Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

MY HUSBAND SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO GO

I usually dog him totally out and yesterday I let it rip...but I took 1 HOT SECOND and thought about how I felt when he came home and was distant and mean and wondered if I was treating him like I was last night BECAUSE I KNOW I have loving arms waiting for me across town. And as bad as I wanted to continue to verbelly beat him down...I looked into his eyes and watched his demeanor and I realize how sorry he really really is. I went downstairs thought for a while and then came back up and wrapped my arms around him. I could hear soft saddening moans coming from him...I SAID SOME REALLY FOUL things including asking him if he realizes that I don't love him like I use to and he sees the BITCH in me why won't he just GO!!!? I told him I have no problem replacing his ass with someone who is waiting in the wings. His reply was I know how you feel about me Carliss...I know....and I don't and won't go because I guess I'm just stupid. I felt really bad for him. So I have decided to try and clean up my act around him. YES I HATE WHAT HE HAS DONE WITH A PASSION!!!!! BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT'S NOT FAIR TO KEEP DRAGGING HIM...AND I DO GET DOWN AND DIRTY. I'll give him a chance...I guess...to see if I can get past this. This DOES NOT MEAN I'M GOING TO STOP DEALING WITH MY FRIEND....But I can at least pretend I respect him and not treat him like dog shit on the bottom of a new pair of Jimmy Choo shoes. It's a start. The only thing I wonder is WHERE WAS THIS UNDYING LOVE while he was boning his other chicks? Can anybody help me on that one?

Ooh...ooh...ooh...ooh...
Ooh...I heard (I heard) it through grapevyne
(Boy, you know that I)

I heard it through the grapevine
That you aint feelin too fine
And I hope that you feel much better
Yes, I do (I really do, I really do) really

Happened on the day I left
Since that day you havent been the best (You havent been the best, babe)
And I hope that you feel much better (Oh...)
Yes, I do

You looked into my eyes
You said to me that night
That you would never cheat on me
Or break my heart

Inside I never knew
Your love was so untrue
I thought that I was your only
Boy, was I wrong, so wrong

Never do somethin thatll catch up to ya
(You did me wrong and told me lies)
Never do somethin that youll live to regret
(You hurt me so bad, babe)

Deep in my heart I feel sorry for ya
(You had to lose a damn good thing)
Lovin me could have been good
(Losing my love was a shame, baby)

I heard it through the grapevine (Oh, no)
That you aint feeling too fine (No-no-no, baby)
Hope that you feel much better
Yes, I do (I really, really do, baby) really

Happened on the day I left (It happened on the day I left)
Since that day you havent been the best (You havent been the best, baby)
Hope that you feel much better (No-no-no-no)
Yes, I do

We choose to play love games
We lose, we face the pain
Those lonely nights and that heartache
That empty space

Ill share with you my dreams
Those precious tender things
Everybody plays a fool
I guess I played my part for you

Never do somethin thatll catch up to ya
(You did me wrong and told me lies)
Never do somethin that youll live to regret
(You hurt me so bad, babe)

Deep in my heart I feel sorry for ya
(You had to lose a damn good thing)
Lovin me could have been good
(Losing my love was a shame)

I heard it through the grapevine
That you aint feeling too fine (Oh, no)
Hope that you feel much better
Yes, I do (I really, really do, baby) really

Happened on the day I left (It happened on the day I left)
Since that day you havent been the best (You havent been the best, baby)
Hope that you feel much better
Yes, I do

Oh, boy, you had my faith, you had my trust, you had my love
But now I have to take it back, it didnt work for us
And all I really needed was your lovin
Yes, all I really needed was your lovin

I was your lady and theres nothin that I would not do
Now heres a Dear John letter that Ive written just for you
And all I really needed was your lovin
Yes, all I really needed was your lovin, hey...

