(Closed) FI and I have hit a sex rut!

I have a high sex drive and usually FI can keep up, but now that we’re both living with our parents (temporary situation, we’re working on it) it’s become so hard! Between our schedules and our families’ schedules, there’s hardly an opportunity and when there is one, he’s not willing to. Like, He’ll go into work at 9, I’ll go into work at 12, and my house will be empty except for me by 7:30. I’ll ask if he wants to come over before work while there’s time and he doesn’t want to. When it’s warmer we’ll sneak off to the backyard or somewhere more secluded, but while it’s cold we can’t unless the stars aline perfectly. I told him there’d be an opportunity tonight, but he just said he was tired and going to bed. Seriously?? If it was between sex and sleep, I’d pick sex…and then go home and sleep. It’s been a while, so it’s not like he’d be staying up much later than usual anyways. I’m not talking marathoning, just a quickie. He says he right now he wants private, take my sweet time sex or nothing. I just want sex any sex! I’d rather have a quickie in the backyard than nothing! Ugh!! I dunno how to get out of this rut.

Oh! And the other day we were driving back to the house after shopping and, TMI, I start giving him a handjob. He tells me No, not the right time, etc, I’m just like shut up and let me work! I know he’s as sex starved as I am, he says it himself. I pulled over into a dark parking lot to for a bj before we got home to finish him off and even he admitted he needed that and it was the best ever. I hate feeling like I have to drag him kicking and screaming to the bedroom! Once it’s done he’s like, That was great, why was I so against it before? But just getting him there is a chore.

ETA: If it wasn’t obvious, we have a bit of an exhibitionist streak in us. We have a lot of practice with road head and the like. We also have a list of semipublic places where we’ll be safe. Don’t judge our kink.

@HonoraryNerd: sorry but I will judge giving head or hand to someone who is driving a car at the time. i don’t care how experienced someone thinks they are at it, it takes a moment of inattention to crash and potentially injure other road users, damage property etc :-/

Dude. Don’t fool around while you’re driving. I don’t care how hot it is, that’s just not okay. You put your lives and those of everyone around you at risk. No one deserves to die just because your sex life got boring.

@Hyperventilate: We have talked about it. The problem is not having sex makes him pissy and frustrated. Then, he’s too pissy and frustrated to want to have sex. The only time I “pressure” him is when he’s stuck in the loop so I can break the cycle.

@beanowl: And enough of the driving comments. It’s irrelevant and frankly, unless you’ve done it and can honestly say it made you a worse driver than when you’re talking on the phone, eating, etc, I don’t care. Both he and I are better drivers as we’re more focused on the road and driving safely. And we don’t do this because sex gets boring. This is our vanilla. We do other things to spice it up.

I don’t eat or talk on the phone when I’m driving either. I owe it to myself and the people around me to not be a distracted driver, because the thing about driving is that one small mistake could ruin someone’s life. I don’t care if this is your “vanilla,” it still doesn’t make it okay. I’m about as kinky as they come and I’m not a fan of kink-shaming, but I do NOT condone engaging in any sort of sexual activity that could have negative consequences to non-involved, nonconsenting parties. My original point still stands, and I think that you’re being selfish in insisting that your sex life comes before other peoples’ safety.

@beanowl: Well kudos for being the worlds best driver. No one drives without some distraction. Be it changing the radio station or giving a handjob, it really doesn’t make a difference. You’re still watching the road, taking all the necessary precautions. If something flies at you out of nowhere, you’re screwed regardless. And if I’m driving while it’s happening, I can take my hand back as needed, just like you’d stop messing with the AC if you suddenly needed two hands.