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Bridezilla Rant...the bride giving outragous demands

So I am a bride to be and so is one of my bridesmaids as well. As her wedding approches (Oct 11) she is become more of a bridezilla and some of her demands are becoming to much.

She is having a destination wedding in Clearwater Beach, Fl on Oct 11. She already has made the demands that we stay at the same place she is which is somewhat expensive and also requires a week stay in order to book which we have to pay for ourselves. She also wanted us all to get the same dress and the dress she picked was about $250. On top of that now she is requiring us to go to this place down there that does hair and make up and it's literally almost over $100 for that which is a estimate depending on hair length...which is mine is some what long so the lady said mine might be about $125 (once again...pay for ourselves)

After having to pay for all of this she made a comment and worded it as "I would like to treat you ladies to a spa day when we are down there one day! It's a bridal party package and I feel you ladies deserve it". Now maybe it is just me and the other bridesmaids but when you hear this it makes it sound like she is paying for this "spa day". After we all agreed to it after reading the text we recieved we come find out that this package is almost $250 per girl since it includes mani, pedi, massage, facials, and eyebrow and brazilian wax. When another bridesmaid decided to say thank you for getting us that package since it was very expensive...she looked at her with a confused look and said "what are you talking about...you all are on your own for paying for your alls. I am just paying for mine." Word travels fast and soon after this comment was made...we all back out of the spa thing. Bride threw a fit and said either we go to this spa day or we are out of the wedding....

I am also a bride to be and moving out in a month. It has been everything to be able to get the money to pay this far. I had some money saved up on the side because I am using this as my vacation for this year but that $250 pretty much takes away a good amount of it. I do not know really what to do at the point. I do not want to lose a friend over this but I can not go broke over someone elses wedding when I am still trying to save up for a good portion of mine. Am I the one being unreasonable in this or no? Any advice helps as well.

Re: Bridezilla Rant...the bride giving outragous demands

Fuck that noise.
I would drop the spa thing in a heartbeat. Is she going to kick out her entire BP because they can't afford to get their hair ripped off their face? Let her have no bridesmaids, that's what she deserves.
As much as I would loooove to decline the $125 hair, I would probably suck that one up. Because I am terrible at doing my own hair. If I could find a cheaper place to do it, I would tell the bride "Sorry, I'm saving money and going to X place. I'll be ready for pictures." She can suck it up-it's your money to spend, not hers.

You are not being unreasonable. I think you need to tell her, "Bride, I'm sorry, but the mandatory spa on our own dime is just the last straw for me. You know I'm moving and have my own wedding to pay for. I'm spending $x amount on yours. I know you said that if we don't do this, we're out of the party. I still want to be in the party but this is your choice. I will be ready for pictures at x time otherwise. Let me know."

Fuck that noise.
I would drop the spa thing in a heartbeat. Is she going to kick out her entire BP because they can't afford to get their hair ripped off their face? Let her have no bridesmaids, that's what she deserves.
As much as I would loooove to decline the $125 hair, I would probably suck that one up. Because I am terrible at doing my own hair. If I could find a cheaper place to do it, I would tell the bride "Sorry, I'm saving money and going to X place. I'll be ready for pictures." She can suck it up-it's your money to spend, not hers.

I would have backed out of this wedding ages ago. I would not agree to buying a $250 dress. I would not agree to pay $100-125 for my hair. I certainly wouldn't be spending $250 to "treat myself" to a fucking bikini wax.

Fuck.

Plus travel and hotel?

Fuck no.

If I were you, I would jump ship and hope I could return the overpriced dress. I don't care how much I cared about this girl, because she is showing she doesn't care about you.

If you don't want to remove yourself from the wedding, then I would just practice the following sentence over and over and over:

"I'm sorry, but that is out of my budget. I will..."

...be staying at the Travelodge down the road....do my own hair and make-up....do my own mani/pedi and remain hairy. (Seriously, unless your bridesmaid dress is a thong bikini, why are there brazilian waxes involved?)

