Sunday, October 30, 2011

Thundercats Thunder-recaps Episode 9: Berbils

Oh shit, you guys! Thundercats is back with episode 9: Berbils, which is largely about the reproductive mysteries of robot ewoks and smashing things with a hammer.

I toyed with skipping out on my obligation to continue to provide you with these recaps, but then the Power of Omens surged inside me and I decided that it would be a dick move. Because somebody out there has to enjoy Thundercats and my recaps - even though close friends constantly tell me, "Oh, I read all your stuff. Except for the Thundercats recaps. Because I don't care about Thundercats!"

Dudes... you don't even need to care about Thundercats to enjoy my well-considered recaps. Because I am going to break it all down for you and explain it to you in an extremely seductive way. Thunderschool is in session and you are all my students.

Join me after the jump, when class begins!

So crotchety old Panthro doesn't give a crap because he's out in the rain hammering the - yet again malfunctioning - Thundertank and swearing his bald head off about what a piece of shit it is. After persistent hitting with a hammer, one of the guns malfunctions and it is revealed that Lion-O, Cheetara and the kids were inside this lumbering death-trap the whole time, so it's safe to assume that this whole thing was a rapidly-cracking Panthro's plot to murder them in their sleep.

Terrified of Panthro, the gang take a sleep outside in the rainy mushroom kingdom, and Lion-O gets all Lion-Emo because he has no shelter, and probably because the useless Tigra is sleeping all curled up next to the voluptuous Cheetara. Tigra's done absolutely nothing so far this series, but if Cheetara is the first thing he does then all is forgiven.

But wait! A mysterious figure darts between the mushrooms and in the morning they discover that some Blair Witch shit has happened overnight and a large circus tent has been built over their heads, and baskets of Easter eggs have been left. Who was it? It was the berbils! The annoying robot ewok bears from the original series and they start fixing the tank and trying to communicate in their strange robot voices!

Meanwhile the kittens have eaten so many Easter eggs that they are all hyper and flipping out. And this makes Panthro flip out, even moreso when he realises that robo-ewoks can fix the tank far more efficiently than his cranky ass.

The berbils take them back to Berbil Village and introduce them to their berbil families which is totally confusing because how does a robot bear have a baby? Before we can get a solid look at their robo-reproductive systems, the shit hits the fan and a Maniac Truck shows up and tries to make the berbils their slaves.

Thundercats aren't having any of that noise, so they decide to fight the Steampunk Maniac Truck Driver by doing gymnastics. Tigra tries to take him down but is predictably taken out by an electrified Swatch. Berbils get their ass beat and they are taken away in Maniac Truck, leaving the disgraced Thundercats to lick their wounds and care for Robo Bill who was injured in the attack. It's finally time for Pantrho to flex his muscles and prove that he's not a total dipshit and fixing things, and he fixes Robo Bill (surprisingly without bashing him with his Fixin' Hammer).

Maniac Truck has parked and is selling the berbils in a slave auction so the Thundercats head over to shut it all down. Then Lion-O puts in the highest bid, but when the auctioner bot is like, "Dood, how you gonna' pay for that?" Lion-O completely slips out of his buyer's obligation and goes, "IN STEEL!" and they all start hitting on each other like lunatics. The robo-bears are rescued and they go back to robo-bear-village to prepare for the inevitable revenge attack by Maniac Truck.

Maniac Truck and some forest trolls attack, but they are pelted with Easter eggs and gymnastics, and the berbils shoot them with a mysterious mucous cannon. The newly repaired Thundertank is back in action and it battles Maniac Truck and messes it up. Lion-O quickly jumps on top of the maniac truck like he wants to claim credit for it. He fights the driver with his sword of Omens and pwns him in three seconds flat.

The robo-bears are stoked, and Panthro has a new respect for Robo Bill, who declares his "love" for Pantrho. The two of them hug and are sprung by the kittens, who no doubt photograph them and put it on the Internet. The episode ends with you scratching your head.

Overall this was a fairly fun one, and the robo-ewoks were pretty cool. It was a soft return for the series, but what're you gonna' do?