I HAVE written ONE book this year. It’s the follow up to my Carina submission from last year’s CFS of theirs, asking for Para-Rom. Details to come shortly.

Lastly, we’re doing a giveaway! Handful of awesome talent involved, and we’re doing a giveaway! Click HERE for a chance to win a paperback copy of Sin and Chocolate by KF Breene, along with some surprise book swag!

Kinky Faeries with a Taste for B&D! Siddella, Thief of the Low Court of Faery, discovers she’s stolen something very valuable to the cybernetic ruling class. Crashing a party, she doesn’t realize that the Black Angus, Faery’s legendary guards are present. With voracious sexual appetites that make modern BDSM players cringe, she fears the Black Angus will find out her one most personal secret along with the data she stole. Lord Frika has organized the Black Angus in an assault on the cybernetic ruling class of the Unseelie Kingdom in an attempt to begin reversing the damage computers and technology have done to Faery. Seeing Siddella, he realizes that this little party crasher is more than just a thief and that she holds the key to not only restoring Faery but to his heart. Can an thief who values freedom fall in love with a fierce fighter with a taste for chaining his lovers and then degrading them in every way he can imagine? Can the two them work past personal issues to save Faery from a fate worse than death? Or will her forced surrender be too much for the Faery to handle? “A powerful look at domination!” -Sensual Romance Reviews

She screamed! Just the way her name rolled off his tongue dripped with sex and promise of things more wicked than the kiss they shared earlier.

His lips curled upwards in a slow smile. “You don’t realize you’re a little power source for me, do you?”

She put her hands up in protest, aware of the chain dangling between them. “What are you talking about?” She backed up; found her ass bumping against a wall.

Frika slid an arm around the back of her head and yanked her hair.

Gasping, her lips parted in response. Her pulse sped.

He drew her in for a kiss.

She tried to bite the tongue filling her mouth but found her knees growing weak while it seemed like trillions of butterflies danced in her stomach. Her heart shot into her throat.

He tasted her, flicking his tongue delicately along her lower lips before pressing his firm mouth against hers.

She let out a tiny mew and pressed her hands against the hardness of his chest. The scent of Earth and dirt filled her senses along with masculine aromas that threatened to intoxicate her.

She tried to shove him off but his body remained a stone castle against the growing surge of arousal in her belly.

His mouth moved over hers, sweeping over her lips and pulling her from all thoughts of resistance.

Power flooded her body at the same time, forcing her to respond to the pent up lust within her.

Dampness coated her lower lips. She tried to rub her thighs together and soothe the ache between her legs but he continued pressing his thigh into her, rubbing her clit.

She whined into his mouth.

Fingers threaded through her hair, tugging on her strands. Teeth nibbled over her jaw and down the line of her neck.

Siddella moaned.

In the distance, she swore she heard something click but her mind was too distracted with the pop of buttons off her shirt to notice anything but Frika’s hands.

“I knew you were beautiful when I saw you,” he murmured against her slick skin.

Heat flushed her pale cheeks into a shade of pink.

Frika moved the shirt aside, freeing her breasts and binding her arms at her sides. Taking a nipple into his mouth, he kissed and suckled the nub until she was the ache between her thighs grew painful.

Siddella struggled against him, unsure of what to do next. She couldn’t move much, didn’t want to move more than to shred her clothing and give into the nature of her kind.

But he would be her first.

She’d avoided direct sexual intimacy with others, in favor of teasing and maintaining control in all scenarios. The Unseelie version of sex usually ended up with one or both parties bleeding profusely. That looked too painful for her taste.

But Frika wasn’t giving her the option of avoidance.

His hard cock pressing against her thighs made her wet, brought out wanton desires she’d long ago buried. She literally wanted to beg him for release, but that would bring out all her fears once again.

Unseelie sex almost always involved inflicting damage for the thrill of the endorphin rush. The fae wanted to feel and needed the heat of hurt in order to counter the freezing temperatures and mechanized environment that was so far from their nature. It also involved blood. Lots of blood. Usually, if both parties weren’t drenched with blood, cut so badly that wounds would heal in days instead of hours due to typical magick, then there was no true satisfaction.

She’d seen her share of Unseelie sex. A mistake early in her career taught her the painful truth.

But Frika’s mouth continued nuzzling her full breasts, sucking her flesh and pulling strangled moans from her.

Unconsciously, Siddella wriggled her hips against his. The press of his hard erection against her made her squirm.

Popping more buttons from her top, Frika nuzzled her belly. His murmured whispers sent shivers racing through her. “I have an idea.”

Heat rose in her cheeks. Her mouth parted, hands clutched chains. Her eyes widened. She looked up and saw her hands bound to the wooden frame she’d been backed against. “What the hell? Let me—oh Lord and Lady!”

The snap on her pants popped off. The zipper slid down and strong hands held her hips in place while sliding the fabric down her thighs so slowly.

Siddella looked down to see Frika’s huge body kneel before her. “What are you doing?” She shook, rattling the chains above her head. “How did you get me like this?” Panic set in. Her nerves went on alert. She began sweating with the pace of her heart beating loudly in her chest. He was going to—

His tongue dipped between her folds.

Hands on both legs held her in place while he flicked the tip of her pussy lips with his thick, wet tongue.

He pulled another moan from her.

She clenched her fists tighter around the chains holding her. A hand pressed against her pussy, two fingers sliding in knuckle deep.

