The Writing Muse

Monday, June 7, 2010

I've been trying to do a lot more writing recently (not so much on my blog, as you can tell...) but, here's a recent article that I wrote for "Read To Me International" that was recently e-published on the Millennial Generation. You can find it online here:http://hosted-p0.vresp.com/576708/8c6b268071/ARCHIVE

Getting Tech-Savvy Millennials Reading

"Let's face it—we live in a technologically savvy world. Today, our Millennial Generation teenagers are walking around ichatting and instant messaging while they're supposed to be studying, and highly consumed, if not already addicted, to this phenomenon called Facebook. It's no wonder reading takes a backseat to all of the latest video games, handheld gadgets, and internet phenomenon.

Members of the strongly progressive Millennial Generation were born approximately between the years of 1978 - 2000, according to Strauss and Howe; along with the web, cable, cell phones, and other gadgets galore. The oldest millennials are those just graduating from college and graduate school and entering the work force, with the youngest moving through their teen years.

So, just how do we keep our wired millennials interested and engaged in reading? The answer is easy. Keep it simple and start with the basics:

Ramp up the competition - The millennial generation thrives on competition. Pizza Hut got it right when I was in school back in the ’80s. For every five books read, we got a FREE personal pan pizza. The class that had read the most books by the end of the school year won a pizza party. Food is always a "no-brainer" incentive. Friendly competition where a student's self-confidence can soar is even better.

Make it fun - To promote reading, students and faculty at Ocoee Florida Middle School created a music video called, "Gotta Keep Reading," which got them onto the Oprah Winfrey Show. All of the students, teachers, and administrators brought their favorite books to school and sang and danced in the school's courtyard to a remake of a Black Eyed Peas song. The video is now a YouTube sensation, and the middle school received a full library makeover from Target. What could be more fun than seeing yourself singing and dancing on YouTube with your favorite book in hand while striving for a million hits?

Keep it up-to-date - After graduating as an English major and reading 37 books my last semester of college, I vowed that I would not pick up another book. Ever. What brought me back to reading wasn’t a paperback or even a hardcover – it was the new Amazon Kindle. It's sleek, affordable, and can store hundreds of books in one lightweight gadget. The traditionalist would probably have a hard time conforming to the Kindle, but if you want teens engaged, keep your local libraries and homes up-to-date.

The modern world is a rapidly changing place, full of things that are here one day and gone the next. One constant, however, is that all of us can benefit from the wisdom found in books. So perhaps the take-home message for millennials just needs to change a little ...It may not always be cool to be seen with a book in hand, but it's OK to have a Kindle."

Monday, May 10, 2010

First, I'd like to say, "Happy Birthday!" to my wanna-be husband, Justin K. C. After all these years since elementary school, I know you still want me.

Daikon Legs...

For those of you who may not know, Daikon is a large Asian radish used in many Japanese dishes. Since I was young, my family gave me the nickname, "Daikon Legs." Just look at the picture and you'll get the idea. Unfortunately, MANY, and I mean, MANY, Japanese girls are cursed with the Daikon Legs. It only hit me the other week as I was running through Ala Moana Beach Park and started noticing all of the Asian tourists walking along the beach. I thought to myself, "OMG! There are actually other girls with the same shaped legs as me!" No definition AND No ankles (a.k.a. Cankles.)

So, this got me thinking...What are other signs besides Daikon Legs that scream "She's Japanese!" Here they are...and believe me, the next time you see a Japanese girl, you'll be thinking, "Oh yeah...it IS true!" :

1)Small Breasts - If you see a Japanese girl with large breasts, she's either a) not Japanese or b) has fake ones. No ifs, ands, or buts.

2)They're Constantly Bowing Their Head - Yes, it's a sign of respect...but sometimes, I think, "I wonder if her head will ever fall off?"

3)TheyCover Their Mouth When They Laugh - I don't know what it is, but when Japanese girls giggle, they always cover their mouths.

5)They Have Bleached, Straight Hair - Japanese girls long to have beautiful blonde hair like Paris Hilton. Unfortunately, Japanese girls don't realize that when we bleach our thick black hair, it turns to a brittle, brown, horse mane.

6)Hello Kitty - A Japanese girl is ALWAYS carrying around SOMETHING with Hello Kitty on it. Always.

7)Alcohol = Red Face - Hey guys. Wanna know when it's time to pick up a Japanese girl at the bar? Her face is beet red.

8) They have single eyes - If a Japanese girl has double eyelids she either a) got plastic surgery for her birthday/graduation/wedding gift or 2) was blessed at childbirth.

