Keeping busy is good, especially when you are being productive arranging meetings and driving lessons, but don't forget to have a sit down and rest too tunnocks even if its only having a cuddle with your DC as they watch a bit of CBeebies or a DVD. Shaun the Sheep is very popular with my 3 and 6 yo.

Don't forget to look after yourself too. Did you eat when they had lunch?

Your husband sounds like a wonderful man and you sound like a lovely woman. Your love for your husband and children shine through your posts.

You do have the strength to get through whatever life throws at you, I'm sure of it and if you can't scream and cry and shout in public, you can do it here where we will hold your hand and help to find the hope.

I did refresher lessons too Tunnocks and they were brill. For my confidence quite quickly. Once you have has a few you can attempt journeys in your own car. I remember the triumph I felt in getting yo the shops with no one tooting me!

Crap, tunnocks, I just caught up with the end of your other thread and you sounded really sad ; who could blame you, really, but I prefer the 'tone' of this thread so far!

Why is this happening to you and yours? Totally because sometimes utter, uttershit happens to nice people (and total gobshites win the lottery) - sorry, being cross with Life always gives me potty-mouth.

'Tis not fair and it's certainly not Right in any shape or form that your family is having to deal with your DH's illness and all the fear, uncertainty and grieving for the future you thought you had. Thank goodness though for the love you have for each other and the supportive family you have - on both sides.

I've been away for a few days but was thinking of you frequently. Please continue to look after yourself - this is a marathon and not a sprint. I know the date of the surgery will be writ large on everybody's mind, but that is just the beginning. Keep breathing, eat and rest when you can. A wise person on a thread with a critically ill child said "Don't borrow problems from tomorrow" and I wish this was easy advice to follow: try your hardest to live in the moment, deal with today's problems today and tomorrow's problems tomorrow rather than getting worn out by anticipated disaster.

And yes, lives are saved in hospital every day (contrary to the popular press sometimes), you just keep reminding your of that.

You know, I often have people say to me "I suppose there is people worse off than me" almost as if to dismiss their own struggles as insignificant compared to others. My response to that tends to be "yes, maybe there are people worse off than you, but there are also people better off than you and both of those groups of people are irrelevant to what you are going through".

Much as one could argue that it is kinda hard to think of 'worse' than your situation, it is your burden to bear just now and in my eyes the worst of it, is the uncertainty. Nobody can predict an outcome for you, your DH and your whole family.Once you out of this terrible time you might be able to look back and say 'This was the worst' - or it will be lost in a fog of exhaustion and being terrified and you are just glad your have all come out the other side.

I think your smoke alarm is asking to have hammer taken to it tbh - v therapeutic

I like Weston, very fond memories of childhood holidays and 'helping out' on the donkey rides! Sad the pier burnt down, but great they rebuilt it. I always imagine all the coins now buried under the sand beneath the new pier.

Tomorrow will be routine, weight and stuff. I had my pre op. two weeks before my op, and then went on holiday and probably put on half a stone, apparently unlike animals, they don't do anaesthetics by weight, which is just as well!

I go to hospital tomorrow too, to find out the results of my breast lumpectomy, the surgeon said it didn't look a 'nasty' one, so holding onto that thought. Got to try and think positive.

Cuddle your little ones while you can. DD is nearly 9 and she still sometimes asks me to lie beside her as she goes to sleep. I have to admit to recently going in and lying beside her during the night too - just in case.