Monthly Archives: February 2014

If there is one thing that doesn’t surprise me it is that Russia is invading Ukraine.

For those that don’t know although I love Russian history, I don’t like Russia and until Russian politics changes, I won’t like them. I have a lot of reasons to not like them. Two of them have to deal with my ancestry. I am of Ukrainian and Slovakian descent. My ancestors came over here, for the main reason that they wanted a better life. However because they never really talked about their previous life in the “Old World” for it was to painful and they were trying to move on, I know very little I am sad to say.

What we do know about Ukraine is that they left ancestors behind and that they lived in western Ukraine.

If we look at the history between Russia and Ukraine we know they have had a long one and it is like a bad relationship that just keeps happening over and over again. A part of history that sticks out to me the most that still gets my blood boiling that connects the two is Holdomor. For those that don’t know Holdomor means “extermination by hunger.” A man made famine created by the USSR when they came in demanded the food, crops, livestock that the people of Ukraine worked for; Collectivization is the term here. They had to meet a quota, if they didn’t they had their livestock taken and when that was gone, their possessions, and sometimes their lives.

And where did the food go? It didn’t feed the people of Ukraine. It feed the people of the USSR. That is how the USSR was able to survive during the time, it was living off the breadbasket of Europe and was a parasite. Ukraine suffered for the benefit of the USSR.

Of course there were a couple of things that were happening at the time before this began, one of the main things was that there was a sense of Ukrainian patriotism that began to rise in Ukraine. There was a call to using the Ukrainian language, teaching it in schools and trying to get away from the USSR. Of course, Stalin didn’t like this. So with his troops he went into Ukraine before he could lose control of them. This was the result.

Since so many people died during this time whether through hunger, killing themselves, fighting for their lives, etc. It is hard to get a count on the death toll, but it is said that the population of Ukraine was reduced as much as 25%. A quarter of Ukrainians had been killed by the USSR. Whether it was direct or indirect, I still hold them responsible.

“From 1931 to 1934 we had great harvests. The weather conditions were great. However, all the grain was taken from us. People searched the fields for mice burrows hoping to find measly amounts of grain stored by mice…”

You want to know what people did to try to live? When they began to go crazy from starvation, they resorted to cannibalism. Yes, you read that right, cannibalism. Sometimes people would kill their family members, children, brother,sister, etc. and than eat them. They would sometime result in killing themselves from the guilt of eating them.

I will let you do your own research into The Great Famine. The purpose of this article is not to convince you to not like Russia. I’m letting you know why I don’t like them. I actually encourage you to look into Holdomor, you may find your world view expanding.

I don’t like their politics. I don’t like how they treat their people. I don’t like the fact that the people of Russia are still suffering under a socialist government (I don’t care if they have “an election” it is still socialist. I don’t like how they have treated their neighbors. I don’t like the fact they remind of bullies. I don’t like how they treated Ukraine, Slovakia, Poland, etc. I don’t like it. And I don’t like the Russian Government.

With mentioning that part of history it is no surprise that with the fleeing of Viktor Yanukovych to Russia, Russia has decided that now that there little pet is safe and sound they will begin to invade Ukraine, probably from eastern Ukraine, which supports Russia. I can see

Also, in the Crimea area, it is heavily Russia nationalist. More people speak Russian in that area in comparison to the rest of Ukraine. This doesn’t surprise me because geographically speaking they are closer to Russia and historically speaking they probably are closer to the Ukrainians. Even looking at the two maps below, you can see how divided the country is.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the country divides into two in the future.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the people of Ukraine that lean on the side of Russia are called on to support Russia. Creating a Civil War of sorts. Kind of like when the British called on the Loyalists to help them out during the American Revolution.

People on CNN have mentioned that “The Cold War is going on.”

I would have to disagree. Around the internet conspiracy theorists are going crazy over this and many believe that we could be seeing the beginning of World War 3. Part of me doesn’t want to count that out, only because this conflict is so big. And frankly they are the only one having conflicts right now.

