Abused 20 years later - Depressed - Life Ruined

My life changed because of my desire to get an education. 20yrs ago at 16 I met a teacher who I asked for helped with my homework. To make a long story short, he abused me for 20years and the guilt and shame I felt cause me to lose all my teenage friends and family members - Who he claimed were no good for me. I know what you're thinking, How could someone abused you for this long, well, I was brained wash to think I was gay and he preyed on my innocence and silence to not speak out because of the shame. I tried leaving many times before but, I went back because I had know friends or family to turn to. They all thought I was just a weird loner. Little did they know I was screaming for help and acceptance. This ruined my life completely, almost 40yrs, can't keep a job too long, I have absolutely no trust for people in authority, I have made attempts to start new relationship which he would sabotage but spilling the gay lifestyle. I walk around confident and strong but I am such a devastated human being. So I try not to give my heart to people in fear of how they will use it against me.

Today, many people just think I am just an angry person who cannot get along with anyone.

I now feel a very sad sense of anger towards gay people and I know that it is wrong. Of all the things in the world, this was the last thing I wanted in my life. I was just a kid, trying to do the right thing, why couldn't he see that...

From my experience gay people are very predatory and insidious. They don't have the moral core and they try to destroy that moral core in everyone. They try to make you believe you are gay and break you down to normalize their own perversion. I am sorry to hear you went through that.

Whatever you have written is too deep for me to grasp anthying I can say-Nice research You should send this hypothysis to some religious -knowledable ppl Let them evaluate-I m not qualified to say any thing.