There are two types of pain; visible and invisible. For me, the invisible kind is so much worse. If your pain is visible and out there for everyone to see, you atleast hope (and know) that people will talk to you about it. They’ll ask how you broke your arm. They’ll bring you meals when your family member dies. They’ll come to you in your sadness and pain and darkness, the way that humans are supposed to. But, if your pain is invisible, you are alone. There are no caring comment. No meals. No extra words of hope. There’s no one to come into your darkness; to just be with you or to help pull you out. There’s a loneliness and pain that no matter how hard you fight, you simply can’t. That is the worst kind of pain. Because you don’t have the strength to cry out for help and no one can see that you need them to come to you.

For the last 3 years, the holidays have been less than merry. You can blame it on broken relationships. Relationships that never should have been the way they were. Spring starts with a little bit of hope. Summer comes and bliss and joy are restored. And by Fall my heart is shattered once again. Winter comes with cold winds and pain; in my body and in my soul.

But, I’ve come to realize that we aren’t promised a “Merry Christmas”. We aren’t promised “Happy Holidays”. I can’t assume that I’ll ever have a Christmas the way I want it to be; without pain and hurt. But, God did promise to be with me. He is with me. We celebrate his Son coming as a baby to save a world that was separated from him. We can be with Him because He came to be with us. Despite the sadness, despite the hurt, despite the pain, I can have a “Merry Christmas” because God is with us.