This week we’re drafting a player that you wish had never left your favorite team. We’re opening it up beyond football to other major team sports. This player might have left via free agency, trade, or basically any other means besides retirement. It’s a two round snake-style draft, so there were obviously a lot of players that we never mentioned. Please grade our shitty picks and make your selections in the comments below.

1. Eric Sollenberger selects – Sean Taylor

The dude was the best football player I’ve ever seen. One time I saw him hit Lorenzo Neal so hard he made Ladanian Tomlinson fumble. I give people shit all the time for caring too much about the Redskins, but when he was shot I felt real sadness for a guy that I had never met. No matter how bad the Redskins were, it was always worth watching a game to see Taylor out-jump Randy Moss 1-on-1 or clothesline a running back.

2. PFT Commenter selects – Rush Limbaugh

Im more of a fan of NFL football in gernral,, I cant commit to one team for always but Im always a fan of one thing in particalar= NFL pregame shows.

Rush Limbaugh was a breathe of fresh air in a enviroment that was becoming a echo chamber at ESPN. Whether it was saying Black QBs are overrated or insinuiting that the NFL is being phased out by liberals he was allways right on the money. Every week I ask my self “What would Rush do?” no not play stupid music in dumb time sigatures- he would give STRONG TAKES folks.

Miss you Rush.

3. Tim Schavitz selects – LeBron James

I liked him in Cleveland. I rooted for Cleveland, if anything to shut up the Celtics love fest when Boston was winning championships in every league. He looked hungry, played angry. Despite what that Decision mess was, he plays on cruise control until he needs to put up a big game. He has a nice setup in Miami to join the Greatest of All Time conversation, but I think there’d be a lot more respect if he brought any Cleveland team a championship.

4. Trevor Risk selects – Nick Lowery

I dunno. I was a weird kid. This was his final exit from the game too:

Ed: No idea what kind of “lip” the ball boy could have responded with after being asked to warm up a kickers balls. That will forever remain a mystery, I suppose.

5. Old James selects – Bo Jackson

Getty Image

Anyway, sticking with the KC theme, I’m going with Bo Jackson. Best athlete of our, or maybe any, generation, and in appropriate fashion Royals fans were forced to watch in horror as his promising baseball career got ruined thanks to an injury he suffered playing for the fucking Raiders. Watching him struggle to regain his form in a White Sox uni still hurts to think about.

6. StuScottBooyahs selects – Champ Bailey

Years ago, back before Mike Shanahan was dicking over the Redskins by ruining RGIII, Shanahan dicked over the Redskins by talking Dan Snyder into parting with Champ Bailey in exchange for Clinton Portis. The former would go on to be one of the greatest cornerbacks so far this century, the latter would give the Redskins seven seasons before hanging it up, and was only healthy for four of them.

7. RobotsFightingDinosaurs selects – Shaq

Shaq has always been my favorite basketball player, and no matter how unfunny he is on NBA on TNT, or on any of his TruTV shows, he always will be. I grew up watching him play on the Magic alongside Penny Hardaway, and immediately decided they were my favorites because their names were cool. Yes, Shaq had more success on the Lakers, and Kobe/Shaq was amazing, especially because they couldn’t stand each other. But when Shaq left the Magic, when he hung up #32 and the pinstripes for #34 and Laker yellow, it was completely out of the blue, and I had to decide between following Shaq to the hell pit that is the Laker fandom, or to stick with Penny in Orlando. At the end of the day, I followed him, but it hurt when he left. Maybe it’s because that was the first time I had ever felt that kind of betrayal you feel when your favorite player leaves a team you like. That stuck with me.

8. Sarah Sprague selects – Jaromir Jagr

Mostly because over the years I don’t think there has been a player who I have been so upset when he left, angry at him once he was with the Caps, even madder when he went to Rangers, sad again when he went to Russia, crushed — absolutely gutted — when he came back and played for the Flyers, so on and so on. Was even sad when I tried to track down his sports bar in Prague just to find it had closed for good not long before.

I’d be lying to say that at the trade deadline today I wasn’t hoping a Devil’s team hungry for picks and would send him home to Pittsburgh for one last run. He’s going to retire soon and never be a Penguin again, and that just makes me sad.

