Saturday, April 26, 2008

Temp X is sorry to report he did not get the job for which he recently interviewed. A disappointment, sure. The end of the world, certainly not. For if Temp X gets a job, what will become of this Blog? And his loyal following? On the plus side, it gives Temp X material to discuss another Hollywood phenomenon -- job seeking and the word "No."

When Temp X was in college, rejection letters from potential employers were called "Bullets." These Bullets served multiple purposes:

They let you know you didn't get the job for which you interviewed.

It was a matter of professional courtesy.

The campus bar had special "Bullet" nights where you could exchange these letters for free beer. (Note: Those nights were typically followed by days in which Temp X skipped class.)

The rules are different in Hollywood. You find you didn't get the job by...not finding out. There is no "No." You'll never get a letter. Nor an email. Not a phone call, a smoke signal or a message via carrier pigeon with news of a decision. Sure, it can be frustrating. It's like the person you interviewed with doesn't even remember meeting you....WAIT!...OH MY GOD!...I FIGURED IT OUT!

Who here has seen the movie Memento? (wait for show of hands) You know, the one with Guy Pearce where he can't make any new memories and he has to get tattoos and take pictures to keep track of everything. That must be it. These people Temp X is interviewing with all have this same condition. They were all in a horrible accident that...gee...now Temp X feels bad about this posting. It's not their fault they can't remember. It's just how they are.

It all makes sense now. You've wondered why people remake American Gladiators, Knight Rider or Short Circuit (yes, THAT Short Circuit). They're only remakes if you remember they existed in the first place. And since they all have this condition...

Now what was I here to talk about?

"It must be hard living your life off a couple of scraps of paper. You mix your laundry list with your grocery list you'll end up eating your underwear for breakfast."(Memento)

Temps are the lowest life form in Hollywood. They are lower than assistants. Lower than those in the mail room. Lower than everyone. Why? Because they are completely disposable. You don't like the temp. Get a new one. (Oh and we don't get health insurance, paid vacation, 401k, etc.) I am one of those barnacles on the hull of the good ship "Hollywood." These are my stories.