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Monday, 12 November 2012

First off, I feel like I haven't been to work in ages, I've had this insane flu mess - like I haven't been that sick since I was a child. And on top of being out of work from the flu, we had a long weekend, due to short staff and remembrance day. I am missing my babies a whole bunch right now and I can't wait to see them in the morning. I also had a great surprise when my best friend/little sister sent me a message saying "take your sister to work day tomorrow?" it was the best text I got all day. After this extra stressful weekend, I need some time with my girl.

Like I said my weekend was stressful, things have been rocky between Justin and I. We came very close to calling it quits, but I am so committed to that guy it scares me. I really suck at commitments, but not this one. Some people question why we are together if we have so many issues, but it's all about the love. I want him, despite our issues, issues can be worked out, some take more time than others, but we're make it through. We choose to be together, we want to be together. I don't believe in soul mates, I believe in love and hard work. I'm very old fashioned when it comes to relationships and I think so many people give up too easily these days. Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling people how to live their lives or that it's wrong to break up. Some people need to due to certain circumstances, but I think alot of relationships could be saved if people were willing to work harder at them.

I'm not married to Justin, yet anyway, but I still say for better or worse, he's not the only one with issues and just because this is his time for help doesn't mean I'm not going to be a strain on the relationship down the road, I'd like to believe that he would stick by me when I needed it the most. People have faults and they make mistakes, but it's forgiving and working at things that make a relationship last. I know I'll make my share of mistakes in the relationship so basically I don't want him to leave me behind, so why should I leave him behind and give up? Treat others the way you want to be treated.

This isn't going to be the long post that I had planned, because I'm not going to go into the crazy details of the problems in our relationship like I thought. I decided to focus more on our determination to beat the odds of the average couple these days. I want to be like my grand parents, I want to actually reach a crazy anniversary of 60 years together, instead of getting married and divorcing after 2 - 6 years.

Neither of us are easy to live with. I was an only child, everything is "mine", it has to me "this way", I'm anal and ocd about so many things, I'm a woman so I do get tired and cranky, I'm bossy and loud, I have weight issues, depression, insomnia and so much more. So it isn't just him, maybe I do drive him to drink, but he could do that to me too. I believe in being sober these days. I want my kids (see my...haha I mean our) kids to grow up with a father that doesn't need a glass every night. There was a time when I loved drinking and partying, but I made a crazy time in my life, just so I would have it to look back on, a learning experience and it was short lived. I don't have an addictive personality like he does, except food...but food is something you can't just give up like cigs and beer, you NEED food, so you can't give up that addiction, you have to learn to control it.

My point being, I love Justin and I want to go all out with him. Sure we have big fights some times, but we get through it, we work and pull through it. That's the main thing. We need to work the big stuff out now, before we bring rings and then babies into the picture.