Daily Special, June 2, 2012

There’s a buncha stuff this morning to talk about. First of all, the NFL claims to have a copy of a “ledger” the Saints kept to record its “bounty” payouts—including injuries, and specifically cartoffs.

The first question I have is: how did they get it? If such a ledger actually existed, its possession by the NFL would pretty much doom any efforts by either players or coaches to defend themselves against the charges. And knowing that the NFL had the ledger would call for completely different behavior on their parts, wouldn’t you think? And knowing that such a ledger existed would inspire among all concerned a very strong suspicion that the NFL had it, woudn’t you think? There is a complete disconnect between the existence of documentary evidence providing names, dates, and amounts, and the adamant protestations of innocence among the accused players. It would be like denying you ever paid for a login to “Hot Super-Plus Grannies” when you know your wife has the credit card bill.

Be that as it may…

The news reports specifically mentioned the 2009 season (and the player punishments were all for that season anyway), so I went through every game on NFL’s GameCenter play-by-play. They note every injury, and usually give an assessment (return probable, questionable, etc.) Ignoring any injury to the Saints, and ignoring any defensive injury to an opponent, what we’re left with is this:

New York Giants: Brandon Jacobs was forced from the game early in the second quarter. He returned to open the second half. More significantly, Kareem McKenzie was injured and carted off when Roman Harper forced an Eli Manning fumble, and the scramble for the ball rolled up McKenzie from behind. Who might possibly have been credited with a cartoff is an open question.

Atlanta Falcons: Harvey Dahl was injured at the beginning of the 4th quarter. His return was listed as probable. There’s no explanation of what happened (he’s just an offensive lineman, after all).

St. Louis: Kennan Burton injured his knee when he fell awkwardly during Usama Young’s interception in the end zone. Burton was later placed on injured reserve. He was untouched by any Saint.

New England: Stephen Neal was injured in the second quarter. As with Dahl, he was listed as probable, but there is no further mention of him.

Washington: Antwaan Randle El injured his shoulder when he fell on it following a deep reception the last play of the third quarter. He was listed as questionable, and in fact did not return—though he played the next week.

Tampa Bay: Earnest Graham tore a ligament in a toe (an obviously deliberate target, that one) during the Bucs’ overtime drive. He was placed on IR following the game.

Arizona: Kurt Warner was knocked into the next time zone by Bobby McCray on a perfectly legitimate hit. He was listed as questionable, but in fact returned.

And that’s it. (Brett Favre, remember, was forced from the field by a change of possession, and missed no snaps at all.) Throughout the entire course of a “bounty” season, those are the only offensive injuries recorded by NFL’s GameCenter.

As things stand now, in the immortal words of the Man From Kansas, “I’m calling bullshit.”

Onwards. Sean Pamphilon is in the news again. This time he claims that…well, hell, you read it. In the immortal words of the Man From New Orleans, “Better you than me.” But while you’re at it, also read the assessment by Jimbo03 at Canal Street Chronicles (it’s the big green block). It provides needed perspective. And if you have any questions for Pamphilon, submit them to AngryWhoDat, who I would bet is angry over this whole circus.

Jermichael Decorean Finley is not convinced that Jimmy Graham is the real deal. This despite being outplayed by Jimmy Graham over the course of…well, a career. I suppose Jermichael’s problem (other than having a shitty name) is that he plays the game, so he doesn’t get to watch it. Anyone who does, and pays attention, can see the difference between Graham (and Gronkowski) and Finley.

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If we’re going to recycle, let’s review all the Saints fans demanding to see “proof”. Admission of guilt in some respect by the GM, the head coach, the defensive coordinator, and at least one player is not enough? Will the ledger satisfy you? Or are you like John Birch Society members, or Donald Trump/Orly Taitz “birthers”, in that no amount of facts or evidence will sway you from your deeply held beliefs?

Why can’t we be like post antebellum slave holders and just put all this behind us and move on? Oh…

Have any of you been checking out Mike (cough, cough) Florio’s latest stuff? He seems to be leaning away from the “shield.” I love the fact that he threw Jason Cole under the bus. (Must have felt like a really big bump in the road!)

Yeah….he’s actually been leaning away from the NFL’s version of this “BountyFarce” nonsense for a while now. He did a radio interview during the 1st week of May in which he questioned the alleged evidence that the NFL released and also their true motives for going after the Saints so hard.

