No. This is not the beginning of a workout or strength training article.

This is about who you are as a person. As a professional. About the skills you possess and the importance of leveraging your core skills.

But first, a quick story.

Earlier in my career, I had been doing very well in a particular field and was contemplating changing directions to broaden my experiences and perspective. During a lunch with one of my mentors, I asked him how he had made the moves he did in his career across industry areas and leadership roles within different areas of responsibility.

He smiled as simply said, “Core skills translate.”

When I gave him that single raised eyebrow inquisitive look, he continued. “Your core skills, often your soft skills, are necessary in every role that you’ll enter. Your ability to communicate and influence effectively, to collaborate and negotiate, to rally people, build trust, and inspire, to think critically, make decisions and to connect people and ideas – these are the things that you take with you to each role. These are the things that make you valuable as a leader – regardless of the field or job title.”

When I asked about the knowledge needed to function in that new role, he said, “Sure, experience and knowledge in the field is important, BUT – as long as you possess the capacity and strong desire to learn – and learn quickly – your core skills are more important to me than your hard skills and knowledge bases. I can teach the latter easily. It’s more difficult to teach the former.”

This was one of those conversations that made me step back and really think about my future differently.

Often, when looking at a new job opportunity or potential shift in our career, we take stock of our hard skills, knowledge base, and experiences and they become the filter by which we say, “can I” or “should I” go after this new role.

But this shouldn’t be the case.

Rather, I would challenge that we should take inventory of the core (soft) skills that we possess and bring them to the forefront in determining whether or not we could or should do something.

Now, this isn’t to say that hard skills and knowledge bases aren’t important, because they are. What I want you to walk away with today is the knowledge that your core skills are important and translate broadly. Don’t pigeon-hole yourself solely based upon your current hard skills and knowledge bases.

So, as a result of the conversation with my mentor, I put together this quick action list to help me as I began my own search for “what’s next” and wanted to share it with you:

Take stock of your own soft skills. If you don’t know what they are – search “soft skills” on the web and get a list. Then begin picking out the ones you do well and maybe not so well (good to know yourself fully). There are also soft skill tests out on the web that can help you identify and measure your skill levels.

Ask trusted others. Get outside opinion about your soft skills. Trusted individuals will hopefully tell you the truth about what they see. They may validate or invalidate some of your own selections. And, they may also share some with you that you didn’t see as potential strengths. I recommend asking at least 3 people (not all from the same team or work area) so you gain the benefit of different perspectives.

Identify your top strengths. Write them down. What are your top 3-5? These become a great place to start when it comes to developing the story of who you are and what you’ll bring to the table. Putting them on paper begins to help you solidify your story.

Look for leverage. When looking at a potential new role, identify where your core skills match up with what they are looking for and be prepared to talk about these. The job description may reveal some of these. BUT DON’T STOP THERE – also check their website or other collateral and look for their missional or values statements. Are there any of your core skills listed there that you could highlight? Leverage your network to find out about how the company functions or what they value in skill sets.

Develop translatable stories. Put together succinct stories about your previous experiences that help highlight your core skills in a way that they could see you in the new role doing the same for their company. You want them to be able to visualize you in that seat. The problem/action/result framework often works very well.

While this list isn’t the be-all and end-all, I hope that it provides you some framework in thinking through your core skill set and translatable skills as you look to venture forward. They are important! As my mentor said, “Core skills translate.”

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The day came. You received that early morning calendar planner to go to a nondescript meeting room. One of your leadership and an HR representative were present. You were advised the company was reorganizing and that your role has been eliminated. They handed you a packet, gave you instructions, took your badge, and then you walked out of the office.

And now, it’s a week or two past when you were notified. Time has moved forward, but you may feel like you’re standing still. And, you may be asking yourself:

Now what?

I’ve talked with several that have been through this same circumstance in the last few years and have come out the other side doing well. In listening to their advice, I found many consistencies and want to share these with you.

As always, there are many things that you could or should be doing and this is not an exhaustive list. However, if you’ve stalled out and are in a lull – here’s where others have found success in getting going:

Take time to reflect. Set aside some uninterrupted quiet time. If you pray, pray. If you meditate, meditate. If you run, run. Wherever your comfort zone is, get there. And think through and process what has happened and where you want to go. This is likely not a one time event either….you may have to spend a lot of quiet time while you go through this journey.

