The arc of history is irrelevant to most of us. Ok. Maybe better said is that we are relatively indifferent to the arc of history.

Most of us get up, drink our coffee and get going doing what we need to do that day. In doing so we cannot see any fucking arc, we just see what is in front of us. The arc can only vaguely be seen when we look at the news or talk with friends or maybe see some high falutin’ presentation on trends that supposedly impact our business in terms of sales and shit like that.

And we wonder why the world can seem so cold sometimes? Geez. That is our view for the most part. It is our daily grind (responsibilities) interspersed with some outside news filtering in for some perspective.

I would suggest any arc seems like it can almost be a straight line rather than any arc we can see. It can sometimes seem like a straight line of no change, or, a lot of bad shit with small drops of good shit mixed in.

But that’s not reality. The reality is that time and … well … our lives … do arc.

Just like when you are a ship in a harbor thinking about leaving the horizon looks flat and finite. And, yet, once you leave the harbor you realize that the horizon was simply a reflection of where you were and where you stood and that the reality was the world, the universe, arcs and bends to things you could not see from where you once stood.

Yeah. Sometimes that is hard to see.

Yeah. Sometimes we don’t have any time to think about it.

Yeah. But we should … at least on occasion. Because the arc occurs whether we see it or not. You have to be able to figure out how to get done whatever has to be done or the arc will show you what has to be done <or at least the context within which you will make your choices of what you will do>.

Look. I buy the fact that the arc of time bends toward justice. But I think it neglects to point out that people inevitably define the arc. It neglects to point out justice, or ‘good’, is not simply part of the ether, but resides in the hearts & minds of people. Well. What that means is the arc resides within us. All of us. Not just someone standing up in front of us trying to tell us what the arc is or should be.

I sometimes think we mistaken society, a country or a civilization is like a big tanker and we hire someone or elect some to jump onto the bridge of the ship and lead it out of the harbor. That is not so. You would be mistaken to think that. Each one of us is a little ship. We are a fleet of a variety of ships, boats and scows restlessly bobbing in the harbor from which we can actually leave or stay as we wish.

When we hire a leader, or elect someone, we – we little fleet of ships – are actually seeking a flagship. Someone who dares to leave the harbor and lead us over the arc of the horizon. Lead us beyond the current routes we take, lead us beyond the fishing grounds we have always used and lead us to new lands that maybe we had only heard of before.

But. We, we little fleet of ships, also control the voyages because within the hearts & minds of each of the captains resides justice and what is good & right and decide to follow, float or seek freedom.

Therefore we control the arc and bend of justice. No leader does.

I will suggest, consciously or subconsciousnessly, people tend to follow, or guide, based on justice therefore the arc will bend — sometimes too slowly — toward the goodness which resides in humankind. Just like a ship in harbor looking out from a harbor that goodness can sometimes be difficult to see when looking at the horizon but, I can guarantee this, if you leave the harbor it is easier to see.

Well. There is a shitlaod of advice on focus but the truth is that learning what to disregard is one of the most difficult things in the world.

To be clear. This isn’t really about ignoring shit nor is this about tuning out distractions, this is more about acknowledgement of and the inevitable ‘setting aside’ of things. In other words, deciding ‘the rest is not our business.’

Simplistically, there is a huge difference between disregard and ignore.

Disregard implies a denial of attention to somethingbecause of superior knowledge or more pressing considerations.

Ignore particularly stresses that something has been rejected without any conscious consideration while disregard can suggest a more careful, conscious evaluation that results in dismissal.

So this becomes a combination of deciding what to omit and what to not omit … what is essential and what is unessential.

This is hard as shit.

To anyone who hasn’t had to deal with this on a consistent basis in business, this whole issue gets disregarded as bullshit … ‘because common sense will tell you what is essential and what is not’.

Wrong.

And wrong again.

And let me say again … that is really really wrong.

If it were that easy, that much common sense, we would be the most efficient sonofabitches in the world.

We are not.

Speaking personally, for a curious person like me, I can quite easily find myself going down senseless rabbit holes and teasing out useless information from … well … useless information.

Everything is interesting to me, therefore, purposefully being disinterested in something seems just wrong.

Yeah. If I do this too often I become relatively useless to people. I know a lot about many things that are, frankly, not really worth knowing a lot about.

Here is what I know about recognizing something as something to be regarded and the ability to disregard the others as just ‘things’. When viewed correctly, some things show you how to interpret what is <and, I imagine, what could be>. This means that the things to disregard are the ones which will not help you in any way change ‘what is’ because, inevitably, I imagine the point of anything is to change what is. Ok. That’s just how I filter things. Ponder and choose your own filter <but have a filter>

=====

“To develop the skill of correct thinking is in the first place to learn what you have to disregard.

In order to go on, you have to know what to leave out: this is the essence of effective thinking.”

Kurt Godel

==========

Now. My last thought may create some disagreement with people. They may disagree that the point of things, in general, is to change what is <in other words, change shouldn’t apply to everything>.

Well. Here is my point.

Left alone, things will decline or deteriorate/decay in some form or fashion.

This includes thoughts and thinking. Unfortunately, even a great thought declines in value the longer it remains stagnant and static.

I would point out that the mind, itself, is exactly the same <some philosopher called this ‘the principle of entropy’>. The basic principle is that while good things happen to people within events the general arc of things tends to be negative. Therefore someone or something needs to arise to prevent the natural downward arc. But that ‘thing’ needs to be refreshed or replaced because their impact is biggest initially and loses effectiveness against the downward trend over time.

Uhm.

What that suggests is things you should disregard will vary depending on the context and the time.

What that suggests is things you should disregard will most likely not be a replication of something in the past.

What that suggests is things you should disregard are most likely not uncovered most easily by ‘common sense.’

What that suggests is things you should disregard are most likely derived through a need to separate fact from fiction and then an assessment of the value & relevance of the facts.

Nothing in what I just shared is easy.

Nothing in what I just shared suggests identifying ‘the rest is not our business’ is easy.

I do know that being successful in business management and leadership often tilts on how well you are able to identify what is ‘not our business.’

Life is not particularly kind to people who suck at not discerning what to disregard, but it rarely kills you for this suckedness.

Business is particularly unkind to people who suck at not discerning what to disregard. Not mastering, even partially, this skill will cost you promotions and, even worse, trust in independent work. Once you are deemed a shitty assessor of ‘not our business’ type of shit you will have someone looking over your shoulder for the rest of your professional career.

I end on that last thought mostly because anyone who wants to rise in a business organization knows this and they are most likely to handle that by going to the complete other side of the spectrum, i.e., make everything their business <yeah … they are the ones who claim to be perfectionists and do everything, even the unnecessary under the guise of ‘not leaving any T’s uncrossed and I’s undotted … but it is their fear of leaving the wrong things in the ‘not our business’ bucket>. They are horrible, pain in the ass’s, to work with.

