Last night, having just written a blog post about allowing hope in again, I woke up to the worst uterine cramping that I've experienced in a long while.

I'd still been twinging most of the evening in the same spot, but in the dead of the night this twinging turned into an almighty 'contraction'. It literally felt like my uterus was trying to expel whatever might have been trying to implant itself there (even if the 'whatever' had been just a figment of my imagination burrowing itself into that lush lining). And from the silence in my uterus this morning I reckon that my uterus won the battle.

So my wholly unscientific conclusion is that I must suffer from some kind of implantation failure (yes, yes, I am a pro when it comes to self-diagnosis - Dr Google is literally my middle name). If progesterone cannot stop me from rejecting an embryo (I was toying with the hypothesis of luteal phase defect, which I would say has now been disproven) then my next hypothesis is the above. I know, I know, clutching straws here..

There could be two reasons for this though, a) my eggs are crap and cannot produce good quality embryos so my uterus rightfully rejects them b) there is some kind of an immune issue going on here. Either of the two could be caused by my endo..

I am now going to go and google how to treat immunology issues during IVF, just in case. Perhaps if that is the issue I should try to get tested privately before we embark on an NHS funded round of IVF and perhaps if needed could get an immunology treatment added to my NHS funded cycle privately, as in one the side. You know, covering all of one's bases and stuff..

So here is where I stand today. Pretty certain this cycle is a bust, but armed with plans for future attack.

I'm so sorry Haisla, I really hope it's just intense implantation cramps and not evil AF with her bag of tricks again. And your uterus might not have won, or it might just have been moving some furniture around to make room. I so hope so.Effing hope is dangerous, it gets me regularly! xx

Just catching up here, sorry to have been mia for so long. Cramping can go either way, so let Dr. Google have a holiday for a bit! If anything, different feelings are possibly hopeful: if you don't usually have insane cramps at this point, then who knows, it might be something different going on. Good luck with the next few days: I will be keeping fingers crossed for you.

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About this blog

Haisla

For the purposes of this blog, I will call myself Haisla and I am married to my lovely M. We have tried, tried, tried to have a baby since Jan 2012. The doctors suspect I have endometriosis, hence the title of this blog. All we want is to find our way out from this infertile land and sail home with a take home baby. I have decided to keep this blog anonymous for now, so that I can have a safe space where to rant and rave. I may yet decide to change this one day, but for now if you reckon you know me IRL... ssshhh pls.
I can be contacted at: adventuresinendoland@gmail.com