development

Now that I’m a mom, I constantly have this internal battle with myself regarding the massive changes with this new lifestyle of motherhood. It sickens me whenever I hear other parents say to those who have no kids that they shouldn’t have any kids period, as if their a curse from God. No bueno! I find myself having to remind my baby’s father about our great gift whenever friends ask us how we’re doing. Like, no, you don’t get to complain unless you were the one bearing the pains of birth!

But I get so confused and upset sometimes because I want to complete my to do list on a daily basis. I’ve got some easy tasks and others that are a pain in the ass, like figuring out how to back up all your electronics (Sheeshh, as tech gets more sophisticated it also seems to be more complicated… or maybe I’m out of touch).

But I get so confused and upset sometimes because I want to complete my to do list on a daily basis. I’ve got some easy tasks and others that are a pain in the ass, like figuring out how to back up all your electronics (Sheeshh, as tech gets more sophisticated it also seems to be more complicated… or maybe I’m out of touch).

The battle starts with the idea of being constantly present, in the moment with my baby girl. Watching like a hawk for the small details of her development, physical changes and guiding her to understand what’s around her… yet, I have other personal important things to do, goals to accomplish and dreams to fulfill.

Now that I’m a mom, its so ironic to me how I’m more sure and confident about my career and life and what type of action to take… how convenient. It doesn’t help either that I have this constant feeling like theirs a shelf life for my plans and that times being wasting by me choosing to pay attention to my daughters daily activities rather then my own. Then again, I argue, who is she if not the value I place on myself… ultimately, it’s a tug between who’s more important: my daughters development or the future me?…

Maybe its because Isabella’s my first baby that I’m feeling this way, but I haven’t heard many moms talking about this feeling or even express it. I’m literally learning as I go and trying to document it so I can share it with others, but if your a mom and have felt this feeling before, let me know in the comments below! How did you adjust? Did you find a helpful hand from family or did you have to buy it?

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