Steve JobsÂ biological father says he lives in hope that he'll have the opportunity to acquaint with his long-lost son, even if its just for one cup of coffee, but refuses to be the one to reach out to the Apple co-founder.
Â*
The 80-year old Syrian immigrant Abdulfattah John Jandali revealed in an interview with the New York Post, following JobsÂ resignation as CEO of Apple, that he regrets having given his son up for adoption 56 years ago.

Jandali, who was in a relationship with Joanne Simpson at the time, said he wanted to marry JobsÂ biological mother but that her father opposed the marriage on account of his Syrian descent. Simpson had the baby in San Francisco, Âwithout anyone knowing,Â Jandali recollected. "She did not want to bring shame onto the family and thought [the adoption route] was the best for everyone."

Looking back on that decision, Jandali wonders whether Jobs Âis aware of the fact that had it been my choice, I would have loved to have kept him,Â and admitted that his girlfriend also had second doubts about the adoption, especially in the first few months after she granted custody to Mr and Mrs Jobs.

SimpsonÂs father then passed away almost immediately following JobsÂs adoption, which freed her to marry Jandali. They did, and went on to have a daughter, Mona, which was JandaliÂs only other child.

"If we had just held off for a few months, then we would have been able to raise Steve as our own, but sadly, that was not the case," Jandali said. "We often spoke of our son and how we both wished he was with us, especially when Joanne gave birth to Steve's sister, Mona. But nothing to do with Joanne and I was ever meant to be."

Jandali says he only discovered in recent years that his son, whom he never met before, turned out to become Apple's iconic leader. Despite sending Jobs emails on his birthday on several occasions, to this day the two have never spoken. And while Jandali wants to finally meet Jobs, he is waiting for the latter to make the first contact.

Steve Jobs (right) and biological father Abdulfattah John Jandali (left) have never met.

"This might sound strange, though, but I am not prepared, even if either of us was on our deathbeds, to pick up the phone to call him," he said. "Steve will have to do that, as the Syrian pride in me does not want him ever to think I am after his fortune."

"Now I just live in hope that, before it is too late, he will reach out to me, because even to have just one coffee with him just once would make me a very happy man," Jandali added.

As the Post points out, there's a striking resemblance between the two men: Âboth wear rimless glasses, both have grey hair receding in exactly the same place, and both have the same handsome swarthy features.Â But unlike Jobs, who has for the past few years battled health issues believed to have stemmed from his bout with cancer, Âhis octogenarian father is a picture of health.Â

Like Jobs, Jandali is also a successful executive. Despite turning 80, he still occupies a vice president position in a Reno casino and leads a very active life. He reportedly rises at 5 AM each day, goes to the gym and drives in his Jeep to the Boomtown Casino and hotel where he works six days a week.

In an attempt to support his son in some capacity, Jandali, who describes himself as a Âcomputer dunce,Â says he's purchased a Mac computer, iPhone and iPad.

The people that raise you are your parents. But it would be cool if the two met.

in a strange way, jobs should be glad he was adopted, since that allowed him to live near cupertino and meet steve wozniak. If he lived elsewhere he might have never have gone to the same college and met the same people that allowed apple to be created.

Sounds like a pathetic person. It is the father who should reach out to the son and not the other way around.

I also think that people who adopt their babies away are only one step above people who throw their babies in the trash can and they have zero right to ever meet their offspring which they abandoned.

What a hateful, uninformed statement. Giving up a child for adoption is a helluva big distance away from "throw[ing] their babies in the trash can". In fact, it's pretty much the opposite. It's bringing a life into being, but giving that living thing, your own child, to someone else because you know you can't raise it. To me that's a gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, and *selfless* decision.

As the Post points out, there's a striking resemblance between the two men: “both wear rimless glasses, both have grey hair receding in exactly the same place, and both have the same handsome swarthy features...

If not mistaken the genetic inheritance for pattern balding is from Steve's grandfather on his mother's side and not from the father's genes. I know there is some debate about the subject but I believe the scientific consensus still supports this hypothesis.

Grey is usually used as the color of a horse in the USA although it is quite common in Europe to use the spelling grey for people as well. In this case I would have used gray.

Simpsons father then passed away almost immediately following Jobss adoption, which freed her to marry Jandali. They did, and went on to have a daughter, Mona, which was Jandalis only other child..

Mona wrote a book that became a movie. Seems talent doesn't fall far from the tree.

Quote:

"This might sound strange, though, but I am not prepared, even if either of us was on our deathbeds, to pick up the phone to call him," he said. "Steve will have to do that, as the Syrian pride in me does not want him ever to think I am after his fortune."

"Now I just live in hope that, before it is too late, he will reach out to me, because even to have just one coffee with him just once would make me a very happy man," Jandali added.

Sounds passive-aggressive to me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apple ][

I also think that people who adopt their babies away are only one step above people who throw their babies in the trash can and they have zero right to ever meet their offspring which they abandoned.

I don't think that's fair. There are too many circumstances to say that giving up your child is being selfish.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bonklers

in a strange way, jobs should be glad he was adopted, since that allowed him to live near cupertino and meet steve wozniak. If he lived elsewhere he might have never have gone to the same college and met the same people that allowed apple to be created.

I think we're better for it, but is Steve?

Dick Applebaum on whether the iPad is a personal computer: "BTW, I am posting this from my iPad pc while sitting on the throne... personal enough for you?"

In an attempt to support his son in some capacity, Jandali, who describes himself as a computer dunce, says he's purchased a Mac computer, iPhone and iPad.

I found this absolutely hilarious, it's like something right out of the Onion. 'Support his son in some capacity'? You mean the son who was the CEO of the most valuable company on Earth? Yeah, I'm sure he's profusely appreciative of your purchase- you and a few hundred million others. Maybe you could have been more 'supportive' by thinking of getting in touch before your son was on his deathbed dying of cancer.

