8-year-old pens summer camp script for the next “Sharknado”

Apparently the influence of SyFy’s latest hybrid film, Sharknado, extends beyond Twitter. Redditor Xineph, who has been teaching a summer camp screenwriting class, posted part of a script an 8-year-old camper handed in.

The opening scene, which introduces a protagonist named Ani, proves this kid already has a grasp on surrealism: “Ani climbs out of the water in the shape of a chewed-up apple.” Move over, Lars Von Trier.

The young auteur then goes on to reveal an antagonist: a squid-shark-alligator hybrid. A squarkigator. And this horrific, hungry beast has sarcasm down. Read the script for yourself, then somebody get this kid in touch with Asylum, quick. They’ve already started making Sharknado 2.