Tag Archives: Negative People and the Empath

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about addictions. We were discussing the fact there are so many addictions that we are not aware of, or how they impact our lives.

When we think of addictions, we often just think about the ones related to drugs or alcohol, but there are countless more.

We get addicted to wheat, sugar, certain chemicals in foods, caffeine, sports, social media… But the addictions that are quietly destructive to our health and happiness are our addictions to negativity.

The media knows that people have a natural draw towards negativity, because of our negativity bias. They play on this, to keep us coming back to their sites.

I often write about the importance of Empaths avoiding media outlets because of the strife it stirs up, and because it creates negative emotions.

Negative emotions give the body a rush of hormones that become addictive. That’s why so many people become hooked on having traumas and problems in their lives. These traumas fuel the brain with a hit of some of its favourite drugs: the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline.

We read a lot about becoming addicted to dopamine, but we don’t see much about addictions to the stress hormones. But they are equally as damaging.

When the brain or body is addicted to certain stress hormones, it is much harder to recognize than with other addictions. But if not addressed, this dependence becomes the pathway to an unhappy life.

Although I have known many who have a penchant for negativity, there was one particular person I knew, who was heavily addicted (and probably still is). I will call her Shirley.

Shirley would create reasons to be angry and dissatisfied with her life, including anyone in it. She had a very one-tracked mind and would not allow herself to see anything but negativity in a situation. She pushed many people away because of her dark ramblings. Not intentionally though. Anyone who spent time with her, found themselves being dragged into wrathful discussions which would leave them feeling flat and depressed.

She blamed everyone else for her life not being the way she wanted. Shirley expected others to change for her, but not to make any changes for herself. Because she secretly thrived on negativity, she continued to draw into her life more reasons to be negative (law of attraction).

Shirley allowed negativity to make her bitter and vengeful. But that wasn’t who she was deep down. She had a kind side that got squeezed out by the darkness she allowed to grow within.

Her desire for drama was fuelled by her body/brain’s need for stress hormones. Her negativity addiction did so much damage to her life. She refused to address it or see it as being problematic, because she secretly thrived on it. Negativity became her purpose. It was an addiction that she became afraid to live without.

I’m sure every one of you reading this has come across a ‘Shirley’ in your life.

I’m not for a moment suggesting that an Empath is destined to become like Shirley. I wanted to show an extreme example of negativity addiction. However, Empaths are at risk of becoming hooked on the stress hormones stirred up by negativity.

The reason you may not consciously be aware that you are addicted to stress hormones, is because they are activated without you necessarily taking part. And what I mean by this is, the brain will be doing the work.

Once addicted, your brain will work to activate your body into releasing stress hormones by drawing your attention to anything that it knows will make you react.

Picking up and feeling other people’s stress or emotions is also a way your hormones can be triggered. Another is having had experienced trauma in childhood (the memories continue to activate stress hormones throughout life).

A negativity addiction can be at work without you even leaving your home or coming into contact with others. When not around people, stress hormones are activated mostly through the thought process.

After giving up many addictive things, I know exactly how tricky addictions are, especially with the brain. It is not until we give something up for a period of time that we see just how our choices and thoughts were governed by addiction.

With any addiction, we have to see it for ourselves.

If you suspect you have an addiction to negativity, and are therefore drawing more negativity into your life (like attracts like), you have to stay vigilant of knowing when your hormones are being spiked. You normally recognise this by the discomfort around the gut or chest area. It may feel like a burning sensation or a sense of dread.

As soon as you feel this, act immediately with a distraction so that your thoughts don’t get involved. Thoughts feed emotions. Emotions feed thoughts. Emotions are fuel for your stress hormones. You have a seventeen second window before thoughts take over and you become hostage within your own head. This post may help with distraction.

So, yes, Empaths are prone to having negativity addictions and this is because we tend to feel everything so powerfully. But there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Often when we become aware of a problem within, it is half way to overcoming it.

