About Julie…

Tell us a little bit about you!

I’m Julie, I’m 32 years old, I was on Season 2 of The Virgin Diaries, and I’m almost finished with a movie I made about waiting until marriage called Geek Loves Punk. It’s an independent comedy. I’m currently running a Kickstarter Campaign to finish it.

When did you decide to wait until marriage?

I decided to wait until marriage when I was about 12 or 13 years old. I felt a calling through my faith to wait.

Do you think waiting is harder for gay people than for straights? Have you ever felt double-stigmatized?

Um…yes. (lol). I think the human logistical aspects of waiting are equally hard whether you’re gay or straight. However, it’s harder for gays because we are already a minorty (10% of the population). So, being a waiter makes me even more of a minority. But, I’m delighted and excited about seeing more LGBTQ waiters coming out. I’ve seen some on youtube and I’m on a LGBTQ waiter support group on facebook. So, it’s cool to see that there is a good group of us around.I definitely feel double stigmatized because the gay community is a community that identifies itself by it’s sexuality. So, if I’m not expressing my sexuality in a way that makes sense to some gay people, it makes them feel uncomfortable. Especially, out here in the Bay Area which is super liberal. Folks usually don’t comprehend why someone would be abstinent. So, I usually don’t mention that I’m abstinent unless I know the person really well.A month after The Virgin Diaries aired, I went to the Oakland Gay Pride Festival and was recognized 5 times; all super friendly and really nice. It made me happy that the gay community was so supportive of me and my own personal journey.

Are Waiting Until Marriage folks the coolest people ever?

Um….YES!!! I love this website. I love the community that has formed here. Folks just are the coolest people ever. I think if you’re a waiter, it’s important to be a well-rounded person who is relatable. What can I say? The folks on this website are a bunch or good-looking, super cute, very awesome folks. Seriously, we, waiters, are amazing!

About her movie…

Tell us more about the movie you’re making. What’s it about? What’s the theme? What’s the plot? Who’s in it?

The movie I made is called Geek Loves Punk. It’s the story of a religious, geeky, virgin who falls for an agnostic, promiscuous, punk. It’s about the ups and downs they face as they date. There is also a fun array of friends who provide comic relief throughout the movie. The theme of the movie is that sexuality is supposed to have meaning; it’s supposed to be poetic; it’s ideally supposed to be an expression of love.The movie features Maria Skorobogatov who was in the Oscar award-winning Silence of the Lambs, Celeste Martinez who was on a cell phone commercial on television, Orlando Mendoza who was on a billboard for a San Francisco advertisement, Eugene Canotal who was in a car commercial on television. I also do some acting in the movie.

Did you already have a background in filmmaking, or have you enlisted some people to help you out?

Both (lol). I have a B.A. in English from Virginia Commonwealth University. I’ve placed in two screenwriting competitions; one in high school; the other called Scriptapalooza. I joined an independent film co-op out here in San Francisco, California called Scary Cow. It’s through this co-op I was able to make my film. Movies require a lot of resources and I was able to find those resources through Scary Cow.

What’s something cool that’s in the movie but not shown in the trailer?

Hmmm, well, the scene in the trailer is super funny and most people like it. But, believe it or not; that’s not even the funniest scene in the movie. There’s actually tons of good humor and jokes running throughout the movie. What you see in the trailer is just a tiny drop in an ocean of humor that’s in the movie.

Anything else you’d like to add?

This movie makes people who are waiting till marriage look cool. I’ve had a number of folks (who are not waiting until marriage) tell me that they loved how sexuality was portrayed in the film and loved the depiction of waiting until marriage in the film.

On her appearance on The Virgin Diaries…

What was your favorite part of that experience?

My favorite part of the experience was the aspect of telling my friends that I was a virgin. It was cathartic. I was afraid of being judged or misunderstood for being a virgin. But, (mostly) everyone was super supportive. Honestly, I think the fact that I did it through a reality show is what helped folks be even more supportive.

Do you feel like you were portrayed accurately? Were there any editing decisions that you’re still a little peeved about?

