Learn 3 distinct features that make one vulnerable to addiction and understand the varied dynamics through the lens of attachment with guests Brad Kennedy and Dr. Vanessa Kennedy. By getting curious about our behaviors and understanding why we do what we do, we can begin shifting our narrative from one of shame to one of compassion.

Have you ever just sat back and observed a small child as they learn something new? There is this profound sense of awe and wonder with each new discovery they make. Kids are naturally curious. As adults, we tend to take what we know about the world for granted. But, through the eyes of a child, the world is an exciting mystery just waiting to be discovered! What if we told you that it is possible to experience that childlike curiosity in your day-to-day life, starting right now? What if we also told you that curiosity is one of the most powerful relationship tools we have? Curiosity is much more than a quest for knowledge and is not as simple as it seems.

It’s hard enough to unfold yourself in therapy, but when your life experience has challenged you, avoidance is sure to follow. It is difficult to open up if you found safety in being cloaked – but that cloak can clog up our current adult relationships. Dang it! Sorry to tell you what we imagine you already know. 🙂 Gotta lose the cloak, friend!

This episode breaks down the basics of neuroscience as it relates to being human in a relational world. This skill will help with your boss, your teacher, your student, your child, you client or you spouse. Learn to use the solid findings across varied life experiences. Sue Marriott joins Dr. Lou Cozolino, books and original articles on the subject.

Building inner security & self-confidence by yourself can seem nearly impossible, so for today we are ditching the heady neuroscience to break down 6 quick tips to improve self-confidence entirely on your own. You’ll discover how this handful of steps can vastly improve the way you feel internally and the way you carry yourself externally.

This episode is packed with cool content! Learn about complex trauma, debunk myths of false memories from an expert witness of child sexual abuse, and of course revisit the 3 Pillars Model of effective treatment for attachment disturbances!

Co-host Sue Marriott ends the year by addressing in depth 2 questions from our audience. These focus on mentalization, the attachment spectrum and regression. We look at how we can lose the capacity to mentalize when we are in a dismissing state of mind and what happens when we regress into early modes of functioning.

Using the science of attachment in the classroom. A look at the take-aways from a tour of relational science experts, guest Linno Rhodes joins co-host Dr. Ann Kelley as they look at applying the skills learned in one’s life and the workplace.

Neurobiological differences can be detected between secure and insecure relating, and even between the two organized insecure patterns of attachment (Dismissing and Preoccupied)! This is cool because we can understand it and begin to gain mastery over our primitive reactions.

The natural neurobiology of co-regulation and it’s capacity to engage safety and heal trauma. In addition, the myth of self-regulation and how to re-engage interpersonal relationships. Using interpersonal neurobiology (ipnb) and polyvagal theory to establish safety and security in therapy and in relationships.

Can we find a way for men to be BOTH Relational and Masculine? It couldn’t be a more important time for thoughtful, honest, and provocative discussion on what it means to be a man in today’s culture. Perel makes a case that men are both harmed by the existing power structures and perpetuate harm by the codes imposed on them by all of us. In 2018 there are many contentious ideas about masculinity and “the male code” including confusion by men about how to hold themselves out as safe and masculine during this time of #MeToo and Kavanaugh.

Interpersonal co-regulation requires boundary setting. Most of us haven’t been lucky enough to learn to be good at boundary setting naturally, by good examples, so we have to literally be taught how to do this important skill. Well today we are in luck! Jello will be your friend. 🙂

We also touch on the science of memory, implicit and explicit, mirror neurons, stress hormones and threat responses and most importantly the power of patriarchy to harm both women and men, both political parties and our democracy as we know it.

A review of using the attachment spectrum to improve secure relating and to improve your understanding of yourself and others in your day to day lives. Today we review what we’ve discussed so far on the podcast about the attachment spectrum and add more detail about the nervous system. The spectrum uses the research in a way that makes it more accessible and clinically useful so that more people can gain from all this good data! If interested in more tune in to Episodes 5, 59, 60, 61 and 66.

Neuroscience continues to document our ability to change and grow throughout our life. This episode takes a wide-angle look at attachment throughout one’s life, discusses how one’s environment affects their system’s involuntary response to stress, and how that stress response system impacts us from infancy to the autumn years. Learn how to adjust set stress “pathways” and move towards more secure relating in adult relationships, and also unravel the parallels that exist between attachment in infants and the elderly.

