Health & Sex

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10 Secrets to a Better Love Life

Too much boredom in your bedroom? Revitalize your sex life with these 10 tips.

WebMD Archive

Try Something New continued...

But both Castleman and Weston recommend resisting the impulse
to play it safe. This can mean all sorts of things -- maybe lingerie, massage,
sex toys and so on -- and trying something new doesn't have to be
outrageous.

"People have a lot of crazy notions about what a sexual
fantasy should be," says Castleman. "They think it must mean S&M or
sex on a Ferris wheel. But there are a lot less wild ways of experimenting with
something new."

Weston agrees. "One small change that can have a big effect
is to interrupt the pattern to how you usually have sex," says Weston.
"If you're usually the shy one who waits for the other person to begin
things, try starting it yourself. Just take a risk, even if it's a little
one."

Don't Ignore Sexual Problems

Sexual problems are a much more open secret now than they once
were. For instance, thanks to the efforts of pharmaceutical companies and late
night comics, there aren't many people left in the country who aren't aware of
medications for erectile
dysfunction.

Of course, that doesn't mean that everyone who needs help is
getting it.

"People who have sexual problems do often shy away from sexuality because
they don't want to face failure," says Weston. "But these problems need
to be addressed head on."

Erectile dysfunction has received the most attention, but there are plenty of
other issues too, such as premature ejaculation, a loss of libido, or difficulty
reaching orgasm caused by medications or medical conditions

Weston reports that women are coming forward in larger numbers
and reporting sexual problems too, such as pain during intercourse or an
inability to orgasm. According to Castleman, many women complain about vaginal
dryness during sex, which can be painful.

"Lubrication is important," says Weston. "Because
in terms of how aroused a person is, lubrication for a woman is the equivalent
of an erection for a man."

Some sexual problems may need medical attention, while others
can be solved by trying different sexual techniques or buying a $5 bottle of
lubricant. But the important thing is not to muddle through with problems that
are making your sex life worse. Don't settle for a mediocre sex life.

And finally, Weston is quick to point out that no matter what
you've heard, drugs for erectile dysfunction do nothing to increase a
person's sex drive.