wheek – a loud noise, the name of which is onomatopoeic, also known as a whistle. an expression of general excitement, it may occur in response to the presence of its owner or to feeding. it is sometimes used to find other guinea pigs if they are running. if a guinea pig is lost, it may wheek for assistance.

bubbling or purring – this sound is made when the guinea pig is enjoying itself, such as when being petted or held. they may also make this sound when grooming, crawling around to investigate a new place, or when given food.

rumbling – this sound is normally related to dominance within a group, though it can also come as a response being scared or angry. in these cases the rumble often sounds higher and the body vibrates shortly. while courting, a male usually purrs deeply, swaying and circling the female in a behavior called "rumblestrutting". a low rumble while walking away reluctantly shows passive resistance.

chutting and whining – these are sounds made in pursuit situations, by the pursuer and pursuee, respectively.

chattering – this sound is made by rapidly gnashing the teeth, and is generally a sign of warning. guinea pigs tend to raise their heads when making this sound.

chirping – this less-common sound, likened to bird song, seems to be related to stress, or when a baby guinea pig wants to be fed. very rarely, the chirping will last for several minutes.

squealing or shrieking – A high-pitched sound of discontent, in response to pain or danger, or when dropped into the deep fryer.

while guinea pigs have much longer colons than most rodents, they must also supplement their diet by coprophagy, the eating of their own feces. However, they do not consume all their feces indiscriminately, but produce special soft pellets, called cecotropes, which recycle B vitamins, fiber, and bacteria required for proper digestion. The cecotropes (or caecal pellets) are eaten directly from the anus, unless the guinea pig is pregnant or obese. They share this behaviour with rabbits. In geriatric boars or sows (the condition is rarer in young ones), the muscles which allow the softer pellets to be expelled from the anus for consumption can become weak. This creates a condition known as anal impaction, which prevents the boar from redigesting cecotropes, though harder pellets may pass through the impacted mass. The condition may be temporarily alleviated by carefully expelling the impacted feces.

Hope that's not you holding your guinea pig. I mean, the nails would be OK if that's your thing, but the poor guinea pig doesn't look enthusiastic about it all.

I had a dream about a tiny hippo the other night. It was wearing a telephone costume with a Bob Marley pin and watching a parade. I asked its owner about it, and she explained it was easier to take care of than the langur monkeys everyone else on her street has, and quite a good watch ... uh, watch hippo? I cannot explain it.

I actually found out that it isn't a shaved guinea pig. It's a breed of guinea pig, called a skinny pig! Here's another:

Arose, those certainly aren't my hands in the pic. While the guinea pig is mostly hairless, my hands are not, and it's been a few years since I last had a manicure (was passed out and woke up wearing a bra w/ full makeup and “I love penis” painted across my nails, a letter on each nail). Anyway, as for your dream, a hippo in a telephone costume w/ a Bob Marley pin, watching a parade!? Haha that is excellent.