For many, the best way to get over a break up and move on is to jump into another relationship. However, this could be a mistake as you are still emotionally vulnerable and could be a victim for a more devastating situation. Carrying on a relationship requires some emotional stability and inner strength to keep on going. As they say, a relationship can never be like being single because it is a full-time job. Don’t sweat it out. Wait and be prepared for the real thing when it comes.

Here are some signs to prove you are not ready for a new relationship since you have not fully recovered from the former.

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1. You are still distorted

You still can’t figure out why your ex left you, or if you want to get back with your ex. You still value and cherish the moments you had so you find it hard to let go. You are seriously considering some breakup sex. That is to say, you are hoping that they will come back. You do not have that clarity yet and truly cannot harness what you feel. Before you get into a new relationship, you really need to be honest with yourself.

2. You are hurt

You still have some bitterness swelling inside you and you simply can’t let go. You wish you could have your vengeance or try to get back at your ex. Sometimes, you cry at your loss and you really can’t come to term with the fact that it is over. All that resentment has to go before you set yourself up for a new relationship.

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3. You are still holding on to something that belongs to them

You have something that kept you and your ex together for a while. It could be the memories, it could be their items, or the envisioned future that you hoped to shared together. You have this thing tucked somewhere in your heart, or in your closet, and you need to let it go before you move on to a new relationship.

4. You are afraid

Fear can be synonymous with love. You are afraid to get hurt again. You think every other person is like your ex and that they are out to break and hurt you. You do not want to risk anything. You aren’t ready to fight for what could be an exciting journey either.

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5. You are angry

It is one thing to be hurt, but it is another thing to be angry and not willing to forgive. You believe you have been wronged and that the Fates have played a fast one on you. Such bitterness won’t allow you to see the possibilities and the beauty that could be waiting for you just ahead. If you want to be happy and enjoy a new relationship, you have to be willing to forgive and be ready to appreciate what you benefited from in your past relationship, rather than what you lost.

6. You are lazy

The act of being broken makes you sort of lazy and weak. A new relationship has to make you feel alive, active, and full of life. You can’t be lazy and have dulled senses to get into something new. Most times, a relationship is meant to unleash our creativity and romantic capacities. If you are lazy and can’t give enough energy into a new relationship it means you have still not gotten over your former relationship. Be willing to give some energy. If you are going into a new relationship, push yourself to making your other half happy.

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Conclusion

Altogether, it does take a while to get out of a broken relationship and fully recover from the emotional pain. It is better and more important for you to fully recover from a broken relationship and face future possibilities in a new relationship. Taking note of these signs could be helpful in determining where you are at the moment.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.