You thought she was still bopping about with Elaine The Pain, didn't you - not old enough to meet another adult, grow a baby in her stomach, expel it forth unto the world and look after it for the rest of its life.

But she has, dear readers. She has.

The little lady is named Avarie-Belle Betsy Brough, which *sounds* like a new character in a BBC series about a troubled yet sparky foster child, but it's not. It's real life. Congratulations, Dani Harmer and boyfriend - we're all really fucking old now, but at least we're in this together.