Introduced just in time to appear in Christmas stockings and dorm-room Secret Snowflake exchanges nationwide, this odorous novelty comes from J&D Foods. You might recognize them as purveyors of "baconnaise" and other products.

Using POWER BACON will probably make everyone drawn to you like you were the most powerful magnet on Earth. And by everyone, we mean friends, acquaintances, beautiful strangers, dogs, bears, swamp alligators, lions and even pigs. It's like an aphrodisiac for your armpits.

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This product costs $13. Yes, it's tempting as a solution to the problem of what to buy for both the frat boys and Redditors in your life. But please do not feed this already out-of-control trend with your hard-earned money. Do not encourage the baconatics to walk around in public reeking of fried meats.