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Friday, September 9, 2011

Hand Washing

I'm a little confused by society's requirement that I wash my hands after I pee.

Also, furry people with warts must hold hands.

If you've ever taken a shower with me, you know quite well how ritualistically clean my penis is. It gets washed 2 or 3 times in the course of a single shower. I can't really say that I take better care of any other part of my body. Maybe my teeth.

So, why is it that when I walk into a public restroom, after touching the doors and the light switch and any other medium in my way, do I not immediately wash my hands before pulling lil' ~RoB out to pee? I mean, I have a perfectly good idea of where my penis has been for the past 45 minutes since I last peed. I don't, however, have any clue what kind of creepy, diseased crackwhore you finger-banged during lunch before coming in here to wash off your hands. Or, slightly more realistically, if you dragged your ass out of here after pooping without appropriately anti-bacterializing (word?) yourself. Shouldn't I be worried about me?

Things would be different if I was serving food or something. But the average person should feel privileged to touch the hand that touches my pristine penis. That being said, I always wash my hands. Always. Regardless if I'm doing #1, #2, #3, or some sick combination of all the former with extras. Well, that is unless I'm naked, but then I usually don't use my hands at all during the process of urinating.

2 comments:

lol. That is the one of the main reasons i wash my hands too. I get grossed out by touching door handles, money anything like that. I use a paper towel to open the door handle while exiting the bathroom. If i dont, i just dont see the point of washing my hands at all.