Nap Time: When Should Kids Stop with Midday Snoozes?

As a parent of a newly minted 3-year old, I have always kept to a rigid routine and schedule with naps and bedtime. For the most part, it has been successful for our family … except for a 1 – 2:30 p.m. nap smack in the middle of the day. That makes our weekends tough to navigate with planning outings to see our friends.

“Sure, we can meet for brunch … but we should meet around 11 so we can be done by 12:45.”

“Oh, we are so glad you guys are coming in to the city, lunch won’t work so come over after …”

“Oh no, Jake’s buddy is having a birthday party at 12:30 to 2 p.m. –looks like we won’t be able to attend.”

As you can see, life is not always so simple when keeping to a rigid schedule.

Consequently, around 12:30 or 12:45 p.m. every day, we are excitedly discussing our plans for “after nap” and generally, our son willingly takes his nap. This breaks up our day into two parts:

Pre-nap

Post-nap

Yesterday, our family was faced with a dilemma. We were invited to a close friend’s birthday party in Long Island and the party was from 12:30 to 5 p.m. I suggested to my wife on a few occasions that she should go ahead without us at 12:30 and we would meet her there around 3 p.m. after our son’s nap. My wife, who knows I am crazy about the sleep schedule and does usually partner with me about this process (though I rarely give her enough credit) was unwavering in this particular case. Bottom line: At 1 p.m., I had to tear my son away from the pool party, pop him in the stroller for a neighborhood walk in the brutal heat, and was unsuccessful in getting him to sleep.

This got me upset because he truly needs an afternoon nap (and I need the break). He is almost a different person- moody, extra-sensitive, not friendly as was the case. Now, you have me in a bent mood because he did not sleep, he was in a crap mood because he did not nap, and this dragged my wife down with us.

The reason why I am expressing this sob story is not for sympathy — I don’t deserve it. I am too serious about napping. Research says that by age 3, the majority (almost 90%) of children have given up their daytime nap. The nap disappears because most families cannot juggle it into their schedule, the child starts preschool, or because the nap has pushed their bedtime later which the parents do not want. All of that said, the research also states that all children should be napping until they are at least 4 years old.

Recently, the nap has me wondering if it’s all worth it. It is challenging for me because my son only naps in his stroller so there I am in 90+ degree heat pushing him around until he sleeps (then, parking him in our A/C’d apartment). My wife’s tolerance for planning our weekend days around the nap is dwindling. Then, I think about how nice it is to have a break in the middle of the day … and once the nap goes away … it never comes back.

We invite your feedback here – when is it time to kick naps to the curb and start living our lives more spontaneously again?

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About Lance Somerfeld

Lance Somerfeld, co-founder of City Dads Group, lives with his wife and two children in New York City. He frequently contributes to the conversation about modern fatherhood, work-life balance, shifting gender roles, and brand’s marketing to dads. He has appeared on local and national television, including CNN, Today and Katie. He has been quoted by The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, GQ, Parenting and The Atlantic.

Comments

It’s time Lance. We never let the nap schedule dictate OUR schedule. Vacations would be next to impossible, and getting anything done would be nearly impossible. You know my stance, if the boy is tired you can see the signs. My son could benefit from the nap but he also needs to learn to sleep longer at night. I would say that you need the break more than your son needs the break. There are times when he does nap, in the car mostly. Don’t let the nap dictate your life, especially if you have a party to go to, just realize for one day he’s not getting a nap and deal with it. Everything in life can’t be so regimented.

We still nap (AA will be 3 in September) We go to camp in the morning (9-12), then home for lunch, a nap 1:15-3:30 pm, and then an adventure of some kind (playground, museum, grocery, hardware, baseball, etc) We try not to be RIGID about it, but give him the opportunity to take the rest he needs. I wake him up between 3:30-4 if he hasn’t already risen, so that we can do stuff. (he’d sleep 3 hours if we let him) And then be up at 4 am!

Naps are vital for brain development! Keep the kid napping as long as possible.
My kid is a couple months away from 4, and I keep the nap scheduled regularly.
A lot of times, I lay him down to nap, he only naps 30 minutes, but that’s fine. Sometimes he goes an hour or more.
Giving the opportunity to nap shouldn’t stop until the kid clearly doesn’t need one.

I’m a bit pro-kid in my views. Doesn’t matter about our vacations, schedule, etc. The kid needs sleep to grow.
We can take vacations the rest of our lives – AFTER the kid grows out of naps.
Also, as a SAHD – why in the world wouldn’t I advocate and do everything I can to ensure my child develops as well as possible????
Toddler naps are vital to healthy growth and development. Not to mention better moods with being well rested.
Go ahead and let your kid nap as long as you can and enjoy your quiet time and then hopefully a more mild mannered, rested child’s attitude.