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Author
Topic: "Just Like Diabetes" (Read 8322 times)

I went to see my doctor today. While I was in the waiting room a drug rep came in... pushing a promotional DVD which was disguised as an educational DVD. She was telling the Receptionist that HIV/AIDS is no longer a serious untreatable life threatening disease. She said "It's just like diabetes." I bit my lip for as long as I could, but as she continued to ramble on, I politely waited for her to take a breath, and then - as tactfully as possible - asked her if she would fuck someone who had aids. While she was in her (apparently rare) speechless state, I began sharing a few of my experiences of living with this disease. I believe that I clarified some of the key differences between the two illnesses - mostly the social aspects - and then asked if she still thought AIDS is "just like diabetes."I believe that she now has a slightly better understanding of this disease..

Anyhow, my lab results were not as favorable as I would have liked, but they were still OK. CD-4 was 138, slightly higher than three months ago, and VL was undetectable. The rest of the bloodwork was normal.

Oh and it was 65 degrees and sunny in Seattle... What a beautiful ride!!Spring is just around the corner!

Nice job scooter. I probably would have let it go. But kudos to you for educating the masses!

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LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

This is going to be an interesting thread. I haven't given a lot of thought to the difference between one disease and another from a social stand point. You make great points Scooter.

As far as medically to a certain degree she is right....at least for some of us. I was diagnosed positive the same time a guy at church found out he was diabetic and was having kidney failure. Our paths are totally different. He has suffered much more than I. He is on dialysis twice a week and is on the waiting list for a kidney. I continue to improve. Five years from now our situations might be completely opposite.

I am fearful that this is going to turn into a debate over wheather HIV is a manageable disease. For some, at this point it is, for others it is far from manageable. I hope that as we discuss this we can accept the fact that for each of us our HIV journeys are different. The impact affects us each differently,and no ones journey should be thought of any less than any other person's. Fighting among ourselves over this issue helps no one. We are all HIV+ and our experiences bring value to the discussion.

Woods

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"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it." Nelson Mandela

I went to see my doctor today. While I was in the waiting room a drug rep came in... pushing a promotional DVD which was disguised as an educational DVD. She was telling the Receptionist that HIV/AIDS is no longer a serious untreatable life threatening disease. She said "It's just like diabetes." I bit my lip for as long as I could, but as she continued to ramble on, I politely waited for her to take a breath, and then - as tactfully as possible - asked her if she would fuck someone who had aids. While she was in her (apparently rare) speechless state, I began sharing a few of my experiences of living with this disease. I believe that I clarified some of the key differences between the two illnesses - mostly the social aspects - and then asked if she still thought AIDS is "just like diabetes."I believe that she now has a slightly better understanding of this disease..

Anyhow, my lab results were not as favorable as I would have liked, but they were still OK. CD-4 was 138, slightly higher than three months ago, and VL was undetectable. The rest of the bloodwork was normal.

Oh and it was 65 degrees and sunny in Seattle... What a beautiful ride!!Spring is just around the corner!

I think where the generalization of the "diabetes" theory comes from the fact that provided you take care of yourself sleep eat right and take meds as you should normally HIV can be manageable for the most part. Diabetes is the closest comparable condition/disease as it it a manageable , however there are exceptions like some people dont live healthy or adhere to meds etc...some people develop OI's and other sicnesses or diseases, conditions.

I know its frustrating to for the nurse etc.. to just say happilyits just like.................but for some people thats how the general public understands it. Just because you do everything right doesn't mean no problems. It's possible to live longer and in some cases med free for 20 yrs given optimal situtions (There are a few I know of) most people go 8-10 yrs w/ meds if dignosed early. I dont know though there are some different variables today, compared to the 80's and early 90's it seems to be getting better, that doesnt mean us that are HIV+/AIDS will have it easy.

