Wednesday, July 13, 2011

CURES FOR HICCUPS.

I have a cure for hiccups. It works every time. I’ve encountered people who look a bit askance at my simple cure, until they try it. You lie down on a bench or bed on your back with your head hanging over the edge, practically upside down, and you take a swallow of water in that position. Works every time. Someone long ago passed this cure on to me and it seems quite sane. However, I found out that hiccup cures are really quite varied and entertaining, so let me pass on a few I’ve heard about that are “sure cures” in other families.

1.-Using both hands, stick your fingers in your ears. Take a deep breath. Have someone hold your nose while he or she gives you a drink of water. Sort of the same principle as the one we use in our family.
2.-Cut three holes the size of half-dollars in a paper bag. Put the bag over your head, and breathe deeply 20 times. Hiccups disappear. Hmmm! Sane. I’ll try and remember to give that one a go. Why the three holes in the bag? And, exactly 20 times?
3.- Put a teaspoon full of sugar on your tongue and hold it until the sugar melts. When the sugar is gone, so are the hiccups. Sounds practical. Let me know if it works.
4. If you can stand on your head, do it. If not, put your head between your knees. Close your eyes as tight as you can, take a deep breath and recite “Mary Had A Little Lamb” or “Little Bo Peep.” This is a real chatty cure. I’ve heard just holding your breath works for some.
5. Make a fist and bite the knuckle of your little finger. Take a deep breath, and hurry up and bite the next, then the next, then the next and then the thumb. By the time you bite all your knuckles twice, you are cured. Realize, I can’t vouch for any of these cures. But, it you are desperate, you’ll try almost anything, right?
6.-Said to be 100% effective. Take a tablespoon of peanut butter and keep it in your mouth, making no attempt to eat or swallow it. As the peanut butter disappears, so will the hiccups. Kind of like that sugar cure, but where does the peanut butter go?
7.-Fill a clean glass with water and cover it with a handkerchief. Drink the water through the hankie. No sipping. No holding of the breath. The hiccups disappear like magic.
8.-This is goofy but it works. Open your eyes as wide as you can. Stick out your tongue-all the way. Reach for the ceiling-really reach. Try to sing “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Of course, you can’t do it with your tongue sticking out, but if you make the sounds, that is good enough. By the time you get to “the rockets red glare.” the hiccups will be gone.
I’d like to see a bunch of people in a room with hiccups, as an experiment, each trying a different cure, to see which one works best. The laughter alone would vanish the hiccups.
If you’re not into gimmicky cures, grab a gin and tonic, go outside and smell the flowers. Hey, whatever works.