But no - you are not out of line. If she wants you to all have the same hairstyle, she should be paying for it. Same with the spa day...you don't use the word "treat" if you're not paying. And in my opinion, same with the hotel if there are other more affordable options in the area and she's demanding you stay at a more expensive option (or at the very least, pay for the difference between what you would have otherwise spent at the cheaper option at your budget and what she wants you do).

I personally have no problem saying peace out to that noise. If making people pay for their own "mandatory" spa day is the hill she wants to die on, I'd let her and just walk away. However, I get how someone might want to preserve the friendship (assuming she was a very rational, reasonable person before she started planning her wedding and a good friend to you). And if that's the case, then again, just repeat "I'm sorry, but that's out of my budget" and then provide her a reasonable thing you're willing to do instead. She can take it or leave it, but if she leaves it at you know you did everything an average reasonable human being would do to make it work.

So I am a bride to be and so is one of my bridesmaids as well. As her wedding approches (Oct 11) she is become more of a bridezilla and some of her demands are becoming to much.

She is having a destination wedding in Clearwater Beach, Fl on Oct 11. She already has made the demands that we stay at the same place she is which is somewhat expensive and also requires a week stay in order to book which we have to pay for ourselves. She also wanted us all to get the same dress and the dress she picked was about $250. On top of that now she is requiring us to go to this place down there that does hair and make up and it's literally almost over $100 for that which is a estimate depending on hair length...which is mine is some what long so the lady said mine might be about $125 (once again...pay for ourselves)

After having to pay for all of this she made a comment and worded it as "I would like to treat you ladies to a spa day when we are down there one day! It's a bridal party package and I feel you ladies deserve it". Now maybe it is just me and the other bridesmaids but when you hear this it makes it sound like she is paying for this "spa day". After we all agreed to it after reading the text we recieved we come find out that this package is almost $250 per girl since it includes mani, pedi, massage, facials, and eyebrow and brazilian wax. When another bridesmaid decided to say thank you for getting us that package since it was very expensive...she looked at her with a confused look and said "what are you talking about...you all are on your own for paying for your alls. I am just paying for mine." Word travels fast and soon after this comment was made...we all back out of the spa thing. Bride threw a fit and said either we go to this spa day or we are out of the wedding....

I am also a bride to be and moving out in a month. It has been everything to be able to get the money to pay this far. I had some money saved up on the side because I am using this as my vacation for this year but that $250 pretty much takes away a good amount of it. I do not know really what to do at the point. I do not want to lose a friend over this but I can not go broke over someone elses wedding when I am still trying to save up for a good portion of mine. Am I the one being unreasonable in this or no? Any advice helps as well.

Seems like she is giving you a good out that I would suggest you take.

That is insanity. I'd drop out of the wedding, drop her as a friend and never look back. A person that treats their friends like that is not a friend worth having.

I was friends with a girl that acted like a total nightmare bridezilla while planning her wedding (I was a bridesmaid). The way she treated the other BMs was an eye-opener to me. It spoke volumes about her character. I haven't seen or spoken to her in months. Who's got time for crappy friends?

If you don't want to remove yourself from the wedding, then I would just practice the following sentence over and over and over:

"I'm sorry, but that is out of my budget. I will..."

...be staying at the Travelodge down the road....do my own hair and make-up....do my own mani/pedi and remain hairy. (Seriously, unless your bridesmaid dress is a thong bikini, why are there brazilian waxes involved?)

Thank you for all the opinions. After posting this yesterday I ended up going out to meet one of her other bridesmaids (who is also planning a wedding and has a kid). We decided that enough was enough and decided to go talk to her about it to see if we could reason with her. When we got over there we told her that we were both already spending more on this wedding than we expected to and that this last little bit was not in our budget. She seriously started crying and then got her mom involved who continued to yell at me because she is also spending a lot on my wedding......

