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Sunday, May 31, 2009

That’s the informal version of goodbye in German. It’s pronounced “choo-ss” (in case you were wondering, which you probably weren’t but now if it ever comes up on Jeopardy! you can shout it at the TV and feel smarter than Ken What’s-his-face). IN English, it’s spelled Tchuss. Why tchuss, you ask? Because Indy and I are headed to the good old US of A tomorrow! For a month! Holy cow. We have a 9 hour flight, a 5 hour layover and another 2 hour flight. I may have to consume an alcoholic beverage or two on the flight. I know they’re bad for me (you know, dehydration and whatnot), but if you’ve ever spent 9 hours on a plane with a very chatty 6 year old, you’d understand. Plus, drinks are free on trans-Atlantic flights.

Have I finished packing? Nope. I’m trying (really hard) to put everything into one suitcase because we’re taking the train to Frankfurt and I don’t want to have to lug too much through the terminals (we have to change trains once), but it’s just not working. Where do I pack all my shoes? Speaking of shoes, I bought some GORGEOUS shoes yesterday. They are acid green satin tennis shoes with about a 3 inch spike heel. I almost drooled when I saw them. They spoke to me. “Mom in High Heels!” They called. “You know you want us! Look how cool we are. Look how unusual we are. Come to us. Try us on. You know you want to. Resistance is futile” First off, how they knew my blog name is beyond me, but I really did have to have them. I tried them on. I loved them. They came home with me. Now I just have to figure out how to get them in my luggage.

I’ll see you all on the other side of the pond. Have a lovely Monday.

Oh, and for those of you who commented on my previous post, I want to say thanks for your warm wishes and concern for my health. I’m sure I’ll be full of iron and pip soon.

Friday, May 29, 2009

I know you'll find this hard to believe, since I'm so witty and funny and whatnot, but over the last several months, I've been exhausted. I don't mean just tired, I mean exhausted. Barely able to function, exhausted. I would sleep 10+ hours a night, take a 2-3 hour nap every day and still be completely worn out. It's been getting progressively worse for a few months now and last week I finally decided to go see my doctor to find out what was going on. They drew a ton of blood (seriously, I need that stuff) and did a bazillion tests. Today I had my follow up for the results. The first thing my doc said he wasn't surprised I was tired. He was actually more surprised that I was upright and conscious. Well, with an opening like that, I was a bit concerned. He sat down with me and went over a bunch of numbers that didn't make much sense to me, but I smiled and nodded like I knew what he was talking about. My iron levels are beyond low. The normal range is 25-170, with 25 being on the edge of anemia. My level is 15. My blood itself has a very low red and white blood count. He said my blood is mostly fluid and nearly opaque under a microscope. Nice, huh? My binding agent is good (on the upper end of the spectrum even), but there are so few blood cells for it to bind to. So now I have to take iron supplements. Hurrah. If, after a month my iron levels don't increase, I may have to do a transfusion. No thank you.He said I need to eat more green vegetables, especially spinach. I actually laughed at that. I eat spinach almost every freaking day. Indy and I grew salad spinach from seed for a school project and we are now overloaded with fresh spinach. If I ate more, I'd turn into Popeye.On the up side though, he said my kidney and liver levels were at the level of a teenager. He's incredibly impressed with how good a shape my internal organs are. Yea for me, I guess.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

*I'm flying to the States in 6 days. I haven't even thought about packing. I don't care.

*When we went to France the other day, I was doing 120/mph (you read that right) and got PASSED. Many times. Crazy German driver, how I love you!

*My house is a mess. I don't care.

*I'm trying (really hard) to take an interest in the whole Supreme Court nominations thing, but I just can't. Say it with me: I don't care!

*My dogs are freaking insane. Arf, the little one who's name should really be Napoleon, because he's small, but has BIG plans, is barking at the TV. Animals on TV drive him crazy. If he sees an animal (especially a horse) on TV, he goes into some sort of anger trance, charges the TV (not that he can reach it, he's about 8 inches tall), barking and growling, chases his tail a few times, then looks back up at the TV to see if the animals are still there, then starts the whole thing over again. This goes on as long as there's an animal on TV. This actually affects our viewing choices. We never watch anything staring an animal unless we put him in his crate first and if we're flipping through the channels and come across an animal on the screen, we turn it as quickly as possible. Stupid dog. Good thing he's cute.

*Obama needs some Botox between his eyes. That little 'V' thing is really deep. He should get that taken care of. I'm just sayin.

*Oh, speaking of V, does anyone remember that show? OMG, it scared the beejeebers out of me. The baby with the forked tongue scarred me for life. What were my parents thinking letting me watch that? I was 11. Sheesh.

