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Maggie has been under the weather for the last few days. She missed two days of school earlier in the week because she was vomiting. Yesterday, she felt good enough to attend school, but then told us that she spent half of the day in and out of bathrooms: gastrointestinal issues.

She barely ate dinner, and when she said she still felt ill, I was putting the dishes away and happened to notice the bananas on top of the refrigerator.

“Honey, eat a banana. Maybe even try to eat two.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because bananas are binding, and you will feel better.”

“What do you mean, binding?”

“They help make things in your intestines solid so that you won’t have the issues you are having.”

“Mom, that’s gross.”

Ah, a typical teenager, complaining about how miserable she feels, but when her mum offers advice, she turns it down as sheer lunacy.

A few hours later, I was lying in bed watching the DVR’d Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when I saw my phone light up. I looked over and the text was from Mags. Yes, the same Maggie who was lying on the couch one floor below me, a wee small flight of stairs away.

9:53PMThis banana thing is no joke.

You feel better?

no but I feel the bananaWhat does that mean?

idk I feel weirdYou know you’re not supposed to put it up your butt, right?