All 274 gifts given to Barack Obama between 2009 and 2012, ranked

As President Obama turns 53 on Monday, here are three wishes he might make as he blows out his candles. (Julie Percha/The Washington Post)

One of the nice things about being the most powerful person in the world is that people give you presents. It's unlikely that gifts from foreign countries do much to sway American diplomacy, but foreign visitors bestowing cumbersome or weird gifts is almost certainly one of the more entertaining parts of President Obama's job. He doesn't get to keep the gifts, mind you; they're usually spirited away by the National Archives and Records Administration. But imagine someone showing up and handing you a four-by-five-foot rug with your own face on it, as Russia did in 2009. That's good stuff.

On the occasion of Barack Obama's 53rd birthday, we decided to review each and every one of the 274 gifts given to the president between 2009 and 2012 by foreign countries and their leaders. (Gifts like the blanket in the image above aren't included, but 13 other blankets from other countries are.) The lists are maintained by the State Department's Protocol Gift Unit, which has not yet released the 2013 gift list. So we used what we had, breaking each gift down by donor, by value, and, yes, by quality, ranking them all on a scale from 1 to 100 and sorting them. (The full list is at the bottom of this post.)

First, the top-lines. Counting only gifts given to the president or to the president and other members of his family, foreign countries and their representatives have given Obama over $717,000 worth of stuff since he was inaugurated. (The first gift came on inauguration day, from Mexico. It was a book and a piece of art.) According to our index of all of the gifts, the best swag came in 2011.

It's really a funny collection of presents, for which, were you asked To what sort of person was this gift given?, you'd likely have a wide variety of responses. Argentina gave Obama a silver dagger in a display box in 2012, perhaps confusing the president with their 13-year-old nephew. Britain gave the family a shawl and some kids clothes in 2009, playing the role of America's eccentric aunt. China offered a vase and pin set emblazoned with "Expo 2010 Shanghai China," like an exhausted dad picking something up on his way out of the convention.

Most of the gifts are art or vases or rugs, the sort of generic stuff that we imagine wealthy people lay on each other at mansion-warming parties. You have to feel sort of bad for some of the countries, clearly giving things that they hoped would end up as part of White House tours but instead were likely relegated to wooden crates in warehouses.

To cut to the chase: Here are the top- and lowest-rated items on the lengthy list. We will admit some prejudices: electronics were rated poorly, generic furnishings were given middle-of-the-pack ratings, and things involving dogs were rated well. (Disagree? Click here.) And so:

The five best

1. A five-inch Aztec calendar in silver, given by Mexico in 2012.Mexico is very good at giving gifts, as it turns out. Why did this particular gift earn top marks? Because: 1. Aztec calendars are cool. 2. A five-inch silver piece is not chintzy. 3. They gave this in 2012, when the world was at peak end-of-the-world mania. This gift was on-trend. Nicely done, Mexico.

2. A Maori club, given by New Zealand in 2011. The full description: "11.5″ x 4″ traditional Maori weapon with a short broad-bladed club, made of the sacred greenstone." Which sounds cool. Now, go look at it. We rest our case.

3. A ping-pong table, given by the UK in 2012. The United Kingdom's gifts were a bit scattered, but the ping-pong table is a winner. You can see it here, as part of an article complaining that it was made in China. The Obamas didn't set the thing up in the White House, it seems, but it should have. The White House could use a more chill vibe.

4. Four bottles of tequila and a silver ark in a trunk, from Mexico in 2009. Four bottles of tequila. That is a good gift. If you're curious what happened to the booze, the State Department offers a hint: "Perishable Items Handled Pursuant to U.S. Secret Service Policy." Presumably meaning like this.

5. A stainless steel watch, a brooch, and a ceramic dog bowl from the Czech Republic in 2009. The Czech Republic got a gift for Bo. It wasn't the only country to do so, but that is adorable.

The five worst

270. A Blu-Ray disc set in a wooden display box, given by Russia in 2010 Thanks, Russia.

271. A Samsung Galaxy Tab and a stereo video cable and a Galaxy Tab charger from South Korea in 2010. "Do we have a gift for Obama?" "What? You were supposed to bring it!" (agitated fumbling) "Driver, are there any Verizon stores between here and the White House?"

