So Grey lost his stache in a tragic sparkler related accident, but did manage to partially recover the remnants and is having them reattached as we speak, so I’m going to fill in for him on this sacred of holidays, July 5th.

If you have ever seen or heard of the NFL or smelled a jock strap at any point, then you might want to check out what is going down over on my side of the tracks. We’ve got all kinds of hootenannies and shin-digs about to be gettin up and gettin down, so don’t just hole up over here! Venture out into the world and stop by and and take a load off on the Razzball Football porch, there’ll be lightning bugs and we’ll be drinking rot gut out of a mason jar.

Now that the self promotion is over, read my invaluable thoughts on what happened in Major League Baseball yesterday:

Freddie Freeman: Freddie freed the ball from it’s oppressor, the stadium, twice to celebrate Independence Day. Grey’s pick for NL Rookie of the Year is on pace to be in the running. Those were his 10th and 11th homers so he’s on pace for 78 home runs, oh, let me go over those numbers again, make that, hmmm, so if they play 164 games he’d be on pace for 22 home runs, and if you lop off those 2 games in which he would probably have hit like 8 homers, that would put him on pace for 14.

Mark Reynolds: Mini Donkey hit 2 homers yesterday and just missed a third and is as hot as a donkey can be sans the Tijuanian hooker. Five donks in the last 3 games is ok if you are into that kind of thing.

Rajai Davis: Could the call up of Travis Snider have set a fire under Davis? Well, two games in and you’d have to say yes. And with that kind of sample size there’s no way you can go wrong! I had high hopes for him before the season started and my hopes continued to get lower and lower until they got lower than a slug’s belly, so he can’t really go anywhere but up and going 5 for 9 with 4 stolen bases in the last 2 games is up.

Troy Tulowitzki: He strained his quad and looks like he will be out a couple days. The last time I was at the quad it was to do a little hacky-sacking. Right now they are looking at a couple days rest, but you never know! Be afraid!! Or not, it’s just a game.

Travis Snider: He was called up and quickly hit 3 doubles. Three triples would have been more poetic, but hey, you take what you can get. But be careful, this dude has a TCAP Stache.

Alex Presley: With Jose Tabata out, Alex has yet to leave the building and the with the way he is playing he may not. He is 12 for 33 since being called up with 6 RBIs and 2 stolen bases. Tabata should be back in a week-ish so don’t get too googly-eyed, but you two could have a magical week together! Send me a postcard.

Pablo Sandoval: The panda dog seems to have gotten his power back. He went 3 for 5 with a panda donk yesterday and has hit in 15 straight games and an extra-base hit in 9 games in a row. And if you find a picture of a panda dog wearing sandals give me a holler.

Emilio Bonafacio: Emily Facebone (rough translation) is sagnoffin like crazy. He has 6 stolen bases in the last 6 games and he happens to be hitting a little as well, which probably helps him get on base and thus steal bases. He is 10 for his last 28.

Adrian Beltre: Yesterday he went 2 for 5 with a home run and he’s gone 9 for his last 16 with 5 runs and 7 RBIs. If you add all that up it spells, well, nothing because numbers don’t usually add up to words.

Brian Duensing: In his first 4 starts he gave up an America, Eff Yeah-sized 21 runs in 20.2 innings. A run an inning does not look too good on the resume. Since then he has given up 10 runs in his last 7 starts for a much more career builder friendly 2.45 ERA, and a 4-2 record. The competition has been somewhat iffy, so he’s still in spot starterville, but I’m keeping my eye on him.

Ricky Nolasco: He has RickNolled anyone who even thought about owning him, but he has looked better of late. It’s a good sign that he held the Phillies to one run yesterday, but of course the Marlins don’t really care to score runs that often.

Danny Valencia:O Valencia! He’s setting the city on fire! He’s 11 for his last 25 with 2 homers and 9 RBIs in the last 6 games. Will he keep this up? Hmm, maybe, maybe not. What am I, some kind of psychic! But I picked him up in a league where David Wright is taking his own sweet time coming back. Third base is a gaping hole of doom.

