What can my toddler do now?

As your child approaches her third birthday, she is preparing to leave toddlerhood behind. You may notice how much more physically confident she is now. Your toddler may walk up and down stairs as you do, alternating her feet with each step.

Your toddler's growing co-ordination means she can be more adventurous in the playground too. Perhaps she'll surprise you with what she can do. She may be scrambling over apparatus that would have daunted her a short while ago (Sheridan 2008: 39).

Your toddler's natural character is emerging more clearly. Let her know that her temperament, be it quiet or outgoing, is fine with you.

This doesn't mean you shouldn't encourage her to explore different sides of herself. But don't force her to behave in certain ways or into circumstances you know make her uncomfortable. If you show respect for how she responds to the world, you will help her to feel secure and confident.

Why has my toddler made up an imaginary friend?

This is a normal part of your child's developing conscience and value system. Her imaginary friend can provide comfort and take responsibility for the things your child wishes she hadn't done.

Don't make a big deal about this fantasy friend. If your child makes a mess that she blames on her friend, encourage her to help with clearing up and gently remind her of house rules.

It's common for children between two-and-a-half and three years of age to invent a pretend friend. Most imaginary friends disappear before a child is six.

When will my toddler make real friends?

Your toddler is probably already starting to think of her playmates as friends. Although she's been reluctant to share through her toddlerhood, she's learning that small kindnesses, such as sharing and giving, are part of friendship (DoE 2012: 9, ICAN 2010, Sheridan 2008: 41). She may even form a special friendship with another child she sees regularly (DoE 2012: 9).

How can I encourage my toddler's imagination?

You can help her by building on what she knows already. So, if your toddler can happily stack bricks (Sheridan 2008: 36, Thomson Delmar Learning 2007), give her different-shaped and sized objects to stack. Then she can experiment to see what works best.

In fact, a variety of materials for handling and building with will fire your toddler's imagination. She will love moulding and squishing modelling clay or play dough.

Though learning about letters and numbers is a little way off, your toddler will still enjoy sorting fridge alphabet magnets by colour or size. Having fridge magnet games is a great way to keep her entertained while you're working in the kitchen.

Or, sit down with her and introduce her to bead-stringing. Big plastic snap-together beads are ideal (Thomson Delmar Learning 2007), but always check that any toys you buy are suitable for her age.

Why does my toddler have nightmares?

Your child may be having nightmares if she's anxious about something. Maybe she's seen something on TV or heard a story (DH 2009: 91) that has worried her. Quiet play that doesn't involve any screen time before bed can help to prevent your toddler having nightmares.

You could also look for bedtime stories to read to her that focus on dreams and sleeping. This will help her to feel relaxed about going to sleep and to understand that dreams aren't real.

Rest assured that nightmares are not usually the sign of an emotional problem. Toddlers do have bad dreams sometimes. Go to your child quickly when your she cries out. Hold her and talk to her about the dream.

Acknowledge her fears, but also tell her that she's safe. Show her that there are no monsters under the bed or hiding in the wardrobe. Stay with her until she calms down and starts to feel dozy again.

How can I encourage my toddler to use the potty?

Mastering the various steps of potty training can take a long time. Though a few children finish in just a few days, others need weeks or months, especially when it comes to night training.

Let your child set the pace and get used to this new, complicated process step-by-step. She can then move from one stage to the next in her own time. You could read her stories that feature potty training to keep her interested if it's taking a while (ERIC 2010b).

Your child is bound to have accidents now and then. All potty-training children do. Try not to get cross and never punish her. When she has an accident, change her into fresh clothes and calmly clean up (DH 2009, ERIC 2010a, b).

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