Wednesday, February 28, 2018

#118Big episode this week! I've been writing plenty lately and wanted to discuss a few things. In this episode:Black Panther Quick Review/Reaction (SPOILERS)
At the time of this writing(a week after the movie's release), Black Panther has made more money in one week than Justice League has in its entire theatrical run. More than Star Wars the Last Jedi has in it's the first week of release. To date, its made over half a billion dollars at the box office worldwide.This movie similar to Wonder Woman is a societal event. Where director Patty Jenkins' film speaks to women, this movie does the same for the African American community. But it's not only a particular gender or race that's coming out to see these movies. Everyone is.I found the movie to be one of the most contemporary Marvel movies to date. Especially with the soundtrack(curated by Kendrick Lamar)and Micheal B. Jordan having a real inner-city swag. This spoke to me as hip-hop culture has been a massive influence in my life.I found the movie to be graceful and strong. Especially the interactions between T'challa and his father. It even got me a little emotional at times.My complaints with the film; the final fight between Kill Monger and Black Panther on the train track. Very CG heavy, and not fulfilling. Also, after Micheal B. Jordan is stabbed, he just gives up. He was a resilient bad-ass throughout the film. I expected he would continue fighting until the very end.I love how some of the more recent Marvel movies have had an extra unique flavor. Such as Doctor Strange, Thor Ragnarok, Logan, and now Black Panther. More superhero movies of this caliber? Yes, please.Altered Carbon series Review (SPOILERS)Watching the first two episodes of this show, admittedly I was bored.I follow Netflix on Instagram. They posted an image from the show asking for viewers thoughts. I remember Gary Vee saying in an interview with Lewis Howes, to get involved with the conversation and comment on things that interest you.I commented on the post stating my feelings. Someone replied 'stick with it it gets better.' Seven episodes in I was hooked. The show is visually amazing. My favorite character is the A.I.-Poe who runs the Raven hotel. He's very charming in an innocent, mischevious way. Joel Kinnaman is hit or miss for me. He's great in House of Cards, but forgettable in the Robocop remake. He's ok here.The show follows a standard detective noir premise with a futuristic sci-fi twist. The chain-smoking private eye sleeps with the client's wife. She is involved in some way in the client's murder.Where I found the show especially interesting was how people continued their existence by living in different 'sleeves.' This was done through a chip located on the backs of their necks which held their 'soul.' The more well-to-do characters would regularly backup their essence similar to copying and storing files on our computers today. I can see this happening in real life, but not within my lifetime.Maybe.I found Takeshi Kovacs (the main character)backstory muddled. It seemed in the first episode he had special abilities to see through walls and notice the protectorate soldiers. But this wasn't brought up again. Or when he went from his first sleeve as actor Will Yun Lee to the next as actor Byron Mann. I found his love interest Martha Higerada(who played Ortega)to be very sexy. Her robot arm replacement she acquires later in the show was very cool. Speaking of beautiful women, the actress who plays Miriam Bancroft(Kristin Lehman) is gorgeous.Kovacs sister Rei being the main antagonist was fantastic, Mr. Leung, her right hand was the most hated villain in the show(for me). His death, in the end, may not have been as satisfying, but his pleading for his life was.The Elliotts' storyline was tumultuous but confusing. I enjoyed how the daughter, Lizzie became a badass. I didn't understand how she transformed the sleeve she inhabited near the end, to look like her. I'm not saying I need everything explained, but it helps.The show ends with Kovacs beginning the search for his mentor/lover Quell Falconer who was thought to be dead. Quell was solid but I didn't find their romance believable. I liked Joel Kinnaman returning his sleeve in the end. It opens up to the main character being played by another actor in the next season.It isn't perfect, but Altered Carbon was entertaining.Minimalism? Maybe Not.Minimalism inspires me. I've practiced it. The benefits of minimalism as I understand; less stuff more happiness. However, reading a recent tweet by James Altucher; I restarted accumulating stuff I swore off.The tweet said something, along the lines of..when we are in our 40s we tend to rediscover our interests from our 20s. Right before my recent trip to Jamaica, I began re-acquiring most of my vlogging equipment I'd sold. Why? Why did I get rid of it in the first place? First, I like to vlog. 2nd, I felt I was practicing Minimalism by getting rid of the items I don't use daily.Other items from passing interests I've put up for sale in my eBay store; cooking, bicycling and video gaming.I was on vacation from work recently; I had more time on my hands than usual. I had an urge to play video games, the