First off, let me say I thought this was a nice chapter. It was another good introduction to your story showing readers exactly what happened to Maia. The Metatron cube was a little strange, I have to say mostly because it sounded more Transformers than Naruto. Haha but that's okay, I got the point.

Honestly, I do feel bad for Obito sometimes because he really did love Rin, and it sucked how she was just taken away from him (I won't say how just in case you haven't read the Manga, or others haven't). You kept him in character quite well, by the way. He was creepy and sadistic. I could see him trying something like that in the actual Naruto since he already went crazy over the girl.

Now, I do have some pointers I would like to give you. Again, this chapter was great, but I feel like it was a bit rushed as some places, such as her escape. It seemed too easy and I think there would have been more of a struggle like Obito calling her a liar and Maia actually trying something or contemplating the likelihood of her attempting suicide. The conversation with Kakashi could of had a little more detail. My last tidbits are Iruka shows up out of nowhere haha. I don't know if you actually meant Kakashi? And I think more detail could be added to how the nurse knew Rin's soul by her eyes.

Believe me, I'm starting to love this story! I just want to help you out a bit. :) I'll be reading on for sure!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it! It honestly means so much to me. Yes, I was conflicted about using the words 'metatron's cube' because although it is a pattern of shapes in sacred geometry, which I looked up and thought would be perfect for a summoning jutsu that involves completely resurrecting a soul from the dead, but few people know what a metatron's cube looks like without google searching it! I think I'll go ahead and change it soon to sound more naruto-esque.
Yes, I am up to date, and have the entire story I'm writing already plot lined in my head all the way to the end of the manga. (Don't worry it's not super long!) I feel bad for him too.
And yes, I do feel the same way in places, though I couldn't write about her fighting him with jutsu or physical combat because at the moment the power difference is too great. The fight itself was hurried because if they were to fight, it would be over in a minute. But yes she could have thought more about her possible suicide instead of simply deciding in a second. I'm a bit lost in one place of the comment, however. How was Maia lying to Obito? Do you mean by trying to escape? I could definitely try to add more dialogue in both the Obito section and the Kakashi one. And yes I used to have it written as Iruka saving her, not Kakakshi. I must have forgotten one sentence. (I actually rewrote the first few chapters many times because the first time I wrote sections of them was eight years ago! I'll be sure to look those few over one more time.)
Thank you very much for the feedback. I really do appreciate it because it helps me improve as a writer, and it makes the story better! And thank you again for reading. :)

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it! It honestly means so much to me. Yes, I was conflicted about using the words 'metatron's cube' because although it is a pattern of shapes in sacred geometry, which I looked up and thought would be perfect for a summoning jutsu that involves completely resurrecting a soul from the dead, but few people know what a metatron's cube looks like without google searching it! I think I'll go ahead and change it soon to sound more naruto-esque.
Yes, I am up to date, and have the entire story I'm writing already plot lined in my head all the way to the end of the manga. (Don't worry it's not super long!) I feel bad for him too.
And yes, I do feel the same way in places, though I couldn't write about her fighting him with jutsu or physical combat because at the moment the power difference is too great. The fight itself was hurried because if they were to fight, it would be over in a minute. But yes she could have thought more about her possible suicide instead of simply deciding in a second. I'm a bit lost in one place of the comment, however. How was Maia lying to Obito? Do you mean by trying to escape? I could definitely try to add more dialogue in both the Obito section and the Kakashi one. And yes I used to have it written as Iruka saving her, not Kakakshi. I must have forgotten one sentence. (I actually rewrote the first few chapters many times because the first time I wrote sections of them was eight years ago! I'll be sure to look those few over one more time.)
Thank you very much for the feedback. I really do appreciate it because it helps me improve as a writer, and it makes the story better! And thank you again for reading. :)

This was good, nice and long, full of stuff. Man I am so hooked to read more!

Author's Response: Ahhh, I'm so happy you like it! Yeah it's going to start getting a lot fuller and deeper. Fun will be had, tears will be shed, love will be… loved, and things will start to make sense for her, and Kakashi too.

Looking forward to reading more! despite his personality and affiliation, Kabuto is a cutie!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your continued support! Yeah, I know he can come off as mean in the anime, but I'm going to show a better side to him in this. He's kind of an idiot to people because that's what he learned to be from his past. But he'll reveal some more appealing qualities in the near future. Yes he is a cutie!

I'm really enjoying this story and can't wait to read the rest of the chapters!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, truly you have no idea how much that means to me. I've been working hard and developing this story for years. To hear you like it means a lot. It's going to get intricate :)