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I smiled to myself as the room came closer to me. Hayate really went all out in these private areas, we could use them anytime we wanted to for whatever we wanted to. I was thinking of using one of the rooms to nap a bit since I was off duty and I didn't want to go home just to come back. Being six months pregnant really takes it on you when you have to walk.

I noticed one room was occupied with Nanoha's name under it. Happily I pushed the com button to speak to her but got a "Private" error message. Confused as to why Nanoha wanted to be alone, I tried the door, feeling it locked. Hmm... well then.

"Ahn... More..."

Wait a second, was that a moan? I pushed my ear closer to the door to listen. It was faint but I could hear heavy panting. "Raising Heart..." Nanoha's voice came again. " Bigger... Harder..." a loud gasp came, followed by a loud groan.

I stepped back, face red. She was... Nanoha was using RH to...But... But what about me? I could... but... no... Lately I have been denying her, I've been too tired to even let her do minor things with me. I guess.... this is really my fault...

Silence came, interrupted only by faint, spent, puffs of air. Not able to stand it anymore, I entered the password to allow me forced entrance to the room and walked in, seeing Nanoha on the ground, spread eagle, with Raising Heart laying lightly in her hand.

Wait a second, she was in her barrier jacket...

"Fate-chan?" Nanoha's voice came up as she took off the Virtual Reality goggles from her face. "I thought I locked the door? I didn't want to hurt anyone in my VR training."

"V...R...training?"

"MM," Nanoha sat up and wiped the sweat from her face. "Hayate-chan made me these nifty goggles that I can use in this room. It's so real I almost forget that my blast aren't real. RH even kicks back and vibrates in my hands as if I was shooting a real charged blast! It's so nifty."

I thought Ninja Looting is getting to the loot in the middle of combat. Is Wow Looting different, in that if someone gets the rights, after a period of time, someone else can grab it? I can't remember. (Over a year since I've played.)

I smiled to myself as the room came closer to me. Hayate really went all out in these private areas, we could use them anytime we wanted to for whatever we wanted to. I was thinking of using one of the rooms to nap a bit since I was off duty and I didn't want to go home just to come back. Being six months pregnant really takes it on you when you have to walk.

I noticed one room was occupied with Nanoha's name under it. Happily I pushed the com button to speak to her but got a "Private" error message. Confused as to why Nanoha wanted to be alone, I tried the door, feeling it locked. Hmm... well then.

"Ahn... More..."

Wait a second, was that a moan? I pushed my ear closer to the door to listen. It was faint but I could hear heavy panting. "Raising Heart..." Nanoha's voice came again. " Bigger... Harder..." a loud gasp came, followed by a loud groan.

I stepped back, face red. She was... Nanoha was using RH to...But... But what about me? I could... but... no... Lately I have been denying her, I've been too tired to even let her do minor things with me. I guess.... this is really my fault...

Silence came, interrupted only by faint, spent, puffs of air. Not able to stand it anymore, I entered the password to allow me forced entrance to the room and walked in, seeing Nanoha on the ground, spread eagle, with Raising Heart laying lightly in her hand.

Wait a second, she was in her barrier jacket...

"Fate-chan?" Nanoha's voice came up as she took off the Virtual Reality goggles from her face. "I thought I locked the door? I didn't want to hurt anyone in my VR training."

"V...R...training?"

"MM," Nanoha sat up and wiped the sweat from her face. "Hayate-chan made me these nifty goggles that I can use in this room. It's so real I almost forget that my blast aren't real. RH even kicks back and vibrates in my hands as if I was shooting a real charged blast! It's so nifty."

And I wish I could foreshadow effectively.
Dunno how long until I update anything on my end either. I just... Haven't been able to get motivated to write... *sigh*

Don't rush it. Take your time and I'm sure it'll come to you . Remember, unless it's fun and you have fun doing it, take a step back.

Quote:

Originally Posted by toran

I thought Ninja Looting is getting to the loot in the middle of combat. Is Wow Looting different, in that if someone gets the rights, after a period of time, someone else can grab it? I can't remember. (Over a year since I've played.)

Ninja-ing loot is the act of taking loot before people have the opportunity to see if they need it, taking loot when you didn't win it, or taking loot when others need it and you don't (can't use/have better).

I thought Ninja Looting is getting to the loot in the middle of combat. Is Wow Looting different, in that if someone gets the rights, after a period of time, someone else can grab it? I can't remember. (Over a year since I've played.)

there is a roll system where you can click "need" or "greed". self explanatory. If someone clicks need when they don't need it, or if they agree to pass on an item and then someone waits till everyone passes and then needs it they are a ninja.

Anyway, on topic:

This is an idea for a small series of shorts. Fate's POV, canon timeline, senior year in school.

Spoiler for Week, part 1:

This was it. Now or never. Nanoha was looking at me curiously like she always does when I ask her to see me for a private question. I had to say this. I've waited too long...

