#5 Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

#6 One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

#7 Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.

#8 Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

#9 Life is a song. Love is the music.

#10 First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

#11 Sometimes the perfect gift is a cheery smile.

#12 Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us.

#13 We need old friends to help us grow old and new friends to help us stay young.

#14 Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.

#15 Dance first. Think later. It's the natural order.

“Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”