Never do somethin thatll catch up to ya
(You did me wrong and told me lies)
Never do somethin that youll live to regret
(You hurt me so bad, now baby)

Deep in my heart I feel sorry for you
(You had to lose a damn good thing)
Lovin me could have been good
(Losing my good love was such a shame)

I heard it through the grapevine
That you aint feelin too fine (Oh, no)
Hope that you feel much better (Hey...)
Yes, I do (I really, really do, baby) really

Happened on the day I left
Since that day you havent been the best (You havent been the best , baby)
Hope that you feel much better
Yes, I do (I love it, oh, no)

Heard it through, heard it through (No-no-no-no-no-no-no)
I heard it through that grapevyne (I heard it)
Heard it through (Grapevyne), heard it through
Grapevyne, grapevyne (I heard it)

Heard it through, heard it through
I heard it through that grapevyne
Hope that you feel much better
Yes, I do

I have no clue.. how you're feeling it sounds like you still want to be with your H. Be careful. I don't think people think about the dangerous part of this sort of thing first emotionally then physically. I seem to think of the physical first not everyone takes a spouse having an affair lightly some of us have been pretty calm about it, but some spouses don't react the same way and I would be afraid for your lover and you. Does he know your married. Girl I'm just worried that you are moving by emotion only and not thinking about what will come withall of this. I just had to say that.

That IS a good question to ask the cheaters&quot; where was the love and honor respect while you were in bed with your lover? Is the spouse SO easily forgotten? did you look into your lovers eyes and say &quot; oh, Iwant to remind you that although I'm about s+++++w your brains out, I DO love my wife/husband. I'm just f_____ing around.&quot;

I think it depends on the situation needhelp2 because some people know its just a screw and don't even try to take it to another level, but then there are those that you are talking about that don't think about anyone else and just go out screwing without thinking about anyone. Not even the Lover..I don't feel bad for the lover if they knew that this person was married.

Carliss, I am very concerned about the level of your anger. And are you also having an affair with someone? Get some counseling. Believe me, speaking from the perspective of someone who almost went too far with physical aggression and did go to far with destroying his property, IT ISN'T WORTH IT! YOU AND YOU ALONE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU DO! Act, instead of react!

Here are some decisions I have made recently that I feel are sensible and logical.

1. Act instead of react
2. Live my life based not on the abuse that has been heaped on me but on what I am going to end the abuse
3. Start to separate some of my financial stuff from his because he has been spending recklessly for several months now

See what I mean, as hard as it is to do this, think with your brain and not your emotions! And you might even end up harming your own physical health.

Do you think that because he cheated first, and that you believe (foolishly) that your cheating is a result of his cheating, that you are any better than him? The game of &quot;Tit for Tat&quot; that you are all playing could go on forever, and all it means is that you are both really messed up when it comes to relationships.

You all need professional help. These sites are for support. You all are way past needing support...you need real professional help to figure out what the heck is going on in your heads and then in your relationship.

In the meantime, the absolute BEST thing you can do FOR YOURSELF, is to quit fooling yourself that you have a good reason for participating in an adulterous relationship. There is not one single good reason. And you are wrong to blame your cheating on his cheating.

Cheating is cheating. No one makes another person cheat. Doesn't matter what their family situation is. They make the decision on their own.
How could I be angry with my husband for cheating, if I had done so myself???

Carliss I remember you from when we both started coming here. I remember your pain and anguish and yes the anger we both had.

I am glad you found someone else to help you through this. But that being said, are you being honest with this new man in your life?

I know your anger, and your pain from the constant cheating. Mine to probably has a daughter with the whore.Some days I feel ok and other days I ask myself what the hell I am doing still talking to him and allowing him in my home.

Please seek counseling and be true to yourself. If you truly are done with your husband,and cant reconcile your marriage then make the break. If you are wanting to work on your marriage, well the only way to do that is to let your new friend go.

I say this with deep empathy for your situation and knowing your pain. YOU can`t honestly work on either relationship, the new or your marriage, while your trying to balance both. Take Care of YOU

