Evil Spatula (transcript)

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Mr. Krabs: Just a couple more additives, SpongeBob. (Mr. Krabs dumps the ingredients in the barrel. The smell and aroma causes SpongeBob's face to disenegrate and his nose disappeared. Mr. Krabs is seen wearing a nurse's mask.) Oh and try not to breathe the fumes.

SpongeBob: Is it Toxic Patty Tuesday?

Mr. Krabs: Barnacles, no. (shows a lot of dirty money bills) The customers keep passing off their dirty money. So we're cooking up the only solution powerful enough to clean it.

SpongeBob: Well then, let's get cleaning.

Mr. Krabs: Hold on, kiddo. We still have one more ingredient. (Takes out a bottle of Disulfide, SpongeBob takes the bottle and takes the lid off.)

SpongeBob: How much do we need?

Mr. Krabs: Careful, SpongeBob! Just two drops and that stuff could...

SpongeBob: Got it. Two drops... (Squeezes out some drops in the barrel. A loud explosion occurs and SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are smeared in black and their faces are blown up.)

Mr. Krabs: ...blow our faces off.

(A ringing is heard. SpongeBob looks at the fax machine.)

SpongeBob: Fax coming through, boss.

Mr. Krabs: We can get it later.

(Fax prints out Plankton)Plankton:(laughs maniacally) Infiltration achieved. Phase one, complete. (Jumps down and goes to kitchen) Now for phase two. (Saws a slit in SpongeBob's spatula and blows away the dust) Sabotage!

SpongeBob:(Looking at broken handle that Mr. Krabs is holding. Dramatic music plays) I'll never forget you.

Mr. Krabs:(Slaps SpongeBob away) Quit that, boy. It's creepy. Spatulers can't talk.(Walking back to his office) And if I catch yous talking to your next one, I'll lock you up in a padded kitchen. (At Harvey's Spatula Emporium)

Plankton:(laughs) Just like clockwork. The twerp approaches. (SpongeBob whistling)Time for phase three. (Boosts up with jet pack and leaves the store. Flies into one of SpongeBob's pores and flies back out another, landing face down on the ground. Groans and mumbles)

Plankton: Oh, just picking up one of these. (Holds up red circular object) Not that you'd know what it is.

SpongeBob: Well, judging from its diameter and vermillion color, I am looking at the handle cap for a vintage Grill Force 700 Spatula.

Plankton: Wow! A fellow spatula enthusiast, I see. You're right, SpongeBob. But with a few modifications, it'll serve as the end-cap for my SizzleMaster.

SpongeBob: Well, I've never even heard of that model.

Plankton: Well, there is only one. And some say it has magical grilling powers.
SpongeBob: Wow! I must know more.

Plankton: Well, you could come over and check it out.

SpongeBob: That sounds thrilling! But I do need to hurry back to work.

Plankton:(Knocking on SpongeBob) SpongeBob, it's a magical spatula with a legend. This is a one-in-a-lifetime experience. (Jumps onto SpongeBob's hat) Onward to the Chum Bucket! (laughs) Hey it's this way, kid. (SpongeBob's legs rotate and he walks the other direction)(At the Chum Bucket. Plankton and SpongeBob are standing at the doorway of the spatula room)

SpongeBob:(gasps) Wow. This is the greatest spatula collection on the whole sea floor.

Plankton: These are nothing compared to...(claps 3 times. Spotlight turns on and spatula rises in a container)...the majestic SizzleMaster! (SpongeBob sings in a heavenly choir voice and draws the outline of the spatula with his hand)

Plankton: Yes, SpongeBob. I believe the SizzleMaster has found its fry cook in you!(Kicks glass cover off of the spatula. Glass shatters) The legend of the SizzleMaster has been fulfilled. (Gives the spatula to SpongeBob) And since your are its fry cook, it will reduce your workload tenfold!

SpongeBob: Hey, that rhymes. Almost. (Walks out of the Chum Bucket)

Plankton: Yes, a legend has been fulfilled today. Go forth, SpongeBob. Wouldn't want you to miss the lunch rush. (Now talking more sinisterly) Or as I like to call it, "Phase 4."

Karen: Phase 4? (Rolls up next to Plankton) How many phases are there in this convoluted plan?

Plankton: Enough, my sarcastic wife. Enough to gain SpongeBob's trust, then steal the Krabby Patty formula right from under his dumb yellow nose! (Now standing at a control panel. Laughs) Now to tune in SpongeBoob.

SpongeBob:(laughs) You're such a joyful being, SizzleMaster. Here's that litter box you said you'd clean. (Tosses spatula into the litter box)

Plankton:(As SizzleMaster)(Sniffs. Gah!) Karen! I thought I told you not to put smell sensors on the spatula! (The next morning. SpongeBob's foghorn alarm goes off. SizzleMaster flips SpongeBob out of bed)