Tuesday, March 25, 2008

So I'm reading EDSBS today (and as a side note, Damn you, Orson! How the fuck do write about college football - and only college football - 365 days year, you magnificent bastard?!) and they have a post regarding a story in the Canton newspaper about Jim Tressel and a what a normal guy he is (normal, that is, for the head of a vast and dark evil empire).

Anyhoo, included in the story was a picture of Tressel and his family and, damn, I think I have a crush on Whitney Tressel (back row)...

I know, I know. I feel so dirty and I hate to admit it in public like this. But the fact is, Daughter of Darth Vader or not, she's cute.

P.S. In the newspaper story, it says Tressel mows his own lawn and shovels his own snow. For a guy living in a $1.4M home who makes just shy of $3 mil a year, that's probably an anomaly.

P.P.S. As has already been pointed out in the comments section, are we really being owned by a guy with two foo-foo dogs like that?! Needless to say, as with everything else Lord Vader, I pictured Tressel's dogs (which sounds like the name of a really hardcore punk band) in a slightly different light. I imagined them right up there with the Hounds of Hell. You know, huge hairy, bomb sniffing beasts ready to attack an opposing team's bus as soon as it enters The 'Shoe. Not two little Maltese things that look they were stolen from Lindsay Lohan's yard.

i try not to let rivalry affiliations cloud my judgment in evaluating a girl's hotness, but sometimes it's difficult. i'll even give props to Florida girls, though i have less than no love for that swampy hellhole. Even Fat Phil Fulmer has a cute daughter. As for the rest of the girls at UcheaT--heinous.

Easy there tiger!!! While Whitney is very cute, and very, very, very perky in all the right places, and the fantasy of a updated Montague-Capulet-esque romance is appealing, she's a Buckeye, you're a Wolverine.

Focus!!!(Imagine two fingers held in front of your eyes)

It's just not natural.

BTW, is anyone else creeped out by the supposed lord of evil being the owner of two fou-fou dogs?

For some reason I was picturing something like rottweilers, pit bulls, dobermans, gnawing on human skull or an old oil can.

I think it is possible if I were to date Whitney... Ol' Jimbo would be too busy thinking about the welfare of his daughter and not plan properly for the game against Michigan. I'm willing to do that for the team!

Why do I look at that picture and hear...?"Well now its time to say good-bye to Jim and all his kin.And they would like to thank you folks fer kindly droppin' in.You’re all invited back again to this evil lair,To have a heapin' helpin' of their lying Buckeye fare,OSU BS that is. Set a spell. Take your shoes off. Y’all come back now, y’hear?"

Yost, since you insist on a Tressel story, i'll tell you one (although i hope that people involved in this story don't find it here/take offense to me posting it).

In Jimmy T's first year at OSU, his son (older one, i won't mention him by name) was a student here. Him and three other guys shared a house on south campus. One day i happened to be at that house, and we were getting into curing our winter quarter blues with some herbal remedies.

Suddenly, phone rings: it's Jimmy and he wants to drop something off for his son. Problem is: Jimmy's son isn't there, the house smells like Bob Marley's ashtray, and the roommates are incapacitated. Smart people that we are, we vacate the living room and air it out, hoping Jimmy will use the front door. After that we move to the kitchen, shut all doors, and proceed to "get down". Just as we're done, Jimmy knocks on the back door (leads into the kitchen). We scramble, make a lot of noise, and run back to the living room, as the only guy that lives there (son's roommate) is left to answer the door. As the door opens, a huge cloud of smoke rushes into Jimmy's face and escapes the kitchen. He doesn't even blink, or say anything, nor does he come in: he leaves the door open for about 5 minutes to air the kitchen out (in the middle of C-bus winter) as he has a conversation with his son's roommate (who's shaking, thinking that cops are already on their way). He drops things off for his son and goes on his way.

We spoke to Jimmy's son about this incident since then, but he says he never got any grief from his dad about it.

So, when Tressel tells you that he treats his players "like family", he's speaking the truth. In my experience he's very non-judgmental, and is willing to give his family (and even their friends/roommates) another chance.

and BTW, i've met both the daughters in person, and Carlee is way hotter and cooler than Whitney.

Ok Wing, that makes total sense, I think we all know people who are hotter in person based on personality, how they carry themselves, etc. That having been said, you can't motorboat a personality. I'm just sayin'.

