12:37 p.m. — A caller from the 200 block of South School Street reported someone continues to set up a chair and computer in a carport.

[The scourge of carport computing continue to threaten.]

4:32 p.m. — A caller from the 200 block of Dorsey Drive reported a drunken man took a syringe and left, carrying a beer.

[Great ambiguity! Did he steal the beer as well, or was that his to start with?]

12:37 a.m. — A caller from the 10000 block of Leecrest Court reported three people with guns were trying to break into a residence. The caller was found to have been hallucinating due to medications.

[A hallucination oddly specific in its ability to provoke a police response.]

6:01 p.m. — A woman from Ridge Road reported hearing a gunshot from the entrance to Mautino Park. Another caller reported hearing an explosion at Mautino Park. The Fire Department investigated and found they were not needed. Public Works was advised to check out the nearby water plant.

[Now I want to know what goes on at the water plant.]

1:36 a.m. — A man from the 800 block of East Main Street reported a girl asked to use his telephone to call her parents but could not reach them. She left, possibly with a male on a bike with her. Police found the girl and arrested her.

[Because we cannot allow that sort of thing to go on... what did she do again?]