March Madness odds, oddities--and Kate Upton

March 25, 2013|By Alex Quigley | For RedEye

The odds of predicting a perfect March Madness bracket (excluding the play-in games, because screw the play-in games) is approximately 1 in 9,223,372,036,854,775,808. Websites now routinely offer $1 million to anyone who pulls off that perfecto, knowing full well there are better odds that you—yes, you—could ever date Kate Upton.

The odds of picking a perfect bracket from this point on, however, are a totally doable 1 in 32,768—approximately the odds of you sleeping with Ke$ha. (Congratulations?) So don't be all that surprised in two weeks when the following all comes true.

>> Florida Crazy Go Nuts University (aka Florida Gulf Coast) ... will lose to the University of Florida. Barely. FCGNU coach Andy Enfield will be sad for 3 milliseconds, then go home to sleep on his pile of money and former Victoria's Secret model wife. But seriously, that Dunk City song is fantastic.

>> The Shockers of Wichita State will pull off a last-second win over LaSalle, and announcer Kevin Harlan will be tricked into making the three-fingered "shocker" gesture on national TV. He will not be fired, however, and will seem noticeably happier and effervescent in future TV appearances.

>> During Michigan State-Duke on Friday, Jim Nantz will be so torn as to which prominent coach to laud that he'll invent a new person, Coach Krzyzizzo. @CoachKrzyzizzo will gain over 100,000 followers before the game has ended, and Buzzfeed will have a "Top 47 Krzyzizzo Tweets of All-Time" post up before midnight.