Why your Brain may be Melting & Honey Boo Boo…

“They” say it isn’t healthy to let things fester… “They” maintain it does a person no good to sit in a blackened room and stew, plotting the revenge and mayhem you will rain down upon all the moral degenerates who make it their sole daily purpose to annoy me at every turn. “They” create ridiculous balms & salves, incense, soothing teas, meditation and stress workshops at sketchy middle schools that smell of puberty and shame, all to combat my (our) growing dissatisfaction with the gap-toothed, spinster hick, bicycle seat smelling, self-involved, mouth breathers we are forced to tolerate during our daily interactions…

Sometimes, the only thing turning the other cheek gets you, is big fat neck muscles. According to the Mayans we may or may not all wake up December 22nd, and I for one would hate to shuffle off this mortal coil full of venom and bile. I want to start things off with a clean slate, that’s why I’m going to get some thing off my chest in the next few weeks.

I enjoy letting things fester, I want to be Statler and Waldorf, those two old guys who sat up in the balcony and made fun of everyone on the Muppet Show.

… I’ve always been very quick to judge all those about me, so it’s a natural that I be the one to stab through the heart all the artifice and overly elaborate politically correct nonsense that passes for civility.

Angry, for want of a better word can be good, sometimes the shiny happy surface is devoid of meaning and simply that… surface…. not nearly as interesting and meaningful as the gnarly, matted underbelly. To glimpse behind the curtain is to see the real goods. Allow me to be your Toto, let me pull back the curtain and show you the all-powerful OZ.

I have a unique perspective, my years of intelligence work for shadow agencies around the globe has given me access to information and knowledge you would never be privy too, facts and data, you couldn’t possibly comprehend. I’ll be careful to ensure certain filters remain intact, I don’t want my conscience littered with the responsibility of blowing your mind.

I’m wrapping up this post, you should consider it a prelude to what’s to come… the first topic, which we’ll get to next time… may just be one of the most important documents, ever… it concerns Honey Boo Boo and what she means to you.

I hope you are all well and things are going ok, it’s been awhile since I last posted and I can only assume you are feeling a bit lost without my counsel and guidance, don’t worry – I’ve never strayed too far and for now I’m back – at least until December…