Sunday, December 30, 2012

At first glance u may think I am talking about the women in this pic, and although they are beautiful, I am not talking about their appearance.

These 3 have developed a friendship that is rare these days. The topics they discuss, the things they do together, the favors they do are nothing short of beautiful.

Nothing is ever a problem if it is helping one another. They share life experiences, workouts and even late night chocolate.

I love watching this beautiful friendship grow but unfortunately one of them is moving to another state. Even tho they won't be together everyday or even in the same state after tonight, they still have something beautiful - friendship!

My point: they have a great friendship because they invested into it. They worked out together, they laughed (A LOT) and they cried together. That's what friends do, whatever it takes. .

This is a great reminder to us as we enter into a new year, invest into relationships because NOTHING is more beautiful than friendships.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

It is pretty exciting around C3 these days. It is never dull but there are some great things in the works. As easy as it is to be excited about the future, we need to take time to appreciate where we are.

We meet as a staff and we take time to talk about LifeChange and just have fun. We talk about the future and what it will take for us to get there and we talk about the present and make sure we enjoy what is currently going on.

We are in a season of transition. Our staff will never be what it is today. There are going to be people added and some will be leaving. All that is not bad, it is just different. When I look at what got us here, it is not necessarily going to get us where we think we will be. That calls for personal growth, staff growth and more space. All that is change and we all deal with change differently.

My point: It would be easy to focus on the excitement of the future but we also need to take time to appreciate where we are. We are not where we were and we are not yet where we are going.

Take some time to dream and be excited but also take a moment to reflect and be appreciative.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

I am in a competition with a friend to blog 2x a week. If one of us doesn't do twice, we have to take the other to lunch.

Last week I wet the bed (didn't blog 2x). There are lots of reasons I could list but I will spare u the lameness of a bunch of hub bub - bottom line is I simply didn't make it a priority and I blew it.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

A friend told me that discount tire will fix it for free. It's a service they offer to hope they earn ur business in the future.

I thought it was a great service, a great idea and a great marketing strategy.

Of course my tire was "I repairable" so they sold me a new tire but that's not the point.

My point: what if the church became that place where people could come as they are, broken, hurt, grieving or even full of joy and the one thing they knew was they would get what they needed and if they determined they wanted more in be future, they would come to us.

We know Jesus is the answer but most people can't or don't want to hear it until a need of theirs is met. Until they know we care about them and are concerned about what they are concerned about - they don't wanna hear it.

This place may not have my allegiance but they have my respect for doing something other places are not doing. Care about me & my need before u ask me to buy from u.

Come to www.myC3church.com and we will meet u where u are. If all u want is coffee - we have that!

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Raegan turned 5 this week and I remember the day she was born. I held her and all I could say is "she's perfect."

Since I have 4 daughters, I joke and introduce Rae as my last attempt for a boy. I am serious when I say that because we are definitely not having anymore children and as much as I thought I wanted a boy, I was wrong.

I wouldn't change this precious little princess for NOTHING. She is the littlest princess and she is nothing short of perfect in daddy's eyes.

It is hard to believe how long ago it seems that she was born but it seems like it was just yesterday too. Life is an awesome journey and this little girl makes it more fun, entertaining, exciting and joyful.

My point: We often think we know what we need but most of the time it is more about what we want. I may have prayed for a boy thinking that is what I wanted but God knew this little girl is what I need.

I will be playing with my girls and I will say out loud "daddy didn't need no boys." I guess I said it enough that they started saying it for me. We get to playing and being goofy and one of them will say Daddy don't need no boys...

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Tonight I got to see my oldest daughter perform in her school play "the odd couple". She did incredible. I am so proud of her and the entire cast.

The picture I decided to post with this latest blog is out of focus, it is a bit blurry. That's how the last 16 years of my life feels like it has been. It seems to have happened so fast, it is a blur.

As great & funny as the play was, I was very emotional afterwards. I was emotional for several reasons.
One - because my baby is growing up way to fast.
Two - because many of my friends and family came to support her. Three - because I see how many quality relationships she has at school. This group of students spent a lot of time together and they can now say - another chapter of this HS journey is in the books.