Most Empaths know when they are experiencing stress, but they may have no idea how much of this stress is held within their muscles, which can cause problems…

Our muscles are constantly stimulated through the stresses of modern life, and are often in a near constant state of contraction. Because of this, even in sleep, the muscles don’t fully relax… Which, as you can probably imagine, is not good for Empath stress or overwhelm!

Even when we think we are relaxing, we often aren’t. The TV programs we watch in the evening can have the effect of firing up the mind, which stimulates the muscles, further tensing them, and even reading certain books can put the nerves (and muscles) on edge.

That’s not to mention how the pained emotions, either your own or those you pick up throughout the day from others, are stored within the muscles.

Stressed Muscles Leads to a Stressed Empath Mind!

Whilst reading this you will be holding tension somewhere in your body. Your forehead might be rouched, your eyes might be squinting, your shoulders might be hunched or your wrists extended back, your legs, hips or back might be in an awkward position, all creating pressure in your muscles and joints.

We could go through the entire body, but I think it’s safe to say you are holding muscle tension somewhere.

So Why is This Such a Bad Thing?

When your muscles are constantly contracted, they are fuelling the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight). Not only is this depleting the body of vital energy, that most can ill-afford to lose, but it is also prematurely ageing, it raises blood pressure, lowers the immune system and unnecessarily heightens Empath stress.

What To Do About It

By training the muscles to soften and loosen, through relaxation, it switches on the parasympathetic nervous system. This in turn, slows the breathing, lowers blood pressure, initiates deep relaxation of body and mind, and allows healing to occur.

One of the best and easiest ways to get a muscle to relax is to tense it first.

If you’ve ever been in a yoga class and the teacher asked you to tense all the muscles in your body before relaxation, it was to aid in releasing any held tension and to allow you to relax more deeply. Here are just some of the benefits:

Relaxation Benefits

Reduces fatigue

Anti-ageing

Lowers blood pressure

Boosts the immune system

Induces restful sleep

Allows for muscle regeneration

Switches on the parasympathetic nervous system

Promotes mind stillness

Aides in general well-being.

It is said that the relaxation, at the end of a yoga class, is the most beneficial part of the practice. Not only is it time for the body to rest, but it’s the time the benefits of yoga practise are fully integrated.

Relaxation can be done at anytime of day but it is great to do at bedtime or after exercise.

Following on from my post last week regarding the law of attraction (click here to read, otherwise this one may not make sense), I agree that negative experiences are an essential part of life and growth. I have written about this many times before in both my books and posts.

I know if I hadn’t experienced dark times, I would not have pushed myself forward to be where I am now. Many good things come out of negative situations. I am a big believer in that. Continue reading →

Today’s post is about an interesting comment I received on the last post I shared.

When I first read the following comment, my initial reaction was this was a negative response. It ruffled my feathers. I wasn’t sure what it was about. But I then realized there was a reference to the law of attraction in my last post. (Read my last post here).

Here is the comment:

Thinking negatively is absolutely essential if we are to change ourselves. Without negativity there is literally no driving force for change. Shame, depression, despair, sadness, anxiety, disillusionment, guilt, aloneness, self-doubt, self-dissatisfaction, feelings of inferiority etc. force self-aware individuals with a conscience to do better (‘the Theory of Positive Disintegration’, analogous to ‘the dark night of the soul’).

The ‘law of attraction’ – as it’s widely understood – is hogwash. Poor and sick people didn’t set out to be poor and sick people, and thinking happy-clappy thoughts won’t make their reality any nicer. Also, bad things happen to good people, and as well as that all sorts of low-life try to attack good people (where’s the ‘law of attraction’ in that?) There isn’t one genuinely spiritual person who hasn’t gone through an utterly miserable time from others.

Where the ‘law of attraction’ becomes even more pernicious is with new-age internet scammers who tell their victims that the ‘get rich quick’ schemes they bought into didn’t succeed because ‘they weren’t thinking positively enough’.