way I use to in my 20s and 30s. Lately, I've been listening to the Gamertag Radio podcast. This has also influenced me to get back into gaming. A perfect example of you are what you eat/watch/listen to.The electronic devices I use the most, even for my entertainment are my apple devices. Such as my ipads, phones. I tried to relegate my video game desire to just playing on those devices, but I missed that controller experience. I purchased a portable monitor and PlayStation 3. Took it home, enjoyed it. I felt immediately guilty the next day and returned the items to GameStop for a full refund. This was before I read the tweet by Mr. Altucher, who's been a significant influence.After I read this, I went to Best Buy, purchased a TV and another ps3. I enjoyed action figures as well when I was a kid. I stopped by a Toys R Us and picked up some figures I thought looked cool. I also bought some lego sets to build on a random day. Last year I did the same and made a video of these toys interacting with each other. Fun stuff!I love cooking as well. I recently went vegan (again) and wanted to try new recipes. I purchased several cooking appliances, ingredients. To date, I've made gluten-free cookies, air fried fries, (liquid) cheese, ketchup and cauliflower pizza. More fun!Finally, I'm in the process of buying a new bicycle with all the accouterments. I could've fished out the old bike from storage, but freshening things up from the old gear is energizing.Buying all these things again I see as an investment. Any time money becomes tight, as it currently has after vacation, I will sell these items and make some pocket money to hold me over. I won't get the same amount I initially paid, but some money is better than no money.I'm revisiting all these past interests, and it feels good.When I was younger, all this stuff purposely kept me occupied from myself, my feelings. Current day I have some pain regarding relationships in my life, less than before.Now, I'm ok with silence. Walking outside enjoying the weather, no phone, with only my thoughts. Giving my eyeballs a break from all these screens.So I'm re-negging on minimalism. I think it's great, but I like having the stuff that interests me at the ready. I'm not saying no to some form of minimalism. If I buy something and don't use it for 4-6 months, that is going up for sale quick!I Can Be Easily Offended by Family & FriendsIf a co-worker, friend or family member tells me something that bothers me I can be very quickly hurt. What happens after that, I shut down and don't want to speak with them. I feel they don't deserve my time. I can have a very high opinion of myself most of the time.I then think if I were to die within the next 24 hours, would I die angry or upset with this individual?Would I forgive them, spend time with them afterward?In the end, any person I know who falls into any of these three categories(co-worker, family, friend), I wish them well whether we talk again or not. I want to speak with them yet, my pride/ego gets the best of me.My parent's divorce hasn't given me much faith in long-term romantic relationships. When it comes to people in general, I feel that friends and lovers come and go like seasons. Life happens, people are transient, and that's ok. Don't we need friends, family to talk to?DJ Mix1. 'Panic Room' - Au/Ra2. 'Say Something' - Justin Timberlake3. 'Heart Attack' - Tune-Yards4. 'Kites' -N.E.R.D.5. 'King's Dead' - Jay Rock6. 'Man Down' - Shakka7. 'Pine & Ginger' - Amindi K. Fro$t8. 'Oh Yeah' - Vybz Kartel9. 'Nothing Wild' - Mr. Vegas10. 'Everything Ah Work' - Mr. Vegas11. 'Follow da Leadah' - Mr. Vegas

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

I try updating my social media/podcast/website pictures every 3 months or so. It's something I learned from Lewis Howes. You want to have fresh images to represent yourself. Korie Genius (previous podcast guest whose interview you can see/hear at this link ) is one of the two photographers I use. Here's a quick video and sample of a few pics.Any thoughts comments, please do so below or by visiting http://www.improveandhavefun.comPrevious Episode: Going MGTOW http://bit.ly/2oflVWRYou can contact me by calling to texting 201-429-0274. If you leave a voicemail please be aware, you only have 3 minutes. Email me a improveandhavefun@gmail.comSocial MediaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/paul_pvp_perez/

#117Last year I heard a couple of interviews with Jesse Itzler. He was promoting his book 'Living With A Seal.' The gist of the book, do the hard, uncomfortable thing. Do the thing that scares you. This is where personal growth happens. I was motivated by this and looked to challenge myself. Here are three of ways I did so.Naked YogaBeing publicly naked I thought, I have to try this. As with all of these activities, I was very intimidated at first. I didn't want anyone staring at me. I kept my gaze straight forward most of the time during the class. I did sneak a few peeks as we changed positions. After a while, it wasn't so bad. I've done it three times to date and have enjoyed it each time.Rejection TherapyThe group organizers had a list of activities we were to do in public. Then, in turn, our unaware test subjects(i.e. 