Three things that drive designers batty at the cottage

...and what you can do about them

When scouting cottages for HGTV's Summer Home, my team and I coined the term "the trifecta of ugly." As soon as we walked through the door, we knew that if we were greeted by an angled wood-burning stove, it meant that a faux-wood fan and an amber stained-glass dome pendant light were sure to follow.

Photograph by: Handout photos
, National Post

When scouting cottages for HGTV's Summer Home, my team and I coined the term "the trifecta of ugly." As soon as we walked through the door, we knew that if we were greeted by an angled wood-burning stove, it meant that a faux-wood fan and an amber stained-glass dome pendant light were sure to follow. I realize this doesn't sound so unattractive, but let me break it down for you.

Most wood-burning stoves I've come across in the woods are on an angle, which makes furniture placement challenging. In addition to the angle issue, the stove is always set against a backdrop of red fauxbrick veneer and elevated on a stage of ceramic tile (like dirty mustard) that's in complete contrast to the colour of the floor.

The second part of the trio is a giant fan covered in faux-wood veneer and accented with gold plumber's pull chains. Sometimes these fans even come with large frosted floral glass shades that allow you to read the wattage of your bulb. Dark brown fans like this are usually found in the middle of a white ceiling above the sofa, so that when you stand up, the chains graze your head.

Last of the threesome is the amber glass dome pendant, also known as the Pizza Parlor Pendant. If you went to a birthday party at Mother's Pizza between 1972 and 1992, you'll know this dinner light well.

Sarcasm aside, the trio drives cottage owners crazy. Collectively or independently, each part of the trio is a serenity buster. They're not top-of-the-list repairs, they're just unsightly. If you've recently purchased a summer home or perhaps inherited your grandparents' cottage and want to deal with the existing triad now, don't fret. You don't have to spend a bundle.

When it comes to the woodburning stove, the obvious option is to remove and replace it with a fireplace that's centred on the wall. Many people like the nostalgia of a wood-burning stove. I've also developed an admiration for the wood-burning stove since spending so much time in cottage country. The key is to integrate the stove with your decor. Remove the standout tile and have your contactor lower the stage, meaning you don't need to put your stove on a three-inch platform. Stoves generally require 18 inches in front and six inches on the back and sides of non-combustible area beneath the stove.

Replace the contrasting tile with one that's close to the colour of your existing floors and then paint that faux-brick the same colour as the walls. You can straighten the wood-burning stove. In the above photo, we ignored the angle and arranged the furniture on a grid as though the stove was invisible.

You have a couple options when it comes to the fan. If your fan is hung high enough so that the pull chains don't touch anyone's head, you can spray paint it. Rustoleum's Painter's Touch in Heirloom White is fast drying and will give you a smooth finish. If your walls are white, your giant fan should disappear. The better option, however, is to replace it. White fans work well in rooms with white ceilings and walls. Similarly, wood or copper finishes look great in cedar cottages. We chose a stainless steel fan because it camouflaged well against our painted grey-blue ceiling. For the latest in fans try The Northern Fan (northernfan.com) and The Modern Fan Company (modernfan.com)

Light fixtures that look like they belong outside always look great inside the cottage. Think large clear glass lanterns, rustic iron orbs and vintage barn pendants. Second-hand shops in cottage country are fantastic lighting sources, but even hardware stores and big box stores will have a good selection of outdoor lights that you can use in your living and dining rooms. These days, I'm loving the cottage lighting selection at Restoration Hardware (restorationhardware.com). Sorry, there's simply no facelift or disguise for the Pizza Parlor Pendant. You'll need to replace it, unless the look you're trying to create is '70s spaghetti house.

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When scouting cottages for HGTV's Summer Home, my team and I coined the term "the trifecta of ugly." As soon as we walked through the door, we knew that if we were greeted by an angled wood-burning stove, it meant that a faux-wood fan and an amber stained-glass dome pendant light were sure to follow.

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