The Other Three Weeks

Game blogs typically focus on aloof alpha game (AAG) that creates and exploits value differentials because it is the form of game that is most poorly understood by the masses of beta males and it is the game with the most untapped potential to quickly and powerfully build an attraction and bond with women, particularly the hot younger women who are most highly prized by men. But there is another aspect of game that is often left under-explored by pickup artists yet is almost as vital to fun, healthy, emotionally fulfilling relationships with women.

I speak of beta reassurance game.

There are perfectly understandable reasons why beta reassurance game (BRG: I will be using nerdy acronyms in this post because I don’t feel like typing out the full terms over and over. Get used to it.) is overlooked:

1. In the early, critical stages of seduction, women respond more viscerally to AAG than to BRG. In fact, unleashing BRG too early will hurt your chances with desirable women, who have more than their share of lickspittle betas doting on them.

2. It’s easy to lose a woman’s sexual interest with too little AAG, as opposed to BRG where too much will turn a woman off. Therefore, the pickup artist’s reaction to this reality is to place more emphasis on AAG at the expense of BRG, since there is a higher risk of not doing enough AAG than there is of doing too much BRG. (The converse — too much AAG or too little BRG — can also turn a woman off, but that dynamic is less pronounced and likelier to occur later in a relationship, after sexual access has been secured.)

3. Most men are beta males by nature, so the core concepts of BRG come to them as naturally as breathing. The concepts underlying AAG are understood by fewer men, so the market for learning AAG is bigger.

4. Most men, especially younger men, who want to do better with women are less interested in the demands of long term relationships than they are in sexual satisfaction. AAG is more applicable to getting laid than it is to the formation and maintenance of LTRs (though by no means is it unimportant to the latter!)

Anyhow, that’s a short list of the reasons why AAG dominates most game discussions. Yet, if we were to carefully plot the trajectories of dying relationships and marriages, a not inconsiderable number of them would have failed because the man distanced himself emotionally or provided insufficient reassurances of emotional fidelity to his woman. The upper crust wife who has a torrid affair with the poolboy because her rich hubby is ignoring her is a stereotype for a reason.

Therefore, it is in your interest as a man to learn and master the chivalric arts of beta provisioning game (without actually providing much materially) as religiously as you train yourself in the dark arts of AAG. A woman in love is aroused both by your dimorphic demonic alphatude and by your crazystickygluey emotional closeness and dependability. The trick is the degree to which you emphasize interchangeability and intimacy.

In general, for most men, AAG should have primacy over BRG at all stages of pair bonding. BRG is the coin of the realm. It is devalued by debt peonage, unshackled female hypergamy and cultural propagandism. AAG is the dusty tome in the attic the keepers of the social order hope you never find. Unless you are a top 20% alpha male, your problem will likely be a risk of smothering women with too much BRG.

So consider this post directed at alpha males with intimacy (aka desire for pussy variety) issues. But beta males have problems in this area as well. Specifically, I’m thinking of the sort of spergy beta who lacks the intuitive grasp of women’s full panoply of needs, and struggles to summon spontaneous romantic gestures that help cement relationship bonds. Then there is the beta who has tasted the sweet success of seducing women into bed, and overshoots, neglecting the value of the long-term soft sell.

Because, keep in mind, there are three weeks out of every month when women don’t ovulate and get horny for alpha male seed. That’s 75% of a woman’s reproductive life (~15 years) when beta males have a shot. Looked at that way, betas running beta provider game have a leg up on alphas running nothing but aloof and indifferent cad game.

Of course, it’s not quite that simple, but you get the idea. BRG is as legit a form of seduction as AAG.

Yes, women are secretly turned on by men who cheat on them or who intimate that they are cheating on them, but women also like thoughtful romantic gifts, gazing at starlight together, dinners out with other couples and shopping in tandem for scented candles. It is a woman’s greatest curse and an inexperienced man’s greatest aggravation that she should have these two opposing desires within her pulling her apart at the seams. The god of biomechanics is a mischievous prankster fuck.

So, in that spirit, here follows a few off-the-cuff guidelines to refine your BRG.

– Inexpensive gifts that signal you know something about a girlfriend are far better than expensive gifts that signal nothing but how much money you’re willing to spend on her.

– Spontaneous romance beats obligated romance every time.

– Chicks dig little notes. The littler and sweeter, the better. Hide them around the house in spots she’ll eventually find them for maximum effect.

– Be nice to her cat when she’s looking.

– Chivalry is OK if you’re doing it for a long-term GF, and it doesn’t cramp your style. Take the seat in the traffic lane in restaurants. Walk streetside when out with her.

– It’s OK to buy a girl a drink on a first or second date. It’s a small act of capitulation to the dominant social memeplex that saves you unnecessary headaches. NOTE: Do NOT buy a girl you JUST met a drink. Drinks should never be used to bribe a girl’s attention.

– Leaven your cocky pickup game with vulnerability game. An anecdote about some small, inconsequential weakness, optimally drawn from your childhood, will activate her “I’m feeling a deep connection with this guy” swoon reflex. Pay heed to the handicap principle. The best alphas can afford charming admissions of quasi-weakness. Contrast is king.

– Strong beta provider game that doesn’t require much monetary investment or undignified appeasement includes choosing her meal for her at a restaurant, getting her into the VIP line at clubs, tactically mentioning something innocuous you remember about her (“You should like this bar. It’s decorated in your favorite color.”), holding hands (your hand on top!), planning dates with real activities that are more than just excuses to get her inebriated and sexually defenseless, and remarking that she’s “winning you over” when she does something awkward or clumsy.

– All BRG rests on a foundation of alpha self-possession. There should never be even a hint of desperation or last-minute-strategizing in BRG. It should flow as smoothly and unpretentiously as AAG.

– Spend a lot of time with her. This is really the heart and soul of BRG. More time with her means less time potentially chasing other women.

Final thought: the amount of BRG you drop should be directly proportional to the interest you have in a girl as girlfriend material. If she’s a one night stand, you hardly need more than an hour or two sitting close to her on a sofa and practicing non-evaluative listening. If she’s a wifey prospect, you’d better get good at remembering her birthday and the time, temperature and cast of moonlight on the night when you first kissed.

