For the 2013 regular season, SNR argues that rookie tackle Luke Joeckel will be responsible for allowing no fewer than 7.0 sacks, so long as he starts at least 14 games.

If he is responsible for 7.0 sacks or more during this timespan, Direckshun will have his username changed to SNR's Bitch, along with a new avatar and tagline, and work in various phrases about how cool SNR is into every one of his posts from the conclusion of Week 17 to Feb. 15th, along with transferring all his casino cash to SNR.

If Joeckel actually plays like a goddamn top rated tackle, however, and is responsible for fewer than 7.0 sacks during that timespan, SNR will have to tailor each one of his posts from Week 17 to Feb. 15th in a manner to be determined later by Direckshun, along with transferring all his casino cash to Direckshun.

(This bet can be reviewed as of April 25th if Luke Joeckel is drafted by any of the other 31 teams in the NFL, and can be modified on that date. It is also invalidated by Joeckel failing to start 14 games.)

I am sleepwalking through this one, folks.

I will take any and all suggestions for the style in which SNR should have to post.