Today was Mother’s Day, and to start my day off I got to sleep in ’till almost 9:00! Heavenly. I was greeted by my sweet husband and baby girl with hugs and kisses.

Forced love is the greatest!!!!

We went over to my mother in law’s house to do some laundry and visit, and then it was off to the Chattanooga Market for a stroll. We enjoyed looking at all of the crafts and items for sale, and smelling all the delicious food (mmm. Kettle corn.). We headed downtown to have lunch at Taco Mac. Nellie enjoyed some soft tortillas, a few french fries and a couple bites of chicken fingers.

By the time we were through, she was exhausted. We went home and as I was carrying her in the house she laid her sleepy little head on my shoulder and gave me a loving pat. I smiled and buried my face in her hair, breathing her in and hugging her close. I grabbed her fox and her paci, took her into her bedroom and enjoyed a few sweet moments rocking with my sleepy baby girl in her cool, dark nursery. With a kiss, I put her down in her crib and tiptoed out of the room.

I closed her door behind me with a smile and went to the bathroom to take care of business. The door was closed and the light was off, so I pushed the door open, turned on the light, and saw that my husband had left me a surprise friend:

SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER

In a fit of glee terror I screamed out “JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!!!”
Like Jesus is going to defend me against a random devil squirrel sitting on my motherfucking toilet. I hear Josh in the other room laughing like fucking Mutley, trying not to be too loud to wake up our daughter who just went to sleep.

He’s sitting beside me right now as I type this, cackling at his hijinks.

This isn’t the first time that my husband has used stuff like this to scare the shit out of me. I’ll tell you all about the pig’s head incident on a later post.

Heart attack aside, my Mother’s Day has been great. The day isn’t over yet, though, so I’m gonna have to keep one eye on my dear husband for the rest of the day. *side eye*