Well, I've probably missed exactly what your dear son did, but, assuming it wasn't drug or violence related, maybe someone could accompany him to school. Not you -- that'd be way too off the wall for any young person to take -- but maybe some beautiful, responsible young adult you know -- preferably a gorgeous type body guard! What a difficult time for him and you and those around you. Speaking as a professional educator, he needs to be in the "system" some way -- even if homeschooled. I don't see the online education as working well. Lots of kids around here doing that and just sort of dropping out of everything and playing video games.

Homeschool is great -- I did it with three of my four -- but it takes a huge amount of commitment and time on the part of the educator AND the student.

Pam, no drugs or violence involved (heaven thanks for that at least); he has ADHD and ODD (Oppositional defiant disorder). I've been asking for help for years now, saying to his psychiatrist (whom he sees once a year and limits his actions mostly to saying "oh well, he's in puberty" and prescribing Ritalin) that maybe he would benefit from behavioral therapy (response from psychiatrist: "oh, but if he doesn't want to do that, it's not going to work you know" IN FRONT OF DS1! Talking about sabotaging a parent???). Anyway we ended up on waiting lists and tomorrow I finally have an appointment with a therapist for him.

Homeschooling in Belgium is near to impossible. Maybe in lower grades it is doable, but not at his age. Homeschooling my son would be suicide (for ME) anyway. We would be in fights every day, because he's just...well...defiant and oppositional *sigh*.

He is studying (well, not really, you know what I mean ) graphics and printing, and he says he likes it (well, not the studying part, but the printing part). There is a school nearby that has a similar curriculum (printing), less theoretic and more practice. But he can't go there now, because it's not the same level as he's doing now (it's a level lower). So for the time being he needs to stay in the same level/same curriculum.

Oh, bummer. That is hard. But it seems to come down to the stimulation from the school. If the teachers don't stimulate the kids.... That's always been my take. ex. I remember a wonderful young man in one of my advanced Spanish classes. He was full of humor, polite, intelligent -- well, pretty much the ideal student (he did go on Latin time so he was often a bit late). Anyway, I guess the teacher next door saw me talking to him outside my door and later came to me and said something like -- "Isn't he just the most awful student you ever had. He is so rude and disruptive, etc. etc." It was bizarre. Anyway, I asked the student something light about his "health" class. Come to find out, any time a student did anything he didn't approve of, he made them stand in the hallway with a foot in each square (linoleum) for a period of time. He put the students down, told them they were stupid, etc. So, my whole take on the labels is that if you treat people right, not that they don't have those issues, but that they are really workable. I had a lovely lady in one of my classes who was one of the most hyperactive kids I ever had. She could not sit still and, of course, that could be distracting. So, I said, "Okay, how about I give you a desk in the back and then you can squirm and sit on top of your desk." She loved the idea and sat on top of her desk and was still and comfortable and participated hugely and was brilliant. An administrator came into observe the class once and asked me about it. I said, "Oh, she's more comfortable that way and doesn't disrupt anyone. She needs a bit of moving space." He could see that was obviously true. She, BTW, is a famous environmentalist now and works on big ships investigating things! Wonder what's going on teacher-wise where your DS is having trouble!

You sound like a lovely teacher....no chance of you moving to Belgium and being my son's teacher?

I'm thinking...one of the schools on the "possible schools" list is doable in distance if he goes to live with my sister, who lives in Brussels. Maybe that would be good for all of us. My sis lives alone, DS1 is her godchild and they have a special bond. She would be able to give him more attention than I do (because he's not alone here). DS2 and DS3 would have quite days without their brother (he gives them a hard time too sometimes). DH and me could relax a bit more on weekdays and be able to handle him better on weekends. He adores is aunt, so I think he would be happy to do that...looks like a win-win for the whole family, huh? I know my sis will agree, but don't know DH's thoughts about it, will talk tonight. And this is of course if this school is willing to take him...

