Category: Love Talk

It was bit amusing yet chivalrous, bizarre yet encouraging, finding myself in a dream fighting to win someone’s heart. I know, it is imperative not to over-spiritualize things, especially dreams which are most of the time product of our ‘subconscious’ personality, but I believe my dream speaks of every man’s journey to search for his ‘better half’ and upon finding her, to serve and protect her with all his might. After all, God sometimes speaks through dreams. And while I do not claim any direct, divine explanation for my story, allow me to just sprinkle some thoughts I pondered as soon as consciousness hit me on my bed that day.

The story unfolds inside a mansion with many rooms; contemporary in design yet the expanse so big it is comparable to an ancient castle. Some of the rooms are breathtaking in design and intricacies; some are so plain and dull. A fine, attractive lady is escorting me in my trip inside the mansion, bringing me from room to room boasting of its beauty. Her facial expression goes along with the design of the room – plain and mediocre when inside the plain rooms, radiant and spirited when inside the beautiful rooms.

As we progress in our journey that day, I noticed that the rooms are depreciating in splendor. The surrounding becomes damp and crowded; cobwebs begin to be visible and there emanates a stinking smell. Then I also noticed the embarrassment in her face. Our pace reduced and I can see the hesitancy in her eyes. It’s as if all the pain and doubts and worries and fears in life came upon her that moment. But I admired her for being strong. We moved slowly and she led me to the rooms with the worst condition compared to the first ones. She cries as she was telling me the stories behind the rooms. For some rooms, she can cite reasons, for others, she just returned blank stares, suggesting her lack of idea. I joined her in tears until we reached the terrace, which is also the end of my journey with her inside the mansion.

[I joined my friends outside the mansion. There we talked about our respective journeys in life. We poured out ourselves to each other as a band of brothers, ready to protect one another.] But when I gazed at the terrace, there I find visions of men and women contributing to the ugliness of the rooms I have witnessed inside the mansion. Some are even attempting to create new ugly rooms. Then a stirring came upon my heart. I need to protect the lady. I need to rescue her from people who try to add tears from her eyes by building ugly rooms in her mansion.

But we fought on the same battlefield. Our weapons seemed to be small and weak compared to our antagonists’, but we can retaliate. It is as if Someone stronger than anyone else in the field is backing us up.

With friends alongside, we fought the forces. We fought our different battles. They had their own motivations. Mine is to rescue the lady. But we fought on the same battlefield. Our weapons seemed to be small and weak compared to our antagonists’, but we can retaliate. It is as if Someone stronger than anyone else in the field is backing us up. Ultimately, we won. We ended up victorious. And a celebration awaits us.

I gazed again at the terrace. There she is, surrounded still by the horrors of the ugly rooms behind her. With her as well are the people who love her and care for her welfare. But now I can see her welcoming countenance. Without hesitation, I asked her to come down from the terrace. She turned around and bade farewell to the people behind her, as if asking for their approval, which they gave. And with just a glimpse, she joined me at the celebration below; with the happiest face I can ever imagine, ready to build beautiful rooms in our own mansion.

During the course of my existence, I’ve met and personally known wonderful couples whom I’m hugely indebted sa mga examples na ibinabahagi nila sa akin, both directly or indirectly. More than the examples written in the book, it is more encouraging to see marriage through the lens of reality. Mas makulay, mas madrama, mas kapana-panabik.

So hindi lang basta pareho kayo ng belief ay “equally yoked” na rin kayo. Hindi lang basta pareho kayo ng language ay talo-talo na. It’s not about trusting our own senses and promptings of the heart and emotions – it has to be God’s prerogative. Anything surrendered unto the will of the Lord He will honor and recognize as long as tama ang ating puso. Hindi naman Siya madamot. He just wants to set things in order. Kasi mahal Niya tayo. And that is the heart of the matter. Masu-surprise ka na lang.