“You’re so wet and tasty,” he muttered and dove in with his entire mouth, catching the tiny nub of her clit between his teeth. He sucked.

She bucked against his face but his fingers dug in and held her against the wall.

She whimpered at the exotic feel of his tongue pressing against her clit. Fingers pumped her pussy, ramping up her breathing into a frenzied pant.

The play of his tongue swirling over her, inside her, around one lip, inside and to the other built sensation inside her so tight she felt a spring tighten around her clit.

A sharp stab of pain shot through her.

Groaning, she almost didn’t care about being cut open. Still, she opened her eyes and looked down to see the thick blonde mane of Frika’s hiding his face.

He sucked and licked, fucked with his fingers, pumping two thick digits into her.

Her hips undulated against him, the sweet sensation of pain and pleasure blending into bliss that had her heart rate up. Siddella slammed her head against the wall, oblivious to the pain that would have normally hurt had it occurred in a fight.

“Please, no!” she whimpered again. Louder, her words came in stuttered bursts from the sensations swelling within her. He’d bite her soon and cause her pain!

She fought against the tide inside her but Frika wouldn’t let up.

Frika’s lips nuzzled her lips. “You taste so good but we’re going to make you remember this!”

She screamed, “NO!” Shaking her head back and forth, she begged, her outcries being ignored while Frika’s tongue worked her into an even higher frenzied state.

The springs around her clit multiplied and tightened until something inside her broke. Suddenly she was awash in a glow of feelings so warm and inviting, her body felt lighter than air and her head spun.

She heard screaming.

Frika knelt beneath her and lapped up what looked like colorful juice, liquid from her core, sucking harder.

Her head swam in a sea so deep, so pure and beautiful like the land she heard stories about when Unseelie was pure magick. Colors held a sensual aura to them, even Frika’s blonde hair appeared lighter despite his being a faery dog.

The darkness enveloping her body fed into her heart, her pussy, her body and filled her needs even as she struggled against her bonds.

After what seemed like an eternity, she opened her eyes and saw Frika standing just before her with flames of passion dancing in his eyes. She needed to refuse the next step in this game but couldn’t quite make herself say the words.

She opened her mouth and started to speak, her lower lip trembling when she saw him reach for his zipper.

He cocked an eyebrow. “You’re a virgin?”

Her cheeks turned a deep shade of red. She couldn’t respond.

Turning her head away from him, she closed her eyes in shame even as the feel of post orgasmic glow held her.

“Looks like we need to play more before you take me inside you.”

Looking at the sizable bulge in his pants, she swallowed the lump in her throat. No way could she take his massive cock inside her. The Black Angus were known in Unseelie for having demanding sex drives but that usually implied willing and experienced partners.

Weakly, she found her voice. “How can you want a virgin? And how would you expect to slide that in me?

A wicked grin crossed those perfect lips. His eyes darted across the room until they fell on an object.

Her eyes followed the line of his gaze. “The wine bottle? I don’t think so! No!” She shook against her bonds and screamed, “Let me go! Let me down!”

She didn’t care if the Menace or Cyber-Fae caught her at this point. He intended to fuck her with a huge wine bottle that had been sitting here for goddess knows how long!

He offered a sheepish grin. “You need restraint and to be eased into taking things like me inside you. And since I think we’re here for a while, why not have lots of sex? Besides, it’ll keep both of us powered for when the grid drains you.”

He had a point. The grid would drain her. She wondered why he wasn’t affected but wasn’t going to ask yet. She had to play her cards right and get free so she could meet her contact, trade this information and get the fuck out of here. “Ugh!”

He licked his lips.

She couldn’t tear her focus from the pink tongue that tasted her, deflowered her.

And now it made her blush.

With leather cuffs in hand, Frika clamped one around Siddella’s hand before freeing it.

She struggled against his grip but was no match for his strength. “Ugh, let me go! I don’t want this!”

Photo copyright belongs to the original owner.

He chuckled low, “sure you do. You’re a faery. You’re an odd one, but we all must give into our nature.”

Before she knew it, she stood on the cold concrete floor with her pants around her ankles and her hands bound again.

Frika lifted her up carefully and kicked off her pants, leaving her in boots and her torn shirt.

She writhed against him and tried to kick out.

He caught her foot and yanked her against him.

She slammed into his hips and pressure on her pussy caused another wave of tightening sensation to build inside her.

She screamed again!

Frika laughed, a low dangerous sound. Carrying her with one hand under her bare ass and the other around her upper body, she leaned against him.

Hating the feel of his large palms caressing her ass, she squirmed but was quickly set down on a padded bench.

Before she could react, Frika bound her arms above her head, exposing her breasts even more.

A shiver ran through her.

She lifted her hips up to kick out at him but his other hand slammed both her legs back down against the padded table.

In a matter of seconds, he had her spread open and secured.

Completely exposed, she winced when she saw his smile.

The smile lit up his amber eyes. “I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to play.”

She spat out, “I know what the Unseelie version of play is and I’m not interested!”

He chuckled, a rich deep sound that came from his chest, “I’m not Unseelie and I don’t play like them. I’m different. I like to cause pleasure.” The yellow in his eyes burned brighter, flames of intense desire for her danced wildly.

Siddella swallowed hard. She couldn’t fathom anymore pleasure than what he gave her earlier, but…

He turned his back on her, stripping off his shirt.

The magnificent fall of his hair over taut muscles made her gasp. Rock hard muscles looked chiseled into his body. The play of low level light over his skin gave him more definition, emphasizing the hard and soft planes of his body. His hair swayed over his hips, just below the belt line.

