Popping & Flopping

Popping this month are the better angels of our nature — those charitable souls amongst us who put their time, effort, and money on the line for a good cause. Specifically, we’re thinking of the dogs who will participate in a burrito-eating contest at Tacorazon on June 16th. Place your bets to help the cause and get a shot at winning some cool prizes. Also wor- thy of recognition are the good people who donated food, clothing, and money to the victims of the Fuego eruption.

FLOPPING

Tis the season for a trip to the clinica

The rainy season showed up in force last month. Two big storms in as many weeks dumped enough water to drown entire neighborhoods in Xela. Readers report that the river spirit from Spirited Away was spotted bubbling up out of a street flooded three feet deep near Parque Bolivar. Calvario got so much water that the dead rose from their graves and went splashing and sliding down the sidewalk like skeletons at Xocomil. Street dogs and cats sheltered from the rain together. Mass hysteria!

The rainy season isn’t all fun and games, of course. Aside from widespread flooding, the rainy season brings sickness. All the shit and nastiness from Xela’s sewers and streets gets lathered on everything and makes everyone sick. Not even your faithful editor is immune — after I write this, I’ll be headed to Xelawho advertiser Clinica La Fe to find out why I’ve been going to bathroom every 20 minutes. Remember to wash your hands thoroughly and stop eating food entirely until the dry season returns.

SIXTH MOONSHOT

The Superchivos tried, at least

Xela’s beloved Superchivos made it to the final in the Liga Nacional this year with the hope of taking home the league title. They played two games against the young bucks from Guastatoya, a team from El Progreso, which a friend of the magazine helpfully described as a town located at the intersection of the Careterra El Salvador and nowhere.

The first game went down here in Xela. Paisaje Enriquez was standing room only. Mario Camposeco was a near-biblical sight, emitting a cloud of red and white firecracker smoke that blazed like the sun under the stadium’s fluorescent lights. Since I’m afraid of other people and loud noises make me nervous, I opted to go in- stead to Smoothies and Rum. It’s one of Xela’s better kept secrets — a leafy and inviting hookah bar tucked behind Puente Chocoyos.

What followed, in predictable Superchi- vos fashion, was two hours of banter, beer, and alternating pulses of ecstasy and too-familiar disappointment. We mocked the patrician lisp of one of the an- nouncers, the names of various players, and the predictably clumsy mistakes from the boys on the Superchivos squad. Periodically, our pirate stream of the game would cut out, at which point we turned to mocking each other and watching viral autohotel commercials on youtube.

The Superchivos scored once and did a good job of keeping Guastatoya on the offensive. Not that good, however; Guastatoya slipped past their defenses to score before the end of the match. The following Sunday, they licked the Superchivos 2-0 in Guatemala City, sealing theluna for themselves.

So it goes. The dream of the sexta luna lives on. Maybe next year, guys.