How do I minimize my chances of getting caught having sex in public?

How do I minimize my chances of getting caught having sex in public?

When having sex in public, whether by yourself or in a group, one must take stringent precautions to avoid being seen, heard, or unfairly heckled. Dark alleys are great, but there can be some unscrupulous characters about, so make sure you hide the money first. Public parks are also good, and restrooms are perfect. According to Joseph Couture, author of Peek: Inside the Private World of Public Sex, the best "have double doors, because you can hear the first door open, and it gives you a second before they walk through the second door, before they're actually able to see you." Essentially you'll want to scout a location that's private, provides some cover, and allows you a wide vantage point so you can react quickly to any interlopers or horny senators.

What are the social obligations related to running into a one-night stand in, say, the grocery store?

What are the social obligations related to running into a one-night stand in, say, the grocery store?

In, say, which grocery store? Because if we're talking about the place where I shop, I'll thank you to stop giggling and bag my groceries already.

As always, be polite. Frankly, I'm a little stunned that I have to tell you that. And "Frankly, frankly," says etiquette expert Peter Post of the Emily Post Institute, "if you were big enough to have a one-night stand with them, you're big enough to have at least a modicum of conversation with them." (But stick to one modicum if there are other people around.) Because frankly, frankly, frankly, this one-night stand is due the same uninterested "Hey, hi, wow, how are you, yeah, hey looks like rain ..." that you'd bestow upon anyone else whose window you crept out of at dawn, or next time no tip.