11.17.2009

Thanks for the Memories

Since I held out on y'all yesterday (and I know you simply cannot go on without an installment of me throwing a hissy fit over absolutely nothing), I give you a Tuesday morning rant...

There is a dance of sorts that takes place when you split from a longtime boyfriend/girlfriend. It's called the "How Much Communication is Kosher?" dance. You exchange a few text messages, boo-hoo through the phone as you break down and call because you had a rough day (i.e. "your" song came on the radio, hot mess ensues), or partake in the oh-so-dangerous "friends getting together over drinks to catch up." (Which, by the way, is probably the worst idea ever. Alcohol + ex-whatever + fragile emotions = worst hangover of your life, in so many, many ways.)

But nothing cures my forlornness quicker than those lonely damn text messages that continue long after they're acceptable (or welcome). After years and years of partnership and love, it's nice to know that you still think of me...at 2am. What. The. Eff. Now, I understand the power of some good lovin', but give me a break. It's never, "Hey, hows ur mom?" or, "Hope ur well. Parents n dog miss u." (Get it? It's text shorthand. I'm so clever.) That, I'd probably at least appreciate. I wouldn't respond, for sobbing out loud, but appreciate for sure. I do NOT, however, appreciate you texting me because you had a saucy dream about hot tubs and sexy time in public places. 'Oh really?' I think to myself. 'Because I had a dream that I could sleep through the night without the annoying bing-bong of a lonely message. Hello, four hours of sleep.'In other news: I could barely sleep last night due to the intense throbbing of my right knee. I might need a cane. That, coupled with my out of control deadpanning as of late, probably means I am watching way too much House. I blame you, DVR.

7 comments:

As for the Midnight TXTing, I'm somewhat guilty. While it was before I grasped the text message for the glory that it is (modern hyroglyphics I believe one dramatic scientist stated?), I was guilty of hitting up an ex for some post bar lovin'.

Thankfully most women cannot resist me, due to my complete package of absolute male-ness, so I was never left hangin' with her. I think it also had something more to the fact of her just really liking to fuck, and 2am was the right time with my apartment being the right place.

Renee - That was my breaking point with Sr. Suavecito (whom I was talking about in this post). It's one thing to keep an old flame alive for far too long, but when they just get greedy and start overlapping, I've got zero tolerance. And I wouldn't be surprised if your naughty ex sends you another "Hey There" text after you've had some time to "cool down." :)

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