Set true priorities. Cut through any fluff in your life. Force yourself to really analyze each of your priorities and ensure they align to the direction you want to go and that they are going to help you get there. Make sure you’re being honest with yourself.

Write it down. There’s something about putting pencil or pen to paper that seems to help the brain process and to construct your plan. Keep versions of your thinking – there may be something from a past version you want to revisit. If you get stuck, put it down and come back to it later. Your plan will begin to take shape and give you focus.

Ask questions. Ask. Ask. Ask! Everyone has a different comfort level when it comes to asking others questions. However, at this point, if you don’t know – ask someone. If you don’t feel comfortable – find people in your network you trust that you can ask. Knowledge is power. Knowledge will help you feel more comfortable. Knowledge will help you flesh out your plan.

Ask for help. Ask. Ask. Ask! This is the same principle as above. But there is something funny about asking others for assistance. Many struggle with it. They don’t want to burden others. They don’t want to expose their situation. You need to put that all away and quit being stubborn. Your network is there for a reason – use it. Obviously, be professional about it, but if you need a sponsor – ask. If you need assistance – ask. A large number of people want to help – but they don’t know how….until you tell them. Include others on your journey.

Use every resource available to you. Depending upon where you were let go from, there are likely some resources available to you. Use whatever is given to the fullest to help you achieve your plan – or help you discover it. Many have responded very positively about outsourcing resources available to them whether documentation, webinars, or coaches and how it made a difference in their next steps. Use them!

Don’t settle. This is always a tough one, because everyone is in a different circumstance. If you have to take something in the short term to get you to your longer-term plan, do what you need to. However, don’t abandon your longer-term goals. There is a lot of wisdom in pursuing several options at once. In fact, a placement professional told me a story recently about a client that started with one offer that they didn’t want, but they leveraged that to help a couple other companies speed up their offers – which worked to their favor. Keep pushing towards your goal.

Help others. You are going to learn a lot along your journey. Others you know may be in similar circumstance. Information and experience you gain may help someone get on their feet or help them shortcut their plan to achieve a faster result. If you really liked an outsourcing webinar – tell your connections and encourage them to take it. If you found a job that didn’t fit you, but may someone you know – tell them! There is a wonderful benefit to your own journey when you help others on theirs.

Be thankful. Your journey will likely require the help of many others. Thank them – often. There is no better feeling when you help someone to know that they are appreciative. It makes the time and effort well spent. Emails and texts are great to express it, but if you really want them to feel it – say it sincerely in person, or write a handwritten letter/note expressing your gratitude.

This great advice came from those that have been there – and at least for them – it helped them move forward. I hope that you find it valuable.

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Over the last week, I’ve taken tons of calls and/or exchanged emails, texts and messages with many in the wake of the latest organizational restructure at Walmart.

As you might imagine, a large portion of those were from people that had been displaced and were working through the process of figuring out what’s next.

But what you may not expect is that about 1/3 of those were from people that were “left behind”. Those that remained in their roles and are now having to figure out a new normal.

And honestly – the conversations sounded very similar. People were nervous, uncertain, and anxious about what comes next.

So, let me cut to the chase.

Servant Leaders! It is time to stand up!

Regardless of where you fit in the organization, regardless of whether you are still with the organization or not, regardless of whether you have a team of direct reports or not – it’s time to stand up and be present!

And not just for those that were displaced, but for those that still remain as well.

Here’s 4 actions you can take right now!

Identify. Be mindful of your surroundings. Use your EQ to help you identify those that may be in need. Keep your radar up. Maybe now is the time to check in on that one person that you don’t know so well, but seems to be extra quiet today.

Listen. Take the time to invest in others by just hearing them out. What are they worried or anxious about? What are they excited about? What questions do they have? You don’t have to have the answers for them. Often times, merely lending an ear is enough.

Help. Provide what assistance you can. And not just on the work stuff. Use your advice, network, knowledge, and maybe even a little research to provide what people may need, professionally and personally. Put in some effort. You don’t need to coddle them. Rather be honest and thoughtful.

