Progress

Monday, 7 January 2013

Another week

Hello again.

I was right - I didn't write in the weekend. Honestly I was too happy to really care about anything except being at ease. I am guessing that is going to be the case for most of the time.

We went to see Hobbit. It was really amazing. I loved the movie very much and weirdly enough I was not disappointed at all, even though I had very high hopes for it. I would really suggest you go and see it. Preferably in the 3D with the high frame rate. Made a huge difference.

I love being home. If I could, I probably would step out just minimally. I think that I can get almost all that I want at home too, so I don't really need to go out. Maybe to the shop or movie or something along the lines, but not really for much else. I mean, my two friends are in Latvia, so I see them just some two times a year for a day or so each. And my best friend is right here with me and when he is home, I am mostly also home and that is perfect. All I want is to be with him in our den. And now I am not home, but am sitting here in the middle of an office and am slightly freaking out, because it is too much people around.

I really don't like being around people.

I am trying to just focus on the fact that half of the day is over already and that means that I will be able to head home relatively soon. I like that. I wish that I could go home sooner.

I hate Mondays.

I hate knowing that I still have a whole work week in front of me and there is nothing that I can do about it, but endure it. I know that I will, but I don't want to live for just evenings and weekends. I would want to love what I do. I really wish I could.

I think that I am going to write the Henley Operatic society. That will mean that I would be home less, but that also would let me do something that I love. I don't like the thought of staying away from Andy even for a minute though. But unfortunately I can't have it all. I mean, if I were singing in a theater, I would still have to take additional time away from him.

Anyway.

I think that I am jumping ahead of myself there anyway.

Maybe it all will work out in the end and I will be able to do what I love.

Maybe.

Until then all I have to do is endure and to focus on my breathing when a panic attack comes.