I go visit my mother most Hollidays all the way in Colorado. Considering my birthday is also Christmas, it’s rare for me to have any affection on these occasions. During my last visit, I met a very very attractive guy. Fit and manly and he spoke Russian. I was head over heals for my temporary significant other. Especially when I found out that he was (not entirely openly) bi!
As a preference, I like my women small and feminine, and my men big and manly. Although I’ve appreciated the friendship of the few bisexual men I’ve met, they have been well decorated so far, filled with emotion, and kept their hair not so well tapered. This isn’t a stereotype I’ve developed. I’ve only met maybe 3 bisexual men and was fully aware there would be some who expressed themselves in a more masculine way somewhere. I was just impressed to find someone, so big and strong, someone so cool, who openly admitted he took it up the ass when in the correct situation. He didn’t see it as something to be ashamed of. How confident and brave. And I was so comfortable knowing that he agrees using me for threesomes (or him) isn’t the main goal or use of a bisexual.

Today is the university club fair. I decided to sign up for a LGBT rights and support clubs. The lady then told me to choose a button. There were two types: Ally and Out. I kind of debated for a brief moment before taking the Out button and burying it in my bag. I don't know. I tell people who ask, usually people I'm close to, but I don't know if I want to tell strangers. Can I really help other LGBT people if I'm hiding myself? Am I really in the closet? Am I overthinking it?

I came to relationships and stuff like that towards the middle or university when I was about 19/20 ish, and (via a drunken Facebook post) came out to everyone I knew at the time. I’ve lived openly as a bisexual since then, and not really had much negative attention for it.

However, I’ve never actually had straight sex, or been in a real straight relationship, barring a couple of girlfriends in high school. I fell into a brilliant relationship with a guy not long after I came out that lasted about a year, and since then I’ve had a few other partners and dates, but all male.

I just never seem to get anywhere with women. I’m fairly shy as it is, but I’m proud enough that I refuse to hide that I’m bi, and so I almost never get matches from girls on dating apps or anything like that.

I thought it was a neat contrast to all the coming out and first experiences stories here focusing on those who were excited to have their first same sex experience, while I’m here hoping one day to have my first straight one! Though I guess I’d probably have a panic attack if the opportunity ever presented itself, I’ve built it up in my head so much 😅

So I’m a bartender in a very backpacker heavy town. This means my patrons are about 40% locals, 30% expats and 30% backpackers.

As a bartender, you have to be friendly and approachable, even when getting hit on. You’ve all heard the story. It’s bad enough when it’s one person - usually travelling dudes who come into the bar alone and won’t leave you alone and try to slide you their number on the receipt.

It gets TEN TIMES WORSE when there’s a couple who’s doing it. I swear to god, they get so aggressive.

A few days ago I was working the day shift (1pm-7pm) meaning it was only me in the bar, music is on low, people come in just to hang out. Like most day shifts, it was pretty calm. I had a straight backpacker couple come in around 4pm whom I was chatting to, asking all the standard questions like ”where are you from” etc. Another girl came in alone and was chatting with me and the couple. They were all pleasant and lots of laughs were had.

Couple hours go by and we get in on the subject of fuckboys and my failed dating adventures in this town. Me and the girl are laughing about failed dating stories, and I mention that ”god, I’m so happy I date women too, I’d go crazy having to deal with only men”.

The second I’m finished with that statement the couple turn to me and say ”you know, we’ve been looking for a girl like you this entire trip...” and I laugh uncomfortably, thinking it’s a joke, but they keep staring at me for a reply.

The girl leaves soon after that, and the couple keep asking questions about my biness. There are now two people in my bar who are suddenly eyeing me like I’m a piece of meat. I tell them, in a jokey fashion, that I’d generally prefer not to be a sex toy, and it STILL takes them more than an hour to stop.

Straight couples, jesus christ, I don’t hate y’all but for the love of all that’s holy, just because I’m queer it doesn’t mean I want to fuck you. And people in general, please don’t hit on bartenders. It’s literally my job to sling drinks and be nice to you. Don’t abuse my niceness by making me uncomfortable.

