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Topic: This Was the Only Response I Could Think Of (Read 20043 times)

My gym plays fantastic music over its PA system. I took dance classes for years as a child and was on my high school's dance team. Therefore, I have pretty good posture and (so I've been told) I unconsciously walk in time to whatever music might be playing.

I finished my workout and was walking to the stand where the cleaning solution is kept when a woman approached me. I had never met this woman before and she was new to the gym. She said:

"You know, just because you don't have as much weight to lose as some of us doesn't mean you should strut around here with your nose in the air. Your body's not perfect either." She stood there staring at me as if she expected me to say something in response.

All I could think of was . I stood there blinking stupidly for a few minutes then walked away to clean the machine I had used. I kept thinking "I think she wants me to apologize for having good posture".

Maybe I should have used "That's an interesting assumption" but I was so flabbergasted that I couldn't come up with a response. Now I'm wondering if I am unconsciously looking conceited. I have about 10 pounds to go to reach my goal weight but I don't feel I'm better than anyone else. Most of the people there are very encouraging toward one another.

She rudely approached a stranger and 1-criticized her posture 2-commented on her weight 3-critcized her body and 4-showed her behind.

Approaching management and saying "hey, I don't want to cause problems, but the lady w/ the purple leotard this morning...I wanted you to know *insert tale here*; in case she's driving away your customers. I was VERY uncomfortable that she was criticizing my body to me"

There are so many responses. Most of them not polite. My first one was "...Whergle?" followed a couple seconds later by "buh...?"

No. I cannot see how you are "unconsciously looking conceited".

As for her "You know, just because you don't have as much weight to lose as some of us doesn't mean you should strut around here with your nose in the air. Your body's not perfect either." - how does she know how much work you put in to be healthy? She not only has issues...she's a subscriber that has collected the back issues.

You did much better than I would have and I don't think you're overthinking this. I don't think that a complaint to management would be out of order.

"One of your patrons made me feel very uncomfortable. *explanation if asked*. I don't want her to drive away other customers but she isn't very supportive and I'm afraid she'll bring down the atmosphere of the gym by being so negative."

There are so many responses. Most of them not polite. My first one was "...Whergle?" followed a couple seconds later by "buh...?"

I believe that "Whergle" is quite polite, but "buh..." is going beyond the pale.

Logged

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It's okay OP, I got this in high school as well. Oh wait you're not in high school anymore?!

I was (and am) overly blessed by the boob fairy and have scoliosis, so my Dr. told me to walk with perfect posture. My Nana helped me by having me practice with the book on the head walk. I was also painfully shy in HS and self conscious about my size. So I got the rep of being snobby and of stuffing my clothes, which increased the self consciousness. It was an ugly cycle that I had to really work through.

Your response was best, though I also agree that you might want to give the management a heads up.

I think silence was a fine response, but should she approach you again (hopefully she won't) you may need to advise her not to speak to you again or you'll call security/management/the police/whomever.

I've been taking ballroom dance lessons for 6 years or so and my instructor suggests practicing dance posture always, so it becomes automatic, or "muscle memory". It sounds like you learned the same thing in your years of dancing/dance team. I for one, always admire those who walk with poise and feel I can often recognize a dancer now by their walk. It's a good thing! (I also tend to walk to the beat of whatever music is playing, too)

I agree with others, that lady was out of line, and your complete silence was definitely the right response. If she approaches you again I'd definitely go to management and let them know she may be making others uncomfortable as well with her bold negativity toward others.