There are times when you want have an idea to write something, but are not sure.When you want to know whether an idea or outline is any good, or need help fleshing it out.I'm sure every writer has experienced that before.

So, since we had a number of topics with only outlines created that were too big for Koakuma's Parlour but didn't quite fit in anywhere else,enjoy the newly created Aya's Writing Workshop, inspired by Tengukami.

In here all the previous topics on story outlines have been merged together,and everyone is welcome to present and discuss outlines and ideas here.Have fun~

Yo ~I'm sure us amateur writers have lots thing in our heads, but for some reason we couldn't finish our dreams and let them rot in a dark dark place.Isn't it sad? I mean, it maybe cos of laziness, or some private reason we'd never share, but it's rude to left our ideas like that.

So I make this topic, so people can share their outlines, or unfinished fiction and perhaps someone may want to continue the work. This is like the opposite of the "Request thread" outside, because some outline may ends up in a huge book.

Because you're putting the whole outline here, make sure to put it in spoiler, a brief summary is needed.

Anyway, not sure if the topic is accepted, before Ruro or any higher-ups decide this topic's fate, I'll let mine here.

You know, it's the original Touhou Dark War: Gensokyo is dying, Yukari decided to make a game, where everyone fight each others to death with Mokou, Kaguya, Eirin as supervisors, due to their immortality. However, the cruelty of the youkai is out of control, and something weird is happening afoot.

Day 1: Yukari invited the elite-tier people to the Mt. Youkai to announce the game.

Day 2: Aya was found dead in the Bamboo Forest, Remilia was suspected by Eirin.Kaguya and Eirin went to SDM, and witnessed Meiling's death. Patchouly said they're being attacked by the Yakumo.

Day 3:Remilia, Flandre, Sakuya found dead, the SDM disappeared and Patchouly was nowhere to be found.Kaguya and Eirin went to the Hakurei Shrine and informed that they're going to fight against the Moriya.Eientei was attacked by Momiji, Tewi was confused by the Lunatic Eyes and killed Reisen, and ran off.

Day 4:Kaguya found Tewi and Mokou, found out Tewi was leading the youkai to attack the Human Village, resulted in Keine's death. Mokou was furious and led Momiji to Eientei. After the talk, Mokou fought Kaguya and accidentally killed Tewi.

Day 5:Mokou told Eirin that Akyuu asked them to be the next history recorder before passed away.Kaguya suffered a great shock after Tewi's death, but still went to Hakurei Shrine.

Day 6:The Moriya Shrine had Yuugi as their partner, who killed Suika in a fierce 1-on-1 battle.Kanako killed Marisa after the witch blew Sanae away with her Master Spark.Reimu was crushed under the steel Onbashira, and Alice was wrapped by Suwako to death.

Day 7:Mokou joined force with Kaguya and Eirin, wishing to end the war. They went to the forest under the Youkai Mountain and found the Aku sisters, Hina and Nitori dead.

Day 8:Kaguya's group met the mourning goddesses, and learnt they wanted to give up.Kaguya's group and Yuugi fought the goddesses, and Yuugi killed them both.

Day 9:Eirin thought it's strange for Yuugi to be so bloodthirsty, she and her group secretly follow the oni to the Garden of the Sun.Here, Yuugi got killed by Yuuka. Before death, Yuugi told everyone that Yukari was holding Satori hostage, and more will come for Yuuka's life.

Day 10:Yuuka nearly got killed by Utsuho, but Koishi appeared and stopped the bird.Yukari complained via a gap and burnt Rin alive infront of everyone.Utsuho got killed by Yuuka before she could do the same.

Day 11:Kaguya's group went to Mugenkan, joining with Yuuka to fight against Yukari.Tenshi and Iku appeared in the Hakurei Shrine and found something was still alive in the shrine.However, before doing anything they were killed by Yukari herself.

Day 12:Ran asked the Mugenkan group to have the last battle on Youkai Mountain's Peak. She was spared by Eirin after a fight with Mokou.Yukari escorted Patchouli to a sealed cave, had the witch unseal it and killed her.

Day 13:Kaguya's group and Yuuka went to the mountain, found an ambush led by Byakuren. The monk was persuaded by Yukari.Murasa killed Koishi before got butchered by Yuuka, Mokou managed to burn Narzin to ashes but cannot defeat Shou.Yuuka killed Ichirin and Nue before Byakuren sent her flying out the mountain, making a human-shaped tunnel through the rocks.

Day 14:Yukari revealed her plan: to awake the Dragon God to break the 4th wall, so she can finally free from ZUN's world.Mokou, Kaguya were defeated badly, and Byakuren, Shou were killed by the Great Youkai Sage.Eirin ran to Hakurei Shrine, killed Ran and Chen to release the evil soul of this shrine: Mima.

Day 15:Mima sent Eirin back to the Youkai Mountain, where Yukari was, and she herself ran off to revive Yuuka.Yuuka was revived as her strongest self, long hair, winged, everything and rushed to face Yukari.Eirin didn't fight as she was busy healing her princess. However, Yukari didn't mind, she was waiting for Yuuka.

