Holy Shit, that was crazy. First Dwight says he’s going to Houston, then he’s going back to LA, then he’s 50/50 on LA and Houston, then he’s meeting with Kupchak, then he’s not meeting with Kupchak, now he’s going to Houston…for real this time. Dwightmare. Dwightgate. Dwightpocalypse. It’s over. He’s chosen to play for the Houston Rockets. Not really a shocker I suppose. Kobe was basketball’s version of Joan Crawford. He even reportedly told Dwight during his recent meeting with the Lakers…”Let me teach you how to be a champion…” What a prick! If Dwight didn’t already have his mind made up about leaving I’m sure that helped nudge him out the door. Leaving the Lakers shouldn’t have really been a tough decision however. Kobe won’t be back until February, maybe. Steve Nash is decrepit. And D’Antoni…Oh D’Antoni. He’s got all the coaching savvy of banana pudding.

Dallas got a seat at the Dwight poker table. Problem is, our their main pitch was something along the lines of, “Hey Dirk is old, but he’s ready to hand over the keys to the franchise. And in 2014, we’ll have a microscopic chance to get Lebron, maybe…probably not………PLEASE COME TO DALLAS!!!... DON’T MAKE ME GO ALL DANNY AINGE ON THE MAVS……….. DWIGHT!!!......
DWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!” The Warriors looked like they were about to land Dwight, but suddenly remembered they were the Warriors. Good things never happen to them. They went ahead and signed Andre Iguodala. And the Hawks, HA…their meeting probably lasted all of five minutes.

Mark Cuban's Plan B

Now Howard teams up with James Harden. It made sense. Harden is a rising star, Kevin McHale is a player’s coach, and I’m sure Hakeem Olajuwon promised free post move lessons for life. The spotlight won’t be nearly as bright in Houston. And I don’t think I’ve ever heard James Harden speak. He should slide right in without any problems. In fact, McHale is probably the best type of coach for Dwight. He’ll do whatever he has to in order to make him happy. If Dwight says, he needs more touches; he’ll get ‘em. If Dwight says they need to slow the game down; they’ll play at a snail’s pace. If Dwight says he needs extra back rubs on Tuesdays; McHale will be standing there, body oil in hand.

I'm gonna have to cut practice short today. Dwight needs someone to wash his car.

The Houston has a really fast paced offense, but more than likely they’ll slow it down to accommodate Howard. The Harden/Howard pick n roll combo should be deadly in half court situations. Chandler Parson is able to shoot the three, which will help spread the floor. And it looks like they are putting the finishing touches on a deal to bring back Francisco Garcia. They’ll need to sign or trade for a few more perimeter snipers in order to take advantage on their inside game. I’m hearing rumors that Houston may try to get Josh Smith from Atlanta in a sign and trade. That would make sense seeing as how Omer Asik has made it be known he has no intentions of playing behind Dwight Howard. Yes, Omer Asik has demanded a trade. I think there should be some ground rules in place before guys can demand trades. Like, I shouldn’t have to Google your name in order to remember what your face looks like. Just saying.

I just want to belong.

One this if for certain, there are no more excuses. Dwight chose this team, and in a sense the coach and the teammates. His disappointing season Los Angeles will be a distant memory if he can return to superstar form. Winning is not an option, but an expectation. Make no mistake; his legacy is at stake here. Whether it’s fair or not, a player’s greatness is measure in rings. The ball is in Dwight’s court. Let’s see if he can step up to the challenge.