Making the suburban frenzy more bearable.

I've been thinking more about small groups since my last post on the suburban frenzy. It occurs to me that meeting with a bunch of people from the church you attend on a weeknight is just crazy. Some of you may think that I'm going to advocate meeting on Sunday nights as many are in the habit of doing but I am not. A Sunday night small group is a good idea if you want to hang out with people from church. And that is my whole point in this post.

Who do we want to hang out with? Church people or those who do not believe as we do? Your choice will dictate your actions. The small group from the church we currently attend is designed for the believer. So, we meet in the evenings when we can come together at X's home. I don't expect this to be a very evangelistic group as it is focused on church people and Bible study.

What kind of relational groupings (Rg's) work for people we hang out with who do not know Christ? That is the question we have to ask if we are to create missional relational groupings within our life. Think about it. We are trying to develop relationships with people not do “bible studies.” So what type of grouping can we have?

~ Invite people over to your house for a movie night.
~ Go have ice-cream or coffee after practice or games with other parents who have children on your child's sports team.
~ Join a book review club.
~ Attend “Meet-ups” on issues you care about.
~ Join a softball, football or baseball team in your community.
~ Organize week-end hikes for beginners interested in camping.
~ Think about it, the possibilities are endless!

My point is this. Think of what you like to do and invite others to join you. It is a relational grouping that you either initiate or become a part of. They can be formalized or informal. You can meet bi-monthly, weekly, monthly or whatever. That is unimportant. The important thing is to make relationships with people outside of your standard social network. Include people in your world and you will expose them to the Gospel as you live it out.

Incorporating people in our lives in not easy as it opens us up to the risk of pain, hurt and betrayal. Without this risk we can not experience the joy, fellowship, community and love of others. Risk is the price of admission. I guess that is why so many of us in suburbia are so isolated and lonely. We don't have anyone we can trust. We have no one to share our lives with and pour ourselves into except our immediate family.

I think we definitely need groups targeted at church people but they should be the exception and not the norm. Our lives are governed by small social groupings that we transition between on a daily basis. Let's pull people into the circles of life that we all inhabit. Will this solve the suburban frenzy? I don't think so, but it will make it more bearable for those we include in our lives.

Paul wrote in Acts that the Christians
gathered EVERY day to pray and worship
together! I spend lot's of time outside
of church with those who have no time or very
little interest in God because I believe
that is what Jesus did. But we are told so
many times in the NT that we are to look
after fellow believers and to show them a special
love, even beyond that which we show to those
who are not Christians. Inviting non-believers
to book clubs or soccer games is great, but is
that all they think our spiritual life is about.
I think that might be why so many Christians
don't even understand how important studying the Bible is - they never saw their Christian friends
doing it or talking about it.

i don’t think that they would regard book clubs or soccer games as our spiritual life. It is a relational connection point for them as well. Once we get to know one another, then the invites to other areas of life start. In my post i was suggesting how to create more missional groupings. So i did downplay the “pro Christian” components that are so necessary in our congregations. You are correct that many church people do not follow the acts idea of praying and helping out other Christians. We talk a good game but fail in the praxis of it.

i also think that Christians who are more “involved” with the church and their fellow Christian tend to become isolated from the “non-Christian” on a relational level. The Church is their life and most of their relational network is contained within the church. i arrived at this conclusion from my 10 years of vocational ministry.

We need to BE both, hanging out with those who have yet to believe in Christ and serving/growing with our fellow Christian. Will they mix? That is up to you and the Holy Spirit. i invite my friends to help me with stuff regardless of their status with Christ. i’ve had non-believers helping out at church functions. Maybe i am a freak or something but you would be surprised how many people will help with social awareness issues even if it is held during a church event. Their cigarette breaks sure opened me up to some pressure form the congregation i was serving.

Thanks again for you comments Kevin. It is a needed reminder in a format like this where only a thin slice of the pie is spoken about in any one post.

In the Celtic tradition "Thin Places" are places where the spiritual and the natural world intersect. It is a place where it is possible to touch and be touched by God. "Thin Spaces" are the moments when we experience a deep sense of God’s presence in our everyday world.