Intermittent Love

Providing evidence ♥♥♥YET AGAIN♥♥♥ for another Chateau Heartiste maxim, a study has come out which finds that women love men who parcel their displays of love unpredictably (h/t: reader George).

I Heart Unpredictable Love

TO love is to suffer; to be happy is to love. So must one suffer to be happy? This syllogism won’t win any prizes in logic, but it accurately describes a curious paradox of human behavior: the allure of unpredictable romantic partners. […]

This kind of amorous attachment is like gambling — except that the currency is affection and sex. The key is that the reward is unanticipated, which makes it particularly powerful and alluring to our brains.

To understand why, consider what happens in the brain when people are given rewards under two different conditions: predicted and unpredicted. The psychiatrist Gregory Berns did just that in a study in which subjects were given fruit juice and water, both naturally pleasurable rewards, while scanning their brains with an M.R.I. During part of each session, subjects received water and fruit juice at random intervals; during another part, the water and juice were administered every 10 seconds.

Professor Berns discovered that the water and juice elicited greater activation in the brain’s reward circuit when the reward was unanticipated than when it was delivered in a predictable fashion. The pattern held true whether the reward was water or fruit juice — even though most subjects claimed a clear preference.

When the reward circuit fires, it also tells the brain something like, “Pay attention and remember this experience because it’s important.” This circuit releases dopamine when stimulated, which, if it reaches a critical level, conveys a sense of pleasure.

Intermittent rewards are far more powerful a bonding agent than predictable rewards. This is why aloof and inscrutable men are so intoxicating to women — they are like the unanticipated glasses of water and juice. You want to keep a woman on her toes by showering her with your loving lovingness in a very haphazard fashion, what pickup artists like to call hot/cold/hot/cold. The more astute readers will notice that the hot/cold/hot/cold routine is frequently and instinctively deployed by women when they are in the early stages of dating a new man, and need to test him for alpha male congruence. You, as the hopeful womanizer, should know from reading this blog that adopting the psychological tricks of women for your own nefarious ends is quite a potent weapon in the battlefield known as the sexual market.

True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don’t really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight — his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate. She thrives when she has to imagine what you’re thinking about her, and withers when she knows exactly how you feel. A woman may want financial and family security, but she does not want passion security. In the same manner, when she has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when she has done you right, reward slowly. Reward her good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and she will never tire of working hard to please you.

The article about the study goes on to discuss why people are attracted to intermittent rewards.

The reason this happens is simple. The brain’s reward circuit has evolved over millions of years to enable us to recognize and extract various rewards from our environment that are critical to our survival, like food and a suitable sexual mate. Unlike predictable stimuli, unanticipated stimuli can tell us things about the world that we don’t yet know. And because they serve as a signal that a big reward might be close by, it is advantageous that novel stimuli command our attention.

Which brings us to inconstant love. It turns out that human love and attachment are, like the fruit juice in Professor Berns’s experiment, natural reinforcers that can activate your reward pathway. The anthropologist Helen Fisher studied a group of 17 people in the grip of intense romantic love and found that an image of their beloved strongly activated the reward circuit.

If you are involved with someone who is unpredictably loving, you might not like it very much — but your reward circuit is sure going to notice the capricious behavior and give you information that might conflict with what you believe consciously is in your best interest.

Indeed, you may not even be aware of your own reward circuit’s activity. One of the curious things that Professor Berns found was that most of his subjects couldn’t tell the difference between the predictable or unpredictable condition in which the reward was given.

Since unpredictable rewards cause more dopamine release than predictable ones and more dopamine means more pleasure, one implication of this study is that people experience more pleasure with unpredictable rewards than with predictable ones — but they may not be consciously aware of this fact.

By the way, the fact that people aren’t consciously aware of the pleasure-giving power of intermittent love goes a long way to explaining why women can’t adequately tap into their true desires and explain them without resorting to pretty lie generating hamsterisms. They simply might not be cognizant of the primal emotional machinations fueling their tingles.

Not just that, but there was essentially no relationship between the subjects’ stated preferences and the observed activity in their reward circuit. This suggests that our reward pathways may not only be activated without our recognition, but perhaps even in ways that are contrary to what we think we prefer.

Did science unintentionally uncover more evidence for the existence of the rationalization hamster? Why yes, yes I believe it did! Proof that you should watch what women do, not listen to what they say, about matters of love.

These data might explain, in part, the paradox of people who complain constantly about their unreliable lovers, but keep coming back to them, time and again.

Science discovers that chicks dig aloof and indifferent jerks. Feminists disengage from scissoring to console each other with an uninterrupted stream of feelgood bullshit.

Like this:

Related

198 Responses

Speaking to hot/cold/hot/cold – what are the best ways to go ‘cold’. Simply cut contact for a few days (or few weeks, depending on the average frequency of contact) before shooting her a call saying ‘hey, just saw your evil twin?’

Or is accepting plans to meet up or continuing interaction still worthwhile as far as pursuing the end goal, so long as your responses and interactions are suitably distracted and detached?

There’s a reward/punishment version of going cold on her (proper NEXT’ing techniques) to encourage/discourage behavior, but if she’s a generally cool chick and you just want to seem aloof now and then, remember this very simple rule:

“You don’t have to respond to every txt message.”

Before you respond, say that to yourself and ask yourself “Does this really need a response? Right now? If I was taking a nap right now and didn’t respond would the world end?” It helps whittle away a lot of gay beta txting habits guys have.

