(Closed) I didn’t think it was that bad

I know, I know, we should leave closed threads in the past (where they most probably belong). But I didn’t think that posters thread about waiting warranted it being closed. In fact, the only personal attack came from the OP.

I realize that she is new and was probably just startled by the truth of many of the responses she got, but I don’t think it needed to be closed.

I don’t like when people give a selection of facts (which one would guess are the facts they think most important, otherwise, why post those facts?), people take the time and effort to respond and responses are ignored or dismissed because “you don’t know me”.

Sometimes being supportive isn’t just telling people what they want to hear.

i think it was incredibly lame. she clearly did not want advice or insight but rather only to be told how right she is. disagreeing and offering perspective can be lending support just as much as reinforcing ones feeling.

at least it mayhap saved others the time of trying to offer aforementioned advice or insight.

I suppose when a thread is a personal vent and it’s not going the way the OP wants it to, it loses its “usefulness” to the OP and quickly turns into a battle ground.

I think the problem is that some posters feel vent posts should be granted immunity from any judgment and should be “rainbows and unicorns” only, while others feel it doesn’t do anyone any good to reinforce unhealthy/counterproductive thoughts and behaviors. Obviously, I’m in the second camp.

I think reality checks are a good thing, and that you’re only hurting yourself by cultivating irrational negative feelings. I’m just speaking from my personal experience of becoming a much happier person since learning this.

Hello, OP here. Actually, I feel like the personal attack came when I was told that I was “needy” and “grasping at straws”. She made the original comment which lead to my removed post – it wasn’t something that I just came up with. I was confirming what she said.

That being said, yes, I was shocked by the way a lot of the posts came across – I’ll admit it. I came here seeking advice, and trying to find ways of dealing with the issues I’m feeling. If the community’s way of handling is is essentially telling me to “back off or leave” then I don’t see how this is constructive. Others are entitled to their opinions just as I am. But launching a personal attack on someone who is obviously having a difficult time seems counter-productive. I’m having a hard time dealing with the, “What’s wrong with me?” aspect and needed support – and constructive critiscism if it’s warranted. I found out at work today that a couple who have only been seeing eachother a YEAR AND A HALF are engaged. Right, wrong or indifferent, I ran into the bathroom and sobbed for 15 minutes. Her late husband hasn’t been gone 2 years and his ex wife cheated on him. And yet, they’re both adult enough to move on? I don’t know how to handle all of this external pressure, and am looking for advice on how to cope. Not people telling me I’m needy.

Should I back off? Yes. In fact, before I read the responses to the original thread, I send my SO a text telling him I was done agonizing over this – that I was not going to mention “engagement” or “marriage” again unless he brought it up. I’m through. It’s time to impliment Mr. Bee’s three step plan…

I’m with @yearns4god:, I’m lost as to which post y’all are talking about. And I’m always on the waiting boards. I don’t wish to start anything back up, since it was apparently a controversial subject for some, just being politely nosey