Long Distance Relationships In The Military

Stephen Blake, Author "Loving
Your Long Distance Relationship". Find out more about the "Loving Your
Long Distance Relationship" Series of books, or to order your own copy visit
Stephen Blake's website.
Read how others have survived the 'long distance' in their relationships. You're
not alone!

Article from the Loving Your
Long Distance Relationship archive

Well my story is this,

I was home on leave from just finishing up at the fire academy in Texas which
completed my Air Force Fire Fighting technical training. It was pretty long
and hard but I did it, oh yeah I was 1 of only 3 females in about 700 males at
the school. I am now in England as a fire fighter but am the only female here,
so my life is challenged enough as it is...anyways I met this guy when I was
home that was a friend of my best friend, he was in the Marines and recently
got out.

When we met we both clicked, but I kept my
distance and didn't let him know how I felt cause I knew I only had a few more
weeks at home in California then I would have to report to my duty station in
England. It was hard enough leaving my friends behind and I had just gotten
over a long 2 and a half year relationship. Anyways the guy and I hung out the
whole time I was home and when I left he stayed in contact with me and we
talked now and again...the months went by and his devotion to me was so heart
warming, I could tell how much he cared, and it didn't seem to matter to him I
was far away and couldn't be around him.

One day in the mail I received his dog tags! I was so happy I put them on and
have not taken them off since. So I sent him mine too...he now wears them and
hasn't taken them off. We finally both started talking often and I gave in
when he bashfully asked me to be his over the phone. We have known each other
since 24 Nov 02 and have been talking since, we started dating long distance
over the phone 03 Apr 03 and I got to go home in May for 3 weeks on leave to
see him. It was the best time ever, we truly click in a way that I know he is
the one I have been looking for to travel down this path called life.

We are so devoted to each other and respectful
it's nuts! I know have been back home for a full month since I last saw him
and it's sooo hard, we love each other sooo much, but I have to do my job to
secure my future and it's sorta funny cause I am the female in the
relationship yet I am the one in the military (now cause he was a marine,
which helps him understand what I am going through) and I am a fire fighter
which is normally a male job.

I am the one that had to leave him behind and he always jokes how he feels
like the chick in the relationship, anyways we both have been looking for each
other for so long and now that we found each other the timing really sux cause
it's so hard to be apart. I call him ever other day cause as a fire fighter I
work 24 hour shifts, and there is a time difference so I go to bed early so I
can wake up around 1 in the morning my time and usually spend 4 hours on the
phone.

I hate being apart and he hates it to, but I don't
know what else to do so that is how I found this site, seeking long distance
relationship advice to help us through. Plus I will be going to Iraq soon and
I know that is going to be a really hard time for us, especially since I will
be one of the few females there, I know he will be worried, so I want to help
make us as strong as I can before I go.

Prior to becoming an item I'd invited him round to
my house for dinner and during dessert and a chat with my mother we discovered
that one of his best friends (in Holland) is the son of an old friend who my
mother once worked with many moons ago (what a small world!). So that
certainly broke the ice and almost suggested that there was something quite
special between us.

So since then we are still living apart. Let me explain. Just before we met,
Doron had enrolled on a 4-year hotel and management course in one of the top
hotel schools in Europe. So, what with our many backward and forward visits I
decided to leave my last job January 2003 and find a job in Amsterdam. My hunt
was unsuccessful and me not working and being without friends did put an
unwanted strain on our relationship. So after 2 months (financially I couldn't
stay longer and pay rent there) I decided to come back to London in March
2003. I have now found myself a great job with prospects in London and have no
intentions to leave for along time. So it has been a difficult time.
Fortunately Doron is coming to London in 3 weeks to do 6 months work
experience here, which I am so looking forward to but after that things are
unclear. We got engaged last August but both know that it will be a while
before we can settle down. He'll have another 2 and half years left of his
course when he goes back to Holland next Jan so there's still a tough time
ahead.

I think the hardest thing has been that I've seen many of my friends settle
down in comfy relationships and move out of their parental home and I can't do
all of that yet. There are so many things to consider. Essentially I still
feel single, my single mates consider me as one of them and often want me to
go clubbing but I only really see that as a place to meet a partner or go
occasionally for someone's birthday. As an engaged couple we haven't shared
everyday experiences like other couples do. Yes we've argued and gone through
periods of uncertainty about our future but we haven't paid bills or had late
nights and early mornings for work together yet. There are times when I may
have had a crappy day at work or felt down about something and obviously with
a long distance relationship there isn't the spontaneity of sharing it with
your partner, these are all things we have discussed.

Some might wonder why we got engaged and how do I know I want to spend the
rest of my life with this guy and vice versa. It's something we've talked
about a lot and also given one another the option to back out of but it all
comes down to a few simple things. We're soul mates there's an unspoken
feeling between us that says that there is no one else. We both couldn't
imagine sharing our lives with anyone else but each other. We are often
frustrated at the distance but equally excited about our future together as
man and wife and all the things that come along with that.

There was time in the beginning when I'd be out with friends and spot a
handsome guy in a bar or restaurant and think mmm ... nice, now I think nice
looking but I'll stick with the most amazing guy! (Well almost amazing!)

Michelle, United Kingdom

-------------------------------------------------------------------If you have a Long Distance Relationship Love Story, publish it today by
clicking here. Find out about the "Loving Your Long Distance Relationship"
Series of books from
Stephen Blake's website.