Hermione: Ronald, wake up!Ron: (looks shocked and pulls the covers up to his chin) Bloody hell!

Professor McGonnagal: Professor Moody! What are you doing?Professor Moody: Teaching.Professor McGonnagal: Is... is that a student!Professor Moody: Technically it's a ferret.(Malfoy runs off)Professor McGonnagal: We never use transfiguration as a punishment! Surely Dumbledore told you that?Professor Moody: (sheepishly) Might've mentioned it...

Mr. Weasley: Get out of the kitchen, Ron! Everybody's hungry!Fred and George: Yeah, Ron, get out of the kitchen!Mr. Weasley: (to Fred and George) Feet off the table!-Fred and George take their feet of the table as Mr. Weasley passes by and promptly put them back up again-Fred and George: Feet of the table!

Professor McGonnagal: Now, as representatives for the host school, I expect you all to not act like a bambling bunch of bumbling baboons!Fred: (to George) Bet you can't say that five times fast.George: Bambling bunch of bumbling baboons, bambling bunch of bumbling baboons, bambling...

Ron: She was just walking past... you know how I like it when they walk.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban...

Hermione: Is that really what my hair looks like from the back?

Ron: -waking up from a dream- Spiders... the spiders... they want me to tap-dance. And I don't want to tap-dance!Harry: You tell those spiders, Ron.Ron: Yeah, tell them... I'll tell them... tomorrow. -starts snoring again-

Ron: (about reading the tea leaves in his cup) Oh yeah um... well um Harry got sort of a wonky cross... that's 'trials and suffering'. And that there could be the sun and thats... 'happiness'. So you're gonna suffer... but you're gonna be... happy about it.

Susan: You were at 4,000 Kelvin. Any hotter, and you're approaching super nova.Johnny: Sweet!Susan: No, Johnny, not sweet. That's the temperature of the sun.Reed: You could kill yourself, other people, and burn up the atmosphere, ending all human life as we know it.Johnny: Got it. Super-Nova bad. -makes thumbs up-

Lancelot: You look frightened. There's a large number of lonely men out there.Guinevere: Don't worry, I won't let them rape you.

Lancelot: Well, if this woman of Gawain's is as beautiful as he claims, I expect to be spending a lot of time at Gawain's house. His wife will welcome the company.Gawain: I see. And what will I be doing?Lancelot: Wondering at your good fortune that all your children look like me.

Pirates of the Caribbean...

Jack Sparrow: A wedding? I love weddings. Drinks all around.

Elizabeth: Will.Will Turner: Elizabeth.Jack Sparrow: Monkey.

Jack Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.

National Treasure...

Riley: Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?

Shaw: How do a bunch of people with hand tools build all this?Ben: The same way the built the pyramids, and the Great Wall of China.Riley: Right... the aliens helped them.

Riley: When are we gonna get there? I'm hungry. This car smells weird.

Abigail: Are you crying, Riley?Riley: Oh, look. Stairs.

Ben: The preservation room. Enjoy. Go ahead. Do you know what the preservation room is for?Riley: Delicious jams and jellies?

Riley: Will someone please explain to me what these magic numbers are?

Life As A House...

George: Take that thumbtack out of your chin.Sam: Why?George: It bugs me!Sam: You snore at night. That really bugs me. Can I take you out?

Sam: (about the lasagna) See that? That's a trap.

Closer...

Alice: Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off... but it's better if you do.

Dan: What were you doing in New York ?Alice: You know...Dan: Well no, I don't. What, were you studying?Alice: Stripping.-Dan looks shocked-Alice: Look at your little eyes...Dan: I can't see my little eyes.

The Fast and the Furious...

Mia: I don't date my brother's friends.Brian: Looks like I'm gonna have to beat him up then.

Dom: (about Brian and Vince fighting) What did you put in that sandwich?

Brian: What was the deal back there?Dom: It's a long story.Brian: We have a twenty mile hike. Humor me.Dom: A business deal that went sour. Plus I made the mistake of sleeping with his sister.

Brian: Will someone please give me a cigarette?Agent Bilkins: Someone get him a cigarette.Sgt. Tanner: No! Don't get him a cigarette!Agent Bilkins & Brian: Why not?Sgt. Tanner: (to Brian) I thought you quit.Brian: I did quit... someone just give me a cigarette!

Mr. and Mrs. Smith...

Jane: If you don't like them we can take them back.John: All right, I don't like them.-pause-Jane: You'll get used to them.

John: (during a car chase) I never told you, but I was married once before.Jane: -slams on the breaks-John: What's wrong with you?Jane: -hits John- You're what's wrong with me John.John: It was just a drunken Vegas thing.Jane: Oh, that's better. That's much better. -pause- What's her name and social security number?

Jane: Wait, why do I get the girly gun?John: What? Are you kidding me?

