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Bah

I was trying to force myself to skip a day of posting, but now I’m in need of a grumble. I got sideswiped by ‘Surprise, Rage!‘, and I needed to growl it out. I am rather vexed at my brain for finding a tiny opening when I was optimistic that I was moving towards better to wind me right up to the point of near-yelling and tears. I’m holding it back ’cause I can’t give into the luxury of rage; if I do, things go downhill dangerously quickly. It’s why I used to drink and smoke heavily — it helped me drown out that part of my psyche. So instead I’m trying to not cry and punch things — yay! I think I’ll pull through tonight, especially since my daughter is already in bed (and while I love her, she can be a trial when I’m busy fighting my head space).