Why healthy expectations can make all the difference in 2017

Last year was one of the hardest I can remember. While there was good to be found, it was overwhelmingly difficult to navigate the pain and discouragement that seemed to hit me where it hurt the most. And as a cup-half-full kinda girl, I struggled to keep it full at all. 2016 challenged my joy and happiness.

I’m so glad it’s over.

Truth is, we’re going to have those hard years. We’re going to face those tough seasons. Just because we commit our lives to Jesus doesn’t mean we get a free-pass from heartache. Someone once told me, “Life sucks and then you die.” Yep. It sure feels that way sometimes.

Maybe you’re reeling from 2016, too. I wish we could meet over coffee and lick our wounds together. There’s comfort knowing we’re not alone—that we aren’t the only ones. But I’ve learned the hard way that while processing through the pain is healthy… choosing to stay in it isn’t.

And unless we change our expectations, we’ll spend our one and only life feeling sorry for ourselves… sitting in the pit of despair, reliving all the bad things that have happened.

Over and over and over again.

I’m about to share a big truth right here. And if you will let it… this knowledge will bring freedom and perspective. Ready?

Jesus didn’t die so you could have a perfect life. He died so you could have a purposeful life.

That means when (not if) life hits hard, we press into Him for wisdom rather than whine to everyone else. Instead of living hopeless we learn from hardships. Rather than being surprised when life throws curve balls, we’re ready. And Instead of focusing on the bad we find the blessing. It’s creating healthy expectations.

You see, somewhere along the way we decided life was supposed to be fair. That we deserved good things. That believing in Jesus guaranteed storm-free living. But scripture doesn’t support this kind of thinking.

Hey, I get it. I’ve thought this way before. I know how easy this mindset can be. But it’s a trap, and we have to stop falling into it. And while it may be how you’ve thought up to now, let this be the year you live in truth.

Here’s how:

1) Expect imperfection in relationships

One of the greatest gifts the cross gave us was choice. We’re not puppets under the influence of our Maker. He chose to give us free will. But so often, our human condition causes us to choose selfishly and it wreaks havoc in relationships. Sometimes we mean to hurt others, other times we don’t. Sometimes we choose to be offended, other times we don’t. Regardless, set your expectations that relationships will ebb and flow with good seasons and hard seasons.

2) Expect imperfection in situations

I can remember times when it felt life couldn’t get better. Everything seemed to be lining up perfectly—finances, health, career, future plans. My husband would joke and say it was due to clean living. And then something would shake the foundation and it changed everything without warning. How quickly our situations can convert from easy to unmanageable—loss of a job, finding a lump, plummeting stocks, an unforeseen kink in our future. If we expect smooth sailing all of the time, we’re setting ourselves up for deep discouragement when the waves hit.

3) Expect perfection from God

Here is the only place we can look for perfection and find it every time. “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of lights [the Creator and Sustainer of the heavens], in whom there is no variation [no rising or setting] or shadow cast by His turning [for He is perfect and never changes]” (James 1:7 AMP).

Maybe 2016 was a rough year, but here’s to a new start. Let’s walk into 2017 with realistic and healthy expectations, looking for perfection not in relationships or situations… but in the only One who has it.

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Meet Carey

Hi! I'm Carey -- a speaker, author and life coach honest about my life and faith, stumbles, fumbles and all. My ministry focuses on helping women untangle their self-worth from the "I'm-not good enough" messages and reminding them of their immeasurable value. Because when a woman knows her value, she is freed up to live with purpose and joy.