Amused and Alarmed

Fictional Exoticism

Tigota, the store where we buy toiletries and cleaning products, tends to throw in extra stuff; that's the way their loyalty program works. It's not like free samples of products they're trying to push; it's shaving cream, or a three-pack of mid-range paper towels. This is what they do instead of coupons or cash back. This seems to be the Italian approach to customer rewards at large, but Tigota is particularly devoted to it.

Some months back, Tigota gave us 12 double rolls of toilet paper, which is how I wound up with toilet paper that doesn't fit on my dinky toilet paper holder until it's about a third of the way spent. (It'll fit on the dowel full size, but it doesn't rotate, which is critical to the dispensing process.) Before then, I leave it on the radiator, the only ledge within reach of the commode. Since it takes a while to use up 12 double rolls of toilet paper, this process has been going on long enough to be habitual. It's been a while since it captured my attention.

Thing is, this week it got cold enough to turn on the radiators. And today I started a new roll of toilet paper. Which means when I use the toilet paper, it's warm. Pre-heated, like a luxury face towel.

It feels very ridiculous. I bet I could convince visitors it's a cultural norm, something I do on purpose, maybe something I picked up in Japan. I bet I could get it to show up in Goop as a way to treat yourself.