Thursday, February 23, 2012

haggard

These couple of days had been rough. Got shouted at yesterday along with my peer, Yueming, for something that we're partially responsible (we won't repeat such stupid mistake anymore), but received an apology due to that this noon. The latter changed my mood all together - my optimism made a comeback. This morning was crazy too. My patient's folder arrived so late (waited for an hour and a half despite already requesting it a week earlier), I had to let her go only with a temporary filling, but Alhamdulillah, she wanted to continue the treatment during my noon clinical session. Alhamdulillah too because the patient for whom I am supposed to construct a pair of dentures was unwell for that session (it was reserved for her initially). After receiving the mentioned apology, my mood started to stabilise and the noon session went smoothly. In fact, I had never done such procedure that fast. Dear patient, you'll have your tooth crown soon, insya Allah.

I'm beyond exhaustion particularly in this week. I accidentally slept this evening (I don't like to take naps). Time and time again, the same question kept popping up in my mind, "Am I really for this? Is dentistry really for me? Am I moving at a pace fast enough to become a safe dentist in a few months?". I just... want to complete my degree in the shortest period possible. If not for my family, friends, and Allah, this place would have driven me completely insane. Here I am, still perfectly sane and still practising. May Allah grant me the strength to face His tests and protect me from all evil.

A month had passed since I left home for this place - my final 'all out' effort during this degree. Nonetheless, whether my strength will be adequate for me to hold myself from coming home for a short break for another five months or so; or not - that is still vague. Even weekends (Friday and Saturday in Kelantan) seem insufficient for me to rest and relax my mind. Dear comrades, hold my hand and help me through this, will you? Just a few more months to go. Just a few more months to go.

On the other hand, I really hope that more patients will start appreciating this free dental treatment we provide them. Of course, it's our own pleasure to get the opportunity to practise and learn, but in the same time, it needs a reciprocating effort for something to work out. The instruments and materials we use aren't cheap either. Most importantly, the time we spent on them. Help us to help you. Perhaps, it's also our part of the play - to educate the patients on this issue. Truth to be told, despite having easier access to information, we, Malaysians, although we're good at being verbal on certain issues, mentality-wise - we're still at a very low level. You can access journals and credible articles, and yet most people prefer to choose to listen to myths and words by mouth which are highly contaminated with bias. And to unfortunately many practitioners... although it might hurt your pocket a little bit, it'll help everyone so much if you spend some of your precious time to educate your patient at least a little bit. I had been someone's patient too.