Week before last, I made Salisbury Steak. I’d been watching Kramer v. Kramer on the DVR because I wanted to say I’ve seen Kramer v. Kramer 438 times instead of 437, and there’s a pivotal scene in the movie where Dustin Hoffman has made a Salisbury Steak TV Dinner for his seven-year-old son Billy, whose mother, Dustin’s wife, had abruptly left weeks earlier.

Billy, in a cross mood that evening, had been picking at his Salisbury Steak, calling it gross and yucky and spitting out bites here and there. Dustin, not in the mood for Billy’s tactics, reminds him that he’d eaten it just the week before and had declared it one of his favorite meals ever. Billy replies by complaining about the stuff (gravy and onions) on top of the steak (which isn’t really steak at all, but a ground beef mixture) and Dustin uses his knife to scrape it off and cut up Billy’s meat. He then orders Billy to take a bite: “It is not YUCKY, Billy!” Dustin commands. “Eat it!”

That’s when Billy puts on a cherubic face, bats his eyelashes, and changes the subject. “Did you remember to bring the chocolate chip ice cream home?” he asks his father.

Dustin answers sarcastically: “Yes, I did ‘remember to bring the chocolate chip ice cream home’ but you’re not going to have any of it until you eat your dinner and your peas and…”

Then Billy immediately gets up from his seat at the table, walks over to the freezer, retrieves the carton of ice cream, and brings it back to the table, his father all the while admonishing Billy that he’d better not, he’d better stop, and he’d better put the ice cream back.

But Billy continues unabated, keeping an eyelock on his father in order to size up just how serious he is. He lifts the lid off the carton. He sticks his spoon into the ice cream. At that point, Dustin expression changes from stern to serious to grave.

“You put that ice cream in your mouth,” Hoffman warns, “And you are in VERY, VERY, VERY big trouble. Don’t you dare go anywhere beyond that. I am not going to say it again. I am NOT going to say it…”

And then it happens. Billy shoves a huge spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

And it all goes downhill from there.

Furious, Dustin grabs Billy around the waist and carts him to his bedroom, tossing him onto his bed and telling him what a spoiled, rotten little brat he is, and that he’s had it.

As Dustin is storming out of Billy’s room, Billy cries and screams “I WANT MY MOMMY!”

And Dustin yells back, “Well, I’m all you’ve got!” and slams the door.

I’m crying as I write this, because the scenes that follow are even more heart-wrenching. Dustin, distraught, rushes to the living room and pours himself a stiff drink. He takes a shot, wincing from the pain of both the liquor hitting his throat and the realization that he’d just lost his temper with his little boy, whose mother had left without a warning. Dustin rests his head in his hand and rubs his temples, the weight of single fatherhood—and all the personal, professional, and emotional complications it had brought—on his shoulders.

Later that night, after he’s calmed down, Dustin reenters Billy’s room. Billy’s sound asleep by then, and Dustin tucks him in and straightens up his room a bit. Just as he’s tiptoeing out of the room, though, Billy wakes up and calls his dad over to his bed.

This hits Dustin like a ton of bricks. Taken aback, he realizes how much Billy must have been internalizing his mother’s departure. So he begins to explain (in a whisper, which somehow adds to the emotion of the moment) how it was his fault, not Billy’s, that Billy’s mom had left. How he hadn’t made time for her and had been wrapped up in his own things. How he didn’t know she was unhappy. How she didn’t leave because of Billy, she left because of him.

As I said, I’m crying now. And as I wrote my post for Salisbury Steak, I cried as I remembered the scene.

I don’t know if I’m writing this because of Salisbury Steak, or if I made Salisbury Steak because of this, or if there doesn’t necessarily have to be a logical reason for this post. It’s just an illustration of how much I love Kramer vs. Kramer. The film is brilliantly acted (Meryl Streep is breathtakingly good. Dustin Hoffman is perfection. Justin Henry, who plays Billy, is heartbreaking.) and portrays the pain of divorce so realistically.