Deep discussion on how the current political, international and climate crises could be viewed as a chance to transform human connection rather than be seen from a place of doom. Dr. Siegel called for us all to become pervasive leaders – a great inspiration.

Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley walk the walk by bringing authenticity and vulnerability to their listeners and seeking connection, engagement and feedback. They also request listener feedback and input to help them co-create an exciting and high quality Season 3 of Therapist Uncensored.

Self compassion includes fierce accountability and is essential to psychological health… who knew? Most of us think of it as being soft on yourself, but in this episode our guest will reveal the surprising power and science of self compassion.

Finding the middle ground between constantly attending to your child versus letting them learn to self-soothe is a challenge that all parents must face. In this episode, Dr. Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP, break down the difference between “Attachment Parenting” and the science of actual theory.

What makes the ins and outs of sexuality so hard to talk aboout? It turns out, if couples do talk about sex, the conversation is often mostly about frequency. However, what is missing are the zillion of other thoughts and feelings we have about intimacy (or lack there of), desire (or lack thereof), fantasies (or…

Do you use a to-do list as a way to justify the need to be busy rather then the other way around?
Idleness can breed discomfort and busyness seems to help to fill in the gap. Learn how conscious busyness and idleness can generate cognitive health and happiness, while unconscious busyness and passivity just adds to the stress trap.

Walk through the discovery experience of coming to understand yourself as transgender, and see how coming to truly discover and embrace yourself relates to everyone, not just those who identify as non-binary. Personal and delightful story of transgender identity discovery, and catch up with what you should know about gender identity. Example – what’s the difference between transgender and butch lesbian, sex, gender and sexual orientation, tomboy and trans… and what’s the deal with the strange pronouns. Find out here.

“Security” at the border? Relational science professionals have a lot to offer to understand the human rights event that is unfolding on the US-Mexico border. This podcast has been all about promoting security in ourselves and our loved ones, and a primary component to this is access to your caregiver when you are young. It effects our biology, or persistent sense of ourselves and our view of the world. But it works both ways… Stress and fear that is ongoing also has the same persistent thumbprint as well.

Unlock natural problem solving and calm the chaos of your mind using Hill and Rossi’s treatment tips. The Mirroring Hand technique teaches you to use your natural problem solving to manage stress and anxiety.

Candid and hilarious conversation about how the relational sciences translates to work and parenting, by a listener ready to challenge the premise. Afraid of interacting with your co-workers? All the single listeners, (think Beyonce!) heads up. Learn to use attachment science day to day and delve more deeply into the avoidant end of the spectrum. Fun episode!

We have unconscious stories about ourselves and the world held in our mind/body. Sensorimotor psychotherapy helps you be curious about what your body stores & can have a huge impact on your sense of self. Tap into your own mind/body as a deep & abiding source of information and means of finding self-understanding and closer connection. It’s part of growing secure relating with self and others!

Enjoy a straight shot of Kirtan Kriya Meditation from Kundalini Yoga Instructor and Therapist, Kelly Inselman. That’s fancy for coolness and calm. Who doesn’t want that? Dive right in and give yourself the gift of practicing along – we guarantee a more regulated nervous system moment. Money back guarantee. 🙂

Cancer sucks, no way around it. Learn how blending the principles of emotional healing and yoga can bring emotional, physical and relational support. No yoga required, the conversation itself is healing, and you’ll also find a bonus mediation made specially for our listeners. Don’t be scared of woo woo, it’s easy and nourishing without any commitment. 🙂

Columnist Dan Hardick, the Luv Doc, has seen it all. Get his irreverent and bitingly honest insights on the dating scene and relationships that survive. He comes from the unique position of having decades of experience editing the Personal Ads and giving cringe-worthy dating advice with his column in the Austin Chronicle. Great insights and rowdy fun.

The elusive 4th category of adult attachment, disorganization, and how this state of mind relates to everyone, no matter your trauma history. Dropping into overwhelm and disorganization happens to everyone at times, and some more than others. When we have been exposed to serious danger, unresolved fright or major loss in such a way that it interferes with healthy coping patterns, we are left to our own to manage the world. In research terms they call this disorganized, but we’d like to describe it as squirting squid ink to confuse who we think is the predator and making a run for it.

