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And I can't stop friggin obsessing over her today. For the first time I looked at her FB- which she has public of course. I don't know why I did it. She totally devestated my world and she appears like things are great with her:

She's lost weight- I've gained because I'm pregnant

She's gone to cancun, San Francisco , DC and Colorado- I've gone no where

She died her hair the color I want mine. And her hair is long and thick and mine is short and thin

She seems so happy. I just can't shake it. I'm jealous. I don't know why. But I am. And she bothers me. I hate that I'm wasting time on someone who deserves none of it. I usually don't think about her and I've never looked at her Facebook. But today- for some reason. I had a weak moment. And I can't talk to H about it. We will just get upset that I'm bringing her up and wasting my time on her. I'm blaming the pregnancy hormones. I having a rough time.

I want to hear bad things about her. I want her to be miserable and in pain. I want gf he to feel what I felt. I'm usually pretty Buddhist about it all and wish her the best. But not today. Today I hate her and want to punch her in the face and see her cry.

Well, you CAN communicate to your WH that you're feeling vulnerable and triggery and insecure and that you need him to reassure you. My WH is FINALLY getting that the RIGHT response when I trigger is not "stop worrying about that" but "I'm so sorry that I've made you feel this way". That he shouldn't address the substance but the feelings behind it. And, given that you're pregnant, you get even MORE slack!