Josh,the kid is my friend, so i've never really had my sights set on one of his sisters. That being said, both girls are athletic, good looking, and very social, so neither one of them would be a bad catch.

I reaally like those Thexy (say with definite feminine accent) leather loafer\sandels. Fashion faux-pau: Has on his football gear and then looks ready to hit the Miami club scene in the loafers. Does he mow his lawn in those?!

And that's the important thing. I've never been a quantity guy- I'm all about the quality.

And if by chance one of you Tressels comes across this thread keep in mind what Catie said, we're just a bunch of idiots having fun. Unless it's actually you Sweatervest, in which case, dude- I'd totally do your daughter.

About the O face.....I was thinking about that the other night and I thought, that would mean that YOU would know when I ....ummm.....yeah. Hmmm....I might not be able to share when I experience the O face......out of self preservation and all......I might not ever live it down!

Lol, glad to see fishing for compliments still works; have been WAY bored at work today while being non-productive. I was gonna ask if you guys thought I was special, but I already know I am- my mommmy told me so.

'Cause I'm good enough, and I'm smart enough, and Gol-darnit, people like me!

Of course, it would not be easy dating either of them. The old saying "make my daughter cry and I'll make you cry" becomes more terrifying when the entire OSU offensive line is having at you for making his girl cry...

"the greatest trick the devil ever played? making us believe he doesn't exist"

and just how does make us believe he doesn't exist??? by mowing his own yard, shoveling his own snow, and owning a couple of cute foo-foo dogs. that's how.

ever see the interviews of a serial killer's neighbors? they always talk about what nice guy he was. always friendly but kept to himself. mowed his own lawn. shoveled his own snow. had two foo-foo dogs...

and Yost? trust me on this one- the "cute" ain't worth the rest of the baggage. no one's that good.

Sic,R2 confirmed the rumor in a presser tonight. I agree about the O-line and if we have an injury there's the very real possibility of a true freshman having to step in. SCARY. In my mind we have a few things going for us though.

First, I don't think we will face a single team better conditioned than we are. Everything that's coming out of Spring Ball screams awesome in the physical shape department.

Secondly, you have our talent, which to be honest has been like taking a chick with a smoking hot body and dressing her in a potato sack. The conditioning will help, but keep in mind you're also going to have people who have been stuck on the depth chart due to politics who are going to absolutely blow up. I'd expect at least 2 surprise major contributors, maybe more.

Third, the offense will be new to us, but it'll also be new to everyone we play. I think this situation with Lloyd would have been worse than it is with R2. Less talent + predictability would've netted 8-4 or 7-5 for sure.

Fourth, the defense is gonna be pretty damn good, and even with a "bad" offense we'll still score some points. Aggression is going to be key on both sides of the ball.

Perhaps I'm setting myself up for disappointment on a Golden Domer scale but I really don't think so.

PS. How nice is it to hold up ND as the standard for pure, unadulterated failure. I love it.

i agree--it was blissful to watch the domer o-line get thrown around like rag dolls. hail hail to ol' notre lame...honestly, i wish i could bottle up that joy and use it for dippin' sauce for chicken fingers.

Justin was a leagacy- his dad played for Bo in the early 80's. Since R2's former players & so many of the other guys on our roster now seem to love him, the staff, & Bawais, I have to wonder about just how bad had things gotten in Lloyd's last few years.

3 of our returning linemen quit rather than stick w/ the new conditiong program. Yeech.

Sic, this is from a poster over at GoBlog and reinforces just how bad things have been:

Michigan was 75th overall in total offense and 9th in the big 10 last year. Even with a depleted roster, I highly doubt a RRod coached Michigan team will come close to being that bad next year. The upgrade in coaching staff will more than make up for the attrition.

You're kidding yourself if you think Michigan will be bad on offense. This team right now has more talent on it than any team Rodriguez has ever had. He would have coached last year's backups to a better offensive output than Debord-led starters.

75th nationally! 9th in the Big 10! Unbelievable. While losing Boren is bad RRod will still make it work. I hope he finds a nice soft place to land because he didn't want to man up in Ann Arbor.

75th and 9th? Good God man. If this happens again this year, I once again promise to shit a live chicken.

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