Month: October 2015

Every day I am at work I get a very intimate view into someone’s life.

The tears welling in another’s eyes always ignite something in me, (empathy, is it called?) and I experience the emotions as well.

Loneliness is a familiar one.

A mom of four sits in a dimly lit room, filled with the stench of stale air, her head hung as she mourns the loss of her previous life and longs for what used to be. I kneel next to her hospital bed, and offer my hand on her lap.

I understand, I pat. Or at least I will.

When it’s my time.

“They brought things from home today.” She points to old pictures on her wall, one an image of her husband’s grave. Her smile, recognizable by her crooked teeth, beams beneath a bridal veil. Four kids all fit in her arms, on her lap.

What was your husband like?

She tells me her most fond memories, laughing at his old jokes.

The joy of her previous life pushes it’s way into her stories, and I realize she misses my life, this time in my life. She recounts her early years of marriage, raising small kids, starting their life on the farm.

Everyone says to enjoy this stage because it goes by so quickly.

I think they are really saying, “I miss it.”

It is a really good time, and I am reminded daily that it slips by until the only way we can experience the same joy again is through the sadness of missing it.

So I have mentioned before that I have been working a lot out in a rural Minnesota town about an hour away. It’s difficult to be far from Seton in case something were to happen, but knowing Davey is so close to her (10 mins), I feel okay about it.

At first, I thought it would only be a week of it, but a week has turned into a month, and a month has now turned into 2 months.

And I love it.

I love the patients (mostly outpatient of all ages!!!) and find myself telling Davey stories at the end of every day the way I used to when we were first married and I was working in Indy. Seriously, it’s awesome.

I also love the drive. I listen to an assortment of podcasts, but really try to make the drive a time for prayer and spiritual enrichment.

I always like Fountains of Carrots but have to admit that the past few haven’t really caught my attention, so I have dipped into the podcast of the Jennifer Fulwiler show. Sometimes I drive really slow so I can finish the podcast before work. And sometimes I pretend like I am just talking on the phone when a person in another car sees me laughing hysterically.

I love it when I can learn more about faith while laughing so hard I cry….by myself.

Alright, so what else has been going on…

Poor Seton got bullied twice in a week, so I momentarily vowed that we will never be leaving the house again. A kid at the playground kicked her off the bottom of the slide. Another kid at the library pushed her down. The saddest part of it all is that in both situations, she thought the kids were running up to her to play with her, so she was really excited…then boom.

If anyone has any tips on how to react to a child who bullies your own, let me know! I scolded the one at the playground because his dad wasn’t doing anything. Then we left because I was scared he was going to do it again.

In other exciting news…

I washed the outside of each window of our house today, and I can’t believe how different it looks! I have only done this one other time in my life. It was the summer of 2007 and my grandma called to ask if I would wash the outside of her windows. Of course I did.

It made her so happy.

So I thought a lot about her today and what a great homemaker she was. In keeping up our home and raising Seton, I feel especially close to her. When I feel a rush of love at witnessing Seton accomplish something, I think to myself, “This is how Grandma felt once.”

The other day I was deleting voicemails which I NEVER do. I noticed I had one from an unknown number and couldn’t think of who it would be.

I clicked it and listened as my Grandma’s cheery voice told me hello and she loved me and missed me. She had called me from her hospital room months ago which is why it was an unknown number.

It’s a strange thing to hear the voice on your phone of someone who has passed away. It’s almost like they are there–having a conversation. I wanted to talk back and say, “Grandma!! Keep talking!! I love you, too!”

I have to think she was somehow motivating me to delete my voicemails so that she could say “Hello” and “I love you” that day.

That was one voicemail I did not delete.

I have to end on a lighter, brighter note!

Here are my clean windows:

AND our new rug {which I love and was so worth the persuasion it took Davey to agree it was a worthwhile purchase}!

What other house chore do I need to do and probably haven’t thought of?!

Davey and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary on September 27. People asked us what we did to celebrate, and I didn’t have just one specific answer. We really celebrated all weekend in the small ways. Sharing waffles together and going on a long walk and going to mass made the perfect anniversary for us.

I thought that I would always say that my wedding day was the happiest day of my life because on September 27, 2013, I couldn’t possibly imagine being happier.

Photo credit Honey and Salt

I’ve been surprised that every subsequent day has brought more joy than the last.