*I wish I had an ugly brick fireplace so I could paint it. It looks so cool on TV, I'm just itching to try it. Isn't that an odd thing to think about?

*I want a pink hammer.

*I'm so sick of make over shows talking about how green something is every 5 minutes. Good grief! Put a disclaimer at the front of the show: ALL PRODUCTS USED ON TODAY'S SHOW ARE GREEN. EVEN THE ELECTRICITY USED DURING FILIMINGWAS MADE BY MAKING THE PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS RUN ON A GIANT TREADMILL BECAUSE WE CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT AND ARE BETTER THAN YOU, YOU TV WATCHING SLACKER WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DECORATE.

*I finally saw Slumdog Millionaire last night. It was fantastic! If you haven't seen it, it's not just hype. It's a really well acted, well filmed movie that has a great story. Oh, and you must watch the end credits. "Who want to be a mill-on-air?"

*I now have a totally inappropriate crush on Dev Patel. He was born while I was a junior in HS. OMG, I'm almost a Mrs. Robinson.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Today we took a trip to the Lorraine American Military Cemetery in St. Avold, France for the Memorial Day ceremony. It is the largest WWII American Cemetery in Europe. It was almost overwhelming.

The surrounding area is quiet and peaceful and the entrance to the cemetery is green and beautiful. You have to walk up a hill to get to the actually cemetery. At the top of it is the memorial chapel. This is it from the front, but you approach from the back.

Just as you crest the rise, the cemetery itself comes into view. The sheer number of crosses is astounding.

The cemetery is 113 acres and is the resting place of over 10,500 US soldiers.

The US Girl Scouts in Germany teamed up with the French Scouts (co-ed) to place flags on each grave. That’s more than 21,000 flags. They also carried in each of the wreaths that were laid by various people with a connection to the cemetery.

The gentleman standing to the far right of this photo is a WWII vet who fought in France.

Past and present military were present, as were French military.

It was a solemn day that will be with us for years to come. As you spend your Memorial Day with friends and family at barbeques or picnics celebrating the beginning of summer, please take a moment to think about all those who serve today, those who served and fought in the past, and especially those who never made it home.

Friday, May 22, 2009

I don’t have much going on right now, but I’ve been writing down silly conversations we’ve had with Indy over the past couple of months and I thought I’d share them with you. If you knew Indy in real life (and some of you do) you’d know he really does talk this way. I swear sometimes I feel like I’m living with Benjamin Button. A little old man in a kid’s body. So, here are your Friday Funnies, courtesy of Indy.

A few weeks ago we were going to a friend’s birthday party and were sitting at a stoplight. Indy was being unusually quiet (always suspicious) when out of the blue:

Indy: So, Mom, when Dad put me in you, did he give you sleeping pills to knock you out first?

****crickets****

Me (after sputtering and trying not to look at M for fear of cracking up): Where did you hear that?

Indy: I didn’t hear it, I just figured that’s how it must happen.

M (to me): Do you think it’s time for the talk?

Indy: Not until I’m 10 Dad! I’m too young for the talk, but I thought I’d just try to figure it out myself.

Me: Please don’t tell anyone else you’re theories, okay?

Indy: Oh, I won’t. Other kids need to figure out for themselves that they’re dad gave their mom sleeping pills to put the baby in their tummy.

Me: That’s not how it happens.

Indy: So, no sleeping pills?

Me: No.

Indy: So Dad, how did you knock her out? You didn’t hit her did you?

M: Of course I didn’t hit her!

Indy: So how did you make her go to sleep?

M: I didn’t.

Indy: So, no sleeping?

Me: No. No sleeping.

Indy: You were awake when he put me in you?

Me: Yes.

Indy: Wow. Did it hurt?

M and I are trying really hard not to laugh, but not doing a very good job.

Me: No, it didn’t hurt.

Indy: Interesting. I’m going to have to think about this some more then.

Me: We’ll talk about it another time, but until then, you keep this to yourself. Okay?

Indy: Yeah, yeah. To myself. But Dad, don’t you try to give me the talk. I won’t be ready until I’m 10.

M: Okay. When you’re 10.

Indy: That’s right. But I’m going to think on it until then. I’m not going to say anything though. Just think about it.

Me: Okay, that’s a good idea.

Indy: One question. Does it have anything to do with dancing? Because if it does, I’m not dancing with anyone until I’m like a grown up.

M: No, it' doesn’t have anything to do with dancing.

Indy: Good, cause I like to dance. Are we almost at the party? I could really use some cake.

