Q&A for Teens: Getting High: A Smokescreen?

Last week at a party my friend offered me a joint. I've never smoked pot and I'm tempted, but I feel guilty about doing it since I know my parents don't approve. What should I do?

Let’s examine the pros and cons of smoking marijuana. What are the reasons you would want to smoke it? What are the reasons you think you shouldn’t? You say your parents don’t approve. Do you know that for a fact? Have you asked them what their opinion is on the matter, and their reasons for that opinion? By the way, I applaud the fact that you've considered the viewpoint of someone older (and maybe even wiser!) in this decision.

The next question you could ask yourself about getting high is: do you want to float through parts of life on a cloud of ether? Personally, I wouldn’t enjoy getting high or drunk because I find so much satisfaction in being present in my life as I’m living it. I wouldn’t want to miss out on life with myself, my family, my friends, my God, my books, my music by slipping into an alter-version of reality. Even when life is tough or rough or difficult, personally, I wouldn’t want to escape from it by getting high, because when the high wears off, the same issues are there, and I would not have worked on growing through my challenges if I'd just check out. I’d come down from the high in the exact same place as I was before I smoked the joint. In my opinion, that would be a shame, because life is for growing and learning and forging connections with people through being fully present.

Another point to consider is that things are usually not as they seem—I can guarantee that from my work as a therapist; I am honored daily by intimate glimpses into people’s inner lives, and those lives are rarely as exciting, fulfilling, happy, and problem-free as they seem from the outside. People who are high seem to be enjoying themselves, but what is true enjoyment, what is true pleasure? Is checking out true pleasure, or is spending real time, where you’re actually present, with the people and music and books and spiritual experiences that you love true pleasure? Consider this question: the people who seem to be enjoying pot—are they really enjoying the experience? Or are they enjoying escaping their reality for a few moments?

Many pleasures of this world—especially illicit pleasures—are a smokescreen. They seem pleasurable, but they don’t afford you actual, deep, meaningful, lasting pleasure.

Will smoking pot enhance your life, or just give you illusory pleasure?

I do apply the word “illicit” to marijuana, since it is illegal in the United States. Depending on which state you live in, if you are caught smoking or possessing marijuana, you could be fined, sent to jail, or put on probation (which means random drug tests and checking in with a probation officer to make sure you’re not using the drug again), all of which would stay on your permanent record and may make getting in to college or graduate school or finding a job difficult. By the way, because marijuana is illegal, it is also unregulated, which means that you don’t really know what you’re smoking, and poisonous or dangerous compounds could be in the joint you smoke. Quite a lot of damaging possible consequences for an experience you’re not even sure you want to have.

Among addiction specialists and mental health experts, marijuana is considered to be the drug which makes people lazy, unmotivated, and willing to settle in their lives for the status quo; it’s the “motivator terminator” drug. Not a pretty title.

From a spiritual point of view, will smoking pot enhance your life, or just give you illusory pleasure? Will it even give you pleasure at all, or just a lot of headaches? What will you gain in your life from getting high, and what might you lose? Also, who will make sure you’re safe, physically and sexually, while your faculties are impaired? Do you want to put yourself into a position where your judgment is hazy?

I challenge you to honestly think about all these question before you decide to light up, and I’m extremely impressed that you took the first step in that direction by writing in and asking me about this issue.

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About the Author

Lauren Roth, MSW, LSW, is a graduate of Princeton University, and an inspirational speaker across North America and on the high seas. Mrs. Roth and her husband, Rabbi Dr. Daniel Roth, are the parents of six children.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 21

(16)
Shira Goldstein Brooklyn New York,
May 17, 2013 2:50 AM

Thanks so much for all these beautiful articles!

(15)
sandra,
January 2, 2012 12:02 AM

marijuana causes brain defects

The use of marijuana causes brain defects, such as loss of memory and the inability to find words to express yourself.

(14)
Tony,
December 29, 2011 11:21 AM

Excellent non judgemental straight talk.

