21 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 21

SUCCESS is your guide for personal and professional development through inspiration, motivation and training.

1. Learn to love mistakes

Always remember to learn from your mistakes—and keep growing. Don’t doubt yourself so much. One day you’ll be able look back on your “oops” moments and laugh at them. They are inevitable.

2. Say yes often

Sometimes stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying something new can be terrifying. But learn to say yes more. It’ll help you to open up, try new things—and bring you new opportunities.

3. Less is more

Don’t try to be a jack-of-all-trades. Focus on being really good at just a few things. Hard work is wasted when it’s scattered in too many directions.

4. Tell people how you feel

If someone hurt your feelings, be honest with them. If you’re having an incredible date with someone and it feels absolutely perfect, let them know what you’re thinking. When you hang up the phone with Mom or Dad, tell them “I love you.” Life’s too short not to say it—and you may never really know when you’ll have the opportunity to say how you feel again.

5. Learn to love change

The one thing you can count on is change. It will happen, and you can’t avoid it. It won’t always be easy, but change happens for a reason. Learn to be OK with it.

6. You don’t have as much to lose as you think

Oftentimes, fear of loss is what prevents us from pursuing our dreams. When you’re right out of college, you don’t have much to lose. Why not start that business you always wanted? I guarantee you, your worst-case scenario is not that bad. And moving back in with Mom and Dad isn’t the end of the world.

Letting the opinions of your peers influence your decisions is one of the worst things you can do. You’ll realize later just how foolish it was. The only thing that is important is what you think and feel about yourself.

8. Be honest with yourself and others

Always be true to yourself and others. Period. Honesty gives you peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless. Relationships built on the foundation of lies won’t last.

9. Meet as many new people as you can

It may not always be clear to you, but the people you meet can help you. Treat everyone like you’d like to be treated and be willing to make new friends. The world is smaller than you think. You’ll be amazed at who is connected to whom.

10. Find time to be alone

Being alone can be wonderful. Make time for you to hang out with you. Be your own best friend—take yourself out to lunch, take yourself out to a movie, go on a trip alone. I know, the thought of being alone can be overwhelming and scary. But you’ll learn a lot about yourself by just hanging out with you.

11. Learn to ask great questions

You don’t know everything and odds are you’ll find yourself around people who are a lot smarter than you. Stay curious and ask great questions. Listen more than you talk and keep asking. Some people have incredible stories and lessons to give to you. You just have to willing to ask.

Stevie Wonder can’t see, but he has an exceptional ear for music. He exploited that talent and his passion for music. Today he has 25 Grammy awards to show for it. Learn to work with what you’ve got instead of complaining about your situation.

13. Make people feel good

Never underestimate the power of a simple compliment. Make the people around you feel good, and the world will return the favor. People seem to have a way of remembering the people who made them feel special.

14. Invest in yourself

Never. Stop. Learning. Yes, school ends at some point, but life is a journey, and if you’re not growing, you’re dying. Learn a new skill, read a new book, learn a language, take a class, learn to dance, learn to play an instrument. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you invest in yourself and you keep growing.

You can’t possibly live a fulfilled life until you learn to love yourself completely. When you look in the mirror, tell yourself you’re handsome, or beautiful. Say it often. You’re unique and no one looks quite like you. Embrace it. Love it. Other people will only love you more for it.

17. “Send the elevator back down.” –Kevin Spacey

Once you find yourself in a position to help bring others up to where you are, send the elevator back down. It can be lonely at the top. Help others get to where you are. Mentor, give back, contribute.

18. Enjoy the journey

We all have goals and aspirations. You’re probably working toward something right now. Achieving what you’ve been working for can be anticlimactic, so learn to love the journey and appreciate all the little failures and wins. You’ll wish you’d stayed in the moment more once you’ve “made it.”

Stop comparing yourself to others. You might never be the strongest person in the gym, the richest guy on a Forbes list or the fastest guy in the marathon. If that upsets you, you’re missing the point. Instead, concentrate on being better today than you were yesterday. If you keep doing that, you’ll be successful. It may not happen right away, but if you stay focused on improving just a little every day, you’ll amaze yourself.

20. Take big risks

Go after what you want. Quit your job. Jump out of an airplane. Start a business. Walk up to the beautiful girl eating lunch alone and say hi. You won’t always succeed, but you won’t always fail, either.

21. Rediscover who you were born to be and be that

Somewhere along the line we forget what made us come alive as kids—the things that used to make us feel amazing. Some of us are born to be writers, poets, musicians, artists or entrepreneurs. Take the time to relearn what makes you feel alive and do more of that. Don’t waste your life fulfilling someone else’s dreams. What the world needs is more people doing what they love.

Life is short but incredible. Wake up and enjoy the ride.

“My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement.” –Joe Versus the Volcano

TIME Ideas hosts the world's leading voices, providing commentary on events in news, society, and culture. We welcome outside contributions. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of TIME editors.

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