Force her to sing the lyrics I wrote to Graduation Day from the Piano Town Primer. They’re perfectly serviceable words. In writing her own lyrics, though, she had to grapple with the rhythmic constraints of the music. She’d learned the piece correctly, so she had to stop and really think about what words would fit together with the rhythm.

Criticize her lyrics because they’re silly and fun and filled with whimsy.

Embrace her brilliant creativity and we could both have a zippy afternoon.

Obviously, I chose the latter.

When your students show their opinions, preferences and personalities, how do you respond?

The strangest thing happened. I can’t find September Song! (I’m sure that it isn’t because I got busy with a HUGE writing project, or that getting everyone settled for the fall was overwhelming ;)

To make up for it, I made a free downloadable Word Search puzzle filled with things you can find in my studio. Are these things in your studio as well? Perhaps your students will enjoy filling out this free Word Search. Then they can submit their suggestions for where I might find September Song. And when I find it, the best answer will receive a free copy.

I hope to hear some creative answers from your students. Send their answers to diane@dianehidy.com.

My mother with the three youngest kids in our family. I'm the baby in her arms.

What a dilemma. I faced just this situation a few years ago when a mother came to me with three children. I immediately wanted to teach the older daughter and the younger daughter, but didn't want to teach the boy in the middle. There were lots of reasons why I wanted to teach the oldest and the youngest—they were interesting children, completely ready for lessons and I immediately liked them. They'd had some "lessons" with another teacher, but I could tell right away that they would be successful piano students.

The boy was completely different. He was definitely hovering at the edge of the autism spectrum and had great difficulty controlling himself. That wasn't what actually mattered in making this decision. Yes, he had some physical challenges that would make piano playing difficult for him. But even more important was the fact that he was fiercely competitive with both of his sisters. Even in the interview, he compared himself to them constantly. Trying to teach the three of them would have set him up for nothing but frustration.

Years ago I might have thought the only options were to take all of them or none of them. I've gotten wiser in my dotage.

Here was my solution:

I took the mother out for coffee. Sometimes it's easier to have difficult conversations in person. You can make eye contact and use non-verbal cues to convey your sincerity and warmth. Email can be particularly treacherous in situations like this, especially if you're just getting to know someone.

We met in a Starbucks to discuss the situation. I explained why I thought that having all three kids playing the same instrument was, in this case, not advised. I clarified exactly why I thought that playing the piano, specifically, would be more challenging for him than it would be for his sisters.

She agreed with me that he was too competitive to tolerate watching his sisters shoot ahead as he struggled. He needed something that, by definition, would make him special and make comparisons more difficult. I felt that it would be better if her son played a completely different instrument and suggested the guitar. (The guitar is easier to play, especially at the beginning, and almost impossible to compare to the piano.) I was completely honest with her about my assessment of the situation. And though I was kind and understanding, having raised a difficult boy myself, I didn't offer to take on her son as my student. I took the girls and, as I'd predicted, they did quite well.

Here's the thing: if you can see heading into a situation that it won't be successful, follow your instincts.

Any healthy parent would always prefer your honest opinion as long as you are kind, gracious, and offer another solution that will work better. You'll be doing no one a favor if you teach a child that you think isn't a good fit, even if the siblings are studying with you. It's far better to follow your heart and speak the truth kindly.

I'm at the Music Teachers Association of California annual conference. I know that it's hard to make a great conference happen. It's hard to make even a decent conference happen.

Tomorrow afternoon a man will present this session:

Fast and Furious — Technique and Repertoire for BoysWhen you consider all the sports, activities and technology that fill the lives of boys these days, keeping them inspired and motivated at the piano can be a challenge. This session will consider three key factors for motivating males: cool repertoire, relational teaching and appealing technology.

When my friend first told me about this, we joked about proposing a session for next year about how hard it is to keep girls motivated since they're so busy with all that makeup and girl stuff. Like baking and sewing. Maybe we could call it Slow and Sullen.

Then I realized that this session was going to happen. An actual man was going to get up and talk about boys as if their musical needs and preferences were:

a. different than those of girlsb. deserving of special attentionc. going to be addressed, though those of girls were being ignored

Here's Charlie's first lesson on a new piece called Melody for the Left Hand. This video shows exactly how we prepared her to successfully play the piece.

What I like best about this kind of work is that it puts the child in control of their learning. They plan out what chords will be played most frequently, which are rare. They scan through the entire piece happily before they play a note. I especially like that this prevents the student from playing until they make a mistake. It's so much easier to learn when you have a road map in front of you. In this case, it's a colorful map that points out all the curves ahead.

Try it the next time you present a piece. Let me know how it works for you!