While I don’t agree that Ukrainians should join the European Union, for it is also corrupt and financially failing. I personally believe they should try to be independent myself. However this topic is far more difficult that could be discussed in one blog post.

I stand with the people of Ukraine, I stand with them, and I pray that Russia will not win.

I recently went to the doctors where once again I was recommended to get a flu shot. And once again I said no. Every year I am asked if I want one. Ever year I say no and I am strongly recommended to get the flu vaccine. I still say no.

I am not against vaccinations in general. They help prevent disease like polio, smallpox,etc. from infecting individuals. However when it comes to the flu, it really is impossible to protect oneself from it completely. After all there are numerous strains that cause the flu virus and those strains tend to evolve.

Also you may be protected from a certain number of strains of the virus, but what if soon after you are exposed to another strain of the flu virus. While your body is building up antibodies to the “dead” virus another virus with a different strain that is active could come along in the meantime causing you to be ill. The flu vaccine itself doesn’t make you sick, but being exposed to another strain that was not included in the shot soon after can cause one to become sick.

No thanks. Personally I don’t want to take a chance.

Also my parents and I had practiced this same concept and idea when it comes to taking antibiotics. Yes, I know they are different however my parents and I for years did not believe in going to the doctor every time I got a cold. Well know we have superbugs! They resulted from everyone overusing antibiotics, whether it is doctors giving them like candy on Halloween or they are being feed to animals which go into our food which go into our bodies.

While people may think that I am completely against vaccinations (which I’m not) and think that my parents are backward in their thinking (my father and two uncles work in the medical field), that isn’t the case. Bacteria adapts and viruses evolve.

I rather my body fight it on its own terms, no constantly be put at risk every time I get the flu vaccine.

I guess it all started when I was 11 years old and I moved from Rhode Island to Tennessee. The move had a really big impact on me. It was a culture shock to say the least with the strange accents and how everyone was so friendly. It was weird.

I had tried to communicate with a friend from up north. I kept calling her and emailing her. She only replied back once. Once. She forgotten all about me. She stopped caring I guess. Not the first time I had been ignored/forgotten, but the first time I felt the impact really hard.

Soon I went to a new school tried to make some friends there, but then they started to ignore me. They wouldn’t talk to me. They wouldn’t tell me what I did wrong. People began making fun of me, people isolated me, talked behind my back, and did all the other really hurtful things that middle schoolers like to do to people.

Thanks guys, its not like I just dealt with so many other issues during that year (I will have a post coming up about it).

Eventually I was forced (literally forced by the Principal; again a post for another day) to leave the school. This all happened in a year with me moving to Tennessee. Welcome to the south! And did I mention this was a Catholic school?

After this I became indifferent to the idea of making friends, friendship,etc. Deep down I still wanted one, but I tried really hard to not go out of my way, to not be friendly. I just didn’t want to care anymore. That lasted for about a couple years.

I start high school and I make friends. It was harder than to keep up my indifference to friendship. Although because I had been out of practice for a few years the whole idea of calling someone to hang out was foreign. Let alone someone calling me. While I made some good friends, lets just say we didn’t have a lot in common and we had different ideas of friendship. I just wanted to have some people to hang out with so I didn’t feel so alone. Sounds pathetic, but it is the truth.

From all the experiences throughout middle school and high school I learned this about friendships. You take turns in calling and contacting someone. If you kept calling them and they didn’t try to engage in conversation back (whether through text, phone calls, emails, facebook,etc.) they didn’t want to be your friend. I learned that the hard way after being told multiple times by people that basically, “Why don’t you get the hint, I didn’t want to call you because I didn’t want to talk to you and I don’t want to be friends with you. You aren’t important enough to me.”