There are a lot of different personalities in this group and I think that is why it works, because they are all unique. It may seem odd to some but it is all about accepting and embracing the differences.

My point: In the book "DNA of relationships", there is a great quote that says "Life is about relationships, the rest is just details." I think Shayna understands this principle. She has great relationships and she will never forget them.

Yes, some may be a little odd, but that is what makes them unique.

I am so proud of this team and I am honored to see them enjoying this season of their young lives.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

I have taken some classes on coaching and I was just getting ready to blog about it and my 7 yr old walked into my room with a dilemma. "daddy, I can't fall asleep".

Coaching is defined as helping someone get from where they are to where they want to go. My immediate thought was to tell her to go back to bed and stay there until she fell asleep but I decided to coach my little ginger.

I had her define reality: I can't fall asleep.
I had her tell me the things she tried: counting sheelp, staring at the ceiling, thinking about nothing.
I asked her what could she try that she hasn't tried: I don't know, that's why I came in here.

After a bunch of questions (I gave no answers), she was getting a little antsy. I asked questions that made her think differently than she had been thinking. After about 5 minutes she came to an "aha moment". She got this big smile on her face and said "daddy, you just gave me an idea". She then asked me to pray that her idea would work.

I prayed with her and she ran out of my room with a big toothless smile on her pretty little face.

My point: our kneejerk reaction is to usually give instruction or what we think is a good answer but people own the decision when they feel like they helped come up with it.

I LOVE helping people find the best answer for their situation. The truth is - they are the expert. No one knows their situation better than them and although the best solution may not be obvious to them, it can usually be uncovered with some good questions.

Coaching is a great way to validate people and get them to think for themselves. If I always give the answer, why would they need to think on their own. If I can teach them to answer the questions I would ask - now that is good coaching.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

I used to look online for the lowest price around then go to a local store and buy it but I now go to the store and see what item I like the best then find it cheaper online.

I have been looking for an iPhone5 case for a few weeks so I went to best buy to find one I liked and then figured I would purchase it from Amazon.com

I found one then scanned it with my phone to see how much I could get it for online and it was about $12 cheaper. A worker was walking by so I decided to ask him if they would price match it and he didn't even hesitate to say yes. He told me to just show it to the cashier - so I did.

My point: there are not a lot of guarantees in life but this was a pleasant surprise. It never hurts to ask. If I was too afraid or embarrassed to ask for the savings, I wouldn't have got it.

A lot of people would've just paid the extra money or went home to pay shipping and wait up to 2 weeks but they wouldn't have had to - they would've chose to. What seemed to me like a crazy question saved me some time and money.

The crazy thing is they matched the advertised price before shipping was calculated so I not only got the best price, I didn't have to pay shipping and walked out with it instead of having to wait a few weeks.

Best buy just gained a loyal shopper - that's a (price match) guarantee...

Sunday, November 25, 2012

I heard a great quote that says "the search for someone to blame is always successful".

That is so simple, deep and sad all at the same time.

The simplicity of the statement is because it is clearly true. We don't have to look very hard or far to find someone else to blame. When we lose our temper - it is the fault of the person who did something we didn't like.

It is deep because it is really hard to explain why we do this. It is too deep to understand what goes on inside of us to make us feel like shifting the blame to someone else is the best thing to do.

It is sad because we feel justified when we blame. It is sad that we are not mature enough to admit our wrongs or take control our emotions. It is sad that we put so much time into justifying our actions instead of trying to change the flaws in us.

My point: I hate when people throw others under the bus. Blaming someone else for something that is clearly your responsibility is a weak way to handle things.

I think blaming someone else is an excuse for your failure. If you want to be successful at something be successful at honesty. If the only thing you are successful at is finding someone else to blame - are you really successful? Or is that someone else's fault too...

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Shayna turned 16 so we did the driving school thing then the hours of driving then came time for the test.

Because she didn't pass the maneuverability part the first 2 times, we got to know this gentleman pretty well.

The first visit was all business. The second time was a little more conversation and less formal. By the 3rd visit, Sgt Straight was telling us all about his family vacations, his sore knee, his financial status, his love for a good beer and lots of other very interesting things.

He opened up because we got him talking about himself. We cared enough to ask him questions about him.

