Smash Theory: Urban Legends

Growing up, I spent hours and hours trying to get “Pikablu” in Pokemon Red. The legend was that you could somehow battle a wild Marill, whom unfortunately had no known name in North America at the time – thus “Pikablu” was born. It involved a bizarre process in which I needed a Charizard that knew Strength, surfing, and using Strength on a truck before the S.S. Anne left Vermillion City. This absurd and complicated series of actions ended up being completely pointless, but moving the truck was a widespread urban legend that ultimately yielded nothing. What does all of this have to do with Smash Bros.?

Enter FalcoMaster3000. An “in-joke” made by professional player & Twitch Project Manager Scar, during commentary at a tournament called CEO, regarding the potential skill of Falco and/or Fox players. FalcoMaster is everybody and yet he is nobody. The joke is in reference to how once in a while you end up playing against a Falco player in a tournament that just destroys you. It can’t be helped. Some brilliant soul decided to make this joke a reality. He donned a ski mask, sun glasses, and nondescript clothing while competing in a Melee tournament based in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. The man didn’t eat, speak, or give any indication of who he was. While hiding his true identity from both the players present, and subsequently the world, the legend of FalcoMaster3000 began as he crushed every opponent in his way. The video below has all of the details (NSFW for cursing).

Whether this story is fabricated or not doesn’t matter. The community has been smitten with FalcoMaster3000, unlike the reaction they had to Karissa the Destroyer – a prank pulled by Gamestop that involved a 10-year-old girl appearing to best opponents while it was professional player Liquid’KDJ in actuality. Many people in the Smash community wanted to believe that Karissa was going to be the future of Smash but were let down when they found out it was merely a prank. Iconic Smash commentary-master D1 received a lot of undeserved flak for participating in the event; people felt betrayed by him despite the fact that he was obligated to keep the whole thing a secret until the prank aired on the internet.

A new urban legend has been born and it’s a breath of fresh air. FalcoMaster3000 is a boon to the Smash community. Within a couple of short days, theories began to fly around as to the identity of FalcoMaster3000. Some people believe he’s an unknown player completely, while others believe that he’s a pro player who happened to be in Edmonton and wanted to check out their scene. Personally I’m partial to the theory that he’s the son of two-time EVO champion Mango, who travelled back in time to save competitive Melee from a horrible fate. This would be what is known as 20XX, a dystopian future in which Fox and Falco are the only viable characters in tournament play. A fate that I fear is all too inevitable.