Dr. Carl Perrin spent a half a century trying to save Western Civilzation by teaching thousands of college freshmen important stuff, like the difference between its and it's. Now he is ready to go on to bigger and better things.

Monday, February 25, 2008

PERRIN DENIES USE OF PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS

Over 80 current and former major league baseball players have been accused of using performance enhancing drugs to boost their playing ability. Yankees pitcher Roger Clemens testified, unconvincingly that he has been unjustly accusing of being one of those who had used steroids or human growth hormones.

It is not surprising that suspicions soon turned to the presidential candidates. And who looks more suspicious than Carl Perrin, a 77-year-old with the stamina of a much younger man. People who know him say he has as much energy as a guy in his late sixties.

Perrin, however, insists that he has never used any performance-enhancing drugs, other than cheap beer. “My physical and intellectual prowess are just a natural gift,” Perrin said modestly.

1 comment:

This HGH "controversy" in sports will be meaningless in a few years. Growth Hormone is not a steroid. It's found naturally in the body. Banning it as a performance enhancer is like banning caffeine, sugar, chewing tobacco, or aspirin as a performance enhancer. Shooting HGH is passe now because it can be obtained legally over the counter in a homeopathic oral spray form which does not involve needles. There are about 30 companies selling it legally over the internet. Get over it. HGH is here to stay, like caffeine, sugar, chewing tobacco, and aspirin.

Dr Carl Perrin

About Me

When Carl Perrin was a wee lad, his father gave him a hatchet for his birthday. Perrin used the hatchet to chop down his father's prize cherry tree. When his dad asked who had cut down the tree, Perrin managed to blame it on his younger brother. That was only fair because the little rat was always getting him in trouble.
Perrin grew up to be an upstanding citizen with strong family values. Like that other great American, Rudy Giuliani, Perrin has shown his family values by getting married three times.