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Now That He's Screwed Us For the 58th Time...

Welcome to Hope n' Change 2.0!

In the face of a collapsing economy, rampant unemployment, and global instability, Barack Hussein Obama took office in 2008 promising Hope and Change. The "Hope" thing didn't really work out, but we got plenty of "Change" as everything got worse. And now, the jug-eared jackass has a second term.

That's why at Hope n' Change Cartoons, we're creating conservative smartaleckry to provide a little laughter in these strange times. Cartoons will probably be posted Monday and Wednesday, and definitely on Friday. Additionally, cartoons and graphics will be posted randomly on our Facebook page and Friday we'll add the week's postings right here to kick around in one of the greatest comments sections on the Web.Note: please feel free to repost our cartoons on your favorite blogs!

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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Because there weren't already enough reasons to smash our heads into our desks until we see stars, hear chirping birds, and spill our coffee and/or whiskey, commentator Juan Williams has just produced an editorial in which he outlines the new racist codewords being used by the GOP.

Mind you, these aren't the highly-offensive old racial epithets used by Stephen Foster, the Ku Klux Klan, and every rapper in America. No, these are new "top secret" racial insults which are meant to fly under the radar by bigots who don't support Barack Hussein Obama.

For instance, Juan says that when Mitt Romney refers to our "entitlement society," it's racist. When Newt Gingrich refers to our "food stamp president" (who just offered a $75,000 bounty for new ideas to add more people to the food stamp rolls) it's racist.

It's also racist when Newt uses the phrase "poor work ethic," but it was not racist when Barack Obama referred to Americans as "lazy."

And it gets worse. It turns out that any words or phrases which are frequently used by conservatives are, by definition, racist codewords. For instance, Williams cites "old-fashioned American values," "Founding Fathers," and "Constitution" as being terms which should not be used in polite company or political debate.

As much as all of this seems like insanity (note: add "insanity" to the list of racist codewords), it isn't only Juan who is attacking conservative Freedom of Speech (oops - there's another one!)

So widespread is this phenomenon - which will only grow as November approaches - that noted MSNBC lunatic Chris Matthews has given it a name: "dog whistle racism," which nobody can hear except liberals with super-keen powers of detection.

Which is how Matthews was able to pick up on yet another new racist codeword, which was shockingly uttered by KKK Grand Wizard Newt Gingrich on live television.

Be honest now. You saw this coming, right? Since Obama (racist code-word?) has nothing to show for which you can vote, you must vote against any and all Republicans because they are all racist. A vote for Republicans is a vote for dead black folk hanging from trees. Gimme that old time white-guilt religion. It's good enough for me.

Didn't I say earlier that Juan Williams is nothing if he isn't one of the useful idiots? That's just the liberal mantra talkin'. Ain't Juan. He must have someone's hand up his ass, making his mouth move...

I'd attempt to answer Juan...oops...can't use his first name since race-baiting-whore Jesse says it's racist to use Mr. Williams' first name alone...

So, as for Mr. Williams.....no, can't say that either since "Williams" is most obviously not a name of African-ethnic origin, hence by very definition unforgivably racist.

Hmm.....

Guess that about sums up what the Libs have to bring to the fair-and-open debate process -- non-Libs are forbidden to say anything contradictory in order to demonstrate their commitment to bipartisanship (otherwise known as Obama's shut up and sit in the back of the bus/car/oxcart invitation to the process).

I once tried to have a conversation with a certain Juan Pena, a man who wrote his name with a tilde-squiggle over his "n" -- and insisted I pronounce his name Peen-ya, to get that Spanish flavor, he being Mexican. And well, so I said "OK, Senor Peen-ya, I then insist on HLA-vatch for my name's pronunciation in the original Czech, and I'd like my Czech squiggles above my letters, too. And don't forget to pronounce that H, Senor." He averred that that was not possible, for that was "racist" to impose my European roots on his glorious Mexicanness. And I was like, "um, how is Spanish not European?" He could provide no answer except I was racist. And so the conversation never got beyond his complaint I was racist, and some imperialist white guy, while he was a fine Latino. It's absurd, and these liberals know no bounds in their absurdity. And now Juan Williams', a cross-cultural man, very name is "racist"? Egads. All I want to do is talk bluntly and not in code at all, about eliminating the convoluted tax code and getting rid of a few bureaucracies and solving the deficit -- and I'm racist code-talker now? Yikes!