Dont shoot the messenger I'm just stating what I've seen in 5yrs POZ. However my own journey hasn't been easy 2 types of cancer in 2005, plus 2 surgerys etc..

1. Can HIV be used as a comparisen to those who dont know how serious it is? Yes, but people have to realize people have different levels of health not everyone is the same, and HIV can lead to worse conditions but with todays technology VL can be suppressed, and CD4 can improved as well of course they dont come without certain side effects.

2. Is HIV/AIDS the same as diabetes? No, but it is the closest comparable thing in a perfect world.

Don't worry Mike.. I won't shoot ya...They took away all my guns when I was in the psychiatric hospital...

I agree. There are similarities between the two diseases.. What consitantly irks me though is that the social aspects are most often overlooked, and I think that in doing so; issues like depression, anxiety, and stress are sometimes completlely ignored as symptoms of the disease.

Before this discussion gets into the direction of what's better to be diagnosed with, AIDS OR diabetes, let me just add that's for loads of people it's AIDS AND diabetes. That's two manageable diseases at the same time and it doesn't make management of any of them any easier.

The reality is that it is some people's goal (in fact their job) to promote the idea that AIDS is a managable illness. I can accept that, but it just doesn't happen to be my reality.

Some of us manage most of the time; most of us manage some of the time; but all of us cannot manage ALL the time! Just think about the words, Acquired Immunity Deficiency Syndrome..... My immune system feels really deficient sometimes. Sometimes, I do pretty well.

Cerrid, I so admire anyone who is coping with both HIV and diabetes, like my good friend Kevin. I consider myself fortunate that I have not had to cross that bridge.

Hugs,Alan

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"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Their etiologies are completely different, the social stigmas are completely different (in that one has one and the other doesn't), and one's been treatable since 1921, and the other wasn't heard of until 1981.

As it has been said here Diabetes is much better understood than HIV infection, and there is still no cure. Then why many of you think there will be a cure for HIV soon?Both conditions are very serious and diabetes can kill you in one single day with no treatment. You CAN stop HIV tretment for years and still be alive...Both are deadly diseases if left untreated and at least HIV does no require a special diet.Social implications...Yes! you are right. I have told all my friends but not my family so I guess I see it in a very different way in that sense.On the other hand my cousin who is diabetic has to practise sports every day to remain healthy (he is an excellent tennis player). I can spend the day in front of the computer, the TV or reading a book without worrying about my sugar levels or ulcers on my feet.I prefer to be HIV+ than diebetic. But I am a weird person.

I agree with all y'all. When I was first diagnosed (ok, it was Nov 06 but it seems like ages) having the Dr. say something to the effect that "treatments have come a long way and HIV is a more manageable disease along the lines of chronic illnesses like diabetes and hypertension" was more than reassuring, it was a disctraction from reality.

I am more realistic these days, having just begun meds, that while treatments exist that may very well allow me to live a healthy and happy long(er) life there are still too many unknowns. Along with this is the social stigma that comes along with having HIV/AIDS. It is most certainly not like diabetes in that respect or any other to be frank. I have told only a few friends and family because I still feel ashamed of having this damn menace.

As for a cure, I find it difficult to believe that a cure is very close. I am a clinical immunologist and while my specialty is not HIV, seceral of my friends are beating themselves over the head trying to figure out a vaccine. That's probably the best bet for those not already infected. It's like a deranged flu though and we all know the influenza virus is hard enough to handle...

I get pissed off by the comparison between HIV and diabetes too, so well done Scooter for confronting this pernicious opinion.

Whether you look at it socially, or whether you look at it medically, people with HIV are worse off than people with diabetes. A recent Danish study worked out that somebody diagnosed with HIV aged 25 has a life-expectancy of about 39 more years, provided they avoid HCV. They then compared it to the diabetic population and we do worse than they do. Diabetics are essentially putting a synthetic form of something natural, insulin, into their bodies to control their disease. Whereas we are putting quite toxic drugs into our system to control ours. Everyday. For a lifetime.