But it’s also one of a million examples of why I love movies in general. They stay in your memory and hide in your heart. And scenes and dialog and moments pop up when you least expect it.

And before you know it, you’re crying about Salisbury Steak.

Next up, I’ll write about cherry desserts and wax rhapsodic about The Witches of Eastwick.

Pollyanna On Monday, March 19 at 10:06 am

MotorCityMich On Monday, March 19 at 11:23 am

French toast for me is always “Ordinary People”… when Mary Tyler Moore scrapes that french toast into the garbage disposal… oooooh!

DeniseInTX On Tuesday, March 20 at 9:10 pm

I always think of French toast, too. It represents Ted’s and Billy’s arc. In the first act, Ted tries to make French toast for Billy to try to ease the pain of Joanna’s leaving, but can’t do it to save his life. By the third act, he’s making French toast like a pro. They’ve gone through the hardest part of their grief and life is becoming normal and then Joanna returns threatening to upend their lives again. It really is all about the food, isn’t it?

2

Gail On Monday, March 19 at 5:11 am

Well now you’ve done it..I HAVE to see this movies again. It’s been way too long, thanks Ree!

3

Maureen On Monday, March 19 at 5:27 am

Now you have me crying, remembering being a kid when my parents divorced. I think all kids tend to think they did something to make it happen, so sad. . . I am reading your book, “the Pioneer Woman: Bleck Heels to Tractor Wheels” and I can see that your Parent’s divorce had a profound affect on you too, though you were much older when it happened. Just goes to show how damaging divorce can be at any age!

Thanks for an impactful post! Guess I will never look at Salisbury Steak the same way again! LOL!

4

Leanne K On Monday, March 19 at 5:30 am

Can’t even eat fresh cherries because of Witches. Dumb movie, and I’ll watch it every time!!!! Love all 3 actresses.

Erin P. On Tuesday, March 20 at 8:38 am

YES! Me either. I HATE cherries because of this movie. UGH, but I love cherry flavored things. I think it’s the pits that gross me out. I do love that dumb movie. It gets me every time. Another Cher movie that always gets me and my Mother is “Moonstruck”…I think of that movie almost every time I see a “bloody” steak…LOL! It was Nick Cage and Cher in their youthful hay day.

Cherries Jubilee for everyone! “Have another cherry!” I was OBSESSED with that movie as a kid and now I must go downstairs and rifle through the DVD case and watch it today!

(I know that’s not the point of the post but I can’t be held responsible for what my brain picks up on.)

7

Casie On Monday, March 19 at 7:01 am

Honestly one of the best movies ever. The elevator scene at the end. Meryle’s raw emotion and the way she cries. I love that movie. Running to the hospital and the “sleepover”. Love it.

8

Meme On Monday, March 19 at 7:28 am

Sniff. Sniff. WHAAA!

9

Jane On Monday, March 19 at 7:31 am

I also have certain movies that I’ll re-watch every so often when I need a good cry, or a good laugh, or just need to bring back old memories. Just like a favorite old song, or a good meal of comfort food. I know how exactly how you feel. Thanks for sharing!!!

10

Mary W On Monday, March 19 at 7:33 am

Wow, I’ve never seen this movie before. I’m adding it to my Netflix list right now!

Yogamama On Monday, March 19 at 7:50 am

I love Kramer vs Kramer. And I cry every single time I watch it.
I love movies for exactly the same reason you do, Ree.

13

Paula On Monday, March 19 at 8:10 am

There is NOTHING better than a movie that can make you feel, can make you cry. I have a short list of them, and I save them to watch when no one is home and I’ve had enough of real life and I need to just let loose a bucket of tears. Then I pull one out and watch it.

And am I the only one who, when watching a movie that I KNOW will make me cry, spends half the movie crying in preparation for the real cry at the end? I watched Stepmom the other day and cried every time Julia took a picture of the kids that I knew would end up in the gifts. I cried when the kids got to dad’s house because I knew Susan and her son were going to have that same conversation, about visiting in dreams, at the end of the movie.

