I can't adopt a dog, because I'm a barely functional adult with a tiny flat, prone to both misadventure and melancholy. Also, my landlord explicitly forbade it, in case I experience a single moment of joy among the screaming misery of my waking hours.

Luckily, there exists a site named BorrowMyDoggy that sets up time-poor dog owners in UK and Ireland with those unfortunate souls who have plenty of time but lack in dog. Unfortunate souls like me. I set up a profile and dropped them a line.

I'm not a dog expert – I can barely look after myself – but as we discovered that time I built a desk, and that other time I built a blanket fort, I'm just a lonely man in need of a friend. This is my story.

1. Get a dog.

Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed

Enter Milo the golden retriever. And what an entrance. Look at that face! Just the most glorious goddamn dog one could well imagine. I grew up with golden retrievers, and love their cheery disposition, loyalty, and pleasant aesthetic. They're everything I'm not.

I met his owner and somehow passed as a functional adult. She gave me consent to borrow him for the day, and we set a date for the following week.

When the day arrived, I picked Milo up from his house at 10am, and quickly fell in love. As we took the bus back to my flat, I showed him off on Twitter, where he now has a loyal fandom, among them, noted party-enthusiast Andrew W.K.:

2. Bask in the glory of his company as you work.

Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed

As I was working from home, I had to at least appear to be doing work. Milo paced around a little before setting himself down behind my seat.

Even this early in our friendship he wanted to stay close, his presence a source of comfort amid the black void of existence. Canine company comes highly recommended for those suffering depression and anxiety. Within minutes it was clear why.

Rather than music, I just listened to him breathe, the quiet reassurance of another living being enough to temper my anxiety and balance my mood.

Then he let out an almighty fart.

Milo does not give a fuck about the tranquil ambience of your workspace.

3. Don't work too hard.

Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed

Every time I got up from the desk, Milo got up too: panting, tail-wagging, wondering what kind of hijinks we'd get up to next, tilting his head at yet another mug of coffee.

So, once I'd sacrificed enough blood and tears to the internet gods, we had playtime. His owner had given me his favourite toy, and at the production of the penguin he was positively exuberant, skipping merrily and sinking his teeth into its foam-stuffed flesh.

My face was using strange new muscles. I believe it's called smiling.

4. Leave the house.

Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed

The excitement of the toy was nothing compared to how excited he got when I put on shoes. Shoes! I entertained new possibilities: If Milo could get this excited about shoes, then perhaps other things are worth getting excited about?

I left his short lead at home and opted instead for the extendable lead, which would allow him room to roam around the park without letting him run free. No one wants to be the guy who lost Milo. Andrew W.K. would be so disappointed.

At the park the air was fresh and the soil pungent. We ran around giddy and free, smelling everything. We scratched out scents from other dogs! We peed on trees and plants! We shat happily in front of perfect strangers, and then scooped it up!

In the words of Lou Reed: Oh, such a perfect day.

5. Stay out for a while.

Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed

Being outside in the daytime is a strange experience, and usually one that is transitory for me; getting to work, for example, or travelling between places I'm protected from the gaping oblivion of life. But with Milo, being outside – just being – was actively pleasant.

Our tour of east London took us down to the canal, and we walked the towpath under blue spring skies. Basking in the glow of sun and dog stewardship, I felt at ease in the world, as if life had purpose: to smell everything while making way for bikes and prams.

Strangers approached us smiling. Not just at him, but at me, for bringing this beacon of delight into their day. I found myself making eye contact, smiling back, and engaging in conversation. "His name is Milo," I'd say. "He's 7. Why yes, he is handsome. Thank you."

Daylight makes everything clearer. Like the fact that there is a ton of shit in the grass along the towpath.

6. Towel him down.

Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed

After an hour of air and exercise we arrived home. Because he couldn't take his shoes off, judicious wiping of feet was necessary in case he trod in the shitty grass along the canal, of which there is plenty. Seriously, the grass to turd ratio is like, 1:1.

He happily raised each paw as I wiped, fully practised in this routine. He even took the towel from me when I was done.

Then he humped the towel.

7. Water the dog.

Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed

Unlike me, Milo is great at hydrating. He drinks a fuck-ton of water, which I believe is the scientific term. I kept a bowl topped up for him in the bathroom, where he could access it when he got thirsty.

