Hello and welcome to the first Ask Lindsey. I am under the weather, but I want to talk with you anyway. If you don't have your question answered, it may come later in a whole episode all of its own, or I will give you some resources to get those questions answered by someone who is more capable.
If there was one thing that I wished people knew earlier in life, what would it be? It would be that you can say 'no' and still survive. One of the really cool exercises I do when I work with people is to have them pair up. Okay, person A asks person B if you can touch their shoulder, person B saying no.
So, person A will say, "Can I touch your shoulder?" and person B will say "No," and then we'll swap those. And what happens from this experiences is that they know what it feels like to hear a 'no' and survive. They know what rejection is like and they also know how to give that 'no' and trust that the other person is going to be okay.
Yeah, if there is anything that I could give you to get you through the next coming weeks until I get to all of your questions, it would be if it doesn't feel--really deep down in the core of the beautiful person who is asking me these questions--right, then I am giving you permission to hold off and wait until you have some more information that will allow you to make that decision safely.
I've heard some of you are readers, so I'm going to give you my favorite non-fictional fiction. Fictional non-fiction? It's called Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation by Olivia Judson and I would show it to you, but it's on loan right now. It's an entertaining read where a woman named Dr. Tatiana is a sex columnist responding to different species about how they can resolve their sex and relationship issues.
From the episode on sex shields, I talked about in-condoms that would go inside the person's body. And I talked about out-condoms that would go over the object of insertion. The two of those are not to be used together. This is called "double-bagging," so if you use two out-condoms together, or if you use an out-condom and an in-condom together, there's a friction between those materials that actually lower the effectiveness of them, so please don't do that. Use one.
Many of you are confused about your sexual orientation. That's normal, and natural. I'm going to help you navigate it overtime.
To the question about intials--LGBTIQQAA2--lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, questioning, queer, allies, asexual, and then the number 2 for two-spirit. Many of you have also talked about pansexuality and demisexuality and heteroflexibility. There are a lot of variations to how we all express ourselves, and I look forward to an entire episode on this.
One of you asked what my favorite inanimate object is. My answer is a spoon. Why Lindsey? Because although I absolutely love eating with my hands, I also like soup. What are my things? These are pillows made by a former student. This one has the penis and scrotum. Here is a vulva pillow. Condom with an actual ring-feeling thing on the inside. A golden clitoris. With a hood. Prostate. I have lots of wood sculptures. They're covered in a coating called Lubrosity to keep you safe and prevent splinters. And they can be used to stimulate the inside of a person's body.
This baby doll, which has been taken off my shelf because some people think that it's kind of creepy. If you look up its garment, here, you'll see that this baby doll here has an intact penis. So, not only does it have genitals, which is unusual for baby dolls of our time, it also has a penis with foreskin. I think that it's really important to call this an "intact penis," rather than an uncircumcised penis, which I'll get into later. Got a hole in its head.
Thanks for the questions, the fan art, and the awesome feedback. I really look forward to more of it and if you would like to know what community projects are coming up related to sexuality and Sexplanations, check Tumblr. Thanks, bye!