Here’s me yesterday looking to pick up the new Yankee closer…. *types Kelly into waivers box, presses Enter* Inner monologue, “Joe Kelly?! No, I don’t want him! Casey Kelly?! Blech! C’mon, this is a 15 team mixed league, I’m not in an NL-Only keeper! Someone beat me to the waiver wire? Really? For the first time in three years, I’m watching a Yankees game because nothing else is on and serendipitously David Robertson is announced with a groin strain, so there’s no way anyone beat me to the waiver wire… I’m here first, I have to be! So where’s Kelly?! Fine, I’ll click the button that shows the players that are owned too. Wait, he’s not even listed there. What in the holy name of Christ Colabello–” And that was around the time I realized his name was spelled Kelley, not Kelly and while I was misspelling it someone else swooped in and grabbed him. This has been the latest installment of Grey Albright: Are You Sure You Want To Listen To This Man? So, Robertson is out for a few weeks with a groin strain — easy on the noodes, doode! — and Shawn Kelley is your new closer in New York, and, even though yesterday was Kelley’s first career save, it doesn’t mean he can’t be successful for the next three weeks. Or unsuccessful, but I’d pick him up either way in any league. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Hiroki Kuroda – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks. Amazing how easy he throws with such solid results. He looks like he could throw with his eyes closed while listening to Baby’s First White Noise CD.

Jacoby Ellsbury – 2-for-4, 1 RBI and a caught stealing as he moved into the three hole. No real fantasy production change for him with this move to the three hole. He’ll get some more RBIs, some less runs but he’ll try to steal still, because he do what he do. As long as he’s not D’Ellsburied, you’re happy.

Ubaldo Jimenez – 4 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 13 baserunners (5 BBs), 4 Ks. More like Uballdoh. If you own Ubaldo, and he keeps going with all of those BBs, you will shoot your eye out.

J.J. Hardy – Sat out yesterday with back stiffness. He should go to a Relax, The Back Store. I recommend The Lumbardi.

Matt Moore – Left his start with elbow soreness. Rays don’t believe it’s serious, but I don’t believe the Rays. He grimaced pretty badly after his last pitch. If you ignored my advice and drafted Moore, the best thing that could’ve happened was an injury. And, in all his wisdom, The Fantasy Overlord smiled down on you and did you a solid before Moore did any solids on your team. Now you can DL him until the news comes out with how long he’s going to be sidelined. I’m guessing longer than 15 days, but shorter than back-to-back Tommy John surgeries a’la Brandon Beachy.

Ben Zobrist – 2-for-4 and a solo homer. Great if you own him, terrible if you had to watch the Bucks on the Pond commercial after his homer. Can they at least do baseball questions? Steve Yeager! Sound barrier! We know! Give it a rest!

Jason Vargas – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks. Another dynamite start from Vargas vs. the Rays, after holding the Tigers to one run in seven innings in his first start. According to the Stream-o-Nator, he gets the Twins next and that looks like a yes, please and thank you.

Omar Infante – Left the game after being hit in the jaw by a pitch. What kind of man hits an Infante?! Oh, Heath Bell. Every time a Bell flings, a Royal gets hit in the face.

Albert Pujols – 1-for-5, 1 run. I will be standing outside the Angels clubhouse with a boombox, playing Chi Ali’s Age Ain’t Nothin’ But A Number to try and psychologically empower Pujols. By the by, Chi Ali was featured on America’s Most Wanted — twice!

Kole Calhoun – 1-for-3, 3 runs and his 2nd home run. I dropped some sleeper buzz on him in the preseason, and, while he is hitting .179, I still like him a lot. You, “Oh, the Fantasy Master Lothario suggests I get Calhoun just like he suggested I draft Pujols. FML, indeed.”

Ian Stewart – 1-for-5, 1 run as he got the start at 3rd over Freese. To pithy that up, that’s the Angels going from Freese to permafrost.

C.J. Wilson – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks vs. the Asstros. I’m sure glad he bombed out in his first start so I’d drop him and not reap these benefits. I want my just desserts! Oh, and Wilson gets the Mets next, which the Stream-o-Nator is rightfully crazy about. Dah!

