Captain's Log, Stardate 49213.4 As more and more time passes here in the
Delta Quadrant, I worry that the crew is beginning to feel a deepening sense
of isolation. In the beginning we entered into this journey with the high
spirit of adventure, but now the realization is beginning to sink in that we
are all alone and opportunities to return home are proving quite elusive.

Tuvok: While the frequency has remained constant since we began our
observation, we have no guarantee that it has always been so or will
remain so in future.

Chakotay: If you want I can ask my Animal Guide, but there's really
nothing else to go on.

Janeway (peering at a readout): True, except for the fact that it's the
characteristic diffraction pattern that would result from a Kazonwarship
shielding itself behind the magnetic core. Red Alert, shields up!

Paris: They must have been monitoring us -- they're coming in for an attack
run!

Neelix (over communicator): Neelix here, Captain. I'm just going to make
some daiquiris. Would you prefer mirkleberry or pongo fruit?

Janeway: We're in the middle of a Red Alert, Mr. Neelix.

Neelix: So that would mean...mirkleberry?

Kim: We're being hailed, Captain.

Janeway: On screen.

Cullah: I wish to talk. We have discovered a newly-formed wormhole
leading to your Alpha Quadrant. You will never be able to locate it
on your own before it closes. Despite the fact that you are a woman
and therefore weak and stupid, I will reveal its location in exchange
for...what was it I wanted?

Janeway (placing hands on hips): Now I don't suspect your motives despite
the last 23 times you've broken bad on us, but your offer is just not
feasible. I'm sure that when you stop and reflect on the legal and ethical
implications such an exchange would--

Kim: They've closed the channel and powered up weapons. Wait!
There's a shield malfunction! Uh, no, it's okay. I think. On the other
hand, maybe not.

Janeway: Mr. Kim, are the shields working? I need an answer now!

Kim: Uh...my guess would be...

(The ship is rocked by a blast.)

Kim: ...no.

Janeway: Damage report!

Tuvok: The last blast appears to have caused a power surge which overloaded
our replicators. Other than that, the ship sustained only minor damage.

Torres: The power surge knocked out a light bulb. You see, I did a little
re-wiring down here and put all the bulbs in series with the warp core
instead of in parallel; it's an old Maquis trick to reduce energy
consumption. The only drawback is, if a light bulb burns out it breaks the
circuit and the warp engines won't work.

Tuvok: Such design is in flagrant disregard of Starfleet Utilities Code.

Janeway: Well, Tom, when a conductor is heated above 525 degrees, it begins
to emit energy in the form of light. If you run electric current through a
thin tungstenfilament, it makes a serviceable light source.

Neelix: Captain, do you realize that last blast completely collapsed my
souffle?! Your dinner's going to be late because I have to start all over
from scratch!

Janeway (rubbing her temples): Those were your friendly Galarans. They
fired on us as soon as we opened a communications channel.

Neelix: Well, er...they have become a bit touchy lately. Probably due to
that new communicable strain of phage that the last visitors brought in.

Janeway: Do you mean we'd have been infected if we'd beamed down?!

Neelix: Well if you don't have enough sense to use isolation fields in a
plague zone you certainly would be! Honestly, I don't know how you people
survived before you got me for a guide! Now about the souffle; I need some
more herbs and the closest source for wild juna is Larpon Prime.

Janeway: I think light bulbs are our primary concern at the moment.

Neelix: Well as long as we have to stop there for juna, I suppose we could
pick up some light bulbs too.

Janeway: I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager.
The Federation is a democraticconsortium of planets located in the Alpha
Quadrant. We believe in peaceful coexistance and non-interference with
other civilizations. Our mission is to explore new frontiers and contact
new forms of life.

Clerk (shrugging): I am Assistant Manager Mark Helmer of the Build-Rite
Hardware Emporium. Build-Rite is a privately-owned corporate franchise
located in the Delta Quadrant. We believe in buying merchandise in bulk
and offering discount prices. Our mission is to sell hardware, appliances
and basic gardening supplies.

Torres: This is it, Captain! We must make a purchase here!

Kim: She's right, Captain! This could be our only chance!

Tuvok: I would advise caution. We do not yet have an accurate means
to assess the quality of the merchandise.

