When you look at your partner, do you keep remembering how it used to be? There were many smiles and laughter. Time stopped whenever you spent time with them. You wonder what went wrong and you’re conflicted between blaming them or yourself. If you’re determined to save your relationship, this will help you.

Are you truly listening to them?

Do you get frustrated by how arguments occur over the smallest and unnecessary things? Even when you believe you handled it the right way, they were still unreasonable? It’s because you’re not listening to them. You hear the words, but you’re not understanding the meaning behind them. This is where communication is key.

You’ll probably have a hard time admitting it, but you’re equally as guilty for the misunderstandings that happen. No matter how the arguments started, there’s always a way you could’ve handled them better. You have values that must be respected and that goes for your partner as well. A discussion about these values is essential.

The smallest things may mean nothing to you, but it’s everything to them. Both of you need to talk without blaming, cursing, raising voices, and disrespecting each other. This is your other half that you chose to spend the rest of your life with, so their problems are just as important as yours. Do not hint at things and expect them to know what you mean. Don’t play mind games and tell them directly what the problem is.

Finally and most importantly, do you care more about your relationship or your pride? It doesn’t matter if you’re right, what’s important is that you’re both understanding of each other’s opinions and values. Let your walls down and they will also. If you put your guard up to avoid being hurt, you’re showing that you don’t trust them.

Trust and communication is everything in a relationship. Make this vulnerable conversation happen, and it will open up new possibilities.

Before you continue reading, this is specifically for the people that are in search for a genuine relationship. If you’re looking around to casually date then this post is probably not for you. But you’ll never know if the one will show up through casual dating. Either way, I hope you’ll get something from this.

1. Be Patient

This is the biggest obstacle I see which is why I’m mentioning it first. Are you patiently waiting for your partner to appear in your life or are you desperately searching? If it’s the latter, you’re on the wrong path. Hopelessly seeking for one will attract the wrong people. You need to be clear with your intentions because what you think and how you interact may differ.

When people see that you’re desperate, it shows a lack of self-love and a hint of selfishness. Speaking from personal experience, this is a magnet for selfish people. The second tip helps you with this issue.

2. Work on Yourself

Everyone is attracted to people with ambitions and goals. If you want to find someone with those qualities, you have to become dependable also. Focus on taking care of yourself first before pursuing a relationship. You will radiate when you’re content being single. Reading and exercising are great habits to start off with to boost your confidence.

Remember that if you’re not happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.

3. Expose Yourself

I don’t mean participating in a naked 5k race, (although you’re welcome to if it personally makes you happy). What I do mean is to go out on local events posted on Facebook, Instagram, or invites from friends. Be yourself, humble, and vulnerable. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You want someone that truly loves you for you, not a fake persona you made.

Don’t be scared to show your personality. You shouldn’t take it personally if they don’t like you. If anything, you saved time for the both of you from the start.

4. Be Kind to Others

Compassion and kindness are priceless qualities. Care for people and they will flock to you. Treat others the way you want to be treated. You’ll have a better chance of finding someone that respects you and sincerely cares for you. The same person that will stick with you even through the dark times. They might be able to support you financially, but supporting you emotionally is just as important.

Coming home from a long day, you’re ready to sit back and relax. As you hit the bed or couch, you grab your phone. The life of friends, family, and strangers alike appear on the newsfeed. Time flies by as new posts pop up after refreshing the app. It may seem harmless, but this vicious cycle is doing damage to you psychologically.

Daily Comparison

It’s human nature to compare your life to another person. Many people use this as competition or to follow the footsteps of their role model. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case for numerous people. After it’s launch in October 2010, Instagram captivated people all around the world. It became the norm for modern life with over 800 million users.

Depression has become an epidemic and social media is a part of the cause. You have the power to peek into a person’s life in a matter of seconds with the tip of your finger. People start to compare their likes and followers and use that to judge their self-worth. Another side effect that causes negative consequences is instant gratification. With this, a minute of receiving no likes can cause you to become discouraged and disappointed.

Behind the Screen

All you see on the newsfeed are the good times. Posts containing vulnerability don’t come often. People have become so accustomed to this that they are blind to sadness being a normal part of life. Every person in the picture deals with their own stress and insecurities. Some users of Instagram are so busy attempting to paint their life as perfect that they forget to live it.

You have to realize that “average” is okay. All these videos and pictures show that having a perfect life or having talent seems normal when it isn’t. Don’t waste your life playing catch-up and embrace the things you have at this moment. People are running their own personal race, so go at your own pace.

How tragic events can benefit you

Death and loss is a part of life. It will send you spiraling down a never-ending hole of emptiness. Waking up feeling lost and even the simplest things have become a chore. Sleep will become your best friend since it takes the pain away. This process may take months if not longer.

Switch your mindset

How you react to this experience will determine the outcome. You can’t change what’ll happen, but you can change your reaction. You have every right to your emotions. If something angers you, you’re not wrong for feeling that way. The important part is where you direct that anger.

Once you hit rock bottom, the only way you can go is up. At the end of the day, you’re still alive and there’s a lesson you’ll have learned. After each event, you’ll come out stronger and start appreciating the small things that you have. Grief builds character and will allow you to relate to others with similar circumstances. You will come out as a changed person.