She dropped her head against the cushion and sighed. “I don’t want more pelasure!”

“Sure you do. I saw the way your body reacted. Or had you forgotten?”

He trailed a finger lightly over her exposed flesh.

She shivered, hoping silently for more.

Feeling completely vulnerable, Siddella shifted against her chains. “What do you plan to do to me?”

“My dear,” he glanced over his shoulder, “I intend to eat you.

CHAPTER FOUR

Siddella wanted to believe the chills racing up her spine were from fear. She wanted desperately to believe they had nothing to do with Frika’s warm tongue and everything to do with fear.

The caress of his finger over her flat stomach sent waves of pleasure rippling through her.

He set his hand over her belly, expanding his fingers around her so she truly felt small, feminine.

Slowly, those fingers crept towards her aching pussy.

She couldn’t stop her hips from rising up to meet the tips of his fingers.

He slid a long digit inside her.

Squeezing her pussy tight, she moaned and damned herself aloud!

His voice dropped a note with each word. “You’re so wet, so hot.”

Her stomach clenched and power flowed through her limbs, awakening something primal inside. The warmth of energy returning to her limbs drew her lips upward. Her hips rocked up towards his touch.

Frika inserted a second finger.

That wonderful sensation spiked through Siddella again causing her to shudder and moan. Her head lolled to one side. Her mouth hung open, eyes closed. Struggling against the bonds made chains clatter in the room.

His thick fingers worked in and out, spreading her open.

The feel of him inside her ramped up years of pent up lust. Slowly, those fingers smeared her juices all around her opening.

She rocked her hips with the motion of his fingers, letting out a sigh she couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to stop. He was a Black Angus, a hunter wolf in Faery and he was doing marvelous things to her pussy that kept her from the horrific images ushering into her mind from her voyeuristic nature.

A hand brushed her thigh before those long fingers pulled away from her.

Siddella cried out, annoyed further that he’d stopped.

The wine bottle came into view. She gasped aloud. “What the fuck are you going to do with that?”

Frika licked his fingers. “I told you, you’ve been feeding me steady energy since this began and in order for me to give back and get the most out of it, we must fuck.” His voice rumbled with that deep, masculine need. “And I intend to prepare you for my cock.”

She smirked. “You seem awfully sure of yourself.”

Frika set the slender necked bottle down beside her.

She wished she could move her leg enough to knock it over and shatter it against the concrete but part of her was anxious to see what was coming next.

Hopefully it’d be her.

Frika took his zipper in hand and slid it down. He parted the fabric of his pants and let his cock fall forward.

Her jaw dropped at the sheer girth of his prick. She’d seen plenty of dick before. Between stealing gigs, she took time off to play in some of the clubs, wearing her favorite short skirts and tight tops to attract the boys, get them to do her bidding, and then rob them blind. None of them measured like Frika.

Even in the dim light she could see the hugeness of his cock.

His smile became a wicked grin. “I take it you’re impressed.”

Frightened. She couldn’t respond.

Stepping closer, Frika pressed the head of his large cock against her slit.

The head of his dick pressed into her opening, spreading her apart.

Gasping, she clenched her legs tighter, only to remember that she’d been bound.

He stepped back. “I can’t and won’t fuck you like this. I’m all for bondage but this position leaves nothing for both of us.”

Irritated at the loss of contact, Siddella whimpered again.

He picked up the wine bottle and ran it up and down the length of her thigh.

Kandy is a young, free spirit. Not afraid to live life, she pushes her body and soul to the limit, hitting all the loud metal concerts, knocking back drinks with the best of them, and coming home hung over to Ian Richards, the man who has taken her under his wing since she came to live with him after her parents died years ago.

Of course, Ian has a past too. He and his ex-wife parted on friendly enough terms, but he still feels guilty for their breakup. It seems to him that his sexy little roommate, who happens to be nine years younger than him, was a part of their problem. Only, his concern for her seemed fatherly until she comes home one night after a Slipknot concert and decides to seduce him. After all, she’s old enough.

For someone her age, she’s wise beyond her years, which even Ian can give her, but still. Can Kandy show Ian that in order to grow, he has to get his priorities straight? Can he get out of his head and let go of the past long enough to see just what he has under his nose? Or will he cling to memories of the past failures and remain stuck?

