HISTORY OF THE sBGt LABS

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[Posted by: TXAnn]
This was a post by Stuie from back in 2004, but it gives a good idea of how the Labs began. There have been many people who have come and gone over the years, the Labrats have had many adventures, the story line has shifted several times. It isn't a full-time thing; it comes and goes, sometimes with the seasons, sometimes in spontaneous bursts. But I can safely say that the ongoing story has intrigued TOFA readers for around a decade--whether they lurk or participate. Sometimes lurkers come in from the dark and post, saying that the wild adventures of the sBGt gang are what keeps them coming back.
Now's the time for a brief... Author: Stuie B. (---.cwisp.net) Date: 04-06-04 21:34 ...history of the sBGt Labs. I think it was somewhere August of 1997 (all of this post is WELL open to correction) someone, perhaps it was GeeTony (aka GT, Gee Tee) asked on the TOFA Gardening site about a way to eradicate moles and other underground burrowing pests. One method described by me was to inject hydrogen down one hole and acetylene down another and have a burning fusee (railroad flare) in the middle. Tony and I would banter about on that site with sometimes less than serious postings. Another poster there joining in was "BG from PA". I don't know how long it took, but I mused about the possibility of the manufacture of "instant bourbon" much like instant coffee we all use today. Somewhere about that time the mythical SBGT Labs was born, the product of our imaginations. Tony and I would be working on our boozy inventions and BG from PA would be minding the front office, fending off all sorts of creditors, repo men, bank managers, etc. Of course we had several versions of our company accounting books, which BG would take care of. When she realised that she really had a powerful position, BG insisted that we rename the place as the sBGt Labs. Tony and I immediately agreed, hoping to keep the IRS off our backs for a little while longer. Tony would beaver away at his workbench whilst Stuie had placed a high school gym wrestling mat at his workbench so he wouldn't bang his head when he passed out from sampling the instant bourbon. On a field trip to Long Island, New York, Stuie discovered a LIRR Alco G5 steam locomotive rusting away in a park. He organised the recovery of this to the Labs and converted it to a giant still to increase production. Shortly after (or was it just before) the front office was visited by a blonde travelling saleslady who was selling anvils on a door to door basis. GT happened to be near the front desk at the time, and - to make a sory short - ran off with her for a while. In the meantime, Stuie invented Instant Scotch which promoted more long periods of snoring on the mat on the floor. When an exhausted GT finally returned, Stuie's last invention, Instant GeeTeeKeyLa (passing off small dried shrimp as a worm) was marketed in his honour. BG finally had to retire (actually, she was paid off with a bloody good pension to keep quiet) and Belinda replaced her. TXANN and George from TX (I miss him) ran the Southern Division, Cindy Salsalito (I wonder just WHO she REALLY was) have come and gone. Bump, Elsie, Judy, Donna, Jeannette and others (Sorry if I've missed someone!) have made appearances. No doubt, I've missed out on things, I certainly hope I haven't slighted anyone. If you were once on our payroll (Ha! Pay?) please make yourself known. Of course the sBGt Labs were well renown for skirting any and all regulations put down by any government. Yep! Its been (still is) a lot of fun! I miss GT more than you can know and plan to fund another American Legion fish dinner in his memory. I'm sure that he'd enjoy that! He was a good mate and my alter ego. bye...sb "There is unexpected beauty hidden everywhere in this world — one just has to be open to seeing it. Remember that the next time you sneeze on your monitor." — Nathan Walton.
~>> HISTORY OF THE sBGt LABS <<~ Posted by: TXAnn (IP Logged) Date: February 7, 2007 09:24AM

Sorry, but just as I clicked the Post button, I thought of summat (a little
North of England lingo, there) else. When the Gardening site
stopped talking of blowing up backyards and starting talking
about the manufacture and marketing of instant booze, we were
invited to move that sort of stuff to another TOFA site
called, "The World". When the madness worsened, TOFA (bless
their cotton socks) created this General Discussion Group that
we have today.
Other founding member TOFAers who are gone are Chow Dog,
Netagene, Judy (from CT), Holly, Debbie from MI, and a few
more who I will recall after I post THIS one! I know that
Netagene, Holly and Debbie are still alive, but can't say
about the others.
A word to our lurkers: you will always be welcome here, we
have no senior "elites", we are a bit of an extended family,
care for one another, have the occasional fuss, but we remain
strong!
bye, all.....sb

things I remember were several explosions (verification pictures posted by bump), the entrance of bump and jeannette trading bottle washing duties depending on whose sports team was winning, jeannette laying out throw rugs over the holes in the floors, which na fell down one of, discovery of little blue georgie down there in those tunnels in a water closet...

