Tuesday, March 25, 2008

How to Play Drums

Monday, March 24, 2008

UPDATE

HEY DUDES.

This kid we know is doing a Fucked Up DVD of those shows we did in Toronto last October. He still doesn't have pre-order info up, because he doesn't know how to work paypal, but you can see the world exclusive trailer RIGHT ON THIS BLOG and also at gametrailers.com, and I guess the TV show of that website as well. Oops, I mean:

We also just got back from SXSW. Here is a tour diary we did up for VICE in case you are too lazy to click on this link:

Also there are more pictures on the vice site.

DAY 1 and 2

9.30pmWe meet at the bus station in Toronto. We neglected to buy plane tickets until the last minute, so all we could get were flights from Buffalo to San Antonio. The three-hour bus ride featured two driver changes, Falco getting stuck in the bathroom for two hours, and no movies.

12.30amJust after midnight we get our visas approved at the border. We have a couple of hours to kill at the airport until our 9am flight. Pink Eyes and Gulag walk to the McDonald's across the highway. I watch The Devil Wears Prada on my laptop. I think Sandy is listening to Vampire Weekend. Somehow it becomes morning.

11.30amWe arrive in beautiful Newark, Airport (not to be confused with Newark, Delaware) and wonder why we aren't just going to Manhattan, which we can see out the window. We sample Airport’s many culinary delights, such as the Sbarro and the Nathan's. I get the wet sushi. Sandy opts for frozen yoghurt instead of ice-cream because she is off dairy.

7pmWe arrive in San Antonio. Immediately I see the fattest person I have ever seen in my life - the guy who rents us our van. We almost get inside him and drive off.

9pmWe finally arrive in Austin and go straight to the check-in centre. We don't see any famous people other than Andy Capper, owner of Vice UK. He is already in a bad mood. I vow not to see any bands all week after getting a year’s worth of flak for trying to see Asobi Seksu last year. I deserved it.

1am (the next, NEXT day)Our 5pm show was cancelled, but THANK GOD another one was scheduled at a video store. The best thing that can happen to a band at SXSW is getting a show cancelled because then you can relax.

Damian was using an MTV microphone at this show. It's our first set in 2 weeks and we are showing signs of wear. Thank god no one was there except for die-hards and tweakers. I think the drummer from Vampire Weekend was there, but just trying to buy a Paul Simon LP.

DAY 3Saw lots of friends, and also Clipse and Motorhead. The guitarist in Motorhead had a beer cozy for his mic stand. Vampire Weekend was sold out.

Fucked Up played "Year of the Pig" at Beerland. Veronica from The Carrots did back-up vocals and then passed out on stage. J Masic was there. He looked like a unicorn and kids were daring each other to ask him if he was in Deep Wound. He was pissed.

After the show we went to Taco Cabana - the worst Mexican restaurant on the planet.

3amWe get to Sean Agnew’s party at some house he was given. He told us Justice were going to play, as well as a lot of other DJs that Gulag is into. Some dude from Vampire Weekend was there and someone pushed him into the pool. He got his clothes all wet. As we left we saw Justice pull up in a Hummer, stop for two seconds, and then speed off.

DAY 4Fucked Up play four shows on one day, beginning with the NME party at WAVE. No one is there, but the gear is great and Pink Eyes almost jumped off the building like King Kong. People were throwing food at him. After that we raced over to the Vice outdoor party to play for free Gatorade. Nothing funny happened.

The next show we did with John Brannon from Vampire Weekend. It was super hard.

After that I went to see Annihilation Time and it was great. Then Municipal Waste played, who are about as hard as Vampire Weekend, and just as literate. Oh wait, I mean way less literate than Vampire Weekend.

Then we played on Lemar Pedestrian Bridge and 3,000 people showed up. A few died. There were police helicopters flying above during our set. I saw some MIBs rappelling the bridge. Thank god an army of angry punks pelted them with empties until they fell into the river and were eaten by sharks. It was "gnarly."