I have been involved in 'helping hurting people' for 20 years, and I can say to this young person you do not 'try' drugs! Starting is easy, the difficult part as any addict will tell you is stopping!
Consider the consequences before you take the risk your actions are your responsibility

(13)
Simcha Mendel,
December 29, 2011 10:24 AM

Stay away from any type of drug including cigarettes!!!

At 52 yrs. of age at the present time and growing up in the '60's and '70's, I never smoked cigarettes, never smoked cigars, never smoked a pipe, never smoked marijuana, never got drunk and never took any other drug aside from prescription medicine and vitamin supplements and I am very proud of it. This is the way I was raised. My parents as well never smoked anything and never got drunk a day in their lives. When I was in ninth grade, I joined a non-religious but Jewish youth movement. I was the youngest in a group amongst 11th graders. It was a wonderful group that was never involved in smoking anything or getting drunk. Then when they graduated from high school, they left the organization and another group of ninth graders joined the organization and I was the oldest in the group. This group of ninth graders smoked marijuana. Instead of
G-d forbid following in their footsteps, I spoke to the director of the youth movement about the situation and left the organization because of the problem. I was always very independent in my way of thinking and never followed in the ways of those who did the wrong thing. Thank G-d, this is the way my parents raised me and I am thankful everyday for this upbringing. My suggestion is to have a mind of your own like I did and still do and you will be a much happier person. As a Torah observant Jew today, there are those who try to get me to drink alcoholic beverages on different occasions such as at a kiddush in shule and on other occasions as well. Aside from a couple of sips of alcohol in order to make a "L'Chaim", and wine in order to make kiddush, I simply decline even though there is pressure from others to drink more. Learn from me to be independent and to follow in the footsteps of those who do positive things and NOT negative things and you will be a much happier person.

(12)
Anonymous,
December 29, 2011 12:53 AM

pot causes anxiety and other psychological problems!

People think they smoke marijuana to feel pleasure and relax, but in fact all pot users know that it frequently causes people to "get paranoid" -- that is, feel irrational anxiety, suspicion and fear. I know people who never had panic attacks, yet had them regularly after smoking marijuana (they must have been predisposed to panic attacks but never had the right stimulus to cause them before). Anxiety is the opposite of happiness! Pot will make you feel worse. So go with the traditional Jewish ways to feel good -- prayer, hitbodedut, fasting, a little wine, friends, family, etc. These are the true ways to happiness, even in the short term.

(11)
Tammy,
December 28, 2011 8:44 PM

Getting High

I used to smoke pot when I was a teenager way back in the dinosaur age. I can testify first hand that although it made me feel good, I had no ambition to do anything else. I am part of the statistics and have known many other people who fall into them as well. If you aren't or weren't part of the statistics then thank G-d and be very happy. Pot also is a lead in drug to making a person feel curious about trying others types of drugs as well. This is not just hearsay it is real. Take it from some one who has been there and done that. You are better off not even lifting that first joint to you lips.

(10)
derek,
December 28, 2011 6:40 PM

pot and untruths

wow
can you give me ANY proof of your claim on how its grown with bad things in it ..
You state poisonious and dangerous compounds ..SHOW ME PROOF ..I have heard what i call nonsense in dealing with what this herb is about ..But as a therapist who offers hope to people STOP the misconceptions ..ONLY true facts ..WHY is this herb number one ...Not saying a teen should But they do..
LOok at the positives of this herb ..and there are so many
Drinking milk leads to death ...PRove me rong

Anonymous,
December 30, 2011 3:38 AM

it's true that you NEVER know what is in a non regulated drug

A friend of mine has some drug related issues and she also is a tobacco smoker. Someone from the rehab place she was going to offered her a cigerette, but it turns out that it drugs in it, which the guy knew about but she didn't. When someone is handing you something that can effect your body, you need to be extra careful to know who it is coming from AND the drug's source. Since MJ isn't regulated, the dossages in one puff can be very different from one cigerrette of it to another. Also, smoking MJ is more dangerous to one's lungs than cigerrettes-at least by some opinions...some info below.
http://norml.org/library/health-reports/item/norml-s-marijuana-health-mythology

(9)
John,
December 28, 2011 5:43 PM

I Did It

Im 54 years old now. I smoked pot and did other drugs all thru High School. That was the 70s, different times. I did enjoy it and had fun partying. BUT it did nothing for me. I could have had fun and enjoyed life doing other things. Things less harmful. I went into the Military after H.S. and THAt was a life changing Good experience. NOW those people that i did drugs with and they still do drugs, their lives are totally messed up!! Even though those were fun times, I wouldnt do it again. IF I knew then what i know now. Its just not worth it. Enjoy life in other, better ways!!

