Courage

Courage is the ability to do what we think is desirable in the face of fear. It is not a lack of trepidation but rather the summoning of will and resolve to act when confronted by it.Aristotle asserted it is the median between cowardice and foolhardiness.

Dying evokes fear in most of us. We might fear the diminishment of our physical, intellectual, and emotional powers; the loss of purpose and importance; pain and suffering; the loss of urinary and fecal continence; and the undermining of our dignity. We might fear becoming a heavy burden on our spouse, family, friends, and society. We might fear the high costs of medical and nursing care that could be imposed on our family or on society. We might fear the unknown, divine justice for our life choices, and obliteration.

We will need courage during our end-of-life planning to anticipate the diminution of our powers, eroding control, and the need for help. We will need courage to ask tough questions, to make decisions about imperfect treatments with known and unknown side effects, and to name others to make medical and financial decisions if we become incompetent. We will need courage to do what we consider is right when approaching the end of life, even if it might cause us discomfort, concern some of our loved ones, and go against common practice. We will need courage to recognize when death is nearing. Finally, we might want courage at some point to decline further treatment and loosen our grip on life.

If you have read this far, you have already demonstrated some courage—for most people assiduously avoid reading and thinking about dying.

Quotations about Courage

Sometimes people are able to distill profound wisdom into a single sentence. Here are some examples about courage.

“Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying.” —Martin Luther

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.” —Raymond Lindquist

“Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.” —Alice M. Swaim

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” —Nelson Mandela

“Not only in answering questions, but in asking them, courage is required.” —Mortimer J. Adler

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” —Winston Churchill

“We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering that we have the strength to stare it down.” —Eleanor Roosevelt

“Confront your fears, list them, get to know them, and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead.” —Jerry Gillies

“Courage is … like a muscle, it is strengthened by use.” —Ruth Gordon

“There are all kinds of courage. It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.” —J. K. Rowling

“Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are stiffened.” —Billy Graham

“Nothing is so exhausting as indecision and nothing is so futile.” —Bertrand Russell

“One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.” —Michael J. Fox

“Healthy children will not fear life if their elders have integrity enough not to fear death.” —Erik H. Erikson

“I'd rather die my way than live yours.” —Lauren Oliver

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” —Ann Landers

Examples of People Approachingthe End of Life with Courage

My father, an accomplished military veteran and A+ gentleman, helped guide us to his end of life wishes. He had moderate Alzheimer's and a fast growing tumor. We struggled—do we treat the cancer and lengthen his life? He helped guide us and demonstrated a courage that had been manifest throughout his life. I miss him but am at peace with the tough choices we had to make on his behalf. —Submitted by K. Bransford

Additional Resources

The Courage Quotient: How Science Can Make You BraverRobert Biswas-Diener, 2012.The author strives to help readers recognize the courage that they have already marshaled in life and to expand on that for present and coming challenges. Courage is defined as “the willingness to act toward a moral or worthwhile goal despite the presence of risk, uncertainty, and fear.” He advises that courage can be increased by either controlling fear or boosting willingness to act, and offers suggestions for both. The discussion does not address courage when dying, but most of the guidance is applicable.

Fear and CourageS.J. Rachman, 2nd Edition, 1990.This book is a now a dated overview of what was known from the psychological research about fear and courage up until 1990. There is nothing explicit about dying except as related to battlefield situations, but some of the findings are applicable to both a dying person and those around him or her. The evidence suggests that we are more susceptible to fear when alone, but when in a group, both the fear and the courage of the others tend to be contagious; that fear mitigates as we cope successfully with a particular stress; and that training, coaching, and some therapeutic interventions often help reduce fear of a particular stressor.

Your Input About Courage

Note: By submitting comments here you are agreeing to permit their use on this website and in all other forms of distribution that the editors might choose.

Please share your memories of someone who approached death with notable courage. How was the courage manifested? How do you think he or she summoned it? *

Has anything helped you summon courage for your own approaching death? *