This article covers the emergence and growth of organized recreational sex amongst
mixed-gender couples as a social activity.

The most frequently-used term for this community is the ``swing,'' ``swinging,''
or ``swinger's'' community. In the 1980's, Dr. Robert McGinley1 began promoting the use of ``lifestyles'' in place of ``swing,''
and ``playcouples''2 in place of ``swingers''; in addition to escaping media stereotypes that
had built up around ``swingers,'' he wanted a term that was inclusive
of couples who participated but didn't choose to interact sexually with other
couples.3 This new terminology (while certainly well-intentioned) hasn't fully caught
on yet4, and in the interest of avoiding confusion I'll tend to use the older term,
with no offense intended, particularly when discussing swinging's origins or
when discussing books or articles that themselves use the older term.

As far as anyone knows5, swinging (as this community exists today, in the
United States) had its roots amongst an elite group of U.S. Air Force
fighter pilots during World War II. These men were wealthy enough to move
their wives close to base, and the fact that their fatality rate was the
highest of any branch of service led to an unusual social milieu in which
non-monogamy between these pilots' wives and other pilots became
acceptable.6 These arrangements persisted near Air Force bases throughout World War II and
into the Korean War.

By the time the Korean War ended, these groups7 had spread from the bases to the nearby suburbs. The media picked up on them
in 1957 and promptly dubbed the phenomenon ``wife-swapping.''8 Although the media didn't treat this new phenomenon respectfully, the public's
response made it clear that they wanted to hear more. By 1960, there were over
20 widely-available magazines which carried ``swinger'' ads.9 These magazines provided a medium through which the first swinger parties could
advertise themselves, and the first permanent clubs began appearing in the late
1960's.10

Organized swinging outside California was originally all ``off-premise.''11 This was also true for New York until the legendary on-premise club ``Plato's
Retreat'' was founded12; in the South, Midwest, and Northwest, dances13 remained the most popular form of off-premise swinging. All of these clubs
were completely independent entities and there were no national gatherings.

Dr. Robert McGinley founded the Lifestyles Organization in 1975, through which
he began hosting the first national Lifestyles Conventions14 along with his first efforts to improve the public image of swinging.15 He subsequently founded the North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) in
1979, with the intent that NASCA serve as a trade and standards organization
for swing club owners.

The swinger's community continued to grow throughout the 1980's and 1990's16, and is currently enjoying an upsurge of interest and growth.17 Although single women are almost always welcome at today's swinging events,
the degree to which single men are accepted varies from club to club. Although
female bisexuality is common in the swing community, male bisexual activity
is still almost non-existent at swing events.

The swing community won their first major political battle in 1996-199718 against the California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control (ABC).19 As Gould [9] describes it, the rhetoric they used in this struggle
was a textbook example of how sex-positive communities of any kind can find
common ground with the public:

They argued that the ABC was attempting to regulate the private sexual
behavior of citizens, which made the ABC's actions everyone's concern rather
than just one organization's concern.

They got the ACLU and other free-speech / first-amendment advocates involved,
as a result of the ABC's interest in shutting down a display of erotic art at
their convention. McGinley considered this issue to be his ``high ground,''
and recognized that many consider censorship of art or speech to be warning
signs that government is on the wrong path.20

They aligned themselves, at least rhetorically, with the political struggles
of other sexual minorities (particularly the gay community). This framed the
debate in terms more favorable to them.

Swing clubs in some cities and states have faced unfair treatment from local
authorities (typically via selectively enforcing zoning regulations, or passing
new ordinances). Recently, this has occurred in Florida and Arizona.

The Arizona case is particularly interesting, because it essentially
resulted from a failure to align with other sexual minority groups. When
asked why Phoenix was shutting down its five swing clubs but leaving its gay
male sex club (``The Chute'') in peace, a City Attorney gave the following
remarkable answer [11]:

The gay constituency is very vocal, and they resist what they perceive to be
the government's attempt to focus specifically on places frequented by homosexuals...
They consider themselves a minority group, which creates an extra layer of analysis
we have to go through so we're not perceived as picking on gay people.

