Had a phone call yesterday afternoon, from an Asian sounding gentleman, telling me that my computer was running slow, and had been infected with a virus.
The conversation went something like this:

Good afternoon sir. Did you know your computer is running slow?
No, it's not.
Sir, your pc is slow.
How do you know?
We can help you rectify that, sir.
Me, sensing the opportunity for a bit of fun,
How can you do that? Oh, by the way I'm not running Windows, I have Linux.
You have to press the control key and R, and can you see the key with the Windows logo.
Yes
You have to press that, sir.
I told you I haven't a problem, what part of that don't you understand?
Your computer has a virus, sir.
I told you before, I'm not running Windows, I run Linux.
What anti-virus do you use, sir.
None
None?
No, don't need it with Linux.
Don't need it with Linux?
No
I have to pay to renew my anti-virus every year. Think I'll get Linux.
Good idea. Good afternoon.

Maybe we've just got another convert. But then again if they're all like him, I hope not.

Good fun if you have the time (or inclination), otherwise just hang up.

"When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself." - Tecumseh

What do falling objects and Windows have in common? They are both doomed to crash land eventually.

What do physical windows and Microsoft's Windows OS have in common? They both let the bugs in when you open them.

What do a guitar and Microsoft Windows have in common? Nothing. A guitar is easy to use, enjoyable, and can create beautiful music. Windows is a royal pain to use, rather unpleasant, and can create "music" in the sounds of the millions of users crying out in pain and agony each day.

A group of male and female computer science students were having a debate to decide what gender the computer should be. The males thought the computer should be female, because:
-No one understands their logic
-The language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible.
-The error message "invalid command" is about as useful as saying "I am mad at you, but I wont tell you why!"
-Even the smallest of errors are stored in long term memory for eternity.
-As soon as you make a commitment to one, it either gets old really fast or requires half the pay-check worth of accessories.

The female students thought that the computer should be male, because:
-In order to get their attention, you need to turn them on
-Likewise, big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night
-They have a lot of data, but are completely clueless.
-They are supposed to solve problems and make life easier but the reality is they create problems and make life miserable.
-As soon as you make a commitment to one, you regret it within a few years and end up buying a new one anyway.