THE HUMMERS: MEET THE BAND

Bass:In keeping with the now well established Hummers tradition, Mark Wilder was not a bass player. He played guitar in the previously mentioned "Kids" back in the day (that day being 1982) but there's only room in the Hummers for 2 guitarists, and when we find them we'll let you know. So bass it is, and Wilder has taken to the longer neck and alternate rhythms like Quentin Tarantino directing Uma Thurman in the dance scene from Pulp Fiction. And he seems to be enjoying himself whilst he does it, which is welcome news to the growing army of Hummers freaks - hey, does your website have 90 000 hits? Welcome tothe family Mark.

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Percussion: Jono Seifmann is the nicest man in Rock and Roll according to NewsPoll and the second nicest according to his next door neighbour, who doesn't much care for all the banging. He was so keen to pick up his sticks again he bought a new drum kit before he had even been given the gig. Jono plays what he is told, often in time, and always with a passion not seen since Eric Clapton stole George Harrison's wife. The Hummers wish he would stop breaking drumsticks at rehearsals as the sharp ends can cause fatal injuries, but if it means keeping Ringo Seifmann around then they are prepared to take one for the team.

Vocals: Richard Schall and Greg Warhaftig: Stockbrokers who sing is how Rolling Stone magazine would have described our 2 hunky vocalists if they had any idea who The Hummers were. Schall, a giant in stature and personality, is backing up from his successful world tour as a body double for Murray Wiggle (the Red one) whilst Warhaftig is a musical whore who'll sing with anyone as long as he gets a microphone in his hand, in true Diva style. Fortunately, they sound great together.

Warhaftig, or "Hafty" as he is known to his friends with limited ability at imaginative nicknaming, has been mates with guitarist Rosen since childhood. "Who would have thought that 2 little boys playing under 7 soccer would end up fat, balding and in a rock band in their 50's" he said. Probably everybody is the real answer, since Greg was widely known to sing constantly and loudly in inappropriate places (funerals, university lectures, intimate romantic situations) since those early days.

Richard, or Big Dick as he would like to be known but isn't, was discovered in a house next door to lead guitarist Stanton. His wife foisted him upon the band and since he is quite big and it would make for awkward meetings over the fence if the invitation was refused, they couldn't really say no. Furthermore, he is very good at lifting heavy objects and for a band without a road crew that comes in use. ( any readers who wish to apply for pro bono road crew work with an up and coming Eastern Suburbs rock band please apply to the email address on the home page ).

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Guitars: If John Stanton had his way, The Hummers set list would be Stones, Oils, more Stones, a Queen song and then some Rolling Stones. Actually it kind of is, which is a testament to his enormous influence in the creative direction of this ragtag band of Rock and Roll rejects. He traces his early influence to the Blues and can count to 12 faster than most people can say "it's your solo mate" in Swahili. John can actually play the guitar and many of you will remember the popular 80's group "The Kids" and those of you who don't, just listen to The Hummers and you'll hear pretty much the same songs, since Stanton already knows how to play them. John knows how to fix things and plays a solo better than anyone else in the Hummers. He also built our first studio saving us a fortune in rehearsal space fees!

"I make a great gynaecologist for a guitarist" said David Rosen humbly in a recent interview on James Valentines popular and now much higher rating Sydney Radio afternoon programme. This is perhaps the first, and possibly only time such sentiments will be expressed on radio if indeed anywhere at all. Like his friend and musical collaborator John Stanton, Rosen has parlayed his enormous after tax wealth into the purchase of expensive and very shiny guitars, effects pedals and amplifiers. "It's cheaper than a red convertible" he said recently getting out of his silver convertible, " and I feel if there is music being played constantly around the house the children will develop a love and appreciation for it". None of his children love or appreciate his music. His wife wishes he would love and appreciate something other than his music. He is just a man with a dream. And nice guitars.