Do you believe in censorship? In our country people are obsessed with the idea of freedom of expression. Many don’t believe anything is inappropriate if someone wants to say, show, or do it. As Christian fathers we must not allow our homes to have that same kind of anything and everything is allowed atmosphere. The Bible teaches us that we should only say those things that are good and profitable (Ephesians 4:29) and that we are to take even our thoughts captive to the will of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:3-6). Our children may think that we are intrusive, snoopy, untrusting, not respectful of their privacy, etc., but that is our job. If we are to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4), then we must correct them when they are wrong and discipline them when they need it. The only way to do that is to know what is going on with them. A few years ago when the movie Moulin Rouge came out and the main song from it was on the radio there was a young girl who would go around the church building singing phrases from the song. It had a catchy tune I must admit. The phrase she seemed to like best was part of the chorus and it was in French so she probably had no idea what she was singing. That is dangerous. I asked her mother about it and she didn’t know what it said either, but I did because I have had two years of French. I don’t know all the plot of the movie, but it was apparently promoting immorality and the phrase in the song was a loose woman (possibly a prostitute) asking a man if he would like to go to bed with her that night. That song was inappropriate for anyone, but certainly not good for a young Christian girl to be singing, yet that and much worse are on the radio regularly. We can’t just allow children whose consciences have not yet been fully trained to freely listen to all that is out there. I have a little quiz for you. I have a cd of kid’s Christmas songs. It has the following songs on it. 1. Santa Claus is Coming to Town 2. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer 3. Do You Hear What I Hear 4. I Want Candy 5. We Wish You a Merry Christmas 6. Jingle Bell Rock 7. Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree 8. A Holly Jolly Christmas 9. All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth 10. Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow Now the quiz question. Only one question with two parts: Which of these songs is completely inappropriate for young children to listen to and Why? I know there are some who do not celebrate Christmas at all and would not allow their children to have such a cd and I am fine with that as the head of your family you have to make those decisions for your house. There are some who would be offended by the fact that "Do You Hear What I Hear" is a somewhat religious song and either they don’t want to mix Jesus with Santa Claus or don’t want religious songs with instrumental music. Others would take offense to the fact that "A Holly Jolly Christmas" Uses the euphemism "By Golly". Others might not like Santa Claus or think that Grandma being run over is cruel. Those may all be valid concerns, but most people would not give a second thought to "I Want Candy". You may even now be asking, "Why should that one bother me?" Let me explain why that is quite probably the most offensive song and the one that should have been left off the disc. Regardless of your feelings about the other songs, "I Want Candy" is totally inappropriate for children. I am not a dentist or a health nut, I probably let my children eat more sweets than is good for them. If the song were about candy I would not have near the problem with it even if it might be showing a selfish, give me kind of attitude. The problem is that the song is a boy singing about how he wants a girl named Candy. Maybe you don’t have a problem with your 10-year-old boy wanting a girl, but I certainly do. You can’t tell by the title of things what they are about sometimes. Things that at first glance may seem innocuous have enough poison to kill after a few doses. As good fathers we should not give a snake instead of fish or rocks instead of bread (Luke 11:11). We must consider the books, magazines, music, internet sites, movies, TV shows, games, etc. that we are allowing our children to be exposed to every day. We need to periodically examine them again to see if there may have been something we missed or if perhaps we have learned more about something that could be poisonous to our children’s spiritual health.

As long as we are talking about protection there is a role similar to the one we looked at last week that is essential for every husband and father. We compared the father to the president or CEO of a company and the wife to the vice-president. There may be times when the vice-president does not fulfill the requirements given by the president and may need to be corrected. Other posts on the Momma Mondays have dealt with that side of it. Sometimes these shortcomings may even happen in public, but the correction should be handled discretely. Other times a husband and father may need to be encouraged by his wife to make corrections of his own failures, these should also be handled discreetly and with an understanding of the command structure God gave. Just because we are the heads of the family does not mean that we are perfect or never need to improve, but nagging is not an effective way for that to occur.

What I want to focus on, however, are the times when the husband and wife have discussed and agreed on some area of their life or even when the father has taken the stand for a certain course of action and the wife is faithfully carrying out the details of the plan. There may be others outside the family who disagree with the way the family is running its business. They may say things to the wife or even the children about how things are being done. They may gripe or complain, and particularly, when they see the wife putting into practice what the father has approved of as the proper path for the family, those outsiders who do not know the circumstances may blame the mother and say derogatory things to or about her. This is when we fathers need to protect the family, especially our wives. Maybe I am more sensitive to this topic because I was a preacher’s kid and I am a preacher, but just as a good CEO will take the praise that may be given he has to also take the blame; not pass it on down the line. I have always tried to make it clear that if my children are being disobedient or disrespectful I want to know about it. If they are doing something you don’t think they should be doing let me know. If you think there is a problem with how they are being raised let me know that, too. If you think they are unfairly disciplined, you can tell me about that as well. Don’t talk behind our backs, and don’t go whining to my wife or belittling her. She is doing what I want her to do so talk to me about it. Gentlemen I think most if not all of our wives would greatly appreciate having us step in front of her and the children and take the brunt of the attack since we are the ones who are expecting them to follow us. I really appreciated one woman’s attitude. She saw me disciplining my daughter for something that she thought was insignificant and said so to me. I explained that what she did not see was the fact that I had just told the child not to do what she was doing. Once I explained, she apologized and said ‘go right ahead I didn’t know that part.’ Regardless, I was going to go right ahead because I did know what was right. The truth is that sometimes others will not respond as this woman did, but will still think you are in the wrong. Remember, we answer to God and not anyone else when it comes to how our children are reared. Dads, I can’t stress this enough, even in the church if we are diligent in trying to please God with our families it will aggravate some. They may take it out on our families. We must shield them from those unchristian assaults.