Author: hatesec

Christopher Numb Milka’s new book is about advancement of person, place, and time.

It resembles his previous works in every way, except this one is called Advancement Opportunities and You: Christopher Nemelka’s guide to enlightenment through entheogens, having sex with Chris, and doing heroin, probably also with Chris.

He is married to the Oxford comma, even in titles. But what is Christopher NOT married to? A wife!

Now that’s advanced.

This has been a test. If you are reading this message, all systems are nominal.

“In yet another predictable move, the solved game of 4-D chess grinds on.” Yeah, that’s right, I just quoted myself. It’s 2018 and I’m a smarmy cunt on the Internet! My opinions are organic, handcrafted, and locally sourced.

Hear hear, fellow denizens!

Political discussions, which have Very Important Consequences, must be taken as matters of life or death, friend or foe, Do or Die. YOU THINK THIS A FUCKIN’ GAME SON!?

Be sure to personally identify yourself by a cause (any cause will do!), so that high-minded, abstract, sensitive disagreements are interpreted as an affront to the very essence of your wretched being. As always, be sure to LASH OUT at the first signs of divergence, so as to Win the Aggression first. This is how like, our fucking ancestors did it, man. Tribal hate is tested and approved through the generations, and it WILL work for YOU!

The unprovoked attack appeared as part of routine bullshit called Microsoft feature roll-up, a process during which Windows 10 users’ machines do hidden things with implied consent, “like magic.”

For years, Windows has milked its userbase for extra coke money.

In the latest update, a pop-up briefly explains that it has been a while since you paid Microsoft for something, so the Fall Creators’ Update is offering users a choice between premium digital licenses to kiss Bill Gates’ fuzzy, wrinkled ass, or else go fuck yourselves and downgrade to Home Edition for free.

A sleek, modern update portal now lets users subscribe to a random kick in the dick by simply doing nothing. Uncheck a box, or agree to recurring charges, because you deserve it. The first update’s on the house!