The animal responsible for the most human deaths world-wide is the mosquito.

The biggest pig in recorded history was Big Boy of Black Mountain, North Carolina, who was weighed at 1,904 pounds in 1939.

Cats respond most readily to names that end in an "ee" sound.

A cat cannot see directly under its nose. This is why the cat cannot seem to find tidbits on the floor.

Pigs, walruses and light-colored horses can be sunburned.

Snakes are immune to their own poison.

An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes.

Cats have more than one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.

The biggest member of the cat family is the male lion, which weighs 528 pounds (240 kilograms).

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

Each day in the US, animal shelters are forced to destroy 30,000 dogs and cats.

A shrimp's heart is in their head.

A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.

The cat lover is an ailurophile, while a cat hater is an ailurophobe.

A woodpecker can peck twenty times a second.

It may take longer than two days for a chick to break out of its shell.

Dragonflies are one of the fastest insects, flying 50 to 60 mph.

Despite man's fear and hatred of the wolf, it has not ever been proved that a non-rabid wolf ever attacked a human.

There are more than 100 million dogs and cats in the United States.

Americans spend more than 5.4 billion dollars on their pets each year.

Cat's urine glows under a black light.

The largest cockroach on record is one measured at 3.81 inches in length.

It is estimated that a single toad may catch and eat as many as 10,000 insects in the course of a summer.

Amphibians eyes come in a variety shapes and sizes. Some even have square or heart-shaped pupils.

It would require an average of 18 hummingbirds to weigh in at 1 ounce.

Dogs that do not tolerate small children well are the St. Bernard, the Old English sheep dog, the Alaskan malamute, the bull terrier, and the toy poodle.

Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of earth in a day.

Howler monkeys are the noisiest land animals. Their calls can be heard over 2 miles away.

A quarter of the horses in the US died of a vast virus epidemic in 1872.

The fastest bird is the Spine-tailed swift, clocked at speeds of up to 220 miles per hour.There is no single cat called the panther. The name is commonly applied to the leopard, but it is also used to refer to the puma and the jaguar. A black panther is really a black leopard. A capon is a castrated rooster.

The world's largest rodent is the Capybara. An Amazon water hog that looks like a guinea pig, it can weigh more than 100 pounds.

The poison-arrow frog has enough poison to kill about 2,200 people.

The hummingbird, the loon, the swift, the kingfisher, and the grebe are all birds that cannot walk.

The poisonous copperhead snake smells like fresh cut cucumbers.

A chameleon's tongue is twice the length of its body.

Worker ants may live seven years and the queen may live as long as 15 years.

The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of lobsters is blue.

Cheetahs make a chirping sound that is much like a bird's chirp or a dog's yelp. The sound is so an intense, it can be heard a mile away.

The underside of a horse's hoof is called a frog. The frog peels off several times a year with new growth.

The bloodhound is the only animal whose evidence is admissible in an American court. 98% of brown bears in the United States are in Alaska.

Before air conditioning was invented, white cotton slipcovers were put on furniture to keep the air cool.

The Barbie doll has more than 80 careers.

To make one pound of whole milk cheese, 10 pounds of whole milk is needed.

99% of pumpkins that are sold for decoration.

Every 30 seconds a house fire doubles in size.

The month of December is the most popular month for weddings in the Philippines.

A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.

Carbon monoxide can kill a person in less than 15 minutes.

The largest ever hailstone weighed over 1kg and fell in Bangladesh in 1986.

Ants can live up to 16 years.

In Belgium, there is a museum that is just for strawberries.

The sense of smell of an ant is just as good as a dog's.

Popped popcorn should be stored in the freezer or refrigerator as this way it can stay crunchy for up to three weeks.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they startwith.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only onone row ! of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heartstops for a millisecond.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughesttongue twister in the English language.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress asneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.Spades - King DavidClubs - Alexander the Great,Hearts - CharlemagneDiamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321

If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in theair, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air,the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse hasall four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laserprinters all have in common?Ans. - All invented by women.Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?Ans. - HoneY.A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.A snail can sleep for three years.All polar bears are left handed.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from eachsalad served in first-class.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body tosquirt blood 30 feet.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your earby 700 times.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Height of Skyscraper

A teacher asks a student how he would measure the height of a very tall building using a barometer, evidently expecting to hear about the reduced air pressure being proportionate to the elevation ....

