Mark Hanson can no longer afford the $939 monthly lease payment on his silver 650i convertible, but that isn’t stopping the 34-year-old former WMA literary agent from trying to hang onto his most prized possession.

“Let’s just say those bastards have to find ‘Chelsea’ before they can tow her,” said Hanson. “And I’ve got a lot of friends with three- and four-car garages. I’d rather die than give up my baby.”

Hanson, whose actual baby lives with his ex-wife and is draining his savings at an alarming rate, doesn’t regret leasing the car eight months ago, despite the fact it was nearly twice as much as he could afford.

“I was a big-timer,” he said. “I mean, I’m still a big-timer. Look, the point is the BMW is mine. And anyone who thinks he can take it from me has another thing coming.”

Hanson then removed the foreclosure notice from his home’s front door, tore it up and pretended like the whole thing never happened.