272. A Creative MP3 player and "uGoGo electronic pulse massager" from Singapore in 2010.Who was giving MP3 players as gifts in 2010? This was three years after the iPhone came out, which, even if your country isn't making iPhones, you should at least recognize. You know who gave MP3 players as gifts in 2010? Grandparents who got hustled by jerk salespeople at Best Buy.

And we're not going to discuss the massager.

273. A CD holder and some CDs, given by Russia in 2009.Again, thanks, Russia.

274. A swag bag for the game "Witcher 2" from Poland in 2011."Witcher 2" was a well-received video game that came out around the time of the gift and was made in Poland. OK, fine. But, Poland went a bit over the top in pitching the game to the president. To wit:

DVD: "Best of the Witcher 2: Video Trailers for President Barack Obama."

This is an incomplete list. The president, we believe, did not put the Gwynbleioo bust in the Oval Office. Poland did come through with some vodka, but that can't make up for the rest of it.

The next time Obama was in Poland, by the way, he couldn't help but mention the gift. He was apparently not being sarcastic.

Before we dump the entire 274-gift ranking on you, two other bits of data.

Value of gifts

No country spent more money on gifts than Italy (thanks, Silvio!), and it wasn't even close. One-fifth of the value of all of the gifts came from Italy, which is pretty impressive, given how poorly Italy's gifts were rated.

Our average rating

As above. Again, we gave every gift a rating from 0 to 100 (though the high was actually 83 and the low 7). Then we averaged the values for all of the gifts, by country, giving the map above. The best gifts, on average, came from New Zealand. The worst, from Singapore.

But honorable mention to Denmark! Denmark on two separate occasions gave Obama signed portraits of its Queen and prince. "Here is a picture of me" is a bad gift once. But twice? Come on, Denmark.

Anyway, here's the full listing. See something that's worse than a "Witcher 2" gift set? No, you don't.

6. France, 2011: Crystal golf statuette by Baccarat, depicting a golfer with his iron pitched over his head in the moment before striking a ball. Crystal golf statuette by Baccarat, depicting a golfer with his iron out in front in a followthrough posture. Black Hermes golf travel bag with canvas cover and carrying strap.

8. Germany, 2009: 14″ x 14″ Bauhaus chess set, with a lightly-colored wood board and pieces carved into the shape of their allowed movements on the board, contained in a carrying box with sliding top, designed by Josef Hartwig.

10. UK, 2011: One silver Links Sweetie Bracelet with an "M" charm, enclosed in a black velvet bag and inside a cream colored box. One silver Links Sweetie Bracelet with an "S" charm, enclosed in a black velvet bag and inside a cream colored box. 13″ bone-shaped chew toy with United Kingdom flag.

11. Sri Lanka, 2011: Six pouches of coffee contained in a 14″ x 9.5″ x 5″ wooden box, interior is red velvet and divided into six compartments, each containing a small wicker box, includes a depiction of the American flag with an eagle in the foreground made from precious and semiprecious stones, includes a 9″ x 7″ frame with a gold plaque. Diamond-shaped cufflinks, made from 10-karat white gold and inset with nine blue sapphires each, presented in a 5.25″ x 5.5″ x 2.5″ wooden box.

12. Armenia, 2010: 16″ × 16″ walnut chessboard with walnut and sterling silver chess pieces, presented in a wooden presentation box. Book, title: "He Flies Through the Air with the Greatest of Ease." 9.5″ dark green bust of author William Saroyan on brown stone base with inscription, presented in a wooden presentation box. Bottle of 100 year old Ararat brandy, presented in wooden presentation box.

13. Czech Republic, 2009: Gold medal created by the Czech mint featuring an image of President Obama.

17. Spain, 2009: Book entitled "Barcelona & Catalonia"; framed currency entitled "The United Colonies, Four Dollars", printed in Philadelphia in 1776 and documents of the Santa Fe Capitulations in a grey velvet case.

22. Mongolia, 2011: Book, title: "The Secret History of the Mongol Queens," by Jack Weatherford. Three Mongolian cashmere sweaters in pink and green, and purple and brown pattern; 16″ x 27.5″ framed artwork of the First Lady’s name in Mongolian calligraphy. Large Gobi Mongolian oatmeal-colored cashmere shawl.

