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Friday, May 29, 2009

Friday, May 29, 2009

You've gotta admit: outside of baby shower cakes, grooms' cakes are some of the most "unique" ones out there. This is the cake that puts the guy's favorite recreational activities on display, whether those are sports...

(I believe that's a plastic golf cart in the corner. So let's see...plastic flotsam, a printed edible image, random clumps of crumbled chocolate, and spotty airbrushing... all on one cake.Hah! And they said it couldn't be done.)

Hobbies...

(I realize I don't know that much about weaponry, but am I the only one seeing a gun on a hot water bottle here?)

Mouth cancer...

(I grew up in the sticks of Florida, so a cake can of chewing tobacco doesn't surprise me that much. Still, let's hope it's not flavored to match. Yech.)

Or just melting over an inner tube while covered with a gigantic straw hat.

[crickets chirping]

Well, he does look relaxed.

[staring some more] Ok, I give up. What is that red square supposed to be? Anyone? Anyone?

Thanks to Alan R., the only Wreckporter brave enough to attach his name to any of these submissions, and all you other Anony Mice.

Forget the red thing. Jen, I'm terribly disappointed that you didn't point out his FEET! They're HUGE! I mean, they are as long as his legs are. WHere does he buy shoes? Maybe he's a cobbler and can make his own? I certainly hope so.

I *think* the thing under the gun is supposed to be a hanging target you shoot at. I guess the customer ordered it all in chocolate, but the lack of any color in that cake makes it look even worse!

And the first cake? Are you sure someone didn't start eating the cake and just leave some crumbs on it? I mean, what IS that supposed to represent?

I looooove this site! it's one of 3 that I check every morning before work!That definately looks like a hot water bottle-it's the first thing that popped into my head when I saw the picture. Then I realised it was a really crappy representation of one of those moving paper targets they use in a range

I think the dirt clumps on the golf one must be divots. I guess he's really not THAT good of a golfer.

And I noticed that the copenhagen can was surrounded by horseshoes and strawberries. I think it's like...Good luck cuz you're marrying a guy that's gunna have mouth cancer and that's just... well...REAL PRETTY! Well it is if you add strawberries right?

As for the straw hat.... I have no idea what the red square and silver things are but has anyone else noticed the flames around the edge of the straw hat?

Well the golf cake doesn't look SOOO bad if you consider that the airbrushing is supposed to look like a golf course at sunset. Unfortunately, he must be golfing in a pit, and the chocolate looks really bad.

And the second one scares me, because to me it looks like a gun over a flask for alcohol. That spells danger.

I think the red square is one of those red mesh bags used for trash on the river... I donno. I'm digging the wreckiness. Although, I do like the horseshoes on the tobacco cake. Can I just have a couple of those?

the "gun cake" is a BADly done 1911 on top of an ipsc target (http://www.brianenos.com/forums/uploads/photo-12528.jpg) probably for a USPSA shooter (United States Practical Shooing Association). just thought i would let you know what it SHOULD have looked like

I believe the hot water bottle might be the case for the pistol. The red thing that looks like a soggy pack of cigarettes confounds me--would we get a close-up of the writing on it? WOuld that even help?

That last one is a doozey! I even took the image into photoshop and tried to enlarge it, but I STILL don't know what that red net bag is for. All I can think of is that it's supposed to be cans of beer in a net bag keeping cool in the water....with little lead weights around the edges....and it says "river"...something.I really like the chocolate gun on the "hot water bottle" cake! I had an old boyfriend who was a firearms expert and he was involved in target shooting, and they would get a "Black Badge" for doing well.......well the "hot water bottle" is probably someone's version of a Black Badge.

Cyberg: Copenhagen is a popular brand of chewing tobacco in the US. Given that the picture also featured some chocolate horseshoes, I'm guessing the Groom was a 'cowboy type' who chews tobacco regularly.

While that thing under the gun looks like a hot water bottle or possibly a bottle of booze, it's actually supposed to be a paper target. Trust me, I've shot at that exact target often enough, and my aim might have been even better if it were instead that ugly cake.