Julie, my ex, once told me I wasn't very responsible, and that I had no friends. Well, fuck you Julie, look at me now. I have Milo, and he is fully fucking hydrated.

8. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed

Tired from the walk, he took up a position in the middle of the flat, resting quietly while I finished my workday. Laying out fully, he filled the room. Another reminder, if I needed one, that borrowing a dog was my only option in present circumstances.

I checked on him and he checked on me. At various intervals he'd come over and say hi, ducking his head under my arm so I'd pat him, nudging me softly when I stopped. There was never more than 20 minutes when he didn't come over.

It was never intrusive. Not like 4am texts from Julie. I mean, she left me, ffs.

As the afternoon rolled into evening, it was time to take Milo home. He bounced around excitedly as I put on shoes, packed his bag and fastened the leash to his collar.

Travelling by train to nearby Finsbury Park, we encountered the start of rush hour: packed carriages of grey faces, weary from a day of toil. Only the faces weren't all their usual grey: Everyone who saw Milo instantly beamed.

We arrived at his house just in time for his dinner, and I handed over dog and bag. His owners, a friendly couple who run a business from home, were glad I enjoyed my day with him, and were no doubt happy to see him returned on time and in one piece.

I took the train home alone. I'd made a friend, and now he was gone. I listened to sad songs and looked at my shoes, rendered plain and unexciting in his wake. Life seemed little more than a Milo-shaped hole.

9. Here is a macro image of dog hair on my sweater.

Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed

Behold the meagre remnants of my time with Milo, courtesy of the sweet macro function on my camera. This is literally the only time the macro function has proved useful rather than merely decorative: in documenting one of the various ways he left an impression.

As he left behind hair, so too did he leave another gift. A less visible gift, something no macro function could account for: slobber. The sleeves of this sweater are covered in it. I'm wearing it anyway. I'm never taking it off. I'll fight you.

10. Feel the aching emptiness of post-dog existence.

Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed

This is what heartbreak looks like. The water bowl sat in my bathroom late into the night. I was at odds to remove it, lest it force me to admit that Milo might not be coming back anytime soon.

I'm also lazy.

As I sat in my blanket fort, bereft, broken, I looked at the comments coming through on Twitter and Instagram, how many days had been brightened with just a picture of this majestic dog – a dog I'd had the fortune to actually spend the day with. IRL.

Milo had taught me so much: to get excited about the little things. That shoes mean adventures. That leaving the house can be a wondrous experience. That shitting in front of strangers is an activity to be embraced.

That sometimes you just have to hump the towel.

I cycled through my photo album and returned to the picture I felt summed up my day with Milo. Just him, resting his head on my thigh as I worked. A quiet, affirming gesture that put a broken heart back together.

