greg k. is so badass, when he moves side to side playing the bass guitar, its actually he bass trembling with fear.
ok ur turn lol, chuck noris aint shit on greg k.

KyleW

07-22-2008, 05:04 AM

If we are just replacing Chuck Norris with Greg K then im in.

Greg K can wheelie a unicycle.

Greg K can kill two stones with one bird.

Greg K lost his virginity before his father.

The jokes dont end but I really cant be bothered typing them all out.

Szandi

07-22-2008, 05:57 AM

Greg K., Texas Ranger :D:rolleyes:

weezly

07-23-2008, 07:21 AM

when greg k says dance fucker dance, u better dance fucker

~|Vredina|~

07-23-2008, 07:28 AM

Greg K. never gets fat.

F@ BANKZ

07-23-2008, 07:35 AM

Greg K is so badass Hammerhead is his newborn's lulliby.

Ptit Seb

07-23-2008, 07:51 AM

Greg K is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Greg K

If Greg K is late, time better slow the fuck down

If you have five dollars and Greg K has five dollars, Greg K has more money than you

Jaded skies

07-23-2008, 08:18 AM

Greg k. goes to taco bell for fourthmeal

HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR

ehh? ehhhhhhh? EHHHHH?

anyone?

Jojan

07-23-2008, 09:20 AM

Greg K uses a pacifier because he wants to.

GBH2

07-23-2008, 09:28 AM

greg k could be removed from the band and no one would notice.

YODAvid

07-23-2008, 09:43 AM

greg k could be removed from the band and no one would notice.

wtf... you mean you could be removed from the planet and no one would notice?

DUKENT

07-23-2008, 09:53 AM

greg k could be removed from the band and no one would notice.

That's simply not true you stupid dumbshit goddamn motherfucker!

The Search Button

07-23-2008, 02:29 PM

"Penis enlargement" is originally a Greg K's patent.

Cock Joke

07-23-2008, 02:40 PM

When Greg K. does push-ups, he's not pushing himself up, he's pushing the Earth down!!!

Cock Joke

07-23-2008, 02:43 PM

Greg K. is so bad ass that if he cursed on an album and they tried to censor it, you could still hear him cursing!

Steph

07-23-2008, 02:50 PM

He stands faster than you run:o

bighead384

07-23-2008, 03:21 PM

Greg K doesn't need to write bass parts. He just stares at the bass until it writes the part for him out of fear.

Or until Dexter tells him what to play, haha.

KyleW

07-23-2008, 03:24 PM

Greg K ordered a Big Mac at Burger King..... and got one!

bighead384

07-23-2008, 03:30 PM

Greg K. was originally supposed to be in the video for "Da Hui", but Da Hui was too intimated by Greg K. to shoot a video with him.

bighead384

07-23-2008, 03:31 PM

Many people consider "Beheaded" to be the only joke song off the S/T album. In reality, they lyrics to "Beheaded" are based on real events that occur when Greg K. has a bad day.

hshduppsnt

07-23-2008, 04:03 PM

greg k could be removed from the band and no one would notice.

Take it Back! and then go away - quick - before Greg K. Smites you!

Stylie

07-23-2008, 04:26 PM

Take it Back! and then go away - quick - before Greg K. Smites you!

Yeah, that was a bad sentence. -_- Greg K is badass, anyway.

Rooster

07-23-2008, 04:28 PM

Yeah, that was a bad sentence. -_- Greg K is badass, anyway.

Quoted for truth.

hshduppsnt

07-23-2008, 04:39 PM

Yeah, that was a bad sentence. -_- Greg K is badass, anyway.

oh no! The grammar police! Run!

GBH2

07-23-2008, 07:39 PM

i'm not kidding people; it wasn't until i started listening to other genres that i realized how incredibly boring and pointless punk bass-work is. all greg k does is echo the rythm guitar. BORING

Short_Attention_Span

07-23-2008, 09:04 PM

i'm not kidding people; it wasn't until i started listening to other genres that i realized how incredibly boring and pointless punk bass-work is. all greg k does is echo the rythm guitar. BORING

But, but, but... what about Mike Watt from the Minutemen?
________
Vapor genie review high (http://vaporizer.org)

GBH2

07-23-2008, 10:24 PM

i mean like three chord punk. offspring punk.

minutemen are different

Free?

07-24-2008, 05:38 AM

Greg K. was originally supposed to be in the video for "Da Hui", but Da Hui was too intimated by Greg K. to shoot a video with him.

Many people consider "Beheaded" to be the only joke song off the S/T album. In reality, they lyrics to "Beheaded" are based on real events that occur when Greg K. has a bad day.

