Precious, Mary Lee Johnston

I had a man and I have a child. And I had to take care of both of them. Okay? Did I want Carl to touch my baby? … Because I would lay my baby, I would lay her on the side of me on this pillow. And it was pink and it had this little white writing on it and it had her name, ‘cause she was Precious. And I would lay my baby on that pillow. And Carl would be laying on the other side and then we would, we would, uh start doing it and he reached over and he touched my baby and I asked him, I said, Carl what are you doing? And he told me to shut, to shut my fat ass up and it was good for her. … I shut my fat ass up. And I don’t want you to sit there and judge me Ms. Weiss … I did not want him to abuse my daughter. I did not want him to hurt her. I did not want him to do nothing to her. I wanted him to make love to me. That was my man. That was my fuckin’ man. That was my man and he wanted my daughter. And that’s why I hated her because it was my man who was supposed to be loving me, who was supposed to be making love to me, he was fucking my baby and she made him leave, she made him go away. … It was Precious’ fault because she let my man have her and she didn’t say nothin’ , she didn’t scream, she didn’t do nothin’, she told you what I did to her, who else was going to love me? Hm? Since you got your degree and you know every fuckin’ thing, who was gonna love me? Who was gonna make me feel good? Who was gonna touch me and make me feel good? And she made him go away. So, when you sit there and you write them fuckin’ notes on your pad about who you think I am and why I did it and all of that … Because I’m in hell.