I never thought in a million years that I would be quoting The Pussycat Dolls. I’d like to think Twain, Socrates or maybe even …well you get the picture. However, for this particular piece those digitally enhanced vocal vixens have the quote that best describes what I’m trying to communicate. “Be Careful What you Wish for Because You Just Might Get It.” There, I wroteit down, documented in cyber-space for all to see. So what’s the point? I’ll get to that later.

Now, I know we’ve all read hundreds of articles on the problem with teen self-esteem. and being the Mother of a 12 and a half year old eighth grader living in a somewhat privileged enviroment, I’m starting to understand the consequences of the pubescent version of “keeping up with the Jones’s”. In my daughter’s world, it isn’t “you are what you eat” it’s “you are what you wear”.I assumed I did a relatively good job over the years pontificating ( OK preaching) on the importance of striving for excellence and at the same time growing spiritually. I have been known to use the anecdote of no matter how beautifully wrapped a package may appear, it has no significance if the box it’s wrapped in is empty. That little tale works wonders… when your child is 8 years old. Unfortunately, when the extraneous enviroment of media (and well-intentioned mothers ) comes flooding into your home like Hurricane Ike, those lessons fall on designer – laden deaf ears .

Here is where the quagmire comes in. Although I was more than loquacious spewing the “wrapped box” philosophy, I also was ostensibly sending messages to my daughter about appearances. For most of her youth, she was a gleeful “tomboy.” There were days she’d come bounding down the staircase in outfits that can only be descibed as the “I dressed in the dark” look. She had that child abandonment of making her own personal statement, and even if her hair was awry and her glasses perched precariously on the tip of her nose, it was distinctly her own style. Unfortunately, at those times my “it’s whats inside that counts” speech got thrown out quicker than the faux mink pink ear muff gift from my great Aunt Va. Statements coming from my opinionated mouth like, “You know, you really only need to wear those glasses in class” or the ubiquitous declaration from Mothers , “You’re really not going to wear that, are you?”.

Needless to say, all of these elements combined worked wonders. A soft whisper into my daughters subconscious, based largely on my own past struggles with youths’ insecurities helped turn my child into (dare I say it) a mall rat. I started to observe her behavior on mall trips. I watched her eyes dart with unabashed excitement at what designer shop would be around the next mall bend.

I, along with the constant barrage of the size 4 Giselles helped to create my own little fashion monster. Hollister, Abercrombie etc. have become a big part of my little girl’s world. Now when she comes “cascading” down the stairs with every hair in place, glasses tucked away and outfits that scream, “I FIT IN!”. I long for those disheveled years of the past when garage sale shopping was a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Additionally, I wasn’t forced to listen to the cacaphony of mall music or tiptoe around cement ponds on tile floors while observing the blank stares of mall personnel that have a difficult time keeping a sparkling smile for a couple of bucks above minimum wage.

For those Moms who taught their children that the reflection in that mall mirror is but a piece of glass, easily shattered like so many children who’s self esteem is based on the opinions of others, I salute you for sticking to your guns.

My hope is those lessons taught in my daughter’s earlier years will, in time, be remembered and she’ll come home to them. In the mean time, “be careful what you wish for……”.

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moved to Pittsford as a teenager and attended Pittsford-Mendon High School. Her greatest passion is as a lover of and advocate for the arts and music. Donna attended Rhode Island School of Design and earned an MFA from R.I.T. She’s a free-lance art director, advertising photographer and copywriter. Her love of narrative and film has led her to direct and produce short films.

Donna developed her awareness of and concern for environmental issues after being
exposed to the chemicals in artist materials in art schools in the US and Canada which
made her ill for a time. Healthy today, she finds pleasure in nature, writing, and music.
She enjoys Pittsford for its picturesque locations, wildlife, and community involvement.

was born in Rochester, lived here for a while until his dad was transferred to Connecticut ("Thanks, Xerox."). Then a few years later they came back to Fairport ("Thanks again, Xerox."), but Bill went to Pittsford schools. He moved over to Pittsford in 1979. He worked a bunch of jobs, played in bands, went back to MCC and then U of R for a Bachelor's degree in the early 90's. Shortly after that, he moved to NYC with his wife, Laura, where he worked at Ogilvy & Mather and Christie's doing tech support. They moved out to Northern Virginia during the Internet boom, hoping to get rich quick, but missed that boat. They moved back to Pittsford in 2001, along with two boys. Bill still plays guitar with the Chinchillas, the Squeaky Chair Jazz band, and the Steve Greene Trio occasionally.

"Though all communities and areas get a certain reputation (deserved or not), there is a good quality of life here, and the bulk of the people I have met here and places I have been to reflect that," Bill says. "My reason for wanting to blog about the town is at least twofold -- to vent my views and continue with writing, but also to force myself to engage in the environment in which I live. Too many people complain there is nothing to do or see, but they never actually get out and look. I don't want to be like that."