Gilfert: Remembering mothers of the past

Sunday

May 14, 2017 at 6:00 AM

My grandmother's mother, great-grandma Wade, was a dear old lady who lived alone after great-grandpa died in her tiny house across the street from my grandmother and grandfather and their family. I visited her often when I was a little girl. I loved her house and all the interesting little ornaments she had from the past. She had a small glass table full of glass-blown figurines of dogs, cats, fairies and birds. My sisters and I had to be very careful with them as they were quite fragile. I believe great-grandma must have promised to leave those ornaments to all of us at one time or another.

Great-grandma rarely left the house except to tend her garden full of flowers or pick the grapes or peaches that grew in her yard. She always wore a cotton house dress, an apron and lace up shoes with what we called a Cuban heel or carpet slippers. I don't think she ever got her haircut. She wore it pulled back in a bun. When great-grandma was young the girls wore bustles but she bragged that she didn't need one.

My other great-grandmother Bowman was the wife of a farmer. They lived on a beautiful farm back in the hills of Pennsylvania with a little brook running through it. We loved to visit there when they celebrated great-grandfather's birthday every July. Great-grandpa was an invalid so she and her daughter and son-in-law ran the farm. They raised their children by hand and by the grace of God.

My grandmothers were more conscious of their appearance and curled their hair and wore makeup. I remember my Grandma Newton in a cotton house dress with stockings knotted just below the knee and her curly iron gray hair. She and grandpa had two girls and five boys. Grandma Stitt was a tiny lady who lived next door to us. They were both housewives with little education who never worked outside the home. They did have special rayon dresses, hats and gloves that they wore to church on Sundays. Grandma Stitt had four boys and two girls.

Life began to get interesting with my mother's generation. The girls in the early 20th century bobbed their hair, wore makeup, shortened their skirts, rouged their knees, danced the black bottom and wore buckle boots with the buckles open. The open buckles caused the boots to flap, prompting the name flappers. This was the generation that acquired the vote though most of them didn't use it. Some of them even worked outside the home. These were the mothers who sent their sons off to WWII, some of them gold-star mothers.

If you remember permanent wave machines that cooked your hair into tight little curls, one- piece gym outfits and hightop sneakers, war time rationing and women in industry, you are of my generation, the generation of the 30's and 40's who suffered through the depression and WWII. This was the generation of the first truly liberated woman. We had the vote and were needed in the war effort so many of us worked outside the home for the first time. It was a harsh era for everyone and women proved themselves worthy of the task. They helped build ships and air planes and all the munitions needed for a sustained war. They made the difference. This is when women really became interested in politics and not only voted but ran for office. The war made them acutely aware that politicians could change their own personal lives. They did all this and still raised large families and bullied them all into church on Sundays.

Do you remember poodle skirts, hula hoops, free love, drugs and rock 'n' roll bands? It wasn't easy being a mother in those days because this is what your children were into. No matter how vigilant you thought you were, this was a time when 16-year-olds drove cars and traveled far afield of parental authority. This was also the time of integration which had to come but it made life more complicated for both black and white parents. Our children were way ahead of us and forced us to learn a new kind of sensitivity. We knew it was long overdue.

Our children, the Millennials, made parenting a new kind of game. Most of their children were raised by grandma, babysitters or day care centers. While mothers worked to help support the family, they sometimes lost touch with what their children were learning. It took conscientious parents to keep track of their youngsters progress in school and socially and what they were being taught outside the home. Their children are now raising their own children. All we can do is wait and see the outcome.

Whether you celebrate your mother on Mother's Day or your grandmother or your wife remember all the mothers who have gone before her and the legacy of love they have left you.

Nina Gilfert is a columnist for the Daily Commercial. Email her at gilfertnina@yahoo.com.