Monday, March 5, 2007

learning to fly

you ever see that credit card ad, where it has people and everything going "Someday..." and has this puppy awkwardly skating through a kitchen, with graphic text going "Someday, a back lawn"?

yeah, cute puppy, right? Focus on the puppy, keep that puppy in mind, for that puppy is fully representative of the Portland Trail Blazers.

"you may be 'so fresh,' but you're not 'so fresh comma so clean clean"

its obvious I have a deep love of my hometown team; I believe the technical term is "homer." Regardless, if this were the Portland, Maine Trail Blazers we'd be up near the top of the Leastern Conference, Zach Randolph would be an All-Star, and Brandon R.O.Y. would already have had his coronation as R.O.Y. The East is weak, and that teams like Boston and the Knicks get press coverage is due to location and history as opposed to talent.

the history might be debatable (this is where Clyde the Glide, Arvydas Sabonis, 'Sheed, etc. all drop down and remind you about the 20-plus year playoff stretch, AS IF YOU FORGOT), but the West Coast Snubs are not. If this team was in a bigger media market, it'd be all over the press; as it is, we're stuck in above-average mediocrity, not doing well enough to warrant "Cinderella Story" press coverage, not doing poorly enough to slip into the ping-pong ball mire. Without the Toronto Raptor-esque playoff run (wholly due to the weak division they play in), the Blazers are the quiet before the storm; they are the silence before the storm.

They will probably be the Jazz two years from now, except young and without Jerry Sloan.

spraying passes like a spanish steve nash

the mix of talented youngsters (three out of five starters are in their first or second years in the Association), good team chemistry multiplied by being good human beings (Mike Barrett's blog has mentioned them joking that they're "Choir boys" on the team plane) and a town that will eat both up means the West should look out next year. Let's break down some positions here:

-Jarrett Jack: I've got to admit, it's getting better; it's getting better all the time.-Brandon Roy: R.O.Y. ain't nothing to fuck with.-Ime Udoka: Perfect glue guy and 6th man next year.-LaMarcus Aldridge: I already have two alternate last-names for him: Awesome and All-Star. He's certainly going to be that.-Zach Randolph: ...is this good without playing defense. Yikes.-Sergio Rodriguez: Once he gets more confidence in his shot, and gets fully on the same page as the team, will be AWESOME. Keep in mind he's 9 months younger than *me* and playing in the NBA.-Two-headed white center: Needs to be more consistent and less injured.-Darius: Needs to go away, now.

So, really, all we're looking at is getting more production out of the walking wounded and figuring out how big the tab is going to be to get Miles out of town. Everything else is on the up-and-up.

I think I can deal with that.

I don't know if the league can, yet, though.

I usually hate to parrot PR/marketing campaigns, but hell, the 'Zers have a good line up on their web site right now: Right coach, right team, right direction. Of course it's the right time to be a season ticket holder; sunshine, rainbows, and fucking Rip City coming back. It's a fresh morning.

women go crazy for a sharp-dressed man

[bill simmons]you could go into war with a man like that leading you.[/simmons]