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"The face of the operation is Briatore (referred to exclusively in the film by his colleagues and angry, chanting detractors as "Flavio"), an anthropomorphic radish who spends most of his time at QPR plotting to fire all of the managers."

At press time, Harbaugh had sent Michigan’s athletic department an envelope containing a heavily annotated seating chart, a list of the 63,000 seat views he had found unsatisfactory, and a glowing 70-page report on section 25, row 12, seat 9, which he claimed is “exactly what the great sport of football is all about.”

Welcome To The Successories Conference

When Twitter blew up at noon I figured something inane involving Jim Delany had just happened—this is my default assumption whenever Twitter blows up and has always been right, even when Michael Jackson died—and good lord, inane doesn't even begin to cover it. You know this by now but to remind you that the people in charge of marketing the Big Ten are either very stupid or think you are very stupid, the Big Ten Divisions are called "Legends" and "Leaders."

So. A group of people responsible for turning the Big Ten Network into a spigot of filthy lucre so gushing it can afford to employ Chris Martin is also responsible for making the Big Ten the Successories Conference. They've created division names that signify nothing about the teams inside of them—the only way I can remember that Michigan is in the "Legends" division is that "Leaders" is part of the friggin' fight song and we're not in that division. Their inane names don't just start with the same letter, they start with the same two letters. They are unusable.

And they've done this with 15 minutes in photoshop:

Note the use of negative space. Also note how stupid it looks.

By comparison, the new Pac-10 logo would look badass on any soccer shirt in the world:

How can the same group of people responsible for creating the BTN be responsible for this? Obviously the visionary bits of the BTN arrangement come from Fox, with Delany and company the lucky nomads who parked their camels in the right bit of desert and now get to call themselves an emirate.

Policy

These division names do not exist. I'm not using them. Michigan is in the West. Ohio State is in the East. Wisconsin has to deal. It is immediately obvious which teams are in the West—the ones mostly in the west. Michigan can be Champions of the West, and no one has to think about how leadership is more about character than authority.

Can we make this a blogosphere-wide insurrection? Please? Everyone just use "East" and "West."

Remember when you'd go in your room and imagine that instead of a broken down tricycle you had a flying unicorn that could take you away from mommy and daddy's screaming? Yeah, this will be like that.

BONUS: someone on the twitters said "I'm pretty sure an ordinary @MGoBlog thread could have produced better logo options," which is true. So do it either in the comments or by email and I'll pull up the best five and we can vote on the Unofficial Big Ten Logo; I hope I can work out a deal with the winner so we can offer it to the conference for free, if only to shame them.

In 20 years, when the bubble that is college football popularity has collapsed, and this blog is dedicated to lacrosse or soccer or whatever the hell rises up, we can point to today as day 0. Just awful, and makes me want to not be a fan a little bit.

I'm 99.9% sure there isn't one and there isn't supposed to be one. I'm not being sarcastic - I don't think a "2" is intended anywhere. The only visual cutesiness is the "G" which is supposed to double as a zero...I think.

If anyone can see an embedded "12", can you please try to explain how to find it? I need to be studying for a final, but I've commited myself to staring at the fucking screen until I see a "12", so help is appreciated.

Every single one of these is better than Leaders and Legends. If only the Big Ten had hired your marketing firm and had the same lavish budget at its disposal, I'm sure it could have done just as well as you . . . .