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There’s no timetable to say you’re going grieving over a loved one. And no one should feel an arbitrary amount of months or even years that it’s time to say you’re done. I don’t know what being done is. What I do know is…

Our parents don’t want us feeling sad all the time. They would want us to live the best life possible, while they’re here and when it’s their time for the afterlife.

It was my dad’s time.

As much as I don’t like admitting that, it’s the truth. My dad got sick over a year ago, and never could recover. For some of us, the pain doesn’t that last that long. It’s the pain of the children, the siblings, the aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews and everyone in between and on the peripheral to feel and to come to terms with.

I’m still not sure if I’ve come to terms. Not even five months later, it hurts but it’s a different kind of hurt. I haven’t looked back on the two previous times I specifically wrote about my father (here and then here) right about the time he passed. I’m not ready to look back and read them just yet. Maybe I will with a fresher set of eyes down the line. So in some ways have I really come to terms?

I can’t say for sure. But what I can say is it only felt right, on his birthday and the first birthday without him (the holidays could be tough this year), to go back to our place, more so his place, Spice Xing, for a meal to honor him, honor his memory, and maybe bring some more peace to me.

I don’t recall a time that we didn’t have lunch buffet here. Well things have changed, as that buffet is now only reserved for the weekends. Well no big deal there. The place was eerily quiet on this Monday afternoon, but I almost preferred it that way.

Of course on a day like this it’s grey, it’s rainy, and the sky is telling me something. What that is, and what it may tell you are completely different things. For many that might feel comforting. Ordinarily, I would say it wasn’t. But today it fit the mood. If it was sunny and 80 degrees, I would say that would fit the mood. But this was the mood and I’m grateful for that.

The last time I was actually here was the beginning of the healing process. I’ll leave that to your own interpretation and speculation, as some things are better left unsaid. But I’m forever grateful for the outpouring of love and support, that it will stay with me for the rest of my life. I mean that. It’s a once in a lifetime thing. Literally. It’ll never happen again.

But what can happen again is a lovely meal to honor a man who has helped shaped me and our family to be in the position to be where we are today. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know where I would be. He was the man. And he still is the man. Hi dad, I hope you see this sometime.. Love you…

What actually never crossed my mind until including these photos was, is he sitting across from me? That’s a cliche but well….

I did it different this time with the chicken reshmi kababs with a side of chana masala, salad, and naan bread. Why kababs in an Indian restaurant? Well why not. Our background is Iranian, and we’ve had our share of kababs at many fine establishments in the area, and at home. So I couldn’t think of a better meal to celebrate the best of all worlds.

My dad would just rather have the buffet. And some of that naan bread too. But I’ll get to that in a little bit.

The masala tea was a gem and reminds me of simple black tea that my dad and I would share on a regular basis. I could’ve ordered any beverage, but this seemed only right. So I’m grateful to honor him within honoring him. That makes me feel good.

I sat in a different spot, yet I had a view of where we used to sit. We’ve sat in a lot of places, but this spot felt comfortable. I had a view of where his photos and a candle were positioned several months back.

While I was in a familiar place, I still felt removed and detached from everything. There’s safety in that. Even by coming to a place we’ve been going to for years, I felt relieved being away from everything else. Maybe that’s another part of the healing and grieving process.

But today there really wasn’t much sadness. Just like the week and days leading up to Father’s Day, I got so much out of me to the point of being physically exhausted and drained. And now I know what it feels to have nothing left. I feel transparent as I write this. But more importantly I feel relieved.

I’m relieved that my dad is in a happier place. Where that place is I don’t know. But I believe he’s at peace and harmony with everything. It’s what we wish for our loved ones when it’s their time to go and when they’re gone. As heartbreaking as it sounds, it’s also so beautiful.

This is life. This is death. It’s good to cry, but it’s also good to be happy. Our true family, our dearest friends, and love ones want only want the best for us. They would sacrifice their own joy just so you can feel some. My dad did that for everyone while he was alive, and maybe he did it when he was saying goodbye. That’s the most beautiful and selfless act of all.

