Tellin’ it like it is

As I’ve mentioned before on this site, it’s seems less than likely that any of us ’80s babies will ever ascend to the level of a Diddy or a Russell Simmons in terms of wealth. The oldest of us are already into our late ’20s, and what do we have to show for it? I can afford to drink and eat fast food every night of the week, which is definitely fulfilling on a certain level, but only if I live a roommate.

Indeed it’s probably time for the vast majority of us to re-evaluate our expectations. Times are only going to get that much more difficult for the forseeable future. But as Dr. Robert H. Schuller once said, tough times don’t last, but tough people do. In the meantime, here’s a list of suggestions I put together to help my fellow ’80s babies turn a negative situation into a slightly less negative one.

Learn to love Busch Light. Here’s the thing about cheap beer: if you go and drink some “expensive” shit for a week, because it was pay day or something, and then go back to drinking the cheap shit, you could end up with a really fucked up hanger like the one I’ve got right now. The key then is to avoid the temptation to drink $20 a case beer and just stick with the $15 a case shit. Your wallet as well as your brain will thank you in the long run.

Stop paying for bitches. Not to suggest that women are only out for a man’s money, but if you ever want to do the nasty with a woman – hooker or otherwise – you’re probably going to end up opening your wallet at some point. That said, keep that bad boy closed as often as possible. Especially if the chick’s not that attractive anyway. A lot of women make more money than men these days anyway; why give them the double satisfaction of spending what little money you do have on them?

(It might be different for gay guys, but I don’t approve of any gay guys reading my writing anyway. Go away!)

We want pre-nup! Let’s say you do luck out and find a woman with a job and a full set of teeth and a killer rack, or whatever it is you’d require in a woman in order to consider marriage. Resist any and all temptation to sign on the dotted line without have some sort of arrangement in place. Even if the broad makes way more money than you, she still still might find some way to take a big bite out of your check (which you’d obviously need at that point) if the two of you ever call it quits. That’s just how it works in this country.

Think twice about reproducing. Obviously the ideal situation would be to find a broad with a good job (plus a full set of teeth and a killer rack, natch) who has no intention of producing any offspring. Kids cost an insane amount of money to raise and will probably only grow up to hate you anyway. Tip: if your s.o. occasionally gets the urge to have kids of her own, take her over to someone else’s house and let her play with their kids for a day or so.

Fuck looking cute. Here’s an interesting fact for those of you with less than fortunate upbringings: People who actually have the money to buy a $100 pair of shoes don’t even wear $100. You can get a perfectly decent pair of shoes (in many cases the same shit, just a year older) for like one-fifth that amount. The same thing goes for clothes. You can cop a slightly irregular Polo shirt from Marshall’s (Rey’s favorite store) for a fraction of what that shit costs at the mall. Whatever you do, don’t buy clothes from any brands associated with a famous rapper. That’s just silly.

BONUS!
1-866-347-2423. This is the phone number for Immigrations and Customs Enforcement a/k/a INS La Migra (for the Spanish speaking individuals among us). If you see your neighborhood becoming overrun by illegal immigrants, fucking call La Migra on their asses. It’s hard enough to make a living these days without wages being undercut here at home as well as jobs being sent overseas thanks to so-called free trade. Why deal with at all if you don’t have to?

Damn REy got it again lmao. Ethered REy when you gonna say something back to Bol?

answerD

lol. u the dumbest nigga in the world!

SUPERMAN

YOU THINK BOL WEARS K-MART BRANDED CLOTHES?

soopadoopa

Killer Rack… Thats funny. co-sign on the babies, I love my daughter but since she came along I have no money for anything. FUCKIN PAMPERS!!!!

100

The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

Bol Bol Bol

You really amazed me with this post…im proud of you…everone give Bol a hand…

as far as beer, I goota have Corona…i throw in millers and budwisers when my money gets funny

as far as treating these tricks, i talk them out of going out to spend money, i tell em lets chill and watch tv(they dont care but they will find a sucker to take them out to the expensive restraunts and what have you)…dont be that guy

as far as pre-nup im a mack…she wont fix her mouth to say i want a cut

as far as kids…i want some but i want my money right first…priorities and condoms

and as far as looking cute for a pretty penny…i shop at the Burlington Coat Factories of retail…the minor flaws you dont even notice…and when it comes to the major stores, i only buy what is on sale and what they are basically selling at cost(economics101) so they can clear inventory

as far as the invasion…i have no problem with it the earth is here for us all…when competion comes just step your game up

PREACH…TABERNACLE…

OH BOY!!!

http://www.myspace.com/deensekou sATaLyte

Yeah Busch is orrible. High Life is bout the best cheap beer you can buy.

