To Keep or Not to Keep

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo

I heard about the “KonMari Method” from a quick blurb in New York Magazine a few weeks back. Seeing as how I love to be tidy and clean, as well as the fact that I’m feeling a bit weighed down from all of our stuff, I ordered the book and started reading it on Sunday. I nearly finished it in one go, I enjoyed it so much.

First off, I must admit that this problem of having too much stuff is admittedly not a luxury everyone has. Duh. Just as previous reviews of books about what to eat have been greeted with the occasional ‘nice to have that problem’ comment, I can imagine that this might cause more than a few eyes to roll. And that’s cool – you do you. But considering the fact that I, for example, love to write in my books, I often can’t go the library route, leading me to acquire and hold on to many more books than I actually really want to keep. I think most folks who have access to some disposable income can end up spending it on things they either don’t need now, or hold onto items they no longer need.

Ms. Kondo’s premise is that homes get messy because we have more items than we need, and instead of constantly buying clever containers, shelving units and even full off-site storage lockers, we need to cull what we have back to the items that bring us joy. Yeah, that’s right. Joy. Some reviewers get caught up on this – how could toilet paper, for example, bring us joy? Well, considering the despair I’ve felt over discovering I was out of toilet paper only after I’d put myself in a position to need it, I don’t actually think that’s a stretch. Same with, say, a kitchen tool. My bread knife doesn’t make my eyes sparkle, but man do I love the fact that I don’t smush delicate breads when I use it.

The KonMari method is, on the surface, simple. Touch literally every single thing that you own (in order – starting with clothes), and decide whether to keep it or discard it. Once you are sure you are going to keep the item, you find the right place for it, and that’s where it lives. You don’t go room by room as some places suggest; you do all of one type of item in one go. Anything in that category that you forgot to put in your pile for consideration gets automatically tossed.

She also asks us to be respectful of our things, to thank them for doing what they have done for us. This might be too touchy-feely for folks, but it worked for me. And it helps ease the pain of the slow realization that you aren’t ever going to read Ulysses, and that’s okay. You bought the book, and it taught you that reading Ulysses isn’t enough of a priority for it to make sense for you to hold onto the book. Thank it and discard it.

Yes, discard. That could mean donate, recycle, or even throw out. Does that seem wasteful? I think it might to some. If you bought a dress (or received it as a gift) four years ago and never wore it, her theory is it is more wasteful taking up physical space in your closet and emotional space in your mid than it is to donate it to Goodwill. And this does go for EVERYTHING – she even direct readers to take every photo out of every photo album and photo box, go through them, and only keep the ones that really speak to you. Brutal, right? But man, that sounds kind of amazing.

If anything I’m writing appeals to you, then I strongly recommend this book. I plan to tackle the clothing portion starting tomorrow night, and I can already tell that there are some items that I’m going to discard that a week ago I couldn’t have imagined. But the chance that I might need it for a Halloween costume in a decade isn’t a good enough reason to keep it around.

Her point is also that once you clean up the clutter from your house, you will have more clarity in other parts of your life. Am I expecting that once we reduce our stuff I’ll suddenly find my dream job? No. But I can see that there may be more subtle benefits. On the second-to-last page of the book, Ms. Kondo writes “The moment you picked up this book with the intention of tidying, you took the first step. If you have read this far, you know what you need to do next.” It might seem cheesy, but I do.

I haven’t read this book but have just read reviews and feel I’m on board with the “only keep what gives you joy” thing. So…do I still need to read it?

I’ve been trying to just throw away – truth is I have NO problem chucking thing (my husband and kids however, are not on the same page with me 😉 . My issue is time. I’ve been trying to put in 10 minutes a day to just take a 12X12 inch spot of our house and PURGE. I’m not that consistent. So for me, committing time is the issue. Because I will fully admit that 93% of my stuff is just stuff. I don’t care about it, don’t want to store it better, just want it gone. I’ve gotten rid of ~10 garbage bags this year alone (some went to goodwill/recycling) and it feels like we’ve barely made a dent.

(I realize this probably makes me sound like a hoarder who lives in squalor – that’s NOT the case, but our house is large and full of stuff FOR SURE).

