Sharpton, Jackson, Christ, Satan Vie For Imus Time Slot on MSNBC

(Center of the Universe, NYC) -- The Son of God, Paradise, and Prince of Darkness, Hades, were locked in a bidding war last night as NBC announced that the time slot occupied pre 4/11 by former Shock Jock Don Imus would be available to other responsible broadcasters.

Sponsors who had left Imus this week were being actively courted by the two powerful media forces and their allies.

God's spokesman said that negotiations should be done within the week, "We''ll rest on Day 7" he added confidently.

Satan's spokesman and syndication partners at the Republican National Committee could not be reached for comment.

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