Vikings @ Seahawks. They've dubbed it the Steve Hutchinson Bowl, which might be the lamest and least-exciting name ever given to a game that isn't actually a bowl game (I believe the Poulan Weedeater Bowl still trumps all). But while the name might be goofy, there appears to be something to it: the Sehawks ran for 4.7 yards a carry with Hutchinson last year, and are getting just 3.6 yards per carry this year without him. Also, I wonder if it bothers Matt Hasselbeck that he doesn't have hair, while 53-year-old Brad Johnson does... unless Johnson is the first NFL quarterback to ever wear a toupee under his helmet, which very well could be the case.

Panthers @ Bengals. This is our last hope. It's been a season completely devoid of worthwhile endzone celebrations, and if we don't get one out of this game today, we're not going to get one. Marvin Lewis and John Fox should get together before the game and come to some kind of a gentleman's agreement, where they both agree to give up a touchdown to each other's star wide receiver on their first possessions of the game, and then play it straight the rest of the way.

Denver Broncos @ Cleveland Browns. The Broncos are the better team, but according to Quincy Morgan, the Browns are the bigger poonhounds. The game also marks the return of former Browns defensive linemen Gerard Warren, Kenard Lang, Mike Myers, and Ebenezer Ekuban to Cleveland, where I imagine someone will be curious about why they felt like dragging down the Browns franchise, and then turning Denver into one of the league's best defenses.