School noteA mother whose boy had been away from school for several days sent a note to the teacher with the following excuse: 'Keptathometogoataterin.'

Putting on her parts.What about the country girl who went to London and found a job as a servant?When she returned home for a holiday her father was at the station to meet her.Showing off, she said to him: ‘Hello PA, how is Ma and all the little ones?He replied: 'Cum on hare, maw, and cock yar leg inter this hare dicky cart, and fur the Lor's sake leave orf a crackin' yar jaw'.