Body Image and Positivity

We are constantly comparing ourselves to someone else who is skinnier, “better”, more pretty ,richer … etc the list goes on. But is it actually realistic to think like that and to continuously compare? Of course not! I’ve talked about this so much in the past and in previous blog posts but I haven’t actually talked about being happy and actually loving your bodies in detail ! I thought it was about time to start talking about it!

I’m going to be honest, social media sucks ! Seeing loads of gorgeous girls with amazing bodies and beautiful skin just doesn’t do any good for anyone ! You end up comparing myself to them, picking out the bits of your body that you hate. For example I don’t like, my stomach, my arms, my skin and worst of all, my face. There are moments when I think I’m ugly, really ugly… It’s not good to look at all of these beautiful women and end up hating myself. It’s not worth it! The real question is how do you stop? How do you stop comparing yourself to someone else and actually start loving what you’ve been given? It’s a tricky one and I’m still trying to figure it out myself !

This might sound weird , but I always think the road to loving our bodies is to understand what we hate about them and why. I know it strange but how are we to learn to love ourselves if we don’t know what we don’t like? Eg. I don’t think I look good facially, why? Because I’ve always known pretty girls at “white girls”, I’ve never associated good-looking women to be mixed race or of an ethnic minority. Maybe it’s because social media only really portrays and advertises pretty women as being white. Which we all know is CRAZY! There are so many amazing , strong and beautiful women who aren’t white. Some of my favs being @leelajasminesule and @jnaydaily ! So why am I trying to compare myself to people who actually aren’t like me? The world isn’t black and white, no one ever said that you can only be beautiful if you only look a certain way. So omg, we just need to learn that being different is beautiful. Different bodies, different skin colours, different hair makes us all unique and the world would be a very boring place if we all looked the same. I’ve learnt over the years that I can’t compare my body to anyone else because I’m different to everyone else. We’re all different to everyone else. So there’s no way to possibly compare yourself ! Race and ethnicity shouldn’t stop you from being or feeling gorgeous.

Another thing that not just I, but a lot of people struggle with is skin. Everyone is so worried and embarrassed by their skin. Whether its because you have acne, or dry skin or an uneven skin tone… Skin seems to be one of the biggest things that people are unsure about. What do we do about it? I always noticed that people who are under confident with their skin wear makeup to cover it, to cover the blemishes that they think everyone see’s. In reality, no ones going to notice that one spot on your face even if it is really red. No one is going to see that your skin tone is uneven, and no one is even going to notice that you have dry skin. When you talk to someone and or see them, you don’t think… Oh I’m going to look at their skin. NO, you think about their actions, their personality, the way they present themselves if they are a nice person etc… You’re not going to think about whether that person skin is “bad” or looks different to your own. I only just wished that people realised that no one judges skin, no one looks at another person and thinks “oh they have bad skin…” As humans we are much better than that! We say that we don’t judge people by the cover but we know we do. However, we don’t judge people based on their skin colour or their skin in general. And if we are, we should know damn right that that is 100000% wrong. Don’t ever judge a book by it’s cover, it’s all about the content. Be confident and be happy with what you’ve got, because I bet the person next to you is just as worried as you are.

In all seriousness, why is size a problem? Why can’t you be beautiful if you’re smaller or bigger than the “average?” There’s nothing from stopping you from being that confident girl who is happy with the body they’ve got. I wished that I was taller, fitter and more athletic. My dream was always to have that “Victoria Secret’s Model” look. tThe long legs, the shredded abs, the “juicy” bum and the toned back. But… it just wasn’t realistic ! I would have to spend my life in the gym, with a controlled diet and just not really have a life. After I made that realisation, I learned to be happy with small frame I was given and didn’t feel the need to change it… I even became happy with what I had, yes I still go to the gym because I don’t want my body to change. But I’m no longer chasing a look or a size that is un-achieveable without changing or pushing myself to the extreme. I think people need to learn to be happy with that they’ve got, and I know that it all starts with not comparing yourself with others ! Life’s not a competition! Yes, a little bit of competition can be healthy, but you shouldn’t be comparing yourself to the point that you hate yourself and don’t love the body that you live in.

I’m not really sure what I wanted from this blog post. I guess I waned to share my story and my body insecurities and how I over came them; in the hope that this will help you and others become more confident and happy with the skin that you live in. It’s no t an easy task learning to love yourself, but it’s something that we should all strive towards while helping others along the way to do so too! I hope you found this blog post relatable and are hopefully able to use the tools I used and turn that body hate into love !