Yesterday, the Aicardi Syndrome Foundation fundraiser crossed the $10,000 line, with twelve days left to go. I admit, I’m wincing a little in anticipation of all the poses yet to do, but mostly I’m just amazed and grateful and stunned and happy. Thank you all! I’m working on details of the $10,000 goal, and will post that as soon as things are finalized.

Yesterday also saw the end of the first Jim Hines vs. John Scalzi pose-off, in which Mister Scalzi SHAMELESSLY tried to buy people’s votes by offering to donate more money to ASF. The NERVE of that guy! I’m happy to say I still won the pose-off, with 54% of the roughly 6500 votes. Here in the U.S., we call that a MANDATE! Score one for democracy

I considered challenging him to do the cover of his own book The God Engines[Amazon | B&N | Mysterious Galaxy], mostly for the amusement factor. Then I thought about pulling something off of Escher Girls, like maybe this illustration of Wonder Woman. And then I found myself looking at some anime covers that made the Wonder Woman illustration look positively tame.

Then I realized my brain was still pudding after hitting $10,000, and that I clearly needed help. So I turn to you for help, oh Internet!

WHAT COVER SHOULD WE INFLICT UPON MISTER SCALZI? And also myself, since we’ll both be doing this one. Leave your suggestion in the comments, and if yours is chosen, I’ll send you an autographed copy of the Heroes in Training[Amazon | B&N | Mysterious Galaxy] anthology I edited a few years back.

(I may also steal a few suggestions for the other cover poses I need to do. If I choose your idea for one of those, I’ll send you my undying gratitude!)

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And in other awesome charity news, Peter Brett is once again organizing a Dungeons & Dragons game at ConFusion with me, Saladin Ahmed, Myke Cole, Pat Rothfuss, Mary Robinette Kowal, Diana Rowland, and Sam Sykes. And he’s auctioning off one additional spot in the game, with the proceeds going to Worldbuilders for Heifers International.

Seeing men re-create almost any of the old “Red Sonja” cover art would be interesting to say the least. (Okay, I really just want to see Scalzi in a chainmaille bikini. He could add jingle bells to make it Christmas-y. 😛 )

Looking for covers was surprisingly fun, and testing them for difficulty was even more enjoyable. My shortlist was around 10-12 books long, and I’ve cut it down to the four that caused the greatest discomfort:

After all that I feel incredibly well stretched out now, I normally have at least moderate backpain, but now I’m down to a dull ache from all the twisting and turning, so thanks Jim for providing me with some fast and effective pain relief.

ULTRAGOTHADec 19, 2012 @ 19:08:02

How about the *back* cover of Captain Vorpatril’s Alliance? Which has not only odd contortions (where is that leg coming from?) but gratuitous undress. None of which has anything to do with what happens in the book.

Added bonus, you two could get your wives involved sitting there in place of Ivan. Paint one of the kids blue.

Of these, I think Crossed might require the most balance since she’s on the tips of her toes, basically, and then there’s the added coolness of miming being in the sphere.

Good luck, and may the chiropractors be with you.
🙂

BethDec 20, 2012 @ 04:48:46

Good call on Tangled Threads there Zhi Zhu! I don’t think I’ve seen a purer example of the execrable way women in urban fantasy are sexualized and de-personalized. I mean at least most give you a decent face while contorting their heroine into a Gumby-esque shape to simultaneously display their tits and ass (with a preference for some good leg, shoulder, and cleavage views mixed in too).

*Sorry for double-posting. The original decided to go in-line rather than as a reply*

I think the victor should then raise a statue of you in your memory, in the pose that killed you.

But in that case, I offer you this, which is probably wouldn’t prove fatal although I’ve just tried it and though it looks simple it really isn’t possible and it hurts. Her knees would have to be at completely different levels.

It’s particularly annoying because 1) it’s Adi Granov and WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ADI GRANOV, YOU DID IRON MAN EXTREMIS, I ONLY WANT TO LOVE YOU. 2) INSIDE the book, Wanda is warm, comfortable and attractive in a lovely coat and trousers, 3) Also inside the book, she is DOING THINGS, like trying to pay her respects to Charles Xavier, getting into a fight with Rogue, and then getting seriously injured by unexpected mutant kidnappers. Any of which you’d think might inspire a great piece of art from an artist who’s so good at painting gorgeous people doing interesting things, but, oh, no. Wanda’ll just be kneeling, pouting and grabbing her boob today.