I think you're totally right about the social stigma of HIV. What's manageable about it? I'm gay, and so by definition part of a minority. Now I'm a minority within a minority! Look at profiles on bigmuscle or gay romeo or gaydar or wherever and over and over again you'll see the words "clean", "neg UB2", etc. There's not enough understanding or acceptance of HIV even in the population it affects the most (proportionally).

Thankfully I have a bf who loves me. So I feel a bit insulated from that. But he's negative and there's definitely nothing manageable about worrying about infecting him, or the gossip that maybe goes on behind my back (what's he doing with him?). If I was diabetic, I would have no hesitation in telling my parents - with HIV I can't/won't. If I was diabetic I wouldn't be prevented from being a surgeon - with HIV I am.

In my weird moments, I'm afraid to say, I have daydreamed that if I had something else on top of the HIV, that it would ease my being able to come out to my parents. "Hey Mum, I've got leukemia". (Get hug from Mum). "Oh by the way I've got HIV. But that's not going to kill me."

The irrational fears, stigma and full on prejudice and hate that surround and are directed at people with HIV cannot be equated with such other health issues as diabetes.

You know, a lot of the fear, anxiety, and separation we feel is due to us. We, to an extent, separate ourselves. I'm not totally 'out' about any aspect of my life, being gay, married to a man, and having AIDS included. I truly admire those that are, and hope that, in the future, I'll reach that point. Is the fear rational or justified, maybe, probably, it depends, I guess. Most of us have had things in our lives that scared the crap out of us. When we overcome those fears, we're stronger and move on the next fear, or whatever.

I know that being open about being gay to almost all my friends and family, and being honest with my family about being POZ® was one of the best things that I've done for myself in dealing with this. When AIDS and HIV, and being even being gay, are nameless, to the general public, they're foreign and somewhat scary. That's part of what creates the 'Us' and 'Them' in their eyes. I know this for a fact; before I knew anybody that was HIV+ or had AIDS way back, it was definitely something that happened to 'Them'. Friends have told me they've reevaluated how they perceive homosexuality and HIV because they got to know me as a person first, then as a gay man, then as a gay man living with HIV.

It reminds me of my deceased grandfather. He was born, raised, and lived in the Deep South (Alabama and Mississippi). We can all imagine how he spoke of African-Americans. The thing was, he had lots of black friends. Some of his best fishing buddies were old black men. I know that as his group of A-A friends grew, he used a bit less negative language towards them as a group. He was learning tolerance and acceptance. This also goes for my Aunt (his daughter) and my own mom (his stepdaughter). They don't use the derogatory language at all.

What has this got to do with diabetes and HIV? They're both incurable, both have treatments that, if working properly, will prolong life with some (many?) side effects. I have a relative who's diabetic. He's just had his second laser surgery to preserve his vision. He has to closely monitor his diet. He has to inject insulin. He's not supposed to drink. He's only been diagnosed as diabetic for about 6 years. I've probably been HIV+ for 3-4 years, and don't have nearly the same side effects or fears that he does. He's got other health issues directly related to being diabetic. He's also very self-consious about his diabetes, just like most of us are about our HIV status.

Social stigma aside, I do think that being HIV+ is analogous to being diabetic. No, it's not the same... well, maybe it's the same, only different. For some, both diseases can be managed for some length of time, but that seems to depend on the individual, their adherence to meds, the meds currently available, their resistances to certain drugs, etc. For me, at this point in time, I'm managing. I can't eliminate my virus. I can, at this point in time, repress it likely to the point that it's undetectable. My relative is controlling his diabetes to an extent. This can and surely will change for both of us as time passes. Would I trade places with him and his diabetes? Not in a minute. Actually, there are few folks that I'd trade places with, except for myself, pre-HIV.

I guess what I'm saying is that we put up our own barriers, sometimes justified, as protection. This is often counterproductive. As long as we marginalize ourselves, how can we be expected to be anything but a 'Them'?

