The Press Release we never sent...

In a brief discussion on press reporting of SoF activities, the AGM was enlivened by the following "draft release" from media liaison officer David Boulton:

BISHOP CONFESSES: "I BELIEVE IN GOD!"

Shock and horror swept through a meeting of the devoutly godless Sea of Faith movement when a Bishop publicly confessed: "I still believe in God!"

Members were stunned as the Bishop mounted his outspoken attack on their idea that God is an idea.

"I am stunned", said one stunned member.

Some godless vicars who support SoF's traditional view that God is a cultural construct wept openly at what they called a betrayal of their faith.

"This is a betrayal of our faith", said one. Others described the Bishop's views as "outrageous".

"It is outrageous," said one priest who asked not to be named, "that this man should brazenly challenge everything we hold most dear. While we have been showing God the door, this Bishop has let him in by the back window".

Some traditionalist non-believers took comfort from the fact that the Bishop was from America, and therefore not a real bishop. "You never know what to expect from a non-real bishop", complained one of the organisers.

Meanwhile, the real Bishop of Leicester, spotted at the rear of the conference hall, told reporters: "I am only here because I like dropping in on the odd religious meeting in my dioceseand this is the oddest yet."

God was not available for comment last night, but official spokesman Archangel Gabriel told reporters...