Hey wow, another great meal at Taco Cabana.

DAY 5

After getting free jeans and shoes, we hung out all day at Waterloo Park. We did some tunes with Keith Morris from Vampire Weekend. It was “ill.” There were about 1,000,000 people at this show and 10 stages. Ween played a bunch of cool tunes from their new record "Weirdo Rippers." It was cool. Everyone was wondering what the fat dude from The Sarah Silverman Program was gonna do next. Last year he watched Hatebreed. This year he was watching Ween because they played the same stage as him.

I really dug NOFX. Pink Eyes did a cameo, but fucked it up. NOFX are funny so they were able to make some pun-based jokes about that one. Then their stage manager beat the shit out of a crustie and this drunk dude onstage. It was pure mayhem.

Beat got some free red pants from Ben Sherman and wore them because he secretly thinks he’s Rat Scabies.

We met up with Andy and Michelle from Mika Miko and drove them to Taco Cabana, which miraculously was open. She called me a faggot, so we ditched her because we aren't into that.

One more show: the Vice secret afterparty. Last year the building collapsed during this, so everyone was pumped. Our guestlist was 200 people long. We played for 2 minutes. Again, no famous people.

We got home at 6am. An hour later I woke up shivering. I spent the next 2 days throwing up in airports, hotel rooms and buses. Fuck you SXSW.

Guestlist

They ate me

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Believe It

We thought it was going to be a peace festival

From NME:Police watch riot at SXSWFucked UpMar 15, 2008A riot occurred in the early hours of this morning (March 15) on Lemar Pedestrian Bridge in the midst of the SXSW festival in Austin, Texas, during an impromptu party gig by hardcore rockers Fucked Up.

Fucked Up were playing an unofficial gig at around 4AM (CMT), when fans who had attended SXSW gigs earlier in the night began congregating. Soon around 1,000 fans were on the bridge.

Fired up by the music, the fans began to mosh, creating a mosh-pit 30-people wide. The bridge began to buckle and bounce under the weight of the crowd, which prompted many fans to jump into the river to escape.

Police soon arrived at the scene, but realised that they were powerless to halt the riot and could do nothing but wait until it quelled.

Fucked Up’s guitarist, 10,000 Marbles told NME.COM that he thought the bridge was going to collapse, explaining why fans felt they had to jump into the water.

“I could feel the bridge going up and down – it was crazy,” he said. “The police couldn’t do anything, so they just had to wait.”

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

GHH

Hi some of you might remeber that dumb "David Christmas" record we put out this christmas. We finally got them all out and the money all back and were pleased to make a donation of $6000 to George Herman House this week. Thanks to everyone who bought one and helped out! Also by the way retards - NONE OF THEM HAVE LABELS AND THE COLOUR OF THE BOW DOESN'T MAKE IT MORE LIMITED.

TOUR DIARY

Hi wow, we just got back from tour. We brought along Nick Fenstle to "roadie" but he punked off. He sent this tour diary to Plan B mag, its going in their next issue. You can get the special sneak preview here. This is all bullshit by the way, Nick is a punk. All photos by Sandals McRandaHello, my name is Nick Fenstle, and I'm the UK secretary for Hidden World Enterprises - Fucked Up was asked to keep a tour diary going throughout their supporting slot on the most recent UK Gallows tour in Feb 2008, but neglected to keep any records or stay sober enough toremember anything in the first place. As will become refrain in these entries, "they made me do it".

FEB 13 LONDONI got up extremely early to pick the band up at Gatwick for their 8am arrival. After about an hour of waiting I realized they weren't due to arrive until 8PM and they'd told me the wrong time. I spent the next 10 hours trying to catch up on sleep, periodically being woken up by security. Finally they arrived and had me take them directly to the Hawley Arms, which I tried to explain to them had burned down the previous week. We went anyhow and the band became almost violently angry walking through the charred remains of where they had met so many of their celebrity friends. The rest of the night was spent by me trying to deflect this misguided anger, which I felt like I was bearing most of the brunt. They told me they needed more shirts made, so I had to spend most of the rest of the night screen printing while they slept.

