I don't think this is what Gregg Popovich meant when he said he wanted some nasty.

The Oklahoma City Thunder: After the Spurs imposed their will on the Thunder in Game 1 -- especially over the final 12 minutes -- Oklahoma City coach Scott Brooks was shelled by bloggers and media experts for not giving Serge Ibaka enough fourth quarter burn. Well, Serge logged a fat 39 minutes last night, and the Thunder looked even more helplessly overmatched by a Spurs team that apparently has no flaws. Unless you count Tiago Splitter's haircut. And you should.

Despite Tim Duncan's off shooting night (2-for-11 from the field), the Spurs converted 55.1 percent of their field goal attempts and finished with 120 points despite bricking 12 free throws and committing 18 turnovers. Remember: In one of those Mic'd up segments in Game 1, Brook screamed at his troops: "We're a defensive team." I wonder what he said after rookie Kawhi Leonard lit 'em up for 18 points on 7-for-12 shooting. Of course, the Thunder finished the regular season ranked 11th in Defensive Rating and currently rank ninth out of 16 playoff teams. So I'm not sure they're really the "defensive team" Brooks seems to think they are.

Speaking of Brooks, he unveiled the Hack-a-Splitter strategy with 2:31 left in the third quarter and the Thunder trailing 83-66. After about a grueling minute of that "action," Splitter had gone 5-for-10 from the line and OKC was down 88-72. Which was...good...I guess. They made up one point of their deficit anyway.

According to Brooks, though, he was just trying to change the pace of the game: "It changed the tempo a little bit. They (the Spurs) were fast tonight. That ball was just all over the floor with quick passes, passes that were right in their shooting pockets, and it kind of threw their rhythm out a little bit. He stepped up and made six of them (including another trip to the line that was not away from the ball). He did better than his playoff percentage. But if on occasion we have an opportunity to do it again, we will."

Can't wait!

Reggie Miller, quote machine: "This is a surgical clinic by Gregg Popovich and the San Antonio Spurs."

Bonus stat: The Thunder had been giving up an average of 92.9 PPG in the playoffs. The Spurs had 92 at the end of the third quarter.

Gregg Popovich, quote machine: Regarding the Hack-a-Splitter plan: "No, I’ve never done that before. I think it's a lousy thing to do. It's unsportsmanlike."
Pop then added: "No, it's a a good move. If there's a reason to do it and they felt there was a reason to do it, they did it. It's a good move."

Serge Ibaka, poster boy: Tim Duncan says: STUFF THIS, IBAKA.

I guess Timmy gave Pop what he wanted.

Kendrick Perkins: Yikes. 3 points, 1-for-5, 5 rebounds, 4 turnovers, 3 fouls, and a game-worst plus-minus of -14 in 24 minutes. Sam Smith of Bulls.com recently called Perkins a "fraud," and I'm starting to think he may have a point.

Charles Barkley, quote machine: "I gotta call out my boy Scott Brooks tonight. It took him over three quarters to see you can't play those two big guys [Kendrick Perkins and Serge Ibaka] together."

Derek Fisher: Remember how he almost saved the Thunder in Game 1 with his near-perfect shooting? I guess he used up all his makes, because last night he went 2-for-11, including 0-for-6 inside the arc. Oddly, he had a team-best plus-minus score of +9. Must be all the veteran savvy.

Tony Parker had a shooting game for the ages Tuesday night.
It didn't matter where he was aiming from.
He hit 5 of 6 shots from inside 10 feet, misfiring only on a twisting first-quarter layup. He was 7 for 9 from 10 to 20 feet. And he hit 4 of 6 from 20 feet and beyond to finish off a 34-point effort that was the biggest playoff scoring binge by a Spurs player since his 43-point effort against Dallas in 2009.
Parker's 16-for-21 shooting effort Tuesday night ended up as the best shooting game by a true guard with at least 20 shots in the playoffs since Vinnie Johnson notched a similar 16-for-21 game against Boston in 1985. And it was the biggest reason why the Spurs cruised to a 120-111 victory over the Thunder, claiming a 2-0 lead in the best-of-seven series.
Parker might have out Microwaved “the Microwave” with his clutch shooting down the stretch, hitting 7 of his 8 2-point attempts and one of his two 3-pointers in the second half.
It finished off a memorable night that he was at a loss to explain afterwards.
"I don't know," Parker said. "It was just one of those nights. I felt in a good rhythm early on. I was making my shots and just trying to be aggressive."

