Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Your Tax Dollars At Work

A Homeland Security database of vulnerable terror targets in the United States, which includes an insect zoo but not the Statue of Liberty, is too flawed to determine allocation of federal security funds, the department's internal watchdog found.Much of the study by Homeland Security Inspector General Richard Skinner appears to have been done before the department announced in May it would cut security grants to New York and Washington by 40 percent this year.

The report, which was released Tuesday, affirmed the fury of those two cities -- the two targets of the September 11, 2001, attacks -- which claimed the department did not accurately assess their risks.

Instead, the department's database of vulnerable critical infrastructure and key resources included an insect zoo, a bourbon festival, a bean fest and a kangaroo conservation center. They represent examples of key assets identified in Florida, Illinois, Indiana, and Maryland.I think people are over-reacting.Frankly, I'm surprised that the insect zoo isn't a more high-profile target, and if I was part of the Department of Homeland Security, I'd market the hell out of this angle -- send brochures to shadowy training camps in Afghanistan touting the zoo's pivotal role in America's psyche, interview a few entomologists about the veneration Americans have for dung beetles and cockroaches, and send the video off to Osama U., etc.

Look, people pay Orkin to take care of this kind of thing, and here we have a perfect opportunity to have it done for free. Terrorists are perfect for pest control, and the thought of a car bomb taking out potentially billions of nasty critters ought to be lauded and supported. Sure, the Pest Control lobby in D.C. will probably be upset, but isn't it about time we took these crucial functions away from the so-called "experts" and gave them back to people with passion and ingenuity?

And take out the bean fest, too, while we're at it. Those farmers are probably growing soybeans, which somehow end up in things that are creatively described as "burgers," and which I am forced to eat. Damn vegetarians.

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About Me

Successfully disguised as a suburbanite. One wife, Kate, of indeterminate age, two daughters, Katryn, 24, a first-year grad student at Rutgers University, and Rachel, 21, a senior at Ohio University.
I'm 54, still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I write techie books and develop IT marketing materials for one of my paychecks. I love music, literature, and films. I write a lot, for Paste Magazine, for All Music Guide (allmusic.com), for Christianity Today Magazine, for Image Journal. Sometimes I speak about music on college campuses and at Arts conferences. I love Jesus, sometimes not all that well, but I struggle with the way that is expressed in most American churches. Then again, I struggle with the way I express my faith as well. I'm holding out for grace and forgiveness. Without it, I'm in trouble.
I could not care less about fertilizer or lawn care, but I can discuss the merits of Ortho Weed 'n Feed vs. Scott's Turbuilder in a pinch. This is what comes of living in suburbia.