I agree with Aztecan if your job does not depend on hiding this disease. I as a teacher of children do not have that luxury. In this profession some things are still better kept confidential. That's just the way it is now, especially if you live in a conservative community, like the one I teach in. So no it is not a question of growing balls for me now. Mine are quite big at the moment and I have more than I can handle.

I do my part in little ways, like volunteering once a month, and disclosing slowly to those I trust around me. For those of us that are employed in delicate environments, it is a self preservation issue. Of what use would I be if I lost access to my health inurance? More fear, more stress= more uncertainty and danger to my health.

I get pissed off by the comparison between HIV and diabetes too, so well done Scooter for confronting this pernicious opinion.

Whether you look at it socially, or whether you look at it medically, people with HIV are worse off than people with diabetes. A recent Danish study worked out that somebody diagnosed with HIV aged 25 has a life-expectancy of about 39 more years, provided they avoid HCV. They then compared it to the diabetic population and we do worse than they do. Diabetics are essentially putting a synthetic form of something natural, insulin, into their bodies to control their disease. Whereas we are putting quite toxic drugs into our system to control ours. Everyday. For a lifetime.

I think you're totally right about the social stigma of HIV. What's manageable about it? I'm gay, and so by definition part of a minority. Now I'm a minority within a minority! Look at profiles on bigmuscle or gay romeo or gaydar or wherever and over and over again you'll see the words "clean", "neg UB2", etc. There's not enough understanding or acceptance of HIV even in the population it affects the most (proportionally).

Thankfully I have a bf who loves me. So I feel a bit insulated from that. But he's negative and there's definitely nothing manageable about worrying about infecting him, or the gossip that maybe goes on behind my back (what's he doing with him?). If I was diabetic, I would have no hesitation in telling my parents - with HIV I can't/won't. If I was diabetic I wouldn't be prevented from being a surgeon - with HIV I am.

What's managable here?!

hi, ok my dad just died from being diabetic 10-06. he had it like 22 years in that time he had so many lazer surgerys on his eyes and heart disease and a ton of other small issues. in 2000 he lost his right leg, his eyes kept getting worst and his kidneys were weak. it was may 06 when he bumped his left foot and got a sore on it and than in the hospital his kidneys stopped working and from then on it was just a very slow downhill fall till 10-06 when he died. my wifes grandmother only had diabetes for 8 years before she died from issues from it and that at the end was a slow bad death. not getting off the sofa for like last 2 to 3 years...now hiv/aids my wifes uncle died of it in 1990 he was in good health till like one week before he died then he died from it. not to many health issues. i work with a guy who has it and his roommate just died of it, when he told me about his roommate he was very sad crying was 2 days later, he told me that the day before he died he was shooting basketball with him and everything seemed fine and he felt good. the next day the guy could not get out of his bed he was so weak. he took him to the hospital and he died the next day. the guy i know that has it has no health problems either but is living with it..i just wanted to weigh in on my outlook on both health issues. both are not good. i would agree with anyone here though that going and telling a stranger you have hiv/aids is way harder than telling someone you have diabetes. telling someone you have hiv some people are afraid of you, if you have diabetes they just think you are ok and cant give it to them.i just know diabetes does do alot of damage to every part of your body fast and is not easy to live with at all. as for hiv/aids the people i know with it live with not to many health issues till like the very very end.

As someone who suffers with both diseases there are similarities,emotionally I mean and physically.Socially there is no comparison.People except you having diabetes then they would with Aids.Since I live with this everyday they both suck,but are similar; I am on insulin shots 4x a day and I take lots of meds both diabetes and hiv effect the body such as PN,Heart Disease,Triglycerides,stroke,kidney damage and liver damage.With all that I have named I suffered from all except stroke.Not to mention continual oi's.Also ones suffer from major depression.However I would never minimize the effects of Hiv/Aids.The big difference between Hiv/Aids is isolation and loneliness and that is sad that in 2007 there are still people who are afraid to love us for who we are,and to me that is the worse thing ever and that to me is a huge difference between diabetes and hiv.

