views and thoughts on topics, especially ones pertaining to christianity – with an emphasis on how most christians either ignore or discriminate against unmarried christians – and how christians have turned marriage and parenting into IDOLS and how there is no true support for sexual purity, virginity, or celibacy among christians – this is a blog for me to vent; I seldom permit dissenting views. I don't debate dissenters ————-

The ad gives a brief description of Brooks, including a photo with the disclaimer, “I look just like my picture, except I now have grey hair.” The “About You” section states applicants “Will be attractive being height and weight proportional.” It also goes on to say that applicants should be prepared to have children with Brooks and also be a stay-at- home mom.

He said his father has been ill and wants a grandson to carry on the family name.Brooks compared his father to Larry David’s character in the TV series “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” saying he “thinks he does the right thing, and then it all blows up in his face.”He said he’d never buy an ad like this himself, but “it’s worth a shot. Can’t hurt.”

Mark Wayne Howington, 52, was arrested Thursday and charged with assault after a woman said she entered the restroom in the Ohio Target store and had it pulled open by Howington. As he passed her, he allegedly “slapped her butt cheek really hard,” according to a police report obtained by The Blade.

The woman, Debra Piechowski, told ABC13 she was at a Target store with her niece in Toledo looking for a birthday and Valentine’s Day gift for her husband.

Howington co-hosts a morning show on (Link):Proclaim FM, a Christian radio station.

She went to security but the man who slapped her left really quickly.

Before I tie this in with pastor Doug Wilson (much farther below), I wanted to reiterate a few points I normally make about such stories when I post them.

I don’t know if this Howington guy is married or not, or a father. If he is either one or both, I can tell you this is another example of how being married or a parent are not indicators of maturity or godliness, as many Christians say they are. Nor is being married a guarantee a man is not going to pull sexual shenanigans on people who aren’t his wife.

Married people also sexually sin at times. Sexual sin is not the lone province of single adults.

Not only am I, a never married adult not having sex (I have chosen to stay celibate so far into my life), but I don’t go around doing things like slapping other people on their butts.

I have to say though, that I’m not on board with the whole feminist “slut shaming” view – one of the reports below contextualizes crazy man Saxton’s views as being slut-shaming.

I don’t think women who have been sexually assaulted are sluts or that they “deserved” to be assaulted, but I do disagree with feminists who reject any notion of sexual boundaries concerning consensual sex (links at bottom of post address that).

If this Saxton guy gets raped by another man (or raped by a woman), can I chalk it up to him wearing jeans and t-shirts?

“One street preacher said, ‘You know, if you dress like it, you act like it, different things like that, you’re asking for it.’ Therefore, you deserve rape. And his last three words I felt like were nice, and I decided to put them on a sign, and go to the event.”

“I believe there are certain qualities that may be worthy of rape,” claimed Saxton. “If a woman dresses proactively, gets blackout drunk, and is wearing really revealing clothing, then I would say that she is partially responsible for the rape.”

However, Saxton failed to cite any Bible verses to back up his bizarre claim that women should be raped because of their clothing.

According to The Huffington Post, Saxton also opposes feminism, Miley Cyrus, rock music, homosexuals, sex before marriage and Muslims.

M’kay. I was taught from the time I was a girl that sex was for marriage only. Taught this in Christian books, Christian television shows, church sermons, my parents, and obviously, that was the conclusion I got from reading the Bible on my own as a kid and teen.

I get into adulthood, still single, still a virgin, and I’ll be darned if most of Christianity today is telling singles and teens,

“Sex is no big deal! Just use “protection.”
Don’t feel shamed or dirty about pre-marital sex, and God forgives it anyway.
Let’s do away with purity culture, it’s so damaging to women! It’s forced on women by the patriarchy!”

Basically, virginity is not only not valued by self professing Christians today, but it’s also been attacked (yes, see (Link): this (Link): this, (Link): this for a few examples – I have more on the site, but that suffices).

Soooooooo…. I’m bothering to live by biblical sexual values why, exactly? Nobody else is, Christians are not. Christians are making a mockery out of biblical teachings about sex.

You can listen about this story on Chris Rosebrough’s show here:
(Link): Church in a strip club? (audio – pod cast)

A gentleman’s club in Ontario, Canada, opened its doors on Sunday to allow a church to gather. The couple leading the church says it is an attempt to attract those who would feel uncomfortable in a traditional church setting.

