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Monday, October 5, 2009

Monday, October 5, 2009

This is not the post that was originally scheduled for today.

Why?

Because the original post - which was written last week, mind you - said the following:

"As some of you know, Jen and I are currently touring around this great country of ours talking about cake, signing books, and trying desperately not to vomit. As of today, Jen has lost two fingers on her signing hand and has twelve different strains of the flu. Other than that, though, the tour's going really rather well."

Yep, that was John being funny, and yep, he apparently has now picked up my uncanny knack for pre-writing posts which foreshadow terrible events. Only this time, it's personal.*

If you're wondering where we are right now, here's a hint:

[crickets chirping]

Hm?

What do you mean, "that doesn't help any?" C'mon, isn't it obvious? That's only a super-famous sports logo for a super-famous sports team!

No?

Ok, fine, if I have to spoon-feed it to you:

Now do you know where we are?

Er, no, not "the home of the flame-broiled Loch Ness Monster." Sorry. It is the home of the "Longherns," though, if that helps any. I'm surprised you can't see it, though. I mean, don't those cakes look exactly like this?

(I suggest you go look at those Wrecks again now, to better "appreciate" them. Heh.)

Ok, last hint:

What, nothing? Tch. Look, I don't see how this jumbled mass of shotgun shells and strawberries could make it any clearer. [head tilt] Well, unless maybe you held them up to a mirror. Heh. Yeeeah.

Margaret I., Leti S., & Jennifer F., that last one really is in a sorry state, isn't it?

* In the past two days John has suffered a head injury, pneumonia, and a staph infection of the blood. As of this writing he's still in critical condition, and the remainder of the book tour has been canceled.(Because when we wreck a book tour, we wreck a book tour.)

Thanks for the explanations.That flame-broiled caked looked suspiciously like a uterus, so I thought maybe you were giving hints that you were cancelling the tour because you found out John was pregnant.

Wait, as any Texan who makes it through 7th grade Texas history can tell you (cause we all have to do that salt dough relief map of the state)--that Texas is back-ars-wards! I think a Yankee was involved in the making of that...is that even a cake? Whatever it is, I smell a fraud.

I'd ask "what else could go wrong" but we all know where that would lead! I hope John makes a complete recovery very, very soon and that the both of you get to go and rest up from this ordeal. Sending you get well wishes from Maryland.

I thought that first cake was a pair of panties and that you were perhaps at a strip club which then had me thinking perhaps John had been faking that whole pneumonia, head injury, staph infection thing.

oh man! I am sooo feeling your guys' pain! But I am amazed that you have found humor in all that is happening. The crusted burnt wreck that looks like it was split in half is exactly how I feel about Texas! LOL jk but it surely is gross.

My partner and I are praying for you guys (especially John) and hope you are feeling better soon. Props to you for still having your sense of humor and sharing it with us. This is why we all love you so!

I've never posted here before, but have been reading your blog for several months now. I just wanted to let you know that my heart goes out to you, and John will be in my prayers. A safe and speedy recovery!

John & Jen - We prayed for you this morning in our homeschool. We love CW because it helps teach English spelling, idioms, and play on words. We also love the silly cakes! Get well soon!AJW and two princesses, ages 6 and 9

so good to know that you guys truly put everything you have into your wreckage--cake or otherwise. I'm so sorry to hear both you and Jon are sick, and I am keeping you both in my prayers! I'm just glad I was able to see you in Chicago before you both got sick :)"I'm not dead yet!" "I got better.""It's just a flesh wound!"(a few Monty Python quotes to get you through your day. heh.)-Courtney, aka IWUwombat

When I saw the first 2 wrecks, I thought "They're in a uterus?" What's really rather frightening is that the second one looks, shall we say, less than healthy. Hope you and John are better soon and get home without any further problems.

I'm so sorry for John's illness and injury! I'll keep you both in my prayers that he makes a quick recovery, and you can get back to home soon. Jen, your humor despite your situation is so inspiring. I check into CW EVERY day. You are a blessing in my life. Ann M. - IL.

Oh Jen and John, I am so, so sorry that you guys got sick. And that John is still so very sick and stuck in the hospital. And away from home at that. And a head injury on top of that?! Oh my. You are both in my prayers.

My best hopes and thoughts of wellness are with you. I barely scraped through an extremely dangerous and rare form of pneumonia myself a few years ago, so I understand how shocking and frightening a situation you find yourself in. I hope the good will and love of all the people who get joy from reading your blog every day is a buffer and comfort, and know there are thousands of people out there, wishing you well.

I'm so sorry you guys are having to go through this. Prayers to you and John, and please get well soon! I can't believe you've managed to keep your sense of humor through all this, but laughter has its own powerful healing force. Please laugh and heal!

Holy cow! I'm so sorry to hear this. And sorry to have missed the Dallas Cake Wrecks event. If there's anything you guys need, just say the word - There's lots of folks in the D/FW area who would be willing to provide support/munchies/stuff. Meanwhile, sending all the happy healing thoughts your way that I can.

Oh honey, that is just terrible. I have never commented here before but I am so fond of you and John, it's like you come in with treats for me every day, and make me laugh in the bargain. What terrible news that John has not only not improved but is actually in critical condition!

I send you both all my best wishes for healing, and hope that you are be surrounded by love and support. Good luck, my dear. Good, good luck.

