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For The Boys…

Flitting about over the weekend, I run into a younger reader of the male persuasion. I also run into an old, married one. While we wait for coffee and chat outside, young one says he’s grateful for the insight into the chicks, but could he get some solid advice? On?

He says, “Please don’t write about me.” Oh little one no one will know it’s you. You’re way too adorable for anybody to think you might worry. Promise. His concern is keeping his “sort of” girlfriend happy. And making her his actual girlfriend. I remind him it’s been three and a half years since my husband dropped dead and I’ve yet to date. No matter—he’s seeking knowledge from anything living and breathing without a penis.

Therein might be the problem boys, both older and younger. Why ask me? Why not ask her? I can only give you the generals—the go-to’s that ought be in every guy’s quiver if he wants to keep a girl interested, yes, interested in the way you want her to be. Duh.

Call her. Texting will never substitute for a phone call. You want her to be interested in you? Be interested in her. There are still girls; this old one included, who believe, “I’m the chick. You’re the guy. Your move.” Evidently this changed over my twenty-seven years of marriage. I also remind my young friend—if you slept with her, follow up. What if you don’t want to? Make that deal before you sleep with her. She’s probably not as sensitive as you think.

Same goes for my married guys. I know you’ve been with the same woman for a hundred years and your list of what’s not the same as in the beginning is long and varied depending on the day. Did you stop to think hers might be too? Most likely, you’ve got a bigger tummy, less hair and way fewer moves than what originally caught her in your web, non?

Step up your game sirs. When she crosses your mind, call her. Take the five seconds to say, “Hey I was just thinking about you.” You’ve been married a long time, she’ll probably ask if you’re feeling all right but roll with it. “No, seriously, baby, I was just thinking about you and wanted to let you know. See you later.” There, two minutes tops and who knows what might be waiting at home?

The boys make me wonder—is there a resource for them? I scour around and find a site called Made Man. It’s filled with all kinds of fun stuff including style—yes, its true—clean yourself up and you’ll get more. It’s just a fact. “How to Be More Attractive,” Cooking, Tech and Gear and short films called “Re-Education of Man.” There’s also stuff more “guy-like” as well.

Example? You asked. “Hands Free: My Month Without Wanking,” and “Nude Calendar Girls Restored to Facebook.” It is a guy’s site after all. Girls, you may to visit for insight. As for my coffee guys? Every chick is different my friends. But there isn’t a one that not paying attention works on. Ever.