Day 16:The two strongest youkai fought from dawn to sunset, with the opponent's heart in her hand, Yukari was now the best of Gensokyo.Eirin, Kaguya, Mokou fought the tired Yukari, chased her to the foot of the mountain.Mima appeared, but before she can avenge her students, Yuyuko and Youmu saved Yukari.

Day 17:Youmu died from the injuries. The duo was chased down again, this time to the Sanzu river.Shikieiki appeared, and Yukari used Mima's sins to persuade the Judge.Mima killed Komachi, and was sent to Hell by Shikieiki.Before Shikieiki judged Yukari, the Dragon God awaken from the blood of the Gensokyo's citizens.Yuyuko attacked Shikieiki, while Yukari gapped herself to the Dragon.

Are you allowed to change a few things about the main story? Because sweet Shinki the amount of 'Did Not Do The Research' in this is almost painful.

- Gods can't die. They revive every time they get 'slain'. They can only die when no one believes in them anymore, so for Yuugi to kill the deities she had to kill everyone in Gensokyo first.- Celestials can't permanently die either. They are already dead. 'Spirit' celestials use host to interact with the plain of the living. If you destroy the host nothing happens to the spirit celestial. 'Corporeal' celestials (like Tenshi) have bodies and can be 'killed', but when they are sent to Sanzu they beat the ever loving shit out of the shinigami and then frolic back to Heaven like nothing happened. However, with Yukari's gaphax you can never be sure, so maybe this one is justified.- Shinigami, as DEATH GODS, obviously can't die either. That would be a paradox. And even if she was killed, where would she end up? Sanzu River of course! In the words of South Park: "Where did you think I would end up? Detroit?"- Reimu cannot be defeated in combat. Thanks to her ability to 'float between dimensions' she can effectively become invincible. Moriya doesn't stand a chance against her. They would basically hit nothing but thin air. The battle would go on forever. And when Reimu dies the Hakurei Border would break, which would release the youkai. If Yukari really wanted to be free she could have just killed Reimu with gaphax instead of slaughtering everybody. If however the world of Gensokyo is a 'game world' Yukari could just use the 'border of fiction and reality' to jump out of ZUN's computer and become real. There is actually no need for Yukari to do all this.- Eirin isn't immortal. Inaba of the Moon/Earth confirmed this when Eirin saw a bit of the afterlife when she got strangled by Kaguya with a leek.

I would suggest that anyone who plans to write this to take the above points in account and avoid plotholes. Before you start on this I would suggest to thoroughly research Gensokyo and its inhabitants.

- The Moriya's life is the faith of the Youkai Mountain's area, which was wiped out completely by the fight of Nitori vs Hina and when Yuugi rampaged there.- Yukari can kill the spirits of the Celestial with her ability.- Shikigami is death, but they can "disappear" by getting blown by a great magic force.- Reimu cannot use that skill whenever he wants, nor it is a passive skill. In a fight, things happen.- Yukari needs to call the Dragon God. Since what Reimu is doing is MAINTAIN the boundary. Killing her MIGHT get the boundary collapse, but it's not what definitely happens.- Seeing the afterlife doesn't mean you can die, also you shouldn't take that manga seriously. Or Kaguya really is a damn useless princess.

To be fair, if anyone can kill a god the old fashioned way, it'd be one of the 4 devas.

Also Reimu gets beaten in IN and in 12.3. And in SWR.

Reimu didn't have that power yet in IN. And 10.5 and 12.3 were danmaku games, not a situation of life or death. Reimu doesn't use that ability in danmaku play since it is cheating. However, if she had to fight for real and if her life depended on it she'd access her invincibility and wipe out the threat. Tenshi didn't want to kill anyone. She just wanted someone to fight with. There was no need for Reimu to fight for real. Same goes for every other match in 12.3. It is like Yuyuko's power" she could kill everyone in PCB and everyone in IN save the immortals if she wanted to, but she didn't because she was just playing.

- Reimu cannot use that skill whenever he wants, nor it is a passive skill. In a fight, things happen.- Seeing the afterlife doesn't mean you can die, also you shouldn't take that manga seriously. Or Kaguya really is a damn useless princess.

