"The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them. . . . If I carry only grief, I'll bend toward cynicism and despair. If I have only gratitude, I'll become saccharine and won't develop much compassion for other people's suffering. Grief keeps the heart fluid and soft, which helps make compassion possible.

And we must have compassion for ourselves, too. When I lead workshops on self-compassion, I begin by saying,'This is a weekend in non-self-improvement.' We are so driven to make ourselves "better" all the time, as if the better we became, the more people would like us. We are mercilessly hard on ourselves for our losses, our defeats, our wounds, our failures, the parts of us that don't measure up."

Today, know that Love has its own structure. We don't invent, create, impose, or enforce structure. We discern structure, Love's rhythms and forms. Today, acknowledge Love's structure shaping the rhythm and form of your day. Feel Love structure shaping your relationship to time, work, other people, your ambitions, and the tasks of daily living. Rest and trust in Love's structure.

"In this culture we display a compulsive avoidance of difficult matters and an obsession with distraction. Because we cannot acknowledge our grief, we're forced to stay on the surface of life. Poet Kahil Gibran said, 'The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.' We experience little genuine joy because we avoid the depths. . . .

We praise success and despise failure. We value strength and devalue weakness. But then every time we encounter defeat, inadequacy, or loss, we're at war with ourselves, and that's a bitter fight. . . .

​Think about how much energy we expend trying to deny and avoid those parts of ourselves. What if all that energy were available to us again? We would laugh more. We'd know more joy. Life is asking us to meet it on its terms, not ours. We try to control every minute detail, but life is too rambunctious, too wild. We simply can't avoid losses, wounds, and failures that come into our lives. What we can do is bring compassion to what arrives at our door and meet it with kindness and affection."

Today, feel the restorative power of Love, renewing your sense of peace, calm, health, order, joy, clarity, hopefulness, and energy. This does not require that you work harder, but that you still and feel Love's power and embrace.

Know that you move in Love's kingdom. The kingdom is inside you, governing your interior world. The kingdom expands into your past. It extends into your future. It embraces your communities, fills the homes of those you love, and encompasses the whole world. Today, acknowledge the power and presence of Love's kingdom and governance.

"Feeling guilty and bad about ourselves for something we've done might temporarily restrain us from doing harm, but ultimately blaming and hating ourselves only leads to further harmful actions. We can't punish ourselves into being a good person. Only by holding ourselves with the compassion of forgiveness do we experience and respond to our circumstances with wisdom and care."

Today, actively forgive yourself. When regrets or self-judgments arise, hold them with tenderness and care. Notice and let go of self-punishing actions.

Today, focus on knowing and feeling Love's love for you and others. When you feel personal responsibility for other's wellness, success, or happiness, turn that responsibility over to Love. Where you have strong opinions about people or institutions, turn those opinions over to Love. Today, let Love do Love's work. Today, focus only on what has been entrusted to you.

We think we are longing for more money; more opportunity; a greater sense of purpose; a particular career, place, relationship, or model of family. We think we are longing tto be different or to have others be different. What we are really longing for is to feel at one with Love, to feel that depth of worthiness, safety, and joy. So start there. Make it your first step to pause and let Love love you. Now.