The Guy Who Had Sex With a Hot Pocket Speaks Out

Everything you didn't want to know about his process.

By
Cosmo Frank

Feb 28, 2014

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Remember that guy who put, um, himself inside a Hot Pocket? Now he's speaking out in a tell-all interview with First We Feast, because when you post a video of yourself sexing a Hot Pocket online, you probably don't have any sense of shame or privacy.

Hot Pocket Guy talks personal details (he's 18, he says "yo" a lot), as well as what kind of Hot Pocket he had sex with (ham and cheese, because it was the only one at the convenience store he frequents). He also reports that he wore a condom because the Pocket was too hot to handle: it turns out he has a "strong-ass microwave" and put the thing in for FOUR MINUTES, while Hot Pocket instructions specifically say 1:30 – 2:00 minutes.

Most troublesome, though, is the reveal that he works at a restaurant as a chef, although he assures the interviewer that he would never bang any of the food he handles. He did the whole thing for fun, but he does recommend having sex with a Hot Pocket if you're lonely. Just don't post it to the Internet.