10) They Get Carded At The Bar Even Though They're 40 - What's one of the best things about being Japanese? You can be in your 40's and are still asked for i.d. at the bar. Japanese women know anti-aging face creams. This is one of those rare times when CaucAsians wished they were simply...Asian.

Friday, April 9, 2010

I just spent an AMAZING week with the bff and her family. It's kinda cool saying "family" because she now has a little one of her own to take care of (besides her husband.) I went on vacation thinking that I was going to relax and lay around for 10 days. I did a lot of that, but I also came home with an overwhelming abundance of new knowledge about babies. What I learned is like birth control for me. Is what I learned and saw(!) really worth having a kid?!

These were my take-aways for the week:

1) They cost a butt-load of money.

-Your water bill goes up from having to pee every hour during pregnancy and it never goes down after you have the baby because you're constantly doing laundry. Add to that your hospital and Dr. bills, clothes, and diapers. Now, when you go shopping for yourself, you can no longer buy those $100 sunglasses that you normally would have bought when you were sans baby. You need to revert back to struggling college student days where you go with the Clearance rack $16.99 sunglasses. Sucks!

2) When you're pregnant, you're really NOT eating for two people.

-Almost every pregnant woman tries to console herself by saying she's eating for 2 people --an excuse as to why she's gained an enormous amount of weight and looks like she let herself go.

WRONG! Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you can eat DOUBLE. When you're pregnant, you're normally supposed to take in an additional 200 calories. That's HALF of a PB&J sandwich.

3) Why do Dr.'s measure the baby's head?

-It's called Baby Development. Big **Duh** moment for me here.

4) Poop smells REALLY bad...especially after eating Tex-Mex.

-Of course, what you eats affects what you're baby eats if you're breast feeding. It's amazing how this gets transmitted! I could tell when the baby ate Fritos & Salsa! I've never smelled anything quite like this before.

5) Sleep, Eat, Poop, Sleep, Eat, Poop - Repeat 10 times a day.

-It's true! This is basically what babies do all day. What a life!

6) It IS possible to lose the weight from pregnancy!

-The bff was back into her pre-pregnancy jeans just a few short days after she gave birth. Sick, I know. But, this just shows me that you don't have to look like a whale and continue to wear maternity clothes months (or even, years) after you've given birth.

7) They require attention...LOTS of attention.

-Babies know when all you want to do is watch college basketball playoffs, The Wire, or Grey's Anatomy rather than play with them, y'know?

8) Milk vs. Curds

-Have you ever smelled milk or cream in your fridge when it's old and curdled? It stinks. And yes, curds from babies is the same as curds in your milk.

9) Wardrobe malfunctions & dysfunctions

-Is your boob leaking, cause you've got a huge wet spot on your blouse? This never happened to the bff, but I can just imagine it happening to me. Having to think about what you're going to wear to make sure it's breast-feeding friendly is something I do not look forward to.

George Eliot once said, "What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories." The most special moments that I witnessed on my trip were the quiet moments that I saw my friend sharing with her newborn. It was personal and peaceful and made me realize that Yes! having a baby is worth the stretch marks, the weight gain, and the wardrobe malfunctions and that 10) It is possible to love someone more than yourself.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I had a colleague come to me yesterday and tell me, "One of the Law Professors thinks you're mean and they're going to talk to the Dean about you because they think that no 'tenured faculty' member should be treated the way you treat them." Currently, faculty at our University are experiencing a cut in pay of 6.7% due to the bad economy. If I had a magic wand, I'd cut it to 50% for certain faculty members who try to push their weight around.

Here's what else I'd do with my magic wand...

1) I'd wave my wand over any guy who did me wrong and shrivel their penis to the size of a peanut...permanently.

3) I'll wave my magic wand and make you start foaming at the mouth the instant you start talking behind my back. You know, kinda like washing your mouth out with soap...only, it taste like spoiled milk and rotten eggs.

5) I will wave my wand over all the people I work with so that they only speak when I command...and say only what I want to hear.

6) I will wave my wand over the boyfriend so that he instantly has the super powers of Chef Alan Wong/Emeril/Bobby Flay, the cleaning powers of Mr. Clean, and the ability to take me on a shopping spree when I choose (and, I'm not talking about shopping at Ross').

7) I'd grant the bff and myself unlimited backstage & dressing room access to any Josh Groban and Michael Buble concert - FOREVER! - In addition, a full time nanny at her disposal so that she can attend these concerts with me.