Meanwhile, last week a Black Gay Republican was nominated for the New Jersey Supreme Court by Gov. Christie. How did that happen? I'm sure a liberal would say it's racist for some reason or another, and I'll reach for the vodka.

@Coon Tasty- Per your reference to David Howard, in Dallas (where I live) a very similar incident happened. A white City employee remarked that a budget item was niggardly and was subsequently fired, even though the word has no relation to the racial epithet, and the man used it correctly, in context, and with no intent of being racially offensive.

By the way, it's not lost on me that I'm having a discussion about "terms that seem racially offensive but actually aren't" with someone using the name "Coon Tasty." (Which I'll repeat, is a very popular Australian cheese product which was developed by a lovely, non-racist gentleman named Dr. Coon.)

@Angry Hoosier Dad- Not only did I (and the rest of us) see this coming, but this is only the first moist breeze before the racial hurricane hits us in the teeth as November approaches. Eric Holder and Barack Obama are both already out there stoking the fires of racism, white liberals like Bill Maher and Sean Penn openly use the word "nigger" when discussing what they wish Tea Partiers were saying, and it's only going to get worse.

@Emmentaler- Somehow, I think Juan actually believes this crap. Because if a cabal of evil racists isn't holding down black Americans, then why is their plight so bad despite all of the government programs? Since that leads to conclusions that Williams and other liberals can't accept, they're forced to invent a new racism which is invisible, inaudible, and detectable only on Ouija boards.

@Chris- You illustrate a great point: the whole idea is to force conservatives into a position where we can't say anything about anything without it being "racist." One of the tropes currently being popularized among liberals: "People who claim not to be racists are racists, otherwise they wouldn't have to deny it." And again, I wish I was kidding...but I'm not.

@Jim Hlavac- Helpful to get a pronunciation guide to your last name. I've mentally been ending it with a hard "k" sound instead of a "ch" - not because I'm anti-Czech, but because I originally come from Indiana (where we have 53 different words that mean "corn").

I enjoyed your anecdote about the cultural battle of tildes and umlauts (or other squiggly things). Wouldn't it be nice if these cultural differences could simply be interesting to share and discuss instead of being used as political battlelines? Too many people have grown used to (and dependent upon) the power that comes from being offended...and so will do anything necessary to be offended.

That's a problem that predates Barack Obama, but he's done everything in his considerable power to make it a helluva lot worse.

@CenTexTim- I think you're still okay saying "pot" since so many liberals use it when describing their recreational habits, but "kettle" will still get your racist ass sent to Guantanamo Bay if you're not careful. Such language is only used by blaggards.

What I continue to find incredible is that people see what they (choose to) perceive as "anti - Islam" sentiment / action and call THAT 'racist'... since when is ISLAM a freaking RACE, dammit? Now, it may indeed be biased, bigoted and prejudicial, but it sure as hell ain't RACIST. When the hell did words stop meaning things? GRR!!

I dusted off my copy of the liberal progressive application programming study guide - here is an excerpt of the final exam that may be applicable to the subject at hand:

It has come to my attention of late that nothing has come to my attention of late... This might imply that I am primarily:

a) Interrupt driven, with a hardware timer 'sanity check' trigger feature which ensures that I awaken every second and concern myself with all things not my business when not reacting to perceived injustices.b) In a recursive loop searching the table of trouble for inappropriate routines to rail against.c) Neutrally unstable in a vacuum, which is the fault of my parents and George W. Bush.d) All of the above, but conditionally and in accordance with those rules of English that cannot be resolved algorithmically.

On my keyboard, every key is a HOT key. By this one might conclude that:

a) Sensible communication would be difficult, as each keystroke might invoke applications and functions totally unrelated to the data being entered.b) Complex issues would have to be reduced to iconic representations to avoid misunderstandings implicit in 'a' above.c) The meaning of any answers gleaned from my video interface would be subject to change at any time, as the question may prove too insensitive for proper consideration after the fact, as implied by 'a' and 'b' above.d) All of the above, but conditionally and in accordance with those rules of English that cannot be resolved algorithmically.

