“Ukraine is no Iran! Yanukovych is no tyrant!” “Respect First Lady!” “Freedom for First Lady” “Vitya, show Lyuda to the world!”“Lyudmyla deserves tea with Obama!” “Lyudmyla deserves coffee with Bruni!”

Seriously, what’s wrong with Lyudmyla Yanukovych joining Michelle Obama for a tea party? Now that we have no enriched uranium left, our first lady no longer poses a radiation risk to the White House, does she? The two could discuss other ways to help Ukraine out of its resources.

Carla Bruni could grab a cup of coffee with our first lady on board one of those Mistral helicopter carriers. It’s a real treasure to have a friend like Sarkozy who helps Ukraine stay out of NATO and under Russia's wing.