]]>Daniel Daltonhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/danieldalton/hello-yes-this-is-dogFri, 27 Mar 2015 16:06:06 -0400<b>If you can't borrow a feeling, borrow a dog.</b>danieldaltonnonadult
<p><img src="http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/27/10/enhanced/webdr14/enhanced-mid-7266-1427467747-2.png" width="720" height="361" alt="" /></p>
<p><small>Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed</small></p>
<p>If you&#39;re going to hang out with a dog for the day, the first thing you&#39;ll need is a dog.</p><p>There are many ways to get a dog, all of which should be carefully considered. This is a living being we&#39;re talking about. This is not a fucking game, Daphne.</p><p>For those considering a permanent dog, then consider first adopting one. The RSPCA will even <a href="https://www.rspca.org.uk/findapet">match you with the perfect pet</a>.</p><p>I can&#39;t adopt a dog, because I&#39;m a barely functional adult with a tiny flat, prone to both misadventure and melancholy. Also, my landlord explicitly forbade it, in case I experience a single moment of joy among the screaming misery of my waking hours.</p><p>Luckily, there exists a site named <a href="https://www.borrowmydoggy.com/">BorrowMyDoggy</a> that sets up time-poor dog owners in UK and Ireland with those unfortunate souls who have plenty of time but lack in dog. Unfortunate souls like me. I set up a profile and dropped them a line.</p><p>I&#39;m not a dog expert &ndash; I can barely look after myself &ndash; but as we discovered that time <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/danieldalton/build-your-own-goddamn-writing-desk#.etW40VngD">I built a desk</a>, and that other time I built <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/danieldalton/the-password-is-scotchy-scotch-scotch#.fdk9gnp4R">a blanket fort</a>, I&#39;m just a lonely man in need of a friend. This is my story.</p>
<h1>1. Get a dog.</h1>
<p><img src="http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/27/11/enhanced/webdr12/enhanced-mid-8236-1427469373-9.png" width="720" height="480" alt="1. Get a dog." /></p>
<p><small>Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed</small></p>
<p>Enter Milo the golden retriever. And what an entrance. Look at that face&#33; Just the most glorious goddamn dog one could well imagine. I grew up with golden retrievers, and love their cheery disposition, loyalty, and pleasant aesthetic. They&#39;re everything I&#39;m not.</p><p>I met his owner and somehow passed as a functional adult. She gave me consent to borrow him for the day, and we set a date for the following week.</p><p>When the day arrived, I picked Milo up from his house at 10am, and quickly fell in love. As we took the bus back to my flat, I showed him off on Twitter, where he now has a loyal fandom, among them, noted party-enthusiast Andrew W.K.:</p>
<h1>2. Bask in the glory of his company as you work.</h1>
<p><img src="http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/27/12/enhanced/webdr03/enhanced-mid-4851-1427474345-6.png" width="720" height="480" alt="2. Bask in the glory of his company as you work." /></p>
<p><small>Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed</small></p>
<p>As I was working from home, I had to at least appear to be doing work. Milo paced around a little before setting himself down behind my seat.</p><p>Even this early in our friendship he wanted to stay close, his presence a source of comfort amid the black void of existence. Canine company comes highly recommended for those suffering depression and anxiety. Within minutes it was clear why.</p><p>Rather than music, I just listened to him breathe, the quiet reassurance of another living being enough to temper my anxiety and balance my mood.</p><p>Then he let out an almighty fart.</p><p>Milo does not give a fuck about the tranquil ambience of your workspace.</p>
<h1>3. Don't work too hard.</h1>
<p><img src="http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/27/12/enhanced/webdr03/enhanced-mid-5995-1427474373-6.png" width="720" height="480" alt="3. Don't work too hard." /></p>
<p><small>Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed</small></p>
<p>Every time I got up from the desk, Milo got up too: panting, tail-wagging, wondering what kind of hijinks we&#39;d get up to next, tilting his head at yet another mug of coffee.</p><p>So, once I&#39;d sacrificed enough blood and tears to the internet gods, we had playtime. His owner had given me his favourite toy, and at the production of the penguin he was positively exuberant, skipping merrily and sinking his teeth into its foam-stuffed flesh.</p><p>My face was using strange new muscles. I believe it&#39;s called smiling.</p>
<h1>4. Leave the house.</h1>
<p><img src="http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/26/9/enhanced/webdr05/enhanced-mid-21021-1427377377-12.png" width="720" height="480" alt="4. Leave the house." /></p>
<p><small>Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed</small></p>
<p>The excitement of the toy was nothing compared to how excited he got when I put on shoes. Shoes&#33; I entertained new possibilities: If Milo could get this excited about shoes, then perhaps other things are worth getting excited about?</p><p>I left his short lead at home and opted instead for the extendable lead, which would allow him room to roam around the park without letting him run free. No one wants to be the guy who lost Milo. Andrew W.K. would be so disappointed.</p><p>At the park the air was fresh and the soil pungent. We ran around giddy and free, smelling everything. We scratched out scents from other dogs&#33; We peed on trees and plants&#33; We shat happily in front of perfect strangers, and then scooped it up&#33;</p><p>In the words of Lou Reed: Oh, such a perfect day.</p>
<h1>5. Stay out for a while.</h1>
<p><img src="http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/26/9/enhanced/webdr13/enhanced-mid-15668-1427377402-20.png" width="720" height="480" alt="5. Stay out for a while." /></p>
<p><small>Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed</small></p>
<p>Being outside in the daytime is a strange experience, and usually one that is transitory for me; getting to work, for example, or travelling between places I&#39;m protected from the gaping oblivion of life. But with Milo, being outside &ndash; just being &ndash; was actively pleasant.</p><p>Our tour of east London took us down to the canal, and we walked the towpath under blue spring skies. Basking in the glow of sun and dog stewardship, I felt at ease in the world, as if life had purpose: to smell everything while making way for bikes and prams.<br /></p><p>Strangers approached us smiling. Not just at him, but at me, for bringing this beacon of delight into their day. I found myself making eye contact, smiling back, and engaging in conversation. "His name is Milo," I&#39;d say. "He&#39;s 7. Why yes, he is handsome. Thank you."</p><p>Daylight makes everything clearer. Like the fact that there is a ton of shit in the grass along the towpath.</p>