Yeah and clothes prices got me diving in the bargain bins and ish like a hoe(no homo though), but if you’re wise you better be hittin a sales rack.

I wonder if anybody’s gonna co-sign that paying for bitches though?

e

It might be different for gay guys, but I don’t approve of any gay guys reading my writing anyway. Go away!
^^^^^
LMAO this was one of your gulliest posts. Rey stop letting Bol ether you!

Nay Nimley

Dope as usual.Ummm remeber tha Cassie situation, did you notice she was playing with the mic stand, but it had no mic . . . I think you were right once again. Bol you should do one of those Sickamore 30 for 30 joints, he kinda sucked at this.

Hannah Smith

Why are you wasting your talent writing for what’s now become rap’s most moronic rag?

You’re better than the cast up in XXL’s diamond-encrusted towers.

Move on, plucky soldier! The world is yours to seize like a gym-toned rump!

e

I hope ur unborn seed marries a mexican!
^^^^
That would mean Bol would have to have intercourse with a woman(not likely)

You gotta open your wallets for the bithces and look good it pays off.(getting laid)

Hannah Smith

“You gotta open your wallets for the bithces and look good it pays off”

Are you 12?

e

Are you 12?

^^^^
NO

INTERSCOPE JACKSON

It might be different for gay guys, but I don’t approve of any gay guys reading my writing anyway. Go away!)

^^^ this line is instant classic..hilarious shit
if your a Gay guy you got Ether’d

muahahahahahahahaha

e

Just very shallow

The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

Hannah Smith Says:

October 6th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
“You gotta open your wallets for the bithces and look good it pays off”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
not really dude…all you gotta do is stay fresh to death…women admire that

THAT_BOY_NOAH

HAHA FUNNY ASS POST BOL.

THAT_BOY_NOAH

I LIKE NATURAL LIGHT THOUGH.

http://www.myspace.com/bookwormbrown bookworm brown

INS is 150+ years too late…pale-face done overran this bitch.

DJ Lucky Luke

*Rey takes another shot to the ribs*

“Ouch,” says DJ Lucky Luke.

Incilin

“Kids cost an insane amount of money to raise and will probably only grow up to hate you anyway.”
LMAO. But I don’t really think that’s true.

Jeff Sellers, the failure, the f@&&ot, the sellout.

Yo, my tips for all the young wanna-be macks trying to make a come-up:

You may be a grown man in da basement living off cheap beer and takeaways but you slayin’ em with that blog.

props.

http://www.myspace.com/angelsometimes Cthulhu

I dunno…usually it doesn’t matter much to me if the guy shops at Ross or AX, if he’s not hot he’s not gonna look good either way. Being hot is kind of good for your budget because you can wear cheap shit and it won’t matter. Being hot should have been one of your tips Bol.

Brilliant Bol, Nigga your back and got that swag, f*ck all that Lupe beef, lets get to the issues at hand, Illegals, brokeness, bitches all of the important stuff

The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

@ Cthulhu

we dont use “hot” in the hip hop realm…but you made your point…i get my erykah badu on all day

Combat Jack

Good shite dude. Keep bombing.

SONNY CHEEBA

good read, the immegration part KILLED me…

@ thebestout, that shit was HILARIOUS!!!

why’s Rey type “shook ones pt2″???

http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

The lack of comments has actually forced you to get back to Ethering me, huh? Kinda desperate, even for you. In any event, Marshalls is cheap, and they carry name brands. I don’t see how that’s ether seeing as how I mention that place on my own in this here comments section. Anyway, have fun taking shots at me for the next 150 comments. UNO! PS–Yes, the shirt in that infamous myspace picture was from Marshalls, you fuckin’ queers.

e

Keep ya head up Rey(no homo)

http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

Way to be Mark Wahlberg In ‘Fear’, Bol. I’m not The Transient, NO MEANS NO!

thoreauly77

sheeit bol, i dont know how you can take shots at marshalls when you take the freeway to your job at k-mart in your minivan that your mom sold you every morning; and perhaps youre upset with the mexicans because youre the only black man in said k-mart, surrounded by them. in addition, it doesnt matter if you open up that wallet to pay for the bitches if youre a swiss cheese smelling lumpy corn shit looking masturbating to reys picture cum-sponge soaking ass boner slurper; chicks can smell the semen on your breath from a mile away.

truth?

truth!

thoreauly77

and yeah and co-sign sushi k– its all about the pbr’s.

Eastside Bread Maker

First off. If you hve to pay money for bitches you aint shit. And you definitely did not hone your game and fucking skills in high school when girls was giving out pussy for free.

Second, if you aint fresh to death whenever you step out of your house, it better be because its laundry day. And fresh doesnt mean expensive, name brand clothing, it just means that you gotta match motherfuckers!!!