Encourage. Lift them up. Whether words, actions, or setting them up for small wins. Whatever it is – find ways to help them get moving in the right direction. The goal is to get them going and then keep them going. It will likely take more than a single action on your part. So, check back and follow up.

Servant leadership is not a new concept by any means, and I would hazard to guess you’re familiar with that to do. Now, just apply it and take action. Lift those around you.

“But that isn’t an answer. Why did they select me? They could have chosen anyone. I’m a top performer!” I heard this from the table behind me at a restaurant this week.

Someone was struggling with the ‘why’ and not able to get past where they are until they understand it – to their desired level of understanding. Unfortunately, it may never come.

Regardless of how many steps you subscribe to in processing grief or loss (which includes the loss of a job), there are sometimes barriers that get in the way from allowing you to move from one stage to another and finally on to acceptance…..if you let them.

And I get it. I’ve been here. I am here. I’ve gone through the same “why did this happen to me”?

But, life experience has taught me a few things. And I want to share them with you with the full knowledge that maybe this only applies to me, but in a hope that it will somehow help you process your own situation or that of one that is near to you.

If you find yourself stuck after a breakup, here’s 3 things to consider:

The ‘why’ doesn’t really matter. In the big scheme of things, understanding doesn’t change the outcome. The breakup still happened. You are where you are. While understanding may better help you mentally and emotionally process your situation to a degree – in reality, you don’t need this information to move forward with your new season. Besides, if you keep stonewalled by the same reply it may be time to stop rattling a tree that won’t drop you any fruit.

Don’t over pursue. I have some friends and colleagues that fall in to this category already are over pursuing the ‘why’ – like the person in the restaurant. They “have to know” and they are doing it at a cost. They are running a myriad of negative emotions – and sometimes letting these emotions guide them. Anger, depression, confusion, etc. And it’s driving their actions and tone. Yes, tone. How you say and do things.

While you are free to do what you want, there is a wise old adage about not burning bridges. You never know when you’ll need a recommendation, job, or advice from a former colleague. Everything you do at this point speaks to your character and becomes your reputation.Remember – you can’t control what happens to you, but you can control your reaction to it.

Focus Forward. You only have so much energy. If you find yourself stuck, spinning, and wasting your energy – find a way to get past it. It may be as simple as a conscious choice to move past it or it may require counsel and talking it through with friends or even professionals. Sometimes, you don’t see that you’re spinning, which is why outside perspective is good from those you trust. Whatever it is, move forward. Make a plan. Take advantage of the resources and time you have to make a decisions and GO. Sometimes easier said that done, but you will never get to where you’re supposed to go next if you don’t take a step forward.

These are my own lessons from my personal journey. While not the be all end all, they are definitely things that I have had to remind myself of often.

If you are in the midst of a breakup, you may find yourself somewhere along the path of the grief process, which is totally okay! Those stages need to play out. Just know that there is hope for your future! AND don’t get hung up on the things that are going to slow you down and keep you from moving forward. You’ve got this!

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What a year! Certainly not one I expected! Filled with remarkable ups and downs. This will not be a year soon to forget!

If you’re like most, you take this time during the holidays to reflect on the previous 364 days. Memories of the good times make you smirk. Thoughts of some of those tough times may make you furl your brow. I know I’ve done a lot of this in these last days of 2013.

But the big question is, what did you learn? What were those lessons that stood out to you more than any others in 2013?

Here are three of the top things I learned this year:

Priorities Change. As I said in the opening – it was a remarkable year. Tons of great things happening for me personally and professionally, but then one unexpected storm popped up on the horizon that I didn’t see coming. In the last quarter of this year, my wife was diagnosed with stage 4 liver CANcer. My world stopped. My world changed. And so did my priorities. My wife and family were always a top priority, but the amount of time that I am spending with them has increased significantly and everything else has been deprioritized (including this blog). The learning? There will always be forces in your environment that cause you to constantly sort your priorities – you have to be aware enough to see and understand those forces and then flexible enough to adapt to them appropriately.

