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Saturday, June 4, 2016

Dear Time, Could You Slow Your Roll, Please?

Last week marked the 20th year since I paraded into SMU’s Moody Coliseum as Pomp and Circumstance blared throughout the building.

Twenty years - for some reason that is harder to grasp then when I turned 30, mostly because it really does prove that my math skills suck. You know since I have been living in a world where I believe the 1990’s were just 10 years ago. For some reason the last ten years have been a complete blur as time has flown before my eyes.

I have been faced with the harsh reality that even when you live life well, it still passes too quickly. Meaning time, not your mortal life - even though in some sad instances that is true also, but I so do not want to jump down the rabbit hole of grief this morning.

I just want to press pause. I search frantically for the remote wishing I could even hit rewind and live some scenes over again.

For instance, Shelby’s freshman year in high school. Where did it go? There is now a high school sophomore living at the end of the hallway. Soon, we will start the college search and she will be driving.

One thing does not change and will never change with time - the fact that I am so over the moon proud of her.

Oh man, I just love this girl. She had great accomplishments this year and ended so beautifully.

I sat in her theatre banquet and thought, “All I want to do is help her achieve her dreams.” That and I really need to teach her the difference between a salad fork, dinner fork and dessert fork.

The Littles start pre-school (or Summer Camp at preschool) next week. Morgan, finally, achieved life without pull-ups (thank goodness). A few weeks ago we disassembled the baby bed for the last time (at least we think) and the girls are now in twin beds.

All of this just kills my mommy heart - before I know it I will be the mom crying as Pomp and Circumstance begins to play. In three short years I will have a high school graduate and two girls in elementary school.

Please say I am not alone when I scream, PLEASE STOP! I CANNOT HANDLE THIS!

This just drives home the fact that we need to Carpe the hell out of that Diem! This Summer I am going focus on what matters (don’t worry, I will still spend 4 to 5 hours a day thinking about the major project I have for work). I want to spend time with my girls now, I don’t want to look up and realize that I missed this time because I was too focused on things that in the end doesn’t account for a hill of beans.