Canada’s Indigenous Services Minister issued a stern warning to reporters today, demanding they stop reporting her department’s many failures and start reporting her dreams for the future.

“It’s high time the media stops being sloppy and reports the things I promised to do as fact and not the many things I haven’t done,” an angry Jane Philpott said.

“Shame on you,” she added, as reporters hung their heads forlornly.

Philpott also blamed journalists for not reading through the lines of her department’s vague, non-answer media statements and seeing what she said is the truth — that her department has made huge leads in improving the lives of Indigenous Peoples.

When asked what those leads are, Philpott told reporters to make an official media request and someone might get back to them in a few days.