(8)
Moshe,
December 28, 2011 4:24 PM

Solid article for mature thinkers

This is a great approach for mature and objective thinkers.
Thanks!

(7)
Wassim,
December 28, 2011 6:27 AM

Teens - do you want to lose 10 years (at least) from your life?

In Quantum Physics you can't observe something without altering it. I used this analogy to explain to a young friend of mine that you can't learn some lessons without suffering their effects, and then I advised him to try to learn from other people's mistakes if he can. Loved ones might forgive, and people might forget, but Life doesn't do either. You only have one chance to get it right. No reincarnation here. For the record, I lost more than 10 years, but I'm still learning the lesson! Please learn from my mistake, and listen to your parents.

(6)
Anonymous,
December 28, 2011 5:52 AM

Quite honestly, tobacco should be illegal! The health hazards of tobacco use to the user and to those exposed to its smoke are very real. The only reason tobacco is still legal is because of the tobacco lobby! Hundreds of thousands of dollars (at least) going into the pocket of your local friendly Congressperson to make sure it stays that way.
A. Woolf: Releasing endorphins which allows a person to relax is in a completely different league than smoking pot. Is a person's judgement impaired after a 5 mile run, a good piece of chocolate cake, or in the midst of some great tunes? Legal or not, using a drug that allows you to "escape from reality" by losing your grasp on reality doesn't make a lot of sense.

Wassim,
December 28, 2011 9:16 AM

The article is targetted at teens - the reality is infinitely more complex

1. "Legal or not" is not how you decide whether something is good or worthwhile or not. The law is flawed and wrong in many places. It needs to be continually refined to suit the society it is interested in regulating.
2. Tobacco *manufacture* should be illegal, not smoking it. Any attempt at reducing smoking rates without criminalising the manufacture of this substance is hypocritical at best. Smokers are not dumb people, they can see straight through disingenuous government policies (they specialise in conspiracy theories no less :-).
3. A government that does not criminalise tobacco has no credibility on "health" PERIOD.
4. A medical fraternity that prescribes anti-depressants to a 13yo boy who got dumped by his girlfriend (true story - from here in Australia) does not have any credibility on "mental health" issues. PERIOD.
5. It does "make sense" that when some people feel life isn't going their way and they feel "let down" by life in general, it does make sense to get drunk and laugh or cry rather than persevere in a battle they don't see themselves as having a fair chance to achieve their desired outcomes. Having said that, they feel this way because they don't believe in their ability to change the course they're on. Reigniting this belief is part of the key to rehabilitation. Dismissing their genuine desire to "escape" is not helping anyone.
6. Why? Why do they want to escape? which part of life do they need a little help in? with considerable love and support, you can rescue your troubled child from the crevasses of life.
7. Too much time between childhood and adulthood creates a "gap" period where anything goes and that's when the trouble begins. I always say, boys were meant to grow up into men and girls were meant to grow up into women. Those that take too long are losing something along the way. They think they are "having fun", but in reality they've let the devil into their life and brought out the spare matress as well.

(5)
Yaakov,
December 27, 2011 5:28 PM

When I saw the heading for this article, I thought, this could be great to show teenagers. Sadly, after reading it I realized that it wouldn't do. Try to tell a teenager that its more fun being in "real time" than being hi and he/she will look at you like you fell off the planet. We need something that will talk to the teenager of today. The teenager that has the entire world at their fingertips. Maybe then we'll get through to them.

Anonymous,
December 28, 2011 9:16 PM

I agree with Yaakov. If we want to get through to today's teens we need to get down on their level somewhat or at least sound like we are trying or remember what it was like when we were younger. Talking to kids about not smoking pot might be better coming from someone who has been there once.

