South African Tourism

[FONT=&quot]These questions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner.[/FONT]

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Q: Does it ever get rainy in South Africa ? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? ( UK )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres. Take lots of water...
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Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa ? ( Sweden )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa ? Can you send me a List of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? ( UK )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: What did your last slave die of?
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Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa ? ( USA )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not.... Oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is north in South Africa ? ( USA )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa ? ( UK )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
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Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa ? ( France )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: No, WE don't stink.
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Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population Is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa ? ( France )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa ? ( Germany )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.
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Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegetarian hunter- gatherers. Milk Is illegal.
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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? ( USA )[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. [/FONT]