Braves fans are angry and are considering chopping up the team into small pieces with their foam toys.

Math has never been our strong point, but we think that New York’s magic number is 7.

Sure the Mets have many good players, like this fresh-faced 23-year old named David “the price is Wright” and Carlos “Vega” Beltran. But we’re about 96.9% sure the reason New York is now 19 games over .500 and in control of the NL East is because most of the players took their turn with Anna Benson during the offseason.

Editor’s note: Reader JMC raises an excellent point. The Braves have not won the NL East 14 straight times. They have won the division. They played in the NL West before 1994’s re-allignment.

In other news: Miami evened the series with Dallas after the Heat literally lit the city of Dallas on fire.