I'll try to answer all questions in this one response..here it goes
Yes I am RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN ACTIONS..HE CHAETED SEVERAL TIMES, BOUGHT SERIOUS DRAMA TO MY HOME AND OUR SON..SO I DECIDED THAT I'M DONE BEGGING HIM TO LOVE ME OR JUST SHOW SOME COOTH FOR THAT MATTER. I'M CHEATING BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT I WAS PUSHED TO DO. I'M A VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN AND HAVE HORDS OF MEN DAILY WANTING TO KNOW ME..BUT I NEVER WENT THAT ROUTE. BUT SINCE HE FEELS THAT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO JUST GET OVER THE BS THAT HE ENGAGED ME IN WITHOUT MY DAMN KNOWLEDGE..THEN ONCE THE SHIT HITS THE FAN ABOUT WHAT I'M NOW DOING..HE SHOULD PICK UP HIS BALLS AND GET OVER IT TOO. SECONDLY I'M A VERY HONEST PERSON..HE KNOWS HOW I FEEL ABOUT WHAT HE HAS DONE AND HE KNOWS THAT I MAY MEET SOMEONE AND MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE..I TELL HIM DAILY..HE REFUSES TO GO CAUSE HIS DUMB ASS DON&quot;T OWN SHIT..IT&quot;S ALL MINE. HAD IT BEFORE I MET HIM AND ANYTHING I BOUGHT SINCE I'VE KNOWN HIM I PAY FOR WITH MY CREDIT CARD/MY MONEY!!! HIS ASS WON&quot;T GET SHIT!!! YES MY FRIEND KNOWS ABOUT HIM AND HAS BEEN THERE THOROUGH THE YEARS AND HAS WITNESSED HIS NASTY WAYS. ALSO I AM NOT ANGRY ANYMORE...I'M DONE. THERE IS A BIIIIIIG DIFFERENCE. I DON&quot;T SIT AROUND WORRYING ABOUT WHO HE IS GETTING WITH CAUSE HE&quot;S WELL AWARE TO MAKE SURE CARLISS FINDS OUT NOTHING ABOUT WHAT HE&quot;S DOING. WE HAVE NO ARGUMENTS OR FIGHTS CAUSE IT&quot;S A LOSE LOSE SITUATION FOR HIM. NOW I'M NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN..BUT I HAVE NEVER BEEN THE TYPE OF BROAD WHO MAKES HERSELF DEPENDENT ON NO MAN!!! PERIOD!! I SEE THOUSANDS OF WOMEN HERE WHO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE TRAPPED BY VARIOUS THINGS, BEING PREGNANT, AT HOME MOM, HE OWNS BUSINESS, ETC.ETC. I WOULDN&quot;T DARE GET CAUGHT UP LIKE THAT. DON'T MISUNDERSTAND WHAT i&quot;M SAYING..OH HE'S THE PERFECT HUSBAND NOW CAUSE HIS ASS GOT CAUGHT!!! SO DOES THAT REALLY MEAN CRAP...HELL NO..IT ONLY MEANS HE GOT CAUGHT. HE DID EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTED WITHOUT A CARE IN TE WORLD. SO FUCK IT...NOW I&quot;M DOING EXCATLY WHAT I WANT AND HAVE NOT A CRE IN THE WORLD OUTSIDE OF ME &amp; MY SON. HE MADE IT THAT WAY PERIOD POINT BLANK. SO NOW THAT HE'S MADE HIS BED..HE CAN EITHER LAY IN IT...OR MOVE HIS ASS SO THE NEXT MAN CAN!!! I HAVE NO SYMPHATY FOR ANY MAN OR WOMAN THAT WOULD DO SUCH A THING REPEADETLY. MY HUSBAND MESSED AROUND SEVERAL TIMES BUT EACH TIME HE GOT BUSTED HE REFUSED TO GO, STARTED STALKING AND I MEAN HE ACTUALLY GOT A LADDER, PLACE IT AGAINST THE BACK OF MY HOME AND BANGED ON MY DAMN BEDROOM WINDOW YELLING AND SCREAMING AT MY GUEST TO GET OUT, THAT THIS WAS HIS HOME AND HIS P.....THOSE EXACT WORDS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME..WHEN 2 NIGHST PREVIOUS HE HAD A GUEST AND I POPPED UP AND HE TOLD ME HE LIKED HER, WANTED HER, AND WE WERE OVER. SO IN REALITY WHAT HE WAS DOING WAS..IF HE WANTED TO SCREW SOMEONE HE WOULD CONVIENTLY DROP ME AND SCREW HER, THEN ONCE HE&quot;S DONE..OH HE'S MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE, HE WAS ANGRY, LET&quot;S WORK IT OUT. THIS GOES ON TIL HE MEETS THE NEXT BIG BOOTY CHICK AND IT REPEATS ITSELF. I'M NOT GOING TO KEEP GOING TRU THAT. I TOLD HIM SEVERAL TIMES TO KICK BRICKS CAUSE HE'S GOOD FOR NOTHING BUT PAYING MY DAMN BILLS. HE CRIED AND STAYED..DUMB ASS. SO NOW I DON&quot;T GIVE 2 SHITS ABOUT WHAT THE HELL HE DOES..ACTUALLY I HAVE EVEN OFFERED FOR HIM TO BE A ROOM MATE SINCE I HAVE A 4 BEDROOM HOUSE..HE WAS HURT AND INSULTED. I WAS HELLA SERIOUS CAUSE ALL THE REST IS IRRELEVANT TO ME NOW. I DIDN&quot;T ASK FOR IT..THIS IS THE CARDS HE DEALT ME AND i&quot;M PLAYING BY MY OWN FREAKIN RULES. I REALLY REALLY REALLY CAN GIVE 2 SHITS ABOUT WHAT BECOMES OF HIM OR THIS SO CALLED MARRIAGE. EITHER WAY I'M ON TOP NOW. AND SINCE I&quot;M NOT UNDER HIS DAMN BOOT ANYMORE SHIT AIN&quot;T QUITE AS FUNNY AS IT WAS WHEN HE WAS DISHING THE DIRT NOW IS IT!!!? AS FOR MY FRIEND AND I...I'M 37 AND HE&quot;S 25...I&quot;M GOING WITH THE FLOW. I'm NOT LOOKING TO MARRY HIM, ALTHOUGH I ENJOY EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM SO FAR. IF WE PROGRESS GREAT (TOO BAD FOR HUBBY). THIS IS THE CHANCE HE TOOK TAKING MY LOVE FOR HIM AND MY DESIRE TO HAVE A FAMILY AS A WEAKNESS. SO WHEN HE DECIDED TO MESS AROUND THAT LAST TIME (THAT I KNOW OF) AND GET THE GIRL PREGNANT ALL BETS WAS OFF!!! I DON&quot;T CARE...AND LIKE I TOLD HIM SATURDAY....IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU HAVE DONE, AND YOUR NOT HAPPY WITH THE WOMAN I HAVE BECOME (CAUSE I TRULY HAVE CHANGED)THEN HE CAN PACK IT UP AND MOVE OUT. HELL THAT GIRL HE GOT PREGNANT WOULD TAKE HIS ASS IN A NEW YORK SECOND AND TOTALLY FORGET HOW HE TREATED HER. HE'S WASHED UP AS FAR AS I&quot;M CONCERNED. MAYBE WHEN hE&quot;S GONE I MIGHT MISS HIM...BUT AT THIS VERY SECOND.... MY MIND IS FOCUSED ON BUSTING MY ASS HERE AT WORK TO KEEP A ROOF OVER ME AND MY SON&quot;S HEAD, FOOD ON THE TABLE FOR MY BABY BOY, and WHAT LIE CAN I TELL NEXT TO GET AWAY FROM HIM AND INTO THE ARMS OF KELVIN.....HE MADE THE BED..PERIOD.

