Category Archives: Self-Forgiveness

Over the years, I always had the tendency to say that God is good, but there was something within myself that wouldn't allow it to be voiced in self-honesty, because when I took a look at the world, there was no consistency in the 'goodness' of God manifested throughout and within the world equally in everyone's lives, but I wholeheartedly wanted to believe in the 'goodness' of God. I wanted to put my 'trust' in the Lord, but when I developed my awareness in relation to who I am and what I have allowed within my life and the consequences thereof, I realize that it was never about God, but it was about me and my responsibility to myself and my responsibility in the world to become a living example in all areas of my life to myself and thus, to others.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that to be a 'living example' is to see, realize, and understand, and practically move into providing solutions that are sustainable and trustworthy for not only myself, but to everyone -- where this 'trustworthiness' comes from my own self-trust in being able to move and express myself within the principle of what is best for all life.

I commit myself to ensure that that whom or which I place trust into is a trust not coming from an 'emotional' bond or an 'emotional connection', but to ensure that the trust is practical, effective, and best for the particular event / situation / circumstance.

I commit myself to develop and awareness of who I am in relation to myself, to others, and to the world as a whole because I see, realize, and understand that that whom I place trust into -- that I have to have an awareness of myself in relation to why I am entrusting another individual with a particular task, what the motivation of that 'trust' is, how that trust will effect the integrity of the situation, what are the possible play-outs; is there any movement of emotional and feeling behavior within myself because I realize that if I cannot stabilize myself when it comes to emotional and feeling behavior, but rather, allow that emotional and feeling behavior to 'control' and 'direct' me, I realize that my decision to trust another cannot stand as a stable decision until I stabilize myself in relation to that which created the emotional and feeling behavior in the first place.

Redefining Trust: I commit myself to establish that self-trust within myself which is a trust where, instead of relying on emotional and feeling behavior to change me, I commit myself to with every moment establish self-change where, instead of participating in emotional and feeling behavior, I commit myself to stop, breathe, and investigate that particular emotional reaction, forgive, and let it go because I realize that when and as an emotion or a feeling comes up spontaneously within myself, that it isn't me directing myself, but me, as my mind, that made a decision to go into such an emotion or a feeling based on a memory that I am not aware of and have not directed within my world and reality, and so therefore, am reliving the past instead of being here, present, and stable within physical reality. And so I realize that when and as I participate in emotional and feeling behavior that I will create relationships in my world and reality where I start trusting others within the basis of emotions and feelings because I am simply mirroring my own self, and mirroring how I have trusted in emotions and feelings to give me the illusion of 'wholeness', the illusion of having an 'identity', the illusion of having a 'voice', the illusion of having 'self-worth' because of how it 'feels' when I participate in them. I realize that self-trust is being able to, instead of allowing something 'spontaneous' like emotions and feelings activate within myself with no precise, clearly self-communicated, and readily observable decision being made before-hand -- that that self-trust is bringing myself back into physical reality and directing that which I did not make an initial, precise, and clearly self-communicated decision on my behalf -- to exist within myself, and so giving that 'confidence' back to myself -- that freedom from self-doubt which is that 'uncertainty' that I am existing as when I participate in emotional and feeling behavior.

Here in this blog, I realize how I formed and created an emotional connection to Indian females because of a memory that I had and believed it was true when I was in my months to about three years old where I sincerely believed that I had a family in a past life that resembled the… Continue Reading

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ‘emotionally dependent’ on others instead of realizing that this ‘emotional dependency’ to others is me running away from facing myself as an individual within my world and reality and taking self-responsibility to stabilize myself in relation to the points that I face in… Continue Reading

Here in this blog, I am sharing my experience with tics. I have not been diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome, but I have all of the symptoms of Tourette’s which are both motor and vocal tics. Here in this blog, I’d like to discuss how I have experienced myself as being intellectually inferior when it comes… Continue Reading

In the previous blog, I wrote about how I accept and allow myself to go into an ‘inferiority’ point when and as I am interacting with females depending on the environment and depending on the female’s physical appearance. Here in this blog, I’d like to write some self-forgiveness statements on how I accept and allow myself to… Continue Reading

