Lenny Dykstra is Doing Weird Things in L.A. County Jail

Prepare to jump-start the part of your brain that forgets deadbeat has-beens: Lenny Dykstra is in the news and he’s doing some weird stuff. The former Phillies player in currently residing in L.A. County Jail for assault with a deadly weapon and lewd conduct, and TMZ has gotten word that he’s keeping Michael Jackson’s former doctor, Conrad Murray, entertained with some X-rated antics.

In lieu of sacrificing the microscopic shred of journalistic integrity we may or may not have, we’ll allow TMZ to give you the details:

“We’re told Dykstra sometimes puts a sheet over his head — for fun — pokes a hole around the waste area and sticks his “baseball bat” through the hole … for the amusement of anyone who dares to look.”

In all honesty, this is starting to get a little sad. Not too long ago, Dykstra was praised in a bunch of op-eds and TV news segments for his supposed financial acumen. Jim Cramer of Mad Money even gave credence to his stock pics. Now, somewhere, far off in the lower fourth dimension, Darren Daulton is naked, riding a giant lizard and laughing.

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