Katherina

Of all thy suitors, here I charge thee, tell

Whom thou lovest best. See thou dissemble not.

Bianca

Bianca

Good sister, don’t do this to me—or to yourself. Don’t treat me like a slave. If you want my clothes, just untie me and I’ll take them off myself. You can have them all, down to my slip. I’ll do what you ask. I know to obey my elders.

Katherina

In that case, here’s what I ask: who do you like best of all your suitors? Tell the truth.

Bianca

Trust me, I’ve never seen a man I liked more than the rest.

Katherina

You’re lying, you brat. It’s Hortensio, isn’t it?

Bianca

Do you have a crush on him? By all means, you can have him. I’ll send him your way myself.

Katherina

Oh, I see, you want to be rich. You’d choose Gremio.

Bianca

You’re jealous because of him? You must be joking. I see, you’ve been joking the whole time. Kate, please, untie my hands.

Believe me, sister, of all the men alive

I never yet beheld that special face

Which I could fancy more than any other.

Katherina

Minion, thou liest. Is't not Hortensio?

Bianca

If you affect him, sister, here I swear

I'll plead for you myself, but you shall have him.

Katherina

O then, belike you fancy riches more.

You will have Gremio to keep you fair.

Bianca

Is it for him you do envy me so?

Nay, then you jest and now I well perceive

You have but jested with me all this while.

I prithee, sister Kate, untie my hands.

Katherina

[Striking her] If that be jest, then all the rest was so.

[Enter Baptista]

Baptista

Performance

Katherina, Baptista, and Bianca, Lines 23-38

Katherina

[Striking her] If that’s a joke, then I guess all the rest was, too.

[Enter Baptista]

Baptista

What is going on, girl? Where does this anger come from? Bianca, get away from her. Poor girl, she’s crying! Go work on your sewing, don’t worry about her. [To Katherina] You should be ashamed of yourself, acting like a monster. Why are you doing this to her, when she never did you wrong? Has she ever even said anything to anger you?

Katherina

Her silence insults me. And I’ll get my revenge.

[Katherina lunges at Bianca]

Baptista

Right in front of me? Bianca, get inside.

[Exit Bianca]

Katherina

Can’t you just leave me alone? No, now I see. She’s your treasure, she must have a husband. But I must dance alone, single on her wedding day and die an old maid. Don’t talk to me. I’ll go sit and weep until I get an opportunity for revenge.

[Exit]

Baptista

Has any man ever had it so bad? Hey, who’s there?

[Enter Gremio; Lucentio as Cambio; Petruchio, with Hortensio as Litio; and Tranio as Lucentio, with his servant, Biondello]

Gremio

Good morning, neighbor Baptista.

Baptista

Good morning, neighbor Gremio. Hello, gentlemen!

[To Katherina] Why, how now, dame. Whence grows this insolence?

[To Bianca] Bianca, stand aside — poor girl, she weeps —

Go ply thy needle. Meddle not with her.

[To Katherina] For shame, thou hilding of a devilish spirit,

Why dost thou wrong her that did ne'er wrong thee?

When did she cross thee with a bitter word?

Katherina

Her silence flouts me, and I'll be revenged.

[Katherina lunges at Bianca]

Baptista

What, in my sight! Bianca, get thee in.

[Exit Bianca]

Katherina

What, will you not suffer me? Nay, now I see,

She is your treasure, she must have a husband,

I must dance barefoot on her wedding day

And, for your love to her, lead apes in hell.

Talk not to me. I will go sit and weep

Till I can find occasion of revenge.

[Exit Katherina]

Baptista

Was ever gentleman thus grieved as I?

But who comes here?

[Enter three pairs to pay a visit to Senor Baptista: 1) Petruchio with his friend Hortensio, who’s pretending to be Litio, a music teacher; 2) Gremio, the elderly suitor, with Lucentio, disguised as Cambio, a language teacher; 3) Tranio, Lucentio’s servant who’s pretending to be Lucentio, with Biondello (Lucentio’s other servant) who’s carrying a lute (a musical instrument) and language books. Hortensio is not recognized by the other two Paduans present, Baptista and Gremio, because he’s in disguise.]

Gremio (the elderly suitor)

Good morrow, neighbor Baptista.

Baptista

Good morrow, neighbor Gremio. God save you, gentlemen.

Petruchio

Petruchio

Hello to you, good sir! You have a daughter named Katherina, right? Pretty and kind?

Baptista

Well, I do have a daughter named Katherina.

Gremio

You’re being too blunt, Petruchio. Be polite about it, and explain yourself.