The student replies: Tie the barometer to a long string, lower the string till the barometer touches the ground, measure the length of the string !

However, what follows is much more interesting: This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed.

The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics.

To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use. On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows :

Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer." " Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper ."

" But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper.

The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi square root (l/g)." " Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up ."

" If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building ."

" But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper' ."

The student was Niels Bohr, the only person from Denmark to win the Nobel Prize for Physics.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Statutory Warning !!!!!!!!!!!

What's in cigarettes?Cigarettes contain disgusting things that you would never think about putting in your body. For example, cigarettes contain tar, carbon monoxide and chemicals like DDT, arsenic and formaldehyde (a gas used to preserve dead animals).

The tobacco in cigarettes also contains nicotine--the drug that makes smoking addictive. All of these things are bad for your body. Nicotine raises your risk of heart attack and stroke. Tar and carbon monoxide cause serious breathing problems. And you know tobacco smoke causes cancer.

What's the real deal with tobacco?Tobacco is toxic to your body. It causes more health problems and early deaths than all illegal drugs combined. On top of that, tobacco is addictive. This means that once you start using it, your body starts to need it. The longer you use tobacco, and the more you use, the harder it is to stop. Everyone who smokes started by "just trying it." That's how the habit and the addiction begin.

Is chewing tobacco as bad as cigarettes?Yes. Both cigarettes and chewing tobacco are toxic (poison) to your body. We hear more about the harm cigarettes do to the body, but chewing tobacco can also hurt the body. Chewing tobacco can cause sores and white patches in your mouth, as well as diseases and cancers of the mouth, gums and throat. Chewing can give you bad breath, discolor your teeth and cause tooth loss. And one chew contains 15 times the nicotine of a cigarette (meaning the risk of addiction is much higher).

The numbers?4,500,000 -- The estimated number of children and adolescents in the United States who smoke.6000 -- The estimated number of people under the age of 18 who try their first cigarette each day.70 -- The percent of smokers 12 to 17 years old who wish they had never started smoking.

It's never too late to quit.If you smoke, it's not too late to make a change. To quit, you must break your addiction to nicotine and your habit of smoking. Your habit is the behavior that goes with your tobacco use, such as lighting a cigarette when you get out of school.

* Chew sugarless gum * Call a friend * Chew sunflower seeds, ground mint leaves or caffeine-free herbal tea leaves * Go to a movie or another place where you can't smoke * Take a walk or work out * Remind yourself why you want to quit

Steps to make quitting easier:Pick a stop date. Choose a date 2 to 4 weeks away so you can get ready to quit. If possible, choose a time when things in your life will change, like when you're about to start a break from school. Or just pick a time when you don't expect any extra stress at school, work or home. For example, quit after final exams, not during them.Make a list of the reasons why you want to quit. Keep the list on hand so you can look at it when you have a nicotine craving.Keep track of where, when and why you smoke. You may want to make notes for a week or so to know ahead of time when and why you will crave a cigarette. Plan what you'll do instead of smoking (see list above for ideas). You may also want to plan what you'll say to people who pressure you to smoke.Throw away all of your tobacco. Clean out your room if you have smoked there. Throw away your ashtrays and lighters--anything that you connect with your smoking habit.Tell your friends that you're quitting. Ask them not to pressure you about smoking. Find other things to do with them besides smoking.When your stop date arrives, Stop. Plan little rewards for yourself for each tobacco-free day, week or month. For example, buy yourself a new shirt or ask a friend to see a movie with you.

Will I gain weight when I quit?Some people gain a few pounds. Other people lose weight. The main reason some people gain weight is because they eat more food as a substitute for smoking. You can avoid gaining weight by watching how much you eat, staying busy and working out.

