And so we be coming to another day where we roll our Rs, shout curses and cries between such pirateanical proclamations as “Rum me!” and “Prepare to be boarded!” (which, if truth be told, I tend to say at home most weekends without needing an excuse…) and otherwise try to sound like the sea dogs that make up the major foundation of our history.

But is it enough that we sound like them? Are we really doing proper by these scallywags by trying to talk like them?

Me modest proposal is that, for International Talk Like A Pirate Day, perhaps we should go just beyond talking like a pirate; mayhaps, me hearties, it be time to be thinking like a pirate as well.

Ye have all of a few moments to get yer jokes about what pirates have on their minds all the time out of the way before we be getting serious…

Let us be looking back on what made pirates who they be, and consider how they lived their lives and managed their affairs:

Pirates be masters of their own fate: This be a truism that we need be keeping in our hearts at all time. If ye see a load of scallywags who all be claiming that they represent “true patriots” while taking booty from someone behind the scenes, and a part of ye be going how this seems askew, then ye be keeping the spirit of the buccaneers alive. The men (and more than a few ladies) who plied the waves of the Spanish Main were not following blindly any one crown’s flag (for let us not forget, all the main powers during the Golden Age of Piracy be sporting a monarch on their throne), they be thinking for and of themselves; ye should be too.

Pirates be striving for the best, and not afraid of getting their hands dirty doing it: The words of the troubadour still ring true, that to live outside the law, ye must be honest. Though truth be told, methinks he be meaning that to be honest with ye self first, as there are too few ports ye can sail into and declare ye self to be on the account and not be facing a hempen jig by sunrise… That be said, so long as ye can set goals for ye self and honestly declare at the end of the day that arrrgh, ye did all ye could to do it, then ye be doing yer seafaring nefarious ancestors proud.

Pirates be looking to persuade, not impose: Aye, this seems at odds with the usual image ye may have of sea dogs demanding yer loot, though truth be told, if ye give no lip to a pirate demanding ye booty, then ye can talk yer way through a surrender with little to fear. Truth be told, this be referring to the pirate practice of parlay, where all crew be brought in to talk through their goals and overall plans. Aye, there be a captain for when things got rough, though that person knew better than to think to be above the crew, as too many aboard ships going on the Sweet Trade had suffered under cruel tyrants at sea and would not stand for such. Arrrgh, in the West, when pirates did parlay, then they be proving that Thomas Hobbes be right after all…

Pirates be going for the best, the best way they can: What be making the buccaneers so successful was not mere heart, nor numbers a’ plenty. No, what made them the scourge they were was their innovation, their insight, their being willing to try something new, to be thinking outside the treasure chest. If ye can get ye self to think in ways above where ye be, bringing ye mind where few minds have gone before, then aye, ye be doing pirates proud!

Entry # 202 of Winston Rowntree’s SUBNORMALITY really hit home for me, exploring the idea of the “road not taken,” especially for writers. The way the character of Ethel confronts herself and looks back at her own individual PoDs (points of departure) explores the way we all ask ourselves, “What if I had done something different?” and does so with a candor and ease that gives the process resonance.

It works well as a great speculative piece, and makes the individual quest to examine alternatives that much easier to relate to.