four legs good, two legs bad

i empathize with the note-leaver here, but after reading apt. 10’s response, i can’t help but side with the defendant– especially after melissa in omaha revealed that this particular neighbor posts notes like this quite frequently. because really, that shit is disrespectful.

I like how a short child turns the parent into a Lazy Filth Pig. And I totally forgive Apartment number 10’s spelling errors because other than the “balls” comment and the post script, her response was shockingly classy.

I am neither of these note-leavers, but I have a question as an unfortunate with asshole neighbors – just how, exactly, other than notes, is a lone female dweller supposed to approach a large, stupid, inconsiderate and obviously volatile male (i.e. one that talks about ‘growing balls’ and ‘saying it to my face’?) Passive aggressive nonwithstanding, no girl needs this kind of encounter.

How does posting “growing balls” or “saying it to my face” make someone a volatile male? Unless you know that the guy is going to blow up in your face or have proof of his temper give him the benefit of the doubt. As a short female, if someone wrote a note like that beginning with the words filthy pig I would write that they should “grow some balls and speak to me directly” but would add the modifier ” rather than engaging in passive agressive junior high note writing.” I would think that if anyone is dangerous its the person who starts a note “filthy pig” – that person clearly likes to stir drama up and I would wonder if they engage in face to face behavior in a similar way to their note writing.

As a female whose lives in an apartment I would say that if you have a problem with a neighbor you knock on the door. If the large guy yells at you, threatens you, or proves himself volatile THEN the next time something happens you contact the apartment managers (or police or whoever) and stay on their ass until something gets done about other tenant behavior.

These are both my neighbors-the writer (whom I suspect is either the woman across the hall or the women below her) was addressing the family in #10 who have 2 boys (one who is 2 and one who is about 10) and the responder’s spelling pretty much tells just how uneducated she is. She yells at both of her children with such colorful language that I hate having my windows open because my own son is at that stage where he repeats what he hears.

How lucky for you, Mary, that you live in a safe city (suburb?) where you can knock on the doors of virtual strangers and not worry about the safety of your person as a lone female. It must be a wonderful, freeing feeling!

Niki-
let’s see – I’ve lived in multiple cities in multiple states in multiple places some safe, some not so safe so your passive aggressive put-down doesn’t fly with me.

Just off the top of my head as far as not “safe cities” goes I’ve lived in East San Jose (yeah San Jose it’s a suburb type city but I dare you to walk around the Story and King intersection at night) and a not so safe area in Boston (where I had the lovely experience of stepping over some drunk on the sidewalk while going into the store only to find out that he was actually dead 20 mintues later when someone finally tried to rouse him [sad thing was I think he was there for at least an hour before someone cared enough to try to wake him]). Oh yeah, once I lived around the corner from a methadone clinic where every morning around 6:30 there was a line of smokers waiting for their fix. Even in the rural areas where I grew up there are the bikers next door (many of whom are quiet nice guys when not drunk, the trick is to know when to talk to them).

As a single woman in the city you can’t be stupid, but you also can’t be unreasonably afraid of people.

Yeah, if your neighbor is drunk all the time, pees in the hallway, deals out of his apartment, and has his gangbanger friends over – don’t confront him (or learn to do it nicely when he seems in a good mood [sometimes it can work, not all gang members are violent thugs]). If he seems like an average joe then give him the benefit of the doubt when trying to solve issues (of course don’t walk into a stranger’s apartment, even a female stranger’s apartment).

If you truely can’t handle talking to the people who live in the same building as you then complain to the apartment manager.

In the case of this note exchange, given the new info and ongoing dispute I agree with joebec that the apartment management needs to earn their salary.

I always seem to move/live above people who create methlabs :( /sidenote sparked by Mary’s comment

My roomie and I were scared to knock on the guy that lives below us now because we thought he’d be a huge, scary, violent dude (judging from his yelling, swearing, and throwing things around all the time). When we finally did knock, he turned out to be a really short, skinny, nerdy guy. LOL. I just went to knock on his door about 15 minutes ago for the noise.

I live in a big city and it truly can be a frightening thought. Telling management is sometimes the best bet.

Chastising neighbors can be a mixed bag. I innocently asked an apartment neighbor not to cut a bush in front of my porch and he called the cops on me saying I was yelling and threatening him. He later made my life a living hell, vandalizing my car, vandalizing the inside of my apartment screen door, standing under my window after midnight “cutting bushes”. He was a total total FREAK!!! So I no longer say anything to people. I just write lengthy passive aggressive entries in my blog. YAY!!!

Anonymous notes are totally OK in the case of apartment dwellers dealing with a slob whose mess spills into communal areas. No way is anyone going to want to have a face-to-face with some scary ghetto slob who can’t spell or supervise their children and seems to be ready for a fight. Who wants to start a vendetta with a psycho that you gotta live with? Anonymous notes all the way. They get the job done and keep your ass safe. Apt. 10 will be more careful with the trash in the future, wondering which of her neighbors wrote that note.

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