Jake's Corner

KIM KARDASHIAN is no stranger to short marriages. But the odds that she and KANYE WEST will make it are pretty good. At least until the end of next year. "Entertainment Weekly" asked a bookie for the odds that Kim and Kanye will still be together by December 31st, 2015. He gave them 5 to 1 odds they'd stay together . . . and only 1 to 10 odds they'd split up. But he only gave BEYONCÉ and JAY Z 3 to 2 odds. Probably because of Jay's recent elevator fight with her sister.

GEORGE CLOONEY and Amal Alamuddin will reportedly get married at Highclere Castle, the setting for the TV show "Downton Abbey". Sources say Amal is a huge fan of the show, and George arranged a private tour for them. After seeing how much she loved the place, he booked it for the wedding. A wedding there costs upwards of $24,000.

The lady who sat next to EMMA WATSON when she graduated from Brown University in Rhode Island this past weekend looked a little older than the other grads. And that's because she wasn't a graduate at all. She was Emma's SECURITY GUARD . . . but she was INCOGNITO in her very own cap and gown. After the ceremony, the woman took off her disguise, and revealed her UTILITY BELT, which was equipped with a badge, a walkie talkie, mace and some other holsters. It's not clear if she was PACKING HEAT.

BILL MURRAY crashed a bachelor party at a steakhouse in South Carolina over the weekend. And he gave this advice on how to find out if you're with the right person: "Take that person and travel around the world . . . And if when you come back to JFK, when you land in JFK, and you're still in love with that person, get married at the airport."

Kim Kardashian's brother ROB KARDASHIAN arrived in Paris last week with the rest of his family, but he skipped the rehearsal dinner Friday night, then got on a plane for L.A. before the wedding even started on Saturday. Sources say it's because he's ashamed of his WEIGHT and didn't want to be in any family photos. Apparently, everyone was trying to talk him down off that ledge and he got defensive to the point that he decided to take off. But that may be the OPPOSITE of what happened. Another source says that Rob left because Kim was mad at him for not trying hard enough to lose weight before her wedding.

PATRICK SWAYZE'S widow LISA NIEMI got remarried on Sunday in Palm Beach, Florida. Her new husband is a jeweler named Albert DePrisco. He's 58, Lisa is 57. They met through mutual friends and dated for more than a year before getting engaged this past December. Lisa was married to Patrick for 34 years, before he died of pancreatic cancer in 2009.

JIM CARREY gave the commencement speech at a college in Ohio over the weekend. He told the kids, quote, "What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we never ask the universe for it. I'm saying I'm the proof that you can ask the universe for it. And if it doesn't happen for you right away, it's only because the universe is so busy fulfilling my order."

JUSTIN BIEBER donated $545,000 at a charity event Saturday night that was raising money for AIDS research. He also took a picture where it looked like he was grabbing HEIDI KLUM'S boob. But Heidi said, quote, "He was totally not touching me . . . He's very polite and very nice."

"Maxim" has released their complete Hot 100, and this year, the top spot went to South African model Candice Swanepoel. The rest of the top five is: Scarlett Johansson, Katy Perry, Irina Shayk and Jennifer Lawrence.

KIM KARDASHIAN'S aunt Karen Houghton could be in Paris this weekend watching Kim get hitched to KANYE WEST, but she decided to skip it for two reasons . . . First, there are wildfires in Southern California that are threatening her neighborhood . . . plus she's already seen Kim get married TWICE before.

CHARLIE SHEEN has started a feud with RIHANNA after she refused to meet his fiancée, while they were both at the same restaurant on Wednesday. Charlie called her "the Village Idiot" in a long Twitter rant . . . Rihanna dismissed him as an "old queen" . . . and Charlie kept it going by thanking her for recognizing his "royalty."

A 29-year-old Romanian man tried to break into GEORGE CLOONEY'S villa in Lake Como, Italy. He didn't get in, but he did find a bottle of wine in a "small alcove" in the garden. Unfortunately, one of George's employees saw the man and called police. The guy tried to attack the cops with the bottle, but they took him down and hauled him in.

In a new interview with "People" magazine, ELIN NORDEGREN says she was "devastated" when she found out her husband TIGER WOODS was messing around. But she's "moved on" and she's even happy he's with LINDSEY VONN. She says, quote, "Our relationship is centered around our children, and we are doing really good, we really are. He is a great father. "I'm happy for Tiger. In general, in any kind of stepparent relationship, I'm happy that there's somebody else loving my children."

ANGELINA JOLIE may have taken a shot at GWYNETH PALTROW for claiming she has it harder than the average mom. Without mentioning Gwyneth by name, Angelina says, quote, "I'm in a rare position where I don't have to do job after job. I can take time when my family needs it. I actually feel that women in my position, when we have all at our disposal to help us, shouldn't complain."

What finally set Robert Downey Junior on the path to sobriety and a career resurgence? The answer will probably surprise you. In a new interview, Robert says he made the breakthrough in 2003 after he was driving a car filled with "tons of dope" and decided to stop for a hamburger. He says, "I have to thank Burger King. It was such a disgusting burger I ordered. I had that, and this big soda, and I thought something really bad was going to happen." Downey says he then threw all of his drugs into the ocean and decided at that moment to get clean.

The not-always-reliable British tabloids say that GEORGE CLOONEY has chosen MATT DAMON to be his best man . . . rather than BRAD PITT. A source says, quote, "A lot of people thought Brad was a certainty to be George's best man because they have been such good friends for years. But he is probably even closer to Matt. Brad took the news with good grace . . . but he did say he'd heckle Matt during his speech.''

KIM KARDASHIAN'S last-minute wedding preparations include a $550 STEM CELL FACIAL. Don't worry . . . no unborn babies were harmed. These were VEGAN stem cells from a marine plant. They're supposed to firm and lift the skin. Also, still no official word whether Kim and KANYE WEST are getting married in Paris or Florence, by the way. But a British tabloid says LANA DEL REY has agreed to perform. Kanye wanted her to perform at the proposal, but she turned him down.

Last month, KHLOE and KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN got CONFETTI-BOMBED by some weird dude named Richie the Barber. He's an actual barber, but he also juggles and rides a unicycle. And he has clown makeup TATTOOED on his face. Well, the girls reported the incident to police, who basically laughed it off. But a few days ago they called the cops to follow up, and said they want BATTERY charges pressed against Richie. Sources say that's not likely to happen.

This probably isn't true, but Radar Online says WILL SMITH and JADA PINKETT are being investigated by Child Protective Services over that picture of their daughter WILLOW on a bed with a shirtless, 20-year-old guy.