The End of Time is here. And I’m not going to take it well..I know that. I’ll make it through but it’s going to hurt. So Jessica’s going to give you an inside view into her heart so you can see why Ten leaving is going to bop me on the head.

Back when TENnant announced his leaving earlier this year one of the fans on the Doctor Ten LJ group decided to put together a book with stories/letters from fans to tell him what his run as the Doctor meant to them. I submitted mine and this was it. It got into the book and she’s going to give it to him/has given it to him.

I was lucky enough to get his attention at Comicon in July and got to hug him and tell him a little of this. He was touched. I didn’t think about it at the time, but his mom had passed away from cancer…so maybe this really did mean something to him or maybe it helped him deal with that a little better? Or maybe he thought I was just nuts…either way…I got to let David Tennant know what he did for me as the Doctor other than being beautiful and badass.

When I found out about this project I knew I had to contribute to it. I’m going to try to explain why your Doctor means what he does to me and why I am so sad to see him go, but so thankful for the journey.

It was in 2006 that I got diagnosed with cancer. I didn’t know how advanced or how bad really it was, and wouldn’t know until I had surgery. This was pretty scary for a gal just over 30. But I’d been sick for a while and I knew something was wrong.

I’m a big sci-fi fan. The call came while I was at work (classy huh?) to tell me the news. The week after I was due to go to the San Diego Comicon for the first time, something I’d been planning for months. Crazily, the first words out of my mouth were “Can I still go to Comicon?” Strange how our brains work isn’t it? I’m guessing my rationale was that since there was a chance I might not be around much longer I wanted to go out having had a good time.

Long story short, after talking to my new oncologist I was cleared to go on my trip. And I made the most of it and made a point to pick up a newly made #10 Action Figure while I was there. It’s hard for us in the States to get the nifty Doctor Who toys since we have to have them imported. I had a great time while there even though my husband was worried the entire week. I’d made my peace with whatever was going to occur when I got back home. I just wanted to enjoy myself and take it all in.

The day after I got back home I had my surgery which was a complete hysterectomy. Needless to say the fact I had to have this type of operation and I wouldn’t have the chance to have children was a sad one. The good news was that the operation removed the cancer and also showed no signs of it spreading.

Recovery from this whole ordeal was slow going and I didn’t return back to work for a while. But the happy ending to this story is the fact that it’s now three years later and I’m still cancer free. I’ll keep having checkups etc, and due to the type of cancer I had I’m “at risk” more for other types…but as of right now I’m still cancer free.

But what does this have to do with you and the amazing #10? Well Mr. Tennant you and the Doctor helped me through my recovery. I wasn’t a happy camper to put it mildly. I was sad and I was scared. The whole of the ordeal wore me out and I was so very tired of everything. But The Doctor was there and he made house calls.

I’ve always been a fan of Doctor Who, watching the brilliant Tom Baker back when I was no more than 5 or 6 years old on PBS. This of course led to Peter Davison, Colin Baker, and Sylvester McCoy etc. I loved them all, especially Pertwee.

When the new series started I was very excited to see the Tardis flying across the vortex again. When Christopher Eccleston left and you came on I was quite amazed. You managed to take all that was so wonderful from every Doctor who came before you and mix them all together into one and still bring your own take to it. The crazy oddness of #4, the intelligence of #3, and the righteousness of #5. You as a fan knew what the rest of us loved about our favorite Time Lord, and you brought it to life.

Sitting home and recovering from something like that isn’t fun. It was painful, it was tiring, and it sucked really. But for those minutes when I got to watch you running across the screen and actually hugging Sarah Jane for the first time…it made me smile. It brought a lightness to my heart. It made it worth it because I had MY Doctor and he made me feel young again and I forgot the troubles and the worry.

Even after I’d got back to 100 percent watching you saving the universe still makes me feel like that Mr. Tennant. You and The Doctor have a magic about you when you step into that Police Box that just wraps us up and makes us believe. For a moment or two, we really think that this man in the suit and the sneakers could take on an army of giant spiders from outer space and win, that he could save the world with just a glare because his legend is so known.

But the real magic is that you created it Mr. Tennant. You took what the writers gave you and made it your own. And it grew a lot of love in so many people’s hearts for that character you made. That love had the power to make me feel better and gave me something to hold on to when I felt so awful. And not only me but a lot of other fans who just simply adore Doctor Who and are so happy and thankful for the gift you gave all of us with #10 and his place in the history of the show.

So I supposed what I’m trying to say is Thank You Mr. Tennant. Thank you for bringing a part of my childhood back to life, in a time during my adulthood that impossible things needed to be real, at least for only an hour. In a time where the real monsters were inside me and hiding, seeing you fight them out in the open with a sonic screwdriver and a smile mad my battles easier.

So yes, I’m very sad to see you go. #10 will forever be MY Doctor (to borrow a phrase from Time Crash) because of this and I don’t know if anyone else can fill the stellar Converses you wore. You and #10 meant a lot to me. You came to my rescue when I needed it, and for that I will always be grateful.

Yes, this is the link that will take you to the new Alice in Wonderland trailer. Why yes Johnny Depp looks amazing as does the rest of the film. Why yes, you get more Cheshire Cat and the rest of the gang (still no Alan Rickman smoking a hookah though).

And yes, I can’t wait to go to Avatar simply to see this in 3D, and I will be bringing a towel.