January 2014

It’s Chinese New Year and the year of the horse is here. Oooh, happy feelings all stirruped, cos’ it’s my favouritest animal in the whole wide world, and we all can’t wait to gallop into the new year to feast and fellowship with family and friends!

Have a blessed time, everyone! Giddy up, keep a stable diet and let’s grab life by the reins this year!

P/S: I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who left me messages and sent hugs and encouraging words my way after I shared how challenging it has been these days to stay home with the Kao kids. I believe ever more now in angels, because of people like you.

January has been a month of nonsense, noise and a whole bull-load of no-no-nos.

Almost every day, I live to fight a thousand and one fires. No kidding. I’m sure if I counted them, they would add up to a thousand and one more than a thousand and one.

That plus having to deal with so much nonsense from every single kid in the house that comes with the fighting, bickering, squabbling, crying; on top of my yellling, hollering and hyperventilating, in addition to the youngest in his Terrible Two stage saying ‘no’ to every-friggin’-possible-thing to say no to, making a mess of any-friggin’-possible-thing to make a mess of (just lately: our Waldo books and graded readers have been torn, the Immunped on the kitchen top has been shattered to pieces with one swift throw, the toilet paper in the bathrooms have been shredded and stuffed in the toilet bowls, just to mention a few) and the middle child regressing to join the youngest in his Terrible Two phase, thinking it must be the cleverest way to also get some attention.

Almost every day, walls and body parts get colour-markered, paper of all sorts from receipts to tissues and kitchen towels get shredded, and everything from books to toy cars to pillows and spoons litter the house. The middle child recently taught the youngest how to cut up rubber bands to make ‘pasta’ and the littlest has discovered the flush of the toilet bowl. The oldest is facing quite a bit of pressure from me to do more learning than playing and there have been far too many days of meltdowns and tantrums that also happen on his end (and I thought we were over that stage). The youngest is dishing out mischief every waking minute it’s becoming unbearable: think taking out poop filled diapers and running round the house butt naked, rummaging my wardrobe to wear ten panties and a bra over his head and smearing the dining table with the ketchup you give him to dip his sotong balls in and then his own face and his hands and legs, and then you. The three are also fighting so much they would mortally wound each other, literally with swords, clubs and Nerf guns. They absolutely love to bicker and pull the na-na-nee-boo-boo stunt on one another it would often result in a shouting match and lots of tears. During bath times (and because I bathe them together) they would spit water at one another, fight for the shower head only to drench me silly and eat soap.

Every day at meal times, the middle kid has regressed to a point of neediness that she demands to be fed or else. And the or else comes in the form of hell I get at 2am, 4am and 6am when she wakes up, screams her way for milk in a bottle and I go FML at her throughout the night. The youngest is giving me so many problems at meal times not wanting to sit still to eat and behaving like the brattiest person of his age on Planet Earth and goes “Mama milk…Mama milk!” with every single toss and turn while he sleeps. I am still nursing this 23 month old big baby with such an absolute sense of helplessness every night so that he shuts up and stops waking the family. I feel so sorry for my overworked boobs. The only saving grace is my eldest who’s taken on the role of the moral policeman, policing his brother and sister when they misbehave and going to the store room to take Mr Cane out (for me) so I can mete out punishment. His enthusiasm to end the craziness at meal times is commendable, which also means only one out of three does well during breakfast, lunch and dinner.

It’s an understatement to say that I am exhausted.

I am beyond exhausted. Why is it so exhausting to stay home with these kids?

When I was teaching in a school, I felt bad leaving my kids in childcare and have them taught and “raised” by their childcare minders while I teach and “raise” the kids at school like my own. Now that I am home with them, I’m often left to fend off the thought of wanting to go back to the old routine. At least I am getting paid and won’t be living in fear everyday of losing my sanity.

These days, I yell so much I think I’m going mad.

On days like these, I also snap at my husband and blame him for the fact that we did three kids in four years. What the hell were we thinking? What was I thinking? How is it that my life is so crazy? Why did he even think I can survive staying home? This is so batshitstressful it’s all his fault. Poor guy, I know he has your sympathy already. This man has to work so hard in the day and comes home to a wife with flailing arms and incessant complaining about how tough her job is.

