Ok, so Eric loves shelf stable, no refrigeration required fake-jello cups... there is no accounting for taste. I sent him to the grocery store for toilet paper or something last Friday and he came home with 4 six packs (yes 24 cups!!!) of fake-jello. Fake-jello was not on the shopping list, but he is an adult and I simply cannot supervise his every action.

Anyway, tonight I found an empty fake-jello cup downstairs with no evidence of a spoon nearby. I asked Eric if he had eaten the fake-jello without a spoon. He mumbled something about silverware being unnecessary. I told him that he was turning into the raccoons HE insists on feeding.

Eric and I then began wondering just HOW a raccoon would eat a fake-jello cup. Would a raccoon stick his whole face into the goo? Would he poke his paws in and fish out the pineapple chunks? Would he overturn the cup, scoop out the contents and then lick the mess... I mean mass? Given that it was evening at our house, it was not hard to find a couple of experimental test subjects outside.

Eric unwrapped a fake-jello cup and put it out on our deck. He came back inside the and we watched as both raccoons entirely ignored it. Eric started making pathetic excuses for why the raccoons were ignoring his fake-jello. He indulged in experimenter bias and actually went back outside to move the fake-jello cup closer to the raccoons. Then he came back inside and we watched and waited... and waited... and waited... Finally the raccoons came up to the cup, sniffed it and walked away.

Raccoons (who eat GARBAGE, mind you) are smart enough to recognize that fake-jello is not actually a FOOD!!!!

The raccoons have left for the evening and the fake-jello cup is still out there, untouched... unattended... forsaken... forlorn... I'd better go upstairs now and keep Eric from going out on the deck to eat it - without a spoon!

... Raccoons (who eat GARBAGE, mind you) are smart enough to recognize that fake-jello is not actually a FOOD!!!!

The raccoons have left for the evening and the fake-jello cup is still out there, untouched... unattended... forsaken... forlorn... I'd better go upstairs now and keep Eric from going out on the deck to eat it - without a spoon!

Thanks for a beautiful example of proof of junk food!

(And a romantic setting for a real world science experiment! :-) )

And welcome to the forums.

Perhaps the junk food was so alien to the subjects that they didn't recognise that it was meant to be eaten.

Could it be that the Human subjects have been so conditioned by Marketing that they are now capable of being convinced to eat plastic and even use another form of plastic to actually PAY for the Marketing induced 'pleasure'?

A triumph of Marketing manipulation and cheap chemicals over nutrition?

Jell-o, the real thing, is just a fake, anyway. Just sugarwater. I don't waste my time to eat those empty calories. If I'm thirsty I just put my glass under the faucet and turn it on. On weekends I have a couple of beers.

Ok, so Eric loves shelf stable, no refrigeration required fake-jello cups... there is no accounting for taste. I sent him to the grocery store for toilet paper or something last Friday and he came home with 4 six packs (yes 24 cups!!!) of fake-jello. Fake-jello was not on the shopping list, but he is an adult and I simply cannot supervise his every action.

...

Hey Angela and welcome to the boards. Nice RAC you have there. ;-D

No, men do come home with weird items when we send them out to buy useful things for the household. Been there, experienced that, and no, it's not worth the efforts to try to supervise them, they do what they want anyway. ;-D

Please come and keep us with company often, we have a great community here. :-)

As you can see, we are on day four. The contents have been explored, but not consumed. Even the ants seem to be rejecting fake-jello. There has been no observable oppossum, squirrel, skunk, feral cat, bird, rat or mouse action as well.

In all fairness to Eric, I do not think we can conclude anything definitive about his sum-total cognitive capacity based on a food sample size of one. I therefore propose that, in the interest of science, we test a variety of questionable foods. Please suggest items. I will place said items before Eric and before raccoons and keep you updated on the results.

I'll send over some genuine White Castle hamburgers from NYC. It will be a test of skill. Will Eric be able to control himself? Will the raccoon make it 10 feet without leaving a trail? Will Angela laugh herself silly in the process? (And what of Naomi?)

For those of you unfamiliar with the White Castle hamburger, they're about 2 inches square, steamed in onion juice and served with ketchup, pickles and chopped onions on a seedless bun. The taste is unlike anything you've ever eaten but they are guaranteed to cause a significant increase in gastric pressure.

At 49 cents they're the cheapest laxative in the world that works in 15 minutes. Our raccoons love them. Just stay upwind.