What's more, there were a few times when you could tell Russell wanted to pay Parker back, which resulted in some of those awful dribble-dribble-dribble-dribble-dribble-shoot possessions that may be the fatal flaw that prevents Westbrook from becoming a true superstar. Speaking of which...

Thabo Sefolosha: I know he really starts only so James Harden can win Sixth Man of the Year awards, but damn: 2 points, 1-for-4 shooting, 1 rebound and a -10 in 15 minutes.

Nazr Mohammed and Daequan Cook: In a combined 10 minutes off the bench, Mohammed and Cook each contributed...1 personal foul. That's it. Not a point. Not a rebound. Not even a turnover. Thanks for coming, fellas.

Kawhi Leonard's shoe-tying abilities: Try a double knot, Kawhi.

Tony Parker, quote machine, Part 1: Regarding his 8 assists: "It's always been a battle my whole career, when you're a scoring point guard and Pop wants you to score, then he wants you to pass, and he wants you to score, and he wants you to pass. You go back and forth. It's always been the biggest room for me to improve, to find a happy middle between scoring and passing, and find that good balance. I think, over the years, I got better at it."

Tony Parker, quote machine, Part 2: On getting blistered by a Popovich rant in the second half: "He's screamed at me for 11 years. We weren't getting our plays. We were playing sloppy."

Tony Parker, quote machine, Part 3: "When you have Coach Pop screaming at you every day, that will make you pass the ball. He's always big on, 'Find a better shot.' That's the way we play."

Kevin Durant, quote machine: "There are no moral victories for us. We were down. We dug ourselves a hole. We did what we normally do, which is fight all game, and we lost."

Scott Brooks, quote machine: On why the Spurs spanked his team: "They were making shots. I mean, they were spraying them all over the floor and knocking them in. I thought (Kawhi) Leonard was making the shots. (Manu) Ginobili made a lot of tough shots tonight. (Tony) Parker was on fire."

Indiana Pacers: It was a great 12 minutes while it lasted. And by lasted, I mean the Pacers having a 28-21 advantage at the end of the first quarter, the crowd going buck wild, and Larry Bird chuckling to himself, "these guys aren't soft at all"

And then the rest of the game happened.

Miami kicked it up a notch and overcame an 11 point deficit on their way to outscoring the Pacers every single quarter the rest of the way.

As for Indy, it's not even like they shot poorly (48% from the floor), they still managed to outrebound the Heat, got more free throws, and everything else the home team should.....they just let the two players you should contain the most go off for crazy numbers, and 22 turnovers didn't exactly help their movement either.

"Chris Bosh is an awesome basketball player, but when he goes down, that
just means more touches for LeBron and Wade," Coach Vogel said. "That's not
exactly an advantage. More like addition by subtraction. Can't wait for them to trade Bosh this summer. FML"

David West hates children

So now, the Heat await the winner of the Philly/Boston series. I'm hoping Boston wins just so the Heat actually get somewhat of a challenge in the ECF.

By the way, ABC's promo poster for the Heat looks great:

As for the Indy fans.....oh boy.

Good to see that Harry and Lloyd decided to make an appearance!

Weekend's Upcoming Games:

SATURDAY:

Boston vs. 1776'ers, 8:00 PM ET: A betting man would put money on the Celtics to close this one out at home. What say you KG?

Can you imagine being roommates with this guy on the road? Yikes

SUNDAY:

Spurs vs Thunder, 8:30 PM ET: Literally counting down the hours till tipoff. But I'm probably just more excited to see if this Laker fan in the pic below will make a comeback:

Maybe if Jones spent less time rubbing his eye and more time running plays, the Pacers wouldn't be down 37 points.

LeBron catches up on some pre-game reading

The Indiana Pacers: Well the honeymoon was great while it lasted. Felt like it was only a couple days ago the Pacers took a 2-1 series lead, shocked everyone, and Miami was labeled D.O.A

Unfortunately for Indiana, it was a best of 7 series, not a best of 3. In a game that had huge playoff implications, a Game 5 win for Indy with the next one at home would have put them in the driver's seat for an ECF berth. Instead, they got into the driver's seat and drove off a cliff.

