New Year, New Team

December 31, 2010

Tomorrow is New Year’s Day. Many magazines/newspapers have a “New Year, New You” theme that runs at some point during the first couple weeks of the new year. I’d like to take that idea one step further for the Sabres team: “New Year, New Team.” If they follow these simple steps, they may be able to turn their current misfortunes around…somewhat. I’m not saying they would be a playoff contender, but it’s getting really old to keep saying “these guys really, really suck.”

But I digress. Here’s my “New Year, New Team” list.

1. Remember that a hockey game is 60 minutes long, not 40 or 20. Please note that a full team effort should be applied for the full 60 minutes.

2. Shoot the puck at the net. I don’t care if you can make the pass of the year on a two-on-one. If you have a clear shot at the net, take it. Good things happen when you shoot at the net.

3. See #1.

4. Stop taking dumb penalties. Lindy should not be turning that shade of red that often during a game. Think of Lindy’s health, guys!

5. Play a decent team game so Miller can have a relaxing night every once in a while. (As relaxing as a night in goal for a professional hockey player can get, I suppose.)

6. Stop deflecting pucks past your own goalie because your big foot or big stick was in the way.

7. Learn when to pick your fights. Or learn to fight better. (I suppose this one really applies to Montador only. Dude is 19 kinds of heart, but not that great of a fighter. He’s more of a grappler.)

8. Remember #1.

9. Pick up the scoring. Then again, I suppose that should come with following #2.

10. Switch up the locker room music from the MJ. Obviously, MJ has ceased to work.

11. Listen to Lindy. For the love of everything holy, stop tuning out the coach. He knows what he’s talking about.

12. Don’t forget about #1!

13. Play every night like your contract is dangling over a lit Bic lighter in Darcy’s office. Then again, with rumors of the new owner coming aboard sooner rather than later, your contracts may actually be dangling over a lit Bic lighter.

14. For those on a contract year, quickly come down with that case of contractyearitis. (I suppose this only really applies to Timmy. When Stafford has been healthy and been on the ice, he actually hasn’t been half bad.)

15. Don’t forget about #1!

And for us fans: if we’ve learned anything this year, its that we should double check our rumor mongering sources. Then again, if someone did, we wouldn’t have been treated to Punch-Gate and Vogl’s prejudice against the land of feces known as Twitter.

I hope you all have a wonderful (and safe) New Year’s Eve. Catch you back here in 2011!