As most of you probably know, Mariah Carey and her billionaire fiancé James Packer broke up like 5 minutes ago, but that didn’t mean Queen M was going to sit around and sulk or do weird Russian television interviews like Lindsay Lohan did when her billionaire fiancé left her. No, Mariah has more class than that.

Instead, she went out and got her 47-year-old ass a hot little 33-year-old back-up dancer to do her bidding and sex her up all in exchange for moderate fame and probably like a lambo, because, unlike Hollywood Hobo Tyga, Mariah can afford a lambo or two.

I used to love the 1972 movie Last Tango in Paris. It was this weirdly hot, kind of love story, but mostly fuck story between a 48-year-old Marlon Brando, and 19-year-old Maria Schneider, and it had sex scenes so intense people have been speculating for years that real sex did tape place during the filming.

While both actors and the director, Bernardo Bertolucci, denied any real sex occurred during filming, a tape from 2013 has just bee released where Bertolucci admits that the infamous butter rape scene in the film was not consensual and Schneider didn’t even know it was going to happen, as it wasn’t in the script.

One of my favourite celerity couples, Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher, welcomed their second child on Wednesday, November 30th. Ashton announced the birth of their son on his website, also revealing his name: Dimitri Portwood Kutcher.

It’s not my favourite celebrity baby name, but given that the newest Kardashian baby’s name is Dream, I’ll let Dimitri slide. And even though Portwood will forever remind me of that trashy bitch, Amber Portwood, from Teen Mom, I’ll let that slide, too, just because I like Mila that much.

It’s been a real rollercoaster of emotions for the Kardashian/Jenner sisters these past few months, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to be getting better anytime soon. Over a year after they broke up because of his cheating and alcohol/drug problem, Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick have (not-surprisingly) gotten back together.

Sadly, sister Kim probably won’t be having as happy a holiday season as Kourtney, because, aside from still-overcoming her own traumas after her Paris robbery, her husband, Kanye, just got released from the hospital after his apparent mental breakdown and isn’t living with her and their two kids.

The annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show happened in Paris this week and it airs this coming Monday, and, honestly, I’m incredibly stoked to watch it. Watching hot skinny bitches in lingerie I can’t afford is legitimately how I like to start my holiday season, as bizarre as that sounds.

Aside from the fact the whole thing is just beautiful women walking around half naked while super talented musicians perform, there are actually some really pop culture relevant reasons to tune in this year specifically!

I was going to start this blog with something like ‘Between deleting his Instagram, constantly hating on his fans, his weird concert outbursts, and now punching a fan, is Justin Bieber having some kind of breakdown?’, but the last time I suggested a celebrity was having some kind of breakdown it turns out they actually were, so I’m not going to jinx Biebs right now.

TMZ just released a video of Bieber in Barcelona on Tuesday night after his concert. In the video, a guy runs up to Bieber’s car and stuck his hand in the window to touch him. Bieber responded with a quick jab to the face making the guy bleed pretty bad.

Remember two days ago when I was like ‘WTF is going on with Kanye and these concert rants? Is he having some kind of breakdown?’ Well, less than two hours after that blog was published Kanye canceled the remainder of his Saint Pablo tour, and less than 24 hours after that he was hospitalized.

Yesterday, West’s trainer, Harley Pasternak, called 911, due to a psychiatric emergency, stating that West was acting erratically. West had to be restrained before being transported to the UCLA Medical Center for psychiatric evaluation.

I understand that the title of this blog might be a bit confusing given the fact that it could be the title of any number of blogs written about Kanye over the past 10 years since he always seems to be having some type of breakdown.

However, unlike most people who have breakdowns and either spend some time in hospital or barricade themselves in their homes for a while, Kanye West has literally been given a stage to put his breakdowns on display, which is exactly what he did at his Sacramento concert on Saturday.

On Tyga’s actual bday, Kylie posted some sexy topless pics of the two together, and by sexy I mean totally disturbing because Tyga is a fugly grown man who has been using Kylie for sex, money and fame since she was like 16. I mean, I’m pretty sure he actually started dating the original Kylie Jenner before Kris upgraded her to Kylie 2.0.

Before I get started, I would just like to say that unless something monumental happens, this will be the last blog I write about Trump or anything political between now and Christmas as both an early Christmas gift to you guys and myself, deal? Deal.

As you can probably tell if you follow this blog, I was just as up in arms about the whole Trump getting elected president thing as much as anyone else, and even though I get why people are both upset and happy, I feel like protestors on both sides of this whole Trump thing are more so making themselves look like idiots rather than making any solid political points.