Mentors Matter. Everyone should have mentors. People you look up to. People that will make you better, either by modeling behavior for you or outright helping you. I’ve had several mentors this year that have poured in to me and helped me grow significantly this year. Sometimes you have to seek them out. Sometimes they find you. Either way – get some good mentors! And not just professionally, but personally too! Who was my MVP this year? One of my friends and colleagues that beat CANcer in 2013, became my mentor when my wife was diagnosed. Not only did he model unbelievably awesome behavior of how to handle a tough situation like this, he outright helped my wife and I in our journey. Get good mentors!

Attitude is Everything. There is no doubt in my mind that attitude absolutely makes a difference. A bad one can drag you down and a good one can help you soar to new heights. I have a favorite saying, “You can’t always control what happens to you, but you can always control how you react to it.” I’ve seen it multiple times this year – A good attitude makes any situation better. And as a leader, it is even more critical to have a great attitude regardless of the situation. Why? People are watching you. They are modeling you. How you handle a situation has repercussions well beyond the situation. A generation of future leaders will take your example and emulated in their own futures – good or bad. My favorite this year? Back to my CANcer mentor (and his wife). Unbelievable attitude during his bout with CANcer! Simply amazing!

Obviously, you can see where my focus is. But some of my greatest leadership lessons came from something very personal.

What did you learn this year?

As the clock strikes midnight, I wish you and yours a fantastic and blessed 2014!

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Recently, I was talking with some colleagues about leader behaviors. When I asked what attributes they valued the most, I found their responses intriguing. Not surprising, but interesting.

While there are certainly many important attributes that are critical to a leader’s success, the three we pared it down to were well worthy of a mention. A leader that does these three well will find themselves in a good place with their teams and colleagues.

What were they?

#1: ACCESSIBILITY – People want access to their leaders. This takes different forms depending upon the roles. Good leaders are characterized by utilizing the “open door” mentality. This doesn’t mean that people can demand any specific time and or amount of time from their leaders, but it does mean that their leaders are available to them within reason. It also means that team members feel comfortable knowing that their leader will be there for them when it really counts and that they will spend an appropriate amount of time addressing their needs and/or issues.

Leader Actions: For you leaders (again) your actions may vary by your role and circumstances, however, the key is ensuring that you set the expectations and ground rules for what accessibility looks like. It could be, “I hold open office hours MWF from 8-10am”. Or weekly recurring meetings with direct reports. Or allow unscheduled in-person drive-bys. Or quick response via email, text, IM, or whatever medium. The key? Make sure your people know how they can access you.

#2: APPROACHABILITY – People want their leaders to be friendly, cordial, easy to talk to, and open to what they have to say. This isn’t the same as accessible. Just because you’re door’s open doesn’t mean that people will walk through. They need to feel like it’s okay to walk through. Unfortunately, I’ve actually heard someone say, “I’m not their friend, I’m their boss.” Clearly this person misses the point. It’s not so much about being BFFs as much as it is about people feeling like you’re open and engaged. Approachability leads to greater communication, greater engagement, and greater morale.

Leader Actions: The number one action you can take to be more approachable is to LISTEN. Active listening tells people that you’re interested in what they have to say. Ask good follow up questions. Mind your body posture and non-verbal cues – make sure they are sending the signal that you are invested in the person that is talking. Don’t clock watch. Be in the moment with that team member. Don’t be immediately dismissive of their ideas. Listen. Don’t always be so serious. Praise in public. One of my favorite leaders always said “Don’t give some of the credit away, give it ALL away”. Smile and laugh WITH your team.

#3: AUTHENTICTY – The most important attribute that people wanted from their leaders is for them to just be the ‘real deal’. People have an uncanny way of seeing through facades – they may not always see it directly, but they can feel it. They can tell when you’re not being yourself. Even when well intentioned, not being yourself comes across as fake, disingenuous, and untrustworthy. People want their leaders to be genuine and natural. Trust is an earned relationship and one that works both ways. Authenticity is a key to building a trusting relationship.

Leaders Actions: Simply put – Be yourself. Be real. Be genuine. Don’t put on fronts and facades. Don’t make yourself out to be something you’re not. Be a straight shooter and honest with others but always in a respectful manner. Serve others. Be humble.

Again, while there are many more attributes that are useful and necessary – these three felt right on spot. And not just for formal leaders – but for the informal leaders as well.