How will I feel when I quit?You may feel edgy and irritable. You also may get angry or upset faster, have trouble concentrating and feel hungrier than usual. You may have headaches and cough more at first (while your lungs are clearing out). All of these can be symptoms of withdrawal from nicotine. Keep in mind that the worst symptoms will be over in a few days. However, you may still have cravings for tobacco. Those cravings have less to do with nicotine addiction and more to do with the habit of smoking.

What about nicotine gum or nicotine patches?These products may help you if you feel like you can't quit on your own or you have serious withdrawal symptoms. But don't use the gum or patch without talking to your doctor first. These products were not designed for teens and could make you sick if you use them the wrong way. You may need to follow special instructions.

What if I can't quit?You can quit. Most people try to quit more than once before they succeed. So don't give up if you slip. Just don't go overboard and buy a whole pack of cigarettes. Instead, think about why you want to quit. Think about what happened to make you slip. Figure out how you'll handle that situation differently next time. Then recommit yourself to quitting.

Techno Ramayana

LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya, there ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once he EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SUNs--RAM, LSIman,BUG-rat and SED-rughana. RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent MEMORY. His brothers, however, were only PERIPHERAL ICs. Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess 'C'ta. 12years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTALL RAM as his successor.

However, Queen CIE/CAE(Kayegayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat for a lifesaving HELP COMMAND, took this opportunity at the instigation of her BIOSed maid (a real plotter), and insisted that her son Bug-rat be INSTALLED and that RAM be CUT-N-PASTED to the forest for 14 years.

At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE passed through DOS-rat and he collapsed, power-less. RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and 'C'ta insisted to LOGIN with him. LSI-man also resolved on LOGGING IN with his brother. The forest was the dwelling of SPARCnakha, the TRAN-SISTOR of RAW-van, PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's stature, she proposed that he should marry her. RAM, politely declined. Perceiving 'C'ta to be the SOURCE CODE of her distress, she hastened to kill her. Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled to Lanka ,where RAW-van, moved by TRAN-SISTOR's plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha. MAR-icha REPROGRAMED himself into the form of a golden stag and drew RAM deep into the forest. Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, which, with his last breath, cried out desperately for LSI-man in RAM's voice.

Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND, 'C'ta urged LSI-man to his brother's aid. Catching the opportunity ,RAW-van DELINKED 'C'ta from her LIBRARY and changed her ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka.

-----------------------------------------------------

INTERVAL

-----------------------------------------------------

RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing 'C'ta all over the forest. They made friendship with the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-NEUMAN.

SU-greev agreed to help RAM. SU-greev ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful 'SEARCH' techniques to FIND the missing 'C'ta. His ROGRAMMERS SEARCHED all around the INTER-NETworked forests. Many tried to 'EXCITE' the birds and animals not to forget the 'WEBCRAWLERS' (Insects) and tried to 'INFO SEEK' something about 'C'ta. Some of them even shouted'YAA-HOO' but they all ended up with 'NOT FOUNDMESSAGES'. Several other SEARCH techniques proved useless. Ha-NEUMAN devised a RISKy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED. Soon Ha-EUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka. After doing some local SEARCH, Ha-NEUMAN found 'C'ta weeping under a TREE STRUCTURE Ha-NEUMAN used a LOGIN ID (ring) to identify himself to 'C'ta. After DECRYPTING THE KEY, 'C'ta believed in him and asked him to send a 'STATUS_OK' MESSAGE to RAM.

Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS around 'C'tacaptured Ha-NEUMAN and tried to DELETE him using pyro-techniques. But Ha-NEUMAN managed to spread chaos by spreading the VIRUS 'Fire'. Ha-NEUMAN happily pressed ESCAPE from LAN-ka and conveyed all the STATUSMESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev. RAW-wan decided to take the all powerful RAM head-on and prepared for the battle.

One of the RAW-wan's SUN (son) almost DELETED RAM &LSI-man with a powerful brahma-astra. But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-X gradients and REFORMATTEDRAM and LSI-man. RAM used the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and once for all wiped out RAW-wan's presence on earth. After the battle, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his MICROSOFT WORKS and other USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and every one lived happily ever after.