Speeding down I-45 towards Dallas, he didn’t know what he was thinking when he let her drive. It was one thing to say “here, let’s take my car,” and another to say “Kandy, you drive.”
He should have known better.
Taking his car was a better choice, it was brand new. He took very good care of his new Jaguar, but Kandy just had to test the new fuel injection system on the highway this time of year. She just had to test the sound system complete with the latest and cleanest speakers on the market.
It wouldn’t be so bad if she listened to something calmer than the vocalist from Mudvayne scream.
Of course, maybe she identified. The vocalist was quite pissed off, but he had to be in his early twenties, right?
Stopping at a truck stop in Centerville, they both got out, stretching their legs. Kandy was dressed in blue jeans that hugged her well rounded ass and emphasized just how tiny she was, a red velvet jacket that hid her frame. She wore a tight black top, showing Ian plenty of cleavage. Her bright red ponytail swung over the curve of her ass. Complete with two inch boots, she was a knockout!
Ian dressed more conservatively. Black slacks, a beautiful purple ribbed sweater that Kandy bought him last year for Christmas, and his trusty Bostonians. Black of course.Finishing up, Ian met Kandy outside the store and walked with her, arm in arm towards the car.
“I’ll drive,” Ian looked sternly into Kandy’s beautiful eyes.
Kandy pouted, “You don’t like my driving?”
“No,” Ian’s voice was firm.
“Coward.” Sticking her tongue out at him made Ian think of things he shouldn’t. This was just a little vacation, right?
“Fine,” she retorted to his silence. But I get to crank up the music still.”
Ian sighed heavily.
“Yay!” Kandy jumped up, clapping like a little girl who’d just gotten permission to eat sweets.
They got in the car and immediately, Kandy turned up the stereo. More Mudvayne.
Ian groaned.
“Oh come on, there’s passion behind this band. You know what that is, don’t you?”
Ian groaned loudly. “Yes, I know what passion is.”
“Was. Until,” she stopped herself.
Ian was quick to catch her mistake. “How old are these guys?”
It was too late. Kandy had drifted into the heavy rhythms of the bass players’ slap technique.
They were just outside Dallas when Kandy reached over and put her hand on Ian’s thigh. Twitching, he ignored her, feeling deaf. She’d switched out Mudvayne for a louder band with a vocalist who vacillated between sounding like an angel, or like he’d swallowed pins for breakfast.
Jerking when her hand inched up his thigh, Ian looked at Kandy, thrashing to the music. Well, that was a term for it anyway.
Before Ian became fully cognizant, Kandy’s hand had managed to find its’ way to his crotch. The warmth of her hand was welcome, but dangerous.
“What are you doing?” he asked when his zipper slid down.
Kandy reached a hand into his pants, threading her fingers through his boxers.
Choking back a groan, Ian managed to keep his eyes on the road. It had grown considerably darker now.
“What the hell are you doing, Candace?”
“Mmm, don’t call me Candace,” she purred before freeing his cock. She began stroking it, her fingers warming and massaging his rigid cock.
“I can’t pull over for this nonse–” he couldn’t finish the sentence. Keeping his eyes focused on the road, he realized her warm breath had kissed his cock.
Then her lips fell over him.
“I can’t be–oh god Kandy your mouth is so warm…”
Her lips brushed the head of his swollen member, Ian’s knees jerked against the gas pedal, sending them within inches of the car in front of them.
The car in front of them honked, flipped Ian off and changed lanes.
Ian peered down, then at the driver who gave him a thumbs up once he glanced over to see Kandy’s mouth working him over.
Ian groaned pleasurably. His body was on fire, his nerves ready to explode in Kandy’s mouth, but he maintained control. If she wasn’t careful, they’d wreck.
It started to snow.
“Fucking great!” Ian choked the words out when she sank his cock completely inside her mouth.
“I know,” Kandy replied. “You taste so damn good,” she licked the head of his cock like a lollipop. Ian grunted, trying to concentrate on the road, but Kandy’s tongue snaked around his shaft, sliding up one side and down another.
Clutching the steering wheel, his knuckles had turned white by now, and his thighs ached from his trying to remain in control of his car.
It purred, or at least he thought it did until he slowed the car and saw Kandy, purring against his cock. The sensation sent shivers racing through him. Her hot mouth covered him, sliding his cock out of her mouth with a popping sound.
“Kandy,” he gritted his teeth together. Slowing the car, he heard her giggle.
“This is so fun though,” she lowered her mouth over his cock, brushing the sensitive skin with her teeth.
The friction of her wet lips against his swollen sex was enough to drive him wild. “You should stop,” he reiterated, “or I’ll come in your mouth.”
“That’s the idea,” she licked him again.
Thrusting his hips upwards in an attempt to buck her, he quickly realized that he only added to their pleasure.
She wasn’t going to stop.
Ian didn’t care right now. The speed sign passed by too quickly for him to see what the legal limit was, but it didn’t matter. His gray jaguar could outrun any patrol car, but he really didn’t want to have matters come to that.
“Kandy,” he lowered a hand to her hair, stroking her curls, playing, tangling his fingers in her silky hair.
“Silly pet,” she uttered and moved up and down his cock faster and faster, excitement building in him. His throbbing cock jerked in her mouth once, his control over his body gone.

I needed content and figured one of the things I could talk about at length was the shit I do when I’m not actively writing or pursuing the Luxury Lifestyle. Except when I’m not actively pursuing it, I am passively letting it occur to me ha! How you like them apples?

Resident Evil training Facility

I’ve already discussed in part, my love of chess and continued desire to get back into a routine of playing regular games, both in bullet, and long game form. I like stretching my mind, and that game makes me think.

It does nothing for my imagination on a writerly level that’s apparent.

Thing is, I’m on the other side of the halfway point for “Riding Tempest” my MC Fae/Vampire Paranormal Romance. I should finish that very soon!

A few years back I discovered old game console emulators. I’d found a handful of games as I used to play as a teenager and earlier than that and begun downloading them. What? It’s not like the producers didn’t make their money back in the 90s with that shit!

Anyway, I started playing random shit. Mario Bros. Street Fighter II, then I wondered if the gamecube had an emulator and I managed to find a copy of Resident Evil 0.

This to me was gold.

(For what it’s worth, I did own/legally purchase those games when I lived at home!)

When I was playing Resident Evil 0, I was working on Her Male Slave (I’m pretty sure that was the book at the time) or my foray into paranormal romance. The game had brilliant layout, a decent control system but I’ll mention my disclaimer: I’m not a gamer. That would be the middle girlfriend and she’s more into the technical aspects of shit than I will ever be.

