Real FedEx tracking numbers do not have letters in them, sir. This is 1-800-GO FEDEX, sir. Perhaps you meant to call 1-900-GO FEDEX?

(Man, guess what I found out today? 1-900-gofedex (I'm sure the letters stand for something else in the 900 number) is a sex line. And apparently lots of people call 1 800 GOFEDEX thinking it is a sex line and vice versa. )