'the public') would tell us 'no.' Ridiculous activities such as asking someone out on a date, hugging a stranger, ask for a selfie with nearby shoppers. I went out with a group of other gentlemen who'd done this before. This put me at ease. I've done this activity one time but look forward to revisiting it sometime this year. I found both Rejection Therapy and Naked Yoga on Meetup.com.Teaching a dance classMost of the people who follow me on social media know me from dancing. I've been dancing socially at parties since I was 15. I thought why not capitalize on this and teach a dance class. Dancehall specifically. I taught a solo class 3 years ago, and 1 person showed up. This crushed my confidence and turned me away from attempting this again. A burning feeling started to emerge in late 2017.When I would dance practice at the gym, I visualized myself teaching. I bit the bullet and decided to commit. 3 friends showed up this time, I was flattered. I feel it went well.These 3 activities have bolstered my spirit of adventure. They've made me mentally stronger and more capable of facing (most)upcoming fears head-on.I bunch problems into this same space. Work problems specifically. I'm changing my focus to look forward to them as opportunities to test my skills and learn new solutions to old challenges.2018 is going to be great.Any thoughts comments, please do so below or by visiting http://www.improveandhavefun.comPrevious Episode: Going MGTOW http://bit.ly/2oflVWRYou can contact me by calling to texting 201-429-0274. If you leave a voicemail please be aware, you only have 3 minutes. Email me a improveandhavefun@gmail.comSocial MediaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/paul_pvp_perez/

Monday, February 12, 2018

#116In this episode I talk about going MGTOW.I enjoy Stefan Molyneaux's material. He's a philosopher, podcaster, YouTuber, and author. In his recent review of the Last Jedi movie, he mentioned MGTOW. I became curious and started looking up information on this acronym.What is MGTOW?Who runs the world? Depends on who you ask. James Brown sang that 'It's a Man's Man's Man's World,' but a lot of men living in modern western societies would beg to differ. A few men against the double standards in gender roles and other conditions that favor women and disadvantage men have become part of a pseudonymous online community known as MGTOWPronounced 'big-tau', MGTOW stands for Men Going Their Own Way. This movement originated on the web and added more fuel to the fire on the ongoing battle of the sexes. According to their website. MGTOW is for men who wish to preserve their sovereignty above all else.History of MGTOWThough this movement seems to have originated online, its ideologies are not new, and some of its ideas go back as far as Ancient Rome and Greece. In fact, most cultures have a historic and natural link to very MGTOW-like ideas.The book 'The Age of the Bachelor' shows that misogamy is not a new concept and that there are records of men avoiding marriage and choosing the bachelor lifestyle. In 1896, Ernest Belfort Bax summarized why men should resist marriage in his essay, 'The Matrimonial Privileges of Women.' This essay outlines 12 key points on why marriage puts men at an unjust disadvantage and leaves them vulnerable to deception and fraud at the hands of their wives.In 1898, a group of men formed the 'Anti-Bardell Bachelor Band.' This club's motto was Solomon's proverb, which stated that it is better for a man to live alone in the corner of a house, than in a wide room with a brawling woman. This club's mandate was to oppose marriage and to fight for the liberty of men. All this information points to the fact that misogamy, which is a key tenet of MGTOW, is not a new concept.Why did it come about?As with all ideologies and movements, there is a lot of debate over who is a 'real MGTOW.' However, there are always crucial principles that members of these changes adhere to. For example, regardless of the various sects and denominations, all Christians believe that Jesus is the son of God. In the same vein, all MGTOW members believe in recognizing how modern societies work when it comes to the role of the sexes and refusing to feed or buy into this system. The following are dominant MGTOW beliefs:1. Women are hypergamous. This means that they will always look for the most potent partner they can get through marriage. Today, wealth is equated to power, and a lot of women will look for a rich man to marry. However, in their younger years, a woman may temporarily hook up with a man who is physically compelling and attractive.2. Females are intrinsically hedonistic. This means that they are materialistic and often pursue sexual pleasure, even though she may be ashamed to admit this.3. Several social and political changes in Western societies are detrimental to men. Some of the issues raised by MGTOW include 'no-fault' divorces, child custody battles that favor women, easy access to abortion, the contraceptive pill, and unjust alimony claims. All these changes have made it a lot easier for women to trade up their partner for a more powerful man while allowing the state and her former husband to support her. The