My Birthday Song, 2014 Edition

You are here

Every year since they were in the third grade my kids (more accurately, my daughters with some help from my sons) write a parody song making fun of me and how old/gray/geeky I am. It is referred to as my "birthday song".

They sang it to me at our family celebration and, as is traditional, I am returning the favor by posting the lyrics for all to see. It was the 10th anniversary of the tradition, so not only do I have the lyrics for you below, I also have an audio file of the proceedings here.

Because My Mommy Loves Me(sung to the tune of "When Somebody Loved Me" from the film Toy Story 2)

Because my mommy loves me
She taught me all I need to know
From mowing down the Zergling armies
to riding chocobo

And when she was mad
We would grind a field of skag
And when she was laggy, so was I
'Cause she loves me

Having all-out Halo Wars
Mutilating zombie hordes
Just killing things together
Like it was meant to be

And when I was out of ammo
She'd lay down suppressive fire
And I was glad that she loves me

As the years went by I called to say
Thanks for all the rainy days
I've never felt alone
Making it through every day
We'd still say, "Die you Nether pig-man!"

I've never once forgotten
The truths that I have learned this way
That every battle's worth the struggle
and love is worth the pain

This had some added weight due to me losing my own mother a couple hours before it was performed, but I know she would have been laughing her butt off at it, once some of the odder bits had been explained to her.

There was a second song with was all four of my kids together using my Rockband instruments (and a custom drumskin they had me make to keep me constructively blind to other preparations) to do a parody of a song from the film "That Thing You Do", complete with my younger son doing a creditable imitation of the character Shades, but the recording on that one isn't as good because I was laughing too hard.

So, with tears and laughter commingled, I'm older in the only way I'm interested in measuring it. Thank you, gang.

Maybe this issue is best debated amongst the people who need to get off my lawn. - JoeBedurndurn