Reasons why the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board should be abolished, and The Almighty Liquor Code completely overhauled and rewritten, to reflect over 80 years of change since Repeal.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Le Kiosque Nouveau est arrive!

Oh, at last, at last! The PLCB's long-threatened wine kiosks have arrived!

And the Harrisburg Patriot-News very obligingly sent reporter Liam Migdail-Smith to try out one of the two prototypes. He chose the one at the Wegmans on Carlisle Pike in Silver Spring Township, and filed this report. The paper's Joe Hermitt also video'd the experience, which you can watch above.

It's amazing, really. These awesome new wine kiosks let you buy one of FIFTY THREE different wines (even more than the fifty originally promised!) just by...

Making a selection by touchscreen(better than talking to a State Store System clerk, right?)

Activating the breathalyzer by touchscreen (don't get flustered when you forget this step, like the reporter did)

Blowing into the breathalyzer to prove your BAC is below 0.02 (maybe you'll get instructions too; and yes, that is much lower than Pennsylvania's legal limit; the PLCB's just being careful about your safety (and their liability))

Waiting for the breathalyzer results (don't look nervous, you're fine! ...although the PLCB does admit "It is possible the machine may detect alcohol when a consumer hasn't been drinking, but the PLCB will err on the side of caution." No worries, though, she'll be right...s'long as you're buying Yellowtail, right, mate?)

Standing still in front of a video camera so a PLCB employee at a remote site can confirm you are the person on the license (they probably hired really attentive folks for this, so don't think about how mortifying a 'false positive' would be at this point; they will probably shred your license, though...)

Moving to the correct door (apparently identified by flashing lights; don't worry about the wrong one lighting up, because no one else can use the damned thing until you're done already, buddy!)

And about two minutes after you started (assuming nothing in this chain of events goes wrong), you can pick up your bottle of wine!

That is SO COOL! What will they think of next?! They're probably working on sending wine to your house by pneumatic tubes or little trolleys on overhead wires or something!

People in other states are making fun of us as you read this. Hell, people in this state are making fun of us as I write this! Want to read something funny? Check out the official PLCB press release on these technological marvels. My favorite part? "The entire process will take less than 20 seconds." A close second: "The kiosks are a way to give our customers an added level of convenience in today's busy society." HA!

Ask yourself some questions.

First, and most important, what is so important about "control" that makes this better in any way than what they do in a majority of states: buy bottles of wine right off the grocery store shelves?

Second, think about your elderly parent trying to buy a bottle of wine from this thing. Now...think about them trying to buy one while you're waiting in line behind them, just wanting to get a bottle and go home, because there's only going to be one per store. Like that picture?

Next, think about why no one seems to mind that the major investors on this single-bid contract are major political donors?

Then think about this: the PLCB says they're not paying for the kiosks, that Simple Brands LP (no link given because they have no website...and isn't that odd for this ostensibly "hi-tech" company?) is making money in other ways: the advertising on the kiosks, for instance, and...hey, wait a minute...how do the wines that get into the kiosks as your only choices get picked? The PLCB says they're picking them, but that would seem to be a problem for "ad revenue." Is this a slotting fee scenario? Because I thought that was illegal for booze. Far as that goes, what's Wegmans get out of it? The lure of the kiosk? Garces Trading Company, anyone?

Oh, and ask yourself this: what kind of smart-ass answer will the kiosk give you if you tell it you'd like a nice bottle of cabernet franc?

Finally, after you've asked all those questions, ask yourself this: isn't it time you wrote your legislator and told them that they should support Mike Turzai's bill to abolish the State Store System?

That's Mister Hater to you, Ron. But please, tell us, what's so lovable about the kiosk? The ten-step method? The huge selection? The twirl for the camera? And wouldn't you really love just picking a bottle off the shelf even more?

I've already writen my state legislators about Turzai's bill. What I can't believe is how hush you are over it...you should be dancing in the streets and shouting from the top of Mt Davis for everyone to support this law because it is "what we want".

Also, as far as the kiosks are concerned...I'd feel so awkward using one.

Hey, why stop here: if you're so happy about the state owning booze retail, why not pass legislature that makes the state own all beer retail AND all taverns! It would likely pass muster under the 21st Amendment; how'd you like to have all bars turn into State Drinking Lounges?! Wouldn't that be GREAT!

"The State Store System makes the State money" -- there's so much wrong with that statement that I don't even know where to begin.

Rich, I have posted about it, and mention it when it's appropriate. I'm also trying to find a way to work with Rep. Turzai and other legislators on the project. The natural thing, and the thing Senator Rafferty is doing with Sheetz on his 6-pack bill, is to find industry allies. But the booze companies are scared to cross the PLCB; if the bill doesn't go down -- as it likely won't, let's be honest -- the PLCB has an all too easy path to revenge.

Why do people have this mentality that the state SHOULD be making money? If the state acts like a business then logically like any business they would like to maximize their profits. In the private sector, this is a good thing. Where there's money to be made, competition comes in and prices go down as quality of product goes up. The problem with the government wanting to make money is that they force their customers to buy into a product (state stores, taxes, etc.). The government is motivated to get as much money from you as they can. You can decide where to spend your money for private business. The government forces you to pay them. Let's look at it another way, 48 other states have private liquor stores. Do any of them (try looking) have these convoluted kiosks? No, private business would only have them if they were more cost effective and convenient for the customer. This speaks volumes to how terrible the state store system is.

