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Wednesday, 9 September 2015

So a title supposed to be here then

This blog was started so as to keep all of Sharon's crafting friends from around the world up to speed on her progress.It is also as much to keep me sane in the days to come; like therapy if you will, If i put it down on paper it helps to make sense of it all kind of thing, it will also be useful to look back on once shaz is out as i am sure she will remember very little of the early days in hospital

So consider it a log or diary of sorts.

Please also understand that some of the below info is written as notes, snatches in time and may not flow very well. I am no writer or author and do not pretend to be

There will also be NO pictures as shaz will not have any taken(edit Saturday 19th now ok to post some)

Wednesday 2nd

The day of the surgeryToday is the day, arrived at a little before 7am went to the admissions lounge and waited outside until they opened up, not long after going in the woman from the genome project came over and took us aside into a side to do all the consent forms these took so much longer than we would have liked as there was people milling around in the corridor waiting for her, the anesthetist came in and quickly introduced himself to us, then the one consultant surgeon (Asian) guy did that we saw the first time that we saw Mr Radley. There was also an intern/trainee in the room with us and she was accompanying shaz into the theatre to observe the operation.Before we knew it another woman (maybe a nurse) popped her head in to say they were waiting for Sharon. She was asked to pop on the gown and socks (I had to do the socks as they were ridiculously tight. Then it was a walk down the clerk to the theatre waiting room curtain bit. By this time we were both quite upset and shaz almost at full panic attack stage, she would have had one if she was not so numb. Neither of us was impressed at not having any time or privacy go hug or hold each other before being wheeled of on the trolley. I gave her a hug made awkward for her being laid own got given a bag with her dressing gown and slippers and shoed out the room.All this took until around 8:30/9:00 did not think to check my watch. And so the longest wait began, not helped by anybody giving any updates, Rob was going to be on his way soon but I just needed and preferred to be on my own for a while.Family and friends had been texting as to how things are going and asking if I was OK too, but I did not having any answers about either shaz was in theatre and I was numb/scared/stressed. All I could do was wait out the 8 hours we were told it would take then start phoning for info. Rob came around and was great, I can't remember who texted or phoned who to be honest but it was actually nice as he could take my mind of things, then later Tim, Curtis and Corbin popped in to check on things I don't recall what time they left. Robs car was parked on the woman's hospital car park up the road and we needed to go and renew the pay and display ticket at about 4oclock. So I paid for 3 mote hours to take it until 7 pm, I had phoned a couple of times but was told they was still in the theatre. It is 7 o'clock and Rob wants to stay longer but I insisted I was fine and I would update him when I knew something.Another hour passed and I phoned again to be told they were just coming out of theatre now but I would not be able to see her until tomorrow morning.A very long numb drove home once I had steadied myself and phoned everyone on the progress and lack of news, I remember having breakfast but don't recall lunch but not hungry so maybe I did eat dinner or lunch? Time to phone and text round everyone and update on what little info I have.

Thursday 3rd

Not a great night’s sleep but didn’t expect it would beJust of the phone to them they have reduced the sedation and the surgeon has been in to see her, they are happy with her. They need to remove the breathing tubes so I should be OK to see her about 11 ish, they don't need anything brought in as yet. So still have all her stuff in the car ready for her.I have been in with her for the last few hours on and off, and they have only just managed to get her pain under control as the spinal block wasn't working very well. They dosed her up with loads of morphine etc but that wasn't enough. They have her settled now, they need to do an X Ray so they can see that the feeding tube is in the right place as they need to feed her through it but they could not see very clearly when they first tried it.She is a little better this afternoon, one of the pain doctors was in lunch time and said (we had also read of it too) how you can end up with chronic pain due to the type of up that will improve once she is healed from the surgery but may not completely go away and will need medication going forward, they are not sure to what extent that will be yet though only time will tell.Shaz is a lot more comfortable now; no pain just a little discomfort. I have just eaten some dinner (tell you what a whole meal for £3 is a bargain), they must subsidize it with the cost of parking. Shaz was so high on morphine that she was hallucinating serpents and yet still in loads of pain.Left shaz snoring so I am happy never thought I would say that I like hearing her snore as until now I hated it.

Friday 4th

Early start again got to the hospital for 9 in the morning lots of pain when awake luckily spent most of the time asleep. Major pain in the afternoon after being turned They said that she would be in pain but everyone is different, and the epidural has to be in a specific place and dosage just right, also the epidural can only do so much. They have done a few top ups (larger doses) and liquid paracetamol, also morphine to help. We both desperately underestimated just how large this op was going to be. But she is a fighter. The other pain killer they have started her on can take time to build up in the system; they say about a month so that gives an idea as to how long she may need it for :(Another bad day overall, hate seeing Shaz in pain and crying with it

Saturday 5th

Arrived at 10am had some funny looks from the oriental female nurse looking after shaz, granted visiting hours is from11am but that is only the recommended time it is not set in stone. I was able to have a chat with the plastic surgeon as he (along with other consultants) was doing the rounds about 20 past 10.After viewing Sharon's flap (this is what they call the section they have taken from her chest to replace the section the removed, I believe it is the base of the spine that would cover the tail bone) he looked rather smug with the job they did on her.He said that there is not many places that could manage to pull off a job of this scale! Other docs round later not happy with the amount of morphine being given as can cause the tummy to not work properly. So stopped the morphine and the .2mg of ketamine. Just had a chat with the surgeon and he does not see Shaz leaving critical care for at least 4 weeks and due to all the pain control she has been given she is sleeping too much, this means her lungs are not getting enough work and neither is her stomach, this is why she is not absorbing all the nutrients she needs. They are going to cut right back on the pain relief so she is awake more. The morphine has now been stopped but if needed they will need to get permission to give it her, they are happy with how she is doing but they don't expect her to be up and about any time soon, another 4 weeks of being turned side to side every 2 hours. The 12 weeks recovery that was mentioned at the start we both took as all healed up etc it is looking like that could be the stay in hospital :(That could well be end of November if we are lucky.Stoma was also checked today with me present, noticed it was now an end colostomy ,Sid has now lost an eye the remaining eye is larger so easier to manage. Mentioned the issue with irritation from some of the bags so went to the cargo get some of the salts ones.Some concerns about the wedding rings left hand and arm is still puffy from the fluids and post op.Shaz had been showing signs of discomfort and complaining about the back pain crying out help me Doug it hurts, help me Doug I am in pain make it stop, please stop the pain over and over again, so very hard to deal with when there is nothing I can do to help but try to calm her.She was allowed a .2mg of morphine but that did little, she is still intense pain so another 2mg was given. This eventually took effect, later though more pain came back but this time the tummy, she did eventually settle but not completely I left at 9:30 at night went home and phoned everyone I needed to.Today was the hardest day of my life by a very very long way

Sunday 6th

Much better day, shaz was sick during the early hours of Sunday morning around 3 am that helped with the pain in the tummy as the food that was being given via the tube was not being absorbed.A bile bag was fitted to the feeding tube to help drain off excess stuff from the stomach, not pretty to watch it working (think runny pea soup) No morphine had been needed since then. Still on the epidural 10mg and regular turns side to side.Shaz is a lot better now able to chat normally, sounds a little more like herself again. Just short chats then off to sleep again. One of the awake occasion's she asked for her nicotine patches so I went to the car to fetch them. Not in the bag I had with me (adamant they was) actually in the case she packed.Mark (not sure if he is a staff Nurse) nice really nice chap went and fetched some and organized a prescription of them for her. Note this was after I went back to the car lolYay a nice nurse managed to get her ring off YAY thought it may need to be cut off if it got any tighter.6:30pm they start to do the last roll/position change and I had an I thought bugger should have been keeping a diary of each day, so I am sat in the cc lounge typing this on my tablet waiting to go back inside. A little bit of pain before I went home but not as much, starting to time my leaving to just after she has been turned so I have peace of mind she will be ok for a few hours at least.

Monday 7th

I arrived at the hospital a little after 11am to find shaz heavily perspiring after a bad morning for pain. Shaz was awake enough to let me know why/what happened; but had very little strength so had to get her breath back a few times.She was in some pain early this morning after being turned recently but was not very comfortable so asked to be moved again, had a cooling wash at about 5ish gown and sheets changed etc. Gave some pain killers but they had started to wear off before I arrived.They started to give the feed again to try again at jump starting Sid again; she is also able to have sips of water. Oh and she has a hairy tongue now, can’t understand how the hospital can let a patients tongue look like that! Left arm and hand is a little more swollen than yesterday, glad they got the ring off as it would have needed to be cut off.I asked for some damp wipes so that I cool mope the ole brow and hand so as to cool her down a little.Sounded a little wheezy even after having just had the nebuliser on so had another dose before Paul (today's nurse) went for lunch, however after 5-10 minutes she started to feel a little sickly so I asked James (other male nurse) take it off for her. She felt better after that.Was told that the epidural had to come out today as they can't leave it in longer than 5 days due to the risk of infection, they are not going to put another in either as they want to wean her off of it. Not looking forward to when it wears off, some harder times ahead I think.Everyone keeps saying how happy they are with her; this is really reassuring to the both of us.Around midday shaz was getting a little muddled, saying she wants to go back to the ward she is supposed to be on, she is sure she was in someone's house, and this was not where she is supposed to be. Tried to reassure her that she has been in the same bed and spot since coming up from the operation but she is having non off it.Physiotherapist came in to see her again today, was able to do some breathing exercises, did well second time around.Come back from lunch and she is still talking about not being where she should be and that someone is trying to get people to join a pyramid scheme? ...... A very confused wifelet indeed.By 7:30 the doc had come over and gave the pain killer into the epidural, he said the patches they have prescribed are 100x stronger than morphine and they have different strength ones, they can also double up on them but nobody has ever needed to.It is now 8:30 and still in loads of pain, slightly better when the bed was tilted up head end as the block was not working very well, kind of like a spirit level and the bubble needs to be in just the right place for it to block pain in that area.Hopefully the new patches they give will help and be more effective as all I can do to help is talk to her, give her water and mop her brow. It does not seem enough there has to be more that I can do!

Tuesday 8th

Hoping for a better day today but I think they are just going to get harder until the pain is under control, hoping for a temperature drop. I had a restless night, got up later than I had planned had a shower to try and wake up. I got to the hospital at just after 11:30. Shaz had had another bad night sick again. They had took the epidural out and the pay he's seem to be working OK. The CT scan had been booked for 2 o'clock, had an update from the nurse looking after her as to how she has been so far.Shaz says she is able to have small pieces of grapefruit and pineapple to suck on to help with the crappy taste in her mouth.Started to disconnect her ready for the CT scan, 13:40 the nurse or orderlies come up to fetch her. I volunteer to nip back home as I had forgotten my bag, with my tablet and battery bank.Go home via tesco and grab all 3 varieties of grapefruit and a pineapple, some burgers and go home microwave a burger do a quick coffee and prepare the fruit and head back.Got back to find shaz has had the neck line removed, had been in a little pain on her chest from holding her arms up above her head during the scan. It also seems that she may have misheard about the grapefruit and pineapple they was referring to juices not the actual fruit.She does seem more settled now. Couple of hours later and she is getting a little restless, and asks for a pain lolly and to be turned. So as it’s a little after half 5 I am off for dinner.Mmm chicken curry and rice and an apple crumble and custard for pudding not too shabby!Back from lunch and no change, talk of them popping in a feed IV line into her so. Also I asked the question that had been playing on my mind over the last few days as to what happens if the bowel does not start up soon, will it die back or something? But apparently this is normal and it won’t die back, it will just take time is all Its 10 past 9 and I Just got one of those looks of tonight’s night shift nurse that is looking after her , and then told she was kicking me out shortly, then 5 minutes later she aid I would have to goDefinitely a better day today, right off home to Tesco as shaz wants the fruit I bought blended and more of it.Took a Hour and a half to chop blend and sieve the fruit for a piss ant little bit in a bottle, then another ice age trying with little success to clean a sieve off of all fruit bits, wash the blender the copping board etc it is now one in the morning ffs, I am not doing that again; She will be having pre bottled stuff in future.

Wednesday 9th

Shaz will be very pleased to know that I did not forget her dodgy juice :) personally I won’t be drinking it and as a backup I also brought in some grapefruit juice.Shaz is much better this morning up until the time that the physiotherapist came down. They wanted to stand her up if she was up to it.There is alsoSomeone from the nutrition team came down to read her notes and come up with a plan to get some grub into the new arterial line they had fun and games getting in this morning before I got there.So I stepped out for a bit to grab a drink (found that the restaurant had Aberdeen Angus burgers) so I had to have one as you do.Came back down to find shaz in a little pain as they could not stand her up as her haemoglobin was a little low and there was a risk of her fainting. They had put her on a transfusion to top it up.One of the plastic surgeons came around shortly after and made a point of coming round to speak to me and asked if I had any questions at all, I asked about the flap they were always talking about told him what I thought it was and he pretty much confirmed it, a very nice chap.I asked about the length of time the surgery took and he said that there was a little delay going in bit the amount of time was about what it normally takes .Basically when they removed the bowel and the tail bone they also took away the skin of the lower back that covers it. The skin or flap as it shall now forever be known going forward was made by taking a strip from the chest area all the way down to the navel , it will be a wicked scar. I am sat outside the curtain while they re rolled her and taking the opportunity to catch up on this so far so good ☺Still not as comfortable as she would like as she is lay on one of the air filled tubes that are in the air mattress so stepped out behind the curtain while they drag her down a tad, get pulled up by the staff Nurse for not leaving the ward while they do it.Having strange fantasy regarding engineers making Barney bear face masks fentanol is some strange stuff, just had the nebuliser back on to help clear her chest When i got there today they had put an arterial line in and started her on antibiotics. One if the surgeons was about today and explained a little more a out the surgery and how well it went. another came about an hour ago took a look at the wound as he calls in the tummy and said straight away that that was the cause if the infection, he sent the nurse to get the staple removers grabbed some long ear cleaner type things (about 9” long) and used them to poke in-between the staples to open the incision up and drain of the tummy , when she came back with the swabs and staple removers he proceeded whip out some of the staples drain the tummy and clean it out, add some gauze at a wick and told Shaz she needs to move around a bit on her own as that will help push out any infection. All done with me there, I thought he was just going to look at the flap or stitches and look smug like the rest of them.As soon as he left the nurse looked at me and said I am going to have to re dress the wound and will have to ask you to step out. I am thinking after what I just saw lol a simple dressing is nothing, anyway just come up to the canteen and eaten a steak and veg pie mash n peas with a spotted dick and custard chaser ..... yup still have an appetite Some pain this afternoon from being mauled and proper pocked about and the nurse is one of these that has to do things in a set way and won’t be hurried, didn’t go and get the fentanol lozenge (lollipop to us) until much later by which time the mild pain turned to major pain and shaz also needed some drugs into her drip to help. But they soon kicked in and she was fine by late afternoon early evening.She was so well I left early for me at 20.50 I made the point of insisting that should there be any change they are to phone me, But if they are anything like shaz though they will just deal with whatever arises due to not wanting to wake me.Not a bad day at all, that is 2 on the trot ..