How do people with more than three kids do it? I’m about to just worship the ground you walk if you have three kids back to back and more. Or if you have triplets or quadruplets or two pairs or more pairs of twins. Sometimes I wish Ben, Becks and Nat were triplets and perhaps life might be easier than this. At least they are of the same age and would go through their developmental milestones at the same time and this birth order thing wouldn’t be such a big thing in influencing their temperaments.

I’m not going to end this post with a revelation that I should Carpe Diem! and that I have realised that despite all the challenges, these are small things if I look at the big picture and come to a realisation that some day they wouldn’t need me / they would grow up / they would remember their childhood / they would appreciate that their mother stayed home. I have none of these epiphanies yet. Yes, yes, I know I must count my blessings and that I do have three beautiful lovely children – but I ain’t gonna end this post with a conclusion that I’ve had it all made when actually I’m:

a) really crumbling

b) finding myself a wreck on most days

c) completely exhausted by this mothering gig at this stage of my children’s life

My husband and I love to watch Top Chef and MasterChef together. We get our inspiration to bake and cook from these reality shows. Besides being grippingly entertaining, they are really educational for noob cooks like us, and I always fantasised being able to serve up gourmet looking food all prettily plated and all some day.

Recently, OBE Organic sent us some Australian ribeye steaks, minced beef and beef cubes. Ooooh, how we love our beef! It didn’t take long before Fatherkao jumped into action, got into the kitchen and worked like a chef, taking inspiration from all the reality TV we’ve been watching.

And then single-handedly, he transformed this…

To this…

In a matter of minutes! Looks like somebody’s gonna beat me in fulfilling that crazy dream of mine sooner than I think!

The ribeye steak seared perfectly by him and drizzled with the sauce he made was heavenly. Every bite melted in my mouth and the huge cut that Huber’s Butchery sent us for each portion was so huge it was truly satisfying. I am so not looking at my husband the same way again – man, this man can make a mean plate of steak, and with so much luuurrvve.

Talk about the way through a man’s heart. This woman’s heart has been won over and over with every time he steps into the kitchen. *swoon*

I tried convincing him to share his recipe on my blog, and although he’s pretty hazy on the details and not giving me precise, exact measurements, I managed to make out what went into his red wine sauce.

Here it is; and oh yes, remember to get OBE Organic Beef which is certified 100% organic and natural, free of chemicals and growth promotants, and delivers amazingly great flavour.

2) Add 4 glasses of red wine. Let the pan’s contents bubble until the wine has reduced by three-quarters.

3) Now add a ladle or two of chicken stock, butter and reduce the rest of the wine, 1-2 glasses at a time. Regularly skim away any impurities by weaving a small ladle in and out of the top of the sauce. Taste regularly and check for seasoning.

4) Heat a grill pan to sear the steaks with oil and cook them, turning once, 4-5 mins for rare, 7-8 mins for medium, 8-10 mins for well done.

5) Serve the steaks on a bed of greens and pour the red wine sauce around. Remember to pass the sauce through a sieve to remove fine impurities.

Also linking up with:

The kids have been attending Math enrichment classes at Eye Level Learning Center at City Square Mall for more than a month now and they are always looking forward to their lessons. It’s like a routine they anticipate weekly, with us either driving or taking the NEL down to Farrer Park followed by an engaging lesson with their respective teachers, complete with getting their fruit reward stickers and some play time with blocks and counters at the centre’s play corner after class, and then have the day end with a treat of Hongkong Egglet from our favourite stall at Basement 2.

Becks attends Eye Level’s Play Math Programme where she gets to experience mathematical concepts in a fun and engaging way. Play Math is a programme specially tailored for ages 2.5 to 4 years old and is aimed at laying the foundation for developing a preschooler’s understanding in Math. The child learns how to sort, match, classify, count and recognise patterns at Play Math.

And the best part of this progamme? It’s a one-to-one lesson (about 30 -45 minutes) with the teacher, and done through story-telling and lots of sticker fun!

At every lesson, Becks receives an activity booklet which is filled with colourful illustrations that follow a story. Each activity booklet is designed to help her advance in her understanding of mathematical concepts like correspondence, sorting and classifying, comparing and counting according to levels, and the level for her to begin with was first determined using their diagnostic assessment which she sat for in December.

Becks getting ready for class and having her lesson with her teacher. Every lesson involves counting, tracing, cutting, glueing and lots of stickers!

Fun times (clockwise): Becks playing after class while waiting for Ben and peeling off stickers for her reward chart

The girl started at Level 33 and has now progressed to Level 38.

