This meeting will now come to order. Order, please. Everyone please take your coffee and your gluten-free cookies [hey, it’s my meeting; I made cookies I can eat] and find a seat. Great, thank you.

This meeting of the local chapter of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee is now in session. Welcome back, veterans, and greetings to those of you who are new this time. Whether you’ve just discovered us—possibly after trying on swimsuits and wondering if you should invite a friend to share the top with you or just stuff some extra socks in there—or are just now finding yourself ready to join, say, after having weaned that last baby and discovering the deleterious deflation effects therein, we’re happy to have you here.

We have just a few items on the agenda to discuss today, and then we’ll open up the floor to new business.

Okay, let me just get my papers organized, here… hang on. Ah, there we go. Okay! First item: Discussion of of a Warner’s boycott.

Now, ladies, we agreed to table this after the last meeting when several of you burst into tears, but it was agreed that we would discuss it at a later date, and here we are. I see a few confused faces out there, so for those who haven’t been privy to the previous discussions about this, allow me to give you the background.

Warner’s, as a major lingerie brand, has long been a friend to the small-busted amongst us. Their offerings tend to be reasonably priced, pretty without being too fussy, and—the item of most interest to many of us—they carry a wide variety of options in even smaller sizes. In fact, they’re one of the few brands which consistently carries underwires in smaller sizes, which those of us who are, ah, a bit older can appreciate even in our diminutive state. Being small doesn’t mean we don’t need shape and support, ladies!

In addition, they’re one of the few brands which has consistently offered front-closure options for those of us who are of delicate constitutions and prefer not to have the lump of a bunch of hook-and-eye closures in the middle of our backs.

However, over the years Warner’s has also consistently tormented us by discontinuing style after style. It’s almost as though as soon as we find the perfect bra, POOF, that’s the end of it. And in the last year the sizing has changed, as well, creating a situation wherein many of us have simply reached the end of our tolerance. Is it time to send a message to Warner’s, my sisters?

Oh, dear. I think… did she just faint? Quick, someone drive her down to TJ Maxx and revive her, please. Wow. I had no idea that this would still be such a charged issue. Let’s move on for the moment and vote at the end of the meeting, shall we? Okay, then.

Second item on the agenda: Weight loss. That’s right, I see a lot of nodding heads. Many of us dedicated ourselves to preparation for swimsuit season by getting fit and dropping a few pounds, and what happened? Exactly! Our already small breasts shrank even more. Yes, the Lord barely giveth and then the Lord taketh away. The Lord is kind of a jerk when it comes to this particular issue. But no matter! We have a couple of members working on a pamphlet to help ready new members and the uneducated amongst the masses on this important issue. Could you pass up what we have so far, please? Excellent, thank you.

Right… so the first section is about how losing weight is completely unnecessary if you have any ice cream in the freezer, anyway. Excellent point. And section two is about the perpetual cycle of how losing weight shrinks the boobs and makes your hips look bigger again and then you have to lose more weight and the whole thing can become quite dangerous. Excellent, excellent points. And finally there’s a swimsuit shopping guide, suggesting buying only those suits where the pieces can be purchased separately, and ideally with removable pads in the top.

Oh, c’mon now. No gasping. No one’s suggesting you augment all day long, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and it’s gonna be a hot one out there this year, so if you know a more desperate time than swimsuit shopping, I’d love to hear about it. Right.

For those of you whose recent weight loss has actually stranded you between cup sizes, we have a separate support group for that which meets the third Thursday of the month. See me after to get the details on that one.

And finally, we have a rather delicate item on the agenda I just want to cover very quickly. Those of you with daughters? We do offer a support manual called What To Do When Your Tween or Teen Outgrows You. A little bit of jealousy is normal, and with proper support for both of you, this doesn’t have to be a difficult time. The key point to bear in mind is that you’re only allowed to say “Just wait until you’re old like me, THEY DON’T LAST” once a month or so. Plenty of your sisters here have already been through this, and you can do it, too.

Any other items to cover for today? No? Don’t forget to consult our fine directory of tailors and boob tape suppliers, and remember: More than a handful’s wasted.