Jack and Sharon Ninaber, who are part of the Elora Road Christian Fellowship, held their first church service at The Manor gentlemen’s club in Guelph over Easter weekend. Sharon, Jack’s wife, told the local CTV television station that when she originally suggested the couple begin holding church services at the strip club, she was joking.

After discussing the idea further, however, the couple decided the unorthodox services would be a creative way to reach those who would shy away from a traditional church setting. They are specifically hoping to attract residents from Sue’s Inn, a nearby transitional house for the homeless and the addicted.

Why are Christians so obsessed with strippers? If they are not harping on strippers, it’s African orphans. WTF?
—————————–Related posts this blog:

Additional Rebuttals to CBMW Christian Gender Complementarian Heresy and Travesty That Declares All Females Must Submit To All Males In Heaven (Part 3)

I should note that not only are Christian egalitarians recoiling in horror and disgust over CBMW’s “women shall have to submit to all men in the afterlife” editorial, but a number of gender comps have as well.

Some of the writers or contributors or moderators of some of the following blogs are gender comps:

This is the first in a series about marriage and the connection between marriage to women’s gifts in the church.

Some people in an effort to keep women’s ministry gifts away from the benefit of men, teach that the term husband as the “head of the wife” means that men are to have authority over women and this eliminates women as having any kind of teaching authority in the body of Christ.

So does the term “head” mean “boss over” or “authority over” when it is connected to the term “body”?

CBMW (Christian Gender Complementarian Group) Teaching That There Will Be Marriage in the Afterlife And/or All (or Just Married?) Women Will Have to Submit to Men in the Afterlife

In the past, I’ve told anyone reading this blog they should visit Julie Anne’s (Link): Spiritual Sounding Board; it’s a blog that discusses spiritual abuse, as well as some of the topics I cover here, such as how Christians teach about marriage, dating, and gender roles.

Recently, Julie Anne found an odd page by CBMW (Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood), whose author seems to be arguing that not only will there be marriage in the afterlife for Christians, but that women must submit to their husbands. Here is the link:

Will there be Complementarian or Egalitarian marriages in heaven? What about Biblical gender roles in heaven? What in the world is Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW) talking about?

I don’t want to steal Julie Anne’s thunder, so I’ll not copy in much of her post but just a smidge and encourage you to drop by to read the rest – you should also visit her blog page to read the comments her readers leave. She often gets some very educated or just wise people who leave comments that you can learn from.

From the CBMW page “Relationships and Roles in the New Creation,” Walton writes,

Considerably more controversial, however, than the question of “what we shall be” in the new creation is the question of “what we shall do.”

Given that gender identity will remain, is there evidence that functional distinctions will likewise remain in the new creation? Will resurrected saints as male and female have gender-specific roles? How will we relate to one another?

Will male headship apply?

Initial responses will likely depend on whether such questions are approached from a complementarian or egalitarian perspective. Complementarians, who view male headship and gender-specific roles as part of God’s original plan for creation (and for the present age as well) are more likely to answer these questions in the affirmative

Other than the Bible saying that saints shall throw crowns at the feet of Christ and worship God, not a lot is said about people’s roles in the afterlife or in the millennial reign of Christ on earth, or in the “New Jerusalem”.

The Bible is pretty silent on what exactly men and women will do in the afterlife and when the present age ends. It’s foolish to build an entire view of gender and gender roles based on silence.

Later in the piece, Walton even concedes,

Although Scripture does not speak directly to the question of the effect gender will have on the lives of resurrected believers in the new creation…

Walton admits the Bible is silent on the matter and yet feels just fine using his own preferences to assert a bunch of nonsense about marriage and gender.

Walton, sir, your opinion is just your opinion, your preferences are your preferences: they are not binding on Christians, who are to follow only God’s word.

It’s laughable that a gender complmenetarian is attempting to carry over gender role concerns into the afterlife. As has been mentioned on Julie Anne’s blog by some of her readers, that is more reminiscent of Islamic or Mormon religion, not Christianity.

Mormons have an entire system of belief that hinges on a man marrying a woman in this lifetime and having a lot of kids, and their marriage and reproducing here and now has something to do with how many planets their Science Fiction God will bestow upon them later, or some such. (I read about their theology years ago and my memory is shaky.)

I really question the motives of Christian gender comps, I really do, and I do not mean that in a good way.

