One of the main storylines in this year's NBA Finals is the chase for a first ring by both LeBron James and Dirk Nowitzki.

While every NBA player is one who could put up crazy numbers in your average rec league, there are those who are NBA Champions just for riding the bench and waving a towel in support of their teammates. What we, as a Crew, decided to do was highlight 12 of those guys who just found themselves at the right place at the right time. Hopefully Charles Barkley, Allen Iverson and Reggie Miller never come across this list.

1. Randy Brown, 1995-98 Chicago Bulls -- Want to see the most awkward celebration in sports history? Look no further than the 1996 Bulls championship win. Jordan had come back and won a title on Father's Day. It was his moment. And this clown hopped off the bench and tried to grab the game ball. M.J. damn near gave Randy a tearful, heartfelt ass whoppin' for the ages. If you average four points a game, get your damn hands off of the ball.

2. Adam Morrison, 2009-10 Los Angeles Lakers -- When Morrison was lighting up college basketball, people knew he'd be a champion. They just didn't know it'd be like this. After a trade to the Lakers, The 'Stache stole two championships averaging a little more than two points. Morrison is like Dirk Nowitzki after the Monstars zap his powers to go beat Bugs Bunny's team.

3. Antoine Walker, 2005-06 Miami Heat -- By the time Antoine Walker joined the Miami Heat, his All-Star caliber days were long over. Dude was horribly out of shape, unmotivated and vastly overpaid. Hell, even his shimmy was lazy, no longer the excited, ridiculous full-body wiggle it once was, but a half-hearted imitation of its former glory. He coasted to a ring, but then things did not go well for 'Toine. He got robbed, went broke, got cut by the Puerto Rican team he was playing for and attempted a comeback in the D-League. Sounds like buddy angered the basketball gods by lazing his way to a title.

4. John Salley, 1995-96 Bulls and 1999-00 Lakers -- Here's what should piss off people without rings: Salley was just walking around the league picking up extra championships like they weren't anything. He already earned one, but came out of retirement to snatch extras while playing fewer than 10 minutes and earning two points. That's just greedy. It's like walking by Ruth's Chris after you've already had a full meal and them handing you a filet mignon right in front of a homeless guy. And that homeless guy's name is Charles Barkley.

5. Darko Milicic, 2003-04 Detroit Pistons -- Honestly, I think Darko Milicic gets a bad rap. Dude was just a bust, selected in the midst of some incredible players. But when you compare his actual production to the hype he received, then yeah, Darko deserves to be front-and-center on this list. Somehow, the number two pick in the draft played just 3.4 minutes a game for the Pistons in their championship season. Hard to be a major contributor when your primary concerns are avoiding splinters and listening to Darvin Ham's stories about his glory days.

6. Dickey Simpkins, 1995-97 Chicago Bulls -- Want to know why Wikipedia is unreliable? Simpkins' bio says that he "did earn two NBA championship rings in 1996 and 1997." Earn? EARN?! Dude wasn't even on the playoff roster! Though he averaged a measly two points and two rebounds during his tenure with the Bulls, that's not the most baffling stat of his career. His real name is LuBara Dixon Simpkins. So he chose to have people call him "Dickey."

7. Isiah "J.R." Rider, 2000-2001 Los Angeles Lakers -- This guy had potential something crazy during the mid-90's. You probably think his biggest accomplishments are winning the 1994 Slam Dunk Contest and becoming the inspiration for Dipset's J.R. Writer though. While those are both worthy feats (well, at least one of 'em), you are still sadly mistaken. Rider once stood at the top of basketball's Mount Olympus. How and why? All the planets were in alignment during the 2000-2001 season when he played alongside, get this, Shaq and Kobe! If you don't believe us, here's visual proof that it actually happened. He's the one in the suit. Yeah, he never made the Finals roster, but that's more than any of us can say, right?

8. Robert Parish, 1996-97 Chicago Bulls -- Let's not get it confused, Parish's rings with Beantown during the '80s are legit. We're not doubting that one bit. But many may or may not (betting on the latter) that The Chief was still sending out smoke signals as a member of the Bulls during the 1996 and 1997 seasons? He even started three games in 1997!

