I'm a rambling mass of inconsistencies, some hidden and some all too apparent. A "messy human", wishing to be visible and yet invisible, cherishing my differences but longing to fit in.

Friday, 15 February 2008

Timeline

Am starting to work on a timeline of all the crap that I was subjected to by BLPT. Some things are starting to fit together with the access to my clinical notes and the complaints file. It's apparent that there were many things going on behind the scenes that I didn't know about. And if I had known about some (many) of those things it would have helped immensely at the time.

For example, I now know that M was asked to submit a case weighting with risk assessment, and to employ agency staff if the risks were not being covered by the staff she had available. It owuld have helped to know that at the time, because it would have indicated to me that consideration of needs was made. I could have challenged that if my needs had been deemed to be insignificant when I was asking for help.Also helpful were comments recorded about the initial access problems I encountered not being restricted to me - and that it was the way CMHTs were handling that access which gave rise to problems. Communication again!Not so helpful are the downright lies in my clinical notes, which I intend to challenge. Such as the (postdated) record from administrators in BE CMHT that I phoned daily to speak to M - when I had not phoned her for nearly a year. And the comment that I was "phoning everyone" - when in fact what I was doing was trying to progress up a ladder to get help. So when M did not provide help I approached the Complaints department. Their answer was that M would support me (which was clearly impossible by then) so I approached M's boss. He failed to respond, and then refused my request for a transfer by repeating that M would support me, so I approached his boss. He told me he could not talk to me about the matter, so I emailed the Trust Board members. Hardly phoning everyone - but the declaration stands in my notes.

So, on to a timeline - to help me to make sense of all this. The information I have so far received is really helping me to see the truth of what happened - and given that BLPT is clearly not in the business of giving me a full and honest account of it all, that's perhaps the best I can hope for. And maybe HCC involvment will result in some changes, so that what I wanted all along can happen - some guards and procedures in place to prevent what happened to me happening to others. Though my suspicion is that some CMHTs will never change....