Containing Sexual Kundalini through Tantra, To then Manifest Creatively

On the spiritual journey, as kundalini starts to rise from the base, progressively due to the spiritual work you may be doing (chakra meditations for example), then the movement of energy can feel very sexual at times. And it can result in a strengthening of sexual desire that wants to be fulfilled. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's right for it to be expressed sexually, perhaps because the situation isn't right for it, or else a potential partner isn't available, or because the energy is meant to be contained and expressed in a different way, which can then become amazingly creative in your life. You may contain it and embody it, through particular practices of 'tantra'...

Released Kundalini that Feels Sexual

Released kundalini energy might feel very sexual, but there is often a fine dividing line between this and purely creative energy - the two are very closely related. So what you may well find, is that by working to contain the feelings within, without necessarily expressing sexually, that you start to draw all manner of reflective manifestations in the field around you: a beautiful bird for example or some other creature in nature; powerful life-changing synchronicities; you may witness clouds shaping synchronistically in the heavens; and 5D connections forming with new people and creative situations coming into your life.

One essential aspect of activating kundalini and containing it, is that you'll likely start seeing plentiful reflections of your Twin Flame around you. In the Openhand Approach, the Twin Flame does not physically incarnate. Rather it is the other polarity of the soul, which takes shape near the source, as the soul starts to flow into form - as it incarnates. So at this point, the soul notionally subdivides into two, one part - the Twin Flame - staying close to the source, and the other incarnating. When the soul is active and integrated enough within the incarnated journey, the Twin Flame then begins to generate reflections in the field around the incarnated soul, thus acting as 'homing beacon', drawing the soul through life - through the Universal Torus - inviting deeper integration and therefore progressive 'ascension' back to the source (an inner journey which is reflected into the outer world).

The question is, how to master this movement when it might feel mainly sexual, but the sexual urges aren't necessarily being reciprocated or there are no immediate circumstances for full sexual expression?

An Outline Practice of Tantra

This is where the practice of 'tantra' becomes essential, which to me, is essentially transcending the physical experience by penetrating through it with awareness and bringing the expressed energy fully back inside yourself.

Essentially you allow the kundalini energy to flow, supported by daily spiritual practice (parnic breathing for example); you might then witness someone who activates sexual urges in you, but where there's not necessarily opportunity for that to be fulfilled. Nevertheless you may allow the feelings to flow, but being clear to bring the cycle of energy back within yourself. How to do this? It is the recognition that any kind of sexual fulfillment - orgasm for example - is generated by the sense of completeness that happens within you. It's as if the realised aspect of yourself is meeting and uniting with the unrealised aspect right back at the source - you're essentially having a unification process with your Twin Flame. Which is why it can feel so remarkable. But you do have to practice bringing the energy back inside and not attaching to the external subject. You let it flow out with the expression of your desire, but working to stay completely present and bringing the energy back to you in a cycle. You literally feel the embodiment of the energy within yourself. This can be practiced in actual sexual intimacy with a partner or by self pleasuring - being attentive during release to bring the cycle of consciousness back to the completeness of the source within. But as I've expressed, this tantric practice is not limited merely to sexual intimacy.

Please note: It's also essential to add, that if an external reflection in someone is generating sexual desire within you, but the person is not reciprocating, not to be imagining that you are sexually fulfilling with them through this tantric containment practice - the risk being that you generate unwelcome energetic connections through the field with them anyway, which would then be an invasion of privacy and the other person's sovereignty. But it maybe that the reflections you see create an imaginary vision not related to the subject, which can then be fine to express sexually, through self pleasuring, in a divinely sacred manner - it not just being about sexuality, but deeply expressed sensuality, connecting widely through the senses, being gentle and sensitive with oneself.Explore Sacred Sexuality Further in this Openhand Forum Thread

Where blockages created distorted Tantric Experience

This form of tantra is highly advanced, and the movement of energy is likely to reveal internal blockages, such as in the sacrum for example, where unrealised soul might be attaching in relationship. If you notice this happening, it's essential to strengthen your chakra attunement practices, but also being clear to work in daily life where attachment may be arising - it's about softening into the blockage, exploring where there might be subconscious need, bringing this into awareness and realising the completeness of the One that you already are.Sample this Openhand Chakra Opening and Attunement Meditation to support your practice

