Things that you don't really want to hear in an interview

So where do you find all those jobs to apply to? I haven't applied to many jobs lately only because I am so not qualified I don't even waste my time or theirs.

On the other hand, I one job I applied for actually sent me an application to fill out (still not herd back yet after a couple weeks) and another company found my profile on Linked In and set up a phone interview for Friday (and no, I am not qualified for that job from what I can make out so far, but they called, so, of course I will talk to them)

Indeed list jobs, and I have applied and was called as well as a few on Craigslist. Most of the jobs will never respond, but you have to keep going and some will respond, even if it is a phone interview, but usually they are for weeding people out as they ask more of the behavioral type of questions that they read from a sheet and write down what you say.

^ that being said, when a company asks if you'd be willing to relocate and you say yes, they really shouldn't take 1-2 months to get back to you.

This has happened with this one company twice, now. Last time took them 2 months before I got the rejection spam email, and now it's been 2 weeks since my phone interview with the round 1 rep. If you're serious about me, shouldn't you grab me up so I can start moving?

Nick in Somerville, Massachusetts said: It's sad when you have a better chance of winning a game show (where you're up against probably 9 other parties), than it is to land a full time job (where you're up against 99 other people or more).

That's how I think of it! Years ago, I wanted to get on the Price is Right. Showed up at 6:00 am in the morning and there were already 500 people in line. They chose about 30. I wasn't one of them.

WENDYBOSTON in BOSTON, Massachusetts said: My worst phone interview so far went like this: after a hello,tell me about your experience ... then the interviewer started annoyance:
1- We just started interviewing this week
2- We are looking more for a Senior Manager level, you are at a lower level
3- Interviewer read the job posting back to me and asked: are you sure this is what you are looking for?
4- How are your communication skills? seriously? we were on the phone
5- ... the "hiring manager" does not want anybody from the "financial industry ! come on .. My last 7 years of work have been in financial services industry, why did you even call me then
6- Do you have global experience? gee I worked for the two largest insurance company in the world. Is that global enough? or are we talking planets
7- What is your legal status? I hate this one, after this question I said US Citizen thanks for calling. Hanged up the phone in her face !!

Yep. I have had 1, 2, and 4. Don't blame you for hanging up on them. It is getting beyond ridiculous.

Bluetea in Texas said: You probably thought that the Thank You would tip the odds in your favor?

I have been hired 3 times in the past 10 years and never once sent a Thank You card. I guess they preferred the ill-mannered ones today. LOL!

Yeah, I did. But, not anymore. I figure, if they want me for the job, they will hire me, thank you or no thank you. I don't think they can hurt, unless an employer sees it as kissing up. But, I am so done with the thank yous. And NEVER again will I buy the fancy 24lb resume paper that costs $20 a box.

Nick in Somerville, Massachusetts said: the words "ninja, wizard, black belt, guy/girl Friday, guru, customer experience enthusiast," or any other wording that tries to put lipstick on a pig of a job.

I know it's job ad and not interview, but I just saw a bunch of this on CL.

You're funny - and so right. I spend a bit of time e-mailing from an e-mail that's unidentifiable - and I ream them for their asinine ads. Sometimes I get super sarcastic and let 'em know what creeps they are.

sighing in southern, New Jersey said: Yeah, I did. But, not anymore. I figure, if they want me for the job, they will hire me, thank you or no thank you. I don't think they can hurt, unless an employer sees it as kissing up. But, I am so done with the thank yous. And NEVER again will I buy the fancy 24lb resume paper that costs $20 a box.

WENDYBOSTON in BOSTON, Massachusetts said: 1- We just started interviewing this week

So? You have to start sometime. Your point, please?

WENDYBOSTON in BOSTON, Massachusetts said: 2- We are looking more for a Senior Manager level, you are at a lower level

Great! My goal is Senior Management.3- Interviewer read the job posting back to me and asked: are you sure this is what you are looking for?Why should I be unsure? After all, I read the job posting. Then I applied for the job. For that reason, it should be clear to you that I am sure.

