Monday, August 29, 2011

It’s motivational Monday here on the zombie blog. I was searching for something to write about today and thinking about what has been keeping me motivated lately. As you know, if you have been reading along, I recently fell off the wagon, dusted myself off, and got right back on. This is the point, in previous attempts and losing weight and getting healthy, where I would have quit. I didn’t quit though. I simply learned from the experience and kept on going.

Why? What is different this time? A couple of things are different. The first is, I just feel more committed than I did before. It’s not that I don’t want to look awesome, or get my fertility under control, because I do. Mostly though, I want to live and be healthy. The second thing, is that there is a horde of the undead chomping at my heels if I slow down. That will keep anyone moving, believe me! I don’t want to become one of those mindless eating machines that shuffles through life single mindedly looking for the next meal! Besides, you never get invited to the good parties when you’re a zombie.

The most important difference though, is a solid support system though. This time, there are other people on the journey with me who are as committed as I am. My best friend got me started because she was already doing Weight Watchers and it was working very well for her. Her mother, who is another awesome lady is doing it too and finding success! I started the program and fell in love with it. It works. Soon after I started, I was able to get my husband going on the program. It’s working for him too.

My journey has been made easier by having someone who lives with me and goes through the same eating minefield that I do every day. My parents, whom we live with, are about as far away from us on the eating spectrum as you can get. It’s a challenge to open the cupboards and the freezer on a daily basis and be bombarded with things you aren’t going to eat. That doesn’t mean they still aren’t tempting. I don’t fault them for this, or anyone else for that matter. Just as I don’t assume they will try and change the way I eat, I’m not going to make them change the way they eat. Of course I want them to be healthy, but I have enough to say on this matter that I am going to save it for another post.

The heart of the matter is, my husband and I fell off the wagon together, and we jumped back on together. When I shed tears because I was disappointed in myself he wiped them away and reminded me of all of the tremendous victories I’ve had so far. My best friend showed me how easy it was to dust yourself off and keep going when she had a few days that set her back on the scale, and she told me how proud she was for gaining a little weight and getting right back to it. We are all about self sufficiency today. But trust me when I tell you, for something this big, you need a group to unify around you. You will need them, and they will need you. I’m not afraid to rely on those closest to me for help with this journey, and I hope they all know that I am here for them also.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Well this whole journey is about learning isn't it? Learning how to make positive life changes, learning what choices make me happy, learning how to be healthy AND happy, and of course learning how to avoid the zombies and their undead dominion.

Recently, I've learned quite a bit. I learned that while eating treats now and then helps keep me focused by reminding me that this journey isn't about suffering, that a three day binge is NOT ok. I also learned I am strong enough to recognize this and to dust myself off and keep right on going. I learned than even though it is hot and humid outside, I really do feel better when I walk in the evenings. On cooler days I even love when I get to walk during the days.

Today I'm going to put a learning experience into effect and see what happens. Not too long ago, we went out for sushi for lunch/dinner. I didn't over do it or over eat which was my first concern. I did however, got a bit over board on the points. Having fried foods in the sushi really did me in. So today I am going out to lunch with my wonderful supportive hubby. I plan to have California/Philadelphia rolls and Veggie rolls.

I'm making dinner tonight again also, so I know the points will be light. I'm confident in having an on point day!

Those zombies are falling behind again. "bbbrbrrraaaiiiiinnnnnssssss"

Yeah, keep on trecking zombies. You've got a long way to go to catch me. I've said it before, and I think it bears repeating. I don't mind someone staring at my butt, I just don't want them to be thinking "I want cheese on that" while doing it. Ha!

I also learned recently, that some new folks are joining us reading here on the zombie blog. Hi! I was thanked recently for sharing my personal journey. That really touched me. All I can say is... you're welcome and that it's my pleasure. I've taken so much from reading other people's stories, I hope I can give back in some way. I try to approach this all with a bit of humor and a lot of heart. If YOU need a cheerleader, just let me know. There more the merrier in the fight against the zombies!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I went on Safari this month. Uh huh. Did you know that the animals of the Serengeti are subject to the zombie plague as well? You know what is dangerous about that? Well, other than hot plains full of undead animals.... They are FASTER than regular zombies!!! I wasn't prepared. I didn't have my running shoes! I didn't even have a real gun! I just had some fancy moves I've picked up throughout this journey. So, I took some scratches and tumbles. I scraped my knees, and dirtied up my new safari gear.

