the sunny path

debris

The word of the day is humility, and I've been taking time to reflect on the process we go through to cultivate it within our hearts.

Humility is a simple virtue, yet it doesn't come easy for some people—people like me. I seem to have a gift for doing things that force me to be humbled to the dust. I feel the pinch of its learning curve as we speak. I want more than anything to treat others well, to be considerate and kind, and humble, yet every once in awhile I slip up and make a royal mess of things. And royal messes humble me. In these cases, I must be at the mercy of whom I have offended, and that's a hard thing, waiting to see if you will be truly forgiven or if all is lost.

Right now, I feel caught in the shadows with thinking about what has gone wrong and what I should have done to have done what is right or best—wading through the debris that was left in my wake. My heart hurts because of my inconsideration. Knowing that the pain you feel is from your own hand is a torturous affair. To get into a positive place after mistakes are made, we can create paths out of debris, and sometimes it all needs to get cleared away to see the good again. And it all takes time and a whole lot of care.

Something I know for sure is that I want to have enough humility to see what I should change about myself in order to be more like I want to be. One of these days I won't be so lacking in judgment and will overcome my propensity to spoil good things. Despite myself, I will find my way to the sunny path that lay ahead.