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Sunday, 9 March 2008

The Price of Saying the Truth

The people have decided. The people have voted. The ballot boxes will be opened later on today.

I have received quite a lot of emails about my articles, but when I read this one, on reflection day, in reaction to my article Why Gay Voters cannot vote for GonziPN, I almost burst in tears. First of all, there are no inaccuracies or untruths in my article. How could I use something as delicate as this as propaganda to elect AD in parliament?

There is so much hatred in this Catholic Country. Gay people are up to 50 times more likely to attempt suicide in Christian communities. Unfortunately, during the electoral campaign another young gay guy committed suicide. It hurts me more that I missed the opportunity to deliver an encouraging speech at the same gay bar we both were the weekend before, because I was shy.

Why don't you fuck off and stop this stupidity, I have always sympathized with your dilemma however I am not going to jeopardize my future and my children's future and vote other than PN, A VOTE FOR AD MEANS A VOTE FOR MLP AND I DON'T TRUST NEITHER SANT OR HIS VAGABOND LOT. I happen to have a gay son and I am very proud of him and I will always be and I support him and his partner totally, if other parents can't do the same as I do it's their loss. What you are saying is all bullshit and all a propaganda against PN. SO STOP THIS OTHERWISE YOU WILL LOOSE ALL OUR SUPPORT. By the way the reason gays are committing suicide is because most of you are totally unfaithful to each other, you can't see a new ass because you go running after it.

9 comments:

I for one am absolutely discusted by such comments and it goes to show how much INTOLERANCE and HATRED there exists in our so called "christian" country. I totally do not agree with this person, I believe that fighting for gay rights is not a "dilemma" for it defintely has a much more significant meaning.

On another note, however, I am of the opinion that personal issues such as suicide should not be used in order to create any political sensation. We should rather emphasise tolerance, unity and understanding.

If I were your son I would be appalled by your comments and be embarrassed to be seen in public with you. I am sure you back your comments with your hate mongering Catholic beliefs and people like you will keep Malta in the dark ages.

I am shocked to see how people can be so vulgar, arrogant and stupid as this individual!!! She threatens to stop her support if you don't stop. Stop what? Saying the truth which hurts? I don't need to tell her where she can put her support. I find it very hard to believe that she has a gay son. She is a shame to any gay person, and to all humanity.

Judging by the emotion and anger in their writing I can see that this individual is in fact homophobic, despite their claim of support towards their homosexual son. People who support their gay children should educate themselves so they do not in turn hurt their children by expressing repressed anger towards the very thing their son is. Let me try to help by informing this person about some basic knowledge that they should already know in order for them to learn to respect their gay son.

Same-sex couples are just as committed in their romantic relationships as heterosexual couples, say researchers who have studied the quality of adult relationships and healthy development. Scientific findings disputes the stereotype that couples in same-sex relationships are not as committed as their heterosexual counterparts and are therefore not as psychologically healthy.

Results from two studies featured in the January issue of Developmental Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association, compared same-sex couples with opposite-sex couples on a number of developmental and relationship factors. The first study examined whether committed same-sex couples differ from engaged and married opposite-sex couples in how well they interacted and how satisfied they were with their partners. Evidence has shown that positive interactions improve the quality of relationships in ways that foster healthy adult development.

Researchers from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign compared 30 committed gay male and 30 committed lesbian couples with 50 engaged heterosexual couples and 40 older married heterosexual couples, as well as with dating heterosexual couples. All the partners responded to a questionnaire that documented how positively they interacted with one another on a day to day basis. The couples were also observed during a laboratory task and were monitored for distress by skin conductance and heart rate.

Results showed that same-sex relationships were similar to those of opposite-sex couples in many ways. All had positive views of their relationships but those in the more committed relationships (gay and straight) resolved conflict better than the heterosexual dating couples. And lesbian couples worked together especially harmoniously during the laboratory tasks.

The notion that committed same-sex relationships are “atypical, psychologically immature, or malevolent contexts of development was not supported by our findings,” said lead author Glenn I. Roisman, PhD. “Compared with married individuals, committed gay males and lesbians were not less satisfied with their relationships.”

Furthermore, said Roisman, “Gay males and lesbians in this study were generally not different from their committed heterosexual counterparts on how well they interacted with one another, although some evidence emerged the lesbian couples were especially effective at resolving conflict.”

In the second study, researchers from the University of Washington, San Diego State University and the University of Vermont wanted to examine how sexual orientation and legal status affected relationship quality. To do so, they followed 65 male and 138 female same-sex couples with civil unions, 23 male and 61 female same-sex couples not in civil unions and 55 heterosexual married couples over a three-year period. One member of each heterosexual couple was a sibling to a member of a civil union couple.

