Your day is about to get better: the Washington Capitals released their holiday video and it’s a doozy. Featuring Alex Ovechkin wearing a pink bunny costume, Michael Latta getting his tongue stuck to a pole, Rod Langway as Santa, and Alex Ovechkin in a pink bunny costume, this video is an instant classic.

The video is an homage to 1983’s A Christmas Story. We’ve got Ralphie’s pink bunny suit, Ralphie’s dad’s “major award” fishnet leg lamp, a grumpy Santa and more. Last season’s video, a cheerful music & dance number, was great, but this is even better.

Video

Screenshots!

We have Nate Schmidt as Ralphie, making for some of the greatest facial expressions ever.

We issued a challenge, oh faithful users of the Russian Machine, to create Caps-themed Christmas cards. The only rule: use an inferior graphics program or blingee.com to make it.

What we avoided telling you — just like my parents who took 14 years to come clean to me about the whole Santa thing (he IS real) — was that we didn’t have to follow the same rules. Above, is our holiday card by RMNB’s house illustrator, Rachel Cohen.

Meanwhile, you guys rocked this assignment harder than a Dmitry Orlov hip check. Though, to be honest, some of these submissions might land you on Santa’s naughty list once I post this. I apologize beforehand. Cruise on past the jump to check out the gallery and see what I mean.

Stephanie Carosa’s (@carrotbazooka on Twitter) card tells that the Caps’ Swedes celebrate Christmas too. In a weird, Charles Schultz-y way. And with an easy-to-build tree from IKEA designed by European artist SINTERKLAAS.

Brendan Sheridan (@MD_DC on Twitter) shows us who’s really running things in DC. Click on it to take a closer look. The players look SO conniving!

The @KnublesKnights Xmas “card” is a crystal-clear sign of mental illness.

Beyond this card being cute and well done, I also must applaud Kathryn Tighe for making Karl Alzner the Santa here. While he’s neither the captain or a leading scorer, he can grow the best beard. It just makes sense for him to be Saint Nick. Also, while we’re talking about it, please like our Facebook fan page dedicated to Alzner’s beard.

Michele Hopper shows off her entire family of Caps fans. I want to high-five you all.

Shockingly, HolidayBlues.tumblr.com was the only person to send us a JibJab video this year. Though this one is particularly funny with Ovi’s face the way it is. Check it out to see what I mean!

Via Molly Yanchulis, we have Ovechkin in the manger scene! I can only imagine, his first words to baby Jesus were “ahaha best))))))”

After fat-gate over the summer (and really, in hindsight, how freaking stupid was that?), Miranda Kerr jokingly believes that Ovi would rather have the McDonalds’ buffet than lead the NHL in goals.

Who needs Robin when you can have Brooks Laich? Nice job, Richard Skelton!

This may not be Caps or Christmas related, but Don Cherry’s piano desk cracks me up. Thanks for sending it over, @skylarmoonbeam!

All Kellie S. wants for Christmas is Braden Holtby to be the starting goaltender.

Finally, my personal gift to you guys, which I’ve re-gifted from Jack Anderson: The 12 Days of Jeanneret. For those of you who don’t know, Rick Jeanneret is the play-by-play guy for the Sabres. Beyond Joe B and Mike Emrick, there’s no better announcer in the NHL. A few years ago, XM Radio posted this song to celebrate some of his more brilliant and uh… eccentric calls during his career. RIGHT WHERE MOMMA HIDES THE COOKIES. With the Capitals playing Buffalo on Monday, it seemed apropos. Enjoy!

One more? Okay! Why not? Let’s close with one last card from our uber-talented illustrator Rachel Cohen.

Welp, Merry Christmas, you guys! Let us know which cards you like most in the comments below. And have a safe and wonderful holiday.

During any holiday, we must solicit artwork from our readers because a) you guys do more creative stuff than we can, and b) we are desperate for non-Kuznetsov content.

So with eight-pound, six-ounce baby Jesus’s birthday only six days away, we need your Capitals-themed Christmas cards and quick! We prefer that you create your cards using a primitive graphics program like MS Paint, Adobe Photoshop 3.0, or gluing macaroni on construction paper. We want cards for all religions. After all, Jeff Halpern and the Puck Buddys are Jewish, and Jason Chimera (11 G, 6 A) obviously has a deal with the devil.

Mail your submission to thecrew@russianmachineneverbreaks.com by 5pm on Friday. We’d prefer if they’re jpegs. And for those of you who are too scared to submit, take solace in the fact that we’ll pretty much post anything. Weird youtubes of your kids dancing, pictures of an Ovechtree. Ornaments. Seriously, anything. Well, as long as it’s not super crude.

Get crackin’. We can’t wait to see what you guys come up with this year!