What's Toxic Stress?

What's Toxic Stress?

The biological response to severe and/or repeated adversity absent the buffering support from a caring and trusted adult.

Toxic stress can harm a child's developing brain and body.

If left unaddressed, toxic stress can affect growth, learning, behavior, immunity and even the way DNA is read and transcribed. Kids who are exposed to very high doses of adversity without the support of a loving and caring adult can have more than double the lifetime risk of heart disease and cancer and a nearly 20-year difference in life expectancy. Yikes.

If your child has been exposed to adversity, know you’re not alone. Roughly half of children in the US are affected. But there’s good news: Research shows parents can be the most powerful force in preventing or even reversing the impact of toxic stress in their children. That’s why we’re on a mission to help.

Positive Stress

Our body’s response to normal everyday stress, like starting a new daycare or taking a test at school.

Stress hormones help the body do what’s needed in the moment, but once the event passes, our body goes back to its normal state.

Tolerable Stress

Our body’s response to more serious stress like a scary injury, immigration, or living through a natural disaster.

A flood of powerful stress hormones help the body rise to the occasion. However, the presence of a caring and trusted adult can offset this rush, calming the child’s stress response, and building resilience.

Toxic Stress

Our body’s response to severe and/or lasting stress such as emotional or physical abuse, or neglect – without support from a caring and trusted adult.

Powerful stress hormones overwhelm the child’s body and brain. This can result in lifelong issues with mental and physical health, as well as behavior.

Types of Stress Response

What are the signs?

What are the signs?

If you notice your child is having sleep issues, frequent headaches or tummy aches, crying more than usual, becoming extra clingy, regressing to bed wetting or baby talk, or developing new fears, it could be related to toxic stress.

In school age kids and adolescents, learning, behavior, mood and sleep issues are some common signs.

These aren't the only symptoms, but they do provide important clues that your child may be experiencing toxic stress.

Although children get frequent illnesses because they are building their young immune systems, those experiencing toxic stress are more likely to get frequent colds and other infections. They are also at higher risk for health conditions such as asthma. Delays in healthy development are also more common for children experiencing toxic stress.

Is My Kid at Risk?

Is My Kid at Risk?

Is My Kid at Risk?

To better understand if a child is at risk for toxic stress, clinicians will look at how many Adverse Childhood Experiences (or “ACEs”) they’ve been exposed to.

We’re not talking about “I was nervous for a test” or “I played badly in my soccer game.” Adverse Childhood Experiences means damaging life events like emotional or physical abuse, neglect, parental addiction and mental illness. Experiences that can be life altering for a child. The list below isn’t exhaustive, but if your kid has experienced ACEs, they may be at risk for toxic stress. But even if this is the case, don’t panic! There’s a lot you can do as a parent. Knowing what’s happening is the first step to getting help. And the earlier we’re able to help a child, the better the outcome over the long run.

Here are the ten categories of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) from the original ACE Study.

Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Credit: Robert Wood Johnson Foundation

Okay, so now what? If your kid is dealing with toxic stress, what do you do? Join us.

Stress Health.

Stress Health.

Stress Health isn’t just a suggestion. It’s a movement. It’s not just information.It’s a solution.

We are doctors, researchers, communicators, therapists and parents. And when we discovered the staggering effects toxic stress has on kids’ long-term health, we were shocked. So we joined forces to do something about it. More than anything, we want you to know we’re glad you’re here. Because you can help us help kids lead longer, healthier lives.

Here’s how: research shows that the right kind of support and care can mitigate the impact of toxic stress in children and help them bounce back. There are ways parents can support a healthy stress response: sleep, nutrition, exercise, mental health, mindfulness and healthy relationships. These things help to decrease our stress hormones and inflammation for healthier brains and bodies.

Below, you’ll find practical tips on how you can incorporate these building blocks into your kid’s day. We can help kids bounce back, together.

Healthy Relationships

It all starts here. You see, every family goes through some adversity. For some families, however, the adversities are too severe or too many for a child’s stress response. If you’re a parent in this situation, fostering supportive relationships is the best thing you can do to help your kid. Here are some ways to make that happen:

It Starts at Infancy

The little games we play with our babies have some pretty compelling science behind them. Playing peek-a-boo, singing or reading stories can help your baby develop millions of neural connections per second. So do the small things; they have big impact.

