Thanks to the athletic supplement brand Gamma Labs, my penis has officially never been more confused in its life. It’s like a nervous groundhog down there, unsure of whether or not we’ll have six more weeks of winter. And all in the name of Christmas.

Picture this scenario: Brittney Palmer is in your living room, counting down the 12 days of Christmas in red lingerie, preferably while you wait for her evil but equally hot doppelganger to arrive and help you pick out stocking stuffers together (BA-DUM-TSH!). Sounds awesome, right? Now picture that, as you’re about to lay this gorgeous piece of work down by the fireplace, she suddenly morphs into PETE FREAKING SELL, complete with two black eyes and a shitload of tinsel (and probably a cold cut combo somewhere in there). Then Shane Carwin shows up. Then Chuck Liddell. Then Joe Stevenson and an army of caroling children. And so on. And so forth. It is a hellish nightmare that I wouldn’t wish upon the dingus of my worst enemy, yet Gamma Labs has spawned forth this erectoral purgatory on us all seemingly as some sort of cruel holiday joke.

I don’t care if Halloween was yesterday, when I came across this video of Arianny Celeste posing in a graveyard in her skivvies roughly five minutes ago, I felt inclined to immediately share it with you. Because that’s the kind of friend I am, Potato Nation. I don’t know what magazine or calendar or necrophilia fetish website this shoot by Sam Honfoto was for, nor do I care to find out. It’s Arianny Celeste standing around in her underwear and getting attacked by zombies. That’s all I care about, and the same should go for all of you.

It’s funny (or perhaps sad), I’ve seen so many photos and videos of Ms. Celeste since joining the CagePotato staff — because I never once checked her out before then *looks nervously around room* – that I have begun to pick up on the go-to poses she has perfected over the years. There’s the panty pull (seen at :57), the classic hand bra, the double hand hair grab, and the very rarely seen behind the back ass shot. That last one is like seeing a unicorn at the exact moment that Halley’s Comet passes by.

And if you thought that video was awesome (or even if you didn’t) you will probably enjoy this much more…thorough (?) behind-the-scenes video of Brittney Palmer’s latest shoot for FHM magazine after the jump. Spoiler alert: It contains more side boob, under boob, and extended shots of dat ass then you’ll probably be able to handle at work today. Adjust your screens accordingly.

Since it’s been a relatively slow news week, we figured it was time to put together a gallery that’s been on our to-do list for some time — a definitive collection of every notable MMA ring girl who has posed nude. And we don’t mean that “implied nude“ bullshit, or that cutesy rear-view-onlystuff. We mean fully naked, with boobies and everything. Use the “next page” links or the links below to navigate through the gallery, and keep in mind that the NSFW photos will be linked off of those landing pages, to further guard against embarrassing misunderstandings at work.

Coinciding with the 2012 US Open Of Surfing in Huntington Beach, the UFC recently held an open tryout, if you will, to find the newest card-carrying ring girl for its prestigious organization. And even though we already had the perfect candidate in mind, hundreds of women showed up to the casting call for the chance to strut their stuff around an octagon, blow kisses into the camera, and shun the pathetic advances of drunken fans until they are inevitably fired when they turn 25. Ahhhh, America.

As it turns out, the Huntington auditions were no walk in the park: The day began with a clothes-off pose-off, as is tradition, before the advancing contestants were forced to undergo a vigorous test of body, mind, and spirit, which included a five mile swim, a 100 question multiple choice assessment, a talent show, and a horse semen chug-off (at Joe Rogan’s request). The remaining contestants must have been really funny or something is what we’re saying, because Brittney Palmer they are not.

In either case, check out a bunch of the candidates after the jump, head over to Transworld Surf to check out the rest, and let us know what you think. (Author’s note: Not about the picture viewer. I don’t care about your frivolous first world problems.)