While I was sad on the days and eve of his birthday, that sense of sadness has turned into calm. Maybe it’s numbness or maybe it’s something else. Maybe I’m just tired. Yet maybe it’s just the universe telling me I’ve handled enough and now it’s time to take a break, until the next phase of grieving.

I don’t want to think that far ahead, because I don’t know what even tomorrow will bring.

What I do know is I’m proud of my dad, and I miss him. I love him. And while I know his spirit is with me, and will always be with me, I’m starting to see a light. I’m starting to see hope, and starting to see that the best life is still in front of me. My dad would want this for me. Our parents would want this for us.

So I raise my cup and say salud, I say cheers, and I say I love you dad.

And next time I’ll be sure to pocket all the leftover naan bread and sneak out like a little kid in your honor… Ha!

How did we get to the end of the year so fast? Well as of this post it’s a mere five days until Christmas. Now usually that would lead to feeling sad that the season is fleeting. And I would be lying if I would say otherwise. But this has also been a time where time has felt like it’s moving at a reasonable place, neither fast nor slow. It’s just been as is. And that lends itself to appreciating every moment I can, whenever possible. Now that may be easier said that one.

As we often do, we’re busier this time of year than any other And that is on top of our already busy lives. The things to do just pile up to the point where we’re on the verge of being no longer being able to handle it. But that’s the funny thing about life. It gives us just enough of what we can handle. We reach our threshold and then some. I also think that the hectic nature is just a part of Christmas. It’s inevitable. And either go big or go home, adapt or fall behind. And I just don’t mean all the shopping. There’s so much more to Christmas than shopping. But isn’t it fun to give to the people you love? I’m starting to ramble like I usually do. When it comes to the holidays I could ramble on forever. I’m a softy.

From talking to friends this year there seems to be this added pressure to get everything just right. Whether it’s meeting up with all the friends and family you see seldom, making your rounds at all the holiday parties, or just catching up on all the usual day-to-day aspects of everyday life, it can drive you bonkers. For me, at least this year, it’s been about balance. It’s about keeping it simple. And that means an added focus on spending the holidays with the people you care about the most and vice-versa. And to slow it down and make a few hours for those people at a time. That may be easier said than one but I adapted. And because of that, I’ve gotten so much more enjoyment out of the holidays.

And with that comes with one of my favorite traditions of the year. It’s a simple gift exchange with close friends that has been going on for quite a number of years now. The location has changed but the sentiment remains the same.

Gifts were handed out, snacked were nibbled on, and there were plenty of libations. But one of the most important aspects, and one of the highlights was the tea. And what tea did we have this year? This wonderful tea would be the one and only, Christmas In Paris from the underrated Stash Tea.

And the way that tea brewed was a sight for all eyes. It’s some of the most beautiful brewing I’ve seen in some time. That color is something else.

This all made even better by present company. I imagine I would enjoy this alone but a tea like this, with the Christmas connotation is meant to be enjoyed with the ones you love. This is one that can be enjoyed all winter for sure. The chocolate and peppermint vibes well with everything December.

There were plenty of treats that paired with this tea. And this can go with anything holiday. But just as important, this is an herbal tea, so the caffeine levels are low, even with the cocoa. So this is more for soothing, calming, and relaxation.

And this is what the spiritual and peaceful part of the holidays is truly meant to be. A quaint, cozy, and harmonious environment is what most of us want. It’s what we all seek. It’s not that hard too find and can be almost anywhere. We don’t even have to look that hard for it. That’s the other fun part of the holidays, and life in general. As hectic as things are, the simple things, like good friends, good eats, Christmas movies (good and bad), and that incredible cup of tea.

I don’t need to get into the specifics of the gifts or anything like that. What’s more important is that this season has an organic energy and vibe, that only comes this time each year. I’ll miss it. I’m getting nostalgic already. But hopefully many memories to come.

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That title sounded open-ended enough, that there will be more from just one of my favorite cities. So tis the season for fun, for friendship, friends (wait what), family, food, and frenzy!

