Hi all - I have gotten myself into trouble with my one of my bengals, Sasuke. He is a little over 1, so still young. As time goes by, he gets a bit more needy and upset over things I guess. He's the sweetest boy he really is and I blame myself because I let him do this but I think I can still save myself and him! Firstly, the crying. He does this thing where Hel meow and make himself sound strained. Like poor me and my life. I just want to cuddle him :( but I know he's training me haha He also does this thing now where he will sit right next to my bf at his desk (he works from home, lucky kitties!) and just meow for hours to play(?) and even if my bf gives in, it only helps temporarily. He does this to me when I am home too. So I will run up and down the apartment with him with strings and toys sometimes for an hour straight (whew!) and he loves it. Lately all his toys, and he's got them all, are boring to him. The running he loves. He has interactive toys, a huge cat tree, tons of toys, spring toys he loves, everything. Once or twice a month we take him outside (we live in NYC so it's hard) but we hope to do it more whenever we move. He has a Bengal friend, Luna, who's a sweetheart and never asks for a thing. She would starve if she thought I wanted her to. And she plays with him often but she also loves to sleep and chill which he does not understand. Yes they're fixed. The biggest issue is when I go to bed he likes to yell at me for a bit which he quickly gets over. But then - the morning ... My alarm goes off at 7 for work and he can start the meowing anytime from 5 am. It used to be I could put out some dry food and he'd be good, id be back asleep, then it was he demanded wet food that early. Now it's, I want wet food, dry food, treats and I just really want you up. Hel knock things over, pull posters and tapestries off the wall, try to eat my lamp next to my bed, and just cause havoc.

I don't know what to do. And I know all about the bathroom time outs - will that really work at 5 am? Aren't I just adding stress to us both? I don't want to hurt him :-( he's always so grateful and kissy after I play with him and feed him like he's so happy, not malicious. I just don't know why all day long he seems unhappy in a restless way.

I know bengals need a lot... And maybe it's just not enough for him. But I can't move yet. The apartment is not that small either.

It used to be I could put out some dry food and he'd be good, id be back asleep, then it was he demanded wet food that early.

You are, and need to be, the boss in the relationship.

If a cat miaows for food and you give in, get out of bed and give it food then you can't be surprised if it thinks that miaowing again will get it food again. It'll take a couple of weeks with lots of miaowing, which you will need to completely ignore to train him to recognise he isn't going to get fed. The slightest acknowledgement of you of the miaowing will set the clock back to zero and you'll need to start training all over again.

My previous cat was like this, I mean the food issue. I used to give him wet food in the morning (quite early as well, 6.30-7am) so after some time he'd wake me up meowing and/or scratching the door if it was close. He wasn't a bengal and he was overall pretty quiet but he would put on a show every morning. I switched to giving him wet food in the afternoon and it took some time to get him used to it and stop making a dramatic scene every morning (and yes, by morning I mean 5 am or earlier). After a few weeks we were best pals again

1. You need to be strict with him and not give in. Ignore his howls and meows. He is fed when YOU feed him. Not when HE demands it

2. You need to play with him ALOT. Like alot. You could have chosen any breed in the world, but you chose a bengal, and certain breed-specific responsibilities come with that. You need to be playing with him to the point where he is puffed out, for at least 1 hour a day. If you can't providr that, you need to get him a play mate.[/list]

My cats are in charge, I'll admit it. Luckily they have a screened in patio to play and hunt every day. They whine for food and whine to go out. I do my best to give them what they want, and they reward me with entertainment and love. I would be hard pressed to keep them happy without the patio though. They have several cat trees and toys, but they just love being outside chasing and catching lizards, crickets and frogs. When they come inside, they chase each other.

I think because you are giving in all the time to him you are training him to do all of these things.

My cats are put in a separate room at night otherwise they would cause havoc. They both tend to start their major play time from 10pm onwards (!) but when I put them in their room, with some food and a comfy bed they go to sleep and are quiet.

I would expect lots of yowling at first but you need to ignore it and hopefully he will get used to the new routine.

_________________Oscar and Jasper (or one ear and two ears as dh calls them) black rescue mogges

Magic was exactly the same, really demanding and always acting as if he's totally bored, he would wake me at 4am every morning, this wasn't totally his fault as I used to go to work at that time so he thought it was getting up time and didn't get out of the habit when I stopped work.

