Skydiving

Following a number of tragic accidents
that have befallen innocent holidaymakers on so called
'adventure holidays', the government has ordered an
inquiry into standards of safety employed by tour
operators.

One of the worst offenders has been Ramrod
Adventure Holidays. We secured an exclusive interview
with the company's founder Milton Ramrod, in which he
proved to be remarkably unrepentant.

Milton Ramrod, your company promises 'a skydiving holiday with a
difference'. Is that correct?

It certainly is. At Ramrod
Adventure Holidays we are very proud of the fact that all
our package holidays offer something a little different.
Our skydiving holiday is one that we are particularly
pleased with, and it has proven to be very popular.

I believe that the
main difference between yours and similar skydiving
holidays is that you don't offer parachutes?

Essentially, yes. It's skydiving
without the parachute - rather a novel twist, don't you
think? We provide flippers, facemasks, breathing
apparatus - in fact all the safety equipment usually
required by divers. Then we take these people up in an
aeroplane and push them out.

I see. Is it dangerous at all?

Dangerous? Good grief no! I've been
running this holiday for over fifteen years and I've
never been hurt once.

Yes, but then
you're not the one jumping out of an aeroplane without a
parachute, are you? Isn't it dangerous for the people
actually doing it?

Well I think it stings a bit when
they hit the ground.

Stings a bit! Mr.
Ramrod, I have it on good authority that this activity is
extremely dangerous.

You might think that. The fact is
that while I have been running this offer I've had over
four hundred customers and not one single complaint.

You've had four
hundred and twelve customers to be exact, Mr. Ramrod, and
not one of them has survived.

Well what do you bloody expect? We
take people's money, dress them up like idiots then drop
them out of an aeroplane. Of course they're going to die,
any fool can see that.

But don't you feel
any remorse, Mr. Ramrod? Don't you feel guilty about
leading innocent members of the public to their deaths?

Now look, we've always been very
up-front about what we do. In all our advertising
literature we make it quite plain that we do not provide
a parachute. During training and on several occasions
before the final jump we stress this point, and there is
ample opportunity for the participants to change their
minds. In this event we do, of course, offer a full
refund.

Well that's as
maybe, Mr. Ramrod, but I honestly don't think I'd be
tempted to take such a holiday, and I can't see many
other people getting involved either.

Ah well, you'd be surprised. It's a
marvellous way to relax and probably one of the most
exhilarating experiences that your money can buy. I'm
sure that if you came along to watch one of our 'drops'
you'd soon change your mind. I tell you, there's nothing
more exciting than the spectacle of forty fully grown men
and women plummeting to their deaths at ten metres per
second squared, wearing nothing more than a wet suit, a
diver's watch and a snorkel.

We
will be interested to see if the government report adopts
a similarly cavalier attitude, and will bring any new
developments to you as and when they happen.