And that’s why I can’t watch them with anyone else around – because they mock my premature crying.

Chrysa On Monday, March 19 at 2:28 pm

Paula – Just THINKING about “Stepmom” makes me cry. Susan Sarandon’s conversations with the kids at the end absolutely break my heart…and I know it’s fiction! It is just one of those movies that if I am not remotely in the mood to cry, I know I cannot even watch a snippet.

The first time this Ozark Farm Chick saw this movie, it was at Tiny~Towns one and only Drive~In Movie. Your probably too stinkin’ young to remember ‘em. We’d let the kiddos watch the cartoons then snuggle ‘em down in the back seat go to sleep while we enjoyed a ‘night out’. Heeehehehehe!!!! :o)

Thanks for the memories!!! (sang in my best Bob Hope voice)

God bless ya’ll and have a bang~up week from the happy hills and hollers of the very nostalgic Missouri Ponderosa!!!! :o)

BigCooker On Monday, March 19 at 9:47 am

Thanks for the well wishes, we love the Ozark Farm Chick posts, these Arkansas Ponderosa happy hills say the same. Have a bang`up week , too!

15

zoom On Monday, March 19 at 8:49 am

When I saw this movie in my 20′s my reaction was totally different from my sentiments 30 years later. When Dustin Hoffman asks Billy, “What grade are you in now?” the first time around it was amusing. Now, I realize his total disconnect with the child and family. I have much more sympathy for Meryl Streep now than then.

16

Carolyn On Monday, March 19 at 9:09 am

I’m embarrassed to say I’m 40 years old and have never seen Kramer vs. Kramer. I need to watch it soon.

17

Pam S. On Monday, March 19 at 9:40 am

Love, love, love Kramer vs Kramer. It was one of the very first movies I ever saw in a movie theater. That and The Champ. Both movies are tear jerkers…and amazing.

18

BigCooker On Monday, March 19 at 9:42 am

Now we are having Salisbury Steak and PLEASE something Cherry dessert. I always make Cherry Pie but your ideas are so inspiring. Inspire away, I need it…

19

Carol On Monday, March 19 at 10:15 am

Are you a Practical Magic fan? Great movie & music…….

Mickie On Monday, March 19 at 12:14 pm

Thanks Carol for bringing this one up…I love that movie! “Put the lime in the coconut…” and I love the story…and the actors…and the music…I just watched it again a few months ago.

Kramer vs Kramer, does me in, I have a very hard time watching, it destroys me..sniff…

lisa c. On Tuesday, March 20 at 10:49 am

This is one of my favorites. I love Sandra Bullock. One of my other favorites of hers is HOPE FLOATS, which also coincidentally contains the love of my life, Harry Connick, Jr.

20

Kimsue On Monday, March 19 at 10:23 am

Ree, thanks for reminding me why I love K vs. K! As for The Witches of Eastwick, there are some scenes, such as in the pool, where I find Jack to be very sexy. But don’t tell anyone, that will be our secret…

21

JJ On Monday, March 19 at 11:01 am

I think the little kid in this movie is JAKE the love interest in 16 Candles! Wild huh?

22

JJ On Monday, March 19 at 11:03 am

Sarah A On Monday, March 19 at 11:14 am

oh goodness.. great movie. I was tearing up reading your post then saw the comment above about Stepmom and almost truly busted out crying.. and I now want to see them both again. Dont know that I could watch them in the same week much less same day.. Another one that rips me apart is Beaches..

24

Lindie On Monday, March 19 at 11:34 am

Your whole post made me cry. My youngest daughter’s husband has left her. Her older 3 children are in shock but the 3 littles are so confused. There is no way to make it better or she would. They are in so much pain and I can’t help them.

25

Bonita Lowe On Monday, March 19 at 12:27 pm

There IS someone out there who has watched Kramer vs Kramer more than me! This is my all time FAVORITE movie! I can’t even say what my favorite part is because it’s great from beginning to end. It will always be a classic!

