A Lawyer For Dogs? Fights Over A $10 Painting?

Retiring Probate Judge Looks Back

AVON — Judge of probate might not top the layperson's list of bizarre professions. Nevertheless, Stephen Gaffney was looking for the outlandish when he took the Avon position in 1970.

He got it.

After all, he points out, who else but a probate judge could appoint attorneys for six dogs, settle a family feud over a color-by-number painting's rightful owner and explain to an infuriated 80-year-old woman that her college picture isn't current enough to be a valid passport photo?

``Anybody that's been in that position for this long is going to come across some unique and humorous situations,'' Town Manager Phil Schenck said.

Gaffney, 64, who retires when his seventh term concludes at year's end, knows all about humor. The man who wears Mickey Mouse ties to work and has a vanity plate that reads ``Judge G'' takes some comic memories with him. Thus, it's easy to predict what Gaffney, a Democrat, will miss most about his 28-year career. His retrospective is not focused on will, passport, name change and guardianship law. Instead it's concentrated on the tales of the absurd.

For example, the six dogs needed a lawyer because their deceased owner left in their name her $1.2 million estate. The same woman also bequeathed $50,000 to a former New York City attorney general whom she never met, but only $1 to her sister, the only heir. The quarrel over the $10 painting came from the same family that also handed down a $150,000 antique chest without incident.

The stories go on: One man, apparently wanting to cover all his bases upon death, left money to a synagogue as well as Catholic and Protestant churches; a deceased woman's sister didn't think she could afford funeral costs until she found $37,000 lying around in paper bags at the departed woman's home; upon marriage, a woman asked Gaffney to order her husband's ex- girlfriend to take his last name; and a couple of men have asked for a name change with a more feminine ring -- in anticipation of a more profound, surgically achieved lifestyle alteration.

A former Hartford Whaler's passport was stolen after a game in Winnipeg, Manitoba. To assist, Gaffney wrote to the Stamford passport agency and found it was headquartered in Pittsburgh. ``Someone needs to take a geography lesson,'' Gaffney said.

Gaffney's retirement in effect has caused two openings -- his and one for probate judge clerk. The outgoing clerk? Phyllis Gaffney, Stephen's wife. She's riding off into the sunset with her husband.

``The new judge probably wouldn't put up with her. She yells at me,'' Gaffney said.

Phyllis Gaffney kiddingly defended her practice, saying her husband needs a disciplinarian. ``I tell him, `Clean off your desk!' or `This has to be done by tomorrow!' ''

Schenck was a little easier on Gaffney. ``I've known Stephen Gaffney for over 20 years. He's been a very impartial, effective, objective judge of the highest integrity.''