Connect to Community

Human beings need social connection to lead healthy lives. Constructive social engagement and connectedness create meaningful connection to a community. Family events, community activities, local church programs, sports, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are all great options here.

Know Your Kids, Know Their Friends

Friends become powerful influences on children, especially as they grow older. Who are your child’s three best friends at school? Here are 20 questions you can ask instead of the usual “how was school?”

A Go-To For the Hard Stuff

Kids need someone to talk to about the difficult things in their lives. Who’s your kid’s go-to? It could be mom, dad, grandma, uncle, auntie, a beloved teacher, sports coach or school counselor.

When kids have strong, supportive relationships in their lives, they’re far more resilient. And resilient kids—even those who have experienced high levels of adversity—have better school and health outcomes than those who are not as resilient. That’s huge.

The Power Of Hugs

Physical contact is a key ingredient in growing a healthy brain and a strong body. In fact, a hug goes much deeper than the skin. Hugs help calm the stress response, protecting and healing from the inside out. So, give your kid a high-five or a hug to let them know that they're loved and supported. You can never get too many snuggles.

healthy-relationships

Healthy, supportive relationships start with you, so make sure you’re doing enough self-care. “Put your own oxygen mask on first”, as they say on airplanes. You’ll find that you may feel better, and have more capacity for everyone in your life.

Stress:

Sleep

It can be hard to enforce what we call good sleep hygiene, but it is oh-so worth it. Kids who get the right amount of sleep get sick less frequently, focus and behave better in school, and manage stress more easily. All good things! So what’s the right way to get to sleep?

Routines are your friend. Establish yours and stick to it. Great sleep patterns start during the day, so make sure your children are getting enough physical activity (see “exercise,” below) during the day.

Create a sleep-supportive bedroom environment for your kids. That means lights should be dim and noise in the house should be minimal. Remember: The bed should be a comfortable place for sleep, not play.

No technology in the bedroom at night. The light from phones, tablets and laptops has been shown to interfere with healthy sleep.

30 min

before bedtime

All screens should be off and no screens in the bedroom!

25 min

before bedtime

PJ's on, brush teeth.

20 min

before bedtime

Read books - this is a great opportunity to create those special bonds with your kids.

Bedtime

Hug, kiss, squeeze, lights out!

So how much sleep does your child need? Probably more than you think! Research shows the following recommendations work best for kids:

Infants (4-12 mo)

12-16 hrs/day

including naps

Toddlers (1-2 yrs)

11-14 hrs/day

including naps

Preschoolers (3-5 yrs)

10-13 hrs/day

including naps

Gradeschoolers (6-12 years)

9-12 hrs/day

Teens (13-18 yrs)

8-10 hrs/day

Stress:

Nutrition

We want to instill healthy eating habits in kids to help the immune system manage stress and protect a child’s development during time of adversity.

1

Eat Fruits and Vegetables at Every Meal

Include fresh, frozen, or canned fruits and vegetables in every meal. Aim for at least five servings of fruits and vegetables a day.

2

Get Your Children Involved

Offer your child a choice between two healthy food options (“Would you like an apple or an orange?”). Involve your child in meal planning, shopping, and meal preparation.

3

Eat Breakfast Every Day

Eating breakfast helps your child start the day in a healthy way. Include fruits and whole grains whenever possible. Children and adults who eat breakfast daily are less likely to be overweight.

4

Eat Together As a Family

Try to set aside your meals as family time, and eat together as often as possible. Even babies can join family meal time. By 9 months of age, children are able to eat on the same schedule as you. Mealtimes are a great opportunity to create strong family bonds by talking about what’s going on in our lives, both good and bad.

5

Drink Water with Each Meal and Snack

Your child should drink at least six to eight cups of water a day to stay properly hydrated. Drinking water with each meal and snack is an easy way to do this; as well as before, during and after physical activity (e.g., playing outdoors, participating in sports). Help your child develop the habit of reaching for water first, and limit their intake of juices and sugary sodas.

