As it’s the home of Los Angeles and all its attendent glitz, glamour and oodles of cash, you’d assume that California would be one of the richest states in the USA, and would be relatively untroubled by the C****t C****h. You’d be wrong.

The Golden State has just declared a state of fiscal emergency, after they had a good look at the books and realised that all the money is scheduled to run out in February unless the budget is seriously redrafted, and redrafted quickly.

Luckily, California is governed by a man renowned for his cunning mathematical wizardry, who should comfortably guide the state out of this… no, hang on a tic, it’s governed by Arnold f***ing Schwarzenegger. A man renowned for pumping iron and acting badly in a string of atrocious movies. And for being a bit of a lecherous woman-gropist.

At least Arnie did the right thing and cancelled his flight to Sacramento where he was due to announce the fiscal emergency. Well, you wouldn’t want to be seen making needless public expenditure in this critical time would you?

Hang on, what’s that? He cancelled the trip because it was too foggy? Oh Terminator, when will you learn to think and feel like we humans do…