Okay, we’re handing out ballots for the Warner’s issue… please just drop them in the ballot box up here on your way out. And please take a few cookies with you. See you all next time!

Fellow members of the IBTC: Could you please recommend a strapless option? Preferably one that doesn’t feel like I’m stabbing myself in the sternum. I do need some padding, lest I resemble my 8 year old more than I care to admit. Thanks!!

I’m not even left with a handful at the moment — every bra I currently own is, shall we say, depressingly roomy. Rapid weight loss via flu is a shallow victory indeed. I’d like a biologist to explain to me why the ol’ saddlebags don’t deflate at the same rate as (or, ideally, instead of) my chesticles.

As a founding member, who had a sister who would always look at me and proclaim loudly to the masses that “her boobs were bigger than mine”, I offer as a suggestion, Soma Intimates. They measure you and make sure you’re wearing the right size and they have sales all the time! Oh and they teach you how to wear your bra correctly, because apparently, everyone in the world wears a bra wrong.

I should not even be at this meeting as I am freakishly wasteful. Not by choice, I might add. That Lord, he’s quite a kidder in this department.

What I’d like to know is what moron decided that bra straps do not need to be fully adjustable and changed them so that you only have that tiny little adjustable bit at the back that offers no more than 2″ difference between longest and shortest setting? I have always had to adjust the strap to about 1 inch away from the shortest possible setting. I can no longer find a bra that doesn’t require immediate disassembling to shorten the straps.

Also, who decided that you cannot have a narrow back and be freakishly largely endowed? I order them flogged. Fat or thin, I can’t find a bra that fits around the chest AND in the cup size. There is no point to a bra that fits in the cup (I wish) but is too large around the chest wall, as the aged boobies, they are escape artists and will go slip-slidin’ away at the slightest intake of breath. And quadraboobs will NEVER be in fashion.

“What To Do When Your Tween or Teen Outgrows You. A little bit of jealousy is normal, and with proper support for both of you, this doesn’t have to be a difficult time. ”

Oh BABY. How about What To Do When Your Teen Manages To Outgrow You By TWO (and counting) Cup Sizes? I mean, aside from saying helpful things like, “yes but mine will only drop to my navel, yours can reach all the way to your KNEES.” For the record, I do also tell her how gorgeous she is, and how her body is lovely and just right for her, and I point out that I would have KILLED for her figure at one point. Then she stops being TOO smug and is nice in turn and we agree that we are all generally fabulous. Then her IBT sister and I get together and sigh a bit and exchange stories about padding and underwires and what’s-with-the-pushup-all-the-way-to-your-chin, and point out sagely that at least we can find sports bras that actually support and don’t leave you in danger of knocking yourself out with your own knockers.

Nice as the lady at Soma was to measure me, tell me how to wear my bra, etc, I was woefully disappointed with their selection in my IBT size. White or black in one single style just doesn’t suffice for me.

Many past beloved bras, now discontinued. Only last year I found another one just as it was being discontinued. Hunt as I might, I could only find 3 of them. The similar replacement? Not as good a bra. Serviceable, but still…

And while we’re on the subject, what is with all the preformed cups these days??? I am quite surprised this issue was not on the agenda, as I believe many members are wondering how, indeed, to fill such foamy lingerie. Where are the options for those of us who don’t want to be preformed, just our own shape with a little help, thank you very much??

Good meeting. Can’t wait for the next one. Can we get a Warner’s rep to attend??

Please let me know when the committee meets again. I would love to attend. Heartily agree with all points. I have hoped for 13 years now (since my daughter was borh) that she inherits her chest size from my paternal grandmother, or any woman on my husband’s side fo the family, because there is nothing to inherit from me or my mother’s side… we got nothin’.
= )

From the Non-IBTC meeting, I can say that we have MANY people who would like to change meeting teams, that’s for sure. I’ve never been happy with the “excess” chest I was given, considering it grew during pregnancies and didn’t deflate back to original, either. I know, “waaahhhhhhh” to me, but when you’re a 34G/H, shopping and fitting is tough, too. And let’s not get into jogging (black eyes vs. duct tape?!), shoulder dents, back aches, etc. I guess I really need to look into a reduction, but that involves pain and recovery (and fighting insurance), which I’m not too fond of, either. So, can I bitch right along with you, but for the opposite reason?! :)

Such a funny post! I’m not a member of the IBTC, but I have to say that I don’t think I’ve EVER had a bra that I loved. I see women with lovely ones that fit perfectly and mine just never do. I’ve thought, before, that maybe it is just because I am cheap and don’t buy the good ones. Then I splurge on Victoria Secret (high end in my eyes) and STILL I can’t find a great one….