Those 2 were the best ones so far. And I find "re-Greg-K-ing" Chuck Norris facts boring.

i'm not kidding people; it wasn't until i started listening to other genres that i realized how incredibly boring and pointless punk bass-work is. all greg k does is echo the rythm guitar. BORING

Dude, just because they play three-chord-punk, it doesn't mean that Greg is an empty place. He's much more than just bass lines in a song. Remember the time when Greg was replaced with Scott from Face-To-Face? It was far from "none noticed".

You're speaking about how easy he could be replaced on the album recording and while listening it we couldn't find any differences of bass work, but still "greg k could be removed from the band and no one would notice." sounds ways too harsh.

Gustavo

07-24-2008, 06:11 AM

Chuck Norris Jokes style, love it.

Greg K played Through The Fire And Flames using only one hand and using a Dualshock, and he got the score of 100%.
PS: He was playing in Expert.

Stylie

07-24-2008, 06:11 AM

oh no! The grammar police! Run!
Wtf do you mean by that? ‘‘

I didn't like the "greg k could be removed from the band and no one would notice." So what do you mean by that?
And yeah, totally agree Free.

ok good work but just make sure, u dont reuse chuck norris, make them specificto greg eg
sunglasses were originally designed because to many people were killed for looking at greg. k 'funny' originally they were called light preservers, untill greg thought it would be good to also have a tinted lense so it looked more badass, he took them off and said, u better be tinted by the time ur back on my face, they were tinted!!

hshduppsnt

07-24-2008, 08:33 AM

Wtf do you mean by that? ‘‘

I didn't like the "greg k could be removed from the band and no one would notice." So what do you mean by that?
And yeah, totally agree Free.

haha my bad dude i was going on a complete lack of sleep yesterday and thought you were picking on me... whoops :)

Stylie

07-24-2008, 09:30 AM

haha my bad dude i was going on a complete lack of sleep yesterday and thought you were picking on me... whoops :)

Maaaaaan... :P

GBH2

07-24-2008, 09:49 AM

Remember the time when Greg was replaced with Scott from Face-To-Face?
no

Okay, fair enough. Jay Bentley from Bad Religion, then? He shows off every once in a while and it sounds pretty cool. Besides, the song would sound a little flatter if there was no bass. It would be missing something.

Greg K played Through The Fire And Flames using only one hand and using a Dualshock, and he got the score of 100%.
PS: He was playing in Expert.

I'm a Guitar Hero addict, so this one got a lol out of me...
________
THE CIGAR BOSS (http://thecigarboss.com/)

Stylie

07-24-2008, 05:03 PM

Besides, the song would sound a little flatter if there was no bass. It would be missing something.

A little? A song would be very thin without bass, very thin.

zsk

07-25-2008, 04:02 AM

kristy was not a friend of greg,so he made her to go into a hospital,dexter made a song about this story,i think you all know it;)

Conspiracyof1000

07-25-2008, 04:13 PM

http://www.imgbox.de/users/public/images/w43608c212.jpg
that's lol :D

Greg K., the real American hero!

Cock Joke

07-25-2008, 04:16 PM

People ask how South Pole & North Pole get their names. Well, the guy who named them was thinking of greg's cock! AND HE WAS HETEROSEXUAL!!!

zsk

07-26-2008, 01:42 AM

sido once aked,"who is greg kriesel?"
since then,he wears a mask

for the people who don't know sido:
http://www.ktb-projekte.de/hp_info9_0506/homepage_thomas/sido1.jpg
je's a german rapper,but actually nobody likes him:D

SK8rocka

07-26-2008, 01:54 AM

Greg K is so badass he demands he's wife has pigtails so he can ride her like a bike

(Pigtails are handlebars)

KyleW

07-26-2008, 03:19 PM

Greg K is so badass his wife is blonde with pigtails so greg can have a blowjob with handlebars!

Holy shit, I was scrolling up the page, and this thread was right beside the Jerry Finn dieing thread. I thought I saw "Greg K has died" :(

Rutegard

08-14-2008, 03:41 AM

Holy shit, I was scrolling up the page, and this thread was right beside the Jerry Finn dieing thread. I thought I saw "Greg K has died" :(

yeah....

UFF!!!

poor you....

lost_nvrfound

08-14-2008, 08:22 PM

Greg K is so bad ass that he doesn't need to speak. He looks at you and you just know.

bighead384

08-14-2008, 10:43 PM

i mean like three chord punk. offspring punk.

The term "three chord punk" always bothered me a little. I mean, The Ramones had a lot of three chord riffs, but when it comes to modern punk bands, even the least technical bands have at least 4 chords in about 80% of their riffs. Don't get me wrong, it's not like a big deal or anything, I'm just saying...

Conspiracyof1000

08-15-2008, 07:34 PM

GREG K.

Best post I ever made.

lost_nvrfound

08-15-2008, 08:52 PM

GREG K.

