This is a place where I share myself. My thoughts on life and the wacky things that float around in my brain. I hope you find it interesting.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Crankypants

I do pretty good attitudewise.

Most days, bug guy and I share lunch many days because we are both trying to cut down on our intake and around here, half a meal is a weeks worth of food in (insert name of poor starving country. France also works because they eat small portions).

When Bug Guy orders, he makes sure he gets me LOTS of french fries because I like them. I have been telling him for weeks not to get them anymore because I will eat them if they are there and I have been gaining weight again. This weekend, my scale hit 160. again. yes, muscle weighs more than fat. but that excuse only flies so far.

I pulled him aside and told him that I absolutely DO NOT want french fries anymore. that I need him not to order them because if they are there, I will eat them. I have a problem that way. He tried to make a joke of it, but I had to tell him firmly. I don't like having to tell anyone anything firmly. And yes, it is my responsibility to control myself. On the days when Bug Guy and I don't share, I get a small bowl of something or salad and half a sandwich.

Apparently, I do not come across as a serious individual. Maybe our society does not recognize non yelling communication. I hate getting cranky with people. It makes me feel like a bitch. But I don't think I should have to yell at someone in order to drive a point home. I don't think I should have to get angry for people to believe I am serious. Maybe I just need to start being better at saying no...

Sensei, you are too kind to me. I don't think he is trying to make me fat, I KNOW he is buying them because I enjoy them. My frustration being that I don't enjoy the effect they have on my ass, but I do not have the willpower to not eat them if I can see them. I often cover my food when I am full because if I can see it, I will continue to eat it. I have told him that on many occations.I am not a nagging woman. I don't think should have to tell anyone I am displeased more than once, (or twice, sometimes) especially if I am looking them in the eye and using the serious voice, which only comes out when I am VERY serious. beyond that, it's respect issue.