*******************************************************************

Last week he was watching The Wizard of Oz in German (at his German class) and I came in to pick him up.

Indy: Hey, Mom! It’s that movie where the girl and her friends get to kill all those witches and her henchmen and they don’t get in trouble.

Me: What?

Indy: You know, that girl, Dorothy and her friends. They drop the house on the witch and melt the other one, and kill those henchmen guards and they totally get away with it. I can’t believe it. They should really go to jail.

*******************************************************************

Indy: Hey mom.

Me: Yes?

Indy: Do you think I might be a genius?

Me: I don’t know, but it’s possible.

Indy: I think I might be.

Me: Really? Why do you think that?

Indy: Well, I’m pretty smart and I can do math in my head, plus I’m really handsome, so I think I might be a genius.

Me: You could be right.

Indy: Yeah, you’re so lucky to get me as your kid.

Me: I sure am.

*******************************************************************

Indy split his chin open the other night by falling out of the bed, trying to “rescue” Teddy who had fallen in the middle of the night.

Indy: They don’t love each other like boyfriend and girlfriend though, because they’re both boys and I don’t know how that would work. I don’t think either of them wants to be a girl. They just love each other like BFF’s.

*******************************************************************

This morning I was making breakfast and Indy comes out dressed in his Harry Potter gear and offered to grant me some wishes.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Yesterday I had a doctor’s appointment (everything’s fine, don’t worry). I got up and put myself together. Nothing fancy, jeans, cute top (not trendy or expensive, just cute), with a scarf (it’s very European to wear a scarf all the time) and slipped on a pair of super cute high heeled slide sandals (seriously, they’re ridiculously cute). I did my hair and spent about 6 minutes slapping on some moisturizer, face powder, lipstick and mascara. I did not put a lot of effort into getting myself together, but I put some effort.

I sat in the waiting room and looked around at all the other people waiting I wondered why the lack of effort. I mean we were in a waiting room of the doctor’s office and it’s possible that some of these people were indeed sick (though no one really looked like swine flu sick or sick at all to be honest), but even sick, I can brush my hair and put on something other than grubby sweats, a holey t-shirt and flip flops.

I have to say it makes me sad that people (specifically women) take so little pride in themselves and their personal appearance. It doesn’t take much time, effort or even money to look good. Nice clothes can be found at yard sales, thrift stores and second hand shops for very little. Just washing your face, brushing your hair and putting on decent clothes goes a long way though. I just don’t understand why people don’t care about the way they look. I’m not saying I look I look great all the time (believe me, I don’t), but unless I’m half dead I make an effort.

Are you guilty of this? Do you just not care what you look like when you go out? I’m not saying looks are everything, and you should judge people by outward appearances (but let’s be honest here, we all do, even though we know we shouldn’t), but think about the image you put out there. Does it project who you are? Are you a schlump? Are you a woman who puts all her effort into everything but herself? Be proud of yourself! Even if you think you’re overweight or out of shape or you’re tired (believe me, I’m there every day) or you have a million other things to do, take a few minutes for yourself and make an effort. Not only will you look better, you’ll feel better.

And now I’m getting off my soapbox. On which I wore kick ass shoes.

EDIT: Let me climb back up on my box (not as easy as you'd think in these shoes). After reading the comments, I would like to clarify that I'm not saying you should wear makeup every day to look good. Some people are allergic, and while that makes me a little sad for you, it's completely understandable. If you don't wear makeup, that's okay. Even if you don't wear makeup though, you can brush your hair and wear clean, non grubby clothes. Looking decent doesn't mean looking like a fashion plate. It just means you take some pride in your personal appearance. Now, could someone please help me down?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

*Germans love to protest. I don’t know why, perhaps because they were oppressed for so long that they take great pride in the fact that they can actually protest? Whatever. They’re really good at it. Very organized, and usually very peaceful. After I dropped Indy off at his German lessons today I got trapped in protest traffic. The Polezei had stopped all the traffic to let the protesters pass. They were students protesting….something. I couldn’t read exactly what they were protesting (note to self: learn more German), but they were students (probably from the University) and there were hundreds of them. It was pretty impressive. I was still mad about getting stuck in the traffic though.

*I miss commercials! Can you believe it? Me neither, but there you have it. AFN does not air commercials, so they fill the time with stupid little military commercials. LAME.

*AFN used to be called Armed Forces Network, but after 50 years, they decided Armed was too aggressive, so it was changed to American Forces Network. This happened right around the time we invaded Iraq. Anyone like a big slice of irony?

*Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that KitKat bar.

*I wish That 70’s Show hadn’t gone off the air. I love that show.

*My little piggies need a pedicure.

