Check out Isabella Rossellini’s Sundance Channel series “Seduce Me” for some truly remarkable information about this critter’s, and others’, sex lives. Did you know that a female bed bug has no prober-receptacle and that the male’s prober-thingie emerges out of his abdomen like a dagger, ready for spearing the female with and then hitting “the wound” with his family-makin’-juice? True. And made wildly interesting in the series. (Not to gross you out, just passin’ along some related offbeat info. Okay. Maybe a little to gross you out. Seems kind of in line with the other comments.)

Probably I don’t need to say this, but giving someone crabs without their consent would almost certainly be deemed assault and therefore NOT legal, contrary to the insouciant assurance to the contrary in the website’s FAQs.