In which we discuss happenings -- looney, shitty, funny, sickening, heartwarming or otherwise -- in the Grand and Glorious Sovereign State of Colorado.

This one might actually work out OK. Probably not, but maybe.

Back in 2006, the voters decided to bar same-sex marriage as a matter of state constitutional law. Unlike many other states, though, our gay marriage ban didn't go the extra mile by prohibiting any legal recognition of marriage-like arrangements for same-sex couples.

A civil unions bill is now making its way through the Colorado General Assembly. The bill is a little bit close to my heart since a gay homosexual lawyer from our office is part of a committee that revised the bill. Our guy was assigned to review and recommend changes to the section of the bill governing testimonial privileges for civil union members. But hey, the man's an estate planner,1 which basically means he can't find his own ass with both hands when it comes to statutory drafting and/or interpretation. Thus, his comments and suggested revisions were largely my comments and suggested revisions. Don't tell anybody, though.

The bill breezed through the Democrat-controlled state senate (23-12) on Wednesday, with three Republicans jumping ship and voting in favor.

Now, though, it's on to the Colorado House of Representatives, where Republicans rode the wave of anti-incumbent hysteria to a 33-32 majority during the 2010 election. A one-vote majority doesn't look like much, but it is. That slender majority means that Republicans run the show in all the legislative committees. Bills are, of course, assigned to a committee upon introduction. If the committee decides against sending the bill to the full House for a vote, it dies.

A similar civil union bill got killed in a House committee last year. Apparently, no one seriously expects a different result this time around.

Anyhoo, here's some of the senate hijinks. First up is Sen. Nancy Spence (R-Centennial) speaking for the bill. By way of lulzy contrast, here's some excerpts from the opposing comments of Sens. Scott Renfroe and Kevin Lundberg.

Sen. Lundberg apparently feels that Jesus is a better answer than Senate Bill 2. No word yet on whether Jesus has a better chance of getting voted out of committee than S.B. 2.

1lol estate planners.

__________________"We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." ~ Louis D. Brandeis

They kind of understand it (in an infantile and atarded sort of way, most likely) but don't really give a shit. When the First Amendment starts passing out bribes campaign contributions, then it'll merit some attention. Until then, it's on the Pay-No-Mind list.

__________________"We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." ~ Louis D. Brandeis

Proposed Amendment 64, which proponents have dubbed (somewhat misleadingly) the Regulate Marijuana Like Alcohol Act1 of 2012, is already on the November ballot here in Lolorado. The Marijuana Policy Project is donating $694,000 to the effort.

Fifty-nine percent of Colorado voters shot down a similar proposal in 2006, but more recent polling suggests a shift in attitudes.

1It's actually a proposed amendment to the state constitution rather than a proposed "act," but hey, whatever.

__________________"We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." ~ Louis D. Brandeis

Man, when that last Pope guy was here in Denver--total pain in the ass, our offices got searched by spooks and everything--I must have read this or something, but supposedly, he thought that prairie dogs were actually canine dogs that burrowed and lived underground.

I think about that a lot when I'm looking at prairie dogs. I'm like, "LOLPOPE. Subterranean dogs."

The Colorado House Judiciary Committee voted 6-5 to advance the civil unions bill referenced in the OP! Looks like a done deal at this point, since there's more than enough Republican support in the House and the Governor is already committed to signing the bill.

Big ups to B.J. Nikkel, the lone Republican member of the Judiciary Committee voting to advance the bill. She's not running for reelection and thus doesn't need to worry about appeasing wingnuts.

__________________"We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." ~ Louis D. Brandeis

You should let B.J. Nikkel know that her voting her conscience is appreciated...even though she should have always been doing so.

Ya know, the first time I ever voted was 1988, in Colorado, and there was an initiative on there to ensure Colorado wouldn't recognize the legal gay marriages from other states. 1988! How many times has Colorado put these gay-hate things up for a vote?

The civil unions bill jumped all the right hurdles. It even made it through the House Finance Committee thanks to the vote of our rep, a lolbertarian whackadoo named Don Beezley.

So then, faced with certain knowledge that the bill had more than enough support to pass the full House, had already passed the Senate and had the Governor's full support, what's a Republican Speaker of the House like Frank McNulty to do? Surely he showed some old-time Western U.S. gumption and backbone by letting the bill go to the floor, thereby telling the right wing hate group Focus on the Family that it doesn't own the Colorado Republican Party anymore.

lol of course not. McNulty and Majority Leader Amy Stephens ran out the clock, using procedural machinations to ensure the bill didn't get to the floor before the General Assembly's current session ended.

Fine by me. Coloradans need to know that the state Republican party is in fact still under the control of shitbags like FoF. It'll make taking back the House in November a little easier.

__________________"We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." ~ Louis D. Brandeis

To give you an idea of how much the Colorado House Republican leadership hates the gay homosexuals, here's a complete list of bills that died last night as a result of Rep. McNulty's tactics.

The civil unions bill is on the list, of course, but the interesting part is all the collateral damage. McNulty's "let's take the fuck off and nuke the site from orbit; it's the only way to be sure" approach killed all the other bills on that list.

All but one of the other murdered bills was bipartisan or wholly Republican sponsored. For instance, our Republican state rep. and state senator sponsored a bill that would have reduced criminal sanctions for certain drug offenses and funneled the law enforcement savings into substance abuse treatment. There's a bill that would have included dental services for pregnant women as part of the state's Medicaid program. One bill would have substantially altered state public school disciplinary laws, with the aim of derailing the school-to-prison train. Hell, there's even a "Drill Baby Drill" bill on the list!

All dead, and all because Frank McNulty hates t3h kweersz. A moment of silence, please.

__________________"We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." ~ Louis D. Brandeis

I can't cry too hard over the death of a bill to define bath salts as a controlled substance.

__________________
"freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order."
- Justice Robert Jackson, West Virginia State Board of Ed. v. Barnette

It sounds weird, yeah, but they're not actually bath salts and they're not intended to be. It's just a transparent ruse to legally sell some super-nasty shit, and the 'bath salt' packaging is a total wink-wink thing. They're in these tiny little packets nowhere close to the amount of salts you'd use for a bath, sold in head shops and stuff for like $20 IIRC, and they're some kind of hallucinogen/speed combo, so people who use them tend to go for real straight up violent batshit crazy on them.

I actually heard a little bit about them from my niece because one of my nephews and/or his friends were doing them. But I thought they were adapting household bath salts from what she had said. And I believe my right to a long hot soak is far more sacred than "traditional marriage".

__________________
"freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order."
- Justice Robert Jackson, West Virginia State Board of Ed. v. Barnette

"Bath Salts" are code for a whole host of different not yet illegal drugs sold in head shops. They are a variety of different alkaloid salts labelled "not for human consumption" so they can be sold. Some good, some bad, mostly you have no clue what you are really getting. They are often some sort of bogus speed like Khat or BZP with some sort of eurphoria or hallucinogen producer like TFMPP, which often just makes people feel giggly then vomit.

Edit to Add: the vast majority are artificial and often slight chemical variations of a base molecule, allowing the producers to switch as things are made illegal, because of this there's often little to no good research on them.

The governor, exercising authority conferred in the state constitution, has ordered a special session of the General Assembly to begin on Monday. The legislature is under orders to consider seven subjects on which legislation never came to a floor vote in the House on accounta Frank McNulty's insatiable thirst for Focus on the Family jizz. Among those subjects is civil unions.

__________________"We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." ~ Louis D. Brandeis