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Off key X-rated Wembley horror show – Arsenal 3 Man City 0

Manchester City obviously confused the Community Shield with the X-Factor auditions taking place alongside Wembley Stadium.

The slapstick defending by the Champions of England would have earned four big fat Xs from Simon Cowell and his fellow judges…sending Manuel Pellegrini’s team on their way as chronic under achievers, who should never have been allowed up on the stage.

X-Rated – City wouldn’t have passed muster with Simon Cowell and the X Factor judges at Wembley.

But as always, perspective is required when analysing what is widely regarded as a ‘warm up’ game, albeit one with a trophy, prestige and early season bragging rights at stake.

Amid Arsene Wenger’s perpetual whinging about everything and anything associated with Manchester City, you could never call this fixture a friendly.

That said, City could hardly have been more accommodating to an accomplished and polished Arsenal.

No defence – Dedryk Boyata and City were in generous mood with the Gunners. Courtesy @MCFC

With more than eight first teamers missing from City’s starting XI, Pellegrini had more excuses than there were giddy Gooners in the 71,523 crowd, who celebrated as if the North Londoners had won the World Cup, Champions League and Premier League, all at the same time.

Sarcasm aside, Arsenal were by far the better side on the day and thoroughly deserving of the win. The Gunners were as brilliant as City were abject.

If a City team and subs bench stacked with the likes of Hart, Zabaleta, Kompany, Demichelis, Fernandinho, Silva, Lampard, Aguero, Sagna and new signing Eliaquim Mangala, start their Premier League defence with wins over Newcastle, Liverpool and Stoke, these Wembley woes will soon be forgotten.

Solace was sought by the 20,000+ travelling City fans in the fact that the winners of the Community Shield invariably fail to go on to lift the Premier League title in the same season.

Despite the world, his wife and their dog (no disrespect cat lovers) knowing that the Community Shield matters not a jot in the grand scheme of English football, it was City’s pathetic capitulation on the day that had the hackles rising.

Chronic travel difficulties caused by severe rail disruption from Manchester to London, were compounded by the tail end of Hurricane Bertha wagging its way across the country.

It undoubtedly contributed to a below par turnout from the travelling City support. For those who took to coaches and cars, slushed through driving rain and appalling motorway monsoons there was to be no pot of gold at the end of the Wembley Arch rainbow.

Bring me sunshine – it never arrived for City’s subdued fans at the Community Shield. Courtesy @MCFC

The sun shone brightly for the majority of the 90 minutes, but beneath the bright blue August skies all the City fans had to focus on was a right old shower.

Nobody, but nobody, has been or is a bigger advocate of Manuel Pellegrini than I. He will become City’s most successful ever manager during the next two years of his contract and possibly beyond, but both he and the players let the fans down with this farcical showing.

If the Community Shield is truly an irrelevance then why not say so and save thousands of loyal supporters the time, effort and expense of going to watch?

Wembley woe but always, but always #TrustOurMP. Courtesy@MCFC

It isn’t sour grapes, it’s just bloody irritating.

If the players, who are being paid to turn out, can’t be arsed, who in their right minds should expect the paying supporters to give a flying wotsit?

To quote one of Manchester City’s finest – none other than Noel Gallagher – it was one of those occasions when Yaya Toure turned out, set up his deck chair in the centre circle and mucked around on his iPad. He may as well have done, such was his contribution.

Decked out in blue – Stand in skipper Yaya may as well have brought his deck chair and iPad. Courtesy@MCFC

He couldn’t even conjure up a consolation goal so the witty travelling fans could serenade him with a sarcastic chorus of ‘Happy Birthday to you…’

There’s no point in dissecting each and every individual performance but City’s ramshackle defence warrants a special mention. My sage like Dad – God rest him – had a very apt turn of phrase that would apply to Messrs Caballero, Clichy, Kolarov, Boyata and Nastasic: ‘They’re like my backside…best kept out of sight!’

Is that overly harsh? Maybe. There’ll be howls of dismissive derision about the display and 3-0 defeat, but equally, a vociferous lobby pointing out that the real business starts on Tyneside.

