YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The television viewing world first took note of Mister Grant Show when he paraded his bulging biceps and moody bad boy attitude around on the boob tube juggernaut that was Melrose Place. Since that golden nugget of television obsession ended in 1997, Mister Show has plied his sexy stuff on recurring roles on Six Feet Under, Strong Medicine, Point Pleasant, Dirt and some show in production called Swingtown, which given the current writer's strike prolly leaves Mister Show twiddling his hunky thumbs like most other working actors in Hollywood.

Your Mama imagines he occupies some of his unexpected spare time running his sorta newly opened Sunset Boulevard bar/restaurant called The Happy Ending, which looks like a real beer, hot wings, and vomiting gurls sort of place to Your Mama. He is also, according to tipster Tommy Talksalot, selling his Beachwood Canyon house. Property records indicate Mister Show purchased the three story, 3,483 square foot Mediterranean meets Moorish mish-mash in 1997 for just $560,000.

We like 1927 vintage of the 3 bedroom and 2.5 bathroom house, and it's nice that Mister and Missus Show, whose name is improbably Pollyanna, have updated the place with a new kitchen and baths. But what's the deal with the anemic decor? We realize that not every working actor has the interest or pocketbook to hire a nice gay decorator to overhaul their homes, but maybe they should anyway?

All the furniture, including the Gustav Stickley sofa in the living room and the too narrow dining room table feel under scaled for the generous room sizes. The children will also note with a significant and justified amount of consternation that beyond the beveled mirror in the master, the walls are entirely art free. Do Mister and Missus Show harbor some bizarre religious belief that forbids them from choosing a few nice pieces of art or family photographs to hang on the barren and lonely looking walls?

The kitchen walls and ceiling have been tiled up like a surgery suite (is all that stuff original?) and the the strange looking ceiling articulation with the slit down the middle is a little more abstractly vulgar then Your Mama would prefer in a room where we feed our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly, bake box cakes, and sliver carrots for Chinese chicken salad.

Because we try to find at least a couple of redeeming features in every property we discuss, Your Mama will confess that we rather enjoy the grape cluster-like chandelier in the dining room, we feel the master bath has been nicely done over, the view is magnificent, and there really are few things that Your Mama likes better than a protected courtyard entrance. And in the main, we are indeed digging Mister and Missus Show's front courtyard with it's raised panel antique gate and saltillo tiles laid at a soothing 45 degree angle to the house. But, and we regret to inform the children there is indeed a but about the courtyard, we are deeply disappointed Mister and Missus Show did not find a more suitable location for the barbecue pit. We like to barbecue as much as the next meat lover, however Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter have a not insignificant aversion to seeing a filthy barbecue pit every time we enter and exit a house. Perhaps there is a better spot for that hot coal contraption?

Although we sometimes give Staging Lady in a Pink Toyota sharp verbal stabs and jabs, it is our humble and meaningless opinion that the second rate decorating dynamo could work this place into something more attractive even on a fairly limited Pottery Barn budget.

The Show house overlooks the circular parcel estate formerly owned by Chuck Berry and recently purchased by Danny Masterson and bad gurl turned not so bad Bijou Phillips for $2,995,029. Next door, soap ack-tur-us Victoria Rowell lives in a 4,354 square foot house, and Tommy Talksalot says PETA spokesperson Eva Mendes lives up the street, or at least she did until she recently checked herself into Cirque Lodge in order to deal with some "not critical" "personal issues" which y'all surely remember is Little Lindsay Lohan's former rehab facility in Utah.

55 comments:

This Grant Show gets a green light. Love this house, even if I'm not so sure about the back-side being visible from the street below... at least from what these pix suggest. Maybe I'll stalk the 'hood and see what's up. Now, while Beechwood is not exactly my ideal location, being East of the 101, for $2M what better home could one find? Any crap re-do by a not-so-wise gay decorator around Melrose & La Cienga is priced as much - without the view. Granted (yes I used it again) its always location that rules, but a view like this could make a buyer forgive the fact that its on the other side of the freeway rather than closer to, at least, Outpost or Nichols Canyon. I'm guessing it will go for something around $1.795 * BTW, just checked out the website for The Happy Ending. OMG - If that ain't tacky, it'll do until we can find it.

I totaly agree with Hippie. I think the old girl has potential. Like the house in general. Not crazy about the back-side being visible, and we are feeling the same about the view.As for LGB and the tub, you are right, it does. Also if I were to ever sit in that tub I would have to chuck that plant out the window, because I would need a place to plunk down my drink. I am never in water without a cocktail.

I doubt there's a privacy issue vis-à-vis the street below -- it's a steep downslope lot (evidenced by one story at street level, three at the rear) and backs to a steep upslope lot (beneath the retaining wall) fronting that section of Hollyridge. Lousy sight lines for nosey passersby, casual or otherwise.

The courtyard is classic, despite being greeted by burning meat every time you enter, without a doubt; but So_Chic, we're talking more than just a little interior demolition.

It's got good bones, but with its mismatched windows, outdated lighting, and dinky breakfast bar, I'd tear it down to the studs and start anew.

PCH, as for the rear facade, although there may not be any privacy issues, I don't think it takes enough advantage of the view. There are undoubtedly some issues with the lack of cohesiveness; that first floor projection looks like someone dumped a "Porta-Potty" on site.

I wasn't sure who this guy was. With Mama's Six Feet Under mention, though he might be the adorable gay brother character, but isn't. This guy, according to ABC, has a dicey new series, Swingtown, delayed by writers strike.

Hey LGB, it's sort of a wonky camera angle, but the rear facade looks like a fairly well sorted '20s design to me. Of course, unless I'm facing an extraordinary landscape or a body of water, I'm pretty much indifferent to views except in their value as a nice-enough backdrop...

Pure speculation, but I'd be very surprised if the projection/balcony weren't part of the original design...very much in line with the era's sensibilities. Not a particularly outstanding execution of the element, and I can see why it seems wrong to you, but it wouldn't bug me.

Princess Perfect- if this house is in East LA then West Hollywood is South Central.

Beachwood is a very desireable area that doesn't get the press of the "bird streets" but has equally great views if not better in my opinion (not as much gleam from the sun off the ocean, but sometimes you can see to Long Beach)..

PCH, maybe it is the crappy photography but the scale and lack of complimentary architectural accents just makes it look alien to me.

That reminds me, I'm running a contest; the first person who comes up with the best bon mot (I will be sole judge, natch) regarding crazy ass Cruise I will send my copy of his unauthorized biography postage paid, anywhere in the world.

(Truth be told, after reading it i kind of feel dirty having it in the house.)

So get cracking chilruns, and give it your best shot; we'll work out the privacy issues of where to send it, etc. when I announce the winner.

Oh good, we're back to LGB capitalizing the comments and turning it into his own little play space. That's six out of 27 comments in this thread so far.

Seriously LGB, a contest for a book? Where are your friends to reign you in and say, uh, LGB you're embarrassing yourself?

Your like a wickedly drunk sorority girl who doesn't have the good sense to stop drinking because she thinks slurring her words and falling down is charming.

You know that girl, the one everyone tolerates because she's loud but everyone secretly thinks is annoying and desperate?

I do try to just read over your comments and I do try to let you have your space to pontificate, jerk yourself off, and try to impress the guests with your wide and arcane array of knowledge. But I can't. Unfortunately I don't suffer fools gladly and I get angry when one person suck all the air out of a room.

Dear Tired of LGB;If you don't "suffer fools gladly" you must find it difficult to listen to yourself talk.Your angry, petty little tirade says much more about you than it does about LGB.Let's keep it civil, shall we? Mama likes it that way and this is Mama's blog, not anyone else's.

One sock getting lost in the washerPaying for extra salad dressingHeavy stemmed asparagusForgetting to buy garbage tagsOwners that mistreat their petsMy ex’s opinions on everythingPeople that cut down pretty trees

Now the everyone's panties are hopefully less in a bunch, let's talk about someone who thinks this house is in "East L.A..." That complaint was really funny and only earned one reply/comment from the group. I'm so disappointed in everyone. Stop spending so much time on personal attacks and start attacking comments. Then you can attack the person. In fact then you should.

Seriously, anyone who wants the book can have it; I simply don't have room for it and think it's a crime to throw a book away. In the cold light of dawn, (it is daylight out there, isn't it?), perhaps the idea of a "contest" is not so funny to some.

But know this: I am NOT trying to dominate this blog; due to the nature of my work I'm in front of a computer sometimes 24/7; it relieves the stress to come visit with Mama and her chilruns. I simply have more opportunity, (which I cherish) to come and play.

As for the book, let me know and it's yours.

To those I may have somehow offended, at least you have the advantage of knowing I'm not hiding behind an anon ID, so when you see my name, just scroll on by. Problem solved.

Peace, love, and all that other warm, fuzzy stuff I've heard so much about . . .

LGB, you keep right on rockin and rollin, the haters hate, and the rest of us enjoy. I look for your posts to read them. LGB is right, just scroll on by if you don't like it. I love my Mama's family and if you don't then move on. You know our moniker's, so you know what to do.

Oh, and LGB, now I feel under pressure to think of a bon mot and I'm blanking....except to say Cruise is the most serious whack-job to come out of Hollywood in a long time and I, for one, do not plan on putting a dime in pocket to further his cause. And, I find him scary! So no bon mot's but more off-topic. Whopeeee!