Thursday 10th

Mini update on the juice I made.........it went down the sink; she tried the normal grapefruit that she drinks and it was too sharp, the one I made was a lot sharper so hey ho I arrived to find the bed had been changed around now side on as a posed to end on, this now gives shaz a view of the ward now rather than just the curtain’s. She had had another night of discomfort down to burning up, they had gave her a few cooling Ice washes and within 10 minutes of me arriving they proceeded to give her another one. She had managed to stand a couple of times this morning prior to my arrival and the effort has left its mark on her with how tired (worn out not sleepy tired) she now is. As for the type of night she had after i left well it was a very miserable night as the fever was at its peak so plenty of icy water wipe downs were called for, got to feel for the night shift nurse's as she tends to get very grouchy when too hot . She is not as bad this morning, so it looks like they seem to have gotten on top of the infection as she is back down to her normal temp now and she feels fine. They had left the bowel of cold ice water behind the bed so I cooled her down a little more, rivers of sweat in the cleavage can’t be comfy, it was a chore but I managed to cool her back down again. I tried her on the lychee juice drink I bought from Tesco 2 days ago to try but she did not like it; I also bought some blueberry juice I will try her with that later. She said to me just before the curtain was drawn around the bed for the turn and wash that she really hopes she is not left with this pain L all I could say was that I hope so too . Back in and within about 20 minutes Mr Radley (Sharon’s main surgeon) takes a look at her bottom and is very happy with her, is happy for the last of the drains can come out, he is also OK with her being on her back for short amounts of time and sitting. I think the plastic surgeon may have a different opinion but I did not say anything. A little later... A lot more comfortable now she has been re turned and cooled again although she is drifting off a fair few times, not sure if they gave her something after turning her as she is hallucinating a fair bit and drifting in and out. On one occasion from what I could glean she was talking to the little people her eyes under her lid are darting about and there is huffing and mumbling’s a plenty. About half hour later and is in a bit of discomfort and in need of a turn, so has that done while I pop of for a cuppa tea. Then the nurse would like to run a heart trace on her as the monitor had a few spikes on it, the trace was fine though. New lolly as the pain was coming back; nurse warns that they can get somewhat dependent on them though! She is back in for another scan again tomorrow, it would have been this afternoon but as she can't drink anything without it coming out the drain line the contrast won't stay in, so they have booked her in for tomorrow instead and they will IV the stuff into her but that needs to be made up. The main surgeon (Mr Radley) who did the bulk of the op (the one we was referred to) came in again to check in her this time timed for while I was here I think. He is well happy with her and wants some of the drains taken back out to reduce the risk off further infections. Just had one of the tummy drains out, must have been 12” of tube inside it is a wonder it didn’t come out her nose. The nurse is only taking the one out now was going to do the second but it started to drain again so they will leave it in for a little while, this afternoon she has been good, minor moment of discomfort nothing that a position change couldn't fix . Been having some discomfort towards the end of the shift and did not want to ask Anna (this afternoons nurse) to turn her as she felt she had pestered her enough today. So just when she was going to get the night shift nurse to turn her after the hand over and he had hung the new feeds and solutions a new patient from surgery come out into the next bay he had to help to help set up. So this meant she was a little stiff by the time she got turned and that was about 22.00, I went back in half hour later gave her another cool down to help settle her but did not help much.

Got a feeling it will be a long night for the both Shaz and the poor nurses looking after her as Shaz will get all worked up ,this will make her over heat even more and there is nothing worse than a shaz when she is hot as irritable does not do it justice.

Friday 11th

Arrived at a little after 11:30 as I told Shaz I would set up the –pod touch with the latest audio books and albums for her to listen to. She wanted her 7” tablet but I know she would just drop it on the floor or face plant it, at least the iPod is in a relatively soft case and is old. Then she asked for some of the ones that she had put onto the 32gig pen drive I gave her for her stay to pop videos books etc on. As I didn’t get out of the hospital due to now she was last night until after 11 then drive home update the blog and have something to eat, wash-up empty the washing machine and put the clothes away ( as you can tell I am house trained ), I did not get chance to sort out the iPod until this morning. Well that’s my excuse for leaving a little later. Anyway as I get let into the ward she is just getting ready to leave for her scan, she did not look impressed at all and called the night shift nurse some unpleasantries and off she was wheeled for her scan. Upon her return she proceeded to let me know as to what happened last night that wound her up so much. As I said she was toured just prior to me going home about 9:30 , well she complained about being uncomfortable an hour or so later and asked to be turned again the night nurse looking after her did not get around to doing it until 01:30 by this time she was well and truly stiff , the nurse would not listen to how she wanted to be positioned and told her how she needs to be, then left her in that position until the morning shift came in, at least that is what I understand happened . There had been numerous attempts to get a line in her foot as her wrists are all pretty much exhausted, after many tries they went back to the wrist again, some jiggery pokery and it is in. Another turn and she would like her lolly again more to help her sleep than for pain, but that made her hot and restless so she gave it back. It is now half 4 and been a while since I had a drink so I am grabbing a quick drink. Right back to it, spoke to Anna when I got back in and she managed to get hold of one of the plastic surgeons and he has confirmed the following Shaz is allowed to sit, stand or walk for a maximum of 20 minutes at a time but no more than that. Blood pressure had been high all morning and into early afternoon as high as 200 odd now it’s around 160/80 still high but better than it was, they can’t give her anything to bring it down as they want to limit the amount of drugs that she is having to a minimum. You can tell she is so much better as she is kicking me out lol. I said i was fine staying with her but she said she would be happier and feel better if i got out of there and chill out play games or something. Especially as she is in no real pain as the single patch on her shoulder is more than coping with it . She is asleep now/well snoozing anyway and it is 19:00 so i am going home , her blood pressure is now 137/78 . All in all another fantastic day. Thoughts She is loads better in herself, I can see it and every day i get in there, but oh so much more importantly she can feel it too. Shaz is getting stronger to the point that she is trying to pull herself up and sit up. There has always been a light at the end of the tunnel but it has been such a very long tunnel you could not see the end of it. I can clearly see that light now and it is not as far away as we thought. You do notice the temperature starts to get warmer in the hospital around 18:00 maybe it is to induce drowsiness, hopefully she will have a better night sleep tonight Edit.Just phoned at 23:30 to ensure all is well and shaz is still asleep :)

Saturday 12th

Another day another poor morning, it seems to the case whenever shaz has a male nurse as for some reason things don't go so well. It also seems to also be the case that whenever she has a male nurse that they have more than just her to look after. When she has a female nurse they tend to be one to one. The result means that she does not get turned as often as she needs or wants to be. Resulting in discomfort barely suppressed irritation and overheating, this then starts to spiral fair bit.Where to begin ... I take one look at her and know that her patience has been tested beyond the normal breaking point. From what she told me she has been left uncomfortable and the nurse is just never about or tends to say i just have to do so and so, yesterday Anna was making sure Shaz was OK and doing the write ups (notes/paperwork) after she had made sure she was OK first. This nurse will do something then write it down; by the time I write this 14:00 he has been to her 3 times at most. I understand that he is looking after another patient but he has next to no drive just barely doing what must be done sort of thing almost as if he is not on full money and won’t do more than he is paid for.So what has been done? Lines from her wrists have now gone as is the last drain as that was the cause of the leak on her tummy i noticed (see below) and her fentanol patch is now gone.Right moan over ...shaz has had her roll, got the dressing changed I pointed out was leak from a dressing underneath onto her gown when I came in!, I also pointed out the oxygen mask was not turned on on the regulator (I only noticed as her blood oxygen was down to 94/95) I had asked her to do some more deep breathing to bring it back up to the 99/100 it had been but it would not budge. I then plugged in the mains lead as the battery warning started to go off on one of the infusion machines as he was on his other break (as he has worked so hard.....meow.) , another nurse came over just as i finished doing it . The nurse that helped him to do the turn had got some more ice water in a bowel so I have cooled her down all by 15:30 and re brushed and plaited her hair again.Shaz has been comfy for a little over 2 and a half hours and a touch of the uncomfies coming on and would like a position change, so I asked him to do it for her when he can. I am getting rather hungry now so plan on going for lunch at 5.....Mmmmm pork chops roast potatoes veg and gravy and a bread and butter pudding with custard as an old school pud :) and a cup of herbal tea (healthy option) to wash it down.Back down and shaz is still asleep. She awakes on and off but mainly stays asleep until the nurse lets me know at 18:20 that he will roll her the last time of his shift. Gets rolled and is a little better but laying on her left side is not her most comfy one so I have to tweak her a little more. 20:40 and night shift comes in and it was one of the nurses that she had last week and got on really well with, she promises once she has done the handover she will turn her to her comfy side have a bed wash and make her all snugly so she can have a good night’s sleep.Musings

I have to say Sharon's restlessness and irritability may be down to coming off of fentanol (she had an extra one that she obviously did not need and the same sort of thing happened then) , she was only uncomfortable at a few points during the day, I believe the only pain control she had had was having IV paracetamol. And the deal with the nurse may just be that she just did not click with him.

Not a bad day as we are still plodding on in the right direction, no pain or issues so all good :)

Sunday 13th

Well I arrived at 11 am to find that Sharon's was being turned over. Why they wait until the start of visiting time is beyond me! Just tried to be let in at 20 past then again at 11:45 , this time a young nurse came out to say they was just changing dressings as one is oozing a little ,nothing to worry about and she knows I have buzzed 3 times but done worry. I asked her to give me a shout when it's OK to come back in wich in due time she did In the mean time the visitors lounge had the TV on the Hochanda channel , the one shaz was talking about before she went in for the op. I don't know if she was aware but all it has been showing this morning for the past 45 minutes is teleshopping the same bunch of garden plants! My brain has just about turned to jelly now. I like gardening don't get me wrong but to repeat the same info for now 50 minutes falls into the boring category to me. I am sure shaz was lead to believe this was a craft based channel that was supposed to compete with the likes of Create and craft. Ooo they are about to leave the set at 12:00 and promise to be back at 13:00 soooo looking forward to that!Advert break and to be fair the many of the adverts shown would interest her even the gardening segments but the slots are tooooo long Imo it honestly began to feel like it was stuck in a loop and just went over and over about the same stuff!The above is precisely why i do not watch shopping channels.My morning moan/afternoon by now out of the wayBeen in with shaz for just half hour and they are in need to do something I forget why now told you my brain is just about fried from shopping channel overload ha ha but anyway i get shunted out, as its half 1 i break for lunch. Minced beef pie, mash, carrots and gravy (no pud it looked nasty) Today has been mainly about getting shaz off the drugs she had been on to stabilize her and when stable they are looking at getting her up onto a ward soon (Yay). But first they have to ensure her levels are OK, her potassium had been an issue but that is now ok.So they are moving her round to by the window so her body clock can adjust itself back to where it should be, she had been in the corner with no natural light for the last 10 days. She will still be on the same area ward A; it now her bed number is changing from bed 21 to bed 8. She is all settled in and didn't even wake her as they wheeled the entire bed round.She awoke about 10 minutes after the move and needed a change again but within an hour she was restless again and had a numb buttock, I tried massaging her leg but it didn't help. So she was turned again and the nurse noticed the bed had deflated a fair bit as although the beds plug was plugged back in, the socket wasn't working so the mattress was almost fully deflated hence the numb buttock, she is very chatty and i ask the nurse if she can have her hair washed as she is desperately in need of it. She gets bed baths but her hair looks and smells like it has not been washed in all the time she has been in there for, i brushed and re plat it for her.At 17:30 she has another roll and i am off for a break beef curry and rice with a cup of tea. There is talk of her maybe going up onto a ward tomorrow but nothing has been finalized as yet. As she had been having clonidine for the last 24 hours they are now weaning her of that as she can't have it in her when she goes upstairs, I assume it is something to do with the drains? Am off home now at 20:10 as she is just about to have another turn and then settle in for the night.All in all another super smashing great day, another step closer to coming home

Monday 14th

Awesome news , Sid woke up this morning ( tummy) with a vengeance and just as soon as there is a bed available she will be up on the ward she still has the catheter in and would rather have visitors when that is out. She has also a tube in her nose that they will be taking out soon. So very very happy now

Tuesday 15th

Shaz has been moved onto the ward now she is on ward 728 bed 20. She has the Tummy line out that was in her nose, she can eat soft food . just had a few fork fulls of pasta and the some of jelly and ice cream ( more ice cream than jelly) funny that ha ha. She is a lot happier now too. . no more tripping out either by the looks of it. I am of to the car to get her bags and a mocha on the way back for her. a medium mocha is to much as she just manages a few sips so from tomorrow it will be a medium and a small than :)All in a I so happy i look like a Cheshire cat :)

Wednesday 16th

Shaz has made huge progress today , before i had gotten there with the aid of a walker she got out one side the bed and walked all the way round to the other then back in .I got her to practice with the lung exerciser where you suck into it and see how high you can get the float and this time she managed to max it out.Then to top it off while i went for lunch she cleared it with the nurse to allow her (with my help) to walk to the other side the room to the toilet and freshen up , then walked all the way back again .She is on a mission , so extremely proud of her :)

Thursday 17th

I reckon Marg could be right regarding training for a marathon as she had a walk part way round the ward this morning before i got there . She had also cleared it with Steve the mail nurse that i could shower her and wash her hair for her (still had not been done since she had been in) she once we had caught up that is precisely what went down. Organized some fresh towels and clean gown got her wash bag together and off we went to the shower cubical for what felt to shaz like a make over :)She also asked me to take a picture of her flap so she could see it , i must admit this part i had been dreading as Shaz being shaz is pretty vain to say the least so her ass being so radically different i expected a mini melt down . but she surprised me yet again :)I left her getting ready to snuggle down for the night as she was pretty worn out, she did go all soppy on me . You know that fuzzy contented look you see on your tother half's face when they are really really happy . That is the look i saw on shaz as i left to go to work tonight :)

Friday 18th

Well today shaz has mainly been silly and impressive. Allow me to elaborate , I Had a text last night about half 9 to say she had had a nap and felt fantastic after the shower and thanked me; She also said she was starting to feel creative again and asked if i could bring in the notebook i bought her for Christmas so she could start making notes.Then this morning I woke up at about 12 am , checked my phone to find not one but 2 further messages from shaz , first is to say that the bags she had been using have started to give a rash so could i take in the Salts ones, these she never has a problem with so i sort out a box. next message could i bring in another pair of slippers as these got wet in the shower and that i would need a bag for damp stuff! I must confess to not having a clue what she was talking about as i showered her the day before and did her hair and i was very careful to ensure that her slippers and other things were out of the way from the spray of water. Any way i texted her back and sure enough she had had another shower this morning with the aid of a nurse and she forgot to take her slippers off (i have to confess i laughed more than just a little at that) .Now the impressive side , she walked with the aid of the nurse (no frame) most the way back to her bed. Stopped the last few paces shy off the bed and did the rest on her own. so the nurse has now confiscated the frame all together.It gets better.

