Apr 5, 2012

Enlight

Echoes sounded from the shuffling footsteps of the old man. The long white room appeared to stretch eternal where the distant edges were cloaked in shadow. The low ceiling was enveloped by dozens of old fashioned light globes hanging from the slightest of wires. The crooked man observed one that was desperately emitting static flickers, disturbing the pale lit simplicity of this place. Raising a thin aged nail he tapped the glass before murmuring in satisfaction as it regained its strength and moved on.

"What happens if the light fails?" I whispered, enthralled by the globes as they swayed in around us.

"They die". Dark eyes captured me as the air hummed with the electricity of a thousand lives. "They all die eventually..." he muttered, sweeping a trembling arm towards the engulfing darkness. Holding my breath I watched the emptiness, catching the ebb of a single spark as it briefly cast its essence against the night. The desolate vision of hundreds of lifeless orbs was etched into my mind.

"He was a dear friend he was..."

I turned frantically to the ancient man as he tugged the wisps of colourless hairs spiralling from his chin. "You knew that life?" I gasped, the enormity of what was happening tightening around my chest. I yearned for something to cling onto, anything to stop me falling, to hold me away from so many living elements. "What do we do!" I cried out, unable to suppress the hysteric sense of emergency consuming me.

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"... I really like it when you set the scene, throw it at the reader, describe the general thoughts and feelings, grab my heart and make it beat with the words... Your writing usually captures me with how I have felt at some point, or you make me feel that way... and THEN you tell the story once you have put me there."