Known since I was really young that I have Dyspraxia and mild Autism. Grew up overseas so never really knew anyone else who has the same thing. Anytime I've tried to open up to a friend the best way I could explain the way I am is to show them a definition of what Dyspraxia is. (Not much Help) I'm not very good at writing things down so I hope that I can chat to people for advise about things and visa versa.

Hi I am a 28 year old woman working on getting a diagnosis. I'm always known I was clumsy and "different." I've always felt like I wasn't naturally good at anything and that it takes me twice the effort to get half the results as other people. I grew up in the US, I don't think dyspraxia is as well known here as it is in the UK. Realizing that I may have dyspraxia has given me so much relief for my self-perceived short comings. I was on a sports team in university, and was usually benched instead of being allowed to compete. Despite being one of the hardest working people on the team, I was one of the worst athletes. I quit in frustration my last year, I just wasn't OK with putting in all that time and not being allowed to compete. I've always been really hard on myself about it and viewed myself as a failure and a quitter. Now for the first time I'm really proud of myself for being able to make a university level sports team despite my limitations. Just reading other peoples' stories online so much about my life is falling into place and oddly enough giving me hope. I know that I'm not a failure and I'm not alone.

My name is Dave which is probably easy to work out from my user name I don't have dyspraxia myself but my partners son was diagnosed 13 years ago with dyspraxia.

He's now 18 and is a good person. Two months ago we all decided to make a big move to live together (not having lived together before or spent a large amount of time with the son together during the last year while our relationship developed) and also relocated 300 miles from my partner and her sons home town to sunny Cornwall where the rest of their family are.

The son has found the move very distressing and it soon became apparent to me that I need to learn and understand as much as I can about dyspraxia to help and support him best I can and in all honesty cope myself with some of the daily challenges that have been arising.

Although his mum is very good at supporting her son I have found that due to her family not accepting that there can be more then just the physical aspects to dyspraxia she has struggled to help me understand after years of being "shut down" by her family.

It sadly does seem the case that the emotional impact of dyspraxia is all too often misunderstood/overlooked. It's more than just being a bit more clumsy and awkward in a physical sense. We can feel very isolated and alone. Change and uncertainty are issues that bother a lot of people but I would venture to say that they often cause an additional level of distress for us, as our existing coping strategies may no longer be workable, which will heighten any anxiety.

it can take a while to readjust and see the positives of change that we may feel as having been imposed on us. Add to that, being on the cusp of adulthood, theres's a lot of change involved in trying to forge an identity. As guys we tend to also feel less able to openly talk about any difficulties, lest this be seen as a sign of weakness. We often feel we need to try and explain ourselves but this is difficult and that itself can become a vicious circle.

If in the future you want to encourage your (step) son to visit this site we can always remove your posts, should you want us to do so. In the meantime feel free to have a look at what has been posted here. Please feel free to ask any questions you might have, Please do bear in mind that despite a common condition every one of us is still very much a unique individual trying to find his (or her) way.

TomModerator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Hi I'm 22 male, recently discovered I'm Dyspraxic and struggling to come to terms with it. I've always known I'm 'different' and never really had an explanation for it. I guess I just hoped I'd be accepted as the funny/loveable weirdo, but deep down I just wanna be normal and think like a normal person. For me I can summarise the most painful parts of my life below:

1) being bad at sports - embarrassingly bad. An average 4 year old kicks a ball/throws a ball better than me. Destroyed my self confidence/masculinity and made it harder to fit in. I think I over-compensated by being the clown in whichever group I was part of, but sometimes I'd like to be taken seriously.

2) I know I'm intelligent I've done well good job in finance etc. But I've underperformed relative to my potential throughout life as I'm terribly disorganised and a worrier. On top of that I still think I'm stupid because sometimes I lack common sense, jumble up words, and lie because my working memory is so appalling.

Only found out couple months ago from an orthopaedic surgeon my diagnosis - as son had same issues.

