Update: I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about this issue. I am taking the regalia back to school today to try to get an exchange, but I’m very worried that there simply won’t be any clothes in my size. Here’s how I imagine the conversation will go:

Me: This gown doesn’t fit. I’d like to exchange it for a larger size.Salesclerk: There are no larger sizes.Me: You’re saying that you don’t have a single gown that fits?Salesclerk: That’s what I’m saying.Me: Surely, I’m not the largest person to go to commencement.Salesclerk: As far as I know, you are.Me: What do you suggest I do?Salesclerk: Stay home. I don’t know how much weight the stage can handle.

Update 2: I just swapped out my robe for a bigger one. There was no fuss and no drama. Sometimes I get worked up over nothing.