Now everyone is running about, waving their arms in the air saying that baddies will be able to hack the ship’s mainframe and order it to attack itself or drive up the Thames and explode outside the Houses of Parliament.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I think it has bigger problems than that.

Such as: It’s designed to house 36 fast jets. None of which has yet been built.

It is designed to take our air power to parts of the world it would not ordinarily be able to reach.

It’s designed to put the fear of God and a bag full of bombs into the hearts of people who think they’re out of range.

Which means that our top brass really does believe that in ten or 20 years’ time, Britain will still be roaming round the world trying to bring democracy and cups of tea to a load of people who, as we’ve seen in recent times, don’t really want it.

AFTER dangerous gases used in aerosol sprays and fridges were banned, everyone expected the hole in the ozone layer to heal very quickly.

But that is not happening.

And now scientists have worked out why.

The process used to make decaffeinated coffee emits another sort of gas – if I wrote its name down it would fill up the rest of the newspaper – and it’s not good for our ozone protection barrier either.