I don’t know if you saw the news yesterday (you were probably busy, it’s FINE, no no, we get it), but Cadillac has decided that the 550-horsepower CT6 V-Sport, which was supposed to sort of be a diet version of Cadillac’s full-fat high-performance “V” line, is now just going to be called a full-on CT6-V. That sounded fishy to me.

Mark Reuss, executive vice president and president of GM Global Automotive Group and Cadillac, told Autoblog that “as a result of the overwhelming response the CT6 V-Sport received when revealed in early 2018, we’ve decided to formally make it a V-Series, signaling the expansion of V-Series.”

Which sounds precisely like how I run my life. “Oh, yeah, I was going to write an incredible 5,000-word blog on the meaning of life, but then I wrote 300 words about a random Cadillac and I thought that’ll be fine instead! So this is your blog now.” It was a little suspicious, is what I’m saying.

So I emailed Cadillac to confirm my suspicions.

“I have a theory about why the CT6 V-Sport is now just the CT6-V, please confirm,” I began. “Was there going to be another CT6-V with like 600+ horsepower but it got canceled but someone was like ‘but we need a CT6-V!’ and then someone else was like ‘well the CT6 V-Sport already has 550 hp that’s plenty just make that the V and it’ll still be a good car and fine for our purposes’ and that’s what happened?” I asked.

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A Cadillac spokesperson was quick to respond.

“I can confirm that theory is incorrect,” he said.

So there you have it. GM is not running Cadillac like I run my life. This is totally what they intended to do from the very beginning.