being back at high school with the same old “cool kids” bullshit in a different box.

That is what it feels like from my 'side' too. Whatever that is. Added to the feeling like a traitor because I'm seeing a chap (to lesbian friends), a tourist when I've shown any interest in mmmmboobies, and a traitor that I'm seeing anyone at all (to single friends) ...

I offered to take my own toaster oven to a 90% lesbian party once, but was told it was too meta... ;-)

OK, I admit it. I'm a heterosexual male who values monogamy. Statistically, I would guess I'm one of the privileged, although it doesn't always feel like that. All I'd ask from a potential lover is honesty so that we don't get our wires crossed after commitments have been made or implied. Anyway, great post Emma. It offers insight to all of us, whatever our preferences.

OK, I admit it. I'm a heterosexual male who values monogamy. Statistically, I would guess I'm one of the privileged, although it doesn't always feel like that.

Euan, I don't want to come down on your arse too hard (so to speak) but I suspect that might be because you have nothing to compare it to. Have you ever been abused by strangers for walking down the street holding hands with your lover? Ever been unable to get legal recognition for your relationship? Ever risked jail for having sex the way you and your partner both wanted to? Ever felt you couldn't take a partner home for Christmas with your family because it would cause ructions?

I could go on. But that privilege isn't just in the things that happen to you. It's also layered in the things that don't. And it's very hard to see something not happen.

Yes, you are right, of course. Most of those haven't been issues for me. A good friend recently revealed how she'd had to leave home at 17 and hasn't been spoken to by her Dad since cos he can't handle his daughter being gay. She's a strong woman.