Friday, February 27, 2009

OK. Plugs first. Tomorrow is all-day zazen at Hill Street Center. The schedule is two posts below this one and the info about how to get there is linked to your left. Also, I'll be speaking and leading meditation (zazen) at the Dharma Punx place in Santa Monica on Monday March 2nd at 7:30 PM. That's at 1001 Colorado Ave. Santa Monica, CA 90401. I'll also be at their place in Hollywood on Sunday March 15, 2009 at 11 AM. That's at 4300 Melrose (between Heliotrope and Vermont) Los Angeles, CA 90029. I hear they get like 70 people at these things. That's way too many. So please don't show up!

And those of you not in NE Ohio can now read the Scene magazine article by clicking the two images I've posted today (you'll see them full sized). I love the cover and the way they refer to me as Zero Defex bassist Brad Warner. That's how it should be!

On to the reason for this post. In spite of my clear instructions that people I like should stop dying, I just got word yesterday that Philip Jose Farmer passed away on Wed. February 25th.

I was (and am) a big fan of Farmer's books. His novels often combined sex, religion and science fiction and were a big influence on my own writing style. He's best known for his Riverworld series, which I liked, but which went downhill steadily from the first book. My favorites were his one-off novels, particularly Jesus On Mars, about an entity that calls itself the reincarnation of Christ appearing to future colonists on Mars, The Unreasoning Mask, about an Islamic starship captain in search of an object that is said to have survived the "Big Crunch" that ended the universe that existed before the one we live in was formed, and Dark Is The Sun, about a far future Earth much different from the world we know. And, of course, his incredible Kurt Vonnegut parody Venus on the Half Shell, originally credited to Vonnegut's fictional sci-fi author Kilgore Trout.

I read a lot of science fiction in my teens and twenties. I don't read much of it now. Sometimes people into Buddhism get the idea that they shouldn't read fiction because fiction isn't true. But I disagree there. I think a lot of so-called non-fiction is less true than lots of fiction. I found Philip Jose Farmer to be an interesting and truthful writer. He was certainly no Dogen! But then who is? If you want Buddhism, read Dogen or Nishijima or Suzuki or Katagiri. If you want good science fiction, Farmer was one of the best. I'll miss his voice.

Finally, I wanted to say something about attachment. I think I may have overstated the case when I said that Buddhism doesn't much value the idea of non-attachment. It does. But there is a problem when you get too attached to words like "non-attachment." What I'm seeing in America is that a lot of folks seem to view the idea of non-attachment as being the same as what we call detachment. They take the view that a good Buddhist should be almost like what they used to call a sociopath. They believe Buddhism asks us to cultivate an attitude of callous indifference and a kind of narcissistic aloofness. Very few people actually do this, of course. But the idea that Buddhism advocates this kind of attitude turns a lot of sensitive people away, and that's a shame.

The e-mail that inspired the initial piece I wrote on the subject was from a guy who wondered if his love for his wife and kid constituted an attachment that he should try to overcome. But Buddhism isn't about not loving your wife and children! The non-attachment we're talking about is a different matter entirely. It's a realistic and balanced understanding that on one hand we are, in fact, very attached to everything. We, ourselves, are not independent at all. We are an expression of the universe. We can't possibly detach ourselves from that which we encounter. At the same time it's the understanding that all we are attached to will one day disappear (like Philip Jose Farmer did the other day). And it's an understanding that our specific attachments and preferences hinder our appreciation of the true nature of our existence.

I wonder if Wayne Coyne ever read Jesus on Mars? From the description of it I read, it seems quite different from Christmas on Mars, but who knows.

NellaLou--did your mom really read it and say those things, or are you using that as a literary device? Either way, great review.

Contemporary psychological theory makes a compelling case that our attachments to others are an essential part of our sense of self and reality and are a major factor in how we construct our experience of reality. I think the confusion about attachment in Buddhism may come from the fact that Buddhism invites us to examine and see through the way we structure reality. It seems people think this means we need to stop structuring reality, or to try to destroy the way we structure reality, not realizing that to do so would produce not enlightenment, but psychosis.

