Some say we’re getting close to a cure for cancer. That’s great news in a world where billions of dollars and millions of lives are consumed with battling this disease. And yet, with all our conventional and alternative medical and technological wizardry, sometimes people are cured, and sometimes still they’re not.

I’ve had friends die from cancer. I have friends currently dealing with the disease, some for the second or third time, and I know many who’ve outrun it. I’ve been through it and hope to never have to again.

Regardless what the future brings, I know it is possible to heal your life and live or die with this disease. So I wrote the following for those dear to me and those I don’t yet know who may sometimes forget the joys of life amidst their struggles against time. And because these are words to live by, they are really meant for all of us, whether we have 100 years or just 100 breaths to go.

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If I could hold your hand and look you in the eye right now, I would.

This culture we’re in sees death as failure and disease as weakness. It’s just not true. You can’t fail in the school of Life.

There’s something so much bigger going on here. You have no idea how your life’s journey, just as it is, has affected the world. Remember the butterfly effect?

All that stuff about creating your own reality? Please toss the parts that smack of guilt. I think Christiane Northrup said it best: “For healing to occur, we must come to see that we are not so much responsible for our illnesses as responsible to them.”

Remember, cancer is just one episode. Who were you before? Who will you be after? Who are you now?

I’m truly grateful for your stepping up and dropping down. That is a gift beyond measure. When you look fear in the face, you make it easier for all of us.

I remember the times our hearts broke open and mended back, stronger. I remember your warrior spirit and the moments we laughed till we cried. I remember your kindness, your tenderness and vulnerability, your courage to plan yet another adventure when what was unknown was way more than what was. Is that not always so?

How we remember ourselves is our choice.

It’s okay not to be perfect. Welcome to the human race. No one is to blame. And NO ONE HAS FAILED. Including you.

Death is not the enemy. Our fear of it is. And remember, you don’t have to wait till your funeral to play your favorite music.

Whatever you need now, permission granted. Not that it’s mine to give. It’s yours to give. I am just reminding you.