Perhaps the highlight will be sniffing the dried blood in your mum's pants (you know, the stains you *really* like, that only happen when she's forgotten to change her cunt rag) it's a real treat for you isn't it? In fact, if you had the chance you'd probably eat some black pudding made with her menstrual remains. Go on. Admit it.

Perhaps it'll be something as mundane as planning what you'll have for lunch, or hoping that your boss will have a mild cardiac infarction.

Please note, the definition of popular is quite different from the standard accepted definition of the word.
In fact, popular, implying lots of people have has had access to it, is disqualifide if its sold more than 150 copies (80% of them being to family of the band).
(G/PP&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:59,
Reply)

I'm drinking a pint of milk to counteract the whisky
I feel like I'm going to puke, someone will notice something eventually, they can't be that dense. Can they?
(Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 8:56,
Reply)

It looks as though I may have to actually do some work today
My boss came in this morning bristling with excitement at things he wishes me to get sorted. Doesn't he understand my apathy?
(tangledupinbluewhat will survive of us is guffs, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:07,
Reply)

not bad, moving flat on thursday through the weekend
I had a look at th plans yesterday an although the new flat only has 1 additional bedroom, it is almost twice the size of our current place.
(Naked Apecall me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:17,
Reply)

This is good
Next week is all house stuff for us. New front door, new wardrobes, painting, etc....
(sportersI知 sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:17,
Reply)

My wordpress plugin got accepted by Facebook to allow Frictionless Sharing yesterday, the site I created it for had a 300% increase in traffic since it was enabled, and I can easily roll that out to the comercial coresites...
... and I've had two PMs from people asking me to name my price for it already, as far as I can tell, I'm the first person to do it successfully.

Having an operation later on today, simple local anesthetic thing, cutting out some stuff on my head. Won't take more than 15 minutes, hopefully I can get some extra opiats out of it. Might have to shave my hair, I'll see how patchy it looks afterwards.

Basiclly, you know this "Read an article BLAH BLAH on BLAH BLAH" that comes up on facebook for the big-name newspapers...
... I can do the same thing, except I think my version is better because it's easy to unshare and turn it off, where as on the big-name versions it isn't.

I donno, I got these two holes that I've had for about 3 years that I've had from an anxiety head-scratching thing. They're getting cut out and burnt over.
(G/PP&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:34,
Reply)

Ask if you can keep them!
I've got a few of mine in a jar - the nurse washed the crud off them first though.How many are you having out?
(Captain Placid24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:30,
Reply)

They're great, 'cus you're all like "OH MY GOD, THIS IS GOING TO HURT, THEY'RE GOING TO CUT METAL OUT OF MY BODY".
But they don't hurt at all, sometimes they pinch a bit when the skin has grown over them.

I want to get a magnettic bar put in my hand after reading an article about magnettic implants.
(G/PP&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:36,
Reply)

The two lower ones in the back of my neck were awful
They'd almost completely submerged in the skin so I was given the choice of either:-A/ having a local and them being cut out - which would have meant more stitches orB/ having them cut with snips and picked out piecemeal.

I opted for B/

It was a bit weird hearing them being snipped up but all was successful!And you're right, the scar will itch like a bastard for a while!
(Captain Placid24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:41,
Reply)

Uh-Oh, We're In Trouble,
Something's Come Along And It's Burst Our BubbleYeah, Yeah! Uh-Oh, We're In Trouble,Gotta Get Home Quick March On The Double!We've Been Out All Night And We Havn't Been Home,We're Walkin' Through The Back Streets ...All Alone!The Party Was Great, Yeah We Were Really Frilled!And When We Get In We're Gonna Get Killed!
(Peej, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:49,
Reply)

FUCKING HELL ENGLAND HOW HARD IS IT TO THROW A BAT AT A BALL
Today I will also be bemoaning my diet, and possibly buying some shoes.
(Darth FoxtrotA one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 9:54,
Reply)

We're delving back into "/OT - The Golden Years" now
I'm not sure this impostor has been lurking enough to pick up all the great hits of yesteryear
(Darth FoxtrotA one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:08,
Reply)

All your favourite hits
The B69 mortgage payment.The Bert meltdown.Rory's classics. The best of the trolling from our own top troll.The Cat Hater outs himself as Bert.Al breaking the internet by sitting on it.Battered flouncing.Darths favourite homo accusations.A selection of Gonz's top recipes.Chompy's newslinks

And many, many more.