Jane: Any last words?John: The new curtains are hideous.

John: (to the marraige counselor) Ask us the sex question.Jane: (whispers) John!John: (softly with his fingers out for ten) Ten.

Wedding Crashers...

Todd: We had a moment at the dinner table, didn't we?Jeremy: No! No! We did not have a moment at the dinner table, Todd!

Jeremy: Todd, I notice you haven't even touched your food.Todd: I don't each fish or meat.GrandmaMary: He's a homo!

Secretary: Now, now Todd. Truth be told, polling shows that most Americans would ultimately empathize with our situation.Todd: What is our situation, Dad?Grandma Mary: You're a homo!

Todd: I'll be in my room. -pause- Painting homo things!

John: Don't waste your time on girls with hats. They tend to be very proper.Jeremy: Yeah? Well, the proper girl in the hat just eye-fucked the shit out of me.

Madagascar...

Marty: You're biting my butt!Alex: (muffled) No I'm not. Julian: What is a simple bite on the buttocks between friends? -Nudges Maurice with his tail- Here, give me a nibble.

"What you write is for you alone and the possibilities are endless. So never give up, because if what you write makes you happy, then it is worth every word on that page, and only limited by your own mind's eye." - Cardeia

Now that Voldemort is dead, Harry and company are enjoying their last year of school by taking part in a timehonored Hogwarts tradition: the seventh year prank war. Edited and reposted. First brand new chapter now updated!

A sleek Scandinavian, detention romance, a summer fling, the one girl he never expected, and more. Read all about Sirius Black’s twisted lovelife and the girls who made it click. Long chaps, lots of action. Now officially M! Read and Review, please...

Patroclus' story. Patroclus lives and is taken prisoner. Events are pretty much the same, but the story is focused on Patroclus-he eventually finds love, yadda yadda etc. Better summary at beggining. Savvny n sorry! (Title is subject to change now)

Post DH. Teddy Lupin. A story about the fine line between friend and lover, love and hate, and the crazy effect us women have on men... and vice versa. Some sexually explicit scenes, beware if you're not into that.

Lily's friends have had enough. They've hatched an elaborate scheme to get Lily and James together, and are going to dedicate this year to pulling it off. But things keep going wrong: bitchy OCs, underestimations and more. Will their plan ever work? JL

Lily Evans is forced to move in with James and his friends by order of Dumbledore. She’s not exactly thrilled about the idea, though James has something up his sleeve. To top it off, she only has one summer left. Fluffy, plot, AU. Completed.

Set after final battle of movie. Will the knights & Priestesses be able to make it to Avalon in time to save Dagonet's wife and child? ALL KNIGHTS & OC'S EXCEPT FOR BORS! VANORA BEAT ALL MY CHARACTERS TO HIM.

Dear Mr Diary. Forgive me for I have sinned. You know my sins. I had temptations. So how do I thwart this temptation? I go ambling off on an adventure with James Potter in the middle of the night to a place where I’m not supposed to be. And it gets worst.

This is the story of love in unexpected places, friendship and cameraderie. Our knights, some new faces and Britain's people come together to work for peace, and live, love and learn about each other. A fun romance and human interest piece! COMPLETE

I know you still love me Cohen!" she screamed at him. "Maybe. But I don't trust you enough not to leave!" He screamed back. Summer returns to the OC only to find Seth engaged. Sex and fights and alchol lead to a showdown on wedding day.

{COMPLETE} Hermione knows falling for the wrong guy is just too tempting. One form a different era? Even worse, what with destructing your own time and all. But what’s a girl in love to do? Time turner fic. AU. HGJP

Lily and James are both popular, good looking and nice. They've gone through most of their life at Hogwarts, being best friends, nothing more. But what happens when one of them changes their mind? 5th year will change them forever, how, we don't know.

Not knowing the truth behind her patient’s life is driving Ginny insane. Follow her in her attempts to help the small boy Draco is hiding, and at the same time falls for her old nemesis, now her boss. COMPLETE and PreHBP.

LJ. Lily Evans is the Hogwarts Whore, and wants James Potter as her conquest. Unfortunately for her, James isn't that easy to nail and she may find that instead of her turning the tables on him, he may do the same to her.

The life of Teddy Lupin, in excerpts from eight years of age to eighteen. Making friends, starting Hogwarts, learning about his parents, being with his family... and finally, falling in love with Victoire Weasley. TLVW.

Based on the song White Houses by Vanessa Carlton. The summer after the trio's seventh year, six friends spend the summer in a bungalow in the country and find love... Pairings HPHG, DMGW, and RWLB. Not a OneShot.

Ginny's sick of Draco cheating on her so she takes matters into her own hands... by wrecking his new girlfriend's apartment for revenge. Flashbacks to Draco and Ginny's late Hogwarts years. OneShot. Based on the song by Kelly Clarkson.