9. Big Sandy selects – Mark McGwire

Ed. note: Sandy tried to preemptively select Drew Brees for when he eventually leaves the Saints which is not allowed under draft rules, but I am mentioning because it’s a great representation of how big of a crush the city of New Orleans has on him.

When the A’s lost Mark McGwire to the Cardinals, that was a bummer as I had grown up watching him since minor league baseball. Also, he was traded to the Cardinals, the arch-rival of my Cubs and therefore the enemy. Not that it really mattered because after he and Sosa “saved” baseball in 1998, it all came crashing down but I guess he’s not here to talk about the past.

10. Christmas Ape selects – Santonio Holmes

A little more than a year after winning Super Bowl MVP and making one of the most important catches in franchise history, Santonio Holmes was traded by the Steelers to the Jets to a fifth-round pick. It was less than what Holmes was worth at the time, though given what he’s done (or hasn’t done) with the Jets, hardly a huge rip-off in retrospect. But it was more the timing of the thing. The Ben Roethlisberger Milledgeville case had just surfaced about a month prior. The Steelers were standing by their superstar quarterback, but they needed another player to crack down on so as not to look like they aren’t the CLASSY CLASSY DOIN’ THE RIGHT WAY Steelers. So there was Santonio, recently accused of a throwing a glass at a woman in a nightclub, so that motherfucker had to go with the quickness. Franchise quarterback? Can’t crack down on him. Glory-boy receiver? GTFO. Granted, Santonio is kind of an idiot and I have little sentimental attachment to him beyond the SB XLIII catch. Still, seeing your favorite team be that transparently hypocritical is never fun. Ultimately, the Steelers went to the Super Bowl the following year, thanks in no small part to Mike Wallace, a receiver they had drafted the year before, so the trade didn’t damage the team too severely on the field. Nevertheless, still sucks to remember.

11. Christmas Ape selects – Keenan Lewis

Again, no real personal attachment. He’s just a really good, young cornerback that the Steelers stupidly let walk in free agency after the 2012 season because they had all their cap space tied up in past-their-prime veterans. The dramatic improvement in the Saints defense last year wasn’t all Rob Ryan wolfman howling on the sidelines. Adding a reliably solid cornerback will usually help quite a bit. So now Pittsburgh, just starting to emerge from cap hell, is left to either cut Ike Taylor, who despite being old and getting burned a lot, remains the team’s best corner by a not insignificant margin. Or they can possibly keep Ike, who will 34 by the time next season, and overpay him rather than facing the reality of William Gay and Cortez Allen as their two starting CBs of the immediate future. Not sure what’s more depressing.

12. Big Sandy selects – Chris Paul

I was front and center for the first years of the New Orleans Hornets and was lucky enough to watch CP3 play his first professional seasons with the team. Of course, those first two years I only got to see him live a handful of times thanks to the team splitting time in Oklahoma City post-Katrina and that’s what made him such a key player to latch on to; he gave a city in need of something a player to root for. He was comparable to Drew Brees in that way. New Orleans loves its sports and while attendance figures were never the best, the fans still loved Paul and he was always a great player for the team and the city. The team had their best season since the relocation once they came back to NOLA full-time for the 07-08 season and Paul led them to the playoffs 3 times in 4 seasons after the OKC split. What made the December 2011 trade to the Clippers more excruciating than it already was was the fact fans knew it was coming and had to experience the loss of Paul twice after the NBA stopped an original deal that would have sent him to the Lakers. Just a little salt in the wound. The Hornets/Pelicans haven’t sniffed a winning season since Paul was traded away and the Clippers are now one of the league’s elite teams. So it goes.

13. Sarah Sprague selects – Rod Woodson

The only player I’ve ever owned a jersey for, a victim of the Rooney family (in a move they would finally admit years later was a mistake) letting go of a veteran player they thought was going to be in decline sooner rather than later due to cap issues. Woodson was the Steelers in the early ’90s, the team that stood in the shadow of the dominate Penguins and yes, winning Pirates, in the city. The pride everyone felt when he was named to 75th Anniversary Team was real, one of the best players to ever play this position and he’s here with the Steelers. (I think Jerry Rice may have been the only other active player given the same honor.) And somewhere in a deep dark place I don’t like to visit, I’m happy he won a Super Bowl, just wish it had been with any other team but the Baltimore Ravens.

