Saturday, December 31, 2005

Mixed up brain chemistry

My brain chemistry is either really screwed up because of these mental illnesses, or it's screwed up from the medications I take. I'm starting to believe strongly that it's the latter. I've been taking Nyquil to help with the flu symptoms so I can sleep at night. Used to be that this stuff would knock me out for about 10 hours. With the Nyquil, Valium and Seroquel cocktail I've taken the last couple of nights I still haven't been getting much sleep and what I do get is interrupted sleep.For example, let's take last night. I took the Nyquil at about 10 pm, then the Valium and Seroquel at 10:30 pm. Feel asleep finally at around 11 pm. You'd think that would be enough meds to knock a horse out for the night, but no....I was up at 3 am, wide awake. Stayed up til about 6 am when I took another dose of Seroquel and Nyquil. I was up two hours later.Tonight I took the Nyquil again at 10 pm, thinking maybe it would make me sleepy this time. Nope, I'm wide fucking awake. So wide awake that I don't think the Valium and Seroquel mix is going to put me to sleep at all. Looks like it'll be a long nite of playing pyramids again.I did manage to do a couple of things today. Yesterday we reserved the hotel rooms for my daughter's bday party (got the manager to knock yet another $10 off the cost too...total savings is $60), so today I printed up invitations. The kiddie was impressed by how well I did them. I know she had wanted to do them herself, but I was bored so I did them while she was out at the mall with some friends. The other thing I did was get my late car note, car insurance and the violin rental fees mailed today when I picked the kiddie up from the mall. The insurance & rental ones weren't due til around the 14th of January, but I figured I'd pay them while I still had the money. Now the only bill I have left is the car note from January, which I won't get til about mid-month.I may actually even be able to get the kiddie a birthday present instead of just having the party be her present, since her father is going to pay half of the cost. Nothing big, maybe a couple of the cd's she wanted for Christmas and didn't get or the new Tony Hawk game for Xbox she wants. Or even guitar lessons depending on the cost. The sister of my brother-in-law's best friend gives lessons, and since I know her from high school, I'd actually feel safe having her teach my daughter rather than going with some stranger.I know there are still other costs associated with the party that I have to take into consideration like food and drinks, a cake, change for the arcade in case they want to go in there and possibly breakfast. Drinks for me so I can handle the girls. But I don't think those costs will be much as there are only going to be 8 girls and two adults. Most of it I'll be bringing in, except for the pizza which we'll order for dinner.I just hope the girls swim from pretty much the time they get there, minus time for pizza, til the time the pool closes. That'll be a big help to me. I won't have to worry about them making too much noise in the room, which is sure to happen.

Sid, I used to take Seroquel. It really messed with my sleep once I got off of it, but it was the best thing I did (getting off of it). It was very, very hard getting off the stuff. I believe that stuff *is* addicting! I don't care what doctors say. I could not sleep w/out it, at first. Gradually my sleeping habits returned and I've been free from the "nightmare" Seroquel ever since.