Mike Drew

December 1999

Come out where you are. Come out where you feel comfortable. For
me computer geekdom was great, and I came out. I'm a gay computer
technician and people know that, I'm sure. I don't dress that nice on
a day-to-day basis. I don't match and sometimes wear the same pair of
shorts two days in a row (oops) but it doesn't matter, they are
always clean. So I came out like that. My non-refined look is a
product of absentmindedness and just plain laziness, but still with
my sloppy hair, and half shaven face I looked my parents in the eyes
and said I'm gay. My voice is way down low and has proven to be one
of the main reasons I'm considered straight most of the time. Which
seems ridiculous I know. My friends are all guys, minus three. But
most of the time I hang out with guys, straight ones. They always
call me the straightest one of all of us.

All my life I saw gay people as everything I wasn't. I didn't like
to shop, I don't make funny hand gestures, I'm not into acting. But
growing up I saw this, and I equated that as being gay. I looked in
the mirror when I was in my early teens and saw a gay boy and I was
scared that I would become what I so didn't fit into. So I grew and a
couple of years ago when I finally told my parents they were
surprised. When I told my best friend, he was surprised. They said,
but you don't act gay. And when I slapped a rainbow triangle in the
back window of my '67 red mustang (which I actually do work on (a
little)) my neighbors, co workers, and friends were also surprised.
Maybe because of my deep voice, maybe because of my sloppy look, or
perhaps because I was not what they saw as what a gay person should
be.

This is why every gay person when they choose to come out must
come out where they are. Don't run away and just be another face in
the "gay" part of town. Don't come out only to your gay friends. Make
it known that gay people exist in every city , every profession and
in every walk of life. Remove the awe from the gay community and let
the other 90% of the people know we are them, they are us.