The most recent survey results from earlier this year once again show that worker confidence in having enough money to live comfortably throughout their retirement years is not very high. Only 14% of people are "very confident" about their retirement prospects (compared with 27% as recently as 2007) while 23% say they are not at all confident about having a comfortable retirement.

People recognize the trouble they are in, and with good reason.

According to the RCS, 35% of all workers think they need to accumulate at least $500,000 by the time they retire to live comfortably in retirement. Eighteen percent feel they need between $250,000 and $499,999, while 34% think they need to save less than $250,000 for a comfortable retirement. At current rates, $500,000 purchases barely $2,500 per month in guaranteed income for a 65 year-old male.

There is thus very good reason to believe that people greatly underestimate the amount of money they will need to retire comfortably.

But even with these misplaced expectations (again according to RCS data), only two-thirds of workers report that they have saved for retirement at all, down from 75% in 2009 and only 58% (down from 65% in 2009) are currently saving for retirement. Fully 60% of workers report less than $25,000 in total savings and investments, and many had to dip into savings last year just to make ends meet. Even for those who are focused upon retirement planning, life sometimes "gets in the way."

Much retirement planning advice focuses on saving more and saving earlier. It's terrific advice. Not nearly enough of us save and not nearly enough of us save enough. But this advice isn't always realistic and often comes couched in unjustified criticism.

There are other significant financial goals and choices other than retirement planning. Many families want to own their own homes. Many want to send their children to college. Both of these choices require substantial savings.

Many retirement planning advisers insist that college assistance should only come after maxing out the 401(k) each and every year, but many parents are not willing to go that route at the expense of their children's prospective education. Different people have different priorities.

Many workers are also incredibly discouraged about the prospect of saving and investing generally, including for retirement. According to the RCS, just 16% of workers are very confident that their investments will grow in value going forward. The secular bear market for stocks we have seen since the turn of the century and, much more recently, exceedingly low yields on bonds have resulted in some very disillusioned investors. That is a perfectly understandable reaction.

Many alleged experts in retirement planning are far too willing to offer advice without seeming to recognize the competing interests faced by those hoping to plan well. Much of what is called advice is really hectoring about the need to save more and to save more sooner and does not seem to recognize that alternative choices are not entirely or even necessarily wrong.

A more realistic approach to retirement planning will not be all that different substantively — in general, people should save more and start saving sooner. But a better approach will meet the people who need good advice "where they live" without judgment or condescension, while remaining forthright about the challenges that await them.

Not everyone can give retirement planning the kind of focus and attention that they might otherwise like to. Per EBRI, 42% of workers identify job uncertainty as their most pressing financial concern, 20% report that their debt levels are a major problem and an additional 42% describe debt as a minor problem. Others have faced real economic, familial or health-related hardship. Some of us had what they honestly believed were more pressing priorities.

More realistic retirement planning will seek to offer the best and most creative approaches to the vexing problems people face without presuming that they have been irresponsible just because their planning is not yet as advanced as they might like it to be.

If retirement planning is to be successful, it needs to start by being realistic.

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