Monday, July 21, 2008

I may have stumbled upon a cure for my tendency to procrastinate……..that insidious ability to keep myself from having to venture out into the unknown of my being and to discover more of who I really am. And can’t we all create stunning roadblocks to delay us on our path to expressing ourselves?

Neil Young was interviewed on PBS the other day and talked about his gift as a singer/songwriter. It is the same gift but with different wrappings that we all have. He spoke with a deep reverence for the giver of our creativity, the Source of our inner being. His call to creativity springs from this Source whenever it is ready, not when he is ready. Never knowing when the call may come, his intention to respect that call and to answer it immediately is the driving force of his life.

Speaking of his deep desire to be available to the call of inspiration whenever it spoke to him, I heard how mindfully aware he was of the preciousness of the relationship and connection he has with the Source. Whenever he feels something moving through him, he makes the choice to honor it greatly by making himself available to its flowing process by being present.

So if the call came knocking at dinner time, he would get up and excuse himself from the table and go to his place of creativity to devote his energies entirely to the creation of his lyrics and music. (A supporting partner is very helpful here!) Whenever the call came, he answered. The only exception he could imagine would be if a family member or someone else needed him.

This conversation invited me to observe myself without judgment as to my response to my calling. I noticed that more times than I realized that I told the call to wait—wait until I finished something, wait until I was ready, wait until I felt like it…..just wait. I thought about how often I put myself last so as not to upset others or their routines.

I am like you, a wellspring of ideas about which I can get very excited. I think…..I need to write that down or at least make a note……because I can feel the resonance of the idea and the words that go with it……the concept births lateral thinking and I am brimming with possibilities of the idea and how to express it. And then I don’t get up or I don’t sit down, or something else seems much more important than a call from the Source. And I lose the impetus…..how did the idea and sequence build, what exactly was I trying to say……..? The idea is great but the means to touch into its depth has become a transitory path without the necessary grounding….the energy dissipates and I am disconnected.

I notice my head is full and my body doesn’t move to manifest what is in it in a reverent response to the Source of creativity. I take it for granted like an old boyfriend and then it’s gone.

I heard Neil Young’s intense love for his Source. He honors it by answering the call as a first priority. When it calls to dance, he gets up to dance with it immediately. In my heart I know that love and my intention is to live in reverence with it now. In the past I would look to put on my dancing shoes first…..now I run barefooted to answer the precious Call.

Andrea Avari, Ph.D. is an intuitive spiritual coach working with clients to balance and integrate wellness, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. She is the author of “A Hit of Heaven: a soul’s journey through illusion.” Her next book, “Letters from a Lunatic in Love: creating soulful relationships” will be available at the end of the year. Her blog is available at NatteringNabobsofPositivity/blogger.com. Her website is andreaavari.com.