After years of self-depreciation and failed attempts of getting better at life, here I am back on this website like the anime trash I have always been.

My last post was me working on my thesis. Good news is that I graduated last May 2015! Bad news is that until now I'm still unemployed and having a shitty life because:

my grandfather got hospitalized for months and eventually dies

I got kicked out my grandparents' house (where I literally grew up and treasure the most) because of their problematic son aka my uncle

employers are too lazy to train fresh grads and would prefer they know everything like they had 10 years of work experience at school

While I may be unemployed, I just actually started looking for jobs this year since my grandpa left me. It's hard to focus on job hunting and freelance back then because of him. Until I get a job, I am a freelancer which is obviously not enough to feed my starving stomach (unfortunately, my fat stayed very loyal and I'm honestly pissed off).

I feel I'm being out of luck with my applications but I want to keep trying. I have an art blog and now I'm trying to keep up/get better with my illustrations. I'll say in advance that I'm most likely never going back to doing wallpapers and cards however I would be posting fanart(s) as part of my shameless plugging tactics. I kept thinking if I should make a new account but theO is an exception. This website is one of the main reasons why I have the skills I have today and I would love to keep in touch with everyone who's been part of my journey.

The website's look never changed so much which pleases me personally tho as a designer it's pretty disappointing.

Since I don't have a stable job, I'm slaving myself with doing illustrations hoping they could be sold as prints. And speaking of being shameless, might as well start with my links:

Pretty much its been over a year since I said I'll be off this site and contrary to the emo post I had last time, this year I'm doing pretty well. Though I still have some problems here and there, I'm definitely much better compared to my problematic 2013 year.

Currently I'm in my final year of college and I'm doing a packaging design thesis. I'll be presenting on March and if things go good, I'll be able to graduate on May 2015. One year is technically short but a lot of things happened that made me harder, better, faster, stronger. I have a few problems like academics mostly financial stuff but I'm no longer stressing out too much. But I have major acne problems right now thanks to my all-nighter thesis that I'm working on from July to March.

I've been trying to access my account lately but I forgot my password and after a few more tries, I finally logged in! I'm surprised to still be getting some comments, subscribers and messages. Frankly, its one in a million chance that I'll be back to editing. Not with this thesis of mine. Though I would like to take this chance to at least keep in touch with everyone here on other sites. Preferably Tumblr and Viber accounts. I know I'm no good with this but there are times I would randomly ask what's going on with you guys.

I actually feel better if I hear some news from you. Even if its simple like you got a new pet. Or y'all got good grades on a subject you thought you'd fail. Here are my accounts on sites, at least tell me your theO username so know who's who.

After some time of inactivity, I have decided to retire... It's been a fun ride.

I've been a member of this site around February 2010 I think. I never realized I'd be so attached here. Even though I barely talk around with everyone, I'm happy to be have been loved and warmly embraced by the people here. theOtaku is one of the factors that helped me choose the course I'm in right now (Fine Arts). I'm happy to share the love for anime and generally being an otaku which is something I never enjoy much in real life (and I even got bullied for it).

I'm very thankful and I'm actually speechless for this goodbye post I'm doing. I cannot deny the busy college life and the downfall of my mental (and emotional) health these past months. I've always been afraid of this day to come but I know this will happen eventually.

I've been drowning with problems here and there as well and even though I can still think decently, I know I'm near insanity and probably one day I'll decide to do outrageous stuff (like suicide... not likely, but still possibly). I'd like to participate on this year's Secret Santa (as I always do) but I need my Christmas break to think things over and realize more bitter truths of what I might be in the future. I've never been so problematic like this but I know I have to learn how to cope with things by myself. I just hope I won't end up with desperation with all the bad luck I have (confession: I almost got in trouble of getting raped and getting involved in a drug syndicate because of my previous part time job).

Even I can't believe how fucked up my life already is compared to when I started in this site. Somehow, going back here gives me a feeling of relief and safety as if I'm home. It reminds me of how cheerful I was with my dreams back then (I sound like a grandma, sorry~). My old self would probably hate me if she knew my current situation.

When I say I'm attached with this site, I mean it! From simple compliments on my works to random comments and even emotional advice, everyone in this site is my family and I love you all so much. Its sad that some people I used to talk with have deactivated their accounts/no longer active without even saying farewell but as my life go on, I will always carry the good memories I had here. Even if my works aren't that good nor many, I learned a lot and I still apply the lessons even in college.

I hate to go but I have to. I mean, its just easy for me to simply go inactive but at least I want to leave a word to everyone that I'm alright (at least). I feel that its an obligation to let everyone know why I'm no longer online here.

I'm not sure if I can promise that I'll be alright (as I don't see a light of hope yet) still I want to go on. I'm a sentimental person so I assure you guys I won't deactivate. I'm happy to hold a status of Otaku Legend and even though its not special to me anymore, my 3 years here is worth it. I literally can't think of anything more to say.

From the bottom of heart, I owe you guys a million gratitude which I wished I could repay some time in the future. It's been fun and my happiest internet life being here in theOtaku.

I haven't been updating here for a while but I just have vent out my emotions for the past few months.
My grandmother died last July 20 (8 days after my birthday) and until now I'm still not getting over it. Her disappearance made me realiz...

My friend noticed that our faces have become oily these past few months and she told me that stress and lack of sleep causes oiliness. And I know that also triggers pimples.

I tried researching but a lot had usage of certain products that either expensive or not available in my country. So I want to ask you guys if you know natural ways of preventing an oily face (I saw one article about eating bananas) as well as avoiding pimples.

BE MY LIFE SAVER BEFORE I DESTROY MY FAGLY FACE!!!!

[EDIT] OH MY GOD! THE COMMENTS SO FAR SAID THEY CAN'T HELP ME!!!! PLEASE I HOPE SOMEONE WHO KNOWS ABOUT THESE THINGS HELP ME