“Pop” might not be the first word that springs to mind when you think of L.A.’s Ariel Pink and the brand of wobbly, weird songs he’s been making for more than a decade. But he’s always had an obsession with melody and hooks, even if it comes out at a more crooked angle than with most pop traditionalists. “It’s pop in an experimental kind of way,” he says. “Pop music for the wrong era, or just pop for my mind, appropriate for me, not for everybody else.” If you put **Taylor Swift’**s 1989 in an old sudsy washing machine without separating the darks from the lights, you’d have pom pom,Pink’s latest and catchiest album to date, out this week. Here, we ask him to voice his opinion (he’s a famously opinionated guy—so much so that it’s started to get him into a little trouble) on the top five pop songs dominating the Billboard charts this week.

1. Taylor Swift, “Shake It Off”“Everybody loves this song. She’s trying to come out and get this party started, it’s got a P!nk-ish feel to it. It has that sugary pop trace that’s become a hallmark—it’s a little bit like Shania Twain doing “That Don’t Impress Me Much.” It’s her going pop, crossing platforms—to me it sounds like not country anymore, it’s more like Linda Perry. It’s very musical, like Glee, a real progression. She’s beautiful, I want to marry her, if she would take me out on a date, I wouldn’t be upset. I think she’s had some sort of massive breakthrough, and I give her the credit, it’s all hers. And her team must be smart, because they’ve managed to capitalize on her former popularity as well as this new climate of all these platforms—she can leave Spotify, and it’s still the biggest record since 2002. She’s a pretty good role model, she seems to be—it reminds me of some of these actors, almost like Scarlett Johansson, nobody realized how versatile she can be, and she looks confident. She always sings about her ex-boyfriends, just like Jonathan Richman.”

2. Meghan Trainor, “All About That Bass”“I have no idea if she is a hard rapper or a little bit like an Amy Winehouse, but with less personality and less originality. The whole thing seems a little cookie-cutter to me and a little safe. I don’t think she’s that good. For females though, the song has a good message. I really believe that it’s very destructive, if you judge things solely by their appearances, or judge a book by its cover, you’re missing out on the real juice that’s there. If you spend the first 30 years of your life only trying to look good, you’re not going to know yourself very well. If you got it, flaunt it. But I don’t like the song, it sounds to me like Amy Winehouse, but the Toys “R” Us version.”

3. Maroon 5, “Animals”“I’ve played this song many times, and it plays all the time, it’s very popular in my neighborhood. I think these guys can never do any wrong, they’re just essentially plugged into what the people want to hear. It’s got an urban edge to it, it’s also cookie-cutter, and then it sounds like Pitbull could jump in at any second. If you can throw Pitbull into any song then these songs are working. It also sounds like, I bet it’s Max Martin, everything sounds like Max Martin, and I know they work with him.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh2LWWORoiM4. Tove Lo, “Habits”“I’ve heard the song a million times, it reminds me of La Roux “Bulletproof.” Swedish, melodic, the Swedish take hyper-pop melodicism and always excel at it. They ABBA-fy everything, so they always kick our asses in whatever dance and urban craze, and add these sophisticated harmonies and grandiosities. It reminds me of La Roux or Rihanna or something like that.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HDdjwpPM3Y

5. Jessie J, Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj, “Bang Bang”It seems like a signature beat, something like the Harlem Shake, that’s good, very urban, very up-to-date. I’m in love with Ariana Grande—she’s got a very curious personality, I hear she loves Freddy Krueger and I love Freddy Krueger, which makes me feel like we’d be perfect for each other. And who can deny Nicki Minaj? She’s so seminal, and I know that she’s a big influence on my friend Azealia Banks and just about everybody—she’s like Lil' Kim in a way. Most rappers don’t even rap anymore, they’re all doing what Gwen Stefani innovated, everybody is kind of singing—Rihanna, Nicki Minaj. Which is good because it seems to keep the pop in there—that’s why that Pitbull works so well. She does things on her own terms, and that’s really important, she reminds me a little bit of a Missy Elliot with regards to her own body image, she doesn’t mind shaking her junk.”