Ask
any fundie about God and
they will tell you without
hesitation that He/She/It
is infallible, that He/She/It
knows
all, sees all. That He/She/It
is, in fact, a cosmic love-pulse-matrix.

Except that He/She/It didn't
think Adam would require
an Eve.

Eve, as so many Biblical
women are, was obviously
an afterthought. One day
God
noticed that Adam looked
lonely (Gosh, who-d a thunk?)
and decided to make him
a companion, a "helper".
This new playmate could
easily have been
another guy and then
all of history would
have
changed, but no. Fortuitously
for us, God instead
whipped up a critter with
latent
reproductive capabilities.
You know, just in case
she got "hungry" after
"communing" with "snakes"
in the "garden".

Speaking of hunger, it occurs to me that our two mythical
fore bearers had to be vegetarians since there's no Biblical
evidence of them chowing down on any of God's new critters,
although it
might explain the disappearance of the dinosaurs and/or possibly
a unicorn or two. This
is doubly odd as not eating meat is expressly noted as one
of
the sins that will deny you a ticket to Paradise.

Ah, Bible. You confuse and delight me so.

-------------

I rented the last Transformers movie for a $1 at the local
vend-a-box. I now occasionally wake late in the night and
mourn those two innocent lost hours that I'll never see
again. I
eventually lapse back into a troubled sleep after fervent
prayers that Michael Bay someday gets a massive pus-wart
on his perineum.

Addendum: One of my misanthropic internet peers is the near-legendary,
in his own mind at least, "Zero Punctuation", better known
as "Yahtzee" to his imaginary friends but known as Ben
Croshaw to any number of federal agencies. If you haven't
seen one of his video
game critiques then you really should. Now would be
a good time. And
send him lots of money when you're done.

I've mentioned before how much I admire his work
but I'm mentioning him again because, coincidentally, this
week's
review of a game called "Infamous 2", one I didn't get
to see until just this morning, employed the visual metaphor
of cow-fucking.

Small world, huh?

=Lefty=

------------

"We're
going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." -
John Boehner, February 10, 2011.

The following is #47 in a list of accomplishments by the
GOP since they gained control of the House in 2011. None
have yet to result in one, single new job.

(47) 7-1-2011: The GOP is on vacation until the 7th of July,
even though a world-altering problem with the debt ceiling
is looming. But don't worry, Democratic Senator Harry Reid
and his left-wing pals are
staying in Washington to get some
real work done.