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> Pyrogenisis

I'm Definitely Not Dead. I woke up really early on Wednesday morning for no reason.

In retrospect, I can see it was probably my body's way of telling me that I might die later that day, so I better get the hell up and start enjoying the shit out of life. My life that morning was not particularly enjoyable. I felt like my internal organs had been punched by someone who is really enthusiastic about punching and therefore punches a lot.
The harsh realities of adulthood. IRL Pokemon: HM Cut Has Its Drawbacks. I Raff I Ruse. The OSTRICH Story. A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?
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Rusty Innards. No sir, Chrysocyon brachyurus, the Maned Wolf, isn’t any of those..It’s a creature unto itself, the only member of it’s Genus.

The maned wolf (pardon the confusing misnomer..as I said before, it’s technically not a wolf) is South America’s largest canid, and one of my favorite canids, due in part to it’s very un-canid-like behaviors. It’s a solitary hunter; it doesn’t form packs, and lives a loner lifestyle, wandering the savannas of South America on it’s stilt-like legs in search of food and, in the off chance it comes across another Maned Wolf, a mate.