Brian and I had a little movie marathon recently. You see, Brian is the Salt Lake City Film Examiner for Examiner.com, and with his involvement in Pirates of Penzance (now thankfully over) he hadn't seen a new movie for a while. He's just starting, and with both of us off from work yesterday, I figured we should see some movies and get more reviews written.

Hot Tub Time MachineAVERAGE

The first one was Hot Tub Time Machine, a John Cusack comedy about a magical hot tub that takes a group of middle-aged losers back to 1986 where there lives were so much more awesome. And by awesome, I mean full of sex and drugs and crazy shenanigans... In my opinion, there stupidity in their teenage years is what led them to their less-than-fulfilling adulthood. Anyways, the movie is generally amusing overall, yet sometimes the jokes are more gross than funny. Oh, and I'm still trying to figure out what happened in Cincinnatti. They spend like 5 minutes freaking out because somebody mentioned it and they had sworn never to mention it... just to never bring it up again. Pointless. Oh, the girl who played Janice Ian from Mean Girls is in it, and she's totally awesome! She's seriously the only girl in it who isn't a hooker.

Clash of the TitansAVERAGE

Then we saw Clash of the Titans! This movie has that hot guy Sam Worthington from Avatar (a far greater movie than this one) only now he has working legs. The action was pretty cool, the story interesting enough, and for the most part I was impressed with the effects. One guy looked like he was wearing a plastic Halloween mask though, and the final battle scene was a little bit of a let down, but it was an enjoyable flick. I must say that I was confused a little at first, since the movie Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (originally a book based on the myth of Perseus) was all about young Percy being the son of Poseidon. He had all these powers that had to do with water. But then Clash explains that Perseus is the son of Zeus. I looked it up this morning, and it is Zeus. So I don't know what the heck Percy Jackson was smoking...probably the same stuff as the writers of Hot Tub.

The Last SongAVERAGE

So after a raunchy comedy and an epic adventure, we thought we should round ourselves out with a chick flick. So that's how Brian and I found ourselves sitting in The Last Song with Miley Cyrus. We were the only guys in a sea of women, by the way. The movie was what you'd expect from Nicholas Sparks. It was part cheesy romance, part sobbing drama. Or in other words, it's a Lifetime Original Movie. I actually didn't think it was that bad. I was expecting it to be far worse. Greg Kinnear does a lot to make the movie bearable and actually enjoyable, and the little boy that plays Miley's brother proved towards the end to have some acting chops. Miley was hit and miss for me. There were a few really good scenes where I was impressed with her, then she'd turn around and muck it up with some bad acting, and worse yet, bad facial expressions. I'm sorry, but most of the time I was distracted by her weird bottom lip and crooked tooth...
She's just so ugly. It reminded me of a line from Hot Tub Time Machine where one guy says, "Maybe we can prevent Miley Cyrus!" The other guy says, "Prevent her from what?" to which he replies, "You know, just prevent her."

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Who is Joaquin?

My real name is Jack. Joaquin the Chihuahua is sort of my blogging alter-ego. I'm just a goofy-looking guy in my (late) 20s, married to the man of my dreams, working at a jewelry store, and trying to find a job where I can use my English Degree. I hope you enjoy reading my blog. And if not, it's no skin off my nose. Go read something else then.

What's New with Joaquin?

I've completed my last semester at UVU! My BA in English should arrive in the mail any day and I couldn't be happier. I've also started an internship with Wallaroo Media in downtown Provo learning content writing and social media. I'm also trying to start up a queer literary journal in Utah called Peculiar with a friend.