When i got there she asked me to draw the curtain round and asked me to move the table out the way. She lowered the bed and slowly got out of bed and walked the 3 paces to me to give me a hug : ) i proper welled up :) What a trooper.Wait...........it gets even betterThen she said she had cleared it for me to assist her in going for another walk around the ward , we walked out the bay and past not one but two distance markers so she could weigh herself as she was convinced the amount the scales said she has lost the day before was wrong.She then walked all the way back with just 2 pauses for steadying herself. I did have my arm under her arm pit in-case she went but it was not needed. Then the she said as long as the bloods they took this morning come back OK she can have the last of the lines out , when we got back they popped in and took the arterial line out. I don't know if you have ever seen one of these come out but the line that is inside of her (and i am not jesting here) was at least 18" to 24" long , it was like she was reeling in a fish or something .Not impressive enough for you?Wait...........it gets even more better (i know poor grammar but it sounds cool)You remember the surgeon that cleared the infection while i was there , well he has checked in on her a few times since she has been on the ward (as has others) and he is so impressed with her that he asked Sharon as to how long she thinks she will be in for , Shaz says maybe a week to 10 days dependent on her strength , he say no i reckon you will be going home next week.Now this is just the one surgeon and not the lead one so things could change but .............Impressed much? I am and so extremely proud of herDoes happy dance

Saturday 19th

Been a busy one today and a soppy one to.I had a text this morning saying she has ok'd it with a nurse for me to take her out into the fresh air today for no more than half hour at a time due to sitting on a non air cushion, and that i needed to collect a wheelchair from downstairs for her as they don't keep them on the wards. So i get the bag i put together for her the night before, longer nighties , dark chocolate and dry slippers . Did i mention before how far it is from the lifts to the ward, i don't think i did? Well i kid you not; ward 728 is about 150/200 meters away and the lift , and the lift itself is easily 100 meters from the entrance. Her ward must have the fittest staff and visitors is all i can say.She had been to the loo to freshen up during the morning but that was about it . So off we go , the long walk to the lift then all the way back to the entrance to and out into the fresh air, i wheel her round to the outside tables and nip in for out drinks. Then i see mini coffee and walnut cakes waving at me, Would have been so rude to not acknowledge them wouldn't it? so 2 of them and mocha's on a tray i go round and join her for some chill out time, the sun is out and we have possibly the best drink and cake in the world. Nothing could go wrong with that.Well maybe if i thought about cake to go with drinks while i was upstairs i would have picked up Sharon's gnashers ha ha ha .Mine was nice though, shaz ended up with a bag to go. We were sat down wind of the smoking shelters and shaz said she found the smell appalling there was also a woman pacing back n forth behind us with one of the vaper ones and that smelt awful to her too. Well i got her back a little after time (didn't get told off) nor did the wheel chair turn into a pumpkin which was good as i planned on returning it for my pound back.

To pass the time i manicured her nails applied hand-cream to her very dry elbows caused by the way she mimics a pterodactyl to manoeuvre her self in the bed.

For lunch the only thing Sharon ordered due to the poor choice of soft food was an egg and cress sandwich, side of chips and ice-cream, all of which she promptly cancelled when it came round. Since as i had the chair here still i took my wife to dinner in the restaurant where she had breaded fish , chips and peas:)Then when i got her and her numb buttocks back (possibly been on them too long by now) she went all soppy on me for spoiling her, the vows i took state for better or worse , in sickness and in health etc well i stand by them.

A By the way

Shaz has a pile of cards in the house on our dining room table , but unfortunately there is nowhere to put them on the ward , beside s shaz said she would rather open them when she is home (which wont be long now by the looks of it) , Shoshi i did take the one in you asked me to and that is now on our book case.

Shaz says to say thank you all for them and the lovely messages

Sunday 20th

Not much really to add today as i spent most of it driving one way or another ,we had made plans to fetch Sharon's mom and sister today for a visit as Shaz was well enough, which in itself is a half hour drive to get to where they live , then a further hour each way from where they live to the hospital. Sharon's youngest Mikey and his fiancée KT also visited for the first time today so the ward has been a little busy

The visits went well i think they were impressed with how good Sharon looks considering what she has gone through, but it did wear her out, she said you can understand why they limit the amount of time and quantity of visitors due to how tiring it can be Then once i dropped them off i went back again in hope that i could take Sharon down for dinner again. But i was too late , tomorrow it is then :)

so it feels like i spent the whole day travelling ha ha I snook another picture , mums the word so don't tell her.

The bruising on her left arm the round one is from the line that went into her heart, the on in the crook of the arm from the number of times they had to redo the other lines .

Monday 21st

Apologies for the late update all and how short it is but i am doing this one during my lunch break at work at 2 in the morning lol

Got woken at 12 lunch time today by a text from shaz to remind me to bring in some more bitter lemon, and to bring a suitcase to take some of her stuff away in as they are going to be letting her home in a day or two :) the text was followed by an apology for waking me too by the way.

How frigging cool is that, i must admit that my stress level hit the roof when she said that, as while i would love to have her home we both know there is no way on earth she is up to tackling the stairs yet and she still has open wounds that need to heal from the inside out.But i have come up with a plan for that as her plan was to sleep on the recliner (not having that, she nap on it during the day but not all night) I will ask work if i can start a couple of hours later and do my full shift so as to finish later too. This will mean i can help her to bed and get her up in the morning just until she can do it herself.

She would also like to have a small mocha when i get there, i also need to remember a wheelchair so i can take her to dinner later :).

So with the back pack in tow with her clean nighties i get there cant find a chair for her so had to pop back down for one later on.

We both had a nice chicken curry and rice.

Will be nice to have the wifelet back home again

Tuesday 22 & Wednesday23rd ( 2 Parter )

updating on Wednesday morning

I only managed a relatively short visit just 3hrs yesterday (Tuesday)due to being so tired that i didn't wake up until half three . I tried to do a full shift so left work at 06:15.

Had a text (most likely what woke me ) with orders to grab another wheel chair as the catheter was out now so i could take shaz down for costas then dinner again.

By the way shaz had cottage pie and i had had some weird vegetable pancake and chips that was rather nice. spent a bit of time sorting out stuff she didn't need to keep at the hospital leaving only and would be easier to carry out in a backpack.

Shaz had said that the nurse needed to see that shaz was able to pee 3 times in order for her to be happy to release her to come home today.

around half six shaz says she feel like she needs a wee so off she tods to the toilet and i stand guard outside , couple of minutes pass and out she comes , saying well maybe she didn't after al.

Well i leave instructions for her to message me to say when she does her first pee (sad right lol) and off i go home to get ready for work

No message received by a little after 10 last night so i send one asking if things are ok and if she had peed yet.

I was busy at work as machines needed to be set, there was a big visit the next day and the next chance i had to check my phone was around half eleven ish (don't recall the time to be honest but i know it was pre midnight) as i felt like going to the hospital

At 10.38 i had had the kind of reply i didn't want,a reply that left me numb with concern at how Shaz must have been feeling, on top of which I went numb with how i was feeling too . My brain went into melt down.

Wednesday 23rd (Part 1)

Well they say things are sent to test us and in our case i would say we feel like we should be stood in the corner with a dunce hat on.

The text read as follows

Hi Hublet.may be a problem.Wet the bed Just. No sensation of full bladder or weeing.was just about to text you and saw your message.may end up not coming home tomorrow.I'll let you know what the doc says in the morning , followed by a lot of crying emoticons.

Well i went back into the office and looked up the phone number for the ward she was now on ( didnt need it before had the one downstairs) and found a quite spot where i could phone the ward to speak to the nurse looking after her, Shaz was asleep at the time so i asked if i could come in outside visiting hours in the morning? to be told i would need to phone at 07:30 to speak to the sister in charge that will be on next.

I left work at 2 am so i could be at the hospital in time for the doctors rounds at 08:30/09:00. gets home and sleep/snooze on the recliner ( yes hypocrite right) with the alarm set for half seven. The nurse passed the message on for Shaz to phone me but would not allow me to visit as they are too busy.

Shaz phoned me at 08:10 to say the doc thinks she has a water infection , it may have been introduced when the catheter was removed , that kind of makes sense as one of her wounds that needs to heel on her belly weeps a lot from the infection she had. She asked for her nighties to be took back in along with her dressing gown.

So want to hug her right now! will update with part 2 for today later at some point.

Wednesday 23rd (Part 2)

The above phone call to say she is feeling better and not as disappointed as i expected her to be, she is being pretty level headed as she knows that there was no way she (or I) would have been able to cope with the level of pain she was in had she been at home. She sounded pretty beaten/deflated underneath the morphine . I told her i wanted to come in and that i had phoned last night, then again at 07:30 after the shift change but was not allowed to do so.

A little later she called me back to say she had cleared it with the nurse for me to come in and see her for 1pm and hour and half before official visiting starts, and to bring in more lemon squash an icelolly as they are trying to get her temperature down as it was above 40* but no costas or chair as she had been throwing up all night.

She also cleared it with the nurse for me to give her a bed bath of sorts , this didn't happen as i was falling asleep and needed to get back to get some sleep before night shift tonight.

She had had an X-Ray as she was also having some breathing difficulties but they were happy with the results.

Felt so good to be able to give her a hug when i got there , as much for me as her if i am honest.

There is talk of her coming home once the urologists have seen her, The catheter is back in by the way so the pressure pain is no more now. They may send her home with another bag for the pee until the bruising and swelling on her tummy is down, then try again with the removal..

She will be home just don't know when though.

Thursday 24th

Sharon's temperature is back down to normal, but her haemoglobin is low again (borderline) so she may have another transfusion, she is happy about staying in as she said if the infection had took hold while she was at home she would have been in all sorts of trouble.

She has also had another change of scenery as she has been moved to a room of her own (room 23) on the same ward.

So she has her own toilet, sink and shower (so I plan on giving her a shower tomorrow) as they needed the block of 4 for the new patients from theatre today.

She still isn't eating much due to the tummy shrinkage, but then she is not impressed with ward hospital food so she tends to leave it most the time, the restaurant food she is fine with so i will be taking her down there every day just so she can have a decent meal. Incidentally I brought in a cheese and ham panini today along with the costas coffee as i missed breakfast and she managed a little of that so i will be getting 2 tomorrow :).

All in all she is happy, she knows that in maybe a week she will be home either with a catheter; hopefully without, but she will be home soon.

There is talk of the staples coming out Monday , but i am concerned that there is still some leakage from the flap area, so maybe staying longer is for the better.

Friday 25th

Should have known Shaz was not happy today as the house tends to play up, I came down stairs to find the the air-wick air freshener in pieces on the floor in her room next to the book case, batteries and refill in a pile.

As foretold the day didn't start so well for her, the catheter came apart at some pint in the night and sids bag leaked leaving her in a mess, a nurse was asked to help but no help came straight away, the nurse shaz asked to help popped her head in to say she is busy and will be back in a bit, an HOUR later shaz spots Maddie one of the nurses we know who practically drags another nurse down to clean her up and change the bedding, she also had to have a shower .

She still has no appetite a mouthful and she is full even then she feels like she is forcing the food down .

While having a room to yourself can be a great thing for privacy and own shower etc, it can also be the loneliest place when all you have is 4 walls and your own thoughts of not doing very well.Anyone that knows shaz will know just how Stubborn, self sufficient, Independent, so not being able to do as much as she wants or used to is a very bitter pill to swallow.

With the set back from not coming home, the second infection leaving her weak so it is even more of a struggle to anything, then waking up to a soiled and wet bed it was inevitable that things came to a bit of a head.

So after a mini melt down and many cuddles i convinced her that we should go out for a walk of sorts , see what is out side.The talk and fresh air worked wonders as she was loads better once outside. when you have been with your partner/better/other half for a while 25 years in our case you see into the soul when you look in there eyes, you recognize there pain/sorry/anguish and the flip side .

Today i saw both sides and for now at least. Shaz was happy again

Edit

may be coming home either Tuesday or Wednesday next week

Shaz was happy again

Edit

may be coming home either Tuesday or Wednesday next week

Saturday 26th

Not a bad day truth be told, Shaz had a very busy one visitor wise . Her eldest and daughter inlaw came n the morning and some friends came not long after i arrived in the afternoon so soon wore shaz out .

Did manage to shower her but didn't manage to take her out anywhere as time was getting on and she was feeling pretty cold and worn out

She was complaining about being cold , which is not normal for shaz as she never normally feels the cold, but to look at her you can see she has lost weight, even if the scales does not reflect the amount the my eye says has been lost, her hands and face is very thin.

I was aware that she had staples removed in her tummy that the docs placed a bag over to help drain the infection I was not aware that more than one bunch of staples had been removed to aid the removal of the infection, The white tissue that is coming out of the holes (each must be the size of a 10 pence piece) is not a pretty sight i can tell you.

She managed to eat a small amount of rice pudding while i was there but didn't fancy coming down to the restaurant when i went down for dinner.

More than just a little concerned at how little she is eating cant get stronger without eating anything, and i can see sooner than later the need to another TPN drip being used to feed her before long :(

Sunday 27th

The difference 24 hours can make.....

Got there today with 2 bottles of lucozade a bottle of ribina squash and 2 bottles of robinsons apple and black current squash as she was running low, and in fact she had drunk the whole bottle of lucozade and her black dressing gown with snoopy on it to keep her warm on our days out.

So what has she been up to today then? Apart from.....

Walk ALL the way to the exit of the ward and back on her own

Eat at ALL of her breakfast Eat 3/4 of her dinner and ALL her pudding.

And

Then for those not on facebook i will fill you in, I took her down to costas again today before our walk/push call it what you like but i know one of us had the short straw and he is busy typing this.

To go along with her mocha I bought another cheese and ham panini and she even managed half of that too :) while i took the healthier option (ignore the fact i just had the other half of last nights mammoth 12" pizza with a cheese filled crust for breakfast) , i shall just gloss over that :) we then walked round to where the owl was then turned right to do a bit of a circuit then back to the main entrance of the hospital , which just so happened to be ALL up hill.

Came away a little earlier today as i need to get some sleep so as to be able to shift my sleep pattern forward for nights again as i didn't get much sleep last night as i had a bit of a late one as my two brothers came over for a quite night in with a few bevies and a some music.

I do believe Shaz is back or at the very least is making a concerted effort to get back.

Does a happy dance ..............then sleeps a bit

Edit

Got up in time for the eclipse and took a few snaps

It is not easy not to feel a little deflated after such a great day yesterday...

Monday 28th

Shaz felt cold , not to the touch but she was actually shivering while in bed snuggled under the blanket, so i didnt take her outside today. She ate most of her breakfast and almost all her dinner, but her appetite was gone again by lunch time. I think partly down to the penicillin she had been on this last week causing food to pass straight through her so they had started to give her some stuff to thicken things up. resulting in Sid sleeping for a couple of days as he has had little to do, either that or it has gone the other way.

Anyway One of the sisters came in to take a look at the dressings as they needed to be changed again and as soon as she took the dressings off she said that's not right it smells off and offered me to have a sniff and sure enough the one hole smelt kind of odd

Not the most reassuring thing to say when there are two rather large holes in the tummy; one just over the size of a 50 pence piece (level with the solar plexus and at least an inch deep) the other the same depth but the size of a 2 pence and located just below where the belly button should be (she no longer has one so jokingly says she is an alien) incidentally the holes are linked by a windy row of staples that that continue down past the navel.

She flips shaz over to look at the flap and is not happy there either s the seams have come apart on two sections either side of it

Swabs have been taken and a new water sample taken , results from the swab will be back tomorrow but it looks like she has another infection again as she did a test on the water. But they checked her vitals and her blood pressure was up as was her temperature by a degree at 37.7

I think i actually feel more deflated than Sharon does as she is resigned to the fact that she will not be out until the weekend at the earliest, but we will see.

Really hoping they are on top of things tomorrow ........

Tuesday 29th

Where to start.....The beginning seems like a plan.

To say i was concerned as to how i was to find Sharon as in did she still have a temperature, did they start any antibiotics etc was doubled when i say the red hair dye on the pillow as that is normally a sign of either washed her hair (didn't look like it had been washed) or been sweating a lot, add to which Shaz was fast asleep.

paranoia can be a cruel passenger at times as it niggles.

So of i trot to find a nurse or sister to fill me in on things, but the Sister was busy and said she would pop in and see me shortly.

True to her word she did , loudly and woke Sharon, it turned out that the morning had been eventful for a number of reasons, firstly her staples have been removed all 57 of them (not including the ones that were removed to leave the open wounds discussed yesterday) so probably around 65 in total.

She had also almost fainted when she went to have a wash and had to get a nurse to help her back into the room , and they removed the catheter bag and put a tap on it.

They did the rounds and while her blood (haemoglobin) is still a little low (not quite borderline) they were still happy with her. They would have actually let her go home today had she not almost face planted the floor.

