Kristan Higgins and Sarah MacLean get real about body image and weight

Kristan Higgins and Sarah MacLean get real about body image and weight

Authors Kristan Higgins and Sarah MacLean join us to have a candid conversation about body image and weight inspired by Kristan’s Good Luck with That, new this week. Sarah’s most recent release is this summer’s historical romance Wicked and the Wallflower (Bareknuckle Bastards #1).

Q: Kristan, what made you decide to write Good Luck with That?

Kristan Higgins (Photo: Deborah Feingold)

Kristan: Weight and eating have been issues for me all my life. The crazy amount of importance society gives to size and shape is crazy, maddening and yet … so many of us buy into it. I wanted to show the journey to self-acceptance in a gritty, realistic, sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes funny way. Women’s fiction is more freeing than romance in some respects, because the issues are front and center, rather than the romantic relationships, so I got to really delve into this topic.

Sarah: Lord, I want more plus-sized representation in fiction. And not just because I’m plus-sized. Well, probably a lot because I am, though. I’ve written a few larger heroines in my romances (I’m writing one now!), and I was happy to see that Good Luck with That was giving us not one, but three. This is going to sound crazy, probably, but I was also really pleased to see that you were going to give us three plus-sized women who struggled with body positivity, because man, do I do that every day. Which is probably oversharing, but I’ve said it now, and I’m not taking it back.

Kristan: Welcome to the club, my friend. I think for most of us, body image and self-acceptance are an ongoing, imperfect journey. It is for me. Harder on some days, harder for some people. It’s different for everyone.

Writing the book brought up a lot of my truths … all those times I judged myself because of how big or thin I was. How I let fear of rejection stop me from doing things, how I compared myself with other women and found myself lacking. Writing the book was like ripping off a Band-Aid so the cut can finally heal. I’ve lived every wretched eating habit there is, binge to purge and everything in between. It was only by giving up on attaining a body nature never intended me to have that I came to appreciate my physical self where it was. Georgia says at one point, “If anyone had judged me as harshly as I judged myself, I would’ve hated them.” Right? We would NEVER be so mean to our friends as we’ve been to ourselves, which is why Georgia and Marley’s friendship is such a hugely important part of the story.

Sarah MacLean

Sarah: Absolutely. And maybe that’s why Good Luck with That ran the gamut for me — I was alternatively so happy to see myself in the characters, and also so totally emotional about the fact that I saw myself in them. Right from the get-go, from the moment Emerson resurrects that list that the three girls made as kids, it felt like you’d looked right into me. I made that list. Hell, I still make that list! We’re told over and over again that our bodies are to be loathed if they’re not perfect, and in my experience, the work of self-acceptance really is an ongoing, everyday challenge — which we see mirrored again and again in all three women. I saw myself in each of them, and that was at turns both awesome and devastating.

I also feel like it’s worth saying that we’re in a golden age of body positivity in media; I’m so incredibly excited for young women growing up in the age of Instagram and Tumblr where body-positive people are posting and celebrating and owning their bodies, their health, their beauty. I believe social media, television and books are changing the way plus-sized women think about ourselves and the relationship between our weight and our worth. They are for me, for sure. I bought a bikini this summer and I’ve literally never even considered it before!

Kristan: Yay! How did you like it?

Sarah: Well, ask me in a few weeks, because I still haven’t worked up the courage to wear it. But I’m going to. If I say it here, I’ll have to, right?

Kristan: You do. I also wore my first bikini this year at the ripe old age of 53, and the world got to see me as I was: pudgy, scarred from an operation or two, whiter than the sand, kinda lumpy in places … and the experience taught me that no one ran away in horror, and that I really like swimming in the ocean.

Social media swings both ways, of course. Photoshop, filters, all that presents an unrealistic idea of what women look like. I was talking to two twentysomethings yesterday, and while they’re about as physically blessed as anyone I’ve met, they both admitted to comparing—with other young women, with how they were last year, with celebrities. I think the difference is a lot more acceptance, as you said, Sarah. And more information about what health is, and how many parts of your life it affects. It’s not your size; it’s how you feel physically, mentally, emotionally. It’s so much more than what size your pants are.

Sarah: Absolutely. Though it’s definitely hard to remember that when you’re out in the world. I was really comforted by watching these women struggle with that truth … which underscores the need for more representation of larger women in books! I want all our stories.

Kristan: Me, too! Again, women’s fiction lets you explore different situations and ranges of experience. Emerson’s story is tough to read, since we find out how it ends in the first chapter. Georgia is a work in progress in terms of seeing her value, and Marley is the furthest along on that journey, though she still has her issues to confront.

Q: Was there a scene that was hard to write or read?

Kristan: Definitely the scene where Emerson eats two pizzas. It wasn’t the physical act of eating; it was her acknowledgment of the power her food addiction had over her. I’ve been there … in fact, that scene is taken from my own life, when I was a freshman in college, alone in my room, feeling friendless and isolated (I was living in a senior dorm, no roomies, afraid to talk to girls who seemed so much older than I was). Food was my friend. Eating was my hobby. Eating gave me plans for the weekend, even if I was alone. So tapping into those emotions and loneliness … was definitely difficult to be that honest.

Sarah: I have no trouble imagining that. This is an interesting question for me, because I’m not sure there was one scene that was more difficult to read for me … but there were definitely several scenes where I saw myself reflected and I was challenged. Emerson’s letters to her other self — the self she might have been if only she were thin … that struck incredibly true for me. “I would go to that party if only I were thin … I would wear that bathing suit if only I were thin … I would chat up that person if only I were thin … I would, I might, if only …” Getting yourself off that particular hamster thought-wheel is incredibly difficult—it’s an ongoing challenge for me, at least. The most powerful thread of the book for me was that Georgia and Marley worked through that challenge alongside their friend, while struggling to be without her.

Q: What do you hope readers take away from Good Luck with That?

Sarah: First, I hope that readers will agree that there should be more stories about plus-sized women! We need more representation in media so we can all see ourselves in truth. Georgia, Marley and Emerson are three beautifully crafted, complicated, funny women, each of whom struggles in a different way, obviously, because no two women are the same. We have nuance and character and we struggle in different ways. I was lucky enough to see myself in all three of them and, while I’m not every woman of size out there, I hope other readers are able to do the same.

Kristan: I’ve heard that from a lot of readers … “It was like you were in my head” and “I’ve felt exactly the same way.” I hope the takeaway message is this: You are enough exactly as you are. Being healthy isn’t measured by BMI or weight; it starts with kindness to ourselves. Taking care of ourselves, being friends with our bodies, surrounding ourselves with people who see and love us … that’s what happiness looks like.

About Good Luck with That:

New York Times bestselling author Kristan Higgins is beloved for her heartfelt novels filled with humor and wisdom. Now, she tackles an issue every woman deals with: body image and self-acceptance.

Emerson, Georgia, and Marley have been best friends ever since they met at a weight-loss camp as teens. When Emerson tragically passes away, she leaves one final wish for her best friends: to conquer the fears they still carry as adults.

For each of them, that means something different. For Marley, it’s coming to terms with the survivor’s guilt she’s carried around since her twin sister’s death, which has left her blind to the real chance for romance in her life. For Georgia, it’s about learning to stop trying to live up to her mother’s and brother’s ridiculous standards, and learning to accept the love her ex-husband has tried to give her.

But as Marley and Georgia grow stronger, the real meaning of Emerson’s dying wish becomes truly clear: more than anything, she wanted her friends to love themselves.

A novel of compassion and insight, Good Luck With That tells the story of two women who learn to embrace themselves just the way they are.