As we all watch our country become the real shithole, just know that most of us don’t think the way the monster thinks and we have to lean into those numbers when necessary.

So, I lost. I didn’t plan on winning. I had no expectations. The Critic’s Choice Awards was only the second award show I have ever been to. It was the first I was actually nominated for something. I presented at the Independent Spirits Awards a few years back but that’s it. I got into my fancy suit and Sarah the Painter got into her dress and we took a car provided by Netflix to an airport hangar in Santa Monica. I walked the line, got the photos, talked to the microphone people, said hi to some fans and critics, and then we went in and sat at our table in front of a plate of cold, sad food. There seemed to be about 2,000 or so people or there. Lot of tables.

As some of you know, I like looking at movie stars. At the table to my right and a little behind me I saw Gary Oldman just sitting there. Directly in front of me, on either side of the head of Netflix were Angelina Jolie and Adam Sandler. Most of the night I just kept looking over my shoulder at Gary Oldman, which was satisfying. I saw Tracy Letts in the distance. That was exciting. I saw people I’ve interviewed but I didn’t say hi to anyone. Willem Dafoe walked by me, kind of said hi, gave me a weird look. I don’t know what I expected. I don’t know if it was because he didn’t remember or maybe our talk was not a good memory. Granted, it wasn’t easy.

When they announced my category I knew I didn’t deserve it. Walton Goggins did. Love that guy. That character he created for Vice Principals was weird and insanely funny. He won. He did give me a shout out on stage saying, ‘Who doesn’t love Marc Maron?’ That was a high point. That moment when they announced all our names was a real rush. Just blood and nerves surging. Good stuff. Then the loss. It was really fine. We all lost. Betty, Allison, the show. It’s okay.

I did make up with Sandler. I was probably the only one who thought we were in a fight but he was really nice to me. He said he would come on the podcast but I’m not counting on it. I think it would be good though.

Today I talk to the amazing Laurie Metcalf about Lady Bird, Steppenwolf, Horace and Pete, Roseanne, acting, etc. It was a great talk. Also, good old Tom Segura stops by for a short one. On Thursday I have a fun talk with Derek Waters from Drunk History. Love that guy.