Yasiel Puig – His MRI showed a strained thumb ligament. I guess that’s a luigament. Mattingly said that hyPuigchondriac could still be in the lineup on Tuesday, but I get the sense Mattingly is so fed up with Puig that he wants him hurt worse. This will be an ongoing soap opera all year — As the Puig Turns.

A.J. Ellis – Will have arthroscopic knee surgery to repair a meniscus tear and will be out for six weeks. Ellis’s value is now less than zero. For a while, Ellis kept trying to tell someone he had a problem, but every time he opened his mouth, Puig called a medic. Drew Butera, Miguel Olivo and Tim Federowicz will take over behind the plate. Not all at once. That would be illegal.

Tanner Scheppers – 5 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks. He looked a whole lot better when he was Schepper’ing in his stuff for one inning late.

Seth Rosin – 1 IP, 3 ER. Perfect last name for a pitcher getting manhandled on the mound. Joe Saunders is looking to change his name to Jose Piñata.

Michael Wacha – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks vs. Tony Cingrani (4 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks). This matchup was rated NC-17, and fantasy baseballers thought it was due to the likelihood of multiple fantasy baseball orgasms from the two pitchers upsides, but it turned out that it was from profanity used during Cingrani’s start.

Eduardo Nunez – The Twins acquired him to provide infield depth, and I could see him stealing at-bats away from The Jamaican Shoe Store, Florimon. This is a standard small market move of ‘throw enough crizzap against the clubhouse wall and something eventually sticks.’ In fact, that’s kinda how the entire Twins team is built.

A.J. Griffin – Doing strengthening work and is still about a month away. If only we could get Merry Clayton to sing “about a month away.”

Ryan Cook – 1 IP, 0 ER, 2 Ks as he was activated from the DL. Don’t see the A’s replacing Jim Johnson any time soon, so Cook is merely a middle relief ratio helper. Just thought of something, we need a glossary term for a middle reliever who is just rock solid in ratios/Ks, and you own for that purpose, without even caring if he gets into the save picture. Like the $12 Salad of middle relievers. Please suggest in the comments.

Coco Crisp – Sat out yesterday due to wrist inflammation, but received a cortisone shot and will return on Wednesday to hit 17 homers in his first at-bat back. I’m only half kidding. The Lily Tomlin half.

Craig Gentry – Expected to rejoin the A’s this week to work as a 4th outfielder. Gentry has some nice speed, but you’ll need to platoon him. Though he makes it difficult because he doesn’t have a strong side as seen on the Platoony Tunes chart.

Scott Kazmir – 6 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners (4 BBs), 5 Ks vs. the Twins. Not a terrific start, but he escaped relatively okay against a Twins team that was swinging hot bats. Watch out for Colabello, he will fizz-spray sucrose and phony caramel flavoring in yo’ face! “Plouffe is the Mentos in our Colabello!” That’s Gardenhire firing up the Twins fans who wear leg sweaters.

Jed Lowrie – Left yesterday’s game after getting hit in the foot by a pitch. When the pitch was coming in, his kinfolk said, ‘Jed, move away from there!’ but he didn’t in time.

Alberto Callaspo – 2-for-4, 1 RBI, hitting .444 on the year. He’s regularly Callaspoo, but does get hot occasionally and it looks like now is one of those times.

Josh Donaldson – 2-for-5, 2 runs. Josh Donald Jr. is hitting .161 so far and I say drop him! I’m kidding; it’s early. The panic in some people’s comments is good comic relief, like Robin Williams, Billy Crystal and Whoopi shticking it up and making you want to commit third degree manslaughter like the owner of Pinkberry.

Derek Norris – 2-for-4 and a solo homer. Not much to see here. Though there’s is a lot to see with John Norris becoming the Single White Female version of Kevin Bacon. “If you don’t want to watch The Notebook, I will call up John Norris!” That’s Kyra Sedgwick threatening Kevin.

4th year into my dynasty league as an expansion team.
3rd year following you….I’m ready for a championship.
Today is my birthday, so I’m hoping I can get a nice little break down of what Grey would do with my roster. A roster that Grey basically built…

Lord Black Beard, Head of the the House of Beardsays:
April 8, 2014 at 12:21 am (link)

Lord Albright, Head of the House of Stache:

I’m regretting not drafting Tulowitski over McCutchen…But I have faith that McClutchen will give me a 20/20 season with 100 runs and idk, 70 rbi’s and throw in a hadski. That would be enough in exchange for the 4th pick in the first sentence.