the campaign of belinda for president, whith incredible PR work by na--anyone still have those posters?--the party name, coined by donna w, was the baloneycrats and mascot was a 2 headed llama atop a dung heap), judyann the piolet trying to fly an extremely overloaded campaign plane, and I think the crash of same...

and the most recent expedition into outer space on star blaster's ship which had no instruction manual, and which, last I heard, had crashed somewhere extraterrestrial but I think maybe I'm behind on some details about how (and why) it returned.

And where did that gigantic deluxe outhouse come in? and didn't rickyb have something to do with some hubcaps? some parts of this story remain vague for some odd reason.

I remember that elsie wrote a manifesto or mission statement or something. There's a nurse in the preemplyment physicals office with elbow length gloves and the hots for stuie.

no one has seen star blaster for a while and so we assume doc p has been sent to fill the spot till she gets back (tx ann, this latest temp agency is pretty good! where'd ya find em? umm, never mind)

Sheila, I had nothing to do with it--must just have been Karma or something--Doc P just wandered in.

Stuie was the one with the hubcap, given to him by an old Maori pal when they were both in the Honolulu hoosegow to keep him safe from the Pineapple Princess. I think! And Shed 7 wound up on a street in Brooklyn in front of Fred J's house, some way or another. At one time, the Rev. Jesse Jackson and several of his friends were trapped in the tunnels under the labs--I think they may have been hiding from Nurse Rachett and her proclivity for giving extreme examinations. (She didn't have those elbow-length rubber gloves for nothing!) Another time, there was a large fire, something to do with a motorcycle gang. Cindi Salsa was the one who wore the red coveralls and the red-high heeled sandals. She kindly left them in the office desk drawer for Belinda--who almost broke her neck. Belinda wore the red leather britches and the gold llama-hair sweater and introduced us to red koolaid and fried baloney sammiches.

You know, I'm beginning to get even more muddled than usual--I'd go take a nap but I'm afraid that dragging up all these memories would make me have a nightmare--the kind where you wind up eating fried baloney sammiches and red koolaid until you can't get the overloaded Labs chopper off the ground and have to stay in Big Joe's Luxury Outhouse for the rest of your life. You DO remember Big Joe, don't you? grinning smiley And we haven't EVEN got around to explaining Harold the Tig.

Nurse Ratchet would be proud her memory is still alive. She is my sister so I'll tell her.. lol.. Back in 2002 thru 2004 I was part of the fun at the labs... lol.. The fried baloney sammiches started because I mentioned that H had made hubby fried baloney sammiches for his lunch.. lol..
Belinda......;-)

lol....after reading some of this stuff...wonder if i fit in here or not, such prose...i'm flabbergasted fabulously....lol....here is a bit for you all, since it seems this was started with moles and underground and all...did you ever try a piece of juicyfruit gum? winking smiley lol.....well, with all the "hoopla" you guys been figurin out wonder why something so simple didn't "pop" up right along....oh well....tongue sticking out smiley
hope doc P finds this and isn't lost out in tribocalli land somewhere.....

