"Deadnaming" is the act
of referring to a transgender person's birth name
instead of their chosen name. It is the practice of
uttering or publishing the name that a transgender
person used prior to transition.

Most of the time, an
individual will pick a new name as soon as they begin to
identify as the gender they know they are on the inside.
This new name, in a way, marks the "death" of their old
identity and the person they once were. With a new name,
they signify a new, more truthful, and more fully
realized phase of their life.

For many people who are
transgender, undergoing a name change can be an
affirming step in the transition process. It can help a
transgender person and the people in their lives begin
to see them as the gender they know themselves to be. It
can also alleviate discomfort that may be associated
with one’s old (former, previous) name.

Genderqueer (genderfluid)
people may also elect to change their name (or pronouns)
as a way of feeling more authentic and affirmed in their
identity.

Transgender and
genderqueer people really want other people to forget
their previous name. Unfortunately, many people may
struggle to adhere to a transgender person’s new,
affirmed name. In some situations, other people may
refuse to acknowledge the change altogether. And in
situations that involve official identification, having
a legal name that doesn’t align with one’s affirmed name
can cause people serving in official capacities
(administrators, employers, government officials, legal
entities) to inadvertently refer to a trans person by
the wrong name or gender.

Uninformed cisgender
(straight) people might comment about a trans person’s
“real” name, as if the new name a trans person uses is
somehow less real than the one given to them at birth,
when they were assigned male or female. It is seen as a
verbally violent offense that attempts to invalidate a
person’s authentic gender identity.

Deadnaming occurs when
someone, intentionally or accidentally, refers to a
transgender person by the name they used before they
transitioned. You may also hear it described as
referring to someone by their “birth name” or their
“given name.”

Regrettably, deadnaming
is often employed as a transphobic way to demean and
deny a transgender person's true expression of self.

It can occur,
intentionally or accidentally, anywhere in a transgender
person’s life, from personal relationships to the
classroom or workplace.

--Someone accidentally
(unintentionally, unconsciously) deadnames because they
are used to using the old name and they are still
adjusting to the new name. For example: John Doe calls
his transgender sister, "Steve" by accident because he
had referred to her as that for most of his life. He
apologizes and corrects himself.

--Someone purposefully
(intentionally, deliberately) deadnames to cause
distress. For example: At school, while Jen was walking
down the hall, Anthony walks by her and coughs "Steve."
Jen gets upset and tries to correct Anthony, but he just
walks away snickering.

--Someone purposefully
(intentionally, deliberately) deadnames because of their
beliefs. For example: Grandma calls Jen "Steve" because
she stubbornly believes that Jen is still a boy.

Why Deadnaming is Harmful

When you refer to a
transgender person by their non-affirmed name, it can
feel invalidating. It can cause them to feel like you
don’t respect their identity, you don’t support their
transition, or that you don’t wish to put forth the
effort to make this necessary change.

If you do so in front of
people who are not in the know, it can effectively “out”
the transgender person. This may or may not be something
that they want other people to know. Not only can being
outed cause stress, it can also subject that person to
harassment and discrimination.

For transgender people, a
name change is an integral part of their struggle to
determine and affirm their identities. Deadnaming
reminds the person of their former name (and former
life) and invalidates their efforts to be their
authentic self. It has the potential to bring forth
painful or embarrassing memories and dig up a past that
they would much rather forget. A transgender person
experiences some dysphoria at the mere thought of anyone
knowing their given name or assigned gender.

Some transgender people,
after having self-determined their identity or after
they have transitioned, no longer refer to themselves as
transgender. Instead they simply refer to themselves by
their correct and true gender.

Even if some acts of
deadnaming and misgendering are due to insensitivity,
carelessness, and ignorance, it can be viewed as a form
of transphobia and as psychological violence.

Using transgender
people’s correct name is literally a matter of life and
death. A new study found that transgender people who are
referred to with the correct name are at a lower risk of
suicide.

Stephen Russell of the University of Texas at Austin, et
al., interviewed 129 transgender and non-binary people
between the ages of 15 and 21. He asked them if they
could go by their actual name at home, at school, at
work, and with their friends, and also asked them
questions about suicide.

Compared to participants who had to go by their birth
name in all four domains, those who could go by their
actual name were 34% less likely to report thoughts of
suicide and 65% less likely to attempt suicide. Those
who could go by their real names experienced 71% fewer
symptoms of depression.

“I’ve been doing research on LGBTQ youth for almost 20
years now, and even I was surprised by how clear that
link was,” Russell said.

The researchers found participants in three major cities
and said that his sample was diverse in terms of
socioeconomic class and race. They controlled for those
factors when analyzing the results and also for social
support.

“It’s practical to support young people in using the
name that they choose,” Russell said. “It’s respectful
and developmentally appropriate.”

This is another reason it’s important to fight
discrimination at work, to force schools to respect
trans students’ gender identities, and for people to
refer to use the right names for the transgender people
in their lives: for some people, it can be a matter of
life and death.

“Calling a trans person
by their former name is referred to as deadnaming and is
considered highly offensive to most trans people I
know.”

-Steven Petrow

"I think selecting a name
and hearing people refer to me with that name was pretty
solidifying in the transition process. It made me feel
like I was being seen as the man I was presenting myself
as. When I finally got my legal documentation changed
over to reflect my chosen name, it was a major deal.
Yes, it's time-consuming and frustrating, but it's so
worth it in the end. I no longer get strange looks when
I present my ID card or license."