On my LAN, processing capacities of all connected workstations would be assessed and taxes levied against all unrealized potential on a per-second basis (PUPS). The resulting revenue would be burned to generate a constant smoke screen. On questions relating to productivity and common sense, my answers might be:

a) Users are losers, they deserve marginal, buggy software at a premium price.b) Programming is an art, and thus highly subjective - imposition of minimum standards is insensitive and blatantly racist. c) Screw you, I'm a liberal progressive, and I can suck with impunity while demanding perfection.d) All of the above, but conditionally and in accordance with those rules of English that cannot be resolved algorithmically.

All this will work against Obama because let's face it, 99.9% of non-blacks voted for Obama just so America can put this race crap behind us. It of course didn't work because a day after the election, The anti-Rev. Jackson said it didn't change a thing and that America is still racist, to which I agree. After all, all the racist in the DNC proved they were racist with the way they handled Cain. So now there is no motive for White America to vote for Obama because no mater what White America does they will always be the victim of the Race Card. Now when I see the City of Detroit elect a White Mayor then America will be a Non-Racist country.

Needless to say, "speech codes" are specifically designed to eliminate debate or criticism of the leftist agenda, or its cohorts. It also makes life easy for the useful idiots as it absolves them of any threat of actually having to think for themselves.

Meanwhile at MSNBC, it turns out that it's perfectly OK to call anyone who votes against the northeastern liberal intellectual establishment a "cracker".

If the person youre runnng against is a minority, everything you say is racially motivated..and if youre running against a female, everything you say is sexually motivated...conservatives cannot win in these arenas without being very clever. It is where we are at, sad so say.Isn't it a bit unnerving to hear that almost half of the total voters will still back Obama no matter what? It's a real uphill deal for the GOP.

I read an article somewhere online about 4 or 5 months ago that said straight-out that Barack Hussein and the Demo_rats would play the race card for all it's worth this year, because that's the only trick they have. I am somewhat surprised they are playing it this hard this soon. I am REALLY hoping it backfires on them.

@Pete(Detroit)- Apropos of nothing, let me sidetrack to say that I loved Marjorie Main's portrayal of Ma Kettle, and you've reminded me to get out my DVD collection and watch those movies again (and Percy Kilbride as "Pa" was great too).

As you point out, it's now "racist" to say anything which could be offensive to any group of people whether they're a "race" or not. Unless, of course, they're Tea Partiers.

@Mike Porter- It sounds like you really have laid your hands on the Liberal playbook, in all of its complex incomprehensibility!

@Anonymous- It will be really interesting to see what will happen now that Obama can't lay claim to the "White guilt" vote, or the votes of people who hoped he'd at least attempt to be a racial healer instead of a race-baiting radical. Even I, with my conservatism and cynicism (which are two very different qualities) hoped that he could at least open honest dialogue. But he has been pure poison to the cause of genuine equality and harmony between races. It's hard to say if that's what he should eventually be most ashamed of, but it should damn well be near the top.

@Kharn- One thing you've got to say for Liberals, they're good at inventing new words and phrases even if they never actually mean anything useful.

@John the Econ- Oh sure, "cracker" is okay, as is "redneck" (which implies you're not only a stupid SOB, but you're actually engaged in manual labor). I'm pretty sure that "Bible banger" is still considered okay in polite Liberal society, too. It would be funny how much Liberals cling to the need to stereotype people if they didn't use the same mindset to treat black citizens as sub-humans who need to be kept and cultivated rather than respected as equals and individuals.

@Pryorguy- I've sometimes had fantasies about making our candidates for president run their campaigns from inside large cardboard boxes with voice disguisers, so no one knows their race, sex, or age. I know it's not realistic, but it would be a damn sight better than the song-and-dance we're going through now.

@mlester101- The hypocrisy in the media is one of the things that will put me in an early grave. Mind you, it won't kill me outright - but it's getting to the point that I'd still be willing to sit in an open grave for a couple of hours a night rather than watch the news.

