I am 34 and never had a girlfriend, why cant I get one?

Resolved Question:

Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.

If you could provide more detail as to why you think that this has been a problem for you - meaning- what do think has prevented you from getting a girlfriend? ---I will be better able to help with your question.

I really don't know. I have friends - male and female - a good job, house etc. I am a little shy so it does take a lot for me to pluck up the courage to talk to people I don't know. I guess I think women won't be interested in me because even I think they could do better than me. Hope this helps.

One of the most important things you can do is become more self aware- -starting writing your thoughts and feelings down as if you were writing the story of your life and how you have related to others. This can be done on your computer. Just write what comes to mind about the following subjects:1) your family- and how the members relate-2) what you learned about relationships growing up -how it was between your parents.3) all thoughts and feelings about what you think or see when you look in the mirror4) all thoughts and feelings about how you think other people see you.5) What your fantasy would be in terms of relationship and what you would like to have if you could wave a magic wand.

Don't worry about how it sounds- just start writing and you will be amazed and what comes out. This is going to take some time and that is why you need some professional help- writing will help you develop the framework that will help you to figure out what is going on within yourself and that which you can then share with a therapist to help you put this together,

I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

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