Comments on: Do You Follow The Rules?http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/05/do-you-follow-the-rules/
Where celebrities, experts and JDaters come to kibitz!Thu, 30 Jul 2015 08:30:25 +0000hourly1http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.6By: Easterhttp://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/05/do-you-follow-the-rules/comment-page-1/#comment-525791
Tue, 21 Apr 2015 12:31:20 +0000http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=61211#comment-525791Many of you so-called ‘ladies’ on here are as leathery as a pair of old army boots.

The Rules are wonderful and intelligent women follow them.

]]>By: Perryhttp://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/05/do-you-follow-the-rules/comment-page-1/#comment-386521
Mon, 27 Oct 2014 15:16:58 +0000http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=61211#comment-386521If she doesn’t show an interest, or she plays these games, I move on.

I wonder how many women this has backfired on.

]]>By: Danielhttp://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/05/do-you-follow-the-rules/comment-page-1/#comment-369401
Thu, 05 Jun 2014 12:59:12 +0000http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=61211#comment-369401I am a man with options. Ignore my first message and you’re out forever
]]>By: Arihttp://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/05/do-you-follow-the-rules/comment-page-1/#comment-337721
Mon, 06 Jan 2014 17:30:17 +0000http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=61211#comment-337721The first time I read this article I thought it was satire. This should be written down as a set of rules of what exactly NOT to do. You’re basically telling women not to send any signals that they’re interested at all, which is terrible advice. There’s a difference between chasing a man and letting him know you’re interested. If a woman doesn’t reciprocate, I won’t pursue. Not returning phone calls is just plain rude. If you do that to me I’ll drop you and move right on to the next woman, if that sort of behavior is any indication of what I’m going to get in a relationship.
]]>By: A-Guyhttp://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/05/do-you-follow-the-rules/comment-page-1/#comment-143811
Tue, 19 Mar 2013 21:36:52 +0000http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=61211#comment-143811From a guy’s perspective…
Men will contact the most attractive, sexy, hot profiles we see..
for the average women, as great as they may be, their best chances are to contact the guy first! or they’ll simply won’t get noticed at all.
I skim/skip over profiles in about 5 seconds based on pics first, and if the woman is not attractive there’s no chance of me EVER contacting her as great as she may be.

As for the whole calling/not calling back thing.. forget it, if a woman can’t show interest than why should I, got no time for games these days.
Either you are in or in the way!

What they’ll do is weed out a guy who has you 5th on his list of priorities and fills in his “extra time” with a girl who treats herself as an accessory to a man’s very full life.

Anti-feminist? I think not.

It allows women to find a man who has their same goal. If you want a ‘sometimes date’ and not a relationship (as above) then be that “good for now girl”. If you’re looking for someone who wants something deeper – say someone who wants to get married and is looking for that right now- then the Rules will help you find THAT guy.

As the guy above pointed out,a guy who just wants you as a 5th priority in his life, AFTER his gym work out if that tells you where you stand, isn’t going to pursue any woman. Perfect proof that the Rules work. When doing the Rules > this type of man doesn’t want you, and you don’t want him. Exactly how it should work. He’s avoided a girl who isn’t like-minded, and you have not pursued a man who is not able to give you what you want. (BTW not faulting James in any way, hes just clearly doesn’t have marriage on his radar yet. Nothing wrong with that. But the Rules will help him find a girl who suits him and a woman who does want marriage avoid him. Its a win-win).

As for trickery, as someone else said, you can’t trick someone into treating you with respect or falling in love with you no matter what you do. They either do or they don’t. The Rules aren’t a way to fabricate what isn’t there; they are a way to reveal what isn’t there in the most gentle way possible for both women AND men. Again, its a win-win.