We can't transcend or escape the particulars of the lives we find ourselves living in any otherworldly way, though sometimes we may long to--the freedom of the Buddhist path is not the freedom of suddenly becoming body-less and free of identity, like the Star Child in 2001 (though I think the Star Child is pretty awesome and think I'm not alone among spiritual types in having dreamed of such a transformation myself), but rather seeing what we are for what it is. We see that our identity and sense of self is constructed, shifting, fluid. We see that all phenomena in the world are impermanent.

In this knowledge and insight is freedom--we don't have to get caught up in futile efforts to control the world around us or to try to craft 'me' into an image of worldly perfection. We can enjoy the play of life, and we can appreciate that through the use of our imaginations we can make something interesting out of our lives, take hold of impermanence and run with it instead of fighting it. That's how I understand practicing non-attachment--not trying to force myself to give up what I love or enjoy, but to maintain an awareness that it's all a mirage, a game, and that there's no need to hold on so forcefully when it is time to let go.

Jinzang. Good idea. Why not? In India there are all kinds of comics and cartoons about the Hindu epics. Even Christians have illustrated Bible stories and such. Buddhism has adapted its form so many times while maintaining its core truth. It doesn't always have to be that intellectual exegesis all the time. Sometimes it can just be entertaining.

doesnt non attachment to things pretty much suggest that we dont worry if material things are lost, as opposed to basing worth on such a things As far as non attachment in relation to people, you can view as yes i love these people and life is wonderful with them but their existence is important for them as well as myself

"That's how I understand practicing non-attachment--not trying to force myself to give up what I love or enjoy, but to maintain an awareness that it's all a mirage, a game, and that there's no need to hold on so forcefully when it is time to let go."

AS I pretend to be able to describe the present moment, there seems to be a middle ground between inside and outside of something that's real. I think the mirage and letting go is more related to the inside.

"doesnt non attachment to things pretty much suggest that we dont worry if material things are lost, as opposed to basing worth on such a things "

That would be very difficult to accept if you just lost your home and was homeless. The accumulation of things creates a responsibility to take care of them which takes more thinking, planning and work. The theory is if you take care of things moment to moment there is nothing worry about. Practice helps with that.

"Sure. Most people would have committed suicide after what happened to him. But he didn't. So it must be working!"

Hmm, I started sitting several years agoas an alternative to suicide. Now, afterseveral more years of suffering and nodiscernible benefit from zazen, I thinkthat suicide would have been the betteroption. So, if zazen is "working", it'sonly because other people hold outthe (so far) false promise that it leadsto something "better" or whateverthefuck.

@Anonymous 10:23Zazen isn't a miracle. It does help to clear a lot of cluttered thinking out of the way so issues can be addressed that may need to be addressed in the right forum such as with counseling or whatever is needed. I don't know you but I'm glad you're not dead from suicide right now. And I hope you're not dead from suicide tomorrow also.

"Hmm, I started sitting several years agoas an alternative to suicide"

According to a TV show I recently watched some forms of depression are caused by hormonal imbalances. Especially the 3 sex hormones. If this is the cause it's treatable, as are many of the other causes of dpression. Seek professional medical treatment. The good news is that many have recovered from what seems like an eternity of suffering. I wish you the best.

On this whole attachment vs non-attachment thing, let me tell a story I've told before. When I was in college a Japanese Rinzai Zen monk, Seikan Hasegawa, came and gave a talk. I only remember one thing he said during the talk. He said, "Some people say that a Zen person should remain unattached even if their house burns down and their wife and child dies. But that is not so. In that case, Zen should cry."