When I tentatively asked by doc after dx "so, is this sort of like having diabetes"? He said "God no, if you had diabetes I would just give you x and y and send you on your way". He then added "at least its not as bad as being diagnosed with leukemia".

As others have said, the difference is the stigma. I wouldn't hesitate to tell my friends and family I had diabetes. I still haven't told them i have HIV.

First of all : STIGMA incl. social life , sex life ........that is much more serious

Second : when you have diabetes your state and medicals are in a very secured corridor so ( correct me if I`m wrong) if you take your drugs and live a healthy life ( no sweets , correct food and no alcohol , drinking) you have a good chances to live with d. ( although there are exceptions , I know that)In HIV there are NO secured ways.A friend of mine with 500 TC has been brought to a hospital with crypto. meningitis .............

Third : there is a huge difference beetwen HIV and AIDSOnce AIDS > allways AIDS . That is because when it comes < 200 , you do not have a broad spectrum of TC anymore and the new ones are a fragile copies of the remaining ones.

But there is a better comparison : with high blood pressure - make me laugh.My uncle had it : 260/200 at the moment and he died from it later.Why ? Just because he refused to take his medicines.

If I have been direct sorry...........................................................Al

My bf has a very low CD4 count, he's in hospital ATM.He's contracted meningitis triggered by Codeine from painkillers.

We are both poz, anyways.My sister has diabetes, she was pretty much born with it.

She's never been in any serious health situation, then again she doesn't eat any meat.Everything she eats is 100% fresh. Fruit and veg. She has to have insulin injections 3 times a day.She gets very depressed sometimes because she feels alone too.This is a very important topic for me because I can relate to it.Any long term illness causes a lot of fear in people.

So who is better off? My sister or me?Neither. It depends on your attitude to life.I am very proud of my sister for handling LIFE the way she has.Not how she has managed diabetes.

She doesn't know my status, I plan on telling her soonish.I think that most people don't really care if you're poz or diabetic.I just think that a lot of people are afraid of hiv, and because they don't want it in their world/lifeThey would rather not associate with you.

However, if people are told that HIV is similar to diabetes, they will assume you can look after yourself and therefore don't feel they have to support you 25/7 and worry about your health.

I think people just don't want hassles in their life. It's not much to do with the actual illness.

This is why I support the idea that HIV is similar to Diabetes because it puts us in the "normal" category. Instead of the "Hiv" or "Not Hiv" categories.

Of course we all know that Hiv has no guaranteesBut life has no guarantees either.Neither does diabetes.

hi, ok my dad just died from being diabetic 10-06. he had it like 22 years in that time he had so many lazer surgerys on his eyes and heart disease and a ton of other small issues. in 2000 he lost his right leg, his eyes kept getting worst and his kidneys were weak. it was may 06 when he bumped his left foot and got a sore on it and than in the hospital his kidneys stopped working and from then on it was just a very slow downhill fall till 10-06 when he died. my wifes grandmother only had diabetes for 8 years before she died from issues from it and that at the end was a slow bad death. not getting off the sofa for like last 2 to 3 years...now hiv/aids my wifes uncle died of it in 1990 he was in good health till like one week before he died then he died from it. not to many health issues. i work with a guy who has it and his roommate just died of it, when he told me about his roommate he was very sad crying was 2 days later, he told me that the day before he died he was shooting basketball with him and everything seemed fine and he felt good. the next day the guy could not get out of his bed he was so weak. he took him to the hospital and he died the next day. the guy i know that has it has no health problems either but is living with it..i just wanted to weigh in on my outlook on both health issues. both are not good. i would agree with anyone here though that going and telling a stranger you have hiv/aids is way harder than telling someone you have diabetes. telling someone you have hiv some people are afraid of you, if you have diabetes they just think you are ok and cant give it to them.i just know diabetes does do alot of damage to every part of your body fast and is not easy to live with at all. as for hiv/aids the people i know with it live with not to many health issues till like the very very end.

