New Katie & Old Katie & Old Katie

Before we begin today’s Tom and Katie divorce coverage, let’s start on a lighter note. My friend Caleigh sent this awesome reminder of amazingness out to a few of us yesterday and I thought you might like it too. June 2000. There is so much happening here I can’t even...

By all means, take a few moments ...

That, of course, was the Old Katie. Or the old Old Katie. Old Old Katie was Josephine Potter. The New Katie is ferocious mother of Suri and opponent of Tom Cruise, no longer Old Katie who was lobotomised by Xenu. New Katie covers the upcoming issue of ELLE and, even though the shoot and interview took place before she surprise-filed for divorce, showed signs that she was recovering from her 7 year stupor. In the past, as well documented, when asked about marriage to Tom Cruise, KatE would keep repeating the mantra:

“He’s amazing. I love him. He makes my life.”

And all variations of the above.

This time, on the subject of her husband, KatIE’s tone is much different:

"He has been Tom Cruise for 30 years. I know who I am and where I am and where I want to go, so I want to focus on that."

(OK fine, that’s great. But can it not be fashion design? Because you really suck at it.)

In light of what’s gone down the last few days, obviously mega foreshadowing. According to Page Six, she made it clear that day that she was not interested in any part of any conversation that involved her husband. Katie even seemed to resent the suggestion that her opportunities were not earned:

“Things are not handed to anyone. If anything, you work a little bit harder when you’re in such visible circumstances."

I fundamentally disagree with this statement and we can get to that in another conversation but the point is that Katie was and is now AGGRESSIVE. She’s testy. She’s assertive. And she’s seeing herself differently:

"It's like you’re trying too hard to figure everything out (in your 20s). I definitely feel much more comfortable in my own skin (in my 30s). I feel sexier. I'm starting to come into my own. It's like a new phase.”

Well if that’s not a heads up...

(Sidebar on being in your 30s though - I totally agree, and not just because it’s a way to rationalise not being 25 anymore. For the most part, in our 20s, we are dumb f-cks. What’s ideal would be to have the ass you had at 22 to go along with the person you are at 35.)

Who is Katie Holmes now?

She wants us to believe she is the valiant protector of Suri Cruise and, as such, warrior queen against the evil Church of Scientology. This sh-t could be a video game, seriously.

Next: how a girl from Dawson’s Creek might destroy the legacy of L Ron Hubbard.