Saturday, February 13

I'm not moving on

1. Quit my stressful job

2. Finally can get into IELTS

3. I'm healthy

4. Financially still OK

5. Getting ready for Japan in April

6. Considering Medical course

Everything goes on according to the plan I've always wanted to. But I'm in dread. I'm not mentally moving on. I am so tired that it affects me physically. During the period of Dec'15 - Jan'16, I struggle the worst time of myself. My mind was in a mess & refusal state where it made me so stress out. At that time, I even consumed herbalife formula 1 protein which increase anxiety in myself. I was basically so weak to eat, to walk & my body health is declining so badly I've admitted to emergency hospital. Experienced the worst palpitation & I couldn't breath properly. Its a contagious disease for my family as well. All the bad things happened to all my family. Dad, Mom, Bro & Me encounter such worst health all together in Goat year.

As the Monkey year approaching things turn off a new leave. I'm not saying I'm into fengshui. Its a saying that bad things were over when new year is here. As new year its a auspicious new beginning for our life to be even better. I still have a lot of things going on in my mind. I'm making a big decision out of my life. I'm deciding whether to get into medical studies or get IELTS to apply for work holiday visa. This is my biggest decision. Medical studies can make sure I'm able to get through migration as skilled workers, but I might need 3 years diploma to stress out more. As for IELTS work holiday visa were just a temporary escape for me to earn more $$ for travelling, but chances of getting it are even lower than 50%

My friends always said that I over think such small matters. I guess its so true that I'm over stressing. I wish I'm a carefree person that can decide anything without any worries in my life. I have too high expectation for the things I've wanted but so scared that I'm unable to do it. Story of my life. I always felt like I don't have time, not enough time, why is everyday moving so fast. Everyone says you are still young & you can do things you like, but as the time moving on without looking back things get serious. Old age, old body but at heart we are still a kid. We need time, even when it waits no one. I still need time to heal my health & trauma.

I just wish I made a right decision with a carefree mind with God's guidance. Keep calm & Pray!