IMPEACHED!

The Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology said the quake’s epicenter was 17.6 km northeast of Manila, and was political in origin.

Intensity 46 was felt by the opposition bloc. Although there were no immediate reports of damage to properties, one casualty was reported. Authorities identified her as Merceditas Navarro Gutierrez, the incumbent Ombudsman of the Philippine government.

Sources say the influential religious sect Iglesia ni Cristo with the help of lawmakers loyal to the previous administration tried but failed to stop the quake from happening. The tsunami of expected support for Gutierrez fizzled out.

Aftershocks are expected to be felt in the Senate when session resumes in May. The public is advised to prepare and remain vigilant.

A similar tremor has rocked Gutierrez in 2009. However, the pro-Arroyo bloc in the Lower House was able to rescue her. She survived the quake unscathed. At press time, her camp has yet to issue a statement. (With a report from USGS)

This just in!
Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez finally broke her silence after the House of Representatives voted to impeach her. The Professional Heckler was granted an exclusive! But there’s a catch! OMG requested that she be interviewed by someone close to her. So friends, here’s the transcript of a yet to be aired one-on-one conversation between Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez and former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo!

OMG Impeached
Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez has been impeached by the House of Representatives. Relatives have prevented her from visiting deceased loved ones in the cemetery.

The House of Representatives has voted to impeach Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez. This by far is the biggest accomplishment of Malacañang.

According to Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile, senators sitting as judge in the impeachment court will vote “according to their conscience,” to which ‘conscience’ said, “Hay salamat, for the first time, magagamit rin kami.”

Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez will be tried in the Senate probably in May. Asked about his expectations on the impeachment trial, Sen. Lito Lapid said, “Depende. Depende sa laman ng second envelope.”

The Arroyos
During the counting of votes at the House of Representatives Tuesday night, former President and now, Pampanga Rep. Gloria Macapagal Arroyo was caught by TV cameras talking on the phone. Unconfirmed reports say, she was overheard saying, “’Yong dagdag! ‘Yong dagdag sa NO votes, ‘asan na?!”

Defending his NO vote, party-list Rep. Mikey Arroyo spoke on the floor and called on President Noynoy Aquino to assist beleaguered OFWs, and lower the prices of basic commodities. Watching at home, Merci Gutierrez was like, “And you expect me to thank you with that defense?”

Cong. Manny Pacquiao was apparently watching TV when the House of Representatives voted to impeach Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez. On his Twitter account, Pacquiao voted “No.” Knowing him though, he’ll throw his support behind the ‘Yes’ voters soon.

In Other News…
The Court of Appeals has clarified that its earlier decision nullifying the warrant of arrest against fugitive senator Panfilo Lacson is executory. Sought for reaction, an overjoyed Lacson says he can’t wait to come home, go to his office, and convict Merci Gutierrez.

According to lawyer Alex Avisado, Senator Lacson is expected to surface very soon. In hiding for more than a year now, Lacson wants to sponsor some bills, reach out to his constituents, and save the marriage of Pampi and Jodi.

Mrs. Ligot, Again!
On Monday, the Senate Blue Ribbon committee resumed its hearing on the alleged corruption in the AFP. The probe began with the singing of the Philippine National Anthem. It was followed by an Invocation… of the right against self-incrimination.

Erlinda Yambao-Ligot, wife of former military comptroller Jacinto Ligot, admitted that she was on Valium during Monday’s Senate hearing. The first question asked her was, “Do you also produce concerts?”

Trustworthy
The latest Pulse Asia survey showed that 3 of 4 Filipinos trusted President Noynoy Aquino. To give you an idea, imagine JC Buendia, Paul Cabral, and Randy Ortiz. That’s three. Now, think of Liz Uy.
——————————————–“Impeachment is not a remedy for private wrongs; it’s a method of removing someone whose continued presence in office would cause grave danger to the nation.”
~Charles Ruff

Wow. A busy few days and a classic to reflect the comic tragedy of recent events. congrats ph.

Illuminating, erudite, insightful, and satirical- or in pacquio speak ” ist ko, or shuld that b ok? I like numbers beter in casino. I can spell casino”

General piglet and his mata hari, liarda who effortlessly switches from victim, to coy, to tearful, to flirt and who is clearly the mastermind showed how impotent the senate is, and not just the octogenerian senility enrile. She is clever and dangerous. On the very day they were at the senate her lawyers were trying to exclude any other properties not already identified from any seizure. Which means they have even more than 8, and why they would not even give an address to the senate.
And everyone plays legal ping pong and loses sight of how despicable such behaviour is.
In the 1st world they would have been crucified by now.
Here they still live in luxury!!
Why. Because no one in power has values of decency, honesty, and integrity. Hypocrites one and all.
Politicians play procedure and process which they often dont understand. Where is the passion. They miss the point and just look forward to 2 months holiday starting this week and their 200 million peso blood money.
research shows filipino politicians are the highest paid in the world!! how crazy is that.