Just some back ground on my wedding...its here in the town we live in, 5 minutes from where she lives, her bridesmaids dress was $50, and I am letting them do there own hair and make up. My wedding is no where near a huge formal event.

About an hour in this arguement and trying to reason with her, her mom kicked us both out of the wedding for being rude and unreasonable bridesmaids. She wanted the dresses back and said she would pay us for them. She also gave me my bridesmaids dress that she got for my wedding because if I was not going to be in her wedding she was not going to be in mine (which I did pay her for). I was also able to get my deposit back for where we were staying in Clearwater. This is all fine with me because all that extra money can go toward my and my FI's honeymoon, wedding, or our house. Did I lose a friend because of this? More than likely but you can't treat people like that expect us to take it. I felt mostly bad for the other girl. Bride's mom was guilting her because she bought her an expensive car seat for a baby shower 2 years ago but she wasnt willing to return the favor for her daughter's wedding. She wasnt able to get an expensive gift for the bride due to planning her own wedding and having a kid and that is apparently tacky and rude. I am relieved to be out of the mess though.

Thank you for all the opinions. After posting this yesterday I ended up going out to meet one of her other bridesmaids (who is also planning a wedding and has a kid). We decided that enough was enough and decided to go talk to her about it to see if we could reason with her. When we got over there we told her that we were both already spending more on this wedding than we expected to and that this last little bit was not in our budget. She seriously started crying and then got her mom involved who continued to yell at me because she is also spending a lot on my wedding......

Just some back ground on my wedding...its here in the town we live in, 5 minutes from where she lives, her bridesmaids dress was $50, and I am letting them do there own hair and make up. My wedding is no where near a huge formal event.

About an hour in this arguement and trying to reason with her, her mom kicked us both out of the wedding for being rude and unreasonable bridesmaids. She wanted the dresses back and said she would pay us for them. She also gave me my bridesmaids dress that she got for my wedding because if I was not going to be in her wedding she was not going to be in mine (which I did pay her for). I was also able to get my deposit back for where we were staying in Clearwater. This is all fine with me because all that extra money can go toward my and my FI's honeymoon, wedding, or our house. Did I lose a friend because of this? More than likely but you can't treat people like that expect us to take it. I felt mostly bad for the other girl. Bride's mom was guilting her because she bought her an expensive car seat for a baby shower 2 years ago but she wasnt willing to return the favor for her daughter's wedding. She wasnt able to get an expensive gift for the bride due to planning her own wedding and having a kid and that is apparently tacky and rude. I am relieved to be out of the mess though.

Wow, that all is a hot mess. Sorry you had to deal with it.

The only thing I would have to say is it sounds like Bride's mom might be putting a lot of pressure on her, and that was filtering down to you guys. Doesn't make her actions right by any means, but it does kind of make some sense. I mean, the MOM kicked you out of the wedding, not even the Bride??? That's insane.

Thank you for all the opinions. After posting this yesterday I ended up going out to meet one of her other bridesmaids (who is also planning a wedding and has a kid). We decided that enough was enough and decided to go talk to her about it to see if we could reason with her. When we got over there we told her that we were both already spending more on this wedding than we expected to and that this last little bit was not in our budget. She seriously started crying and then got her mom involved who continued to yell at me because she is also spending a lot on my wedding......

Just some back ground on my wedding...its here in the town we live in, 5 minutes from where she lives, her bridesmaids dress was $50, and I am letting them do there own hair and make up. My wedding is no where near a huge formal event.

About an hour in this arguement and trying to reason with her, her mom kicked us both out of the wedding for being rude and unreasonable bridesmaids. She wanted the dresses back and said she would pay us for them. She also gave me my bridesmaids dress that she got for my wedding because if I was not going to be in her wedding she was not going to be in mine (which I did pay her for). I was also able to get my deposit back for where we were staying in Clearwater. This is all fine with me because all that extra money can go toward my and my FI's honeymoon, wedding, or our house. Did I lose a friend because of this? More than likely but you can't treat people like that expect us to take it. I felt mostly bad for the other girl. Bride's mom was guilting her because she bought her an expensive car seat for a baby shower 2 years ago but she wasnt willing to return the favor for her daughter's wedding. She wasnt able to get an expensive gift for the bride due to planning her own wedding and having a kid and that is apparently tacky and rude. I am relieved to be out of the mess though.

