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I'm jealous of every one of you.

I confess my jealousy towards everyone I know in the kink community in DC. How confident you are, naked in front of everyone; how you have no shame for your body, no matter your shape; the raw, beautiful sexuality you all give off like radiation; the way others are drawn to you, all smiling and curious; I wish I had it all. Instead, I'm here on a site I'm not sure any of you know about, whining and complaining while I think about the many tiny details I hate about my body, about my lack of confidence, about the kinks I wish I could provide for my girlfriend, but which I'm not sure I'm capable of. Sometimes I don't even want to check FetLife, because I know you've all probably been up to something wonderful while I've been stuck in my room, stagnating while I drone away with homework and a boring, unfulfilling job. I just want to be and to feel like you all seem to.