Feminism and female entitlement are bankrupting America, hispanic men are thanklessly keeping America competitive by working their asses off for shit pay while egomaniacal realists like Heartiste allows his hatred of liars to over ride any noble desire to destroy feminism- the true cause of America’s decline.

[you know it’s possible to keep two truths in one’s head at the same time.]

Heartiste, you’re too narrow-minded and ego-fueled to be teaching anyone about Masculinity and Manhood101 principles.

The market dropped 313 points today after Obama claimed the best is yet to come. I don’t blame investors for pulling their money out. Why risk your hard-earned cash on betting a stock will increase, when your reward is Shaniqua getting her nails done with your money.

I[d rather have Shaniqua waste the money on her nails than General Dynamics waste our taxes on hooker parties for congressman voting on the defense budget. It’s vastly cheaper. I’m not waiting for it to be spent on something _rational_ haha.

Unpredictability has always been a halmark of the militarily advantaged. The Mongol hordes used all sorts of unpredictability ruses in conquering the vast Eurasian continent in the 1200’s. Attack in winter. Forgo the use of infantry, use only cavalry. Feign retreat, then close in behind them. Much to be learned from perhaps the greatest leader ever to walk the earth & fight in battle.

As “rewards”, fruit juice and water are hardly comparable to caring and constancy in the people you share yourself with. The only conclusion you can draw from this study is that thirsty subjects release more dopamine when they’re given juice and water intermittently rather than predictably.

Dr. Berns’ citing Cordelia as “boring” because her honesty and loyalty compelled her not to blow smoke up King Lear’s arse in exchange for a third of his property seems at odds with your unstated premise, which presumably is avoiding gold diggers while maximizing your dating options. There are plenty of women out there who just want to get laid and have a respectably good time without all the messy entanglements. Why not be honest at the outset and limit your dating to them instead of mistreating someone who genuinely cares for you?

Robert: If you date more than one person, the appropriate frequency will suggest itself. If you feel like seeing her, ask if she’s available. If you don’t, don’t. The “hot and cold” thing will only take you so far before she dumps you for someone who doesn’t play head games with her.

Gregi: And there you have it. It’s harder on you than it is on her. Especially if she’s not all that into you to begin with.

“Why not be honest at the outset and limit your dating to them instead of mistreating someone who genuinely cares for you?”

Oh, you mean “just be yourself.”

Hahahahahahahahahaahahahahaaha!!!

This reminds me of a scene in the old movie “Tootsie,” when the female lead tells a male character who is dressed as a woman that she just wants a man to make his intentions clear. When the male character gets out of costume and does just that, she throws a drink in his face.

Once again, in three-part harmony: what women want and what they say that want are two very, very different things. Never listen to what women say. Watch what they do.

I concur strongly with everything you stated however you are commenting to unperceptive audience for the most part I must tell you. Also some to a lot of them will not only settle for so far that’s there whole goal so that point might not matter to a lot of them. I hope your comment gets through and adds some enlightenment to whoever reads it .

You’ve got to realize the pervasive culture here is one of paranoia– about blacks, women, liberals, …on and on.. This presents a dilemma for guys who want sex while preventing any loss of control not absolutely necessary. Parnoids loathe losign control because… well, then someone else has it, and that could be very very bad.

“Robert: If you date more than one person, the appropriate frequency will suggest itself.”

This is the only reasonable thing you said. This is called calibration and is the difference between a technique succeeding and failing. Nobody said that being horrendously unpredictable works, yet you seem to like to think that this extreme would be employed all the time. Nope.

I wasn’t sure about Ron Paul, but now I am starting to see he’s the only game in town for us Americans who want to keep America the land of the free.

The county’s demographics changed, I saw it already 4 years ago when they voted for Obama the first time. Now I am sure of it. People voted for him not because they like the job he did so far, but because of the ideology he stands for. Put a serial killer candidate and they’ll vote for him if he grows government, hands out money and social benefits, supports gay marriage and single mothers, and gives amnesty to illegals.

4 years ago people spoke of secession and I got mad with them. Now I think it’s the only way out. Secession and make TX (Austin) the capital of the new country.

It’s obvious civil war is going to happen one day in this country. The question is when.

I Knew someone knowledgeable is going to tell me how liberal a city Austin is. I agree.

I only meant that TX should be the capital and since Austin has all the government buildings already, it should be the capital. It might not be so bad when we throw out all the liberals.

We got to unload all the liberal states. Let them bring in undesirables form 3rd world countries and run their own welfare programs. All who believe in social justice and all that crap can stay on the liberal side. Of course within months the liberal state will not be able to sustain itself because no one working would be left on its side. It will probably start a war with the thriving conservative side because of its resources and prosperity.

Some conservatives are so blind they still think we can win elections in the future. It’s going to be worse in 4 years. Every day the country is tilting more and more to the left. There are more immigrants, more blacks, more Latinos, more Muslims, more gays, more unwed women with children, more people on welfare, more people working for the government, more unions, and all of these groups vote Democrat. People who like freedom and want small government are dwindling in numbers. The Left has succeeded in brainwashing everyone that BIG government is a good thing.

I don’t see a way out. If you want to save white America we need a military coup (which will never happen) and throw all the undesirables out, or secede. There might be a civil war as people slowly reach their boiling point and can’t take any additional insults like yesterday’s election.

That’s why we keep seeing madman committing mass murder. People don’t know how to cope with being controlled and silenced through political correct speech. It seems you can’t voice your opinion or your disagreement with the Left without being silenced and labeled a racists, misogynist, homophobe, or xenophobe, or worse losing your job. Humans are not meant to be enslaved, controlled, silenced, and prevented from voicing opinions, agreements or disagreements. After a while the human spirit starts to rebel. The Left is creating a moral hazard at every turn. It’s going to come back and bite it.