Here’s a glimpse of what’s in the activity booklet that she gets to do with her teacher at Eye Level Learning Center. I had the opportunity to take her through one activity booklet at home recently (she was given homework for one of the public holidays as the centre was closed) and we had a fun time together with it.

In this activity booklet, Becks learned the numbers 1 to 3 through a circus story about unicycles, bicycles and tricycles:

Very captivating illustrations to engage a preschooler, I say

The activities that follow include getting her to group items, count, and put the corresponding number of stickers for the things she’s counted:

Becks favourite part has got to be peeling stickers off and putting them in the book

She also got to practise drawing lines and strokes which would help her develop good hand-eye coordination and better control when she starts writing her numbers:

This ‘follow the circle to the the square’ kind of activity appears several times in one booklet – this is to teach the child to read and write from left to right, help in hand-eye coordination and strengthen the finger muscles so she gets better control when writing her numbers

We had a good time doing this together. I sat next to her and read her the instructions and she proceeded to do every task rather happily, although she did say her teacher was more animated when reading the story than I was. I can tell she really enjoys doing every booklet – from the one time we did it together at home, and from my interaction with her after every class. She gets to bring home the activity booklet after every lesson and would sometimes come home to erase some of the things she’s done so she could do them again at home. That’s how much she likes it!

I would say that Eye Level has scored some wins with their Play Math Programme, which I find engaging and value for money (at SGD$140 per month). Firstly, the lesson is conducted in a one-to-one setting and an experienced teacher is assigned to the child to take her through the booklet in a fun way. Secondly, the booklet itself is designed to keep the child engaged for at least 45 minutes with its colourful illustrations, stories and activities. Thirdly, the child gets to bring the materials home so she can revisit what she’s learned from the week’s lesson, thereby solidifying the learning and keeping the interest alive, at least till the next week where she gets to read another story, meet new characters and work on different activities.

Who would have thought we could learn Math this way? I’d thought my counting lessons were quite fun, but I have to admit that Becks is having a fun-ner time at Eye Level, and I’m really glad that she was invited to attend lessons there for a term (hurray for the opportunity to outsource!).

Eye Level is extending a promotional offer to all Motherkao readers! For $10 (usual price $60), your child can take the diagnostic test, attend a trial lesson (30-45 min) and get a complimentary study skill analysis.

Disclosure: Ben and Becks have been invited to attend Eye Level’s Math and Play Math for a term of three months. Motherkao has accepted sponsorship for her reviews of their programmes and endorsement of the centre. All opinions here are Motherkao’s own (with input from Becks).

My little daughter is now three half and she is the queen of randomness. She’s a pretty jumbled-up person in thought, speech and action it’s kinda both amusing and maddening to be around her. She hasn’t lost a single shred of that bossiness she’s been born with, so you can imagine what living with this powerpuff is like, here at home everyday.

Chinese New Year was always a bittersweet time for me as a child. I remember the excitement going around visiting and being able to gorge on goodies which I would otherwise not have access to at other times of the year, but I also remember that come this time every year, my parents would scrimp and save and even buy nothing for themselves just so my siblings and I could all have new pjs, shoes and outfits. Even then we headed to JB to buy them because things there were much cheaper.

I know the Kao kids would probably never experience CNY this way, and it’s my job as their mother to remind them constantly of how very blessed they are. These days, their grandparents buy them new clothes all the time. Our friends send us vouchers to get them new outfits for their birthdays. And for this CNY, Fox Fashion invited the Kao kids over for a private shopping spree and got them to pick any two outfits of their choice for the first two days of Chinese New Year.

Talk about being extremely fortunate.

So to City Square Mall we went (oh, how we love this mall!) last Saturday. Needless to say, the kids were extremely thrilled. Becks is finally dumping her tomboy image (I really don’t know how that happened) and finally taking a liking to dresses and skirts (I really don’t know how THAT happened!), and so I think she was the most excited when we were there. The latest Fox Kids Spring / Summer 2014 Collection featured many chiffony-flowy dresses that had all her favourite colours – pink, purple, green – the little girl had a really hard time picking.

Ah, she’s woman already at such a young age – she was so indecisive that morning!

Shopping!

For Ben and Nat, they basically left their decision on what to wear to their stylist (ha, me!) who made suggestions as to what went well with what, and there were quicker decisions made when it came to them. Oh, how I love my boys for letting me coordinate their fashion. No debate, no fickle minds, no fuss.

