Everyday ramblings of a country girl, trying desperately to survive in the city.

A little update on Clay…

Brian and I talked last night about this situation with Clayton. I am still not exactly sure what I’m going to do, but we at least have a starting point.First thing I’m going to do is schedule a meeting with his principal. I am going to tell her that I feel it would be best if Clayton repeats the 5th grade. He is neither academically or socially ready for middle school..and I REFUSE to let him fall through the cracks just because they want to shuffle him off so they don’t have to deal with it.

I am also going to look into some “homeschooling” stuff that I can use to help him…there is no way I can afford a tutor…but he evidentally needs some extra help…so I guess it’s mommy school this summer. I really think that if he goes into next year, armed with the knowledge he NEEDED to get in 4th grade (I still don’t think he should have been put through to 5th) he will be more confident and will do better.

Then, and this may not be a popular thing to do, but for the behavior problems…evidentally what I have been doing is not “working for me” (teeheehee..gotta love Dr.Phil!) so I am going to do what phil says and take and use his “currency”…that would be the t.v., video games, game boy, computer, yu-gi-oh cards….pretty much everything he likes, including time with his friends, and make him earn it all back…and that will take time, I know it will, but something has GOT to get through to that kid. This is not going to be a fun spring break for either of us…but I have to do everything I can to get this right. I can’t let him continue on the path he is on…I love him too much.

And I am so angry at myself….I am angry because I KNOW that had I been a good mother to him when he was little, he would be a different kid today. I just want to go back and find that girl, who was pretending to be a mom, and smack her…tell her to wake up, tell her to be a better mom, to hug him more, to not treat him like he is invisible. I hate myself for not being a good mom to him, and I hate his father for being 10 times worse than I was.BUT…I cannot change the past…I can only do what is right in the here and now. It has been a struggle, but Clay and I have come a long way…we still have a long way to go. But I am going to do it right or die trying.I won’t let him down anymore.