Stress:

Exercise

Active play is a great way to manage stress. It’s also a great way to build healthy bodies and minds. Physical activity does this by reducing the risk of obesity, related chronic conditions like diabetes and heart disease, and also by reducing the likelihood of mood issues such as depression and anxiety. Other benefits are better classroom behavior and concentration, a stronger immune system, improved self-esteem… exercise should be a part of everyone’s daily recipe for optimal health and happiness! Here are five ways you can make sure your child is getting the 60 minutes per day they need:

1

Turn off the Screens

Screen time robs our kids of time they could be exercising. Limit screens to one hour per day.

2

Plan Ahead

Make sure your kid has a time and place for active play. If exercise isn’t a priority for us, it’s much less likely to happen. Don’t just think about finding time, make time. Put it on your calendar if you need.

3

Provide active toys

Jump ropes, balls, bikes, and scooters. Just having active toys around can help you sneak in some active time for your little ones.

4

Find a fun activity

Kids get more exercise when they have an activity they enjoy. Soccer? Bike riding? Hiking? Basketball? Tennis? The more your child enjoys the activity, the more often they’ll get the exercise they need.

5

Be a role model

Kids who see their parents being active are more likely to be active themselves. What do you like to do to stay in motion? Even going for a short walk with your child can provide an important chance to talk, laugh and move together.

exercise

Keep in mind: If your kid is over-stressed and amped up, you can help them cool down with movement. Try “shaking out” some big feelings. Or striking a yoga pose together.

Stress:

Mental Health

Mental and behavioral health professionals are super important in the fight against toxic stress. They can help identify and address the underlying issues, and help get your child get back on a healthy developmental track. Mental health treatment can also be incredibly helpful for parents who have unresolved trauma of their own, which may influence their capability to care for their children. So how do you get started?

First, it is essential to consider mental health without judgment, in the very same way as you think about physical health. Depression can be as crippling as a broken leg. If you have concerns, discuss them with your primary care doctor or your child’s pediatrician. They can help connect you with the right mental health professional who:

Uses evidence-based practices, which really just means practices that have been proven to work.

Remember, as part of your child’s treatment, the therapist will likely ask for your participation and cooperation—this is critical for the recovery of your child and the well-being of your family.

Stress:

Mindfulness

Children exposed to ACEs may have more difficulty with impulse control when faced with stressful situations. But mindfulness exercises can help – a lot! Mindful parenting can help improve your child’s behavior and build their resilience. And mindful practices help clinicians more effectively treat youth and their families. Here’s a quick mindfulness exercise to incorporate into your own day, and one to work on with your kids:

How to self-regulate when facing a challenging situation:

1. Stop

Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now?

2. Take a Breath

Ask yourself: “Am I breathing too fast right now or holding my breath? Can I take a deep breath?”

3. Observe

Ask yourself: “What else am I feeling in my body? What are my thoughts right now?”

4. Proceed

Ask yourself: “Am I OK with what happens next if I ____?”

Decide to respond in a way that works best for you.

How to teach your kids to self-regulate:

When you notice your child is upset, ask, “How are you feeling?”

1

Listen to what they are saying and help them name their feelings.

Example

“I hear that you wanted to go out in the street and get that ball. It sounds like you are really angry that I didn’t let you go in the street to get it.

2

Acknowledge how hard it is being a kid.

Example

“I know it’s hard being 3 years old and not being able to do everything you want to do.”

3

Help them examine consequences, e.g. “If you do_________ then_________ can happen.”

Example

“If you run out into the street by yourself, you might get hit by a car and that would really hurt you and I would be sad that you were hurt.”

4

Offer them an alternative.

Example

“How about we go get that ball together? You can hold my hand and we’ll look for cars before we go on the street so we don’t get hurt.”

These exercises will help you and your kids respond rather than react to stressful situations—always a good thing!

We Can Do This.

We Can Do This.

Toxic stress is an urgent health crisis in our society. Though often hidden, toxic stress leads to huge increases in some of the top killers of our generation: heart disease, cancer, suicide, opioid addiction and more.

But there is good news: Now we know just how harmful toxic stress is to our kids. So now we can do something about it, together.

We can stop stressing perfection. And instead, stress what works. We can stop stressing appearances. And stress the science that is so compelling.

We can stress building resilient families that adapt to adversity in healthy ways.