Been away from journals for a couple months buddy so just catching up. I am chuckling to myself with the while 99kg is too much now, Glen said what I was thinking - that what was once considered a lean weight is now felt to be an excessive weight. Funny how the perspectives change once one has achieved anything close to decent condition.

I have only read back the Christmas stuff to catch up to where you are so will have missed it, which show are you targeting which is 19 weeks off, on quick mental calculations it sounds like you are planning on the Bodypower one

Hi mate. I know, it's mad how we change but I am currently disgusted with my thick skin!

It's not 19 weeks from now, it'll be 19 weeks from the unequipped national bench finals which are the end of March. It's the UKDFBA Southern Counties in August. A bit closer to home and another good venue. Also gives me the opportunity to do another show after if I fancy it with the UKDFBA or even the UKBFF Kent Klassic which is 2 weeks later to see how the classic class feels with the assisted fellas.

The main thing though is that I begin my prep after nationals having been fully engaged with a strict maintenance diet at around 3500 cals or more, with full strength in place and at no more than 97-98kg.

I'd have 19 weeks from that weight, strength and calorie balance to slowly chip away and hunt condition over scale-weight.

Really excited about it. I don't need a coach to get lean but I may seek advice for the last weeks as I intend to get down past where I was early and then be as full, lean and hard as I can.

Right now other than bench I'm targeting quad sweep, mid back thickness and arm size. I feel that's where I can make improvements and add to my delts etc. I'm also working on flexibility in my serratus and lats etc to allow a little more flare as I feel I'm a bit held back in the spread.

And the 2x140kg was a big lifetime PB for me on incline! Not been near it for a while and was nervous about getting 1 but the first was really easy and smooth so I went for 2 and got it.

Re the rest, I got a good pump and decided if I want bigger biceps I need stronger biceps. I will still get a good focused pump each week but I need a heavy sesh too.

First day on a nice clean diet today too. Not nailed down cals yet but sticking to a normal routine, just slightly larger and more flexible. Separating fats and carbs meal to meal too. Lean and carby or low carb and fatty meal to meal. Not both. Sadly that's the end of steak with potatoes. For a while.

No gym today in the end as one kid had to go to the docs and I had the others and it all got messed up. Instead, I went into a cup of tea and biscuits frenzy. Jesus, one bit each no matter how big they are, once I begin I am lost to the world. Over now though. I feel good and am looking forward to some beef tonight.

Had to miss floor press and triceps tonight. Legs and calves tomorrow.

I'm sure it'll just be a pain that heals if I don't try to do anything on it in the next day or two. Could become an injury if I push it too soon. It's underneath the delts between the anterior and medial heads. Real sensitive spot. So I imagine it's something to do with one of my rotator cuff insertions. Rest and proper warm up should be ok later.

I'm getting slightly put off the equipped nationals. They're 50 quid, hundred miles or so away, and barely any numbers seem to have entered. I may just deload then train up to the raw nationals which I am definitely doing.

Shoulder is on and off with pain. Bad when I prod the spot but I feel like I should to an extent. Some movements ok, some not. I did take position today and do one smooth and light rep overhead with 40kg though and it was ok with perfect form. I also benched and empty bar for a few reps and it was ok. In fact, today it was sore with stiff leg deads where the bar was tugging my arm in its socket. So I don't know what it is. Improving though. Question is, do I rest or test?

I'll keep this one brief as I'm doing some studying at present and need my train journey...

My back has gone beyond bad. It went wrong in the changing room at the gym before training on Monday, I don't know why or how, but everything currently wrong with it went mental. That evening I couldn't move, get up, flex or extend at the waist at all. For hours I was stuck. Then it got a little more mobile and throughout yesterday improved significantly. But it's still weird, worse than before and very concerning.

It made me realise, I don't want to spend my later years hobbling because I beat myself up so much. I'm going to have a think about changing this a little. I've still got a bench comp on its way but everything else. I need a little less time lifting bars, a little more keeping fit, stretching, working my core, massaging with rollers and balls, and just looking after myself. Instead of ignoring pain, lifting at the edge of my low rep capabilities, and not keeping on top of prehab.

I've really wanted to get back on the mat but judo is far from possible and BJJ wouldn't even be safe.

So the plan is this - other than bench stuff (which is going well, see below) - I am going to cut frequency slightly and instead insert cardio/core/swimming days. Im going to bite the bullet and see a physio. I'm going to pay a lot of attention to improving my range and mobility everywhere, and get rolling regularly. And I'm going to reduce the intensity and work instead on increasing rep strength and volume throughout my body.

