Beyoncé blessed the internet this week with a new album that no one saw coming. Frantic to capitalize on the tsunami of hype (which no one had the chance to do before release), bloggers, hipsters, and internet intellectuals (inter-lectuals?) raced as quickly as they could to dissect the "meaning" behind Queen Bey's new tracks. The result was a cascade of blog posts whose "deep" theories surrounding the album's lyrics sounded about as ridiculous as a middle school English essay.