Well, I was fine with how I was portrayed because I knew how I was going to be portrayed. I signed a waiver with the production company that said I couldn’t talk about how the show was produced. However, I can say that the producers told me exactly what each scene was going to be. So, I had no surprises. They wanted to show me as adorable, sweet, geeky and a virgin. Which is how I came across. So, I was fine with how I was portrayed.I didn’t get “peeved” at any of the parts of the show. However, I did have some things I wish I could’ve tweeked.The part that made me feel a little exploited was when they asked me to play with my lightsaber in my apartment, because it made me feel like they were potentially mocking me i.e “look at the dork playing with her lightsaber in her apartment”. But, in all fairness, I do think lightsabers and Star Wars is cool (lol).

I wish that TLC had wanted to use the series as a way to say something thoughtful about sexuality/abstinence/virginity in general. However, they prefered to make a lighthearted, comical view of adult virgins.

Also, I do wish the show had more explicitly said that I was a virgin who was waiting until marriage. A few of my friends thought I was arbitrarily a virgin and didn’t realize I had chosen to wait.

Finally, I talked about my movie in every single interview for the show. I even wore a Geek Loves Punk t-shirt for dodgeball. The t-shirt made it into the show. But, nothing about my movie made it on the show. I really wished something about my movie would have made it into the show. I was trying to promote my movie through doing the show.

I will say the producers were all super kind to me, overall. They were open to suggestions about the storyline and actually used some of my suggestions. They did some reshoots which means I got a little bit more compensation for the reshoots (which was great). They told me that they all found me really adorable (most of them were straight women.) One producer told me that I would have hundreds of women after the show aired. That didn’t exactly happen (lol), but that’s ok.

What kind of other waiters-till-marriage did you meet on TV?

I didn’t meet any waiters in person after the show. But, I did become facebook friends with one of my co-stars. She’s amazing! She’s super sweet and kind. I do consider her a friend. I found this website which has been an amazing resource of support. I love how diverse this website is. Finally, Mike, you are one of the coolest dudes I know. Really, you are. I consider you a kindred spirit.

What has been the aftermath of your brush with celebrity?

The aftermath is that I am so much more confident in who I am after doing the show. It truly changed my life for the better.Also, a few months after the airing, I got recognized by a heterosexual couple. They were super happy to meet me because it was as if they had met a celebrity. Another woman recognized me that same night and was super nice and jokingly asked for my autograph.About a year after the show aired, I got recognized by a guy who works a few blocks from my home. He asked to take a selfie with me. That was cool.

These are examples of strangers being super kind and rooting for me; which is great.

People who recognize me always ask me the same question with the same look of curiosity and care on their faces. They ask, “So…how are you doing?” and then, they pause. Essentially, they are asking me, “Have you had sex yet?” (lol). These strangers want me to be happy. It’s super sweet.

Overall, do you think The Virgin Diaries is a bad thing or a good thing for those who wait?

Great question! I don’t think it’s an amazing thing and I don’t think it’s a horrible thing either. I think it was a light hearted comedic show about adult virgins. I can understand if virgins or abstinent folks would find the series to be exploitive because the producers were mainly going for humor rather than substance with the show.I found the experience of making the show to be positive. I thought the actual show that aired was fine.I do think it’s important for virgins and waiters to help create their own entertainment from their own perspective which is why I made my movie.

Anything else you’d like to add?

I do think that waiting until marriage is a good thing. I don’t really talk about it much in my real life. So, I’m glad I have this website to discuss it. I know it’s not always easy. But, I would like encourage and pat folks on the back for choosing to wait.Also, please support me and help me finish my film and tell everyone you know about my movie project. Here’s the link to my Kickstarter campaign.

Mike handles all of the programming and design work for WTM.org.
Although he still writes the occasional article,
he spends most of his time these days creating new site features and keeping everything organized.
Mike is web software developer by day, and is in school to become a psychologist.
In his free time Mike enjoys running, biking, and movies.

WaitingTillMarriage.org is a support group for people
who are waiting until marriage to have sex. All content is
written, developed, and maintained by people who are waiting (or who waited and then got married).
We're here to meet new friends and make life easier for those who wait.