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Tag Archive | breaking up

There’s just something to be said about being so close and finding that you fit together like perfect pieces of a puzzle.

Sometimes I crave it. After a long, stressful day when nothing has gone quite right, there’s nothing I want more than to lazily curl up on the couch or in bed with you, pour us a few glasses of wine, and flip through the latest episodes of Boardwalk Empire. There’s a certain closeness you get with spooning that you just can’t achieve with other romantic physical activity. Like, feeling your back up against my chest, hips completely in sync, our legs tangled beneath the covers, and my lips dangerously close to your neck and ears. To be a little cliche, it really is as if two become one, working together in complete harmony.

I find that spooning, at least for me, is the perfect time to bond with your significant other- when you’re smooshed up against each other and yet it still feels like you can’t get close enough.

For those of you who aren’t keen on spooning, keep in mind that women are very sensually oriented. Luckily for me [as I’ll never admit to being the most handsome man in the world] they mostly respond to body heat, subtle touches, and fresh scents rather than visual stimulation. This makes spooning the perfect opportunity to segway in to your other agendas, as your hands and lips are free to roam her body-scape. Plus, being the big spoon puts you in a position of control- something I find most women crave out of the men in their relationships.

Here are a few quick tips for all the big spoons out there. First of all, your lips anywhere near her neck and ears will drive her crazy. Even kissing the back of her neck, just below the hair line will give her chills. Subtly kissing her shoulders and the length of her back will peak her interest. In fact, try running your lips in a curvy pattern down her back without ever lifting them up, slowly working your way down and up again, finishing just behind her ear. Combine these techniques while firmly gripping her hips and pulling her close to you and you may be in for a long night. When she turns around and throws her arms around you, you’ll know it’s on- just do me a favor and please don’t turn it in to a cheap 80′s porno. Keep it classy and passionate.

I notice things right away that I know won’t gel with me for a long period of time. And if there’s not much to offset this, then I’m outta there! It’s better to do this sooner rather than later. As time goes on, you get attached and too comfortable to let go of someone who is not right for you.

How do you know?

You have to listen to yourself.

If I don’t feel completely comfortable opening up and being myself, then I know it won’t work. This is after the first few dates of getting used to being around each other. Why would I want to be with someone negative, arrogant or doesn’t get me or doesn’t have the same values? I know that won’t work longterm. So why stay longer than one date? Or in some cases, three months?

Sometimes after a few dates, I will try to talk myself into it. Because there are things I do enjoy about this person. His company or humor or the way he works that white business shirt. But after awhile, I just know we are wasting time and three months is the longest I can take it. It’s best to face the reality and own up to it, then just be with someone for the sake of being someone. Plus if you’re wasting your time on someone you know isn’t right for you, then you won’t have the chance to meet someon who is!

How and when did some of you ladies know your guy was the one? Or not the one?

I found this post hilarious and it goes along with the Straight Up post I wrote a bit ago.

And yes- it’s so true.

I should probably warn all of you readers that I am the biggest dork on the planet, in that I think Huey Lewis and the News is amazing. Honestly, I tried to drag all my friends to a Huey Lewis and the News cover band gig on Halloween (unsuccessfully- I ended up going alone).

So while I was home alone this evening, I cranked up some Huey and had my own dance party in my living room and my a great blog post came into my head.

First of all, if you’re not familiar, here is the fantabulous music video for ‘If This Is It’.

Alright, so one of my biggest annoyances when it comes to dating is the ending of each new “relationship”. I’ve gone on a lot of dates in the last year, most of them first-and-last dates, but there have been a couple guys that I’ve dated a few times and saw a potential relationship blooming.

And then they just…stop.

No word, no nothing. They take forever to respond to me, if at all. They start cancelling dates or acting really distant during the dates we have. Even though you can’t tell tone in a text message, I can sense that something is off (ie messages that used to be long are now short, no emoticons or “lol”s, etc).

I then get to play the part of the paranoid female, which I hate. I am the chillest girl in that I am not needy or jealous. I’m so laid back that it bites me in the ass all the time. So when a guy does crap like that and makes me have to ask “Hey, are we cool?” or “Do you like me?” or any of those other needy-ish questions, it kills me.

Even worse is when the guy responds with “yea, we’re cool”. IF WE’RE NOT COOL, JUST SAY SO.

Seriously- I would much rather a guy tell me “hey I’m not into you” and hurt my feelings for a day or so than tell me that he’s into me when he’s not and lead me on for much longer. This has happened to me so many times and I just want to strangle every guy that does it.

Honestly, it’s okay if you’re not into me anymore. JUST SAY SO. You’re wasting my time and yours! If you’re just honest with me, I’ll let you go. I don’t want to come off as some crazy chick that keeps texting or calling you when you want me to stop. Tell me to stop!

Say “Hey listen, things aren’t really working for me. Maybe we should move on.” Take the risk of me responding to it like a psycho and then it ending completely or deal with the same amount texts, messages, and phone calls as usual. I’m going to look crazy to you either way, so please choose the first option and let it end. LET IT END.

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Jessica is better known as The Love Gun, FriendFlirt's social media maven. When she's not busy helping people with their dating lives, she can be found grabbing PBRs and watching the Red Sox with her pygymy tiger, Paul.