Anyway. ‘The rest is not our business’ is really hard to identify.

The only thing I can suggest is ‘practice makes perfect.’ The only way to get better at it is to do it <but you will never be perfect>.

And as long as you can navigate the inevitable mistakes in judgment along the way you will do fine and will actually become fairly good at judging what to regard versus disregard.

Refugees from that brave new world you have over there. Pilgrims in search of your Mecca … only you have no Mecca.

You’ve rejected one world and can’t quite smuggle your way into another so you wander like lost souls among all the libraries, museums, palaces and cathedrals of Europe … never quite seeing or catching hold of anything that lies outside those musty, but god knows elegant, interiors. It’s called ‘finding oneself’ I believe … as if a self can exist at the end of some tourist’s itinerary like a pot of gold.

Yet it’s kind of a fear isn’t it? A fear of Life.”

=

Celestial chess

—

“I have a deep fear of being too much.

That one day I will find my someone, and they will realize that I ama hurricane.

That they will step back and be intimidatedby my muchness. “

=

Michelle K.

———

So. Muchness. Muchness is what resides within each one of us. The problem is Life, in general, encourage us to exhibit, well, much less. Therefore we seem to spend a lot of time in the wretched hollow between our muchness and what we believe the world can accept of our muchness. In other words, we are always seek to constrict not expand.

Oddly this creates a lot of self reflection. A lot of “who am I”, finding onself and defining what is the right level of public muchness. We search as in “as if a self can exist at the end of some tourist’s itinerary like a pot of gold.”Far too often finding one’s muchness, paradoxically, seems a lot like stagnancy. There may seem like a lot of movement in that you may be moving around a lot <going places, visiting libraries, museums, palaces and cathedrals of Europe>, but in actuality, you are stagnant … personally.

All the movement appears to be some kind of search within oneself, but you are doing it by seeking ‘out-of-self’ things. Worse? Your self search often gets judged by what cues the ‘out-of-self- things provide you. Its almost like the search makes you a refugee from yourself. You invest energy not on progress but rather in searching backwards or ‘within’ <by viewing within the past for insights> to find ‘something.’

Well. This all seems crazy to me. Seems like maybe by the time you finish your search the rest of the world has moved on by. I would suggest time may be better served by something in which typical ‘finding oneself’ discussions do not appear to encompass — the word ‘disturbing.’ As in maybe ‘disturbing oneself.’ As in disturbing the universe. Kind of like shaking the personal etch a sketch a bit and in doing so be willing to shake the societal status quo of “what you should expect” etch a sketch..

By the way, to me, the fact ‘disturbing’ rarely is included in any ‘finding oneself’ discussion is crazy. Mostly because emotion is the energy for change and I would argue emotion is the engine for muchness.

Ok. What the hell am I talking about? The roots of disturb is the latin word – Emovere.

===

<latin> emovere: to disturb

===

Emotion literally means disturbance. The word emotion comes from the Latin emovere meaning “to disturb.” Therefore, emovere can be seen as a version of how we find ourselves. A combination of emotion & disturb is the creation of one’s muchness.

Look. Disturb may sound, well, disturbing or maybe a little extreme but, what the hell, you spend gobs of energy going out and about having rejected one world and can’t quite smuggle your way into another so you wander like lost souls.

The whole idea of ‘finding oneself’ all with the overall intent to seek opportunities to find out about ourselves and discover your muchness, i.e., what we are made up of and what we can be.

Disturbing, at its core, is about shifting shit so that opportunities can be uncovered.

This leads me to a guy named Pittacus … one of the Seven Sages of Greece. While each of the seven sages was supposed to represent an edict of worldly knowledge <Solon of Athens was actually “know thyself”> it was Pittacus who proposed ‘you should know which opportunities to choose.’

—

Other Pittacus Quotes

“It is hard to be good”

“Know when to act”

“Seize Time by the forelock.”

–

Disturbing is the energy which creates opportunities <not wandering the world of libraries and museums> and then … well … you gotta know which opportunities to choose.

Shit. No wonder we decide to try and find oneself by wandering the world, it sounds a shitload easier than disturbing, recognizing opportunities, than actually knowing which opportunities to choose. In fact all that sure sounds like there is lots of room for errors or missed opportunities are even a lot of bad choices.

Well. That’s the deal if you want to find yourself and let the world see your muchness.

It ain’t easy. And there is a lot of room for mistakes and bad choices. You gotta keep your eye on the prize.

Now. ‘Muchness’ is a great thing for you … uhm … but can be scary for others around you.

However. Not everyone, in fact, I would suggest the majority of us never discover our maximum muchness. Most of us just find crumbs of our muchness <and are quite satisfied>.

Some of us just get a bite or two of our muchness <and that is even more satisfying>. And then there are the few who actually find ‘oneself’ and all their muchness. Which leads me back to where I opended today:

————

“I have a deep fear of being too much.

That one day I will find my someone, and they will realize that I ama hurricane. That they will step back and be intimidatedby my muchness. “

—————–

Well. This makes me think that maybe the reason most of us go about finding ourselves the wrong way is because most of us fear becoming the hurricane we could be. Muchness is scary. Muchness is not only a little scary to ourselves but absolutely can be intimidating to others. Hence … “you can be a little too much on occasion.” Frankly, this is where it gets tricky. When you hear that you naturally pull in your muchness. Which is a little nuts. Nuts because YOU can handle your muchness its OTHERS who cannot – its their issue and not yours.

Anyway.

I imagine my real point in all of this is that while finding oneself is not easy once you embrace your muchness it gets difficult.Here’s what I do know.

Let’s be honest. Most of us, even if we are really lucky, will only find crumbs of our muchness. Yup, even if we do most of the formula right … just crumbs. And that is manageable. And while crumbs sounds … well … crummy. It’s not. They represent glimpses of our greatness. The muchness inside us is the best of our best … the best version of I … the greatness within.

And even if we only get a glimpse of it? Well. In the immortal words of the coach in the movie The Replacements:

==

“Greatness, no matter how brief, stays with you forever.”

Gene Hackman <the replacements>

==

Finding oneself truly has to be done with some intent of finding some greatness <I mean, c’mon, why else would we invest energy doing it?>. It’s all about finding whatever glimpse of greatness, of muchness, we have within us <and most everyone has at least a glimpse>. And why wouldn’t we seek to find ‘oneself’ the right way?

Fear.

The opening quote suggested ‘a fear of Life.’ Well. I would suggest it would be more ‘a fear of Muchness’.

Regardless.

Suffice it to say that Self, or our’ muchness’, does not exist at the end of some tourist’s itinerary like a pot of gold. And that said … remember … if you truly desire to ‘find yourself’ don’t head out like a pilgrim in search of your mecca just think one word – emovere.