I'm thinking some BB and diet time with the above rehab focus might be just what I need to heal up and still have something to work towards in improving condition.

Then, after the bench comp and when I'm healed I'll get back on the mat. But judo is just too dangerous for my back now, at least for a while. So I will go back to BJJ. I'll be from scratch as a white belt and learning again and it'll be great. Much less intensive for injuries as it's all floor based and although it's less cardio based than judo, it's great for flexibility and core strength. I'll have a new focus alongside physique and general strength work and can slowly heal myself and start again.

Anyway, whilst in pain before it got really bad, I did bench, chest and arms...

Very pleased to knock out 3 relatively straightforward singles with 165kg. Then to put the shirt on and have a go, 180kg went up, which is a big improvement over 170kg at my meet. Then 8x140kg after all that just cemented the fact that my benching us up close to it's all time best, even though I'm 11kg down on that weight.

It made me realise, I don't want to spend my later years hobbling because I beat myself up so much. I'm going to have a think about changing this a little. I've still got a bench comp on its way but everything else. I need a little less time lifting bars, a little more keeping fit, stretching, working my core, massaging with rollers and balls, and just looking after myself. Instead of ignoring pain, lifting at the edge of my low rep capabilities, and not keeping on top of prehab.

And I'm going to reduce the intensity and work instead on increasing rep strength and volume throughout my body.

Relate to all of that, mate. It's so easy to put off the stretching etc. but needs must. I regularly see a chiropractor now, try to keep to my stretching routines and generally try to think of the future a bit more.

Thanks mate, it's getting there finally. How are you doing? Not spoken to you for a while and am well out of touch with the journals as I'm using my train journeys for things at the moment.

Yeah it really scared me, I realised what life could be like permanently if I didn't use my brain. I'm so meticulous with my writing and work etc, and even my diet. But when it comes to prehab and injuries, I've just been gung ho since it didn't matter because I was young and now it will bite me badly if I don't protect myself.

I've got a whole new focus of health now, including sleep and regulating my nervous system with breathing, and just generally healing myself so I can get bendy and mobile again. I feel like a 50 year old man and not a healthy one. If I didn't do 5x100kg seated military press today I would believe it too! But I did. It was heavy though. I was seated because of the injuries and I tried it, it was fine for 5 reps but the pressure on my back and shoulder was a lot so I dropped back to 80 and then 60 and worked some reps.

Damn, sorry to read about the injuries mate. It sounds like a change of focus will certainly be of benefit. Like you said, got to be careful with these things. Still lifting some impressive weights mind!

I was just saying to Supersi (almost a straight lift from the text but a good journal update so thought I'd add it)...

I haven't updated my journal for ages. Found it better to just sit inside my head for this one. Got a lot going on too with Oz and career change etc so it's been busy.

But, I've been working the bench and supports up and everything has been going swimmingly.

To the point that I pause-benched 177.5kg last week without any issue!!!

I still weigh 100kg and have exceeded my 113kg PB. I'd already done an easy 170 and 175 and so kept going.

I put it down massively to floor presses (I do them on overhead day) and the Mark Bell Slingshot. They've sorted my whole sticking point out to the extent that if I almost come to a stop now, I can have a breath halfway up and then drive through instead of running out of steam.

Form too though. I've really learnt to engage my lats and throw it off before my pecs etc come into it, plus I've been doing a lot of work with thoracic extension which has made my arch better and curved in a better position to engage lats.

In the grand scheme of things, where I was doing 172.5@110, I was still 50-odd kgs off the class' top lifters who were hitting 220+ (Andy Rigby). Now I'm hitting 177.5@100 I'm only 15-odd kgs off of the -100 class' best of Harbans Bansal and Laurence Keen etc who press mid 190's.

With Nationals in 4 weeks, I don't know what to expect. My new goal is to get 180@99. That would be amazing. Where it would place me I don't know. It depends who turns up and how people do. I could come anywhere from 1st to 8th based on the lifts in the qualifiers this year. Which makes it nerve wracking and very exciting.

Really on it Beefy and the change of targets when moving through the classes is huge. Goes to show that to a degree, sometimes, the extra weight is really not beneficial and to be hitting above your previous pb, at 10% less bodyweight speaks loudly. See you on the weekend, and keep it up ya big bear