If you have ever taken part in family gatherings, you know that they can be extremely stressful events. The sheer number of people who attend them can be overwhelming. Another possible source of anxiety is the wide range of personalities. You may have found yourself in the middle of heated family discussions as certain members of your family decide that family gatherings are the best time to air their grievances with one another. The good news is that these notoriously trying events do not need to be quite so troublesome.

As with all family functions, both small and large, preparation is essential to a successful and pleasant family gathering. Do not wait for someone else to take control of the event. Here are six steps to having a wonderful family gathering that will make everyone want to come back next year.

1. Choose a dateChoose a date for your family gathering that will work well for everyone. Summertime is usually the best time of year, as the weather is warm and children are usually out of school. If, however, you and your family prefer sledding to swimming, a winter gathering can be just as much fun. You will most likely be planning your gathering for a weekend, so try to make it a special three-day weekend. The extra day will allow sufficient time for your family to travel.

2. Send out invitationsThe moment you have picked an appropriate date, write up andsend out your first invitations. You want your family to plan for this as much as you will, so they need to know about it well in advance. The more family members you inform early on, the more likely you are to have a great turnout. Remember to send a reminder a couple weeks prior to the gathering. If you have not heard from all of your relatives within a week or so before the event, make the extra effort to contact them. Find out for sure whether or not they will be attending.

3. Recruit people to helpDespite the fact that you are a determined and energetic woman, you cannot possibly do everything on your own. The very first thing you will want to do after choosing a date and sending out invitations is to make sure that you recruit people to help you plan the gathering and then successfully implement it.

Recruiting family members to help is easier than it sounds - if you are casual and genuinely excited about the family gathering. Try to avoid a military approach to gathering helpers. Ditch the clipboard and calls for volunteers. Several members of your family should jump at the chance to help if you are pleasant and not overbearing.

A good way to make sure people help is to focus on their strengths. Flattery is always the best policy when it comes to gathering helpers. For example, if your sister-in-law is an expert baker, you may want to try something like this: "Suzy, remember that apple pie you made two years ago at Thanksgiving? You know...the one that everybody loved? What are the chances that I could get you to make one this year?" It's not exactly subtle, but it should work.

If your brother is the one from your family who was gifted with the brawn, ask him to show off his muscles by loading and unloading tables and chairs that you need moved. He will be more than happy to flex his biceps in order to gain an adequate eating surface!

4. Plan for everyoneThe most important thing you can do to make sure your family gathering goes well is to plan, plan, plan! Preparation is easily your greatest asset. Without a plan, your gathering will quickly turn into a hectic, disoriented debacle. This is not what you want, and it is not what your family members want. Everybody benefits by having a clear idea of what to expect. You are intent on each and every family member enjoying themselves, regardless of their age. So be ready to accommodate different needs and levels of energy.

Obviously, your nine year-old nephew will end up exerting much more energy than your parents or grandparents. Be realistic with your expectations for the young ones who join you. Plan games for them to play. If the weather is appropriate, make sure to take advantage of it by allowing them to play outside. It might be a good idea to ask your fun-loving teenage brother or son to chaperon the younger children. As long as they play in a safe area and are relatively under control, you won't have to worry about any injuries that could put a damper on things.

As for the slightly older members of your family, pay attention to their needs as well. Games such as Scrabble, checkers, and various card games are perfect for this type of occasion. They also give adults an opportunity to talk with each other. This verbal communication is essentially what your whole family gathering is about, so try to create an environment that is conducive to it. Quiet games over coffee and tea are perfect for playing familial catch-up with one another.

Certain members of the family will become very tired during the gathering. To make life easier for them, shorten the length of the whole event or simply schedule a time of peace and quiet. This will lead to the prevention of over-exertion. Mix the up-tempo activities with the more relaxed ones, but do so in a way that alternates them sufficiently.

5. Think of comfortOne of the most important things you can do to make your family gathering a pleasant experience for everyone is to make sure that each and every guest is comfortable. Plan ahead as you create an atmosphere of relaxation and comfort. Remember that most of your family members are using the family gathering as a vacation of sorts. It is their time away from the daily grind, and much like you, they want their time with family to be as enjoyable and carefree as possible. Make sure that there is plenty of furniture for those who may have trouble as they stand or sit. If you do not already have furniture that is easy to get in and get out of, try to borrow some from a friend or family member who does.

6. Prepare your food menuAs with nearly all family events, much of a family gathering will revolve around food. Food is the glue that often keeps families together. Plan your food menus with care and with caution. Ask around to make sure that there are no major food allergies. If there are, plan to cook accordingly. If your family gathering is going to be at a restaurant, review all of your options. Offer a number of menus that will fit within your family's budget. It is likely that your family will participate in a potluck, so figure out who is going to bring what. Most of all enjoy the food. It is not often that so many people contribute to one meal, so relish it!

Family gatherings have developed a reputation for being hectic and stressful - seldom the source of fun and relaxation they ought to be. But your next family gathering does not have to be this way. A proper amount of preparation and a genuine enthusiasm for spending time with loved ones will ensure a pleasant and rewarding experience.

Do You Have Good Manners?In an age where it seems like the only time we see good manners on display is in the 19th century period piece movies, how do you reign on Miss Manner's meter? Find out with this quiz if you need to go back to etiquette school or if you have already graduated at the top of your class.