International Women's Day.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

We are well past the time when Abigail Adams had to write
her husband—then president of the United States—reminding him to “remember the
ladies and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors. Do not
put much unlimited power into the hands of the husbands. Remember all men would
be tyrants if they could…”

Things have remarkably improved since then, and more women
have paved the way for the rest of us coming along. In the United States for
instance, there have been several amendments to the constitution in favor of
women. There has been the Title IX Amendment, a portion of the United States
Education Amendment, which protects people from discrimination based on sex in
education programs and activities that receive federal financial assistance
equal education for women. There has also been Title VII of the Civil Rights
Act of 1964, which protects individuals against employment discrimination on
the basis of five categories, one of which is sex.

However, we are still very far away from the destination.
Women are definitely still discriminated against, sometimes ostracized, and a
lot of times seen as the less of both sexes. Unfortunately, in many countries,
women are practically enslaved. In some developed countries, equality has been
reduced—yes, reduced—to putting a few women in important positions, and leaving
it at just that. We now have a femaleAttorney General, they say. Or we now have a female Minister of Petroleum.
While that is a welcome development, it does not reduce the impact of denying a
woman a job because of fear that she might someday decide to have children. It
does not reduce the havoc that is wrecked when woman is objectified and made to
believe that besides the extra tissues on her chest—breasts—and her backside,
she really is nothing.

Now, we can debate about the women issues from here till
eternity, but if we do nothing about it, it makes no sense. The most important
fight in this battle is equality; that men and women are equal members of the
society. Period.

On whether or not to be a feminist, here’s my answer: In the
words of the legendary Maya Angelou, “I am a feminist. I have been a female for
a long time now. I’d be stupid not to be on my own side.” I always used to
wonder whether or not I was a feminist because I had seen that concept abused
time and time again. But I have since realized that to say you aren’t a
feminist would be to insult great women like Betty Friedan who fought endlessly
for women. It would be to insult great women like Myra Bradwell, who when she denied
admission to the Illinois state bar because she was a woman—even after passing
the bar exams in flying colors—fought HARD that women be allowed to become
whatever they so desired. I imagine that without Bradwell, many female
attorneys today would have been, well you can guess. It would be insulting more
legendary women like Funmilayo Ransome Kuti, whose courage I personally admire
and marvel at. It would be to undermine our powerful mothers—some of whom had
to raise their children alone, without the support of any man. So, in the words
of another feminist I admire, Chimamanda Adichie, “We should all be feminists.”

Feminism is advocating the rights of women and/or supporting
equality of women. Feminism is NOT hatred of men. Feminism does not in anyway disprove
your desire for a husband or boyfriend. As far as I am concerned, feminism is
the freedom to choose. It is when women are allowed to be whatever they want to
be. It is freewill. Feminism is respecting the woman whose ultimate choice is
to be a homemaker. Feminism is also respecting the other woman whose goal is to
be the next Sheryl Sandberg, or the next Marissa Mayer, or the next Ngozi
Okonji-Iweala. None of those choices trumps the other. As far as it is the
woman’s choice, it is valid.

Therefore, let us accept the brightly burning torches that
these great women have passed onto us and keep passing it on. Let us teach our
daughters that playing victim is for the loser. Deciding to choose victory
irrespective of what the society says of you is indeed the real victory. Let us
teach those coming behind us that they are more than what the see in the
mirror. What they see in the mirror is fabulous; it’s just that what they have
inside—that beautiful mind—is even more amazing.

Here’s to great women; may we know them, may we be them, may
we raise them.

Happy International Women’s day to all the wonderful women
you and I have ever known, and most especially to my wonderful mother. I am,
because you first were.

Love,

I

P.S: This post (or a variant of it) was first published on Bellanaija.