I understand your words but please clarify your concerns. I am a native English speaker, reader and writer.

WENDYBOSTON in BOSTON, Massachusetts said: 5- ... the "hiring manager" does not want anybody from the "financial industry....

Review of my resume shows I do not have "financial industry" experience. Did you review it prior to calling me?

WENDYBOSTON in BOSTON, Massachusetts said: 6- Do you have global experience?

No...but I can convert my local time to GMT. I have placed long distance calls overseas. I collected stamps when I was a child. I learned more about geography from my stamp collection than I did in school. Will that suffice for you??

Had two sanity checks this past Thursday ... here is one and the other will follow:

1. RECRUITER: "Oh, yes, I did get your resume from "jane doe" with a fantastic recommendation. I actually ended up forwarding it to our Emerging Technologies department for a potential eCRM position we may create in 2013. Would you be interested in this?" ls.

ME: "Well, it's hard to say my level of interest without better understanding what the eCRM position actually entails. Do you have a role description that you could share with me? By the way, regarding the AccountDirector position that I submitted my resume and interest in ... have you already identified a preferred candidate and/or do you have any concern with my qualifications for that role?"

RECRUITER: "Unfortunately, no, I don't have a description for the eCRM role because at this time we don't even know if it will be approved. Yes, I believe you are a better fit for the eCRM role versus the Account Director role at this time based on your previous experience. But, that being said, we can still keep you in mind for the Account Director role. Let's plan to touch base after the New Year."

ME: "No thank you. I don't appreciate the run-around of you telling me that I am better qualified for a position that hasn't been approved and doesn't even exist (not even a description). I have spot-on qualifications, 15 years of Account Director experience and even executive recommendations."

RECRUITER: "Thanks Jon Doe!! If the hiring manager is interested then you can expect to be hearing from me real soon."

Tired of it in Lenexa, Kansas said: Had two sanity checks this past Thursday ... here is one and the other will follow:

1. RECRUITER: "Oh, yes, I did get your resume from "jane doe" with a fantastic recommendation. I actually ended up forwarding it to our Emerging Technologies department for a potential eCRM position we may create in 2013. Would you be interested in this?" ls.

ME: "Well, it's hard to say my level of interest without better understanding what the eCRM position actually entails. Do you have a role description that you could share with me? By the way, regarding the AccountDirector position that I submitted my resume and interest in ... have you already identified a preferred candidate and/or do you have any concern with my qualifications for that role?"

RECRUITER: "Unfortunately, no, I don't have a description for the eCRM role because at this time we don't even know if it will be approved. Yes, I believe you are a better fit for the eCRM role versus the Account Director role at this time based on your previous experience. But, that being said, we can still keep you in mind for the Account Director role. Let's plan to touch base after the New Year."

ME: "No thank you. I don't appreciate the run-around of you telling me that I am better qualified for a position that hasn't been approved and doesn't even exist (not even a description). I have spot-on qualifications, 15 years of Account Director experience and even executive recommendations."

RECRUITER: "Thanks Jon Doe!! If the hiring manager is interested then you can expect to be hearing from me real soon."

And the other ... a former EVP of Sales at a former FORTUNE company we both worked for. I managed/led the team of marketing and sales support individuals who provided support to his entire sales org and enabled him in many ways to close $300M+ in new revenue in 2006. We've known each other since 2005, have crossed-paths since and keep connected on Linkedin. Recently, his new employer had two postings for sales executive positions reporting through him. I have 15yrs sales/mktg experience SO I reached out via phone/email after applying. Here is how my follow-up emails went down:

ME: Hi "Jon Doe" just dropping a line to let you know that I remain interested in sales opportunities at XYZ company. As you know ... I have a considerable amount of health care, technology and client development experience. Maybe we could meet for coffee next week to explore fit?"

ME: "Mr. EVP, my resume sounds great over coffee, and amazing over a few beers. Which one can we make happen? Let me know."

