Admiral Ackbar here, taking a moment to tell you about TheWarStore. You know, when I first started investigating the great selection and low prices offerred by Neal of TheWarStore I thought to myself “IT’S A TRAP!!” But I decided to investigate further and found that it was no trap but an amazing place full of deals just waiting for anybody to take advantage of. In fact, Billy Dee and I decided to grab some Colt 45 and order several cases of Star Wars Miniatures so that we could play out all of our past battles again and again! Ordering was a breeze and shipping was faster than the Millennium Falcon on the Kessel Run. From now on, the Rebel Alliance plans on doing all of its business with TheWarStore. We don’t bother paying full retail anymore because obviously “IT’S A TRAP!!”

TheWarStore is the only place tough enough to handle orders for Chuck Norris

My name is Chuck Norris. I’m here to tell you some facts about TheWarStore.com. Neal is the the toughest guy in the online hobby business. I taught him everything he knows.

TheWarStore doesn’t lower prices. Neal glares at them until they fall on their own.

When I play 40k, I just use one miniature. But it is me, so I always win.

TheWarStore doesn’t actually send packages to the post office. I just roundhouse kick them to your door.

When I play D&D, the GameMaster doesn’t ask me to make a ‘to-hit’ roll. He asks me to roll a ‘how far did you kick their head off’ roll.

TheWarStore prices just don’t beat the competition. It makes their store burst into flame, collapse, and then the rubble disintegrates.

I play Blood Angels. I don’t have to paint them to make them look good; I just leave them around the room when I fight people.

If I wanted, I could make GW sell to me at a discount, but I would rather buy from Neat at TheWarStore.

NEEEEEAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!Shatner: I.... can't.... believe.... how great The WarStore is. When Spock...Nimoy: It's Leonard, Bill.Shatner: Right, when Leonard Bill told me about Neal's great store I just had to see it for myself. After responding to a 10-31 in progress...Nimoy: We were getting lunch, Bill.Shatner: We beamed down to The Warstore having the computer fit us with early 21st century attire.Nimoy: [pinching bridge of nose and shaking head]Shatner: It... was... Incredible! The selection, the prices it's... like... having a room full of tribbles with a yeoman sitting on your lap. I thought this can't be real, I must be back on Talos IV and those bobble-headed Talosians are messing with my mind again. I called Bones over to check on me.Nimoy: He's dead Bill.Shatner: Those bastards! As I was saying, The Warstore was just a glimmer in Neal's eye when I was already a major Hollywood actor and a household name. I thought Neal was trying to put something over on me with such great prices, you might almost say they are too good. I called for my lawyer, but then I realized I am lawyer!Nimoy: You're not a lawyer Bill, you never even played a Lawyer.Shatner: Right. That's why I keep Spock around, you can't get anything past him.Nimoy: What Bill is trying to say is that The WarStore is out of this world.

Dear Neal, Let me tell you what TheWarStore has meant to me.... MORE REHAB YOU (Expletive Deleted!)!!!

It's bad enough trying to snort cocaine in a friend's SUV while parked outside my local hobby shop, only to find out that you have all these lil like plastic sorta like pieces like for sale like to like make conversion sorta like models for like Warhammer 40 kay. Now I like find myself shopping your site everyday like trying to find like these like little Space Marine guy parts. It's more rehab because I need like that like sticky stuff that like holds like stuff together, that gloo like, oh I mean glue stuff for all the like the plastic parts I like buy from you. I like building them, sniffing the glue, and like putting them together and like sniffing like the glue while I like....wow they are so small and like I coud use like some Doritos or Funions cuz this glue smells good when I apply it to all the parts I buy from you for my models. No, not models like runway models silly, like I mean like those lil plastic model parts I ONLY BUY FROM YOUR WEB SITE, which is kinda cool cuz I buy alot of that glue to go with all my Fortee Kay bits eye bye from you. So thank you for making me more dependent on pharmaceuticals and bad dye jobs and my eagerness to do lame-ass films like Mean Girls and Herbie. Thank You so much Neal, you'll be getting my bill for my next therapy AND REHAB SESSIONS. Lindsay L.