Okay, the others are justified, but Reimu can access her invincibility whenever she wants. She put a time limit on it for play, but if she wants to she can remove the time limit and keep using her invincibility endlessly. She KNOWS this is a life or death situation. She KNOWS people are dying and everything is going to hell. She KNOWS she needs to set things straight. She KNOWS the goddesses will go batshit once Sanae dies. Reimu isn't idiotic. She would have activated her invincibility before hand and smack down the goddesses by herself without putting Marisa or Alice in danger. Reimu had all the time to prepare for the battle, and there was a huge gap in time between Sanae's death and Reimu's death. Reimu could have activated her invincibility in a mere second once she sees Sanae going down. I repeat: Reimu isn't idiotic. Not only that, Reimu can summon the power of the Gods to kick ass and take names. Again, she could have summoned the power of an even mightier god than Kanako and Suwako to kick reason to the curb, like Amaterasu or Susano-O. She had all the time to prepare. Reimu would also try to end this battle quickly, so she would pull out Fantasy Heaven once the battle starts. You cannot let the Moriyas kill Reimu in such a pathetic way. Almost no one can defeat Reimu in a straight forward life-or-death battle at full power. You need to either kill her in a sneak attack (like kill her in her sleep. Just anything but a straight forward battle) where she can't prepare or let Yukari, Yuugi, Shikieiki or some other uber character with an 'I Win' button kill her.Inaba of the Moon/Earth is an official work, and if you see the afterlife that means your spirit can drift away from your body. Since an immortal's soul is stuck to the mortal plain forever they would never get to see the afterlife. And don't forget that entire 'poison incident' in Ghost Team's ending in IN.

- Having ultimate defense doesn't mean she also have ultimate attack. Also, her best friend, Marisa, died in front of her.- None knows how strong the Hakurei Gods are, to defeat the one who won the Great Suwa War is not that easy.- And your Reimu makes me laugh alot. She is not that strong, despite having that "invincible" spell. Yuuka can kill her with 1 single punch, don't even try to put Fantasy Heaven in, because the flower has "ultimate magic that even ZUN doesn't know about".- The immorality of the Lunarian here is how the soul doesn't fade away, no matter what happen to the body. Yuyuko is also immortal, just that her body is sealed under the tree, so she doesn't have the freedom as the Lunarian.

- Having ultimate defense doesn't mean she also have ultimate attack. Also, her best friend, Marisa, died in front of her.- None knows how strong the Hakurei Gods are, to defeat the one who won the Great Suwa War is not that easy.- And your Reimu makes me laugh alot. She is not that strong, despite having that "invincible" spell. Yuuka can kill her with 1 single punch, don't even try to put Fantasy Heaven in, because the flower has "ultimate magic that even ZUN doesn't know about".- The immorality of the Lunarian here is how the soul doesn't fade away, no matter what happen to the body. Yuyuko is also immortal, just that her body is sealed under the tree, so she doesn't have the freedom as the Lunarian.

- Having ultimate defense does mean you can't be defeated. Reimu might not pack much of a punch, but if she continues to attack relentlessly she will eventually wear her enemy down. For example: one bee sting isn't bad, but hundreds of bee stings in quick succession are deadly. Reimu's first shots can be shrugged off, but eventually you'll start to get tired and weaken under her endless barrage of attacks. In the end you will succumb to her endless assault. That is, however, if she chooses to only use her normal power. If she uses the power of the Gods she packs a lot more punch.- Reimu isn't limited to just the Hakurei God(s). Otherwise her power would be described as 'power to summon the Hakurei God' instead of 'power to summon the Gods'. Reimu has the exact same power as Yorihime, who could summon any God, not just the ones she's faithful to. Yorihime only needed to read up about a god to summon them. Reimu could do the same. She could summon the power of the Okami to take on Kanako and Suwako. And even if she could only summon the Hakurei God, said Hakurei God could take on Yorihime, the one who (quite annoyingly) wiped the floor with the likes of Yukari and Suika. I think that 'proves' the Hakurei God can take on Suwako and Kanako.- Reimu was revealed to be one of the strongest of Gensokyo once she unlocked her power to summon the gods, hinted to be stronger than even Yorihime. Besides, if Reimu wasn't strong she wouldn't be able to do her job well, would she? However, Yuuka isn't a slouch either, and can indeed defeat Reimu easily (at least before Reimu activates her invincibility, but Reimu might die of starvation before she finally manages to exhaust Yuuka).- Yuyuko is dead, which quite different from immortal. Immortality means 'not dying or not being subject to death', but Yuyuko is essentially already 'dead'. She doesn't have a corporeal body anymore like Kaguya or Mokou. You don't call Kaguya or Mokou 'ghosts' either. As a ghost she is actually superior to immortals/Lunarians since her she can't be damaged and can thus be safe from pain, something which the immortals Kaguya and Mokou still suffer from. Everything can fade through her when she wants to. Yuyuko can only pass on if the Saigyou Ayakashi blooms.

Maybe we shouldn't let this discussion go too far. We might get in trouble with the higher-ups otherwise.

- The attack of Hakurei Reimu is nothing to Yasaka Kanako and Moriya Suwako. And zero multiples to whatever is still zero.- Reimu's ability is "Summon Gods", and that's pretty much what every miko can do, however, she can have the strongest power if she summon the god of her shrine. That's what all this summoning gods about, because the Hakurei gods will definitely help Hakurei Reimu the most. Gods are not Reimu's servant, summoning is one thing, having them help her is another.- You cannot use the bridge formula in battles, who said Yukari and Suika could take on Kanako and Suwako?- No, immortality is "always being in his/her world with absolute existence, which can be seen, felt, touched by every other creatures in that world". Yuyuko is already dead, but her soul is still contacted with the world, thus she acquired "immortality". You can't say she is dead when she is eating your food. Or your viewpoint is different from me.

