"Are those 'ows' real 'ows'?" my top asks in concern, resting the tip of the cane on the bed.

"No. Well, yes, they're real as in it really hurts, but it's the difference between owwww!" (high pitched squeal) "and 'Gerroff, you fucker'." I twist around and look at him through my eyelashes. "Basically if I'm still being cute, I'm consenting."

Sitting up with friends late into the night, D and I can't keep our hands off each other. I reach down and touch the soft bulge in his pants with my fingertips, feeling the promise of firmness there. He strokes my flanks and my back, feather-soft.

When we can't stand it any longer we make our excuses and leave. In the bedroom we start out slowly, lying close and kissing. It's dizzying how fast the heat rises. I don't realise how wet I am until his hand finds my molten centre and two fingers press deep inside, leaving me gasping and wanting more.

Nimue Allen was the first to take her caning, and she tweeted photos of her welted bottom after 50 cold cane strokes on Friday... which just served to make me more nervous. Thanks to the generosity of our funders (said through gritted teeth!) I was due 50 strokes and Ariel 25 strokes. I kept on waking up last night and was had to give myself a stern talking-to to stop myself getting all strung out with nerves.

I'm still reeling from the news. Thanks to our 105 generous funders, we raised a whopping 3836 for Backlash, and the money was transferred to their account yesterday. I met with David last week and he tells me the cash will be invaluable for funding legal support for producers affected by the UK porn legislation (which might well include yours truly).

I want to extend a personal thank you to each and every person who supported our sponsored caning campaign - whether by donating, sharing the link or writing a newspaper article. I had no idea when I launched this campaign that it would turn into such a wild success, and it's heartening to learn how many people in the UK and worldwide support the stand we're taking against this unjust attempt to censor our freedom of expression.

I'm typing this at the airport, waiting for my flight to Berlin. I've had five hours sleep and I can't believe I've actually made it this far and nothing's gone wrong.

This is my third international trip this year and each time I feel like I'm getting away with something naughty. Like all self-employed business owners, I pay the price for time off in advance. All the work due while I'm away needs to be done ahead of time; plus I need to earn extra pennies to pay for the trip. I can't imagine the ease of having paid leave - but then, nor can I imagine the frustration of not being in control of my own creative work. Overall it's a trade-off I'm happy with. And after not being able to afford to take holiday for most of my twenties, it feels like an unimaginable luxury.

It was D's birthday this week. Birthday spankings aren't generally on the menu when it's his turn to be spoiled - they aren't exactly his core erotic theme. But we did both take the day off work so we could devote it to pleasures of the flesh. Good food, lots of kinky sex, and a certain amount of lounging around on the sofa... the perfect self-indulgent day.

I came to his place the night before with a bag of toys. No spanking implements, true - but we were still going to have a good time.

I made a film, and I'm pretty damn excited about it. 'Instructed' is a collaboration between me and Ms Naughty, which was filmed at the Feminist Porn Awards this year. The shoot was attended by a BBC journalist - and that wasn't the only way this was a new experience for me. This is my most explicit video to date, exploring themes of remote dominance, anal eroticism, solo spanking and female masturbation.

I've written before about how I came up with the idea of keeping D's instructions a secret, and reading - and obeying - them live on camera. If you haven't read them already, you can find out more about the shoot in my blogposts Submissive solo shoot with Bright Desire and What will I be told to do? I'm really glad that D got involved so closely with the shoot - both in writing orders for me to follow, and in recording himself reading his instructions for me to use as a voiceover. The result is an intimate, erotic film which is as fresh and exciting for me as it was on the day of the shoot.

On Tuesday I had my first session of laser hair removal on my lower legs, bikini line and labia - "Brazilian" style, leaving my usual trimmed oval on the mons. The traditional shape to leave is a "landing strip" but I prefer curves to rectangles. I shaved my muff into a neatly trimmed oval, leaving plenty of hair-free space below for long, languid licks that explore every soft fold and curve. In the future, if I want, I can vary my look by trimming it down to a heart, a triangle, a diamond, the classic landing strip or by shaving it off and going completely hairless. The only thing I won't be able to do is grow back my bikini line and the hair on my outer labia - which I have been shaving on an at-least-weekly basis for over a decade.

The laser treatment hurt less than I was expecting. You're wearing dark glasses to protect you from the radiation, like in a tanning bed I imagine, not that I've ever used one. The machine blows a jet of cold air onto your skin at the same time as the laser, which doesn't so much feel like burning as pricking like a needle as it encounters each follicle. The machine makes a regular "bip, bip, bip" noise which makes it hard to tell whether the pinpricks of pain are in time with the beeping or not.