(Closed) Ideal size of a wedding guest list?

Sitting here with my Fiance, discussing the guest list. It’s amazing how many “Oh I have to invite them,” and “Those are my parents’ friends,” and “I’m not close to her, but she invited me to her wedding” comments keep coming up!

We’re thinking less is more…so we have time to talk to our friends and really enjoy them….and that way, only the ones that TRULY mean something to us will be there – no courtesy invites!

Of course, this is easier said than done.

Anyway, I was just wondering what you’d say your “ideal” wedding guest list size would be, if third cousins and colleagues and other obligations didn’t get in the way!

I wanted exactly 100 people and had exactly 100 people lol. If you are not in my life at the moment, you were not at my wedding.

There were people at mine that have known me since I was born that live on my old block that asked to be invited, so we invited them. I did not invite half of the people my mother wanted to invite. She knew I was adamant about the number of people and it was perfect.

We had about 70 guests; of those, there were only about 5 people that either then-Fi-now-DH or I didn’t personally know before the wedding– the girlfriend of a mutual friend, the boyfriend of another, etc.

Our day FLEW by and I honestly didn’t get to spend more than 3 minutes with about 75% of those folks; there were definitely folks I felt bad for not spending more time with, including a friend of mine for 20+ years who I managed only to give a hug to throughout the whole reception.

You will be pulled in 100 different directions during the wedding so if you truly want to spend time with your guests, then you need a long reception, and a small guest list.

Personally I think our group of 70 was just about right; there are a few people that, in hindsight, I would have liked to invite, but not to the point where I feel we’ve strained any relationships, and a few people who were invited but not able to attend. But almost everyone there was someone we know and love, which was really important to us. I don’t think inviting my mom’s friends (his parents are overseas so inviting their friends would have been aimless as not too many people will come from overseas for a wedding of someone they barely know), casual acquaintances or the mailman would have in any way enhanced the day! We did invite the co-workers that we consider friends— the people we’ve done things with outside of work before and will continue to be friends with if we change jobs— but I don’t regret not inviting my manager or my teammates that I’m not close with.

No one was invited to the wedding that neither of us knew. Family friends were people who cared about/were important to us. We ended up with a little over 100, and it was a good number for us. (Although we both would have loved around 70-75)

I only invited one out of twelve cousins. If I hadn’t seen someone in five+ years, why should they warrant an invite?

I want about 150, because I want people to be able to mingle and have the chance to meet all sorts of new people, and I want the dancefloor to never be empty.

But realistically, given the location we have chosen, it will probably be closer to 50. Oh well. If they all come and enjoy themselves and dance and get tipsy and drive home soberly and safely (or taxi their drunk asses to a local hotel) and have good memories of the event, then that’s good enough for me.

Besides, there are good things about smaller guest list. Like the fact that what you save on food can be put into Chiavari chairs–especially since you’ll need fewer of them.