Saturday, January 30, 2010

The effects of temperature change

The effects of temperature change At +40°C the Scots see the sun for the first time and climb in their fridges.At +30°C most British hit the beaches, while the rest are stuck in traffic jams trying to get to the beach.At + 20°C the Greeks are putting on their jumpers (if they can find them).At + 15°C the Jamaicans turn the heating on (if they have it, of course).At + 10°C the Californians start trembling because of the cold. The Russians are planting cucumbers in their dacha gardens.At + 5°C your breath is visible. Italian cars don’t want to start. The Norwegians go swimming in the lake.At 0°C in America water gets frozen. In Russia water gets denser. At - 5°C French cars won’t start. At -10°C Geordies wear their tops at football matches.At - 15°C your cat insists on sleeping in your bed. The Norwegians put their jumpers on. At - 17.9°C in Oslo house owners turn the heating on. The Russians go to their dachas for the last time in the season. At - 20°C American cars don’t want to start.At - 25°C German cars don’t want to start. Jamaicans died out.At - 30°C governments start being concerned about the homeless. The cat sleeps in your pajamas. The Russians complain about the weather; it’s too warm for winter.At - 35°C in America it becomes too cold to think. Japanese cars don’t want to start.At - 40°C you’re planning not to leave a hot bath for 2 weeks. Swedish cars don’t want to start.At - 42°C European transport slows to a stand still. The Russians eat ice-cream in the streets.At - 45°C the Greeks died out. Governments legislate for the homeless.At - 50°C eye-lids become frozen while you’re blinking. In Alaska they close their windows while having a shower.At - 60°C polar bears migrate south.At - 70°C Hell freezes over.At - 73°C Finnish Special Forces evacuate Santa from Lapland. The Russians put on their hats (uszanka).At - 80°C the Russians don’t take off their gloves, even while pouring vodka. At - 100°C vodka freezes; the Russians are pissed off. They start drinking ethanol.At - 105°C reports of ethanol shortages in Russia. The Russians are angry.At - 114°C ethanol freezes; the Russians start playing Russian roulette.