I stand by my first comment, though it merely reflects upon me; should I find myself in that predicament, I would examine our relationship. Simply calling it cheating (or not) is, by definition, limiting – and counter-productive to the relationship. For me.

I think its a form of emotional cheating and it can become very destructive to the relationship. Every once in a while it may just happen but… if it’s a regular thing .. the relationship probably needs evaluation.

@KalWest: I’m thinking it’s normal to have inadvertent images of other people come into play while having sex but I’d be more afraid of if I felt I needed to focus on a particular person’s image to get aroused or to orgasm while having sex with another.

I don’t consider that cheating. We’re open about that kind of thing with each other, everyone does it. I fantasize about pretty much anyone I know, I imagine myself and my partner with them, I imagine my partner fucking them or getting fucked by them. It’s all good. I never shamed myself for my thoughts.

It’s no more cheating than it is to get aroused by seeing another person and then having sex with your partner. There’s a reason why humans aren’t telepathic. If our thoughts were reason for punishment or anger, then damn, everyone would be locked up and not speaking to each other.

It isn’t cheating. It would be concerning if you had to focus on a specific real person to get off while having sex with your partner. I have fantasies about all sort of people and situations, I don’t really want to have sex with any of those people though. I also don’t necessarily want to experience the situations I play out in my imagination in real life.

I guess I don’t consider it cheating because I’d never have the opportunity to be with that person in real life anyway, so it doesn’t matter. If I’m fantasizing about someone else, it’s usually a celebrity like Johnny Depp, Dave Navarro or Daniel Craig. And occasionally Alyssa Milano. :P I think that’s pretty damn normal and not cheating.

Now, if I were to have a fantasy about my husband’s best friend or something… that might be more of a problem, and I’ve have to think about what it meant.

Yup. Sin doesn’t need to be by action. It can also be by thought.
That is the whole context of Jimmy Carter’s famous “sinned in my heart” statement.
Man cannot escape being a sinner. That is why Christ is so important. He took away all your sin. All you need to do is accept Him.

@KalWest@WillWorkForChocolate is Nina from Fluther. Mzzzz Vzzzz is here too! A lots of others. I hope you’ll stick around. Now, I must stop following this thread before I have to wash my eyes out with soap. : )

I can understand why someone would, but I think it’s pretty normal. I don’t think it should be considered cheating, especially if the person doing the fantasizing is only fantasizing and not doing anything other than that.

I did this once when I chose to have sex with a person who was pretty much a stranger to me. I wasn’t very sexually attracted to him but we’d agreed to be intimate so when it came down to it, I used my imagination and did fantasize about someone else’s image in order to get comfortable. I didn’t ever need to do that again, it was kind of freaky.