Apr. 15th, 2009

Apr. 15th, 2009

Deep sigh - this is public. I've been to the GP, and diagnosed with post natal depression (PND). I saw somebody I trust and who has seen me through two pregnancies. Having prepared an extremely thorough history certainly helped get me through the appointment; I was overcome and unable to speak at first. It seems that I'm doing all the right self-help things (exercise, eating better, building a support circle of friends including DH who help, sleep, rest, self-directed cognitive therapy workbooks that come NHS recommended). The PND has been waxing and waning ever since DS was born. So far, I've had three flare-ups, each worse than the last. I am now getting additional help to break the cycle. I'm on the lowest possible entry dose of fluoxetine now, and have been referred for a psych assessment. Next review is in four weeks, again with the GP. The lovely actionreplay assures me that our local Mental Health services are excellent, but this being the NHS, there's a longish wait involved until we get to the actual treatment. I cannot express how grateful I am to her for suggesting I go see a doctor.

I am very relieved and happy. I feel a proper safety net below me. And right now at this very moment, I cannot imagine that I ever thought it was ok to leave my children motherless.

(for non-UK folks: NHS - national health service AKA socialised medicine; GP - general practitioner aka primary care physician. Somewhat of a scarce resource in the US; around here, everybody has one and they are the main gatekeepers to more specialised care. There's a very high awareness of PND here in the UK.)