Thursday, June 27, 2013

Too Much Going on to be Quiet

I am quiet though and I can't quite figure it out. Perhaps in my personal life I'm reaching a point of not being the one most likely to "rock the boat"? Forget gender transition- not being a rocker could be the biggest difference of all.

Maybe I'm not looking at the "big picture"? The more I have been able to build my new feminine life as a transgender woman, the more secure I have become. I could even take away the feminine word and still be secure. I am just me.

I love telling myself I was right-even if it took me so many years to arrive at this point. It was all so simple. When you don't have to live a lie, life just becomes so much simpler. DUH!

I also love to take all the credit for reaching this plateau of my life. Fortunately it's been awhile since anyone has told me how brave I am for living my life on my terms. Balderdash! Very simply I am one of the phantom 10% of transgender people in this country that someone knows. The six or so people I consider as friends, family or lovers are the one who are much braver than I. They gave me the push to "walk my transgender talk" until I could truly embrace and live it.

Looking back at the last five years, there was no way I could have imagined I would end up here and how it would differ from what I thought it would be.

Perhaps I rocked the boat into calmer waters and most surprising to me-it's a great feeling. That's not to say my ADHD pinball machine mind will calm down anytime soon but how I view the world surely has.