Petruchio

Leave me be, Signor Gremio. [To Baptista] I’m a gentleman from Verona, sir. I have come here because I heard about your daughter: her beauty and her wit, her friendliness and her shy modesty, her wonderful qualities and mild behavior. I’m here to boldly ask to be a guest in your house. I want to see your daughter for myself, after hearing so much about her. And in return for hosting me, I present you with my servant. [Presenting Hortensio] He’s skilled at music and math — he can teach them to Bianca; I know she’s good at those subjects. Accept him, or you’ll offend me. His name is Litio, and he’s from Mantua.

And you, good sir! Pray, have you not a daughter

Called Katherina, fair and virtuous?

Baptista

I have a daughter, sir, called Katherina.

Gremio

[To Petruchio] You are too blunt; go to it orderly.

Petruchio

You wrong me, Signor Gremio, give me leave.

Performance

Petruchio, Lines 46-59

[To Baptista] I am a gentleman of Verona, sir,

That, hearing of her beauty and her wit,

Her affability and bashful modesty,

Her wondrous qualities and mild behavior,

Am bold to show myself a forward guest

Within your house, to make mine eye the witness

Of that report which I so oft have heard.

[Presenting Litio (Hortensio in disguise)]

And, for an entrance to my entertainment,

I do present you with a man of mine,

Cunning in music and the mathematics,

To instruct her fully in those sciences,

Whereof I know she is not ignorant.

Accept of him, or else you do me wrong.

His name is Litio, born in Mantua.

Baptista

Baptista

Welcome, sir. And your servant, too, if you say so. As for my daughter Katherina, I know she’s not the girl for you, unfortunately for me.

Petruchio

So you don’t want to let her go? Or do you not like me?

Baptista

Don’t get me wrong, I’m just calling it as I see it. Where are you from, sir? What’s your name?

Petruchio

My name is Petruchio. I’m the son of Antonio, who is famous throughout Italy.

Baptista

I know him well, so I’m glad to welcome you here.

Gremio

With all due respect, Petruchio, save your story for later. We all have favors to ask of Baptista. Let us speak, too. Step back. You’re too eager.

Petruchio

Oh, pardon me, Signor Gremio, but I’d like to get on with it.

Gremio

I don’t doubt it, sir, but I swear you’ll regret this pursuit. Neighbors, Petruchio’s gift was very kind. [To Baptista] To express the same kindness, I, who owe you more than anyone, offer you this young scholar. He’s been studying in Rheims. He is as skilled in Greek, Latin, and other languages, as the other man is in music and math. His name is Cambio; please accept his service.

You're welcome, sir, and he for your good sake.

But for my daughter Katherine, this I know,

She is not for your turn, the more my grief.

Petruchio

I see you do not mean to part with her,

Or else you like not of my company.

Baptista

Mistake me not. I speak but as I find.

Whence are you, sir? What may I call your name?

Petruchio

Petruchio is my name, Antonio's son,

A man well known throughout all Italy.

Baptista

I know him well. You are welcome for his sake.

Gremio

Saving your tale, Petruchio, I pray, let us that are

poor petitioners speak too. Baccare, you are

marvellous forward.

Petruchio

O, pardon me, Signior Gremio, I would fain be doing.

Gremio

I doubt it not, sir, but you will curse your wooing.

[To all] Neighbors, this is a gift very grateful, I am sure of it.

[Presenting to Baptista his gift of Cambio (in reality Lucentio)]

Performance

Gremio, Lines 76-81

To express the like kindness myself, that have

been more kindly beholding to you than any, freely

give unto you this young scholar that hath been long

studying at Rheims, as cunning in Greek, Latin, and

other languages, as the other in music and mathematics.

His name is Cambio; pray, accept his service.

Baptista

A thousand thanks, Signior Gremio. Welcome, good Cambio.

[To Tranio] But, gentle sir, methinks you walk like a stranger.

May I be so bold to know the cause of your coming?

Tranio (as his master Lucentio)

Performance

Tranio, Lines 85-98

Pardon me, sir, the boldness is mine own,

That, being a stranger in this city here,

Do make myself a suitor to your daughter,

Unto Bianca, fair and virtuous.

Nor is your firm resolve unknown to me

Baptista

Tranio

Pardon me, sir — I’m the bold one. New to this city, I’m here as a suitor to your daughter Bianca, beautiful and virtuous. But I know you’ve made your decision about her older sister. This is all I ask of you: that when you learn more about me, you’ll welcome me among the other suitors, with the same access and favor as the rest. And to help in the education of your daughters, I give you a simple lute, and a small selection of Greek and Latin books. Your acceptance would add to their value.