Carliss we all know where you are coming from. You are angry and have every right to be. This thing with the other man is a form of punishment. You know that there is never ever going to be anything good in the future with your husband. Not only have you lost any respect for him you are in the punishment game and are going to punish him as long as he can take it. Be careful he may crack and you could wind up hurt Physically or even dead. Your son needs his mom. Your friend knows the situation right? He is a guy too and since he is willing to participate that means he is a cheater also. No different from your husband. It says this guy is just on a booty call. It is easy to be sympathize when there is going to be booty involved. If you think that you may be serious about this other man cut all ties with him. If you think there is even the remotest possibility of reuniting with your husband cut all ties with the other man. You can not have it both ways it is not healthy mentally or physically. We hear you loud and clear and no doubt you are a beautiful woman on the outside. Right now the inside appears to be ugly. Clean it up and be the person you want to be. Fresh and all new without all this tit for tat stuff. This can not be good for you and your well being is most important to all of us. You do not have to accept things that you would not normally do or be just because your husband was an ass. You are better than that. You have your son. I know about owning everything. Did you ever think that could have been some of your husbands insecurities. No excuse for cheating but could be an underlying problem he had. our goal is to see that you are healthy and happy. It is good that you share these feeling with all of us because you need us more now than you did when you first came on all broken hearted and torn up.
Take care of you

I believe this lady knows her marriage is over. I don't think reuniting with her husband is possible. There is so much hurt and anger here. Neither one is willing to stop and take stock of what is happening in this relationship. Each one is going full speed over a cliff. He seems to only be sorry when he is between affairs and that his wife is not paying attention. He knows something is different at home.

I don't see any caring or remorse from either party. She is right. They should live as roomates and caregivers for their son if its possible. But if they cannot be civil to each other, this will not be a good situation for a child.

