Feedback requested

Gear used in production

There's a good story in here. An African DJ gets his start in his small neighborhood clubs, using less than perfect equipment, honing his craft, hoping to make it big. I applaud you for finding a unique character in an industry where I haven't seen much coverage.

But I think that story is lost in this video for a few reasons.

In my opinion, here's what this piece needs.

1. Technical polishing. Right away, some technical distractions take me out of this video. The interview setting is not interesting. The interview framing is much too loose. The audio is not clear (interviewee needs to be mic'ed).

2. Basic storytelling technique. You have to give the audience a reason to watch within the first 10 seconds. Introduce them to an incredible character. Show them some beautiful shots. Hit them with some of this guy's music. Make it interesting from the first frame. Use your title slide to give them a reason to care. I felt the introduction before we see the DJ was unnecessary. The video was too long.

3. Find a story and focus. Here's just an example. I would take a pen and paper and divide this guy's story up into 3 or 4 chapters. Then focus on telling each chapter in about 40 seconds. Make the story tight. Include quick sound hits of his music. Photos of him growing up. Show his neighborhood on a map if you can't find any photos. Tell the story of his evolution into what he has become. Stay focused on that story. Then tighten up the story even more. Adjust your timing. Tighten again. Polish.