I also cannot help but think the reason we’re seeing the Steelers work so hard to keep Troy Polamalu with the team is the ghost of Woodson still haunts them, and their superstar deserved better even in the heartless, what-have-you-done-for-me-lately NFL.

(Edit – I think Ronnie Lott was also on the 75th Anniversary Team.)

14. RobotsFightingDinosaurs selects – Devin Hester

It’s recent, and he’s not even one of my top 3 favorite players on the Bears, but seeing him go after the Bears failed to take advantage of his athleticism in any position other than kick returning will be a damn shame. He’s consistently the most dangerous returner in the league, and it seems like every time Jim Nantz or whoever mentions it, he busts through for a TD or a huge return. The Bears aren’t just losing a weapon in Hester if they let him walk, they’re losing one of the most exciting players on the team– if not the most exciting.

Tim said he’ll make a great receiver on the Bucs. And though I’ll hate to see him in another uniform, and I’ll REALLY hate to see whoever the Bears sign now that they’ve cut Adam Podlesh punt to him, I’m sure he’s right. Dammit.

Tim: DAMN YOU SAM. Also, got a new theory on Hester:

Hester gets picked up by Lovie in Tampa, becomes #1 receiver. Vincent Jackson gets traded to Redskins for Grossman and a ton of picks. ’06 Bears rebuilding in progress.

Old James: It’d be interesting to see if the NFL allows Rex to have number 80085 in those new Bucs unis.

/Immature Take

Sarah: Let’s take a minute to pause and reflect on the fact we’re still talking about Grossman in 2014.

/Tebows

15. StuScottBooyahs selects – Peter Bondra

After spending 14 years with the Caps, the team’s greatest scorer (before Ovechkin) got shipped out towards the end of his career along with Jaromir Jagr as the Capitals blew up the team a year before Ovechkin came to town. He cried at the press conference announcing his departure to Ottawa, and ended up finishing his career with Chicago before hanging it up for good in 2007. Tough to watch a guy who was the face of your franchise and scored 472 times in a Caps sweater head out of town forever.

16. Old James selects – Tony Gonzalez

In a just world, the best ever at his position wins a Super Bowl or two playing for the team he started his career — then made his name — with. We don’t live in a just world. #88 left for Atlanta right before the Todd Haley regime, outplayed his age for several productive seasons, made the playoffs a couple times, then ended his career as one of the few bright spots on a pathetically underachieving team. Chiefs fans wanted him back for one final run, but it wouldn’t come to be. We’ll always have the memories, I guess.

17. Trevor Risk selects – Ray Bourque

Bourque would consistently re-sign with Boston without any lengthy negotiations and actually pissed off the NHLPA because they were trying to drive up wages and he straight up refused to set the watermark for defensemen salaries. He lead the team to two Stanley Cup appearances, getting annihilated by the Oilers both times, so in the twilight of his career the Bruins shipped his heroic ass to Colorado at his request, where he took home the cup while both fans in Boston and Quebec City took a moment to unclench their fists of rage to applaud the guy.

18. Tim Schavitz selects – Eli Manning

Eli essentially demanded a trade from San Diego before he was even drafted. This pick is about the “What If” level of impact on the NFL. Would the Patriots gone undefeated and shushed the ’72 Dolphins? How entertaining would Philip Rivers and Coughlin arguing on the sidelines be in NY? Would there be more or less Manning coverage? Eli took that all from us because he didn’t wanna play in San Diego.

19. PFT Commenter selects – John Rocker

it just wadnt right seeing John Rocker playing for the Indians and even worse when he kep asking why come Chief Wahoo didnt have a dot on his forehead smh

20. Eric Sollenberger selects – Lavar Arrington

Arrington and Chris Samuels were taken with the 2nd and 3rd overall picks in the 2000 draft. They were going to be the building blocks that turned the Redskins franchise around, but we’ve heard that before many, many times. Arrington was a force in his first several seasons, making the kind of highlight reel plays that got him picked so high out of Penn State. But after changes in the defensive scheme and a couple of injuries, and a bizarre contract dispute between his agent and Dan Snyder, Arrington went up the road to the Giants. It was always weird seeing him as number 55 in Giants blue, but at least he wasn’t very good for them.

