I think that I am a half decent writer. Until I read stories like this, that is.

This story was INCREDIBLE! The language and descriptions that you used to create the scenes were awesome. I loved Theo and Sophie! I've always wanted to be able to write like this, so I am truly jealous.

And to top it all off, you mentioned Veggietales. That is one of my favourite cartoon series things ever!

Just one thing though, earlier, when they were talking about fruedian slips, She said that the average person lives for 81 years and that they would say 151 fruedian slips. Then you went on to say it was more than 3 a year, but it's not. It's not even two...

I love this story, especially Theo. Sophia is just nuts, and kind of naive. I don't get how she doesn't see that he's being abused. But i love the ending. It's great.

a reader chapter 10 . 10/31/2009

dude, i read this story in about an hour! i'm kinda going through one of those nasty black abysses that teenage life chucks at you sometimes and this story made me laugh out loud in so many places. to be frank, i haven't read a story that has left me feeling so refreshed in a really really long time. thanks!

This story is something great. Great flow of words without trying too hard. The characters are unpredictable yet believable. Complex and endearing. Shame on how the story has not been updated for so long. And are you people kidding me with the number of reviews, this deserves so much more. This is awesome. Period. Here is to hoping you'll update soon.

2bfoundwanting chapter 10 . 5/8/2009

Wow. Wow. this story is so good.

Its one of my favorite stories, no exaggeration. Im not talking favorite stories on fictionpress, i Just mean.. flat out favorite stories.

I need it to be finished... though I have a sinking feeling it never will be as you have not updated in over a year.

Ugh.

Don't do this to me! It's so good, the characters, the feelings, the situation, the narration its all so raw and interesting and pulls you in and makes you think while at the same time being hilarious and entertaining.

And they just kissed! I mean, come on... that was amazing. It was such a good progression, not unrealistic at all. I think it makes perfect sense, especially how it happened, when it happened, that Theo initiated it and how Sophie responded.

I have to say, your other story, the one I just reviewed yesterday... I had to stop reading it after the second chapter. I couldn't go on. I'm sorry. :-/

BUT, this, I decided to read this because the summary sounded fantastic. And the story lives up to it. There is this.. cross between Great Gatsby and Huckleberry Finn feeling to the narration. That kind of restlessness that lies in both stories. I don't know really how to describe it, but I love it.

And this protagonist is infinitely more interesting and complex feeling than the last. Also, Im extremely interested to learn more about her and Theo. I love the dynamic that youve set up so far between them. And her family life is awesome. I love that even though her family is strange and she is sarcastic with them, she still admits to loving them.

But holy crap. This needs to get published. I can see it, really, on the shelf of a store, because it is THAT good. I've never read such a vivid tangible real character before. This is so credible that I wouldn't be surprised if it was an autobiography. I love it. So much.

I love her little quirks, and her rambles, and the innerworking of her mind, and her obliviousness to Theo's love. I love Theo, he's just...I would be friends with him. I wasn't expecting romance, I just thought it would be platonic. But I love that you coupled them together. I LOVE the weird way Sophia just randomly talks to people about personal views about God and stuff, it's just brilliant. And she's brilliant too. You're brilliant, come to think about it.

Truly, one of the best written works I've read this year. Please consider publishing it. I'd buy it.

I wouldn't change anything, other than you updating faster. Or right now. That'd be great.

alright, it's midnight, basically nearing one in the morning and I've school in the morning. So thanks so much for writing this! Wonderful gust (it's like five breaths) of fresh air!

You know, I think it's breathtakingly unfair that you have such a small amount of reviews for this story; you write so well.

From the beginning you've had me completely hooked. I think the thing about your writing that draws me in the most, is this ability you have to make the story seem completely real. Sophie could be a real person, she's that clear in my head. Her quirks and personality traits are well thought out and fascinating. She's funny without trying to be. I absolutely adore her like of odd numbers and her obssession with firecrackers. D

You're settings are lovely too. You don't use endless description to get your point across, you just add little details that make up a bigger picture, the other occupants of Laughlin, the places in it that you could walk past, etc. It's like putting together a puzzle piece.

I especially liked this last chapter. Theo and Sophie didn't seem unrealistic to me at all, more like it was just going to happen, but not that it should be something full of drama that you need to make a big deal out of. It was a fantastic way to end the chapter.

I really hope you update soon, this and the Laundromat Queen, because I've been totally sucked in by both stories. I've been meaning to read more of your work since I finished My Life In One Sentence, years ago now. I'm glad I took the time to do it. )

God, I've only read one chapter and I'm totally hooked. I have a system going, I read four pages of my history book and then a chapter of this, but I don't think that I'll be able to stop at just one chapter. It's so awesome how well-developed Sophia is already; I feel like you really know her already, which is rare because it usually takes a while to really get into the groove of a narrative, you know? I'm so curious that it hurts to go back to doing my homework, haha. I'm definitely going to be reading the rest of this, and I probably won't review until I get to the last chapter, but just know I'm reading, because I'm so astounded by how good this is.

Theo and Sophie wasn't too unexpected or unrealistic at all. It's quite cute, in a good way, not the distgustingly sappy way. All I really have to say is that's it's been (counts fingers) SIX months since you last updated! Don't leave us like this!