"Nanoha," I began, voice scared. She noticed and instantly took both of my hands. "I'm..."

"Are you pregnant?" She asked me, concerned.

"What?.. No! No, I'm not pregnant!"

NAnoha sighed out. "Phew... Okay, what is it?"

I gave her a lopsided grin. She did that to make me feel better, to make my problem seem not such a burden, to try and ease the load it was for me saying it. That kind of thing was exactly why I had to say this now. "Nanoha," I began again. "This is really important to me, so please listen carefully okay?"

"Okay," She nodded lightly, rubbing my palms.

"Okay..." I took a breath. "I'm gay." I said it quickly before I could stop myself.

"And," I went on, before she could continue. Seeing as there was more, she became serious again. "I like you."

She blinked.

Twice.

"...Like that," I finished lamely. Her hands didn't move from mine, which I took as a good sign.

It stayed silent for a while, making my heart beat slow down as I held my breath. "Wow," She suddenly breathed out, revealing her shock. One hand left mine as she covered her mouth and sat back. "Oh wow... I... don't know what to say."

I swallowed thickly. "PLease, say something?"

"I... I..." She tried to calm down. "Oh wow."

I felt sick. "Please," I begged her. "Anything!"

She looked scared. Her mouth opened to say something but stopped, averting her eyes. I hung my head down sadly, feeling myself being hugged. "I'm sorry," She whispered. "I can't reply."

"It's okay..." I knew this would happen anyway. Why did I even bother?

"Can I... have some time?" She requested.

Time? I pulled away just enough to look up into nervous eyes. "Time?" I voiced it aloud now.

"To answer," She whispered while moving away from me to sit properly. "I'm so shocked... I can't think."

Hope! She wanted to think about it! "Yes!" I screamed at her, making her jump back. "I'm sorry, yes. Yes, please, yes."

I smiled to myself as the room came closer to me. Hayate really went all out in these private areas, we could use them anytime we wanted to for whatever we wanted to. I was thinking of using one of the rooms to nap a bit since I was off duty and I didn't want to go home just to come back. Being six months pregnant really takes it on you when you have to walk.

I noticed one room was occupied with Nanoha's name under it. Happily I pushed the com button to speak to her but got a "Private" error message. Confused as to why Nanoha wanted to be alone, I tried the door, feeling it locked. Hmm... well then.

"Ahn... More..."

Wait a second, was that a moan? I pushed my ear closer to the door to listen. It was faint but I could hear heavy panting. "Raising Heart..." Nanoha's voice came again. " Bigger... Harder..." a loud gasp came, followed by a loud groan.

I stepped back, face red. She was... Nanoha was using RH to...But... But what about me? I could... but... no... Lately I have been denying her, I've been too tired to even let her do minor things with me. I guess.... this is really my fault...

Silence came, interrupted only by faint, spent, puffs of air. Not able to stand it anymore, I entered the password to allow me forced entrance to the room and walked in, seeing Nanoha on the ground, spread eagle, with Raising Heart laying lightly in her hand.

Wait a second, she was in her barrier jacket...

"Fate-chan?" Nanoha's voice came up as she took off the Virtual Reality goggles from her face. "I thought I locked the door? I didn't want to hurt anyone in my VR training."

"V...R...training?"

"MM," Nanoha sat up and wiped the sweat from her face. "Hayate-chan made me these nifty goggles that I can use in this room. It's so real I almost forget that my blast aren't real. RH even kicks back and vibrates in my hands as if I was shooting a real charged blast! It's so nifty."

I couldn't help but smile fondly. "Nanoha?" She hummed at me. " Will you nap with me?"

"... sure!" She smiled brightly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Satashi

there is a roll system where you can click "need" or "greed". self explanatory. If someone clicks need when they don't need it, or if they agree to pass on an item and then someone waits till everyone passes and then needs it they are a ninja.

Anyway, on topic:

This is an idea for a small series of shorts. Fate's POV, canon timeline, senior year in school.

Spoiler for Week, part 1:

This was it. Now or never. Nanoha was looking at me curiously like she always does when I ask her to see me for a private question. I had to say this. I've waited too long...

"Nanoha," I began, voice scared. She noticed and instantly took both of my hands. "I'm..."

"Are you pregnant?" She asked me, concerned.

"What?.. No! No, I'm not pregnant!"

NAnoha sighed out. "Phew... Okay, what is it?"

I gave her a lopsided grin. She did that to make me feel better, to make my problem seem not such a burden, to try and ease the load it was for me saying it. That kind of thing was exactly why I had to say this now. "Nanoha," I began again. "This is really important to me, so please listen carefully okay?"

"Okay," She nodded lightly, rubbing my palms.

"Okay..." I took a breath. "I'm gay." I said it quickly before I could stop myself.

"And," I went on, before she could continue. Seeing as there was more, she became serious again. "I like you."

She blinked.

Twice.

"...Like that," I finished lamely. Her hands didn't move from mine, which I took as a good sign.

