one hundred years of solitude

Celebrating Hippie Corpse Richard Nixon’s 100th Birthday

Happy birthday, President Nixon! He probably won’t see this, because he’s quite deceased and likely not a regular reader, but you will, and that’s almost as good. But while everyone struts around talking about Republican Dictator Dickie Nix and what a criminal he was, we’d like to remind you that he was more than that: He was, on occasion, a total liberal weenie.

(Also, though, definitely a fucking criminal.)

As we may or may not have pointed out six years ago, Nixon was the anti-business asshole who signed the Clean Air Act and said 1970 was when we would “really began to move on the problems of clean air and clean water and open spaces for the future generations of America,” which today would obviously be recognized as a WAR ON SMALL BUSINESS.

He likewise supported the Equal Rights Amendment, like a liberal stooge, and affirmative action, and being nice to Native Americans, and abortion, kinda. So we must ask the question: Was he a RINO or what?

No! There is still one area where he was totally a conservative, an unquestionable pillar of right wingness: health care. Just look at what he said to Congress in February 1974:

Without adequate health care, no one can make full use of his or her talents and opportunities. It is thus just as important that economic, racial and social barriers not stand in the way of good health care as it is to eliminate those barriers to a good education and a good job.

And he wanted to fund preventative care and manage rising costs? Why did Teddy Kennedy ruin his plans?! Why didn’t we elect him to a third term?! He could have—

Whew. Almost forgot that he bombed Cambodia and didn’t tell anybody, then resigned in absolute disgrace after using Justice Department cronies (Bork!) to cover up gross political thuggery. Happy birthday, Richie. Thanks for proposing one good thing that didn’t work, or something. We finally got around to passing it.