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​The fact that South Carolina is #1 in the nation when it comes to domestic violence is definitely a necessary conversation. On Saturday I had the pleasure of attending Love Shouldn’t Hurt-A Safe Relationship Conversation, a domestic violence awareness conference in Columbia, SC. This very informative and moving event featured skits, a powerful keynote speaker, a panel discussion by community leaders, and more.

​Love Shouldn’t Hurt was the brainchild of activist, author, and playwright, Kiwan Fitch. Kiwan, a native of Jersey City, NJ is also the founder of the Empowerment Corp, a community organization created to educate, enlighten, and empower women and families to achieve personal access with civic responsibility in mind (as stated on the organization’s Facebook page). Meeting Kiwan was a pleasure. She is a dynamic change-maker and it’s obvious that she is passionate about the well-being of women and families. Hence, this awesome event…

​“You can’t judge a book by its cover” is one of the statements made by the event’s keynote speaker, Melissa Holmes. At first glance, she appears to be (and is) a strong, focused woman who’s taking care of business. I would have never guessed that she is a two-time survivor of domestic violence. I listened, with a lump in my throat, to her emotional story of surviving two life-threatening relationships. She spoke of enduring, and eventually escaping, brutal physical abuse, verbal abuse, and emotional abuse. Melissa will tell you “I am no longer a victim. I am a victor!” Melissa has become a domestic violence awareness champion, sharing her story for the purpose of saving the lives of other women who may be enduring violent relationships. I’m sure that anyone who hears her speak walks away feeling empowered. I know that I did. Here are some of the take-away lessons that I gleaned from Melissa’s story:

As stated above, don’t judge a book by its cover. Don’t assume that your loved ones are “too strong” to become domestic violence victims. Pay attention to the signs. It may save a life.

Situations in which the abuser manipulates other family members makes it even more difficult for the victim to escape. A support system is crucial to survival.

There are community resources available to domestic violence victims. Never allow pride to keep you from using these resources as a bridge from the violent relationship to a more stable environment.

Escaping from a violent relationship is difficult, but it’s worth it to take the steps necessary to save your life.

Seek counseling for yourself and your children to help heal the emotional scars of domestic violence.

The final segment of Love Shouldn’t Hurt was a panel discussion. The panel was comprised of male and female community leaders in fields directly and indirectly related to domestic violence awareness. Unfortunately, I only witnessed the first few minutes of the discussion, but I’m sure that valuable information and ideas were exchanged during the discussion.

​I was excited to learn about Damsel In Defense, a direct sales company that aims to empower women with safety and defense products. Kiwan is in the process of becoming a rep, so we will soon have Damsel in Defense rep in South Carolina!

Nope! Love certainly shouldn't hurt. I must admit l find it hard to hear of people staying in violent relationships. It's brainwashing of the wrongest kind. Get help, and don't feel shame. Nobody deserves to be hurt. Great post and l hope it inspires those who need it.

I had no idea SC was known for domestic violence. I am so happy to see awareness being brought to this issue especially with social media allowing us the ability to share the information and make it widespread and known.

This is such an important post! To be in this situation is incredibly hard and to walk away takes a lot of muster and courage. You listed some great takeaways that I hope will encourage someone in this situation to take the necessary actions.

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Antoinette C. is a blogger who delights in all things that foster unity and growth in women. After all, if the woman is happy and fulfilled, so is her family and community. Through Truly Charmed, Antoinette will introduce you to women who have inspired her, and who will, hopefully, do the same for you! Here's to your charmed life!