Accomplished Scientist Kicked Out Of Concert For Crowd Surfing To Handel’s “Messiah”

If renowned authority on non-equilibrium molecular reaction dynamics Dr.David Glowacki was on the periodic table, he’d totally be a metal, dude: the scientist had to be physically removed recently from Britain’s Old Vic theater for attempting to crowd surf at a classical concert.

The Independent published this hilariously straight-faced account of the incident:

Dr Glowacki [...] was so overcome during the ‘Hallelujah Chorus’ he began lurching from side to side with his hands raised and whooping before attempting to crowd-surf, witnesses claimed.

Irritated by the distraction, audience members proceeded to physically eject the Bristol University academic from the area…

Wow, I guess the British really couldn’t “handel” Glowacki’s behavior. (You all have permission to physically eject me now.)

The disturbance was reportedly prompted by Old Vic artistic director Tom Morris’ suggestion that the audience “Clap or whoop when you like, and no shushing other people,” but Mr.Morris told The Independent the theater has now adopted a strict no-crowd-surfing policy. The Glowacki fiasco was “the first such incident at a classical concert since the 18th century.” (18th-century peeps were punk as fuck.)

Morris chocks the Royal Society Research Fellow’s behavior up to scientific inquiry:

David was investigating what the nature of the rules are using the skills that make him an extraordinary scientist – and for some in the audience, a slightly irritating one.

Glowacki took time off from being a bad-ass boss to tell The Independent:

Classical music, trying to seem cool and less stuffy, reeks of some sort of fossilised art form undergoing a midlife crisis [...]Witness what happened to me when I started cheering with a 30-strong chorus shouting ‘praise God’ two metres from my face: I get physically assaulted, knocked down to the floor and forcibly dragged out by two classical vigilantes. Neither the bourgeoisie audience nor their curators (eg Tom Morris) really believe what they say [...] This may be a consequence of me being American, but I can quite easily be provocative without the need to be inebriated.