Friday, November 17, 2006

When in Rome

So psycho dwarf and his easily influenced fiancee are about to walk down the aisle (not sure if Scientologists actually do that - maybe Katie will be beamed down from High Command) in Rome. Why marry in Rome, the home of Catholicism, when you can marry in the obvious place for a Scientologist (ie Nutsville, CA or any psychiatric institution)? Could the Pope secretly be a Scientologist too? He's certainly got Tom's scary dead eyes and crazy ideas but that's all probably down to his love of brown uniforms circa 1939. My guess is that, as always, Cruise is going for the international media event THAT PROVES HE IS NOT, REPEAT NOT GAY. A quiet ceremony with a few friends wouldn't be aggressively hetero enough; only a huge media frenzy guaranteed to bring both the American and European tabloids flocking to his nuptials will satisfy Tom. When phase one (the wedding) is over, expect phase two (the honeymoon) to produce lots of photos of Tom and his new bride holding hands and kissing for the droves of photographers.