A Message Worth Repeating

November 24, 1994|By Ann Landers.

Dear Friends: Happy Thanksgiving! What follows was written by Judy Vekasy, a registered nurse and director of activities in a nursing home in Savannah, Tenn. It originally appeared in the Memphis Commercial Appeal, and I ran it several years ago, but it is well worth repeating. I am grateful to J.E. Bourne of Indianapolis for originally sending it on. I hope readers will absorb the message and act on it.

"In this season of thanksgiving and just plain giving, I have some suggestions for those who need something to be thankful for or those who need someone to allow them to give. Nursing homes are full of opportunities.

"You say you can't do anything. Can you read? Good. Read to me. My eyes aren't what they used to be.

"Can you write? Good. Write a letter or a card for me. My hands are shaky.

"Can you sing? Good. Help me with the words, and I'll sing along.

"Can you tell me about your job? I was a nurse once myself.

"Can you listen? Wonderful. I'm starved for conversation.

"Can you bake a sponge cake or zucchini bread or angel biscuits or make fudge? They aren't on the nursing home menu, but I remember how good they were, and I would like to taste them again.

"Do you play checkers or dominoes or rummy? Fine, so do I, but there is never anyone who has the time. They are understaffed around here, you know.

"Do you play the violin or the flute or the piano? My hearing is poor, but I can hear any kind of music. Even if I fall asleep, you'll know I enjoyed it.

"Once we were somebodies, just like you. We were farmers and farmers' wives, teachers, nurses, beauticians, stockbrokers and electricians, bankers and sheriffs and maybe a few outlaws, too. We're not all senile-just old and needing more help than our families can give us. This home, whatever its name, is `home' to us, and you're an invited guest.

"Please come. The welcome mat is always out and not just on Thanksgiving.

"I hope you will keep this and read it again in January, February and every other month of the year. We'll still be here, and our needs will be the same."

Dear Ann Landers: This is for "Still in the Harness" who wanted to know why her husband got to retire, but she didn't. This woman could learn a few things from my wife.

When I left the Air Force in 1960, my wife, "Liz," said, "Are you retired now?" I replied, "I certainly am." She said, "Well, so am I. Now we are going to do everything 50-50."

Having been raised in the good old days when the wife took care of the house and the kids while the husband brought home the paycheck, went bowling on Saturday and played golf on Sunday, I had a lot to learn.

And learn I did. Liz taught me to run the dishwasher and the washer-dryer and how to perform many routine chores. She didn't do windows, either. Although I grumbled a bit, it turned out to be a blessing. Liz passed away last year. Now I must do all the things alone that we both did before. I can't imagine how I would have made it without the instruction I received from my wonderful wife who had the wisdom to prepare me to take care of myself.