“I’m well aware of how long I’ve been alone,” I growled. “Trust me. The empty battery packs in the trashcan by my bed tell me exactly how long I’ve been alone.” Ha, I knew alluding to sex would shut her the hell up.

“T.M.I,” she shouted, and I heard her remove her earpiece in case I decided to expound a little more on what those batteries operate. I could tell she did this because the overly exaggerated gagging noises she made sounded muffled. I laughed at her. Score one for me.