The Therapist

The first appointment while anxiety provoking, went better than expected.

After much internal debate, Michelle finally worked through her trepidations to discuss a rather private concern with her GP. In the past year, attaining an orgasm became increasingly difficult during the rare moments of physical intimacy with her spouse. The relationship was well intact, but years of the same led to a drop in libido and increased sexual frustration, in fact, her last orgasm during intercourse was a distant memory. The harder she tried the worse it became, and virtually assured a continued pattern. The frustration finally trumped embarrassment leading to this day. The GP had assured her that similar situations were typically psychological in nature and therefore a consultant visit was in order.

Fortunately the GP had received positive feedback from other patients about a local therapist, who generally produced positive results. Leaving the GP's office with a consult in hand she couldn't help but wonder if she was 'crazy' - why else would her GP want her to see a psychologist? Perhaps she should have revealed that she had no problems when using her two favorite, but worn-out, vibrators. During the weeks leading up to this appointment she was nagged by the GP's last words, "don't worry, you'll grow accustomed to his accent," which she followed with a subtle wink.

Dr Picard, Psychologist. The sign on the door was clear but subtle on this old converted Victorian terraced home. A bit of concern remained as she walked inside, but in general the walk to the office through a well-manicured park distracted her mind sufficiently. She was greeted by a pleasant receptionist, no different than the norm, although slightly younger and definitely more attractive.

"Please have a seat, Dr P is typically running a few minutes late, but don't worry, he won't cut your time short," the receptionist directed after they exchanged brief pleasantries.

The waiting room was comfortable with a loveseat and several leather chairs more typically found in a well-kept home than an office. The music was relaxing and the general atmosphere intentionally put her at ease. Looking around, the magazines were current and pointed to someone interested in an active lifestyle, sailing, biking, kayaking, also world affairs. The paintings were all signed originals with a Mediterranean influence. Clearly the waiting room was considered carefully, but without being ostentatious. The quality visible to the discerning eye, but otherwise simply deemed comfortable and relaxing. She sat back and tried to look comfortable … to no avail.

About ten minutes late, a man emerged politely escorting another patient out of the office. Looking up, she averted eye contact with the other woman, but then caught a glimpse of this man. OMG!was her first thought, then quickly chided herself for such an adolescent reaction. He stood in the door way, 6 foot tall, broad shouldered without being muscular, and fit for his age which she estimated at mid-40's but solely because of the salt-and-pepper hair. His skin and face appeared a few years younger than his actual age without the usual wrinkles. Tall, dark and handsome came to mind - she was well aware of the cliché, but was a bit too struck to think of anything else in the moment. He had a naturally dark complexion, symmetrical face, and dark brown eyes which were tucked behind a pair of current yet conservative glasses. Head to toe, he dressed professionally without being stuffy and uptight. The biggest suggestion to his style came at the glimpse of the watch beneath his cuff and a pair of shoes which were clearly Italian and certainly not purchased near here. He walked in with confidence, but lacked any apparent arrogance. She guessed he was Italian based on his complexion, shoes and art. The other two women were clearly at ease in his presence. In that second, she was also caught by how much she literally absorbed of this man in a few brief, self-indulgent, seconds.

"Michelle I presume? I'm Dr P, sorry I'm late. Would you like to come back?"

Michelle muttered something unintelligible, caught off-guard by her observations, thoughts and sudden recollection that she was here to discuss her sexual (not so) well-being. He extended his hand with a firm, but comfortable grip. His hands were strong, yet remained soft to the touch. Michelle’s mouth dried and her heart began to race as she experienced a quick flashback to her GP's wink, while making further observations and mental notes as he strolled off in front of her. Although it was soft, she caught the accent –‘American? What was he doing here? Or was he an Italian who happened to learn English in the states?’ "Please have a seat," he offered, pointing to a long comfortable couch, "but don't worry, I think Freud spent far too much time doing drugs, its simply a comfortable couch I picked up while living near Venice."

The pieces would have fit together better if she were not so damn nervous.

