What Doesn’t Work: Fearlessly exercising all your rights…especially your right to free speech and your right to bear arms—”Legalize marijuana! Burn all the capitol buildings! My gun is bigger than your gun! Your breath smells like upchuck.”

What Works: Sign your ticket! Some people think if you don’t sign, you can somehow avoid paying, or by signing you are admitting guilt. Your signature is only a promise to take care of the ticket with the court. If you don’t sign, officers can just take you to jail, and you’ll have to wait hours or days to see a judge before you can get out. And if the officer says in his report that you were being a jerk by not signing the citation, your attorneys job will become much more difficult later on.