Yesterday, my teammate’s mom mentioned a BK employee pushing a bacon sundae on her (which she posted to Facebook since she knew of my love for local Momo’s Donuts’ maple-bacon doughnuts – available only on weekends!).

I had never heard of such a thing! And, of course, I couldn’t let another day go by… So, lunchtime took Daphne and me to our local Burger King, where they happened to also be featuring a buy one/get one free promotion on their classic chicken sandwiches.

One of the “barbecue” summer items they had advertised was a pulled pork sandwich, which Daphne wanted. Apparently that is discontinued, even though it’s still being advertised in the store.

Back to the sundae. Here it is from the BK promotional material.

Here is what I got.

Yeah, buddy!

The bacon appeared slightly overcooked, but it worked perfectly with the ice cream, because it was crunchy throughout. Had it still been somewhat chewy, it would have been as icky as some people think the bacon/ice cream combo sounds.

Also, I didn’t have any little chunks of bacon. All of mine was pretty much one- to three-inch strips of crispy, meaty goodness.

Like this one, coated in chocolate.

In case you know nothing about this brilliant concoction, it’s ice cream, hot fudge sauce, caramel, and bacon. So, basically, the bacon does serve as a nut replacement, and I prefer it. The saltiness of the bacon works with the caramel (anyone tried any sea salt caramel?), and bacon and chocolate are just a perfect combination, anyway. Put them all together with ice cream, and, well…

Yeah. I would have licked the bowl, were that physically possible.

I even ate the whole sundae before I tackled another new BK offering: sweet potato fries!

Very yummy. Too salty toward the bottom, and I ADORE salt. Maybe it was a fluke. No extra charge for this mini-review, folks!

My hair is naturally fairly oily, but since I bleached (fried) it last summer for Harry Potter, the ends are crispy and prone to increased damage. This and time constraints mean that some days, I just can’t/don’t want to wash my hair every single day.

I have tried a couple of dry shampoos, and wasn’t too impressed. It should go without saying, if you follow this blog or know me at all, that I haven’t tried the $25 variety; we’re talking CVS/grocery store purchases here.

Anyway, most recently, I purchased this:

The way this works is a lot like Carpet Fresh, except that instead of sprinkling it on your carpet, you spray it onto your scalp. But, just like Carpet Fresh, you have to leave it for a bit so it can “soak up” the oil and odor.

See the powdery stuff?

To keep the sprayer from clogging and to make sure that everything (like the clay) comes out, you need to shake the can repeatedly during the application.

All done!

Next, you do something for a couple of minutes. I recommend washing your face, cleaning out the cat box, singing karaoke, or eating the last piece of Amish fudge.

After that, you just brush your hair. First of all, it will smell a lot better than it did before, unless you slept in a literal bed of roses. Also, check out how much more body the roots have! No oil loading it down and making it look dirty for Day Two!

The picture on the right is the one I took after just brushing this morning. It doesn’t look too bad right this moment, but later in the day, it’d be matted and oily. The picture on the left is the one after I sprayed. I hadn’t styled yet, but you can see a difference in the volume and lightness. Love it!

My friend’s birthday is Monday. I asked him what kind of cake he wanted, because that’s what I do, you see… I supply baked goods for special occasions. Without that, what do I have? “I mean, besides my radiant good looks and effervescent personality?” (to quote my “sister” in the play)

Well, for some ridiculous reason, my friend has recently taken an interest in eating more healthy and blah blah blah boring cake-rejecting whatever, and in the end, he acquiesced that if I *did* make a cake, he’d prefer it be a small one.

Hmmph. What use is a small cake?

Then, inspiration hit! I remembered something I’d seen in D’s book “Tiny Treats.”

I went to work. First step (and, in my opinion, the most important): Make frosting!

Let’s take a moment, shall we?

*sigh*

Moving on.

We’re preparing to make a VERY small cake. So I wrapped a left-over Halloween paper plate in foil for presentation’s sake. Then I assembled the main portion of the “cake.”

That’s right: Pop Tarts.

Brown sugar Pop Tarts, to be specific. This is when it helps to have right tools for the right job. See my camera and my un-made-up face in the reflection?

First, a little frosting “glue” on the plate.

Put down the first layer, and frost it to make the top flat. (Note my icing “glue” in use on the top corner.)

Add the top layer, icing side down. Then frost the whole thing.

Piping on something this small is a challenge!

Now, Michael’s birthday isn’t until Monday, but that’s perfect. This needs to sit at least 24 hours so that the Pop-Tarts absorb some of the moisture from the icing and it gets cake-like and can actually be cut.

So, basically, this will end up being like a fairly generous slice of cake, but when cut into, it will have several pretty layers. A perfect compromise?

Twink Futrelle, my character in “Southern Hospitality” (and “Christmas Belles” and “Dearly Beloved”) is obsessed with getting married. She has been for more than 22 years, a “hobby” that has made someone who is supposedly altruistic, determined, and professional, just the slightest bit manic and crazy.

Props for this installment of the trilogy include wedding magazines. The two that were purchased are both Texas-themed bridal magazines. I had no idea there even was such a thing.

