Kim Kardashian’s Sex Tape Sales Increased 80% Because She’s Pregnant

“Well, now that I know Kanye West really is stupid enough to be on the hook to Kim Kardashian for the next 18 years, might as well see how he did it but in spectacular Ray J’s Penis-vision!” said a whole bunch of people, according to TMZ:

Vivid says video-on-demand purchases of the sex tape have spiked 80% since Sunday night … the fattest increase they’ve seen since Kim’s wedding to Kris Humphries.
Further, Kanye’s been boosting biz for months now. We’re told overall sales of Kim’s sex tape — be it VOD, online, or DVD — have steadily increased every month since he and Kim hooked up last Spring.

Of course, a more likely scenario considering the golden shower was cut out (Please tell me that’s how women get pregnant, or I’m going to look really stupid.) is that Kanye is stocking up to hand these out as wedding favors because what better way to commemorate how they ended up together in the first place? I can almost see the inscription now:

THIS GOT MY DICK ALL HARD AND SHIT BANGIN OTHER WOMEN!!!!
TIL ONE DAY I THOUGHT, WHAT IF I BANGED DAT ASS FOR REAL!??!!?!