I'll state this:As a fanfic, it completely depends on the author, whatever they want, you should respect it and do not question. The author can discuss the comments and they can ignore them. Therefore, even if they make Cirno OHKO everyone else we should not dig too deep on it. Remember, this is but a fan-fiction anyway.Hoping to see more great, big outline.

As a fanfic, it completely depends on the author, whatever they want, you should respect it and do not question. The author can discuss the comments and they can ignore them. Therefore, even if they make Cirno OHKO everyone else we should not dig too deep on it. Remember, this is but a fan-fiction anyway.Hoping to see more great, big outline.

Exactly.I don't want to see any disrespectful behaviour towards any author just because their fiction disregards 'official' material or whatever. Each author creates their own version of the world they write about and it entirely up to them how they set the rules and bounds of this world.

Touhou Monster Hunter- A short series involving Reimu leading a rag-tag group of hunters who are set to take down the 'Kamijuu of Gensokyo' which are basically Monster-fied versions of Touhou bosses. Reimu's the leader of the party and the miko of the group, Marisa is the mage (or rather Magic Knight), Tohji Shirainu (a male Inugami), is the grappler, Shou is the warrior and Ellen is the healer.

[-Locations-]

- Autumn Wildlands: An odd forest that always bears the color of Autumn. The color of the forest is actually the work of the Triffid Gods, Shizuha Aki and Minoriko Aki, the both of them altering the forest to suit their tastes and likes. Even so, the monsters dwelling within the woods, don't seem to mind much and continue on their merry ways. The "Aki Sisters" (as they've been come to be called) can be found within the Shrine of Harvest located within the heart of the woods. The followers of the Aki Sisters give up food as a form of offering to them, some may even sacrifice non believers to them. In realiity the Akis aren't malicious Kamijuu, and are simply taking advantage of what their followers are doing for them.

- Goukyou Desert: Also known as the Wastelands of the Great Beyond, this vast desert stretches beyond the Autumn Wildlands and surrounds the formiddible Youkai Mountains that is said to be home to the Snake Goddess; Kanako. Somewhere within this desert are the buried ruins of a temple dedicated to the God of Curses, but it has yet to be uncovered.

- Youkai Mountains: Vast mountains that are located beyond the Goukyou Desert. The Tengu reside somewhere within these mountains.

- Tomb of Misfortune: The sunken ruins of a great temple that was built in dedication to the Goddess of Ill-Fortune, Hina. It is said that she once ruled over a select group of youkai followers who worshipped her because she 'absorbs' hexes into her being and thus keeps those close to her safe from harm. However, after taking in so many curses...a vile plauge was unleashed upon her cult and wiped them out, the temple then sank below the sands, and entombed the despairing goddess in her sadness.

- Sunken Vista of Orochi: An underground jungle that was once home to the Lost City of Orochi. The city and the surrounding wilderness sunk belo the mountain during the divine battle for power between Kanako and Suwako. The path here is treacherous and has become the resting place for all adventureres who have sought to fight Kanako. The Lesser God, Sanae Kochiya resides here by order of Kanako, her followers are the civilians of Orochi who had been devastated by the battle between Kanako and Suwako and thus sought out Sanae for protection. They see outsiders as defilers to their God and viciously attack any one they see as foreign.

-Snake's Pike: The tallest mountain peak in the Youkai Mountain region located in the Gouyou Desert. This unforgiving crag is home to a cornicopia of Lamia that are fiercely loyal to their reigning queen, Kanako, who is located at the very top of Snake's Pike. One can easily get here if they survive the dangerosu path through the Lost Vista.

- Ancient Ruins of Yasaka: Ancient ruins of the shrine that houses the powerful Snake Goddess, Kanako. Located at the peak of the Hanyou Mountain, few have ever made it to the ruins themselves, and even then, those who have were swiftly killed and devoured by the goddess. It is believed that the ruins themselves were actually a shrine built for the Toad Goddess, Suwako, but Kanako took over the shrine after besting the former god and thus took control of the temple.

- Kero Kero Valley: A rather dense jungle located just beyond Snake's Pike. while not that dangerous to get to (the path that leads to the valley bypasses all of the dangers Snake's Pike holds), it is still regarded as rather dangerous (perhaps even more dangerous than Snake's Pike), the Kappa reside happily here and are said to help those who managed to escape the Snake Goddess (who will not venture down to this area). Further inside the valley is the Palace of the Toad, the new home of the Frog Goddess; Suwako.

- Palace of the Toad King: A large ancient palace that was once home to a king who worshipped Kanako but was later taken by Suwako and renamed in her favor, the former king was said to have been overthrown and sacrificed to the goddess by the citizens who saw Suwako as more fitting ruler. The palace is all but submerged in the tropical lake that surrounds it, but this seems to be the perfect living conditions for Suwako. The goddess herself isn't malicious by any extent and doesn't mind visitors...so long as they do not speak the name of Kanako in her precense.