As a result when people don’t call me, text me, or try to get in contact with me in any way. I assume that I am not important enough to remember. I am an afterthought and just someone to be tolerated until they get tired of doing that and they tell me off.

You can see how hard it has to make friends over the years because of this. I would rather let other people engage with me first, that way I can make the decision. It may seem unfair to their perspective, but many people don’t go out of their way to engage with me usually. So it is no big deal.

Trust me, I have read so many books, consulted many online articles, on how to overcome this feeling and emotion. I know it is silly and I know how ridiculous it sounds. In my mind though it is the truth. If people don’t include me in something, aren’t completely upfront with me, and don’t try to contact me- I think they don’t want me around. In my mind I believe they have grown tired of me, they are sick of me, or they have an issue with me.

It is really hard. I am almost 24 and I still feel this way. I still feel sad, hurt, and confused. I try to be a good friend. I try my very best. It always seem though people forget about me though. That I am an afterthought.

Valentine’s Day wasn’t a a huge ordeal this year. I was really excited for where Chris was going to take me, but honestly for most if the day I kept thinking of one thing, I needed to get his gift done.

I decided to make him for Valentine’s Day this year 52 reason why I love him. While I know I can’t narrow the reasons down to that number, I decided to try anyway. I won’t lie it was hard. It took me hours staring at the computer trying to figure out what words to say. Trying to describe why you love someone is hard, especially since there are so many reasons, and for me loving Christopher comes as easy and natural as breathing. Can be difficult at times when you are upset with each other, but it’s like exercise- those muscles are getting stronger and so is the relationship.

It took me I want to say about 4-5 hours to finish the whole thing. It took me a while. All the paper and gluing I had to do. I was very glad I had told Chris that I we should have dinner later at 10, because originally we were thinking about having dinner at 7:30 and I only finished his gift a little after 7:30.

Look at this lovely mess.

ALL DONE! Yah!

52 Reasons Why I Love You!

On the left is the box the deck of cards came from and on the right is the end result of this project. I don’t think the cards would have fit in there. I used a lot of paper.

After that I sped through getting ready. I was originally going to curl my hair, but I was too impatient and I decided to just try to give it volume instead. I called Chris to let him know I was on my way. I was very excited to see where he was going to take me. I don’t know why I was really excited for this Valentine’s Day, I knew we weren’t going to be doing a lot. I think it was because I was excited to just spend time with him and I wanted to see what he thought of his gift.

After I got my makeup on, which took less time than I suspected, I kept pacing back and forth. Bothered my roomate and hallmates until Chris texted me to let me know he was here. I was freaking out.

When he finally arrives I head down to meet him (guests are not allowed into the dorm unaccompanied) and I see him there and he is so surprised by what I was wearing, very different from what I usually wear, but I loved the outfit and I was rocking it. I got lots of compliments and stares that night.

When we arrived to dinner I was genuinely surprised to find out that we were eating at Copper Cellar! I was really excited I hadn’t eaten at this restaurant since I was 12! I loved the food and it felt so fancy! Now I was nervous because we were an our early, so I didn’t know what we were going to do. Well it turns out that a lot of people didn’t show up for their reservations (sometimes people book multiple restaurants ahead of time and than give their date more options as to where they want to go, but they never cancel the other bookings. We were able to as a result get in a hour early! I was very happy.

When it came time to giving gifts, I insisted Chris open his gift first. I couldn’t wait to see his reaction. He was confused and shocked at first. I explained to him what it was and he loved it. I was so happy that he loved his gift. I had also bought chocolate and a starter Theros deck ( he is into Magic the Gathering), but he said his favorite gift was the deck of cards I made for him.

Looking at the cards I made for him. 😀

Now when he handed me his gift I was nervous, he said that it wasn’t a ring so I shouldn’t worry (which I was very glad for I am not ready for that yet). Well, when I opened the book I was shocked. He gave me real emerald earrings. They were beautiful. I was speechless. He even laughed from how speechless I was. I’m honestly surprised I didn’t cry because it was an amazing gift and I was amazed that he bought it for me. I knew it must have cost a lot. Chris at one point said with my reaction everyone would have thought he proposed. Man, my reaction when he proposes, I will probably cry, freak out, and be dumbfounded all in one. Anyway.