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You can do no wrong with the cheap things that show you care.
The 5 minutes of alpha has an analogue in gifts, a cheap gift from a guy she’s attracted to,
means more than expensive items from a schmuck she can’t wait to see the back of.
Plus:
If she doesn’t like you she’ll sell what you give her to gain an advantage.
Hence why savvy men give women EXPERIENCES and not THINGS.
‘Cause she can’t have those EXPERIENCES … unless she’s with YOU.

^ She’s still having those experiences WITH the previous guy.
How do you think the next guy will feel, knowing that he was chosen last?
Unless she takes lots of shots alone, which already signals the end of the relationship (and is kind of weird too, imagine a girl out with her boyfriend, only taking pictures of herself).
I can see you’re new here, Fred.

“In any case, nice guys need not lose all hope. Dr Gayle Brewer, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Central Lancashire, said that while women tend to like cads for flings, they usually settle down with more caring types.”

Translation: “Don’t worry beta guys; while your off punching the clown and being rejected day in and day out, your future bitter skank of a wife is being gang banged by a local band and then expecting you to pay for any children she has (whether by you or not), pay for her house, and treat her like a virginal, hot, religious, 21-year-old princess of the middle ages.”

The ability to walk away keeps women interested.
Hoping women change their behaviour to be better people is wishful thinking.
Everyone gets further knowing what others respond to, rather than what others SHOULD respond to.
There would not be players unless women wanted them.

Seems to me that the Pareto Principle comes into play here. . . 80/20. . . 80% Alpha & 20 % Beta. That would be, in my opinion, the ideal, In any case a 60/40 split at a minimum. Personally I have found that going lower invites blowback.

My wife says I’m a jerk from time to time. When I am with her at her relatives, I make it a point not to answer or come running if she calls from another room. At home, I relax that rule slightly. I just take it as evidence, along with the lovey-dovey stuff, that she recognizes she doesn’t control me. Purchases over a certain amount she runs past me first. It is indeed a mater of balance and being the captain of the ship and not a purser there to fulfill every whim.

The ladies will love this post. The beta males will swoon. That tells you something.

The only problem with beta reassurances is that they are likely to be whispered in the ear of some distracted female who, at that very moment, is lost in her usual bad boy fantasia.

These little tips and tricks, these cutesy post-it love notes on the toilet seat, will have little more than the most perfunctory awww-how-cute effects, unless the male is already in the most complete command.

This one I give a decent amount of credit. I always refer to this as “classic pickup”. When girls wonder if your a “human” – really just vulnerable a little dose of this works wonders.

A corollary to “cold reading” in this context is actually just realizing life is pretty easy to pick out for people. Find something they are struggling with and take that away for a moment. Most of the time its money, obviously poor taste to go with that. My suggestion is exercise or diet. You’d be surprised how well a description of the benefits of what she just ate goes if you can describe it with certainty.

Of course a girl wants you to be safe at some point, she wants you to work for her for the rest of her life. ;PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Your girlfriend/wife is probably very happy. She has a man who’s really interested into female soul. Is there anything better than being with a guy who has so many amazing ideas about how to make a woman happy? 😥

hehe. your 300 points checking list of how to behave so you would be worthy of the attention of some little brainless chick. Fall of the western men at its best. Pitiable clowns that does not earn the name – MAN. Maybe if we could stay on our heads for 3 hours, or start crawling naked on your knees before her, it could realy help.

[heartiste: yes, it’s best if you just go stand in a corner, nursing your drink, proud of the fact that you are doing nothing to interest women. zay come to you, da!]

Women dont seem like they are genuinely attracted to beta males when they arent ovulating. At best they are just nonchalant toward them, and only seem to want a long term relationship with them for a chance to cheat with the alpha and have the chump beta raise the kid. Women seem to think like this- “Ugh im not attracted to this stupid beta but ill let him hit it once in a while if he provides for me and my bastard spawn.”

Beta provider game does have it’s uses. In my experience women who respond to this are the type of women I’m not really attracted to physically or psychologically, they tend to want a man they can control and use as an accessory rather than an actual companion. Your run of the mill social climbing girl tends to repulse me.

Also, I wouldn’t promote this to any men under 30 since most women in their age bracket will be uninterested in a guy who leaves notes lying around about the marvels of her beauty.

I guess my problem with this particular piece is a few things:

A) Just because a woman is not ovulating does not mean she loses attraction to alpha men, it just means she’s willing to consider a Beta Provider for his resources and willingness to be cuckolded.

B) This seems to focus on LTR’s and is game for men who are already in their midlife or older, It’s not applicable across the board like most other post.

C) Basically it’s trying to twist being a beta into an alpha (petting her cat…) The line needs to be delineated. This game can work, yes, On a very specific subset of women. Seems like the game asian chicks will respond strongly too. White,Latina,Black women will think you’re weak as fuck if you pull some of this shit(Under 30).

Your blog is great though, I’m a daily reader. Unfortunately, it seems I only comment when I disagree.

This post proves you’re pushing the boundaries of game science. In 50 years when mainstream psychology catches up to women’s psychology I hope there’s a chapter dedicated to BRG that attributes this post as it’s founding work.

This is sort of a relationship-angle version of push/pull. You need to be the asshole when the situation calls for it and also pull her in with emotional intimacy. And then, after the intimate moment, bust on her and mess with her again.

I rarely get my girls gifts, but I just got my main girl a Shit Bitch Bear for valentine’s day.

This is awesome, guys should pay close attention. As a guy who’s struggled with “intimacy (aka desire for pussy variety) issues” [<– this is fucking awesome, btw], I can attest to the value of all of this.

The off-the-cuff guidelines are gold.

Listen to him and don't be a one-trick pony. If you can provide all of the variety (alpha/beta) in one man, the girl will have little reason to jump ship.

This renewed focus on actual seduction techniques is very refreshing; I think this post is particularly insightful.

