God’s Love

I was stationed outside a Dollar General selling bread for our ministry when I noticed her get out of her car and head into another store. At the time I noticed her, I heard a voice tell me: “You should go talk to her. . .” I ignored the thought, I figured I was just trying to fool myself into flirting with her.

Later, I saw her get into her car to leave and again, the voice told me: “You should go talk to her . . .” and I ignored this one too, again figuring it was just my desire to flirt with an attractive woman. I got busy with customers, but not too busy to notice that she drove away right in front of where I was standing and around the corner out of sight she went.

Instantly, it seemed to me, I knew it was not my thoughts telling me to go talk with her, but it was God’s! I immediately repented for not being obedient and just knew she was out of my life and I would never see her again, thus missing the opportunity God had presented to me.

I immediately got busy and forgot about my missed opportunity. Several people came to my table to purchase bread and I was very thankful for their support. As I was getting change for one of the customers, I noticed a third person appeared. As I looked up to hand my customer the change, the third person in front of me was the young woman God had told me to talk too. In my surprise, I asked her or told her; please I’d like to talk to you, God told me to go talk to you and I did not, but here you are, you may think I am crazy, but please will you stay and talk with me?

Thankfully she did wait. I told her about God’s voice and that she drove by and I knew I would never see her again. She laughed and when she did drive by and saw the bread, she felt the desire to come to my table to purchase a loaf. I found out instantly, that she too was a born again Christian, strong in faith. We both spoke of our Love for God our faith and shared some of our testimonial to each other, it was a wonderful conversation. For a while, she and I were the only two people on the planet. During our conversation, I started feeling the best feeling I had ever experience, it was a warm fuzzy feeling, a feeling that I did not want to go away, a feeling I wanted to last forever. I thought “I really like talking with this woman!”

After Tammy left, with a bread, I tell you, the warm fuzzy feeling subsided and I was looking forward to talking with Tammy again soon, I hoped. Then logic kicked in. Tammy was married with children and had a life already established. And me, I am not ready, so I believe, to take on anything more than I have plus I have a lot of baggage I’d like to get rid of. So, there was just no way I would have any form of friendship with Tammy outside the few minutes we shared together.

I had to then ask, what was God’s purpose in leading me to Tammy and Tammy to me?

Forever, it seems as though I have heard Pastors, worship leaders and in song about how much God loves me. This love, however; is an intellectual exercise for me. I barely know what love feels like here on Earth, how could I experience a love of something I have really no idea about?

That’s it, I thought. God brought Tammy and I together so I could experience what God’s love feels like. We both love God more than anything else, we both were talking about God and we both had testimonials of his greatness. The feeling I felt was the most wonderful feeling I had ever felt, I never wanted it to go away. God told me, this is the love I have for you always, it never goes away like it did when Tammy left. When you don’t feel it, it’s not because I, God, has moved away, it is because you have.

With the great desire I had to talk with Tammy again to experience the love I felt with her of God, should be the same intensity I have to pursue God’s love when I don’t feel it.

This got me thinking. What if people entered into a marriage, but loving God first and sharing in their relationship their love for God. Every time you spoke, it was like having a conversation with God, and that warm fuzzy would be there all the time.