Obama’s vote dropped by 10 million this time around, to about what McCain’s was in 2008 (~60 million). Problem for the GOP is, Romney got 3 million fewer.

Obama got only 39% of the white vote, as opposed to 43% in 2008. In fact, Obama even lost among whites in WI, IL, MI, NJ, CA, and MD. Hispanics and Asians voted more for Obama than last time. The only states where Obama carried whites are pretty much the same ones that have gay marriage: New England, Iowa, Washington, and Oregon.

Whites, especially white men, are coming to the realization that Hispanics and Asians, i.e. immigrants, are coming to take away everything we have, while most blacks, especially black single moms, are just dumbasses who are being used by the liberals.

But OTOH, the GOP could have stomped all over Obama if their Establishment hadn’t insisted on nominating a rich neocon Zionist plutocrat. Even so, Romney wouldn’t have won if set-in-their-ways old people who think the country is still as it was in the 1950s hadn’t overwhelmingly supported him against Ron Paul, who was supported mainly by people under 40. (Santorum’s support was more evenly spread, but his neocon foreign policy was even more appalling than Romney’s.)

“Whites, especially white men, are coming to the realization that Hispanics and Asians, i.e. immigrants, are coming to take away everything we have…
But OTOH, the GOP could have stomped all over Obama if their Establishment hadn’t insisted on nominating a rich neocon Zionist plutocrat.”

Whites are too stupid and fixated on spics, chinks, and niggers to realize who’s really fucking them in the ass, cuz whites shure luuurve them some Jews.

Genius, in case you haven’t noticed, it’s even worse outside the US, haven’t you noticed? There is no place to run to but stay here and FIGHT. Every other country on earth is even more leftists and more totalitarian than this country. Get real!

Oh, and stop being a scaredy cat on the run, like a wuss. I thought you are professing Alpha qualities. Alphas don’t run away. They stay and fight for what is rightfully theirs. They don’t accede their inheritance to strangers.

So you have to make women addicted to you through dopamine in order to actually keep their commitment. If all of this is true (bearing in mind that the scientists are studying one of the most self-centered and narcissistic generations in human history, a generation that unsurprisingly would be incapable of bonding with a fellow human being without a glitch in their brain being exploited) then what’s the point? Just pleasure yourself with women’s vaginas until you wilt away into oblivion? (Admittedly not the worst way to go out)

You guys realize that when you’re applying a lot of this internally, you’re coping with the narcissistic sociopathy of females by becoming narcissistic and/or sociopathic, right? Or at least embracing those traits that you already have.

If that’s true then the problem is more than just women/feminists…the problem is you guys as well.

I’m not saying game is bad, not saying is wrong about everything he’s ever said. I’m saying that the sociopathy is bad, and embracing it is worse. Or is that just a fact of life that everyone here accepts about trying to become a PUA?

Fuck hot cold is bullshit. You will lose quality. If you want some be with them if you don’t don’t. As to the people thinking it’s more exciting it’s unstable. If you want an actual relationship you need some healthy level of stability even if it’s “boring”. You don’t like boring date/fuck drug addicts and suicidal bipolar just released from the psych ward.

Woman seem hot cold at the start because it takes us time to trust you because of how many of you are complete utter pieces of shit. We need time to figure out what the fuck you want and who the fuck you even are. You have a chance until you fuck it up basically.

I don’t like encouraging non constructive responses by responding normally.
Where do the woman come here from is an interesting question that should properly be leveled at the person who runs this site not me. How I got here was really a round about indirect route. It’s not like there is a team woman meeting where we discuss such things :). Men have nothing to do with pregnancy outside of the obvious however woman do have something to do with the whole of interaction between men and women or a man and a woman. I thought you guys enjoined the practice interacting anyway. Don’t dismiss people you don’t know. I doubt your snap judgements are as good as you think they are.

See Darkktrader’s response below me? Where he provides anecdotal evidence of how legit hot & cold is? And how there will be dozens more guys posting in this thread about their observations of how legit hot & cold is? And how tens of thousands of PUAs have also pooled their anecdotal evidence and observations on how legit hot & cold is while they’re out picking up and having sex with and getting into relationships with women?

The fact that you think your opinion as a woman should even remotely hold ANY kind of weight or value, especially when it contradicts the thousands of guys who’ve reported similar experiences, is silly.

Like I said before, your opinion is irrelevant, wrong, or based in ignorance. Know your limits. You don’t have to be included in everything, you don’t have to be the center of every universe, you don’t have to make everything about you and your extremely limited experiences.

Every time you post something like “well that’s not what I think because hamster hamster hamster!” the guys here have to waste 10 posts arguing with you trying to convince you of what’s blatantly obvious to anyone with a penis and a set of eyes who steps outside their apartment. Please waste other people’s time, thx.

P.S. Your boob pics didn’t show up, maybe you forgot to include the URL?

Last one: “Men have nothing to do with pregnancy outside of the obvious…”

Except supporting women while they are pregnant and then with children. And building and supporting the societal and technological infrastructure (think families, rule of law–>marriage, the pill, social safety nets, etc) that allows women to have kids, even while ostensibly single.

But if you reduce a man’s role in pregnancy to that of sperm donor, enjoy your future relationships.

I meant physically so giving advice is probably hard unless he’s an obgyn. Not all men are that supportive etc. Let’s not act like men would do well in and of themselves without civilization. lol Let’s pretend woman no nothing and she’d just be pregnant in the kitchen makin’ samiches and agree for now.

