Tuesday, May 27, 2003

I co-manage a home-Site of like minded individuals in matters of the Spirit and wider issues. The Site Membership is by approval only but anyone serious need only visit and make application. Many wonderful things are discussed there and so many Members have been saved years of anguish trying to sort out issues in their private and public world.

Hello everyone.
When I get a chance from work, or sleeping to recover from work and open my Warriors screen, it is like being faced with an open door to everyone’s open Lounge and experience.
I never cease to wonder as I read the heartfelt exchanges here, how beautiful it is when ‘like’ Spirit comes together.
We face conflict and problems in our lives because of the inadequacies within us. We face these sometimes only after the passage of many years; sometimes never in this lifetime. However in this atmosphere where Compassion, Love and Understanding are the aspirations, (for they are the cornerstones to Enlightenment,) – the years are shaved away. I see how our shared experience and motivation has driven the shadows from our midst time and time again.

Bruce I read your reply to Catherine (1125) and I don’t know about you Catherine, but it caused me to revisit so many emotions myself that I turned from the screen a few times to be able to get through it. Thank you Bruce.. You demonstrated yet again that your Spirit and awareness is that of a giant. You are another living proof of how the power can just flood through us when we yield up our grip on our own Conditioning…. (just as soon as we have found the courage within ourselves to face the reasons for it.)
The biggest irony is that failings within us produce behaviour which reinforces our superficial reasons for displaying the inadequate behaviour in the first place; while the real reason for our behaviour is once again avoided.

Eg. Someone would say, ‘I cannot communicate Love. I cannot connect.’ They become hardened; perhaps critical, severe. They justify their attitude with the fact that in their lives and relationships they have experienced aloofness and hurt from others. That it isn’t worth trying to offer Love because it will only lead to more aloofness and hurt…so their attitude becomes justified. In reality the person may have been brought up as an infant who received less open Love and affection than they should have received.
They grew up with that inadequacy as a part of them.
In relationships they may have been driven subconsciously to choose someone who was like the person in character who did not give them what they needed when they were small.
Subconsciously they desired their partner to provide the missing link within them. However they would be programmed to look for the slightest confirmation in their partner’s behaviour to confirm their feelings of suppressed loathing for the person who did not first give them what they needed.
This would have turned them, drip by drip, into a hostile partner themselves. Their opposite partner would have reacted to this inadequate behaviour and returned the hostility. The whole scenario would be complete in full circle, with the original feelings in our subject being confirmed and hardened once again.
How hard for our subject to look within themselves and admit that their mother or father, who themselves were screwed up emotionally because of their own chain of unchallenged reasons; had perpetuated ‘their’ inadequacies by continuing the cycle within their children.
Furthermore, that the whole process continued and continues, until someone is able to ‘Understand ‘ the process; to cut the cycle of conditioning, and no longer be a slave to it.
This self-awareness in all of the attitudes we have, leads finally to liberation and enlightenment.
Understanding where our own feelings and attitude originate produces self-forgiveness and forgiveness of those who passed the chain on to us.
It is so true that it is impossible to be truly ‘One’ with ‘Another’ and All things, until we are ‘One’ with ourselves. It is a process of internal terror until all of the demons within us are faced and conquered.
It is then, at last, that we are able to have ‘Understanding,’ and to be able to simply ‘Love.’

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

“From Darkness to Light.”

Two abiding memories formed the summary of childhood experience for the little boy as he now stood at the Marriage altar. One was of his awareness of something greater and good outside of himself, which also filled him to the brim when he thought he was going to be broken; then making him feel stronger than anything The other was of the familiar ritual where he had to drop his pants, bend with his head low and reach out to grasp the sides of the door frame, as his father spilled blood from his skin with lashing strokes from his leather strap.
These two experiences were replicated in many dramas, which produced a young man with an iron grip to his Spirit but with a mundane head that was totally screwed up.
But now he wanted to prove to the world and his father, that he was worth more than the dirt he had been brainwashed into believing was his value.
He went for the big one.. He excelled.. But soon his conditioning dragged him down to fulfil the failure instilled in him, ..and his time with the Elite of the Military came to an end.
He was sorely inadequate. Now he needed to start learning how to get in touch with himself. He needed support, for the journey toward light to begin. He needed a partner who would tell him how to tie his shoes, and how to feed himself… and how to draw breath.

