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I was going through my stuff and found this letter from a stranger who became an angel and a friend later. It was the time when I was going through a very rough stage in my life. When I look back now it feels like eternity and I can’t believe that I was so upset in my life at that point due to the people whom I loved and cherished once and who hurt me the most in my life. I might not have shared this a year ago but now that I am out of that situation and have become a much stronger and happier person in life then I would like to share this letter that I recieved from a person who saved my life and stood by me that night. It was christmas party that I wanted to go to make sure I get a bit of a change from my current life’s problems and get my mind away from the problems. It was the fear of my ex that took over after few drinks and I panicked that night. Then worst happened and I was lucky to find some angles that night to save my life and help me realise no matter how much people hurt you or damage your life but there are others selfless souls in this world who spread peace and love. And that makes me feel that there is absolutely no reason to give up on people who are no good for you or who treat you mean and create problems in your life. But rather think about the nice people around and the goodness in this world and have hope and love in your heart. Thanks to those people who saved me and whom I would always be grateful to. So here goes the letter:

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Hey,

Nicole and I (photo attached) were there from the start til the very end so I’m happy to meet with you to discuss it, or below is basically the details of the event.

At about 10.30, while we were all sitting in a circle chatting, we noticed you were rather intoxicated.

Within minutes, you collapsed to the floor.

Rich (photo attached – only one I have on my phone) grabbed you up to sit up but you fell back down. So he laid you on your side until the medical guys that were on site arrived.

We took you into a side room. At this point, there were only Nicole, Rich, Pauline and I, including the staff of Town Hall and party organisers, and the med guys were in the room trying to assist.

At this point, your heart rate dropped and there was a 50/50 chance. You were severely in shocked and body was not coping well. I dont believe they performed CPR but they had to put a lot of pressure on your chest due to your heart beat slowing right down. The med guys decided that you needed to be taken to hospital.

As you arrived to the party with no one and Pauline and Rich had to go, Nicole and I volunteered to be present with you in the ambulance and at the hospital.

Whilst in the ambulance I made all attempts to get an emergency contact details through work place, but to no avail. We also went through your phone and attempted to contact Kunal whom wasn’t able to come due to no transportation. At this point, we were already aware your situation with regards to your ex (as you had mentioned it to Pauline and we were informed so that we could treat this matter carefully)

We saw numbers on the phone from text messages that we knew not to call.

Upon arriving at the Sydney hospital the nurse took a breath test, and unfortunately you were 4 times over the limit. This was consumed within 2-3 hours max. We knew the mental and emotional state you were in but we had no idea whether you had taken any pills prior or not. You were admitted to emergency. This was about midnight. Nicole and I stuck by you til 2.30. During this time, you were still quite in shock and intoxicated. Towards the end, you gained some consciousness and became more aware of the situation ie you being at the hospital. You got up to Nicole and I. You opened up a lot to us about the AVO and personal situation. You managed to give us your address in North shore., as we of course didn’t want to take you back to the address on your licence for your safety. A lot was said by you which I truly hope one day soon it will be over and brighter days for you. We even got to the point where both shed tears because you spoke of ending your life to find peace. I have had friends that passed away and one committed suicide. I showed you a tattoo on my arm of my friend and told you that not a day go by, I dont feel hurt by the selfish act of my friend. So please, I hope you dont do anything silly to yourself. I dont know you well enough but I know you are in a bad place, but I do believe that what happens today makes us stronger tomorrow for brighter days ahead. At 2.30 I spoke to the nurse and she informed me that we didnt have long at the hospital as at this stage you were no longer in danger and not life threatening. We escorted you out onto the road and attempted to get a taxi. At 3am we managed to get one, and Nicole lives over the bridge so she took you home first, ensured you got into your place ok and she left to go home. I live in Waterloo so I left as soon as you guys got a cab.

It was a night that we all didn’t expect but it does happen. Do not feel embarrassed. If you were a drunk and its a common thing then I would have stuck by you but due to the fact that you had a lot going on, it was the right thing to do to ensure your safety comes first.

I hope you are feeling much better now and you said you are seeking help from a counsellor. I truly hope it works out as you seemed like a really nice person that wants nothing but happiness and to live a normal life. Stay strong and know that you are not alone. I am only a phone call away if you need a friend OK.

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I am not sure what kind of problems you might face in life but smaller or bigger we all are capable to choose a life for ourself and lead a life with happiness if we are willing to. So don’t feel embarrased about things that have happened in your life as we all have a past. But its the choices we make in our present and its the decisions we make to corrct them that matters the most.

Many of us want to know what will happen in future? We are so curious at times that we even try to get some professional help to predict the future. But it made me think one day discussing it with a friend that every action in present leads us to our future and each action we take differently will change the direction to the future resulting into a unique future. I have not studied this subject very well so I would not question what people with vast knowledge might have to say. Although I would love to discuss it with the people reading here whether they agree with me or not.

