Case File: Unlawful Delay of Trial (Dead Egyptians Vs. Osiris)

Police Reports

Case Description: A class-action suit against Osiris alleges that he is holding the souls of dead Egyptians hostage for 70 days while they wait to be judged in his halls.

Case Status: Dismissed. Cosmic law requires that 70 days pass from death to judgment, in order for the star Sirius to rise again and permit the souls to pass into the next world. Sorry, Dead Egyptians. Not even dead people can get through court that quickly. Take a number. You'll get your cases heard in 70 days….