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Sunday, April 29, 2007

(As much as I had hoped my previous column would have served as a catharsis of sorts, I realized I wasn’t done yet. Bear with me…)

So this is playing out just as I had thought – and dreaded. Reid and pals proclaiming, soon to be ad nauseam, that this was not a message to Mr. Chunky Soup. It’s just simply “how the board played out.”

Which got me to thinking: Are these professional experts or amateur fantasy players?

Did they even need to be present as the draft was happening in real-time? Or, a more telling question: Were they?

As an amateur (and mediocre at best) fantasy player myself, the Eagles draft reminded me of when my fantasy football draft was scheduled at a time when I had other things to do; perhaps go to work, attend a family function or just to oblige my girlfriend to stop spending every spare moment doing something sports related for the sake of our relationship.

At these times, I would simply log into the league web site in advance and spend far too much time pre-ranking my players, hoping that if the auto draft selected a hot shot to fill the need at one position, it would then move on to fill the void at others.

Of course, that never happens with auto draft.

What typically does occur is that I’ll try to bank on solidifying my ground game (and where the bulk of the points usually stem from) and rank a small bunch at top to ensure I get at least two guys whom I can count on all season.

I’m quite sure there’s a more effective strategy to run the draft in absentia, but like I said, I’m an amateur.

The end result is typically that I’ll get my stud running back. Then another great one. Then another decent one (a backup for insurance isn’t so bad, right?), but would have remained on the more for several more rounds. Then another serviceable one, but chosen right around the same time as that up-and-coming wide receiver who slipped that far for no apparent reason. And then, for good measure, one more who wasn’t even slated to be drafted at all.

In the meantime, I get someone like Kurt Warner as my starting quarterback (2006 version, not 2001), a DonteStallworth, injury-waiting-to-happen type as my No. 1 receiver, a starting tight end more known for his blocking, and the TempleOwls for my team defense.

The more I think of how this Eagles draft turned out, the more I wonder if Andy and pals had to attend a family function, or perhaps were guilted into spending more time with the better half (“You’re watching film on football players again? Isn’t there a rerun of Sex and the City on?”), and simply ran an auto draft.

Look back on this week and tell me if you don’t notice a similar pattern as my fantasy ineptitude.

Jeff’s columns run here every Sunday – and sometimes twice when he’s especially pissed off about something. Feel free to email him and share in his misery: jglauser@phanaticmag.com.