The 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman (right) next to a stock Mini Cooper. The Mini Cooper line has grown since the remake of the original Mini was introduced in 2000.
(All photos by Michael Taylor)

Image 1 of 11 - 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

The 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman (right) next to a stock Mini Cooper. The Mini Cooper line has grown since the remake of the original Mini was introduced in 2000.
(All photos by Michael Taylor)

The 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman (right) next to a stock Mini Cooper. The...Mini Cooper line has grown since the remake of the original Mini was...introduced in 2000.
(All photos by Michael Taylor)

Image 2 of 11|2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

For the 2013 model year, we have the Paceman and you have to wonder if maybe the Mini execs might have put the brakes on this mass propagation. The Mini Coopers have grown in size, which may not be the best thing that's happened to them.

Image 2 of 11 - 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

For the 2013 model year, we have the Paceman and you have to wonder if maybe the Mini execs might have put the brakes on this mass propagation. The Mini Coopers have grown in size, which may not be the best thing that's happened to them.

For the 2013 model year, we have the Paceman and you have to wonder if...maybe the Mini execs might have put the brakes on this mass...propagation. The Mini Coopers have grown in size, which may not be the...best thing that's happened to them.

Image 3 of 11|2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

The Paceman is the bigger Mini, kind of a two-door Clubman, and has all-wheel-drive, a turbocharged, 1.6-liter, 181-horsepower four-cylinder engine, and a six-speed automatic (six-speed stick is available.) It is not very fast. Its EPA mileage figures are 23/30 mpg city/highway.

Image 3 of 11 - 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

The Paceman is the bigger Mini, kind of a two-door Clubman, and has all-wheel-drive, a turbocharged, 1.6-liter, 181-horsepower four-cylinder engine, and a six-speed automatic (six-speed stick is available.) It is not very fast. Its EPA mileage figures are 23/30 mpg city/highway.

The Paceman is the bigger Mini, kind of a two-door Clubman, and has...all-wheel-drive, a turbocharged, 1.6-liter, 181-horsepower...four-cylinder engine, and a six-speed automatic (six-speed stick is...available.) It is not very fast. Its EPA mileage figures are 23/30 mpg...city/highway.

Image 4 of 11|2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

A note on the rear view mirror: the knob for changing day mirror to night mirror is smooth and round. You have to grip it tightly just to try and turn it. Why not a simple flip switch?

Image 4 of 11 - 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

A note on the rear view mirror: the knob for changing day mirror to night mirror is smooth and round. You have to grip it tightly just to try and turn it. Why not a simple flip switch?

A note on the rear view mirror: the knob for changing day mirror to...night mirror is smooth and round. You have to grip it tightly just to...try and turn it. Why not a simple flip switch?

Image 5 of 11|2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

Early on, designers may have said to each other, let’s make this one different, let’s be creative. In the Mini Cooper Paceman, the result is a design that effectively changes the driving experience, and not for the better. The seats are hard and I found the driver’s seat difficult to get into a comfortable position.

Image 5 of 11 - 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

Early on, designers may have said to each other, let’s make this one different, let’s be creative. In the Mini Cooper Paceman, the result is a design that effectively changes the driving experience, and not for the better. The seats are hard and I found the driver’s seat difficult to get into a comfortable position.

Early on, designers may have said to each other, let’s make this one...different, let’s be creative. In the Mini Cooper Paceman, the result...is a design that effectively changes the driving experience, and not...for the better. The seats are hard and I found the driver’s seat...difficult to get into a comfortable position.

Image 6 of 11|2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

There are two speedometers and both are a bit difficult to read. The first one, a small digital readout, is in the center of the tachometer (it’s also hard to read the tach’s numbers, by the way), directly in front of the driver. The second speedo is a red needle that creeps almost invisibly around the humongous round center-dash-mounted information screen. To read either speedometers, you have to take your eyes way off the road, particularly when reading the center instrument cluster.

Image 6 of 11 - 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

There are two speedometers and both are a bit difficult to read. The first one, a small digital readout, is in the center of the tachometer (it’s also hard to read the tach’s numbers, by the way), directly in front of the driver. The second speedo is a red needle that creeps almost invisibly around the humongous round center-dash-mounted information screen. To read either speedometers, you have to take your eyes way off the road, particularly when reading the center instrument cluster.