What really caught my attention was the detail to graphics and the storyline. Yes, it’s tired. Humanity is getting erased by Big Pharma (essentially) or being used for control purposes and zombies are the natural outcome. First question: How come I didn’t see this trend in publishing? Oh wait, I was riding it out.

I’d even tried to read a zombie romance that came out a few years later. Just FYI, it, and was terrible. Completely awful. Imagine Sex in the City, and all the shit it did to set women back 100 years, only now we’re talking about four bimbo zombies. Or zombie bimbos…not sure which really but both seemed pretty accurate.

But the visualization and graphics, the soundtrack, all of the elements of surprise that can go into a horror video game just kept fresh in my head for a long while. After I left Texas and moved in with my ex in California, I used the training facility in Resident Evil 0 as the exact mansion in Endangered and the soon to be released follow-up, Cursed. When I did the rewrites on Cursed, I had to move things around and remind myself of the layout, and that there were a few rooms in Resident Evil 0 that had other purposes than just killing zombies.

The funny thing was trying to imagine how that room would look with actual lighting, considering in the game the only light that remained on was maybe a candle? If not, it was the moon glaring in through the window. I’m pretty sure I’d used this same room in Endangered when Josef broke away from Livia, almost killed Marianne, (who did I base her on?) and went after attackers by jumping through the window, shifting into a wolf and taking off.

I remember much less of The X-Files game but it had the same sort of content as Resident Evil 0.

I find my inspiration from weird shit.

I’m still hoping to write a romance version of Dante’s The Divine Comedy, all because Sepultura had an album called Dante XXI. That, along with A-Lex were great concept albums.

Suppose I could share a small excerpt from CURSED since it’s going to be released before the end of the year!

Istvan watched Joséf study Livía and then something occurred to him. Istvan had watched Joe do this a time or two before with his opponents, but that magic came to him in the middle of fight or flight and gave him an intense perception from an energy perspective.

This was not that.

Isabella’s worry wasn’t just broadcast on her face. No, the frown real, but the scent she gave off smelled of bittersweet melon. Shame too, because her disappointment wasn’t a detractor like her attitude was, but he had no idea of the full dynamic here.

Joséf let out a small moan. “You’re sick.”

“No.” Livía turned her back to Joséf.

He grabbed her and forced her to look at him.

Bold move. He’d never do that shit with Kissa. Istvan knew firsthand how stubborn the little wolf queen was, and had tasted her fury before.

He wasn’t lying either when he said Joe didn’t allow Kissa to follow, she forced her way. Which he supposed was her right.

“You’re lying to me.”

Livía opened her mouth to respond, but stopped short. A quick sniff of the air clued Istvan into her sickness. He’d detected bitter, old dirt and earth, almost as if rust filled his nostrils and made them flair.

“Even for the undead, I can tell she’s definitely not well, Joe.”

“Don’t you think I can tell that in my mate?” Joséf pushed back from Livía slightly, caressed her cheek.

Would his typical behavior show? Or would he revert to what he’d been like before he and the pack had come to terms?

Kissa would hopefully help.

“I’m surprised you couldn’t feel it from here. I tried to not let her broadcast so much.”

Livía’s stare on Isabella would have made a lesser woman cringe. Instead, Isabella stood her ground, hands on her hips.

“I had no choice. He can’t fight a two front war, Liv. No one can without coming out scarred. And we both know he’s already jagged enough as it is.”

“I resent that.” Joséf growled and Istvan watched another set of posturing begin. He needed to keep this from escalating, else his Alpha become distracted.

“Joe.”

“What?” He spun around, clear ire in his black and silver irises. “Everyone’s been trying to baby me but the fucking pack. I expected different upon my return.” Joséf’s energy started to rise, his temper a proponent of that magic.

“And we have it. Joe, calm down.”

The wolf magic was very much tied to feelings, emotions. Joséf had, as far as Istvan had known, never been one-hundred-percent stable. “Calm down. We can deal with things one at a time. First, why are we here?”

In continuing with my exploration of personal development as a writer, to grow as a human and have more experiences to draw from, as a writer, a question pops up from time to time. It’s important to question most everything in areas like this because there can be so much confusing information.

The first question I ask is, who the hell is right? I mean, we have several different diets on the market that exist and get results, most of which are scientifically backed, but even that sometimes requires a degree most of us don’t possess and have no desire to attain.

Take the Bulletproof diet for example. I wanted to eat better to increase longevity and at first, blunt the current levels of destructive behavior I engage in routinely, then I wanted to reverse the damage done. For starters, this is NOT an excuse for me to overdo it, thinking my diet will take care of EVERYTHING. Excess is still excess. But the Bulletproof diet suggests (basic high points) higher concentration of good fats and oils (coconut, olive, non-gmo, organic, grass fed butter and ghee) and adding a lot more vegetables to your diet.

The veggies are even ranked by effectiveness based on what they do internally to the body and how they irritate or promote health function. Garlic and onion are out. (fuck that shit!) But asparagus, zucchini, squash, kale, (I haven’t named a single vegetable I LIKE) are in because they promote the body’s health response and are not irritants. Also, vegetables are mostly water.

Wildfit, another popular option isn’t nearly as restrictive in what you can eat, but then again it is. Both diets eschew cutting out ALL processed foods, unnatural ingredients, saturated fats, and going as close to clean as you possibly can.

