EYE Don’t Think So

On May 5, 2011 by Sarah

So anyone who knows me well knows that I am a bear to take pictures with. I am the most high-maintenance blinker in town. You have to count to 3, but not take the picture ON 3. Take it after 3. Oh but wait, every camera flashes at different speeds. Some even flash twice. (What ever happened to – press the button and the flash goes off?) Sometimes a sneak attack proves best, because the overcompensating make-sure-you-don’t-blink eye look is typically worse. Scary even. Let’s take a trip down Sarah’s Blinking Failure Lane, shall we?

Dinner out in Charleston – I definitely destroyed that seafood like a monster.

Masters Graduation Day – Boy was I tired!

– Enter One-Eyed Willie Sarah –

That right eye can’t seem to keep up with my left eye as the years go on. Should I see a Dr.?

I’m winking at you. No, YOU!

– And now…crazy eyes!!! –

Jen & Pete’s wedding 10/07 – Mom and EYE

Honeymooning with the apple of my (very large) eye(s) ♥

Ruining pictures since 1982.

AND [drumroll please] → Bridezilla at my bridal shower! Actually, I was just really excited about this gorgeous blanket that Gram made! =) (I must’ve been talking about the French toast!)

If I ever walk a catwalk (which is def NOT on my bucket list), I have no doubt I would look a lil somethin’ like this…

Gotta love Ramona Singer’s catwalk heard ’round the world from Real Housewives of New York City!

Anyway, I digress. There are 2 reasons why I brought up my eyes…

1. My sunglasses straight up cracked in half at the beach on Sunday. Not cool. I was never a chronic sunglass-user until Charleston came into my life. Now, I can’t leave the house without them on my face. Lots of sun = an awesome problem to have! Well, what do I expect when I buy the $10 sunglasses at Target? Time to invest (my husband loves when I say “invest” about things like sunglasses – ha!) in a nicer pair. Side note: No one can see the state of your eyes when you’re wearing sunglasses in a pic – bonus!

2. A recent consultation for Lasik eye surgery has scarred me for life. A simple eye scan may be simple for simple people with normal simple eyes, but I am one special gal. Seven unsuccessful scans later (the last 3 involving the Dr. literally holding my eyelids open with extreme force while trying to distract my un-distractible eyes by attempting to engage me in conversation about the movie The King’s Speech). THEN, Miss I-hate-my-job Nurse decided to numb my eyeballs via drops (that took a few attempts, no surprise) with no warning. Next came some sort of pointy prodder all up in my eyeball to check the pressure. Now listen, my eyes felt all sorts of heavy and weird, but how did I know they were actually numb?! Heck no were my sensitive eyelids gonna let anything of the sort happen. I never thought I’d say this, but I would have rather endured that darn air puffer machine. Dr. bagged the whole pressure check idea; I was an official pain in the eye. After all of that abuse, the estimate for these eagle eyes was almost 2 times our estimation/budget. Uhhhh, a buh-bye. We clearly did NOT see eye to eye!

p.s. The King’s Speech is a great movie!

p.s.s. It’s a miracle that I’m able to wear contacts everyday!

p.s.s.s. If you love your sunglasses ladies, where did you buy them? I have a small face and look like an idiot in most every pair!