Copyright

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they face the monumental challenge of pretending to do work on a Friday morning while watching their beloved Sharks.

Let’s get one thing straight: a bad Sharks game beats a good day at work, and day. But you know how it is, you’ve got your job to do and parking off in the work canteen for two hours watching the game on TV kinda looks bad. Your office phone rings off the hook, the emails pile up and pretty soon some anal retentive is wondering why you’re not at your desk. To add to your woes, it’s a sure bet in life that your immediate boss has absolutely no interest in sport, let alone rugby or the Sharks. And they’re just waiting for that chance to k*k you out.

Note, if you own your own business, or there’s absolutely no problem whatsoever with you taking two hours off to watch the game, be grateful. For the rest of us, here’s my guide to getting the most out of your Friday game.

The Pharmacy Visit

This is a tried and trusted gem, but it’ll only really enable you to watch the first half, and maybe a bit of the second. You call in and announce to the receptionist that you’re off to the pharmacy to get some meds because you’re feeling a little iffy. Because the pharmacy only opens at 9, no-one can really argue with your logic for being at least 45 minutes late. So sit back at home and enjoy the first half and time your drive to work during half time. If you actually are sick, bonus! Watch the whole game from home, you lucky guy.

Walking around with a piece of paper in your hand

The key to watching the game at work is to always look like you’re on your way to somewhere else. The best piece of advice I’ve ever heard comes from David Brent of The Office. He suggests always having a piece of official-looking paper in your hand. That way it’s obvious to any onlooker that you’re sorting something or the other out and that you’re merely parking off for a few seconds to check the score. Genius, isn’t it?

Breakfast Cereal and Coffee

Morning games are really handy because you can make yourself some cereal at work and enjoy it with a cup of that awful work coffee while watching the game. Take your time, only the most malevolent boss will tell you to hurry up and eat your cornflakes. This tactic works really well in conjunction with the ‘piece of paper’ trick (see above). Besides you can always go back for more tea and coffee, although I would set a limit on the number of cups of coffee otherwise you’ll be a gibbering wreck by the end of the game and totally useless for the rest of the day.

Ciggie in the mouth

For the smokers out there, a short and sweet method is to stand watching the game with a cold ciggie behind the ear or in the mouth. When someone walks into the TV area, merely mumble that you got distracted on your way to your smoke break. If the TV’s in the Smoker’s Room, bonus!

“You haven’t seen Hobbs, have you?”

Once again, a little trick best used in conjunction with the other methods above. When someone walks in on you in the TV area, ask them: ‘You haven’t seen ‘X’ in accounts have you, man, I’ve been looking all over for that guy.” Once again, it appears as if your presence in front of the TV is but a brief hiatus on your quest to somewhere else.

Brainstorming in the TV room??

This one is outrageous and should only be attempted by the most gifted of poker players. You act like you need your own quiet space, away from the maelstrom of your office, to think a little. With a blank pad of paper and a pen, look feverishly busy like you’re trying crack the biggest idea since Budweiser’s ‘Whazzup’ campaign. You might have to turn the volume down for this one, as no-one in their sane mind will believe you can concentrate with Hugh Bladen screaming ‘brrrilliiiannnt’ in your ear all the time.

Back to the desk

Now, at various junctures you might actually have to go back to your desk to create the illusion that you’re actually doing some work. Log on to Sharksworld and keep refreshing those live updates. A healthy combination of internet and TV time will give you the best possible viewing experience without arousing the suspicions of the megalomaniacs in the corner office. Pat yourself on the back, ninja, you’ve beaten the system. Work 0, Sharks 1.

Luckily I sit in the corner and no one can sneak up on me from behind.

I must just have some “official document” in front of me and one of the programs we use running in the back ground for easy access… Aahhh the tricks of the trade

Comment 3, posted at 25.02.10 10:30:03 by Farlington

LOL

thank Heavens i am da big boss!!!

Comment 4, posted at 25.02.10 10:31:03 by grant10

oh gee i wonder if my mr hubby that is working in the morning this week if he’ll moan if his house executive takes a quick rest to watch her game and if does who really care a shit sorry guys feel sorry for yous that have to work or even have to try some of those things to watch the game i bet there are some boses who have read this post just hope you have a great boss that all. But if i was really working that is about great ideas to watch the game go for it and if you get court blaim it on the guys who told us to play that early on a friday aahhh

Comment 5, posted at 25.02.10 10:38:00 by Charmaine

Think I used to log onto to ” scoreline.com” back in the days when I wasn`t the boss

Note . . . don`t answer the phone while shouting : KANKOW YOU BEAUTY!

Comment 6, posted at 25.02.10 10:38:06 by Original Pierre

Comment 7, posted at 25.02.10 10:38:48 by Jarson's (X + V)

@grant10 (Comment 4) : gee grant if your da big boss give the sharks on your staff off for the game now would that not be team spirit and then the staff will love you to bits

Comment 8, posted at 25.02.10 10:39:42 by Charmaine

@Farlington (Comment 3) : Yeah snap….. I also pretend to be grumpy…so people leave me alone.

