The English language is ever evolving and the many countries and peoples that use it as an official language each leave a lasting imprint. Here at Sillypedia, we track down all the ingenious contributions from our Banana Republic.

July was intruiging and was not short of drama. Here are our newest entries into the encyclopedia.

Barbie /ba:bi/ noun (UGA) (not to be confused with the American Barbie™ doll) 1 a lady who builds up and spurs her spouse or those around her to do great things, to achieve more. 2 a strong woman who is able to inspire and lead other to achieve great feats otherwise deemed impossible.

Origin: originated from the renown Barbie Itungo, wife to beloved local musician, Robert Kyagulanyi aka Bobi Wine. It is widely believed that she is the fire in his heart that causes him to better himself daily, eventually leading him into parliament.

Example: “Nalumansi is such a barbie. If it wasn’t for her, Paul would be a nobody.” “Michelle Obama is Barrack’s barbie”

Synonyms: strong woman, virteuos woman, lady

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Bobi /bo:bi/ noun (UGA) (not to be confused with the hairstyle “bobby”) a person, most usually an underdog, who surpasses great challenges in life to become an inspiration.

Origin: Local musician Bobi Wine who rose out of the ghetto and became a mouthpiece for slum dwellers before he shocked all and was elected a member of parliament.

Example: “John is bigger but Mugisha is a bobi, he knows how to knock in a few teeth. He will win the fight.”

Synonyms: strong, resilient

Editor /’edIteur/ (BRE) /editah/ (UGA) noun an archaic and long forgotten creature in Ugandan print media that used to be pivotal in ensuring that mistakes were minimised, like misspellings and in grammar.​Edit /’edIt/ (BRE) /edit’/(UGA) verb an ancient and forgotten art or job description in Ugandan print media where a writing was thoroughly checked and revised to ensure quality print material.

Skeptism started to arise, after the “reign of error” week, in which publishing houses spat out typo after typo with determined succecion, including the First Lady on her social media! Investigation soon revealed that the Editor was an extinct species and all those on the payrolls were imposters.

Example: “Explain the causes of the extinction of the editor species and the subsequent ‘reign of error’.”

Kamyalisis /kAm’yia:lisis/ (UGA) noun a new strain of verbal diarrhoea (SEE ver.bal diar.rhoea) that shrinks brain cells and causes one to utter complete and utter nonsense one would never have uttered in their normal state of mind. Scientists (that is, political scientists ie those who study political science) have long discovered that this dangerous strain is spread by a bacteria called “presidential handshake” (also see abi.ri.ga)

Origin: kamyalisis came to the public’s attention when minister for Kampala, Miss Beti Kamya vomitted vile and disgusting statements while on national TV that had everyone’s stomach turning and faces grimacing. She claimed that H.E Yoweri Kaguta Museveni was a godsend who should rule for ever. Aforementioned scientists quickly lurched on the case and discovered the cause.

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Synonyms: idiocy, lumpen-ness,

Thank you for stopping by. Here at Sillypedia, we promise to keep u posted on all the new lingo as generously contributed by our ever willing politicians.

It’s a lazy afternoon at BLB 05, Glory Drive. The sun is warmly gliding through the clear sky and the birds are quietly perched in the trees, seeking refuge from the sweltering heat. Little Bro is in the living room doing home work and I’m in my room sheepishly swiping on my new Huawei smartphone. This Huawei is such an achievement because it’s an upgrade on those “chinese” phones with cringe-worthy names like “Xin Hua” or “SamSong”, those ones which have ringtones akin to the scream of an enraged bat! With a silly smile on my face, I’m humming that popular Kadongo Kamuhit, “Gyenvudde tebibadde birungi…”

Soon, Little Bro scurries in. He has a burning question.

“Ian, what is rusting?”

He catches a glimpse of the new phone.

“Oooh! Cool phone. Let me see! Let me see! Is it Apple? Does it have games? Where did you get it?”

Not particularly pleased with the untimely interruption, I reply sarcastically,
“I picked it by the roadside.”

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Little Bro is unfazed. He brushes aside my sacarsm with such skill and grace that I almost feel embarrassed.
“Oh Lucky you!” he says. “You know, I had a smartphone once. It was…”

“What??” I interrupt. “Where did you get a smartphone?”

I asked, shocked, because it’s quite unheard of that at his age, Little Bro would be allowed to carry a phone, much less a smartphone.

However, he has a huge smile on his face which lets me know that I’m being had. But it’s too late, I’ve already fallen into his trap.

“I picked it by the roadside.” he replies comfortably, picks up his home work and saunters out. I can almost swear I hear him laugh the universal evil laugh but maybe it’s just my mind playing tricks.

