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When Will Women Have Pastimes?

Source: essence.com

Sometime ago, a performance artist, Wura-Natasha,
shared a little concern of hers with me about women not really having pastimes.
I said to her that I did not totally agree with her little concern, because I
thought women could create pastimes for themselves if they wanted to.

Until lately, I
carried on with the feeling that women had their own pastimes even though it may
not be as much as the men enjoyed.

I began to have a rethink concerning the ‘seemingly harmless’
issue when a second woman, Ify, raised the same concern. Ify told me she needed
to share the thought with me because she wanted to know if she was being
un-African or simply unwomanly!

Like Wura-Natasha, Ifysaid she had observed it even as a growing girl, that her brothers had ‘the
grace’ to enjoy watching their favourite game of football laced with endless
excitements and arguments, totally about the game.

From the points both women raised at different times,
men enjoyed their pastimes discussing issues of personal interests without
interferences. But for the women, it is a different ballgame.

Wura-Natasha actually got me to realise that even when
women thought they were alone and away from home, they actually ‘stray back’ to
the home concerns than just relax among themselves.

For every discussion, they remember something about
the children or the husbands. The women can’t relax without remembering that
something needs to be fixed at home. They must continually make adjustments to
accommodate new plans thrown at them either by the children, the husband or
some family member.

After all, I decided to keep ‘A Woman’s Concern’ diary,
which I hope to share soon. Everywhere I
went the results showed similar patterns and I agreed with Wura-Natasha and Ify
on just how difficult or impossible it could be for women to have real
pastimes.