Baptista

So your name is Lucentio. Where are you from?

Tranio

Pisa, sir. I’m the son of Vincentio.

In the preferment of the eldest sister.

This liberty is all that I request —

That, upon knowledge of my parentage,

I may have welcome 'mongst the rest that woo,

And free access and favor as the rest.

And, toward the education of your daughters,

I here bestow a simple instrument,

And this small packet of Greek and Latin books.

If you accept them, then their worth is great.

Baptista

Lucentio is your name? Of whence, I pray?

Tranio

Of Pisa, sir, son to Vincentio.

Baptista

A mighty man of Pisa, by report

I know him well. You are very welcome, sir,

[To Hortensio as the music teacher] Take you the lute,

[To Lucentio as the language teacher] and you the set of books;

You shall go see your pupils presently.

Holla, within!

[Enter a Servant]

Sirrah, lead these gentlemen

Baptista

A mighty man from Pisa! I’ve heard a lot about him. Welcome, sir. [To Hortensio] You take the lute, [to Lucentio] and you take the set of books. You’ll both go see your students in a moment. You there, in the house!

[Enter a Servant]

Sir, lead these gentlemen to my daughters. Tell them both that these are their tutors, and that they should treat them well.

[Exeunt Servant, Hortensio and Lucentio]

Let’s go for a walk in the orchard, and then to dinner. You are most welcome, so I hope you feel at home.

Petruchio

Signor Baptista, I’m afraid I’m in a hurry, and I can’t come here to woo Katherina every day. You knew my father well, so you know that I’m the only heir to his land and wealth, and I’ve improved it rather than decreased it. Tell me, if I win your daughter’s love, what dowry will she bring with her as my wife?

Baptista

Twenty thousand crowns right away, and then half of my lands after I die.

To my daughters, and tell them both

These are their tutors. Bid them use them well.

[Exeunt Servant, Hortensio and Lucentio]

We will go walk a little in the orchard,

And then to dinner. You are passing welcome,

And so I pray you all to think yourselves.

Petruchio

Performance

Petruchio and Baptista, Lines 111-138

Signor Baptista, my business asketh haste,

And every day I cannot come to woo.

You knew my father well, and in him me,

Left solely heir to all his lands and goods,

Which I have bettered rather than decreased.

Then tell me, if I get your daughter's love,

What dowry shall I have with her to wife?

Baptista

After my death the one half of my lands,

And in possession twenty thousand crowns.

Petruchio

And for that dowry I'll assure her of

Her widowhood, be it that she survive me,

In all my lands and leases whatsoever.

Let specialties be therefore drawn between us,

Petruchio

In return, I’ll guarantee her rights as a widow. If she lives longer than me, she will inherit all my lands and wealth. Let’s write up a contract between us, so we both keep our sides of the bargain.

Baptista

Yes, just as soon as you win her love — that is the most important part.

Petruchio

Oh, that’ll be easy. Let me tell you, father, I’m as determined as she is stubborn. And when two raging fires meet, they consume whatever fuels them. Even though fire grows with a little wind, too much wind will put the fire out. That’s what I’ll be to her. She’ll yield to me, since I’m tough. I don’t pursue women weakly.

Baptista

I hope you’re successful—good luck! But get ready for some insults.

Petruchio

I’ll shield myself like a mountain against the wind: mountains don’t shake, even though the wind never stops blowing.

[Enter Hortensio (as Litio), shaking]

Baptista

What happened, my friend? Why do you look so pale?

Hortensio

If I look pale, it’s from fear.

That covenants may be kept on either hand.

Baptista

Ay, when the special thing is well obtained,

That is, her love — for that is all in all.

Petruchio

Why, that is nothing. For I tell you, father,

I am as peremptory as she proud-minded;

And where two raging fires meet together

They do consume the thing that feeds their fury.

Though little fire grows great with little wind,

Yet extreme gusts will blow out fire and all.

So I to her, and so she yields to me,

For I am rough and woo not like a babe.

Baptista

Well mayst thou woo, and happy be thy speed!

But be thou armed for some unhappy words.

Petruchio

Ay, to the proof, as mountains are for winds,

That shake not though they blow perpetually.

[Enter Hortensio, as a music teacher, shaking]

Baptista

How now, my friend! Why dost thou look so pale?

Hortensio

For fear, I promise you, if I look pale.

Baptista

What, will my daughter prove a good musician?

Hortensio

I think she'll sooner prove a soldier.

Iron may hold with her, but never lutes.

Baptista

Baptista

What, is my daughter not a good musician?

Hortensio

I think she’d be a better soldier than a musician. Weapons might suit her, but never lutes.