27. UK, 2009: Black and gold pen with a wooden pen holder, made from the wood of the HMS Gannet in Chatham; book entitled "Churchill and America" by Martin Gilbert; book entitled "Churchill: A Life" by Martin Gilbert; book set entitled "Biography of Winston S. Churchill," by Martin Gilbert.

36. Australia, 2011: Green and white 2GB iPod Shuffle. Sherrin Match Australian football. Red, white, and blue Western Bulldogs Australian Football League on a field jersey; Red, white, and blue "U.S. Footy" football jersey with "USA Revolution" on the front and "25" on the back. Handcrafted 2.5″ x 4″ x 6″ Dragonfly silver ash wood trinket box with "Wood Works Gallery" sticker on bottom, presented in brown box with "Australia" sticker on top.

49. Mexico, 2011: 31.5″ x 39″ oil painting, title: "The Celebrate" by artist Rene Jimenez, depicting a turkey’s face and neck, float-mounted in a red wooden frame. Large painting made up of nine panels titled "The Day and Night— in the White House" by Rene Jimenez, depicting Thanksgiving at the White House. 60 polychrome prints of the painting "The Day and Night—in the White House," each in a white envelope with a black monochrome image of the U.S. Capitol.

50. Brunei, 2012: Silver filigree bowl with raised floral designs around the bowl, pedestal base, a polished band around the center with inscription, and lid with knob on top.

51. Brazil, 2011: 10″ diameter wooden globe by Eduardo Eleuterio with a cutout of Brazil. Photo album containing 37 photographs of the President during his visit with President Rousseff of the Federative Republic of Brazil, photo album has a hardcover and a medal that reads "Republica Federativa do Brasil/15 de Nov. de 1889".

57. Indonesia, 2011: Special edition book, title: "The Colors of Harmony: A Photography Journey" by Ani Yudhoyono. Two silver sculptures of birds mounted on a maroon velvet stand. One bird is 7″ tall and 4″ long and the other bird is 4.5″ tall and 6″ long. Piece is encased in a 15.25″ x 3.5″ x 8.5″ glass case and housed in a 17.25″ x 5.25″ x 10.75″ orange decorative canvas box. Red hand embroidered batik scarf with a multicolor floral design.

58. Burma, 2012: 30″ x 18″ framed painting of a city at sunset, painted by donor.

71. France, 2011: 3″ gold coin, "Deauville" embossed with scene of the ocean and an umbrella on the front and "Barack Obama" engraved with several scenes of Deauville on the back, enclosed in 3.5″ x 3.5″ presentation box with a clear plastic display stand. 36″ x 36″ Hermes silk Deauville scarf, with design of a scene of horse race in gray, blue, and brown.

102. Russia, 2009: Painting entitled "Natalia Pushkina" by Alexander Pavlovich Brullov, reproduction of a portrait of Alexander Pushkin’s wife; porcelain doll designed by Anastasia Chizhova; framed replica of the address by the people of North American States to Alexander II; reproductions of letters between Emperor Alexander II and President Lincoln; lace tablecloth with twelve matching placemats; porcelain tea set made at the Imperial Porcelain Factory in Saint Petersburg.

119. Burkina Faso, 2011: 27″ brass statue of a woman carrying a water jug on her head and a small child on her back. 25″ brass statue of a man wearing a conical hat and carrying a stick over his shoulders that suspends two water jugs, each jug and "rope" is detachable from the statue.

120. China, 2009: Porcelain sculpture of five oxen.

121. Sri Lanka, 2010: 20″ × 20″ painting of First Family in a wooden frame with semi-precious stones and a presentation plaque

179. South Korea, 2011: Book, title: "The Uncharted Path: An Autobiography" authored by President Lee Myung-bak. 12.5″ white porcelain plate, with painted images of the President and First Lady, contained within a 14″ x 14″ x 6″ mahogany box with golden turtle latch and iridescent depictions of birds. 14″ x 5.5″ 10.5″ black lacquer box inlaid with mother of pearl, and box is decorated with iridescent scenes of sailboats, birds, and scenery of the landscape of the Republic of Korea, both contained inside a 15″ x 6″ x 11.5″ blue presentation box.

