Sorry, that's the introduction to Willie Geist's next book--the culmination of his life's work. Look for it next spring, just in time for Mother's Day. This book is about his other passion: freaks.

When he's not in the lab, Geist spends his time on MSNBC's Morning Joe sifting through the wreckage of American politics and popular culture. These days, that's a big job. With an Alaska hockey mom turning, almost overnight, into a national icon and threatening to move from Wasilla to the White House, with the world's most famous athlete now associated less with the Masters and more with the strippers, and with reality TV working around the clock to ensure the constitutional right of every man, woman, and child to fifteen minutes of fame, Geist's business is thriving.

In his hilarious first book, American Freak Show, Geist takes the smart, biting observation loved by his television audience to new satirical extremes. The real-life characters who now haunt our daily lives are cast as stars in completely made-up scenes that, frankly, are not all that far from reality.

Geist treats us to the first look at President Sarah Palin's unconventional inaugural address, performed live on WWE's Monday Night Raw after her renegade victory in the 2012 election. We go inside the ballroom for a Dean Martin-style welcome roast of Bernie Madoff upon his arrival in Hell, with Pol Pot serving as sidesplitting roastmaster. Geist provides us with never-before-seen FBI wiretap transcripts of the more mundane, but equally profane, telephone conversations of former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich. And George W. Bush's batting-cage-and-waterslide-themed plans for a presidential library are laid out publicly for the first time.

From Obama to Oprah, Afghanistan to Lohan, and Snooki to the Salahis, Willie Geist spares no one as our host of this wild American Freak Show. You'll laugh out loud while weeping for the future of America.

Video: Geist on the 'American Freak Show'

Closed captioning of: Geist on the 'American Freak Show'

>>i've got to say, the nbc security people are deploying at this time right now. but
willie
, i know that your fans are going to get pretty ugly.

>>freak show
.

>>6th avenue
is blocked up all the way down to 40th.

>>i've sent pea stizzas out to the crowd.

>>i don't know where in the world you would get a concept for this book. jaws?

>>this is great. he's got a book, i've got a book. it's america.

>>the real competition, jaws say, is justin bieber. he has a book out. we need to squash him like a grape.

>>bieber fever.

>>willie
,
american freak
show has already been held by pull
pulitzer prize
winner in its genre. what is the genre ?g

>>it's satire. that's your genre. so the characters are real.

>>is that a sport?

>>the characters are real, the stories are fake. every chapter, 19 chapter, is a fictional situation. your first chapter is
sarah palin
giving her
inauguration address
after she's been elected president. it is in
2013
. she refuses to give it at the capitol because that's what washington insiders do. she does it inside on
wwe monday night raw
in front of an audience at the
ice palace
in tampa.

>>i can see it.

>>there is a lot of awesome stuff in this book. i don't want to give too much away.

>>he's actually read it.

>>i recommend the index, which is the
list of people
whose names aren't actually in the book.

>>normally the index is superfluous. you've already read the names in the book.

>>another one you'll like, joe, is blago. i got a hold of -- by that i mean made up -- the entire fbi catalog of his transcripts. the more mundane conversations but equally profane. for example, he's ordering out
little caesar
's pizza. it gets ugly. then he sams the
home shopping network
, he wants the pillow sham thrown in for free. offers her to become the
head of the statelottery commission
.

>>good lord!

>>this is a classic.

>>a hamlet for our times.

>>some have said. bernie madoff,
celebrity roast
in hell. when he's arrived in hell, some have suggested he might go there, if such a place exists. they always welcome the newcomer with a roast. paul pott is the roast master down at the airport radisson down there in the
john wayne
gasey banquet room. they just roast it up.
lee harvey oswald
is there.

>>willie
's making up index. were you chained down for your book, jaws.

>>it took three years to get this done. i may be a little slower --

>>well, we have a job. you just kind of bounced in on the weekends.

>>you have a very elegant
list of people
who have given you these blushes. when joe and i try to get a blush --

>>i didn't want to insult you by having to lie and say you enjoyed reading this book. i thought mark would be a better liar.

>>brian williams
of "nbc nightly news." he got his dad -- oddly, it is a negative.

>>they're all negative.

>>mine is very positive. "
american freak
show."
willie geist
's one part twain, one part carrot top, one part jekyll, one part heckle.