Jul 7, 2013

While I was away : June 2013 [Part 2 / 2]

Spoiler Alert: You are being watched!The world has changed much since my last post, so let's get started on the wonderful times of our lives. Let's start by saying Obama is the most powerful man on Earth. Who said Indians are not tech-savvy? We raise our kids, and they have kids who hack into our computer systems. What do I say?! Heaven must be missing some angels.Paris, Wacko Jackson's beautiful daughter attempted to kill herself. Whoever said money can buy everything should be dunk in puke.

PRISM. Finally, we know Hollywood is not all fiction.Our protagonist ran like a headless chicken. Right into the unwelcome hands of unwilling nations. What is ironic are the double standards. Uncle Sam, of freedom and equality; The Rest of the World, of the same. If the US didnt have anything to fear (or hide) why would they hunt down the former NSA contractor like he was a common hacker that he is! What is troubling is how the agency that certified Snowden and the company that hired him failed to do the right levels of background verifications and checks and missed the red flags. Assange, if you thought India was the safest place for you. We think you lost your marbles after being on the run for so long. Ditto with Snowden.Ladies, gents or any self-respecting individual will stay the hell out of Bengal as we watch Ms Motormouth run the State (which is already in doldrums) right into the drain. Another 'celebrity' that ran straight into trouble and out of luck was Mush. He came down to rule and ended up with a headlock from hell. One thing's clear- He aint going anywhere, soon.Amazon reached India. And somewhere down the line, American businesses felt we were not playing fair. Gee! They went crying to papa. Maruti shut down their factories, in the face of piling inventories. Touche`.Kalmadi. You gotta give it up to him. Like Poonam Pandhey, he managed to stay relevant too. If only he had a pair of boobs and some cleavage, he would have never ended this way.The Kundras got thrown out of the IPL. Srini complained in the uniquely Indian way that we are known for. India won the Champions trophy and we all forgave the Sins of BCCI.Sreeshanth got bail and lost his wicket. Atleast marriage might straighten the boy out.Ambani promised to pull another rabbit out of his hat. And we got to read more letters from Jiah. Great! Poor Poor Suraj.Pharmas swallowed bitter pills. Mr Singh raked up quite the bill traveling cattle class. While we won't let our childless couples adopt a child, we could let a pedophile adopt one. Women were raped (again) in a moving car. Ringing any bells here, SC? Advani put his foot down and threw a spanner into the spokes. BJP got on their knees and he finally relented.Nature rewrote some of the mistakes we did in Uttarakhand. What's amazing is how our politicians fought for a piece of the pie. It was angelic to see politicians beat each other up with words and (mis)deeds.In all these, they proved that Indian politicians are both gaseous sycophants and rumbling baboons.

Can we learn some lessons from our tragedies and not repeat disasters? Maybe we can all take a lesson from the outgoing emir of Qatar.The Indian economy did the tizzy into the bottomless pit of worries and gold jewelry shops are packing 22 to the dozen. Oh and the government does not want you to watch any more porn either*.The message is clear - We are screwed.We really need to learn to take a hint, when immigration rules tighten, it is time to scrap those plans to go West.In weirdo world, we'll get to taste breast milk-flavored lollipops soon.Passengers traveling the domestic airline GoAir will have more eye candy in the future.Kanye got lampooned as he compared himself to Steve Jobs. Well, I am sure Steve is turning in his iGrave. Gallivanting across Europe after leaving his heavily pregnant wife, Kim took it like a pro. And then gave birth. Good for her.While Delhi got a sea port, Dubai is all set to become the city of architectural wonders as it added another feather to its cap with the Cayan Tower.

In the end, this is true - Obama is not the most powerful man in the world. It is the anonymous (wo)man. It is the men and women who dared- to tell the truth, to do the most unselfish act, to be the change.For all those who think America is the most powerful country in the world, they are looking at the wrong continent all together.China is the new America.*This rule, like many, is not applicable to politicians.