Snoop Dogg Changes Name to Snoop Lion After ‘Spiritual Awakening’ in Jamaica

Snoop Dogg went to Jamaica to re-invent himself and record a reggae album. He ended up having a “spiritual awakening” with Rastafarian priests who renamed him Snoop Lion. I want to start cracking jokes about this, I really do, but I can’t say anything that will come close to the Snoopmeister himself. So Instead I’ll quote Snoop Lion at length:

I want to bury Snoop Dogg, and become Snoop Lion. I didn’t know that until I went to the temple, where the High Priest asked me what my name was, and I said, ‘Snoop Dogg.’ And he looked me in my eyes and said, ‘No more. You are the light; you are the lion.’ From that moment on, it’s like I had started to understand why I was there. I have always said I was Bob Marley reincarnated. I feel I have always been a Rastafari. I just didn’t have my third eye open, but its wide open right now.

Glorious. Just glorious. I love you, Snoop. I know you’re talking about how you just changed so much and all, but … well, never change. In these tough economic times where people are truly struggling, it’s so nice to have you around to distract us from all that with your exquisite words. You’re a saint.