Best post I ever made.

out of nearly 1400 posts? I find that highly depressing... :p

Conspiracyof1000

08-16-2008, 05:07 PM

Yeah, a lot of the ones in the postcount thread sucked, so that was a major improvement. :p

ZeQuebecois

08-16-2008, 08:53 PM

I'm not sure it's a good one or it've been said but I'll try...

Greg K can play you any solo you want with only 1 string on his bass :rolleyes:

lost_nvrfound

08-16-2008, 09:13 PM

MAN! This is like the Dr. Tran flash video.

rise_and_fall

08-18-2008, 05:42 AM

This isn't where I parked my car...

iPunk247

08-27-2008, 11:09 PM

greg k is a natural born badass because he dyed his hair blue and looked totally stoked and all the girly/boy fans loved it aswell

Rutegard

09-01-2008, 02:30 AM

one day Greg woke up and needed a shave...so he went to see Sweeney Todd, however when he realized how twisted he was, he used Sweeney's towel to smother him! (but he managed to be shaved before that)

when he left Sweeney Todd's place he realized his car has been stolen, he phoned Horation Cane, this was the conversation:
"-H?
-Oh Mr Kriesel good to hear from you, what can i do?..
- My car has been stolen..
- Where are you?..
- Can't you just trace my call?
- Yes Sir, yes, i'm sorry...
- i won't wait too long...*hangs up*"

Horatio arrived in 4 minutes, and started immediatly to work on that case, ONLY on that case, and before Greg said something he was already on the move hunting down the jackass!

after this Greg calls Dexter, his bandmate!
"- DEXTER!! Where are you?
- home...why?
- I need your car
- what for?
- get your fat ass over here and don't ask me stupid questions?
- where are you?
- can't you trace me!?!?
- what?!? how would i do that?
- oh forget about it...i'm near Sweeney's place, by the way, that freak is dead!
- erm...ok...i'll be right there..
- hurry up i got better things to do!!!
- ok..ok..!!
- *hangs up*"

after 15 minutes Dexter arrives, Greg is mad for taking so long, Greg pushes Dexter leaving him on the ground, and take off at maximum speed!!
he drives back home, where his dog is sick! the dog presented unusual symptoms during morning time, so since we are talking about Greg's dog and not another random dog, Greg took his dog to see Dr House.

Greg didn't like to hear that, he hates Joker but he's not a big friend of Batman either...he decides to talk to him..

"- Hey Batman it's Greg here...
- i know who you are..i heard about your car..
- yeah that's bad...hey listen...
- yeah...
- i want Joker..
- yeah tell me!
- no seriously, i wanna catch him!
- i can help you
- NO! you freak!! i don't need help...
- hey Greg forget about it..it's just a car...
- MY car!! ya know i can't live without it...i'm driving dexter's car right now...it's so terrible ya know?...i hate this piece of metal!
- yeah....life sucks indeed...
- ok so i want you to back off ok?
- well,...it's your call, but if things go wrong don't expect me to be there and save you..
- that won't be necessary... *hangs up*"

Greg speeds...but Dexter's car won't reach high velocity so Greg starts to fell kinda grumpy, then he spots Joker, greg stops the car, and get out
they look at each other
Joker starts laughing
Greg is very serious!!

Greg gets in his car, very happy, and leave dexter's car open up and some vandals just start to tear it up!!!

after all, Greg WON!

~|Vredina|~

09-01-2008, 05:13 AM

Rutegard
Wow, it's hilarious:D You've made my day)))

iPunk247

09-01-2008, 05:28 AM

*my jaws dr0pped*

B R i L L i A N T :D

Rutegard

09-01-2008, 06:00 AM

Rutegard
Wow, it's hilarious:D You've made my day)))

*my jaws dr0pped*

B R i L L i A N T :D

thank you very much :D

Redjie

09-01-2008, 08:25 AM

already told ya I loved it :D

F@ BANKZ

09-01-2008, 08:32 AM

lol... Rutegard.

Edit: How can you have a higher post count than me when I've only just learned your name :(
Edit Mk.II: You joined at the same time that I did.... I submit.
Edit Mk.III: What a horrible, horrible post this is.

Bipolar Bear

09-01-2008, 08:36 AM

Great story Ruteguard! I've actually read through it all even though it's long.
A+ xD

F@ BANKZ

09-01-2008, 08:39 AM

I should also add I read it and award A+ also. I really can't edit my first post anymore.

