I have never been the type to have a large group of girlfriends. I’ve always tended to stick closest to one or two people; the ones I know I can trust. Corie is one of those people. Friends from the first day of art class in 7th grade, there isn’t much we haven’t shared in over 13 years of friendship. And despite her frequent relocations and the many miles between us as a result of her military career- we continue to remain extremely close friends.

So today Corie and I were messaging back and forth, catching up on the holiday weekend’s festivities. She had met up with some old friends from high school, girls that she was closer with than I had been. One of them in particular- a short, serious brunette named Bree, had seemed to have finally found happiness. She had met an attractive, friendly guy, and they had moved in together. This information was par for the course- our conversations often revolve around old friends who have coupled up, gotten married, or had babies.

However there was an unusual exception to Bree’s happily ever; Bree and her new man were waiting until marriage.
Hold the phone- no sex? They were going to sign the papers without ever having taken a test drive?

Apparently, Bree had become quite dedicated to her faith over the years, and her new man shared her beliefs. Despite living, showering and sleeping in the same home, they were keeping it in their pants.

Unbelievable.

Furthermore, I suppose to cut down on temptation, they also had separate bedrooms. Because, I’m sure, that must’ve been the way god intended it.

Now hold on a moment- before anyone gets their panties in a twist- I am not hating on god, jesus or their various ghosts or spirits (or something like that. My personal lack of faith also comes with a healthy dose of ignorance- I’ve never been to bible study). I understand and respect the fact that some people have faith. Who am I to judge anyone’s relationship with religion? But no sex? That I can judge.

What if when the fated wedding night finally arrives, she’s breathlessly waiting to consummate the marriage, and it’s a disaster? Awkward elbows, knees, and angles that just don’t work. Imagine the disappointment, when she realizes that this is what she has just signed up for until death do they part.

I mean obviously no one expects their first time to be earth shattering. The most memorable part of my own first time was after the deed had been done. After the five minute marathon was over, I sat up from my uncomfortable position in the backseat and said, “that…was it?” I mean, we were seventeen and in the backseat of a car- but still, a wedding night shouldn’t be fraught with the same awkwardness as two teenagers in a Pontiac.