I am SO not into tabloidy stuff but this recent article in the South African Sowetan caught my attention… there was something instructive about it [in a subliminal kind way]! Especially since it pertained us girls…Black girls that is.

So off the bat, I am not here to talk about one of South Africa’s top socialites, KHANYI MBAU or her nemesis at this point, PRIMROSE CROUS. I do remember though, during my vacay back home, driving past Khanyi Mbau in her infamous drop-top Yellow Lamborghini, hair/weave blowing in the wind, on my way to Sandton [don’t ask, I just know people, who know people]…anyway I digress!

But we are so not here to talk about the scandal as reported in the Sowetan!

So not! *rolling my eyes* Coz never mind the black Lamborghini which Theunis bought Khanyi last year complete with personalised number plates but later took back when his wife, Primrose found out about their “romantic liaison”! Only to replace the Lamborghini with a BMW Z4 a few months ago! Or the R10,000 rent payments made for Khanyi’s upmarket crib in Hyde Park.

I do not condone adultery. It is not cool and most importantly, for me & my beliefs, the Bible outlaws it. However, they are adults & I am pretty confident that they can handle this matter…civilly & privately.

What I did find fascinating was that according to the Sowetan, Theunis Crous, a 51 year old White South African who owns a Walmer-based Ho Hup Construction Company with his wife, Primrose, said for him and his white friends [presumably in South Africa], dating Black women was a status symbol.

â€œWhen you are my age, dating a black young woman like Khanyi is a thrill. When we were growing up, having an affair with a black girl was forbidden. We loved them but we could not date them.â€

Very insightful statement especially in post apartheid South Africa. As you know, race relations in South Africa are so complex and deeply rooted given the country’s checkered racial history. However space & time does not permit a revisit of South Africa’s history.

I did want to deconstruct the statement “dating Black women was a status symbol” in order to allow for an environment conducive enough for us to discuss the matter of race & dating in new South Africa. I wanted to delve deeper to ascertain what that meant for Black girls on the continent & in the diaspora, if at all!

Certainly, if that’s the case then this broadens the dating pool for both Black’s & White’s in South Africa. At least for those that date outside of their race.

However, I am not entirely comfortable with the “status symbol” aspect of Theunis’ contention on us Black girls. Far be it from me to deny Theunis or for that matter, any White South African male their “primordial impulses” that drive their selection of their women. But just race as a status symbol? Seriously? That’s almost like a repackaging of the old formula. What happened to attributes such as values, belief systems, those intangibles that transcend race. Again, I am well aware that men are visual, so I am not saying ignore completely the physical!

While it is fun to know that Black girls are the new Black! Yayee, but what does that really mean for us? I really have no problems with interracial dating, been there, done that myself.Â However, there has to be more…for both sides. Otherwise, both sides are settling, one for race & the other for being a status symbol [and that gets boring after a while. Trust!]. And when the love boat is rocked, then a scandal of the above proportion erupts! Not pretty, especially if hearts & children are involved.

If this means that the dating dating scene has been reduced to a mere “status symbol”, then I am pretty sure, alot of us Black girls are not with that type of swagger! Rich White guy or not [I can just hear my BFF saying to me, Fa show me a millionaire & I will show you one happy chic *side eyes* to her!]

The swagger that I believe in, at least in terms of race & dating, goes beyond “dating Black women as a status symbol”. It is the type of swagger that affirms beyond your race, that you are beautiful, intelligent and wonderful and that you are worth fighting for [note that Primrose]. That you are worth more than being just a jumpoff [note that Khanyi]! That you look for a woman beyond her race as a “status symbol” and in marriage, you commit to her “til death do we part” [note that Theunis]

IDOLMAKERS I AGREE WITH YOU 100%. HONESTLY LOVE HAS NO COLOUR. I AM A BLACK LADY DATING AN AFRIKANER. HE IS SO SWEET. HE ALWAYS BRINGS ME SOMETHING WHEN HE GOES OVERSEAS. HE SENDS ME EMAILS, TELLING ME THAT I AM A BLESSING. HE ALWAYS THANKS ME FOR TAKING CARE OF HIM, ACTUALLY HE IS THE ONE WHO IS TAKING CARE OF ME.

WHEN GOD CREATED US, HE ALSO CREATED OUR PARTNERS. IT COULD BE A BLACK, CHINESE, INDIAN, WHITE PERSON ETC. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH AN AFRIKANER, WELL IT HAPPENED.

khanyi is a representation of what people want and that lil mlungu man knerw exactly what he was doin when he got with her but if we gonna look at the statement of power in thewse relationships we have to understanfd that khanyi was only playing the roile we have given her as onlookers and im also not condonning what she did but i cvan understand were her morals might have come fropm if u r gonna be victimised and treated like pure arm candy make sure u reap the benefits.

Onismuskk

lol kenbazzy..lmaso…u made me laugh

Nm

Zee Congratulations. True love has no colour

Ms Mbau is a child, she will change as time goes on after all beauty for someone who behaves like her does not last long.

thaguy

I think both Khanyi and this other chick are ugly, though I wouldnt mind having a one night stand with them, not for marraige

I really hope the writer of this article didn’t receive compensation for his/her effort because the foundation it’s based on is about as solid as a mudslide. Please show me where in this quote from Theunis the words “status symbol” are mentioned:

â€œWhen you are my age, dating a black young woman like Khanyi is a thrill. When we were growing up, having an affair with a black girl was forbidden. We loved them but we could not date them.â€

ZINHLE

KHANYI MBAU IS NOT THAT SPECIAL SO PLEASE MAKING HER AN ANGEL

http://twitter.com/BongekaTsekiso Bongeka Tsekiso

Loved this article! The interracial dating thing is a dilemma in itself (been through it and had ENDLESS complexes during its duration), never mind now having such sticky situations as infidelity now thrown into it all – shux, a married couple with children to top it all off. For some reason though, I feel the women involved need to be strong and wise enough to make more sound and amiable decisions. It’s disappointing to watch, but ke…we can only really learn from such. As much as we’d all prefer that the race issue not find its way into every topic under the sun, truth is, it does. Best we can do as women is wisen up. We gotta do better.

Crux Nova

I love khanyi to bits and pieces,she should just get back into the game hardcore and fierce!!!!!!!!!!!!

Benji

Â I love you khanyi the most thing i love about you mbau is you are living your life
and you HOT my husband knows that you are my role model wish we can meet

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_FZHH63O43NNGKXFGA4NNQ6I3CI Piet Skiet

Would love to ride both of them,,!

Nonkululekopurity

uhot khanyi bt u should go n spend tym wit ur bby grl lyk primrose

Maroro

mxm khanyi sisi get a life vha and stop being a man stealer get your own

Lame

yeah bby hahahahaha

Disgusted

Sounds like you are the racist C*nt not the white man dating a black woman. Recessive genes? WTF have you ever achieved? Go F yourself as I’m sure not even a black person would sleep with the likes of you little piggy……