Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Sorry Ass Blog

I’m sorry, so sorry.(AP) Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson insisted Wednesday that he did not call for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, despite comments broadcast on his program two days earlier.

"I didn't say 'assassination,'" Robertson said Wednesday on his Christian Broadcast Network show "The 700 Club" about remarks reported by The Associated Press and other media outlets.

"I said our special forces should 'take him out.’ ‘Take him out' could be a number of things including kidnapping. There are a number of ways of taking out a dictator from power besides killing him. I was misinterpreted by the AP, but that happens all the time."

What would Jesus do?What Pat Robertson said two days ago: "You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don't think any oil shipments will stop.”

“But if thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it.”I don’t quite see the logic there. Somebody somewhere has a thought, therefore we should make that thought reality? I’m thinking about a pony. Will the government give me a pony? Or do you have to be a resident of Venezuela?

“It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don’t think any oil shipments will stop.” I agree with him. Assassinations are a lot cheaper than wars. But I thought he didn’t know about this doctrine of assassination. It’s good to know, however, that this man of the cloth (and what cloth is that, I wonder?) is doing his part to keep the global flow of oil continue uninterrupted.

“‘Take him out' could be a number of things including kidnapping. There are a number of ways of taking out a dictator from power besides killing him. I was misinterpreted by the AP, but that happens all the time." It could have meant “take him out” to dinner. Or a movie. Or to the ballgame. Damn that godless AP!

The Internet? Is that still around?Jon Stewart, IN WIRED interview: “The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.”

Overheard in front of the produce market. “That’s right Satan, you can’t do anything unless God allows you.”

Why we don’t hate Clinton enough yet. Bill Clinton is coming out with an album of his favorite songs, to be called "The Bill Clinton Collection: Selections from the Clinton Music Room," to be sold at the Clinton Museum Store in Little Rock.

According to AP, the songs will include "My One and Only Love" by John Coltrane, "Harlem Nocturne" by David Sandborn, "My Funny Valentine" by Miles Davis, "Summertime" by Zoot Sims, "I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to Be Free" by Nina Simone and "Chelsea Morning" by Judy Collins.

Clinton has a music room? I don’t have a goddam music room. Do you have a music room?

Get Hitchens!Max Blumenthal, from The Nation.“In the immediate wake of President Bush's nomination of John Roberts to the US Supreme Court, two of the Christian right's major interest groups, the Family Research Council and Focus on the Family, planned a sequel to Justice Sunday, the spectacular rally they had held in April to promote Bush's controversial federal judiciary appointments. In anticipation of a battle fit for Christian soldiers, the planners of Justice Sunday II went big, booking a Nashville, Tennessee, megachurch and arranging the broadcast of their event to millions of homes and thousands of churches across the country through SkyAngel and the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

“The event reached its climax when William Donohue of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights stomped onstage determined to deliver the evening's most bombastic attack line. Donohue was going to tell the crowd exactly who their enemy was, in no uncertain terms. He was going to name names. And so, in booming basso profundo, Donohue denounced ‘the atheist, anti-Catholic bigot’ Christopher Hitchens. His salvo was greeted with befuddled silence.”