Look at it as though it was probably going to happen anyway, because Grandma does sound controlling. At least you got to say what you wanted to say and they know now that you have a position that you are willing to fight for. They are just testing you to see if you will follow through with the threats. Up until now you could say whatever you wanted and you weren't violating anything....now be careful and don't make threats, because chances are they have already made an appointment with a lawyer or has already done so. Get to filing those papers asap. Don't delay. Good luck, and I am sure everyone here is hoping that you do keep us posted. Hang in there. Karen

Lukensdad - Please keep your head up. Your son will look back on how you never gave up on trying to be a part of his life. As hard as it may be just try to be the bigger person. it sucks I know, but sometimes biting your tongue is the best thing in the world

Originally posted by LukensDad:
[qb] I just posted in another thread but now I feel like expanding on my story and maybe getting some help.

I'm 17 and I have a 5 month old baby boy. I'd do anything for this kid, but his mother and grandmother are trying to keep me out of his life.

I had just turned 16 and Amy was 15 when she got pregnant. I think it was then that her mother decided she hated me. But she put up with me for as long as she could, "for the baby's sake." Right. Amy and I broke up when she was seven months pregnant, but right from the start I had every intention of being in my child's life and that didn't change when we broke up. But every day since then has been a fight to do just that. Amy's mother wanted me as far away from her and the baby as possible. I had to beg her to let me see my son being born. If there hadn't been a doctor present, and Amy's mom didn't want to make a scene, I don't think she would have let me hold him.

I got a job as soon as I found out Amy was pregnant. I've worked my *** off to save up some money. I bought Luken his car seat, which they use in their car. I bought him bottles, toys, clothes, and I bring over diapers every time I'm actually allowed to see him. And I give them whatever I can on top of that. It's not court-ordered child support, but it's something and I feel like I should be doing something. After all, he's my son too.

But Amy's mother doesn't see it that way. She is controlling - I know Amy would let me actually spend time with my boy, but her mother thinks I'm some sort of threat to him. To be totally fair, I have had a history of emotional problems and severe depression. She thinks this automatically means that the second I'm alone with Luken, I'm going to kill him and myself. She doesn't understand that I'd never do anything to hurt that baby and that I would die if it meant he never had to feel any kind of pain.

All I want is to spend time alone with him to actually bond. I'm allowed over there every Saturday for three hours. I've called in sick to work to make these visitations because even though I do need the money, my son is more important. Amy's mom watches me like a hawk when I'm there. If I pick him up, she tells me I'm 'holding him wrong' and I'm going to hurt him. If I try to bottle feed him, I'm doing that wrong too and he's going to get sick. And when I try to change him? Lord knows I can't do THAT right either! If I don't get him cleaned up and the new diaper on in 30 seconds flat, she whisks him away to do it herself. And yet, she wants me to 'learn how to take care of him properly' before she'll leave me alone with him. How can I do that when she won't LET me? So what if I take a little longer to change him - I'm learning. And he's giggling, clearly enjoying the whole escapade. I'm not hurting him in any way.

All I want is a full weekend visit with my son. I want some time alone with him. I want to be able to take him out. He's never even been to my house. Someday I would like to go for custody of him. When I have a place of my own, more than an 11th-grade education, and a steady job. When I can fully support him the way I want to. Right now, I just want to spend some time with him. I want him to know who I am. Is that too much to ask?

I don't want to take him away from his mother - I know Amy loves him. But I also have a suspicion that his grandmother is his primary caregiver in that house. I don't want to complain or make it sound like Amy shouldn't have a life outside of Luken, but last week I talked to her as she was preparing to go see a concert. I asked who was watching Luken, expecting her to say her mother. No, her mother was out for the evening. They had hired a babysitter. Nevermind that he has a perfectly capable father who wouldn't even charge them anything for a chance to spend a few measley hours with his son.

This is driving me crazy. I grew up without my father present, and my mother made some pretty bad dating choices when I was younger. Although I now have a very supportive stepfather who is more of a father to me than my biological one ever was, I don't want Luken to grow up the way I did. I want to be in his life. I will fight to do that, but I don't know how anymore. I'm not really sure of how to go about getting court-ordered visitation, and I'm a little strapped for cash.

Hey lukensdad,
I really reallly respect you. Im 16 and have a baby boy he's 18mons. I broke up with my baby's daddy when the baby was about 5mons. I broke up with him mainly because he wanted to be a sometimes dad (he only wanted to be a dad when it was convenent for him). But ne teen mom would be so lucky to have a guy like u in there childs life. But unfortunly her mother dosent see it that way. I think its because that your got her lil gurl pregnant when she was only 15. I dont think her mother can get over that and until she dose i dont think shes going to accept you. I fell so bad cause it sounds like you really love your son. So just keep and tryin and maybe ask her mom if you can talk to her and explain how much u really love your son and deserve time with him. And if worst comes to worst you'll just have to go to court. If you dont have the money for a lawyer mabye you can get pro bono work because lawyers have to do some free work every year. Well i really hope every thing works out for you. And if you can update me on things, please.
Thanks, Rachelle

Lukensdad, I give you so much credit. At least you are wanting to be involved. And your so young! It's too bad they are treating you like this. I'm in the same boat but on the other end. I'm 26 and my ex and I split about a month before I even found out I was pregnant. He has wanted nothing to do with this pregnancy. I give you so much credit for trying because he is almost 30 and just changed his phone number and is seeing other girls. They need to open there eyes and quit being selfish. Take it to court and prove to them what type of Father you really are. The only one who will suffer is the child and they need to open up there eyes. I wish you luck and I know it's hard. I deal with it every day. But goodness will come out of this.

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