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No Room For Hate..

Saturday, July 3, 2010

A month ago, I received my very first hate mail. It was quite a long one, where the anonymous sender basically tells me I shouldn't blog anymore "because you suck." I immediately deleted it, thinking ignoring it was the best solution for me. A month later, I received another one. A rather vicious one; using name calling and low blow tactics. There have been several mean anonymous comments on some of my posts too, of course, but I guess that comes with the territory of blogging in public. Now my initial reaction when I got these was that I was just surprised. I didn't know how anyone could waste their time e-mailing hate mails to others, anonymously.

Now on Twitter, in the last couple of days, there have been several "shout-outs," bad mouthing other book bloggers after another, blasting them by spotlighting all their flaws. Some even go so far as to blasting their actual names and posting their actual blog links. Example? "Look at this blog, everyone! (link here) Her writing and reviews make me cringe. If you agree, please RT." Apparently also, he/she created a petition where he/she asks several of her followers on Twitter -- and on her blog -- to "kick the book blogger out."

I simply could not understand this. Does the person who bad mouths other bloggers not understand that this is simply bad etiquette? That it actually ruins his/her credibility, more than it ruins the one he/she's talking so negatively about? Truthfully, these unnecessary comments full of hate and spite is just making him/her seem very immature.

I would get it if the purpose of these acts would be to help. Constructive criticisms, and frank but helpful recommendations and suggestions are always welcome. In fact, they are even encouraged. However, bad mouthing someone, blasting them and exposing their links, to encourage others to join in the hate, is just ridiculous.

Now I ask, why so vicious? Why so mean? What's with all the hate? I came up with a book blog, to talk about books. I came here to write about my thoughts about them, not even knowing there was even such a thing as a book blog community. When I discovered it, I thought it was just wonderful. Through blogging, I met so many other people who share the same love I have for books, and at times, even writing. Everyone is so helpful, encouraging, and supportive. I feel as though the community is a team, in a lot of ways. But are we a team fighting against someone? I think not. We are a team, who reads, writes, and talks about books. We aren't here to fight, hate, or mock anyone.

Book blogging is not a competition. It is not about who's on top, who's rising, and who's on the bottom. There is no such thing as a hierarchy here. Book bloggers who get 500+ followers and so many books for review get them for a reason. They work hard to keep their blog moving, and they are helpful to the blog community. They do not cause jealousy. They do not cause an uproar or fights. What they have and what we all should have is the ability to keep our feet on the ground, while sharing the love we have for what we are passionate about.

At the end of the day, all I'm trying to say is that we should never forget the reason why we started blogging in the first place. Remember while you deal with others and with yourself, that integrity is so important. It is one crucial quality everyone needs to remember; it can make or break who you are as a person. Finally, remember to keep doing what you love, and loving what you do. Just keep in mind there is no place for hate around here.

Aww I feel so bad that anyone would write you hate mail and comments. That is so mean, petty, and plain ridiculous! I hope I never receive hate mail because I think it would just crush me. I hope it stops soon : ) BTW I really like your blog and have absolutely no complaints.

And OMG I couldn't believe what you said was happening on Twitter. Wow, I truly can't believe anyone could be so cruel. Hope that person grows up and realizes what they are doing is just so rude and mean.

I'm sorry you've been getting hate mail. It's especially sad in the book blogging community where if you don't like someones taste or the style of their reviews you can just ignore them. I don't understand why anyone would be so hateful. A very well worded post.

Wow, did they really do that????Why waste so much energy and time in hating someone you don't even know?I really don't understand.Go read a book and stop insulting people!!!!I am sorry but stupidity angers me beyond words.Don't pay any attention to them, Jillian.That's what they want you to do.You have an awesome blog that a lot of people enjoy reading and that's a fact, and what basically matters in the end. *hugs*

Like I said, this IS a SUPER great post. And I keep asking myself, too, how they waste their time sending hate emails to other people, especially when they don't even know these people. Pff... Thank God I never received any, and I'm so sorry you did. Just ignore. You must trust yourself and you KNOW that your blog is awesome and that you LOVE it, right? So, just ignore those people. I adore you. <3

They have that new disease known to the blogging world as "Followitis", a variant of Evil Envy. They are very jealous that there are people who read and follow YOU instead of them. I don't know why there are people who truly feels happy when they make other people sad!! They are one in a thousand, so who cares!!

