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Debated sharing more of this part of my life on here, but after a rough couple of weeks this appeared. I thought it would be best to share it with you all. I try to be as real and honest as possible on here, but yet kinda like remaining kind of anonymous as I blog. I also thought I would post it here, although I could have posted under or on another racing page. My sponsor, and wife’s uncle Mark wrote this and it moved me to tears. Racing has become essentially my mental reset and escape for the week. Hope you all enjoy. Here is the story.

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Another perspective from the day of the accident. I guess sometimes you never realize how an incident, or combination of events may shape our lives. If you want it is a 5 or 6 part series well worth the read.

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alone is the world as i am coldalone is the fear just not toldalone i lay awake and thinkalone i pray just not to blinkalone im in so much painalone i’m going insanealone todayalone tomorrowalone i will sorrowalone i dream of what will comealone i fear of what i’ve donealone i will fly awayalone i am for another dayalone i have so much hatealone i just tempt fatealone i am just a worthless soulalone im in a 6 foot hole!

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After over twelve years of dealing with chronic pain I have tried numerous options to get some relief to no avail. Everything including various medications ( was on 2 morphine patches a day), to acupuncture, and physical therapy, just to name a few of many. Pretty much have had a minimal, if any effect on my pain levels. The morphine kinda worked I guess, but I know that was no way to try and live. Electrotherapy or E STIM has helped at least slow down the raid tissue degeneration. About three weeks ago I learned of a new project called The Patriot Project. They basically are helping veterans and trying to make a case as to why the VA should provide chiropractic care. In my opinion if the VA did start to offer it it would quickly become like every other service where we have to wait 6 months to a year to get it when we are lucky enough to actually receive it. I have kinda wondered what difference chiropractic treatment would make for me, if any. Being a man, I was hoping that the fact she is a woman she would at least be nice looking. Let me just say I was not disappointed! After the first treatment it was decided that I should go in twice a week for at least a few weeks to try and help get hings back to the way they were supposed to be. Each treatment has left me feeling less sore afterword, and better able to get around and do things. I don’t remember when I felt this much younger and able to do so much since the accident happened. Just this last weekend I woke up early on Friday. ( A small advantage of working 4 ten hour days on swing shift 4 pm- 2am) I rode my bicycle about 14 miles total before my legs were simply too tired. Then I got home and rested for a little and continued to go outside and unload a yard and a half of dirt into the garden. Saturday morning I also woke up early to go help my son’s civil air patrol unit move all the furniture from their old building to what is becoming their new one on the air national guard base here in Portland. We had to leave their before the last load was made, but we still made four trips loading and unloading desks, chairs, and large filing cabinets. I then came home and loaded up the car and everything I needed to go racing. Unloaded at the track, raced and loaded everything back up by about 11 that night. Sunday came around and it was time to create and build a sprinkler system for the garden. Key piece of advise here… if they make a system that does what you need it to do not think that you can invent your own that will work better for less or about the same cost. It was about twice as much as the existing system and I am still fighting with it to get it the way it is supposed to. Monday consisted of three different appointments of various types and then back to work. So yoga is slowly helping my balance and strength, but now I realize it is the loss of muscle mass or strength that is my biggest hinderance from accomplishing something. Which is a very stark contrast to being overwhelmed by the ever increasing levels of pain as I try to do something.

On saturday I even got to finish the main event. I actually ran from the green to the checkered. First time in the three races that I did not blow out a tire. So needless to say that was a blast! Hopefully I can accomplish the same feat this saturday. Other than that on Monday morning I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. First one in about three months. I told her what had been going on, and the only had time I seemed to have was Memorial day week. For some reason that whole week I was in a funk mentally, but thankfully racing on saturday kinda snapped me out of it. My next appointment is at the beginning of August simply because I have learned a lot this past year to year and a half and have an easier time realizing when something is rattling around in my head and sorting it out. (most of the time)

So now I guess I will wait and see what the longer term results from chiro are. This is usually entering in to my better time of year. With the warmer weather I am in less pain which also helping my head and emotional states. For now I am going to hopefully enjoy being able to do more and be in less pain for as long as it lasts.