Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

American Idol’s 14th season
premiered last week and if you think you shouldn’t care because Ryan Seacrest
makes you uncomfortable, you are wrong. Well, not about the Ryan Seacrest part — he is
very distracting. Like, why is he still around? How much does he get paid to be
a weirdo to young singers? Is he actually a robot? What really happened to Brian Dunkleman? But you should be excited because Cincinnati’s own Jess Lamb is on it, and
there’s a very good chance she’ll go far in the competition.
I typically don’t watch the
music competition shows like Idol and
The Voice, because witnessing genuine
humans be embarrassed on television really upsets me. But when I heard Jess
Lamb had auditioned and got the golden Hollywood ticket, I had to give the show a
shot. Jess is a great local artist and I camped next to her at Bonnaroo one year, so I'm pretty much famous by proxy.Anyway, at 28 years old, Jess is painted as the mature one of the auditioning bunch, which is
probably going to make you feel like a shriveled French fry at the bottom of a
car. But with her age (seriously, I can’t) comes a breadth of talent and
experience. She writes and performs her own songs but — judging by her
audition — has no trouble with the traditional covers Idol necessitates.
Jess auditioned in Kansas
City, Mo., and got a great reaction from the judges, particularly crooner Harry
Connick, Jr. Check it out:
Auditions will continue
every Wednesday and Thursday for the next couple weeks, so we won’t be seeing
much of Jess again until the final 48 contestants are narrowed down to 24 after
a performance in front of a live audience (this has already been filmed). So, will
Jess make the cut? Idol teased us
with a “look” — or rather, listen — at the top 24. You can hear them sing but
can’t really make out anyone’s face. Judge for yourself.
All I can make out is a Captain Hook-looking dude with dreads. GO JESS.
Remember the uber-sleazy
Gaston from Beauty and the Beast? You
know the song, “No one's slick as Gaston/No one's quick as Gaston/No one does push-ups in the middle of an
amusement park like Gaston…” What? Yes.
Sia’s “Chandelier” girl
is back, and she’s dance-battling in a dirty cage with Shia LaBeouf, which some
people are NOT OK with.
Also, why did I just learn
that the little girl, Maddie Ziegler, is from Lifetime gem Dance Moms?!
Speaking of times when we
all get sucked into Wikipedia holes… Rapper T.I. is basically a suicide prevention
specialist. This isn’t news, but it’s new to me (please don’t ask why I’m Internet-searching
random rappers at night). Seriously, “Rescue of suicidal men” is a sub-section
on his Wikipedia page. In 2010, he stopped a young man from taking his life by
convincing him to not jump off a 22-foot Atlanta building. T.I. heard about the
situation on the radio, drove to the scene and asked police if there was
anything he could do to help. Pretty incredible. But before that, in 2006, T.I. discovered a struggling Scott Stapp
after the Creed frontman had jumped over his hotel balcony (whether this was a suicide
attempt or the result of insomniac hallucinations varies in reports). Can
we have T.I. intervene on Scott Stapp again please? Side note: Awesome reality
show idea. For real, though, dude seems like he needs it.
On a lighter note, here’s a
Larry David Lynch blog!
Parks and Recreation’s final season premiered last night. Jurassic World will be unleashed into theaters this summer. Chris
Pratt stars in both. Relevant:
American Crime Story casting news! If you recall, Ryan Murphy is spinning off on his American Horror Story miniseries
franchise with a true crime series. The idea is to explore a different criminal
case in American history each season, like how each AHS season explores fear and freaky folklore in a different arena.
The series’ debut will focus on the O.J. Simpson trial. Cuba Gooding, Jr.will play O.J., David "Forever Ross" Schwimmer will play Robert Kardashian and John Travolta will play Robert Shapiro. So much wut.This dog takes a bus to the
dog park and knows to get off at the appropriate stop — alone — which is more than I can
say about myself.
The Golden Globes, a.k.a Amy
‘n’ Tina’s Sleepover Party, were Sunday. The duo kicked ass in their final
hosting gig, don’t get me wrong, but overall the show left me wanting something
more exciting. Maybe it was the fact that the awards were so spread out. There
were big winners, for sure (Transparent,
Boyhood), but there were a lot of new
winners (which yields heartfelt but otherwise boring speeches) and no one show
or film truly swept.
If anything, it gave me a
bunch of new movies and shows to add to my watch-list. Peep the nominees and
winners here, if
you care, but the best part of the production was the monologue.
TinAmy were perfection. They
even killed it with a Cosby rape joke that certainly shook up the audience. Nothing
like seeing rich, famous celebrities panic over whether it’s OK to laugh.Other notes:
Leelah Alcorn — the local
transgender teen who took her own life earlier this month — got a shout out
from Transparent creator Jill Soloway.
The stars of Fifty Shades of Grey couldn’t muster enough chemistry to present an award, so that’s probably not a good sign…
George Clooney got a
lifetime achievement award and said nice things about his new wife.
Chrissy Teigen ugly-cried
when husband John Legend accepted an award with Common.
And that’s about it! Of
course, the Oscars are the pinnacle of awards season, and those nominees will
be announced Thursday.

