Trailer Trash #5

Your weekly dose of awful game videos

We have some real doozies for you this week. Plus, as an added bonus, we’ve included a movie trailer so bizarre and irresponsible that we just had to incorporate it with the rest of the trash. Enjoy!

Brave: Shaman’s Challenge

Who needs peyote and vision quests when you have janky Dr. Mario knockoffs? Our spirit guide suggests that there are plenty of free flash games out there that can scratch this itch. Also busted: check out how they pop up a title card for the unique “Last Breath” feature, then just cut to the logo instead of showing you the feature in action. Editing!

My Make-Up

The My Whatever series exists solely to condition little girls to conform to gender stereotypes and turn them into vapid consumers of mass-produced crap. We show you this capitalist brainwashing propaganda solely for the purpose of helping you resist its nefarious influence.

Above: The work of a dangerous domestic terror group, the Barbie Liberation Organization

Superstars V8 Racing

This trailer lets you know right off the bat that Superstars V8 Racing is from Milestone, the creators of Screamer and Screamer Rally. Still scratching your head? Perhaps this chart will stimulate your memory:

So the 12-year wait is finally over! OK, to be fair they’ve been regularly turning out niche Superbike games for some Italian publisher. But for this glorious return to auto racing, here’s what they have in store for us:

Above: Probably shouldn’t have eaten that handful of shrooms before the race…