Zach,
December 28, 2011 9:57 PM

Teach the whole Truth

I think teaching kids the whole Truth would be a great idea. Teach there are good sides and bad sides to marijuana. Teach them both sides completely. Parents be honest about your experiences with it. If you used it and suffered from it, then tell your kids you did and it was horrible. But don't lie,, the kids will find out and then they will have a hard time trusting you for the Truth it you lie. And also how doing everything in moderation is alot easier to say then it is to do! Teach the whole Truth! Love wisely.

(4)
BurtB,
December 27, 2011 2:52 AM

Where do you draw the line

John is wrong. There is also the question of where does society draw the line. There are drugs that should be illegal. Preventing the damage from non prosecuted use of Crystal Meth or Heroin would be bigger problems for society than prohibiting the use.
How would the government insure the "purity" of ICE or Crack? What taxes would be needed to repair the damage to lives of people who experimented with them. I can see the public service announcement now "Please use Crystal Meth responsibly".

(3)
Abram,
December 27, 2011 12:04 AM

ignoring facts and staying closeminded

there is so many things wrong with this article I wouldn't even know where to start. First, I do NOT partake in marijuana normally even though I have countless times but UNMOTIVATED and ADDICTIVE? This is along the lines of what the US government insists on drilling into people who are willing to believe that they have your wellbeing as their top priority.
there's a big difference between getting high throughout the whole day and using it for relaxation or artistic purposes...it's quiet ironic because we condone drinking and even to excess but somehow this NATURAL plant with NATURAL canabinoid receptors in your brain is somehow "bad" without even taking MOMENT to look at the FACTS.

Todd,
December 27, 2011 5:10 PM

the article didnt say pot was addictive

(2)
A. Woolf,
December 26, 2011 3:32 PM

Yes drugs alter your perception and let you "escape from reality", but exercise, food, music all release endorphins if you're stressed. If marijuana becomes legal (or if your visiting some place that it IS legal like Amsterdam), then how is it any different than doing another activity that relaxes you?

(1)
John Smith,
December 26, 2011 1:58 AM

The only question is whether the US government are going to admit defeat and treat cannabis in the same way they do alcohol and tobacco, which means taking marijuana out of the hands of criminals.

I’m wondering what happened to the House of David. After the end of the Kingdom of Judah was there any memory what happened to King David’s descendants? Is there any family today which can trace its lineage to David – and whom the Messiah might descend from?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Thank you for your good question. There is no question that King David’s descendants are alive today. God promised David through Nathan the Prophet that the monarchy would never depart from his family (II Samuel 7:16). The prophets likewise foretell the ultimate coming of the Messiah, descendant of David, the “branch which will extend from the trunk of Jesse,” who will restore the Davidic dynasty and Israel’s sovereignty (Isaiah 11:1, see also Jeremiah 33:15, Ezekiel 37:25).

King David’s initial dynasty came to an end with the destruction of the First Temple and the Babylonian Exile. In an earlier expulsion King Jehoiachin was exiled by Nebuchadnezzar, together with his family and several thousand of the Torah scholars and higher classes (II Kings 24:14-16). Eleven years later the Temple was destroyed. The final king of Judah, Jehoiachin’s uncle Zedekiah, was too exiled to Babylonia. He was blinded and his children were executed (II Kings 25:7).

However, Jehoiachin and his descendants did survive in exile. Babylonian cuneiform records actually attest to Jehoiachin and his family receiving food rations from the government. I Chronicles 3:17:24 likewise lists several generations of his descendants (either 9 or 15 generations, depending on the precise interpretation of the verses), which would have extended well into the Second Temple era. (One was the notable Zerubbabel, grandson of Jehoiachin, who was one of the leaders of the return to Zion and the construction the Second Temple.)

In Babylonia, the leader of the Jewish community was known as the Reish Galuta (Aramaic for “head of the exile,” called the Exilarch in English). This was a hereditary position recognized by the Babylonian government. Its bearer was generally quite wealthy and powerful, well-connected to the government and wielding much authority over Babylonian Jewry.