One thing you may have missed is the importance of reciprocity: if a chick sees you as Mr. Right, she’ll tolerate/expect a lot more than if she sees you as a practical way to end a dry spell. When a girl is extremely into you and you signal that you’re similarly into her, it helps form a strong bond; this can have really bad consequences if your interest evaporates after date number three, but keeping it up is the healthiest way to ensure emotional attachment.

Indeed, I’d be curious as to the Chateau’s thoughts on how to signal interest level, particularly for those who aspire to date several women concurrently. I tend to be extremely blunt and specific about what I want, but I doubt this solution always works. How do signal to a woman, “This is going to be fun for about three months, give or take” without saying it? Should one care? t For those of us who actually care about not hurting people, it would be useful to know how to signal to a woman what she can expect.

“For those of us who actually care about not hurting people”
You can’t hurt someone who doesn’t think you’re anything special; you can’t protect someone who doesn’t think you should move on.

Say it and move on. She accepts, she stays … she doesn’t, she leaves.
Why are men supposed to be direct with pursuit, and then expected to be coy about how long the relationship is supposed to last?
Don’t women want men “who know what they want”?

Yeah, I’ve seen the type.
Acts like you have to be a saint to talk to her, she shows mock horror and indignancy … while doing some of those behaviours herself, and high-fiving while speaking to her teeheehee friends about her exploits.
When Asian girls act like that, reminds me of when my Korean friends tell me the difference between aegyo and uhrigang.

She deserves nothing less than game, lots of it.
I pity the guy who finally marries her – he’s going to be taken for all he is worth.

wala – the line between going too far one way or another is hard to judge, especially with girls throwing out super IOI – who may or may not just be attention whores looking for validation, it turns out.

I found these to be ESFP Performer Types, Myers Briggs when I get to know them well enough to figure out their gen personality type.

For example,

I’ve got a 19 year old with the tightest fucking ass in the history of the universe (college student, cocktail waitress on side ) throwing all kinds of IOI at me. I’m mid thirties, married. Last two times this chick actually undoes her hair after she sees me, takes out of the pulled back bun, while she’s working the floor, throwing hair all over the palce for the rest of time I’m there. Giving me looks from across the room, playing with the ends of her hair when we chat. Remembers the exact two drinks I alternate between when she waits on probably 100 guys each week.

But then the other day she’s holding a look for 7 seconds as she’s walking by my table, with a slight smile. I hold the stare (never look away first, right?). Then, as she walks by me, she says “whaaat” like I’m crossing the line – like I’m creeping her out.

Before that I gave her the “we’re going to have to break up now” routine because she forgot to bring me a cocktail napkin. “we’ve been throigh so much togetehr and now you do this? ” She starts cracking up and going along with it. So her reaction was favorable.

So you think – what is the deal ? Crazy IOI’s, responding, heavy looks – and then she gives you a “what”

I’ve found that attention whores, especially ESFPs, get themselves into situations like this. Crazy IOI and then don’t want to take responsibility sometimes. They throw out IOI’s without knowing, or caring, waht they’re doing.

Sometimes they just want the validation. Or they flirt because she feels attraction, but then send mixed signals when you push the envelope because they don’t yet feel enough comfort.

She wants to make you supplicate for her attention. To moderate your behaviour so that she is the only one who can “put you in your place”.
Unless cops and criminals are involved, you can do as you please.
This whole idea of men being “bad” just because of things they say, is ridiculous and reminds me that sometimes girls have never left kindergarten “Teacher, that boy said something mean to me!”

I was just thinking a few hours ago I should expose my soft beta underbelly to the girl I’ve been dating for four months now. The Alpha has been quite strong with this one, so I figured contrast was needed.

I was going to surprise her and place roses on her doorstep, but opted to send her a text saying that I missed her and was excited for our next rendezvous.

She replied:

awww!!! I miss you too!! I’m soooo ready for some quality(spending lots and lots) of time with you.

Remember, anytime a girl responds with Awww or calls you sweet, she is feeling the beta and acknowledging your emotions. Making a woman emotional is an important part of LTR game, but don’t follow up with more beta (baubles, trinkets, flowers). Follow up with a good horsefucking.

This girl has been telling me she loves me for about a month and a half. The only time I feel I really love her back is when I’m inside her. After release I just hope she doesn’t confess those four-words to me, which she always does, then treacly agitates for commitment.

When she does confess her love for me I usually respond with, “You’re a good girl,” when she speaks of commitment, I say, “You’re earning my commitment.”

Seriously, though, as a married man I say don’t get too caught up in holidays. Skittles still work, forget Valentine’s Day altogether, and be nice, but not over the top. Also, flowers for no reason, I’m talking cheap not roses, is a panty moistener.

Attractive guy:
– gives her attention, then vanishes for a week
– forgets their anniversary, remembers her birthday
– slaps her around in bed, cuddles with her after
– spits in her face and chokes her in bed one night, lights candles and has sensual romantic sex the next
– makes fun of her shirt, tries to kiss her
– kisses her, then gets distracted and ignores her as he chats with his buddies
– forgets when they make special plans, surprises her with a nice dinner
– makes her feel like the only girl in the world, flirts with the waitress with the nice ass

Her emotions go: /\/\/\/\/

Boring guy:
– remembers every special occasion
– predictably buys gifts each time
– same sex over and over
– can always be counted on
– never leaves his girl’s side in public
– never flirts with other girls
– calls 10x a day to reassure her she’s The One

Her emotions go: ———

This is why being an asshole and even purposely pissing girls off as an opener works if you understand how to recover and balance it out. The chick doesn’t need to only feel good emotions she needs to feel ANY emotions.

That’s why Rhianna goes back to Chris Brown and the White Knights are baffled. He’s giving her /\/\/ not —— and her gina tingles.

I’d say the number one reason girls cheat on their significant others with me is because they’ve fallen into routine predictable couple “schedule it in if we have some free time and no DVDs to watch” sex.

Reading justin wayne’s blog and yareally’s reports about chicks with boyfriends made me skeptical and kinda jaded about this whole fuss around love.

Love is not enough to tame women’s hypergamy. It only takes a better natural or a well-trained smooth PUA, or any form of a bigger better alpha to make a woman in love sully her vows with her immoral lusty juices.

