Travel Tips for Introverts

It's just about summertime, and for a lot of us, that means travel time.

Do you like traveling alone?

Traveling solo is one of life's pleasures, for me. Solo trips are adventures not only into the world, but into oneself. They test our resourcefulness, our tolerance for the unfamiliar, our ability to stay open to whatever the world throws in our path, even if it's just conversation with a stranger.

But traveling solo doesn't appeal to all introverts. If it's not for you but you have no one in particular to travel with, you might consider joining a tour. I know, I know. The very thought makes introverts recoil, but I'm going to suggest you rethink. Believe it or not, if you do it right, it's not horrible.

My career as a professional introvert was launched when I published an essay titled "Confessions of an Introverted Traveler." As well as my career as an introvert, I also have a career as a travel writer and I'd like to draw on both to share some tips for enjoying both kinds of travel, and banishing any bugaboos.

Solo travel

There's a ton of information out there by and about solo travelers, so I"ll just give you some very basic thoughts.

First of all, don't listen to people whose minds are blown by the very idea that you would travel alone. They're just expressing their own fear and discomfort. Lots and lots of people travel alone and wouldn't have it any other way. There's nothing peculiar about it.

Don't pack more than you can easily carry yourself, no matter how you're traveling. With no one to watch your luggage while you run to the restroom or check what track your train leaves from, being overly burdened is a drag, and, frankly, unsafe. You can't keep an eye on your surroundings when you're wrestling too much luggage.

Take care of yourself. My credo (and this goes for solo or not-solo travel): Eat when you're hungry, drink when you're thirsty, rest when you're tired. You want a sad and lonely pity party? Get sick when you're traveling solo.

For many people, meals are the toughest part of traveling solo. To a certain extent, it's simply something you get used to. I have found that breakfast and lunch are no big deal, since many people eat those meals alone, but dinner can feel awkward. If I'm feeling that way, I might eat early, when restaurants are likely to be less pissy about a solo diner taking up a table (I judge restaurants harshly that don't treat solo diners well) and when the room isn't filled with couples and families. Or I eat at the bar, where I can chat with the bartender and other patrons if I'm in the mood. I've tried to wean myself from always burying my face in a book while I eat because it cuts me off from the experience. Sometimes I just sit and watch. For that reason, outdoor cafes can be particularly nice; all the more to look at.

If you find yourself in need of some interaction, sign up for a walking tour of a city or a docent-led museum tour. Sometimes, if you're feeling disconnected and at loose ends on a solo trip, a little conversation is all you need.

If you fear loneliness, try inventing a project for yourself to engage with. While I don't recommend spending the entire trip with a camera pressed to your face, choosing a photo theme for yourself (interesting doors, cats of the world, silly signs) causes you to look around differently. If you're an Instagram kind of person, it also allows you to share your experiences with others in an immediate way. Or maybe you want to keep a journal or sketchbook (I've done that), or start a collection of the weirdest postcards you can find in each place (here are some from my collection). Sometimes giving yourself a job helps keep the lonely part of your brain busy.

Group Travel

Start the adventure right: Research group travel carefully. A tour bus full of first-timers to Europe might include a lot of mighty friendly folks who love making friends. And I don't mean that in a good way. A tour sponsored by a local art museum, for example, might be more likely to attract a lot of thinky people with whom you can connect. (I'm intrigued by the TCM Classic Cruise, a shipful of old movie fans. Too pricey for me, but it looks fun.)

Active travel—cycling, rafting, walking tours—tends to attract a wide range of people, including loners who are in it for the support a tour company provide, such as luggage handling. Plus, if you're cycling town to town, for example, it's easy to break off from the group en route when you need head space.

If you can manage it, get your own hotel room. Most tour companies charge a single supplement, which is a bummer, but it can make a huge difference to your enjoyment to be able to go into your own room and close the door at the end of a day.

When I'm traveling with a group, I like to set my alarm for an hour or two earlier than necessary to meet up for the day's activities. That way, I can eke out quiet time alone. Sometimes I just hang around the hotel room, perhaps even ordering room service. Sometimes I go out and explore in the quiet of morning.

Strike out out on your own for meals from time to time, even if it's just with street food and a park bench where you can sit and be a flaneur. (I do that a lot when I'm traveling alone.) Just be sure to let your tour leaders know, so they don't stress out looking for you. Similarly, if there are evening activities every night, pick and choose which you'll participate in. This is your vacation, you're not obligated to participate in everything if you don't want to.

Hello Sophia, I've been an introvert and a traveller all my life. But I didn't know I was an "introvert traveller" till recently! And it has changed my entire perspective. I have always loved to travel on my own but now I feel more justification in my reasoning for doing so.

Although I love it I have experienced moments where I wished there were alternatives and an idea was born that turned into Sacred Introvert Retreat Tours. I have always tried to find group travel experiences I thought I could fit into but there were none. So, I have created a tour for introverts by introverts (a hybrid of retreat and tour actually!) with the first departing in May of 2015 to the UK. Anyone who is interested can check out the website www.SacredIntovert.com

I also feature your book on the site too Sophia so I hope you will have a look.

