Okay..................the story itself is very good though you could use more details and what`s with the slashes? You don`t need them and they make the story harder to read. Also you should seperate the paragraphs better that would make it easier to follow. Sooooooo my suggestions are get rid of the slash marks, add more details, and seperate it into smaller paragraphs. Also update soon I can`t wait to find out what happens.