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Another year gone by and you start to wonder if things have really changed for you, or is it just a new digit at the end of the date showing up on your smart phone and laptop. It is true that not all the passing years will have the same pace of change in your own personal life, but sometimes the pace can be too sluggish, monotonous and exasperating. This can happen especially when you are trying to change certain things in your life like trying to – get a new job, move to a different city, find a decent partner or get into a stable relationship, save enough for life’s big investment, anything that you’re clinging onto with volumes of hope but things don’t really seem to be moving. Sometimes, even if you aren’t planning on changing anything in your life, the sameness of everyday, that daily mundane and humdrum existence can take the ‘New’ out of ‘Happy New Year’.

Life altering big changes might sometimes take time to transpire and the improvements we wish do happen after all, but in a different way. Life has a different and better plan for you, remember? By making small changes in our daily lives we can still kill the routine and embrace happiness, or maybe try to tweak our master plan a bit to pace up things. The small changes we put into our life each day, each hour will finally lead us to bigger achievements we are hoping for. Nevertheless, start the year with a positive attitude and believe in the master plan of the universe.

One great thing about hope is that it never dies. – Yours Truly.. 🙂

Personally for me, 2015 was a mixed bag of emotions with intense moments, sighs of frustration with multiple patience tests, and unforgettable memories of loved ones. Some things really worked out the way I hoped for, while some opportunities were missed no matter how hard I tried.

Things, at any certain point in your life, may not be the way you hoped for in your mind. Correction, actually things will never be the way you hope for in your life, because let’s face it – life is a mess. And an ideal condition exists in theory, much as fairytales happen in story books. The truth is today will never be more perfect for you than it is today, at this moment. Life is a work in progress at each moment and hence, never say never.

I have been addicted to the new song “Half the world away” by Oasis, and it just ends perfectly for me – “I’ve been lost, I’ve been found. But I don’t feel down”.

Watch the video and if you wanna sing along, find the lyrics below. Happy 2016.

At the end of it all.. God just asks you one question – Were you a kind person?

No amount of – hours spent working hard, slogging your ass day in and day out; that hefty bank balance; lavish weekend parties you attend to get sloshed and post pretty pictures to your timeline to feed your ego; competing with your peer group for that brand new car, promotion or flat in an upmarket location; clothes and pretty stuff you click and buy, or splurge in malls – are going to really matter when your day arrives.

A few days back while sitting inside the pristine and tranquil hall of St. Paul’s Church, Kolkata, just a few meters away from the loud and cluttered city traffic, I was wondering about the way my life had shaped up so far. There were all these questions in my mind and I was trying to figure out how did I fare. Am I doing good for myself? Can I be considered successful or influential by some social measurement mechanism? Did I have enough? And then there were doubts and the scary questions.. Did I fall back as compared to my peer group and friends? Was I earning the least of all? Am I going to die alone? Am I really an also-ran?..

Strangely and suddenly at that very moment inside the ancient and timeless walls of the church, time seemed to have stopped, everything around seemed so peaceful, and all such questions and doubts seemed to me so small and silly when compared to your entire life and more important things in it.

Did I love enough? Did I allow an all-encompassing love to consume myself? Did I have passion? Did I keep on learning as I grew old? Did I help others to learn? Did I remain humble with my gains? And more importantly, was I a kind person?

The sprawling space inside the church hall between where I sat and the altar with Jesus on the cross, made me realize how less you need in life to be really happy! And at the end of it all, all that matters is were you kind enough..

One of the nicest piece I have ever read. Had to record this somewhere to remind myself throughout life what sexy really means.

“Being really, really good at something–anything–and having the confidence to be that good and just let it speak for itself: that’s sexy. Being strong enough to speak up when you see an injustice and say, “That’s wrong.” That’s very, very sexy. Embracing every birthday with the attitude that you’re not one year older, but one year better. That’s sexy. Loving somebody with all your heart, even when he or she is not around to see it, that’s the epitome of sexiness. Being yourself, under all circumstances, being quietly and gracefully proud of who you are, and being selfless in sharing who you are with the world. That is not merely sexy, but divine.” — Robert Milton Ingram

Have you ever wanted something so badly in life and then didn’t have it your way.. only to realize at a later point that not getting what you wanted was exactly the right thing to happen at that point in time. You realize that you’re a much better and wiser person because of that one incident of deprivation you went through. (And hey, I am not talking about a ‘grapes are sour’ like feeling here!)

And after the suffering you endured, it feels better, much better to have passed that test and you realize you’re a changed person.

It almost seems surreal after everything is in the past, as you think of yourself ‘a crazy, insane lunatic’ to have wanted that thing in first place. It has happened with me many a times. I keep obsessing and fantasizing, and wanting things the way they are in my head.. but life knocks my plans down all the time. When things don’t go my way, I think of it as cruel to have happened to me but then sometime in the future (after weeks or months or an year), the universe reveals it’s rationale to me. That’s when I say to myself, “Oh yeah right! What was I thinking in the first place?”.

