Tuesday, 26 April 2016

YAY!! Spring looks like it may have finally sprung and summer on it’s way! I know this because:

A: the first chink of light at 4 in morn prompts the cats into *GET UP YOU FILTHY APE!* action

B: I’ve been able to take my cardy off briefly for 5 minutes a day and

C: everything in my garden is approximately 8 1/2 foot tall….which means I’ve got no excuse now and have to tackle it!

Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE gardening, I’m just not particularly good at it. I do try, and like to think I’m all organic and wildlife friendly…that’s my excuse for the 9ft nettles and borders full of bindweed (Monty Don said leave a *bit* for the wildlife) but it’s a hit and miss affair with me and I am prone to being a bit over enthusiastic on the pruning front. He brought me a saw last year (he’s all heart). Within half an hour the place was reduced to a series of stumps; he reckoned it looked like a scene from The Terminator after the nuclear bomb went off.

Himself alas, not so much on the gardening. Quite honestly I’m not entirely sure he knows where it is? He is a back seat gardner though and will happily point out what needs doing, what’s wrong with it and and why I shouldn’t be allowed sharp objects. He also has the job of filling up the bird feeders and baths and he’s having a right fit of the vapours about my latest endeavours.

Bee hotels. I made one last year, which granted did look more like a clapped out b&b as opposed to the elegant hotels on Pintrest, but the bees obviously weren’t that fussy and it was fully booked by end of the summer.

Unfortunately lack of time and any discernible diy talent drove to me to our local Morrisons this year where they are selling much nicer ones for £3.00, so I’ve stocked up.

But oh the moaning! “It’s bad enough I’ve got to feed the elfin’ birds without having to run the gauntlet of a wall of effin’ bees and a border of effin’ stinging nettles!* ….I ignored him and chopped down an unsuspecting triffid.

Anyhow in the spirit of all things garden/bee/insect related I’ve been working on these little chaps!

BZZZZ!!

A busy, buzzy bumble bee! Watercolour bee doing his thing on an abstract flower! Shades of purples, lilacs and warm yellows with all sorts of splishy-splashy stuff going on!

The flower centre (technical garden term) is hand embroidered with French knots in yellow, orange and metallic gold embroidery silks.

Comes with his own incredibly cute white box frame. Overall framed, he measures approx 11cm x 10cm and is currently available on my Etsy shop here :> ETSY

Next bee please!

Another little fella this time he's having a go at some hand stitched lavender!

This one has now sold and i'm delighted to say it's gone to live with a bee keeper...thank you! :)

Righto, secateurs sharpened, wheelbarrow at the ready, cardy off...bring it on Titchmarsh!

Saturday, 12 March 2016

So. He’s got himself a new video game…**insert rolling eyes/ head shake here**..some sort of shoot ‘em up war type thing.

Not a problem per se as we go through this periodically; possibly in an attempt to re-capture his childhood, but I’m never unduly bothered as a combination of poor eyesight, deaf as a post and a case of severe tennis elbow invariably means it’s all over and done with fairly quickly.

I knew this time was no exception as it took him 2 weeks to get off the training level, because he immediately fell out of the helicopter as soon as it started and then killed 2 of his own men.

He finally got to grips with not falling out of the helicopter and arrived at level one where he spent most of his time wandering around empty rooms completely bewildered and at a loss of what to do and an awful lot of hiding behind crates and bashing at walls in case there was *hidden stuff*.

Pretty much every time I went past his desperate, hunched up figure on the computer there was frantic mouse action and much panicking swiftly followed by a side view of the scene where he’d fallen over/been killed again.

I don’t really know why he bothers with them really as it’s pretty much what an average day is like for him anyway (sans immediately falling out of helicopter) and I fully anticipate it being back on Ebay by tomorrow evening.

Anyway! What have I been up to I optimistically hear you ask?!
Well, I’ve recently noticed I’ve got quite a lot of rappers following me on Twitter, which amuses me no end cos I’m sure if they could see me trudging around in pink cat print pyjamas, tea in hand and struggling to thread a needle then they’d be hitting the *unfollow* button pretty sharpish! ;0)

But as a little nod to my new homies and to prove that I am also down with the kidz I have been working on these little fellas!

I do hope this is the only watercolour blue tit painting with hand embroidery and hip-hop luminary Jay-Z you see today??

Sunday, 14 February 2016

So we’ve been married for 20yrs, in the early Valentine days it was all so lovely; himself used to buy me little trinkets, even wrote me poetry. I painted him pictures, made mixed tapes (yes THAT long ago!) and lavished him with attention…it was borderline boho, although we stopped short of prancing around the garden in chiffon butterfly outfits.

Fast forward a few decades. I still paint him pictures and if you count cutting what’s left of his hair, then yes, I do still *lavish* attention on him, but the past 4 Valentines have tried my patience somewhat.

