After a steady stream of vampire tales these days, the script (which is played straight) is creakier than a box-springs factory. But familiarity is only one issue.

Awkward acting, cheapo effects and a tatty set raise giggles, not goose bumps.

As Dracula, Michel Altieri, an Italian performer making his U.S. debut, flashes eyes, teeth and cape (costumes are by the estimable Willa Kim) but no charisma.

It's no help that director Paul Alexander saddles the count with a ridiculous wig from the Morticia Addams collection, which he wears in a ponytail (when he's cordial) and tousled (when he's supposed to be sexy).