Whenever I get involved in a relationship terrible things happen to person I’m with. It wasn’t always this way. I used to be able to meet some one and have a good time with them. We’d do things together, talk to each other, cook and eat food together- all the classic love things. For the past ten years or so, ever since returning from New Orleans where I visited a Voodoo priest and didn’t pay him, all of my romantic interests die during our first date.

How is it going today? Are you doing alright? I trust that you are and that this letter finds you in both good and fermented spirits.

Firstly, I’d like to thank you for enrolling in this correspondence course, “A Primer on Zen Boozism”. This course will include six lessons as well as supplemental visual learning aids which will lead you to not only a better understanding of Zen Boozism and Booze Wizardry, but of yourself as well. It is my sincere wish that you not only enjoy, but find these lessons useful as well.

Are you already doing “blogs”? If so, know that it is not to late to live the dream of one day rising above these urges and once again becoming a decent human being.

I know that being the sort of human being that can enjoy the company of other human beings in a social setting seems like a moon dream, a magical fantastical never going to happen so why not just keep blogging sort of wish. The sort of wish too big for a birthday cake to grant, far too big. That never stops you from trying, does it? Year after year, cake after cake, always failure.

I am a young mother of a younger child and I have a suspicion that he has started “vaping”. I have noticed a slight increase in cognitive function, a common side effect of Nicotine use, and he often smells like fruity breakfast cereal. Also, his room is full of weird looking tiny bottles and strange electric things.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried worrying, saying nothing and yelling at my husband until he goes “Aggggh!!” but it hasn’t been working like it usually does. How can I tell if my son is smoking vapes? This is tearing the family apart.