ramblings of an entrepreneurial madman

Funny how my goal was to be a millionaire at this point and I’m not even fucking close. I’m on the right path, I’m positive about that however it’s just taking so fucking long. I’m still broke as shit and still trying to get this company to take off. Our marketing is still a nightmare. Every campaign we try just fucking fails and I don’t understand what the problem is. There is such a huge market for this service and we can’t seem to be getting people out there to see that.

One thing I’m beginning to notice is that more and more companies are doing this and I’m worried about competition. We need to establish ourselves as heavy hitters before shit gets out of hand. That’s not going to happen closing a deal or two a month, so we need to figure this shit out fucking fast. I need, at a bare minimum, 100 properties on the books AND paying before the end of the year – no questions asked.

One thing that really pissed me off is that my business partner just decided to take a week long vacation this week and it’s the worst time imaginable. For him to just leave when we are struggling with this shit really pisses me off. We need to get this turned around and I’m beginning to think if I personally don’t turn it around, it’s not going to happen at all.

I’ve done a few small test mailing campaigns just to see the type of response we get. It’s something completely different and I hope it generates some calls. If it works it is easily scaleable so we’ll see. Our last mail campaign was a fucking bust. What else is new right??

I’m having trouble sleeping over this because once we get this one issue figured out the sky is the limit.

I haven’t been blogging much because there isn’t much to talk about other then my repeated failures. I keep hoping that I’ll have something positive to write but it never happens.

Hopefully that day will come soon.

Apparently after Whitney Houston died, everyone was searching for “whitney houston crack head” because my blog got a shitload of traffic from that keyword.

Like this:

My birthday is Feb 24th and I can’t believe I’m turning 30. It feels like just the other day I was partying at college just enjoying life and ever since graduating I’ve been fighting for my financial survival. If there is anything I’ve learned in the past 7 years, it’s that this shit isn’t supposed to be easy. If it were, then we’d have an entire nation of rich-ass motherfucker’s who don’t appreciate their wealth.

We’re dropping some money on a big marketing campaign and I hope to fucking God this is the “one” because we’ve tried so much shit – none of which has worked. I just want that phone to blow up so I can know for a fact; it’s happening, it’s going to work…

This past weekend the Giants won the Superbowl and I’m a diehard fan so I was stoked about that! The only problem was that I ended up drinking way to much and I’m trying to watch my budget, so for the rest of this month I have to keep a tighter lid on my shit.

Anyways, goals for February!! Well first off, we need to get the damn phone ringing. I guess that’s the most important thing right now because if we can do that, the deals will come. I’d like to have almost 10 deals total by the end of the month but I’m not sure about that. Who knows though. If this marketing push we’re doing this week works out, it very well may happen.

It looks like my goal of being a legitimate millionaire by the time I’m 30 was an epic failure but if it occurs in the next year or two I won’t complain too much, I just need to see something positive here. I’ve lost count of how many things I’ve tried that didn’t work out. I’m sick and fucking tired of it.

Unfortunately it’s not looking to good right now and who knows how the rest of today is going to pan out. I typed up a proposal on everything we can do for the investor and just emailed it this morning. Depending on his response, my business partner and I will call him on Monday to discuss. If we end up needing to talk to him on Monday, we are going to kick his ass because the guy is just dragging his feet and not getting anything done. I even said in the email that I’d fly out to see him if he is serious so we shall see. He never sent the email with the info we were waiting on and at this point just seems like he is wasting everyone’s time.

The email literally said everything that could be said given the amount of information he had given us in previous conversations. So if it can’t be done, at least I can honestly say to myself that I did everything I could and this guy was just full of shit. Hopefully he reads the email and feels we can come to an agreement. From there I’d fly out to see him and hammer this fucker out.

I turn 29 today which gives me exactly 1 year to hit my goal. I think the thing that’s been most bothering me lately is that I don’t feel I’m any better off financially then I was when I first graduated college 6 years ago. It’s a very frightening thought. I’m single and don’t have any kids, so now is the time to take risks and chances but am I ever going to give this up or just keep struggling forever until I hit the big time? My business partner is 61 and he doesn’t seem to be willing to give up so I guess that has to be my mentality as well.

There are a few things I know about myself and it’s what I’m constantly battling with internally. I know that I absolutely hate working for someone else and that I’ll be miserable and 10 times more depressed if I get a 9-5 desk job. I also know that the job won’t last much longer than 6 months before I end up quitting. I just won’t be able to handle it anymore.

So getting a job would only provide some temporary supplemental income and nothing more.

I also know that the financial goals I’ve set for myself will never be achieved working for someone else, so again it’s hard for me to stay motivated and happy if I end up getting a job.

