Kris Duke

Kristoffer Duke is our only child. He was killed in a single car accident. Kris was at fault. He was driving, texting, speeding, and not uses the seat belt. The fact that this tragedy was completely avoidable makes me sickened.Kris had just divorced his wife of six years. The beautiful daughter he thought was his offspring turned out to be another's. Not only did my husband and I lose a son, but a granddaughter as well.I am an only child, but my husband has a brother. Sadly, Mike and his brother are estranged.You don't know what you have until there is no way to get even close to it.A mothers love can not touch the pain of the whole left in our lives.Please contact family - even if you don't like them. Keep phone messages - that way you have your child's voice. That can't replace the emptiness, but it sure sounds sweet.Kris survived Rbadomyosarcoma (cancer)at the tender age of eight, but 27 years and a car cost him his life and in a profound way - mine too.Spring

Comments for Kris Duke

It has been 18 months since Kris died in a car accident. The feelings now are different in that they burn with disbelief and denial. I held Kris' hand and kissed his face and cried. Now, the feel of his skin has faded and the kisses bitter sweet. I wait everyday for his phone call to tell me where he is traveling or working or running, but they have not come. But I wait. Every single mistake I made in parenting Kris haunt me. What if. What if. What if. what if I did this or that or more or less. Must be part of griefing, but it hurts....alot.--------------------------

ed note: This blog has been transitioned to a great new Forum with private messaging. Please check it out by hitting the "The Grief Club" button on the left. You can even resubmit your post there for fresh advice. Thanks so much!Jennie

Jan 30, 2014

Kris's Momby: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss and pain. I second all that Doreen has written. We are never prepared. We don't even think to save every single scrap of paper with their scrolls on it or every picture of them. Forever seems to be what we plan on, but it is often not so. I am outliving my oldest. He died at age 30 by his choice. I know the questions that will echo in your mind. Over and over, you are likely to ask "why"? Eight years later, I know that answers don't come. Maybe some will be, but there will always be gaps in the story. Maybe it comforts you that your son did not intend to die. He may have been reckless, but he wanted to live. How many times I have been careless and was "lucky"? It happens in our lives all the time, but this time made all the difference for you and my heart hurts for the pain it is causing you. Please write often. Read other stories and share your own. It helps to know we are not alone. God never leaves us either even though we may wonder about that sometimes, He does not. May you find peace in his comfort. Blessisngs

Oct 14, 2013

Kris Dukeby: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your son to a sudden death by a car. I am glad your son survived cancer so you could have those many years with him. Your hurt will be greater because the accident was caused by carelessness. You will be feeling angry but this anger will be part of your grief and will pass with time. To lose an only child is the worst hurt a mother could bear. To also lose a granddaughter through finding out she wasn't by your son is another hurtful grief to overcome. Life can be so cruel often. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 17 months ago. A three years battle with terminal cancer. Grief is long, hard, and very painful and often we feel as if we won't survive it. But we do.If you have a belief in God He is the only one who can take us through this grief. I coped by taking ONE DAY AT A TIME. It is a hard battle but having supportive family and friends helps so much. May God Comfort you in your grief and give you Peace.