Famke Janssen returned to her home last Saturday night and mysteriousfly found on a shelf next to her bed a book called The Lonely Doll by Dare Wright, which is about “some creepy ass, straw-haired, side-eye throwing doll named Edith who is really lonely until two bears, Mr. Bear and Little Bear, randomly show up in her life.” NOPE. Not creepy at all. (Dlisted)

Jennifer Garner spoke passionately and tearfully to the California State Assembly Judiciary Committee in order to get a law passed making it illegal for the paparazzi to take photos of celebrity children. (Celebitchy)

Tina Fey, Casey Wilson, and David Milch are all getting back into the business of making TV shows. (WG)

Mark Wahlberg says that when Robert Downey, Jr. is done with the role, he’d like to take over Iron Man. Makes total sense. (Slashfilm)

Jessica is fabulous in her deconstruction of Collins’ outfit: “Lily Collins is Rooney Mara in Rooney! It’s a whimsical romp through the life of an uptight starlet with a crippling fear of color, her sassy sister, and their football-loving family.” (GFY)

Ahead of the release of Kick Ass 2, author and graphic novelist Warren Ellis explains why it is we need violent stories. (Vulture)

I am all for nerdy themed wedding shoots, folks, but it only works if BOTH parties involved are into it, otherwise it just looks like the attractive woman in the cute dress is marrying a giant f*cking dork. (Unreality)

In a song being hailed as having the best rap lyrics in the entire history of the Universe, Kendrick Lamar said some mean things about some other rappers, and now those rappers are rapping back some not so nice things about Lamar, and the fact that I had no idea who Kendrick Lamar was until two days ago suggests this is all some brilliantly executed PR stunt. Or that I’m woefully out of touch when it comes to music. (Play some Mumford! *hold up lighter*) (Vulture)

Here’s a handy little guide to help you tell Attorney General Eric Holder apart from The Killings Stephen Holder. Shut up, it’s that kind of day. (Hairpin)

Hey lefties: Did you know that you’re more prone to post-traumatic stress disorder? Now you do. (Healthland)

In Part II of Vince’s diary about his stint at the Gathering of the Juggalos, we learn about the guy who volunteered to have his nipple ring ripped out. And yes, there is video, you sickos. (FilmDrunk)

Finally, even as a Goth girl back in the day, Heidi Klum was a irresistibly attractive.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.