]]>By: Jameshttp://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/05/do-you-follow-the-rules/comment-page-1/#comment-92051
Sun, 09 Dec 2012 16:30:08 +0000http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=61211#comment-92051I am a man, and I think many of the ‘rules’ are counter-productive. If I call a woman and she doesn’t call back, I assume one of three things: she didn’t get the voicemail (due to technician glitches, not all voicemails, emails, or text messages get delivered), she is just not interested, or she’s trying to use ‘scarcity’ tactics to try to appear less interested or more valuable. I test to find out which of the three scenarios it is by leaving one more voicemail, email, or text message. If she still doesn’t respond, I assume she’s either not interested or using ‘scarcity’/playing games. I respect myself, have a busy schedule and a lot of responsibilities. I don’t waste time with women who play games, and I also live in reality. A guy who keeps calling and emailing even if the woman doesn’t return the calls…..is a desperate stalker. A woman who doesn’t return calls is rude. Women: Be clear about what you want and don’t want. If he calls and you’re not interested, show a little respect and respond with a call, email, voicemail, or text that simply says, “I received your message, and I am not interested in dating you, but thank you nonetheless.” If you are interested in the guy, show some respect, and respond with, “I can meet at x time/ date or x time/date. If the guy is asking to meet you very last minute, consider that he might have had some time in his schedule free up at the last minute. Don’t follow some silly rule that says he has to schedule dates so many days in advance. I travel all over the US with my job. I frequently encounter flight delays and occasionally flight cancellations. When I am working locally or out of the area, sometimes my meetings with customers run short, sometimes they run long. I’m not going to make a week-night date with a woman if I think I might have to break it off due to a meeting with a customer going long. Likewise, I am not going to let the extra time that is available when I get my work done early go to waste. If I’ve already done my gym workout for the day and I’m caught up on everything else I need to do, I’m going to call one of the many women who have given me their numbers that week, and ask them to meet up with me, and it might be very last minute. If I make more than a few attempts with securing a date with a woman, I am going to delete her number and move on to the next woman. When I find the right one, and only after I have dated her long enough to know she’s the right one, I’ll start blocking out time well in advance to see her. Until then, my priorities are career, fitness, friends and family….and if there is extra time, a date here or there with a woman who doesn’t play games.
]]>By: nkamohttp://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/05/do-you-follow-the-rules/comment-page-1/#comment-58651
Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:49:42 +0000http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=61211#comment-58651I suggest we women should concentrate more on our lives and stop fretting about men who don’t deserve us. We are better off with none than with slimy badgers. Ladies, let’s Follow The Rules for our hearts’ sake!
]]>By: Marshallhttp://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/05/do-you-follow-the-rules/comment-page-1/#comment-57841
Sat, 08 Sep 2012 11:49:11 +0000http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=61211#comment-57841These two will ensure that many Jdaters will stay Jdaters for life.
]]>By: KatHeidehttp://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/05/do-you-follow-the-rules/comment-page-1/#comment-55891
Wed, 29 Aug 2012 05:42:34 +0000http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=61211#comment-55891I think it is interesting that men and women become incensed at The Rules. It actually demonstrates to me how insecure the critics are, meaning they are afraid they will be ‘tricked’ as if anyone can REALLY be tricked about love, or that they haven’t actually read the book in its entirety.

The Rules merely says don’t bore people with every detail of your life too soon, don’t chase people who are not attracted to you, don’t sleep with people who don’t cherish you, and let men value you by not chasing them.

I have approached relationships both ways, being the great girlfriend who was out there, caring and open, willing to do anything for the guy, OR begin kind and nice but a bit aloof, not returning calls as much and getting really really busy in my own life.

100% of the time, when I am more focused on maintaining The Rules, having a busy fulfilling life, and not hanging on some guy’s every move, I am treated better, and HE IS HAPPIER. He can feel that he is with a girl who has grace and dignity and her own interests.

As I said, you can’t fake love and attraction, so there is no deception in The Rules.

And by the way guys, if you were REALLY honest with yourself, there is a girl you know right now, who is not all open and desperate and even steven dutch treat. And she holds herself a little above the fray. And secretly you wish you knew her better, because she is a little different than the girl who blathers on and on and doesn’t really seem to have much going on but her interest in you.