Do You Ever Dream About Jesus?

Question by Lime Kitty – Atheati Emperor: Do you ever dream about Jesus?
Last night, Jesus came to me in a dream.

I said, “Hi, Jesus.”

And he said “Hi, Lime Kitty.”

And I said “What’s shakin’ big fella?”

And he said “I was thinking about coming back. But I’m afraid that if I come in on my flying cloud with my host of angels, the Air Force will detect us on radar. And since the cloud doesn’t have a radio I won’t be able to identify myself, and then they may launch missiles at us. I mean, seriously. I don’t even like iron chariots, you think I want a missile launched at me?”

I wish my dreams were that cool. Unfortunately, The Nolte typically suffers with nightmares. Last night I had a rather disturbing one….the planet’s entire whiskey supply was depleted. Needless to say, I awoke panicked and in a cold sweat.

I did when I was younger before I had fully rejected the doctrine. Every Christmas and Easter I would have dreams of a crucifix of Jesus on the ceiling (of all places) above me, and his face used to open up, and worms would drop out and fall all over me. I would take the worms and put them in a garbage bag and toss them down the garbage chute and they would climb back up, and keep coming towards me, covering me in worms. This nightmare reoccurred from age 4 until about age 11…
Some religious people believed I was greatly affected by imagery of Jesus and this happened because of my spiritual energy. The same way that nuns make my hairs stand on end. I don’t know, but as soon as I stopped believing, the dreams went away. And that’s my story.:)

I dream of Jeannie, with the light brown hair.
Actually, sometimes I dream of Jeannie, she’s a light brown hare, but only after watching Bugs Bunny.
I’m afraid with my busy dream schedule, Jesus doesn’t get a look in. That’s probably why you get the Jesus dreams.
Sorry about that.

When Christ returns the sky will roll back as a scroll and nothing will be able to fly in the sky much less a missile. You forget that Jesus spoke this world into existence and by His Word all things are held together. You also forget the sun will turn black and the moon will turn to blood and the stars will fall from the sky.

I promise you the Air Force will be grounded on the ground flat of their face with no capability of standing up. One of God’s angels slew 185,000 men in less than a day. How many angels do you want to fight?

the air force is REALLY REALLY smart. I think they could figure out it was jesus. When I was little I lived on an air force base. (well several air force bases.. Luke AFB and Holloman AFB.) But when I lived on Holloman AFB I remember one December there was a news report about santa’s sleigh being reported on radar and how it was a big deal and how the base was going to send up the F16’s to escort santa. It was pretty cool * granted I was like 7 at the time*

So anyways, I think the air force will know that it is Jesus and he doesn’t have to worry about missiles.

To answer your question, I haven’t dreamt of Jesus. I have had dreams of Mary though….