It’s the lawyer in him coming out. After swallowing the NFL’s story whole (which he admitted), he started questioning what was really there after these so-called “smoking-gun” documents that were released/leaked were not at all what the NFL claimed.

During that interview, he said that he would find it difficult to accept the NFL’s word again at face value and he’s been questioning their releases/leaks ever since.

Actually, I was a fairly conservative young man. It was my wife who was the rebel. Oh my goodness, the stuff that woman used to get me into when we were kids. Of course, I did it all for the nookie. Well, to tell you the truth it was her ass. That woman had an ass on her that would blow the wig off your dome. She still does, as matter of fact. She’s 59 years old but she still gets hoots and hollers from all the young bucks over at her gym.

Plus, all of her friends are there. They meet, get on the treadmills or ellipticals together, cackle like hens, and then go grab some lunch. When she was having an issue with this one young guy who just couldn’t take a hint, she did ask me to make a cameo appearance just to send the kid a message. Also, I got to meet her spa pals. Those gals are a riot.

I usually train at home, where I have a fully equipped gym with commercial grade strength-training equipment from my days as a trainer.

Yeah, that’s right. Subscriber since 1975. Not that I’ve enjoyed all of it.

No, I said what I meant about the dope. And again, why do you think they call it dope? At least Neil didn’t have to resort to black magic innuendo, stealing lyrics from Tolkien, and spreading rumors about violating Seattle’s little girls with sharks in order to sell records like your beloved ones.

So, not only is Stewie-poo a raging asshat, he has zero taste in music…Neil Young? Really?!?! I’d rather listen to cats fight, it would have more melody and a less insipid harmonic structure. As for Dylan, he should stick to writing poetry, his monotonous whine is nearly as ear-damaging as the mewling nonsense Young tortures auditory nerves with. Heck, I’d almost rather listen to Yoko Ono sing…..almost. (I still maintain that Chapman just had good musical taste and a tragically bad aim)

An explorer was making his way through deepest, darkest Africa, accompanied by a long line of bearers and a native guide. A few miles into the jungle they started to hear drums. The explorer nervously asked the guide what it meant.

“No big deal,” said the guide. “We still safe. When drums stop, that when you worry.”

So they continued on their way, and the drums keep getting louder and louder. Every once in awhile the explorer would sidle up to the guide for reassurance, and the answer was always the same: “When drums stop, that when you worry.”

They marched on and on, and the drums became almost deafening, coming from all sides. Then they came to a clearing, and abruptly the drumming stopped. The explorer watched as all the bearers shrugged away their loads and dropped to the ground, arms over their heads. He ran frantically to the guide, who was crouched down with his hands over his ears.

“The drums stopped! What does it mean? What happens now?”

The guide looked up with an expression of utter misery, and said, “Bass solo!”

I’m too busy working up Portrait Of Tracy and playing through The Meters catalog for that right now.

Oh and 5 favorite rock-pop-funk bands:

Rush (proof that there are Canadians that can play their instruments competently, actually write good music and perform it well, and….well I’ll give Geddy Lee as an acquired taste vocally – but at least he can sing in tune)

The Meters

Queen

King Crimson (all the variants, but particularly the Discipline-Beat-Three Of A Perfect Pair period)

The Funk Brothers (the original Motown-Tamla Records studio band, and particularly James Jamerson)

The B-Sides (Deluxe Disc 2) needs explaining…… albeit wine, cognac, cocaine, and heroin had something to do with it, but hey Richards’ guitar was/is always out of tune No wonder it was left off the original 18 song album, but there are a few hits mixed into that “Memphis/Delta Blues” sound. It’s in my car right now, mof.

Holy crap. I’ve got a framed tour poster of Crowded House in my office. It’s 0 for 9, or so. “Who’s Crowded House?” M-E and I have gone around on this before. They could have been as big as the Beatles, in an ’80′s fashion. Neil Finn is a genius.

Gurf was Lucinda Williams’ guitarist and producer until they creatively and literally split over Car Wheels On A Gravel Road. He started a new career as a solo artist at age 50 or something. He’s as authentic as anyone can be (except for his name). I’ve seen him perform several times in Texas, OK City and KC. I told him if he was managed properly (he’s self-managed, oops) he could be as big as Neil Young. He looked at me and smiled and said “I don’t WANT to be Neil Young.” I said, “Gurf…. GAAAA!!!!”

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