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There has been a recent rash of disappearances across the world. Young women disappearing from nightclubs. Why haven't you heard of this? The mainstream media has apparently been covering it up for "our own protection" and to "avoid panic". Who are they actually protecting? Certainly not us! Don't believe me? I have proof:

This is the insidious "Flashlight of Lust", a device that renders the female gender totally helpless. From security footage I was able to recover, watch this dangerous tool in use:

WHAT WAS THAT THING? It is one of a black-ops secret bio-engineering experiment for the new super-solder, a Fork-tongued Gerbilman. By disclosing this, I've become a hunted man. Now YOU know. Beware, they're always watching, they may be hunting you!!

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The "Why Can't I Connect?" Android app is available at Google play and the Amazon Appstore.

You've stopped for a cup of coffee or you've checked into a hotel. You've connected to their WiFi but you can't get any web sites to display. The hotel gave you a password but you never see a place to enter it. This simple application will usually fix the problem. Start it up and press the button.

The "Initiate WiFi Login" Android app is available at Google play and the Amazon Appstore.