Interesting Facts - Strange-But- True

1. The average four year-old child asks over four hundred questions a day.

2. The average person presses the snooze button on their alarm clock three times each morning.

3. The three wealthiest families in the world have more assets than the combined wealth of the forty-eight poorest nations.

4. The first owner of the Marlboro cigarette Company died of lung cancer.

5. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

6.The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

7. Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our noses and ears never stop growing.

8. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.

9. A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation. Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a few weeks.

10. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

11. The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.

12. When the moon is directly overhead, you weigh slightly less.

13. Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned his wife or mother because they were both deaf.

14. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.

15. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

27. Babies are born with 300 bones, but by adulthood we have only 206 in our bodies.

28. Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body. If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime.

29. According to Genesis 1:20-22, the chicken came before the egg.

30. The longest place name still in use is : Taumatawhakatangiha ngaoauauotametea turi- Pukakpikimaungahoro nukupokaiwhenuak itanatahu - a New Zealand hill.

31. If you leave Tokyo by plane at 7:00am, you will arrive in Honolulu at approximately 4:30pm the previous day.

32. Scientists in Australia's Parkes Observatory thought they had positive proof of alien life, when they began picking up radio-waves from space. However, after investigation, the radio emissions were traced to a Microwave in the building.

India Struggles to Catch China

BBC's Rupert Wingfield-Hayes

By Rupert Wingfield-HayesBBC News, Delhi and Beijing

The rapid growth of the Indian and Chinese economies have transformed the two countries in recent years. But this prosperity has also brought other problems. Beijing skyline Heavy investment has turned Beijing into a modern city I think it was in 2003, that the world suddenly woke up to China. I am not sure what caused it to happen, what particular event or news story. I just remembered the phone in the BBC's Beijing Bureau started ringing and it has not stopped since. Well now it is happening again and this time it is not China, it is India. Every time you turn on the television or pick up a magazine, it is no longer the rise of China, it is now the rise of China and India. The desire to make comparisons is understandable. Both have more than a billion people. Both are growing at 10% a year.

Delhi is an overwhelming experience. It is as if all of humanity has been squeezed into one city There are, I suspect, many who are hoping that India, with its freedom and democracy, will win this new race to become the next economic super power. I am not so sure. I have spent the last eight years living in Beijing, and only four days in Delhi, so comparisons are difficult. But the few days I recently spent in India made me look at China in a new light.

'Shocking experience' Crowds of people and traffic in New Delhi.

Over 15 million people live in Delhi Delhi is an overwhelming experience. It is as if all of humanity has been squeezed into one city. The streets groan under the weight of people. The air is filled with deafening noise and sumptuous smells. Switch on the television and it is the same. Between channels blasting out voluptuous Bollywood love stories and pop videos, an endless stream of news channels dissect the latest political scandals, and debauched lifestyles of the rich and famous. Coming from China it is an almost shocking experience. But after the initial delight at being in an open society, I started to notice other things. Foreign tourists stared in bewilderment; locals with the resigned look of those used to waiting The hotel was expensive and bad. In my room I searched for a high speed internet connection, a standard feature in anyhotel in China. There was not one. Then with the night-time temperature still well above 30C (86F) the power went out. I lay for hours soaked in sweat trying, and failing, to get back to sleep and wishing I was back in Beijing where the lights never go out. But getting back would not be easy. Passenger queues I looked at my plane ticket. Departure time 0315. Surely that could not be right. I called the front desk. "That's correct sir," he said, "the airport is too small so many flights from Delhi leave in the middle of the night." He was not joking. My taxi struggled along the Jaipur road towards the airport. The two-lane road was clogged by an endless convoy of lorries. Finally I arrived at Indira Gandhi International airport. Despite the hour it was teeming with people. The queues snaked around the airport and back to where they had started. Foreign tourists stared in bewilderment. Locals with the resigned look of those used to waiting. I could not help feeling a sense of relief at being back in a country where things work"Is it always like this?" I asked a man in the queue ahead of me. "Pretty much," he sighed. I was finally shepherded aboard the flight to Shanghai. Next to me sat a friendly looking Indian man in shorts and running shoes. "Is this your first trip to China?" he asked me. "No," I replied, "I live there." "Really," he said, his interest piqued, "what should I expect?" "I think," I said, "you should expect to be surprised." Jaw dropping Six hours later, our plane taxied to a halt in front of the soaring glass and steel of Shanghai's Pudong International Airport A poor child sits on the street in New Delhi (Photo: Manpreet Romana/AFP/Getty Images) In Delhi I had been shocked to see thousands of people sleeping rough on the streets every night, nothing but thefew rags they slept in to call their own.

