Apply

So you want to volunteer for a literary review

As for the rest of you, we’re accepting expressions of interest from the following types of people:

1. Word people. People who can acquire writing, who can edit sensitively, and who can tell knock-knock jokes. We publish fiction, poetry, and creative nonfiction.

2. Technical people. People who speak code, particularly CSS, HTML, jQuery, things like that—we’re English majors, you know?—and who are familiar with WordPress in general and Divi in particular. Also other species, like graphic designers. Advertising mavens. Bean counters. If you look at our site and think, “I could make life easier for those poor schmucks,” and you’re fond of knock-knock jokes, we would like to hear from you.

3. Artsy people. People who can locate and acquire just the right work of art to accompany a piece of creative writing. And who would never kick a good knock-knock joke out of bed for eating celery.

4. Good Samaritans. We’ll call you “editors at large.” Actually you can call yourself that; we’ll call you something entirely different behind your back. You’ll help as needed, for example with contests, fundraisers, and other activities. And of course knock-knock jokes.

Hypothetical Questions

Could such positions turn into more responsible positions, someday down the road, if we work hard and do good?

Hypothetically.

What if I already work for another journal? Can I stay there? Or are you one of those infidelity types?

Think of ours as an open marriage.

Can I ever in my life expect to earn money working for your organization?

If there comes a time when money is laying on the ground, tripping people on their way to the company tennis courts, loyal volunteers will be the first to pick it up.

Can I apply even if I live in Timbuktu?

Yes. The world is our oyster.

I charge $50 an hour for my time. Why the hell should I give it to you for free? I’m going to sit here, holding my breath, until either you provide convincing reasons or I turn purple and burst.

How does one apply?

Send an email to Steve at lascauxreview at gmail dot com.

What should go into the email?

Whatever you wish to put into it. And a knock-knock joke.

When will I hear back?

You’ll hear back immediately; we’ll send you an inauthentic-sounding message thanking you for your application and promising to keep it on file. The promise is real: we’re going to roll out new features incrementally and ask for help as we need it. So you might not get “the call” until sometime in the far distant future, long after you’ve forgotten the love we once shared.

How do you pronounce “Lascaux?”

Lass-CO. If we hear you enunciating the X, even subtly, we’ll delete your application.

What is your long-term mission?

I’m glad you asked. Our long-term mission is to publish the world’s best fiction, poetry, and creative nonfiction. To become the #1 literary market on the planet. Other than that, we’re not really all that ambitious.