When To See A Doctor

Dealing With Damaged Goods, Backdoor Play & More

If you’re into penetration and being the one to penetrate, the anus/rectum combination offers something different than a mouth or vagina. It’s tighter, for one, which means, for many men, more pleasure and different feel. Many who enjoy penetrative anal sex need to remember that the rectum isn’t self-lubricating. That means dry as a desert. OK, there’s definitely some water and moisture in there, but for our purposes, not well lubed at all. The more lube the better.

Consider using lube shooters with applicators that insert inside the rectum for better lube application. It always gets to me when I see a porno and the anal actors simply rub a dash of slippery stuff on their anus and, amazingly, they’re having hardcore anal sex with a giant penis. The public doesn’t realize that the actors’ anus/rectum has been well prepped and likely has lube already inside. Be careful of using porn as sex ed. Take it from me, I know. My first anal sex experience was following the guidance of porn. No lube. My poor first girlfriend.

What if the guy wants to be on the other end of penetration? It’s happening more than you know, folks. Receptive anal sex by men is one of the fastest growing heterosexual behaviors. Yes, I said heterosexual. You and you alone define your sexual orientation, and whatever is done between a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman is — you guessed it — heterosexual. That includes a guy taking it in the backdoor. If you think I’m full of it, go visit any sex toy novelty shop and check out the strap-on section. I know you’re thinking that strap-ons are for lesbians only, but, in fact, the majority of purchases are made by straight couples.

Why would men want to receive anal penetration? Once men get over the barbaric thought process that it’s somehow gay, those who take the plunge realize it actually feels good. The anus is loaded with nerve endings and our prostate is a pleasure nugget stored inside the body, up against the rectum. Many male sex toys are specially made to play with the prostate anally, like the Aneros anal toy line or the Duke by FunFactory.

It’s important to communicate with your partners and get the input of the person being penetrated. Take it slow, be gentle — especially in the beginning — and include lots of lube. Find ways that work for you.

Maybe a pre-anal water rinse with an anal bulb makes you feel cleaner inside and less anxious. Maybe certain positions like being on top help offer you more control during insertion. Maybe you like to gently stretch out your anus and rectum with an anal plug with a flared base and find it helps you relax for penetration. Maybe silicon lube feels better than water-based lube to you. Maybe anal-lube shooters make you as horny as oyster shooters. So many anal tips, so little time.

For anyone into anal play this Anal August, remember the four C’s of anal sex. Condom, Communication, CLube and... Chocolate. Forget my four C’s — I’m brain-dead at the moment. Instead, consider purchasing two books: Jack Morin’s Anal Pleasure and Health and Tristan Taormino’s The Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex for Women. Tristan has video on the subject for the visual learners out there.