This certainly won't leave you glowing...

Do yourself a huge favor and skip this product over- you might think that it's just an overblown opinion, but this product does -not- glow in the dark, and barely glows under black light. You can't eat it, or get it anywhere 'sensitive' so you would be best washing it off before trying to get to sex. Go for the body frosting instead- might not see it in the dark, but it tastes better, and you'll have more fun.

Published:
February 19, 2010

Pros:

You get a decent amount of product, washing it from partner in shower can be sexy.

What can I say about this product? Well let's start with the beginning- what it looks like in the box. The box comes shrink wrapped, not too hard to open. The front boasts a sexy woman in some studded lingerie, and proclaims "Glow in the dark finger pants." Which, the finger paint part is badly photoshopped onto said woman. It also says that it is New! and Improved! Which I wouldn't want to see the old version... (That's foreshadowing, where my english majors at?)

The top of the box is boring black, the sides once more tell you that it is glow in the dark fingerpaints, in case you forgot what you ordered, and then forgot again when you stopped looking at the cover. On the back, they spice it up with crudely drawn breasts, and an upside down triangle. It tells you that In the midle of the night, you can bring an exciting new twist to those special moments with their new and improved glow in the dark adult body paints. They also tell you to add to your excitement, try using a black light. Which I just so happen to have.

Alright let's get into the actual product now. You get four plastic tubs, true to the pictures. They are a little bigger than a quarter in diameter, and probably an inch deep. You get Orange, yellow, Green, and Blue. (It's supposed to be pink, but it looks orange.) Upon unscrewing the cheap plastic tub, you are met with a seal and a very ominous warning- "Sealed for your protection". I guess I should have taken this as a warning- but nay I plugged on like the eager little guinea pig...er, reviewer that I am.

So after battling with this safety seal, I manage to pull it off and reveal the brightly colored goo within. There's a faint and inoffensive scent if you really stick your nose into it, but other than that it's odorless. Dipping a finger into the goo is like a cold slime, not all together bad though, for when you pull your finger away and rub at it, it feels a bit like sliquid lube, one of the more runnier types.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I struggle to unpeel the seal of every tub, managing it within a few moments. Then I turn off the lights and- Okay there was a dim glow, like that of a lightning bug in the throes of death. It faded and stopped within a few moments. I prayed it'd look better under black light.

Which it did, because the uv reactive parts continued to glow for longer, but I found that I had to be pretty close (like within a foot) of the UV bulb for anything to happen. The closer to the bulb, the brighter it would be. So at least it's UV reactive finger paints, maybe not the best glow in the dark ones. But wait- there's more. Orange really outdid itself with a unique, orangey true color that lit up like a lightbulb. Yellow came in second, but green and blue looked almost just like yellow.

So you basically get Orange, Yellow, Kinda Yellow, and kinda green. Now that out of the way, how did they look on the skin? Well if you put a dollop on, it looked great, really bright and concentrated. If you began to write with it, it become less so glowy- rubbing it in completely rendered it nearly invisible until brought within inches of the bulb and then you could see the light freckles of uv reactive material.

The box warns "This product should be kept away from eyes, mouth, and all sensitive areas. This product is not edible. For external use only. Please keep out of reach of children. If irritation develops from the use of this product, discontinue use immediately. If product is ingested please consult a physician immediately."

Now I've already disproved that this paint really glows in the dark, and you also could not use use these in the middle of the night unless you had a blacklight, because if they had been sitting in the dark for a while, they just wouldn't glow. You'd have to turn on a light, let them 'charge' and then try. But even then, You probably wouldn't see a very noticeable glow. Now, if you can't eat this, or put your mouth anywhere near it, or getting it in your eyes might damage them- then I have to ask, what makes this so exciting? Fun for a while- but not exciting.

The Good - Uhm...You get a lot of product, I suppose. .5oz in each, so thats 2 oz total of paint. Odorless, doesn't feel 'gross'. If you wash it off in the shower, that might get you hot and bothered, because just playing with the paint won't.

The Bad - It doesn't glow without a blacklight, even then you have to lay it on thick for it to glow brightly, and be within a foot of the blacklight. You can't eat it, it's messy, and if you try to fool around with it on you might accidentally get it on the sensitive bits it tells you to avoid. So I guess you could go wash it off in the shower, and that could lead you up to something exciting as you washed this gunk off of one another. The price is ridiculous for something that barely works. Maybe I'd be $5.00 for the novelty, but this was a waste of 11 dollars.

What I'd suggest is instead of glow in the dark finger paints, get yourself some chocolate body frosting. You might need to do that in the light, but it tastes better, works better, and is probably a lot more exciting than these duds! Do yourself a favor- Skip these and go straight for chocolate sauce.

If you don't know about parabens- please follow THIS link. Parabens have been linked to breast cancer, and that's no good at all. While it's not proven, it is still something you should be aware of.

Follow-up commentaryI still don't like it3 months after original review

It hasn't changed- it still has those nasty parabens in it. I won't buy it again, haven't been using them, and don't plan on it. As I said before, I would advise you to skip these and get some body frosting instead. Edible and probably a lot more fun.

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