LW3 I just wanted to add one thing. It sounds like you are stressing out a lot about the burden your mom's homophobia puts on your wonderful partner. As a disliked daughter-in-law (not for homophobic, just weird jealousy reasons) I can tell you - relax. Yes, it is unpleasant to be disliked for stupid reasons that have nothing to do with oneself. BUT, if you are a loving partner (and it really sounds like it!) that is a small price to pay. Don't beat yourself up. I bet your lovergurl would hate it if she knew you were doing that. Just cope as best you can and remember it's much much harder for you than it is for her.