There was a new movie at the theater called, “Why Don’t You Love Me As Much As I Love You?” It starred the young and handsome Tad Biff and the young and beautiful Jenny Lopez.

Barbara invited her sister Laura to the movie. Both of them were big fans of Tad, even though both of them were over 40 and should have known better. They picked the 5 o’clock show on a Tuesday evening, figuring that the crowds would be thin. For Barbara, thin crowds meant fewer annoying people.

The lobby was almost empty. There was only one man at the food counter buying popcorn for his young son. As they walked by, Barbara said, “What a cute little boy! What’s your name?”

“I’m Benton and I’m almost 5 ½ years old,” the boy said proudly.

Barb and Laura walked inside. They picked their favorite seats, right in the middle of the whole theater. There was no one within 20 feet of them.

The theater darkened and the movie started. A few minutes later, some people sat directly behind Barb and Laura. Barbara couldn’t believe it. The theater was 90 percent empty, but these people had to sit right behind her. She hoped that they weren’t loud, obnoxious jerks.

A minute later, Barbara felt a bump on the back of her seat. Then, another bump. Then, another. Someone was kicking the back of her seat. Barbara tried to ignore the kicking, but it wouldn’t stop. Steam was now coming out of Barbara’s ears and nostrils. She turned around and yelled, “Stop kicking my seat right now, you jerk!”

It was Benton. He spilled his popcorn, wet his pants, and started bawling. His father yelled at Barbara for yelling at Benton, and Barbara yelled back at the father for not controlling his son. The father took his son out to the lobby to minister to him, and Barbara resumed watching her movie. “You didn’t miss a thing,” said Laura.