Wrapping up this 3-part series focusing specifically on adult attachment, Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP discuss disorganized attachment, how it forms, how it appears in adult life, and how you can identify when you fall in a pocket of it to organize yourself internally and externally.

Improve your sense of security and communicate more effectively with those you love by understand preoccupied/anxious attachment. Learn to manage your body’s reactivity in relationships by learning about this attachment tendency and how it relates to unconscious regulation of the brain. Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Ann Kelley PhD discuss and make the information practical for real world use.

This episode is especially for those “talk to the hand” kind of people, or those that love them. You know, the uber-independent, rational, left-brain, excel spreadsheet person that sees others emotions as needy and weak. Co-hosts Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Ann Kelley PhD translate decades of research and clinical experience into easy to understand usable points to help you improve your understanding of why people appear so irrational at times.

Explore how we both build and damage connections as we engage in the online world. We discuss the impact on developing minds and the interpersonal realm of young people and adults, including cyberbullying and cybertrauma. Guest Catherine Knibbs

Dating bites (& no, that’s not necessarily a complaint :)). Learn to get out there and enjoy yourself as you peruse your choices. This episode is for everyone – all genders and sexualities – but today we focus on same-sex oriented women in the LGBTQ community.

How does one come to see themselves and predict the world? That was the original question for researchers who have been studying attachment for over 40 years! Dr. Alan Sroufe tells us what his thoughts are now, many years and tons of data later, about how we find ourselves and relate to others.

Hopelessness, loss of meaning, and existential distress – these are the characteristics not of depression as one might think, but of demoralization. They are different syndromes with different directions for intervention. Find out more in this episode where co-hosts Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW CGP discuss how transitioning from taking an active stance towards either situation can be beneficial. Learn how you can develop both internal and external coping mechanisms against demoralization.

Neuroscience continues to document our ability to change and grow throughout our life. This episode takes a wide-angle look at attachment throughout one’s life, discusses how one’s environment affects their system’s involuntary response to stress, and how that stress response system impacts us from infancy to the autumn years. Learn how to adjust set stress “pathways” and move towards more secure relating in adult relationships, and also unravel the parallels that exist between attachment in infants and the elderly.

Learn how to understand challenging histories and best address the complex trauma in your life, whether it be your own, your child or another loved one. Self-compassion, avoiding shame in parenting and addressing these issues in therapy are covered.

Conquer your stress and worry using the neuroscience-backed techniques in this episode. Not woo-woo, movement and yoga can enhance the depth of your therapy and assist in reducing your upset no matter where you are. Also see the bonus track that accompanies this episode, a 12-minute high-quality meditation that you definitely want to give a try! Don’t be scared, you may be surprised you like it.

Neuroscience tells us that learning to manage our arousal through practice benefits our minds and body very quickly. This is a bonus episode designed to go with Episode 52 – this one is a straight 12-minute mindfulness meditation lead by yoga master and psychotherapist, Kelly Inselmann.

Shame, the good, the bad and the ugly! In this podcast, learn how to recognize the various forms of shame and how guilt can be an antidote to this pit in the stomach feeling. Sue Marriott, Dr. Ann Kelley and guest Dr. Stephen Finn engage in a wide-ranging discussion about the least favorite feeling in most people – the collapsed feeling of shame!

Get your own dormant entrepreneur inside of you excited with this podcast, which delves into the psychology of these successful leaders. Also find out how to increase the “luck” factor in getting your goals accomplished.

Become a master not a disaster at relationships! Quick tips to help you regulate emotions in yourself and others. Deepen your skills at deciphering these things we call feelings (ack!) and learn how to use this information to co-regulate yourself and those close to you.

Can healthy dialogue around the #MeToo phenomena cross genders? We explore the tensions felt by both men and women in their discussions around sexual harassment and assault and explore strategies for increasing understanding and connection.

Those of us who haven’t had it easy growing up aren’t doomed to repeat our challenges with our own children. Learning about secure parenting can make us paranoid, but no worries — there is a lot of leeway to get things generally right. Learn about the 4 S’s of healthy relating in this podcast.

Guest Esther Perel shares her research on love, desire and infidelity in modern relationships. Update your model of health and widen your perspective on the erotic, which is the difference between a relationship that just survives, and one that thrives!