It stayed silent for a while, making my heart beat slow down as I held my breath. "Wow," She suddenly breathed out, revealing her shock. One hand left mine as she covered her mouth and sat back. "Oh wow... I... don't know what to say."

I swallowed thickly. "PLease, say something?"

"I... I..." She tried to calm down. "Oh wow."

I felt sick. "Please," I begged her. "Anything!"

She looked scared. Her mouth opened to say something but stopped, averting her eyes. I hung my head down sadly, feeling myself being hugged. "I'm sorry," She whispered. "I can't reply."

"It's okay..." I knew this would happen anyway. Why did I even bother?

"Can I... have some time?" She requested.

Time? I pulled away just enough to look up into nervous eyes. "Time?" I voiced it aloud now.

"To answer," She whispered while moving away from me to sit properly. "I'm so shocked... I can't think."

Hope! She wanted to think about it! "Yes!" I screamed at her, making her jump back. "I'm sorry, yes. Yes, please, yes."

I smiled to myself as the room came closer to me. Hayate really went all out in these private areas, we could use them anytime we wanted to for whatever we wanted to. I was thinking of using one of the rooms to nap a bit since I was off duty and I didn't want to go home just to come back. Being six months pregnant really takes it on you when you have to walk.

I noticed one room was occupied with Nanoha's name under it. Happily I pushed the com button to speak to her but got a "Private" error message. Confused as to why Nanoha wanted to be alone, I tried the door, feeling it locked. Hmm... well then.

"Ahn... More..."

Wait a second, was that a moan? I pushed my ear closer to the door to listen. It was faint but I could hear heavy panting. "Raising Heart..." Nanoha's voice came again. " Bigger... Harder..." a loud gasp came, followed by a loud groan.

I stepped back, face red. She was... Nanoha was using RH to...But... But what about me? I could... but... no... Lately I have been denying her, I've been too tired to even let her do minor things with me. I guess.... this is really my fault...

Silence came, interrupted only by faint, spent, puffs of air. Not able to stand it anymore, I entered the password to allow me forced entrance to the room and walked in, seeing Nanoha on the ground, spread eagle, with Raising Heart laying lightly in her hand.

Wait a second, she was in her barrier jacket...

"Fate-chan?" Nanoha's voice came up as she took off the Virtual Reality goggles from her face. "I thought I locked the door? I didn't want to hurt anyone in my VR training."

"V...R...training?"

"MM," Nanoha sat up and wiped the sweat from her face. "Hayate-chan made me these nifty goggles that I can use in this room. It's so real I almost forget that my blast aren't real. RH even kicks back and vibrates in my hands as if I was shooting a real charged blast! It's so nifty."

I couldn't help but smile fondly. "Nanoha?" She hummed at me. " Will you nap with me?"

"... sure!" She smiled brightly.

:3 That was even better then if it had been what Fate thought it was (Fate you perv )

The new series of shorts interests me but I feel like I've seen the premise before (Fate (sometimes Nanoha) confesses she's gay and likes Nanoha (sometimes Fate) Nanoha (or Fate) has to think about it) so it's going to be what comes next that decides it for me.

This is an idea for a small series of shorts. Fate's POV, canon timeline, senior year in school.

Spoiler for Week, part 1:

This was it. Now or never. Nanoha was looking at me curiously like she always does when I ask her to see me for a private question. I had to say this. I've waited too long...

"Nanoha," I began, voice scared. She noticed and instantly took both of my hands. "I'm..."

"Are you pregnant?" She asked me, concerned.

"What?.. No! No, I'm not pregnant!"

NAnoha sighed out. "Phew... Okay, what is it?"

I gave her a lopsided grin. She did that to make me feel better, to make my problem seem not such a burden, to try and ease the load it was for me saying it. That kind of thing was exactly why I had to say this now. "Nanoha," I began again. "This is really important to me, so please listen carefully okay?"

"Okay," She nodded lightly, rubbing my palms.

"Okay..." I took a breath. "I'm gay." I said it quickly before I could stop myself.

"And," I went on, before she could continue. Seeing as there was more, she became serious again. "I like you."

She blinked.

Twice.

"...Like that," I finished lamely. Her hands didn't move from mine, which I took as a good sign.

It stayed silent for a while, making my heart beat slow down as I held my breath. "Wow," She suddenly breathed out, revealing her shock. One hand left mine as she covered her mouth and sat back. "Oh wow... I... don't know what to say."

I swallowed thickly. "PLease, say something?"

"I... I..." She tried to calm down. "Oh wow."

I felt sick. "Please," I begged her. "Anything!"

She looked scared. Her mouth opened to say something but stopped, averting her eyes. I hung my head down sadly, feeling myself being hugged. "I'm sorry," She whispered. "I can't reply."

"It's okay..." I knew this would happen anyway. Why did I even bother?

"Can I... have some time?" She requested.

Time? I pulled away just enough to look up into nervous eyes. "Time?" I voiced it aloud now.

