Dekoh's amputation due to osteosarcoma journey

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!! This would have been your 10th birthday today and it was a great day for you as I know you are at the bridge playing with everybody, what a great day.

I thought I would go to our most favorite area today and visit you where I spread some of your ashes, which I know you know but just saying. Anyway it was a nice day and was great to see your area again. I really miss you every single day of my life, I see you walking with me still. I can sit here telling you how much I miss and love you but I know you already know that. I just want you to know that you will never be forgotten.

I want to give you a little video I made while I was sitting next to your ash grave, I know you were watching me today while I was hiking but I just want you to have this video to watch when you want. I am really trying to get past so I can move on with life but it has been really hard to do that. I know you want me to move on and I know you are watching over me as we will be together one day.

Today is your one year angelversary and I wanted to sit down to write you my thoughts to let you know you are on my mind every minute of every day. I still cannot believe it has been one year today you went to the Rainbow Bridge. I started to collect pictures from your life to create a slide show of your life which I have not completed it yet and I will, but as I look over all of the pictures I have taken of you it seems like just yesterday you came home as a little ball of fur. Time just went way too fast.

As I sit here thinking of what to write to you I can only think of all the great times we had during your time on this earth. This past year has been a roller coaster of emotions and thoughts of you for me but please know that the thoughts of you is what gets me through the day. I look back on the many things we experienced together when you were by my side and every experience was a great memory. When I take my walks in the neighborhood I think of you running and playing ahead of me looking for the next child to play with or just trying to find that rabbit to chase. This past Halloween was extremely hard for me as this was the first time in many years I did not have you here to dress up in a new outfit to show you off to the world, which I know you only put up with it just for me and I greatly appreciated it.

I know that if you could talk to me you would tell me that I need to move on but it has been very difficult for me to move on knowing how much you were a part of my life in everyday happenings. I miss waking up in the morning and seeing you lay on your bed looking at me just waiting for me to move around so we can start a new day, which you were always happy to see a new day even up to the last day on this earth. I miss having you go out to the front lawn to get the newspaper as you so enjoyed especially when it had snowed. I miss making your breakfast and sitting there eating my cereal know the day is just getting started. I miss having you with me on my walks and there are some days I just do not feel like walking but I know you are touching me on my shoulder to say “come on grab my collar and let’s go walking” so I pull myself up and keep going.

I have decided not to be at the house tonight as it will bring some extreme emotions out knowing that you were laying on your bed in such great spirits not knowing that day was your last day with me, but I know you are no longer in any pain. I want you to know that I am not running away but only that I need that space to help cope with the emptiness I have in my heart. I know that people say it gets easier as time passes but I have to say it does not. I am always thinking of you as well your two brothers, Zieg and Toby, playing together and having a great time. As you already know your sister, Zoya, joined you this year to frolic in the tall grass and swim in all the ponds you want. I know that Zoya’s pawrents miss her very much just like I miss you.

I want you to know that you will never be forgotten no matter how many days, months, years go by you are always in my heart.

Today is a day that will never become easy for me, but knowing that you are up there looking down on me helps me make it through each day. I love and miss you, Zieg and Toby very much. I know you guys are waiting up there for me to come join you and one day we will be back together.

One year ago today we started our tripawd journey together. I woke up this morning remembering what was going through my mind concerning the decision to help you feel better and hoping you would still be with this time this year. I have cried tears of sadness and joy for you over this past year. I miss you each and every day no matter what is happening and only wish you were still here with, although I know you are here in my heart.

I miss and love you everyday. I know we will be together again one day as you wait for me up there.

Today would have been your 9th birthday and I wanted to tell you happy birthday.

I told myself that I needed to take today off from work to spend time with you in my heart and just hang out. I was going to go over to the Audubon and walk it 9 times but Mom came up with a much better idea. I chose 9 different places that were our favorite places to go to and most likely would have been where we went today had you been here with me. I know you were there with me at every stop and every step I took, telling me you were ready to go. I knew today would be a hard day for me as really everyday has been hard for me realizing you were not going to come running out from behind that one tree or running over to chase that rabbit that caught your eye. I will say that I went to our most favorite place down at the Deer Creek camp in the Mt Evans wilderness area and what did I get to see, a squirrel running up a tree. I ran over to chase that squirrel up the tree for you as I knew you were right there by my side the whole way.

I want to post some pictures I took at each stop so you can see them, even though I know you were there with me for every step I took. I want to tell you the folks at WagNWash and CRCG (pool) told me to tell you hi as they miss you very much too. I had to get a picture of Kat at WagNWash since I know you loved to torment the cats there especially Kat.

I miss you every day and so much wish you were still here with us, but I know you are with me every day looking down on me to make sure I stay safe. I hope you had a great day at the Rainbow Bridge playing with your brothers Zieg and Toby as well as your girl Kaya.

Love

Dad

This is a picture of me walking in our neighborhood, which I know you soooooo loved to do. Stop #1.

I know you will recognize this as the Audubon. Stop #2.

As you know this is probably our most favorite spot being the Mt Evans wilderness area. We so loved to camp and we did so much hiking here it was a great time. Stop #3

I knew you would enjoy seeing all of this snow and powder that you could have run in. What a great time. Mt. Evans wilderness picture #2 for stop #3.

I know this may not have been you favorite spot but we spent so much time at DCAH it was your second home. Stop #4.

I know you loved to go to PetSmart to torment the cats in the back as well the little birdies. Stop #5.

I know you did not always enjoy getting baths but I know you enjoyed the things we did after like getting a bone to chew on. Stop #6

I just had to post Kat for you to torment :>). Stop #6

We are at your top spot at CRCG. Stop #7

Yep, here is your pool that you soooo loved to go to. Stop #7.

This is out back at Murdoch’s as I knew we had to go here to chase some rabbits. Stop #8

The last stop of the day was at the Chatfield dog park. We spent so many days here walking and just hanging out. Great times. Stop #9.

I wanted to say Merry Christmas to you and that we miss you very very much. We will always love you and cherish all of the Christmas mornings we spent together tearing apart wrapping paper. I hope you are having a great time at the Rainbow Bridge with Zieg and Toby opening up your presents and ripping the paper apart.