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Thursday, January 03, 2008

Another year end has ended and has anything changed? I guess not, at least personally. I am the same old lazy self lurching forward from day to day with no inherent motivation and no goal in sight. It's been always like that for me. I have been very fluid, gliding along, not making any hard decisions and opting for what comes my way rather than setting my eyes on a goal and working towards it. It's been a smooth ride so far but I am not sure anymore if this is the ideal way to go about things. How will I react when the going gets tough? I don't know and that thought scares me. How can I be adequately prepared for any surprises?

Its slowly come to a stage where I am no longer as excited about staying overseas as I was before. When I started off, the initial excitement and the new found independence made me tide over any home sickness that I may have felt, not that I wasthe kind of person to get homesick that easily. Now, 8 years on, there isn't any of that excitement left. It's become a very routine, mundane existence. Work is interesting but beyond that, there isn't much to look forward to. I have started looking forward to visiting my folks back home in India at every possible opportunity. I love the time I spend with them, with my close relatives and even things like eating out in your favourite restaurant looks so much more fulfilling than doing the same here. The fact that I am constantly surrounded by people back home makes all the difference. Hopefully, I will make up my mind soon and settle down in India at the earliest.

I never make any resolutions for the new year as I never keep up with anything. I am that lazy. For a change, this year, I have decided that I will make every possible move to go back to India at the very earliest. That would mean, securing myself financially for the near future, exploring job opportunities back home and winding up things in UK. Also, I am trying to make small goals for each day that I would like to accomplish by the end of the day. Hopefully, all the small goals will result in me achieving something bigger and more fulfilling.