It's not for you to wonder IF you'd fit in here,
You have already been assigned - or maybe they just haven't got around to actually telling you yet what your job prescription wouldn't be.
Na is a good one for detaling the work loads BUT otherwise, just jump in fingers first and mind your knee on the door.
Be careful too that your hair doesn't get caught in the cracks on the door as you go swooshing on in!!

i wondered why i had a patch of hair missing, it must be that door thingy, didn't pay attention to the "ouch" i suffered whilst walking through the door. m ready for any work detail you "throw" at me, can work wonders with pnut butter and bananas or a pen and paper. the imagination is a great place to play.....not to mention the sandy shells bestowed upon my sill....

anyone up for a trip to someplace warm? we could surely write it off. one, its market research, and two, we're bound to lose money. (or do we avoid the tax people completely, maybe...) I'm suggesting New Orleans. barefootind already has a costume--a llama mohawk--and we have beads and tunes, and txann apparently knows how to make baloney in spicy tomato sauce---urff--(put that thing DOWN txann!) and I KNOW Stuie and Jeannette and Bump would manage the dishes without even--ooff--

What we really need is to get permission to land at big city airports--we're gonna run Fernando the two-headed llama for president with Harold-the-Tig as vice president--or perhaps just as vice! Gotta get that ship back in the air.

I thought about that but how do I explain to all the people I work with that I'm actually a three-foot black-haired labrat who needs a mechanic to repair a space ship that doesn't have a manual?? I get some pretty weird looks I tell you.

I'm glad I read the WHOLE thread this time. Very interesting. A little more insight as to what Harold is and how he came about would be very helpful.(Stuie?) That way I would know who/what I'm speaking to iffin when I should speak to Harold at the 'Labs'. Don't want to make any mistakes like I did on my first visit there.

The inspiration for Harold came to me about nine or maybe ten years ago when I was shopping in our local Save-A-Lot. Alma M. was working there (I worked with her dad some years previously). I showed her a package of turkey ham and asked her, "Is this made from two seperate meats or does it come from just one animal.....and if so, what self respecting turkey would have anything to do with a pig? Pigs can't lay turkey eggs, can they?" Poor Alma, totally flummoxed!

Tony Griffis (GT) and Jilly (BG) were both here then and they jumped in when I decided that the sBGt Labs should investigate the development of turkey ham in our secret Shed 8. Test tubes bubbled over, petri dishes exploded, bunsen burners flared, the local sheriff left for Florida, coils of glass tubing glowed, windows rattled, a repo man fled for his life, GT laughed, all the ice cubes melted, all the grass in the lawn grew ten inches in two minutes and BANG! Harold was......uhhhh...sort of born. Half turkey and half pig. The only survivor of the experiment.

As time went by, Harold became Stuie's close companion, learned to speak, gained Stuie's ....errrrr.....uhhhhh....financial organisational skills, can come up with a clever plan at the click of a cloven hoof, and enjoys fine cigars.

Tony left us suddenly a little over four years ago and I'm not sure BG is still alive.

Next August's local American Legion Fish Dinner will be sponsored (and advertised) by "The sBGt Labs in Memory of Tony Griffis." his has already happened before.

Local Chamber of Commerce people will be asking, "Who and where is this sBGt Labs? Who is this Tony Griffis?" Legion: "Dunno, ask Stuie."

I'll be out of town on Operation Sunshine and Tony will be laughing in Heaven
(Harold, have you seen my cigar cutter?)

Funny, how the Labs have evolved over the years, it's in its twelfth now. From Stuie, Tony and Jilly beavering away at their work benches and front desk to a whole bunch of LabRats flying all over the cosmos in Star Blasters spaceship! "Wot next?"

Tony (GT) or Jilly (BG) nor I would have imagined in our wildest, crazy dreams back in 1997 that this would hae gone so far for so long.

I think the turning point, whenever THAT happened, was when the LabRats started setting and changing the story line, sometime after GT was enjoying the fleshpots of Honolulululu (yeah, Hotel and King Streets) while poor ol' Stuie was stuck in the jail there.

Sometimes keeping up with the changes is a challenge, I can't remember how I got out of the situation when I was in the woods outside Shed 2 with the Lawrence Welk bubble machine that I bought from eBay!

I'm sure the sBGt Labs will still be going well after my passing, the spirit of the LabRats will go on as long as computers are working and the creeks don't rise.

And, yes, I STILL have my 1948 Hudson hubcap, I think I'll be needing it again soon if Nurse Gladys finds me!!

wow! its been such a long time. reading about the labs has brought back some memories. and its nice to know that some of my old friends are still here. we all had some good laughs back then didnt we? well its so nice to be back and i look forward to reconnecting with everyone here.