<h1>6. Towel him down.</h1>
<p><img src="http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/27/12/enhanced/webdr01/enhanced-mid-18292-1427474396-5.png" width="720" height="480" alt="6. Towel him down." /></p>
<p><small>Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed</small></p>
<p>After an hour of air and exercise we arrived home. Because he couldn&#39;t take his shoes off, judicious wiping of feet was necessary in case he trod in the shitty grass along the canal, of which there is plenty. Seriously, the grass to turd ratio is like, 1:1.</p><p>He happily raised each paw as I wiped, fully practised in this routine. He even took the towel from me when I was done.</p><p>Then he humped the towel.</p>
<h1>7. Water the dog.</h1>
<p><img src="http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/27/12/enhanced/webdr01/enhanced-mid-18348-1427474416-7.png" width="720" height="480" alt="7. Water the dog." /></p>
<p><small>Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed</small></p>
<p>Unlike me, Milo is great at hydrating. He drinks a fuck-ton of water, which I believe is the scientific term. I kept a bowl topped up for him in the bathroom, where he could access it when he got thirsty.</p><p>Julie, my ex, once told me I wasn&#39;t very responsible, and that I had no friends. Well, fuck you Julie, look at me now. I have Milo, and he is fully fucking hydrated.</p>
<h1>8. Let sleeping dogs lie.</h1>
<p><img src="http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/27/12/enhanced/webdr15/enhanced-mid-10405-1427474442-1.png" width="720" height="480" alt="8. Let sleeping dogs lie." /></p>
<p><small>Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed</small></p>
<p>Tired from the walk, he took up a position in the middle of the flat, resting quietly while I finished my workday. Laying out fully, he filled the room. Another reminder, if I needed one, that borrowing a dog was my only option in present circumstances.</p><p>I checked on him and he checked on me. At various intervals he&#39;d come over and say hi, ducking his head under my arm so I&#39;d pat him, nudging me softly when I stopped. There was never more than 20 minutes when he didn&#39;t come over.</p><p>It was never intrusive. Not like 4am texts from Julie. I mean, she left me, ffs.</p>
<p>As the afternoon rolled into evening, it was time to take Milo home. He bounced around excitedly as I put on shoes, packed his bag and fastened the leash to his collar.</p><p>Travelling by train to nearby Finsbury Park, we encountered the start of rush hour: packed carriages of grey faces, weary from a day of toil. Only the faces weren&#39;t all their usual grey: Everyone who saw Milo instantly beamed.</p><p>We arrived at his house just in time for his dinner, and I handed over dog and bag. His owners, a friendly couple who run a business from home, were glad I enjoyed my day with him, and were no doubt happy to see him returned on time and in one piece.</p><p>I took the train home alone. I&#39;d made a friend, and now he was gone. I listened to sad songs and looked at my shoes, rendered plain and unexciting in his wake. Life seemed little more than a Milo-shaped hole.</p>
<h1>9. Here is a macro image of dog hair on my sweater.</h1>
<p><img src="http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/26/9/enhanced/webdr12/enhanced-mid-28933-1427376405-1.png" width="720" height="480" alt="9. Here is a macro image of dog hair on my sweater." /></p>
<p><small>Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed</small></p>
<p>Behold the meagre remnants of my time with Milo, courtesy of the sweet macro function on my camera. This is literally the only time the macro function has proved useful rather than merely decorative: in documenting one of the various ways he left an impression.</p><p>As he left behind hair, so too did he leave another gift. A less visible gift, something no macro function could account for: slobber. The sleeves of this sweater are covered in it. I&#39;m wearing it anyway. I&#39;m never taking it off. I&#39;ll fight you.</p>
<h1>10. Feel the aching emptiness of post-dog existence.</h1>
<p><img src="http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-03/27/12/enhanced/webdr05/enhanced-mid-15105-1427474532-11.png" width="720" height="480" alt="10. Feel the aching emptiness of post-dog existence." /></p>
<p><small>Daniel Dalton / BuzzFeed</small></p>
<p>This is what heartbreak looks like. The water bowl sat in my bathroom late into the night. I was at odds to remove it, lest it force me to admit that Milo might not be coming back anytime soon.</p><p>I&#39;m also lazy.</p><p>As I sat in my blanket fort, bereft, broken, I looked at the comments coming through on Twitter and Instagram, how many days had been brightened with just a picture of this majestic dog &ndash; a dog I&#39;d had the fortune to actually spend the day with. IRL.</p><p>Milo had taught me so much: to get excited about the little things. That shoes mean adventures. That leaving the house can be a wondrous experience. That shitting in front of strangers is an activity to be embraced.</p><p>That sometimes you just have to hump the towel.</p><p>I cycled through my photo album and returned to the picture I felt summed up my day with Milo. Just him, resting his head on my thigh as I worked. A quiet, affirming gesture that put a broken heart back together.</p><p>I hope I&#39;ll see him again, but until then: So long, Milo, and <a href="https://soundcloud.com/brendantrinkle/cover-so-happy-together-the">thanks for everything</a>.</p>
<p><i><a href="https://www.borrowmydoggy.com/">BorrowMyDoggy</a> is currently operating in the UK and Ireland only. Thanks to Rikke from BorrowMyDoggy for help with this article. Thanks to Milo for being Milo.</i></p><p><b>Previously:</b></p><p><a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/danieldalton/build-your-own-goddamn-writing-desk#.qv9q8AP7dp">I Built A Goddamn Writing Desk With My Bare Hands And You Can Too</a></p><p><a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/danieldalton/the-password-is-scotchy-scotch-scotch#.lu5MNWnQq0">I Built A Goddamn Professional-Grade Blanket Fort And You Can Too</a></p>
<p><small></small></p>
nonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadult9 Foods That Are Impossible To Catch If You Are This Doghttp://www.buzzfeed.com/samimain/fritz-is-on-the-fritz?utm_term=4ldqpia
Fritz is TERRIBLE at catching food. Terrible and adorable.

