Baseball Insider: August 30, 2009 - September 5, 2009

On Monday, the day portion of a day-night doubleheader between the Pirates and Reds drew barely 2,000 fans. A day matchup between those two teams drew more fans on Wednesday ... barely. If you ever wondered what a near 50,000-person stadium would look like with 2,000 people in it, that section in the background behind Pirates starter Zach Duke is a pretty good indication. Three-six people per section, throughought the park. Yikes.

AL Quote of the Night "I'm just glad she didn't read me my rights." -- Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez joking about his brief run in with the Canadian law while chasing down a foul ball New York Yankees 10, Toronto Blue Jays 5 Jorge Posada went 4 for 5...

Clearly, Felix Hernandez has this whole royalty thing backwards. He may only be a king in figurative speech, but if he's going to enjoy the nickname, he might as well own it. Heck, if we were called "King Felix", we'd be rolling around Seattle in a crown and plates on the back of our Masserati that spelled out "CARAGE" "DA KING" or "CROWN ME", or something equally over the top. Admit it, you would, too.

For years it's been said that National League hitting is inferior to that of the American League but in the past few weeks it seems like pitchers who have recently left the AL for the NL are having their way with the senior circuit.

NL Quote of the Night: "It's hard to sweep a team in four games. You don't see that much." -- Reds Manager Dusty Baker on sweeping a team in four games, which is precisely what his team did to the Pirates over the past three days. Padres 7, Nationals 0...

AL Quote of the Night "You're not always going to win. It's not always going to be an oil painting." -- Rays Manager Joe Maddon, after what I guess he might qualify as more of a watercolor win over the Red Sox Tampa Bay Rays 8, Boston Red Sox 5...

Yup, you guessed it, the world's most famous butt-wiggling Japanese pitcher was throwing in a warm up game in Manchester, N.H. last week, playing for a team from Portland. That would be Portland Maine, which can't be what Daisuke Matsuzaka had in mind when he signed with the Red Sox from Japan. If course, if he's in the playoff rotation for the Red Sox come October, something tells us he won't be complaining.

For those of you worried about how the Mets were going to protect David Wright's cabeza in his return from a recent concussion, don't worry, MLB TV has you covered. On Tuesday night, the same evening that Wright made his comeback, Billy Ripken and Victor Rojas, two of the network's nightly anchors, gave Wright's "enhanced" helmet a thorough testing. And by thorough we mean that Rojas basically beat up Ripken while he was wearing the helmet for a few minutes.

AL Quote of the Night "I was hoping I remembered how to jog around the bases. ... There was a sense of relief." -- Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton who homered (twice, in fact) for the first time since August 7 Game 1: Texas Rangers 5, Toronto Blue Jays 2 Game...

NL Quote of the Night: "I thought that was a really big at-bat. It made us kind of relax a little and say, 'You know what, we can score some runs off this guy.'" -- Rockies slugger and elder statesman Todd Helton, on a bases loaded walk off New York...

No, it's not a spa, it's a baseball game played at 94-degree heat. In California. Of course, that could mean that it's nearly identical to a sauna. Your call. Either way, if we were Daric Barton, we'd want our face in a cold towel, too.

According to the Associated Press, the attendances for yesterday's day-night doubleheader between the Reds and Pirates in Cincinnati were the smallest in Great American Ballpark history. The nightcap hosted only 9,087 fans, a paltry sum for a park which can comfortably seat 42,000, particularly when you consider how many of those tickets were part of a season ticket package. If you think that's bad, brace yourself for the daytime attendance: below 2,000.

Yes, despite some pretty horrendous defending by Manny Ramirez and a loss to the cellar-dwelling Diamondbacks, the Dodgers suddenly look a lot deeper and more formidable for the postseason, thanks to two last second moves that added significant pieces to their puzzle just before the deadline for players to be made eligible for postseason rosters.

AL Quote of the Night "He certainly didn't have very good success today." -- Tigers Manager Jim Leyland on pitcher Jarrod Washburn who got shelled for eight runs Monday night Tampa Bay Rays 11, Detroit Tigers 7 The Rays put up six runs in the top half of the first...

NL Quote of the Night: "I just think that I see the ball real good here. "If you take a ballpark that you see the ball real good, for me it's here. I hit a lot here - I got places I don't see the ball good and it's the...

It may not be graceful on grass, but imagine if Arizona's Stephen Drew were pulling this slide on top of a board while riding a wave? It's a pretty decent wipe out pose, no? And Drew clearly could pull off the whole surfer look, even if he could enhance it a ton by growing out those locks a little bit ...

Baltimore managed to split a four-game series against the visiting Cleveland Indians this weekend to bring their post-all-star-break record to 14-29. Sadly for the Orioles, the end of the Indians series also marked the end of the easy part of their schedule.

After listening to Royals Manager Trey Hillman and trying to decipher the manager for nearly two years, the Kansas City Star's Sam Mellinger broke down and offered up a comprehensive "Hillman dictionary". We wholeheartedly encourage you to work your way through the entire list at the blog post linked above, but here are our favorite excerpts from "Trey Speak":

But from the morning of August 1 through this Monday morning, none of the six division races changed hands, nor did either of the wild card leads. In fact, on the morning of August 1, the Giants and Rockies were tied for the NL wild card lead -- and Monday morning, they were still tied (thanks to the Giants' three-game sweep this weekend).

AL Quote of the Night "I'm just so excited to be back. I want a World Series ring. Hopefully I can help this team get there. I'll clean toilets if I have to, and I told them that." -- Red Sox pitcher Paul Byrd who went from throwing batting practice...

NL Quote of the Night: "He is opening up his front shoulders. They're getting a good look at him, because they're not swinging and missing at all. That's usually a pretty good indication you're showing the ball to the hitter a little prematurely and you're giving the hitter a longer...