And while it took Usher Raymond & his ex-wife Tameka almost a year to get divorce finalized and it took Sheree & Bob Whitfield almost 7 years, apparently Evelyn Lozada and Chad OchoCinco Johnson know somebody who knows somebody who could rush their paperwork through

The unemployed baller, who has had a rough few weeks since being arrested for allegedly headbutting his new wife, Evelyn Lozada, recently revealed a permanent solution to their domestic problems… in the form of Evelyn’s face… tattooed on his calf!

Just hours after his release from jail on $2,500 bond, Johnson was unceremoniously cut from his position on the Miami Dolphins, and first year head coach Joe Philbin says it wasn’t this one incident that caused their decision.

“With any type of these decisions, it was not an easy one,” Philbin said.

“It was not reactive nor was it based on one single incident.”

Johnson was charged with simple domestic battery, a misdemeanor. The Dolphins have cleaned out Chad’s locker while his new wife may be preparing to clean out his pockets after she reportedly received stitches for lacerations received in the incident.