The entire fucking Oilers team. I was CRUSHED when fucking Bud Adams ripped my team from my city and took them to Tennessee, of all places. Then that ass hat wouldn’t even let us have the team name that he wasn’t using anymore. I hope demons are jizzing fire ants all over his face every day in Hell.

I know the draft is for players but I would give almost anything to still have George Halas still alive running the bears. Bless Virginia’s heart, but her and her sons don’t know what the hell they’re doing.

John Tait for the bears. If he hadn’t walked we wouldn’t have started Jamarcus Webb for so long

2. Len Bias. I grew up in New England and while my other regional loyalties have faded some, I’ve always stayed true to the Celtics. It’s easy to insist that the Celtics would have been contenders for much longer into the Big Three’s twilight if he’d been on the team.

Definitely agreed on O’Hara and Seubert. I miss decent interior line play.

That said, “every Giants tight-end” also includes Travis Beckum. Not sure if he qualifies. I’d also add healthy Kenny Phillips to the list, and going much further back, Carl Banks and Pepper Johnson. I remember being stunned watching Sportscenter when they announced he went to play for Cleveland. I was 9 or 10 years old, but still.

Oh and as far as grades you all did fine and get B+’s except for PFT Commenter who also gets a B+ because he gets an A for the Limbaugh pick being funny but loses points because that fat blowhard never played anything other than a spirited game of hide the salami with an underage Haitian prostitute and RFD who gets an F for ditching his franchise to root for the fucking Lakers.

That seems like wistful thinking, made all the more rich because the melancholy is seasoned with a slam of Detroit. But it isn’t reality. It belies what Barry Sanders has said about his reasons for retiring.

The clip below shows Barry’s reaction to winning the Heisman trophy. His expression when his name is announced is no different than a person who decides which bunch of bananas to pick at a market. To say the man was stoic is an understatement. He probably had never even stepped foot in Detroit by this time in his life.

Perhaps he just didn’t like playing football that much. Geniuses sometimes lose all sense of joy from the skill they’ve mastered.

I’ll ditto that as a Pats fan. He still had something left when they shipped him off with Cassel (hahahahahaha) to the Chiefs for a 2nd rounder. God, what a dumb fucking move (not dumping Cassel; hahaha Cassel)

I’ll do another one and say Kurt Warner on the Cardinals because I don’t think I was more disappointed due to a football game than I was watching Santonio Holmes break his heart. I really wanted him to win one more ring granted he would have lasted like another year after 2009.

3. Roger “The Rocket” Clemens. Little RTD couldn’t believe the Red Sox let him go, and seeing him in a Yankees uniform basically generated the same feelings that I’d have had if I’d stopped by a tattoo parlor and seen George Patton getting a swastika inked onto his chest.

Owen Nolan leaving San Jose. Our teams weren’t nearly as good then as they are now, but I was #11 on every hockey team I played for. Watching your home-town hero call his shot against arguably the best goalie in the game and roof it on him has a way of elevating said player to God status in young impressionable minds.

As a very, very young kid, I got to see Nolan play for the Cornwall Royals and he was my favorite player. I remember watching that all-star game with some friends and they were teasing me about being a Nolan fan. After he called his shot, the teasing stopped. Sharks fan or not, that goal elevated him to demi-god status

Not a Houston fan, but I wouldn’t have lost sleep over losing a 39-year-old center with bad knees who in the few games he appeared in was averaging 11 points and 6 rebounds. I think this list is better reserved for players who are still really good when they leave town or this planet.

3rd round pick: Plaxico Burress (the first stint with the Steelers, not the cameo from 2012). A tall receiver is a rookie QB’s best friend because he can help turn overthrows into completions. Plus I doubt this asshole ever Cheddar Bob’s himself if in Pittsburgh. Also, Burress is a Patriot killer and chances are, Eli Manning never wins the first Super Bowl without Plex. P.S. I am also making this pick because I am tired of hearing assholes talking about “all the Steelers need is a tall receiver.” Like that would have solved all the problems on defense the last 3 years.

