For the second time this season, the Orioles were swept in a rain-shortened two game series against the Yankees. The only thing more disgusting than losing to the Yankees is listening to their inbred, brain-dead fans cheering for them in Camden Yards.

Have you ever been to a game at Yankee Stadium? If you have, you have learned a couple of important things about their fans. First, there are NO women inside Yankee Stadium, unless you count radio announcer, Suzyn Waldman, but we’re not so sure what she/he actually is. Women avoid Yankee Stadium because most Stankee fans are ugly men who don’t understand much about society. Women don’t like that.

Second, Yankees fans have been brainwashed to believe that baseball is only to be taken seriously. This is true for the ownership and front office, but fans should have fun at the stadium. There is no fun at Yankee Stadium. Instead, it’s all about acting like a tool, obsessing over the Red Sox, and chanting dumb sayings that they learned in 8th grade cheerleading class.

So, it always comes with absolute horror to know that these same Jersey Shore trash bags are invading Camden Yards. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit just thinking about it.

I have an idea…. There must be a way to ensure that Yankees fans do NOT get tickets to anymore games at Camden Yards. If I was a filthy rich O’s fan, I would buy all the tickets to the Yankees-Orioles games for the remainder of the season. Then I would walk around Baltimore and distribute the tickets, for FREE, to any and all O’s fans I see. This would fill the stadium with birds and keep those child-eating, pepperoni-smelling Yankees fans out.

Unfortunately, I am not filthy rich, but someone out there must be….

Robert Andino

Game One Notes (Saturday night)

-Chris Tillman had his start skipped due to a sore groin.
-Robert Andino got in Mark Teixeira’s face in the first inning after Teixeira made a dirty slide into Andino’s ankle at second base. We all remember Teixeira’s dirty slide that injured Anaheim catcher Bobby Wilson last year, which also occurred on 4/23. I think Teixeira’s problem is that he’s just too uncoordinated to know how to slide properly. Obviously, he has good hand/eye coordination, but he has absolutely no control over his body when he’s running. Complete idiot.
-The Yankees scored seven runs in the 8th inning to blow this game open.
-Josh Rupe drilled Russell Martin near his dome in the 9th inning, but unfortunately he let the Yankees get the last laugh when Brett Gardner followed with a dinger.

Matt Wieters

Game Two Notes (Sunday afternoon)

-Orioles sent the game to extra innings by tying the game off of the “invincible” Mariano Rivera in the 9th. The O’s would have won the game if not for a fortunate carom off the right field wall in foul territory. That carom eventually led to throwing out the winning run at home plate.
-Wieters made an incredible block of home plate in the 10th inning to stop a Derek Jeter run. This game would have been an instant classic had the Orioles been able to win.
-Jason Berken got blown up by the Yankees for the third time this year. In three appearances against the Yanks…. 3.1IP / 7R / 6ER

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Written by Sven Jenkins
My name is Sven Jenkins, and I’m an independent baseball analyst from Poughkeepsie, NY. I own 60ft6in.com and do freelance work for STATS Inc. In the past, I've done research for the St. Louis Cardinals and worked one season with Baseball Info Solutions in 2007. I have also spent many nights as an official scorer in the minor leagues and played NCAA D-III baseball at SUNY New Paltz. In the off-season I travel the world, having enjoyed over 1,100 days on the road through 40 different countries. You can email me at: jenkins AT 60ft6in DOT com.