Road rage is getting worse – and more dangerous

Road rage is a problem, but the best thing to do is to just let it go.

Supplied, Fotolia

Statistics indicate road rage incidents are increasing every year, but why are we so angry?

by
Lorraine Sommerfeld | February 1, 2016

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We’re a snippy, short-tempered lot. Road rage statistics continue to rise, though it isn’t really a new thing. A State Farm survey last year found one in three drivers self-reported engaging in road rage-ish behaviour, most commonly triggered by tailgaters and distracted drivers.

A lovely young woman I know spent a few minutes explaining her drive into work during a recent snow storm. She said the highway was in terrible shape, but by sticking to the inside lane, she felt most comfortable. She also said she had a big rig sitting on her bumper the entire 40-kilometre drive.

“I thought, I don’t care how angry you are, I’m not moving. I decided I’d just show him that he couldn’t make me move,” she finished. My mouth fell open. I very calmly asked her to never, ever do that again. Regardless of conditions, you are never going to teach another driver a lesson. You just aren’t. If they’re angry or stupid or reckless, just get out of their way and let them go. A standoff on a busy highway is just as dangerous as one at the O.K. Corral.

Parking lot rage: also real. I found a headline that said people “suffer” from road rage. Oh, please. People choose the behaviour as surely as they choose another beer or another doughnut. You suffer from cancer, you don’t suffer from road rage.

When did we get so hateful on our roads? Experts blame everything from road conditions to sheer volume of cars. Non-stop construction on aging infrastructures has added time to commutes; an economy that shifts faster than a game of three-card Monte makes it even tougher for people to know for any length of time what that commute might be.

I think the shift goes deeper, however, than people just being stressed or angry. We’re seeing not just an extension of the tension in our lives, but the anonymity in them. We’re becoming more accustomed to moving through the world with a false face, or at least a hidden one. Many news organizations are finally suspending comments on their sites because they can’t keep up with the vitriol: the anonymous, cowardly darts from those who feel safe acting in ways they would never put their name to. When a driver gives in to some deep-seated rage and acts on it, it’s surely because he or she believes there will never be a reckoning. Like a computer, a car supplies a barrier, a shield from decent behaviour and repercussions.

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Psychiatry has a name for those road rage events that make headlines, where people get out and stab each other or follow each other home to carry on the fight – Intermittent Explosive Disorder, it’s called. Is it lost on no one that IED also stands for an Improvised Explosive Device in the theatre of war? IED (the road rage kind) is dangerous because it can apparently happen in people who character witnesses will repeatedly call – later – the Nicest Guy/Girl in the World. Statistics indicate that road rage incidents are increasing every year, everywhere. They’re also getting more threatening and more violent.

Who whips bricks at windows and pepper sprays two-year-olds? Canadian road ragers, that’s who. Studies conducted in the U.S. often mirror many parts of Canadian life, and their road rage analyses should give you pause: The most recent numbers from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration attribute 66 per cent of traffic fatalities to aggressive driving, and 37 percent of aggressive driving reports involve a firearm. Canadians throw bricks and pepper spray apparently only because we don’t have guns.

Dr. Cheval Chez-Roy Birchwood is a clinical psychologist in Burlington, Ontario, with some important advice to anyone who finds themselves in a courtroom because of those extreme road rage events. “The courts will refer you to forensic psychologists; they take this very seriously, and assessment and treatment is not just some counselling sessions.”

The good news? In his practice, those who are self-referred – those who recognize they have an anger issue and want to change it – generally experience excellent outcomes. “We can locate cognitive distortions – why an action on the road is triggering the rage.”

He makes an important point that there is a very fine line between anger and fear, and frequently, your rage that someone has just cut you off is actually a reaction to the fear or vulnerability that came with being close to being harmed. “Adrenaline works the same in both situations,” he notes.

If you come across someone who does something stupid or dangerous in error, you don’t get to kill them or beat them up. If they could apologize, you might stop wanting to. And if you come across someone challenging you to a game of road idiot, just stay away. You win by not engaging. This is, ultimately, the only answer to road rage: Don’t play. If you want to remove an idiot from the road, don’t be an idiot.

If you’re a bit of a rager, you should keep something else in mind. There is nothing more terrifying than being trapped in a car with a driver who decides to teach someone a lesson. And there is no one that terrifies more than children. If your spouse goes ballistic behind the wheel, you have a problem. They’re not only endangering themselves and everyone on the road, they’re teaching your children that this is an acceptable way to be.

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My father was, for the most part, a great driver. But when he got angry, we were all held captive in the car that Nobody Was Allowed to Pass. My mother would beg him to stop, then she’d start silent prayers in case she made him even angrier. This was over 40 years ago and to this day, I think of it every time someone makes me angry on the highway.

Chez-Roy Birchwood admits that being the passenger with someone driving enraged is tricky. “You need to deescalate that person, tough to do if you yourself are scared. Stay calm, and try to change the thought process; admit to them they are scaring you. Sometimes admitting vulnerability can flip a switch in someone who cares about you.” He admits you become a hostage negotiator of sorts, and you’re the hostage.

Not a great memory to leave your kid with, no matter how much they love you.