BLEED SAILORMOON BLEED
by DDFA (Mark A Page)
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Sailormoon is owned by a whole lot of people who aren't me, so I'm
only abusing these characters in a manner that most people would
describe as scandalous. ^_^
Warning - This story contains scenes of graphic violence of the
visceral kind, and concepts that may be somewhat disturbing to some.
I would, therefore, suggest that none of you kiddies read it.
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Enemies have this tendency to want to kill lots of people, and
this is especially true of anyone who stands in their way.
Sailormoon stood her ground, holding on to a bleeding Mercury,
as the last of Deathmaster's guards died from the simplest of
attacks that she was still capable of sending. She then turned to
her senshi and felt ill.
The girl's face was covered with her own blood and that of the
guards. She was panting heavily, her eyes closed. She also no
longer had her right arm.
Nearby lay Mars, her skull cracked open and her guts ripped
open, lying on top of the body of the guard who killed her in this
manner, still smoking from the last fire blast she would ever send.
On the other side of the room was Venus, sitting up against
the cavern wall, still with that shocked expression she'd had on her
face the moment a hole was blown through her chest. Her hand was
still clutching her Venus Love Me Chain, the other end wrapped
around the broken neck of her murderer.
Uranus and Neptune went out together, clearing the entrance to
Deathmaster's lair. Before anyone else had an opportunity to react
upon the appearance of the guards, they'd piled straight in,
sacrificing themselves in a manner that only they were capable of
doing. Their bodies lay together, shredded, their flesh and blood
splattered throughout the equally splattered remains of the three
hundred guards they took out with them.
But that was nothing compared to what Jupiter and Saturn took
out, together. Jupiter had gone into a sheer blood frenzy as soon
as she'd seen Uranus and Neptune die, ripping the heads and limbs
off guards with her bare hands, taking the most horrible of wounds
without even feeling them. She continued to kill for up to ten
minutes after it was painfully obvious that she was already dead.
It had to have been hard to keep standing after having had your
heart ripped from your chest.
Sailormoon could no longer see her. Her body lay under a pile
of guards' corpses. But she could see Saturn. The girl never had
an opportunity to destroy the world, as was her role, when it looked
like an enemy was going to win. Instead, she'd hacked and chopped
her way through guards with a spinning and twirling Silence Glaive,
first in an attempt to save Uranus and Neptune, then in an equal
attempt to save Jupiter, and finally in a desperate attempt to save
herself. She almost succeeded, too! Almost. An explosive blast
from one of the guard's generals finished her. Now she rested,
still standing, both hands on the glaive, whose blade had been
thrust through the head of that general.
Their loss wasn't in vain, though. All those senshi, who had
died, had managed to decimate the number of guards until there were
no more than six or seven left. Even so, it was foolhardy for
someone like Mercury, whose powers were intrinsically defensive, to
try to take them on. Still, there seemed to be a lot in her armory
of attacks that Sailormoon hadn't seen before. She wondered why
Mercury had never used them.
Then one of the last two guards gripped her by the arm and
tore it off, then backhanded her across the cavern. Sailormoon had
only just managed to catch her when she felt Pluto's hand on her
shoulder. She looked up into Pluto's eyes, and something passed
between them.... Something she wished had never had to happen.
Then Pluto charged forward, blasting both guards with her Dead
Scream. One died, the other was still alive enough to swing at her
and break her neck.
Sailormoon finished him.
And none of them had even managed to get close to taking on
Deathmaster, himself.
Sailormoon looked sadly into the face of Mercury as she felt
the girl go cold, her breathing coming to a stop. Slowly, she
lowered her senshi to the ground.
"How touching...." Came a small but annoying voice from the
entrance to Deathmaster's lair. She turned and stared at the demon
from space, himself.
Nothing more than a dwarf. A dwarf with immense powers, but
the most smarmy, smug and repugnant dwarf that one could ever hope
to bear witness to. She sneered at him with total contempt. He
merely chuckled.
"Looks like your friends did my guards for a treat." He
turned and reached into the nearest pile of dead guards, rummaging
around in the sickening mess, eventually pulling out a human arm.
