Tristan Barnett, a ‘gaming expert’ at Australia’s Victoria University, thinks he has the solutions for problem gamblers who can’t leave those video poker ‘pokie’ machines alone. While Barnett does have some practical suggestions, such as making it mandatory for the machines to display the actual odds of winning and losing, his other ideas are a bit, er, hokey pokie.

For instance, he thinks vendors should be required to stock their pokie parlors with 1¢ machines. This way, a player could sit at the machine for a whole hour and lose a maximum of $1.08. Of course, given that this is a giant piece of electrical gear with all manner of lights and circuitry, it’s questionable as to whether that $1.08 would actually match what the vendor paid out to power the bloody thing. Still, maybe he could make that back by getting a liquor license and pushing giant cans of Fosters on his customers. There, problem solved. Thanks, Doc!

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