What Will You Leave Behind?

We all have family stories that define who we are—and the legacy we leave behind

My family story takes place more than 50 years ago. I am the daughter of Deepak Chopra, a renowned doctor and pioneer in alternative healing and meditation. He came from humble and beautiful beginnings. My grandfather, Dr. Krishan Chopra (Daddy), is from a middle-class family that emphasized hard work and education. His tireless work resulted in admission to medical school in Pakistan and being mentored by foreign doctors in British India. Daddy was even the personal physician to the famed Lord Mountbatten, the last viceroy of India.

Daddy married Pushpa (Maa) when he was 25 years old. Maa had enormous grace and intellect and a strong personality. She too came from a family that emphasized education. She was outspoken, fiercely protective of her loved ones, and the matriarch of her family and community.

After independence from the British, Daddy was one of the most respected doctors in India. As a colonel in the Indian army, he was assigned to work in Jabalpur, a modest city in North India. Maa and Daddy lived in a comfortable army house with their two sons, Deepak (my father) and Sanjiv.

My grandfather's reputation as a healer soon spread throughout the region. People traveled by foot for days to bring their loved ones to see this doctor who provided medicine, sage advice, and compassion to those suffering. Many who came to him were very poor and had no hope of survival before meeting him. They had little money for food and often died of preventable diseases or complications that modern medicine could address but to which they were often denied access.

When people arrived to see my grandfather, my grandmother welcomed them with food, blankets, and clothing. Maa secretly gave them money to pay for the food and medicine they needed. The healing was not just physical but emotional and spiritual as well. In Maa and Daddy, they found people who showed genuine love for humanity—and a couple who served others because it made them happier, more fulfilled, and more purposeful.

After he'd been in Jabalpur for two years, the army assigned my grandfather to another city, and the family prepared to move. The story my father and uncle told of their departure has affected me deeply. When they arrived at the train station, there were thousands of people. Families from the city and surrounding villages had come to say goodbye. They were in tears, brought gifts, and expressed their deepest gratitude to the great doctor and his wife who had healed so many.

For my father and my uncle, this experience shaped who they would become, and it created the legacy that shapes our entire family. We were taught by example what it means to love, heal, and truly give back.

As I think about the legacy that my parents and grandparents have passed on to me, there are some values I want to pass on to my children and grandchildren. [pagebreak]

Stay true to your purposeOne of the most frequent questions I hear is "What was it like growing up as the daughter of Deepak Chopra?" For my brother and me, our early childhood was quite normal in spite of how famous our father is. Our parents were young Indian immigrants who came to America for my father's medical education. My father worked hard and was generally stressed out, and we hardly saw him. My mother was a stay-at-home mom who provided an anchor for us and our extended family and community.

When I was 9 years old, my father discovered meditation, and his life dramatically changed. He made a commitment to be healthier and pursue his true passions. In turn, our family life became better as well. (New to meditation? Here are three ways to get started.)

When I was in my early teens, my father got clarity on how he could serve in his own unique way. He became one of the original pioneers in the mind-body connection, writing books and traveling around the world to lecture. In those days, much of what he talked about was taboo in the traditional medical establishment.

It is my father's commitment to explore and share new ideas without fear that will have a lasting legacy for our family. My father taught us to speak and act with knowledge and personal passion and not be influenced by criticism or lack of acceptance by others. Two decades ago, he was mocked and rejected, and now renowned scientists from around the world seek his guidance.

Knowledge is sacredFor several generations, my family has prioritized education and the pursuit of knowledge.

There is a Hindu parable that is often shared in our home. In Indian mythology, Lakshmi is the goddess of wealth and good fortune. Saraswati is the goddess of speech, wisdom, and knowledge. My parents used to tell us that if we pursued Saraswati (knowledge), then Lakshmi (wealth) would get jealous and shower us with attention. I have seen my family always pursue knowledge first, and, in turn, we have been blessed with good fortune. My intent is to provide my children with the education to give them the confidence that they can always pursue their dreams.

The karma of kindnessThe story of my grandparents in Jabalpur is one that has been told to all their grandchildren and now to our children. It has shaped one of my family's core values: Always be kind to others.

Maa and Daddy gave back in profound ways. My grandmother adopted other women in her circles, from nurturing them after they gave birth to educating their children and listening and helping them in both small and significant ways. Even today I encounter my grandfather's patients, and they share stories of how he helped their families, and they welcome my family into their homes and communities.

Likewise, my own parents have carried on the tradition of caring for others. My father has improved the lives of millions of people around the world. My mother has nurtured our core family, our extended family, and my father's global community I am forever grateful for the platform my parents created that has allowed me to do the work that I do and give back in my own way I want my children to recognize the legacy that their prior generations created and continue to give and receive the karma of kindness.

I asked my father what he thinks his legacy will be. He took his time to respond. "My intent is to influence a critical mass of people to create a peaceful, just, sustainable, and healthy world," he finally said. "But my most important legacy, I think, will be the grandchildren and what they accomplish in their lives."

I look at my daughters, Tara and Lela, and have hope for the future. In them I see the triumphs, life lessons, and values of the generations that came before them. I cherish my role as their mom to influence their path and teach them the values to be good citizens of our planet. And while each will have to discover her own path, through this legacy they have a strong foundation to contribute to and improve their world.

MALLIKA CHOPRA is the founder of intent.com, an online destination for sharing intentions and realizing dreams, and the author of 100 Promises to My Baby and 100 Questions from My Child.

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