HI I'M AMBER

I like being regular and pronounce it “regler.” If I can get to the keyboard quickly enough, I’ll write out of the holy, terrible, and fantastic regular. I like a little house and a big yard. I whirl from child to sink to garden to spill, but I love to steep in different cultures and countries, too. I love to travel. Most of all, I love to write. I never questioned what I would grow up to be. Learn More About Me »

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A Mud Stories Podcast on Sex, Shame, Unforgiveness, and the Church

I recently had the privilege of recording a podcast with Jacque Watkins of Mud Stories, dedicated to bringing you inspiration in your muddiest moments, hope to make it through your mud, and encouragement for you to know you are not alone. I didn’t have plans to make a big to-do about it, but I’m sharing it with you here because our conversation was one of the most refreshing and real conversations I’ve ever had out in the open air. We talk about sex, grace, shame, and the church. It honestly makes me nervous for you to hear it, but I believe we’re meant to walk in freedom, so here you go.

The next time you’re loading the dishwasher, folding clothes, or driving to work, listen in.

Jacque explains:

In this episode Amber shares about:

How she always wanted to be a “good girl”

Her rebellious young life including promiscuity, drug addiction, abortion, and an affair

And how she met God in her brokenness again and again

Amber discusses:

Her discouragement in, and future hope for, the church

Shame–the importance of letting it go, and some practical ways to help

How shame is often at the root of our unforgiveness

The importance of doing forgiveness work toward ourselves and other

And the rescue, redemption, and intimacy that awaits us all because of Christ

This is no footnote. Please understand what a gift it has been to share my book with you. Wild in the Hollow continues to challenge me, and hearing how you relate to it has encouraged me and many others. Thank you for writing reviews and for sharing it with your people. Please continue to hear my gratitude. My days are a purring over back-to-school woes and a planning for a new adventure. Isn’t 99.9999% of life off the screen? I absolutely cannot do this by myself, and while I’m scrubbing and hollering at the dogs to keep off my chickens, you friends have blessed me.

3 Comments

Kathleen minafo

I was so moved by this conversation. I recently read Ambers book and loved it.
There were so many things said that helped me understand a bit more about my own shame, especially the part about forgiveness.
I carry great shame around with me and the only way I have learned to live with it is by numbing out, covering up and pretending. Oh, how this has kept me so far from the Lord and the consequence has been the absence of all emotion, not just pain. I seem to have lost all discernment, conviction, desire, hope and am utterly discouraged by the quietness of Jesus. My cry has nothing behind it, it is empty silence even though I hear the words. I am afraid of the work. I am afraid of going back to that place, of all the places of my pain and failing.
God spoke to my heart once when I still could hear, that the reason I am struggling to come to Him is because I am trying to get right before I do. He told me my righteousness is only found in Him and to come as I am. When Amber touched on that during the conversation it really confirmed that for me, I am just afraid.
I am so incredibly broken but I can't feel it. This has been a double edged sword for me because I miss the safety, freedom, love and even the pain of just feeling alive, alive in Christ. I must admit though that the fear of failing Him or not being good enough and trying to the point of exhaustion is the only relief.
There has been so few things that have been able to reach that place in me that can hear and feel, thank you for your honesty and compassion.

Kathleen Minafo

Julie Wilson

I'm behind on my podcast listening but skipped ahead to listen to this one!! Thank you for sharing your story. Budgetwise, your book is on my Christmas list and will make a delightful break-time reading as I'm currently continuing my education and will have little time for pleasure reading this fall!

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