26

Chris in Oregon On Monday, March 19 at 12:28 pm

My husband hates Meryl Streep because of that movie. His first wife left when his daughters were 4 and 7 because she decided she didn’t want to be a wife and mother anymore. I met him after they were divorced and he had full custody of the girls – she just didn’t want them. We got married when they were 6 (almost 7) and 9, and they are my daughters, too. That movie came out around that time, and I think he projected his anger onto Meryl Streep, because he won’t watch any movies with her in it, so I have to watch them without him, because she is such a great actress!

denise On Monday, March 19 at 1:07 pm

Chris we need more ladies like you in the world!!!!
great post Ree and kudos to you Chris

Marla On Monday, March 19 at 7:42 pm

denise On Monday, March 19 at 1:11 pm

Christy Kane On Monday, March 19 at 1:34 pm

that is my favorite scene out of many great scenes in a great movie. I’m glad I’m not the only one it touches.

29

Sarah B. On Monday, March 19 at 1:43 pm

LOVE this movie! I’ve seen it so many times, but it’s been a while. I think it’s time to pull it out again! Love the scene when he runs to see his mom in the park, the scene in the restaurant when DH smashes the glass of wine against the wall, the scene in the elevator at the end…SO GOOD!!!

30

Donna On Monday, March 19 at 1:51 pm

I was watching my three year old grandson play his first T-ball game and crying like a baby…you sound like me…do you need harmones, too?!

31

Debbie On Monday, March 19 at 2:46 pm

Thanks, Ree for making me cry at my desk at work. That movie tears me up.

Never saw it. Not sure I could handle it… divorce is all too real in my memory! Ugh, made me sick to my stomach just reading that.

33

country@heart On Monday, March 19 at 3:25 pm

I always want eggnog after we watch The Santa Clause with Tim Allen; and, I think about those poor staff working at the place that’s always open!!

34

Teresa On Monday, March 19 at 3:31 pm

I will never forget seeing this movie in the theaters when it came out.
That opening scene, with Meryl Streep sitting on the edge of her son’s bed – the clouds wallpaper – the expression on her face.
Just superb acting – by everyone – in this superbly written movie.
I’d never seen anything like it.

This is an entertaining reminder of the serious power that food unleashes in our brains for high-impact learning. We remember best when we connect our emotions and our senses to experience, and what conjures up more sensory emotion than food?! Great post.

37

Laura Busby On Monday, March 19 at 5:52 pm

I saw Kramer vs. Kramer in the theater with my dad and my sisters while with him on “his weekend”. This movie has always been one of my favorites, yet a very hard one for me to watch. Divorce is painful. French toast and Salisbury steak are forever though! — BTW, I recall my dad cutting up the bread and putting it in a mug to make french toast. When we told him THAT wasn’t french toast, he said, you’re right. They’re called thingamajigs and you’ll like them. We could’ve made lots of money if we’d only beat the fast food chains on that idea.

38

mamabigdog On Monday, March 19 at 6:20 pm

Every now and then, I see a woman who’s eyes and facial structure remind me of that preacher’s wife from Witches of Eastwick (the one who spewed all the cherry pits), and from then on I can’t associate her with anything or anyone else. It’s just Cherry Pit City for that poor woman in my mind.

I still wish I could get my hands on one of Cher’s “booby dolls”, as Jack so fondly put it. They were so cute!

39

Patricia Mancuso On Monday, March 19 at 6:46 pm

Ok, now you have me crying. I don’t think I have watched the entire movie. Didn’t mean anything to me then. Now I have two little boys and my husband travels alot for his job. I think I will rent it next time my husband comes home.

DaphneSFL On Monday, March 19 at 7:50 pm

Susan in Colorado On Monday, March 19 at 9:05 pm

Are you sure you are not pregnant???