To the bolded-- I wouldn't give her the dress until you have payment in hand. Just in case.

So I am a bride to be and so is one of my bridesmaids as well. As her wedding approches (Oct 11) she is become more of a bridezilla and some of her demands are becoming to much.

She is having a destination wedding in Clearwater Beach, Fl on Oct 11. She already has made the demands that we stay at the same place she is which is somewhat expensive and also requires a week stay in order to book which we have to pay for ourselves. She also wanted us all to get the same dress and the dress she picked was about $250. On top of that now she is requiring us to go to this place down there that does hair and make up and it's literally almost over $100 for that which is a estimate depending on hair length...which is mine is some what long so the lady said mine might be about $125 (once again...pay for ourselves)

After having to pay for all of this she made a comment and worded it as "I would like to treat you ladies to a spa day when we are down there one day! It's a bridal party package and I feel you ladies deserve it". Now maybe it is just me and the other bridesmaids but when you hear this it makes it sound like she is paying for this "spa day". After we all agreed to it after reading the text we recieved we come find out that this package is almost $250 per girl since it includes mani, pedi, massage, facials, and eyebrow and brazilian wax. When another bridesmaid decided to say thank you for getting us that package since it was very expensive...she looked at her with a confused look and said "what are you talking about...you all are on your own for paying for your alls. I am just paying for mine." Word travels fast and soon after this comment was made...we all back out of the spa thing. Bride threw a fit and said either we go to this spa day or we are out of the wedding....

I am also a bride to be and moving out in a month. It has been everything to be able to get the money to pay this far. I had some money saved up on the side because I am using this as my vacation for this year but that $250 pretty much takes away a good amount of it. I do not know really what to do at the point. I do not want to lose a friend over this but I can not go broke over someone elses wedding when I am still trying to save up for a good portion of mine. Am I the one being unreasonable in this or no? Any advice helps as well.

This line cracks me up! How is she treating you, if you are paying for it? Because she is paying for her own and not forcing the BP to? How nice?

Sorry OP that you had to go through this and possibly lose a friend. Was the bride there when you got kicked out by the mom? She just stood there and let her mom kick you out?

This sounds like a blessing in disguise if you get all your money back, and take a real vaca with you FI. It absolutely blows my mind how brides can be this demanding!!!

I am also saying, "PHEW!!!" for you. I'm sorry you have probably lost a friend over this, but what a blessing to have your week of vacation back, plus not have to stay at that expensive hotel. I'm so glad you were able to get your deposit back for that.

And yes...in what alternate universe does the word "treating" suddenly mean the opposite?

I would band together with the other bridesmaids and say, "no". When you tell someone you want to "treat them" the implication is clear that it is their money, not yours. Who doesn't know that? If everyone else also takes a stand she'll either realize she's being unreasonable or have zero bridal party.

I let her just pay me the $200 instead of $250 instead of her giving me 250 and then me turning around and giving her 50 back. We exchanged dresses there and yes she did just stand there and let her mom do it. Like I said it sucks to lose a friend but a friend would not treat you that way. I am planning wedding and I know it can be stressful but you do not act like that. Have some class!

You surely dodged a bullet there and she is not the friend you think she is if she was treating you all this way.

Any idea if any of the other bridesmaids will follow suit here or will they suck it up? Do they want the dresses back so they can replace you? I would just love to be asked to be a replacement BM with that big fat price tag attached to it....said no one ever.

Massive Mom-Zilla. As other posters have said, it seems like a blessing in disguise. Also, the mom has a lot of nerve bringing up an expensive car seat she bought 2 years ago....and then rubbed it in your friend's face? Evil bitch.