Okay, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Even when I was stationed in the deep south where alcohol sales are not permitted on Sundays, I could go to any grocery store for a bottle of wine/6 pack of beer. Having grown up in CA, its taken me forever to get use to the archaic, neo-prohibitionist liquor laws here with regards to buying beer and wine. Now this? .02? That means if I've had one drink within 3 hours of using this machine, it won't sell to me.

Two minutes? Compare that to the two seconds it would take to simply pull a bottle off the shelf if we didn't have this asinine state sales system. SNAP! That's a massive FAIL for the wine kiosks, baby!

A bunch of political hacks trying to save their jobs. I can see the lawsuit now when the State of Pennsylvania refuses a product to a person of legal age because the 1.) License doesn't scan, 2.) the idiot on the other end can't read a passport, a legal form of ID. 3.) Military Common Access Cards (another legal form of ID) won't work in the machines. 4.) Only 21 states use a magnetic stripe on their licenses which means that residents of 29 states will be denied. 5.) the breathalyzer requirement is not what the law currently says.

This will fail as miserably as the PLCB does at "control" being that PA is 6th in population but 4th in alcohol fatalities.

Great post Lew. Thought you might be interested in joining some Philadelphia people for some discussion on the State later this month: http://www.philadelphiacontingent.org/calendar/13970563/Hope to see you there!

Where are you, Lew? Turzai is prepping to introduce the Privatize the State Stores Bill. We need you to rally the troops! What do you need us to do, how do we organize, who do we contact? Oh captain, my captain now is the time to give us some guidance.

Well, I can see how people are amused by this thing because it is a Rube Goldberg-ish way to get a bottle of wine.

Of course in real life, I'd rather just hand a cashier my ID, my purchase and some form of payment and be on my merry way....I'll stop at that crazy gumball machine on the way out of the store and amuse myself that way instead.

A recent pennlive comment points out what the newspapers and tv don't care to report. The LCB says that these kiosks are provided free of charge. But the LCB pays for everything else. They decide what to stock, how much to stock. They pay clerks to restock (and sometimes man) the machines. They oversee every transaction remotely. So we taxpayers pay for the people on the other end of the camera, the logistics, the fuel, the bandwidth... Anyone feel like asking how much THAT costs?

Four new bills from the House to tear down the PLCB's Wall. What will happen to them?

Needed: passion for privatization

"...there was [in 1997] no overarching passion within the General Assembly, or in the public at large, for privatization. Unless and until there is a general hue and cry, it is very unlikely there will be a privatization initiative that succeeds." -- John E. Jones III, former PLCB chairman

If you've got your own reasons...

Send them to me. I'd love to hear from you, and take those ideas and blend them with mine. And if you're in favor of the continuing existence of the PLCB, well, send me that, too. If it makes sense, I'll publish; if it doesn't, I'll publish it also, but I may have to disagree with you.

Privatization's in play: what are your biggest concerns?

If the Legislature ignores the will of the citizens and goes the "modernization" route...what would you most like to see change with the State Stores?

Why do you buy booze in other states?

What I like most about the PLCB is:

The first thing I'd change in the Pennsylvania Liquor Code is:

When I buy wine at a Pennsylvania State Store:

When booze sales are privatized in PA, State Store clerks can be:

The wine and spirits selection at the State Stores is actually better than at the average "liquor store" in other states. This makes me feel like:

What factor is most likely to block any meaningful reform of Pennsylvania's Liquor Code?

If the legislature suddenly did away with the case law tomorrow, and any distributor, bar, or tavern could sell any amount of beer they wanted to, the most likely unintended consequence would be:

Polls show that over 80% of Pennsylvanians are opposed to the case law -- even MADD doesn't support it -- yet a six-pack sales bill still languishes in the Legislature after over a year. Why do your elected representatives continue to thwart your wishes?

What do you think of the proposed new name for the State Stores: Table Leaf?

Which PLCB gaffe really pissed you off over the past two years?

Blame the PLCB, the Legislature, or Rendell: things seem to disappear around the PLCB. Which one of these do you miss the most?

I buy beer at Pennsylvania supermarkets because:

The new wine kiosks are

The most important reason for liquor store privatization in PA is:

Why won't you write to your state reps to tell them you're in favor of privatizing the State Stores?

What aspect of the PLCB's "Anything But Privatization!" program sounds most ridiculous?

PJ Stapleton and Joe Da CEO have presided over an incredible festival of FAIL. As PA taxpayers, we are the 'shareholders' of this 'business.' How do you vote?

HB11, the current proposal for privatization, has serious flaws. How do we proceed?

Are you going to stop buying your booze in the State Stores and take privatization into your own hands?

Governor Corbett's supposed to be working on a new privatization bill. What is the most important piece of that bill for you?

Why do you think the PLCB created their house "Table Leaf" wine brand?

Will Joe Conti still be PLCB CEO by next spring?

The Pennsylvania State Stores should be replaced by:

What is your opinion on Governor Corbett's privatization plan?

If you could hit the re-set button and set up booze sales any way you like in the Commonwealth...what would you do?

How about we talk about that Police-Enforced Monopoly. Got an opinion?

When the Senate finally moves on privatization, they'll most likely

To get any privatization, we need to get a bill through the Senate, agreed to by the House, and signed by Corbett by 6/30. What's most likely?

Politics and general dysfunctionality of the Legislature has delayed a vote on privatization. Will anything happen in the brief Fall Session?

New Democratic Governor, Republican Legislature...what's that mean for liquor privatization?

The House & Senate are moving to normalization. What might Gov. Wolf NOT veto?

After The Veto...are things over?

What should the GOP majority offer Gov. Wolf in exchange for liquor normalization?