Across-the-Board (acrosstheboardblog.com)

This entertainment blog showcases crazy news, pictures, and celebrity gossip. Occasionally, I talk about my life as well. Consider it slapdash if you will, I prefer to describe my actions as... Across the Board. Updated whenever I feel like it.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Clever. Very Clever.

Man runs from police, on his wedding night?

A man is accused of leading police on a wild chase, causing three police cars to crash and nearly hitting five officers, all on his wedding night.

Police in Luzerne County said they chased the groom for 12 miles, at times going more than 80 miles an hour. Jake Zdanowicz, 22, of Nanticoke had nothing to say Sunday after his wild ride.

Investigators said Zdanowicz ran a red light near the Gateway Shopping Center in Edwardsville around 2 a.m. Sunday. Police tried pulling Zdanowicz over but he sped off on the North Cross Valley Expressway. An unmarked police car joined the chase in Dallas but the officer lost control of the cruiser.

The officer came to a smashing stop after hitting a parked car outside Dreir's Auto Sales. The officer wasn't hurt but the car took a beating. The unmarked police car went over a curb and down a hill, before smashing into the car in the dealership lot.

The chase came to an end at Harvey's Lake. Police said just before Zdanowicz was arrested, he managed to crash into two more police cars and almost ran over two police officers. He then took off running. Police caught him and think he was drunk. They said his speech was slurred and he smelled of alcohol. He was tested. Results are pending.

The groom is facing a slew of charges, including aggravated assault and a list of traffic violations. For now he will be spending the start of his honeymoon in jail.

Dude kills himself over size of his penis?

An 18-year-old Singaporean student committed suicide last month because he was convinced his penis was too small.

The teenager, who was not named, jumped from a building. A suicide note explained why, an investigation to determine the cause of death said.

"He said it was not due to the stress of his examination, but it was more about his physical development... He still knew there was something wrong with his body parts," said the report quoted by the newspaper.

It said the teenager had confided in his mother in October 2005 that he was worried about the size of his penis. She took him to a clinic where a doctor said it was normal for an Asian man and prescribed multi-vitamins.

State Coroner Tan said the boy's case showed that even in the age of the Internet when information can be easily obtained, "the less informed also become victims to junk information and worse, untruths."

One sexy dog pose...

Povich & his staff sued for sex harassment

A producer for TV talk-show host Maury Povich filed a $100 million sex harassment lawsuit against him and other members of his staff Monday, claiming they barraged her with sexual remarks and made her watch porno movies and expose her body.

Bianca Nardi, 28, of Fort Lee, N.J., says in court papers that the sexually charged atmosphere among the show's production staff was fostered by the "intimate and sexual relationship between defendants Maurice Richard Povich and Donna Benner Ingber."

"We are aware of the allegations of harassment made by Ms. Nardi. We have done a complete and thorough investigation of her allegations of harassment and we are satisfied that there is no merit to them," Rosen said. "We stand behind our experienced and dedicated staff, fully."

Ingber, who is also named as a defendant, "many times in an intoxicated condition, telephoned (Nardi's) residence at all hours of the late evening to discuss her personal relations with defendant Povich (and other men whom she was secretly seeing)" and to ask Nardi what staffers were saying about the relationship, court papers say.

Through the nearly six years of her employment, Nardi's court papers say, Paul Faulhaber, executive producer of "The Maury Povich Show," ordered her to wear short skirts, low-cut blouses and push-up bras. Faulhaber is also a defendant in the suit.Court papers say Faulhaber directed her to wear concealed cameras and microphones for undercover assignments "such as going to bars to secretly videotape married men agreeing to have sex with her."

Nardi complains in court papers that these activities were outside her job description but she was forced to comply for fear of being fired. Her lawsuit says that when she complained, Faulhaber retaliated by making her do other demeaning jobs.

Court papers say Faulhaber forced Nardi "to run a gauntlet of sexually abusive and intimidating conduct," including posing in sexually explicit positions, exposing her breasts and watching porn with Faulhaber.

Baron said Monday that Nardi has been in psychiatric treatment because of the harassment. He also said she gained 40 to 50 pounds because of the workplace stress. Article here.

Hyenas and Baboons as pets? Sweet!

School sends kids to closed amusement park

Four bus loads of students from O'Brien Middle School made the four-hour trip to Six Flags Marine World in Vallejo, Calif., only to find the amusement park's gates locked Monday. The school-sponsored trip was supposed to reward top students.

"It was pretty much a fiasco," said Washoe County School District spokesman Steve Mulvenon. "They ended up wasting a day that those kids could have better spent in class or doing what they were going to do at the park."

School officials said the $50 fee will be refunded, and the tour company that arranged the trip has agreed to pay for the next one. "The tour company neglected to check the schedule," Mulvenon said."It is just a bummer for the kids," said parent Jeff Wood. "Now, they will have to wait another month to go and a lot of the kids might not be able to go then."

This is awful. These kids sat in a school bus for four hours only to find out they couldn’t ride the kick-ass rollercoaster’s and each cotton candy? Bummer dude. Article here.

