Hours into her Miss USA tenure, Rima Fakih has her first (low-grade) scandal: a "Stripper 101" crown in college. Meanwhile, creative right-wing haters are implying, in more ways than one, that she won because of a pro-Muslim, pro-immigrant conspiracy.

Rima Fakih, the first Arab-American Miss USA, won last night after saying birth control should be…
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First, the yawn-worthy "scandal": in college, Fakih won a pole-dancing competition, during which she did not strip. She did, however, exhibit some impressive leg muscles.

Meanwhile, neocon pundit Daniel Pipes wondered on his blog if there was some sort of affirmative action Muslim conspiracy:

They are all attractive, but this surprising frequency of Muslims winning beauty pageants makes me suspect an odd form of affirmative action.

Perhaps it was just an excuse for him to post some photos of some beautiful women. But then he updated, quoting a reader in agreement who said:

"No surprise here. Affirmative action was first applied in beauty contests for black women to win in the 1980s, then it was the turn of Latin, brown skinned women, and now it's Muslims. That's why most people ignore these rigged "events."

Thank god someone is looking out for those inherently unattractive black and brown-skinned women. Otherwise, who would ever think they were pretty?

Hatemongering radio host Debbie Schlussel accused Fakih, apparently without evidence, of having relatives in Hezbollah. "Now, Hezbollah has the chief USA bimbo," she wrote. "And they'll use it. I don't just wonder if this whole contest is rigged. I have a feeling that it is. Clearly, there is affirmative action for Muslim women in beauty pageants and other such 'contests.'"

Fox News was a little bit more subtle in its web account: it implied that Fakih beat out blonde Miss Oklahoma because the latter expressed support for the Arizona immigration law and "state's rights." Worse, the question was asked by Office actor Oscar Nuñez. Uh oh. Did you see who asked that question? And just look at that sad blonde woman!

She is so sad because the brown people are taking over. First they came for our racist immigration laws. Then they stole the Miss USA crown. Why do they hate America so much?

On Fox's morning show today, Gretchen Carlson — a former beauty pageant winner herself — wondered, too, whether anyone cared what these girls had to say about the issues. (Maybe that's because Miss USA is the Trump-owned, "trashier" offshoot, not like the totally legit one Carlson won.) But no matter what, she said, "a lot of people are going to parse this today" and wonder whether the Muslim-American won because of a "PC society" and discrimination against "well-informed," states' rights-loving conservatives.