I don’t really understand what you meant by your pregnancy remarks or how it’s relevant to the discussion.

But regardless, don’t let YaReally rattle you. He is right only with qualifiers. All these crazy games don’t work on the same woman for the long term, and definitely don’t work on a woman looking for a serious relationship. Moderation is the trick. To some of these men there is no in between – you either must be a major asshole jerk to a girl, or you’re a beta. Nothing in between. Well, that’s also no common sense. They are all driven by their biological sexual drive which is so over the top the way they describe their shenanigans, and yet they smash women for having their hormonal problems. No one is perfect or a 100% right all the time – women or men. All you have to do is find one good partner with the same values and outlook on sex, marriage, religion, and politics, and not listen to feminists, liberals, or leftists, and you should be OK. Don’t take everything they say here as the gospel truth. A lot of it is so exaggerated, it’s mostly good for entertainment value but nothing more.

“All these crazy games don’t work on the same woman for the long term, and definitely don’t work on a woman looking for a serious relationship.”

NAWALT + “game only works on bar sluts”

“To some of these men there is no in between”

Exaggerating the opposition’s position to discredit them based on a strawman

“They are all driven by their biological sexual drive which is so over the top the way they describe their shenanigans, and yet they smash women for having their hormonal problems.”

This is the “Men do dumb things too so let’s cancel out ALL DISCUSSION ENTIRELY because everyone cancels eachother out!! Oh some woman raped a guy? Let’s not talk about that because men have raped women too!!!11″ argument. Hmmm, might need a shorter term for that one.

“No one is perfect or a 100% right all the time – women or men.”

Same thing, “the other side does bad things too so NO DISCUSSION ALLOWED!!111″

“All you have to do is find one good partner”

Disney bullshit.

“A lot of it is so exaggerated, it’s mostly good for entertainment value but nothing more.”

I am sure your insightful comment has upset YaReally. I suppose the only thing he can do now to console himself is to find some random hot girl and defile her with his penis until she screams out his name in a long drawn out shuddering orgasm.

fucking WIN, thanks. I knew there had to be some kind of term for that because it’s like the default go-to feminist way of trying to null any discussion about women not being made of rainbows and unicorns.

yareally’s point about pregnancy is that men have about as much experience with being pregnant as women have in dating and hooking up with women. Until you’ve successfully seduced women on a consistent basis, your opinion is just as relevant as a man’s on a pregnancy forum.

This. Quite frankly I’m amazed that had to be spelled out for her. The “I’m the most important person in the world and everyone should listen to my opinion on everything!” entitlement runs deep on this one lol

Women come here because they see the truth and they feel threatned by the scary reality and need to comment.

Also I think they do for the same reason they are attracted to assholes in real life. They like this shit.

I don’t ever visit jezebel and troll because it’s all bullshit anyway. They offer nothing of value.

Women that attracted to ‘assholes’ so much they read this site frequently??? No fucking way. It’s like they innately attracted to the thing they say they aren’t attracted to. That is so weird. Just wow.

Women come here because they want to see what men REALLY think. On this site, men are not afraid to voice their most deep feelings about women and politics (what could be more important, right?), unrestricted, unafraid, and uncontrolled. There is no politically correct modicum here, as there is in most other moderated sites on the Internet where you can’t even write bad language or express some of the anti-left ideas that we express here, and which are considered an anathema in real life, and may cause you to lose your job or get shunned by your friends. Not that I like using lots of bad language, but I don’t mind it if men use it. I actually think it’s cool if it makes someone express exactly how he feels about things, which is why I hate censorship of any type. Here you get to see men the way they really are without any mask, disguise, or façade placed on them by feminists and liberals. Thus you get true honesty, not watered-down crap. When men unload all that’s inside their hearts in an honest and true manner, it has a catharsis element to it – a feeling of release. Many women love to see that.

The women that come here have some conservative values because liberal women couldn’t take the stuff that is discussed here or the way most of you men talk. It’s too much for them to accept after they were brainwashed by their feminist leftist-ass professors. Also, true conservatives women are somewhat drawn to men that express some Alpha qualities.

Personally for me, besides reading what men really think about women, I love the social commentary. There aren’t many places on the Internet or in real life where people feel free to say the things we say here for fear of being called racists, homophobes, xenophobes, chauvinists, misogynists etc…. I find the freedom uplifting and liberating.

“There aren’t many places on the Internet or in real life where people feel free to say the things we say here for fear of being called racists, homophobes, xenophobes, chauvinists, misogynists etc…. I find the freedom uplifting and liberating.”

You may find this “freedom” to hate liberating…

…but it has historically come at the expense of the very real freedoms of black people, Latin people, Asian people, gay people, immigrants, etc.

We’re all in this together. If you disagree, then go move to Intolerant-i-stan with the other haters. I hope you look good in a niqab.

You’re missing the point. It’s not about hating anyone; it’s about having freedom to express how one feels. People were not meant to be enslaved, censored, and policed through politically correct speech. Polite speech doesn’t need any protecting. It’s controversial speech that needs to be protected from liberal hacks who can’t put up with dissenting opinion. The left engages in censorship every time it doesn’t like the message. We, on the other hand, have no problems hearing some leftist idiot spreading his misinformation and bullshit. All we do is try to set him straight, not make him shut up and lose his job.

“…but it has historically come at the expense of the very real freedoms of black people, Latin people, Asian people, gay people, immigrants, etc.”

