instructor says nursing is not for me..
- page 8

First of all I apologize for the long post!!
So I passed my first semester with good grades. (mostly A's with B being the lowest) The clinical teacher in our first semester said my skills are... Read More

I want to mention something I have been saying in the INTJ personality thread (which I am), because I think it is relevant to the "thrapeutic communication" topic:

I believe that logically,the best thing a nurse can say to facilitate the sharing of information by the client is this: "It is in your best interest to tell me all about your symptoms, as withholding the information may lead to wrong diagnosis, which will in turn lead to adverse effects by and/or the delay of effective treatment, resulting in potentially severe complications and possible [slow and painful, (ok doesn't have to be)] death". Pretty logical, truthfull.. and I'm sure more effective than all the therapeutic communication techniques put together .
As for trusting relationships for performing procedures.. the wording can be pretty much the same: "I hope you are aware that not letting me perform the procedure means you are not receiving proper treatment which may result in the onset of potentially severe complications and possible death from the condition.." I know doesn't sound nice and fluffy, but less time consuming (meaning you can dedicate this time to actually doing the procedures, and to patients who actually need it), more effective, and in the end for your client's own good..

If this is how you truly think that you should be communicating with your patients then I can understand your clinical instructors concern. Your logical and truthful comes across as condescending and threatening not the best way to facilitate communication. Building a trusting relationship doesn't have to be nice and fluffy but borderline assault isn't the way either. (Some instructors could consider threatening the patient with complications unless they let you perform a procedure assault by definition)
The basis for therapeutic communication is empathy, logic has nothing to do with it. If you can't see where the problem lies in your above post then IMO nursing really isn't for you.

Feb 7, '12

being an INTJ does not make you unable to be compassionate and unable to be anything but logical. Just like someone who tests more on the feeling side of things is not unable to use logic. Don't put yourself in a box, it will only hinder your growth as a human being.

Feb 7, '12

Good to hear from you Orletta,

I would like to make a comment on the posting by ms. Co-Co Nut. Althought I would like to think you are honest and in the best interest of this young lady to chime in with your "opinion" that you don't think she belongs in nursing either. Oh please, Ms. CoCo-Nut not all of us we raised in a loving home like "leave it to Beaver" and what some take for granite , others have never experienced before. I see the problem is quite the opposite in the case of nurses. Now you might not think it a tad strange to stick your hand in areas of a compete stranger and never think any more of it. Why is that?? Because many not all have poor to nill boundaries, that is why we can do what we do. While there are those who want to kick this young women to the curb and move on, I couldn't disagree with you more. I don't think anyone has ever been damaged by encouragement, however the curb side of the street is always full. The last think this young lady needs are complete strangers telling her what she should do with her life...you don't know this young lady from Adam and I think it somewhat out of line to opine such an opinion as if she is a long lost cousin. After all it is her life, and just maybe with kindness, emotional support and encouragement she will come into her own becoming a very fine, skilled and tender nurse. Just put one foot in front of the other and before you know it you will come to your own conclusion. I don't really care with all due respect what any one else thinks, no one can deside your future better than you can. Let me hear from you, and how you are doing. FLTNRSE

Feb 8, '12

I am also a strong INTJ, and found it really hard to talk to people who were different than me several years ago.
I started volunteering with a non-profit, and over time learned to talk to the variety of people we served.

I'm still a little apprehensive about talking to my patients in clinicals, but I often find a simple smile and
something like "hi, I'm so and so, I'm a student nurse from __ and here to learn all I can, I was thinking we can do this today,
does that sound good? what can I help you with?, my clinical instructor and your RN will help me answer any questions you may have..." etc. etc.

Usually the instructors have vetted the patients beforehand, and most of mine have been eager to talk and
tell us about their histories.

Obviously you do care, you just need to be patient and let that side of you come out!

I am also a strong INTJ, and found it really hard to talk to people who were different than me several years ago.
I started volunteering with a non-profit, and over time learned to talk to the variety of people we served.

I so can relate to the above, though I am INFP- but volunteering as an English Language Partner reaaaaaally helped my social skills. It was amazing- I guess because the "small talk" had a total purpose- helping others learn English. Really, that experience changed my life and I can't recommend it enough for someone who wants to practice conversation.

Even if you end up working on a vent unit where everyone is sedated, you will still need to make small talk with your co-workers if you want them to work smoothly with you. It's a skill, just like any other skill- some are born with it (the lucky ones), some learn it from parents with solid social skills, and some learn it painfully and painstakingly in adulthood. It will take practice, but if you want to get better at it, you can.

Obviously you do care, you just need to be patient and let that side of you come out!

Feb 8, '12

Fltnrse2,

Posting in a public place is eliciting advice from strangers, that was the purpose. She also had feedback from her instructors and those that know her, which I agree is most likely better than anything we will tell her as we do not know her personally or the entire situation.

I am no PollyAnna, nor some "Leave It to Beaver" spawn ("you don't know this young lady from Adam" nor do you know me to suggest this). I am not a chatty person in real life and small talk was not easy for me to do at first either, but I realize the importance this can have with patient care. From her posts, she has said it was clinical was boring, felt lost and did not see the reasoning behind the small talk. If you read my first post on the first page, I gave her some positive tips on how I go about the interacting w/ patients. My concern for her is that she doesn't seem to understand the reasoning behind therapeutic talk. If she thinks that her example conversations with patients in the above post is the best way to communicate,she might be happier and more comfortable in another area of health care, perhaps one where she can concentrate more on the academic aspects (as she stated she did well in this). I never said she couldn't learn how to be more empathetic with patients, but first she needs to understand why it's important in order to implement it.