(Video) Spouses tell experiences, good and bad, in lives of police officers

Friday

Jan 24, 2014 at 4:00 AM

By STEVEN F. HUSZAIStaff Writer

WOOSTER -- Spouses of police officers shared their experiences, good and bad, with members of the Citizens Police Academy on Wednesday night.

Topics covered included the stress of the job, personal lives, being a female officer and rules that guide what a police officer can and can't do.

"We solve problems," Chief Matt Fisher said at the start of the session. "And that doesn't always translate into being a good spouse."

Fisher's wife, Beth, along with Amanda Nedoma and Karen Rotolo shared their experiences as wives of officers.

"He was great for show and tell," Beth Fisher said, when their daughter was younger. But over the years, she said the Fishers' daughter learned and accepted that their house was more strict than others.

The spouses covered a variety of topics based off of questions they typically are asked. Each had similar traits their police spouses adopted through the years, such as always sitting in rooms so they could see who enters.

But each had unique experiences, too, such as times their own jobs have been affected because of something that happened in the police world.

Rotolo and Fisher said trying to tell their children they couldn't play with other kids in their classes because their parents have criminal histories is a part of the territory, but hard to explain.

For the Fisher family, Beth Fisher said it was easier to move outside of Wooster in order to be somewhat insulated.

Rotolo described a time she went out on a date for ice cream with her husband. But suddenly he left to arrest a person police searched for and had an active warrant.

When Chief Fisher started off the session, he touched on the cynical view police officers take of the world.

"We see people at their baddest, their maddest and their saddest," he said. And more often than not, an officer will see the world based on their experiences.

Because of that, he added police officers suffer from higher rates of divorce and suicide, and try to find coping mechanisms.

"Most officers have a chair," the police chief said, meaning a chair where they come home to watch TV and decompress from their shifts.

Along those same lines, his wife and Rotolo both noted their husbands have changed and become more guarded since becoming officers.

Amanda Nedoma, who is married to Sgt. Victor Nedoma, for the first time shared her experiences after she received "the phone call no one wants to get."

While she had a 3-month-old baby at home, Nedoma learned her husband had been shot during a training exercise. Victor Nedoma was shot through the wrist in September 2011 shortly after he was promoted to sergeant.

As the police chief, also emotional, described for the class what happened that day, Amanda Nedoma credited the chief with saving her husband's hand and for his help throughout his ongoing recovery.

She was emotional when she shared for the first time publicly and described that weekend when they spent most of it at the Ohio State Medical Center in Columbus. The days were a 48-hour blur, Nedoma said.

One particular moment she recalled was hearing her husband's screams as doctors tried to lay his hand flat in order to take an X-ray.

"It isn't a phone call anyone wants to get," Nedoma said, as her husband is scheduled for his fourth surgery Monday.

"(Police wives) are strong," Beth Fisher said, as well as flexible, in handling their households, and not "submissive" as someone once asked her.

April Teichmer, a patrol officer with the Wooster Police Department, also described her experiences being a female officer in a male-dominated profession.

She said is was hard when she started as an officer in Shreve -- where she is from -- and everyone knew her.

One time she wrote someone a ticket and that person called her father to complain about it.

But when she started with Wooster's department, her then-husband struggled with numerous aspects of the job and ultimately it cost her her marriage.

Teichmer described a time when her first husband actually blocked out time when he could watch his TV shows and she had to not disturb him and take care of their child.

"I've lost friends," Teichmer said, and it has cost her relationships. When she started dating after her first marriage ended, she said she carried her duty firearm with her on dates. "Some guys didn't like that," she laughed.

And while some officers at the department are "old-school" and don't believe women should be officers, Teichmer said at the end of the day those preconceptions don't matter.

All that matters when "the crap hits the fan," she said, is if she jumps in to help her fellow officers.

Assistant Prosecutor Jodie Schumacher ended the session with a review of legal issues -- specifically the fourth, fifth, and sixth amendments, which police and attorneys work within -- for police officers to keep in mind when arrests are made and when obtaining search warrants.

"The 'CSI' effect has affected us," she said, as scientific evidence in cases has been both a blessing and a curse.

Schumacher said she has seen a jury return a not guilty verdict after police purchased drugs from a dealer.

"They wanted a fingerprint on that crack rock," Schumacher said, but added she has never seen a rock larger than her thumb.

Reporter Steve Huszai can be reached at 330-287-1645 or shuszai@the-daily-record.com. He is @GeneralSmithie on Twitter.