Unwanted Advice after infidelity

Submitted by SamuelThu, 11/29/2012 - 17:15

When my affair became public, many so called “Advisors” came out of the woodwork, as they say. To this day, I still shake my head at some of the things that were said to me and to my wife Samantha, about me, my future, our marriage, our family, and my overall mental health. Looking back now, until we actually found a couple that would help support and lead us, as well as Rick Reynolds here at Affair Recovery, all of them gave us ridiculous advice or assessments of what they thought needed to happen or had genuinely happened to us. I don’t think one of them really acted in love at all, but more out of shock and disappointment from the events they heard had happened. What did in fact happen was truly heinous and grievous. Yet, the gross rumors and wicked gossip about this untruth and that untruth was enough to put anyone over the edge and true Christlike unconditional love anywhere was at a loss.

What I’ve found since then, is that in dealing with infidelity, that’s usually the norm. Unless someone has been there before and found their own healing, they just don’t get it nor probably ever will. Love always acts in the best interest of another, and where there is love, there is a conversation and level of advice which is redemptive, supportive and although not condoning of the poor choices or struggles, a genuine concern for the well-being of all parties involved. If you’re not experiencing that, I’d suggest you are surrounded with people who are more shocked, disappointed, grieved, and angry at the situation. And though probably rightfully deserving of their position since the choices of either yourself or your loved one affected them deeply, their advice will not usually prove sound at all when it comes to finding healing and possible restoration.

Like Samantha and me, it just might be time to find a new community of support. It might also be time for you to take action and not wait for that community to come to you. Usually it won’t pursue you till after you have pursued it and its members. Regardless of your hesitance to be trapped in a commiserating community, there are genuine people who care for you here at Affair Recovery and want to walk together into the uncertainty of it all, in an attempt to find health and healing. If it’s true that you can never know the end of a story by its beginning, then why not take action now and change the ending so many think is coming their way.