As I pondered my reply, I realized it would be a lengthy one. So, I decided it was a good opportunity to write a post about it instead, because a) I agree with the comment, and b) because I don’t agree with it and c) because I realize many Empaths may be of the same mind, (and d) because anything that ruffles my feathers is drawing my attention to something that needs addressing). Continue reading →

As Empaths, I’m sure many of you have experienced a social hangover… I know I certainly have.

So, what exactly is a social hangover and how does it affect us?

Basically, it’s similar to a boozy hangover, except it’s caused from consuming too much people energy and it happens whether you drink alcohol or not.

The physical symptoms are varied from one Empath to the next, but here are just a few: fatigue, headaches and generally feeling blah. For more extreme cases, it may require a day in bed.

Back in the days when I used to drink alcohol, I assumed feeling rough the day after was all down to guzzling too many Budweiser. So, when I ventured out alcohol free, I was surprised to discover I still got the ‘hangover’. I soon clicked on to the fact that it was the aftereffects of being peopled (alcohol had just heightened the impact). Continue reading →

Being in harmony with people is essential to an Empath’s health and wellbeing. So, it should go without saying that as Empaths we should be extra vigilant of not only whom we allow into our life but also those we allow to stay.

This issue isn’t about being egotistical or ‘special’, and it’s not about thinking we’re too good for some people. It’s about letting go of those who constantly make us feel bad, who drain our energy and suck the joy from our life. And that should probably include the people who are angry or bitter towards us, those who attack or lie about us to others and those who seem to enjoy seeing us suffer.

Sadly, the people this includes is most often adult family members or friends who we would have at one time considered close. Continue reading →

Too many Empaths go through life feeling like they don’t belong. It’s as though they have been dumped in a reality that is not a fit for them… So why is that?

Even before we discover who we are, as Empaths, we can feel like a giant square peg trying to squeeze into a tiny hole.

We look around at those who glide through life, following the rules laid down by society, who appear contented with the way the system operates and who slot in with others effortlessly. Even if they are unhappy, they never seem to question anything, nor find fault with ‘the way things work’. We may wonder why is it so easy for them to ‘fit in’ but not for us?

There are several reasons for this ‘sense of not belonging’ the Empath has; one of which being the way we ‘feel’. Continue reading →

As I was nosing through some of my older posts, I came across one I had posted two Christmases ago (read it here). The post made me smile because I remembered how much I disliked the month of December and how bad I always felt when it came to the ‘Silly Season’.

But this year, it’s been different. In truth, I have loved every minute of the month. I have loved the crisp coldness and dark winter evenings, and having to wrap up in warm winter woollies. I find myself gazing at the twinkling lights, dangling from the trees and houses in the neighbourhood, in awe and I have truly enjoyed socializing and getting together with friends.

Another factor which has left me rather astonished is that I have not been taken down by all the crazy ’emotional’ energy stirred up during the Christmas period. I put this down to the fact that I am constantly working on myself to stay in balance. I also have lots of ‘grounding and re-balancing tricks’ up my sleeve.

Many Empaths face a daily ’emotional and physical hangover’ during the month of December. It kind of goes with the territory. But you do not need to suffer unnecessarily.

Different types of emotional stress trigger different responses within an Empath. For this reason, it is a good idea to experiment with ‘new’ grounding techniques at this time of year, to help stay detached from the emotional energy of others.

You may find the following techniques (from my last Christmas post) beneficial:

Surviving Christmas

Daily Grounding

Most Empaths have a daily grounding ritual, but to stay out of the ‘Christmas stress’ we need to add something extra to it… childlike positivity.

Adopting childlike excitement into your energy can help protect you from the stress energy of others.

You only have to cast your mind back to childhood to remember how explosively exciting Christmas was. So, instead of tuning into people’s stress energy, focus your awareness on the exhilaration you had in childhood. It is uplifting and energizing.