FEB 14 LONDON10,000 Marbles was violentely ill at the hospital as he'd been in Nigeria for a week's vacation on his way to England, so I spent a good part of today trying to coax him into playing that evening at Barfly. It was our friend Andy's birthday that night, so they had me go get him a cake. When I brought it back, they told me to get a bigger one. This went on for a while. When I got back to the club the band was doing a photo shoot for Kerrang which involved a lot of fake blood and toy pigs. Guess who had to clean it up. It was a great first show of tour - often they can be really lacking since people are tired and guitar strings are brittle from the plane ride, but things were really happening. Pink Eyes had a lit candle in his behind at one point during the set. Cake got everywhere, all over the amps and the cords and instruments. I spent most of the night cleaning all that off as well.

FEB 15 NORWICHOur first big show of the tour, we joined the Gallows this evening at the UEA, a 1500 seater. We'd been to Norwich in the summer, to play the Tales of the Jackelope festival, where the set was cut off after 4 songs (they'd flown in just for that one show). For some reason they weren't letting me into the dressing room tonight. The show was fun - Pink Eyes spent most of his time in the crowd getting his clothes ripped off by 15 year old girls, no doubt the first such experience for most of them. Nice to meet the other bands on the tour, although I wasn't really allowed to talk to any of them either. The night ended with all the bootleggers outside being arrested - every Gallows show has a handful of guys selling bootleg Gallows shirts on the pavement outside.

FEB 16 BIRMINGHAMWe showed up to the Academy late and I had to sit in with the promoters getting yelled at for a while, even though I was up from 8am waiting for the rest of the band to wake up. The funny thing about this venue is the support dressing rooms are a 5 minute walk from the stage. Up several flights of stairs, through laundry corridors, other hallways. The band thought it would be a funny joke to keep "forgetting" things in the dressing room that I'd have to go and get for them. I logged about 6 miles of walking throughout the night getting their bags, books and pics. At one point during the set Gulag ran out of his "special" pics and I had to sprint to the room to get more before he could continue playing.

FEB 17 SOUTHAMPTONI'm starting to the think the band is fucking around with me.

FEB 20 LONDONThis was apparently the best show of the tour. They played "Year of the Pig" in its entirety with Jessica Penfold. I wasn't able to go because the band for some reason was under the impression that the downtown congestion charge is lower if there are less people in the vehicle. Somewhere on the outskirts of London I wandered around looking for a pub that had the Corinthian Casuals game on television, but after a n hour of looking, I realized I had wandered all the way to Hendon and then got a phone call from the band telling me I shouldn't be watching any game anyhow, because it would "take my focus away from the tour". They also told me that they had met Kate Nash at the show - and while it was hard for me to believe them, because they knew how much I adore her, and must have said it just to taunt me, a sneaking suspicion still lingered and the thought of that missed opportunity tainted what little left of the evening.

FEB 21 MANCHESTERI woke up inside the bands storage facility in the north where I was instructed I could sleep - there was no time for them to come pick me up after the show, they told me, and no money in the budget for a 90p bus ride to meet them. I met the bus on the side of the highway and we left for Manchester. We'd picked up Octavio since he was in London for a few days, so there was no longer a seat for me, so I crouched between two bucket seats. Manchester is my home town, and even though it had been months since I'd had any time off to see my parents, they told me there was no time to do it today, because they'd booked a tour of the stadium where Manchester City plays. Being a United fan myself, I decided to stay at the venue and set up the gear and soundcheck on my own. They showed up 10 minutes before set time and gave me a Man City scarf, and told me it was coming out of my per diem. They played a great show at Academy, and told the crowd to throw up as much beer on stage so I'd have to keep clearing off the stage.

