halloween

It’s Halloween and you’ve been coerced into attending a party or 12 tonight, but your ironic Scream mask isn’t going to cut it this year. You’ve got a few hours to throw together something timeless and classic, or be forever ridiculed as “that guy who showed up with a sheet on his head.” Seize this opportunity to relive the glory days of these “Saturday Night Live” characters that were adapted for the big screen. Whatever you choose though, please don’t be Pat.

Just in time for Halloween, the ten most terrifying movies on the Sundance Channel run a gauntlet of horrific styles. For traditional slasher-movie thrills, we’ve got the original FRIDAY THE 13TH (and, inevitably, a slasher sequel with FRIDAY THE 13TH PART II). Others are horror classics too distinctive to be called traditional; David Cronenberg and Roman Polanski rarely seem more at home than when they channel their own personal obsessions into the horror genre with movies like ROSEMARY’S BABY, THE FLY, and SPIDER. Lars Von Trier’s ANTICHRIST fits into this pattern, too; it bears little resemblance to its genre brethren and is unmistakably the work of Von Trier, yet it is a horror picture, of sorts, filtered through the director’s bracing, often lyrical misery. Of course, there are other ways to get scared without even going into horror; Danny Boyle’s THE BEACH offers a scary vision of paradise corrupted, and, come to think of it, so does David Lynch’s BLUE VELVET, in its own way. If you want to freak out, there’s no shortage of options.

Horror pushes characters to their limits — especially female characters, who generally have to stay alert and fight back if they want to make it through two hours alive. To be a horror hottie, it’s not enough to have good looks. You need smarts, resourcefulness, strength and a special something extra. In THE WIG, airing tonight at midnight, you’ll see just how hot horror heroines can be and how, sometimes, good deeds become their own punishment.

Okay, it may not be the most original approach, but this week I rounded up a bunch of scary movie trailers because hey, it’s Halloween and everyone’s talking about it. Too much, in fact. None of my friends have kids yet – the only excusable reason for an adult to get amped up it – and yet many are inexplicably entranced by the holiday. Luckily, no one’s asked me what I’m going as, maybe because my friends all know by now that I don’t care. I like candy and I like drinking on a Monday night as much as the next person, but not with a bunch of women who’ve picked the first snow weekend of the year to go out dressed like whores. On purpose – not by accident. A good friend of mine, who’s also a snappy and sometimes theatrical dresser, someone I would normally think would go all out for the opportunity for outlandish dressing that Halloween affords, surprised me by confiding that she doesn’t dress for Halloween because she takes so much time in thinking of what she’ll wear on all the other 364 days of the year that it’s simply too exhausting. This weekend, I join her in taking a stand against all your avid Halloweeners out there, and yeah you can boo me as much as you want. And oh yeah, this is supposed to be about movies:

Halloween or Williamsburg: Anyone that’s ever set foot in Williamsburg, Brooklyn can attest that outfits seen on the sidewalk can be startlingly strange. One minute, you’re looking at a modern Jimi Hendrix and the next, an NYU student’s take on Annie Hall. If you didn’t live here, you might think these people were en route to a costume party or similarly themed event. A brilliant new blog, “Halloween or Williamsburg,” documents some of the neighborhood’s goofiest get-ups…

Halloween is just around the corner, and if you don’t have your costume ready yet let us inspire you with a line up of seriously scary movies. Seriously. I mean it. Like if you really wanted to dress up as some of the characters in these movies you could probably just pour of bucket of fake blood over your head and call it a night. Or, if you’re like me and prefer to leave the gore onscreen, there’s no better way to drown out the sound of your doorbell ringing and scare away the trick-or-treaters on the other side by tuning into Sundance Channel and turning the volume wayyyy up.

Don’t know what to watch first? Allow me to break it down quick and dirty:

POSSESSION OF DAVID O’REILLY: Scary-as-hell supernatural demons in a ”shockumentary” that will haunt your dreams.

I hate Halloween. Before you cascade me with weak metaphors and insults that don’t really break the surface, hear me out. Think about all that Halloween represents:

Kids: Your child is neither cute nor charming, and throwing a bed sheet over the poor kid’s head still doesn’t make it cute or charming, it just makes it look like a Klan member.

