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I'm negative and have happily been in a serodiscordant relationship for five months. My boyfriend consistently takes his medication and has an undetectable viral load. We have established ground rules in the bedroom based on our comfort zone.

-I do not perform oral sex on him.-We consistently use condoms, and he does not ejaculate inside the condom if he is the top.

What would be my risk level given these aspects of our relationship? Should I stop worrying given we continue the path we've been taking? Are there any other risk factors I need to consider?

I think ground rules are a good idea. My partner and I have established our ground rules for the bedroom even before we have had a chance to get into the bedroom. We both understand there are risks to our decisions and we are both accepting of those consequences.

I think that there it is impossible to quantify the risks in a numerical fashion as there are few studies and you have not provided complete information as to your health habits, etc. Remember that it is not just the poz partners health habits that determine the possibility of transmission. Any sexual encounter poses a risk of transmission...how much of a risk is it that you willing to accept is the question.

In my opinion, you are being quite safe and I think the risk of transmission is low. But I am not a medical professional, so take that with a grain or two of salt...hehe.

Any sexual encounter poses a risk of transmission...how much of a risk is it that you willing to accept is the question.

This is patently untrue, unless of course you also mean that every moment the sun poses a risk of going supernova.

Use a condom for anal and vaginal sex. It cannot be much simpler than that.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

I think its a semantic argument he's making. Condoms prevent HIV transmission. But I guess there is the risk of a condom break. Small. And then from the condom break, transmission. Smaller, and then Pep doesn't work. Smaller again. Yeah, so the sun risks going Super Nova and Republicans risk being an intelligent party again. but. but.

Logged

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

I think its a semantic argument he's making. Condoms prevent HIV transmission. But I guess there is the risk of a condom break. Small. And then from the condom break, transmission. Smaller, and then Pep doesn't work. Smaller again. Yeah, so the sun risks going Super Nova and Republicans risk being an intelligent party again. but. but.

Which is true, but really only if you are willing to follow that logic bunny trail all the way to SuperNova. That's a whole bunch of worry.

A condom, used correctly, rarely breaks. And of course the risk to the partner WEARING the (broken) condom is extremely low. Ann and I have worked on AM I INFECTED for ten years and have never seen an insertive partner test positive after a condom break, and that's without PEP.

For the receptive partner, the risk is greater, but PEP started within 24 hours is basically foolproof (so long as there is adherence.) The statistical dropoff is fairly steep and steady after that and up until the 72 hour cutoff.

Of course, being on meds and having an undetectable viral load makes all the difference in the world. Many straight couples conceive naturally, without any protection and with no seroconversion if the positive partner is undetectable.

As for oral sex, well my signature line is pretty well where I stand.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

This is patently untrue, unless of course you also mean that every moment the sun poses a risk of going supernova.

Use a condom for anal and vaginal sex. It cannot be much simpler than that.

I was referring to vaginal or anal sexual encounters. And while the odds are extremely low that the sun will blow up in the next five minutes, it is still a possibility. In physics we say that nothing is impossible...just extremely unlikely...haha. Walking to campus everyday carries a probability of being hit by a car. Does that mean I should stop walking to campus and stay inside? No. I just know that there is a risk and try to be aware of that. Same with sex. I'm not going to avoid it because there is a risk. hehe ;-)

I'm negative and have happily been in a serodiscordant relationship for five months. My boyfriend consistently takes his medication and has an undetectable viral load. We have established ground rules in the bedroom based on our comfort zone.

-I do not perform oral sex on him.-We consistently use condoms, and he does not ejaculate inside the condom if he is the top.

What would be my risk level given these aspects of our relationship? Should I stop worrying given we continue the path we've been taking? Are there any other risk factors I need to consider?

Any input is greatly appreciated as I am seeking a peace of mind.

Thanks in advance.

Brett, if oral sex was that dangerous trust me, every gay guy out there would be HIV+ by now.