It is definitely a lack of wanting to work for anything that got them to where they are.

Some just turn to a life of crime, or begging, because it simply makes more money than working an actual job and having to show up on time to work.

But there are others for whom there have been no opportunities or chances to better themselves. Be it a lack of education because of money, or lack of opportunities for jobs.

My own extended family on one side is dirt poor which is an interesting contrast to my extended family on the other side who are millionaires.

My aunt used to spend 15 hours a day peeling vegetables for $1.

$1 in their local currency.

Barely enough to even buy the couple of vegetables that she had spent hours peeling.

But she did it.

She worked for $1 a day, because she had a need to contribute to the family.

Did I mention no government help at all?

There just weren’t any jobs available and she had no education or proper skills to help her succeed.

Even if she had proper education or skills, she admitted that she just didn’t have the intelligence to compete with others who were just hungrier (and smarter), fighting for those very few jobs and spots that would give them a light at the end of the tunnel.

It was like being in a permanent recession.

My aunt lived with her 3 other brothers and sisters and my grandmother in the home.

They survive because she had other siblings like my parents who were better off, and sent money to their mother and other siblings who lived at home, to help them out.

They didn’t live in utter poverty, because they were saved by their kind hearted siblings who could relate to the jobless hell they were living in.

All the money my parents sent, was carefully kept in a jar, rationed like it was their last windfall, and spent very, very frugally.

They made all their own clothes out of old scraps of cloth, or they wore clothes we’d send by the suitcases back home.

They grew as many vegetables as they could. They ate very little meat, as it was expensive.

And they lived in a modest but comfortable house without any air conditioning or heating system.

No television, no radio, and a little telephone for precious, rationed calls.

In that household, there was only one aunt who was a complete deadbeat.

She didn’t have the sense of hard work or ethic, and felt entitled to the money sent to the home.

She had always thought from young, that she was a princess of sorts, and that a White Knight would come along to save her from her situation.

He never came of course, and she thought it was because of her family that he never materialized.

When we visited, she refused to even come out of her room and acknowledge our family, even to make a little conversation as her way of saying thanks.

She loathed my parents for having money, having worked hard and gotten lucky to be able to get out of the situation.

It was like having two aunts who were night and day.

My aunts and uncles would have killed for the opportunities given kids here in North America.

Opportunities that some kids are wasting.

And they have tried to find jobs, but there just simply aren’t any, or they have been taken by others.

They can’t even become homeless hobos, because they would die on the streets, as no one has any money to spare for the homeless.

Poor people are sometimes just born at the wrong place at the wrong time.

About the Author

Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver.
I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year.
Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about my story here, or visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist.

catherine

also many people are genuinely mentally disabled and don’t have the ability. Some people have SEVERE learning disablities and others (about 25 percent of the population)have an IQ under 90. My mother had a tested IQ of 70 but she was able to be an LPN. But that was back before they made it so hard to be an LPN. She says someone with her IQ couldn’t do it today. Employers won’t tolerate slowness in anyone. it’s very fast paced and hurry up these days. workers that can’t keep up are not wanted. Many are not employable…not because they can’t work but because only the very fast are wanted and jobs are not available for everyone.

My father's parents were born very poor (hills of Kentucky) and had no education past grade school for grandpa and middle school for grandma. However, they were the hardest working people I have ever known.

They ended up supporting themselves and six kids just fine although you would never call them financial successes. Now I have family members (descendants of these same grandparents) who are poor because they are just plain lazy. It's so sad and in my opinion dishonors the entire family.

I believe in food stamps because no one should ever go hungry, but I wonder if we've made things a little too comfortable if they can raise kids, have computers and cell phones and never work?

Perhaps frugality and a work ethic is born out of sheer necessity to do so.

If there is no food without working, people would work on the farms to grow it so they wouldn’t starve.

If there is plenty of food and comforts without having to do much, why bother working?

A very good question!!

@maritzainca

Thank you so much for this post. Your family has such good hearts to help out your extended family, and it says a lot about family values. Both sides of my family came from very poor (and very large) families in a third world country, with similar situations as your family. I was very lucky to be born here, and have parents who worked to the bone to give my brother and I what we had growing up. I really think people need to understand that some people have a harder time due to a lack of education and opportunities (like the dreaded cycle of "they won't hire w/o certain experience, but you can't get experience if no one gives you a chance"), and if only people can understand there are some poor people that are willing to work hard and end their cycle, maybe others would be more open to giving them a chance, as my parents were given. Giving someone a chance or a bit of help can make such a difference in a poor family's life. Thank you again for showing this side. Hopefully it will open more eyes.

Kristina

You've covered some of it, but it isn't all a lack of wanting to work toward something. Yes, some are moochers, but most come from generations of poor before them, so getting out of poverty can seem quite hopeless, especially if there is no example at hand to show how it's possible.Certainly a mindset of poverty is passed down that needs to be identified before it can be broken. Children of the rich have like a springboard in life which is quite nice (not that they don't have to work hard as well). The poor come from a pit.

*sigh* I see this very same phenomenon with my family back home. When we visit, there's definitely the Rich side and the Poor side. But with LOTS of help and support from us (the family overseas, not just my family) some of the kids in that generation have begun to do better for themselves in terms of making a living. If it weren't for imported money, they could never have afforded to get technical training, buy a used sewing machine, buy tools or anything that would have allowed them to work as mechanics, tailors or other such occupations.

Luckily, (or maybe for completely unrelated reasons that I'm unaware of) the family that I knew of cared about us as people and not just cash cows AND didn't *seem* to resent our presence on the rare occasions we were able to return for a visit. If nothing else, I'm really glad that we got to know that side of the family on a personal level because it brings home everything you've said here as very valid and enriches my perspective.