I'm so scared to get hate mail! Haters shouldn't infiltrate the book blogging community because it's such a positive, loving community for bookish people to share their interests. Just remember that we're all doing this because we want to reach out and communicate with people who understand our love for books.

Slightly off-topic, are you a fellow Filipino book blogger? I was just wondering because I'm creating a directory in case you're interested. Also, it seems like we both like YA so I'm going to start following you. :)

That's horrible. I can't believe someone would send you hate mail. I absolutely love your blog. I'm so sensitive so I'd be crushed if someone was that mean to me, but it's great that your keeping your head up and not letting it get to you. Keep on blogging and let them hate. :D

I've received hatemail and awful comments as well on my other blog, and so have some other bloggers I know. But we were obvious targets because we tended to blog about religion and politics (which I keep to a bare minimum these days!); someone was bound to disagree very strongly with us and to express it in some unbalanced way.

This is why I'm a little befuddled that this sort of drama is leaching into the book blogosphere, which is a much more positive and helpful community than the one I just left. And Random Ramblings hardly goes out of its way to be outrageous and controversial, does it? But I guess that for some people, any excuse will do . . .

Jillian, you have a great blog and a very sweet writing style. I hope you remember that for every hater you inadvertently attract, there are at least a hundred other readers/followers who appreciate you!

I can't even understand why anyone would do this. Always know that we love your blog, and haters are a lost cause. Book blogging shouldn't be a competition, and I've met so many awesome people through the great community we have going on.

I wonder if I'll ever get any hate mail. I'd like to give them a stern talking-to... Heh heh heh...

Great post, Jill! You've addressed this in such a levelheaded, mature manner. I'm sure any haters could really learn a thing or two from you. ;D

Wow, that is so awful - I'm still pretty new to book blogging and had so far found the community to be very supportive. That behaviour sounds so childish, unprofessional and just plain ol' nasty and I'm so sorry you've had to go through that :(

Jillian,what an elegant and rational post--hope the blogbullies read it and feel stupid.

People can be so despicable-- and there is always somebody raining on someone's parade. Sounds like kids to me-- but how icky and shameful and just plain weird if it is adults. There must be someway to track the anonymous hatemailers-- maybe a techie friend could do it.

I'm not familiar with twitter-- is the blogbullying happening on the target's twitter or on the jerk's twitter? Is it anonymous as well?

@Becky: Thank you. I think we all know that this is the only way we can stay true to what we do, but I guess some just forget all about it.

@Addicted Book Reader: Thank you so much! I agree though, I think I was more affected with the Twitter situation rather than the hate mails I got. Someday they will have to grow up somehow.

@Liz: Thanks so much, Liz! :)

@May: Thanks. I might be hard to receive a hate mail, but really.. who cares about it? I just keep thinking that's just one person who can't do anything but hate on others. Oh well, right? ;)

@Letter4no1: Exactly. If people don't want your blog, they can easily just ignore or unfollow you. It's simple. And thank you.

@Julie P: Thank you! I think I am more affected with the whole Twitter situation rather than the hate mails I've been getting. The hate mails, I am really able to just delete, ignore, and forget immediately.

@Natalie: Thanks so much. Means a lot coming from you! Your blog is one of my favorites, for sure :)

@AtenRa: Haha, stupidity makes me laugh as well. Sometimes, that's all we should do, right? ;) Laugh it off. Anyway, thank you so much for the support!

@Raila: Awww Raila, you already know how thankful I am for awesome book bloggers, like you! Thanks for all the continuous support and encouragement. You're the best!

@Bookquoter: People who have that are just plain sad, I think. I don't know why they waste their time on petit things like sending hateful emails. Like you said, who cares? They're probably bored.

@Chacic: Aw, don't be scared to get hate mails. One way or another no matter what we do, we can't please everyone! :) And yes, I am filipino.

@Adriana: Thanks so much, Adriana! You already know you're also one of the book bloggers that I just adore!

@E: Thank you so much, E. That truly means a lot. I hope you know too you're one of the bloggers I look up to because of your bluntness and honesty -- without stepping on anyone's feet! ;)

@Linna: Thanks, Linna. You already know like I told Raila that you're definitely one of the book bloggers I just adore! Thanks for all the support :)

@Carin: Yeah, my thoughts exactly.

