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flashback: mirage, vegas, labor day weekend 2001

Note: Another in a series of reviews originally published on my
Rockin' High Roller website, this review is based on our RFB junket over Labor
Day weekend in September 2001. We stacked our RFBs so that when we
checked out of
Treasure Island, we rolled our suitcases across to the Mirage next door
for a couple extra days of VIP pampering. Playing blackjack may be a bore,
but I have to admit that it had its benefits.

That white tiger at the entrance to the Mirage in Las Vegas isn't just a mascot.
It's an attitude. Customer service is just not a priority at the Mirage. My favorite
quote from a Mirage host: "He hung up? Why did he hang up? He was only on hold for 20
minutes!"

I promise you folks a tour of one of the "lettered" penthouse suites in a few weeks. (It
will be longer than that, as I seem to have misplaced my "lettered" suites photographs
in the Tropical Storm Bill take-down of my home office.) Unfortunately, when I stayed
there, I didn't have my digital camera. Another casino gave me a regular 35mm camera,
and I got some pretty decent pictures, but they've got to be scanned. Until then,
let's look at a smaller suite, one that doesn't require a special key for the elevator.

The bedroom had one of those pop-up TVs, which is always interesting.
There was also another TV in the living room. There were 4 telephones, including
one by each toilet. Yes, there were the usual "his" and "her" bathrooms, which were
spacious and well-appointed, but...the hot tub is only half the size of the one at Treasure
Island. Boo!

Here's a peek at the small kitchenette area:

Here's the living room:

OK, so we've established that you're unlikely to develop claustrophobia in a suite at the
Mirage (although their standard guest rooms are another matter entirely). Besides its 15
minutes of fame in Chevy Chase's Las Vegas Vacation, its volcano that pops off regularly
between twilight and midnight, and the notorious Sigfried and Roy, self-proclaimed magicians
of the millenium, Mirage is known for its fine pool area and its excellent restaurants.
A taster's dinner for two at Renoir with wine and perhaps before-dinner cocktail and
after-dinner drink shouldn't set your host back more than $350, and, hey, I never really
appreciated Renoir's work until I viewed it through a drunken impressionistic haze.
Supposedly that's $10 million worth of Renoirs in there, in case you digest better
in the presence of rare art objects.

So what's not to like? Attitude, people. Mirage needs to lose the attitude.
As I've already hinted, getting a host on the phone can be a major operation. Once,
it took me an hour to check out because even the hotel staff couldn't get a host on
the phone to approve my room charges. But don't get the idea that it's only the hosts
who are goofing off on the job. In the above suite, the housekeeper walked off in the
middle of cleaning the bathroom mumbling something about lunch and was never seen again.

But, hey, the gift basket from the host was a nice touch...even though I still don't
know who he is, 'cuz he ain't taking calls.

UN-DATED UPDATE: Since I wrote this page, Mirage has instituted a major crackdown on card
counters and anyone else who has been winning through good luck or simple observation at
their games. What a pitiful display of bad sportsmanship! I still contend that,
until their attitude changes, they are never going to regain the ground they have lost over
the years to the newer resorts.

Final Note: In a tragic turn of events, Roy was severely injured by one of his
beloved tigers during a show, and the Mirage has cancelled all future performances. I hear
that Roy is slowly recovering, and I wish him a full recovery. We're told his first
thought was for the tiger and to insist that it not be destroyed; his wish was honored.