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Now ... to some, I know that my response might have sounded rude and unprofessional. I disagree. I think he was disrespectful, rude and unprofessional. This person knows me on a personal level, but apparently doesn't respect me even after a very professional and productive prior working relationship. Furthermore, we are connected on Linkedin for hm to review if he wanted to. How would it feel if he called on a former client as a new prospect for a sales call and the former client just said to send a brochure? It would be one thing if a relationship didn't already exist, but when a relationship exists the respectful thing to do is at least allow a real live conversation.

I'm tired of being walked-on because I'm in transition driven by economic-circumstance out of my control.

Unemployed Paralegal in Denver, Colorado said: So? You have to start sometime. Your point, please? Great! My goal is Senior Management. Why should I be unsure? After all, I read the job posting. Then I applied for the job. For that reason, it should be clear to you that I am sure. I understand your words but please clarify your concerns. I am a native English speaker, reader and writer. Review of my resume shows I do not have "financial industry" experience. Did you review it prior to calling me? No...but I can convert my local time to GMT. I have placed long distance calls overseas. I collected stamps when I was a child. I learned more about geography from my stamp collection than I did in school. Will that suffice for you?? AFAIK I am "legal" and have "status." But I am not a status seeker. Otherwise, can you clarify your vague question?

This person was plain rude,I kept myself as calm as I could but after the "legal status" question, I exploded and I could not take it anymore.

Tired of it in Lenexa, Kansas said: Had two sanity checks this past Thursday ... here is one and the other will follow:

1. RECRUITER: "Oh, yes, I did get your resume from "jane doe" with a fantastic recommendation. I actually ended up forwarding it to our Emerging Technologies department for a potential eCRM position we may create in 2013. Would you be interested in this?" ls.

ME: "Well, it's hard to say my level of interest without better understanding what the eCRM position actually entails. Do you have a role description that you could share with me? By the way, regarding the AccountDirector position that I submitted my resume and interest in ... have you already identified a preferred candidate and/or do you have any concern with my qualifications for that role?"

RECRUITER: "Unfortunately, no, I don't have a description for the eCRM role because at this time we don't even know if it will be approved. Yes, I believe you are a better fit for the eCRM role versus the Account Director role at this time based on your previous experience. But, that being said, we can still keep you in mind for the Account Director role. Let's plan to touch base after the New Year."

ME: "No thank you. I don't appreciate the run-around of you telling me that I am better qualified for a position that hasn't been approved and doesn't even exist (not even a description). I have spot-on qualifications, 15 years of Account Director experience and even executive recommendations."

RECRUITER: "Thanks Jon Doe!! If the hiring manager is interested then you can expect to be hearing from me real soon."

ME: "REALLY?"

From this day on, I have decided that the first annoying comment or question from a hiring manager whether phone interview or in person. I will just stop say: "Actually I have just lost my interest in your company/position and any further discussion between us will be irrelevant and a waste of time. Please excuse me.

WENDYBOSTON in BOSTON, Massachusetts said: From this day on, I have decided that the first annoying comment or question from a hiring manager whether phone interview or in person. I will just stop say: "Actually I have just lost my interest in your company/position and any further discussion between us will be irrelevant and a waste of time.

If I did this I would never be employed again, ever, even if I had a 100 lifetimes.

I no longer believe anything I hear in an interview, the entire of interviewing is highly unnatural and very one sided. The interviewer will say and do many things that are contradictory to the conclusion and its often meaningless.

Nothing really means anything until you have a written offer with a contract.

Cheshire in Mississauga, Ontario said: I no longer believe anything I hear in an interview, the entire of interviewing is highly unnatural and very one sided. The interviewer will say and do many things that are contradictory to the conclusion and its often meaningless.

Nothing really means anything until you have a written offer with a contract.

See, you are learning. In lieu of your first paycheck, its all horse****. LOL!

I have definitely learned this, it really and truly is BS. How is interviewing even a feasible way to determine whether someone can do the job? its just bizarre.

