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Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Why me, or rather "Why NOT me?"

Darn these blogs about preemies and sick babies, but thank you for making me appreciate everything in my life so much more. It's not until you start reading some of these that you realize just how lucky you are.

I've never been one to ask "Why me?". When we lost Ella, when we were fighting for every ounce and breath with Gavin, when I was laying in the hospital in misery and just hoping that Sam was big enough to avoid Gavin's struggles, I never asked the question.

But in ther aftermath, with my pretty near perfect life, with my healthy boys, happy marriage, I realize I have never asked "Why not me?". Who am I to have such blessings when so many others stuggle? I am not the most religious person, although I consider myself to be very spiritual. I strive to lead a purposeful life, to make a positive impact on others. As I have grown up and realized how lucky I am, I am making a greater effort to give back to my community, to donate money to causes that are meaningful, and more than anything to help babies and children through March of Dimes and Blank Children's Hospital. It's the least I can do for being spared some of the bigger heartbreaks in life.

If you can hug, kiss, call, see your child, you are one of the lucky ones. So forgive me if Gavin is a little too spoiled. Forgive me for letting Sam sleep on the couch with me, rather than letting him lay all alone in his crib. Forgive my messy house that I have forsaken to spend a few more precious moments snuggling with my family. Forgive the invitations that I turn down.

And for all my fellow "lucky ones", I implore you to realize just how good you have it. You will notice I have started adding links to other blogs that have touched my heart (and those that are families or friends). Read some of these stories and be humbled and grateful as I am. And then do something. We may not be able to control the hand we are dealt, but we can control our response to it. Focus on all the wonderful things in your life, let go of the small stuff, and then do what you can to make a difference in the lives of others.