Here in this blog, I’d like to write about how I accept and allow myself to go into an ‘inferiority’ point when and as I am interacting with females depending on the environment and depending on the female’s physical appearance. I see, realize, and understand that this ‘inferiority’ point comes from the word ‘competition’ –… Continue Reading

I see, realize, and understand how I can connect people within / as my life to other people contingent upon their resemblance to each other. Here in this blog, I would like to write some self-forgiveness statements for a person that I saw on the internet to an individual in a previous time within my… Continue Reading

In the previous blog, I continued with more detail on my self-image where I picture myself within my mind differently depending on the particular individual that I am communicating with or in the vicinity of in that moment. Within this particular experience at a Fed Ex store, I pictured myself within my mind as a… Continue Reading

Here in this blog, I am writing self-forgiveness statements regarding my reluctance to doing my assignment as a point of assisting and supporting myself to identify the memories and the energy-experiences (emotions and feelings) that reinforce the point of ‘reluctance’ within myself to / towards my DIP assignment. I forgive myself that I have accepted… Continue Reading

Here in this blog, I am continuing with more detail on my self-image where I pictured myself within my mind as a semi-stocky black male with a small afro, and how I channeled my ‘behavior’ within how I projected my imagination of myself (as a semi-stocky black male with a small afro) to an African-American… Continue Reading

In the previous blog, I wrote about how I had a dream, and how I, within that dream had a ‘rat-tail’ which is a type of hairstyle characterized by a long tail-like element of hair growing downward from the back of the head. I remember liking this particular hair style because I wanted to ‘look different’,… Continue Reading

Here I am continuing with how I duplicated / copied T’Pol’s ‘expression’ as a ‘stoic’ person within my mind so I do not have to face what I have allowed myself to ‘experience’ — as a ‘negative experiences’ (emotions) when and as encountering the particular individual within Fed Ex. Here, I am expanding more on… Continue Reading

On January 22nd 2014, I went into Fed-Ex, and there was a particular individual that I saw within Fed-Ex that I created an energy-experience to. Within this energy-experience I simultaneously changed my self-image where I imagined myself as this large semi-stocky black male with a small afro. I see, realize, and understand that this self-image… Continue Reading

Here is this blog, I am investigating how I defined the word ‘masculinity’ within my mind based on ‘memories’ that I ‘valued’ within my life that I used to create and construct the definition of ‘masculinity’.I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word ‘weakness’ to the word ‘masculinity’ through… Continue Reading

I was at a restaurant for lunch on 1/18/2014, and after I finished eating, I went to the cash register, and I told the clerk that was at the cash register that he looks like the co-owner of the particular restaurant. What I was trying to do was find out if he was actually the co-owner or… Continue Reading

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear investigating points that arise within situations that can be given attention to in self-honesty, and so within this, fear being ‘frank’ and ‘direct’ to people within my world / reality. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to,… Continue Reading

Here in this blog, I am writing about my experience with watching a sitcom called Fringe: Season 1, Episode 9 about a man that worked for a company called ‘Massive Dynamic’ that was so convinced that he was being attacked by butterflies — that he jumps out of a window to escape them. I realize… Continue Reading

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me within and as ‘age’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to superimpose memories onto physical reality, and to interact with physical reality through memories without actually being ‘here’ directing myself within the physical. Within this, I forgive myself… Continue Reading

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of / as the ‘fear of survival’ as ‘sickness’, as the ‘kidney’s, as the right lower flank area, as the physical body, as the cells, as cancer, as ‘itching’, as fluid-buildup, as chemicals, as blood poisoning, as medicine. Within this,… Continue Reading

I realize how I created a habit to looking at posts on Facebook. Here in this blog, I’d like to investigate these particular patterns that create the habit of looking at posts on Facebook. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of / as the ‘fear… Continue Reading

Here in this blog, I am continuing with a self-forgiveness process for different memories that I used to create an imagination within myself that has been ‘charged’ with ‘energy’ (emotions an feelings), and how that imagination has become so ‘intense’ that it becomes difficult to stop. I realize how if I do not take… Continue Reading

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create imaginations within my mind, and create an ‘experience’ to those imaginations. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there are people, places, and / or things that are ‘better than’ or ‘more special’ compared to other people,… Continue Reading

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts of people that I interacted with in the ‘past’ within positive or negative energy-experiences (emotions or feelings), and ‘follow’ those thoughts, and allow those thoughts to manipulate my decision-making abilities. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to… Continue Reading