In other words … Disturb.

Disturb your world and your universe and watch for the opportunities and don’t fear your muchness and, mos importantly, don’t let the outside world’s fear of your muchmness make you make your much a lesser version of what it can be.

Embrace your muchness and disturb the universe. I could think of worse advice.

“I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see.”

—-

John Burroughs

==============

Well. I originally wrote this at the end of 2016 for 2017 and when rereading I said “Holy Shit!” <to myself> I want to say the same thing heading into 2018 <and now 2019!!>. So I am. I have gone back through and made some slight revisions but the thought still remains the same <2017 was almost as shitty a year as 2016>.

It seems at the end of every year I have written something about predictions for the upcoming year <some right and some wrong>. But this year it is about attitude and only about attitude for 20172018 2019.

Why? It would be incredibly easy to say 20162017 2018 sucked.

………. 2106 … and … 2017 ….and …. 2018 ……

I don’t care if you made gobs of money or got married or had some unfathomably awesome experience … you only had to look around you and see that pretty much everyone but you <and some nutjobs who still believe Trump is a smart businessman, smarter than the rest of us & authentic> had a shitty year.

Trump being elected president was only the bacteria ridden cherry on top of the melted sundae made with a scoop of your least favorite ice cream.

But back in July I said, unequivocally, I did not want to cancel 2016 <and I listed all the reasons why I would not> and just because some asshat was elected became president with the most powerful position in the world since then, a bunch of people passed away that seemed like it was too soon and there were a variety of misguided deeds and words randomly dispersed around the world, nothing has changed my mind. I did not want to cancel 2016 or even 2107 or even 2018.

And, maybe more importantly & relevant to how I view 2017 2018 2019, I do not believe because this year was shitty <and it was> that next year will be worse <although I was wrong about 2017 & 2018 which were just different versions of shitty>. Frankly, I don’t think it is healthy to fill your face book page or Instagram or even the coffee room in the office with all the negative perspective bullshit <or if you are a pseudo intellectual … be a nihilist>.

I will not unfollow anyone nor will I ‘de-friend’ anyone nor will I even stop talking with the doomsayers, in fact, I will take them on. I will not try and convert anyone to optimism but I certainly will lay out some pragmatic practical possibilities of what could be which do not suggest a shittier 20172018 2019 than 20162017 2018, but rather how each year is simply another year as a ‘work-in-progress.’

I read the news and watch far too many of the alternative universe spouting news channels.

Yes.

I live in the real world where bills can sometimes be tough to pay and friends lose jobs and die.

Yes.

I can certainly get discouraged on occasion and can get concerned about genuinely threatening things.

Yes.

I get a little nervous about the safety, security and direction of a nation I love.

Yes.

I am human and not out of touch.

No.

I do not think we are doomed or Armageddon is upon us.

In some ways I am the Sisyphus of pragmatic idealism <let some philosopher try and tease out the contradictory truth in that>. In The Myth of Sisyphus we view a man’s futile search for meaning, unity, and clarity in the face of an unintelligible world devoid of God and eternal truths or values and, yet, it is suggested we should never quit in the face of seeming futility but rather “no, it requires revolt.”

That said. I am fairly sure it is within the final chapter we view the situation of Sisyphus, the guy in Greek mythology who was condemned to repeat forever the same meaningless task of pushing a boulder up a mountain, only to see it roll down again. It is here in which far too often we ignore the conclusion:“The struggle itself … is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”

============

“I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain. One always finds one’s burden again. But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night-filled mountain, in itself, forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”

Albert Camus

=======

Many people just do not want to get out of bed in the morning. I am not one of those people <and, I admit, there are times I don’t understand the people who do not want to get up and get doing>. In my head it can be just as hard for those of us who always keep going as it is for those who find it hard to get going.

‘Hard’ is hard in my book.

Sure. There are days when I find myself trudging along stubbornly rather than bounding along battling. but no matter what I just cannot envision any alternative to doing.

“Doing” is what I do.

I kind of figure that doing is the only thing that will enable the pragmatic practical ‘better shit’ I believe needs to be done versus the ‘bad shit’ that may be done … if I am not doing my good shit.

And, you know what? I am doing it in 20162017 2018 and I envision doing it in 20172018 2019.

===============

“I’m not into convincing people I’m worthy.

I’m into people who’ll convince me on my worst days that I’m still worth the world.”

Reyna Biddy

=================

I have said before and will continue to say … I am not an optimist. I may be slightly idealist with regard to the inherent good in people and the belief that the arc of history bends toward what is right versus what is wrong … but an optimist I am not.

I am far too cynical and far too much of a pragmatist.

Oh. Yeah. That word ‘idealistic’ or ‘Idealism.’ I am always hesitant to toss that one out because far too often someone wants to add on ‘infantile’ or ‘unrealistic’ to it.

Maybe in my version of idealism there isn’t fantasy but rather pragmatic understanding that people do bad shit and people do good shit and that you either seek out those who do the good shit, and want to do the good shit, or sit back and let the bad shit-ters do the voodoo they do.

I refuse to let the bad shit-ters win.

I refuse even when faced with uncertainty or faced with some asshats who think their version of what good shit is the right shit.

That is my attitude. It was my attitude in 2016 2017. It has been my attitude for years. It will be my attitude in 2017 2018. And, I imagine, it will be my attitude until the day I die.

Here is what I <and all of us> have going for me in 20172018 2019.

The future is uncertain. It isn’t written in stone.

Yeah. Sure. The pessimistic ‘we are doomed’ people seem have a more certain view of the future – one in which it is impossible to imagine an alternative future to be optimistic about.

That seems silly to me.

I do not think it is optimistic to still find each day too short to get done what I want to get done and too short to do all the good shit I know should be done. That’s not optimism … that is simply a desire to do something and, preferably, to do good shit.

Remember. Doing is what I do.

If I were to say one thing about myself with regard to what I am good at <and I mostly think I am average at best> it would be my ability to get up every day and find some good shit to do. I don’t really care about the day itself nor do I pay much attention to whether any particular situation is good or bad — I just wake up every day thinking it is going to be too short to do all the good shit I want to do.

But. That there will be another ‘too short day’ the following day and I will wake up that day and get going all over again. That is my 20172018 2019. That is the only thing I find certain about the year.

…….. “But … I am doing something …………..”

That is neither hopeful nor is it optimistic that is pragmatic, practical and focused on contributing the arc of Life that I believe in.

Do I now what I am doing?

Hell no. But I am doing. And that is my attitude for 2017, 2018, 2019 and beyond.