This one thing will change you

Remember that there’s a hidden blessing in every adversity. The choice is entirely up to you on how you want your reality to be. You have the power to make that decision. Many people wish for a different life, yet they live theirs in auto mode. Stay aware of every action you make and you’ll soon realize how heavy each choice weighs in your life.

If you want to change your life, start making different decisions daily. Slowly but surely, you’ll notice a shift in the right direction. Don’t wait for an opportunity to come, make one. Once you start feeling uncomfortable often, you’ll know you’re heading down the right path.

Are you tired of the cycle of waking up to the “same thing, different day” routine? You want to see a change in your life and don’t know where to start? Let’s first work on the foundations and get you out of the auto pilot mode that you’ve been living. Here are three small habits that can make the biggest changes to your life.

Make your bed

This may seem small and insignificant, but don’t be fooled. Too many times the bed is left messy for the simple fact that it will be used again during the night. You might think this reason alone is enough to justify your excuse of being too lazy or too busy, but it has its benefits. This simple task that takes less than a minute of your day affects your everyday decisions. Completing this chore first thing in the morning will give you a sense of accomplishment and discipline. You will be inclined to dealing with more tedious tasks.

If you give yourself a reason to evade this, you may end up treating other priorities the same which will stack up stress.

Take cold showers in the morning

Imagine the times you’ve been to a pool or body of water. Either you or someone you know has a habit of poking the water with their toes and darts off from the slightest touch of cold temperature. It’s uncomfortable and unpleasant compared to sitting in a relaxing hot tub. This feeling of uneasiness is what separates great people from the rest. You are able to overcome this from your morning showers. When your hand is on the knob, you’ll be forced to make a decision. Either you take the easy way, or you step outside your comfort zone.

If you are able to convince yourself to endure this, you’ll be well on your way to taking on opportunities that lay outside your comfort zone with little to no hesitation. Plus, the cold water will give you more energy and motivation like you’ve never had before.

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

– Wayne Gretzky

Michael Scott

Wake up early

Waking up at 5-6 am seems like an impossible task but it can be achieved. It gives you a head-start for the day and the time to focus on your goals without being bothered. Dealing with your own schedule can be hectic enough, so completing the most important duties in the morning without distractions can relieve you from added pressure.

Go at your own pace

Just like any other habit, you have to slowly incorporate these into your life. Do not be hard on yourself if you slack off. Just pick yourself back up and keep trying. Everyone is going at their own pace. Problems and issues should never be compared. It isn’t a competition nor should it be something to be proud of. Just remember that you’re doing this for yourself, not for someone else’s approval.

Everyone is fake

This is an introduction of a topic I will be posting weekly. The purpose of this is to bring the issue into light, and then provide help and answers that will hopefully aid the people who are witnessing these problems. After years of listening to friends and family vent, I gathered up certain subjects that came up quite often. The first issue I will touch on is when people claim that everyone around them is fake. Many of these people I felt bad for, but then I started seeing common traits between them. This is directly towards these people. It may or may not apply to you.

You treat everyone with distrust

I understand that people have been screwed over many times. Some many, some few. You might have had a string of bad luck back to back. Sometimes it happens from the person we least expected. This causes us to dislike, even hate, people more. Eventually some of us start hating ourselves for being so naive. We’ve all been through it, but there is a reason if it is still happening to you.

It is your mindset when you interact with people. Have you ever met someone for the first time and decide not to pursue a friendship with them because they seemed a little off? They are stuck in the same trap as you. You go around expecting the worst out of people, therefore you don’t put your best effort towards anyone. When you do go out of your way for someone even when they don’t ask you to, you EXPECT something in return.

Genuine friendships don’t work that way. It’s manipulative and people can see right through you once they’re around long enough. This is where you start attracting people who have the same mindset. Then you start to wonder why the “real” people don’t ever show up at your doorstep. You’ve become the person who is a little off, scaring off the people who could have been great friends. Now you’re trapped in the cycle.

If you want to get out of this cycle, you have to change your mindset. When you start putting your best effort and treat people with respect and want the best for them, you will become a magnet for people with priceless traits. You can’t act authentic, you have to be authentic. When you treat others with respect, genuinely feel that respect for them. Always help others without expecting anything in return. Remember that every small decision you make is transparent.

Thank you for taking your time to visit this page. I’ll start off by introducing myself. My name is Tim and I stay in an area near Atlanta, Georgia. For the longest time, I’ve been lost and never truly understood why I was born. It felt like I was just wasting away and had no purpose. I desperately tried to dismiss these feelings by indulging myself in habits that weren’t the best for me. I’ve made questionable decisions out of my selfish need just to feel temporarily happy or to belong, as we all have in the past.

Now being 26, I’ve experienced my share of heartbreaks and disappointments. Each time one of these events happened, a necessary lesson was learned. My whole life I tried convincing myself that I wasn’t a selfish person, when in reality I was only turning a blind eye by making up excuses to justify my actions. After hitting rock bottom and staying in it for half a year, I realized the error of my ways. Finally kicking myself into gear, I made a promise to share my experience and lessons to other people who still feel lost.

For the sake of not making this longer, the purpose of this blog is to bring like-minded people to share their personal experiences and lessons to everyone who visits this page. We are all striving to become fulfilled and wealthy and there is something we can learn from each and every person. Join us, as we all move forward into a better future where our emotional needs are taken care of. Live for us.