Look, I’m sorry. This video is gross. There’s no way around it. It’s taken from a sewer camera under Cameron Village in Raleigh. I have friends that used to live across the street from Cameron Village and now live only blocks away. We buy beer at the Harris Teeter in Cameron Village all the time. And, the kicker, I may be moving down there soon. So this shit (not trying to be profane, this is literally shit we’re talking about) freaks me out.

What the hell is happening in the Raleigh sewers? Monsters? Aliens? Can someone please get David Duchovny down there ASAP? I mean, I try not to be an alarmist overreactor, but my god man, what in the holy terror of a hell is this???

Seriously, if you live in Raleigh area, be on the lookout for something like this trying to sit on your face in the near future:

Is it true that you are moving into the new NASA VR-17 Testing Facility in Ghent?

-Tim, Norfolk

No, it’s not. I’ve actually heard this rumor flying around so I want to set things straight. I’m moving to Ghent today to move in with my friends Josh and Ginny. Not to move into the new NASA VR-17 Testing Facility.

I think the rumors got started because the facility’s opening and my move date were eerily near each other. Also, a great deal of the research that will be done at the fictional facility will be based around ‘Substance Q’, which Josh and I wrote about extensively in our as-yet-unpublished tell-all, The Braille Light. So, yeah, it would be natural to assume we’d be involved somehow, but we’re not. It’s all coincidence.

Today is just a regular Moving Day like any other. Just got the first load in the car:

The Rhymstoned Cowboy just pointed out that “Leprechaun in Alabama” deserves an honorable mention on the YouTube. And yeah, he’s absolutely correct. I still feel good about my Top 5, but there’s no reason not to post the LiA vid.

This is YouTube’s Monolith. The Revolver of YouTube videos. The total game-changer.

The moment the shackles were finally 100% gone and everyone stood up and took notice of its full potential. Suddenly, no one was safe. We all realized that the internet could ruin anyone’s life. Not just celebrities or politicians, but some nerd who was already on the lowest rung of the high school social ladder. Even that guy with seemingly nothing to lose could be further destroyed by the internet. Or, become an online celebrity.

Admit it, since the day you first saw this video, anytime you’ve done something stupid, somewhere in your head you’ve thought, “Holy crap I hope this doesn’t wind up on YouTube.” And anytime you post a video of someone else doing something stupid, you think, “Oh man I hope this becomes the next Star Wars Kid.”

At the same time, lots of other nerds realized they too could become “famous” via YouTube and they flocked there to start vlogs, post their “music videos”, etc.

YouTube ruined the Star Wars Kid’s life. And the Star Wars Kid gave YouTube its own. Seems like a fair trade.

Anyway, that’s what I think. Let me know if you think I missed something really vital and perhaps I’ll post it because posting classic YouTube vids is fun for everyone.

What do you think of the news that the Oscars will expand the number of best picture nominees to TEN?

Sid, CA

To quote The Rock…

Exactly. It doesn’t matter. There’s nothing credible about the Academy Awards anymore. They mean zero. They’re not an awards show; they’re an ad campaign. And what good is an ad campaign if no one sees it?

That’s the only problem they’re trying to fix. They want more people to watch the ceremony, which is basically a big Hollywood circle-jerk trailer. But nobody watches anymore. So, if they have more films up for Best Picture, they’re more likely to have a film that a potential viewer cares about up for Best Picture, making that potential viewer more likely to tune in.

It will also allow more producers and studio heads to pad their meaningless award show stats, which they hope will result in more money.

It has nothing to do with trying to recognize creative achievement.

And it diminishes the idea of being a Best Picture nominee. It’s like the MLB playoffs vs. the NBA playoffs.

The NBA has 30 teams, and 16 make the playoffs. That’s over half of the league that makes the playoffs! It’s not an honor to make the playoffs; it’s just embarrassing not to.

Now, take Major League Baseball. Also 30 teams. But only 8 make the playoffs. you pretty much have to win your division to get in. Just being in the running is an accomplishment. A big deal.

Obviously, 10 best pic nominees out of the thousands of movies that come out every year sounds like it’s still a rare honor. But, please, everyone knows that when it comes to nominatin’ time, there are really only about 15 films every year that are given remotely serious consideration. And they almost always have ties to major studios…and plots involving the holocaust.

To continue the post-season sports analogies, it’s kind of like the BCS. But worse, because sometimes even the best teams are left out as well as the poor teams.

The one thing the Oscars have going for them is, “Hey! At least we’re not the Golden Globes!” And that’s true. But they’re not terribly far removed.

You know what? Forget this. I just want to watch more clips of The Rock.