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Hello,I need advice

garbi01

Posted 08 February 2014 - 07:01 PM

garbi01

Members

8 posts

Guess I have to post 5 messages to start a topic, but I've ran into some issues in my marriage and need a lot of help. Basically just got caught about an hour and a half ago, and this is my first step. I'm 40 and been married since my early 20s and we are having problems and I'm the cause.

FresnoJoe

Posted 08 February 2014 - 09:36 PM

MorningGlory

Posted 08 February 2014 - 10:10 PM

MorningGlory

Royal Member

Royal Member

32,794 posts

Hi, garbi01, and welcome to Worthy. I don't know what kind of advice you need but I will offer prayer for your marriage. If you believe you're at fault then you should pray for forgiveness. Are you a believer?

Spock

Posted 08 February 2014 - 10:11 PM

Spock

Senior Member

Senior Member

1,312 posts

Guess I have to post 5 messages to start a topic, but I've ran into some issues in my marriage and need a lot of help. Basically just got caught about an hour and a half ago, and this is my first step. I'm 40 and been married since my early 20s and we are having problems and I'm the cause.

Well, the good news is you are taking ownership for the problem- well done and bravo. In addition, bravo for turning to God through Gods people when in trouble. Speaking from experience, I know this pleases him when we do that. He is Father after all.

As you know, we have a forum just for people like you. I'm sure you will find people there more than willing to come besides you and assist you in your time of need. All you need to do is respond to everyone who greets and you will have five within an hour.

Willa

Posted 08 February 2014 - 10:32 PM

Willa

Royal Member

Royal Member

2,738 posts

Have you ever given your life to Jesus Christ and asked Him to make it to be like His?
Have you ever asked Christ to come into your life, turned away from your sinfulness and turned to Him for salvation?
Have you made Christ the center of your marriage so that you pray aloud with and for your wife every day?

This is where you must begin.
Then you become a servent as Christ did when He gave us his position in heaven to become a man, a servent. Let this mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus as in Philippeans 2. Become the head of your household by your unselfish example.

It doesn't happen over night. But it is where you must begin. In 1 Corinthinians 6:9 we are told that adulterers shall not enter the kingdom of God. You sinned first against God, and then to your wife. But verse 11 goes on to say that such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified by the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

True repentance mean turning away from your sin and falling on your face before God, asking for mercy. David, after his adultry with Bathsheba, then had her husband killed! Yet God called him a man after his own heart because of his true repentance. But David suffered the consequences for his sin. There is no guarentee that your wife will forgive you or that you will ever regain her trust. You have no idea how wounded and betrayed she feels. It will take time and you must prove yourself to her. Your whole family will feel the consequences. Go to God first. Completely break off your relationship with the other woman and never contact her again.. That is repentance. Then seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness whether your marriage is ever repaired or not. Become a man of God. Read your Bible and pray daily.

alien224

Posted 08 February 2014 - 10:37 PM

anthonyjmcgirr

Posted 08 February 2014 - 11:30 PM

anthonyjmcgirr

Junior Member

Junior Member

208 posts

I will also be praying! Whatever you were caught doing, make sure you are honest. Don't make excuses. Own up to it and work on bettering yourself. Getting right with God first is the most important and He will help you through the rest of your journey. If you need anymore help or guidance, feel free to message me any time. God bless you!

garbi01

Posted 09 February 2014 - 12:02 AM

garbi01

Members

8 posts

I will also be praying! Whatever you were caught doing, make sure you are honest. Don't make excuses. Own up to it and work on bettering yourself. Getting right with God first is the most important and He will help you through the rest of your journey. If you need anymore help or guidance, feel free to message me any time. God bless you!

garbi01

Posted 09 February 2014 - 12:39 AM

Sunflower

Posted 16 February 2014 - 03:53 AM

Sunflower

Members

54 posts

Guess I have to post 5 messages to start a topic, but I've ran into some issues in my marriage and need a lot of help. Basically just got caught about an hour and a half ago, and this is my first step. I'm 40 and been married since my early 20s and we are having problems and I'm the cause.