Carry Haematite or Other Protective Stones

Haematite is both grounding and mirroring, and it will help protect you when in busy, stressed places (basically everywhere over the festive period).

Keeping a piece with you at all times is a good way to shield yourself from unwanted energy. If you want to learn more about the benefits of Haematite for the Empath see this post.

Eat Lots of Bright Coloured Food

Oranges, lemons and limes, red apples, blueberries and bananas, for example, will help keep you protected and healthy over the silly season.

Christmas contributes to bad eating. Party food and alcohol carry little in the way of nutrients, and if we pick up lots of stress energy the immune system will be compromised.

By eating plenty of lovely bright coloured foods it ensures you get lots of vitamins and enzymes which wards off colds and builds your resilience towards stress-related illness.

When we eat brightly coloured food, in the form of delicious fruit and veg, we reap many benefits.

Also whether we gaze upon brightly coloured fruit or consume it, it is beneficial. Colour raises our mood and vibration and that is always going to be super-beneficial at this time of year.

Shake it Off

If you get overwhelmed by too much stress energy, a brilliant way to get rid of it is by shaking it off.

Start by giving each leg a good shake, shake your bottom and your torso, shake your arms and hands, blubber through your lips and wobble your cheeks, run your hands through your hair and give the scalp a good shake (I do not recommend shaking the head as tension is often held in the neck).

Shaking works even better if you can do it in water and/or with some uplifting funky music.

The shaking method also works great if you pick up on any anger energy.

Eat Chocolate

Eating moderate amounts of chocolate is a perfect and delicious, way for an Empath to ground and recharge.

Many Empaths are naturally drawn to chocolate, their inner-knowing already knows of its benefits. However, not all chocolate is created equal, the darker the chocolate the better, and if it is organic, perfect!

Opt for minimum 70% cocoa when choosing your chocolate fix.

Dark chocolate is super healthy as long as it in not loaded with unrefined sugar.

White refined sugar is inflammatory. It causes excess cortisol to be released into the body which then heightens uncomfortable emotions and stress for the Empath (click here to learn more).

Practice Gratitude

Christmas can cause overwhelm for an Empath and may put them in a negative mindset, but by practising gratitude it can raise the spirits like nothing else.

Being grateful for what you already have in your life brings in more things to be thankful for. Or, if you don’t feel like you have much to be grateful for, be grateful for the amazing things that are coming your way.

You will be amazed at just how uplifting this is. It also works like chocolate and floods your system with feel good hormones.

Are you one of the many Empaths who struggles to stay in control of how you feel?

You are not alone. The stresses of ‘Empath life’ certainly takes its toll on the emotional and physical wellbeing of many Empaths.

But did you know that just by drinking more water you can become healthier, both emotionally and physically?

Sound too good to be true…? Read on…

The body consists of up to 75% water (some body tissue has 95%), so it will come as no surprise that we need to drink lots of water to stay in balance physically and mentally.

When out-of-sorts, we can turn to water as a quick pick-me-up. Not only will it help keep the body functioning properly but it also helps in dealing with Empath overwhelm and emotional energy.

Most are unaware just how dehydrated they are, because they regularly drink fluids throughout the day. But as the body uses so much water, just to function, it is quickly being used and in constant need of replenishment.

Breathing alone loses a quarter of the body’s water, on a daily basis, and that’s without any physical exertion.

Dehydration affects well-being, appearance and accelerates the aging process. Being well-hydrated is essential to keep the body functioning and the energy levels stable.

We could not survive more than a few days without fluid and this should make it clear how important it is.

But not only does an insufficient supply of water create problems with the functioning of the body and mind, it can also influence how an Empath experiences the energy of others.

Because they are often on overload, from experiencing too much emotional energy, the Empath’s filtering system does not always work as efficiently as it could; meaning toxins stay in the body longer than they should. Which can play havoc with their emotions.Continue reading →

If you are one of the many Empaths who feel unable to make real connections with people, or with life itself, know that you are not alone and that there is a reason for it.

