I was night sorting bread orders in a small warehouse building years ago.I had been eating tuna sandwiches all week.And my gut just blew up like a balloon,and I could not stop farting for hours on end.

When the drivers turned up at 3 AM to load their lorries the smell of rotting fish almost melted their faces.The three guys who had to work through that next to me never said a word.

Reminds me of when I was on the plane back from Florida. Someone somewhere was doing farts that I was convinced was going to get the plane diverted to an emergency landing they were that bad. I spent a while pondering if they were farts or something very wrong with the enviromental systems. And no-one said a fucking thing until we were filing off the plane and I could hear people saying "Someone kept dropping their guts".

Worst of all was my wife turning to me and saying "I thought it was you". Oh well thank you very much!

I recently farted in a customers house. Not realising they were in the same room as me. Awkward.

I don't know what horrified them more. The fact I would fart loudly in there presence or the fact that when I did fart (not knowing they were there) I laughed to myself and said 'Whammy' a la Champ Kind from Anchorman

talking about large guffs (and becuase i cant be bothered to look for a weather thread)

Friday 25th October 2013

AMBER EARLY WARNING of WIND for southern England and southern Wales

A very intense low pressure system is forecast to run northeastwards across the country early on Monday, bringing the potential for an exceptionally windy spell of weather for southern parts of the UK. At the same time, persistent, heavy rain could cause some surface water flooding.

There is the potential for gusts of 60-80 mph quite widely and locally over 80 mph, especially on exposed coasts.

There is some continuing uncertainty in the timing, intensity and track of the low. However, the public should be prepared for the risk of falling trees as well as damage to buildings and other structures, bringing disruption to transport and power supplies.