There truly are few certainties in this world … but … I do believe that inevitably good trumps bad and that good shit gets done by people who do not believe bad shit is better. That is my attitude for 20172018 2019. And I tend to believe 20172018 2019 will be a shitload better than 20162017 2018 if more people had this attitude. I think we would all be able to do more good shit if we all believed each day was still too short for all the good shit we want to do.

“Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!”

=====

“Sportsmanship for me is when a guy walks off the court and you really can’t tell whether he won or lost, when he carries himself with pride either way.”

–

Jim Courier

============

The Olympic motto:

“The important thing in the Games is not winning but taking part.

The essential thing is not conquering but fighting well.”

=================

Well. Trump is going to remind us all of a lot of shit we want to teach our children <by reminding us of what we don’t want them to do and be>. Yeah. How scary is that?

We shake our heads at a 70 year old man over something we wouldn’t even want our 15 year old to do.

Today? Being a bad winner <and how good leaders are never bad winners>.

So. We all know what a bad loser is, but maybe we should actually talk more about what a bad winner is. That may sound strange because … well … I mean, c’mon, who would have thought someone who wins would need a lesson on how to actually be a winner.

Uhm. And who would have thought we would have to teach someone this lesson, especially someone who would be in a position to run a large organization let alone a country.

Uhm. Could you imagine a new CEO of a company who just beat out a rival in an organization for a promotion tweeting this out to all their employees? <no … no sane person could>.

Trump has a problem <okay … several> but this tweet reflects a lack of understanding on how to be a leader, how to be a good winner and that there is a difference between competitiveness mentality and a “win at all cost” mentality.

Competitors compete, compete hard, and accept the win or the loss … warts & all. Sometimes we competitors know we got a little lucky, maybe the chips fell our way because we worked hard & practiced hard, but recognize that even then the chips could have fallen the other way.

Built into our competitiveness is a belief we should win, but that on any given day we could lose.

This type of competitiveness tends to reflect itself in being a ‘good winner’ attitudinally. A little humility. A little respect for the competition. And, unless the competitor was a total asshole, an understanding that they may have lost, but they were not losers.

Someone who has to lead an organization and wants to be successful embraces this attitude.

Now. A ‘win at all costs’ mentality is a double edged bad sword.

Not only do you compete differently <rules are more suggestions than restrictions>, but your wins are an unblemished unassailable win in your mind.

Black and white – I won, you lost.

No warts. No maybes. No ‘it was close.’ Only ‘win.’

This type of competitiveness tends to not reflect upon the competition itself and that maybe, just maybe, your competition is worthy of being your friend or respected acquaintance not as a ‘loser’ but rather ‘someone with the same intent.’ This type of competitiveness rarely reflects any version of sportsmanship.

Someone who has to lead an organization and embraces this attitude does not foster a healthy culture, does not encourage unity but rather incites cut throat aggressive competitiveness, cliques and divisiveness <and a shit load of brown nosing>.

The latter is Trump. And his New Year ’s Eve tweet tells us this. Trump reflects the worst type of lesson as a leader and as a role model.

And I don’t need Trump to make this point. Watch or read the news and you will read day after day incidents displaying the loss of sportsmanship and respect for authority and opponents.

Refs, umpires and coaches are verbally and physically assaulted.

Parents are sometimes excessive in the way they push their kids to be the best.

Coaches are demanding perfection from their players and punish them when they give anything less.

Trump?

Trump just calls people who didn’t vote for him ‘losers’.

Trump demeans media that fairly criticizes him as ‘dishonest’ or ‘failing.’

Trump demeans loyalty of followers but does not share loyalty of they cannot contribute to the win.

I imagine my main issue, beyond the fact this type of competitiveness does not encourage unity, is that I expect my President to be a role model for ‘better’ and not play to the worst of us.

And while I abhor bad winners I have a larger issue with what Mr. President Elect Trump is doing.

Children learn by example. We need to be extremely careful that kids do not get mixed messages from mentors and role models.

So what example are they getting from Trump? How to be a bad winner.

<and I am not sure he cares what lesson he is sharing with the young or if he is simply oblivious to his responsibility to be a role model>

He won. He is going to be our president <note: even of the “losers & enemies”>. He needs to start acting like a good winner and a tough respectful competitor and, well, act like a fucking leader and not a ‘loser’.

Look.

It is an honor and privilege to play a game and compete at a high level.

It is an honor and a privilege to compete for the presidency and serve as a president.

It is NOT an honor and a privilege to win – that is reserved for the competition itself. The win itself deserves respect.

That is what we all need to remember and teach our children.

Competition in and of itself is supposed to be about being the best we are capable of and respecting our own abilities as well as respecting others regardless of whether their best is better than our best.

Sports are inherently competitive <hence the reason there is a winner and a loser>. Life is inherently competitive <hence the reasons some people get promotions and some do not>.

And, let’s face it; competition brings out the best, and worst, in everyone. But I imagine my point then is that competition, and sportsmanship, inevitably is about character. And that competition, and winning or losing, makes a person’s real character come out.

Oh. I hate to break the news to everyone, competition and how you handle it takes work and training and shaping and thoughtfulness.

Sportsmanship SHOULD be simple. But it’s not. Losing hurts and winning can easily create feelings of blinding euphoria.

You can teach principles of good sportsmanship to anyone but, in the end, it’s about each person & experience.

Children watch.

They see cheating, lying, badmouthing, complaining to officials … all of which are reflections of someone’s character. More people need to take responsibility <and not blame “the game” or “the moment” or … well … anything>.

I suggest Mr. President-elect do so.

If you win, you do so with grace <because if you do even your competitors will respect you … and potentially follow you>.

If you lose, you do so with grace < because if you do even your competitors will respect you … and potentially follow you>.

Cheaters do win. Maybe not philosophically, but in the win/loss column. That is where I like to point out to people winning or losing is about character.

There are a couple of scoreboards for people who play sports.

One is the win/loss record.

One is a life scoreboard.

Sportsmanship shows up on the life scoreboard. While I wish more people would pay attention to that second scoreboard I am fairly sure with our new President, who possibly embodies the penultimate ‘bad winner’, it is going to be tougher and tougher to teach our young people what matters.

=======

believe in the truth.
I believe that every good thought I have,
All men shall have.

Kenneth Patchen

========

This new year’s tweet from Trump was horrible. Horrible not just from a personal perspective but also from a business leader perspective <no sane CEO or president of a company would ever send a tweet out like this> and also from a President’s perspective <who supposedly is seeking to unite a country … all 320 million people … not just his 60 million>.

Trump is doing everything we teach our children not to do if they win.

Which makes me ask: how can it be that a person who can’t even articulate a New Year’s wish is going to be the leader of a country I love?

He is a playing a dangerous game. And I wish he would play the game differently.