Somewhere in Orlando Patrick Ewing is wondering two things: How in the name of Times Square did he miss that layup? And why did the basketball gods grant Parish TWO rings in the 1990's when he couldn't even sniff one? Maybe Pat really is the Jan Brady of NBA big men.

9. Luke Walton, 2009 and 2010 Los Angeles Lakers -- It may not be too far of a comparison to say the Walton family is the NBA version of the Partridge's. Except they probably still smoke pounds and pounds of weed and reel off weird anecdotes detailing the similarities between basketball and The Beatles The White Album. Bill Walton was one of the most celebrated players ever coming out of UCLA and with the Trailblazers before injuries hindered his career. But he did give us Luke. A hybrid type player who actually averaged 11 points per game one year, but now only sees action when the game is out of hand or there are less than 45 seconds to go in the first half. His positive outlook on life and providing spiritual advice to Kobe has allowed him to stay with the Lakers and coast to two rings in the process.

Kiss the ring, b*tch!

10. Brian Scalabrine, 2007-2008 Boston Celtics -- Or as he has been affectionately named by the sports world, "Jackie Moon." Scal was Adam Morrison before Adam Morrison became what we know now as Adam Morrison; the first guy off the bench ready to slap hands and yell some positive reinforcement for his guys. And most of the time he'd do it all with his shirt tucked in his jeans. During the 2007-08 season, The Great White Hope averaged what Bill Russell probably did every 15 seconds by putting up two points and two rebounds over 48 games and still walked off with some jewelry come June. Don't crack on this guy in Beantown though, he is sports royalty.

11. The Whole 1993-1995 Houston Rockets Squad -- Yes, the Rockets had future legends Hakeem, Kenny Smith, Robert Horry and even perennial bad ass Vernon Maxwell. Unfortunately, they won their two titles during the non-Jordan years. It's like saying "Hey, I banged Jessica Simpson." The only difference is Mike banged the sexy Daisy Dukes version with the tig ol' bitties while the Rockets banged the 2009 version that kind of looked like Roseanne in Stein Mart mom jeans. M.J. has something to brag about. The Rockets? Not so much.

He's #35. The one standing beside Dennis Rodman.

12. Ralph Lews, 1989-1990 Detroit Pistons -- Chances are you wouldn't know Ralph Lewis if he came and smacked you in the face and said, "B*tch, I'm Ralph Lewis!" Your obvious response would be, "Who?" He's not Ralph Lauren. Hell, he's not even Ralphie from A Christmas Story. What he is, however, is a member of the 1989-1990 Detroit Pistons Bad Boys team that beat the Portland Trailblazers 4-1.

Lew had quite possibly the easiest road of all time to a NBA title. He averaged 0.0 points. Yep, if you and I get ourselves into good enough shape, impress one scout, sign with the right team at the right time, we, too, could be a world champion someday. P90X doesn't seem like such a bad idea, now does it?

Join The Discussion

Unfortunately, they won their two titles during the non-Jordan years. It’s like saying “Hey, I banged Jessica Simpson.” The only difference is Mike banged the sexy Daisy Dukes version with the tig ol’ bitties while the Rockets banged the 2009 version that kind of looked like Roseanne in Stein Mart mom jeans.

This.^ That’s cold, but so true…

06.09.11 at 2:02 pm

Big545

Don’t crack on this guy in Beantown though, he is sports royalty.
===
Could some in Boston explain why?

06.09.11 at 2:12 pm

Fremont's Finest

Sun Yue and Chris Mihm. Los Angeles Lakers 08-09 squad.

06.09.11 at 2:24 pm

Gunzoid

Because Scal had that true “team mentality”, he sat next the Doc whenever he could and it’s been said, by many in the league, that Scal has one of the highest basketball IQs in the big show. Example: Why do you think Thibs brought Scal to Boston? He is basically an assistant coach, but one who can play some minutes if needed.