Baptista

Can’t you break her in, and make her like the lute?

Hortensio

No, I can’t — she’s broken the lute on me! All I did was tell her she had the frets wrong, and move her hand to teach her the right fingering. Then all of a sudden, impatient and monstrous, she said, “You call these frets? I’ll do more than fret, I’ll fume!” And as she spoke, she hit me with the lute so that my head went right through it! And I stood there astonished for a while, my head sticking out of the wood as if I was on the stocks. She called me a worthless fiddler, a strumming scoundrel. She abused me with twenty of these names, as if she’d prepared them in advance.

Why then, thou canst not break her to the lute?

Hortensio

Performance

Hortensio, Lines 145-156

Why, no, for she hath broke the lute to me.

I did but tell her she mistook her frets,

And bowed her hand to teach her fingering,

When, with a most impatient devilish spirit,

'Frets, call you these?' quoth she; 'I'll fume with them.'

And, with that word, she struck me on the head,

And through the instrument my pate made way;

And there I stood amazèd for a while,

As on a pillory looking through the lute;

While she did call me ‘rascal fiddler’

And ‘twangling Jack,’ with twenty such vile terms,

As had she studied to misuse me so.

Petruchio

Performance

Petruchio, Lines 157-159

Now, by the world, it is a lusty wench;

I love her ten times more than e'er I did.

O, how I long to have some chat with her!

Baptista

[To Hortensio (as music teacher)]

Well, go with me and be not so discomfited.

Proceed in practice with my younger daughter;

She's apt to learn and thankful for good turns.

Signor Petruchio, will you go with us,

Or shall I send my daughter Kate to you?

Petruchio

Performance

Petruchio, Lines 165-178

Petruchio

What a lively woman. I swear, I love her ten times more than I did before. Oh, how I long to get to know her.

Baptista

[To Hortensio] Well, come with me. No need to be discouraged. Go practice with my younger daughter. She’s a fast learner, and a more grateful student. Signor Petruchio, do you want to come with us? Or should I send my daughter Kate to you?

Petruchio

Yes, please send her to me. I’ll wait for her here.

[Exeunt all but Petruchio]

And I’ll woo her fiercely when she comes. If she yells at me, I’ll tell her she sings as sweetly as a nightingale. If she frowns, I’ll say she looks as serene as roses washed by the morning dew. If she’s mute and won’t say a word, I’ll compliment her talkativeness, her moving eloquence. If she sends me packing, I’ll thank her as if she’d asked me to stay with her for a week. If she says she won’t marry me, I’ll ask her when we should make our marriage announcement, and when the wedding will be. Here she comes. Now’s the time, Petruchio: speak.

[Enter Katherina]

Good morning, Kate! I hear that’s your name.

I pray you do. I will attend her here,

[Exeunt all but Petruchio]

And woo her with some spirit when she comes.

Say that she rail, why then I'll tell her plain

She sings as sweetly as a nightingale.

Say that she frown, I'll say she looks as clear

As morning roses newly washed with dew.

Say she be mute and will not speak a word,

Then I'll commend her volubility

And say she uttereth piercing eloquence.

If she do bid me pack, I'll give her thanks

As though she bid me stay by her a week.

If she deny to wed, I'll crave the day

When I shall ask the banns, and when be marrièd.

But here she comes, and now, Petruchio, speak —

[Enter Katherina]

Performance

Petruchio and Katherina, Lines 179-219

Good morrow, Kate, for that's your name, I hear.

Katherina

Well have you heard; but something hard of hearing.

They call me Katherine that do talk of me.

Petruchio

You lie, in faith, for you are called plain Kate,

And bonny Kate, and sometimes Kate the curst,

But Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom,

Kate of Kate Hall, my super-dainty Kate

Katherina

You’ve heard well — for someone hard of hearing. They call me Katherina, those who speak of me.

Petruchio

You’re lying, I know you’re just called Kate. Or good old Kate, or sometimes Kate the cruel. But definitely Kate. The prettiest Kate in the world. Kate from Kateville, my sweetest Kate, for sweets are all Kates — so, Kate, hear me out, Kate my only comfort. I’ve heard so much about you. Your good manners are praised everywhere, your virtues and your beauty are thoroughly well-known. I’m so moved by your reputation that I’ve come to woo you — not as thoroughly as you deserve — and ask you to be my wife.

Katherina

Moved, you say? Well tell whoever moved you here to remove you. You definitely seem like a moveable.

Petruchio

What’s a moveable?

Katherina

A piece of furniture. A stool.

Petruchio

Exactly. So come sit on me.

