Handicapping Tools

Baseball Quotes

Funny and Great Major League Baseball Quotes

By Loot, MLB Handicapper, Lootmeister.com

America's past time has created some of the most memorable sayings in the history of mankind. Listed below, we've compiled a list of popular baseball quotes and famous sayings from MLB players, announcers and managers. I've got to admit, a few of these give me chills down my spine. What a great game that we've all been blessed to have been associated with!

Hank Aaron

“It took me 17 years to get 3000 hits in baseball. I did it on one afternoon on the gold course.”

“You can only milk the cow so long, then you’re left holding the pail.”

Joe Adcock

“Trying to sneak a pitch past Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sunrise past a rooster.”

Dick Allen

“If a horse can’t eat it, I don’t wanna play on it.”

Larry Andersen

“Why does everyone stand up and sing “Take Me Out To the Ballgame” when they’re already there?”

Richie Ashburn

“The kid doesn’t chew tobacco, smoke, drink, curse, or chase broads. I don’t see how he can make it.”

“Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona.”

“No, just cut it into 4 slices. I’m not that hungry.”--When asked if he wanted his pizza cut into 8 slices.”

“Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical.”

“You can observe a lot by just watching.”

“It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.”,/p>

“Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.”

“It’s like deja-vu all over again.”

“The other teams could be trouble for us if they win.”

Jim Bouton

“You see, you spend a good part of your life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out it was the other way around all the time.”

Jerry Coleman

“He slides into second with a stand-up double!”

“Kansas City leads Chicago 4-4.”

“That was Hendricks’ 19th home run. One more and he’ll be in double figures.”

Joe DiMaggio

“I can remember a sportswriter asking me for a quote. I didn’t even know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of soft drink.”

Leo Durocher

“I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?”

“I never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes.”

Lee Elia

“The fans are really behind you here. My f***in’ ass!”

“What the f**k am I supposed to do, let my f***in’ players get destroyed everyday and be quiet about it? For the f***in’ nickel-and-dime people that show up? The motherf****rs don’t even work! That’s why they’re at the f***in’ game! They oughta go out and see what it’s like to earn a f***in’ living! 85% of the world is working. The other 15% come out here. It’s a f***in’ playground for the c***suckers!”

Ken Harrelson

“Baseball is the only sport I know of that when you’re on offense, the other teams controls the ball.”

Sandy Koufax

“I became a good pitcher when I stopped trying to make them miss the ball and started trying to make them miss it.”

Tommy Lasorda Quotes

“There are only two seasons: winter and baseball.”

“Strawberry is not a dog. A dog is loyal and chases after balls.”

“I bleed Dodger Blue and when I die I’m going to the big Dodger in the sky.”

“Listen, if you start worrying about the people up in the stands, before too long you’re up there with them.”

“I’ve never told a pitcher to hit a batter. And if I ever did, I certainly wouldn’t have him throw at a f****n’ .130 hitter like Bevacqua or Lefebvre.”

“Bevacqua couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a f****n’ boat.”

“And I guaran-f****n’-tee you this--when I pitched and I was gonna play a f****n’ team that had guys on it like Bevacqua, I’d send a f****n’ limousine to get the c**ksucker to make sure he’s in the MF lineup because I’d kick that c**ksucker’s ass any f****n’ day of the week.”

“The best possible thing in baseball is winning the World Series. The second best thing is losing the World Series.”

Bill “Spaceman” Lee

“Most of the managers are lifetime .220 hitters. For years pitchers have been getting these guys out 75% of the time and that’s why they don’t like us.”

“Hell, if KY jelly went off the market, the whole California Angels pitching staff would be out of baseball.”

“The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything.”

Billy Martin

“Everything looks nicer when you win. The girls look prettier. The cigars taste better. The trees are greener.”

“Reggie Jackson and George Steinbrenner deserve each other. One’s a born liar; the other’s convicted.”

“What does George Steinbrenner know about Yankee Pride? When did he ever play for the Yankees.”

Willie Mays

“Every time I look at my pocketbook, I see Jackie Robinson.”

“Defense to me is the key to playing baseball.”

“They throw the ball, I hit it. They hit the ball, I catch it.”

Tug McGraw

“I don’t know, I never smoked Astroturf.”--when asked if he preferred playing on natural grass or turf.

Jim Murray

“Sandy’s fastball was so fast, batter would start swinging when he was on his way out to the mound.”

“The charm of baseball is that, dull as it may be on the field, it is endless fascinating as a rehash.”

Jackie Robinson

“Baseball is like a poker game. Nobody wants to quit when he’s losing; nobody wants you to quit when you’re ahead.”

Vin Scully

“Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day. Aren’t we all?”

“Losing feels worse than winning feels good.”

Duke Snider

“You know you’re pitching well when the batters look as bad as you do at the plate.”

Willie Stargell

“They give you a round bat and a round ball and tell you to hit the ball square.”

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