- Underworld of Fimblevinter: A colassal ice cavern located within the snowy regions in the northern area of Gensokyo. The frigid tempretures here act as a natrual barrier to those seeking the treasure hidden within these bone chilling caverns. Alongside this, are the fearsome Yeti monsters, whom can only be found within the Underworld of Fimblevinter. Located deep down within the coldest depths of Fimblevinter is the den of the Polar Queen; Letty Whiterock. Although Letty herself is no god, the Yeti see her as such and devote themselves to her. Cirno is Letty's closest ally and is in command of the Yeti who live near Letty.

- Land of Agni: A volcanic wasteland that used to be the other half of the Lost Bamboo Forest, however after the Pheonix Mokou awoke from her slumbe, the forest was engulfed in a volcanic blaze and reduced to what exists there now. Very few youkai can really live here now, only the Ifrit are able to make their nest in this highly volcanic area. The greatest treasure here, can only be found on the body of Mokou, the pheonix's own feathers are as priceless as they are powerful. Selling just one of them is enough to warrant a fortune in return...even so, those who sought her feathers are only given death as a consolation. Somewhere within this wasteland, lies the Gate of Hellfire, the only know pathway that leads to Lord Utsuho's lair; Underpalace of Black Sun.

-Tsukijin Crash Site: A large space station that crashed to earth into the Bamboo Forest long ago. The Youkai Rabbits, startled by the crash went to investigate only to become ensnared within the grasp of the Lunarians and their Moon Rabbit. To keep their existance hidden, the aliens sought to rebuild their residence underground and using the rabbits, they did just that. Many of the known Earth Rabbits stay away from those who are affiliated with the aliens, because they know they will be captured and brainwashed to assist them in their needs...already the oldest and most trusted youkai rabbit; Tewi Inaba, has began helping them...although some believe she is merely leading them along. The psionic extraterristial, Eirin Yagokoro seems to be the most active of the group, her superior is kept in near constant stasis deep within the alien base.

I still might write this though, I only really posted it as a way to show off the outline I had for it. The idea is appealing, but I'll have to hold off until I finish somethings first.

The Dark History of Touhou 1: Yakumo Yukari- My theory about Yukari's background. I'm writing it now, but not gonna finish yet due to the continuation of Touhoumon, so, if anyone interests, feel free to take this.

The Countess Hearn, wife of the leader of a half-youkai-half-human noble family in UK, gave birth to a beautiful child, named Violetta Hearn.In the congratulating party, there was the main rival of the Count: Ulick Norman Owen Scarlet, leader of the Vampire, who used the reason of "Finding the Successor of the Brunestud" to gather a great army to wage war with the human.Violetta revealed her power as "gapping through space" and became a laughing stock of everyone, instantly labelled as a "third class youkai".

In her teen, Violetta went to the youkai school and met Layla Primsriver, who refused to go to Hogwarts for some reason. Layla was a modest, but naughty student, together with Violetta they messed up the school real bad. They became friends and Layla taught Violetta much about how to complicate simple stuffs, which honed Violetta's gapping ability to "beyond imagination".

Because of sickness, Layla passed away not long after they had their 17th birthday party. Mourning over her friend's death, Violetta ignored everything but studying dark magic, in order to bring Layla back. She found the possibility in the East.

At that time, a war broke out, and the Hearn Alliance defeated the Scarlet army with the death of the Count himself, the vampire was being hunted for years after that. Violetta, despite unreasonable fighting and her father's dream of peace, traveled to Japan. She then changed her name to "Yakumo Yukari".

There was a dark time in Japan also, when the youkai beasts were fighting each others to death, and Yukari came exactly at the time of the final battle: Kyuubi against Orochi. Yukari tried to kill both, but failed miserably and almost died. She was saved by a passing girl, who turned out to be the head daughter of a youkai-extermination family, Saigyouji Yuyuko.

Yuyuko had a very strong power, which forced her to be alone of all time, the only one that was with her was Konpaku Youki, a ghost swordmaster. Together, Yukari and Yuyuko killed Orochi and captured Kyuubi. The nine-tailed fox was then brain-washed and became Yukari's shikigami, named Yamuko Ran.

Yuyuko had to sacrifice herself for the sake of her family, which was not approved by Yukari. A fight broke out in the backyard of the Saigyouji, Yukari killed most of the family, gapped Youki to another dimension but failed to save her friend. This event awakened Yukari's true power, and allowed her to bring the whole land to the Netherworld, where souls can form shape. In there, Yukari united with Yuyuko once again.

One day, while having a moon-viewing, Yukari asked Yuyuko if the moon was beautiful. Yuyuko said yes, and she joked that it'd be nice if Yukari can gift her the Moon. Yukari took it too seriously and gather an army, advanced to the Lunar Capital.

