The Best Overheard Quotes From Gathering of the Juggalos 2014

Another Gathering of the Juggalos has come and gone, and with it thousands of face-painted, fun-loving freaks and misfits to and from the event's first year in Thornville, Ohio. While the move from the deep wilderness of Cave-In-Rock, Illinois, to this year's decidedly more inhabited location did make the experience seem less like being on another planet, there was still an overabundance of hilarious and strange things happening at all times.

Here are the best overheard quotations from the the 2014 edition of the Gathering of the Juggalos.

Nate "Igor" Smith

Mike Busey, in the camouflage vest.

"Do you guys know who I am? I'm an ugly motherfucking piece of shit and I don't give a fuck. And I came here to party."

- Shouted by everyone, all of the time, constantly. Juggalos have really latched onto that meme.

"Y'all wanna talk about politics, or you wanna see people get smashed in the face?"

- Wrestling announcer to crowd chanting down Obama.

"Our sexy little midget you may have seen on Hulk Hogan's Micro Championship Wrestling."

- Uttered by the Guy Fieri of juggalos, Mike Busey.

"I'm fucked up! Praise Jesus!"

- Shouted loudly from the woods.

"There's only one one-legged wrestler in the world."

- Announcer at Juggalo Wrestling Q & A.

Nate "Igor" Smith

"Lick the lint out of somebody's belly button."

"Eat somebody's fingernails."

"Bring me a poop dollar. It don't gotta be your poop; there is poop all over these grounds. Go find some."

[After digging a hole in the mud with his heel and pouring beer into it.] "Chug the mud!"

"You don't gotta whip your dick out, just act like you do and then you and a friend walk up on people."

- All stated by a man named Frog, proprietor of "The Wheel." Frog would ask people if they wanted a beer as they passed by. If they said yes, they would be encouraged to spin the wheel, which lists a multitude of hilarious/disgusting potential outcomes. These are just a few of them. We hear even the police got in on the fun.

Nate "Igor" Smith

"If you got in my face, I'd shoot you right here with the gun in my pocket. You wouldn't even see it coming. And then you know what I'd do? I'd drink a beer. And feel no emotion at all."

- A normal-looking 61-year-old man seated in a lawn chair in the parking lot. It was his seventh year at the Gathering, which he drives his son to and then waits in the lot. He has never once stepped foot inside.

Nate "Igor" Smith

"Stop! Stop!!"

- A police officer chasing a speeding golf cart. He didn't stop.

"I wanted to trip the cop. I mean fuck it; I got bail money."

- Juggalo who witnessed the police chase described above.

More quotations are on the next page.

Nate "Igor" Smith

"I want you to romantically spew milk into her mouth."

- Uttered by World's Most Eligible Bachelor Mike Busey.

"Freedom of the press means I can do whatever I want. Also never pay for anything. Don't tread on me, motherfucker!"