1 it is not ok to laugh at anyoneA Self proclaimed harness experts getting back 20c on the dollar is NOT funny- the man is a nice guy- therefore, it doesn't matter if he considers himself to be a gifted horse bettor, it doesn't matter that he cheated to win a *** high school soccer tournament, according to 2 posters he's a "good guy" so his complete and total failure at the very thing he considers himself an expert at should not be considered funny

B Forum members who make absolute guarantees over various outcomes should not be laughed at. There is nothing funny about posters making 100% guarantees on events, being wrong and having to admit they were wrong. Despite making claims, laughing at such claims as "Eric Abbatiello is an elite driver" is strongly discouraged as ppl's feelings can get hurt. Difference of opinion and making predictions that go against other ppl's predictions is bad for the forum. Everyone should agree or not say anything at all.

C it is not ok to laugh at inanimate objects if they are owned by people. Say Ira Smolin is spotted wearing a fanny pack and a Pee Wee Herman TShirt. This is not funny. By laughing, you can potentially hurt the feelings of the manufacturer of said items, the retail store he got em from. For example, I remember reading about a Baconmilkshake @ Carl's Jr. Initially, I thought that it was a ridiculous idea and was going to comment but I realized that I could hurt the feelings of Carl's Jr corporate officers, employees, stockholders and possibly even pigs.

2 Knock Knock jokes

These types of jokes are strictly forbidden. It's very likely that when delivering the joke, (saying "knock knock") may actually lead members to believe that there is somebody knocking at their door. At this point, it's possible that readers may get confused and check to see if anyone's at the door- when no one is there, they may get disappointed and have their feelings hurt

3 Chicken/Road jokes

These are also not tolerated. Some ppl may be vegans, thus, their feelings might get hurt. Also, if people guess the wrong answer, their self esteem might drop and this can't be risked.

4 Acceptable topics:

HumidityGasoline purityGuacamoleCupidVarnish

Anything else is simply unacceptable, cruel and against the grain of the site

You are welcome. I expect everyone to follow these rules. It really is for the best and I'm sure these rules will make for more enjoyable reading. Personally, I don't see the humor in making fun of other individuals on this site, poking fun at ppl not related to the site or making jokes about any living thing or object owned or formerly owned by posters.

To get started off on the right foot:

"Why do they call it Guacamole? It's not made out of moles!!"

Contrary to some opinions, these guidelines will help make this site more entertaining without the risk of offending anybody

I eagerly await your varnish/Humidity/Gas purity jokes. I, like you all, find them extremely entertaining while also not offending anybody. God forbid anyone's feelings get hurt: it's not like anyone on here can ever do anything worthy of joking about/laughing at.

1 it is not ok to laugh at anyoneA Self proclaimed harness experts getting back 20c on the dollar is NOT funny- the man is a nice guy- therefore, it doesn't matter if he considers himself to be a gifted horse bettor, it doesn't matter that he cheated to win a *** high school soccer tournament, according to 2 posters he's a "good guy" so his complete and total failure at the very thing he considers himself an expert at should not be considered funny

B Forum members who make absolute guarantees over various outcomes should not be laughed at. There is nothing funny about posters making 100% guarantees on events, being wrong and having to admit they were wrong. Despite making claims, laughing at such claims as "Eric Abbatiello is an elite driver" is strongly discouraged as ppl's feelings can get hurt. Difference of opinion and making predictions that go against other ppl's predictions is bad for the forum. Everyone should agree or not say anything at all.

C it is not ok to laugh at inanimate objects if they are owned by people. Say Ira Smolin is spotted wearing a fanny pack and a Pee Wee Herman TShirt. This is not funny. By laughing, you can potentially hurt the feelings of the manufacturer of said items, the retail store he got em from. For example, I remember reading about a Baconmilkshake @ Carl's Jr. Initially, I thought that it was a ridiculous idea and was going to comment but I realized that I could hurt the feelings of Carl's Jr corporate officers, employees, stockholders and possibly even pigs.

2 Knock Knock jokes

These types of jokes are strictly forbidden. It's very likely that when delivering the joke, (saying "knock knock") may actually lead members to believe that there is somebody knocking at their door. At this point, it's possible that readers may get confused and check to see if anyone's at the door- when no one is there, they may get disappointed and have their feelings hurt

3 Chicken/Road jokes

These are also not tolerated. Some ppl may be vegans, thus, their feelings might get hurt. Also, if people guess the wrong answer, their self esteem might drop and this can't be risked.

4 Acceptable topics:

HumidityGasoline purityGuacamoleCupidVarnish

Anything else is simply unacceptable, cruel and against the grain of the site

Note: Varnish no longer an acceptable topic. Considering the average age of the BTW member and the possibility of you dirty rotten jokesters making cracks about "Wood", "hard wood" and "Finishing" someone is bound to get their feelings hurt. Take note: Varnish or varnish related jokes will be met with severe repercussions. Also, Cupid is no longer an acceptable joking point. Some members here surely wear diapers and/or bow hunt. As of this moment, Humidity/Gas Purity/Guacamole are the only acceptable things to discuss in a manner that isn't 100% serious. Surely, this will make the site way more entertaining.

To get things started off on the right foot:

"Why when its really humid do they call it huMIDity? They should call it huHIGHity!"