As we have told y’all before, Yolanda has been in this “business” a very long time, kiddies. Thus we should have seen — or at least suspected — what was going on with this particular property a long time ago. But idiots that we are, we overlooked all the obvious signals.

When we say “this” property, we’re referring to the 2.63-acre former Mandeville Canyon estate of TV producer extraordinaire Fred Silverman, which (a few months back) sold for a massive sum to a mysterious LLC. We searched high and low for the buyer, but we couldn’t figure it out for the gosh-darn longest time. Were they shady foreigners? A hedge fund guru from NYC? Some secretive entrepreneur?

Turns out Yolanda should have been looking right under our very nose. Right next door, in fact. Because we happen to know (finally!) that the new owner is mega-rich investor (and longtime Mandeville Canyon resident) Mark Attanasio.

The former Fred Silverman estate (blue borders) and the Mark Attanasio compound (red)

But we digress. The interesting thing about this purchase, y’all, is the Attanasio estate is already one of the biggest in Brentwood, with 3.49 acres of land and about 22,000-square-feet of living space spread out over at least five or six structures. Make no mistake, that’s massive.

With the addition of the Silverman land, however, the Attanasio estate has now ballooned to become one of the very largest on all of the Westside. We’re talking 6+ acres of land on 6 parcels and 8 or 9 structures with over 33,000-square-feet of living space and dozens of bedrooms and bathrooms. Damn! The poor Attanasio family maid is gonna have to call in reinforcements, y’all.

The Silverman estate was grandiosely referred to in listing materials as “the most important compound on the Westside”, a statement so pretentious and ridiculous that it boggles the jaded Yolanda’s mind. Seriously, we don’t mean to be rude, but how the heck can you call this thing “most important” when the Attanasio estate right next door is way bigger already? Most important?! What does that even mean? Ugh.

Sorry, kiddies. Yolanda is a tad grouchy today because the red Cadillac is back in the shop. Some fool rammed the ol’ gurl because we turned without using our turn signal. Then he had the nerve to start bitching about us being a bad driver! Puh-lease, hunny. Get real — this is LA. ‘the hell is a turn signal?

People these days!

Anyway, the Silverman compound is certainly pretty. There is a swimming pool, a proper north/south tennis court, lush lawns, an enormous (and fully stocked!) koi pond, formal gardens, meandering pathways, and parking space for dozens of vehicles. As of today, the compound’s three structures remain standing. We rather imagine Mr. Attanasio will leave this property as-is and use it for housing guests, staff, or as overflow parking for events at his 13,000+ square foot main house.

For some reason, the MLS shows a sale price of $17,765,000 but public records clearly show the recorded amount was actually $16,688,500. We can’t explain the discrepancy, but we’re going with the recorded price on this one. Regardless, Yolanda would estimate the entire Attanasio spread — including the Silverman compound — is probably worth at least $50 million or so.

Buckle your safety belts, however, because this is hardly Mr. Attanasio’s only compound. We don’t know how rich this guy is, but based on the real estate he’s gotta be a billionaire or very close to it.

Over on Malibu’s ironically-namedBroad Beach, Mr. Attanasio owns not one but two separate oceanfront spreads, into which he has sunk (per property records and permits) at least 50 million bucks.

Mark Attanasio’s compound on Malibu’s Broad Beach

The first compound is a two-parcel spread (with a detached garage/guest house and full-size sport court!) that sits directly between two $20 million mansions, one owned by Friends creator Marta Kauffman and the other by multi-billionaire businessman Edward Roski.

Mark Attanasio’s other Broad Beach compound

A bit further down the beach, however, is an even larger compound also owned by Mr. Attanasio. This two-house property is actually three contiguous lots (one of them vacant) totaling about an acre of land. There are two swimming pools and what appears to be a small palm tree forest. Yolanda hopes there is at least one hammock hiding in that there forest. Ahhh, paradise.

The larger house and the adjacent vacant lot, y’all may be interested to know, were both bought by Mr. Attanasio from none other than trouble-making (and baby-making) actor/real estate baller Mel Gibson.

Why on earth Mr. Attanasio wants or needs two fiendishly expensive compounds on the same beach is unknown to Yolanda, but property records are clear that he has owned both for the last decade or so. And one of the houses is available for sale right now, so there’s that.

In addition to his excessive LA real estate, Mr. Attanasio also has a multi-million dollar duplex penthouse in Milwaukee, naturally. Cool. But now we’re back to praying that our Caddy survives to see another Sunset Boulevard cruise.

Yolanda, I’m praying for your Caddy, too, that she recovers in the clinic and is discharged in full mechanical health, looking better than ever before! That fool shoulda known you were turning, even without a signal.