Jupiter's arm. "Well well well, what do we have here?" He tossed
it towards Sailormoon. "She did a good job. Pity she was a
Sailorsenshi. I really would have liked to have someone like that
guarding me."
"You b..bastard!" Sailormoon croaked. "Why did you come to
our world? Why did you have to infect our planet with your
presence?"
Deathmaster chuckled, shaking his head. "I was hungry. Why
else would I come to a planet with living beings? I do it
everywhere I go. Invade the planet, take control and harvest the
lifeforms. When the planet is dead, I move on. Quite an enjoyable
little quest." He rubbed his chin. "I wonder how I'll cook you?
Should I stew you, or have you roasted, with steamed vegetables."
"Oooohhh.... Yes master. Let me roast her, I shall make you
the finest roast princess in the universe." A sniveling little
toad of a creature, dressed in a chef's white coat and hat,
sharpening some meat knives as he salivated over the carnage in the
cavern, stepped out from behind Deathmaster. His lord turned to
him, smiling.
"In time, Gaston.... I just want the pleasure of killing her,
myself." Deathmaster looked back up at Sailormoon, rubbing his
hands together. Gaston laughed inanely.
"Oooh, yesss. Make sure to tenderise the meat, first. These
princesses can be pretty tough to work with, otherwise."
Sailormoon gritted her teeth in sheer disgust. "I shall never
let you eat the living beings of MY world."
"Oh do shutup." Deathmaster smiled, and fired a blast of
energy in her direction. She tried to dodge, but failed. She was
flung to the rear wall of the cavern, striking it with a sickening
thud. She stared in shock as she slid down, leaving a trail of
blood behind her.
"Can't lose.... Not to this freak...." She whispered to
herself as she stared at the floor, having rested in a sitting
position, feeling the warm, wet sensation of her blood, running down
her back.
"Heeeheeeheee...." Gaston started to dance around. "I should
collect some of the other senshi and fry them down.... The juices
shall make a lovely base for the gravy...."
Sailormoon looked up as Deathmaster approached, a feeling of
sickened fear crossing her face. "Yesssss.... That's right,
Sailormoon. Bleed! BLEED!" He stepped right up to her, grabbing
her chin with a hand. "I HATE you. I despise all of your kind.
Even when I was a child, back on my homeworld, I hated you. Back in
the days when I was a member of the anti-senshi party...." He
smiled. "We used to hunt your kind down and burn you on the stake.
Witches! 'Burn the Witch', we used to shout. And then you routed
us.... Drove us to the point of extinction, until there was only
one of us left...." He sneered at her with contempt. "Bleed,
Sailormoon. Bleed for what you kind did to mine."
"Potatoes, carrots, beans and peas.... Pumpkins,
cauliflowers, cabbages and suedes.... Teeheeheeheehee...." Gaston
hopped from senshi body to senshi body, dragging them back to a small
pile in the center of the cavern. Sailormoon watched, dazedly, as he
grabbed Pluto and dumped her on top of the others, remembering what
passed between them before she died.
"You think it's that simple.... Do you?" She looked up at
Deathmaster, croaking. He frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"Do you think.... that we would let you... just get away with
what you are doing? What you have done?" She smiled, feeling the
darkness starting to descend on her, willing it to come, fast.
Deathmaster backed away. "GASTON! She's smiling! Why is she
smiling? WHY?" He blurted out, suddenly filled with a sense of
fear he had not felt, before. Gaston looked up as he started to
carve up the senshis' bodies into useable portions.
"My lord?"
"She's SMILING! She shouldn't be doing THAT! Not NOW!"
Sailormoon shook her head. "There was one thing you never
took account for, when you came to our world. Pluto never ever
allows herself to lose. Not even in death." She chuckled,
painfully. "She placed the continued existence of this system into
my body. When I die, everything goes with me."
"NOOOOOOOO!" Deathmaster cried out in a splenetic rage.
Sailormoon died, the blood loss finally taking its toll.
The solar system evaporated in a supernova the likes of which
had not been seen for millennia....