If buddhism is about right action at this very moment, then wouldn\t non-attachment be the idea of continuing on after a loss without allowing what was lost to hinder the continuation of right action. So moving on with grace and joy in the understanding of impermanence? This would seem to me to appear to observers including the one who has lost as a lack of feeling for that which was lost. But instead i think that after a great loss such as this housefire, there is an instantaneous moment when we/the universe feels infinite sorrow - "zen crys"

"If buddhism is about right action at this very moment, then wouldn\t non-attachment be the idea of continuing on after a loss without allowing what was lost to hinder the continuation of right action. So moving on with grace and joy in the understanding of impermanence? This would seem to me to appear to observers including the one who has lost as a lack of feeling for that which was lost. But instead i think that after a great loss such as this housefire, there is an instantaneous moment when we/the universe feels infinite sorrow - "zen crys" "

Imo, anon, 'action' refers to what you do, not what you think. With respect, what you've written is a very good example of thinking about what action might be - a very different thing to acting; so different as to be irrelevant. Meaningless, even.

What to do? Wait till your house burns down, then you will surely act. Will it be "right action"? If you cry, you cry. if you don't, you don't.

Not everyone comes to Buddhism in general or zazen in particular in a state of spiritual despair, though some do. Most of the writings and instruction you will find on the spiritual path is not written with that audience--of which you and I are members--in mind.

So you will not find such things as warnings that zazen can actually exacerbate psychic distress in such a way it's best contraindicated at certain times in one's personal and spiritual life if one is not well established in it and is in a fragile, already ego-fragmented state. Because zazen will take you deeper into the despair if you are truly in it, before it will ever lead you to the light on the other side. You have to be ready and willing to take that journey, and the sad thing is that there is very little support or understanding for those whose spiritual journeys take them through a dark way.

This is a shame, because despair is not a mere psychological affliction to be corrected with the proper balance of brain chemicals--it is the spirit of our times. We live in a world of fragmentation, alienation, having lost our old sources of meaning and not having quite come up with new ones. To delve into this side of things is to delve into something very real, and that is very real for a lot of people. Look at the art and music that is coming out of our time--I was just reading an article on TV On the Radio (great band, btw) that talked about how their music captured the loneliness, despair, and unfulfilled search for meaning that reflects our times.

There may be many reasons you are in a state of despair. You might be well served by medication, or may not be, depending on your needs. Good therapy from a good therapist is always of benefit, because it helps us develop better self-understanding and see blind spots that can elude even the best meditators for an entire lifetime and thus prevent them from fully relating with the truth of how things are. But sometimes, nothing is better than enjoying some red wine and good music (I recommend the Gutter Twins, whose music helped me through a year of despair) and just letting yourself be in a state of despair, without fighting it. And then you can find that even this despair can be beautiful, and illuminating. It can be a rewarding path if you can embrace the pain and difficulty it entails. If it gets to be too much, which it does for all of us at times, there are many avenues for alleviating it--and nothing is better than good friendship to help lift you out of the hole. Try to find friends who don't judge you for being who and where you are.

The path you are on--bringing a spiritual practice aimed at Truth into collaboration with a dark turn of mind--tends to be a long and difficult one. But it can be rewarding. It puts you in touch with the spirit of our times and thus deepens your understanding of others and ability to relate to them. And it makes you stronger, if you can stand it--it makes you braver, able to face pain in the service of Truth when it's necessary to do so. And it can be a very aesthetically beautiful path, one that deepens your appreciation for intense and disturbing art and experience, the kind that brings us in touch with the sublime, which can be a deeply 'spiritual' experience. People used to experience God as terrifying. From the Old Testament to Greek myths, to have an encounter with the divine side of reality was to risk madness. It was the ones who could handle the experience who became prophets and seers. But don't make the mistake of thinking that there are not very real dangers and demands of this sort of path. Be willing to seek help and friendship--a lot of people won't understand or be able to meet you where you are. People are frightened of states of despair, and understandably so. But some people who have learned to tolerate these states in themselves will be able to tolerate them in you as well, and can help you through a dark and difficult way.

