I'd rather be having a quiet drink... and can be followed on Twitter @alcothusiast; and friended on Untappd (handle: "neilcake" - all welcome).

Sunday, 15 December 2013

We need to talk about New Year

Well, we’ve had a couple of posts about Christmas, so I
suppose the least I can do is follow them up with a post about New Year’s Eve –
the climax of the Christmas period, and traditionally the time that everyone
goes out all at once and gets pissed up. Then, when it’s all over, I can just
get on with blogging about booze, and never mention these two events again. And
that will be lovely.

It drives me mad how everything stops at this time of year,
and just concedes defeat to the relentless tide that is all things festive.
Music stops, and is replaced by the same Christmas songs you hear every year.
Restaurants stop, and run Christmas menus where everything’s turkey, salmon,
cranberry sauces and stuffing. TV stops and all you get is shit festive
specials and repeats of The Vicar of Dibley.

It’s ridiculous really, because you have all that fuss, all
that build up… and then it’s just over and it’s January. It’s like waking up
from a long dream where everyone’s acting over-enthusiastic, and during which
someone has been force feeding you chocolate, party treats and alcohol. You
wipe the sleep from your eyes and go, “what the fuck was all that
about?"

So, New Year, the biggest anti-climax known to man. You’re
supposed to go out and have a great time, but I’ve been thinking, and I can’t
think of a single great New Year’s Eve. I probably need to stop before I get on
to moaning about how everywhere is too crowded, taxis are too expensive, you
have to buy a ticket in advance to get into a bar, and that means you have to
stay in that bar all night, and that’s shit because I hate staying in one
place… but! I don’t know what all the fuss is about. Everyone seems to think
that working on New Year’s Eve entitles them to being paid double or even
triple time. It shouldn’t really, because they’re not really even missing out
on anything. At least if you’re working, you don’t have to worry about how
you’re going to celebrate.

One year when we lived in Didsbury, we got the bus into town
on new year, and for some reason the bus company (Finglands) had decided to instil
a policy of ‘whatever your journey, £3’. That was a bit steep, considering you
could get a weekly pass for £2 in those days.

It proved to be really annoying too, because it took every
single customer along the route by surprise – and obviously the closer to town
people lived, the less value they were getting for their money. They all got
on, thinking they were going to get a bargain trip into town, but when greeted
with ‘wherever you get on, wherever you’re going, it’s 3 quid’, they didn’t
know what to do. And this happened at every stop, so you’d have to wait an age
while they deliberated: “what? £3?”

On or off!

Getting into town took forever – literally of course.

The best New Year that was entirely booze-fuelled, and on
which I actually went out, was probably the millennium. I know; it should have
been an anti-climax, and I suppose it was in a way… I hadn’t even made any
plans to go out – in fact, I was planning to stay in with the parents and watch
the final episode of the Das Boot TV series.

Instead of that, I got a phone call at the 11th
hour from my friend Pits. Somehow he hadn’t got anything to do, and we decided
he’d come over to the sprawling metropolis that is Wath-upon-Dearne, and we’d
go out looking for trouble.

Dad; VCR on standy. Don’t forget to record Das Boot. I
want to make sure them Jerrys are drowned good and proper…

It was a weird night, because you needed tickets to get in
everywhere – even at all the local pubs. We tried one in Swinton, but the
bouncer asked for our tickets, and we pretended we’d left them at home, and
would just pop back to get them.

Next we tried a pub down Wath. There wasn’t anyone on the
door, so with Pits being the fearless blagger that he is, we just went in. We
managed one drink before we were rumbled and thrown out.

Finally we found a pub in the centre of Wath that wasn’t
working on an all-ticket basis. It was like walking into an episode of The
League of Gentlemen. There were only about four people in there, and they
were all older than time, but nevertheless, they were delighted to see us. The
prices were pretty good, too.

I can’t remember much of what we did, but a very old
painted-faced lady insisted on kissing us as we left – in that wet way that
only grannies have.

So, yes, that is the best going out New Year’s Eve I can
remember. Pretty sad, really. Your best bet in my opinion, is to go to a house
party. Or even better, host one. You just need to make sure you plan it far
enough in advance, and hope enough people think it’s going to be good enough to
go to.

Last year we were planning to go for a meal with some
friends. It was something like £60 each, but you get all champagne and that.
Unfortunately our friends were completely skint, so just ended up going round
theirs.

This year the decision has been taken out of our hands,
since we’ll be in Canada over the festive period, and our flight back is on New
Year’s Day, so we’ll just be hanging out with Mrs Cake’s family.

Well, I’m not here to tell you what to do or where to go,
but wherever you end up going or not going, whatever you end up doing, have a
good one, and try to stay out of trouble, eh?

That’s me for this year, then. I won’t be able to post now
until the beginning of January, so look out for that. I’m thinking of starting
with a brief nod to three Spirits of the
Year, though that could well change before then. I also thought about doing
a little look ahead to what you can expect from me next year, but I tried that
and it wasn’t interesting. That’s not to say next year won’t be interesting! It
will. Seriously! I’m sure there will be some booze tourism adventures and I’ll
always think of a new experiment to carry out or something new to investigate –
as a taster, I’m particularly looking forward to finding out which standard
supermarket blended scotch is the best. So if you’re going to make a new year’s
resolution, make it to come back and visit my blog a bit more often. It’ll be
easier and better than quitting smoking. So I’ll see you soon then, yeh? Good.
Take it easy. Oh, and happy new year.

2 comments:

My fave New Year was prob last year - we had a tasting menu in our fave local restaurant, then got shit faced at Great Gatsby... although the party we had in the flat the year before was also pretty good! This year we're off to a party at a friends - is it wrong that I kinda can't be arsed?

Definitions

What happens when you zone out after having had a cheeky lunchtime pint.

Alcothusiast:

Not an alcoholic, someone who appreciates booze.

Anxiety, The:

The uneasy feeling that accompanies any noteworthy hangover.

Booze Buffet Mentality:

The propensity people have to go nuts whenever there's a free bar.

Booze Porn:Photos of alcohol.

Bread Chest:Not booze related, but this term describes the indigestion you get from eating too many bread products too quickly. Just putting it out there...

Crawler's Block:The inability to decide where to go next during a pub crawl - often resulting in crawl stagnation and someone saying, "shall we just have another one here?"

Crawl Stagnation:The result of failing to plan a pub crawl sufficiently - lack of a route, theme or over-familiarity with nearby pubs can all be contributing factors.

Excess Induced Alcohol Aversion:An intolerance for a drink caused (usually) by one occasion of overindulgence.

The Family:My whisky collection.

MOMA:

Moment of Maximum Appreciation. Every bottle has one. It's the time you drink it where you enjoy it most.

Old Man Pub:Traditional British pub, renowned for being quiet, cosy and frequented by old men. Much favoured by people who like a nice chat while they drink.Psychological Drinks Cabinet:Collective term relating to the kinds of alcoholic drinks a person has need for.Road Beers:

Cans of beer that you take with you when you go out, to consume on the way.

The 3 Types of Rum:White, gold and dark. Together they form the base of many a great cocktail.

About Me

Neil Cake is interested in all types of booze, but is by no means an authority or expert. Most of the time he's just trying to be funny, but he is learning, and enjoys sharing his adventures and what he learns on the Drink it How You Like it blog.
Thengyuverrymuuuuuch.