When you start a relationship there is no guarantee that you're going to get on with your new partner's friends, but Beyoncé's making her dislike of Kim Kardashian known from the get-go. Allegedly. Feeling that she isn't good enough for Kanye West, she's planning on keeping her distance from Kim if she joins Kanye and her husband Jay-Z on their UK tour next month. "Beyonce's not happy about Kanye's relationship with Kim. She had a conservative upbringing which was very different to Kim's," said a source type. "Bey's never been impressed by her record with men and the sex tape that leaked a few years ago. Her 72-day marriage doesn't exactly inspire her with confidence that she wants the relationship with Kanye to last either." [The Sun]
Not content with the scripting of her actual, reality TV-driven life, Kim wants to star in her very own sitcom. While this news is likely to be met with a shrug or bitchy smirk, I think she could actually make herself interesting if she were to go really dark with it. Which she of course she won't. [Page Six]

Also giving good quote herself over the weekend and not, you know, just through celebrity whisperers, Beyoncé called bullshit on rumors that Blue Ivy was born to a surrogate. But she's not angry, just mystified, despite her many years in the limelight. "That was crazy. It wasn't hurtful, it was just crazy," she said. "[I thought] ‘Where did they come up with this?'" [People]

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They get paid a shitload for their crappy reality show, but Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom know which side their bread's really buttered on and are pulling the plug on their spin-off show because Odom wants to focus on his failing NBA career. Kris Jenner is conflicted. [Page Six, TMZ]

They would have made for a pretty stellar couple, but Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston are now just partners in the Hall of Hollywood Tragedies – thouh Jackson's former bodyguard said they gave it a crack with a secret affair in 1991. "Whitney practically moved in to Michael's ranch and they had a fling like any other young couple. But Michael said later he had always hoped the relationship had gone further, and I know he dreamed of marrying her," said Matt Fiddes, adding that they met again ten years later. "They were both a mess, to be honest. They shared what would be their final hugs and Michael begged Whitney to get off the drugs that were destroying her life." [Daily Mail]

There's no denying that Charlize Theron is an anatomically perfect human specimen, but try telling her that. The actress concedes that she's pretty hot, but says she could still use a set of doll tits if she's to keep it up. "If I knew that 3D was going to be such a big deal, I would have gotten that boob job ten years ago!" she said. Luckily, she was just joshing. [The Sun]

For those that consider the very concept of a British Monarchy to be outdated and Game Of Thrones-esque, Prince Charles is going to blow your mind with a very important interview. "I don't mind keeping the heating down as long as I can have a hot bath," he said of his thermostat preferences. "Most people think it is too cold. I never hear the end of it. But I am one of those people who has a strange circulation. I think I have inherited it from Queen Victoria who also liked sitting in a draught." God save the queen! [The Telegraph]

Comedian and sometime President Barack Obama got some giggles from the crowd at the White House Correspondents' Dinner with some pretty great material. [Politico]

He's been gyrating plenty lately, so Channing Tatum's wife got him some dirty dancers of his very own for his 32nd birthday. [Page Six]

Katy Perry sold her Tribeca home. She barely even lived in the place, so the new owners won't have to pull chunks of blue hair out of the shower drains. [Page Six]

Totally underrated Australian actress Melissa George has moved on from Russell Simmons and into the arms of a sexy Frenchie Jean-David Blanc. [Page Six]

Vying for the spot of understatement of the year, Mel Gibson tells Jay Leno he's got "a little bit of a temper." [NYDN]

Taylor Swift and Diana Agron keep flaunting their adorably normal lives on Instagram – this time it's the latter throwing the former a circus-themed birthday bash. [E!]

Five Year Engagement is tanking at the box office, probably on account of Jason Segel's nude scene getting cut. [Us]

He's said some offensive things about the gays – and I'd be interested in his take on abortion while we're at it – but Mark Wahlberg looks good in nothing but an apron. [TMZ]

Part of me can't wait to see what Chloë Sevigny's bedroom looks like, the actress giving New York a peek. [People]

I rarely write about the terribly professional plastic surgeon, reality "star" and mesh-top fanatic Dr. Robert Rey. But after rocking up to a surgery convention in pleather pants and waving around his penile implants he certainly deserves a mention. [Radar]

Radar are really bringing it today, sinking even further into dark and sexy depths by comparing Taylor Armstrong to the Duchess of Alba. [Radar]

Chris Brown attempts to draw our attention away from his new role as an amateur dog breeder by posting photos of himself with adorable puppies. Well played. [Daily Mail]