different social and cultural changes have made it possible for a woman to divorce her husband and leave him without his children or his home.4. The MGTOW movement argues against some of the claims made by feminists and social observers. They point out that suicide rates are very high in men compared to women, and that men are over-represented in fatal and dirty jobs such as construction work and the military. MGTOW argue that most women have the chance to live long and healthy lives at the emotional and material expense of men.5. Men are subject to a double standard that expects them to protect women while still accommodating demands for equality. MGTOW argue that women are allowed to 'have their cake and eat it.' Women want a lot of chivalric deference when it comes to certain aspects, but they want to be treated as equals in other aspects. Phrases such as 'Man Up' are frowned upon by the MGTOW movement because they require a man to fit into a certain gender mold and provide for a woman, while still enduring the risk of losing everything he has 'manned up' and worked for in case of a divorce.6. MGTOW are against a behavior known as 'white knighting.' This involves conforming to chivalric traditions such as buying women gifts or defending her social views publicly. Members of the movement view this behavior as self-defeating, as they argue that the man will be emotionally and financially used up, after which the woman will discard him for a more powerful male. Men who have developed white-knighting capabilities and are unable to determine the direction of their lives are referred to as 'mangina,' which is a vulgar term for complete surrender to a woman.7. Men who believe in MGTOW ideas say that they have taken 'the red pill.' This is a reference to the Matrix Film, in which Neo swallows a red pill and becomes aware of the true nature of the world and his imprisonment in an artificial reality. Members will often refer to their life before they discovered the MTGOW movement as their 'blue pill' life.8. Because of all the disadvantages men face, the movement feels that there is no way men can ever win in any heterosexual relationship with women. As a result, the only way forward is for men to 'go their own way' until society either reforms or collapses. They argue that this move helps protect men's financial, emotional, and social well-being. However, the intention of men going their way is not selfish. A lot of men in this movement spend time discussing how to improve themselves financially and how to leave a legacy.What are the levels of MGTOW?1. Situational awarenessMen in this group are aware that the odds are stacked against them when it comes to relationships, but they are still willing to take the risk. They know that they are disadvantaged, but they do not necessarily reject this system. While they are different from people who are living a blue pill life and who still wallow in propaganda about patriarchy, they do not entirely fit into the MGTOW movement or label.2. Rejection of long-term relationshipsMen at this level reject all long-term relationships, including marriage and cohabitation. The argument is that there is no reason for men to get married today. When the marriage goes south, the children could be ripped from the man at a moment's notice, and he may never be allowed to see them again. Furthermore, women do not have any social or legal obligation to men, yet men are required to carry all traditional obligations while still conforming to progressive commitments.3. Rejection of short-term relationshipsMembers in this level reject any personal relationship with women, including friendships, one-night stands, and dating. Contact is kept at a minimum, and all conversations must be professional. The main reasons for this include broadening definitions of sexual assault and sexual harassment. For example, most members are against heaping culpability on men while removing culpability in women for their actions when defining rape, such as in situations where both parties were drunk when they engaged in sex.4. Economic disengagementAt this level, a man strives to produce just enough for his survival. He does as much work as possible off the books to reduce taxation and keeps himself in the lowest tax bracket reasonable without negatively affecting his standard of living or way of life. In reality, men do not require a lot of resources to be content. However, women drive most of the consumption in the modern world. Therefore, the best way to incentivize a man to work hard and create was to encourage him to get a family. Even after he loses his family, the law continues to inspire him to produce by requiring him to pay alimony and child support. Economic disengagement is a way for MGTOW members to shun this system.5. Societal rejectionThis involves completely understanding how society works and rejecting the entire system. An MGTOW in this level will minimize all contact with the blue pill world out of disdain or a desire to protect himself. He may interact with others due to his job or public duty. However, this interaction is kept professional and at a minimum. In extreme situations, the MGTOW member may leave the current society altogether