you’re so bitter, anon. save from ph and his obras, there seems to be nothing else that pleases you.. but i know where you’re coming from; i’d say keep it up (it’s a nature, obvious ba?) but could we hear something else in our midst that elates or impresses you otherwise? may be it could help us appreciate our lot; give us some semblance of hope, instead of letting it wear out by degrees.

i hear what u say. the stoicism and decency of the majority impresses me.
maybe the silent majority is too silent and therein lies the problem. acceptance of mediocrity and subservience.
anyone who lies, cheats or steals deserves only vitriol.
who are the role models in the country. you tell me.
oh, and as a golfer, anyone who abuses etiquette needs a 5 iron up their. ..

Remember that one-on-one interview of Mikey by Winnie Monsod wherein Mikey looked like an idiot, a disgrace to Ateneo? In a tv appearance recently, Ms. Monsod said palagay niya, pinagalitan ni GMA si Mikey because of his unintelligent answers.

[…] Enjoy the heckler’s wit and humor. News Flash! A magnitude 212 earthquake shook the Philippine archipelago shortly after midnight Tuesday. The Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology said the quake’s epicenter was 17.6 km northeast of Manila, and was politics in origin. Intensity 46 was felt by the opposition bloc. Although there were no immediate reports of damage to properties, one casualty was reported. Authorities identified her as Merceditas Navarro Gutierrez, the … Read More […]

And from the same families in the last three or four generations: Aquino, Marcos, Macapagal, Roxas, Guingona, Cayetano. The upstarts such as Binay, Drilon, Revilla, Trillanes are no better and maybe even worse

inc followers are the 9th most dumf*ck flippinos. here’s the top 10 list

1st worshipers of willie revillame
2nd people who voted mani pakyaw
3rd people who believe in what kris aquino says
4th people who watch abs-cbn
5th the zombies of dinagat island
6th asslickers of quiboloy, villanueva and velarde
7th worshipers of cory
8th worshipers of the holy family
9th followers of inc
10th social network users who use their real names (you will be first to be eliminated when skynet takes over the world)

According to Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile, senators sitting as judge in the impeachment court will vote “according to their conscience,” to which ‘conscience’ said, “Hay salamat, for the first time, magagamit rin kami.”

Is it only in the Philippines, that we tolerate in Congress the likes of Panfilo Lacson, Jules Ledesma, Ronald Singson, and now Manny Paquiao who manage to disappear; sink from view for as long as they want? Why is our Congress so like this? Is this the be-all and end-all after coming from school and instilling in us (?) the value of punctuality, promptness, diligence and sense of responsibility?

its not all bad. the politicians will be on a 2 month holiday starting this week so most will be leaving the country.
100 million pesos for 100 days attendance. that cant be bad either.

the 10 principles of philippine politics.
1. Everyone can be bought
1.1 use pork barrel not your own money
2. Never admit to anything – especially if you are guilty.
2.1 have a good lawyer on retainer
3. Tax – As part of the elite just pay 10 percent of what you owe.
3.1 give a further 10 percent to the examiner.
4. Preach public service and how hard you work for the people. They will believe anything
4.2 give them karaoke. They go crazy for that. and t-shirts.
5. Get a private place in makati or quezon. Dont even tell the wife
5.1 only go to the special bars. No press allowed. but gro’s aplenty.
6. Any new project put up your photo. People will think that you contributed. and get streets and buildings named after you.
7. Make the press think you like them. They are sheep.
8. Dont promote freedom of information. knowledge by the masses is dangerous to a politicians bank account
9. Relax and enjoy the good life for 5 years and then buy re-election
or hire a hitman
10. Get as many family members on the payroll and into politics as possible. its a family business after all.
Follow these principles and any idiot can be president.

Dear p-noy
Am in the city of pines – looks more like korea to me.
Hear your popularity is slipping. My people will arrange a photo op for you. That should help. and could you have a talk to kim henares about my tax problem.
Drove past the summer palace. Keep it ready for when i take over. 3 more wins in the ring and i will be god and nearly as rich as a philippine president or an AFP controller.
First thing i will do is get a casino in baguio.
Hear you have increased our salary to 90 million. Jinkee and mommy d will be pleased. Small change for me.
Must go. Endorsing another product i have never heard of, or ever used.
And 2 months holiday starting this week. Good job i have congress keyed in to satnav. Forgotten where it is.
Roll with the punches
Manny
Ps. Like my spelling.
Am using a spell checker. She is great but dont tell the wife! at least you will never have that problem.