By now, surely everyone's familiar
with the unity candle, but did you know there are other
unification ceremonies to choose from when planning your
wedding?

Although the unity candle seems to
have been with us forever, in reality it's only about ten
years old. During those years, more
"two-become-one" motifs have arrived to round
out the theme.

Unification ceremonies are not only
a symbol of togetherness, they're also flexible elements
of a wedding. These ceremonies can be "opened
up" to include important family members, such as the
bridal couple's parents. Children from previous marriages
can play a part, as can the entire congregation in a
smaller wedding. Candle and rose ceremonies are common
choices for adapting in this way.

Unification ceremonies can also be
"stacked." It's not unusual to find a wedding
that includes a hand and water ceremony, for example, or
a wine and rose ceremony. Some couples play music during
these ceremonies and others don't.

The timing of unification
ceremonies varies by wedding, but they most often take
place directly before or after the exchange of vows.
These ceremonies may be especially important in
non-religious weddings, which may end too quickly
otherwise!

Let's look at some alternatives to the Unity Candle ceremony:

Rose Ceremony

The rose ceremony is a flexible,
informal ceremony especially suited to an interfaith or
non-religious wedding, not to mention a garden wedding!
In the rose ceremony, bride and groom exchange a single
rose as their first married gift to each other. They are
asked to recall this symbol of their love during the more
trying seasons of marriage.

Hand Ceremony

In the hand ceremony, the bride
takes the groom's hands in hers, palms up. The officiant
invites her to view his hands as a gift, and says:
"These are the hands that will work along side
yours, as together you build your future, as together you
laugh and cry, and together you share your innermost
secrets and dreams."

The groom then takes the bride's
hands, palm side up. The officiant says, "They are
the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you
through the years, for a lifetime of happiness, as she
promises her love and commitment to you all the days of
her life."

Knot Ceremony

In the knot ceremony, the mothers
of the bridal couple are given a cord, which the
officiant later asks them to give to the bridal couple.
The couple ties a lover's knot, which they may save to
look back on later.

Sand, Water and Wine Ceremonies

These are all mixing ceremonies
suited to a Unitarian or interfaith wedding. The sand
ceremony is said to arise from Apache customs, and is
popular in beach weddings. In each case, the bride and
groom pour sand or liquid from two separate vials into
one. In the wine ceremony, they drink the mixed wine.

A nice touch is to have the bride
pour white wine while the groom pours red. You can then
serve rosť at the reception to remind everyone of the
ceremony.

The Salt Covenant

The salt covenant is an ancient
tradition, well-described in the Bible, and appearing
regularly in Indian-national and Jewish weddings. Like
the Jewish Huppah, the salt covenant (a mixing ceremony
with ancient connotations of loyalty, protection and
hospitality) is beginning to show up in non-Jewish
weddings as well.

The Foot-Washing Ceremony

The foot washing ceremony (not to
be confused with the Scottish bridal foot-washing
ceremony, a raucous pre-wedding event) is a fascinating,
solemn custom emphasizing the role of dual servitude in a
marriage.

This short article hasn't covered
all the unification ceremonies: there are bread-sharing
ceremonies, circling ceremonies, broom jumping
ceremonies, and probably more ceremonies that are being
invented right now.

However, if you feel a unification
ceremony might make your wedding more meaningful and
personal, consider these alternatives. Don't forget that
you can use more than one!

CREDITS

Blake Kritzberg is the proprietor of "Just Wedding Favors."
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