As another example, he got mad at my sister last week and had her cell phone shut off without telling her. He didn't even stop to think of her safety (like when she is getting off work at 2:30 in the morning and driving home, or when she takes the kids to visit our dad who lives over an hour away and the route takes them through very rural areas).

...It sounds like the fact that he is looking for some emotional support through facebook, should be the last of your worries. The cellphone thing strikes me as a very controlling thing to do... and the fact that he CAN have her cell phone shut off without telling her, sounds like an unhealthy thing to me. I hope there are not too many other things that should be in her name but are in his, giving him power over various aspects of her life. On second thoughts, I would not hide him from my feed. One can always hope that if he makes any strange plans (like running off with all the money or so), he will be dumb enough to post about it on beforehand...

Sorry if I am overthinking this. It's just that his power over her cellphone made go off some alarmbells in my head. Maybe you should call her and go over some things together, to see how she can protect herself as well as possible? (financially etc I mean?)

Hobish, oh gosh no, I'm not mad at my sister. I talked to her yesterday and she told me that they may be splitting up. She told me that BIL had an appointment with their counselor today, so it sounded like a split was imminent. I'm not surprised by the split. I just think it was really uncool of him to "announce" it on FB before she had a chance to tell people closest to her, personally. He is acting very impulsively and he needs to stop and think about other people. As another example, he got mad at my sister last week and had her cell phone shut off without telling her. He didn't even stop to think of her safety (like when she is getting off work at 2:30 in the morning and driving home, or when she takes the kids to visit our dad who lives over an hour away and the route takes them through very rural areas). Or that he was going to pick up the kids from our dads, take them home and start packing his stuff (because I'm sure it would be very beneficial for their 4yo twins to watch him pack up?) Hopefully, he will soon get a clue.

This doesn't relate to your main point, but I was told that even a deactivated/out of minutes celle phone can still be used to call 911. I just wanted to mention that as a safety issue.

Well, it looks like there is no need for me to say anything to him about the fb updates. Their counselor told him that she thought it was bad form (not sure of her exact words). They had an emergency appointment this afternoon and when my sister brought it up and he was asked why he put that up, he said something about needing support from his friends (legit, but maybe a private phone call would be better?). The counselor asked him how that was working out for him, which he admitted it wasn't working out so well. She suggested he not post those types of things anymore.

I would suggest the you de-friend him, then you won't have to see his updates at all. FB etiquette is in its infancy and everyone seems to have a different set of internal guidelines about how he or she thinks FB should be used. Personally, I don't share much personal information and I certainly don't post there when I need emotional support, but I have plenty of friends who do post for that reason. I don't think they are wrong and I am right - we just use it differently.

I think some people behave stupidly on their FB pages - and all this ranting by STBXBIL could very well come back to haunt him (suggest to your sister that she print out his rantings - you just never know when they may come in handy in a legal battle!) - but the easiest solution is to de-friend him and then be there to support sis.

Well, it looks like there is no need for me to say anything to him about the fb updates. Their counselor told him that she thought it was bad form (not sure of her exact words). They had an emergency appointment this afternoon and when my sister brought it up and he was asked why he put that up, he said something about needing support from his friends (legit, but maybe a private phone call would be better?). The counselor asked him how that was working out for him, which he admitted it wasn't working out so well. She suggested he not post those types of things anymore.

I bet that a lot of people have criticized him.

I'm glad you didn't post anything, but if you hadn't been able to help yourself, perhaps "You do realize that this status just got posted to the newsfeeds of all of the rest of us, right?"