Joke of the day

Every man needs a go-to joke.

Monday

Joke
N°
5788

A Royal Pain
"The biggest thing about raising girls, it seems, is dispelling the whole princess myth. Everything they get is about being a princess: crowns and gowns and scepters. She's waiting for a prince. They don't exist. There's no guy out there with tights and good manners that's going to come whisk you away to Happy Town, and if there is, he's looking for another guy in tights." -Tom Papa Ryan Murphy

Tuesday

Joke
N°
5789

Fighting Words
A man named Smitty walked into the bar, and said to the bartender "Pour me a stiff one, Eddie. I just had another fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah?" said Eddie. "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over," Smitty replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees."
"Really? Now that's a switch! What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you gutless weasel!" Ryan Murphy

Wednesday

Joke
N°
5790

Muscle Beach
"A new psychological disorder has been identified, called muscle dysmorphia. It's when bodybuilders think of themselves as scrawny and underdeveloped. You can always tell who these guys are. They're the ones at the beach kicking sand in their own faces." -Bill Maher Ryan Murphy

Thursday

Joke
N°
5791

A Whale Of A Story
A little girl and her teacher were having a discussion about whales. The teacher said that it is physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human, because even though a whale is very large, its throat is very small. The little girl said that, according to the Old Testament, it was a whale that swallowed Jonah. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, as it is physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!" Ryan Murphy

Friday

Joke
N°
5792

Courting
Pappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asks, "Where ya going, boy?"
The son smiles and replies, "I'm a-courtin' Peggy-Sue."
Old Pappy says, "When I went a-courtin', I din't need me no dang
lantern."
"Sure Pa, I know," says the boy, "And look what you got!" Ryan Murphy

Saturday

Joke
N°
5793

Practice Makes Perfect
"When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice." -Steven Wright Ryan Murphy