The Wakatsukihime at that time were too young to face a powerful youkai, and their leader was gone to Earth, for the tradition of letting the new-born princess travel around the Great Blue Planet. An urgent message was sent, and the leader had to hide the new-born princess in a bamboo forest, then got back to the Moon.

After a month of war, Yagokoro Eirin outwitted Yakumo Yukari completely and drew the youkai back to Earth. Yukari, too shamed of this defeat, didn't go back to Hakugyoukuro but instead traveled around Japan, finding her aim in life.

At that time, the youkai in Japan was being hunted by human, reminding Yukari of her family and her past, therefore she decided to rescue them all.Joining force with the Hakurei, Yukari helped creating the Great Hakurei Boundary and isolated a huge land to be home of youkai, named Gensokyo.

I've been wanting to write a story for Touhou for a while. A few ideas came to mind months ago, and I've been organizing bits and pieces of it since then, but only recently did I actually get around to writing. I don't have a complete flow of events solidified yet (just the direction), and I haven't chosen a name for the story, but if no one minds, I was hoping I could leave this first chapter here as a preview. I'm probably not as experienced with writing stories as most others here, so I can't even say I'm totally familiar with my own writing style (only with what I've done for school papers and such). I know I'll nitpick my way to improvement as I continue with this, but I would love some feedback from you in the meantime.

Ryuu, this is the same story I told you about in IRC that one time, so here's that first scene I mentioned.

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Late autumn always felt dreadful to her. The trees shed their host of colorful leaves, with only the dull brown hue of their barks filling in the surroundings. The mountain air grew colder, whisking away the warmth from her skin with even the gentlest breeze. The looming clouds threatened to bring the first snowfall of the season, which would conceal what beauty remained in Gensokyo. The shifting weather weighed heavily in her heart, as the winter's chill would relentlessly torture her for months.

Tough times were ahead, but she would endure as before. A mild sigh brought her mind into focus, and she grew prepared to tackle this day. Adhering to her routine, the girl reached for the small wooden broom next to the front door. Her dark red eyes tilted to the large crate on her right, in the vain hope that someone had stumbled across her shrine and left an offering in the night. She raised her free hand to the red bow in her black hair and gave it a brief tug before opening the door. An icy gust greeted the girl as she stepped onto the porch, yet the air felt as cold as it did inside. It was something she had lived with for years – the old-fashioned shrine could not ward of the cold, and it never received enough money to fund anything beyond its normal worshiping services. The state of the shrine mirrored the misery of the autumn weather. Yet here its shrine maiden stood, prepared to sweep the balcony clean of the crumpled leaves that would displease and discourage her sparse visitors from donating. It would not take as much effort with the wind acting up, though the girl prayed it would deliver no additional debris either.

A few modest brushes cleared the space by the door, when another gust blew from the side, ruffling her red dress. The chill crawled up her arms, so she tightened the upper bands of her white, detached sleeves to ease the bite of the wind. Before she could resume sweeping, a soft snore caught her attention. A glance to the left confirmed whom she expected – a small girl, the shrine's "houseguest", laid on the porch, her head and arms sprawled over the edge. Anxious to finish cleaning, the shrine maiden decided it best to wake her visitor. She walked over, removing the leaves in her path, and tapped the sleeping girl's left shoe with the stick of the broom, garnering no response. Impatient, she twice struck the girl's leg. The shrine maiden did not want her guest to give her much trouble on this already miserable day.

The sleeping girl shifted and moaned as she woke. Her head reeled upward almost as quickly as she had reeled back into consciousness, and her thin, shackled arms supported her diminutive frame as she sat upright. She brought her right hand to her long, ginger hair and brushed it between the two brown horns protruding from her head. The visitor remained groggy, and her eyes squinted as she humored her host with the usual greeting: "Morning already?"

"Yes, Suika," the shrine maiden stoically answered. "Don't get too comfortable where you are. I have to clean there soon."

"Okay," the guest replied. She rubbed her right eye in an effort to ward off her sleepiness, but she knew the shrine maiden's requests had to come before all else. Suika swiped her white, sleeveless blouse as she moved her arm down to the floor, and she bent her legs inward, being careful not to catch them inside her long, purple skirt. A forceful shove lifted her to her feet in a flash, the system of chains on her waist clanking as she stood. The rapid movement proved costly for the small girl, as she grew dizzy and briefly stumbled on her left foot, almost ramming the shrine maiden. She soon regained her balance and breathed a light sigh of relief.

In spite of this episode, Suika rushed for a decorated purple canister on her waist, flinging it to her mouth in a heartbeat. Several gulps finally brought a smile to her face, and she held the container to her host. "Drink, Reimu?"

"No thanks," the shrine maiden declined. "It's too early for someone like me to have any alcohol." Reimu was familiar with her guest's antics, so she refused to let them impede her tasks more than they already had. She turned around and continued sweeping the balcony, silently cursing a gust of wind that dirtied Suika's sleeping spot.

"Ah, isn't this weather lovely?" Suika praised, hoping to strike up a conversation. "It reminds me so much of home."

