A very effective therapy is called DBT. It is for emotionally unstable personality disorder, borderline personality disorder. It teached you how to regulate emotions, rather than feel engulfed by them:

Mindfulness is one of the core concepts behind all elements of DBT. Mindfulness is the capacity to pay attention, non-judgmentally, to the present moment. Mindfulness is all about living in the moment, experiencing one's emotions and senses fully, yet with perspective. It is considered a foundation for the other skills taught in DBT, because it helps individuals accept and tolerate the powerful emotions they may feel when challenging their habits or exposing themselves to upsetting situations. The concept of mindfulness and the meditative exercises used to teach it are derived from traditional Buddhist practice, though the version taught in DBT does not involve any religious or metaphysical concepts.

This is the action of describing the facts, and not thinking about what's "good" or "bad", "fair", or "unfair." These are judgments because this is how you feel about the situation but isn't a factual description. Being non-judgmental helps to get your point across in an effective manner without adding a judgment that someone else might disagree with.

One-Mindfully

This is used to focus on one thing. One-mindfully is helpful in keeping your mind from straying into emotion mind by a lack of focus.

Effectively

This is simply doing what works. It is a very broad-ranged skill and can be applied to any other skill to aid in being successful with said skill.[8]

Many current approaches to mental health treatment focus on changing distressing events and circumstances. They have paid little attention to accepting, finding meaning for, and tolerating distress. This task has generally been tackled by psychodynamic, psychoanalytic, gestalt, or narrative therapies, along with religious and spiritual communities and leaders. Dialectical behavior therapy emphasizes learning to bear pain skillfully.

Distress tolerance skills constitute a natural development from DBT mindfulness skills. They have to do with the ability to accept, in a non-evaluative and nonjudgmental fashion, both oneself and the current situation. Although this is a nonjudgmental stance, this does not mean that it is one of approval or resignation. The goal is to become capable of calmly recognizing negative situations and their impact, rather than becoming overwhelmed or hiding from them. This allows individuals to make wise decisions about whether and how to take action, rather than falling into the intense, desperate, and often destructive emotional reactions that are part of borderline personality disorder.

Individuals with borderline personality disorder and suicidal individuals are frequently emotionally intense and labile. They can be angry, intensely frustrated, depressed, or anxious. This suggests that these clients might benefit from help in learning to regulate their emotions. Dialectical behavior therapy skills for emotion regulation include:[9][10]

Used to understand what kind of emotion one is feeling. To use this, list the following:

Prompting event

Interpretation of the event

Body sensations

Body language

Action urge

Action

Emotion name, based on previous items on list.

PLEASE MASTER

Having ineffective health habits can make one more vulnerable to emotion mind. This skill is used to maintain a healthy body so one is more likely to have healthy emotions. It is an acronym that stands for the following:

PhysicaL Illness (treat): If you are sick or injured, get proper treatment for it.

Eating (balanced): Make sure you eat a proper healthy diet, and eat in moderation.

Avoid Mood-Altering Drugs: Do not take non-prescribed medication or illegal drugs. They are very harmful to your body, and can make your mood unpredictable.

Sleep (balanced): Do not sleep too much or too little. 8 hours of sleep is recommended per night for the average adult.

Exercise: Make sure you get an effective amount of exercise as this will both improve body image, and release endorphins (making you happier).

MASTERy (build): Try to do one thing a day to help build competence and control.

Opposite Action

This skill is used when you have an unjustified emotion, one that doesn't belong in the situation at hand. You use it by doing the opposite of your urges in the moment. It is a tool to bring you out of an unwanted or unjustified emotion by replacing it with the emotion that is opposite.

Problem Solving

This is used to solve a problem when your emotion is justified. It is used in combination with other skills.

Interpersonal response patterns taught in DBT skills training are very similar to those taught in many assertiveness and interpersonal problem-solving classes. They include effective strategies for asking for what one needs, saying no, and coping with interpersonal conflict.

Individuals with borderline personality disorder frequently possess good interpersonal skills in a general sense. The problems arise in the application of these skills to specific situations. An individual may be able to describe effective behavioral sequences when discussing another person encountering a problematic situation, but may be completely incapable of generating or carrying out a similar behavioral sequence when analyzing his or her own situation.

The interpersonal effectiveness module focuses on situations where the objective is to change something (e.g., requesting that someone do something) or to resist changes someone else is trying to make (e.g., saying no). The skills taught are intended to maximize the chances that a person's goals in a specific situation will be met, while at the same time not damaging either the relationship or the person's self-respect.

Acronym for the skillset used to aid you in getting what you want when you ask:

Describe your situation.

Express why this is an issue and how you feel about it.

Assert yourself by asking clearly for what you want.

Reinforce your position by offering a positive consequence if you were to get what you want.

Mindful of the situation by focusing on what you want and ignore distractions.

Appear Confident even if you don't feel confident.

Negotiate with a hesitant person and come to a comfortable compromise on your request.

GIVE - giving something

This is a skill that can aid you with maintaining your relationships, whether they are friendships, coworkers, family, romantic, etc. It is to be used in conversations. It is another acronym that stands for the following:

Gentle: Use appropriate language, no verbal or physical attacks, no put downs, avoid sarcasm unless you are sure the person is alright with it, and be courteous and non-judgmental.

Interested: When the person you are speaking to is talking about something, act interested in what they are saying. Maintain eye contact, ask questions, etc. Do not use your cell phone while having a conversation with another person!

Validate: Show that you understand a person's situation and sympathize with them. Validation can be shown through words, body language and/or facial expressions.

Easy Manner: Be calm and comfortable during conversation, use humor, smile.

FAST - keeping self respect

This is a skill to aid you in maintaining your self-respect. It is to be used in combination with the other Interpersonal Effectiveness skills. It is another acronym, and it stands for the following:

Fair: Be fair to both yourself and the other person.

Apologies (few): Don't apologize more than once for what you have done ineffectively, or apologize for something which was not ineffective.

Stick to Your Values: Stay true to what you believe in and stand by it. Don't allow others to get you to do things against your values.

Truthful: Don't lie. Lying can only pile up and damage relationships and your self-respect.

Chain analysis is a form of functional analysis of behavior but with increased focus on sequential events that form the behavior chain. It has strong roots in behavioral psychology in particular applied behavior analysis concept of chaining.[11] A growing body of research supports the use of behavior chain analysis with multiple populations.

Please click ACCEPT. Thank you.

You should ask your therapist about this therapy that I just wrote to you about.

Dialectical behavior therapy. If she is not familiar with it, ask for a referral to someone who is. There have been many promising results and success storied using this therapy for people with emotionally unstable personality disorder.

You have to stay the course and commit to it, but it can be very beneficial.

Please do click ACCEPT for the time and assistance I have given to help you. Otherwise, I'm not credited for my assistance. Thank you.

I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

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