LeAnn Rimes really doesn’t want people to like her, does she? I mean, she says she does – she keeps going on about how sorry she is and how she was so disgusted with herself for having an affair with Eddie Cibrian – but her actions prove otherwise, because now she wants a fucking TV show to tell her side of the story and hopefully get people to laugh WITH her rather than AT her. I’m rolling my eyes, here.

LeAnn Rimes and her husband Eddie Cibrian are headed back to the small screen – and ready to face their critics head on.

“We’re doing a TV show based on our reality,” Rimes, 30, tells PEOPLE. “We’ll take things out of our lives and elaborate them and make them funny. People have been laughing at us – we want them to laugh with us!”

The couple, married since 2011, met on the set of Lifetime’s Northern Lights in 2008, and gained public notoriety when they fell for each other and ended their respective marriages the following year.

“For some reason, everyone is so interested in our lives but they don’t actually know about them,” Rimes says. “What they read is what they see. We want to be able to take control of our lives again so we want to do a show about us, about our lives, but scripted.”

The show has yet to secure a title or network, but the singer, whose new album, Spitfire, will be out June 4, is looking forward to working with her hubby again.

“That’s why we explored the idea of doing the show, to be able to be together.”

Does she seriously think this is a good idea? That people will watch it and that if they do get bored enough to watch it, they’ll actually think, “Huh, that LeAnn Rimes sure has had it tough. This show has really made me see the light!” ??? Shut up.

LeAnn Rimes recently insisted that she was done apologising for having an affair with Eddie Cibrian a few years back, but instead of letting sleeping dogs lie and trying to move on with her life, she’s pretty much written an entire album of songs about Brandi Glanville and is talking about it in interviews again. God help us all.

Little LeAnn told US Weekly that she was so distraught over the whole affair that she felt “disgusted” with herself about it – though of course, she didn’t feel bad enough to f-cking stop, so talk to the hand.

“I think I opened up the can of worms for myself by writing this record,” she tells Us. “There were a lot of things I didn’t even realize I was feeling…I needed to go somewhere and really process all of that stuff.”

“That stuff,” of course, includes the fallout from her affair with now-husband Cibrian. After Us Weekly broke the news of the Northern Lights costars’ tryst, Rimes hit bottom.

“I was feeling all these crazy emotions and feeling terrible about myself and was disgusted by myself and thought I was pathetic,” she says. (In fact, she uses some of those very words in songs on her new album. “Borrowed,” for example, looks into the darker moments of falling in love with a married man and includes lyrics like, “I don’t want to give you back.”)

In what may be the strangest Twitter exchange in ages, Courtney Love has risen from her drug tomb to stick up for LeAnn Rimes after she got into another spat with Brandi Glanville. Here’s how it went down, Brandi complained via a tweet that she couldn’t get a hold of her kids, so LeAnn responded with some hippie bullshit and then Courtney piped up out of nowhere offering to whoop somebody’s ass if they didn’t leave her alone. Oh, and Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20 got in on the action. Yeah, I don’t know, either.

Ive been trying to get a hold of my kids 4 over an hour no response to my calls ,emails or messages. Maybe twitter will work @eddiecibrian

First of all, props to LeAnn for using a spat with Brandi to promote new music… which will invariably suck, but can’t knock the hustle. Second of all, da fuck, Rob Thomas? Where the hell did you even come from? What are you doing, man? Third of all, Courtney Love is a queen and was probably high off her ass writing this, but I love her anyway. The end.

@thisisrobthomas @leannrimes send the trouble makers to me, I eat that shit for breakfast. Leanns my girl,u fuck with her you fuck with me!

Turns out LeAnn’s Twitter follower number was dropping on Friday and then in the course of 17 hours between yesterday and today, she gained more than 16,000 new fans (most of which have 0-3 tweets total). Twitter users are speculating that she paid one of the many companies out there which give you fake followers (and some can even give you fake RTs!)