So now you tell me who is taking whose freedoms away? It’s your side because it’s intolerant. These same people you view as needing protection, people we brought here or gave permission to stay, have turned against us. They are now actively trying to take away our rights and freedoms and inherit this land. Could you imagine what would have happened had Romney won the election? Riots because Blacks can’t play by the rules and because leftists can’t accept that their version of reality has not been accepted.

“If you disagree, then go move to Intolerant-i-stan with the other haters.”

Again, you’re delusional. This country is already intolerant. Wait, even someone with your mindset is going to feel it soon, maybe in a few years when it will dawn on you that it’s not the America you know and love anymore, and you are a stranger in your own land. You might not be feeling it yet, but don’t worry one day soon you will. You’re still living in lala land.

You’re clueless because the only thing you understand is sex with worthless hos. Sorry, but that’s not proof you have real understanding how normal non-ho chicks behave. Hos have very low standards. They’ll sleep with every creep who looks their way. Excuse us, but some women do have something more to offer than dirty-ass sex in some nightclub with a stranger. The hos you hook up with drop their panties the moment they see you approaching, However, I bet you couldn’t get any woman with standards, or you wouldn’t bother pursuing too much one that gives you some reverse game.

Hot and cold works in the beginning of a relationship when the guy is trying to appear not so desperate or too interested. It works in reverse too where the girl doesn’t want to look too desperate or interested. It also works on limited basis well into the relationship to liven things up, make things more interesting, and break a routine. But it doesn’t work as a way of life. There is a limit on how long a decent woman who is genuinely looking for a good love connection can put up with a ton of head games from her man. You’re either serious or a playa, and if you’re a playa then move along. No one appreciates or needs you but the hos. Which is why, men like you only get hos. Not that this bothers you in any way. I know to you sex is sex, so who cares if it’s with a ho who dropped her panties to 10 men before you within the last month. However, to a man looking for something a little bit more deep than the common ho in the club, bedding such a ho is no big prize or one that engenders a feeling of accomplishment.

“You’re clueless because the only thing you understand is sex with worthless hos.”

Exaggerating the opposition’s position to discredit them via a strawman.

“Sorry, but that’s not proof you have real understanding how normal non-ho chicks behave.”

NAWALT.

“Hos have very low standards. They’ll sleep with every creep who looks their way. Excuse us, but some women do have something more to offer”

Madonna/whore complex and shame tactic.

“The hos you hook up with drop their panties the moment they see you approaching”

COMPLETELY ACCURATE AND TRUE STATEMENT, THANKYOU. lol

“However, I bet you couldn’t get any woman with standards”

The “game only works on low self-esteem bar sluts” argument again.

“or you wouldn’t bother pursuing too much one that gives you some reverse game.”

The “you couldn’t handle a REAL woman” feminist line.

“You’re either serious or a playa, and if you’re a playa then move along.”

This is where you pretend women have a collective consciousness and threaten that as a group they’ll cut him off from sex if he dares to learn/use game on them. I really need to come up with a good short term for this tactic.

“men like you only get hos.”

Again, the “game only works on LSE bar sluts” bit.

“I know to you sex is sex, so who cares if it’s with a ho who dropped her panties to 10 men before you within the last month. ”

Exaggerating the opponent’s position to discredit them via strawman.

“However, to a man looking for something a little bit more deep than the common ho in the club”

Madonna/whore, NAWALT, shame-tactic.

“bedding such a ho is no big prize or one that engenders a feeling of accomplishment.”

The “you can’t handle a REAL woman” bit.

Please, do go on. You’re making AMAZING progress and definitely convincing MANY men here that they should listen to your wisdom.

Man when are you going to admit to yourself that this constant chasing after and hammering of random hot women is all because of your insecurities? Why can’t you be a Real Man and accept the responsibility of marrying some 32 year old Heroic Single Mother and being a father to her random spawn, uh children.

Or some crap like that. Whatever, you get the point – “bad boy! bad bad boy! you bad bad bad bad boy!!!”

I wouldn’t recommend this for any young guy who never had kids. Why should any man without kids raise someone else’s children? But let’s be realistic. If you are an older man, divorced with kids, a 32 year old single mom who still looks good is suitable for you.

That is how I see it. I would not recommend any man, without kids, get involved with a woman with children. However, if he already has kids, it isn’t as big a sacrifice. She’ll have to go out of her way for his kids, and vice versa.

People with children understand what it means to raise kids. They make a good match. And helping raise each other’s families can form a strong bond of love tolerance, and consideration for both. I think it’s a win win. Of course, there is always that out of the ordinary situation, but usually that’s how it goes down.

Honey, I am the least feminist woman around. But if using common sense makes me sound feminist so be it. I guess you don’t know how to label my brand of cold hard truth so you call it feminism. If it makes you feel better, no problems.

It brings a tear to my eye that enough men here have gotten CH’s message and see women’s advice for the silly useless shit that it is and know to instantly discard it. On other boards (try reading Aunt Sue’s comment column for a laugh) a girl comes in and all the White Knight guys choking on the red-pill’s message desperately clinging to their blue-pill conditioning get into big 10 page discussions about her opinion that accomplish absolutely nothing except confusing guys and leading them down paths that won’t get them results.

PUA forums were originally a men only club. That’s why we made so much progress so fast. Never ever ever listen to a woman’s advice on pickup. :)

And like every other men only club…the women started crying that they weren’t involved. It’s better when a man tries to make an argument here…because it would take some logic and experience. A woman’s argument is nothing more than insults and half-truths at best.