8) I'd wave the wand and grant myself with the ability to never work again.

9) I will instantly add 50 more pds. and cellulite to your body if you try to threaten me by trying to pull rank / race / education / or sex around me.

10) I'd stick my magic wand up your ass if you get on my nerves and continue to irritate the hell out of me.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

It's New Year's Eve! I'm counting down the hours till 2009 is over - I can't wait.I don't know why people make resolutions for the new year...people rarely keep them anyway. I've had the same resolution on my list for the past 5 years and I still haven't checked it off.

However, in the spirit of 2010 and simply because of habit, here's my list of resolutions that will most likely go ignored after January 8, 2010 (I give myself about a week to pretend I'll keep my word.) BTW, this is in no particular order of importance because everything listed is a bunch of bullcrap anyway. What better way than to start the new year with a hearty chuckle of nonsense?

Here's to a happier, healthier, and more productive 2010!

RESOLUTION 1) EXCERCISE(This has been a battle for me and will continue to be for many more years to come. Jay Leno said, "Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution.")

RESOLUTION 2) KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THE ONES I CARE ABOUT(I'm learning to stop, in the midst of the chaos in my life, and let people know that I was thinking about them or wondered how they were doing. They may not care, but at least I let them know.)

RESOLUTION 3) BE NICE(R)(Less sarcasm, more genuine sincerity. This will be a tough one.)

RESOLUTION 4) PATIENCE(I often wonder why God forgot this particular characteristic for me. I will try to let others finish their idiotic questions before I blurt out the answer. I will try to not let long lines and slow people irritate the hell out of me.)

RESOLUTION 7) GET MY FRICKEN CAR FIXED(So, I got rear ended last November. I already got the money to fix the car from the couple that hit me, but ended up buying a Louis Vuitton bag with the money instead. Priorities!)

RESOLUTION 8) FINISH SCHOOL(I will never again laugh at anyone who tells me it took them 7 years to complete their MBA. The thought of Grad School just exhausts me.)

RESOLUTION 9) GET ONE STEP CLOSER TO STARTING MY OWN BUSINESS(I finally declared to my partner, "I want to be a consultant!""Well, what will people be consulting you for?""Uh, I don't know.""Figure out what people would pay you money for and then let me know you want to be a consultant.")

RESOLUTION 10) BLOG REGULARLY(How will I ever get my book deal and be a best selling author if I'm not consistent with my ranting and raving?)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I've been having a number of brain farts recently. What are brain farts you ask? In my medium to semi-severe case, brain farts are moments of forgetfulness. Bubbles of air that are formed in your brain that **poof** release tidbits of information that you were intending to store somewhere in there. It's when your brain ceases to function normally for a split second.

Here's my list of recent brain farts...all in a time frame of 24 hours. The Ginkgo Biloba I took three months ago hasn't kicked in just yet.

(I thought it was a bit breezier than usual and finally figured out why.)

3) I drove away from the gas station and didn't recap my gas tank.

(The good news is that I didn't drive off with the pump still in my tank like how my aunty did!)

4) I sent the same email to the same person 3 times.

(Sad...very sad.)

5) Left my phone at home.

(I usually never leave the house without my wallet, keys, phone.)

6) I used the maximum number of tries to enter my pin at the ATM.

(No money = no lunch)

7) I forgot to zipper my pants after using the restroom.

(This is turning into a bad habit.)

8) I stopped mid-sentence while giving a presentation and said, "Crap, what am I speaking about again?!"

(Note to self: Never disclose to the audience that you have absolutely NO clue what you're talking about.)

9) Got off of the elevator, walked to my apartment door, and wondered why my key wasn't working. (After a few expletives, I realized that I got off on the wrong floor and was trying to open someone else's door.)

10) Found the stove on when I woke up in the morning.

(Ok...yikes!...Thank you Jesus nothing serious happened).

If my boobs weren't attached to my body, I probably would've forgotten to put them on this day, too. If anyone has a cure for the common brain fart, please contact me immediately.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

I officially joined a new group this week...Work-a-holics Anonymous. The reason why I know this is because I had a dream last night that I came home, opened the front door ran into my boyfriend who was leaving the house to go out on a date. I said, "Where are you going, I just got home?" And he said, "I've been waiting for you. We were supposed to have dinner together. You told me you were coming home at 8 p.m. and it's now 9:30. So, I'm going out with her." And he walks out the door with this blonde, hot, female attorney, who I actually had a meeting with earlier in the week!

