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PLEASE NOTE :

Here are the bunch of cards I designed based on last week’s first part of a three-episode trilogy on The Big Three. The episode was entitled ‘Number One’ and it took us deeper into Kevin’s backstory, and the origin of the necklace he got from Jack. I had mentioned in my post last week that it was going to be a doozy, and although it didn’t tear me up the way Rebecca’s final scene in episode 6 did (tore me to shreds), there were moments of empathy and shared grief for poor Kevin and his absolute helplessness at the end, on Charlotte’s lawn.

I loved how this article pointed out: “No, that beard is not a Movie-Role Beard. It is an I’m-Broken-Inside Beard.” Poor friggin’ Kevin. // I was talking to some girlfriends the Wednesday night after this episode, and one of them told me she looked over at her boyfriend during this episode and he was in hysterics…that she had never seen him THAT emotional while watching the show before. I told her my theory which is this: of all the characters, Kevin is the one for the guys.

Don’t get me wrong, all the characters in some way or another expose a truth about human existence as whole no matter what color, gender, whatever you are, but for some reason I think Kevin’s fear of not appearing strong, together, and in control of his emotions is the universal dilemma of masculinity. …and many men have felt this sort of insidious breakdown and they get it. When we finally see Kevin ‘wallowing in sadness’ on Charlotte’s lawn (referencing what Kevin told Kate in episode 3), I think it represents a point a lot of men out there are afraid to get to.

I feel you, gentlemen, and I’m here to tell you: it’s okay to let it out.

For me, Justin Hartley’s portrayal of Kevin is complex and layered, and absolutely perfect…it’s been so (for me) since the very first episode, when I was on board with his discontentment of ‘The Manny’, and how he handled Olivia. One of my faaaaaave Kev moments from season 1 took place in the kitchen during that funeral service Olivia made him attend when Kevin spoke to the widow about his necklace being the only thing he had left from his dad.

For most, it was not as memorable as the bunch of Randall-scenes they can name, but for me…Hartley and that actress gave a truly brilliant performance. I felt the story underneath every line that they say to each other, and that scene is one of the few that can get me every. single. time.

In last week’s episode, we got to see what transpired between Kevin and Jack surrounding that necklace, and…you guessed it…it was great. Jack hints that he got it when he was feeling very lost (…maybe in Vietnam…maybe tied into the story of his brother?…) and how he ties it into his purpose, and swears to Kevin that he’ll find his. UGH! …and the scene comes at a time in the episode when we understand how truly purposeless Kevin feels! UGH!

…and then that scene on Charlotte’s lawn and then the scene at Randall’s front door and we finally think Kevin’s going to get the help he desperately needs when…in the classic last second switch-a-roo the series is so gosh darn good at…we find out KATE. LOST. THE BABY. omg. no. Cue that devastating promo video of tonight’s episode…

There is no doubt about it: TONIGHT…WILL…WRECK ME. I don’t want to say anymore about it. We’ll just see what unfolds, but I’m predicting a river of tears and snot. I’m with you, This Is Us. I’m with you Kate & Toby.

One thing I do hope to see is adult Kate get to interact with Jack. We saw it in last week’s episode when Coach Duff ‘became’ Jack on the podium in Kevin’s mind. We saw it with Randall twice in season 1 — once when he went on that mushroom trip up in the cabin, and again in the reenactment of his dream when Jack and William were talking and laughing. We’ve yet to see Jack with adult Kate (Chrissy Metz) and my tissues and I are waiting for it. It will be epic. Could it be tonight? Let’s watch and see…