Joseph M. Velardo really, really, really didn't want to go to law school so he concocted a brilliant plan to make sure that he couldn't go:

Police learned that after entering the store, Velardo tried to take a display computer, activating an alarm. He told an employee he was attempting to unplug the machine and asked whether any similar computers were in stock. Told there were no more in stock, Velardo reportedly walked out with two computer batteries.

"The suspect then came back inside the store and told the employees what he had done and told them to call the police," the report states. "He stated that he stole the merchandise because he wanted a (third) degree felony on his record so he would not be allowed to go to law school."

But alas, the plan backfired:

The items were valued at $276.88. Because the amount was less than $300, the incident is a misdemeanor, a police spokesman said.

Forget jail, the appropriate punishment in this case is, of course, to send him to law school (or more likely, a mental institution): Link

Oh, wow, his parents must be clones of mine. Seriously, there was a time in my life when committing a felony would've seemed less awful than having to stand up to my dad. I am rather ashamed to say that I was in my mid 20s before something like this wouldn't have seemed at least understandable, if not actually a good idea.