“It brings a tear to my eye that enough men here have gotten CH’s message and see women’s advice for the silly useless shit that it is and know to instantly discard it”

You’re missing the point. We are not giving our advice to anyone, especially not you, as you’re one of those hopeless clueless types. We’re just making comments like others here. I definitely don’t expect you to change your perspective or turn a new leaf. You seem happy and this lifestyle works for you, so why mess with something that works? However, don’t get upset if some of us (even some men here) think it’s overly decadent and totally over the top, if not a total waste of time, to live your whole life going form fucking one ho after another. Aren’t there more constructive things you can do with your time? I mean it feels so animalistic. What do animals do all day? Look for food and fuck when the female is in heat. That’s their whole life. They don’t accomplish anything else, and they are not meant to. But I think humans are different, specifically men. If the men of our species check out and stop producing and inventing, humanity would fall apart. It’s not the domain of women to produce, invent, and build. Women have other roles. Sorry, if I view your lifestyle as pretty much worthless. It’s my opinion and I am sticking to it.

I think it’s what Greg was trying to tell you in another thread; it’s why he decided to get married and settle down at some point. Why put him down? If it works for him and he is happy, does it diminish you in any way? I doubt it. Sorry, whether you like it or not, many people still value old-fashion marriages and strong men that produce and make the world go round. And it has nothing to do with Disney fantasy, which to you is just a tool to justify your wantonness and worthlessness.

“whether you like it or not, many people still value old-fashion marriages and strong men that produce and make the world go round.”

hmmm…in the longrun, who is more likely to contribute and produce more for society:

1) The guy who has ample amounts of free time, money, no ties, his own goals and direction in life, no legal commitments or threats looming over head, no marriage drama to worry about, no bastard kids from other men to look after and pay for and take to little league games…

or 2) The guy who hitches up with some single mom (since that’s most women these days) and gets married and legally binds himself to waste all his time, money, and energy on them (assuming they don’t leave him so he’s forced to pay a bunch of money each month for her to get her hair done so he doesn’t go to jail). Do you think that guy is out producing and making the world a better place? Do you think he’s starting his own business to employ thousands? No, he’s barely getting out of the house to play poker with his equally miserable buddies after begging his wife for a few hours of free time to himself.

But please, do continue to try to shame us into seeing how awesome voluntarily crippling your life and its potential are. Incidentally I have this bridge to sell, are you interested?

“The guy who hitches up with some single mom (since that’s most women these days) and gets married and legally binds himself to waste all his time, money, and energy on them (assuming they don’t leave him so he’s forced to pay a bunch of money each month for her to get her hair done so he doesn’t go to jail). Do you think that guy is out producing and making the world a better place? Do you think he’s starting his own business to employ thousands? No, he’s barely getting out of the house to play poker with his equally miserable buddies after begging his wife for a few hours of free time to himself.”

Please YaReally, don’t use bogus arguments.

I don’t advocate single younger guys without children marry women with kids from another man. Absolutely not. I advocate marrying up. You make it sound like if you don’t marry some used and abused female with another man’s kids and with lots of baggage, there is no one left to marry. Who is suggesting you go after divorced women or sluts with kids out of wedlock?

A man that has a woman he loves by his side and unfettered access to sex, which means he doesn’t have to constantly troll for it, can focus much better on building a career or a business.

Sorry, I don’t see how a single guy trolling for hos every night has time to focus on building something worthwhile, or inventing and producing anything. That’s why most scientists, captains of industry, or entrepreneurs are married. Do you think they have time for prowling?

Hey, but to each his own. This is my opinion and I am sticking to it. What’s important is that you are happy with your choices. Just don’t get upset by some of us folks who don’t think such lifestyle is the best for men who truly can do great things.

“Who is suggesting you go after divorced women or sluts with kids out of wedlock?”

Pretty much every woman over 25 in society today?

“A man that has a woman he loves by his side”

Until her hypergamy triggers and she fucks some other guy. Please continue.

“and unfettered access to sex”

Do you know what “incel” is? Google it. Do you want to do a poll of married men and whether they’re getting “unfettered access to sex”? lol

“which means he doesn’t have to constantly troll for it”

I imagine being up late frustrated and horny all night desperate for sex from the fattening behemoth you’re legally tied to WOULD give a man plenty of free time to get things done, maybe you’re right after all.

“can focus much better on building a career or a business.”

Oh definitely. Women and kids definitely wouldn’t have an issue with a guy risking financial stability to chase his dreams and start a business.

You live in a fantasy world. Do you know why you live in a fantasy world? Because you have a pussy, not a dick, and society has sold you the fantasy world that none of us with dicks lives in.

“Do you think they have time for prowling?”

Prowling takes very little time when you’re good at it. ;)

“Just don’t get upset by some of us folks who don’t think such lifestyle is the best for men who truly can do great things.”

And what has your boyfriend/fiance/husband done? With such a supportive amazing woman by his side and all. Did you guys sit on a couch and watch DVDs and order pizza together last weekend? Or was he out revolutionizing mankind? I know which one I’d place my money on lol

I think NiteLily is trying to sell the fiction that after you get married and are in love, you don’t need to “prowl” anymore. Of course you’ll still have to run game on her, or keep her happy some other way, which usually involves money or status. So really all you get is that you focus all your game on one woman, with the quality of marital sex going down and her putting you at risk to lose a lot of if you screw up.

“Anon
“Female freedom gives men a whiff of free pussy. Men who get a whiff of free pussy tend to be less productive.
See the black community vs. 1950s white community: easily obtainable pussy = crumbling cities that look like Somalia; no pussy without marriage = NASA and rockets.”

