As the waning half moon rises, we get closer to this day that evokes Eros. This phase of the moon is a time for turning inward, reflecting and releasing. In the previous reflection titled “Reclaim the Sanctity of Sexuality and Exercise your Erotic Sovereignty” our reflection was focused on uncovering how the dominant paradigm impacts the way we relate to our sexual nature.

With this, I invite us to take this exploration down and out, using the current conversation sparked by the #metoo movement to identify the key tenets of the dominant sex/power paradigm that are most entrenched in us. This is important because, if we desire the paradigm to shift, we must realize it within ourselves.

This Half Moon in Scorpio, the archetype of sex, power, death and transformation, is illuminated by the Sun in Aquarius, the archetypal liberating norm defier. Thus, it is an auspicious time to turn our relationship with sex and power on its head and ask specifically what old ideas must die to transform what disempowers us into fuel for sexual fulfillment that honors ourselves and our partners.

The #metoo movement and subsequent debates are drawing more perspectives and voices into a conversation that is millenniums overdue. Like many women, I have a #metoo story living in my bones and I certainly relate to some of the more subtler, but equally disturbing aspects of sexual dynamics that are coming to light in this conversation.

In the face of countless accounts of individuals feeling intimidated to report harassment in the workplace and the appalling statistics that reveal how much shaming, blaming and silencing of young women occurs on college campuses, the conversation is often centered around distributing blame, shame and simultaneously normalizing as much of the situation as possible and framing them as out of the norm.

When what really needs to happen is to get to the cause, to work at the root, in order to create a cultural understanding that centers around personal sexual sovereignty for all individuals, equally. In a sexual paradigm based in patriarchy and sexual repression as an expression of religious doctrine, it can be challenging to climb out from under the dominant dogma to start a different dialogue.However, that is exactly what is needed to begin to work at the level of cause rather than effect.

In this moment of #metoo we can support a change of paradigm. We can take this moment to exorcise the dominant paradigm from our psyche and retrofit our personal paradigm to embody what we want to see reflected in the world. We can do the inner work to hone a lived understanding of what sex means to us. Thus, we can share with clarity and confidence, embodying a new paradigm.

Each point of view in this debate offers powerful fuel for reflection, release and transformation. Looking at what perspectives and stories trigger an emotional response or strong opinion can help you identify what perverse and objectifying norms you have internalized.

Take some time to reflect upon what aspects of this debate live in you, your relationship to your partner and in how you contribute to the context in which is unfolding.

What is your relationship with the coverage of the #metoo movement?

Are you drawn to it, feel neutral about it or repelled from it, why?

Is it triggering strong feelings?

Are you judging women who are sharing their stories?

If so, take a moment to reflect on the underlying assumptions that inform this judgement?

Have you put up with sexually aggressive behavior that impacts your ability to feel fully empowered to own your sexual desire?

Have you stuffed down pain, displeasure and discomfort in order for your partner to orgasm?

If so, have you shared this with your partner?

Are you in open to sensitive dialogue with your partner about what you feel and need with respect to sex?

Reflecting upon what comes up for you, craft a statement that articulates a healthy sexual paradigm that honors the sovereignty of each person over their bodies.

Describe what role and responsibility you have in living in a way and communicating in a way about sex that would support this paradigm.