It
was mid-spring of my fourth grade year as I stood there looking at my
friend Emily questioningly. Her straight brown hair pulled back into
a ponytail and held with an elastic tie; deep muddy brown eyes that
left a hint of amber sparkling in their depths. In her grey t-shirt,
jeans, and everyday sneakers; with her fearless, and sometimes brash,
attitude – she didn't care if she got muddy or wet. But for some
reason – I did. I was always afraid that I was going to fall in
the creek and go home soaking wet or covered with mud – that
would have been a disaster. I wanted to go exploring, though, so I
was ready to agree with whatever she said next.

"Maybe,
but you could always wipe it off," Emily answered sensibly. She
always had a sensible answer for me. She understood my paranoia and
was trying to make me snap out of it, but most often she sympathized.

"OK,"
I said, "good idea. Let's go!" We hopped on our bikes and
pedaled the two winding blocks to the small creek that meandered
through the neighborhood – just outside of private property. There
was a small indent of blacktop, like a mini parking space, near the
path we used to go down; that's where we always parked our bikes. I had given up a while ago worrying that our bikes would be stolen. It hadn't happened yet, so it probably wouldn't; and besides,
Emily said that her neighborhood was one of the 'top safest' –
though for no good reason I was positive that wasn't true.

We
found the trail and half-stumbled down the hill to the bank. We
could smell the scent of creek water, and hear it gurgle over the
rocks.

"Sure,"
she answered. This was our normal arrangement. Sometimes I led, but
in truth I was
too careful – I always worried that I would fall in and get wet. Often times we went exploring, sometimes going one way up the creek,
and sometimes the other. I didn't have a creek by my house and
loved the chance to go exploring in the "wild" outdoors, instead
of just playing in my backyard. Every so often I wanted to lead, and
Emily let me; she might complain that I was going too slowly, but she
let me lead when I wanted and didn't complain too
much. Nevertheless, she could always find the paths quicker than I
could, and it was just plain easier to let her lead.

We
hopped from rock to rock, switching banks as we went along.

"Slow
down," I begged. "Wait up. How did you get across here?"

"I
jumped," she answered, "from that rock to there to there."

"Are
you sure?" I asked, "I don't think I can make it." My heart
beat faster, warning me of tripping, sliding, falling, splashing,
getting wet, muddy – I shook my head to clear it. Timidly I
stepped into the middle of the creek.

"Of
course you can make it!" Emily said encouragingly. "There, you're
halfway already. Now I'll move back and you leap over to this
bank. Are you ready? Go!" A second behind the command, I figured
I'd have to get over somehow, and jumped.

"Hey! That wasn't so hard!" I exclaimed.

"No,"
agreed Emily, "you just have to get yourself to do it. Nothing is
really that bad. It just looks it."

The
next part of the creek didn't have any way to travel through it. The creek went through a channel where the bank was steep and
slippery – basically like a miniature cliff. There were no stones
to step across and it was only shallow enough if you wanted to wade
up to your knees. Instead, we had to race along the back of
somebody's yard. We clambered up the bank and sat crouching on the
ground behind some bushes. I was worried that someone would see us
and we'd be caught trespassing; my adrenaline was pumping and I was
so sensitive I would have jumped a mile high had someone said 'boo'. But somehow, it was still fun.

Emily ran across first. Scurrying
through the only space without bushes, she didn't look up at the
house – but I did. It was pretty big, and had huge windows in the
back – with someone in the window seat. She looked to be about 15
– a lot older than I was – with brown hair…I think. It was
kind of hard to tell at that distance.

There's
someone there! I thought
fearfully. I'll wait until
she goes away. I stood
there for what felt like a few minutes, but the person didn't
leave. She just sat there as if amused, waiting for me to cross. Pretty soon Emily came back.

"What
are you waiting for?"

"There's
a girl sitting up there watching us," I pointed. I could barely
see her face, but I could guess what she was thinking. She had no
expression but she was doubtless thinking something like: 'Get out
of my yard!'

"Really?"
Emily looked to see where I was pointing. "Oh. How long has she
been there?" She looked at me curiously, probably wondering my I
was so frightened of a girl watching us. But then again, Emily knew
why, she just didn't bother to care. As long as nobody caught her,
and what she was doing wasn't specifically wrong, Emily didn't
get freaked out like I did.

"She's
been there since before you went across; and she doesn't look like
leaving anytime soon." What went unspoken – but we both knew I
meant it – was the desire not to cross while the girl was watching
us.

"Yeah,
well. In that case we should just cross anyway."

"But,
we're on her property. We're trespassing!" I didn't want
her to call the police; then we'd get caught and go to jail!

"Yes,
but we're only crossing." Emily knew that I didn't care as
much as I let on, and if she pushed enough I would agree. Because
deep down I knew it too, and that's what Emily was trying to get me
to show – the fact that I really didn't care, and would let
whatever happens, happen.

"Still,
what if she catches us?" I hated getting in trouble, and it would
be so embarrassing. However, I was beginning to understand Emily's
philosophy; as long as I believed nothing bad would happen – most
of the time it wouldn't. That didn't mean I shouldn't watch
out in case it did, but I should take what comes and not freak out
about something just slightly possible.

"Well,
she's watching us right now, and it's not like she's going to
call the police or anything. We're
not going to get in trouble,"
Emily had read my mind and told me exactly what I needed to hear. That in no way, no how, were we going to get in trouble. That the
chance of getting caught was so slight it wasn't even worth having
in your mind.

I
looked up at the window again. That girl was not
moving anytime soon. She looked like she was enjoying
watching us run across, for goodness' sake. Oh, well. 'We're
not going to get in trouble; we're not going to get in trouble'
repeated over and over in my mind, and I ran across.

Meeting
Emily on the other side, we both looked back up at the window. Yup,
she was still there – still enjoying the view. Too bad, I
convinced myself, I
didn't care any more.

Taking Emily's philosophy to heart,
I decided to lead for a little while. I found that once I stopped
worrying about what might
happen I could focus better on what would. And surprise, surprise! I could have a lot more fun that way.

We
continued on down the creek, stopping at islands or in forested areas
periodically. Then it was time to go back home to have lunch. As we
passed the girl's house again I glanced up at the window. She was
still there – and pointing at us! She was showing us to her mother
and laughing! Oh, well. I didn't care anymore; I wasn't afraid
of her. Point all you want,
I thought, I'm
having fun.

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