5 Women on What It's Like to Be the Breadwinners in Their Relationships

We’ve all heard the saying before: “What’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is mine.” It’s the true heartbeat of any long-lasting relationship and is especially true when it comes time to joining back accounts with your significant other. But what happens when you’re in a relationship with someone who isn't bringing in any dough, or just not as much as you are?

Take a look at what these five women said about how being the breadwinner impacts their relationship.

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Shutterstock/ Amanda Becker

“There’s nothing we fight about more than the fact that I’m the one earning the income for the family. My husband is kind of a lost soul. He never had a clear understanding of what he wanted to do with his life. He’s been trying to figure it out with a lot of different jobs, but nothing sticks.

I’m a divorce lawyer and I bill 60-hour weeks most weeks. We have three kids. My husband doesn’t have a steady paycheck so I pay for everything. It’s exhausting being the one going to work all day, every day, and then coming home and having to take care of the kids and their needs, pay the bills, and listen to a husband who sticks his tongue out at every potential job opportunity available to him. It’s wrecked our relationship and our marriage. I think we are only sticking it out because we have three young kids. I am praying that he’ll figure out a career he actually likes soon.”—Kendra S., 30

“I’ve always been the breadwinner in our six-year relationship. When I met my husband, he was working two part-time jobs that paid minimum wage. I was an associate at an advertising company and, over the years, I just kept getting promoted. One year, I got promoted three times! My paycheck is enough to cover our living expenses and both of our personal expenses.

My husband works one part-time job now, just so he has something to do. I seriously don’t mind. It’s normal to us because this is how it’s been since day one. I feel like I just got lucky with a good job, and he just doesn’t have the same kind of work or career goals. Not everybody has to have the same goals to make it work.”—Christine H., 32

“My live-in boyfriend decided to quit his job on January 1, 2016. He was working in finance and wanted to start a new career path as a web designer. He’s so creative and finance was literally killing his brain cells. So he quit with no job lined up or anything. He’s been taking classes to perfect his design skills and then hopes to job search in a month or two. Meanwhile, I work as a nurse at a local hospital and make decent money. But right now, I’m covering our entire rent, which is a lot because we live in New York City. I’m also paying for all the day-to-day expenses. I haven’t told him this, but I’m starting to dip into my savings account just to be able to keep our bills paid. I may ask him (eventually) to pay me back.”—Tanya W., 28

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Shutterstock/ Amanda Becker

“We had a baby about three months ago. Two days before the baby was born, my husband was laid off. It’s exhausting talking about this, but I’m the only one working. I run a virtual business, so I never had an official maternity leave. I’ve been working and breastfeeding at the same time.

As a business owner, I’m paying a ton now for my insurance and his. It’s a nightmare. He wasn’t supposed to be jobless and we weren’t supposed to welcome a baby into the world with just one income.”—Jamie K., 29

“I go to work every day and my husband is the stay-at-home dad. It’s not a point of contention for us. We totally get each other and this situation—if you would even call it that. I’ve always loved working my butt off at a job and am now a vice president at a technology company. I’ve never been someone who dreamt of having a family or being a stay-at-home mom, so when my husband pushed me to keep working and quit his job to take care of those duties, I was secretly so relieved and outwardly so thankful. I make a sturdy six-figure salary, and he makes the kids' lunch. This is my dream situation. It really is.”—Harriet P., 36

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