#ausiwhyareyounotlovingyourself 😔

After pouring my heart out about #lemonade and my special friend giving me a 👍 saying ke ngola ha monate (shout out to you Mpho whoooop **as I pop our imaginary bottle of G.H. Mumm Champagne 🍹**), I thought about what I was going to write about next. My love life? Okay. I was as inspired to write about that jwalo ka #lemonade but I thought I’d leave it for later when there’s something juicer to talk about 😋 aaaaaand because Bra God had another plan.

So 2 weeks back, there I was minding my own business while getting chesties on Instagram as I looked through sensational images of how I want my life to be like 😢 or at least how my #instapics should look and there it was 😢 a picture of Fifi Cooper in her natural hair… *clicks on the picture for a better view*, “she looks nice”, I thought to myself. And then bam, the horrific (I like exaggerating sometimes so lets move along) caption: “I dunno y but Mageu gets me thru my bad hair days.. weird ryt??”. 😕 Okay? I was a bit confused moo. What does she mean ha a re bad hair day? Hai maybe ha ke utlwisisi.

Let’s see…
(I’m having a mental conversation le ausi oo in my mind rn) “So you’re having a bad hair day if you’re wearing your natural hair? Is natural hair not good hair? What?” I was confused and sad at the same time. Maybe ne ke PMS’a hape, I don’t know 🙍. Mara nna ne ke bona a le motle. She looked even better without a weave ebile 😯. Bo ausi ba bang ha ba ithate outche and it’s really sad. How can you not be comfortable in your OWN skin mara? Yes media plays a very huge role in reaffirming that we are not attractive enough if we’re not light skinned, don’t put on make up, do our hair & nails, or whatever else some ladies do in the name of beauty. But this is 2016 ladies and relaxer sales have decreased exponentially, so please ✋.

I understand hore having a low self-esteem and insecurities play a part hape hape but cumon please man **Zupta voice** you are better than that ish. I say this because I’ve also had to deal with my own ish too when I was younger and nou ke manthso a proud 😘. I have residual issues nyana here and there but I try not to let them get to me – especially when I’m PMS’ing 😶. I had to deal with the bullying and constant put-downs and totally accept my darkness for what it was. Now I shine brigher than a diamond 😜 especially because I’ve learnt about my melanin – ke qhosha huuure 😂 and every sista should too.

Okay, fast forward nyana to last week. There I was minding my own business again thinking about the awesome grilled quarter chicken and chips I was about to eat in a couple of minutes while I queued ko ABSA. As I wait my turn, I hear this conversation between the black lady, a teller, and her white customer, who is a man. The conversation rolls out like this:

Him: Why you put your hair in a afro?
Woman: *politely laughs* Coz I can’t afford.
Man: You look like you put your finger in a plug man.

*I cannot find a good enough meme for my reaction after I heard this** 😥 ong touchitse deep down this man. I just started typing this short conversation on my phone and thought about what could possibly be going on in that lady’s mind. She’s propably even felt a bit ugly as she is having a “bad hair day” too 😩.

Fast forward hape to earlier today. There I was minding my own business again (sa di las I promise 😂) – this time I’m watching Community Season 3 for the third time (it’s that awesome 😎). Two young and very outspoken ladies barged into my room. I’m laughing about it now but I almost lost my shit hanyane 😂 – those two don’t give a damn hore o mang, wa kae, whatever – you must know they are here and they will do whatever and go through your shit if they want to.

Okay me being nice and all 😝 I decided to entertain their busy-ness. Within that short space of time, I was being questioned about my taste in music and I became a student learning how to spell “emotions” 😦. Like they live they’re own lives bana na. Confidence on 💯. Ha se ke hlapa hee, ba kena hape 😩 and they both decided to take selfies on both my phones while I’m bathing. (Jeso 😥). Ha ntse ba le busy, the darker one looks at the phone with such disgust and says “I look ugly”. Haiboo! 😦 Strike 3! I ask her why she says that. She replies “I’m dark and my friends say I’m ugly”. Yoh my heart sank. Baby girl is not even a teenager yet and she’s already having big girl problems. Dejavu 😥 all over again. Is it still a problem to be a young dark girl in our day and age? Just because she’s doesn’t look like her light friends she’s punished and does not fit in? Why? 😩 I went to tell her that I think she’s very beautiful and that dark skinned girls are the prettiest because when God made them he put an extra special ingredient called melanin of which she had more of then the other light skinned girls (I pray she was really listening 🙏). In between that convo and them showing me their “ Work” dance moves 😱 I grew fonder of the little rascals 😊. They made my day entlik. Goes to show there’s so much work that still needs to be done, doesn’t matter which generation it is.

Well, nna I don’t have the strength nor the power to change my fellow sistas minds about loving themselves better but I will try and show them. I’ve stared with my Instapage. From now on I will post my natural-as-possible selfies or full length poses if ever I’m feeling super Godly💃 Please note that I haven’t reached the “no filter” level nor the point where I can post pictures regardless of whether ke motle or I look boyish or super weird yet because I’m not perfect 🙍 ibambe lapho! I will work with the 0.1% influence that I have to show you ladies, especially the babies, that it’s okay to not be completely perfect. Like, live your life according to your dark rules not what other people say. Care less a bit 🙌 it’ll change your life.