Should I tell him about my disability now or later?

Q. There’s someone I really like on my online dating site? Should I tell him about my disability now or later?
This is probably the trickiest question and unfortunately there isn’t an easy answer.

You’re hoping to find love and build a relationship with someone who is comfortable with your disability. Honesty is an important part of any relationship, so it’s probably best to avoid lying about your disability or deceiving your potential new love.

If a question comes up while you’re chatting or emailing someone you’d like to have a relationship with it’s almost certainly best to be honest about your disability. Other than that you can set your own pace. Some daters like to raise the subject after a few initial emails or phone calls before the first date.

Another advantage of raising the issue of your disability before the first date is that it allows you to filter potential partners and gauge their reaction. If they’re unable to handle your disability at this stage you probably don’t want to waste your time and energy on an awkward coffee date!

It may be that in your case, especially if your disability isn’t immediately obvious, that you prefer to leave it until you’ve met your new love a few more times. But remember, if you’re hoping for a long-term honest romantic relationship it’s important to value such honesty at this early stage.