We don’t always realize, but life is a series of linked events; each one leading to the next, like the spots on a dot-to-dot puzzle. Yet, most are unaware that the seemingly random occurrences of life and a feeling of ‘disconnect’ are in any way pivotal to the course of our destiny…

Because the mind is kept so busy trying to make sense of life’s conundrums, we are often kept from connecting the dots on our unique and mysterious life puzzle. Our Empath sensitivities may also prevent us from seeing how amazing our lives are, or how this sense of ‘disconnectedness’ serves us.

The majority of us work hard trying to figure out life. We may wonder where our true purpose lies or we may constantly find ourselves looking at ways to better fit in with others. It may even feel like we are not on the ‘right path’.

Why do so many Empaths feel disconnected?

It may certainly seem that the Empath is destined to go through life feeling off-course, unfulfilled, overwhelmed, or unable to connect. There are many things that come with being an Empath that makes them push people away: getting hurt easily, feeling others’ emotional pain, and being a beacon for other people’s problems being but a few. This in itself can lead to feelings of being disconnected.

It is easy to forget that we came here for a reason: to experience life as an Empath, and the many challenges that go with it, because we get distracted by the obstacles we face.

Empath life is often strenuous, painful, overly emotional, sometimes lonely and often comes with a huge sense of disconnect from others. Which is ironic considering we feel the energy of people so powerfully. But, when we allow ourselves to see it, Empath life is also enlightening, invigorating, electrically charged and a true gift.

Empaths can boast of life experiences few can expect to have. We feel things others don’t and we have a strong sense of intuition that will take us to all the right places, if we believe in it and follow its guidance.

Sometimes, we purposely make life more difficult for ourselves, without realizing. And sometimes we allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity or we get stuck in victim mentality. We may also subconsciously choose to ignore what we need to do to keep us safe and sane on our journey. But the keys to our happiness and ‘reconnection’ are always there for us to find, when we are ready.

So, to get to the reason for not feeling connected to others: Being disconnected keeps us moving forward, looking for ways to better ourself or find the answers. If we were to feel extremely contented and comfortable in life, we would not look for ways to become empowered.

As an Empath, it is easy to see dark or challenging times as punishments, but when we come through the other side we always find an incredible gift inside the experience.

The experiences we have, really are unique, and every difficulty we have endured and overcome has catapulted us forward, shaping the course of our life.

When we connect the dots of our past, we see a bigger picture emerge. Everything happens for a reason. Even feeling disconnected shapes and changes us, pushing us towards evolvement.

Listen to your soul, tune into your intuition and don’t be afraid to make the changes you know that will reconnect you to your truth, purpose and happiness, and in turn others.

When I started writing for the Empath, back in 2011, there was very little material available on the subject, and this is what drove my compilation of the ‘Traits of an Empath’. I wanted to help other Empaths understand who they were and discover why they felt all they did. I also wanted to share what had helped me.

It doesn’t seem so long ago that the word ‘Empath’ was a rarely mentioned term. But we can see how that’s changed in recent years. Thousands, if not millions, have discovered who they are as Empaths with all the information now available.

However, with this Empath uprising there also seems to have been an upsurge with the ‘dark side of sensitive’. This can be observed with the rise of the narcissist and those encompassing narcissistic traits.

What Makes a Narcissist?

Although the term narcissism originally stemmed from having extreme vanity, today it represents so much more:

The definition of a narcissist is: a psychological condition characterised by self-preoccupation, high self-esteem, a distinct lack of empathy, excessive self-admiration and a tendency towards selfish or resentful behaviours. But there are many more traits associated with this type of disposition such as: one-sidedness, a manipulative nature, unrealistic expectations of others, excess need for control, and a huge sympathy deficiency. In some cases, the traits of a narcissist match up with a psychopath.

The Empath Connection

Where you find an Empath, you often find a narcissist nearby… or at least those who display several narcissistic tendencies.

