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Hit and Run: LOUD NOISES!

THOOOOOOOOME! Pictured here smooching his wife Andrea (note: not our Andrea), Ol’ Hambone Thome hit No. 500 yesterday, and did it in grand fashion: a two-run walkoff jack, and on Jim Thome bobblehead day. The fellow who caught the milestone ball gave it right back to Jim, and Thome announced after the game that he and his father would deliver it to Cooperstown together.

Excuse me, but it’s gotten dusty in my office all of a sudden. [Sniffle.]

BUZZZZZZZZZ! Pitt point guard Levance Fields acquainted himself with the business end of a cop’s taser outside a Pittsburgh night club on Saturday night. You can make your own buzzer-beater joke.

Look at Pat Burrell’s reaction. What a ham.

[pin drop] That’s the sound you could’ve heard in Shea Stadium when Greg Dobbs’ salami (naughty!) capped the Phillies’ sweep of the Mets. For those of you keeping score at home, that’s eight straight Phillies victories over the Mets. Catcher Paul Lo Duca said after the last Phillies sweep, “They’re dancing around the field now; We’ll see what happens when the time comes.” Sit on a tack, Lo Douchebag! (D-Wright can sit on my lap, though.)

Squee, cute boys talk about us! The Starter Wife’s Rosh Hashanah post made it back to the boys of the Israeli Baseball and one of their players, Fabian Armenta, blogged about it. We heart you, Fabian, but before you start making plans to bring us home to your mother, we want you to know that only one of us is none of us are Jewish.

Joe Sports Fan has a funny post on how to turn the rest of the Sunday paper into the sports page. Trust me, it’s funnier than I’m making it sound.