And here they are: the kids in their CNY outfits, sponsored by Fox Kids and Baby! We can’t wait to be spending our 2nd Chinese New Year together as a family of five, and go visiting in these pretty clothes!

Thank you, Fox Fashion for the kind invitation, and Canon Singapore for the photographs! We have been very blessed indeed!

If you’d like to win a Fox CNY outfit for your kids and a Canon Selphy CP900 Compact Photo Printer, vote for any photo you like in this album (containing pictures of pretty children in pretty clothes by Fox at the private shopping spree). You stand an additional chance of winning if you leave a comment on the pictures you like. Voting ends 23 January 2014. Check out Fox Fashion’s FB Page for more details and their website for their latest Spring / Summer Collection.

Disclosure: Ben, Becks and Nat were invited by Fox Fashion to pick 2 outfits of their choice at a private shopping spree. No monetary compensation was received for this post and all opinions here are my own.

It’s only the second week of January and I’m already suffocating. Every day has been crazy, crazy, crazy with two preschoolers and a toddler needing attention, wanting to learn and all pumped up from 7 to 9 wanting to play / mess up the house / clown around. That plus I’m no longer just stay-at-home-home-teaching-mom. I’m also now work-at-home-mom, getting-ready-to-start-a-business-mom and adjunct-lecturer-mom. This year, we’re prepping to finally start something we’ve wanted to do for the longest time (and that is draining a lot from me mentally) and I’m also going to doing a short stint lecturing at a post-grad institution.

This is supposed to be exciting, but I’m kinda bummed that blogger-mom (or is it mom-blogger) has to be ranked at the bottom of my long list of duties and responsibilities. And since the blog is ultimately about the kids and for the kids, it just doesn’t make sense to be drafting blog posts while they languish like attention-deprived kids needing the mom presence.

As it is, it’s been pretty challenging to try to home teach them fruitfully, chauffeur them around to kindy, enrichment (we are only at Berries and kindly sponsored by Eye Level), and all the what-nots like parties, events and gatherings, PLUS prepare work for the business and for the adjunct teaching stint (readings, grading, lesson prep – I’m with adult learners this time!). That in addition to doing grocery runs and playgroup runs thrice a week, trying to plan for special time with each individual kid, and spending time to do things with the littlest one who is growing up really fast (and not leaving him with the helper all the time). I do have so much to share about the activities we do homelearning together and the things that have worked for us (I’ve not forgotten my Teaching the Kao Kids Series!) but most days I just want to immerse myself in learning together with them and not think about photos and posts to publish while I’m with the kids.

Having said that, I know that 2014 is going to be another excitingly fun year for all of us, and there is much to be thrilled about. I will share as much as I can and rant as much I need whenever I need a sanity break, I promise.

Here’s to an awesomely glorious 2014 where moms like you and me develop MORE super powers!

When I was working full-time, a good facial, some pretty work clothes and a new hairdo were mandatory items on my to-do list before I started a new year at work. As a stay home mum, these things are luxury.

Just so you know, I haven’t had a haircut in a year.

No money anyway, no time anyway, nobody’s gonna be looking anyway. It’s sad, but I tell you it’s really easy for a mom consumed by motherhood to think this way all the time.

Turns out God was more interested in the way I looked than I was about myself. Before the year ended, I was invited by Salon Vim by Chez Vousto review their services and try out anything I wanted.

Say what? Try anything I want? All I need is a haircut! Somebody trim those split ends please!

So I excused myself from mom duties last evening, headed down to 313@Somerset, plonked myself on the Salon Vim chair and told them that it’s been a year. A good long year. The good folks at the salon fussed over me, made sure I was comfortable and listened attentively to my complaining and requests: I need hair easy to maintain – I hate my flat hair – I only have 10 minutes to shower on most days – Please don’t cut it too short I don’t want to shock the kids – blah blah blah…

And then the stylists decided. They would give me a hair makeover which would still be easy to maintain and rid the flatness in my hair. I wouldn’t need more than 10 minutes in the shower and I would return home to wow the kids, not shock them, they promised.

Before the hair makeover

So I got a hair cut, a L’oreal X-tenso soft perm and the latest hair colour trend known as Sombré, a technique that allows for a softer, more natural diffusion of colours fading gradually from top to bottom (I had my base in warm brown and the highlights in very light iridescent golden brown.) All these while sipping a nice warm drink, chitchatting with friendly people that came to work on my hair and flipping pages of the latest fashion mags, something which I haven’t done for a long time.

