2.03.2015

Name: Greg LuzinskiTeam: Chicago White SoxPosition: Designated hitterValue of card: A circleKey 1983 stat: Beard made of 50,000 porcupine spinesThe end of an era: Dear readers (yes, all 11 of you), nearly six years ago, we started this little website with one simple goal: to become famous and rich enough that we could quit our jobs. Now, while we did get quoted in the New York Times, that plan hasn't really panned out. Nonetheless, we've had a lot of fun and laughs bringing you some of the most hideous, dated, airbrushed and ridiculous cards we've encountered.

Today's post is No. 2,098 and the last for us here at the Bust. We know that there are thousands more cards out there worthy of skewering, but life has gotten in the way and it is time for the Bust Cup to return to its trophy case. We want to sincerely thank everybody who contributed cards to our site and helped us along the way. We know there are some of you out there who check this page every day, and while we won't be adding new cards, you can view a random post by clicking the button at the top of our sidebar. Not a great consolation, we know, but we're guessing there are a few you've missed over the years.

So, that's all, friends. We leave you with the man who started it all, Greg Luzinski, The Kodiak Brute, grinding away at his shaft for all eternity. Take care.

A) You got a better idea on how to spend a Tuesday?
B) Waiting for you, sweetheart. Just waiting for you.
C) He's getting back to his roots.
D) He's trying to sneak a peek up Kosar's shorts.
E) All of the above.

1.31.2015

Name: Greg AnthonyTeam: San Diego PadresPosition: PitcherValue of card: The dictionary page with the word "bust" on it, torn outKey 1991 stat: Always tried to blend into the backgroundSan Diego Padres scouting report on draft pick Greg Anthony: "He's got three solid pitches by which we mean we need to limit his pitch count to three. ... He's very insistent that we change our uniforms to paisley. ... Plus-plus ability to pose in front of trees. ... Almost strangled himself with his own necklace a couple of times. ... Eats Vienna sausages by the case. ... It's always risky drafting a two-sport star, but he could pay off. Wait, this is UNLV's Greg Anthony, right? No? That's it, I resign."

1.30.2015

Name: Al DavisTeam: Los Angeles RaidersPosition: OwnerValue of card: One black holeKey 1992 stat: Just won seven games, babyGood ol' Al: Al Davis was definitely proud of his three Super Bowl victories. Here are a few other things he was proud of.

1.29.2015

Name: Dwight BernardTeam: Milwaukee BrewersPosition: PitcherValue of card: The clump of hair clogging your shower drainKey 1982 stat: One side of beard an inch longer than the otherBrewing up a pop quiz: Why is Dwight so unhappy?

A) The team told him he had to start bathing
B) The team told him he had to evict the family of sparrows living in his hair
C) The team told him he had to get bigger glasses
D) The team told him he had to wear baby blue both on and off the field
E) The team told him he could do whatever he wanted because he was no longer on the teamCard submitted by Douglas Corti

1.27.2015

Name: Trey BeamonTeam: Pittsburgh PiratesPosition: OutfieldValue of card: One-third of a Chuck E. Cheese tokenKey 1995 stat: Beat your high score on "Daytona USA"It's The Caption, which might have (but didn't) run in the Pittsbugh Post-Gazette around 1996: "Pirates rookie Trey Beamon plays a racing game at a local video arcade Tuesday. It was a welcome change of pace for Beamon, who has been playing nothing but 'Punch-Out' at the plate so far this season."Card submitted by Douglas Corti

1.25.2015

Name: Ricky Ervins Team: Washington Redskins Position: Running back Value of card: See that bracelet? Even less than that Key 1992 stat: One fine for indecent exposure at the neighborhood parkBlack belt in awkwardness: Here are a few martial arts that Ricky Ervins enjoyed.

1.24.2015

Name: Luis MercedesTeam: Frederick Keys (Orioles affiliate)Position: Second baseValue of card: Absolutely nothingKey 1991 stat: Rated best-bunting second baseman who also shared a name with a carStart your engines: In 1992, the Keys were hoping Luis Mercedes could help them Ford their way to a title with his Jaguar-like speed and Ram-like power. Alas, Luis's average was Mini and his strikeout rate rocketed toward Infiniti. Quickly, Orioles management opted to Dodge a bullet and made the Smart decision, saying Tata to Luis in what was truly a Saab story.

1.23.2015

Name: Pat Woodcock Team: Ottawa Renegades Position: Wide receiver Value of card: 1,000 giggles Key 2004 stat: Wore a shirt that said "Woodcock" to workDo not pass Go, do not collect $200: Congratulations, Pat Woodcock, on your first-ballot, unanimous Bust Name Hall of Fame erection election. Only the best, such as Rusty Kuntz, Dick Pole and Steve Sharts, have achieved this honor so quickly but there's no doubt that Woodcock stands up to the test.Card submitted by Douglas Corti

1.22.2015

Name: Mickey HatcherTeam: Los Angeles DodgersPosition: OutfieldValue of card: Zero new ideasKey 1990 stat: 13 RBIWe've been here before: In 1991, Upper Deck was still a new brand, full of fresh ideas and energy. That was, until this card got produced. Oh, gee, Mickey Hatcher with a giant glove. How original! Why not go all out and get Glenn Hubbard to pose with a python, ask Jay Johnstone to put on his umbrella hat, and get Jose Canseco to take his shirt off? Yep, this was the moment Upper Deck moved to the cheap seats.

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The Measure of Bust

Baseball Card Bust has been brought to you by two guys whose athletic endeavors remain an embarrassment to their fathers. Their attempts at humor are fabricated stories; they are in no way meant to trample on the athletes' success on and off the field. This site is a testament to the value of sports cards, which stretches beyond price-guide listings and the enjoyment of collecting cards as kids.