The CW aired these two episodes back to back. They will do the same with the final two episodes next week. The CW is burning through the remaining season so they can make roon for their fall schedule, a.k.a. the shows they care about that aren’t filler for summer reruns.

Kaldrick confessed to Abby that he beat up Tariq, He wants her help to find the little lad.Beth & Simon are doing reasonably OK for once. Simon has a job on an educational TV show and Beth is dating one of their neighbors. Their dad wants them to come live with him in Alaska, but other times we are told he lives in Canada. The writers of The L.A. Complex are far right Canadian ultra-nationalists who claim Alaska as sovereign Canuck territory. They consider the true founding of Canada to be the Viking colony of Vinland in 1000 AD, and have maps that show Alaska, Greenland, Seattle, the Upper Midwest and Maine as provinces of Greater Kanadia. They are like our version of “54-40 or fight” but for cold places.Connor reunited with his long lost sister Charlotte. She is a member of this show’s version of Scientology and wants Connor to join.Nick was fired from The Paul F. Tompkins Show. He and Sabrina are a couple…a couple of knuckleheads THAT’S WHAT!Raquel declared bankruptcy to get out of the money she owes for ditching acting jobs. The only job she could get is a bartender. She is going to make a low budget movie with her two neighbors that they will film in the apartment complex.

“Make it Right”

Abby & Kaldrick

This ep again picks up right where the previous ended. Abby runs out of the studio. Kaldrick wants her to help him find Tariq, but Abby feels that she has to find him first, because Kaldrick has a nasty habit of beating the shit out of Tariq. Abby gets Tariq’s new Montreal address from the apartment manger. Kaldrick somewhat convinces Abby that he means no harm, also he has a private jet to take them to Montreal. Abby couldn’t afford a plane ticket, so her only option to get to Montreal would be to hitchhike, and how far into Arizona do you think she’d get before she’d be coerced into becoming a drug mule?

Montreal adventure! You know they are in Montreal because the city has a lame version of the Hollywood sign.

Abby goes to Tariq’s apartment first. Only if Tariq agrees, will she let Kaldrick see him. In that long nine episode absence, Tariq has grown into a man, sort of, kind of. He is living with his boyfriend, Michele and has a good job at the French Canadian version of Bravo. Kaldrick is allowed to see him. Kaldrick is very apologetic and looks like a little sad puppy dog, but Tariq says they will never be butt buddies again.

Beth & Simon

At her boyfriend’s instance, Beth takes the SATs so she can apply to college. She didn’t have time to study or anything, her boyfriend just surprised her by taking her to a high school when they were having SAT test day. I suppose adults can take it if they register? But Beth never did because this is a surprise and also wouldn’t have any proper ID as an illegal immigrant. Whatever, I don’t want to spend anymore of my time dwelling on this.

Afterward, her boyfriend takes her on a date, a romantic dinner in the center of a hockey rink. He thought she would cum in her panties over this, being Canadian. But Beth says she does not skate and it is only a stereotype that every Canadian can. The L.A. Complex is going to educate us on Canadian stereotypes. Americans are used to it because we’ve had to sit through lectures from every ethnic or religious group explaining how we are ignorant bad people for not knowing and appreciating every fucking fact about every fucking part of the world. If people from outside the US wonder why we are so quick to bomb other countries, it’s because it’s the only way to get them to shut up. Here, we’ll give you something real to complain about. BOOM!

Meanwhile, Simon and the other roommate guy spent the day trying to create bubbles for their indie film. When Beth and her date get home they find the room filled with bubbles, which is very romantic and better than that fucking bad that is playing outside again.

Beth and Simon’s long lost dad appears! GOLLY JEEZUS!!!

Connor

Charlotte says that the Church of Scienetics has worked for her and can work for him. “We come from the same place [Australia],” says Charlotte. “We have the same hurt [kangaroo boxing].”

