The Poetic Side of the BCS

The Muse hit me last night–hard. She kept pestering me until I took advantage of the fact that my mentor teacher (who is also in charge of the Christmas program) was leading the class in rehearsal, so I grabbed a thesaurus to aid in finding synonyms that could rhyme easily, and scribbled down this tribute to NCAA football since 1998.

Ode to an Anachronism

Oh, what a tangled web we weave,When first we practice to conceiveA way to determine a champion nationalTotally devoid of analysis rational.

Lose early in season, a team’ll survive.Lose even mid-season, they may still thrive,But wait ’til the end-season riv’lry to lose,By January 2nd, they’re yesterday’s news.

And God forbid there should ever beTwo teams in a conference winning each vict’ryAnd meeting each other in a conference finalSo that the loser drops below other teams idle.

But the most egregious aberration by far,Is to have threeteams at end of season reg’larVying for the lone conference division spotLeaving two teams surpassed by those who do not.

Tell me, what is the legitimacy hereTo perpetuate this unfairness year after yearWith teams of near-perfection penalizedFor belonging to a conference championship-sized?

Or, even worse, using this B–no “C”–S,To decide who in the conference is best,And relying heavily on opinions hollowOf coaches with no time for such things to follow.

Since teams in divisions once called “II” and “III”Can work out a playoff so effortlessly,And Division I basketball teams sixty-fourCan also succeed–can’t we have just one more?

Alas! We’ll ne’er see an FBS playoff hence,For the idea, unfortunately, just makes too much sense!

Still, the title may have done a disservice–an anachronism is something whose time has passed. What is the name for something whose time never was???