I am so sick of La. And sick of the lies that come with it. I didn’t call off my wedding. Taking a break from social media. #draining

– Miley Cyrus, on Twitter

She’s #draining. What exactly she’s #draining is not specified in her 140 character limit. If it’s her fiance’s tool, then I’d say the press reports of her engagement being called off are probably bullshit. If it’s her bank account to buy a new custom-made 24K gold scoliosis back brace, then I’d say she’s looking at getting back into the dating pool in the near future.

I’ve had a crush on Miley since Perez Hilton first showed me her underaged vagina. In Perez’s defense, he’d never seen one before and thought it was her shoe. In my defense, well, fuck, I have none. Still, it was a thing that led to a thing that has had me finding Billy Ray’s spastic daughter pretty damn hot. Save for that voice. And the hair. And the tit tattoos.