October 02, 2008

surrender

On Sunday morning we received the good news that a man in
our church is coming back to us from the brink of a very dark time in his
life.Darkness can take so many
forms for different people, but for this man, his time of darkness led him to
surrender.I’ve been thinking for
a while about what it means to surrender to God, and the example of this man is
an encouragement to me.He knew
that he was crashing, and he had the humility to lay down the things in his
life that gave him his meaning and identity in order to give himself over more
fully to God’s healing love.And
even more, what made that surrender possible for him was the profound reality
of being a part of a supportive community who could be trusted to take up his
slack and take care of him and his family.What a gift!

We’ve only been attending this church since June, but it has
already been so healing and encouraging for both of us (all 3 of us,
actually!)From the moment I first
walked into the meetinghouse last spring, I could sense that there was
something was profoundly different about the place.There is a warm humility and powerful sense of healing that
is part of the core identity of the congregation.(We also love the Mennonite theology, having both been very
influenced by Anabaptist thought over the years.)Many of the people there are “recovering” from their
experience of Church in other places, and have found Taftsville to be a true
refuge.

I am enough of an idealist to believe that ALL churches
should be refuges, but I am enough of a realist to know that for so many
people, Church has been a source of pain, judgment, confusion, guilt and
bitterness.It seems to me
that somewhere along the way in Christian history, the Church took the reality
of our human brokenness and twisted it beyond recognition into a doctrine of
worthlessness.I have heard so
many Christians for so many years express a sentiment that indicates that they
can do nothing right—anything good they do is because of God.While I do believe on some cosmic level
that the Creator is the Source of all, I also believe that we are created in
God’s image, and therefore have inherent ability and worth that is not marred
by sin/brokenness.

On a personal level, I have been thinking about my own
resistance to practicing hospitality to myself.I think I still have some leftover psycho-spiritual baggage
that tells me I’m not worthy of hospitality.This is a lie.I will never know true freedom until I can take as much delight in
myself as my Creator takes in me.As a mother brims with pride and joy watching her child, so my Heavenly
Mother loves me.The surrender
that I need to give myself over to is not only surrender to God, but also
surrender to myself, to my own care of myself.It’s that whole “love your neighbor as you love yourself”
thing.It implies an appropriate
self-love, one that recognizes our own inherent dignity as well as the inherent
dignity in others.I don’t think
we can have one without the other.

So this is a long and rambling post, but I guess that’s what
this blog is for—a space for me to explore things I’m thinking about.I’ll leave you with a song that is such
a balm for my spirit.If you are
not familiar with the Psalters, well…I don’t know how to describe them.They are some really great folks, and they make fabulous music, some of
the only “Christian” music that I can stomach, in fact.And this song is one of my
favorites.Happy listening!

All Who Weary by the Psalters

the crowd has gone awayfamily went home to staythe good Christians gave their last prayersas old friends offered one last solemn stare

we walk the dirt and stoneit is the land of a refugee aloneforgotten men on long forgotten roadsso far to go so few to share the load

everyone has come and gonebut the road is still a thousand
miles long

“come to Me all you weary and I
will give you rest”

the patrons left the carnivalthe sight seers seen their last sightsthe mourners all cried and wentand the new dawn has given way tonight

everyone has come and gonebut the road is still a thousand
miles long

“come to Me all you weary and I
will give you rest”

one more step, one more step,to my love, to my rest

Note: Until typing out the lyrics tonight, I thought the final line was "love yourself" instead of "one more step." My version of the song always makes me cry!

Comments

surrender

On Sunday morning we received the good news that a man in
our church is coming back to us from the brink of a very dark time in his
life.Darkness can take so many
forms for different people, but for this man, his time of darkness led him to
surrender.I’ve been thinking for
a while about what it means to surrender to God, and the example of this man is
an encouragement to me.He knew
that he was crashing, and he had the humility to lay down the things in his
life that gave him his meaning and identity in order to give himself over more
fully to God’s healing love.And
even more, what made that surrender possible for him was the profound reality
of being a part of a supportive community who could be trusted to take up his
slack and take care of him and his family.What a gift!

We’ve only been attending this church since June, but it has
already been so healing and encouraging for both of us (all 3 of us,
actually!)From the moment I first
walked into the meetinghouse last spring, I could sense that there was
something was profoundly different about the place.There is a warm humility and powerful sense of healing that
is part of the core identity of the congregation.(We also love the Mennonite theology, having both been very
influenced by Anabaptist thought over the years.)Many of the people there are “recovering” from their
experience of Church in other places, and have found Taftsville to be a true
refuge.

I am enough of an idealist to believe that ALL churches
should be refuges, but I am enough of a realist to know that for so many
people, Church has been a source of pain, judgment, confusion, guilt and
bitterness.It seems to me
that somewhere along the way in Christian history, the Church took the reality
of our human brokenness and twisted it beyond recognition into a doctrine of
worthlessness.I have heard so
many Christians for so many years express a sentiment that indicates that they
can do nothing right—anything good they do is because of God.While I do believe on some cosmic level
that the Creator is the Source of all, I also believe that we are created in
God’s image, and therefore have inherent ability and worth that is not marred
by sin/brokenness.

On a personal level, I have been thinking about my own
resistance to practicing hospitality to myself.I think I still have some leftover psycho-spiritual baggage
that tells me I’m not worthy of hospitality.This is a lie.I will never know true freedom until I can take as much delight in
myself as my Creator takes in me.As a mother brims with pride and joy watching her child, so my Heavenly
Mother loves me.The surrender
that I need to give myself over to is not only surrender to God, but also
surrender to myself, to my own care of myself.It’s that whole “love your neighbor as you love yourself”
thing.It implies an appropriate
self-love, one that recognizes our own inherent dignity as well as the inherent
dignity in others.I don’t think
we can have one without the other.

So this is a long and rambling post, but I guess that’s what
this blog is for—a space for me to explore things I’m thinking about.I’ll leave you with a song that is such
a balm for my spirit.If you are
not familiar with the Psalters, well…I don’t know how to describe them.They are some really great folks, and they make fabulous music, some of
the only “Christian” music that I can stomach, in fact.And this song is one of my
favorites.Happy listening!

All Who Weary by the Psalters

the crowd has gone awayfamily went home to staythe good Christians gave their last prayersas old friends offered one last solemn stare

we walk the dirt and stoneit is the land of a refugee aloneforgotten men on long forgotten roadsso far to go so few to share the load

everyone has come and gonebut the road is still a thousand
miles long

“come to Me all you weary and I
will give you rest”

the patrons left the carnivalthe sight seers seen their last sightsthe mourners all cried and wentand the new dawn has given way tonight

everyone has come and gonebut the road is still a thousand
miles long

“come to Me all you weary and I
will give you rest”

one more step, one more step,to my love, to my rest

Note: Until typing out the lyrics tonight, I thought the final line was "love yourself" instead of "one more step." My version of the song always makes me cry!