The man was a beast and ran like he was trying to hurt people on defense. Made all the worse because while Snyder was perfectly happy to sign re-animated corpses of players he’d heard of, he let Davis walk a couple of hundred miles south before the best year of his career. But, hey, Trung Canidate.

Drew Bledsoe because the guy was at the apex of his skills, the prime of his playing days…….BawwwHawwww hahaha Drew, we got something better. Have fun playing for the Bills, don’t let the door hit you on the way out hahahahaha!

As much sucess as Brady has brought the franchise, deep down I’m still a Bledsoe guy. If Robert Edwards doesn’t blow his knee out in the rookie flag football game I’m convinced the Pats win 4 Superbowls with #11.

Deion Branch – traded in 2006 leaving the Pats with an opening day receiver set that included Bam Childress and Doug Gabriel. If Branch is in the line-up in the AFC title game, instead of Rache Caldwell or Jabar Gaffney, I’m convinced the Patriots hold on the 18 point lead they blew and roll over the bears in the superbowl.

I know it’s baseball and we all hate baseball but when I was a little Fat Hump, Chicago Cubs baseball was one of the only entertaining things on any of our 5 TV channels. He was fucking lights out and they let him walk in free agency. And of course he went on to rip shit up for Atlanta for years and years. And won a World Series which the Cubs will never do because fuck them.

My last one is Robinson Cano. I have never seen a player field a ball as smoothly as he does and have such a nice swing except for maybe Griffey Jr.. In my mind he is by far the best second baseman in baseball. Sucks that he took the money, but I don’t blame him.

As a Yankees fan I’m just as happy he’s gone. Best 2B in the game right now but personally I’ve had enough of watching guys slog through the last 4 years of a $250 million ten year contract with about a 1/4 of the talent they had at the start.

Randall Cunningham leaving the eagles. It was the start of a long string of brutal years and seeing him light it up in a purple jersey was endlessly painful. I can’t imagine how much ass we would have kicked if we would have had him with a coach that didn’t think the offense was just for pussies.

Shawn Kemp. I always felt that if Kemp stayed in Seattle, it changes both the course of his career and of professional basketball in the city. If Kemp stays, Payton would have kept him honest and hungry (but not in the “I’m going to put on 30 pounds type of way”).

In the post-Jordan years, those Sonics would have been primed for a championship or two. If that happens, there’s no way they move to OKC. Kemp was also the most athletically freakish player that I’ve ever had the pleasure of viewing in person. (Even more than MJ.) Watch his highlight video and you’ll agree that Blake Griffin is essentially a homeless man’s Shawn Kemp.

TL;DR: If Shawn Kemp stays, the Sonics are probably still playing in Seattle.

The Pens front office, for whatever reason, didn’t think he would ever develop into the player they originally thought he’d be. They were right, and wrong. He did become a world-class player for Vancouver, serving as their captain from 2000-08. The Pens traded him for something called Alek Stojanov in one of the worst trades in North American sports history.
If they had kept him around, the Penguins would have won at least one more Stanley Cup during the 1990s (most likely in 1996). It still angries up my blood thinking about it.

You know what grinds my gear about Sports Channels when the NHL deadline approaches? They always bring up the Naslund/Stojanov trade as one of the worst trades ever. That’s not fair because Stojanov had his career essentially ended because he was in a really bad car accident.

Stojanov’s Wiki bio doesn’t say anything about a car accident. It did mention a major shoulder injury. Was that because of the accident? In any case, that was four years before his trade to the Pens. If he was damaged goods it was up to them to know about it.

It does say that he scored two goals for the Penguins totaling six points in 45 games and seven points in 107 games in the NHL.

Console yourself with this: We got Ron Francis, Ulf Samuelsson, and Grant Jennings for John Cullen, Zarley Zalapski, and a minor league scrub named Jeff Parker. That crippled the Hartford Whalers and led to 2 Stanley Cups and a President’s trophy for the Pens.