I really don’t expect the rest of the country to give Scal credit, but anyone who’s watched him in the last 5 years knows that he is a value to his team – unlike most of these guys. And he is in no way comparable to Stache Morrison.

06.09.11 at 2:26 pm

Louis LaFlare

Brian Scalabrine is The White Mamba.

06.09.11 at 2:27 pm

Smarter

this entire list is hilarious, but the John Salley slide is classic!

Legitimately entertaining. Thanks, guys.

06.09.11 at 2:37 pm

Willie P

This list could go on for ages tho…lol

06.09.11 at 2:38 pm

Jsnatcher

Dope write up.. I forgot Robert Parish played for the Bulls.

06.09.11 at 2:55 pm

forest ILL

Why did Mark Madsen miss this list?

06.09.11 at 4:25 pm

S.Cadet

They tried but every time they wrote about him they ran Mark Madsen’s victory dance back in their heads.

It’s kind of difficult to write about the guy when you’re laughing while rolling on the floor. That’s why his slide never got finished.

06.09.11 at 4:48 pm

realnigga

Antione Walker played a vital role in that championship.

Antoine Walker has gotta be one of the most underrated players ever

06.09.11 at 4:51 pm

realnigga

need Bill Walton color commentary next year

06.09.11 at 4:59 pm

Shail

John Celestand. Mike Penberthy. Slava Medvedenko. All aka the random dude at the end of the Lakers bench.

06.09.11 at 5:04 pm

K. Strick a.k.a. Pacino

And now Antoine Walker gotta pawn his championship ring for food & shelter.

06.09.11 at 5:13 pm

yaboy

SCAL BABY FTW

06.09.11 at 5:27 pm

Willie P

Antione Walker played a vital role in that championship.
Antoine Walker has gotta be one of the most underrated players ever
———————————————–
Fuck him and that championship.

But while reading this I realized that the Bulls could have so many interchangeable players on this list.

06.09.11 at 5:48 pm

karlito

watched the clip of Mark Madsen. Proof enough LOL!

06.09.11 at 6:08 pm

black canseco

Luc Longley… Stacy King… Brad Sellers…. Jack Haley…

*pulls out hair in disgust and walks away*

06.09.11 at 6:11 pm

500K Flea

Could you guys fix the slideshow please? It keeps on fucking up on me.

@Gunzoid… I know what Scal brings to the table. But if you want to look at him as an assistant coach, then he was EXTREMELY overpaid for that in Boston. smh at the contract danny gave to him after his less than stellar days in NJ. But with that said I still like the guy, I just wish when he got into the game the fans wouldn’t get so excited, at some point it was just embarrassing.

But everyone needs to watch this to fully understand the greatness of scal:

06.09.11 at 7:37 pm

veego

Jason Caffey, got a $40 mill out of being a MJ-Dick rider. Jud Buechelr, his name is Judd Buechler!!!! Derek Anderson on that Heat team was WEAK too. Greg Kite was on that 84’s Celtics team, Greg Kite….Greg Kite.

06.09.11 at 7:44 pm

500K Flea

Finally went through this slideshow (thanks for fixing it!) and I DIED! LOL! Although the question remains: If a highly-skilled player (Iverson, LeBron, Rose) completes their NBA career with amazing stats, memorable performances, fame & fortune plus consistently makes it to the Playoffs BUT comes up short and does NOT achieve capturing an NBA championship, is the players’ career negated and all for naught? My ninjaz & I were arguing about this after LeBron had that dreadful Game 4; I said that he’s still a great player to which my homie retorted “He ain’t shit until he has a ring”. Thoughts?

Hmmmmmm Scal has a face I would love to sink my knuckles into also………. Fucking ginger.

06.10.11 at 10:08 am

joe

As a h-town fan – i know there where deff. some scrubs on those teams, but what about Sam Cassell and Clyde Drexler.

06.10.11 at 11:01 am

maurice garland

Salley got rings with the Pistons too dont he?

