I am in love and it is consuming.

I tried to find another example, but the only other one I can think of is addiction, and I have not been down the road far enough to tell you what I have seen there. But I imagine it is similar in that you are high and coasting and you lose yourself. You lose yourself by loving too much. You lose other things too. Earrings, for one. Entire conversations. My love spoke this weekend and the second sentence melted into ether as I noticed the dark velvet of his voice. And then the source of the sounds--his lips. And "I" as I knew it was gone. It feels like it is the first time--it is not. And this time, I would like to have some reverence for this love, some distance from this feeling. Staying present to it and observing it. What does it feel like? Using it in my everyday--my kindness towards others, my work, my love for myself. Remembering it by understanding it. Because this intensity only lasts up to 18 months, on average.

In just the same way we lose our minds when something is painful--when we are hungry, or physically drained, we try like caged monkeys to escape the feeling...what would happen if we slowed down to observe it--to not squirm so much when it is uncomfortable. We are still here. And we can use that too. Oftentimes they are more useful than love, although it is not a prerequisite to be miserable to make interesting work.