"To answer," She whispered while moving away from me to sit properly. "I'm so shocked... I can't think."

Hope! She wanted to think about it! "Yes!" I screamed at her, making her jump back. "I'm sorry, yes. Yes, please, yes."

There is an IRC for the OC-thread, yes. It was done to keep the random chatter that has a tendency to apear in the thread to a minimum, and avoid that the risk of the thread being locked for off-topicness. I myself don't use it, can't spare the time, really. But seeing how the Fanfic thread is far less... ehm... sensitive to random chatter, I don't think its really necissary, don't you?

Besides, I'd hate to think people will start voting on my fics on a source I have no access to.

There is an IRC for the OC-thread, yes. It was done to keep the random chatter that has a tendency to apear in the thread to a minimum, and avoid that the risk of the thread being locked for off-topicness. I myself don't use it, can't spare the time, really. But seeing how the Fanfic thread is far less... ehm... sensitive to random chatter, I don't think its really necissary, don't you?

Besides, I'd hate to think people will start voting on my fics on a source I have no access to.

thank you for the information

and IRC is always fun*I'm on a chanel, only occupied by me, don't found others or they don't have time or feel like join the channel --> more fore me^^*

and IRC is always fun*I'm on a chanel, only occupied by me, don't found others or they don't have time or feel like join the channel --> more fore me^^*

btw
can you tell me the data for the channel?
#name
#which server

thank you

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kagerou

I got it!

Go to Mibbit.com here (bookmark the link ). After that, leave the "connect to specific server" on mibbit.com, change the channel to #outercadia, your nickname to whatever, and set password to "nanoha" (all lowercase).

DO IT NAO. CADIANS, WE HAS IRC.

It's the OC channel, so please show respect to the topics discussed and remember that you are a guest in their channel ^^ but have fun!

Now I have to find out, how it works, but I thought it would be only to add one channel*sigh*(I use atm a IRC script, therefore I asked^^)
it seems, nobody can get everything

Just ask Kagerou, or possibly TShouryuu, because they were the ones who established the channel I believe, plus they seem quite fluent in the ways of the IRC Script, so they should be able to help you out :3

LOL And be careful, the discussions we Outer Cadians have can be quite...intense :3

You had me fooled in the beginning. I guess I was expecting NanoFate so immediately I read it as that. shouldn’t judge before actually reading. Heh.

Quote:

He smiled at me then said he acts a lot like a brother or father figure would, and that since I had feelings like that for him, it meant I considered him a part of my family.

This sentence seems a little awkward. could be broken up into smaller sentences cuz otherwise, it feels too... long and heavy at the moment.

Quote:

A silence pierced after an eternity by a confession.

reading this sentence, i got confused as to which was the direct object. it took a few reads to get what you wanted to say. i'm guessing you wanted to end the sentence using 'confession' but might want to consider changing it a bit to read a little more smoothly.

Quote:

“And so after that he told me that he wasn’t the one for me. He told me that he wasn’t my most important person, someone who would be willing to give the world for me, and that I’m sure I’d find them one day, whoever or wherever they may be.”

did you mean "and that he was sure that I'd fine them one day--"?

and like this sentence, the parts where Nanoha recalled what Yuuno told her, there were a lot of 'told's and 'that' which made it a little difficult to read and no doubt for Nanoha to say. so might want to consider changing things up a bit more with sentence structure variations and maybe trim down a bit on what Yuuno said. or not have Nanoha recount everything Yuuno said and just talk about her feelings/reflections.

ok. done with the criticisms. I like your way with words, especially in the descriptions. The entire piece flowed nicely using Fate's POV. And seems like Yuuno has some interesting insights into Nanoha’s feelings. Though it might be the NanoFate goggles again. Overall, this was a pleasant one shot to read. Had a very natural slice-of-life kind of feel to it.

Anyways, I hope people won’t hate me for saying this but since Fate and Nanoha is together in most fics, it seems like there’s temptation to give Hayate someone too. But without build up, I personally have trouble seeing Hayate with Yuuno. They barely even talked to each other throughout StrikerS and A’s. What’s wrong with leaving Hayate single?

I never realized how a calm day, the sounds of water splashing, the sounds of the birds flying you, the sounds of daily life pass by, the beautiful voice (and body) of the tour guide as she rows your gondola across the Grand Canal can heal your tired body and soul...

As Amy went on to the Market to pick up the bread, Alyssa was tending to the gondola, brushing away the dirt from the floor and seats, as well as making sure the ropes tying the gondola to the palina were tight- being newly promoted to a Single was like a chance to shine. The President in the meantime as napping near the bow, a bubble appearing the disappearing per each breath.

At another end, we see two newly arrived tourists to the planet of water. One had short almost boyish golden hair, while the other had long flowing violet hair. Both were taking in the sights of the seemingly surreal world, "old" Renaissance-era buildings mixed with flying spaceships in the sky, as well as the floating island.

"So this is Aqua..." the blonde commented.

