Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Worst Pun Competition.

For some godforsaken reason I have gotten into a bad pun series of e-mails with a couple of old friends. It’s actually turned out to be quite entertaining in a face-clawing sort of way. So far I reckon that the absolutely worst offerings have to be:

A lady walked into a bar and asked the barman for a double entendre ……….so he gave her one.

Two oranges walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says …. ‘Your round’.

Pretty agonizing eh?So we’re going to open this one to the floor and let both our readers pitch their most original and worst possible puns our way. As a prize, both Lungs will come round to the winners house and beat him/her senseless with wet loofahs. Our largesse knows no bounds.

Thanks PP, that was utterly awful. You’ve just made my day. Here’s another one.

A Buddhist monk goes to the dentist’s to get a tooth pulled. Soon everything’s set up and the dentist is about to administer the anesthetic. But the monk refuses it saying that he’d prefer to transcend dental medication.

The chief of a village marries three women on the same day. That night in his tent, he places one of his new brides on a tiger skin bed to add passion, he places another bride on a buffalo skin rug to give fortitude and the last young bride gets to lie in a hippo skin hammock for fertility. He then goes from one wife to the next and makes love to each of them.

Sure enough, nine months later each of the wives gives birth. The first two wives each produce a boy while the third wife has twins, both boys. The village’s wise man had cleverly predicted this for as he told the chief:

"The sons of the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."