My point: a lot of people care so much about themselves that they don't have the ability to care about others. I challenge myself to allow others to talk more about themselves then I do about me. I am trying to model for my children that it is so much more interesting and fun to get to hear other peoples stories.

This is the same guy that cussed the 2nd time she hit the cone and on this day he was cheering and cheezing her on!

We already know our story, lets hear theirs.

She just got her license to drive, but I hope she always keeps her license to care...

Sunday, November 18, 2012

How many people will take their time to research and find a car then take a whole day to take a 14 hour round trip to pick up that car then sleep in his car for an hour so he doesn't kill himself then in the process of all this - wreck his car? The answer is 1.

I am humbled by friends but can't even tell you how honored I am by friends who go above and beyond.

On the way back from NC, picking up my new (to me) car, I was passing my friend and I saw a deer jump in front of him. He hit it and then it rolled into my lane so I finished it off.

That's right, I was driving my new car home and hit a deer. That is the least of my worries. I was more concerned about his safety then for our cars.

I hate that his kindness and generosity ended in his car getting damaged.

My point: sometimes kindness doesn't end the way we think it will. Things don't always go as planned. Doing a favor may take longer, may cause you to not get as much done, may cost more, may be inconvenient but you do it because that's what a friend does. You do whatever you need to do.

My friend may have hit a deer but sent a loud and clear message of friendship.

Friday, November 16, 2012

On my way to the gym I got on a phone call and figured it would only take a few minutes. I was wrong. It took a little longer and as I was on that call I got a voicemail and had to call that person back when I was done.

It turned out that I sat in my car in front of the gym and talked the entire time I set aside to workout. So when I was finally done talking, I walked into the gym, took a shower and left...

As I went in, I told the girl working the counter what I was doing and she laughed.

My point: sometimes things come up and we have to make adjustments. I was totally fine with taking advantage of my gym membership just to use their locker room facilities.

I told a few people this story and they said they would have drove all the way home to get ready because they would've been too embarrassed.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

We were told she would not live for more than an hour or so if she did make it full term but she did.

Megan was named "Megan" because we found a meaning that said "strong & able". From the time we knew her heart did not develop right, we started praying that she was strong and able.

I believe she lived 4 days because we surrounded her with nothing but love. We had our families come in and LOVE LOVE LOVE. Then we locked ourselves in a room and showed this child nothing but love. Even tho her heart wasn't working correctly, she hung on 4 days because she was being loved. She was strong and able.

Then 4 days later, she crossed over into eternity and now she knows Love personally. God is Love. She is with our Savior and we will see her again someday.

My point: every opportunity is an opportunity to grow. We are so blessed to call Megan our daughter and because of her I am now stronger and more able. A lot of great things have come from my experience with this little girl. I am still learning and using my pain to help others.

I remember getting so upset that it still hurts so bad - it has been 8 years, shouldn't it hurt less? A friend of mine said "It hurts so bad because you love so deep". I am forever grateful for those words. Now I am comforted by the fact that it still hurts.

Many thought a child with so many physical problems couldn't make a difference in this world but she did...

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

If you have an opportunity to share your opinion but don't - then you can't complain.

Today is about exercising your right to be heard as an American. Regardless what box you check on the ballot, you need to check one of them. Regardless which side of the aisle you agree with, you should take full advantage of letting your vote be counted.

Today is one of the great days in our country. It is a day that many lives have fought and died for by battling for our freedom to have our voice heard. We have an opportunity to cast a ballot to choose the most powerful position in the world and to not take advantage of it is kinda sad.

My point: It drives me nuts when people complain but offer nothing to promote change. If you don't like the way things are but do nothing about it - don't complain. If you let your voice be heard and it doesn't turn out the way you want - deal with it because at least you did your part but so did others.

No matter what happens - today's results are not going to surprise God. He is still on the throne and He is still God.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Today I am in Michigan with my best friend and my daughter. THEY are speaking at the Michigan youth convention: Love Revolution.

I say THEY because Konan, one of the best speakers I have ever heard is sharing the stage for a few minutes with Shayna.

This man connects the Word of God with practical everyday life in a way that you can't help but be moved to change. No matter how many times I hear the same stories - they are still funny. That's just a gift.

