I'd have to double-check with David Arquette on this one, but I'm fairly certain getting yelled at by Courteney Cox is a damn unpleasant experience. I can almost hear that already shrill voice reaching those glass-shattering heights! Somehow I feel like there would be a lot of finger-pointing, too. And if you were a guy, she'd address you as "Mister." Like, Now you listen to me, Mister, and you listen good!

Not that I really blame Courteney; she's just doing her duty as Aniston's friend.

Who do I blame? One guess ...

Jennifer Aniston, call off your dogs! Come on, girl, this isn't seventh grade. Did you hatch a plan for Courteney to ambush him right after homeroom? Are you guys maybe gonna tell all the cheerleaders that he has stamina issues or stinky breath?

While you're at it, why don't you get a Sharpie and write "slut" on Angelina Jolie's locker?

Time to fight your own battles, Jen. (Actually, time to stop fighting this battle entirely.) First you had your new boyfriend do his sad little fists-in-the-air dance around Brad to protect your honor: You lookin' for a fight, man?

Now you go and sic your pet cougar on him? Enough already!

At the very least, Aniston should get a bit more creative with her comebacks. Enlist the help of somebody who actually knows how to be snide, like Ricky Gervais or Dennis Leary.

I mean, when Cox went off on Brad, apparently her incriminating words ranged from insensitiveto rudeto disrespectful.

Ooh, harsh. No gold sticker for you on the Good Manners Board this month, Brad. For shame!