THE SKULLSRated PG-13 - Running Time: 1:45 - Released 3/31/00
The desire to become involved in a secret society is something
I've never really understood, particularly if the group serves
no purpose except to keep its own secrets and make its members
feel special by doing so. However, I suppose at certain ivy league
colleges there is no shortage of eager would-be members. This
is the theme of Rob Cohen's The Skulls, a dark, stupid
tale about a young Yale man who is seduced by the power of the
school's most powerful club, and lives to regret it. Unfortunately,
thanks to writer John Pogue and the sorry performances of those
reading his text, so do we.

Cafeteria assistant Luke McNamara (Joshua Jackson, Dawson's
Creek), who has to work for a living, would be of no interest
to the wealthy, elitist members of The Skulls were it not for
his amazing ability on the school's rowing team ("sculling"
 get it?). Despite his roommate and row captain Will's (Hill
Harper) dislike of the secretive fraternity, and the similar feelings
of his female friend Chloe (Leslie Bibb), Luke can't deny feeling
honored when he is tapped as a new member. Of course, it doesn't
hurt that they give him a sexy vintage sports car and promise
to pay his tuition and get him accepted at Harvard law school.
During the process of "discovery" (a.k.a. hazing), he
becomes friends with Caleb Mandrake (Paul Walker, Pleasantville,
Varsity Blues), the spoiled
son of Litten Mandrake (Craig T. Nelson), a wealthy and influential
local politician who is president of the society.

Although Luke vows not to let his Skull membership affect his
relationship with his non-Skull friends, Will and Chloe immediately
start pestering him for secrets, and Will attempts to find out
about the club by breaking into its headquarters. He is discovered
by Caleb, and something terrible happens. Soon Luke must choose
between his old friends with their love and integrity, and his
new friend with its convertible top and restored original red
leather interior.

From the moment when they instruct the new recruits not to
reveal the identities of the club's membership, and then immediately
brand them, cattle-style, with a hot iron, on the wrist, with
a skull emblem, this film suffers from the most stupid series
of credibility gaps one can imagine. A supreme court nominee who
instructs someone to murder so as not to jeopardize his own chances
for appointment. An old-fashioned duel, using 19th-century dueling
pistols, taking place on the grounds of a present-day Yale University
building under the supervision of respected adults. A man being
presumed dead after suffering a 2-foot fall. An automobile chase
on railroad tracks. Not to mention people reacting to adversity
by shouting "Nooooooooo!" into the sky. It's all here,
folks. Bad story, bad dialogue, bad acting. I've seen better stories
cooked up by my 4-year-old in the back yard, playing imaginary
games. Hey, that's it: maybe Pogue has a pre-schooler helping
him with ideas. *½