Gay Sex In The 21st Century

First, I want to thank Netflix for being kind enough to give me a free trial. Now I can waste time watching movies instead of just wasting time making them (see my video blog). Like yesterday, I was bored and decided to watch “Gay Sex in the 70s,” a documentary about what gay life was like in 1970s New York, from the dangerously sexy piers to coked out Studio 54 to the eventual AIDS epidemic.

The movie was composed of interviews with men who were there. The funny thing is, you don’t even need to watch the movie to know what they’re going to say. I can sum up the sentiments in a few paraphrases:

1. “We had sex everywhere.”

2. “Drug use was rampant.”

3. “Those sure were the days.”

I then began thinking about how gay sex has changed since then. What’s it like in the 21st century? Is it really all that different?

Honestly, no. True, us gays aren’t sequestered to seedy back alleys and truck stops. I mean, I go to a mostly gay gym, live in a gay neighborhood and frequent the gay bars (btw, lately I’ve been using the verb “haunt” to describe my gay bar outings, as in, “I’ve been haunting the Boystown bars.” It sounds melancholy, mysterious and classy). And we all use condoms now, right? You do use condoms don’t you? For shame, if you don’t.

But the general public would be surprised to find out that just how much the old cliche is true: You can give the gays recognition, but you can’t stop them from constantly fucking.

Hand gestures and trysts on the subway have been replaced by hook up sites. There’s a new language, but it’s all the same. Instead of rubbing your crotch at the guy on the corner on your way to work, you just send an instant message that says, “Looking?” Instead of getting busted by the cops, you get busted by your roommate. Instead of free love, you have to pay a $5 cover (or an even steeper fee for a locker and a private room). And of course in some bars, not all mind you, there are still the nostalgic backrooms of yesteryear (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, read Torch Song Trilogy and consider yourself cultured).

I guess it is pretty different. I mean, we can now hold professional positions and still be out. Hell, in some places I can hold hands with a guy and not be given a second look (unless it’s to check out our cute butts). But really, if you know the scene, if you’re in it, you know us gays launched one successful PR campaign. True, we take more caution, drug use isn’t as cool as it once was, and monogomy is more prevelant (slightly). But the glory days of glory holes are long from gone. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, I’ll leave to you to decide.

And although it sounds like it was a lot of fun, I just don’t dig mustaches. It never would have worked.

About me

Hi! I'm Keith Ecker. I'm the co-producer of Essay Fiesta, a popular reading reading series in Chicago. You can read more about me here. I also write marketing and editorial copy for a number of regional and national clients. If you are interested in using my services, shoot me an e-mail.