"Thanks for coming in today, normally I would spend a little time simply asking why you're here Michelle, but your GP was kind enough to give me a heads up. I can appreciate how difficult it is to discuss a topic as sensitive as your sexual well-being and that it might be a tad bit embarrassing."

‘You have no idea,' she thought to herself.

"But I can assure you that your concerns are common and I doubt you're crazy". To that, he added a wry little smile and a wink, easing some of her tension, while creating an entirely new one. ‘Is it possible for a man's voice to be so soothing, almost velvety? Focus Michelle!’ she keeps chiding herself. At this point she was acutely aware of being flushed head to toe, not exactly what she expected when crawling out from under her duvet this morning.

"Before we progress further, can I verify that your goal remains your sexual well-being and concerns about achieving an orgasm with your partner?" direct and to the point he remained, professional without any glimpse of discomfort discussing her ability to orgasm. She kept thinking,'if only I were equally comfortable.'

"Over the course of my career I've discovered that often the problem is rarely anorgasmia, rather it stems from a problem in the relationship, sometimes its only a matter of communication. Can you tell me, when was the last time you had an orgasm with your husband? And do you have any problem achieving an orgasm when you masturbate?" Gasp. That did it, Michelle noticed that she caught her breath quickly. While she was hesitant to discuss sex with her husband, this dream of a man pulled no strings, and just asked a question she rarely admits to even her closest friends. 'Is he on to me? How did he know that I can cum while reading porn and rubbing my clit with my favorite pink orb?' "I'm sorry Michelle, I can see I caught you off guard a little bit, I realize this is awkward to discuss, but if I'm not direct we will spend the next 45 minutes dancing around the subject and the last 5 with you acknowledging your concerns more honestly. I'd rather see us use your time productively."

"You're right, I guess I wasn't prepared, but am hoping you might be able to help. Or at least that's what my GP suggested. Did anyone ever say you are a bit unconventional?" she asks, her voice starting to quiver a little less.

A big grin extended across his face, "Haha, I've heard many things over the years, but nice try, remember, this is about you." 'Damn, he's quick too. Don't try to side track him again.' While thinking this, she had an uncomfortable feeling that he might read her thoughts too.

"So, can you tell me, when was the last time you were passionately intimate with your husband? And when was the last time you had an orgasm with him? Or on your own?". Direct and to the point again, his face failing to reveal anything she can read. 'He really should be playing poker.' And with that observation, she relented much sooner than anticipated, disclosing when the problems started and how it continues. In reality, it started after an evening of socializing with some of his work colleagues. One of his younger peers became flirtatious as the evening wore on, sparking a desire deep down she was not even aware existed. Her curiosity was triggered and from that moment forward, desire for her husband waned, while she simultaneously began fantasizing about other men, first his flirtatious co-worker, then her friends' husbands, neighbors and eventually random blokes on the street. She often wondered if this was how the male brain (often referred to as a penis) worked - obsessed about sexual fantasies and constantly seeking orgasmic euphoria. As her fantasies increased in intensity and frequency, so too did her time dedicated to her trusty vibrators, pearl and opal. Rabbit was reserved for the special occasions. As she shared the intimate details of her sex life, it was almost comical how obvious the problem was - she spent so much time masturbating and fantasizing about known and random men, that there was little excitement left for her husband.

"Well Michelle, seems like you are more aware of the problem by simply explaining it to me. Your problem is not physical in origin, simply that your desires have broadened beyond your partner. While this is completely normal, you have continued to experience these urges, fulfilling them alone without his awareness. The more you fantasized and focused on what was missing, the more that interfered in your sexual relationship. Its a bit challenging as a woman to have an orgasm when you are no longer completely relaxed with your husband due to the guilt you feel over these thoughts. Its also difficult as you've learned how to orgasm quite readily with your imagination while masturbating." As he summarized her story, she realized that he was supremely comfortable discussing such a personally sensitive subject. She had never met a man so comfortable discussing sexuality. Much less her own.

