Getting Unstuck

BY Karen Casey

True health and serenity come from learning to set boundaries and take care of one's own needs first.

In Getting Unstuck, bestselling recovery writer Karen Casey invites readers to work through the 12 principles in Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow and to dig deep into their own patterns of behavior, to determine where they've gotten stuck in their lives. Presented in a workbook format, readers write down and explore their answers to specific questions both to discern what's causing them unhappiness or stress and to develop strategies for getting unstuck.

Getting Unstuck helps readers to:
Learn where the boundaries should be drawn between themselves and others

- Stop holding others emotional hostage

- Avoid turning caring into control

- Let loved ones find their own Higher Power

- Find their own free and peaceful life.

Getting Unstuck deepens and broadens readers' understanding of the peace that comes from being responsible for themselves and letting others do the same.

Casey's characteristic gentle prodding and profound insight help readers discover their own wisdom and strength.

EXCERPT

I am so glad you have selected this book to read. Itís a book about change, a book that will help you make the kind of changes that are necessary if you want to enjoy a life thatís peaceful. Itís a book that will keep the process for making the changes simple, doable, and at the end of the day, successful. I can promise you that.

Itís the third book in the Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow series. In this workbook, I lead you very carefully through key ideas from the original book in case you havenít read it. Worry not; you will be brought up to speed. And if you did already read Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow and its companion, Itís Up to You, you might discover that this one is the most helpful of all. I say that because it leads you gently through the many ideas from the first book while directing you, in a detailed way, to dig into your own patterns of behavior and write about those areas that keep you stuck, discerning what caused the ďstucknessĒ and developing strategies for getting unstuck.

Being stuck is common to caring people, and indeed, those of us who are trying to grow and change are, more often than not, caring people. Helping each other get unstuck is the next important agenda item. I see that as one of my ďassignmentsĒ on this journey we are sharing.

The intent of this book, then, is not to eliminate the gift we have for caring about others but to help us see where we should draw boundaries between ourselves and the many others who are intentionally traveling this path with us. Itís very easy to turn caring into control, and we must strive to avoid that. Therefore, this book specifically addresses how to care about but not control others. It helps you discover how to discern what is your business and what is not your business. It guides you to let your loved ones find their own Higher Power, teaching you, in the process, how to strengthen your relationship with yours. Accepting that outcomes are Godís purview is another tool that this book highlights. Powerlessness, and the power of embracing this in our lives, is a key component of this book as well. And there are many more.

You receive good, orderly direction as we proceed. You can change. You can change any behavior that is hindering your peace of mind. I can promise you this based on personal experience. Gratefully, I have been a practitioner of these principles for change for many years now. Peace is the by-product of living this way, and healthy, interdependent partners in the home, on the job, and in the wider circle of friendships know that these principles work. Now you can join their ranks.

We are beginning an exciting undertaking here. There is no timeline for completion, but I think that once you have begun, you will want to keep moving forward. Change is exhilarating though formidable at times. With the help of this book, you do not attempt huge changes all at once. We will slowly, deliberately, and very carefully move together through the suggested areas for exploration. In the process, we discover who we really are and what changes we should make so we can grow into the people weíd rather be.

In the chapters that follow, there are writing exercises that I have divided into separate questions and journaling prompts. Itís not necessary to write every day, but some will see the wisdom of that. Take one question a day if that makes it more manageable, or spend a whole week. But this is only a suggestion, so donít let my proposed pace deter your enthusiasm for forward movement if youíd like to move through the workbook faster. This is your book, your growth. Iím simply the teacher guiding your process. You are the student who will determine your readiness and your pace.

To help you get started each and every day, meditate a few moments first. Perhaps it will help to ask the God of your understanding to walk with you on this part of your journey. Then, and only then, begin to write. And remember, this is your journal. Itís only for others if you want to share it.

Take all the time and space you need. Use an extra journal if you run out of room in the spaces provided or if you find an idea that resonates very deeply with you. Some of you may even want to create a ďpicture boardĒ that reflects the changes you hope to experience as you progress in this process of growth.

Remember, time is not of the essence. The point of this is for you to gain some objectivity on your interactions, thoughts, and behaviors. The speed of change is not the focus. Throughout this investigation and rumination process, be honest, be specific, and be thorough. Thoroughness leads to growth and change, and is absolutely necessary if we really want to change our state of mind and the tenor of our relationships.

Have fun, however, as you proceed. Thatís the real gift of a book such as this. It will be like watching a seedling becoming an ear of corn or a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. Your changes will probably be noted by others before you can see them yourself. Thatís normal. And you will feel blessed by the ease with which you will learn to live ďinĒ the changes. Itís about the attainment of peace, after all. Thatís the purpose

I am intent on clarifying for you. Thatís now become my lifeís purpose, in fact.