So… you down for some role play?
Yeah, that sounds fun. What’s the scene?
What about like, a booty call? You in?
Yeah, call me.
Ring Ring!
Mmmm, hello?
Hey girl, did I wake you up?
Ugh, yeah… sorry. I feel like shit.
Aw, you party a little too hard last night.
Yeah. WAY too hard.
Well, why don’t you come over and take it easy. Maybe a little hair of the dog.
Sure, I just need to find my pants.
Oh, you’re not wearin’ any pants are you?
No, I think they’re somewhere in this field, but I can’t see them, and I’m still pretty dizzy.
What field?
Oh, the field I woke up in.
Woke up in a field? What the fuck are you doing?
DON’T FUCK IT UP. I’m into this.
Fine. What are you doing in the field?
Well, I don’t really remember. I did a bunch of Mushrooms last night, and then I got hungry.
So you slept in a field?
Well, no, I think I got roofied.
Who the fuck roofied you?
Me. When I got hungry, I ate my Roofie Roulette muffins. I think I lost. It’s pretty fuzzy.
Wait, if you’re pantsless in a field, why do you have your phone?
IT WAS IN MY FUCKING PURSE.
Fine. Get your pants, and let’s get going.
Oh, I found them, but there’s shit on them.
Man, you’re telling me you took shrooms, roofied yourself, then shit your pants?
I didn’t shit my pants. The shit is on them, not in them.
Besides, I’m pretty sure it’s not my shit.
There’s a bunch of pennies in it.
This is stupid.
Oh, some of the pennies are Canadian!
Maybe I’m in Blaine, or Point Roberts!
Those are both towns near the Canadian border that-
I FUCKING KNOW WHAT THEY ARE!