Not only does Bob Schneider (professional musician and wicked Creative) share his navigation of emotion as he writes music, in this in-depth conversation he also shares personal stories about his therapy and recovery with Sue Marriott. He goes on to describe mediocre versus great therapy, how to train your critical brain like your dog, and taking in tons of information like a whale and spitting out “song turds” from his unconscious. Blending anecdotal stories, neuroscience and attachment theory, this interview both entertains and educates.

Learn how to use music to improve brain health, manage mood, increase relational happiness and get tips on how to build neural plasticity through this art. Remember, it’s not just cotton candy for the ears!

We continue our (sexy) conversation on ways to create sexual vitality throughout our lives. From honesty about our fantasies and desires, to sexual health and a new way of looking at addiction, this episode will get you thinking and hopefully sharing!

Add pleasure to the notion of healthy sex and the whole conversation changes!
In this very sexy conversation (earphones around little kids are good idea for this one!), we talk about the balance between pleasure and safety as a way to think of sexual health. “Sexual debut” vs losing our virginity… wow, how fun is that shift in thinking, for example?

Given that the single best predictor of therapy success lies in the relationship between therapist and client, what happens when that relationship becomes dysfunctional? In this episode, we discuss how to distinguish between therapy that gets hard in the process of healthy growth, versus therapy that causes strife and interpersonal distress. Lean how to identify if you are in trouble and what to do about it.

The single best predictor of therapy success-across different therapy models- lies in the relationship between therapist and client. Learn what this means and peek behind the note pad as three psychotherapists talk about love and hate in the therapeutic relationship.

Learn the 3 pillars of attachment security and how to heal from the inside-out.
We cover quite a lot in this podcast, especially about treatment, but if that still isn’t enough, these show notes are PACKED with PDF’s of great material offered by Dr. Elliott! Below you will find 4 full PDF handouts about the salient ideas of their synthesis of treatment for adults with attachment disruptions.

We all know it doesn’t happen until we’re ready for it, but that doesn’t stop us from trying to ram change down our loved one’s throat. This episode will help us be smarter, kinder, and more importantly, make change more effective for those we love.

We explore a three step process for finding relief from continuous worry and anxiety. Don’t let your primitive brain hijack your emotions – this episode goes into more detail about the process of managing worry and anxiety.

Listen to our conversation with therapists from Austin In Connection – recorded live! We joined Austin In Connection for their Year of Conversations meeting to explore the foundations of relational sciences and interpersonal neurobiology.

The art of listening seems so easy on the surface but often proves challenging in our lives. Listening can create feelings of powerlessness and subordination that makes us act out in ways that we often don’t even recognize. Our brains are anticipation machines! By using two sports visualizations, learn how to turn communication into a game with two winners.

Demystifying what happens in our body and emotions when we experience grief and loss. Candyce Ossefort-Russell helps us explore how loss of an important person, relationship or role deregulates our nervous system and makes us feel like we are in danger. Grief is our bodies reaction to this violation. It is a natural process we need to go through to heal. We also look at how personal and idiosyncratic the process can be for each individual. Candyce makes recommendations on how we can help ourselves and others navigate this journey to a new self organization. We also look at how uncomfortable our culture is with grief.

Self compassion includes fierce accountability and is essential to psychological health… who knew? Most of us think of it as being soft on yourself, but in this episode our guest will reveal the surprising power and science of self compassion.

Victim Perpetrator Rescuer? Rigid, self-defeating or even self-satisfying roles can limit our happiness in life at times. Learn more about theses three roles we all carry inside us and how we can transform them to make us stronger and happier. Our Karpman’s triangle infographic will help explain this phenomenon.

Help is here for having those uncomfortable conversations… like whether or not there such a thing as reverse-racism, what’s going on when people ask about white lives matter, how is racism different than prejudice, developmental models of racial identity, colorism, self-hatred and so on. This is a rich dialog that will be an interesting, hopefully shame-free conversation starter. We hope you share this episode widely and follow up with discussions about what you think with one another, or take action with the resource section in the show notes. Thank you Christine Schmidt and Rudy Lucas for the inspiration and the conversation!

The surprising election results ave created deep passions which threaten to upend families, divide neighbors and strain work relationships. Understand powerful political passions and how to navigate them.

Most couples don’t match up perfectly when it comes to their sexual desires. What happens next? Understanding sexuality, emotions and sexual desire in long-term relationships can help keep the fires burning and help keep conflict, or drift, at bay.