As we emerged into the cool silence of the ultra-modern terminal, my new companion's jaw slid towards his belly button. "I was not expecting this," he said, his eyes wide in wonder. "Oh no, I definitely was not expecting this". I also found myself looking at China afresh. Later that day as I drove home from Beijing airport along the smooth six-lane highway I could not help feeling a sense of relief at being back in a country where things work. And it was not just the airports and roads. Driving through a village on the edge of Beijing I was struck by how well everyone was dressed. In Delhi, I had been shocked to see thousands of people sleeping rough on the streets every night, nothing but the few rags they slept in to call their own. Even deep in China's countryside that is not something you will see. In Delhi I had been told of the wonders of India's new economy, of the tens of thousands of bright young graduates churning out the world's latest computer software. I thought of China's new economy, of the tens of millions of rural migrants who slave away in factories, making everything from plimsolls to plasma televisions. And of the same rural migrants, heading home to their villages at Chinese New Year festival loaded down with gifts, their pockets stuffed full of cash. China is not a free society, and it has immense problems. But its successes should not be underestimated. They are ones that India, even with its open and democratic society, is still far from matching. From Our Own Correspondent was broadcast on Saturday 22 July, 2006 at 1100 BST on BBC Radio 4. Please check the programme schedules for World Service transmission times.

Corporate Lessons

CORPORATE LESSON #1:____________ _________ _________ _

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell,the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 just to drop that towel that you have on". After thinking for a moment,the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front ofBob.

Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves.Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"____________ _________ _________ _

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controllingThe car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"

The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"

Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the mind is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the Church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129.

It Said,"Go forth and seek; further up, you will find Glory."____________ _________ _________ _

MORAL OF THE STORY:____________ _________ _________ _

Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great Opportunities!

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an american and a french, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout What you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when sSuddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SH** !!!!!!!..... ...."

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive andImportant document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly, Sir" said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine."I just need one copy."

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Girls and Friendships.......An Eye Openner

Girls' relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girlsthemselves.It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends thatgals have.Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequencyof calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs aroundwith the moron who isn't fit to wear Jeetendra's white hoes? Here's a ready reckoner for you:

*Just a friend*

Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??"

Rahul: "Where are you going Shilpa??"

Shilpa: "None of your business" and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph!).

*Good Friend*

You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.

Rahul calls: "Hi Shilpa",

Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye"

(Shilpa calls back after two days)

Shilpa: "What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?".

Rahul: "Generally".

Shilpa: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye."

Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.

*Very good friend*

Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.

She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.

Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.

Shilpa: "You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl".

Rahul: "Who is Shekhar??"

Shilpa : "My boyfriend."

Rahul: Oh! ok. :-(

*Best Friend*

You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you. And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun .

We should remain friends, Rahul. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that."

Rahul: What?? (Rahul drinks all night).

*Best of the Bestest Friends*

Ok now you are really special. You are dad-cum-boyfriend-cum-brother-cum-everything.Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl. You take her around.You make her project.You do her assignments. You are allowed to take her doggie around. Youcan hold hands on the beach.

You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everythingshe drags you along). But but but... don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a hugesoftware company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in Banjara Hills or Jubillee Hills or a Villa in the premium location.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Bill Gates' Word of Wisdom.....

