Cookie Questions: How do I make my long distance relationship work?

There is more often or not, a time in our lives when we have to consider a long distance relationship. Whether because our partner is moving away or if we had met someone who already lived somewhere different. Long distance relationships can also mean anything from a different city, state, country or even continent. Here are my tips on how to make it work!

I’m going to start of by telling you the number one rule. For any relationship, not just long distance. In fact, it’s kinda like the ONLY rule. It’s all about communication. Location location location? Communication communication communication.

A really easy way to look at is it, is this: Relationships are hard all by themselves, there’s lots of hurdles and obstacles constantly cropping up. Long distance relationships are just the same, only they have extra hurdles that normal relationships don’t have, on top of the normal stuff too. That’s why if you want your long distance relationship to work, you’ve got to get the basics down. Nail them down. Right them on the back of your hand and chant them in your sleep.

But what does it mean to communicate with someone? Is it really as simple as staying in touch?

My tips on how to make a long distance relationship work

Call. We now live in an age where instant messaging is free, we’re all connected via facebook, twitter and email. It’s so easy to talk to someone that we’ve actually forgotten what it’s like to talk to someone. If you can’t meet your partner, the next best thing is to hear them. Phone calls are intimate and you’re able to convey proper feelings in your voice that emoticons just can’t. I suggest making a routine – Pick a time to call and how frequently and stick to it. Maybe you’ll call each other every night before going to bed, maybe you’ll do a morning wake up call. Whatever it is, try not to put it off. Even if you’re out with friends and have to excuse yourself. It sounds silly, but it shows effort being made and commitment.

Video call. It’s very different from a phone call. It’s good to see the other person’s face and if you’re at home on skype then you can even get a bit naughtier. There’s also facetime and other mobile options. I know people who skyped every day. However, I think phone calls are better, and I leave video calls for special occasions.

Keep them up to date. Even if your day has been really dull and you’ve done nothing. Even when you’ve had a bad day. I find sharing your life with the other person as much as you can helps. It’s something simple, to just ask the other person how their day was. It might not sound like much but keeping your partner in your life means sharing that life with them, not matter how small the daily things seem to be.

Compliment. It’s very easy to forget to say things like “you’re beautiful” or “You’re so funny” or just anything you really like about the other person. Sometimes, it’s just nice to remember them. And be remembered. Don’t force a compliment though, but if you think something “Oh wow, I remember this is why I’m so into this person!” then you should tell them!

Tell them how you feel. This is so important. Tell the other person how you feel. About stuff. Are you happy? Tell them. Do you miss them? Tell them. Is there something bothering you? Tell them. Talking it out helps. This goes for normal relationships too. If you feel uneasy, or something makes you sad/angry/negative – you need to tell your partner. Otherwise they may not know and you’ll stew in those feelings. Also you’ll have fights and arguments. Some may be petty and feel worse, some may actually be huge. But that’s why you should talk about them – although maybe after the heat of the moment has died down!

Plan visits. It’s very important you have set dates and times when you will meet. It doesn’t have to be frequent or regular, but it’s good to set a day. That way you have something to look forward to, a finish line to get to. It helps with the distance and the waiting. It means that the distance is only a temporary thing. It’s important to know that you’re relationship is still there, and that it’ll move forwards as well. Also, physical contact is important in any relationship.

So communication truly is the biggest thing to do, whether it’s making time to call your partner or just talk after a falling out. However don’t forget to put in the extra effort occasionally and surprise them (surprise visits, gifts sent to their door or a sexy selfie for example)! Also nothing beats seeing the person face to face, so no matter how far the distance, always make time to see your partner!

Harriet Sugarcookie began her journey as a shy, awkward nerd to the now iconic founder of the Sugarcookie brand. Determined to lead the adult industry in a better direction, she mixes nerdy and sexy into an educational, compassionate, kickass one-stop-shop for the modern adult consumer. Her goals include meeting Tom Hanks, and getting past silver rank in Overwatch.

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