I think it’s not possible to predict future as we every moment as we breathe creating it and working towards a unique future every moment. For example if we start our day with a bad or unfortunate incident and then depending upon our reaction to that even the whole day changes accordingly. Either we can choose to stay happy and try to smile considering what has happened can not be changed and try to make sure that rest of the day is better. Or we can feel bad about it and crib about it the whole day and then have an awful day. What I am saying is a very common thing and hopefully we all know it, but it is difficult to actually react in positive manner if we are not positive inside. So we not only have to think about the outside reaction but also need to think why we react in certain manner. Sometimes it might happen that we have something going on inside that might make our reaction go bad as well even if nothing big happens.

Lets close our eyes, now you would think how will we read this post then ..hehehe OK let me tell you then, this is an exercise you are supposed to do if you really want to know what’s going on inside you right now. And if any thing happens in next few minutes what will be your reaction. So what you need to do? Simple close your eyes for 30 seconds as it will be hard to do longer at first and then think how you are feeling – uneasy, frustrated,happy, sad,angry,bored or any other feeling. Then put it into the category of positive and negative. Now this will most probably drive the reaction force from you in case any thing happens. So make sure you try to change the inside as much as possible. It will change your reaction to things quickly and in a nice way. You will not regret why did you not do something differently to change the series of events in your day. What happens at times is not in our hand but what happens after that is definitely in our hands and there we can make a difference. Think about it and take one day at a time and observe the events and see how you made a difference.

Now you would think all this philosophy I am telling here, any one can say these things. But the point is whether I practice this myself or not. Then I would tell you my experience and how it changed things. Just a simple example out of my many experiences – I was getting bored for many weekends. I talked to a very good friend regarding this that since I have come back from travelling I am facing some problem settling in normal life. And as I have just started fresh in Sydney so not much plans are made yet for the weekends and I am so bored. He said one line – ‘Where is boredom? Is it here on the table, on the walls or on the floor? It is in your brain.” And I am so happy that I had that conversation with him as I did realize that I am always busy doing something or the other and in this race I have almost forgotten to sit back and relax sometime. Or not panic if there is nothing much happening on the weekend. This Saturday, I made sure that I am feeling good doing anything and I watched movies, went out to buy some washers for the tap, came back in windy weather and smiled looking at the cloudy sky. I then decided not to go to a party that was decided long back looking at the weather as it might have a really bad night to go out. But unlike other times I did not feel bad about any of my decisions taken during that day. Then before going to bed I decided to have a very good Sunday. I slept around 1:30 AM which was quiet late but nothing unusual But it could have made me asleep all afternoon. But no, I had decided in my head that I want to be able to say that I had a wonderful Sunday. So I woke up around 9 AM and it was a beautiful sunny day. I had breakfast, watched a movie in a relaxed manner then painted my hands with Heena (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mehndi). Then went out with my friends and you know what now I am able to say that I did have an awesome Sunday. So, now you see – make that decision in your mind of having a good day and trust yourself that you are capable of having a good day and you deserve it. Then see the magic 🙂

Have an awesome week ahead dear readers! And this is your moment to make that decision that you will have a good Monday tomorrow. You know what, that smile suits you so make sure you smile at the end of this post as that will make my post worth a million if you do 🙂

I used to keep thinking about ‘stuff’ all the time whether in train or bus on foot. I never realised that there were so many things happening around me all the times that I kept missing because I was too observed in myself most of the times.

Since I have started travelling and taking pictures I realised that I have changed – changed from a thinker to an observer. No matter where I am – in a bus, plane, train or street, I observe most of the things around me. Is it good or bad? Good of course as I am able to appreciate my surroundings and feel more aware. And how does that help? Yes, it does believe me as this way I am living in the present rather focusing my energy either on past events or future plans.

This does not mean that I have stopped thinking but only when needed and not like a lost soul in her thoughts all the time. It is amazing as I don’t feel sad about things in past and I don’t feel pressurized but the future plans. All I am doing is just live the present and accept things as they happen. It feels very different as I am the kind of person who is more indulged in past and future than present usually. And not to mention it always makes me feel either frustrated/sad/hasty/excited/pressurized thinking about stuff that I could have done differently or things I have to do in near future. Where the truth is I can’t change the past and future is yet not there. All I can do is planning for future in an organized way possible and then leave it for the time being till it become present to actually execute it.

I feel freer as well as living in the present means only to deal with things that are there in front of you and not to burden yourself with everything else in the world. This is what Mahatma Gandhi said that one should live his/her life as if he/she is going to die the very next day. And I think travelling has changed my habit in such a way that I am indirectly living my life that way only.