42

Lisa On Monday, March 19 at 9:40 pm

I’ve never seen Kramer vs. Kramer, although I REALLY wanted to when it came out. My mother refused to let us watch it since she and my father divorced a few years before the movie came out.
I’ve lost the desire to see it because I don’t think I could watch it now. It would be too emotional, which is why mom didn’t want us to see it all those years ago.

43

Mary On Monday, March 19 at 10:20 pm

I was watching Dancing with the Stars while reading your post. I had a grapefruit size lump in my throat as I tried my best to not just burst out crying over one of my all time favorite movies.I held it together so my family wouldn’t haul me off somewhere! ha ! That movie is what made Meryl Streep my #1 favorite female actress. Dustin Hoffman had won me over way back with The Graduate.

Surely you saw Meryl in The Bridges of Madison County? I think she did a stunning acting job with the role. I never did like Clint Eastwood with his role in it. Don’t know who I would have wanted but it just didn’t jive with me.

Wow. I haven’t seen Kramer vs. Kramer since it first came out. I need to go check for it on netflix…. and maybe make some Salisbury Steak, too.

45

Evelyn On Monday, March 19 at 11:02 pm

I hated Witches of Eastwick. Turned me against Jack Nicholson forever. The vomit scene was one of the most sickening things I’ve ever seen in a movie. And that’s saying a lot. Kramer vs. Kramer on the other hand, one of the greats. Meryl Streep is the be all, end all of actresses. Think I’ll have salisbury steak for dinner tomorrow night..looked yummy.

Kelly H. On Tuesday, March 20 at 8:51 am

Twister always has me craving steak, fried eggs, homemade mashed potatoes with brown gravy and some good biscuits to eat it with. (okay, it’s rolls in the movie, but I can’t make homemade rolls!) I now call this the “Twister dinner” lol! : )

48

BamaCarol On Tuesday, March 20 at 9:23 am

“Kramer vs. Kramer” is the first date I had with my husband. And I sobbed through the entire movie so I am surprised he ever asked me out again. Our 30 year wedding anniversary comes up next month. Maybe I should rent this for us to watch again.

49

AbbieD On Tuesday, March 20 at 10:18 am

Crying.

I have many triggers…french toast (mentioned), salisbury steak (obviously mentioned), chocolate chip ice cream, and any time I see kids playing on a jungle gym. If those kids happen to have toy swords in their hands?! Forget about it…I’m already retrieving the car to drive them to the ER.

What funny timing. I was just watching this on Netflix. It’s one of my favorite New York movies. That Salisbury steak scene is great, but I’m also a big fan of the hallway scene where Billy meets the one night stand. So funny!

52

Jessi Roullier On Tuesday, March 20 at 6:15 pm

I love this movie so much. And I love how you described this pivotal scene. I wonder if you’ll tackle “Terms of Endearment”? I just saw it again (for the 5000th time) on TV the other night and I cried so hard I was sore the next day. That is another film that I can think of and just begin to cry. I love movies!! xo

“They stay in your memory and hide in your heart.” YES! I haven’t ever seen the entirety of Kramer vs. Kramer, but there are so many others that are lurking in my heart just waiting to make me turn into a pile of sobbing blubber.

selena On Tuesday, March 20 at 9:44 pm

Kelly On Tuesday, March 20 at 9:51 pm

When I think about Salisbury steak I have to think of my Nephew. When he was little that was one of his favorite dinners and he would eat it while we were watching one of his favorite movies “Andre”!!

57

Lindsay On Wednesday, March 21 at 9:25 am

I’ve always loved Kramer v. Kramer and now you’ve made me want to watch it again! Dustin Hoffman is brilliant, and I love Meryl in everything she does, even though her part in this movie is small compared to his. You described that scene perfectly and I could see everything in my mind as I read your description. The part that makes me cry though, coming from a divorced home, is the end where Dustin is packing up Billy’s things to go live with his mom and Billy starts crying and says something like “could you pick up the phone and call me sometime”. Gets me everytime. I know what it’s like to leave a parent you are so attached to in order to go be with the other parent. It makes me so happy to be an adult now and not have to deal with that anymore. Btw, I love the picture of the movie you posted at the top:) Thanks for having a place to discuss movies, because I am a movie lover!

