Rihanna covers Elle UK this month and talks about Chris Brown, Instagram and her future. Discussing Ri-Ri on this website is something of a lose-lose situation: Salem-style piling on her for her choices doesn't help anybody—especially not other women in similar situations—and I'll leave the alternative to the staff writer ladies who are more than equipped to tackle these issues. So, for today, at least, here's Rihanna on Rihanna.

"I Instagram everything about my life, whether it's smoking piff, in a strip club, reading a Bible verse-how crazy, I know-or hanging with my best friend, who happens to be Chris. I'm posting pictures of myself smoking piff to tell the truth about myself. I've got so much to think about, why bring all this extra shit by being dishonest?"

"‘Stay' is a story about having love that close and wanting it to last forever... You don't have that feeling with everybody so when you have it you don't want to let go of it. I would definitely say that he is the one I have that kind of relationship with. [...] What we want [is] a great friendship that's unbreakable. Now that we're adults we can do this right. We got a fresh start and I'm thankful for that."

Within the next five years, she says: ""Shall I say this? I will probably have a kid... (who'll be the father?) I can't tell you that. It's not my business. It's God's business."

In the wee hours last night in New York City, singers Chris Brown and Drake called their seconds,…
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"Everybody wanted to know what was happening in my life. Is she a drug addict? No. Is she an alcoholic? No. Is she a victim? No. That's when I got the gun [tattoo]. It was a symbol of strength. I'll never be a victim."

Kate Middleton got a $55 maternity dress from Topshop; is Just Like Us, with one tiny difference! [Us Weekly]

Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to his position as executive editor of bodybuilding mag Muscle & Fitness and Flex, aka MAAASCLE AND FEEEETNESS AND FLEX. [LA Times]

Seal is dating former Pink Power Ranger Erin Cahill. Related: Did you know that when it snows his eyes become large? [Us Weekly]

Harry Styles' tattoo artist thinks that he and Taylor Swift were never really in love: "Harry and Taylor didn't seem in love at all. There wasn't a sparkle in Harry's eye. Taylor came towards the end of his ship tattoo and sat with him but there was nothing magical going on." [Sugarscape]

Kanye West is struggling in vain to try to convince Kim Kardashian not to do a nude pregnancy shoot. It's a losing battle, 'Ye. [TV3.ie]

What the fuck? David Boreanez created Jennifer Hudson's Oscars nail polish. What the fuck? [People]