So you guys must probably be thinking by now that there was a sale somewhere on plaid. I want to reassure you, it’s just like I’m going through. . .you know how Picasso had his blue phase. I'm having my plaid phase. I don't know. I’m feeling very lesbionic. Don't let it distract you from what I have to say.

Omid's BBQ was a disaster. If somebody else says transvestite in this group, I'm going to punch them in the face and give them a sex change so we actually have a transvestite among us.

Asa's dad, oh my god. I was watching and like tears were running down my face. When he was telling her that you're rich because of what you have on the inside, not what you own. That is so, so beautiful, kind of like Lilly's photoshoot. Did you see that Persian bitch. Like, she was hot. And I'm gay. I wanted to hit that. But what was most shocking at that photoshoot was how Lilly reacted to the camera. She was like, "Oh no no no no, I don't get in front of the camera. I'm the business owner, I stand behind the camera." And then all of the sudden she gets in front of the camera and she was like [posing] living for the camera.

And can we talk about those bathing suits with their seven cents of fabric. Who wears those? And what do they cover? And that's why she has so much money because those things must cost nothing to make. She charges hundreds and they cost nothing cuz they're so small. Crazy!

As crazy as that dinner! MJ: stop drinking homegirl. Drink after you’ve gotten there. Don't drink before you get there. You're making me look really really bad and you're going to make me lose this commission. What's wrong with you? Don’t tell the host of the dinner party that she has pictures on the internet naked with her dog held against her bosom. That's not good dinner conversation. You're making me look bad, and I can do a good job of that all on my own. I don't need your help believe me. Love you mean it, call me.

Until next week. Hang in there. I’ll see you guys soon. Peace -– in the middle east.