To get to the root of this answer, we need to look at a part of our brain called the frontal lobe. The frontal lobe helps us make assumptions about the future by referencing existing memories. When you plan, predict and build intentions your frontal lobe lights up.

Put simply, the frontal lobe remembers <what happened> the last time you did <X behavior> and uses that information to decide <what to do next>.

It struck me one day that the frontal lobe works a lot like Google. Your memories are the search results, and your intention is what you plan to do with them.

What makes you so anxious about being late is the unconscious triggering of ‘lateness memories’ and the negative feelings that accompany them.

The condition “cyberchondria” makes a person believe they are always ill because they are overly informed – every sensation is a symptom.

Conversely, if you’re unaware about common heart attack symptoms, the search engine of your mind will make a different list of potential explanations. Gardening? Slept Awkward? Too much flexing in the mirror?

The same fear brought on by the heart attack hypochondria doesn’t occur.

Same input, different results.

Of course, a third option is to steer your mind away from both memory-based conclusions and into the present moment.

“Just because you asked one girl out and she slapped you last time doesn’t mean that all girls will slap you and transversely, just because the last girl you asked out said yes doesn’t mean that the next one will either.”

Another word for living in the present moment is mindfulness. By regularly practicing mindfulness and meditation you can transform your hyperactive frontal lobe from the Hulk back into Bruce Banner.

Everyone knows pitfalls can’t be avoided, but you don’t set up camp and roast marshmallows when you fall into one. But the old saying “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone,” doesn’t tell the whole story.

Performance increases with physiological or mental arousal, but only up to a point. When levels of arousal become too high, performance decreases. When levels are too low, performance decreases.

The right amount of challenge provides the right amount of stress, which provides the uncomfortable benefit of providing new memories. Instead of simply accessing old memories, you create memories.

If your boss says “Make this sale or, you’re fired” you’ll be too stressed to function optimally. However, if your boss provides you with a challenge of “You made five sales last month. This month I want eight.” Bam. Optimal anxiety.

Optimal anxiety marks the sweet spot of success. Too high and you flounder, too low and you stay in bed.

How to Literally Change Your Mind

Because stored memories unconsciously hijack our decision-making, we need to consciously take control of this system by creating new memories or reference experiences that shape our destiny positively.

I want you to make a fundamental change to your personal development paradigm. Instead of searching for the beliefs that will shape your experience, you should, instead, search for the experiences that will give you the beliefs you want.

Let’s use the example of skydiving. You can’t manipulate your fear of falling before you jump; you jump to manipulate your fear. It is not the skydiving itself that is the goal; skydiving is simply the stepping stone towards being the type of person who skydives.

By seeking the challenges that supply optimal anxiety, you’ll be able to generate new memories that end up lowering your anxiety in stressful situations.

This is the essence of growth: by incrementally heightening the stress bar in your life, you’ll only have to stretch a little to jump over it.

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Anthony W. Richardson is the author of "Full-Scale" and has spent his entire career as a growth marketer for startup companies. Beyond that his achievements are few -- he has founded a few tech companies and written a few words in a few publications you may have seen before.​ He currently resides in Florida with his dog, Raya.

True. Key to all this is to keep persisting in the new habits and new habits you are taking. However, it is not so easy to ‘fight’ or transform obsessive, persistent thoughts. This need lots of work, months, years.