The plan: One of us distracts the checker with questions, while the other sneaks on behind.

Cost of badge: $8 each

Cost of props: No props, but being professional question-askers should help, right?

Level of risk: Pretty high. Belmar rakes in big bucks collecting badge fees — more than $3 million in 2016 (see the chart below) — and most of the folks we saw appeared to be veteran checkers. But, the dreary day may have weakened their resolve.

Matt says: Belmar has a reputation for being the stingiest and toughest beach to sneak onto. Police cars roamed the street next to the boardwalk with regularity, adding a little disincentive to give it a try.

Jess says: I knew Matt should play "the distracter" after he rolled off a list of questions, including particularly earnest ones about whether Belmar had been impacted by the recent fecal matter issues and if he'd get pink eye from swimming in the ocean. I couldn't top that.

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So, where does your vacation spot fall?

Scroll over each town to see the exact dollar amount made in beach tag sales during the 2016 season.

Note: Only records of seasonal totals, not daily, were available from Monmouth Beach.

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The Gone Fishin' - Asbury Park

The plan: Fishermen – and women! – are allowed on the beach for free in Asbury Park. The question was whether or not the checkers would actually enforce the rules that require fishermen and women to, you know, fish.

Level of risk: Low. It was a blustery, cold day and the checkers seemed more concerned with their own survival.

Matt says: The badge checkers in Asbury Park ranged from veterans to seemingly fresh-faced rookies. There was also just one badge checker per entrance, meaning each checker had to be particularly alert in order to catch sneaks.

The plan: A plan so wild we almost didn't believe it when a coworker told us the tale of an epic football pass. One person buys a badge, gets on the beach, pins it on a squishy football, and then launches it over the dunes to the badgeless person, who hopefully makes the catch. Repeat as necessary.

Cost of badge: $10 each

Cost of props: Nothing.We grabbed an NJ.com football that was hanging around the office.

Level of risk: So high. If the pass went awry, the ball would've landed in the don't-you-dare-walk-on-them dunes, rendering us ball-less and badge-less.

Jess says: It was a long pass and I wondered if we should move to a better spot, but Matt was confident. Go long and make the catch, on video, in one take? The pressure was on.

Matt says: Jess didn't think I could make the 30-40 yard throw over the dunes. That was all the motivation I needed. C'mon now, don't doubt me like that.

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The Imposters - Cape May

The plan: Simple brilliance — dress like lifeguards, who, of course, get on for free.

Cost of badge: $10 each

Cost of props: $116 in lifeguard apparel and whistles from Ultimate Swim Shop in Piscataway

Level of risk: High. Like, will we be able to de-lifeguard before a rescue situation? Will another lifeguard spot us and call us out?

Matt says: Honestly, the lifeguard routine might have been my favorite – and most ridiculous – thing we tried. It took everything I had not to bust out laughing when the badge checker told another beachgoer that "lifeguards get on for free."

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The Walk on Like You Own It - Avalon

The plan: It's a classic, and we've all done it. Walk with purpose. Maintain a quick pace. Avoid eye contact. That beach is yours for the taking.

Cost of badge: $6

Cost of props: Zip, zilch, nada — just a healthy dose of confidence.

Level of risk: High. We went directly past the checker at the 30th street beach entrance, the most crowded spot in Avalon.

Matt says: The rookie checkers had a tough task, with just one employee per entrance at the end of the dunes, where the walkway opens up and people can walk in any which direction.

Jess says: I've spent lots of time in Avalon and made it on with this tactic before (though not at this particular entrance), so I wasn't too nervous. The bouncers at the Princeton need to show these guys how it's done.

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The Baby From Hell - Ocean City

The plan: A screaming baby. We named her Sandy. Dad carrying a million things. And mom berating dad for forgetting the pacifier. What badge checker would dare get involved in this mess?

Level of risk: Mid-level. Lots of checkers manned at Boardwalk stations, but so many people it would seem impossible to check them all.

Matt says: Never in a million years did I expect teenagers to interrupt a fight between two adults for something as simple as a beach badge, but Mike – bless his heart – actually tried.

Jess says: I was brutal. I feel like my tirade came from a real place, deep inside of me. And, poor Matt was on the receiving end. Mike, the fearless newbie 16-year-old checker, is my favorite person we encountered over this project.

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I could barely see Matt anymore as he dutifully blew up all of Baby Sandy's inflatable toys. (Jessica Remo | NJ Advance Media)

The plan: Buy wristbands in a million colors. Then, try to match the colors at a beach where they give wristbands instead of badges.

Cost of wristband: $10 each on the weekend ($9 during the week)

Cost of props: $8.99 on Amazon Prime for paper wristbands in 20 different colors

Level of risk: Insanely high. Point Pleasant was swarming with badge checkers, security personnel and police officers on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Each entrance had both a badge checker/seller and a security guard. And the badge sellers refuse to give multiple wristbands to one person and let them hand them out to friends later – employees have to put the wristband on each customer.

Matt says: Point Pleasant was frankly the most terrifying beach we tried to sneak onto. From the second we got to the boardwalk, there were cops everywhere.

Jess says: Once I saw the level of security, I was sure this was the time we'd get locked up. Our wristbands didn't match exactly - paper not plastic, and missing a specific pattern on them that we didn't have the time to try to copy.

It ain't easy being a badge checker. You're the person standing between all of us and that sweet, sweet Jersey sand — a tough, thankless gig.

We loved that it was a 16-year-old kid in Ocean City, totally new to the job, who ultimately brought down our success streak. Way to go, Mike! Someone give him a raise.

As for the others who allowed us right on? Well, we're all human. And it was early in the season, so, perhaps, their skills weren't sharp yet. Or maybe they were feeling extra generous that day.

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Do not try these at home

We repeat -- do not try these at home! The badge fees are how these Shore towns pay their lifeguards and keep their beaches clean (and, again, we did actually buy three badges/wristbands at every stop we attempted).

And, you can face some pretty serious fines or other consequences if you're caught trying to sneak onto the beach.

Besides, what better way to spend a few bucks anyway? It's all a small price to pay to swim in the Atlantic, frolic on the shore and even out that tan line. (And the badge fee curmudgeons among us can simply drive to free spots like Atlantic City, Wildwood or, maybe, Delaware).

Now, how to sneak out of your office on a beautiful day to get to the beach? You're on your own, kids. Happy beaching!