Lately, I have been noticing something that so many women seem to struggle with on a daily basis. I know I have in the past, and honestly, at times I still do. I have had to learn techniques and become very aware around it so that I do not allow this habit to run my life.

Do you have a guess as to what it may be?

Women are way too hard on themselves!

Being hard on yourself shows up in a variety of different ways and half of the time, you probably don’t even realize you are doing it. You may wonder why you are feeling badly, having a hard time loving yourself, and struggling to reach your goals. You may think it has something to do with the outside circumstances of your life. Maybe your dead-end job or the partner that isn’t giving you what you need, but it really never has anything to do with the outside world.

Many people believe that once you are healed you don’t have to go through the pain and struggle anymore. Like somehow you learn how to never again let anything bother you, and you can walk around happy and positive all the time. That somehow, everything simply rolls off your shoulders and you can greet every single negative occurrence in your life with a big smile on your face. If you get upset or are in a funk, then that must mean there is something wrong with you, and you have somehow fallen a thousand steps back in your healing process.

Well, it simply just isn’t true.

No matter how far along you get in your healing process and no matter how joyful and free your life becomes, you will still go through difficulties and challenges. You will get angry, upset, frustrated, and even get down on yourself. You will have moments where you want to scream and even end up in the occasional funk.

Throughout the rest of your life, you will continue to peel back layers of yourself and grow as a human into the person you are created to be. This process will straight up suck sometimes, no matter how evolved your spirit is and how on point your mindset gets. So, when you find yourself in a funk or having a bad day, it does not mean that you are going backwards or that you are “never” going to heal, it just means you are human!!

There are so many reasons that people choose to make health and fitness a defining factor in their lives. Each and every person has their own story for starting, and their own reasons for continuing. The common thread that unites us all though is that health and fitness in some ways propels us toward being a higher version of ourselves.

Almost three years ago I suffered the loss of my father. He became sick unexpectedly and then after a very strong fight, he passed away two months later. Absolutely nothing in my life prepared me for this moment. I was quite honestly devastated and paralyzed with grief; the guilt, anger, and sadness almost too much to bear. The days following found me laying in my bed, oscillating between sobbing, staring blankly at the ceiling, and sleeping. The chasm in my heart felt an ocean wide and I wasn’t sure how I was ever going to fill that space again. Other than being present for my son, nothing else mattered enough for me to even try.

After approximately two months of this, I managed to listen to a voice inside telling me that I needed to get up and move. If nothing else, I could head down to the gym and then go right back to sleep. I begrudgingly pulled myself out of bed, put on some workout clothes, got myself out of my home and through the doors of the gym. I’m pretty sure that process took a record breaking hour to accomplish. I managed to make myself move, doing some weights and some cardio. Exhausted, I trudged back up to my home and straight into my bed. It wasn’t much, but I had left my bed and done something for me. I fell asleep with a small sense of accomplishment in my heart.

It is often said that experiencing a divorce is similar to experiencing the death of a loved one. I can tell you from my own experience that this is exactly true. Although, I sometimes think that it was even worse, because with divorce you have to continue to watch the other person living life separate from you. As a result, you question so many things about yourself and about your own abilities to function in the future. I remember questioning my worth, whether or not I was ever loved, and if I would ever be lovable again, wondering if I was good enough, debating fault and if my actions had been the cause of the break up, and feeling unsure how I would ever figure out how to survive.

I didn’t know how to answer these questions and had no idea of a path that would lead me toward healing and freedom. So, I tried anything and everything I could, just hoping and praying that somehow one of these methods would eventually make me feel better. I spent a ton of unnecessary time, money, pain searching and struggling through these unchartered waters. I spent years taking one step forward and three steps backward, a dance that I definitely did not enjoy doing and don’t plan to ever do so again.

