If you can't handle profanity or are too young to find the entertainment value in a psychotic rant, please don't go any further. Otherwise, you've been warned...

I am sick.

Really sick.

I somehow, out of nowhere, caught a head-cold last night and it keeps triggered my angioedema. This makes for a miserable existence where sleep is almost impossible. I spent all of last night and most of today hopped up on cold pills, antihistamines, pain-killers, and rage. Most of my waking moments are spent wishing I would just die already.

So, you can imagine my happiness when I finally manage to balance out all the pills and find a mix that allows me to get some sleep. Which is what finally happened around 1:00 today.

Until the phone rings.

Turns out it's an automated message on behalf this fucker...

His name is Jim Johnson and he's running for a second term in Washington State's Supreme Court.

And some piece of shit dickwad feels that it's critical to interrupt my weekend with a scare tactics telemarketer message to get him re-elected. Thus destroying any chance of getting some rest so I can recover from all that ails me.

So right now I don't care if Jim Johnson gets re-elected.

I don't care who endorses him. I don't give a crap what his politics are. I don't give a shit if he's a liberal or a conservative. I don't even give a flying fuck if he's offering free blow-jobs at the Playboy Mansion with every vote.

He will NEVER get my vote.

Any asshole politician who has followers willing to terrorize people with random cold-calls on his behalf... endorsed by the candidate or not... is just fucking garbage.

So fuck you Jim Johnson.

Since, technically, the automated dialing equipment wasn't trying to sell me anything, they're not in violation of Washington State Law RCW 80.36.400... but they fucking should be. And any candidate for Washington State Supreme Court should be committed to protecting citizens from bullshit like this instead of being the cause of it.

I feel the same fucking way about Karen Fucking Handel. She’s running for governor of Georgia and since my husband has sold his soul to the Republican National Committee, everybody from Newt to Sarah Palin to every annoying Republican they can dig up these days has been calling us via automated robot bullshit. And this automated shit has been coming from Vermont, Utah, and Nevada area codes. EXCUSE ME?!?!? Not only are you going to call me at 8PM on a Saturday night when I’m snuggled down with the husband and a Netflix copy of “Ninja Assassin” but you’ve outsourced this shit from ANOTHER FUCKING STATE? At least Nathan “corrupt US Congressman” Deal’s automated calls came from Gainesville, Georgia.

They’re all a bunch of worthless fucks. I’m sorry he screwed up your sleep. I wouldn’t vote for him, either.

Oh Dave. I would offer some homemade chicken noodle soup to help you feel better but you’re a vegetarian and I don’t think they have a recipe for vegetarian chicken soup. I suppose I can make some minestrone, but I just don’t think that will help.

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