Reimu did not hesitate in her duties, but felt that a dose of small talk would not hurt. "Your home is underground, and you're not a human like I am. Your tastes are just too different. I already want summer back. Or at least early autumn."

"But you're lucky," Suika countered. "You got this great mountain air to keep you company. It's not nearly as fresh in the Ancient City." The small girl joyously took a deep breath, earning a jealous stare from the shrine maiden.

"I only wish I found it as comfortable as you do. But even if you took my place for one winter, you'd never understand my position. You're a youkai." Reimu was nearing the end of the porch, and she was pleased to see her work going somewhere, even as Suika conversed with her.

However, what sense of satisfaction she possessed was short-lived. As Reimu swept the last of the leaves from her side of the balcony, a sharp jolt sprung from below. She made the connection instantly, and she gasped in horror when she realized what was happening – it was an earthquake! She dropped her broom and clasped tightly to a nearby post before the shaking changed directions. Everything rocked back and forth, though not strongly enough to throw the shrine maiden off her feet. Instead, Reimu fell into a greater state of turmoil.

"No, not again! My shrine!" she exclaimed in a panic. Every motion taunted her, stirring up painful memories of the last earthquake that struck her shrine. The odds-and-ends inside the building rattled, and the framework creaked under the stress. But Reimu could not bring herself to let go of the support – even if the shrine came crashing down on her, the very thought of such a disaster left her paralyzed. She could only pray for the earthquake to end, and to end now.

To Reimu's delight, the ground settled in a short time. The girl could stand unhindered, and the grip she held on the beam loosened. The only thing that calmed her nerves was the sight of her shrine, intact and stable. No doubt, it suffered some damage inside, but such minor hardly mattered. The building had dodged a bullet in Reimu's eyes, and she felt nothing but relief. She did not need any more reasons to concern over her dilapidated shrine.

Reimu managed to collect herself, her heavy breaths giving way to elated sighs. A cute squeal snapped her from the trance, and her attention fell to the shrine's houseguest. Suika sat by the door, arms spread in the air and exhilaration written all over her face. "Let's do that again!" she cried.

It felt like a sadistic joke, yet Reimu fought back a chuckle. She would not have forgiven her visitor if Suika were anyone else. "My workload for the day has been doubled, and here you are, treating an earthquake like a walk among the cherry blossoms," she quipped. "It amazes me how youkai can approach things so differently from humans."

Suika could tell that immense pressure threatened to crush her friend. The shrine had fallen victim to earthquakes in the past, and from what Suika observed, Reimu did not take to the collapses very well. The least she could do was alleviate her host's tense nature.

"Reimu", she began in her best attempt at a soothing voice, "moumantai."

Perhaps she failed in her choice of words – her counsel garnered a befuddled expression from the shrine maiden. Such a phrase held little significance when no one else understood its meaning, or knew that the word existed in the first place. Suika would not let the gaffe stop her, however.

"You worry too much," she said as she brought herself to her feet. "No lousy earthquake can stop someone like you. Any incident is a bigger threat. Besides, we can always rebuild the shrine, just as if it was never destroyed. Nothing to fret about here," she confidently concluded.

Reimu grinned on the inside, as she admired the girl's effort to lift her spirits. But it wasn't just the building collapsing that haunted her thoughts. The cost of remaking her shrine left her in tremendous hardship, and it became a small miracle to maintain her services for another month. It was a very real crisis, and it was something that only she could handle.

"I appreciate your help, Suika, but it runs deeper than that," Reimu courteously replied. She sighed and looked down sympathetically at her houseguest. "I'm sorry. You'd never understand my position. You're a youkai."

A cold breeze drifted across the balcony, reminding the shrine maiden of her unfinished chores. Reimu promptly turned for her broom – the leaves would not blow themselves away, after all, and the earthquake created its own inconveniences. Winter lay right around the corner, and Reimu already sensed that it would be rough, but she would endure as before.

Suika struggled to revive the conversation, so to pass the time she reached for the purple jar on her waist. She sipped her sake and once again held it out to her host. "Drink, Reimu?"

*********************************

Again, I want feedback. Tell me where I can improve, or if you're even remotely interested in this story. I'm of the position to save posting the whole thing for when it's completely done, even though the convention in fanfiction appears to be "write and post as you go". Me and my perfectionism want to avoid things like major plotholes, you see. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed this preview.

« Last Edit: October 03, 2010, 04:29:49 pm by Funen1 »

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"Science is more than a body of knowledge. It's a way of thinking." - Carl Sagan

"Reimu", she began in her best attempt at a soothing voice, "moumantai."

* Hanna-Justina Ruroseille froths at the mouth.

Apart from that sudden blast from the past-- I find it interesting that Reimu just can't seem to get over the fact that Suika is a youkai. She also speaks a bit... formally, shall we say (and Suika even more so, but I guess we can just chalk that up to high alcohol tolerance). I'm much more interested in the fact that Reimu cannot forget the line dividing herself and youkai. Please continue!

