Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Thorpedo’s “Difficult Decision”

Australian swimmerIan Thorpe, winner of five Olympic, eleven World Championship, and ten Commonwealth gold medals, has announced that he is “discontinuing” his professional swimming career.

Ian Thorpe is quite an amazing young man – thoughtful, articulate, and honest. At his press conference in Sydney where he made his announcement, the 24-year-old Thorpe appeared equal parts calm, grateful, and relieved as he talked about his illustrious swimming career and his “difficult decision” to end it.

Listening to him speak, I was reminded in many ways of the experiences of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) people (myself included) and our choice to leave behind previous lives, relationships, and/or careers in order to “come out” and be true to our deepest, truest selves.

I need to say from the outset that I’m not suggesting that Ian Thorpe is gay. Though it’s true that others have speculated on his sexuality – primarily in response to his quiet, mild-manner, and his long-standing interest in fashion and the development of his own line of designer jewellery and underwear – I’m not particularly concerned about his sexual orientation.

Instead, I’m simply intrigued with how the way he described his decision to quit swimming so closely matches the words and experiences of GLBT people’s decision to “quit” previous modes of being so as to live more authentically.

For instance, Thorpe talked about his swimming career as providing a “safety blanket”, one that in many ways prevented him from living a more “balanced” life.

How many GLBT people have hidden “safely” behind the straight personas demanded of them by their careers and/or their standing in the social status quo? I know I certainly did.

Thorpe also noted that even though it would have been “easy to follow the status quo”, he would have been “dishonest” to himself if he had continued swimming for the sake of others’ expectations and dreams.

How many GLBT people have stayed painfully closeted for the sake of others’ expectations and dreams for them? Some have even ignored their inner calling to the extent that they go through marriages with people of the opposite gender – all for the sake of satisfying others’ and societal expectations.

Like GLBT individuals on the verge of “coming out”, Thorpe acknowledged that in considering giving up swimming his first reaction was one of fear, followed by excitement about the ways his life would open up once the decision was made. He is now “proud”of making his “difficult decision”, and is looking forward to now being able to pursue the things that will make him a “better” person.

Like many GLBT people, I can strongly attest to the myriad of ways my life expanded and opened up as a result of “coming out”. Energies that had been employed in maintaining and safeguarding a secret, hidden life were now able to be directed into much more creative and life-giving endeavours. Since coming out I have blossomed in many ways. My relationships with self, God, and others have deepened and become more fulfilling.

I'm sure that now Ian Thorpe has abandoned a way of life no longer either satisfying or inspiring, he too will experience a blossoming of new and renewed energies.

As I said earlier, I’m not concerned about Thorpe’s sexuality. I don’t know if the guy’s gay, and I don’t particular care. However, even though I can’t say that Ian Thorpe is gay, I can say he’s queer. And I use this term in its most fundamental and positive sense: to be queer is to be “different”, or, according to the Collins Australian Dictionary, “not normal or usual”. Thus one doesn’t have to be gay to be queer.

In 2002, Thorpe himself acknowledged as much, saying that, “I’m a little different to what most people would consider being an Australia male. That doesn’t make me gay.”

So what does it mean to be queer? Well, as I’ve noted in aprevious post, to be queer is to be open and willing to go beyond (in thought, word or deed) the parameters of gender, race, heterosexality, patriarchy, and other socially-constructed (or manipulated) concepts.

My sense is that many young men of Ian Thorpe’s generation are ditching the narrow and destructive “macho” understanding of what it means to be a man. In its place, they have embraced and embodied something quite different - a “queer” spirit of openness, inclusiveness, sensuality, and vulnerability.

Gay, straight, or somewhere in between, Ian Thorpe embodies this queer spirit. And we’re all the better for it.

2 comments:

Dollface
said...

Hm, I think it's a bit offensive to call other people "queer" when they haven't claimed that word for themselves. Presumption, anyone?

Also, many closeted gay men aren't closeted in the sense you describe - the masculine gay man, for exammple. Does a gay man have to wear nail polish and call everyone "Dahling" in order to be a real gay? What if his natural personality is to be quiet and reserved and conventional? I love flamboyant men and drag queens, but let's face it, not everyone is born flamboyant or extroverted.

I think it's only offensive if one has a negative understanding of the word. I make it very clear that I don't. But it seems you do, Dollface.

Also, I'm not clear on how exactly you see me describing closeted gay men.

All I say is that many GLBT people have hidden “safely” behind the straight personas demanded of them by their careers and/or their standing in the social status quo. This includes those whom you label "masculine gay men." They may not have to hide as much as those who are flamboyant, but they're still living a secret, hidden life that takes energy away from the creative and life-giving endeavours of an authentic life.

I established The Wild Reed in 2006 as a sign of solidarity with all who are dedicated to living lives of integrity – though, in particular, with gay people seeking to be true to both the gift of their sexuality and their Catholic faith. The Wild Reed's original by-line read, "Thoughts and reflections from a progressive, gay, Catholic perspective." As you can see, it reads differently now. This is because my journey has, in many ways, taken me beyond, or perhaps better still, deeper into the realities that the words "progressive," "gay," and "Catholic" seek to describe.

Even though reeds can symbolize frailty, they may also represent the strength found in flexibility. Popular wisdom says that the green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm. Tall green reeds are associated with water, fertility, abundance, wealth, and rebirth. The sound of a reed pipe is often considered the voice of a soul pining for God or a lost love.

On September 24, 2012,Michael BaylyofCatholics for Marriage Equality MNwas interviewed by Suzanne Linton of Our World Today about same-sex relationships and why Catholics can vote 'no' on the proposed Minnesota anti-marriage equality amendment.

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