As you may be aware, there is a genteel, non-competitive cycling conspiracy (GNCCC) afoot (or awheel) in New York City, and to a certain extent Robert Sullivan is its literary voice, giving it ready access to media outlets such as the Times. Furthermore, David Byrne is the conspiracy's celebrity spokesperson because his rock star status appeals to the youth (in the context of the GNCCC, the "youth" means people 55 and under), and the Dutch city bike is its de facto symbol and totem. While ostensibly the GNCCC is pro-cycling and works in our favor, there runs beneath it a sinister undercurrent of elitism, strange helmets, and pro-Dutch propaganda.

In any case, it's true that the Brooklyn Bridge is full of tourists who often step into the bike lane and in front of cyclists, which can lead to tragic Giuseppe Guerini scenarios. This is extremely frustrating for everybody involved. As such, I read Sullivan's op-ed with interest. Fortunately, he did not advocate "schluffing" across the bridge, though he did take the opportunity to admonish faster cyclists:

On the other side of the line are two kinds of bicyclists, most pedaling peacefully, a few confusing bike commuting with driving rocket cars on the Bonneville Salt Flats.

While we've all encountered the overzealous commuter, this sort of finger-wagging (which is not to be confused with fingerbanging) is also typical of members of the GNCCC, to whom a reckless cyclist is anybody who rides faster than 10mph, or whose bars are not higher than his saddle, or who has the temerity to cycle without essential safety gear such as flat pedals, a tweed blazer, or a baguette. Also, I'm not sure why Sullivan finds himself beset by rocket cars, unless he keeps encountering faired recumbents.

Despite this, I found myself agreeing with the essential point of Sullivan's piece:

Thus, I present the following condition. Yes, ban bicycles on the Brooklyn Bridge walkway, but allow them on the roadways, where they are now not permitted, by creating physically protected bike lanes.

This makes good sense to me. The Brooklyn Bridge is a major tourist attraction, and as such it must be readily accessible to tourists. Furthermore, an essential component of being a tourist is wandering about oblivious and agog, like a teenager in a strip club. This sort of behavior is just not conducive to sharing space with cyclists, who for the most part are simply concerned with getting someplace. So by all means, give the pretty part of the bridge with the view to the tourists, and give a portion of the roadway to cyclists, so that each can use the bridge for their preferred purpose unmolested.

Unfortunately, shortly after this, like an overeager fingerbanger who attempts to employ an additional digit Sullivan goes too far:

If we bicyclists cede the Brooklyn Bridge walkway, then it might be a step toward winning the public’s respect. Then, just maybe, pedestrians would call a truce and recognize that their real enemy is the car, that bikers are like pedestrians in that they are just trying to get to work without the use of a gurney.

Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot. And idiots travel by foot, car, and bicycle. If anything, the bicycle has more in common with the car than it does with the pedestrian, since the bicycle is a vehicle too. Really, the problem is that too many people don't consider bicycles vehicles (which is why they tell us to "Get on the sidewalk!"), coupled with the fact that too many cyclists don't ride like they're operating vehicles in the first place. Also, try telling a pedestrian who's been hit by a cyclist that his real enemy is the car. If we start equating cycling with pedestrianism instead of vehicle use then before you know it we'll all be "schluffing." Anyway, everybody knows the enemy of the cyclist and the pedestrian is not the car; it's the Rollerblader:

When it comes to sharing our roadways, the most important thing is to retain our humanity by respecting our fellow humans. And you are a human, whether you're using a vehicle or you're on foot. However, I believe that the Rollerblader is exempt from this, since the very act of Rollerblading is a denial of humanity. Rollerblades are not vehicles; they are attempts to actually transform the body into something else. This is acceptable and necessary when you must venture into other environments that are inhospitable to human life. If you need to go underwater, you use flippers and a scuba tank. If you need to go into space, you wear a spacesuit. However, simply moving about outside does not require putting on shoes with wheels. When you do this, you're not a vehicle user, nor are you a pedestrian. Instead, you simply combine the most irritating elements of both and become a menace. Consider the act of Rollerblading:

