No Chance – Way Too Early Predictions for WrestleMania 29

A few weeks ago I revealed my year old predictions for WrestleMania 28. And now it is time to do the same thing for the next WrestleMania. Only this time I’m not doing it alone. Fellow column writers, Rhett Davis and Chris Sanders have both offered to join me in the task of attempting to predict the WrestleMania 29 card a year in advance. So without further ado, three different cards that we might be looking at one year from now.

Rhett Picks:

The rumor mill is swirling right now that next year’s WrestleMania is going to consist of Rock/Brock, Cena/Taker, and Austin/Punk. I disagree with most of these matches for different reasons. This year’s WrestleMania saw Cena carrying Rock for the most part. So why would you want to put Rock in there with Brock? Two guys who don’t wrestle every week and don’t quit have the cardio that the current roster does. Plus it would do nothing to benefit the current roster. And I would hate to see Taker come back for another show despite Cena really being the only adversary worth The Undertaker’s time left. (Sting a few years ago but they missed that boat) This year’s Taker/HHH match seemed like the most accurate ending possible for The Streak. And if Cena couldn’t beat Rock, why would we think he could beat Taker? At Mania? Anyways, on to my match choices.

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena
Yes it would have to drug out a whole year, but imagine if Brock kept blowing off Cena stating he wasn’t worth his time since he took him out with one move on his first night back. And since Brock will only be around two shows per month, he can avoid Cena easier until Cena finally does something to piss him off. Oh, I don’t know… cost him a WWE title match? That’d do it. As for the match, Cena would probably lie down again considering he did it for Rock. I mean we might as well let everyone from yesteryear come back and destroy Cena.

WWE Championship The Rock (c) vs. The Miz
The Rock helped The Miz defeat John Cena at WrestleMania 27 but everyone claimed that Miz was overshadowed by Rocky and Cena. All it would take is Rock winning the WWE title and Miz taking out his frustrations on him for ‘stealing his spotlight.’ It has history, it gives Rock the title at the grandest stage, and FINALLY the Great One can give back to this current roster allowing Miz to continue his WrestleMania Undefeated Streak. (Yes he has one) And it gives Miz something to rub in Cena’s face.

World Championship Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett vs. Big Show
So Daniel Bryan wants revenge on Sheamus for ‘stealing’ his World Title so he spends the rest of the year defeating everyone brutally in a means to earn his way back to the top. Wade Barrett would have just won the Royal Rumble. Big Show would have lost the title at Elimination Chamber to Sheamus, therefore having a rematch clause. Daniel Bryan would end up doing something dastardly to Sheamus in order to enrage him into giving him another chance. (Say put Sheamus’s sister in a LaBell Lock while Sheamus is handcuffed or whatever) Wade Barrett wins.

Steve Austin vs. CM Punk
This match actually looks feasible considering if Austin is truly coming back. Perfect set-up too. Austin likes beer and likes giving everyone beer in celebrations; Punk hates beer and thinks it’s for weak-minded. Punk would probably have to go heel for this match, but the pay-off would be worth it. Honestly, this could very easily go either way, but I think Punk will prevail as Austin generally does what’s right for business.

Rey Mysterio vs. Sin Cara
We were rumored to have this match this year, but injuries/no build-up deprived us of this. They could easily set this up for next year. This is, of course, if Sin Cara is even with the business at that time. This could also go either way, but I’ll say Sin Cara wins it if this match happens.

Tag Team Championship: Santino/Clay vs. Kane/Tensai
This is one of those, some young guys need a place to play without being bogged down in a 10-man tag. I would pick Brodus/Santino to win as it just needs some faces to win and Kane could afford a loss without much damage.

Randy Orton vs. Del Rio
Filler. I didn’t have a place for either of these men and it’s unlikely they would be left off the card unless one or the other was injured. This could also go either way, but the feel would be similar to Kane/Orton from this year. Del Rio wins due to some trickery involving Ricardo.

Intercontinental Championship: Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Jack Swagger vs. Christian vs. Zack Ryder vs. Ryback
Hey you used to have the Money in the Bank and then you had the extremely large tag team matches. So instead of that for this year, we have a big time limit match similar to WrestleMania 2000. Ryder comes up the winner so he can finally have his WrestleMania moment.

Divas Championship Beth Phoenix vs. Kharma
C’mon, this is literally one of the only two possible matches for Beth that anyone cares to see, the other being Natalya. I say have Kharma come back after SummerSlam sometime and they both destroy the Divas division on their respective brands and perhaps having a few face-offs until after Royal Rumble. Kharma should win though.

United States Championship: R-Truth (c) vs. Jinder Mahal
Dark Match. Truth goes over and dances while the lumberjacks jig.

Chris Picks:

Brock vs. Rock
I don’t want to believe that Cena is going to be held up another year to wait around for a WM match (or at least I hope so). Brock can feud with Cena the early parts of this year and Rock can come back at SummerSlam or Survivor Series to go for the belt and just as he’s about to pin the current champ, Brock comes out and interrupts and there we have it.