*Sometimes I miss being a stupid teenager without a care in the world. Life was so simple then. And I never had acne, so that’s a bonus.

*My ringtone on M’s phone is “Brickhouse”

*Sometimes I get really irritated at the recommendations from Amazon. Just because I looked at Stargate Atlantis once (for M), does not mean I want to know about every Sci-Fi show ever made. Seriously.

*I’m really apathetic about the American Idol Finale. I’m sure Adam is going to win, and while I like him, he’s just too Broadway for me.

*Where's my flying car? Aren't we supposed to have flying cars and robots by now?

*My computer is hot on my lap. Maybe it’s a sign I should end this? Yeah, probably. So, go read the other randomness!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Oh dear. I’m a bad blogger. Bad, bad, blogger. I have gotten awards! Several of them, and forgot to post. Oh, bad, bad, Mom in High Heels! I do not mean to be ungrateful, I swear to you I don’t, and I apologize from the bottom of my heart to the lovely bloggers who gave them to me.

I’m sorry and embarrassed to say I can’t remember who gave me these (hiding my head in shame).

I’m not feeling fabulous right now. :(

Or excellent.

Or Kreative. Maybe Kre8iv, but still a bad blogger.

Or even bubbly (though the little shoe is super cute).

But. BUT! I do know who gave me this award! Pan x 8 over at The Insanities of a Stay-At-Home Mom (girl, do I feel you!).

Again, I so apologize to the bloggers who gave me the first awards posts. I feel that, since I’m a bad blogger, I cannot pass them on, but I promise I do love them. Thanks to you all. And big fat bloggy kisses to each and every one of you. Purely platonic of course. ;)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

When I lived in the States, I didn’t watch Oprah very often, but now that I’m reduced to 8 channels of…pretty much nothing, I find myself watching her show almost daily. Sometimes I like the guests or topic, and sometimes, I don’t, but still, there’s little else on and laundry is boring, so I’ll watch. Even before I became a daily watcher though, I was obsessed with her earrings. I swear they are hypnotic and even if I’m not interested in he show, I find myself staring at her earrings. Isn’t that funny? I normally don’t even wear earrings myself, but I so want a pair of diamond earrings. Not just any old 1/4 or 1/2 carat studs. Not even 1 carat studs. No, no. I want Oprah diamonds. What are Oprah diamonds, you ask? Oprah diamonds are the kind that can blind you if he light hits them right. They’re HUGE. I so want them.

See? Gorgeous, aren’t they? Yes, I know Oprah works hard for what she has and blah, blah, blah, and I applaud her efforts, but darn it, I want those earrings! Look, even Oprah, can’t believe I don’t have some:

Actually, I couldn’t find a photo of my favorite pair (she has lots of diamond earrings). They are similar to the ones shown above, but they are princess cut (square) with larger princess cut drops. Man, I love those! They have to be a least 3-5 carats (each). I know coveting is wrong and one of the “deadly sins,” but I can’t help it, I covet those earrings. Where are my Oprah diamonds????

Do you have an odd obsession with something a celebrity wears? Am I just nuts? Don’t answer that.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Huzzah! Tuesday! You know how I love Tuesdays! Let’s just make with the randomness shall we?

*Why ARE there so many songs about rainbows? Really? WHY?

*Because it has to be asked: what is on the other side?

*Why isn’t it easy being green? I think Kermit should try being magenta or tangerine and see how difficult it is to blend. I think he’d appreciate his green-ness.

*Why does Miss Piggy have a thing for Kermit? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Kermit fan, he’s the only Muppet with any sense, but really, a pig and a frog? How would that even work? Ewwww…now I’m picturing it and it is not cool.

*If Miss Piggy is sooooo hot for Kermit, why does she flirt with Matt Lauer every time she’s on Today? Cause it ticks me off.

*Why am I on a Muppet kick this morning?

*Who did write the book of love? Cause I’d like to kick his @ss for making it so crazy.

*Did you know there was a talent show in China call the Mongolian Cow Sour Yoghurt Super Girl? Yeah, me neither, but Oprah says so, so it must be true. But why?

*Why is it so hard to get out of bed in the mornings?

*How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll Center of a Tootsie Pop? The owl totally bit.

*Why is it so easy to gain weight and yet so bloody hard to lose it?

*Why are Sloppy Joe’s called that?

*Why are there so many Star Trek movies?

*More importantly, why do people feel the need to speak Klingon? I mean I get that you like ST, but really? Really?

*Why do my abs hurt sooooooo much after yoga?

