Saturday, 9 January 2010

Not Knowing How To Find The Open Air, But Toiling Desperately To Find It Out.

Seekers of something other than what is are convinced there must be some extraordinary difference in the quality of experience other than that which is already known; the flavour of reality must change, and subsequently, the motives for all apparent actions. The very timbre of what is heard must be sweeter; what is felt must feel more whole; what is seen must seem to be more crystalline and defined, the very essence of reality contained in each apprehended atom of the appearance that shows up for us. Whatever is known now is disregarded as incomplete, is perceived as lacking in some way. All of us seek to imbue some greater consequence to experience than what is already experienced. Imagination intervenes to provide an expectation of a world imbued with more: more meaning, more light, more love, more sensation, more appreciation. Whatever simply is, is not enough. Whatever simply is, is judged to be lacking. Whatever the sights, sounds, feelings, sensations of the world that appears to show up for us is not enough; there must be more.

These expectations are what keeps the apprehended world from being, to our perception, something other than the miraculous whole it is. And yet, the expectations and judgements themselves are part of the tapestry of wholeness, sensible and appropriate, and are merely humanity's facility for exploration and self-consciousness at play. There is no better way, in the story of seeking meaning, to find meaning other than by feeling that everything is meaningless; there is no better way to find wholeness than to feel that life is incomplete. We are constructed flawlessly for the purpose of exploration and being, looking at itself. Far from being dismissed out of hand, the appearance of the world and our seeming interaction with it is the point. It doesn't matter what that interaction is. There is no perfect blueprint for being other than what is apparently presented. The questioning, the anger, the resistance are fitting and could not be any other than what they are.

Yet it can be seen that the most mundane actions, judged to be dreary and ineffectual, are in fact simply the miracle of consciousness in whatever guise seems to be presented. This, this life, showing up just as it does, is perfect, complete and whole just as it is. It is so ironic that we agonise and question and seek and judge lacking and struggle, hoping to find what is exactly what is. Even when this is accepted, there seems to be the need for some act of will or intervention from beyond to make whatever is more than it is. Awakening, enlightenment, or whatever we're calling it today, is simply seeing that what is, is what is sought. What was sought was the very seeking. What was lacking was appreciation of lack. There is nothing different, in some nonexistent future, that will bring you to what you already are. You are life; and there is no time beyond this now, this moment, this seamless reality that is always here, and never to be more than it already is. So read with interest about the ego, and its false assumptions, and its taking on of a role bigger than it is, and its case of cosmic mistaken identity. It is the reading that is the point, not the content. It is life, this very moment, that is the answer. And if it seems to help to conceptualise that you are awareness, and everything arises in this awareness, including the ego-construct, that's fine too. It is the thinking of these things that is life, not the conclusions. Here is everything. There is nowhere, no when, and no one but here and now and this.

i love sf and jc. it´s the reading that´s the point, not the content, reminded me of:ich bin der weg, die wahrheit und das leben,and i looked up john 14.it goes on: nobody gets to the father but by me. I,MINE,ME.my,my,my,i like it physical.

So maybe we could take appreciating lack a step further and appreciate everything in life. The "good" and the "bad" and everything in between. It would be interesting to see what kind of perspective would would evolve from that after enough practice. See, you make me think. :)

«Awakening, enlightenment, or whatever we're calling it today, is simply seeing that what is, is what is sought. What was sought was the very seeking. What was lacking was appreciation of lack. There is nothing different, in some nonexistent future, that will bring you to what you already are.»Great post, Suzanne.(Tengo la impresión de que te dirigieras a 'mí', que golpearas exactamente donde lo necesito.)Un millón de graciaslovefernando

Hahaha. I noticed that some pointers don't like when others (as if there is such a thing) point to oneness by using the word love instead. Quite silly really, nonduality pointers pointing out the duality that appears to "them". Hahaha. Doesn't matter though because nondaulity, love, oneness or whatever label; is still this one inseparable space and there is no way to talk or point out of it by using some "wrong words". Hahaha. Great fun.

Plus there is no goal because oneness can't evolve into something else other than what it already is. It can only appear to evolve but it never changes, even the appearances are it.

Hi Suzanne, This is my first post even though I've been reading your blog,watched you on Conscious tv and at Richard's house.Thank you for sharing the simplicity of just "this." Last month my dearest, sweet 12 year old dog died. Her death penetrated my heart with such a grief.At such times the intensity of feelings is just so deep.At such times, all of this spiritual path stuff seems ridiculous. In this post you refer to the wholeness of things and I just wonder how you see or feel grief in the wholeness? I get so put off by all of the advaita crap that nothing matters, there is no one, etc. etc. I seem to feel a lot and feel deeply-and usually beat myself up to no end for it all. Anyway, I shall ramble no more. Thank you for sharing!

Thank you for this wonderful post, Suzanne! I especially responded to this line:

"There is no better way, in the story of seeking meaning, to find meaning other than by feeling that everything is meaningless; there is no better way to find wholeness than to feel that life is incomplete."

In the Zen tradition, we refer to this kind of "seeking" and "finding" as "don't know" mind. It's the mind of profound curiosity about how things actually are in *this* moment.

Hi Judeann, well, whatever is happening is wholeness...even feelings of emptiness...or loss. Pain is just another guise of oneness, if you want to put it that way. Pain is bearable, and even common sense says that pain is a part of life. If there is no one to bear it - no ego, at least not one that takes on the burden of everything - then there is just pain. Pain becomes unbearable (by the ego) when resisted. Life seems hard, no question. But maybe it's supposed to be, from "time" to "time".

"There is no better way, in the story of seeking meaning, to find meaning other than by feeling that everything is meaningless; there is no better way to find wholeness than to feel that life is incomplete."

Followers

Visitors (since March 2009)

All words and pictures are copyright 2008-2011 Suzanne Foxton. Please do not use any material from this site, especially artwork, without permission from the author. Just ask, she'll probably say yes!

Disclaimer.

This website is for educational purposes only and is not intended in any way to be a replacement for, or a substitute to, qualified medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, or as a replacement for, or a substitute to, psychological advice, diaognosis or treatment, or therapy from a fully qualified person. If you think you are suffering from a medical or psychological condition, consult your doctor or other appropriately qualified professional person or service immediately. We are not responsible or liable for any action made by a user based on the content of this website. We are not liable for the contents of any external websites listed, or for any actions made by a user based on the contents of these extermal sites, nor do we necessarily endorse any product or service mentioned or advised on any of these external sites. Any data or information is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended for any other commercial or non-commercial purposes. We will not be liable for any errors or delays in the content of this website, or for any actions taken in reliance thereon. By accessing our web site, you agree not to redistribute the material found therein, unless appropriate rights have been granted. We provide links to select sites for your convenience only. We do not necessarily endorse or recommend the services of any company. We shall not be liable for any damages or costs of any type arising out of or in any way connected with your use of our website. We are not lawyers, but we sure are guided by litigiousness!

By using the site, you fully agree to these terms, you naughty, naughty possible miscreants! Thank you.