FreeP Files: Cults or BU colleges?

I’m sure this is the sort of content you’re expecting from your resident BU conspiracy theorist. However, as a general disclaimer, I’d like to submit to you that the following listing is no more predictive of your future cult membership than astrology’s attempt to forecast whether or not your personality is conducive to your crush’s personality. Writing this article involved a lot of Wikipedia deep-dives and visits to websites that detailed the grisly acts of cults in the ‘90s that lost control. Cults are scary, sure, but what’s scarier than a doomsday disaster? Tuition increases. Welcome to the cult of student loans, Terriers!

Questrom School of Business: The lizard people

This immediate association perhaps goes without saying: snakes, lizards and reptiles of all kinds definitely rule the world under their fleshy masks. According to lore, the Reptilians — lizard aliens that wear human skin — aim to gain power, often political, to later conquer the world. Questrom snakes, take note!

School of Hospitality Administration: The Illuminati

Though CAS might be the most popular BU school, I’d argue that SHA is actually the infamous cult of the Freemasons. You know it exists in some capacity, and there are some major figures, but who are they really? Can you ever tell if someone is in SHA?

College of Communication: Flat Earth believers

In order to combat fake news, COM students must learn how to perpetrate it. I’m 76 percent sure this group exists for the meme value, but nonetheless, COM kids could write a convincing profile on it.

College of General Studies: Those people who think the moon landing was fake

Admittedly, this one isn’t really a cult. However, we all know this is an unwritten requisite for College of General Studies students. Some actually believe the Freemasons were behind the staged Apollo landings, so CGS can thank SHA for that one.

College of Arts and Sciences: Scientology

Scientology is a personal favorite as far as cults go. With a following from Tom Cruise to Beck, the diversity of majors in CAS perhaps accounts for the diversity of Scientologists. From Scientology’s complicated (and expensive) requirements to its slew of pseudo-philosophical beliefs, the confusion of a liberal arts degree in CAS lends itself to later Scientologist leanings.