Steve Jobs said, “Customers don’t know what they want”.

That’s true for us in real life, too. The truth is, we don’t know what we actually need and what is good for us. Hence, we cling to things or circumstances or people that seem good to us at the moment. But we are meant for more, much more.. and that precisely, is the reason that life drives us to a different direction that’s better for us.

The truth is, it doesn’t get any better! May be life will get worse still, at some point.

But there will be enough moments with your loved ones, or doing what you love all alone, or simply moments when you’re having a good time among people that will make you get through all of it. And may be you’ll even feel it’s all worth it after all.. so suck it up!!

Don’t bother about others opinion of you.

Do something new, go places you’ve never gone, talk to strangers and life will seem beautiful all over again. Because hey, it’s not like anyone has any better formula to life!!

Life is not just about that one moment, thing, person that matters (mattered) to you! Life is much more than that..life has a better plan for us than we could plan for ourselves. And as long as one believes in that, we can get thro’ no matter what.

Love this song by Eels! (The video is hilarious too.)

Do you know what it’s like to fall on the floor
And cry your guts out ’til you got no more
Hey man now you’re really living

Have you ever made love to a beautiful girl
Made you feel like it’s not such a bad world
Hey man now you’re really living

Now you’re really giving everything
And you’re really getting all you gave
Now you’re really living what
This life is all about

“Creative work is often driven by pain. It may be that if you don’t have something in the back of your head driving you nuts, you may not do anything. It’s not a good arrangement. If I were God, I wouldn’t have done it that way.” ― Cormac McCarthy

The well-known American author Cormac McCarthy mentioned this in his interview to Wall Street Journal in 2009, when quizzed about his writing work and sources from where he draws his inspiration. There has been an ongoing debate forever now, on the co-relation between pain and creativity and many believe that they – suffering and art – are directly co-related. In a sense, the greater the pain one suffers in life at some point of time leads to higher manifestations of those painful emotions into creative works of art.

As crazy as it may sound, it is true for a large number of musical geniuses of the world too. If you’re a music aficionado like me, you’ve definitely heard of the 27 Club – greatest musicians of the world who died only at the age of 27, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, to name a few. Of course many of these were accidental deaths, though basically led by disturbed mental condition or substance abuse habits.

For the record, I believe in wishful thinking and consider myself a shameless optimist. And not to take any credit away from those creative artists and people who have their creative juices flowing even in a happy state of mind and produce amazing results. I am myself in a creative writing and designing job, and I am not a drug addict, not yet!! But I also think it is kind of sad that so much of exemplary creative work -art, music, writings and poetry- in the world is a result of the pain and suffering, endured by these talented artistic souls.

I asked “What about my eyes?”

God said “Keep them on the road”.

I asked “What about my passion?”

God said, “Keep it burning.”

I asked “What about my heart?”

God said, “Tell me what you hold inside it?

I replied “Pain and sorrow.”

He said, “Stay with it. The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

Centuries before McCarthy gave that interview to Wall Street Journal and was even alive, Rumi the Persian poet wrote the above lines. May be it might be that true wisdom comes from pain and suffering and hence, the creativity that emerges from that wisdom is pure, honest and inspiring!

Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time. ― Maya Angelou (April 4 1928 – May 28 2014)

Today marks a sad day in the global literary field as a prominent author and a huge inspiration to readers like me passed away. Yes, I’m talking about Maya Angelou, the famous American writer. I have always been inspired by her writings and her optimism.

The lines quoted above are among my personal favorite. I first came across these lines as a marketing student studying about how customer experiences register with customers, and why it is important to create memorable moments for them. But these are true for life in general as well — for when you remember a person, most of the times its is because of the way they made you feel though you hardly ever remember the exact things they said!

Maya Angelou – Rest in peace, power to you and your words! Here’s another one. Source – Mashable.

Belief is a loaded word! Belief or faith carries a huge weight in our lives.

The whole world revolves around belief, the belief in the greater goodness and the hope that good times would embrace us in future. As much as we talk about living in the moment and enjoying each day to the fullest, the truth is – the strong belief of a better tomorrow drives that strength to carry on and face each day with a smile knowing that failure or bad news may just be a day away. It won’t be wrong to say that our believes pretty much guide our lives.

I may be a hardcore and shameless optimist, self-proclaimed philosopher and the queen of wishful thinking! But everyone has those grey moments of self-doubt, when you question your own existence and the rationale behind your beliefs. When every single development around you tells you that it was all wrong in the first place. (yeah, you can definitely tell I am having those self-doubts again 😛 )

Learning not to believe once your belief fails you, is not a sign of strength. To believe again knowing the risks, therein lies the thrill. Never stop believing!!

And till your belief comes true, you can pretend that your ship’s not sinking.. love this song from Pretty Woman soundtrack.

Real happiness doesn’t know any boundaries of reasons and it needs no explanation. It lies within oneself and finally, all comes down to the “glass half full or half empty” attitude in life.

