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On my way home from work tonight i received a phone call from a very distressed and distraught Smooth Operator.

His exact words were "You'll never fucking guess who i know off the board?" he then goes onto tell me that him and Meenzer were "Bum Chums" when they were younger and they were never apart and spent a lot of time alone together, "playing games" and "having fun" at each others houses.

Immediately alarm bells started ringing for me, so jokingly i said "I bet you went to cubs & scouts together", his reply "yes we did, we also went horseriding together and come to think of it Meenzer always rode pillion" he obviously had it in him from an early age this gay malarky, at this point i replied "the only fucka thats had it in him from an early age is you, now don't ring this number again and promptly hung up".

The thing thats what's starting to worry me is has SMO been weighing me up all this time thinking i might be up for a stroll down the Bournville Boulevard, as ever since our first day of meeting he's been awfully nice to me, so much so I introduced him to some of my mates and family but to think he's been after getting into my teatowel holder all this time and probably knocking bedroom popadoms out on the strength of something happen has left me some what disturbed.

I mean if he is licking the wrong side of the stamp then fair do's but to keep this sort of thing a secret from me all this time i find somewhat worrying and can only come to the conclusion he was fulfilling or had plans to act out some sort of sick fantasy, what with me being a dwarf 'n' all.

Anyway, with my reputation i can't be seen knocking around with pork knuckles so unless he can assure me it was just a phase he was going through and it was Meenzer who was on roll patrol (receiving end) then i can't see much future for our double act relationship as off the top of my head i can't think of ant decent gay comedy duo's.

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On my way home from work tonight i received a phone call from a very distressed and distraught Smooth Operator.

His exact words were "You'll never fucking guess who i know off the board?" he then goes onto tell me that him and Meenzer were "Bum Chums" when they were younger and they were never apart and spent a lot of time alone together, "playing games" and "having fun" at each others houses.

Immediately alarm bells started ringing for me, so jokingly i said "I bet you went to cubs & scouts together", his reply "yes we did, we also went horseriding together and come to think of it Meenzer always rode pillion" he obviously had it in him from an early age this gay malarky, at this point i replied "the only fucka thats had it in him from an early age is you, now don't ring this number again and promptly hung up".

The thing thats what's starting to worry me is has SMO been weighing me up all this time thinking i might be up for a stroll down the Bournville Boulevard, as ever since our first day of meeting he's been awfully nice to me, so much so I introduced him to some of my mates and family but to think he's been after getting into my teatowel holder all this time and probably knocking bedroom popadoms out on the strength of something happen has left me some what disturbed.

I mean if he is licking the wrong side of the stamp then fair do's but to keep this sort of thing a secret from me all this time i find somewhat worrying and can only come to the conclusion he was fulfilling or had plans to act out some sort of sick fantasy, what with me being a dwarf 'n' all.

Anyway, with my reputation i can't be seen knocking around with pork knuckles so unless he can assure me it was just a phase he was going through and it was Meenzer who was on roll patrol (receiving end) then i can't see much future for our double act relationship as off the top of my head i can't think of ant decent gay comedy duo's.

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On my way home from work tonight i received a phone call from a very distressed and distraught Smooth Operator.

His exact words were "You'll never fucking guess who i know off the board?" he then goes onto tell me that him and Meenzer were "Bum Chums" when they were younger and they were never apart and spent a lot of time alone together, "playing games" and "having fun" at each others houses.

Immediately alarm bells started ringing for me, so jokingly i said "I bet you went to cubs & scouts together", his reply "yes we did, we also went horseriding together and come to think of it Meenzer always rode pillion" he obviously had it in him from an early age this gay malarky, at this point i replied "the only fucka thats had it in him from an early age is you, now don't ring this number again and promptly hung up".

The thing thats what's starting to worry me is has SMO been weighing me up all this time thinking i might be up for a stroll down the Bournville Boulevard, as ever since our first day of meeting he's been awfully nice to me, so much so I introduced him to some of my mates and family but to think he's been after getting into my teatowel holder all this time and probably knocking bedroom popadoms out on the strength of something happen has left me some what disturbed.

I mean if he is licking the wrong side of the stamp then fair do's but to keep this sort of thing a secret from me all this time i find somewhat worrying and can only come to the conclusion he was fulfilling or had plans to act out some sort of sick fantasy, what with me being a dwarf 'n' all.

Anyway, with my reputation i can't be seen knocking around with pork knuckles so unless he can assure me it was just a phase he was going through and it was Meenzer who was on roll patrol (receiving end) then i can't see much future for our double act relationship as off the top of my head i can't think of ant decent gay comedy duo's.

124049[/snapback]

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I have to say that I suspected S-O's Cassanova act might be an act, and I think this has been confirmed. Whether he's just in the closet or is in denial I don't know, but it all makes sense now. It's his g/f I feel sorry for.......

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I have to say that I suspected S-O's Cassanova act might be an act, and I think this has been confirmed. Whether he's just in the closet or is in denial I don't know, but it all makes sense now. It's his g/f I feel sorry for.......

124150[/snapback]

She'll be broken when she reads that text i've sent her, then again the jigsaw will probably fall into place, all those sordid things he's been asking her to perform in the bedroom will eventually all make sense.

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On my way home from work tonight i received a phone call from a very distressed and distraught Smooth Operator.

His exact words were "You'll never fucking guess who i know off the board?" he then goes onto tell me that him and Meenzer were "Bum Chums" when they were younger and they were never apart and spent a lot of time alone together, "playing games" and "having fun" at each others houses.

Immediately alarm bells started ringing for me, so jokingly i said "I bet you went to cubs & scouts together", his reply "yes we did, we also went horseriding together and come to think of it Meenzer always rode pillion" he obviously had it in him from an early age this gay malarky, at this point i replied "the only fucka thats had it in him from an early age is you, now don't ring this number again and promptly hung up".

The thing thats what's starting to worry me is has SMO been weighing me up all this time thinking i might be up for a stroll down the Bournville Boulevard, as ever since our first day of meeting he's been awfully nice to me, so much so I introduced him to some of my mates and family but to think he's been after getting into my teatowel holder all this time and probably knocking bedroom popadoms out on the strength of something happen has left me some what disturbed.

I mean if he is licking the wrong side of the stamp then fair do's but to keep this sort of thing a secret from me all this time i find somewhat worrying and can only come to the conclusion he was fulfilling or had plans to act out some sort of sick fantasy, what with me being a dwarf 'n' all.

Anyway, with my reputation i can't be seen knocking around with pork knuckles so unless he can assure me it was just a phase he was going through and it was Meenzer who was on roll patrol (receiving end) then i can't see much future for our double act relationship as off the top of my head i can't think of ant decent gay comedy duo's.

124049[/snapback]

Look lads I can't help it if an old friend of mine take it up the wrong un' can I.

The Operator is still as Smooth as ever, no worries about this.

As for the double act, the stunted bastard Wacky hasn't been pulling his weight for months now, I was thinking of going it on my own tbh - he admitted to me he actually prefered posting on the SMB board so he's dead to me now anyway.