Of course, I woke up, sweating from the rage, then grabbed my cell phone to check if I had any new messages -- at 3 a.m. I hypocritically mock people and their crack-berry's, and laugh at them when they do their "BlackBerry Prayer." But, then, I realized, OMG, I'm just like them!

I thought of a few symptoms of how to know when you're a work-a-holic. Unfortunately, if I knew the remedies...well, I wouldn't be writing this, now would I?!

1) When you start to have dreams about your significant other cheating on you because you're working too late.(I'm really sorry to anyone who has actually experienced this in real life. My heart does go out to you.)

2) When you check your Inbox on your BlackBerry/iPhone/Treo at the dinner table.(New Rule: No phones allowed at the dinner table...starting tomorrow!)

3) You don't use up all of your vacation days at work.(H-E-L-L-O-OOOO! I need to learn that it's OK to take vacation and have a little R&R.)

4) Your health starts going downhill because you neglect YOU!(When you can no longer fit into your size 6 dress -- it's time to leave work at least by 6 p.m., and get that fat ass on that treadmill.)

5) When you keep a separate set of a) make-up b) toothbrush c) underwear d) clothes and e) a sleeping bag at work.(What?! No! Don't be ridiculous! I don't have this at work...but I have thought about it.)

6) When you start to call your family members by your co-worker's names.(This is sad...very sad.)

7) You go into work on the weekends thinking that you'll catch-up before Monday or think that you'll get ahead.(I'm a sucker for this...there's no such thing as "catching up with your work." It NEVER happens!!!)

8) Your social life is your workplace.(Oh, the horror! If my co-workers became my "hang-out" friends...I'd seriously shoot myself.)

9) When all you talk about at the dinner table is work or your co-workers.(All I have to say is "Thank you Jesus for the patient people in my life who have to listen to me.")

10) You forget to pick up your child from school or your dog at doggy day-care.(I'm already super forgetful. Add on the stress from work, and I will seriously be arrested for neglect.)

Monday, August 31, 2009

I have a friend that says that when you use the "F" word, it just gets the point across. Sometimes, such simple words like "darn" or "crap" or even "$h!t" seem so inadequate. I agree...although, I try to save that word for very serious and extreme measures.

I've been having a lot of "WTF" moments lately...mostly at work...and, I mean, A LOT! Here's what "WTF" does NOT stand for: World Taekwondo Federation, Wednesday Thursday Friday, Welcome To Finland, Wow That's Fun!, or Where's The Food.

Here's my list of "WTF" moments:

WTF #1) I'm doing one third of YOUR job responsibilities, someone else is doing a third, you're taking all the credit for it AND you're getting paid how much more money than us?!

WTF #2) Donald Trump allowed Heidi Montag Pratt to perform at the Miss Universe Pageant and I sat there and watched it?!

WTF #3) Oh no you didn't just go out to dinner with the four of us and put in just enough money to cover your meal and NOT leave enough money for tip!

WTF #4) Did you just come into my house and help yourself to a Coke in my refrigerator without asking?

WTF #5) I let you cut in front of me on the Freeway and now you're driving 20 miles BELOW the speed limit?!

WTF #6) You're calling me a bitch and I don't even know you?!

WTF #7) I wake up on the day of my BIG event and have a HUGE, white pimple on the tip of my nose.

WTF #8) I know you didn't just let your dog poop in front of my house and not pick it up.

WTF #9) Did you just use the last piece of toilet paper, leave the roll, and make me get off the freaking toilet to get a new one?

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Step aside Pierce Brosnan, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. I've got a new list of men who are on fire. Believe it or not, I'm rarely turned on by just looking at a guy. But, for some reason, I tend to get hot and bothered when I see any kind of photo of these men. Of course, most people will not agree. My taste in men is varied...I mean, one of them is rumored to be gay, but, hey, that's OK!

Here's the list:

1) Josh Groban - Need I say more???

2) Steve Byrne - Funny men turn me on.

3) Justin Long - He likes Mac's, I like Mac's. It's a match made in Heaven.

4) Luke Wilson - Yum-O!

5) Bradley Cooper - He may not be into me, but I'm into him.

6) Ryan Gosling - Damn you, Rachel McAdams!

7) Russell Wong - Asian Sensation

8) Michael Buble - Call him "Irresistible."

9) Anderson Cooper - He may not have taste in women, but the man knows how to dress.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

I've always told my friends that if I ever had anything in my teeth, I'd want them to tell me. I think...if they were really my friends, they would spare me the embarrassment, right? Well...at least that's what I hope. I came up with a list of other things I'd want my friends, or anyone for that matter, to tell me if one of these applied to me.

