If u're looking for rational thought, this may not be the place for u. Am a rambler and I ramble at will, with no apologies. You will encounter non linear indulgences, emotional outbursts and personal extravagances.
But, be my guest.
I may become the reason u have fun with urself.
A wannabe movie maker, an adhoc writer, a self proclaimed poetess, an experimental cook and a near obsessive passion player....rock with me

Friday, December 28, 2007

Its nearly the end of 2007.Another year gone by. So many resolutions not met.

For a change I’m going to focus on the ones that I was able to conquer, albeit, not because I set out to do so but because I probably knew no other way to handle them.

2007 has been good to me.

I joined adidas in the November of 2006 and gave myself 3 months to find my space in a new set up, an extremely different work culture and multi cultural bosses.Today, adi is home and, I operate from a niche that is uniquely mine.The point, however, is that there never should have been a question in my mind about it turning out any other way.I knew I would belong. I always have.Its time to accelerate the faith in myself. And, that is what 2008 is going to bring me.

While 2007 was a year of “keep the faith”, 2008 is going to ensure that I clear it by leaps and bounds…

Its time for new beginnings…a new way of living life

I love the way I’ve led my life. No regrets.

I had a lunch date with a friend who is very close and, probably one of my oldest advisors. Not that I follow his advice much (he tells me that). But I do listen to him. And, he matters a whole lot. He tells me, all I need in life is discipline.

And, while I would have scoffed at that till some months back, I understand now, that that is the way I need to go.

Not because of the lunch. Not because it's the first time someone has told me that (theres another I hold as dear as life itself who has probably given up on doing the same..take a raincheck mate..and take it this year).

But, sometimes in life, the most obvious things hit you without reason and, at the most routine time, doing the most regular things

Being crazy is a part of my appeal.My appeal to myself, not to others.I’m sure they would desire a more rational me.Its just more appealing to me. I want to be a certain way. And that's the only way I know.However, whats life without a challenge and, I can tell you the challenges in my life are so darned obvious.

I know this is an affirmative step for me because till now I was not even ready to accept that I needed to bring discipline into some parts of my life.The structure will help.Dichotomy exists in everyone’s lives. I somehow feel I get to experience an amplified version. Haha.I can handle the most complex professional tasks in the most structured manner, wear the utmost stoical appearances in most public domains, yet, completely lose it when I have to live for myself.Its not about my personal life. That is again dealt with more than appropriate empathy.Its just about me.I have not been my best friend.And, that is something I intend changing in 2008.

I’m not giving myself 3 months to do it in. New beginnings call for a new faith.

Monday, December 03, 2007

My Nani is coming tomorrow. For the first time in over two years she is venturing out of her home to a new place.

My nana and nani were my lifeline for decades.They still would be if it were not for a slight turn in their fortunes over the last few years.Now I am their lifeline. As are my brothers and sisters and of course, our babies.

There is no one stronger I know.She was all of 14 when she got married and from there went on to build a life as a leading doctor, a leading doctor who was female. She gave up on fame because she wanted to see us grow up.Now she wages a battle against my Nana’s Alzheimer’s even as we see him giving up.She can barely stand but completely walks the talk.She is what I would call a survivor. My very own religion.

And, she’s coming tomorrow.

This whole weekend I have run scared of picking up the phone on her.I didn’t want to hear her tell me that she wouldn’t be able to leave nanajee alone and come.But she hasn’t done that and, hopefully she will walk into my home tomorrow with just me as a crutch.

I asked her what she most yearns for.She told me she can taste the McDonald’s Burger in her dreams. Such simple dreams.

I have 5 days to make her feel she can walk again without pain…almost glide. And I’m all set to do that.