As someone who passed her mother in size at age seventeen, I do not qualify for your committee. But I often wish I did. There comes a time (generally in ones 30’s) when one realizes that one should not dance in public unless they have bound themselves with super strength ace bandages. And maybe some duct tape for good measure.
Also? They simply don’t make “cute” bras for bigger boobs. They just don’t. They all seem to have pads in them. I still don’t know why.

I don’t qualify for the IBTC either. But, would like to say this is why I stick with wearing sports bras. Every. Single. Day. But, that’s mostly because straps bug me and my cup size tends to go from B to C with, say, the shifting of the wind.

Hilarious post, I felt like I was right there in the meeting and I can’t wait for the next one. As the last of three girls, I always figured there was nothing left when I came along, especially since my oldest sister clearly took the biggest helping. And I’ve been tugging on this damned harness all morning trying to keep everything aligned and, you know, normal-looking.

I do belong to this committee, but I didn’t know the name of it before. My mom said her cup size changed for the larger after she had kids, but that didn’t hold true for me. I have had trouble finding anything near comfortable, so I took a class to learn to sew my own bras. But here it is a year later and I still haven’t sewn some!
I really do have to get it done!!

I too can’t join and STILL can’t find something comfortable. Apparently whoever is desiging these things doesn’t wear them. Nothing cute and what is cute has the preformed padding and is NOT comfy. I want a little bit of padding so when I get cold at the office it isn’t so visible.

I am of the “cup runneth over” crowd, unfortunately. I have given up on a great bra, and am settling for “close enough”. I sympathize with your pain, but can you explain why the big ‘ole bras have the padding in 90% of them? Um, hello? My chest is big enough, I don’t need enhancing! Plus I already have (TMI here) under-boobage sweat problems, why do I want to wear a foam sweater on them?

My mother (who STILL grumbles about me being larger than her) one time looked at me and my best friend and pointed out that if you put the two of us together, we’d make two lovely sets of B-cups. I thought my BF was going to fall out of her chair, she was laughing so hard.

Needless to say, I’m only a fan of the IBTC and a charter member of the opposite group. We need a good name for that committee, too! Coming at things from the opposite side, but many of the same issues!

Let me know when the next meeting is, I would definitely qualify for membership. The weight loss = smaller boobs part is the worst. As if I needed another reason to sit on the couch and eat candy.

I’ve never worn Warner’s but I used to wear Playtex Thanks Goodness It Fits since they have regular cup sizes and in between cup sizes (at least they used to). I don’t think they have underwires but they do have some padding. Now I wear Calvin Klein front-clasp demi-bras. They have underwire (and a little padding, but not much) but are more expensive than Warner’s so I try to get them on sale. They last forever though.

I’m not a member these days, having grown with children and not deflated. Across the sea here in Oz, I find they don’t fit properly either. Maybe they all use the same mould? I like the padded cups. They keep it all nice and tidy and no lace and such to annoy me. My problem? Larger sizes over here have underwire and NO padding. Well, most of them. Maybe we’ll have to work out a cross supply solution? :)

Okay – unusual problem here – I now belong to the IBTC – had a double mastectomy a few years ago, and had implants done at the same time. I was lucky enough to find two – count em – two Warner’s styles that fit my fake boobies just beautifully! And – yes, you guessed it – both styles have been discontinued. I cannot wear underwire because of the implants, just does not feel comfortable. I absolutely cannot find anything that will replace the two styles that I really liked!!! So – if you do get hold of one of those Warner’s representatives – could you let me know – I really need to talk to them. Thanks!

