one anonymous dieter's experience with trying "the beck diet solution" on the advice of her therapist, tossing it, and starting again from scratch.

count down to goal

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

compliments from my mother

"there's nothing left of you!"

she really said that. my mother, who used to be defined on the sidebar as mommie dearest- the source of all shame. i realize that doesn't come close to describing my relationship with my mother, but what could? how can you define a relationship with your MOTHER? but the fact of the matter is, to my mom i am still part of her. despite my adult voice and my true nose, she still thinks of me as being a bit of HER that's out there walking around without permission. it takes a lot from me for her to approve. she won't be impressed that i got into Big Name Grad School until i graduate. she won't be proud of me for trying to run until i succeed. it's taken 70 pounds for her to comment favorably on my weight loss (f'ed up, i know, but she's one of those people for whom "you're too skinny!" is a compliment, i swear).

and her scale put me at 162.0.

i'm taking it, because she has the same scale as my (broken) one and it will be two weeks or more until mine arrives (goddamn super saver shipping). i weighed myself there yesterday at 6pm, probably dehydrated. but shit, man. i look good. i'm not kidding. i believe it.