Steak

Doughnuts

Meatballs

Tacos

]]>Sami Mainhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/samimain/fritz-is-on-the-fritzTue, 24 Mar 2015 09:16:06 -0400<b>Fritz is <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/nickguillory/snoop-doggy-dogg-catches-better">TERRIBLE</a> at catching food.</b> Terrible and adorable.samimainnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadult(Though this one was a fluke success.)nonadultnonadult21 Times Golden Retrievers Failed So Hard But Were So Cute It Didn't Matterhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/nom-so-hard?utm_term=4ldqpia
They’re just nomming their way through the world.

When their ridiculous smiles take over their entire face:

They can sleep anywhere:

They have no concept of modesty:

They're always pulling practical jokes:

]]>Rachel Zarrellhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/nom-so-hardSat, 21 Mar 2015 20:08:07 -0400<b>They're just nomming their way through the world.</b>rachelzarrellnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadult(Obstacle course fail.)nonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultWhat Dog Breeds Say About Their Ownershttp://www.buzzfeed.com/beckycatherineharris/what-dog-breeds-say-about-their-owners?utm_term=4ldqpia
“Guys with pit bulls are good in bed.”

]]>Becky Catherine Harrishttp://www.buzzfeed.com/beckycatherineharris/what-dog-breeds-say-about-their-ownersFri, 06 Feb 2015 15:00:14 -0500<b>"Guys with pit bulls are good in bed."</b>beckycatherineharrisnonadult17 Adorable Guide Puppies To Brighten Your Dayhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/kaelintully/its-so-fluffy-im-gonna-die?utm_term=4ldqpia
This is all the cute you will ever need.

"Do I look ~snazzy~ in my vest?"

"They didn't teach us how to read yet in guide puppy school."

"Where's your fancy outfit?!"

]]>Kaelin Tullyhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/kaelintully/its-so-fluffy-im-gonna-dieThu, 05 Feb 2015 15:01:03 -0500<b>This is all the cute you will ever need.</b>kaelintullynonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadult24 Adorable Puppies Getting Their First Bathhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/kaelintully/puppies-are-the-best-no-lie?utm_term=4ldqpia
Prepare to fall on the floor from cuteness.

"I guess since I've got some rubber duckies to play with, it's not so bad."

"COME ON MOM, you promised you wouldn't get any water in these precious ears."

"How does my scruff look? Am I extra fluffy yet?"

