Fugliest Things

The outfit is only okay. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to learn that several party guests absently ordered martinis from her and/or handed her their coats, but no cartoon characters are vomiting up blood all over her skirt so I consider it a small victory. In fact, if I didn’t know from other pictures and blogs that she’d been a total sweaty, blurry mess lately, I might have patted her on the back for pulling it together long enough to stand upright and smile.

Her shoes, though, are giving me frown lines:

Wedges AND a separate heel? Isn’t that a freakish bit of overkill? It makes me think of the hotly rumored — but probably not actual — six-fingered hand of Anne Boleyn, where she allegedly had an extra pinky or at least some kind of nubbin growing out of her fifth finger (dramatic, sure, but it’s not like she killed Inigo Montoya’s father or anything — now THAT would be a story).

Of course, that thing on Lily’s shoes is more than a nubbin. It’s a full-on bonus prong. At first I thought maybe Lily added the wedge later for effect — and arch support — but that’s not possible, because the heel itself naturally extends far enough down that you can tell these were always intended to look like this. By someone who clearly hates shoes. I mean, they’re just ugly. They kind of remind me of cloven hooves. Between Posh’s boots with no heel at all and Lily’s that have doubled up, I think I’d take Posh’s; at least, if worn correctly and with no neck-breaking slapstick spills down the stairs, those shoes come with bragging rights.