Saturday, December 31, 2005

Thursday, December 29, 2005

There is absolutely nothing like feeling like total crap to make you appreciate how great "normal" feels.

My body ache is gone, the nausea is gone, all that remains is a slight head ache and I'm having a cup of coffee at the moment which seems to be taking care of that.

I don't know what happened yesterday but I'm glad that it seems to be out of my system. Today, we have our handy-person coming to the house to work on a few projects. He was supposed to be here yesterday but he too had the flu / sickness and never arrived. If he doesn't show up today I won't be heart broken. Just in case he does though, I should scurry off and grab a shower.

Today I plan to do nothing but read and maybe watch some movies. You have no idea how good I feel right now, none!! Life is good, truly!!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I have posted here a lot less often than I had thought I might. Partly I've not posted much because the past few days have been busy with Christmas stuff and more than a smidgen of over-eating.

Today is actually the first day since Christmas that I've not over-indulged. I wish I could say it was because I'm deliberately being "good" but it's not. I feel crappy, well less crappy now than I did this morning but I've picked up a bug somewhere. I say somewhere but I think I know where, exactly. On Boxing Day, we went to a fabulous open house at my aunt and uncle's. One of my cousins (not the host family kid, another aunt and uncle's child) brought his adorable 20 month old daughter to the shindig. Unfortunately, his wife was not able to attend as she was at home vomiting. Now, the cute daughter was not sick herself but I'm sure she was a carrier and she crawled and climbed all over all of us at one point or another during the afternoon. I woke up in the night last night, bathed in sweat and feeling nauseous. I slept for a good chunk of the afternoon and awoke, famished (not having eaten a bite all day). I had some toast and sprite and still feel achey but the sick tummy thing seems to be gone. Ahh, what would the holidays be without getting sick huh??

So, Christmas Day, Boxing day and even yesterday were full of big yummy meals, chips, cookies, just generally bad snacking type of things that could have been enjoyed in moderation. The bad eating probably contributed to the bug too, I'm pretty sure. So, that's what I've been upto. I'm hoping that the rest of my vacation will be restful but not in a "I must rest because I'm sick" way. I'm quite looking forward to posting here again about actual fitness accomplishments and good stuff I've been doing.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

It's a good kind of pooped though. We had a busy day, it was a long day but it was productive. This morning, I did some more baking, another pan of squares, another batch of cookies. I didn't get as much done as I had thought I would (I had planned to make two more varieties of cookies) but, looking at the pile of tins that have piled up in our spare room, I'd say that I did okay.

Tonight, we went out to my folks' place. They live in a, I guess you would call it a village now, it's bigger than a suburb. The area they live in have a cool / strange, Christmas tradition. Santa drives around on the back of a fire truck on Christmas eve:

You know it's Christmas for sure, when you spot Santa on the fire truck!

Anyway, my house is clean (finally), the gifts are all wrapped and ready to go to my mum's tomorrow and the baking is done. I can sleep now, yay!!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

I remember when I was a teenager. My friends and I would spend as much time as humanly possible at the mall. I think we were insane. I cannot imagine doing that again, particularly not at this time of the year. Thankfully, my proper holiday shopping is done. Today was all about the groceries...

This morning, I drove my hunny to work at 5:30 a.m., came home, had breakfast, cleaned up my act, made my shopping list and was at the grocery store when it opened at 8 a.m. In less than an hour, I had almost everything that we needed, as well as some stuff my mum needed and was on my way to her place. Now, I should mention that I was doing this in a mini-snow storm. Me, who hates winter driving, drove all over hell's half-acre, in the snow. I feel quite proud of myself for this, silly as it probably seems.

I stayed at my folks' place long enough to drop off groceries and have a wee visit. I basically was killing time until Costco opened. Now, for those of you not familiar with snowy winters, in these here parts (being south eastern Ontario), snow removal bites. I don't know if our municipality plans it's snow removal budget based on the calendar year or if they just don't give a pooh about it but our streets are super narrow because of willy-nilly snow banks and the sidewalks are non-existent in many neighbours. I guess they figure that because the temperature is supposed to rise tomorrow, it'll melt and folks can just walk down the middle of the road in the meantime.

Parking lots, on the other hand, are usually much better than city streets. Unfortunately, when you have as much snow on the ground as we do right now, you can't see the pavement in parking lots. People take advantage of this situation and create their own parking spots wherever they feel like. It made getting in and out of Costco just super fun, as I'm sure you can imagine. Bad parking and horrible roads (not to mention blowing snow) aside, I now have all of my shopping done. Our fridge and pantry are both full and I don't need to go near a store again until after Christmas. Yay!!

The forecast for tomorrow is freezing rain, I'm going to stay home and bake...and bake...and bake. Tonight I'm even going to try to find some low-fat Christmas cookie recipes. Not everything I make needs to be full of chocolate (although that does make it extra good!!). If I find any that turn out well, I'll post the recipe here. Promise!!

