How on earth will we talk about this?

As I was adding the final touches for this post, these two were listening and watching, “We Are The World” on YouTube, circa 1985. How fitting…

Yiddish Proverb:

What will become of the sheep if the wolf is the judge? Vos vet vern fun di sheps aoyb di volf iz di rikhter?

My kinder (children), they truly feel the anxiety in our home. They soak it in as they happily leap from the yellow school bus and cross the entryway into our home. They see it when I return from work each night. I am literally wearing the news on my punim (face) – and it is not a good look.

Big and Little, they know about deadly gun violence because they see me put on my orange cloak of activism and fight for gun sense laws (no guns makes the most sense to me) with Moms Demand Action. They hear my spiel (talk, like “please, don’t hang up… on… me!) pleading with complete strangers about conceal carry reciprocity and bump stocks, week after week.

But now, tragedy, it strikes daily. How can their naive and tender, trusting souls take in all of the madness when I have trouble simply not crying at the office or pumping the car with gas? Smart people who study such things, scholars, they say we need to tell our kinder in real-time, as the bad things occur. They say that when they hear hard/tragic news from us, the people they love and trust most, they can best take in the inconceivable and somehow still feel safe.

Feeling safe. Aside from my day job, isn’t that what I am here to do? How can I promise protection for my maideleh’s (sweet girls) in a world that can kill you while learning, praying, playing, watching a movie, doing yoga? I have read that we only tell them what is absolutely true. Live in the moment. “You, my sweet bubbelah’s (babies), are safe here, now.” No promises that you cannot absolutely keep. Truth.

Yiddish Proverb:

Who owes her the hole in the bagel? Ver ouz ir di lokh in di bagel?

My father, he used to explain things to me and then say, “Capiche? (Understand?) I did (well mostly), but he wasn’t hurling around huge concepts like anti-Semitism, racism, nationalism, white-supremacy. At eight and ten, hatred, violence, and grief are ‘tough to swallow’ dinner table topics. Allow them time to think, ask questions. As many questions as they need to ask. Always answer with honesty and reassure them of the many people around them, in addition to us, who are also safe havens for them.

This past weekend, we even developed a ‘code word’ for our family after reading the news story about a little girl in Arizona who thwarted her would be captor in a potential kidnapping with, “What’s the code word? If you are picking me up, what’s the code word?” Be prepared.

And this, all of this is what I call ashondah (a shame, pity).

Tomorrow, Thanksgiving, people all over America will be getting together to celebrate, sup, break bread and nosh together. Many families have been as divided as those gonefs (thieves, dishonest people)on the hill in DC. Many topics are now more taboo than ever before. Politics and sports are out. Perhaps sex is a safe, go-to conversation? Wishing you all, a safe, loving and enjoyable time. And, may we all find a way to unite. Capiche?

Agree Lisa, such a sorry state of affairs. Having to talk to our little innocent children about ‘bad’ strangers who could possibly take them away or hurt them; of guns and violence and worldly terror. It is not ok. They need to be trusting the world and learning about all the good that there is. But we have to be realistic. A difficult world to be growing up in for sure… Thanks for joining us on the #itsok linky again. Hope to see you next week too!

I cannot understand why guns are still on the streets. We are bringing our kids up in such a scary world and I’m frightened I don’t have the answers or more to the point, that I don’t like the answers that we have to give to their questions. Thanks for sharing with #TriumphantTales. PS> Happy Thanksgiving!! 🙂

Such a sad and poignant post. My 18 year old son rants about such issues day in and day out and that gives me hope, We need such kind souls in the world and things can change as history has shown us. If ever things needed to change it is now #ABloggingGoodTime

Such a thought-provoking post. There’s such a fine line between wanting to hide your children away and protect them, and teaching them about the real world and what terrible things happen. Thanks for linking up #ItsOK

Happy Thanksgiving for yesterday lovely Lisa.
It’s such a scary world but there is also much light and happiness from the swishing of the trees to the sun on our backs. This is what I want for our children; seeing the beauty in the world. They do have to know that this comes with an opposite; a ying to the yang -not such nice people.
Much love. #thatfridaylinky

