Send me email updates about messages I've received
on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.By signing up, you certify that
you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

Was your child there for the arrival of your 2nd/3rd child?if not, why not?

Hello ladies.
I have a 4 yr old daughter and I kinda wanted her to be there for the birth of my 2nd child..but then I kinda don't want to incase of the worse (stillbirth,emergency c-section, etc) Also this will be a VBAC..so I was wondering if you had your child present for the birth of a sibling, or tell me why i'm crazy... i'm kinda 50/50..so I need some help making the right choice.

I plan to have my daughter present at the birth of my second child so she can grow up without FEAR of birth. Many women fear birth because they've never witnessed it and learned to see it as something NORMAL.

That can be a scary thing for someone so young. If you are going to show that you are in any type of pain she is going to be scared. I know a mom who showed her son a show of a woman giving birth and he was TERRIFIED of his mom going through that..they had to hide it from him when the time came because he would cry whenever he thought about it. You don't want to give her the wrong idea of her sibling is hurting her mom.

I agree with dbodani. It can be scary for a little child and it might result to your first child thinking the 2nd child is "bad" because it hurt you. When I had my second baby a few days ago, my daughter was waiting in the hospital lobby with my sister and she was very excited she was there and not at home.

My children were there for the birth of their siblings...you have a support person just for your child(children) and they can come and go from the room during labor and help with the decision at the actual time of birth to stay in the room or not.some of the time my older one(ones) stayed in the room and others they didn't...and a couple times the older ones slept through the actual birth and woke up just after(we had soem of our children at home). In one instance the youngest at the time who was not quite four,saw their little sister born and held the baby first...still happily mentions it sometimes,quite a few years later...she felt awful special.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 6:09 AM on May. 28, 2010

I forgot to add that I prepared our children for what birth was like and what a baby looked like throughout the pregnancy.

Answer by
Anonymous
at 6:11 AM on May. 28, 2010

I wanted to have him there. But My second son was born in December, in the midst of all the swine flu stuff, so my hospital wouldn't allow anyone under 18 in the room, and only two people at a time. So it was just me and my hubbs.

My daughter was almost 5 years old when my son was born and he was a scheduled c-section. She stayed with my parents and they brought her to the hospital right when I was going into surgery. (my scheduled time was pushed back almost 2 hours) They waited and then joined me as soon as I got in the room.