In fact, if an Empath takes a look into their past they normally see a pattern of people displaying the above traits throughout their lives.

There are some who would argue that an Empath and narcissist are two sides of the same coin. And although I certainly agree that both have heightened levels of sensitivity, they are expressed in opposite ways.

An Empath’s sensitive side may breed and feed their emotional pain, but it also contributes to their consideration, compassion, and abundance of empathy.

The narcissist’s sensitive side also contributes to their inner-pain, but in many cases, their wounds bred bitter, resentful and vengeful tendencies.

And when a narcissist is offended, it is often the result of a wounded ego as opposed to a pained soul — as in the Empath’s case. Continue reading →

There is no denying it, ‘people stress’ exists. Every one of us has experienced it. And I have no doubt we will have caused people stress to others at some point.

But there are some who seem to enjoy living under a dark cloud and make an occupation out of unpleasantness; they talk malevolently of people, places and pastimes and suck the joy out of life… These are the negative people of the world

Science has acknowledged that just by spending too much time around those who are constantly disapproving or miserable, has an undesirable influence on one’s health and happiness.

There are many studies showing how prolonged ‘people stress’ alters gene expression within the immune system… Meaning: we become sick just by hanging out with angry, gloomy or demoralizing people.

Some doctors now even recommend their patients avoid spending time with those who cause them emotional stress; for the fact they could exacerbate health conditions.

It may seem unkind to suggest avoiding negative people, but here are 9 reasons why you should:

1, Low Moods are Triggered by Emotional Contagion:

Emotional contagion is the phenomenon of having one person’s emotions and linked behaviours trigger similar emotions in others. Meaning: Negativity is contagious.

You can experience other people’s low moods just by spending time with them.

2, You Become a Magnet for Negativity:

Ever wondered why after spending time around negative people you draw more negative situations towards you?

Like attracts like.

When you unintentionally harvest other people’s negativity, through emotional contagion, it often becomes your own. Through the law of attraction, you then attract more.

Negativity breeds negativity!

3, You Experience an Energy Drain:

You may have noticed that when you spend time around negative people you feel cloudy, flat and lethargic.

Many negative people are also energy vampires. Their negativity sucks the energy from you, even after a short time spent in their presence. This drain can leave you feeling low, uninspired and weary.

4, Negative People Contribute to Inflammation:

Stress causes inflammation in the body.

Chronic inflammation has been linked to autoimmune disorders, depression, heart disease and even cancer.

By keeping negative people in your life, who cause you stress, you are causing your body more damage than you know.

5, The Adrenal Glands Weaken:

Although every organ is affected by people stress, the adrenals are one of the first to be impacted.

The adrenals are part of the endocrine system and are responsible for releasing the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline.

When the adrenals are functioning properly, cortisol is anti-inflammatory, otherwise it has the opposite effect.

By spending time around negative people it causes excessive stress which activates the fight-or-flight system. This system is supposed to keep you safe from harm, giving you the energy to run away or stay and do battle… but there is no danger just people stress. This happening repeatedly not only weakens the adrenals but inhibits the proper release of cortisol and impairs health.

6, Weight Gain:

If you are Sensitive and spend a lot of time around stress-inducing people, your adrenals become impaired, which, as mentioned above, plays havoc with cortisol production and can lead to weight gain.

As well as being known as the stress hormone, cortisol is also called the fat storing hormone.

The weight gain, caused by excess cortisol production, is often seen around the stomach – and a reason many Empaths have a squidgy, pot belly. This fat is difficult to eliminate because it is not caused by eating too much food, so reducing food intake has little effect.

7, Imbalanced or Blocked Chakras

Chakras are also known as energy centres.

The chakras are directly linked to your endocrine glands (glands that release hormones into the body), and people stress is known to impair the endocrine glands.

When any endocrine gland weakens (adrenals for example), it has a knock-on-effect and leads to unbalanced chakras.