At least on its surface, this is a compelling argument for cooperation and solidarity
amongst the various elements of sex-positive culture.

The national media has been fairly erratic on the subject of swinging, and frequently
falls back on their tried-and-true approach to sex-positive culture in general
(i.e. ``titillate the public with it so you can increase sales, then judge
it harshly so you can maintain editorial credibility.'') A surprising number
of reporters have stooped to making small-minded comments about attendees' appearances
or ages, as if to imply that only fashion models should have the right to sexual
enjoyment.

However, Gould's recently-published book [9], the increased level of
respect gained through the recent legal victories in California, and the general
public's negative reaction to media coverage of the Monica Lewinksy scandal,
may ultimately result in more respectful and objective media coverage of swinging.

Polyamory, a modern term for ``the love of many people at once,'' is discussed
at length in [7], [1], and [21]. The question of what
exactly distinguishes ``polyamory'' from ``swinging'' has been the
subject of a staggering amount of internet debate.21

There is an increasing amount of crossover between poly communities and
swing communities, and every participant and local community is different.
What follows is my best attempt to characterize some general tendencies
that (in my observation, and at this point in time) seem to distinguish
these two communities. These are my personal observations and
characterizations of general tendencies that I have noticed locally, they
not rules, and there are always exceptions.

In my experience, it is the swing community's emphasis on sex as a social and
recreational activity between couples, together with the paramount importance
they place on protecting the existing relationship within each participating
couple, that distinguishes it from the poly cultures I have encountered.

Forming ``triads,'' ``quartets,'' or any other arrangement where
the new relationship bonds are of the same strength and priority as one's primary
relationship, is common in the poly community but rare in the swing
community. Likewise, regular participation in group sex is a fundamental characteristic
of the swing community that is comparatively rare in the poly community. Finally,
some of the modern poly community's current cultural influences (i.e. internet
culture, science fiction conventions and fandom, and neo-paganism)
have far less prominence in the swing community.

The number of parallels between the modern swing community and the modern BDSM/leather
community is truly remarkable.22

Each community began in the 1940's with World War II soldiers.23 During the late 1950's, the key clubs spread into the surrounding suburbs while
leather-clad motorcycle clubs fanned out over the open road, respectively evolving
into swing clubs and leather bars. NASCA was founded in 1979, the same year
that the first International Mr. Leather contest was held.

Each community now has its own professional and media watchdog organizations24, its own conventions for enthusiasts25 and club owners26, and each had its own legal crisis in California during the late 1990's.27

Each community has struggled with persistent media stereotypes, difficulties
with integrating all the new members the internet has brought them, and frustration
with social scientists and commentators who study them with varying levels of
cluefulness. Each community does things to irritate the other28, each has some points of etiquette where they agree (e.g. on the importance
of consent) but other points of etiquette where they may disagree (e.g. on whether
it's acceptable to casually touch someone while flirting). Each community has
its created its own magazines, books, jargon, clubs, documentaries, and mythology.

However, each community also has sexuality as its fundamental basis, a continual
need for play space, relatively equal levels of membership and political power,
and a common interest in the right of consenting adults to engage in whatever
sexual behavior they choose.

I'm reminded of those science fiction novels where two planets are populated
by common ancestors, proceed along different evolutionary paths, and then re-discover
each other many years later. I personally suspect that the similarities between
the swing community and the BDSM community are stronger than their differences,
and that they might be politically stronger working together29 than working apart.

Estimates of the prevalence of swinging amongst U.S. couples range from 0.5%
[18] to 2% [13]. This is roughly consistent with McGinley's total
estimate of 3,000,000 (see [9] and [14]).

One 1974 study found a prevalence of 1.7% amongst their (regionally limited)
sample, but found that 6.7% of their sample ``would participate if the opportunity
presented itself'' [4], and a later study [20] found that
19% of males and 14% of females in their sample sometimes fantasized about
group sex during intercourse.30

A 1985 study of over 400 swingers found its subjects ``significantly more
liberal than a control group of nonswingers on items dealing with areas such
as divorce, premarital sex, pornography, homosexuality [emphasis mine],
and abortion'' [13]. This result is consistent with a much later and
larger study [3], which found the swingers in its (internet-based)
sample to be ``less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the general
population.''31

A poll taken at the Lifestyles 1996 Convention found that 92% of the respondents
(presumably, almost all of whom were active in the lifestyle) believed that
swingers ``should'' be using condoms [9]. This is consistent with
a study completed four years earlier (see [13]) which found that 62%
of the swingers in its sample had changed their behavior as a result of AIDS.