The good thing about the book I mentioned, and many other books about marriage na nabasa ko na (apparently beneficial kasi talagang basahin yun kahit ng mga singles), is that it remains to be positive in the institution of marriage itself. There’s blessing and beauty in it na dapat nating kasabikan. Yes, marriage is somehow frightening and countless stories of failed marriages lurk around us. Hindi natin mapapasubalian yun. However, the disappointments of the few does not weigh the same as the joy of those who remains committed to it, no matter how hard they’ve been through. Maniwala pa rin tayo sa poreber.

There was a time when I made a sensitive joke about a certain Facebook video. For me then, talking about (and laughing about) that joke is no big deal. Until someone who cares enough about me rebuked and reminded me how disappointing it is for a Christian like me to join the world in humiliating the person in that video by watching such over and over again, to my heart’s content. In fairness hindi ko naman ni-like and share, pero just the same, I took time to laugh about the misery of the person. Kitams, nag-justify pa ako. Haha!

There is power in rebuke – and it is given to encourage, and not to bring a person down. Maybe a rebuke is the most loving thing you can ever give to a struggling person, something that sweet, flattering words can never become. Sabi nga ni King Solomon,

An open rebuke is better than hidden love! – Proverbs 27:5 NLT

Kaya naman thankful ako for people who take courage in rebuking me. Masakit, mahapdi, pero kailangan natin para matuto. In fact, they are the most loving person one can ever have.

Gusto mo bang maging mas loving sa iba? Maximize the power of rebuke. Pero word of caution lang, do this in the spirit of love and not with a motive of bringing someone down.

Like this:

Tama si Princess: tuwing ganitong panahon, sagana tayo sa 3K: may Kilig, may Kabog, may Kirot…. It’s love month once again and I am about to share with you something about God’s kind of love.

The world defines love in these three emotions:

KILIG

– the superficial indication of a “desired” love. I say “desired” kasi ang kilig ay something desired, kasi ito ay desirable. Hindi ka kinikilig sa taong ayaw mo, lalo’t hindi sa kaaway mo. Ang kilig ay nararamdaman lang kapag ang taong gustong-gusto mo ay kinakausap ka, tinetext ka o kahit lumapit lang sa iyo. But we all know that love is more than just the kilig factor. Jesus was never kinilig when He was praying in agony in Gethsemane, much more hanging on the cross. But we all can say that that act is the perfect demonstration of love.

KIROT

– the sudden gush of emotion that makes you swear you will never fall in love again. Makirot sa pakiramdam kapag iniwan ka ng mahal mo. Ang gusto mo mamanhid ka na at wala ka nang maramdaman. Ayaw mo nang makinig sa payo ng iba. Ni ayaw mo nang kumain. Nagiging bitter in the end. But God’s kind of love, no matter the amount of heartaches and pain He receives from us, still keeps us as if we never offended Him. He never became bitter on us.

The Greek word for faithfulness is pistis and it means “firm persuasion, conviction, belief in the truth, veracity, reality or faithfulness.” It carries the idea of giving someone credit. An English synonym is, oddly enough, reality. You focus your faithfulness on someone who seems “real” to you.

Maybe the reason why we are sometimes finding it hard to believe His faithfulness is because we are basing our faith on the wrong thing. There are two bases for our faith:

Faith based on what God does.

This kind of faith is dependent on the obvious. To him, “if God is not obvious, then obviously He’s not God.” To him, to see is to believe. This kind of person shows faith kapag may gumagaling na karamdaman o mga panalanging sinasagot. Pero paano kapag parang inactive si Lord? Ayun, nawawala din ang pananampalataya. Sabi sa Isaiah 55:8-9, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Faith based on who God is.

This kind of faith is dependent on the character of God. He knows that “Jesus is the same yesterday, and today, and forever”. His faith is not greatly moved because he focuses on a God not greatly moved! In the midst of a society where the only thing we can count on is we can’t count onto anything, God is his guarantee. He knows that God answers prayers in different ways: healing for one and not for the other. Victory for one and not for the other. But still, his faith is on God.