A VERY DEFINITE END
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THE VARIOUS RANTS AND RAVES ABOUT THIS FIC ^_^
(The names of the majority of those who have responded have not been
included to protect the innocent. The one name whose comments HAVE
been included can be verified by anyone from the FFML.... And, of
course, an opinion from the nice people at the "A Sailormoon
Romance" site. ^_^
Dear Sir:
I haven't been able to find a job.
I haven't been able to get social assistance.
I haven't eaten well in nearly a month.
I'm going to be evicted from my appartment on Monday unless I
come up with three hundred and nine dollars in unpaid rent, and I
don't have anywhere to go.
My parents have said I can move in with them, but there's no
way in hell they're going to be able to get out from B.C. to
Edmonton in time. And I'm nearly twenty-three years old.
My computer has died, taking with it the almost completed
final chapter of "Best of All The Years II", my last true
obligation.
And then this.
Thank you, DDFA. You've made the worst day of my life
complete.
I hope your death is as painful and humiliating as mine.
Yours sincerely,
Chris Davies.
The doomed.
----o
I think a better title would be "Slaughter Night 8 : Deathmasters
Revenge" This is the most gory fic I have ever read, and makes me
wonder if the author has lived in a meat factory their entire life
(Not that is a bad thing). The kill count is massive and
unforgiving.. Just how I like it!
----o
First, there was Usagi is Dead 1.
Then, there was SIU.
Then, there was Usagi is Dead 2.
Then, this.
I've probably missed a couple things in there, but I don't care.
To quote a phrase: "I sense a trend here."
Mark, you're a good writer from a technical standpoint. You've got
a lot of skill at crafting prose. But if you hate the series this
much...
STOP F***ING WRITING IN IT!
This was not a labour of love, like every other fanfiction I've
read. This was not exploring a dimension in the series, or a new
story, or anything.
This was: "I felt like killing of the Senshi in a gruesome and
horrible way. Let's share it with everyone."
This felt like a labour of hate from begining to end.
Please, Mark, I beg you. If you hate Sailor Moon, just don't write
in it.
----o
That's absurd. Nobody eats that fast and eventually someone would
stop him...or he'd get fat.
----o
Hmmm.... OK, I am not going to jump on the bandwagon of "How dare
you write this". OTOH, I don't necessarily feel this is of the
quality and skill of your previous works, either.
I _like_ Usagi is Dead and SIU, so I think I'm at least entitled
to point out what I consider to be a major flaw in this piece.
It isn't the death of the Senshi. Hell, the girls die all the
time. You've gotta figure that, at some point, the odds are gonna
catch up with them.
It's the attitude. I see no evidence, in any of series that I've
seen, that Usagi (or Pluto or most of the others) woule be willing
to destroy innocent lives just to rob a villain of victory.
Yes, Saturn is supposed to destroy the world, if things come down
to that. But even then, she's destroying the world to save the
universe from whatever is attacking the world. If Usagi and Pluto
conspire to destroy the Universe, who are they saving?
C'mon, Mark, you can do better.
----o
Whoa! Very well done if a tad gross. I can easily see Sailor Moon
doing just what you had her do to save the solar system from being
eaten *shudder* Congrats on a very dark but very well written
little story!
----o
Hmmm.... Wouldn't they all have died anyway ? I mean If the villain
won wouldn't you think the villain would do something to the world
he just conquered instead of stand there and gloat ? I mean he DID
say he was going to cook and eat everybody on the planet. I guess
what it comes down to is would you rather died in a quick,impersonal
supernova explosion or a VERY personal slow roasting death (or
boiled? or fried ? or parched ? or raw ? etc.)
----o
How depressing. No, I'm not talking about the storyline, deaths
don't have that affect on me, due to certain life events. I'm
talking about just how clumsy you were in your psychological
execution here(ooo, pun). Evoking true emotion (ie, not just
outrage) from such events usually requires some subtlety, but all
you've done is gone the spamfic option; slamming home your point
without any finesse.
I'm not sending this out of outrage, or anger, or righteous fury.
I'm sending this because I found the story _boring_, and that's a
far more compelling reason to point out that the plot has severe
problems(even a Serenity such as the one hinted at in my SM story
wouldn't allow the universe to be destroyed as some sort of hissy 'I
hate losing' fit. No Usagi which wasn't believability-inhibitingly
OOC would do it).