In 1985, Jenks [12] found that non-swingers (inaccurately) believed swingers
were mostly political liberals who identified as upper class. Non-swingers also
over-estimated by a factor of three the percentage of swingers who drink or
use illegal drugs.

Here are some other reasons (paraphrased) that I have heard swingers mention:

It's an opportunity to re-create that ``first date'' feeling of anticipation
and excitement, in a safe way that won't harm your marriage, and to exercise
social skills (e.g. flirting) that you may not have used in along time.

It's human nature to appreciate someone even more if you notice other
people desiring them, which may explain why swinging makes me feel even more
attracted to my partner.

Although this may vary slightly from club to club, I've found the swinging community
to be quite accepting of a wide variety of body types, sizes, ages, and shapes.

It's an opportunity to dress sexy or [in the case of on-premise parties]
to go completely nude.

It's an opportunity for people with healthy sex drives to have that aspect of
themselves appreciated rather than snickered about.

It's an opportunity to socialize and form friendships amongst people who are
comfortable talking about sex openly.

Being inadvertently ``outed'' (e.g. to family members or one's employer)
is a concern for many. In my experience, swingers are very sensitive to this
issue and expect each other to be discreet when discussing parties outside the
club.

I was more than a little surprised by what the Adjudicative Desk Reference
[5] (which the Department of Defense uses to help guide security clearance
decisions) has to say about swinging:

Depending upon recency and frequency, participation in any form of group sex
may contribute to a decision against security approval if it is part of a pattern
of dissolute behavior (drinking, drugs, gambling), high risk behavior, or emotional
immaturity. It may not be a significant security concern if pursued discretely,
and if subject shows no other behavioral weaknesses and medical evaluation indicates
no emotional instability.

Potential for influence or coercion may not be a significant security issue
if the swinging is a consensual activity with one's spouse or primary partner,
and if participants make no great investment in secrecy. Swinging in private
with a few close friends is of less concern than attending a swinger's club
or having a number of anonymous contacts.

Swinging is primarily a social activity, and the ordinary social customs
of being courteous, initiating conversation, getting to know people, and letting
trusted acquaintances become friends are no different from any other walk of
life. Put another way, it's your ability to form friendships with couples,
as a couple, that will ultimately determine the quality of your experience in
the swing community.

It's important that you and your partner be comfortable saying ``yes''
when you both want to say yes and ``no'' when one of you wants to say
no.33

It's important for you and your partner to be in agreement on whatever your
safer sex expectations might be: although I have never run into a situation
where a request to use a condom was put down in any way, and condom use is certainly
widespread, it is not universal and is rarely required as part
of a club's rules.

If you have friends at a particular club, then you'll probably want to attend
your first few parties with them so they can introduce you to everyone else.

Some swingers prefer not to be around when their partner is having sex with
someone else (``closed swinging''), others may prefer or insist on it
(``open swinging''), some will only go as far as heavy petting and switch
back to their partner for any actual sex (``soft swinging''), and 10%
don't swing at all and are simply there to socialize and enjoy the fun-loving
and sexy environment. If one of you likes the idea of being in a more sex-positive
environment but is still intimidated by the thought of actual sex outside your
relationship, then the two of you might want to agree on a softer style (e.g.
``soft swinging'' or ``just socialize and enjoy the environment'')
and stick with that for a while.

At off-premise events such as dances, it's common for people to dress up or
wear fairly sexy clothing.

Dress at on-premise events tends to be more casual, since nudity is a common
outcome of the evening for many. It's a good idea to bring a robe or kimono
so you don't have to put all your clothes back on after getting undressed. It's
also good to avoid small or expensive jewelry that might get lost.