Konan is giving part of his session to my daughter to share her heart and passion. She is only going to support one of his main points but she will be on stage with a great man of God.

I believe God is giving this young lady a platform to be a change agent for her generation. With that platform comes tremendous responsibility. She has to guard it because it can be gone as fast as it came.

My point: Everyone needs someone to believe in them. As a parent of course I believe in my children but it is a humbling honor when someone else sees in them what God wants to accomplish in them and gives them opportunities to achieve their passion.

Shayna shared what she will communicate and I already cried. That's just the first time today and I am sure many more are on the way.

When the opportunity was given to her, I said: Shayna I want to say this is a once in a lifetime opportunity but I think for you this is just the FIRST of many opportunities.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Shayna (my 16 yr old daughter) took the maneuverability part of the drivers test. She CRUSHED it...

When I say she crushed it, I mean she crushed the orange cone which means she didn't pass the maneuverability part of the test - but she did pass the character test.

She was very frustrated that she tried something and didn't succeed at it but as we discussed the situation it became very obvious that the attitude and perspective she took about it was nothing short of a total success.

I framed it this way: I now get to drive you to work, I get to practice with you again, I get to drive to the BMV to take the test again and to me that is awesome because it means I get to spend more time with her. Once she gets her license - she won't "need" me to chauffeur her around and I will not have those little pockets of time that are becoming more and more rare the older she gets.

My point: her attitude and outlook on "failing" was a lesson in character and that is a test she passed with flying colors. The perceived failure means I get some quality time with my oldest daughter. To me those are both successes.

Side note: she literally crushed the cone. She hit that sucker so hard the instructor cussed - now that's just funny.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

I think others think I am weird. I am sure u can insert a lot of really great & funny statements but spare me and keep reading.

I absolutely LOVE spending time with my family. That is weird to some people. I love it so much that I create adventures out of ordinary routine tasks.

Yesterday my younger girls wanted some daddy time so I built it up like we were gonna have the best day ever & it was a great day. We did absolutely nothing but errands but we did them together.

We went to Target to get Rae some t-shirts, I picked up some deodorant, laundry detergent, goldfish crackers and other boring stuff. But u know what made it fun- I ran down the aisles with the cart. I "accidentally" bumped into stuff (without messing anything up), I let them touch stuff, I let them decide which isles to go down & even let them eat the goldfish crackers without paying for them first. I know - I live on the edge.

Then I let them decide to have lunch at Sam's club (or so I let them think they did). I needed stuff from there so we made a plan to have a hot dog and get a free cookie then they could have all the samples they could eat.

My point: the fun was spending time together. What we did is not important. Fun is an attitude not an activity.

I had to choose not to text or check my email because I had 2 little girls that wanted my time AND attention. I will never regret spending time with my family.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

This past Sunday our pastor talked about Sex.
It was a really good message about what's "normal".

That message started a conversation after service when a guy said I must be glad that I have all girls so I don't have to have the "sex talk" with them because their mom would do it.

I said "are you crazy" (or some variation of that). I consider it a priviledge and right to talk to my daughters about sex. It is my responsibility to let them know where there dad stands on morals and values - especially when it comes to sex.

I have never shyed away from the tough or awkward conversation with others so I will definitely not avoid them when it comes to the most precious gifts I have been given - my daughters.

I know he said it without thinking but it really made me sad that he probably speaks for many others. Sex can be an awkward topic but it doesn't have to be. I would rather my girls know where I stand then for them to have to wonder and be wrong.

My point: My children have been entrusted to me and it is my responsibility to speak truth to them because Lord knows there are enough people lying to them. Sex is probably one of the most important things we need to make sure the truth is clear and I will not leave that to anyone else.

I love my girls and they will know the truth. They may feel awkward at first but they will learn there are no "off limit" topics when it comes to their dad.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Because of very little rain this year our lawn looks awful but it is also full of weeds.

TruGreen has been servicing our yard so I called them and asked them if they wanted me to put a sign in our yard letting everyone know they were treating our yard.

When they came out they agreed it was not at a standard they are proud to showcase. The manager explained that the best way to keep weeds away is to have a very healthy lawn full of good grass.