Whilst undeniably true, it shouldn’t prevent the disdain for City’s shortcomings being expressed. City’s gravy train riders need to be disembarking before September 1.

Calm before the storm – City and Arsenal line up for the Community Shield encounter. Courtesy@MCFC

Boyata and Nastasic are easy targets such was their chronic ineptitude, and yet it is the woeful young Belgian who has a new two year contract while Nasty heads for the Etihad exit.

Young Dedryk displayed great promise when Roberto Mancini thrust him into the red hot cauldron of League Cup semi finals against Manchester United in 2010/11.

He looked a real prospect, but sadly Boyata has gone backwards in his levels of performance. The same applies to ‘Nasty’ the 20-year old Serbian who joined from Fiorentina in 2011.

He could still have what it takes, but a £15m move back to Serie A looks increasingly likely this summer.

Another fallen idol, Micah Richards is also odds on to go after one of the most promising City careers went into rapid reverse, following the 2012 title triumph.

A litany of injuries, disproportionate muscle bulk and a lack of mobility seem to have conspired to thwart the hugely likeable Micah, a product of City’ s much vaunted Academy.

It’s rumoured that Micah once said he wanted to be the best defender in England. The retort from one of the most decorated of players at City was: “If that’s the case why are you the last one on and first one off the training ground?”

At 3-0 down – when it could so easily have been six – Richards took on the Captain’s armband as a76th minute substitute, merely adding to the surreal experience.

Torrid time – Gael Clichy and his team mates had a tough afternoon against a rampant Ramsey and the Gunners. Courtesy @MCFC

It was suggested Micah had come on in case City could miraculously pull it back to 3-3 and take it to penalties. Rumour has it that the City right back’s last spot kick – against Olympiacos – is still being tracked by NASA satellites.

Undeniably a popular individual at the Etihad, Richards’ time is up. The arrival of Bacary Sagna confirmed as such.

Out of this world – Micah’s last penalty is still being tracked by NASA satellites.

Notwithstanding the need for a home-grown balance, City would do well to sell Micah, Scott Sinclair and John Guidetti this month, possibly pulling in £12m-£15m.

City had an encouraging tour of the USA with Stevan Jovetic looking a real prospect for 2014/15. He and City’s strike force will only be as good as their supply lines and there remains a feeling that an Isco or DiMaria would reinforce the creativity of the side.

Such a signing is improbable, but financially it could still be possible if the deadwood is chopped out of the squad.

Arsenal’s two first half goals owed much to the zip of their marauding midfield which scythed through City’s blancmange of a defence, Cazorla and Ramsey expertly finishing past an exposed Willy Caballero.

Giroud’s 25-yard dipping strike on the hour, found Caballero not really knowing if he was having a sh*t shave or a haircut (!)as the Argentine keeper was left flapping at thin air. Game over, 3-0 and City desperate to avoid further embarrassment.

No divine intervention – Navas and the City midfield were steam rollered by Ramsey and the Arsenal. Courtesy@MCFC

A happy Whinger could lay claim to an FA Cup & Community Shield double, while Pellegrini sets out his stall out to retain the PL title, progress deep into the knockout stages of the Champions League and pick up one or two domestic cups.

City were outplayed on the day, but for all for the Gunner’s bluster and bravado I’d rather be an Etihad than an Emirates dweller for the seasons that lie ahead.

Up ended – Kolarov loses his footing as City lost their grip on the Community Shield. Courtesy@MCFC

The final note has to go to an Arsenal boy band from ‘Norf Larndan’ who, spotting yours truly in a Man City ‘Champions 14’ shirt at Wembley Central decided to ‘harmonise’ ‘You’re the Spurs of Manchester , you’re the Spurs of Manchester…’ repeat to fade. A puny attempt to insult the best team in all the land and all the world.

Singing in the key of ‘off major’, the four-strong troupe must have been told they’d go far by the X Factor judges…New Zealand perhaps!

