Proving you don’t need a queer photographer in a ascot rubbing the head of a teenage Thai boy in cutoff jeans shorts to make models look hot, Adriana Lima, Candice Swanepoel and Alessandra Ambrosio stood in some parking lot in Los Angeles to model bikinis. So, to recap, three of the most beautiful women on Earth were chillin in a parking lot in bikinis. If you walked by these three you should be legally allowed to do what Multiple Miggs did.

Proving you don’t need a queer photographer in a ascot rubbing the head of a teenage Thai boy in cutoff jeans shorts to make models look hot, Adriana Lima, Candice…

Britney Spears allegedly defrauded a company that hooked her up with Elizabeth Arden in a deal that made Britney a fortune … this according to a $10 million lawsuit obtained by TMZ. Brand Sense Partners, LLC claims it had a deal with Brit in which the company would get 35% of Britney’s profits in return for securing a perfume contract with Elizabeth Arden.

According to the suit obtained by TMZ, Britney and her dad defrauded Brand Sense by entering into a secret deal with Elizabeth Arden, allegedly robbing Brand Sense of millions in the marketing of her perfume, Radiance.

I’m glad that the lawsuit claims that Jamie Spears is responsible for this instead of Britney, who can’t be held responsible to tie her own shoes. I don’t know why they’d want any part of Britney’s perfumes to begin with. They’re cheap, tacky, and smell a lot like what the banner picture suggests: gas, grease, and a touch of gutter.

Being on a soap opera and a “reality” television show is basically the same thing, but on a soap opera, they aren’t pretending that what you’re watching isn’t scripted. So, it just seems like a natural progression that one of the Kardashian whores would be on one. Specifically, Kourtney Kardashian. Her annoying, grating voice aside, you get to see what she looks like standing next to other humans. Is she walking on her knees? How short is this bitch? All this does is further prove my theory that Khloe was adopted from a shelter on Skull Island. And in case the words on the video didn’t give it away, Kourtney’s character’s name is “Kassandra Kavanaugh”. And her actual dialogue is “Kassandra Kavanaugh, with two K’s”. What the fuck does that even mean? What has two K’s? Kassandra or Kavanaugh? Whatever. Just add this to the list of things this chick sucks at in life. With her dipshit husband and baby who looks like a sleeper cell Al-Qaeda. If they wanted me to watch this shit, they should have named it Kourtney and Kim Take Fukushima.

Yeah, so…maybe that 5th cup of coffee wasn’t the best idea.

Being on a soap opera and a “reality” television show is basically the same thing, but on a soap opera, they aren’t pretending that what you’re watching isn’t scripted. So,…

Yesterday, between Albuterol treatments, Britney Spears announced on Good Morning America that she would be embarking on a summer co-headlining tour with Enrique Iglesias to promote her seventh album, Femme Fatale. Yet mere hours before Live Nation was scheduled to post concert dates, Enrique said whatever is Spanish for, “Damn, she’s really fat, huh? Just tell them my mom died or something. Or I drowned in a flood. Pass the salsa.” TMZ reports:

Enrique Iglesias dropped out of the upcoming Britney Spears concert tour because his ego couldn’t handle being her opening act … multiple sources connected with the tour tell TMZ. We’re told lawyers and agents for Britney and Enrique were hammering out an agreement for weeks, and the terms were finessed to make Enrique appear to be a co-headliner. We’re told both sides agreed to the deal and that’s why the announcement was made Tuesday. But just hours before Britney’s camp went public, Enrique was burning up the phone lines and the Internet, engaging various people connected with the tour in lengthy conversations in which he made it clear — he was, in reality, Britney’s opening act and he wanted out. One source says the deal was actually very favorable to Enrique … “great terms and great placement.” But we’re told it all came down to taking the stage before Brit — too much to handle.

I don’t know. That’s kind of a dick move. I mean, who wouldn’t want to tour with Britney? It’s almost Easter. I’d do it for the giant barbecue-flavored chocolate Easter Bunny alone.

Yesterday, between Albuterol treatments, Britney Spears announced on Good Morning America that she would be embarking on a summer co-headlining tour with Enrique Iglesias to promote her seventh album, Femme…

While Chris Brown is busy pretending she never existed and was just a fabrication of the biased media to keep his shitty album from selling, Rihanna did an interview with Rolling Stone where she speaks in depth on Chris Brown, crying, and rough sex.

Her feelings on Chris Brown:

“We don’t have to talk ever again in my life,” she says. “I just didn’t want to make it more difficult for him professionally. What he did was a personal thing – it had nothing to do with his career. Saying he has to be a hundred feet away from me, he can’t perform at awards shows – that definitely made it difficult for him.”..”That’s my decision,” she says. “It doesn’t mean we’re gonna make up, or even talk again. It just means I didn’t want to object to the judge.”

