Flight 370: Without a Trace

The agony of not knowing.

Days after its disappearance, nearly three dozen airplanes and 40 ships from ten countries were still searching an area hundreds of miles long for the missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.

Time and again, authorities felt they’d found clues to the jetliner’s fate – only to be proved mistaken. Rescuers who thought they’d spotted a life raft floating in the Gulf of Thailand found the object was the lid of a large box. An airplane door turned out to be moss-covered debris, what authorities thought might be an airplane tail was on closer inspection corded logs; an oil slick near Malaysia was found not to contain any jet fuel.

Theories as to what happened to the missing airplane abound. The airliner made no distress call, and since its disappearance no radar signals from the plane have been detected. Investigations are focusing on the possibility of terrorism: two passengers on the missing flight were travelling on stolen passports, and both purchased their tickets in Thailand through an Iranian intermediary. In the absence of any evidence, however, authorities are also considering pilot error, a catastrophic mechanical failure, and hijacking.

Meanwhile, relatives of the 239 missing passengers waited for news – any news – as to their loved ones fate. As reporters and family and friends of the passengers gathered in Beijing, one woman waiting for word about her loved ones screamed “Why won’t anyone tell us anything?” before collapsing in tears.

When I read of that poor woman’s words, my thoughts raced to my grandmother and a question I asked her before she died. She and my grandfather escaped from Vienna just before World War II; my father was born in the United States three years later. How, I wondered, did they choose a name for my father? Who was he named after? I’ll always remember my grandmother’s reaction. She was usually a collected, undemonstrative woman, but on this occasion she became very upset. “I didn’t know whom to name him after!” she nearly shouted. “I had no idea who was still alive!”

My grandmother suspected the truth, she told me, but all through the war – and for many years afterwards – still held out hope that somehow, miraculously, her friends and family were still alive. She could never completely relax, she confided, while she was still unsure of her loved ones’ fates.

As bad as circumstances might be, not knowing the truth can be much more stressful. As Jewish sages have said, "There is no joy like the resolution of doubts." During hearings at the International Criminal Tribunal for the Former Yugoslavia, one psychologist summed up this type of emotional agony for the loved ones of people who were killed in the conflict there: “even the worst truth would be better for them than this uncertainty, this constant, perpetual uncertainty as to what happened to their loved ones, because they keep waiting, they’re waiting for something. They cannot begin life, they cannot face up with the reality of the death of a missing person.”

As we wait for news of the missing airliner, it might seem there are few practical ways we can help. But Jewish tradition gives us guidance in how to respond during difficult times, and ways to help ease others’ pain. Here are five ways to reach out and help during this crisis.

Pray. As rescuers comb the Gulf of Thailand and other waters, take a moment to pray for their success, and for the relatives of the passengers who are living through such agony.

You can try reciting a formal prayer like Psalms, which are traditionally said in times of trouble, or else say prayer of your own devising.

Judaism teaches that every good deed we do – no matter where – brings more holiness into the world, and benefits us all. So reach out to those in your community.

Even though we might live too far away to offer support to the loved ones who are waiting for news from the Malaysia Airlines flight, we can each find ways to support people who need us closer to home.

Be sensitive to someone else's pain. As we read about the agonizing wait of the family members of passengers on the Malaysia Airlines flight, we can turn our concern into practical actions.

Think about people you know who might be going through a tough time; try to become more sensitive to their needs. Can they benefit from practical help like a meal or a ride someplace? Or can you help ease another’s pain by visiting or calling to talk? It’s so easy to get caught up in our own busy routines; sometimes a crisis like this can remind us to make the time to connect with others and try to help.

Make a pledge. In times of emergency, it’s a common Jewish custom to make a promise to do something concrete, either in memory of someone who has passed away, or as a way to help people through a difficult situation. Especially when we feel overwhelmed and aren’t sure what to do, taking on one specific task can help us focus and start to figure out ways to help.

Consider pledging money to charity, or deciding to read a Jewish book or article in the merit of the people on Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.

Do a mitzvah you haven’t done before. Doing a new mitzvah is a way for us to empower ourselves during times of crisis, and it also adds a dose of spiritual light to the world.

And in case you're thinking, what does this have to do with me? Watch this powerful video about saving Syrian children. Its main message is: Just because it isn't happening here, doesn't mean it's not happening.

