Harry’s Yoda Description

The master of the Force, Yoda, is the most powerful Jedi knight in galactic history.

In the eyes of an unknowing villain Yoda may seem an easy fight, but anyone who knows him will defy that. His furrowed brow makes it seem as though he is always contemplating something. His emerald rocklike nose somehow adorns his thick, leathery skin! Green elvish ears stick out of his almost mucous green head at right angles. Rare tufts of white hair creep out of his wrinkled head, so, to the unsuspecting eye he may appear as a goblin granny! His dwarfish stature gets him dirty looks in the street but as he once quoted:’Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the force, and a powerful ally it is.’

Appearances are deceptive. Yoda included! His elderly appearance is most defiantly not the case. Aided by the force, he flips, turns and gyrates with ease. His huge leaps over great distances are ended when his minuscule legs connect, soundlessly with solid ground. Yet that is only when he is fighting. When he is not he is nowhere near as agile, his shuffleis incredibly slow and, believe it or not he uses a walking stick!

His deep, gruff and husky voice is slow and worn out. He speaks in Yodic, a variation of English, just in a different order.

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11 thoughts on “Harry’s Yoda Description”

You have clearly thought carefully about your arrangement of sentences, a variety of complex, compound and simple as well as sentence openers, well done! The flow that this has created with your writing keeps the reader interested and reading on for more rather than losing interest with lots of longer sentences. I found it particularly effective when you stated ‘Appearances are deceptive.’ as a simple sentence and then went on to expand on this idea.

You first sentence works well as the beginning of an introduction but I would really like to see this area expanded upon. An introduction is a space where you can summarise your topic and just give an overview of the main ideas which you will then write more about later on. You begin well by introducing the character and giving us his background and from there I would like a bit about his personality, weapons, looks and any other key information. The talent here though is providing enough to get us interested, but not too much that there’s no point in reading the rest! Here is my attempt at an introduction for your piece:

‘The master of the Force, Yoda, is the most powerful Jedi knight in galactic history. Among many of his talents, he is known for his legendary wisdom, mastery of the Force and unmatched skills in lightsaber combat. Whilst others may misunderstand Yoda’s unusual style of speech and unexpected appearance, he fights for what he believes is in the interest of others. Yoda is a force for good. Passing on his knowledge, his heart has always been destined to teach new Jedi pupils and ensure they fully understood, and were united with, the force.’

Hopefully my example shows you some of what I mean about having hints at things you will later mention in your piece of writing. There are probably too many complex sentences for my liking but the language is what we were focussing on. Often an introduction to a piece is something that needs editing the most as the journey of your writing may change as you go and the introduction needs to fit carefully. Of course, with planning, you should have some idea where it is going already!

Overall, this is a very strong piece of writing and I can see how much you are listening to feedback and applying – this is fantastic! The ending to your piece is concise and serves a point, a lovely way to do it. The reader has just read all about Yoda and is entirely aware of the character and so, in the end, you draw their attention to the fact that Yoda is a force to be reckoned with!