Through my own long and painful journey, I learned great lessons and as a result, have a clear vision of my purpose and my path. One of the many lessons I learned and now subscribe to in every area of my life is coaching. No matter what endeavor I choose to take on, I now know the value of finding an expert in that area to show me the way and to impart their hard-earned wisdom on me so I can avoid the unnecessary pieces on my way toward my goals. What my coaches have provided me has been invaluable, and I am filled with gratitude when I think about how much they have served me and altered my life. Among the many reasons, this is why I’ve chosen to coach others and love what I do.

Listen to your heart, follow your intuition, what does your gut tell you to do. How many times have you heard this advice from others, from yourself? It sounds good, makes sense even, but when it comes down to it, you have no idea what your gut is telling you. You are conflicted and struggling to make this huge decision while multiple voices inside are coming through loud and clear. Which is which and how do you even begin to know how to find the correct one?

You begin to struggle through the decision, playing mind games with yourself as you try to decipher your higher wisdom from your fear. Maybe I’m meant to do this, maybe I’m supposed to say that, maybe this is a sign, maybe I’m just over-reacting, maybe…maybe…maybe. Instead of getting clearer you grow more and more confused. Trying to listen to your gut has not only been ineffective, but now it has you completely stuck and further from understanding and making a decision than you were in the first place. Continue reading →

Do you ever wonder if there are ways to stay energized after those long nights when you don’t get enough sleep?

I long ago learned that I am a much happier, relaxed, and motivated person when I have had the proper amount of rest. The thing is though, life happens and well, I can’t always get the amount of sleep my body really requires for me to be at my peak performance.

There was once a time when I let this ruin my day, expecting that I would not be productive and would most likely be in a bad mood.

I would drink extra amounts of caffeine and drag myself through my day kicking and screaming.

Not fun for me and certainly not fun for the people around me!

Sound familiar??

Well, I got tired of having days like these and decided that losing a night or two of sleep did not have to result in such dramatic consequences.

I began researching and experimenting with my own body and found ways to keep my energy up, even after those long restless nights.

Why do we pressure ourselves so much to be perfect? To look perfect? To appear perfect?

Why do we work so hard to hide our imperfections, even when it is at a cost to ourselves?

I speak to so many women who feel like they have to constantly be on. They feel pressured to look as though they have it all together at all times. Not only does everything need to appear to run smoothly, but they also feel they have to look and act a certain way in order to feel accepted and loved. Their time gets spent worrying about things that don’t truly matter to them, caught up in a way of living that they now can’t seem to break away from.

Can you relate? Is there a part of you that feels you have to live up to some sort of standard in order to be loved by the people around you, accepted into the community, or desired by someone you are attracted to?

I know that I can absolutely relate. I spent many years worrying so much about being perfect. It was so important to me that I have it all together. I didn’t want it to ever look as though I couldn’t handle things. And forget about making mistakes…OMG I would want to crawl in a hole if anyone ever saw me mess up. Somehow, I thought that all of this mattered and I wasted a lot of time being someone I am not.

Then I had one of those “Holy Crap” moments and that was it…I dropped my facade and began the journey to discovering who I really am. And guess what…

Who I am is definitely not perfect.

I don’t make my bed, I get lazy sometimes, learning anything tech is like walking through quicksand for me, I barely ever put on makeup, and I am the worst and being timely with birthday cards. And now guess what….I love me for every single one of these things and more!

So…how did I make the leap from perfectionism to being perfectly imperfect, and how can you??

I got a sense of humor, stopped taking myself so seriously, and well…I got over myself. My need to be perfect wasn’t serving anyone, not me or the people I love. Nobody really cared but me. I mean…how freeing is that?? And even more, I created so much space for authentic connection with people since I wasn’t so consumed with thinking about myself. Life Changing for me and for you too!!

As a recovering perfectionist, I want to inspire you to remove this energy draining habit from your life and free yourself to embrace all of who you are. YOU can make the leap from worrying about getting it all right to living a life of absolute joy and freedom. At first it may feel a bit scary, after all you are entering unchartered waters, but it will get easier and before you know it, you will be celebrating your imperfections with laughter and delight.

So go on…embrace your imperfections, laugh at yourself, and get to living your kick ass life!