I respected Jim Courier as a tennis player and I respect his words even more … “sportsmanship for me is when a guy walks off the court and you really can’t tell whether he won or lost, when he carries himself with pride either way.”

Trump has walked off the court and refuses to carry himself with pride, or even a dose of humility let alone respect the win. And if one of his heinous surrogates comes back at me and suggests “they cannot accept the win” or “they are undermining his election” and that he isn’t creating the issue in public I have two words for you — “shut up.”

If he chooses to lead … he owns his win, he owns the narrative and he owns the topic. He has not elected to show leadership yet.

This may be the understatement of the year … he is not a gracious winner.

This New Year’s Eve Trump tweet is an embarrassment to the presidency.

I expect more, and better, from any leader let alone my President Elect.

For the latter, well, just see the gobs of information and quotes online with regard to “if you aren’t moving forward you are standing still” … “don’t look back or you’ll miss what is in front of you” … “don’t look back you are not going that way” or some fortune cookie wisdom like that <as if no one knows that movement, and progress, is good>. I call this the ‘forward progress theory’ business <I have noted elsewhere Life, like chess, is about facing the entire board and obstacles & opportunities which lie all around you, not just in front of you, & you can move in a variety of directions with progress in mind>.

That said.

With regard to progress, the bravest thing you can do is to not look back. Why do I say ‘brave’? We make it really hard to not look back. Really hard. Day in and day out everything around you pounds on you for ‘what did you learn’ and how are you applying it and ‘if you don’t know learnings from the past how can you be sure that is the right thing to do?” <crap like that>.

Okay. Semi useful thinking crap like that. But what it really means is that anyone truly desiring to move forward, intent on progress, keeps getting dragged back time and again to the past. What, or who, is the main culprit of this almost unhealthy relationship with the past?

“Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to make the same mistakes.”

Christalmighty.“Doomed.”

No wonder people are afraid of some risk or hesitate to move forward keep looking backwards. Doom is never a particularly desirable objective if you care about your career <or anything for that matter>.

The ‘doomed’ aspect <which older business people toss around like confetti in meetings> means we are almost demanded to not only invest energy in the past but, in some cases, encouraged to hold on to past learning with ragged claws. That said … I will go back to the bravery aspect because I could argue the truest bravery, in this sense, resides in two places:

Not looking back once you have decided to move forward.

Not looking back when you purposefully stand still.

Yeah.

First.Move.There are actually times to just go. Go and do. I do not mean ‘go’ as solely leaning on instincts <I call this ‘decision faking by intuition‘>, because research tends to show instincts are less important than experience, but lean on your experience to guide you through the context of your progress. The truth is that the past cannot show you all the shit you need to know as you move forward. It only shows aspects of shit you should be aware of. And, worse, the past has nasty habit of not encouraging you to reflect on the context of all the aspects just the aspects themselves. Therefore history is truly only important in parts and not the whole.

This means you have to grab the scraps of what you need from the past and create a new whole in moving forward. That is where bravery steps up to the plate. More often than not you are creating a new whole … a slightly different version of what was. Yeah. That is different than the past <it s actually something new>. Yeah. Everyone is actually a creator, a discoverer albeit we don’t like to think about that. While this point is a generalization … if you know your shit … once you have decided to go … to move forward … don’t look back. Bravely face the new world ahead.

Yeah.

Second.Stand still. There are actually times to stop. Stand still. Even amidst activity. Even amidst a crowd which seems like it is moving forward <albeit sometimes all you see is the movement>.

Stillness, strategic stillness, is possibly one of the scariest things anyone can ever do. When everyone and everything is moving you feel like you are ding something wrong in standing still. And, yet, by purposefully doing so you may be adding to the progress rather than taking away from it.

Here is what I know about purposefully standing still.

You have to accept the fact you are offering the type of energy that no matter where you are and no matter that you are still & not moving you are actually adding value to the space and time and progress to that which is around you. I can promise you that this takes a version of bravery.

Anyway.

The entire ‘Forward progress Theory’ is difficult. Difficult in the mind <attitudes> and even in practice <behavior>. I could argue that it is so difficult because our natural instinct is to try and use the past to define what the future will look like. That is slightly crazy when you think about it. While the arc of time suggests the future will most likely replicate the past, well, that is the arc and not the details. It’s kind of like discussing strategy versus tactics. The strategy may remain the same or similar, but the tactics will vary in the context of time & situation.

Progress does take some bravery, some courage. Mostly because the future will always contain something you have never seen before or faced before. In other words … it will not be the same as it was.

I don’t think I am particularly brave but I certainly don’t look back once I decide to go … and I have no qualms with standing still amidst movement. I tend to believe it is not bravery but rather experience.

Ah. Experience. Maybe you need to be brave to gain useful experience?

Ok.

That’s another post for another day ……..

===================

“Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, ‘So what’.

“Cowardice” and “self-respect” have largely disappeared from public discourse.

In their place we are offered “self-esteem” as the bellwether of success and a proxy for dignity.

“Self-respect” implies that one recognizes standards, and judges oneself worthy by the degree to which one lives up to them.

“Self-esteem” simply means that one feels good about oneself.”

Dignity” used to refer to the self-mastery and fortitude with which a person conducted himself in the face of life’s vicissitudes and the boorish behavior of others.

Now, judging by campus speech codes, dignity requires that we never encounter a discouraging word and that others be coerced into acting respectfully, evidently on the assumption that we are powerless to prevent our degradation if exposed to the demeaning behavior of others.

These are signposts proclaiming the insubstantiality of our character, the hollowness of our souls.

=

A NATION OF COWARDS
Jeffrey R. Snyder 1993

———————–

“Tragedy in life normally comes with betrayal and compromise, and trading on your integrity and not having dignity in life. That’s really where failure comes.”

=

Tom Cochrane

———————-

So.

What is the biggest failure in today’s world? What is the biggest tragedy <or possibly ‘travesty’> in today’s world?

In my mind it is quite possibly our betrayal of integrity and dignity. It could quite possibly be the fact we have shelved dignity to some dusty shelf all the while proclaiming the insubstantiality of our character, the hollowness of our souls.

Look.

I am a hope guy, but on occasion I look around the world and find hope is buried underneath a lot of despair. Ok. Certainly buried under a lot of ‘less than desirable’ behavior by people. And while it is easy to seek blame in politicians and leadership and religion it is harder, but possibly a truer and more valuable exercise, to look at ourselves and individual action. I would argue that within looking at ourselves, undertaking this personal reflection, one has to wonder about dignity in today’s society.

The idea of dignity seems simple enough. But it is actually fairly complex.

Well. As I think about dignity I think <or it feels this way> the meaning of dignity has shifted over time. Oh. I don’t mean this as a generational thing. I just mean it as that over the span of decades dignity is being defined, and thought of, differently. I cannot figure out why because while dignity as an idea is a timeless one it has become wrapped in a ‘dated’ aspect.

