September 10, 2013

Being A Parent Is Hard.

This is the post where I talk about my daughter and how she's been replaced with this complete, out of control, mutant monster the past few days.

Seriously. I DO NOT recognize my kid these days!!! She's being so terrible and honestly, I can't for the life of me, understand HOW my kid even maintains this level of crying and screaming on the daily. You'd think her reserve of (my life is so terrible) tears would run out at some point or her vocal cords would decide to shrivel and go on strike. No? Not even just a little? Okay, whateve.

I guess I HAVE seen signs of the terrible two's knocking, but after last week where she caught a stomach bug then got over it, this. THING. was left in its wake. I am still reeling at how fast this happened. I get that she was sick and was allowed more Otter-pops than normal, definitely got more mommy cuddles, but sheesh kid. There are better ways to thank me.

So far, in 4 days, we've had...Well there have been so many, I've completely lost track. BUT A LOT of tantrums. I'm talking, this kid screams so hard she's not even screaming tantrums. Rolling on the floor tantrums. Stomping those two little feet (faster than 8 pistons hammering inside a V8 beauty) tantrums! The kind of tantrums that you look at and think, wow, that kids needs her ASS beat!

To be honest, I can't tell half the time what these fits are about! They start over one thing, and I MIGHT be able to salvage that upset by talking to her and giving her my attention, but the moment she starts down that road, it's like her fuse gets shorter and shorter and it just rolls into the next thing and the next. I would seriously be a nut case, walking on egg shells full-time, if I was that mom who chose to handle this by not upsetting the tater-tot. WOW. Last night we had the mother of all mothers of fits. Over a freakin tuna sandwich! Well it started out over daddy sharing mini Nilla Wafers with her and him not allowing her to have more then one at a time. We salvaged that one. But then she wanted to eat my tuna sandwich (but only while she was holding it) which I wouldn't allow, because IT WAS MY SANDWICH and she was going to make a mess with it ( I had just fed the kid a hearty dinner mind you.) She decided then and there, that this was NOT going to happen in her house, so she begins to do this alligator death roll while crying and screaming in frustration. Daddy can't handle the rolling on the floor like a spoiled child, so he keeps standing her back up. WRONG. I try to distract her with a few favorite toys and the promise of going outside (which I start dragging her towards the back door because she refuses to walk) and HOLY MOTHER OF MARY you would have thought I was asking her to walk the plank! (INTO THE SHARK INFESTED WATERS YOU!)

I will admit, that at one point, I misted her in the face with a water bottle. You know, the whole shock effect, because (hey) it works with cats! However, no positive response from this lioness... We try a few other things, like introducing "time out" (yeah big mistake on our part, 30 minutes before bed, when she was already fighting the cranky-sleepys) and talking to her calmly but NOTHING is working. SO I do the only other thing I know how, which was walk away... Hardest thing EVER! You're so conflicted. Half of you believes this should be dealt with, with a good'ol fashioned spanking. But the other half, just hates seeing your child this upset. We're talking hysterics at this point and half way to self-hyperventilation. Daddy and I sit in the hall for what seemed like an eternity (maybe 7 minutes) while she thrashed couches, her bean bag and the floor with those angry feet, eventually wearing herself out. She calms down and comes to find us, but THE LITTLE RAT, once she sees us??? Turns right back around to resume her fit. Another 2 minutes of this and she's finally spent, sucking her thumb, cuddling her blankie and looking so insecure and confused. KNIFE to my heart. I make her walk nicely to me though, than pick her up and explain to her that she will not treat mommy and daddy like that because that kind of behavior is ugly. I also tell her to say she's sorry ( which I get, is totally lost on a 19 month old, but it just seems like it needs to be taught now, rather than later.)

Needless to say, I wasn't ready for this swift donkey-kick in the mommy-face and so I certainly wasn't ready to know how, and in what way, I would deal with this. I obviously panicked and allowed that to drag out longer then it should have. So many mistakes I'm seeing, as I type this out. Obviously, very confused and incapable of dissecting that whole scene, The next day I call in the Calvary, a.k.a my big sissy!!

I really look up to her as a parent. She not only has sound parenting advise but she also has two awesome, well behaved kids to demonstrate the relevance of that advise. Dude, right now I'd love nothing more than to take her two kids to my one child. I mean, look at those little peaches! But just until this storm blows over... You getting all this sister dear ;) I WILL be visiting in December or January. Just sayin!

But because I can't trade my kid in for an older model, I'm sure I'll get the hang of this soon. I have to... I owe it to her to be the adult, set boundaries and never back down, even when I'm tired.

I love you to DEATH Sugarcube. To death! And I would do anything for you. To include, being that firm hand you need throughout life because we both want to see you grow into a decent, beautiful and loving human being. Yes, I'll feel like crying right along with you, and I'll always question if I'm doing the right thing, but keeping the end goal in sight, I know we'll get through this and achieve the outcome.

4 comments:

Oh girl. Patience and wine and peace be with you. It is so so so so SO HARD WHY DID NO ONE TELL US HOW HARD IT WOULD BE. It is so hard to know what to do in the moment when they're flipping their sht, and when everyone is calmed down, you will always think of a better way you could have handled it, but don't beat yourself up over it! I am told that children act this way around their parents because they are so comfortable expressing their innermost feelings with us? Maybe this is true? Or some bull my mom is feeding me to help me not slap a child on the daily. Either way, this too shall pass and one day you will laugh in her face when she complains to you that her child is acting the same way. :)

Oh, yes! In my experience, the bad phases end just as quickly as they start. She'll just wake up one morning and be back to your sweet little girl. The bad phases have to end at some point...at least that's what I tell myself on the hard days. :)

Oooooooooooh no! My baby is so precious and sweet and I'm DREADING the days when she develops an attitude and throws tantrums over every little thing. I mean, I'm terrified! I never understood why parents had such a hard time standing their ground until I had one of my own. I know the best thing I can do is create boundaries and stand by them, but it will be HARD! All I can say to you is that you are an AMAZING mom and you are doing a GOOD job :) And despite the tantrums, she is adorable!