today has started swimmingly
i picked the wrong seat on a train, sat opposite a drunk asshole who couldn't keep his drink or himself on his side of the table. ended up with me asking him to stop throwing booze over me and heckling the girl three seats back, first nicely, then firmly, him hitting my laptop, and me completely losing my shit and shaking him like a terrier shaking a rat whils bellowing at him. not too proud of that one tbh.what last made you lose your temper?

One of my friends acting like a bitch last night, then trying to tell me to be nice around my ex with my new missus
I pointed out that I'd be more than happy to if between the two of them they hadn't been bitching about the new girl the entire night.

skips is only allowed
if you buy the multipack, then empty all the little packs into the outer wrapper forming one uber-bag.
(UppityDamnPrimateLET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:06,
Reply)

Someone said something on the internet and it was srs biz so I threw my laptop at the wall and it smashed
My morning was ruined weeks ago

Crisps have to be made from slices of potato. Any of these maize based snacks and stuff made from reformed potato can fuck right off. Also AA is quite clearly a Bent Spastic Nonce because Cheese and Onion crisps are ace. I like mature chedder and red onion crisps.
(PhillieJoehttps://voat.co/v/psychochomprulez, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:12,
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also noteworthy: i fucking hate when brands try to justify the pricing by going 'it's NOT a cheese and onion, it's mature red leicester and shallot' or 'maldon sea salt and balsamic vinegar strained through the minge-hair of nubile virgins' call a spade a spade ffs.
(UppityDamnPrimateLET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:16,
Reply)

Cheese and onion crisps are for spastics, nonces, both of the above, and those who stay in a loveless marriage.

*confused*
I'm definitely me. At least I was this morning when I got up.
(localboypurveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:34,
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I thought it was freefair too
until he mentioned his kid.
(KroneyFellow of The Bent Poetry School for Bent Poets, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:23,
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It's all bollocks

(SteveFrenchCardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:30,
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Last lost my temper with the local dickhead/village idiot.
Alt:Realising I'd not sent an email I promised yesterday - good news is the recipient wasn't able to pick it up before this morning anyway - phew!Alt Alt:Chicken and stuffing flavour - especially when in a sandwich *drools*
(Captain PlacidJe suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:15,
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Not much today. In a pretty chipper mood.
Although I guarantee dealing with estate agents again later will make me lose all faith in humanity.
(Barry from Eastendersis, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:16,
Reply)

Nah. Stuff with work.
Although I will be moving that way in twelve months. And I am in Clapton as I type.
(Barry from Eastendersis, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:26,
Reply)

Don't lose faith in humanity because you have to deal with Estate Agents!
Remember, Estate Agents aren't human, they're made from rotting baboon anuses held together with lies and deceit. That's why they wear so much aftershave - to kill the smell of festering primate sphincter.
(Captain PlacidJe suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:20,
Reply)

Fry and Laurie's estate agents sketch is one of their finest.
'Simon Flaccid here'
(Monty Boyce,My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:25,
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Alt: I believe I may have mentioned before, I'm not having a great morning.
alt alt: Walkers do a big bag called Crunchy, I think. The blue ones of those are fantastic. I think they're sour cream and onion, or something.
(b3thNot shit. Not mod., Fri 18 May 2012, 11:23,
Reply)

Not lost my temper for sometime actually.
And it would probably have been with my ex girlfriend who I dumped in January. I have been a model of calmness ever since.

i referenced viz this week in work
nobody got my finbarr saunders gag.the person in question wrote 'mascot beat off some stiff competition, and came first'ffs.
(UppityDamnPrimateLET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:38,
Reply)

Was his name Mr Gimlett, by any chance?
"I'm going away today Finbarr, and I'm going to give your mother a lift. OH YES, YOUR MOTHER'S GOING TO OLDHAM AND I'M GOING TO BANGOR AS FAST AS I CAN."
(Reverend Fister"a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 18 May 2012, 11:44,
Reply)

In the 17th century
Cromwell's puritan movement banned raffles following a typo in a parliamentary decree. They actually wanted to ban ruffles on clothing, because they deemed them to be decadent royalist trappings unsuited to the sober outlook of their faith.

To this day, there are parts of Derbyshire in which you can be hanged merely for mentioning raffles.

Well, yes, I agree that most people seem to have no fucking idea how to raise civilised children
but it would be nice to think they learn it from their family and not through state-sponsored stating-the-bloody-obvious lessons.

Then again, childrearing is hardly my area of expertise, and it's not something I ever want to have anything to do with.
(b3thNot shit. Not mod., Fri 18 May 2012, 11:41,
Reply)

It would be nice for that to happen, but not everyone has a family.
And also "how it's always been done" isn't the same as the best advice available at the moment. You wouldn't have farmers using the same technique through generations and that practice is nearly as old as child raising.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:44,
Reply)

Like I said, I'm not personally involved in the process
so I don't really have any idea how it should be done.
(b3thNot shit. Not mod., Fri 18 May 2012, 11:48,
Reply)

You're rubbish
need some mothers back on here to get all angry about it. Where's Chicken lady when you need her.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 May 2012, 11:51,
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Not lost it for ages, think a funeral and a shit of a relative. Alcohol involved, obviously.
Alt, nothing really, although I am saddened by the passing of Donna Summer. I Feel Love, bit of a 12" classic from my much younger skool disco years.Alt alt, I used to like the Salt 'n' shake ones.Not sure if they're still around.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged.Halloween is coming to town., Fri 18 May 2012, 11:36,
Reply)

I'm pretty sure they are still around
but these days they're Walkers instead of Smiths.
(b3thNot shit. Not mod., Fri 18 May 2012, 11:42,
Reply)