At the altar, his partner was happy. For 18 years she had lived in the shadow of her several brothers and sisters as the last sibling.. Always the cast offs.. always the last for attention.. always least important… But now it was different.. She was in charge.. She had found her perfect partner and all he wanted was somebody to be lovingly in charge of him…
At 18 and 19years… the nearly two decades of run-in to divorce had begun.
That is how long it took for their journeys to play out within each other, and for the wheel to turn again. At the end, they were as strangers, unable to understand nor tolerate the
Alien presence that each had evolved into for each other… Their scars showed the depth and the distance of their experience together, and reflected the evolvement reached within.
Oh the Lawyers were good! …But his was less good..
Two good years she had in life with the man, a neighbour who had been there secretly and truer for her, before a heart attack reclaimed her to Spirit.
Two years on and our journeyman was living the fact of losing family, home, job, possessions, esteem.. but not Spirit … never Spirit… Its lessons showed the futility of coveting the Material and clinging to hurt. It never charged a fee.

But then… what was this…. A chance meeting.. The young man was in total confusion.. Here was someone with whom he seemed able to telepath.. It was quite funny. It went beyond funny when they found they shared the same unusual birthday, and the detail of their life journey so far played to perfectly parallel tracks.
He felt a conviction of Spirit.. that here at last was someone who was there to share Love at a Soul level first.
So many years he denied in his foolishness the fact of her journey on parallel tracks, but on a track that had not yet been laid equal in distance to his own.
The perfection of agony for years as he strove to defy the interval between them.. The build of frustration as she in turn; many years unready to share at Soul level, finally delivered the severance blow of betrayal… and the wheel turned again.

He now for the second time turned his face to Spirit and walked away from the efforts of his Love.. His home, job, family, possessions…. But not his esteem this time.. and not his Spirit… never Spirit.

Twice now he had returned from the dead. His lack of understanding had led him to the edge of the abyss. Two times he had faced the abject despair of grief, rejection and betrayal.. Two times he denied his Spirit… Two times, by any of the rules that hold for anything, his suicide actions should have ended his life.. Two times, Through The Direct Intervention Of Spirit.. he was saved from himself, his ignorance forgiven.. and the wheel turned again.

The elements were all in place… He had served two long terms in the classroom.
Would the pattern of his scars finally yield his lesson..

His wife and he, had been a perfect mismatch.. Their coming together was perfectly timed.. But evolvement to understanding requires conflict for the inadequacies to be confronted and dealt with.. The conflict was temporary, the lesson was permanent.
In his second relationship he was almost ready to make bonding contact at a vibrationary level first.. His partner was not… He was not yet even aware that he had evolved to seek this merging of Spirit.
..and for each of the Souls involved, the same process was taking place..
The father, raised by a substitute himself; … striking out at his own conditioning in his brutality to an innocent child….. instead of confronting it within him.
The wife who understood only her unhappiness at the complete lack of affinity with her partner.. and the seal of her true sacrifice as she returned to Spirit early, having fulfilled her Birth plan to be a catalyst of positive change in others..
The partner who could not understand the power coming from the spiritual electric fire which her man had turned on to her at full heat; combined with the gnawing desire to learn the use of wings she had grown herself during the relationship.

The elements were all in place and Understanding was his, at last.
He returned in his mind to the little boy and gave him permission to feel the way he did.
He returned in his mind to bless and thank his absent wife for her sacrifice in his pathway.
He returned in his mind to wish Love, direction and Peace for his former partner as she continued with her Plan..
Finally he looked at himself in the mirror and realised that beyond the illusion there was a greater prize… This was a prize of Spirit and it was everlasting… This was the Ultimate prize… to be One with all things while still of the Earth Plane. To be One with the true power of everlasting Love.. To be blessed as a direct conduit for this force.

But how could this be so… His lessons revisited him… Mind Body Spirit… He was of the flesh…. And all energies must be balanced to claim the prize… Mind Body Spirit
Male/Female.. no more conflict… the initiate could only dream … if these were not in balance…. This he realised… He thirsted like a dying man for the final connection… Could his energy really be balanced by the matching opposite form in true harmony - in this life…. He yielded to his friends in the Spheres for an answer…
and the wheel turned again.

He looked back to his own distant horizon now with Love, compassion, gratitude and forgiveness.
He Looked to his future with hope.. The doors opened before him… Some way ahead he recognised someone… They looked familiar… Very familiar…. It was a stranger….
But the stranger looked ‘as his own image’…in all of humanity, could she possibly be’……really really be, ……. his true balance..
He called across to her……..and the wheel turned again.
……………………………………………………..

I pray the Love of Insight and Understanding similarly lifts all those Brothers and Sisters here who travel their own pathways of conflict.. in the journey to Grace.
The closer we stand to our conflict, the more the image is blurred.
My Complete Love to you all.
Richard