There are some books I highly recommend that deal with facing despair as part of a spiritual and truth-seeking life. These have all helped me:

The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus (it was this book that helped me deal with my own suicidality without killing myself as a teenager)

Kierkegaard's writings on despair, "the sickness unto death," and the "leap of faith" (you can find these in The Basic Writings of Existentialism, edited by Gordon Marino)

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

What Men Live By by Leo Tolstoy

Rumi's poetry

(The following are all Buddhist books:)

The Zen Path Through Depression by Philip Martin

The Light Inside the Dark by John Tarrant

Living With the Devil by Stephen Batchelor

Bad Dog! by Lin Jensen

When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron (and anything else she's written, basically--I gave this book to my depressed, non-Buddhist mom, and tried to 'borrow it back' once, and she said, 'No way!' lol... Whenever I'm in a bad way, her books always help.)

Everyday Zen and Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck (she takes on states of despair and even suicidality without panic or sentimentality, but instead with a no-nonsense truthfulness, a lot like Pema Chodron does)

Last but not least:

Zen Wrapped in Karma Dipped in Chocolate by Brad Warner

And listen to some good music, for God's sake! And find ways to have fun, even if they're not approved of by everyone else (e.g. if going for long midnight walks over the Brooklyn Bridge is your thing, by all means, do it! ;)

You can e-mail me at stephaniehairston @ hotmail.com if you like, too.

I do walk my talk. Very much so. Not everyone gets it, but that's okay--it's not their job to do so. I posted that for the sake of the person to whom I addressed it, and anyone else struggling with these things. If you want to enter into a dialogue with me about it, feel free. But the same ol' ad hominems seem just as silly now as ever.

As 'right action' has been mentioned, and because it repeats a theme in a recent discussion, here's a little more Dogen (again from The Shobogenzo chapter "sanjushichi-bon-bodai-bunpo", "37 Elements of Bodhi"). He's discussing 'Right action as a branch of the path' - the eightfold noble path, that is:

(btw, this is by far the longest section of this chapter. There's yards and yards of it in a similar vein).

"Right action...is to leave family life and to practice the truth, it is to go into the mountains and gain experience...Nevertheless, for the last two or three hundred years...people calling themselves priests of the zen sect have habitually said, "Pursuit of the truth by a layman and pursuit of the truth by one who has left family life are just the same. They are a tribe of people who have become dogs, form the sole purpose of making the filth and urine of lay people into their food and drink".

Damn. I left out an important (if you're bothering) quote mark. The last few lines should read like this:

"[Priests have said] 'Pursuit of the truth by a layman and pursuit of the truth by one who has left family life are just the same'. They are a tribe of people who have become dogs, form the sole purpose of making the filth and urine of lay people into their food and drink."

So, from "They are a tribe of people..." is Dogen's opinion of the view that laymen and monks are 'just the same' in the truth-pursuit stakes.

If someone has the opportunity to practice as a monk or nun in a monastery, that obviously is a wonderful thing. But we shouldn't despise our present circumstances, we should practice today, and not wait for ideal circumstances to materialize. Practice might be just sitting for half an hour after you put the kids to bed, or even just remembering to say a sincere thank you with a smile.

If buddhism is about right action at this very moment, then wouldn\t non-attachment be the idea of continuing on after a loss without allowing what was lost to hinder the continuation of right action.

I'm the last person to ask about what it's like to be enlightened, but I stumbled across this blog post, which may shed some light:

Nairn had met the Karmapa and said that one of the most remarkable things about him ... was his ability to flow from one emotional state to another. As if he was able to truly feel the fullness of each emotion to its apex, and then simply let it go and move into the next.

Maybe the point is not being attached to the idea of being unattached.

Once upon a time, in a universe far away, our hero Budd Wandrer piloted his blogship through parts unknown. In his desire to open his blogship to all sentient beings in the known universe, he turned off the comment modulation feature that would normally keep the crustiest and slimiest creatures away. As a result, a number of strange beings gravitated to his blogship so as to catch a ride on its gravitational wake. Among the strangest were the Anonymi, shadowy beings who protected themselves with shields of invisibility and who communicated in numerous ways. Among the sub-types of Anonymi were the virulent and grotesque Trulls, the quirky Non Sequits, the bootythumpalicious Stanky Leggs, and the bizarrely incoherent Cannabi. Truly, anyone looking at Budd's blogship through their viewscope would see a bizarre assortment of beings attached to it like barnacles or following in its wake like dolphins. Yet Budd's blogship remained steady in its course, ignoring the pustulent activities of the Anonymi, fixated on its one true target--Budd's eternal arch enemy Jimbo Corn, whose following of corny Zinns threatened to destroy Budd's beloved Dinosaur Planet by colonizing it with puppies and kittens. "Your love rainbows will never overcome my furious Godzilla Dharma warp!" Budd cried as he blasted off to face this most nefarious enemy horde.