Katherina

As if you were a donkey. Asses were made for bearing, and so are you.

Petruchio

Women are made for bearing, and so are you.

Katherina

Me? Not by a weak donkey like you.

For dainties are all Kates, and therefore — Kate.

Take this of me, Kate, of my consolation:

Hearing thy mildness praised in every town,

Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded —

Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs —

Myself am moved to woo thee for my wife.

Katherina

‘Moved,’ in good time! Let him that moved you hither

Remove you hence. I knew you at the first;

You were a moveable.

Petruchio

Why, what's a moveable?

Katherina

A joined stool.

Petruchio

Thou hast hit it. Come, sit on me.

Katherina

Asses are made to bear, and so are you.

Petruchio

Women are made to bear, and so are you.

Katherina

No such jade as you, if me you mean.

Petruchio

Alas, good Kate, I will not burden thee,

For knowing thee to be but young and light —

Katherina

Petruchio

Oh, my good Kate, I wouldn’t burden you. I know you’re too young and light —

Katherina

Too light for a peasant like you to catch. But no lighter than I should be.

Katherina

Petruchio

Katherina

Petruchio

My remedy is then to pluck it out.

Katherina

Ay, if the fool could find it where it lies.

Petruchio

Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting —

In his tail.

Katherina

Petruchio

No, not at all! I find you to be quite gentle. I was told you were rude, disdainful, and gloomy. But those were all lies. In fact, you’re pleasant, playful, and extraordinarily courteous. You’re not sharp-tongued — you’re as sweet as flowers in springtime. You never frown or glare, or bite your lip like angry women do. You don’t take pleasure in angry speech. Instead, you entertain your suitors calmly, with polite speech, soft and friendly! And why does everyone say that Kate limps? They’re lying. Kate is as straight and slender as a hazel twig, as brown as hazelnuts — but even sweeter. Let me see you walk. See, you don’t limp.

Katherina

Leave now, you fool. And save the orders for your servants.

Petruchio

Diana has never graced a grove the way that Kate graces this room with her regal steps. You should be Diana, and let her be Kate. Then Kate can be chaste, and Diana playful with me.

In his tongue.

Petruchio

Whose tongue?

Katherina

Yours, if you talk of tales, and so farewell.

Petruchio

What, with my tongue in your tail! Nay, come again,

Good Kate, I am a gentleman.

Katherina

That I'll try.

[She strikes him]

Petruchio

Performance

Petruchio and Katherina, Lines 220-237

I swear I'll cuff you if you strike again.

Katherina

So may you lose your arms,

If you strike me, you are no gentleman,

And if no gentleman, why then no arms.

Petruchio

Katherina

Then you’ll lose your arms. If you hit me, you’re no gentleman. And if you’re not a gentleman, well then you’ve got no coat of arms.

Petruchio

No coat of arms, Kate? Then write me in your family history.

Katherina

What’s your family crest? A jester’s hat? A coxcomb?

Petruchio

A combless cock, if Kate will be my hen.

Katherina

No cock of mine. You crow just like a cowardly rooster.

Petruchio

Oh, come on, Kate. Why the sour face?

Katherina

It’s how I look when faced with a crabapple.

Petruchio

Not a crabapple in sight. So why the sour face?

Katherina

Oh, but there is.

Petruchio

Then show it to me.

Katherina

I would, if I had a mirror.

Petruchio

Wait, you mean me?

Katherina

Good guess, for someone so childish.

Petruchio

By Saint George, you’re right. I’m too youthful for you.

Katherina

Yet your face is so wrinkled.

Petruchio

Wrinkled with worry.

Katherina

Doesn’t worry me.

Petruchio

Listen, Kate, you can’t escape so easily.

Katherina

If I stay, I’ll just keep annoying you. Let me go.

A herald, Kate? O, put me in thy books!

Katherina

What is your crest, a coxcomb?

Petruchio

A combless cock, so Kate will be my hen.

Katherina

No cock of mine, you crow too like a craven.

Petruchio

Nay, come, Kate, come; you must not look so sour.

Katherina

It is my fashion when I see a crab.

Petruchio

Why, here's no crab, and therefore look not sour.

Katherina

There is, there is.

Petruchio

Then show it me.

Katherina

Had I a glass, I would.

Petruchio

What, you mean my face?

Katherina

Well aimed of such a young one.

Petruchio

Now, by Saint George, I am too young for you.

Katherina

Yet you are withered.

Petruchio

'Tis with cares.

Katherina

I care not.

Petruchio

Nay, hear you, Kate. In sooth, you scape not so.

Katherina

Performance

Petruchio and Katherina, Lines 238-277

I chafe you if I tarry. Let me go.