The Heat led by as many as 37 points handing Indiana their worst playoff loss in franchise history.

They also had flagrant fouls galore in this game:

Who needs to battle to the ECF when you can get the WWF right here.

Indiana shot a measly 33% as their starting 5 went 16-48 from the floor.

And considering that Indy's starting 5 usually puts up these kinds of numbers:

The Pacers have outscored opponents by 75 points with its starting lineup (Paul George, Danny Granger, Roy Hibbert, George Hill and David West)
on the court together this postseason, the best plus-minus for any
five-player combination in the playoffs. When any other combination of
Pacers has been on the court, Indiana has been outscored by 48. In the
Eastern Conference Semifinals, the starters are +47 and all other
lineups are -74.

Ouch is right.

"We learned early in this series, you don't get two wins for a blowout," Pacers coach Frank Vogel said. "Thankfully, you don't get two losses for a blowout either, otherwise we'd be f*cked"

"I can't believe my team went soft. S-O-F-T," Larry Bird told the Indianapolis
Star. "I'm disappointed. I never thought it would happen."

His assistant then whispered into Bird's ear that he's running the 2012 Indiana Pacers, not the '86 Celtics.

Game 6 is tomorrow night, and I'm sure the shadow of LeBron will loom over Granny Danger:

At least when LeBron isn't ignoring his coaches:

From Around the League:

So the Lakers were officially eliminated, and no tears were shed....outside southern California anyway:

Andrew Bynum demonstrates what he'll be doing all summer on the beach

The face of a man who will be joining the bread line in no time

You mad?

OKC/Spurs:

So this is pretty much 2012's NBA Finals matchup. Not that an Eastern team can't take it this year, but it's probably the best matchup you're going to see in this year's playoffs.

I'm thinking Spurs in 6, but this series will probably go the distance.

Who wouldn't want to see the following teams face off against each other:

The look Chris Paul has upon realizing, yes, his team owner is the one and only Donald Sterling.

So yeah, the Clippers AND Lakers are finished, with only one 2nd round game win (from the Lakeshow) between the two squads. Who knew coming into this spring that...the ONLY sport being played past mid-May in downtown Los Angeles would be...Los Angeles Kings ice hockey?!

To quote Bawful himself from a text message at 11:41 PM in his time zone: "Bye, Kobe."

The speculation over Pau Gasol's future - hey, wasn't that a linchpin of the initial CP3 trade talks - begins anew. The final day of Laker basketball in Year One of the Mike Brown Era involved the newly christened "Indiana Ron" encountering the Temple of the Reputation Call, one even getting Mamba T'd up...and one Russell Westbrook fluke that will be remembered by Zombie Sonics fans for decades to come.

Sure, turnovers being handed out by Philly faster than a Pepperidge Farm outlet, that was the big story of Boston's comeback...that and the surprising emergence of Brandon Bass, what with 27 points to lead the C's to the series lead.

But the Sixers still had the scoreboard advantage, 57-53, midway through the 3rd. That's when The Truth laid out a clear path armbar foul on a breaking Andre Iguodala.

Two freebies at the charity stripe, right?

Wrong.

Two bricks later, the momentum turned in favor of the Celtics for good. Was that really the pivotal moment in Game 5?

Why don't we ask Iguodala himself, after his eight point, 3-of-10 from the floor performance -

“It seemed to be the turning point for us,” Iguodala said of missing the two clear-path foul shots. “That’s the way the game goes sometimes. "

Woops.

LACKTION REPORTLakers-Thunder: Josh McRoberts jacked up a final brick this season in 98 seconds for a +1, while Andrew Goudelock, Darius Morris (despite an assist) and Troy Murphy had 58 seconds of Smash Brothers action as MARIO TRIPLETS!For Oklahoma City, Daequan Cook heated up one piece of nougat-covered masonry in 315 seconds for a celebratory +1, while Lazar Hayward went all in against Jerry Buss with pocket aces and came away 1.6 trilion (97 seconds) richer.

So, after two quarters in Indianapolis for Game 3, the series (1-1) and game (43-43) were tied.