I think in part Christian gender comps are motivated out of a fear or loathing of secular feminism and homosexuality (they, I suspect, figure strict gender roles will keep people from acting out in a homosexual manner, or that they will keep women at home making babies), and a lust for power and control.

It’s not enough for these complementarians to want men to control women in a fallen world, they want this to hold over after death, in Heaven and the New Earth.

Jesus specifically told His followers not to lord authority over one another, but that is precisely what gender complementarians do, seek after male power over women.

In the Bible, Christ says there will be no marriage in Heaven.

Never mind that, gender complementarian teaching never really addresses never married adult women. It’s just assumed all women over the age of 20 or 25 will marry and have children.

NAIROBI, Kenya (CBSDC/AP) – A local pastor has ordered all women who attend service at Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church to refrain from wearing undergarments while attending so that they can more easily receive the spirit of Jesus Christ.

The Kenyan Daily Post is reporting that a pastor identified only as “Reverend Njohi” claimed bras and underwear are not godly. Additionally, the paper says Njohi wants women who attend service at the church to be “free,” and that there would be consequences for those who do not comply.

NAIROBI, Kenya (CBSDC/AP) – A local pastor has ordered all women who attend service at Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church to refrain from wearing undergarments while attending so that they can more easily receive the spirit of Jesus Christ.

The Kenyan Daily Post is reporting that a pastor identified only as “Reverend Njohi” claimed bras and underwear are not godly. Additionally, the paper says Njohi wants women who attend service at the church to be “free,” and that there would be consequences for those who do not comply.

The women were reported to have adhered to the new rule and attended the Church’s following service without any undergarments. They were even advised to check their daughters were not wearing anything under their outer clothes.

Kenyan pastor Rev. Njohi has raised not only a few eyebrows but red flags with his unorthodox suggestion of having his female congregants remove their bras and underwear before coming to church, so that Christ can freely enter their bodies with his spirit, according to The Kenyan Daily Post.

A pastor has reportedly told women attending his church not to wear underwear so they can feel closer to God.

The strange request was apparently made by Reverend Njohi at his ministry in Nairobi, Kenya.

The female congregants were forbidden from wearing bras and underwear during his service at the Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church, according to the Kenyan Post.

Njohi reportedly said worshippers needed to feel free in their ‘mind and body’ when attending, but strangely did not say men needed to leave their pants at home as well.

The pastor added there would be grave consequences if his female members did not adhere to the new rule, which was reportedly adhered to as most women are said to have attended the next service with no underwear.

In 2009, American evangelical extremist Scott Lively spoke to the Ugandan parliament for hours about the “evils of homosexuality.” Weeks later, the anti-gay bill was introduced, which parliament passed less than a month ago.

Last week, Uganda’s president Museveni wrote an eight-page letter to parliament, protesting this same anti-gay law. But hold your horses. Then his letter continues with an onslaught of stupidity:

“Some lesbian women go into the practice because of ‘sexual starvation’ when they fail to get married.”

(Reuters) – The Ugandan president has said he wants an anti-gay bill shelved for further study but described gays as abnormal and said some lesbians may be victims of “sexual starvation”, according to a letter he sent to the speaker of parliament.

Uganda’s parliament passed a law on December 20 that makes some homosexual acts punishable by life in prison and sent it to President Yoweri Museveni for signing. Under law, he has 30 days to sign a bill or return it to be amended or scrapped.

…Museveni said he treated homosexuals as abnormal because “the normal person was created to be attracted to the opposite sex”. But he disagreed with jailing or killing gay people.

“How about the women lesbians? Apart from the ones that are born abnormal and the ones that may become lesbian for mercenary reasons, there may be those that go into that practice because of sexual starvation when they fail to get married,” he said.

His view is similar to that of evangelicals, Baptists, and Reformed who believe that celibacy is IMPOSSIBLE for anyone over the age of 25 and/or unless God has “specially gifted” someone to be celibate – which is false. I still retain a libido (sexual drive) and attraction to men. Especially movie actor Hugh Jackman. He’s so dreamy 😆 (Click here to see what I mean, don’t worry it’s a “G” rated photo, it’s at the bottom of the post).

I’m not sure what this guy’s religious beliefs are, this President of Uganda, but true to a lot of conservative Christians (and Non Christian conservatives), they tend to have this knee jerk reaction where they assume if you are a female who has not married by age X, you must be a hetero, man-hating feminist, or, you are a far left liberal lesbian, or God only knows what else (you have too much baggage to snare a man, are too fat, weird… the list of assumptions is about endless).