Those two diets I have concluded, work best for me and honestly, most people I know who have gone that route. But they do conflict slightly. So who is right? In a case like this, I go for the combination because the results people seek when going on diets aren’t the same as what I want or need.

But doing your research in a case like this is best. Oh, and standard warning: I am an author, and lifestyle blogger, NOT a doctor so do your due diligence.

Let’s take another aspect of personal growth: Meditation. I’ve stated in previous posts that I meditate regularly but which style works for you? Marisa Peer says one thing, John Asaraf, another, Vishen, another, Ziva Mind, yet another.

To me, this area depends on what you’re seeking to achieve. I’ve found for starting off, Six Phase (through Mind Valley) is a great way to hack the mind and put you in the mindset needed to create a better life with more depth and meaning. As stated, my meditative practices vary on what I think I need, and what I learn from them but they are not one stop fix all solutions that happen immediately, though I have had immediate results upon starting this practice. The key is to start with one thought, hold onto it and be more present in your life. Actually pay attention to YOU. When you notice a positive thing, acknowledge it. A negative one? Same thing, and keep a journal of thoughts, feelings and maybe the event that triggers the experience. Over time you’ll see a pattern emerge.

The way I approach this area is based on my results. Need deeper sleep? I set up a month and pick one style, apply it, then test it using Sleep Cycle on my iPhone. Need to hack my attitude? I do Six-Phase because it was designed explicitly for neurological hacking to put your mind in a certain state and generate certain brain waves. Vishen designed that tactic to take the best practices he’d learned about through 40 years of Zen, teaching meditation, learning and studying about it, and then finding the quickest, most efficient ways of utilizing meditation to achieve the desired results. If I need more compassion, Emily Fletcher’s Ziva Mind Practice has that down pretty well, plus she’s not bad to look at. (like you didn’t see that coming!) If I need a self-esteem boost, Lisa Nichols has my back.

My main point is that most of these practices utilize similar concepts designed to prime the brain out of the sloth-mindset of protection and encourage stimulation to put the energy of the universe (this is actually quantum physics based) to work for you.

The main point about personal growth is that there is no one-stop solution for fixing what needs fixing. They all work to some degree but you have to put the work in. Picking up my favorite authors in this realm invariably leads me to other authors with similar points and different ways of expressing them. All of the great businessmen and thinkers of our time share one thing in common: They never stop learning.

And neither should you.

Disclaimer: I am hyperlinking for your interest, I am not shilling for these companies even though I do respect them and benefit from their products.

One of the things becoming more important as I get older and more seasoned in the publishing industry is the need for efficiency. I’m already (mostly) an efficient writer but I could improve. I’m still on my personal growth kick though and when I got the last 5-Bullet Friday email from Tim Ferriss, he was pimping his new book Tribe of Mentors.

His email had the first chapter in which is defined the premise of the book and set up the most powerful interview questions in the best order to pull the best responses from his guests, all of whom are world class performers in some manner or another.

I know, it makes more sense to put up his current book, but I don’t have it yet!

I thought for the sake of my own personal development, and of course, blog content, I’d start answering these questions to maybe give you, the reader, some help. Or fuck, I don’t know, maybe see where MY head is at.

Let’s begin.

1. What is the book (or books) you’ve given most as a gift, and why? Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

This is easy right now. Code of the Extraordinary Mind, by Vishen Lakhiani and Tools of Titans, by Timothy Ferriss.Both books are not only solid and chock full of information that can radically shape your life, but I’ve talked extensively about growth and breaking of the brules in our current culturescape here, and again here. Both books are definitely challenging.

2. What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? My readers love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.

Well, purchase “I” didn’t make, was my iPad Pro 2. For someone with visual impairment issues, getting into the stock market and looking at stock charts on an iPhone 6+, along with reading e-books. Even over my kindle fire, the iPad is superior.

But that doesn’t count since A: it’s over $100 and B: I didn’t buy it. I’ll have to come back to this question. I really don’t buy much right now outside, books, cigars, alcohol or food. And when it comes to food, I buy a LOT of food.

3. How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?

I can’t say I have anything specific. This answer is subject to change obviously, but right now, nothing’s coming to mind. Part of that is because I’ve been learning to control me more, and that means my emotions remain more in check, along with my logic so I don’t let gut reactions get the best of me in the situations where that’s not the best reaction. Have I failed? Sure I have. Spectacularly, in fact. I can remember this one time in real estate I fucked up this purchase, a $60M (yes that’s MILLION) apartment complex that was in downtown Arlington. I couldn’t structure the deal because I’d been looking at the deal entirely wrong.

I was trying to obtain financing for myself, rather than invite a team in to give them a better rate of return and still make some cash. I was trying to be a lone wolf, which appeared to be working for me in publishing (up until this last year) but that’s a different ballgame altogether.

The next time I tried to buy commercial, I went smaller and looked hard at the numbers, but also had a better idea of how to structure the deal because I’d called upon my mentors.

By the way, I now ask my mentors and supporters for help in publishing.

Chai, the awesome GM at Highland Cigar Company here in Atlanta rocking my fedora and a cigar

4. If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote: Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?)

You create your reality. It’s all about what goes in your head and comes out of your mouth that dictate how your life goes, so stop blaming others for your circumstances and the life you’re experiencing. Create your life.

