"Yet here is the rub for us as gay people: we have a choice. Unlike most minority groups, many of us have the option of 'passing', of playing the game, of seeking to become, or to remain part of the included. Sometimes this seems a matter of survival - but there is a deep seduction here too." Michael B Kelly, Seduced By Grace.

Friday, December 05, 2008

That'd be why we don't have the same rights here in the backwoods

Congratulations Victorians, who now have, among other things, the right for both partners in a same sex relationship to be legally recognised as parents.

As you know L & I have been doing a bit of stuff trying to get something similar here. There are a few desultory, one-email-a-month existing mailing lists for queer families. Emails like, 'Hi Soozi I have lost your email addy could you get in touch.' I emailed a couple, to see if I could use an existing mailing list to network about lobbying for rights. The moderators of two have said, 'Er, we don't want this to be a political group.'

Fine! I'll make my own gang. And we'll be much more fun than you.

I just don't get that 'I'm not political' line. Don't people realise that just by existing you are political? If you are not working to change things, you are supporting the status quo by default, and being an agent of inertia is just as political as being an agent of change.

I'm saying this from the comfortable seat of hererosexuality, but just because you want to have relationships with people of the same sex, does that mean that you also have to sign up for a life of political advocacy?

I suppose not, but it bewilders me. I understand people not being fussed about climate change and refugees and indigenous rights and other things that Don't Affect Us. But if you are a queer family in a jurisdiction where your family doesn't have the same rights as other families, in fact isn't recognised as a family, wouldn't you think most people would want to do something about that? For their kids? Just for, you know, the ability for the non-bio partner to be able to attend parent-teacher interviews and pick their own kid up from school without a permission note from the other mother, and, you know, to prevent nasty court cases with sperm donors or biological grandparents (if, say, the bio mum dies or is incapacitated, the bio mum's family is the next of kin for the children, not the non-bio mum), and for non-bio parents to be able to take their kids to the doctors, and be consulted in a medical emergency, and allowed to stay in the hospital overnight as 'family', and be able to take parental leave if their kid is ill, and even just to help prevent bullying by sending a message that our families are legitimate...You don't have to fight for it, I just don't understand why any parent would choose not to.