There are two speedometers and both are a bit difficult to read. The...first one, a small digital readout, is in the center of the tachometer...(it’s also hard to read the tach’s numbers, by the way), directly...in front of the driver. The second speedo is a red needle that creeps...almost invisibly around the humongous round center-dash-mounted...information screen. To read either speedometers, you have to take your...eyes way off the road, particularly when reading the center instrument...cluster.

Image 7 of 11|2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

The tachometer, directly in front of the driver, has a small digital speedometer. It's not easy to read while you're driving.

Image 7 of 11 - 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

The tachometer, directly in front of the driver, has a small digital speedometer. It's not easy to read while you're driving.

The tachometer, directly in front of the driver, has a small digital...speedometer. It's not easy to read while you're driving.

Image 8 of 11|2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

In this close-up of the center stack information screen, note the red speedometer needle going around the periphery of the instrument. Not easy to read from the driver's seat.

Image 8 of 11 - 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

In this close-up of the center stack information screen, note the red speedometer needle going around the periphery of the instrument. Not easy to read from the driver's seat.

In this close-up of the center stack information screen, note the red...speedometer needle going around the periphery of the instrument. Not...easy to read from the driver's seat.

Image 9 of 11|2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

The HVAC temperature control is almost on the bottom of the center stack, next to its readout instrument. If you want to change temperature, your eye has leave the road and travel way down, almost to the floor.

Image 9 of 11 - 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

The HVAC temperature control is almost on the bottom of the center stack, next to its readout instrument. If you want to change temperature, your eye has leave the road and travel way down, almost to the floor.

The HVAC temperature control is almost on the bottom of the center...stack, next to its readout instrument. If you want to change...temperature, your eye has leave the road and travel way down, almost...to the floor.

Image 10 of 11|2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

The sun visors are only marginally useful. The one in front of the driver is too small – there’s a gap on its left end that lets in plenty of low-riding sun; on the side visor, half of it uselessly covers the inside of the car’s roof, leaving only a couple of inches to sun-blocking duty. Besides, it’s mounted too high to do much good.

Image 10 of 11 - 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

The sun visors are only marginally useful. The one in front of the driver is too small – there’s a gap on its left end that lets in plenty of low-riding sun; on the side visor, half of it uselessly covers the inside of the car’s roof, leaving only a couple of inches to sun-blocking duty. Besides, it’s mounted too high to do much good.

The sun visors are only marginally useful. The one in front of the...driver is too small – there’s a gap on its left end that lets in...plenty of low-riding sun; on the side visor, half of it uselessly...covers the inside of the car’s roof, leaving only a couple of inches...to sun-blocking duty. Besides, it’s mounted too high to do much...good.

Image 11 of 11|2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

Serendipity: this Lamborghini was parked next to the Paceman. This probably illustrates something about the two cars -- the yin and the yang?; the point and counterpoint? -- but I'm sure it's elusive, whatever it is.

Image 11 of 11 - 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman

Serendipity: this Lamborghini was parked next to the Paceman. This probably illustrates something about the two cars -- the yin and the yang?; the point and counterpoint? -- but I'm sure it's elusive, whatever it is.

Serendipity: this Lamborghini was parked next to the Paceman. This...probably illustrates something about the two cars -- the yin and the...yang?; the point and counterpoint? -- but I'm sure it's elusive,...whatever it is.

After a couple of hours of driving the 2013 Mini Cooper Paceman, it occurred to me that this is a car that should fold its tents and lurch away; I wouldn’t miss it. Then, after driving it for a week…. and here I should be writing the forgiveness paragraph, wringing my hands in shame and embarrassment and wondering how I could have been so wrong, so peremptory.

Well, no. At the end of the week, I felt the same, so I parked it and went back to driving my own car (not a Mini.)

