I have a very acute sense of smell. I was born this way. With this sense, I'll associate an event, time period, location, or person with a certain smell. And if I ever smell that specific scent, I'll immediately think of its reference.

I'm known to be fairly unobservant. Oh well. But I notice smells. That's the first thing I'll notice when I walk into a room. Sometimes I use the executive bathroom at work. As soon as I walk in, I'm pummeled by an almost overwhelming smell of comforting citrus. It's beautiful. It's not like burn-your-nosehairs Lemon Pledge or hey-everybody-look-at-me-I'm-eating-an-orange orange. It's almost like an orange sherbert (acceptable alternate spelling of sherbet), sweet and comfortable.

Wendy and I got in my car last night to drive somewhere. As soon as I shut the door, I smelled a very familiar smell. Back in high school when I played soccer, my cleats would sometimes get a little wet. And I'd leave them in my bag or my locker. After about 2 days, they would develop this smell that I can only describe as rotting-grass-feet. This is exactly what I smelled in my car last night. It turns out that Wendy's jacket had been left in a chocolate manufacturing area, and the smell of chocolate from a manufacturing plant tends to resemble baby poop. This is a proven fact and has been stated by more than one chocolate manufacturer. So apparently, the smell of rotting-grass-feet is the same as chocolate-baby-poop. Interesting. #entertainment

I can't stand it when people have phlegm in their throat and continue to talk. It makes me sick. I notice it more with older people. I was recently talking to an older person who had phlegm in her throat. No big deal; just clear your throat. Nope. She continued to talk as the phlegm jiggled around in her esophagus. I could hear it almost come up into her mouth, but no, it just stayed there. I almost threw up.

My advice: if you have phlegm, take care of the problem. Clear your throat. If you think it'll be disgusting for the people around you, leave the room. Hack that stuff up. Just stop talking with phlegm in your throat. And if you clear your throat and phlegm gets in your mouth, don't make it obvious to the people around you. Don't make a disgusted face or make that sound with your mouth that says, "Ew, there's something gross in my mouth." #health

This is the story of Funkwagon, a somewhat Christian rock/jam band that existed from 1997-2000 and of which I was a member. The band consisted of Thom Deeney on vocals and guitar, Dave Hosier on guitar and vocals, Matt Hart on bass and vocals, and Bob O'Grady on drums. The band played various cover songs (The Kingsmen's Louie, Louie, Phish's Sample in a Jar and Down with Disease, Weezer's Buddy Holly and Holiday) and originals (Now I Say To You, Heaven, System Ed, The Game) at churches and talent shows around northern New Jersey before calling it quits so the members could go away to college.

BackgroundAfter experimenting with a few different bands, I accepted Thom Deeney's invitation to play a song with his band at the Kittatinny talent show. We went with Louie, Louie and decided to wear some weird costumes to help our act. It didn't help us win, but we had a good time and made some people laugh.

Before we played in the talent show, we had to think of a name for ourselves. Thom ingeniously came up with "More than Conquerors" from Romans chapter 8, though the rest of us thought it was stupid. We went with it for the time being, but I took it upon myself to gather a list of hundreds of potential band names. It was actually something I had been working on for no particular reason for several years, and I decided to share my findings with the group. The one that stood out the most was Funkwagon.

Eventually, Thom used his social connections to get us some gigs, the first of which was playing at Ben Kappler's party. I borrowed a big Marshall amp from the school (because I only had a tiny one) and we played a few songs for the cool kids. It was a very odd show, but it got us some live practice and earned us some followers.

Do you call it pop, soda, or coke? Here's a picture of generic names of soft drink by county. The blue (pop) states have an overwhelming majority. That just proves that an overwhelming majority of our country is wrong. Second place goes to red (coke). Based on their geographical location (the south), I'm not surprised. The yellow (soda) takes up a small part geographically, but keep in mind that these areas are the most populous areas in the country. What I'd like to know is what the green (other) people call this stuff. Carbonated coca mix? Lemon-lime spritz? High fructose corn syrup drink? This page has the answers (soft drink, tonic, tarzan slam, etc.). #technology

I used to like watching Family Guy. But I think it's gotten more and more like South Park since it came back to Fox. I'm not a fan of shows that exist solely to push buttons. Fox has a lot of shows I don't like. Fox is known for being very liberal and amoral. Fox is owned by News Corp. News Corp also owns HarperCollins, a book publishing company. HarperCollins owns Zondervan, a company that publishes Christian books. Zondervan publishes the New International Version (NIV) of the Bible, one of the most widely spread and commonly accepted translations of the good book. I read the NIV on a daily basis, as does almost every Christian I know.

So to recap: News Corp owns my Bible. The company who puts out Fox News, the Simpsons, MADtv, Trading Spouses, and American Idol is the same company who owns the publishing rights for the Bible I read every day. Scary. #religion