It's also essential to note, that distorted expression of releasing kundalini energy, which then sticks within particular chakras - such as the base for example - can allow in interdimenssional entities, which then wish to exploit and harness the releasing energy. I've experienced them feeding purely sexual desire so as to harness this energy - which is one of the highest forms of divine energy - hence the risk of becoming a target. It's essential therefore to be vigilant, totally conscious and aware in your own field, and always looking for aligned expression - the feeling and sense of rightness within how you express, and particularly sexually.If You Feel Entities Invading Your Field, Try this Openhand Releasing Entities and Implants Meditation

Practicing Tantra in Life

If we can master holding the rising kundalini, without necessarily having to express sexually, but then transmute inappropriate desire progressively into internal embodiment of the completion of the energy, then you'll increasingly find that the energy is integrated into your field and life, to be expressed magically in countless ways: when you eat food for example, you fully taste it, being fully present with it, yet again, the delight of actually tasting and fulfilling as consuming, is embodied by witnessing the sense of completion within you as you eat.

If we practice this tantric approach, then you're highly likely to witness reflections of your Twin Flame progressively all around you in life: in nature, in songs and music, in the twinkle of a persons eye, in the sign on an advertising billboard. You witness something, feel the arising of energy, but then embody it as a sense of fulfilled completeness in the moment. It feels utterly divine, like you're constantly living with divine presence - the fulfillment of you - all around you. Not only does it feel magical, but the contained internal potential, becomes a powerful creative manifesting engine in your life.

This embodied tantric energy is then 'normalised' within you. It becomes a way of living, where life is dancing around you, continually creating, and being fulfilled as a sense of completeness within. It can be expressed sexually, but doesn't have to be. It is simply creative. Simply divine. I encourage all who resonate with my sharing to explore along the lines I've expressed, but in a way that feels appropriate for you.

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Comments

I'm so glad that my simple comment inspired you to write an entire article. I feel I'm taking baby steps through these but still I could resonate with most of what you shared. It also helped me to have an overview of what I was already dealing with

Like you say in the article, I feel this sexual urges towards someone who is reciprocating. But the situations are not at all favourable. I openly and honestly shared with her which revealed a lot of attachment she was holding onto which stems from a lack of acceptance of her situations. It also showed me some expectation because of a lack of trust in the divine. I guess the relation transformed from something merely sexual to something more meaningful, divine. Though I would have liked the emotions to stay. I guess this is what you mean by bringing the energy back into oneself.

I have also experienced in the past intimacy towards others who Im sure where not reciprocating. I don't understand how it can be a breaching of one's privacy and soveigrenity. But one time, this particular girl surprisingly unintentionally moved away from my landscape. And I felt I may have violated some boundaries but within my mind.

Hi Vimal - I'd say the exploration of sacred sexuality is one of the leading ways in which we can develop spiritually - it brings up many distortions that invite internal alignment and really teaches one the application of tantra in life: being in the physical, but not of it or attached to it.

In sexual union, or even when contemplating the potential of it with another, energy fields can begin to be connected. That's why I felt it important to express the be careful about invading someone else's field where the feelings are not reciprocated. Essentially you probably wouldn't want that to happen to you - energies cam get entwined in your field if your not being careful to continually cleanse your field and align it with your own vibration - being fully sovereign. Ultimately it's our own responsibility to be that, but where someone isn't fully conscious and integrated in this way, it just risks imposing on their field. Maybe that's why you experienced the synchronicity of her moving away.

OK adding a bit more. In opening up my feeling honestly suddenly I'm thrust with fear. Fear of not being able to stand my ground. Fear of being forced against my will by people around me. What if I end up resenting making a choice that I did not want to take. Fear of taking my independence and soveigrenity from me. Pain in my sacrum.

I put on a song by snow patrol - run. The energy passes through the whole of my body.

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Thanks for the questions. Yes it's most definetly karma - probably persecuted in a past life for a sexual expression, forced against my will or something like that

In this life time I experience the karma as conditioning from parents, my mother mostly and our culture in general. I was told from an early age not to fall for a girl or somethibg bad might happen. My sexuality and self pleasuring was shamed. So I kept shoving it in in order to avoid judgement. I'm afraid to openly express my feelings, needs and love to my parents. I can't definetly blame them because I have heard from the stories that she was conditioned even more intensively by her mother. So the blame wouldn't end anywhere.

