(Closed) My Mom stresses about everything!

So, I’ve been engaged for barely over 1 month, and she’s already stressed over multiple things.

We are having an engagement party on Saturday at FI’s parents place. It’s non-formal and we’re not expecting gifts, but a couple friends have mentioned getting us a gift, even though we said it’s not mandatory, as well as some friends are bringing food/helping. Future Mother-In-Law and I were talking about making thank you cards for those who contributed food or gifts. Her idea was to take a photo throughout the night with them, Fiance, and me and then make the photo into a card to mail them later.

I told my Mom about the idea, and at first she acted as though it was a cute and liked it. This was one week ago…….Today, I came home and she was in a quiet mood. I asked her multiple times if something was bothering her, and Fiance said he thought she was upset about something. She eventually told me that she didn’t like FMIL’s idea about the cards, and that she thought those who didn’t give gifts would feel left out as though we would be singling out the gift-givers for photos and no one else. I explained that we would be taking photos with EVERYONE throughout the night, not just those who contributed.

Anyways, it doesn’t sound like it’s a big deal reading it over, but my Mom is the quiet type who lets everything stew in her head until she makes it into a huge deal and starts crying about it. Really, it’s JUST A THANK YOU CARD. It’s nothing to get upset over. And, it’s not our wedding thank you card, it’s an engagement party (bbq/pool party).

I’m worried that over our 2 year engagement, it’s going to involve her in tears many, many times, and don’t really know how to deal with it.

My advice is to nip her bahavious in the bud now! Have a talk with her over breakfast one day about your expectations and her level of involvement.

A friend of mine went through something like this and they picked a super silly word, like “monkey pants” or something and any time the mum started going over board she’d use the phrase and they’d laugh it off. This strategy might not work with everyone, but for mum’s espeically, it’s easy to get carried away, so you need a way to consistantly ground her.