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How I Met Your Mother Season 3 Quotes

Barney: Why are you trying to ruin my life?Abby: You slept with me and you never called me again.Barney: And?Abby: That's it!Barney: That's it?! As far as I'm concerned if I leave you safe on a dry land with adequate transportation home you got nothing to complain about!

Abby and I are in love. Not hot, passionate love. Couple love! You know, movie night with my girlfriend then waiting for her to go to bed so I can steal one pitiful moment of hollow ecstasy by the cold blue light of my computer monitor

Robin: Let me ask you something, Ted... why are you so much madder at Barney than me?Lily: Yeah... she had just as much sex with Barney as Barney had with her!Robin: You know what, I'm not sure that's true

Stella: So, my sister broke up with her boyfriend.Ted: Well, now I can finally say it: I hated that guy! Everything out of his mouth is 'I'm a vegan!', 'Fish feel pain!', 'I'm never constipated!'. That guy's an idiot.Stella: Actually, she's marrying him. I just wanted your honest opinion.Ted: He's actually a really nice guy. There's a wisdom

Ted [about sleeping with Robin]: By the way, my mother is coming to visit next week. Maybe you would like to nail her too!?Barney: Are you saying you don't want to be bros anymore?Ted: I'm saying I don't want to be friends anymore

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Barney: It's not possible! You cannot have sex on a windsurfing board!Lily: How do you know?Barney: Glad you asked, Lily. I have crafted a list of all vehicles, land-based, aquatic, and airborne, in which / on which it is possible to have sex. Of these 33, I have had sex in / on 31. Windsurfing board: not on the list. Oh, PS in order to hit 33, all I need is bobsled and the Apollo 11 space capsule.Lily: To get that last one, you'd have to break into the Smithsonian.Barney: This conversation never happened.