"I change shapes just to hide in this place, but I'm still, I'm still..."

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Jail Break

Not so long ago, an editor at my office was working with a client who tends to be a bit demanding. One day the client stopped by our office unexpectedly to just "hang out" aka use our internet until he needed to be somewhere.

The editor didn't particularly want to see this client so he decided to go watch a movie in the transporter located in his office. The transporter is a story all its own, but for the purposes of this story, all you need to know is that it's a small spaceship type fort(shown below) with a TV and DVD player inside it (seriously, don't ask).

Tin foil is so futuristic.

Anyway, the editor, who we'll call Jim, goes into the transporter and the client, who we'll call Stan, comes downstairs to my office to hang out. Since my office is right next to Jim's office I go into Jim's office and warn him not to come out of the transporter because Stan is right next door. Jim continues to watch his movie and Stan continues to browse the web in my office.

Twenty minutes or so go by and I am called upstairs for something. When I return to my office I notice that Stan has relocated to JIM'S OFFICE while Jim is STILL HIDING IN THE TRANSPORTER. I should mention that the sound in the transporter is heard through headphones essentially rendering the viewer deaf to all outside noise.

Reenactment

So to recap, Stan is about three feet away from the transporter and Jim is inside the transporter with no idea that Stan is outside. Awwwkwarrrrddd.

If Jim were to just pop out of the transporter, Stan would start to ask questions and poor Jim would be caught in the act of trying to hide from his client, not to mention thoroughly embarrassed.

I realized action must be taken and fast. Just as I had done previously, I needed to somehow inform Jim that Stan was outside, so that he would not come out until Stan had left. I threw around a few ideas...

1. Sending him a text with the risk of Stan hearing the alert noise and getting up to investigate.

2. Entering Jim's office and saying very loudly "SO STAN, YOU ARE JUST GOING TO BE IN JIM'S OFFICE FOR A WHILE THEN?"

3. Send Jim a morse code warning by means of tapping on the wall adjacent to the transporter.

After consulting others in the office, I decided to send Jim a text warning him about Stan's presence...

Stan remained in the Jim's office and Jim remained in the transporter...

We waited...

After what seemed like hours (but was actually about 20 minutes) I got bored and went back upstairs to let my coworkers know that Jim was indeed still trapped in the transporter.... just waiting(Jim told me later that the movie had ended some time ago and he was just sitting there in fear for quite sometime).

During this time various people went into Jim's office to try and lure Stan out of the room.

"Hey Stan, come watch this cut, it's really neat"

"No thanks"

"Hey Stan, would you like anything to eat? Let's go to the Kitchen and you can pick something out"

"Nah, I'm good"

"Hey Stan, I think someone's on the phone for you"

"Just transfer it in here, will you?"

He would not fucking budge. Jim would have to live in the transporter, forever.

By now, the whole office was in a tizzy and trying to think of ways to get Stan out of the room. After our many attempts we knew it would take a miracle, something unprecedented, so obviously, some kind of Apple product. And that's when it hit us, Stan LOVES iChat video chats. And really who doesn't? You can see AND hear the person when they're not even in the same room! Amazing.

So, the new plan was for me to tell Stan that our receptionist had invited him to a video chat via my computer (so he would have to get up to come see) and then someone would run in to get Jim out while Stan was busy enjoying the live picture and delayed audio of someone he could easily talk to in person by just taking the ten steps to the next floor.

I approached the room once more.

"Hey Staaa"

"Hey was someone on the phone for me?"

"ummmmmm, I think I'm getting a video chat!"

I quickly ran into my office and shouted, "Stan, Momo wants to video chat with you"

Instantly Stan popped out of his seat and was in my office chattin it up with Momo, the receptionist.

"Hey, Momo, can you hear me?"

"Yeah, heeeyyy"

"What's up?"

"So it does work...cool"

"Yeah..."

"Ok"

"Ok"

"Later"

"Bye"

Meanwhile, someone ran into Jim's office, threw open the transporter door (where Jim was sitting shoe less and almost out of oxygen) and pulled Jim out and into his desk chair.

After completing his very boring,very technologically groundbreaking video chat, Stan reentered Jim's office to find Jim sitting at his desk almost as if he appeared out of thin air, and shoe less.

"Whoa Jim, where did you come from?"

"Uhhh, I was working in the other room, on some graphics... for... your video."

"Dude I didn't even know you were here today"

"Yep, just cutting away (that's an editing term, editors are cool like that), I'm actually going to head back in there."

And just like that, Jim stood up and walked out of the room, right past Stan, in his socks.

I think I'm starting to understand what people mean when they talk about how rewarding one's workplace can be.