How I Learned ‘Guy Speak’ at Work

SUZANNE HOPGOOD: Women’s career progress mostly relies upon having strong mentors who use their clout to insert women into previously all-male environments or to provide the opportunities and insights necessary to be successful.

My first career position was a result of my boss recommending me to a Massachusetts community bank president for a position responsible for all real estate and consumer lending.

I left that position to take a job at a $30 billion real-estate investment division of an insurance company, where I became the highest ranking female officer in the division. It was a difficult environment, and there seemed to be unwritten rules about a dress code, social interactions, and when to share the key information colleagues needed, which was often based on who was “in” and who wasn’t. I had come from a community bank and before that from a family-owned business. In both cases, we did what was best for the community and for the company. The rules were simple and clear. I now needed help in breaking the code of confusion and a mentor was crucial to being successful.

The head of the department called me in to his office one April to say he had signed me up for the annual, all-guy, three-day golf tournament. His response to my saying I didn’t play golf was, “It’s April. The tournament is in September. We belong to Tournament Players Club.”

Some of the missing code became apparent on the golf course, where I parred the first hole of the tournament, after a long summer spent at driving and putting ranges, and learning the rules from a golf pro. Many real estate deals are done on the golf course and it is a perfect situation to learn about someone’s character.

I tried to learn guy-speak in other ways, too. Some of us formed a group we named “The Good Old Girls Club” of high-ranking women across divisions in the Fortune 50 company. The Club met once a month for lunch to share information and help each other in trying to break the mysterious code of corporate acceptance.

Two male friends along the way have also consistently helped translate guy-speak so I could understand what was really happening in certain situations. Their translation has allowed me to change my strategy and message to become successful in most of those endeavors.

The obstacles have remained the same over the years. We all like to hire people who are just like us because we understand each other and we can communicate better. That usually leads to there being only one or two women on corporate boards or in the c-suite to join the others who have established their culture. Women then have to find their “translator” and the mentor who will do for them what others have done for me.

Suzanne Hopgood is the president and chief executive of the Hopgood Group, a corporate-governance consulting company.