My hope with Sacred Introvert Retreat Tours is that it will grow over time to include many more locales and experiences. And through it introverts who never thought to travel before will feel like they have found a place where they will be able to be themselves and also be around like minded souls. Hopefully friendships will blossom

this article is interesting. when I was 28, I went on a tour group for 17 days with 21 people in Asia. it was not that bad but I would not have minded traveling alone. when our tour guide wandered off, I was the tour guide because I was the only person who studied the linguistics where we can survive. this was before we had rosetta stone. i generally prefer to travel alone and am not fond of group travel. I like the idea of living alone as well. I know people who think I am nuts because of this but oh well. all i can tell them is thank you.

It has never, ever once occurred to me to travel for the purpose of meeting people. I thought traveling was to go to new places and cultures and learn and experience things.
I have been doing a lot of traveling by myself this year for my job, driving all over Montana and speaking to local churches. I love being able to stop when I want and take pictures or check out an antique store or go where I want to eat, and I especially love not being constrained by someone else's itinerary and plans. The hardest part is that the churches tend to put me up, and sometimes it's at a stranger's house. I have made good friends that way, and I have also longed dearly to just have a hotel room away from people after tiring travel and public speaking.
Now I am about to drive 1400 miles from Montana to Missouri, and I am greatly looking forward to the drive. I am taking my time, spreading it out over four days, stopping with friends along the way. I think it will be charming.
Then in less than a year I will be moving by myself to Europe, where I will be teaching in an international Bible school. I hope to travel all over Europe, and I hope that I will find someone very congenial I can sometimes travel with and also that people won't freak out by my occasionally desiring to travel across the continent by myself.

I've been having a grand time reading the comments from 2009 on the travel post you linked to above. That was the year I, and probably a lot of people, was introduced to psychological and neurological studies into introversion and extraversion, through the book you mentioned and through "Introverts In The Church" by Adam S. MacHugh, and it's so interesting to see how much has changed and how much has stayed the same.

So, I've been on an introvert kick since I stumbled across your book "The Introvert's Way" in a local Books-A-Million, and to be honest I have been having trouble dealing with my introverted tendencies. Like you say, growing up in an extroverted society forces you to be more outgoing and forces you to pull all your energies to the utmost extreme. Well, it wasn't until college (after this summer I'll be starting my Senior year) that I finally accepted my introverted side. For the past six or so years that I have taken Myers-Briggs tests (I'm studying Psychology as a minor, Theatre as a major) my personality has fluctuated on all scales except Extraversion. I always come out an extravert. Until this past semester. Suddenly there was tension when I received Introversion as a result; it caused a lot of rumination. Come to think of it all of my friends are more introverted, big crowds freak me out if I'm too close, and loud, needy people get on my nerves if they make small talk for too long. I've been binge-reading your blog posts for the past six days on my off-time, and it has opened my mind to accepting that now I know why I've always felt pressure in social settings, why I've always preferred reading in silence while my parents constantly harass me with, "How can you sit there reading for hours?" "What is that book?" "It must be awfully nice because I've been trying to talk to you for the past ten minutes." "OHHH! Have you seen the movie?" The list goes on. I'm in a relationship with the most introverted girl I've ever met, and part of me thinks she's absolutely perfect. When I compare our personalities, I realize I definitely need more stimulation than she does from others, so I've settled for now on ambivert with introverted tendencies.

As an ambivert, in traveling I have to sort of be a bridge between the introverts and extraverts. It's not a hard life because I recharge respectively when needed. When I went to London my roommates were both introverted, and we got back to our room and did our own thing every night - journaling, blogging, listening to music, or silently watching a television show before going to sleep. Now, being with a few extraverts while traveling, you have to know that they can only be in a place for so long before they need to move on to the next site, next show, next exhibit. Fast traveling is great with an extraverted group, but make sure as an ambivert you keep the two groups separated at all times (most of the time) or an introvert will become threatened and lash out. Also, when an extravert begs to drain the energy out of an introvert with one too many conversations, an ambivert has to explain that the introvert NEEDS to go look at that random bird and go for a ten minute walk BY THEMSELVES. As an ambivert, drain my energy. I can handle it right now. The introvert cannot.

When my marriage ended in mid-life, I didn't know whether I would like travelling alone. At first, I just travelled with friends and family. But then I found myself spending more and more time on my own, and loving it. The freedom, the replenishment is amazing. And it's much easier to blend in, to not attact attention as a tourist, when I am on my own -- which I like very much. I always shudder when I see bands of tourists trooping around with their guide.

For me, one of the joys of travel is going to places where I speak the (non-English) language, or am learning it. Being on my own enhances this experience tremendously, as the people I travel with do not have my language skills. If I walk into a restaurant or store speaking English with a monolingual friend, it's impossible to get the staff to speak their own language to me unless they don't speak any English at all. But on my own, I find people are often delighted to allow me to practice their language.

As an introvert, I often find chit-chat very difficult and draining. I especially hate making small talk with waiters, hotel staff and the like. But if the conversation is in a foreign language, suddenly even the most mundane of topics becomes interesting to me and my reluctance to chat melts away! I have had many memorable encounters travelling. For example, last year I struck up a conversatio with a craftswoman n her shop, which turned into an e-mail friendship that continues to this day (in her native language, not mine!).