I Write for…

My niece. She’s not old enough to read my work. (And if my sister reads this, don’t ever let her read a few of them!) She may never actually read my work, and I’m entirely ok with that. But I write for my niece anyway.

I remember reading when I was a wee bite sized person and clearly I could never be any of those book people. I mean obviously. They were mostly men. They were brash and ballsey (again, dudes). They were adventurous. They had all the money. They were always talking to people and conning people (or being charming). I don’t…do those things. I’m not a fancy talker. I’m not good with people. I’m not outgoing. I’m not charging forward into anything. I’ve got brain stuff. I’ve got other stuff… and mostly I’m…not a protagonist.

My niece has a lot of that, and she’s not white. At least some of the book people looked vaguely like me, prettier sure, but still.

I want her to never experience running out of books in the library and still feeling like there is no place for her. I don’t want her to feel like she’s read everything she’d like and no one like her exists in the world. I never want her to think she can’t do cool things because the cool things in books always happen to other people, to the main characters and if she’s really lucky she’d be a side character.

It is deeply selfish. But that’s why I write.

That doesn’t mean all my MCs look like her, but some of them sure do. (I want other people’s nieces to have good experiences too.) They aren’t always the most adventurous person in the book. Sometimes they are deeply concerned about people around them. Sometimes they are a little too self-centered. Sometimes they are quiet. Sometimes they are loud and unheard.

But every single time, they are because I want her to feel like there is a place for her in the world. That the world wants and needs her in it. Each word I put down I want to try to make sure that there is a chair pulled up to the table for her. I never want her to have a Christmas without a present. I never want her to feel like she isn’t deeply loved and wanted in the world.

I hope that helps not just her, but others in the world as well, feel like there is space for them. I want to keep pulling chairs up to the table until everyone has one. The table is more than large enough. There’s always enough food.

So for my wonderful and amazing niece, I will do everything I can to make sure there is always a chair for you.

(Side note? I have a nephew too. He’s going to be just fine I’m pretty sure. He’s all the outgoing and charming and adventurous and brash and every single other thing. I hope that the world is better for him too, I hope he sees himself in many things. But I think he’ll be just fine. )

Me too. I want to be the tiniest drop in a torrent of diverse voices. I want everyone to feel like they can see something. But I’ll admit it makes it easier to keep going when I think of her and even little me. 🙂