I mean, holy crap, look at the size of that thing!

Here, need a better look?

Photo by Justin Louis

Right?!?!

And look, I'm an animal lover, I don't like to kill things (I'll point you back to the bat, which I took pains not to kill, thank you very much), but I'm 99.9% sure that this thing was actively building its web to catch me.

No joke, it was starting to stretch across my patio!

I'm actually getting the creeps right now just thinking about it, so I'm going to wrap this up.