedingly well but something you haven’t ever tried. Your challenge is to attempt each of these tasks over the next 2 weeks and show improvement in each attempt.

Try and make a kite and try to fly it along with a group of children. (Ideally I suggest you try and make more than 1 kite so that you have one or two more spare kites just in case the first one gets cut loose or torn)