5 Things Every Divorced Mother Should Know

5. You Will Be Surprised
At some point, you will realize that it’s really not that much harder to do a lot of things, but the few things that do stress you out REALLY stress you out. For instance – groceries.
It was freezing cold, raining and I was out of basically every essential item required by my carnivorous and bottomless boys. So in the frigid monsoon, I packed up 2 children and did the “run as fast as you possibly can through the parking lot, only to be slowed by the short-legged offspring you must protect” thing. Soaked.
Spent a ton of money only to haul said children through said freezing rain (IT WAS A FRIGGIN HURRICANE OF COLD), with a cart full of groceries to my car and unload/reload/rebuckle/etc.
Then came getting them from the parking lot, a horrible space, into my apartment ON MY OWN.

4. Your Toilet Will Need Less Attention
Men are so gross. Grown men, actually, seem to be more gross than tiny child-men. I find that my toilet hates me less, stays clean longer and my grout is not “off-white”.
Again – men are so gross.

3. You Will Feel Awkward.
“My husband..and..uuhh,” you say as you attempt to tell someone about the time you bought your car or repainted your bedroom. It’s a story. One that happened WITH your then-husband. He is now not your husband, but those words are just too easy to say. It’s ok.
Really, the person that feels the most awkward is the one on the receiving end of the conversation. They don’t know how to respond, they don’t know if they should correct you, whether or not it’s ok to laugh, or how you feel at that moment. So ha.
Score 1 for the divorcees.

2. Shopping Guilt Disappears
Magic. You sign this piece of paper that cost you several grand and suddenly? You don’t have to hide a new shirt amongst all your other shirts and play the “oh honey, I’ve had this thing for YEARS” card.
You buy a cake and you eat it. On your couch. In your underwear. On a Saturday that you don’t have your children. And the guilt? It’s gone.
You can shop for new towels without having to play 20 Questions on how important new towels are. The days of convincing your spouse that pillows DO have to replaced? They are of the past.
Lots of magic.

1. It Gets Better
Eventually, you and your former husband nail down a routine. You don’t want to cry or scream or choke him (as often). You can act calmly and not bring up the past every 4.5 seconds. The Blame Game sits in the background.
After a while, having the children on your own becomes natural. You aren’t anxious for “relief” every afternoon because you know not to expect it – it is NOT coming. The kids become more comfortable and your friends become more reliable (hopefully). Basically, it’s not the end of the world. You are going to be just fine.

Posted on Monday, February 7th, 2011.

One Response to “5 Things Every Divorced Mother Should Know”

I don’t know how much I would suffer from #2 but I am sure that #1 does happen – you just get used to the new reality. That freight train is moving forward with or without you so you might as well hop on board.