Let's extend this further. Even if you could wear a gas mask to filter out animal co2 and such, when you're a baby and suckle your mommy's breasts then you're consuming an animal product and are not vegan, right? Hell, the formation of the zygote from ovum and sperm is just the use of animal products from two separate animals. Zygotes are the Turduckens of the vegan world.

Joe is the next putative father. Stephanie, the biological mother, has an infant daughter with a cleft lip. She claims she wasn't with anyone else but Joe at the time, since she and her husband John were separated, but they are back together now. Joe says he can't be the father because his sperm is powerful and there's no history of birth defects in his family. Vikki, Joe's new girlfriend, has a big problem with Stephanie's lying whore ways and believes she was fucking around for years on both Joe and John.