@JustaJeepGuy- Trust me, we haven't seen the start of the racial ugliness that's coming. But it's a fight that I think is overdue. Personally, I don't think the slavery of entitlements is any more acceptable than the slavery of the plantations, and if there's going to be war I'll take my comfort from being on the right side.

@Stilton: Yaaaaaa-yeah - you'd mentioned that before when I had criticized FOX for giving this dullard so much airtime.

To your defense of socialist Juan, personally, I think they ALL believe the horse shit they spew, but that is no excuse, nor does it give them a "pass". I'm pretty sure Karl Marx, Joseph Stalin, Vladimir Lenin, Mao Tse Tung, Adolph Hitler, Fidel Castro, and Barack Øbama believe(d) their ideologies (pretty much the same one), too. Perhaps their legacy is due to having been totally corrupted by the power that came from their exercise of their ideology. Or, perhaps their legacy was simply them acting out their ideology? To put my position on those like Juan in perspective, how about this analogy: not believing you are a filthy, murderous bastard, but that you are somehow ridding the world of an evil by, say, killing millions of Jews does not change the fact that you're a filthy, murdering bastard. That Juan and his ilk are bent on murder is not my point. That they are bent on destroying the very foundations of our country - whether for misguided, altruistic reasons, or for nefarious reasons - is the issue, and, in this regard, Juan can share the same cell with any of our favorites.

Oh - and it's "Bible thumper". I'm not entirely comfortable with what "Bible banger" implies, since I'm not British :o)

@Mike Porter: LAN option a) sounds an awful lot like Microsoft's beta testing policy - ie, roll it out to the user community and listen to the tormented screams to find the bugs. Patches are prioritized by the results of said torment: those that cause death by apoplexy and heart attack must be addressed first, as they are reducing your consumer base. Those that cause catatonia are labelled as "features" as that is precisely the state they wish the entire user community to be in.

In any case, you'd better watch out lest they bash you for infringing on their patented process. (Wait, no- they'd have to use - heaven forbid!- linux to bash you, per se. I guess I meant they'll sue you...)

I'm not sure they all believe what they spew. The reality is that many talking heads make a pretty good living doing what they do. I have no doubt that there are quite a few who consciously serve up what they think people want to hear over what they really believe because doing an honest job would pay a whole lot less.

@Emmentaler- When it comes to Juan, perhaps I'm guilty of the soft bigotry of low expectations. So let me show him the basic human dignity of saying he's a moron.

I'll still maintain that there's a slight moral distinction between those liberals who believe what they're saying, versus those who are just skilled at using populist rhetoric and spin to achieve their goals.

That being said, and to borrow your Nazi analogy, at the point someone rams a bayonet through your gizzard it doesn't make much difference if they're pure evil or just deluded. You're still screwed.

@John the Econ- I'll guarantee you that Barack Obama knows that Warren Buffet pays more in taxes than his secretary, but happily lies about it anyway. I think there are scads of liberal politicians and talking heads who know the games they're playing.

@Mike Porter- If you need a character witness at that trial, I'm sure that a lot of us are willing to testify that you're a character.

It would be interesting what Freud would have to say on these nut cases. I believe he had a term for their kind of behavior - Projection. For the amount of time they seem to spend digging up this race card, one would have to conclude that they are almost obsessed with it. Whether it's addiction or hobby, they seem to either love or are compelled to bring about racial tensions. Yet, with as much fervor as they keep bringing it up, they continually deny it in themselves, all the while projecting blame elsewhere.

On a side note - this gives me an opportunity to quote one of my favorite fiction/fantasy authors: 'Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon Đ he'd run them all. Later, when he learned with some surprise what the word actually meant, he'd been equally certain he wasn't one. He was a person who divided the world quite simply into people who were trying to kill him and people who weren't. That didn't leave much room for fine details like what color anyone was.' - Sir Terry Pratchett

The game is all in the name of getting us to argue about the "fine details" while we ignore the larger issues looming over head. Sadly, for some they just can't reason their way out of this paper bag.

On another topic - The Catholic Church in America has openly taken a stand against some of Obama's policies: http://www.businessinsider.com/here-is-the-anti-obama-administration-letter-that-was-read-to-almost-every-catholic-sitting-in-church-today-2012-1

@Stilton: So let me show him the basic human dignity of saying he's a moron.