*Have you ever heard of naked yoga? I saw a poster for it the other day and thought, why would anyone do that? And then I thought, ewwww gross.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Okay, so I can join in on meta Monday (cause I love ‘em), I’m revealing my personal meta.

This is me around Jan.

And this is me after my haircut! Ta-da! I chopped about 8” of hair off (it looks longer because of all the layering). I’m still getting used to it, but I’m really liking how quickly I can do my hair in the mornings.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Do you ever feel all crazy inside? No? Just me? Okay then. Sometimes I just feel….like I need to do something. I get in a frump and then feel I have to do something nuts to get myself out of it. It usually works. Now, don’t get me wrong here, I’m not getting things pierced or tattooed (I’m too much of a chicken for that-I wanted drugs the moment I found out I was pregnant, you know, just in case). I prefer to go with something less permanent and painful.

Today I had an appointment to get my eyebrows threaded. Ever heard of that? It originated in India and has been used in Europe and the Middle East for decades (probably longer). My stylist is from Iran and said she learned to do it when she was about 12 (she now in her mid-50’s so she’s got some experience). I was very apprehensive. Waxing scares the beejeebers out of me and I really had no idea what I was in for. She took a spool of cotton thread and first tied it around her neck (for tension) then had about 3 feet hanging off. She folded it in half, twisted it up and ran it over my eyebrows. I can’t say it didn’t hurt, because it did, but not nearly as much as I expected. It took her less than 10 minutes to do both eyebrows and they look fantastic! They’ve never looked that good with waxing and the best part was there was no redness or swelling! Huzzah! But this is not the craziness.

I sat in the chair and here’s our conversation:

Me: You know what? I’m thinking about chopping off my hair.

Super Awesome Stylist (in her very odd accent that is a mixture of Iranian and German): NO! You have bea-utiful hair! You can’t!

Me: No, I’m really thinking about it.

SAS: If I had hair like yours I’d never cut it. Never, never, never.

Me: You say that, but if you had to seal with it every day, you’d think differently.

SAS: No, I would have a wonderful new style every day!

Me: For about a week, and then you’d get tired of it and pull it into a ponytail and feel like a schlump.

SAS: You might be right, but you cannot cut your hair!

Me: Yeah, I can. Or rather you can. Do you have time?

SAS: Right now?

Me: Yeah, before I lose my nerve.

SAS: Yes, but are you sure?

Me: Yes, let’s do it.

SAS: Sure?

Me: Yes.

Then we flipped through some style books and decided what would look best on me. She washed my hair, pulled it up in clips (you know, making me look super fancy), and got out the scissors. She combed a section in the back and prepared to cut.

SAS: Are you really sure? I don’t want to cut and then have you change your mind.

Me: It will grow back.

SAS: Okay. Here goes.

I almost fainted when I felt the cut and let out a squeal when I saw the 8 inch hunk of my hair lying on the ground. OMG! What did I just do? I swear I got dizzy and things spun for a moment. She kept clipping away and more of my hair fluttered to the floor. I looked at it lying there, sad, lifeless and waiting to be swept away. My poor hair! It was too late to turn back and she kept at it. When she was done she looked down and said she’d never cut so much hair off of one person. It looked like there was about 2 pounds of hair lying at her feet (I have got enough hair for about 3 people. It’s insane). I looked in the mirror and shook my much, much, much lighter head. It took a few moments for me to realize that I had actually had it cut off. She looked at me apprehensively, but I told her it was great, and it is. I left feeling lighter both literally and figuratively. The craziness I’ve been feeling for a few weeks seemed to evaporate. Isn’t it amazing what a haircut can do?

I don’t have any photos yet, but as soon as I do, I’ll post them. For now I can tell you that it’s bobbed shoulder length and heavily layered (because there’s so much of it). It frames my face and really looks great. My hair, in addition to being crazy thick, grows abnormally fast, so it’ll grow back, but for now, I like it. And it didn’t involve needles.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Have you heard? Have you? The Nester has written an ebook! I know, I’m crazy excited too! I signed up for mine, did I mention it’s free? No? Sorry about that. It is! FREE! I’m squealing with delight inside. Okay, maybe a smidge on the outside too, but I cannot firm or deny that. If you head over to the Nester, you can register for her “might be regular, might not be regular” newsletter and you will get a copy of the ebook. FOR FREE!

If you’ve never been to the Nester (and seriously is there any woman in blogland over the age 20 who hasn’t?), you are in for a treat. She. Will. Set. You. Free. Free from whatever is holding you back from making your house into the home you’ve always wanted. You may remember last Monday’s Meta. I love my great room and would never have been bold enough to do what I wanted if it weren’t for Nester. Go get your book and set yourself free.