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“…Not only is your soul bigger and wiser than you are, it knows the story better than you do, too. You may begin a poem and think you know where it’s going, but you’re going on your conscious, limited knowledge. Your well contains the true end of the poem, and you simply won’t know it until your creativity draws it up…just do what comes to you, and you watch what appears.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve begun a body of work in hopes of writing about a) and then it ends up being more about b). I don’t mind that, though. I think I’ve always recognized that through writing more of my true self can be revealed. That’s one of the benefits of writing for me. The first time I remember realizing that my soul was taking over my pencil (or perhaps it was God?) was when I sat down to write about a certain boy. I was young, in love, and stupid- as these things often go. As you may have already read, I used to try to be a poet. Clearly, I am not. But all those years ago, I sat down and wrote this:

bottled up emotions I never set free, somewhere deep down inside me

I wish I could speak their truths, I want to tell Him for all to break loose

stowed away, I keep them hidden in a place forever forbidden

the chains of my secrets tie down my heart, I only regret I’m not back at my start

the key will unlock my chains and will forever bear my stains

I hope for forgiveness and look towards the sky, and never again feel the need to know why

Reading this now, I have to giggle. What troubles could I have possibly had in high school to make me sit down and contemplate my life to this extent? Anyway, the point is- something was revealed to me that day. I wrote and as I did so, I realized that my spiritual life was lacking. I wasn’t in a good spot and my soul was telling me that I needed to change that.

My mother-in-law gave me a book to peruse called “God in the Yard.” This book is about the author’s journey in spirituality and how she set out to find God in various places throughout her day. L.L. Barkat decides to spend some quiet time in her yard while sitting in her childrens’ sled oblivious to what the neighbors may think.

I have only begun reading so I will let you know how this turns out, but I already know that this was such a thoughful gift. Many times throughout the chapters, Barkat asks the reader to write, journal, discuss, or blog answers or thoughts on certain questions and topics. As you all know, blogging is right up my alley so I’ll be sure to keep you informed on this process.

Who knows…maybe I’ll grow closer to my Creator during all this. Perhaps I’ll simply benefit in having better blog material. I already know that it will be an excellent excuse to arise in the mornings, prepare some chai tea, and crack open this book before my devotional time. As the Psalmist wrote, “You get us ready for life: you probe our soft spots, you knock off our rough edges.”-Psalm 7:9 I’m sure what is meant to happen will happen. I’m just along for the ride 🙂

Kacy , Wait till you meet LL, Barkat. She blows into town about once a year to see her Dad and stepmom. I will make sure you get to meet her , if at all possible. I was so drawn to her and her understanding of scripture. Or maybe you and I can fly to NYC someday and “do the city” ( David breaks out in hives everytime I mention going to the Big Apple) Oh now my mind is racing …we could invite Aunt Susie and Sarah Royer and we could have a girls weekend. We could most likely meet up with LL. Barkat if she has time. Oh that would be joyous fun!!!!

I really enjoyed this post. I follow a couple of different marriage and family blogs written by pastors and marriage counselors, and it seems to me that if you ever wanted to follow in their footsteps as a writer, you could. Sometimes God gives us a gift and we just have to sit on it a while before we know what we’re supposed to be doing with it. You obviously have an eye and an ear out for material for great posts like this, so my guess is that they’ll keep coming, infused high school poetry or no 🙂