I have received: secateurs, wellies, a bowsaw and gardening gloves respectively…this year I got an incinerator….I was holding out for an industrial shredder to make getting rid of the body parts easier!!!

Fortunately for him I’m not a bitter woman, but I have poked him in the loft this morning to look for random items that I don’t really require!

So in the spirit of all things Valentiney ...meet my Love Rat!! :)

A wee watercolour ratty all trembly and wonky lipped in anticipation of your adoration!

Soft shades in pinks, blues and lilacs with splishy-sploshy bits and pencil marks still visible.

Sunday, 31 January 2016

Ey up my bloggy chums! I know…another post, almost becoming regular eh…trust me I’m as surprised as you are!

So it’s been a productive month work wise for me, which is something of an achievement as on top of looking after Grany No.1 I’ve been tending to her mate and neighbour Granny No.2. The woman is deaf as a post at the best of times but has had significant ear’ole issues since Christmas which has involved several trips to Doc’s and a gallon of olive oil.

Conversations between the pair of them are *interesting* at the best of times but now it’s all conducted at decibel 9 although curiously they can both hear the click of a kettle going on!

Anyway in amongst all of it i’ve been painting and stitching like the wind and though you might like to see my little robin who is currently winging his way to New York to take part in the Twitter Art Exhibit.

The exhibition is a fabulous event and open to all professional and amateur artists working in 2D medium. I took part in last years which was based in Sweden and this year the event takes place in New York.

From the website:

"Twitter Art Exhibit: NYC is the sixth installment of an open international exhibition of handmade postcard art for charity, donated by hundreds of participating artists from around the globe.

Social media plays a major role in Twitter Art Exhibit. It is our intention to tweet, share, seed and promote our artists to thank them for their participation, and to make this event a huge success.

The event will be highly publicized and well attended by art buyers and enthusiasts, members of the press, local artists and the community, as well as by the staff of Foster Pride and the young people they support."

This is my entry and is a particular favourite theme of mine!

Sorry but sometimes these things just have to be done...stitchy Batman and POW!

Stitchy details...

Watercolour and hand embroidery on textured watercolour postcards by Hahnemuehle.

This is an annual art exhibition for charity and is open to all artists, details of the exhibition can be found here if you’d like to join in!

I've been working on the postcards a lot lately and the following were Christmas gifts for my very special friends...

For Diane Tinker-Foster, THE soldering Queen of UK. Diane will be holding her treasure token workshops at Hope and Elvis soon and I seriously recommend you to check them out!

For Tina Gilmore from Indigo Moon Workshops. Visit her fabulous shop for all things vintage and glorious and sign up for a workshop too: featuring artists such as Marna Lunt, Jessica Chorley and HensTeeth!

Well I hope you all had a wonderful and peaceful Christmas. I did request a new sat nav off Santa this year on account of the fact mine has a severe attitude problem and I'm fairly convinced is programmed by a surly 18yr old who really can't be arsed.Mainly cos it routinely dumps me 4 miles from any given destination with a vague 'that'll do', leaving me to grab a passing granny and hope to God she knows where she is (fortunately the most recent one in a Morrison's carpark did, but it did involve me waiting for her to load up her shopping and then follow her as my destination was just past her mum's house...bless!)To ask for directions back to home is way too much too hope for as I clearly know where I've been so should bloody well know how to get back. Suffice it to say Santa obviously mis-read my vague *I would like a new sat nav" hint and got me a fluffy dressing gown instead...although in all fairness I probably do spend more time in that than the car, so swings and roundabouts....Anyhow! Himself has recovered and the bruising is fading and most of what I got him is currently on eBay so all in that counts as a fairly normal Christmas for us.Right witter over lets start the new year with a reptile eh! I bring you a Karma Chameleon! :)

I've had this in my head for a while now...our little green chum sits a-top a huge stitchy “Karma” which nearly didn’t get finished on account of the fact stitching through canvas with glittery metallic thread is the sewing equivalent of scraping nails down a blackboard.

Keeping him company is a big fat jolly Buddha nestling in a glorious pink lotus stitchy flower. He's holding a tiddly Peace symbol in one hand and tiny glittery beads in his other.

A wee grasshopper in case he gets peckish and shedloads of leaves, grasses and so forth. A little John Lennon portrait stitch sketch nestles in his curly tail with the lyrics from the fabulous Instant Karma: "And we all shine on. Like the moon and the stars and the sun!"Also features the Karma symbol and little glittery stars.

Choc full on teeny-weeny stitches, a positive cascade of leaves, French knots and tonnes of texture, despite the teeth being on edge through most of it, I really had fun working on him!

If you fancy a bit of reptilian nonsense to brighten up your wall prints of this are available; will be posted via Royal Mail though, I can’t deliver in person as the sat nav will be off having a fag.

