What Women Want – Assertive mixed with Cool

Yes, that’s right – I’m going to tell you exactly what personality traits women like myself find attractive, irresistible, and sexy. I have a panel of trusted sources – my girlfriends, whom I asked and we all agreed on the following:

It’s a combo – the perfect mix of being Assertive and Cool. Let me explain a little further.

To be ASSERTIVE means that a guy is Confident, Assured, Bold, Decisive… a Man. Women look for those traits in guys and are turned off when a man doesn’t have these qualities. We need a guy to know what he wants and not be afraid to go after it. To be assertive means that you’re not afraid to approach a woman to say hi, ask her out, plan a date, lead the relationship.

Because I’ve been meeting so many men and also going on so many dates, I see this quality quite a bit but also see how a lot of men can improve in this a little. Some are not assertive enough and some overstep the assertive and come off too forceful.

Not Assertive Enough:

Seeing a pretty woman and smiling but not coming up to her.

Coming up to the girl but not asking her out.

Making small talk via email or text when what you want is to date her

Saying things like “We should grab a drink sometime” instead of “Can I take you out for a drink tomorrow night? How’s 7?”

Too Much:

Approaching a girl and asking for her number immediately.

Telling a girl to cancel her plans for Saturday because she’s going on a date with you.

Saying that the girl has two days to choose from for a date instead of asking.

Pretty much anything that comes off too strong – Telling her what to do instead of Asking. When the woman doesn’t feel like she has a choice, it’s actually a turn-off for us. It works on some women, yes, but it’s disrespectful to most and I’d stay away from going there.

The 2nd Part is Being COOL. A guy who’s “Cool” is Easy-going, Relaxed, Fun, and there’s no pressure that is put on the woman. A guy who’s Cool is comfortable with his own personality, sense of humor, and is laid back in a calming way. It’s the vibe of that quality that’s most attractive because the Cool guy isn’t worried about what people think of him. He’s secure with himself and what he likes, doesn’t like, and is just enjoying himself and his environment. He’s not needing validation from a woman and isn’t going to be broken if things don’t go how he’d like them to.

I don’t have many examples of what’s cool vs what’s not – but I’m pretty sure you get the picture. Just be Cool dudes! Relax, remove any expectations, and just enjoy yourself and her.

marina

About Marina Lavochin

Why I’m obsessed with James Bond…

Growing up in Russia and in a religious family I had very limited access to tv or movies. My dad loved the James Bond movies and a few other series like Crocodile Dundee and Harrison Ford. James Bond was my favorite.

He’s always in control, very simple classic attire, doesn’t say much but speaks with purpose, and has a mission that no woman can get in the way of.