Even a perfect well-calibrated LTR AA/BR game is not enough. You can be a super alpha on a mission who rules the galaxy with his big swinging dick, and you can still get cheated on.

A good option is to live life on one’s terms. It doesn’t matter if she’s in love or not. And you can never trust a woman.
Never.

This…this is what makes me not envy men at all even though we women have the wall to deal with.

If we behave well, someone will love us forever and despite whatever circumstances he’s in.

…but if you behave well, we (generally) will leave you bleeding in the snow if someone says the right things to us.

It takes years of aging combined ill temper to lose a man who loves you. All it takes to lose a woman who loves you as most women understand love, is a better deal…more tingles or more money, depending on the woman’s orientation.

That’s why women and men are not going to have a meeting of the minds.
Women say they admire independent men, but at the same time live most of their lives in consensus with other women.
Women say they’re more loyal, but kick a good guy when he’s down.

All that behaviour is going to produce more of the men women want … and less of the men women SAY they want.

“If she’s a wifey prospect, you’d better get good at remembering her birthday and the time, temperature and cast of moonlight on the night when you first kissed.”

Wife Prospect = hot virgin who will suck & fuck like a champ, make your dinner, will love threesomes with chicks, doesn’t get batshit crazy on her period, never nags, doesn’t get mad if you forget the time & temp when you first kissed, never gets old, and comes with a 7-figure dowry = Non-Existent

When you’re a part of it, this is standard shit, when you’re not a part of it every girl will pretend to be an angel and pretend other girls are all angels. Certain guys will never ever know it exists. Most girls will only show their secret society side to the appropriate guys…so she’ll txt her BF “drive safe love you baby xoxoxo” and then seconds later txt a secret society guy “god I want your cock my pussy is so wet…”

The funniest to me is always that the girls are usually super horny when they start texting like that and I’ll be texting back like I’m super horny too and helping them get off but really I’m making a sandwich or playing Xbox at a buddy’s place or whatever.

The invention of texting was epic for guys with game. You can keep a girl horny for you all day long, thinking of your cock while she’s at work with nobody knowing which pays off in spades sexually when you hook up that night or if you go silent on her and suddenly stop texting for a few days. I make them send pics from their work bathrooms and tease them about “what would your co-workers think if they knew what a dirty little slut you were…I bet you love it.” and all that shit.

A lot of guys are like “texting is for pussies, real men call” blah blah. Those guys suck at txt game. I usually try to get a girl texting like Olivia Munn before our first date (txt em past 10pm when they’re in bed and turn the convo sexual vs texting friend zoney shit), that’s why I usually (sometimes I still need to build some face to face comfort, depends on her personality) don’t have to take them to restaurants or anything, our first “date” is them coming over horny as fuck since I laid the groundwork in advance.

Sometimes I’ll even make pretend plans to go to a fancy restaurant or whatever because I know I can just escalate fast and we’ll end up stayin in and I’ll save my $ lol

2. I can copy and paste texts to multiple bints my iphone. Effectively spending 2 minutes doing what would take me an hour if I were to call.

3. Women love it.

4. I can delay and perfectly time my texts.

5. The ambiguity of tone in a text is a beautiful thing for ramping up the hamster. (“What did he mean by that?” “Why are his texts so short?” “Was it something I did?” “Said?”)

6. Bints actually prefer to text these days and think you’re “weird” if you call (particularly young, cretinous, bints.)

7. My phone is now like a magic poon securing device. I just text the particulars of the service I like to a particular number and then, boom, the service will be waiting for me. Like a pizza. This is the future right now. Three hearty cheers for texting.

i used to dislike texting, but there’s simply no way around the fact that girls these days are glued to their phones 24/7 and the phone part is the least used function. lots of girls won’t even pick up when you try to call them, but they’ll respond to texts.

bottom line: be the guy who texts the girl a 8=============> as she is walking down the street bumping into people.

“7. My phone is now like a magic poon securing device. I just text the particulars of the service I like to a particular number and then, boom, the service will be waiting for me. Like a pizza. This is the future right now. Three hearty cheers for texting.”

lol’ed out loud

And ya, young chicks (18 to 22-ish) love txting. A phone call is weird to them. Even older cougar chicks are learning to do it and like it because it makes them feel like they’re hip and young keeping up with dating trends.

It’s a mindfuck to see that a lot of cougars are actually worse at spelling/grammar/punctuation than 18yos. Like wtf?

“The funniest to me is always that the girls are usually super horny when they start texting like that and I’ll be texting back like I’m super horny too and helping them get off but really I’m making a sandwich or playing Xbox at a buddy’s place or whatever.”

Haha…yeah, right. Trust me, when she’s sending those super-horny texts she’s painting her nails, reading a novel, or watching “Hoarders”. Sexting is a joke for women. It’s like…”Let’s see how far I can wind him up, while I think about what to make for lunch.” Usually resulting in the guy sending pics of his erect member, then his jizz, while I’m chatting to my roommate about what spices to put into the roasted veggies.

It’s happened with both alpha and beta guys. The betas are more pathetic about it, but sexting is just lame in general. Either way, I have sent some spectacularly filthy and descriptive texts in the past, but have literally *never* masturbated while doing so. Ever. I might have been mildly turned on when an alpha was involved, but no enough to take action, so to speak. It’s more amusing than anything else. The main reason to do it is to figure out what it is, specifically, that turns a guy on. You can learn a whole lot by what a guy wants to hear via text…

Granted…I didn’t realize that guys do the same thing. Pretty hilarious, really, to imagine two people sending wildly salacious messages and both being nonchalant about it. Sounds like an SNL skit or something.

Most girls will only show their secret society side to the appropriate guys…so she’ll txt her BF “drive safe love you baby xoxoxo” and then seconds later txt a secret society guy “god I want your cock my pussy is so wet…”

So…is this true? How do you know if your shnookum wookums is doing that? Just because your girl isn’t asking you to assrape her doesn’t mean taht she’s texting some other dude…does it?

From what I’ve seen. When they’re txting him. In front of me. After we’ve finished fucking and she’s trying to come up with an excuse for why she’s so late coming home.

