The Office Space Thread

Effective immediately, all amusing, odd, alarming, strange and/or infuriating incidents occurring at your office should be described in this thread. Contributors should be Coachella Message Board members who are currently employed in an office environment.

To help reduce the number of unemployment benefit claims, please do not use actual names of companies, organizations or people. Please do not add identifiable photographs of your co-workers. Or, if you want to be a total retard, go ahead and do all those things.

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The VP of HR just walked by my cube and told me that we were bringing in a “wellness consultant” next week and he would like me to meet with this consultant on Wednesday. He provided no additional details. I asked him what exactly was the purpose of the meeting and he told me “Oh, you’ll find out.” Obama death panel???

Re: The Office Space Thread

My desk is near the office fax machine, so everyone likes to come to my desk and use my pen before faxing. This is slightly annoying so i spent about an hour of a work day to make a custom double dead ended pen. This has almost completely stopped the visits by my co-workers on their way to the fax machine and created good lulz when people still try it. Yeah, im that bored at work.

Edit* One of my co-workers just asked how to spell lake.

Last edited by djandrews25; 05-27-2010 at 10:38 AM.

Originally Posted by juloxx

Shut the fuck up you pussy. If you dont get down with Westside Connection you have no credibility in the music world what so-ever. Get off these forums you *** *** and go bump your N'sync

Re: The Office Space Thread

meetings to revise letters & screenshots infuriate me.

it would be a hell of a lot faster for people to take 15 minutes at their desk to read the text and then send off their notes to the editor. the editor can then review all the notes and make changes accordingly. or i don't know, maybe INVITE THE FUCKING EDITOR to the meeting so y'all don't spend fifteen minutes arguing about something only she can answer. i want to shoot everyone i was just in the room with, what a waste of fucking time.

Originally Posted by malcolmjamalawesome

It's when we discuss Coachella that we are at our collective dipshittiest.

Re: The Office Space Thread

Originally Posted by chairmenmeow47

meetings to revise letters & screenshots infuriate me.

it would be a hell of a lot faster for people to take 15 minutes at their desk to read the text and then send off their notes to the editor. the editor can then review all the notes and make changes accordingly. or i don't know, maybe INVITE THE FUCKING EDITOR to the meeting so y'all don't spend fifteen minutes arguing about something only she can answer. i want to shoot everyone i was just in the room with, what a waste of fucking time.

my favorite is when we have meetings about when to schedule meetings.

Or when my boss calls in the freelancers to our engineers' meetings to take 20 seconds to tell them something and then tell them to go home. It's extremely difficult to send an email or call 3 people apparently. We have have to be face to face when we get reminders to make sure all the lights are off when we work graveyard shifts.

Re: The Office Space Thread

My coworker has been talking to me for the past 20 minutes about how she had coffee with some guy from Bon Jovi who is neither Bon Jovi or Richie Sambora, but who once composed music for some broadway show. She keeps on talking even though I am now noticeably typing.

Re: The Office Space Thread

Oh, excellent thread...I'll be in here a lot. The last time I was at work I listened to a 10 minute conversation about planning on having a meeting start 20 minutes earlier than scheduled, because there was so much they needed to get done, and yes perhaps everyone will be alright with starting twenty minutes earlier? Let's double check.

Re: The Office Space Thread

I have this co-worker who talks forever. There's no cutting him off. I dread when he starts talking to me bedause I know there's no escape and he doesn't read body language or get any other non verbal signs so he just keeps going and going. He's super obsessed with Foreigner, Scorpians, Journey, Petra and all that early 80's rock. I mean super obsessed. One day he brought in his autograph/ticket stub into work. It's page after page of tickets stubs from some of the worst concerts in the history of music. He was so damn excited and I would say things like 'oh, that's kinda cool, not really my kind of music' and he would chuckle a bit and continue on. I couldn't believe this book of ticket stubs. Even christrian rockers like Petra and Stryper. It was the greatest era of music ever and he refuses to let go. It's gotten worse. Now he forwards me e-mails from some e-mail group he is in. I have no idea what it's all about because I never read them and never click his links. They are from this site though. I guess i'll click on the link after I post this.

Re: The Office Space Thread

My VP would never fuck around that way. Please stop spreading blatant lies about the way I run my organization.

Um, were you referring to me? I'm the only one who mentioned a "VP" prior to your post. Are we... co-workers??

Excellent contributions, everyone. Some of you have dreadful co-workers. I've only been at my new job for about a month. I like all my co-workers so far, but perhaps it's too early to tell.

I am so tempted to post the design submissions I received from a troubled young college student today; all in colored pencil. He wants to design merchandise for our stores. I think he needs to hire a designer. And an artist.

Re: The Office Space Thread

Originally Posted by Courtney

We should set up your coworker and my coworker.

Sounds like a plan. This guy is in his mid 40's, just had his two front teeth pulled is about 6'1 300 lbs. He loves his dogs and long walks on the beach. Ideal 1st date would be a Foreigner cover band playing locally.

Re: The Office Space Thread

When I took over the Surgical unit that had been run into the ground, I had every employee go through a panel interview to decide who to keep and who to suggest employment outside of our health system to. I joked after about the 30th interview to the others on the panel that we were the Bob's. They had no idea what the hell I was talking about. I had to make my new boss watch Office Space to explain it to her. She thinks I'm wierd.

Re: The Office Space Thread

Originally Posted by Courtney

My coworker has been talking to me for the past 20 minutes about how she had coffee with some guy from Bon Jovi who is neither Bon Jovi or Richie Sambora, but who once composed music for some broadway show. She keeps on talking even though I am now noticeably typing.

It's David Bryan (keyboards/piano). He wrote the score to Tennessee.

Please do not ask me how I know this.

Originally Posted by RandyInHeaven

Devin - how does it feel to know that there are still more women in the world that would fuck me at this very moment than would fuck you?