Kevin Frisch: The autumn of our discontent

Monday

Dec 20, 2010 at 12:01 AMDec 20, 2010 at 8:17 PM

So as king, I would replace the Gregorian Calendar. Winter would begin on paper when it starts in earnest: Dec. 1. December, January and February are winter; March through May is spring, and so on. Each season gets three months.

Kevin Frisch

Is it possible to be sick of a season before it even gets here?Because I've had enough of winter — or winter-like weather, anyway. And the winter solstice doesn't arrive (or start, or whatever it is solstices do) until Dec. 21.

In the Rochester, N.Y., as of Dec. 17, we already had 45.2 inches of snow, according to goldensnowball.blogspot.com, a website whose meteorological reliability is reinforced by links that read "Order Cheap Personal Checks Online" and "Deals on Bowling Balls."

Near my house, the snowfall totals have been even higher, owing to the fact that I never get a break.

The average snowfall total in this area for this time of year is about 18 inches. In fact, our record for the month of December is 46 inches, which we should break any minute now. When you set a seasonal record (e.g. amount of snowfall) and you're not yet in the season associated with that record (e.g. winter) something is out of whack.

This is why if I were King of America (yes, I realize this would require some revising of the Constitution) the seasons would be realigned. The problem isn't so much the weather as the calendar.

The United States uses the Gregorian calendar, which was introduced by Pope "Let's Name a Calendar After Me" Gregory XIII in 1582.

It seems the former calendar, the Julian calendar, introduced by Julius "Let's Name a Calendar After Me" Ceasar, was a tad sloppy –– it rounded off the calendar year to 365.25 days, which is 11 minutes longer than the time it takes the Earth to revolve around the sun. This may not seem like much, but those minutes added up. By the 16th century, hundreds of Roman Catholic cardinals were weeks late in arriving for the Inquisition.

So Gregory XIII got together with an astronomer and developed a new calendar. He then issued a "papal bull," which is much more formal than the title suggests, declaring that the day after Oct. 4, 1582 would be — get this — Oct. 15! He wiped out 10 whole days, not only realigning the solar and calendar years but really ticking off the committees in charge of that year's celebrations of the 90th anniversary of Columbus Day.

All well and good, if you live in Rome, but the calendar doesn't accurately reflect the seasons in the United States ... well, in the Northeastern United States ... OK, on my block.

So as king, I would replace the Gregorian Calendar. Winter would begin on paper when it starts in earnest: Dec. 1. December, January and February are winter; March through May is spring, and so on. Each season gets three months.

"But winter should start on the day of the solstice," I can hear purists whining. To which I respond: It's been below-freezing for two weeks and we've got almost 4 feet of snow; winter is here.