I learned that my students rarely saw adults disagree without yelling and screaming.

They literally had NO conflict/resolution examples.

My TA and I had to fake “disagreements” about typically things to

demonstrate how to solve issues with each other.

At first, we did this obviously.

But we later go together in the am and decided what “situation”

we would concoct to argue about.

Then, during “down times” or transitions

we would start the show.

EYES WERE WIDE OPEN.

They honestly didn’t know what was about to happen.

Then when the “situation” was over,

they were all whispers with each other.

Did this work?

YES

Many of them learned how often adults disagreed with each other

without showing ANGER.
Many times it ends with someone admitting they were wrong
and saying they are sorry.

The next thing I do is to break up the year according to how I help them with their problems.

I start to year being a great listener.

When students have an issue,

I listen to one student.

I ask the second open ended questions and listen to response.

Then I help them understand what they actual problem is.

It isn’t usually what they THINK the issue is.

I have to be very clear and STATE the issue.

Then we work on a solution together.

I try to give them two choices.

“So we know the problem was Sam wants to play with Erin.

BUT Erin only wants to play on the swings.

Sam, you have two choices. You can play with Erin on swings.

{Insert: “But I don’t want to play on the swings. I only want to play on the slide.}

Or you can play on the slide without Erin.

Erin, you can play where ever you want to. Thanks for talking with us.”

This would be a great time to talk about how we are SAD

our friend doesn’t want to play with us at that moment.

It is also a good time to talk about how that is a different feeling that ANGER.

About a third of the way into the year,

I change up the way I handle situations.

Now I ask my students what they think they issue is

and how they think they should handle it.

Since I have modeled this for a while,

my students are ready for this step.

Then, I ask them if they can solve the problem by themselves

or if they want me to come watch.

99% of the time they want my support.

Some of them have FEAR but most of them just want adult support

for confidence.

I go with them and try to watch them solve their issues.

I step in IF I need to.

But I try not to.

And if the problem isn’t solved the BEST way, that is okay.

This is a process.

Perfection isn’t required.

Many times students agree to disagree and walk away from each other.

As long as we are not ANGRY, we can be SAD.

We can’t be mean, but we don’t have to have JOY either.

The last half of the year,

when a student comes to me with an issue…

I ask them IF they have attempted to talk to their friend first.

If not, they have to attempt to talk to them before they talk to me.

This is a HUGE step for tattle tales.

If they can’t solve it themselves, both students come to me or I go to them.

I try again to stay in the background.

And I praise the students for trying hard to solve their problems.

I quickly have fewer and fewer issues come to me.

This year I want to add these stuffed plush animals to our emotions.
When I student is ANGRY,
I will allow them to go to the collection and take the ANGER DOLL
so that student can talk to that character about how they feel.

If they are SAD they can share their SADNESS with SADNESS .
But, they can also choose to talk to JOY to see if she can make them HAPPIER.

I can see FEAR being a great tools as well.
And we might need to take DISGUST to the lunch room with us for broccoli
and those other items we are not sure of.

I love how you are incorporating the characters from 'Inside Out'. What a great way to help them understand feelings, and I love that they can go to the table and get the character which matches their emotion and talk to them about it!! Teaching social emotional skills to Littles is so important, and this is such a great way to do so! Thank you so much for sharing with us!!