Sure...they can laugh about it at first. People laugh at me ALL THE TIME. But, don't let me go all freaking day with one of these malfunctions.

3) Skirt tucked in to the panty hose...I rarely wear panty hose, but this applies to my panties as well.

4) Makapiapia a.k.a. eye boogers. Yuck!

5) Sometimes I wonder, "Can't they feel that they have a booger hanging out of their nose?" Ummm...NO! You can't always feel the booger coming out of your nose, so please, people...TELL ME! It's not embarrassing for you, it's embarrassing for me!

6) I've been known to leave my fly down, so let me know if you can see my undies because my zipper is down.

7) Unbuttoned blouse. Contrary to popular belief, I really don't like my cleavage showing. Ok...so, maybe I don't have cleavage...but still, tell me if I left a button unbuttoned. I'm really super conservative and most likely, I didn't leave it unbuttoned for a reason.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I'm sure i've told this story to many people and, I'm gonna tell it again because I came upon a website that I think is hilarious.

I was making my way to Texas from California one year and I see this big 'ol, fat man with a cowboy hat and boots on coming down the aisle of the airplane. I thought, "Oh crap, I hope he doesn't sit next to me, cause if I have to pee, I'm screwed...I'm sitting near the window!)

Sure enough, the man plops his briefcase on the seat next to me, takes off his coat, puts his carry-on in the compartment above, gets settled and sits down. I try to make very little eye contact...I hate small talk...but I can tell he's looking me over and he says in a loud, booming SLOOOOWWW southern drawl, "Howdy little lady. Do-You-Speak-English?"

I thought of two things after this incident:

1) We Asians all look alike to Caucasians and 2) Isn't it funny that when FOB's say the word "English" they say, "Engrish"?

Check out www.engrish.com It's a super funny website dedicated to English mistakes on foreign advertising and product design.

I'm baaaaaackk! People have been asking me where I've been. No blogging for at least two months! Thanks to all of my fans for remaining so faithful and checking my blog every day...All three of you.

So, since everyone's been asking me why I haven't been posting, it got me thinking of a whole bunch of other things that make me say, "huh?" or "yeah, why is that?" etc. Warning...some of these are REALLY stupid, so, just go on to the next one after you roll your eyes.

Here they are:

1) Why is it that people say "I slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

2) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

3) Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

4) Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

5) Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? (BTW, I have an entry on "The Hemmorhoid")

6) Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead? Men do this ALL the time.

7) Whose idea was it to put an "S" in "Lisp"?

8) If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

9) When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' when really, it isn't all right. Why don't we say, 'That fricken' hurt. Why don't you watch the hell where you're going!' Then, give them the stink eye, of course.

10) Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's fallingoff the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I have this love/hate relationship with 2 TV shows and it infuriates me everytime I watch it. But, I find myself watching it ALL the time, no matter how many times I tell myself that I refuse to watch it anymore. I know exactly when it's going to be on, everyone's names in the show, popular blogs that discuss the shows, the theme song or opening lines...Ugh! Can someone please take away my DVR?

Dog the Bounty Hunter

What is it about this Chapman family that resembles trailer park trash that I'm sickly addicted to? It's not Dog's mullet, or Beth's enormous, watermelon sized boobs. I definitely don't find it amusing to listen to cuss words being beeped out every other word that comes out of their mouth when they go on a bounty. I don't like the "wanna be" cop like attitude. Is it that I can relate to Beth's bitchy-ness? Well, she definitely wins the award for this one. Could it be that all they do is revoke bonds just to get 30 minutes worth of a show? I can't stand the fact that they pray to God before they go and catch a guy and 5 minutes later call him a "Mother Bleeping Piece of Crap."

I can't explain it. Please spray me with mase and knock some sense into me.

Jon & Kate Plus 8

I get really annoyed watching a kid whine and cry and scream and yell, let alone 8 kids. It saddens me to see the Gosselins self-destructing right before our eyes. It pains me to see Maddy and Cara starving for attention by throwing hissy fits on every episode. It irritates me to see Jon and Kate allowing their young children to become victims of their own greed. I thought I had an attitude but Kate is in the running for the "Attitude of the Year" award. I just want to cut off that awful hairdo that Kate sports...asymmetrical in the front and spiked in the back. They are now considered "Celebrities."