I also want to tell you that I know men who cheat. But if their wives did the same, they would be angry and maybe violent. Although your husband has cheated many times, he may not look at your cheating the same way. I would be careful.

@ MSKITCAT...THANKS SO MUCH...A VERY WISE PERSON WHO DOESN'T AGREE WITH ME BUT CAN ANNOUNCE HER OPINION AND DISAGREEMENTS WITHOUT ALL THE FINGER POINTING OR BLAMING...I'M TAKING WHAT YOU SAID INTO SERIOUS CONSIDERATION. I DON&quot;T FEEL AS IF I'M GETTING BACK AT MY HUSBAND BECAUSE HE DOESN&quot;T KNOW ABOUT MY NEW FRIEND..THAT WOULD BE THE ONLY WAY THAT HE COULD BE PUNISHED. TRUTH IN FACT IS HE WAS PUNISHING HIMSELF THE ENTIRE TIME HE CHEATED. I TOLD HIM THIS. I TOLD HIM THAT HE WAS MAKING THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF HIS LIFE AND HE REALLY DIDN&quot;T GIVE 2 SHITS. HIS MIND WAS FOCUSED ON WOMEN OUT THERE WILLING TO SPEND ALL THIER MONEY ON HIM, BENDING OVER BACKWARDS TO DO WHATEVER IT WAS THAT HE SAID AND THAT ONE PARTICULAR ONE WHO STOOD IN MY FACE WITH SERIOUS LOVE FOR HIM IN HER EYES(EVEN WHILE HE TOLD HER HE WAS COMING HOME)TOLD ME THAT THEY F_____ LIKE RABBITS. I WILL NEVER LOOK AT HIM THE SAME AGAIN. HE IS NOT THE PERSON WHO HE PAINTED HIMSELF TO BE. HE IS THE MAN THAT WILL SCREW YOUR MOTHER, YOUR SISTER, YOUR BESTFRIEND IN THE NEXT ROOM IF YOUR SLEEP. IT'S NOT MY FAULT HE MADE ME FEEL THIS WAY FOR HIM. AND I'M NOT GOING TO DO ONE DAMN THING TO CLEAN THIS MESS HE MADE UP. I'm GOING TO LIVE MY LIFE, KEEP RIDING MY NEW PENIS WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A THOUGHT FOR HIM. AS FOR ME OWNING EVERYTHING...IF IT WAS A PROBLEM FOR HIM THEN HE&quot;S EVEN DUMBER THAN I THOUGHT...BECAUSE I UPLIFT HIM TOO!!! I GOT HIM INTO SELLING CARS AND I&quot;M THE ONE WHO KEEPS AFTER HIM ABOUT SAVING MONEY SO WE CAN OPEN OUR OWN BUSINESS (I HAVE MINE ALREADY STARTED..LADIES GIVE ME YOUR EMAIL ADDRESSES AND I CAN SEND YOU PHOTOS OF MY PRODUCTS)I HAVE CLIENTS AS FAR AS COLORADO AND CALIFORNIA. BUT ANYWAYS I PUSH HIM TO ACHIEVE GREATNESS, CAUSE I'VE ALWAYS WANTED EVERYTHING. WHAT HE LACKS IN I GIVE. I'M THE ONE WHO SAVES MONEY WHILE HE DROPS $100 AT THE RED ROOF INN TO SLEEP WITH HIS SIDEWHORE. SO HIM NOT HAVING ANYTHING TO BE FRANK IS BECAUSE HE CAME FROM A FAMILY THAT DON&quot;T HAVE SHIT, THEY ARE NOT USE TO SHIT, AND WILL NEVER HAVE SHIT. I TRIED TO HELP HIM BE DIFFERENT AND BETTER. AND ALL THE WHILE i&quot;M TELLING HIM THAT ALL THIS IS OURS, HE&quot;S SO BUSY TRYING TO GET INTO THE OW PANTS THAT HE HIMSELF SAID TO HER THINGS SUCH AS..I DON&quot;T WANT TO BUY THAT HOUSE WITH HER, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT. SO NOW THAT HE&quot;S BACK IN THE HOUSE HE DIDN&quot;T CARE TO BE IN...DON&quot;T PRETEND YOU CARE SO MUCH NOW. AND IF YOU DO CARE TOO BAD CAUSE NOW I DON&quot;T. I'M SORRY IF THIS SOUNDS BAD...BUT I'M JUST GONNA BE TRUTHFUL. I REALLY DON&quot;T CARE ANYMORE PERIOD!!! HE DID EVERYTHING HE COULD TO PUSH ME TO THIS POINT AND NOW HE GOT JUST WHAT HE ASKED FOR. HE NEEDS TO DEAL WITH IT OR MOVE THE HELL ON. BUT HE WON'T AND SINCE HE CAN TRICK OFF IN THE STREETS WITH MONEY THAT COULD HAVE BEEN USED TO GET OUR SON SOME TUTORING (WHICH HE NEEDED BECAUSE HE COULDN&quot;T FOCUS ON HIS SCHOOL WORK CAUSE DADDY WAS TOO BUSY DRAGGING HIM BY HIS OW HOUSE AND GOT KEPT BACK) THEN I'M GOING TO MILK HIS ASS DRY!!!!! I DON&quot;T WANT TO EVER HEAR HE DON&quot;T HAVE AND IF HE DON&quot;T HE BETTER GET HIS ASS OUT THERE AND GET IT. I MAEANT WHAT I SAID TO HIM JUST LAST WEEK..HE KNOWS I MEANT IT...AND ANYTIME HE WANTS TO CHALLENGE ME...I DOUBLE DOG DARE HIS SORRY ASS!!!! WHAT HE WON&quot;T DO OR CAN&quot;T DO THERE ARE A FEW NICE GUYS WAITING IN LINE TO REPLACE HIS ASS AND TAKE OVER. WHAT DO I ALWAYS SAY...HE MADE HIS BED..NOW HE CAN LAY IN IT. NO SYMPHATY FOR SOMEONE AS DISGUSTING AND AS LOW AS HE IS!!!! NONE!!!

