May 26 Life Rule #822

Have you ever had the pleasure of watching a bird build her nest? The dedication displayed with each trip out to collect another addition to the home. Respect it. Pay attention to the craft because unless you're a God damn bridge-troll you should be applying these same concepts to YOUR nest.

The porcelain throne, folks. A toilet. Allow me to specify....a PUBLIC restroom should never be utilized unless you dedicate a few precious moments to laying down a welcoming home for your ass cheeks. Build a nest! Shit, I betcha homeless people (when they're not using the restroom to sleep in) don't even sit directly on a public toilet seat. It's fowl.

Ladies? Every trip. Gentlemen? Every deuce and even the phantom trip you take during work to shave a few minutes out of your work day. Lay down the carpet. Protect your ass. You've seen what some of your coworkers can do to a bowl, yes? You can be quite certain they aren't nesting their eggs before the flight of the timber.

Be safe out there. Like a unkempt man offering candy out of a windowless van, public toilets are dangerous. You take care of yourself.

Build that beautiful nest. One layer. Two. Hell, triple stack that bitch if you're concerned about your surroundings. I myself am a two stack kinda guy.

Whatever your amount just remember those birds out there and make them proud. Nest up!

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The Flannel Axe is a Denver, CO based blog covering a wide range of topics with an effort to find humor in each and every subject. Other interests include the outdoors, food, music, and nonsense. Enjoy!