I’m this extremely loud, over the top, share too much of myself type person with strangers and acquaintances. Ironically, I can’t find that same voice in textual format. Every year I vow “this will be the year! This will be the year I write again!” Each year I fail. Each year I vow to find my voice – out loud and inside. Each year I fail.

This past year I had such a huge upheaval in my life. Did I cover it in any blog? Not really. I posted this extremely explanatory photo.

This was a MAJOR event in my life. I had worked in one career for 17 years since I was a teenager. I had dreams and goals for this job. However, at some point in the prior year, I finally decided enough is enough and left for a new opportunity. I’m not sure if I made the right choice or pulled a typical “me” where I make bad choices, but so far it seems like a good path to have gone down. *cross fingers* I won’t know for sure until probably 2014 ends or maybe halfway through the year. For now, I’m in some strange limbo of unknown.

This makes me paranoid. I like to know whats happening and I like to be in control. I don’t like being left behind or not being valued for what I can contribute. I am uncomfortable right now. This makes me even more nutso. I don’t like when people hate me, but its inevitable as I have one of those personalities people

just…hate and find annoying.

To the point: My goals and priorites for 2014:

Re-discover myself – Learn who I was and recover the remnants of my teenage dreams and goals. Reclaim my individuality.

Learn – To be patient, to breathe, to listen and not speak, how to schmooze

Write – I was an avid writer in my youth, but stopped for about 10 years. I can get this back.

Keep my brain active – For the past two years, I started convincing myself I wasn’t as smart as I am. I am still struggling with this issue.

Master something new

Find some friends – I have none, zero, zilch. Even during my horrid middle school years and elementary years, I had at least one friend. I don’t have any real friends for the past years and its taking its toll on me.

Rediscover my fashion – I worked in a job where I wore suits for approximately 13 years. Somehow, along the way I lost my sense of style for myself.

Stop being a victim- Be vocal. If someone is bullying me, tell them. Find a way to stop it. Don’t let myself be a victim again.

Health – I’ve sorely neglected my health for the past few years. Since I took this new job I’ve put on about 20 pounds in four months. I need to lose 50. I’m starting to feel the weight in my knees. I can’t wear half my clothing. This is…upsetting. I’ve also not seen a doctor in two years and before that three. I could have a horrible disease and I wouldn’t know.

There are plenty more priorities in my life this year, but these are my top 10. I am going to utilize this website to discover, flesh out, and work my way through them.