Couple, married 60 years, say putting spouse first is key to happy marriage

Sunday

Aug 31, 2014 at 12:01 AM

After 60 years of marriage, Samuel and Barbara Gordon still only have eyes for each other.

Rachel Huber - Rachel.Huber@JDNews.com

After 60 years of marriage, Samuel and Barbara Gordon still only have eyes for each other.

In the 1940s, young Samuel liked to chase little Barbara around the playground. Barbara said they were in puppy love, but things didn’t get serious until high school. At that time, the two were just good friends. Samuel called Barbara asking if she knew anyone he could date, and she recommended a friend of hers. Eventually, when Samuel and the friend didn’t work out, Barbara and Samuel rekindled their childhood romance.

Shortly after, at 17 years old, Samuel joined the Marines. He came back after six months and asked Barbara’s father for her hand in marriage. They wanted to get married before Samuel was deployed to Korea, so they decided to have a quick wedding at their church. The couple expected the wedding to be very small, since they didn’t have time to send invitations, but were surprised by the number of people who showed up.

“We got married on a Wednesday night, and the people who showed up for Bible study stuck around for the wedding,” said Barbara.

Earlier in the week, when the two went with their parents to get the marriage license, they were told that 17-year-old Barbara was old enough to be married with parental consent, but Samuel would have to come back in three days when he turned 18. Even for the time they lived in, Barbara said they were considered pretty young for a married couple.

“Many people said it would never last,” said Barbara. “And I wish they were all alive today so they could see it did!”

In 1960 they moved to Camp Lejeune for Samuel’s career. Jacksonville today is nothing like Jacksonville 50 years ago, said Barbara. Western Boulevard was still a forest, and many of the main roads that did exist were unpaved. Some aspects of being a military wife have changed since those days, but some have not. When her husband was deployed, Barbara said that her only method of communication with him was through letters. And even then, Samuel had a habit of leaving some things out.

One time, Barbara took her children to meet their dad as he was coming back from a deployment, and the kids thought they saw him. They told Barbara that a man in the distance looked like their dad, but that he had a broken leg.

“I said ‘No, that’s not your dad, he didn’t tell me about a broken leg,’” said Barbara. “But sure enough, it was him.”

Samuel didn’t tell her about the leg or explain the scar he got in Vietnam because he didn’t want to worry his wife. His only reason for existence, he said, is to take care of Barbara. The way Samuel takes care of Barbara has changed as the two have gotten older. At one point, he was her provider, and worked to bring home money to pay for what she needed. Now, he’s become her caretaker in many ways, due to health complications Barbara has faced over the past few years. She has been diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, she’s overcome cancer, and she’s survived injuries she sustained after their RV was hit by an 18-wheeler. Throughout it all, Samuel was by her side.

Samuel said that many young people look at couples who have been together for decades and want to know the magic formula, but he said there is no easy answer. Young married couples might want to feel the same love for each other in 60 years as they do now, but that’s not going to happen.

“What’s going to happen is it’s going to get larger and more encompassing,” said Samuel. “Things are going to (happen) that you can’t imagine now... and as long as you two stick together, you can handle anything.”

The best thing you can do for you marriage, said Samuel, is to always hold your spouse above everything else.

“I have an old poem I used to say: ‘I love you more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow,’” said Samuel. “If your love doesn’t grow, then there’s something wrong.”

After years of ups and downs, after four children, 14 grandchildren, and 11 great-grandchildren and years spent apart, Samuel and Barbara still put each other first.

“She’s still the most important thing in my life,” said Samuel.

“And I know he doesn’t think he is, but’s he is the most important thing in my life too,” said Barbara.