I, the God-King Xerxes, heartily recommend buying from Neal at TheWarStore.com for all your army needs! Why when I was planning my conquest of the known world and especially those degenerate Greeks, I could find no better deal anywhere than from TheWarStore.com. Thanks to TheWarStore I was able to raise an army of hundreds of thousands of soldiers and other machineries of war for an unbelievably low cost in Persian gold! My spies tell me that the fool leader of the Spartans, Leonidas, bought his figures at full retail, which means he could only afford 300 figures! Hah!! His army shall crumble beneath the volume of figures I was able to purchase for so paltry a sum, and his wife will live out her remaining days alongside her countrymen in my paint mines, when perhaps I will finally be able to complete that Warhammer Skaven army I've been working on - made up entirely of skavenslaves, as befits their new status. And it is all thanks to the great prices from Neal at TheWarStore.com; that and a healthy dose of my own immortality.

Xerxes, God-King of the Persian Empire

"THIS . . IS . . THEWARSTORE!” Leonidas of Sparta

When Xeres challenged me to a battle against his latest collection of Ultra-Marine PANSYS, I knew right where to go for the latest in 40K goodness! Neal at TheWarStore is the only man I trust to arm me with my wargaming needs, whether it’s far future Space Marines, modern combat or my personal favorite . . . Ancients. He does such a fine job at battling high prices and outrageous shipping costs, that I’ve stopped kicking him into the Well of Doom and have made him an Honorary Spartan! So, the next time you’re in the market for war gaming products, ask yourself not what a rich man or a king should do, but what a free man with a limited gaming budget should do!

Tell them oh internet surfer passing by that we remain here at TheWarStore Obedient to our limited budgets!

Stop reminding people of this movie!

Dear Mishter Cavuto I note with interest the fact that you are shelling tiny shilver icons of me. Although they are very well done, they do not emphasize nearly enough my raging and rampant manhood. Besides, it makes it seem like only tiny silver mortals can worship me. This might be for the best, however, as the last time I had full scale mortals worship me in Kafiristan, it did not turn out well, for either me or for Peachy.Sean C.

You know, 15 minutes online can save you a ton of money on miniatures... And not some lousy 15% neither. Neal can save you 20% off, and more! And if you really want to have a laff, call Neal up and speak with a fake British accent. It makes Neal think the GW lawyers are calling! He loves that!The Gecko

Interviewer: So Lord Vader, how is the war against the Rebel Alliance going?Vader: Thanks to the INCREDIBLE DESTRUCTIVE POWER of the deals available from TheWarStore the Rebels now stand at the brink of extermination.Interviewer: Really? At last report the Emperor was pretty ticked you lost the Death Star...Vader: With the influx of new forces from Neal, we will locate the hidden Rebel base and vaporize it completely. Who needs a Death Star!Interviewer: And what of your son, Luke? The Force is stong with him...Vader: He's a whiny wimp! Neal has shown me the Force of the DISCOUNT! Together Neal and I will end this destructive war and bring order to the galaxy.Interviewer: What about the Force?Vader: The power of the Force is insignificant compared to ability to buy miniatures at vastly reduced prices....Interviewer: Now that's ridiculous! Your faith in this new discount reIigion... ack.....my throat!! <choke> <cough>Vader: I find your lack of respect for the deals available from Neal disturbing....

If all my socialite friends knew I was a gamer, they would shun me quicker than I dumped Lohan. I'm glad my gamer friends are much nicer! But I still can't chance getting kicked out of the in-crowd. Luckily for me, I can simply buy my stuff from Neal at TheWarStore, I don't have to be photographed leaving a battle bunker, or any other game store (tre embarrassing), and I guess the prices are a lot cheaper or something, not that it really matters to me. And now that I am inmate #2039585 I have a lot more time to paint, and Neal has tons of painting and modeling stuff for sale as well, not just miniatures... that's hot.Paris H