This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.

A negative outlook on life can have serious consequences to your health, your relationships, and your feelings of satisfaction in life. Changing your attitude can be achieved through mindful, conscious thought and attention. Generating a positive attitude, practicing gratitude, and selectively forming new habits that promote positivity is a life-long process that can result in a changed attitude.

Get rid of negativity in your life. If there are people, activities, or situations in your life that continually feel stressful, you may need to let them go. A change in attitude depends on living a new kind of life. This might mean quitting drinking, using drugs, overeating, or smoking. Whatever the negative parts of your life may be, you'll need to let them go if you're going to develop a better attitude.

Consider joining a support group for people who are similarly motivated to change their lives for the better.

In making these changes, chances are you'll notice some patterns of positivity in your life. No one's life is all bad, and by letting go of the parts of your life that no longer serve you, you'll become more aware of the habits you want to strengthen.

Make sure your relationship is healthy. If you're in an intimate relationship with another person, this will affect your attitude. A healthy relationship should be positive, and result in feeling better about yourself. If you feel pressured to do things you don't want to, are afraid of the consequences of disagreeing with your mate, or if there is yelling or physical violence during arguments, your relationship may not be healthy. This will negatively affect your attitude.[1]XResearch source

Some disagreement is natural in healthy relationships. Most relationships have some combination of healthy and unhealthy characteristics.

Talk to a counselor together with your partner if you find yourself unable to change the unhealthy patterns on your own.

If you are in a relationship that is violent, or emotionally or physically abusive, seek help with a local domestic violence agency. You can find these agencies in the United States by calling 211.

Look for the positive. There's always something in any situation that is worth praising. For example, if it's raining out, you could either complain that you're getting wet, or you could observe that the plants will likely benefit from a good soak. Someone with a negative attitude can easily find the downside of any circumstance, but to develop a positive attitude you should force yourself to notice the good. Share your positive observations with others, and keep negative remarks to yourself.

Make sure to look for the positive in yourself as well.

Remember that everything is an opportunity to learn new skills, especially the things that feel most difficult at first. If nothing else, you can be grateful for the chance to learn new things in a bad situation.

Never stay in a situation simply because it's bad. You may be tempted to pretend that unhealthy behavior — a racist boss, an abusive partner, an emotionally manipulative friend — is providing a good opportunity for you to learn patience and tolerance. While this may be true, staying may not be the healthiest choice. One of the most positive things to learn from a bad situation is that you can leave.

Be kind to others. One of the quickest ways to feel better yourself is to be kind to other people. Whether this involves letting someone else have the right of way in traffic or writing a note to cheer up a friend, taking an action to help someone else will increase your positivity.

For best results, find ways to do kind things for others in a way that is completely anonymous. For example, fill up all the coin slots in a laundromat with quarters when no one is looking.

Don't just think of how you would want to be treated; imagine the way another person might want to be treated. For someone who's very shy, perhaps writing him a note to congratulate him on his presentation might be kinder than giving him a loud compliment and hug in front of others.

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Method 1 Quiz

When helping others, what is the most important question to ask yourself?

"How would I like to be treated?"

Almost! The Golden Rule is a great reminder that we should treat others with respect and kindness. Still, that may vary from person to person, and the treatment you would like might not apply to someone else. Click on another answer to find the right one...

"How do others like to be treated?"

That's right! While it's important to treat everyone with respect and kindness, that may mean different things for different people. Show kindness by acknowledging what others like, rather than assuming it's the same thing you might like. Read on for another quiz question.

"What is my environment like?"

Not necessarily! Everyone's environment is going to be different, but there are always unique and creative ways to be kind and respectful to others. There are more important things to focus on when spreading good will. Try again...

"Who really needs it the most?"

Not exactly! There will always be someone who needs help, food, or shelter. Still, if you can make the shy boy who sits next to you smile with a kind word, that's great too! Everyone benefits when you are kind and respectful. You don't always need to find the person suffering the most. There’s a better option out there!

