09. Replace words with onomatopoeia. A phone call should be called “beep beep beep beep beep beep beep”, with an extra ‘beep’ if it’s a long distance call. MTV should be called the sound you make when you vomit.

10. Measure a person’s height in their own foot length.

11. Come up with more relevant people to name our days after.

12. Stop singing the Jeopardy theme while someone is thinking.

13. Invent bathroom doorknobs that only open if a person’s hand is wet.

14. Invent bathroom doorknobs that only open if a person’s hand is wet WITH WATER!

15. Be thankful everyday of your life that you don’t have to draw cover-pages for projects anymore.