Newsreaders’ easy banter degenerates to slanging match and violence

A light-hearted exchange between two newsreaders at the end of last night’s six o’clock news on ITV has resulted with both presenters being sacked for deeply offensive behaviour and use of foul language.

As the programme was drawing to a close following a story about the rescue of a stoat trapped in a discarded washing machine, Mark Austin humorously said to Mary Nightingale ‘That was almost two minxes on tonight’s show! Good evening…’ and continued to shuffle his papers as the lights dimmed.

Nightingale was clearly outraged by Austin’s ad-libbed aside, telling him that he was a ‘sexist bastard’ who deserved castrating. Austin responded with ‘Shut it, you slag!’ at which point she stood-up and landed a full punch on his nose sending blood splattering across the studio.

The director quickly cut to the weather, but the grappling newsreaders staggered in front of the weathermap, where viewers saw Nightingale hitting Austin over the head with his laptop and kicking him in the groin. While the distracted weatherman struggled to predict a cold night ‘with chance of showers later’, the couple continued swearing, spitting and pulling each others hair. Nightingale’s next move was to grab Austin by the throat whilst delivering a brutal head-butt which pole-axed her male colleague. Nightingale then ran triumphantly around the studio shouting ‘Austin’s fucked now, the miserable lying wanker,’ before the vision mixer finally managed to switch to the weather in your local area.

Following the incident witnessed by millions of viewers both newsreaders were called before ITV’s management and immediately dismissed. The two will be taking up their new positions on the Jeremy Kyle show from tomorrow morning.