Baka-Raptor and the Filler of Big

I’ve recently been doing a lot of spring cleaning around the site, part of which included drastically reducing the size of my drafts folder from 170 to 99. Many of the deletions are partially reproduced below. Since these are among the shittiest ideas in the history of my site, I felt the best time to release them would be on April Fools’ Day, when everyone would think they’re a joke.

Rejection: Too easy. The covers practically make fun of themselves. Any legal discussion on top of that would be boring and forced.

Title: 10 Things that Suck More than Mnemosyne

Concept: I’d list a bunch of things I love, thereby suggesting that Mnemosyne is the greatest thing ever. I’d also list a thing or two that really sucked, just to mix it up.

Rejection: Too gimmicky. I’d only listed four items before quitting (lesbians, dinosaurs, Mrs. Winner’s Chicken and Waffles Combo, and Eli Manning). Not that I’m against gimmicky posts, but I usually save them for shows I haven’t commented on elsewhere. I’d already done a short Mnemosyne post. No need for two.

Title: To-Love-Ru vs. Kanokon: An Objective Analysis

Concept: Comparing two simultaneously airing crappy fanservice anime.

Rejection: Ultimately covered both in as much depth as each deserved in Talk-A-Raptor 03. Nothing more to say about them. Also wary of overusing the Objective Analysis format.

Title: Does Plot Matter?

Concept: Yes it does.

Rejection: I have other drafts on the same topic.

Title: Evangelion 07

Concepts: Episodic post of Evangelion 07.

Rejection: Got bored blogging Evangelion episodes. Didn’t like the series as much as expected.

Title: My Top Five

Concept: A list of my five favorite anime. A trendy topic among bloggers at the time.

Rejection: Didn’t expect this to go anywhere. I was right, but it was worth a quick draft to make sure. Ended up writing a post criticizing other lists.

Concept: Room posts were trendy among bloggers at the time, and I was really impressed by Ryougi Shiki’s minimalist apartment. Figured an interesting twist on the room post would be to compare my room to a room in anime.

Rejection: Decided to write the post about my apartment straight-up. Figured I’d eventually comment on Shiki’s room whenever I got around to reviewing Garden of Sinners.

Title: Kouta vs. Kota: An Objective Analysis

Concept: Kouta is the male lead of Kanokon. Kota is a toy triceratops.

Rejection: Easy win for Kota, lost interest in writing about Kanokon

Title: Golgo 13

Concept: Probably a review of Golgo 13.

Rejection: The draft was completely blank. Don’t remember if this was intentional.

Title: Breaking News: A Plothole in Bleach Filler!

Concept: Here’s what I’d already written:

I don’t want to sound like a showoff, but I just found the greatest plot hole of all time. Pay close attention to these two lines in the Shinigami Cup segment of the latest Bleach Filler episode:

Renji, don’t play dumb.

Do you see me wearing an “I like Kure-nai” shirt? No, because I’m not a pedophile. Same principle here. Renji, you’re wearing a Red Pineapple shirt. That means you’re a Red Pineapple. And you like it.

Concept: Response to criticism that Ga-Rei Zero is “good but not deep”

Rejection: I don’t really care

Title: The Men of Umineko vs. the Women of Umineko

Concept: Response to criticism that the women of Umineko are poorly portrayed, even though the women rule and the men are incompetent douchebags

Rejection: Author recanted

Title: I will not watch Sora no Woto

Concept: Argument that ignoring Sora no Woto because it ripped of the K-ON character designs is perfectly fair. If the show uses a gimmick attract some viewers, nobody can complain if it turns off other viewers.

Rejection: Don’t need a whole post to make that point.

Title: Every Character on Revolutionary Girl Utena needs a Beating

Concept: It’s true

Rejection: Decided I’d rather write a more substantive review of the show

Title: Nogizaka Haruka II is exactly like Nogizaka Haruka I

Concept: A lot of people complained that the second season was nothing like the first one. Except it was, in every way.

Rejection: Not worth an entire post.

Title: Quitting Near the End

Concept: Short commentary on anime I watched more than halfway before dropping

31 draft posts didn't make the cut

Couldn’t we just agree that Umineko was a shit show, period? Its tendency to have really flat characterizations for some of the characters, then fully-realized ones, followed by more flat characterization was obnoxious. Also, Maria, the worst loli ever. Dropped that shit after watching episode twenty-four.

This is a pretty decent post. For a filler that is. I do want to see the One Outs vs One Piece and the sit away from the TV one. I still see that message appear once in a while. It would do everyone good to see it made fun of for the hundredth time.

I’ve given up on writing April Fools posts with the intention to fool. Everyone sees it coming. Going for something nobody sees coming fits in with the April Fools spirit and has a much lower chance of falling flat.

You should just adapt my way of posting, which is to post whatever the fuck you want without proofreading or caring about whether or not it even makes any damn sense or about whether or not you’re contradicting yourself in the post.

I only have about 20 drafts, and my ISSS has is the best ISSS in existence!!

While individual reviews of these would be great, I hope you do write something that recommends some good Slice of Life shows (I’m always on the look out for these). Also, looking forward to your Utena review, at some point.