Because some men can be creepy as hell

How To DHV Your Wing

In an article I did a while back on Being A Wingman, I talked about how your and your wing watch each others back, keep each other from getting “shot down”, and support each other in the field. Going it solo is brave, to be sure, but the game just gets so much easier if you have someone to push you into a group of girls, save you from an overbearing guy, occupy the takeaway girl, or even DHV you to the girls. In fact, having someone to DHV you is an incredibly powerful tool that is OFTEN overlooked PUAs. If you don’t have a wing to go out with to practice your game or DHV you in the field, you should consider it a major priority for your self improvement to find one.

If you follow the basic wing rules laid out by Mystery you’ll want to talk about your wingman a little bit before he enters the scene. This is what is called an Accomplishment Intro. Sometimes, just the sudden appearance of another guy can drive away a group of girls that isn’t really invested yet. Introducing and giving value to your wing before he even arrives avoids this for two reasons: firstly, it will ensure that your wing will already have value when he arrives to talk you up to the group or occupy the friends. Secondly, it helps to DHV you by showing that you have cool/interesting/successful friends, setting the frame that your friends are cool even before they meet anyone.

You can do this by mentioning them in a story you are telling and then multi-threading into a DHV in the sections below, or you can just start into one of the stories with something like:

“I’m here with friends. In fact, I’m going to introduce you to [name], he’s the one who [DHV].”
“I can only stay for another minute. I’m going to have to find ___, he’s [DHV]”
“At some point you’re going to meet my friend ____, he’s a [DHV]. Don’t embarrass me.”

If your wing happens to enter into the group before you can DHV him, cut your story and introduce him to everybody:

“This is my good friend ____, he’s [DHV]

DHVing to the Group for Your Wing

When you’ve joined a group of people that your wing is opened, he has hopefully already DHV’d your, or at least will do so when you enter and he introduces you. So you should already have enough value to strike up a conversation with either his girl or her friends. Typically, it is better to use an evolutionary DHV (i.e., one that displays Preselection, protector of loved ones, social status, etc) when talking to your wings girl or her friends. However, depending on the energy level or possibility of flight, you may need to use one of the fun DHVs (next section) to spike their buying temperature before launching into a proper evolutionary DHV story (further below).

Your job is to make sure they see your wing as a high value male that his girl should be chasing. If you have DHV’d him to his girl, your wingman should find it a lot easier to isolate her to qualify and build comfort. Or if you’ve DHV’d him to her friends while he was talking to his girl, they should be far more willing to let the two of them go somewhere alone. And hey, since your wing has already Accomplishment Intro’d you before you even showed up, maybe there’s one of her friends who is showing some interest that you can game.

Fun DHVs and Intros

“He’s the guy who sucked off six hundred men in one hour. I was one of ’em.”
“He’s my brother from a different mother.”
“This is the Superman to my Batman… yeah that’s right forget that Robin bullshit…”
“He’s the Jay to my Silent Bob” (this one is especially good if your wing is skinny and you are larger, but it gets a laugh regardless)
“This is my heterosexual life-mate. [point to your girl] HETERO-sexual – don’t even start!”
“You know those ‘Most Interesting Man In the World’ commercials? They were based on him. He’s like the Chuck Norris of real people.”

In fact, looking at my list, I’ve realized that a lot of the AIs I use stem from the “facts” from those commercials:

“Sharks have a week dedicated to him.”
“His charisma can be seen from space.”
“If he were to pat you on the back, you would list it on your resume.”
“He is the only person to ever ace a Rorschach Test.”

For particularly muscular or large wingmen:
“Bear hugs are what he gives to bears”
“This man bowls… overhand”

Evolutionary Accomplishment Intros

“He’s a local musician here in town, the band is REALLY good. They’ve played at…”
“He’s one of the smartest guys I know.”
“He’s a great friend of mine.”
“He is, by far, the most interesting person I have ever met.”
“Ladies LOVE this man. He dated Miss November.”

“He’s a great man. He just recently [climbed a mountain, published a book, received an award, visited ___, saved money on his car insurance, etc, etc]”

“You know that thing that happens when two alpha males kind of butt heads for dominance? We don’t do that at all. It’s like… we both like to lead… ’cause he’s a [whatever conveys leadership] and I’m a [whatever conveys leadership]… but we don’t mind letting each other take charge when it makes more sense. We just….RESPECT each other… and that’s pretty rare with guys like us.”

