Thursday, 24 July 2014

Krista Errickson in LITTLE DARLINGS wasn’t the only one
who stroked my fancy during my quest for beauty when I was a teen. Lori Loughlin (currently in WHEN CALLS THE
HEART on the Hallmark channel) quickly came into the picture as well. I think the first time I ever saw her was on
the now-defunct daytime soap THE EDGE OF NIGHT which, if I remember correctly,
was always struggling in the ratings back in the early ‘80s. But how gorgeous was she even then?! That face, that hair. She truly was the epitome of the perfect
girl—in my eyes anyway. I’m sure if you
talked to her in those days she’d humbly say how incorrect I was. But boy, what a looker she was. Anyway, after that soap went off the air,
nothing major in her court until she was cast in the campy 1983 horror AMITYVILLE
3-D, playing the first girl who gets it.
I was kind of bummed by her quick demise but at least I got to see her in
something else and in 3-D no less. But a
better role came her way two years later in the lovable teen comedy SECRET
ADMIRER. It featured a bunch of talented
actors, some seasoned, some younger, but starred C. Thomas Howell who was a big
thing to female teens (and to some males, I’m sure) back then.

In it Loughlin plays Toni, the girl next door type who
has a secret crush on Howell. Her anonymous
love letter to him sets off a chain of events that make SECRET ADMIRER a fun if
totally fluffy experience. What I liked
most about this film, besides connecting with the plot, is the staying power of
Loughlin. She isn’t tossed aside after
her triggered mishap, which could have been easily made by director David Greenwalt (who subsequently ended up on GRIMM’s doorstep on ABC). No, the script calls for her to embark even
further into this comedy of errors and the result is quite engaging, I’m
telling you. That is, if you can put
aside the silly teen male bonding subplot.
How tiresome is that. But, hey,
this type of flicks were a dime a dozen in those days, not to mention
specifically aimed at adolescent males with a high dose of libido. Some were truly effective (FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT
HIGH, CAN’T BUY ME LOVE, JUST ONE OF THE
GUYS…) and some not so much (FRATERNITY VACATION, WEEKEND PASS, JOYSTICKS…). And like its well-made predecessors, SECRET
ADMIRER understood quite well its purpose: to be funny without going too far on
the joke.

Loughlin went on to make all kind of features, from big
to small screens, but she truly found her niche when she joined the cast of FULL
HOUSE on ABC in 1988. Sadly, I never
watched it. There’s a limit to my
following the careers on my fave stars.
I mean, FULL HOUSE is just too goodie goodie for my taste. But I’ve heard that she was quite remarkable
in it. I’m not surprised. Hadn’t she proved her comedic flair in SECRET
ADMIRER already? One show I did follow
for a while was SUMMERLAND which she starred and co-produced 15 years later. I know, this one had kids in it as well, BUT
it also featured pre-TRUE BLOOD Ryan Kwanten who of course was shirtless most
of the times. So here’s
to you, Lori Loughlin, may your beautiful and talented self still be a
permanent fixture on our screens for many years to come, just as long as you
bring other hotties with you. And from the way things are looking up (Hallmark
has just renewed WHEN CALLS THE HEART for a second season) I wouldn’t be
surprised.

Sunday, 6 July 2014

Oh
my.Where do I begin?There’s nothing redeeming in watching this
over-expensive piece of fluff.Except
perhaps to chuckle at the many scatterbrained moments involvingThe Village People.Along with Valerie Perrine, Steve Guttenberg—and yes, the Kardashian dad himself: a young and quite dashing Bruce Jenner—the group sole venture into films is nothing to shout about.But boy, what a way to go.That is, if you can stand two hours of overexposed
bonbons shaking.On the heels of making
it big with GREASE, producer Allan Carr decided to bring to the forefront this
celebrated disco sextet who’s popularity was already waning before the musical
comedy even got released.That, along
with its overall awfulness didn’t help at the box office.Indeed, the film tanked so much that it is
still considered to be one of the biggest bombs to ever grace our screens, and
with good reasons.Starting with the
director ofchoice:Nancy Walker.

If
you recall, this short lady used to be a celebrated comedienne, playing, among
other things, Rhoda’s mom in the self-titled classic sitcom.People can also remember her later on as
Sophia’s feisty sister in NBC’s The Golden Girls.Why did Carr choose her to be at the helm of
this flick?Who knows?But one thing’s for sure: she’s either a
lousy director or is the greatest thing to ever happen since Orson Wells,
depending to whom you talk.I personally
think she was on the verge of senility.There is no other explanation for what we’re seeing.Grant you, after catching Carr’s remake of
WHERE THE BOYS ARE a few years later, I’m starting to wonder who’s really to
blame.I mean, have you seen that one
too?Talk about horrible.I nominate it for a full blown blog entry as
well. But back to our topic at
hand.I sure didn’t expect it to be this
bad, but it was.And not really fun bad.Just plain bad bad.And there’s a limit to my loving this type of
shit, really.

The
plot—if you can call it that—centers around the making of the Village
People.
Guttenberg plays this wet behind the ears songwriter who, besides having an
impressive bulge, just can’t stand still when it comes to his career.He wants to make it big, and along with curvy
roommate Perrine, who’s a former fashion model turned partner with connections,
eventually gets there.And that includes
kneeling on the floor while taking Jenner’s pants off (don’t ask).Contrary to that last part, it takes time for
Guttenberg to assemble our six spotlighted gentlemen but when he does we are
treated (?) with plenty of gay-oriented moments such as the YMCA music clip
involving many boys in different states of undress.When male bodies aren’t the sole focus, you
can actually taste other avenues such as awful dialogues and situations and a
slew of dumber characters after the next (sorry, demure Barbara Rush who plays
Jenner’s mom).Yes, all should be taken
with a grain of salt but the slapstick here is just as awful and embarrassing
as the off-pitched solo performance of the construction worker who, seconds
before, claimed to have had talent.

Am I
too hard on this flick?Absolutely
not.You really have to see it to
believe it.It seems to have become a
cult favorite over the years.Perhaps,
but this then-15 year old in the closet gay boy who had first seen and enjoyed the
flick back in the day can honestly tell you that, contrary to him, it has not
aged well.I suggest that you lower your
expectations or be high as a kite before ever putting the film into your DVD
slot.Otherwise you’ll be left with your
mouth agape the whole time wondering why you couldn’t make better use of it.