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Friday, 12 June 2015

Heeding The Signs

It has been a long time since I have posted anything on here
and my, my, my, has a lot changed since my last post on 29 November 2014! (What
a shameful time gap!)

If you are a regular reader of For The Love of Moi, you
would’ve noticed that in the posts leading up to the last one in November last
year, FTLOM took a turn in the type of content that was being shared. I assure
you that this was not planned but was merely a reflection of what was going on
in my life at that time.

So to give you the short version, here’s
the skinny on what led to the changes in the content and my life.

Now as some of you may remember in 2013 I managed to get the
job of my dreams that I had been working so hard for! Don’t get me wrong it was
no high flying job with the salary to match, but was that foot in the door that
I had wanted and was enough for me. However the more involved I became in my
job the more my body was trying to tell me to slow down, but as much as I was
learning about heeding the signs of life, I sure as hell wasn’t heeding these
signs until one day at our busiest time of the year on my way to work I was
involved in a car crash which should have been more than enough to make me or
anyone for that matter stop and say, “Ok universe, I’ve heard you loud and
clear! From this day forth I vow to put my health first”, but no that wasn’t
enough for little ol’ me now was it, as the very next day I was back at my
laptop, (even if it was from my living room whilst propped up by ever cushion
in the room.)

It wasn’t until I had a full blown panic attack in the
canteen whilst at work with embarrassing visions flashing through my mind of
being airlifted out of the campus and taken to the nearest hospital that I
realised that I was suffering from anxiety which the doctors failed to pick up
on when I told them I was having breathing problems to which their solution was
to put me on steroid based medication!!!

So after going back to the doctor and telling them that the
problem was not asthma, but was in fact anxiety (imagine having to tell your
doctor what they should have told you! A rant for another day) they told me the
best thing anyone could have ever told me at that stage of my anxiety, even if
it wasn’t what I wanted to hear … which went something like this; ‘Sara, you
have two options, you can either find a way of coping or you can find a new
job’!

Fast forward one year and this is where I’m at; I worked
through a lot of my anxiety with the support of my family, friends, colleagues
who have become friends and an amazing yoga teacher and realised that there
were a lot of things that needed to change in my life which started with the
way that I was treating myself and the way that I approached life.

I found ways of managing my workload as well as more
time for myself, I realised that there were other factors that contributed to
my anxiety which I am still learning how to deal with, but the most important
thing that I have learned so far, is the importance of the connection with
myself which I somehow managed to lose along the way. However since this
realisation I have managed to restore and continue to build this connection
every single day, and yes, even on the shit days, because we all have them no
matter how zen we deem ourselves to be.

As for the job, I
called it a day and followed my heart to rekindle an old flame. I packed my bags, left on
jet plane and to be honest, I’m not too sure when I’ll be back again!

But in mean time I plan to keep sharing my experiences and
discoveries with you all, which will include the good, the bad and the hella
ugly, as I know I’m not alone on this amazing rollercoaster we call life and
what’s an experience if you’re not able to share it? Even if it’s only through
a blog.