Engaging Your Strengths…

At some point in my 20′s, as I was searching for who I was in a more crude fashion. I determined that I had “eagle’s eyes” and was not only strong but could, with the slightest eye movement, see the fine points and slightest movements in a landscape. Why? Well my self image was attached to a particular version of what it meant to be a man. You see, apparently I’m part Mohawk–couple that with the “truth” that men are physically strong, eminently wise, profoundly perceptive–and seeing that I was a pretty skinny guy, I had to be REALLY perceptive otherwise my very identity was at stake!

You know how every so often you get a list where you have to find your name or a particular word? Well, in the face of such a task, I would literally assume a stern, slightly amused face (my version of confidence) as I glanced over a document assuming my eyes would land easily upon my name. But after several of these, more random than skilled, attempts, I’d become more desperate and start searching a bit more urgently as my self-image hung in the balance. I’m sure it would have been amusing to watch as I’d end up usually with my eyes bugged out of my head, searching for what others, even those I’d assumed to be weaker, could easily perceive. Ug.

Come on… You’ve done the same thing! We’ve all decided who or what we are based on what we think is cool, powerful, sexy, profound or acceptable and then force-lived proof into our lives. Now to a certain point we, wanting to remain members of any particular society, will do what is acceptable. That’s not the point. The point is how we, with access to a pretty broad spectrum of qualities/characteristics, thoughts and actions, so swiftly choose within a narrow range so as to be approved of or even exalted by the right group. Suddenly we’re cramming ourselves into the right way of dressing, talking and acting–and then building a life on the charade that this is who we are.

Discovering who you are, your identity, is a big deal of course. But we do ourselves a huge injustice when we start the process by looking outside ourselves, voting on what we think is safe, cool or whatever and choosing. It takes some rigor in self-reflection in order to recognize that we’ve identified ourselves with our money or our home (yeah, cliche, I know). We have to search deeply to be certain that we aren’t living as if who we are is our past or our family. Who you are needn’t be Hollywood’s or L.L. Bean’s or the NAACP’s or your political party’s version of what it means to be any particular demographic you “represent”.

Who you are is something much more eternal than the latest fashions and flavors of dress and ideology. This doesn’t mean you can’t wear Nike or Sean John. It doesn’t mean you won’t talk in the dialect of your chosen friends. It does mean you have to be conscious that you’re living your life from something deeper.

That something deeper is the wonderful combination of great qualities you are. It’s up to us to recognize those qualities and to choose to live according to them, regardless of how successfully we’ve lived them in the past. No it’s not glamourous in itself but its fruits of happines and authentic self-expression are pretty special–not to mention, what we all yearn for.

You are gentle. You are fun. You are strong. You are capable. You are profound. You are many more wonderful qualities. Much different than living from the judgements of cool or sexy, living from these eternal qualities of being will produce just what each of us are looking for on a deeper level and will make what we individually strive for more rewarding and probable.

Your strengths are the great qualities within you. Know they exist, nurture them and engage your life from them.