Most Helpful Girl

Guys often decide within seconds whether or not they're interested because of how girls look. I'm not going to deny that girls sometimes do that too, but usually girls aren't going to be completely interested in a guy before he even opens his mouth. But guys do that all the time.

A couple days ago the new girl who works at the post office next door to my restaurant came in for the first time. All the poor girl did was tell us she was working next door, order her food and leave, and as soon as the door swung shut behind her, my creepy coworker (who scared so many girls out of the restaurant that the owner told us to stop letting him work with customers) instantly said, "she's perfect." And when her food was ready and the manager told me to bring it to her, my idiot coworker literally pushed me into the wall and screamed, "I wanna take it! I wanna take it!" really loud in front of the customers. The manager told him no but he took the food and ran out the door. Then when he came back he announced that he loved her, and then I remembered that I didn't ask her her name so I asked him what it was and he said, "why would I know that?"

The bottom line is, guys can be really, really narrow when it comes to what they like about girls. All he cared about was that she was pretty (which she really is), even though she's way out of his league. He's done that with tons of girls, myself included at the very beginning (but I shot him down really quick and he made angry faces at me for like a month after that, which was longer than I had known him at the time I said no). Guys see a girl they find attractive, and then they go for it instantly, because they think that waiting too long is what lands them in the "friend zone," failing to see that jumping in too quick lands them in the "creeper zone," from which there is no escape.

You helped a lot. Thanks. :) Your coworker is so weird. He's the perfect example of an immature, selfish and empty-headed person. I just hate it when guys think of us as a tool for their own pleasure without considering our feelings and thoughts. It seems weird to me that he's trying too hard to make me believe that we have a connection already. Everything I say is identical to what he believes in (oh, yeah) and whatnot. How should I deal with him? Could it ever be genuine?

Guys like that do believe that it's genuine. If a guy is "in love" with a girl instantly or believes in love at first sight, then he doesn't understand the difference between love and physical attraction. Guys like that are immature and not worth any girl's time.

What Guys Said 15

In one sense, this is essentially the age-old question, "(Do you believe in/Is there a such thing as) love at first sight?"

My personal belief: No. You seem to be asking the fellow ladies, but I'll add my opinion for the hell of it; I'm an exception to men, or so I feel, but this question isn't often posed to men because, all too often, the answer seems to be, "Psssh, who cares, she hot? I'll tap that."

I will not deny that there are people out there who can read people enough, through body language, to know **generally** if someone is a decent person. In this case, that sensed decency, plus a physical attraction, can elicit an interest. Love, perhaps not. Infatuation, certainly. It's an old example, considering I am almost 29, but when I was 13, my first crush literally 'happened' the first time I saw my crush singing in the choir. I was instantly interested due to her beautiful solo voice, and angelic appearance, though I knew nothing more about her. And, I certainly cannot say I was in love with her.

I feel I have a very strong "douche detector", both with men and women. I feel it's from working in customer service, getting a lot of experience with different types of people. I personally think this guy is right; you're doing your research before making a decision, which shows that, though uncertain what is going on, you care enough to do something before making a decision. This, however, doesn't mean the guy is right for you; for that is another question entirely, something that cannot be answered even in this long-winded message.

In short, I feel this is normal; based on generally-limited social interaction, attraction based on appearance seems to be the norm (hence the giant "friend-zone" issue), though this does NOT mean this guy is right for you. Tread carefully, and recognize true appreciation and care.

Should you respond to my answer, please do not expect a prompt response; my internet connection, and personal availability, are intermittent. =/

Thanks. :) I am not talking about love though. Trying too hard to create a connection or making me believe that there is a connection already is what makes me feel uncomfortable. Does it look strange to you too?

Well, if a guy is trying to conjure a connection out of thin air, and/or professing his undying love for you after three hours, yes, that is strange. I guess I was thinking of a normal "chase", in which case persistence would be very normal. On the other hand, I know from experience that occasionally, there will be a woman that is so striking in one way or another that I can't help but be thrilled simply by being in her presence. So, he may be feeling a 'connection' on his side. [cont.]

I got "acquaintance zoned". I was the odd man out in an art class, the guy with no talent.

It was like being at a party where your only friend is the annoying dude. LIke trying to fit in with unfriendly people who don't speak the same language.

Overall, the situation sucked. I had the impression everyone there was making fun of me behind my back.

She was the only girl that ever interacted with me outside of class.

In a land of confusion I reached out to someone who seemed friendly. And she was cute, so it wasn't too hard. I just misjudged the situation.

To her, I was just some guy in class - so she had no idea why I was singling her out.

I'd simply found her engaging. So I paid attention to her artwork, and tried to get to know her.

Now it's in the past, I don't really think it was all that big a deal. When someone rejects your advances, it's more than likely due to their mindset than your approach. That's what men have to live with.

You're the selectors, we're just the ones going around seeing if we've got what you're interested in. I value myself. I may try to get you to see who I am and botch it, but that doesn't affect my self worth.

OH YES I have and recently at that :D just that it's the other way round, I fit the bill of the guy you mention here ha ha ha

NOW I'd like YOU to tell me why I 'act' that way :D :D I'm at a loss to understand myself.

