subscribe

Pages

Monday, March 21, 2011

Monday, March 21, 2011

Remember those helmet-shaped cookie cakes they rolled out for football season?

See, you can tell it's a helmet by the two tiny helmets stuck inside it.

Well, it turns out that football helmet cakes aren't quite as hot right now, what with football season being over and all. At least, I think it is. By which I mean: I have no idea. I mean, I suppose I could look it up or something, but that would require a modicum of effort, and who has the time when Modern Family's about to start?

So, let's just operate under the assumption that football season IS in fact over, and then we can move on, ok? Ok.

Now, with football season over...[warning glare]...bakeries have had to figure out what to do with all these helmet-shaped pans. 'Cuz Crocker knows, they certainly can't NOT use them.

(Hey, do you ever get the sense that I'm leading up to something?)

(Why? No reason. Just curious.)

KER-BLAMMIE!!!

Vomiting Cookie Monster.

[dusting off hands] My work here is done.

Or....IS IT?

BAM! ZIP! POO!

Yep. Now that's a triple-header, right there.

Thanks to Adam S., Nicki L., & Krystal H., who still think the Avatar face was better. The spoil-sports.

Wow, that's really stretching it. No explanation for the little cutout part either.

BTW, where does one buy naked mohawk baby carrot jockeys? I'm in need of some for a project (don't ask). I can't even think what to Google to come up with them. Somehow they will always be NMBCJ's, which I think Jen should trademark.

I can see potential in the flowers... What if you were to flatten the bottom chin strap and use the small part as a clay base (frosting applied) and do a big bouquet of flowers coming out in the helmet?

Yea it would be frosting overload for sure but sure look better than what they created!!

I'm saddened by the lack of creativity on the final three cookies. Why try to force the shape to look like a lopsided bouquet, balloon or baboon butt (tilt your head to the left-- now you can't unsee it), when the shape is already just about perfect for a super-cute nautilus cake?

It's the second day of Spring and it's been snowing for an hour and we already have around two inches on the ground. So I don't care what you say. I really needed to see those beautiful spring helmet flowers and cheery helmet balloons AND that pinkish orangish helmet-like thing.If I close my eyes and picture them, I can almost forget that I have to go find my shovel.

No Ma'am. That's not a helmet with flowers on it. It is just a lovely spring bouquet. Yes, I know there are added details on the clear lid that lead you to believe you are looking at the new helmet for the Deleware Daisies high school football team but I assure you that is just a coincidence. There is no trademark violation here.

Maybe these cookies cakes are leftovers from football season because the bakers also didn't realize that football season is indeed over. (For some of us, it never even started.) So when whichever unlucky or foolish soul buys this garish hoax of a cookie cake, he or she will have one less tooth to show for biting into it. Perhaps this is why cookie monster is toothless. He doesn't take the time to discern a fresh cookie cake from a last-season antique. Then he barfs it all up. Poor poor cookie monster. Let us all learn from his mistake.

Y'know, the Cookie Monster Cookie could be improved by making the chinstrap section into his hand (paw?), stuffing a cookie into his mouth. It would still be a leftover helmet cookie, but a tad less disturbing.

The first one doesn't bother me in structure execution so much, just the decorative execution. They HAVE the team logo on the little plastic things RIGHT THERE. And they still put it on wrong. Vomiting Cookie Monster is absolute genius.

They must have wanted to use up the helmet-shaped plastic containers or something. And is that red thing on the right in the last picture supposed to be a heart, or a boxing glove? Not really sure. And why, oh why, would anyone want a vomiting cookie monster cake? Even before I read the commentary, that's what I thought it was. Btw, great commentary again today!

I just had the worst weekend of my life, and that puking cookie monster was probably the only think that could cheer me up right now. Thanks, Jen, for being there every crappy morning to make the day a little less crappy with other people's crappy cakes (and your side-splitting commentary).

Also, you could convert the sideways helmet cake into a hot air balloon with minimal wreckiness.

@Tricia L: I see them periodically in the cake sections of craft stores, but if you've got a cake decorator's supply shop nearby they'll either have them or be able to order them for you.

Google for cake decorating plastic babies.

As someone else posted, you need to do your own carrots until such time as Jen and Jon truly take over the world and start their own cake supply biz. OMG I want...no...NEED a silicone pan in the shape of carrot jockeys! NOW! STAT! Pretty please?

Ok, going out on a limb here, but maybe Cookie Monster isn't barfing, maybe those are just crumbs flying out of his mouth....maybe? I think I may be permanently damaged at the thought of Cookie Monster tossing chunks.. om nom nom nom blerg

I have to agree with Inaya: thanks for making this crappy day better. Between the commentary and the comments-ary, I've almost laughed away my bad temper. Maybe it's time to hit the archives to get rid of the rest of it.

@ Tricia L.: I've also seen the "babies" at party stores, in the "baby shower" section.

And yes, I, too, had to guffaw at the Colts helmet - so close, and yet so far... Thank goodness they didn't have to draw the Patriots' "Flying Elvis" or "Pat Patriot", if they can't even get a horseshoe right!

Jen for the AWESOME, CRAPPY-DAY- CHASING- AWAY, YOU DID IT AGAIN PHENOMENAL WIN!! (warning glare? LMAO)

-Barbara Anne

P.S. I have an idea for a post- just put up cakes that represent pop culture and we, your devoted wreckies, will try to guess what you were referencing. :D You could tell us the next day if we were right.

@ ChanaSorel Good eye with the whale/santa cake. But more importantly, WTF is a Cookie O'Puss!? That HAS to be a recycled use of the snowman pan or else why wouldn't they just come up with a nice shamrock shape or something? That thing is terrifying!But anyway, I totally want one of these 'helmet' pans so I can make all of the giant skull cookies I want during Halloween!

I just realized that in the first picture (the one that's actually supposed to be a helmet) the tiny helmets have a horse shoe shape, but the decorator seems like he didn't quite have the talent for that, so he subtly subbed a "C".

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.