I'd love to teach him. Logistically a wee bit hard though:-) Yep, give me teenagers to teach at any and all times. It's those little five year olds in class that would probably do me in:-)

That might work. It'd certainly give him a fresh start at school, and it's not like it's permanent! Summer isn't that far away. It's hard once you get a bad rep to overcome it. It might be just the thing -- especially with just a few gentle guidelines! Keep us posted. Bet he's a neat kid.

Congratulations on your success! It looks wonderful. I'm glad it's not under my nose though. Could be hard to turn down.

I will buy that cookbook. We have a double-birthday/Mother's Day celebration coming up. Vegans, primals, allergic to dairy... I'm tearing my hair out over the cake... I have a vegandairy-free recipe, but we poor primals are going to be deprived. Perhaps I'll make primal biscotti...

And can I possibly make up that cake without snitching any batter? Stay tuned.

Well, he's not a bad kid, he just has an attitute problem sometimes. Talked to DH about it and he wants to consider it. My sister would be happy to keep him with her. Let's see what's the outcome tomorrow.

No snacks, didn't feel hungry. There is still room for something, but I'm too tired to eat I think.

Hey...too tired to eat???? IN pre-primal days "tired" = "snack all day on high-carb-high-sugary things". In "old" days the kind of stress I have over my son would equal the same thing. I would have stuffed my face with candy bars, chocolate, cookies, pastries,....those things I baked yesterday would have been all eaten! My DS3 would say: "who are you and what have you done to my mom!"

Wow, school in Belgium seems so complicated! Here, all the schools follow the same, if not similar, curriculum. the different specialized studies come in college. I hope the school will take him so you guys can get his education in. Best of luck.

Congratulations Candy! Wonderful news about your accomplishment as a baker! I am so sorry about the hassles with DS1! I really hope you can find a solution to the dilemma and that he can find a niche where he is motivated to try and deal with his attitude. Let us know what happens there! And WELL DONE on not eating all the goodies and not doing the emotional eating as a result of being tired and stressed! Go girl! I am proud of you

@Jenn it's a technical school, that's why it's different.
Talked to my sister and DH, if the school near to my sisters house accept him he'll go stay with my sis for a few weeks. I called the school, I have to call back Monday at 4 o'clock to see if they can accept him (they need to discuss/decide this in a meeting with the school board).

The meeting with the therapist was really good, she's convinced there's an emotional background to his behavior (I agree), but that it will be hard for him (being a boy and adolescent) to talk about emotions; so she's going to focus on behavioral therapy to start with, and when they 'connect' she will try to move on to the emotional plan. I was happy to be able to talk about all the sh*t that's been going on, it took some pressure off. Had a talk with DS1 when I got home, no yelling, no being angry, just calm. Told him I love him but he's giving us (and himself) a hard time. Asked him to try and make the best of the coming weeks and try his best to get at least some good results. It's still a very stressful situation and it will still be until we find a new school, but I decided it's no use to be angry all the time. It consumes so much energy and doesn't solve anything anyway. The past is past, there's no way to fix it....we can only make the best of the situation and try to do our best for the future.

The red velvet cake I wanted to bake for the competition turned into a volcano in my oven, I really don't know how this happened! First time I made this recipe so I suppose something is seriously wrong with it . I had to start all over and just didn't have the energy yesterday evening. I had a meeting with a therapist this morning and didn't come home till lunchtime. Had to decide if baking cake and being super stressed the rest of the day, or make dinner (wouldn't have time left for both!). Decided to ditch the cake/competition and make a nice beef stew for dinner (with fries for my guys). My sons luckily understood, DS3 said "hey mom, that will be a relief for the other moms, now at least they have a chance of winning ". Did I ever say how much I love this little guy ?

DS1 is peeling potatoes for the fries as I'm typing this! I'm going to ask him to help out some more in the house, hoping it will bring us a little closer again.