Defender Picks

The Science of Success

“I believe in the law of correspondence — what happens on the inside is reflected on the outside,” the young woman with a commanding yet genial voice explained one late-April afternoon in New Orleans. “And despite what some might think, we have control over what goes on on the inside.” When Havilah Malone speaks, it is wise to listen. The media figure kindly shared her own story as well as some top tips for success with NoDef.

Her story is impressive: she transformed early childhood trauma into becoming a teen college graduate, a manager at a Fortune 500 company, and now a leading media entrepreneur. In between she found time to be a news reporter and TV personality, radio DJ, actress, author, and worldwide speaker — to name just a few of the hats she's worn in her life. Most recently, Malone co-authored an adaptation of Napoleon Hill’s iconic 1937 book Think and Grow Rich for the adolescent generation, titled The Amazing Adventures of Oliver Hill.

The international speaker and best-selling author possesses the same engaging presence as her former mentor, Tony Robbins. She first met Robbins a handful of years ago at one of his Unleash Your Power events, where he introduced her to the methodologies of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Though Malone might not believe her introduction to NLP was up to fate, it was in many ways a cosmic coincidence that she connected with Robbins that day. She had just shifted her career from managing at the $160 million tech company Hewlett Packard into her personal media and communications interests, and NLP — and Robbins himself — figured largely in her early personal development journey.

NLP, explained Malone, is “the science of getting results.” The method combines psychotherapy, communication, and personal development, drawing from examinations of successful people and their habits. The approach assists in reprogramming problematic thought patterns and encourages people to be mindful of their own role in the creation of their lives and experiences. “Who you are is not who you are — it is who you created,” according to Malone. NLP assists to create a new neural pathway to change the belief systems that a person clings to that are limiting or hurting their potential. “It’s a way of scratching the record so we can’t play that same song again,” Malone said by phone from her home in New Orleans.

Her role in Robbins’ circle led her to become a Master Certified Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. NLP helped Malone confront her early sexual trauma, an experience that she had long resisted dealing with. She realized, “life happens for you — and not to you.”

Malone started the non-profit organization Everybody Loves Barbie: Living Beyond the Box as a way to empower fellow survivors of molestation and abuse. The name was inspired by her own personal abuse experience and the way her unconscious mind processed the abuse in the aftermath. A doll collection which she cared for and curated for years, she realized, was an outside anchor to her experience. The dolls, pristine in their boxes, offered a sense of untouched purity that she could control, an innocence that she saw taken from herself in her youth. From her experience, she found a way to empower herself and others. Recently, she teamed up with fellow New Orleans native Taylor Moore to celebrate the launch of Moore’s initiative Peace of Strength, a sexual assault survivors network.

“Many people think they are victims of circumstance,” said Malone. “I want people to know how powerful we really are. There is nothing beyond our control of how we choose to experience our reality.”

In addition to her NLP work, Malone is the CEO of Proof of What’s Possible, Inc., offering personal empowerment seminars, business development events, and customized consulting for people around the globe. Malone also authored the best-selling book How to Become a Publicity Magnet, a guide to personal and professional development.

The Amazing Adventures of Oliver Hill, her recent project co-authored with Diane Lampe, was designed to be a starting point for youth leadership and empowerment. The book shares the 17 principles of success from Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich in short story format, introducing children to the invaluable lessons of building confidence, problem solving skills, emotional and mental understanding and control, as well as personal development and success. The book aims to provide these principles for adults as a child’s foundation.

Malone has participated in a nationwide book tour to schools and malls, meeting with children and their families. The response, she said, has been overwhelming. Several schools across the country are developing curriculum to bring The Amazing Adventures of Oliver Hill into the classroom. The next step for the team will be to partner with a research university for a 10-year study to examine the effects of the success principles on elementary school children.

The key for children and adults alike, according to Malone, is accepting that each person has the ability to control their outcome. In this present political and social climate, Malone offered, “we realize that the fairy tale won’t be in play. People have to assist in their own rescue.”

It takes tremendous work — and at times, difficult and ugly work — to begin to rebuild thoughts and the reinforced habits in life. But the rewards are plentiful. “We need to have big dreams, big scary goals that we’re afraid of — always,” exclaimed Malone. “When we become used to rejection and failure, we settle. We give up. And I cannot think of anything scarier than that.”