Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

You're not going to find a lot to back that up here. Most of the victims who have suffered domestic violence and abuse on this site will tell you that abusers do not change. You're not going to find a list of signs that you're abuser is changing, because most of the time, they won't.

It's not absolutely impossible, but happens really seldom that an abuser will fundamentally change.

I would say the best two indicators are:

Do you feel respected ---- and ----
Has the change you've seen stayed consistent
or keep improving for the better OVER A PERIOD OF TIME.

Lots of abusers will say they'll make a change, and maybe even actually change something. It they can actually maintain the change for a month, that's an encouraging start. It they can maintain the change for six months, that holds some promise. It they're still doing really, fundamentally better after a year, they'll start to regain my trust.

I haven't been on in a while. I got a message from Doug and decided to check in. I too am looking for signs. I questions everything. How do you know the right choice? I'm still holding on to faith and seeing an abuse counselor &amp; therapist. I found this on facebook as bumper sticker &amp; read it several times everyday. Some day I will believe it with all I've got. I'm almost there I think. I'll pass it along.
I've made mistakes in my life.
I've let people take advantage of me
and I accepted way less than I deserve.
But I've learned from my bad choices and
even though there are some things I can never
get back and people who will never be sorry,
I'll know better next time and
I won't settle for anything less than I deserve.
My abuse counselor always reminds to listen to my head not just my heart. I've learned alot in the past year and wish you the very best.

Your best bet for such a list would be in one of Patricia Evans books. There is one on change in the Verbally Abusive man, so if there is such a list, I'm guessing that is where it is. Aside from that, the only other &quot;list&quot; is what an abuser has to do in order to change, and I know that list is in Ms. Evan's books as well as on www.youarenotcrazy.com

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