When the self destructive behaviour isnt necessarily only "self" destructive, it has impact on others and, as the episodes increase, can also destroy the love from those that care deeply, but calls into question whether there was ever any love in the first place?

The conflict arises between the love that appears to be there and the events of destruction (eg, self destruction that has been discussed many times as extremely hurtful) which are in complete conflict with one another. The original question remains, how many chances govern when one gives up?