I think, just from the tiny bit you’ve shared, that you might benefit from reading it, because she talks specifically about the issue of how to find the time. She’s pretty clear that she doesn’t think a room-by-room approach works, and she doesn’t think ‘do a little every day’ works either. Pick a Saturday, get everyone in the family to gather every single bit of clothing throughout the house, and do it. One go. Then pick another item (she has a suggested order in the book), and do ALL of it. But that does seem challenging for anyone with kids. But yeah, I think it’d still be worth a read. Or maybe a skim?

I first heard about this book in an interview between Jamie Lee Curtis and Sigourney Weaver (google it, it’s an excellent read and gives great insight into two wonderful ladies), and was instantly intrigued. As the husband and I are fully aware that we have way too much stuff, and we are thinking of moving in the near future, this book seems like essential reading to me. I just don’t know if I can get to the mind space where I can get rid of so many things. Given a big enough flat, I would probably hoard even more.

Oooh I’ll look that up, thank you! I hope you enjoy it! I started last night with my clothing / shoes / accessories and ended up throwing out a couple of things but coming up with three garbage bags full of clothes and shoes to donate. It felt AMAZING.

Sure thing! It’s going really well! Over the last week my husband and I have gone through all of our clothes, books, photo albums, electronics (and their supporting miscellany; my husband got rid of .SO MANY CORDS), linens. Basically all that is left is our kitchen and pantry area, as well as holiday decorations (which currently only take up one tub under the guest bed anyway). We’ve gone from two full closets and two dressers to one closet and one dresser accommodating all of our clothes (save jackets). We had books and shit in every nook and cranny, so even though we live in an apartment, we managed to store a lot. Now there’s, like, space on shelves. It’s SO COOL.

And everything now has a place, and it’s intuitive (at least to us). We ended up throwing out probably three garbage bags of things we couldn’t donate, and took two carloads to Goodwill. It’s amazing how easy it is to accumulate things. We realized many were gifts that we neither like nor dislike – we just kept them because, you know, free shit.

We’re definitely going to have to do this again – probably once a year, but we’ll be starting from a place with less stuff already, so it won’t be a onerous. The best part is that there isn’t crap everywhere. The house is clean and we have space to just be. I’m a fan 🙂

I’m impressed with how much you seem to have sorted already. As Mrs. Julien says, that’s very inspiring. I’m more than half-way throught the book now, and the only thing that I think I’m going to have real trouble with discarding lots of, is my books. I know she says that “will read sometime” means “never”, but that is not always my experience. I do, however, suspect that if I actually do as she says, and stack ALL my books on the floor and force myself to touch and consider each and every one, I will get rid of many more than I would if I considered them still on the shelves.

I will need to get my husband to read the book too, and then I suspect I know what we will be doing for most of my upcoming Easter vacation. Discard so many of the things! Then clean all the things! I have NEVER in my life been a tidy person. It will be very interesting to see if this method could be the solution.

I am reasonably certain that we could decrease the contents of our house by at least a third if we really undertook this. I can’t imagine talking Mr. Julien into it, but even starting with my stuff and The Boy’s would be productive. Every time I open a kitchen drawer, I think, “Really?!”, but then I get lost it making sure things get donated properly and not just thrown out.

Replying here as the thread seems to stop at a certain point … So I definitely cheated on the photos. I did go through every picture through high school. I had six albums, and only ended up keeping maybe 40 pictures? College I actually did scrapbooks, so I’d already whittled those down. The rest I really love, so I decided to keep. Maybe in five years I’ll go through another five years worth.

We tackled the last corner of the house tonight – the kitchen. We didn’t do the pantries (I go through our food cupboards every two or three months) but did all the places where we store any kitchen utensils or appliances. Ended up with three garbage bags worth to donate. We’re both pooped but man, our house looks better and feels better. Good luck if you end up trying it – I’d love to hear how it goes for you!

There is a power in sorting through and getting rid of stuff. I find it cathartic, even when I’m sorting through and getting rid of someone else’s stuff. Currently I’m working with a friend with a hoarding problem. She has an insane work deadline, so I’m sorting bagging and packing while she works. I feel lighter with every bag of trash I take out. I’ve identified issues that need to be addressed in my life and cleared out a lot of mental clutter as I’ve begun to empty my friend’s house. She is not having the same experience. But that would be a different book.

Oh wow. I did find it so cathartic – especially when it came to the clothing and the book sort, for a few different personal reasons. I can imagine it would be a really different experience doing it for someone else, especially someone who has acquired many more items than the average person. Thank you for sharing this.

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