Mila Kunis' Hilarious Message to Men Who Say 'We're Pregnant'

Because no, dude, you're not.

If you're not constantly inundated with baby news postings on Facebook, then you're clearly just not on Facebook. There's "Baby on the way!" There's "Guess who's having a baby?!?!" And then, of course, there's "We're pregnant!"

Well, Mila Kunis has a special message for all the guys out there who use that last version: No, you're not.

The actress and mommy-to-be appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night. When Jimmy told her, "My wife and I are pregnant. We are having a baby very soon as well," she wasn't having it. She ripped off her body mic, grabbed a stage mic, and went off on a hysterical (seemingly scripted) rant:

"Hello, I'm Mila Kunis, with a very special message for all you soon-to-be fathers," she said to the camera. "Stop saying, 'We're pregnant.' You're not pregnant! Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady-hole? No. Are you crying alone in your car listening to a stupid Bette Midler song? No. When you wake up and throw up, is it because you're nurturing a human life? No. It's because you had too many shots of tequila. Do you know how many shots of tequila we had? None. Because we can't have shots of tequila. We can't have anything, because we've got your little love goblin growing inside of us. All you did was roll over and fall asleep."

Mila wrapped up her speech by saying, "You're not pregnant." Then eight expecting, ice cream-toting women appeared beside her onstage to say, "We are!"