I don't really care how much the latest superhero film took at the box office, although I'd probably know if you asked me. When I watch a film the main thing I am looking for is a good story. I like it when I look up at the big screen and can see a part of me staring back at me. More than anything, I am still looking for Jimmy Stewart and Jack Lemmon and Billy Wilder in every film I see.

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Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Kid In The Wrong Row

It's funny how everyone fits in at school apart from all the ones who don't. How do you know you're a misfit, is it gradual, or do you know from day one?

When you're 12 and not cool, it's kind of painful. Cause everyone is laughing at jokes you don't find funny and everyone is talking to the girl but she just won't talk to you.

And for a while you're just nowhere, until you find out you're you. It's like a bolt at 15 when you realise you don't just like the movies you like but you think they're important. You'd die for them. Because when you're a kid in the wrong row you find what you love at 13 and you know it holds the secrets of the universe, and everyone else is just passing the time, but you're falling into your passions. I don't know why you're this way but you are.

And pretty soon you're 22 or 36 and you're still certain of who you are even though the world around you doesn't get it. But you live for it because it's what you believe in, it's why you get up in the morning.

You're a movie star or a painter or a writer and the world doesn't know it yet. You turn 46 or 28 and you're just being who you became at 13; because you are who you are and you love what you love. It's something you know that you can't quite explain and any day now you're going to capture it in a character or turn it into a lyric and finally you'll nail it. And everyone who never got you will find something out about themselves all because back when you were a kid you found out who you were and went a different way.

Love this. YES. I get it! I've always been in the wrong row, my whole life, listening to a different song, reading a different book than everyone else, listening to a rhythm that not many other people could hear. Now that I'm an adult and have embraced being in the wrong row, it turns out it's suddenly cool and people pay attention to the things I do, which is weird but also kind of fun. Sometimes I think I'd like to go back in time and tell my 13 year old self that things are gonna get a lot better, but then I sit back and think, "Naaah. Why would I ruin the most amazing surprise life has ever given me?"

Yes, i know the feeling completely, I am 17 yet i am still in that awkward stage of where do i fit in, it was thanks to a teacher that i found my love for writing, and my reason, it was a little later in life than 13, lol, but i found it, in the poetry unit you only had to write 10, i wrote 45. Seeing this my teacher pulled me aside, i never fit in because ill admit, im not gorgeous, and im horrible at sports because im awkward and a klutz, yet art, just spoke to me, and now i fit in with the other writers, being a teenager is hard, but its easy once you stop trying to fit in and just let the world try to mold around you.