Righto I’ve eaten my body weight in trifle, the dekkies are back in the loft and I’ll be hoovering up frigging lametta for the next 6 months so I shall bid you farewell for now and try to muster up another post soon! :)

Sunday, 5 April 2015

Ey up my bloggy chums! A supremely Happy Easter to you all…I have woken from choccy egg/celebration trifle coma to bring Easter cheer, well it is for us; kitty not so much…

So about 5 days ago Gloria one of the kitty gitbags, brought in a live mouse and dumped it in our living room, presumably saving for a rainy day play snack.

She has spent a full on vigil by the step it went under, pausing only to run outside, The Flash style, for a quick wee and then fly back in as fast, without stopping for her usual screech hello to get back to it.

I too have spent all that time trying to catch it with our humane mouse trap (it sees a lot of action).

I finally got it today and let it go.

This is her reaction....

*YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE!!!!*

This coupled with the humiliation of the JML Christmas gift still festering in background, I'm fully expecting a kitty armageddon; she doesn't take these things well...she's already menacing the mother-in-law!

In between p*ssing the cat off I have been a-painting and a-stitching like the wind though so thought I'd show you these before she wreaks revenge on them!

In keeping with the general Eastery vibe...BOING! A wee bunny popping up to see what's occurring!

I've also added a tiny appliqué busy, buzzy bumblebee to keep her company!

And this wee fella...

(hot pre-titchy action shot)

Ever so slightly grumpy bunny now stitched! The look on his face is not dissimilar to Mr.Mimi's face when I ask him to run the hoover round. A positive bun-fest with 2 tiny stitchy buns hiding behind a big gold stitchy leaf. Also features sprig of stems and leaves and French knots a-plenty. Watercolour on paper with hand embroidery.

NEXT BUNNY PLEASE....

Another curious wee chappy, joined by another appliquéd bumble bee. Embroidery features wee glittery gold French knots and a sprig of stems and leaves in blues and glorious contrasting red.

Watercolour on paper with hand embroidery.

And last but not least!

Slight variation on a theme, another bunny gazing up at an appliqué bumbly bee...(it might be the same one mooching from one bun to another!) A bright cheery sprig of stems and leaves and grasses. Watercolour on paper with hand embroidery.

Sunday, 1 February 2015

(Desperately hoping no-one will notice it’s been 2 months since last update!)

Ey up my bloggy chums! I do hope 2015 is treating you well thus far? Still no bloody jetpacks/flying cars…damn you 1970’s and all your broken promises!

So one of the many arguments we had over Christmas involved quantum physics. If you’re anything like me you will have glazed over immediately already. I was forced to watch some programme on BBC where some bloke tried to prove that nothing exists if we don’t look at it (it was probably bit more involved than that but I lost the will to live within 2 mins of it being on).

I simply pointed out that BBC could’ve saved matey a fortune on all the lasers, computer programmes and mind numbing equations by coming round here with the latest JML Cats Meow *amazing* rotating cat toy that I got rinsed 15quid for (at his insistence), and sticking it in front of our kitties, who not only ignored it, but by the *blank stare into distance/nothing to see here* looks on all faces, actually denied it’s very existence, even when it was poking them vigorously on their collective bums!

The conversation quickly spiralled into a supernova of a shouting match with me telling him to get Stephen Hawking, Brian Cox and the team behind the Hadron Collider to come round here and explain to me why I’m the only b*&£$*@ in this place who can put the frigging wheelie bin out on a Tuesday?!

Igonring a JML rotating cat toy is this abstract tabby in shades of deep blue/greys and purple, soft pinks, delicate lilac and yellows with glorious green eyes. Watercolour on paper.

Fallen over on his back as is so disgusted at JML rotating cat toy is this abstract tabby gazes up at the world also in shades of deep blue/greys and purple, soft pinks, delicate lilac and yellows with glorious green eyes. Watercolour on paper.

This is pretty much the look of *if I can't see a JML rotating cat toy, it obviously doesn't exist* in shades of deep blue/greys and purples with warm yellow/orange eyes. Watercolour on paper.

Me: "Look. It rotates and everything!" Cat: *singing the Meow Mix song in it's head whilst admiring the coving*. Beautiful fluffy kitty in shades of cobalt blue, deep blue/grey and turquoises with flashes of soft apricot tones and striking orange/yellow eye.

Watercolour on paper.

And last but not least a Siamese kitty gazing up at the sky as there's an outside chance that it's owner will give up in despair as she has done with EVERY SINGLE CAT TOY EVER and remove the offending rotating JML cat toy and hits the Gin.

Watercolour on paper.

These furry feline fellas are all watercolour on paper and available over on my website shop and the good news is one lucky purchaser will receive an *amazing* rotating cat toy completely free with their purchase…unused…except the box…they love the box.