Short term memory

I usually complain about the fact that humans have a short term memory.

We do though, we will watch a hard hitting documentary about climate change and extinction and how we are one car drive away from wiping out this whole planet.. Then we will switch off the telly, get up and switch on the fan heater instead of putting on the wooly jumper grandma gave us.
We are short term creatures, only a couple of meals away from starvation.

There’s no wonder why most of the world can’t see beyond their own lives and don’t give a monkeys ass about what happens after they’re gone.

This short term memory is something to be ashamed of.

However the short term memory I am talking about is the kind that gets me through hard expeditions and training. It may be the only thing that will get me through Patagonia. (Although I really hope it doesn’t apply with the skill sets I need to remember, such as rope and kayak skills!)

I went for a run this morning and I feel great now but if I really think back to just an hour ago when I was on that run; in the rain, wind and mud, going up hills and feeling like my legs were made of lead, I realise that I’ve forgotten those bad parts. For me, any good that can be found in that kind of thing, out ways the bad.

It’s the same on bike rides. Going up a hill feeling like you’re not making any progress as your thighs burn and you wobble because your speed isn’t enough to keep you riding smoothly. Your lungs are at full capacity, your breathing hurts, your heart is pounding out of your mouth and your eyes droop as the hill doesn’t ever seem to end. But then, you’re at the top, the incline has changed and now you are going down, free wheeling and you think “that wasn’t too bad.” Already you’ve forgotten that feeling of struggle.

At 5200m gasping for air.

I’m all too aware that Patagonia will consist of extremely hard struggle the majority of the time. What I’ve got to cling on to however is the idea that any little ray of light or enjoyment, will allow me to forget the terror and let me look around and appreciate what I am doing and where I am. Our team camaraderie should assist in this.

Because let’s face it, it’s been my choice all along to sign up to this ridiculous challenge that I am in no way qualified for. It should also be my choice to have a little fun with it and be grateful to everyone around me who have supported me in this insane idea.