A humorous view of politics, religion, human behavior, and insights toward everyday happenings by a single guy living in downtown Chicago.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Bus

Now that I’m a commuter to work, I have the pleasure of
riding the bus with lots of other commuters every day.

Fortunately, my commute on the bus only takes about fifteen
minutes longer than it used to take when I’d walk to work. However, the drawback
is, it’s a bus packed with commuters; and I mean packed. “Packed in like
sardines” doesn’t quite describe it. “Packed in like sardines inside a case of
cans of sardines” is more like it.

These buses handle lots of commuters, so the transit
authority uses the double-long, articulated buses that snake around corners.
The bus stop where I get on usually has a large crowd of people waiting. After
all, there are two condo buildings nearby, each with 640 condos.

I’ve learned that if I walk a couple of blocks up the street
to get on, I can usually get a seat. Then, when the bus snakes down to stop in
front of my building, I’m comfortably sitting there while everyone else
sardines themselves in. The bus makes a few more stops, cramming in more and
more passengers each time, before hopping onto Lake Shore Drive for the express
shot into downtown.

Fortunately, I get off at the first stop once the bus gets
into downtown. By this time, the carbon-based life forms on board have been
compressed enough that they’ve begun to turn into diamonds. I’ve learned to opt
for a seat near the rear exit so that I can efficiently squiggle my way out
when the time comes.

Recent advances in global positioning technology have made
bus riding much easier. There’s an app that lets you see when your bus is
coming. Or, you can look online at the “bus tracker” website, see when your bus
is two minutes away and then leap out to hop on. It comes in handy when it’s a
grillion degrees below zero outside.

Now that I’m a daily bus rider, I’ve learned some clever
terms:

Bus-Bunching: Buses get off schedule and two or three end up
glommed one behind the other. It’s really frustrating to wait and wait for a
bus only to see three of them pull up at one time.

Bus Drive-By: A bus gets so full that no more passengers can
squeeze themselves in. At that point, the driver doesn’t stop at any bus stops.
The bus whizzes by while awaiting passengers stand there with their mouths
agape. Bus-bunching ensues.

I’ve already been the victim of a bus drive-by. It’s really
frustrating.