(Closed) Momzilla

I recently got engaged about a month and a half ago. I have been having so much fun with planning my wedding. My future mother-in-law is amazing! She is totally backing me up on al of my ideas and has come to see several venues with me. My mother on the other hand is not being as supportive.

In the beginning of our engagement my mom would sit and talk to me about the wedding and even went to see a few venues with me. None of which I found to be “the one”. A couple weeks ago I went to see a venue with my FMIL about an hour and a half away. It was EVERYTHING I have ever dreamed of! I instantly fell in love and I cannot imagine myself getting married anywhere else.

It was a huge relief since I am non-religious and my fiance’s family are very Irish Catholic and everyone in his family has a Full mass wedding. Although there was some compromise involved, they were completely supportive. So after that hurdle I could not wait to tell my mom about my dream venue.

My mom was not so happy to see that I liked the venue. All she would say to me is that it is too far and that it would be a hassle for the family. I continued to try to bring it up when I saw her each weekend and every time I got the same reaction and she would just walk away.

She won’t even let me tell her about it and what kinds of accomodations I have come up with. I know it is an hour and a half to two hours away, but the venue has their own Inn on site and several hotels with shuttles around the area. I have even started looking into getting a minibus to transport my family to and from the venue if they would like.

I don’t know what else to do. I am trying to accommodate everyone and my mom won’t even let me explain what I have researched. My fiance’s family is all on board with traveling and have no issue with getting a hotel room or whatever.

Also, we are planning on having the wedding on the Sunday of Memorial Weekend. Therefore, people have a day before and after the wedding to relax and do whatever. One hotel has a waterpark which is great for the kids.

How can I get my mom on board? It’s not like I am the first daughter to get married.

Is it possible that maybe your mom is jealous of you and your FMIL’s relationship with regards to the planning? Maybe she is a bit sulky because you found the perfect venue with your FMIL and whenever the two of you went out it was all nays?

@creativeplannertobee: My parents are helping out. I get the same amount that they gave my sister. My fiance’s family is huge, and everyone is willing to stay in a hotel. They love traveling for weddings and have done it a lot in the past. Therefore, we will need at least 40 rooms and can get great deals on a hotel. So overnight accommodations should not be expensive at all. We are also willing to get a bus to bring my family to the wedding and bring them home if they don’t want to stay overnight. However, I havn’t even been able to bring up the ideas I have thought of because whenever I talk about the venue she changes the subject or just walks away. So the only thing that we have thought of that we can do is to just go ahead and talk to the hotels and bus company and get everything figured out and how much it would cost and then present it all to my mom at once so she can’t think of any other issues with having a semi-destination wedding.

@Moomin: I invited her to come and told her a week ahead of time. And when I called her the night before to tell her where to meet me so we could drive together she said she couldn’t go. She said she was tired and had things to do. I know she is really busy with work and going back to school, but she knew ahead of time and said she was coming and then decided not to at the last minute.

@LaCroix: Yes, we have gone to dinner together with both our families. They are invited to parties and everyone has a great time. I am really starting to think that something else is going on. I never thought my mother would be acting like this. It has been really hard on me not having my own mom support the venue that I have always dreamed of.