Girl 4: This is so cool! How do you get some completestranger to drive us over to Russel Simmons’s party?

Girl 3: I know how she did it! (They all laugh)

Girl 2: You guys! It wasn’t like that! It was thecoolest. I saw this old guy sleeping on a table, Iwoke him up and he says he drives us wherever we wantto go.

Girl 1: Well, I’m ready to party! Where is this guy?

(Billy Joel gets in the driver’s seat and he’ssinging)

Billy Joel: Sing us a song you’re the piano man, sing us asong tonight. (Stops singing) Hello ladies! I’ll beyour chauffeur tonight. Billy Joel’s my name,driving’s the game! You may also know some of mysongs. “Piano man” “Uptown girl” “Still rock and rollto me” Nothing? (Girls nod their heads no) Ah, nobiggy. Where are you off to ladies?

Girl 1: We’re going to Russell Simmons’s house. (Theytake off)

Billy Joel: Been there many times. I’ve pissed on that poolbefore if you know what I mean.

Girl 3: No. What do you mean?

Billy Joel: I went to the bathroom in the pool. I think Ishould warn you I’m an excellent driver.

Girl 3: You look really familiar.

Billy Joel: Yeah, I’m Billy Joel. (Sings) You had to be abig shot, didn’t ya? Had to open up your mouth! (Stopssinging) Nothing? Oh, well what the hell! We’re in theHamptons. I can drive these streets blind.

Billy Joel: Oh!, couple of trash cans on the street! Uh…what was I saying?

Girl 2: Pay attention to the road, mister!

Billy Joel: You don’t need to worry about that. I’m anexcellent captain. I also wrote this littlediddy. (sings) Bottle of red, bottle of white… (stopssinging and once again turns to the backseat) ActuallyI got a bottle in the backseat probably.

(Mailbox crashes into the car and it lands right inthe middle of the windshield completely blocking theview. Amy is heard yelling “Oh my God!” and everyoneis cracking up. Horatio gets halfway out of the carthrough the car window and pushes the mailbox off thecar with a bottle. Much cheers and applause from theaudience for the blooper)

Billy Joel: Don’t even worry about it! These are mystreets! I’m a Long Island boy! Shortcut!!!! (crashthrough a gate, wood shatters and flies all over theplace, girls scream) (sings and pretends to play pianoon the dashboard) Friday night I crashed your party,Saturday I said I’m sorry! (stops singing) Right,ladies?

Girls: DOG!!!

Billy Joel:Ahhh! (dog bounces off the hood, woof!) Don’tworry, don’t worry! He’ll be all right. I’ve hit thatdog before! All right, too much excitement! I’m gonnapass out for a few seconds. (Billy passes out, carswerves out of control)

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn View all posts by Don Roy King