My life as a full time carer

Let me tell you the difference between girls and boys..

So it occurred to me during the week whilst doing some mundane cleaning, that my life would be completely different had I been born a boy. You see, I’m fiercely independent; since I was young, I have done all my own cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, paid my way in this world, studied hard, looked after myself etc. I’m now 22, and completely capable of surviving in the world on my own.

My brother on the other hand is 26, can’t work a washing machine, doesn’t cook unless it’s a microwave meal or pre-made food that you can bang in the oven for 20 minutes, granted he does the cleaning (badly), and hasn’t studied since school, and yet he is the one who has moved out and has his own (rented) home. I can’t tell you how amazing it would be for me to have my own space, to chill out in, to fill with lots of cute things, to keep immaculately clean, to be proud of, to simply call my own. But I’m starting to doubt whether that will ever happen for me, because I wasn’t born a boy.

There seems to be an unwritten rule that the daughters of the family inherit the role of looking after everyone else and put themselves last. Isn’t that what feminists fought against? That both sexes should be equal in all respects, not just wages at work or the ability to get certain jobs, but equal in all areas of life?
Every female I know is caring for others in one way or another, as mothers, sisters, daughters, any relationship really, but you don’t see that with men. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a rant again men, it’s more against the thought processes that this role is expected amongst women, yet celebrated as something extraordinary when a man takes up this role.

As a 22 year old carer, I live at home with both my parents. I receive £60 a week carers allowance, and £59 a fortnight income support. I have expenses which leaves me with not a lot left over, especially if I want to grab a Costa when I’m out, or go for a meal with friends. I also have a student overdraft to pay off, which I doubt I’ll get paid off, and will end up in further debt because of. Even if I were to move out, I can’t go more than 1 mile away or I get nothing, and because I’m under 25, I’m no longer eligible for housing benefit under our brilliant new government. I will never be able to move out with that income/expense situation, and I’ve resigned myself to that fact. But that doesn’t make it suck any less, and if it sucks, then I’m going to complain about it -.-