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don’t shoot the MESSENGER…Jesus is here

Ok folks. I’m tired of hiding in the bushes. Haha. You’ll get the joke in a minute. Life has been steering me in a strange direction. I knew as an itty bitty kid that I didn’t really want to do what was expected of me later in life. That I was here for a different reason than most humans. That I came for a specific reason and I didn’t think I was up to it so I covered myself in shame and unworthiness and walked with my head held down. I walked for most of my life this way. Staring at the ground. The concrete. Even likened my heart in a poem to concrete. Concrete Heart. I was the gift that nobody wanted….another poem. I knew this from a very young age and it directed my life. Now, I have reached the time that I feared. Now. Which now…that one? That one? Shit…I missed it again. I have had this information now for a few months. This haunting. Ya, I’m being haunted. No question. I am haunted by the Feminine. The loss of….the crushing of….the return of. I pray. I beg even. Please, please, tell me what to do. Am I to take this literally or as a statement? I Keep starting books, and websites….but none seem right. I research and research and my passion grows…..it hurts my belly so. My life is not what I thought it was. My life is more. I am more. But how much more is the question.

During my WinterSolsticeExperience2006, I didn’t tell you all of it. I told you I shifted the masculine to feminine that night, until the same date in 2011 when I was asked to shift it back. Now why….would God ask me to do that? Seriously, ME? I’ve often wondered. I understand now. Well, to a degree. In the Experience I told you that it was a lesson about the archetypes and how they come to earth. So….I was shown that the same soul comes again and again as the same entity but in different times and looks. I also have since learned that we each play all the archetypes as well. Well, I know now which archetype is mine. Only it’s not normal……..is anything ever normal with me????? So here’s the deal. My soul belongs to the entities known as Jesus, Mary, Isis, Sophia, Shekinah. What??????? Anyone do a doubletake? Yes, lil ole me is saying that. Wait…what? If you forget for a second that it’s me saying it…..look again. Jesus…what’s he doing in that list of women? WELL…………………………………. That my friends is where the oddity comes in. It is being shown to me, that Jesus was not a person. That Jesus is a made up name, for the human being known as Mary, the Mother. That the female was being removed from history as God. Replaced with another. So. For months now, I have been trying to sort. Am I Jesus incarnated? Am I Mary? Am I Sophia? All of these entities come repeatedly to earth. Jesus came as Buddha, Thoth, Horus, etc. Sophia came as Isis, Mary, etc. OR…..am I not an incarnation. Perhaps it’s more of a consciousness I am personifying. After the angst of months…..I came to the realization that it doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter if I am the real thing or Memorex. I was sent. I was sent as her. As him being her. As her being him. She. SHE. SHE whose womb the worlds are birthed. She who created the stars. She who lives now in the Tree of Life, after scorning the snakes attempt.

IF I am an incarnation of Jesus….I know now that I am not alone in this. There are many. MANY!!! They write books! I know why too. I know why they are here…..and I know why I am here. I just don’t know how to go about it. They….the Jesus’s are here because of the messed up message the church did for gain. I, am here because of the messed up world we have all endured while having a Patriarchal society. Those can only be war societies. That’s how boys are made. How are girls made? Made to create. To carry the babies in the womb. To tend the gardens. To intuit. To nurture. To maintain compassion…..etc. Now…..which one might make a more pleasant society to live in??? Simple question…simple answer. So. Here I AM. Am I HER? Maybe I am. I do for sure represent her. I am the voice of SophiaMaryJesus. Not a damn thing I can do about it. We can only be who or what we are. SO……how best to utilize this? How to help the world knowing this? I am not the first to ponder this………..there is a wild blonde who came to say something feminine……not the same thing I say, but a message nonetheless….Madonna. Hers was more on the sensual spectrum of the color of woman, outwardly, but inwardly…I’m certain that she has experienced the full spectrum of womanhood……a rare thing. I think about it and think about it and I decide that while it is awesome to be outfitted with the fresh new Christ Consciousness….I know it’s more than that in my case. Have always known. I believe the answer is to be an icon. An icon for the Feminine. Sounds grandiose. Guess what….it is. It is Grand. And its oh so awesome. Of course it’s a woman. Women are the creators!!!! How did we get sideswiped about that???? The rose colored glasses were not rose…..they were grey and they were forced on!!! Men don’t create!!! They tear down!!! Yes, there are exceptions to every rule but the majority will follow their design. Nothing wrong with tearing down. Remaking. Rethinking. Sure. But as a home….a warmth….a feeling of safety and serenity, the earth needs nurturers. Simple solution. Join forces. Women design the ways of life….men help implement it and design the perfections.

Have I freaked you out? I’ve been pretty stressed about it. I was advised to be quiet. I pondered this too. I don’t need to know if I incarnated or not. All I need to know is what is needed. I know what is needed. How to go about it is the harder part. This should tell you that I speak my truth. That I can say with a straight face……….I know how to fix the world………gimme money, time…5, maybe 10 years, helpers and AUTHORITY and wham. OR….as I’ve been telling God/Spirit, gimme powers and ya…..I’ll fix it real quick. It’s really so simple. So simple. Let the RIGHT feminine run things awhile and soon…..things will shift to where it can change to a Jetriarchal society. Joint EFFORT Trilogy society. Feminine, Masculine and Holy Spirit. As it is now, they have Mary as the Holy Spirit, but only in some systems. But in the end……the bottom line of my job…..is to shed light. Light on the possibilities. To say…..it is not one way. It is many ways. All the Jesus incarnates have been writing books… titled The Way…..in some form. It is the way. But so is this. Or this. Everything is a bubble. Round. Can be seen 360 ways times what…..gosh I suck at math…..times, 360 times 360? Haha.. A lot of ways!!! A lot of perspectives. This water sphere of life…..creates so many facets, and add the light and shadow and jeeze. Life is so very intricate. In case I’m not being clear….I’m speaking of the water drop say, on a leaf. It reflects what is around it inside the drop….but depending on where you stand…you see something different. Life IS a water drop. Humans ARE a water drop. We reflect. In the end…..what I am here about, is to shake things up….and reinvigorate the TRUE RELIGION…LOVE. I’ll be speaking more about this, but it is the only religion we need. Not male female really, in the end…the message is LOVE. So….I think I need to become ME. What does that look like? We shall see. I’m learning who she is. Signing off in Quebradas, Costa Rica where weedwhackers, motorcycles and pa systems are the typical sounds, the river flow tries to cover the human sounds, and the butterflies flit and chase and dive and swirl and dance.