The grown-up’s guide to bar basics

Life used tobe simple. We were young, and our home bar was called the refrigerator – a perfectly handy device used to store beer and left-over pizza. When friends visited and we offered them a drink, it meant popping the cap and handing over the bottle. Glasses were what you borrowed from your neighbour when your mother visited.

But now that we are men of the world, we’re required to exhibit a certain worldliness when it comes to the libations we offer our equally worldly guests. And no, stocking two brands of beer doesn’t cut it. The average man is now required to field an above-average bar.

Just as with your wardrobe, there are certain basics, in terms of colours, that you must have when it comes to spirits. White. Brown. That’s it. Everything else is a non-essential accessory. The whites are vodka, gin and rum. Vodka is a given. But keep it straight. Flavoured vodkas are for fashion models and the flunkies hovering around them. But keep a couple of variations on the classic by all means. Like maybe one grain and one potato vodka.

White rum is for mixing. Keep a bottle handy and learn how to use it. Make daiquiris. Make mojitos. And at a pinch, offer it with diet cola. (Chicks think you care if you keep the diet stuff in the house.)

Browns: A generic term for all dark spirits. Let’s begin with the obvious one: Whisky. Go the whole hog here – you need to carry at least one basic blend. This is what you’ll offer the whisky-and-soda crowd. Then, stock one good blend, a 12 year old and up. You’ll need this when the boss drops by – but remember to tell him it was a gift or he’ll think he pays you too much.

If you’re going to have only one single malt in your bar, make it a Speyside. Light and approachable, it’s the best starter malt there is. If you’re inclined to do more, an Islay should be next.

There should be one dark rum in your cabinet. Everyone has a college buddy who still drinks rum. Keep a bottle and he’ll stay away from your single malt.