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December 15, 2011

Well, I turned in my final grades, so I guess my first non-student teaching class is officially over. Yay?
It was a really weird experience, but mostly a positive one.

For one, it was strange just kind of being completely and utterly on my own. I mean, I didn’t expect the intense oversight I had as a grad assistant, because I had been hired to do a job and I am an adult and will do the job. But goodness, I had like no contact with anyone, really. I was mostly just completely alone. I talked to a fellow teacher once the entire semester. Everyone in the offices left the moment my class started. I really probably could have done just about anything I wanted, as long as nobody complained. That’s just kind of a weird feeling, especially when I am so obscenely shackled at, say, Kohl’s, even though I am supposedly the boss of my little team. Again, I’m not an idiot. I’m there to do a job, one I believe is kind of important, and I’m not going to fuck that up. But knowing I could and probably would get away with it is kind of weird.

Secondly, it was just odd having such a small class. Everyone always says they want small classes, and there were a lot of awesome benefits to having such a small class. I could address issues one on one with everyone, and really make sure everyone understood the material. I got to know my students way, way better than I normally do in a class. But, you know, things like the normal three people being gone for a class, but that literally being over half your class? It affected me a bit more personally than I should have. I mean, I always caught myself. I understand all that shit. I’ve been a student. But it does make it harder to just go ahead with the lesson when you’re down to like two people. Lecture just seems weird then. Any kind of planned activity, really. Although it did make for some worthwhile classes.

Finally, it was just awesome to be me in the classroom for once. There were no problems in that regard. My mother’s pointless fears could not have been rendered more ridiculous. I am doing this stuff. It’s me. Fucking fantastic.

Yeah, I say this was a successful semester. We’ll see how I handle a larger course load next time around, hm? And hey, that’ll help me not be so trapped in horrible Kohl’s schedule hell, which will help a lot.