Charlotte takes him to the Scienetics Hollywood Castle where the organization is eager to have Connor onboard, much like the real world organization this is based on—and The L.A. Complex is not going to name for legal reasons—is with celebrities. Connor actually expressed interest in the organization in a previous episode. Who knew the writers were setting the ground for something to happen later? That’s more than I would expect from those clowns.

Connor takes a stress test and a woman tells him he scored “exceptionally high” on intelligence. All of the questions were variation of “Do you feel stressed?” so it’s obviously a ploy to butter up Connor. But since Australians are not used to being called intelligent, it works. Connor is informed it will cost $5000 to $10,000 to get started with their program. Wow, that’s a lot of money to join a religion! The Lutherans will take you for free and throw in plenty of potluck dinners.

To sway him, the woman brings up his childhood and asks why Connor’s mom ran away with two of her children but left him behind. In Australia, it’s only legal to run away with two-thirds of your children. Most runaway mothers interpret the law incorrectly, and leave their children’s bloody legs behind. Connor cries that it must have been because he wasn’t worth taking! This is the point in a cartoon when the woman would have dollar signs in her eyes that make a cash register cha-ching.

Connor joins Scienetics. This coming storyline is going to be all fine and mediocre, I’m sure. I would just like to remind the writers that South Park did a take on Scientology several years ago and did it better. Then again, South Park also does Canada better.

Nick and Sabrina walk along the beach. Nick is wearing a coonskin cap because it makes him feel closer to Canada. They run into Sabrina’s parents who want them to come along for a round golf. Sabrina advises Nick, “Try not to speak at all.” See, Sabrina has been hiding her stand-up career from them. Her parents think she is a pre-med student at UCLA.

Being socially inept, Nick thinks that Sabrina’s one lie allows him to tell a whole bunch of lies to her parents. First, he says he is a funny comedian. Second, he says he also pilots a blimp part time “The Hindenburg really hurt us,” quips Nick, “but we’re coming back in a major way.” Sabrina takes him aside to yell at him to stop it or else her lie will be found out. But she was only a few feet away from her folks and also really loud, so they should easily have overheard. People in TV shows have really poor hearing.

Nick’s only experience golfing is of the put-put style, so he does poorly. However, Sabrina’s dad is fine with Nick not really being blimp pilot and is fine with him being a comedian, because he is pursing his dreams. Nick tells Sabrina to come clean with her parents, because they are cool with dreams.

Later at dinner, Sabrina admits she dropped out of school…two years ago. “Sorry,” she says, pronouncing it exactly like a Canadian. For a show that takes place in the US that isn’t the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, too many people have Canadian accents. Let’s say that Sabrina’s family are Canadian expats who came south when Harper was elected, forgetting that Canada with a Conservative prime minister is still more liberal than America with a Democratic president. Her mom and dad are so angry they cut off her financial support. Man, she’s even worse off than Nick now.

Raquel is filming the movie with her neighbors, who she calls “Bert and Ernie” even though they are doing her a big favor. Raquel is an asshole. The neighbors need money to buy a better video camera, so Raquel goes to request a loan, but the man behind the desk says she can’t because she filed for bankruptcy yesterday and still has to go through the process in court. Raquel didn’t realize there was more to declaring bankruptcy than signing a piece of paper. It’s like in The Office when Michael thought all he needed to do was shout, “I declare: BANKRUPTCY!” except The L.A. Complex isn’t as—scratch that—actually, right now The L.A. Complex and The Office are about even in terms of quality.

Raquel asks for extra shifts from her boss, but he says he has none. One of the kitchen staff, his name is Manny, offers her a way to “make a lot of money really fast.” It’s not prostitution. He knows Raquel would just insult the physical appearance of each of her johns, and not enough men are into that to make it a viable career. Manny has an RFID scanner that can capture the information from a credit card. He offers Raquel $25 per card she swipes at the bar.

Raquel is initially against this, but then does it to a man who was rude to her because Raquel was being lazy and also rude to him. I hope Raquel gets arrested and then shanked in jail. She has no redeeming qualities and I have had zero sympathy for any trouble she has gotten into or will in the future. She brings everything on herself.