Sorry buddy you've been living in the US for over half your life, this "syrian culture" excuse doesn't hold water any longer just as the "italian culture" no longer applies to my parents who've been here in Canada since the 50's.
Just pick up the f***ing phone and give the guy a call.

Sounds like a pathetic person. It is the father who should reach out to the son and not the other way around.

I also think that people who adopt their babies away are only one step above people who throw their babies in the trash can and they have zero right to ever meet their offspring which they abandoned.

You obviously know nothing about adoption, and how, it is sometimes the right thing to do for the new born. Once one of the parties has sent out an invitation to meet, it is always for the other to follow through. In this case, he has let his long given up child the knowledge he would like to meet him. If the son so decides, he can take the next step. This only makes sense as perhaps the child has no interest in meeting him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jd_in_sb

The people that raise you are your parents. But it would be cool if the two met.

Sorry buddy you've been living in the US for over half your life, this "syrian culture" excuse doesn't hold water any longer just as the "italian culture" no longer applies to my parents who've been here in Canada since the 50's.
Just pick up the f***ing phone and give the guy a call.

What makes you think he has his phone number? Perhaps that is why he is waiting for Jobs to call him...

What makes you think he has his phone number? Perhaps that is why he is waiting for Jobs to call him...

Just call 1-800-MY-APPLE and stay on the line.............................................. ................... .................................................. .................................................. for a long, long time. It might work.

Sounds like a pathetic person. It is the father who should reach out to the son and not the other way around.

I also think that people who adopt their babies away are only one step above people who throw their babies in the trash can and they have zero right to ever meet their offspring which they abandoned.

The world was a very different place in the 1950's. Steve's (adoptive parents) are sure were thrilled when they got the chance to adopt infant Steve. We have no way of knowing if Steve was raised by his biological parents if he would have been the creator of Apple. What influence and interest he may have pursued and we would literally be living in a different world now. I am not a fatalist but it is fascinating to think about decision we make sometime daily that have an impact on our lives and others.

I am not sure how much of what he's saying is sincere, but my take is that he was more or less forced to give Steve up for adoption. And he fully acknowledges he is not his "dad" (beyond biological), not after his money, and just wants to have a cup of coffee.

Key quotes:

Quote:

"This might sound strange, though, but I am not prepared, even if either of us was on our deathbeds, to pick up the phone to call him... Steve will have to do that, as the Syrian pride in me does not want him ever to think I am after his fortune."

Quote:

"Without telling me, Joanne upped and left to move to San Francisco to have the baby without anyone knowing, including me... She did not want to bring shame onto the family and thought this was the best for everyone... I think after we got back together, Joanne had second thoughts about adoption, but by then, there was nothing we could do about it."

Quote:

Despite having remarried twice, he never had any more children, and believing he had failed with his first two, he simply was not meant to be a dad.

Quote:

"I can't remember exactly what I wrote in [birthday cards]... But I know they were very short and to the point. I would wish him 'Happy Birthday' and continued good health, and sign them with my name, and not 'dad.' "

He did it out of respect for the adoptive parents, he said.

"Because I really am not his dad. Mr. and Mrs. Jobs are, as they raised him. And I don't want to take their place. I just would like to get to know this amazing man I helped in a very small way to produce."

... We have no way of knowing if Steve was raised by his biological parents if he would have been the creator of Apple. What influence and interest he may have pursued and we would literally be living in a different world now. I am not a fatalist but it is fascinating to think about decision we make sometime daily that have an impact on our lives and others.

Interesting episode on nature vs. nurture in the latest Freakonomics podcast. Nature wins in a lot of cases.

It's precisely these things that made Steve who he is today. If he had been a perfectly happy, well-balanced kid he never would have had the drive and desire to make something of himself. "Want" and "lack" are huge drivers of human achievement. I've never met a perfectionist or an achiever that was completely happy.

I must be a precog of some sort because I got a strong feeling about Steve Jobs today with regards his biological father. For some weird reason it came into my head today that Steve Jobs unbelievable motivation actually comes from a deep-seeded need for his biological-father's attention. Call me crazy, but that's what happened and next thing - 8 hours later I'm reading this story. Wow!

I must be a precog of some sort because I got a strong feeling about Steve Jobs today with regards his biological father. For some weird reason it came into my head today that Steve Jobs unbelievable-motivation actually comes from a deep-seeded need for his biological father's attention. Call me crazy, but that's what happened and next this 8 hours later I'm reading this story. Wow!

Why? You seem to lack compassion. Were you adopted? No? Then I suggest your observations are worth what we paid for them.

No, I'm not adopted. As for having compassion, I don't give it to those who don't deserve it. I don't have any compassion for people who abandoned their children. On the other hand, the children of course deserve compassion, as they had no say in the process. The parents, not so much.

It's precisely these things that made Steve who he is today. If he had been a perfectly happy, well-balanced kid he never would have had the drive and desire to make something of himself. "Want" and "lack" are huge drivers of human achievement. I've never met a perfectionist or an achiever that was completely happy.

No, I'm not adopted. As for having compassion, I don't give it to those who don't deserve it. I don't have any compassion for people who abandoned their children. On the other hand, the children of course deserve compassion, as they had no say in the process. The parents, not so much.

Steve would not be Steve unless he had the upbringing he did. The hollowness and sense of being abandoned led him to be the ultra-achiever he became.

I can agree with that. Apple would not have become the Apple that we know today if things had taken a different turn.

His knawing sense of dissatisfaction was to our benefit.

Let this be a lesson to all parents who want nothing more than to give their child everything. Give them nothing, let them struggle and they will make something of themselves. Happiness breeds complacency. Adversity breeds achievement.