One reason we know God is believable is because of his incomparable record of fulfilled prophecy. Out of literally hundreds of prophecies which have arrived at their time, every single one has been fulfilled exactly as God said, down to the minutest detail. In fact the closest length of time between the major prophecies and their fulfillment was 200 years. More glorious still is the fact that at least 61 were foretold and perfectly fulfilled during the earthly life of His Son Jesus!

Now consider this. From the journal Science Speaks, Peter Stoner offered the following calculated figures: if you take 8 prophecies out the 61, the probability of all 8 being fulfilled is 1 in 10 to the 17th power. He illustrates it this way: take 100,000,000,000,000,000 silver dollars and lay them in face of Texas. They will cover all of the state two feet deep. Now mark one of these silver dollars and stir up the coins. Blindfold a man and send him out to pick up the marked silver dollar. The chance he will pick u the right one is 1 in 10 to the 17th power.

If we add 40 more fulfilled prophecies to the 8, the chance would be 1 in 10 to the 157th power. Just imagine 157 zeroes! Yet all 61 were fulfilled just as God said it would be! Indeed God is believable! And He is coming back for us!

When He said I will provide, will you still doubt Him?

When God said He longs for you, do you still resist Him?

Now when God said He loves you, do you ignore Him?

And when He said I will come back for you, will you wait for Him?

This is God’s kind of love, a believable kind of love. Not the kind of love centered on superficial kilig, unexplainable kabog, and sudden kirot.

***

Note: Some points written here were taken from the book Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Holy Spirit by Beth Moore.

Maging handa personally – emotionally, socially, spiritually at wag laging hindi mapakali. Entering into a relationship is the same as sharing your life to your chosen partner, so better be ready.Otherwise, chose not to enter a relationship.

I was bothered. I really don’t know what to do. I felt the urge to decide. I know that the Holy Spirit is telling me something, and my response should be done urgently. I was puzzled, and apprehensive. I want to reason out, but I know I won’t wind, (never will I win, rather). So I prayed…

And His response was:

“Do not be yoked with unbelievers” 2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1

It is a well-known principle among Christian teens, and is common to all believers. But I have almost forgotten about it. I pretended to be innocent about the truth it says and God revealed three reasons why should I put to an end a relationship that I keep on insisting.

I. We do not have something in common (vs.14-16)
I am a temple of the living God and He lives in me. If I keep on associating with someone who is walking in darkness, nothing good will happen. Just like a clear water mixed with water full of dirt, so as with a believer and an unbeliever having mutual relationship. It is obvious: Bad company corrupts good character. (Jesus took away our sins and made us new creations, made alike in His glory. So it is just proper to keep ourselves from the world’s wickedness). Not having mutual association with an unbeliever is not an act of arrogance; it is an act of obedience to the One who took away our sins and Who gave us a promise of eternal life.

II. God has something in store for me (vs.17-18)
God says, “touch no unclean thing and I will receive you”. God does not delight in the wickedness of men, so it’s detestable to Him if I come into His presence with unclean hands and hearts. Also, He gave me a promise, “that He will be my Father, and I will be His son”. If our biological father delights in giving us our needs and wants, how much more our Heavenly daddy, who owns everything? (In fact He even gave His precious Son to show his undying love for us). So, He assured me that I should only ask for “His will” and wait for her. And when the day comes when “His will” and I meet, my JOY would be complete.

III. As an act of reverence for God (vs.7:1)
When we associate with unbelievers, we often forget that we are Christians, and eventually we sin. How much more if the relationship with an unbeliever is mutual? God commands that we should purify ourselves from anything that contaminates body and spirit. Indulging yourself in ungodly acts with an unbelieving partner brings contamination in the body (in form of sickness such as STDs) and in the spirit (in the form of sin). God just wants to spare me from these things so He wants me to stop arguing with Him and start obeying Him.

I had already made a decision; to act for my decision should follow. If making a decision is too hard, acting in accordance with such decision would be doubly hard. But I know God, who helps me ever since — will give me the courage to do what He wants.

Note To Self

This is my virtual space for all my random musings on life, love, ministry and everything in between. Join me as I jot down notes as I explore and enjoy what God has offered me in my tiny corner in this world.