Janeway: Hmm...perhaps you're right. Maybe we should purchase one
bulb and if it seems to work we could--

Chakotay: Damn it, Captain! It's time to abandon Federation protocol
and act like a Maquis. Mr. Helmer, we'll take TWO light bulbs!

Clerk (putting bulbs in bag): Okay, that'll be one twenty-nine.

Janeway: Do you take gold-pressed latinum?

Clerk: Sorry; no latinum and no out-of-quadrant checks.

Janeway (dismayed): There goes another chance to return to the Alpha
Quadrant! Oh well; we're bound to make it back one of these days --
especially if the ratings don't improve.

Clerk: Uh, look, if you really need them that bad just take them.

Janeway (warmly): Thank you; we won't forget your generosity.

(Enter Neelix and Kes.)

Neelix: We've got the juna. Let's go, people!

(Scene: The Bridge. Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok and Kim enter.)

Paris: Captain! I'm glad you're back; I've been picking up strange readings
from the other side of the planet but I can't tell what it is.

Kim (peering at a readout): Interesting.

Janeway: What is it?

Kim: It's something emitting energy at a constant--

Janeway (shoving him aside and peering at the readout): It's the wormhole
back to the Alpha Quadrant! Bring us in close, Mr. Paris.

(Torres rushes in.)

Torres: Captain!

Janeway: Are the new bulbs in place?

Torres: Even better; the replicators are finally fixed. While we were down
on the planet my staff completed repairs and used them to replace the missing
bulbs.

Kim: I thought events on DS9 had established that replicators couldn't
make light bulbs.

Torres: Uh, um...Voyager is equipped with the new Type 6 replicators.
Anyway since we made our own bulbs, we don't need these after all!
(holds out the bag from the hardware store)

(The wormhole swings into view.)

Chakotay: There it is.

Paris: Let's head on home.

Janeway: No. We can't go back until we return those light bulbs.

Paris (alarmed): It's starting to close! Captain, now's the time--

Neelix (from doorway): --for dinner! (He enters carrying a tray and
accompanied by Kes.) You'd better stop whatever you're doing because
souffle has to be eaten fresh from the oven.

Janeway: Mark Helmer gave us those bulbs, probably out of his own salary,
because he thought we needed them. It turns out that we don't. Can't you
see that our honor as Starfleet officers demands that we return them before
we go? Those two bulbs, small though they are, embody all the values that
we stand for, all that the Federation represents. Ask yourself this, Tom:
Is returning home worth the price of betraying that man's trust?

Paris: Yes.

Tuvok: That is the logical conclusion.

Neelix: You're not eating your souffle!

Chakotay: I'd give an arm and a leg to be back home right now.

The Doctor (on screen): Try it sometime; see how you like it. And now that
the new bulbs are in place, do you think one of you could come down here and
re-install -- (Janeway closes the channel)

Torres: Sure it's worth it. Heck, I thought we should have let the Kazon
toast those stupid little elves back on Ocampa. (to Kes) Er, no offense.

Kes: I'm not an elf.

Kim: I certainly think it's worth two little bulbs to get home.

Kes: I mean just because someone happens to be slim and fair-haired and has
delicate features, pointed ears, a lively spirit, an affinity for nature and
a few supernatural abilities, that doesn't necessarily--

Paris: The wormhole's almost closed!

Crew (in unison): GO THROUGH NOW!

Janeway: I want all of you to listen very carefully. I feel that as
your captain, it's my responsibilty to train you in a manner becoming to
Starfleet officers. I think if you look deep in your hearts, you'll realize
that your behavior just now was wrong.

Paris: Oh, great! The wormhole just closed and now the captain's mad at us
again.

Janeway: Now, Tom; I'm not mad at any of you but I am disappointed.
You should all know that whatever happens your captain loves you very much
and there is nothing you could say or do that would ever change that.
But there are times when it's necessary for your own good for me to take
disciplinary action. This is always the toughest part of being a captain
and I hope you realize that it hurts me a lot more than it hurts you.
Right now I think all of you should have the opportunity to reflect on what
you said and how it made me feel. (takes the souffle from Neelix) That's
why I'm confining you to your quarters without any supper.