The last cake seems to come from a world where they inflate inner tubes, but people are left as flat and limps of pancakes. Those who can not afford air pumps can only cover their gruesome figures with over sized hats.

I'm with RealFood RealWorld & Rosieknight: that red thing looks like watermelon to me. But why did somebody run a perfectly good slice of watermelon through a pasta maker? And Mel, you're not alone. Brown lumpy things + horse shoes = poo to me, too.

I also saw a dreidel under the gun, so this is definitely some kind of buttercream Rorschach test.

And then I focused on the edible. . .chocolate. . .gun. . .

My husband insists I would eat pink Pearl erasers if they were coated with chocolate (not quite--I would just suck off the chocolate coating) but I think even I would have trouble working up an appetite for this one.

Are you sure it's not a flask or a bottle of liquor? That's certainly not a good combination. Although, I can imagine all the groomsmen and the groom "out back" drunk randomly firing at birds in the trees a la Steel Magnolias.

Someone else has in the previous 90 comments probably already guessed this, but I am pretty sure the unidentifiable object hanging from the inner tube is a sack for the empty cans. River floaters use those all the time to contain their "empties" - no littering on the river, you know! :)

Every farrier--horse trimmer/shoer--equine manicurist--I've ever known has had a ridiculous attachment to his nicotine products. Many horse farms will not let you smoke on the property due to fire hazards, so I've known farriers who switched to other non-cigarette types of nicotine.

I suspect that's the inspiration behind the Copenhagen and horseshoes cake: a farrier. You got me on the strawberries tho.

I am pretty sure the red thing is supposed to be a mesh trashbag... you tie it to your tube and put your empty beer cans in it so you dont have to put them back in your cooler and you dont put them in the river.

After looking at these and thinking about some of the previous grooms cakes featured on this blog, I think a case could be made for economizing on the wedding and skipping the groom's cake entirely. (Of course, if some of these are representative of the groom's tastes, maybe they should consider skipping the groom too. Just have a big party with a prettycake.)

VeggieT said Well, at least there's one good thing to know, most likely there's never been a lifesize replica of a groom done in cake

I sense a challenge here. I know we've had a replica of the groom's head, but not an entire free-standing man-cake.

kingmonkey said Does that last one even count as a cake? It's really just a giant doughnut.

I think the giant straw hat is also made of cake. It would be impressive if it weren't for the little blobs along the side where the hat wasn't quite long enough, and the overall wreckiness of the rest of the cake.

No no . . you've got it all wrong. Jelly man doesn't have grotesquely long feet or shins that bend backward. It's the effect of the light refraction through the water. Yeah, that's it. I am sure that detail wouldn't escape the artist . . . despite the fact that the wreckerator forgot to give the poor man bones.

And I totally saw the gun lying on top of a grenade.

WV: uningst: I was filled with uningst when on our wedding day I saw that my new husband had ordered a gun and grenade cake. Now I am rethinking that hunting trip honeymoon.

I didn't realize folk were so serious about their "chewin' tabakee". Round here (Iowa) its all called chewing tabacco, even if you don't actually chew it. I shall inform all of my friends and neighbors to refer to it as snus from here on out.

The gun cake is a bit scary. Looked like a gun on top of a whisky flask (is that what it's called). Oh, but those chocolate covered strawberries look heavenly. They look a little poopy, but when I finally realized they were strawberries I got a major craving!

We forgot to critique the perspective on the first cake. He's standing on the green, using an iron, not a putter, hitting the golf ball out of the cake. He must think the hole is somewhere outside the cake. And you're supposed to make a nice, smooth, even divot with your golf shot. Every time. So the clumps of chocolate dirt actually somewhat make sense.

Word verification: tylypo- We must eradikate tylypos from all wrex. (Yes the misspellings were intentional.)

He's so white, maybe he needed the giant straw hat to protect him from the sun? dun know..shrugs

By the way I hate this blog, because it makes me fat, many (notice I don't say all) of even the wrecks look yummy. I go home every day wanting cake, lucky for me I have a short memory and forget by the time I am near a grocery store!