Especially now, when the business environment is swirling with change, people need to anchor on their leaders. And they need their leaders to be accessible, approachable, and authentic.

This last weekend, my 11 year-old niece played in one of the USSSA girls’ fast-pitch softball World Series tournaments. My family and I packed up and drove to the tournament to cheer her on. And while I am always happy to see my niece play and spend time with the family, I must admit – in the interest of full transparency – I wasn’t that excited about watching young girls play softball ALL SATURDAY LONG. It’s not that I’m down on girls’ softball – it’s just that I couldn’t see myself spending ALL DAY there.

Fortunately for me – my ignorance didn’t get in the way of me witnessing something truly great!

Let me lay this out for you quickly and simply.

My niece’s team played a total of thirteen 90+ minute games in this tournament, six of which were on Saturday alone. In this double-elimination set up, they found themselves fighting through the loser’s bracket after an early loss. The 12-girl team also found themselves down one pitcher due to injury. Consequently, they played the entire tournament with only two pitchers, one of whom was my niece, Destiny.

NOW – at this point in the story – let me tell you that if you’ve ever thought that young girls’ sports aren’t exciting – take it from me. You’re wrong. I was. And I’m not too big to admit it. To say that this experience was humbling would be an understatement.

First, it completely terrifies me how fast an 11-year-old girl can pitch a softball – underhand.

Second, these girls that are 4-foot-nothing can HIT! …and field! (For those of you unfamiliar with softball/baseball terms I simply said “they can play!”)

I was in complete awe of the skill at this age. The most shocking thing, however, was that they just kept going and going – pitch after pitch – play after play – game after game. Most adults I know would have wimped out long before these girls did.

The six back to back Saturday games spanned 14 hours in temperatures that had a heat index of around 100⁰F.

I found myself cheering on each individual player much like I would my favorite professional or collegiate athletes. Listening to their parents – I was drawn in to their personal stories, which made it more fun. It was like watching (a very long) awesome lifetime movie unfold before my eyes.

Throughout the tournament, these girls scored a total of 123 runs while only allowing 33. Wow!

Their hard work paid off! In the end, they found themselves in the championship game. The only trouble was that they were going to have to beat the other team twice in a row to clinch the championship title (because of the double elimination rule), but the other team would only have to beat them once.

As they went head to head, Destiny’s team blew the other team away in the first game. They carried that momentum into game two – and were up 6-0 at the end of the third inning. Unfortunately, the girls were worn out (as you had to play more games in the losers’ bracket) and the other team made a late rally in the final innings to beat them.

They left the tournament in second place as far as the USSSA was concerned. But in my heart and the hearts of the parents and family – they are champions!

Proud Uncle Side Note: My niece won the MVP Pitching award for best tournament pitcher. I’m so proud! 🙂

So what does this have to do with business?

Tons. Here are FOUR KEY LESSONS I walked away with.

ONE: Cheer on your teammates…even when they make mistakes. While I witnessed several great plays throughout the game, I also observed a host of errors too. Nobody’s perfect. But whether success or failure – the girls were the first to genuinely cheer each other on – time and time again. They clearly had each other’s backs and continually lifted each other’s spirits.

Business Application:How do you encourage your teammates? In the workplace, our teammates need us to genuinely cheer them on. Lift them up. Encourage their efforts. Share in their successes. And help them get past their failures quickly. They need us to have their back – and vice versa.

TWO:Don’t judge a book by its cover. The second base player that they affectionately referred to as ‘Tic-Tac’ was of course the shortest and youngest on the team. The first time I saw her step up to bat I thought, “oh boy – this isn’t going to be good” and even looked away. And then I heard that solid ‘crack’! You know – the sound when the bat connects perfectly with the ball. I whipped my head around to see the ball flying into deep right field. I was in shock. As I watched Tic-Tac for the rest of the series – I discovered that she was a softball monster! She was a regular deep hitter, fielded the ball superbly, and caught several fly balls on the run. I certainly misjudged her.

Business Application:How do you learn about others?We judge people we don’t really know all of the time. Sometimes it’s by brief first impressions, other’s opinions, or just general assumptions we make about them. However, I challenge you not to succumb to an uninformed opinion. Get to know people for who they are, the true capabilities they possess, and the experiences and knowledge they can share. Who knows – you may have a power player on your hands and you don’t even know it.

