No matter what you asprie to be, be it a doctor, lawyer, priest, god, politician, dentist, janitor, IT guru, restauranteer, police officer, firefighter, nurse, forensic pathologist, FBI sharpshooter, sculptor, actor, painter, photographer, director, producer, hooker, et cetera, et cetera, the blatant fact of the matter is that what you -REALLY- want to be, deep down, is a pirate space ninja.

Everything that you are, and everything that you aspire to be inexorably leads you towards this one goal.

And that's a fact!

But that's not the point of this post, so let's get down to brass tacks. Though, really, you move a single R and brass tacks becomes bass tracks. Hmmm.....bass tracks... I have just the thing! Hooverphonic's "Shake the Disease".

Well, shit. Now I don't even remember what this post was originally going to be about. Something, I think, that had to do with a study showing that men prefer to have more partners than women. They tested it across several cultures on I believe 5 continents? Something like that. Anyhow, people are making a huge deal out of it, as though it is somehow an incredibly telling & meaningful thing. Now, I could see it's application in a nature Vs. nurture argument, but the rest doesn't seem particularly important to me.

Fun sexual facts (I hope, at least, but I didn't research them myself) of the day:-Average time of male orgasm during intercourse: 5 minutes.-Average time of male orgasm during masturbation: 2 minutes. (NOBODY loves me better'n me, baby!)-Average time of female orgasm during intercourse: 15 minutes.-Percentage of non-orgasmic females (from intercourse): 40%. Yeah, you read that right.-Of those, 50% cannot incur an orgasm where the only stimulation is intercourse.-Some (very small number) of women experience periodic orgasms during their menstrual cycle.-When women live together, their menstrual cycles tend to synchronize.-Women say the average erect penis is 4 inches. (That is what women -say-, that doesn't mean that's the actual average, before ya'll start boasting to me about how you've got some 10 incher...)-30% of women will cheat on their husband, and of those that cheat about 30% of their husbands find out. So there's a 1 in 3 chance your wife has cheated on you. What's more, there's a 2 in 3 chance you don't know about it.-The chance of a man cheating on his wife is, of course, higher (though I don't have the exact information on that handy)-Despite the common rumor, more men than women have had a homosexual experience.-Women could be jailed for denying their husband intercourse up until 1884.-Statistically speaking, women who masturbated during adolescence are more likely to find gratification in marital coitus than women who did not.-In each ejaculate the average number of abnormal sperm is 10%. This explains my brother.-Oral sex is the preferrable way for 10% of men to orgasm, and 20% of women to orgasm.

I think that's enough for now. It's so late, and I'm so tired, that I'm probably writing gibberish. Yay gibberish!