Hi, everyone, this is Doug, with this month's traffic report. Once a
month, during the first part of the month, I send the report to
the entire HUMOR list. Welcome to the month of May, 2013.

If you have a complaint or comment regarding a post - send it to:
comments@thehumorlist.com
On any reports, the totals are for 'days submitted' and not for the
actual number of jokes submitted. Submission dates are based upon
Eastern Time. Although more than one joke may be submitted per day,
for the 'Daily Submission' count, only one submission per day is
countable for these totals.

I am really sorry to all the subscribers for the slowness of
updating everything. I lost my hard drive on March 20. The
main problem was when I got it back, I also upgraded to
Windows 7. It took me until the end of May to get necessary
files back from the old hard drive, upgrade necessary
programs, and get the program that does all this back in
shape. I can't work on all that 24/7.

I will start about the end of May and get the Digests and
Traffic Reports for each month out a week at a time. I
should be back up-to-date by the end of June. Until then
you
will be seeing this every month in the Traffic Report.

archive.thehumorlist.com
(HTML copies of Digests and Yearly and Monthly Traffic
Reports)
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Traffic Report for May 2013
Week Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
1 6 6 5 5
2 2 3 6 4 6 4 5
3 4 4 3 6 4 4 6
4 5 7 7 5 7 7 6
5 5 6 5 6 2 7
May Apr May May
2013 2013 2012 2011
# Jokes for the Month: 156 150 234 156
# days of submissions for the Month: 31 30 31 31
# Average Jokes per day for the Month: 5 5 8 5
# Contributors for the Month: 15 12 18 12
# New Subscribers for the Month: * 1 7 9
# Members Unsubscribed for the Month: 2 3 39 29
# ** Subscribers as of end of the Month: 1601 1603 1754 2172
# Contributors as of end of the Month: 18 17 22 31
# Countries as of end of the month: 46 46 48 53
* - Statistics not available
** - Only Non-Concealed subscribers
The above statistics are based on addresses registered to our listserver. It
does not include addresses which receive HUMOR by other than direct mailings.
The numbers include only non-concealed subscribers.
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The HumorList is sent daily to the following countries:
Argentine, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Bulgaria, Canada, Chile,
Cocos Islands, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany,
Greece, Hong Kong, Hungary, India, Indonesia, Iran, Ireland, Isreal, Italy,
Japan, Luzembourg, Malaysia, Mexico, Micronesia, Netherlands, New Zealand,
Portugal, Romania, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africia,
Sweden, Taiwan, Tajikistan, Tonga, Turkey, Tuvalu, United Kingdom, USA,
The countries list is generated from the last part of your email address.
If your address doesn't end with a country name, it is assumed to be
from the USA.
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Number Submissions By Hour
--------------------------
00 to 11 3 1 1 0 3 2 4 26 15 21 12 6
12 to 23 9 12 10 6 7 3 3 3 4 1 4 2
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And now, the Top 15 Contributors. This will show you which
Contributors are sending the most contributions of Humor each month.
Those who are posting every day are noted.
Top 15 Contributors from 5/1/2013 to 5/31/2013
Contributor # Posts
*Paul Benoit 31
Maurizio Mariotti 25
George Matyjewicz 22
Mickey Hennigan 21
Lee Bradley 20
Richard 6
Randall Woodman 5
Sandy (AKA MsSam) 4
Stan Kegel 3
Grady Lacy 3
Gerry Skau 3
Renaud OLGIATI 2
Humor Traffic 2
Marsha Coleman 1
Joe Whalen 1
* - Contributed Every Digest/Day
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The Humor staff is comprised of:
Sandy (AKA Ms Sam), Administrator and Support
Doug Harter, Assistant Admin, Archivist and Traffic Reporter
Bill Edwards, Founder and Listowner Emeritus
HUMOR GOALS
A daily average of 5-10 examples of humor.
A diversity of humor: sources, forms, subjects.
Freedom of expression for contributors.
Protection of sensitivities for readers (heading warning
requirement).
HUMOR CONTRIBUTOR RULES (brief version)
Subject line should disclose the subject of the humor.
Subject line should include warning if potentially offensive.
One contribution per day.
Only substantial examples of verbal humor should be posted.
Discussion, requests, and criticisms are not to be posted.
No personal attacks, apologies, reactions or retractions.
Articles should normally be shorter than 25 lines (99 lines max).
Conserve bandwidth: Avoid blank lines; No ASCII art or sig file.
A contributor who violates the rules may be suspended.
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Subscribe to The Humor List by going to
The Humor List Mailing Group
,
scrolling down to 'Subscribing to Humorlist' and filling in the
information.
OR
Sending an email to
with
'subscribe' (no quotes) in the Subject or Body of the email.
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Making Changes by The Web
Each Subscriber gets a Membership Configuration Page where you must
sign in with the password you were given when you subscribed. You get
to it by going to The Humor List Mailing Group
, scrolling down to
'Unsubscribe or edit options' (Under 'Humorlist Subscribers') and
filling in your email address. This will take you to another page
where you enter your password to get to your Membership Configuration Page.
Here are some things that may be done on that page:
o Unsubscribe from HumorList
o Turn Mail Delivery On/Off
o Turn Digest On/Off (Off sends individual postings).
o Set a Name for your email address
o Change your email address
o Change your password
0 Get a password reminder
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You may also make changes by Email by sending an email to
with one of the following in the
Subject or Body of the email (words in () are not needed, they just
explain what you can do):
o unsubscribe (from HumorList)
o set show (Show your current option settings)
o help (Returns help on email commands)
o set help (Returns help on the Set options)
o password (Returns your current password)
There are several other things which may be done, but they require
that you include your password in the email. Use these options with
caution.
o password oldpassword newpassword (Changes password)
The following must be preceded by the following command:
set authenticate password (password is the password you got when you
subscribed)
o set digest plain (Get Digests in plain text format)
o set digest mime (Get Digests in MIME format)
o set digest off (Get individual postings
o set delivery off (Stops postings or Digests)
o set delivery on (Starts postings or Digests again)
o set reminders off (Turns off monthly password reminder)
o set reminders on (Turns on monthly password reminder)
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And finally, the one feature which has been featured in all Traffic Reports,
the contribution of Humor. Since, I am not a real regular contributor, I will
not be providing new Humor. Instead, I will provide a joke from the archives.
It will be at least 14 months old, so most of you won't remember it. You will
either see the joke below or a link to the joke, not the actual joke, although
I will provide the Subject line (Topic). Since there are now HTML versions of
all Digests, it will point to the joke itself.
My contribution of Humor from the Archives:

This joke is joke # 5 in the Digest For 11/12/2004

The title of the Joke is: Dear Diary

From: Maurizio Mariotti
Subject:Dear Diary
(Excerpted from Pauly's secret journal)
Dear Diary,
Sometimes I miss those carefree days when I was a bachelor. Except the housework in my apartment. I hated it! I made my bed, did the dishes -- and six months later I had to start all over again.
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