The Talks

This was suppose to be enough. Sufficient. It isn’t. I have decided to not talk,to my parents that is. They have their own shit going on and a million and one people who are always seeking their advice or people who just want to talk. I am one of them. No more. They need a break. They are stressed. Old. Tired. I am alone. This was meant to be enough. Blogging. It does not compare to the social interaction I crave. The talking. The back and forth. The spirit. I miss talking. To people. I miss the creases in their skin as they smile. I miss the wonderment in their eyes as they allow my story to envelope them. I miss the keenness in their lean when they can’t wait to hear what’s next. I miss that. I miss it. I miss people. I guess it’s true what they say,you don’t know what you’ve lost until its gone. I am not a talkative person but this honestly feels so crap. I am choosing to not share/speak to my parents because they have their own shit, and according to a friend of mine “I am a big girl and I can’t depend on my parents like I did before”. I get it. The thing is……my parents. They are amazing, and I rely on them because when I am lost, they will take my hand and guide me. They aren’t afraid to be honest with me, and since I’ve,myself,become a parent – we are so much closer. I like that. I love them. So forgive me if I am overly attached to the two people who came together to create me. Sue me for always wanting to talk to them. Curse me for making this decision. I know I’ll regret it. I already do