The green arrows represent the Rollerblader's wingspan, which is considerable and far exceeds the width of even New York City's ample new bike lanes. Furthermore, the blue arrows represent the sweeping arc of the foot, and if you somehow manage to avoid being slapped in the face you still have to contend with a wayward skate. Meanwhile, while the black line represents the ostensible direction of the skater, the red arrows depict the skater's actual motion as he propels himself forward. Of course, "Rollerblade" is actually a brand, and what many of us call "Rollerblading" is actually inline skating. (Just like cycling is not "Schwinning.") However, while the wheels on the skates may be in line, there's little that's linear about the actual skater, who extends along all axes like a windmilling kindergardener or the frills of a Giant Koosh Ball of Death. In short, modifying the human body in this manner is only acceptable when it's essential for human survival. Otherwise, it's simply a selfish waste of public space.

Still, for the most part I did find myself agreeing with much of what Sullivan had to say in his op-ed, and I found that surprising--almost as surprising as Cadel Evans's World Championship win:

Despite my surprise, as a cycling fan I was very pleased to see Cadel finally go from whining to winning. Moreover, he didn't just win--he won in a decisive and impressive fashion. I only hope he manages to avoid the dreaded "curse of the rainbow jersey," and that those stripes don't complicate his life in the same way the Ring complicated things for his cousin Frodo.

Meanwhile, Interbike is finally over, and it turns out that the reason I didn't find any of the stuff I saw online exciting is that I don't have a proper appreciation for power meters:

While a power meter is certainly an important tool for a professional cyclist, the bulk of them are of course sold to amateurs who misinterpret their amateur status and poor results as signs that they need to spend a huge amount of money on a power meter when in fact their amateur status and poor results are actually the very reasons they don't need a power meter. If you're an amateur, buying a power meter to train is like hiring an accountant to tell you how broke you are or like buying an iPhone just to check your Cannondale stock. Yet amateurs not only buy power meters, but they think $1,000 for a power meter is actually cheap. Clearly then, I will make a fortune when I introduce my own power meter at next year's Interbike, since it will be the cheapest and most accurate one ever. Yes, for $5 you'll get an LCD display which constantly flashes the message, "You suck."

If that's not enough data for you and you crave downloadable information, simply plug your own license number into the USA Cycling website and analyze away.

I knew the 'xtreme rollerblading'was handled quickly and quietly by skateboarders. I belive bladers were labeled 'fruitbooters' and pulled into alleyways and offeredA. a skateboardB. glow in the dark rave clothesC. a pair of BirkenstocksD. or a wheelchairtheir choice....

can't the triathletes or cross country skiers come claim the rest of these guys?

As a cyclist I hate to see any bike lanes relinquished, but the Brooklyn Bridge might just be the exception. There's simply no way for anyone (cyclists and pedestrians alike) to fully enjoy it as it's set up right now.

NOt to be all Mr. story topper but...Two words...Roller Skier. Take all the swaying and flailing about of a rollerblader and add 3' to the length of the skates and add a 5' long sharp pointy stick in each hand. It's like trying to dodge a giant salad shooter blade as it whirls erratically down a road. Seriously...just one alone can fill up a 12' wide lane, nearly impossible to pass without loud shouting and slowing and swerving and ducking.

cognorant, I was going to mention them also. Maybe the rule should be that you're not allowed to take up valuable bike path/ road space doing something that was originally designed to happen on a snowy or icy surface.

Maybe I should drag out my old studded Mt. bike tires and head over to the ice rink just to make a point...

Mr. Snob-I quit my membership to our local cycling advocacy group (SFBC) when they stated their belief that rollerbladers should have access to bike lanes. You did a great job of illustrating their unpredictable nature, but neglected to mention the ubiquitous iPod, which renders them even more oblivious to their surroundings.

1. Mogo2. Motorized RZR type scooter being ridden/driven(?) on the street. As if the cars were not enough, right?3. This contraption, not sure if anybody else has seen one, that is like a double decked RZR scooter with a bicycle flat-bar for steering (ha!). Apparently the rider pushes off then sways from side to side to gain momentum. And much like Cognorant's roller skiers, these friggin' things take up a lot of space. Don't know if they have brakes or not, too afraid to ask.