About the Author

Yvette Alt Miller earned her B.A. at Harvard University. She completed a Postgraduate Diploma in Jewish Studies at Oxford University, and has a Ph.D. In International Relations from the London School of Economics. She lives with her family in Chicago, and has lectured internationally on Jewish topics. Her book Angels at the table: a Practical Guide to Celebrating Shabbat takes readers through the rituals of Shabbat and more, explaining the full beautiful spectrum of Jewish traditions with warmth and humor. It has been praised as "life-changing", a modern classic, and used in classes and discussion groups around the world.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 2

(2)
Melissa,
March 11, 2014 5:48 PM

Excellent article

well researched article & very thoughtful suggestions.: i really liked how you framed your suggestions with real-life examples ... people need videos like the above to remind us that everyday peoples are enduring tragedy all over the globe. A reminder to pray for peace in the Crimean penninsula as well.Thank you for your caring article.

(1)
Anonymous,
March 11, 2014 5:30 PM

The way this article is written - in the past tense, (regarding the plane) sounds like it has been found- but it hasn't as yet.

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My nephew is having his bar mitzvah and I am thinking of a gift. In the old days, the gift of choice was a fountain pen, then a Walkman, and today an iPod. But I want to get him something special. What do you suggest?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Since this event celebrates the young person becoming obligated in the commandments, the most appropriate gift is, naturally, one that gives a deeper understanding of the Jewish heritage and enables one to better perform the mitzvot! (An iPod, s/he can get anytime.)

With that in mind, my favorite gift idea is a tzedakah (charity) box. Every Jew should have a tzedakah box in his home, so he can drop in change on a regular basis. The money can then be given to support a Jewish school or institution -- in your home town or in Israel (every Jews’ “home town”). There are beautiful tzedakah boxes made of wood and silver, and you can see a selection here.

For boys, a really beautiful gift is a pair of tefillin, the black leather boxes which contain parchments of Torah verses, worn on the bicep and the head. Owning a pair of Tefillin (and wearing them!) is an important part of Jewish identity. But since they are expensive (about $400), not every Bar Mitzvah boy has a pair. To make sure you get kosher Tefillin, see here.

In 1944, the Nazis perpetrated the Children's Action in the Kovno Ghetto. That day and the next, German soldiers conducted house-to-house searches to round up all children under age 12 (and adults over 55) -- and sent them to their deaths at Fort IX. Eventually, the Germans blew up every house with grenades and dynamite, on suspicion that Jews might be in hiding in underground bunkers. They then poured gasoline over much of the former ghetto and incinerated it. Of the 37,000 Jews in Kovno before the Holocaust, less than 10 percent survived. One of the survivors was Rabbi Ephraim Oshri, who later published a stirring collection of rabbinical responsa, detailing his life-and-death decisions during the Holocaust. Also on this date, in 1937, American Jews held a massive anti-Nazi rally in New York City's Madison Square Garden.

In a letter to someone who found it difficult to study Torah, the 20th century sage the Chazon Ish wrote:

"Some people find it hard to be diligent in their Torah studies. But the difficulty persists only for a short while - if the person sincerely resolves to submerge himself in his studies. Very quickly the feelings of difficulty will go away and he will find that there is no worldly pleasure that can compare with the pleasure of studying Torah diligently."

Although actions generally have much greater impact than thoughts, thoughts may have a more serious effect in several areas.

The distance that our hands can reach is quite limited. The ears can hear from a much greater distance, and the reach of the eye is much farther yet. Thought, however, is virtually limitless in its reach. We can think of objects millions of light years away, and so we have a much greater selection of improper thoughts than of improper actions.

Thought also lacks the restraints that can deter actions. One may refrain from an improper act for fear of punishment or because of social disapproval, but the privacy of thought places it beyond these restraints.

Furthermore, thoughts create attitudes and mindsets. An improper action creates a certain amount of damage, but an improper mindset can create a multitude of improper actions. Finally, an improper mindset can numb our conscience and render us less sensitive to the effects of our actions. We therefore do not feel the guilt that would otherwise come from doing an improper act.

We may not be able to avoid the occurrence of improper impulses, but we should promptly reject them and not permit them to dwell in our mind.

Today I shall...

make special effort to avoid harboring improper thoughts.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...