and look for a less misandric country to live in.Why is MGTOW more prevalent today?Most MGTOW views balk at current social and cultural conventions in the Western world, which is why a lot of the debate is limited to anonymous posts in forums. However, misogamy and the fight for the liberty of the male is as old as antiquity.In the past, a lot of people who decided to live as bachelors were shamed, and some countries enacted a bachelor tax. However, the internet has made it easier for men who are against misandry to express themselves and to connect with others who have similar beliefs.Another factor that has contributed to the rise of MGTOW is extreme or toxic feminism. Misandric societies continuously enact laws that favor women to the detriment of men. In most of these cases, men cannot speak up out of fear of being called misogynistic or sexist. Most of these men have gone underground and chosen to become part of the MGTOW movement.Did MGTOW show up in the recent Star Wars: The Last Jedi movie?Some of the things that most people found appealing in the old Star Wars movies were the Jedi's and Luke Skywalker. The latest movie provides a fascinating look at the relationship between the sexes in most workplaces. A lot of MGTOW members feel that the latest film was a misandric mess, though there are instances of male characters who chose to go their way. For example, Poe Dameron defies direct orders from his boss. He leads his revel air force to victory, though there are also a lot of casualties. He is reprimanded and slapped by Leia for not understanding the chain of command. He is even demoted for his trouble.When Leia goes into a coma, she is replaced by Vice Admiral Holdo, who doesn't feel the need to tell Poe Dameron everything about their mission. She urges Poe to stick to his post and follow orders, but he ignores her. Several rebel fighters die as a result of this. When Leia and Holdo finally let Poe in on their plans, he blabs it loudly enough for a DJ to hear them and sell them out. There is a subtle message that women are usually right and men are mostly wrong.MGTOW feel that most male heroes in the movies have been replaced by female ones. Admiral Holdo is the heroine in this franchise, as she jumped into hyperspace and sacrificed herself for The Resistance. When Finn tries to do the same, Rose stops him and then proclaims that she saved him.ConclusionThere are a lot of misconceptions about the MGTOW movement. There are people who merely think it is a group of bitter men who have a list of jilted female lovers they are angry about. There are others who believe that MGTOW members are conservatives who are afraid of losing their male privilege. However, both of these accusations could not be further from the truth. A lot of conservatives are pro-marriage, and they would be the first to request men to 'man up' and fulfill their gender roles. Most MGTOW members have been in relationships. However, after a logical risk-benefit analysis and cost-benefit analysis, they have concluded that it is not worth it to pursue any romantic relationship with women. These members would like to continue this path peacefully without being shamed by society for their decisions.Am I MGTOW?I'm a child of divorced parents. I believe this has affected my relationships with women for years. Mostly in the commitment area. I would date someone for 2-3 months and end it. I think this was out of fear of potentially getting my heart broken.In 2017, I attempted to get back into the dating scene. I read books, listened to podcasts. Spent money on subscriptions to Match.com and OkCupid. I also tried Coffee Meets Bagel, Tinder, Bumble. I sent numerous emails, met a person and went on a couple of dates, but she wasn't what I was looking for.Many attempts but little to no action. I tried this for about six months and just stopped. I went the route of hiring sex workers when feeling horny; I haven't looked back.This was one of those things I was afraid to do. I still get nervous when I'm doing it. Each situation has been positive but not perfect, and that's ok.This is where I think I'm going MGTOW. Choosing to not date, to not chase women. In the long term, there is less money spent moving in this direction. I will save my money for other endeavors such as travel or my various projects.Or is this just an excuse to stop trying to date because its hard. I know anything worthwhile is difficult. The key word being 'thing.' Dealing with people can be unpredictable. Working with a 'thing' typically has a desired outcome.This is another experiment in a life full of experiments. That in itself is exciting.LINKSDating Women Podcast http://bit.ly/2Efz7kLMindful Habit Podcast http://bit.ly/2C740WDMGTOW official website http://bit.ly/2nOUt2bSandman's YouTube channel (MGTOW Resource) http://bit.ly/1DEMbddAny thoughts comments, please do so below or by visiting http://www.improveandhavefun.comPrevious Episode: 48 Hours No Cell Phone http://bit.ly/2DXou9PYou can contact me by calling to texting 201-429-0274. If you leave a voicemail please be aware, you only have 3 minutes. Email me a improveandhavefun@gmail.comSocial MediaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/paul_pvp_perez/