My family doesn't have much. I don't have much. My grandparents were all poor farmers, my parents grew up in orange groves. My grandparents struggled but finally climbed out of their holes – my grandfathers became foremen in their fields, my mom's mom became a nurse, my dad's mom was the church secretary.

I grew up eating beans for dinner every night because that was all there was. We had peanut butter and honey sandwiches and oranges every day for lunch (because my grampa kept bees and worked in the orange groves so, free food).

My parents both managed a little bit of college education (both have an Associate's degree, as does my brother). I am four months away from my MS and I am thinking about either the PhD or a second MS.

Climbing up and out of that hole is possible. It is hard, sometimes it really sucks and it is never much fun. But it can be done.

Never give up hope. My pride gets in the way more than I want to admit and I am not good at asking for help. I guess cuz I had to rely on so much help when I was a kid. But I never gave up hope…

Carla

I agree with this completely. Some just are born into poverty, and unfortunately stay there, and others, choose (yes, choose) to be poor, or live on handouts and government supplements, welfare, etc… I don't think anyone is 'entitled' to anything… it's a poor state of mind. Of course we should help those who are less fortunate & have no choices/opportunities, but what about those who choose to sit at home on welfare instead of flipping burgers because they're "above" that. That I don't like…

Kristina

Cont'd from above…..

As for a life of crime, a large percentage of these people are not only from poverty but were also cruelly abused as kids, which can deaden their capacity for compassion, not to mention it fosters rage. It's not likely that laziness is the biggest factor here. Walking in what you know is often what it boils down to. My husband works with foster youth. If you are a foster youth when you turn 18 you can go to college for free! Often because everyone they are personally connected with is unsuccessful in life, they don't have the bravery to make the disconnect and be different. Support is so important. And many of the homeless who turn to begging are mentally ill and unable to function in society.

Lastly, I think part of the reason your aunt would not come out to have conversation with you (as thanks, as you put it) was because of pride. It was probably hard to swallow your pity for her. You might all have even come off as asses (don't know you all, so not making that assumption at all, but I do know people like this!)

So true. Sometimes, despite people's best efforts their surroundings largely determine their affluence.

It's amazing how most people recognize that not all rich/successful (by traditional standards) people are hardworking but it's easy to feel that laziness has a part to play in someone's lack of success / wealth.

Meg

Thank you for this post. I have seen so many very uncompassionate posts about poor people that just break my heart — not to mention all I've heard from people around me, especially when I was in college and surrounded by young adults who didn't realize how privileged they were to be there. Many of them looked down on poor people and said things like, "Well, if they wanted to make more money then they'd just go to college like the rest of us. Anyone can go to college." I kid you not. Not the brightest, huh?

I grew up in a poor county. It wasn't poor like your aunt per se, but there were definitely some people doing "piece" work getting paid less than minimum wage. What government assistance was available was often not obtainable because in a rural county it's very hard to go through the bureaucracy of it all if you don't have good transportation.

I knew this one group of kids that got picked on because they smelled. The smelled because they had no running water to wash with. The mobile home they lived in was old and didn't even have a floor in some places. The son had mental difficulties. Do you think our school counselor even mentioned college to them? They didn't get "You can be anything you want!" speeches.

Some kids would have done a lot better in school except they had to work to help support their families. There were few jobs and most were minimum wage. It's hard to get college-worthy grades when you're working long hours and then baby-sitting your siblings because your parents have to work another shift.

I considered myself lucky. I didn't have to work outside of school. But I still couldn't depend on my mom to pay my way through college. I don't think I knew anyone whose parents did that so it wasn't something I even expected. I was able to scrape together some scholarships, but I had a lot more support at school and at home. My mom was determined that I would go to college and made sure that I asked the right questions of the right people so that I'd be prepared, even though she didn't know much about college herself. And teachers at school did help me learn about college some, but I know I was lucky because they were already very busy. Counselors had very little time for college talk. Most students had no clue about college entrance requirements or even how/where/when to take entrance exams or what would be on them. Many couldn't find transportation to them or the money for the fees, let alone tutoring (I never got tutoring either, but having access to the internet helped).

I don't say all this to complain about my upbringing or say that no one can break through the barriers. I think we did well with what we have and I felt very privileged, not poor at all. And there are exceptional people who are just that, exceptions. It just bothers me how people with so much more than even what I had can take it all for granted, feel so entitled, and then judge others when they don't have a clue.

Kate

I just got back from a (business) trip to Southern Africa, and one visit we had to a microcredit project just blew me away. I know all of the usual stats about the country (more than half live on less than a dollar a day, etc etc etc) but somehow it hadn't sunk in.

The microcredit project requires a minimum deposit of the equivalent of 3 dollars CDN in local currency, in order to enable women to take out a loan of the equivalent of 30 bucks CDN. Apparently women will skrimp and save for MONTHS to get to the point of just being to open an account.

There are virtually no jobs in that area. Hardly any jobs in the whole country, honestly, so moving wouldn't really be much of an option. Subsistence agriculture is the norm- most of the women will never see any actual currency, and any that they do has to be squirelled away from trying to cover a family's costs.

I personally think it goes without saying, although I might be taking my personal experience as a child of parents who were immigrants. But even outside of that, there are so many stories as well as media visualizations of the poor as struggling and victims of circumstance and not lazy or perpetrators of their own fate.

Awesome stories. I think so many folks jump to conclusions when they see someone who is poor. A lot of times, the place where you were born dictates your ability to get through school, into college, and access to great jobs. Poor does not always equal lazy. I know very many lazy, unethical rich people who were born rich and are able to skate into middle management jobs. The same person born into a real poor area of Chicago has access to so many less resources. Thanks for the fun post! Isn't family grand?