In other news, here is my team in a 10 man H2H standard points league. On a scale from 1 to 10, what is sayeth your rating good sir!

@My Minor Likes Female Pujols: Actually he’s only missed more than “half a year” once in his career, and he’s still a top 2-3 SS when he’s missed a quarter of the year in the past. Who else is getting you 25-30 Homers at a .290 average in 500 ABs? If he even hits 140 games he’s the top SS in baseball by a wide margin unless HanRam tears it up. In Roto that’s still valuable, and as long as that injury doesn’t come right at the end of the year, he’s still crazy valuable in H2H.

Injury mythology is starting to get a little silly. If you take it as a given that he’ll only play 125-130 games, you are still getting potentially the best power-avg option at Short for 3/4 of the year. Pair that with Brad Miller for MI and to take SS if Tulo sees time on the DL and you have the best SS stats in the league at a lower price than HanRam went for in the draft. If he plays 140+ games, you are killing your league at a rebate.

@Wake Up: I picked up Paxton for a stream even if SON does not like him. I don’t know why given he smoked the Angels in LA the first time around. Now he gets to do it at home with an even friendlier pitcher park. SON you are a fickle bitch.

Seriously though. Other than more pictures (or GIFs!) of your mustache, you need to have J.B. do pitcher profiles twice a week! He’s giving us sacks full of candy, while tehol hands out dum dums. Trim the fat, let’s do this! This could be pretty lucrative with more of the good stuff…

so some in my league droped billy butler, a carrer 290 hitter i couldnt let sit on the wire so i had to drop kole calhoun to get. did i make a mistake? should i pick him pack up after re passes waviers?

I got offered a trade where I give up Edwin Encarnacion and I get back Sandoval , Eaton and Clay Buchholz. Its a one year only league which has Total Bases and OBP as extra categories.
I do have Wright at 3B already.
But I will have a problem dropping a players . I will need to drop Smoak and Jenrry Mejia.
What should I do Grey??

The Jed line was great. I lost out on Kelley in both big money leagues. What time do you post this EST. I checked at 4AM they got there man at midnite. What alerts on a phone do people have? Thanks razzballers

what’s up with yr tainted love for lyles? forget about his 3/3 performance with 2RBI and a double? d00de had some serious wood tonight; like megan fox. tomorrow i’m selling all my rapala shallow divers and adding lyles as my 4th outfielder, assignment be damned! and next week me and my pal wesley snipes are going on a man-cation to siberia with only ninja stars. he always gets the yips when we’re bear hunting… oh, wesley!

In a 20 team league would you trade RP Casilla for 2b Espinosa? the Nats could move Zimmerman to first base this year (Rendon to 3rd, Espinosa to 2nd). That would displace LaRoche and I can’t see them sitting LaRoche but it’s possible Zimmerman can’t remain at 3rd any longer. Thx!

Grey and all Razzballers, I think you will get a kick out of this team I had to autodraft this weekend when an emergency called me out of town. I learned 2 things: 1) you can’t draft on a iPhone 2) In order to pre-set your draft list, you need to be logged in as the owner of the team, not as someone just observing who’s logged in as the owner of another team in another league. I feel your Kelley pain!

The computers decided to wait until Round 20 to begin selecting my last 5 pitchers, and gave me 3 sweet catchers. I still love this wackified team.

so before the season started I had Nathan,Qualls and Hawkins as my closers.someone offered me Gio for Nathan so I had to take it.I figured I would have plenty of opportunities to grab a couple random guys.and now Ive missed out on KRod,Linstrom,Valverde,Soria ,Hoover and now Kelley,all by less than an hr.
anyway,its a 5×5 league.I have Abreu,Trumbo,Jones,Bruce,Crawford,Eaton and Crawford at 1B/OF.It w ould be bad to trade Cuddyer for an Axford/ Soria type clser,right?

This is actually the new trend. so many skimp on saves at the draft, the competition gets crazy.

In all 3 leagues i am in, Kelley was picked up before the end of the Yankees game. Most set up men with a good chance to close at some point are owned in 2 of those leagues (broxton, allen, henderson, ect).

