avoid jealousy

Recognize that you have a problem. Before you can begin to tackle your jealousy, you need to admit that it's a real problem that is taking over your life and keeping you from loving the person that you are. Jealously can be truly debilitating and can keep you from reaching your goals and becoming a better person. Here are some signs that jealously is taking over your life:

If you spend most of your time wishing you had what others have, instead of appreciating what you have.

If you are constantly comparing yourself to your friends, family members, and coworkers, and finding that you always come up short.

If you are jealous of a specific person and can't hang out with her for five minutes without wishing that you had her clothes, her looks, and her attitude.

If you are jealous of all of your friends' relationships, and wish your relationship could be half as good as theirs.

If you're in a relationship and you can't stand it when your significant other interacts with anyone of the opposite sex. You are convinced that every other girl has only one goal—to steal your boyfriend.

If you're so obsessed that you are constantly looking at your significant other's Facebook, or even his phone or email, for signs that he is cheating on you.

If you can't go more than a few minutes without comparing your relationship, your career, or your family to the relationships, careers, and families of everyone you meet.

If you are incredibly jealous whenever one of your friends hangs out with a new friend. If this makes you ask, "What's wrong with me?"

Reflect on your jealousy. Once you admit that you have a real problem with jealousy and want to tame the ugly green dragon, you have to understand why you are having feelings of jealousy to begin with. If you feel like you are missing out on what others have, then there must be some inadequacies in your own life. Here's how to understand where your feels are coming from:

Are you jealous of just one aspect of your friends' lives? For example, if you're only jealous of your friends' romantic relationships because yours doesn't stack up to theirs, then you should try to improve your relationship on its own terms, or end the relationship if it's not worth saving. Are you jealous of your best friend because she is pursuing her career as an artist, while you're afraid to take that step? This may be a sign that you should rethink your career path.

Are you jealous of absolutely everything anyone has? If you think that you don't have anything that people could be jealous of, then you are suffering from insecurity and a lack of confidence. You need to work on improving how you view yourself before you can move on from your jealousy.

Are you jealous of the way your friends look? Do you feel that your life would be so much better if you looked like they did? Try to develop a unique style, spend more time with a healthy diet and exercise, and just learn to love your best features by looking in the mirror and reminding yourself of the things you love about yourself every day.