Love on the Surface.
Microsoft/YouTube Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

When you want to know what's cool, you ask a teenager.

You have to ask her nicely or she will scowl you into oblivion or patronize you into a painful purgatory.

So I'd like to prepare you for some of this difficulty.

Teens have decided that Apple is, like, so over. If you want to be a veritable cooleratus, you want to be seen with a Samsung Galaxy phone in your hand or a Microsoft Surface laptoppy tablet stuck under your arm.

This definitive information comes to me courtesy of research performed by Buzz Marketing, as well as three 14-year-olds who tried to rob me of my orange Puma sneakers.

When they saw I had an iPhone, they couldn't even be bothered to take the sneakers. (I exaggerate slightly about this last element.)

As Forbes reports it, one of the sources of this deep technical disturbance is the self-obsession of those older people known as parents.

They have allegedly tended to toss older Apple products at their children, while buying themselves the latest iPhones.

Inevitably, this has caused a touch of pouty resentment among their offspring, who are forced to explain to their friends that possession of a smaller screen is not in any way their own fault.

Buzz Marketing's Tina Wells told Forbes: "Teens are telling us Apple is done. Apple has done a great job of embracing Gen X and older (Millennials), but I don't think they are connecting with Millennial kids."

About the author

Chris Matyszczyk is an award-winning creative director who advises major corporations on content creation and marketing. He brings an irreverent, sarcastic, and sometimes ironic voice to the tech world.
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