Westport author: parenting key to keeping kids drug-free

By Amanda Cuda, Staff Writer

Published 6:43 pm, Monday, August 31, 2009

Twenty one is a magic age for many reasons.

It's the age when one is legally allowed to drink alcohol. It's the age of most young men and women when they finish college. It's an age that, to many, means independence and the passage from childhood into adulthood.

Joseph A. Califano Jr. also views 21 as a magic age. Califano, who lives in Westport, is founder and chairman of The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University. His new book, "How to Raise a Drug-Free Kid: The Straight Dope For Parents," comes out on Tuesday and theorizes that parents, and their interaction with their children, are the cornerstone of stopping substance abuse in America. According to the book, a child who reaches age 21 without smoking, abusing alcohol or using illegal drugs is virtually certain to never engage in these activities.

Thus, Califano said, curbing substance abuse lies largely in the hands of parents, who, in most cases, are the custodians of children during the crucial years leading up to 21. "This problem is not going to be solved in courts or in legislative hearing rooms," Califano said. "It's going to be solved in dining rooms and living rooms by parents and families."

Califano, himself a father of five and grandfather of eight, has worked in the prevention field for several decades. From 1977 to 1979 he was the U.S. secretary of health, education and welfare under President Jimmy Carter. During that time, his accomplishments included launching a national anti-smoking campaign. Califano has since focused on other areas of substance abuse, including alcohol abuse, but his work has taught him that prevention lies not in curbing the use of any one substance, but in stopping abuse before it starts.

"Drug-Free Kid" is his 12th book and the first to address the role of parenting in drug prevention. In the book, Califano outlines nine "facets of parental engagement" that can help parents raise a healthy, substance-free child. These include parental involvement in children's lives and activities, maintaining family rituals (such as eating dinner together) and keeping the lines of communication open between parents and children. This last bit is especially important, Califano said.

Talking to their kids is the only way that parents will know what's going on in their lives, including what societal pressures they face. Admittedly, he said, parents might not like what their children have to say. For instance, Califano said, children might ask their parents whether they've done drugs.

Answering that particular question takes both tact and honesty. First, Califano said, parents should ask their children why they want to know about their drug history. It's possible that they're facing peer pressure or some other factor that has them curious about drugs, and they're looking to their parents for guidance. Also, Califano said, if a child insists on an answer, the parents should be honest and explain their actions.

Conversations like this aren't easy, Califano said, but can go a long way toward helping children making good decisions. "If you don't communicate with your child, somebody else will," he said.

Pamela Mautte, director of the Valley Substance Abuse Action Council, in Ansonia, said she's familiar with Califano's book and with the idea that it's crucial to keep kids away from substances before the age of 21. She agreed with his message that parents greatly influence kids' decisions about drugs and other substances, and said that's a philosophy the council espouses as well.

"Parents are your best line of defense," Mautte said. "The more open the line of communication is with parents, the less likely kids are to engage, not just in substance abuse, but in any risky behavior."