Was it looking at all the wrecks that did him in? NOOOO!!! Seriously - both of you feel better soon. Oh, and those cakes? Reminded me of a certain annual appointment I have to make..... yuck, on both counts.

I'm really sorry to hear you are both sick. I hope you get better soon. Now on the lighter side. Is it just me, or does anyone think the first cake looks like "falopian tubes/ ovaries/ a uterus?" Maybe I'm just crazy.

I had a great time seeing you in Chicago, and I hope you guys mend up and get out of Dallas soon. I recently learned how scary it is to have a husband in the hospital - I sincerely hope that one day (soon) this will be something for you guys to look back and laugh about.

I'm keeping you in my prayers and thoughts. I love your blog. You're incredibly hilarious, and you make me laugh every time you put up a new post. (And every time I look back through my favourites, which is often!)

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate what you do, and to tell you that I really hope you both feel much, much better soon.

I hope that you both feel better ASAP. And that the 866 posts give you s bit of support as needed. Good to see you both keeping up the quality of wreckiness we've come to expect. Next time, try to keep the horror under control.

Many hugs and best wishes from up here in Madison for both you and John. A Cake Wreck tour is clearly not a cake walk! Could this be Revenge of the Wreckerators? I understand that among their weapons are fear, surprise and a fanatical devotion to food poisoning.

Word Verification is "flucl:" apparently the name brand of the antibiotic that will fix John right up!

My prayers are with you both. I read Cake Wrecks as often as possible & tell everyone about it. You bring smiles, giggles & guffaws to me every time. Thank you for the gift of laughter that you share freely with us all.

My husband is in critical condition too, heart attack last Wed, so Jen, I am in the same boat as you, back n forth to the hospital for a few weeks yet...

Good luck to you both, & I'll be thinking of you two while we are all doin the hospital thang together but separately <3

Get well wishes coming from Boston! Do take care of yourself. I can't wait to read the book, I pre-ordered and everything, then my husband who has not seen the blog stole it and won't give it back. He just sits in the other room LOLing at every page.

Oh no! Speedy recovery, John! Watch out for the hospital desserts! They might not be visually wrecky, but we had some pumpkin pie that I think they just used the entire container of nutmeg. And it must have been the VA recipe because my SO got it one week and I foolishly tried it the next week thinking his was a fluke...nope. I like a spicey pie...but oh baby.

Hope you guys are both getting better. Know that you have lots of fans sending good thoughts your way. As one of you fans in the Dallas/Ft. Worth metro area, drop a note if you need a break, a load of laundry done or a home cooked meal!

So sorry Dallas made John sick. I missed you on Saturday - was busy taking care of my own sick relative. And now I bet you'll never want to visit our fair city again! I wouldn't blame you either. Get well soon!

You know that our prayers are with you. I know that you'll be fine John, and I understand the whole bored in the hospital while seriously ill thing. People forget that just because you're really sick doesn't mean you can't sit lie there wishing for something to do.

And if you're bored, that's a very good, good sign. God is with you, and so are our hearts.

And you do have some wreckage to look at. Is it me, or did that first one look like a uh...well...stripper's g-string?

I've been reading this blog for probably a year and usually don't comment because it's in Google reader, but I wanted to send you my wishes for John's health and speedy recovery. I also hope that you are handling everything all right and are still getting rest, feeding yourself and all that good stuff. (I thought the first pic was another uterus cake.)

If there's anything you need while you are trapped in Texas, feel free to let me know. I can only imagine how horrid it feels to have someone in the hospital in a place far from home. Whether it's recommendations on where to get a good burger or someone to meet you for coffee and a friendly chat...Hope everyone is well and able to travel home soon.

Well, if you're gonna pick a place to be sick, Texas is definitely the state to do it in...Dallas has a really good medical center, and Houston is right down the way with the best in the world, so fear not, my young friends! All your readers will be praying for you!

You wrecked it with style! Just like the second cake posted today... you know style? Ya that just won't fly i guess. I'm from TX and those cakes are the most hideous representation of the best team EVER, that I've ever seen.... whoever made them should be tied to a flag pole in the middle of town and made to sing "Deep in the Heart of Texas" till their mouth goes dry.... (Deepest Texan accent) "That's how we do things round heeya..." :)

I do believe that top one is a cup cake cake. to give you hope, my husband had the same type illness and recovered. It took a while, but he was out of the ICU in a week and out of the hospital in 10 days. Then we went home and he was BORED for the next month. But I got to cuddle with him every night. I sill do 21 years later.

Head injury??? You just said ICU and that could be dehydration (in the extreme), or flu or SOMETHING that needs lots of care until it passes !Head injury sounds more ominous than what our prayers were geared for... we'll do better and hopefully you both will too.

Here's a favorite:Three statisticians went hunting. They spotted a deer in a clearing. The first statistician aims carefully, fires his gun, and the bullet goes whizzing just three inches above the deer. The second statistician fires and his bullet flies just three inches below the deer. The third statistician cries, "We got him!"

I'm here in Austin also and I recognized the cakes right away! Well after wondering for a second if something was wrong with your uterus. I'm sending you very strong wishes for both of you to get well soon (the close proximity makes the wishes stronger). What was the head injury?

I have an apartment in Dallas that is currently furnished, but unoccupied. It's just a few blocks from Baylor University Medical Center, in the downtown area. If that would be useful to you while John is ill, you are welcome to use it for as long as you want.

If you have any interest in this, please e-mail me at biggaryc@yahoo.com or censusgary@gmail.com

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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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