Tiger Woods to play left handed at Masters.

Tiger Woods has agreed to play the first and last hole of each round at this year’s Masters left handed.
“I hope this gesture will once and for all bring to an end the unnecessary and disproportional attention that my recent activity in the adultery department has brought me” said a tearful Tiger. “It will be a final prostration to the golfing gods”
Jack Nicklaus Who has always said that he thought Tiger would surpass his total of eighteen Majors commented on the social network site twitter that 340 characters were not enough to do justice to his thoughts on what made Tiger spick.(sic)
Fox News, have, it’s been claimed , won exclusive rights to film the left handed shots that Tiger will make throughout the tournament and should he be involved in a play- off on Sunday, rival television companies will be allowed to bid for the extra hole coverage. It has been rumored that Tiger will challenge his opponents to don fancy dress for any two of the four play-off holes.
Phil Mickelson when asked for a comment on Tiger’s leftie move said “Are you taking the piss?”
Officials at the Augusta national club distanced themselves from Tiger’s decision releasing a statement to the effect that anyone who is good enough will always be welcome to play at Augusta whether they be left handed, right handed or Black. “Some of my best friends are left handed said a weary looking red nosed man in a green jacket.
When asked if he had considered the fourteen club rule Tiger quipped “Aah Shit!”