According to Jewish tradition, the Exilarch was a direct descendant of Jehoiachin. The Talmud (Sanhedrin 5a) understands Genesis 49:10 – Jacob’s blessing to Judah that “the staff would not be removed from Judah” – as a reference to the Exilarchs in Babylonia, “who would chastise Israel with the staff,” i.e., who exercised temporal authority over the Jewish community. It stands to reason that these descendants of Judah were descendants of David’s house, who would have naturally been the leaders of the Babylonian community, in fulfillment of God’s promise to David that authority would always rest in his descendants.

There is also a chronological work, Seder Olam Zutta (an anonymous text from the early Middle Ages), which lists 39 generations of Exilarchs beginning with Jehoiachin. One of the commentators to Chronicles, the Vilna Gaon, states that the first one was Elionai of I Chronicles 3:23.

The position of Exilarch lasted for many centuries. The Reish Galuta is mentioned quite often in the Talmud. As can be expected, some were quite learned themselves, some deferred to the rabbis for religious matters, while some, especially in the later years, fought them and their authority tooth and nail.

Exilarchs existed well into the Middle Ages, throughout the period of the early medieval scholars known as the Gaonim. The last ones known to history was Hezekiah, who was killed in 1040 by the Babylonian authorities, although he was believed to have had sons who escaped to Iberia. There are likewise later historical references to descendants of the Exilarchs, especially in northern Spain (Catelonia) and southern France (Provence).

Beyond that, there is no concrete evidence as to the whereabouts of King David’s descendants. Supposedly, the great French medieval sage Rashi (R. Shlomo Yitzchaki) traced his lineage to King David, although on a maternal line. (In addition, Rashi himself had only daughters.) The same is said of Rabbi Yehuda Loewe of Prague (the Maharal). Since Ashkenazi Jews are so interrelated, this is a tradition, however dubious today, shared by many Ashkenazi Jews.

In any event, we do not need be concerned today how the Messiah son of David will be identified. He will be a prophet, second only to Moses. God Himself will select him and appoint him to his task. And he himself, with his Divine inspiration, will resolve all other matters of Jewish lineage (Maimonides Hilchot Melachim 12:3).

Yahrtzeit of Kalonymus Z. Wissotzky, a famous Russian Jewish philanthropist who died in 1904. Wissotzky once owned the tea concession for the Czar's entire military operation. Since the Czar's soldiers numbered in the millions and tea drinking was a daily Russian custom, this concession made Wissotzky very rich. One day, Wissotzky was approached by the World Zionist Organization to begin a tea business in Israel. He laughed at this preposterous idea: the market was small, the Turkish bureaucracy was strict, and tea leaves from India were too costly to import. Jewish leaders persisted, and Wissotzky started a small tea company in Israel. After his death, the tea company passed to his heirs. Then in 1917, the communists swept to power in Russia, seizing all of the Wissotzky company's assets. The only business left in their possession was the small tea company in Israel. The family fled Russia, built the Israeli business, and today Wissotzky is a leading brand of tea in Israel, with exports to countries worldwide -- including Russia.

Building by youth may be destructive, while when elders dismantle, it is constructive (Nedarim 40a).

It seems paradoxical, but it is true. We make the most important decisions of our lives when we are young and inexperienced, and our maximum wisdom comes at an age when our lives are essentially behind us, and no decisions of great moment remain to be made.

While the solution to this mystery eludes us, the facts are evident, and we would be wise to adapt to them. When we are young and inexperienced, we can ask our elders for their opinion and then benefit from their wisdom. When their advice does not coincide with what we think is best, we would do ourselves a great service if we deferred to their counsel.

It may not be popular to champion this concept. Although we have emerged from the era of the `60s, when accepting the opinion of anyone over thirty was anathema, the attitude of dismissing older people as antiquated and obsolete has-beens who lack the omniscience of computerized intelligence still lingers on.

Those who refuse to learn from the mistakes of the past are doomed to repeat them. We would do well to swallow our youthful pride and benefit from the teachings of the school of experience.

Today I shall...

seek advice from my elders and give more serious consideration to deferring to their advice when it conflicts with my desires.

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