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Thursday, 14 February 2013

A Toast: To Husbands!

I love marriage. I love the whole institution. I love that I have someone who's going to be there, through thick and thin for the rest of my life. That whatever happens, I know that I won't be alone.

I love that I got married young. I now never have to worry about whether someone's going to call, or whether they like me or whether they're going to dump me. I never have to negotiate another first date (I'm not even sure if we had a first date!), or worry if there's going to be a second (ok, pretty sure that didn't happen). I never have to decide whether to declare my feelings or play it cool. I never even have to worry about who's going to change their relationship status on Facebook first (we were already together by the time FB was, well, in existence in the UK).

I love being married. Waking up with someone. Going to sleep with someone. Talking about my day with someone. I always have a sounding board and he's always around. It's just about experiencing life with someone.

George Eliot puts it so much better than I:

"What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life--to strengthen each other in all labour, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?" Adam Bede, by George Eliot

In fact, I have come to the conclusion that if it weren't for my husband, who has pretty much looked after me for the whole of my adult life, I would not be a fully functioning adult. I would also, probably, be a spinster (too shy). He gives me perspective when I panic about little things. He does all the housework when I can't be bothered. He keeps me wired with Starbucks and when that became too much, he bought me a coffee machine. He encourages me to follow my dreams and when I'm close to giving up, he gives me a nudge to get me going again. He has the patience of a saint when I'm an idiot and does all the difficult, adult things like paying bills when I do it wrong.

Which is why, today, on Valentine's Day, I'd like to propose a toast. To Husbands. In particular mine, and others like him, who always play the grown ups when we're busy day dreaming about lucrative book deals and writing careers. Who know the value of coffee in times of need. And who always say the right thing, even when it's not wholly true.