1605 Go Where You Are Celebrated

Today we’re talking about the importance of finding the right kind of support when building your big dreams, and about why you need to go where you are celebrated, rather than trying to stick it out in a situation that no longer feels right for you.

Now I’ve talked before on the blog about the importance of your connections and how the people you surround yourself with will either help or hinder your own ability to build your dreams and achieve your goals, and it’s something that I discuss in my new book fearLESS. I cannot overemphasize how important this is and how much of an impact the people around you can have on your ability to succeed in life.

The right connections are important

Building a dream is a process, and on that road, there will be times when you hit bumps and snags and having the support of other people will help you get through it much more easily. Likewise, when something goes really well for you, it’s so much more fun when you have people around you who are genuinely happy to you see you succeed and will be there to celebrate your success with you.

It’s so important to surround yourself with other like-minded dream-builders so that you have that kind of support, and so that you can BE that support for others.

The “fit” of a group can change over time

On the flip side, however, if you’re mixed up with a group of people that aren’t supportive of you – who get upset with you when you’re genuinely excited about something good that’s happened; people who make you feel like your dreams aren’t worthy, or who make you feel like they’d be happier to see you fail… then this is a big problem.

And one of the things you need to keep in mind is this: the “fit” of a group can change over time. Just because a group felt right to you when you first became a part of it, does not mean that it will always be the right group for you. Just as your dreams change and evolve over time, right along with you, the kind of group you need around you may change, too.

When being in a group makes you feel bad

I had an experience recently that really reinforced this whole concept for me.

I had belonged to a particular networking group for several of years. When I first joined it, I felt like I had found my online home, with a group of other people who were all working towards their own big dreams. Over time, though, the group dynamics started changing. I don’t know whether it was the increasing size of the group, or the increasing profile of the group. But I started getting signs that made me question whether or not this was the right place for me anymore, especially given the fact that it involved a monthly paid membership fee.

There were several little things that had started happening that made me start to feel like I wasn’t welcome in the group anymore. At first I told myself I was being overly sensitive and I was reading motives into things that might not actually be there (which is easy enough to do in an online situation). But these things kept happening, and started becoming more overt.

It’s not worth the stress and anxiety

So me being me, I started to get really anxious and to turn the situation over and over in my mind trying to figure out what had happened and “where things went wrong”. And then I started to realize just how much time I was spending thinking about and worrying about this situation.

And I realized it just wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth the anxiety, it wasn’t worth the hurt feelings, it wasn’t worth the self-doubt. And it sure wasn’t worth putting up with all of that, given the amount of money I was paying every month to subject myself to it!

Pursue greatness anyways

And then a quote floated across my Twitter feed and it said: “Even at your best, someone will have something negative to say. Pursue greatness anyways.”

That was when I realized that I needed to follow my own advice and let go. Even if I was completely misinterpreting the situation, even if none of this was directed at me, that was how I was feeling. And it was affecting my vibration.

Walk away from sources of negativity

There’s another quote out there that says: “Go where you are celebrated, not merely tolerated.” And I realized that this is what I’d been doing by staying in the group; I was staying in a place where I felt tolerated out of some misplaced sense of loyalty or obligation, based on how long I had already been with this group.

I realized that my constant worrying about this situation was affecting my ability to keep working towards my dreams. This group had become a big source of negativity in my life; it was no longer the supportive, positive, inspirational place for me that it had once been, and I realized that it was time for me to walk away.

So I did. I cancelled my membership and am no longer a part of that group.

Go where you are celebrated

And that’s my piece of advice for you today: if you’re in a situation where the dynamics of the tribe you once had has shifted so much that it has become a drain on your energy and vibration, where it’s causing you more harm than good, then just let go and walk away.

Don’t stay in a place where you no longer feel welcome, or where you feel that you aren’t being treated well. Cut those ties and step forward into something new. Find the places where you will be celebrated and where you, in turn, can joyfully celebrate others.