by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I have never seen this mentioned in your column, but I'll bet it's an issue for others as it is for me.

I have been with my life partner for more than 15 years. When we kiss, he does not close his eyes. I have mentioned this to him several times. I told him that I feel he is cold, distant and lacking in passion when he kisses me with his eyes open. I told him it was like kissing my grandmother. While he periodically tries to close his eyes, he always seems to revert to kissing with his eyes open. He says he's more comfortable that way.

Have you or your readers run across this problem, and if so, how was it resolved? -- KISSLESS IN MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR KISSLESS: When you kiss, close YOUR eyes, then you'll spare yourself the upsetting knowledge that the person kissing you has his eyes open!

DEAR ABBY: I would like your advice on how to handle a very difficult and tacky announcement.

I received an "elopement announcement," and I'd like to know the proper etiquette for responding to it. We are friends of the bride's parents, but neither my husband nor I has ever met the bride. This is her second elopement.

We have spoken to several friends and our own adult children, none of whom have ever heard of an "elopement announcement."

How should my husband and I respond? -- FAITHFUL READER, WAYNE, N.J.

DEAR FAITHFUL READER: There is nothing "tacky" about the happy couple sending you an elopement announcement. (Just substitute the word "wedding" for "elopement.") What better way to advise family and friends of the news of their marriage?

Since an announcement is not an invitation, you are under no obligation to respond to it. However, since you know the bride's parents, it would be gracious to send a note or card to congratulate the newlyweds.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing to tell you about the most touching Christmas gift I have ever received. About a month ago, you printed a wonderful piece called "The Art of Marriage." The words touched me deeply, so I showed it to my fiance. He, too, was moved by it, so we posted the clipping on our refrigerator.

On Christmas morning, he insisted I save a particularly beautifully wrapped package to open last, saying it was his favorite gift for me. Inside, I found "The Art of Marriage," written in beautiful script on fancy paper, enlarged, in a gorgeous picture frame! It brought tears to my eyes.

We are to be married in September, and I know that the dearest gift I have ever received will be with us throughout our wonderful life together. Thanks so much for printing it. -- JENNY STONE, LOS ANGELES

DEAR JENNY: You're entirely welcome. Your fiance sounds like a gem. Please accept my best wishes for a long and happy marriage.

When I printed "The Art of Marriage," I didn't know who wrote it. However, many readers informed me that the author is Wilferd A. Peterson, and the essay appeared in his book, "The Art of Living Treasure Chest."

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)