Anyway regarding the catheter tap......

We were lead to believe the point to it was to let the bladder fill to the point where you feel like you need to go, well she had been waiting this for a while so by 6pm Shaz decided should give it a try as they wanted her to practice using it to see how she gets on.

Well with me there for support if needed she got off the bed and trotted off to the bathroom to find the bed she left was wet. It would appear that there had been a leek...

It would appear that timing needs to be key as as yet she can not feel when the bladder is full so it simply works its way past the catheter tube.

Anyway they are going to do another blood test first thing and as long as the levels are fine i get to take my wifelet back home, i have spoken to work about having a couple of days off and they are fine about it as i still have 2 long service days so I will be taking those this week finger crossed. Happy Dance Time

Wednesday 30th

When i finished work this morning i spent a couple of hours doing housework before i went to bed , cleaned the floor downstairs and put some things away in preparation of Shaz coming home

What i would love to write is how i went to the QE for the last time to take home my wonderful Wife, but that is now what happened today unfortunately.

You see 2.5 hours after i went to bed i get a message from Shaz that reads....

Morning Hublet,looks like a change of plans and i wont be coming home today after all.

Bloods came back still showing signs of an infection so they want a CT scan to figure out if its my tummy "Hopefully" it will be today he said, then they have to decide what they are going to do about it , so it looks like a few days yet, :(

Will need more lucozade and squash .XXXXXX.

So that is where we are, She has had 2 lots of IV antibiotics (had to put a fresh line in)

Doing a not so happy dance again ;(

Thursday 1st

Just a quick update as break is almost over

Shaz had her scan and it came back negative, they were looking for anomalies that could be pockets of pus etc but they were happy with them so will be investigating other avenues.

Shaz is well in herself but i can see the strain in her eyes of the prospect of another week in hospital so i am preparing for another crash that will no doubt happen sooner rather than later.

Must come up with a cunning plan to cheer her up to try and head it off......

Friday 2nd

Well not much to say today other than i was a little late to get to the QE as British gas were due out for a service on the boiler that i had forgotten about.

So i phoned on the way to ask her if she wanted anything but she wasn't hungry.

So i grabbed a panini and a mango cream cooler , just after i finished eating she decided that she was hungry so i went down to fetch her a toasted sandwich that Costa managed to over cook/dry it out a bit. Tomorrow she wants me to stop off at a snack van on the way and get her a sausage ,egg and mushroom sandwich on crusty so she cant be too bad :) I managed to take her into the shower and this time do her hair as well, a clean bird tends to be a happy one from past experience. Well we are half way through this lot of IV so not long now ......I hope

Sharon's youngest son Mikey gave me a little snoopy last night to give her, so picture is included :)

Saturday 3rd

Well I said i would grab a sandwich for her and i did , she managed almost half f it too (was not a small one i can tell you. we chatted for a bit and as it was not a very warm day out i decided to see shaz stroll for myself. The times we go out side she stays in the wheelchair so the furthest i have seen her walk is to the bathroom and back.

With the destination of the the exit of the ward as the target (the same point she made it to less than a week prior) we set off, this time she made around 25ft before being exhausted and needing to turn around and come back. While this may seem a set backwards i can't say i expected to see her managing further, You see she has basically stays in bed of late and doing very little, she can lye on her back if she wants and while she has a chair she seldom uses it. She will improve now that she has to get out of bed to use the bathroom now she has a tap on the catheter.

But boy does the effort involved drain her physically, As she says it is a confidence thing as her left leg feels sort of numb most of the time as does her buttock.

So to get a grasp as to what she was talking about i got her to lay on one side and ran my finger from her waist to her buttock and in the direction of the flap and asked her to say when she could not feel it any more. I would say from half way down her but to the base of her thigh neither the skin or muscle has any sensation at the moment. I got her to turn over and repeated the process her right side . This side is better as it is fine on the back until you get close to the flap, then it has to sensation of being touched. while lay on the back the top of the left thigh is fine while the right hand side lacks sensation.

I dare say that she has a lot of healing to do still and a lot of the feeling will eventually come back but for the moment walking is a challenge that she will need to adapt to.

So in the mean time i need to make some changes at home, first of is hand rails on the wall down to the kitchen. while it is not many steps she will need something to hold onto to get get down there.

second is i am going to see if i can fit brackets to the top of the book cases so she can use the fixed middle shelf as a steady on the way through the dining room.

We have also had an update on the IV she is on, that finishes on Monday and shaz is adamant she is coming home then as she has well and truly had enough now!

Lets see what the docs say on that score, i would not want to be the doc that says she cant.

Oh and she wants a Mc chicken sandwich and small fries tomorrow and a very small milkshake .

Sunday 4th

Well I got up early (for me considering i am a night shift worker) and went off to BnQ for a hand rail and hardware for them (needed to make two short lengths) crikey the hard ware is not cheap!

When i get back i have my saw horse all set up and have made my cuts attached the hardware , realised that i left the battery in the stud detector and it have elaked all inside not only that but my spare would not work either even when i swapped out the battery with a known working one. So i had to go back out and get another . cant be drilling into walls of a house this old without checking first.

when i got back Shaz phoned, Her day did not start so well, She went to the bathroom with both hands full an over night bag for her catheter in one hand and sids bag of supplies in the other. She over reached with her right leg so all her weight was on the other and it gave way.

No real damage done thank god a light graze on her right knee and a huge dent to her pride and ego .

I think she is starting to realize that she is going to need help with things in the short term.

I read an interesting article regarding nerve regeneration in Sharon's case it is classed as Peripheral nervous system regeneration and those can regenerate. In some cases you wont get 100% back but you will get a lot back, so all being well given time she should get some (if not most) of her feeling back in her leg and buttock and tummy.

We still have no news on if she is coming home tomorrow as that will be down to the doctor to decide when they do the round, I know how much shaz wants to come home and while i do want her back is am concerned as to how immobile she is. If is going to be hard i am not going to lie but damn it will be great to have her home again after almost 5 weeks.

On a lighter note she damn near wolfed the M'cDonalds down this morning leaving just a small bite and has said she may well go with the same again but will text me to let me know.

On the left is a picture of said hand rail over the stairs i build not long after we moved in you can see just how steep they are, the kitchen floor is ceramic tiles so you know that will not only hurt but could cause some serious damage.

The stairs could do with stripping back and a fresh coat of varnish now, the right hand picture is from the kitchen. i will be moving the plant just as soon as i find a more sensible home for it.

Thanks for the heads up regarding changes as i am sure she will really benefit from a wet room as at the moment we have a shower over a bath setup , I bought a chair last week so she can sit and i shower her as her being able to shower herself is at least a month or two off at least.

Lastly i would like say a huge thank you for my card from Debbie rock from somewhere in Scotland.

Sharon has just two so far One from Shoshi that she left instruction for me to take into her, and one from Shaz in Oz as it was sent one to the ward :) she would like to open the rest when she gets home,

All the cards are all very much appreciated, Just as soon as shaz is up to it i am sure she will be blogging about her stay and how you have all helped her cope with this.

Thank you XxX

Monday 5th

Had a text at 8:30 in the morning to say that she wont be out before Wednesday at the earliest as they want to do an ultrasound scan on her left kidney as they think there may be a blockage in there causing the infections, she told him that she wanted to come home So the doctor said he would try and get her home for Wednesday and change the scan to an outpatient one but he cant promise, she thought about it afterwards and passed a message back saying she may as well just stay put until after the scan.

The docs also confirmed what i found about the day before regarding the nerve damage so we are both very pleased by that, apparently they grow about an inch a month so it will take time is all.

Break time is over so I may update it a little more when i get home

Back home again now,

The McDonalds is a nightmare, it is only 3 mile from the hospital but off different roads unfortunately for me it actually steels almost 50 minutes from the time i have for my visit, as i get there order wait then drive to the hospital traffic that time of day is dreadful, but she is worth it ha ha anyway where was I... Ah yes there was a physiotherapist in with her and she was just getting Sharon out the bed for a walk, i carried on unpacking the cans of coke i brought in she wanted and new magazines ; not forgetting the all important almost cold by now McD's. and was ready for when they came back into the room. The physio did a similar check that i did with her as shaz commented on the numbness and said she would pass on the findings to the docs.

I think that about sums it up for now.

Sleep time for me.Just a heads up, i have changed the comments box to the pop out type as shaz said that sometimes helps with the ones that cant comment, let me know if it helps please.

Tuesday 6th

A confusing start to the day as a lot of the time Sharon's phone sends duplicate text messages so i had taken to just reading the first one if they look the same, well today will teach me to do a better job of skim reading them. I get one text to say the scan is now booked for tomorrow not Thursday and that the plan was to scan her then send her home.

So with her coming home i sorted a place for a bar stool for use in the kitchen and a place to store it out the way and organised what i needed to take, went to tesco on the way out to get her some coke both normal and caffeine free

so all was well and shaz was coming home tomorrow; that was what i had in my head when i left to get her mc'D , however when i arrived she had a blood transfusion going, turns out the other text was sent 20 minutes after and the plan had changed again, this time another 48 hours of antibiotics plus 2 units of blood followed by a day of observation if all is fine and no repeat spikes then she can come home Friday/Saturday.

The urologist came in to see her while i was there and was saying about how the left kidney is not functioning properly and how the one way valve isn't closing allowing the urine to flow back into the kidney, he thinks this is the cause of the infection. there is talk of draining it of via a tube inserted through her back. But he is going to wait on the ultrasound to make a decision. (stents were inserted to keep the valves open but have since been removed).

As for how she is doing , the strain is well and truly showing...on both of us now, she had it in her head she had been in 6 weeks but it is 5 (feels longer i admit) she is starting to get quite upset by how little progress she feels she is making as something else keeps going wrong. she is also upset that she may not be home for our wedding anniversary Saturday and got quite teary over that, telling her we will have many more and many other special us days in the future and i will be here Saturday didn't help much.

She was a lot better when i left but un-shed tears were still present in her eyes were still there.

Got a text later when i got home to say she was a lot better now and that she loved me etc , so she probably knew i could see them as i left.

It is hard , really really hard . we so need a break but that will be long way off.

Wednesday 7th

Had a text to say she has had her scan , the actually scanned both (i assume the right one as a reference) not had any feed back yet , she also had her walking stick one of the wooden ones with the crook handle and it helps a lot.

You cant beat a sausage, egg & mushroom sandwich with red sauce on crusty bread........Mmmmm heaven, a well known fact that it is the food of the gods so it is. (mine also had rashers of bacon on it)

Especially when it is hand delivered piping hot as i am using the fridge .

She had been for a walk with the stick and is a lot more confident going for a walk now, the physio was happy with how she was using it too and didn't need any instruction for its use either. I suppose when you need one it becomes instinctive?

The sister mentioned when i arrived that she was concerned that Shaz seems to spend most of if not all of it lay in the bed and that she needs to try to be sat out more and encourage her to go for walks etc

Anyway once lunch was consumed (all bar the crust's but that tends to be normal when you are getting full, eat the good stuff lol) i let it settle down and encouraged her to go for another walk, she almost made it down to the exit this time and back with just a slight pause along the way back.

within 10 minuets she had her breath back, so you can see she is getting her stamina back a lot quicker to be honest than she ever did before, its amazing what coming of the cigarettes has done for her.

Around an hour later (about 5 ish) i suggested going for another walk this time the other direction to the nurses station, she looked at me as if i was mad ha ha but she did it with ease in fact she carried on past it for about 20 yards then came back this time no stops. It also gives the sister and idea as to how she is doing.

It goes without saying that I would never push her into doing anything i know she is not up to doing.

Another good reason to motivate her is so we can build her stamina back up as she will need it once she comes back out. I mentioned to shaz somewhat the sister said when i arrived when we got back from the second walk and she was surprised as she had been told all along that she couldn't sit out for more than 30 minutes at a time due to the flap.

Thursday 8th

Just a quick update as i have to go to sleep now, urologist had a different scan done a Mag3 this morning before i arrived so they could see the kidney in action, results were not good.

results came back this afternoon so we had a visit from one of the urologists . Just 24% is working so they are going to perform a procedure in the morning (Friday) to drain it as it is swollen and if possible add a stent (if the valve is shut) or clear the blockage in order to save the kidney.

Shaz is in full on panic attack mode as this is being done under a local so i have just finished work and grabbing a few hours sleep so i can get there to calm her before they take her in.

I am fuming as the first infection was 3 weeks ago now she is at risk of loosing a kidney, i know you can survive with just the one as my brother had to have one removed but surely it should have been checked for performance before this!

anyway rant over need to calm down ready to calm Sharon down in a bit.The straw that broke the camels back was part of a bale this time!

Friday 9th

Well i finished work at 2am grabbed a few hours kip and got to the hospital for 9.30 in the morning,Shaz was sleeping when i arrived. She was a lot calmer today than i expected (probably calmer that she expected all things considered).

And so the long wait began for them to take the blood test the urologist wanted before they took her down to drain the kidney.

11 o'clock came and we reminded the nurse that bloods were needed as the urologist said that yesterday.

12 o'clock comes and goes and shaz says to me i bet come 5 o'clock they say they cant do it and come up with some lame excuse.

1 o'clock comes and goes so i go up to the desk and ask what is going on lunch time has been and gone and shaz is still waiting, they say they are waiting on the urology department as no time is still showing as to when they are going to perform it. I tell them the same thing again, the male urologist that came in to see us yesterday told the both of us that they will be doing it around lunch time.

One of the military Doctors pass a little after 2 and shaz calls him over and explains to him that she has not had a drink or any thing to eat since last night and nobody seems to know when she will be being taken down and she still has not had the blood test done. so off he goes and gets the gear for the blood tests and does them himself . Then promptly marches off to find out what is going on , It is almost 3:30 by the time he returns and says the urology team are waiting on the imaging team and that it is a case of the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing and to leave it with him. Sharon repeats that she is thirsty and hungry as she has been nil by mouth since 6am but not had anything since last night, he informs her that the rule is a maximum 30mil s she can wet her mouth is she needs to be no more than that.

At 4.45 ish a lackey from the urology team comes in and says it will be Monday or Tuesday as they have to have someone from the imaging team present and they wont be free until then.

How either of us remained calm and didn't rip his head off is beyond me, I simply said well i am sorry but that is simply not good enough , why was sharon and I told it will be today and lunch time to be specific ? I pointed at the board behind the bed that said NILL BY MOUTH FROM 6AM and said that there means we was ready and that Sharon has had to starve and have nothing to drink all day you need to do better, I even booked a half days holiday at work to be here before she goes down.

Off he trots to call someone. Shaz asks for a glass of coke, drains it and has another When he comes back ....Sheepishly i might add there is no change.

Fuming again to say the least , i thought they were supposed to be trying to save the kidney , now they are not going near it for the entire weekend.

So off i get to find a wheelchair (ask the nurse on the way back if i can bring flowers in but i cant bring real ones in) we go down to the restaurant for dinner, vegetable moussaka , twas very nice

I leave a little calmer but dumbfounded at the inept communication between departments as it sounds like the urology department didn't book someone from imaging.

Getting wound up just writing this.Anyway on a happier note the forged rose i ordered for her arrived today it weighs about 1kg, and its length is around 50cm

Saturday 10th

We both had a lovely day today and didn't give yesterday any thought at all.

got up early again for me and swapped out the socket faces we have either side of the bed for some with dual 2amp usb ports built in like the one below, i also have a couple spare so will be adding one to her craft room for phone charging so she doesn't need to plug it into her pc any more.

