Sociable

Sunday, 17 April 2011

Hello my soon-to-be-educated friends, Barry Chindouche is back! I have been on a long absence 1, but I am now back with a bang. You are now free to give me your undivided attention once more, as I take you on a journey through the world of knowledge.

I was recently contacted by a source seeking knowledge. This is not rare for me, as you can imagine. However, I feel that it is time to broaden my teaching to the world. This week, a fact file on the most powerful men to ever walk the earth: US presidents.

Obama - Black president #3

Contrary to popular belief, Barack Obama is in fact the third black president2. It was a strategic coup on the part of his PR team to convince the world that he is the first.

Abraham Lincoln was allergic to crab (a then common thickening agent). His trademark top hat concealed a state-of-the art epinephrine auto-injector.

William Howard Taft was never voted into power. He took a wrong turn during a public tour of the White House, ended up in the Oval Office, and took a quick nap in the comfortable chair he found there. During the time he slept, the then president (Theodore Roosevelt) choked to death on a chicken bone3. The senate consulted the constitution, and found that clause 17(ii) stated that if the Oval Office is occupied when a president dies, they assume power. Taft proved to be a terrible president and the clause was quickly dropped from the constitution.

Lyndon B. Johnson was so scared of balloons that he outlawed them during his presidency. 7 people were sent to the electric chair for illegally selling birthday balloons.

Just a short one today - I feel your brains need warming up after the long absence from knowledge that they have suffered.

B. Chindouche

1for more on this, see future blog post “I told you I was innocent - Chindouche fought the law, and Chindouche won”2after George Washington and Ulysses S. Grant3leading to the first ever pun in US news history: "President Dead - Fowl Play Suspected"