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Topic: Special Snowflake Stories (Read 6050211 times)

It brings to mind the Christmas concerts my old secondary school choirs did (and do). (More than one choir - there's a junior choir, senior choir, junior and senior special choirs, chapel choir, etc. All in one school, with some students in more than one choir.) Now, I'm talking a staged performance in the local theatre venue, with maybe 500 students in the choir. Lots of trooping on and off, and up and down, the stepped seating (think almost amphitheatre style seating on a stage), for different choirs doing different songs, orchestras and other instrumental groups coming on and off for their performances, Head Girl making a speech, etc.In order to be in the concert, you had to attend the rehearsals. And I mean had to. And if you weren't at the dress rehearsal on the day of the concert, you simply couldn't be in the concert.

Some of the parents of the Year 7 (12-year-old) students, who had just moved up from primary school, couldn't understand why their child couldn't be in the concert if they couldn't be at the rehearsal that day. It had to be explained to them, that this wasn't like primary school, where you could just plonk them on stage in the school hall. This was effectively a military operation - everyone had to know what they were doing at any given time, or the whole thing would have looked a mess. With a minimum of 500 students in the choir, plus the orchestras and other musicians, plus stage crew, and everyone else who needed to be there, it was also a safety issue; nobody had time to baby-sit someone who didn't know what they were doing, where they were going, etc. There is a huge difference between -going to choir practice at school and learning the carols off by heart, and....

-also going to the dress rehearsal in the actual auditorium in town on the day of the concert-knowing all the carols off by heart -knowing where you stand in which line to come on and off stage -which entrance you're coming on from, and off by -which staircase to go up and down -knowing the order in which everything happens (eg which carols are 1st, 2nd, 3rd, then the special senior choir, then the orchestra, then the head girl makes a speech, then the entire choir sings carol x, then the flute ensemble perform, then the special juniors come down to the front of the stage for carol z, then the orchestra comes back again... etc etc etc.)-knowing when to use which prop in which carol (this is told, but not actually rehearsed in school)-teachers assisting the choir mistress, saying whether or not x carol could be heard from the very back of the (large) auditorium, and so would need to be sung louder/quieter- last-minute changes to routines, timings, props, actions, program scheduling, costume changes, etc etc. -also, the fact that seating was sorted out at the rehearsals. We were all practically squished into the pews; there simply wasn't room in the actual concert for anyone who hadn't been in the dress rehearsal.

All of this isn't just the sort of thing you could pick up on the night. So however unfair it seems to the parents, if the child hasn't been to the dress rehearsal (along with other rehearsals), they can't be in the concert.

And honestly...who cares? Are peoples lives that uninteresting that they're upset with how they think people think about them? I wish I had that few problems.

High school students everywhere would beg to differ. It's nice to look back now and know I have the self-confidence that I don't care about the kind of things my peers said and did then, but it's a rare high school student who can truly not be bothered even a little bit. The girl who wrote the article isn't that much older than high school, and I can completely understand assuming a dirty look is accompanied by judgemental thoughts - especially if you're often in situations where those judgemental thoughts are frequently expressed aloud.

But she went to a private school and a private university, were while people may have judge about money but it wasn't likely to be "oh look at daddies little rich girl" type judgements. If she cited more examples I might have felt more for her as it stands she seems snotty and snobbish. Coming to the conclusion that a cashier in a grocery store was rude because of your high end shopping bag since you must just be spending daddy money is bizarrely self important. It's really hard to tell the difference just by looking from a $600 wrinkled white T shirt and a $20 one. Unless she's always walking around with shopping bags why would anyone think she was rich?

Anyone else struck by the poor little rich girl's rant where she says "I ate McDonald's on the weekend"... going out to eat, even fast food, was WAY too expensive for our family. It took me a second to catch on that she was referring to eating at McDonald's to mean she was POOR.

Almost all the comments abut the little girl are positive: about her enthusiasm, cuteness, and show-stealingness.

Honestly, I feel sorry for all the other girls who were trying to stick to their routine. Especially that girl on the end, she was just about isolated out there and was really doing well, despite the disruption.

I have attended most of my niece's dance recitals and I have to say, this is perfectly normal.

There is always at least one kid (or more) with flair. There is always at least one kid who stands still and gapes at the audience, despite the best efforts of their class and the helpers to push them along. And there are all the kids in between, who sometimes get the routine and sometimes get distracted by their neighbour, the clapping, the lights, etc. You don't really see everyone dancing the exact same steps until the higher grades. Even then, there are still people who dance noticeably better than others.

The only thing the teachers ever suggested ( that I know of) was skipping the child ahead to a higher grade level or having private lessons at a higher level, because sometimes they were bored with the baby steps that their peers were doing.

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You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Almost all the comments abut the little girl are positive: about her enthusiasm, cuteness, and show-stealingness.

Honestly, I feel sorry for all the other girls who were trying to stick to their routine. Especially that girl on the end, she was just about isolated out there and was really doing well, despite the disruption.

I have attended most of my niece's dance recitals and I have to say, this is perfectly normal.

