Top Reality TV Moments for the Week of May 23-29

Each week our team of writers compiles the most memorable moments in reality TV. Enjoy, and don't forget to vote in this week's POLL

Stupid Tosser.
Bo Bice and Carrie Underwood were all poised ready to see who would sing first or second on the final performance show of this season’s American Idol.
Instead of a sudden death “rock, paper, scissors”, Ryan unveiled a specially minted coin with Carrie’s image on one side and Bo’s on the other.
Ryan threw the coin, flubbed the catch and watched as the coin hit the ground and roll into a never before seen grate in the floor that he had positioned himself behind, obviously tempting fate and praying for a hilarious result.
We watched as Ryan furiously pawed at the grate in a bid to retrieve the coin all the while pulling a none-too convincing shocked expression. Eventually a crack team of mystery men arrived to help the feeble host with the grate and return the coin to him following this unfortunate “accident”.
Good job they give “Walk Of Fame” stars for personality Ryan, you’d have a long wait to earn one for acting.

Let’s Talk About Sex Again...and Again...and Again.
We were introduced to Kevin this week, Brittney’s now husband, on Britney and Kevin: Chaotic.It really wasn’t worth the wait.
Grotty and grungy-looking Kevin fell instantly in step with Britney and her penchant for mentioning sex whenever possible, even though the thought of these two great unwashed going at it could hardly be a turn on for even the most potent young teenager.
Kevin’s ease around Britney and her entourage nearly became his downfall though when he got too lippy in front of her large bodyguard, who proceeded to sit on him until he promised to behave. If this dire show continues, hopefully we’ll see Kevin on the losing end of more face-offs with the body guard and less sex talk before we all have to take our TV’s for treatment at the STD clinic.

It's Official, Somebody Somewhere Hates Babyface.
It was a first for American Idol, the top 12 contestants got to sing with their Idols and Babyface suffered the severest punishment known to man.
He either drew the short straw or is paying penance for some deadly deed that his lovely face makes it impossible to believe he could have committed, but Babyface was somehow teamed with the Mikalah and Lindsey for a rendition of a barely recognizable song on Wednesdays AI4 finale.
He gamely smiled throughout the performance, sandwiched between the attractive young women and even managed to stay in tune and on pitch despite their distracting caterwauling.
Don’t fear a repeat of the dreadful duet concertgoers, Mikalah and Lindsey’s 11th and 12th place finishes means they don’t get to tour with the rest of the finalists this summer.
Should AI producers intend to unleash a celebrity/contestant medley on us in the future lets hope any contestants of Lindsey and Mikalah’s standards get to “la la la” along with Kenny G.

King Cobra.The Contender finished it’s run this week with the title and $1m payday going to Latin Snake Sergio Mora. Despite losing his cool and trash-talking with opponent Peter Manfredo’s corner during the fight, Sergio regained his composure and went on to score a unanimous points victory to round out the critically acclaimed but under-promoted series.
NBC has confirmed that there will be no second series, so now seems the perfect time to praise the dedication of all the athletes who took part and thank them for weeks of solid entertainment.
As a thank you for all her hard work raising him and his siblings, Sergio intends to use his purse to see to it that his mother never has to work again.
Taxes will take a large bite out of his check, but there is enough left that Mrs. Mora should be able to relax and put her feet up for a while courtesy of her talented son.

There is Crying About Baseball
Boston Rob may have been able to wisecrack his way through two versions of Survivor and one of The Amazing Race, but he was completely undone by Amber's surprise wedding present of a painting of the Red Sox World Series victory during CBS's "special" presentation of Rob and Amber Get Married. Mind you, it wasn't his first reaction when she revealed the gift. First, he dwelled on the fact that Amber had been to Spring Training where he'd never been in order to get the painting autographed by some of the players. Once he got over that, he blubbered like a baby. Amber must have felt hauling that big ass and somewhat less than tasteful painting from the artist's studio to a shipping place and around Fort Myers with her sister was well worth the trouble. Her man greatly appreciated that she was williing to have a Red Sox shrine dominate one wall of the new home he and some friends personally decorated for her. He's probably already worn out the videotape of the players signing the painting where they showed delight when they learned who it was for.

Stand By Your Judge
You'd have to be living under a rock to have avoided the contraversy surrounding American Idol judge and former contestent and current has-been, Corey Clark. Rather than go with the standard boring filler, the American Idol producers got creative on the finale and opted for a skit, satirizing the ABC Primetime Expose that launched the controversy. In it, Randy starred as the one time contestant, mocking the pitches for the CD and book that Clark tried to sell in each of his many appearances. Corey Clark may not have found the humor in it, but the American Idol producers are clearly not afraid to show they support their favorite airhead.

Someone Forgot To Invite "Tacky".
Only one dress instead of two, no million dollar shoes, no thousands of dollars worth of flowers, no baby talk and no pink … and more pink… and more pink.
What the hell kind of reality TV wedding was it?
On Rob and Amber Get Married, our now favourite multiple show reality TV couple wed in tasteful style.
The bride wore a beautiful, understated dress, made a by a family friend in her hometown. The bridesmaids echoed the ocean of the beach wedding setting in beautiful teal and the groom and his buddies looked cool, casual, yet still coordinated in unmatched outfits in various cream, tan and beige combinations.
Rob and Amber showed that getting your wedding paid for by a network is no excuse to go ostentatious and mercifully didn’t “Tristafy” their nuptials.
Congratulations “Romber”, you did it with class and thanks to you viewers might even be able to stomach a future televised reality wedding ceremony.
Well, depending on who it is. . . so don't go getting any ideas Morasca.

Many thanks to the writers that contributed this week. In alphabetical order, Fluff, Mariner & Miss Filangi