To me dignity should be unshifting. It should be a conviction with regard to how one lives, and values, Life.

To me it retains a belief of a some higher potential of acting within some moral excellence construct. Something that resonates throughout everyone’s actions.

Am I too idealistic? Do I ask too much of people? Well. I would ask everyone: what is Life if not meant to be faced with dignity?

In fact. Dignity seems, to me, to be of higher value than wisdom or enlightenment or even respect. Dignity is part of the soul of which resides within each of us … it represents the substantialness of individual character. In other words … it is the foundation upon which all else is built. It is a foundation which one could argue provides the strength to face the inevitable of Life.

Life is often is a battle against the inevitable <and feel free and define inevitable any way you would like>.

Regardless. To face the fate Life gives us is to have the courage to live even if it means not doing everything that everyone else expects we should have done, and even ourselves might have wished, and do so with perhaps more dignity … than wisdom.

Now.

To be clear when I discuss this betrayal to dignity, to me, we have surrendered our sense of dignity — it was not taken away.

———–

“One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”

Michael J. Fox

——————-

Suffice it to say we have surrendered in the most despicable way — we have become silent with regard to dignity. Yes. Silent. We just don’t speak about dignity often these days. And without speaking … the silence has become overcome with other words & thoughts. Overcome with words & thoughts like wealth and power, success and fame.

These are selfish esteem characteristics <or selfish aspects of character> which represent the hollowness of the soul. In addition. Lost in their glamor & fame is that they are outcomes of behavior not outcomes of character and, yet, I sometimes believe we confuse the outcomes.

As one online writer said … “we have become convinced we are nothing but packets of protoplasm governed by selfish genes, clever monkeys with college degrees and business cards plying across highways rather than trees.”

I don’t argue that living in today’s world that it isn’t difficult to activate your selfish genes. The world almost demands you do <’no one will take care of yourself but yourself’>. But by permitting the selfish genes to take over we have foregone some very important Life aspects.

Things like:

Living with dignity.

Dignity of actions.

Dignity of attitude.

Dignity of self.

While it certainly seems like we are in a ‘selfish driven world’ <or at least an “I-driven” world> … when I think about dignity <which I imagine I do far too often> I admit that I am a little surprised that dignity has fallen down so far on our list of ‘desired character attributes.’

Why am I surprised?

Well.

Getting back to the “I-driven” world — dignity, at its core, is closely connected with the idea of individuality. It is associated with how one sees oneself as well as how one reflects upon one’s distinctness, or clarity of self as seen by others, in Life. And I, or self reflection, is a pretty powerful motivator with regard to character.

Individuality means self-control and self-mastery, freedom from the sway of passion and prejudice, the ability to actively determine oneself.

In fact … I could suggest that to live with dignity means to be one’s own master. Ruler of your own empire as it were. Certainly master of your own destiny.

Unfortunately Life is infringing on all our “I” objectives. It seems like the grind of everyday Life is making us think less of our own ‘empire’ <that would be our character and self respect> and more about what we think of as ‘survival’ <just making it through the day>.

That is scary to me. Scary for not only civilization but scary with regard to … well … one’s soul.

Sure. Discussing dignity may sound strange <if not frivolous> in today’s world when our frantic struggle to make ends meet hardly allows us the time to ponder such lofty things. But if we do pause a moment to give this question a little thought, we would realize soon enough that it is not merely the idle musing of someone with too much time on his hands. The question not only touches on the very meaning of our lives, but goes even beyond us personally in that it impacts culture.

For if it isn’t possible to live with dignity then life is simply measured by outcomes < wealth and power, success and fame>. I find it hard to imagine that the sense of the idea of living with dignity doesn’t have some intrinsic value to who and what we are as people.

—–

So many roads, so much at stake

So many dead ends, I’m at the edge of the lake

Sometimes I wonder what it’s gonna take

To find dignity.

Bob Dylan

—-

Look. I know Life is far from simple. And ‘dignity’ is challenged daily by a Life that is difficult and complex and filled with conflicts <decisions and choices> and moral ambiguity.

Every day, even though we may only see our ‘to do list’, we face numerous crossroad moments each of which offer a potential step toward either good or bad <evil>. And often you cannot see down the path you have just taken a step on. This moral complexity can sometimes make life a pretty painful struggle, but at the same time it also creates a fertile opportunity for growing a healthy dignity.

I would suggest it is at, and within, the everyday ambiguous crossroads moments, choices & decisions in Life that we can either rise to the heights of greatness or fall to almost incomprehensible depths of ‘less than.’

This can become an even more overwhelming thought as you recognize these everyday crossroad moments continuously branch out from the present moment and choice and all the while each choice depends on us as an individual to choose.

I would actually argue that deciding to face Life, and people, with dignity can make this all easier if not simpler.

We face the choicewith dignity … or we don’t.

We face the choice with blame … or respect for our responsibility within the moment.

We face the choice, each as a smaller moral choice, as a building block for not only our individual dignity … but a larger building block for the dignity in human life.

Now. I am not suggesting that dignity either comes easy or without a cost.

———

The fight for justice against corruption is never easy. It never has been and never will be.

In the end, I believe, as in my case, the price we pay is well worth holding on to our dignity.

Frank Serpico

————————-

I included this quote to remind everyone that each crossroad is fraught with peril and that corruption can be tangible as in crime or intangible as in the soul of Life itself. At each crossroad .Life, and choices, attempts to corrupt your dignity. And maybe that is why we elect to not discuss dignity as much as we should.

I don’t know.

All I know is that dignity SHOULD be discussed more and we should recognize it has value and we should understand dignity is not easily won. It is won through deeds and choices.

===

“Honour is purchas’d by the deeds we do.”

Marlowe

===

And its victory brings a reward that isn’t measured in some tangible outcome but rather through a quiet personal Life dignity which can sometimes only offer an affirmation a Life well lived.

Anyway.

Living a life of dignity is not easy. You have to say no to those around you, you have to say no to society and you most importantly have to say no to yourself. With the sheer amount of everyday crossroad moments each and every one of us faces … we need to maintain a certain discipline to maintain our dignity.

===

“Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.”

Abraham Joshua Heschel

==

Dignity is a self-thing … what I mean by that is … well … it is a measurement of self. Not really an external measurement. Dignity is actually a combination of attitude & behavior … an acceptance and an action. Dignity is accepting the things ‘not done’ or things we need to apologize for:

Words.

Actions.

Omissions.

Dignity is measuring oneself’s actions … failing to step up, or step in, or step to someone’s side <when they needed it>.

Dignity is standing there and say you’re sorry. Say you’re sorry, say why you’re sorry, and take all the blame. No less, no more <without including anything that places even the tiniest amount of blame back on the other person>.