How is one to make an impression amongst 10 other candidate? What to do when the interviewer is an egomaniac and only wants to talk about themselves? How to make an effective case when theres only two made up on the spot questions with no note taking?

What do they want?!? I'm groomed, relatively attracted, I smile, give a strong handshake, have a (from what I've been told) great resume with no gaps and a progressive work history, I articulate myself and have good answers for questions.

Then it becomes this line of thinking....did I do enough of this? not enough of that? ...a little too much of this and not enough of that?

It can't always come back to the interviewee. I refuse to believe that. I'm self aware enough to know what I'm doing and plan before hand. Who are these freaks running these interviews? How did they land their positions? How do they get away with being so unprofessional?

Bluetea in Texas said: I have walked out on on two, maybe three interviews. I wasn't nasty but it was pointless to continue.

There's a couple of interviews I was close to walking out of. I'm thinking there was a third one, but can't think of it at the moment.

One job was many years ago at some factory. I was young and stupid, but it still gives me the willies. The guy interviewing me kept putting his arm around my shoulder as we walked around the building. I didn't like it at all, but didn't know what to say. It was a crappy place to work besides that. I sure didn't like the old tub-o-lard getting so chummy with me. I wanted to run far away. Ick!

Joe Gagill in Monticello, New York said: I know. And how does the interviewer remember candidate 2 or 3 whom he interviewed 3 days ago?

Years ago they called in 1 person, if they did decent the job was theirs, if they bomb then they would call someone else in.

Real unemployment is something like 15%. They know.

Good posts, Cheshire.

I'm sure most interviewers decide on you right there in the interview. Many of them are just HR people/hiring managers and don't really know the nuts and bolts of the job. They won't be working with you. So they're basically just judging your character and responses. You know, playing God. Awful people, they are, for the most part.

Cheshire in Mississauga, Ontario said: I have definitely learned this, it really and truly is BS. How is interviewing even a feasible way to determine whether someone can do the job? its just bizarre.

How is one to make an impression amongst 10 other candidate? What to do when the interviewer is an egomaniac and only wants to talk about themselves? How to make an effective case when theres only two made up on the spot questions with no note taking?

What do they want?!? I'm groomed, relatively attracted, I smile, give a strong handshake, have a (from what I've been told) great resume with no gaps and a progressive work history, I articulate myself and have good answers for questions.

Then it becomes this line of thinking....did I do enough of this? not enough of that? ...a little too much of this and not enough of that?

It can't always come back to the interviewee. I refuse to believe that. I'm self aware enough to know what I'm doing and plan before hand. Who are these freaks running these interviews? How did they land their positions? How do they get away with being so unprofessional?

It sounds like you are feeling the frustration I have been feeling for the past number of years. Except you have been able to get more interviews (I might suspect due to different fields).

Cheshire in Mississauga, Ontario said: I have definitely learned this, it really and truly is BS. How is interviewing even a feasible way to determine whether someone can do the job? its just bizarre.

How is one to make an impression amongst 10 other candidate? What to do when the interviewer is an egomaniac and only wants to talk about themselves? How to make an effective case when theres only two made up on the spot questions with no note taking?

What do they want?!? I'm groomed, relatively attracted, I smile, give a strong handshake, have a (from what I've been told) great resume with no gaps and a progressive work history, I articulate myself and have good answers for questions.

Then it becomes this line of thinking....did I do enough of this? not enough of that? ...a little too much of this and not enough of that?

It can't always come back to the interviewee. I refuse to believe that. I'm self aware enough to know what I'm doing and plan before hand. Who are these freaks running these interviews? How did they land their positions? How do they get away with being so unprofessional?

Cheshire in Mississauga, Ontario said: I have definitely learned this, it really and truly is BS. How is interviewing even a feasible way to determine whether someone can do the job? its just bizarre.

How is one to make an impression amongst 10 other candidate? What to do when the interviewer is an egomaniac and only wants to talk about themselves? How to make an effective case when theres only two made up on the spot questions with no note taking?