Petruchio

No, not a whit. I find you passing gentle.

'Twas told me you were rough, and coy, and sullen,

And now I find report a very liar;

For thou are pleasant, gamesome, passing courteous,

But slow in speech, yet sweet as springtime flowers.

Thou canst not frown, thou canst not look askance,

Nor bite the lip as angry wenches will.

Nor hast thou pleasure to be cross in talk;

But thou, with mildness, entertain'st thy wooers

With gentle conference, soft and affable.

Why does the world report that Kate doth limp?

O slanderous world! Kate, like the hazel-twig,

Is straight and slender, and as brown in hue

As hazelnuts, and sweeter than the kernels.

O, let me see thee walk. Thou dost not halt.

Katherina

Go, fool, and whom thou keep'st, command.

Petruchio

Did ever Dian so become a grove

As Kate this chamber with her princely gait?

O, be thou Dian, and let her be Kate;

And then let Kate be chaste and Dian sportful.

Katherina

Where did you study all this goodly speech?

Petruchio

It is extempore, from my mother-wit.

Katherina

Katherina

Where did you learn to speak like that?

Petruchio

Oh, it’s spontaneous. I was born with natural wit.

Katherina

A witless son from a witty mother.

Petruchio

Aren’t I wise?

Katherina

Yes, just wise enough to keep yourself warm.

Petruchio

That’s just what I mean, sweet Katherina. I’ll keep you warm in your bed. So let’s put this conversation aside. To put it simply, your father has decided that you’ll be my wife. We’ve already agreed on your dowry. Whether you like it or not, I’m going to marry you. Now, Kate, I’d suit you as a husband. I swear by the light — the light that lets me see your beauty, which is the reason I love you — that you’ll marry nobody else but me.

[Enter Baptista, Gremio, and Tranio (as Lucentio)]

For I was born to tame you, Kate, to turn you from a wild Kate into a Kate as domesticated as any household Kate. Here comes your father. Don’t fight it. I must have, and will have, Katherina as my wife.

A witty mother, witless else her son.

Petruchio

Am I not wise?

Katherina

Yes, keep you warm.

Petruchio

Marry, so I mean, sweet Katherina, in thy bed.

And therefore, setting all this chat aside,

Thus, in plain terms: your father hath consented

That you shall be my wife; your dowry 'greed on;

And, will you, nill you, I will marry you.

Now, Kate, I am a husband for your turn,

For by this light, whereby I see thy beauty,

Thy beauty, that doth make me like thee well,

Thou must be married to no man but me.

For I am he, am born to tame you, Kate,

And bring you from a wild Kate to a Kate

Conformable as other household Kates.

[Enter Baptista, Gremio and Tranio (as Lucentio)]

Here comes your father. Never make denial;

I must and will have Katherine to my wife.

Baptista

Performance

Petruchio, Katherina, and Baptista, Lines 278-296

Now, Signor Petruchio, how speed you with my daughter?

Petruchio

How? But well, sir. How but well.

It were impossible I should speed amiss.

Baptista

Why, how now, daughter Katherine! In your dumps?

Katherina

Baptista

Now, Signor Petruchio, how’s it going with my daughter?

Petruchio

How could it go any other way than perfectly? It was impossible for me to fail.

Baptista

Well what’s wrong, daughter Katherina? Down in the dumps?

Katherina

You call me your daughter? Oh sure, you’ve been a great father. Marrying me off to this half lunatic, this reckless, good-for-nothing hooligan! He thinks all he has to do is swear he’ll marry me, and it’s done.

Petruchio

Here’s the truth, father. You and everyone else who told me about her, told me wrong. If she’s cruel, it’s just as a strategy. For she’s not proud — she’s as modest as a dove. She’s not hot-headed, but temperate as the morning. As patient as Griselda, as chaste as the Romans’ Lucretia. We got along so well that we’ve set Sunday as the wedding day.

Katherina

I’d rather see you hanged on Sunday.

Gremio

Listen to that, Petruchio — she said she’d rather see you hanged.

Tranio

You call this success? Well then, we can say goodbye to our plan.

Call you me ‘daughter’? Now, I promise you,

You have showed a tender fatherly regard

To wish me wed to one half-lunatic,

A madcupruffian and a swearing Jack,

That thinks with oaths to face the matter out.

Petruchio

Father, 'tis thus. Yourself and all the world

That talked of her have talked amiss of her.

If she be curst, it is for policy,

For she's not froward, but modest as the dove;

She is not hot, but temperate as the morn;

For patience she will prove a second Grissel,

And Roman Lucrece for her chastity;

And to conclude, we have 'greed so well together,

That upon Sunday is the wedding-day.

