Dr. Buss is Jerry, the visionary father who built the Lakers Empire. Jim is the current president of the Lucky Sperm Club.

Through the luck of the genetic draw, members are handed the keys to Daddy’s kingdom. That doesn’t magically make them as smart as their old man, though some have proven worthy.

Bob Irsay moved the Colts to Indianapolis. Jim Irsay made them an admirable franchise. For every Irsay, however, there seem to be a dozen Hiltons.

At least that family had enough sense not to name Paris the CEO of the hotel chain. Jerry Buss should have just bankrolled a reality show for his son, anything to keep Jim away from the Lakers front office. Instead, he has indulged his son’s GM fantasies.

It’s not that Jim is the NBA’s worst executive. But even Paris Hilton would have had the savvy to avoid the Phil Fiasco.

Everybody knows Jackson and Buss didn’t get along the last go-round. That became obvious when Jackson retired and Buss purged every trace of Phil from the building.

He got rid of everybody from the scouting staff to the equipment manager. Brian Shaw was a front-runner for the coaching job and a Kobe Bryant favorite.

Buss went completely out of Laker loop and hired Mike Brown. We saw how that worked out.

They leaked his name, hoping it would appease fans who were dismayed their franchise was acting like the Yankees in George Steinbrenner’s craziest heyday. It appeased them to the point they were screaming Phil’s name at last weekend’s games.

Buss calculated that Jackson would turn down the job. That way he could say he at least tried to bring back the Zen Master.

Jackson was not only interested; he saw a chance to stick it to Buss. Depending on whom you believe, he wanted part ownership, personnel power, no road trips east of Phoenix and nightly foot massages from Jim.

It may have been excessive, but Jackson had earned that negotiating right. On one side of the couch you had 13-year NBA veteran with 11 championship rings as a coach.

On the other you had the former general manager of the LA Lazers. That was the indoor soccer team Jerry Buss owned in the 1980s. He let Jim run things, but who cared? It was the Major Indoor Soccer League.

The Lakers are not the Lazers. Jackson wanted until Monday to ponder the faux offer. After a handshake, he thought that meant he had until Monday to decide.

Kupchak said the Lakers never actually said they’d wait until Monday to move. They contacted D’Antoni, who admitted he was shocked to get the call.

Jackson was equally shocked to be awakened by Kupchak’s call Sunday night telling him he was out.

“Slimy,” is how he put it.

Now Jackson is slyly fanning the backlash. If he can’t stick it to Buss one way, he’ll do it another.

“I am gratified by the groundswell of support from the Lakers fans who endorsed my return,” he said. “It is the principle reason why I considered the possibility.”

Yeah, right. It was all for the fans.

Caught in the middle is D’Antoni. He didn’t connive his way into the job. He just happened to be the best coach available not named Phil Jackson.

The Lakers have too much talent not to make it deep into the playoffs.

D’Antoni will do fine once everybody gets healthy and used to each other.

He might even do better than Zen Master would have. That we’ll never know, though most Lakers fans have already made up their minds.

They see Jackson’s 11 rings and naturally assume he was the best guy for the job. They see D’Antoni with zero rings and go into mourning.

As for the lead mourner, Buss is at least smart enough not to pick a fight with him.