Saturday, December 12, 2009

Mema

This was the honorary title given to the Spice’s Mom when her first grandchild – our OD – was born. She was also known as such by our YD and the two daughters of the Spice’s bro. The title continued as the great-grands came along – our six and BIL’s three. My two daughters basically felt like she hung the moon and there wasn’t anything she couldn’t do – and there wasn’t a lot she wouldn’t do for her grands.

Before she was Mema I knew her as the Mom of the first girl I ever kissed – the girl that today is my wife and the Spice of my life. Our family moved to the Augusta area in 1949 and a few years later I started seeing the Spice’s family at church. A few years after that I started to notice that girls were different from boys, a fact of which I greatly approved – although I was scared witless of this “fairer sex”.

The future Spice and I started dating sometime in 1957 and I got to know the future Mema a little better and held her in the highest esteem. Through a misunderstanding with the future Spice, I fell to the bottom of her dating list but I still came around to chat with Mema when I had a chance. Then came HS graduation and with the army draft looming in my mind, I chose to join this branch of the military for 3 years.

Mema and my Mom had been friends for years and both wrote to me – Mema would notify my Mom when she got a letter from me and vise-versa. The Spice would write me polite letters because it was expected of civilians to write to service men they knew. My wondrous army experience concluded in 1962 and I started coming around again to chat with my future MIL. She was like an older sister and we talked of many things.

During this time the Spice would hardly give me the time of day. It seemed that her best friend had claims on me, feelings that were not mutual – and the Spice would not trespass. When I shared with Mema about a new girl I was seeing, she passed this along to her daughter, along with the advice that if she wanted to see me she had best get a move on in that direction. This happened and we were wed June of 1963.

Five years later our oldest daughter came along and the title of Mema was given to the Spice’s Mom. She carried the title well and joyfully through the other three grands and all nine “greats”. Then Mema had to journey through the passing of her life-long companion in March of 2006. Then almost imperceptibly her health started to wane also – although it happened slowly until this year.

In April of this year Mema went into the hospital, and then until September she was back and forth from the “skilled nursing facility” to hospital. Then we purchased a hospital bed and she came to our house. It was then back and forth from here to hospital until November 16th when they sent her home because they could do nothing more for her. On November 17th she was put on hospice until her passing on November 24th.

The day of her death was her 85th birthday and although she couldn’t respond, several had called to wish her happy birthday and the phone would be held up to her ear. Our oldest daughter had just sung happy birthday to her by phone when she breathed her last – OD’s voice was probably the last human one she heard on this earth. Her passing has left a large void in all of our lives but God is faithful to comfort.

In the 46 plus years the Spice and I have been married – and even before that – I have known Mema as a godly woman and faithful Christian and we are looking forward to seeing her again on a day of our Lord’s choosing. Even in the sadness of our loss I say with heartfelt conviction – God is still good, all the time! ec