Former Rutgers Scarlet Knights head coach Mike Rice reacts during a game in 2012-13. / Jim O'Connor, USA TODAY Sports

by Jerry Carino, USA TODAY Sports

by Jerry Carino, USA TODAY Sports

Mike Rice is finally telling his side of the story, and that side includes a helping of self-examination.

After seven months of radio silence, the former Rutgers basketball coach toldThe New York Times Magazine, "I was an idiot, but I never abused anybody."

In the long-form story, for which reporter Jonathan Mahler spent weeks with Rice starting in June, Rice concludes that the pressure to win on a big stage prompted him to take in-your-face tactics that worked at Robert Morris to the next level.

"My problem became a huge problem, and I never took time out to analyze how I was going about these things," Rice said.

Andy Toole, who succeeded Rice as Robert Morris' head coach, called it "a hard paradox to explain or understand."

"He cares about you so much and he wants you to win, he's willing to go maybe into a gray area with you to motivate you," Toole, a former Christian Brothers Academy standout, told the magazine.

After three losing season at Rutgers, Rice was fired amid national controversy in April when ESPN aired a video montage of him mistreating players during practices.

"A good coach leads his team to water," Rice said. "A great coach leads his team to water and makes them thirsty. I led them to water, put their heads in until I was satisfied with how much they drank."

The 44-year-old Rice, who lives in Little Silver, is back in basketball as an administrator with the Hoop Group, a Neptune-based instructional academy where he worked from 2001-04. His long-term goal is to get back into college coaching.

"The fear is that he won't get another job," basketball rehabilitation guru John Lucas told the magazine. "How long is everything going to be, Mike Rice, the disgraced ex-Rutgers coach?"

Rice has been working with Lucas since May. The magazine reported that Rice, who was captured on tape shouting homophobic slurs at his players, has volunteered his services to the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education network.

"You know how much courage it takes for a kid to come out in high school?" Rice told Mahler, whose piece is titled "The Coach Who Exploded."

"I won't be perfect moving forward, but I've changed," Rice says in the interview, according to ABC News' website. "Having that taken away, your dream job . . . having it done in such a visible way . . . and hurting the people closest to me . . . it changes a person."

The interview will air at 10 p.m. As irony would have it, that's right about when new Rutgers coach Eddie Jordan will be conducting his first postgame press conference following the Scarlet Knights' season-opening game against Florida A&M.