Dear Donnarose

Q: Dear Donnarose, how do I let go of the need for an apology? One of my best friends and I had a falling out over business. We swept it all under the rug. But as a result, I never got my apology. As silly as it may sound, it's been eating away at me for years. Please advise. ~MJ

A: “No matter how many times you buy new carpet, until the rotted wood underneath it is replaced, the odor will remain.” ~Donnarose Melvin.

Your situation is actually more common than you may think. Many hold a great deal of resentment within them. The thing is, your last statement you wrote above can literally happen. Many people who have “swallowed anger”, and/or gut rot from not saying or receiving something years ago, can literally rot out one's throat, mouth, stomach, etc. It's actually what we call in my line of work, “stuck energy”. If not “cleared out”, or “let out” through verbal expression or forgiveness, for examples, this stuck energy has no where else to go but to spread around the body and cause havoc.

But the good news is, that by asking your question, that says you're ready to end your long-time suffering.

It's also good to know that apologies by themselves, don't work. If your friend apologized, but you still haven't forgiven her, or yourself for perhaps blaming yourself for having been in that situation, the apology would simply have a neutral effect. But the other good news, is that you can actually still heal from this by just doing the forgiveness part, even if the apology never arrives. The reason is, it's the forgiveness and peacemaking part that helps clear the stuck energy.

What you can do, is bring in your angels, or whatever Higher power you choose, and say, “For all unspoken apologies, as well as anger, resentment, regret, and any other feelings unlike love, from this or any lifetime, that was caused by any negative words, thoughts or actions by all people involved, please help us to forgive and release each other, and ourselves, completely and fully, no matter what happened, for the highest good, please and thank you.”

Besides this forgiveness-type prayer, it's also always helpful to look for any potential lessons learned from the experience. And finally, to allow the stuck energy to remain cleared, it's important to work on raising your vibration. Self-worth, self-acceptance, love, and a self-deserving attitude all reside at a higher vibration. Here's my previous column link which can get you started.

Q: Dear Donnarose, I do so much for my family, friends and co-workers without hesitation. But in the last few months, my energy has really gone downhill. Yet not one person seems to be a bit concerned. What am I missing here? ~Regards, BL

A: “People often learn how to treat us, by watching how we treat ourselves.” ~Donnarose Melvin

When our energy is out of balance, our lives will match it. Under-doing for ourselves and over-doing for others will eventually cause us to topple over, and like you said, go downhill. It's inevitable. And when we don't tend to our own needs enough, the Universe will lovingly remind us. But after a while, their reminders are not so pleasant. Many people need to be jolted and suffer in order to remember how valuable they are, and to provide themselves with the same nurturing they give to others. What happened here, was in order for you to wake up and nurture yourself, any support around you had to be taken away. When something extreme like this happens, something finally clicks, and the person really starts to wake up and say that's it, I'm taking care of me now.

This attitude is what has been missing all along.

There are many benefits to dedicating yourself to you, as you help others as well. Consider that as it's observed by others how you hold yourself in high regard and take care of yourself, the respect energy towards you increases. This may sound odd, but another interesting thing you'll notice, is whatever you focus on, is what others will focus on. In other words, if people are so used to you focusing on them, they'll tend to respond by focusing on themselves as well. But the opposite will replace this as you start taking care of you. When you show you care about you, and focus on you, others then start focusing on you. This also relates to my quote above, that people often learn how to treat us, by watching how we treat ourselves. Experiment with this. Start really focusing on you, and taking care of yourself. And don't be surprised if all of a sudden you start seeing an emerging pattern of concern, care and assistance continuing to go in your direction. And after a while, you will feel more balanced, and harmony will increase amongst all. ~♥

Donnarose Melvin is a professional intuitive medium, and also does powerful distant energy clearings. Her knowledge from her BA degree in Psychology, along with her natural intuitive gifts, have helped thousands achieve increased peace and success. Please send your questions to: Donnarose1010@gmail.com or Facebook private msg her at Donnarose. She will select questions each month to share with you. Donnarose regrets that unpublished questions cannot be answered individually. If you’d like an energy clearing, or an intuitive reading, please contact Donnarose at the email address above.