I agree with everyone that said the red thing is supposed to be a red mesh garbage bag. I go tubing a lot. You can rent a tube and they give you a red mesh bag to attach to the side of you tube so you can put your empty beer cans in it instead of just throwing them in the river.

First time poster! I was compelled to post, because I'm pretty sure no-one has mentioned the fact that there are also tiny chocolate cowboy hats and boots around the tobaccake! That being said I'd rather eat a tiny chocolate shoe than that cake.

P.S. Weirdly, I saw a bag of golf clubs on the cake with the inner tube. It's like an ink blot test!

As for the gun one, I'd vote it's an alcohol bottle. But that's because I haven't seen a target look like that. Particularly because they're usually shaped like a person. (It's not unusual in my area to purchase a sandwich, alcohol, and a gun/bullets in the same store at the same time. One of our stores says on the side: Subs, Spirits, Shells. It perplexed my city-slicker boyfriend for a while until one day he say someone walking out with a gun, case of liquor, and a sandwich.)

I enjoy that the gun is brown. Apparently the decorator didn't have any other colors. (Even if its chocolate icing, you could have at least added SOMETHING for design.)

I have to say that the chewing tobacco cake is NOT a wreck. For a non-masterful baker (that is, an average skilled professional baker) that is a pretty faithful recreation of a can of chewing tobacco. I got to give them credit for making the top of the can accurately, too.

This from someone who thinks chewing tobacco is absolutely disgusting.

But give the baker some credit for making it actually pretty accurate. If I wanted a chewing tobacco cake, and I got that, I would be very happy.

I believe the red thing is indeed a cooler. Apparently there's an activity called "tubing" in which one floats down a river in an inner tube with a cooler filled with beer attached or, if you wanna get fancy, an entire keg. I've never experienced such activities, but it somehow came up in an intellectual history class I took. Very strange. I'm pretty pumped that there's a cake somewhere in the world devoted to it though.

MAN! I wish I had taken a better picture of my brother in law's Beer Pong Cake. Not only was it oddly disproportionate and the "beer" in the cups was neon yellow, but the cake itself was sagging in the middle and about to crack in half. MAN!!

OK, that's it: I want to renew my vows for the sole reason of having a centerpiece cake that turns out nothing like the inspiration despite the baker/decorator, er, wreckerator's repeated assurance he/she can pull it off and tacky, ill-made groom's cake. I had neither and feel I totally missed out.

The red thing on the floating man cake is a bag you're given when you rent the toob (Texas spelling) to put trash and beer cans in. Looks likes the orange things are woven, which is what the bags are like, to let water pass through.

as an IPSC and USDPA shooter, definitely a target. there's a standard type shaped like that with the accuracy zones marked on it. they're cardboard and precisely that color. the guns, however, are NOT usually that color... but, hey, my hat is off to the wrecerator for actually *making* the gun cake. there was a case recently where a shooting club in Wyoming wanted a cake with their gun-bearing club logo on it for a club aniversary, and were refused by *every* bakery in town. because, apparently, even cake-guns kill people. Gun-cake discrimination in Wyoming... who'd a thunk it. Clearly those people need to mellow out with a bit more chewing toba... snus.

Albino in rubber tube: I think this is a bold attempt to convey perspective and water refraction. His legs would appear refracted UNDER the water...and the trash bag is further away and refracted. The beer cans therefore look tiny. As for the hat...I got nothing.WV: aptinqua...something that is water-appropriate

Someone may have already answered this, but the red thing on the inner tube is a can bag...on the river they make you tie a mesh onion/potato sack to your tube to collect your trash rather than littering the river.

hi jen,i don't know if anyone has already answered this but I do know what the "red thing" is...here in Texas, we go tubing on the river and it's completely legal to bring along a cooler in order to spice up the river ride :) however, in order to keep the river clean, when you rent your tube you are also provided with a red net bag to store your empties in. You tie it to your tube with twine (also provided).As for the hat, lets just say that you don't go tubing in the Texas sunshine without some protection from the rays. There's LOTS of straw hats around!Hope that clears it up!

