bizarro-perfume reviews

Nearly out of my standby weird perfumes (Gingerale and Laundromat), but I’ve found a new supplier and ordered a sampler. Will report back on such delights as Seagull Eating a Starfish (“with a spike of gingery terror”) and Baby Gorgon Birthday Party. Unless you smell me first.August 28, 2010 at 8:07 pm

Onward w/the crazy perfume reviews: Sugar Dragon! Goes on with a juicy burst of grenadine & marzipan, then fades to lightly smoky sweetness. Not too incensey, but a candied, faded sense-memory of the sacristy for you altar-girls.September 7, 2010 at 8:54 am

Today’s bizarro perfume review: Tom Kha: ginger, coconut milk, lime, & spices. Crazy delicious! but more like I spilled Thai soup on myself. As this is A) not an irregular occurrence; B) involving too much umami for a perfume — I cannot wholeheartedly recommend.September 11, 2010 at 9:36 am

Perfume review #6: “Four Seasons in Mighty Contention on Trivial Matters.” This mix of springsummerfallwinter notes may in fact be the distilled essence of Goldengrove unleaving. I’m pleased to report that it’s quite beautiful — especially since it went on like Pine-Sol at first & made me wonder if they were contending over who’d clean my bathroom.September 12, 2010 at 11:32 am

Today’s scent: Vory v Zakony. Amber, tobacco. I suppose I do smell like I’ve been pawed by a Russian mobster. With a tender hint of vanilla. I can change him.September 22, 2010 at 8:04 am

Frivolous perfume review the 15th: “Up Quark.” 1st time since “Seagull Eating a Starfish” that I had to bathe immediately. Do not wish to discuss.September 28, 2010 at 8:06 am

Today’s perfume: “Dastardly Banyan.” Incense + cocounts. Didn’t really earn its homoerotic upstairs/downstairs blurb: “This scent isn’t that of an evil tree, precisely, it’s more the rakish-gentleman sort of tree that comes to call at uncivilized hours and does that smile that makes the butler wish he were younger.”October 5, 2010 at 6:49 pm

I have another handful of crazy @zomgsmells perfume samples to review! Therefore we continue with Review the 17th: “Zeppelin to the Moon.” It’s a teaky, aethery, manly scent — if you derive your notions of manhood entirely from Rider Haggard, by way of Wells & Verne. (I sure do.)October 26, 2010 at 8:31 am

At least, it goes on that way. Within five minutes, he’s buffing his nails in the captain’s cabin & becoming tedious on the subject of the Boers.October 26, 2010 at 8:35 am

Quick-change act before the #dh11 keynote & banquet. This evening’s perfume is called “The Large Hadron Collider Produces a Strangelet.” If you think you smell soap, serendipity, and the end of the world, it’s just me.June 22, 2011 at 6:44pm

inexplicable hiatus!

Perfume review the 24th: Sadly, the hottest poem in the English language has become this. It doesn’t say, “I’m yr dream succubus.” It says, “Candy & flowers for Valentine’s Day every year until the sweet release of death.”March 6, 2014 at 2:39pm

Perfume sample the 28th: Morgause. She comes on all purple-velvet stars, like one bad babe — but devolves quickly into fabric softener. In either guise, Morgan la Fay has no business chairing today’s General Faculty Council meeting. Verdict? Scrub.March 12, 2014 at 6:05am

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Nowviskie.org and its contents are the sole responsibility of Dr. Bethany Nowviskie and are not meant to reflect the opinions of her employers, colleagues, students, children, or imaginary friends.

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You can find me with a predictable username on any number of social media platforms, such as Twitter, Google+, Facebook, Flickr, and GitHub. Questions? Comments? Connections to be made? nowviskie at gmail, bethany at virginia dot edu, or bnowviskie at clir dot org.

This site uses a heavily modified version of Bryan Helmig's Magatheme. Work at http://nowviskie.org by Bethany Nowviskie is always CC-BY. Want to know why? The falling letters are by Wayne Graham. He kindly made them to replace a set I designed in Flash in the late 1990s and had in place for more than 17 years. Not a bad run! Ave atque vale.