Monthly Archives: January 2012

I have spent the last day and a half looking at the Beautypedia website. In my quest to take better care of myself I have decided to at least attempt to maybe wear makeup every once and a while. I realized that I hadn’t bought mascara in years. I have had new mascara, mind you, Faith gave me some Mary Kay mascara last year and my sister gave me a gift set the year before that had mascara. The thing is though that in recent years there have been a lot of changes in regards to mascara. There is plumping mascara, lengthening mascara, thickening mascara, waterproof mascara, non-clumping mascara, curling mascara and probably ten others that I didn’t mention. It’s a little much just for gunk to put on your eyelashes. I am not that picky, I want something that will stay on my eyelashes, mascara that separates my lashes and that I don’t have to use lighter fluid to get it off at night. Oh, I also have no need for huge, fake looking Spider Lady of the Black Night eyelashes either.

In the reviews on Beautypedia, I noticed that they were keeping track of which companies test their products on animals. I am actually surprised that so many companies are still doing this. Being the owner of two rabbits, I can’t reconcile hurting animals for the off chance someone might look a little better. My bunnies are sweet and loving, I would never want anything to happen to them. (Why yes, I did say bunnies. They are super adorable. Check out the pictures!)

My sweet bunnies, Cuba (left) and Dizzy (above).

I was happy to learn that Mary Kay and Revlon, the two cosmetic brands I have used the most in the recent past, do not test on animals. I was not happy to see that Neutrogena. Cover Girl, and a host of others still do animal testing. I am really disappointed with Neutrogena, which I have used since high school but no more. I am still on the hunt for a few things I need. I will probably stick with Mary Kay or Revlon, I have liked them before and like them even more now that I know they aren’t hurting my bunny friends.

I am not a crazy animal activist. PETA annoys me with their over the top reactions to things but I do love and care about animals and how they are treated. I donate money to animal rescues and charities. I do my best to help all animals and so, I will avoid buying products from companies that aren’t animal friendly. It’s not worth hurting another living creature for any reason and especially not for fake beauty.

Can you believe I am still packing up Christmas decorations? Ugh, I can’t and I can see them cluttering up my garage! Not last week but the week before I decided that I’d had enough of the decorations in the house. I did a massive search and seizure operation on the house, packing up as much as I could and moving all boxes and what was left out to the garage. My plan was to use the garage as a final staging area to sort and get the last stuff packed up. And, of course, that was supposed to happen last week. Guess what didn’t happen last week? Ding ding ding! Yep, you got it!

So, Monday was a holiday and we’d had a friend of Boo’s stay for a sleepover the night before. We went to the zoo and carried out the kid transfer there. By the time we got home I was sore and exhausted from all of the walking (and hills) at the zoo. Working on the garage didn’t even occur to me. Tuesday I actually got quite a bit done with organizing and stacking the boxes that were already packed. Wednesday I had big plans. I even announced, “hey, I am going to go out to the garage for a little while.” As usual, something else happened and I never made it out there. Thursday I wasn’t feeling well and talked myself out of sorting. Friday through Sunday we were busy doing weekend stuff.

Here we are, heading into the third week of January and my decorations aren’ t put away and I haven’t started my spring cleaning. It’s making me a little crazy. (Ok, Faith, I heard that. Fine, it’s making me crazier than I started, ok?) I need to organize the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom. My clothes on the shelves in the closet need to be refolded. I have drawers that need to be reorganized. I have papers to file and files to go through… the list goes on.

Patience is not a virtue that I am always able to maintain. I am years ahead of Sully in the patience department but I am not nearly as virtuous as I should be.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t stand in front of the stove chanting “c’mon, c’mon, c’mon’ waiting for the water to boil or dance around in front of the microwave (when we had one) cursing the thirty seconds that were left on the timer. I usually find something to occupy myself for the small amount of time.

