Far Away

Summary:
Bella was about to jump to her death. My Bella. I had caused her all this pain and hurt in attempt to save her. I couldn't do anything right. All I could hope was that I wouldn't be too late. I couldn't be too late. I am taking an official break from this story. I might finish it eventually, but no guarantees. I am currently working on a re-write of this story--See author's note (Chapter 8) for details.

Notes:
This is my fantasy New Moon. It picks up right before Bella jumps off the cliff. The title is after the Nickelback song, which I suppose could serve as a theme song for this story. Enjoy!

5. Killing an Angel

I couldn’t believe we were actually going through with this. Bella was going to be changed, or she would die. I suppose changing her was the lesser of two evils, but I still couldn’t believe it was happening. Especially so soon! She was only eighteen, not even graduated from high school! But it was for the best. It was for the best. It was for the best.

What if it wasn’t for the best? What if she hated me for the pain she would go through? What if something went wrong in her transformation? The thoughts were unbearable. I would be killing an angel by doing this. I needed a distraction, and soon. My wish was granted by another phone call from Alice. That didn’t make sense. I was almost home, and she was calling me? It couldn’t be good.

I flipped open the phone to hear Alice’s high-pitched voice speaking frantically. My fears had been confirmed, something bad was happening.

“Edward, they will be here within the hour! Within the hour Edward! Maybe even before you get home! Bite her, bite her now! Edward, you have to!” She screamed. With that, she hung up the phone. I gasped in horror. I hadn’t hunted at all recently; I could so easily kill her. I snapped my phone shut and glanced at Bella, who was still crying.

“Bells,” I whispered. She looked up, her dark eyes fearful. I hated having to break this bad news. I just wanted to hold her and make all the pain go away. “Bella, we have another problem. The Volturi will be here soon, not only too soon for me to hunt, but possible too soon for us to get home. I-I need to do it now, Bella. I’m so sorry,” I continued. I looked out the window to see the dark, wet forest. Bella did the same. She took a deep breath, and nodded. It would be right here, right now. I gulped. Things were never supposed to end up like this.

I swept her hair behind her ear, leaving her neck exposed. I leaned in and kissed her lips, gradually moving to her cheek, her chin, and her neck, kissing each spot once and only once. I kissed her throat, took a deep breath, and gently put my teeth against her neck without actually pressuring it. Bella’s heart practically pounded out of her chest. If I were alive, my heart would have been pounding. I didn’t want to do this, but it was necessary. I reminded myself of why I was doing this, and bit down on her throat full force. Her ambrosia-like blood flowed through my veins, reenergizing me like never before. Its scent hadn’t done it justice. I had tasted it once before, but this was far different. But the same. Life or death for Bella, and I was in danger of causing the latter. But it was too good to stop. It tasted far better without another vampire’s venom tainting it. I drank and drank, the monster in me nearly taking over completely. “Just a little more won’t hurt,” I kept repeating to myself. I so wrong, though, because Bella was almost dry.

I didn’t think I could stop; I was too thirsty. I would kill Bella in attempt to save her. I would never do anything right. I could never do anything right. I had to stop the monster in me. I growled at myself, but still couldn’t stop. Until I heard it; the sound I had hoped to never hear again.

Bella’s scream. Not her normal, scared scream, but a painful scream that I so clearly remembered, from not only my own transformation, but from Phoenix. The venom was in her veins, and she was in pain. I had to stop, stop now! The human side of me took over, the side that was so protective of Bella. I pulled away, having taken more than enough blood and injecting plenty of venom. Her screams were agonizing. There was so little blood, so much venom. It would be so much more painful, but shorter. Not short enough; Bella should never have to feel that kind of pain. But it would be okay. How could I even think that? It would never be fine, having damned an angel!

I jumped back with the horror of what I had done; I had destroyed an angel. She could never go to heaven after this, she could never see her family or human friends after this, she could never eat food after this! Her heart would never beat, she would never blush that beautiful scarlet.

I was shocked when Bella had forgiven me for leaving her, but she would never forgive me for this. I would never forgive me for this. The angel’s screams were horrifyingly clear; as if God himself was torturing me for all that I have done wrong. My chest felt like it had been ripped open, and for a moment I could have sworn a tear came trickling out of my eye. I had killed an angel, and there was no going back.