January 23, 2008

Life As A Doctor's Wife

I have talked briefly on other posts about stereotypes that women who are married to physicians face, and my personal experiences facing these stereotypes and being critiqued about having a positive attitude towards my husband's career. One of the phrases that people google that leads to this blog is "life as a doctor's wife". I am always intrigued about who is googling this phrase, is it a medical student's wife looking for light at the end of the tunnel? Is it a woman in a serious relationship with a physician wondering what could be down the line? Or is it someone who is just curious about a life other than their own?

While I have no other experience as to what it is like to be married to someone other than a physician (Mike was in undergrad when we got married, so I guess a student is different, but medical school was the goal) I imagine that being married to a doctor is very similar to being married to anyone else. There are challenges that are unique to the profession, but I would also imagine that every career has its unique challenges. I think that is the nature of marriage, as a couple you face challenges and compromise and balance work and family. As I have mentioned before, Mike and I got married while we were both in undergrad and I knew that Mike wanted to go to medical school. It has been a major factor in our lives, but we try really hard not to let it be the biggest thing going on in our lives. This has not always been easy, we have based other major life events/ changes around Mike's school, schedule, etc. and we have invested a lot of time and money into his career. However, it is just a part of our lives. It is Mike's career, not my identity and not his.

So my life as a doctor's wife, isn't so much about Mike being a doctor. I am grateful that Mike has found a career that he is truly passionate about. And while we face challenges due to Mike's career, we try not to put our focus on them. My life is usually not what people expect, and I am often labeled and stereotyped. So anyone who wants to know what life is like as a doctor's wife, keep reading.

Comments

How is your internship year going? It has been a lot better than I thought it would be. Everyone kept telling me it was the hardest out of all of it and I let that scare me. Don't get me wrong, it has been hard, but nothing we haven't dealt with for the last 5 years. It is a day at a time thing. Enjoy the second half of the intern year!

I don't really think I know what it is like to be married to a doctor yet? Really we have just completed 4 years medical school and 5 years general surgery residency. All we know is the craziness of residency.

I am wondering if Mike is practicing medicine or still in residency or fellowship and in what field. I met my husband in medical residency and we suffered together through his fellowship, practice interviews and finally private practice. I am also curious on your discussions about the medical industry. One thing I am is a comforting ear for my husband's stressful days with patients, hmos, notes and the business side of medicine.

I just stumbled upon your blog this morning via Enjoy the Journey...and I have to say how much I've enjoyed reading your blog and the "truths" about being a doctor's wife. :-)

My husband and I have been married just shy of 5 years (and just about 4 of those have been spent in medical school--he'll graduate this June). While I'm very excited to complete this stage of his medical education (a lifelong journey), I definitely have my reservations, especially since we have decided for me to be a SAHM once we start residency (we have an 18 month old and one due 4/30).

I've only heard that PGY1 is worse than being in medical school....please tell me it's not that bad. :-)

I was one of the folks that found your blog in that goofy way...and it was because I was wondering if there were any other women out there who were annoyed by the "oh, how nice it must be to date a doctor" comments. :) I look forward to reading your blog. :)