The Future

I am once again in a place in life where I have no idea where I will be in a few months. It is incredibly frustrating.

In February, I began applying to other schools. My goal was to test the waters, see if anyone would bite. Since I took the first job offered to me straight out of college, I hadn’t had the chance to truly understand what the possibilities are. It became my goal to apply to as many schools as I could and get an idea of what they have to offer.

The truth is, I didn’t think there would be many responses, but it has reached the point that my interview schedule is overwhelming. And some of the possibilities are tempting. Very tempting.

I have no idea what I want anymore. I have a chance to be a coordinator at a school several states away. Or I could be a language teacher at a prestigious school just outside Mexico City. My current school is offering an excellent deal for the next school year. I could switch to a school that doesn’t have as good of a financial package but which offers better professional development opportunities and support.

It seems silly to complain when I have so many opportunities in front of me. But the more opportunities I have, the more complicated the decision becomes. With each new opportunity, I fully research the school and the area and the possibilities for our life there. I start to see my life, what it could be in this new place. Each one seems like something wonderful.

To complicate things even more, I have to examine each possibility not just based on what our life is now, but on what we hope it will be one day. And, obviously, I cannot know with certainty what that might be.

Sal isn’t happy with the idea of moving because it is getting in the way of his plans. Which consists pretty much of a burning desire to own his own house and nothing else. If we move, we may be in a more expensive area and he is displeased with this. Not owning his own home is like some sort of stain on his personal image. I would like to own my own home one day, but it isn’t the most important thing in my life at this point.

Next week, I will be traveling to Mexico State for a teacher performance assessment at my top-choice school and to take an exam with another institution. It is my hope that by the time that is all over, my future will be a bit clearer.

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If I may offer a personal experience here (by no means is this advice as I am in no position to give any): Since being diagnosed with cancer, all I want is to be in a classroom again. I am not allowed to drive for 6 months. Can’t work for now due to brain fog (after 2 brain surgeries – I know I am not ready). Coordinator sounds nice, but it wasn’t “nice” for me. Realistically everyone dumps on the coordinator. People who seem able to find solutions suddenly stop when they know a coordinator is around who can be handed the problems. It amazed me to see perfectly able and intelligent people stop trying once they’d see me walk by. I love the classroom. I love teaching. Always knew that but realized it even more once I was working in the school but not in a room of my own. I’d say keep using that creative side of yours and have fun. I’d also stick with the same school – they know you. Going to another school means starting over by proving yourself again to admin, fellow teachers and parents. I wish I could be back at my old school there, but not as a coordinator. I understand your husband’s need to build a house as my hubby has been going through the same thing up until now. Now he wants to sell the property (house is half built – I say finish it) so to give me more money (security?) for here. An illness this close to home has hit him hard. It is an honor in fact that your hubby wants to build a home. It is what he wants to do for YOU and any future kids…oh and believe me, it is much easier now BEFORE KIDS.

Hi Greenga Girl!
I’ve been reading your blog for clues…I am sure you have not openly used the name of your school online for a reason, so I will not name it here either. I am interviewing with a school in your area (which I would guess is the one where you currently work). I am planning to ask them if there are people I can speak with if they offer me the position, but I already like you. :-) Would you be willing to message me on Facebook? I have a million questions. I am Susan Klatt Ramirez on Facebook. In case you don’t read this frequently I will message you on Facebook as well. Muchisimas Gracias! From one Gringa to another…