5. What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, etc.)

Cultivating the cigar culture in Atlanta – because when I was at a low, the fellow BOTL and SOTL reminded me that I was still family. (For context, I tend to run lone wolf more than I should – more than any human should, really)

6. What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

Few things actually. Really simple three chord college rock (think songs like Breathless by Lifer, Comedown by Bush, Someday by Sugar Ray – Fans of mine know I NEVER touch shit that’s in 4/4 or isn’t damn annoying, musically), umm, Kekism, Meme magic, #AllHailBlueWhale, and don’t get me started on my rules for what to drink and when it can be served. Offensive gangsta rap, geeksta rap, all that shit’s absurd. But I fucking love it!

7. In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?

I am Enough. Thanks to Marisa Peer, incorporating that into my life has been the biggest improvement since T. Harv Ecker’s belief that I can rewrite my own story to support me.

8. What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?

Advice to take: If you’re going to rise above humanity in the easiest manner, work for or become an innovator. That will get you ahead faster than the old methods. Study money, not people, economics, not liberal arts, then when you have a grasp on money and how an economy is supposed to function, study people through psychology. And remember, sometimes you need to let some of that shit go.

Advice to ignore: Anything that sounds like bullshit, honestly. If it goes against whatever integrity you’ve developed to date, and it rubs you the wrong way, fucking chuck that shit.

9. What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?

Self publish from the start.

10. In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?

Everyone and everything that doesn’t serve me, honestly. I’ll flat out just say “nope, not serving me.” The fact that I can actually turn shit down has made a tremendous impact, because unless it’s a personal matter, it doesn’t matter because it’s just business and I’m out for a win-win but first I’m out for me – something I’ve ignored for too long.

11. When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)

Sascha at Occidental Cigar Club, San Francisco December 2013

Usually that’s the time when I need to decompress or “deload” as Tim Ferriss says. That usually means a cigar out on the balcony, glasses off, glass of bourbon or wine, and maybe my iPad just so I can talk to the girlfriends. I’ll play chess. I’ll change the soundtrack I’m listening to from something djent-heavy to either a lighter (is death metal lighter than djent-death?) style of metal or a completely different genre. It’s not unusual for me to be listening to Devildriver, Whitechapel, Anciients, The Room Colored Charlatan and then J. Balwin or Yelawolf and Twenty-One Pilots all in the same afternoon.

Else I’ll take off to the cigar lounge in downtown Decatur and sit for a few hours with a cigar and enjoy THAT moment – to refocus.

If you enjoyed this post and getting a deeper look at who I am, it might be time for you to look at some of the best World Class Performers and you can do that through Tim Ferriss’s books at his site.

Yeah, we’re talking about Djent and my music obsession. I need the heart because if this is my blog, and my site, and I’m going to lure fans in not by talking writing shop all the damn time, but by talking interest, let’s talk about “Odyssey to the West” the last album from the dynamic death/metal-core band Slice the Cake, made up of members who from what I understand, have never met in person.

I won’t go into the detailed explanation of what this masterpiece is about, someone else did that here. Short version, the album is a journey based loosely on “The Pilgrim’s Progress”, by John Bunyan. It strays from what the link above says, but I’m not familiar with the particular allegory.

But I will say that the album on full rotation, from start to 78 minutes of music, Shakespearian Soliloquy, death metal vocals, clean vocals, acoustic and heavy guitars, calm drums and death metal blast beats tied up with booming bass, has moved me. Parts of it pick up from their previous album “Other Slices” in the love department and the meaning I’ve pulled from that segment (taken possibly out of context) where as parts of it like Unending Waltz challenge my Soul.

Yeah. Because a musician asked the right question of the emotional listener.

Unending Waltz – give it a listen. It’s…somewhat typical for fans of more aggressive metal and fans of this band. It literally shatters me when the Oracle starts speaking, because of the questions she poses to The Pilgrim on his journey.

I’ve only known sadness until recently and this song was a huge reinforcement of what I wanted my characters to go through in order to provide you with release. Unshed tears needed to fall while I wrote, and they probably need to fall when you read my stories if you’re digging in that hard into what I’m trying to convey.

This still falls into line with a basic tenant I’ve been learning. The Oracle once asks tough questions to the Pilgrim and makes him question himself to the point of even calling him a coward. Then she puts forth another ideal that may work better for him. “Because it’s all so simple, can’t you see?”

The entire composition of this one song gets me every fucking time.

It makes it harder to write through tears but the stories come out better because I emote. I release.

In the end, “What are the chances, that I would come to see with such great ease?”

Over the last year you have probably noticed I’ve been on this spiritual and physical growth path in an attempt to not only increase my financial success but increase my happiness in life. I’ve been driven to succeed even more.

That started when I first read Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, by T. Harv Ecker. Some of you may know on that other site that I am now T-Sascha Illyvich and there’s a reason for that explained in my profile.

The journey started many years ago honestly when I was still living with an ex in Houston, TX. I’d begun reading Zig Ziglar and gotten into the idea of motivational speaking and learning to grow mentally since that was lacking.

When I came to Georgia and found a place to call home, I’d re-read T. Harv’s book and then came across the seminar. I detailed that experience a little in this #holdontothelight post.

Shortly after that, I’d become a member (Free) of MindValley Academy and found myself immersed in free (and sometimes paid) training on how to supercharge my life in a grand spectrum. In the post mentioned above I also talk about my affinity for author and lifestyle hacker, Timothy Ferriss, embracing simple yet powerful techniques that 10x my life. Everything from simplifying and reclaiming time, to hacking my diet, I’ve been embracing it.

