This part Hurts the most

by Steffy
(Phoenix, Arizona)

My baby boy is due with in the next few days, im hurting so bad because I lost his dad, my husband on Jan 16 2012 almost 2 months ago.

Cody my Husband wanted to be a daddy so badly, he was so excited to be having a boy! Cody was only 21 years old. On Jan 15th we had finished setting up the nursery and putting together all the furniture- we had our baby shower the day before. Everything was perfect.

Cody was killed at 1:25 am on the 16th of Jan. I am having such a hard time dealing with his death. He was shot 3 times.. I keep thinking about his pain and how his whole entire future is gone because someone else took the liberty of taking his life.

Im so scared to to raise this baby with out him, I dont want to let Cody Down. I miss him so much and can not get him out of my head. I feel like my heart is being squeezed at the thought of never being able to hold and kiss him again.

I want to be a good mother, and I want our baby to know that his dad wanted to have him that he wanted to raise him, I just dont know how to keep Cody alive for my son.

Cody is so alive to me though, He was my bestfriend, My husband, my companion, my partner, he was my soulmate at such a young age of 20 and 21 we were so happy and in love. Together for 4 years and we knew eachother for 6 years. Married for 9 months.

I want to be happy about having my baby but instead I feel sadness because Cody is not here to enjoy such a beautiful moment. Is it wrong to feel joy when I have my son? This part hurts the most Cody will not be there like we planned. Im so broken.

I miss you Cody- I love you Cody our baby is going to be here anyday now and my hurt breaks knowing you wont be there, I hope your in a good place where you can watch over us. I love you Cody and I miss you so much .

Comments for This part Hurts the most

I am so sorry to hear your pain. My son suddenly died on February 11, 2012 and his wife is six months pregnant with their first child. It is heartbreaking. You will know how to keep Cody alive to your child. Saying a prayer for you.

Mar 04, 2012

My Lovely Daddyby: Kate Nehamee

It was a perfectly normal Boxing day in 2010 My mum and nan were makeing dinner and my stepdad was haveing a lie in bed he had emphysema and i was on my dsi xl i had for christmas. when dad woke up mum pointed out he had grey lips he said it did not matter.At 11.00pm i was reading in bed and all a suddon my Mum called out from her room "Mum hurry!" Nan and me hurrying in and My lovely stepdad was there on the floor unconciouswe called a ambulance and after a while they said we have lost him to a heart attack that was just a bit after two years ago and i am nearly 13 now and i still grieve for him. i am so upset that i lost him at 42 when he should of had years ahead of him i love u loads daddy your the best dad ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!