I feel negative though as not much can be done to help - as without being offensive I can tie my laces and use scissors so I'm skeptical as to how much an occupational therapist can help, I just can't play sports, walk in a straight line or control my emotions

Oh well, can only make the best of the **** card you've been given in life (sigh). Sometimes I feel like I'm so outgoing, funny, caring if I was more athletic and didn't have dyspraxia I'd be so confident and happy on the inside (not fake happy). Funny part is I get told I'm good looking by girls, but never had the confidence to ask a girl out (getting with girls when drunk is fine lol) I just can't see any worth in myself as I've never felt talented/known what my innate abilities/interests are.

Hi and welcomeIt can feel very emasculating especially if you naturally compare yourself to others. I've really struggled with dating relationships and loneliness. Visual impairment and not driving hasn't helped either but I'm reasonably self reliant determined and independent.. My coping strategy for my lack of athletic prowess was/is a disinterest in sport but that can leave you feeling like an outsider too.

It's not really any easier if you're a lady and struggle with hair,makeup, walking in heels etc. It can be easy to beat oneself for not feeling fortunate for what we do have/can do, but remember it is relative and on a bad day being dyspraxic can really make you feel rubbish and it can be hard to process quite overwhelming feelings and put a brave face on.

Anyway I hope this site helps.

TomModerator/Administrator

With a foot full of bullets I tried to run faster but I just hobbled on to the next disaster.(from Peter and the Test Tube Babies, Foot Full of Bullets)

Hi I am a newbie to this forum. My friend has a son who was diagnosed with dyspraxia as a child but was never told that he has this disability. He struggles academically now-organizational skills, essay writing, has very few friends of his own age. Trying really hard to find more info on dyspraxia but having difficulties. In some ways it seems very close to LD which both of my children have. Any ideas? Books etc?

I've joined really on behalf of my Son, he is 24 and on the whole does very well, he got diagnosed very early on age 3/4 years of age due to his lack of speech (absolutely none used Makaton) and was statemented. However he had a job in IT with a company that was very good and understood, left him to get on with the work and did not pressure him to attend the 'social side of the office'. Unfortunately the company moved to London which meant public transport for over an hour until then work was a 15 minute walk - no problem. Since then he has been pushed by Universal Credits into MacDonalds and all sorts of other positions which have just sent him into melt down!! We have just started looking at PIP anyone else been through this? He wants to work. I get very angry, I work in a hospital so deal with some stuff that maybe a person behind a desk could not deal with I do not think any less of them for that and would not expect them to do what I do so why if some people are not suited to a customer service based job are they pushed into it??????????

I've joined really on behalf of my Son, he is 24 and on the whole does very well, he got diagnosed very early on age 3/4 years of age due to his lack of speech (absolutely none used Makaton) and was statemented. However he had a job in IT with a company that was very good and understood, left him to get on with the work and did not pressure him to attend the 'social side of the office'. Unfortunately the company moved to London which meant public transport for over an hour until then work was a 15 minute walk - no problem.

Since then he has been pushed by Universal Credits into MacDonalds and all sorts of other positions which have just sent him into melt down!! We have just started looking at PIP anyone else been through this? He wants to work. I get very angry, I work in a hospital so deal with some stuff that maybe a person behind a desk could not deal with I do not think any less of them for that and would not expect them to do what I do so why if some people are not suited to a customer service based job are they pushed into it??????????

Hi Bren

Sorry to read of your son's situation. Have you/he had any contact with the Disabled Employment Advisor at JobCentre Plus? I completely agree that it is at, best counterproductive,to try to force anyone with Dyspraxia, or any disability, to do something so far outside their comfort zone. I don't think I'd fare at all well in a public facing frontline customer service role in a completely new and to me alien environment. Any placement requires the necessary support from an employer who understands and wants to bring out your son's potential as an employee. What, if anything, does he declare about his difficulties/abilities and necessary coping strategies?

Thank you for letting me hear, I only recently found out that I have Dyspraxia and this is has been a massive breakthrough for me. I never knew what I had and now finding out what it is, apart from my mental health issues, I feel a lot better.