Thanks to the lovely and oooh sooo talented Ms Taylore, last year I discovered the joys of making Holiday Pretzel Treats. They were such a hit last year that I'm making them again this year, although I'm making twice as many. Lucky for me, and this is like the only time I'm able to show restraint around chocolate, I'm not a nibbler while baking. After the fact, after it's done and cooled and I have shared out the bulk of it with family and friends, I'll get into the left-overs. Hopefully, if I do this right, there won't be any left around the house.

Sadly, most of the stuff I bake is decadent and really yummy and full of empty calories. Fortunately, we got groceries on the weekend and picked up many healthy things to snack on. The challenge will be to stick to them and not indulge my "chocolate tooth."

Monday, December 19, 2005

The weekend was a bit of a blur. On Friday, my first official day of vacation, I did laundry and finished up 4 home-made Christmas gifts. It was a really good feeling.

Thursday night, we popped out after work (but before the storm) and got the biggest chunk of our shopping finished. All that is left is like, um...doing my baking and picking up one of those cards you tuck money into (for my 19 year godson).

On Friday, we woke up to a huge, thick blanket of snow. It was pretty but boy, it was heavy. We had literally, a foot of snow on our front porch. It took everything I had to clear the steps and shovel the path to the driveway. Fortunately for us, we have a lovely neighbour who will snow-blow for beer. Sweet deal, really. He did the driveway, which is a very good thing because I know it would have taken me all day.

So far, exercise has consisted of shopping and shoveling. Eating has been a little unstructured but we didn't eat in a restaurant all weekend so that is a huge improvement for us. I should run along now. My hunny is home sick today, really sick, fever, back-ache, it's not good. Hopefully it'll be one of those 24 hour things. Poor dear.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

It's holiday time!! Yes folks, that's right, it's time for me to start my vacation. I just got back from our big annual office holiday party and I've tied up a few loose ends so that I can actually not have to come into the office tomorrow. I am bringing my laptop home though. There is something that I need to do on Tuesday but my boss is giving me a 1/2 day for it later on.

Yay!! I don't go back into the office until January 4. Can you believe that?? It's almost three weeks!! Hopefully, the trend I started today at the luncheon will stick with me through the rest of the holidays.

Good holiday party things I did today:

1. Enjoyed a diet soda instead of having a "real" drink2. Ordered the vegetarian selection instead of having turkey and the trimmings (it was eggplant and very yummy)3. Took exactly 1 1/2 bites of the really yummy chocolate covered custard dessert thing and then pushed the rest away

I don't feel like any kind of martyr either. I made good choices and enjoyed the party and had a really nice visit with a colleague who I don't see very often so the whole thing was great.

Now, I have 9 days to get my christmas shit together. Wish me luck kiddos!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I should have mentioned yesterday that "Source" yogurts are a product of the Yoplait company and, I'm in Canada. Today, I've tried the raspberry cranberry crumble and in a little while, I'll have the strawberry chantilly. The chocolate one I tried yesterday was okay but it didn't sit very well. I think that fruit based is always the route to go with these things.

This morning I got brave again (not sure why I always think that this is an act of bravery) and stepped on the scale. Now, I hadn't lost anything but the scale hadn't moved either. Given that the only real exercise I've had in the past week is some snow shoveling, and add to that, pizza for dinner last night, I'm not surprised. I'm guessing that maintenance during the holidays wouldn't be a horrible goal to have.

Slowly, I'm getting used to my hair. One of the benefits of long hair was that it didn't require any time at all in the morning. My hair was so heavy that I could not literally do a thing with it. I would pull on a hat and go out with a wet head. Mid-morning, it would get pulled back into a ponytail. That's it. Now, I'm once again a slave to my hair dryer. I even dug out my hair wax. I like it, it's definitely cute and I'm discovering that it's a very good cut. It's also sort of magical because my face looks less fat now. Perhaps that is a lack of pms bloat but I think that a big part of it is the haircut. Say it with me, hurray for optical illusions!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Oh my goodness, have you tried the new(ish - I just discovered them this week not sure they've actually been around) Source "Dessert Selection" yogurts?? I fell in love with their vanilla series and this new dessert group is yumm-eeee. Now, I know it's not nearly the same as having a "real" (read fatty, sugary wonderful) dessert but it's a nice snack. A little while ago, I had a lemon meringue parfait and right now I'm enjoying a chocolate cherry fondue. Now, don't get me wrong, there is no mistaking the fact that this is fat free yogurt but, it's sweet and it's 50 fat free calories and I'm very much enjoying it!

I haven't been around here too much. I've been kind of busy with work (getting ready to start my vacation -- my last day in the office for 2005 is December 15!) and of course, at home, we're trying to get holiday stuff sorted out. In amongst that, making time to see friends and try to catch our breath a little and actually enjoy the holiday season is eating up much of our time.

