If: a play in four acts eBook

JOHN BEAL

Marry her! Good Lord, no. Why, you’d
never dare ask her. She’s not that sort.
I tell you she’s a sort of queen. And (Good
Lord!) she’d be a queen if it wasn’t for
Hussein, or something very like one. We can’t
go marrying queens. Anyhow, not one like her.

ARCHIE BEAL

Why not one like her?

JOHN BEAL

I tell you—­she’s a—­well,
a kind of goddess. You couldn’t ask her
if she loved you. It would be such, such . .
.

ARCHIE BEAL

Such what?

JOHN BEAL

Such infernal cheek.

ARCHIE BEAL

I see. Well, I see you aren’t in love with
her. But it seems to me you’ll be seeing
a good deal of her some day if we pull this off.
And then, my boy-o, you’ll be going and getting
in love with her.

JOHN BEAL

I tell you I daren’t. I’d as soon
propose to the Queen of Sheba.

ARCHIE BEAL

Well, Johnny, I’m going to protect you from
her all I can.

JOHN BEAL

Protect me from her? Why?

ARCHIE BEAL

Why, because there’s lots of other girls and
it seems to me you might be happier with some of them.

JOHN BEAL

But you haven’t even seen her.

ARCHIE BEAL

Nor I have. Still, if I’m here to protect
you I somehow think I will. And if I’m not
. . .

JOHN BEAL

Well, and what then?

ARCHIE BEAL

What nonsense I’m talking. Fate does everything.
I can’t protect you.

JOHN BEAL

Yes, it’s nonsense all right, Archie, but
. . .

Hussein [off]

I am here.

JOHN BEAL

Be seen.

[Hussein enters. He is not unlike Bluebeard.]

JohnBeal [pointing to Archie]
My brother.

[Archie shakes hands with Hussein.
Hussein looks at his hand when it is over in
a puzzled way. JohnBeal and Hussein
then bow to each other.]