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of / as the ‘fear of survival’ as ‘gifts’, as ‘family’, as ‘energy’. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not giving my family Christmas gifts through the belief that Christmas gifts ‘contaminate’… Continue Reading

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a positive energy-experience to the pictured-presentation of females that resemble my mother’s physical body anatomy. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mother’s pictured-presentation to activate memories within myself. I forgive myself that I… Continue Reading

This entry is part 1 of 1 in the series The World WriteToday, I had a resistance to the word ‘write’ because in my mind, I was thinking that I do not know what to write about in relation to the word ‘write’, but I realize that it isn’t about what I know about the… Continue Reading

This entry is part 1 of 3 in the series Sex and ComfortabilityOn the day of September 14th 2013, there was an experience of anger that arose from within myself through random thoughts that came in my mind in relation to sex. So within this blog, I’d like to write some self-forgiveness statements pertaining to… Continue Reading

This is a continuation of the previous blog: Sex and Desire Part 2: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse that I have to keep on — constantly and continuously desiring others because it feels good, instead of realizing that within this particular ‘excuse’, is the point of… Continue Reading

This is a continuation of the previous blog: Sex and Desire Part 1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, instead, define the word ‘principle’ as ‘expressing my emotions’ — of which the ‘reward’ that I get for ‘expressing my emotions’ is a ‘good feeling’ that I believe is ‘who I… Continue Reading

I realize that over the course of my life, how I have accepted and allowed myself to limit sex to desire. I realize that when and as I am participating in a particular ‘desire’, in general, that there is a particular ‘experience’ that comes over me, and it is this ‘experience’ that I become possessed … Continue Reading

Here, I am having a look at the word ‘war’, and how I created my ‘awareness’ as the word ‘war’ within myself which, in turn, creates how the world / system is ‘structured’ to accept ‘war’ as a justifiable entity – without understanding how we create it within ourselves. When and as ‘war’ is accepted… Continue Reading

Since I was in my teen years, there was a desire to read fast. I see my speed in reading as pretty slow which would be a physical fact. But it is this physical fact that I created a relationship to — meaning that judged my point of reading as me being ‘less than’ /… Continue Reading

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series My Relationship to the Color Pink I want to talk about shyness, and the experience that I had that initiated the shyness. Basically, the experience is the energy-experience — meaning the particular emotion or feeling that I felt within myself that defined the experience into… Continue Reading

Here in this blog I will be doing self-forgiveness for accepting and allowing myself to exist as this “I” instead of existing within and “as” what is ‘best for all’ within this world and reality. Because what is in-fact best for all is in-fact best for myself is in-fact most optimal for my physical body… Continue Reading

Here, we are continuing with Just Let Them ‘Be’ in this blog. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear (as ’energy’ — as ‘reactions’) seeing a person react negatively if / when and as I say something that can trigger particular-specific points within them that I might not ‘expect’, and within this, I… Continue Reading

Here in this blog, I am writing about my experience with other people in my world / reality, and how I just let other people express their opinions / mind even when I know that what they are saying can be expanded upon in such a way that it includes a solution — rather than… Continue Reading

Here I am writing a blog about why / how I believe that individuals who react more than others are more ‘in-control’ of who they are, and more mentally and physically organized — from the perspective that they are more effective in their world / reality. I see, realize, and understand that I connected the physical form, movement,… Continue Reading

Here I am writing a blog about my experience when and as buying an airplane ticket for Sunday, April 28th 2013. When and as buying the airplane ticket, I bought a multi-destination ticket which consists of three flights. On the third flight I made a mistake on which airport to depart from going to the… Continue Reading

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that by creating a positive-energy experience to / towards the L.G.B.T. community — that this is a pattern that I created within myself — as a ‘design’ that I use to validate who I have become within this world… Continue Reading

Now that I have done self-forgiveness, and understand my position within / as the word ‘tough’ and within / as the word ‘cool’, I can redefine what it means to be ‘tough’ as being ‘tough’ can be redefined as not giving in to the thoughts, the imaginations, the back-chats, and reactions of emotions and feelings… Continue Reading

