Some days, I have wondered why I keep it up. The internet, for all it's knowledge and unicorn-like sparkle, can be a very mean place. People grab hold of the anonymity offered by the vast webs of the inter-realm and they speak their minds. Sometimes they do this without losing their kindness, but very often, they don't care who they hurt. Humans are a mean bunch sometimes. Fact.

I have personally been very lucky as far as internet meanness is concerned, with the nasty comments being kept to the bare minimum. Sometimes the hurtful comments came from people closer to me, which probably stings even harder. This writing thing, after all, isn't a REAL job. Publishing novels in a fantasy / sci-fi type genre with monsters and weird things are frowned upon by some, claiming my Christianity can't remain in tact with these kinds of writings. (Which it has and it will. Because Christians can have imaginations and love fantastical worlds and magical things too. But that's a topic for another day.) And being a stay at home mom has become shunned by working moms, which means that this home-hugging that I do isn't the most popular choice. Especially considering I was unemployed before I had Kayla too. I've faced a lot of scrutiny due to my life choices.

But blogging and writing can be difficult too.

I've sat in front of the computer and stared at the keyboard, not having a clue what to type, many times. 'I need to blog, but I don't know about what.', I'd say and my hubby would either be my saving grace and come up with a brilliant idea, or just not know how to reply. At those times, the keyboard staring and internet scouring for inspiration would continue until something bloggable is found.

Having said all of that, I couldn't stop, even if I tried.

When I took my little hiatus last year, I actually missed the blogging. The Song of War had just been completed then, so I really had nothing to write about. Sure, just after Kayla's birth I was too friggen busy to be worried about writing, because, let's face it, newborn babies and parents have a lot of adapting to do. But when we started to find our groove with Kayla, I really had a gap in my day that I needed to fill with writing.

This blog happened at a time when I felt pretty low. And writing it gave me purpose again. The blogging led to meeting and connecting with people around the globe, which is amazing. And the writing got me so far as to write a novel. Which led to another novel, a novella and another flipping novel (which has yet to be named...). THAT'S THE MOST AMAZING THING!

I feel fulfilled when I write. I feel like this is EXACTLY what I'm supposed to do. I invest copious amounts of my soul into getting stuff onto the screen, whether it be my characters or putting a well thought out blog post into the world. Storylines and blog topics keep me awake at night, sometimes because I don't have them, and other times because they are so abundant. It's constantly on my lips, constantly in my mind and constantly what I stress about. And people who know me know how passionately I can talk about both my blog and my novels. Endlessly, really.

It's just that I get so excited! I get excited about people's reactions to my writing, I get excited about discussing it with them and I get excited even about the idea of writing.

I love it. Do you get that? I LOVE WRITING.

And I'll never give it up. For as long as I can do it, I will. Full stop.

Stay beautiful and be kind to animals. And writers. Be kind to writers.