06.10.11 at 12:25 pm

destruction

I lost all respect for this article as soon as you mentioned Scalabrine. The man is not only a sports legend, but soon enough, will be a very important coach for the Bulls. I’ve started multiple MVP chants for him at the United Center and I think we all generally appreciate how great he really is.

Plus, his twitter alone is worthy of a ring.

06.11.11 at 1:18 am

fhatfuck

Don’t crack on this guy in Beantown though, he is sports royalty.
——————————————————–

i was going to say some harsh words before i read this lol

06.11.11 at 5:04 am

20Siccness

@Destruction MVP chants ? FUCKOUTTAHERE now if you think he’s a valuble asset to the team thats one thing but can WE please be honest Crakka just can’t ball.

06.11.11 at 6:33 pm

Bearcat44

He’s #35. The one standing beside Dennis Rodman.

That’s Scott Hastings.

Though Ralph Lewis was released by the Pistons before the 1990 playoffs, it’s possible that he got a ring.

06.12.11 at 1:57 am

thecool11o3

Morrison is like Dirk Nowitzki after the Monstars zap his powers to go beat Bugs Bunny’s team.

————

^^^^^.

06.12.11 at 12:02 pm

Ant

Adam Morrison has diabetes. That’s why he didn’t transition too well into the NBA. Shame.

06.12.11 at 1:22 pm

Biggga

Antoine helped that heat squad win that championship. I am an Antoine stan so my view on his will always be one sided. lol

Jack Haley needs honorable mention.

06.12.11 at 3:31 pm

Tto

Antoine Walker doesn’t belong on that list at all. Guy may not have been what he was during the Boston years, but he played in every game that season and still averaged in double figures….whether crabs like the one wanting to say fuck that whole championship want to accept it or not, he was important to the team and worked for his ring.

06.13.11 at 11:17 am

Joe

I love how people still complain that the Rockets rings “don’t count” but also wonder why Patrick Ewing never won a championship.

I know one reason Ewing never managed to win a championship: Hakeem Olajuwon and the Houston Rockets.

06.13.11 at 2:50 pm

TheRealKG

Jack Haley and the original towel-waver M.L. Carr need to be on this list

06.14.11 at 11:42 am

Latrell

“And why did the basketball gods grant Parish TWO rings in the 1990’s when he couldn’t even sniff one?”

Correction: Parish only got ONE ring in the 90’s.

06.19.11 at 11:34 pm

RocketFan!

You’re an HATER! Whether you like it or not that team were back to back champions so guess what THE ROCKETS RINGs do count!

06.20.11 at 6:39 pm

Big B

Dude, did you forget or do you even know that John “Spider” Salley was an integral part of Detroit’s back-to-back championships in 89-90. I’m from Detroit and I remember it like it was yesterday. Now as far as the ones you mentioned, I can’t argue with. LOL! But he did EARN 2 in Detroit.

06.21.11 at 10:44 am

Qdaddy615

It amazes me every time a jackass with a cable hook up, a laptop,some free time, and a history of scoring snowbird buckets on the scrub court at the rec seems to be obligated to spout off just how little they know about the greatest game on earth and the greatest most competitive league on earth. Play the game at a highly competitive level including practice and travel even at the NCAA DIII(3) level and maybe the hoop gods of respect might catch you slipping on help side and you get cranked on poster child style by common sense. Play the game then talk shit

06.24.11 at 12:10 pm

Areyouserious

So, let me get this straight: the Rockets defeat the Barkley-led Suns, Robinson-led Spurs, Ewing-led Knicks, Shaq-led Magic, won two titles in a row, were a spectacular matchup against the Bulls with Jordan, won their second title with Jordan in the league, and there should be an asterisk by their name?

Are you serious?

Should we also discount all championships that came after Jordan retired?

Yeah, I went ahead and made a list for you of all the teams you should get some asterisks for, since by your logic no title counts unless Michael Jordan is in the league to fight for it. Strangely NOT on the list…’95 Rockets? Sweet basketball knowledge, bro.