If I could afford the price of an afternoon cup of coffee in this economy, I would have spewed it from both mouth and nose at this, scalding my sinuses severely, and ruining a perfectly not-yet-worn-out white shirt. Thank you, Øbama, for ensuring I could not afford that coffee...

@John the Econ: I agree. In fact, I have it on good authority that many in Gollywood who profess a love for flinging wealth to the Money Grinder in WDC for universal dispersion amongst the worthy actually only talk that way in public. Moore, Clooney, and that idiot who thinks he's an oceanic expert because he did The Titanic (and select others unworthy of serious mention) excepted, of course.

@Stilton: In any case, looking at your comments through the lens of this previously-ignored perspective, I see what you're sayin' - however, I'm still unwilling to give him a pass. It's that bayonet thing, dontchaknow. I can't get myself over the concept that though the Hitler Youths were firm in their newfound beliefs, they were still Hitler Youths doing Hitler Things to Hitler Enemies in and about their own towns. Doesn't matter whether you're the Brain Washer or the Brain Washee: your goals become the same.

@ Jim Hlavac:While my own last name is only three letters and hard to get wrong in any language, I will start demanding, in loud, obnoxious tones, that my wife's maiden name (Puchala - go ahead, I dare you to pronounce it right...no, the "c" is silent) start being pronounced with the "l" sounding like a "w" because it has that little diagonal line through it that's only found on Polish typewriters. Oh, and put that damned diagonal line through it or there will be hell to pay, ya hear?

It is patently obvious to the discerning observer that the 'talking points' come from a central source..."OK, guys, today we accuse the right of being racist again; everyone study the talking points so we're all coming from the same direction!"

I mean, if you watch a few interviews with lefties on tv, THEY ALL SAY THE SAME THING VERBATIM!

Hi.,,,,,,This is the only thing I could think to post that couldn't be construed as racist. Then I realized that I might be accused of implying that black people get "hi."

I don't care what you say, it will be wrong in the ears of a progressive, and they will twist it like a pretzal.

Hear ye, hear ye all liberals, Democrats and progressives. I am NOT a racist; I want Obama gone because he obviously does not love his country. I could give a rat's ass what color he is, and have the same opinions of Saul Alinsky, Nancy Pelosi, Barney Frank, George Soros and a thousand other WHITE people who also hate this country.

@Christopher Ross- I think you're on to something with your notion that liberals suffer from extreme cases of Freudian projection. They think of African-Americans as being less capable, less intelligent, and less able to handle adult responsibilities (and the liberals are invested in believing this in order to feel heroic about "helping" these poor creatures). BUT...they can't admit that these are their thoughts, and so they project their own racism on others who, ironically enough, actually believe in - and fight for - racial equality.

I liked the quote from Terry Pratchett, and think we could all do a lot worse than using Rincewind's method of sorting people.

Finally, regarding Obama and the Catholic church, I'll be touching on that in Friday's cartoon and commentary.

@Emmentaler- Hey, I'm not asking anyone to give Juan a pass (especially in light of this nonsense). It doesn't matter if someone tries to shut me up shouting "racist!" because they're evil (Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton spring to mind), ignorant (paging Juan Williams), a venal political hack (Hi, Mr. Holder!), or just a despicable shitstain of a human being (Bill Maher! Come on down!) - it's unacceptable...and way past time to fight back aggressively.

And by the way, who else is sick of hearing Democrats (of any race) declare that black conservatives aren't really black?

Hang on...I need to take a deep cleansing breath. Man, does this topic get me riled up.

@Angry Hoosier Dad- I think it's time that we all showed our nationalistic and/or racial pride by creating our own pronunciations of every name...with proper outrage when others get it wrong.

I'm reminded of an old Monty Python sketch:

Interviewer: Good evening. I have with me in the studio tonight one of the country's leading skin specialists, Raymond Luxury Yacht.

@Proper Pronunciation - I have been LONG used to my name being (lightly) mangled. I had a college prof reading roll pronounce it (correctly, per my cousins) as 'buss-ee', rather than dad's adoption of 'buss-ah.' I said 'actually, YES' and still wonder who the hell he knew, that he knew how to pronounce it 'correctly'...

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