Saturday, April 02, 2011

Time and Thoughtfulness

I want to give a 'shout out' to some of my fellow employees at Vita.

Friday was scheduled for us to have games that had the purpose of bringing us all together to learn more about the work going on in the agency. We had to enter as teams and I immediately began to worry. A lifetime of being last chosen for teams made me leery - not so much of losing, I'm OK with that - but inflicting the certainly of loss on an unsuspecting partner, that didn't seem fair. Too, I worried about the games themselves. I'm in a wheelchair, would I be able to participate in all the activities? Yep, that's me, believing somehow that worry is the best solution to every concern.

About an hour before the games were to begin one of the organizers knocked on my door and asked to come in. I had just finished something on the computer so I said, 'yeah, absolutely.' She sat down and said, 'I'd like to talk about the games. There is one game, Musical Chairs, that we want to adapt so that you can play.' It was all very matter of fact. I made the obvious joke (just because it's obvious doesn't mean you don't make it) that I'm going to win every game of Musical Chairs I'm in because, I'm already in the chair. OK, not so funny. But she smiled, and continued.

They had come up with a very clever way of adapting the game so that I could play and, not only that, play equally with just as much a chance of winning as anyone else. We then discussed where it was to happen and how my chair would be accommodated so that I'd have lots of room to move. Discussion finished, adaption done, it was near time to start the games.

Everyone gathered in the board room and there was lots of laughter and lots of banter, teams were taunting each other. It was terrific the spirit was high. When it came to our turn to take on another team in Musical Chairs, the adaption was made quick and easy with no big fuss about it. We played. And, of course, I was out in the first round. But I lost because the music stopped when I was in the wrong place, not because the adaption was unfair or made the results biased.

I left feeling totally and completely a part of the life of the agency I work for. I left feeling that the attitudes of those around me made it clear that I was included and involved. I didn't have to ask for consideration, it was freely given. I didn't have to sit aside and watch others play, my involvement was also a given. It took nothing but time and thoughtfulness - the two 'tees' of an inclusive and accessible environment.

This taught me something - I learned that inclusion is an act of will. That's all it is. Nothing more. Nothing less. And where there is a will ... there is always a way.

Hi Anon, what they did was clear out all the chairs, leaving room for me to get around in mine. They made three placemats (there were four playing) and positioned them, spread far apart, around the same table that we were using for the traditional Musical Chairs. Then as we all went round when the music stopped the winners were the first to touch one of the placemats. Then they removed another making two, then another making one. It worked exactly the same way as Musical Chairs but instead of sitting, you slapped out for the placemat. It was lots of fun. I hope I've described it properly.

Dave - There is an old saying- "it is not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game that matters." Kudos to the games coordinator who figured out how to adapt the game so all may play the game equally. Sorry you were eliminated in the first round, but it sounds like at least you had fun!I wonder though, why everyone didn't play the same version that you did (unless the modified version would have been harder for some other participants.)

Your post tells me about belonging. Everyone belongs. We all make it happen - an act of will motivated by the sense of belonging. I would love to work in such a place!!!

This week at my work I heard about people being ridiculed by their support workers and people being yelled at by their support workers. So the first act of inclusion is to make that stop - we're gonna try! send us prayers and good vibes!

Anon, I would not have liked it if they changed the entire game for everyone. I preferred an adapted version for myself. I didn't feel centered out as it was done without fanfare. I would have felt very uncomfortable if the game was changed for everyone else - although others might feel differently. I think I would have felt more centered out if everyone was thining 'oh, this is adapted for Dave' on every round. I think we need to be careful not to inject negativity into another person's positive experience. The post was about my feeling of inclusion, not exclusion, at least that's what I tried to write.

Hey Dave, I just have to say that we are using your books in our foundations of community support and skill development class's and they are AMAZING! So much inspiration and passion comes from between the pages of your books!!

I was really excited to see that you had a blog, as I am a blogger as well!

Anyways, thank you for making this very challenging semester a lot brighter!! :)

The two chief methods of inclusion are will and imagination...and devotion to people's feelings;Our three chief methods of inclusion are will, imaginationan and devotion to people' feelings ...and readiness to change;Our four...

Dave, it's a reference to the Monty Python "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" sketch. The script is available here; scroll down to "Our chief weapons are..." to reach the part Noisyword was playing with.

Thanks for explaining Lexica :)I have been brought up in a family of Python fans so the quote just popped in my head when I was thinking about how much forethought goes into making the act of inclusion truly inclusive :)Dave, I'll give you a thumbs up anyway for having a brilliant blog

cookie consent

In the real world there should never be an issue regarding consent and cookies, particularly chocolate chip. However, I have been informed that I need to inform you about cookies that may be involved somehow with this blog and with Blogger. I an in my mid sixties and don't really know what cookies are .... here is something from the notice I got:

Google uses of certain Blogger and Google cookies, including use of Google Analytics and AdSense cookies.

So be aware of that, and I am assuming implied consent because you know that and come back. Of course, you may choose not to come back. This is why I'm suggesting implied consent. I tried finding a proper code for announcing this and couldn't. I hope you come back, and I hope you occasionally have a real world cookie, especial on days that are raining ... or sunny ... or cloudy ...

Disability Pride

Dedication

About Me

Joe and I live in an apartment right smack dab in the center of Toronto. I have worked in the field of disability since graduating from university over 30 years ago. I became disabled a few years ago now and use a wheelchair when out in the world. For those interested, most of my books are available through www.diverse-city.com and if you are wishing to book a lecture or consultation you may do so by emailing daveandjoe@hotmail.com

Best Health Blog 2010

Requiem

There are those who have affected the course of my work and my career. I wish to remember them here:

Stella Young

Manuela Dalla Nora

Bob Clayton

Viktor Frankl

Robert Sovner

Marsha Forrest

Terry Haslam

John Money

Susan Tough

Sol Gordon

Winnifred Kempton

I believe that we should speak often and well of those who passed our way and whose lives gifted us. Here in this space I wish to memorialize those whose lived lives in service to those with disabilities.