Rants from a bored man

Yes it is. No one, even the divers themselves can pretend otherwise. Oh sure they can say they jumped out of the way in order to avoid a tackle because if they did not they might get hurt. And they probably might have a point, if they did in fact lost balance. Half the time they do not. They are “helping” the referee see that there was indeed intent and a foul, or an attempt at a foul. So lets not kid ourselves here. Divers are cheats. There is nothing really honourable about falling down when one was not touched. My intention here is not to defend the act, in some cases, art, of diving on a football pitch. It is cheating. It is that simple.

However, it is not the worst thing that happened to football. Nor is it a new phenomenon. And it is not only perpetrated by those dishonest southern foreigners as the English love to claim. Diving is as old as fouling. Everyone does it. And again, is is not a crime against humanity or sport. Yet, many act like it is. Every time someone gets caught in a blatant dive there is a big controversy about it, there are calls for video reviews and suspensions. Hell, some countries have that system in place and use it to retroactively punish the divers, sometimes, if blatant enough, with a multiple game suspension. My problem is that all this controversy and faux outrage is bullshit and as dishonest as diving itself. Actually more so.

Lets look at diving itself. Now its been happening for decades, no matter how people even older than I am try to claim otherwise through selective memory. So all this outrage is false and dishonest. Especially when its directed at foreign players (I am talking about England mostly, being fan of English football). There is this myth that for the most part English players don’t dive. Its bullshit of course as there are as many English players diving as there are foreigners. But English fans want to believe that their countrymen are better and more honest. The English emphasize honesty and hard work, so of course none of their heroes would dive. If they do then its a one off of course. That is another myth. English players are as good at diving as the rest of the world is.

The Honest English Footballer

If a foreigner dove to win a penalty in a Champions League Final then the English press would talk about if for years. Yet when an English player did it, he was a hero for starting a great comeback. But hypocrisy aside lets look at what the big deal about diving is. As I keep saying its cheating. In several cases its even trying to get a player booked, and possibly sent off, to gain an unfair advantage. However, many times there was a real attempt to foul and only the dive avoided contact. So in many cases it really is what the cheaters claim, trying to protect oneself from possible injury. Diving is simulation. Simulation is bad. But falling down is actually better than real simulation, like when after a tackle, a player pretends to be injured. And wastes everyone’s time!!! 30 seconds later we see him back on the pitch running at full speed fully recovered from his career ending injury. Its pathetic. That I hate more than the actually falling over.

And when we get all hot and bothered about diving we don’t mind other forms of cheating. Yet another hypocrisy from football fans. No one ever complains about two players from opposing teams raising their hands for a corner/goal kick, when they both know who touched the ball last. That is also deceiving the referee. OK, a player might not be booked as a consequence, but one of them is cheating. Every corner kick or a throw in has a “controversy.” Players actually argue over these decisions trying to influence the officials and the decision does have consequences, no matter how much we pretend that it does not. Players simulate, cheat, when they claim innocence after fouling someone. Players actually ask for other players to be booked. That last one is against the rules, and should be punished by a yellow card, yet the referees, being cowards, do not caution players for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Yet most of the above mentioned offenses rarely cause controversy or even registers on the fans’ radar. Its the divers who are ruining the game. Diving is punishable by a yellow card. But most football fans, and pundits, actually want divers sent off, or retroactively suspended for a game or more. That would put diving alongside violent conduct, like leg breaking tackles. And why? Because its not manly. Yes, divers are pussies who refuse to stay on their feet, and possibly, in some cases, get their legs broken, and we want to punish them like we do players who sometimes intentionally injure their fellow professionals. Its not manly.

That is the only explanation. Its not because its dishonest. We tolerate all kind of dishonesty from players, even dirty tackling. Its not that its unprofessional, several times per game many players waste time deliberately, they berate referees, they simulate injury, they claim innocence. We tolerate unprofessional behaviour that slows down the game and we don’t mind when our players have a go at the ref. That is fine. As long as a players does not fall down, we pretty much will tolerate anything.

