Ok so i tried again.
Is this any better? (I still am not sure about it. Think I am going to do lots of pages of expressions and poses that match the expressions after this as they are so important to get the story across!)

The deadline is SO close! I like the overall tone you chose for this work... the warmth of Lucy and her magic toolbox is a great way to push the viewer into the focal point. I did notice a couple things that I think could warrant some attention before you submit (if you haven't already).
I did a paintover to illustrate my point (i sure hope that is alright).
Firstly, since you inquired about the facial expression, I did some work there. The eyes that you have drafted look a little dumb-struck... a little zombie like (like how I feel without coffee). So I exaggerated the shape of the eyes into that "raised-eyebrow, OH NO what is going on-look". I also painted away some of her bangs so I could let her expression inform her eyebrows a bit more. Similarly, I pushed the anxious look of the mouth with a little teeth-gritting expression and mixed it with a frown... it's not perfect but it does make for a little better expression (i also lowered the jaw a little to accommodate that frown).
Also, I fixed that hairline on the side of her head, just imagine where your own hairline is and look at some photos, even if you decided to cover up that ear you would probably see a bit of the nape of her neck (as her hair is pulled up.)
Also, take a good look at her right hand, do you see it? The thumb is on the wrong side of the hand... Easy easy fix.
I don't know the story, but I thought it might be a little more compelling if the narwhals were looking at Lucy as she repaired the hole in the boat... minor and may not fit the story.
I used duct tape in my illustration as well! Great minds...

I like how this is going, your composition sweeps around and back to the focal point nicely. I think the adjustment to her expression really helps explain her feelings on this situation better as well.