Dignity is recognizing you are a work in progress … seeking to be better than before … and accepting it publicly.

And maybe that is what I wish we would remember most about dignity … and talk about it … and aspire to live a more dignified life. Living life in the best way you can, the most honorable way possible and, well, just try to be better than the day before.

——

“He felt he was himself and did not want to be otherwise.

He only wanted to be better than he had been before. “

Leo Tolstoy

===

In the end. Maybe this is all I really need to say about Dignity.

Dignity, in the end, is understanding that no one is your enemy … except maybe yourself.

“Shut the fuck up … don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment; it’s a competition none of us agreed to.”

—

(via aussie-with-glasses)

==============

Ok. This isn’t about society & women & standards <although I have written many times on that topic> this is about competitions we don’t agree to in Life, in a society that creates them and a sense of “self” in which we are constantly trying to find meaning in the competition of ‘doing’. Many of us can go through life doing the best we can trying to get along and, in general, view most things in life as a journey and not some race and … well … sometimes people, things and society have a different view.

What this means is you are demanded to compete in some competition you really never agreed to.

Let me explain. There are absolutely a bunch of people out there who define themselves by competition. They seek to find validation & actualization through some comparison versus what others are doing <this, basically, is competition>. And then there are people like me <I do not know how many there are of us but I imagine it is a fairly significant %>. While I like winning and, on occasion, a good competition gets the heart rate up and ‘ups my game’ the majority of the time I don’t view Life when I wake up and go to work as a competition with anyone and anything but myself. I simply want to do good things <epic shit if possible> do the best I can and better than I did yesterday. I guess my competition is yesterday not other people. That said. I am not naïve. I know that everyday I wake up and go to work I am entering into ‘the Thunderdome’ and entering into some competition that I didn’t really agree to.

=========

“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.”

Steve Maraboli

============

I don’t like it. But I recognize it. As often as I can, I avoid the competitions I don’t agree to.

By the way … if you google “how to deal with competitions you do not agree to” you will get zilch, zero, no results on that topic.

None.

Ponder that for a second.

All that said.

This does mean that you receive compliments as well as criticisms based on competitions you didn’t agree to.

And that is aggravating. It is like you are being judged by the Race Walking Olympic judges, with scores you don’t really care about, because you were just out jogging that day. Day in and day out people who really do not want to compete, other than with their own standards, are faced with having to accommodate competition they didn’t agree to.

What a fucking pain in the ass. I would also point out it sounds incredibly inefficient and time wasting.

Look. I am not suggesting some competition isn’t bad. I am suggesting that we go fucking overboard with regard to ‘forcing competition’ into all threads of Life & society & culture. I do believe it is healthy for young people to understand that in competition some people win and some people lose and that some people get trophies and not everyone gets one <although getting a trophy is not all there is to success & Life>.

I do believe it is healthy in youth to understand that some people are smarter than others, that some have skills you don’t have and that some people more easily learn some things than you do.

I do believe it is healthy for young people to learn how to compete and that competition can be healthy.

But at some point I think it would be good for society & culture to either turn that switch off or maybe learn how to turn on the dimmer switch because I think part of being an adult is knowing what you are good at and what you may not be good at and deciding for yourself <some would call that personal responsibility> how you want to achieve the best version of yourself.

I am not convinced that society, and business, creating some false versions of competition which almost encourages me to compete in some competition I really didn’t agree to, let alone really want to compete, is a good thing.

I tend to believe people like me think our competition is harsher and more challenging than any competition society can create for me and because of that I tend to want to dismiss outside competitions.

Yeah.

That choice is fraught with peril. Suffice it to say … just knowing that there is peril in not wanting to compete in some competition I didn’t even agree to is aggravating. But that is the world we currently live in. We are asked to compete against other flowers when all most of us want to do is bloom.

Seek and you will find may be one of the most misleading sayings of all time.

<I say this with apologies to Matthew who said in the bible … “ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened” … in other words .. God can always be found, but must be sought out>

Except for faith, seeking doesn’t guarantee you will find shit. That is not to say there isn’t beauty in the seeking. Seeking is actually like a free ticket on a rollercoaster ride of thoughts. Every day you step onto the rollercoaster where it is an entirely new ride with an entirely new thrill with new heights and ups, downs, overs and unders. Whether you consider this a thrill or not <or simply ‘angst’> you also encounter the thrill of losing, finding, uncovering, discovering as well as expectations met and unmet. Yet, I would like to note, 99.999% of the time you survive the rollercoaster and get up the next day and get on again.

Seeking, in and of itself, can be maddeningly exhilarating and disappointing.

I have always believed you should not only surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but you should also surround yourself with dreams and doing and believing and thinking. But, as a seeker myself, suffice it to say, I have screwed myself over many more times than anyone else ever has or will <if I were to judge myself on the ‘find’ aspect>. I try and find some solace in the discovery scientific research suggests that seeking something actually more often translates into not finding.

Holy shit.That sucks.

This means the more we search for something, the more likely we are to NOT find it. No wonder ‘seek and you shall find’ is a bullshit piece of advice. This actually means seeking, in some form or fashion, may stand in the way of our discovering the truth <ponder that for a second>.

Why could that be? Well. Seeking has some goal in mind. Seeking has something it wants to find. But maybe most importantly … seeking is more often than not rooted in some expectations. And these expectations create some tensions which inevitably hurt you <although they are mostly survivable>. Life typically creates several bars of expectations we all have to navigate as we seek not only answers but being the best version of ourselves.

There are societal expectations. These are most usually absurdly high expectations of which few actually attain. And even if attainable are not attainable on any consistent basis. Therefore, even if you do attain it most likely is a brief glimpse of ‘meeting some absurd expectation which makes me feel fucking great if but only for a moment or two.’

There are personal expectations. Surprisingly these are actually more realistic expectations. Most of us know who and what we are and, in general, know what we are capable of. We set some expectations which are ‘high’ <because we all like to reach and grow and be better tomorrow than we are today> but they are not as absurdly high as the societal expectations. The good news? We attain these on occasion. And we feel pretty good about it <assuming we ignore the absurd societal expectations … and people permit us to ignore the societal expectations>.

There are, well, reality expectations. Reality is reality. Reality ignores what you wish and what you want and simply says “in this time & place this is what is attainable.” Basically reality doesn’t give a shit about what you want or how you set your expectations or even acknowledges any society bullshit … it just is what it is.

By the way we far too often ignore this last one.

Regardless. Expectations are a real sonuvabitch. But if you agree with what I just wrote they are a multi dimensional sonuvabitch. Trying to align these three things in your head is really difficult. Your brain ends up in a weird three way tug of war where truly the only thing that happens is it hurts.

Look.