And this was what they did…

Check out the new hairdo!

Talk about pampering your tresses. Last night was my night!

I’m very impressed by the professionalism displayed by the folks at Salon Vim by Chez Vous and their energy, drive and excellent service. The senior stylist that attended to me was meticulous, attentive and extremely knowledgeable. He would explain to me what he was doing, how I could take better care of my hair and accommodate my every request. It was past 9 pm when the colouring was done and it was time for everyone to go home but he – Ymond, that’s his name if you need a referral – wanted to take the pampering further still, and asked if I would like to stay for a 40-minute hair treatment!

A picture with Ymond Chin, the senior stylist behind my new look

I couldn’t wait to get home to the kids and so that hair treatment would have to wait for another time. Till then, I had myself a wonderful evening styled and pampered by the most professional of people, so thank you Salon Vim by Chez Vous for the new look and for making over this mother who would otherwise continue to look frumpy in 2014!

And just for Motherkao readers! Here’s a discount code for you:

If you’re looking to un-frumpify yourself (did I just coin a new word again? hurhur) with a hair cut / new look / some Sombré highlights or simply want some me-time to be pampered, Salon Vim by Chez Vous is taking 10% off your bill for any hair services with them when you quote <Motherkao blog>. Limited to first time Salon Vim customers only.

Salon Vim by Chez Vousis at 313@Somerset and you can call +65 6884 7757 | +65 6884 776 for any appointment. Connect with Salon Vim on their Facebook Page to see their latest creations and styles and get inspired. Hey, just in time for the Lunar New Year too!

Disclosure: I was invited to Salon Vim to try out their services for the purposes of this review. No monetary compensation was received for this post and opinions here are my own, but I sure was spoiled silly for four hours with all that stuff that was done to make over my tresses. That, plus I also got to take home some L’oreal products to care for my hair and a brand new look!

Nat! You’re not so baby any more, are you! Where did all the time go? I now hold in my arms the same sticky, happy baby, but I can’t cradle you like I used to. I can’t coo to you like I used to. I can’t ask you to stay in my arms forever like I used to. Nope, not any more.

You’ve got a mind of your own and feet that can fly. You’ve got tantrums that are too cute to cane (I have to step up the discipline soon, son!) and garbled babbling too funny to hear. I’ve officially experienced the Terrible Twos again for the third time with you, although yours is so much more manageable compared to your sister’s, because all you really need – for every tantrum – is to be carried and soothed by me. “Mama…mama… mama…” you call. That word’s an emergency bell, a cry for comfort and a loving term of endearment for your favourite person. I hope this word remains these to you for as long as you live to remember me by.

You’re one cheeky boy in the house. You’ve done everything I’ve never imagined that could be done. You’ve stuck your hand in the box of Persil washing powder when no one was looking, leaned your head close to the moving fan so that your hair gets wind, and peered in the toilet bowl when you see your brother peeing (and played with his urine subsequently like you do at water play). You watch your siblings gargle and spit, and you never hesitate to show them you can do the same, and more – with the bath water that comes from the shower, the juice you drink and the bubble soap you play with. You throw things around like a shot put athlete just to see how things fly and end up wrecking folded clothes, spilling drinks and ruining dinners. You stuff things in every possible corner of the house and till this day we’re finding used tissues, Lego blocks and craft pom poms behind doors and furniture. You take your poop-filled diaper out to have a sensory experience of what you’ve passed, to your own amusement but to our horror and disgust; and you laugh like the experience was the funniest thing you’ve ever had in your whole life!

Yes, I’ve just told the whole world what a mischief you are, and that you’ve played with both poop and pee, Nat.

You are one smart little fella who mimic your sibling well, and as a result, you can sit on your own to fix jigsaws, “read” a book and construct Lego blocks because you’ve watched them do so. You can sing songs just by copying their tune and you’re the parrot that’s always flying around, repeating after what your siblings are doing. You join them in their pretend play and you’re the most cooperative patient / student / child / animal / slave I’ve ever seen. Oh the things you would do to play with them, you cute little thing!

It sure is fun being the youngest eh!

And it sure is fun to be watching you grow, hearing you talk and looking at you do stuff, although most of the time I’m also hyperventilating. I pray that you’ll always stay safe despite your mischief and that you will continue to bring laughter to the people around you, my love.