Twisted Pair: Another Neil Breen Classic At Its Finest

For those new to this guy, Neil Breen is a Las Vegas real estate agent turned film director who produces some of the greatest B-movies of the age. It all began with his first feature film, Double Down (2005), which gained a cult following since its release. Breen’s resume today includes some of the most amazing – and I mean amazing – B-movies out there, including Fateful Findings (2013) and Pass Thru (2016). His latest film, Twisted Pair, saw a release in October 2018 and continues to fuel the fire of the Neil Breen fan cult.

Twisted Pair saw a DVD release in February of 2019, but if anyone is hoping to get it off Amazon or eBay, think again. Breen is likely aware of his status as one of the best worst directors of the age and does what anyone should do in the situation – capitalize on it. Twisted Pair can be found on his website, along with other copies of his films. If anyone’s looking for a good movie here, it won’t happen. Period. Forget about it, but if anyone wants a cheap laugh, then this is a go-to film on a rainy day.

Breen’s latest schlock hit follows a ‘pair’ of twins with supernatural – or biologically enhanced (I honestly don’t know) – powers. Breen plays both Cade and Cale Altair, who exhibit respective good guy and bad guy roles. Cade is a noble gentleman with a steady life as a mercenary saboteur of corporate bad guys. Cale shares the same occupation, but is addicted to drugs and uses more violent means to his ends. Together, the twins take on corrupt lawyers, accountants, and mobsters who are as flat and one-dimensional as any Captain Planet villain. The Good Breen/Bad Breen conflict spirals out of control – and takes the film with it.

Anyone familiar with Breen’s films will notice the usual variables. Breen serenades his film with deathly monotone exposition amid a plethora of stock footage and oddly placed images serving as filler until the next scene. The protagonist is a supernatural vigilante who takes on corporate bigwigs and ushers in a left-of-center utopia following their extermination. Oh, and Breen makes sure to pair himself up with a significantly beautiful female love interest – played by Sara Merritt – who tries her best to appear interested in the sickly-looking Breen. The only difference between this film and previous Breen films is that Merritt actually tries with her craft, giving a relatively decent performance, which is 100% not characteristic with Neil Breen movies.

Am I going to go through the film’s strengths and weaknesses? Not really. The weaknesses far outweigh the strengths – or in this case, the only one strength – of this film. It has its moments of hilarity which kill any boredom that might ensue, but otherwise, it’s a raging fire that cannot be put out.

The only strength with Neil Breen’s film is quite similar to what the great Tommy Wiseau did with The Room (2003). While The Room can be seen as an unintentional takedown of the superficiality of Hollywood drama films, Breen’s film(s) provide an antithesis to the overly-hyped mercenary-for-hire/vigilante agent films seen today in American theaters.

American culture has always championed the idea of a lone warrior setting out to right the wrongs of society, if not the world. Twisted Pair efficiently reflects this part of American culture, but provides unintentional satire. The All-American hero is a noticeably aged Neil Breen who either makes his enemies think about their actions or makes them pay for it. He is not a stocky, barrel-chested figure like Matt Damon or Chuck Norris. He’s so aged and withered that it makes him 100% average. Any audience can – and will – laugh at Neil Breen’s mediocrity, but they will easily be able to project themselves into what he’s trying to accomplish.

Making a film is not easy, no matter how much money you have. It’s safe to say most attempts to create a truly good movie fail. Breen fails across the board, but he gives us something worth laughing at and enjoying. In this respect, Breen accomplishes his mission when it comes to the most basic tenant of producing a film: providing entertainment.