"Yes it is Arisa..." the long violet remarked. "And if i'm not mistaken..." she then said, pointing to the white gondolas at the waterfront.

"Undines, Suzuka... Undines. Let's hire one..."

While those two are up to something, we turn back to Alyssa. So far, her joint practices with Ai and Almaria had been great- the two yet to have "a picnic" with their senior mentors. She hummed a happy tune as she now picked up the oar, with its characteristic purple triangle painted at the end. She began her mock practice of letting customers on the gondola, attempting to grasp the style of her idolized Prima, Akari.

"Dear Customer, please lend me your hand..." she acted, a bit off Akari's style and a bit of Amy's, with eyes closed though- since it was the first time.

"Eh?" a sudden voice came in, prompting her to open her eyes.

"EH?!!"

It was the tourist named Arisa, with her fellow Suzuka behind her.

"Uhm..." Alyssa tired to work her way out of a potentially bad situation.

"Ano..." both blondes now tried to speak, but were suprised.

"Huh?" Suzuka could only stare at bewilderment.

"Why do you..." Arisa could only ask.

"Sound like..." Alyssa followed.

"Me?!!"

And then, the bubble on President Yuu's nose popped.

"Nya~"

*rows gondola before Lowe/Liingo/Kha sees it*

Arisa and Susuka!

Quote:

Originally Posted by markesellus

You know it's amazing how many pages get filled in the span of a couple of days on the forums. I read through the whole forum from beginning to end. So much time...

And you jsut joined? Wow!
I still don't pass from page 20 T_T

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam the Onion

No backlog today as I'm pretty busy.

Spoiler for Scenarios 60 & 61:

The man was the calmest person ever with lifetask to kill people and only walked around with his hands in his robe and hood on. For some reason he had strange red fire aura around him, but it seemed to be only illusions. He didn't check his sides, behind or even front and seemed to sing something facing the ceiling.

Still it was impossible to strike him.

There was hundreds of blades, shields, hammers.. everything spinning around him. All absorbed magic that came in contact with them and faster than I could run. Not to mention they were all physical. It's as if Selshin magic wasn't magic in the first place, but something to kill other mages with.

But that couldn't be right.

”Nan-chan, Tenchi, you're not really doing your job are you?” He stopped singing and began searching us. Nanoha-san was hidden behind a pillar near him as was I.

”Well, you're doing pretty good at defensing.” Nanoha complimented from her hideout.

”Why, thank you. You think I should go offense as you won't?” He taunted.

It wasn't hard for me to hate him. He was arrogant, annoying and too calm.

”Knock yourself out. Maybe we get a change then.” I answered. The second he would drop his defense down, I would break that bond.

”But I really don't want to.” He groaned. Like a boy in puberty, his voice rocks from one extreme to another, reminding a strange union of bass and violin.

”Well what do you want then?”

”What do I want?” The annoying voice became louder like he had expected this question. ”I want life as a human, my family, a cane, A monologue!” His voice echoed around the room.

Ridiculous.

”Haha~” Nanoha forced a laugh or atleast I hope it was forced. ”You're pretty interesting. Once we're done here, how about you come to RF6? We can give half of those.”

”Ah damn... there went my monologue... now it's a bilogue.”

Was he really that stupid? I would have imagined the elite of Selshin a bit different, but this would only make our job easier, so I wasn't complaining. ”Get on with it already. We don't have all day.” I tried to make him drop his defense.

”In a hurry, are we? I better get going then.” The items picked up speed and the music-like harmony of the blades created a qentle wind in the hall. The wind was perfectly balanced between calmness and power, making my hair flutter like nothing else.

A dazzling sound of Nanoha's boosted barrier came from her direction.
This would be my change!

-Fake Silhouette- I casted and from behind every pillar, two illusion Teana ran towards the monk in the center. I had never casted this many illusion before, let alone maintained them, but I guess situations like this bring out the true form in people.

”Oh...” He noticed his demise. Stangely enough, even that quiet mutter seemed like it echoed.

He didn't even get to turn his head before I had him in my range.

Every illusion had reached the black figure at the same time and sliced every spot in his body. I personally made sure he didn't live after my slice.

”What the...?” He vanished.

”Doppelgänger. A shadow copy.” A voice behind my explained.

When did he...?

A swarm of black items hit me and drained my barrier jacket away almost in an instant.

What's wrong with these shadows!? I can't win! Nobody can!

Two black round shadows came and hit my sides with a crack. Third hit quickly to my back and rammed me all the way to the other end's wall. I knew the wall was hard and reinforced with metal and now that I saw it closer, it indeed was something like metal. Nothing like normal metal thought as it had something black all over it.

"'Teana!"' I heard Nanoha-san yell in my mind. The pain was strangely tingling. I would have imagined that cracking ribs would be more painful. Perhaps I was too numb to feel anything.

”Nice plan.” He praised, walking towards me slowly followed by a rhytmic sound of wooden shoes. It would have been calming in any other situation, but now I could only think how it would end my life.

