Music Helps Girls Get Drunk

Guys everywhere have just been given the key to getting their dates drunker: play music! At least according to a new study at the University of Portsmouth, which has proven that young women drink alcohol faster when music is playing.

Basically, they took 45 female undergrads and had them watch an environmental documentary, some in silence and some listening to Justice. Those listening to the French electro duo either had a slow-tempo or a fast-tempo version. Then the researchers timed how long it took for the chicks to finish their alcoholic drinks.

The female subjects who listened to music, no matter the pace, finished their drinks faster and felt less drunk than those sipping in silence. Because, apparently, music makes women feel the effects of alcohol—slurred speech, impaired senses, general sloppiness, etc.—less.

Conclusion, this:

#SCIENCE!

(Somehow, frat guys stumbled upon this ancient secret years ago and will continue to bump their douchey jams as loud as possible now.)

So thanks, music. Thanks for that one time I don't really remember so well, but I somehow won a free t-shirt. Or for that other time I had to search for a piece of my friends tooth in the parking lot… well maybe not for that time. Not cool.