Not for long though, thanks to a 17-3 run to start the 3rd...and Dwyane Wade having little to celebrate after a rather lacktive-sounding 2 of 13 from the field, finishing with not one, not two, not three, but FIVE whole points.

Not only did Wade's frustrations take the Heat out of their offense, as he attempted to fire his way back into his typical box-score prominence, but his failure to get back on defense and (at times) go over the top on Indiana's screens drew Spoelstra's ire.

Not that their third-quarter "conversation" was troubling the Heat coach.

Corbin realizes that his summer plans involve spending more time with his mother in law

Mo Williams busts out his best Olivia Newton John imitation

Utah Jazz: And just like that, the series was over before it ever felt like it began. Utah fell to the Spurs 81-87, in a series where they never held on to a lead for more than 2 minutes through all four games.

The Jazz had their backs to the wall after getting humiliated yet again in Game 3. This was after the Salt Lake Tribune blasted Utah for being a no show in the series.

So what do the Jazz do in a do or die Game 4? Well let's just say when the going gets tough, the Jazz get going.....all the way home fishing.

Shooting a measly 36% from the floor, 65% from the free throw line (at home where everyone was so polite and quiet for them) and oh yeah, 0-13 on 3 pointers (compared to San Antonio's 10-22 from long range) and you've got yourself the recipe for a textbook sweep. Oh, and that 0-13 performance was Utah's worst post season or regular since going 0-15 against the Rockets back in 2008.

While we're on the topic of long range, allow me to highlight the fact that San Antonio hit 33 three pointers whereas Utah hit 9 through all 4 games. For those counting at home, that's a 99-27 point total advantage.

"We've shown when things are bad, we are going to continue to fight,"
Corbin said. "Any time you have a game against us, you are going to know
you have been in a fight."

I'm sure when you play the Jazz you know you're going to be in a fight...just not with Utah as they all but rolled over and died in this series. A solid attempt at a comeback in last night's game still doesn't diminish the fact that the Jazz got absolutely pummeled.

"It was a good experience, going out there playing against the Spurs,"
said Favors, who was acquired along with Harris in the blockbuster trade
that sent Williams to New Jersey last year. "It was a challenge. I
thought I stepped up to the plate. The rest of my teammates were awful. Especially that goofy kid from the cast of Big Love....Gordy something"

That's eight straight playoff series losses for Utah. Thanks for the memories fellas!

Memphis Carebears: As if blowing a 27 point lead in Game 1 wasn't bad enough, the Grizzlies thought to give us an encore performance by completely falling apart in Game 3 to give the Clippers a 2-1 series lead.

In Game 4, the Grizz were down 10 late in regulation and then the Clippers though it would be fun to do a Memphis imitation and be exactly who we thought they were.

Leading 84-74 with 4 minutes left, the Clippers clanked, turnovered (that's a word, right?), and fouled their way into helping the Grizz go on a 13-3 run to close the game and force OT.

Paul couldn't even get off a shot at the end of regulation to go for the win.

"The worst mistake I probably made in the game was not getting the shot
at the end of regulation," he added. "If I was at home watching it on
TV, I'd be talking so bad about me, but instead I'll let 'Bawful do it for me. You've got to get through it.
The [best] thing about it is that I have teammates that have confidence
in me. Everything that we do is a team win, even if I feel like I'm alone on island with this bozo of a coach."

To make matters worse, despite a 30 point effort from Blake Griffin, Blake found himself on the bench for most of overtime with his 6th foul.

Chris Paul took over in OT, getting back to back buckets to push the Clipper lead to 6 points and essentially end the game.

"Chris is always intense," Clippers coach Vinny Del Negro said. "That's
what makes him special. Chris is so good, not only at making plays for
himself, but making the right play, which is great since I can't draw one up to save my life. That's what makes him a star."

That's right Vinny Del Negro is on the verge of a second round appearance.

What a wacky season indeed.

Troll Reporter:

Crazy woman looking for Kenyon Martin....in Denver:

Can we give this woman the worst stalker of all time award? She's completely drunk/incoherent, and wanders onto the court screaming "Where's Kenyon?!?" despite the fact that Martin hasn't been in a Nuggets uniform in over a year now:

Tonight's Closeout Games:

Magic vs Pacers: Hopefully the Magic will show us mercy and end this series for themselves as soon as possible. Enjoy SVG's last game as a Magic head coach while you can.