Was this really it?

”I try to make it quick.” I think I heard something else. Nanoha-san shot something, but it didn't last long. I couldn't even turn my head because of the force on my back.

I don't want to die.

I could feel something enter my hand. It felt like millions of needles pierced my palms and then wrapping my hands in tight gloves, almost like not to let blood flow throught the tiny holes.

”Aaaaargh...” I screamed from the pain. Was this the first time I even let a sound?

My back was released from the pressure and I was now kept airborne by the gloves.

Slowly he turned me around. My arms were about to rip out of their sockets in this pseudo crusified position, but I was too numb to feel the pain. Finally I was going to see his face up close.

What would it be like?

It was crying. Small tears ran through his cheeks as an apology. He couldn't fight the bond with his actions so he showed it like this. Even that he had tears running throught his face, his deep violet eyes showed no emotion. It was as if he had been looking a failed art piece, which he had poured all of his heart in.

Yet finishing it didn't bring him any joy.

”Yo-you don't have to do this...” I managed to splurt out. Pain had numbed all my senses and that was everything I could say.

Even that his face was crying, his voice was just as it was when we got here. I missed those times.

”You don't deserve to die here.” He smiled and with his rising arm multiple weapons aimed at me behind him. ”But some things just don't go like you wanted.” His arm dropped.

The room was almost complitely filled with blue and yellow lights. Touching one with finger would lead to losing it. They were slices and stabs trapped in time, ready to strike on contact.

Linque on the other hand walked freely in the light show. Maybe it was because of the flaming green aura around him.

Vita and Subaru couldn't even fight back, they were fully occupied in tries to stop the man from taking the little of space there was in the small room, which had a constant wind in it as stored slices and stabs were released from being kept too long.

"'Subaru, we need to keep him where he is for 7 minutes. That is his limit for storing."' Vita adviced from experience telepathically.

"'How? He can always leap back and force us stay here."' She stated. The space Vita and Subaru were cornered was in the middle of the room and even smaller than a forward's room.

"'Hit him unconsious then. He can't keep these things up like that."' Vita explained again.

"'He is consciously keeping all these lights up!? That's madness!"'

"'Madness? This is Selshin."' Vita corrected and casted: -Schwalbe Fliegen-

Subaru ducked when Vita swung her mallet at the four silver balls. They flew quickly towards the man walking around the small area.

But the balls were easily sliced in mid-air by blue lights, which were then replaced by new ones.

”I'm still waiting for those new tricks.” He laughed and sliced the air again leaving blue lights behind.

”As am I.” Vita stroke back.

Linque had always been like this. Rarely fighting directly but slowly and surely trapping his enemies and then killing them when they couldn't run.

"'Vita. I think, I could get us out from this area with wing road."' Subaru remembered.

"'Stop asking for such things and DO it!"'

-Wing Road- Subaru casted and a blue road filled with insignias rose from the ground and led over the blue wall.

”That's new.” Linque watched the two woman run over him on the newly formed road. ”But that's not your trick, Vita-chan.” He tilted his head, smiling obnoxiously.

Without a word Vita readied herself for another area battle.

”If you can do that I better start doing something myself.” He shook his head and all the lights gradually vanished, creating a disturbting wind in the now dark room.

-Abyss Move: Sostenuto- Linque casted and began running, althought he didn't move. It looked ridiculous and Subaru had hard time trying not to laugh.

”DODGE!” Vita kicked Subaru from the gust of wind that went past them leaving a blue stream on Vita's leg. ”Ugh...”

The man now on the other side turned around unsatisfied. ”You saw through it. You've improved.”

”Storing run speed on yourself and releasing it all at once.” She deducted from the move.

”Nice.” Subaru praised, getting a commanding glare from Vita.

”But that's not all.” He appeared in front of Vita. ”There's no limit how much I can store in myself or how I can release it.”

I smiled to myself as the room came closer to me. Hayate really went all out in these private areas, we could use them anytime we wanted to for whatever we wanted to. I was thinking of using one of the rooms to nap a bit since I was off duty and I didn't want to go home just to come back. Being six months pregnant really takes it on you when you have to walk.

I noticed one room was occupied with Nanoha's name under it. Happily I pushed the com button to speak to her but got a "Private" error message. Confused as to why Nanoha wanted to be alone, I tried the door, feeling it locked. Hmm... well then.

"Ahn... More..."

Wait a second, was that a moan? I pushed my ear closer to the door to listen. It was faint but I could hear heavy panting. "Raising Heart..." Nanoha's voice came again. " Bigger... Harder..." a loud gasp came, followed by a loud groan.

I stepped back, face red. She was... Nanoha was using RH to...But... But what about me? I could... but... no... Lately I have been denying her, I've been too tired to even let her do minor things with me. I guess.... this is really my fault...

