Having young or even adolescent children around can put a serious dent in a couple’s intimate life. But it does not have to be that way! With a little thought, planning and attention, parents can be lovers too! Here are 5 ways to bring back that “lover” feeling:

1. Have an army of babysitters ready to assist. Having multiple choices will maximize the probability of actually getting one. Don’t just depend on your mother or mother-in-law. Then go out on a date- consistently!

2. Schedule time to pay attention to each other and communicate about things that really matter to each of you. It is actually best to do it at the same time every night. It can be for as little as 10 minutes per day. Those 10 minutes can help you remember what it is like to be a couple rather than just parents or financial partners. (Spontaneity is overrated in our busy lives).

3. Schedule time for sex. (See words in parentheses above). Make sure it is enough time to be more than a quickie. Slow touch and foreplay is essential to bring back that “lover” feeling.

4. This maybe should have been # 1: Remember what it was like when you experienced your partner and you as lovers whether that was pre-kids or pre-marriage. Re-experience those feelings as deeply as you can.

5. Ask your partner what his or her secret sexual fantasy is. If you have had that conversation before, ask for a new one. This keeps the relationship interesting, fresh and alive.

6. Just like anything else, in order to be lovers, you need to set aside some time and attention for it. The good news is that it does not take a whole lot of time. A little time each day goes a long way!

I am so excited because my second book, “Love, Sex and Karaoke- 52 Ways to Ignite Your Love Life” is coming out this week!

This book has been inspired by my own Todd’s Thursday’s Thoughts, which I have been sending out over the years. This book is designed so that you can take these tips (I like to call them golden nuggets of information), that have been edited for this book, and then follow my directions on how to apply each tip. Applying these 52 ways could significantly improve your relationship. The idea is for you to have the kind of relationship with your intimate partner that you dream about. And here is the best news for you!!!

From Thursday, February 27th through March 1st (that is 4 days in this short month), you can get the kindle/pdf version of the book for FREE!