Oscar True Love Declaration: Jen & John

They truly are a match made in famewhore heaven. I love them. I really, really truly love them. If you live for gossip, how can you not?

She spends all her days plotting against the Brange, he spends all of his days writing and filming press releases to promote his deep thoughts, the coming together of Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer makes so much sense on so many levels.

This is how it went down.

She elected not to walk the carpet so as not to face off with the Heavenly Ones up front. During her presentation though with Jack Black, seeing the perfection right there mocking her, well it clearly threw her off her game. Poor thing…she was nervous. She was shaky. She was up there for a f-cking eternity. All the while, Brad and Angelina, side by side, with matching smiles, laughed graciously for the cameras during all the right spots.

You were right if you thought she was outmatched.

But she had her young stud in the audience scheming the revenge.

So why not use her strengths to her advantage?

Ordinarily, Jennifer Aniston is always in black. Last night the dress was shimmer like her skin, bright like her glow, fit like a glove to that perfected Pilateed (sp?) body. And so she decided to give them what they wanted in the press room, stepping back for a very long photo session, smiling, giggling, waving, sending photographers into a frenzy. Seriously, I nearly seized from the incessant flashing.

A quick discussion about her hair and the braid – I’m all over it. Loved it. You say it’s too young? I say she’s supposed to be so “fabulous at 40!” So why not? Jen is dating a younger man, she has the body of a 20 year old…what’s the harm in a tiny braid? Go with the braid.

And then he met her backstage. John joined Jen and somehow several spies were able to overhear this most intimate exchange: "I really love you, every part of you." SHE said this to HIM!

Are you gagging or are you hurling???

So while the Brange was dealing with double rejection in their categories, leaks were already filtering out to the press room about the JJ PDA.

Next step: the first public carpet pose.

On the grandest night of all.

At the Vanity Fair party, they posed for the first time together. They also wrapped their arms around each other inside the Sunset while Wireimage photographers hovered to capture the moment.

These photos have circled the world several times now.

This, gossips, is a true partnership. A meeting of similar attention seeking minds. A perfectly executed attack. And I made a premature call last night. My Dewey Truman moment.