I rest my case YaReally. That’s exactly what I said to you here a few days ago and which you refuse to admit. I don’t see how a single guy trolling for hos every night has time to focus on building something worthwhile, or inventing and producing anything. That’s why most scientists, captains of industry, or entrepreneurs are married. Do you think they have time for prowling? A man that has a woman he loves by his side and unfettered access to sex, which means he doesn’t have to constantly troll for it, can focus much better on building a career or a business.

But again, to each his own. Just don’t use bogus explanations to justify your false argument.

Hot cold is NOT bullshit its the truth. Having been in numerous LTR’s I can say with certainty that constant affection and love turns a woman off SLOWLY at first and then turns into a cascade of shit. Women love to FEEL all emotions, they want to feel loved, happy, warm, nervous, afraid, angry, relief, lust, and all these FEELINGS all over again.

Tolerating. Some are more tolerating than others for various reasons I’m not going to get into in this post. I’m not saying it doesn’t work but that doesn’t make it the best strategy or ethically right for the few who care about such things.

“Woman [sic] seem hot cold at the start because it takes us time to trust you because of how many of you are complete utter pieces of shit. We need time to figure out what the fuck you want and who the fuck you even are. You have a chance until you fuck it up basically.”

Thank you for the resounding vote of confidence in men in general. I trust that the irony of posting that on this site isn’t lost…

Next: Agreed, women are people too, and need some time to assess what men are really about. This is a legitimate testing process, however much men generally don’t like it. See also: “shit tests.” You’re on the path to truth there.

Where I disagree with you is your last statement–“you have a chance until you fuck it up basically.” This is tautologically true, but what ‘fucking it up’ means is highly debatable. Buying a girl flowers in one context gets a guy laid–in another, it gets him divorced. Can you tell the difference?

Most of the posts on this site are how to avoid ‘fucking it up’ in real-life interactions, couched in soaring rhetoric. Women typically can’t articulate what ‘fucking it up’ means except in the context of whether they like a guy or not–which is of course no help to guys, who have to figure this stuff out if they’re not naturals.

Hence the debate on hot-cold, which is basically a viable, concrete technique for guys to employ in order to step through the minefield of the female attraction mechanism. As with all techniques, it should be employed deliberately, not indiscriminately, and as a part of broader state control.

Because:
– if you’re 15 – 25: you love to declare you want a serious and stable relationship, but deep down – so down your rational mind can’t understand it – you want strong emotions. The “you” that your rational mind can’t understand or control, desires the kind of man we only can describe as “jerk”, “bad boy alpha” or “dark triad personality”.

*Or as a PUA/red piller, someone that overcomes the beta Matrix all men is submerged today (with the few exceptions).*

– if you’re 26 – 30: the maturity mindset (or, like we all identify now: the call for a stable life, kids, a house with white fence AND a beta nice guy to provide for it all) is beginning to prevail over decades of feminazi brainwashing, and so you’re looking for the “mature beautiful rich nice understandable-of-your-crazy-and-wild-years” that the Feminism promise to you that will be there, just waiting for your decision to be married… and he’s not there.

– over 31: it’s time for desperate measures! I want a baby! I want a Five Star marriage! I want a man to show off to my sisterhood, I want to make the cake and get it too! And how can I accept all these guys counselling and helping each other to understand the real female mindset???? That’s not fair!!!!!

So, you came here to try to tell us of your dissonant voice, and tell us all what the Real Truth ™ is. Nice try, but…

So bad we men learn (NOW, and finally) from experience and observation, and not more from what you say. How sad… NOT!

Sorry for my grammar, I ‘m not from the anglosphere… anyway, you understood the ideas, right? And, since you couldn’t come with a rational, logical answer, you recurred to sarcasm, righto? So sorry for you… shameful language, sarcasm and offense didn’t work with us anymore.

My personal thing isn’t as relevant to this for a few reasons and I never said this is the only truth. I gave an opinion like every other poster and you can take it for what it is, or ignore it. Your experience and observation is no more or less relevant then mine. I don’t have to qualify my experience anymore then all the male keyboard jockeys around here who boast and don’t get called on it. Ageism is stupid. I know 40 year olds who are still in batshit party mode male and female. It’s mostly a matter of intelligent and self discipline/impulse control with a slight issue of changing what they want out of life or just straight up not knowing because they were passive and just went along to get along.

By the way men tend to want children more then woman. Children are a burden to woman more often then men and a psychical threat to our life on occasion. Just as with sex in general when you take less risks and faceless consequences you tend towards thinking why not? as a guy and woman need a reason why to.

“I gave an opinion like every other poster and you can take it for what it is, or ignore it.”

We’re trying to, but you keep posting.

“Your experience and observation is no more or less relevant then mine.”

No, it completely is. Unless you’ve suddenly grown a penis and spent 10+ years dating and fucking women. Have you? No? It’s weird, I haven’t launched a space shuttle so I probably won’t go on a NASA board and tell scientists how space flight works.

“I don’t have to qualify my experience anymore then all the male keyboard jockeys around here who boast and don’t get called on it.”

Yes, you do. Because not only do you have less experience with attraction and women than a virgin keyboard jockey, you have ANTI-experience because you’re a woman. You’re in the negatives as far as what your experience is worth in these discussions because you don’t have a penis and haven’t lived through what a man lives through when it comes to the Sexual Marketplace.

