I swear grandparents take classes in Payback 101. They want revenge for the terrible teen years you put them through. God uses grandparents to put parents in their place. Grandparents, who were once parents of steel turn into playdough. They gripe at you for not letting your children do the same things they forbade you to do as a child. "Let the kids jump on the beds" and "Let them eat dessert first" spill out in their "you-better-do-what-I-say" tone. Their raised eyebrows and pursed lips bring back memories.

Grandparents use the selective memory trick. They don't remember grounding you from the basketball game for not cleaning your room or making you eat the broccoli. They don't remember yelling at you for running through the grocery store. Grandparents think candy is the fifth food group. Money flows endlessly from their deep pockets. They believe children can never have enough toys. Every Saturday is a holiday. Defending your discipline techniques to a grandparent is fruitless. "But grandma lets me" spews out of your child's mouth after a visit to the grandparent's ''fun-house hall of fame''. Well, I'll have the last laugh. When I get to be a grandparent, I'm going to be the queen of fun!