Here are some crazy coffins to be buried in

McDonald's is selling DVD's to go?

McDonald's is experimenting with a new venture- movie rentals.

The DVDs are dispensed from a big red vending machine about the size of a soda machine. The machines, run by McDonald's subsidiary Redbox Automated Retail, are being tried in Mickey D's in six cities in an experiment to see whether they drive more customers into the stores.

Each "Redbox" holds 500 disks and includes a touch screen so customers can pick a movie, and a credit-card reader for paying the $1-a-night fee. They don't take cash. Customers return the movies at the machine.

McDonald's came up with the idea in 2003. Rental chain Movie Gallery is experimenting with DVD rental machines, too, saying the machines will make rental transactions easier for customers and make its stores more efficient.

Hmmmm… so each day you don’t return the movie it costs $1? That's not too bad. I wonder if the way they decided that this business model would work is the correlation of obese people with movies. There’s probably a really high correlation. Which isn’t a hard to assume. Sad, but these dispenser machines might actually work. Article here.

Mmmmm... yummy!

Firefighter wins $464k on Deal or No Deal

Chicago firefighter Thorpe Schoenle won $464,000 on NBC's wildly popular "Deal or No Deal." It's the largest amount any contestant has won since the Howie Mandel-hosted surprise hit aired in December.

"It's awesome. You can hang your hat on something like that. It rocks. I played it about as perfectly as you can play that game," the 36-year-old Bridgeport native said.

"Deal or No Deal" is based on probability, guess work and elimination as contestants choose from 26 sealed briefcases that contain between a penny and one million dollars. Players can stick with the earnings in one of the model-toted briefcases or keep pressing their luck.

Schoenle, who was selected in a casting call, started off using a strategy by keeping his hands off of suitcases with the numbers relating to his children's ages, wife Kara's birthday and their anniversary date. But he had to abandon that plan and resort to his instincts as "things changed really fast."

It was hard to keep last month's taping secret, Schoenle admitted. But when his game-winning shows aired last week, he could finally gloat to his hometown pals. "It's going to be very hard to beat me. I think I'll be on top of the world for awhile," said Schoenle, a resident of the Southwest Side Garfield Ridge community.

Schoenle isn't planning on doing anything too wild with the money. He's thinking some wise investments and a family trip to Disney World will suffice for now. And he has yet to figure out when he has to pay taxes on his prize money, which will run about 40 percent. "The government definitely gets its share," Schoenle laughed. "It's kind of brutal."

Damn! I knew there were a lot of taxes taken for game show prize money, but 40% is a freakin’ whole heck of a lot. Somehow $464,000 turned into $232,000 isn’t nearly as glorious. It’s still a whole-lotta free money… so I’m not complaining. But I’m just saying… whatever. Article here.

"So is a unicorn just a horse that has one horn sticking out of its head? Oh."

"I’d rather massage a chick with pudding."

"We’re getting a cat and we’re naming it taint."

"You should send her a text message and say that you want to rub her down with
applebutter"

"Never send a girl carnations unless you want her to say, 'Crap, I got
carnations.'"

"I've decided photos of girls on boats are sexier than photos of girls on the
beach."

"I’m worried that I’m going to run out of people to ask to be friends on Facebook."

"Eat it with your hands it's tomato-saucy!"

"I hate when movies try to make food visually stimulating."

"She's been living for 16 years in KY jelly./Yeah, that can't be good on your
eyebrows"

"I think pregnant ladies are scary"

"I think we should wait till it's late./When we get back it will be late./Exactly"

"The party is at Jerry's Bait Shop! OH-OH"

"I can't, I have to start studying for a final I have in two days... and I haven't even
taken the book out of the saran wrap."

"I don’t have to ask her for permission, I just have to persuade her to let me."

"You should have paddled him with your penis at his wedding!"

"Jeez-la-weez!"/Did you really just say Jeez-la-weez?"

"Listen here bucko!/Did you really just say bucko?"

"[Ramsey barges into Paul’s house and interrupts a group of people watching a serious
movie with the lights dimmed], “Paul you’re such a damn liar, and you smell like ham” –
Drunk Ramsey after the Rascal Flatts concert

"(calling me from the casino buffet) Dude -- quit screen your calls, I wanted to tell
you about the crazy amount of food I ate, I seriously, you’re probably going to think this
is an exaggeration but it’s not. [excited] I ate two steaks, probably about 35 shrimp, a
thing of carved turkey, a baked potato crab, a crab rangoon, some fried rice, two rolls, and
a teeny piece of pie at the end. Fucking most food I’ve ever eaten -- this place is fuckin’
[short pause] we have got to start coming here on Thursdays! Anyways, I’ll be home in a
little bit, later bye."

"Birth control is the best invention ever... [pause], so are condoms"

"So I've been thinking of taking up smoking as a hobby..."

"You would of been funny in the 80's"

"I wonder what T.J. Ford is up to?"

"You made out with him because you wanted to feel his suede jacket? That's awesome."