Wednesday, July 10, 2013

This Week's Trial Of The Century!

I just watched an entire day of this George Zimmerman trial so you don't have to. Before today I was positive that at then end of the trial the authorities would go dig up Trayvon Martin, book him and then stick the needle in his arm to kill him again for bothering that poor George Zimmerman guy.

But today the defense called a burr headed bulldog face named Dennis Root who was billed as a "defensive use of force" expert. Root, who couldn't help but mention his self defense business and the fact he was getting an hourly wage to sit there and tell you what a fucking wimp his fat friend, George Zimmerman, is. But you'd be crazy to think Mr.Root was there to promote himself and get some money, he just wanted everybody to know the truth. Just like Sean Hannity does.

Goddamn this trial is a farce. We have lawyers fighting with dummies, and I don't mean your average Fox News viewer, on the floor of a courtroom, we have defense attorneys calling everybody they can find to claim that a fat slob with a gun was screeching for help on a tape while being attacked by a pot fueled maniac with some Skittles and tea, we have kickboxing coaches claiming George Zimmerman couldn't fight his way out of a nursing home full of Terri Schiavos (oh tooo soon?) and a judge who truly hates knock knock joke guy.

I am now convinced Zimmerman sat in his house watching Hannity and O'Reilly and other white supremacists and ate and ate and ate so he'd look like the Fox Nation commenters and the all white jury will say chrissakes, how can that tub of goo even lift a gun much less use one.

The defense's closing statement will go something like this:

"Ladies of the jury, look at my client, a fat disgusting sedentary slob who was out that evening defending his neighborhood from future Black Panthers like Trayvon Martin, who, in a marijuana fueled rage, soon after playing the piano really fast, attacked my client for no reason, in fact taunted my hungry client with a bag of Skittles and bottle of sugary sweet tea. What was my client to do? His sugar levels dangerously low, taunted by a young thuggish 17 year old who had been plotting to stand in front of a white polling place in 2012 and intimidate older white ladies like yourselves into not voting for the Savior, Mittens Romney. What horrible fate awaited my client had he not exercised his 2nd Amendment rights and stood his ground against this out of control wild eyed hoodie wearing drug addicted dark lunatic with a plastic bottle of sugary tea? I suggest death by diabetes at best, choking on a Skittle at worst. Whatever the outcome, my fat out of shape client was in fear for his life and took appropriate action by gunning down at a 90 degree angle this future Democrat. You have no choice but to find Trayvon Martin guilty, I mean, whathisname? Oh yeah, George Zimmerman not guilty and in fact present him with a medal for his actions. Thank you and the check better clear, Mr.Hannity!"

Yeah I know, Zimmerman may walk. Very slowly and having to stop every few feet to catch his breath.