Previously on Dynasty: Cristal got the COO job Fallon wanted; Fallon decided to start a new company with Jeff; Fallon told an obnoxious dude named Robbie Reed that Michael was her boyfriend but told Monica that was just a lie to get rid of Robbie, and Michael overheard her; Michael slept with Kori Rucks, the city councilwoman who had refused a contract to Fallon; Steven tried to help Sam only to learn that he orchestrated a robbery; Cristal and Blake offered to pay for Cristal’s dead, married ex-boyfriend’s funeral and his sad wife Claudia accepted; Cristal and Matthew’s sex tape was a huge hit on the internet and Claudia saw it.

The new Off-Broadway staging of A Clockwork Orange holds little interest for us here at Adversion, but the New York Times reviewer was so hilariously distracted by the hot actors and their sixpacks that it made for entertaining, if mystifying, reading nonetheless. (For once it’s the male actors being unnecessarily objectified, not the women. Progress? Regress?)

Speaking of profiles that are overly focused on female actors’ looks, this profile of Kate McKinnon is certainly guilty, but if you’re like us you probably can’t get enough of reading about Kate McKinnon and reliving her Hillary impressions from a more optimistic time. (via Vanity Fair)

We are 100% for sure going to be covering Josh Schwartz’s remake of Dynasty, which premieres next Wednesday. How could the creator of The OC and Gossip Girl not get our full attention? Here are some links to whet your anticipation:

Bustlevisited the set and heard that the show is super feminist. Yay! (Although, to be clear, it’s “Lean In” feminism, not actual, destroy-the-kyriarchy feminism). Apparently it’s quite diverse, too.

Obviously the show can’t fill the hole Gossip Girl left in our hearts unless the costumes are fabulous. According to Fashionista, they are.

Speaking of Josh Schwartz, ICYMI (since we haven’t done a links post in like two months), Vanity Fair published a great oral history of Gossip Girl, which if you can believe it is having its tenth anniversary.

You may or may not have noticed that we have stopped recapping Nashville, and it’s not because we’re lazy and/or behind (although that’s often the case). It’s because–and we’re sad to say this–Nashville has jumped the shark, an especially impressive feat for a show that was already about feuding country singers. So instead of recapping a show that has become too ridiculous even for our teen-soap-loving sensibilities, we’re going down the list of the best (or, more accurately, worst) jumping-the-shark moments that we’ve seen on television.

There are only three (loose) rules for something to qualify as jumping-the-shark: 1) It has to be f*cking ridiculous, in direct proportion to how ridiculous the show was to begin with; 2) it should preferably be a ratings ploy; and 3) it has to mark the point-of-no-return that begins a downward spiral, an evolution into a significantly stupider and/or offensive show that we never would have watched if we weren’t already attached to the characters. Enjoy.