NEWS: Starbucks Goes Donald Trump On Old Ice Cream Line And Replaces It With Younger Ice Cream Line

Starbucks recently launched a new super-premium ice cream in flavors that will be familiar to those Starbucks junkies who know the coffee giant’s menu better than the back of their hand. Of course, for those addicts it’s hard to see the back of their hand without spilling the Starbucks coffee it’s holding.

The new, perky ice cream line replaces the old, saggy ice cream line made by Dreyer’s. Unilever will produce it and make the ice cream with milk that’s free of recombinant bovine growth hormone (rBGH), just like Ben & Jerry’s — another company under the Unilever umbrella.

Again, if you have Starbucks running through your veins and exiting you through your urethra, the flavors that make up the new ice cream line will be familiar to you:

This icecream does sound tempting, it at the very least makes me curious, but as with everything else starbucks, I feel that I will probably have to refinance my loans just to afford it! Still it’s probably good, at least I hope so, I’d hate to be dissapointed by a sub-par ice cream!

I just peed my pants. Caramel macchiato!?
With a caramel ribbon! I love me some caramel ribbons. I must find this immediately!
I wonder if it will make my pee smell like espresso the way the real stuff does?
(I hope so!)

@amanda: No, purchasing Starbucks stuff doesn’t make you a douchebag. Cutting in line to purchase Starbucks stuff makes you a douchebag.

@Woodenhand: I think it would be easier if you just stood outside of a Starbucks and asked for loose change to get Starbucks. I believe people with Starbucks will have pity on someone who wants Starbucks.

@Anita: I didn’t try the old line, but I might give the new one a try. I wish they would sell them at their stores though.

@luckinflux: Are we going to have to put you down? I don’t want to, because you’re a loyal reader, but if it’s going to have to end up like Old Yeller then so be it.

@JamieSusan: So does this mean I can stop eating asparagus to make my pee smell?