There is always at least one kid (or more) with flair. There is always at least one kid who stands still and gapes at the audience, despite the best efforts of their class and the helpers to push them along. And there are all the kids in between, who sometimes get the routine and sometimes get distracted by their neighbour, the clapping, the lights, etc. You don't really see everyone dancing the exact same steps until the higher grades. Even then, there are still people who dance noticeably better than others.

The only thing the teachers ever suggested ( that I know of) was skipping the child ahead to a higher grade level or having private lessons at a higher level, because sometimes they were bored with the baby steps that their peers were doing.

This. One or the other of my DDs have been doing ballet consistently for 14 years. That's 28 concerts. In the tiny tots dance there is always one child like this, or one child who just gets overwhelmed and cries. The response to this actually surprised me a bit because it was just same old, same old to me.

I agree the little girl is doing the steps just will extra flair. I suspect she is in her own kid logic way following the teacher's instructions to do the dance with pep or something. She also looks like in a kid logic way she is trying to pep up the others - who look overwelmed/scared.

I disagree with the they should have put her on the end idea. I think they should have put her front and center. I know at ON, Loren, Brett's recitals the confident, enthusiastic kid is often in the front and center. Their confidence tends to pep up the other kids. (Of course when they were Toddler to lower elementary that kid tended to be ON, Loren, Brett, and their first cousin those four have confidence to burn and energy to solve the world's power problems.)

I agree the little girl is doing the steps just will extra flair. I suspect she is in her own kid logic way following the teacher's instructions to do the dance with pep or something. She also looks like in a kid logic way she is trying to pep up the others - who look overwelmed/scared.

I disagree with the they should have put her on the end idea. I think they should have put her front and center. I know at ON, Loren, Brett's recitals the confident, enthusiastic kid is often in the front and center. Their confidence tends to pep up the other kids. (Of course when they were Toddler to lower elementary that kid tended to be ON, Loren, Brett, and their first cousin those four have confidence to burn and energy to solve the world's power problems.)

I agree with this very much.

They're toddlers. Whether they're having fun is the most important thing. If you put the most enthusiastic one front and center then she's not in anyone's way. She does seem to be doing the steps and not just goofing off. I have a hard time believing the parents of the other girls could be that upset by it, it's all very silly and charming. (Now whether they'd be upset about her getting the spolight is another issue but if you're that invested in your kid being prima donna at age 3 you've got bigger problems)

Most importantly, this is not going to make or break anyone's ballet career. It's just a kiddie dance class. If it were a class of seven year olds it would be different but expecting kids this age to have stage discipline is crazy. She's got stage presence at an early age-- and that's a credit to her if she continues in dance.

Almost all the comments abut the little girl are positive: about her enthusiasm, cuteness, and show-stealingness.

Honestly, I feel sorry for all the other girls who were trying to stick to their routine. Especially that girl on the end, she was just about isolated out there and was really doing well, despite the disruption.

I have attended most of my niece's dance recitals and I have to say, this is perfectly normal.

There is always at least one kid (or more) with flair. There is always at least one kid who stands still and gapes at the audience, despite the best efforts of their class and the helpers to push them along. And there are all the kids in between, who sometimes get the routine and sometimes get distracted by their neighbour, the clapping, the lights, etc. You don't really see everyone dancing the exact same steps until the higher grades. Even then, there are still people who dance noticeably better than others.

The only thing the teachers ever suggested ( that I know of) was skipping the child ahead to a higher grade level or having private lessons at a higher level, because sometimes they were bored with the baby steps that their peers were doing.

This. One or the other of my DDs have been doing ballet consistently for 14 years. That's 28 concerts. In the tiny tots dance there is always one child like this, or one child who just gets overwhelmed and cries. The response to this actually surprised me a bit because it was just same old, same old to me.

I agree. I have sat thru enough preschool performances and recitals to know that at young ages, anything can happen--and in most instances, the audience is entranced both by the performances and by the outliers who are trying but end up doing their own thing.

Ever been to a T-ball game for 5-year-olds? The kids run to the wrong base, fight their teammates for the ball when they are fielding, sit down in the baseline to play in the dirt, wander off the field and have to be reminded to stay where they are put, and more. It's all part of their learning process and development, as they learn both the rules of the game or activity and how to control their own impulses.

And now, years and years later, after countless innings of baseless in which I proudly watched my son play and play well, somehow those fumbling early games are my favorites.

Some of the parents of the Year 7 (12-year-old) students, who had just moved up from primary school, couldn't understand why their child couldn't be in the concert if they couldn't be at the rehearsal that day.

We had something similar in a community theather production. It was the first musical being put on by a new community theather organization, and a (high school aged) girl had been cast in our production of Fiddler on the Roof. But she was also in another theater production at the time, and since ours was not as high-level as the other production, she spent most of her time at the other production's rehearsals. Well, that should be an issue that she would work out between the directors - many times people would be in multiple productions because the performance dates didn't overlap. The only problem is that she auditioned for and got a small solo in "The Rumor". And since that is the hardest piece to pull off in the musical, they were doing extra rehearsals of it (a lot of community theater productions skip it because it's hard and it's not in the movie, so not recognizable if you drop it.)