Celtics vs Hawks: What's the over/under on Joe Johnson half-assing his way into a 12 point 3 assist game tonight? Brace yourselves for a night of listless performances from all over the league.

1776ers vs Bulls: Man, what a bummer these playoffs have been for Chicago. Of all the series remaining this one still might have some fight left in it.

The only thing that makes me giddy as a Spurs fan is that every time an 8th seed beats a 1st seed in the playoffs, a Texas team has gone on to win the title.

Just sayin'.

Lakers vs Nuggets: Oh Denver, so close to making it 2-2 and keeping it interesting. At least Gallinari's flop is one he can tell his kids about.

Chris's Lacktation Report:

Spurs-Jazz: James Anderson and Patrick Mills had 12 seconds of partying in the Princess's lair as celebratory Mario Twins!

In that same timespan, Blake Ahearn played Taps on Mario Pant. And in
7:03, Enes Kanter pilfered perfection from the field (on one attempt)
with two fouls and a turnover for a 3:2 Voskuhl.

Grizzlies-Clippers: Gilbert Arenas fouled once in 299 seconds for a +1.

Uh Oh, Amare only gets that look when an unsuspecting fire extinguisher is nearby

New York Bricks: Heading into this series, some thought there actually would be a chance at an upset, the Knicks would sneak up on the Heat and possibly take the series in 6.

Granted, all the people who felt that way lived in the Manhattan area, the Knicks got crushed in this series one game after another. An Iman Shumpert injury coupled with Amare doing his best "Dirk vs Exercise Bike" imitation and....well you get the idea.

Speaking of Amare, here's actual footage of what went down the other day:

I just hope Amare has learned his lesson. Fortunately for him, the Knicks have now placed the following instructions on all fire extinguishers within a 1000 mile radius:

As for Game 3, the Knicks were in good shape through halftime, hanging onto a 4 point lead despite no Amare or Shumpert. LeCrab even found himself in foul trouble (for like the first time ever) as he was mostly MIA in the third quarter (as oppose to the fourth, which is the norm).

But then Monsieur Wade happened, the Heat regained the lead and never looked back.

Wade played the entire third quarter and went off for 12 points.

That wasn't the scary part. A well rested Lebron came back for the fourth period and ripped the Knicks a new one with 17 points in the period alone as the lead ballooned to as much as 20.

"He was in foul trouble," Bosh said. "He was struggling a little bit and
he had pretty much the whole third quarter to think about what was
going on. It wasn't as much time for him to think as this past summer, but I think that was good for him. I think it really built a
desire in him a little bit and then he made sure we got off to a great
start in the fourth quarter which was very important for us."

As for Bosh, he was a question mark for this game due to the birth of his son, but ended up starting anyway.

While the Heat got stellar performances from their big two, the Knicks got another night at the office from their remaining big two. Melo Yellow and Captain Worst Shot Selection in the NBA JR Smith combined for a whopping 12-41 from the field. Looks like they joined forces to pay tribute to John Starks.

"When you can't score the basketball, that makes the game extremely
hard, no matter how much defense we go down there and play," Anthony
said.

And I agree, but then again I'm not getting paid millions of dollars to do it, unlike some people.

The Bricks have now set an all time NBA record with 13 straight playoff losses (their last win coming against the Craptors). I'd like to let you know that no one in NBA history has come back from an 0-3 deficit.

Look for the Heat to keep it close during Game 4, and then come out of nowhere to break the game open in the fourth. Kinda like Bosh in the gifs below:

_allas Mavericks: In honor of the Heat, it looks like the Mavs are trying to do their best Miami 2007 impression. Which is unfortunate, since Dallas had a pretty brutal showing in the 2007 playoffs anyway.

Speaking of impressions, Durant decided to give a Dirk 2011 performance, as he went 11-15 from the field, and the Thunder just annihilated the Mavs in what Jason Terry referred to as a game which was to be treated like a Game 7.

Yikes.

Dallas got outscored every single quarter in a crucial game, as Dirk sputtered with a 6-15 shooting night. The rest of his supporting cast wasn't so great either:

Shawn Marion: 1-8

Jason Kidd: 4-12

Jason "Turtlehead" Terry: 3-10

Vince Quitter: 2-8

That ladies and gentlemen, is how you manage to shoot 34% from the field as a team, get down by as many as 26 points (encouraging some fans to leave at the start of the fourth quarter) and never have a single lead.

