The BibliOscars go to ...

December 17, 2012|By John Warner

(David Muir, Getty Images)

This is not a "best books of the year" list. If I have communicated anything in this space over the last six or so months, it's that there is no such thing as an objective "best" book or books. Instead, books must be matched to readers' specific needs.

While "best of" lists can be fun in a fleeting, "what are they thinking?" or "I couldn't agree more!" sense, I want to instead encourage everyone to develop their own personal book awards as a way to reflect on their year in reading.

Toward this purpose, I'm pleased to announce the first annual Biblioracle Book Awards, as judged by me, myself and I.

I'm going to name the awards after my dog, Oscar, because he's almost always around while I'm reading.

That shouldn't cause me any trouble, should it?

The envelopes please …

Book that Was a Minor Disappointment Only Because My Expectations Were So High: "Canada" by Richard Ford. This was one of my top five favorites of the year, but because Ford has written two masterpieces ("The Sportswriter" and "Independence Day") he's set the bar impossibly high. Runner-up: "In One Person," by John Irving.

Book that I Liked a Lot More Than I Thought I Would: "How Should a Person Be?" by Sheila Heti. This received numerous comparisons to the HBO program "Girls," a show which I do not understand. In the end, though, I found this book funny and charming, and read it in a couple of big gulps.

Book I Was Sure I Would Like, But Liked Even More Than I Thought I Would: Jess Walter's "Beautiful Ruins." "Beautiful Ruins" hits both the funny bone and whatever bone makes you experience deep and satisfying emotion. Runners-up: "Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk" by Ben Fountain and "May We Be Forgiven" by A.M. Homes.

Most Laughs Per Page: This was a tough category because I'm frequently drawn toward comic fiction. In the end, I have to give the nod to Maria Semple's "Where'd You Go Bernadette?" Runners-up: "May We Be Forgiven" by A.M. Homes and "You're Not Doing It Right: Tales of Marriage, Sex, Death, and Other Humiliations" by Michael Ian Black.

Best Book I Didn't Read: "The Song of Achilles" by Madeline Miller. I haven't read this. But so many people have asked me if I have that it makes me think I should.

Non-Fiction Book I Was Most Likely to Wedge into Conversation: "The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids" by Madeline Levine. This was actually published in 2008, but if anything, it's even more relevant today.

Best Re-Read: "Edwin Mullhouse: The Life and Death of an American Writer 1943-1954 by Steven Millhauser.

Best Book I'm Least Likely to Recommend: "May We Be Forgiven" by A.M. Homes. One of my top reads of the year, but its tone is not for everyone.

Book that Kept Me Up at Night Because it Scared Me: "You Came Back" by Christopher Coake. How would you feel if your dead child possibly returned to your old house as a ghost? Runner-up: "Familiar" by J. Robert Lennon

Book that Made Me Cry: "Every Love Story Is a Ghost Story: A Life of David Foster Wallace" by D.T. Max. Wallace is one of my favorite writers and to learn the depths of his emotional pain toward the end of his life made for powerful, almost overwhelming reading.

Book by a Respected Author that Was Critically Praised, But I Thought Was Kind of Lousy: Not telling. Runner up: Not telling that either.

Biblioracle John Warner is the author of "Funny Man." Follow him on Twitter @Biblioracle.