I'm a regular reader but not a regular poster. I had to post today though at your "sticks of Florida" comment. I grew up in the tiny town of Chipley, FL were the imprinted ring of a chew can on the back of guy's jeans was considered SEXY! LOL Would love to talk to you more about the fish fries, oyster shucks, and general funniness of BFE FL.

I see the inner tube, but I'm pretty sure that is a suicidal rabbit hiding under his overturned easter basket. Those ARE rabbit feet, right? And see that left ear desperately reaching for the valve to deflate the tube to facilitate a drowning?

What would make a rabbit suicidal? Noticing the positive result on the red drug-store brand pregnancy test and realizing this groom is being forced into a shotgun wedding.

I too thought the target was a flask and the golf cart a toaster, but I thought the latter was because I recently set fire to mine, so it was on my mind. The fire extinguisher was almost expired, anyway.

Thank you for explaining how you generate trash while rafting. I was believing the trash bag theory, but trying to reconcile that with how you would end a rafting trip with more trash than you started with.

I think the straw hat is a way of indicating that the groom is naked under there. As for replicating the groom in cake, I bet that's been done with just the genitals. I'm willing to believe that it's even been done at a wedding. Maybe the bride vetoed the flaming deer cake with "anything but that!" and so it went.

The "hot water bottle" is an IDPA (International defensive pistol association) target, which is actually pretty accurate, except for the size. Here's a link to an actual target sales place http://alcotarget.com/osb/itemdetails.cfm?ID=526And seeing as that gun is a multi-thousand dollar pistol, I'd say that groom is pretty good at it...

The cakes and the guesses at what things are are hilarious! I was ready to completely agree that the thing under the gun was a grenade, but then someone posted a pic of that target; definitely matches. Cannot wait for more wrecks!

Okay, I get that there are divots in the golf cake and the airbrushing is supposed to make it look like a golf course at sunset, but then why is the golf cart driving through the sky? You have to be a pretty bad golfer to put divots in the clouds...

As a wife to two USPSA shooters that gun cake is really a 2011 STI Edge Gun on top of a USPSA offical target. I assume the color is to reflect that the targets are made out of cardboard. My hubby thought it was an awesome cake and now wants one for his next birthday..

As beautifulmonday correctly stated, the item under the pistol is a facsimile of a target. My guess is that the groom participates in a shooting sport, such as IDPA (International Defensive Pistol Association) or IPSC (International Practical Shooting Confederation, lovingly referred to as "Ip-sick") matches. Targets used in these sports are shaped in a way vaguely similar to the "center of mass" on a human target, as the sport was created out of the desire of participants to practice skills which might be necessary in the event of a self-defense situation, such as shooting on the move, defending against multiple targets, etc. Matches are very fun to watch, and there are videos on youtube of people participating in this sport.

I just floated (draged a tube) down the very low Gudalupe river last weekend and I believe the red thing is a mesh trash bag they give you at tube rental places to tie on to the tube and put your empties in.

Having done a lot of river floats around here, I'd guess that the red thing is the sack that all outfitters give people to collect their trash. They're usually red mesh "potato sacks" and all canoes and rafts have one so that trash like empty cans don't go into the river.

Unfortunatly I spent a lot of my youth floating the rivers in Central Texas. The Red thing is like an onion bag. Its woven and plastic and has a draw string. Its to collect the trash, so you don't one won't be accused of "Messing with Texas!"Heather

I'm new to CW, but I can't get enough. So I'm late to this discussion, but am I the only one who was freaked out by the straw hat man's TINY HAND?! Proportions were not this cakemaker's strong suit, nor are knees.

I think the red bag is a mesh "drag bag." The idea is that, if the river is cold enough, you don't bring a cooler at all; you just drag your cans behind your tube/raft in a mesh bag to keep them icy cold.

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