Has anyone lived/vacationed in Hawaii? I would love to go there for my 30th birthday, does anyone have a place they would recommend? We plan on taking our then 8 1/2 month old daughter. We aren't really looking for an all inclusive, since we've done that a few times and things get a little old. I would love any recommendations on any must do's as well!

I don't have a specific all inclusive place since we rented a condo but I think Maui island is wonderful!!!! We spent a week there and it was wonderful and there are so many different places on the island to explore.

ETA: Ok, I just re-read your post and saw you don't want an all inclusive.
I would say rent a car and condo on Maui. You can get a condo and then you have a full kitchen and can save a little on food since you don't have to eat all meals out. We flew in, drove to Costco, near the airport, loaded up, stayed a week. Went to the volcano (not active), went to the lava fields, went to the beach, went to the rain forest, went snorkling, went to the aquarium, there is just so much to do and the island it easy to get around and there are so many different things to see all in driving distance. If you do decide on Maui, PM me and I can give you a few great inside hints.