Porn Stars Joanna Angel, Mercedes Carrera, Dana DeArmond, Mandy Muse, and Jaclyn Taylor have a message for Texas Senator Ted Cruz: Stop watching porn. This new Funny or Die video comes just days after Lying Ted got caught liking Cory Chase porn on Twitter. And we have to say, this video was actually funny. “Bottom line is we don’t want our films anywhere near Ted Cruz, because he’s too gross,” said Mercedes Carrera. She added, “I have seen things you can’t imagine coming out of the anuses of some of my co-workers.” Dana DeArmond said, “I’ve snorted cum.” And Joanna Angel finished saying, “And Ted Cruz is grosser than all of that combined. It’s like not even close.” “How am I supposed to explain to my family that Ted Cruz might watch my videos?” said Mercedes in closing. It was funny.

Funny or Die has gone political with Rebecca Romijn, Blac Chyna, Camila Mendes, Madelaine Petsch, Odette Annable and Nina Dobrev. They all produced a video explaining why women need health care for their lady parts. Actually, it makes a lot of sense. Rebecca Romijn is rarely seen nude, though we added one of her few nude scenes below, but of course when she is nude, you want her shit working. Blac, Camila, Madelain, Odette and Nina too.

Tonight the Los Angeles Kings will play the Chicago Blackhawks in Chicago to keep alive their hopes of a Western Conference championship title. The Kings are down 3-1 and desperately need a win to stay in the series beyond today. Taylor is an instrumental asset to the L.A. Kings and a large fan, but will she show up and use her Female Sideline Distraction Artist skills again this year?