Change

July 31, 2008 at 4:31 AM

It's the kind of thing that happens; actually it has to happen: My longest-lasting student quit to go to another teacher.

I started her when she was four and a half, and she's been my student for eight years. It made sense for her to move on, simply because she needs another perspective after so long. I think she and her mom were going to have a hard time moving to a weekday afternoon lesson time, as I was asking them to do, also. BUT, it still caught me a little off-guard. They were as nice as it's possible to be: she and her mom came to my house to talk to me about it, they brought me a little gift, promised to keep in touch, both told me "We love you Laurie!" But I still cried. Every week for eight years, I watched her grow up! I guess I pour a little bit of mothering into the whole endeavor, and whether I should or not is irrelevant. I just do. I'll miss her, and I'll miss her mom!

It was one of those moments when I felt like I was catching the world in the act of turning. Sometimes I just want to make it stop, so I can hold on.

After they left, my daughter Natalie gave me a big hug and said, "Mommy, you don't have to worry, I'm one student who's not going away!"

:( Something like this happened to me a year ago, but I was on the other end. There was a misunderstanding and I still blame my parents for what wound up happening. Some things turned out for the better, but some not so much. In fact, that was the main reason for my practicing slump, which I blogged about a while back. Hang in there!

I feel like my students and their families are my extended family. I always feel bad when a student leaves. I haven't had a student for 8 years and watched him or her grow up as you have. It must be a difficult loss for you. I'm glad the student and her mother cared enough about you to say good by the way they did. I'm also glad that your daughter did what she could to comfort you.

Oh man, I'm right there with you. This time of year, I'm so pessimistic about the return of any of my students that I'm actually more surprised when I get them back. I only lost one family so far, and I saw it coming. They lived too far away, plain and simple. It still hurts, though.

I hope you don't take it personally. I tend to do that, and I have to work pretty hard to get those thoughts out of my head. From the sound of your story, you don't need to worry about that a bit; they love you very much.

Hi, this sounds very familiar to me. It is sometimes very sad for me to say goodbye to a longtime student. I know and love seeing children grow up during the years, and often I, as the teacher, am a kind of a combined buddy/father/role model, with a big influence on the children.I'm always aware of the fact that someday they won't need me anymore. This makes it a little bit less sad, when that day actually comes.

I lost a couple of sisters last month. They were sweet, smart, hardworking kids with fabulous parents. They moved away. Some violin teacher over in Georgia will be very happy to take them on as students...

I also picked up a couple of new students, both beginners. One is a small one with a terrific ear, and the other is an adult already afflicted with a fatal case of OCVD (Obsessive Compulsive Violin Disorder). Both are having great fun, and doing very well.

And that is the nature of the business. Students come, and students go. As hard as it is to let go sometimes, it is a good thing to have new students that bring along a fresh sense of challenges.

I once had a student, a very nice girl who was a hard worker, always completed the assignments I gave her, but seemed a little clueless about music in general. She was my student for about a year, and one day, her mother came to me and told me that she would no longer be taking lessons as she needed to focus on her schoolwork. No problem. But I found out later that they moved her to another teacher. I would have understood if they had come to me and told me that they felt she would do better with another teacher. Their dishonest really hurt. It's so aggravating.

Laurie, you just told us a sad story that an incredibly wonderful and successful teacher inevitably would have to tell. You taught and nurtured the kid so she feels ready move onto a different scene. After all the tears, now it’s the time to give yourself a big pat on the shoulder and a huge piece of good chocolate to celebrate your success. You deserve it!

I hadn't thought of chocolate! ;) It's true, I definitely feel good when a former student keeps playing and striving to greatness with the fiddle. It's a fact that eventually every single student must at some point leave, and that's nothing to take personally. And yet when someone leaves your life, it affects you! In some ways the relationship goes on, whether you ever see each other again, and that's pretty cool. I certainly have an ongoing relationship with all my former teachers, whether I speak to them or not. Their words come back to me at certain times and make sense in new ways.