CAMPUS VOICES: Trust the process of fraternity and sorority recruitment

12/6/17 9:00am

I was dropped by the sorority I wanted to be in and I’m still okay.

As recruitment quickly approaches and campus starts to buzz about sister dates and 110 percent pins, I start to think back to three years ago when I was an anxious freshman preparing for the recruitment process. Unlike what everyone had told me, I did not go into recruitment with the most open mind. I had been meeting lots of girls in a sorority on campus (let’s call the organization “Gamma”).

Naturally, I had started to see myself in Gamma because I loved everyone I had met in their organization and I thought they loved me. Everyone was so cool and I was really excited about being friends with all of them.

I remember the first time I met my recruitment counselor she had us rip sheets of paper with the names of all the sororities and their supposed stereotypes in order to go into the process with an unbiased opinion. But like I said before, I did not listen.

I was consumed by the idea of becoming a Gamma. I really did not think about recruitment as a holistic process but instead as an end result. All I could picture was me running down the hill on bid day hugging my new sisters in Gamma and being one of them.

But then reality hit — on the third day of recruitment Gamma had unexpectedly dropped me. I was crushed. I wondered how and why this could’ve happened. What could I have done differently? Why didn’t they like me? I even wondered if I should drop out of recruitment.

Thankfully, this time I listened to my recruitment counselor. She encouraged me to not question myself and what had happened but look forward to what could happen. She gave me another sheet of paper and had me write Gamma on it and told me that this time I should rip it and believe that it’s all going to be OK.

After I told her my thoughts about bid day, I was pretty sure I was going to drop out. She said, “I want you to picture bid day with an organization who loves you for you.”

Then she asked me to think about why I wanted to be in a sorority in the first place — philanthropy, friendship and community. She reminded me Gamma was not the only organization that had these things, each of these organizations and non-Greek organizations alike have them.

So I decided to stick it out and stay in the process — which ultimately ended up being one of the best decisions of my life. On bid day, unlike I had imagined I didn’t really know any of the girls at the bottom of the hill, but everyone was so excited to see me and hugged me like I was their best friend. Everyone had been telling me to stick with it and that I would find my people. I am so happy I listened.

I thought I knew what was going to be good for me at the time, but by trusting the process I got what was the best for me. My current organization brings me so much joy — I really cannot explain my love for the girls. I live with three people in my organization and I’m so grateful for that. I would not have met so many people otherwise if I would have dropped out.

And one of the best parts of the process is I’m still friends with many of the Gamma girls, but over time I realized I do fit much better in my organization. Looking back at recruitment now as a senior, I think I’ve realized that my freshman year I thought getting into a sorority was everything.

Now, what I have come to realize is a sorority is just another part of your college experience. It’s not the end of the world if you get dropped. You just have to show resilience and be confident in how amazing you are — even if someone cannot see that after a 10-minute conservation.

We are fortunate enough to go to one of the best universities with so many chances for students to find where they belong. Greek life or not, you’re going to find your people here at Elon. I truly believe that.