How bout butterfaces..
You know MRs have really good features, nice curves, tig ol’ bitties, but then you see they get you no saves.
You’ll hook up with one be ause you know you get that sweet finish but you have to do it doggy.

Or mopeds…
Like fat chicks. Fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to see them on your roster.

Here was my update in the ECFBL on the Robertson/Kelly saga..,
“The drama started a bit before 5:00 PM EST, when Shawn Kelley garnered the close. I didn’t think much of this, Fred picked him up as a flier, and soon dropped him, I was not thinking much of this either, both of us believing that Robertson didn’t get the save because he needed a day off. We were both off the mark, not having access to the Closer Tweet that would have told us to pick up Kelley, as Nate was placed on the DL. And I did not watch the Michael Kay show because my wife can’t stand him – I’m not a big fan either – but I would have found out that Nate was on the DL, and picked up Kelley. But our Kelly noticed, and Kelly picked up first Thornton as a back up to the back up, but he went bug-eye when he saw Fred then drop Kelley, then Kelly picked up Kellye, but late this evening, meaning to drop Webb, Kelly dropped Kelley, and stone cold sober was he, and within 6 minutes Fred picked again picked him up. There, I think that I have it right!.” And that’s me quoting me!

@Paulie Allnuts: Yankees fan at my work comes over to me at around 5PM EST telling me Robertson was hurt and I should grab Kelley. I had a really busy day and couldn’t keep my eye on things, but I told him no chance in hell he will be there in my leagues. Little did I know he had been picked up and dropped and picked up again!

Guy offers me Weaver for Calhoun… drops Weaver 2 days later. Got a roster spot opening with Robertson DL. Although I hate Weaver I feel like I should use my number 1 waiver on him… If it were you would you use it or wait for other people to get sick of better pitchers?

“Just thought of something, we need a glossary term for a middle reliever who is just rock solid in ratios/Ks, and you own for that purpose, without even caring if he gets into the save picture. Like the $12 Salad of middle relievers. Please suggest in the comments.”

Re: Craig Gentry
I was trying to figure out how the A’s were going to platoon Gentry as well, and while looking at his stats I noticed something interesting-he steals more bases against LHP vs RHP (30 vs . 26).
Most base stealers steal 3x as many bases again RHP.

Love the platoony tunes thing. I actually have an unusual “tritoon” I am trying this year with Morneau, Neil Walker, and Jeff Baker.

We could call them MEN OF HONOR
-for some reason as soon as grey asked I pictured Robert DeNiro as Masterchief Billy Sunday

“The Middle Reliever is not a fighting man, he is a salvage expert. If it’s bases loaded in the 7th he K’s hitters . If the ship look sunk, he brings it up. If it’s in the way, he moves it. If he’s lucky, he will die young, after striking out the side, 60 feet 6 inches from the plate, and owned by almost 13% of Yahoo! Users, for that is the closest he’ll ever get to being a hero.” “I WANT MY 12!!! (K/9 that is)

@the big lipowski: Mejia is a former top prospect with good K numbers when he was healthy, not so great control. he pitches in metco so that at least makes his home starts streamable…but his next starts are @ ATL, @Ari, STL, Mia, @Col…youre better off streaming starts unless its 14 teams or deeper, hes pretty likely to have a couple bad starts coming up.

For the glossary, I suggest calling a ratio-helping MR who should stay on your roster…

…a “Hold Steady.” You’re not looking to drop this RP off on the corner after just one drama-free night with a couple of Ks, Xs, and Os… you don’t want to share those numbers with some other pick-up artist in a couple of days… you want to keep that arm around (you) awhile.

Plus, even though Razzball leagues don’t use holds (which I hate in fantasy leagues – whole ‘nother rant, ‘nother time), most folks know what RP qualities that term implies, so working that into the term means less ‘splaining to do, Lucy!

Random thoughts….I dropped Moustakas and rolling with Gyorko as my only 3B due to needs elsewhere…c’mon Jerko get a hit soon I want to see you in Grey’s update tomorrow with something good to say about me. No you!

Traded Pujols and Matt Moore for AJackson and Shelby Miller on Saturday. My leaguemate accused me of being a “witchdoctor” needless to say I put a needle into my Clayton Kershaw voodoo doll’s back just for my leaguemate.

