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Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Injury-time

A little obstetric humour to lighten the mood perhaps, considering she had just been poking around the opening of ET’s obstreperous cervix like a drunk driver attempting to touch the tip of his nose.

No. Alas, no.

‘You are zero centimetres dilated.’

'Zero' is not Dutch for 8. Or for 6, or for 2 for that matter. It’s Dutch for zero.

In theory, the 40 weeks being up and Fatso Mango not budging wouldn’t be a very big deal if it wasn’t for the small matter that Fatso Mango is, well, a fatso. To be more accurate, Fatso Mango being a fatso in itself isn’t the issue, but when it’s combined with the fact that Fatso Mango’s Mammy is only a wee thing it does turn a smidge more problematic.

I’m not one to cause alarm, but the obstetrician couldn’t find the child’s legs on the ultrasound today and we believe that the baby has eaten them for nourishment.

Eaten its own legs so it has, the hungry parasitic savage.

Add that to the fact that I'm not sure if a number on the report we have is the estimated birth weight in grams or the doctor's mobile phone number, and it’s got to come out soon, for everyone’s well being.

40 weeks are up. It’s like joining all the dots, stepping back to admire, and still not having a notion what the picture is.

Idle threats to smoke Fatso Mango out have turned into solid arrangements.

solid threats do have away of making things move along. also OBs poking at your cervix helped me with my second. Or you as hubby could poke said cervix with your *ahem* I hear that gets things moving ;)

I hate to say I told you so, but, I told you so! I'm just sayin...Fatso is going to be more gorgeous than you can even begin to imagine if HE is a c-section...no squeezed pinhead...no smooshed nothing...a gorgeous round beuatiful bambino...Specs went so far as to break my water without dropping or dilating me one stinking little cm....9 pounds 6 ounces of BEAUTIFUL baby she was...a perfect c-section!

I'll admit a few days with no post and I told Jared the baby must be here! Needless to say...we are all anxiously awaiting the arrival of this precious baby we've all come to love!

My due date was a Thursday, and Friday when I went to my regular visit the doctor was confused as to why no baby! He set up an appointment for induction on the following Wednesday but Ace decided to finally arrive on his own Monday evening! In time...your entire world is going to change!!!

i am still on for the birthdate. and i don't believe all this fatso stuff, although my ten pounds of potatoes might be more accurate now, i am so in the grooove with rthis, and no i am not a bit worried about THE BOY

OMG...I have my computer practically on automatic checking this site at least twice a day...I am STALKING little Fitz!!! At least you KNOW you have a definite 'final' date if needed...c'mon Fatso Mango Fitzy!!!

My well meaning sister pulled my mom's shirt and called "ollie ollie oxen free" down it when my was 6 months pregnant...and my mom had my little brother two weeks later....obviously we didn't want that to happen at the time.