I had a fight with a girl once.
I was asleep on a sofa & she punched me in the head & ran off.
(pissflaps., Sat 16 Feb 2013, 15:32,
Reply)

We call that
'winning'.

EDIT: a bit QOTW but it is quiet. I did once lamp a guy, right up the throat and he fell down. I was promptly arrested, as the police had turned up unbeknown to me but it kicked off elsewhere and I was left standing around. A taxi driver I knew pulled up and he told me to get in and took me home. That was years ago but i do see the copper every now again and he glares at me.
(TheSundaeLunchI'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Sat 16 Feb 2013, 15:52,
Reply)

Did you take a shit in the coppers hat?
(pissflaps., Sat 16 Feb 2013, 16:15,
Reply)