Katherina

I'll see thee hanged on Sunday first.

Gremio

Hark, Petruchio, she says she'll see thee hanged first.

Tranio (as Lucentio)

Is this your speeding? Nay, then, good-night our part.

Petruchio

Performance

Petruchio, Katherina, and Baptista, Lines 299-321

Be patient, gentlemen, I choose her for myself;

If she and I be pleased, what's that to you?

'Tis bargained 'twixt us twain, being alone,

That she shall still be curst in company.

Petruchio

Be patient, gentlemen. I still choose to marry her. If she and I are happy together, what’s it to you? We made a plan between the two of us when we were alone: she’ll still act cruel in public. Let me tell you, it’s incredible how much she loves me! Oh, the kindest Kate! She clung to my neck, piling kisses onto kisses, and promises onto promises. She won me over faster than I could blink. You’re so naive. It’s priceless to see how tame a cowardly wretch like me can make even the cruelest hag, when men and women are alone. Give me your hand, Kate. I’m going to Venice to buy you a wedding dress. You provide the feast, father, and invite the guests. I’ll make sure Katherina is finely dressed.

I tell you, 'tis incredible to believe

How much she loves me. O, the kindest Kate,

She hung about my neck, and kiss on kiss

She vied so fast, protesting oath on oath,

That in a twink she won me to her love.

O, you are novices! 'Tis a world to see

How tame, when men and women are alone,

A meacock wretch can make the curstest shrew.

Give me thy hand, Kate. I will unto Venice,

To buy apparel 'gainst the wedding-day.

Provide the feast, father, and bid the guests.

I will be sure my Katherine shall be fine.

Baptista

I know not what to say, but give me your hands.

God send you joy. Petruchio, 'tis a match.

Gremio and Tranio

Amen, say we. We will be witnesses.

Petruchio

Baptista

I don’t know what to say! Give me your hands. May God give you joy, Petruchio. It’s a match!

Gremio and Tranio

Amen. We’ll be the witnesses.

Petruchio

Father, wife, gentlemen: farewell. I’m off to Venice. Sunday’s fast approaching. We’ll have rings and things and the finest clothing. Kiss me, Kate—we’ll be married on Sunday!

[Exeunt Petruchio and Katherina separately]

Gremio

Has a marriage ever been thrown together so quickly?

Baptista

Indeed, gentleman. I feel like a salesman who’s about to make a risky deal.

Tranio

The goods have been wearing out for a while now. They’ll either bring you wealth or get lost in transit.

Baptista

The only wealth I want out of this marriage is some peace and quiet.

Gremio

She’s no quiet catch. But now, Baptista, let’s talk about your younger daughter. The time we’ve been waiting for has come. I’m your neighbor, and I was the first suitor.

Tranio

But I’m the one that loves Bianca more than words can say, or thoughts can imagine.

Gremio

There’s no way you love her as much as I do, youngster.

Father, and wife, and gentlemen, adieu.

I will to Venice; Sunday comes apace.

We will have rings and things and fine array,

And kiss me, Kate, we will be married on Sunday.

[Exeunt Petruchio and Katherina separately]

Gremio

Was ever match clapped up so suddenly?

Baptista

Faith, gentlemen, now I play a merchant's part,

And venture madly on a desperate mart.

Tranio

'Twas a commodity lay fretting by you;

'Twill bring you gain, or perish on the seas.

Baptista

The gain I seek is quiet in the match.

Gremio

No doubt but he hath got a quiet catch.

Performance

Gremio, Tranio, and Baptista, Lines 329-342

But now, Baptista, to your younger daughter.

Now is the day we long have looked for;

I am your neighbor and was suitor first.

Tranio

And I am one that love Bianca more

Than words can witness or your thoughts can guess.

Gremio

Youngling, thou canst not love so dear as I.

Tranio

Graybeard, thy love doth freeze.

Gremio

But thine doth fry.

Skipper, stand back, 'tis age that nourisheth.

Tranio

But youth in ladies' eyes that flourisheth.

Baptista

Content you, gentlemen. I will compound this strife.

'Tis deeds must win the prize, and he of both

Tranio

Old man, your love’s frozen.

Gremio

And yours is fried. Stand back, boy. It’s age that nourishes.

Tranio

But youth, in ladies’ eyes, is what flourishes.

Baptista

All right, gentlemen. I’ll settle this fight. Only your deeds and property can win you the prize. Whoever can assure my daughter the most wealth will have her love. What can you offer her, Signor Gremio?

