Downsizing dilemma

It's much easier to accumulate 'stuff' than it is to get rid of it

Daniel Drolet sits amid some of the leftover boxes from his 'downsizing' to a smaller condo in Ottawa.

Photograph by: Julie Oliver
, Ottawa Citizen

We don't miss the old place, really we don't. And (so far at least) we don't miss all the things we got rid of either.

But we are still reeling from the process.

We downsized, you see. Over the summer we went from a spacious three-bedroom house with a finished basement and a two-car garage to a comfortable two-bedroom condo with one parking spot and no outdoor space at all.

It was, for us, the right thing to do. But downsizing, I have learned, is not easy. Several months after the move, we are not yet done.

The biggest challenge is Stuff. With a capital S.

I read somewhere that baby boomers find downsizing difficult because never before has there been a generation with so much Stuff.

I can believe it. Over the 15 years we lived in our house, we filled it to the brim. We "stored" furniture or artwork for friends. We took in the plants of people moving out of town. We inherited things from assorted family members - sometimes even from the families of friends. And, of course, there was our own Stuff, the things we bought or otherwise accumulated. There's no incentive to get rid of Stuff when you have a place to keep it.

Then, virtually on the spur of the moment, we sold our house and bought a new place that was less than half the size. And we were faced with the realization that we had less than two months to get rid of at least half of our Stuff because there was simply no room for it in the new place.

At first it was fun. I gleefully filled garbage bags with things I had kept just because it had been easier to keep them than to throw them out. Like 10-year-old birthday cards, or instruction manuals for appliances that died long ago.

Then it got harder. I'd open up a box and find memorabilia from my childhood, or old magazines, or things with sentimental value. I went through it all, piece by piece, evening after evening. I'd force myself to ask why I was keeping this trophy or that scrapbook.

For the most part, I was ruthless. Most of the memorabilia went. It had to. There was just going to be no room in the new place. My partner and I gave each other permission to keep silly or useless things. But only a few.

Downsizing got harder still when it came to useful things, like garden hoses (no longer needed), books (no room for them all) and several roomfuls of furniture. I wasn't about to just toss perfectly useful things. We made a list of sellable items and organized a virtual garage sale, sending out an email to friends, family and neighbours. This turned out to be quite successful.

Things we couldn't sell, we gave away. Extra clothing went to charity. We donated an estimated 1,500 books to the library. (How did we ever come to own so many books, I wondered?)

The hardest to part with were the things I thought had value. Like my vinyl records. Surely I could get money for them, I thought. But record stores didn't want what I had. And a venture into online sales sites brought no takers. I was about to toss them when I found someone who would give them a home.

Even with all our efforts, I could tell it was not quite enough. As moving day approached, I grew desperate. I'd put things by the side of the road early on garbage day, hoping they'd disappear before the garbage truck got there (they usually did). I pestered friends and acquaintances. I tried selling a few more things online.

I have talked to people who have found the task of purging so daunting they threw up their hands and said, "Oh, just move it all and I'll go through it in the new place."

I was tempted to do it myself. Then I kept thinking of the space we wouldn't have. And I'd go back to my task.

Despite my best efforts, there was still an excess of Stuff come moving day. We are storing a few boxes at a friend's house until we can figure out what to do with them.

And as for the new place, well, let's just say it's already full. Really full.

So now we are doing a second round of downsizing that includes editing our remaining belongings so that the new, smaller space does not seem quite so cramped.

Friends who have downsized have talked about feeling liberated at the end of the process. I just felt tired. Getting rid of Stuff is a lot harder than acquiring it.

"We downsized a year ago and we're still at it!" a new neighbour commented.

I can believe it.

DOWNSIZING TIPS FROM A PRO

Jill Pollack, host of the HGTV show Consumed, says downsizing can be an emotional experience. Here are her tips for successful downsizing.

- Time: Create a realistic timeline. Don't be too ambitious or too lazy. If you dedicate two or three full weekends to the project, that should take care of most of it.

- Helpers: Get all hands on deck. Have friends and family help out. It can be a fun process if you act as a team.

- Be realistic: Realize you can live with less. There is so much we don't really need.

- Prepare: Be realistic about your new space. Try to measure the areas so you know what furniture will fit.

- Be steady: Purge as you go. Get rid of stuff that is broken (and you don't want to fix), stained, mouldy or out of style.

- Shred, shred, shred: Deal with all of the old paperwork and make a clean start. Most of it will be out of date (except tax and property papers) and so much now is online so we don't need to keep as much paper as we used to. Invest in new filing products.

- Sell off: Consider a tag or estate sale. It's a good way to make some extra cash, especially if you're reluctant to get rid of something because you "paid good money for it." Otherwise donate.

- Resist: Rent a storage unit only as a last resort. People don't really ever go back into their unit and it's a waste of money. Things just rot in there for years.

- Holding on: Be honest about the sentimental stuff. Keep one plastic sealed bin of memorabilia per person - otherwise, pass it on.

- Ask yourself: Which of the items I own now are really important to me? Is it beautiful, useful, or loved? Or am I just keeping it out of habit?

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