Third, if there is any guy in here who feels that they dont need to get a pre-nup before getting married, you’re a dick. Women have the patience of an elephant, They will wait ya ass out for 10, 20 , 30 years if they have to, but when they get that cut, you know they will all be in the islands somewhere trying to get their groove back.

And finally, If you drinking cheap ass beer just to get drunk, you’re a fucking loser. Drink hard liquor to get drink, and beer to get a buzz!

Eastside Bread Maker

*drink hard liquor to get drunk*

Lennox

Rey, why don’t you sell brest milk on e-bay? you’ve got way more to feed a family in the motherland than say those shitty ass goats they be tryin to make us buy for families at christmas, c’mon Rey give back….

Lennox

*Breast

110 street

yo! The mexican hot line that shit was dumb funny i deal with them all day on the east side Spanish Harlem, but none the less good post b. Harlemm..

P

I thought I’d seen it all with this guy and then he goes off straight up PROMOTING SNITCHING
I knew he was racist but damn

Air-Gar

Bol u racist bitch

Yo

lmao

http://www.myspace.com/angelsometimes Cthulhu

You just ethered the fuck out of Bol, Thoreauly. I mean damn.

sandino

Byron is back!(no fonzworth bentley) Nice post, I was just about to stop replying son, good shit.

Sushi K

Contrary to popular belief, you CAN get drunk on beer. That’s right bitches, in style. Malt Liquor – any variety – how about STEEL RESERVE? Eh? That will floorya.

WARNING: If you drink a case of watery beer a night, you WILL look like Bol within 6 months.

http://sexy-results.blogspot.com Ian

Dude…stick with Cisco. That shit will fuck you up big time and only run you a couple of beans. That said, you gotta go in some shady areas in order to find a place that carries it and you’d be well-advised to clear your schedule for the next day.

The ironic thing about Marshall’s is that they carry all kinds of outdated rapper-approved clothing. Back when my brother worked there during high school, they had Cross Colours and a couple years later, they had Wu Wear and that clothing line OutKast started.

icee corleon

nice post i also shop at burlington coat factory and be stuntin at work on these clowns who think i bought those marc echo cut and sew slacks for 93.00 when i only had to pay like 34.95 ha ha ha and i be getting some nice stuff out that joint to polos,perry ellis, and rocawear and that stuff be under 50 bucks. why go to tha mall and pay some dumb price for a pair of jeans.

LONZO

I really don’t get why Bol’s fat obese, ugly, monkey, midnight colored, ignorant, racist, faggit, talentless, retard lookin, cum drinkin, stupid ass is giving advice to any one.! Really we should be givin him advice. So here it goes…
Fat obese fagg, go to a fukin gym and run on a fukin treadmill till u passout, u fukin waste of space. No one will notice ur on the floor because ur fat and meaningless, so just pray that on ur next life, ur not a fukin obese dark, 4 eyed talentless BITCH!

ONE.

Drastik Hussain (Dionysus repper)

Good post until that INS shit. Fuck is wrong with you?

Omar

It might be different for gay guys, but I don’t approve of any gay guys reading my writing anyway. Go away!)

U niggas is trippin’, fuck Marshall’s and Burlington, I got a fire booster connect. Ol’ boy hit it on the nose when he said keep your hair cut regularly, keep the whip and crib clean and stay fresh. U damn near don’t even have 2 talk if u do those things. Aw yeah, get a nice chain and rock white Ts all summer and switch up between black and white thermals in the winter. Cop about 5 pair of Prada sneakers and some exclusive Js and that will keep her, her friends and her little brother(no 9th Wonder) on your team. Get a booster idiots. They will get u 50% off every rip and u can get the things you actually want. All you Marshall’s and Burlington niggas just making me look that much more fly out in these streets…

http://yahoo.com PRINCE CEASAR

That shit was funny as hell, but true. I can’t front this nigga lame ass nigga Bol is speaking some real shit again. Keep it coming 1

I’amaTRick

shit……i pay for pussy every week…..either on cleveland ave or at the titty bar……make sure you strap up ya dig…..or you’ll see redrum

Tiz The Trick

i pay for pussy……..and proud of it….in tha “A”…….you can cop some nice, young cuties on cleveland ave……or just go to the local titty bar…..ballllliiin!!!!!

H-Man

AZtekz run tha universe

che

bol sucks ass (no typo).

spanish jay

Why deal with at all if you don’t have to?
###
when did snitchin become come cool?
the white man has you such in a daze that you dont know whats what

split labor market?
stratification?

spanish jay

1st post/ last post

Traynine

74 till the world blow GD folks traynine

Frisco

You dumbass. So I guess you’re pretty upset that your job out in the fields picking vegetables is taken. Or is that dishwasher job that you’ve always dreamed of? Oh wait, I’m sure it’s the Burger King fry cook position that really has you pissed off?? You should go blog for the Christian Coalition where you belong…

http://www.myspace.com/angelsometimes Cthulhu

Tricks are nasty.