I will keep you in my prayers. Just know that there's no sin that God will not forgive. He is a forgiving God, and He will meet you where you are at. All the best, and be blessed.

kwikphilly

Posted 16 February 2014 - 04:37 AM

kwikphilly

Royal Member

Royal Member

4,874 posts

Blessings Garbi,,,,,

Many of us would be more than happy to talk with you ,offer support & encouragement....you can PM me if you like but let me suggest you read some posts for a little bit & see who you feel comfortable with & ask the Lord to direct your footsteps......this is something that is probably very personal(as marriage is)& delicate and we have public forums that you may get alot of feedback ....it is good when 2 or 3 witness & confirm what the others say-ACCORDING TO THE WORD OF GOD Also it is well to remember that here in the different forums we do have Watchmen(moderators) to be sure everything posted is not in contrast or opposing Scripture & in compliance with the TOS,,,,,,just a little advice ,it is good to know who you are talking to ,garbi,I woud not want to see anyone confide in someone that knows less than the person asking the question-LOL

I will certainly lift you in prayer & maybe you could tell us a wee bit more so we could know what kind of advice would be most helpful,,,,,,,,,,,,The thing is "you got caught',would you have changed or did anything differently if you had not?How was your relationship of 20 years before this incident?Are you both Christians?

In the mean time,I do want to welcome you to Worthy & encourage you to seek the Lord & pray for the heart & Mind of Christ,& by the Power of the Holy Spirit be revealed Wisdom & Guidance............God Bless you

Donibm

Posted 24 February 2014 - 09:07 PM

If a man burns his own home to the ground, should I pray that God give him a new home?

If a father beats his children severely, and the social workers take them away, should I pray the God return them?

I'm not understanding what I should be praying for. This is not contention, this is simply not knowing. I get the "call for help" among the brethren who are being attacked, or afflicted. That is a call to WAR! I know that very well. But, when someone says that the source of the problem is them, but no explanation provided, I cannot contribute to something that God may be completely displeased about.

A man who get's a sex change, and converts, must still bear the consequences of his sin ... perhaps all the days of his life ... even though he is now redeemed and forgiven. That is the consequence of sin. Sometimes, even the blessing of God are lasting (just ask Jacob who had his hip dislocated, and seen even at a very old age "leaning" on his staff - he was a cripple because of God dislocating his hip).

"My fault" could be a lack of communication, or understanding. I get that. I'm guilty of the myself.

"My fault" could be an angry reaction.

"My fault" could be a very bad financial habit ... or some other habit.

But, if "my fault" is something that is related to SIN, no way can I pray for restoration of marriage, when a restoration to God through repentance is not even mentioned. No way can I offer up to God when the core of the thing is unknown. It is putting clean cloth over an uncleaned wound - it will be ineffective. I'll certainly not pray for the promotion or excuse of any sin.

I can pray, and have prayed, however, for a change of heart, and wisdom, and repentance. My prayer is to gun at the CORE (whatever it is) and to start on YOUR heart, not your situation (again, cloth over uncleaned wounds are ineffective). Why? Because I know the ORDER of restoration. Restoration BEGINS in the persons heart, then repentance, then wisdom and obedience, then restoration. Bypassing all of that and gunning straight for restoration ... is... as I've typed ... clean cloth over and uncleaned wound.

You say you "got caught" and "this is your FIRST step".

That is concerning. Would you change if your DIDN'T "get caught"? So, where is the changed heart?

And your "first step" is to come here? Why? Why not with God? Why not with your wife? Why not settle that situation there? And does your wife even want you sharing this story? There isn't much wisdom in this reaction. I'm married, and while I'll be the first to call for prayer help in spiritual, financial, or physical warfare ... I certainly would not for any other reason, not even among the Brethren.

I hope you are able to get the CORE of this situation deal with.

Jesus Christ is the answer.

But some sins, and some deeds, and even some blessings ... have lasting consequences.

This is my opinion. I'm sorry that I'm not your average or typical Christian, running to God or typing words on a webpage, rebuking what they do not know, or blessing the same. I'm sorry for that, though not sorry about my stance. You must FIRST clean the wound, then the clean bandages will help it to heal. But even then, even wounds can leave permanent scars. Once the wound has been cleaned, I hope that restoration will come to your home, and that Jesus will be the center of your home, and that you and your wife will be devout, and good examples of what overcomers can be ... so that your testimony will encourage other couples.