THREE: There’s no crying in softball! Oh wait – yes there is! I saw it. BUT – through tears of frustration, exhaustion, and sometimes pain, I watched these 10-11 year old girls fight on. It was inspiring! In the very last game – after pitching all day – my niece stood on the pitchers’ mound in the final innings. She was brought in to relieve her worn-out partner. And as tears streamed down her face from being exhausted herself, she kept throwing pitch after pitch. Talk about digging deep! It was a testament to sheer determination of will that all of these girls continued on.

Business Application:How strong is your resolve?Perseverance is critical to accomplishing any great task, especially when you’re up against tough odds. When it gets tough, double down on your resolve. It is these moments that define individuals and teams.

FOUR: Always be a good sport. One of the things I was most impressed with was that the girls exhibited what I would call stellar sportsmanship.Every time someone was hurt (on either team) the girls took a knee immediately out of respect. At the end of every game – win or lose – the girls would meet the other team at the pitcher’s mound join hands and pray together. They always congratulated the other team. And in the final championship game – they showed their grace as they cheered the other team on as they received their first place award.

Business Application:How do you demonstrate business sportsmanship?One of my favorite life lessons– You can’t always control what happens to you (even when you try your best), but you can control your own reaction to it. Business sportsmanship is displayed through our attitudes, integrity, and ethical/moral behavior. Always choose the higher road – regardless of what happens to you.

Sports always provides great parallels for business. There were actually several more lessons from this day that would be business applicable. But beyond the four I shared above, I want to call out my own very personal learning with which I started the story – don’t knock it until you try it. I was clearly wrong about girls’ softball. It is pretty awesome!

The thing that caught my attention through all of this and that should catch yours is that these lessons came from the behaviors displayed by a group of strong and determined young ladies. They certainly set the bar high for us adults. And if they can do it, we can do it!

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Don’t you just love it when you can see the lightbulb come on in others?

Recently, I had a conversation with one of our senior leaders and they were talking extensively about servant leadership and the importance of it in our business. As I then sat through several meetings after that, I was very keen in my observations of those leading and participating.

What did I see? That we need more servant leadership. We need to lose the egos and practice some humility. We need to stop working in silos. We need to be inclusive of other perspectives. We need to be respectful of people’s time and opinions. We need to champion and challenge each other. We need to get away from what’s most important to MEand put others and the good of the organization first. We need people to realize that ‘how’ we get there is just as important as getting there (if not more so).

In listening to Walmart CEO, Mike Duke, over the last few years he has been very clear that servant leadership is an attribute and behavior expected from our leaders at all levels. So why is it that this message isn’t always filtering down or demonstrated?

Then I remembered one of Tim Yatsko’s (EVP @Walmart) favorite Don Soderquist (former COO @Walmart) quotes, “Don’t assume they know. Tell them.” While this is a paraphrase and Don was referring to Integrity – I think the theme of the message is equally relevant here. Maybe their leaders, mentors, and peers aren’t telling them. Or holding them accountable to it.

So, I am telling you. Be a good servant leader. 🙂

If you become known for this throughout your organization, I guarantee you that your career will blossom and flourish.

Servant Leadership is one of those topics that should be a regular course of conversation, because it’s important! And not just at work, but in life in general. It’s not something that we turn on and off. It’s something that permeates who you are and is reflected in your thoughts, words, and actions.

I realize that we all have different aspirations, styles and ambitions in life, but my personal experiences have led me to the truth that I am most fulfilled and accomplish the most when I am able to help or serve others.

If servant leadership is a new concept to you or is something you don’t understand, feel free to reach out to me, your mentors, or your leaders and inquire. This is one of those “journey” things. We all have to start somewhere. Once we start, we find that there is always more to learn. And the people that care about your growth and development should be happy to help you on your journey. 🙂

Special note for leaders: Teach. Teach servant leadership. In your words. In your actions. Talk to your teams about it. Don’t assume they know. Expect it from the leaders on your team, whether up-and-coming or seasoned. Hold them accountable to it. Teach them to teach it. If you want to leave a mighty legacy – invest this in others.

If you take anything away – let it be this –> Be a good servant leader.