Spark

Hola hovito, Bol Good 1 . just b you mane fuck all the rest

Mero

last time i checked, mexicans weren’t working any goods jobs-

if you’re pissed b/c jorge took that janitor job at the school, maybe you need to step you game up and put yourself in a position where some mexican can’t come take your job…

i pay for pussy……..and proud of it….in tha “A”…….you can cop some nice, young cuties on cleveland ave……or just go to the local titty bar…..ballllliiin!!!!!

^

Halfway co-sign that brah, I used to live on Cleveland Ave, and unless you mess with those hoes that be out when the clubs close around 4 a.m. in the morning, which are waay to fucking high, then you are messing with crackhoes.

To each his own.

http://www.myspace.com/angelsometimes Cthulhu

To each his own indeed.

gutta

wow! u got the immigration number?? lol,u crazy for that one. hopefully anyone with some ambition will not have to use than number. funny post though

ToneLoc_illa

How is it that everyone is on this bull shit about Mexicans takin black people’s jobs. Shit, last i knew, ya’ll didn’t start this topic up until all the politicians started talkin’. Ya’ll some pawns. Bol is a fool, postin that 1-800 number, cuz you know some lame is gone call and report someone that ain’t even illegal. Quit hatin’, just cuz some people have more drive to provide for their family, doesn’t mean you have to blame them for your shortcomings. The government is trying to systematically divide us minorities so that we don’t join up and make these white devil politicians pay for what they have done and keep doin’ to this day. I thougt you were smarter than that Bol. You ignorant ass dude.

ToneLoc_illa

Hip Hop is on some hatin’ latetly. I heard T.I. sayin he thinks they should deport all the illegal immigrants because they got here illegaly. I lost all respect of that little bitch afta that. How’s he gone rap about slangin’ (which is obviously illegal) and knock immigrants on their hustle (workin wherever to make ends meet). They just tryin’ to eat like you. I guess hip hop is goin’ in a whole new direction of hate. Punk pussies sound like some hoes. Fuck ‘em all.

B
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420PURP

FUCK BOL!!!!

Fernando

Its just stupid to let a bunch of illegal fucks in here in the first place. Weve already let enough in to keep the berry picking industry going for generations. With that said, its not like they are taking jobs that most of us would want anyways, so stop bitchin.

Bol, thats a cold move to post that number..lol.
Your relations advice is very “iceberg slim” esque. I didnt think a fat, bull-weavel lookin piece of shit like yourself had any game whatsoever (which I still dont think you do since you referenced using prostitutes to get your rock soft). Like that boy Messy Marv says..”KEEP IT ALL ON A BITCH!!”

Enlightened

This is funny. BOL THIS SHOWS WHAT TYPE OF DUDE YOU REALLY ARE. Black people don’t use the word “RACK” to describe titties!

the one

This nigga BOL Is crazy…HAHAHAHAHA,Funny post I must say…

Babyboy

I’m bck, u got that 1 right bol i co-sing u in all that shit special about spendin money in girls man, imagine my fuckin situation, i got 2 ” so called Girlfriends” and a bitch, those Hos cost me a lot, especially, my official gfirlfriend, she wants cinema all the time, ask my to take her 2 a hotel, ( i dont leave on my own, at least not yet, neither does her) so or time 2 fck is very limited, Quikies, beers fck it i dont drink, gotta keep focus, drugs, i dont take em, i supply em, but bitches r turnin me crazy man, good post fat bastard

RJ

Hahahahahaha that is bouncing back Bol. Props. But you got ETHERED HARD by Thor.

alleyeCNtower

I smell style biting. This wasn’t inspired by him, it was swagger jacked by a writer much better than him. First hint: it’s not a male blogger.
whatever, man. do you, dun.
just don’t expect to fool ME!
ha ha

You fucked it up with the INS. Otherwise, funny as the future of G-Unit.

Tiz The Trick

first of all ”satalyte”….i only cop 8′s or better on the hoe stroll….”when i go to the ave….. i see plenty of good looking young chicks…..non crackheads…….and for you ”cthulhu”…you must be a female….one up

http://www.myspace.com/deensekou sATaLyte

Man I can’t even do it playa, fine as hell though they are, over on metropolitan or wherever, all i can picture is flies and shit buzzing around those vaginas and ooze from where ten niggas done been there already.

I take that fifty(or more?) or whatever they charging, take a clean hoe for a nice meal, politick, or whatever.

http://myspace.com/gunitsoldier50xl Ether

1-866-347-2423, So That’s Who’s Been Calling Me Lately…..

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