Exposing Spiritual Abuse

Tag Archives: Christian Deliverance Ministries

Talk to any Christian wife who’s become aware of her husband’s bondage to porn, and you will encounter a woman who is cut to the core knowing that when she is intimate with her husband, there are “unseen” others in the marriage bed with them. A husband’s porn addiction is spiritually abusive to his wife, no two ways about it!

Husbands may not realize just how emotionally and spiritually damaging this is to the bond between the two of them. You see, fantasizing during sexual intimacy with your wife is the same as adultery! Husbands may not realize that this action breaks the intimate bond between the two of them. It’s adultery, and adultery is a deal breaker.

Christian men…if you are laboring under the bondage of being addicted to pornography, I urge you to take steps immediately to get set free. However, you must want to be free. Cry out to the LORD JESUS for the “want to” …if need be. If men even half way realized how damaging porn is to their spiritual lives…as well as their marriages, they would RUN to the LORD for deliverance!

If you or someone you love is struggling with a porn addiction, take these steps to freedom…

1. Spill your guts. The first step toward repentance is honesty, and it must be brutal. To repent means to turn 180 degrees, so this decision cannot be half-hearted. It’s not enough to whisper a quiet prayer under your breath. To break free from a life-controlling habit as powerful as porn, you must talk to someone else. And you should do it sooner, not later.

James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed” (NASB). I have prayed with many guys about their porn addictions, and they have testified that the power of their sin broke the moment they admitted it. Sit down with someone (preferably a more mature Christian you know and trust) and put all your cards on the table. If you humble yourself, God will give you grace to change.

2. Get ruthless. Sin is deceitful. It loves to make up excuses such as, “No one knows about your habit, so it’s not hurting anyone,” “I deserve this little treat” or “I can play with fire and not get burned.” Don’t believe the lies. Esau sold his birthright for a bowl of soup, and many men today forfeit their relationship with God by compromising with porn.

You can’t break free from sexual sin by slowly backing away from it or taming it like a pet. The Bible tells us to “flee” from immorality (2 Tim. 2:22). You must lay the axe to the root of your problem. Cut off all access to porn. Say goodbye and slam the door in its face. And if you can’t stop looking at it on your phone or computer, get rid of your phone and computer.

3. Keep no secrets. Guys addicted to porn struggle with constant shame. They can’t enjoy prayer or worship because they feel condemned. They can’t share their faith with others because they feel like hypocrites. And many Christian men are so full of guilt they turn to alcohol or drugs to numb their pain.

It’s not enough to confess your sin to a brother once. You must stay in relationship with people who love you enough to confront you. Find one or two accountability partners and make a covenant with them to live transparently. And don’t wait until you fall to call for counsel. Contact them whenever you feel tempted. Send up a flare and ask for help before it’s too late.

4. Refocus your life on others. Lust is ultimately about self- gratification. When a young man gets hooked on porn, he can’t grow up emotionally. This is why some adult men in their 50s and 60s act like 13-year-olds when it comes to sex. They are stuck in perpetual puberty.

You will never break free from the bondage of sexual sin simply by gritting your teeth and trying to forget the images you saw in magazines or videos. You must totally redirect your energies toward serving others: your spouse, your children, your church and the needy people around you. Throw yourself into selfless ministry and starve your illegal urges.

5. Stay filled with the Spirit. None of these previous steps are possible without the Holy Spirit, who is our promised Helper (see John 14:16). Self-help is not the answer. Ask the Spirit to fill your life with His refining fire. He will go to the root of your unholy desires, burn up your lust and give you supernatural ability to resist temptation.