Not sure if it was mentioned above, but Kramer VS Kramer is also a book. Both are really good.

60

Heather C On Wednesday, March 21 at 11:45 am

I know this does not have to do with movies, but can anyone not eat cheesecake and think of The Golden Girls. For me they made it ok to eat while in the midst of a crisis, bonding or just whatever excuse you want to create. I sure do love those girls!! There is nothing in the world better than friends/loved ones and food.

MariaV On Wednesday, March 21 at 12:54 pm

Oh blast from the past. Kramer vs Kramer. Yes this movie was heartbreaking

63

Jessika Y On Thursday, March 22 at 7:39 am

Okay.. I’ve never seen Kramer Vs. Kramer but I’m gonna have to make it a priority. I’ve never had ‘real’ salisbury steak either until I made it following this recipe last night. I thought I hated the stuff. Turns out, I just hated the frozen versions my mom always cooked growing up. YUM! I served mine up with creamed spinach instead though.

I may be the only one in the world that hates this movie? I can’t really remember it, but I do remember hating it. I am a child of divorce and “abandonment” and to see them glorified in a movie, really bothered me. I know, I know- but it was my reaction when I saw it the first time (probably late teens) and I recoil when I see event the name in print. emotional response. It would probably be different now, but I have no real desire to see it. Interesting how people have different responses. great discussion all around, though.

65

Kim G On Thursday, March 22 at 9:51 am

I certainly relate. I have a list of movies that induce crying on command. I like to watch them alone so that it doesn’t matter if the premature or “ugly” crying starts. I mean, if I’m gonna do it, I certainly don’t want my self-consciousness to get in the way. This first movie I thought of was Steel Magnolias. For some reason, every time I have red velvet cake, I think of this movie and the groom’s cake (red velvet armadillo) that “Aunt Fern” made.

66

Anne On Thursday, March 22 at 2:54 pm

It made me realize how selfish people can be and not even realize it. I think that that realization with his son, helped him to realize what a lousy selfish husband he was. Not a very happy movie, and quite frankly, I hated it. From beginning to end. No, I don’t come from a broken home.

67

Ruth On Thursday, March 22 at 3:05 pm

Just wondering if you saw “7 Pounds” and if so, what did you think?

68

Christine On Friday, March 23 at 12:24 am

Reading this and remembering that scene made me cry, too. Thanks, Ree! Gah. Such a gut-wrenching movie.

69

Katy On Friday, March 23 at 11:50 am

Hi movie-lovin’ Ree,

If you and your family have time this weekend, may I recommend a trip into town to see a new film called October Baby (if it’s playing in your area). If not, get it on DVD as soon as it comes out! It is such an awesome movie with a great message and I think you’d like it.

Susan On Saturday, March 24 at 7:05 am

I agree with you. I love movies. Last night my husband and I watched Hatchi: We are animal lovers here and lets just say that there was a box of tissues next to us. If you love animals and haven’t see it, I highly recommend it.

71

Heather Wolf Turner On Saturday, March 24 at 9:50 am

Did you know that Justin Henry also played Molly Ringwald’s little brother in “Sixteen Candles?”

Pdub, I am writing to the Wall Street Journal as we speak: they need you to review their movies in their weekend edition because someone who feels the WEIGHT of the silences, who can read all that is said with the unsaid in between the lines, needs to review movies.

Or maybe you struck a nerve with this movie.

Or all movies.

Or maybe now you know when I watch a movie the way I sob you’d swear it was me up on that screen. Male or female: don’t matter much.

Helen On Sunday, March 25 at 8:45 am

My mom was very pregos with me when she went to watch this movie in the theater and she always said she had to stuff a napkin in her mouth to keep from sobing out loud. you post made me think of that . i love how movies can be such a part of your life.