Again, I haven’t launched a space shuttle and I don’t tell NASA scientists “I don’t have to qualify my experience!!! My opinion is just as valid as yours” when I spout nonsense at them that they all disagree with based on their launching of actual space flights. It’s okay, you can admit that you aren’t qualified to comment on something. I know this is the age of “GRRL POWER!!!” and you can do anything you want because you’re a special princess snowflake, but it doesn’t make you less of a person to admit “hey you know what? Maybe I’m not really qualified to discuss this subject…”

Arguably, this intermittent love theory holds true for men as well. This doesn’t say anything about men not being included in the water and juice test…theoretically, as long as a woman is hot, she could pull the hot-and-cold bullshit to easily attract a guy.

Just like the jigaboos, first everyone just called them plan ol niggers, then it change to negro and they were fine with that because it was better than being called a nigger.Then that was not good enough either, so they wanted to be called colored, so that was fine for about 40 years then they didn’t like that name any more so they wanted to be called black. That was fine for about 30 years then all of a sudden they were offended that that word also, so they insisted that you now call them african american. I can promise you the day will come when the term african american will no longer be good enough either. These fucking niggers change names more than some people change their underwear. HOW ABOUT WE JUST STICK TO NIGGER FOR OLD TIMES SAKE !

I was banned from the Jizzabel site in under 20 minutes. They were having an Obama love fest and gloating about the decline of the white male, you know, the one who subsidizes their welfare checks and EBT cards. All I said was that Obama is a lazy bum who will spend his entire second term golfing or on vacation. So much for liberals and free speech.

Fartiste should call this blog the Harty Boys Shack. It would be more accurate. A bunch of lower class losers trying to use some pop psych BS they picked up from a tabloid to get some 5 to give them her number. Even the term “number close” sounds nerdy and retarded to normal men.

If you eat filet mignon everyday…you’ll start to hate the stuff. If you listen to your favorite song over and over…you’ll dread hearing it. Tell a lady of your undying love for her and constantly being with her…

I study psych, this is nothing new to me, and I can also explain why we crave something we don’t really like (or why girls crave for jerks even though they consciously don’t like them).
Let me know if this is of interest for you, I’m not gonna write about it if nobody cares.

Can not believe how much patience you guys have with morons like. If I ever heard wingwoman spouting that bs I’d smile, take her by the chin put her over the knee and paddle her ass so red that she’d permanently remembered the chap who was gracious enough to correct her deceptive idiotic mouth.

Only a fucking idiot would say “my opinion is equal as yours.”. There’s something called M.E.R.I.T.. GODDAMN this is why this nation is falling apart.. this feminized “everybody’s a winner,” rhetoric. I dont’ even like YaReally, but to see him psychologically and linguistically dominating that girl brought glee to my face. Dude has the potential to surpass King A in the verbal asswhooping sphere. And his craft is getting sharper and sharper..

Bring back the Alien and Sedition Acts! But this time around surpress lies, myths and stupidity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anywho.. let’s talk about emotions. Specifically, the durations of each.

Say on a daily basis you got your girl and she’s nagging or whatever. Stand firm and just give her that annoyed eye.

Last time we were at a coffee shop, II upped the asshole for about say half an hour and then was all warm and fuzzy for ten minutes, then turned cold.. Fireworks shortly ensued.

On another day I went at it for 45 minutes, really teasing her. Didn’t work. Got pissed.

Yet another day I went for 10 minutes, and was chummy chummy for an hour, and she was ablazen with lust.

It’d be interesting to take an in-depth look at emotions and which ones are most effective in what pairs after another and the duration of each. Of course this is superflous, but this relates to my field. I’ve noticed from my childhood that my teachers would pull the same exact shit. Like when we’re aiming to please and do extra well on a report, they’d just be like “okay ” with a scoff. But when we’re down in the dumps and i muster out a half assed C, they’d be all warm and fuzzy and praising you. WTF

It seems that comfort and predictability are the pure enemies of passionate sex but proponents of platonic love.

And anger and hatred and jealousy are conducive to it. Nearly always.. Hence make upsex.
And fear and respect as well. It’s said in the Ars Amorata (Old ass roman love book) that girls want to sleep with dudes who scare them, and villains and psycopaths are obviously swimming in pussy.
Yet weddings make girls horny as hell too.
And some of that cheesy romantic shit does work..

Get a book on “dog training” and apply the principles to your interactions with women. You need to reward her to cement proper behavior, but for your attention to have value – is has to be rare. Like any commodity which is in short supply – the price goes up, as does the demand, when there is less of it. You, control the supply… Too many people try to give away their attention, and it is treated at the value that you are charging – i.e., it is worthless… But if someone has to work hard for your attention, they will value it…

Women are fickle creatures – so you have to make them value your attention. And make sure that your “reward” always benefits you. So the reward can be a weekend with you in a cabin in the woods, where she will cater to your needs, cook your meals, then f**k you to exhaustion, etc. Never do anything that doesn’t directly benefit you. She should want to make you happy – so give her the opportunity to do so as a reward… Use your rewards to train her in proper behavior.

I highly recommend watching The Dog Whisperer, for how to handle both women and men. There is a significant amount of overlap between Caeser’s beliefs/mindsets/methods/rewards/punishments and dealing with humans.

[…] Providing evidence ♥♥♥YET AGAIN♥♥♥ for another Chateau Heartiste maxim, a study has come out which finds that women love men who parcel their displays of love unpredictably (h/t: reader George). I Heart Unpredictable Love TO love is to suffer; to be happy is to love. So must one suffer to be happy? This syllogism won’t win any prizes in logic, but it accurately describes a curious paradox of human behavior: the allure of unpredictable romantic partners. […] This kind of amorous attachment is like gambling — except that the currency is affection and sex. The key is that the reward is unanticipated, which Source: Chateau Heartiste […]