SPOILER ALERT – If you’ve
not seen Turner and Hooch, be warned this post will give away some key aspects
of the plot. We figure that's okay given the movie is about a quarter of a century old.

Recently Phil and I joined
some friends (two and four legged) for a rainy movie afternoon watching Turnerand Hooch. I was a kid when this movie came out in 1989, but it pre-dates most
of the vet students I teach now who were born after 1990. Somehow I had
forgotten that Scott Turner, played by Tom Hanks, falls in love with a
veterinarian (Dr Emily Carson, played by Mare Winningham).

So that propels it into the
category of a veterinary romance. These are few and far between (if you can’t
imagine why, check out this Once Kitten, Twice Shy post).

In fact there is romance on
two levels. There’s Turner’s relationship with the vet, but there’s also the much more plausible and charming bromance
between Turner and Hooch. Hooch is brilliantly played by Beasley the Dogue de Bordeaux.

According to the Internet Movie Database, Beasley was born in 1978 and died in 1992 at the age of 14. So he would have been ten years old when this movie was made – thereby putting paid to that annoying saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" (unless of course these were old tricks). Beasley was owned and trained by Clint Rowe. According to other sources, Beasley was supported by three other dogs, none of whom are named in any source I can locate. Which explains why in one scene Hooch seems to have ballooned to double his size. These dogs do drool a lot and the drool almost deserves a credit in the movie, there’s that much of it. Though I am pretty sure the sound effects team might have been responsible for the unsettlingly noisy moist landings of dog saliva all over every scene. In my experience, saliva isn't that noisy (and I know a thing or two about dog drool).

Hooch’s original owner is
killed because he has witnessed some fishy business going on (in a fish company no less), and the baddies
want to cover their tracks. Some animal control officers rock up and
demonstrate some abominable dog handling, then Turner takes over – handling
Hooch almost as badly. He takes Hooch in and together they work to solve the mystery,
though without Hooch actually spotting the perpetrator and barking incessantly before destroying an entire office and breaking out of the police station, the investigation
wouldn’t have gone anywhere.

In fact Hooch drives
everything in the movie, even introducing Turner to the local vet (Hooch has an
interest in the vet’s collie, although the ultimate result of their dalliance
is a bit far-fetched in that the collie gives birth to a bunch of other
purebred collies and a single purebred Dogue de Bourdeaux. Clearly the scriptwriters weren't familiar with this tome). One does wonder
what kind of vet lets an entire female purebred dog just free-roam around
suburbia where she can meet up with an entire male Dogue de Bourdeaux. Clearly
the movie is set in a parallel universe were pet overpopulation and caesarians
are unheard of, and purebred dogs rule the streets.

Dr Carson seems nice enough,
and appears to operate a sole charge clinic from her house (probably the norm
back in those days). She falls for Turner, even though he has extreme OCD,
struggles with anger management and has a very annoying habit of yelling all
the time. And he's not a responsible dog owner, so he's not exactly off the scale on the hot-o-meter.

For example, there’s a scene
where Turner is outside his house, in his underpants at 11pm, desperate to
sleep and Hooch won’t stop barking. He loses the plot.

Turner: What? What? What is
it? What? If you’re hungry, finish the hamburgers! Eat the buns! You’re not
thirsty? You’re not touching the water, the orange juice, cranapple – what is
it I am supposed to to? Make you a margarita?

Turner does seem to take
pride in the fact that his love interest is a veterinarian, as evidenced in one
of the many bro-chat scenes.

Detective Sutton: “You
humped the vet.”Detective Turner: “Oh,
“humped the vet”! “Humped the..!” You have a lot of class. I happen to have had
a religious experience with the future Mrs Scott Turner who happens to…Yes. She
holds a doctorate in veterinary medicine.”

Ah, yes ladies. Doesn't that make you feel spesh about that vet degree?

Without Hooch, Turner is a
bit unappealing. But he is redeemed somewhat by falling in love with Hooch and shrugging off things that once made him hysterical, like the inside of his car being eaten. Hooch, for his part, eats the car a lot less once he's allowed to sleep inside and go on stakeouts. There's a lesson in that for all of us!

Disappointingly, Hooch is
shot defending Turner and dies at the clinic. This is one of those scenes which
might well have veterinarians throwing cushions at the TV. The only treatment
Hooch seems to get is IV fluids and some gauze on the wound and a bit of
serious cardiac auscultation.

Dr Carson insists he is losing blood but he looks
pretty well perfused to me. The word transfusion isn’t uttered once. Yet
presumably Hooch’s ladyfriend is in the house and might have been an
appropriate donor. There’s a clink which might or might not be a bullet being
removed and then Hooch closes his eyes and Dr Carson pronounces him dead.

According to an interviewwith Director Roger Spottiswoode, when they made it they shot
a version where Hooch lived. Then they did a test. Two versions of the movie
screened at the same time with different audiences. There was the version in
which Hooch dies, and the version in which he lived. Hardly a
placebo-controlled double blinded study if you ask me! Somehow they determined that the Hooch-dying
version was slightly preferred. The stats were marginal so the studio let
Spottiswoode decide. He took a day and decided Hooch should die. But he has
been copping flak for that one ever since (and rightly so, methinks).

So if you’re going to watch
this movie, have the tissues (and cushions) handy. And if you’re watching it in canine company
be ready for some interaction. In the scenes where Hooch growls, some of our
audience members were moved to growl and bark back at the TV.

Twenty six years later, it’s
still a good watch as long as you can suspend your veterinary disbelief and
cope with some eighties hair.

Veterinary Ethics: Navigating Tough Cases

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