Giving Thanks

Don't wait for the Kodak moment.

A few days ago, an older woman knocked on my door and asked if she could see my home. She explained, a bit embarrassed, that close to 70 years ago she had lived in my living room with her parents and five siblings.

The woman, who introduced herself as Levana, immediately struck me as someone from a very different tax bracket than the typical Israelis I meet in Jerusalem. She confirmed my impressions when she explained that she was visiting for the day from one of Israel's wealthiest communities.

As Levana entered my home, she first glanced towards the stairs which were constructed when our house was built up ten years ago from being a one-room apartment into a four-room home. I offered to show her the new upstairs, but she didn't hear me.

She had already sighted our living room, and she was transfixed. "It is exactly the same as I remember!" she squealed as she moved inside. Her face lit up and before my eyes, she was transformed from the cosmopolitan woman who strode through my door into the little girl she had been when she lived in this room.

She pointed in one corner and said, "This is where my parents slept!" and then pointing to the other corner said, "And this is where I slept with my five siblings!"

When I asked her how it was possible that so many people had lived together in one room, she flashed me an ironic smile brimming with nostalgia. "Don't ask!"

Levana circled around my living room. "My brothers and sisters and I would chase each other around this room for hours. I still remember the Shabbat candles my mother lit over there, and the family meal we would eat when my father came home from synagogue over there. And the windows! These are the windows where I would sit and watch the snow falling in the winter."

"Over there," she pointed to our entrance hall, "my mother had her kitchen. It was no more than a closet with a small gas stove, but I can still remember coming home from school and smelling her cooking from the front steps. If only I could cook like she did!"

It is difficult to imagine how Levana's family coped under such crowded conditions. I am the mother of four children, not six, and I still feel a bit crowded in our home which is at least three times as large as the one where Levana spent her childhood.

On top of this, the years that Levana lived with her family in my living room were times of food rationing, wars, curfews, and hand-to-mouth survival.

After Levana left, I thought about her a great deal, and about my own daughter knocking on the front door of this house in 70 years. What would she say about the years she will spend in these crayon-marked walls?

What is revolutionary about Judaism is that it teaches us to be thankful for the routine blessings in our life as well.

It struck me that Levana's central memories were not of the Kodak moments of her young life. Her fondest memories were of everyday family routine -- playing tag in the living room with her brothers and sisters, her mother cooking in the kitchen, eating a Shabbat meal. Her sweetest memories were of her family simply being together. Really together.

It is human nature to be grateful for things that are new.

We are thankful for the new baby that we have anxiously waited for.
We are thankful for the new job we've been searching for half a year.
We are thankful for winning $20,000 in the lottery.
We are thankful for recovering from an illness.

What is revolutionary about Judaism is that it teaches us to be thankful for the routine blessings in our life as well.

We open our eyes in the morning and the first thing we do is thank God that we are still alive.

We go to the bathroom, and afterwards we say a blessing thanking God that our body is still functioning as it should be.

We sit down to eat a bowl of cornflakes, and before we take a bite we say a blessing thanking God that we still have food.

We say our morning prayers and thank God for the daily gift of being a Jew.

In this season of thanksgiving, take a few minutes to thank God for the blessings in your life that may never make it into your photo album.

For the games of tag in your living room, for family meals in the glow of the Shabbat candles, for the warm, cozy feeling of home when you look out of your window at the cold darkness.

Take a few moments this week to be grateful for the everyday gifts of being together. Really together.

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About the Author

Chana Jenny Weisberg is the author of One Baby Step at a Time: 7 Secrets of Jewish Motherhood (Urim) as well as the creator of the popular Jewish Mom Video Series that can be viewed on her website www.JewishMom.com.

Visitor Comments: 14

(14)
Elisabeth Soros,
November 20, 2011 7:52 PM

Great sharing!

You are right. Todays lots of people are complaining and very few thinking to give Thank You.We are owning nothing. Evrything are coming from the Creator, the only One G-d..All the Universe and wha we have belongs to G-d.

(13)
Beth,
November 25, 2007 3:13 AM

Thanks for the article.How grateful we should be always to Hashem for His great LOVE. When we see things just normal and as a routine, others see them in a wider perspective.

(12)
lilly,
November 23, 2007 9:59 AM

we are grateful people

I loved your article and it also reminded me of how grateful we always are.

(11)
Anonymous,
November 27, 2006 3:40 AM

just in time

as you think everything is not right, this article came just in time for me to read.things still stay the way they are, but we have to look at them through different eyes- some of your articles.The one you had about "Kvetching" I also oppenend at the right moment, after having an argument.We really have to wake up and enjoy our kids and family. thanks

(10)
Anonymous,
November 25, 2006 8:38 PM

great

thank you for reminding me what to be grateful for.

(9)
Lisa,
November 24, 2006 1:58 PM

Thank YOU

Caught up in the daily hardships of life, we often forget to take the time to stop and be thankful for the little things we take for granted and the many people in our lives.

(8)
ralph,
November 24, 2006 12:27 PM

Thank you for reminding me of (the little things)

Just this morning Lucy & I were talking about the games etc.And recalling our poor, but beautiful childhood

(7)
AnneWeil,
November 23, 2006 11:25 PM

About Giving Thanks

Thank you for this wonderful article by Chana Weisberg. I was missing her articles and hoping to see something from her soon. She has a way of making our tradition real and accessible to each one of us. Thank you for featuring her article..I look forward to the next one.

(6)
GerriHirschberg,
November 21, 2006 1:27 PM

How this article hit me.

I really enjoyed reading this. I am now devorced but yet all the good times are still with me. I am very thankful for my 2 daughters. When ever I have to choosean identifing number or name it always has something to do withy girls. This article brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.

