Ringer: Your move

I'm secretly evil but you'll never see it coming because I'm hypnotizing you with my eyes. (The CW)

The investigation into Gemma’s disappearance is heating up now that the police have a viable suspect. Baze, Bridget, and Andrew are all called in for questioning. Before she takes the familiar ride downtown, Bridget excuses herself to “get her purse.” This is code for ‘placing a call to Malcolm on the loft killer’s untraceable phone that she has stashed in a bootie in her massive closet.’ “I think I really messed up this time.” Ya think? She does not take the opportunity to change clothes, and spends the better part of the episode wearing a pleather halter top. At the station, Andrew and Baze are both shown a mugshot and asked to identify the woman. Their answer: “Bridget Kelly.” Wait. What? At some point after she planted her own fingerprints on the evidence, Bridget told both men the ‘truth’, anticipating that they would be questioned by the police. Maybe she’s better at this than I thought. Andrew in particular is wounded that she kept the truth from him for so long. Blah blah consequences cleaning up messes a part of my life that was over blah. Bridget has a second card that she plays with Batmanuel. A voicemail actually. A message from ‘Bridget’ telling ‘Siobhan’ that she “really messed up this time” and is leaving New York for Europe. Bridget further helpfuls that she tried to call the number back but its blocked. Well played. The agent notes that the call coincided with NYPD’s morning visit. He thinks it’s simply more evidence that ‘Siobhan’ is conspiring with her sister. It’s all very convenient – lover’s wife out of the picture, trouble maker sister on the run … He’s closer to the mark than he knows. Bridget announces that the interview is over, but before she goes there’s one more thing. On the off chance that ‘Bridget’ calls again, tell her that Malcolm Ward is missing and is most likely in a shallow grave somewhere in the badlands of Wyoming. Have a nice day.

With the police actively chasing after the wrong person, Bridget turns to Billy Abbott for help in finding Gemma. He was a cop. Maybe he can talk to a friend in the precinct or take a look at the evidence. He laughs in her face, as one would, but he eventually caves. He won’t say he’ll help her, but he will give her an “I’ll see what I can do.” He makes good and suggests that if they knew where Gemma’s car was it could give them the break they need. Bridget suggests he look at JFK in long term parking. You know what I’ve decided that I love about actor Billy Miller, other than the fact that he’s absurdly handsome and I can’t stop staring at him when he’s onscreen? He’s possibly the only person on this show who seems like he’s having any fun. He plays Charlie loose and flirty but also very focused and he has a really nice chemistry with SMG. Moar of this please!

Bridget and Andrew have another tedious heart to heart about their relationship and lies and secrets and the truth making you vulnerable blah. Andrew reveals that he wasn’t happy about her pregnancy at first, but now he sees it as a blessing. “This baby means everything to me. I just don’t want anything to go wrong ever again between us.” Oh, Andrew. Later in the episode, when you take Juliet’s trust fund away from her? You’re gonna want to earmark that money for therapy and alcohol. Moving on. Andrew and Bridget kiss and the sexy times seem inevitable until that guy from Veronica Mars calls to tell Andrew that Juliet has been in a car accident. RUINER! JULIET IS THE RUINER!

With Andrew occupied by his awful, pointless daughter, Bridget goes to Gemma’s big gallery opening on her own. She and Baze have their own tedious heart to heart in which he realizes too late that he loves his wife and should have tried harder. Bridget puts him in a cab, and as she turns to walk back into the party she spots Malcolm in the crowd. She promptly passes out. It’s not a stress induced hallucination though, unless Andrew can see him too. Since no one else seemed concerned with finding him, Malcolm rescued himself. He escaped from Bodaway’s thugs and magically transmogrified himself to New York. Andrew thanks him for helping his wife before going to check on Bridget. She has a mild concussion, but she nearly strokes out when the nurses wheel the ultrasound machine into the room. They just want to check on the health of the baby that she’s not carrying. My prediction – Bridget is totes pregnant with Malcolm’s baby.

At JFK, a hooded figure walks up to Gemma’s SUV and jimmies the lock. He pops the rear hatch, and scans the back with a flashlight. He finds a blood spatter on the frame by the latch. Billy looks around and makes a call – to Siobhan in Paris. BAM!! CALLED IT!! I TOTES CALLED IT!! The blood is his. Gemma hit him the night he attacked her. He reassures Siobhan that everyone still thinks Bridget is her. Gemma never had a chance to tell anyone.

“Call me with the next move.”

To quote the FugGirls, “You might be whiffing the uniforms but even the East German judge is giving your landings a perfect ten.”