Gstaad, Switzerland: Bored? Alp is at hand

You don’t have to wait for winter to enjoy the Swiss Alps, with activities galore offsetting the effects of abundant dairy produce.

Serene Switzerland (Graeme Green)

Beware of the cows. Or, as Swiss ‘cow whisperer’ and farmer Emanuel Raaflaub puts it: ‘These cows weigh 700kilos, ten times the size of a human. If you get in a fight, they will win.’

Such bovine battles sound improbable but such is the ubiquity of cows around the very swish Swiss town of Gstaad that, once in a blue moon, a hiker or biker has been known to stumble into a herd and cause a ruckus.

‘The good thing,’ says Raaflaub as he describes warning signs to look for, ‘is that if you’re on a bike, you should be faster than the cows.’

I encounter plenty of cows as I explore the fresh green landscapes of the Alps.

Seeing as each one is not only a docile, lumbering animal but also wearing a clanging cowbell that announces its presence from 500metres, how hapless tourists have managed to get themselves entangled is a total mystery.

What’s even more of a mystery is how, with a diet based on bucketfuls of these cows’ produce, the Swiss people in these parts aren’t all porkers.

There should be signs warning of the risk of drowning in Alp milk, cream, cheese, butter, yoghurt, chocolate (all good ways to go), before even mentioning fondue.

Locals, though, make full use of the mountains to burn off those dairy pounds, with skiing and snowboarding in winter and everything from mountain biking to paragliding in the summer months.

Cycling it off: Try mountain biking

‘It’s a playground for adults,’ Local guide Marlene tells me as we hike uphill from Lake Arnen in the Tschärzis valley, negotiating a herd of cows being steered down the rocky trail by a farmer with a tree branch. We stop at a hillside chalet to watch traditional Alp cheese being produced. Farmers Uili and Rosemary Haldi work skilfully at a huge copper cauldron, turning 800litres of fresh milk into six huge wheels of cheese.A brunch of butter, milk, cream, yoghurt and three kinds of cheese is laid out on the table.

Uili is the fourth generation of his family to go into cheese-making, spending ten weeks up here each year.‘When I was ten days old, I was up here for the summer,’ he tells us as we munch on a tasty three-year-old Alp cheese. ‘This is my 52nd summer. My wife’s been coming since 1983. We couldn’t imagine doing anything else.’Uili’s house marks the point where German-speaking Switzerland ends and French-speaking Switzerland begins, the wunderbar scenery becoming très beau as we continue our hike. The 3,209m Diablerets Glacier (Glacier of Little Devils) looms in front as we reach the summit, the mountains to the right marking the border with France. Next day, we head out on mountain bikes from our hotel in Schönried. Our guides are two locals, Adrian Tschanz, who’s been biking these hills for more than 20 years, and Swiss pro snowboarder Roland Haldi. Our route takes us along the fast-flowing Saane river, up steep hills and on to a Panorama Trail.We speed past traditional Swiss chalets and cut through fragrant pine forests and meadows of long grass, yellow butterballs (even the flowers are a little bit ‘dairy’) and pink Alp roses.

A cable car carries us to the top of Rellerli (1,833m) for some full-on downhill action. ‘This is biking,’ says Tschanz, grinning, as we tear along the ridge, level with the snow on the peaks across the valley.Trying to keep up with Tschanz and Haldi’s fearless approach to the steep downhills makes this one of the most stupid and exciting bike rides I’ve ever done.My knuckles are white as I grip the brakes while trying to stay on the trail and on the bike and in one piece. One of the riders in front hits some loose gravel, comes off his bike and throws himself wisely into a ditch of soft mud.

‘Sport is about finding limits,’ says Haldi as we stop for a breather. ‘If you never crash, you never find the limits.’ Tschanz nods and tallies up the number of times he’s broken elbows and wrists. Very comforting.The chime of cowbells drifts across the valley as we restart. I follow Tschanz’s lead and let the brakes go, an invigorating rush as we hurtle down the Alps in the summer sunshine, leaving only a cloud of dust and mountain flowers in our wake.It would take some very nimble cows to catch us.

Graeme flew with Easyjet (easyjet.com) who have return flights from Gatwick to Geneva from £76.98.Swiss Transfer rail transfers from Geneva to Gstaad start from £77 return (myswitzerland.com/rail, 00800 100 200 30).Graeme stayed at the Ermitage Golf hotel and spa (ermitagegolf.ch) in Schönried, near Gstaad.For summer activities in Gstaad, visit gstaad.ch