Skipping Childhood is a novel written by author Charm Baker and this blog is dedicated to "ramblings" about the book
and all related topics. The book is an adult novel not intended for minors (under 18), the same as this blog. Some content contained on this blog (and book) may contain profanity, but only in context with the material. This blog is a constant work in progress, but feel free to visit during construction.

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Thursday, December 1, 2016

How Do You Deal with Your Flaws? (ACCEPTANCE)

ACCEPTANCE

For the last few days since I started this blog, I wake up and think
about which words in my 2017 list of topics that I want to talk about.Sometimes I also end up adding a new word or
two (or three) to my growing list.Just
like today, I opted for the word ACCEPTANCE because I had a thought on one
aspect of the word, then I started thinking of ways that it pertains to “Skipping Childhood:A Novel.”After all, that’s the whole point of this blog anyway – to provide
discussions that center around this contemporary African American novel
that I’ve written.

Acceptance Can Be Good

The first thing I want to say on the subject is when I said I wake up and think about what topic I want
to discuss, that doesn’t mean that I believe this will be a daily blog.As far as acceptance goes, I’ve accepted the
fact that I’m not good sticking to the kind of commitment it takes to justify labeling
this as a “daily blog”.

WOW!I actually said that and it
felt good to admit!It’s hard to accept
that I don’t have the discipline or stick-to-it-ness, or whatever it takes to
commit to making even a brief post every day.That’s not to say that I haven’t tried
in the past, or even done pretty good for
a while, but ultimately that kind of pressure bums me out.After stressing and freaking out for failing
to meet too many daily deadlines, I usually just give up on trying to blog daily.

So I finally accepted the truth and admitted to myself
(out loud even) that I probably won’t post to this blog every day.The strange thing about that is, now that the
pressure is off, maybe I will post every day, who knows.I’m no longer under any obligation, not even
to myself, and for some reason that seems to be a motivator to write.Ain’t it funny how that works?

So this is just a quick example of how acceptingcertain truths
about your self can actually help you, even when it means acknowledging a
flaw.Sometimes, by acknowledging and
accepting that flaw (until you can possibly change it), it helps you to move
on.Once you’re unstuck, you’re in a better position to concentrate on your strengths,
instead of beating yourself up over your weaknesses.

Don’t Accept Everything!

While clearly, acceptance can be a good thing, we can’t allow ourselves
to fall into the trap of accepting everything.For one thing, notice something about my above
example.When I said that “I’m no longer under any obligation, not even
to myself”, I implied that besides myself, I’ve been worried about my
obligation to others.Being classified as a “daily” blog means that
visitors have certain expectations.My
eventual acceptance of myself required me to eliminate that particular factor
in the equation.So by removing or
changing other people’s expectations of me, I could honestly evaluate,
acknowledge and accept my shortcomings on this issue.

Although it’s good to figure out how to stop worrying about what others
expect from us; that still doesn’t let us off the hook about improving
ourselves.There are some very popular
words of wisdom known as the Serenity
Prayer.While those words ask for serenity
to accept the things we cannot
change, they also talk about having courage to change the things we can
change.So you can see right there, that
acceptance doesn’t mean accepting defeat and leaving it at that.Acceptance is needed to acknowledge what is
not in your power to do.But another all
important aspect of those famous words is the part that says:“…the wisdom to know the difference.”When you know what you truly can’t change,
you can focus on an alternative.

Character Analysis (Deandra Baxter)

Since it’s about that time to make a book reference to our discussion, I
think it’s interesting how even a young child like Deandra could grasp the
above concept about acceptance.This point
can be seen in one of my recent posts titled:The Little Girl Who Kills - Deandra
Baxter (Character Insight).Under the subheading:“How
Predators Prevail,” a quote is taken from the book.

The excerpt is a passage that helps us see how
Deandra is accepting the fact that she will probably not tell anyone about her
predator’s behavior.This is typical of
abuse victims.She realizes the expectations
that predators have of their selected victims; like how they fully expect victims
to stay silent.While Deandra accepted
and acknowledged her own weakness in this regard, it didn’t prevent her from
taking another course of action (even though it was rather extreme).Here’s how the book pointed this out:

“…she probably would never tell, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t make
him sorry for what he was trying to do.”