Category Archives: audio

I’ve had this poem in the back of my mind for nearly a year. Back in June 2013, I was in Ireland and caught up with an old mate, Paddy Walsh, whom I hadn’t seen for over 20 years. I mentioned to him that I write poetry these days, and he immediately cast his eyes up to the ceiling, and gave me a great rant about how he’s sick to death of poets, how useless they are, how they think they know everything and do nothing etc. etc. It was one of the great rants – he’s very good at them. (By the way, this was before the death of Seamus Heaney).

I had to tell him that there was more than a grain of truth in his views in my experience.

In an email to me later he continued in the same vein, much to my amusement:

Honest to Jaysus whenever poets get on to the radio ( like every day!!) here they really piss me off – they know it all – experts on the economy, political situation – you name it , they have the answer, and it always revolves around them and their writings and their fuckin egos!! Maybe it’s Ireland ( but from what you observed – not so!) – Heaney is NEVER out of the papers and other media. I’m sure even he’s pissed off being so adored!!

(I’ve removed a few of the expletives Paddy)

Then recently I came across a Kit Wright poem: “Everybody hates the English”. This prompted me to knock the two ideas together and I came up with “Everybody Hates Poets”. Soon after I wrote it, I performed it in the “Sixty Second Slam” at the Adelaide Fringe, put on by Paroxysm Press. And I won first prize, a cool $100 cash. Thanks Paroxysm.

A theatre reviewer in the audience said it was a “cheekily self-effacing piece”!

I’m in the State final of the Australian Poetry Slam tomorrow (Friday 2nd November), 7:30 at Higher Ground, Light Square, Adelaide.

This morning I did an interview at Radio Adelaide, on the Breakfast Show.

The young interviewer, Angas, obviously didn’t know what to expect in terms of slam poetry. Sue Reece, who invited me along to do the interview, specifically requested that I do one of my poems called “Slam Poem”. The poem requires a fair bit of energy. It’s really written to be delivered to a rowdy pub audience.

So I put a bit of energy into it, and young Angas seemed to be caught a bit off guard. He said something like “Whoa that was pretty aggressive”, and said it had a fair bit of rap in it.

So now based on reaction from friends who listened in, I have a new identity: aggressive gangster hard core rapper.

You can hear the interview (about 10 mins, including that great character Jill Wherry), at

You can catch one of my poems “Adelaide is..” opening and closing the ABC Radio National 360 Documentary, “The Poet Stripped Bare” (with a language warning), about ‘the seedier side’ of Adelaide poetry scene.

or on ABC Radio National 729 on the AM dial this Sunday 3 June 2012 10:05AM

“This is poetry…but not as you know it. Take a deeper look at Adelaide’s literary scene to find a bunch of poets who you won’t find on the manicured lawns at Writer’s Week. Instead, find yourself in the ‘best dive in town’, where we meet one of the scene’s most notorious characters, Teri Louise Kelly. Follow Teri’s unique story, and through her unapologetic and brutally honest verse, discover what it took to lay herself bare as a woman, and as a poet.

‘You know how it feels right? …How it feels when you wake up facing the brutal reality that the total cost at life’s checkout is beyond your resources and despite what they preach, life isn’t even an evens game… you know how that feels don’t you?’”

I was very pleased to be awarded 2nd prize in the Friendly Street “National Political Poetry Competition”, for my poem Australia.

The poem was inspired by Alan Ginsberg’s great 9 minute poetic rant America, in which he laments his fractured relationship with his home country. He addresses America as if he was addressing a life partner.

My take on Australia also laments a fractured relationship with a country I adopted, or adopted me, over 20 years ago. It was really during the Howard years that I fell out with Australia, though things have improved somewhat since he was so sweetly beaten in 2007. Shame Labor has been such a let-down, frittering away a huge amount of goodwill, and caving in to the bullying of the Murdoch press. But almost anything is better than an Australian Liberal (read hard right) government.

Here’s the poem, and there’s a link to the Ginsberg poem at the end.

—

Australia

(after Alan Ginsberg)

Australia, I gave you my heart and you broke it.

It’s over between us.

This is not about me it’s about you. You’ve changed.

Australia I came to you with nothing, and now I’m something. Why am I not sure I made the right choice?

Australia I was a socialist when I was young and I’m not sorry.

I marched in the streets, waved placards, shouted slogans, sang “The Internationale”, wore the T-shirt. You seemed to want the same things I did. I thought we would grow closer as we got older, but Australia we’ve grown apart.

Australia why do you insist on draping another country’s flag over your shoulder?

What is it with you and America?

Australia you do realise you’re in the southern hemisphere?

Australia why do you have a third world country living right inside your belly?

Why does it seem like most of your history books only go back 200 years?

Did you eat all of your native animals Australia? If so, why do you need all those sheep as well?

Australia is it your ambition to supply the whole world with uranium and carbon dioxide?

Australia take me to your leader.

Australia, cancel that last request. It’s clear you don’t have any leaders.

They’re coming to steal our daughters, to put a mosque on every street corner, to wake us with a wailing call to prayer, to force our women to cover their faces, to impose Sharia law.

Australia this is the impression I get from your media.

Is this correct?

Ok Australia, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. You can be Australia again.

I’m too small for the job anyway.

Seriously Australia, if we are to resume our relationship, you need to make some changes.

I’m prepared to help. I’ll put my straight shoulder to the wheel.

Australia I’ll meet you halfway. I’ll give up beer, watching football and staying out late, if you’ll give up on shock jocks, spineless politicians and your forelock tugging to far off countries. That seems fair to me.