The Aircrew Dictionary (of unacceptable cliche and overused phrases)

About

How The Dictionary Came To Be

…It all started in the summer of 2001, when I first met a young course mate at Linton-on-Ouse, whose name will remain anonymous. For the purposes of this introduction I shall call him Persil MacKenzie.

Persil lived and breathed the Air Force, to the extent that any sentence he uttered had to contain at least one phrase which he had learned since joining it, two months previously. His use of this phraseology spiralled beyond all control, affecting others in his orbit. Things came to a head when one day I telephoned him while he was a passenger in his lady-friend’s car. He was returning to the base, and was likely to be late arriving, and I impressed on the pair of them the importance of a timely arrival. At this point I was horrified to hear his girlfriend shriek the phrase “We’re already at VNE!”

As you can sympathise, dear reader, I was disgusted, and vowed to take action against this oral infection. The first draft of the Ban-a-Saurus took shape, in the form of a penalty system (which I can heartily recommend), whereby any utterance of one of the phrases therein contained incurred a fine, in a similar manner to a “Pigz Board.” The proceeds of this were donated to the course drinks fund, and needless to say, Persil was always out of pocket.

Since then, through the subsequent courses, bases, and offenders far more afflicted than Persil, the list has evolved to the form which we present now.

Aircrew Sign Language

It’s not just spoken language that is used be people like this; hand gestures too have become common as you can see from the Aircrew Sign Language Guide. Usually a phrase accompanies each sign but the signs can be used on their own as a sort of underground silent language all of their own.

The Aircrew Map of the UK

The dictionary also includes a map detailing the landmarks by which any aircrew officer navigates the skies of Great Britain. These landmarks have come about from the early days of flying training when students are not permitted to use sophisticated navigation equipment but must visually navigate around the UK. The landmarks shown on the map form the, many instantly recognisable points of navigation that have often saved an aircrew student from being lost or straying into some prohibited area.

WARNING: This site contains strong language which some readers may find offensive