There's a community adage that ``the more enthusiastic member of a couple
will get the couple into swinging, but the less enthusiastic partner will keep
them there.'' As Carol Queen puts it [17]:

The swing community has noticed another prevalent dynamic in couples where one
partner, more often than not the man, has more enthusiasm than the other. He
has had terrific fantasies about freewheeling sex and plenty of it, and he finally
convinces his initially reluctant partner to give swinging a try. When they
get to the party, she has a great time and is high demand, while he thinks the
party's a dud... Before you pack up your sexy outfit and fistful of condoms,
take some time to consider and negotiate how you will deal with the chagrin
of the less popular partner if such a dismaying event happens to you.

Obviously, this fear might be alleviated by choosing (at least initially) to
only swing together as a couple.

Since you may have the opportunity to get physically close with one or more
folks during the course of the evening, it's probably a good idea to take a
shower, brush your teeth, and (if necessary) shave before showing up. If you
like to use your fingers as part of sex, then you might want to clip your fingernails.

Even if you're a regular, it's usually polite to make a reservation, and cancel
your reservation if you can't make it.

In the context of swinging, ``couples'' need not be married. It's expected,
however, that they have at least a little history together, a basic familiarity
with each others' emotional needs, and be comfortable approaching others as
a ``couple.''34 It's unwise, however, to bring someone (specifically, someone other than your
partner) who has no interest in swinging but who is willing to attend as a favor
to get you in the door; such attendees are called ``tickets,'' and this
practice isn't looked upon favorably.

If someone declines an invitation, it's considered rude to pester them with
``Well, why not?''

If you are part of a couple, then be sure you arrive together as a couple.

If you need to have a serious relationship discussion or argument with your
partner, it's considered polite to do so away from the party in a more private
area.

The tradition at some on-premise clubs is for one of the larger rooms to be
designated the ``group room.'' Depending on the club, some rules of etiquette
may be slightly relaxed in this room: in other words, it might be assumed OK
for someone to touch you unless/until you say no. Clubs that hold orientations
for new members usually mention this as part of their orientation.

Opening closed doors to bedroom areas and just staring at whatever is going
on is usually considered rude (note: on a related subject, some clubs have rules
against men being in certain areas of the building without their partners).

Using alcohol to excess is a bad idea, especially if you or your partner are
just getting into swinging.

Although there are several good swinger magazines, personal ads don't tend to
be as popular with couples who have already found a club they enjoy. If you'd
still like to try personal ads, though, then here are some tips:

I would like to begin by saying this: in the time I have spent in the swing
community, I have never heard so much as one comment that I would characterize
as homophobic. David Schisgall, when asked about homophobia at the Seattle premiere
of The Lifestyle: Swinging in America, reported exactly the same thing [19]. Furthermore,
as was noted earlier, several independent studies have found swingers to be
less homophobic than the general population.

However, when asked about the reason for the utter lack of male bisexual
activity at swing parties,36 Schisgall's best explanation was that, rather than being the result of overt
homophobia, it was simply ``not part of the culture.''37 My personal assessment is similar.

Nevertheless, as was suggested by the City Attorney's comments following Phoenix's
decision to close all of its swing clubs, as well as by the positive response
Dr. McGinley received when arguing that the LSO's struggle against the California
ABC was similar to the struggle for gay liberation, there may be tremendous
value in the swing community being able to more systematically align themselves
with other sexual minorities. If NASCA took a sexual orientation anti-discrimination
stance similar to their stance against racism, they might create a prime opportunity
to begin forging productive new alliances.

In 1984, Dr. Joan Dixon [6] published some fascinating research on
female bisexuality within the swing community. Summarizing:

She noted that the prevalence of sexual activity between females in the swing
community is extraordinarily high.38

She assembled (apparently without difficulty) a sample of 50 women for her study,
all of whom had their first experience with female-female sex in the swing community
after age 30, and none of whom even fantasized about women before these
first experiences.

Her study found that ``the generally positive reactions of these subjects
to their first sexual experience with other females after a lifetime of strict
heterosexuality ... progressed through repeated experience to an overwhelming
general rating of excellent,'' that the ``percentage of those whose masturbatory
fantasies at times included other females as erotic sex objects rose from 4.5%
to 61%,'' and that every one of the women in her study now self-identified
as bisexual.

