SpongeBob Squarepants

SpongeBob SquarePants is a cartoon about a sentient sponge named SpongeBob doing random, repetitive, unfunny jokes that stretch longer than Kirk Johnson's anus, which in turn inspired thosands of equally unfunny YouTube Poops and compilation videos. The show is a notable lolcow for the fact that it's quite obvious that SpongeBob is gay. Why else would he need so many holes, cryin EVERY SINGLE FUCKING EPISODE and on one occasion adopt a child in a same-sex partnership? From day one to the current day, all of the episodes promote homosexuality and everyone who watches it has most likely turned gay in one way or another by now.

Contents

SpongeBob SquarePants: The main fag of the show. Despite being clearly overage, he acts like an AIDS infected fucktard who cries every time a baby is born in China and has a crush on Squidward in every single goddamn episode.

Squidward Tentacles: A penis nosed squid who bitches about everything. He considers himself a great clarinet player despite clearly sucking ass at it. Today, he has no role other than being tortured by SpongeBob and Patrick in every episode he appears in. Expect him to commit suicide in the next episode. Turns out, the sick fucks at Nick made an entire episode, Are You Happy Now?, about trying to make fun of Squidward supposedly committing suicide. But, to avoid ratings dropping, they kept him alive, and his torture continues.

Eugene Krabs: SpongeBob's cheap ass boss, a reject of a pirate and a failure of a dad. He clearly got around since he has a daughter that's a whale. Now all he cares about is money.

Sheldon Plankton: The troll of the show and a very bad one at it. Despite being an evil genius with the technology to take over the world, he instead wastes it trying to attain a glass bottle from Mr. Krabs and run his own fast food chain. He's a virgin, since he's married to his computer.

Sandy Cheeks: The show's main subject of Rule 34. Despite being Texan, she's actually smart and athletic, i.e. a Mary Sue, which is just enough to deserve her getting ran over by a truck or getting raped...or both.

Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob's MILF teacher who runs the ocean's boat-driving school and wears a sailor uniform. She fears SpongeBob in regard to his intelligence on the wheel but pretends to like him so he doesn't cry. Her husband is dead, so she wants to experiment with Mr. Krabs.

Pearl Krabs: The bitchy crybaby teen of the show who is a big fat whale. She has Mr. Krabs as her father. Most people with a brain would assume she is adopted, but SpongeBob's creator insists she and Mr. Krabs are biologically related. Her mother was obviously hunted down by Chinese fishermen.

Gary the Snail: SpongeBob's pet snail that eats the couch when his retarded owner doesn't feed him. He is by far the smartest character on the show, despite how the villains are literally supposed to be an evil genius and a talking computer, because the current show writers have dumbed down everyone else.