Moving Pixels

Quigley Down UnderBrings the "Code of the West" to the foreign soil of Australia. The sequel, "Quigley and Cheese," follows his grandson (Paul Reubens) as he travels to France and takes on French Bullies.

A Bridge Too FarAn example of what happens when you let Allies command U.S. troops.

This Is the ArmyFeatures a young Army Lieutenant with a bright future, you might've heard of him.

Band of BrothersIt is a great tribute to one of many outstanding units of the Allies in World War II. If only more of their accounts could be represented as well.

The Great Escape"Afraid this tea's pathetic. Must have used these wretched leaves about twenty times. It's not that I mind so much. Tea without milk is so uncivilized." - Flt. Lt. Colin Blythe

Stripes"We're all very different people. We're not Watusi, we're not Spartans, we're Americans. With a capital "A," huh? And you know what that means? Do you? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world."

PattonMy Old Man thought enough of this movie he took me to see it in the theater.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The HIPAA Critic's Oaths

Insurance companies claim to dislike HIPAA (Health Insurance Payment Anti-Acceleration) because of all the bureaucratical red taping it demands, but we know better.

A case in point: my Large, Well-Known Medical Insurance Company has a claim pending since April of aught-three involving a routine medical matter for Gladys. Total charge: $86 (American). Our coverage was new and we didn't have the insurance card, so we paid the full amount and filed the claim shortly thereafter.

A number of moons go by...

I send in a photocopy with "SECOND REQUEST" on it.

A number of other moons go by and the claim has celebrated its first birthday, so I call up LWKMIC's Claim Persistance Line and - after some lovely taped ads for them, plus a disclaimer that my call may be recorded to be replayed in the supervisors' lounge as an employee benefit - get an American (in America) on the line...

sCHMED: This is Schmedulov Jostikovitch with group IMSOL calling in reference to a claim on my daughter, Gladys, in April of aught-three.

ICR: Mr. Jostikovitch, could you please verify the last four digits of your social?

sCHMED: (fighting back Pavlovian anger because the SSN is again being used for purposes beyond the Soshasecurity System) 1-2-3-4 (and I could probably put the real numbers in there because they aren't very hard to find).

ICR: What is your group number?

sCHMED: I-M-S-O-L.

ICR: Are you the patient?

sCHMED: No, it is my daughter, Gladys, D-O-B MM/DD/YYYY.

ICR: What is the date of the claim?

sCHMED: (Unable to refer the ICR several lines up where all this frustratingly repetitive information exchange was first presented...) Oh-four of Twenty-Aught-Three.

ICR: Just a moment while I retrieve your information.

ICR: Sir, is your daughter with you?

sCHMED: No.

ICR: I'm sorry, but I can't release any information about this claim to anyone but the Provider or the Patient.

sCHMED: Gladys! Hey, y'got a minute to talk to the Insurance Lady with yer Old Man?

GLADYS: Um, sure.

[schmed hits "CONF" button]

sCHMED: Ma'am?

ICR: Yes?

sCHMED: I have Gladys on the phone with us and she'd like to know the status of the claim.

ICR: OK. Gladys, can you verify your date of birth?

GLADYS: MM/DD/YYYY.

ICR: OK, thank you. We requested a breakdown of the charges from the doctor and haven't received a response.

sCHMED: Um, when did this take place?

ICR: May bempty-blempth of 2003.

sCHMED: And you followed-up - when?

ICR: I can submit another request if you would like.

sCHMED: (in an eerily pleasant voice) Gladys and I would like that very much. She would also like some notification by mail of the status from time to time, wouldn't you Gladys?

Not that it matters, but the claim is still unresolved, so the Large, Well-Known Medical Insurance Company hasn't paid the Doctor $17.38, so the Doctor hasn't written off the $68.62 balance or remitted the original $86 to me Gladys.

I won't even try to get the Doctor's office to credit it against Guido's outstanding balance - I don't think I could refrain from speaking those oaths out loud.

Comments

I hope you're charging interest and have turned the this matter over to a collection agency. Won't thisisJanehowmayIhelpyou be surprised when Frankie Kneebreaker and Knuckles Malloy show up to collect the cash.