Good grass takes all the nutrients and water so the weeds have a harder time surviving. Now that ur bored I guess I should share the parallel to life.

If we surround ourselves with good - the bad (weeds) stand out but they also have a hard time surviving.

Have u ever tried to be negative in a room full of positive people. Have u ever had someone being irresponsible while hanging around responsible people. Even trying to be unhealthy and eat a bunch of junk while with people who eat right and train or workout.

It's hard to totally go against the patterns of people you hang out with.

My point: if u don't like who you are maybe u need to hang out with different people. If u don't feel right about being around a certain group of people maybe its time to decide if ur grass or if ur the weed.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

I often wonder what the heck goes thru peoples minds when they pick out a personalized plate.

I can't even think about something that I would want on my plate enough to pay for it. I am too cheap to pay to make a statement on my car.

I also know when I look at the plate or most bumper stickers, whether it is intended or not, an image and opinion is formed in my head. I am not sure it the image you want me to have but I guess that is the risk you take when you personalize a plate or put stickers on your car.

My point: there are enough ways that people form opinions of us so I just choose not to give em another one. There is also other things I would rather spend that money on - I guess you can form an opinion of me for NOT having a personalized plate.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

When I have a lot on my "to do" list, I start feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Yesterday I started a few of the bigger things that need done and immediately it took the power away from the stress.

When I sit and worry or complain about all there is to do or how busy I am, I am in a defenseless - victim posture. When I make a plan to handle all the projects, the stress is lessened but when I start them the stress is pretty much gone.

I find I only get stressed or overwhelmed when I don't have a plan or haven't started.

My point: no one manages your time but you. Other people may want to or think they do but you ultimately stay in control of your time or you give it away. When I look at people as an interruption, I can get stressed but when I look at them as a worthy investment of my time - I choose to make them a priority over my task list.

I am in control of my time - PERIOD!

Take away the stress of the task by starting. What is the one thing that is stressing you out - make a plan and start it. Let me know how that works for you.

Friday, October 5, 2012

I was thinking about how some people will say things and have absolutely no intentions on following up or doing what they say.

Sometimes we may say we believe things that we don't necessarily believe. We may think we do - but our lives say differently.

I was listening to a podcast and it reminded me of the verse "they honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me"
(Mt 15:8).

That hit me a little different because of some things I am dealing with right now. It is hard to see actions that don't line up with the words. There is a clear message - and that message is "inconsistent".

This brought an image of a parrot to my mind. We can train a parrot to say just about anything but their hearts are not necessarily in it.

A parrot can say "I love you" but they still crap on your floor. They can say "I'm hungry" and we train them by rewarding them with a cracker. They learn to say things to get the result they want - so do we.

I think people are parrots when they use their words but their heart doesn't line up with the words. We learn what to say to get what we want just like a parrot. It is all about us. As long as we get what we want, we will say just about anything to look a certain way or to get others to believe we are something we are not. You can say you believe something or are something but your actions are a totally different message.

My point: don't be a parrot. We live what we believe but we don't always live what we "say" we believe. An inconsistent message only leads to mistrust. No relationship can be built on mistrust.

Monday, October 1, 2012

I go to a gym called planet fitness and they call themselves the "judgement free zone".

I thought that was a pretty cool phrase because who wants to be judged? Then the more I thought about it, the more I wished the church was known as the "judgement free zone".

Unfortunately the church has a different reputation but we are trying to change that at C3.

We want people to feel welcome no matter where they are from or what they have in their past. I remember overhearing a conversation of 2 ladies talking. One said "it seems like people here at C3 have more problems than other churches I have been to". I was really sad to hear that until I heard the other persons response. She said "no, they are just more honest about their problems here".

After hearing that, I was very excited and realized that she was right. People here are just not as worried to be open and honest about life and the struggles they encounter. The reason - they feel safe, we try our best to be a "judgement free zone".

My point: we can't stop other people from judging but we can stop ourselves from judging. If you want people to feel safe and be honest, they can't fear being judged.

I pray the reputatation of C3 is what planet fitness claims to be - a Judgement free zone

Saturday, September 22, 2012

I had an episode with tumblr and decided to come back to the ol faithful.