I see the universe has perfectly crafted the right situations in my life to experience these constrictions now. Here you either don't talk to each other or you get married. Anything in between is met with disapproving look. I'm afraid of the sexual movement because I'm afraid of hurting the other person, giving false hope. So if the movement doesn't have any future why express it at all. It would have undesirable consequence like taking away my freedom. There is also attaching to physical form, perfectionism etc.

I had a dream yesterday in which I'm travelling through air in a chair. I kept avoiding the various bolder and breaking down many barbed fences when they stood in my way. I finally reach a house and I'm thinking how to stop this journey. It comes to mind that I don't have to because it's just a dream. And I wake up. My first thought was that the fences might be boundaries im violating. But I think it might be the various conditioning that I'm breaking down inside and I don't have to stop at all. Because it's all an illusion anyway!

Another intriguing and unusual thing happened today. A relative came to visit who was always disapproving of my ways from the beginning. He was telling my apparent in the other room that I must be taken for consultation and he would arrange for it. I was meditating in my room and my heart kept beating wildly. I kept breathing and opening into it and could really only feel love for them who has come together in various ways to provide me with this opportunity of karmic exploration. I don't know if I have broken through the pain but I feel light and relaxed now. This relative kept saying in the conversation that I need to convince others that I'm right!! I guess he was trying to prove himself right. I was laughing inside remembering what you said - "being you might rattle the cages of those around you". Well I agreed to visit the psychiatrist or consultant, it would be fun. But I hope I don't get injected with anything against my will! 😁

A few strong alarm bells are ringing though, which I felt to reflect. Firstly, in many of your posts, it seems to me that you tend to refer and involve your inquiries with your parents a fair deal - is that right? Yet at the same time, you also express how they don't necessarily support your spiritual journey or inquiries - is that right? If that's the case, I feel to ask... why do you feel the need to consult with them and involve them so much? (as it seems to me you may be doing).

I do understand there's strong cultural connections in your environment, but I do get the sense you're potentially involving them too much in a journey which they're not probably able to fully get, understand or fully empathise with.

The second alarm bell is allowing others in the family group to then recommend you see a psychiatrist - for what purpose? Because you disagree with their version of reality, because you follow a unique path? My experience of the 'system' is that it can be quite dangerous to those on the spiritual path - there's frequently little or no recognition of soul, and so practices often tend to try to reconfigure the mind, which can be limited, conditioning and dangerous - and yes, often prescription medication is recommended in a lot of cases where people don't conform.

I feel a strong sense to urge you to take more sovereignty with your journey - especially where your family is concerned.
And to set more positive boundaries in terms of who you let into your process - the risk being to take you down pathways that really don't serve your soul.

Open, I think you have misunderstood some of the things I said. But you maybe right I allow them into my field. I wonder if its a need for approval? . Ofcourse I understand its my unique journey and none of family can relate with it. I don't talk with them about spirituality at all. But in this particular case if it allowed me to confront with a tightness I had in my heart. How is it necessarily giving away my sovereignity. It maybe diplomacy. Maybe there was a risk on elaborating my 'story' here. I said it as something funny which doesn't affect me at all. I can say No anytime, the power lies within me. I just thought it would be fun! Didnt you we the smiley at the end?! 😁
Yes most of my exploration are where my family are involved. That is because I live and love amongst them and I'm confronting a lot of childhood conditioning. So how would it be positive not to involve them? . I feel that I'm continuity exploring and creating firm boundaries with them and have plenty of space. And I don't consult with them at all! But you maybe right I maybe pulling them in in order for more connection.

Open another thing I wanted to say is the need for approval from paternal figure. I feel this is a big exploration of mine and its karmic. I have experienced in this lifetime as rejection from father figure upon incarnation here. I know I project this onto you and maybe you can see it too. When I come here I'm pulled in two direction, either I become temporarily high or down into despair. I'm been exploring this for a long time and I really want to get out from this. I'm only sharing and becoming vulnerable here in hope of an opening into this pain. Ultimately that's all I'm looking for even though I walk into blind alley sometimes. When I write here it is tainted by this filter. Even in day today life i tend to conform unconsciously to the likes of my father - someone who is unnaturally calm. There is a tightness in my throat when I write this down.

