Friday, January 07, 2005

Dear creepy Bus Stop moms,

Why do you sit at the bus stop for TWO HOURS after the bus has come and gone and your children have left your sides to go to the education center of your choosing? Maybe you can't tell time. Some people can't, maybe you can't. I'm okay with lack of knowledge, but WHY do you do it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD? Assuming that you also have a legitimate reason for doing that like, oh, I don't know, maybe PARANOIA or OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER, why, oh why, do you not move to the side when you see a car coming at you? I mean, in a contest between you and the car, who will win?

WHO WILL WIN?

Finally, assuming that your paranoid, obsessive-compulsive, non watch-reading, middle of the road stubbornness is completely and totally legitimately OUT THERE ANNOYING PEOPLE for a good reason, why do you turn to face me as I drive by and stare at me as I go by like I've got the biggest booger *EVAR* smeared on the side of my car? It's not like you just look up, think "oh, it's a car" or even "oh, it's that car that drives by here every day" and go back to whatever it is that you all do in the middle of the road. Nope, all 4 of you stop what you are doing, spread out in sort of a line down the middle of the road, and watch me drive by and as I go by, you rotate your bodies so as to get a better look at me. A couple of you even walk around the others so as to get a better look!

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEADS? Are you stalking me?

I can just imagine what happens as I go around the corner on my way to work - the static will crackle and you will say into your pack of Basics that one of you never seems to be without, "The chicken has flown the coop! I repeat, the chicken has flown the coop."

Let me tell you something, ladies, this chicken is getting pretty paranoid about flying the coop ever again because you do this EVERY FREAKING DAY. (edit: to be fair, you weren't there on Tuesday, but because you were there EVERY OTHER DAY it doesn't count)

I tried to wave and smile at you once or twice because I recognize you as parents of other kids in our neighborhood, but when none of you ever waved or smiled back and just did the bug-eyes thing to me, I quit waving and smiling. I give up. You've won - I am thoroughly freaked out by you. My kids will never play with your kids. EVER.

So, in short, what I'd like from you paranoid, obsessive compulsive, clock reading impaired, bug-eyed parents is for you to just suck it up, go home, get a job, and get a career. Heck, just get a LIFE and quit making BUG EYES at me as I go about mine!

3 Comments:

Anonymous said...

This must be universal. I pick the oldest gchild up and have to wait for him in the school cafeteria. No matter how early I get there, the first table is already filled up with the same group, day after day. Who knows how early they come. For all I know they have lunch with their kids, put their feet up when the tables are cleaned and just sit there the rest of the afternoon until the kids are released. They eyeball everyone the same way you described. And I mean everyone. If you aren't one of the chosen sitting at that table then they look at you as if you just flew in from a different planet. I'm not the only one that notices it. My sister picked up for me a couple of times and asked me, "What's with that bunch of women at the front table?" You know what? Just her saying that made me feel better. My feelings were validated and now I don't give them a second thought. Well, maybe a second thought but not a third. Cate of Course

LOL, Karry, doncha wish you could tape this post to their front doors?

Thankfully my babs aren't old enough for school (I'll get to meet the goggling moms soon enough), but I definately have noticed the Moms With No Lives. I swear they are trying to use the rest of us as their own personal LIVE soap opera.

Lol, I am glad I'm not alone in feeling like this once in a while. it's literally the same feeling you get when you walk into a room and suddenly the entire room goes silent and everyone stops to look at you and you are all like "What?.... Whaaaat???" Or am I the only one that happens to? Hahaha