I was at a bar on Saturday watching some dancers with my wife and her brother and a cute guy started talking to me, he said fairly soon into the conversation - "Don't worry, I'm not hitting on you or anything, I'm straight." - I replied "I'm not worried. I'm not straight, and nor is my wife". For some reason he took this as a joke :)

Been with my hubby for 8 yrs, married 1yr. Total monogamy. He will not share me, which is fair enough. He knows I'm bi, he's not a fan but accepts it. I've never gone "all the way" with a girl. Now I most likely never will. How do I reconcile myself with that?

Why is it a (mostly) well known and accepted thing for basically every sexually not being your choice but that you were born that way, but when it comes to bisexuals it always seems to boil down to: “at least I picked a side” and more commonly: “just pick a side”? I can’t be the only one that sees how incredibly hypocritical that is.

I’ve been out as a lesbian for quite some time now, however over the years I’ve realized I am physically attracted to men, I just never thought I could be romantically so I continued to identify this way.

Flash forward to now, I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months and things are getting relatively serious. I like him a lot and he makes me really happy. However, I haven’t told many people about him and am hesitant about things getting more serious because I am worried about the reaction people will have at me for coming out as bi after being out as gay for so long. The people I have told so far have been incredibly supportive, but I’ve specifically have only told them because I knew they’d be supportive and I’m just very stressed.

Edit: Bi fellas, ladies, and everyone on and off the gender spectrum. ❤️

Hi, everyone! Hope you’re having a good one.

I love this subreddit and spend a lot of time browsing it. One thing I have noticed a pattern of is the fellas in this community having a really hard time with the stigma of “you’re just gay and in denial” and overall poor representation in the media (these are problems for everyone in the community, of course, but I’ve just been noticing a lot of it with the guys especially lately).

I’d like to start writing again, and one of my characters is a man who is bi.

Are there any tropes/clichés you’re sick of seeing? Any characters that exist now that serve as an example of poor writing? Or good writing? Is there anything you’d like to see more of?

I’d love to hear too from the ladies! Anything helps! I just really want to make some solid characters that improve representation of our community.

(I’m sorry if any of my wording is a little clunky. I tried to ask/word this question the best I could.)

Throughout high school, I pretty much had the same group of friends, and just added members as the years passed. In our junior and senior year, two thirds of my group of about 12 people came out as either gay, bi, or queer. We were all living around all the gayness and we didn’t even know it, yet something must’ve attracted us to each other. I don’t know if it was our sense of humour, the way we presented ourselves, or just the vibe that LGBT people have. The rest our year group is pretty straight (as far as we know). Did anyone else have this experience of being somehow drawn to other LGBT people around them at school, work, or other?

And I loved it. We've been having date nights every other night this week. He's wonderful. He doesn't realise it, but he's helped me finally crack my understanding of myself.
No more doubts about my sexuality, no more silly "maybe I wouldn't like it" thoughts.
I feel validated, and whole.
Thank you Keiran, you beautiful man you.

So it’s been a long time since I (28M) have actually done anything with another guy... it was only once and that was close to 5 years ago. Anyway, more recently I’ve been thinking about trying again as the first experience was a pretty bad one. I thought about maybe a FWB, but after some careful thought, I don’t think I want that. I don’t want a relationship with a man either, so that kinda just leaves the casual hook-up scenario. So recently I gave the doublelist thing a try and there’s a few guys near me, but every time I think to message one of them I talk myself out of it. I’m really just paranoid that they are going to want more than I’m willing/able to give (that’s why the first experience was so bad). I don’t want them to think this is anything more than a casual, one-time thing... but I feel like saying that makes me sound like a jerk. I guess I’m just asking what I should do... cause I keep going in circles myself

This group is for discussion and support for those who fall in between, for the "shades of gray" in what is often assumed to be one or the other:
* bisexuals
* pansexuals
* omnisexuals
* queers
* non-straight individuals
... or anyone who doesn't quite fit the otherwise binary "straight" and "gay" pattern. If you can't work out if you're straight, gay, or anywhere in between... you should probably visit us.