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Duke's Mike Krzyzewski turned down the Los Angeles Laker
coaching job Monday after Kobe Bryant called on behalf of Los
Angeles and offered him the job personally. Is he crazy? Does
Coach K have any idea what happens to people who say no to Kobe Bryant?

Olympics host Athens burst into patriotic street singing
Sunday after Greece won the European Soccer Cup. Loud music keeps
away terrorists. They haven't come near the United States since we
began singing G-d Bless America every seven innings.

Newsweek reported Monday the number of women who cheat on
their husbands has doubled in the last ten years. The breakdown is
not surprising. Forty percent of women cheat at the work place and
the other sixty percent cheat at the book signing.

Iraq's new government Monday provided pinpoint intelligence
to U.S. troops for an air strike on insurgents in Fallujah. The
CIA should look into this technology. The Iraqis used Caller ID
every time somebody called to ask about the amnesty offer.

Germany decided to let the German Air Force shoot down
airliners hijacked in Germany. This is a bad idea for the same
reason cocaine is not allowed backstage at Saturday Night Live
reunion shows. Nobody knows where the off switch is located.

John Kerry and his wife Teresa Heinz held an Independence
Day party at their Pennsylvania farm on Sunday. The senator and
his wife have five mansions. It shows how much further your money
goes when the government pays for your health insurance.

Ralph Nader told Judy Woodruff Monday how electable he is in
the Heartland and how necessary he is to the race and how his
candidacy won't hurt Democrats. His candidacy feeds his addiction
to camera time. On days like this, the best thing Judy can do is
to pull him aside and encourage him to attend meetings of On and On.