8/10/2015

Brief Beach Blogging: Republicans Love Virgin Assholes

(The Rude Pundit is on a beach vacation for the week, so the blogging will be brief and hopefully satisfying enough, like elevator sex.)

Here's a quote for you from a Public Policy Polling survey done post-GOP clusterfuck or, if you want, "debate": "PPP's newest Iowa poll finds Donald Trump leading the Republican field in the state even after a weekend of controversy. He's at 19% to 12% for Ben Carson and Scott Walker, 11% for Jeb Bush, 10% for Carly Fiorina, 9% for Ted Cruz, and 6% for Mike Huckabee and Marco Rubio."

One way to read the poll is that of the top five GOP contenders in Iowa (motto: "You guys really put way too much stock in what we white people say around here"), three have never held political office. Imagine that. Imagine someone who has never been on a fucking school board all of a sudden have to be responsible for the lives of 300something million people, if not everyone in the world. Here's a question the Rude Pundit would ask Fiorina and Trump: Would either of you want as CEO of a company someone who has never run a business? And for Carson: Would you want to be operated on by someone who only knows about surgery from reading books and making speeches about it?

You don't pop your anal cherry all at once. You don't shove a giant dildo up your butthole when it's the first time. You start small. You work your way up. Otherwise you're facing bleeding, tearing, or rupture, no matter how prepared you think your anus is.

By the way, another poll has Trump at 24% with Bush following at 12. Fun times, motherfuckers, fun times.