More from Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Ricky Bobby: I’ve sent in my application to the Real World. So I’m hoping to hear back from that. I’m putting a lot of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I’m also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like… like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, “hey, what’s up guys? Want some crack?” I’m just waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out.

Ricky Bobby: Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable.
Jean Girard: It’s a sign of affection in many countries.
Ricky Bobby: Well, not here.
Jean Girard: It is not sexual in any way. My erection has nothing to do with you.