Happy Valentine’s Day! How are you celebrating? Are you celebrating?!? Frankly, I’m still trying to recover from Christmas… I don’t know how any of us can possibly be ready for another holiday so soon! I’m not a big Valentine’s person… I don’t mind the holiday or anything… in fact in theory, I love it… it’s...

When I got into the sex toy reviewing business there was a particular dildo that I really wanted to get my hands on, it was a fantastic pink and blue, cotton candy looking jellyfish. It was both whimsical and incredibly detailed…it was like no dildo I had ever seen before and I wanted it bad. Sadly for...

I can’t lie… the number one reason I asked to review the Uberrime Dr. Manhattan is so I could make an irritating number of blue penis jokes. The kind of jokes I couldn’t stop making after watching Watchman in theaters with my friends. The kinds of jokes that are no doubt the reason why no...

You know how they say when it rains it pours? I feel that way about sex toys sometimes. Like… I can go years without ever reviewing a particular sex toy brand… and then all of a sudden the flood gates open and I suddenly have more toys from that brand than I know what to...

Ya’ll… I… I think…. I THINK I’VE FOUND MY NEW ALL TIME FAVORITE DILDO! And no, I am not overreacting. The BS Atelier Max Queer is an absolutely phenomenal dildo. Like… I have had this thing stuffed into my vagina pretty much nonstop since I’ve received it (which was October 20, 2018… so… it’s been...

Have you ever decided that it was time to masturbate so you pull your sex toy collection from the back of your closet or out from under your bed (or if you like me… also from every available cabinet and storage tote in the house) on the quest for the perfect toy? You aren’t quite...

Are you looking for a whisper quiet, discreet vibrator that you can use in your apartment with paper-thin walls that won’t alert Edna, your neighbor, to the fact that you masturbate in your own apartment? If so… just keep scrolling… because that is 100% the opposite of the MotorBunny. I don’t really mean that in...

Question: would it make me a terrible sex toy reviewer if I just skipped the actual review and went straight to the part where I recommend that you just go ahead and buy the Crystal Delights Magnetic Bunny Tail Glass Butt Plug? It is just so perfect I feel like my words just won’t do...

For whatever reason, the Screaming O Toone makes me think of that old Disney Cartoon, Bonkers. Anyone else remember that? With the anthropomorphic Bobcat that left show business and became a cop in Tinseltown? Please tell me I’m not the only person who remembers that show… I’ll feel really old then. Why does this remind...

Happy new year! Here we are, we’ve made it, welcome to 2019! That is going to take me forever to get used to writing… I still occasionally write 1993 on my checks (and yes… I still use checks, because apparently I’m an old person)… but whatever, time is irrelevant. Did you make any resolutions as...