"This is not half as fun as you promised it would be."

]]>Kaelin Tullyhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/kaelintully/puppies-are-the-best-no-lieThu, 22 Jan 2015 18:31:03 -0500<b>Prepare to fall on the floor from cuteness.</b>kaelintullynonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadult27 Times Dogs Were Truly The Best Kind Of Friendshttp://www.buzzfeed.com/kaelintully/youre-the-best-friend-that-i-ever-had-been-with-u-such-a-lon?utm_term=4ldqpia
Dogs are the best. No lie.

And when these two cuddled up to watch a movie together.

When these buddies shared during snack time.

When these two crossed species barriers.

]]>Kaelin Tullyhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/kaelintully/youre-the-best-friend-that-i-ever-had-been-with-u-such-a-lonMon, 12 Jan 2015 11:01:45 -0500<b>Dogs are the best.</b> No lie.kaelintullynonadult18 Puppies Who Are Just Trying To Figure Out The Worldhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/kaelintully/i-rly-want-that-wrinkly-puppy-like-so-much?utm_term=4ldqpia
The world is a confusing place, puppies.

"Ahh, what is the majestic light warming my wrinkles? I never want it to go away."

These expert snowmen builders.

]]>Kaelin Tullyhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/kaelintully/runnin-like-mike-back-in-92-like-who-payton-in-83Mon, 08 Dec 2014 15:32:06 -0500<b>Fact: Dogs are unbeatable.</b>kaelintullynonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultGolden Retriever Hilariously Destroys A German Shepherd In A Spaghetti-Eating Contesthttp://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/golden-retriever-dominates-eating-contest-german-shepherd?utm_term=4ldqpia
He never stood a chance.

]]>Rachel Zarrellhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/golden-retriever-dominates-eating-contest-german-shepherdMon, 24 Nov 2014 08:35:33 -0500<b>He never stood a chance.</b>rachelzarrellnonadultnonadultThough the video is from last year, it's been trending online today.nonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadulth/t <a href="http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2014/11/spaghetti-eating-contest-golden.html">Tastefully Offensive</a>nonadultThis Golden Retriever And Rescued Kitten Will Sweeten Up Your Instagramhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/samimain/bestie-brothers?utm_term=4ldqpia
Keelo and Koda are just a bundle of smiles and cuddles.

This is Keelo. (He's not new, but he's very cute!)

Koda was rescued from some bushes about a month ago.

At first, no one was sure if these two opposites would get along as brothers...

]]>Sami Mainhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/samimain/bestie-brothersSat, 22 Nov 2014 12:46:06 -0500<b><a href="http://instagram.com/keeloandkoda">Keelo and Koda</a> are just a bundle of smiles and cuddles.</b>samimainnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadult5 Times This Golden Retriever Just Couldn't Catch Her Treathttp://www.buzzfeed.com/samimain/it-aint-gonna-happen?utm_term=4ldqpia
Bless her heart, she tried. (H/T Tastefully Offensive)

So, the point of the contest seemed to be to get the dogs to run to their owners as fast as they can, despite delicious foods surrounding them.

Some dogs saw this as a challenge, while this golden saw this as an opportunity.

"THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!"

"Holy crap, there's food back here too??"

]]>Chelsea Marshallhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/chelseamarshall/boss-ass-goldenFri, 14 Nov 2014 15:01:03 -0500<b>...or at least eat the treats!</b>chelseamarshallnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultAnd isn't that all any of us want anyways??nonadultnonadultH/T <a href="http://barkpost.com/goldie-eats-race-win/?utm_source=facebook&amp;utm_medium=post">Bark Post</a>nonadultThis Dog Can Hold Three Tennis Balls In Its Mouth At Once, What Can You Even Do?http://www.buzzfeed.com/abagg/this-dog-can-hold-three-tennis-balls-in-its-mouth-at-once-wh?utm_term=4ldqpia
Pure talent.

Zoe, the yellow lab, is all smiles after grabbing three tennis balls at once.

Bravo!

]]>Allison Bagghttp://www.buzzfeed.com/abagg/this-dog-can-hold-three-tennis-balls-in-its-mouth-at-once-whTue, 04 Nov 2014 00:08:06 -0500<b>Pure talent.</b>abaggnonadultThis video is a bit older, but making the rounds again.nonadultnonadult42 Of The Most Important Puppies Of All Timehttp://www.buzzfeed.com/kaelintully/i-want-all-the-puppies-in-the-world-pls-pls-pls-pls?utm_term=4ldqpia
Nothing in the world is more important than puppies.