Gremio

First of all, as you know, my house in the city is richly decorated with silver and gold, basins and jugs to wash her dainty hands, lavishly dyed Tyrian tapestries, ivory boxes filled with coins, cypress chests full of quilted blankets. I can offer Expensive clothing, curtains, and canopies, fine linens, and Turkish cushions embroidered with pearls. I’ve got drapes decorated with golden threads, pewter and brass, and everything needed for a house or housekeeping. And at my farm, I have a hundred dairy cows, six score fat oxen in my stables, and everything else in equal proportions. I’m getting on in years, I must confess. If I die tomorrow, all this will be hers. That is, if she’ll be mine and mine only while I still live.

That can assure my daughter greatest dower

Shall have my Bianca's love.

Say, Signor Gremio, what can you assure her?

Gremio

Performance

Gremio, Lines 343-368

First, as you know, my house within the city

Is richly furnishèd with plate and gold;

Basins and ewers to lave her dainty hands;

My hangings all of Tyrian tapestry;

In ivory coffers I have stuff'd my crowns;

In cypress chests my arras counterpoints;

Costly apparel, tents, and canopies,

Fine linen, Turkey cushions boss'd with pearl,

Valance of Venice gold in needlework,

Pewter and brass, and all things that belong

To house or housekeeping. Then, at my farm

I have a hundred milch-kine to the pail,

Six-score fat oxen standing in my stalls,

And all things answerable to this portion.

Myself am struck in years, I must confess;

And if I die tomorrow, this is hers,

If, whilst I live, she will be only mine.

Tranio

That 'only' came well in. Sir, list to me.

I am my father's heir and only son.

If I may have your daughter to my wife,

I'll leave her houses three or four as good

Within rich Pisa walls, as any one

Old Signor Gremio has in Padua,

Besides two thousand ducats by the year

Of fruitful land, all which shall be her jointure.

Tranio

Only? That’s fitting. Listen to me, sir: I’m my father’s heir and his only son. If I may marry your daughter, I’ll leave her with three or four houses in Pisa, just as good as what old Gremio has in Padua. In addition, every year she’ll earn two thousand ducats’ from my fruitful land. All that will be in her estate. What, have I discouraged you, Signor Gremio?

Gremio

Two thousand ducats every year from land! [Aside] All my land isn’t worth that much. [Aloud] Yes, she’ll have that, and my merchant ship that’s now anchored outside Marseilles. [To Tranio] What, are you speechless at hearing the words “merchant ship”?

Tranio

Gremio, you know my father has no less than three of those. Besides that, he has two large galley ships and twelve small ones. She’ll inherit these — and twice as much as whatever you offer next.

Gremio

Well, I’ve offered everything I have. And everything I have is all I can give her. [To Baptista] If you like me, she can have me and all I own.

What, have I pinched you, Signor Gremio?

Gremio

Two thousand ducats by the year of land!

[Aside] My land amounts not to so much in all.

[Aloud] That she shall have, besides, an argosy

That now is lying in Marseilles' road.

[To Tranio] What, have I choked you with an argosy?

Tranio

Gremio, 'tis known my father hath no less

Than three great argosies, besides two galliasses,

And twelve tight galleys. These I will assure her,

And twice as much whate'er thou offer'st next.

Gremio

Nay, I have offered all, I have no more;

And she can have no more than all I have.

[To Baptista] If you like me, she shall have me and mine.

Tranio

Why, then the maid is mine from all the world

By your firm promise. Gremio is out-vied.

Baptista

I must confess your offer is the best.

And let your father make her the assurance,

She is your own; else — you must pardon me —

Tranio

In that case, she’s mine and no-one else’s — according to your promise. Gremio’s been out-bet.

Baptista

I must confess, your offer is better, Tranio. If your father guarantees it, she’s all yours. Otherwise, pardon me, but what will happen to her estate if you die before your father does?

Gremio

Adieu, good neighbor.

[Exit Baptista]

[To Tranio] Now I fear thee not.

Sirrah, young gamester, your father were a fool

Gremio

Farewell, good neighbor.

[Exit Baptista]

[To Tranio] As for you, you childish gambler, now I’m not afraid of you. Your father would be a fool to leave you everything. He would have to depend on you in his old age. A ridiculous idea! An old Italian fox like that won’t be so kind, my boy.

[Exit Gremio]

Tranio

Curse you, you sneaky, withered old man. But I still have tricks up my sleeve. I intend to fulfill my promise to my master. I see no reason why fake Lucentio shouldn’t create his own father, a fake Vincentio. That’s strange: fathers usually create their children. But in this case, a child will create his parent — that is, if I succeed.