7 Philosophical Questions to Ask Your Telemarketer

We all know telemarketers have got a lot of questions when they call. Among them, rarely "why did you think it was okay to insert your cell phone # into an online quiz" because that one you only ask yourself. But regardless, you've made "The List". Congratulations and condolences.

Now this is an honor only mere millions have each day, so you should handle it with care. Sure, you could express disinterest, hang up quickly, fly into a fit of rage. But those have all been done before.

If you want to wow their fuzzy, working-from-home socks off, then you're going to have to turn the questions on them. That's right, I said it. "Wouldn't you like to take a free vacation to Disney World?" elicits a "Let me answer that by asking you this..."

Here's a few to get you started:

1. If my goal was to fail and I failed, did I succeed?

2. Are things valuable because we desire them, or do we desire them because they are valuable?

3. If everything should be done in moderation, including moderation, should everything except moderation be done half as moderately?

4. How did life originate?

5. Is there such thing as free will?

6. Is perception the only difference between what is and what isn't?

7. What is philosophy, anyway?

And there you go, that's sure to start a riveting and enlightening discussion across state borders. What better circumstance for debate than on company dollar?