Learning Game: Reports from the Field

You’ve heard it before, looks don’t matter and money doesn’t matter. What does matter? Fun… Motherfucking fun… The guy who is having the most fun in the nightclub is the guy most likely to take the girl home. As long as he has some rudimentary skills, like knowing when to go for the kiss and when to go for the pull, he’s going to kick ass. This is really a massive 20% of the effort gets 80% of the result thing. If you can find a way to have fun your nights are going to go so, so much better. I’ve “known” this for a while but it’s only recently where I’ve started to consistently “live” it.

Why does having fun matter?

Because when you’re having fun the girl’s reactions don’t affect you. If she gives you a shit test you pass it without thinking.

Because you can do multiple approaches without it becoming a big deal. Rejections mean nothing if you’re happy with yourself and having a blast.

Because you increase the energy in the room and become a magnet. Other people see you’re having fun and they want to join in.

Because you feel good about yourself so the girl feels good about you in return.

How to have more fun in the nightclub?

The simplest thing is just go to venues that you like. If you live somewhere massive like NYC this is easy. For example, I have one favorite night club in Manhattan. Fucking love this place, it’s sick and I almost always have a fun time. Because of that about half of all the pulls I’ve ever gotten have come from this one place.

However, it’s not always possible to be somewhere you like. Hell, you might be somewhere you hate. Even though I generally like night clubs there are a couple that I really don’t like (but I go to because there’s so many girls there). In this scenario the best thing you can do is lower your criteria for what you find enjoyable. A snotty guy won’t have a good time unless everything is perfect. As a man striving to have fun you have to do the opposite. You have to enjoy yourself even when everything is shit, and there are some reframes that can help with that.

Instead of focusing on the lack of sets, look at the girls who are there and how lucky it is that they came out just to get approached by you.

Instead of focusing on the shitty music, laugh at how the bar owner is paying a guy to play music just for you.

Instead of lamenting how you’re packed into a hot bar like a cattle being shooed towards slaughter, be grateful you don’t live in bumfuck Alabama.

And so on.. Because even if you hate nightclubs, if you plan on getting good at game you’re going to have to find a way to enjoy yourself there. Look for the bright side and set such low standards for having a blast that you can pull it off every night.

How to maintain the fun vibe (state) for longer?

Good question (give self pat on the back). The obvious answer is to go out a fuck ton. The more you go out, the longer you can stay in state. Apart from that, these tips have helped me quite a bit.

1. Never stop approaching. I suppose that everyone is different, but for myself I recognize a noticeable (and often irrecoverable) crash in state if I go more than five minutes without approaching. Not only that, but after about five minutes it starts getting a lot harder to approach. So I’ve learned that it’s crucial to keep approaching. Doing an approach binge of three to five sets in less than five minutes can also build a fantastic mood.

2. Cut off negative thoughts immediately. This is akin to cutting down the oak sapling before it turns into a tree. As soon as your brain throws something at you like “tonight is not your night” or “no girls are going to find you attractive” or “don’t do that cool thing, people will judge you” you must immediately cut that thought off and replace it with “I’m awesome” or whatever helps you feel good. If you don’t cut off the negative thoughts immediately they grow stronger and more difficult to destroy, until your night is shot and you have to start over again tomorrow. Ouch.

3. Find a cool wingman. The number one thing I look for in a wingman is his ability to approach everything and his ability to have a good time. Pickup is ultimately fun and goofy. You get rejected, you get makeouts, you talk to twenty girls in a night, it’s a riot. The best wingman are the guys who you can bullshit and laugh with. Some guys (especially newbies) take things so damn seriously that’s it’s a fucking buzzkill and can seriously limit your potential for the night. If you have a serious wingman who you can’t share a laugh with, it’s time to find someone new. This can make a significant difference in how much energy you’re able to build in a night.

About Me

I’m 25 and going out quite a bit. When I started I was scared to approach, but things are better now. I’ve had sex in bathrooms, had girls tell me to kill myself, and everything in between. Find out more here.