10 Conservatives We’d Love To Slap Some Sense Into!

Over the past four years, we have seen an onslaught of petulance, ignorance, and downright racism directed at President Barack Obama and the rest of the non-White race by a select group of American ignoramuses who are namely conservatives. Here, NewsOne has put together a top-10 list of conservatives that we would repeatedly give an open-handed serve to if we were playing for the Olympic volleyball team.

[ione_newsletter_signup]1) Herman Cain

There are very few Black men walking the earth who can make Uncle Tom look like Louis Farrakhan. Herman the “Chocolate Walnut” Cain is one of them.

During a radio interview, Cain suggested that President Obama was not a real Black man and that he could siphon African-American votes from the Commander-in-Chief if he were to square off against him in the general election. It also didn’t help that he insulted himself when taking a jab at the President’s intellect during a campaign stop in New Hampshire: “We need a leader, not a reader.”

There were several times during the campaign when NewsOne wanted to reach through the TV and backhand this clown. During a campaign stop in Iowa on Jan. 2, 2012, he told a small room of supporters, “I don’t want to make Black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money; I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money.” Really, Santorum? Why target Black people when, according to the Root, White people overwhelmingly receive the vast majority tax-funded government benefits?

Oh, and then there was that time that Santorum brought up Obama’s race when discussing abortion during an interview on Jan. 19, 2011:

“The question is — and this is what Barack Obama didn’t want to answer — is that human life a person under the Constitution? And Barack Obama says, ‘No.’ Well if that person — human life is not a person, then — I find it almost remarkable for a Black man to say, ‘We’re going to decide who are people and who are not people.’”

We bet Santorum, like Romney, found it remarkable that, that Black man won the White House running against established White male candidates — twice! We’d love to backhand some common sense in to this fool, but we believe Obama winning all of those female votes (and lots of White ones too) was a big enough hit to his ego.

3) Donald Trump

If there was ever a man we wish we could slap into perpetuity, it would be Donald Trump. This man has asked for Obama’s birth certificate so many times, you’d think he was Obama’s daddy. As much as NewsOne would love to slap “The Donald,” we don’t have to. During “The Apprentice,” that clown got slapped with White House power when the President interrupted his show to announce that he oversaw an operation that took down Osama bin Laden.

Guess what, Donald? SLAP!

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4) Allen West

If selling out one’s race were a full-time occupation, Allen West could have been Chief-of-Staff of the master’s “Big House.”

During a Fox News interview, he referred to himself as a “modern day Harriet Tubman,” leading Black folks off of the Democrats plantation. He also referred to Rep. Maxine Waters as a “plantation boss.”

“You have this 21st-century plantation that has been out there, where the Democrat Party has forever taken the Black vote for granted,” he said. “And you have established certain Black leaders, who are nothing more than the overseers of that plantation. And now the people on that plantation are upset, because they have been disregarded, disrespected, and their concerns are not cared about.”

Well, Mr. West, no one cares about you anymore. You were ceremoniously slapped out of Congress. So, please, go away, Negro. Just leave us alone.

5) Rush Limbaugh

Hmm. Where can we begin?

How about that time when he said, “Have you ever noticed how all composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?” Or the time when he said, [To an African-American female caller]: “Take that bone out of your nose and call me back.” You can get details on all of this man’s hate-filled commentary here.

Soon after Obama was elected, Rush rattled off that he wanted the country to fail. So, basically, his animus toward America’s first Black president is so intense that he wants all of American to sink. We wish Limbaugh would sink–for life! On that note, we’ll leave it to Wanda Sykes to break down how we at NewsOne feel about this loser. Watch below:

6) Joe Wilson

Only a man with an unmitigated sense of privilege and entitlement would scream “you lie” to the President of the United States as he is delivering the State of the Union address before a nationally televised audience. Who decided to take their disrespect to an entirely new level? Enter Joe Wilson (R-S.C.). For that alone, he gets slapped — like, three, four, and five times.

7) Newt Gingrich

Gingrich is one of those southern “good ol’ boys” who doesn’t think that he is racist; yet, he reminds us every once in a while that he is. In 2007, the Associated Press quoted him as saying that bilingual education is teaching “the language of living in a ghetto” during a speech to the National Federation of Republican Women.

And what is up with him and the rest of these conservatives being hellbent on linking Black folks to food stamps? Newt referred to Obama as “the food stamp President” during his failed run at the White House earlier this year. During a GOP debate, though, he denied that the comments were racist. In fact, he defended them. For this, he gets smacked for thinking we are stuck on stupid.

8) Mitt Romney

No matter how many times we’d slap Mitt Romney, we’re not sure he’d ever see the light.

During a phone call with supports after losing to Obama, he proved as much: “The Obama campaign was following the old playbook of giving a lot of stuff to groups that they hoped they could get to vote for them and be motivated to go out to the polls, specifically the African American community, the Hispanic community and young people.”

Giving lots of stuff, like, we don’t know, health care and humane immigration reform? Yep, that is what he meant.

“With regards to African American voters, Obamacare was a huge plus,” Mr. Romney said. “You can imagine for somebody making $25 or $30 or $35,000 a year, being told you’re now going to get free health care — particularly if you don’t have it, getting free health care is worth, what, $10,000 a family, in perpetuity, I mean, this is huge. Likewise with Hispanic voters, free health care was a big plus.”

“I think the surprise was some of the turnout, especially in the urban areas, gave President Obama the big margin to win this race. There’s always an electoral college strategy in winning these things and you know which states you need to win. to get to 270 electoral votes. When we look at the map here of Virginia and Ohio coming in, as tight as they were, and looking like we were going to lose them, that’s when it became clear to us that we weren’t going to win.”

Like we don’t vote! We showed you, didn’t we?

Oh, well. The “Once you go Black, you never go back” thing didn’t work for Ryan, we suppose. We guess all those Black women lining up to vote for Obama in those “urban areas” had him thinking that he should have stayed on ” Team Sista” when he had the chance.

10) Tea Party

If NewsOne were the Jolly Black Giant, we’d would use our big wide hand, find the nearest Tea Party convention and smack every face in the room for being outright stupid–especially the plantation Negroes who support them. (See: Allen West, Herman Cain, Kenneth Blackwell, etc). Of all of the outrageous things the Tea Party has done, the Tea Party Victory Fund takes the cake. The Super PAC funded a video that lied about Obama giving Black people in Cleveland free phones (see the video below). Then there was the time when Tea Party protesters spat on Black members of Congress.

Sometimes we wish these people would choke on their tea and go away — forever.