Lane,

You should NOT be posting in this forum. You do not have hiv - you came here because you were worried over a fingering incident. This does NOT qualify you for this discussion as you do not know what it means to be living with hiv. Please read the posting guidelines in the Welcome Thread and don't let me catch you posting over here again, ok?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I do however disagree about the comparison being in any way beneficial to those of us living with the disease.

Can I assume that you have decided not to disclose your poz status?If not, can I assume that the STIGMA has something to do with it?

IMHO, it's not just the sex aspect of the social stigma. Pick up a friends soft drink some day, and watch the way they react.Or have a child come to you with a scratched up knee and tell us what thoughts go through your head....

Once again, I am not trying to downplay the seriousness of diabetes. I just don't think that it's an accurate comparison.

Or have a child come to you with a scratched up knee and tell us what thoughts go through your head....

Oh God... yeah.

My little sister... she was 7 at the time... was at this church thing... and she took a really nasty fall, bleeding everywhere... and I had to take her to the first aid van because I was the only family member around.

Of course I knew I wasn't going to give her HIV... but it still kept playing in the back of my mind... I saw it in my mom's face, too. It's irrationality that accompanies infectious disease... no one's immune to it.

I do however disagree about the comparison being in any way beneficial to those of us living with the disease.

Can I assume that you have decided not to disclose your poz status?If not, can I assume that the STIGMA has something to do with it?

IMHO, it's not just the sex aspect of the social stigma. Pick up a friends soft drink some day, and watch the way they react.Or have a child come to you with a scratched up knee and tell us what thoughts go through your head....

Once again, I am not trying to downplay the seriousness of diabetes. I just don't think that it's an accurate comparison.

Actually, Zanarkand confessed the other day that he has not tested positive. His last (negative) test was in November and he is just assuming he is positive because his boyfriend is. I don't get it.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

My boss has diabetes. He goes to the doctor more than I do. I often drive him to the doctor. From what I can see it's fairly manageable for him. He's also 69. Everyone in the office knows he has diabetes. When offered food he can't eat he will say he has diabetes. On the other hand nobody knows I have HIV, and I'll be damned if they're going to find out. I need my health insurance and figure it best not to give any bastard a reason to get me off the group plan. I schedule my doctor appointments outside of work hours so nobody will ask why I'm seeing the doctor.

Yes, socially they're light years from each other. From a management perspective they just seem very different. I'd like to find a career one day where I can be open about my status, but for now I'm just happy that I have a $30 co-pay for meds that cost $1,400 dollars a month. One thing at a time.

i know i should not post here but diabetes i know very well, just wanted to jump in.. trust me in no way i am saying one is better than the other they both suck..as for people who have hiv/aids and dont tell their family that is because of your insecurity in your lifestyle or around your family. i would tell my family about it if i had it. hell i tell them every time i go get tested and they always ask how i made out..as for telling others (friends, coworkers and people you dont know) yes that would be very very tuff.. always remember it is because when we were all young and in school they teach you to judge people.. how you ask??? well i remember getting books where on one page their was a paint can and brush, a tool set and some food. then on the next page their were 3 guys standing. one with oil on hands, one with paint on cloths and one with a knife and you were to put them with the items.. you were raised to judge a book by its cover thats what they teach you.. why coudnt the guy with the knife be the painter??? so people hear hiv and just judge people which is not right and they should not teach kids that. i know people with both and i dont care but i know most people dont think like me. i dont judge anyone

