In a police lineup, he could be mistaken for a grizzled wino. His enigmatic demeanor was sexy — when he was a brash, insouciant songwriter in the ’60s and ’70s. But now that he’s in his 60s and 70s, it seems more like the grumpiness grandpa exhibits when grandma won’t let him have a second slice of cheesecake.

The class clown is operating under the delusion that he’s the class stud.

[6] DON IMUSFake cowboy, real racist

Long before he called the (predominantly black) Rutgers womens’ basketball team a bunch of “nappy-headed hos,” this leathery talk-show troll established himself as one of the ugliest faces in a medium that prizes them.

[5] HOWARD K. STERNProfessional widower

We understood the zillion-year-old billionaire: Anna Nicole Smith would sleep with anything with money. But her dalliance with this glassy-eyed, salamanderous cretin forced Americans to re-calibrate Anna’s standards: she’d screw anything with . . . kidneys? At least she was smart enough not to have a baby with him.

[4] KARL ROVEWhite devil

Slimy puppet master, cruel politico, and skin-crawlingly awkward rapper. We’d love to sentence this genius to five years of hard labor as Barney Frank’s cabana boy.

[3] FLAVOR FLAVPublic Enemy

Here’s a thought that kept us company while we were compiling the list. You know the white, pasty flakes of sputum that collect at the corners of Flav’s mouth? (Flavor crystals, we’ve taken to calling them.) Where do those go when he makes out with his ladies?

[2] THE FAT GUY FROM BORATFat Guy from Borat

Repeated viewings of the scene in which Ken Davitian goes cheek-to-hairy-cheek with Sacha Baron Cohen’s face have been proven to cause sterility in lab rats. So feel lucky that it merely makes you want to rip your eyes out of their sockets.

[1] DONALD TRUMPLoathsome billionaire

It’s not the greed, the preposterous comb-over, or the public bullying that turns women off any more: it’s the pursed lips and the scrunched, pineal stare. Actually, scratch that: it’s still the hair, the greed, and the bullying.

Interview: Mitch Fatel Given that he was once an intern for Howard Stern, it's not too surprising that comedian Mitch Fatel is all about clits and tits, and assorted lady bits – not the stuff that feminists would gleefully shave their legs over.

Hemp — the law, the musical When liberal congressmen like Barney Frank begin co-sponsoring bills with libertarians like Ron Paul, there must be something funny in the air.

Smoke screens What does it say about America that marijuana movies are a hot genre right now, perhaps hotter even than in the heyday of Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong’s 1978 Up in Smoke ?

Back to the garage In a perfect world, it would have been Little Steven Van Zandt’s channel, rather than Howard Stern’s, that prompted hundreds of thousands to sign up for Sirius satellite radio.