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So I'm sat here typing this with sudocreme rubbed around the hairline of my poor, inflamed skin. Exactly how I imagined my life would be when I embarked on a maternity leave sojourn into blogging about all things beauty.

High on the success of my 17th blonde iteration on Saturday I have now, (72 hours later), come to realise that I must be very allergic to the toner they used on me. This is a shame for several reasons. Firstly my scalp bloody hurts and has a horrible red rash around it which looks gross. Secondly, I can no longer have this, or I suspect, any toner in future. Thirdly, the list of hair dyeing products which I am allergic to is growing considerably faster than my Instagram followers. Fourthly, did I mention that it hurts.

And so I sit here popping antihistamines (not too many as I'm breastfeeding - come to think of it my child did sleep well today) and smothered in sudocreme. I have long discovered that sudocreme is the cure of most evils (ingrown hairs, eczema, spots) and it has a slightly cooling effect on my raging skin (top tip: put it in the fridge for added relief).

I've also heard good things about 'heal balm' which is also supposed to be a great healing elixir produced by plastic surgeons, who I guess would know. At least I now have the opportunity to test it. Every cloud etc.........

So, I guess the moral of this story is to patch test everything if, like me, you have raging T cells which mount an immune response to cotton wool.