Or when they txt me bits of their convos with their BFs to laugh at and then follow it with “god I want your cock so bad right now…”

Or when I’m fingering them while they’re on the phone shooting the shit with their BF as they blush trying not to sound strange on the phone as they cum.

It doesn’t mean if they’re not sexting you they’re definitely sexting someone else. But if your girlfriend isn’t sexting you…..that should be something you pay attention to in general for the health of your relationship.

I can’t tell you how to know but I can tell you why most guys WOULDN’T know: judgement.

When you’re with a significant other that you hope to secure a future, family, home, etc with you don’t want to scare them off. So girls will tone down their kinky desires because a lot of guys are prudish and lame and will judge them for saying Olivia Munn shit. Cause if they weird the guy out, he leaves and they just lost a perfect white-pickett future.

So they’ll sit there with a bunch of fucked up twisted My Secret Garden fantasies they think about during sex/masturbating but never get to really live them out.

Then along comes an alpha guy with game who’s just a fling. There’s no consequence to weirding him out so if he has tight sexual game and knows how to read what type of girl she is and get her sexting about her fantasies, and he gives off a clear non-judgmental vibe where she feels she can tell him anything and he wont think she’s a slut or freak, she’ll let it all hang out because it’s a safe space.

This is why my experiences tend to be a lot more fucked up than other guys who get laid a lot. A lot of naturals are just “I banged her doggy style man it was awesome” or don’t care about getting her off. I’m very specifically digging into the depths of her sexual nature and desires and helping her live out a lot of her fantasies society has made her feel ashamed of having.

The end result is her BF gets the “miss you babe I’ll be home soon xoxoxo” txts and I get the Olivia Munn stuff from the same girl. The BF will never ever ever know what his girl is truly like deep down, the way I do.

It’s like the Joker in Batman Begins when he talks about killing the cops with a knife and how in their final moments they show you who they really are so in a way he knows them better than their friends.

Part of why girls come back to me over and over and generally don’t sleep around once we’ve started hooking up is because they know its rare for a guy to be able to show them the sexual world I show them and once they’ve opened up those twisted dark parts of their mind they’ve been so scared to share with anyone, it’s such a relief that they don’t want to fuck things up with me because to get that amazing sex they crave they’d have to go through that scary confession stage again with another guy who might not be so tolerant of her kinks.

In the girls defense, they often legitimately love their man and really do want a future with him. They just aren’t sexually satisfied and don’t know how to bring the subject up with their S.O. or they’ve tried and have been snubbed or they’re just too scared to admit it to ANYONE (sometimes even themselves)…so they’re just taking care of the need on the side.

I could easily say “I’m now in love with you lets go to dinner” and give off enough provider vibe to make them leave their man but I don’t want that, I just want the sex. I like when they just come over in a sexy outfit, we fuck for a few hours, and she goes home. No date/couple stuff (I have a main girl for that).

So I’ll specifically say “you better not fall in love with me. This is sex only. If you break up with your guy you will never hear from me again.” and snuff that out every now and then. Keep my txting to only sexual conversations, no talking about how her day at work was or friends bullshit, and only see her max once a week and irregularly so I’m never a sure thing she can feel like she can rely on.

1) Don’t let the girl know much about you. They generally don’t know my last name, what I do for a living, my E-Mail address, Facebook name, anything past my address and phone number. Even those I wouldn’t give out if I didn’t have to, I’m tempted to get a second phone number just for chicks since a Google of it by an angry BF/husband will find all my info. Often I’ll have them put my name as Julie or something in their phone too, for prying eyes.

For one night stands I’ll often say my address to the cabby quietly and when we get to my place, distract them when we’re in the elevator with a makeout/etc. so they don’t pay attention to what floor we’re on, and I’ll distract them again as I open the door so they don’t pay attention to what apartment they’re going into lol If I’m super paranoid (ie – their guy is a big jealous dude) I’ll walk them down in the morning and distract them again in the elevator.

Regular chicks have to know my address because I don’t have a car, don’t have money for a hotel room, and don’t want to travel to get laid (not to mention if they live with their BF/husband I don’t want to shit in his territory), so it’s necessary for them to know how to get to my place.

One regular fuckbuddy was like “I just realized that if I lost my phone or my BF made me delete your number or something I’d have no way to get in touch with you again.” lol

2) Don’t go out in public with her, and if you do, keep things casual and friendly until you have 100% assurance that her guy isn’t around, or going to be around, or COULD be around, and that none of her friends are around. This means passing up the lay sometimes. Safety first though. Her nosy best friend comes back from the bathroom and sees the two of you making out and it’s drama-city and the beautiful secret tryst you guys had going implodes.

If you’re certain her guy isn’t around (like he’s out of town…if he’s “out with his boys”, there’s a chance his boys will happen to decide to drink at the same bar you’re groping his girlfriend at) and her friends either don’t know him or don’t care if she cheats (a girl’s BFF will often not care because she’s seen her friend cheat before and they’re BFFs 4evAR), still be cautious about it. I like to build the sexual tension by keeping kino minimal while we blab or dance, but as soon as it’s crowded enough around us that no one’s paying attention or if the place is dead enough that I can sneak her into the bathroom, then let loose. A good one is to set up a roleplay where you pretend not to know eachother then meet up in the bathroom or outside in an alley and fuck eachother’s brains out, then go back inside pretending not to know eachother.

Ideally though, keep things to the bedroom. Have other girls who aren’t taken that you can go out with or go out with your boys. This girl is just for sex, she already has a boyfriend she can go out with.

3) Don’t see her more than once a week. She’ll get attached and start thinking stupid thoughts about ditching her boy and living happily ever after with you.

4) Don’t do romantic shit. No watching movies cuddled up together, no chit-chatting about her day at work. Every conversation is heavily sexual and every meet-up instantly turns to sex. Cuddle if you want after so she doesn’t feel like a slut, but cut it short and let her know it’s time for her to go.

And don’t get sucked up in her drama. She’ll try to get you to White Knight her a bunch (the correct response to “omg if my BF found out he’d kill me…he hit me once you know…” is “when are you coming over?”). You aren’t a part of her world, you aren’t a part of that drama. Stay away.

