Thursday, February 12, 2009

Maybe It's Next to My Keys

I had a weird dream last night. It was the first of what I am sure will be many more baby related dreams.

I have always had a very active mind while asleep - I can rarely recall an evening where I don't dream (maybe that's why I wake so tired?). I find that the dreams are particularly active when I am stressed/overthinking something.

So last night, I dreamed about the baby. I dreamed that I asked my husband where the baby was, and he told me he left it in the car. I dreamed that it had a square head. I dreamed that I couldn't figure out how to feed it. I dreamed that I didn't have a car seat when it "showed up" so I stuck it in a box when I got in the car. I dreamed I that I kept forgetting where I left it (which resulted in deciding to carry it in my coat pocket).

Apparently, I dreamed that we are incredibly incompetent parents.

In waking life, I haven't really been overly worried about my ability to be a mom. I have a great example to follow, who happens to be more than willing to help me figure it out now that its my turn. And I fully accept that I am not going to magically know how to do everything.

But I also have a theory that when I sleep, my mind is like a database that reindexes during its downtime. It starts shuffling memories and unconscious thoughts to different files so the useful things are more readily accessible. When it does that, things I didn't even realize I was thinking about, or even worried about, come flying past in sometimes oddly presented images.

Given that, somewhere in my head, I must be stressing a little about the responsibilities of being a mom.

I guess I should thank my brain for pushing it somewhere towards the back.

Current Mood: Too early for a moodCurrently Listening to: Hometown Glory by AdeleNumber of Weeks Prego: 16Baby's Current Size: Avocado