New Age Kooks For Human-Alien Sex Babies, And Why This Isn’t New

For reasons that somewhat escape me, there’s a trending story going around about a movement of (mostly) women who not only claim to have been abducted by aliens and made to have sex with them, but also claim that they really really liked it.

Ok, maybe the reason doesn’t escape me anymore.

It’s not just about hot human-alien sex, though! These people claim that they actually had kids with these aliens. The kids are human-alien hybrids, and they’re part of a massive genetic breeding program the aliens have set up. According to their website (http://hybridchildrencommunity.com/) these human-alien love children are “currently residing in another dimension”, but will soon be brought to Earth when the aliens choose to reveal themselves.

It’s all hilariously crazy, and part of what has made the story trend is that a few of the women involved in this “movement” are relatively hot looking new-age yoga-babes or something like that.

This is Bridget Nielsen, who is apparently one of the big movers and shakers in all this:

So, what’s the real deal with all this?

Here’s what you need to know first: By the 1970s, the UFO movement got heavily intertwined with the New Age movement. While before that it had mostly been about pseudo-science and sci-fi fearmongering, the hippies loved the idea of “spacemen”. And instead of thinking of them as dangerous and threatening cold-war-paranoia menaces to humanity, the hippies wanted to imagine that space-aliens were actually wise guru-types who were going to guide us to a golden age of peace and love.

There were a bunch of reasons for this: the novel “Stranger in a Strange Land” was a huge hippie hit, and it was all about a Martian who comes to Earth to start a new-age religion. Earlier new age movements like the Theosophists already loved to claim they were getting teachings from “disincarnate masters” from other dimensions. But mostly, it was because aliens were trippy. That’s why you had songs about aliens from bands like the Byrds (“Mr.Spaceman”), the Carpenters (“Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft”), and of course David Bowie made a whole album about it.

By the 1980s, alien abduction stories went from being about terrifying experiences of violent experimentation to being about scary but ultimately wonderful spiritually transformative experiences. And around this time you start seeing some of the ‘abductees’ claiming that they had alien babies.

In another sense, this goes back WAY further, though. Historians and psychologists have both pointed out the similarities between 20th/21st century Alien Abduction stories and the stories from the middle-ages about being abducted by “elves”.

Medieval elves had similar features to those of modern ‘aliens’ from abduction stories. Some of them (faeries) were legolas-style pale-skinned aristocratic beauties; while others were small large-headed creatures with huge eyes. Some of them had slightly reptilian features too.

It’s not surprising that the three most common ‘aliens’ from abduction stories are the goblin-like “greys”, vaguely reptilian aliens, and aliens that look a lot like Orlando Bloom.

And, get this, medieval elven abduction stories ALSO featured the Elves/aliens having sex with humans, and making half-elven babies, called “changelings”. These babies were weird, sickly, and sometimes evil. Sometimes these stories featured normal human babies being stolen and replaced with the elf babies.

And this is where the modern “Hybrid Children Movement” gets kind of gross. Not like half-human babies gross, but like ‘taking advantage of vulnerable people’ gross. People like Nielsen and her group claim to get ‘psychic’ information from these aliens in Channeling sessions, and for the low low price of $65, they will have a phone session with you where they will tell you all about your alien baby. How do they know you have one to begin with? Because according to the new-age bullcrap law of synchronicity, if you find out about them it’s only because the ‘law of attraction’ brought you there, because you must have already been kidnapped and sexed-up by ETs! How convenient.

For an extra $22, they’ll even give you a crappy digital painting of your half-alien kid. Nielsen says on her website that she won’t do the paintings herself because she doesn’t have time, but she’ll outsource this to someone from her ‘team’.

Yes, like most of the New-Age movement, there’s tons of money to be made from all this being “spiritual”. It doesn’t matter that it’s at the cost of gullible or vulnerable people, desperate to believe that they’ve been specially chosen and that there’s some half-alien baby out there somewhere that loves them. The “parent testimonials” from satisfied customers features people talking about how they were “always the weird kid growing up” (how fitting to get to have a weird alien baby) or how wonderful the feeling of “unconditional love” is from their alien husband, or how their alien children “guide and support” them.

I’m not saying the “hybrid children” psychics are intentional frauds. They might be, but they might also be true believers that are nevertheless fine with the idea of making a career out of their ‘gifts’. But fundamentally, if for whatever reason you’re at a place in your life where you desperately need to believe that you have an alien boyfriend and half-alien babies out there who love you unconditionally, probably the worst possible thing that could happen to you is to have a whole ‘movement’ of people reinforcing that for you, instead of helping you to find happiness and fulfillment here on planet Earth.

For more fun with history, religion, gaming, and politics, follow Urbanski on Twitter @KasimirUrbanski

October 4, 2016

CrazyPeopleNew Age Kooks For Human-Alien Sex Babies, And Why This Isn’t New