5) Dig for as much information on her boy as possible from her. If you can see her name when he txts, awesome, Google it and see what you can dig up. If she mentions his job, where he likes to drink, anything, memorize it. Girls are stupid and secretly love the drama of almost getting caught so they’ll do shit like walk you past where their guy works or invite you out but then when you see her go “my BF came out too sorry pretend we don’t know eachother” etc. If you find a pic of the guy online or something, fucking awesome. Might save your life.

6) It helps if you have a girlfriend yourself, or just let them know that you’re a player or unavailable for some other reason. Snuff out any fantasy that you two could be a “thing” beyond fucking. You are way more attractive than her boy to her because you’re the sexy mysterious fling side guy, so she’s going to start picturing that you two could be together if she just gets caught and her boy leaves her.

7) Call him her “boy” and never call him by his name lol AMOG/psyche language thing. It just helps re-enforce in her mind that he’s a “boy” (not a “man”) and avoiding his name just helps keep you distanced from her world. Like if you went “so how was Bob’s soccer game?” you might as well be one of their friends. Distance distance distance.

8) Bitch her out HARDCORE if she slips up at all. Which she will. Because girls are stupid with this stuff. They don’t realize that some guys will kill another guy for fucking his girl. They get off on the drama of almost getting caught or actually getting caught. So they’ll do stuff like not delete their message history or txt when they’re in bed with their BF beside them and just tilt the screen away from him (“sarah’s just telling me about this guy she met”) etc.

If she fucks up at all, ream her out HARD, even if she doesn’t get caught. Withdraw emotionally, take away all the fun sexy vibe you normally give her, act super paranoid and angry like she doesn’t understand your safety, make her think she’s going to lose you, then finish it all off with “which would suck ’cause we have such a good thing going on…I’d hate for it to have to end :(”

You let her slip up once or twice without bitching her out and she’ll just keep slipping up until she actually gets caught.

10) Don’t ever send her pictures that can identify you. Even if you guys are sexting or whatever. If you take a pic of your dick to send her, take it standing in front of a blank wall and make sure none of the rest of your body is in it, but ideally don’t even do that. Don’t let her take any pictures of the two of you. Any sex stuff you record/photograph is done with YOUR camera/phone, not hers. You are the invisible man.

11) If you guys get into really rough stuff, record her agreeing to it. Try not to leave bruises/marks she can’t hide. If she goes home with unexplained marks and can’t hide them and her boy sees them, she’ll get caught.

12) Use protection. If you pass her an STD and she passes it to her boy, she’s fucked. If you get her pregnant she’ll tell you that “you won’t have to worry about it” and if her and her boy’s relationship is heading toward marriage she’ll have the baby expecting to get away with him raising it as his own. Cool, except if the guy gets a paternity test and says “fuck off bitch” and runs, you are now a dad paying child support for 18 years. This relates to #13.

13) Understand that she WILL throw you under the bus without hesitation if shit hits the fan. 100%. It doesn’t matter how much she likes you, she will ALWAYS put herself first. ALWAYS. She will tell her boy that she was raped, she will tell her boy your name and address and everything if he’s pissed off and demands them. She will lie about how often you did stuff together. She’ll say you got her drunk and took advantage of her. She’ll do anything to pass the blame onto you instead of her so she can try to salvage her relationship.

14) Don’t txt during the weekend or evenings, basically when you know he could be around. Txting during the day is usually safer because she’s at work and can txt you with no problems. Chicks are stupid and if their phone goes “BLEEP BLOOP: TXT FROM BOB JONES – MSG: Hey sexy what you…” you risk her boy seeing it.

15) Don’t talk smack about her boy. She’ll bitch to you about him, and you’ll be tempted to laugh/agree with the stuff she says, but scold her for it instead or just change the subject. If you encourage that talk, you’ll encourage her considering leaving him, and then she’ll break up with the guy, say she loves this Other Man, and he’ll be hell-bent on finding out who you are and you’ll have an annoying clingy girl on your ass who’s expecting you to swoop her up in your arms now that she’s single and if you don’t, she’s gonna be pissed at you and want her guy to find you and there you are, under the bus where she threw you.

I’ve only had one close call with a boyfriend who wanted to kill me. The rest have no idea I existed and that their girlfriends/wives did things with me that they’ve begged her to let them do to her for years.

Ideally you should just go after single girls instead, it’s a lot less hassle. But when you go for the hotter girls you’ll find that hot girls almost ALWAYS have a boyfriend or are at least “dating” someone…they might not even like the guy, they just don’t want to be seen as weird not having a boyfriend. And there’ll be a dozen guys who THINK they have dibs on being her boyfriend. So it’s like, what’s better, play it safe and fuck an average single girl or take the risk and fuck the really hot one behind her BFs back?

16) Don’t let her meet your friends or be a part of your social circle in any way. Your friends are stupid and don’t understand the situation and what a tightrope you’re walking. They just literally have no concept that one seemingly okay comment or action of theirs can set off a butterfly effect that destroys a marriage, gets the girl killed, gets you killed, removes a father or mother from their child’s life, etc. like these aren’t pretend or exaggerated stakes here.

Don’t refer to her by name if you do talk about her to them and if they were with you when they met her make them delete her number, tell them to forget about her and that they’ll never see her again, and if any of them picked up or got a number from any of her friends, make him delete the number and let him know that girl is off limits (or back off 100% from your girl, delete her number and avoid her etc, if you want to let your friend have his girl).

I’ve had situs where buddies are like “are you bringing Sally out? Her friend Helga texted me and says they’re gonna be at ThatBar tonight! We should go there!” and I’ve had to give him the speech and make him understand the situ and why that wasn’t going to happen. He already had a girlfriend so the obvious move was him backing off. If he was hard up for a lay I’d let him have the friend and back off my girl.

We happened to meet these girls as a group and I knew mine was taken but he had the best intentions and steamrolled them into coming back to our place to party after, just trying to wingman for me. But that just got too many people involved so I had to play it cool and eventually kick them out. He asked how I would’ve wanted to handle it instead (he’s learning a bit of game) and I told him because she was taken I would have just grabbed her # secretly and arranged a meet via txts with neither her friends nor mine having any idea we were even keeping in touch.

