Since Forbes hired me in 1995 to write a legal column, I’ve taken advantage of the great freedom the magazine grants its staff, to pursue stories about everything from books to billionaires. I’ve chased South Africa’s first black billionaire through a Cape Town shopping mall while admirers flocked around him, climbed inside the hidden chamber in the home of an antiquarian arms and armor dealer atop San Francisco’s Telegraph Hill, and sipped Chateau Latour with one of Picasso’s grandsons in the Venice art museum of French tycoon François Pinault. I’ve edited the magazine’s Lifestyle section and opinion pieces by the likes of John Bogle and Gordon Bethune. As deputy leadership editor, these days I mostly write about careers and corporate social responsibility. I got my job at Forbes through a brilliant libertarian economist, Susan Lee, whom I used to put on television at MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour. Before that I covered law and lawyers for journalistic stickler, harsh taskmaster and the best teacher a young reporter could have had, Steven Brill.

A Guide To Business Etiquette: What's New?

The last time the Emily Post Institute issued a guide to business etiquette was in 2005, nearly a decade ago. Since then much has changed, including shifting gender roles, an expanding generational divide as older workers remain in the workplace, and of course the explosion of social media and smartphone use. This week four descendants of etiquette doyenne Emily Post (1872-1960), released a 338-page update, The Etiquette Advantage in Business: Personal Skills for Professional Success (William Morrow, $30). What’s most surprising about the book is how few surprises it contains.

Maybe that’s to be expected. Etiquette, after all, is about staying out of trouble, rounding sharp corners and softening blows. Its rules tend to be anodyne, and the people who most need them, the bullying bosses and the slovenly, rude colleagues, are the least likely to consult a guide such as this. But the Post Institute in Burlington, VT, run by Emily’s great-grandson Peter, 63, exists to try to battle bad manners. The updated book is a sound guide to proper behavior in the business realm. Peter co-authored this volume with his daughters Anna, 34, and Lizzie, 31, and his nephew Daniel Post Senning, 37.

What’s new since the last edition? The 2005 book barely touched on smartphones. The new book devotes a chapter to four basic rules. Most of us already obey them. We silence our phones during meetings, refrain from blabbing about private matters where others can overhear us and try to keep our voices down to a reasonable level. But many of us violate one of the rules: don’t use your phone if there is the possibility someone around you will be bothered by it. That goes for cars, trains, elevators, check-out lines, waiting rooms, airport gates, restrooms, restaurants, cafes and theaters. I admit that I break this rule myself, especially when my teenager calls, and I’ve noticed that plenty of other people do too. We’d all do well to reform our behavior or at least to keep those waiting room calls as short as possible.

Another point the book makes: “it is incredibly disruptive and undermining when people are texting, emailing and instant-messaging while a meeting is going on.” I confess I’ve done this too, thinking no one would be disturbed by my reading or sending a silent email or text. One other rule that I’ve seen many people break: Don’t leave your phone out during a business meal. “A phone out on the table is like a ticking time bomb,” says the book, “you and your companions are just waiting for it to go off and it says to the people you are with that your phone is more important than they are.” The Posts are correct that in an ideal world, we would silence and stow our devices during meetings and meals.

There is also a new chapter on digital communications, which holds no surprises. Though I take issue with one directive: “Don’t use a signature line from a mobile device to excuse lazy misspellings.” As a stickler, I expend lots of time laboriously fixing my iPhone’s autocorrect misspellings, but I never mind if someone sends me a note with mistakes and a tag that says, “typos courtesy of my iPhone.” In fact, I predict that typos will become increasingly acceptable.

NextNext comes a chapter on social networking. In the age of Anthony Weiner and his career-killing TwitterTwitter fiasco, most of us know the perils of using sites like Facebook and Twitter for indiscreet personal communications. But the book does an efficient job of laying out business social networking etiquette. In sum, it recommends the “bulletin board rule:” don’t post anything on a social media site that you wouldn’t tack up to the office bulletin board for anyone to read. Know that even with privacy settings, your social media messages are never private and don’t ever use social media to gripe about bosses, colleagues or clients.

The authors devote a whole new chapter to what they call “Gender and Generations in the Workplace.” How should traditionalists used to opening women’s doors and pulling out chairs handle those customs in 2014? Ask before you act, say the Posts. Personally I think this is overkill. I’m proud to consider myself a feminist but I would be charmed rather than offended by a man who helped me on with my coat. He doesn’t need to ask my permission. I can always reciprocate by holding the door for him as we exit the building. More interesting is the authors’ advice about figuring out what pronoun to use with a transgendered colleague: use the pronoun that reflects what the person is wearing. Or just ask, what pronoun would you like me to use?

This chapter also covers the challenges that arise now that many people work well into their 70s. When you have a generation born before 1945 mixing with millennials born before 1995, the authors say it can be tough to know what rules to follow. Be cognizant of different communication habits, they advise. The oldest generation grew up with face-to-face meetings, Baby Boomers are used to land-line phone calls, Generation X likes email and millennials prefer texting. It helps to keep all this in mind and when necessary, step outside your comfort zone and try using the communication mode that the other person expects. This is sound advice but I know plenty of Boomers who work smoothly with millennials and millennials who communicate easily with older workers. Perhaps too much is made of the generation gap.

The meat of the book comes in a section called “Rising to the Occasion,” which covers business gift-giving (a potted plant or homemade brownies are always safe), table manners and all manner of business meals, including business entertaining at home. Why do we need an etiquette guide to tell us how to behave at a meal? Emily Post put it succinctly in her first edition of Etiquette, published in 1922: “All the rules of table manners are made to avoid ugliness. To let anyone see what you have in your mouth is repulsive, to make a noise is to suggest an animal, to make a mess is disgusting.” Though in retrospect, that statement seems a tad prudish, Post had a point.

These chapters cover all kinds of situations and the authors don’t assume readers know the basics, which can make for some entertaining reading amidst lots of useful tips. For instance, I confess I have never thought about loosely folding my napkin at the end of the meal so that no soiled area shows. But I know that a man should not flip his tie over his shoulder while eating. On the other hand, the chapter on business meals offers some advice I would like to think I knew, but admit I didn’t: At a breakfast or lunch meeting, the business part starts after orders have been taken, and let the host or organizer initiate it. I like having this bit of etiquette under my belt though I’d argue that it’s a rule that could politely be broken if the parties are pressed for time and have a lot of ground to cover.

One piece of advice I appreciate: “Whenever you aren’t sure what to do, simply sit back, wait, and watch. Notice how other people are handling the situation. . . and then follow their lead.” That may be common sense but it’s advice worth taking.

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