I am a seeker. I seek information and knowledge and learning in an insatiable quest for more. And maybe because my greater expectation resides solely in ‘more’ I really am not hurt that often in any expectation game. What I mean by that is ‘see and you shall find’ implies … well … some destination … some specific ‘thing to be found.’ With ‘more’ as my destination … well … I have no specific destination.

Aw, shit, what a bunch of philosophical mumbo jumbo bullshit that looks like when I reread it.

Let’s just say expectations are a sonuvabitch. Period. Expectations most likely create more personal pain & angst than anything I can think of off the type of my head. That said. Expectations, most often, are survivable.

Aw shit, what do I know?

Well. Probably not much more tan what I have shared. But I would suggest that in the end your soul, the essence of your character and who and what you are, has the ability to see the subtle beautiful triumphs over expectations that the eyes often miss. So maybe close your eyes on occasion … maybe then you will see how what you simply saw as ‘survive’ was actually a triumph over expectations.

I was tempted to call this “is this all there is?” … but instead decided on talking about being noble and finding what Sir Richard suggests is a future Life a nobler version of our own. I call it ‘a nobler version of I.”

I think anyone my age, of my generation, having either grinded out the day to day work life … or even loved every minute of the 2,800 work hour years invested <that last was me> … has stood back one day and said “is this all there is?” I would suggest in that little question we are actually questioning the bigger question — whether we are living a noble life <or ‘is there a nobler version of I?’>.

Now.

I love working. I am probably a borderline workaholic. It kills me a little each day I am not working. I have had two of my closer friends say in different words that my work defines me.

I cannot argue. And, frankly, I don’t want to. But that’s not the point <although it will contribute to my point>.

A significant amount of people in my generation are ‘dropping out of the rat race’ and shifting to ‘doing something that matters’ <let’s call it ‘doing something nobler’ for the sake of this post>. They are doing so like it is a light switch moment in Life.

Off with ambition and ‘work.’ On with noble and ‘purpose.’

Watching closely, younger people see what is happening, hear our words, and are questioning whether the work world my generation created isn’t lacking something or that there is something wrong with ‘this rat race they built.’ Therefore they are coming out of the blocks into the working world looking for careers ‘doing something that matters.’Seeking to make some grand gesture or higher purpose investment of time & effort.

Well.

With all due respect to my generation <and hopefully young people listen and follow along> I think we are making a mistake. In my pea like brain I think this whole discussion of ‘purpose driven business’ or even ‘business with a conscious’ is kind of wacky. Ok. Maybe not wacky, because it has great intentions, but misguided. It is so, well, grand. I tend to believe we would be better off focusing on the gestures.

Teaching that work can be done with purpose … not TO a purpose.

Teaching that purpose doesn’t have to be grand … but rather working with purpose is noble in and of itself.

Inevitably it seems to me that we would be better served if we simply taught people <and encouraged people> to be the noblest version of themselves regardless of what they did in the working world and who they worked for.

Yes. We all want the ‘grand gesture.’ But. Maybe, instead, we should be seeking the ‘noble nudges.’

That said.

Living this way is something I call being a tugboat in Life. You nudge the ships around you keeping everyone and everything on course. Therefore being a ‘nobler version of I” can actually be found in nudging. This means Purpose can be found in everyday actions. The largest benefit? You can be noble all the time. Even noble throughout what some people may call ‘the grind.’ In fact … I could argue that this is the noblest of noble living.

Nudging at exactly the right time … at the right moment <because, let’s face it, some moments are more important than others> and you can steer someone back on course.

You can be noble upwards <to someone who is managing you>. You can be noble downwards <to the ‘someones’ you manage>.

Noble is found in smallness. I learned early on in my career … working under the management of some spectacular managers <and spectacular people> that there were moments that if I could take one straw off their back, or even better, be aware enough to not put another straw on their back — it was a burden they could carry and make it to the next moment. My best team members did the same for me when I became manager.

There are moments in work life where you can make a difference in people’s lives.

How they think.

How they adapt.

How they cope.

How they carry a burden they may have assumed.

Even how they make a decision <that could steer them down one path or another>.

Therein lies nobility. Emerson suggested the most valuable thing was an active soul. He called this active soul one which unites and animates the farthest pinnacle and the lowest trench.

I am sure my soul dwells more often in the trench. But I am confident if I remain true to myself and remain true to being as noble as possible <and the noblest version of I> I know I can not only dwell in the trench and be okay … but get to see, and maybe visit, the pinnacle on occasion.

I imagine, metaphorically, in Life and in our work life we must explore the farthest pinnacles and lowest trenches. Day to day can often be ‘the trench.’ And the trench … even if you live it nobly … is relentlessly unforgiving:

“We judge ourselves by our best intentions and most noble acts but we will be judged by our last worst act.”

Michael Josephson

We do our best … and most often our best is pretty good … good intentions and most noble acts. Yet. Even with good intentions … we make mistakes or miss things. And get judged on ‘our worst acts.’ Maybe that is why work is, well, called work.

Work is called work <and not pleasure or leisure> because it is … well … work. Working, in and of itself, is not a purpose but HOW you actually conduct yourself as you work can be done with purpose. In fact. If you choose to do so, work can be done in a nobler fashion and with noble intent.

How was I able to work 2800 hours year after year? I imagine that without realizing it was because I embraced the nobler aspects, the nudges, of the everyday work. The belief that if I was aware enough I could measure up to scrutiny of nobility by doing the right things in the right moments. The moments that not only made good shit happen, but happen to make good people be the best they could be.

Is that not success?

Is that not living a life with purpose … or maybe better said … living life purposefully?

And isn’t this having a career with a purpose?

Having a successful career and making a difference doesn’t have to be made up of some grand gesture nor is it simply found in the company vision you work at. Success, and nobility, resides in HOW you do what you do — how you go about it and how ‘noble’ you are in your attitude & behavior.

—————————–

“How melancholy a thing is success. Whilst failure inspirits a man, attainment reads the sad prosy lesson that all our glories “Are shadows, not substantial things.” Truly said the sayer, “disappointment is the salt of life” a salutary bitter which strengthens the mind for fresh exertion, and gives a double value to the prize.”

Sir Richard Burton

—————————–

I worry my generation is disappointed with their careers and work life for the wrong reasons. We are melancholy with this thing we called success and profits and momeny and “things”. Maybe we are melancholy because our noble glory was to be found in nudges and not grand gestures and we forgot about the importance of the little things that make up HOW we do things.

Anyway.

A nobler version of I. I cannot think of many things better to be aspiring to — a nobler version of ourselves.

But maybe we should be teaching how it can be done in the everyday work Life rather than treating it as if it is a light switch Life decision.

In the end.

I will always seek to find a nobler version of I … in everything that I do. That said. I sleep well at night.