Friday, June 18, 2010

Magic Spray

Working at a Level 1 trauma center has introduced me to many kinds of life-saving equipment. The ER staff is quite versatile with rapid infusers, thoracotomy trays, and Glidescopes, among other things.

What we don't have is Magic Spray.

Magic Spray, for those who aren't glued to the World Cup every four years, is an apparently miraculous compound liberally applied to footballers following a seemingly agonizing injury. After rolling around in the fetal position in an attempt to draw a foul, the players are escorted off the field by medics who whip out their trusty aerosol cans and suddenly return mobility to the lame.

So here's my question: if it works for the fakeurs of elite international soccer, why don't we try it in the ER?

Pain in your knee for the past 10 years that you decided you could no longer handle at 0330 in a Saturday? Well, we're not going to prescribe you narcs, but if you step back here for a second and - don't tell anybody - we have a little something something that's all the rage among European athletes.

Then a quick spritz of ethyl chloride, or lidocaine, or norMAL SALine, or whatever, and send them on their way.

Email

ersecondshift(at)yahoo(dot)com

Disclaimer

I have no idea what I'm talking about, and am not to be taken seriously by any stretch of the imagination. This blog is purely an outlet for entertainment and occasional venting, and has no basis in reality. Stories presented here are fabrications or embellishments of things I've seen or heard, and patient identifiers, as well as dates, ages, gender and other details, have been changed to protect the innocent (as well as guilty).