Any the who! It’s a points league valuing pitchers pretty heavy with a +8 QS. I picked up Chris Owings and Paxton and another leaguemate wanted to trade Brad Miller for Paxton. Thoughts? I can still pick up Nate Eovaldi!!

So many great match ups for my hitters today… Problem with two elite 1b and 3b is only 1util slot so someone gets benched… Who would you sit: abreu, hosmer, longoria, wright… Leaning towards Hosmer, hittertron seems to say Longoria, but he’s been good lately…

Morning Grey.. I was gonna pickup Vargas so I have him for his next start cause the stream o netor says he’s playing on Sunday vs MIN but I counted the games and the 5th game is next week on the 15th vs HOU. I just wanted to know if you see the same as me cause you don’t count days you count games right..? If you counted days then they would have to skip a pitcher to get him on Sunday. I just don’t want to grab him if he’s not pitching this week

@serch: If you both reached a trade agreement and the trade was accepted by both parties and is processing you should let it ride. I’d have a bigger problem with an owner who vetoed his own trade then with any actual trade two players might make. That’s my two farthings.

@serch: If you were the one who traded Moore away it simply shows you have heart. :) I’m like that too. I’ve made trades where the guy I traded away got hurt a day or two later and I have offered to undo the trade or to trade the players back. We just hate to feel like we screwed someone over even though there was no guile or malice intended. You certainly aren’t obligated to do that – at all! Other guys in the same situation love to gloat that they got over on a trade. It depends on who you are. Most fantasy players would probably just say too bad for the other guy but the trade stands because you can’t predict the future. And if it’s a public league where you don’t know the people personally? Meh – count your lucky stars.

@Hawk: thanks Hawk…that was my initial reaction when i heard the news on Moore… I would certainly never ask that a trade be undone if a guy I received happened to get hurt…but still, these pangs of conscience are getting stronger…

FMy team is posted below, what do you see as it’s biggest gaps? I have a free slot now, my options are:
another bat–Owing, Wong, or someone dropped Rosario–but it’d be a backup and complicate my UTIL slot
Another starter– Eovaldi or Pineda–but as much as I love both, my SP doesn’t seem to need help
Biggest gap seems closers, but options are weak: Kelley, Broxton, Santos, Fields…

Here’s more information about Kolten Wong because no one else gives a crap but me.

He was moved to eighth in the order again. Much of his appeal is that he was hitting second in the Cards lineup. This has been the third time this year he’s batted eighth but each time has been against a lefty who Wong has lesser splits against.

If he continues to bat second against righties I’ll stick with him. If he starts batting eighth against everyone then it HAS to be drop city if an Ackley or even an Uggla is out there. I hate saying such things.

I’m rolling with Rendon/Arenado/Smoak on the bench with Miller/Abreu/Pujols/Frazier usually starting. My question, I wanna drop one for some SAGNOF Santos or Broxton, but who do I drop? I feel most solid at 1B, but im not sure if Smoak is a hot schmotatoe or too legit to drop

@Hawk: It’s not a keeper, but I have Miller at SS and like the insurance of Rendon on the bench just incase he doesn’t pan out. Might just stand pat, I have Rosenthal/Perky Perkins/Krod/Balfour already

Verlander
Lee
Cain
Gonzalez
Teheran
Masterson
cobb
Jansen
Grilli
rodney
valverde
dl- Robertson
I know its early but where should I look to upgrade? I know a few of these guys will get going soon enough but looking at the long haul where should I strengthen? Thanks grey!

I got offered Johnny Cueto for Bonifacio in a 10-team mixed h2h. I own Villar, Dee Gordon, Wong, and Rendon, so my bench hitters are two of these mid-infidels every day. My SPs are Sale, Wacha, Gio, Alex Wood, Estrada, Erasmo, Yordano, and Eovaldi (Fister and Hamels on the DL). Should I make the move and is it irrational to think Boni is the best of that MI bunch? +Cueto’s injuries concerns…

/sees Razzball article listing about 50 guys
//scans article for the mere mention of someone, anyone on his last place team like Gyorko, Fielder, Marte, Frieri, Votto, etc
///only guy he has is Puig
////slowly closes laptop
/////cries

Any chance the Hittertron and Streamonator will get an option to lock in a roster or sync with your leagues so you don’t have to enter the players manually? I love the tool, would love it even more if I didn’t have to enter players each day. Thanks!