What a din – Arsenal fans were making alot of noise but who will be cheering loudest come May 2015?

For once I’d be in agreement with Simon Cowell. So much for Community spirit.

53 Comments

Whilst I agree that it must have been an incredibly frustrating day for the fans that braved the weather, transport chaos and tube trains full of London glory hunters to actually attend this one, I have to say that over all, I ain't bothered!

Let's face it, such is the herd-mentality hatred that has sprung up (inspired by Monsieur Vinegar), Arsenal were always going to view this as a bust-a-gut to get one over on the "oil mercenaries" that upset their eternal place in the top two of English football. Suspect MP realised this, hence the shop window appearances of Sinclair, Nastasic (not sure Arsenal will be all that keen after Sunday!) and Richards.

I would much rather we kept our powder dry until the serious business begins next Sunday, and let the giddy gunners enjoy their moment of pyrrhic glory. This trophy means almost nothing unless your name is David Moyes, and hopefully it will make the Goons over confident.

Sorry to anyone that forked out their hard-earned on a stinker of a day, but let's concentrate on the proper football!

Broadly in agreement with you No 5 - perspective is all important and the faith in MP has obviously never wavered. But as one who did make the effort it was nonetheless galling to see players who seemingly didn't give a monkey's chuff about providing an acceptable level of effort, commitment and skill on the day. Let's see how the season pans out - judging bycomments already filtering through, they believe they are the real deal already.

Pity you couldn't sell your end out though you fake big club.?what comes around goes around remember that before getting to excited you northern oilers you .naughty little boys usually get their come upance eventually.keep wearing towels round your big heads and enjoy until your owners look for another toy.

Enjoy your well deserved Community Shield and keep it shiny along with the FA Cup before you surrender the latter in January, prior to your usual Premier League implosion around February time. Word to the wise, DON'T OVER INVEST IN SILVER CLEANING CLOTHS - they'll only go to waste.

At least it would be our own money to invest.not bought for us with Middle East pocket money?you lot must feel like a bought women flicking you lashes at a repulsive old sugar daddy.have fun whilst it lasts

Well after a long day and best part £300 I have to agree David ..at least say it's a training session and I could have stayed in the pub but I am still happy with our lot and hopefully we can put this to bed with a win against the toons.

Oh don't you be worrying yourself, we're having a ball and rest assured it WILL last. No, you go enjoy yourself with your perverse US-Russian combination with the guy from the 'Krankies' and the oligarch. I don't know your definition of old - in fairness you may well be a child - but Sheikh Mansour is 43-years of age.

Enos Stanley Kroenke is 67-years old I believe, whereas Alisher Usmanov is a sprightly 60.

August 12, 2014 7:30 pmby Dave

Replys at end of season please,notice we don't have any of those daft FFPs hanging over us though as our club is run as a club not a toy.the strange ogliagarth has been refused membership to our board but has acquired shares of thirty per cent as you are probably aware.do you have share issues? No because if you sugar daddy leaves you will be in the mire so as I say enjoy your moments.would love to talk to you at end of season when you win everything.you have my email so keep in touch and maybe we could meet up when we play third game in I think.i will be there give me the heads up if you want and are that confident.dave

By all means keep in touch Dave and certainly we could and should meet up at either the Emirates or the Etihad when our teams meet. It's good to have these exchanges, if we didn't feel passionately about our respective clubs it wouldn't be worth bothering with would it? Obviously you are being sarcastic about when City 'win everything' because we both know that is extremely unlikely to happen, but yes, I genuinely believe we can retain the title for the first time in our history. If we do win it again, it will have been in the face of adversity with, as you rightly put it, those 'daft FFPs' hanging over us. In what other line of business would a governing body seek to exclude a business from gaining new investment and prospeering in a free market? They are DAFT in the extreme.

Once again thanks for reading and commenting. I much prefer it to not being read and not provoking a reaction.

loads of crap!!!!......man city got there ass whooped and your making meaningless excuses for them??...aguero is out of form(as u can see at the world cup),am nt sure if he did av influenced the game at all.....as for demichelis,we both know had he been in the team,it would av been 4-0...cuz am expecting him to give away a penalty as usual....zabaleta aside,i dnt see what difference man city would av made even if there world cup boiz were back.....we are not with our germans...imagine what ozil would av done with sanchez in the team...or the speedy walcott...even without mertersacker.....man city couldn't score....nt forgetin podolski....I REST MY CASE!!!!....u lost....deal with it!!!

We've already dealt with it and will be dealing with what the grown ups call the BIG games starting next Sunday. Arsenal deserved to win I didn't read too many excuses in the match review. I would however appreciate it if you could get back to me around Easter 2015 with a whopping great list of excuses as to why Arsenal are off the pace at the top of the league - as per usual. Thanks for reading.

Wenger only talked about the Lumpard 'deal' because some tw4t masquerading as a sports journo asked him for his view on the Mansours' club group structure. Wenger has always been far too accommodating to the British media who then serve what he says to his peer managers; if only he told some of them to fcuk off but it's not his style.

Not sure about the 'spu[d]s of Manchester' jibe, though. Oh, props to your old man for the 'backside' quip; ribald quality.

Thanks for the feedback Paul, although I don't believe Arsene needs too much encouragement to spake forth on MCFC. Thanks for the credit to my dear departed Dad - does your presumed surname have anything to do with your appreciation of his self deprecating wit?

We all know what happened to the team that won this Friendly last season, with the press and Media cudgeling us with talk of this is just the start the hoards of Silverware are on their way. "The chosen one" always think of this when in need of a laugh.

No knee jerk reactions from me on this game, just a kick about IMHO I think the players thought the same, well the City players anyway.The Home team had the advantage all their players have a group stage game next week so are already hitting their peak.Them playing our second team and winning they have the League sewn up already you'd think.

First well done Arsenal totally deserved the win better team by a mile. Lot of city fans telling me it doesn't matter its only a friendly etc etc well it does matter. Try telling the poor souls tbat got up in the early hrs & made the trip & spent the money it bloody well does matter getting beat I can take but the performance was awful a real slap in the face from the manager & the players to the fans. Its only the Community Shield I keep getting told well whats better to be a winner or a loser I know what I prefer. Only saving grace we had 7 or 8 first teamers out but thats no excuse for that pathetic dross served up by the team.MP & THE TEAM YOU OWE US THE FANS BIG TIME.

With you on that Doug. If a job's worth doing it's worth doing properly so, if a match is worth playing it's worth giving your all to win the bloody thing. City patently didn't do that. But we move on...

WIll keep it brief - even allowing for the "second" team players that was lacklustre and Arsenal appeared a few games in front of us in terms of ore season preparation. Will excuse Kolarov, Silva and Jovetic from the above, they at least added a spark or two,Enough said, it was dire

Let's get it in perspective, lads.1. Arsenal did play well so let's be magnanimous enough to congratulate them.2. The makeshift City XI could not give them a game. Clichy, playing on the wrong side and he's bad enough at crossing with his left; Boyata, who has constantly disimproved since his promising debut; Nastasic, good but looks a bit bewildered at the minute (playing alongside Boyata can't help) are not 3/4 of a Premiership defence. Zabaleta/Kolarov/Demichelis (Mangala) will be a different prospect.3. The Arsenal fan who dissed Martin Demichelis is a total idiot. He obviously didn't see him in the second half of last season.4. Arsenal fans, usually pretty civilised compared to arrogant Chesea, delusional Spurs and National Front/W Ham fans, did themselves no favours with the crass and tasteless booing of Samir. At this stage they should let it drop.5. The Community Shield counts for less than the cube root of sod all in the footballing year, so they are welcome to it.6. All that said, Pellegrini - and I am one of his biggest admirers - is starting to mystify me a bit. I can't see why he should give game time to Boyata, Sinclair and Richards who, surely, will not feature in the coming season.

On Sunday our 20,000 fans spent longer traveling to and from the game, than the first team did flying back from the USA. They deserved better, certainly the memory of ‘Gentleman Joe’ did! For many the cost represented a large chunk of disposable income!!

Perhaps Pellegrini thought it best to keep his selection against for the opener up his sleeve? If so he was wrong. Our starting line-up against Newcastle should have been on the pitch for at least for the second half, even if nothing more than a pipe opener.

Instead and despite tear arsing around Scotland (home to millions of City fans!) and the USA, City start 2014-15 having had no preseason!

There is something particularly nauseous about a lot of Arsenal fans like the rags and the Norwegian woodheads down the east lancs the sense of entitlement is staggering and they have enough chips on their shoulders to feed a family of 12 !! Lets hope yesterday is a blip and City are back on blob come Sunday, very few if any positives from yesterday but it was the first match since Barcelona at home that city have failed to score , so no shouting for the managers head just yet, unlike a set of "London loyals" who were doing just that after their first match a home to villa last seaon ? Very small brains produce short memories i suppose! !

Very good point, very well made GB. The 'P' word is paramount - perspective and.come to think of it Pellegrini. He's the best manager we've had in many a time and it'll be a cold day in hell before I readily call for his head. I think we'll retain the PL this year...it just happened to be bloody annoying yesterday.

I've not read your blog before. A few pointsWhy shouldn't all those fans celebrate winning? If you'd won your fans would have celebrated. Your second string team team cost more than the team we put out. It says a lot about your spending power compared to ours but also how much you spend on average players. If pellegrini can be your most successful manager in three years it says a lot about your history. I don't know which gooners you speak to but I don't know any that think we'll win the league. We'll just be better than we were last season. If i paid money to see my team not give a shit about a game I'd be pissed off. A lot of people used to have a soft spot for City but you've become like Chelsea. Chelsea will win the league. You weren't that much better than them last season and they've bought better players than you have.

Not for one moment did I suggest the Arsenal fans shouldn't celebrate - of course they should, you won and won well. That said, you really should get to know some of your fan base as there were plenty of Gunners spouting how they were 'Coming for City' and how you would indeed be champions.

The money and the history arguments are getting a bit tired now. City have not won nearly as many honours as Arsenal over the years but it's interesting that you, like Manure and Liverpool fans, choose to measure history by the number of trophies won. We have a rich and proud history - a lot of it in the face of adversity. I wonder how Arsenal's fan base would have held up in the third tier of English football?

As for the money, well it's interesting that your self righteous manager is now spending money on major signings after the abject failure of his ideological blueprint of cultivating youth fell flat on its backside. Keep an eye on the Etihad Campus and we'll show you how it should be done in the future.

Part of the point of the blog is to say that the travelling City fans were indeed pissed off at a lacklustre performance, but we retain a perspective as we are now experiencing good times after decades of comparative hardship. But those days of away trips to Lincoln, Wycombe and York were indicative of the spirit and soul on which our club survived and now prospers.

We never asked for people to have a 'soft spot' for us, we didn't want sympathy or pity. We're no different in that we want to be winners and, if the rest of the world can't take 'liddle old Citeh' ruffling up the Premier League cartel - tough.

Will you be backing Jose and Cesc with your hard earned? I do hope so. The definition of being Champions is that you only have to be that little bit better than the rest - a feat a club with 'no history' has achieved twice in the last three years. You know, I might have a flutter on three times in four.

Thanks Andy, very generous of you. The banter with the comments can be a bit of fun, especially with opposition fans. Some feedback is well measured and genuine,but alas not in all instances. I should however sometimes heed the advice of my beloved, but now sadly departed Dad, who said to me: "Just remember David, as you go through life...nobody loves a smart arse!"

I am sometimes in danger of falling into the aforementioned category. Nonetheless, it's my blog...and I'll do what I want ;-)

After yesterday's offerings, I am conflicted. Part of me wants to be very critical over such an abject shambles of a performance and part of me is not bothered, in the fact the game has no consequence come May 24th.

As for individual performances (Or lack thereof) I think we can all agree that Boyata shouldn't and probably won't see much first team action this season as he is so poor he actually dragged Nastasic down with him yesterday. Nastasic however should be kept. We've seen what he is capable of when alongside Kompany and he's young enough to reach that level again given an injury free run of games if called upon. Micah Richards for all the love and affection he elicits would be better moving on. As much as he'll be missed, there should be no sentiment.

If we are all thinking the same thoughts as we did yesterday come next Sunday evening then I expect questions will be asked but until then (In your words) Trust Our MP

I go on various blogs national and local and there are plenty of gooners talking of league titles i can assure you. I actually did not bother going yesterday, i suspected that city would be without at least the argue trio and kompany several weeks ago and was not at all surprised at yesterdays inept display even if the level of ineptness was quite alarming. Chelsea lost the league last year basically because Maureen bottled it and is under severe pressure for probably the first time in his career? Our manager remains cool calm and collected at all times whilst others make snide remarks at every opportunity !! Last seasons title was a triumph for substance over style but Pellegrini was given very little credit outside Manchester m11 , his achievement was all the more remarkable given it was his first season in English football but as we all know in the bitter myopic world of football fandom and punditry, when was anything ever proved with cold hard facts and logic.

MP was never, until City's title triumph was virtually assured, given credit by the mass media who were gutted that the Liverpool love in slipped on it's arse - literally and metaphorically - and the Maureen rennaissance was found lacking when snide and sneery didn't cut it with the cool Chilean.

It's soooooooo entertaining when City just continue to confound their critics as they will again, again and again.

Nice to have you back David , well summed up and me & my 7 year old were one of the ones to brave the trip , my son summed it up perfectly at half time , "I want to go home now Dad! " ..Being a father has its testing moments , bit like being a City fan really , but its worth it in the end , Needless to say we stayed and hoped that something would spark us into life and Little Merlin looked to be just the tonic until Wally flapped at the third , i would like to think Big Joe would have tipped that one over ( and Hart aswell ) . I would like to think that MP used this game to make a final assessment on Boyata and Nastasic, now he has the answers , I agree both can move on for me , regards Micah , I would have preferred him at right back to watching Clichy playing like he had a patch over his right eye. I agree with your assessment totally about ins and outs and who we could bring in , you know what I think of ISCO and a deadline day loan is the best we can hope for , unfortunately our home grown quota is upto the required number so to lose any from those means like for like so I just can't anymore dramatic changes to the squad , Fernano looks an upgrade on Garcia and the invisible man has finally arrived so the CB position is covered. Guidetti looks to be on his way so you just never know MP might have something up his sleeve, I do think we need it when you consider Aguero and Jovetics injuries of late , though the latter looks the part at last and should have a good season . Better to get that kick up the arse now than at St James at the weekend . The defence begins now !! Lets hope the one that started at the weekend is never to be seen again .

Agree on all points Simon. I was deluded enough to think we might rally in the second half but, alas, no. It wasn't so much the defeat it was the manner and the fact that we had literally NOTHING, SWEET FA (not Football Association) to cheer. Like many, I've been to Wembley to watch City 7 times in the last 3 years and I could never have envisaged the 'novelty' wearing off....until Sunday.

Hopefully we'll contest the Community Shield every damn season as Champions or, at a push FA Cup winners, but I would question the time, effort and expense of attending in the future.

If it's one fixture the moneymen want to hawk off around the world to profile the Premier League and the clubs involved then maybe. The only caveat would be don't play it a week before the PL gets underway leaving City's players jet lagged.

Thanks for replyingFirstly, I don't begrudge your success. As a nuetral I cheered when Aguero scored the winner against QPR. I was also glad you won it last season. Since I doubt it will be us you can have it this season. I'd have you over the chavs or the other mancs anytime. As for a failed youth policy and buying big. Wenger has bought relatively big in the past and has started buying big now. We built a stadium from scratch and with his failed youth policy and watching our best players leave every season he still managed to keep us in the champions league. Wenger has spent less than the likes of Aston Villa and liverpool over the last ten years.