Rutegard

09-01-2008, 10:31 AM

Great story Ruteguard! I've actually read through it all even though it's long.
A+ xD

thanks for reading it all :D it's good for you otherway you would never know what happened to greg :p

and F@ BANKZ i've seen you around, ya know? :D :cool:

F@ BANKZ

09-01-2008, 10:33 AM

lol, I meant a month or so ago =P

Anybody who spells my name right gets a gold star by the way:

*

Rutegard

09-01-2008, 10:37 AM

lol, I meant a month or so ago =P

Anybody who spells my name right gets a gold star by the way:

*

and i even highlighted it :D heheheh

Capricorn4

09-01-2008, 10:56 AM

one day Greg woke up and needed a shave...so he went to see Sweeney Todd, however when he realized how twisted he was, he used Sweeney's towel to smother him! (but he managed to be shaved before that)

when he left Sweeney Todd's place he realized his car has been stolen, he phoned Horation Cane, this was the conversation:
"-H?
-Oh Mr Kriesel good to hear from you, what can i do?..
- My car has been stolen..
- Where are you?..
- Can't you just trace my call?
- Yes Sir, yes, i'm sorry...
- i won't wait too long...*hangs up*"

Horatio arrived in 4 minutes, and started immediatly to work on that case, ONLY on that case, and before Greg said something he was already on the move hunting down the jackass!

after this Greg calls Dexter, his bandmate!
"- DEXTER!! Where are you?
- home...why?
- I need your car
- what for?
- get your fat ass over here and don't ask me stupid questions?
- where are you?
- can't you trace me!?!?
- what?!? how would i do that?
- oh forget about it...i'm near Sweeney's place, by the way, that freak is dead!
- erm...ok...i'll be right there..
- hurry up i got better things to do!!!
- ok..ok..!!
- *hangs up*"

after 15 minutes Dexter arrives, Greg is mad for taking so long, Greg pushes Dexter leaving him on the ground, and take off at maximum speed!!
he drives back home, where his dog is sick! the dog presented unusual symptoms during morning time, so since we are talking about Greg's dog and not another random dog, Greg took his dog to see Dr House.

Greg didn't like to hear that, he hates Joker but he's not a big friend of Batman either...he decides to talk to him..

"- Hey Batman it's Greg here...
- i know who you are..i heard about your car..
- yeah that's bad...hey listen...
- yeah...
- i want Joker..
- yeah tell me!
- no seriously, i wanna catch him!
- i can help you
- NO! you freak!! i don't need help...
- hey Greg forget about it..it's just a car...
- MY car!! ya know i can't live without it...i'm driving dexter's car right now...it's so terrible ya know?...i hate this piece of metal!
- yeah....life sucks indeed...
- ok so i want you to back off ok?
- well,...it's your call, but if things go wrong don't expect me to be there and save you..
- that won't be necessary... *hangs up*"

Greg speeds...but Dexter's car won't reach high velocity so Greg starts to fell kinda grumpy, then he spots Joker, greg stops the car, and get out
they look at each other
Joker starts laughing
Greg is very serious!!

JEEZ RUTEGARD! that was awesome! Greg has to to read this! maybe he could ask you to write his biography or something!

BTW... does dexter ride a bike now?

Rutegard

09-02-2008, 12:48 PM

JEEZ RUTEGARD! that was awesome! Greg has to to read this! maybe he could ask you to write his biography or something!

BTW... does dexter ride a bike now?

maybe i'll write something related to what did dexter do after greg taking his car LOOOL

Steph

09-02-2008, 12:51 PM

http://i33.tinypic.com/314cqbs.jpg
Nope, he skates :D

Rutegard

09-02-2008, 01:01 PM

http://i33.tinypic.com/314cqbs.jpg
Nope, he skates :D

i'm in love with his skating skills LOL :D

Steph

09-02-2008, 01:14 PM

i'm in love with his skating skills LOL :D

yea, surely a professional

Rutegard

09-02-2008, 01:14 PM

yea, he's surely a professional

no doubt about it..

HEY DEX

wanna teach me!?!

:p

RobinoZombie

09-02-2008, 01:22 PM

Of Course He's A Bassplayer!

BillythePunk

09-17-2008, 11:28 PM

Greg K is the man. I wanna BE that guy. But...there can be only one Greg K. Badass motherfucker, jumping off shit, chillin with his golf clubs, doing his bass dance...he's what God created man to be like.

mrs_hollandova

09-18-2008, 01:20 AM

i'm in love with his skating skills LOL :D

LOL Im in love with his clothes hehehehehehehe :eek: And the legs... hmmmmmmm :P sexy!

The Search Button

09-18-2008, 02:27 AM

LOL Im in love with his clothes hehehehehehehe :eek: And the legs... hmmmmmmm :P sexy!

I'd vote in you for stalker of the year.

Rutegard

09-18-2008, 03:26 AM

LOL Im in love with his clothes hehehehehehehe :eek: And the legs... hmmmmmmm :P sexy!

i prefer his green head and the legs?...LOL girl's legs :D which is fine by me LOL