Meghna Gulzar On Self Doubt And Watching Her Parents Struggle With Her Failures

IWB Post

June 13, 2018

While we always look up to people with a great pedigree, there is always another side of the story for legacies come with their own burden. Filmmaker Meghna Gulzar is one such person who had to drag the weight of a big family name.

Daughter of legendary lyricist Gulzar and actor Rakhee, Meghna initiated her career in 2002 with the film Filhaal, but she didn’t get to taste success before 2015.

In a recent interaction with Hindustan Times Meghna got candid on what it was like to grow up in the shadow of her illustrious parents. She shared that her failures were far more difficult for her parents than they were for her. Here are excerpts from the interaction:

Talking about how success didn’t come to her easily Meghna shares, “My earlier films (Filhaal and Just Married in 2007) did not work at the box office. It was of course discouraging and it was difficult to process.”

But the box office failure of her films was not the only struggle for Meghna. She explains, “For me, it was doubly difficult because of my parents. Having parents, who have been so successful professionally and they seeing that I am not finding success, was tough.”

It was further complicated for the family as Meghna isn’t particularly one of those who’d seek help from her parents. She shares, “Also, they did not know how they could help me. That is partly because I wouldn’t let them. It was more difficult for them to be watching all of that going on, and for me frankly, more than my failure it was their trouble that worried me.”

There came a point when consistent failures made Meghna doubt her self-worth and her methods. “I would have questions of self-doubt and wonder whether I should recalibrate my work, as to how to make films more successful at the box office,” she says.

Fortunately, she didn’t have to change her methodology and she is utterly thankful for it. Meghna says, “I thank god and the audience and the media that I didn’t have to do that. And when I did get the success, it was not at the cost of betraying my sensibilities. I remained true to my sensibilities and my craft.”

The pressure for Meghna wasn’t, however, to surpass the heights that her parents had achieved or to be as successful as them, if not more. All that mattered to her was to somehow make them proud.

“It never is because for me they were never the milestone that I had to cross or reach. They are my parents. The only thing was that they were my benchmark for grace and pride and quality of work. For me all that mattered was that I had made them proud. The pressure was never mine,” she says.