Hi Vimal - it's great that you're opening up and being vulnerable - a sure way to progression

I have to say I didn't respond with the family perspective because of just this latest post - to me, it's been a constant theme there in the background for some considerable time. I find myself often asking... "why are you still so concerned about family and what they might think?" It's just a general impression that's come across through the ether. But if you genuninely feel I'm mistaken, then it could be the case. Although usually when I 'see some smoke', there's a degree of fire behind it.

It's also good that you're honest about projecting the paternal figure onto me. I don't have a problem with it, that kind of thing happens all the time. The important thing is that you're owning it. And I think it's really positive to feel both attraction and a degree of 'repulsion'. I'm happy that we're probably reflecting both sides of the same coin - an invitation to stay connected, yet draw clear boundaries about what exactly is your truth.

I say this to you and to everyone, Openhand 'intentionally' (because it tends to naturally happen) acts as a mirror to bring things into awareness. It is NOT saying 'this' or 'that' is the truth. What is offered is more a framework for inquiry - a perspective in which to explore.

Open, it's very synchronistic that you put the commentnow because I was going to reply something along the same theme. Which is
Now that I have gone through the pain a fair deal, in retrospect I see how all of this is perfectly configured by the flow to reveal the various attachments. It's beautiful. It means we can never be wrong. So trust in the flow is essential. Open if I'm not invading on your privacy could I ask out of curiosity, can you read where the flow is heading beforehand? Like in this case for instance. What can you possibly learn from these simple conversations.?
I'm amazed by the timing of the flow.

I still think you may have misunderstood somethings I have written and it's probably because I eloborated a single day's story without what was leading upto it. But you were also right on this concern about what my family thinks specially in my sexuality and to whom I'm engaging with. The smoke has been lifted, I can see a bit more clearly. I will be more aware within family interaction where I'mosing my soveigrenity.

I was a bit doubtful of inviting you into my stuff but apparently not. Though I don't understand what you mean by two sides of the same coin

Can I read the flow beforehand? No. Not exactly. But I am 100% committed to being in the flow in this moment, all the time. I don't let ANYTHING stop me. Because I've journied enough to know that everything else is illusion. Wherever there is any tightness, that is ignored, it leads to living in the illusion and I can't see the point of that - except as a means to discover there is no point to it!

I don't think about what I write, nor do I use logic to ask the questions I do. They come out of the ether and I recognise them as the inquiry of the moment - what's being invited to be explored. When you do this, you align with the magic and mystery that is connecting around us and clicking in around us. You and I - plus others - have ALREADY aligned this inquiry 'in the heavens'. Now lower mind is simply catching up - that's why it may look like one is reading the future. What you're actually reading is 'future-landing-now', in this moment, without any time delay or warping of lower mind and distortion (or relatively little at least).

I feel like this an important subject of sacred sexual energy being discussed here. Thank you for opening to that. At the same time I know this to be sensitive and taboo area even to the evolving souls because there is so much distortions/karma around it accumulated in this lifetime, stretching to other lifetimes and beyond.

For me, this is also an important subject for exploration and growth as it is challenging and offering opportunity for evolution. I started exploring sexuality from my early childhood and for obvious reasons that created a lot of distortions around it which fear, guild, shame effecting other aspects of life including OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) which is still subtly effecting my life but to much lesser degree. For example, I am still having those night visitations (unconscious release) but with less frequency and effect.

I feel like bringing alignment to the expression of sexuality (sensuality) is one of my main lessons in this life. By bringing the alignment in my own field, the effect can have a ripple effect in the surrounding field as well which is great and needed at this time.

When sexual kundalini is being released and experienced, and you know it's right to contain, without actually expressing it through sexual intimacy, erotic music, movement and dance can help to integrate and embody the energy. It becomes a natural part of you which then becomes simply expressive and creative - the sexual aspect is transformed. This is a song that conveys the sense of what I'm taking about. It's time to open up to the unexpressed "Twin Flame" aspect of yourself - let it flow in...

I'm having a loving and honest interaction towards someone through the internet. We have met a couple of times but are physically apart since she lives in a different place. First I thought this was a disadvantage but now I see differently. It helps me to go beyond the body and looks etc and feel the presence inside of me. Its as if the souls are interacting in the heavens as you speak about. I'm not sure if this is a mutual experience or my relative experience. But when I interact in the physical dimension I also have pain and fear - fear of being loved maybe or fear of family(again!) complications from both sides. Fear of losing sovereignty. Some karma for sure. Pain in the sacrum. I'm also experiencing a lot of emotions sexual mainly but I feel to contain it. Kundalini dance was a great idea. I put on a different song and danced to it integrating some of the energy inside of me.

