It seems like I haven't been cooking lately. I have, really, but I feel like it has been nothing so exciting to warrant a place here in the chronicles of CakeWalk. All week, I've been wondering if I'd make it to my Vegan Monday, and technically, no I didn't. I have eaten a fair share of vegan foods, namely smoothies and vegetable drinks. I am finally a proud owner of a VitaMix, and feel like I've never eaten so many raw fruits and vegetables in my life. I do have lots of new vegan recipes bookmarked, but haven't embarked on them officially and I'll tell you why.

Part of the reason is that I've been reading American Wasteland by Jonathan Bloom (he also blogs at Wasted Food). Well, to be honest, I started it, got a couple chapters in, and then have taken up reading three different bread baking books, trying to see if I can calculate my own flour to water ratios to improve my final bread product... But what I have read so far has changed my cooking habits forever.

I'm always looking for the next thing I can make, and I confess that sometimes this leads me to more waste than I'd like. I have been better this year; it was a bit of a New Year's Resolution last January to make less and consume more of what is already made. But this book sums it up in the very first pages, in fact in the first sentences of the introduction:

Every day, America wastes enough food to fill the Rose Bowl. Yes, that Rose Bowl - the 90,000-seat football stadium in Pasadena, California. Of course, that's if we had an inclination to truck the nation's excess food to California for a memorable but messy publicity stunt.

As a nation, we grow and raise more than 590 billion pounds of food each year. And depending on whom you ask, we squander between a quarter and a half of all the food produced in the United States. Even using the more conservative figure would mean that 160 billion pounds of food are squandered annually - more than enough, that is, to fill the Rose Bowl to the brim. With the high-end estimate, the Rose Bowl would almost be filled twice over.

I will say that the rest of the book so far is equally engaging, taking me on a journey from farm waste to supermarket waste, and finally to neglect in the home. I know that a heated political debate could ensue, but I think it's just criminal to have so much waste when we have a real need to feed people. Signs are everywhere in our cities for food pantries, Food Network frequently endorses Share our Strength, and it's Great American Bakesale (sponsored by refined sugar company giants) to help hungry children in our own country. We have this idea in the US that everything needs to be beautiful and unblemished to be consumed - EVERYTHING in our marketing and media focuses on the beautiful, the young, and the airbrushed. Take a head of iceberg lettuce, or a 18 year old model wearing Louboutin shoes, and the treatment is the same: we don't want it if it isn't hyped and wrapped and neatly approved into our massive consumption lives. And we have real need for people who are hungry. (But hungry for fruits and vegetables, or hungry for pre-packaged meals? That is a whole different debate, as well.)

Now, I know that most people I know don't fit into this generalization. We food shop locally, preserve much ourselves, and limit packaged food purchases. But as my Mom was just telling me, gone are the days when the Grandmothers make a soup out of the dregs of the celery.

My Mom's (maternal) Grandmother was the first generation born in the United States. Her name was Laura, but it was supposed to be "Lottie", her mother's accent too thick for the writer of the birth certificate to understand. My earliest memories of soup were from her summer home in the Northwoods, just down the road from our house. Her pea soup, most clearly, I can still taste on my tongue. Surely, it was nothing more than a ham bone and split peas, maybe some onion, but it was so good that it has stuck with me all of these years, and no soup I've ever made has rivaled it. Her husband, my Great-Grandfather Casey, was a DP, also from Poland. Food was especially precious to him, as was his American citizenship. He was detained in a camp during WWII, and when he finally came to America, he brought with him a heel of bread that he kept until he died - a memory of the scarcity of food he came from and the bounty of his new country.

I was very young when I knew them, but remember all of the stories: their foraging for mushrooms that led to the pumping of stomachs, my Grandfather's impossibly thick accent, the rabbit hutches where they kept the pets that I later found to be sources of food, the bonfires and family times that were so important to them both, and ALWAYS contained food.

