UW-Madison Students Hand Out Free Dildos to Protest Second Amendment Speech

John PorterThursday October 5 2017

Cocks Not Glocks demonstration at UT on August 24, 2016

When I woke up to an email from LwC High Command that said “we need you to write about sex toys this morning,” I actually guessed someone was handing out free dildos on campus. And that gun control was some how involved.

Apparently Townhall’s Katie Pavlich is giving a speech about the Second Amendment, and as those meddling kids from College Fix point out, not everyone on campus is orgasmic about it.

Katie Pavlich thinks that you can murder campus sexual assault away. Young Americans for Freedom thinks that her presence on campus is necessary to defend free speech. Therefore, Cocks Not Glocks: UW Madison will be gathering during Pavlich’s speech to create and present dick art that has ZERO literary, artistic, political, educational, or scientific value. You know, for free speech.

Side note, there are an alarming number of Golden Girls .gifs that are tagged with the word “dildo.” An alarming number.

I’m usually really good when it comes to double entendres and euphamisms, but protests like these have grown so dumb, I’m having a hard time mustering so much as a “that’s what she said.” It’s almost like dildos to protest guns are no longer controversial. Or funny. Maybe next time they should protest by flapping lady bug wings, purchased at a children’s Halloween shop.