Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (PG-13)

Whatever goodwill one harbored toward the first Pirates film is quickly dashed by its successor, a two-and-a-half-hour trailer for the final installment in this accidental trilogy. The entire crew from the 2003 hit returns, both in front of the camera and behind; the sole new face of any consequence is Bill Nighy as Davy Jones, the mythic, squid-faced beastie of seafaring legend who's said to collect and control those damned to the depths of the deepest blue. Turns out Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp, still offering his impression of Tattoo You-era Keith Richards) needs to square his debt to Davy and can do so only by fetching his still-beating heart locked away in a chest on some remote island. All the old pals are back -- among them Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and fiancée Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) -- but the story's so convoluted as to render it all but incomprehensible. Dead Man's Chest makes no sense if you haven't seen the first movie and is utterly pointless without the third installment that ostensibly wraps up this mess.