Silence came, interrupted only by faint, spent, puffs of air. Not able to stand it anymore, I entered the password to allow me forced entrance to the room and walked in, seeing Nanoha on the ground, spread eagle, with Raising Heart laying lightly in her hand.

Wait a second, she was in her barrier jacket...

"Fate-chan?" Nanoha's voice came up as she took off the Virtual Reality goggles from her face. "I thought I locked the door? I didn't want to hurt anyone in my VR training."

"V...R...training?"

"MM," Nanoha sat up and wiped the sweat from her face. "Hayate-chan made me these nifty goggles that I can use in this room. It's so real I almost forget that my blast aren't real. RH even kicks back and vibrates in my hands as if I was shooting a real charged blast! It's so nifty."

I couldn't help but smile fondly. "Nanoha?" She hummed at me. " Will you nap with me?"

"... sure!" She smiled brightly.

Fate, you have some dirty thougs

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Ninja-ing loot is the act of taking loot before people have the opportunity to see if they need it, taking loot when you didn't win it, or taking loot when others need it and you don't (can't use/have better).

You had me fooled in the beginning. I guess I was expecting NanoFate so immediately I read it as that. shouldn’t judge before actually reading. Heh.

This sentence seems a little awkward. could be broken up into smaller sentences cuz otherwise, it feels too... long and heavy at the moment.

reading this sentence, i got confused as to which was the direct object. it took a few reads to get what you wanted to say. i'm guessing you wanted to end the sentence using 'confession' but might want to consider changing it a bit to read a little more smoothly.

did you mean "and that he was sure that I'd fine them one day--"?

and like this sentence, the parts where Nanoha recalled what Yuuno told her, there were a lot of 'told's and 'that' which made it a little difficult to read and no doubt for Nanoha to say. so might want to consider changing things up a bit more with sentence structure variations and maybe trim down a bit on what Yuuno said. or not have Nanoha recount everything Yuuno said and just talk about her feelings/reflections.

ok. done with the criticisms. I like your way with words, especially in the descriptions. The entire piece flowed nicely using Fate's POV. And seems like Yuuno has some interesting insights into Nanoha’s feelings. Though it might be the NanoFate goggles again. Overall, this was a pleasant one shot to read. Had a very natural slice-of-life kind of feel to it.

Anyways, I hope people won’t hate me for saying this but since Fate and Nanoha is together in most fics, it seems like there’s temptation to give Hayate someone too. But without build up, I personally have trouble seeing Hayate with Yuuno. They barely even talked to each other throughout StrikerS and A’s. What’s wrong with leaving Hayate single?

Wow, thanks for pointing those things out. I went back over and tried to fix those issues up. I must admit I didn't give it as thorough a check as I normally do because I was a bit proccupied. That should teach me to post things without scanning over a few times properly :x I'll reupload the corrected version when FFN finishes maintenance.

And ah yeh, I guess that I had planned to confused people a little about the confession things. Felt like giving people a tease lol

Regarding the Yuuno x Hatate thing though, in this fic I found it necessary for Yuuno to have someone he supposedly liked to increase the emotional impact on Nanoha. The thing is though that I had originally thought about putting Chrono, but then scrapped the idea because it seemed a bit random and hilarious in my mind, and it was meant to be a serious atmosphere. And so, with out many serious candidates otherwise, except pulling an OC out of my butt, I decided it would have to be Hayate. Not only is she the right age, she was in an ideal kind of relation to Nanoha for the implications to affect her... and I'm rambling again. lol

Anyway, thank you very much for your critique, it is very much appreciated. I'm glad you found my awkward writing enjoyable haha

there is a roll system where you can click "need" or "greed". self explanatory. If someone clicks need when they don't need it, or if they agree to pass on an item and then someone waits till everyone passes and then needs it they are a ninja.

Anyway, on topic:

This is an idea for a small series of shorts. Fate's POV, canon timeline, senior year in school.

Spoiler for Week, part 1:

This was it. Now or never. Nanoha was looking at me curiously like she always does when I ask her to see me for a private question. I had to say this. I've waited too long...

"Nanoha," I began, voice scared. She noticed and instantly took both of my hands. "I'm..."

"Are you pregnant?" She asked me, concerned.

"What?.. No! No, I'm not pregnant!"

NAnoha sighed out. "Phew... Okay, what is it?"

I gave her a lopsided grin. She did that to make me feel better, to make my problem seem not such a burden, to try and ease the load it was for me saying it. That kind of thing was exactly why I had to say this now. "Nanoha," I began again. "This is really important to me, so please listen carefully okay?"

"Okay," She nodded lightly, rubbing my palms.

"Okay..." I took a breath. "I'm gay." I said it quickly before I could stop myself.

"And," I went on, before she could continue. Seeing as there was more, she became serious again. "I like you."

She blinked.

Twice.

"...Like that," I finished lamely. Her hands didn't move from mine, which I took as a good sign.

It stayed silent for a while, making my heart beat slow down as I held my breath. "Wow," She suddenly breathed out, revealing her shock. One hand left mine as she covered her mouth and sat back. "Oh wow... I... don't know what to say."

