Eddie Huang Introduces All-You-Can-Guzzle Four Loko

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The Community Board members who convinced Eddie Huang not to name his latest restaurant Crackhaus couldn’t stop this from happening: In what’s perhaps the most déclassé thing to happen to a beverage program since Michael Psilakis’s “brown-bag collection”, Huang says he’ll unleash a $15 all-you-can-drink Four Loko deal at Xiao Ye. If you haven’t had the pleasure, Four Loko is one of the sweet, caffeinated malt liquor drinks (containing 12% alcohol and the equivalent of a tall Starbucks coffee) that were just banned in Michigan and are being considered for bans elsewhere after recent hospitalizations. (Frank Bruni recently tried the stuff: “Until I felt a slight flush in my cheeks and subtle tingling on my scalp, I could have convinced myself that I was drinking candy.”)

Huang tells Eater he’ll offer the deal on Thursdays only, from 6 p.m. to 11 p.m., and warns that the Loko is “not a drink, it is chlorine in the gene pool. It weeds out all the people unfit for the next generation, like Darwin in a can.” If you see an ambulance idling on Orchard Street, you now know why. Thing is: With all the attention Four Loko is getting, why doesn’t a similar concoction, Joose, get more love? Check out Joose’s amazing theme song here— orange in my system, red in my system, blue in my system, Joose in my system …