Since Ramos left my team like Wilson left Tom hanks on that vacation in the south Pacific, I have been stuck searching for coconuts with Yasmani Grandal as my backstop. Would I be better off standing on the shoulders of Mesoraco?

I just looked up The Wikipedias in webcrawler on my intertubes. It seems Tommy John surgery is relegated to mostly white dudes from the US. Yeah – I know Soria had it twice, A. Sanchez had it, I think Rafael Soriano had it. But, what the hell? There is a veritable….rash of TJs? Beachy, Medlen, Parnell, Jarrod Parker, now maybe Matt Moore. Smoltzy had it. Matt Harvey. Stras. AJ Burnett. Whatever we are doing to our kids in the US system isn’t working. Or is this surgery all over the place in Latin America too but they call it “Anibal Sanchez” surgery? Or “did you hear? Miguel Sano needs “the dirty sanchez”?

I am being offered Moss for my Miller. If I have Everth and Hill as SS and 2B, do I pull the trigger on this? With OF of Rios, Heyward, and Gordon, maybe it’s good to add another power hitter to the team? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Miller has power for a MI guy. I think he’s projected to hit 15 HR. Moss is projected for 28.

Over the course of the season, you’re really dealing for 12 HR while losing out on 40 points (or more) on Batting Average. I wouldn’t do that trade. If Miller was a keeper for me, there’s no way I would do that trade.

I’d hate to equate it this way…but the difference in miggy and freeman this year could be 15/12/35/0/.040…..is that worth gambling on kershaw right now? Because if we find out that kershaw is back may 1st with no issues than the deal gets shut down.

@Principal Blackman: Right…Also just to add…Grey has repeatedly said to stay away from him to commenters this year and said he wasn’t draftng him…I traded him for Tanaka based off his advice and JB’s b4 season started once he was auto picked for me…I feel pretty good now.

@Principal Blackman: Right, so obviously don’t reach for that tier. But Grey had him ranked so much higher than ADP and other pros, that in the 10th round of many drafts, Grey’s 17th ranked pitcher is still available.

I went all in on Pujols this year… drafting him in multiple leagues. I also went in on JHamilton and thats working out a lot better so far. All I can say is bjhgsfdiu27yhbdp0a.sjfiujfss… oh sorry I was crossing my fingers. All i can say is at least he seems healthy. Lets all h$%pbikdbsldun97 and EFGYI&G*&GRo9jncnaas he turns it around.

After one week I am in 12th place in 4 out of 4 12-team leagues. I feel like this could actually be a good omen for all of my teams. Last year, in one league I was in 12th place for most of April. By May 7th or 8th I was in first place, a position I did not relinquish until early September, when I fell to second, where I finished. AAGNOF (April Ain’t Got No Face)

Nolasco is probably an ok swap, but just to provide a moment of sanity….Jason Vargas has a career 4.62 xFIP, a 5.85 k/9 rate, and a career WHIP of 1.31. We’re not exactly talking fantasy gold. It’s highly likely that this is his high watermark for the year and you’re going to get the regression back to his career norms.

There’s probably a little something to that. Good park, solid defensively. They were first in the AL last year in starter runs allowed per game and second in starter innings per game behind Det. One thing you hear from people inside and out of Royals locker room is the unbelievable influence of James Shields on the whole team and the pitching staff in general. He’s credited with an almost single-handed culture change in KC and that could not have been an easy thing to do. Big Game James.

They’ve gotten pretty nice work out of Bruce Chen too. So we’ll keep an eye on it but it’s a fair point JFOH.

I swear, every year, no matter who I pick, all my closers go down or have bad years. I owned Parnell, Jones, Robertson, and Henderson. W.T.F. Looks like I’ll be punting saves again this year in both leagues! Took 1st last year punting saves so what ev.

Hey Grey (and Razz people) how early is it? Shin Soo Choo is hitting lefties better than righties as of today! Now THAT’S early!

The classic Fireman of yesterday is like our $12 MR, but Fireman is just not fun enough so in honor of nick moving to the US I say call them the Hoser!