Shaz requested another chicken sandwich and large fries this time :) she also wanted the manicure set and the bottle of the Sally Benson hard as nails as her nails needed doing again and also her 10" tablet as she was struggling navigating the web with her 7" .

Also in the text i got from her this morning she had managed to walk almost as far as yesterday again

So i grabbed the the stuff, some more cans of caffeine free coke and went to get the maccies so i could feed the bird (in joke) and set off and the forged iron rose.After feeding the bird i manicured her nails did not use the hard as nails stuff just in-case as they don't normally like you having anything on your nails as they can use them as an indicator as to how you are. She didn't need it anyway as her nails are pretty hard. Besides they buff up well once i polished the ridges out that had grew into them as a result of the treatment, that was some work took well over an hour to flatten them.

I then washed her hair and dried it with the hair dryer and re plaited it to stop the tangles and took her down for a mocha and cake as an anniversary treat :)

I so need to re dye her hair when she comes back out as she has lost a lot of the colour, still looks pretty good though and the health of it is improving after each intense conditioning it gets :)

Yup had a lovely day :)

Sunday 11th

Had a pretty restful day today, shaz went for a walk to the exit doors and back before i got there .I fitted another socket this one in her rook for charging mobiles & tablets etc without the need for trailing wires from the front of her pc. Got got us another Mcdonalds and she also managed another walk to the entrance this time rather than the exit which is further just like we did yesterday. She is starting to feel stronger and can see how much better she is doing, I am very pleased that she can see it too. We still don't have a time for the kidney drain n camera thing they need to do or if they are doing it tomorrow or Tuesday yet so i may well be getting a call early in the morning ......or not. Not impressed about that one bit as i could plan my sleep pattern around it but I cant now.

By the way, text colour and background changed by request to make the reading easier

By the way 2

I came up with the suggestion of pimping out Sharon's wooden walking stick at the crop as she is determined to make it. IT will be a nice take away for her, so pack your ink, stamps and pens, So spread the word please.

Monday 12th

Today started as it tends to these days with a text update of Sharon's morning, this morning being no different, today's indicated that she had been put on nil by mouth again that was at 8am, no time given yet but had the bloods done again , they cant get a time slot until the bloods were back.
A little while later she came back with a time of 10.30 the next day. And the urologist don't actually do the procedure it is the radiologists that do it. so at least we have a proper date and time at last.
Also asked for the same mc D as yesterday.

Shaz seemed OK when i got there but you could see she looked pretty broken inside (head wise) or at least I could see it. She had not been out for walk but did have something to eat lunch time (missed breakfast due to the nil by mouth).

You in nature programs and movie's know when you can see the signs of a tsunami because the tide goes out and the birds bugger off , well I could see the signs were there and she desperately trying to hold it together. It was just a matter of time and just as she was about to get up so we could go for a walk it hit, it was not a major one , no upturned cars or buildings knocked down, that one is still on the way and she is trying hard to hold it in check.

I get it I really do, If it wasn't for the urinary problem she would be home and she would have had no set backs, and her strength would be greater than it is now. These set back simply should not be there, there was no mention of no bladder control or not being able to feel it being full.
The what if they had operated 12 months ago instead of going through the chemo and radio, then chemo again when they had to do major surgery anyway, it may not have as big an op as it turned out to be now and she may not have been having the issues she now has.

But we play the hand we have been given and strive to control or change what is within our power to do so, In Sharon's case she can and will get stronger, her nerve damage will eventually repair itself (maybe not all of it) but enough.

Take the possitives for what they are, as lets face it things could have been a lot worse.

She could have had chronic pain.

She may not have been able to walk.

After almost 6 weeks of being in hospital , may not have lost any weight (yes I went there.)

They could have said there was nothing they could do.

We went down for a coffee before I came away, she was still a little quite but then i think in all fairness she is handling this better than i would have if truth be told.

A little later i check my phone and Shaz sent another text.

Hello Hublet, I've got my head sorted out better now, I'm just going to believe it will all get sorted out and work properly in the end. Might take a while, but it will all get fixed. Just had a drinking chocolate off the drinks trolley, then will go to sleep. I love you my Hublet, very much. You keep me sane when my head gets all screwed up .......I'll let you know when I'm back on the ward tomorrow.

I plan on trying to be there though.

Tuesday 13th

Well I didn't manage to get there this morning as i was at work until 4 am , I think i may have been kidding myself if truth be told.

But shaz told me that she would be fine as she had gotten her head round it yesterday.

I got my morning wake up text about 20 past 12 to say she was back on the ward now and that it actually took about 40 minutes not 10. Totally painless, never felt a thing.They got the stent down to the blockage so all should be well now. Got a tube coming out my back ( a drain) and has no problem peeing. Can come out tomorrow, see you later , Ill have a chicken legend today.

My first reply to that was in response to the no problem peeing bit, i asked if the catheter was out (got my hopes up) but no it was still in.

They told her she had to have 4 hours bed rest then an hour sat in the chair in case of bleeding. There was also ops done every 15 minutes for the first 4 hours then two last checks 30 minutes apart.

So with the order taken off i trot to retrieve lunch and go in for the visit.

Sure enough she had a wee bag with blood in it , a good sign in my opinion as it means that kidney has to be draining as it got punctured with a needle hence the blood.

She was in good spirits if a little sore from the needle/camera especially as although they gave her pain killers while they did the procedure she had missed her normal drugs round as she want on the ward. So a quick press of the buzzer and the nurse popped over with them.

She also had a really numb left buttock so i rubbed some gel into it. It wasn't long before she was pain free again :)

Once she was settle we went for another walk again.

By the way shaz started to read the blog a couple of days back, I think in part to help her appreciate how far she has come.
She has also opened all her cards over the weekend and yesterday so i will be making a list and thanking you all for both the get well cards, magazines, and anniversary cards when i can round them all up.
I may hold off on doing that though as i know once shaz is out she will want to thank you all herself on her blog.

I think that covered it all so i am back to work .

Wednesday 14

My wifelet is Home ...Nuf said ha ha

Joking aside, Had a text this morning that read ....

Hello Hublet, Don't bring a maccies in today -we will get a hot fresh one on the way home. Yes Birdie is finally coming home. All my discharge papers is being done right now, really felt like this day would never get here, so very happy right now Xxxxxx.

She was warned it was cold out side but i said she had the thick snugly dressing gown, but apparently that wont go with outdoor clothes so i had to remember her coat.

we played the waiting game for what seemed like hours as there was a little mixup with the medication due to how many times they was going to release her. at first she was reluctant to get changed as she so didn't want to jinx it and they end up keeping her in.

But we didnt care , shaz was coming home, you could tell there were good omens as there was a full rainbow out her window.

I had to do a couple of trips back to find a wheel chair ready for taking her to the car with, when i got down to the doors the rainbow was fully out .

Well we finally got out the hospital at around 7pm hit Mcdonalds for a celebratory quick dinner and got home for a little before 8 pm,

Well shaz managed to navigate the downstairs fairly well, need add a little step down into the dining room.

Out of sheer will power and a struggle she insisted on making her way al the way up to the bedroom.

Not entirely sure it was a good idea though as coming down will be a lot harder.

Going to need to install some more grab rails in places too. The ones installed down to the kitchen made a world of difference as she managed them with relative ease.

Shall be making some phone calls today to see what we can get help wise.

Friday 16th/Thursday 15th

Thursday

Still finds it a chore to do the stairs, but finds it easier on her bum

We pop up to see the GP and give him the release notes, he is organising the OT to come out and he also sorted an appointment to see the nurse today at 1pm.Booked a few carpet fitters to pop round to give us a quote for new stair carpet to make the assent and descent a softer experience.

Shaz was really struggling to get down the step to the dining room so I made a intermediate step to halve the height, now she manages it fine without help.

Went out for a meal last too, got quite numb as a result for the wait for the food though, even with the doughnut cushion .

Friday

Both carpet installers have come out today, one has given us the quote just need the second one to come in now and a date for them to do it.

Been to see the nurse this afternoon to get the dressings changed , she has organised the community nurse to come out hopefully Sunday or Monday and has also organised the supplies for dressings to be delivered to the chemist .

Noticed the heating wasn't coming on so had to get the gas board to pop out, luckily the one the did the service 2 weeks ago left me his card as he was trying to sell us the new Hive heating system, he said at the time as the wife is in hospital he will leave me his number and also knock £50 off of it so it would be £200 instead of £250.

So as i had his number i called him. explained that i would not have noticed it not working as i hadn't really spent any time here due to work/visiting or sleeping.He was near us ,came over and sorted it off the record. turns out the receiver was duff, funny how it worked before. So now he has offered the Hive for £ 150 as a break down so i have gone for that as it will benefit Shaz.Basically you can control the heating etc via a smart phone so if she is cold or hot she can turn it up or down from the comfort of the bed or recliner .

Going to do updates every couple of days going forward , that is unless of course there is anything major that needs sharing.

Not a bad weekend in all, shaz is now able to walk up and down the stairs as long as she does it very slowly, it is a struggle but is able to do it. She sleeps so soundly, Still has a dodgy foot/leg but have found a way of massaging it that seems to help, imagine you have cramp in your foot the two middle toes tend to lock/extend it is that that she seems to suffer with hence why it is so difficult and I think if she had the full sensation in her foot she would be in an awful lot of pain from it; so mixed blessings there.

She can tell she is getting stronger and is able to do a little more than a few days before, she cant see daily gains but in reflection to a few days prior she can see that she can achieve more.

Door bell just rang and a basket of flowers has just arrived ,at first we thought it was from work but it was from her mom Dot , they are beautiful.

She has actually used the hive heating controls on her phone already too so i am pleased about that , also had the last quote in so will give one of them the go ahead tomorrow to do the stair carpet :)

Wednesday 28th

Been a week since i updated this as I am really struggling to find the time to do the updates.

As she is now blogging herself and has more time she is able to report how she is doing on her own blog.

Shaz is getting stronger daily now, Sunday we went to Tesco as she wanted to see how she would get on with that. I had been keeping on top of what we need anyway so we wouldn't need to spend too long in there , so with the right hand on the trolley the walking stick she made it all the way round and only sat down while i went through the self checkout.

The new cushion I ordered for use in her craft room has arrived it will also come in handy this weekend when we drive down to Wiltshire Friday afternoon.

Shaz has now fully caught up on this blog (with the exception of this post of course) and now fully appreciates just how big an op she has had and the huge progress she has made thus far.

143 comments:

Doug, standing with you at this very difficult time for you both. Thank you so much for starting this blog so all your friends can keep up with the news. Sending you both so much love and support! I shall keep up to date with this online diary, you can be sure. Please give Shaz a hug from me and let her know how much I am thinking of her!

Hi Doug, praying for you and Shaz, am glad that Jan told me of this as had hunted for news to pray more wisely. Seems pain control is key as well as a properly working bodily system.... Give Shaz my love, she was one of my first bloggy encouragers way back in Nov. 2010. Have sent a card last Mon week, should be there soon from Downunder. Hugs Shaz in Oz.x

Oh Doug. How hard it is to watch the one you love in so much pain. I'm so glad you have started this blog - had been searching for news. Thank you so much - but don't wear yourself out...john ad I are praying for you both at this hard time. We will pray more knowledgeably now we have read this. Take care of yourself in all this toing and froing! May Father God give you rest, and wisdom as you spend time with Shaz.Give her a great big hug from us - if she can bear it.Love to you both.God bless.Margaret and John

Although it still sounds terrible, I'm glad that you can see the progress. Please tell Shaz that all the WOYWWers are thinking of her and sending their love. I think there'll be a deluge of cards at your place soon :-)And I'm glad you've got an appetite...gotta keep your strength up!!

Doug, I am so glad to hear there is some progress, and at least some pain-free times. It's a tough ride, but she's in the best hands. More hugs to pass on please!! Thinking of her lots. I am also glad to hear that you are looking after yourself and eating properly - most important for you to keep your strength up.

I meant to say i have a stack of cards on the table ready to take in one i know is from down under, cant really take the min until she is on the ward though :)Thanks again for all your kind words of support they really do mean a lot XxX

Ah good to know it and others hav made it, Doug, thank you... And yes she wouldn't be able to cope at the moment all that she's been though., take care and prayers for all things esp for caring nurses. And effective control of pain infections etc. Shaz in Ozx.

Just a big virtual hug to you both from the Shropshire WOYWers Jo (Twiglet) and Annie (Wipso). We have both been sending our positive vibes and prayers, Doug. Thanks for letting us read your blog and updating us all. Hoping every day is better than the one before and that Shaz will soon be more comfy and on the mend. Lots of love. x Jo

Doug - you are doing great. Glad your appetite is so good!! As a full time carer, I know how important it is for you to get rest and food... It's good to hear that Shaz is a little better, and that the source of infection has been found. Trusting the antibiotics are doing great things. Give Shaz a huge hug - when she is up to it - and a simply enormous hug to yourself.Love and prayers. Take care as you are continually travelling.Margaret and John

Doug good on you for writing this - I am sure it helps you as much as it allows us to share a little of what Shaz is going through. Sending her all my love (and you too) and hope that she continues to improve. Glad that you still have a sense of humour too, as awful as everything has been, not to mention your appetite! Take care. xx

Must confess it brought a tear or two to my eyes to read through all the pain she has been suffering, and the anguish you must have been going through seeing her like that. Feel guilty as I am in sunny Spain on holiday and Shaz is so poorly.Just give her all my love, we will save the hugs for later when she is able to withstand them. Ignore the big white envy which is from me until she is feeling a ton better than now, I did not expect this level of suffering for her, poor lamb.I am on Facebook as Anita Hickson so if you friend me I can keep up to date. Thanks for getting in touch via my blog and tell Shaz thanks.Just hope things improve quickly for her and then they will for,you too. What a great guy you are,Hugs, Neet xx (1each)

It continues to sound pretty awful, Doug, but I can see glimpses of light in the darkness and can see that generally, progress is being made. Amazing they've had her out of bed and standing up, however briefly! The fact that Mr. Radley is expressing himself as satisfied is very good. I feel for her, being feversh, hot and uncomfortable. I am sure you do realise, but her irritation is not personal or directed at you in a horrible way! I remember apologising to my hubby in advance for anything nasty that I might say or do to him lol!! You are doing SUCH a good job and we both send you lots of encouragement, and lots of love and hugs to you both. This blog is a great idea, and when Shaz is feeling better, she's going to love reading all the lovely comments from her friends, cheering her on from the wings!!

Sorry Doug, I thought you had asked on my blog if I was on FB, not hard for me to get it wrong.Just read through it all again and the tears certainly came. What a terrible time for the both of you. Thanks for doing this, even though I have not met either of you I feel I know Shaz I particular. Such is the power of WOYWW.Sending lots of love and prayers.Hugs, Neet xxxxx

This is amazing progress, Doug! I can't believe how much she's been doing, and asking for her technology too... I have shed quite a few tears over the past few days but so relieved she is making real progress now. Once she is able to move around a bit more this is going to aid her recovery a great deal. I can understand how fractious she must feel with all the discomfort - after a while you get totally fed up with it and just want to feel well again - this is what I've been feeling the last few days and I've been more than a bit short with my poor hubby, so I do know how you feel lol!!

Keep on keeping on going! You are both doing soooo well! Loads of love to you both.

Reading this has cheered me a lot, I'm so pleased that Shaz is getting better day by day. I'm sure once she is more mobile that things will start to improve massively.Thank you for updating us daily like this Doug....it means a lot. I hope it's not too much of a bother for you, as you've got enough on your plate! Xx

It's not a problem and does not take that long to update as I take notes during the day while Shaz is sleeping, when I leave the room as Shaz is being turned over or even when I take a break for lunch or a drink .

