LiLo’s Playboy Stint to Pay for Hardworking Bail Bondsman

Looks like rotten teeth aren’t the only thing Lindsay Lohan is flashing these days. That’s right my friends; not only were we fortunate to recently see Lindsay’s stunning drug-stained choppers, soon enough our favorite Hollywood outlaw will grace the pages of Playboy for our viewing (dis)pleasure.

Now before we begin judging those who are emptying out their piggy banks to purchase this spectacle, allow me to put things in perspective for you. The 25-year-old had somewhat of a rocky past few years, which have undoubtedly left some emotional scars (those are scars, not just freckles).

This chick needs some source of income to pay off her hardworking lawyers, publicists and bail bondsman (who are doing a stellar job), and to invest in some underwear. The more magazines that are purchased, the more ways we can further enable her responsible and conscious life choices. For example – without our monetary support, where would Lindsay find the dough to get her luxurious “F*CK U” manicures?

And don’t for a second think she just uses her money for superficial things like spray tans, tattoos and hair bleach. Recently, Lindsay promptly reported to her community service at a local morgue where she generously attempted to foot the bill for a bunch of In-N-Out burgers and cupcakes. I am a bit puzzled why dead people would be hungry for lunch and dessert, but I’ll just attribute it to Lohan’s gracious and thoughtful nature. Speaking of food—how can we expect her sister, little orphan Aliana, to eat if Lindsay doesn’t buy her some grub? The 30 pound model looks lighter than the bag of coke Lindsay keeps in her purse.

Do the troubled starlet a solid and endorse Playboy’s fresh faced drug free cover girl. You can scrape the money together – even if it takes looking under couch cushions, or selling used DVD’s of Herbie Fully Loaded. If you still need some convincing, just think of it this way; it’s cheaper to buy a dirty magazine then to support an inmate in our current prison system. A purchase of Playboy is one less movie star behind bars. Or consider her a donation to charity (minus the tax ride off) How can you argue with that logic?