Hmmm. one whole week. That was longer than I wanted to wait. But I’d heard some good things about these guys. So I said, “Yeah. I take it!”

“Have you ever been to our salon?” the pleasant lady asked, exhibiting no signs of the crazy that was about to come.

“Umm. No.”

“Oh…okay, we ask that our first-time guests pre-pay for their appointment. So, I’ll be glad to take your credit card number, charge the $35, and you’ll be set!”

As I searched for the right words to respond, she chimed in: “That’s our policy.”

“Really?! Cuz MY policy is to NOT do business with people who are from freakin’ Mars!” Is what I wish I’d said. Instead, I thanked her for her time, and quickly hang up. Some part of me longed for the days I had a landline. Cell phone hang ups are pretty damn wimpy.

I won’t be getting my hair cut there. It’s the principle. Which sucks. Because since moving back to Seattle, I’ve yet to find a salon or a stylist who can “get the job done.” Being a man with a “policy” isn’t making my life any easier.

But, c’mon! Pre-pay for a $35 hair cut? Are you serious? That’s like a restaurant taking your reservation for dinner next week, and then asking for the money up front. Doubtful anybody would go for that.

While we’re on the topic, here’s a partial list of other things I will not be paying for today. 1) Next week’s groceries. 2) Car repairs that I’ll need sometime in the next year. 3) Oxygen.

To be fair, that last one is free. Although I get the sense that this hair salon would try and charge for it, if they could.

And yes, I “get” what they’re doing. They want the money, in case you flake out on the appointment. So, let me get this right. I just called your business out-of-blue. And the first thing you want me to know is…that you’re already not sure if you trust me? Hey, that’s a great way to start a new business relationship!

Part of me has a (very) slight appreciation for this kind of arrogance. It must be nice in this tough economy to have sooooooo many customers that you can create hurdles to reduce the number of new clients. I mean, I guess that means they’re pretty good at what they do.

But the smart business person recognizes that success comes in cycles–sometimes you’re riding high, others times not so much. The goal should always be to turn your first impressions into lasting business.

Update 8/4/2011: When I wrote this post six months ago, I made the choice to not name the salon. I simply wanted to “state my case” about the absurdity of charging people for services to be performed in the future. I mean, I’m not asking you to build a house for me — for which you’d have to buy supplies and building materials. All I want is my hair cut. I’m pretty sure you already have some scissors. So, what’s the problem?!

Anyway, now that I’ve moved across town, I drive by these jackasses almost every day. I had come to peace with this. But now they’re in my face. The name of the joint is Valentine’s Men’s Grooming Salon. Their policy is if you’ve never been there before, you will have to pay for your hair cut when you make your appointment.

And yes, I originally called them because of the name “Valentine.” I would like to say it was for the “camaraderie” of our shared name. But it was probably vanity. I should be ashamed of myself. And I kinda am, lol.

Zig-a-zig-ah! With a second-helping of guest judge Posh Spice, American Idol returned to Denver last night for one of this season’s more satisfying audition episodes.

Maybe it was the change in the “menu” that tasted so good. After six audition shows with tons of freaks and horrible singers, last night Idol shined the spotlight on the Golden Tickets. Of the ten people featured, seven were sent to Hollywood. They are:

Mark Labriola – A self-proclaimed Jack Black lookalike who sang “Tempted” by Squeeze. I like him based on song-choice alone. Never heard anyone do that one on Idol. Sounds good, and we know he’s got a personality and self-depreciating sense of humor. Did I mention he admits he looks like Jack Black?

Kimberly Kerbow – A single mom and college student with a great smile who I think was wearing a wig. Judges wonder, too. A little distracting. And a little odd when she sings she’d buy Rogaine for Simon Cowell. But her sweet version of Ingrid Michaealson’s “The Way I Am” gets her an invitation to Hairywood Week, er, Hollywood Week.

Danelle Hayes – A karaoke host from Seattle. She delivers a raspy, bluesy rendition of Melissa Etheridge‘s “I’m The Only One” that sounds not unlike, um, Melissa Etheridge. Simon makes some observation about Danelle arriving on Idol‘s doorstep at a key moment in life before she’s about to be “broken” by the corporate world. Huh? Anyway, Danelle’s got something–as long as she remembers there’s a fine line between “raspy” and “yelling.”

Casey James – This guys got “ringer” written all over him. Good-looking guy with long hair in pony tail. Posh, aka Victoria Beckham, wants to see his hair down, and somehow that degenerates to Kara Dioguardi getting him to remove his shirt. Simon says the whole thing’s embarrassing and that his audition was “boring.” Randy Jackson says Casey needs to take some “personality pills,” but votes yes. Casey’s on his way to Hollywood, where all the ingredients are there for him to step up his game and “show” Simon that he was wrong. Possible storyline. We’ll see if it plays out that way.

Tori Kelly – A pretty 16-year old student who’s either “sunny” (Posh’s word) or “a human orange” (Simon’s). Posh points out that looks are “part of this,” presumably meaning success in the music world. Posh would be the expert in that. Simon was annoyed by Tori’s version of John Mayer‘s “Gravity.” My ears disagree.

Nicci Nix – I’m still trying to figure out what’s going on with this girl. She flew all the way from Italy. Is she from there? Like an Italian citizen auditioning for American Idol? Or an American who happened to be over there? I’m confused on this point. I’m guessing rich parents, either way. She spoke with a bit of a foreign accent. Not that you’d notice an accent. Hard to hear anything else than her cartoon, Jennifer Tilly speaking voice. She sings with deeper tones, auditioning with something by Girls Aloud. Here’s my feeling: this chick’s got something interesting vocally going on that’s very recordable. Get her into a studio and I got a feeling you could create some successful pop music.

Haeley Vaughn – Her storyline is this: Haeley wants to be “the first black, female country star.” Well, my friend Rissi Palmer‘s already doing a pretty good job on that front. But this is an awesome storyline! Haeley sang Carrie Underwood‘s “Last Name,” and sang it well. Great smile, infectious attitude. Haeley’s going to Haeleywood!

Them is my thoughts. If you got some yourself, love to hear them. So leave a comment.