What do they want?!? I'm groomed, relatively attracted, I smile, give a strong handshake, have a (from what I've been told) great resume with no gaps and a progressive work history, I articulate myself and have good answers for questions.

Then it becomes this line of thinking....did I do enough of this? not enough of that? ...a little too much of this and not enough of that?

It can't always come back to the interviewee. I refuse to believe that. I'm self aware enough to know what I'm doing and plan before hand. Who are these freaks running these interviews? How did they land their positions? How do they get away with being so unprofessional?

So very strange how you being from Canada you go thru the same thing us Americans are going thru in regards to the job search. We should just invade you guys and make it one big country and make Donald Trump king.

Joe Gagill in Monticello, New York said: So very strange how you being from Canada you go thru the same thing us Americans are going thru in regards to the job search. We should just invade you guys and make it one big country and make Donald Trump king.

Oh trust me, thinks aren't all fine and dandy here either. Thing is, the media doesn't report on it as much, I'll see information but it's not front page news. I know new grads are struggling and people have said to me more than once how tough things are out there. Its just not a happy topic, so nobody wants to discuss at length. They'd rather pretend it doesn't exist and keep info to themselves. We really are getting competitive, in more ways than one.

I will gladly share info with my peers including giving them company names and offering to let them use me as a referral, I have started believing in karma. Plus, lets face it in terms of reality should something come up in the future who is going to be more inclined to help me out?

Parafreegal in Chicago, Illinois said: Real unemployment is something like 15%. They know.

Good posts, Cheshire.

I'm sure most interviewers decide on you right there in the interview. Many of them are just HR people/hiring managers and don't really know the nuts and bolts of the job. They won't be working with you. So they're basically just judging your character and responses. You know, playing God. Awful people, they are, for the most part.

Agreed 100%, somedays I feel like I should just go into recruiting. Seems like they'll take anyone.

I have a feeling I'm coming across too serious as well. I'm not bubbly and giggly enough. My responses are too blunt and lean on the more practical side of things rather than the creative ones. I also feel that my lack of ability to make small talk is really interfering, my mind goes blank and all I can do is smile. I really need to work on that.

If you were, my former attorney-boss would love you. He always waxed eloquently about one of his former (female) paralegals and her bubbly personality. It made me want to barf. He complained that my relationship with him was too stiff and formal. What did he want? A professional relationship or a bubbly one?

Cheshire in Mississauga, Ontario said: My responses are too blunt and lean on the more practical side of things rather than the creative ones. I also feel that my lack of ability to make small talk is really interfering, my mind goes blank and all I can do is smile. I really need to work on that.

I can tell from your posts that you are someone who is well prepared for her interviews, so just be yourself.

QUOTE who="Unemployed Paralegal in Denver, Colorado"]If you were, my former attorney-boss would love you. He always waxed eloquently about one of his former (female) paralegals and her bubbly personality. It made me want to barf. He complained that my relationship with him was too stiff and formal. What did he want? A professional relationship or a bubbly one?

I think this depends, people want to work with those they like and feel they can talk too/have some sort of relationship with. This makes some sense to me, if you're working 40-60hrs a week you want to surround yourself with likeminded people.

I've read so many blogs/articles what have you, that that talk about how hiring managers are now asking more questions about your interests and what you do outside of work rather than technical ones....which while it strikes me as weird, just proves the point.

What you can do and how you've done it in the past is just a way now to get in front of the hiring manager and get an interview.

How to answer 'tell me something about yourself not related to work?' or 'what do you do in your spare time?' are the focus here. I find it sad at the same time...why would an organization want a group of clones? It just leads to 'groupthink' you're not getting any original ideas or diversity.

Cheshire in Mississauga, Ontario said: I think this depends, people want to work with those they like and feel they can talk too/have some sort of relationship with. This makes some sense to me, if you're working 40-60hrs a week you want to surround yourself with likeminded people.

At the outset, this anal attorney was not bubbly. Far from it; he had a bad sense of humor and did not comprehend dry humor.

