Looking Back

Raised in an Oregon commune surrounded by hippies helped to mold the character that I would become as an adult, facing a myriad of challenges that would result in disaster as I developed as a human being. Regardless of my set-backs, many core values remained intact as I pressed-on to achieve my personal goals.

Being raised in a rock-and-roll, free-love, pro-high environment helped to mold the person whom I’d become. Even though I’d spent my formulative years in this, “hippie,” environment, I made my decision early in life, that I would be the author of my own life story, so I set out to make my life my own.

I decided early, that the free-love-philosophy was not for me. I had seen first-hand the psychological trauma that came along with this, so-called, “free love,” and discovered that it was not quite as free as its proponents had claimed. So, I decided to save myself for that elusive, “one true love.”

I had (and still have) a huge heart-component and desire to share monogomasly and wholeheartedly with that one special person, who would have the capacity to love me in the same way.

Another influence that I rebelled against was the lack of work ethic that dominated the surroundings of my early rearing years. I thought to myself, “This is not the way that I want to live, nor is it the way that I want my family to live.” I didn’t want my kids to be raised in a lifestyle that was little more than a modern-day, homegrown gypsy.

Drugs were prevalent early in my life, and I admit that I did experiment with different varieties of natural and chemical mood enhancers… enough to realize that my two favorites were Marijuana and LSD. It wasn’t until I actually fell in love and began to start a family with my first, “true love,” that I looked around at all my friends who were actively engaged in utilizing my drugs of choice, and concluded that their lifestyles were incompatible to the lifestyle that I desired to give my new family. So, to better facilitate achieving my goals for our family, I left them behind.

Throughout my adulthood (and even in my youth) I struggled with maintaining a normal body weight. It didn’t take me long, as I started to apply for work in available job markets, to figure out that I got the best job offers, and made better money, when I applied for jobs while I was at a lower body weight. That led to my yo-yo dieting affair that gave way to my, “serial dieting,” (the compulsion to go from one diet to another in an effort to maintain a healthy body weight).

My first wife, I concluded, did love me in much the same way that I loved her, I believed the words that she spoke, we exchanged vows in marriage and started a family. It didn’t take long for me to realize that she was not able to keep the vows, but I attempted to hold the relationship together, with all my might, in an effort to preserve our family unit… to no avail.

When our marriage counselor intimated to me that, “Your only option for saving this marriage, is to open your relationship.” (For those of you who don’t know, “to open your relationship,” means to have an, “open relationship,” which means that you both agree to stay together, sleep together, and agree to have sex with alternate partners, periodically.) In total opposition to what I signed-on for.

Being true to my love-component, I engaged in many activities including counseling others, drug and alcohol counseling, christian ministry, song-writing, and traditional businesses that I would conduct, ususally in conjunction with working a regular day-job. Because of my love-component, my strictest condition would be engaging only in activities that offered win-win alternatives. Some businesses are successful because they prey on the ignorance of others – this was in oposition to my personal ethics. Interestingly enough, my business ventures were normally short-lived due to changes in the business culture or economic environment.

Early business ventures included a musicians’ artist agency, energy-saving business, recording studio, independent record label, independent music review journal, video stores, professional photo labs, the hospitality industry (hotel) and author. By evaluating my peers, I knew that owning your own successful business yielded the greatest possibilities for achieving one’s familial and financial goals.

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