Missing Mom and other updates

May 8th, 2020 at 01:54 pm

May 6th was the one-year anniversary of my mom’s passing. I miss her terribly. On that day it was cold, rainy and windy and a planned trip to visit the cemetery was postponed until the next day. My brother and I drove separately, wore masks, and stayed the recommended 6 feet apart. We placed fresh flowers, said some silent prayers and then sat on a nearby bench (still distancing) to talk. My brother and I are very close, and I have missed seeing him in person, even though we talk and text frequently. It was great to see him, although not being able to give him a parting hug was sad.

After that I went to the grocery store to pick up some fresh fruit and veggies and a few other things. They were still out of the usual things, TP, hand sanitizer and Clorox wipes. I was surprised that they did have a pretty decent amount of meat, and I scored a couple of packs of my favorite, organic chicken strips that they have been out of for a while. Everyone wore masks and kept a safe distance from each other.

In keeping with my zero food waste quest, I used up a small piece of chicken, a small amount of left over mixed veggies, and a last handful of cooked pasta by throwing it all into a pan with some seasonings and giving it a quick stir fry. It was surprisingly good!

I was curious as to when the last time was that I bought gas for the car. It was March 18th and I still have almost a full tank! I do go out and start her up every few days just so the battery doesn’t die, but I’m mostly only driving to the store and back. I wonder how long I can go until I need a refill. At this rate it could be a while yet.

I had ordered some sketching supplies that came in, and I have really been enjoying rediscovering this hobby. I am pretty rusty, but it’s slowly coming back and I’m happy to have the time to do this again. When I was working full time, I just didn’t seem to be able to access my creative side and I’m glad it’s still there!

Under these circumstances (not really being able to safely go out and do much yet) I think the thing I enjoy about retirement the most so far are my peaceful mornings. I’m still waking up early, but I don’t have to rush around to get ready. I can enjoy my morning coffee, get caught up on the news, check my emails, and slowly ease into the rest of my day. I am already calmer and happier!

7 Responses to “Missing Mom and other updates”

May 6 must have been a hard day for you. I know I still miss my mom, and she's been gone for almost twenty years now. But that speaks to the impact she had on my life, and I realize I was very lucky to have her as long as I did. I hope you will find peace in your memories in the coming years.

The anniversaries associated with deceased loved ones are hard. On the anniversary of her father’s death, my mother would always say ‘my dad died xx years ago, and that’s a long time for a little girl to be without her daddy’. She was in her 20’s when he died, but now that she is gone, I know what she meant.

Since the pandemic started, I have an incredibly strong feeling that my mother is here, or that I am waiting for her to call and tell me what to do, or not do. Like ‘get up and go for a walk, don’t just lie around feeling sorry for yourself.’ And so I do what I think she would say!

You never get over missing a parent. I know with my dad it got easier to cope with after several years, but was still hard. Still missing my FIL pretty hard, too. I hope the day was just that little bit easier for seeing your brother.

Sorry to hear you’re missing her so much.. everyone is different with how long they miss a parent for. I remember when my dad died missing him terribly for the first 9 months and then it slowly started to lift. Wishing you strength and hoping you enjoy happy memories of your mother.