Now I’m going through Code of the Extraordinary Mind, by MindValley founder Vishen Lakhiani. He is proof that you can actually change your reality to bend it to your will via the things he’s done in only the small time I’ve been following the instructors he’d brought to MindValley.

In CodeEx, he talks about the 12 areas of improvement, based on LifeBook, a program developed by John Butcher and without giving away Butcher’s program, Vishen asks you to think about these twelve areas, question them and really expound upon them. A girlfriend of mine is currently engaged in the Lifebook course and says the actual paid for course is deeper than what Vishen mentions, but the difference is that Vishen, like Tim Ferriss is hacking things for “busy people.”

You may be wondering what the fuck ANY of this shit has to do with my writing or my normal interests as a cigar and alcohol connoisseur and sex god.

Experience!

Writers ARE the TRUE reporters of the world. I have been quoted as saying “We are the heart of the world that beats with pain, pleasure, agony, ecstasy, hope, dreams, fears, goals, wants, needs.”

I’ve also said “Remember, we are dreamers who dream the impossible, then write it like it’s fact because the world needs that. The world hurts, and we, especially as romance writers, are the cure.”

All of the things I do to my life impact the lives of others around me and allow me to enjoy a greater range of emotion and then put that down on paper for you, the reader.

Clint shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but met her stare with a hard gaze. “I promise, it won’t land on you. My brothers have my back and we’re going to finish up the mess with our local associates soon as we can. But that’s all I can say.”

“Else you’ll have to call me your ol’lady and make me subservient?”

Clint snorted. “As if you’d ever be submissive on any level. Why do you think I hired you?”

Chuckling, Haley waved a hand about. “Oh, I don’t know. Because maybe you said to the universe, I want the biggest bitch to be my lawyer?”

“Yeah. We’ll go with that.”

Funny how he didn’t backtrack on them being a couple. For the time being, she’d chalk it up to exhaustion, alcohol and stress.

Not that she wanted to be his girlfriend.

Or did she?

“Something going on in that pretty head of yours, Hales? I saw the wheels spin for a moment.”

“No.” Haley didn’t try to stop the yawn from happening in hopes of deterring Clint’s actions.

He set a hand on her thigh but didn’t move it any further.

The spark between them flared brightly, making her stomach clench in anticipation but the look in Clint’s eyes not only told her he wanted her as bad as she wanted him, but he’d be patient staking his claim.

“Tired?”

“Yeah.” She faked another yawn but the look on his face said he wasn’t buying it. But, Clint took another sip of his tea and rose to his full height. “You should probably walk me out then. It’s getting late and we have a thing.”

Nodding, Haley stood and moved back from the couch. Any small space she could find herself in with Clint was not a place she needed to be. Not right now.

Before she made it to the front door, Clint was on her, pressing her against the wall, fingers holding her shoulders, and his mouth on hers.

She pushed back against his chest but the bulk of his muscle stopped her and she finally reneged when his tongue slid into her mouth and she made the mistake of inhaling him.

Yes, she tasted him, the beer, the cigar, but her nostrils flared at him. Instead of shoving him away, she’d found her hands clutching his shoulders for dear life and moving to his upper arms while his fingers tangled in her hair. Another hand captured her around the waist and pulled her into him while he nipped and sucked at her lip, biting playfully with enough pain to stake a claim.

It pissed her off.

Unfortunately, it also hardened her nipples and made her nether region take notice and her breath hitch.

Good thing she hadn’t decided to change when she’d come home.

Haley kissed him back, inhaling his essence while he slanted his mouth over hers. She couldn’t stop herself from wrapping a leg around his waist and pulling him even tighter against her while she cupped the back of his head.

He’d slid one hand down to grip her ass through her jeans, giving her a good, hard squeeze. The move felt as possessive as his love nip, even though what he’d said to her earlier replayed in her head.

That noise was slowly drowned out by him sucking in a breath and kissing her hard, gliding his tongue over, and ultimately between her lips.

They wrestled for control of the kiss, but he won. It wasn’t the MC influencing his hormones, this was all Clint. The man who was in control of everything, kissed her.

His tongue explored her mouth as though searching, learning. Each slow, deliberate lick had a purpose and hit its mark, heightening her arousal further. Skin grew too warm and she wanted to pull his cut off, yank off his clothes and hers, but he’d kept himself pressed against her so she couldn’t get a finger between them.

He backed off, sucked in a breath, as did she. Then he leaned in and kissed her once more, this time, with softness.

Haley tasted all of him and more, her body throbbing now from the way he caressed her mouth with his.

Then he pulled back and moved away from her before making his way to the front door.

Before she could respond, Clint had let himself out, shut the door behind him with a quiet click, leaving her heaving and frustrated, leaning against the wall in her living room.

His mug still steamed slightly but the heat from the tea was nothing compared to how she wanted to melt when he finally kissed her like he meant it.

Goddamn him.

~~~

This is the first of probably 3 MC romances I plan to write during the 2018 year. Clint is already finished in draft form but I need to edit it. I’m looking for betas, and those who subscribe and donate to my Patreon will get sneak peeks!

I was looking for something else and came across this photo gallery of graffiti murals.

My Youtube Channel for readers and authors!

Some of the work is pretty amazing! Back in December of ’16 when babygirl was here we’d taken a trip down to Krog Street Market, which is sort of like Fisherman’s Wharf and Pier 39 in the Ferry Building in San Francisco. I hear the Ponce City Market down the street is bigger/better but also bouzy.