The Fatman Says Hi

Greetings fellow Metroplexians. My name is Chris and I’m one of the new posters to Metroblogging Dallas.

I won’t make any broad claims about the quality of my posts, but I can say with certainty that there will be a lot of it. My plans are to be the Golden Corral of Metroblogging Dallas.

I’m not hip and I don’t do much outside of the house that doesn’t involve greasy food and giant talking rodents, so I think I can bring a slightly different perspective to the goings on in the DFW area.
Here’s a little bit about me (which I’ll steal from the bio I just wrote):

I’m 32, so I skew a little older than some of the other posters, but I seem to have the mentality of that seventeen year old punk that’s banging your little sister.

I have decidedly urban desires: the uptown loft; the $80,000 convertible; sushi and sake at Blue Fish; waking up at 2pm with a pounding headache, a rolled up fifty still stuck in my nose, and a twenty-year old lingerie model passed out on the bathroom counter.

What I have is this: a house in the suburbs that I share with my wife of ten years and our two kids; a 94 Plymouth Acclaim that I couldn’t even trade for a $20 rock; and last night’s dinner was 93% lean ground beef mixed with Kroger brand Beef-flavored rice.

Surprisingly, I think my life rocks…but I would love to do a few lines off a lingerie model before I die.