It's nice to see something besides slurred drunken Suika or apathetic bitchy Reimu. Although, as mentioned, the attention given to Reimu's 'Youkai/Human' distinction is a bit odd, given that most of the people in Gensokyo that she normally associates with are Youkai to begin with. Despite this, though, it gives us a tool for looking into the psyche of Reimu and whatnot.

This could end up going somewhere, and I wanna see it when it gets there.

It's nice to see something besides slurred drunken Suika or apathetic bitchy Reimu. Although, as mentioned, the attention given to Reimu's 'Youkai/Human' distinction is a bit odd, given that most of the people in Gensokyo that she normally associates with are Youkai to begin with. Despite this, though, it gives us a tool for looking into the psyche of Reimu and whatnot.

It's something that I believe is referenced only on occasion in canon, but youkai are said to think and approach things differently than humans (more sources would help though). I know SA is one example: your various youkai partners dismiss what happened with Utsuho when they find out Kanako's intentions for using her, while Reimu continues complaining about how everyone else handled the whole situation (sending her to Hell and such). The only other example I can think of right now is Alice, who according to PMiSS is "considerate towards humans and still behaves as one of them would," but only because she is young for a youkai (suggesting that her behavior is not the norm). I know it seems kind of like a loose connection all around, but I want to say it's something that isn't explored or discussed as much among fans.

In the context of my story, Suika is the oni that enjoys drinking and partying, and she comes and goes from places as she pleases. She's a (relatively) long-lived, supernatural being who would have no need to concern over things like money, just personal satisfaction (and her position as a youkai lets her get away with it). Reimu is the opposite, since she has duties toward maintaining the Great Boundary. And admit it, being confined to a building that gets really cold during the winter would not be enjoyable. Youkai are much tougher, and someone like Suika would just drink it off. I might edit how much Reimu focuses on the differences in this chapter, but it's still something that I plan to touch on throughout the story.

« Last Edit: October 03, 2010, 08:12:22 pm by Funen1 »

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"Science is more than a body of knowledge. It's a way of thinking." - Carl Sagan

I thought Reimu's whole "youkai=enemy" thing was pretty interesting, too, when she hangs out with them herself. I don't think I've seen any fanworks delving into this topic, so I'll be watching this thread

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☆ Check my profile for links to my sites! ☆[21:12] <OneLoveOnePurvis> *Black as hell and bitter as love. That is coffee.*[17:42] <Amra> Himiko's one of the people that's really cute but sometimes art shifts into like hard jojo-style [17:42] <Amra> as she does something out of character

As a reminder, this thread is more of a preview to the story rather than the main topic I will update it in. Unless I feel like writing it is taking too long, I'll stick to waiting until it's finished before posting, and most likely I'll make a new topic (because no matter what it'll be a fair amount of time until the next updates). Thanks to the feedback I got so far, I now have a few ideas for how to edit this chapter. But I would certainly like some more. I know there's not much of the story to work with right now, but is there anything else I could fix? Any descriptions that could be described better? Any portions that flowed a bit awkwardly (compared to the rest)?

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"Science is more than a body of knowledge. It's a way of thinking." - Carl Sagan

As she settles into Gensokyo, the land of fantasy, Sanae's ability to interpret the difference between fantasy and reality starts to blur a little. One day, shortly after the unveiling of Suwako's Hisou Tensoku giant robot thing, she decides that obviously she has suddenly become the lead of a sentai anime. Realizing that she has so far fallen significantly short of the requirements of such a role, she immediately designs a costume and mask, then goes out to browbeat/persuade various others into joining her Struggle against Evil. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Yukari is more than amused at this turn of events and is perfectly willing to play along as the Big Bad. She immediately goes out to browbeat/persuade various others into joining her Evil Collective of Evil. Things go from there.

Aaaand, that's all I have for this idea. So, uh, throw details at me, I guess?

well, first you need to decide the type of mooks the "good" guys will be facing. Regular fairies that can be beaten with a few punches, or fairies that are hit with a grow spell so the heroes will need a mecha to fight them?

At some point, there will be a Hisou Tensoku versus Neo Goliath Doll showdown. Do not doubt this. With any luck, someone with either pixel art skills or a scanner will draw it. I have neither, sadly.

I was more looking for arguments on who should/shouldn't be dragooned into this, and on which side. Alice is already marked up for Yukari, specifically so the above scene can happen, but aside from that I'm open to suggestions, but would prefer that power levels stay mostly even. Like, if Mokou goes to one side, Kaguya or Eirin would probably have to go to the other, just for example.

On the other hand, not averse to Team ⑨ versus the Ex-Boss squad or something similar, either. I can probably work with that.

hmmm, I keep having the image of the technological Gensokians as some sort of quirky boss squad or something... you talking about Mokou suddenly make me think of Kotohime drop kicking Mokou and keeping her down with Mokou not really understanding what's going on.

... actually, I'm not thinking straight, need some sleep.

Reimu on the role of the Green Ranger riding a Giant Suika to save the team?