Frank Mulligan: When shop talk turns to high finance

Wednesday

Yes, lucky reader, it’s once again time to play “Did this conversation actually take place?” the wildly popular interactive column that’s been likened to “intellectual Wii without a remote.”

Yes, lucky reader, it’s once again time to play “Did this conversation actually take place?” the wildly popular interactive column that’s been likened to “intellectual Wii without a remote.”

The stakes could not be lower. Succeeding earns the participant nothing more than the satisfaction that comes with excelling in an exercise that has little or no point.

The rules are simple. A conversation is recounted below and the reader is asked to discern whether the discussion actually took place, is somewhat embellished upon, or is totally the product of a mind in disarray, the kind of mind that can come up with phrases like “intellectual Wii without a remote.”

As in so many past purported byplays, the following exchange is supposed to have taken place in an office located somewhere within the continental United States. Good luck:

(John approaches Frank’s cubicle)

John: Do you have change for a $5 for the vending machine?

Frank: I usually only carry $100s on me.

John: Right, I knew that.

Frank: Maybe I’ve got the coins in my desk.

(Frank opens a desk drawer to reveal several hundred pennies, a pack of Wrigley’s Doublemint gum that dates back to 2006 and a nickel. John moves on to Terri’s cubicle.)

John: Terri, do you have change for a $5 for the vending machine?

Terri: (After searching through pockets.) I’ve got $3.

John: I’ll give you the $5 for the $3.

Terri: Here, just take $1 and hold on to the $5.

John: No, here, just take the $5 and I’ll take the $3.

Terri: Just take the $1 and you can pay me back.

John: I’ll never have $5 available again. This is it.

Terri: Just take the $1.

John: Just take the $5.

Frank: I’ll take the $5. (He is ignored)

John: No, really, just give me the $3 for the $5.

Frank: I’ll take the $3. (He is ignored)

John: You can just give me the $3 for the $5, and you can pay me back.

Terri: You could take the $1 and pay me back.

John: It’s better you give me the $3. You have to understand. I’ll never have an extra $5 again. This is it. It’s the last time.

Terri: OK.

(The transaction is concluded and John is able to purchase a bag of Burger King Ketchup & Fries Flavored Potato Snacks for 95 cents.)

Well, that’s all in our latest installment of “Did this conversation actually take place?”

Well, did it?

Frank Mulligan is an editor in GateHouse Media Service’s Raynham office and can be reached at fmulliga@cnc.com.

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