I was thinking my girlfriend might find a V-Day Mr. Lover suit sexy. A grand gesture the equivalent of male lingerie. What do you think? Too much? Should I just send her a dick pic instead?

As endearing as it is tacky, the Opposuits Mr. Lover ensemble gives you the opportunity to truly wear your heart on your sleeve this Valentine's Day. Both sleeves, actually. Plus your chest, back, legs, ass.... If you're resourceful you'll even be able to wear it again and again over the years, for Halloween, bachelor parties, the big Proposal, clown gigs at your kids' birthday parties. Mr. Lover isn't just an eyesore, it's an investment.

The 100% polyester suit includes a jacket, pants, and a tie, and Opposuits insists you shouldn't consider the price indicative of its quality. The jacket and pants include real suit pockets inside and out, lining, buttons, and belt loops. It comes in 9 different sizes and is machine-washable.