Sexton enjoys being back in comfort zone as Phoebus coach

It's a beautiful spring afternoon, so the doors to Phoebus High's gymnasium are open to let the sunlight in.

Athletes are doing their thing — a girl is running baseline to baseline for layups, and the football players are lifting weights. Off in a corner, the grown men laugh as they swap old stories.

Remember that game against Kecoughtan when … What about the time Greg got so mad at that kid … And when the waitress comes, he orders a Diet Coke!

After coaching the last four years at Warwick, Stan Sexton is home again.

Back to his alma mater (Class of '83), back to where he spent 14 years as an assistant coach under Bill Dee.

"When I drove over here today, it felt so natural," Sexton says. "Like there were no four years in between. It's like I'm back and everything's back to normal.

"I'm just so excited to be back with these guys. They've been family to me for so long and I missed hanging out with them. There's nothing like old friends."

Announced as Phoebus' new football coach Wednesday morning — though he's not really new, is he? — Sexton has landed his dream job. To add to his dream life.

The family manCoach Sexton cuts an unmistakable presence. He's a big man with a voice that might be even bigger. When he yells, and like most coaches he does, he can be heard in neighboring counties.

As for Stan the Man? He's fairly quiet, fairly reserved and perfectly content to spend any evening (except Fridays in the fall) with his family. His wife of 16 years, Carolyn, calls him "a big teddy bear." Sexton describes himself as "pretty boring."

If you're a bar-hopping party animal, you'd probably agree. His idea of a good time is going to Disney World, where he and his family have vacationed six times. ("We've become Disneyaholics," he admits.)

He and Carolyn have three children — Ty, 14, a rising freshman at Warwick, who was named after one of Stan's best friends from college; Chloe, 12, who has zero interest in football but is a gifted singer; and Mckenna, 9, who, like her daddy, is a homebody.

The happy couple met back in 1991, when both were teaching at Davis Middle School in Hampton. Stan earned serious brownie points one night they were watching "Dances With Wolves." At the end, when Dances With Wolves leaves camp and Wind in His Hair cries out, Carolyn noticed something.

"I looked at him and I saw a tear coming down his cheek," she says. "And I thought, 'Oh, my gosh, he's crying! That's so cool!' "

They were married on Nov. 27, 1993 — interestingly enough, the day after football season ended for Phoebus with a loss in the second round of the playoffs.

Ah, football ...

Mae Sexton isn't sure exactly how many football games her son played, but she knows this: She saw just about all of them. From youth league to Phoebus High School to Fork Union to Virginia State.

"I lived on the football field with him since he was 8 years old," she says. "I'm so proud of him. I'm so proud of every aspect of his life."

The making of a coachTrue story: Phoebus was playing Lafayette one night, and Sexton came to the sideline for a breather. As he sipped some water and rested his legs, one of his teammates fumbled. Yet, much to his chagrin, no one went for the recovery.

So Sexton, still wearing his helmet, ran back on the field in the direction of the ball. Fortunately, he came to his senses and returned to the bench before the ref threw a flag.

He played for Wade Traynham at Phoebus, which went 3-7 (the program's second of five straight losing seasons) his senior year. After graduation, Sexton spent a year at Fork Union, where he earned a scholarship to Virginia State.

Sexton was the Trojans' starting center in his freshman year. He also developed a close friendship with his quarterback, Tyris Hill — after whom he would later name his son.

"We were like brothers," says Hill, now the head coach at Smithfield. "Then again, he was like a brother to everybody on the team. He was such a smart player, and he never backed down from anyone. And that won him the respect of everybody on the team."

In the sixth game of his sophomore season — on the final play of the first half, he remembers — Sexton blew out his left knee. He would play no more, but his position coach, a guy named Joe Pici, saw something in him that screamed "coach." The more Sexton thought about it, the more he realized it was a great way to stay in football.

He finished college at Christopher Newport, where he graduated in 1991. That fall, he got a teaching job at Davis Middle School. He also went to work for Dee at Phoebus, where he started out coaching the linebackers.

The Phantoms were a decent program at the time, but nowhere near what they would become. They went 5-5 in '91, 8-2 in '92, 9-3 in '93. Fast-forwarding to 2001, Phoebus finished 13-1 and won its first state Group AAA Division 5 championship. In '02, the Phantoms went 14-0 and repeated.

Sexton was working with his best friends — fellow assistants Greg Narvid, Greg Day, Dick Van Dyke, James Holbert, Ron Johnson and Scott Snyder, along with Dee. The staff always has considered itself family, partly because they get along so well, and partly because they can call each other every name in the book and then forgive and forget.

They also love to rag on each other. Narvid remembers a trip the staff took to Nashville, Tenn., a while back to visit Vanderbilt's coaches. They went to the breakfast buffet at Shoney's one morning when ...

"Stan's the first one in line, and he comes back with a plate that looks like a volcano," Narvid says. "Eggs, bacon, gravy, he's got something of everything. He could have fed a small country.

"So he sits down, and the waitress asks him what he wants to drink. And he says, 'Diet Coke.' Diet Coke! He's got 4,000 calories on his plate and he's ordering a Diet Coke."

Sexton had missed all that the last four years.

Coming homeAfter his 14th season as a Phoebus assistant, Sexton was offered the head coaching job at Warwick. Out on his own, he guided the Raiders to a 6-4 finish in 2005, their first winning season in four years. Overall, he was 23-19 in four years.

When Dee unexpectedly took an assistant coaching job at Christopher Newport, Sexton was the obvious favorite to replace him. Not only was he a "Phoebus guy," he had four years of head coaching experience. The only hitch was being able to hire a physical education instructor right after Hampton City Schools had cut 52 teaching positions.

It took three months, but it worked out. And Stan Sexton is home, much to the delight of everyone on Ireland Street.

But in taking over a program that has won four state championships in eight years, a team that went 15-0 and outscored the opposition by nearly 45 points a game last season, Sexton knows that expectations are off the chart. And honeymoons eventually end.

"There's always going to be that question — is he the right guy?" Sexton says. "But the thing is, I'm not coming in trying to compare myself with Coach Dee. That would be dumb on my part. What I am going to do is try to build on what he established.

"I understand there's a lot of pressure. But I'm excited. I'm ready to get back into it."

Stan Sexton JOB: Phoebus head football coach.AGE: 43.EDUCATION: Phoebus High (1983), Christopher Newport (1991).COACHING RESUME: 14 years as an assistant at Phoebus. ... Four years as head coach at Warwick (23-19, two playoff appearances).FAMILY: Wife, Carolyn. Children Ty (14), Chloe (12), Mckenna (9).

In numbers 23-19 Warwick's record over four seasons 98 Wins Phoebus has in past eight seasons 14 Seasons spent as Phoebus assistant 2 State titles won while at Phoebus

Online To view a photo gallery on Phoebus' new head football coach, log on to dailypress.com/sexton.