Memoirs of a Butch Lesbian

Banned But Not Forgotten

Yesterday, I was permanently banned from a site that calls themselves a butch-femme site.

Now, this is a site that is owned and operated by a femme and it *used* to be a place for butches and femmes to meet, chat, flirt, or just hang out with one another. But as the TransCult has swept the nation, so has it swept that site, making it a transgender site now.

Ok, first, don’t get me started on what I think about women who think they are men but instead of hanging out with straight people on straight sites, they take over a lesbian site and make their home there. I get it, they are still female and straight women want dick. It’s just a fact of life. It doesn’t make straight women bigots for wanting dick, it just makes them, you guessed it, straight women!

Hence why these women who call themselves men don’t hang out with the straight crowd is pretty clear: they. Are. Not. Men! So, they fall back onto what they know: lesbians. Because we lesbians, we women, have to take in everyone. We cant just be a bunch of lesbians on a lesbian site hanging out and having fun. NO! We have to let in the female transgenders and then cater to them by calling all butches “he” because, we don’t know, maybe that butch over there has decided that “he” is a man now!

So fucking ridiculous. Seriously.

Consequently, slowly, over time, all of these females, these women, who call themselves men or call themselves “male ID’d butches” (an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one!) take over the site and the femmes there let it happen and just shift their focus from butches to these man wannabes. Suddenly it’s a trans-femme site, instead of a butch-femme site. Which is also ridiculous because femmes don’t partner with men, whether they are biological men or women who call themselves men. With a few exceptions (femmes partnering with other femmes, butches partnering with other butches). Femmes partner with butches and butches partner with femmes. Neither are, want to be, or want to be *with* men.

I guess I’m saying that it was no great loss to be banned from the site since it was all trans, all the time and those of us who mourned the loss of the butch-femme site had to keep it to ourselves; and believe me, sister, there are a LOT of unhappy campers on your site who wish it wasn’t a transgender site but a site for actual butches and femmes! I’m hearing from them!

But I digress, because here’s what really gets me about being banned from the site. Here is the part that should make every woman’s blood boil: she banned me from the site because of what I said on ANOTHER site! Even though I held my tongue and played nice on her site, not breaking any rules and even being helpful by keeping track of all of the name changes that go on there, because I spoke some truths about transgenders on youtube (my vlog posts), I was labeled a transphobe, “not safe,” and banned from her site.

This is the big take away here: a Woman silenced another Woman, not only for the sake of transgenders, but because she caught the woman saying things with which she didn’t agree on *another site.* She banned a woman from her site because of the OPINIONS that woman expressed on another site!

This is how far we’ve come, dear reader! Women not only silencing other women for the sake of men, but now also for the sake of “men!” Transgender egos are so very fragile that they cannot handle the truth coming at them from anywhere and demand that we are obedient to them on every site on the internet, lest we be banned from a site over which they have complete control. Control based on fear and stupidity. Fear that if one does not agree with them, one will be shunned and branded a bigot, or worse, the slur, “TERF;” and stupidity because I just find it stupid that women would (a) center their lives on men and (b) enable transgenders delusions instead of embracing the truth.

You are infinitely correct about the site owner you referenced. I have a herstory with them. I am femme. Always have been, always will be. My partners have always presented as heavily masculine dykes. I’m a dyke in a skirt. My strength is in my convictions and giving voice to them.

One day I did something that wasn’t very nice. My partner was reading one of their butch email list serves and left the desk for a while. One of the young “transgender butches” spoke of taking out straight girls and raping them with a strap-on to see if they could distinguish them from straight guys. I was livid.

No one questioned *what* the tg butch was doing. When s/he finished, there was a lot of online backslapping and chuckling. They shared the pride of said tg butch in fooling the women into believing s/he was a “real man” with a “real meat dick.”

Another butch logged on about that time, and she asked some very pointed questions of the tg butch. Inherent in hir questions was hir belief that these rapes were incredibly wrong. S/he was a lone voice in defending these rape victims.

I wrote Max, the lone, sane butch and thanked hir for hir pro-womon opinion. We became online friends from hir days in Boston throughout hir move to Albuquerque and during her stay until she went to the first showing of Radical Harmonies in San Francisco. She came back a changed womyn. Yes, Max was Maxine Feldman, the first open lesbian to perform onstage in the history of the United States, the composer/writer of “Amazon,” the Michigan Women’s Music Festival’s anthem.

I am forever grateful to have had a friendship with hir, even if we met on that stupid Web site.

I get your point. It’s for lesbians and not transmen. What bothers me is what you used to word your opinion. Transmen are NOT women who want to be men. They are men, assigned female at birth. Please don’t be so disrespectful against transgender people. It’s upsetting. (since I’m trans aswell, I just don’t dwell on pages that aren’t for me.)
But yea, I don’t get why they even call themselves lesbian? Why they come to a page dedicated for WOMEN? They’re men. They shouldn’t give a fuck about what biological men think of them. They’re straight men. Period. It makes me angry how the page changed,even though I don’t personally know it, such pages are supposed to be safe spaces. And I wouldn’t feel safe on there considering that MEN literally are on a WOMEN page.

Women are not “assigned” female at birth. The doctor, nurses, & parents determine the baby’s sex by looking at her; & don’t bring up intersex bc (a) they *hate* that & (b) they are variation of one sex or the other or both. They do not prove that there are hundreds or thousands of sexes.

I’m sorry to have to spill this truth to you, sister, but women cant become men & they weren’t boys at birth who were missexed as girls.

You have dysphoria bc of this patriarchal society that quite literally hates women. Why wouldn’t a woman want to cross over & “become” a man?

I know that I am not going to convince you & you definitely wont convince me – I find it laughable that you actually came to this blog w/the trans cult speak, trying to “educate” me! LOL

So we’ll have to agree to disagree & move on to other things.

Thanks for your other comments though. You’re right, they should not even *want* to be in women’s spaces. But it doesn’t make those spaces unsafe bc, after all, they *are* women.