I'm well aware of this, and I refuse to see it on the grounds that I disapprove of remakes, and while the original was a terrible movie (but one of those terrible movies that will always have a place in my heart), there is no way the remake could possibly be better

I think you missed my point. It's terrible in the way that the original Robocop was terrible, or Rollerball (with James Caan, not the ****** remake), Snakes On A Plane, or Flash Gordon. From an objective point of view, it was terrible, stiff acting, poor pacing, poor choice of shots (not talking specifically about Red Dawn, just describing these types of terrible movies in general). That doesn't change the fact that I ******* love it. That doesn't change the fact that it was ******* awesome. Awesome ≠ well made, Terrible movie ≠ Bad movie