To give some context to this rant, let me say that this car and I simply disagreed. Others may feel differently, especially those who shell out the $40,000 it takes to drive one of these Minis out of the showroom. In wider context, we should point out that the Mini (Cooper was later added to the name) was a wildly popular car when it was introduced in 2001. It was the descendant of the original British Motor Corporation’s Mini, born in 1959, a car that was most famously seen in that trio of cute little hatchbacks racing around Rome in the 1969 movie, “The Italian Job.” (It was so popular they did a remake in 2003, using the modern remake of the Mini.) The whole point of the Mini, both then and now, was that here was a fun econobox that could carry you and your groceries and a couple of small people who didn’t mind roughing it. Through a series of corporate deals, BMW ended up owning Mini in 2000 and decided to resurrect the brand as a modern version of the old favorite. All well and good. Then they decided that one Mini wasn’t enough. They began to proliferate, like little English rabbits.

The convertible bowed in 2005, then came the Clubman, which was kind of a Mini station wagon. In the 2011 model year, we got the Countryman, a bloated five-door crossover Mini and a year later, the Coupe, a downsized Mini, if that works for you. Speaking of works, sprinkled in this production mix were the John Cooper Works Minis, breathed-upon hot rods that were genuinely fast and nimble.

Now, for the 2013 model year, we have the Paceman and you have to wonder if maybe the Mini execs should have put the brakes on this mass propagation. If the Paceman is any example, I can think of a few arguments in favor of mercy-killing this little beast. Among them: it is not a lot of fun to be in, either as a passenger or a driver. That’s the overall feeling. We’ll try to find some specifics.

When you make a retro car – trying to appeal to the strong nostalgia gene in nearly all of us – you are inevitably going to crash up against some of those old quirks that are no longer so endearing. Volkswagen was pretty successful in turning the old air-cooled Beetle into a modern, water-cooled version of the venerable VW Bug and, more important, they quietly eliminated the things that bothered us back then and would be worse in these times of ultra convenient automobiles. Mini didn’t go that route.

Instead, we have a car that has a harsh ride, so harsh that when it hits the inevitable pothole, the steering wheel wrenches in your hands. But that’s part and parcel in a car that has a number of quirks that, I think, few would find endearing.

Among them: the design of the interior. Early on, designers may have said to each other, let’s make this one different, let’s be creative. In the Mini Cooper Paceman, the result is a design that effectively changes the driving experience, and not for the better. The seats are hard and I found the driver’s seat difficult to get into a comfortable position. The seat itself was never comfortable; it was just a question of trying to get it in the right position, through a series of manually-operated levers. The sun visors are only marginally useful. The one in front of the driver is too small – there’s a gap on its left end that lets in plenty of low-riding sun; on the side visor, half of it uselessly covers the inside of the car’s roof, leaving only a couple of inches to sun-blocking duty. Besides, it’s mounted too high to do much good. For that matter, overall visibility is hampered by a cabin that feels closed in.

A note on the rear view mirror: the knob for changing day mirror to night mirror is smooth and round. You have to grip it tightly just to try and turn it. Why not a simple flip switch? More on switches and knobs: the HVAC temperature control is near the bottom of the center stack, next to its readout instrument. If you want to change temperature, your eye has to leave the road and travel way down, almost to the floor. One good idea in the switch department: Mini has finally moved the electric window switches from the center console area to the driver and passenger doors.

Yes, there is a speedometer in the Paceman; in fact, there are two, and both are a bit difficult to read. The first one, a small digital readout, is in the center of the tachometer (it’s also hard to read the tach’s numbers, by the way), directly in front of the driver. The second speedo is a red needle that creeps almost invisibly around the humongous round center-dash-mounted information screen. To read either speedometer, you have to take your eyes way off the road, particularly the center instrument.

This may not matter, largely because you won’t be driving that fast anyway. The Paceman has a turbocharged, 1.6-liter, 181-horsepower four-cylinder engine, a six-speed automatic (six-speed stick is available) and all-wheel-drive. It is not very fast. Its EPA mileage figures are 23/30 mpg city/highway.

According to its window sticker, this car started life at $28,500. By the time Mini had slapped on all the extras (leather seats, cold weather package, navigation, sunroof, alloy wheels and more) the price had risen to $39,800. That’s $200 shy of $40,000.

Even if the Paceman were half that price, I’d look for something else.