Earlier this month, the Random Creatures were called upon to go on the field exercise “Operation Participle Noun.” With barely a week’s notice, Number; Number; Phonetic letter, packed their bags, said goodbye to their families, and rolled out. The exercise was scheduled to last nearly a month and took place in the area near the west gate of post.

The approaching road march went efficiently despite an early navigation snag around the intersection of MacArthur and Patton streets. The convoy idled near the AAFES Burger King as Capt. Harold Smith rechecked his approach orders and compared them to his maps. 2nd Lt. Adam Johnson took the time to display ingenuity and personal courage by checking the idle lower enlisted for ear protection.

“I don’t know how other units do it, but here in Number; Number; Phonetic Letter; Random Creatures, we do it right. And, I’m not talking about that nonsense side of the ear protection that lets you hear some stuff because its got a hole in it. I’m talking about full on ear protection. That’s how we Random Creatures do things,” Johnson said.

From there, the soldiers of Company Phonetic Letter eventually moved into the wilderness, where they established communications with other Phonetic Letters, threw up their operations tent, and took a break for a quick MRE while sitting on their kevlars.

From earlier this month until now, the soldiers of Number; Number; Phonetic Letter; Random Creatures, called this their home, with the staff NCO’s only heading home for a shower every other weekend. During their stay, the Random Creatures played an integral part in the Corps-wide field exercise. Days were spent clearing adjacent fields of imaginary foes; nights were spent in fox holes with only their thoughts to keep them company.

The exploits of the Random Creatures stands in stark contrasts to the total shit bags in Other Random Creatures, who didn’t do anything but masturbate in the front seat of their HMMWVS while getting high on carbon monoxide exhaust and dust off.

“I am truly proud to have had this opportunity to serve my country and be a part of Phonetic Letter company!” said Sergeant First Class Brad Jackson.