Santa Catarina is a tiny state located on the southern portion of Brazil. It's home to one of the biggest European settlements in South America, grouping italians, germans, nazis, poles, Pokémon and portuguese fishermen. Due to the incredible amount of hot, single women running naked on the beaches, Santa Catarina attracts flocks of migrants (see Northern Scum) to its territory, in hopes of earning a decent living and screwing a blue-eyed blond. Mostly, they end up in the Limbo, located somewhere on the western lands. Evil-pokémons are being blamed. Your mom might be involved as well, although she was with me last night and it didn't appear as she was plotting a world domination plan.

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Before the europeans arrived, indians occupied the territory, collecting vegetables, running naked on the beach and just chillin'. The portuguese arrived in the XVI century with the intent to find gold. Since none was found, they proceeded to their secondary goal, which was to spread their Christian faith. They had success: Almost all naked indians running on the beach were torched in bonfires. Charmander aledgelly came out from limbo to ignite the flames. The ones who escaped inquisition died from Venereal diseases, by being ass-fucked by horny portuguese semen's seamens.

The 7 little indians that remained alive were caught by the limbo. Evil-Bulbassaur was held responsible.

For centuries no one occupied the present territory. The spanish invaded in 1674, but found all the indians already torched and left disappointed. The Royal Navy, in their never-ending quest to add more land to the empire and thus staying away from their butt-uglyenglish wives, attacked in 1745. No cute indians running naked were found to amuse the crew, no frenchmen were there to surrender, thus causing the brits to sail to the Falklands instead, much for the delight or argentines.

In the XIX century, a ship filled with drunk germans got lost while sailing to Ibiza. Upon arriving in the present territory of the state, they saw that the beaches were beautiful, with a great potential for running-nakedness, just like the Baleares during spring-break. They decided to start the first settlement, by opening some beer kegs and eating blood-sausage. Love parade on the beach was a sucess, and two months later, after discharge from the hospital, the survivors founded the city of Blumenau.

Life was good on the colony, but vacations were a little dull. So, in the beginning of the XX century the germans imported some italians to build a few cities too. This way, they could run naked and open kegs and eat blood-sausage in the beach, without making a mess in their oh so pretty and clean towns. The Poles were next, in order to supply the colonies with plumbers.

In World War II, the catarinas joined the Axis, being very successful in the battlefield, conquering Rio de Janeiro, São Paulo, Buenos Aires, Paris, Warsaw and the Falklands. However, the whole campaign crumbled in a counter-attack on the flank being guarded by the damn italians, who were cooking a great pasta and arguing while fucking some austrian chicks, instead of watching the line. Powertuguese fishermen were forced by the armistice to surrender their hooks, and were finally defeated by the X-men, with help of evil-pokémon, which ended the war.

As of today, Santa Catarina struggles to mantain its traditions, like running naked on the beach, opening a keg and eating blood sausage with friends, killing whales, penguins and sheep, having lascivious relations with your mom, enslaving powertuguese fishermen without weapons and glazing at the limbo at sunset.

Catarina politicians are all be Nazis. However, the goose-walk is subject of much mockery in the National Parliament, causing the congressmen to become bitter and vingative. In a freudian twist of the Ego-Id system, all catarina politicians become incredibly horny. Only, instead of you, your mom or the ole wifey, they lust your patience.

All political power within the State is held by the Führer. You cannot disagree with him, otherwise you'll be thrown in the limbo and fed to the evil-pokemons. This is a much-awaited spectacle for the population, who gather at the gates of limbo to see the bloodshed. The ritual is often preceded by feeding christians to lions, or to powertuguese fishermen with forks (recent agreements have beem successful in restoring full-mutantship to the fishermen, after their alliance with Professor Xavier.)

This series of moutains mantain the Nazis and the Powertuguese fishermen with forks apart, thus preventing World War IV. From the top of the highest summits one can glimpse over the limbo. It is the last thing one will ever see, since evil-pikachu launches an attack on the poor bastard, leaving him blind and missing one testicle.

A long compromise exist with the inhabitants of the southernmost state of Brazil, North Argentina: Every year, northern argentine women of age come to Santa Catarina to procriate. Since north argentine men are all homossexual, this is a long lasting tradition that ensures the continuation of north argentine people, and numerous jokes about their preferences.

Much tension exist between the racial groups in Santa Catarina. Italians accuse powertuguese fishermen with guns that shoot forks (newest upgrade) of fishing the wrong type of fish just to ruin their pasta, and zermans claim they don't clean up after butchering X men, and zis make zee zermans vreak-ouch! Powertuguese claim italians are too noisy and send fish away, polish complain about being locked in a POW camp for so long, and the evil-pokémon never complain, when threatened or having a bad hair day, they just come out of the limbo and start a little genocide. The only peaceful people seems to be the nazis, since they don't like anyone, and no one likes them, just like the french.

African-Catarina culture, although present, is not as strong as in other brazilian states. It appears that the homies ain't like da cold, yo! Shizz dawg, a split! Da'hood here's waaaay to cold. Bahia is better! Carnival and Samba are highly regarded though, being a commom excuse for casual sex in february.

Maradona, one of the most controversial players in football history. To this day, many still believe he wasn't born in Brazil, mainly dut to his unique argentine mullet, even though that is obviously a lie. Anyone who plays a good football (not soccer) is OBVIOUSLY brazilian!

Prussian Blue. There are rumors they may be descendants of northern scum.