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My Peculiar Love, Arise!

You tumble still
wracking rocks
wrenching ravines
clawing cliffs
and scratching
with nails broken
and bloodied in the plunge.

No…I have not left
your side, your side
(it’s only bruised, Love)
so vulnerable to that lance
and the stinky rough
warhands of that coward
masquerading as a shepherd
covering for a rapist

And on that note remember
He who lays by your side
He who took the lance
He who went all the way
coming to common terms
with loss
blind as wind…

But I float now…see?
You will too soon…

And this is waiting…
there…and so I lay these words of care
upon your lips like mountain blood
white and clear and clean and cold
to slake your thirst with sop
(not hyssop)
of beauty, healing, Promise…

Oh my Love…my Love Peculiar
the day will come to
Arise

and join me in the Liberty
you prophesied when you spied
your baby’s heart eternal.

And the rapist…yes, most accurate…but I always recognized the traumatized and terrified little boy underneath who’d been bullied himself and groomed his entire life to prop himself up with power. I truly do love him and grieve for the freedom he’s been denied and will most likely continue to deny himself and others on this side of life. I can only bless him and move out of further harm’s way.

That is part of the actual horror and tumble of this Great Reduction, isn’t it!!?? It is that we do see…we do actually understand…

It has take me a year to get to the place that I can actualize the legitimacy and the sanction to truly feel the anger and rage and do it in a clean and purgative manner that leaves me expiated at last.

I actually find it much easier to have compassion for the “rapist” as opposed to his brother, the duplicitous one, with whom I’m still living in this godforsaken town. He never laid a hand on me directly, as he’s completely impotent and spineless. He stood by and played victim himself as the tyrants did their dirty work for him and took us out. He then left us for dead, never to be mentioned or acknowledged again. It’s to him I cry, “I’m here, I’m here, I’m here…and I’m not fine.” The duplicitous one has done much more damage than the rapist ever did. There is much blood on his hands.