180. China, 2009: Large porcelain jar; decorative fan with images of butterflies; small white and pink tea set; one green and blue glass jar in the shape of a kneeling water buffalo.

193. Thailand, 2009: Silver box imprinted with the insignia of the Kingdom of Thailand.

194. Saudi Arabia, 2009: Large desert scene on a green veined marble base featuring miniature figurines of gold palm trees and camels; large gold medallion with the Royal seal in a green leather display box; large brass and glass clock by Jaeger-LeCoultre in a green leather display case.

211. India, 2009: Book entitled "Stories from the Panchatantra"; book entitled "Ancient Tales of Wit and Wisdom"; book entitled "The Puffin Treasury of Modern Indian Stories"; book entitled "A History of Ancient and Early Medieval India"; book entitled "The Gandhi Collection: History in the Making: The Visual Archives of Kulwant Roy."

227. Indonesia, 2011: Black leather and multi-colored batik-bound padfolio, embossed with "19th ASEAN Summit and Related Summits, Bali—Indonesia, 17–19 November 2011" in gold lettering, accompanied by an ASEAN writing pad, a silver bookmark decorated with a "Bali Dancer," an Indonesia 2011 lapel pin, and a Montblanc pen, all contained in a gold-colored presentation box. ASEAN Summit green batik Leader’s shirt in orange, red, black, white, gold, and green. 31″ x 23″ framed oil portrait of the Chiefs of State who attended the East Asia Summit in Indonesia in November 2011 with the words: "East Asia Summit in Indonesia November 2011."

228. Italy, 2009: Large crystal table with an image of the American Flag.

231. Bahrain, 2010: 8″ × 10″ Christolfe silver picture frame with a photograph of President Obama at a table with officials of the Kingdom of Bahrain.

232. Canada, 2011: Basketball, signed by 2010–2011 Toronto Raptors NBA basketball team, in a 10″ x 10″ hardplastic display case, presented in a 14.5″ x 22.5″ green leather- bound box that has the Prime Minister seal on the top. 23.25″ x 18.25″ golden-framed 19th Century antique map of North America, surrounded by drawings of North American Indians, beavers, and other images, and drawn by Tallis & Co.

235. Mexico, 2011: Two volume set about the diary of Frida Kahlo, printed by the Bank of Mexico. This volume is a limited edition of 3000 for three Mexican art museums. Volume One: "Transcriptions," bound in 1⁄4 leather, is a Spanish language transcription. Volume Two: "Poems," bound in full embossed blue leather, is a 92-page full-color facsimile of one of Kahlo’s diaries.

236. Qatar, 2011: 11″ x 20″ x 12″ wooden display case containing a small sword, the top of the case displays the seal of the State of Qatar and reads, "Fight Against Corruption."

237. Morocco, 2009: Nine books related to the history and culture of Morocco.

238. Morocco, 2011: 5′ x 4′ framed black and white photograph of a child looking down and wrapped in an American flag, given to commemorate the 10th Anniversary of the September 11th attacks.

246. Denmark, 2009: 9.5″ × 12″ wood-framed photograph of Her Majesty and His Royal Highness. Set of two books on Danish history.

247. Croatia, 2010: Gena black three-piece suit

248. Jordan, 2011: Wooden candle holder comprised of two spheres on top of one another with white designs containing candle in center; Wooden candle holder comprised of three rectangular figures on top of one another with white designs.

252. Australia, 2012: Australian flag presented in custom box made of Australian wood.

253. Russia, 2011: 11″ x 10″ wooden box, lined with green velvet, has "the President" and "Barack Obama" embossed on top of a green name plate, contains a DVD titled, "Formula of Power" with the President’s picture on the front of the case. 19.125″ x 17.8125″ miniature enamel painting of the Moscow Kremlin, enclosed in a copper frame.

254. UN, 2011: 9″ diameter Tiffany & Co. Revere Pewter bowl, engraved with "Ban Ki-moon Secretary-General United Nations" on one side and the Secretary’s signature and United Nations logo on the other, presented in turquoise cloth bag with "Tiffany Co" printed on top.

259. UK, 2009: Purple shawl made with Harris Tweed Hebrides fabric; assorted children’s clothing including three shirts, two pairs of sunglasses, two skirts, one belt, one blazer, one pair of jeans, and two wooden bead necklaces.