Looking at those shooting performances, it's a miracle they were only down by as many as 26.

Never underestimate the heart of a champion. Especially if that champion has their hearts ripped out in the past offseason by letting current DPOY Chandler walk, and putting all their hopes on one whiny bitch of a point guard in Deron Williams.

Keep up the good work Cubes!

Have I mentioned that no one has come back from an 0-3 deficit? The last time a team was at least able to force a Game 7 in that scenario were the Portland Trailblazers. Their opponent? The Dallas Mavericks.

When looking at the AP quotes from both the Knicks/Mavs, I found these gems:

Tyson Chandler
said. "Obviously no one wants to be in a hole 0-3, you know in the
playoffs especially against a tough team like (Miami), but that's the
way it is and we've got to keep fighting."

"Our mistakes we weren't able to overcome. Their high-level play, we
weren't able to overcome either," Carlisle said. "It's really tough to
go down 0-3. We're going to keep fighting."

So that settles it folks. Anytime I'm about to get crushed in a game of anything, whether it's chess, battleship, or tennis, I'm going to look my opponent straight in the eye and say "I'm going to keep fighting"

And then proceed to weep the rest of my summer away.

Speaking of weeping the summer away, we have to honor the woeful Bobscraps, who magnificently finished the season with the lowest winning percentage in NBA history.

To commemorate the event I thought we should take a look at our Paul Silas yearbook (who resigned as head coach and is now listening to Dashboard Confessional albums with Lamar Odom):

Weekend's Upcoming Games:

FRIDAY:

Hawks vs Celtics: Oh boy, after the hilarious come from behind victory the Celtics had despite no Allen or Rondo, you know this one ought to be a doozy. The Hawks are going to be without Josh Smith and Al Hortford. Let's just pencil this one as 2-1 Celtics.

Bulls vs 1776ers: Still reeling from the Derrick Rose fiasco, we now have a series on our hands. I still think the Bulls can take this series, but do they?

Lakers vs Nuggets: You know, it's funny how the games where Kobe takes less than 15 shots, the Lakers usually win in commanding fashion. Even the games where he shoots 75% from the floor (once a year) and takes 25+ shots, the Lakers kinda just "hang on" for the win. I think Denver takes Game 3, and JaVale Magoo goes from a team that was on pace to be one of the worst of all time to getting his first (and maybe last?) playoff win of the year.

SATURDAY:

Pacers vs Magic: I can promise you that you can find much better things to do on a Saturday night then watch this game. Even bouncing a ball within the walls of your bedroom would lead to more excitement.

But at least we'll get to watch Hedo Turkeyglue in action. Hell, even Stan Van Gundy hates him:

Grizzlies vs Clippers: I don't know if anything can beat the uh...excitement of a 27 point come from behind victory.

But really folks, nothing beats the excitement this kid had for Z-Bo.....or maybe he's just as excited as I am that the Grizz were just 6 points from free hamburgers for the entire arena:

Thunder vs Mavs:

Get ready to see a lot of this from Mark Cuban:

Spurs vs Jazz: Well isn't this matchup exciting? Maybe Utah can keep it interesting and only try to lose by less than 15 points.

As for the Spurs, every year we count them out, yet they refuse to go away and die. As a matter of fact, team officials have already released the official 2025 Spurs Playoff Banner:

SUNDAY:

Bulls vs 1776ers: If you're on the West Coast, I can't see you getting up at 10 AM for this game. if you're on the East Coast and were partying hard the night before, keep sleeping.

Heat vs Knicks: 14 straight playoff losses baby!

Hawks vs Celtics: This just about sums it up for the Hawks.

Lakers vs Nuggets: By the time this game is over, I'm hoping we'll have more to add to the JaVale Magoo scrapbook!

Thunder-Mavs: Nick Collison canceled out three boards in 13:18 with a
brick, a turnover, and three fouls for a 4:3 Voskuhl. Royal Ivey and
Lazar Hayward had matching suck differentials of +1 in 201 seconds, Ivey
via brick from the Majestic Theatre and Hayward via turnover.