Major PDA at area restaurant

The boyfriend looked at me, then shot his eyes to the right. Next to us, in the restaurant waiting area, a couple about our age shifted uneasily in their seats. She played with the buttons on her coat; he focused on nothing in particular in the distance.

The male half of yet another duo suppressed a smirk. His date snickered. They looked toward us. I raised my eyebrows and shook my head, but said nothing.

A couple on the couch near us was getting hot and heavy. She straddled him and he groped her in ways I thought only a doctor had mastered.

What, I’m sure we all wondered, prompted these two to treat a full-beyond-capacity restaurant as their bedroom? This was not at 1 a.m. at Jillians, it was 8 o’clock on a Saturday night at a trendy, local, moderately priced eatery.

Although they looked old enough to hold graduate degrees, could they both still live with their parents, making privacy a premium? Were they so in love they couldn’t resist ravaging one another? Maybe they were a product of our lax society, where so little is private that the practice of keeping a diary under the mattress is dead, replaced by personal blogs accessible to all.

Or maybe — just maybe — they had heard Usher’s “Let’s Make Love In The Club” on their way to dinner, and they took it literally.

President Obama and his wife, Michelle, took heat in some circles for their romantic ways, such as kissing repeatedly and sharing loving looks while dancing on the day — and evening — of the inauguration.

What nonsense.

But what is the appropriate amount of PDA (public displays of affection, for those who aren’t into acronyms)?

Mistress of politeness Judith Martin, better known as Miss Manners, says being overly affectionate is “childish and it’s silly, and it’s not very considerate of others. People do not respond by thinking, ‘Isn’t it wonderful they are in love?’ People are much more likely to laugh or be slightly puzzled.”

When I told Martin about our experience at the restaurant, she was actually shocked we didn’t laugh — at least not out loud.

Even she admitted that laughter is sometimes hard to control. She added that we did the right thing by not asking the couple to stop. As wrong as their behavior was, criticizing them on the spot is just as classless.

That doesn’t mean you have to keep your hands to yourself.

Holding hands is OK. So is a congratulatory kiss or a smooch when you’re greeting someone, or sending your loved one on his or her way, Martin says.

The Obamas’ PDA (for them, maybe we should call it Presidential Displays of Affection) fall into the “celebratory” category.

“Let’s not get silly about this,” Martin says. “The public displays of affection that upset people are when people are in a stage of lovemaking. Kissing someone good-bye or congratulating them or dancing close is hardly that sort of thing.”

So to act like the Obamas is acceptable, but straddling is “out of the realm of decorum,” as Martin would say.

Ha, I know. But … while their actions seemed “rude” to everyone in the (packed) restaurant, staring at them felt equally rude. It was tough, though, and I did take several glimpses. I mean, they were probably too involved with each other anyway to notice the looks.

Maybe they were working up the courage to give each other matching hickeys? One good thing to her straddling him….there was now one more seat available to those waiting. I mean usually those seats in the waiting area only sit 3 or 4 people so this could become a welcome practice so that not everyone has to sit in the cold doorway.

Sounds awesome. I’d be taking pictures, or if I were on a date I’d just figure might as well do the same thing, why not. It’s rare enough to find someone you have the kind of chemistry with that prompts a full-on makeout session in a restaurant, might as well enjoy it.