NSPCC: 'Girls think they have to act like porn stars to be liked by boys'

Girls think they have to look and perform “like porn stars” to be liked and
valued by boys, a landmark report by the children’s charity NSPCC shows.

By Louisa Peacock and Emma Barnett

7:00AM BST 03 Sep 2013

Almost a third of school pupils believe online pornography dictates how young people have to behave in a relationship, the study of 601 pupils aged 11 to 18 reveals.

The majority of pupils surveyed – 72 per cent – also said porn should be talked about in sex education classes, suggesting existing lessons are too focused on the mechanics of reproduction and lack meaningful discussion about the issues young people face online every day.

* Sign our petition to update the sex and relationships teaching guidance to bring it into the 21st century

Claire Lilley, policy advisor at NSPCC, said: “It’s natural for children to become curious about puberty and sex. If they are not learning what they need to at school or at home they will turn elsewhere, including to porn. What pornography teaches boys is that girls are for sexual gratification, whilst girls feel they have to look and perform like ‘porn stars’ to be liked and valued by boys. This makes children vulnerable to being forced or pressured into behaving sexually.”

The comprehensive study, commissioned by The Daily Telegraph, highlights the extent to which the growth of online porn is, in many cases, distorting school children’s ideas and real-life experiences about what a good relationship looks like.

Some 28 per cent of pupils think porn definitely “influences how young people have to behave in a relationship”, with a further third saying it “sometimes” affects how young people act when with their partner.

Ms Lilley said it was vital that sex education lessons reflected the digital era that we now live in, equipping teachers with the right tools to help pupils interpret what they see and come across online – from porn to the sexualisation of women and peer pressure on social media – and understand what a good relationship is.

“We can’t afford to be coy about sex education. Many children will have already been exposed to a vast amount of inappropriate, unrealistic and sometimes downright harmful pornography through the internet. This can warp their view of what is normal and acceptable sexual behaviour, how they treat others and how they expect to be treated.

“To protect children from these damaging messages they must be taught about sex in the context of healthy, caring relationships and how to protect and respect themselves and others.”

In England and Wales, sex and relationships education is currently taught within personal, social, health and economic (PSHE) lessons. But the statutory [check] sex and relationships guidance teachers use to plan lessons was last updated in 2000 and practically predates the internet, not least the rise of social media.

The NSPCC findings come as The Daily Telegraph launches a campaign for better sex education in secondary schools, starting with an update to the sex and relationships guidance to reflect the digital era.

The current guidance makes no mention of the internet or the challenges young people face regarding the ease and accessibility of online porn, the pressure to document their lives and relationships on social media, online bullying or sexting.

Claire Perry, Conservative MP and the Prime Minister’s advisor on children, said: “It is because of this brave new world we find ourselves in, that I welcome The Telegraph’s ‘better sex education’ campaign.

“The rise of sexting, online bullying, porn and young people documenting their entire lives on the web, needs to be a core tenet of how we teach sex and relationships to children in secondary schools.”

Many teachers feel they cannot stray from the official guidance on what to teach and don’t have the right tools to plan a meaningful lesson or know what to do when sensitive subjects come up.

Ms Perry said: “Rather than putting one more set of responsibilities on the shoulders of hard-working teachers, it should be possible to encourage schools to develop working relationships with the many excellent charities and organisations that used trained experts to deliver the right messages to young people in appropriate and high impact ways.”

A wave of reports in recent months have demonstrated the need for the Government to act to improve sex education in secondary school. A report by Ofsted, the education regulator, recently found that PSHE education in schools is "not good enough" in a significant number of schools and that this is leaving young people vulnerable to exploitation and abuse.

Separate research by the Children’s Commissioner found a shocking number of young people don’t know what a good relationship looks like.

The current curriculum focuses on the mechanics of sex and the biology of getting pregnant, such as the reproductive system and foetal development, as well puberty. However, information about contraception and safe sex is discretionary and discussion about relationships is often neglected.

Telegraph Wonder Women is campaigning for better sex education, urging David Cameron to bring sex and relationships education into the 21st century. Sign our petition at change.org/bettersexeducation or email us at bettersexeducation@telegraph.co.uk. Follow the campaign on Twitter #bettersexeducation, @TeleWonderWomen