And hey, parents, great idea to let your kids dress up and ask strangers for a “trick or treat,” (Halloween must be an unthinkably grand holiday for pedophiles) and run through traffic on a corn syrup high (in “fun-sized” portions, of course) on a quest to accumulate enough candy to clinch type 2 diabetes before the age of ten…

I’ve never been particularly fond of Halloween. Even as a child, I found the holiday tiresome. I was pained by the process of coming up with a costume cool enough to showcase in my elementary school’s Halloween parade, and would dread the inevitable moment when my classmates would ask me what I was doing that night. My cheeks would turn bubble gum pink as I’d sheepishly admit that I was going trick-or-treating with my mom as opposed to friends, or, ideally, with those large gangs of sugar-crazed kids who’d run from house to house like they were competing to set the record for the fastest trick-or-treaters in the world. I hated those kids, hated the aggressive, greedy spirit they cast into the air. I was perfectly content to spend the evening meandering through the neighborhood with my mom before retiring home to sort my candy by type while my parents watched “The Commish.”

Today, I approach Halloween with similar indifference. I don’t dress up like a prostitute, I don’t seek out the hottest Halloween parties and I don’t binge on fun-size candy bars – or fun-size alcoholic beverages, for that matter. But there is one thing I do: I make pumpkin seeds…

Winter is upon us, which means we’re about to be bombarded by a city-wide attack of the basic black coat. But you don’t have to be another boring, cold weather offender: wear red! We break down bright Winter dressing.

If cladding yourself in stop sign red isn’t your thing, we gotcha. But basic doesn’t have to be so blahh…

If every mom in the U.S. was as awesome as this blogger, Nerdy Apple Bottom, we think you could successfully eradicate bullying, homophobia, sexism, and mean-ism in one fell swoop. Or at least make a huge dent in them. Here’s why: Her five-year-old son — who may or may not be gay and she’s totally okay with that either way — begged to dress up as Daphne from Scooby Doo. At the last minute he started panicking that people would make fun of him. Turns out he shouldn’t have worried about his peers… it was the other moms who acted like overgrown Mean Girls. Under the guise of “concern” they questioned the blogger’s decision as a mother to let him do this, and expressed shock (and even disgust) that she hadn’t put her foot down and said no. Nerdy Apple Bottom writes:
Just as it was heartbreaking to those parents that have lost their children recently due to bullying. IT IS NOT OK TO BULLY. Even if you wrap it up in a bow and call it ‘concern.’ Those women were trying to bully me. And my son. MY son.

Lady Gaga just Tweeted this slideshow she put together of many a monster who dressed in her likeness for Halloween. It’s pretty cool to watch see the diversity of her fans: age, shape, sex, sexuality, race. They’re like a rainbow coalition of freak flag flyers! Another remarkable thing after watching it is just how many…

Ke$HA + Sultry Cowboy = Party Perfection. (Photo by Angela Weiss/Getty Images)
The question that my girlfriends and I always have around Halloween is where to go? This is everything, honey. This is the most important decision. Where you go can make or break the night. You need to make the right decisions.

You have two basic choices: a) find the sickest, most off-the-hook party or b) throw your own. Both are great ideas that can pay off big-time. But both have the possibility of, you know, totally blowing. I’ve broken up with fag hags because of their awful parties, so be warned.

Now-that’s-what-I’m-talking-about. (Photo by Angela Weiss/Getty Images)
In my previous entry around here I introduced myself and gave you, the professional fag hag, some pointers about Halloween. I am at it again. This time I want to talk about something even more important than your Halloween costume. It is what we all want on Halloween, whether we’re willing to admit it or not.

Halloween is all about Hooking Up, natch.

And what better night than Halloween to let that inner ho come out and see the light of day. We know you’re nasty, so stop acting all prissy. Strip off that twin-set, Muffy. We’ve got men to go after.

Kids all over are looking forward to trick-or-treating or Halloween parties this coming Sunday: dress up in a cool costume, get lots of candy… what could be better? If you’re a parent raising your child on a organic, vegan, kosher, or otherwise specialized diet, Halloween can be hell, though… not only do you need to check candy for tampering, but also for meeting the dietary guidelines you’ve established for your children.