On how she coped after getting beat like a runaway slave:

“I put my guard up so hard,” she says. “I didn’t want people to see me cry. I didn’t want people to feel bad for me. It was a very vulnerable time in my life, and I refused to let that be the image. I wanted them to see me as, ‘I’m fine, I’m tough.’ I put that up until it felt real.”

Her thoughts on rough sex or the excuse Chris Brown fans will need to justify supporting a woman beater:

“Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun,” she says. “You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge of your shit. That’s fun to me…I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned – you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs. I’d rather have him use his hands.”

Well, it seems like she hasn’t forgiven him, but at the same time is making an effort to get on with her life. Music, movies, and who knows what else. Probably tarot cards. Because every time I hear Rihanna, I fully expect her to say, “DA CARDS DON’T LIE! CALL ME NOW FER YA FREE READIN’!” You know, or something like that.

While Chris Brown is busy pretending she never existed and was just a fabrication of the biased media to keep his shitty album from selling, Rihanna did an interview with…

Adrianne Palicki was in Los Angeles yesterday filming scenes for Wonder Woman, and from what I can tell from these pictures, she looks pretty pissed. I’m not sure if it’s because her costume looks like she got it on the clearance rack the day after Halloween or because Los Angeles is out of Midol. Not to sound sexist, but c’mon man. It’s a woman superhero. What’s her special power, being rational in an argument? Not thinking of a million different scenarios about what I’m doing if I don’t text her back in five minutes? I really don’t know if these pictures show her on the way to fight crime or a crowd at a shoe sale.

Day two of legendary MILF (she has a 19-yr old son…) Sofia Vergara‘s shoot for a Pepsi commercial was yesterday, and when it finally comes out, I’ll probably never drink a Coke again. Because if you’ve ever seen a manhole cover explode into the air from enormous unseen pressure or watched a show on National Geographic about an erupting volcano that covers everything in it’s path with it’s hot, destructive power, then you’ve pretty much seen me jack off to Sofia Vergara.

Day two of legendary MILF (she has a 19-yr old son…) Sofia Vergara‘s shoot for a Pepsi commercial was yesterday, and when it finally comes out, I’ll probably never drink…

If this book isn’t illustrated with MS Paint and semen, then I’m not really sure what the point of any of this. Oh, it’s called “The Boy With The Pink Hair”. Perez says in USA Today

“This story is about every kid that’s ever had a dream, felt excluded, wanted to belong, and hoped that one day they could do what they loved and make a difference,” says Hilton in a release.

In Penguin’s press release they given us deeper insight into this gay shit. LA Times reports:

“The Boy With Pink Hair” is the story of a child born with a shock of fabulous hair that sets him apart from his peers. While some find this difference hard to accept or understand, “The Boy With Pink Hair” uses the opportunity to find what makes him special and share it with the world. The children’s book is illustrated with vibrant retro-feeling art by first-time illustrator Jen Hill, putting into pictures the fun that comes with embracing individuality

“The Boy With Pink Hair”, a tale of acceptance and rainbow dreams, is basically a subversive tactic designed as a children’s book that should just be called “The Boy With Pink Hair Who Likes To Experiment With Things Up His Ass And Your Child Should, Too Because It’s Fabulous”. Of course, lost in all this is the fact that, since 2004, Perez has been one of the most vicious and evil bullies ever to exist on the Internet. Who justified it to himself and the media by saying he was doing it for the good of the gay community. Then a few gay kids killed themselves, then all of a sudden bullying was wrong and should be outlawed. Whatever. The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation and The Advocate hate him, so if you really think he’s doing to for the betterment of the world, you’re a fucking idiot. Sorry. I don’t know how else to say it. But at least Britney has a new concert coming up. That should make you feel better.

If this book isn’t illustrated with MS Paint and semen, then I’m not really sure what the point of any of this. Oh, it’s called “The Boy With The Pink…

Brooklyn Decker is still in Miami and she was thoughtful enough to pack more than one bikini. But if the mom haircut wasn’t enough the first time, who is this damn kid? C’mon, Brooklyn. You know this site is no place for kids.

Brooklyn Decker is still in Miami and she was thoughtful enough to pack more than one bikini. But if the mom haircut wasn’t enough the first time, who is this…

Tom Cruise attended the premiere of The Kennedys with his wife Katie Holmes. Although it’s hard to tell in the banner picture. Mostly because Tom Cruise isn’t wearing stilts or one of those jet packs that you see flying over car dealerships when there’s balloons and guy in a gorilla suit holding a sign that says they’ll take your trade no matter how much you owe.

Tom Cruise attended the premiere of The Kennedys with his wife Katie Holmes. Although it’s hard to tell in the banner picture. Mostly because Tom Cruise isn’t wearing stilts or…