Nobody knew how it happened, but we knew when. It was the day a van mounted a pavement in London and headed toward a crowd of tourists.

We were shown it a hundred times on television and it just looked like a fake. The van hurtled towards the crowd and as it struck the first victim, the van popped into a cloud of bubbles, leaving the driver skidding along the pavement on nothing more than his Levi’s. They beeped out the swearing of the guy the van hit, who would’ve been the first to die, and he swiped at the ‘terrorist’ with his umbrella more in fright than in anger or frustration, the umbrella passed clean through the terrorist’s torso and the upper half of his body crumpled to the floor leaving his legs and stomach still sitting there.

That was three months ago, and there have been no broadcasts since day three. Somehow weapons are useless, in fact, the more heavily armed you are, the weaker you are, last week i saw a mime artist forcing some bikers to pick up their weapons rendering them powerless.

Children are feared beyond all, I mean, what can you do against a pointed index finger and a cocked thumb? and don’t get me started on booger flicking!