BMW Remotely Locks Sleeping Thief in Stolen Car

Seattle Police got a present from BMW last month: a sleeping car thief, neatly locked inside a remotely shut down BMW 550i with no way to escape.

According to the Seattle Police Department’s blog, an enterprising car thief found a key fob mistakenly left in an unlocked BMW in a parking garage in Seattle’s University District during the early hours of the morning of September 27. The thief, a 38-year-old man who was carrying a small amount of methamphetamine, swiped the car and drove it about a mile, before calling it quits on his joyride to take a nap in an alley. This turned out to be a mistake, as the owner of the car reported it stolen at around 5 a.m. The BMW corporate offices were able to immediately locate the car, sent the SPD the coordinates, and, as police officers approached the car, remotely locked down all of the doors.

SPD blogger Jonah Spangenthal-Lee really put himself in the mind of the criminal for this one too, leaving this absolute gem of a paragraph (and flawless Watchmen reference) in the official police blotter for the day.

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BMW employees were able to remotely lock the car’s doors, trapping the suspect inside, presumably while hissing something terrifying like ‘I’m not locked in here with you, you’re locked in here with me’ into the cars sound system.

Imagine being locked in this beautiful prison forever.

BMW’s remote access app allows owners to lock and unlock their cars from their smartphone, but says nothing about sound system access. Their corporate center may have more options, but it’s unlikely that theft prevention specialists taunted the thief. Police “roused the suspect” who then tried — unsuccessfully — to drive off in the car again. He was arrested and booked into the King County Jail for auto theft and drug possession.

Best of all, the vehicle’s owner had gotten married a day earlier. She lent the car to a friend, who accidentally left the key fob inside and the car unlocked, because sometimes your friends are dumbasses right after a boozy wedding. Fortunately, she got her car back, and the SPD got the easiest grand theft auto arrest possible.