Waste was never a part of their lives. My Mom would bring us to their little cottage and it would appear there was nothing to eat. Moments later, somethings were made from nothings, and I'm now remembering this daily in my own kitchen. I would never tell someone else what he SHOULD be eating (except my Husband, of course), and would not support Big Brother stepping in to take hold of our food consumption issues. But this waste! It's hard for me not to cook, or to not have many wide, open mouths that want to eat. But, I've been trying to take pleasure in eating my leftovers, and living more reliably out of my home canned pantry.

The trick, I've found, is trying to make much less. My Husband isn't a fan of leftovers, but some things I can get him to eat a second time. Of all of my bread experimenting, I haven't had much waste, but turned what I did have into breadcrumbs. (An infinitely more exciting task since I just got my very own VitaMix! The crumbs are uniform and even the hard crusts are punished into complete dust, and I can't wait to coat something in them and panfry...)

Dinner tonight will be the end of this bread, turned into toasted panino type sandwich. Glamorous, no, but it will be tasty, and then I can make another loaf of bread!

This one, I kneaded until it felt smooth and elastic. I haven't been making much "kneaded" bread lately, in part because I wasn't sure my starter was vigorous enough. Now, I am certain that my starter is active, and strong enough to lift dough. I started this bread at 11 AM, and it rose, was shaped, rose again, was baked, and came out of the oven at 10:30 late last week. One more notable thing about sourdough, is that it seems to have preternatural ability to be fresh. I made this on Thursday, and though not technically "fresh", it is still absolutely tasty - especially as toast. I used this recipe from King Arthur Flour, but omitted the commercial yeast and sugar. After all, I went through the trouble to raise up the starter, I don't mind waiting around for it to do it's job. Yesterday I was reading in Bread by Jeffrey Hammelman, that the incorporation of air into the dough is essential to the raising of the dough. You can do this too much, and run into problems, but I found that this kneaded loaf did rise more quickly than the wetter doughs I just mix and let rest for 18-24 hours. I feel I have volumes to learn, but that's half the fun.

Fall also brings with it low-light photography that challenges my camera...

I also decided that the brotform is best suited to kneaded, 'drier' doughs. I had no problem tipping the loaf out of the basket, and then carefully lowering it into my dutch oven by hand. I was even able to slash into it with the lame, another KAF purchase that was going largely unused. My next several loaves will likely be kneaded, and I may even try to approach my scientific side and pay more attention to the temperature of dough, air and water and the ratio of water to flour.

It still completely amazes me, and it probably always will, that bread is flour and water. That's it. A union that immediately begins the fermentation process when combined, and can satisfy the world over. Almost no bread is ever "inedible", as well. I baked kind of a brick last week, since the dough was too wet and stuck to my brotform so much that all of the air was knocked out of it. It ended up a flat discus of dough, and was still edible. Honesty permits me to tell you, that we ate a little of it, but then I ditched the rest. Waste. That's the price I pay for bread snobbery - and for never being hungry enough. I should not have thrown away that loaf. My Great-Grandparents wouldn't have. My Gram wouldn't have. My Mom was here, and was eating it. But me, bread-snobbish me, decided that I needed to make a better one, and tossed it out so I wouldn't have to think about it.

On my last library trip, I also picked up One Magic Square, in hopes to learn a bit more about packing more into my raised beds next spring. The author, Lolo Houbein, begins the book with her own family history in the Netherlands. As a child in 1944 and 1945, her family survived a famine - and she tells of eating grass scavenged from beneath the snow to "steady her stomach". At 5 foot 8 inches tall, she withered to 75 pounds, but survived. She has tended her own food sources ever since, and inspires others to grow at least a small percentage of their own foods. Another reminder never to take for granted all that America's food has to offer us, and to be responsible and diligent with what we do have. That probably includes that loaf of brick-ish bread I tossed out.