This is a little over dramatic and controlling but it’s the best for everyone involved in the situation because you’re the one with game who understands the psychology involved in all the balls being juggled in the air. Your friends are well-meaning but clumsy.

There are no secrets and there is no magic. Secrets and magic are words that *salesmen* use.–

Here’s something so surprising it might as well be a secret: most men, especially intelligent men of the educated class, don’t really care about fucking very much at all. They get horny and they want to off, sure, but they’re not obsessed with the act. Most men want a cute steady girlfriend. The player and the lecher are rare types indeed.

Most guys who are obsessed with fucking, esp. with fucking women who cheat, are often guys who were burnt by their first girl, their first love, and these disabused AFC’s soon become addicted to the very mild power trip of fucking girlfriends and wives. These guys grind it out and turn chicks over fast because they need perpetual reassurance that they still possess their secret knowledge and secret powers.

In truth it takes very little to fuck a girl who’s ready to cheat on her boyfriend and even less to fuck a wife who wants same. They put themselves out there, true low-hanging fruit, and players sometimes imagine that they scooped up these sluts with superpowers — but these sluts were going to make some dude a superhero in any case. It’s no big deal; it’s nothing.

I don’t fuck girls with boyfriends or married women. Too sleazy and too easy. Fucking some girl while she talks to her boyfriend on her cell is low-level action.

What’s funny is when the deluded player fails to realize he’s the prop in a cuckold scene.–

If I fuck her like any other guy fucks her, she doesn’t care if she loses me or not, so she’s more likely to be sloppy with keeping us a secret and get caught because who cares if I get my ass kicked and we can’t hook up anymore, I’m the same as any other guy.

But if I fuck her in ways that make her fantasize about me 24/7 and rock her world sexually more than any other guy has ever rocked her world, she’s going to be a lot more careful with keeping our relationship discreet because now it would be an actual loss to her if we got caught.

Never been burned by a girl, I just like sex. Never said taken women were difficult, there just happens to be a lot of them out there. Hell, a lot of them won’t even mention they have a BF/husband until after we fuck. Never gave a shit about any power trip, it’s about her and I and our sexual chemistry, not about “I’m so pimp look at me put one over on that dude, lol I’m getting revenge on so many people right now for my tortured life!!1111”

The shittiness of their relationship is between them, it’s not my concern. I know I’m the prop and I’m fine with it.

You won’t be able to understand that though, since you’re clearly an intelligent man of the educated class who’s too busy riding around on his White Horse throwing bolts of judgement at others to care about fucking.

definitely true. i’ve seen both sides, once when i beta’d too hard and it ended with some fairly explicit sex texting on her part to another dude, and multiple times with married/LTR chicks coming over to fuck and then catch a cab back home to their partners afterwards.

can’t say I ever took a dump on any of them tho hehe
there’s always a next time

vlad03 i think you only bring this out when you’ve left the friend zone already.

it’s also a decent way to get out of a clingy relationship while learning some calibration. want to lose a girl? over-beta and she’ll leave on her own, and you can learn the point at which application of brg is too much.

normally when you’re truly indifferent, i’m sure guys have noticed, the girl is suddenly totally into you. frustrating because that’s what you wanted when she actually was into you. so instead stave that off with being a ‘nice guy’ and then move on with a nice amicable breakup.

This is where the nice-guy’s oneitis is also player confidence:
Concentrating all his efforts on one girl …
means he is indifferent to all other girls.

Which is also one reason why women hate guys who complain about trying to get the attention of another girl:
I’m thinking they’re scared his indifference is going to attract them to him.
A guy interested in another girl, is someone they can’t manipulate.

Very good post. I like the balance. In an LTR, yes we do like a little “snoogumwoogums,” and we will continue to like it for many years unless it becomes predictable.

The little painted rock (yes, I said, “painted rock!”) that WolfAlpha picked up at the gun show, and the “dandelion” he carved by peeling a twig from the yard, are treasures to me.

Don’t doubt for a minute that he is in charge – after 24 years, I sure don’t. He has never been subservient to me, and has only rarely shown weaknesses, but I enjoy the occasional little reminders that he likes me.

By all means, Mix. It. Up. It keeps us slightly off balance in the best way.

Many students that begin to have success with game often error by too much AAG. It’s important to remember that the attraction phase of PU is short- less than 3minutes.

Whether you are able to continue game process at the point of initial contact or have to time-bridge to a day2 (first date) it is key to remember that you are in the COMFORT stage and flashes of BRG are necessary.

As a guideline Mystery mentions that comfort building usually requires 4 to 10 hours before seduction can be successful (mitigate LMR). Thats 4 to 10 hours face to face time.

During this mid-game is where the art of balance between AAG and BRG is needed relative to your target’s responsiveness. Many beta men, even good looking men blow themselves out by going into excessive mis-calibrated cocky/qualifying over emphasized attraction routines because they have misread that the target is *already* attracted and they should now be focusing on adding dimensions to their personality and genuinely (or manipulatively, heh) building a connection.

Contrast the above with a sprinkle of random asshole spikes of making fun of fat/ugly people in proximity, a light neg, fleeting eyes of disinterest in her stories, calling her a dork, telling her she bought her clothes at Walmart……..and voila! She’ll think “I just can’t figure this guy out??? He’s charming but so critical but sometimes he’s sweet but he’s also a dick I just can’t tell if he likes me…”

PUAs have already broken this part of the game down cause back when they were running wild with cocky/funny stuff they started running into girls flaking on them and lower value girls (like 7s and down) disqualifying themselves from getting with them, and just in general a lot more “you’re a player, aren’t you” challenges.

The prob was that they were too smooth and too flawless and the girls couldn’t find any faults so they just assumed they were missing something and would either challenge right away, take themselves out of the running for his attention, or just flake when they had too much time to think.

The reason we don’t really focus on this with newbies is because is the problem with Nice Guys that they aren’t nice enough? Fuck no. They’re already dying to reject game and having to be an alpha/asshole so if you give them an inch and say “well you can buy a drink or remember her birthday” they take a mile and go “oboy!! See?? I can keep being a nice guy like I wanted to!! The PUAs SAID I can buy her drinks!!” and they don’t get anywhere.