FEB 22 NEWCASTLEWe got to Academy early, because they band said Newcastle was their favourite city in England, and wanted to look around. Honestly I think they spent most of their time in video game stores and Ann Summers buying fancy dress. Nothing else on earth is like the north - today we saw 4 young women take a limo to a deserted street corner and get out all in matching nurses uniforms, on their way to no where in particular. Young Governor met one of them and missed the show. I hope he turns up in time to make it to Glasgow tommorow.

FEB 23 GLASGOWWe had to take the Governor to the hospital again today for what he described as an ear infection. More northern loveliness up here. Grey skies, scary looking men, even scarier women. We ate dinner at a sports-buddhist fusion restaurant. The gig was at the ABC, and it was my job to ferry the gear up to the 4th floor. Our friend Anita Crapper shared vocal duties for the Gallows cover of Nervous Breakdance today, and spent the rest of the evening making strangenoises in the Set Your Goals dressing room.

FEB 24 LEEDSThis would be FU's 5th time in Leeds - all of the previous shows being at The Fenton pub. This time the show was at MET University. Marbles and Capper had me take along with them to try and watch the Carling Cup final - the first pub we ended up at was The Fenton. They had somequiz show on. I took them to the Eldon and just as extra time started I got called back to start restringing guitars. I wonder who won. Pink Eyes slipped on his own blood during this set and broke one of his fingers, it wasn't a pretty sight.

FEB 25 BRIGHTONA night off from the Gallows tour for a headlining show right on the beach. David Eliade was up in Brighton vacationing, so they spent most of the day with him in his hotel room. I wasn't allowed to come, even though I've met David on many occasions. They returned that night stone faced and upset. I was treated a bit better for the rest of the evening, and spent some time reading alone in the bus.

FEB 26 EXETERWe've had lunch at Ikea for the 3rd day in a row now. We've been staying with a relative of the band in Bristol and the first road out takes you to the Ikea/Tesco complex. These pigs fill up on cheap hot dogs and pasta at the Ikea and then spend the rest of the afternoon drinking cheap wine from the Tesco.

FEB 27 PORTSMOUTHShow cancelled today, someone with Gallows is extremely ill. The band rented Robocop and have watched it twice already. I'm putting new heads on the drums and screening more shirts. I heard they had a nice time in Bath today.

FEB 28 SHEFFIELDApparently last time they were here the club was right across from the football ground, and the BBC firm tore through the show and beat up loads of attendees, since it was right after United had been relegated. Can't say I wish that hadn't of happened at this show. Played the small room of the corporation - what a high stage. We realized today that 2 of our guitars had been left back in Exeter. Gallows by this time was in London for a day off, so after taking a serious reprimand, I convinced the band that we'd just get them tommorow at the Astoria, and I'd rent them a backup guitar for this show. They made me use my own money. Gulag smashed the rental during the second song.

FEB 29 LONDONJust before you enter the main room at the Astoria, you'll see a half-size door in the wall. That's where I spent most of my night tonight, hiding from Fucked Up. There is no question now that they've been on a sick relentless personal quest to drive me mad on this tour, with expert results. I'm writing this on a stolen palm pilot that I found in one of their bags. They are playing right now. I'm sick of this - I'm about the boot it.

MAR 1 LONDONToday the show was in Kingston, just somewhere south in London. I heard it was great. I'm on my way back north. Good luck finding me next time you fuckers.

All the VICE SHOW INFO AND RSVP INFO IS HERE. The site is also streaming "Looking for Gold" for some reason too, so if you need 16 minutes to digest all the vice show info, I guess you could listen to it.THURSDAY MARCH 13@ BEERLAND 711 RED RIVER STWHATS YOUR RUPTURE PARTYYEAR OF THE PIGTHINK ABOUT LIFESEX VIDTYVEK

THURSDAY MARCH 13@ A BOAT IN LAKE TRAVIS FROM 3-7PMR5 PARTYFUCKED UP+ 1invite only

FRIDAY MARCH 14NME PARTY @ THE WAVE 408 EAST 6TH STTHESE NEW PURITANSFUCKED UP (1.15)HOLY GHOST REVIVALDUKE SPIRIT