@Marce: I've heard a lot of couple other bloggers address this issue before, so it's definitely not just me. I guess what's happening on Twitter is what's bothering me a lot more than the hate mails I've been getting.Now if the anonymous sender is actually one of the people I know personally.. well, that is just plain horrible, isn't it? :/ Thank you though for all the support, Marce! :)

@Steph: It is ridiculous. Some people just don't have anything better to do, I guess. I think what bothers me more though is what's happening on Twitter rather than the hate mails I've been getting. But thank you for all the continued support! :)

@Rachel: Aw, thanks so much! That means a lot! And yes, you're absolutely right: usually haters don't mean a thing.

Amen to that girl! How can people be like that..we are all blogging about a common thing that we love--books! I hate when people get catty! And plus--how could they possibly say anything bad about your?! That is just beyond me! I'm sure that at some point it will be happen to me and I just hope I can be a graceful as you in all of this!

@Raila: Awww Raila, you already know how thankful I am for awesome book bloggers, like you! Thanks for all the continuous support and encouragement. You're the best!

@Bookquoter: People who have that are just plain sad, I think. I don't know why they waste their time on petit things like sending hateful emails. Like you said, who cares? They're probably bored.

@Chacic: Aw, don't be scared to get hate mails. One way or another no matter what we do, we can't please everyone! :) And yes, I am filipino.

@Adriana: Thanks so much, Adriana! You already know you're also one of the book bloggers that I just adore!

@E: Thank you so much, E. That truly means a lot. I hope you know too you're one of the bloggers I look up to because of your bluntness and honesty -- without stepping on anyone's feet! ;)

@Linna: Thanks, Linna. You already know like I told Raila that you're definitely one of the book bloggers I just adore! Thanks for all the support :)

@Carin: Yeah, my thoughts exactly.

@Marce: I've heard a lot of couple other bloggers address this issue before, so it's definitely not just me. I guess what's happening on Twitter is what's bothering me a lot more than the hate mails I've been getting.Now if the anonymous sender is actually one of the people I know personally.. well, that is just plain horrible, isn't it? :/ Thank you though for all the support, Marce! :)

@Steph: It is ridiculous. Some people just don't have anything better to do, I guess. I think what bothers me more though is what's happening on Twitter rather than the hate mails I've been getting. But thank you for all the continued support! :)

@Rachel: Aw, thanks so much! That means a lot! And yes, you're absolutely right: usually haters don't mean a thing.

@Girl Friday: Awful indeed. I think I am more irked with what's happening on Twitter than the actual emails I've been getting. But don't get discouraged because the book blog community is extremely helpful and supportive. For the most part, everyone is awesome :)

@Greg Z: Like I said, they're probably just bored. I don't really mind the emails I've been getting. It's the whole issue going on with Twitter that bothers me -- childishness and immaturity is just plain annoying.

@Lesa: Twitter isn't anonymous. It's basically like sending public shout-outs where everyone can see it. But thank you, Lesa. People can be despicable. Fortunately, for the most part, we all get along quite well :)

@Jamie: I have no ideaaaa how some people are like that. I just keep thinking this is NOT high school. Drama's not needed around here. And your blog is lovely, dear. Not to mention you have a 'Top Ten' meme.. y'know, great minds think alike ;) Haha. We should do ONE post one day and combine them! It might be fun :)

Wow. I must be completely out of the loop, because I haven't heard anything about all this hating. How totally ridiculous. Good for you for ignoring and deleting. You have an awesome blog - don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

ok im on twitter right now and i want to explode all this horrible crap bloggers are saying to other bloggers is finally getting to me, im trying to kep cool but i hate how bloggers are being so nasty, im so sorry you had to face hate mail i would simply say hey biotch F u and take it somewhere who cares! the damn nerve these people have urgh!

Oh hello. I'm Jillian and this is my own little space on the interwebs.

Random Ramblings is a blog I started in 2010. It centers around my life as an avid reader, a writer, a lover of words. Here I post reviews, raves, rants, discussions, and talk about pretty much anything surrounding the world of literature - or really just about anything that comes to mind. Generally though, I talk about random things in life that interest me and inspire me.