Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Scope this, I was just thinkin'

Perhaps you are familiar with the Prince song Gett off. In the song, the gentleman narrator (whom I understand to be Prince himself) is propositioning an attractive woman in a tight dress. He refers to a rumor that she is not having sex as frequently as she would prefer, and suggests that he is available to remedy this shortfall. He mentions his attraction to her, and offers her the benefit of his extensive experience and enthusiasm. He is agreeable to any conditions she sets, particularly in the matter of contacting her after their relations. The narrator is so concerned with her satisfaction that he has researched her desires beforehand, consulting a mutual friend about her sexual fantasies (a thorough lover indeed!). This is the verse that has me at a loss; I re-print the lyrics for our joint reference.

I clocked the jizz from a friendOf yours named Vanessa Bet (Bet)She said u told her a fantasyThat got her all wet (Wet)Something about a little box with aMirror and a tongue insideWhat she told me then got me so hotI knew that we could slide

OK, so what is the box about? I usually picture a small box, perhaps three inches square with a removable side. When that slides back, I guess there is a tongue inside that the user could apply as she chooses? Maybe she holds the box to her girl parts, and the tongue goes to work? That could be useful, but if that’s how the box works, what is the mirror for? It has always seemed to me that the tongue and the mirror are mutually exclusive. Anywhere the tongue would feel nice, there are no vision receptors; anywhere you could see the mirror, you wouldn’t want to be licked.

Then I thought that there might be a couple angled mirrors inside the box (which you could prop at the correct angles as you opened a hinged side?) that would allow the user to hold the box to her down-there parts and watch simultaneously. I guess that could work (aside from keeping a live tongue in a box), but it would take some figuring out. Perhaps the user is highly motivated to recalibrate the mirrors with each new position, but it would still require a level of concentration that I don’t associate with getting eaten out.

I do know that the term ‘box’ may be a euphemism referring to her love orchid, which releases a lot of the constraints on this fantasy. The tongue’s owner could hold and angle the mirror for the lady’s benefit (again, an admirable level of concentration, this time on the giver’s part). I am not convinced that it would be a satisfying situation for either participant.

The verse closes by confirming that this fantasy is powerfully arousing, but none of my speculation has ever induced that result. What am I missing?