And there’s always room for tea. Because tea encompasses everything I stated above, and so much more.

Several months back, I went on a tea shopping spree in Philadelphia (you can read about them here and here) and the experiences were awesome overall. And I saved a few gems for later. When I was going to get to them all depended on timing, whether the content was relevant, and how the holidays would influence my posts.

However, if I waited too long, my visit to Ray’s Cafe & Tea House in Chinatown may feel more like a footnote than a proper review of a charming experience.

There’s no thrills to this place. If you look on the outside, one might presume exactly that. And that’s a good thing. Many of the businesses in the neighborhood follow the same pattern on the outside and from within.

The interior had a standard counter for ordering, with all the teas on display in the back, and just a few tables for sitting. It felt cozy enough to feel like I was in a friends’ living room, without feeling too cramped. My initial thought was the tables were bunched up together. No, it was just right.

But I came for tea, not for critiquing the showroom.

I love my seasonal teas this time of year. Actually I love ’em any time of year. I equivocate that too the Soup of the Day or the daily special at my favorite restaurant. It can be an exciting surprise, and a change of pace versus ordering off the menu.

Much to my hilarious surprise the seasonal Green Tea I went with tasted a bit too familiar. Where have I tasted this before? Could it be that’s it actually the tea listed below, the Jasmine Green? I can trick my mind into otherwise, but the taste is too overpowering too ignore.

No I’m not complaining. The tea was wonderful. The pot and overall display was overall magnifique. And what is seasonal to you and me, might be seasonal to someone else. Maybe I ordered the Jasmine and not realized. Maybe their seasonal tea is a play on that too. Maybe they were making fun of me. I would be too. The manager saw me taking photos. I was in awe of this set-up. Many have been posted for your viewing pleasure

And how can anyone complain about getting a free cookie? That’s a holiday special in and of itself

The tea was divine. The energy inside was divine. The tea never stood a chance. I sipped it in proper time. After I did my photos, I enjoyed myself for a long while. I was in my zen pose. No, I actually wan’t posing. I was just at peace.

I did this place. I will be back and maybe order something off of their extensive menu. But for now, I’ll savor this experience.

If you’re in the Chinatown neighborhood of Philadelphia, give them a visit. It’s a tranquil experience in a city that doesn’t always attract that kind of calming.

This was the perfect segue into the holidays. I look forward to what December will bring. But I truly appreciate Ray’s for what it was. It’s simple, soothing, and the tea was sensational. If you find a better synonym (oops) that starts with ‘s”, I’ll change it.

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What better way to celebrate two of my favorite things, Summer and Christmas, by incorporating a tea that represents the positive attributes of two wonderful times of the year, and so much more.

The Peppermint Tea from Wegmans was a joy to sip. And speaking of feeling like Christmas, Wegmans is just that. I always feel like a kid in a candy shoppe when visiting any one of their stores near me or in my travels. But it’s more than just that. It’s a place of wonders, imagination, and happiness.

With just one ingredient, they stand by their motto, Just Tea. I like it. It pulls no punches and doesn’t pretend to be something it’s not. It’s by no means the best tea I’ve ever had. But it doesn’t need to be. It’s a comforting drink to be enjoyed heated or chilled.

In the spirit of the holidays, I chose to have it boiled. And even on a warm Summer’s night, it was a pleasure to have. It was so palatable, I served myself a second cup.

Throughout this process, the color of the tea changed rapidly and looked gorgeous. You know you’re getting something good. And I had to take a photo a few minutes after, because the tint just kept getting stronger. I’m loving this.

Tis the season to be happy! And hopefully that means all year round. The holiday cup has made its triumphant return! It’s a nice reminder of feeling good and what’s important in life. It’s on what the inside that counts but positive images such as these only heighten the experience.

If I only had some holiday treats to go with it. Well not to look too far ahead, but those times will be here before we know it. And all the goodies have since been long gone or way past their expiration date. The latter would not be a good idea!

In the true spirit of the season, it’s all about indulgence and abundance, so enjoy all the photos I have provided!