Cena vs. Undertaker
File this one under “something I don’t want to happen” due to the fact that I’m one of those schmucks that thought the ending to Taker/HHH III was perfect and should stay that way. That being said, nobody in the company knows when to leave “well enough” alone and there’s no one else in the company that fits in this spot other than Cena.

CM Punk (accompanied by Colt Cabana) vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
I know everyone is gonna predict this match. Why? Because we want to see it, so make it happen. (Threw in the Colt bit for a little extra flair so I can look like a complete genius if it happens).

Dolph Ziggler (sans Vickie Guerrero) vs. Zack Ryder
On Ryder’s Youtube show, Ziggles issued a challenge to Ryder for his Internet Championship and while I doubt WWE is gonna recognize the belt, I would enjoy seeing this even if it’s nothing but a grudge match.

Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs. Daniel Bryan
Just kinda makes sense at this point, the top face vs. the top heel on Smackdown.

WWE Championship: Wade Barrett (c) vs. R-Truth
Eh, Barrett is gonna win MitB (whenever they decide to have it) and might as well through Truth in it. Why? Because go big or go home when it comes to predictions.

Divas: Beth Pheonix vs. Kharma
Because this needs to happen.

Intercontinental Championship: Cody Rhodes (c)vs. Goldust
This just HAS to happen, right?

Return of the Money in the Bank Match:
Otunga vs. Mark Henry vs. Santino vs. Damien Sandow vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus vs. Brodus Clay
Not exactly sure who is suppose to win this but I fully expect this match to return to WM once they get this “Wade HAS to win it phase.” I’m gonna say either Damien or Brodus wins this.

Joel Picks:

Because this year I am making predictions as part of a group, I’ve decided to be a little more eccentric with my choices. I figure that many of the matches will be similar on the three possible cards, and there’s no reason that we would want to look at the same car three times in a row. Plus if any of these come true, I will be even more of a prophet than before.

*Note* It seems that I will be the only one of us not predicting a CM Punk vs. Stone Cold match. Let me just say that I was very, very close to predicting this myself, and I feel sure that it will happen at some point in the future. The only thing that kept me from putting it on my card was the fact that with Brock and Rock already for sure being at WrestleMania 29, the role of returning guys from an earlier area is already quite full. Plus if a Punk vs. Austin match should happen, I will be far to excited to see the match than be disappointed that I didn’t guess it.

Streak: Brock vs. Undertaker:

This entire match is built around that short video where Brock walked past Taker at a UFC event and the briefest of words was exchanged. It’s a match I would love to see happen, and now that Brock is back, for the first time in a long time there is an actual chance of it coming to light. Plus if it doesn’t happen at Mania 29, it most likely never will.

WWE Championship: The Rock vs. The Miz

Even though Miz has been sidelined a bit recently, he is still far to active with the PR side of things to think that the WWE doesn’t have some plans for him. Like Rhett said earlier, The fact that he was sidelined in the whole Rock/Cena feud gives him an angle and Rock has already hinted that he would be going after the Title again.

WHC match: Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

It’s been a while since Orton has been involved in a title match at WrestleMania. Bring Wade back from his injury in a big bad way, and throw him directly into the main even scene right away, and he will be ready for a Mania title match by the time it rolls around next year.

Diva’s Match: Beth Phoenix vs. Kharma

Easily the only Diva’s match I care about seeing right now. And it seems that since this match was predicted across the board, it would seem that I am not alone in that thought.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Ryback: I’m really shooting in the dark on this one but if it ends up happening, I’m going to look like a genus this time next year. Several months ago rumors were circulating that Creative was very impressed with Skip Sheffield and could see him being a #2 face under Cena. (This was when Punk was still a heel) If that faith in him has continued to hold, he could possibly be in a Mania match next year. Or we could all be thinking “Ryback? Remember the three weeks that he existed?”

Rey Mysterio vs. Sin Cara

I guessed this match last year, and though it didn’t happen, nothing happened that would indicate it’s not possible sometime in the next year. So lets try this one again.

CM Punk vs. John Cena

In all my booking I somehow couldn’t find a place to put John Cena and CM Punk since I was refusing to make a Punk and Austin Match. And in earlier drafts Cena was possibly going against Brock, Undertaker, or The Rock, but now that all of those matches had been filled with other competitors Cena was also left without a match. So I figured why not let them fight each other. They had what was unquestionably the match of the year last year, so a WrestleMania match between the two of them would probably be great. Plus if Cena’s long fabled heel turn happens sometime this year, CM Punk would be the obvious face for him to feud with.

This is a match that I actually don’t want to see happen. Hopefully at some point in this next year Ziggler will be able to break away from this pairing and Vickie and become a member of the main event scene. But for now, these are the only two teams that seem to be close to be given a WrestleMania match from WWE so for now, they are my prediction.

Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

If we follow the pattern next year these two will be the second match on the card and have a match that lasts 90 seconds to two minuets. I look forward to WrestleMania 38 when these guys finally get to Main Event the whole thing.