Blocked or unbalanced chakras cause many health problems and can also lead to leaky aura syndrome (a problem many Empaths struggle with).

8, Weakened Energy Field:

Also known as the aura or pranic sheath, your energy field emanates around you like a luminous egg-shaped sheath.

The energy field has been defined as a haze or ‘metamolecular space’ that surrounds every living thing.

A healthy energy field keeps good energy in and bad energy out. A weak energy field, however, is porous and leaky, also known as leaky aura syndrome, and allows in too much energy from others.

If you become overly stressed or anxious, when around negative people, you are more at risk of developing a permeable aura. This can cause many unnecessary difficulties in life.

A weakened aura is bad news on many levels for the Empath (see this post to learn more) and by staying away from negative people it will help keep your energy field healthy.

9, Unhappiness and Depression:

It is difficult to stay upbeat when around anyone who drags you down emotionally.

Sensitive people are prone to low moods and depression, and for this – and all the above reasons – the best way to stay happy is by avoiding nasty or unpleasant people.

If you experience guilt at the prospect of avoiding certain negative people, remind yourself you are looking after your health and wellbeing…

You deserve to be happy and healthy!

Remedies

Because complete avoidance of negative people is near impossible, I have included 3 quick recovery remedies that aid relaxation and help switch on the parasympathetic nervous system (system responsible for bringing calm and balance to the body).

Take a Salted, Magnesium, Essential Oil Bath:

This is an incredible combination for instilling calm and overall balance. Salt clears negative energy, it also heals and softens the skin.

Magnesium helps one relax, and boosts energy, supports the endocrine system and aids sleep (quality sleep is essential for repairs).

Choosing an essential oil, such as lavender, further supports deep relaxation.

Still the Mind and Calm the Breath:

When stressed or anxious the breathing becomes erratic and thoughts go into overdrive, this only serves in heightening stress and weakens the body.

I have often been asked questions such as: ‘how can I be of service to others without being drained?’ or ‘I want to help, how should I do it?’ And, although I have replied to those who have asked these kind of questions in comments, I decided to write a mini-post about it.

I have already covered this topic in other blog posts; but as I know it is a frustrating question to have, I will address it again here.

It is an inbred trait for Empaths to want to help others, if only in an indirect way, and it can be incredibly soul-destroying to see another suffering and not be able to help them. Especially when it’s obvious they are either too ashamed to ask for help for fear of appearing weak, or if they have gone through life being the ‘strong one’ and when their life starts falling apart, they are afraid of being judged for having failed.

Everyone needs help and direction at some point, no matter how evolved they are. But it is still up to each person to seek out the answers they need and they have to be ready to ask for help and/or be willing to make changes.

We see suffering as bad, and it is. But it is through suffering that humans really learn and grow. It can also be an important rite of passage into spiritual consciousness. But still, everyone needs a pointer at some time.
So, one of the easiest ways to help others is to simply listen.

By listening, it is healing to the one being heard. People don’t really listen anymore. Most are too busy thinking about their own story to hear what others are trying to say, or are just waiting for their turn to talk. But to Empaths, listening comes as naturally as breathing.

This is why Empaths are often so sought out, because they listen and they hear. The downside to this is taking on too much, especially when another is repeating a victim-story, like a broken record, and refuses to help themselves by making any changes. Some people also need professional help, and guiding them towards it may be the best option.

It is always wise to have time limits, when listening to others, to prevent overwhelm and or taking on too much. With each person, time limits will be different. For some people, five minutes is enough time, with others an hour or so is ok. But always use grounding and protecting techniques before and after. See here and here.

Another incredible way to serve others, is by serving self first. When we work on ourselves, in mind, body and spirit, we become balanced and empowered. Our vibration then speeds up and we emit a much more powerful energy. The type of energy that is uplifting and healing to those around us.

So, just by empowering ourselves we can help empower others.

If you want to learn more about becoming an empowered Empath,this post is worth a read.