Nicolas Cage is a Vampire and the Proof Can be Yours

People already know Keanu Reeves is immortal. That's just common knowledge. But did you also know that Nicolas Cage is also a member of the walking undead? Someone on eBay has proof. And as we all know, people on the Internet cannot tell lies.

Irrefutable proof of Cage's immortal status comes by way of a picture taken by a war photographer. A Civil War photographer, that is. The picture dates back to around 1870 and clearly shows Mr. Cage, and certainly not someone who just so happens to look like him, looking dapper in the styles of the day.

Now to see this photo in person with your very own eyes and call it your own will cost you a very reasonable $1,000,000.00. But don't worry, the seller does have 100% positive feedback, so you can so totally believe them when they say this is an authentic photograph of Nicolas Cage as a vampire from the year 1870. (Nevermind that the silver nitrate used to expose photographs is supposed to render real vampires invisible. Obviously that part of the lore is wrong, because there's no way this isn't Nicolas Cage.)

In other hilarious Nicolas Cage news, when doing press for the film Trespass, he recently told Reuters this amazing, wouldn't-believe-it-if-it-were-anyone-else home invasion story:

"It was two in the morning. I was living in Orange County at the time and was asleep with my wife. My two-year old at the time was in another room. I opened my eyes and there was a naked man wearing my leather jacket eating a Fudgesicle in front of my bed," he told reporters on Wednesday.

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