Mmmm. Toast.

The lede and first graf (which is really all you need to know), in case the link goes away:

An Oconomowoc man heard a neighbor watching an adult film, but mistakenly thought a woman was being raped.

Bret Stieghorst was watching an adult movie with the volume up loud. His downstairs neighbor, James Van Iveren, heard a woman screaming in the movie, but thought a woman was actually being attacked. Instead of calling police, he took matters into his own hands, ran up the stairs and broke down the door, all while brandishing a three foot long military-style sword.

The monk and I saw this on the news last night and this morning and couldn’t figure out which part of it was the most horrifying — the loud porn (god, I hate loud neighbors), the scary swordsman whose pupils were so dilated he looked like he had black buttons for eyes, or the fact that the porn-watching dumbass was inviting camera crews into his home to talk about the incident…

Dad2/22/2007

And in that last moment of a noble gesture gone tragically wrong, the cops confiscated the sword…
(By the way, Zorro was living with his mom.)