Another insufferable prick goes on a trip and writes a self indulgent blog.
Formerly the unedited versions of the Glasgow Rocks slate columns, now a soapbox for generalisations, snap judgements and cultural ignorance as I travel through the Middle East, India, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia and Australia.

About Me

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

EURO-BASKETBALL FANS AND OTHER ANIMALS

In the last BBL playoff finals, Rocks fans were told by the announcer to sit down and stop being so loud as they were distracting other people in attendance. In other situations, people complained about a drum that is used to lead the chants of “DEFENCE”, possibly due to the terrifying concept of ‘atmosphere’.

I can imagine BBL officials shitting themselves lifeless at the prospect of the kind of crowd response highlighted in the video below, which is one of any moment at a Panathanikos game. Not, as you could be forgiven for thinking, a snippet from Hitlers inaugriation speech to Nazi Germany.

In fact, across in Europe you are completely free to sit nonchalantly with 20,000 of your buddies waving a stick of burning magnesium that is capable of searing your face off five times over, while kicking the face off a puppy. You can't buy passion like that.

Here’s a three of the best examples:

1.During Game 3 of the championship series between 7 years running champion Panathinaikos and Olympiacos the refereeing crew was so horrendous that the fans in attendance started to have serious issues over numerous blown calls. Perhaps a little uninterested at the prospect of pointlessly booing, the fans decided to get straight to the point and throw some M-80 firecrackers at the officials. Unfortunately the explosives landed directly under one of the team benches, which forced security to get decked out in full riot gear to attempt to regain some law and order. After nearly an hour break the game resumed until a few more incendiary devices were again launched towards officials. Eventually the game had to be called for safety, with Panathinaikos taking home their 8th straight Greek League Title and irreparably ruined underwear. (SKIP TO 2.50 for the incident)

2.

During an AEK Athens game (Yup, Greeks again) one fan held up play for several minutes as he felt the need to clamber on the basket in support of his squad. The atmosphere was already like an underground dog-fighting venue before the unnamed hero (with the kind of flesh on display that could encourage Greek birth rates to drop for a decade) took to the hoop. Nestled in between the backboard and shot-clock, the topless gent fist-pumped like a champ to the ecstatic chants of his fellow fans. The most awesome part is that police and security just waited for him to get bored and calmly walk back to his seat, instead of what would happen if it took place in the US: announcing it as an international incident and having him waterboarded.

3. The day I get to replace David Stern as NBA commisioner, all finals will be decided henceforthwith, serbian style:

Game one will be a casual affair, with regular rules. Good luck to both squads, may the best team win.

Game two will run normally until the fourth quarter, where a mass brawl will kick off and up to 18 players will be ejected. Larger players sending smaller players spiralling off in to distance with javelin-like throws is not only permitted, but widely encouraged. Due to the number of ejections, the game will finish with a laughable three on three full-court contest.

Game three called off as only one team will turn up. Championship awarded to winner of Games one and two.