Birthmom on a mission :)

I'm currently going through an adoption agency that works in both North Dakota (where i live now) and Minnesota (where I'll be going to school in January - 6 weeks after due date) I'm just starting to look at family profiles and as much as it hurts sometimes thinking about giving my baby away I know I'm doing the right thing.

Is it wrong to look online too though? I've been looking at families that aren't working with the same adoption agency. I just want to see all the possibilities. I know I'm going to be really picky when it comes to adoptive families. I also want a really open adoption and want to build a strong relationship with the family.

I'm going to consider everybody. I've had so many of my friends come up with names of people who have told them they wanted to adopt this little boy (who is currently practicing karate haha). But is it to sketchy to look online? I mean obviously I'll want them to forward their home study and everything to my social worker but is it still okay?

Comments (21)

You need to find whichever family is the best fit for you. Your agency is limited to whom they can present to you. But should you find a family online, say with a facilitating agency, such as Lifetime, then that cajole should you choose them will have many more fees. (ie the ones paid to lifetime & then your agency as well) Another option is that you can always stop working with your agency should you find the perfect match. The agencies just frown upon you hopping around to more than two agencies add they do share resources. Should you decide to do a private adoption (which can sometimes be less expensive), then once you're matched, all the couple well need to do is get an adoption attorney for finalization. So for example, should you find Jane & Jack (who are not tied with an agency)& you choose them, then t they would hire an attorney for them & likely you as well (I suggest you have your own). I hope that makes sense? Pm me if you need more advice. :)

Ps..I can't imagine at all what you're going through...but in the adoption world, we don't think of it as "giving baby away" - it is such a negative connotation. Rather, you are choosing a beautiful life for your son...which is so life giving & selfless. when you find the right family, he should be raised Always knowing his tummy mommy loved him with all her heart & soul.

I don't think there's anything wrong with looking at families that are working with agencies/attorneys other than the one you've been working with. You are never bound to an agency and can look elsewhere anytime you'd like. It's all about what feels most comfortable to you.

Parentprofiles.com is a great place to look at profiles... all families on there must be home study ready, so that might give you some peace of mind knowing that they've been approved to adopt.

There is nothing wrong with looking anywhere and everywhere for the right family for your baby. Do not let anyone influence you into picking a certain family. When you know you know that they are the right family no matter what agency or attorney they are with.

I help assist expectant mothers on a volunteer basis in using all resources available to them to select the family that is right for them. I firmly believe that both adoptive families and expectant parents should have the ability to browse all home study ready families, so they feel confident and comforted in the decision they have made. This is a difficult decision for you and you should not feel the least bit bad for wanting to look outside the agency as well to ensure you are picking the family you feel most comfortable with. If you ahve any questions, please contact me.

As an adoptive mother with an open relationship with our daughter's birthmom... you need to know the decision you are making is a difficult one and you have to not doubt whomever you choose. Our daughter's birthmother says it is still hard ... the adoption, but she never doubts we are the best people to parent our daughters (ours as in all of us). I sincerely wish you all the best on your journey and hope you find the couple that will be best for the baby and for you!

God works in mysterious ways & he puts people in your life for certian reasons. Our sons bm has become like a sister to me. She has a daughter who is 13 months older than our son and has made my husband & I her Godparents & her guardian should something happen to the bm. We struggled to have a family & I never thought adoption is how that would happen, but God had a plan for us and our family did not just extend by one, our family extended by 3 (our son & his bm & birth sister)...

We did a private adoption and met her thru a friend of a friend of a friend... You never know where God will put someone... When you make that connection with a family, you will know, you will feel it!

I think its great to look online.. Me and my DH have been looking all over the internet trying to find a way to do an independent adoption without agancy/facilitator because they charge insane amounts of money that normal people cant afford

You need to find a family that you.will be happy with. It is fine. Look where you want. We are not using an agency we are looking into an opened private adoption. I think that is what it is called. We are hoping to just have an adoption through the court. Nothing like agencys and lawyers. My friends did this with her friend who had a girl and they had a bunch of boys. It has worked out beautifully for them. I'm fine with that kind if adoption.

Also no matter what you are always going to be the woman who made someones life complete.

You will always be his mother. It should be your choice in the end what family should be raising him it truely is a selfless act.