Dogs deserve more civilized treatment

Saturday

Feb 2, 2013 at 4:30 AM

Stephen BlackOn Borrowed Time

Do you love dogs? If so, at election time here is some information for you to think about:Two Hendersonville City Council seats will be up for grabs. Jeff Collis and Ralph Freeman will be a couple of candidates. I like both men, but neither of the two is against the brutal chaining of dogs! I repeat, neither Collis or Freeman sees anything wrong with the chaining of dogs. I part company with that.If we are ever to bring a civilized attitude toward animals to our City Council, then these men must not be on it.Here is an anonymous quote about dogs I want to leave with all of you. Please think about it and pray for all the abused animals in our Hooterville area. Vote no to Collis and Freeman when that time comes around. "It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart."If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are."Pray for the animals — pray without ceasing.u u uCome one! Come all! Hold out your hat and county government will be glad to fill it up with money! All you have to do is ask!Yes, friends, I see where Blue Ridge Community College is going to ask for some big bucks. I also see where commissioners just finished doling out their pledge of $50,000 to Flat Rock Playhouse.Hmmm? Anybody else out there in the land need some shekels? Why, just line up at the county coffers. Why not? What with county commissioners shoveling money out the door faster than we can print it, you can't lose!Dearly beloved, the next time Election Day comes around, let us remember those commissioners who treated our tax money so cavalierly.u u uDadburn it! I missed it again! Every year I foul up! You see, once a year the public health department has its Be Active Day. This year, it was Jan. 26. I read the notice that said participants can "move their bodies with hula hoops, balls and Frisbees."Here is my problem. After reading the notice about all that jumping, twirling and jiving ... well, I was so tired I simply drank a beer and took a nap on the couch.I dreamed for three solid hours that I was exercising with Richard Simmons as my personal trainer. Folks, you talk about exercising — I did it. Running, bouncing, throwing the medicine ball, pushups, jumping jacks and all the high-speed music!Whew! I woke up drenched in sweat, but I was a new man! I felt great! I will never make fun of exercise again. It is true what the health experts say — exercise is the best medicine we can utilize in order to stay on this side of the grass.I highly recommend a complete regimen of exercise. For others, I mean. I myself will attend Be Active Day next year for sure, for sure. And that is a promise, cross my heart and hope to spit! See ya there, everybody!u u uAmazing! The city of Hendersonville is actually going to study recommendations from downtown merchants in its survey on how to make city festivals better. Well, finally!Here is a recommendation: Quit having them. I'm so sick and tired of having to drive all over hellenhaffageorgia in order to simply cross town.Most "city fests" are just pocket robbers anyway. A "fest" is used as an excuse by parents who are otherwise too busy to pay attention to little Junior's life. They will take their squalling brat to an official festival and spend three hours having "quality time" with him. They will buy him a roasted turkey leg that weighs more than he does. He will take two bites and throw it in the bushes. The same bush where the parents threw away their wretched funnel cakes.By the end of quality time, Junior had been hollered at, smacked, threatened, and the parents are ready to start divorce proceedings. Festivals? Bah, humbug!