The Dangers of Self-Preservation

We all like to survive. Survival is a good thing. And humans have a hereditary self-preservation mechanism to protect our survival. But sometimes that survival mechanism actually becomes harmful to you…

Here’s why:

Of course your self-preservation instinct is there to protect you from danger. But it does more.

It also wants to protect you from pain. It moves you away form things you perceive as painful, and moves you toward things you perceive as pleasurable. And some of those things you see as painful probably include failure, embarrassment and humiliation. And we live in a society that offers lots of opportunities for failure, embarrassment and humiliation.

Think you might fail at something? Good chance you won’t even try it. Are you afraid if you try something big you may face embarrassment or ridicule? Your self-preservation reflex may suggest to your subconscious mind that it’s a bad idea.

One of the secrets of success is doing the critical thinking and use your conscious mind to override the self-preservation mechanism of your subconscious mind to avoid pain.

So how you doing on that? Please share your results, and next post I’ll reveal the ways I do this.

BTW, let me take this chance to thank all you guys that tweet, like, and otherwise share these posts around the social media world. I appreciate all you do to spread the word. This blog has become such a popular and vibrant community because of YOU!

RG,It is amazing how you hit the nail on the head. When I was dealing with some addiction problems (thank God I don't gamble, there are no more nights left for new meetings.) a therapist explained to me that the addiction and obsessions saved me. I couldn't fathom that this was saving me. She explained that had I not drank, smoked, acted out sexually that I probably would have killed myself. That the pain was too great and it moved me away from it.I realize that pain is just an emotion and is not real. I can't go back and all I have is now. This moves me (in baby steps) sometimes to go forward, because I really can't get hurt. On

One thing I have done over the last 2 years is take an acting class. It is a workshop. So when the scene isn't great and it appears I am not getting it; than I practice, rehearse and realize I am living my passion and it is Ok to not be perfect.

The thing that helps me to step out there and take risks is that I know that what people think has very little to do with what I am going to do. I no longer care what people think, and if I believe in something, I'm stepping out. Failure is just stepping stones to success. As Brian Tracy says, "Unless you're willing to have a go, fail miserably, and have another go, success won't happen."

Great article RG!It somewhat reminds me of what I read in the book, Compassionate Samurai this week:"People who have caring hearts, but lack courage to accomplish results are also self centered. They hide their insecurities as noble, caring more about their comfort than the suffering of others. This leads to a judgmental attitude, with no accountability."

When I first read it i thought, "Burn" but it totally makes sense. We cower as shy; too easy going; or not being a leader, when all the while we are only selfishly sabotaging ourselves or as you state, "self-preserving."

It's a continual process of getting out of your comfort zone. As you reach higher levels of thought, achievement, lifestyle, the tendency is to become comfortable and stay at that level. You need to consciously force yourself to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Randy, you ask how we "use your conscious mind to override the self-preservation mechanism of your subconscious mind to avoid pain"I believe that there are subc. ideas & beliefs that connect "pain" with certain stimuli; eg, "It's dangerous for me to speak my truth to men" I created that connection, men=danger, as a small child, and was completely unaware--unconscious!--that I'd done so.Guess what - there are no men in my network marketing group.The solution for me is not to "over-ride" but to Become Aware. I use my conscious mind to look at What's Going On in my Life. From that, I can extrapolate the hidden connections (pain=____) When I'm aware of the connection, and aware of it's absurdity, it very quickly falls away.My father=danger&pain, but it is pretty silly to continue acting as if all men=d&p.

Elaineps. God didn't make a mistake when he gave us an Ego. The Ego is not inherently bad. That's just a silly connection we've made, Ego=danger. For me, Ego is a useful tool.

This is one of the main concepts that paralyzes people in all areas of their lives. It manifests into things like avoidance, fear, procrastination, etc.The way that I like to handle this is to challenge myself to new experiences as much as possible, to surround myself with people who are stepping out of what I perceive to be my comfort zone, and to really examine what is going on for me when I notice myself procrastinating, avoiding, etc. I use affirmations and accountability as well.Thank you so much Randy for keeping the great information coming - even while you're traveling the world! :)

Randy. Excellent! Very good post! Yes when I am agree 100%. I didn't know that. Good one. The good thing is to know whats is going on in our minds, te see what chip is no correct and chenge it. With time and if we what we can change everything. What I will do here in my town is to start coaching process to see the fears that keep me back. Thanks Randy

It takes a lot of work to get rid of these controlling survival mechanisms in the subconscious mind, but when you succeed getting to the core of it, which you do by contacting or confronting them, they have no power over you anymore, and you can again act freely and analytically. You restore the power of choice. I'm not just speaking theoretically, I have experienced this myself, and have observed a lot of people I know well doing this. It works.

Gets me how we keep getting sucked in and believing that seductive little fear-based ego. More survival skills than a kangaroo in a Queensland flood, I've found. Every now and again the light gets through - thanks Randy - and I love your comment Deborah.@catherinepb

Oh God Randy, you've hit on such a core issue here. Absolutely the truth, that our comfort zone (ruled by the subconscious) is designed to keep us safe. And it will use every means possible to keep us from venturing into the unknown.

But, if you understand how this works. If you can see the insidious nature of it, you can push your way through the fear based thoughts - through the chaos, confusion and upset it throws at you - to the other side... where the truth lives.

Because the truth is, you CAN do what it is you fear. You are designed for growth.

Here's what I know: ACTION overcomes all fear.

To force myself to take action, I use a coach OR an accountability partner. Not a spouse (who will typically be way too easy on me), but someone who will challenge me, and hold my feet to the fire. In other words, it's gotta hurt more to disappoint THEM, that it would hurt to disappoint myself.

Thanks Randy for inspiring such important discussion. Here's to growth for all of us!

I think even more detrimental than self-preservation is people's "need for approval." This is typically going on sub-consciously and holds us back in so many ways. This is particularly harmful in sales where most sales people would rather have their emotional needs met by being "liked" instead of qualifying/disqualifying prospects and going for a "no." Need for approval is a killer in network marketing as people succumb to the rejection and attrition. You're in business to go to the bank, not to have your emotional needs met. I am fortunate, as are some others, to be in a business where I make lots of money and have huge psychic income from the service provided. Getting paid is more important as there are lots of ways to have my emotional needs satisfied. Ask yourself, as I do, where is my need for approval holding me back in my life? Good thing to journal on.

I think we're talking about 2 different things here: the self-preservation of life and the self-preservation of the Ego. The Ego must die every day and I agree that is a painful experience. But the self-preservation of life gives us the courage to try new things and grow as human beings, and it will give us more awareness of ourselves and the world.