Musings on life and love

Nap time

The house is calm as both kids are in their rooms. After tossing and turning Isannah gently closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep. Giovanni couldn’t find his calm and continued to toss and turn. At times getting up to rest his head on the crib bars. He kept searching for something and my heart began to ache for his restlessness. I watched as he tried to put himself to sleep but couldn’t find his comfort zone. After a few more rolls, stand-ups and head rests I walked in the room. He calmly looked up at me and with the sweetest soft voice said, “hi”. I helped him get under his blanket as I softly rubbed his head and cheek until I heard his deep breath release. I let his hand go and sat on the lazy boy behind him just to be sure he was asleep. Sitting on that chair reminded me of the sleepless nights I sat and breastfed these two miracle babies. I was taken back to a time of fear, no sleep and uncertainty of the days that would come. I remember being so afraid of not knowing the mother I would be and if I could be the mother that Giovanni and Isannah needed. So many emotions go through your mind while starting the journey of motherhood. Gio took another deep breathe and I was brought back to the here and now and began to smile. I smiled listening to Gio and Isa softly breathing and knowing that we all found our place and way through this family.