This is the second of an eleven part book summary series of a book I am currently reading. So we will finish it together! =) I urge you to get a copy of your own*, since these summaries do not and cannot do justice to the book.

What is Grace?

As a very, very, very, new Christian, the concept of Grace is well, new to me. I had always thought that to get saved you needed to believe in God and do good works, and then maybe, if the good work you did was enough, you can be deemed worthy to go be with God.

Grace is the complete opposite of this. God loves you and accepts you, for you, and the good work that you do is a result of that love.

What’s the bottom line in grace-based parenting?

We need to treat children in a way that draws them to us, and the safety and security of our love. Grace is not a get-out-of-responsibility-free card but Grace allows us to make a distinction about what matters and what doesn’t. It helps us give kids the freedom to be simply be “kids” and keeps us from being in a reactive mode as they go through certain stages, like being a pre-teen!

Have you found the truth behind grace?

* It’s available on Amazon, as an e-book and a physical book and at the Victory Fort Bookstore as a physical book.

I will be doing an eleven part book summary series of a book I am currently reading. So we will finish it together! =) I urge you to get a copy of your own*, since these summaries do not and cannot do justice to the book.

The book is divided into 11 Chapters, and I will do one blog entry per chapter:

Why Well Meaning Parenting Falls Short

The Truth Behind Grace

A Secure Love

A Significant Purpose

A Strong Hope

A Delivery System for Grace

The Freedom to Be Different

The Freedom to Be Vulnerable

The Freedom to Be Candid

The Freedom to Make Mistakes

Evening Grace

So let’s get to it shall we?

Why Well Meaning Parenting Falls Short

Dr. Kimmel tells us that how we view God partly determines how we parent our children. If you view God as a judgmental God, then you will most likely be a judgmental parent. If you view God as a one who wants you to follow rules, they you may become a legalistic parent.

Judgmental Parents

According to the book,judgmental parents are those parents of spend most of thief time making sure that their family is better than the ones around them. You would often hear from parents like these something along these lines “You may be bad, but you are better than so-and-so.”

Kids with judgmental parents often leave home with the a sense of spiritual elitism.

Legalistic Parents

One the other hand, legalistic parents are described in the book as those who spend most of their time trying to make sure that their family does everything right. You would often hear from parents like these something along these lines “You may be bad, but if you try harder, you can ultimately please God.”

Kids with judgmental parents often leave home feeling guilty.

Grace-based Parenting

The author tells us that there is a third way…being grace-based parents. Grace-based parenting is one where we transmit and share to our children the grace (defined as unmerited favor) God gives us. You would often hear from parents like these something along these lines, “You may struggle doing the right thing sometimes, but you’re forgiven.”

Grace-based parents are often keenly aware of their propensity toward sin, and this makes the grace and love they received from Christ that much more appreciated.

Kids with grace-based parents often leave home with the feeling that they know first hand what the genuine love of God looks like.

To be clear, Grace does not exclude obedience, respect, boundaries, or discipline but it does determine the climate under which these are carried out.

What are children’s inner needs?

A need for security

A need for significance

A need for strength

What should we, as parents, do in order to held our children meet these needs?

We need to give them love, purpose, and hope.

In summary, grace is not so much what we do as parents, but how we do what we do.

Would like to be a grace-based parent?

* It’s available on Amazon, as an e-book and a physical book and at the Victory Fort Bookstore as a physical book.