This corgi who has the cutest face in the universe.

And this little hand holder.

This proud pit puppy.

And this laundry basket snuggle session that took adorable to the next level.

]]>Kaelin Tullyhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/kaelintully/i-want-all-the-puppies-in-the-world-pls-pls-pls-plsThu, 30 Oct 2014 13:16:05 -0400<b>Nothing in the world is more important than puppies.</b>kaelintullynonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadult13 Other Things The "I Have No Idea What I'm Doing" Dog Has No Idea How To Dohttp://www.buzzfeed.com/jobarrow/i-have-no-idea-what-im-doing-dog?utm_term=4ldqpia
Of course she can’t do IT support. Even though she definitely looks like she could.

Bailey initially found fame as the "I have no idea what I'm doing" dog.

She amassed over 8,000 followers on Instagram after her owner, Alex, started sharing photos of her in various funny situations that no dog should really be in.

Bailey probably has no idea how to read, despite looking very dapper in glasses.

Bailey has no idea how to herd cows.

]]>Jo Barrowhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/jobarrow/i-have-no-idea-what-im-doing-dogMon, 27 Oct 2014 05:30:13 -0400<b>Of course she can&#39;t do IT support.</b> Even though she definitely looks like she could.jobarrownonadultShe amassed over 8,000 followers on Instagram after her owner, Alex, started sharing photos of her in various funny situations that no dog should really be in.nonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultnonadultThis Is What Happens When A Dog Has Too Much Ambitionhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/samimain/thats-the-way-the-cookie-crumbles?utm_term=4ldqpia
Betcha didn’t see that one coming!

The breeder offered Ruvalcaba the option to pick another dog, but she refused. "He was our boy and we would do whatever we needed to make his life comfortable and complete."

]]>James Grebeyhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/jamesgrebey/sonny-the-dog-doesnt-let-the-world-keep-him-downTue, 22 Jul 2014 13:30:08 -0400<b>Warning: Feels ahead.</b>jamesgrebeynonadult9 Videos You Can’t Miss This Weekhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/maycie/9-videos-you-cant-miss-this-week-7-12
Featuring a man who does a spot-on impression of a woman, an insane quadruple kick, and the tiniest hamster birthday party you ever did see.

Golden Retriever Is Biggest, Fluffiest Baby Ever

Bo-Sox the dog is much bigger than Chevy the cat. So why is he so darn scared to pass Chevy on the stairs? (1:28)

Martial Artist Pulls Off Insane Quadruple Kick

]]>Maycie Thorntonhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/maycie/9-videos-you-cant-miss-this-week-7-12Sat, 12 Jul 2014 19:01:03 -0400<b>Featuring a man who does a spot-on impression of a woman, an insane quadruple kick, and the tiniest hamster birthday party you ever did see.</b>maycienonadult<b>Bo-Sox the dog is much bigger than Chevy the cat.</b> So why is he so darn scared to pass Chevy on the stairs? (1:28)nonadultnonadult<b>This is so cool.</b> This is just so freaking cool. (0:07)nonadultnonadult<b>Go ahead, try not to smile when you see this li&#39;l tiny hedgehog&#39;s li&#39;l tiny birthday party.</b> Bet you can&#39;t do it! (1:23)nonadultnonadult<b>The only thing better than a donut is a waffled donut.</b> It&#39;s time to stop waffling and start making waffles. (2:01)nonadultnonadult<b>Actor and sound designer Matt Bittner&#39;s impression of an excited girl is beyond perfect.</b> This is unreal. (0:25)nonadultnonadult<b>What happens when you move an object around in front of a bunch of kittens?</b> Perfectly synchronized cuteness. (0:33)nonadultnonadult<b>How excited were Tyler&#39;s classmates to see him after he missed a week of school?</b> They even noticed his haircut! (0:43)nonadultnonadult<b>It sounds harsh, but just watch, she has a lot of really good points.</b> Oh and speaking of kids being life-ruiners, have you thanked your parents today? (1:48)nonadultnonadult<b>&ldquo;I&rsquo;d rather look back and see a project filled with honesty, than see 2000 photos of fake smiles.&rdquo;</b> (4:03)nonadultnonadult