Monday Night Yawn: A Quick Summary Of What You Watch Every Monday Night (satire)

Michael Cole: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!!!!!!! IT IS ELECTRIC HERE IN ANYTOWN, USA, AND WELCOME TO THE LONGEST- RUNNING WEEKLY EPISODIC TELEVISION SHOW!!!!!!!! MONDAY NIGHT RAW!!!!!!!! ANOTHER CHANCE TO SEE THE MIZ!!!!!!!!! ISN'T IT SO EXCITING, JERRY!?!??!!!?!?!?!?!!?

Jerry "The King" Lawler: Umm...yeah. I can't wait.

MC: OH MY GOD HERE HE COMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(cue Miz music, as Cole gives standing ovation.)

The Miz: I am the WWE champion. I am the best ever. I am the greatest thing since sliced bananas. And IIIIIIIIIII'MMMMMMMMMMMMM...AAAAAAWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEE--

(cue Cena music, and children screaming)

John Cena: You aren't awesome! You're just a piece of cra...ckers! You can shut the f...ront door! You can kiss...your mom! This is the best cursing I can do on PG! Yippee!

Miz: Well, I carry around a briefcase to hit people with! Actually, I don't need to carry it, because my manservant does it for me!