Apparently, A-Rod’s got a bucket list (get creative with letter replacements for b) that he wrote when he was 15 years old. Madonna, check. Cameron Diaz, check. Christie Brinkley, check. “I wonder if Phoebe Cates will come to my pool party.” To spice things up, he puts on Betamax copies of Skinemax movies. “Oh, Emmanuelle…” Who needs Derek Jeter’s rejects when you can have Mickey Rourke’s? So with the media circus surrounding Jeter’s 3000 hit, Rudy and I both couldn’t make it out to The House They Built Next To The House Ruth Built, but we were able to send Keith Morrison of Dateline. “Hello, I’m Keith Morrison of Dateline. It’s in this small, bucolic town, the South Bronx, that Alex Rodriguez calls home. Everything seemed right in the world this weekend. The famed Yankee captain, Derek Jeter, did what no other Yankee had done before, but quietly in the corner of the clubhouse something was brewing below the surface — A-Rod’s knee and his love of cougars.” A-Rod is going to miss the next 6 weeks or so with knee surgery. If you’re wondering if your team will be all right without his power, look at his stats for the last month. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Paul Maholm – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks. Now has a season ERA of 2.96. Has helped me remove some of the odor from dropping Anibal the first week of the season.

Pedro Alvarez – It’s a cruel twist of fate when you draft someone, they suck, get injured and then sadly you leave them on your DL for two months hoping they’ll turn their season around when they return only to be demoted. Unfortunately, the cruelness won’t end there because I’ll probably draft him again next year. Alvarez, please use an alternate route than Ian Stewart.

Jake Peavy – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER. There’s guys like Luebke on your waivers and you continue to roll out Peavy. That there is why you’re losing. Sorry, it’s Tough Love Time with Grey Albright. Our next guest will be the guy who still has Pedro Alvarez on his team. Wait, that’s me. No, tables, don’t turn!

Adam Dunn – Hit a homer on Friday and that’s it all weekend. They should put him in the Home Run Derby so we can see our first strikeout.

Jordan Zimmermann – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks. Didn’t say I didn’t like him when I said to sell him on Friday. Don’t put words in mouth, you know I don’t like that. Now eat your vegetables.

Carlos Gonzalez – Headed for an MRI on Monday. Wait, that’s today? Unless you’re in New Zealand — weirdos! If it’s bad news about the CarGo MRI, I give you permission to cry if A) You own him. B) You’re a Rockies fan. C) There’s no C.

Jhoulys Chacin – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks. Here’s what I said after his last start, “Hopefully he’ll start to turn things around again. Just putting that out into the universe. It’s the secret.” It works! Now if I could win the lottery… Wink-wink, Universe. Are you listening? BTW, speaking of having more money than you know what to do with, I was watching Real Sports the other day and they had a segment on Saadi Gaddafi. He threw his money around to get on a professional soccer team and, even though he was worse than a high school player, no one said anything because he could have them killed. Then he hired the shamed Olympic gold medalist, Ben Johnson, to teach him how to run. I won’t give away the whole thing, but seek it out. It’s brilliant.

Mark Trumbo – 4 homers in the last five games to bring his season tally to 17. I actually find it more surprising that the Sciosciapath hasn’t decided to randomly bench him for Jeff Mathis or Maicer Izturis.

Eric Thames -3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 4th home run. Nice of Bautista to let him carry the home run conch shell for one day.

Brett Cecil – 6 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks. I will now pick him up in every league and potentially bench him for his next start, depending on the matchup. It’s all about the dangling modifier. That’s what she said!

Wandy Rodriguez – 5 1/3 IP, 5 ER. The Wandwagon has come off the tracks three of the last four starts. He’s around a 3.50 ERA pitcher and his season ERA sits at 3.52. So I guess he’ll now shave off that .02, and that’s my two cents.

Emilio Bonifacio – 3-for-3 with 3 steals. Now has 5 steals in his last 3 games. Emily Boneface isn’t just an awkwardly translated name, it’s a steals machine. BTW, I wonder if Josh’s brother, Gosh Johnson, ever did any scenes with Emily Boneface.

Chase Utley – 2-for-4 with 2 steals. Now has 8 steals and 4 homers. Didn’t he have knee problems? So now he’s a speedster with little power? I’m more confused by what he’s doing this season than Charlie Manuel watching Jeopardy.

Raul Ibanez – 2-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 2nd homer this weekend. Giraffe’s gestation period is shorter than it took Ibanez to get hot, but he’s there now. Actually, I looked at Ibanez in one league last week and wish I grabbed him, but I got William Shatner finger and I….just…couldn’t….pick…him…up.

Dontrelle Willis – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners (4 BBs), 4 Ks. You’re only looking at him because he was good like five years ago.

