Tuesday, 17 February 2009

“He’s like the security guard on the front gate who considers himself head of the corporation…”

Hey folks,

Okay… it’s a long headline but I don’t get to use enough Red Dwarf quotes in the blog so I thought I’d throw that in. It came to mind when reading Nicolas Bendtner’s quotes yesterday about the fact that he should play “every minute of every match” for Arsenal. In all honesty, forget Ronaldo, forget Joey Barton, forget Robinho or even Antonio Cassano… if there is an example of a delusional footballer with ideas above his station and a shite attitude to accompany it, then it’s Bendtner.

First of all, and let’s just get this out there, he’s a horrific player. Essentially he’s Neill Mellor on a diet; no touch, not very good in the air, at a push you could say he’s not bad on long balls if defenders give him enough space but his home is certainly the lower reaches of the Premier League or one of the weaker European championships. It’s not necessarily all bad then, but it’s the idea that he believes Arsenal are a better side when he plays that is laughable.

Even his own team-mates think he’s shit. Bendtner was of course talking in the wake of Arsenal signing up Andrei Arshavin who, miracle aside, will probably not make too much of a mark for the side in the coming months. He has barely played since November (when the Russian championship finished up), is arriving in a foreign league for the first time ever, and doing so two thirds of the way through the season to boot.

It’ll hardly be easy but even at that it wouldn’t take too much of a stretch of the imagination to see Arsene Wenger plump for him instead of Bendtner in a few weeks’ time as he finally grows weary of the Dane ballooning shots into the corporate boxes. With Eduardo back and with Arsenal fans already wondering why Carlos Vela still stands behind Bendtner in the forward pecking order, this utter fool of a player should be banished back to the reserves soon enough.

Though, thinking about it, could it be that we were wrong about Wenger all these years? Could it be that he’s sacrificed Vela all season because deep down he’s a closet long ball merchant and he’s sees Bendtner as his Tony Cascarino to Adebayor’s Niall Quinn? It’s about the only hope the long Danish streak of piss has of staying in the side I’d say.

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