Face-furniture’s future

No sooner had I turned 40 than I noticed the world was getting fuzzier. Everyone began to look younger in soft focus, but I was working for TV3 at the time and realised I couldn’t read the autocue on the end of the studio camera. For a while I managed to get by through the simple expedient of having the camera move closer, but I was finally frustrated when the camera lens ended up only a few centimetres from my nose and my face began to expand in a gruesome fisheye effect on screen, traumatising viewers.
I’ve worn glasses now for nearly 20 years and can testify that face-furniture is ...

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