A Birds Eye View

This week I’m in Chicago training some really good, maybe even great trainers to be even better. I am teaching them some NLP (neuro linguistic programming) skills that help trainers and coaches be even better. The value a coach brings is that birds eye view on whatever it is that is going on be it golf, training, sales or some other skill.

I’ve noticed over time that the great golfer Tiger Woods is on his best game when he has a coach. I’ve also noticed that each timeTiger decides to go without a coach, his game (golf game that is) suffers. The question then becomes, “Is Tiger’s coach a better golfer than Tiger?” I think most if not all would agree the resounding answer is “No!” If that is true, how is he able to give Tiger pointers, tips or advice to improve his game? The answer is, the birds eye view.

A good coach can see things objectively without emotional connection to the situation. It’s important to not become attached to the situation as a coach. In the spirit of helping all of us improve our game (whatever that game might be) in life… here are a just five simple and helpful tips to keep in mind. These tips come from NLP and are called presuppositions or things practitioners of NLP hold to be true.

The Quality of Your Communication Can Be Judged By The Results You Get.
Behind Every Behavior There Is A Positive Intent.
The Person With The Most Flexibility Will Have Control.
Respect The Client’s Model of The World.
The Map Is Not The Territory.

These Five short phrases just about say it all. If you are not getting the response you want in a situation, it’s probably your fault and not the person you are communicating with. Their behavior, no matter what the behavior, had a positive intent behind it. Now that positive intent may not match out model of things, values, morals, ethics, etc. but the thing to remember is that for that person who performed the behavior… there was a positive intent.

Thinking that puts you in a place of curiosity and not judgement or condemnation. That line of thinking puts you in a position of curiosity, it keeps you flexible and thus in control.

I hope these tips help you in your next encounter be more flexible and able to have more resources available when you need them.