On Life Not Having a Pause Button

I wrote this when my grandfather fell ill and I felt like I should have dropped everything that was going on and focused on him, but it was so hard.
Anyway, Rest In Peace, Granddad! I'll miss you a lot.

She likes a boy And her grandfather's in a hospital Some six thousand miles away, Surviving every day but Slowly losing his smile. She likes a boy And her grandfather has thirty-six Tumors on his spine, Two in his pancreas And says he feels fine but He's refusing to eat. She likes a boy And her grandfather might not Make it until Christmas, Her grandfather who played chess And laughed his chesty laugh And poured her wine she wasn't Really supposed to have. She likes a boy And she doesn't know if she should Keep on living or Pause, Temporarily, and pray that Her grandfather, who sat every morning Reading the paper and jumping at her hello, Could make it through. She likes a boy And her grandfather was never religious, And he wants to live so badly, Because he never wants to waste a second Of what he has, Because life is the only thing that is Solid and certain. She likes a boy And she feels selfish, living When her grandfather's life is so tentative, But when she tries to Pause, She can't get life to stop. She likes a boy And she walks with him And she thinks of her grandfather And she lives Because it's the only thing She knows she can do.