'Wish I wasn't the world's richest man'

Bill Gates, co-founder and chairman of the world's largest software company, Microsoft Corporation, is also the world's richest man. His personal wealth has been estimated at $50 billion (Rs 225,000 crore).

Interestingly, he has been ranked the world's second most influential management guru just behind the legendary Michael Porter, who heads Harvard Business School's Institute for Strategy and Competitiveness, and just ahead of our very own C K Prahalad. Amazing for a man who does not have a college degree, having dropped out of Harvard to establish Microsoft.

Chairman Gates has always interesting things to say and we present some memorable Gatesian observations:"I wish I wasn't (the world's richest man). There's nothing good that comes out of that. You get more visibility as a result of it."

At a chat show for a television channel in New Delhi in December 2005, he shared the platform with Infosys Chairman N R Narayana Murthy. When the mike was handed over to Murthy to test, he said, "One, two, three..." into it and gave it to the Microsoft czar, who promptly said, "One billion, two billion, three billion..."

"I certainly will never be a politician. For every reason. I wouldn't like it, I wouldn't be elected. I'm better at what I'm doing."

"My success, part of it certainly, is that I have focused in on a few things."

"I like my job because it involves learning. I like being around smart people who are trying to figure out new things. I like the fact that if people really try they can figure out how to invent things that actually have an impact."

"I find golf very relaxing. It's a way to get away from work and get outside. It's a lot of fun, and once you get going it's almost kind of addictive."

'Success is a lousy teacher'"Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose."

"If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure."

"Life is not fair; get used to it."

"Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many chances as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself."

The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.

You will not make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

'When the Internet came along, we had it as 5th or 6th priority'"Intellectual property has the shelf life of a banana.""In this business, by the time you realise you're in trouble, it's too late to save yourself. Unless you're running scared all the time, you're gone."

"Competition is always a fantastic thing, and the computer industry is intensely competitive. Whether it's Google or Apple or free software, we've got some fantastic competitors and it keeps us on our toes."

Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity.

Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

"Sometimes we do get taken by surprise. For example, when the Internet came along, we had it as a fifth or sixth priority."

"As I look forward, I'm very optimistic about the things I see ahead. As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others."

'Kids are taking PCs to new heights'"Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning."

"There will be 'two societies' in the future: high-paid knowledge workers and low-paid service workers."

"There are people who don't like capitalism, and people who don't like PCs. But there's no one who likes the PC who doesn't like Microsoft. People everywhere love Windows."

"Every day we're saying, 'How can we keep this customer happy?' 'How can we get ahead in innovation by doing this, because if we don't, somebody else will.'"

"Kids are taking PCs and the Internet to new heights. They're the ones that are designing the cutting-edge web sites. They're the ones that are pushing forth things like digital music, digital photos, instant messaging; and they will take this tool in directions that we don't even expect."

'Spam will be a thing of the past in 2 years'"Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so irritating."

"Does the e-mail say it's about 'enlargement' -- that might be spam. Spam will be a thing of the past in two years' time."

"Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more user-friendly... Their best approach, so far, has been to take all the old brochures, and stamp the words user-friendly on the cover."

"Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight."

'I suppose I could comb my hair more often'"Microsoft is not about greed. It's about innovation and fairness."

"Is the rich world aware of how four billion of the six billion live? If we were aware, we would want to help out, we'd want to get involved."

"As you improve health in a society, population growth goes down. You know, I thought it was... before I learned about it, I thought it was paradoxical."

"AIDS is a disease that is hard to talk about. The ideal thing would be to have a 100 percent effective AIDS vaccine."

"I have drifted away from thinking about these philanthropic things. And it was only as the wealth got large enough and Melinda and I had talked about the view that the wealth wasn't something that would be good to just pass to the children."

"I'm serious when I do my work. I'm not serious when I'm home with my kids."

"If you're asking whether I intentionally mess up my hair, no, I don't. And certain things, like my freckles, they're just there. I don't do anything consciously. I suppose I could get contact lenses. I suppose I could comb my hair more often."