Thursday, January 29, 2009

I'm sure there are many of you who are dying to know who your best friends, ex-boyfriends brother has been dating but are unsure how to go about this in a discrete way. This is were my expertise comes in. Stalking people is a very vital life skill. How are you suppose to be able to date that super attractive male in your math class if he has a girlfriend. That is certainly a situation that requires good stalking before diving into the flirting. The problem most people encounter is that awkward conversation starters after the stalking is complete. You certainly dont want to start the conversation, "So I saw that you and Sam Smith broke up and was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime". It's difficult to start a conversation when you already know everything about the person and want to dive into all the dirty details when they have only seen you walking from the MC to the Hart once in their entire lives. Another problem is when you are really curious about someone when their facebook is blocked so you can only see them if you add them as a friend. I hate that. A common way around this is to create a new facebook just for stalking. A good way to disguise yourself is to create one of the opposite sex and have your orientation be listed as "gay" they will never know. The only trouble you will have is people adding you. There are some weird-os out there who add everyone just to get the 80847th friend like its some kind of competition or something. Then you have those people that just add you because your a friend of your best friends boyfriends brothers little sister that went to your same high school 5 years ago. Or the ones that add you just because you share the same mutual friend.

Long story short, the key is to stalk others and avoid being stalked yourself