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Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Not Everything Appears As It First Seems

I would like to go on record and put the world to right about the situation myself and Tammy find ourselves in now.

As many of you would of found out this weekend either via Twitter on Sunday or at Britmums on Friday and Saturday, Tammy and I are no longer together as husband and wife and Tammy is now in a new relationship with another man who some of you may or may not know.

Some of you may find the whole situation shocking and through what's been said to myself some of you found it a little awkward at Britmums seeing them two together whilst I was alone at home looking after our three wonderful children.

I would like to at this point thank each and everyone of you who took time out of your busy days to check in on me and see how I was doing and offer me your support and kinds words, so for that I'm extremely greatful.

The real truth of the matter is

It's Not All How It First Appears, yes Tammy is now with her new boyfriend and I truly wish them all the happiness that their time together will bring them for many years to come.

At this point I hear you gasp and ask how are you being so nice about the whole situation especially as your wife left you for another man? To answer that question I can only say that for the last two years our marriage has been rocky to the point that even the simplest of things like

"I love you"

Wasn't said enough, instead we argued and bickered about various stuff, dragging ourselves through each day more so for the kids than anything else, leading to the point where my six year old son turned to me and said

"Daddy why do you and mummy argue? Why can't you two be happy together?"

Then at a family wedding my four year old turns to his mummy saying

"mummy you and daddy are never happy like those (point to the bride and groom) were you ever happy mummy?"

Then you realise it is as bad as you thought and you hadn't done a very good job of covering it up for the children.

As for Tammy's new boyfriend his been a solid rock to her helping her deal with TP's autism, something that I couldn't do as I didn't understand it myself in all honesty let alone how to deal with it all.

So yes over the month's they have grown closure together as we have moved further apart to the point we became more like friends living under the same roof rather than husband and wife.

I noticed the signs that he was making her happy before she did in all honesty, the little smile on her face when he messaged her, the twinkle in her eye whenever she mentioned him and strangly deep down in my heart I knew before either of them that they'd end up being together as a couple.

Then came the night we went to bed at 11 and chatted all night long till I got up at 5.30, we chatted about our past, our present and our future, I told her that although it was extremely hard to accept I knew this was the right thing to do for all concerned to call a day on our marriage.

I told her I wished her and him all the best for the future, to not make the silly mistakes we'd made over the years, to tell each other how much u love each other on a daily basis and to be happy for many years to come.

Then it was like a massive weight had been lifted, we both felt alot happier than we had for quite a while in all honesty.

I think that although it's extremely hard to let go of the amazing lady I fell in love with almost 17 years ago and the only lady I've ever loved, I can stand here today and let everyone know that I'm happy for them both and I have no hard feelings nor bitterness towards them and neither should anyone else, they've done nothing wrong apart from fall in love and as they say