Catching my balance.

June 2007

27 June 2007

But hi ho silver ride
hi ho silver ride
Takes another ride to get me home
Get off the air
I'm on the stereo stereo
My baby baby baby baby baby
Gave me malaria hysteria

I've had this Pavement song stuck in my head since I picked up film yesterday morning. This isn't as random as it seems. I promise. The film I picked up is the first roll from a stereo camera I got a couple of months ago. The results weren't exactly what I thought they were going to be.

This one kind of looks like it's in stereo, I guess, though I've seen images made with stereo cameras before and they look more like double exposures... one slightly off center the other. Rather than two images of the same thing next to each other.

Actually, this stereo shot isn't the norm.... there's a whole lot of weird strings of stuff on the roll.

On the left and right are basically the same shot of a pig sculpture on U Street in DC. The Rob grafitti is a couple blocks away. But that other bit in the middle with the ladies? That's Honfest. In Baltimore. Which is not in DC. The pigs and Rob were shot five days after I went to Honfest. This is scanned directly from the negative. How could this happen??

In other news, the Anonymous III show has closed, so I can share which image was in it:

24 June 2007

June is one of, if not the, busiest time of year at work for me. It's a month of long days, hectic schedules, late meetings, and a closing bit that never ceases to amaze. By the end I feel like a rag doll.... but after weeks of getting up at 5 in the morning to start rolling with what needs to get done for the day I couldn't sleep even until six this morning, exhaustion be damned.

It put me in the mind of thinking about a roll of film I got back from the lab a few weeks ago that I've been pondering. I'd had the roll cross processed, something I'd always been curious about but hadn't ever had it done myself. The results were.... kind of hit or miss, with the discovery that the color schemes I really thought would pop (and which, consequently, took up three-quarters of the roll), were, in fact, the ones that didn't pop at all. Actually, they kind of ended up looking just super contrasty, over saturated, or poorly exposed. Maybe not so much a miss as not what I was expecting.

The ones that *did* come out something like what I was envisioning were ones I was really rather intrigued by as results.... but which I hadn't paid too much attention to at the time I was making them. Instead, they were things I just shot off to finish up the roll.

Which is interesting in and of itself, in one of those life lesson-y sort of ways. As my friend the Fabulous Miss A always says, you can't fake the funk. (Read: if it ain't working, don't force it). I guess I woke up this morning feeling a bit ponderous and philosophical (as well as a bit washed out and cross-processed) after witnessing some great achievements, a fair amount of struggle, and a few instances of truly shameful behavior, often from surprising quarters. People often defy our expectations-- expectations born out of the ways in which people project themselves that put forward not only what is not truly themselves, but is actually the opposite of their true nature because they think that it's what they are supposed to be. So often I wish I could just shut off the expectation button, as it would probably make it easier to see what the future might bring.

Interestingly, in looking at this film I realize that I *have* cross-processed film before... just not on purpose. When I was on the ill-fated trip to Indonesia I had a roll (the only color roll) of film I'd shot at Borobudur processed at a shop in Yogja. When we went to pick it up I opened the envelope to see only a few pictures, which were all really odd-looking, and a whole lot of jacked up images on the negatives. The friend I was visiting there aided in the discussion with the guy about what happened. He insisted it was something I'd done, though it was manifestly obvious that it was something that had happened during processing. Then he said that it must be old film (which it wasn't). It was pointed out that I'd bought the film in the shop from him the week before. After a lot more discussion he said it might have been the case that he opened the processor before it wad done (hence that blank images at the end of the roll). He never mentioned the cross-processing, but looking at the images next to ones I had cross-processed on purpose, I realize that he probably opened the processor because he suddenly realized, in a panic, that he was cross-processing them.

In that little vignette there are a few things that I've started to think about, things that I value, and things that I don't, and how to get more of one and less of the other in my life. Would that it were so easy. A little cooperation from the universe would be nice here....

14 June 2007

When, in my early-ish twenties, I was living in China (still an undergrad, wending my way through the undergrad system, dropping out periodically for lack of funds and general disarray), there was a guy who lived in my dorm (the running-dog-lackey dorm for capitalist pigs) who used to quote his grandmother's take on having a bad run of luck. She (and he, by extension) used to say that when one was in that state, they "couldn't win for losing." It wasn't then (nor now) a statement that I undertood directly. I get the sentiment, but that string of words doesn't add up as a verbal equation. And yet, I find that I've adopted his weird Southern grandmother's saying.

Lately, I can't win for losing.

June's been a doozy. Skin cancer, operations (minor, but really not so nice), disappointments, logistical nightmares. It's the busiest time of year for me at work. My Monday and Tuesday involved: 1) a disappointment of tremendous propotions; 2) getting pooped on by a pigeon; 3) discovering that one of the rolls of film I shot at hon fest came back blank; 4) receiving a notice from a collection agency that I owed money to Syracuse for a ticket on a car I don't and never have owned; 5) having the water to my house shut off at 5 in the AM because of a billing screw up on the part of the county. By Wednesday morning I didn't really want to get up anymore. Because, hey, I've already spent some quality time in the county clerk's office. If I were smart I would have gotten our marriage license while I was in there. But I'm not terribly smart, so I didn't.