Francisco Cordero – Who was the one who went into the bathroom and forget to flush? *Cordero blushes.* Dusty would be one of the slower managers to react to a faltering closer, but CoCo is doing everything in his power to make him flinch. You can handcuff with Aroldis, who should be owned anyway.

Mark Reynolds – Should be fine after being hit on the hand by a Weiland pitch. Supposedly, Weiland was mad Reynolds compared him to Eddie Vedder.

Nate Schierholtz – 4-for-4 on Sunday, hitting near .400 over the last week. With a last name that is German for pantyhose, you’d think he’d generate more excitement for me. He just doesn’t give huge power or speed.

Javy Guerra – Got two saves this weekend. Looks like he’s officially won the job of Dodgers closer, which is like beating conjoined twins in a race to put on pants.

Ted Lilly – 5 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks. He’s been like the NL Liriano and Scherzer, so it pains me to point out Lilly was solid after the break last year (3.17 ERA).

Andre Ethier – 2 homers. Now on pace for 17 homers. No wonder Kemp pulls all the ladies.

David Wright – Supposed to start a rehab assignment on Wednesday. Mets said he should be back sometime in July. They failed to mention what year.

As ticket holders, and Yankee fans, my wife and I are understandably dejected by Mariano Rivera, Derek Jeter, and Alex Rodriguez not making the trip. We shelled out good money for the tickets ($750 for a pair, including the Futures Game, Home Run Derby, and All-Star game in a package, which is face value for everything). We had to buy gasoline to make the drive from Tucson, Arizona to Phoenix ($50 – $100). We are staying in a modest hotel for 2 nights at $85 per night. Plus dining, and you’re looking at about $1,200 total.
Mariano Rivera is our favorite player. Derek Jeter is perhaps the most recognizable player in the game. A-Rod is a marquee talent and one of the game’s best sluggers. Understanding the legitimate nature of Alex’s injury, the fact that Jeter just came off the shelf with a calf strain, and that Mariano has some discomfort in his pitching arm does mollify our disappointment. However, the fact that these players will not be available to sign autographs or at least appear at the game is disappointing. Only A-Rod, who is having surgery on Monday, has a legitimate excuse not to attend. CC Sabathia is taking a vacation to the Bahamas. Suffice to say, I regret purchasing the tickets, because the expectations of who we would actually see have been dashed by the ability of players to beg out of the commitment to attending and playing in the game. Finally, as a Yankee fan, I will say that I admire the commitment to winning the American League East, and contending for a title, but it’s just disappointing. Kevin Youkilis, who is a gamer, gladly represented when called to serve. I’ll be rooting for Youk Tuesday night, just wishing that Mariano would be called upon in a save situation instead of whomever else Ron Washington summons from the bullpen.
Grey, am I a Schmohawk? Thoughts on this All-Star debacle in Phoenix?

Grey, I presume you think its time to dump Peavy in favor of almost anyone?

What do you think about Johan Santana as a DL stash?

Same question on Ike Davis and Tabata.

I already have Hosmer (and your favorite player, Butler) so I don’t really have room for Davis, but he was great for me earlier this year so if he comes back strong I’d hate to let someone else grab him.

I’m also considering picking up Chapman despite the fact I’m not in a league with holds. His K rate has been insane so just for the ratio help and Ks he could help. I currently have 8 starters and 2 closers.

Grey:do you trust Bumgarner at this point?….I look at his numbers and see that he has given up 2 runs or less in 8/10 starts,and of course the K stats are very appealing.however,his WHIP is terrible and his BAA is around .280.Not to mention the weak ass offense behind him,so not many W’s either.I already have Felix,Ubaldo,Beachy,Norris,so I dont NEED the K’s. 10 team h2h 8×8 keeper league,is he worth pursuing?

Arod’s getting surgery today so when will NY put him on the DL? Is Nunez now a decent SS option instead of the WW guys I have offered like Bonifacio, both Escobars, Furcal, and Nishioka? (I currently own E Aybar but he hasn’t been running much and I need speed)

-Rookies that come up and have a great second half and then celebrate their respective call-ups by eating enough to gain in pounds, the amount of homeruns they are expected to hit, will disappoint.(see Sandoval, Alvarez)

– Do NOT leave the first 2 rounds of any draft without a 1B! Do NOT put your season in the hands of any Canadians. While they are extremely friendly, they are not dependable and when cornered or when any faith is placed upon them, they tend to react in an unpredictable way.
NOTEa- Votto seems to be immune from this Canadian affliction so far. But, according to some guys “I got working on it,” it appears that he was most likely born in Kenya and not Canada.
NOTEb- Look what has happened to Bautista in his brief stint “up there.”

Grey, I thought you were going to express outrage if the Rays failed to call up Desmond Jennings by July 1st. It’s July 11th. 11th! And he’s still floundering in Durham (though I hear he has a bruised finger). You think he’ll be up post-All Star break?

