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One year on, Happy Birthday HBOB

I’ve been a published author exactly one year today, March 1st. That’s when in my brain, I remember making the distinction that I could move from being an ‘aspiring writer’ to a ‘published author’… even while remaining very much an emerging author with a lot to learn.

I discovered Amazon rankings (where to find them, what they meant, and how they messed with your head)

I realised I was as guilty as the next author for checking my rankings, checking them against other author rankings and feeling either pleased, or disappointed, depending on a number.

Even if Amazon rankings were dollar signs, I’d rather see a 1 than a million. (Maybe that’s something I’d actually have to put to the test. I could buy a lot of wine and cheese with a million bucks.)

It’s a hard thing to deal with, this beast inside me that makes me check and recheck my book links on Amazon, Google my name (though I’m not as bad at this now), look for mentions on Twitter or Facebook, and wonder why, WHY? aren’t more people thinking my book is brilliant. Why aren’t the reviews better? Why isn’t that ranking higher? Why is that book I couldn’t even finish sitting in the Top 100 on Amazon? Or iTunes? Or anywhere?

In its own way, the roller-coaster following publication is as bad as the roller-coaster pre-publication, when you are caught in the merry-go-round of queries and submissions, followed by those interminable waits for responses from agents or publishers.

But I’m still here. His Brand Of Beautiful has not made me rich, or famous, but it has brought me many wonderful and cherished friendships, and a lot of fun. I hope it has brought the people who’ve read it, a giggle, a heart-flutter, and some joy.