George W. Bush Says Iraqi Troops are Better Than Ours

Unconfirmed sources report that across the globe American troops are hopping mad at President George W. Bush. In Bush’s Tuesday speech he said that 160,000 Iraqi troops will be able to do the job in Iraq that 138,000 American troops can’t. Thousands of American service men and women have taken to the streets to protest the implication that the Iraqi’s could do a better job at pacifying the county than they could.

“This is a huge scandal.” Says Col. Mike Roberts of Fort Bragg, N.C., home of the Army’s 82nd Airborne Division. “There is no f-ing way the Iraqi’s can do this job. No way. If we can’t do it with the full weight of the US Military and the support of a few guys in Washington than no one can. Bush saying they can do it, that they are better than us is a slap in the face.”

Military families and service men from across the globe are registering displeasure with the President over his recent remarks. They complain that they have been betrayed by leaders by not being properly equipped and not being sent in great enough numbers to get the job done. The implication that Iraqi troops are better than they are is insult to injury to our brave servicemen.

“Our soldiers in Iraq need more assurances of progress from the president. They need an effective plan to end the violence, bring peace and stability to Iraq, and return home with dignity and honor,” said Massachusetts Democratic Sen. Edward Kennedy “What they don’t need is a President telling them the Iraqi troops are better than they are. The President’s implication is treasonous and I think most Americans agree with me. America has the best fighting force the world has ever seen and an no two bit Connecticut Yankee playing cowboy is going to get away with bad mouthing our troops.”

Karl Rove speaking at a Midnight Press conference blasted the criticisms of the President made by American servicemen. “The Presidents words are being taken way out of context by a bunch of malcontent military brats who know nothing about t he big picture of what is happening in Iraq!” Raged Rove. “The 160,000 Iraqi troops will be able to secure Iraq without our help, even though we can’t seem to do it to now working together. Wait

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.