Selene (Kate Beckinsale) wakes up from a cryogenic 12 year nap to face a new enemy; pesky humans. They are now aware of the existence of Vamps and Lycans and have pretty much wiped them all out. So our girl goes out into the world to find her first and only love Michael and in the process gets tangled up in all kinds of shite! Slap them clips in and lock and load. She's back and ready to whoop that ass!

THE LOWDOWN

Selene returns to UNDERWORLD and I am freaking happy! Yup, am a fan of the franchise and I kinda missed it. In my bubble it's hard to go wrong with a heart-shaped assed hottie, in a skin tight black outfit that looks like Kate Beckinsale, blowing werewolves (get your mind out of the gutter yo) away with varied weaponry. Now I loved Part 1 and Part 2 (the latter being my favorite of the franchise thus far) and part 3 was kind of meh to me (No Selene and set in the olden days... ummm... that's not the Underworld I'm looking for). So I was in a tizzy to learn that not only would UNDERWORLD AWAKENING bring back my beloved spandex abusing heroine but it would also be a sequel to Part 2, hence set in more current times (I think this one took place in the future, beyond 2012, not 100% sure). So how did this fangs, guns, hairballs and butt shots party pan out? Good! It was hollow, sexy and gory dumb fun! Easiest way I can put it.

I think (that's rare) that your enjoyment of UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING will depend on what you expect from it. Personally, it gave me what I craved. The acting was decent enough ( Kate Beckinsale WAS the movie and she did wonders with the role, as usual and I warmed up to India Eisley too) and I got countless engaging, kinetically shot and well choreographed actions scenes to chew on! Am talking hand to hand stuff, zany gunfights, slicing and dicing mayhem, eye popping stunts, an intense car chase, some kabooms and enough Selene versus Lycans shenanigans to carve a smile on my simpleton face. Moreover "wow" money shots were in the house, thanks to directors Mans Marlind and Bjorn Steindoing who did their best Len Wiseman impression. When them dudes were on, they were on fire! When they weren't; think TV Movie of the week. I particularly dug the “slide under the table guns blazing” bit and the “slow motion walk amidst floating debris of silver” sequence (pretty much the only time the 3D impressed me). Groovy stuff! What about the monsters and gore you may ask? Got them in spades! This installment was mucho red-wet, yeah all CG, but it still resulted in fun times in the land of splat! As for the creatures; I loved it when India Eisley wolfed/vamped out, reminded of Reagan in The Exorcist for some reason. Well done and kind of creepy looking! And although the werewolves designs and CG execution weren't as bang on as in Part 1 and 2 (Did they have less coin for this one?); they still got the job mother-F-ing done! PS: Wait till you see that GIANT Lycan go buck nuts...NICE!

On the stale side of the fangs; the story here never really went further than the initial premise status; meaning there was lots of good ideas but they didn't go beyond scratching the surface. Kind of blows the grey matter that it took four different screenwriters to jolt this movie down. The same went for the characters and their relationships; Slim-Jim if ya ask me. Now don't get me wrong, this is UNDERWORLD we're talking about, not Shakespeare's Hamlet, but still, even for an Underworld movie, it felt a tad undercooked in the meat department. If they're not careful, the franchise may drop down to Resident Evil duh IQ level. And was I alone in thinking that the middle section lagged a bit? That cut-away cop on the case subplot (which eventually tied into the last act in a “how did that happen” way) didn’t help in that matter. Felt like padding to me. Lastly, I missed Michael as played by Scott Speedman. The character is in here (tackled by a look-a-like) but his involvement in the story was too minimal to satisfy. I mean after everything I went through with him and Selene in the first two films, this is what I get?! Come on man! I'm hoping that Michael has a larger role in the next sequel and that Speedman returns to the part. I got flashbacks of how they killed Newt and Hicks in Alien 3 after the ordeal we went through in Aliens i.e. a tad cheated.

NOTE: The flick was shot in 3D, no Post Conversion shite here - respect. Yet, I wasn't blown away by it. Apart from a handful of scenes that stood out and some stuff flying out the screen... it was whatever. Am starting to think that I'm just not a 3D kind of guy at heart. AVATAR, PIRANHA 3D, RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE and DRIVE ANGRY aside; 3D in movies has yet to FULLY satisfy me. Oh well. Talk amongst yourselves...

On the whole though, UNDERWORLD AWAKENING made for an effortless buck and a half of vacuous, visually striking and Ketchup laced entertainment; hey nothing wrong with that! Sit back, relax and enjoy watching Selene f*ck peeps up while she puts the motion in slow motion! Let the Kibbles and gore fly!

GORE

We got CG gore but gore nonetheless. Talk about a full house! Slit throats, nasty bites, a beheading, stabbings, an awesome ripped out throat and more! I think it was the goriest entry in the franchise so far...

T & A

Kate Becksinsale was naked at some point, but we didn't see shit (tease). I did enjoy gawking at her healthy derriere throughout though, specially during that ventilation shaft scene. Yum.

BOTTOM LINE

If like my sorry ass you want a smoking hot Kate Beckinsale, jaw dropping action scenes, all wrapped up in stylish visuals from an Underworld movie; then you’ll be well served with this f*cko. The gore, and the varied beasties chimed in to liven up the party as well! Yeah the story was only a “base”, the middle section was a bit slow, Michael was missed and the cop subplot was Zzzzz... but as the end credits rolled; I considered myself an amused jerk and personally that is the main reason I see these freaking movies. Now I'm jonesing to see Part 1 and 2 again, it's been a while, thou shall be done! Oh and another Underworld movie? AM DOWN! Get Michael (played by Scott Speedman) into the mix and a fuller script and off to the races we go! Bring it!

BULL'S EYE

The flick was shot in in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Underworld: Awakening is one of the first movies to be shot using RED EPIC digital cameras in 3D.

Scott Speedman has said in the press that he doesn't expect to ever do another Underworld film again.