Either give more setup, try to evoke some true emotion somewhere -
which could be anything as simple as staring into one of the
Senshi's unclosed eyes or something, or else don't bother trying to
pretend that this isn't just what we all take it as - a relatively
sad shout for attention, a shockfic.
And as far as shockfics go, I'm afraid, I thought it was a bit of a
fizzer. Sorry, but that's the way it is. Comments _and_ criticism,
that's what the list is for.
----o
The thing of it is, that's never been Usagi's way. Setsuna *might*
try to set up something like this -- the Outer Senshi have always
been more machiavellian and pragmatic than the Inner -- but Usagi
would never go along with it. She's always convinced that there is
another way, a way to save everyone, even the villains -- and
usually she's right.
Where did Pluto get the power to do this, anyway? It doesn't seem
to fall into the sphere of mastery of time. Further, I don't think
she'd have the power to affect Serenity like that without her
consent (which, as I've said, I don't think she'd give) -- if
nothing else, the Ginzuishou could sever the tie. For that matter,
the Ginzuishou is usually Usagi's weapon of last resort, not self-
destruct deadmans switches -- why isn't it even mentioned?
Basically, I don't see that there's actually very much of anything
in this story. It can basically be summed up as 'This senshi dies,
then this senshi dies, then this senshi dies in a particulary gory
way, then the villain brags, then Sailor Moon dies, then everything
blows up.' It attempts to play on the heartstrings, but substitutes
slasher-movie violence for emotional connections and sacrifice.
It's not too interesting in terms of plot, and there's little in the
characterization of note. As far as 'let's kill everyone to destroy
the main villain' plots go, I felt far more genuine emotion and even
shock from the last two episodes of the first season, which have ten
times the impact with less then a tenth of the gore.
The problem with this is that it's dark, but not innovative. It's
even only vaguely believable in its darkness. If you want to do
believable Sailor Moon darkness, I recommend keeping everyone in
character for it, and starting by reviewing the darkest episodes of
the actual series. The end of the first season, Haruka and Michiru
at the Marine Cathedral, the final story arc against Galaxia -- all
times when senshi go willingly to their deaths, that involve the
viewer far more than any gruesome descriptions of skulls getting
caved in or flesh being flayed from bones.
You do have a certain amount of skill as a writer. However, you
still need to work on craft issues, such as constructing an
involving plot, creating genuine emotional resonses, and selecting a
subject matter that is both satisfying to you and interesting to
your audience. You've got potential, but you'll have to really work
to realize it.
----o
Chris, I just have to disagree with you. Mark loves Sailor Moon,
it's his favorite anime OR manga. I can tell from the care and
detail he puts into each scene and character. If he hated SM, he
wouldn't put as much effort into as he does. He doesn't hate Sailor
Moon, he just likes his Sailor Moon dark. That's all.
P.S. Chris Davis, if you send me a flame concerning my defense of
Mark, it will go public. You have been warned.
----o
Hmm....
Those poor Sailors! Still, a crueler fate would've been to sentence
them to live on forever in an American-dubbed version!
----o
Well, since this is considered spam, I won't comment anymore, but
I'd love to be cooked and eaten. Very personal death. But then, I'm
a sicko.
----o
Some people try and read WAY too much into stories sometimes. We
would classify your fic as a "popcorn" fic. The kind where you put
your brain into neutral and read cuz you like the author for
instance. Its not like SIU where you have to really pay attention
in order to catch the subtle stuff that's going on.
Its sort of like your "Barking Snout" ones but with a lot more plot.
You write down ideas into stories. Lot of people do that but not
many let others read them. People are just seeing a different style
to your writing. They don't like it, tough! :)
ttyl
A&L
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_________
/ @ \ DDFA (The Right Dishonourable Mark A Page)
/ / ^ ^ \ \ ayanami@merlin.net.au
/ w \>\ Chief Propaganda Officer, Keeper of
\/ \/ the Tapes and Co-Founder of the Saitou-chan
\___________/ Appreciation Society - Adelaide Japanese
/_/ \_\ PU Animation Society