HERO: A Man In Spain Skipped Work For Six Years Before Anyone Noticed

In a move that seems like one that only our favorite fictional, short, stocky, bald friend could have pulled off, a Spanish man who was employed at a waste treatment facility has got himself into quite a bit of trouble after it was discovered he had not shown up at his job for six years. Of course, he continued to collect a paycheck the entire time.

Joaquin Garcia, 69, oversaw construction work at a waste treatment facility, but quickly discovered that the position didn’t require much for him to do. So, he simply stopped going. Management discovered his ruse at his 20th work anniversary – ha! – at which point they realized Garcia was never showing up to work.

Can you even imagine how that discovery was made?

“Hey, Mac,” said a manager, to a worker who was presumably named Mac. “You seen Garcia? We have an anniversary present we’d like to give him.”

“Hmm, I don’t recall anybody working here by that name,” replied Mac. “Then again, I’ve only worked here since 2011.”

I also would have liked to see Garcia’s response once he got busted. The way I see it, he had two strategies. No. 1, the “my zipper got stuck” defense, which was executed to perfection by one of Mr. Shoop’s students in the 1987 classic, Summer School. And No. 2, Costanza’s very own “Was that wrong?” defense.

Because this entire story feels like it was inspired by Costanza to begin with, we can only hope he went with the latter: