In her one-woman show Doña Rosita's Jalapeño Kitchen, Ruby Nelda Perez rules her realm of pots and pans with an iron will and a big bowl of laughs, all while musing over whether or not to sell out, leave her business behind and let greedy developers change the face of her neighborhood forever. The show is a rite of passage that Perez's most faithful fans will see again and again, because she's not just an actor on stage -- she's one of them.

In advance of the show's return this weekend to Su Teatro at the Denver Civic Theatre, we asked Perez to share some of Doña Rosita's Chicana witticisms as an appetizer.

1. "Go ahead. Marry him. Have your 2.4 kids!!!"
2. "How do you like your coffee? Con leche, bien caliente, asina like your mama use to make it? Hey!! Do I look like your mom? Go home and make it yourself!!!"
3. "Everybody has a purpose in life. Panfila was put on this earth to complain."
4. "She stopped going to Our Lady of Guadalupe Church, and now she goes to St. Mary's Star of the Sea. Jesus looks like a surfer."
5. ".....and there we were, in her gringo apartment, about to deliver another screaming Mexicano!"

Continue reading for more words of wisdom from Doña Rosita.

6. "El perro que ladra, no muerde." ("The dog who barks, does not bite").
7. "Eminent domain? Que no que, we're a capitalist country? Que we have the right to pursue property and talk about our neighbors?"
8. "Have you ever tried to heat tortillas on an electric stove? They come out like frisbees!!!!"
9. "He wants to take my barrio, and eat my enchiladas too!!??"

Bring your amigas and see Doña Rosita's Jalapeño Kitchen at the Civic at 7: 30 p.m. on November 14, November 15 or November 16, or 2 p.m. November 17; for tickets, $17 to $20, visit Su Teatro online or call 303-296-0219.