Rimes is creeping up on half a million twitter followers. Her twitter feed is full of wonderful interesting tweets like, “SoHo House dinner was o-mazing! Can we say sweats now anyone?!” and “Who the HELL taught our cab driver how to drive???? Dude, you don’t pump the breaks to stop!!! #vomit” as well as retweets from fans.

Earlier in the week she tweeted,

Quote of the day from Jie who blew my hair out this evening “No drama no life” I died laughing at that one

Chris Brown is a hated celebrity but apparently not as much as Anne Hathaway (which James Franco totally gets, btw). Star magazine released their super scientific list of top 20 most hated Hollywood celebrities. Weirdly Jay Leno is more hated than Chris Brown, which is making me laugh really hard. Here’s the stupid list:

This is a pretty good list. I’m shocked to see that Kanye West isn’t on here. I love him but I thought he was one of the most hated people around. I’m not sure if he’s psyched or pissed not to be included. I also didn’t realize that people hated Matt Lauer this much. Damn. Too bad this poll was taken after Justin Bieber’s idiotic Anne Frank statement or I’m sure he would be higher up. Kristen Stewart now has the dubious honor of being one of the most hated and least attractive female celebrities. Hey, good for her! At least she’s good at stuff!

Here’s something that will shock you: Brandi Glanville and LeAnn Rimes don’t get along. They never have, they never will, nothing will ever change. There are no new developments in their relationship, nothing new has happened… and yet they’re both still talking about it. You’d think, after LeAnn made a final “I’m done apologizing!” statement last month that she was finally ready to move on with her life, but you’d be wrong, because she’s got more to say and it’s something you’ve never heard before (kidding, you’ve totally heard it a million times).

Eddie’s ex-wife, Brandi, has been pretty vocal about her feelings for you. What’s your relationship like now?

That’s where you write “insert face reaction here”.

Eek… That doesn’t sound good.

It’s been really difficult. You have to stand up for yourself and be your own person, but at the same time you have to protect these children and their hearts. And that’s a very tough balance.

Do you have any regrets?

I don’t like that word. Do I wish I handled it differently? Absolutely. No one wants to hurt anyone or put themselves through hurt. I think the only other thing we could’ve done would have been to get out of our marriages before anything happened. It was tough, and it all happened very fast. I felt so ashamed and guilty.

God, we get it. And why are people still asking about this like some new revelation is going to come to light? Just make it stop. At least Brandi seems preoccupied at the moment with her one-time fling with Gerard Butler, even though he didn’t even remember her name.

Poor, poor LeAnn Rimes. All she does is get bullied and shit upon and no one will leave her alone. Well, guess what! She’s not having it anymore. No sir, she won’t apologise and feel bad for breaking up a family and being a total prick about it. No more! The phoenix will rise from the ashes once more!

Did you feel a need to explain yourself?
You’ve done a lot of frank US TV interviews recently… Yes. People have been judging me, so I felt a need to explain and apologise, which I’ve done many times. Now I no longer feel that need. I’m happy and happily married and have a wonderful family. I’m living life as best I can – but I’m not exempt from failure and making bad choices.

You’ve been written about extensively in the US tabloids for three years since you got together with your husband. Has the coverage worn you down?
It has been an ongoing story for them. At least I sell magazines for them – I guess that’s the positive – but it’s involved some very wrong information. Sometimes I comment on it, sometimes I don’t. They’re going to write what they want to write anyway. I just read I bathe in Evian water – some of the stories are so insane. I try to let it roll off my back but it’s gone on for a long time. I have a talent, I can sing. I don’t earn my money from trying to hurt people or get in the tabloids.

Girl, we know you don’t bathe in Evian because that shit is expensive and you’re broke enough to need to sue your dentist over those chicklet teeth of yours. Second of all, you know you love every second of the press you get for Eddie and Brandi – otherwise, your ass would’ve been out of the news years ago and stayed there for good, because God knows that voice (which was average at best to begin with) is not what it once was. You need to sit down.