More often than not, in life all of us have reasons to smile, more than one or two or three reasons. It’s incredible though how conveniently we choose to ignore these reasons, even forget them and focus on what we don’t have. The “have nots” in life will always outweigh the “haves”. It’s the simple ‘law of scarcity’ in economics!!

In the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic, the main character justifies her impulsive buying behavior saying, “When I shop, the world gets better, and the world is better, but then it’s not, and I need to do it again.” Anything that seems out of our bounds and limits is desirable. Amazing as it is.. the jubilation of attaining that – what is desired – is short lived and fizzles out, evaporates in thin air. Now you know why I always say, Life is “funny” all the time. 🙂

The traditional mindset that happiness always inter-relates with a reason is not false, but it is definitely not for the long run. We don’t realize the amount of time, effort, energy we give up on waiting for happiness to knock on our door – that car I never had, the branded shoe I couldn’t buy, the job I am planning to take up, and the list is endless. Real happiness lies in smiling at simplest joys of nature and life, not worrying about how tomorrow’s gonna look like. If one can do that everyday of their life.. then you have lived fully, each and every moment of everyday. Some wishful thinking that is, huh!!

But hey, we all are work in progress! And most of us even in our busy schedules find out a reason to smile at something completely irrelevant to us, or simply appreciate nature. It’s not too hard! Agreed that happiness without a reason, is easier said than done – an idealistic scenario. Even as I write this, one part of my brain simply can’t stop thinking about the current impending concerns of my life. The demons inside us come back to haunt us sooner or later.

“The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.” – George Bernard Shaw

I find a lot of debate going on about this particular quote by GB Shaw and whom he considered or portrayed as superior in this statement. The ‘drunken man’ is ‘happy’ because he knows no tomorrow and ‘believes’, but is illogical and irrational at the same time considering his inebriated state. While, the ‘skeptic’ is more ‘sober’ and rational. This is the general belief. I have a different take on this! A ‘believer’ is ‘happy’ as he is an optimist and refuses to acknowledge that his belief would fail him. (Simply, discarding the believer because it equates with the drunken state of mind is not acceptable to me.)

More often that not, that belief is what would make everything fall in place – however, the means to achieve may differ. I am not propagating here that we start believing life is a fairy tale. But we can definitely believe that we can make it to be one, in our own way. Reality is far more interesting than a fairy tale.

The word confidence makes me slightly nervous, for I have never really understood its meaning. Yeah alright, I know the dictionary meaning which probably is the state of being certain about one’s actions, decisions, etc.

But when someone wants to know if I am a confident person, or if I am confident about an idea, decision..well, it makes my heart sink a bit. What if, I am wrong at the end! Yeah, now you know.. I get intimidated easily, at least in my mind if not on the exterior. But so do most of the people, don’t they! (At least, my experience with the world so far tells me that.)

Everyday we live fearing the consequences of our own decisions on our future, or others around us. Everyday we have to put on a tough and smiling exterior to show the world that we are confident, when inside we have no idea what’s gonna happen the next second. At workplace or personal space, any decision that you take ain’t gonna come with a guarantee.

Everyday we fear that others might realize that we have absolutely no idea what we’re doing and that we’re gonna be exposed. For me, I constantly live dreading the day when someone with a lot of might will tell me at my face,“Bugger off kiddo, you are a good for nothing, brainless idiot.” And you know what, the amazing part is it may have happened to me already a couple of times, although the words used were different but more or less meant the same thing. (I am not making a very good impression here, am I! :D) The point to be noted here is that I survived and I am proud of it, not so much proud of being brainless though.

The other day I was discussing with a close friend of mine on how important it is to believe in yourself and where does that belief come from. Well, over the years I have realized that self-belief is a divine and special feeling, that moment when you know that you’re gonna be in the safe zone no matter what! For me personally, that self belief comes from my worldly knowledge and experience so far, engaging in general good practices, being sincere and apolitical. After all, there is no unselfish act and you can expect good for yourself when you’re good. That’s where my teeny weeny confidence comes from, if you would ask me. Nevertheless, unfortunate incidents of being exposed may still happen. (Blame it on your Karma 🙂 )

“Be brave, take risks! Nothing can substitute experience.” ~ Paulo Coelho …… That’s another way of looking at it. The thought of learning something new and trying something different should make one more confident in daily lives. But there’s a catch to it, especially when you don’t want things to go wrong, in case the decisions can be life changing ones.

“Everyday I fight for all my future somethings A thousand little wars I have to choose between I could spend a lifetime earning things I don’t need That’s like chasing rainbows and coming home empty And if you strip me, strip it all away If you strip me, what would you find If you strip me, strip it all away I’ll be alright Take what you want steal my pride Build me up or cut me down to size Shut me out but I’ll just scream I’m only one voice in a million But you ain’t taking that from me..”

When I started penning this post on confidence sometime back, I stumbled upon this beautiful piece written by a fellow WordPresser featured on Freshly Pressed. Some of the ideas in this post are inspired from her post. What my 20s Taught Me: Everyone’s faking it