A few weeks ago we fondly wrote about the Know Your Meme podcast, and specifically highlighted their coverage of the loveable Antoine Dodson of “Bed Intruder” fame. Well, now he’s got what he (at least) is calling the # 1 Halloween get-up of 2010: The official Bed Intruder Costume! And good for him — why…

These costumes are perrrrfect. (Photo by Angela Weiss/Getty Images)
Hi. I am Bradford. I am the big homosexual around Sundance Channel. Yes, Sundance hired me to be gay. I write the Homoculture column on the SUNfiltered blog and I am the cofounder of fabulis, a social network of 100K gay men and growing. They made the right decision in hiring me. I don’t think there is anyone gayer in this world. Except for maybe Boy George, Johnny Weir, and Liberace. But Liberace’s dead, so I’m claiming spot Number #3.

Well enough about me (oh yeah, I bet your best gay friend says that all the time too, and guess what, we don’t really mean it). But I do want to talk to you. The fruit fly! The fag hag! The girl at the club dancing in the corner with the sweaty sea of shirtless men. You, honey. We have something to discuss.

A national holiday is before us. Gay Christmas! The one day of the year it is totally acceptable to go to work dressed as Shakira. Or Bea Arthur. Or a fetish cop. Yes, Halloween, Miss Thing!

I know Halloween. And though I look super young (moisturize! moisturize! moisturize!) I have actually seen my fair share of Halloweens. Which is why I come to you, lady, with this list of Halloween Dos & Don’ts from GIRLS WHO LIKE BOYS WHO LIKE BOYS:

Thanks to our friends at Lemondrop (although “thanks” may be the wrong word), we recently discovered Pornkins, “an all new way to spice up your Halloween party” according to the website. Whose parties are they talking about? Except for a few L.A. sex biz companies and some midwestern frat houses, we’re guessing (hoping) the demand…

It’s time to start thinking about all things Halloween: costumes, candy, and haunted houses. This photo shared on Reddit of people visiting a haunted house is hysterical to me. Recently I tweeted some topical Halloween costumes. 1. Partner up with a friend and be a DOUBLE RAINBOW. 2. Wear Brooklyn hoodie with BK-centric trash attached…

As the post-Halloween haze lifts, lets take a moment to reflect back on some of the more imaginative, creative, and/or topical costumes from around the country that reverberated around the Internet and blogosphere this week. My favorite this year fell on the surreal artsy side of things. Artist Eric Testroete built a “papercraft self-portrait,” which reminds me of those easter egg modes in video games that turns all the characters heads into “big heads.” More after the jump.

What’s one to do with all that leftover candy from Halloween trick or treating? Turn them into a delicious treat with this non-serious baking trick suggested over at Serious Eats. Dump all the extra candy you couldn’t finish into a pie and let it all melt together (recipe here). Feel free to then submit a…

Think of this as your FULL FRONTAL FASHION cliff notes. Design sketch for Halloween ’09 Prepare for Halloween, the biggest amateur fashion show of the year, as Bradford Shellhammer designs his costume. Check out the runway looks south of the border at Mexico Fashion Week. Have you ever been arrested for making art in a…

There are a lot of top ten lists for “scariest movie of all time,” but from box office hits to oddball cult classics, there are some movies that turn up again and again. You’ll notice a few favorites are missing, namely HALLOWEEN (1978), which has great 70s kitsch value and hands down more naked boobs than any movie on this list, but as a movie, it’s really not all the frightening, right? And no, I didn’t forget THE EXORCIST (1973) either, but buckets of green puke are more gross than scary. You’ll notice, too, that there aren’t a lot of new scary movies, and that’s not because I don’t like them, but I think we should let them stand the test of time a bit before we start putting them on all-time lists.

10. WAIT UNTIL DARK (1967)

This oft-forgotten gem stars Audrey Hepburn as a blind woman terrorized by Alan Arkin and his gang of thugs who think she has a doll full of heroin. Bet you never thought a refrigerator light would save your life.

9. NOSFERATU (1922)

Greatest vampire movie of all time? Michael Myers stole all Nosferatu’s best moves in HALLOWEEN (the white face, the lurking) but the original is still the bone-chilling best.