Slut Shaming, Gender Perceptions

I woke up to upsetting news that went viral on Facebook and other social media platforms. A married woman put up pictures of her husband's alleged mistress (Gift Erabhor) and issued a warning to her to let him go. She rained curses on her and what not. What was even more upsetting was the comments that followed this post on pages and private accounts of most Facebook users. Without investigation or proper evidence, Gift Erabhor became a target for social media bullies. "Whore", 'Husband Snatcher", "Cheap Slut", "God will punish you for stealing another woman's husband " were few of the comments I astonishingly read. I am going to be ruthlessly sincere on this post because I have never being more concerned about our society.

We need to end the culture of shaming women.Time has come when we should begin to hold men accountable for their actions. Not their mistresses..To the lady that posted the disturbing video of her husband's mistress, the only person you should be calling out is your husband for breaking his vows to you and being unfaithful. Challenge him for breaking his promise of loyalty and dedication to you. Does publicly shaming Gift solve the issue? If he is a womanizer or serial cheater, it won't stop with her!A man that wants to be unfaithful will be unfaithful. Slut shaming and societal stigma of women suspected to be mistresses has become a norm and no one is concerned.Do you still not get the point I'm trying to make? Let me explain further.

Beyonce debuted her Album 'Lemonade' which generated controversy about her marriage. And so many people began looking for 'BECKY WITH THE GOOD HAIR' (a woman who was suspected to be Jay Z mistress) . People accused and stalked Rachel Roy, Rita Ora and Rihanna on their social media accounts.My expectations were Jay Z should be blamed if he actually cheated but No! We will make excuses for the man. Say things like 'She seduced him', 'He was tempted', 'He made a mistake', 'Why didn't the mistress leave him alone and refuse? She knows he is married'. Was it the mistress that made a promise to be faithful and to honour you? So why does she take the heat and the man is forgiven? Over time, we see women fighting naked in streets over men, exchanging words, killing each other over a man! Shameful. And yet we wonder the problem with gender perceptions in the world! Women have seen themselves as properties that men acquire and we have unconsciously proven that this is true.

I recently heard a story about a young girl who was attacked and injured in a secondary school because her classmate suspected that the victim was flirting with her boyfriend. Apparently, she called her group of friends (5 teenage girls) who joined her in 'teaching the victim a lesson'. The attack was so gruesome that the victim was hospitalized for 2weeks and almost lost her sight. If teenagers in secondary school have become mentally enslaved to this extent, then we need to worry about the future of our daughters. What are mothers teaching their daughters these days? To fight and beat up women who they see as 'threats' or 'competition' in their relationships? Who ever told us that unhealthy marriages or relationships is a 'do or die affair'? Let alone the one that turn you into a psychotic predator on other women. This has to stop! If I were Gift Erabhor (the alleged mistress), whether or not the accusations are true, I will sue that woman for slut shaming, defamation, violation of privacy and infliction of emotional distress. Let us bring awareness to this crippling culture of slut shaming and condemn it. ​