Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Hospital Outing

We made our way to see the surgeon at the hospital. Long story, short. Everything stays the same for another 10 days.

Concussion seems to be getting worse though. Possibly that's part of healing. Feeling worse before it gets better. Light, noise and dizziness are on the menu. Feel depression setting in. Husband is frustrated and discouraged. He's had to leave the room and go lay down when the grandchildren are having too much fun. As I help him to his room and get him comfortable I can't help but think about the time I had to excuse myself from the drama at a friends house only a few months ago. I just left the room and went to lay down and listen to a meditation session on my iPhone for 20 minutes then I returned.

I was criticized for doing so. WHY?

Since having cancer I have become less passive in standing up for my needs. It is fear that I face each time I decline to do what the group is doing. Is it worth listening to the belittling? Is it worth listening to the verbal diarrhea? Is it worth the hassle? Sometimes yes. Sometimes no.

In the last blog I mentioned the holiday that went from sweet to sour. It went sour because I failed to respect the needs of my body by saying I need to stay quietly alone for the day. My body paid a high price with a diabetic reaction.

I came home wanting to run away from my life. My entire being wanted to die and go to heaven. I have no energy to plan an escape. Now I must care for the needs of another.

I told our daughter my needs are at the bottom of the list again. So she suggested I make a list of what I need to do for myself and slowly make them happen. I really appreciated her advise. I really wanted to go for my vitamin IV at the Naturopath's office. That was on the top of the list. I called our son and asked him to spend a few hours with his Pa so I could go to my appointment. I called one daughter to spend a few hours with us. Another daughter to be available so I can drop off her Pa and spend a few hours with a friend.

That is of encouragement to myself.

What's on your list? It's up to you to make it happen. If you don't, chances are no one else will make it happen for you. What will you do to encourage yourself? What will you do to move forward?

Visiting the Psych Ward.
The day before my husbands accident we were helping a family friend in need. He ended up in the hospital. I asked my husband if he was OK after seeing the surgeon that we go see our friend. He agreed. We were lucky to get in as they have special visiting hours.

It was a quick visit. Well appreciated. As I listened to our friends concerns I thought about mankind in general. We all want our freedom. We don't want anyone to control our lives. We have fears. We want to be reassured. We want to be loved. We want to be heard and understood.

A lot of people have a difficult person to deal with or are living under a dictatorship. When someone is controlling us or our fears control us. And we no longer have the freedom of choice. We shut down. We all shut down in different ways.

How does one escape from their situation? There is no escape. Our friend can't escape the hospital and I can't escape from YYC. The only thing we have control over is our thoughts and how we're going to handle our emotions during our situation.

How about we run away just for a day. Visit - www.MyBigG.com On the menu bar, under My Big G is My Big Dream. There you'll see what I did to help myself through my thoughts of escaping.

Much Love,
Mrs. Encouragement

p.s. Sometimes you have to stop thinking so much and just go where your heart takes you. My heart takes me around Alberta. My province in Canada. Encouraging women just for a day. A weekend. Creating a lifetime of happy times with happy wives spreading happiness to their unhappily retired husbands. Are you with me?

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Where? How? When?

How to plan a runaway.

We came home from a sweet holiday that went sour. The Italians have a saying: La Dolce Vita. Which means the sweet life. With all the economic situation in Italy the way it is, the saying has changed to: La Dolce Vita e Finita. The sweet life is over!

When life gets tough the tough get going. Where are they going to go? So . . . .

I started planning my run away and so did my Italian husband. I would plan on leaving my empty nest. Questions I asked myself: Where would I go? How would I get there? When would I leave? What would I take? How long would I stay? How much money would I need? What do I really really want?

Planning a trip for a holiday is one thing. Planning a runaway for an extended period of time, totally different.

Where would I go? How much would it cost?

Divorce - That was my first option. Take half the money and get the heck out of here. So I started my realtor.ca research. Living in a condo - you need to pay condo fees. I had no income. Getting my Canada Pension Plan in a couple of years wouldn't cover food, shelter and transportation. So I'd have to give up my car. Which lead to me look for a condo on (YYC-Calgary) Calgary's C Train line (public transportation).

Volunteer - To teach English. Over a couple of weeks I read what I could and came across a reputable company. When I filled out their questionnaire about where to volunteer. I was shocked at the place it chose for me due to my age, likes and qualities. Naples Italy! That's where my husband is from. Really, why not. That's the best place I could be. I understand Neapolitan a bit. I love Italy. Let's see what happens. But that's only for a few weeks. Hence I could leave for a couple of weeks to a month. (Funny movie I've watched in the past: Shirley Valentine - she ran away to Greece for 2 weeks)

Snowbird - I could become a snowbird for a month in Arizona. That would cost a minimum of $2000.00 a month plus car rental, food and entertainment. Live in Mexico for 3 months. Not sure how much that would cost. For more than a month without family around that wouldn't be fun.

