Chaos in the CastleorPeace in the Palace?

Let’s be real with one another. Making our husband out to be the king in our home may not sound that appealing to a strong, intelligent, independent woman. So let me appeal to the queen in us all. I know that every woman reading this blog has at some point longed for the lap of luxury where everything is roses and life is like a fairy tale. It’s like that old commercial from when I was a child where the woman is stressed, the phone is ringing, the baby is crying, the dog is barking, dinner is burning, and someone is ringing the door bell all at the same time. Then she says, “Calgon, take me away!” Suddenly she is soaking in a beautiful bubble bath with soft music in the background and flower petals floating on the water. Her dreams come true and life has become a luxurious, warm, happily ever after. We have all longed for that, but to get there we have a decision to make. We have to decide if we are willing to follow rank and order in our kingdom according to its original design, In the end that design gives us all what we are longing for, power. Not the power to dominate but the power to become the woman we were created to be. Following Rank and Order = Power

We all know that submission or subjection to our husband is not something very popular with the majority of women we know or the female population at large. I have to be frank; those terms were not very appealing to me either. When I heard them as a young woman, I would get a chill up my spine and cringe at the word pictures they created. That was primarily because my idea of "submission" was based on the same lie the Serpent originally told Eve in the Garden of Eden. He convinced her that she could be in charge like God if she ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge. More importantly, he implied that if she didn’t take charge, she was some how inferior.As women, we are very strong. If we are honest, we might even say we are strong-willed. Eve was strong-willed. We come by it naturally. The good news is our strong-willed strength doesn’t have to be a negative attribute! Once I began to understand the role I was designed for, I began to embrace the strength that I possessed. God created us to be strong and with that strength we can accomplish great things. In fact, by walking out marriage in the proper rank and order, we can win the war raging on the home front against us while standing beside our warrior on the battlefield.

What is Rank and Order according to scripture?

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be subject to their husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:22 (NASB)​What does “be subject to” mean? Let’s look at its original meaning. The word subject is a Greek term pronounced huppataso. It’s a military term meaning "to be ranked under in military order." So if we take this idea and look at it from that perspective, we can understand what being subject to really looks like. For the military in our country to succeed in war, its members follow proper rank and order which enables the battle plan to work and our troops to be victorious. For example, a General can’t win a war without the information he receives from the Sergeant underneath him. The Sergeant is closer to the battlefield on a daily basis than the General. He knows what’s happening on the front lines and he takes that information back to the General for consideration. The General then uses the Sergeant’s information to plan the next strategy and make the decisions necessary to win the immediate battle and eventually win the war. On the other hand, the Sergeant is solely dependent on the General’s position. He can’t go to the battlefield and win without the General’s decision-making skills and leadership. Since the General is farther removed from the front lines, he is less emotional about his decisions and can base them on the overall bigger picture of the war. He has a different perspective, and he knows how to look at each battle with the end goal in mind. Once the General determines the battle plan, the Sergeant can take it to the front lines and carry it out to completion with his troops. It takes both their perspectives to win the war. As leaders, they need each other to survive. They combine their strengths and weaknesses, and together they overcome their enemies and are victorious in securing our nation.

The destructive cultural war around us is raging against our marriages and homes. We are fighting for our relationships to survive, and as parents, we are fighting for the souls of our children and the security of their future. We all have God-given strengths and abilities that make us who we are as women. They are the same qualities that captivated our husband’s heart causing them to fall in love. Nevertheless, our skills have to be placed and used in the proper rank and order by God’s design or they become the same qualities that can cause our husbands to go AWOL.

How does it look to live in rank and order day after day in our every day lives? As wives, we are typically the more emotionally sensitive side of the relationship. No matter how tough we may try to be, we have a sensitivity that men do not have. This gives us a powerful perspective our husbands don’t have. It’s called women’s intuition. As women, we are intuitive by nature and we see, feel, and sense what the battle really is in our home on a day-to-day basis. If you haven’t tapped into this gift from God yet, you can start developing it now. If you are a stay home mom, you are on the battlefield every day and you are closer to the front lines for sure. If you work outside the home, you probably use that same intuition at the office to position yourself to move up the corporate ladder, but when you arrive home, those same skills are just as important. What do we do with the information we are intuitively gathering from the situations we are seeing and sensing around us? When we apply the military term, “huppatasso” from Scripture, our job is to take information from the front lines back to our husband and share it with him so he can come up with the battle plan and lead us to victory. For example, if you have a situation at home involving the children, once you share the information, he can devise a battle plan to alleviate the problem. If you work outside the home and you are struggling with something there, if you share it with your spouse, as a result of being less emotionally involved he can see the bigger picture . He can often bring objectivity to the situation, helping you come up with a solution. Our men have a perspective that can likely benefit us in many areas of our life. From the beginning Eve needed Adam just as much as he needed her.

When we apply what we have learned from the example above, we realize we have greater strength when we depend on each other and work together on the battlefield than when we wage war against each other. Without working as a team in the role and rank that God has given us, we can lose the war and end up as a casualty of divorce To learn more about following rank and order and its practical application check out my book "Chaos in the Castle or Peace in the Palace?" It can be purchased from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, in both book and kindle format. Don't forget to post your comments on the blog below and share a link with all your facebook friends!​