A seasoned infertile rambling about the emotional roller coaster of trying to live with Primary Infertility,PCOS,and Male Factor Infertility.

Isaiah 40:31

"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall walk and not be weary, they shall run and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I find myself...

getting into these horrible rages. I didn't think it was possible that my body could actually be run by hormones and I couldn't stop this train wreck from happening. Yeah, I was crazy on the shots, but it got better, and I got a better grip. But I'll tell you now, I get this rage in me at certain situations and you just better get out of my way!

On my way home the other day, I was going down my usual road. Traffic slowed, then stopped, then I heard honking horns. I looked up, and there was a golden retriever in the road. Did anyone stop and get out to save her? NO! Well here I come to save the day! So I get out, get the dog to the side of the road. She is beautiful, has the best disposition. I'm a dog person and could tell these things immediately. I open up the back of my SUV because I think that I might have a leash in there. Well, lil miss just jumps right into the back. Hmm, she's done this before. I call the rabies tag on her collar. Vet clinic, long story short, they couldn't get the owner. So I was forced to take her to the humane shelter. I knew, from what the Vet Clinic said, the owner would want her back. And the local shelter will hold them for 7 days before doing anything. It was a viable option because I knew she wouldn't stay at my house. I have an underground, can't see it, fence. Not feasable for her. I didn't want her to get hurt.

So enter the hormonal rage. BTW- this is also the day that I had to see DR Oh No and was pretty ticked at her as well. So I get to the humane shelter. They give me this form to sign. I didn't want to sign the 4 things that were listed on the form. Legally, they kept the shelter from getting into trouble. But for me, I couldn't knowingly sign these statements, because since I didn't know the dog for more than 30 minutes, I couldn't answer them honestly and in good conscience. Well, then I tell the receptionist this. Bless her heart, she is so, well, she's just SO .... that she doesn't know what to do other than to bow up at me. Well, on the outside, I can be a polished classy person. On my inside, I'm a hormonal raging redneck ready to pounce. Lets say we had a couple of exchanges, both of our faces got red, my fists balled up, and right before I almost hopped over the counter to give her a smack down, I took a deeeeep breath, let it out, and signed the document in protest and made notation at the bottom that I could not sign this in good conscience. They took the paper, took the dog, and as for my thought earlier in the year of making a substantial donation to the shelter, its in the toilet. Just for now, until I can convince my inner redneck that its not the animal's fault they have this person working at the front counter. The dog was returned to the owner safely and happily. I spoke with the owner the following day and he was very appreciative. I love happy endings! Especially when doggies are concerned.

I wish I could have had my blood pressure taken when I walked out of there. No telling WHAT it was. But, I've been noticing that I'm easier to anger these days. I find myself being VERY opinionated, and not letting the least injustice slide. Is this the Mom in me pouring out?

Oh and an amendment to yesterday's post about being called, "Momma", I don't care what I get called, as long as I get called!

Our Family

Some day, Some how...

"Before there were more" came about as a title because on the infertility blogs I've read, they have ended up being parents some way (IVF,IUI,Donor Gametes, Adoption, Fostering, etc). I am so thankful to say, we have made it to the "other side". I never will forget how arduous the journey to get here was, and I will never forget my fellow IFers.