Take a few deep breaths, Pebble. Try to pay attention to them as you breathe.

These thoughts and feelings that are getting you down, they will pass. They are already changing now.

You have what it takes to set the course of your life to what you wish. As you say, exercise, eat healthy, don't smoke, don't indulge these negative thoughts. Step by step you will leave them far behind.

Go see a doctor. If you're broke, check into social services. You might qualify for some sort of medical assistance. Even if you have to pay some money, do it anyways, it's your health and you need to take care of it.

Also, keep looking for a job. This is the worst economy I've ever seen, but there are still jobs to be had out there, just don't give up.

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." -- C. S. Lewis

I agree with poto.Go and see a doctor. Your anxiety/depression needs assessment and possibly treatment. But let a trained clinician assist you with that.You may also find telephone counselling via the befrienders to offer you some valuable assistance and referral:http://www.befrienders.org/index.aspAll the best,

Ben

“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.” - Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:in mountain clefts and chasms,loud gush the streamlets,but great rivers flow silently.- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Panic attacks are not uncommon. It doesn't mean you're dying (even if it feels like it). It will pass. Many years ago I was in a not-disimilar position. You will find a job - for now, aim a bit lower. Your anxiety and mental health issues will pass. You will develop confidence and robustness. Keep practising, get the advice of a doctor. You might want to see if you can get referred onto a CBT or mindfulness-based therapy for your panic attacks. There are also drugs that can be prescribed that may help (although I think of these are relieving symptoms rather than geting to the roots of the problem).