Professor, do you think there needs to be an intellectual appreciation of the merits of psychological detachment or disidentification (i.e. your ‘letting go’), or is it purely a matter of feeling and the so-called heart?

Such a fantastic question Hariod! One that has caused me to ponder my reply for several days — of which I do apologize. 😮 I have been pretty busy for such deep excellent questions. Thank you! 😉

Knowing consciousness and metaphysics is your field of fond expertise, I should let YOU share your answer. As I am an advocate for human-life ‘challenges’ or those empirical circumstances that assist us in becoming more whole, I do not necessarily shy away from potential emotional distress, disappointment, or pain with a spirit of fear. Does that mean I’m reckless with my heart and emotions? No. Hopefully wiser having learned how to fail better. 😊 This also does not mean I shy away from human euphoria either, for I absolutely EMBRACE and seek out happiness, purpose, and impactful engagements. I most often feel/think the two mental-emotional states coexist, but rarely simultaneously. Why asynchronous? Because for me I really try to Carpe Tempore, savor the moment I find myself, yes even when uncomfortable or painful. Granted, I much prefer the dopamine, endorphines, serotonin, etc, because that’s the way Nature seems to have wired me/us for over 160,000 years, however, much can indeed be learned from the “hard times.”

So, to try and answer your fine question more directly Hariod, I DO think/feel that finding mechanisms to disidentify or detach when appropriate are good tools to possess. And to the latter half of your question, I’m not sure that feelings of the heart or always independent of our heads/minds. What do you think Sir? 🙂

Will come back next week with my inanely blathering response dear Professor — currently overwhelmed with things beyond my capacity to deal with and the brain, such as it is, has collapsed in a wearied heap.

“I most often feel/think the two mental-emotional states coexist” — I agree with you there, Professor, and may go further in suggesting the dichotomous distinction is ultimately artificial, itself a mind construct. Nonetheless, for the purposes of furthering our understanding, it can be helpful to reduce experience in such ways, I’m sure you’d agree? That being so, then I do think an ‘intellectual appreciation’ (to resuscitate my previous words) is necessary in this sphere of so-called ‘letting go’ (your words). Still, I think it’s more what we might choose to call ‘wisdom’ rather than a rationalised argument or position, though it remains an intellectual knowing, regardless. I do think it entirely possible to have a psychological detachment from the objects of our desires, in the sense that we need not pursue, or identify with, them possessively, viz: “s/he is mine, and I hers/his”. Perhaps the correct word then becomes ‘preference’ (or somesuch) rather than ‘desire’, the former being somewhat cooler as regards the passions, and more tempered by wise understanding.

The danger, perhaps, in taking a trope like ‘letting go’, and deeming it synonymous with wisdom, is that we err, we deceive ourselves in confabulations of philosophising away that which we deem to be beneath us — the crude and heated passions of desirous attachments. I tend to be sceptical of those who use the phrase all too readily, and rather think they are indeed creating blind spots for their self-deceiving ends. Such types often can be heard saying, “But it’s okay”, after describing — usually at great length — some recent misfortune. I see it as part of the shallow self-help culture of the nineties and noughties, most if which (as far as I can tell) appeared to be based in the aforementioned attempts at ‘philosophising away’ very real and extant states. But still, there is such a thing, there is a form of knowledge (or wisdom), that confirms to us that we need not always respond reflexively and unthinkingly to our desires and passions. I suspect that if or when we do that, or arrive at that state of understanding, there’s a concomitant psychological freedom that’s sensed, and which itself is more rewarding than the denied indulgence.

Well then! You CERTAINLY came back with a most delicious potent concoction this go round Hariod! And you did NOT disappoint either! Thank you so kindly Sir for not only thoroughly stimulating our/my senses and cerebral synapses, but doing it in a prompt manner! This was unexpected given your state of overwhelmedness days ago. I very much appreciate that. ❤

I find, simply, that I totally agree with you here H. Denying indulgences should not have to be too torturous — as I would know in the SSC BDSM lifestyle 😉 — while your fine context of wisdom totally applies as well. I should think these “exercises” lend to more refinement and balance in ALL human endeavors of physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual exploration and growth! Yes? 🙂

Many, many thanks to H for taking the time to give this excellent feedback! You Sir, are a diamond among stones. 😉

Strong post Professor and one many would relate to I’m sure. The stepping forward of reluctant soles/souls – often very painful, ultimately almost always towards a brighter future. There’s a reason one leaves.

Mmmm, clever use of words Esme, as always. ❤ There are reasons to leave as there are to stay; I understand the choices. I do sometimes ask, "Why do we cheat ourselves from abundance? Equally or more so for others?” 🤔🙄

Yes I guess at times we must learn to let go, but doing so is the hardest part.
Very soon I will have to do this and doing it is going to be so hard as I may never see her again. We became such good and close friends, like I had known her all my life. Sometimes you do meet the most beautiful people, till it’s times to say good bye and move away. Thank you for this post.