It’s the big things, like waiting for a vacation or the holidays. I always have a gazillion things to do but there is no way I can occupy my brain for that long. I find myself folding laundry or washing dishes (yes, Sully does the dishes most of the time but there is the rare occasion that I will take care of some of them) and I find my brain drifting towards whatever thing is coming up. I make lists and count off days on the calendar, and all it does is make me crazier than when I started. In recent years, I have noticed that I end up blocking it all out because I just can’t take the waiting. Then a week before the trip (or holiday) I find myself running around all trying to get it all done.

I see myself doing the same sort of thing with myself this year. The plan is for this year to be different and of course, I have some preconceived notions about where I will end up. I try not to get ahead of myself though, but I have already found myself thinking about it and making lists. It’s time to get myself back to now and what I am trying to do. Life is stressful enough to derail my path to self improvement. I don’t have the luxury of walking away or blocking it out this time. I can’t scurry around a week before New Year’s Day 2013 and think that I will be able to fix what I didn’t get done this year.

I will still make my lists but I am only going to focus on today. I can’t control tomorrow or yesterday, all I can do is make the best of today.

Just because something isn't happening for you right now doesn't mean that it will never happen...

Four weeks after Christmas and I am just now feeling like life is back to normal.

Sully is working from home, Boo and I started school again last week. The first week back to school is always a bit crazy. I had a bit of prepping to do for Boo’s lessons, we are off to a good start though.

I need to get my self back on some sort of schedule since October I have been just meandering along through the day. School is the only constant and while that is good, it’s been a struggle to get other stuff done. I am really hoping that this is the week that I get myself back into the swing of things.

I have a few projects in the works, some that I have already started and others that are next in line. I need to get back on my house schedule before I tackle anything else. I can go days and weeks with the house totally picked up and ready for visitors. Projects are my housekeeping kryptonite though. I start a project and instantly the house goes to hell. The problem is that I enjoy the projects more than the housekeeping. When you have a project going you see the end in sight. There is a sense of accomplishment when you finish the project. Everyday housekeeping has no end, it’s washing the same dishes as yesterday, sweeping the same floors, dusting the same table, folding the same clothes. It’s the never ending part that is so hard, which sounds a little ridiculous. Some days it just seems to be futile, like when we were kids and our moms told us to make our beds. All of us thought at one point, why should I make my bed? I am just going to mess it up when I go to bed at night. I can admit there are days that I think why even try? It’s just going to get messed up again. One time Faith said it was like the movie “Groundhog Day’ and she’s right, there is something funny and horrifying all at the same time in that.

I am going to concentrate this week on getting back to my schedule. The projects can be worked in next week or the week after. Maybe I can do the every day stuff plus accomplish a little project work each day. I might want to think about writing too…hmmm

As I move into the third week of the new year and hopefully the new and improved me, I have noticed that some things work to motivate me and others do not.

Overall, I am not a negative person, I have my sarcastic moments like anyone else. If someone is being a jerk I might have a few choice words for them but I try to stay on the happy side of things. I don’t do well with being pushed, I tend to push back even if it’s detrimental to myself, I am that stubborn. My mother used to make comments about my food choices, clothing choices or any number of things and most of the time I would listen. If I thought she was pushing me though I would just keep on with what I was doing. Not a great step in personal growth, I realize, maybe I thought she would stop or that I was somehow exerting my personal independence. Regardless of my intention, it’s not the smartest reaction but it is what I do and I try to catch it when I can.

It makes sense then that I tend to react better with positive cues. I am trying to give myself positive reinforcement. I am working on making some goals for weight loss, if I lose ten pounds then I will get my ear pierced and other little rewards as I get closer to my goal. In fact, I might look at my other goals and see if I can’t work on rewards for those, as well. I have a lot to work on but at the same time I think my foundation is pretty solid. It’s taken me years to get to this point, it’s not surprising or unexpected that change is not going to happen overnight.

January 18th was unreal. Tech companies and users teamed up. Geeks took to the streets. Tens of millions of people who make the internet what it is joined together to defend their freedoms. The network defended itself. Whatever you call it, we changed the politics of interfering with the internet forever–there’s no going back.