I started with getting him out of the habit of waking up early, i gradually moved food time later and later until it was the time we wanted to get up, if he did howl in the night I would just tell him no and go back to sleep.

Then I decided to get him a little friend, so we got 3 month old Pearl a couple of weeks ago, he is a changed cat, he follows her everywhere and they run around the house so much that come evening they are both exhausted and sleep all night.

When I am home they wear themselves out following me around all day (incase food magically slips from my fingertips). In the early evening Grace comes inside on her own and goes into the bedroom to sleep she is so tired out from the day's activity. Blondie always stays by my side. When I go to bed they stay in the room (lately both on the bed with me until I get up). They awake before sunrise and sit at the foot of my bed and quietly watch the sun rise. It warms my heart to wake up and see them patiently waiting there looking out at their patio.

I think this behavior also has to do with age. When basil turned one... We called it terrible toddler syndrome. LOL. This was his naughtiest year. He sort of seemed the throw tantrums at night. He did the same sort of thing. Howled all night long and kept us up at night, sometimes even took it to another level. Jumped on our faces, attacked our feet. Knocking stuff over, trying to open doors and turn on lights. Trying to jump on fans... Whew!!

With the howling we use to give in, feed him just to make him stop howling. Then we realized, an hour after feeding he'd just start doing it again. So as hard as it was, we stopped giving into this. We ignored the howls for many weeks and when the howling turned into the feet attacking game, we would stop it with a firm "no." And put him out of the room for 15 minutes. He hated being outside of our room more than ANYTHING and he started to realize that when he did these things, that was the result. The negative behavior slowly started turning into cuddly behavior as when he would lay on the bed instead of attack our feet we would slowly pet him to sleep. My feet are now his pillow instead of his "toys" lol. You just have to show him THAT behavior will not get him what he wants.

I've realized cats are very understanding of routine. They learn it, and following it very strictly. So I suggest trying to stick to the same routine every morning, and every night. Stick to a certain bed time frame. They get that. Cues to show you're getting ready for bed, example: changing, brushing teeth. stick to the same morning routine, Shower, coffee, get ready, THEN play. So they know when and what to expect. Once he gets time to understand your routine he will know when an appropriate time for play is, and when you're not going to. your kitty is still very young and he's probably just now starting to learn his "do's" and "don'ts". The only way for him to learn though is for you to teach him.

_________________"At the end of the day, you can focus on what's tearing you apart,... or what's keeping you together."

Last edited by slbencke on Sat Jan 30, 2016 3:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Jackson Galaxy recommends the "ignoring" as well. It's difficult to do! It can take a cat several weeks to realize, at long last, he/she is not going to get their way. Raiden used to wake me up in the middle of the night and I'd get up and open a can of food for him, even though he had dry food in a bowl. One night as he walked on top of me, I told him to go eat his dry food and come back to bed. I did that for a few nights. Then it got really cold outside and he tends to sleep a lot later. Now he may get up at 3 a.m. but he eats his dry food and comes back to bed. I still wake up twice during the night, so it's not helping me much at all, but at least he isn't crying in the middle of the night.

This is why adult cats rock, especially once you've gotten them into a good routine, and the whole "creature-of-habit" thing starts working for you instead of against you.

After the first few years, they start liking their posh sleeping places more and more, and are like: *yawn* "is it time to get up already?" when I get up each morning. I think also making sure that they have a bedtime snack, or a little food available in their dish overnight helps the cause. If you can avoid breakfast being a huge event, that is a good thing. It sounds like you know what you need to do and have started to get a handle on it though, so I think things will work out real well, it just takes some time, some discipline, and some awareness of what effect each of your actions might be having on your cat's behavior.

Have you tried free feeding? My boy meowed constantly untill I started free feeding him. He calmed down and doesn't even eat it half the time but he seems happy to know he has some there for when he needs it. No yawning at me for food because it's in his bowl for whenever he wants it. He seems to regulate the amount he eats cos he never scoffs everything.

I free feed my 2, I find it does work really well, neither are over weight and they are happy cats who don't keep bothering me for food all the time.I have done this with every cat I have had, if they ask I put down small amounts of food at a time, they don't always eat it straight away but it does go eventually.It's almost like they are happy to know the food is there.

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