That attorney took advantage of this gal's apparent naivety. He and the firm investigator played practical jokes on her. He told me a story something to the effect that a cop had nailed her for speeding. According to the attorney, she told him her speedometer was inop. She didn't understand why. According to this attorney, he and the firm investigator explained to her that a mouse or hamster running a treadmill operated the speedometer. She then exclaimed, "NO SIR!!"

Maybe I'm more serious about things than some people, but I found his actions in this instance to be rather juvenile.

Cheshire in Mississauga, Ontario said: How to answer 'tell me something about yourself not related to work?' or 'what do you do in your spare time?' are the focus here. I find it sad at the same time...

It's NYOB. Also a way to be rejected.

I like football. What if the interviewer hates football or despises sports altogether? I exercise. What if the interviewer is some fatass prediabetic whose doctor has repeatedly lectured him/her to put down the Dunkin Donuts and get on that treadmill?

If I noticed knickknacks in the office that indicate an interest and I have a like interest, I would mention it; I think that doing so in one interview helped me get a job. Otherwise, I would give some hopefully innocuous answer or, depending on the situation, ask how it relates to doing the job.

Cheshire in Mississauga, Ontario said: How is one to make an impression amongst 10 other candidate? ...What do they want?!?

If you get to the interview stage, then something you've done impressed them. NO one wants to do job interviews just to do them, and the fewer candidates they have to talk to the better.

At this point, it's often just getting a sense that your resume isn't BS, and that you're a good cultural fit, and there are no unpleasant surprises. That alone is the reason why interviews are required. It's expensive to onboard a new hire, so they don't want to make a mistake so easily avoided by interviewing.

When I did recruiting, this veteran recruiter in my office needed help brainstorming how to diplomatically tell a Sr SW Dev engineer that he blew a $120K job with amazing benefits because he showed up at the face to face interviews with the client with pungent body odor. It's an extreme example, but the things people do to botch interviews are endless.

They do know you're nervous when you interview; and yeah, there are certainly some jerks who are antagonist or try to sabotage candidates. It's unprofessional, but it happens.

When the people involved know how to conduct interviews, they're looking at so many factors, and usually it's the soft skills that will be the deciding factor. There's often an evaluation form they use post-interview (or even during) that includes the questions to ask, and an scoring section. They usually know pretty quickly who goes into the slush pile, and who merits additional consideration. And when it comes time to the final decision, it's often something really small that means Candidate A gets the offer instead of Candidate B even though they both would clearly be able to do the job.

jenab in Austin, Texas said: If you get to the interview stage, then something you've done impressed them. NO one wants to do job interviews just to do them, and the fewer candidates they have to talk to the better.....When the people involved know how to conduct interviews, they're looking at so many factors, and usually it's the soft skills that will be the deciding factor. There's often an evaluation form they use post-interview (or even during) that includes the questions to ask, and an scoring section. They usually know pretty quickly who goes into the slush pile, and who merits additional consideration. And when it comes time to the final decision, it's often something really small that means Candidate A gets the offer instead of Candidate B even though they both would clearly be able to do the job.

I think for me its continously coming across people who DON'T know how to interview, and a lack of connection between myself and the interview....so I need to work on my soft skills. My resume has no exaggeration/lies on it. I wouldn't be able to keep it up.

Cheshire in Mississauga, Ontario said: I think for me its continously coming across people who DON'T know how to interview, and a lack of connection between myself and the interview....so I need to work on my soft skills. My resume has no exaggeration/lies on it. I wouldn't be able to keep it up.

You don't strike me as someone who would exaggerate; unfortunately employers can't really tell that until they talk to people. Job titles mean nothing, and resumes don't get you the job.

I know I tend to encounter people who don't leave much room for me to talk. It's harder to develop a conversation when it's so one-sided, but being prepped with stories of how my past work experience relates to their job req helps. Although sometimes even that doesn't help.

You seem very articulate here; are you comfortable talking to strangers?