As much as we here at Deadspin like to poke fun at sportswriters and political hot-take artists, the truth is that business journalists may be the lowliest scum of all. We’re all horrified by Darren Rovell, and yet there’s only ONE of him in sports. Really, that man is just a business reporter in spirit, crossing over…

The editorial staff of Oklahoma State’s student newspaper, The O’Colly, is NOT happy about Central Michigan’s Hail Mary Lateral play this past Saturday, which was one of the greatest college football plays of all time but which also technically shouldn’t have been allowed by officials.

It’s the question on America’s mind: After Kevin Durant abandoned Oklahoma City to join forces with the Golden State Warriors and their garbage fans, who would blurt out the shittiest, most predictably obnoxious, pseudo-macho take possible? Would it be Stephen A. Smith, who previously threatened Durant and then called…

A year after his rude ouster from ESPN, you’re about to get a whole shitload of Bill Simmons back in your life, both at The Ringer (set to formally debut next month, although they’re already pumping out vital “Is Tom Hiddleston A Superstar?” takes on Facebook) and with his new HBO show, Any Given Wednesday, which also…

ESPN’s Tim Keown did a deep dive on former White Sox 1B/DH Adam LaRoche today, the kind of purple-hued schlongread that purports to tell you the REAL STORY of LaRoche’s decision to walk away from baseball after White Sox boss Ken Williams asked him to stop bringing his son to the ballpark every day. But of course,…

You knew they were coming, America. The second the Patriots got busted for doctoring footballs, you knew the TAKENAMI would rush in. And VERILY IT HAS COME TO PASS. Oh, people. Oh, this is my Christmas. These takes are so pure in their stridency, so firm in their conviction that ROGER GOODELL MUST ACT… I feel…

It's October, which means it's time for St. Louis Cardinals fans like Will Leitch to go skipping out of the five-and-dime wearing their propeller beanies and poisoning America with their phony brand of trumped-up goody-goodyism.

Even by the standards of fake trend pieces in the The New York Times, today's column in about "The Demise of the Pen" in—where else?—the fashion and style section is exceptionally breathtaking in its presumptuousness. Join me now and marvel as writerer Nick Bilton turns a moment of sheer banality into a full-blown…

So this had no purpose but to get attention, and now it has: a remarkably racist column about biracial 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick written by AOLSportingNewsFanhouseBleacherMuckrackGrid writer David Whitley. Kaepernick's parents have already seen it and openly lambasted it. And KSK's Mike Tunison pointed out that AOL…

I'm gonna preface all this by telling you that I don't really watch baseball, nor do I particularly care who won the AL MVP award. But the beauty of reading a terrible Mitch Albom column is that you don't HAVE to know much about anything, because Mitch will always deliberately know less than you. Mitch writes for a…

Do me a favor right now: Drive out to your local exurb. Now, find the nearest Cheesecake Factory in that exurb, walk up to the bar, and try and spot the 40-year-old fellow wearing pleated chinos, loafers, and a button-down shirt with his real-estate company's logo on it. You see that guy? THAT is Rick Reilly's…

If you've hung out around this site in the past, you know that we consider ESPN fartsniffer Gregg Easterbrook to be a haughty dipshit. When Easterbrook isn't spending inches of column space attacking the plot holes in an episode of Human Target (He does just that this week, which is timely!), he's indulging in his…

You only need to see the headline and the byline to know what you're in for with yesterday's breathtakingly pointless Easterbrook essay about President Obama filling out a March Madness bracket. Yes, some people are still actually debating this. BLACKIEHUSSEINBRACKETGATE! Let's dive in, shall we?