Sunday, July 17, 2011

Reflection

So tomorrow marks the end to the St. Thomas challenge. Let's just say I'm not too excited to step on the scale tomorrow morning. I know it won't say 150 and for that matter, I don't think it'll read 158 - the lowest I reached during this journey. However, no regrets. I promise to continue my blog and to achieve my goal. In retrospect, there are things that I could have done differently. I could have also taken the easy way out and made my goal much simpler, but I wanted to challenge myself and see what I could do. If 5 lbs is all I lost, I'll take it! That means I'm 1/3 of the way there. Since I'm a fan of rambling, I think that's what I'm going to do.

Looking back to New Year's Eve, maybe I should have realized then that 2011 was going to be a very testing year. Scott and I decided not to go out and celebrate. Instead, we opted for a quiet night in. Looking back, we had different ideas about how we wanted to ring in the New Year. Whereas Scott was alright with falling asleep at 10:30 way before the ball dropped, I wanted to have the traditional kiss at midnight while sending all my close friends and family the obligatory "Happy New Year" text. That night we went to bed angry at each other. It's a stupid thought, but sometimes I wonder if we would have been happy and cheerful as the ball dropped, maybe we wouldn't have been thrown so many curve balls.

Sometimes I feel like I talk too much about Scott. I can't help it! He's more than my boyfriend. He's my go-to person. Without him, I don't know who I'd call randomly for my stupid questions. He doesn't judge me and he's always been there any time I've needed him. We've already been through so much together, things married couples haven't experienced. Through everything, I feel like we've always had each others' backs. I've learned a lot in 2011 about our relationship that has really solidified that there is no one else I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Scott's mother is doing well and I plan to have dinner with them one night this week and share my Seattle visit with them. It's amazing to know how much Kathy has accomplished. Over the 4th weekend, she ran in her first 5k. Both of Scott's parents are planning to fly out to Seattle in August to visit him. Looking back on everything that happened this year, I still can't help but be amazed by her strength. Seeing the love shared between Scott's parents let's me know that that is the type of husband he will be. (Stop laughing at me, Scott! jk)

When my Dad had his heart attack in April, I couldn't help but feel scared. I was afraid I would lose my Dad. It was in that moment that I understood on a deeper level what Scott and his brother were feeling at the hospital in January. Things have changed in my immediate family for the better. I know I've said over and over that my parent's didn't live an unhealthy lifestyle, but there is always room for improvement.

Spending this week on vacation with my parents made me thankful. I had the opportunity to watch as my parents played in the ocean. Yes, I said played! I even got to watch them in a paddle ball match. The best part? My Dad running to return the ball and falling :) Why? Once he hit the sand I thought, "OH NO!" But as soon as he stood up laughing, I felt relieved that he was still around to be able to fall and get back up. It's taken some time to get him to stop saying that he has a "bad heart" but in his own time he has to accept what happened to him. Before we left for North Carolina, he got the verbal "clean bill of health" but decided until it was in writing, he wasn't going to push it.

How many people can say they packed a blood pressure cuff in their suitcase? How many families can say they had a "blood pressure party" while on vacation?

So tomorrow is the day. We'll see if the scale reads 1, 5, or 15 (ha) lbs lighter. I did this challenge with an eye on the prize but have learned there is a lot more to wellness beyond the physical kind. I know what challenges I will set for myself in the coming weeks. I know I want to will do another 10k before the summer ends. I have a lot of things to look forward to in the near future!

Not the final post I had planned out in my head, but when I get to typing/talking nothing really comes out as planned. :)