While the science behind this is a bit lost on us, it was not lost on Arsenal’s Robin Van Persie. The striker can’t wait to whip out his own third molars in the hope that it will help overcome his injury woes.

In a quite that might initially make you think he is in debt to a Mafia boss, Van Persie said: “I fear I’ll be forced to drink porridge through a straw. My osteopaths think there may be a connection between my teeth and the muscle injuries I suffer.

“Something like that is very difficult to prove. But if the operation makes just one percent difference it’ll be worth it. It could have an influence on the recovery time my body needs after an injury. Three of the four specialists I chose were rejected by the club.”

Rumours that Owen Hargreaves has hidden Sir Alex Ferguson’s pliers are still to be confirmed.