Then we come to the refs and diving itself. Was there really intent? Well it all depends if its my player or the opposition player. If its my player, then he fell down avoiding a dirty tackle and simply lost balance. If its a player on the opposing team he fell down because he is a pussy and a cheat who tried to gain an unfair advantage and deceive the referee. There are not many clear cut incidents when we can all agree about a dive. Yet many people want video review and suspensions of players accused of diving. The reviewers must assume intent, otherwise it was not a dive. And of the several of the most notorious cases debated over years, about half were clear cut. So the system would be based on assumptions, and possibly reputations. What about minimal contact? Possibly not enough to make someone fall down if that someone really tried to stay in their feet. Is that diving? Was it not a foul in the first case? And if there was contact, then it was a foul, no matter how minimal the contact was, sometimes it does not take much to make someone running at full speed fall over. In that case it was not a dive. Yet we still moan about it and call it a dive.

And here is where the refs come in. Over the years I watched Ronaldo (Cristiano, not the fat one) dive many a time. However, most times he was properly fouled, or simple lost balance avoiding a foul. And as the years went by the refs became more and more reluctant to call a foul when they saw Ronaldo on the ground. And they never called a foul, even when he was indeed fouled, unless he did in fact fall. A player does not have to fall down in order to be fouled. But the referees are very reluctant to use their whistle if a players stays on his feet. So players go down easily. And the refs call even less fouls because they see players fall down after what they view as minimal contact. And in circles we go. Its the chicken or the egg argument. Do players fall over easily because the referees refuse to blow the whistle unless they do go down, or do refs not whistle for fouls because they think players dive.

The referees are a big problem in this. They refuse to take charge and do their jobs. Just as they refuse to call fouls in the penalty box. Or book players for waving an imaginary card, or book players early in the game. Or book players for blatantly fouling players who have reputations of diving. They refuse to make decisions and apply the laws of the game consistently. The idiots on television do not help, they talk about common sense, about trying to keep 11 players on the pitch, about intent, as if that mattered. If the referees explained that they will not tolerate holding in the penalty box players would stop, they certainly would stop if a couple of penalties were called. But then the refs would be slated by the same idiots on television for influencing the game or trying to be in the limelight. As if applying the laws of the game was trying to influence it. Its idiotic.

The referees are human of course and will make mistakes. And there should be a system in place for the refs to explain their decisions and for overturning their mistakes. But we do not have that in football. A referee can not talk to the media, even if all the fans want an explanation. A yellow card can not be rescinded, unless it was mistaken identity. And the refs are cowards. They will shy away from a decision. Many a time we see a player fall down in a penalty box, and the offending player claim innocence while the player who fell down calls for a foul. The ref only smiles and waves for the player to get up and runs away. That is bullshit. If both players are claiming something different, one of two things happened. A foul and a penalty should be called with a possible caution for the offender, or the diver should be cautioned for diving. Yet half the time nothing happens. And half the time the ref did not do his job.

And when this happens more and more do we really wonder why players do fall down? If you are almost never going to get a foul called when you try to stay on your feet, why would you? If you were getting hacked throughout the whole match why would you not try to avoid it and fall down in any case to make sure the offender got punished? Because its unsportsmanlike and not manly? Well fuck that. What is so sportsmanlike and manly about deliberately hacking down a fellow professional just because you could not get the ball off him? That is cheating. As bad, worse in my opinion, as diving itself.

And it comes down to this. We tolerate certain forms of cheating but scream bloody hell about others. Diving is cheating and when a ref sees it he should punish a player with a yellow card. And if anyone wants video reviews, then the same should happen. A retroactive yellow card. Just because the ref did not see the dive during the game it should not mean that the player should be punished extra for it. We do not punish violent incidents that the refs miss that way. The offenders get the standard punishment. Not double or triple the suspension. That would not make any sense. Everyone needs to come down about diving and use common sense. Its just another, among many, form of cheating that players do during the game. Why do we make one thing special and ignore another. Football has many problems, diving should not be on top of the list of things that are wrong with football. So yes, do get over it.