Adam Dunn: Big Ass decided to go all Big Donkey for the night and hit a home run and got his second hit off a lefty all season (that raised his average against lefties to .036). This of course coincides with me dropping him. I’m skeptically pessimistic.

Mike Napoli: He’s off the DL and got a hit in his first at bat back. That’s good news.

unfortunately Bonifacio got ejected in the 5th or he could have done even ore damage.

is Freddie Freeman good enough to be a starting 1B for the rest of the season? or should I trade for someone better? not much better on waivers. Mark Trumbo is there, would he be better? I could drop Eric Thames(or Freeman) for Trumbo. there’s also Mitch Moreland, Matt LaPorta, Brett Wallace, Ike Davis, Derrek Lee, Anthony Rizzo. the only other person I could really drop is maybe Danny Espinosa since Brandon Phillips is my 2B, but I’d rather trade Espinosa.

Would you deal Votto for Holliday and V-Mart? Holliday would replace Votto at Util, V-Mart would replace Iannetta. Having the extra OF would also allow me to drop Swisher for Espinosa as my bench bat/Utley insurance. Shallow (10-team) H2H league with limited pickups, but no limit on trades.

I was offered Jose Valverde, An Sanchez p fl, and ryan roberts for colby rasmus and trevor cahill would you make that trade? 10 team keeper head to head. I would drop latroy hawkins in the rp spot. We can keep 12 players.

Possibly looking to deal Rollins for Gallardo. What are people’s thoughts on Reyes? Rollins is great to slot in for Reyes but if Reyes is fine and continues his hot season, I’d prefer having a possible 200 K starter to having Rollins on my bench.

Doc, I’m wondering your opinion on a couple things. I’m in a shallow 8 Team H2H keeper league where you typically win by not playing the best players, but the hottest ones. We also keep 5 of whatever you want (which would be Fielder, Longoria, Kemp, CarGo, Verlander as of now).

Right now I’ve got Espinosa, Longoria, and Heyward forgetting that they’re supposed to use that wooden club thing to hit that little white leather ball where those other 9 guys aren’t.

Valencia, Kelly Jo, and Hill are hanging out on the WW right now. I’ve got 4 closers for the time being (K-Rod, Walden, Santos, D.Hernandez). Would you drop any of Espinosa, D.Hernandez, Heyward for Valencia, Kelly Jo, or Hill? I’ve tried dealing Heyward, but I’m getting no bites at all.

@SpecialFNK: I like Freeman the best of those options, but he’s not an ideal starter, assuming your league is as shallow as those waiver options indicate. I’d shop Espinosa and Phillips to 2B-needy teams and see what you can come up with–maybe someone in the Lind range?

@stynyr: I’d make the deal if Gallardo’s the best you can get and your team can absorb his ratios. Reyes has eased any concerns I had with him, and made me tremendously angry that I drafted Hanley in the 1st rather than keep Reyes in the 3rd and draft Miggy. Using Rollins as insurance and to slot in is a waste of a roster spot.

@Matt Damon: I would hold Scherzer with those options. I would also bench his ass for the time being.

@EG: can you keep Wiggy to pick up one of the others? I’d roll with Valencia for the time being, but would like to have Wiggy as insurance because Valencia won’t keep this kind of crap up forever. He could end up with 20 hrs and 80-90 ribbies, though.

All opinions welcome,
I currently have Cargo and Reyes D2D. I could move Carlos Lee to get Alexei Ramirez to fill in for Reyes and Masterson for Boesch to replace Lee/Cargo. Should I make these moves? Or should I stick it out until Reyes/Cargo return? Neither Lee or Masterson are much more then depth on my team.

@Wilsonian: I could see dumping Hernandez for Valencia or Johnson in that scenario. Even though you probably won’t be keeping him, don’t dump Heyward–you might start to get some bites on him later in the year as teams without good keepers give up on the season.

