Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Observations For a First Timer - Diabetes and Driving

There are certain
moments in parenting that feel completely and totally surreal.

Watching your child as
she opens the driver's side door and slides in behind the wheel in order to
purposefully start the engine so she can drive YOU somewhere, might just be one
of the strangest parenting moments of all.

Logically, I knew this
moment would arrive but even now, at my ripe old age of 43, I can't shake the
weird feeling that I was just in driver's training myself.

How is this possible?
How do I now have a child that is not only old enough to learn how to drive and
yet, in this brief moment of time, feels more like a classmate, than a
daughter?

Furrowing my brow, I
catch her staring at me, wondering out loud if she missed something during her
practice turn. I shake my head no and try to keep my face from spilling
all of my secret thoughts.

As she propels me
gracefully around the student parking lot, with more finesse and calm than I
think I ever possessed during my own teens, she asks me what it was like when I was
learning - and because of the weird back-in-time feeling, I answer her unguarded.

"I remember Mr. S.
taking us to the highway to practice our driving. People smoked back then
and he was a big smoker. He drove us to a party store and while he picked
up cigarettes, we were able to pick up soda pop. I remember on one trip, he even
fell asleep while we were driving. I think I drove us across the state
before he woke up!"

We both laugh and oddly,
there is no discomfort or stress as she continues to practice. She is
surprisingly good at learning how to maneuver my mini-van. With focus and determination, she brings the car around to back into a narrow
parking space.

Without a doubt, she is
ready for this next stage of life.

This thought wakes me up
a bit from my teen memories. My job isn't to be her pal but to be her
parent as we navigate this new path towards independence.

After completing her
reverse parking, I ask her to turn the car off. She looks at me with
concern and I know that my face is ahead of my words in sharing the seriousness
of what needs to be said, so I plunge in.

"This is a big step
for our family. I need you to know that Daddy and I will have rules for
you to follow.

Our first rule is the
same as it always has been for everything that you do. First, you must
always have money and glucose (snacks, juice, tabs, etc.) both on you and in the car.
If you are prepared, you will have a better chance of managing small issues safely than if you are not prepared.

Our second rule is the
same as it is for anything that you do that requires a lot of 'oomph'
physically and mentally. Just like swimming, playing golf, taking a test,
and now, driving a car - you will need to test your BG before you start that
engine. Every single time. If you are low, you will treat - which is
why you will always have snacks with you and if you are high, you will dose
insulin. Then, you will wait until your BG is in the safe zone before
driving anywhere.

Our third rule is the
same as it has been since the day you were born. If you are ever
uncomfortable and need help, we want you to call us. Any time, anywhere
for any reason. We don't even need to know why. We will come help
you or your friends or anyone else that needs a hand."

Listening carefully with a very grown-up expresssion, she
smiles thoughtfully, "I know, mama. I know. I will always do
those things." She reaches over to give me a hug and another smile, asking if
she should drive us a bit more.

After the practice is
over and we move to switch seats - me back to my rightful seat in adulthood and once again,
with her as my child, she leans over and shares,

"Thank you for
not making this all about T1D. I know it has to be scary for you. I
promise that I am going to be careful. I have a lot that I want to do. I
don't want T1D to mess it all up but I also don't want T1D to take my
excitement away...Thanks for not doing that."

Reflecting later that
night, I suddenly realized that while my memories brought back my old feelings
of being a teenager, her feelings brought back her very recent memories of me
being her T1D advisor. Clearly, being her mother was synonymous not just
with being a parent but also, as a living, breathing representation of T1D.

Discovering that I play
a dual role within my daughter's life is even more disconcerting than feeling
like a teenager. It's a layer of responsibility to continue to allow her
the ability to freely experience all of the wonderful things in life without
placing too heavy an emphasis on T1D.

A reminder for our
family motto (now with a slight change): teens first, diabetes second.

1 comment:

Thanks for sharing these tips for first time driver. I just got my driving license, all thanks to superb training I got from a local Port Macquarie Driving School. They teach driving professionally and really liked their ways.

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About The Author

I am a wife, mother and full- time acting pancreas for two beautiful little girls. I enjoy antique and thrift shopping, decorating, staying connected with friends and learning all there is to know about Type 1 Diabetes.

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Please note that I am not a doctor and I do not have medical training. I do not have Type 1 Diabetes nor does my husband. I am a mother to two daughters who have been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

The purpose of this site is to help families dealing with Type 1 Diabetes to have a place to come together to share stories about Type 1 Diabetes. Type 1 Diabetes is challenging both physically and emotionally and a little support goes a long way. Naturally Sweet Sisters offers me, as a parent, a way to connect with other families living with Type 1 Diabetes and an outlet through which to share my own experiences. The information provided on Naturally Sweet Sisters is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between a patient/site visitor and his/her health professional.