Dating A Single Mom Is Great!

Men reveal why this is a win-win situation when it comes to romance.

By Alan Goldsheray you’re staring at the “fiction bestsellers” shelf at your local book emporium. Say you reach for that new Grisham book. Say somebody else reaches for the book at the same time and your hands brush. Say you look over and see that this somebody resembles Sarah Jessica Parker. Say you chat, and then you click, and

For some single guys, a woman’s having children is a deal-breaker.

then you ask her if she’ll meet you for dinner that night.

Say she says yes... but only if she can get a babysitter for her daughter.

For some single guys, a woman’s having children is a deal-breaker. Many men just want to go out and have a good time without worrying about getting that aforementioned babysitter home by 11:00. Well, with that attitude, those guys might be missing out on what could be a great thing. That’s why I asked a group of men to discuss some of the many positives of dating a single mother. Here’s what they want you to know.

The get-closer connection
“Sheila’s kids were six, three, and two when I first met her, and I’m not going to lie: When she first mentioned them, it kind of freaked me out. Up until then, I was a hardcore clubber; at least four times a week, I’d be out until well past midnight. I knew that if I wanted to spend quality time with Sheila – which I totally did – her having three children would mean a heckuva lot less live music for me. Four out of our five dates consisted of us hanging out at her place, and in the beginning, I got kind of antsy. But after a few weeks, what with us having all this quiet time to talk after the kids went to bed, I realized that I’d gotten to know her better than I’d ever known any girl. When you don’t have to yell to be heard over some random band, it’s way easier to get to know somebody—and get closer to them.”
-Jonathan Paul, 33

The kids-are-really-fun factor
“When I started seeing Laura, her son Bobby had just turned three. I wasn’t really what you would call a ‘kid person’ at the time, so I was a little nervous about the

Four out of our five dates consisted of us hanging out at her place…

whole thing. I was sort of afraid I’d say or do something that would mess Bobby up permanently. That, as it turned out, wasn’t a problem. Bobby understandably saw me not as any kind of authority figure, but as one of his play date buddies—which, honestly, was pretty fun. Really, who doesn’t like play dates? If nothing else, being with Laura taught me that there’s no reason to be afraid of children.”
-Steve Olsher, 29

It gets you out and about…and active
“Bella’s little boy Joey joined Little League about six months after Bella and I went on our first date. At that point, we were a solid couple, so she felt comfortable enough asking me to coach his team. I’m a sports nut, and I haven’t picked up a bat or a glove since high school, so it was kind of neat playing with all the kids. If it weren’t for Joey, there’s a good chance the closest I’d have ever gotten to a baseball diamond again would’ve been from the upper deck at Wrigley Field!”
-Eric Bucher, 32

Like they say in the song, R-E-S-P-E-C-T
“A couple years ago, I dated a terrific woman, Christine, who had four children. They were relatively old—the youngest was 15, and the oldest was 21. They were a little bit leery of me at first, but as time progressed, I became friends with them, especially the oldest. And one neat byproduct of that was it organically brought me and Christine closer together. I saw new facets of her through them, and had this level of respect for her that she’d raised such great kids. It brought a real level of depth to our relationship.”
-Mark Stevens, 41
Alan Goldsher is a freelance writer in Chicago who, sadly, knows no babysitters.