Once you’ve burned all that shit out of your head and replaced it with assholishness, THEN you can go back and start adding little dabs of your nice guy treatment in there.

Getting good with girls is a long process, it’s not something you change overnight. You have to cross into a lot of extremes outside your comfort zone, make an ass of yourself, learn where the boundaries are, then pull back and settle somewhere in the middle between where you started and the extreme. This is why most PUAs (myself included) come off as social retards when they start out learning game. They’re over-negging, over-peacocking, over-energetic, over-approaching, over-gaming, over-DHVing, over-AMOGing, etc.

Down the road you pull it back because you learn to calibrate, but giving newbies even a glimmer of hope that they don’t have to do a massive psyche overhaul is just giving them an excuse to clutch onto. Pop their lifeboat and make them swim, they’ll thank you for it when they get to shore.

that is correct. he would certainly not alpha – this all stuff is BETA to its core. Alpha really do not give a damn about you in his core. he does not need you – he just want you as long as you are a bonus to the quality of his life. But you can still manipulate him due to his ego, etc., provided that you are exclusive enough. The questuion is how long you manage to stay exclusive for alpha 🙂 You simply …can´t, believe me 🙂

So, the dynamic is as follows – chicks are clowning for alphas and betas are clowning for chicks. Neither of them has too much chance to succeed in the long term. Beta gets sucked, manipulated and used by chicks – I do know a couple of husbands – dog has better life than them. Chicks got fucked, bumped and dumped by alpha with no commitment extracted from him. Again, not very pleasant route.

Heartiste (or others), can you please clarify your usage of the word “aloof?”

From a cursory reading of this blog, you seem to use the term aloof to mean indifference, especially emotionally, to outcomes; disinterested as opposed to uninterested. Terseness of language. Almost just not giving a fuck.

I’ve come to associate aloofness with the shy kid in the back of the class who doesn’t speak unless spoken to. In a more adult setting, this could be a man in a bar who stares at the TV or into his drink without interacting with the other patrons. Or in a more social setting, one who doesn’t volunteer a lot of information or feeling about his life (i.e. he is “reserved.”)

Obviously, sitting quietly at the end of the bar talking to nobody, man or woman, won’t get women swooning all throughout the room. Maybe it could trigger a litte intrigue, if he doesn’t look depressed, but it seems highly unlikely that the women will approach him.

So where do you draw the line between these two? What is a proper definition?

«a little tiring to have to calculate how you behave based on another person’s hormonal/menstrual cycle?»

That’s the entire PUA story: to get laid one has to learn a lot of finesse, to give a girl, on the knife edge between desire and fear, exactly the right dosage of both for a gina-tingle fix.

It takes a lot of practice to build effortless intuition on how to deliver exactly what she craves.

As the Heartiste has said many times, to get laid with a woman one has to turn on a woman, no matter how bizarre or complicated the behavior needed to achieve that.

«How can you be in love if you can’t be yourself?»

The impression one gets from the success of “game” is that most women don’t care at all about the “in love” side, only about having their gina-tingle fixes. As another “game” blogger wrote, solipsism seems to be standard.

“It takes a lot of practice to build effortless intuition on how to deliver exactly what she craves.”

I think a lot of non game types get hung up on this including the “well you’re just putting all this effort into learning what the girl wants so that’s supplicating” MRA and feminist types.

They don’t seem to understand that ya, you go through that phase, but you internalize it and it becomes effortless (“unconscious competance”) the same way you don’t think about walking or brushing your teeth.

I can generally tell a ton of things about a girl just from a quick interaction. How she’s be in bed, what kind of kinks she has, how experiences she probably is, what kind of men she responds to, what kind of personality makes her wet, if she’s frigid and boring, if she’d cheat on her hubby etc.

I don’t have to sit down and make a checklist…it’s just an instant effortless thing now. Radar just pings off certain things even if I’m just watching a waitress talking to a customer on a Tuesday afternoon.

Good post. For all the haters, take a look at Facebook. You’ll notice more than a few profile pics of girls, “in a relationship”, with their significant other in some loving/gay/beta photo. Note romantic comedies (they all have pretty much the same plot). Also keep in mind that women do a lot of other shit besides think about sex all the time…and most of that shit requires money. Long story short, other than the initial impression, you better have a dynamic personality that is more than aloof and indifferent.

I have been with more than a couple girls who well into the sexual relationship have reassurance-shit-tested with “I think you only want to have sex with me.” It’s a tough shit-test because its real easy to default to knee-jerk beta reassurance. You have to find a way to ease their anxiety, while maintaining alpha cred.

[heartiste: a good way to pass that particular shit test:

HER: “I think you only want to have sex with me.”
YOU: (mockingly throw your arms up, then drop your head into your chest, as if you’ve just been busted) “damn, you got me. i can’t deny it, all i want is sex. sex for breakfast, sex for lunch, sex for dinner.” (heavy, exaggerated sigh) “i need professional help. will you help… oh god here come the tears… make me a better man?”]

The only distinction I would make with CH’s post is that I’m not sure I would categorize these pair-bonding techniques as Beta. I think they are actually a more refined and difficult aspect of Alpha or Natural game when executed correctly. When executed poorly, they are Beta but a girl will cut you some slack with beta behavior when its socially acceptable.

Good post. AAG can also be detrimental in the early stages for betas who are overcompensating and don’t understand that some sweetness has to be there initially to charm the woman. They read “being an a****** is the way to get women” on the internet and fail utterly because the reality is more nuanced than that. Being straight a****** right out of the gate will set off her a******-o-meter right away and remind her of the bad feelings of the guys who pumped and dumped her. Usually if you watch players work their game, they are all sweetness and promises early on, and hint at LTR possibility.

Interestingly, this is much the same as the way antisocial personality disorder works. These are the most charming people in the world, and yet totally insincere on following through with their promises. They make people feel understood and loved and valued (in a f***ed up way), which is part of what makes them keep chasing that high.

[heartiste: sounds like an applicant description for President of the United States of America.]