Libations: An in-home cocktail crawl

Purchase a minimum of two bottles for free delivery and receive a bottle of Marble artisanal hand sanitizer. Place your order by 2 p.m. for same-day delivery to Basalt, Carbondale and Glenwood — Wednesday through Saturday. Call for Aspen delivery days and times. Credit card charged at time of order, 21-plus ID required. Tax not included. Call 970-963-7008.

I’m not exactly known for my skills on the opposite end of a bar. I can whip out an opener from my back pocket like John Wayne on the quickdraw and crack a beer, but other than a whiskey coke, my cocktail-mixing prowess is disspectacular.

If you’re like me and panic-bought enough plastic handles of vodka to fill a bathtub, fear not: Your quarantine has been saved from cheap, depressing soda concoctions.

By the power of the amendments or something, alcoholic beverage delivery is now legal and being offered by an assortment of valley F&B establishments.

In memoriam of Aspen’s staple summer festival, the Food & Wine Classic, I’m going through a four-course liquid diet of the premade cocktail offerings Marble Distilling Co. will bring to your door in these might-as-well-drink-all-day times.

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BREAKFAST: BONEDALE BLOODY

Consistency is key for a top-shelf BM, as in you don’t want to feel like you’re sucking tomato soup from a straw. In addition to being drinkable even sans beer floater, this bloody packs plenty of flavor without being offensively spicy. Don’t forget to eat the veggies after finishing your drink. Remember, you want to start off the day with some nutrition and not Jimmy Dean biscuit sandwiches all the time. Pairs well: Frozen waffle, hashbrowns, egg over medium, tobasco.

LUNCH: MARBLE-RITA

The trick to maintaining a manageable BAC throughout the day is by not getting Dia de Los Muertos wasted at noon. Instead of a blender full of tequila, consider a more crisp party drink to be consumed either solo or dolo that utilizes Marble Distilling Co.’s unique Gingercello. Yes, we’ve been robbed of a springtime and — just guessing — probably summer. But we can still witness the warm seasons evolve through our windows while sipping a marg that tastes like optimism.

Pairs with: Microwave burritos. But to make it fancy, stick ’em in the oven 😉

DINNER: JJ CURLY

Smooth whiskey with a citrusy finish, complete with orange twist and luxardo cherries. Is there a prefix in the English language fancier than “lux”? Pro tip: If your old fashioned singes while heading down the esophagus and you start hacking up a lung, you’re using the wrong ingredients. Or you have the coronas — but circumstantial evidence suggests the former.

DESSERT: THE DUDE

Marble Distilling rolls a strike with the Moonlight Expresso version of a white Russian, perfect for a night on the couch after disinfecting your rug.

I’m just glad that when they name a drink after me, the “Caucasian” is already taken. Pairs well: A bowl of ice cream and a bowl of Trop Cookies.

But wait, there’s more! You also receive a free bottle of homebrew-made hand sanitizer with every order of two or more. Considering the prices Purell is going for online, you could even think of it as buying a bottle of sanitizer and getting a bunch of booze as a bonus.

“If we work together as a community, I truly believe we’re going to get through all of this,” head distiller Connie Baker said in an interview with the Glenwood Springs Post Independent. “It’s not going to be easy, but we can help each other out in any way we can.”

Some people need help keeping their hands clean; others need help keeping a drink on the table. Marble Distilling is taking care of both necessities.

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