Driver: And your name is . . . . Officer Smith? Hey, are you related to the Smiths in town? My wife's cousin's husband (I think his name is Fred) works for the police department here. Or was that the fire department. Anyway, I thought you might be good pals, and you know . . .

Police Officer: Hey, are you trying to influence an officer? I could have this car impounded right now because of these infractions.

Driver: No, of course not.

Police Officer: Okay, then. Here's your ticket. You can either appear in court to pay the fine or mail it in. Have a nice day.