As I sit in my office at Havant & Waterlooville, I wonder what I can do to really make things look better than it actually does. It feels weird when I think about it really, since I never expected to be relegated to the 7th tier of English football. How does someone recover from that I wonder. Do I just leave Havant & Waterlooville or do I stay with them to see if they just sack me instead? I'm not too happy with the idea that I'm on my way down further than ever. Really, I have no hope in regards to success, since I really can't get any lower than I have done already.

Football is about results, something that I just did not get... how I'm even in a job still, baffles me to no end really. Still, what can I do?

I'm confused...

What else can go wrong at this point? I need to learn from my mistakes now and just go ahead and try to achieve success. But should I stay with Havant or not? I don't even know. The world seems to be against me... as usual.

It was going to happen anyway, I knew that was the case, so I'm not surprised when it did happen.

I had been sacked by Havant and Waterlooville, for failing to guide them to safety. It was bound to happen as soon as we were confirmed to be taking the trip down relegation. Still, I'm not too upset, it was almost impossible to pull off, and I did better than I expected in regards to defeats overall. It just means that I have a new chapter to my story to write out.

So with all of these jobs available to be taken, I find myself wondering where I go next. It really does depends on who offers me a job first... as well as where I feel I can go next... and avoid failing this time around. Go me...

It wasn't even been two weeks since I was sacked by Havant when I got a phone call about another job, one that interested me more than I had expected it to. Why was that the case you wonder? Well...

Barrow, the town that one of my grandfathers grew up in. It was an interesting offer, especially when I took into consideration that the team had just been relegated from the Blue Square Premier and would be expecting promotion back on the first time of asking. In fact, the media had predicted that the team would finished 2nd in this season's league.

I realized that this job would be a challenge, I mean, this side had been in the 5th tier of football for 5 years before falling down to the 6th tier. Amazingly enough, they had finished 5th in the year that they had been promoted to the 5th tier of football, having won the FA Trophy during their times in the BSP, in 2010. Still, the fact that they had gone to me, who had practically gotten two teams relegated in one year was surprising. However, the mere idea of taking charge of my grandfather's home town's club was something that I could refuse.

I had heard rumours that Barrow is actually a really depressing place to live in... which is slightly concerning.

I had a lot of pressure on my shoulders as soon as I took the job, I realized. I had people from Barrow, telling me that they had expected promotion on first attempt, as well as kids telling me to win, something that I had found hard during my first two jobs. However, it wasn't until I saw the promotion odds, did I realize just how much pressure would be on me to win promotion back to the BSP.

We were the favourites to get promoted this season. Wow, just wow. I knew that the media had put us in 2nd place in regards to getting promotion, but still, that was quite high odds. 3-1, the odds on favourite to win the league though? Far beyond what I had expected to be seeing in regards to expectations.

Admittedly, we didn't enjoy a good round of games in the friendlies, however, we were only the favourites in one of those games, which we did win. So I really can't complain too much in regards to that.

The transfer window was something that I tried to use to my advantage, however, due to the wage budget that Barrow had, it was hard to really sign players on a permanent basis, so getting the players that we managed to get on loan and one the only actual signing was pleasing.

I had been lacking in the right-back position, so when Bondz N'Gala was made available on loan, I snapped him up on loan til the end of the season. The only problem is the fact he has a really bad injury, but that can't be helped.

Danny Ireland is the only player that I brought on a permanent basis, the fact that I got this really talented goalkeeper on a free deal that last for 2 years at least, was rather pleasing. Especially when I consider that he's quite a bit better than the other best goalkeeper in the squad.

If I had to say anything, then it would be this. Paul Corry is my best signing of the window. I had needed to convince a midfielder to join the squad due to the lack of great central midfielders, but to be able to bring this guy on loan for the whole season? Never expected it at all, which is why I feel that it's so pleasing.

My confidence is coming back to me. I must admit though, that this had been something that was expected when taking charge of a team that is favourites for promotion, instead of a team that is favourites for relegation. There's a huge contrast in the strengths of the squads, we look to go into a game each week looking to win, so I tell the team to attack. My last two jobs, I was too defensive, too cautious, which was why I hardly got any wins before Barrow.

We enjoyed a fantastic start, something that I wasn't expecting to get. However, since I am going for an attacking mentality, I feel that I am able to get a win every game. However the last game of the month, against Solihull Moors was a disappointing one, since we should have won the game easily in my eyes. We've got Hyde next, a team that Barrow came down with, so they will be wanting to win themselves.

The table speaks for itself in regards of how well we've been doing so far this season. If it wasn't for the fact that we were so poor against Solihull Moors, we would have been top of the table on goal-difference, which would have been a great feeling for a manager who had spent most of his career so far in the relegation zone. It's just making sure that we can stay in the top 3 this season and hopefully, getting top spot back. I want promotion, or else I wouldn't have done my job.