Doing a really great job there Doug, do take care of yourself too. and so good there is light bit brighter in that tunnel or you both. Thanks so much for being willing to share this with us.. praying on from Downunder, must admit often praying in night as it comes to mind.. which would be your day. Glad too the Doctors are so communicative and available ..Shaz in Oz.x

It's so good to read the progress each day Doug. Thank you so much for allowing us to keep up with the news. Shaz is in the thoughts of so many of her blogging friends and I really hope the positive vibes and prayers of so many is helping you both to cope. Keep up the good work and take great care of yourself too Doug.Hugs,Annie x

She IS making progress, Doug - hang in there the 2 of you! I am so sorry there's an issue with this nurse. I thought that in the ICU there was supposed to be 1-1 care around the clock. It is not right that she is left in the same position for hours at a time, getting more stiff and uncomfortable. Getting irritated is so natural but it won't be helping her recovery much, I wouldn't have thought. I do hope she gets better care over the next few days. I am glad that the pain relief has been reduced - I was amazed when I was down to just paracetamol, how effective it was! I was quite scared coming off the morphine but the secret is to keep the pain below a certain level as it's much easier to maintain it there than to try and reduce it if it skyrockets again.

I am very glad to hear that you are eating well and looking after yourself! Nothing like puddings and other comfort food lol! Keep up the good work!

Shaz's irritation is a good sign in some ways as it shows just how much of a fight she has in her, which is all to the good. It is not good that she is being left without turning but, hopefully, as she is allowed up more and more, this problem will cure itself. You are doing so well yourself, and I am glad you are taking the time to eat as healthily as possible. Take care and stay strong. xxx Maggie

am delighted to hear of the progress Shaz is making, and your endless patience with her (I would be a really awful nurse, I readily admit!) although you probably think it's taking forever! The fact that she's asking for ipads and the like is a good thing. I hope she knows how much we are all thinking of her and wishing her well. xx

Just popped back to leave my little rainbow for you both. You are a treasure and will be giving Shaz so much strength just by the love and support you are giving her. Sending a big virtual hug. x Jo - Twiglet.

I am going back to work tomorrow night so may find it hard to update this daily but updates you shall have as once shaz is upstairs she will have access to the net so can take over on her own blog anyway :) I doubt very much if i will have time to update as often between working sleeping and visiting . I will still have my dinner at the hospital as it is easier and saves the time to cook anything. I will of course pass on the best wishes XxX

Doug, you are a star. You have coped with so much - and done marvellously. You have been gracious enough to keep us all up to date - when you must have so much to do with updating your family. You've done good, lad. Well done. There is increasing light at the end of the tunnel - Shaz's mutterings suggest a real improvement in her!!Glad you are able to get good food at the hospital - one job less when going home each day. There's nothing like a comfort pud!! Take care of yourself when back at work. Give our love and prayers to Shaz - you are both remembered each day.Much love - and huge hugs to you both.Margaret and John

Thanks for the updates. What a treasure you are, cannot see my other half doing a fraction of what you are doing, seriously. Good idea to eat full and proper meals at the hospital. A teacher friend of mine, single male, used to eat at his local hospital all the time as it was across the road from where he lived, and he swore by the food he got. Will help you keep your strength up.Good to hear there is some improvement, albeit small, with Shaz. I do hope she gets treated better if she is moved but I thought she would have had the best care where she is. Ah well, who are we to know these days.Sending lots of love to you both, you take care too Doug as we can't have you working yourself into the ground when you are back at work.HugsNeet xxx

I am so glad that there is now talk of moving her to the ward, Doug, even if no definite day for the move yet. That is good progress. Also getting her internal clock reacclimatised is good. I had to smile at what you wrote about her bed deflating - exactly the same thing happened to me in hospital and the lady opposite me was in stitches because I was disappearing and she said it was like the Gary Linneker ad lol!! All that was between me and the bed base was 2 delfated layers of plastic and boy was it HARD!!! We had a good laugh over that.

Shaz will feel so much better once her hair is washed. Well done keeping it brushed and plaited. You are an excellent nurse! You have done so well on every front, not least looking after yourself so well - good idea to use the hospital canteen for meals.

Things must be improving if you are going back to work tomorrow. Shall quite understand if you are not able to do so many updates - I don't know how you've managed to do all you have, because you must have spent a lot of time on the phone/emails/texts etc. to family and friends too. Hope you get the chance to rest a bit too! I know my hubby was rushed off his feet with it all when I was in.

That's brilliant news, Doug, that she will soon be on the ward! So glad that Sid has woken up at last. Kermit (my stoma) says he's been hibernating for long enough lol! She'll feel a lot better once the NG tube is gone - one by one all the tubes and lines etc. come out and you feel more human.

Hope you get on OK at work tonight, and aren't too exhausted after the past days. Still, the news of real progress is a tonic, isn't it.

Bec updated me earlier today with the good news. Shaz is doing so well which is really cheering to hear. You have really been a rock for her and should be so proud of what you have done. Take care if you are going back to work and don't overdo things. xxx Maggie

Brilliant news, Doug. So glad Sid has woken up to his task!!! Good news that the tubed are all on their way out, too. Shaz will feel so much more like herself when that happens. Trust all goes well as you return to work and add yet another thing to the equation called life... Do continue to take care of yourself as life gets so much busier for you.Loads of love to the pair of you. Continuing to pray for you both each day. May Father God grant you His peaceHugs.Margaret and John

Wonderful relief indeed, good old Sid!! :) happy for Shaz re tubes as well, pluses all around.I pray the move over to new ward goes well, and take care of yourself Doug, and rest up too. Thanks for great write ups, though they're really for Shaz it's so good to know how to pray too, Shaz in Oz.x

Doug, I am DELIGHTED to hear that Shaz has been moved to the ward! That is such good news! She will be feeling better with eah day that passes now. Great progress to have got rid of the horrible NG tube too - I remember how great it felt when they took that out. I am not surprised you look like a Cheshire cat! Great that she's starting to eat - the low fibre diet is so familiar to me, and I got through a lot of jelly and ice cream in those early days, and soft pasta and so on! She will be back to normal before you know it. Very, very happy indeed to hear this brilliant news. Please pass on big hugs as always, and have one yourself while we're at it.

Have just read your Wednesday update and I'm grinning from ear to ear. It's so lovely to share your joy at the daily improvement. Thank you so much for sharing it all with us. Biggest hugs for you both.Annie x

Hi Doug, read your blog, I am so happy Shaz is making good progress and you are being amazing. Aunty Sue has kept us updated but was nice to read your blog albeit upsetting but we all send lots of love and hugs. See you soon, love Vicky (cousin) xxx

Much better news now. So glad you have a grin on your face - must be such a relief to see such a change in her. We are equally proud of her. Last week it was so hard to read how she was suffering and being sat up in bed never mind walking seemed a long way off. Chuffed to little mint balls as they say around here. (Well, not around here as I am on holiday in scorching Spain) but they say it up north of England where I will be come Saturday, freezing cold I believe.Hugs and Loadsa love to Shaz xxx Neet xxx

O wow, wow, wow Doug that's totally brilliant!! Give her a big hug from me and congratulations! That is real progress. She will feel so much better being more independent and being able to get to the loo on her own. Soon they'll be helping her in the shower and she'll feel a new woman! I am so thrilled to hear this news.

I actually forgotten to post the extra special news, as the lines on the hands and arms had come out her swelling on her ring finger was reduced enough to pop the ring back on. Personally i think she is pushing to get out in time for our wedding anniversary next month and also the crop a couple of weeks after that.

By the way shaz has the link for this blog but she said she wants to read it when she gets home as she knows it will upset her. She genuinely does not remember most of her stay down stairs in critical care ; but to be honest that does not surprise me. If i had to recount it now the thing that i keep remembering is the pain she was in, that will stay with me forever i think.Must learn to box that away some how.

Shaz, when you do get to read this, are you heading for the London Marathon next year? Your progress this week has been akin to training for it. Well done and just hang in there. Major strides every day.. xxx Maggie

Ah, If I had a magic wand kind of a way to tell you how to let the thoughts of her pain you are witnessing go I would bop you upside the head with it so hard. and I am so glad things are progressing so well it sounds like, thanks so much for keeping us updated :) ((( HUGS ))) ~Stacy

That is fantastic news, Doug. You must be so chuffed about all the achievements. Well done Shaz. You are really going well. Oh the sheer bliss of being able to wash your own face!! You are taking huge strides forward - literally. Well done.Take care the pair of you. We are praying for you - that you will know the peace and presence of our Heavenly Father God.Much love and huge hugs to you both.Margaret and John

Every day I continue to be delighted as I read out your wonderful posts to my hubby, Doug! Today's was such great news, and real progress again. I cannot believe how well Shaz is doing, and how fast she is progressing. With each increase in movement, removal of lines, additional days of eating proper food, she is going to progress more and more! She must feel so great having had a shower and a hair wash.

Your memory of her awful pain will fade with time - just as she will cease to remember how bad it was, believe me. As you enjoy her recovery, the painful memories will fade. You just enjoy each other, and wherever she is for your wedding anniversary next month, that will be a very special celebration!

Today is a special day for my hubby and me too, because it is the 31st anniversary of the day we met!

Yep - I'm with Shoshi, Doug! A shower and a hairwash is such a great move forward. Shaz is doing so very well - her progress is lovely to note. You really are a star, doing this website as well as everything else. It has been really special to keep up with the progress; and to hear your pain is a very special privilege. The memory of all the awful pain will dim as time goes by - we are praying for you, that it will loosen its tight hold, bringing you a measure of peace as you go through all this.You are doing really well, we applaud you. Well done.Take care, the pair of you.Love, hugs, and God's blessings.Margaret and JohnPS. LOVE the new snazzy background!

Friday.....I've been patiently waiting for today's update Doug [refreshing every few minutes] and wow was it worth the wait. I have welled up reading all the news. I've never met your wonderful wife or yourself Doug but what strength of character and determination she must have....and what an amazing team you make. Please send her lots of love and hugs and tell her to keep up the good work....but not to do too much too soon.Annie xxxx

Oooh Doug it does get even more betterer and betterer doesn't it!! How's that for grammar! No wonder you are so proud of her! She is a real trooper - and so are you!l She is doing so amazingly and incredibly well. Please give her a hug hug from me. Thinking of you both so much!

Hi Doug just finished reading your last blog and that's great. News ,Rob said he'll be there tomorrow to do your fence and I will be there in the afternoon about half one ish , hope that's ok love you loads told you shaz is a stroge lady didn't l ,send her my love and l hope to see her soon 💞 xxx

Read this out to John last evening, and we proper welled up on your behalf. Progress, progress, progress - at a rapid rate of knots. That's just brilliant news, both of you. we continue to pray for you, and are thrilled with how well Shaz is doing. One fine day it would be so good to meet you both and give you a real hug instead of a virtual one - but in the meantime, we continue to send those!!!Much love to you both.God bless you.Margaret and John

A beautiful post. So glad you got some fresh air, Shaz - and dinner out!! Wonderful. Yes, better, worse, sickness, health - you are doing a great job with those, Doug. Much love and loads of hugs to the pair of you.God bless.Margaret and John

Fab news Doug! So happy to hear that Shaz is Improving so quickly, it was fab to have a chat with her the other day! And I reckon that she should try and keep stretching herself, she'll find out quick enough if she's done too much. Gordon did and he got better quicker :-)Love ya both xxxxx

Is this awesome of what, Doug. She is looking absolutely amazing! It's incredible how well she is doing, and how quickly she is recovering. Please give her tons of love and a big hug - and the same goes for you too! Keep up the good work. I am convinced that one reason she is doing so well is the great support and encouragement she has in her wonderful hubby - just as I did (and continue to do) with mine.

Wow! You're doing great Shaz! Wonderful to see you looking so well! Thank you Doug for looking after her so well and for keeping us updated. You are an ace man!Big hug Shaz (well, a careful, virtual one as not to bruise you any further. lol)xxx

Oh wow Doug, coming home already! She has done soooo well. You will cope fine, I just know you will. It just takes a little advance planning which you seem to be doing. I wish I could lend you my stairlift!! I agree, resting on the recliner during the day is OK, but not for sleeping at night. I am sure that work will be understanding about your needs at the moment.

I can't believe how well she has done. After saying she might not be home till the end of November, this is truly amazing.

Please give her a big hug and congratulations! Take care of yourselves both of you.

ahh, Doug, just able to comment again at last .. for some reason cant do it on tablet and have to use desktop.Sorry about the bladder infection, but maybe for very good reasons.. to let Shaz recover better is very big op.. and also help you in the coping at home side of things.. daily pray for your both in this walk.. joyful bits as well as hard.

I must admit am impressed terribly by the both of .. ginormous gold stars for both of you, you are real troopers!Well till can comment again silence does not mean you are forgotten. Shaz in oz.x

Hello both. I understand your frustrations and your anxieties, Doug. Shaz is doing so very well, and yes, I've been there with John - all set to come home, then can't pee! It will happen. The photos are lovely - you look so well, Shaz. After all that major op and recovery time it's great to see you looking so good. Trust you get some lovely news soon about coming home, but take care and don't overdo it, the pair of you.What a huge amount of driving, Doug - even that can be tiring for you. It sounds like your workplace have been real stars with your time off, your short shifts etc.We continue to pray for you both. For safety, for healing of the wounds, for energy.God bless.Margaret and John

Oh Doug, I can feel your frustration and anguish over this, and Shaz's too. These things are sent to try us... It is very common to get urinary tract infections after surgery - I had one after mine, but it's a pretty simple matter to treat with antibiotics. It may delay her discharge from hospital by a few days, but that will probably be to the good because it's still very early days, and she might do better all round not to come home quite so quickly.

I really don't know how you manage, with all you are doing - you are amazing! Working all night, sorting things on the domestic front, visiting Shaz, all that driving... you must be totally exhausted! I do hope you are able to get the chance of a good rest soon. I know my hubby got very tired when I was in hospital, but that was only just down the road and he didn't have all that driving to do.

You take care of yourself, and big hugs to you both! You are both incredible, and doing so well.

Great to be able to comment again, I couldn't for a few days... Shaz's recovery is incredible, I hope the urinary infection clears soon, and you both take it easy; I know you both want her home but you have to be able to look after her so please don't force it.. it sounds like you're exhausted too with all the driving and work too!! Sending Shaz a big hug. xx

So sorry to hear about the setbacks, Doug, but she really is in the best place for the moment. Much better to get these problems sorted before she comes home and you can both enjoy a worry-free recovery. It is brilliant that you know exactly what she needs in order to cheer her up (the walk looked great!) and what foods to tempt her with. Her appetite will return in due course, and giving her the foods she enjoys, her stomach willl start to stretch again and her capacity for good food will increase. Sending you both loads of hugs and encouragement, and all the best!

Poor Shaz, and you, so frustrating when things do go to plan, but at least the infection occurred where it could be dealt with promptly. Shame that nurse was not as prompt dealing with her bed.Will continue to pray for you bothChris

Hi both. How lovely you were so able to help when Shaz needed your support so much, Doug. Well done. This caring does take it out of the carer, doesn't it?! I trust you are able to get plenty of rest as you need it too. Great photos of your time in B'ham - golly - many years since I stood in those places!!!Every blessing to you both. Praying the timing to come home will be exactly right for you both.Take care. Much love and many hugsMargaret (and an absent John who is currently in Ysbyty Glan Clwyd)

Hi Doug, so sorry to hear about the infection and the weight loss. Have you tried her with some of those build-up drinks? Mum had those when she was ill and unable to eat anything - Complan, Build Up Soups etc. You could also ask the hospital if they'd provide her with some of the energy drinks they give you before surgery. They were on tap on the ward when I was in and they were always encouraging us to drink them. It's a relatively painless way to get some nourishment into her. Once she's getting that, it may increase her appetite for normal food again.

