Lets not lie. We live in a generation where everyone looks amazing, everyone’s got ass, everyone’s eyebrows are on fleek. I’ve seen teenagers on Instagram look like they stepped straight off of a magazine. The Kardashians are what young girls deem as beautiful and aspire to look like, unaware that the girl in the magazine doesn’t even look like the girl in the magazine. I remember when I was in high school, we all had an ugly phase, it was the norm, but these days its like were obsessed with perfection. I really feel for our future daughters growing up in a world where they teach us to hide our flaws under make up and filters. Don’t get me wrong, I get carried away with my self image too, but on reflection I realize that I don’t have to be beautiful like her I can be beautiful like me.

Being a ‘curvy’ girl I find that the definition of a ‘curvy’ girl isn’t even a true representation of a woman with curves anymore. That ridiculously flat stomach, huge ass and perky boobs, the ‘perfect’ figure eight, is now the ‘in’ thing, but in reality our boobs don’t sit up right, we have cellulite and our stomachs ain’t washboards. Well some of you do have it good and look like that naturally (one day lawddd), but most of us have some flaws. I prefer to call them perfect imperfections.

I just wish as women we would love ourselves more and own whatever it is we are and work on what we are not happy with rather than running to the doctors surgery to look like just another clone. We don’t owe it to men, or anybody, to fit society’s definition of beautiful or sexy. I am not my ideal weight, I have stretch marks, I need to tone up, but I work with what I have! Slim, thick, tall, short, black white, whatever you look like, confidence will make you look and feel 100 times better. Insecurities are LOUD.

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with getting things done, I just don’t think it should be the first step. Think about it, why do women go and get their asses done? In the 80s/90s, were women getting ass implants? No. Why? Because it wasn’t cool to have a fat ass, the stick thin Kate moss type was the in thing. So now that its what the media, society, social media glorify, now women want it, so straight away you’re not doing it for yourself, you are doing it either for attention, or acceptance. Or both.

The scariest thing about ‘fixing’ yourself on the outside is that it never really fixes you on the inside. I guarantee if we spent time finding ourselves and healing ourselves from within FIRST we wouldn’t be so quick to want to change our appearance because we would understand that life is so much deeper than that. Lets face it, we are never happy. There is always something we will want to change about ourselves, but the older I get the more the term ‘less is more’ resonates with me.

Be yourself, own your individuality, love yourself. Do what makes you happy but don’t forget to look after the inside as well as the outside. Be confident and don’t forget that you don’t have to be beautiful like her, you can be beautiful like you.