The story of the messed up, insanely busy life of a single mother who lost herself somewhere along the way. Follow along with my quest to find me, learn to say "no", keep my sanity, and make life better and more enjoyable for not only myself, but my children and those around me.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The Final Countdown

Ok, so if you're like me you are now humming "Final Countdown" (Circa 1986) by Europe.

I have 19 days of work left. Granted that is spread out over the next 5 1/2 weeks but still, that's not much time left. I thought this would be the end of my days of working within the educational system but a position has opened in what will be the kids' new school next year. Sooooo... I am going to suck it up and apply for it. I know this isn't what I want to do but it will make a lot of life easier next year. Plus, I'd have to be hired first. Wouldn't want to get the cart before the horse.

I have so much that needs to get done and just am seriously lacking in motivation to do anything. These last couple of years have taken a greater toll on me than I've admitted to. I honestly thought that once the weather got warmer and the sun was shining again I would bounce back to my "normal" self. That's not happening. I still just want to spend my time hiding in a book or in bed with the covers over my head. I'm not allowing myself to do either but I'm most definitely not getting anything accomplished either. At least during the winter I had a reason for a cluttered house. Now I don't.

I have taken antidepressants in the past and wonder if I should be again. I hate taking medicine. Even though I seem to have little trouble eating lots of junk, I have a mental block about putting medications into my system. I do wonder how much of my energy is being drained by my work environment, because I am far more "down" on days that I work than on days that I don't.

Yes, this post is something of a downer. I apologize. That seems to be my default setting as of late.

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About Me

I'm an insanely busy mother to three with 3 children in sports, one dog, one job,going back to college in January and a phobia that people will not like me that I'm doing my best to overcome. I'm working on being like Rhett Butler and taking "frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" as my mantra.
I'm looking to take back control over my life, meet new people, and raise my children to be unafraid, independent thinkers.
2008 is my year to be brave and take back my life. Change for the better is the key phrase of the year. Follow the changes on my blog, which is one of the steps I've taken to be brave and not let fear control me.