Mike Tyson has spent the last several months performing in a one-man multimedia stage show about his life, and it goes by the rather ordinary name of Undisputed Truth. The routine debuted in Vegas, hit Broadway, and is now fanning out across the country to bring all the drama of the Tyson saga to a town near you. It's a little like Les Miserables with facial tattoos.

"Boxing, bitches, babies, and lawsuits [is what I wanted to call it], but my wife and attorney just freaked out, you know, because that's so politically incorrect. ‘Mike, you're bashing babies like you had babies without planning them. You wish you didn't have your babies,'" Tyson says they told him.

"I said, ‘No, I do love my babies. That's all I did all my life. All I did was fight, fornicate, and go to court.' That's all I did! That's all the hell I did!" Tyson exclaimed.

"I fought, I fornicate, and I went to court. And I got sued and went to jail on certain occasions, you know - one occasion, prison.

"Pretty exciting, but it really sucked on the emotional tip," Tyson conceded.

There doesn't seem to be a working definition for what it means to suck on the emotional tip, but we assume Tyson means the thrill of all that fighting, fornicating, and going to court resulted in too much negative emotion. Know what else sucks on the emotional tip? A barnstorming, one-man Mike Tyson act called Undisputed Truth. But that same routine with all those same gags having a working title like Boxing, Bitches, Babies, and Lawsuits? We might have actually gone to see that.