35. Errr....... I don't know about that south bound shipping being faster

I'd heard the magnetic pull of the North Poll is much stronger than that of the South Pole (Santa's influence I suppose). That 's why ships are made of iron so that they can travel by pull. When they want to go south, they just flipa switch and set up a low level electrical charge through hull of the ship to reject the "pull" Northward and voila, the could even float South.

But then that little tid bit would involve science and physics lingo, so I can understand you not wanting to get into all of that with your neighbor.