The Un-Self-Help Blog

Learning to be better humans

The Grumpy Employee’s Guide to Being Happier at Work

When you look around the office, do you wonder about the people who seem to be happy all the time? They’re just so perky and excited about everything.

And it’s not like you can’t experience joy. You do, but maybe you’re more of a realist. That doesn’t mean you wouldn’t like to experience optimistic energy as often as other people because you realize the benefits of being happier at work. But unfortunately for you, using sheer willpower just doesn’t work.

The cultivation of positive emotions as a solution can sound beyond reach or like a glittery band-aid over a gaping wound. Yet it turns out our brains are pretty powerful. We have the ability to rewire our neural connections to think more positively on a consistent basis, which builds up resilience and fortitude for when times get tough and protects you from grumpy spells.

Plus, being happier at work isn’t really about being perky and all smiles. It’s about your positive mindset and motivation level to better able to tackle the tasks, the email, and whatever else the day has to sling at you.

It does take some practice, just like how the best athletes, musicians, and high performers have to train and put in some hard hours. Here are a few ways to exercise and strengthen your positivity powers:

Keep a done list and celebrate the small wins

A done list (or if you’re feeling rebellious, an “anti-todo list”) helps put things into perspective. You get a lot of stuff done already but you might not realize it. When you write down what you’ve accomplished at the end of each day, you give yourself credit for everything — not just whatever’s on your to-do list.

Teresa Amabile, Professor, Harvard Business School

It seems counter-intuitive to spend extra time to take stock of what you already accomplished, but this act of reflection and celebration furnishes you with motivation and encouragement to keep going. That feeling of productivity and achievement is pretty powerful fuel!

In fact, Harvard Business School professor Teresa Amabile has discovered in poring over 12,000 employees’ work diaries that the most powerful driver of “positive inner work life” — of being motivated, engaged, productive, and happy — is making progress, no matter how small, on meaningful work. So it’s vital that you pause to gain awareness of your progress and achievements.

3 Good Things

As you’re writing down all the awesome things you accomplished every day, include a quick list of three good things that happened. Make it specific and think through whether anything helped to make them happen.

A study by Martin Seligman, considered to be the father of positive psychology, uncovered noticeably beneficial changes for people who practiced this 3 good things mental workout for just one week. Not only did they feel happier right away, they continued to feel happy at one-month, three-month, and six-month check-ins.

Be the good thing in someone else’s day

Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky has found through her research that performing a simple act of kindness can consistently make you happier. She clarifies that “almost any types of acts of kindness” will do.

So take some time to think of others. Buy someone a coffee, start or end your day by writing an email to thank a colleague for some great work, help set up chairs for that meeting, try to get other grumpy employees to break into a grin for once. The lovely benefit of this exercise is that it helps brighten someone else’s day.

Give yourself permission to slow down

Oftentimes when you feel stressed and harried, your response is to put your head down, ignore the pain, and work even harder. That’s the path to making the same mistakes and exhausting yourself by spinning your wheels to go nowhere.

Instead, this is exactly the time to allow yourself to come up for air and see what’s going on. Great performance actually requires working with, rather than against, your natural energy rhythms — which includes taking breaks to rest and reflect. Consider, for example, how psychologist K. Anders Ericsson found that the best violinists practice in 90-minute bursts, for no more than 4.5 hours a day, while taking lots of naps.

So slow down, pause to acknowledge your feelings, and do a check-up. Take some time for yourself, take a walk, go out for a cup of tea and review what’s been going on and reflect on why something isn’t working, because this is actually more productive than trying to bulldoze through. Take a deeper look at why you feel so busy but you aren’t coming closer to your goals.

Nourish your connections

You may be grumpy because you feel lonely and without friendly supportive colleagues to lean on. One study found that loneliness has real effects in the workplace, causing withdrawal from work and reducing productivity.

Connecting with others starts with yourself. Pay wholehearted attention to the people around you, say thanks and express gratitude, and invite someone out to lunch every so often to increase feelings of support and camaraderie.

Nourish your power

Powerful employees are simply happier. According to research led by Yona Kifer, the perception of power means you feel the freedom to be more authentic, and because you’re free to be yourself, you’re happier. Think about the times when you’ve been powerless — you probably felt like you couldn’t say or do what you wanted.

Take small steps to build and grow your autonomy and be more able to be who you want to be. Maybe you can take charge of a neglected project or step up to take the lead on a presentation. Show your managers studies on productivity to implement more flexible schedules or lessons your team can learn from companies like Zappos who value employee autonomy and authenticity.

Tony Hsieh, CEO, Zappos

If you are grumpier than you would like, give these tried and tested happiness boosting activities a try. It might feel like adding onto an already full plate — but it’s worth taking a risk to feel more fulfilled and happy at work.

What are some ways that made you feel happier at work? I’d love to know!

7 thoughts on “The Grumpy Employee’s Guide to Being Happier at Work”

Unhappy at work, unhappy at life. My experience shows that when an employee is unhappy at work, it’s not the only place they are unhappy. I take an active role in their life to ensure they are satisfied everywhere in life. This article is great for looking at your role for being in control of your life and your happiness with some great tools for the grumpy worker.

I am currently reading Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks. The MOST important lesson I have learned is that in order to find balance in my life my thoughts and my feelings have to agree. I know what is going on with me by the way I feel. Work is where I spend MOST of my day, therefore, being able to generate thoughts that will bring forth positive happy feelings in paramount for my well-being. The suggestions given here are GREAT because they just enhance my thought + feeling connection.

I’ve coached many in work situations where they are absolutely miserable. It could be home or personal life issues, or it could be that person is just flat out in the wrong job or career, and don’t realize it. We’ve all worked with people like this – they make their own situation and everyone around them worse with their attitude. Through coaching, I’ve found that helping people become aware they are in the wrong job or career can be a huge relief. Once this is identified, coaching can help them find their true passion, and help transition them toward positive change.

Good point. We often like to compartmentalize our lives into the different areas (work, home life, recreation, finances, etc..) but they all interlink. Maybe we could rename the article “the grumpy person’s guide to being happier in life”.

Great article. Very good points above. I have coached people in varying degrees of dissatisfaction, frustration and upset at work. I find a number of issues in common. One is that they feel they have no control of their circumstances, so I help them gain control of things they can change like their personal space, emotional boundaries and social contacts.
Then we discuss how we can improve their issues or problems at work so they can be happier.
Lastly, coaching helps with how they can focus on what they do well, have to offer and the overall difference they make at work. As well as what the job provides for them including salary, benefits, opportunities and lifestyle.
In this way they can be in touch with, and happy about, the rewards, benefits and other positive things they are creating for others and themselves.

Great article Janet! Fabulous points and dealing with some solid strategies for increasing ones optimism. Research shows that people who are happier (work and life) are more fulfilled and successful. In my work with career client and leaders a first place to start is looking at which behaviours are helping or hindering them in their journey to the success/happiness they want. Like others have suggested this is a holistic process that includes both what is happening at and at home as they are connected. One tool I use that really seems to help my clients is EQi, emotional intelligence. This measures ones “real-time” behaviour and allows us to look deeper into the root cause, beyond the emotional reactions or observable behaviour/performance to help the client improve understanding of why they are behaving in a certain way. To quote David Rock, when we look beyond observable to understand thinking we can impact positive performance change. Ultimately this leads to positive change and people who are aligned with their passions which improves optimism (happiness).

Learn About

Requests

For Coaches

Noomii is the web's largest directory of life coaches and business coaches. Our goal is to help you find the best possible coach for your specific needs. Want help finding your ideal coach? Request a referral or call toll-free 1-800-278-1057.