“I don’t want people to masturbate TO it. I want people to masturbate WITH it."

After Harry Potter author, JK Rowling, revealed that the two wizards had an ‘intense sexual relationship’ last week, fans are begging to see their relationship on the big screen in the upcoming Fantastic Beasts movies.

However, judging by the looks of things, it appears their relationship will be nothing more than glimpses in mirrors and short, flashback memories – something none of us want.

The second Fantastic Beasts movie disappointed fans when it was only hinted that the two wizards were in love with each other despite Dumbledore’s sexuality being known since the days of Harry Potter.

But now, Rachel Bloom – the star and creator behind the hit Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – has volunteered to fund a ‘pornographic film’ based around their ‘intense’ relationship.

Writing on Twitter, she joked: “I will fully fund this pornographic film lmk.

“Pitch: yes it should be hardcore but with an Oscar-worthy screenplay.