This thread resonates, and so I feel to respond. What you wrote, Open, about creating energetic connections with other people through thinking about them/using images of them while self-pleasuring particularly stood out to me.

I’ve been struggling for some time with sudden smells of male perfume during times and in places where they shouldn’t have appeared, and what has felt like energetic sexual penetrations. These experiences have felt intrusive – although I haven’t been able to intellectually interpret them. When reading this article, I immediately felt very strongly that these experiences might be explained by this, as I have sensed a lot of sexual attraction from men from a very young age, and some guys have outright told me that they tend to think about me when they self-pleasure. To me, this feels like an aspect of the distorted masculine that feels somewhat entitled to ‘rape’ the divine feminine, and I’m honestly not OK with it, as I’ve personally always been very conscious about who I create sexual connections with, both physically and mentally. I appreciate that these experiences are probably related to karma (as everything else), and so they serve me, but as with all karma, the goal is to break free from it.

I further feel that men generally appear to have a need to fantasize about multiple women when self-pleasuring – which to me pinpoints the distorted masculine ‘raping’ the divine feminine. To me, this doesn’t feel right, and it never has. I appreciate that this need and act frequently appear in women too – although I personally feel that the extent of it is much greater in men. I often “hear” voices as men walk past me and look me at with hungry eyes, saying “I’d shag her” (as if every woman out there is a part of an involuntary shagging evaluation – and it appears to be somewhat involuntary on both sides). Where did this need come from, energetically? Is it aligned? If it is aligned, then why and how is it? When talking to guys about this, they tend to laugh it off rather quickly, emphasizing how “all guys are doing it”. But lots of people are doing lots of things that aren’t ultimately aligned, such as eating meat and lying, for example, and so I find it to be a rather poor argument. If it is a distortion, then what is the truth behind it? If someone is in a committed relationship, for example, is it aligned to fantasize about other people?

When that is said, I don’t wish to judge any sexual acts or desires, as inflicting shame into sexuality is another major sexual distortion. I’m finding this tricky, as I find myself feeling angry at the distorted masculine energy, which so often infiltrates my energetic field one way or the other. Of course, I intellectually know that I’m responsible for my own energetic field, but some of my emotions disagree, and need to be honoured and worked with patiently. So, I guess I’m letting parts of my own distortions out here now, to further the inquiry and support my own process of healing and alignment… If anyone has any thoughts around any of this, I’d be very interested to read!

Best wishes to all – and a sincere wish not to judge or inflict shame... <3

Hi Maria - how brave and courageous of you to share - not an easy subject at all, and probably one that many women experience or suffer. My heart goes out to you

All manner of projections go on in the field. Being reasonably prominant in exploring self-realisation, they are projected at me aswell. So I do empathise with what you're experiencing. Although the divine feminine has been violated in the ways you describe and oppresssed through distorted masculine ray 1, the disruptive energy underlying it has invaded the consciousness of men too. It's influenced but in a different way - those who try to control and manipulate are themselves manipulated at a consciousness level. I believe one of the key aspects we're dealing with that underpins it all, is what we might metaphorically call the "Black Snake" energy within society - what people call "satanic". I posted an article about it here today...

Fortunately we're in a place where that energy in society is now being well challenged as the divine feminine reclaims sovereignty and empowerment. I believe we saw it in the much publicised Hollywood abuse and oppression cases a short while back and also with what's happening in the 'corridors of power' right now. It's high time that energy was confronted and unravelled - I do believe we're seeing the early signs of that. Which is tremendous for everyone.

But how to deal with it on a personal level as you describe, especially as you become sensitive to what goes on in the field around you?

This kind of projectional behaviour is going to test us at the deepest levels. And how ever unpleasant, we can learn, evolve and grow as a soul through it. So always work to find the opportunity in it - to grow through it - I can feel you are doing that admirably

A key thing always is to look to the macrocosym and the paradox of life itself. Work to understand and find acceptance in this...

At the core level, you are The One - the divine presence from which absolutely everything emerges. And most importantly.... at that level, everything is moving within you. There is no separation. Therefore it's important we become able to accept this, in order that we find the One within.

