Kill It With Fire: A Virginia Man Set The World Record For Catching A ‘Frankenfish’

Excuse me while I freak the F out and curl up in a ball and wet myself, but a man in Spotsylvania County, Virginia believes that he broke a world record last week for catching a three-foot northern snakehead fish. Caleb Newton’s haul weighed in at approximately 17-pounds and six ounces, which he believes would break the world record by approximately two ounces. He told WTKR news that the catch was so big that he couldn’t even fit it into his cooler. “Haha, that’s awesome”, said his wife as she packed a suitcase and put the kids in the car when he brought it home.

So why is this a big deal at all? Well, for starters, the northern snakehead fish is referred to as the “Frankenfish” less because it was lesser known SNL castmember that became a politician and more because it can walk on land. If that’s not creepy enough for you, these hideous monsters are not supposed to be in America and therefore have no natural predators. They will eat your dogs, cats, babies, arms and even each other.

According to a radio report this morning, most fish caught in the Potomac River shouldn’t be eaten due to chemicals, but Snakeheads grow so fast that they don’t absorb the poison crap and are thus DEE-LICIOUS.

Snakehead is delicious, and they have proven to not be the environmental menace they were feared to become because they are apparently quite lazy, not voracious hunters, and kind of only eat whatever swims right in front of them.

First off, these things are delicious. Second, while not being violent in a controlled environment they will eat other fish extensively and since they have no natural predators, this can become a problem. Living in CT, I have seen this exact problem with the deer population. When I moved here in 1985, the deer population was about 10 deer per square mile of land, now the number is over 60 per square mile! Since deer are not hunters, its more just a problem of not hitting one in my car and not having them eat my damn landscaping. Also you have the health hazard of deer ticks spreading Lymes Disease.

But with a hunting animal, even a lazy one, they will clean out the local species if not controlled properly.

Because this is withleather and I must bring everything back to wrestling… There is a town in Florida that has a Snakehead Hunt because the fish took over all the waterways in the town and decimated the local fish population. It was featured on “EY” Eric Young’s Off the Hook Extreme Catches. Which was AMAZING and hilarious. Even if you arent into wrestling, check out the show. Its like Jackass meets fishing, but without Steve-O piercing himself with a fish hook to become bait to catch a shark. EY lost the Snakehead hunt to a 13 or 14 year old kid.