The Captain’s Red Shirt (joke)

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to successfully battle the pirate boarding party. Later, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever bellowed, “Bring me my red shirt!” And once again the battle was on. This time they repelled both boarding parties. That night, the men sat around on deck celebrating the day’s victories. An ensign asked the Captain, “Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle?” “Ensign, if I were wounded in battle, the red shirt would hide the blood and my men will continue the fight, unafraid.” The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a Captain. As dawn broke, the lookout screamed there were ten pirate ships, all with boarding parties on their way. The men fell silent and looked to the Captain. The Captain, always calm, ordered, “Bring me my brown trousers!”