Let's face it - when it comes to bullies, there is always a reason lying behind why they are so aggressive. There are many excuses behind it all, and many of those excuses are sad as well. Some reasons maybe be depression, feeling unpopular, wanting attention, thinking they're better than you, impressing others and so much more. But the truth is, they want you to be angry, embarrassed, hurt, and sad. Read this article to teach you how to deal with their behavior.

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Steps

1

Be certain that the bully is picking on you. Try to avoid them; go to a spot where they'd like to remain out of sight. If they follow you and float around until you enter "bully grounds", then you'll know that they're picking on you.

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2

Take a friend with you everywhere. Make sure you're never alone. Start talking to your friend when you see the bully is near, and make it look like you're fully engrossed in the conversation. Depending on how many bullies or how powerful the bully, you may need to gang up in groups with other victims for a while. There's safety in numbers.

3

Look the bully in the eye. Doing this shows that you're confident, and are laughing at them inside yourself. If you give a certain look, they might back down. The last thing any bully wants is to look like an idiot picking on someone who's got nerves of steel.

4

Never retaliate! If you do say anything, the bully will tend to use this against you and make you look like the bad seed. And besides, you could end up with a black eye. Remember the mild, gentle manner of the wise Asian elder in any martial art movie. Come off with that kind of confidence, as if their insults were only birds twittering and don't mean a thing to you. Treating them politely and gently when they're insulting you will take a lot of the punch out of the joke for onlookers too. It saves your dignity. It's what they mean when adults say "just ignore them." Most adults don't think about how hard it is to do this, but training yourself to be capable of handling any insults without an emotional reaction is possible. It's something people learn in military basic training. Why drill sergeants constantly insult recruits is to teach them the difference between pointless words and real threats. When you respond like that soldier, you have made your silence a threat to the bully. You're far scarier than if you just got mad.

5

Continue avoiding the bully and tell a trusted adult. Eventually, the bully may get bored and find another victim. However, this technique doesn't always work. The best thing to do is tell a trusted adult. Don't be afraid that the bully might call you a "snitch" for "ratting" him out. It's not right for anyone to feel humiliated or uncomfortable.

6

Complain to the authorities. In some countries, bullying can be considered an offense. Go to the nearest police station and ask for information. Don't be afraid to file a formal complaint. Understand that, if you are being bullied, you have the right to complain to the authorities, without feeling guilty.

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Tips

Don't back down, stand your ground!

Always look them straight in the eye.

Don't give them any pleasure by showing you're hurt.

If they are physically hurting you tell an adult immediately! Don't feel stupid, because they're counting on all victims to cover up for them. You're enabling them to do it again and teaching them that's the way to get ahead in life. If they continue to bully through their life they can end up as a criminal doing much worse things like killing people or stealing from a bank and the world surely doesn't need any more criminals. Or they become the kind of boss that no one wants to work for, ruining hundreds of lives in adult life. You can put a stop to that by standing up for yourself and making sure they get negative consequences.

Try not to make yourself a bully target in the first place. Bullies usually go after the "social outcast", because they're almost certain nobody will object if they insult them. If you are outcast for reasons you can't control, such as ethnic background, "race," sexuality, obesity, looks, physical maturity or lack of it, disability or severe acne, start looking at all the other social outcasts as natural allies. Reach out to them. Once you have a group of friends you're no longer an outcast.

Just remember: all they want is a reaction. Don't give them what they want! Many of them are sadistic - what they want is for you to be hurt, to be afraid, to cry, to suffer. That's a real motivation in itself. Not giving them that reaction may encourage them in some situations, but if you can pull it off before they start in on you at all, it may warn them off completely.

The best way to do this is coolly, calmly, and make sure you confuse them, not just insult them. For example, if they comment on your appearance, politely ask if they have come with ideas and solutions on how to fix said "problem." They won't expect this.

If you do decide you want to retaliate, if it looks like there will be a fight, think first. Physically fighting back should always be a last resort. Running away or attracting attention from onlookers is better.

Fight fire with kindness, smile at them and make them feel horrible about themselves.

Avoid them by any means necessary.

Warnings

Most children consider it a form of self-defense to keep the crime or other abuse a secret. In some situations, it can be and should be carefully considered. However, more often secrecy is exactly the kind the bully prefers that you use.

Assert yourself with adults (and bullies) who think that children should be ignored, but realize that all adults are not supportive of children reporting crimes. Reporting makes you heard, and creates a paper trail that give evidence that you are law abiding (and not a trouble maker). Will bullies not like this? Of course they will not like it. Do not give in to their psychological pressure. Reporting to authorities will eventually create a wall of support around you that is hard to beat.

Many bullies trap their victim in the bathroom, as people usually go alone. Make it a habit to go when the bathroom's busy, or go in groups.

Do not make rude comments, jokes, or rumors of any sort. It will hurt you in the long run!

If the bully is causing you severe harm (physical or otherwise), it is absolutely necessary to tell somebody about your problems. Remember, you're not alone.

Report every crime when it is safe for you to do so, but understand that it is not easy to go through that process. Many police, parents, teachers, etc., believe that it is wrong to report crimes of children in a school setting. And you may have to listen to them. Be completely honest in reporting to adults. It is the best way to build trust with them.

Report emergencies such as very recent crimes that involve an immediate threat to health, life, or property when there has not yet been any competent adult intervention by calling 9-1-1 as quickly as possible. Report crimes with no current threat or when you can reach them faster than police, to a teacher, principal, nurse, counselor, your parents, and let one of them help you report it to police.

If your parent (or another adult) is the bully, it is more complicated to report it because they have a lot of power over you. If it could be illegal touching (such as physical beating or sexual touching) then report it to an adult who you trust.

Keep in mind that somebody purposely touching you without your permission (or the permission of an adult who has true authority over you) may be a crime, even if the perpetrator is a child, and should be reported to an adult you trust unless it is so small that you give your permission after the act.

Understand self defense, but know its limits. It is protection from harm. Sometimes it is physical; sometimes it is running or evading a problem in other ways. Its purpose, when it is physical, is nothing more than to stop yourself from being physically hurt. Self-defense can sometimes incriminate you (make you seem like a criminal, which may require a judge to decide). You must decide whether or not to report the crime after you use self-defense.

If you do report to an adult, be sure to report any self-defense that you used accurately, so that when they discover it later they will know that you are the law-abiding one rather than automatically thinking that you are a dishonest troublemaker.