So in the previous blog, I talked about the word ‘cool’, and how, in order to understand how I defined the word ‘troublemaker’, it is for me to understand how I defined the word ‘cool’ and the word ‘tough’ because of how I connected the word ‘troublemaker’ to the word ‘cool’ and the word ‘tough’.… Continue Reading

So here in this blog, I am now writing self-forgiveness for the word ‘troublemaker’, and how / why I connected it to the word ‘gay-basher’. First, I will write / speak self-forgiveness for how I defined the words ‘cool’ and the words ‘tough’ – starting with the word ‘cool’. I see, realize, and understand that… Continue Reading

Here I am continuing with how I have discriminated against my own race starting with how I defined the word ‘troublemaker’, and lived it — as a reaction in my world / reality. So the word ‘troublemaker’, I connected to the word ‘gay-basher’, and so when and as I would see other boys trying to be ‘cool’ or… Continue Reading

Here in this blog, I am writing about how I, at several times in my life, discriminated against my own race. Now this is due to various memories that I had in relation to how / why I would discriminate against my own race. Some of these memories are: 1) In between grades 2 and 3, I was… Continue Reading

Here I am writing a blog about protecting my desires through trying to justify my relationship to the information that I share to others that I believe is ‘right’. And so with me trying to validate that I am ‘right’ within whatever information that I share, within this, I am protecting my own desires within me. As this point… Continue Reading

When and as I hear the word self-forgiveness, I connect it to ‘guilt’. So here I’d like to redefine the word self-forgiveness through covering all of the dimensions so I can stand clear of the word self-forgiveness. In this, I will speak about an experience, but speak about it, and direct it within self-forgiveness statements. Back-Chat Dimension: I see, realize, and understand that… Continue Reading

Here, I am continuing with how / why I feel like a man when touched in a particular moment / experience, wherein I limited that experience based on my own ‘feelings’. Here is the self-forgiveness for the 3rd point from the initial post: Self-Forgiveness #3Projecting the energy-experience as the typical boyfriend / girlfriend relationship onto… Continue Reading

Here, I am continuing with how / why I feel like a man when touched in a particular moment / experience, wherein I limited that experience based on my own ‘feelings’. Here is the self-forgiveness for the 2nd point from the initial post: Self-Forgiveness #2Projecting an energy-experience on to the female’s form that I was with, and… Continue Reading

Here I am writing a blog about my experience with touch. When and as a female is touching me, based on the type of relationship that I have with her, I would go into either a reaction of a positive, or a negative energy-experience within me of feeling like a ‘man’ that is experiencing the female as a ‘female’ based… Continue Reading

Here I am writing a blog about the mother / son relationship. I see, realize, and understand that my relationship to my mother is constantly validated within calling my mother ‘Mother’. This creates the illusion of ‘closeness’ to my mother because the word mother has been charged with different types of thoughts, imaginations, back-chats, etc. such as seeing oneself as a child in relation… Continue Reading

Here in this blog, I am continuing with the negative physical / behavior dimensions of the blog “That Sugary Feeling.” Negative Dimensions External Changes I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the design of / as the ‘fear of survival’ as ‘form’, as ‘taste’ — wherein I desire to… Continue Reading

Here I am writing a blog about my resistance to being touched. What are some of the words that I connected to the word ‘touch’? I see, realize, and understand that one of the words that I connected to the word ‘touch’ is the word ‘invasion’ as if someone is invading my ‘independency’. It’s been like that all… Continue Reading

Here I am writing a blog about April 18th — as the day that I was originally born. When I have a look at my birthday, I ask myself the question, “Why is it that I liked to celebrate my birthdays during my younger years — from the perspective of creating ‘expectations’ for birthday gifts, and desiring to… Continue Reading

Today I had fried fish with some shrimp, french fries, and hush-puppies. I had a thought that my body wanted to eat this, and so I went to buy it. So basically, I was trying to ‘match’ what I thought that my body wanted to eat. Later on, I had a heavy feeling in my… Continue Reading

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series My Relationship to the Color Pink On April 5th 2013 at approximately 10:30 PM, I bought a pink shirt. My external thought was that since my other pink shirt is getting small, I’d buy another one, but the actual underlying thought, as the actual back-chat… Continue Reading

Here I am having a look at what is ‘best for all’ from the perspective of when one person has a friction / conflict about a particular point…. in other words, if that person is coming from a perspective of having a look at a particular point self-honestly, but finding the point to not be… Continue Reading

This entry is part 1 of 1 in the series Sorry Miss Jackson Today I was having a look at the word ‘miss’ — from the perspective of the negative energy-experience that is created when and as I am ‘missing’ someone because of their absence. I see, realize, and understand that the point of ‘missing… Continue Reading

This entry is part 7 of 6 in the series 21 Days of BreathingHere I am writing a blog about a realization that I had in Day 13 when and as communicating with my agreement partner. I see, realize, and understand that most of the friction and conflict that is created within me to / towards my agreement partner stems from me ‘talking over’… Continue Reading

This entry is part 5 of 6 in the series 21 Days of BreathingI see, realize, and understand that when and as I am trying to ‘validate’ my relationship to ‘pictures’ through as looking at particular pictures — that I am still in-fact defining myself based on that particular pictured-presentation. In this, I am talking about ‘attraction’… Continue Reading

This entry is part 6 of 6 in the series 21 Days of BreathingHere I am writing a blog about day 11 of the 21 days of breathing. Within this process, I see that when and as I progress through the days that the process of stabilizing myself, as breath, has been more difficult — based on me… Continue Reading

This entry is part 4 of 6 in the series 21 Days of BreathingWhen and as going throughout my day, I accepted and allowed myself to discipline myself, but more from the perspective of holding on to a property of my imagination of which I separated that part of me within myself, and allowed that point to direct me… Continue Reading

This entry is part 3 of 6 in the series 21 Days of BreathingToday, I did not accept and allow myself to stand with and as my breathing consistently based on the excuse that I was ‘moving too much’ throughout my day. In other words, I made the excuse that I was ‘busy’. There was a particular moment wherein… Continue Reading

I see, realize, and understand that I formed / created a ‘relationship’ to each word that I ‘speak’. Therefore, each word that I speak has a charge it. If you have a listen to Kryon: My Existential History Part 9, you will see, realize, and understand that emotions and feelings are made out of frequency,… Continue Reading

I see, realize, and understand that I formed / created a ‘relationship’ to each word that I ‘speak’. Therefore, each word that I speak has a charge it. If you have a listen to Kryon: My Existential History Part 9, you will see, realize, and understand that emotions and feelings are made out of frequency, magnetics… Continue Reading

Over the past couple of days I accepted and allowed myself to participate in energy-experiences, which basically means that I either reacted negatively or positively to / towards something or someone. What is, in fact, energy? Energy is basically the dynamics, velocity, and the movement of energy as emotions and feelings wherein depending on the… Continue Reading

On March 5th 2013, I was looking at the dynamics of energy-experience, and how, when and as I have a reaction that is coming up from within myself — it would be me validating a particular energy-experience (an experience of an emotion or feeling) within me — in separation….. meaning that I create a ‘relationship’… Continue Reading

I decided to go to the store on March 3rd 2013, and made a decision to stabilize myself based on the point that when and as I am in a place with a lot of people, I see, realize, and understand that my eyes tend to constantly scan people based on their pictured -presentation to see how… Continue Reading

This entry is part 4 of 5 in the series That Sugary FeelingI see, realize, and understand that how I direct myself is according to external stimuli which thus creates how I move, behave, and react in this world / reality without giving consideration to my ‘relationship’ with the external world / reality. I within this, do… Continue Reading

This entry is part 3 of 5 in the series That Sugary FeelingImagination Energy-Relationship Self-Commitments to the Positive Image / Memory Outflows: I see, realize, and understand that when and as I have a desire to do something that I ‘normally’ do within my life, or when and as I have a resistance of not wanting to NOT do it, then the… Continue Reading

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series That Sugary FeelingImagination Energy-Relationship Self-Forgiveness: Positive Imagination Play-outs: Imagination Dimension Self-Forgiveness: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine going into Which Wich, and buying two chocolate-chip cookies to satisfy my desire. Energy-Relationship: I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand… Continue Reading

This entry is part 2 of 5 in the series That Sugary FeelingFear Dimension: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what it would be like if I am not able to generate that specific energy-experience that I get from eating chocolate-chip cookies. I see, realize, and understand that when and as I… Continue Reading

Here I am writing a blog about music. When and as growing up, I would always have this music playing in my head, and this music, within my mind, evolved ever since — as I still have music playing in my head. I didn’t see it as anything harmless, but after watching the video titled: Why Music… Continue Reading

This entry is part 6 of 6 in the series Captivated by SheenaReaction Dimension:Fear Dimension Energy-Relationship Self-Commitment: I see, realize, and understand that when I want to ‘feel normal’ when and as I am around someone (within the same vicinity) — I spent a lot of time ‘checking them out’ with my eyes because what… Continue Reading

Here, I am writing a blog about about communicating, and simply — when and as I do things in general, how I miss myself in plain view because I see, realize, and understand that it is the small things that count, and thus, every physical movement is a ‘counting process’ wherein if I am not… Continue Reading

This entry is part 5 of 6 in the series Captivated by SheenaImagination Dimension: I see, realize, and understand that when and as I want to ‘prove’ myself to someone, that I am trying to ‘prove’ myself to the mind because of forming / creating a polarity relationship to the mind as believing that I am ‘less than’ the mind. I see,… Continue Reading

This entry is part 4 of 6 in the series Captivated by SheenaFear Dimension Self-Commitment: I see, realize, and understand that the fear of ‘slacking’ as a ‘black’ man — from the perspective of not knowing how to ‘please a female effectively all circles around color, shape and texture, and how I created a relationship to different colors, shapes and… Continue Reading

Here I am writing a blog about desire. I see, realize, and understand that when and as I was writing another blog, how desire is in-fact a friction and conflict-relationship with self based on memories as thoughts, and imaginations — that turn into back-chat and reactions of emotions and feelings. And so when and as I have a… Continue Reading

This entry is part 3 of 6 in the series Captivated by SheenaPhysical / Behavior DimensionNegative Dimension Internal-Changes: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as seeing ‘Jac’, I immediately went into an internal personality / behavior change, and an internal experience of a ‘cringe’ between my stomach and my chest because I… Continue Reading

This entry is part 2 of 6 in the series Captivated by SheenaReaction Dimension:Fear Dimension Energy-Relationship Self-Forgiveness: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to — in my life constantly and continuously yearn to be in a relationship with a female so that I can feel ‘accepted’ and feel ‘normal’ — as I defined a part… Continue Reading

This entry is part 1 of 6 in the series Captivated by SheenaThrough growing up, I created personality systems within me that I became when and as coming into contact with different types of males and females based on their looks. In the 6th grade, I became aware of a categorization process that I started… Continue Reading

Here I am doing a blog because I see, realize, and understand how I move with the mind as the mind – as in participating in the mind rather than directing me in every moment of breath. And these moments wherein I am participating in the mind, I am aware of, but do not ‘move’ myself to direct myself equal-to and… Continue Reading

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series English IvyHere, I am writing a blog about my back-chat to / towards a friend of mine that called me on 1/16/2013. I see, realize and understand that over the years, I’ve had a desire to be in a relationship with her, but when and as she called me,… Continue Reading

Here I am doing a blog in relation to my process, and location. I was writing a blog the other day that is part of my 7 Year Journey to Life blog, but I was actually working on my second blog for that day for the next day because of the time-constraint being that I wouldn’t… Continue Reading

Here I am doing a blog based on me I seeing, realizing, and understanding that when and as I am in the cold weather, there is a negative-energy experience that I experience within myself. It’s sort of like an ‘anger’ that arises in which I create a back-chat within me of “I need to get… Continue Reading

This is a continuation of the blog Using Hospitality to Hold Onto Friends & Family 1.1 Back-chat Energy-Relationship Self-Forgiveness: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mold / shape my ‘water’ within and as my physical body to the mind – instead of purifying my ‘water’ to that which is ‘best for all’ wherein I support… Continue Reading

Here I am doing a blog based on a realization of a fear that I still hold on to, and this fear is the fear of losing my family based on wanting to assist and support another to see their family member. A person had asked me to switch schedules with them for a day at work… Continue Reading

Here in this blog, I am writing about my fear of being called out. I see, realize, and understand that there is this ‘standing’ that I like to exist in, and it’s this standing / position of believing that in my process of establishing myself as the directive principle of my mind, I tend to believe that when and… Continue Reading

Here in this blog, I am writing about a communication point wherein my agreement partner informed me to “get the guacamole” — because we were talking about what we should eat tonight which required guacamole. So after work, I got the guacamole, but when and as I came home, I had a disagreement with my agreement partner based on the point… Continue Reading

Here, I am writing a blog because on December 27th 2012, I had a desire to hang out with my step-father and play video games. But what is really the desire that I’m looking at here? Because I can say that there is an ‘energy-experience’ behind it meaning that when and as I go over… Continue Reading

Here I am doing a blog because I see, realize, and understand at times when and as I hear my agreement partner saying something that is ‘truthful’ / self-honest, I go into a ‘reaction mode’, and form / create a back-chat within me — especially when we’re writing blogs because of the fear that she might give me some feedback about my writings,… Continue Reading

Here I am doing a blog about the ‘taking risks’ personality, and my attraction to it. Now there are several dimensions in this, but I will start with one of the dimensions which is the facial expression of a person that likes takes risks. Now if I describe the facial expression of a person that likes to… Continue Reading

Today, me and my agreement partner were preparing a pork shoulder roast for a Christmas get-together. The pork was already done, and the broth of the pork was settling under the pork. My agreement partner wanted to make the broth out of a gravy, but I resisted this idea because I figured that it was better to… Continue Reading

Here I am doing a blog about how the mind forms ‘logic’ and then thus becomes ‘locked’ within that ‘logic’. And when and as that ‘logic’ is ‘challenged’ / ‘tested’, self begins to react to the particular-specific words that are being conveyed through another — as self does not see, realize, and understand that when self reacts… Continue Reading

Reaction and Physical / Behavior Dimensions: I see, realize, and understand that when and as I create a ‘reaction’ within me, then I am not here with my physical body, but existing in a friction / conflict relationship, of which I separate myself from the ‘here’ moment to a past, present, and future – of which I fuel the… Continue Reading

Here, I am continuing with some self-commitment statements: Thought Dimension: I commit myself to de-value my birthday through a process of self-forgiveness – forgiving myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a ‘value’ to my birthday. And so thus, it is to investigate for oneself the meaning of birthdays and the values that self gives to birthdays — to see,… Continue Reading

I see, realize, and understand that I created a ‘value’ to my birthday because I decided to have my vacation around my birthday. You know the interesting thing is that doomsday (December 21st, 2012) is judged the same way? If we have a look at the word ‘value’, it is the quality (positive or negative) that renders something desirable… Continue Reading

I see, realize, and understand how I accept and allow myself to become preoccupied within / as my mind if I do not remain constant and stable within and as my awareness of who / where I am in any given moment. Therefore in this blog, I want to do self-forgiveness for accepting and allowed myself to be / become enslaved by my… Continue Reading

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting sick because of not knowing, in specific, what the sauce of the cheese Enchiladas is at a restaurant, and so within that, fear the mushy texture of the cheese that was covered in the sauce — believing that because the particular cheese was smothered with the sauce, that… Continue Reading

Here I am doing self-forgiveness about my relationship with cooked food compared to raw food. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I know what my body wants — instead of realizing that if I am not able to assess my physical body’s condition — from the perspective of being able to feel each and every part,… Continue Reading

This entry is part 18 of 18 in the series Fear of Being a Man Thus, within this initial experience of seeing this man physically abuse this female as a point to try to get her to agree to his ‘proposal’, in addition to observing females’ eye-movements, and judging their eye-movements to/towards me as a… Continue Reading

Recent Blogs

Over the years, I always had the tendency to say that God is good, but there was something within myself that wouldn't allow it to be voiced in self-honesty, because when I took a look at the world, there was no consistency in the 'goodness' of God manifested throughout and within the world equally in […] more>>

Here in this blog, I realize how I formed and created an emotional connection to Indian females because of a memory that I had and believed it was true when I was in my months to about three years old where I sincerely believed that I had a family in a past life that resembled the […] more>>

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ‘emotionally dependent’ on others instead of realizing that this ‘emotional dependency’ to others is me running away from facing myself as an individual within my world and reality and taking self-responsibility to stabilize myself in relation to the points that I face in […] more>>

The word 'Birthday' in the dictionary has been defined as an anniversary of the day on which a person was born (or the celebration of it). Each year this day is celebrated in some form or fashion. I realize, for me, how birthdays represent my total beingness as an individual within this world meaning that it represents […] more>>