Dentist Tried To Convert Patients In The Chair To Christianity

PAUL Gardner of Geelong, Melbourne, Australia, is the Christian dentist and surgery missionary. While treating a patient, Gardner noted her dragon tattoos and concluded that people with such ink were not open to the word of God. With her reclined in the dentist’s chair, Gardner began spouting fundamental Christian views and attempting to convert her.

Six months before the latest incident, Dr Gardner was fined $10,000 after he told a schizophrenic patient that she was possessed by the devil and could be cured through his church’s spiritual healing.

Anorak has often wondered how a dentist can get yet more terrifying. My own dentist does the mouths of many Tottenham Hotspur footballers. You lay back in the chair and see Dr Teeth with his arm draped around a youthful Paul Gascoigne, Gary Linker, Mitchell Thomas and lots of other Spurs players bearing their pearly whites. It is unsettling. He then talks about Spurs while holding your mouth open. As regular readers know, Old Mr Anorak, our patron, favours the Arsenal, it being the club of The Establishment. We’d rather the dentist talked about God.

I seem to be part of a training course for young foreign dentists as I never have the same one twice. By the time they have catalogued the damage wrought by years of rugby, cycling and neglect there is usually little time for small talk. The one before last was dressed in a full burqa over which she dutifully wore a surgical mask. She must have marvelled at the teeth of the infidel and wondered how the British could have colonized the world.