Your writing is not bad it is actually pretty good compared to some of the authors. I have been much the same way I used to write a good deal but I got frustrated because no one seemed to pay any interest in my stories but I have started updating an publishing some of my stock piled material. I think sometimes we just have to grow past the popularity contest and just show the world what we can do as authors.

I liked the concept of Peter bringing a girl to the school adn how she had the misconception that it was some hyped up psych ward but how she also has chosen to stay, something the others didn't really have the choice of. sort of brings a new experience to the table seeing as you have Kat who made it to the bus station, Scott who vandalized a house, Auggie who is there on a court order and Shelby who while not wanting to be there doesn't like to leave...

Tara chapter 4 . 4/19/2012

Loving it. Your English is good, keep writing

ShelbyScottFan chapter 4 . 4/14/2012

I love your story, keep writing

SaNdRAtiSh chapter 3 . 4/12/2012

I like your words, the story is believable, good descriptions...

Thorn chapter 3 . 4/5/2012

I have a lot to say about your story so I hope you don't mind a mixture of criticism and encouragement. I'll break it down by chapter.

First chapter had me tearing up. Very dramatic and totally awesome that Peter just happened to be there to help.

Okay, with the second chapter Peter totally kidnapped her! I don't know that it is realistic that he would break the law by taking her to Horizon and keeping her there against her will before she was offically a student. After all he didn't interfere when he knew Shelby was going back home to the man the abused her (in the show). Also it is hard to believe that the cliffhangers wouldn't move out of Nicky's way. They too are disfunctional teens and have most likely felt the need to flee at sometime too. Juliette and Auggie ran away; Shelby didn't stop Scott from running away. As the chapter goes on they sound more and more like a cult.

In chapter three Peter seems more responsible and like himself. Sophie is awesome and you write Shelby very well. I hope you don't take too much offense at the criticism, but I felt like those were things I should point out. :)