Tuesday, March 24, 2015

"The fear was so thick you could cut it with a knife." Bree Catlin was attending the Charlotte City Council meeting (Monday March 2nd) for the big debate over the city's proposed LGBT Non-Discrimination Ordinance. Bree, like many of the attendees and several of the speakers at the meeting, is transgender. As a transgender woman, a key provision of the ordinance relates directly to her ability to live her life normally, at work and in other public places in the city.Bree could feel the hate that entire night. In the crowded chamber, she was hit several times by cardboard signs held by the people behind her. The signs read "Don't Do It Charlotte," and were held by some of the estimated 60% of attendees who opposed the ordinance. After striking her with the signs, some rudely proclaimed "Oops, sorry sir." Bree said that she didn't get hurt so she ignored it.*****Janice Covington Allison was running 45 minutes late when she arrived at the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Government Center for the controversial city council meeting. Once inside, it didn't take long for controversy to find Janice. It caught up with her in (of all places) the restroom.Janice was scheduled to be one of the speakers that night and was in the women's restroom fixing her hair before the meeting, when a Charlotte policewoman walked in and asked her to leave. As she was being escorted out of the restroom Janice was told a woman had complained to the police about Janice being in the restroom with her and her two kids.As a member of the coalition backing Charlotte's proposed non discrimination ordinance, Janice is a proud transgender woman and activist. She's on the front line of the struggle for transgender rights. The night of the meeting her involvement in that struggle put her in a situation that impeded her rights to a basic function of society, using the restroom. Thank goodness she didn't face legal charges.*****The council meeting that night in Charlotte was for public comments, then a vote on an expansion of the city's nondiscrimination ordinance to include
sexual orientation, gender expression and gender identity to a list of
protected groups. It also would prohibit discrimination based on
someone’s marital and familial status. In listening to the almost 5 hours hours of public testimony it became clear that the greatest complaint about the ordinance, in the minds of its detractors, was the "bathroom provision." This was the provision that would allow trans people to use the bathroom in which they feel more comfortable. Speaker after speaker came to the microphone to proclaim how this ordinance could endanger women and young girls when using public restrooms. Most of this fear mongering centered around the fact that a man could claim to be transgender just to use the women's room, presumably for sinister reasons. While no one on either side of the debate wants that scenario to occur (and in fact that is just as rare in places where trans people are allowed to use gender appropriate public facilities as it is when they are legally required to use the facility of their birth gender), this mass of testimony seemed an effective smokescreen.Janice told me she proposed to the committee that the bathroom ordinance be specific to transgender people who are medically transitioning from one gender to another. These people would likely have identification matching their gender presentation or a letter from their psychologist or physician stating they were in transition and should be allowed to use public facilities in which they felt more comfortable, or appropriate for them. The committee chose a broader approach, to allow any trans person to use the restroom of their choice regardless of their documentation or presentation. Considering that all transgender people may not look like typical males or females (and there is a broad range of identities under the transgender umbrella), the committee took the high road of maximum inclusiveness. Janice warned the planning committee that the ordinance would not pass with such a provision, and she was right. Janice also wanted the inclusiveness but just didn't think it would pass. Perhaps she knows the political atmosphere in the bible belt all too well.The Charlotte City Council voted 6-5 that evening to reject the ordinance. Two Democrats switched sides and voted with the Republicans in opposition after the council approved a compromise that would have excluded restrooms, locker rooms,
showers, and changing rooms from the proposed non-discrimination
protections. Apparently they were going to wait until the whole enchilada was back on the table.*****Watching the hours of testimony and seeing the newspaper pictures the next day told the rest of the story. Bree Caitlin was in one of those pictures in which someone behind her appears to be staring at her, in her words, "with daggers." Bree also mentioned that "The
Benhams and their tribe sent in the kids with instructions to run out
screaming about a man in the restroom. They staged it so that a speaker
could use in as anti trans stuff."

The Benhams are a "Christian" activist family whose members were vocally protesting the ordinance that night. Apparently when Janice Covington Allison was confronted in the bathroom it was because of a complaint by the Benhams. Knowing who Janice was, when she entered the women's restroom they sent a lady in with two kids and a video camera while another alerted the police. They were looking for a confrontation. Luckily they didn't get one that night besides the organized speakers expressing their sentiments, and the vote itself.

While there were more people speaking out against the ordinance than for it, signs saying "Don't Discriminate Charlotte" seemed almost as prevalent as those that read "Don't Do It Charlotte." Many spoke in favor of the ordinance, and non discrimination in general. One of the speakers referred to Bree Caitlin as "Auntie Bree" and proclaimed that her family member was not a predator. "She's a brave soul seeking justice in a world that tries to destroy her."

Bree herself stated after the vote that she had been backing off her role in activism but now she is standing up and speaking up. Janice has since been elected Chair of Precinct #29 of the North Carolina Democratic Party and promises to continue the fight in the political arena for LGBT (which includes Transgender) rights.

*****So, that's what's going on in Charlotte. What's going on in the rest of the country? In many places it's even worse. States including Texas and Florida are proposing ordinances specifically targeting transgender bathroom rights. They aren't just voting against expanding stated rights but actively seeking to take these rights away.Some people may ask why all this matters. Well, it matters because in order to function normally in society All people need access to public restrooms. Some trans people ask how this applies to them, if they have "their papers" or are among the fortunate of us who can "pass" as their true gender. Well, that matters because some of these proposed laws, including the one in Texas which states that "people should use the restrooms matching their gender assigned at birth." I suppose if you are lucky enough to have your birth certificate changed you would probably be ok, but technically not ok according to how some of the laws are being written.We should also stand up for the rights of everyone. One thing that is not often stated is that there are existing laws, strong laws, against people using Any restroom for the purpose of attack or sexual predation. This is simply not the case when it comes to transgender people using the restroom they identify with. As some have stated, "Let them pee!!"

