Gold Member

There are guys that hide in the closet there are what people refer to as "Flamers" and w all know who they are, but generally most people think of those two categories.

First of all its stupid to put people into categories, but thats stereotypes for ya.

Anyway, I know a lot of guy people, some people openly, others hiding it, but my best gay friend's name was brian.

He is openly gay, but has completely hetero tendencies, aside from having sex with other guys.

A lot people didnt know he was gay, but he didnt hide it.

What I'm trying to say(finally) people arent always what they seem to be, sometimes you're too blind to see it, sometimes they hide it. but as far as looking at someones exterior to see what they're like, it's often impossible.

Have you even been mistaken for something you weren't because of the way you present yourself? A lot of people think I'm gay, or a psycho(strange combo)
People either for me psycho, or call me faggot.

Psycho because of the things I say and write.
Gay because of the way I dress and act toward certain people.

I always tell my kitchen manager, Travis, he's sexy. "Travis, you may not realize it but your a goodlooking guy, maybe even 'Man-Pretty'" Mostly jokingly. I can say he's handsome, because i really think he is, but i dont find him "attractive" hes good looking, but i dont wanna fuck 'em.

Maybe I just havent met the right guy yet, but i dont think I'm gay.
I do dress in women's clothes(hey, it feels good... smooth and soft on my skin and personal parts.)

Sorry bud, but I have no idea where you are trying to take this thread! Is it about being mislabled, freedom to live without a label, men who 'don't yet know they are gay', men who hide it, transvestites or your own sexuality? It kinda rambled...

Gold Member

To Summarize: You are basically wondering why your friend, who is openly gay, does not receive harassment whereas you, who identify as straight with some flamboyant tendencies, are harassed?

Let's change the topic slightly ... How secure are you in your own identity? The reason why your friend, who happens to be gay yet is not harrassed, is that he seems to be secure in himself. He doesn't hide his sexual orientation, yet he also isn't drawing attention to himself. He's comfortable with himself and he is able to make other people feel comfortable around him.

Your behavior, from what you report, can be perceived as flamboyant and probably makes other men feel uneasy. Young men aren't used to other men complimenting them on their looks, and society, in general, is not too tolerant of men wearing women's clothing. Do you defy certain norms because you may feel insecure at times. People are very good at picking up on insecurity and I do believe that some people prey on those insecurities.

I think the real issue is not really straight-acting vs. being closeted; the real issue is how secure you are in yourself and how comfortable you make those around you.You may want to reflect on your behavior and why you interact with people in a Bohemian fashion. I don't mean this as a personal attack on you; rather I encourage you to examine your behavior and how it impacts others...

Gold Member

Sorry bud, but I have no idea where you are trying to take this thread! Is it about being mislabled, freedom to live without a label, men who 'don't yet know they are gay', men who hide it, transvestites or your own sexuality? It kinda rambled...

Gold Member

The short answer is that the preference for men as sex partners doesn't necessarily correlate to feminine behavior, transvestism, job preference, sports ability, personality type or any of the other things that our culture assumes that it does.

Nor is the inverse true. Not everybody who throws like a girl, is a hairdresser, has a nelly sense of humor, looks good in drag or can't hold their wrist straight for the life of them is gay/bi/curious/questioning.

Mass culture would never help you know that, but the only thing that makes one gay is a desire to sleep with persons of one's own gender.

Gold Member

The short answer is that the preference for men as sex partners doesn't necessarily correlate to feminine behavior, transvestism, job preference, sports ability, personality type or any of the other things that our culture assumes that it does.

Nor is the inverse true. Not everybody who throws like a girl, is a hairdresser, has a nelly sense of humor, looks good in drag or can't hold their wrist straight for the life of them is gay/bi/curious/questioning.

Mass culture would never help you know that, but the only thing that makes one gay is a desire to sleep with persons of one's own gender.