I hate those things Frilly! As far as I can tell their sole purpose is to take up as much space as humanly possible, and the only few that I have seen have all been salmoning...hmm, maybe they are creatures of the sea?

Did anyone do the NYCC Escape from NY ride on Saturday? If so, I was the guy stranded with the broken stem bolt at mile 80. The sag wagon gave me a lift to Piermont cycles who got me fixed up nicely and on my way.

BTW, anyone who still has a Deda quill fork, do yourself a favor and replace it. I'm just glad it gave out when I was going 16mph up an incline instead of 40mph down one of the quick descents on that ride.

I disagree with your black line in the diagram. In-line skaters bob and weave like boxers. You need to add some wobble to indicate that while in general they are headed forward they will always weave toward you as you try to pass.

...could we just savor that for a minute, please...& ya, ya, props n' shit to bsnyc/rtms for penning it here but let's just take it for the truth it reveals...

...in fact, due to the popularity of this blogsite, that should be added as a second title line just to constantly remind "we" readers of it's basic message:...

...BIKE SNOB NYC......"Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot."...

...we can be our own worst enemy on a regular basis...i'm not making any apologies for all the moron drivers & pedestrians out there who don't understand how life threateningly dangerous our situation can be but we as cyclists have our own house to get in order...

And....what's fat, lying down, has 3 wheels and goes 20mph up hill?....You got it, a big, fat, dumbass on a 3 wheel recumbent with an engine bolted to the back of it. Saw it this weekend...scared the crap out of me. Non threatening but scary.

Hey Bike Snob, I would like to be considered for your beta testing program for your power meter. Surely, you plan to do some testing before you go into full production on the units and sell them to the public.

Anon 2:20 made the point I was going to make about their ever present headphones and mp3 players.

when ever I have the (dis)pleasure of riding on my local Multi-use paths and have to pass an inline skater I often have to go off-roading in order to give them enough clearance... to add to the terror and menace, they are often not traveling in a straight line, as you black line would indicate; but rather a subtle but definite undulating S pattern.

Usually you make short work of your targets, but not so with David Byrne. He's been mentioned a lot in your posts, but all that comes of it is a grey area of non-plussitude verging on dislike. What gives? Why the hate?

Do you think that power meter could fit through a Prince Albert piercing? That might be interesting.

And Frilly, I think those Razor-plow thingies have a "brake" which is just a piece of metal on a hinge that you press down on the back wheel. Or maybe I am just making this up? Maybe that's just the Razor that has this. Anyway it doesn't really matter because it's probably hard to get that thing past 7 mph unless you're going down a 6% grade, in which case you will probably die anyway.

"Really, the problem is that too many people don't consider bicycles vehicles (which is why they tell us to "Get on the sidewalk!"), coupled with the fact that too many cyclists don't ride like they're operating vehicles in the first place. "

A few weeks ago I was riding in traffic to a stop sign and was promptly and repeatedly reminded that" You are not a vehicle... You are not a vehicle..." in a small computer-y voice by a person wearing a very large helmet while riding a Vespa knockoff. I guess there is no way to win.

True words: Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot. I find 99.8% of all 'cars' to be respectful of my bike space. It's the idiots that don't that you gotta watch out for. It's why I use a mirror when commuting, to do that last second adjustment to the right (red arrow).

I sometimes take a safety short-cut through a church's grounds. One day, a security guard yelled at me to dis-mount. I dorklocrossed and he was appeased. Worked for that.

For reasons beyond my meager technical understanding last week the RSS feed actually wasn't working at all. I finally managed to get it working again, but that involved changing it so it no longer shows the whole post. Once I've got everything straightened out maybe I can change it back. Sorry for the inconvenience.

At 9k miles a year, I think I can consider myself a cyclist. Yet i was totally clueless a tourist-pedestrian when I took my family over the B'klyn Bridge. I don't think that ped/bike set-up is particularly intuitive or user friendly. So I was in fact, quite idiot-like and I got yelled at by a hipster - I hate when that happens.

love this:Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot. And idiots travel by foot, car, and bicycle.