And at the same time, you're a unique expression as a soul, with a purpose to self-determine and self-actualise. So the soul has boundaries through which to express. Hence the yearning for sovereignty and the sense of violation if unwelcome energies penetrate.

Over the years I've practiced a good deal of martial arts. But for me, in that regard, practice went through a quantum shift when I discovered how to blend the divine feminine into the discipline.

Some things jumped right out from ancient Shaolin Philosophy:

1) Become as nothing in the face of your opponent, give them nothing to oppose, and the attack will dissipate of its own accord. Meaning that in the energetic field, if you feel attacked or violated, work to become as nothing it it - as the presence of the One. That way, the energy has nothing to hook onto and will deplete itself. The physical will soon follow.

2) In the field, you learn how to blend and shift different of your own energies. Sometimes completely transparent and 'ghost' like - you can't even be seen. Sometimes you're making a definitive statement, taking a firm position - it's like practicing Aikido, you flow and dance like water, at other times crystallise into form. It becomes exceptionally difficult for controlling energies to deal with that degree of spontaneity and flexibility.

3) At an advanced level, you learn how to blend with an 'attack', become as-One with it by not resisting, but then giving it a shove in the direction it's already going. That means you'll always have that bit of extra power. This is not something that can necessarily be taught on an energetic level, you have to feel it yourself and explore.

Above all, know that this is about energy. If you are sensitive, then you have a great advantage. But it's then actively applying yourself to work within the energy field, where you can have the greatest effect.

The surface level is often about bravado and hyped up behaviour - but where things really count, is within the energy field itself.

I'm going through a lot internally recently in the last two weeks( awake regularly at 230 am etc.) . I have shared earlier that I have been feeling deeply into my hips recently . I couldn't ''see" them earlier ,but several session using deep stretch and crying and feeling into them later ,I am able to identify that there is still some density in the ball of the hip joint . I can see it very clearly and now attempt to connect with that ball of very densely tight energy .I was mulling over the fact that so many women have fractures in that area in old age and how that is perhaps the only way to release the crystallized energy in that bone A friend called just the next day asking for advice about her mother who had an accident and broke her hip .

I am attempting to harness the Kundalini energy as you describe. I think a great deal of fear and repression often derail my efforts ,but recently while self pleasuring I tried to bring the energy back as you put it. The surge of energy that went from my base to my heart chakra was off the charts . For the whole next day I was zinging. And the next day suddenly rediscovered my copy of Magdalene manuscript the sex magic of Isis by Tom Kenyon .

In the last week I am pushed into some deep density . I am feeling very disconnected and foggy and overwhelmed. So much stuff seems to have come up. I have to let go of the farm I was harvesting organic produce from in March- it wasn't feeling aligned for a while . Maybe it signifies other avenues to grow in inside and out . I have restarted my dance class as vigorous dance helps to ground the energies so much better ( and plus I love to dance !)

Just feels like I'm walking n the middle of what I like to think of as growth spurt complete with growing pains and all .

Hi Megha - good that you're getting into that level of density. Great work

My sense is that what you're encountering is a widespread issue for women in general. And it's to do with the way Homo Sapiens was engineered. The intervention experimented with a progressive range of genetic hybridisations. It was very much experimental, and in my knowing, countless times 'mistakes' happened. I believe it was more a case of learning by mistakes. So many women who were abducted into the program suffered greatly around child birth. Clearly, when you witness the challenges of birthing today, although you could say the intervention was 'successful' to some degree, nevertheless there are still many challenges related to child birth.

I would say the majority of women on the planet today, are carrying that karma. And it manifests in the kinds of ways you describe - problems with the hips, lower abdomen, uterus, overies etc etc. It's not at all easy I know, but neverthless it can be worked through. There are many tremendous womens groups the world over who're getting into that karma right now, often without necessarily knowing the cause, yet effectively dealing with the trauma anyway.

An Openhander in Budapest called Réka, I know is working with hundreds of women around the whole karmic challenge of child birth.

That actually makes sense . When my very old soul daughter was to be born ,I read all the books and did all the yoga and prepped myself for a vaginal birth . However at the last moment my uterus went into spasm and my daughter also seemed to get afraid . Her heartbeat dropped and I experienced birth with a tube in my mouth and under general anesthesia . It took me a long time to get over the guilt and shame of not doing this 'properly' . Now that I look back that fits in nicely with me blacking out as memories of traumatic births previously flooded my system .