The only reason William Schmalfeldt, the valor stealing, Parkinson's faking shitbag (#whereisonyx) hates PRESIDENT Trump so much is because he stands for everything he hates; self-relaince and personal responsibility in a meritocracy untainted by insersectional politics.

These are the 3 things that scare the shit out of him (which I'm sure he then rolls.into balls and sniffs).

He doesn't own property..
He depends on his girlfriends family for housing.
He thinks the drivel he produces that is supposed to be comedy has value.
He's written books that no one reads. The only proceeds are by those who bought them for evidence.
He's never been the plaintiff and won.
He lost an election.
He lost a job before he even arrived. Twice.
He's been evicted.
His PD even abandoned him. How the hell does that happen?

Schmalfeldt was walking in the woods on day and stepped in a bear trap.
He had to chew his own dick off to escape.
Aw who am I kidding. He did it for fun and then opened the trap and got his foot out.
Then he testepeded all the way home.