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So you a friend of a friend has these two friends. He's good friends with each, not like friends of a couple but he knows them each in a unique way. They are somewhere within very engaged to married. So anyhow one has a tendency to cheat on the other. Its pretty obvious to everyone except the significant other, though a drug-induced blackout is always feigned and there is actually a group oblivious vibe lots of denial. Anyhow, is that normal? Can he be friends with either?

It sucks I just want to tell the one, but I know it would destroy each of them. Its really a relationship they need, there is just, you know, that extra on the side.

I say telling the truth isn't interfering, its stating the obvious. Nothing good ever comes from cheating on someone. In fact in my experience shit only gets worse when friends adn family choose to ignore whats going on right in front of their face.

I agree there is some shit you shouldn't get involved in, there are plenty of private things that are no ones business but I don't think this is one of them.

If the one getting cheated on is a good friend of yours I'd tell them. Don't get involved, tell them not to bring your name up (good people are trustworthy people.. but if you can't be assured your name won't come up i'd be wary of bringing anything up, because it would get real ugly).. but it sounds like one of them wants to believe the other is being faithful, very badly. In such a situation you can stand there and see it all happen and tell yourself you must be seeing it wrong, somehow.. don't know how, just.. somehow. has to be.

so.. if the one getting cheated on is a good friend of yours, save them the pain. be prepared to help cheer 'em up though. might go bad.

if they have some kind of arrangement worked out, there's no harm, no foul. "Oh, sorry dude, I didn't know, and it was just somethin I thought you should probably know about.. sorry to bring it up, more power to ya man" If someone's open-minded enough to let their partner sleep around, they better damned well be open minded enough not to get pissed off if someone comes up and tells them about it. It'd take a real jackass to pull that one off.

--------------------i finally got around to making a sig
revel in its glory and quake in fear at its might
grar.

Anyhow, right now its officially not my problem. In fact I might have imagined it, I mean maybe they were just all groping in the corner and then snuck out to go buy ice cream or something. Nothing wrong with ice cream.