UPDATE MAJOR

Monday, June 24, 2013

For those who have been with me since the start you'll remember when I got into my relationship . I was really happy and I even took a picture of my outfit on date night .

It became official and as of June 23 ,2014 it came to a end. 19 months of my life is gone and i cant get back . I can change my future and continue to focus on my life/health.

Before I got into this relationship I had made changes for the better , working out on lunch breaks ,before work ,after work on my days off . meal prep . Logging into Spark..

Things changed and as I looked back most was not for the better.

I learned a lot about my self and I am sure over time as I reflect more about my relationship and self I will see more things clearly .

What I do know now is that you must never change for somebody else , if you make any changes you must do it for you . Better your self for your own happiness.
To find somebody who accepts you for you , and all your little weird habits . Having somebody pick on your every move , is a warning sign and RUN ,dont look back .

Ive had my self worth torn down and shredded to pieces and I need to rebuild my self from the inside out .

I do plan on going to CNA school for my self , its something that will benefit me and I do miss working with the elderly because they have so much knowledge.

I lost a lot of time and money that was invested in this relationship and though some may say why didnt you collect all the things you bought .. I didnt want to get arrested . I had so much anger in me I really didnt trust my self.
Material things can be replaced , my freedom is priceless and more importantly he can keep all the things I ever bought . He can have fun cleaning out all the things I got him because IT IS A LOT !

I bought so many things its crazy like I dont have a computer but i got him one ! Currently using my neighbors computer to write this but trust me when I say I will get one ! Next month I am going to get my laptop, been saving and its time .

I am heart broken , 19 months is a long time .. for me anyways , a lot of emotions... memories..
This morning was hard to get out of bed , I had to force my self . Bless Instagram for the motivation to get out , If you have it add me xsencix96789

also i really wanted a 6 packbag but the backorder was insane so i orded a iso bag which is just the same thing . it should be here tomorrow .
so meal prep will be going on , workouts as well .

more blogs to come , back on track .

also if youre in hawaii i am wanting to do the Run or Dye run in Nov and also the Great Aloha Run in 2014 .
If anybody is planning on doing this let me join you lol or if you arnt planning on doing this , LETS DO IT !

My goal was always to do a 5k , like I have yet to fill that .. I want too.

there are so many things I have waned to do that being in my relationship held me back because of the lack of support and motivation.. oh ! yeah dont be with somebody who isnt motivated to do anything after work , like we all have our moments but when it affects your health , RUN AWAY.

My next relationship , I want my other half to take their health seriously , motivate me , let me motivate him , help each other ... is that too much to ask for ? !

anyways hello to all and i miss you and I am glad to be making a come back and this time I will succeed because I can and I REFUSE TO LET ANYBODY STOP ME

Being in a relationship where you have each other's back is NOT too much to ask. You will feel better over time, although right now it may not seem like such a happy time every moment of the day. You are strong, as you mention, and you will get stronger and wiser having been through this challenging relationship.

It is sad to hear that he kept things like the computer, etc, that you gave him. That right there says a lot about his character. But you are so wise - it is all just material things!! Wise to let it go and come out whole and walk away with your self worth intact.

XSENCIX,That's a hard lesson to learn but be grateful that you've had the chance to walk away. your post shows how much you have learned. Value yourself and don't accept a partner who can't allow you to shine. A great partner is hard to come by but is so worth it. Together you will help each other scale the peaks of your goals.