We're covering every night of the Dallas Comedy Festival at the Dallas Comedy House. Here's the report from Wednesday.

Dallas — A dozen stand-up comedians of all shapes, sizes and stripes took the stage Wednesday during the second night of the Dallas Comedy Festival.

The Dallas Comedy House fosters an extremely inclusive environment enabling all comedians to explore their craft, not just Butch Everyman, which was the onstage persona of Lauren Davis. With her blonde locks tucked into a ball cap and an oversized flannel shirt, Davis hopped on stage imitating the stereotypical white male stand-up comedian spewing jokes tinged with misogynist overtones.

After shedding the guise, Davis quipped that the only thing a man can do for her that she can’t do for herself is give her something to live for.

Davis segued into her one-woman improv bit dubbed I’mprov because “who better to play off me than me without the burden of my teammates.” Her scene as a movie star with a servant who’s also her mother and a cameo from Ben Affleck was hysterical.

Photo: Jason Hensel

Dallas Comedy Festival on Wednesday night

TheaterJones will have coverage from every night of the #DCF2015 with standup, improv and sketch shows on the bill all week, highlighted by sets from TJ and Dave and Bangarang! late Friday and Saturday.

Byron Stamps got Wednesday night started with a hilarious bit about having a cappella sex with his wife now that his sister in-law, her husband and child have moved in. Stamps compared the intimacy to Boyz II Men songs, as it’s a lot of whispers, moans and compliments.

After relating some advice his mother gave him, he doubted he’d be able to provide the same to his kids because he grew up in the ’80s when he learned how to “sit and watch TV.”

So, on his death bed, he plans to pull JaQuantavious and Aquafina aside to tell them: “kids, you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have The Facts of Life.” He also plans to thank them for being a friend and explaining to them how he was West Philadelphia born and raised.

It was here that Stamps turned the microphone to the audience to let them finish the verse, and each and every one of them did. These millennials may not know all the words to “God Bless America” or “The Star Spangled Banner,” but do not for one second doubt they haven’t memorized the entire Will Smith catalog.

Katy Evans uproariously related how her mom used this past holiday card insert as a sort of personal ad for her still single 28-year-old daughter, how sweatpants are her favorite hobby and how she mistakenly assumed her vagina could be used as a “get into bed free card.”

While Evans admitted she misses the regular sex a relationship brings, she really misses the anxiety and anticipation each month brings even more.

Nick Sahoyah broke a few gay stereotypes by explaining how much of slob he is. Then he related how a passing trucker yelling an insensitive epithet as he walked hand-in-hand with his boyfriend down a Seattle street was as equally offensive as the high school girls who squealed in delight at witnessing two men holding hands.

Dave Little closed the early show by asking a first-row patron if she’d prefer songs or jokes. When she said jokes, he gave her some grief and then asked again. She mentioned “songs would be nice,” and Little quickly had everyone laughing with his “You’re Still an Asshole” ditty about Prius drivers who recycle, compost and volunteer at the Red Cross and Special Olympics. The veteran Dallas comedian also expertly and hilariously reworded the second verse of “Let’s Go Fly a Kite” into “Crack Habit.”

Omar Nava spun a really funny tale of tattoos being shitty bookmarks from chapters in one’s life, including how his friend Meegan had a “Bang in There” tramp stamp depicting a cat with bangs hanging from a tree branch that she got when everyone was telling her bangs were out of style.

Preston Lacy of the Jackass crew headlined the two late shows Wednesday regaling the audience with tales of debauchery perpetrated by said jackasses. He told of one idea he proposed to have a horse eat an apple from the crack in his very large posterior. The producers thought a pig would be better, and Lacy was surprised when it ended up being more sexual than painful. He was also disappointed that the pig is a bona fide movie star with a union card and more credits than him. He also related one failed idea that included liposuction, a Fry Daddy and a Monte Cristo. Yeah, it’s as disgusting as you’d imagine.

There is one more round of stand-up at #DCF2015 with a late-night show Thursday. But otherwise improv takes over with three shows at 7, 8:30 and 10. A handful of Dallas Comedy House troupes are performing, as well as a silent improv troupe from OKC and a one-man show out of San Diego in the vein of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

TheaterJones will have coverage from every night of the Dallas Comedy Festival. Below are links to previous reviews:

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