This is SO my life! Has anyone ever used Zafu.com? (http://www.zafu.com/women/regular/bra/catalog.do?method=SEO_CATALOG) You describe your body type, (i.e. how bras usually fit you and what you’re looking for in a bra) in detail, and the website generates recommendations for bras that will fit. As a long-standing committee member who badly needs new no-longer-nursing bras, I would love to hear if anyone’s had any experience with this website.

My darling mother, a charter member of the IBTC, managed to produce 2 daughters who are CONSIDERABLY more endowed. Please don’t take her tactic and assume that we look like this because we are fat. We’re all the same weight and height, with the moms looking like a stick, and us doing our pin-up girl impression. Buying a bra at the department store or VS’s? No way. It’s Nordstrom with a $50 “on sale” industrial looking model either in beige or leopard print. Bathing suits? Grrr.

I have never even filled an A cup, with the exception of immediately after having both of my children. THEN I filled an A cup, if you counted the inclusion of nursing pads (why yes, I did starve my children when I attempted to exclusively breastfeed, thanks for asking). I am now living in nursing tanks, and would be perfectly content to never wear a bra again.

Benefits of belonging to the IBTC: easy cup inserts for strapless dresses. (I didn’t have to wear a bra at my wedding. Freedom! Huzzah!)

Of course, that was preceded by a trip into a Warner’s outlet to find aforementioned cups. The perky salesgirl asks, “Can I help you find anything?” My fiancee responded, “Why yes, she is looking for a bra. Can you point us in the direction of your twelve-year-old-boy section?” (The look on the poor girl’s face was priceless.)

I would love to be a member of the IBTC. Mine got bigger with kids and post-menopausal hormones. I’m ready for something better than a bra. How about a revolutionary plastic that holds them up in front and is comfortable as well. No more bra straps and unsightly bulges.

I’m the opposite of Dawn; you’d think getting fat would AT LEAST have gotten me boobs, but while I have a fat tummy (and also a large around-the-chest measurement), my cup size is still abysmally small. I am forced to buy overly-large cups and hope their padding doesn’t dent inwards while I’m walking around. And forced to accept that only maternity shirts ever fit me.

Maybe it’s just as well I never heard of Warner’s, it sounds too frustrating to deal with!

I think I am now ready to join the IBTC. When I was about 19 I was a FULL C cup. Then came one, two, three children and I barely fit into a B (depending on the brand). I wonder how my boob loving husband can stand it. I can’t stand to look at these saggy, gelatinous things anymore.

On a lighter note, I have a friend that is smaller than me who recently purchased the Victoria Secrets “Boob Job” bra. Let me tell you, that bra makes you look young and perky again. :)

How about those of us with one boob a full cup size smaller (wherein the “big” one is pretty tiny to start with) than the other? Where’s the bra for that. I’m tired of shoving a cutlet in there every day.

I would like to see an item on the next agenda on how to handle comments from fellow shoppers in the check-out line during bra purchases. I think this is something both the IBTC and the FWTC should discuss.

As a FWTC member, buying bras can be quite an experience. They don’t just have foam cups in a 38 D, they have FOAM CUPS, which stand up straight and proud and rise a full six or seven inches off the check-out counter, even if you try to hide them under a shirt or something. Just behind me in line on my last bra-shopping trip was a young man, who took one look at the giant mounds of beigeyness, raised his eyebrows to the ceiling and said, “Wow.”

I can’t join the IBTC either, but I think we freakishly wasteful (LOL, Dawn!) ladies need a support group, too. I do not understand why anyone who’s already a D cup would want padding, and yet nearly all of the bras I find in my size are padded. And I never did understand the pre-molded cups, either. Are bras all designed by blind monks?

I recommend Barely There. I think the name is supposed to suggest a bra that can hardly be noticed under your clothing, but maybe it’s really for those of us who are “barely there” in that area. Seriously, they have some nicely fitting bras with underwire. Not sure about the front closure though.