“He actually pulled me out of a jam last week. I feel very lucky to have friends like him to count on when shit hits the fan, you know? [stack into DHV story]”

“I rarely get to see him because he’s always on tour and I travel for my work… but every time we meet up, it’s like we never skip a beat.”

“He’s one of those guys that everybody LOVES. If we’re hanging out and he’s not around… and someone mentions him… I guarantee one of the girls will be like “Awww I love [wing’s name].” …and then all the other girls – in unison – will be like “OMG I LOVE [wing]!” Every single time! (this is actually true of a number of good friends of mine)

Writing Wingman DHVs

Now that you’ve seen some generic intros, the next thing you’re going to need is an actual DHV story for your wingman. Typically, it’s best to actually ask your wing what they would like you to use as their accomplishment intro. This way, you can ensure that the qualities and personality that you are conveying for your wing will be in sync with his avatar. Imagine, for instance, you had just made up a DHV story about you and your wing being a musician, and then when asked about it your wing replies “I’ve never played an instrument in my entire life.” Women are very perceptive of these kind of incongruences, and even if they don’t consciously realize that something was amiss, it will register unconsciously and reduce her trust in what you say.

You should always try to use real DHVs from your wingman’s actual life, as they will be more congruent with his personality (again, women are quick to notice when this is not the case). This also ensures your wing has plenty of background information in case he is asked any follow-up questions, and you’ll never have to worry about not being on the same page with your wing. Be sure to tell them what you want your accomplishment intro should be as well.

Writing a DHV routine for your wing is basically the same as writing one for yourself, with the exceptions noted below. If you don’t know how to write a solid DHV story, be sure to check out my article on how to do exactly that.

The major difference between writing a DHV story for yourself and for your wing is the most obvious: the DHV spikes need to MOSTLY be about your wing. And unlike talking about yourself, it’s totally ok to brag about your wings. You can and should still have a few DHV about yourself sprinkled into your stories as well, but it should never seem like you are trying to compare yourself to him. It’s perfectly fine for him to be better at something than you, to take charge in a situation, or to have preselection even if you don’t have any specifically mentioned in the story. It’s a very common pitfall for many PUAs to try to DHV their wings by telling a story in which the PUA (and not the wing) is the one with the most value, who saves the day, gets the girl, etc.

“We were trying to figure out what to do so I asked him what he thought and he was like ‘I don’t think so, I think this is the only way we can make it work’. And even though I was in charge, he’s a [related DHV]… so that’s what we did.”

Why is this a bad way to DHV your wing? Because even though you are trying to DHV him, it will appear to the group like you are trying to show that you are still more alpha than he is. This conveys insecurity about your own value and is a hidden DLV. Essentially, you just demonstrated that you have a friend with value who threatens your perception of your own social value.

As long as you aren’t actively DLVing yourself in the process, the more value your wing has, the more value you have by association. One trick I learned from Discovery (and which he now teaches at the brand new Routines and Gambits workshops) is the art of hiding your DHVs as vulnerabilities. Normally there is a very specific time to do this for yourself, but by applying this same tactic to a story about your wing, you make him look even better (thus increasing your value as well) while demonstrating that you’re not so worried about impressing her that you’re trying to save your own value by comparison.

Example:

“…he’s one of the best dancers I’ve ever seen. And until the other week we never knew! Now I’ve never been a good dancer myself, so I started taking Salsa lessons with a girlfriend of mine a little while back. And then the other week… we go out to a Salsa club… and he comes along with a couple of girlfriends of his… and I’d never seen him dance before…. and they fucking… TEAR… UP… the dance floor! You know know in the movies…. when the crowd…. PARTS mid-song so the couple in the middle can do their insane dance? Like, you know you’re hot… when the SALSA CLUB… stops to cheer you on! And what gets me is that he has never bragged about his dancing skills! Shit had I known he was THAT good, [girl’s name] and I would have just got lessons from him!”

Now notice in this story that the major DHVs are towards my wing: he can dance really well (possibly with several girls at once), he’s humble and down-to-earth about it, he has a “couple” of girlfriends, and I would have liked to learn from him. There’s still some preselection in there for me hidden behind a vulnerability (namely, I wasn’t a good dancer until recently), but the main value is that I hang out with people so awesome that crowds form around them to cheer them on.

Be a little amazed by whatever quality/qualities you are DHVing him for. He’s your wingman. He’s awesome. He’s a cool guy who you trust and respect. So brag about him a little and make both your lives a little easier in the field.