Discussions By Condition: Sexual conditions

I need some advice

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years. We started having sex within the first year of our relationship and its was really fun and normal. In our second year, he had a disappointment in that his University results weren't what he expected and he really threw himself into studying. From almost that point onward, he stopped ejaculating when we had sex and slowly started to lose his want to have sex. its been almost two years not and he hasn't been able to ejaculate when we have sex or otherwise. He says he can ejaculate when he masturbates but I think he's also lost the want to masturbate more or less.

I've read a lot about stress being a cause but given that its been two years I don't know how that still affects him. He's in a good job now. I've tried to leave of pressuring him but I'm worried and I feel like i'm a failure when he doesn't reach climax when we have sex.

Also one last thing, apparently since of late, when he reaches climax instead of ejaculating he urinates a little bit. I know this can't be normal.

4 Replies:

Hi all, My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years. We started having sex within the first year of our relationship and its was really fun and normal. In our second year, he had a disappointment in that his University results weren't what he expected and he really threw himself into studying. From almost that point onward, he stopped ejaculating when we had sex and slowly started to lose his want to have sex. its been almost two years not and he hasn't been able to ejaculate when we have sex or otherwise. He says he can ejaculate when he masturbates but I think he's also lost the want to masturbate more or less. I've read a lot about stress being a cause but given that its been two years I don't know how that still affects him. He's in a good job now. I've tried to leave of pressuring him but I'm worried and I feel like i'm a failure when he doesn't reach climax when we have sex. Also one last thing, apparently since of late, when he reaches climax instead of ejaculating he urinates a little bit. I know this can't be normal. Can anyone advise?Hi Help please!,Stress can definitely be a factor in ejaculatory problems, particularly regarding inhibited ejaculation. How old is your boyfriend?Does your boyfriend take any daily medications for a mood disorder? Some of these medications can cause problems with ejaculation. Dose he have any current medical conditions?You mentioned that he sometimes urinates a little during orgasm. Do you know if he also has orgasms achieved through either intercourse or masturbation (or both) that produce no ejaculation at all?Best regards,John

Hi Help please!,Stress can definitely be a factor in ejaculatory problems, particularly regarding inhibited ejaculation. How old is your boyfriend?Does your boyfriend take any daily medications for a mood disorder? Some of these medications can cause problems with ejaculation. Dose he have any current medical conditions?You mentioned that he sometimes urinates a little during orgasm. Do you know if he also has orgasms achieved through either intercourse or masturbation (or both) that produce no ejaculation at all?Best regards,JohnThank you for replying John and MonsterloveJohn, these are the answers to the questions you asked above:1. He's not on any mood disorder medication but tends is by nature a person who doesnt confide much or vent his stress much. He's a bubbly always fun type who people tend to assume never has a bad mood or gets upset. 2. He was recently diagnosed as having a weak heart. But I'm not too sure of the details as he's not on a lot of medication as far as I know and it doesn't stop him having any physical exercise (goes to the gym frequently)3. As far as I know, during intercourse he feels unable to reach orgasm even if he's 'right there' to put it simplistically. He did tell me the urine thing happened a few times when he masturbates. I think he used to be able to ejaculate when he masturbated but I don't think he masturbates very often any longer. I'm sorry I can't offer you conclusive answers, I've tried not to ask too many questions in order to stress him less.

Thank you for replying John and MonsterloveJohn, these are the answers to the questions you asked above:1. He's not on any mood disorder medication but tends is by nature a person who doesnt confide much or vent his stress much. He's a bubbly always fun type who people tend to assume never has a bad mood or gets upset.H again Help please!,Would you say that he's the type to let things bottle up inside while exhibiting a cheery, "bubbly" type of demeanor?2. He was recently diagnosed as having a weak heart. But I'm not too sure of the details as he's not on a lot of medication as far as I know and it doesn't stop him having any physical exercise (goes to the gym frequently).Exactly who diagnosed him "as having a weak heart", Help please!? Also...is there any significance to his being on "not on a lot of medication as far as I know"? Do you know if he's taking ANY cardiac/blood pressure medications? (Often sexual side effects appear here, too.)3. As far as I know, during intercourse he feels unable to reach orgasm even if he's 'right there' to put it simplistically. He did tell me the urine thing happened a few times when he masturbates. I think he used to be able to ejaculate when he masturbated but I don't think he masturbates very often any longer.So...not to be overly graphic (but I certainly apologize as there's really not any less-graphic way to ask)...your BF has no problems with foreplay, penetration, or the actual mechanics (wow, how sterile is this getting?) of intercourse? Is he able to maintain an erection long enough for YOU to reach orgasm? Do you have any idea if he ever has a "productive" orgasm through intercourse? Do you know if he ever "feels" that he has experienced an orgasm...that he would consider a "dry" one? I'm sorry I can't offer you conclusive answers, I've tried not to ask too many questions in order to stress him less.Not a problem, Help please! Your BF sounds like many of today's young men (how old is he?) in regard to the pure physical act of completing sexual intercouse itself. Many guys have difficulty not necessarily in achieving an erection but maintaining one long enough for their partner to reach a climax. This certainly doesn't mean that he's in the spotlight. AND that doesn't necessarily mean that there's no "help" available. As embarassing as it can be, in today's world a guy is pretty "unwise" if he doesn't seek help in the sexual arena if need be.Sometimes guys have difficulty performing in a "new" environment, especially if the guy is of American descent and is suddenly thrust into a foreign country area, knows a precious few people...and trusts even fewer.Your BF will, HOPEFULLY, eat less "junk food" now than before. Certainly nutrition can become a major aspect in overall sexual health and functioning...but there aren't (to the best of my knowledge) a whole lot of guys who have sexual performance difficulty after ingestion of just one Twinkie!There may be some specific "things" that you can do that may help. We'll see after sorting out the answers to the questions here.Keep the faith, Help please!. Some things are a "work in progress." Keep us in the loop re: how things are going.Best to you both,John<