At the least the dude acknowledges that women have sex drives, because a lot of Christians assume women aren’t the least interested in sex at all and believe all they want to do is read romantic poetry and snuggle.

Basically, what this Uganda president is doing is a form of what I call “Singles Shaming” or “Celibate/Virgin Shaming.” He clearly views adult singleness and/or celibacy as being abnormal or deviant or suspicious, when the Bible upholds both stations as being normal and acceptable.

At any rate, people do have some horribly strange, insulting, and inaccurate ideas about adult singles and adult celibacy.
————————-Related posts this blog:

This is a list of questions that a father of a single woman would make her boyfriend answer. Some assume an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist wrote this bizarre list (guaranteed to keep a single single forever!), but someone else said, no, it was written by a funadmentalist Prebyterian. I have no idea who first wrote it.

Some Christians are wigging out – usually the married, conservative ones, and if they even notice – that many Christians are not marrying at all these days, or not marrying until later in life, and are not having babies.

Conservative Christians don’t seem to realize that the very obstacle in getting Christian singles to marry is stupid, counter-productive conservative Christian courting, dating, and gender role (“all men are like such and such, all women are like thus and so“) advice, which amounts to telling men to stay away from women and vice versa, because any and all encounters will end in sex, and fornication, specifically, pre-marital sex, is perhaps the greatest sin EVER!

The list (appeared at “Stuff Fundies Like” blog) – and it is VERY LONG, around 400+ items:
—————————————The Pre-Courtship Questionnaire

An SFL reader passed along this pre-courtship questionnaire checklist received from a church in fundy circles. Keep in mind, this is the Pre-courtship questionnaire, just to see if you qualify.

Life Influences
1. Do you ever seek advice from others?
2. How often do you seek counsel?
3. Who do you seek counsel from?
4. What type of things do you ask counsel about?
5. Would you be humble enough to go to counseling if I felt we need to?
6. Will you go to counseling even if you don’t feel the need to go, but I do?
7. Will you go the first time you are asked?
8. Are you humble about seeking counsel or do you already have all the answers?
9. Are you willing for us to share our problems with a counselor?
10. Would you include your wife as a counselor?
11. Would you ask my opinion or my advice before making decisions? (Especially big ones?)What are the primary events or situations in your life that have defined who you are today–the most formulating experiences and periods of your life?
12. What have been the hardest things you have ever had to work through? The hardest things you have ever done?
13. Who have been the main disciplers in your life and the people who have impacted and colored your life the most? As a child, adult–whenever.
14. Who were your role models and heroes? For what reasons?
15. You are the result of the influence of which people?
16. Which women/men do you admire the most and want to be like? Why? In which ways?
17. Which qualities and personality traits do you see in other women/men that you desire to have yourself?
18. What personality traits and/or strengths do you see in women/men you know that you would desire for your wife/husband to possess?
19. What did you grow up reading/watching? What books have had the greatest impact in defining who you are–children’s books, fiction, history, theology, anything. Which authors have you always most enjoyed and/or admired? What films have been influential?
20. Do you read?
21. What do you read?

Your Spiritual Life
22. What are things you see as God’s blessings? Do you desire and cherish these things?
23. Would you be willing to die for Christ? If you’re not dying daily, how can you be so sure you would then?
24. What breaks your heart? What delights your innermost heart?
25. Are you a spiritual person?
26. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
27. What ministries do you serve in?
28. What can you offer your spouse, spiritually?
29. Who are your disciples?
30. When did you really start to seek the Lord?
31. When did you start to obey the Word because it was the Word?
32. What do you believe about Salvation?
33. When did [fruit of the Spirit x] start appearing in your life?
34. What is a besetting sin? What are yours?
35. What do you believe about sin? What do you believe about Rom 6 & 7?
36. What do you think about your family? Are you good friends? How is sibling ____ doing?
37. What does theology mean? Just lists of doctrines?
38. How do you get doctrine? How do you determine right doctrine?
39. What is your attitude towards historically held positions?
40. How big is your vision for your disciple-making influence?
41. What are your main messages?
42. Are you pursuing and involving yourself in fruitful projects that advance/build the kingdom?
43. Are you interested in/focused on continual spiritual growth – in yourself, your wife, and your family?
44. What is your heart towards the lost soul and what do you believe your duty to God is regarding that soul?
45. What is your vision for the Church?
46. What do you think are some of the main problems of the evangelical churches of today?
47. What do you think a Biblical Church looks like? How is it structured?
48. What is your view on the church and baptism, the church and communion, the church and evangelism?
49. What is the role of music in worship and the Church?
50. How many times have you read through your Bible?
51. Does God give you personal insights in His Word that are just for you?
52. Who do you share the insights with that God gives you?
53. How often do you have a prayer time?
54. When is your prayer time?
55. Do you have it on a regular basis?
56. About how long do you pray?
57. Do you have a prayer book or a prayer journal? Would you let me see it?
58. Do you plan for us to read the Bible together as a couple?
59. Do you plan to initiate Family Devotions with our future family?
60. Did your family have devotions together?
61. Who initiated the family devotions? Your Dad or Mom?
62. How often did you have family devotions?
63. What is your faith’s foundation?
64. Why do you believe what you believe?
65. Can you give me some examples?

