Thursday, August 30, 2007

The hell with the BTN, put me in THE CLONE ZONE!

The Big Ten Network has been taking its lumps for its role in hostage-like negotiations, and rightfully so. There's something confusing and backwards about a network acquiring rights to games before taking care of distribution, but clearly I've got a lot to learn about negotiation and corporate greed.

Anyhoo, if the deal gets done, then you'll pay a little more per month and you'll be able to watch the games. If it doesn't, then you can go somewhere that does get it--either a friend's house or an establishment. Regardless, though the posturing is irritating, it's only moderately inconvenient and expensive.

Not so for Iowa State fans (both of them). Literally the only way they can enjoy tonight's game against Kent State (without putting on National Guard uniforms, anyway) is by entering... the Clone Zone. It's not nearly as cool as it sounds, so quit dreaming of cloned human zombies and explosions.

No, the Clone Zone is a subscription-based internet service that provides exclusive(!!!!!) ISU sports content, including tonight's game against Kent State and the September 22 Toledo game. Seriously. Only on the computer. As far as THE CLONE ZONE goes, the press release breathlessly asks:

Have you ever wanted to watch the weekly or post-game media conferences, take a virtual tour of the locker room, listen to post-practice interviews with student-athletes, view historical footage or coaches’ TV shows or walk with the team on the way to the field?

On behalf of everyone who has ever lived: No.

So Iowa State fans are relegated to sitting inside at their 15" cow-powered computer monitors to watch choppy game footage from a very limited amount of cameras. Certainly Iowa State wouldn't have the temerity to charge their fans anyth

:ac30: Yes, that would be bad. Then I'd have to turn the channel with my remote and watch it, on television, like every Iowa game since 1981. That would be tough. Oh, wait, I have a remote and a television so I can watch the game from my house? Sorry. My bad.