Modest Greenhouse Gas Downplays Role In Climate Change

Today, the large quantity of methane in the Earth’s atmosphere expressed modesty, downplaying its own contribution to global climate change. The gaseous alkane said it gets “embarrassed” when scientists conduct studies on its atmosphere- warming properties.

“Obviously carbon dioxide is the star, and it deserves to be,” methane said. “It contributes so much more to climate change than little old me.” Methane also called attention to the “under appreciated” nitrous oxide, whom it said “doesn’t get nearly enough recognition.” “And,” continued methane, “no one ever thinks about water vapor.”

In response, carbon dioxide said, “Oh, methane has always been sort of insecure. It’s definitely caused a lot more rising in temperature than it gives itself credit for.” Carbon dioxide also said, “Methane is a bit of a bulkier molecule, but it shouldn’t be ashamed of that.”

Despite the fact that climate scientists claim methane is a “more potent” greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide, methane insisted that scientists are “humoring” it. “There’s no way that could be true,” said methane. “I don’t even think I could warm up the moon, and that’s way smaller than the Earth.”

As the years continue to break previous monthly temperature records, methane, who denies being a significant contributor to climate change, said, “The polar ice caps shrinking, that was pretty much all carbon dioxide, and the chlorofluorocarbons helped too.”

“I can’t do anything right,” methane added, before retreating to the stratosphere to sulk.