Tuesday, January 05, 2010

12/31/2009- Where was I? Getting ready for a fabulous party? Cozying up with the little ones? Making resolutions? Nope, nope, and nope.

I was in the tiny OR at Kaiser Oakland, with Mr. WordyDoodles who was there to get a colonoscopy to remove some polyps, including one that's possibly pre-cancerous.

W.T.F.??? He's 33 years old. The doc who'd done the sigmoidoscopy the day before said he was the third person under 50 she had EVER seen with this issue.

I'm grateful that we finally caught this, after 15 years of Mr. W wondering about his GI tract and 15 years of doctors saying it's probably nothing. Probably they would have been right, except that he happened to lay on the wrong side of the stats.

I'm grateful-- but let me tell you, watching someone down a gallon of Colyte and then two laxatives after already not eating for 24 hours and already having done 3 enemas the night before, it's just wrenching. But that's what a supportive loving partner does, the whole patting the back and offering Jell-O and pouring the Sprite.

I couldn't believe we were actually discussing this. Suddenly, inexplicably, I was thinking of how annoyed I was that Edward of Twilight would never face cancer, pre-cancerous polyps, or even an upset stomach. Then I got to thinking about all the annoying little details of life that those characters Edward and Bella didn't experience:

- learning to latch a newborn on
- afterpains!
- diaper changing
- constant care of a newborn
- the toddler years (because Renesmee magically skips over that and has the gentle wisdom of a thousand year old sage, and never has any toddler moments. This part really annoyed me!)
- general aches, pains, true medical maladies (thirsting after human blood does not count)
- debts, costs, bills

Well, that simplifies things for those crazy newlyweds, huh? Grumble grumble. I really have to finish some actual literature. Still working on Atwood's Blind Assassin.