6/16/2013

I don't know where to start. There have been so many changes in my life in the past few months and weeks, life-changing events to say the least. It's ironic when I browse the diary part of this blog, specially this and that one, read older entries and realize the person who wrote them was a different me.

My love for Asia hasn't changed; my life circumstances have.

I wasn't able to graduate this year, I am now single and I gave up my apartment and about half of my bags/clothes as I prepared moving out and I am also having an ugly cold. Right now I am deeply hurt and grieving and full of fear but I know that soon I will be happier than ever before. There was a toxic environment around me that made me fall into a lethargy and being an ambitious person deep inside that lethargy made me despair and become depressed. I guess the very rare activity on this blog is a good example.
It's hard to write in a happiness-oriented blog when you feel like a failure most of the time. I've also been thinking of changing the direction of my blog but just didn't have the drive and consistency to do it. But let's leave the butthurtness for now, my issues are not something I can get over after one depressing post (it will take a long time i guess) and since I'm soon leaving to Korea I'm also pretty optimistic!

Though it wasn't planned as such, this 3-month stay in Korea will be the perfect medicine: I want to do everything I wasn't able to do or couldn't fully enjoy while being in a relationship.

❥I'll be picked up by a caring friend and I have lots of plans of meeting my other friends excessively - becoming more social is a big goal.

❥Let's go out, drink Soju and Beer, eat street food and have spontaneous Karaoke-session in the middle of the night.

❥I want to first eat super hot Ddukbokki and cry my heart out pretending it's the spice and then have Jjajangmyun to celebrate my single-ness.

❥Also, I need to get my hair done, though I'm not sure if I really want to cut it, maybe I'll just change my hairstyle a bit. I want to spend hours in bookshops, museums and other cultural interesting places and feed my intellectual side.

❥Spend less time online (specially in Korea), write an offline diary, carefully decorate it with stickers and photos. Take tons of photos of anything that is beautiful or interesting. Take more time to draw.

❥Exercising! I want to hike one of Seoul's mountains, go jogging in our beautiful campus (google Yonsei campus and you'll know what I mean) and relax and eating hard-boiled eggs at a jimjilbang (bath house)

❥Going back to being a young, unattached student - giving my best in Korean, hanging out with other Korean-learning classmates, going on trips together, helping each other out with homework.

❥And I want to work on self improvement but this time without the weight I have been carrying around - it's hard to write gratitude lists when a close person's choices are piercing your heart on a regular basis.

These are just some of the things I want to do while in Korea but I'll keep you updated!