and this is where i say it all...

Saturday, May 07, 2011

For this week I’ve realized that I’m stressed about a lot of little things, and these many little stresses kind of accumulate and giving me an even bigger stress. Stuff like how my bicycle’s lock key snapped last Friday, how hot the weather temperature is lately and many other things.

I guess some of my course mates have it easy. I feel like they don’t really understand how difficult it is for us people who are studying abroad from our hometown, without our parents and close relatives. I’m just glad I have Champ as my good friend because since he’s also not local, I guess he understands me the most. The others don’t really understand that we have to cook for ourselves, pay our own bills, budget every month’s allowance, do all the house chores by ourselves and etc. Like for example, sometimes they would plan an outing to go for movies or a karaoke session. It’s not that I do not like joining these sessions but then my allowance from JPA is still not here so what is happening is that basically I am surviving off my savings from last year and to be honest, it’s running out. That’s why I’m trying not to waste on unnecessary spending. But I guess they just don’t understand. When I tell them I have other expenses I need to cover they say I’m giving excuses.

I guess that explains the fact that I get very annoyed whenever someone is not understanding towards other people. I don’t understand why they are so selfish and never put others in consideration at all. I mean, come on! The world clearly does not revolve around you, please be caring and think about others. Why is it that we must follow your suggestions? Why is it that we must agree to your opinions?

There’s one thing that I have always been holding onto in life and that is I will rarely share my feelings with others. I am not a person who wears my heart on my sleeves and hence, you’ll rarely hear me sharing my problems and feelings with anyone. If I do share my problems with someone, that person will have to be someone I very much trust, someone like a best friend that I have that's a thousand miles away from me now. Sometimes it does get difficult as it is always a good thing to share my problems with someone but I feel like I do not have the right to pour out my problems to someone else since they have their own problems to handle as well. So the only way I vent is by writing and do pardon me if this journal sounds rather vent-y. I do hope you’ll understand.

I guess another thing is that I rarely forgive myself for the wrongdoings that I’ve done. I won’t elaborate further on this topic as it’s a bit difficult for me but I am still trying to find ways to let go of this.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Hi everyone. Anyway got the chatbox up again. hahaha after deleting all those strange and weird and stupid comments that were in there

Anyway, I'm still contemplating on whether it is safe to open up my blog to the public again. Hmm should I?

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Okay so I would like to introduce a favourite hobby of mine, stamp collection! uhm to be more specific, first day cover collection!

Just a simple definition of first day cover from about.com for those of you who have no idea what am I talking about.

"A first day cover is a stamped envelope, postal card or other postal material that was processed at the post office where the stamp was issued, and has a cancellation indicating the same. The cancellation will often be specially designed for the occasion and frequently will say "First Day of Issue(FDI)" or something similar. Depending on the postal authority there may be a ceremony to commemorate the first day of issue."

Anyway, so this month there was a FDI on "haiwan peliharaan kanak-kanak" (children's pets). The stamps are super cute so I really wanted it. Problem was that it was sold out when i got there X.X super annoying. So now I'm searching on the internet hoping someone will sell it to me.

The FDC that I was supposed to buy.

The other FDC in conjunction with CNY

Bah, since the FDC was all sold out, what left was just the stamp. But for the stamp, only the bunny and the cat was still available. The doggy stamps were all sold out! O.O unbelievable!

Cats!

BUNNIESS!

Of all the stamps that I have collected, I think these stamps are the nicest POS malaysia has ever printed. I love the picture and the details of the animal. It looked so real!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Something happened. Something bad happened in which I do not want to elaborate any further.

All I wanna say is that, sorry. Sorry that I am so useless.

I'm sorry that I am so useless to the point that whatever things I do, I get scolded. I get reprimanded. I get yelled at.

Why is it that everything that I do, I get scolded? Every decision that I make, I get yelled at? Why? Do you know how much you've hurt me? To the point that whenever I make a decision or say something I am always in fear.
Am I really that worthless? Am I really that useless? Do you really hate me that much?

You all have really pushed me off the edge this time.

"An adrenaline rush can be a wonderful thing, and a dangerous thing as well. The rush produces insane energy temporarily. At that particular moment, the person may lose his/her ability to think and may do whatever he/she likes"

Sunday, January 23, 2011

I mean seriously! I for one do not think Malaysia is that bad!! I've been living in Malaysia for 20 years and I find it amazing! I do not understand why some people just starts arguing with me whenever I start supporting Malaysia in some stuff. I mean, seriously! For the love of god you've been staying in this country as well and you've turned out fine! What is there so much to hate about Malaysia?? Okay fine maybe we've got corrupted governments who probably made this country more broke than ever in history but other than that it's all good!

Malay people? Some of them are amazing! Okay so you're telling me some of them are extremists and racists? Well guess what, some of us chinese are as well!! Like seriously, check yourself in the mirror before blaming others for what they've done because obviously we've done it as well. BM is a stupid language? Well guess what, you'll realise how useful it is when you're trying to yell at some rude chinaman without him having a single idea what you're talking about. it DEFINITELY comes in handy sometimes.

There's still so much of Malaysia to talk about! Amazing food we can get, not just in sibu but in Kl melaka and PENANG!! then there's the annual mega sales, not as good as the one in singapore but hey I'm not complaining! We're also the country that gave birth to the world's best airline, world's tallest twin tower and the world's best airport! Vacations in malaysia can be awesome as well. Breathtaking sunset scenery, stunning views of the crocker range and the evergreen tropical forests! Hahahah these are just some of the things i loooove about Malaysia.

So hey I seriously get pissed off whenever people starts bad mouthing about Malaysia to the point where Malaysia seems as bad as some inhabitable third world country or worse. I mean seriously people, if it was that bad you'll be dead by now.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Just got these today. It's actually a novella that tells the story of Eclipse from another point of view. Haven't started reading yet but while I was browsing through it at the bookstore it looked really interesting!

Apparently I'll get addicted easily to these kinds of novels, particularly novels which are in series or sagas. Cause when I start one, I have to finish all. Whenever I buy one of it, in the end I'll buy all. Take for example, Harry Potter and Twilight! I have all of them. Never missed any of it. Some of them are collector's edition, some are just normal ones. hahhaah!

The next few series of novels I'm aiming at would be The chronicles of narnia, percy jacksons, and the vampire diaries. Well, we'll see what happens. =)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

So today, after many many failed attempts of downloading it, I've finally managed to download Eclipse (and watch it in the same day!).

Oooh~ So haunting.

And all I've got to say is that eclipse is definitely better than New Moon. NM was slow, draggy. The storyline was rather boring, even though it was superbly written in the novel.

boo~

I guess the director failed to portray the suspense and the emotions in the novel. But eclipse did manage to capture a lil bit more of that. But overall I still think that twilight was the best. NM and eclipse wasn't able to reach the same level of hype as twilight did.

Stare into my eyes~~ I shall hypnotize you!!! @.@

Riley and his ka-kias

Carlisle: Please don't fall off the cliff Esme. I will die of embarrassment.