1.) She told him it was over.
2.) She told him there was no relationship.
3.) She asked him to be a roomate
4.) She has told him he could leave if he wishes but is kind enough to let him stay if he needs
5.) She has told him she is moving on
6.) and.. she has

And the problem here is what? Sure as hell doesn't sound like there IS A problem, except that they are still married. I believe she gave him the option of divorcing her as well. Yeah he knows what is going on because she told him:

ITS OFF, we're done, I will do as I please. He broke the commitment, she found her balls and moved on. I dont think she is punishing him, its how she FEELS, and she is entitled to that! She feels he has used her, abused her, cheated on her enough and decided to stand up for herself and MOVE THE HELL ON ( again let me point it out she has repeatedly told him she was free)......

Bravo to Carliss. I did the same damn thing, kinda LOL. (wasnt married, and had kicked him out already).

He DOESN'T DESERVE Carliss.

But, I would still divorce him. Maybe serve it up on his birthday and have him removed from your home legally. ( she cant just kick him out, most laws forbid this since they are married). Sorry.

In any event, good luck to you in your future. Drop the jerk completely and sue his ass for alimony. That will cover the bills.

Betrayedangel..YOUR ONE OF THE SWEETEST!!! I sent you a private message a while back and I just want to say thanks girlfriend. We (THE CHEATED ON AND DOGGED OUT) need to UPHOLD one another...NOT bash the other person down because we don't agree. Nobody should endure the PAINS and DEVESTATIONS that we and alot here have, but sometimes we are dealt certain unexpected situations and have to do what WE feel neccessary to move forward or just fight to breathe. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY...the negative comments only tickle my insdes because alot of people here just don't have a damn clue. Most will continue to go through the toment and hurt for years to come. They seem to think I'm still hurting...but I'm not. I believe what happened in my case is first came the devestation (while we were seperated), then when he came back shortly after he got tired of pounding random ass, I went into this mode where he was home, I had my eye on him and was kinda in denail (YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED HAPPENED, BUT HE CHOSE YOU SO YOU DON&quot;T SWEAT IT TOO BAD ALTHOUGH YOUR HURT), Now he's all in love (AFTER HE&quot;S GOTTEN HIS ROCKS OFF)and NOW I'M PISSED THINKING WHAT NERVE!!!! I DON&quot;T HAVE TO TAKE THIS CRAP. Now I'm in the mode where it's really his call I COULD CARELESS EITHER WAY. If he goes Good I can see whom I want when I want and that would be KELVIN. Or he can continue to stay and hope and pray that my heart softens towards him..don't get me wrong most days I'm not and easy going...but I'm just NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM ANYMORE. Hell I think he's doing pretty damn good forhimself, I'm still cordial with him, he has a very luxury/comfy home that he lives in, mortgage &amp; bills are easier on his pockets because it's 2 incomes (his and mine...I do help for those who think I make him pay every single thing), he has dinner cooked and served to him nightly...so I think he's doing pretty damn good for a COMMUNITY PENIS..wouldn't you say. I think most miss the fact that I have told him excatly how I feel about him, what he has done to me, the affect it took on our son when he was all in the open with his satanic ways, and he STILL WON&quot;T leave..cause it's CONFIRMED that in his PEA BRAIN..he believes that we can bounce back from 20 something hoes and a baby. NAW NOT HAPPENING. But like a poster said earlier...I have my bills paid, my son has his father who HAS changed his ways, I have a live in babysitter, AND I HAVE FULL CONTROL OF MY LIFE AND MY HOUSE!!! Nothing else matters.

