Not all grandmas are sweet, cookie-baking, free-babysitting-providing, cuddly little old ladies. Some of them are BAD.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Bad Grandmas Age Gracefully

I watched 70-something Raquel Welch on Oprah yesterday and was immediately very aware of my brillo-pad hands, my fungus feet, my chicken neck, a tummy that even a girdle can’t restrain, and a face that is now covered with what I euphemistically refer to as “huge freckles.”

The theme of the show was glamorous grandmas.

I am sure that there were millions of grandmas who, like me, watched the show and, if their husbands were watching with them (as mine was), kept up a constant stream of commentary along the lines of: “if I had a personal trainer, liposuction and a good plastic surgeon, I’d look like that too!” And: “I could have hair like that if we didn’t have to eat and pay the mortgage.” And then: “you like her makeup? Well, we’ll stop feeding the cats, and you can give up beer.”

My husband quickly told me that he loves me just the way I am. I think it was the beer thing.

But I Have to admit that this touched me in my sensitive spot! I bet my left arm you are absolutely beautiful in real life... why, oh, WHY do we seem to think that YOUNG is beautiful? It's among my pet hates - I love a good laugh line. I love faces that have LIVED. Frozen faces and abnormally tight necks freak me out...

If you can stand a small dose of soapbox, here's my take:http://bushbabe.blogspot.com/2010/01/laugh-lines.html:-)BB

Hello! I am grandma. And if I had lots and lots of $$, I would be perfect. But I am not, and I am trying (emphasis on trying) to age gracefully. I let Gabe and Ella play with the extra skin on my elbows....and laugh when Ella (age 4) askes why I "have a big tummy". "Well, Ella, (ahem) maybe grandma eats too much. Or MAYBE it's because I had three babies (cough-cough). "Grandma! Are you having another baby"?The End