Write a daily gratitude list. Every day has something to be grateful for, but some days gratitude is harder to find than others. To develop the discipline of finding gratitude on even your hardest days, practice writing a daily list.[2]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source

Some research suggests that writing gratitude lists by hand is a valuable part of this process. The physical act of writing by hand slows down your attention in a meaningful way.

If you really can't think of anything to be grateful about, pretend to feel grateful. Remember, you're still learning to change your attitude. Consider gratitude as, "Hey, it could be worse."

Send thank you cards. Learning to say "thank you" is an essential element of changing your attitude, and living in positivity. Whether you're expressing gratitude for something done recently, or something that happened years ago, write it down and share it with the person. Perhaps you want to let your 5th grade teacher know that her encouragement for your writing led to your blogging, or to thank your best friend for always sticking by you.[3]XResearch source

If you want to write the note, but not send it, that's fine. The purpose of writing thank you notes is mostly to practice articulating appreciation. It might not be possible to find people from your past, or the person might be deceased.

Research shows that people who spend at least 15 minutes per week writing gratitude letters, over 8 weeks, show a demonstrable increase in positivity.

Practice meditation or prayer. Practicing meditation or prayer deliberately places the mind in the present moment, which is vital for cultivating a positive attitude. Find regular times throughout your day to engage in meditation or prayer. These don't have to last long; setting aside three to five minutes will result in a difference in your attitude.
[4]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source

If you practice a religion, you might turn to prayers found in this religion. If you don't consider yourself a religious person, practices of meditation might be more valuable.

Even though it may not feel like it, practicing meditation and prayer is a kind of exercise. The more you practice, the better you will become. You may not notice the difference at first, but over time you will be able to maintain a calm, peaceful attitude no matter what's going on around you.

Start a gratitude jar. Keep a jar in a central location in your home, and every day write down one thing that you're grateful for that day. Watch as the jar fills with good things. If you ever need a "pick-me-up," reach into the jar and read a few examples out loud.
[5]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source

For another kind of gratitude jar, try adding some change or a dollar to the jar every day when you write in your gratitude journal. When the jar is full, use the money to find creative ways to "pay it forward:" buying gift cards for unsuspecting people who might need the help, or buying flowers for someone who rarely receives recognition.[6]XResearch source

Stop complaining. Instead, spend more time recognizing good aspects of your life. Consciously pay more attention to the positive things that you notice, allowing good things to become good experiences. [7]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source

Take ownership of your thoughts and actions. If you believe that you are powerless to make any effective changes in your circumstances or relationships, you may find it difficult to change your attitude towards your life. Instead, try to recognize your own part in making each situation or relationship the way it is. If you can find your own part, you can work towards either accepting it or changing it.[8]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source

Knowing more about why you've made the choices you've made may help you to avoid making bad choices in the future.

Remember that while most negative circumstances are the result of a conscious choice made on your part, sometimes bad things happen despite careful planning. No one is immune from being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

If you can't find another way to think about a bad situation, ask someone for help. Talk to a counselor, a therapist, a trusted friend or another person. You don't have to face this alone.

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Method 2 Quiz

What is the benefit of writing your gratitude entries or thank you notes by hand?

It will show the other person how much you care.

Try again! Thank you notes are a great practice, but you don't have to send them to the other person to benefit. You may also simply want to record your feelings of gratitude in a journal, which can also be beneficial, even if no one else sees it. There’s a better option out there!

It will help you to fake gratitude until you feel it.

Not quite! Some days it may be harder than others to find something to be grateful for. Faking gratitude on those days may be an effective solution, but there's nothing to indicate that hand writing will help you to do this. Guess again!

It will help focus your attention and allow you to linger on your grateful thoughts.

Absolutely! Most people type faster than they write by hand, which can put some distance between you and what you're grateful for. Writing your entries or thank you notes by hand can help to reconnect you with what really matters. Read on for another quiz question.

It will give you the chance to meditate.

Not exactly! Both meditation and gratitude are important to changing your attitude and staying positive. Still, meditation needs to be the center of your attention, so finish your gratitude journal first and then set aside time to meditate. Try another answer...

