San Francisco (SatireWire.com) – Gateway Learning Corporation, maker of Hooked On Phonics, said today it will spin off its language teaching arm in an in-ish-ul pub-lik aw-fer-ing, or I Pee Oh.

In an S-1 filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission, the company said it hopes to sell 5 mil-yun shairs at ate dahl-erz. The offering will be underwritten by Goldman Sachs, and pronounced by a second grader who is now reading at the fourth-grade level, and really enjoying it.

Four out of five stock analysts said they expect to see interest in the offering improve dramatically in just four weeks.