Of Women and Darkness

Women have better reading habits than men, so I have no fear of invoking their godforsaken wrath when I write in this story that all women are very timid in heart. They are brave, sometimes exemplarily brave, in most circumstances their only weapon being their tongue. The showers of missiles that bombard the hapless ones have made the wide-chested of men to run for cover with all his fingers in his ears. While men run home to get their pistols, women bring to excellent use a lethal blend of foul language (why foul if it saves your life? ) and any throw-able object ( especially utensils ). And I can bring to you a hundred men , with their faces covered (men are so conscious of their self-respect, you know ) who will testify that such deadly warfare does exist . One daily newspaper reported that according to the researchers of Philadelphia University, women have become 20% more bolder than men. It reported that studies conducted on about a thousand cases of deaths caused in encounters with women reveal that almost 80% of the deaths are due to excessive loss of dignity and high degree of shame. Following this report, exclusively for-men security agencies mushroomed all over the country, most of them run by women ( evil begets evil, they say ). Men meowed in protest against the growing atrocities of the womenfolk on them. Husbands secretly studied “Nirlep Fry-pans Violent User’s Manual” while their wives slept. Seminars, brainstorming sessions, debates, prayer meetings followed but not a single lifesaving solution emerged. How not to be ashamed? How to kill shame? (Who could dare to think of controlling women? )

At last the solution came from the dense jungles of Africa. A team of entomologists (they study bugs ) had published a research paper about their discovery of a fascinating species of insects. Now, these insects had a peculiar behavior. They remained holed up in tree trunks as long as daylight prevailed and the ones who ventured out were often eaten up by other insects. But when night falls, they storm out of their holes and attack every insect big or small with alarming ferocity ( one of the entomologists has a photograph of the insects munching at his index finger to prove this ). The strange thing is that these insects have perfect vision during daytime but they offer no resistance to their attackers while at night, they have only partial vision still they attack with vengeance. The entomologists could offer no rational explanation for this behavior. Now, no one knows who, but some henpecked genius gentleman having read this paper in the time he spared from reading the “Nirlep …..” books, came out with a brilliant plan. It is said that he ran naked on the road shouting “Eureka, eureka”. Geniuses are of course entitled to such acts as this shows that they are too passionately engrossed in attaining enlightenment to care about such lowly decencies as dressing. He hastily called a large press conference and declared himself ‘The Savior’. Before the blinding flashes of cameras and a large bouquet of microphones, he revealed his scheme, a scheme which only a real man could make.