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NOTE: Illustrations appear only in the paperback and Microsoft versions of this novel.

"You're not just having a dream, the dream has you." Is it just a computer game? Or something more sinister?

The lonely Alice Underland has always felt physically undesirable. She spends all her spare time surfing the web, playing video games and watching old movies. When a chat line buddy sends her a program to download, she thinks it's just a silly computer game. Soon she discovers that her dreams are becoming too vivid, sexual and terrifying, and her waking life is beginning to echo her dreams in disturbing ways. She changes physically as well, becoming as strong and beautiful as her dream self. She dreams that she has been captured and tortured by three male agents who seek a computer disk. Now she wonders if her computer friend has accidentally placed her in real danger, as cells, chains and sexual abuse become a part of her everyday life.

Alice isn't sure if she has been confined in a mental hospital or existing with androgynous demons. Even the sympathetic female therapist who promises to help Alice may have a secret and sinister agenda. Trapped in an endless series of dreams, Alice doesn't know who to trust, or what is real, as her life becomes a downward spiral into hell. Is there any way out?

This dark and steamy tale details a feast of graphic Bdsm activity, including scenes of male and female domination, dungeons, bondage, pain, torture, nipple clamps, confessions, whips and bamboo canes, as well as graphic anal discipline.

An earlier version of this novel was published in the UK in the 1990s. This version has been significantly expanded from the original

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Excerpt

“Dreams are the mind’s way of sorting things out,” Dr. Deluse explained. “The subconscious keeps on working all the time. Sometimes it offers us solutions to problems through dreams or confronts us with the fears we deny while awake. The false reality of dreams brings us symbols, forgotten memories, even premonitions. Our dreams tell us who we are.”
“So what does my dream tell you?” asked Alice.
Dr. Deluse pondered this, tapping a pencil against her teeth. “I think that you are lonely. You want more excitement and romance in your life. You want to be beautiful and desired.”
Alice sniffed. “Who doesn’t want all of those things?”
Dr Deluse laughed, displaying strong, sharp teeth.
“You’re right, of course, but most people find at least some of the things they seek. I think that you feel ugly and unloved.”
“Let’s be real,” said Alice bitterly. “I am ugly.”
“Not really. Stand up straight and smile. Do something with that hair,” she laughed to soften the edge of her criticism. “Maybe you don’t have the figure of a runway model, but you would be surprised at how many people find a woman attractive when she has a little meat on her bones.”
Like Dr. Prober, she was laying the blame on Alice, yet somehow, the advice seemed more helpful coming from her. She made Alice feel almost optimistic.
“What else does my dream tell you?” she asked.
“It shows me that you have an active and vivid imagination. Do you dream in color?”
“Of course, doesn’t everyone?”
The doctor shook her head. “No, it’s rather uncommon. Do you ever have lucid dreams? What I mean is, are you aware that you are dreaming during your dreams?”
Alice thought a moment. “Sometimes. Once in awhile I feel myself waking, and I force myself back to sleep so that I can finish the dream.” Too late, she realized what she was admitting, that sleep was preferable to her dreary waking life.
The doctor seemed excited by this news and turned to her desk to seize a clipboard and scribble a note to herself. Writing, she said, “I am affiliated with a clinic in Boston where they do dream research. Would you be interested in going there as a research volunteer?”
“This isn’t your way of getting me to commit myself?” Alice joked.
“Is this some deep seated fear we’re talking about here?” asked the doctor. “Do you have an obsessive aversion to men in white coats?”
Then, seeing that Alice’s face suddenly fell, the doctor favored her with another of her easy laughs holding up her hands to signal a time out. “Hey! Just kidding, okay? I really do need volunteers though, and I promise that nothing painful or embarrassing will happen to you there. I could even arrange time off for you—with pay.” There was something coy in her voice that made Alice suspicious.
“I don’t think so” Alice demurred.
Dr. Deluse just shrugged. “Think it over. It could be fun. Would you mind scheduling another visit next week? You may be suffering from depression, and I can help you with it.”