You need to modify your power meter Snob, so that it says "you suck" every 5 seconds, downloads, and overlays all that suckage on Google Maps, showing you not only that you suck, but exactly where on earth you suck.

The only bug is that if you suck near Dick Cheney's house, it will get blurred out.

Saying that yet another power meter was the most exciting thing at Interbike this year just indicates how much Interbike sucked.

The problem is there's no cure for the idiot. GNCCC or not, that's why Sullivan's suggestion makes a lot of sense. That or get rid of all bike lanes, and go back to a time when the cyclist's enemy really was the car.

Cadel's "excuse" for winning is that he stayed back in other's slipstreams and watched all the attacks get reeled in without doing any of the reeling in work and then attacked on a hill with about 3 miles to go. Effective race strategy. Douchey, but effective.

I'm sure Spartacus, Vino, Basso, Sanchez, etc. hate his whining douchey ass even more now than they did before.

Oh yeah, when Vino attacked near the end I could almost hear Pat McQuaid wailing "Oh dear god, No!!" from my living room 3K miles away...

RTMS: I'm thinking of changing my identity to "Oblivious and Agog," because I think it fits me to a T. Do you have that copyrighted, and how much will it cost me? And can I get a twofer deal on the identity if it's rolled in with one of your $5 power meters? Something that literally reinforces that "You Suck" that's always playing in my head when I ride would be, well, priceless. If by priceless you mean five bucks.

Yes, it's a bike lane, but, it doesn't work -- anyone who's used the Brooklyn Bridge more than once and not simply switched to the dedicated bike lane on the Manhattan Bridge deserves the telephoto tourist lens that will soon wind up lodged in their face. And, if you absolutely insist on the Brooklyn Bridge, the roadway is doable -- we took it all the time before it was paved (the screaming-loud slippery-metal-grating years) "back in the day." And yes, I think I'm really super-duper cool for doing that.

"Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot."I tend to like like dark grey T-shirts with yellow type...can this be arranged? Brooklyn Bridge: Like the suggestion for cycling lanes on the roadway because it's NEVER going to work with the Pedestrians...NEVER!Power Meters: Disagree. I'd venture to say that they are MORE useful to a serious novice than everyone short of Pro Tour....IF you don't pay much attention to them and only look at the data over long periods of time and when you do tests. People seem to like to put them down because of the cost. The people that are buying them now are subsidizing the people that will buy them later. And you WILL buy it when it gets cheap enough.This was, as always, a great post.Thanks Snob.

...cadel might follow bikensnob nyc & remarks like that may prompt him to hire "erik the photographer", he of the infamous "tragic Giuseppe Guerini scenario" to pose as a tourist on that oh so famous & controversial brooklyn bridge...

...deftly quick on his feet, 'erik' may literally be stepping into your life some early morning during the commute, w/ a whispered "cadel sez hi, mate", before yer coffee has fully kicked in & there you are, kicked to the curb ...

What's even worse than rollerblades are those damned Freeline skates; those things absolutely cannot be made to go in a straight line. I've had to come to a complete stop to avoid someone on those coming toward me because his side-to-side wobbling was so unpredictable.

"Cycling's enemy is not the car; it is the idiot. And idiots travel by foot, car, and bicycle". The Snob cuts right to the core. It takes genius to put something so simply. It's one of those phenomenons that one feels keenly, yet it takes someone else to quantify properly. I felt a huge amount of trafficionary frustration evaporate right there, my perception of fellow commuters - drivers, riders, pedestrians - is much simplified.

...to add to the "dog walker" scenario we have those stupid, ubiquitous expand-a-leashes, whatever they're called...

...you ride up, call out to pass w/ a targeted trajectory, all the while thinking everything is certainly safe 'cuz fido is on a leash but on hearing yer approaching bike ol' fido, being a dog & not particularly to blame, stretches the leash & runs right out into yer path...