I’d like to give my new love the hardly used vibrator of my deceased wife. That cool?

Dear Prudence,
In the summer of 2011 my wife and I purchased a top-of-the-line Jopen vibrator. We used it a few times and were just beginning to really integrate it into our sex lives when my wife died suddenly of a heart attack. (The vibrator had nothing to do with that.)

Now, more than a year later, I’ve begun to date again. I’ve met a woman with an open mind, and I’m thinking she might be interested in using the vibrator.

But I’m not sure how, or whether, to suggest it. Is it creepy to offer a dead woman’s vibrator to someone else? And if so what else can I do with it? Sell it on Craigslist?

It’s an expensive piece of equipment, barely used, and it should be employed (and loved) once again.

All of my wife’s other major possessions found wonderful new homes with dear friends of hers. But then again, a vibrator’s got a different—well, vibe about it. Sell it, toss it, or share it?
—Oscillating

What. The. Hell. Dude?

Ewww. Gross. And how is it that a moron like this gets a spouse, then a girlfriend… and meanwhile, I’m still single? Just wow.

We read this comment by one of the site’s visitors, below the article:

k tra May 18, 2012
The problem is hardly no talk of sex or sexuality at all in the church. Like the old joke, get bj while you can cause when you get married you never get it. It’s true and it should be the other way around. Everything goes before you get married , but then after that it’s all super clean and missionary. Where’s the “your body no longer belongs to just you” teaching?
We should be totally free to do EVERYTHING in our marriage bed, but the church is too scared to ever talk about sex, sex toys, bj, anal , spanking, try mentioning any of this in curch, I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!!!

What rock have you been living under, k tra? Pastors are talking about sex all the time from the pulpit these days. It’s possible this “k tra” person is a troll, but other than that, k tra, I take it you’ve never heard of preacher Mark Driscoll who not only wrote a book about marriage advice for Christians on the supposed joys of anal sex, but who also told his female listeners at his church that they should perform oral sex (“BJs”) on their spouses.

Driscoll has also spoken in vulgar, very blunt terms about sexual acts in lectures he’s given overseas, and he periodically writes sexually explicit material on his blog.

Then you have guys, like this married pastor, Schaap, who carried on an affair with a 16 year old church member, and who simulated sex acts from the pulpit, in front of teen-agers in the church and during a church service (quotes from FBC Jax Watchdogs blog, fbcjaxwatchdog.blogspot.com/2013/01/jack-schaap-blames-decreasing-giving-at.html):

Jack Schaap Blames Decreased Giving at Church for His Molestation of 16-Year Old Church Member
Schaap was and is a sick man who as time went on began preaching graphic, sexual sermons at FBC Hammond. Only a man who has a twisted mind, and who answers to no authority, would be able to deliver the sermon Schaap did in 2010 that best demonstrates his sickness.
At a youth conference, in the middle of his sermon he simulated masturbation for over a minute with a long stick held close to his crotch while he stroked the stick and made painful, orgasmic sounds as he talked to God. Watch it [Link to video]: here, and you’ll see what I mean.
It is simply unbelievable that a man could behave this way – in front of a audience of teenagers especially – and not be escorted off the property or arrested for his X-rated performance.

ME ON TWITTER. (@sololoner2) I AM NOT NECESSARILY IN AGREEMENT WITH THE VIEWS OF ALL ARTICLES I TWEET OR RETWEET. SOMETIMES I ONLY AGREE PARTIALLY WITH SOME OF THE CONTENT I TWEET. ON OCCASION, I TWEET OR RETWEET VIEWS I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH