DUI Don’t — A Tale of Court and Paying for my Sins

Since this post was featured on The Consumerist today, I’ve received a lot of hate mail & comments regarding my DUI. Many of you say that I clearly don’t feel sorry for driving drunk, I only feel sorry for getting caught. The truth of the matter is — I feel stupid for driving drunk. I’m the same girl who got angry in high school drivers ed when 90% of the class was about drunk driving because I didn’t touch alcohol until I was 21, and most of the other kids in my class drank on a regular basis. I never thought that I would end up with a DUI.

I do not think I would have hurt anyone that night given I wasn’t driving erratically any more than other times when I was exhausted or distracted while driving (fact is I wasn’t stopped for driving, I was parked at the time I was approached by the cop) — but I can’t know what the outcome would have been. The reason I’m glad I was arrested that night is because that night or another night, who knows when, I could have been in a worse state and got behind the wheel. I could have hurt someone… I could have killed someone.

I drink maybe once or twice a year, and it’s easy to forget just how intoxicated one gets when you are not used to alcohol or what it does to you. Do I feel upset about being caught? Sure. It sucks to be caught. It sucks to have to spend time in jail, be a criminal, and pay massive fines. But I needed a wake up call, and ultimately I’m thankful to have gotten one.

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Original post:

Don’t ever get a DUI… and don’t ever get a DUI in Santa Clara County, is what I learned this week. Any DUI lawyer will tell you that it’s tough to fight a DUI charge if your BAC was higher than .08%, regardless of whether you were lawfully arrested, but they all get your hopes up a little bit so you hire them to represent you in court.

Just a quick reminder of how I was arrested… someone called 911 on me because i was “wobbling” walking to my car (wearing high heels, mind you). I had about three glasses of wine, and stopped drinking at 9:30pm, and didn’t get into my car until midnight. Apparently I’m one heck of a lightweight. I drove around the corner and pulled over, realizing that I shouldn’t be driving. Just my luck a cop party was happening across the street, waiting to catch people leaving the bars. I was parked, a cop walked up to my car and knocked on my door, asked me to step out, and eventually arrested me for BAC of .12%, which later at the station was .10%, still well over the legal limit. I completely take responsibility for this stupidity and am clearly guilty, yet the reason I was arrested (because some woman decided I seemed drunk because I was wobbling in my high heels) is still bothersome. Granted, I was, so ok, I deserve whatever was coming to me.

When I got my DUI, I wasn’t in the mood to shop around for the best lawyer or one with the best price. I asked my friend who I knew had a DUI before for advice, and she pointed me to the lawyer I ended up with, who was a “friend of her family,” for what that’s worth. He seemed to know what he was talking about, and for $3,000 I could have his full representation in court both for my DUI and also for a traffic ticket that I needed to fight due to the DUI. $3,000 was a lot, but if it meant I might be able to fight the DUI, it was worth it — wasn’t it?

I’m not sure what other DUI lawyers charge, or if $3,000 is reasonable. He supposedly gave me a friends and family discount, and it would have been more like $5k had I not known someone who knew him. He did attend most of the in person hearings and such for me, which meant I didn’t have to take time off of work, so it was definitely worth having a lawyer through the process. However, when it was time to go to the real pre-trial hearing, the DA just looked at the evidence, and got into a bit of a fight with my lawyer. I have no idea if his behavior influenced the DA’s decision (I like to think not), but I was upset in how dramatic the whole situation was. I had to be in the court, behind the main area by the DA, where the lawyers were. The DA, who was probably around my age or a little older, didn’t even look at any of the suspects in the pews, he just read over the evidence and in a few seconds made a decision.

The hope was to get the sentence reduced to a Wet Reckless plea, which would cut the fine in half from $2k to $1k, and remove the volunteer SWAP duty/jail time requirements. There was also an option to file a motion to dismiss based on unlawful arrest if the DA didn’t offer this.

So the DA didn’t offer this. He basically said he gave me 5 days of SWAP (volunteer work) which was more than he had to, if I would plea guilty or no contest. I could have followed up with the motion to dismiss, but after thinking it over, that didn’t make sense at all. If I got lucky, the evidence could have been thrown out and I could be a “free” woman, minus the $3k in attorney fees. But there was also a just as good… well, even better chance that things would get worse for me. They couldn’t get that much worse, but they could have added many more days of SWAP time, or decided to put me in jail.

Worse, though, was how filing a motion to dimiss would require more missed days of work — which just wasn’t worth it given the chances of actually getting a better result. So I gave in, and just pleaded no contest. I owe $2,000 — which they let me pay in $75 / a month increments — for a while now, plus I have 2.5 weekends of SWAP duty in January, I lose my license for a month and have a restricted license for 5 months, I have to go to a 3 month DUI school, my insurance rates are going to skyrocket upon renewal in August for at least 3 years, I’m a convicted criminal, I have 3 years of probation where if I get caught with any alcohol in my blood while driving (even .0000001%) I will get another DUI, and it will cost me another $1k+ to have the DUI expunged from my record in three years. The whole situation, I guesstimate, is costing me $10k. It sucks.

Lesson learned, if I’m going to drink at all, just don’t plan on driving. Or don’t drink. My lawyer says in most other counties in the San Francisco Bay Area the court isn’t quite as hard on DUI’s (with the exception of Napa county). He even recommended that I take jail time instead of SWAP since it would be “1 day” of jail vs 5 days of SWAP, and I might not even serve the full day to overcrowding, but the judge said it doesn’t work that way in Santa Clara County. I didn’t matter at all in the entire situation, I was just a couple of pages of evidence and a blood alcohol percentage number. And I didn’t have a chance. I really didn’t have a chance. That’s what upsets me most — is how my lawyer made me think otherwise, how he gave me hope. There really wasn’t any hope. I might have been better off just getting a public defender and pleading guilty. In the end, the result probably wouldn’t have been any worse. And I would have saved a few thousand dollars.

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50 comments

You self righteous idiots make me sick. Most of you probably have done the same thing. This system is here to make money and ruin people’s lives. People who are committed to drinking will do it regardless the penalty. I’m just glad I had the opportunity to realize I had a problem and can’t drink AT ALL! But should my life be continuously F***** for the rest of my life now! I’ll move on, and im way better off after getting pulled over. Nobody got hurt, nothing got damaged, and I’m able to fix myself. That’s more than we can say about the likes of Emma or this Cube Ninja idiot, they will never know the joy of self improvement, my guess is they think they are perfect… Which gives me a good laugh

Yes, that is BS…you had not driven. You make decisions..right? Like you could have decided not to drive and call someone. I mean he could have offered to be a “public servant” and have you call someone to pick you up. You had not started driving. You by definition it is called what…people? DRIVING U I…

The officer had options too ok? Like be a human being and help you get a cab BEFORE you made a mistake.

Thank you so much for sharing. I hired a lawyer for $3,500. He found that my blood was obtained improperly and I kept my license without suspension. However, he recommended I plea guilty to the prosecutors offer of a reckless driving charge. I was pulled over for a wide left turn, passed the sobriety tests, and had a .09 BAC. I don't drink and drive. In fact, I am the sober designated driver. I live in a college town and you can imagine how busy I am on the weekends. I paid my dues and learned from the lesson, which I prove every time I go downtown, hang out in the bars, not drink, and drive my drunk friends to safety. I am absolutely sick of some of these people that commented on here. They act like saints and try to crucify you–something people often do when hiding behind a computer screen. What bothers me the most–my state won't allow my record to be sealed. Something is incredibly wrong with the system if I fulfill the courts requirements for punishment yet have to explain it every single time I apply for a job even 50 years from now. I don't want to be judged for the rest of my life for this. No matter how much I do to live a good life, I will forever be labelled as criminal. In sum, I don't believe I deserve a life sentence for a wide left turn and having a .09 BAC. I understand you play with fire, you'll get burned. I don't understand why the fire can never be extinguished.

Thanks for the information on the expungement, and not needing a lawyer for that. There is a whole business of lawyers preying on naive DUI suspects. My $3k would have been better spent on my fine and increased insurance premiums, and deep down, I knew I didn't have a fighting chance to win this — but lawyers play tricks with your mind, tell you about their succes stories. They're great actors too — my lawyer put on quite the show in the court room, I imagine, to make me think he was providing value, but in reality, I should have just got with a public defender, or "cheap" private lawyer to plead guilty up front. I can't imagine my punishment would have been much worse — I could have had more days of SWAP, that's about the only thing the judge could have decided to give me that would have been more than what I got.

I went through a similar situation about ten years ago (in Los Angeles). I was fortunate to have the charges pleaded down to a wet reckless, but as you mention, the only good it does its lower the penalties. Any law enforcement agency who looks at someone's record and sees "wet reckless" knows its a DUI.

Like you, I got a "Friends and Family" discount referral to a "good lawyer which cost me $2500… figure ten years of inflation, about the same.

I don't know who told you it would be $1k to get an expungement… this is one of those things you see all kinds of ads offering "expulsion for cheap", their basically scams. Sure, if you don't want to make the trip to court to submit the paperwork, pay someone a ridiculous sum of change to do it for you. In reality, it's easy to do it yourself… for only $60. Fill out the form, give it to the court, about 3 weeks later you'll get it back with the court seal. In case you aren't aware, expulsion only applies for public purposes (applying for a job with a public company). It's still on your record for government matters. Two years ago, I applied to get a pass for the program where US citizens who do significant foreign travel that expedites going through Customs and Integrations on return to the US. I was denied for only one reason… having the wet reckless on my record. I don't know why that's the case.. I never lost the right to re-enter my own country after traveling abroad, this was simply to make it easier. I've heard US citizens are often denied entry into Canada because a misdemeanor DUI is the US translates to a far more serious charge in that country. Something everyone should know.. it'll stick with you for life for things you'd never think.

I have to say until you have taken your alcohol classes and learn that in the 7-10 years your DUI is counted more than 75% get a second you are living in the dark. There is no expunging it. Using money as a reason to not get a DUI proves how in the dark you are. You only drink 1-2 times a year. Then 1 or 2 glasses of wine you are aware of the effects of the alcohol. You over paid for the lawyer and you are convicted of a misdemeanor. Please stop the sob story.

Emma — clearly the lesson learned about "Don't get a DUI" is "don't drink and drive." I'm not saying people should just go out and drink and try not to get caught. Clearly drinking makes you drunk — what isn't as clear is how long it takes for a drink to leave your system (it's different for everyone) and also exactly what size of glass the host is serving — you may think you've had 2.5 glasses of wine, but it turns out those were really big "filled up too much" glasses. Yes, it's fair to say I should know better — I should — but that doesn't change the fact that I didn't. And to be perfectly honest in my life I've seen many of my friends, coworkers, acquaintances, strangers, get behind the wheel after the same amount of alcohol or more alcohol. It happens all the time. And most people don't get caught. The naive, those of us who aren't alcoholics but instead just make a stupid mistake, are the ones that usually do.

Still, I made this mistake (in thinking I was sober when I was not after 3 hours in between drinks), and the point of my blog is to be honest about the various ups and downs of life. This was obviously a down.

The lesson learned was "don't ever get a DUI"? Are you serious? I read this and my first thought was that it was meant to be an ironic spoof about self-entitlement. But it's real and you're willing to put this out there. Crazy.

Someone saw you wobbling because you WERE drunk! Both your admission of "about" 3 glasses (you can't remember how many glasses you drank and blew a .12!) I'm glad they called the cops when they saw you totter into your car and drive. I'd have done the same thing. Your lesson learned was not "thank God I did not kill a family, someone's mother or beloved child" ? And why should the judge have "actually looked at" the drunk drivers sitting in the court? Why on earth would it matter what you looked like? You drove drunk! Your cute shoes and hairstyle mean nothing! You broke the law and endangered lives – I wouldn't look at you either.

Finally, it's not "easy to forget" that alcohol makes you drunk, or that drunks shouldn't drive! What planet do you live on?

This is appallingly and unnecessarily nasty. In fact when I read your response, my first thought was that it was meant to be an ironic spoof about judgmental self-righteousness. But it’s real, and you’re willing to put this out there. Nauseating.

You don’t know this girl. You don’t know anything about her except that she got a DUI. Yet you have condemned her to some black-and-white label that you seem to believe is fit for only the absolute worst filth of the Earth (or whatever planet you believe her to be from).

You wonder why the judge should have looked at her? Because that is a judge’s job. You apparently see her as less than person because she drove drunk. Your belittlement of her is such that you “wouldn’t look at [her] either.” What a truly inhuman thing to say.

I recently served as a juror on a DUI case. I thought I would not be selected for the jury because I have a relative who got a DUI. But when I got to the courtroom, nearly everyone there either knew someone with a DUI or had one themselves. The point is, someone in your life probably has a DUI too. If they told you (though I doubt they would, given your attitude) would you talk to them in this manner? Would you treat them as if they were less than human?

Thanks for this post Michelle. We need to stop DUI shaming and discuss the underlying issues of why people are getting DUIs. I was extremely depressed at the time and made a bad choice. I admit I was wrong and have learned my lesson. People who do worse things in life get off easier. But life isn’t meant to be fair. The worst though is how judgmental others are of one bad decision. I’ve forced myself to tell many of my friends and family about my DUI (not my parents though) because this makes me be able to heal and also stop the shaming.

As someone who volunteers as a designated driver, I have to say it isn't that you are necessarily a lightweight, it is just that the one drink per hour rule doesn't always apply. Drinks aren't made to the state's definition of what one drink is in terms of potency or how many ounces are in a glass. People should never follow the one drink per hour rule and think that they are safe or not too drunk to drive.

You are right though… if you are going to drink, don't drive. There are so many alternatives…. drink walking distance from home, drink at home, take a cab, jump on light rail, or recruit a designated driver. I love this role because most places give me free non-alcoholic drinks all night to hang out with my friends. All I have to do is tip, make sure my friends don't get out of control (with behavior or their drinking otherwise that's going to mean barf in my car) and get them home safely.

This post hit close to home. My DUI wasn't in California, but it was a somewhat similar situation. I drink probably 3-4 times a year, and I had 2 drinks over the course of a basketball game. When I got pulled over, it was at midnight (mistake #1), slow-rolling a stoplight (mistake #2), and pulling into the far lane so I could immediately get onto the highway (mistake #3). I blew a .091. The officer told me (and my dad, who picked me up from the station) that I was a "total gentleman" and he seemed genuinely upset that he had to bust me. He also told me that if I'd waited half an hour more (or drank 1/3rd of a drink less), I'd have been ok.

Of course, I've since found out a lot about DUI's (namely, that .08 isn't a magic number, you can still get a DUI if you're 'impaired' despite being under the legal limit), and I served my suspension, restriction, and attended all the classes and sessions necessary to complete my diversion. Fortunately I live in a state where diversion is possible. And my legal limit is now 0.0%, because I learned my lesson and know just how close to death I could have been (or put someone else).

That said, I don't judge other people now either. My DUI has changed my entire outlook on the legal system now. The reality is that there's TWO types of DUI's — (1) the kind where someone made a mistake (because who carries a breathalyzer in their car?) that they'll never repeat again, and (2) alcoholics or borderline substance abusers who are sorry that they ever got caught.

I'm convinced I fall into the first camp. It doesn't reduce the seriousness of the offense in any way, of course, but it does mean that I've been forever changed by the experience. Fortunately, I didn't forever change someone else for the worse in the process.

Finally someone here that doesn't throw stones or crucify us. I was pulled over for a wide left turn and was at .09 BAC. Fortunately, I had it reduced to reckless driving misdemeanor. Unfortunately, my state doesn't allow for records to be sealed unless you were caught for possessing less than 1 ounce of weed. Basically, if I never drink again, live like a saint, I will NEVER be able to have a clean record. I think I'll have to sell myself to the CIA in return for a second chance at life.

I agree; it's very awkward that a phone call was made. My 2nd, the cop even asked if I needed to take my heels off for the standard test. I knew I was wrong, and being who I am (not withstanding my only two incidents ever in 33 yrs), I told him no and actually told the officer he got me and I was in the wrong. I have always worked, given to charities, and been productive in society. But the stigma of having a deferment of a DUI on my record has prevented me from attaining a job(have worked since I was 15). Some people will tell you or view you as a "completely" irresponsible person. And, heck yes, it is one of the dumbest and horrible things one can be caught to do- but others should know lessons can be learned and, it is a HARD lesson to learn (emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially), but there are a few of us that learn our lessons, pay our debt, and know it will never occur again.

Got the point. I could have killed someone. I also could have killed someone when I drove one day on not enough sleep and I almost fell asleep on the road.

Yes, the glasses of wine were probably larger than 4oz. They were served at a happy hour type event that a company was throwing, and those events usually offer lots of booze and not enough food to go with it. I wasn't paying attention, I was nervous at the event that I attended alone and drank to try to be social. It was stupid given that I knew I would need to drive home at some point. I figured I'd just wait until I sobered up. I didn't realize how long that would take. Now I get it, I won't ever have a sip of alcohol and drive — I'm going to wait 24 hrs after I have a drink to drive. I'm hoping that will be enough.

So basically, you're sorry that you got caught, not that you did something illegal.

Let's just call out the elephant in the room here – by driving drunk, you could have killed another person. Period.

You didn't, and that makes me happy. Your utterly lack of regard or remorse for the act of driving drunk is absolutely disgusting. You're sorry that you got caught and that BOO HOO you had to pay for a lawyer and the lawyer didn't get you out of committing a felony.

Also, if you clocked in at 0.12 roughly three hours after your last drink, I'm guessing that either you weigh about 90 pounds, or your "3 glasses of wine" were each significantly larger than 4 oz.

There's a damn good reason that you aren't seeing an outpouring of sympathy here – you haven't learned a bloody thing and in fact seem to be completely dismissive of even doing anything wrong despite being convicted of a felony. Instead, you blame your shoes. You were "wobbling" because you were drunk and the person who called the police potentially saved a life.

The United States have some of the weakest DUI laws in the developed world and this is proof. You're losing your license for a month and have to do some community service. You're amazingly fortunate not to a) be in prison, b) still be able to drive and c) not to have killed someone.

Get the point yet?

By the way, I hope you don't need to go to Canada for any reason until after your conviction is expunged. A DUI conviction will bar you from entry into the country so long as it remains on your record.

Lose your sense of entitlement and take some fucking responsibility for making a stupid, stupid decision.

People like you continue to make individuals convicted of a DUI scared to tell their story. Scared of the judgement- being labled a disgusting individual who puts other people’s lives in danger. If more courageous people like Joy shared their story, people might realize its not just the stupid wreckless drunks who get arrested for DUIs. It’s people who only drink a couple times a year, people who only have a few drinks and then wait the recommended number of hours for the alcohol to leave their system, and people who actually pull over when they feel unsafe driving so as not to endanger other peoples lives.

You seem to be reading this with your “drunk drivers are all senseless disgusting morons” goggles. If you happened for a moment, to remove those goggles (from your arse, where they seem to be deeply lodged), you might notice that in no part of Joy’s story does she write without regard or remorse for her actions. In fact, she says outright that she “deserve[d] whatever was coming to [her].”

As for being annoyed that she got caught- is she supposed to be excited? This experience isn’t one-dimensional. Being annoyed about a punishment does not inherently indicate a lack of regret for the punishable action. She feels sorry that she (almost) drove drunk. Does this mean she should feel excited that she gets to pay a number of steep fees, do several hours of community service, and worst of all, succumb to an out pour of hateful, insensitive comments when she decides to share her experience online? No, its a punishment- it’s supposed to be a drag, and she never once indicated that it was undeserved.

If you are not interested in Joy’s story, do not read it, and move on with your life. But please don’t try to discourage her or anyone else from telling their story!

Ok. I am going to have to stand on the line with this story. I fell on hard times, but unfortunately went the immature route and decided it was better to go out, date, and drink my sorrows. I ended up on one blind date who drugged me and while flagging a cop (and him not believing me), thrown in jail for under the influence (I still thank the dating site that hooked me up w/that gem) and the next one was COMPLETELY my fault. I lost my license, paid my lawyer, still paying my fees, and still going to classes. Every day is a reminder of how bad I hit rock bottom. Do I deserve it-absolutely. And although every day is a reminder of what a mess I made and what I could have done to others; every day is also a given grace of the lesson I learned and where I never want to be again. Don't always judge someone and think they haven't learned from their mistakes guys. I learned mine and, although it should never have happened, it never in a million years will happen again.

You got into a car with at least a 0.12 blood alcohol level and drove. You were so sloppy that someone called the cops before you even got into your car (although they were stupid to let you get in in the first place) so you clearly should have known you were too drunk to drive.

Got less then you deserved. You should have done a mandatory 30 days in jail and had a license suspended for a year.

We're not going curb drunk driving until there is much more then just a monetary cost to those caught. Woo, it cost you $10k? Big deal. It could have cost someone else their life.

I don't expect you to feel sympathy for me. When you're intoxicated somewhere between being sober and really drunk, it's not as easy as you say to "know you are too drunk to drive." You can't know these things by how you feel. It's more a lesson in how long it takes alcohol to leave your body. More than three hours.

Admitting fault is one thing. Unreasonable punishment is another. Laws across this country vary widely. Jail time is too harsh. Don't throw stones. I bet you've broken the law and got away with it. Next time, you'll be wishing you had a lawyer.

I have no sympathy. When you drink and drive, you put the lives of others at risk. I'm glad the police caught you before you killed someone. Put your own life at risk, if you like, but if you put the lives of others at risk, you need to pay. I'd prefer a two strike system. The first time, a significant fine, jail time, and you lose your license for a year. The second time, you lose it for the rest of your life, as well as serving more time and paying a larger fine.

Facts remain: No damage to persons or property. BobSmith, harsh penalties are not working. If you had your way, millions every year would suffer too much. Don't throw stones until you realize how it feels.

I actually agree with you re: the second time. If you are stupid enough to get a second DUI, then you deserve what's coming to you. The first offense punishment — it's tough, because you definitely want to make sure it's harsh enough so people don't want to get in trouble again. For some people a $10k fine ruins their lives, for others it's pocket change. Fines aren't the answer for stopping drunk driving — they're only the answer for helping a broke government pay their debts.

On the one hand, you might have been able to argue the mitigating factor that you realized you weren't safe to drive, pulled over and then ceased driving — as opposed to some meatheads who no doubt realize that halfway home and keep driving anyway.

That said, more than once you blame your heels for the wobbly behavior that someone noticed, and seem pissy that some big sister — who may have been sober and therefore better able to judge your condition than you were — was paying attention and reported you. That's precisely what people *should* do. She couldn't know you would recognize your mistake and pull over, and if you hadn't, she could have saved some lives. The point is, rather than get snooty over someone else getting in your business and judging you for your ill-fitting shoewear, you should be thanking whoever is in charge of things that someone saw something, and said something.

It's fine she called 911 — I'm surprised to be honest… I thought people only do that when they see you driving and swerving all over the place. The report didn't mention that she thought my driving was bad, just that I was wobbling to my car. It turns out she was right, and I had no idea, how drunk I was.

I hope no one gives you mercy if you ever make a mistake, Kabong. 30-40 years ago the police would have probably given her a ride and let her off without charges. Kabong, I bet you're the person who blames every person that drinks and drives for every alcohol related death in a motor vehicle. I was stopped for a wide left turn and had a .09 BAC. Unfortunately, my state doesn't allow for expungement. I had the charges reduced to reckless driving but it will stay with me for my entire life. Nothing you or anyone can tell me that even if I live a perfect life from now on that having such a record should stay forever. After paying the system in full, I should be able to continue with life.

I never understood why a DUI was so expensive until reading about your proceedings. Now, I get that you need a lawyer and all that stuff. That being said, I still don’t understand why there has to be so many hearings, motions, paperwork, etc. along the way. I guess maybe the systems have it that way to make it more costly and inconvenient, thus discouraging drinking and driving.

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About Me

The anti-minimalist: I'm the absolute worst with money. I have a shopping addiction. That's exactly why this blog exists. HECC is not a typical personal finance blog. I started it in 2007 to hold myself accountable for binge spending, a dropping networth, and lack of overall fiscal literacy. 10 years later, had achieved a networth of over $500k. Now my goal is to hit $1M by 40. Recently married and with my first kid on the way, things are about to get... interesting. I write about the intersection of mental health and money, spending & investing, and millennial personal finance.