I know, two hat posts in a row, what can I say -- it must be your lucky day. Besides the one you met me. Which, you better not have washed your hand after we shook! :( But you said you wouldn't. Anyway, the TV hat is a $20 hat that has a clear pocket you put your iPod in and little shades that come down on the sides so you can watch your iPod glare free and walk into poles and manholes and get robbed and stuff. Safe!

Essentially a baseball hat with an extended visor, the TV hat has a pocket at the end of the lid for your portable player. One it's inside, you pull down the black canvas material velcroed under the lid, creating blinders and blocking out the sun. Underneath the lid is a rectangular magnifying glass that flips down that supposedly "enhances" visibility. There are openings for your earphones, too.

Wow, that sounds like something I absolutely, positively must have. Honestly, I'm bored of looking at the real world anyways. It's all ugly people and old people and, sometimes, ugly old people. Bad combo right there. One time an old lady tried talking to me that had a beard and a hair growing out of her nose that was at least an inch long. Not out of the nostril either, the actual top of her nose. I puked in my mouth. I may be going to hell, but I puked in my mouth.