I was genuinely shocked.

The Emerald Earrings

The rest of dinner was great I had , delicious wine, crab cakes mashed potatoes, and Cesar salad. I was stuffed. We just spent time together and it was wonderful. After dinner was over we drove around, did some shopping, and went home and cuddled while watching The Golden Age of Sinbad.

It was a wonderful Valentine’s Day. I believe this is on par with our first Valentine’s Day (part 2- I will explain the story in another post later). How was your Valentine’s Day? What has been your best Valentine’s Day? Let me know in the comments.

For as long as I could remember I hardly got sick. The most I dealt with at times was my allergies and colds. The first time I ever got a virus was my junior year in high school and I had never had the flu shot.

Than I went off to college. My first year I did fine, but my second year at UTC, well I was exposed to Black Mold for 4-5 months and I didn’t even know it. I don’t want to go into it right now, that is not the topic of this post. With being exposed to black mold I contracted bronchitis and tonsillitis (at the same time), got the flu several times throughout the whole school year, my immune system was weakened in general, I had vertigo issues, and my metabolism plummeted.

It doesn’t help that a year later once I moved back home I had a fall down the stairs. I lost my balance and as a result I injured both of my knees, resulting in tendinitis. My knees hurt to this day, therapy helped and I do the exercises and stretches, but life happens.

I haven’t been the same since.

Even though it has been over 4 years since I got sick and over 3 years since my fall, I am not where I would like to be. It is so frustrating because I didn’t have to worry about this before. I was in really good health before and now I have to constantly make sure I don’t get sick. My roommate has been sick and I have been helping her by giving her vitamins and medicine, I have also been worried the whole time will I get sick.

I am surprised I haven’t already.

I’m not even including my mental health in this, for that is a whole other story in itself.

I just wish that I was in better shape and in better health. I do exercise occasionally its just hard between work, classes, homework, and trying to keep up with this blog.

I guess I am just frustrated with myself and my body because I really wish it would go back to the way it was. I do take vitamins, I do some stretches and exercises. I eat a more healthy diet than I used to, I try to sleep more (with being a college student its hard), and I go to the doctors more often.

Only time will help and make it better. Still, it’s not fun while I am waiting.

When I woke up this morning and I checked the news on my phone I discovered that there are protests going on in Thailand. My first thought, ‘What country isn’t protesting right now?’ I also wonder which country will be next?

Ukraine’s protest seems to be near an end, but President Vikto Yanukovych has fled and no one has an idea where he is, and I believe things won’t be resolved for at least 10 more years. In Venezuela, the government has been corrupt for so long I am not surprised and frankly they are in a worse state than Ukraine. Thailand has been protesting since the end of October, but have received more media attention due to the fact there are so many protests going on right now.

All the protests of course have one thing in common, government corruption on some level. Every country, even the United States, has a corrupt government. I admire the people that are protesting against their government. Although I believe we could be dealing with the same problems of Ukraine and Venezuela in the future, that is a topic for another day.

Even though I admire and I am glad these people have the strength to protest, at the same time though it makes me feel really sad. Sad because there is need to protest, that people with power, within the government think more of themselves than of the people that they serve. It is truly a shame that despite how far we the human race have come, we tend to fall back into old habits. We tend to be selfish and we tend to lose our humanity along the way again and again.

It just makes me sad to see that we still have so much left to learn. I just wish that people would care about each other more. I wish people would recognize the signs sooner. I wish that people would see that any country and anyone can be corrupt and dangerous. It doesn’t matter what party they are from, humans no matter their party affiliation, status, or religion they can be corrupt.