Comment 9, posted at 25.02.10 10:44:11 by Just a Fan

@grant10 (Comment 4) : Why don`t you organise a ” team building” get together where you can all watch the game and let the Bulls supporters man the office on friday morning. Ought to teach them a lesson hehehe

Comment 10, posted at 25.02.10 10:45:41 by Original Pierre

@grant10 (Comment 4) : You shouldn’t be reading this then…..you will know what “they” are upto….

Comment 11, posted at 25.02.10 10:47:15 by Just a Fan

That’s classic, CapeShark!

I can just imagine a few frustrated Sharkies taking your Ninja advice to heart and going the whole hog – sluiping around the tv room, piece of paper in one hand, cornflakes in the other, cigarette in the mouth, muttering under their breaths that they’re looking for someone, eyes squint from sneaking peaks at the screen.

Sounds like an episode of Columbo

Comment 12, posted at 25.02.10 10:55:12 by rhineshark

@grant10 (Comment 4) : Employ me and I’ll even watch some Bulls games with you

@rhineshark (Comment 12) : oh rineshark you just made me laugh the way you tell its seem like that film steve made aunty stinnie on the stoep can’t remember what that movies name is

Comment 18, posted at 25.02.10 11:25:00 by Charmaine

@Charmaine (Comment 5) : Charmaine, I make sure I work myself silly throughout the week, so I can take Fridays of during the Super14…usually it works…or I leave the ironing until Friday and do it infront of the tv.

Comment 19, posted at 25.02.10 11:25:57 by Nita

@Nita (Comment 19) : got a point but i hate ironing so leave that for my lady that works for me and then just watch all the games only joking i’m like that 2 get the house cleaned the night before then i’ve got enough time to be on sharksworld and on saturday well hubby must just keep to his mouth because i’m not a quite supporter i’m a big mouth and the the people around me must also just keep quite that my time with my team

Comment 20, posted at 25.02.10 11:35:57 by Charmaine

@Charmaine (Comment 20) : I’m a big mouth as well. Actually I was clapping my hands so hard this past weekend, that I’ve still got a sore path underneath my thumb…but it’s all in the name of RUGBY

Comment 21, posted at 25.02.10 11:40:33 by Nita

@Nita (Comment 21) : oh yes nita the path of the game one day i screemed so hard i lost my voice but we won the world cup and then the sharks won a game also and had no voice

Comment 22, posted at 25.02.10 11:44:23 by Charmaine

@Nita (Comment 21) : to think of it my hubby thinks i’ve got something loose in my head because the sharks try its like the zulu’s in durban on a sunday afternoon when i was very young still inschool days aaash that was very good days then

Comment 23, posted at 25.02.10 11:46:31 by Charmaine

how’s this? Even though I work from home, I can’t watch tomorrow cos it’s my wife’s birthday

Comment 24, posted at 25.02.10 11:46:42 by robdylan

@robdylan (Comment 24) : oh shit buy her a nice and expensive present make her a lovely supper the night before that tonight and drink to her birthday and then watch the game then tell you will make it up with her later just might work

Please guys, you have to start putting pressure on Idiot Strauli, you are on the road to destruction. Hel I am not a Sharks, but this is painful. Your centers are shocking. You had a chance to get a man like Walter Venter , but Strauli was the one that did not want him

Bad luck Sharks No excuse we were terrible. Need to re-build with the youngsters now. Our backline just not up to it. Our scrums were worse without John.

Goode was useless. Why we bought him for this season was stupid. Play one of our youngsterst there. Rory was good with the kicks at goal but think Ruan must move back to scrummie. Stop this playing Adi out of postion. Must go back to 13.

Just not looking good for Sharks, nothing to lose now try out different combos. Play some of the younsters. Lambie, Mvovo. Try out Deysel at 6 Alberst 7 and Kanko at 8. Move John back to Hooker. Maybe try and fly Ludik over for the tour too.

Comment 62, posted at 26.02.10 11:01:52 by Puma

@Puma (Comment 62) : I have moved up to where now with my two stars Just noticed.

Comment 63, posted at 26.02.10 11:03:39 by Puma

@FISH (Comment 60) : Not sure how we kept with Straueli after the mess he made with the WC 2003. He needs the boot so does Van Zyl. Something not happening up there.

Look Stormers were not good last year. They done something about it. Bought two brilliant players in Habs and JF. We actually had JF knocking on our door only to send him away. How stupid was that? Now look we have Adi and Waylon as our centres and Waylon is just not up to it. Adi will play better if moved back to 13 but needs a good inside centre next to him. Damn man, JdV wants to come home get there fast who ever has the bloody cheque book. Even better GO AND BUY FRANSIE OUT OF HIS CONTRACT. He has made a huge, huge gap now that he has left. Those that booed him hope you feel really stupid now. We must have the weakest back line in the whole S14. No blitz there at all. Never looked like we had any gameplan either. Not good enough with the kinda players that are still there but bring in the youngsters now. Time for change.