On the weekend, I finally broke down and bought some new clothes. I spent what a amounts to a small fortune on four sweaters, three pairs of pants and a nightie. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have picked up four sweaters but they were on sale and I figured that I'd get a lot of wear out of them. I also cut my hair, a lot of it.

I've mentioned this before but, salons would go under if they depended upon my business to keep them going. It's been over a year since I went for a cut. I just go to those super cut places. On Saturday, I walked in and the woman asked me what I wanted. I told her that I was just looking for a trim. She asked me how long my hair was and I pulled it out of the pony tail it was in. She sort of gulped when I explained that I'd like it shoulder-length. She just kept saying, "well that's a lot of hair" and I kept assuring that it was okay. While I was in the sink, I told her about how I'd donated some hair a couple of years ago so, when I get over to her chair, she pulls out her comb and measures my hair. Then she tells me that I have enough for another donation. Back into the pony tail it goes and now, 4 days later, it's still drying out at home. It took her a long time to cut it and I should be happy that she was so fussy. When it was all done, it really did look cute. I waited until I was almost back to my car before I pulled my toque out of my pocket and pulled it on over my new do. What can I say?? I'm a Canadian girl and I don't like my head to get cold!

I joked with the girl who cut my hair that I'd probably lost five pounds in hair alone. I don't know if, hair aside, I actually did lose any weight this week. I've decided to only weigh in every other week or so. I'm trying hard to not be a slave to my scales. Again, I'm still watching what I'm eating. I've also been shoveling the driveway a fair little bit so I'm getting some very good cardio workouts. All in all, I'm happy to be feeling most positive than I was a couple of weeks ago. I feel like I'm back in control again and that's a huge deal for me.

Friday, December 09, 2005

...into the snow!!! Not really but I totally felt like falling into the snow and making angels this morning. Anything to avoid the office.

Today was one of those tough days...it was stormy in the morning, sunny in the afternoon, it's Friday, and almost everyone else was off today. Talk about hard to concentrate. Despite that, I managed to get some stuff done. I even did some outdoors aerobic exercise (ie shoveling) this morning before I got to the office. Yay me!!

The past few days have been kind of busy, hence the lack of posts. Fear not gentle reader, I'm still keeping more or less to my pre-holiday plan. I'll probably try to write more about the weight-loss efforts over the weekend. Really, today, I just wanted to let you know that I'm still here and, if you're looking for "news," I've been updating over at my other blog.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

For the first time in weeks, I feel pretty good today. Over the past month and a bit, I've either been feeling really stressed or have had cold / flu symptoms. I think that remembering to take my vitamins and eating better is making a huge difference. It feels like I'm back into the groove of knowing, at the end of the day, that I have done more good things than bad for my body. At least this has been the case for the past week. I won't say that I haven't eaten "bad" stuff (we had pizza on Friday night, Chinese buffet last night) but it's been in moderate amounts so I feel like I'm gaining control. I'm more about the "gaining of control" than I am about the "losing of weight" because, I know that if I succeed at the first, the second will follow.

I realized this morning that I still need to bite the bullet and buy some new clothes. I have been avoiding it for the past couple of weeks. Even though I'm sure I'm losing (or not gaining -- I haven't stepped on the scale yet this week), I can't wait any longer. This weekend, I'm definitely going out to pick up a few things. I feel like such a slob these days. I have many outfits of the extremely dressy variety (which aren't good for regular work days) or lots of "nice" casual stuff that is too casual for the office. I need work clothes, thank goodness our office isn't really dressy, I should be able to get away with 2 or 3 new pairs of pants and a few sweaters. One thing I keep telling myself is that pants can always be taken in if they get too big...er, not if, when!! Positivity (is that even a word?), right?

I know that some new clothes (and a desperately needed hair cut) will make me feel better about myself and will reinforce my efforts to get back into control of my eating. Exercise is the next important step for me. I've been doing a little bit of walking but need to build on that. Slowly, but surely, I'm sorting my shit out. Finally!!

Monday, December 05, 2005

It snowed here over the weekend. Yesterday actually, all day. Late in the afternoon it had finally stopped and I dragged my hunny outside to do some shovelling. Fortunately for us, the snow was of the light-fluffy variety so it wasn't heavy but boy, when you're not used to it, shovelling can really take it out of you.

In addition to the snow removal, we got a lot of stuff done around the house. We've been in the house 6 months already but it has only really felt like we're accomplishing stuff, the past few weeks. I found and pulled out all of my holiday decorations. I even got the tree up (and put the lights on, the decorations will have to wait until some evening this week). This is the first time in 3 or 4 years that I've done that. In our old place, I didn't have a lot of room for a tree so we didn't bother with it.

