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Wednesday, August 6, 2014

What Anorexia Taught Me about Self-Worth

This week, I'm sharing a personal story from my past. Thank you to iBelieve.com for featuring this article in the hopes that it can affect many women and families for Christ. I'd love to hear from you either by commenting or showing some Facebook love!

My struggle with
anorexia in middle school might be closer to your own story than you’d think.

I still remember sitting at that table in art class in the
sixth grade. I was sitting with my best
friend, and across the table was the new boy at school whom we both liked. We had talked about him in hushed voices
under our blankets at slumber parties.
We had recounted interactions with him for hours with giddy and hopeful
hearts. And we had wondered what it
would be like to kiss him – sixth grade style, of course.

There I was, looking at him across the table and knowing how
my friend and I felt. The three of us
talked about a variety of topics, but somehow the conversation turned to how
much we weighed. As an adult you might read this and think, “What?”
But as a middle schooler, you wouldn’t be surprised. Middle school is wrought with fledging
attempts at self-definition, and weight is a hot topic – whether it is
verbalized or silently brewing beneath the surface as an eating disorder. Anorexia is actually the third most common
chronic illness in adolescents.

My friend, who was shorter and skinnier than me, was quick
to say her weight. It was a good ten
pounds less than what I weighed. The boy
and my friend asked me several times what I weighed. At first, I refused to answer. Then I answered with a number that was five
pounds less than reality. And a new
conviction was born: I needed to lose
weight.

I was thin to begin
with, but I developed anorexia. With
every pound I lost, my sense of self-worth increased. My friend was a faster runner on our school team. After losing weight, I told myself that I
would be faster too. My friend was
wearing smaller clothes sizes. After
losing weight, I told myself that I would wear them too and be the one the guy
liked who had asked me that simple question at the art table.

Fast forward in our
lives – the circumstances are different, but the pressures haven’t changed. We want others’ approval. We want to be admired and respected. We want to accomplish our goals, which often
involves an appetite for competition.
This is human nature, but if left unchecked, it can result in the same
distorted sense of self-worth...

To read the rest of this article, please click here to find it on iBelieve.com.