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Almost all the self help gyaan as well as psychologists say that you should never rely on external sources for happiness...I have often wondered how practical would that be, especially when these very same people ask you to have deep, meaningful relationships for a healthy and happy life...These seem quite contradictory to each other...When you are attached to someone in a deep, meaningful way, it is natural to wish that they are successful, and although often you can do a lot to help them be successful, it is finally upto them whether they succeed or not... These days I am undergoing a lot of stress, because hubby is having an exam and I really want him to succeed...However, beyond a point there is a sense of helplessness - I cannot script his success and at times, I can't let him study without a bother, because, I am human and I need my break from housework as well... It is strange how much our happiness depends on other people's lives and actions! And I think, it is when you …

Often, its the small things in life that determine the day to day happiness quotient of a person...I mean, how long can you feel thrilled about the new car that you bought or the great vacation that you've had...I've seen most people I know get affected by small things to a much higher degree than the big things...And this observation is true across social strata, gender and any other divisive parameter that you may choose...
Today, I got upset about an email which never came...I don't know why exactly I paid that much importance to it..but I realised that while it is easy for others to say "don't sweat the small stuff", it is often these that actually make you sweat...And I started thinking of why .... Often, the small things are those that we do not really plan for and as a result there is rarely a plan B, we think that it is most likely to succeed and that if it doesn't then "It's no big deal"...atleast, that's what the rational brain…

It's slightly more than mid year now…and a good time to look back on the year! It is also that time of the year when my annual appraisals happen and I typically do a lot of introspection around that time! And I have come up with a list of skills that I want to master before the end of this year, for whatever that's worth!So here goes…1.How to solve a Rubik's cube – I tried learning this last month and have managed to do one face pretty fast, but after that it has become a challenge…2.Learn Vedic Mathematics – This is something that I should have done while I was preparing for CAT and which would have changed my entire destiny, but it is never too late and so this year I hope to master this!3.How to solve the Hindu crossword – Again, this was something where I took a lot of avid interest at one point in time, but it can come only through voracious reading plus practice, and somewhere I stopped trying...however I am going to restart and try this for every day starting today……

Like a child who loves a new toy, I got hooked to FB, once I got the hang of it...But just like the child returning to its mother after play time, I have come back to this blog…I miss writing long posts… you can't express all thoughts in less than 55 words (or whatever the limit is!)…Someone telling me that she misses my blog was all the shot in the arm that I needed to return here! No philosophical insights this time around, but rather few things about me that I myself was surprised to discover!1.I hate small talk – even if it is from my son. I like people who can articulate themselves well, even if they are lying!2.I am a loner. I can never get attached to anything or anyone beyond a point…3.I am uncomfortable in crowds…And three is crowd! I can hold a meaningful conversation with only one person at a time, unless I am giving a speech. This combined with point 1, makes me hate parties where I can't talk at length to any one person, and I am expected to talk to everyone.4.I l…

A dear friend was once lamenting on how old friends no longer seem to have time for him. He said wistfully, “When I call them, I get this feeling as if I am no longer part of their mind space”. It was a casual statement, but it remained in my mind…This blog was not updated because, I was very busy living life and had no time to record my thoughts…I would read my daily quota of blogs, think about what to write and then realize I have something more important to do than update this space…In the gap meanwhile, I celebrated my birthday and vishu and went for an amazing house boat trip with my family. Mother’s day and my wedding anniversary came and went without celebrations and I took a firm resolution to unclutter my life…The resolution started off as a simple cleaning up of my hubby’s wardrobe…Much to my chagrin, I found that there were shirts he had received as wedding gifts (5 years back) which were not even opened…He is a hoarder like most Cancerians I know, and would refuse to part …

It's official…My mom is going back to lead her 'own' life…To her credit, if there is one person other than my lovin' hubby and ever positive grandma that I should be thankful to, then it is her. Afterall, she left behind my dad and uprooted herself to a different city for nearly ten months…No one else I know of will do that for me…My son adores her…Whether it is my failure or my mom's success or neither, the fact remains that my child's world revolves around my mom…and I was totally ok with it…Unlike lot of working moms that I know of, I never wanted the best of both worlds…I never expected that my mom will be the major caregiver, but as soon as he sees me my son will forget all about her and spend all the rest of the time with me…I am happy as long as he is happy…I firmly believe that if you want your child to consider you 'God' then you need to be there for him/her…at least when they are really young…afterwards, they may appreciate the sacrifice that …

I am not the kind of person who comments on every post I read…When I initially started blogging, I used to comment, but then realized that the blogosphere works on certain unwritten rules… most bloggers don't like you to disagree with what is written, even if you do it politely and in a civil manner…And I don't see the point in writing a comment, just to say "Oh, that's soo true, I fully agree"…Unless you can bring in a different dimension to the discussion what is the point of discussion at all…And then ofcourse, there were this whole bunch of 'if you leave a comment on my blog I shall reciprocate by leaving a comment on yours' which is ok, if you have a commercial blog …I don't have a blogroll…I am not sure why…Primarily 'cos I have seen the quality of blogs vary with time…the content varies..sometimes the author just shuts shop…And even my interest varies…If I am vain, I can also say that I don't want anyone to feel obligated to include me …

Am feeling on top of the world! I just received a courier by office mail, and opened it expecting some official communication…But my boss/friend had sent me a book and a magazine. I read a lot, but never buy books – I am the kind who would rather pay the cost of the book (or in many cases even more) to the library in terms of lending fee, but never spends the money to buy a book…However, I still love the smell of a new book…The first thing I do when I get a new book is to smell it…Ah, the pure bliss of knowledge! At one point in my life, I wanted a huge library, but after getting associated with my coldly rational spouse who has feet firmly in the ground, I accepted that spending money on books that you won't read more than once and then stacking them up in a cupboard was a waste of money, time and even space. But still, there is a child in me who gets thrilled on getting a gift! And gets super thrilled, when it is a book…after all, while peers were dreaming of being pilots and tr…

I had a post titled "The Year That Will Be" in my laptop, which I lost when the battery died on me...I don't feel like writing it all over again...It was about resolutions and how I plan this year to be a year of excellence...Where I shall stretch myself on all realms and see what I am capable of...Anyway, I suddenly realised that a month has gone by without any posts...The posts get formed in my head, but never get translated into paper...And therefore I am going to try and post atleast 5 posts in a week...I always believe content is what matters and not frequency, but somehow I feel the urge to try this out...to see if I can stick to it...