Tuesday, August 21, 2007

There have been so very many firsts in my life. In everyones lives really. The first day of this, the first day of that, the first time I realized that I'm crazy, the first time I realized I wasn't so crazy after all. The first time I tried soy sausage and realized it wasn't that bad. The first time I tried sushi and realized I had been missing out on something amazing all those years.

There was the first time I did "it" (don't worry I'll spare you). The first time I thought I was in love. The first time I knew I was in love. The first time I fell out of love. The first time I told someone I loved them and didn't mean it. The first time I told someone I didn't love them and wished I had meant it. There was my first broken heart and the first time I broke one.

There was the first time I realized that Cherry Coke was so much better than those other colas I drank. The first time I smoked a cigarette. The first time I realized I needed to quit smoking. The first time I drank a dirty dry martini. The first time I had one too many dirty dry martinis.

There was the first time I met a friend. The first time I met a best friend. The first time one of my best friends introduced me to Mr. Kaos. The first time I met Mr. Kaos' family. The first time he met mine. The first time we knew we were going to last. The first time we knew we were going to be a family. The first time we told someone we were going to be a family.

Then there was the first time, that first moment when we were a family. The moment when after months of pregnancy and days of labor K made her triumphant debut in the face of adversity and she drew her first breaths and cried her first cry.

And the first time I knew a whole knew kind of love.

Of all the firsts in my life, and there are so many more than I have listed, three really stand out.

Oh, I love this! I don't know if these are really the most importnat firsts in my life but they are the ones that first jumped into my head: 1. The first time I went out and bought groceries for myself and brought them home to my first apartment. 2. The first time I wrote my son's new, legal name after we adopted him. 3. The first time I felt my daughter kick and it knew it was really a kick and nit just a gas bubble.

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the thing about me?

i'm a simple mommy in a complicated world... or maybe a complicated mommy in a simple world. i love my daughter, my husband, my friends & my home. i seek a happy life with a nice balance of the crazed me that was and the mommy me that is.