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

The fellas of Mad Men showed off their mad manes (sorry)
when Jon Hamm and Pete Campbell revealed some pretty epic ‘dos to the public
this week.Let’s start with
Mr. Draper. Apparently in all my research of Jon Hamm (Read: browsing his
free-ballin’ pics), neither I — nor the rest of the
Internet — realized the star had appeared on the short-lived dating show The Big Date in 1996. The USA Network game show was hosted by Mark Walberg (the Antiques Roadshow one, not the triple-nipple one). Then-25-year-old
Hamm, identified on the show as a waiter, rocked the classic ‘90s parted shaggy
‘do (which I like to call the Shawn Hunter).
And as if that wasn’t enough to confuse your boner (or ladyboner), just watch as he
describes his perfect first date: (Cut to the 2-minute mark for Hamm’s
introduction, but seriously just watch the whole thing).
TOTAL FABULOUSITY! For
some unknown reason that will go down as one of life’s biggest mysteries, Hamm
did not go on to win a date. FOR SHAME!
OK, fast forward
to modern times at the Mad Men premiere
party last week. Vincent Kartheiser aka
Pete Campbell showed up looking like he started to pull a Britney
before changing his mind and running to the red carpet.Apparently the actor shaves his bang area (why does that sound so dirty) so his character Pete
can have a receding hairline — because
obviously — but couldn’t he achieve that look with makeup and a bald cap? Or
why not just shave the whole thing? This is especially bothersome to me because, as a child, I was convinced you didn't need to "grow out" your bangs once you grew tired of them, you just had to cut them off. This could have been me: WHAT IS HAPPENING
Mad Men’s
final season premieres Sunday night at 10 p.m. on AMC. Like Breaking Bad, this final season will be split between this year and
next. Read more in this week’s TV column.
This week in movie
remake fuckery: The Goonies 2 is
coming atchu.
David Letterman
realized Leno wasn’t backing out of retirement this time, so he hopped on the
bandwagon and announced he’d be
leaving The Late Show in 2015. Chelsea
Handler also recently revealed she’ll be leaving E! when her contract is up in
a few months, and is one of many celebs rumored to be considered to take Dave’s
place. (Her first change: Swap out Stupid Pet Tricks for Stupid Vagina Tricks.
Or maybe just Stupid Tricks, a game show with hookers? Call me for more ideas,
Chels!) Stephen Colbert is at the center of these rumors as well,
as his Colbert Report contract also ends
at the end of this year. Meanwhile Late Late host and Letterman follow-up Craig
Ferguson
waits in the shadows as 75 percent of Americans still think Craig Ferguson is
"the black guy from The Office."
Wah waaahhh
Iconic album art
like The Beatle’s Abbey Road can transform
ordinary places into fan destinations. Check out these classic record
covers inserted into their respective Google street view locations.
Normally grown-ass
women with a hardcore love for Disney turn me off — everyone’s entitled to a
nostalgia fest every now and again, but you should not see Frozen three times in theaters if you do not have a child in your
life. And there’s a new announcement for you:
Anna Kendrick
hosted Saturday Night Live for the
first time this weekend and her debut featured not one but two nods to Disney
with her Beauty and the Beast-themed monologue and, later, a Little
Mermaid bit.
But — as you’ll see from the links — Kendrick’s stint was anything but basic.
Bravo, Anna! This will certainly be a highlight episode of the season.
Could you use
$500,000? Have you always wanted to be on TV? Are you either a soft-spoken
racial minority or a loud-mouthed racist?
Big Brother is casting its 16th
season and the crew will be in Cincinnati next month to scope prospects. According
to the online application, casting is curious about important personal
information like applicants' weight, hair color and a “self biography” of a
whopping 70 words. Those interested in being locked in a house, recorded 24/7
by 65 cameras and 98 microphones and pitted against some of the worst human
beings on the planet can apply in person at Mount Adams Pavilion between 11
a.m. and 5 p.m. Friday, May 2.