As a charter member of the BBWWTTT (Big Beautiful Women with Tiny Tiny Titties) support group. I would like to invite anyone to our monthly meeting. Here, let me pull the invitations out of my bra, since there is so much room in there. Welcome all.

I think I do know why there is padding in most bras these days, even the larger sizes, which really doesn’t need them. It is the NIPPLES! Bra manufacturers are trying to hide the fact that we have nipples. If you put enough padding between the nipple and the shirt, well you won’t have to see that pesky perky nip standing to attention when the least little cold breeze comes along. After all, we would not want to incite riots with all our nipplage just poking out there.

Love the post. Love the comments. As someone who opted for a breast reduction at 20 and whose sister wanted to be on an adjoining operating table for, shall we say, a donation, I have come to realize that the only people who can find a perfect bra are the Victoria Secret models — the rest of us don’t stand a chance.

Applause here, from the front row of charter members of the IBTC. When I got married, more than three decades ago, the woman who sized my gown told me I needed a bra with some “umph” and that was the only time I’ve worn a “push-up” bra. All these years later, still a size A, my friends and I celebrate that there is less to sag. Look for the silver lining, ladies. Oh, and I’ll bring peanut butter cookies to the next meeting ~

ok. a fabulous bra- a little pricey (but so worth it). Victorias secret. The one with the memory foam. It has padded straps so its comfy. There is even pading at the back by the clasps so they don’t dig into you. They come in push up, demi and full coverage. and they are even on sale right now on the website for the semi annual sale!! They are amazing and my most favorite new bra!!

Victoria’s Secret needs to be boycotted as well. I have uhm, LARGEISH breasts and although never had kids, at 42 years of aged they aren’t sitting as high as they should. everytime I find a bra that fits at VS, fits, feels good, looks good. WHAM they discontinue it. Bastards.

And can some bra manufacturer please please please make a nice teenage funky-color-patterned fabric bra in a 36D-36DD and up for the teenagers. Not every teen is a 34C and I do not want nor does my 16 year old want satin, lace, see-through, sexy lingerie. She wants hearts, moons, stripes, clovers, plaid, etc that I just cannot find in her sizes. Also, can a C cup be a C cup regardless of the band size. If I try a 40C the cup is freaking huge, but let me find a 38C and the cup magically shrinks. WTH? Some of us women have back fat and not all boob fat. Just saying.

I belong to the club too, but found a website, zafu.com. They ask questions and suggest bras for you. I finally, at the age of 40, have a bra that actually fits! (Although one of the brands they suggested discontinued my favorite bra…bah!)

in 198mumble, I went with my mom to buy a strapless bra to wear with my prom dress. I kid you not, the lady in the lingerie dept took one look at me and said ‘why?’ I was on the dance team at schoool, and at summer practice before my senior year, the faculty sponsor came out one morning hot under the coller about team members who were not wearing proper foundation garments. She started at the other end of the line calling girls out who were not properly supported and handing out demerit point and letters to our moms insisting that better bras must be purchased for practice and performance. Having no bra at all on the hot summer day, I was completely stressed as she worked her way up the line. And walked right past me and my totally unsupported 32AA. (well, I wore that because it’s what I could find, truthfully, the cups were too big.)

In the intervening years, I’ve doubled my weight and aquired boobs. um, yay?

When I needed breastfeeding bras 3 years ago, the lady in the shop actually wanted to do that thing where they try to go up a band size because they don’t have a large enough cup size: mastitis alert! Working boobs need properly fitted bras!

Then breastfeeding came to it’s conclusion and I went back to wearing all my old bras, minus the extenders I’d needed in pregnancy. After another year, I decided by golly, I should get some new bras! I’m evidently NOT going to lose weight, so I might as well make the best of the one good thing about being overweight: boobs. Evidently, I am currently just large enough to find virtually no selection at Macy’s, and just small enough to find virtually no selection at Lane Bryant. The best the lady at Macy’s could find, one that offered the chance to breath and no gappage around the preformed cup, was a da#n reducing bra! Really! Boobs are the only thing I got going for me now, when properly supported they can make my waist look, well, like a waist. And Vanity Fair et al think I’d like to smoosh them down a cup size?