My inputs if any will come later ;)

AH I just read the MH and my 1st input, I don't know how she looks lol nor do I have any visual in my head - never bothered with it nor tried to put pieces of a puzzle together with what little I know ha ha

It's like this that we generally have a visual of someone when we start talking to someone online.

We gather information about a few of their traits, features and make a picture in our head about them (ofcourse that suits our idea of good looking). THESE I consciously I avoid doing to begin with.

Though I calculate their traits & nature beyond what they perceive cause most of the time our perceptions especially about self leave out a few factors. But I don't concertize any of my observations nor do I ever point them out generally. But those are scarcely wrong but very useful in knowing that person & helps in the relationship whatever title it may be.

My complimenting is based on what I observe, perceive & understand & never a flattery with an intent.

I tend to be as critical too but I try to mind how my words are framed :D

Ah one more thing & most important; I reign in the excitement part that we normally feel in initial stages always so whatever I say and do is well because I'm well aware of it and in control of it. This is because else once the initial excitement wears off it'll be the same old story of other relationships (whatever it may be) :)

I've been on the other side of this. Basically I'd been watching this girl in my class for a couple of days and I thought she was really cute. But when I asked her out she said she didn't know me well enough. In my case, I knew her more than she knew me. Give the dude a chance :)

Yeah once. I was talking to this girl on the net and after 10 days after first meeting her online... she admitted she liked me. I don't know what was to blame. Maybe the things I said? Anyway, it didn't work out.

"They keep on flattering you, complimenting you and make you believe that there's a connection between you without even knowing you"

Especially the last part is something I would do, trying to make you believe that there's a connection between us. And with a good dose of flattering/complimenting (English is my third language, but I don't think there's a difference).

If I hadn't been successful in getting inside your panties within a few months I would move on to the next girl and repeat it

No problem. But then again, I could be wrong (sadly there's no one golden truth).

But string him along without any sex and even very minimal cuddling and kissing - see how long he hangs around. Start hinting very strongly that you want a solid boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and see his reactions (even ask if you can use his phone for sending an sms and if he sweats and denies you that, then he probably has many sms from multiple girls that he doesn't want you to see-because for us guys to...

get inside many girls panties we have to make you think you are the only girl in our lives or at least that "special someone". Even ask around, if you can, about his past and how he has treated other girls.

And in the (probably) unlikely event he grants you access to his phone check out for apps such as "BB Contacts" (Black Book Contacts), "SexOrg...rLite" (Sex Organizer Lite) and "kamasutra", well - if he has iPhone at least :)

Hahaha thanks for your answer. I don't really know him to do all that. We've spoken for twice or maybe thrice. That's why I think he's weird with all his compliments and his efforts in making me believe that we have so much in common. Sounds weird, huh? Some people think it's an instant attraction, but I just don't get it.

Well for a guy online he probably wants cyber wohoo from you with some pics or cam time hahaha. If its a guy in person he probably wants to hook up with you. If its a girl she probably wants something you have... you know just sponges. But in time I think its obvious if they are genuine or shady. The shady ones never stick around long if they don't get what they want.

A LOT of guys seem to do this. They will either be head over heel for you without any relationship or dates and it's incredibly odd! I know that they're only in to my looks or the version of me they have build up in their heads. The more concerning part is when they try to mould you in to the version of you they have...

Also when you do agree to date them and they're almost trying to force a relationship/titles on to you right away.

"I know that they're only in to my looks or the version of me they have build up in their heads." Exactly! He is trying too hard to create a connection or worse making me believe that there's a connection already. We've spoken twice or something, so we don't one another. Why does he act like this and how should I deal with him? Do you think it could ever be genuine? Lots of questions I know. :)

Yeah, this guy in high school told one of my friends he was really into me and I hadn't even laid eyes on him before, he added me on windows I'm and he kept telling me how much he liked me. I was really weirded out and I couldn't (from then on) talk to him normally.

He then turned out to be gay and people started to say I had turned him gay when I didn't do anything at all.

I don't know why he acted like that maybe he thought if it doesn't work out with her it won't work out with any other girl.

I've had this. My ex asked me to be his girlfriend the night he met me. I thought it was strange, especially since I had just gotten out of a relationship. I went with it anyways and it ended up being a great relationship. He later told me that I reminded him of a girl he had dream about as a kid so he thought I was "the one." I suppose its strange, but it was kind of cute in its own way :)

it sucks as well, when you actually like the guy but because he fell for you months before you even know each other he's got all various facits of who you are worked out. its rarely got anything to do with who you are and its quite a burden having to disabuse him from his ill formed misconceptions.

aside from instantly deciding you want to get to know someone-- things should unfold over time through experience. not expectations, imo

I would think that tends to happen when you find someone very appealing to you at a glance. You decide to want to get to know them, and you decide to like them based on attraction, and unless they prove you otherwise with a bad personality that doesn't click with yours, then you'll keep complimenting them and getting to like them even more?

I mean, I don't do that.. but It's what makes sense.. as to why someone would do it.

Yeah, there was this guy who came up to me out of nowhere when I was walking to class. He said: "Girl, I don't know you well, but you're so dam pretty would you go out with me?" I was taken aback because that was so sudden, and I never even laid eyes on him AT ALL. But it was so flattering I almost said yes but instead I shook my head because I already liked someone else.

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Anonymous

Yes he wanted sex

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