Give it a long Italian name that no one can pronounce correctly and ensure it can be shortened to a snappy nickname ending in “ampy”

Slap any ol’ symbol on there. Just grab the spades symbol from a deck of cards; no one will know.

Paint it yellow so passersby can easily recognize and realize how much I spent.

Give me an ad that shows how many grams have been shaved off from last year. The 5 grams saved will be sorely needed as I plan to put on at least 2lbs over the winter. Plus, I can tell the guys in the office about my smart buy as we enjoy our morning donuts.

Bike Snob I have become a great admirer of your work over the last few week (and disappointed I had not found this blog sooner).

I am very happy Cadel has finally had a win. Perhaps he will change the nature of the curse of the Rainbow Jersey (is it gay?), now your year can suck before you win. Who knows what the next twelve month will hold.

Agree with the fruit-boot space analysis thread...I have actually ran over the side-ways vectored skate of a fruit-booter, while he was booting' along...literally ran over his skate/ankle...on my cross bike...just another bump in the road...

Hey BikeSnob....there's a house party themed alleycat happening in Philly in November. They made a video promoting it. Check it out here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reO-ad4hhSI I think you'll like it

I do not agree with your observation about Rollerblades - better called inline skates. I Iive in London and we co-habit with cyclists just fine. The rule is whatever is faster goes first - and nobody complains. As we are allowed to skate on the sidewalk if we need to pass lets say "A contingent of bike tourists" we can go on the sidewalk, pass them and continue to skate happily- Your observation about the stride is not that accurate either as it can be adjusted depending on the surface and space available.

To be fair some of what you say about inline skaters is true, they have a wide stance when travelling full pelt. This will no doubt be a problem if you're gunning it down a road behind one of them and trying to inch past. Generally however if you use a bell or make your self known you'll find that a skater can take up far less road width than a bike and will be happy to do so to let you past. As for the idea of skaters maybe not being vehicles, it's true, we're 50% grey. As such we can travel as fast as a bike, on pavements or on the street with justification for doing either. Are we pedestrians with strange footwear or road users with minimalist vehicles? which ever suits us / the police.

I am sorry you found the need to slam us Inline Skaters as we are your brethren in alternative transportation. More than any other group we see eye-to-eye with cyclists in fighting being run over, cursed at and clipped by cars. Any time there is a Pro-cycling rally, all the skaters go to give 100% support- we run these events on our forums and try to help. This hurts a lot considering we feel that bikers and "roller-bladers" are fighting the exact same battles against pushy cars who have no patience for us on the road. We always feel like we are your KIN so to be blasted by our brothers is pretty shitty. We, like you, are trying NOT to pollute, to get exercise, to find alternative transport, to wheel places instead of drive- in short, the same exact reasons you ride a bike, we skate. The hazards you face on a bike, we also face on skates. The hatred you face for spandex, we also face. Now we have to add that cyclists hate us too???? . When I skate (or bike) I stay all the way to the right- yes I need 6 feet wide but we also know the lingo (on your left, slowing and hand signals) I am polite and make sure to stay as far over as I can. Now a lot of cyclists are less than polite and you will also find some cyclists and skaters who are in a real daze and are menaces to all out there. But don't lump us all in that category. You don't like it when based on a few assholes people say "all cyclists run red lights" just because some idiot skater ruined your day.

You really need to cut us some slack as we are you 100%. we indentify totally with you- we are one and the same. Share the love, share the road.

Biker does not equal Cylist. Rollerblader does not equal Inline Skater, especially speedskaters.

As someone who competes in both sports, truts me when I say there are inliners who take up no more space and have no swinging arm syndrome. Us speedskaters often train with pro cyclist and we have a great relationship. There are stupid people on both sides for sure. Just don't paint us with the same brush.

And lastly, the fruitbooter comments. How uncreative. Must piss you off when us "fruitbooters" are passing you at 35mph.

really you did a great job of illustrating their unpredictable nature, but neglected to mention the ubiquitous iPod, which renders them even more oblivious to their surroundings.so many thanks for this reviews Cheap Cosmetics

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!