i know i should not post here but diabetes i know very well, just wanted to jump in.. trust me in no way i am saying one is better than the other they both suck..as for people who have hiv/aids and dont tell their family that is because of your insecurity in your lifestyle or around your family. i would tell my family about it if i had it. hell i tell them every time i go get tested and they always ask how i made out..as for telling others (friends, coworkers and people you dont know) yes that would be very very tuff.. always remember it is because when we were all young and in school they teach you to judge people.. how you ask??? well i remember getting books where on one page their was a paint can and brush, a tool set and some food. then on the next page their were 3 guys standing. one with oil on hands, one with paint on cloths and one with a knife and you were to put them with the items.. you were raised to judge a book by its cover thats what they teach you.. why couldn't the guy with the knife be the painter??? so people hear hiv and just judge people which is not right and they should not teach kids that. i know people with both and i dont care but i know most people dont think like me. i don't judge anyone

First of all what does telling family members about having HIV have to do with the topic of this thread? I thought the topic was about HIV being compared to Diabetes.

Secondly I have to disagree about telling family members about HIV every situation is different and disclosure should be done appropriately. So are you saying that If you don't tell you're mom and dad that you got issues? I'm sorry but you don't know me from Adam and you don't have any right passing judgment. FYI My parents don't call me except when they need money or something. I would love to tell them but I haven't heard from them in months and do not have a normal relationship with them It's a very complicated story.

However my family (wife, and daughter know) and are very supportive. I think that matters more anyways. I have met some people that are POZ and haven't told they're kids or key people that may be kinda a recipe for disaster.

First of all what does telling family members about having HIV have to do with the topic of this thread? I thought the topic was about HIV being compared to Diabetes.

Secondly I have to disagree about telling family members about HIV every situation is different and disclosure should be done appropriately. So are you saying that If you don't tell you're mom and dad that you got issues? I'm sorry but you don't know me from Adam and you don't have any right passing judgment. FYI My parents don't call me except when they need money or something. I would love to tell them but I haven't heard from them in months and do not have a normal relationship with them It's a very complicated story.

However my family (wife, and daughter know) and are very supportive. I think that matters more anyways. I have met some people that are POZ and haven't told they're kids or key people that may be kinda a recipe for disaster.

Lanie is a neggie and shouldn't be posting in this forum. He doesn't have HIV and knows absolutely nothing about what it means to be poz.

I have major, major issues with what he posted, too... but the best thing to do is to report that and let the mods deal with it.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

My bf has a very low CD4 count, he's in hospital ATM.He's contracted meningitis triggered by Codeine from painkillers.

We are both poz, anyways.

That's sort of a sticking point with me, Zanarkand. You are NOT poz. I don't know what you get out of claiming to be, but you have tested negative over and over.

It's QUITE possible, statistically LIKELY even, for a negative/positive relationship to remain that way despite unprotected sex. HIV is not an eager virus to infect. CAN it happen through a single exposure? Of course. It is, however, not the statistical norm.

Assuming you are NOT currently using protection with your diagnosed positive BF, I would recommend that you rethink that position. HIV is not a bell you can ever unring.

*edited for typo.

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

IMHO, it's not just the sex aspect of the social stigma. Pick up a friends soft drink some day, and watch the way they react.Or have a child come to you with a scratched up knee and tell us what thoughts go through your head....

It's strange. A few years ago, not that long after my diagnosis, my nephew cut himself badly while staying with me. I didn't even think twice to rush to attend to him. Didn't use gloves cos I didn't have any to hand. But I didn't even think of it in That Way.

Now, a few years further into My Journey, I went out for drinks the other night with a woman I've recently befriended and some of her friends. I haven't got round to disclosing to her yet (timing and all) - I am always upfront with potential friends, its how I decide whether or not to let them in my life, based on their reaction - so for the first time in a long time, none of the group I was with knew about my status. There is a point to this...

At some point in the evening there was some debacle about whether someone's wine was off or not. As I was drinking mine with soda like the girl next to me, she asked me to taste hers to tell her what I thought. I immediately felt my stomach clench and politely refused. But she kept asking. So I took a sip.

