A funny thing happened on the way from there to here. Things quickly went from “Where the hell am I?” to “WTF is happening to me?!”

Within hours of arriving it felt as if my head was being smashed with a shovel and I was forced to drink the remnants of my brain with a straw (that’s a dream I had the first or second night here, I don’t recall): The seconds interlaced with the minutes which were interwoven with the days and it all become one nauseated blur.

Once you have arrived here there really is no point in looking up unless all you want to see is the sun.

But this I do remember clearly:

• A patch of green, artificial or not, sure can break up a monotonous landscape.

• One image gave me great comfort in knowing that all around the world couples in love commemorate their devotion to each other by writing their names in hearts on giant statues.

• The warm prickly feeling I had on my face would have been almost enjoyable had it not been followed by quick decent into unconsciousness.

So, if any of you could help me figure out where the hell I was and WTF was happening to me, I’d be obliged.