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This isn't a game that holds your hand. You won't be eased into battle against easy foes that happily run into your weapons so you can garner the experience and cash they possess. Always remember: here there be monsters! They roam the planet with not only the desire to rip you to shreds, but the means too.

I was able to choose between jumping to ledges far above my hedgehog or descending to the depths of lakes. Going one way might lead to a long series of slides that send Sonic careening into a mammoth ocean of oil. However, a different path might keep him safely above that ecological disaster.

When the game works, it means you’re running around as a dinosaur, perhaps firing missiles or maybe just smashing through anyone stupid enough to get in your way. Such moments can approach sheer bliss. You can charge missiles and then release them in a round of explosions that sends enemies flying and racks up your combo score. Then, as your opponents reel from that assault, you can step in and smash them to bits with your tail.

But before that, know that Atari Advanced contains some awesome examples of retro gaming (as well as some stinkers). Inside you'll find nostalgic renditions of Asteroids, Super Breakout and, best of all, Missile Command.

No matter which way you look at it, Chibi Robo is the quintessential Nintendo game. Developed by Skip (last seen plugging quirky RPG, Giftpia) and saved from development hell by Shigeru Miyamoto, this charmingly innocent tale is the latest reworking of the classic, pint sized hero formula.

In an uncharacteristic attempt at “cleverness,” that shambling zombie bodybuilder Jason Voorhees has figured out how to successfully pass himself off as little girls and the elderly. That’s right, one of your campground companions is actually the homoerotic homicidal maniac in a cunning disguise!

While there are only a total of seven main dungeons to explore, there are a number of smaller caves to occupy your time, including the mammoth Death Mountain — a maze-like assortment of caves covering nearly a third of the first continent. Much like many of the second-continent palaces, this region is designed to test a player’s endurance and skill, as the combination of tough foes, instant-death lava and a seemingly-limitless number of caverns to navigate ensures that only a proficient player will make it through without losing a life or two.

I’m sure this is very accurate to the actual anime, as I’d guess virtually every episode was highlighted by robot battles, but it just seemed tiresome to fight the same foes over and over again, especially in such a short period of time.

With Sengoku Cannon: Sengoku Ace Episode III, the question isn't so much what went wrong as it is, what on earth were Psikyo thinking?! Taking a popular franchise and releasing a quick-to-market sequel is nothing new. Flushing away years worth of hard work and a solid reputation however, is something else entirely.

All in all, if this latest version of Micro Machines proves anything, it is that games cannot live on nostalgia alone. Perhaps some excuse can be found in the fact that it was Infograme's first shot at the series that CodeMasters did so well for so many years, or perhaps it is just another case of a series finally running out of steam. Either way, sadly, Micro Machines is to bare thread for fans of the earlier games, and suffers from too many flaws to draw people new in.

Frankie doesn't do this. Instead he gift-wraps the ball and gives it to Roy Keane. Football fans: think on this a little. Frank Lampard -- Frank bloody Lampard -- making an error so basic that I'd blush about doing it for my local Sunday league team. Despite hefty price tags and huge collection of stats, Fifa lets the best players in the world sometimes play like pre-schoolers.

I love Guilty Gear as much as the next guy, but there's just something more viscerally thrilling about actually flying across the room and knocking some poor sap in the gut rather than just watching your fighter of choice do it from the side.

Tecmo Cup tries to make soccer exciting, but it plays like a crippled Blade of Steel (NES) or NHL Hockey (Genesis), although I have to admit I was pretty excited when my very first kick scored a goal against the opposing team. Senjyo is an exercise in 3D innovation that doesn't really work, and Pinball Action is so boring that Tecmo had to put the word "Action" at the end to try to trick you into thinking it's exciting.

The rest of it rules, save possibly the atrocious vocals in the background music (TO TAKE ME DOWN YOU MUST FIGHT LIKE A MAN!), but the lacking opposition is a flaw that can't possibly be understated. Most every battle in the original was refreshing thanks to the constantly-changing yet consistently-excellent lineup of monsters; in stark contrast, I was almost bored with many of this one's fights by the time I'd worked my way through a few hours of "guy with scythe".