While this year’s Miss America winner, Miss Georgia, is sure that Tom Brady cheated in Deflategate but wanted to feel the ball to confirm, the other contestants got some topical political questions. Sadly, not one was asked what her perfect date would be.

This year had video introductions from the contestants, which led to this universally panned moment from Miss Wisconsin.

In the “we’re sorry for making you resign for explicit photos in Penthouse” moment, even though this is a pageant where we grade you on how you look in a swimsuit,” CEO Sam Haskell apologized to Vanessa Williams, the first African-American Miss America.

“On behalf of today’s organization, I want to apologize to you and to your mother, Miss Helen Williams,” Haskell said. “I want to apologize for anything that was said or done that made you feel any less the Miss America that you are and the Miss America that you always will be.”

Good stuff, until she goes full bore for Jeb Bush and Chris Christie. At least we can be grateful she didn’t mention John Kasich. It’s an interesting moment for interviewer Taya Kyle. One wonders how she must be feeling as a Rick Perry supporter, considering Perry had just dropped out of the race.

Humorously enough, the Miss America Twitter feed used this part of the quote to frame Miss Alabama’s statement as a bit softer on the Donald.

Three Miss America Misses

In the most obvious pitch ever to get on “The Ellen Show,” Miss Colorado pitched Ellen DeGeneres as a suitable candidate to replace Andrew Hamilton, our first secretary of the Treasury, on the ten-dollar bill. Well done, Colorado. It’s 4:20 somewhere, right?

This same Ellen just endorsed Hillary Clinton on her show after Hillary hawked Ellen’s clothing line in her Twitter feed and attempted to whip and nae nae on Ellen’s show. Yes that Ellen, on the ten-dollar bill, stat!

In the “there is no right way to answer this freaking question” category, Miss Louisiana punts when asked if Black Lives Matter should be called All Lives Matter, and invents a new broad category of Everybody’s Lives Matter, which is the same as saying all lives matter but different, or something.

I can’t really blame her, but her box-check of black lives matter, all lives matter, everybody’s lives matter will likely be seen as on the spectrum of bland pap to outrageous to the social-justice crowd.

In the biggest miss of the night, Miss Tennessee demonstrates her blind allegiance to the idea the “female care” is a unique problem that only government money and Planned Parenthood can solve: “I don’t think Planned Parenthood funding should be cut off. The $500 million that gets given to Planned Parenthood every single year goes to female…care. It goes for scanning for cancers, it goes for mammograms…and if we don’t give that funding to Planned Parenthood, those women will be out of healthcare for reproductive causes.”

Planned Parenthood doesn’t provide mammograms, and there are plenty of other places to get a pap smear.

If we take her home state of Tennessee, women will somehow manage at the 267 other clinics that provide care, compared to the four Planned Parenthood locations.
This ill-informed answer to justify an organization currently under fire for its questionable practices regarding patient care and potential profits from selling the organs from aborted babies was enough for some to think Miss Tennessee should win it all.

Amy Otto’s work has also been published at Townhall, Pocket Full of Liberty, and the UK site The Conservative Woman. She has co-hosted The Wrap and Splintered Caucus, weekly podcasts that covered culture and politics. Follow her on Twitter, @AmyOtto8.