WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS!!

The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison," and he said , "If you were my wife, I'd take it."

Gladstone, a member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, sir," said Disraeli, "On whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." Stephen Bishop

One of my favorites was the story of Dorothy Parker and Clare Booth Luce, arguably two of America's great twentieth century literary women going to a party. During the party they both argued aloud with each other on a great many topics in front of all assembled. At the end of the end of the party, as they were both leaving, they came to the front door at the same time. Clare Booth Luce stepped aside, saying to Dorothy Parker, "Age before beauty". Dorothy Parker then walked through the door, saying, "...and pearls before swine."