Child Custody Ex-Etiquette in Co-Parenting

As the State of Texas explains in its Co-Parenting Guide, “[t]he main reason to work at co-parenting is that it helps children deal with all the changes that happen when their parents are no longer together.”

{00025290.} Child Custody: Ex-Etiquette in Co-Parenting 980 9th Street 16th Floor Sacramento, California 95814 916.265.0961 p 916.244.7209 f www.Sacramento-Divorce-Lawyer.com By Matthew Crider, JD Family Protection Attorney The transition from an intimate partnership in which the parents share a personal relationship to the more distant co-parent relationship following a child custody case is difficult for many people to manage. Despite its prevalence—consider the many Hollywood co-parenting scenarios—there are few social norms and cues to help parents who are living apart. The difficulty is compounded because often each parent has different preferences and expectations for co-parenting. As the State of Texas explains in its Co-Parenting Guide, “[t]he main reason to work at co-parenting is that it helps children deal with all the changes that happen when their parents are no longer together.” So, with the interests of the children always in mind, advise your clients who are entering the world of co-parenting to consider the following: Act neither like business acquaintances nor like strangers— instead, did aim for a friendly but restrain style. Keep your opinions about each other’s choices, actions, and character to yourselves. Engage in positive exchanges much more frequently than complaints. Use first names and everyday language. Tone is very important; don’t take on a litigious or hostile tone. Share parental memories, pride, and gracious appreciation for the other’s efforts. A parent should not have to dread hearing from the child’s other parent. When it is necessary to voice a complaint, the parent should make it clear that his or her purpose is to solve the problem in the future, not to allocate blame. The complaining parent should explain the difficulties that arose from the other parent’s decision or conduct, suggest possible solutions, and invite the other parent’s suggestions and perspective. On everything you need to know about child custody and preparing co-parenting plans, please contact us at 916-449-9977 or visit the Family Law section on our website. Call today and we will connect you with an experienced Sacramento Divorce and Family Law Attorney. After you have spoken with one of our Sacramento Divorce and Family Law attorneys, we can schedule you a free face to face appointment to discuss your circumstances. If you have questions or are considering any aspect of filing for Divorce, a Paternity issues, Child Custody & Visitation, Spousal Support& Alimony, {00025290.} Child Custody: Ex-Etiquette in Co-Parenting 980 9th Street 16th Floor Sacramento, California 95814 916.265.0961 p 916.244.7209 f www.Sacramento-Divorce-Lawyer.com etc.wecanhelp! Call us now at 916-449-9977. We look forward to hearing from you and assisting you with any and all family law needs. About Matthew Crider, J.D. Matthew Crider formed Crider Law PC in 1999 so he could help individuals through the California divorce process by providing creative solutions as their trusted advisor and legal counselor. His divorce and family law practice focuses on assisting people in dissolution matters, including divorce, child custody and visitation, child and spousal support, spousal support and alimony, and parental rights.

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