At least she is in the right place for now. Far better not to rush into coming home too soon, until these problems are fixed in a place where they can deal with them promptly and professionally.

Big, big hugs to you both - keep your chins up and keep smiling! It will soon be over! Thinking of you loads.

Oh Doug .. feel for you and Shaz. Have seen this dreadful weight loss with our very dear elderly dad who was very, very ill, (we thought we were losing him with heart issues) he is better now weight wise, and has gradually improved.. With all Shaz has had to bear it is well and truly two steps forward one step back. sending bloggy hugs and many prayers for better help each day, improved healing and restored appetite. You are really doing a great job.. albeit a very hard one, Doug. love and prayers, Shaz in Oz.x

So glad to hear of today's improvement, Doug. As Shaz in Oz says, it really is a case of two steps forward and one step back, but you are getting there! All your ministrations are certainly doing the trick and you are tempting her with the foods she loves. Keep up the good work and don't forget to keep on looking after yourself!!

What can I say, that Shaz in Oz and Shoshi haven't? Indeed - two forward and seemingly one back. I know indeed that 24hrs can make an enormous difference. I have seen that when John has been really ill. I would go home in floods of tears thinking he would never be coming out of the place, and the next day the staff are telling me to prepare for him to come home!!!So glad you managed a walk out today - it was such a glorious day. The makers of pavements and roads don't think about the likes of you and me who have to push the wheelchairs, though, do they??!! I took John out today, too, and found various places where there was no dip in the path to wheel off the edge. Had to stop, get John out, move him then the chair, then get him in again before carrying on further! It was like a cartoon!!! You are doing an amazing job, you know. Brilliant stuff. Well done. Just take care of yourself as well, especially as you need to work nights...Much love to the pair of you. Giant hugs and continued prayer, from us both.God bless.Margaret (and the still absent John)

Doug, your pics of the eclipse are outstanding! Quite brilliant. My hubby went out to have a look but said it was a bit disappointing but astronomy leaves him rather cold, I'm afraid. I was asleep and didn't get up.

Great shots of the lunar eclipse, Doug. I happened to be awake, so took my camera - but it gave me a look of complete horror and refused to take anything!!! Yours are really good. Well done.Love n hugsMargaret and John

Oh Doug - two steps forward, then one back - again. I am so sorry for you both. Another infection. I do trust this will be sorted really quickly - at least the sister was on top of it as soon as she spotted it. We will be praying for you, that the infection will be quickly identified and that the right antibiotic will be speedily administered. John is currently on IV antibiotics - so I understand your heartache for Shaz. Please give her our love.Take care as you travel back and forth. God bless you and keep you both.Margaret (and John, in his absence!!)

Oh dear, Doug, up and down, up and down... It's par for the course, though. My advice, for what it's worth, is to try to stop thinking too much about when she will be coming home, and just to concentrate on each day, one day at a time, and go on caring for her as you have been doing, helping her to eat and go out as much as she is able, and just enjoy the time you have together when you manage to get in. She is in the right place, and these problems MUST be sorted before they can even consider letting her home. I know it's hard, but considering how long they were contemplating keeping her in initially, even to be thinking about her being discharged at this early stage is nothing short of miraculous. Give it time, both of you, and just concentrate on helping her get well in the best place she could be!

Thinking of you both such a lot. It's a long hard slog, I know, but she is doing so, so well, and a great deal of that is down to you, Doug. You are being an absolute trooper, and again I say it, you and my dear hubby are cast in the same mould and you two have no idea how much just being who you are helps us so much!

That's good news that they consider her well enough to come home so soon, Doug, now they've got the staples out and she's getting used to using the catheter. I just hope it isn't too soon and that you won't experience problems at home. I am glad your employer is so good about you having time off to take care of her. Keep up the good work! What a trooper you are!

It IS frustrating, Doug, but hang in there. It's far better she stays put until these problems are well under control. If she comes home too soon, it will be much harder to deal with. Believe me, she is in the right place. I know it's hard for you both to be patient, but as I said before, originally you thought she was going to be in very much longer than this. I am thinking of you both so much and praying for strength to endure the road ahead! Enjoy the times you spend together and please try not to fret!!!

Oh Doug. How hard it is - all these thoughts of coming home, then to find them dashed at the last minute - sometimes it is easier not to even have that "early release" thought put into our heads, isn't it? - and yet - we need to have things to look forward to.... What a dilemma. Do take care. Give Shaz our love and lots of virtual hugs from us. Have a hug from us to yourself as well. You are doing so very well - you have been so very strong there for Shaz. I do trust you have someone there just for you!!God bless you both. We are praying for you. We will continue to pray for a cessation of infections, and for the return of proper control and sensations of the bladder.Much love.Margaret (and the still absent John)

I am so glad that you are able to give her nice things to eat to keep her spirits up, Doug, and that you managed to get her in the shower again. Being clean and having nice clean hair certainly makes a girl feel better! It's a hard and frustrating slog for you both but it WILL come to an end eventually - keep on keeping on!! I love the photo. She is looking really good. Having a new Snoopy is great! My hubby gave me a new bear while I was in hospital, and it really cheered me up!

It does sound as if progress is being made, Doug. Before you rush into making alterations at home, the OT should come out to assess her, and before that, see her in the hospital, to make sure everything is OK for her to come home to. You should not have to pay for any alterations that need doing for her welbeing and safety post-operatively. Have a word with the staff on the ward. I had the physio and the OT, but not a lot needed doing at home because I already had it, but it's all part of the service! They will also know from a professional point of view exactly what is required - what will actually help her and what won't.

The walking will take time to build up - a combination of the epidural, the surgery, a lot of bed rest taking its toll. Doing a few more paces each day will help - slowly and surely, without overdoing things! It's all about getting the balance right, isn't it.

You are both doing splendidly. Keep up the good work! She'll be home before you know it.

Hello Doug and Shaz. This all sounds very positive.I hope Shaz has enjoyed today's offering!! I have to say I agree with Shoshi - make sure the physio and OT are involved before you make changes, Doug. Amazing what is available out there for these situations. We have recently been blessed out of our socks by having a stairlift and a wetroom fitted by our council at no charge to ourselves. It was a sort of means tested grant, but those two adaptations have made a huge difference to John's ability to cope in our own home.It is brilliant you are able to really understand all that is going on - where there is sensation, where things are difficult, where the struggles may occur at home. Find out about help available. It will all help you to be less pushed for time etc. You are already doing so much - you must be absolutely exhausted. Do take care of yourself.Much love to the pair of you.God bless.Margaret and John - yes, he is still in Glan Clwyd Hospital!!

Hi Doug back on computer rather than mobile device so able to comment again..Things are often two steps forward one step back in recovery .. glad to read of much needed plans afoot for dear Shaz return to home (yes agree it is quite steep staircase indeed) and for you both to manage at home .. five weeks seems a long time indeed but much longer for both of you.Pray that the things suggested above in Margaret's comment maybe able to be done soon and expeditiously .. and all other assistance available will be there for you. We have it here downunder when first returning home from hospital too.So may card is in there with Shaz.. thanks for letting me know, pray for you with your work and all other matters associated there too.Sending much love from downunder , though no able to comment much you are remembered in prayer each evening here .. your day.

I will be away from computer for a fortnight (not sure can fool mobile device into thinking it is desktop can sometimes :D) so trust in that in that time things are settled and organised at home, oh and glad to hear of the peripheral nerve damage repair too.love and thoughts, Shaz in Oz.x

Most impressed, Doug, with your handy work. Those steps are steep - but you've done a great job there. I agree - the hardware ain't cheap! Sorry to hear about Shaz's fall - trust her pride will soon be fully recovered :-) It really sounds like she is eating well. Glad there are the appropriate places to hand! How frustrating it is to learn to deal with the incapacity to do things we have always done. Trusting it will be a short lived incapacity, and that the sensation would indeed recover well.Continuing to pray for you both. Be encouraged, Doug - you are doing a fantastic job of encouragement and building up Shaz. Well done you.Take care. God bless.Margaret

Well Doug, things look hopeful for her coming home soon. A lot of peripheral nerve damage can recover, so let's hope that in time she gets full sensation back. It can take many months for the nerves to grow back, so hang in there and be patient!! You have done a great job with the handrails on the stairs - they look very smart. Steep stairs, but if she takes it slowly and hangs on, she will be fine. I hope they provide everything you need - down here it's brilliant and they are very much on the ball with things like that.

I'm sorry to hear about Shaz's fall. It's easy to forget how vulnerable one is when one is used to being so active. It's horrible being made to feel like an old woman and not able to do things, but as long as she is patient with herself and gives it time, she will recover just fine. It's amazing just how quickly the body does recover!

Time does funny things. On the one hand, is is really less than 5 weeks - it seems a LOT longer, and on the other hand, time flies by, and you were all anticipating her being in a lot longer than this! I can imagine she's feeling pretty stir crazy now, and desperate to get home and be in her own familiar setting with all her stuff around her.

Thank you for giving her my card. She will enjoy opening all the rest when she gets home! Tell her there's no need to rush into contacting everybody as she will be very tired and will need to rest a lot and not put pressure on herself.

I really don't know how you've done all you've done. Working all night, and then visiting Shaz during the day, and all the other things you've been seeing to... When have you slept??!! You must be completely exhausted! I hope you are able to have a bit of a rest once she comes home. It will certainly help, not having all that driving to do!

Hang in there Doug, she will be home soon, but I am a bit concerned that she will have to climb any stairs for a few days, can you not put a bed downstairs for a week or so? I think you should be asking for OT to visit as soon as possible if there are alterations to be made as they won't happen quickly and Shaz may not be allowed to come home until they are done. Don't want to disappoint her again.Bless you bothChris

I agree with Chris, Doug, about the OT and about having a bed downstairs for a while. Also, while there is any doubt about ongoing infections etc. etc. she is much better off where she is. I'm sorry to sound like a doom merchant, but it would be much better not to hassle too much about her coming home until she really is ready because if there is anything still going on, it's going to be a lot more difficult to deal with from home, and the last thing you would want is for her to have to go back in again - if it was me, that would be harder to deal with than not coming home at all until things were much improved. She's obviously still not right, and all along I've had concerns about her coming home while she's still got the catheter... Coming home can become like the holy grail and can overshadow all other considerations. The time will pass quickly enough, and if she comes back home later rather than sooner, but with increased peace of mind, surely that is worth a great deal?

I certainly don't want to put any dampeners on either of your enthusiasm but am just concerned that the right thing is done for Shaz. Hope you understand where I'm coming from. I wish you both well - very much so indeedy! - and think about you every day.

Oh Doug... I do so understand your frustrations but I truly believe that all this hassling about coming home is not aiding her recovery and could in fact be delaying it. Rest and peace and quiet, going with the flow and enjoying each moment you are together is the way forward. I have been learning the mnanagement of stress and fatigue for eight years now and know from experience that frustration and non-acceptance of the unpleasant truth that one is not well, are completely counter-productive and actually make one worse. I only started to make progress and stop declining when I reached a place of acceptance. At least Shaz' condition is not chronic and she WILL eventually recover - living with chronic illness takes acceptance to a whole new level, believe me, but the principle is the same! I only speak from my own experience and know that this is the only way forward for you both.

Wherever you celebrate your wedding anniversary, it doesn't matter - what matters is the anniversary itself, and your togetherness all these years - once she is home and well on the way to full recovery, you will, as you say, have lots of special times and the actual celebration can wait. Plenty of time for spoilies to look forward to! We've got a few lined up for when I'm over my last chemo, and I can wait till I'm better enough to enjoy them!!

A week or two here or there in the grand scheme of things is no time at all. Just give it time and patience, and all these problems will resolve themselves, and you'll look back in amazement in a few months' time.

Bless you both, and I am continuing to pray for you and think of you constantly! You are both never far from my thoughts during this difficult time.

Just been playing catch up as I have been away. So sorry to hear that things keep happening to stop Shaz from going home but hopefully the time to leave hospital is close. It must be taking its toll on you as well Doug, so obvious just how much you two love one another.Yes, a wet room would be ideal but I bet it is costly and they do make shower units now that only have a small step over to get in so maybe that would be a better solution.Not sure she will be up to dragging her weight (even though she has lost some) upstairs via the rail at the moment. I have to do that normally with stairs and I know it is a strain to do it so I really think a bed downstairs would be better as someone has suggested. Thankfully I live in a bungalow so it doesn't have to happen often.If you have time check with the local council/library just what is available to help you - there could be something but again there could not, each council is different.Not trying to throw spanners in the works and of course it is entirely up to you two how you decide to do things but I just thought I would reinforce what others have said.Sending lots of love to Shaz and a quick hug for you.ps why not be like the Queen who has two birthday and you two have two anniversaries - if she isn't home in time for the real one have an official one when she is home.Neet xxxx

Oh, Doug. I haven't had the computer on for a couple of days - so hadn't quite been up to date. You must be exhausted, and so discouraged. All this raising of hopes and expectancy, then dashing them again. Not nice at all. Take care of yourself!!! I wish you both well. I do know about extra antibiotics etc... John had been told this latest lot will be for two weeks - and now they are talking about longer - so he won't be coming home any time soon, either.You sound so very heartbroken in this last couple of posts - you are being so honest - I honour you for that - well done young man! I wish you a very special day on Saturday - with good weather for a walk out, and a special time between the two of you for your anniversary. How many this time??Please give our very best wishes to Shaz as she is there in the hospital - and yes, keep encouraging her to walk as she is able - her stamina will soon build with lots of small walks - and she will find she is able to do a little more each time. She will surprise and amaze herself - and you!!! I like Neet's idea of the royal anniversary!!I admit I'm with Shoshi - get an OT out to the house - she will know more about what is essential for now - and what will be necessary long term. The two will probably be entirely different! I remember a hospital consultant years ago saying to us it would be best if John were to be driving an automatic car not a manual one. So, we swapped cars at, as you can imagine, considerable expense, and got an automatic. Next time we saw the guy he asked how the driving was doing... It turned out he meant that if John were to drive AT THAT TIME - for only a couple of months - then the automatic would mean less pressure on the hip operation. It wouldn't need to be a long term solution. Hmmm!!! We needn't have swapped vehicles, I could have been the sole driver for those two months with no trouble at all. So check all this out before you go to expense bless you.Sounds like we are all trying to teach you to suck eggs, doesn't it? Sorry - face to face conversations are so much better, aren't they??! We don't mean to sound bossy - just doing our best to give you some support in this long haul.You really are doing amazingly. You are great - and a real rock and support at this time for Shaz - I do so hope the rock has somewhere to lean as well!Take good care of yourselves. Our love goes out to you both. Many hugs.God bless you.Margaret and John - who may well be hooked up to an intraveinous drip as we speak!

This is very good news, Doug. she is doing tremendously well with the walking. They are right about getting her out of bed - sitting up, and moving around as much as possible will minimise the risk of DVTs (deep vein thromboses) in her legs, and the walking is the best possible gentle exercise to aid the healing of the operation wounds and also to keep her bowels moving. They were a bit concerned about this in my case because of my reduced mobility, but I was able to do a surprising amount with the use of a frame. Just sitting up improves one's circulation no end, too. All good things! And as you and Margaret have said, the more she does, the more she will be able to do, and the better she will feel. It is very encouraging to hear of her progress in this direction.

I hope the scan results come back satisfactory, and that they will know a bit better how to resolve the kidney problem. This definitely needs sorting before she comes home! It does sound as if things are moving generally in that direction, though, doesn't it.

