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The smelly foot moment

Dearest M,

There are many things I promised I’d do which still sit half finished as yet..your sensory play book, first birthday treasure chest, your big boy animal bedding..but the one thing I’ve been studious in doing is noting the moments, your milestones, my son. I know when you cut your first tooth and slept through the night that one and only time. I know when you took your first bath and then later when you made your first “splash!” in the big bath. first sounds, first movements, first smiles…even the day your little eyebrows grew in. All of these moments are noted for..for what I’m not sure..for you? Will you care? For me? I can’t imagine a time when I don’t recall them by heart.

But tonights moment Babyone, is one I’m not sure where i’m meant to jot down. It’s not a milestone in the traditional senses of the word, and still it stopped me in my tracks, took my breathe out, held it on hold: Tonight my growing boy, you needed a bath because you smelt! You were sweaty and sticky and a prime candidate for a rinse. Post dinner, you snuggled closely into my arms and as i pulled your neck into my face, to snuggle-tickle-kiss as we do most every night, the scent overwhelmed my very soul, sent oangs straight through my heart. You’d spent the afternoon climbing onto sofas, the new trick for today, running across said sofa in convulsions as I “discovered” you were back up there again. On and off for an hour, spluttery giggles and excited squeals as background beats. I guess you worked up a little sweat and that sweat, it settled on in.

You think i’m crazy, huh, little one? I can hear you now, as you read this years from now…”sweaty me, Mum? Really? Did you have to overshare?” yes, MKM, sweaty you and the need to overshare. Because milestones are the moments we define. They’re not the falling off of your umbilical cord or the first time you ate solid food, they’re the shifting of conditions, the changing patterns of our roles. And tonight as I stripped you for your bath, watched your tummy convulse with giggles as I scrubbed the skin under your chin – your ticklish spot, just, you know, fyi – as I held your water warmed body and rubbed you all dry with a towel, I glimpsed the adventure that’s in the evolvement and how I’m loving holding on tight for the ride.