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Monday was March 2nd and my day to head to Rex Hospital in Raleigh for an ultrasound test. Mitchell had been home with me since Wednesday evening, but he had to follow the Monday routine and drive back to Virginia for work. He'd arrived just an hour or so ahead of the big snow that caused a (4 hour) power outage Thursday morning. He also brought a cold with him so he spent the 4 days with me at home resting, while I walked the dogs in the snow and cooked for him in the evenings. All of this was a nice distraction from thinking about my problems, the coming test and finding out what's wrong with me.

The dogs rode with me to the hospital, as it was cool enough for them to wait in the car while I went inside. We were to meet up with Joan later for a walk in the park and a quick dinner.

Rex is a big hospital but after a good bit of walking I finally found the area to check in for the ultrasound test. When they called me back to admissions I felt as if I was being checked in for an overnight stay in the hospital. I had to fill out paperwork, show my driver's license and insurance card and then got a regular hospital wristband. It sure is nice to have all the ID and paperwork match who I am, and with all that and a good presentation I am confident I passed fine.Now it was time to take the long walk down the long hall, with seven turns, to the ultrasound area. The nice man who'd checked me in escorted me back after first asking me if I was up for a walk. I guess I could have opted for a wheelchair, but I certainly didn't need it.

While we were walking back I did see one woman in a wheelchair and another in a hospital bed being pushed down the hall by a couple of orderlies. My mind flashed back to my own time in the hospital last September. I noted how big and scary this hospital was compared to the cozy little Metropolitan Center for Plastic Surgery where I stayed in Montreal.

I saw several pregnant women standing in the hall and it sort of made me jealous that I missed this in my life. I missed the opportunity to have kids. At the same time it made me feel good to finally be in the place I am in life, to fully be a woman, not just mentally, but socially and now physically.

The Ultrasound machine

When I finally got to the ultrasound room I was greeted by a petite nurse who asked me a few questions and showed me what she would be doing in the procedure. One of the questions she asked was where was the swelling. She asked if it was along my bikini line or on my labia. I told her most of it was on my right, lower labia but some did extend out, so she was going to check the whole area.

She told me to pull my pants down to my knees, but I didn't have to take them off. I thought to myself how great it was to be able to take my clothes off and still be seen as me. I can now pass with my clothes off...:)

The lights in the room were dimmed for the tests and from my position on the bed I couldn't see the screen of the ultrasound machine. The nurse lubed up a probe and slowly ran it around my entire groin area, on both sides. I don't know what type of lubricant she used but it was warm, as she said it would be. The test only took a few minutes and when it was over she gave me a towel to wipe off, turned on the lights and asked me to wait while she went to ask the radiologist if they had what they needed.

They got it, so I was off through the expansive maze of hallways, following signs back to the Main Entrance and across some parking lots to another part of the campus to see my doctor, Keelee MacPhee. She only had a few minutes with me before taking a conference call and she wanted to give me another granulation treatment.

The results of the tests were not available yet, but one of the things she was concerned about was inguinal herniation. This can sometimes happen as a result of surgery and is a protrusion of part of the intestine. I didn't feel like this was what was wrong, but it is certainly a cause for concern especially because it requires a minor surgery to correct.

When she examined me, Dr. Macphee seemed thrilled that the granulated area at the bottom of my vagina looked much better. I felt the slight burn of the silver nitrate stick as she gave me one more treatment while noting that the swelling on my right labia had subsided some, but was still present. I took some solace in the fact that everything seems better and today's tests went quickly and easily. I'll come back next Monday for a full report.

Rex Hospital's own "snow doctor" melts outside in the 60 degree heat.

Results of the Test:I got a call today (Wednesday afternoon). I didn't recognize the number so, as usual, I didn't answer the phone but the message said it was Keelee and she was calling with the results of my test.

Apparently the tests showed that I do not have an inguinal or any type of hernia. My worst fears (something like cancer) were also ruled out. The tests did show a lymph node on the right side that was swollen. She said that is not unusual, even at this stage of recovery from surgery, and could be present because of the granulation. I probably also aggravated it when massaging the scars. This place now has the same feel and consistency of swollen lymph nodes I've had on my neck, so this makes sense.

I go back in Monday for a full examination and a full report. I have to say I feel quite a bit better after getting these results. I really didn't want another surgery right now, even a minor corrective one, although you have to be prepared for that when you have a major surgery like GRS.

I know i have a lot more healing to do and it looks like it's going to take the whole year, just like the surgeon said. Sometimes hanging in there and being tough is what it takes to get through this. That's something that hasn't been my strong point, but I am learning....

About Me

Welcome to Tammy World. I'm a fun loving, adventurous woman who takes
life one day at the time. I started this blog in 2012 to follow my
life and continuing journey. Things can get a little crazy
here in Tammy World but I always try to have fun with what life throws my way, and it has been said that I view the world from a childlike
perspective. Thanks for joining me on my adventures and I hope y'all stay tuned...