Depressed and disconnected

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HighHopes825 wrote:

After two years of being on the IVF journey, I’m finally 8w4d pregnant with my first healthy pregnancy at 40 years old. However, I am finding myself completely disconnected from this pregnancy, my spouse and life in general. With all of the rules and things that I can’t eat or do along with the constant nausea and exhaustion, I’m feeling alienated and isolated. I’m sure that it’s partly due to crazy hormones and will pass. I’m hoping I’m not alone in these feelings. I am so very grateful that we’ve come this far which makes me feel even worse for expressing these feelings out loud... Please share if you’ve experienced any bit of this...

I’m an IVF momma as well, I feel like with IVF there are even more hormones than a regular pregnancy as the hormones from stimming, trigger and PIO injections remain for quite some time in our bodies.

My advice is to ask your OB for an anti-nausea prescription to alleviate that part and start to see a psychologist. Some women have a form of depression during pregnancy that has to do with the hormonal changes. It sounds to me like that is your case.

I hope in the next few weeks you’ll start to feel better, begin to enjoy your pregnancy and start planning for your little one. You’ve worked very hard (IVF is rough!) for this baby, you deserve to enjoy your pregnancy.

Don’t feel bad about having these feelings! Being pregnant is a huge change, physically and mentally. Give yourself time to adjust. This is my second and we planned and tried for it, but once it was real, I started feeling really depressed about all that was going to change starting around 6 weeks. I am now 9w1d and starting to feel better physically and emotionally. The process in the 1st trimester sucks, but it gets better and more real. Just give yourself the freedom to feel whatever it is you are feeling without guilt. Virtual hug! Good luck to you!

I didn't have ivf but I'm an over 35 mom in a pretty demanding career. I'm normally very active at my job and physically since I used to work out as if it was my second job for mindfulness. Pregnancy has been a challenge for me because of the huge change in my lifestyle. I've never experience fatigue that has made a mile walk seem like a marathon. I've had constant cramping which makes exercising not very pleasant. So naturally, I'm somewhat depressed with trying to accept this temporary normal. I keep telling myself that my body is busy making a human and to not be so hard on myself. I think the hormones are at play here. I'm about 7 weeks. I've been practicing deep breathing and mindfulness. It helps alittle. Another thing is to find something you enjoy doing. It's hard for me because I'm usually very active outdoors so I may try to take up reading. Just know you're not alone in feeling this way.

I’m only 22 and have not gone through IVF, but I feel the same way. I am so thankful that I’m pregnant, but with working 10-11 hours a day and being exhausted and ill all the time, I’ve been really disconnected from anyone else. I work as a nanny and it is a very isolating job for the most part. I’m sorry you’re feeling the hard feelings you are experiencing. I’m sure we will all feel better with time. One thing I’m trying to do is do little things that make me happy, even if it’s small and only for a few minutes. I also try to write down my thoughts everyday if I remember to.