Listen King, you’ve already got Hart and Cohle on your ass; don’t add me to the list. I promise you I take my missing hockey team much more seriously than those take a a bunch of dead women and children.

@Horatio Cornblower
(we got Scott Young for Rob Brown too)
Scott Young may have been the better hockey player, but Rob Brown got to have sex with Alyssa Milano. Plus, Robbie also enraged Ron Hextall so much after a post-goal celebration that he left the net and chased him around the ice. So he had that going for him.

@Sill Bimmons: The car accident happened near the end or at the end of the season he was traded. It is true he had shoulder surgery before the accident.To this day, he has never fully recovered from his injuries (head/back problems). I hear he’s a fire fighter now.

Fun fact: Stojanov was drafted 7th overall and would have been 6th if PHI scout in Sweden didn’t convince them to take Forsberg. Canucka wanted Forsberg but ended up “having” to take Stojanov.

1) Patrick Roy staying with the Montreal Canadiens. My god what a shit show the Habs have more or less been since the mishandling of the greatest goalie of all time.

2) Eric Lindros and the Quebec Nordiques. Lindros refusing to play for Quebec was the last nail in the coffin for Quebec having a hockey team. What’s worse is that ever since Quebec no longer has a team, all the fucking separatists who followed the Nords are now on the Canadiens bandwagon. So now the Habs alienate their much larger English speaking fan base because a bunch of swamp singing separatists who don’t give a shit about hockey scream the loudest in the media and the organization cowers to them, for some weird reason. As a result, the Montreal Canadiens are a lot like the Dallas Cowboys: Completely irrelevant.

So many Seattle players I’d be hard pressed to choose just one. Someone already said Shawn Kemp who would be my Sonics pick. My Seahawks pick would be Kenny Easley who would be in the Hall if the Seahawks hadn’t fucked up his career and almost killing him with massive doses of painkillers. Mariners would be Ken Griffey Jr. That one hurt badly too.

I can’t tell you how many Bucs fans want Doug Williams in the Ring of Honor. They hate the Glazers for not putting him up there. Williams’ stats as a Buc? 33-33-1 record, 73 TDs, 73 INTs, 47% completion percentage. [www.pro-football-reference.com]

My next pick is Randy Moss of the Florida State Seminoles. Booted from the team in 1996 for smokin’ dem blunts. I know I’m being greedy, but Moss on those late 90’s teams with Peter Warrick and Chris Weinke… good grief.

@Sarah Sprague
The Pittsburgh area was SO excited to have Jaromir Jagr, an up-and-coming star in both the Penguins organization and NHL, to be playing for their team. There is an extremely heavy population of Slovaks that extends from Pittsburgh, through northern West Virginia, and into eastern Ohio. These ethnic dynamism of these people was so strong that they were instrumental in the creation of Czechoslovakia as a country after World War I (see “The Pittsburgh Agreement” :[en.wikipedia.org] ). So Jagr was whole-heartedly welcomed as a native son. I still fondly remember my grandmother pronouncing his name “JaROWmir” and naively urging my younger sister to get hitched to him by writing him letters. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that he was either knee-deep in pussy or fucking Martin Straka (I never figured out which). So I completely understand the feeling of loss you felt when Jagr eventually left for a higher paycheck.

(Sorry, didn’t see this comment until I started rereading all the threads for KOTW. I’m just a few years younger than Jagr and I can confirm; knee-deep in the local ladies, sadly, not me though. He did go out with a girl from my HS for a bit — as did Rob Brown, as you already pointed out had Ms Milano above. You know she was banned from the locker room.)

I’m voting for the entire roster of the actual cleveland browns franchise in 1995. not this abortion that is the current shit team. how on earth modell got them out of cleveland still haunts me. 11 sub .500 seasons in 50 years.

Torrey Holt. Seeing him finish his career catching passes from silky Garrard in Jacksonville after being part of one of the best offences to grace the game still makes me want to punch Jay Zigmunt and John Shaw in the face

3rd and final pick: Drew Brees and the Miami Dolphins. Yes, I know he never signed with the Dolphins but he was going to. But then fuckface management decided to go with Daunte Culpepper. I blame Nick Saban.