Any chance I can plug the awesome Harvey Keitel I will and will call them the PenWolf…..WolfPen….ReliefWolf….anythehoo, I just wanted to use the Wolf character from Pulp Fiction because like those great MR’s we need a fixer.

I think the most solid MR over the years has been Luke Gregerson, an awesome MR who most of us never thought had a serious chance at closing because when he did he was awful, but always brought great ratio assistance. I can’t come up with a play on words with his name yet…need coffee

In honor of the great Luke Gregerson, Gregorian Reform which had to deal with changes to correct the Calender year introduced by pope Gregory to correct the celebration of Easter as it coincides….oh forget it, this is boring ass stuff. Gregorian Reform is my last pitiful attempt

Was offered Linecum for my Axford. My only other two closers are Kimbrel (rd 7 keeper) and KROD. I’m tempted to accept banking on an eventual Axford demotion. Dickey, Gallardo, Fister, Huddy, Straily, M. Perez are my other Sps. Eovaldi and Skaggs available via FA. 14 team head to head. THoughts?

I don’t understand why some of you even play fantasy when you have to ask who should I bench, who should I play, should I drop him, pick him up? No wonder the divorce rate is skyrocketing! Cue October, some guy will show up blaming razz for losing hehe :-)

@Bi-Felicia: It’s a symptom of the availability of information coupled with the idea that if someone appears to know what the hell they’re doing, many people (readers) will assume that they (the reader and advice-seeker) are somehow in the dark w/r/t this information. Add to that the fact that there is such a wealth of FB advice columns, the fantasy baseball player (and reader) becomes more disposed to cases of neurosis, anxiety, and rosterbating.

“Wow, player A looks really promising! Oh, wait, but so does player B! So much upside…”

“Player C is vastly underperforming, and Player D just got bumped up to the 2-hole, but I really need a closer and setup man A looks like he’s about to pounce”

You also have the H alluding to “hold”, the “preparation” alluding to the fact that he’s some kind of set-up guy, and the fact that you need anal medicine at all suggests that you are being bent over the sink by your the rest of your pitching staff. I’m resonating on at least three or four levels here. Whaddaya think?

Man, what is with some of these managers this year? You’ve got a guy that’s hit a HR in 4 straight games and you’re batting him 6th so Martin freaking Prado can hit clean-up? Clearly stupidity knows no bounds. We need to get on e-mailing all managers your “How to Fill Out a Lineup Card” ASAP.

Here’s an acronym, SPAM, that food in a can that has some strange appeal but you never want to touch it. They’re solid pitchers and only get noticed when they screw up.
Solid Pitchers, Always Maligned.

I know there’s the whole “be patient” thing, but I feel like I’m wasting my time with guys like Carl Crawford and/or Avisail Garcia. What’s your thoughts on guys currently on my waiver wire, like Blackmon or Ackley?

I’ve been offered Brandon Belt for Leonys Martín. I’ve already got Goldschmidt and Fielder, and trading away Martin would put me short on OF, but I’m still tempted to pull the trigger given Belt’s promise.

Love the show, man! On Monday, I was offered Braun for Bailey. I accepted immediately but regretted it immediately and sent a message to my league’s commissioner to try to cancel the trade. Of course, around about midnight last night the trade went through (only 2 objections). Now, of course, the former owner of Braun wants me to trade Braun back to him. Asking for advice. My ideas to resolve the issue are as follows.

1. Do nothing (finder’s keeper’s).
2. Trade him back Braun but for an upgrade since his value has ‘literally’ gone up over night.
3. Trade him back Braun for Bailey (least preferred for me, doesn’t seem right now.).

He has Stanton (have Pence, Gomez and Bautista in OF), AuSchitt (have Davis), Scherzer (would be a serious upgrade in SP) and Kimbrel (he can’t give up Kimbrel and most likely never will – drafted in the 5th round) as the only bonafide Tier 1 players, Liriano, Desmond (have Tulo, do not need SS) and Santana (have Rosario not interested in adding Santana) in Tier 2.

You know how the Chinese steal everything from us (I say from us as a proud Canadian who watched helplessly as the government allowed a Chinese ‘student’ to intern and then steal the blackberry (a Canadian invention) and then re-sell it as the redberry in China for 1/1000000th of the cost of a blackberry)? How about this steal? The new hollywood rom-com…The Right Kind of Wong!!!