I swallowed thickly. "PLease, say something?"

"I... I..." She tried to calm down. "Oh wow."

I felt sick. "Please," I begged her. "Anything!"

She looked scared. Her mouth opened to say something but stopped, averting her eyes. I hung my head down sadly, feeling myself being hugged. "I'm sorry," She whispered. "I can't reply."

"It's okay..." I knew this would happen anyway. Why did I even bother?

"Can I... have some time?" She requested.

Time? I pulled away just enough to look up into nervous eyes. "Time?" I voiced it aloud now.

"To answer," She whispered while moving away from me to sit properly. "I'm so shocked... I can't think."

Hope! She wanted to think about it! "Yes!" I screamed at her, making her jump back. "I'm sorry, yes. Yes, please, yes."

I prefere to let my previus post just for replys and this for this story
Enjoy and I will be thankfull for some opinions

Spoiler for Hayate:

Before Rize of Tecno - UnionHayate

"Are you sure you want to go Hayate?"

Fate's question awake me from my thougs,
"Yes" I said her "I'm the comander of the Mobile 6 Riot Force, it's my obligation to attend this."

"Well, cause I'm the one who catch Jail, maybe It will be better if I talk with Dr. Faust" Fate insist, one part of me really want to leave this duty to some one else cause politic never have been my specialitation, but if someone must confront a high politic authority of a nation just like The Tecno - Union Imperie, it must be I.
"Thanks Fate but no, I will be the one who confront this man" The elevator still was acending, when I was trapped in my meditation again.

The reason of all of this was to decide the fate of Jail Scalietti, cause his origin was the Tecno - Union Imperie and acording to the reglaments of the TSAB a authority of that nation must decide if Jail is judged in his homeland or in the TSAB cort, the problem was that the TSAB and the Tecno - Union Empire have broked relations long ago cause the "Regret Incident" and so the negotiation may be a bit tense, plus the one that will decide the fate of Jail was going to be Dr. Faust, chief cientist of the Imperie and direct spokesman of the Holy Tecno - Union Emperor, and also the one who teach Scalietti all thet he knews of Cybernetic and Genetic, I don't expected to see a happy smile in his Face.

The elevatore indicate that we have arrive to the Negotiation hall, Most for an Impulse that a decition I walk directly to the door, in wich other side, Dr. Faust will be expecting me. "Good luck!" Says Fate before the elevator get closed again, yhea, I was going to need a lot of luck

I opeedn the door and instantly closed behind me, he was standing in front of me looking at the window, he looked scaryest that I was expected, the Dr. Faust was famous for have a horrible mechanism of Vital Support attached to his back. I was petrificed for a moment until I saw his four cybernetic tentacles pointing at me.

"You arrive late, miss Hayate" A robotic voice came out of him as he turns to watch me with his loops that were instead of eyes. "Could you please get hurry with this? I have things to do"

"Yes Dr. Faust, don't worry, this will not take long" I sitt in the chair next to the desk and take out a maletin that I opened and grabed some pappers inside it, this documents were the Crimes comitted by Jail Scalieti.

"You may know that Jail Scalietti, who was born in the Tecno - Union Imperie have comitted several crimes against..."

"Yes! I alredy know all that stuff you have in those pappers! Do you think I don't check all that information before I came here? That's why the Emperor decide not to come and send me instead of his place to "bagger" with you.. mages!" For a moment I was shocked, but I try to calm down my nerves and I keep talking with this... man.

"O.k if you want to end with this quickly just decide what will be the Fate Jail Scalieeti, do you will let us judge him for his crimes, or you will decide what punishment you shall inflict to him?"

"Wait a second! Are you blaming us for Jail's actions? You must know that he leve or great nation many years ago, if you are trying to insinuate that we assist him with his plans and that's why we must decide the punish for him for causing problems to the TSAB then you are WRONG! He is your problem, the Holy emperor want's nothing to do with him!"

"Watch your mouth Hayate! Remember that our Imperie and your TSAB have broke relations long ago, your laws are not the same as ours" Dr. Faust the get close to me, his mecanisms that make strange sounds and his rooted face maded me get nervius, our faces were something like 10 cm of distance between each other when he told me in loud voice "Plus we still don't forget, that you mages forced us to close our great research instalations, you were responsibles for the lost of some of the greatest discovers in the history, cause of your stupid "laws" He walk away from me and give me his back

"So, I guess that he wil be judgeg by us. Right"

"Yes, he is now your responsability, not ours"

"You are concius that he may be condem to death? Don't forget that he was your student"

"Yes, he was and his actions ashame me!" He turn to me once more "But as I said before... He is now your responsability, not ours... Is that all Miss Hayate?"

"Yes that's all"

Dr. Faust walk out of the hall and close the door behind him, I stayed here for a while, a bit shocked for the coldness of that man, I really wished to never again be forced to deal with a Tecno - Union man.