Never thought life would turn out the way it has now.

Never thought the way I am feeling is how I will feel some day but I do and its nothing like how I have thought it would be. And every time sad, lonely, depressing thoughts come, I start thinking about everything, mostly the stuff, that would make me think more, more than I ever want to.

One of the things I think about is, 'Why is there a huge wall between after everything?' Do I just feel this way? I wish I did, but the truth is the huge wall exists between. I am not sure why it exists, only if I get the clear answer would help but, silence is what I get mostly. Why is it taking time to go away? It bugs me when I think about it, takes days to get over and something happens comes back so quickly, even thought I don't want it to ever. I don't get answer and I end up with same question 'Why?'

@2.40pm
After talking a little, I think me feeling down/depressed is little fading away. This is life and is it the quarter life crisis I am having, as J.Walter, one of my friends mentioned. But again when is the wall going away, is there a way to move that wall.