Why I’m a phony?

No. I think we are all human. I think some of us try to focus on the positive. And if you are promoting your business, lifestyle, coaching or positioning yourself as an expert…you should have ALL your shit together.

A. This is a perfectionist trap.
B. This would mean you would have to live in a hut in the middle of nowhere ALONE with all your needs taken care of.

You know…conditions would have to be PERFECT. Hahahaha! My life in in New Jersey. I have five kids. They are all spirited with complex personalities. Obviously all kids are, but most of mine are fiery. Wonder where they get it from. 😉

Even if you are just on social media for fun, you are not being 100% authentic. I try to be heart authentic as possible, but I’m not posting pics of my junk drawers (yes, plural) or how my bathrooms need to be cleaned. Does this mean people can’t know the real me. The real me is ALL of it, good, babd, and ugly but lots of times I can’t post stuff related to other people in my life and it’s their business anyway. Does it hold me back as a writer and blogger…at times yes. Does it hold me back as a life coach, to not post all the rawness? No, but dealing with it makes me a better life coach, as I gain more experience, wisdom, knowledge, compassion, clarity, and focus. You should know I talk to coaches all the time and behind-the-scenes they are struggling, working on, or dealing with something they don’t post about. They are still being authentic and not phony. They may use filters on their photos. I do all the time. They use retouched photos for their ads and it’s just smart business. Let’s let go of judging others and ourselves so harshly. Let people own their best selves and cheer them on as they get closer to it. I’m cheering you all on and don’t judge you for where you are now. It’s just today. Your future self is being created right now.

So if you think you know me from social media, just like all of us, you get a snippet of my life. Not everyone can be in our private life. I hope you all have friends who can help you when you are going through something…because some people never let anyone in. If you are going through relationship problems with a partner, child, parent, sibling, or friend, sometimes it’s hard to talk about as it confirms it to be real. Or we may cry if we start talking. I have had some really stressful things going on lately (not with the hubs so don’t even get any ideas-LOL!). I don’t post this on social media, but I will share what I learn on the other side. If it looks like I am a phony because I post happy things, pretty selfies, and inspiring quotes and you know in my “real life” I have what you would call “problems”…that’s on you. I am being me in the best way I can. Going on rants online is not my thing. Problems are opportunities for solutions. Just like questions are creating answers. It’s all about perspective. There is juice in all of it to be gained. Be easy on yourself and others. Everyone has got some “stuff.”

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