I was looking over past posts and realized that blogger and I have a 5+ year relationship. That's just too long to walk away.

My point: there are so many places to interact with social media and one day maybe we will all be on the same one but until then I will keep blogging on blogger and posting on Facebook and tweeting on twitter and I'm even now enjoying google circles not to mention Instagram... I just got a headache thinking about them all.

Monday, March 26, 2012

I have the privilege of sitting in a room with a lot of guys with VISION. There is something about a compelling vision that just generates excitement.

I am taking this week to help people who feel called to start a new venture take another step toward that goal. I am honored to hear all the dreams that these people have but I am even more honored to help them take a step in that direction.

I feel like my role in this season of life is to help people take one step beyond where they are right now. Just today I had the opportunity to talk to a man who wants accountability for spiritual disciplines so we figured out the next step. Then on my way to my meeting I had a parent call me to let me know that her daughter and son in law are having issues with drugs and the only person they want to talk to is me (incredibly humbled). I explained that I will talk to them and figure out the next step. Now I get to be part of a team of leaders that helps others figure out and take the next step to start new churches. WOW

For whatever reason I have been given the responsibility to help people figure out their next step. What an honor to have people share their frustrations and failures followed by their dreams. I LOVE hearing them and helping them remove he clutter and excuses to move forward.

My point: I believe God has a plan for each and every one of us but I also belive the enemy does too. We decide who's plan we are going to fulfill.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

We have created a culture of "evaluate everything". With that, comes some incredibly honest feedback. Some good, some not so good - or is it.

Even the "not so good" is positive if we use it to make things better. We always try to have a critical eye but never a critical heart. There is definitely a difference.

I love the freedom we have as a staff that we are not easily offended. We are also trying to establish an encouraging culture.

We have started taking a few minutes of our staff meeting to encourage someone at the table. This is specific encouragement, not just "way to go" or "good job".

The culture of evaluating can get poison very quickly if we don't balance it with encouragement. We are training our minds and hearts. We have the freedom to evaluate and communicate how to make things better but we also have the responsibility to encourage to make sure we are not just seeing the "not so good".

My point: you will find what you are looking for. If you are looking for something to make better, you won't have any trouble. If you are looking for something that people are doing right - you will find it.

Go encourage someone today. See if you can send a text or email that makes a person smile or even respond with "wow".

Proverbs 11:25 A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

Monday, February 13, 2012

This past weekend we had 35 couples from C3 go on a marriage retreat. It was aweome.

It was a great reminder that a marriage centered on God makes for a much better marriage. The things we most often argue about are issues that come from our fears. Once we are able to identify those fears we can deal with them.

We had a very brave couple sit in front of everyone and work through an issue that has been going on for quite some time. They changed their focus from getting their own way or making sure their opinion was heard to posturing themselves with an open heart to truly understand the other. They changed the goal to understanding the other persons heart.

When you are in a position to understand, you don't have to get all emotional and defensive. When the other person "feels" understood (not when you "think" you understand them), they are more open to trying to understand you.

Watching this couple be that transparent with everyone staring at them was a life changing experience. It took away everyones excuses: If this couple can talk like that in front of everyone, we should be able to do it in private.

My point: marriage is a journey. Are you being a good journey partner. Would you want to journey with someone like you.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, we went to our room and they had personalized cookies - now that is a great retreat! (of course our kids ate them...)

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

One of the best things about my job is the joy of watching anonymous generosity.

I have had the privilege of telling people things like: their entire missions trip has been paid for, someone paid for your marriage retreat & here is a brand new 64gb iPad 2...

I have been on the receiving end of some anonymous gifts too and I used to wrestle with it. I would drive myself crazy thinking - who did this? I then realized that if I thanked them, that was it but if I allowed them to remain anonymous then God would bless them. I thought it was a better "thank you" if I allowed God to take care of it.

Konan just did a great series on the "blessed life" and it has radically changed lives. People are being incredibly generous and God is doing amazing things. You can listen to them on the C3 website but be careful - it will wreck you (in a good way)

My point: Anonymous is fun to be, hard to receive and AWESOME to be the messenger for.