Wake up earlier. Waking up one hour earlier each morning allows you time to focus on yourself, your goals, and your intention to change your attitude. You might spend this time in meditation, or reading a favorite book. Having the time set aside to plan and reflect upon your day is an important tool in changing your attitude.[9]XResearch source

If it's easier for you to take an additional hour at the end of the day, you can try this. Most, but not all, people find it more productive to take time in the early morning hours.

Don't allow yourself to waste the morning time in negative mind traps, like reading depressing news or scrolling through social media.

Spend time with positive people. If there are people in your life who leave you feeling drained, unproductive, and depressed, you may need to spend less time with them if you're trying to develop a new attitude. Avoid depressing news stories and take time to read uplifting journalism. Put yourself on a "positivity" diet, and minimize the amount of negativity you take in per day.[10]XResearch source

This doesn't mean to abandon a friend who may be having a hard time, but if your friend's life is always full of drama and hardship, you may need to take a break.

If being around negative people is unavoidable (for instance, if it's your boss or supervisor) you may be able to put their negativity to use. Try to understand where it's coming from, and counter it with positivity.

Notice what makes you happy. That sounds easy, but it may not be something that you're used to paying attention to. Try making a list of things that you do every day (or, most days), then make a second list of things that make you happy. Compare your lists, and see what changes you can make to include more happiness.[11]XTrustworthy SourceHarvard Medical SchoolHarvard Medical School's Educational Site for the PublicGo to source

Think about what adjustments you can make to your daily routine to include more things that bring you happiness.

Pause several times per day to take your happiness level. If you're feeling happy, think about the circumstances that have contributed to this feeling.

Try to respond, not react. When you're in a stressful situation, think about it, use reason to find a solution, and do what makes sense. When you react, you skip the reasoning stage and respond automatically. This only serves to cause more problems and frustration.

When you're in a new, stressful situation, pause and take a deep breath before doing or saying anything.

If you can, take the time to think something out before giving an answer. Say, "I need to think about it."

Don't dwell on the past or the future. If you're trying to develop a new attitude, keep your attention on the present moment. When you find yourself worrying about the future, or revisiting difficult moments of the past, gently return your attention to the present moment.[12]XResearch source

You might use a particular word or phrase to return your attention to the present, such as "now" or "present" or "return."

Focus on one thing at a time. Research shows that trying to spread your attention too broadly results in increased stress and lower levels of concentration. Developing a greater amount of control over your attention will positively affect your feeling of well-being and positivity.[13]XTrustworthy SourceGreater Good MagazineJournal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier livingGo to source

Try not to keep multiple tabs up on your internet browser, and turn off your phone when you're watching television. If you are washing dishes, turn off the news. Doing one thing at a time, and doing it well, will increase your positive attitude.[14]XResearch source

If you have to multitask, set aside specific times for it. When the time is up, return to your single-task outlook.

When you're having a conversation with a friend, turn off your phone.

Slow down your attention to be more fully present in every activity.

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Method 3 Quiz

What should you do if you have to be around negative people?

Simply ignore them until they stop being negative.

Not quite! Unfortunately, some people simply see the world through a negative lens. While you can try to surround yourself with positive people, you may not be able to avoid a boss or professor. There are effective ways to respond, however. Try another answer...

Combat everything they say with two positive remarks.

Not exactly! While it's great to be positive and to help lift up others, it's not your job to force happiness on other people and it can grow tiresome. There are other effective responses. There’s a better option out there!

Ask them why they are being negative.

Try again! If a person you are close to is behaving out of character or complaining often, you may want to ask if they are okay. Still, this isn't the appropriate response for everyone. Pick another answer!

Try to understand where they are coming from.

Correct! You can learn a lot about positivity by understanding where someone's negative attitude is coming from. You may not be able to change them, but you will better understand positivity and you can practice it in their presence. Read on for another quiz question.

How can I get over someone I work with? He gets on my nerves with his selfish and bossy ways.