As the birds bask in the afternoon heat, at BLB 05, Glory Drive, House-with-the-black-gate, it dawns on me that Little Bro is a force to reckon with.

SILLYPEDIA PRESENTS…PV SOCCER

PavilionSoccer, or PVSoccer, as it was popularly known, is a legendary passtime cemented in the folklore of KibuliS.S. It was a variation of futsal which evolved from PVBall. It was made up of three-a-side teams which would compete for bragging rights.

ORIGIN

Pavilion Soccer was a very popular pastime which evolved from another popular pastime, Pavilion Ball, or PV Ball. PV Ball was a variation of basketball where two-a-side teams competed to drop a small paper ball through the “hoop”. This passtime was christened “pavilion” because it was played in the pavilion. The beams of the roof acted as the hoops. Stars of this game included the lanky ChristianKivuna, the calm and lean MatsikoJadeNorman among others.

However, groundbreaking and entertaining as PV Ball was, it was slow and lacked the spark of magic that some daredevils desired. Hence the birth of PV Soccer.

BIRTHOFPVSOCCER.

Some members of the legendary FormTwoclassof2006 desired a more high thrill game than PV Ball. So, while the ballers strutted their stuff at the smaller “Highbury“, the dare devils took over the much larger “OldTrafford” pavilion and commenced the game that would sweep over all of lower O’level.

Armed with the tough Azur water bottle as the official ball, dare devils like Akol Bonny, Kirya Ben, Kinobe Rooney, Abdul Salam Shadad and Aka Ian pulled off tricks and flicks that would remain imprinted in the minds of on lookers and scored goals that sent the fans roaring. Games were played every free period before lunchtime and after classes till supper time. The water bottle, Azur, became a precious item due to the birth of the game.

THEDREAMTEAM

This was arguably the greatest team to ever walk the PV Soccer universe. With EnyimuElijah manning the defense, JoelBasoga supplying and AkaIan finishing, they went on to win countless consecutive championships until they disbanded. Consequently, the team of Kirya and Akol then became the spectacle to watch.

SOMEOFTHEGAME‘SPERENNIALSTARS.

KiryaIvanBen

This fleet footed Chelsea diehard was a spectacle to watch. He was always the pioneer of new tricks and could do things with the Azur that were imposible for others. His favourite teaming was with Akol Bonny and Kisangabya Arafat and together they redefined the game.

AbduSalamShadad

Shadad was a pint sized flank maestro,who christened himself “Thierry“. The Arsenal diehard was quick footed and quick witted. He was a true nightmare for his markers and his nickname was well deserved. His rivalry with Aka Ian put some more sizzle to the already sizzling game.

AkolBonny

The motor mouthed midfielder was equally quick with the Azur. He usually preferred the supplying role where he connected superbly with the suave Kirya. He also had a shot like WayneRooney, his icon.KinobeRonnie

Tall and Lanky, Ronnie usually preferred to be between the sticks where he was indomitable. He made himself a reputation like that of Dennis Onyango. The Liverpool diehard was also good friends with Aka Ian, another Liverpool diehard.AkaIan

He was another “littlemagician” who usually preferred the finishing role. His finishing and skill on the Azur was so good that he was nicknamed both “Zizou” and “Messi“. Usually soft spoken, he was always a monster infront of goal.Fans always didn’t deem it a PV Soccer game if Aka didn’t play.ACCOLADESINTHEGAME.

Unfortunately, PV Soccer was such an underground game that no accolades were ever officially awarded and no records ever kept, but the true spectacle lies in the hearts of the players and those who watched them play.

CONSEQUENCES

Since PV Soccer was such an underground game, it was an eyesore to the Authority. Many chases and hunts were carried out by the Administration and a number of culprits aprehended. One time, Aka was christened by the Authority as the “captain” of the underground game and hence thoroughly flogged for it. A snitch has been suspected to have leaked names to the Authority.

DEATHOFPVSOCCER.

A number of factors can be sighted for the waning of the spectacular game but generally, the people who had started it gradually lost the interest in it leaning on excuses like,“kati tukuze”. The thorough manhunt by the Authority is also suspected to have scared off some potential players and fans. Also the commencement of the FormThreePremierLeague, which stole away key players like Kirya Ben, Kisangabya Arafat, and Abdu Salam Shadad contributed to the ultimate downfall.However, the trend was picked up by the incoming Form Two class though records dont show

QUOTES

“I always thought [PV Soccer] would go on forever. When I was on that granite, I was in my element. I even bought new shoes for the game. But even the best dancer leaves the floor” AkaIan

“It was a great game. It shaped some of our sporting philosophies and it was always great to play with friends. It was great while it lasted” KiryaIvanBen.

“It was an eyesore! The boys had to grow up and concentrate on their academics” Authority.