BIAN 邊：

Topic:
“Not knowing is love’s possibility”:
Standing firm, feeling the joy in the freedom to paint, left hand and right hand simply playing together, trusting, loving.

My harvest:
Alok’s light soft and powerful, Jintian would sometimes come in to give support, at times the whole of Existence would electrify me. During the first day, stress and swelling in the body from time to time would continue to appear. By the morning of the second day, after the standing qigong and drinking tea, I felt unblocked, movement began to flow.
In fact I didn’t particularly want to paint, nor did I have any ideas of what to paint. Yet I was surprised by each painting.
I saw the boredom of my ego, habitual ways of conduct and action, their mode always pushing me away from silence.
I noticed how important is the table beneath all the creating through non-doing. Without it, everything is just fantasy.
I saw the source of interference is not from external conditions. My expectations, conjunctures, previous experiences, and repression, these are the real sources of trouble. Yet, the inner voice, guidance of the soul in the moment, these comes from silence, from standing firm and from emptiness.
This is the secret of joy.