X Factor: Down to a dozen

Toinght, five more acts get the cuts before the final dozen are put in our hands next week. FIVE? Why are they doing this now? What’s the point? Not loving this. Each judge should have just picked three to begin with, AMIRIGHT?

First up, L.A. Reid and the boys:

Astro:Jump. I’m not really down with this nickname. Keep your real name, Brian Bradley. That said, I’m continually wowed by his charisma and presence. Great song choice for him, and he nails the flow. Haters gonna hate, but I ain’t mad at you, Astro. That was pretty terrific.

Chris Rene:Love Don’t Live Here Anymore. What is this song choice about? He’s doing his own thing with it, sure. But it’s not great. His singing voice is REALLY whiny, and the rap parts are just OK. I think Chris might be better than this. Or maybe he’s just average with a lot of hype.

Phillip Lomax:I’m a Believer. Is he in a pageant? Because this is a pageant performance. Like the act between evening gowns and swimsuit that no one really pays attention to. The music is also drowning him out almost completely at times. Poor Phillip. Doomed from the start. He’ll never measure up to the buzzier boys in this group.

Totally Team Marcus now.

Nicole thinks it was “amazing.” Paula likes his smile. Simon thinks it was “cheap” and “throwaway.” L.A. is “proud.”

Marcus Canty:Do You Really Want To Hurt Me? Best of the bunch. Marcus’ performance has style, soul and star power. Savvy song choice, too. He makes it his own but still showcases serious pop-crossover appeal, which is so important. I think I’m suddenly TEAM MARCUS. Really, really great.

Nicole says he was “born to be on that stage.” Paula “loved that performance.” Simon calls it “brilliant.” L.A. says he “stepped up.”

Going home: Buh-bye, Lomax. No surprise. Take your fedora and that smug face with you.

On to Paula and the groups — including some Houston faces:

Stereo Hogzz:Try a Little Tenderness. This is everything they’ve been building toward with previous performances. It’s energetic and modern, with a touch of old-school. The Houston boys bring it 100-percent. Really, really fantastic. H-towwwwwn. We’ll see them next week.

L.A. calls it really, really good. Nicole thinks it was “current and classic.” Simon “loves this band.” Paula is pleased.

The Brewer Boys:Rich Girl/Faith? Annnnnd there’s the door. I appreciate the idea of a mashup, but why couldn’t one of the songs be from this decade? This century? It just doesn’t go anywhere. Their harmonies have never sounded as strong as they did in the first audition. And those dancers — UNNECESSARY.

inTENsity:Footloose mashup. More Houston talent on deck! I see you, Ma’at Bingham Shango and Lauren Ashley Redmond! Smart, timely move with that song, Paula. It’s impossible not to be swept up in their energy. But how about letting us hear some of the other voices?

Dexter Haygood: Womanzier/I Kissed a Girl. What the … How … Why … WHAT KIND OF POP SENIOR-CITIZEN HELL IS THIS? I don’t know if I love this or I hate this. It’s crazy and bad and great and insane and everything it shouldn’t be. This has to be performance art of some kind. I feel like I have a hangover when it’s done.

L.A. thinks he found himself. Paula squawks. Simon calls it “the weirdet milkshake in the world.” Nicole thinks he as “the Dex-factor.”

Leroy Bell:Nobody Knows. He has a lovely voice, and he definitely has the look. AND HE’S HOW OLD? But this is a little too AC-radio for my taste. James Ingram much?

Stacy Francis:One More Try. Yes, ma’am! She is giving us Patti Labelle realness. Stacy is an astounding singer, and I appreciate that she pulled back some for this performance. That said, I’m gonna need her to RIP IT UP AGAIN next week. That’s where she truly soars.

Josh Krajcik: Forever Young. I know this is supposed to be a MOMENT, and it is effective, to a point. But the lights and the hushed tone and the echoing. It all feels a bit rehearsed. I like Josh, but he needs to think about coming across as current. Reality star doesn’t equal music star.

L.A. calls him “one of the greatest singers in this competition.” Paula says it’s her “favorite voice in the past decade.” Simon calls him “the real deal.” Nicole thinks it was “soul-stirring.”

Going home: Dexter Haygood. As it should be.

Best for last? Simon and the girls.

Simone Battle: Just Be Good To Me. WOW. Simone could have really brought it in a big way. This, however, is borderline terrible. And the song choice is mostly to blame. There are too many people onstage, and she’s swallowed up in too much production. Her voice also wavers in and out. Not a good start at all, Simon.

L.A. “don’t get it.” Nicole tells Simon it was “predictable.” Paula thinks there were too many dancers. Simon defends her until the end. The judges’ table gets very icy.

Rachel Crow: Where Did Our Love Go?/Baby. I think Rachel is adorable. She’s also cool, current and doesn’t come across like one of those weird kid singers. I think she’s REALLY young for a show of this scale and as a solo act. But I’d like to see more of her.

L.A. thinks she could be a “star.” Nicole didn’t like the song. Paula agrees with Nicole. Simon likes it, of course.

Drew:Flashdance. No last name needed. Drew sounds great, but Simon’s song choices are absolutely the worst of the night. That said, she’s an easy in. I’d just like to see her break out a bit in the next few weeks.

Do we already have a winner? (FOX)

L.A. calls her “the whole package.” Nicole says it took her breath away. Paula calls her “way beyond your years.” Simon says she’s the reason why he wanted to be back on American TV.

Tiah Tolliver: Sweet Dreams. I’m with Simon on this one. I LOVE TIAH. There’s just something about her that clicks with me. And this was a star performance.

L.A. says nothing of value. Nicole is being a hater. Paula keeps the hate-train rolling. Simon thinks she was “great” and calls his female cohorts “spiteful little cats.”

Melanie Amaro:I Have Nothing. THIS SONG. UGH. One of the most overdone in singing competition history. It’s almost impossible to judge at this point. Melanie is fantastic, but this just puts her in the reality-diva pack. She’s better than that. Please stop giving her obvious song choices and let her win this show. Because she can.

L.A. says she “knocked it out of the park.” Nicole calls her “so special.” Paula says the same thing. Simon keeps talking about how hard his decision is going to be.

Going home: Simone and Tiah. I figured. But not without a quick shoutout for Simone’s new music video! GENIUS.