Jeff Sessions Says the Democrats Are Retarded And Their Shit’s All Fucked Up!

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Attorney General Jeff Sessions trashes the Russian Conspiri-tards.

In a hearing with the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, that Jeff Sessions insisted was made open to the media and the general public, the Attorney General set the record straight and put the hysterical Russian collusion story in it’s grave.

“Let me state this clearly colleagues. I have never met with or had any conversation with any Russian or any foreign officials concerning any type of interference with any campaign or election in the United States,” said Sessions in his testimony before the committee. “Further, I have no knowledge of any such conversations by anyone connected to the Trump campaign.”

Then, in a very measured and professional manner, the Attorney General blew everyone the fuck out!

“The suggestion that I participated in any collusion or that I was aware of any collusion with the Russian government to hurt this country, which I have served with honor for 35 years, or to undermine the integrity of our democratic process, is an appalling and detestable lie”.

Watch Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ full opening statement:

The Entire Hearing was filled with Awesome DANKNESS!

In his exchange with Senator Ron Wyden (D-Ore.), AG Jeff Sessions was accused of “Stonewalling”, which is a colorful way of saying that he was refusing to cooperate or refusing to communicate. Sessions didn’t hold back and put the Senator in his place!

Watch the exchange here:

At one point Sessions and Senator Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) even mocked the ridiculous Russian narrative and compared it to spy fiction novels. Sessions added to the mockery by comparing it to the Lewis Carroll story Through The Looking Glass.