Monday, September 15, 2008

Over the weekend, a girlfriend and I were discussing relationships, imagine that! And one of the things that came up was why we are so hesitant to marry, or commit long-term. I think for myself, and many other women I know, one of the troubles we have in our relationships is knowing what is acceptable behavior and what makes a great partner. We have trouble knowing what to forgive and forget, and what to make a 'deal breaker'. I think this is because we have trouble identifying what a 'good' relationship is, exactly.

We've certainly learned what we don't want, and mostly we've learned that from our parents. For example, I don't want to marry someone who expects me to take care of them. I want an equal partner. But I've learned that from witnessing what I believe to be an inbalance in my parent's relationship. So this has taught me what I don't want. But what do I want?

As a generation, we are really the first ones to be seeking a 50-50 sort of relationship, one that truely breaks the gender roles and allows us to determine what kind of role we wish to play in any life-long commitment we may make. While we might have romances to look up to (I for example, look up to the romance my grandparents still had after 60 years of marraige) but what balanced, work-shared, 50-50 relationships do we have to emulate? We are the first generation to really have this hurdle to cross.

And so I put it to you dear reader: What relationships have you witnessed in your life that made you think, "That's the kind of partnership I want!" and what was it about the relationship that made you think that way? I'd appreciate your suggestions.