Absolut Blogshit is made of a unique blend of natural bullshit flavors and sarcasm distilled from individuals grown in the rich fields of different countries. The distilling and flavoring of the bullshitting art is an age old tradition. However, pure bullshit has only been expressed through Absolut Blogshit since 2006.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Is there a hierarchy for shit?

What is the difference between horseshit, bullshit, dogshit, birdshit, lambshit, flyshit, etc?

Among all the different animals.. why did we pick bulls for our favorite art and sport: Bullshit?

I am sure you (as many other intellectuals) have been wondering about these rather meaningful topics and therefore, i am set to offer some insights to your quest:

In the early days, our ancestor-bullshitters were struggling to name their favorite sport; it was very clear to them that it had something to do with 'shit', so the only thing left to establish was whose or what kind of. Those interrogations were the driver to run a thorough assesment to define a shit's hierarchy or categorisation. The factors taken into account for the results were never brought to light, but that was obviously not necessary, as everybody knows we bullshitters trust each other's rationale when its time to do so.

Your inferences are correct. After the assessment, (somehow) Bulls were selected and a new era had started..

But what was behind that special selection?

a) As you may have noticed, bulls are quite impressive. Big, Strong and Powerful.. features that would obviously characterise (at least at certain crucial moments) anyone that can call himself a bullshitter. Not to mention they also truly characterise the effect that pure bullshit can have if managed appropriately.

b) Some years ago, this vegetarian-yoga duo movement was not really in vogue (at least not outside India), which clearly implies most of our ancestors were not into it, they seriously enjoyed a piece of big-fat-red meat, so a tribute to beef banquets was a natural thing to do.

There is another theory though that hints it was indian ancestors who picked bulls, and they did it because of bulls' close relation to cows. You know, bullshitting is considered the 1st national sport in India (yeah, even before cricket believe it or not!) so they had to name it after an important symbol.

In the end, there is not enough scientific evidence to prove that bulls made it first on that hierarchy or if the assessment revealed astonishing data about them. After all, lets face it.. being bullshitters we would certainly do even if we had picked mosquitos.

3 Comments:

Thank you Angie for this historical insight. I just want to point out one thing you forgot.

During the big depression during the 30s, and when starting to talks about bulls- and bear stock markets, it became evident that bulls would bring the happiness to people. Hence bulls were also chosen for our art, bullshitting, since it brings happiness.

Also, it could maybe have gone the other way and have been called mosquito-shitting, but as we all know, we have a lot to say (not too much important, but still a lot to say) and if we then had to say mosquito-shitting that would take sooo long time and reduce the time we could say other things.

Angie: The Indian ancestors bit is a bit close. Cows are considered sacred in India, and historically, India is a male dominated society - so thats simple then bull was naturally chosen.

Also 2ndly, I have also heard that the ancestors used cow dung a lot (like to build houses, you still will find this if you visit Indian villages). Now one smart male dominated Indian would have said, well cow dung is feminine, and males should always have an upper hand - simple the word 'bull shit' was coined.

Must have been because im so used to having bull results in my accounts that i dont think in those terms anymore..

Anyways.. Amit, i think youre making a very interesting contribution here with that ethymology. I definitely prefer to say 'bullshitting' than 'cowdunging'... i guess one could say im (sort of) male dominated too and i like it!