I hear you on all that. Now, my ex fiance up and cheated on me 17 days after proposing to me. SEVENTEEN DAYS. And, he kept it going on for three months even though on DAY TWO I asked him if he was cheating. It was THAT obvious and my gut was onto it big time. He lied and denied and denied for three months while I was carrying our child. I KNEW he was cheating.

After I finally got the proof ( I already had her name, but needed more proof), it all comes gushing out of his big fat head that he cheated ( after he denied it of course).

Now I mean come on. I lost our kid. I went into a depression. HE GAVE ME STDS, which in fact, one of those is deemed to have been the cause of the miscarriage. And he THOUGHT I wasn't going to take that ring off?

I was done. I told him to his face that I was single, that he broke the commitment. For ANY woman out there that tells a man it is OVER who then moves on to be with another man, how is this cheating people? Married or not?

SHE TOLD HIM IT WAS OVER, DONE... NOTHING FROM HER ANYMORE. NO HUGGIN N A KISSING AND LOVE YOU AND WHAT NOT. .DONE BYE OVER.

I did the same with my ex. It pissed me off that he kept saying that if I got another man that would be &quot;cheating on him&quot; since we were still together. WE WEREN'T. I finally looked at him one day and said &quot;Is this how far your abuse has gone? that you are now going to tell me that I am still WITH you when I am not?&quot; I wasn't sleeping with him , near him, or beside him. I couldn't even kiss him.I fell out of love with him as hard and fast as I fell in love. Plain and simple.

Is that what we want Carliss to do? Just go home with her tail between her legs and tell her husband they are an item because HE says so or because a piece of paper says so? NO! NO man has that power over a woman and no woman that power over man. She isn't cheating when AGAIN she told him I AM MOVING ON, WE ARE OVER, THIS IS DONE, DO AS YOU WILL, STAY IF YOU WANT, COME AS YOU PLEASE, LETS JUST RAISE THE KID AND PAY BILLS.

It is nothing more than a keep sake relationship ( keeping up the bills and housework and raising the kid).

If her husband doesn't know that by now, hes an idiot. Not her.

Honestly though, the tie that binds should be unwound as soon as possible. I would cut him out of my life completely and kick his ass and every last piece of disrespect he has out on the curb and laugh my way to the bank with his alimony checks.

The only reason he is being good any more is because she isn't eating his shit. And she doesn't have to.

There was no freaking WAY i was staying with my ex, being an item and not doing my own thing! As soon as he THOUGHT about cheating on me, we were done, he just &quot;forgot&quot; to tell me. Yeah? Nuff said.

I've been following your posts for a while now and I have to wonder how much longer that keyboard of yours is going to last. I can only imagine the pounding of the keys with every post.

I understand your anger and I really don't know how easy it will be to just shut it off. When my ex cheated, the only thing that saved me was being separated from her smug, condescending self. I know that you have a child (not sure if it's biologocially his) and there is tremendous incentive to keep stability. This is the only reason that I can see you staying in a situation that will surely tear your heart apart. The problem with staying with a cheater is that his past behaviour is the only accurate prediction of what his future behaviour will be. The only change that he could possibly implement that would guarantee fidelity would be castration.

I would also stear clear of any relationships during this chaotic time in your marriage. There is so much anger that it clouds one's judgement allowing the cycle to repeat itself. Male faithfulness is not a dead concept (yet) and it is the most basic requirement for marriage. If he cannot honor this simple thing then marriage is futile.

I know that you're going to respond to this post eventually so I apologize to your keyboard in advance.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

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