8) When the kids get a hold of them and turn into budding tattoo artists concurrently under my nose and behind my back, it will last for days. And if they happen to draw on the in-law's furniture, said in-laws have art that last a lifetime. Or better yet, the impetus for getting NEW furniture. See? Everybody wins.

9) Did I mention the pretty colors?

10) You have all sorts of wondrous products, in all kinds of shapes and sizes and inks and tips and whatnot, so there's something for everyone. I mean, honestly? Who wouldn't go weak at the knees for a gel (GEL!) highlighter?

12) When I accidentally get you on my clothes, it's there forever. So you're always with me.

13) I talked about the colors, right? Like 80's glam! Hello? Banana clip yellow? Hell. Yes.14) When the kids forget to put the top back on you following their tattoo pursuits, you dry out in like, 4 hours. Meaning I'm forced to go to the store and buy replacements. Because I can't have a set of 36 colors with hot pink missing. 15) Meaning I have lots of extras lying around. Yay!

Say me: No. I'm not too proud to be a total whore for Sharpie. The profound irony being that Sharpie doesn't even know who I am and is not giving me one red penny for this free advertising, so really I'm just a Sharpie slut.