MY HECTIC HOME: To each their own (tasks)

The other night during dinner, as we struggled with the routine problem of getting Big Brother to sit still for a few minutes while the rest of the family finishes supper (he inhales his food), Husband had a lightbulb moment.

“While you wait for dinnertime to end, you can clear the table!” he announced. I could’ve kissed him. What a brilliant idea!

It took a little explaining, but he worked away and before he knew it, the job was done and he was quite pleased with the finished product. We patted him on the back of course and thanked him for his help, which he loved. All the while, my wheels were turning. What else can we get them to help with?

We’ve always struggled with the chores concept. As the kids get older (they’re now six-and-a-half and four-and-a-half), it only seems natural that they pick up some of the household duties. I’ve even blogged about it before … more than once, actually. But we’ve never been able to find a strategy that sticks. Don’t get me wrong – they help. But I’m realizing that they’re old enough to have their own jobs.

I think what I need to be rid of is the fanfare. There doesn’t need to be a fancy chart that needs to be updated (avoiding make-work projects is exactly why I don’t partake in Elf on the Shelf). As far as I can remember, I don’t think I was ever paid to do chores. The expectation was that I helped with laundry, cleaned my room, set the table and whatever else (I mean, I didn’t do them well or without lots of nagging, but you get the point). My helping the household wasn’t in exchange for money in the form of allowance. This is how I imagine things to be in an ideal world. Life is expensive and our kids don’t want for much of anything, so it doesn’t seem unreasonable that they should help out to earn their many privileges. Right? In the same way that we threaten (Is there a nicer word? Even though that is really what we’re doing) to take privileges away for untoward behaviour, the same goes for earning. There are upsides and downsides to whether they want to be active helpers. Ultimately, I want them to feel that we are a team and we should all work together. Plus, by doing so, it helps to free mum and dad up for more play time if they’re spending less time doing all of the chores.

Big Brother already feeds the cat regularly and hauls dirty clothes to the laundry room. He’s also very attentive to help with unloading groceries from the car. Little brother doesn’t have as many specific tasks and likes to say “I don’t want to” when asked to pick up his toys, but it’s becoming the norm that he’s not allowed to start playing with something else until he’s cleaned his last mess up, so he’s complying more readily. He’s responsible for his own space in their shared bedroom, too, which he dutifully organizes regularly. Slowly but surely, they’re taking ownership of their own special tasks and we’re starting to feel a bit of the benefit.

I’m excited that, as the cook, I’ll be able to sit back as the supper mess is cleaned up for me by my kids. I dare not tell him the rule is that the cook doesn’t clean or he might be looking to trade jobs with me … and we might end up have a lot of PB&J for dinner.