I give: Andrus/Heyward/Anibal
I receive: Tulo/MadBum/my choice of Pena, or some other decent options.

I have an assload of steals (Kemp, Krispie, Bourn, CarGo, Espinosa), so losing Andrus wouldn’t be too bad. Plus I would gain the power and occasional steals of Tulo. Do it like it’s going out of style?

Dynasty points league — I’ve been offered Berkman and Heath Bell for Marcum, Cozart, Harang, and Mitchell Boggs. Berkman would replace Valencia (I have both Morneau and Ike Davis), and Marcum’s spot would be taken by some combo of Scherzer/Dickey/Luebke. What do you think?

On 2nd thought, after looking over Liriano’s starts all season again, I’m finally coming to grips with cutting him loose. For every start that he flirts with a no no against Texas, he has a 5 walk – 3 hit batter short outing. He’s too wildly inconsistent (no pun intended – well, ok it sort of was) to trust to send out to the mound for multiple starts in any given week.

If I didn’t draft him as my 1st pitcher with such high hopes, he probably would have been in the rearview mirror a month ago. With decent options on my waiver wire, it’s time to send him packing.

I’m trying to trade Lawrie for some pitching depth. He’ll cost me $1 to keep for next year vs trading him away for some pitching talent which I need. Having said that – would you trade him for Masterson or Kuroda if possible?

@Grey: really? I thought it was pretty solid. Does it make any difference that I wouldn’t be keeping Heyward or Andrus, but would be keeping Tulo? My keepers for next year would be Fielder, Tulo, Longo, Kemp, CarGo.

OK. This is a tough trade to decide on. As I’ve mentioned, have 4 closers in my 6×6 h2h league, Street, marmol, Paps and farnsworth. I can do the following trade: I give Street and Trumbo, and get Berkman. What do you think?

@Grey: I would most likely keep him. If you think it’s a shizz deal, then I won’t do it. I’m in 2nd and the guy I’m attempting to deal with is in last. So I don’t want to jeopardize my chances for this season.

Grey: given Haren’s 2nd half history, would it be too much to trade him and Castro for Halladay? or should I do it ? (Strudel cabrera’s my starting SS, and I have prado coming off DL to take castro’s place at IF). 6×6 h2h.

Here’s my what kind of tree would you be question, Grey. If you could play any position in MLB, what would you chose? Being Panda sized, if think I’d be suited to RF or 1B, hopefully near an occasionally cute ball girl.

@AdamH: here’s a question: can you swap Pujols in over Votto in any of the trades? I would slightly devalue Pujols in a no-time-limit keeper league over Votto, simply because of age. I would do Crawford/Kershaw for Pujols/Gordon OR J-Up/Timmy for Pujols/Gordon. I would not do any deal with Votto in it and I would not do J-Up/Timmy for Pujols/Krispie. But that’s just my opinion.

@AdamH: I agree with Wilsonian to sub Pujols in for Votto. If #1 and #2 are the same team, you could try a Pujols/Gordon for J-Up/Kershaw swap. If not, sub Gordon in for Krispie on the second deal and see if it works. J-Up has roughly the same value as Votto going forward, IMO. It depends on how you value those guys though.

@AdamH: I’d prefer something like what Big Magoo said. I like J-Up more than Crawford, but I still think Crawford could be keeper worthy. Before his injury he had exploded, so I think there’s more of that Crawford, rather than the first month and a half of the season Crawford.

@Grey: Haha! I thought for sure he called you that, could be mistaken…I kinda like it for you though….just as Owen Meany was put on this earth for an incredibly specific purpose, so too has Grey Albright (to help fantasy baseballers)

Javier Vazquez’s fastball has been over 90 MPH for six straight starts, and he has 10 unintentional walks in his last 52 innings.

Not saying he’s going to duplicate 2009 in the second half, but there are plenty of signs that he’s turning it around. Plus he now has Mike Cameron in CF. If you’re in a 12 (or more) team league and he’s unowned, jump in.

The Pirates and Angels had serious discussions about a trade that would have sent Garrett Jones to Anaheim for Jeff Mathis, according to Jon Paul Morosi and Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports. However, the Pirates decided to keep Jones instead of pursuing talks further.

Rodriguez underwent successful surgery on his injured right knee Monday, reports the Newark Star-Ledger.
Spin:
Rodriguez will miss up to 4-6 weeks in recovery. His initial rehab will be done in Florida, and at his age (36) he could need an extra few days than someone in their physical prime.

Jones will have surgery Saturday on his injured right knee and will not travel to Phoenix for the All-Star Game, the Mark Bowman of MLB.com reports.
Spin:
Jones has a meniscus tear in his right knee. Earlier reports said surgery likely will keep him out 3-4 weeks. No timetable has been confirmed yet, however.

(chipper is 3 years and 3 months older than a-rod.)

the betting window is now open , on who will be the 1st player to return
to game action .