Community Answer

That is an exercise in patience and self control that you can practice. Just realize there are far more good people than bad in the world and karma will take care of the bad in its own way. Don't be a doormat for anyone but be smart, patiently taking some time, then your response will be measured, intelligent and effective and will stand a far better chance at resolving whatever your problem is with your co-worker. Again, this only happens if you can improve your patience and temper control.

I don't know how I change my attitude towards a person who doesn't care about me. What can I do?

Community Answer

What is crucial is how you treat the person. Don't become angry or try to be uncaring in return. You will need to get yourself to a place where you can accept the situation as it is, but expect a better future. You won't die if the person does not care about you, though it will hurt of course. The person's coldness should not make you cold. Be your loving self, regardless.

Ask yourself if you are mostly happy or sad, if people are attracted to you or if they avoid you. Are you grateful most of the time? Do you see the glass half empty or half full? Do you think life is not fair or do you take what life gives you and make the most out of it?

You can change your attitude as much as you are prepared to do it (according to the strength of your will). If you make a commitment to change your attitude, write a list of new, more helpful views/beliefs which you are going to adopt (substitute negative beliefs with positive). Then, focus on your thought pattern each day and don't allow negative beliefs to invade your mind, dismiss them. Draw upon all the positive views you have chosen and focus on these and your attitude will change for the better.

Yes, it is. If there is a problem anywhere, you could talk to a counselor and discuss your feelings. Hang out with friends and family members who make you feel good. If you are feeling stressed, put on some music or watch a show or movie. That will distract you.

Warnings

If you have signs of clinical depression or anxiety, you may need professional help to change your attitude. Check with your medical health provider, or call 211 (in the United States) to find local resources.

About This Article

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

To change your attitude, start by taking action to be kind to others on a regular basis. Just small things filling up the laundromat dryer with quarters for the next person or writing a quick note to cheer up a friend will increase your own positivity. Another key to having a positive mindset is practicing gratitude. Cultivate the discipline of gratitude by keeping a journal where you write down something from each day that you are grateful for. Extend that gratitude to others by sending thank you cards to the people who have helped you, whether it be for something that happened recently years ago. For more tips from our Counseling co-author, like how to improve your attitude with mindfulness and meditation, keep reading!

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 338,754 times.

Reader Success Stories

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Sonia Dawson

Jan 13, 2017

"The suggested steps are not overwhelming, and are simple things to add to your daily routine. Focusing on what makes you happy, living on your own terms, not being afraid to let go of unhealthy situations or relationships are key to a better attitude!"..." more

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Sneha Sharma

Jun 14, 2017

"My friends say that I have a bad attitude, and then I think that I do have a bad attitude. I read this article and it helped me lots. Thanks, wikiHow."..." more

TO

Tena O.

Mar 20, 2016

"I love this article. it gives me a moment to think about what I have and how I can improve my positive attitude."

MW

Marie Watson

Jul 28, 2016

"Take out several little breaks and just think throughout the day. And be patient with myself."

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Anonymous

Aug 12, 2016

"A lot of it was just a refresher, but it never hurts to be reminded of these things."

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Anonymous

Oct 29, 2016

"I wanted some words to start with. You did the job for me. Thank you."

"The suggested steps are not overwhelming, and are simple things to add to your daily routine. Focusing on what makes you happy, living on your own terms, not being afraid to let go of unhealthy situations or relationships are key to a better attitude!"..." more

SS

Sneha Sharma

Jun 14, 2017

"My friends say that I have a bad attitude, and then I think that I do have a bad attitude. I read this article and it helped me lots. Thanks, wikiHow."..." more

TO

Tena O.

Mar 20, 2016

"I love this article. it gives me a moment to think about what I have and how I can improve my positive attitude."

MW

Marie Watson

Jul 28, 2016

"Take out several little breaks and just think throughout the day. And be patient with myself."

A

Anonymous

Aug 12, 2016

"A lot of it was just a refresher, but it never hurts to be reminded of these things."