So when she continued to only show up for the occasional rehearsal, they grabbed me and had me understudy the part. She was warned that if she missed rehearsals during the last week, she would lose the part. She came on Monday, then skipped Tuesday, then showed up briefly on Wednesday, then totally blew off the invited dress rehearsal on Thursday. I then sang "her" part, uncredited. She threw a fit when she showed up for opening night that she wasn't going to get to do it.

I know obviously the little girl didn't mean badly - it's hard to follow choreography at the age of 3. But I just feel, maybe if the dance teacher knew that particular girl had trouble following the routine, they could have placed her at the end? Then she wouldn't have confused the other little girl who was on the end, who really was trying her best to follow the others. True, the girl who didn't follow the routine was pretty cute, and was most likely enjoying herself. But I just spent the video feeling so sorry for the little girl on the end. I'm not saying the other girl should stop dancing (especially if she enjoys it), but maybe find a class/method/form of dance where she isn't distracting someone else, or almost bumping into them?

Yeah, she might have been having fun but the girl next to her was looking pretty distressed at times. Her fun should not involve upsetting her classmates.

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If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,Five things observe with care,To whom you speak,Of whom you speak,And how, and when, and where.Caroline Lake Ingalls

I know obviously the little girl didn't mean badly - it's hard to follow choreography at the age of 3. But I just feel, maybe if the dance teacher knew that particular girl had trouble following the routine, they could have placed her at the end? Then she wouldn't have confused the other little girl who was on the end, who really was trying her best to follow the others. True, the girl who didn't follow the routine was pretty cute, and was most likely enjoying herself. But I just spent the video feeling so sorry for the little girl on the end. I'm not saying the other girl should stop dancing (especially if she enjoys it), but maybe find a class/method/form of dance where she isn't distracting someone else, or almost bumping into them?

Yeah, she might have been having fun but the girl next to her was looking pretty distressed at times. Her fun should not involve upsetting her classmates.

She's three. Putting herself in other's shoes is a skill that would be extremely rudimentary at that stage.

The point of having 3 year olds do a recital is for them to be goofy and awkward and cute.

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My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

I know obviously the little girl didn't mean badly - it's hard to follow choreography at the age of 3. But I just feel, maybe if the dance teacher knew that particular girl had trouble following the routine, they could have placed her at the end? Then she wouldn't have confused the other little girl who was on the end, who really was trying her best to follow the others. True, the girl who didn't follow the routine was pretty cute, and was most likely enjoying herself. But I just spent the video feeling so sorry for the little girl on the end. I'm not saying the other girl should stop dancing (especially if she enjoys it), but maybe find a class/method/form of dance where she isn't distracting someone else, or almost bumping into them?

Yeah, she might have been having fun but the girl next to her was looking pretty distressed at times. Her fun should not involve upsetting her classmates.

Which girl? Because the two girls she was between were doing just fine following the choreography as best as they could. There is no way to know that any of the kids were upset with her for dancing that way up on stage.

Again, the kids are 3 and up on a stage probably for the first time in their lives.

The teacher I had for choir taught at both the middle and high schools. For us to get grade/credit for performances and concerts (middle school was 2 in a school year, high school we had 4 in a school year), we had to be there for the dress rehearsal and the concert itself. Exceptions were made only for extenuating circumstances. The teacher ensured we knew about it and enforced the rule. Everyone showed up for both dress rehearsal and performance as it was an easy A to get for being present & trying your best. The other class grades were for in class participation and learning to read music among other things.

I know obviously the little girl didn't mean badly - it's hard to follow choreography at the age of 3. But I just feel, maybe if the dance teacher knew that particular girl had trouble following the routine, they could have placed her at the end? Then she wouldn't have confused the other little girl who was on the end, who really was trying her best to follow the others. True, the girl who didn't follow the routine was pretty cute, and was most likely enjoying herself. But I just spent the video feeling so sorry for the little girl on the end. I'm not saying the other girl should stop dancing (especially if she enjoys it), but maybe find a class/method/form of dance where she isn't distracting someone else, or almost bumping into them?

Yeah, she might have been having fun but the girl next to her was looking pretty distressed at times. Her fun should not involve upsetting her classmates.

She's three. Putting herself in other's shoes is a skill that would be extremely rudimentary at that stage.

The point of having 3 year olds do a recital is for them to be goofy and awkward and cute.

I think that depends on the 3 yr old. In my DD's 3 yr old dance class she had 4 other students. One was the natural performer and star always trying to be the loudest and get the most attention, 2 were there having a good time, and then there was my DD and her best friend who were already focused on "getting it right". But my DD was also very shy so though she did fine in class, we, the teacher, and the other parents were convinced she was probably not going to even make it onto stage.

What actually happened is the "star girl" walked out on stage and sat down and cried, the 2 that were having a good time did ok. But my DD and her friend concentrated so hard on following the teacher and doing the performance perfectly we are not sure they even realized there was an audience in front of them. And if a girl had started waving her hands in front of my DD's face while she was trying to do a perfect job, I'm concerned my DD may have punched her. It would have been horribly distracting to her. I'm fine with kid's having a good time but getting into the other girls personal space wasn't fair to her.