Thursday, August 20, 2009

Thou Shalt Go to the Theatre

With time ticking down until my little birds have to fly, I'm trying to gauge how much progress I've made with each of the proteges.

AJ is, by far, the one I'm most concerned with at the moment.

ME: We're going to make this as fun as possible.AJ: But K-Brock, what if I trainwreck?ME: Then you won't be trainwrecking here.AJ: Huh?ME: AJ, I'm taking you to New York.AJ: Yeeeeeee haw!

I just might regret this.

Still, I figured it was safer to introduce AJ to the arts as far away from his home turf as possible.

Plus, I miss Times Square.

AJ: How long can we stay?ME: Not long enough for you to hook-up with anybody.AJ: We're staying less than an hour?

We arrived in the city around noon, and bought tickets for our first show. After a quick lunch, we headed to the theater.

That was where the trouble began.

ME: AJ, quit texting.AJ: I'm texting this kid I met in the train station.ME: When did this happen?AJ: When I told you I thought I saw Billy Joel boarding on track fourteen.ME: I looked away for five seconds!AJ: The new Iphone contact-to-contact with a bump. It's a beautiful thing.

I confiscated AJ's phone, but once the play started, things didn't get any better.

AJ: I'm lost.ME: Ssshhh...AJ: But I'm lost.ME: I'm explain at intermission.AJ: Why are they talking so fast?ME: They're not.AJ: Yeah they are. I don't know them. They have to talk slower.ME: AJ--AJ: But K-Brock, I'm lost.ME: I'm going to make sure you're lost in a second.

At intermission, he wanted to bail.

AJ: I hate it.ME: You might like it by the end.AJ: Doubtful. Plus ten times three, I want to go hang out with that guy. Apparently he lives in Jersey. Is that far?ME: AJ, this was supposed to be a trip of culture and learning.AJ: It was! I learned I don't like culture. Can I go now?

I should have said 'No,' but I was so frustrated--

ME: Fine. Go. I'll meet you at the station at ten, okay?AJ: Rock on. You're the best, Kev.ME: Ohhh, I know.

Maybe AJ's not the one who needs to learn something. Maybe I do. Maybe I need to learn that you can't change some people...