Erasing Hot Buttons And Becoming Neutral

Hot buttons, also known as “triggers,” are those pieces in us that react to people or situations in a less than favorable way

Hot buttons, also known as “triggers,” are those pieces in us that react to people or situations in a less than favorable way. If we are not aware of them (or if we are aware of them but don’t take the time to neutralize them) they can make us miserable and affect our lives negatively — and they aren’t much fun for the people around us either!

Who’s Pushing Your Buttons?

Family members are frequently able to push our buttons mainly because we care about them so much. They’re closer to us and we make ourselves more vulnerable towards them. The same is true of romantic partners and close friends but even strangers can push our buttons sometimes.

It can happen to any of us. I’m usually pretty calm these days but that hasn’t always been the case. It took years of working on myself and increasing my awareness. Even today though, some people can still push my buttons. It never feels good.

What’s Your Pattern?

Think back to the last few times your buttons were pushed, those moments when you became angry and upset because of something someone said or did. What was it about? Can you remember what they said or did and how it made you feel? Can you see a pattern in those moments?

…when I think about the last couple times I was annoyed, on each occasion, I felt I wasn’t being heard

For example, when I think about the last couple times I was annoyed, on each occasion, I felt I wasn’t being heard. I was with two different people and neither of them was listening to what I was saying.

That hot button must have been there since childhood. I grew up in a large family and our parents weren’t always able to give each child their full attention. But just because the hot button is there doesn’t me I have to carry it all my life. There is a way to erase it.

Why You Should Erase Hot Buttons.

The main reason for eradicating your hot buttons is that being triggered is not a nice experience. It doesn’t feel good, and who likes to feel like that? You may regret reacting the way you did and you may feel embarrassed.

That’s especially true at work. Imagine having a tantrum in the middle of an important meeting because someone said something that pushed your button. Whether you felt you were being criticized or looked down on or judged, you react in rage, defensiveness or aggravation.

Those who advance up the professional ladder have usually mastered some self-restraint and the ability to stay calm and neutral in most situations.

You make a poor impression and appear unprofessional. This can easily hurt your career. Those who advance up the professional ladder have usually mastered some self-restraint and the ability to stay calm and neutral in most situations.

Or imagine that you’re having a romantic night out and your date says something that triggers you. It might have been completely innocent and made with no intention of hurting you but you react, blow up and end the date — or maybe even terminate the relationship. Women who do this get a reputation for being “drama queens” and men look childish and unpredictable.

These are not qualities that will get you the partner of your dreams.

Being Neutral Versus Being Reactive

When your buttons are pushed, you react. You may feel a surge of adrenaline, or a rush of blood to the head. You lose control and start behaving irrationally.

When your buttons are pushed, you react. You may feel a surge of adrenaline, or a rush of blood to the head. You lose control and start behaving irrationally.

The button has triggered a reaction.

If the button wasn’t there, you would stay calm and neutral. You’d let things said slide and you’d stay centered. Not being neutral makes you react instead of keeping control.

The Benefit Of Button Pushers

You might think the best thing that button pushers can do is to stay out of your way. But it doesn’t work like that.

The first spiritual law is: “You are the creator of your own reality.”

If you weren’t a vibrational match to those people, they wouldn’t show up in your reality. Now that they’re there, you have a great opportunity to access those hot buttons and erase them.

Once that’s done and you become neutral. You’re no longer a vibrational match and they can no longer reach you.

Button pushers give you a chance to change your reality.

How To Erase Hot Buttons

The main reason for eradicating your hot buttons is that being triggered is not a nice experience.

I received this process from Kerri Finnecy and have applied it a few times. It works! Even if you don’t know exactly what the button is, you can locate it on your body and start moving some energy through it.

Think back about the last time you someone pushed your button. Try to re-create that feeling of anger or frustration.

Now try to feel it in your body. Which part of your body tightens up? That’s where you’re holding the button. It’s usually somewhere between your throat and your torso.

Take some deep breaths.

Bring a color — any color is fine.

Love that part of your own subconscious that feels so aggravated.

Tell it:

I see you there.

I feel how you feel.

I love you no matter what.

Notice the clarity you feel as the energy moves through this piece.

Think about the situation. Does it feel softer?

When you think about that person or situation, do you still feel aggravated?

Keep giving this piece light and unconditional love until you no longer feel discomfort when you think about the situation.

Clear The Energy, Change The Dynamics

Once you clear the energy, you change the dynamics. You may realize that what this person is doing has nothing to do with you. They’re following an old pattern that happens to trigger a piece in you. You have control over that piece.

Now when you have a conversation with that person, one of three things will happen:

The person will continue their behavior but you don’t react.

The person will change their behavior as a reaction to your new vibration.

The person will disappear from your life completely because they are no longer a vibrational match to you.

All those scenarios are good and certainly better than being triggered. Clean up your buttons whenever they’re triggered and in no time you’ll feel more neutral and calm in most situations.

3 Comments

Myridean
on January 18, 2015 at 5:48 am

Thank you so much for this article! It would’ve been most helpful several years ago when I was working in a toxic environment but I’m finding a lot of reources now to prevent and be prepared as it had done a real number to my mental health. In regards to your article regarding blame, with my situation I thought it was good to ask others, “Is it just me? It can be just you and your emotional baggage but after speaking with the union steward, my employment assistant counsellor and a psychiatrist for a competence to work evaluation, I wanted to know if my manager and supervisor were right in labelling me super-sensitive or I was legitimately being harassed. All three agreed on the latter. I was so relieved in being laid off and not fired from the workplace.

The issue now for me is to not have this prior situation color my perception with negativity after I start a new job. Inble the past when it came to conflict, I would focus on their complaint/criticism and try to rectify quickly as possible with a solution but there’s a price of those harsh words of anger that instills fear in me now because with
every new job, it is expected that a new employee will make mistakes sometimes several times or a lot. Also, we’re human; we try to be perfect but it’s impossible. Thankfully, Eckhart Tolle’s book, “A New Earth” gave suggestions on how to maintain the locus of control in such situations that enables you to try to connect and be present for them and to look past their ego that is expressing itself to you. The hurt you feel is your ego manifesting an emotional reaction and be aware. In Thelema, they call it the True Self observing its own self while Tolle talks about evolved consciousness.

I read your “Opening Your Heart” ritual and so I hope that when I do get my next job, I can freely embrace the experience without fear.