Changing the names of high school sports teams to be less offensive to certain groups—like Native Americans, for instance—is nothing new, but now a school board in Utah has taken it to a whole new level. A high school is opening in 2013 in the town of Draper, Utah, and they wanted to call their team the Cougars. The school board said they couldn't, however, because they worried the name might be offensive to middle-aged women. Jeeze, get your minds out of the gutter, school board members. And is the term cougar even offensive? There are certainly worse names to call a girl—and a team.

The school board also said that the name and color scheme the team had chosen was too similar to Utah's Brigham Young University, who also call themselves the Cougars. So what is the Corner Canyon High team going to do about a name? Maybe they should call themselves the Corners? It kind of works, since corners are sharp and they hurt if you run into them? Oh, nevermind, they went with the Chargers instead. Boooring—and extremely offensive to the hard-working cords that power up our mobile phones day after day, if you ask me.