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>>>my husband of 15 years left 3months ago with of all people an exotic dancer to put it nicely i have found my indepedance and inner strengh and all those things but i still cry everyday for me and my son how long has it been for you because even though i feel better i dont now that i will ever be cvompletly healed not even by time i think there is always a scar its like i am in remission and ready to live again but not cured i dont know does anybody know how long it takes or what it takes to get better. good luck to everyone else who feels this way it sucks <<<

My heart breaks for you Lonelygirl..and for all who are hurting. There's no telling how long it will take Lonelygirl, the wounds are so fresh now. Take your son and go do some things for you.

I am a young mother of three. My ex was very violent. When he got in trouble the last time he put his hands on me, he blamed me and told me it was over. I do not have any income right now, I do not have a place of my own, I am living with my parents again. I cannot understand why I gave my whole heart to him, and he rejected me and hurt me. I am living in a different town, I have no friends near me. I do not have much. but when I think of the unconditional love my children give me, I know they will no longer see the bad in life. I have been feeling alot of emotions here lately. I try to hide them so no one will think I am weak. I would love to get a support group togather. I appreciate the older and wiser giving me adviceI can't eat, sleep, or just get out and soul search. I drink coffee with my mom, and try to find all the services available to get me and the kids out on our feet again. I will pray for you all and wish you the best of luck in the future. pebbles

What I do when I get such feelings is to remind myself I must just simply "Be"...as opposed to "Want". Wanting leaves you too much in a state of "my life lacks purpose" which is the complete opposite of the truth. Act as though you already have everything you want or need... "Fake it 'till you make it!". You may surprise yourself with the results!!

Ah Ms. Elegance, the lessons in life are sorely learned, aren't they? I've been married twice and twice the guy up and left me for someone else. Believe me, I know what pain is. Now, I'm 51, single now for almost 8 months again after 16 years of wedded bliss (so I thought). In the beginning, you think your world is just going to explode like your heart. You go through this grieving process that has about 3 levels. First, you cry and plead for another chance, then you get angry and hate the **stard with everything you have. The last phase is the best one......You don't care anymore. Now, that takes a while to get to, but it does happen eventually. You just have to help it along. Get out there and date, even if your heart isn't in it. Eventually, it will be. When you see that someone else thinks you are attractive, sexy, fun to be with, you will start to believe it too. It's not something you can snap your fingers on and it happens. But, with hard work, you can forgive the person who hurt you and go on with your life. You will actually begin to enjoy having that bed to yourself. I never thought that would be possible, but it is. I get to watch anything on t.v. that I want. I take a shower whenever I please. If I don't feel like doing the dishes, I don't. I have total freedom to do whatever I want and I don't have to answer to anyone for anything. I love being a girlfriend. Never a wife. Why should I take care of another man again? Nah, I'll take care of me and my two teens. That's enough. Just trust in yourself and put yourself out there with people who care about you. You will heal, I guarantee it. Good luck, honey. I know it hurts, but it will stop eventually. Have faith in God and yourself.

Where do you live? I'm from Philadelphia, PA. If you aren't too far, we could get together and shoot the breeze sometimes. Even if you aren't close, we can always use the phone, right? We all need friends we can count on. I know I'm older than you, but we have a shared experience that trancends time and age, don't you think? Let me know if you want to correspond or not, ok? Take care and know you have more friends out here than you know of.

Hi, Your not weak at all. This is like rebirth for you, and now (for now) your living outside of a familiar comfort zone. When your alone, its easy to start craving someone, including the person you just left.

Things will get better. This is a great opportunity. First I suggest starting a journal, what were your dreams, can you get back to any of them and make them come true? Try new things that you have never done before. Go to a conference, go protest the war in DC this weekend. Join a club. Start exercising. Or Reading. There are tons of things, to do and Mr.right will eventually come to you and you'll be lonely no more.

I totally disagree, "wanting" is what brings change to peoples lives. "Accepting" what you have is selling yourself short. "Don't fake it,until you make it." For instance there are 2 kinds of people in this world: Those that make things happen, and those that have things happen to them.

However I do appreciate your positivitiy and that fact that your a total cutey.

wow, mealzonwheels, you put my unhappiness into perspective for me. I wanted to tell Ms 25 that she was too young to worry about being alone forever, and sit here and feel sorry for myself. Turns out lots of people have challenges AND good attitudes to boot. There is a saying, and it may sound cheezy or cliche, but here it is "If you have your health, you have everything"Arrrghhh, doesnt really help the frickin Friday nights alone does it.

Your husband left you for an exotic dancer?He is trash ..........through him to the curb............oh yah he's already with the curb...........wish him well........cause he's going to h---!Come out with me and you won't remember his name!!!

**I find myself cuddled in a blanket at night alone and praying that someone will come into my life? Or am I weak?**

The desire to have someone to just even touch, or the wonderfulness to 'spoon' during the night can be real hard to deal with. Sometimes a pillow is my best friend. I also can get these 'downer' thoughts during the day. You have a lot of company with your feelings.

**I find myself cuddled in a blanket at night alone and praying that someone will come into my life? Or am I weak?**

The desire to have someone to just even touch, or the wonderfulness to 'spoon' during the night can be real hard to deal with. Sometimes a pillow is my best friend. I also can get these 'downer' thoughts during the day. You have a lot of company with your feelings.

**I find myself cuddled in a blanket at night alone and praying that someone will come into my life? Or am I weak?**

The desire to have someone to just even touch, or the wonderfulness to 'spoon' during the night can be real hard to deal with. Sometimes a pillow is my best friend. I also can get these 'downer' thoughts during the day. You have a lot of company with your feelings.

You are not alone. We have all been hurt and made to feel like we were in a potentially wonderful relationship while we were not...

life is full of learning lessons (that hurt) ...time to reflect and getting to know yourself first is mandatory. Look before you leap...so that you know he may be worthwhile. If the next guys you meet do not add up - hopefully you have met some friends.

If you catch any red flags while dating or hear any negative remarks that bother you, then keep on moving forward. Mr. Right will come along one day. when the time is right, and Mr. Rightnow will not be able to make you feel so jaded since he never could have what he wanted from you!

well thank you all for your support, I just read all the new posts. I have been out working m butt off....I think that sometimes helps you to forget whats going on in your life. Work hard and your so tired you have no time to sit here and feel bad...damn I am tooo tired to care right now.......okay I lied cause I want to cuddle....

moma's need a gal friend who will be there for u...let me know...maybe together we can help

each other heal through support and love....its just an idea.] Yes iI do need a gal friend right now. My heart just got majorly beating up on. I was in love I thought more than I loved my ex. And it sucks! He is now living with a 17 year old.