For what it’s worth, The Knot is slicker and seems to have fewer (or perhaps just less tacky) advertisements.

Flipping through these during one scene of the play, I am tempted to be distracted by horror, as I realize how much these tablescapes and those invitations and that venue rental must have cost. Even more so, I am agog at how there can be an entire enterprise of this caliber dedicated to a party that lasts two or three hours. (And don’t throw out “destination wedding” as an argument that it can last as long as a week, because you don’t want to get me started on having someone spend their one week of annual vacation going somewhere they didn’t choose just so they can watch YOU tie the knot.)

Obviously, these magazines are catering to the ladies. The advertisements all feature “grooms” (mostly gay or at the very least exceptionally metrosexual) gazing all gooey-eyed at the bride, while she looks knowingly at the camera, as if to say, “Yep! I got exactly what I wanted.” Also, in so many of the photo ideas and instructions, I noticed a bunch of pictures of the brides alone, out in a field, sitting in a bathtub in the middle of an abandoned road (because that happens ALL of the time), jumping off of a rusty caboose, carrying unconscious children from a burning building, etc. There aren’t a whole lot of photos of similarly-situated grooms. I can just picture that: The groom, in an old-fashioned candy shop, with the photographer telling him to lick the over-sized lollipop while glancing coquettishly into the lens.

Here are some more things that just make me want to slam my head in a door…

Another example of the bride getting her way at all costs? Seriously, men, I want to hear from you: How excited would you be to carry a heart balloon inside of which at least four of your heads could fit?

I think the concept of the waist-down shot is cute enough… But do ALL of the women have to be pigeon-toed? It’s cute when one person does it, but this looks like a rabid case of the rickets. Someone get them folks into the sunlight, stat.

This is from a different magazine! Ladies, toes go forward. Can we agree only to let one damsel be the blushing wallflower whose feet turn in? Please? Mad props to the bride here.

Here’s a great one! A whole work-out aimed at fitting into a dress! I know, I know. Pictures. But, seriously, I want to slap that dude. If you know him, will you, please?

I like the composition of this photo. It’s cool. But I am opposed to the whole “get fit for this one thing” and I REALLY hate the caption, which follows…

Size EIGHT?! You disgusting tub of lard! That is so close to double digits, I can’t even tell you how grossed out I am. You’d better keep it off, too, or he’s going to leave you!

Speaking of making you feel like crap about yourself: Have elective surgery, you four-eyed freak!

I guess the hot lady in this ad didn’t get the memo that “old-fashioned glasses” are taboo and probably mean that your marriage won’t take.

Oh, and for the love of all that is holy, you must risk basal cell carcinoma or you’ll spend the rest of your life avoiding looking at that pasty figure in the wedding album.

If you follow CakeWrecks, you know that wedding-dress-inspired cakes are a tricky thing. This one is done well enough and still a little creepy… I mean, who gets the boob?

No. Just. No. It should go without saying that nowhere in anyone’s life, wedding or otherwise, is there a place for a cake that looks like a dog someone pooped out.

There are a LOT of bachelorette-type ads, too, including a disturbing amount of pole-dancing work out sessions. This is not only a good fitness idea, but helpful for keeping your husband interested. Oh, and you need to install a pole in your bedroom. I didn’t see that ad.

*squeal* OMG! Slumber Party!! I’m a total grown-up and I’m SO getting married, besties! *giggle* (Seriously, I don’t understand the need to have a “final blow-out” to send off your singlehood. Not to ruin the magic for you who have never been married, but you can still go out with friends and have fun after you’re married. If you’re going to have more “fun” at your bachelorette/bachelor party than you will allow yourself once you are married, hear this: YOU ARE NOT READY TO GET MARRIED.)

A) Look at this not-Photoshopped-at-all picture! B) Look at Me? What about Look at Us?? Bridezilla, anyone?

Pictures like this, where the dimensions are impossible and she has to be standing on a box, get on my nerves. This dress will not look like this on ANYONE of human descent.

This one, too. There has to be some distortion here (or her dress is super long and just dragging the ground). It would take nothing to push her over, with that stance. I wanna.

THIS pictures, I like. Plus it reminds me of my friend Leigh-Ellen.

Pages and pages of banality, and I am tempted to descend into dispair. DJs, photo booths, caterers, videographers, money money money time time time… and then I hit one page – ONE PAGE – among two oversized magazines, that gave me some hope.

Unfortunately, this ad is without fancy pictures to grab the eye. In fact, at first glance, it’s a little bit of a downer, and the blushing pre-bride might be tempted to flip past it to get to the “good” stuff.

Succeed in MARRIAGE?! I just wanted a pretty wedding! *pout*

If you’re engaged, planning a wedding, planning to elope, just getting caught up in the moment, could I encourage you to set aside a bit of cash and at *least* as much time (preferably more) preparing for the actual life of being married? Those wedding pictures WILL last a lifetime, but if your marriage doesn’t, you’re not going to care too much about looking at those albums in the future.

One page out of over 1000. On what’s really important. But at least you’re not fat, myopic, or pale!