(5)
Anonymous,
November 21, 2006 9:05 AM

tHANK YOU FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL ARTICLE!

Thank you for this beautiful article. I am thankful for the good things in my life especially my sight, hearing and feet that work when I need them. After two tears in my knee I am thankful I can walk almost without pain due to great physial therapist. And today especially since I helped my daughter with her twins for two days straight. I am thankful to Hashem that I have parents who survived the war and are grandparents and great grandparents a few times over. I am thankful for Hashem giving me my husband with a bunch of children who sometimes drive me crazy. But that's OK it's the script Hashem gave me. And now most of all thank G-d for my own existence and celebrating a granddaughter's bas mitzvah melava malka this motzei shabbos in Toronto. And thanks Aish for your wonderful website. Yashar Koach a zillion times.

(4)
IlanaLeeds,
November 21, 2006 5:46 AM

Thank you

for the reminder that our blessings are plentiful, and may we continue to be blessed!!

(3)
hadassa,
November 20, 2006 10:59 AM

thanks for the reminder

chana/jenny thanks for the reminder that we always need to be grateful for everything we have great or small and that no matter how things go we still have what to be thankful for.... (kit!)

(2)
Anonymous,
November 19, 2006 8:59 AM

Thank You!

Your story was inspiring and I've passed it along to all those I know who keep complaining about everything instead of looking at all they have and appreciating it. I hope it opens their eyes!

(1)
ShiraMathias,
November 19, 2006 7:03 AM

It is a beautiful uplifting article. Great for this time of year! Thank you

I just got married and have an important question: Can we eat rice on Passover? My wife grew up eating it, and I did not. Is this just a matter of family tradition?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chametz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chametz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. Chametz is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Hence the category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chametz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

Products of kitniyot often appear like chametz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chametz). Also, chametz grains may become inadvertently mixed together with kitniyot. Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot were prohibited.

In Jewish law, there is one important distinction between chametz and kitniyot. During Passover, it is forbidden to even have chametz in one's possession (hence the custom of "selling chametz"). Whereas it is permitted to own kitniyot during Passover and even to use it - not for eating - but for things like baby powder which contains cornstarch. Similarly, someone who is sick is allowed to take medicine containing kitniyot.

What about derivatives of kitniyot - e.g. corn oil, peanut oil, etc? This is a difference of opinion. Many will use kitniyot-based oils on Passover, while others are strict and only use olive or walnut oil.

Finally, there is one product called "quinoa" (pronounced "ken-wah" or "kin-o-ah") that is permitted on Passover even for Ashkenazim. Although it resembles a grain, it is technically a grass, and was never included in the prohibition against kitniyot. It is prepared like rice and has a very high protein content. (It's excellent in "cholent" stew!) In the United States and elsewhere, mainstream kosher supervision agencies certify it "Kosher for Passover" -- look for the label.

Interestingly, the Sefardi Jewish community does not have a prohibition against kitniyot. This creates the strange situation, for example, where one family could be eating rice on Passover - when their neighbors will not. So am I going to guess here that you are Ashkenazi and your wife is Sefardi. Am I right?

Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Moses ben Nachman (1194-1270), known as Nachmanides, and by the acronym of his name, Ramban. Born in Spain, he was a physician by trade, but was best-known for authoring brilliant commentaries on the Bible, Talmud, and philosophy. In 1263, King James of Spain authorized a disputation (religious debate) between Nachmanides and a Jewish convert to Christianity, Pablo Christiani. Nachmanides reluctantly agreed to take part, only after being assured by the king that he would have full freedom of expression. Nachmanides won the debate, which earned the king's respect and a prize of 300 gold coins. But this incensed the Church: Nachmanides was charged with blasphemy and he was forced to flee Spain. So at age 72, Nachmanides moved to Jerusalem. He was struck by the desolation in the Holy City -- there were so few Jews that he could not even find a minyan to pray. Nachmanides immediately set about rebuilding the Jewish community. The Ramban Synagogue stands today in Jerusalem's Old City, a living testimony to his efforts.

It's easy to be intimidated by mean people. See through their mask. Underneath is an insecure and unhappy person. They are alienated from others because they are alienated from themselves.

Have compassion for them. Not pity, not condemning, not fear, but compassion. Feel for their suffering. Identify with their core humanity. You might be able to influence them for the good. You might not. Either way your compassion frees you from their destructiveness. And if you would like to help them change, compassion gives you a chance to succeed.

It is the nature of a person to be influenced by his fellows and comrades (Rambam, Hil. De'os 6:1).

We can never escape the influence of our environment. Our life-style impacts upon us and, as if by osmosis, penetrates our skin and becomes part of us.

Our environment today is thoroughly computerized. Computer intelligence is no longer a science-fiction fantasy, but an everyday occurrence. Some computers can even carry out complete interviews. The computer asks questions, receives answers, interprets these answers, and uses its newly acquired information to ask new questions.

Still, while computers may be able to think, they cannot feel. The uniqueness of human beings is therefore no longer in their intellect, but in their emotions.

We must be extremely careful not to allow ourselves to become human computers that are devoid of feelings. Our culture is in danger of losing this essential aspect of humanity, remaining only with intellect. Because we communicate so much with unfeeling computers, we are in danger of becoming disconnected from our own feelings and oblivious to the feelings of others.

As we check in at our jobs, and the computer on our desk greets us with, "Good morning, Mr. Smith. Today is Wednesday, and here is the agenda for today," let us remember that this machine may indeed be brilliant, but it cannot laugh or cry. It cannot be happy if we succeed, or sad if we fail.

Today I shall...

try to remain a human being in every way - by keeping in touch with my own feelings and being sensitive to the feelings of others.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...