As Thanksgiving approaches, I am thankful for enough food and the knowledge of how to prepare it. I'm thankful that I am the only one in my house that likes squash, and I have 9 (!) of them to figure out how to eat myself thanks to my CSA the past several weeks. I am thankful that as the season grows colder, we can heat our house (and that my baking bread warms the kitchen so that I keep the thermostat a bit lower). I am thankful for my picky-eating family, and never abandon hope that they will someday also like things like squash. I am also thankful that I have many everyday reminders not to waste food.

Currently Reading...

Photo.

This is probably the most common sight around my table. My mantra, “if in doubt, make tacos”, is indelible writing on my soul. I’ve got to get around to asking @thesteelfarmer if they can repair my cast iron plancha that I cracked. I’m still using it imperfect, but I think about it every time I make tortillas. (Basically I think about it at least once or twice a week.). #tacosporvida #tacos #fridaynight #realfood #homecook

I got 7 boxes of books packed tonight, after deciding not to be overwhelmed standing in front of the first bookcase, acting like 45 days in a box was somehow going to separate me forever from those friends. I actually hadn’t held my 1972 Webster dictionary in quite some time, and it felt familiar and weighty. Classic in denim blue and gilded in gold, I wonder what words are in there that have somehow gone out of style with newer editions. I found a 1929 copy of Enough Rope by Dorothy Parker, and spent a quarter hour leafing through it, taking note of how someone had checked key poems. Coincidence? Maybe not. And a drawing of an eye twenty years old, on a post-it as a bookmark. Careful eyes may note the long strands of hair likely belonging to the girl who left it for me. (She recalled drawing it, but I felt like it was the first time I’d seen it, strange because I do have a good memory. It makes me wonder what else I’ve forgotten that collected books might reveal to me...) #packingbooks #books #dictionary #merriamwebster #dorothyparker

Workday bake. I always think I won’t be excited about a new loaf, but fortunately that experience has yet to hit me. Each one is like a new living thing, come to take up residence for a week. Let my epitaph be “if you have bread, you have dinner.” #bake #sourdough #bread #progluten #wildyeast #breadscoring #acaseofthetuesdays

I don’t come from a family that has photos all over our walls. There are a few, carefully placed, on my parent’s’ walls - mostly taken after grandchildren happened and babies and school pictures started creeping in. Our senior pictures hiding in cabinets, there if you’re really looking. Black and whites of grandparents lurking, but not obvious. Most of us are camera shy and that’s okay. I was so full of happiness at the sight of my family yesterday that I could barely stand it. And even happier that we were all enjoying the moment so much that nobody even took out a phone once and snapped a picture as proof. These memories, made the old-fashioned way, tend to linger in the brain pan the way fleeting social media pictures could never dream to do. Today before I had to drive back my mom lifted down the copy of the Better Homes and Gardens cookbook that she got (I think) as a wedding gift 45 years ago to show me a white cake recipe that she’d made recently that I tasted and loved. We didn’t have Joy growing up, we had this all-encompassing tome instead. My mom and I talked casually about the recipe and pictures in this book, how both of us have always wanted to make or even just eat petit fours, and how neither of us ever have made or eaten them. After she left the kitchen to get ready for church, I realized that I wouldn’t have a picture of my mother today, but I have this book and thousands of conversations. My whole lifetime of advice and the search for the best white cake recipes to embed in my memory. That all the beauty and generosity, the practicality and steadfastness my mom has, can be held in my hands if I want. My memory holds such a clear picture, and it won’t ever fade. #mothersday #betterhomesandgardens #homecook

I maybe omitted that when I made the Lillet spiked sabayon for @the_bojon_gourmet’s trifle I served at Easter, the first batch was cooked over a rigged situation that wasn’t ideal and I got water in the custard. I was so upset. So I separated another 8 eggs and began again with a better rigged situation. I froze the questionable sabayon, figuring that it was nothing if not exceptional ice cream base. I added heavy cream, and mixed toasted pecans. It’s ridiculously rich. It’s a velvet lounge coat that very nearly warms you up as you eat. 😍 #icecream #homemade #wastenotwantnot #glutenfree #frozencustard #wiscogirl