Profound disappointments are... well, profound. They can sometimes just sap the energy right out of you, which is kind of how I feel this week. I did establish with Syracuse that I've never owned a blue BMW SUV. They may decide to waive the ticket in light of the fact that I haven't owned a car since 2004 and the ticket is from last year.

On the upside, my face is healing okay, and I'm less lumpy looking. On the downside, I need to get up in about five hours to get to work early.

Highpoint of the month: after dealing with the water people I went to Whole Foods and got some cherries, which were yummy. Yes, it is more than halfway through the month and that is the highpoint. Bed. I think I need to spend more time there this month.

07 June 2007

Or rather, Anonymous III. I have a piece in Anonymous III, a show/auction to benefit the WPA/C and Flashpoint. The idea is that there are a hundred or so pieces in the room, all of the same size (24" x 24"), with no labeling. They are created by ten established artists who each select an additional nine emerging artists, and all are shown together. The pieces auction for the same price, and you don't know (at least not for sure) who's work is whose until after it's purchased. Which means, of course, that I can't say which piece is in there... but guessing which piece was made by whom is half the fun, yes?

I like the idea a lot-- I mean, it seems as though people will end up buying what they like because they like it, since it's without attribution. And I'm really happy to have been asked by Ian Jehle to participate. Just going through the process has been interesting. I used to paint as well as photograph, and when I painted 2' x 2' would have been a smallish piece for me. But for a photograph, that feels bloody massive. I've never seen any of my photographs printed that large. It was really cool to see one of them so large-- as a print, and then ready for display. I like the image that was selected, and was really chuffed to have it chosen, as it was one of those images that I thought was quirky and only I would really like it. (A picture only a mother could love? Apparently not.) And the show looks really interesting-- I was there the other day to drop off the image, and there are some wonderful pieces up for grabs.

So, if you're in the DC metro area you should come see it while everything is up (and maybe get yourself a great work of art!). The show opens tonight and runs through July 23rd at the Flashpoint gallery. Opening is tonight, so if you're around, you should pop by for an evening of speculated attribution!

OPENING PREVIEW RECEPTION: THURSDAY, JUNE 7, 6-8pmSorry, no works will be sold at the preview.

FIRST DAY TO PURCHASE: FRIDAY, JUNE 8, 6-8pm First come, first served.

02 June 2007

It was great to go, even if I was feeling a bit off with shooting (a lot of shots that ended up trashed once I downloaded them). I brought P and my friend T, who has been staying with us the last couple weeks while she works on getting settled in D.C. after more than five years living in South America. It was the first time either of them had ever been to see roller derby, and they both seemed to enjoy it, though not the drive home so much, which was long and late.

And last week was Memorial Day and P and I decided to take advantage of the holiday by heading for West Virginia, which neither of us had been to before (I once drove through the edge of it at night in a snow storm, but I don't think that counts). We headed west with a carload (literally) of cameras, and rolled around all weekend, taking lots and lots of pictures.

We brought the large format monorail cameras, and I got to play with the tilt/shift stuff while we were in a place called Cass. It was a town created by a lumber company, so it was full of houses that were all completely identical, having been built by the company. There was a company store (now a store and restaurant), and a rail spur that linked to the larger line. And not much else. The houses are in varying states of care or disrepair, from the weekly rental (it's run by the state park service) to the collapsed.

It was a great trip, but for Sunday night, when we popped over the W.V. border into Virginia to find a hotel to spend the night. We ended up in Covington. Not a happy place. Not much by way of accomodations, and what was there was wildly overpriced (oh boy, the romantic view of the truck depot). We drove around the town a bit, and every road we were on was lined with sagging turn of the century houses with couches on the front porch and unhappy looking dogs pacing the front yard. The most posh thing in town looked to be the football field. The high school had a sign of recent vintage in front congratulating itself on having become accredited. We looked at each other, eyebrows cocked, as we passed the Rent to Own outfit in a building that looked like it might have once been a KFC. The sign on the side said, "We have guns!" Rent to own guns?

The main project for this week was to deal with a health issue: basal cell carcinoma. A little thing on my cheek, just under the eye, that I'd had removed about five years ago, only to reappear a few months ago. Both times the dermatologists didn't think it looked like anything to be worried about, but tested it anyway since there is a family history (and, at least in part, to assuage my concerns). Both times it turned out to be cancerous. Last time the guy took to my cheek with a little hole puncher thing. This time was more extensive, though still minor (I had two stitches last time; this time was six). Minor or not, it's really painful and swollen, and I've got a shiner, making me look like I got into it with someone. It's also just exhausting, and I actually took a two hour nap yesterday.