Amica Retirement Center - $3500.00 a month for a studio suite. All meals and recreation included. Salt water pool, private kitchen for cooking, entertaining & feeding 12 friends. A movie theatre. Located in 32 locations in Alberta, BC, and Ontario. You can go on a staycation for under $150.00 a night. ie: run away for a couple of days, relax be fed and entertained Now that's a cool run away for a few days or recovering from surgery.

Ask husband to buy me an apartment. Pay the bills. Come for weekend visits. I thought that was the best idea of the list. He didn't go for it.

Final idea: Buy an apartment on a cruise ship and travel the world- only requirement is your net worth must be $5Million.

But for now my time is limited on what activities I can and can not do with my time AS I'M stuck here looking after a man who thinks he's invincible. A man who is very impatient. That man is my Neapolitan husband.

He has a concussion. Both wrists broken. One had to be reset. Two types of casts. One plaster and one fiberglass. Going to see a surgeon to see if he'll need surgery as he crushed a few bones on the wrist of the arm he uses to work with. To stop the impact of hitting his head on a brick wall playing indoor soccer he's stuck on this new healing journey AT HOME.

Just before this happened, he was planning his running away too!! Now he's stuck with me. No driving for 2 months. He needs me for just about everything.

Happy husband, happy home, happy wife oh what a wonderful life!!

Do you think My Big G is trying to tell us something! Our daughter said to us "You two are meant to stay together. Pa, when the Dr tells you to be kind to your wife, take it seriously. If that's all you learn from this situation let that be your lesson!"

Last November he was pulling up my pants after breast cancer surgery. This year I am pulling up his pants. Who is wearing the pants in this family? My Big G is telling us to be kind and take care of each other.

I hope you gain insight into your life as you read the details of my life. I will continue to blog further updates.

We are thankful for two broken wrists as that saved my husband from severe brain injury. We'll focus on being grateful as we missed the Canadian Thanksgiving while on holiday in Italy.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Espresso, Gelato and Courageous Women!

We were on a cruise. Rome to Venice. To begin our day in Zadar Croatia. The stop before Venice. We found our selves on a bus with 2 new friends from our evening dinner table and the friends we were travelling with. The bus which was provided by the cruise ship at no cost was the only form of transportation. It was a long drive into the old town center. It would have been too long of a walk to get there. Never saw a taxi along the way or any tour guides like in Valletta - Malta, or Kotor- Montenegro.

We walked around for quite some time enjoying the unfamiliar sights and sounds of the area. We ladies noticed that the men could not walk and talk. One of the men requested that we sit down to enjoy the view and have a drink. We were sitting outside in the sun.

I needed something to eat and get out of the sun! A drink would have sent me over board.

I'm Type 2 Diabetic so drinking water and having many snacks keeps me going. Yet I feel so uncomfortable being the only one eating in a group setting.

I did order a salad which would have satisfied a mouse. I was still not feeling like myself. So I went to the bathroom to look into my grab bag of snackies. I was about ready to open up my foil pouch, but in walked two other women. When they left in walked another one. So I went into the inner dining area where the servers were coming and going. No one said anything as I quickly swallowed the chicken and quinoa in the baby food foil pouch.

I then went for a short walk down the path and got something else out of my bag to sustain by blood sugar.

By then my husband came over to tell me the others noticed I wasn't doing well. I assured him I'd be OK soon and I'd join them again.

As I made my way to the table our friends were ready to go go go again! I asked who paid and said thank you. We made our way around another part of the old town. We came across a gelato and espresso bar. Wonderful. We loved espresso and our friends loved gelato. As we enjoyed our espresso one of our friends was talking up a storm with a couple of the clients who were enjoying their gelato.

With this being a new business in the area of only 3 months, our friend did a survey to see what the customers would enjoy with their espresso or gelato. I believe the consensus was 'cinnamon buns'. The aroma would bring in more customers.

One of the customers was at the table next to ours. Turns out she was visiting her friend who was the owner of the espresso/gelato bar. The owner over heard me talking to my daughter on the phone. She understood English and said "You're so lucky you'll be seeing your daughter soon! I will not be able to see my mother as she passed away a year ago from Cancer. I left home when I was 17 and only saw her once a year.

Now I have time to visit with my mother and she's gone. My friend had breast cancer this year and has come to visit me!"

What could I do but bring out my 'Courage' sign! So that's just what I did. I told her the cancer stories of our group. We shared a few tears then took a photo and began the walk back to the bus. That is the story of Courage in Croatia.