Losing my cool detachment

Can someone who has visited the AFL LadderPredictor twice already today claim he doesn’t care where his team finishes? Not credibly, no.

I did not believe we could beat the Crows. I did not dare hope. But I was looking forward to this game more than any since the Carlton final last year (although that was hope mixed with fear and loathing, as it was Carlton and I half expected what eventuated).

Of course, being 4 goals up on Saturday night meant nothing; I still felt we were going to cough it up once the Adelaide A-graders started getting involved. Nothing in the first half from Sloan, Tex, Betts and Dangerfield – those guys were going to wake up and roll us, I thought.

We were still in the box seat when Mackay was injured. Why the %$#^& does a motorised gurney have to drive around the boundary like its a lap of honour? For God’s sake, point the thing at the medical room and floor it – get off. For the sake of the injured player and the team that had the momentum when the injury happens, in this case, the prone-to-nerves Tiges. Cue a rapid Crows fightback and suddenly we were only 3 points up and looking like we had done scoring for the night.

Once the kids go to bed at half time I click into serious mode, and I had finished the cider supplies and was riding the TV pretty hard by this stage. The goal review was farcical; is the 4th umpire the only person in Australia who gets Ch7’s footy in HD? What possible flicker of a pixel did he pick up to think that ball touched the padding? Only two people in the country thought that was a point; the video ump and Rhett Bartlett (who I am prepared to believe has hereditary superpowers). As Sloan pumped another one through moments later I don’t think it made much difference to the swing of the pendulum in the game. Even before we went behind I had surrendered the four points.

But – although the Tigers kicked 1.9 in that harrowing 3rd quarter, there was really only Deledio’s shot from about 25m that you could call a howler.

I haven’t watched back the last quarter – at the time it was just a shapeless frenzy, until Flash Gordon snapped beautifully to put us in front. Then we did a new trick – we iced the clock with skill and confidence! I love it. Dusty maybe pushed the hapless young Crow in the back to kick the sealer but I didn’t think so at the time. I just imagined Dugald going into raptures about his hips. Dugald ♥ Dusty’s hips – I am going to carve that into a tree outside Punt Road.

So we won, and now I am all about the AFL ladder predictor. I HONESTLY DON’T MIND MISSING THE FINALS as long as we give 100% against Saints and Swans. I wish there was an AFL Turn Up To Play Predictor. My pass marks (not that I care about %, see below) are (i) win every quarter against the Saints and (ii) be in with a genuine chance against the Swans going into the last quarter. Not a “Bruce feels like a couple of quick ones could relight the fire” chance; a genuine chance.

Like a surprising number of our fellow travellers here at TTBB and on Twitter, I find footy maths to be good fun; the combs and perms of the last few rounds are always a good workout for the brain. To my eyes, our percentage is irrelevant. No-one can catch us and we can’t reasonably catch Essendon, the only team in cooee of our %. A 2% swing is bloody hard to achieve at this end of the season.

It’s just occurred to me that after the shock and dismay of the Tatyoon Tiger’s early season-ending injury, we have actually had a blesséd run. Our 2013 B&F has only managed 10 games, and his leadership has been missed. But the official injury list now is those two, plus a couple of idiots each with a case of sore buttocks from sitting on the pine for an extended period after snotting a bloke who wasn’t looking. And then hopefully getting their arses kicked by everyone from Brendon down to the bootstudder.

Er, as I was saying, we have a very healthy list and it ALL GOES WELL FOR THE FUTURE. Go Tiges.

Comments

Love your description of riding the telly. I was with 13 mates on a weekend away and they graciously allowed the 3 Tigers in the the group to watch the match instead of Love Actually. By the 4th quarter the screaming at the TV was deafening, think they heard us in Lorne. What a match, and I quote Dugald from today “they have forgotten how to lose”. You could not write a better script than our 2014 season. This weekend’s match against the Saints will be huge.

It is like a movie script isn’t it? I think we all know that despite the huge improvement, if they do climb into the finals they are going to be outclassed. But maybe not straight away?? The possibilities are dizzying in any case.