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I’ve Already Ruined Halloween

We are still on summer break, but I’ve already ruined
Halloween. Yep, I’m on the Worst Mommy
Ever List for a holiday that is still 2.5 months away.

It started when we got a high-end Halloween costume catalog
in the mail. Instead of doing something
rational like rip it to shreds and swallow the pieces, I showed it to my
kids. As of today, it’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.

“Mama, can I be Elsa?” my daughter pleaded. Because I was busy looking through the water
bill, I said, “Sure.” I didn’t realized
that she meant she wanted the exact Elsa costume featured in the glossy pages
of the most expensive costume catalog in the free world. The cost? $130.

“Sweetie, we’ll see,” I said, thinking I’d buy her a more
modest version at Target. Judging by her
keening, she didn’t think that was good enough. She wanted the one with the hand-sewn sequence and genuine fur trim.

As if an Elsa gown that cost more than my prom dress
(adjusted for the 20 plus years’ inflation) wasn’t bad enough, there were
accompanying costumes for dolls. Of course there were.

The tiny doll costumes sold for the bargain price of
$50.

If I could just cancel Halloween this year, I would.

“I want the matching doll dress,” My daughter begged. No, you’re not Suri Cruise, so you can’t have
a Halloween get-up that costs almost $200. (Mind you, it’s still August.)

I had to fix this. I
turned to Costco. They were already
displaying racks of Halloween costumes at price points for me and the rest of
the 99 percent. I stuffed both my kids in a
cart and did the hard sell. “Look,
kids! Snow White! OhMyGod! What a cool pirate costume!” My
daughter was still pouting about the Elsa gown, but my son was an easy
mark. I walked away with a Spider-man
costume for under $25.

SCORE!

The problem? He’s
changed his mind. Three times. As of
five minutes ago, he wants to be Wolverine, but he’s already ripped the tags
off his Spider-man costume and spilled yogurt on it. Now he bursts into hysterical tears every. single.
time. we go to Costco because he wants a “better” costume. They’ve ruined my happy place.

Ya’ll, it’s not even September and my kids are dehydrated from all the
crying. If I could just cancel Halloween
this year, I would. Besides, I need the
time to think through my Christmas strategy, because all I can think of right
now is that I’ll have to eat all the catalogs.