The knockout highlights… the musical smoothness of a canned “synthesizer and synthesized piano” track… the jump ropes… it all convinces me further that I really want to see this fight. Even the quotes from the fighters are compelling, even if they turn into parodies of themselves: Overeem is “excited to be fighting for the title,” and Dos Santos thinks that “If you are a good person, things happen.”

Unfortunately, if you are an asshole, things happen too. And make no mistake about it, Overeem REALLY looks like an asshole in retrospect for the whole drug testing issue before the Lesnar fight. Amazingly few people were suspicious at the time about why Overeem took a month to render a sample when he was supposed to do it within a day. Overeem couldn’t be bothered, they all said; you have to go through his management, he fled the country to be with his sick mother, and he can’t speak English anyway. Now that we know the truth, we are forced to cope with the fact that he was using his mother’s cancer as a prop to avoid being drug tested. Stay classy, Al!

I was so convinced that Overeem was clean that this has upset my entire worldview. Now I see little choice but to give up on hard work and dedication in favor of drugs and more drugs. That seems to be the only way to get ahead these days. Maybe if I start doing lots of meth, I’ll stop sleeping and therefore earn more money…