During her discussion of concerns and orgasmic experiences along with his leading questions to draw out the truth, she became more and more aware of her increasingly aroused state. It was complicated by the dissipation of her anxiety and flashes of this man's charm, ease, smile and those deep brown eyes. At first she sensed that her nipples were aroused, then came the sensation of the moisture between her lips. And with that awareness, she recognized that formulating thoughts became more and more difficult. 'God, maybe I'm becoming a guy! Am I hitting my proverbial sexual peak?'

"Michelle, what I would propose is helping you to refocus your energies on your partner while encouraging you to speak openly to him about your fantasies. I think you are completely normal and resolving some of your guilt may certainly help. There is nothing wrong with wanting to express these desires or explore them further after so many years together. Clearly you are devoted to him and want to improve your relationship. Honestly, this shouldn't be any more complicated than an honest discussion and a bit of guided imagery to help you imagine the same fantasies, but with your partner." They discussed a few more nuances of treatment along with her concerns, the details of which were mostly lost on her.

"I would however ask that you return as our time is running short. Can you return in a week or so?"

'How about tomorrow? If he only knew what I was thinking ... or did he?' "Yes, I'd like that," she expressed with a bit of composure. At that, they arranged a follow-up time and parted company.

On the drive home, she was trying to process the details of their time together, but mostly she was trying to shake the look in his eyes and appeal of his voice. Forgetting those aspects was problematic as she could feel that her thong was now soaked and felt the overwhelming urge to masturbate. Her grocery run could wait, in her mind, she set a date with rabbit. Never mind pearl and opal, she needed more this afternoon. She wanted to feel its girth spread her wet lips as the ears tickled her clit to a delightful orgasm. Lost in these thoughts she managed to cut off a car at a round-a-bout close to home. 'Dammit Michelle, FOCUS!'

Pulling in the driveway, she ignored her usual routine and parked haphazardly. There was a more pressing matter, the car could wait, or her husband could move it later. As her pulse remained high, she fumbled with her house keys, chuckling at herself. She was an adolescent desperate to get inside for a quick grope.

Inside, her purse was abandoned as randomly as the car, allowing her to quickly proceed up the stairs. The wetness of her pussy was abundantly clear as her smoothly shaved and now swollen lips, rubbed against each other with each subsequent step. Crossing the threshold to her room, she closed the door and the blinds. She pulled off her light skirt and thong in one rapid motion - no man had ever undressed her this eagerly or swiftly! Laying down, she reached under her bed, pulling her rabbit out from her box of toys. Lubrication was not necessary today as her pussy was completely ready for this moment and would not be denied. A flick of the switch and rabbit came to life and knew its mission. Closing her eyes, her mind drifted off to his office and couch. She could see him in vivid detail sitting in front of her as she imagined hiking up her dress to reveal her long slender legs and light blue laced thong. She saw herself removing her pants, exposing her silky, shimmering clit in all its glory. Before her doctor had a chance to react, she imagined showing him how she liked to please herself, how she came most readily when a toy was not available. If he was going to ask about her orgasms, she was damn well going to show him! As the rabbit parted her lips, sinking deeper and deeper inside, she could visualize him pushing up out his chair, approaching her while sinking to his knees and gently touching her thighs with his hands. Not a word shared, just an intense look to suggest that he wanted her ... it was at that point that she could feel the rush of more blood to her clit, and the intense build up preparing to culminate.

There simply wasn't enough time for her to expand on the fantasy before this crucial release escaped without control. Rabbit was bobbing in an out, purposefully, yet with wild abandon. The crescendo peaked and she came. Wave after wave of orgasmic contractions spread throughout her body and must have lasted a few minutes, during which time stood still and she’s not sure if she breathed at all - except she certainly moaned with delight. Normally controlled, she swore that her neighbors could hear her this time. The intense, glorious orgasm was building from the moment he introduced himself, "Hello I'm Dr. P."

As the desire to nap took hold, reality pushed through the euphoric haze revealing that she suddenly had a new problem... For now though, the release over powered any rational or irrational concern. Her orgasm was so intense that she was asleep dreaming of her next appointment almost before rabbit emerged from his hole.

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