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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Military relationships are notorious for producing affairs. There are so many stories of military relationships failing due to one or both parties falling prey to their own physical and emotional desires. Honestly, can you blame someone for having an affair when their partners are away for months at a time? No, How about if the deployed service member ignores his/her partner and doesn't keep in touch their their partner at home? What if the deployed service member is the one conducting the affair?

What bothers me the most is that servicemembers are not responsible for their actions while they are away from home*. The servicemember's partner get more heat (especially if they live on post) about the infidelity because they failed their partner who were serving overseas, putting their lives on the line.

An affair is the product of BOTH parties. The lack of communication, laziness in martial duties, decrease commitment towards one another increases the likelihood of extramarital relations. The phrase "I was away for too long" is an excuse for the lack of effort.**

*Alright, I'm not stupid. I know that there are consequences for the servicemember as well. Yes, you would be violating the Uniform Code of Military Justice. When there is sufficient proof that the affair took place then punishments range from a simple reprimand to a court-martial. In this blog, I just want to highlight the extra blame and guilt the non-deployed or civilian spouse suffer because of their mistake.

** Please note: this post is really just a rant and simplified version of the infidelity argument. So please, don't bash my post... too much!

1 comments:

This is a really touchy subject! I applaud you for writing about it! I witnessed a friend go through this whole ordeal with her husband. He met a woman while he was deployed and asked for a divorce, so my friend decided to look elsewhere as well! Well, the overseas woman ended up dumping her husband, and he wanted my friend back, and she had already moved on. It's such a bad situation...she was labeled as the "whore," and he was just supposed to be forgiven for asking for a divorce after she'd waited for him for 7 months while he was deployed?! It's totally a double standard. It takes a VERY strong relationship to survive a deployment...and unfortunately, the just didn't have that solid foundation. It's very sad...and I hate that military couples are stereotyped this way. It's no different than civilian couples! And there are a LOT of military couples that have healthy, happy relationships. I'm very lucky to be in that category :) Thanks for talking about this...it needed to be said!

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About Me

I am a twenty six year old, Korean American, Christian, and social worker (therapist by trade). I am the oldest of two daughters and I got married in June of 2008. My husband is a soldier in the Army and has recently returned from his 2nd deployment from Iraq. I strive to be supportive towards my husband's career although I complain a lot about how much I hate his job. We currently reside in Orange County California. I love to go out and spending quality time with friends, especially checking out new restaurants. Interests include knitting, reading, blogging, surfing the web for useless information, scrapbooking, watching extremely addicting Korean dramas, playing board games, supporting Army Football, playing football, soccer, and lacrosse, and baking delicious desserts (especially cookies). We are expecting our first child in January and can't wait to meet our son!