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I was stuck in traffic on the Long Island Expressway, listening to , when I had “the moment.” It was 2014, and the video of Eric Garner dying in Staten Island after a police choke hold had just surfaced. That was a big deal for me—and it was the moment I realized how much I do have in common with people of color.

All of these people were calling in to say that ­Garner had been breaking the law, he was resisting, the police officer was right to do what he did. And if I believed the police should judge each situation free of bias, then I had to look at my own dating decisions that way too.

When I read the results, all I could think was: Everybody hates black women! I remember looking around at the people in my all-white department and thinking, My God, no matter what I do to try to meet someone, at the end of the day, the main thing people see is that I’m black.

The truth was, at the time I felt I shared a stronger commonality with people who were white. And things shifted in me after the killing of Trayvon Martin, as more and more black folks got shot and tensions between the police and people of color reached a fever pitch.Which reminds me: I hear Jeff Goldblum is into younger women. Meet loads of available single women in Black with Mingle2's Black dating services!Men answered messages from other women—Asian, white, Hispanic, everyone—with average reply rates between 42 and 50 percent. And then there was my own baggage: Up to age 25, my attempts at dating—and I say “attempts” because they weren’t working—had almost exclusively been with white folks (men and women; I’m queer).I found black people attractive, but I didn’t feel I had much in common with them.