I know that I love being my own boss, I love having the freedom to make my own decisions and I know that numerous friends and family members believe in me and sincerely feel that I do have what it takes to make it big. I do not think they are just saying things such as “you can do it,” without really meaning it. My friend, whom is living on my couch has told me numerous times that he does not feel I’m a “salesman” per say but rather a businessman/business owner and he does think I have the intelligence to own and run a successful company.

My family continues to support me despite my financial struggles and you would think that if anyone were to tell me, “Cut the shit and get a fucking job,” it would be my father or my mother; yet they never said that. They keep telling me to not give up because they believe…

I believe too but my perseverance and self-resolve is definitely being tested and is wearing thin. Even if I don’t make a million dollars over night, I need to at least see some steps in the right direction and so far that hasn’t been happening at all. Time has just been wasted and no progress has been made, however this might all change with the email response I get from this investor; who knows.

By Monday I will know without a doubt if this thing has any chance of survival. If it doesn’t then I need to begin thinking about what I’m going to do from that point forward.

I just have to believe with unwavering faith that I have what it takes and that it will happen soon. I have to believe it undoubtedly to be true; there is nothing more I can do.

My cat just sits and stares at me sometimes. I really don’t know what he wants or what he’s trying to say but it freaks me out. He’s doing it right now as I type this…

Anyways, on my dry erase board I’ve written out the entire week and my goals to get accomplished so hopefully everything happens according to plan. A lot of these goals are reliant on other people so things will most likely have to be adjusted as the week progresses, but this is how I have things planned as of today.

Monday is going to be quiet. Its President’s day and not much is going on. I have to drop off my tax info for my accountant on my way to the gym. It’s all of the documentation from my debt settlement business last year. The filing date for business taxes is March 15th not April 15th so I need to get her that shit ASAP.

Tuesday I have the conference call scheduled with our business associate. My business partner is out of town until the end of the week but will be on the call. We are basically going to tell her where this deal is heading and see what her thoughts are and whether or not she feels it’s doable. Hopefully we are on the same page and she feels she can make it work. It would also be nice if we got that info from the investor before we had the conference call. He mentioned he is planning on completing it over the weekend but I’m not holding my breath. He has told us numerous times that he would get us that info and never has. To be honest, I’m not overly concerned about it anymore. I think he is waiting to see if we can give him everything he wants before he even wastes his time with an email.

Wednesday, if the conference call goes well with our business associate, I plan on emailing or calling the investor and letting him know what we came up with and see what his thoughts are. If it meets his criteria and he is satisfied, then we need to get this shit going and kick his ass because it basically means we have a deal(verbally) and now it’s time to get the paperwork out of the way. My goal that was set at the beginning of the month still stands. I would like an agreement or contract to be exchanged by both parties, or at the very least be in the process of being exchanged.

Thursday my business partner may be coming back from out of town. He said he might be back Friday which I feel is a more reasonable expectation. Regardless, whenever he does get back I know he will want to sit down the next morning for a meeting so I’m expecting that to take place Friday or Saturday morning. It is also my birthday on Thursday and I don’t plan on doing anything. I only want one thing for my birthday; to close this fucking deal. I’m not telling anyone about it because I don’t want anyone to lose focus on what we’ve been working towards these last two months.

On Friday, the absolute latest, I should be receiving the estate check from my grandmother! YAY! God it was such a pain in the ass getting this done but it’s finally over (3 years later)! My cousin emailed me yesterday to let me know he is putting the checks in the mail today. Since its President’s day, the post offices are closed, so I’m expecting to receive the check by the end of the week. 10k isn’t a lot of money, but it will definitely help ease the pressure of my finances for the next 6-8 months and allow me to really focus on getting this deal done. Also, it will give me the money to fly out to see this investor if need be, so I’m happy about that. I’ve already priced out tickets to see him and they are relatively cheap; only a couple hundred bucks. If I go and buy a ticket, hotel, and car rental, I can probably do the entire trip for under a grand which is good. It will be well worth it if it helps in getting this deal closed.

As of right now, that’s how I have my week mapped out but I know there will be some changes along the way. The two top priorities are getting our business associate to say that she thinks she can do a deal; then running the scenario by the investor and getting his approval. If this happens, we will verbally have an agreement and then it’s a matter of getting the ink flowing and contracts signed.

I’ve said numerous times in the past “this is going to be a big week,” and this week is no different. We need to see some major progression here before the weekend. I feel confident, positive, and just great in general. My gut is telling me that we are getting close and this thing is going to happen in the near future.

I hope you all have a wonderful and positive week and I’ll update as my week progresses.