Brenda Van NiekerkAngry people tend to jump to-and act on-conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you’re in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering. Some techniques for controlling anger are finding agreement with another person rather than a conflict. In some countries, courses in anger management may be mandated by their legal system.Typical anger management techniques are the use of deep breathing and meditation as a means of relaxation. Other interventions include learning empathy, stress management skills, forgiveness, changing how you speak about yourself or others and improving optimism. As the issue of anger varies from person to person, the treatments are designed to be personal to the individual.Anger management is a form of counselling to help you cope with any angry feelings you may have that affect your health, work, social behaviour or personal relationships.Help to manage your anger may be found through, cognitive behaviour therapy, talking treatments or specific anger management or domestic violence programmes. Anger is a natural human emotion that everyone experiences at one time or another. Very mild types of anger can be expressed as distaste, displeasure, or irritation.Anger can be normal and healthy emotion that helps us instinctively detect and respond to a threatening situation. More than this, when it is properly channelled, it can be a powerful motivating force – we all know how hard we can work to remedy an obvious injustice.However it can also be an emotion that gets out of control, leading to stress, distress, unhealthiness and unhappiness. Uncontrolled anger can seriously harm your personal and professional life, because it can become incredibly destructive – to yourself and the people around you.Some angry people feel anxious and guilty about blowing up. They feel a decrease in their self-esteem with feelings of remorse and guilt. They talk about how bad they feel (some will even cry) to “hook” their partner feeling bad for them and allow them to return to grace. This is one dynamic in abusive relationships called the “fight and make up” syndrome. Anger responses are often anxiety driven. The need to dominate others becomes a way that the individual handles feelings of inner anxiety and helplessness. Aggressive behavior can be used in an attempt to avoid feeling vulnerable inside. Checks and balances in the system to threaten his absolute power are not allowed. Lord Acton summed it up well: “Power corrupts, absolute power absolutely corrupts.” Choosing mental health providers can be challenging. Try to match your needs with their experience and specialty. See what issues to consider and which questions to ask.Have a look at http://www.cureangermanagement.com for more information.