I can't explain it. Please hand me a pair of scissors so that I can either cut off Kate's hair or poke my eyes out.

I can just hear my brother saying, "Suckah!" Yes...I admit, I was inspired by the P90X infomercial of overindulgent men and women losing tons of weight and getting totally toned.

Who wouldn't want a six pack. I mean, I've had a one pack my entire life, and most recently added on a major flat tire, but, I can still hope for those washboard abs, can't I?

The first step is to take a "Before" shot. If you thought I was going to post that, I'd need to call you "Suckah!" I'm going for the P360X. When I finally get those washboard abs and when my arms no longer wave back at me when I raise my hand to wave to my friends, then and only then will I post my before and after shots.

Did I mention that I received this program in the mail over a month ago? I have yet to pop in a DVD to begin the exercise regimen. Did I also mention that one of the warnings that they have in their book says something to the effect that only those who are used to military drills and exercise can undergo this program?! What the f?

Many people have been asking me recently what my Myers Briggs personality type indicator is. So, I took the test and whadda ya know...I am an ISTJ. Not surprising. What was interesting, though, is reading specifics about my personality. Everything that I mention in my blog are facets of my personality. Here are 10 things that I found interesting and true:

1) We're quiet & reserved individuals-We tend to be organized and methodical because of our reserved & quiet nature. At the same time, we can have an offbeat sense of humor and can be fun to be around at times :-)

3) We're dependable-We have a strong sense of duty and therefore, tend to work long hours. You can count on me to get the job done...on time.

4) We're uncomfortable expressing affection and emotion to others -I'm not so much the huggy type and tend to have a wall up. With my family and close friends, though, I'm a little more mushy.

5) We're not naturally in tune with our own feelings and the feelings of others-Please forgive me if it takes me a while to figure out that I hurt your feelings or pissed you off. It takes me a while to figure out my own issues.

6) We're hard workers-We put tremendous amounts of energy into a task that we believe in. We prefer to work by ourselves rather than with a team, however, we can work well with others...IF we have to.

7) We have a sense for artistic appreciation-As many of you know, I love the arts.

8) Under stress, we fall into "catastrophe" mode -I'm not sure if I actually fall into "catastrophe" mode...I tend to work pretty well under stress...I have my serious face on and no one better mess with me. But, in the end, everything turns out pretty well. I hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

9) We are easily frustrated by the inconsistencies of others-This might be one of the biggest frustrations of my life.

10) We are vulnerable to criticism and have ice in our veins.-Yes & Yes!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I celebrated my 30th birthday yesterday. I had a little meltdown two days before because of the realization (and reminder) that I had accomplished pretty much nothing in the first 30 years of my life. But, celebrating my 30th will be something that I will remember for a long time. It was a special one as I received many emails and calls from friends and loved ones wishing me a special day. I didn't even realize some people knew when my birthday was! I enjoyed the day with one of the only people I would've wanted to be with on my birthday. We drove around the island and ate fantastic food. I was reminded, though, that while I may think half of my life has passed me by, it really is just the beginning. I have much to look forward to in my next 30 years, that I can still accomplish most of the things that I originally set out to do. Or, better yet, I was reminded of Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I need to focus my next 30 years on my testimony for God...not for myself. I need to let the Lord take control of my life and stop trying to control it myself. Perhaps that's why I haven't accomplished any of the things that I set out to do...because it was simply my goal, not God's goal for my life. So...HORRAY! I'm not a total failure. There's still hope through Jesus!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I've been called many things during my 29 years, 11 months and 3 days here on earth. But, nothing like being called Jenn "the homorrhoid" Hee.

You might be wondering why someone would call me a condition related to constipation and diarrhea. Believe me, I wondered the same thing. I thought, "How dare they! Hemorrhoid's are irritating little things that swell and inflame your veins in the 'okole (butt/rectum/ass/behind). And then, it hit me like a ton of bricks. They weren't calling me irritating (although, I know I can be at times), but rather, I tend to get highly irritable, just like a hemorrhoid!

So, what's the cure for a hemorrhoid? The real severe cases require the rubber band treatment (gross!), injection therapy or laser surgery. I'll take the enema. For now, since my case is low-medium severity, I'll just work on flushing out my dirty insides and cleaning out the junk to get rid of my hemorrhoidal behavior.

Monday, May 4, 2009

"As the two friends wandered through the snow on their way home, Piglet grinned to himself, thinking how lucky he was to have a best friend like Pooh.""Pooh thought to himself: 'If the pig sneezes, he's fucken dead.'"