Both partners in all of the couples answered questions regarding their demographics, status of their relationship, number of children, sexual behavior, frequency of contact with their parents with and without their partners and perceived social support. Partners in same-sex relationships also answered questions regarding disclosure of their sexual orientation to their family, peers and work associates.

The researchers found that same-sex couples were similar to heterosexual couples on most relationships variables, and that the legalized status of a relationship did not seem to be the overriding factor affecting same-sex relationships.

Despite the legal status of their relationships, the civil union couples showed no differences on any of the relationship measures from the same-sex couples who were in committed relationships but not in civil unions. “This may be because those couples in Vermont who sought out the legal protection of a civil union might have legalized their relationship more for symbolic value than for commitment reasons, which did not affect their day-to-day interactions,” said lead author Kimberly F. Balsam, PhD.

However, the same sex-couples who were not in civil unions were more likely to have ended their relationships compared to those couples in same-sex civil unions or heterosexual marriages. This suggests that the protections afforded by a legalized relationship may impact same-sex relationships, something the study’s authors plan to follow up on in future research, said Balsam.

The findings also showed that same-sex couples, regardless of civil union status, were more satisfied with their relationships compared to married heterosexual couples. Same-sex couples reported more positive feelings toward their partners and less conflict than heterosexual married couples, said the authors. They theorized that there may be societal pressures and norms, as well as the presence of legal status as a couple, which may contribute to heterosexual couples staying together even when they are not happy. Alternatively, most long-term same-sex couples have to stay together by their own will and hard work since they don’t have society’s forces on their side, Balsam added.

This was the first study to follow same-sex couples in legalized unions over a period of time. This type of design allows the researchers to monitor changes in the relationships and compare them with changes experienced by both same-sex couples not in civil unions and heterosexual couples. All the couples were comparable with respect to race/ethnicity and age at the time of the study.

Finally, I wonder if their statement “most of you are totally unfaithful to each other” reflects their own views on their son’s relationship?

This person’s statements about homosexuals who commit suicide are hurtful and deplorable, they are insensitive and rife with hate. The foul language is also uncalled for. How would this person feel if they received such a message a day after the funeral, in the event that their own son had committed suicide? I am eager to get a response.

As a homosexual I am appalled by the message, as a psychologist I am concerned about this person’s relationship with their son and how their perception of homosexuals may impact their relationship in the future. If I were this person’s son I would be hurt, embarrassed and ashamed.

I personally sympathise with the indulging pain you are going through yet i should put forward the fact that this is politics,and such mediocre and prejudical comments are to be expected. The will of a politician is to lead the way to these misleaded citizens and give them matters in their hand with facts and points regarding the sterotypes when it comes to homophobia and gay rights. My point is that it's useless crying over such ignorant comments, a politician would be ethical to ignore reviews of hatred yet improve the optimism within, and build on the ways and points so one can subdue people into the truth in a way that would give a broad picture of real life situations going on at the moment. I believe that more planning should have been done, and to conclude despite the facts as they are I congratulate you for achieving to win over 200 votes which to my opinion is a good start for a newly fresh politician like you.

I would like to add, that there is the need for change of the leader, since Harry Vassallo resigned, the obvious need for change in your party should be considered where leading is concerned, so i would recomment to promote and support a leader with different ethics and opinions.

Without further ado, keep it up. You are a courageous individual, do not let other people's opinions effect you. This will always happen, act and keep positive. Over two hundred people are behind you, not to denote that you were canditating for one district.

Wow. First she states she has a gay son and she loves and respects him and his choice, then she says that gay people are unfaithful and promiscuous and this leads to their misery.

Intelligent voter. Another one of those 1,500 more voters the PN got. WOW. So glad to be a minority in this country. better a minority than part of a political party which is useless and supid, arrogant and rude, homophobic and only puts forward equality at face value but does nothing to curb injustices against so many people who suffer.

Thankfully i will never form part of the clique. and i'm proud to be a green supporter!!!

This woman is so mature!!! lol. I keep coming back to read it because to me it is unbelievable that someone could speak this way. It's like someone saying, yes, women should go out to work, but it is their fault if families break down because they only go to work to have sex with married men!!! lol (And i've heard these things before lol)

I sympathise with you Patrick. I too had to receive text messages full of spite this weekend from my family members who cannot understand why I would vote for AD and "Jeopardise" the future of the country!!! hahaha. Ajma jahasra.

Maltese Gender Identity Law [Transgender / Intersex]

Civil Unions Parliamentary Debate and Vote

Note: The Civil Unions Bill [20/2014] has successfully passed through the Maltese Parliament with 37 votes in favour, 30 absentions and 0 votes against on the 14th April 2014. It gives the same rights and obbligations to same-sex couples as those who are registered in a civil marriage (mutatis mutandis).