-Caleb Camacho

“For transgender people,
our relationships to our names are complicated, to say
the least. What we’re called has power, and hearing a
blatantly masculine or feminine name applied to you when
you’re trying to realign your gender in a different
direction can be a source of profound, dysphoria-inducing
anxiety. Hearing or seeing one’s old name can induce a
visceral sense of terror that no matter how much
progress one makes in their transition, the person they
used to be (or pretended to be) is still there. One’s
deadname is a name that shall not be spoken, for it
invokes a restless spirit. Many trans people will go to
great lengths to prevent people from finding out their
deadnames, destroying irreplaceable photos and documents
in an effort to ensure that who they really are is the
only identity most will remember. We may not be able to
make our families forget what they used to call us, but
we can change how we’re known to the rest of the world.”

-Samantha Riedel

“Deadnaming and
misgendering trans people is an act of violence.”

-Laverne Cox

“In my experience,
dead-naming can show a lack of respect for that person's
identity. For those who have just begun their
transition, especially, it can also cause pretty bad
dysphoria and self-doubt and anxiety and a whole list of
emotions that no one should have to deal with. During
the first couple of years of my transition, it didn't
really bother me too much, especially with my family. It
took a while for my family to fully accept my
transition, so I was understanding of the fact that it
would take time for them to get used to referring to me
by my preferred name. After all, they'd spent
20-something years calling me by my dead name. Now,
since I've been transitioning for more than four years,
I get a bit annoyed if they slip up, and then I remind
them that my name is Caleb. It doesn't happen too often
anymore, though."

-Caleb Camacho

“When I first went full
time, I gathered up every piece of clothing I owned from
my previous life and I put it in a box. On that box I
wrote my dead name. It felt like packing up after a
loved one has died. It took me a weekend to fill the box
and the whole time I was filling the box I grieved. That
chapter in my life is over. Those things belong to...
someone else. Someone I never really was but pretended
to be for thirty years. That life wasn't all bad. Some
of the things that went in that box were sentimental.
Some of those things represented accomplishments and
journeys I had taken. But I don't connect to those
things the same way anymore. And so I grieved. So I
packed everything away, as though I had died, and I
grieved for what I was leaving behind. I think that the
grieving was important. Choosing to transition is a
choice to leave some things behind. Filling the box was
a time when I could grieve for those things. I still
have the box in the closet with my dead name on it.
There are things in the box too precious to part with,
and those memories will always be part of me. But I'm
not that person any more. I've grieved for that person,
but now I've moved on. I think dead name is an
entirely appropriate way to refer to a name and an
identity that has passed and been mourned, don't you?”

-Jae Alexis Lee

“For the most part, you
should never use a trans person’s birth name (or, as
some of us often call it, dead name) and you should
always stick with the pronouns they’ve asked you to use.
It’s important to understand they didn’t become who they
are the moment they told you their chosen name. And they
didn’t become this person because they transitioned.
Instead, they transitioned because they already were
this person. When you’re talking about their past, even
though you may not have known them as the person they
are now, this is still the person they were. For
example, I’ve always been Amelia. I may not have gone by
this name in the past, but this was always the person I
was inside, even if I was hiding it as much as possible
and pretending to be someone else. Also, it’s never okay
to out a trans person. Depending on the company you’re
in, it’s possible, perhaps even likely, that not
everyone is aware this person is transgender and they
would like to keep it that way. While I’m 100% openly
transgender, it’s still not okay for someone else to out
me. Even if it’s pretty obvious to someone else that I’m
trans, no one else has the right to confirm that
information. Maybe I don’t want to actually talk about
trans stuff at that time. Maybe my safety could be at
risk, which is not something anyone else is in a
position to evaluate. Maybe there’s just no reason why
that person needs to know I’m trans.”

Clocking - Term used to
reflect that a transgender person has been recognized as
trans, usually when that person is trying to blend in
with cisgender people, and not intending to be seen as
anything other than the gender they present. The term is
typically used by presentation-focused trans men and
women to explain the crushing disappointment they feel,
usually when cisgender people “out” them, but also when
someone trans does it. Another word is "read," as in
"She read me," or "I got read as trans." It should be
noted not all trans people can or want to “blend in” or
"pass" to avoid being “clocked,” and many make peace
with their gender presentation being at odds with what
society dictates a man or woman "should" look like.

Passing – For those whose
aim is to be accepted as the gender with which they
identify, “passing” is considered a worthy goal, and at
the same time a very arbitrary determinant. “Passing” is
to “blend-in,” and like beauty, can vary depending on
the eye of the beholder. For many trans people, the
pursuit of "passing" is rooted in a desire for safety.

Sex Change – The term is
far from accurate and not generally preferred. To many
in the trans community, it can be an insulting term.

To those looking in from
the outside, "sex change" seems to be the perfect
description: one day you’re a woman, now you’re a man.
You changed your sex. Well, not really. To understand
why “sex change” is a terrible thing to say, understand
that “sex” is a stand-in for the word “gender.” Gender
doesn’t really change when someone undergoes an
operation that for decades was commonly called a “sex
change,” or more recently, “sexual reassignment
surgery.” Someone who identifies as female (regardless
of their sex assigned at birth) doesn’t change, so much
as work to align their physical appearance and anatomy
with the gender they know themselves to be.

That’s why the term
“gender reassignment” came about, to better explain that
a person assigned male at birth was given a treatment or
surgery to live as a female. But that, too, raised
heckles, and that is where we get the terms “gender
confirmation surgery” and “gender affirming surgery,”
two more accepted terms that emphasize the treatment and
surgery not so much as a transformation but as an
acknowledgement that the mind and body needed
realignment.