This suggests the swing community might be a stunning example of the impact
``social facilitation'' can have on adult sexual behavior, preference,
and identity.

Dixon noted that ``from the tone and content of the subjects' comments the
vast majority of them made it clear that they would not have begun ...
[same-sex] sexual activity had not their respective spouses suggested it,
encouraged them to do so, and convinced them in various ways that they (the
spouses) approved of it.'' This leads me to wonder whether we would start
seeing a rapid increase in male-male sex (and eventually male bisexual self-identity)
at swing events if female swingers began openly expressing their sexual desire
and social approval for men who engaged in sexual activity with other men at
swing events. Since watching men have sex together is a commonly-reported fantasy
among women, this scenario may not be so farfetched.

An up-to-date directory of swing clubs can be found on the NASCA web site at
www.nasca.com.
If there
isn't a NASCA-affiliated club in your area, then you'll probably want to search
for independent clubs.39 More information on the annual Lifestyles Convention is available at www.lifestyles.org

The ACLU came to the aid of the Lifestyles Organization during their
1996-1997 struggle, and can be considered an ally on many swing community
issues; more information on joining the ACLU is available at www.aclu.org

According to [9], ``a lifestyle party quite often does not culminate
in sexual intercourse among couples; roughly 10 percent of the people who attend
just like being in an atmosphere where such an interchange is conceivable.''

frequently referred to as ``key clubs,'' stemming from an (almost certainly
apocryphal) story that some early participants would all throw their keys in
a pile, and the set of keys you picked at random at the end of the evening indicated
whose spouse you would go home with

Dr. McGinley's own ``Club WideWorld'' began in 1969 and continues to
this very day, though the Berkeley ``Sexual Freedom League'' (active one
or two years earlier) was noteworthy both for influencing people like McGinley
as well as for having an unusually political and and utopian basis.

The number of NASCA-affiliated swing clubs doubled to 300 between 1987 and 1997
[13]. There are also thousands of unaffiliated clubs and at least eleven
major conventions each year. Attendance at the largest convention (Lifestyles)
topped 3500 in 1996 [9].

in the swing community's case via middle/upper class straight men (fighter pilots)
who wanted their wives to stay within their existing social milieu should they
be killed in battle, and in the leather community's case via working/middle
class gay men (calvary and infantry) who wanted to preserve through their motorcycle
clubs the feeling of brotherhood they experienced during the war

The 14% figure also seems consistent with a more rigorous 1992 study (which,
unlike every other study referenced or mentioned in this article, was designed
to be statistically representative of the entire non-incarcerated and non-homeless
18-59 year-old population in America during 1992) that discovered 10% of women
aged 18-44 ``found the thought of sex with a stranger appealing'' and
9% of women aged 18-44 ``found the thought of group sex appealing.''
[15]

As reported in [8], ``About 85 percent of both husbands and wives
feel that swinging is not a threat to marriage or love between spouses. None
of them reported that their marriage became worse since they began swinging,
and the majority feel their marriages have improved. ... Many swingers
reported that rather than dampening their ardor for each other, swinging often
caused an arousal of sexual interest for each other. Many of them often engage
in sex together immediately after returning from a swinging party.''

Although not all couples find it necessary to do this, some couples feel more
comfortable having social ``codes'' that only the two of them know. Examples
might be discreet phrases or gestures which mean one of you is attracted to
the people or person he or she is talking to, or that one of you is not having
a good time and wants to get away from things for a while.

It is true that the swing community remains (for all practical purposes)
the only option for straight men and straight OR bi women seeking organized
recreational sex, while gay and bisexual men have always had additional options
of their own (e.g. the baths, more recently men-only sex clubs). It's unclear
to what degree this fact plays a role in the apparent lack of interest outside
the swing community for increased acceptance of male bisexual activity at swing
events, but whatever the cause there currently seems to be almost no pressure
from either inside or outside the swing community for any sort of change.

Whatever the true figure may be (68% was the lower of several results that
she quoted), it is clearly far in excess of the prevalence of female-female
sexual preference or activity within the general population [15].