Website Actually Pays for Your Ugly Bridesmaid Dresses

Since the beginning of time, people have been stumbling upon ideas that make them go, "Why didn't I think of that?" In the 1800s, it was the telephone. In the '80s, it was the piano key tie. And now, in 2011, it's NewlyMaid.

NewlyMaid is a new -- ingenious -- website. Its purpose? To take your old dust-covered bridesmaid dresses off your hands (and out of your closet) and provide you with a new cute little black dress. All together now! "Why didn't I think of that?"

I want you to think hard for a minute here. Think about the last few weddings you were in. (Were they fun?) Think about the dress that you wore. (Was is cute?) Think about where it is now. (In the trash?) Now don't you wish you knew about NewlyMaid a few years ago before you left your dress in a giant taffeta heap in the closet of a Hilton in upstate New York where the bride found it, called you out, and then didn't talk to you for three months? Oh, wait. That was me.

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It's a true story, you know. I actually did that. And, yes, I realize I'm a horrible person for doing so. It's just, the dress was so ... not something I was ever going to wear again (and there was bourbon spilled across the chest -- not from me, I swear). With layovers, I had an eight-hour trek ahead of me back to Los Angeles, and in my sort-of-still-drunk state of mind, it seemed like the right thing to do. Not so much. The hotel called the bride, who had reserved a block of rooms. Then she called me (we all had different styles, same color). I don't even remember what ridiculous excuse I gave her, but whatever it was left her super-pissed at me. Oopsie. Now, if I had known that I could have gotten a cute, wearable dress in its stead, you bet your ass I would have rolled that mess up into a ball, shoved it in my carry-on, and none would be the wiser.

Other bridesmaid dresses of mine? Let's see. One was made into a Halloween costume. One is sitting in the closet of my old room at my parents' house. And another was cut to shreds when my sister and I thought it was a good pattern to include in a collage we were making for our cousin's bridal shower.

This may all sound crazy to you, but it's true. And what have you done with yours? I am willing to bet you an Olive Garden lunch that you haven't worn a bridesmaid dress of yours again -- for anything other than an "'80s prom theme" party. And if you have, well, I'd like to meet the bride who picked it out so I can shake her hand.

It's an unfortunate fact of life. Bridesmaid dresses are heinous. Always. And we never, ever use them again! NewlyMaid is the perfect solution to the overcrowding of our closets. Not only do they give you a new LBD at a special price, they either recycle your old dress or donate it to Clothes4Souls! Ugh, why didn't I think of that?!