Hello, Muddah. Hello, Fadduh.
Greetings from Camp
Metal Slaughter.
Riffs are good here.
Swarm of Eyes is better.
My face is melted off
So I’m having trouble writing this damn letter.

Yes, Swarmies. Another summer has officially come to an end. While you were barbecuing, putting firecrackers in your mouth, or stealing your ex-girlfriend’s brush from her purse and making little dolls out of her hair at camp, the Swarm of Eyes guys were hard at work, making the world a more metal place, both separately and together.

So how did the lovable lads spend their summer vacation? So glad you asked!

I Know What Swarm of Eyes Did This Summer: Nothing

Much to the chagrin of rabid fans, Swarm of Eyes played very few gigs after Memorial Day. However, the band emerged from their summer hibernation to play a scintillating live gig at the Spotlight Tavern in Beverly, Massachusetts. The band dusted off some classics, threw out a new track (“Tell Your God to Ready for Blood”), and played a few covers alongside their chums, KATET and Misfits cover band 138. A good time was had by all.

Okay, okay! We were kidding! The Eyes Guys Did Plenty!

Although Swarm of Eyes, as a collective, laid low this summer. The boys were busy with other projects.

George and Randy returned to the studio to cut a new track, “SULRIC,” for mobile game Rival Kingdoms. The song is an ode to one of the characters in the game who represents the element of the fire. And everyone knows fire is the baddest ass element of all cuz it burns stuff. If you haven’t heard it yet, you should check it out. SULRIC, above all!

George has been making his rounds on the Comic Con circuit up and down the East Coast, promoting his latest comic book collaboration with artist Griffin Ess, Baby, a quaint little tale about a cryptozoologist, a soon-to-be-retired cop, and a monster from the deep who meet up at the Jersey Shore. Check out the duo’s indie comic imprint, Homeless Comics to find out when they’ll be popping up at a Con near you!

Derrik went back to his roots. No, he didn’t decide to go all Sean Connery in Zardoz and grow a luxurious pelt of hair (or walk around in a red mankini like Sean, either). Instead, Derrik returned to the Boston Typewriter Orchestra to resume his career trajectory as a trained concert typist. In between typing for the BTO and practicing guitar for SOE, he managed to squeeze in a road trip, and shill his mother’s awesome homemade fudge. (Yes. She has a website. Get your holiday shopping done early, kids!)

Jeff managed to pry his fingers from his lighted fretboard long enough to sit ringside at a live WWE event at the Boston Garden. Rumor has it that WWE superstar Starust wanted to feud with Jeff at Summer Slam, but WWE top brass insisted that he face that random dude from Arrow instead, fearing that Jeff just might be too good. Additionally, Jeff also found time to endorse Massachusetts speaker cabinet craftsmen, Black Market Customs — part of the power behind his sound.

Tommy, that master of disguise, was off doing secret agent stuff. After completing a secret mission (which may or may not have involved convincing Judge Richard Berman that New England Patriots quarterback / dreamboat Tom Brady was not guilty of playing with deflated balls — and may or may not have involved raising an inglorious stink that Tom Terrific was not drawn to his full, hunky potential by a court artist in a furtive and secretive manner amongst the media), Tommy changed up his look and donated nearly a foot of hair to Pantene’s Beautiful Lenghts / Cuts for a Cause which ensures children and adults with cancer receive free wigs. Hats off to Tommy and his new, charity-inspired ‘do!

Stay tuned to see what the Eyes guys are up to this fall! Hang onto your infinity scarves and pumpkin spice lattes, because there’s a good possibility Swarm of Eyes will be heading to an East Coast city near you with an upcoming mini tour in October. More details to come. Hope your summer was as metal as ours!