The thing is - and I know this is stupid - I felt bad, guilty, wrong. I KNOW its stupid but I did.

With all my family and friends who know about my status I'm 100% comfy about stuff lke that. But when it comes to strangers/potential friends who don't know, I dunno, I feel like I owe them the right to choose or something. You know, whether they still want to know me and whether they want me to drink from their glass etc. Stupid perhaps, but still relevant to me. And I'm quite sure I wouldn't be facing the same quandry if, four years ago, I had been diagnosed with diabetes and not hiv.

If I HAD to choose between diabetes and hiv, I know which I would opt for.

Hiv/aids sucks.

Melia(who is having a wobbly few days...yes, she does have them sometimes!)

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/\___/\ /\__/\(=' . '=) (=' . '=)(,,,_ ,,,)/ (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

The thing is - and I know this is stupid - I felt bad, guilty, wrong. I KNOW its stupid but I did.

I felt the same way when a friend INSISTED that I taste her margarita while we were in Las Vegas. I hadn't yet said anything, and I felt like, "Fuck, now she's gonna insist on getting tested." Butterflies in stomach, rapid heartrate...yep, I know that feeling

Conversely, another time some friends I HAD told, wanted to play some drinking game with Jaegermeister shots (which, btw, is incredibly foul-tasting and makes me horny as hell). "I think i'll sit this one out," I told them, sadly eyeing the common-use shot glass in front of me.

The Ringleader said, "What? Do you think you have cooties or something?" and every person slammed down a shot after me to show that they were DOWN with the Oso.

I went to see my doctor today. While I was in the waiting room a drug rep came in... pushing a promotional DVD which was disguised as an educational DVD. She was telling the Receptionist that HIV/AIDS is no longer a serious untreatable life threatening disease. She said "It's just like diabetes." I bit my lip for as long as I could, but as she continued to ramble on, I politely waited for her to take a breath, and then - as tactfully as possible - asked her if she would fuck someone who had aids. While she was in her (apparently rare) speechless state, I began sharing a few of my experiences of living with this disease. I believe that I clarified some of the key differences between the two illnesses - mostly the social aspects - and then asked if she still thought AIDS is "just like diabetes."I believe that she now has a slightly better understanding of this disease..

Anyhow, my lab results were not as favorable as I would have liked, but they were still OK. CD-4 was 138, slightly higher than three months ago, and VL was undetectable. The rest of the bloodwork was normal.

Oh and it was 65 degrees and sunny in Seattle... What a beautiful ride!!Spring is just around the corner!

i know i should not post here but diabetes i know very well, just wanted to jump in.. trust me in no way i am saying one is better than the other they both suck..as for people who have hiv/aids and dont tell their family that is because of your insecurity in your lifestyle or around your family. i would tell my family about it if i had it. hell i tell them every time i go get tested and they always ask how i made out..as for telling others (friends, coworkers and people you dont know) yes that would be very very tuff.. always remember it is because when we were all young and in school they teach you to judge people.. how you ask??? well i remember getting books where on one page their was a paint can and brush, a tool set and some food. then on the next page their were 3 guys standing. one with oil on hands, one with paint on cloths and one with a knife and you were to put them with the items.. you were raised to judge a book by its cover thats what they teach you.. why coudnt the guy with the knife be the painter??? so people hear hiv and just judge people which is not right and they should not teach kids that. i know people with both and i dont care but i know most people dont think like me. i dont judge anyone

Lane,

I warned you to stop posting in this forum - but you decided you would anyway. I'm giving you a time out for your trouble. Do not create a new account to get around your time out, or you will be permanently banned, no questions asked. Also, if you insist on posting in this forum again when your time out is over, you will be banned for that as well. We do not allow people who are not either living with hiv themselves, or living with someone who does to post in this forum for good reason.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts