Forum » Topic: Public Response to Ryanair ‘Noose-Class’ is lukewarmhttp://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7711
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Mr Target on "Public Response to Ryanair ‘Noose-Class’ is lukewarm"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7711#post-21083
Sun, 04 Jul 2010 14:44:05 +0000Mr Target21083@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>I've not been here long, so I'm not sure if invoking The Onion is taboo or not, but they had this article on the subject.
</p>Ostsee on "Public Response to Ryanair ‘Noose-Class’ is lukewarm"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7711#post-20966
Sat, 03 Jul 2010 14:59:06 +0000Ostsee20966@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>It does have the advantage of higher packing density. Students will go wild for it.
</p>Hunter F. Thompson on "Public Response to Ryanair ‘Noose-Class’ is lukewarm"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7711#post-20964
Sat, 03 Jul 2010 14:17:49 +0000Hunter F. Thompson20964@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Horizontally? As in the transatlantic slave trade? Some people get air-sick...
</p>Ostsee on "Public Response to Ryanair ‘Noose-Class’ is lukewarm"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7711#post-20900
Sat, 03 Jul 2010 06:54:45 +0000Ostsee20900@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>While the Ryanair's idea of stacking people vertically has some real safety issues, why do they not propose stacking people horizontally? Could be popular.
</p>ArseBiscuit on "Public Response to Ryanair ‘Noose-Class’ is lukewarm"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=7711#post-20860
Fri, 02 Jul 2010 21:56:38 +0000ArseBiscuit20860@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Ryanair’s planned introduction of vertical seating has failed to capture the public’s imagination after it has been revealed that the bargain tickets involve passengers swinging from nooses positioned above the aisle.</p>
<p>The new sales strategy to maximise the aircraft’s passenger capacity is seen by the company as the logical next step in its company mission to create the ultimate soul-destroying flying experience.</p>
<p>The beta testing of the idea centred on capturing the negative experience of the seated customer when expected to endure a two hour flight; the first ten minutes of which involved being randomly kicked in the face by hanging victims struggling for weight support, followed by one hour and fifty minutes of watching the now dead victims sway rhythmically whilst trying to ignore the odour of their moment-of-death self-soiling episode.</p>
<p>A test subject’s comment that the hanged victims were ‘the lucky ones’ is believed to be responsible for the bold marketing step of actually charging customers for occupying the nooses. Whilst bookings for noose class are slow to take off, Ryanair remains confident through years of experience that there is no risk or punishment some Britons will not endure to get to Malaga for under forty quid.</p>
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