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How many people have you had sex with? We all want to know, but no one wants to ask the question. Why? Because it’s nobody’s business? That reason may fly for people who still count on one hand, but for those who are on two hands both feet or more are not trying to count those old screws in the bag. I always wondered why people shied away from discussing their past sex partners? I’m aware that the stigma of multiple partners’ limits intimacy to an act of lust without conscience, but I question what are we shying away from; the amount of partners or the quality of the sex?

Let’s begin by reminding ourselves of societies’ double standard perception of male and female sex relations. Men with many women are adored while women with many men are seen as whores. With these rules of society, women have lost the morals game before entering the gate. I would have loved to only have had one sex partner, but the chosen one didn’t have my orgasm in his best interest. Instead, I chose to wallow in sexual exploration and enjoy the men and their movement.

Sex relationships were welcomed during the 60’s and 70’s and were fueled by the belief of loving others to build a world of peace. The Sexual Revolution was brought to us via television, music and movies demonstrating how great it is to make love and not war. Those images of promiscuity represented freedom of expression; to love self is to love others. The fantasies depicted on screen and heard in lyrics were in fact a reality; the love was sexual intercourse and the peace was multiple orgasms. To date shows such as Sex and the City continue to bring these images to light by displaying lives of single women who work and are dating in a major city exploring many men with various qualities until they find the one they match. Although their characters have been viewed as promiscuous they reassure women’s feelings of sexual freedom and even with morals intact, women can explore their sexuality with whomever they see fit. Sadly society leads women to feel guilty about challenging their sexual nature and then blames them for lacking the “techniques” needed to keep a man satisfied in the bedroom.

Men with long list of bed partners are viewed as more experienced or intriguing while a man who says he’s only slept with two or three women are automatically dismissed as soft, inexperienced or a chump who wouldn’t know one hole from the other. But who says that he with many can blow your back out. For example, how many extremely attractive men do you know and may have slept with and you were either disappointed or expected more after it was over. We are attracted by what we see first; face, body, smile, swagger and automatically label people as prospects because we assume they’ve been around the block a few times and can take you on a ride to the sky. Sadly the only things you take away from these encounters are the memories of beautiful sex faces and a sore body from her scratches or from his pounding on you. On the flip side, he, or she, who has little gives more. Patience, sensuality, gentleness are the things the latter brings to the table. Which would you prefer? Sincere or Buns?

When you have a lover you can’t help but to think of who came before you. It’s inevitable. Regardless to what men say, they do not want to know how many partners their lady has been with, but they will enjoy the perks that come with the unknown. This is a symptom of the Madonna-Whore syndrome: freak in the sheets; lady in the streets. Men will avoid asking where she got it from because they already believe she’s been around the block one too many times and her answer may confirm his theory. What’s interesting is most “freaks” are usually more creative because they too want to be better than the girl before her. That’s human nature, being better than the next; survival of the fittest. Instead enjoy the moment and focus on the climax because that’s really what it boils down to.

We all want to turn someone on to things no one else can give them but us. Take a little bit from the past and give it to the present; hence present. My gift may be great head and his may be the ability to hold his cum until I’ve climaxed. I think it’s alright to have multiple partners as long as you enjoy the experience and it’s consensual. Just remember the past no longer share the bed with you.