Available now for a limited period on blue ray DVD. Don't miss out on this amazing opportunity to own a copy of '/OT - The Golden Years'
(Fucking hell JeffI am not a robot, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:19,
Reply)

no because it's just my idea and i'm probably wrong
and you know me, i'm not one to stir things.
(rachelswipewith a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:25,
Reply)

I think even if you are wrong it will be amusing
Just think of all the fun to be had with denials, counter-accusations, etc.
(tangledupinbluewhat will survive of us is guffs, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:29,
Reply)

I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scaredWhen I think about the previousRelationship we've shared

It was awesome but we lost itIt's not possible for me not to careAnd now we're standing in the rainBut nothing's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear

The 7 things I hate about you

The 7 things I hate about you (oh you)You're vain, your games, you're insecureYou love me, you like herYou make me laugh, you make me cryI don't know which side to buyYour friends they're jerksAnd when you act like them, just know it hurtsI wanna be with the one I knowAnd the 7th thing I hate the most that you doYou make me love you

It's awkward and silentAs I wait for you to sayBut what I need to hear nowIs your sincere apologyAnd when you mean it, I'll believe itIf you text it, I'll delete itLet's be clearOh I'm not coming backYou're taking 7 steps here

And compared to all the great thingsThat would take too long to writeI probably should mentionThe 7 that I like

The 7 things I like about youYour hair, your eyes, your old Levi'sAnd when we kiss, I'm hypnotizedYou make me laugh, you make me cryBut I guess that's both I'll have to buyYour hand in mineWhen we're intertwined everything's alrightI want to beWith the one I knowAnd the 7th thing I like the most that you doYou make me love youYou do (oh)
(Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:31,
Reply)

anyone but england, basically
he's the same with football. i think it's more a reaction against the fans than the team. or something. i'd probably tuned out by then.
(rachelswipewith a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:02,
Reply)

yes
i suspect there may be some truth in this
(rachelswipewith a fork, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:05,
Reply)

Well, at least he's an Ex.
I'd have felt bad if I'd have had to tell you your current gay boyfriend was a twat. I'd have done it, but I'd have felt bad.
(scarpeWe Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:08,
Reply)

Every time you tell me anything about this fellow I find him ever more objectionable
I suggest you invite him round for coitus and set fire to his pubes
(Darth FoxtrotA one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:05,
Reply)

I suspect that if they are throwing the bat at the ball, this may be what is causing the problem.

I think you're perfectly well aware that a paucity of bowlers is not the problem
Poor old Jimmy Anderson, takes a five-fer and finds himself padded up and at the crease inside two hours, outscores most of the specialist batsmen and has to bowl again.
(Darth FoxtrotA one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:29,
Reply)

as you've asked: 1 - ringing the other side to make them see that their client is being a cunt and trying to save my client £50k in court fees
2 - drafting a formal letter of instruction to an expert witness3 - training session on options and SDLT4 - drafting advice on a conditional break option (substantial compliance, aka nightmare)5 - costs estimate for a ｣2M claim

Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jarAnd be better off than you areOr would you rather be a mule?

A mule is an animal with long funny earsKicks up at anything he hearsHis back is brawny and his brain is weakHe's just plain stupid with a stubborn streakAnd by the way, if you hate to go to schoolYou may grow up to be a mule

Or would you like to swing on a starCarry moonbeams home in a jarAnd be better off than you areOr would you rather be a pig?

A pig is an animal with dirt on his faceHis shoes are a terrible disgraceHe ain't got no manners when he eats his foodHe's fat and lazy and extremely rudeBut if you don't care a feather or a figYou may grow up to be a pig

Or would you like to swing on a starCarry moonbeams home in a jarAnd be better off than you areOr would you rather be a fish?

A fish won't do anything, but swim in a brookHe can't write his name or read a bookAnd to fool the people is his only thoughtAnd though he's slippery, he still gets caughtBut then if that sort of life is what you wishYou may grow up to be a fish

And all the monkeys aren't in the zooEvery day you meet quite a fewSo you see it's all up to youYou can be better than you areYou could be swingin' on a star
(Peej, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:13,
Reply)

How bad is it
that the thing that made me "FFS" the most about that whole article is that the author has listed her surname as Cullen?
(Darth FoxtrotA one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Mar 2012, 10:40,
Reply)