"Among the sub-types of Anonymi were the virulent and grotesque Trulls, the quirky Non Sequits, the bootythumpalicious Stanky Leggs, and the bizarrely incoherent Cannabi"

Very funny and truthful, Lieutenant Uhura. You have proven again your capability to keep the Anonymi in check. As the voyage continues we will rededicate ourselves to the exploration and knowledge of this Universe.

Learn to let shit drop . . . unless you enjoy being miserable. But a miserable person does not make for a good social worker. If you don't learn to let this stuff go, you will never be able to help anyone else. How can you lighten others' burdens when you carry around so many of your own????

Some of the most useful, constructive stuff here gets posted by anon. And surely it's the point that matters.

It's obvious that a 'named' poster can change id/adopt multiple ids, including "anon". So a name, contrary to the assumption, is no guarantee that your getting consistent insight into a person. Although there is , of course, a feeling of personal connection with attributed postings. Which can be fun. But I don't think people use names so that it's more interesting for the rest of us.

So why do people identify themselves?

Well, one can develop a rep as a buddhist savant, or debunker on the interweb. And you don't want to go uncredited for that, right?

Come clean, names, you do it for the glory, don't you? Or maybe you are truly bodhisattvas. You just wanna make sure we don't forget who's who.

I like most of the Anonymi. It's only the Trulls whose company I don't particularly enjoy, especially the sub-type Ad-Homini. I'm a big fan of the Non Sequits, of which the Stanky Leggs are actually a subtype. They keep this place weird, and thus fun and interesting.

Anon @ 4:55: I had hella fun writing my last comment, I had a stupid grin on my face the whole time. Lighten up, buddy.

Dear Brad, I just finished reading your latest book, karma dipped in chocolate. It proved to me once again that psychotherapy/analysis and meditation address different and largely independent things in a person. Most people in America badly need both. Making Zen real for Americans is admirable, but your lack of social and emotional (ego) maturity is painful to witness. You are not your ego, but that is the vehicle in which you interact with the world and so please work on it. Get some therapy. Integrate some shadow. Please. That you claim to have stopped being angry at your ex-wife in a day speaks volumes. I sense you have a good heart and a genuine desire to help others live better lives, but I think you're not helping Zen's cause or your own with chocolate's kind of writing. It paints a picture of an immature, sarcastic, self-loathing, persona-mad child who's never had much responsibility and hides behind the veil of zen. Come to think of it, karma chocolate reads like what I imagine "Dave Barry Does Zen" would if such a book were to be written by Mr. Barry. Anyway, keep it up, everyone develops unevenly.

"I think I may have overstated the case when I said that Buddhism doesn't much value the idea of non-attachment. It does. But there is a problem when you get too attached to words like "non-attachment." What I'm seeing in America is that a lot of folks seem to view the idea of non-attachment as being the same as what we call detachment. They take the view that a good Buddhist should be almost like what they used to call a sociopath. They believe Buddhism asks us to cultivate an attitude of callous indifference and a kind of narcissistic aloofness. Very few people actually do this, of course. But the idea that Buddhism advocates this kind of attitude turns a lot of sensitive people away, and that's a shame."

Now that was a good explanation of nonattachment and more of what should have been said to begin with. I am very impressed. Not just with the content, but with the fact Brad actually admitted he was mistaken to some degree.

Yeah, my expectations have been lowered appreciably over the past few years of reading Brad's stuff. Plus, I was trying to read Brad more 'charitibly' as per jinzang's suggestion. ha ha. I figure we should encourage him (brad) all that we can.

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