This is true. Very wise momma! I do know that and I try to keep a balance. We all have each other and that is the best. They are playing now and just hearing their hearty laughter is priceless! #thatfridaylinky 🍁😘❤️

I admire you Lisa for the brave attitude you take towards such worrying situations, situations that you have to potentially encounter every day. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have to live with such a worry. I often think living here in Ireland is incredibly quiet (sometimes too quiet) but I’m always thankful that I don’t have to worry about my children and the prospect of gun violence. Of course we have many other things to worry about and protect them from. All we can do for sure is live well, keep them safe and teach them. And hope for change #triumphant tales

I’m not really sure where I sit on this. I used to turn the news off when there were images of bombings and children suffering. Now I leave it on, but obviously I monitor it – pg and all that. Something to think about.
#itsok

Amazing post! I hope you and your family had a great Thanksgiving. It really is such a balance. You want your kids to be prepared and aware of the dangers of the world, but you don’t want to take away their joy and innocence. #KCACOLS

I think we all need to come back to the middle and start talking again. Not yelling, not drowning the other side out in conversation – but real talking. I’ve seen friends of decades stop speaking because the other side ‘is totally crazy.’ But it’s crazy to stop talking through problems as we’ll only see those problems become worse. #DreamTeam

I was told not to show my kids the news and to live in a bubble of happiness blissfully unaware of what atrocities go on in this world.I spent Thanksgiving at the funeral of my grandmother. We don’t really celebrate Thanksgiving in the UK but we gave thanks for having experienced her in our lives. #thesatsesh

My sympathies to you and your family over the loss of your grandmother. We are slowly experiencing the demise of PopPop, and that adds to the stress. We are being honest, despite the fact that I would love to surround the in a bubble of freedom and idealism. 😘💕 #thesatsesh

Hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving. I totally agree that it is so difficult to speak to little ones about the awful things that are happening in the world. I just want to shelter and protect my boys forever from this hatred, it makes me so sad. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time.

You are a wonderful role model to your daughters and to so many others, it is terrifying what is going on in our world, it is easy to get swept up in anxiety. I send you love and I will continue to share your posts and support you in anyway I can! Thanks so much for linking up with #ABloggingGoodTime

Oh my heart feels so heavy reading this post. I feel so desperately sad to be passing this messed-up world on to my little ones. I wish I could reassure them that they are safe and that these things are not happening… but it’s simply not true. Keep fighting #blogcrush

I was very moved by this post. I live in England but watch American politics closely. It gives me a heavy heart, but then I come across someone like you and my heart lifts again. When there are good and intelligent people in the world, there is always hope xx Maria

Lisa, great post and great reminder about the family code word idea! As much as I’d like to wrap the children in cotton wool (as they say in England) or, more likely, in bubble wrap, they need a certain amount of knowledge of all the badness. I just don’t want to expose them to *all* of it *every* day. Today we don’t have to wait until a newspaper comes out or until the evening news comes on, it is constant. I like to shield them from that.

I am so pleased that I get to read your blog regularly Lisa as you restore my faith in humanity on the other side of the pond (though it is pretty crazy times here too with bloody Brexit). You remind me that there are good people campaigning for the right things to happen in the world. I am so sorry that this is the world we live in at the moment and that American (and British to an extent too) politics is soooo messed up. Much love and I hope you had a good Thanksgiving. xx #thesatsesh

Keep being the fabulous and truthful person you are Lisa. Your girls are very fortunate to have you. I’m not going to get into a rant on the gun culture but I’m fully with you from over here in the UK. It breaks my heart that you have to worry about such things when you pack your girlies off to school each day😢 💋 #BlogCrush

There is a lot of evil, ignorance and misery out there, in different forms and from many different types of people. I tend to avoid the news and focus on our immediate little world at home, that’s all I have the strength for now, and it helps keep me (mostly) sane xx
Thanks so much for linking up with KCACOLS, hope you come back again next time!