‘Kejriwal Explained’ – A Quick Essay For IT Professionals

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A lot of armchair rebellions working in the IT industry have fallen in love with AAP’s Arvind Kejriwal. I thought I’d write this quick essay to help you understand Kejriwal in the language / situations that you’d understand. If this essay fails to convince you that you’ve got it wrong, blame your tiny brain.

Once upon a time, there was an IT company; say “India Software Corporation” aka ISC. ISC was several decade old and was run by Gandhi family. ISC was debt ridden and was on the verge of bankruptcy because of the corruption happening in almost every business unit. The employee morale was all time down and they saw no hope. Almost everyone had thought that the company would die eventually and many of them were already leaving for other companies that offered a promising future.

The only fix for the situation was to replace the family that kept the control in their hands for decades and bring in a fresh board, with a CEO who could take decisions and implement them. The Gandhi family however did not want to lose control of the company. They started drafting a master game plan – a plan that’d keep the power in their hands.

They spotted a young, bright IIT graduate who had just joined the company – Mr. Kejriwal. Kejriwal’s personality was unique. Instead of coming to the office on his Pulsar, he’d ride his bicycle. He’d wear sandals instead of shoes and he’d sport a muffler no matter what the temperature was. On the top of that, he’d always cough to create an impression that he was a poor-little-fella who couldn’t do anything wrong in life. The Gandhi family got Kejriwal’s confidence and the game plan began!

In the first stage, Kejriwal would protest against the Gandhi management and expose their corruption. He’d go out of ways to tell all the employees how Gandhi family was the epicenter of all the bad things happening in the company. Naturally, every employee sided with Kejriwal and Kejriwal soon became ‘The Man’ to replace Gandhi family from company’s control.

…and that’s exactly what the Gandhi family wanted! They essentially wanted their own enemy.

All the employees unanimously promoted Kejriwal to the post of business unit head to end corruption in the unit and show the rest of the company how a business unit head should perform.

Kejriwal got into action, a la Anil Kapoor in Nayak. The first thing he did was to offer on-site opportunity to every employee who wanted it. He also offered unlimited leaves to the employees and also doubled their salaries; without openly telling people that the hike was meant for 3 months only. Every employee was happy, without even caring that all the remaining funds in the company’s accounts were drying and the company would die even faster death.

Kejriwal quickly realised that head of business unit is still a smaller game to play. He decided that he’d eye for the post of CEO; no matter what happens to the company. He immediately quit the post and began asking all the other business units and employees to vote for him for the post of CEO. It’d been just a few days since he became the business head and now he was dreaming of CEO’s post! People who voted for him were now confused – just they way Gandhi family planned.

In the meanwhile….

There was an alternative emerging. His name was Modi. Modi had been with the company for long time and had several years of experience in delivering performance. He was the one Gandhi family really hated because they knew that Modi had all the guts to remove Gandhi family from the board. The sole aim of the Gandhi family was to eliminate Modi; which almost seemed impossible.

…and Kejriwal was ‘the plan’ that Gandhi family was executing to stop Modi.

Seeing Modi’s emergence as the top contender for the post of CEO; Kejriwal suddenly stopped finding faults with the Gandhi family. He began targeting Modi at every damn stage or cubicle he could find.

Kejriwal made following promises to the people:

1. That if he becomes the CEO, all employees would have a say in company’s decisions like Whether to enter a new business domain, whether the company should accept a project, what should be the target for the company. Employees knew nothing; but they felt empowered!

2. Kejriwal and his team mates would allow the employees of any business unit whether they wanted to move out of company and run the unit as a separate company. They promised referendums on decisions to keep all the business units together.

3. Other than having employee involvement in all the key decisions of the company, Kejriwal had no other vision to run the company.

As of now, Kejriwal continues to draw the support of people who think Kejriwal’s 100% right and Modi, even with his proven track record is an evil monster.

Whether the company will collapse or have a ray of hope will be decided on 16th of May, 2014.

I am not a great fan of conspiracy theories. I would rather focus on knowing the reality than making up stuff.
I don’t have a point of opinion on Kejriwal or Modi or Congress, nevertheless , If your conspiracy theory is right , then Congress is paying a huge price of loosing power , for being in power. what an irony!