Going back = forward?

I had one of those “too-many-feelings-at-the-same-time”-kind of moments.

My initial thought was, as always, to call a friend and spill it out (not even knowing yet, what I had to say) but I have made a promise to myself that I should:

1. Choose more wisely who I share my thoughts with.

2. Think about what my intention is, when I speak about my thoughts.

3. Make actions of my thoughts, without telling anyone at all.

The problem is only, that I haven’t thought my thoughts through yet!

I decided the best thing to do was to go out for a run and get myself together. There is a running path in the woods where I live but the ones of 3 and 5 kilometers is really worn down so I usually take the 2 kilometer’s a 3-4 times.

This literally means that I run around in circles.

Although I haven’t looked at it this way, until today.

While I was running I thought to myself; is there something I’m not seeing? Is there a way to change my thoughts? In my headphones Arcade Fire was screaming:

If you want something, don’t ask for nothing. If you want nothing, don’t ask for something!

When I got to the finish line, (and equally starting point 😉 I suddenly felt like changing direction.

So I did. I ran the other way.

And I know this sounds like a silly “revelation”, but when I did, I found my own thoughts completely change direction too. I laughed at the wit of my own cleverness when the thought; Maybe I should just go back? came to my head. And in that question lies a really important matter for me, for I know which place I’m talking about and what that place has meant for me, for the dreams I have today. The seeds that were planted long ago that haven’t blossomed yet.