No... not really. But they did catch me this month. I've had my first gain since starting the program. I know it's a natural part of the process, but it's still hard to swallow. I gained 4lbs exactly. My anniversary was on the 16th, My uncles birthday party on the 20, and my husbands birthday on the 22nd. That was just a lot of events all at one time. If I'm going to be honest, I was so busy being in love on my anniversary that I didn't even bother to eat properly. I went on a food vacation. I will NEVER do that again. Oh god... I feel so god awful for having done it. Also, it's been making the good choices, the ones I was making without even thinking, SO MUCH HARDER. So for my own peace of mind, I won't be doing that again.

Watch out for those zombies. They can be tricksie!

The bottom line is... I knew I was going to have a small gain. I tried to prepare myself for it and it didn't really work. Now, I am very very eager to have a good on point week and rack up some activity points. I earned 16 last week, which is a new high for me. So my aim is to beat that this week. I've been walking in the evenings when it cools down ever so slightly. My goal is to also start yoga back up again. I want to be and feel stronger. I could really use t hat sense of well being and being able to take care of myself. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm being tossed around in the wind a bit.

When you're fighting the zombie plague, you definitely want to know you have a sturdy safe house to retreat to. I want my body to feel like my safe house again. I think it might take a few weeks to get back to that feeling. That scares me. I need to trust myself and get right back on the plan and do what I need to do. Backwards progress just tends to terrify me. On previous 'diets' this would usually be the point where I gave up. I can't let myself do that this time though. Before this gain, I was 32lbs lost. That's amazing to me and I can't let it stop there.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

I have been quiet lately. That doesn’t mean that I have been slacking of or anything though. I, for some reason, have just been feeling quiet. It might be because I have just been concentrating on taking care of me for a while. In any case, I thought it was time to share some progress.

(On a side not, I’m happy with my typing progress. The entire top paragraph was typed, without error, while watching my husband dance to Pink’s Raise Your Glass)

We had some bad news, which I may or may not have shared. But Hubby’s internship came to an end and he wasn’t hired on permanently, so he is out of work again. It’s just a bad time to be looking for work, but that isn’t really news these days, is it. But something we struggle with continually is not falling into a depression over the situation we find ourselves in. We lost our house not too long ago and steady well paying work hasn’t been seen in well over a year now. We are lucky to have people we can rely on and a place to live, but lets not pretend the blah’s and sadness don’t creep up more than we would like them to.

I used to be an emotional eater. I’m a recovering emotional eater? I’m not sure what to call it. When I am sad, depressed, bored… I want to eat. But I’m not. Since starting weight watchers, I just feel like I somehow out of the depths of my soul or something, have pulled the ability to control myself. I’ve developed self control. That doesn’t mean that I don’t indulge now and then, but I do it because I want to and not because I am REACTING to the situation around me. The urges are still there though. And each day is a little bit of a struggle. Those of you who live in a household where you don’t control what food is around will be able to commiserate with me. When you have a sweet tooth, but don’t want to just binge on sweets, but the cabinets are full of cookies, cakes and donuts, it’s a special kind of hell.

I am persevering though. This Monday when I weighed in, I not only hit my 10% lost, but I hit 30lbs gone. THIRTY POUNDS… that’s a toddler. A TODDLER, PEOPLE! I posted it on Facebook. And some of my friends asked for a photo. So I asked hubby to take one of me. As I was loading the picture onto my computer, I decided to clear the memory card and sort all of my pictures.

Oh. My. GOD. I found pictures from before I started WW. They are pictures from the beginning of the year, around my birthday. I almost cried. I feel so sorry for the girl in those pictures. I barely recognized me. I finally realized that no, I’m not imagining my clothes are fitting loser. I’m not imagining that I can actually see my smile better when I smile. I’m not imagining that I really CAN fit into that shirt that was too small at the beginning of the year. This is really happening. I am really making it happen.

It sounds silly I realize, but somewhere in the back of my head, all of the little results I was seeing were because I wanted to see results. They weren’t because my efforts were actually paying off. I knew the numbers on the scale were moving, but it’s hard to really put that into perspective for yourself.