I shall be thinking of you on Saturday - wishing you a very happy anniversary indeed! It will be special, wherever you are.

Bless you both, and don't forget to keep taking care of yourself, Doug! You and my hubby are both absolute stars but there's a danger in wearing yourselves out too much on our behalf sometimes!! It's good to hear that you are enjoying nice sustaining meals though - you made my mouth water with your description of that sandwich!

Oh Doug. I have just read your short update - one thing after another. My heart goes out to you. I am SO glad the urologist had a different scan done - take care as you endeavour to do so much. Will be thinking of you and praying for you both, as you, quite literally, hold Shaz's hand to bring a measure of calm to her at this point. I do trust the procedure will go well, and that you will be able to enjoy time together for your anniversary!!!Take care, you dear man. You are doing well. What a tremendous blessing you have this blog in which to rant, so you can then go into Shaz knowing you are able to be there for her.God bless you with His peace as you sit with her and wait for her.Margaret

Oh no, Doug.... I am so, so sorry to read this! I can well understand how upset and frightened Shaz must be - I do hope the procedure is not half as awful as anticipated. If they are doing it under local, this is obviously something they know about and that it can be done in this way. They will probably give her some sedation to help her to be calm, and having you there holding her hand will help no end. You poor dears, it does seem to be one thing after another doesn't it. Well, hopefully this procedure will save the kidney, and losing it has to be a worst case scenario? She has been through a great deal and was obviously running low on all systems and therefore vulnerable to picking up infections since the operation.

Wishing you both all the very best in the coming days, and the opportunity to celebrate your anniversary tomorrow even if that celebration just takes the form of being together and appreciating each other.

Doug, I join you in being appalled at what has happened. If there was a problem, the least they could have done was to inform you as soon as possible, to put you out of your misery, and to allow Shaz to have some food and drink! This sort of lack of communication is unfortunately all too common. I have been very fortunate in our hospital here in that they are usually very good about this sort of thing and all the MDT members have worked very closely together, and apart from the postponements of my surgery, which was pretty stressful, there hasn't been too much hassle. Now you've got the thing hanging over you all over the weekend. I do hope you are both able to set it aside at least for tomorrow, so that you can enjoy your special day by being together.

The rose is amazing! I remember years ago my grandfather gave me something similar - it was metal, but the flower itself was red, and the rest was metal. I remember how heavy it was! Unfortunately I can't imagine what happened to it - maybe it got lost in a house move of something, but I really loved it. Shaz will be delighted with it, I know.

Regarding what has happened, I think you would be justified in writing a letter, or putting it in your feedback after she comes home. It's not just a matter of griping about something that went wrong, but if everybody tells them when something like this happens, they have to address it and try and improve the system. The feedback helps everybody in the long run. People are under enough stress as it is, without having to deal with this sort of thing.

Hi Doug, I've come by a very circuitous route to find out what's been going on with Shaz and specifically to wish you both a happy anniversary! I think you are amazing and I'm so appreciative of this detailed blog that you have set up to let Shaz's friends know the latest and as a place for you to vent. I know that's a critical need! What you've been through today is disgusting and I pray that next week goes so much better for you both. Blessings to you both on your 6th anniversary! I'm sure your celebration of love will be wonderful, in spite of the location and circumstances! Please give Shaz my love and tender hugs! Darnell

Doug, I am so glad you had such a lovely day celebrating your anniversary, and that you were able to give Shaz such a fabulous pampering session, doing her hair and nails! That must have been such a treat for her. She looks well contented, lying there in the bed, and it looks as if she's as delighted as I knew she would be with that amazing rose!! That was a great find. I am very glad that you were able to put the unpleasant events of yesterday behind you and just concentrate on the moment.

Hello Doug. What a complete mess-up on Friday. I do so hope they get themselves sorted for the beginning part of this week. I'm so very sorry. I haven't had the computer on since Friday morning - so hadn't caught up with what has been happening.I'm so glad you had such a special time yesterday on your anniversary. That rose is something else! Gorgeous find. And what an anniversary treat - pampered! Fantastic.Continuing to pray for you both amid the chaos of all that is happening. I'm so glad you have made this blog for yourself - it gives you the opportunity to let off steam, then go into Shaz able to help and to talk to the staff in a reasoned manner. I'm amazed you have kept your calm with some of the ineptitude - well done you.Take care - both - and lots of love and hugs to the pair of you.God bless.Margaret

We're so pleased that Shaz is starting to move more and feel a little better...brilliant news :-) Fingers crossed that they don't keep you hanging on for the kidney procedure, that was crazy what happened to you on Friday.Been to Winchester today and Rhys sends his love to you both too.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

So glad to hear that Shaz is making such good progress, Doug. The more she can move around and practise walking, the better she will feel, and the stronger she will get. This whole kidney draining business is a total pain, isn't it. When they mess people around, it's not just the individual patient that's affected, but their spouse/carer as well. I told them on the chemo unit that it was much better if I started my treatment at lunch time rather than mid-a.m. because it meant my hubby could have both the morning and the afternoon free to do his own thing, but if they wanted me mid-a.m. he couldn't do anything else all day because he had to take me, and then collect me mid p.m. Often the other half has to take time off work to be there, and if they mess you about, it means messing that person's work schedule, and their employer, and fellow employees too - it really snowballs! Half the time I think they think they are the only important ones in the world, and don't realise that cancelling stuff at the last minute affects so many people's arrangements, not to mention the emotional turmoil it causes. We went through this with 2 postponements (and almost 3!) of my operation.

Rant over!

I meant to say yesterday that I've never seen sockets like that before. What a brilliant idea! I might get one or two myself. Everybody has USB things to charge up these days, and somebody has really thought about this and developed a very clever design. I am sure you will both find them useful once Shaz comes home!

I like the new background on the blog - much easier to read, although I liked it before because I really like that background and it's a shame to cover it up!!

You are doing such an excellent job, Doug - you are a tower of strength and encouraging Shaz so much, and looking after her so well with pamperings and fav foods etc., and just being there. I do hope when this is all over and she is really feeling better, that you will be able to get away and have a lovely break together. You so deserve it!!

Big hugs to you both, and let's hope you get some good news first thing tomorrow about when they are going to do the procedure. Let's hope they stick to it this time.

Thank you so much for making the reading easier. I was starting to go cross eyed at night trying to read. I hope Shaz does get her wish and get to the crop. It would be such a mental lift for you both, but take things easy. You have both been through the mill over the last few weeks especially. Make sure you get plenty of your favourite things as well as getting all those for Shaz. Lots of love to you both. xxx Maggie

Doug, I think you are both being so brave about all this. I would quite understand if you both wanted to go out and turn a few cars over (although in Shaz's case I don't think it would be advisable after major surgery!!!). You are being remarkably philosophical about it all, yourself, and Shaz is right - you are a rock and definitely keep her sane, as my hubby did for me when things were tough. Shaz will do fine with you behind her, and at her side. I feel so sorry for those poor people who do not have wonderful hubbies or wifelets to support them through thick and thin! Keep up the good work. I am sure Shaz will feel better once the procedure is over - it is now Tues. evening and I wonder how things have gone today? I'll pop back later if I'm still up. We're having a busy week this week and I am very tired now.

Bless you both and keep smiling! You are both doing wonderfully well under very difficult circumstances.

Well, Doug. Again, I haven't had my computer on for several days, and so much has happened in that time! Have been praying for you both, though!! I'm so glad you are seeing progress, and that the procedure was finally done. That sounds good.Yes, I do agree, that the "what ifs" are not a good way to go - take up too much energy for one thing, and aren't a lot of use when trying to move forward for another. You are thinking through things clearly - that is just brilliant, for you must be totally exhausted by now. It would be lovely to read tonight that Shaz has indeed come home, but if there is any doubt in the Dr's mind, then know that she will be in the right place.I finally fetched John home from hospital yesterday (Tuesday) afternoon. They tell us they have dealt with the awful infection he had, and that he is well enough to be in his own environment - after the night we have had, I doubt it - but there we go.So, it is both of us wishing you every blessing today.Much love and many hugs to the pair of you. Take your time when Shaz gets home - it takes re-adjustment!!!God bless you both.Margaret and John

Just managed to catch up and hope that they really will let Shaz home today.Why can't hospitals co-ordinate of procedures, this sound absolutely awfully badly handled. Have been praying for you both and hope that soon you will look back on this time and laugh about it all.Bless you bothChris

As what happens just think it will be the best for Shaz. It's been a long time and a rocky road that you two have had to travel on but let's hope that the end is in sight and you will be reunited (or Shaz will be) with your own home as soon as it is best for her.Give her my love and hugs to you both, what a star you are - so many men should read this blog and see just what you have done for your "bird".Love and HugsNeet xx

Reading this just before collapsing in bed. Thrilled to bits for the pair of you. Take care - don't rush things - just take each moment and day as it comes. John was only discharged yesterday, and is really struggling here at home cos it's so very different - it will take both him, and yourself, Shaz, to re-adjust to everything in your new environment.Much love and hugs.God bless you both. You have done really well over the past days.Margaret and John

Sorry I missed yesterday's post, Doug - just come on and read your two posts, and am thrilled to bits with the news that the dear girl is HOME!!! This is such good news! I join the others in saying take your time, both of you, as it will take time to adjust, and Shaz will need all the rest she can get. It is soooo good that she is back safe and sound in your own home together again. Things can surely only get better from now on!!

And a rainbow too... How thrilling is that? I have had so many rainbows at key moments in my life. Confirmation that all is well and that God keeps His promises! Very special indeed, and well done getting such good photos of it too! Lovely to see the photos of Shaz as well, especially the one at home! I am so, so delighted for you both! What a long haul it has been.

I am glad that the kidney procedure went off OK, when it eventually did happen! Also I am glad that it was painless. One does worry beforehand but a lot of it is fear of the unknown - they are doing these things all the time and know how to make it as comfortable as possible. They were obviously pleased with her or they wouldn't have allowed her home.

My discharge from hospital took all day. It was the day after Easter Monday (when nobody was doing any work in the hospital except the nurses, it seemed!!) - I was ready to go over the weekend but there was nobody there to discharge me! I was waiting over 4 hours for my meds to come up from the pharmacy... Getting discharged takes an awful lot longer than being admitted, doesn't it!

With every blessing to you both, and tons of love and so many hugs! You have both been absolute troopers throughout and Doug, you deserve a medal for being such a wonderful husband, rock and support, just like my own dear hubby! I agree that all husbands should read this blog and see for themselves how to do it!

Couldn't believe how many days I had missed catching up with it all now. So glad to see Shaz home and on the sofa! Much love to you both as you continue to recover from this. Hope to see you at the Crop!

Up until a few days ago I had been checking your blog daily Shaz, but no updates had me worried! I finally had a look at your Facebook page, and saw the link to this blog. You have been through so much in the last few weeks, huge congratulations and well done on getting back Home! No place like it 😊

Doug, you don't know me from a bar of soap (neither does Shaz for that matter), but I think this blog is absolutely wonderful. You write with a great sense of humour, and your love for Shaz is very evident and moving.

I very much admire both your love for each other, and your determination to see the positives in this huge challenge. Being on a similar journey it is very inspiring to me. Thank You xx

Just seen the update - ad I'm so thrilled you even managed the long haul upstairs, Shaz - well done, and I hope you haven't suffered for your efforts. You have done so well, the pair of you, through all this. It has been an incredibly hard journey for you both, and it has been an amazing privilege to follow it with you. To be able to pray for you in it, with a knowledge that I am praying specifically has been so good. Thank you for this blog - you have inspired many with your honesty, Doug. Enjoy being at home together, get all the help you need and qualify for. It is such an encouragement, when things are hard, to know that there is equipment and people out here just for you!Take your time, rest a lot - you must be exhausted.Take care.God bless you both with peace and patience as you adapt your lives.Margaret and John

I echo Margaret's words, every one of them, Doug. You have both done so well, and what a joy it must be to have dear Shaz home again after so long! I am sure that you will get the help you need with the adaptations. Contact the OT dept. at the hospital and they will see you right - they should assess Shaz at home and see what is needed, and it will be provided free of charge, so that you don't need to struggle, and she will be safe.

You will both need to rest a good deal. I have been thinking of you so much, Doug, with all the worry, the driving, working all night... I simply don't know how you've kept going! You both deserve a nice quiet period now to catch up, enjoy each other in the comfort and safety of your own home.

As you begin the next phase of the journey, so do I! My final chemo is tomorrow. After this I can concentrate on getting well, and together, Shaz and I will gradually be getting our lives back! Amazing how our stories have mirrored each other so much along the way, and I cannot tell you what her support and encouragement has meant to me from Day One!

It really sounds as if good progress is being made, Doug, and I am glad you are getting things sorted on the domestic front, to make things easier for Shaz. I was going to suggest that she might find it easier coming down the stairs on her bum! I have done this many times in the past and it certainly helps, even if it doesn't do much for one's dignity, but my feeling is that after all we go through in hospital, there isn't much of that left anyway, lol!!

Bless you both, and keep up the good work.

Excellent news on the Shoshi front - I have finished my chemo! I am raising the flags and can't wait to get over the effects of the final treatment, so I can really concentrate on getting well from now on.

All sounding good, Shaz and Doug. That's all so very heartening. You have done really well, the pair of you. Well done on the half step - brilliant idea, Doug. Coming down on the bum? Oh, haven't we all in times of need?? Hope the OT, nurses, medics, and anyone else who comes in to help, really can! What a great idea re the heating - seen Hive advertised, but would never thought of going for it for your particular situation - but a good idea. Well done.Praying for you - for R&R!Take care.God bless.Margaret and John

Rejoicing that Shaz is finally home Doug, and that things are on the up, bit by bit, truly has been a long path for you both....

I am back from time away, but have read this in my absence and prayed each evening for you in all theses things. Esp pray for all help needed to be there in time. Wonderful indeed about the heating. We're into summery things here so certainly not needing heating, but you surely are.Hugs and every blessing to a very dear couple, hugs, Shaz in Oz.x

So nice to read an update today, Doug. I was going to leave a comment anyway, just to see how things were going. I am so pleased that she is progressing, albeit slowly - she is doing wonderfully well. What gorgeous flowers! and what a lovely surprise to receive them. I am glad the stair carpet project is under way now, and that the heating system is working well. It all helps!

I am also glad to hear that Shaz is sleeping so well. It all helps with the healing process. Listening to one's body and going with the flow is so important, and her full-time job now is to recover, just as mine is!

Hi everyone, well now I'm home I've read the blog and all the wonderful comments you've been leaving for us.To give Doug a break, and a bit more time, I'll be going back to doing updates on my cancer page on my blog http://silverwolfcards-shaz.blogspot.co.uk/. We are both very deeply touched by the love and concern you've all shown us,and want to make sure you all realise not only how much we appreciate it, but also how much it helped us through this. You are all incredible people. xxxxx

You are more than welcome, Shaz. It's been a privilege to follow your incredible story, and to see first hand just how amazing Doug has been throughout. I really don't know how he coped with all the driving and working nights and looking after things at home as well as visiting you - how he got enough sleep to keep going is beyond me! You have both been totally amazing throughout, and I am so, so happy you are now home and gradually picking up the threads again. I have so valued your support through my own cancer journey this year and have wanted to show the same support in every way I could, especially while you were both going through the mill so much. My journey has been easy by comparison!!

To Love, honor and obey, for better or worse, in sickness and in health. What a great testimony to your vows and love to and for one another. I read thru the blog, in absolute awe of the depth of caring demonstrated in your love! May the Lord continue to oversee your lives!