I wasn't a big fan of high school, and my high school wasn't a big fan of me. Weird, awkward, and music-obsessed, I was a concert-tee-clad speck in a sea of polo shirts and boat shoes. My 30th high school reunion was last July. A friend of mine from high school, who has a sadistic sense of humor, added me to the reunion Facebook page. One of the organizers for the event asked the group what songs they wanted to hear at the reunion. They all commented with one singular word, "Eighties." The organizer tried their best to be diplomatic, and calmly asked which particular songs they wanted to hear, which then prompted the response of, "Eighties." This went on for a while. Finally, someone commented with Starship's "We Built This City."

Needless to say, I didn't attend the reunion. I try my best to avoid situations where I might accidentally hear one note of Starship's "We Built This City." In a strange coincidence, some of my friends who didn't attend my high school organized a gothic/punk/industrial 'club kid' reunion the weekend prior to my high school reunion. During the early-to-mid '80s, the midwestern city I lived in had a great alternative music club scene. We would spend most of our evenings dressed in black and coiffed outrageously, dancing to Bauhaus' seminal track "Bela Lugosi is Dead," Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart," amongst other doomy, angsty, deep cuts and non-hits. Going back to my hometown and dancing with old friends to great music was one of the highlights of 2015. Yes, I dressed in black.

Well, let's segue into the review. The Coloring Book For Goths is a humorous coloring book requiring only one color: black. Geared to the current coloring book fad, it has one joke. Once you color it in, the page turns completely, thoroughly black. Featuring crows, black widow spiders, pentagrams, coffins, and crypts, and making references to Edgar Allen Poe, Robert Smith, and Friedrich Nietzsche, the book often only makes a passing reference to the goth subculture.

Some pages are funny and clever – a page of Metallica lyrics, pages exploring oblivion, the unknown, and the unknowable – but there are just as many embarrassing pages that belie a rudimentary understanding of the culture. An insecure killer whale? A polar bear in witness protection? Embarrassing tattoos? Unfortunately, someone enveloped in the goth culture would probably never purchase this book, and tourists to the culture probably won't come away with a better understanding of it. It both embraces and pokes fun at the culture. Still, it was cute and made me snicker, because while we may have a serious demeanor, goths (and former goths) can take a joke.

My friend Mitch O’Connell (that’s O’Connell, the world’s greatest artist, not McConnell, the invertebrate fascist symp), sent me a cache of Trump Tijuana Bibles, secreted in Tony Schwartz’s 1987 book, The Art of the Deal. Tijuana Bibles are little 8-panel pornographic comic books that were popular during the Great Depression, and usually starred famous comic […]

My family came late to the Arrested Development series, and so we’ve been binge watching it on Netflix. The series is narrated by Ron Howard, and also narrates this very good Arrested Development: Star Wars sketch from The Star Wars Show. Spoilers, of course.

This ad, featuring happy people grinning in clinically perfect environments, is immeasurably improved by having its soundtrack replaced by remarks from comedian Bill Burr concerning his experience with the 3D-printed transparent braces. I found my way to it after reading this article about smarmy “free speech grifters” who decry political correctness while supporting the status […]

Ever wondered what it takes to make the transition from amateur photography to a full career? If you answered “a better camera,” you’re half right. Before you get the equipment, get the know-how to use it with the Hollywood Art Institute Photography Course & Certification. Taught by experienced pros, this course is geared towards shutterbugs […]

Anyone can learn piano, but don’t tell that to the bored kids who had to endure hours of “Chopsticks” and similar drills in their music lessons. Today, there’s a better way. Pianoforall lets you jump right in to discover what makes music fun, leaving you eager to learn more. In a simple but innovative approach, […]