The nice thing about "getting stuff done" is that it didn't leave a lot of time to worry about snacking. We pretty much stuck to our meals all weekend and didn't do much munching. Now, having said that, we did have pizza on Friday night but, I just had a couple of slices for dinner and didn't spend the evening slowly devouring the whole thing. Slowly, I'm getting back into my groove and am feeling much better about things than I did last week.

I'm going to try to get back to doing this regularly again, so here is my latest weekly wrap-up:summary - week ending December 4

Kicked my own ass, hard and got back on track-ish

I took my vitamins 5 out of 7 days this week

met my daily water intake goal 5 out of 7 days

actually got on the scales this week

got outside and did a little exercise over the weekend, shovelling snow soooo counts!!

Friday, December 02, 2005

Every time I get up to walk to the printer, I have to pass by a plate of fresh baked brownies. All you can smell in the hallway is chocolate. It's so unfair. I don't have the energy to white-knuckle things today. sheesh!!

Okay, enough about delicious brownies....today is day three of my re-re-re-start and I have a few NSV's to report:

1. No after-dinner snacking happened on either Wednesday or Thursday2. I have recorded everything I have eaten for the past few days3. I have repeated the healthy breakfast regime two whole days in a row

Not a bad start huh?? I know that it's kind of sad to report on such things but they mean a lot to me. They help me remind myself that this is something I can do. The little things that are hard now will become easy later on, once again, they'll become my habit instead of something I have to remind myself to do (or to not do!).

This morning, an email was circulated at work with the menu for our "big" office party. It's a luncheon, buffet, turkey and whatnot. Given that I'm not much of a turkey fan, I've requested the vegetarian option (so I won't get suckered in to eating mashed potatoes and gravy!!) and I've decided to skip dessert. I thought about asking for fruit but you know, given what I normally eat for lunch, the eggplant dish that they have on offer will probably be a lot bigger than my normal meal so I won't "need" dessert (seriously, when do we ever need dessert??). We have another holiday gathering at work (with our immediate department, not the entire organization) next week. Honestly, this is going to sound odd I know, but I'd prefer to get to see other folks in a professional development capacity. When it comes to these social events, I'd much rather stay at my desk and get some work done. I'm a freak, I know.

All of this holiday hub-bub is going to be tough to navigate but I'll get through it. I'm not being a hard-ass on myself or anything. I'll be having some cookies at Christmas, for sure. My plan is to keep my eating as "clean" as possible between now and January 1. This way, if I do have a few treats over the actual holiday weekend, I'll hopefully have lost maybe a pound or two by the end of the month, instead of gaining five. I know it's a far cry from my plan/goal to lose 40 pounds by January 1 but it's something.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Some folks don't eat breakfast at all. I used to be one of them. I'd skip breakfast, have a small lunch and then eat a huge dinner. This is one of the many contributing factors to my fat. When I started to get serious about losing weight, way back in January 2003, I started eating breakfast, healthy, well-balanced, satisfying. Recently, like since we moved into our new house, so since May I guess, I've continued to eat breakfast but, I have been eating way too much breakfast. I swapped my measured bowl of sensible cereal and fresh fruit for toast, lots of it sometimes, toasted bread or bagels. The toasted bread product would be topped (of course) with any variety of not-so-sensible things that were either full of fat, or sugar or (heavens forbid!) both. This morning, I put an end to that. I had my normal, sensible, healthy cereal / fruit / juice / soy milk breakfast. By mid-morning, I could feel mild pangs of hunger and I knew that I was on the right track. I sipped some water, ate an orange (mmmm...clementines) and carried on with my morning.

Right now, as I type, I'm eating my lunch. Packed at home, well-balanced, nutritious. Also, I've recorded every morsel of food I've eaten so far today into my fitday journal. A couple of weeks back, I re-started the fitday thing and quickly abandoned it. I should never do that, seriously. Whenever I'm journaling food, even if I'm eating too much some days, I makes me concentrate on what I'm doing. It's such a common sense thing. I know that I abandon it because not recording what I'm eating gives me free reign to just go nuts and stop caring. As I wrote yesterday, I'm through not caring. If I don't care enough about myself to eat healthy foods and try to get fit, who will care?? Don't get me wrong, I know that some of you would care quite a bit but I'm the only one who is in a position to do anything about it.

So, I think I have a handle on the eating thing. Cautiously optimistic is I guess how I'd put it right now. Starting this on the same day that my period starts is probably a good thing. I mean, the PMS would explain the bad food choices of last week and I'll take the cramps and general yucky feeling that I've got right and use them to help me control my eating. The exercise thing will come too. I found my WATP DVD's on the weekend and I actually sat on my bike for a few minutes on the weekend (and even pedalled a bit!). So, so far, so good, new month, new start, blah blah blah...I've got my planned worked out, now I just need to work the plan!