@Steve Stevenson: yeah, I’m thinking about dropping Hernandez for one of them, I just don’t know which one. Hernandez only has limited value since he’ll lose the closer’s gig in a week or so. I don’t think I can drop Heyward, but he’s pretty much useless to me. Who would you pick up, Valencia or Johnson? I would then have to bench either Espinosa, Longo, or Heyward.

@stynyr: Might as well go for it. Gallardo’s not going to hurt your ratios too much, and will allow you to bench some of your underperformers more often. Adding him to that staff puts you in a strong position for Ks, and you could probably use his Ws as well (not that we can predict them, but you’ve got some dudes on bad teams there).

@Wilsonian: If I were consulting on your situation, the first thing I’d ask is are you looking good for the playoffs or is it going to be a struggle. If you’re solid overall and you like your chances, stand pat. How much would you hate yourself if one of those guys was the hot guy come playoffs and you dumped him in July? If you’re on the outside looking in, then you have to chase some hot guys now.

@OaktownSteve: It’s a small 8 Team H2H League, and I’m in a battle for 1st place. Right now I’m in 2nd place, but I’m only 2.5 games back. The guy in 3rd place is 11.5 games back. So I’m definitely looking good. I personally think I have the overall best team on paper, it just seems like my entire team slumps at the same time and is hot at the same time. I’m most likely not going to drop Heyward, but I will probably lose Hernandez for Valencia to ride the hot bat.

@Steve Stevenson: yeah, in a small league, everyone has a pretty solid lineup, so you just need to have the hottest bats/arms at the time to win. Case in point, I was tied for first last week and lost to the last place guy, more or less because Aramis blew up last week and majority of my studs had off weeks.

Desmond is my starting SS and sucks, particularly in OPS. My offense has been very good though, so my primary aim is to upgrade at SP. I also have good alternatives to Rasmus in the OF (Boesch, K. Johnson, Freese, Daniel Murphy – 3 are benched right now, so they could all absorb the starts on a matchup basis at OF and Util). Do I try to kill 2 birds with one stone in offer A, or keep it simple and go straight up for SP in offer B?

Just aquired Kung Fu Panda in a trade, and picked up Furcal to replace the SS I traded. Sandoval seems to be heating up finally after the hand(wrist?) injury, What do you see out of Sandoval and Furcal ROS?

Nyjer Morgan: he’s hitting well but not running like he has in the past. Think he picks it up on the basepaths? Hoping he can fill Ichiro’s spot for me in the future as I have salary cap constraints and Ichiro is expensive. Am I deluded?

Any thoughts on whether Strasburg makes it back to MLB this year? I just picked him up to put into a spare DL slot, and the latest updates make it sound like he could start a minor league rehab assignment soon, making a few September starts a distinct possibility.

Grey, In my RCL, my pitching staff is: Matt Cain, Daniel Hudson, Ian Kennedy, Jair Jurrjens, Phillip Humber, Cory Luebke, Phil Hughes (DL), and John Axford, Kyle Farnsworth, Sergio Santos, Frank Francisco. I’d rather have someone to play in Tulo’s spot while he’s out, but to do that, I’ll need to get rid of a pitcher. Do you see one I could do without, or should I sit tight for a day or two and see if Tulo’s return is eminent? I’ve got Michael Morse and Jose Tabata not playing so my wiggle room is non-existant.
Thanks Grey.

@Grey: Another quick one. In the ol’ (12-team) H2H I have both Snider and Joyce currently rostered. Seems a bit pointless to have both (they’re both LF and RF eligible) – who do you like in the long run?

@Grey: Snider is out there on waivers. Drop any of Boesch, Garza, or Beachy for this guy? I still have Crawford on the DL, so one of these guys will have to go at soon, unless i can pull a 2 for 1 deal quickly. Thanks