Hamilton's Holiday Auto Theatre is resuscitated with a modern makeover

The Disney touch is working its magic in
an unusual location far from the company’s California and Florida theme
parks. Two men with Walt Disney Co. training and a love of retro culture
are helping revive a 60-plus-year-old drive-in movie theater on the
fringes of the old industrial city of Hamilton, Ohio.

Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings

Some believe that thousands of years from now, when people examine the things we post and share
on the Internet (the horror!), our collective obsession with cat photos will
mimic the Egyptians' feline-friendly hieroglyphics. While I’d hate to see this
century remembered for I Can Has Cheezburger, our cat fancy cannot be denied. Further
proof: Monopoly is replacing its iron piece (who knows what those are anymore,
anyway?!) with a cat.
Most Archer fans know the voices behind their
favorite ISIS staffers, but Vulture found the real-life inspiration for each animated character. How much tail do
you think Sterling doppelganger Jason Fitzgerald is getting?
Snowstorm Nemo
rocked the Northeast last week, and we all know what that means for grocery
stores:
Is eye-posuction a
thing? Lil’ Kim debuted her latest face recently, and homegirl doesn’t even
look like the same species (perhaps she’s just another feline worshipper?). I’m
sure I’d do a lot of fucked up stuff to myself if I was a badass millionaire
rapper, but go under the knife to this point?
I think not. What happened to our demure, pasty-sporting, natural beauty?
Another day,
another reinterpretation of Disney princesses.
People can’t get enough of that shit! Bust
recently featured artist Yudi Chen’s awesome male versions of classic princesses,
including “Cinderfella,” “The Little Merman” and
a bearded Rapunzel.
One of the most
annoying aspects of Facebook (and damn is
that saying something) is getting its own television incarnation — Farmville:
the TV show (via Videogum).
Who could forget
Sweet Brown, the 2012 Internet sensation from Oklahoma City, Okla. whose spirited news interview post-apartment
fire went viral? You may know her from the “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That”
meme. Few surpass meme status, but Sweet Brown booked herself a dentist
commercial! Via Dlisted:
If you’re an Always Sunny fan, you know all about the
D.E.N.N.I.S. System, Dennis Reynold’s method for luring and abandoning women,
aka “erotic conquests.” Find your own system for torturing romantic pursuits
here. This
is mine:
J - Justify
Approach
A - Accept Fault
C - Cry Together
Q - Quality Time
U - Unexpected
Action
E - Engage
Physically
L - Lend Money
I - Inspire Hope
N - Nurture
Dependence
E - End
Relationship
Just in time for
Valentine’s Day! (Thanks, Hannah!)
An Internet hacker
known as Guccifer recently published photos and “sensitive correspondence” from
the Bush family, including both former presidents. The most interesting find?
Evidence of Dubya’s interest in the arts. Via The Smoking Gun:
Yes, this appears
to be a self-portrait of GWB in the shower. All together now: Bush-hacked!
Now, look at all
this stuff fitting perfectly into unrelated stuff: http://thingsfittingperfectlyintothings.tumblr.com/

Computer-animated feature revisits a seemingly long-lost style

Plenty of contemporary animated features are trying so hard to be clever that they forget to be fundamentally enjoyable — and as for the emotional depth, we can appreciate Pixar's impressive track record without dismissing everything that doesn't live up to that standard. 'Rio' manages to be entertaining by working within an unlikely formula: making something that's fun for kids, in the style of movies that their parents would have watched when they were kids. Grade: B.

Without a clear identity, 'Earth' is often merely a reminder of things that IMAX documentaries have done better. It manages a few gripping moments, but it might actually be most fascinating watching the filmmakers at their risk-taking work during the closing credits. Grade C.

1959, Not Rated

A piece of legendary television history, long considered lost but discovered and restored by the Archive of American Television, makes its DVD debut with its crackling, electrifying energy intact. Budd Schulberg wrote What Makes Sammy Run?, a portrait of venal and ignorant but desperately striving, hustling Hollywood studio boss Sammy Glick, way back in 1941.

2008, Rated PG

Chances are the Walt Disney Company is counting their blessings that they didn't part ways with Pixar after making 'Cars.' The computer animation juggernaut — and arguably a Disney savior — has again proved who wears the pants in the relationship.