Examining death through the eyes of those who have had near-death experiences can help alleviate fears

Henriette Alban walks by a row of pine trees, one of her favorite places, in front of the McGlinn Conference Center at Alvernia University.

Learning about and understanding the wonderment of near-death experiences can alleviate fears of dying and reduce the trepidation often associated with death, according to Henriette Alban, a doctor of naturopathy and owner of Living in Balance, a Reading wellness center.

And, Alban said, examining death through the eyes of those who have been close to it can help us to reassess our attitudes concerning the end of life, even while living in a society that treats death as an imposter.

"We don't need to follow those rules imposed by society," Alban said. "We don't need to be afraid of death."

Alban spoke last week at a seminar sponsored by the Circle of Life Coalition Inc., a nonprofit organization that seeks to educate the public on issues relating to the end of life.

Her own fears as a child living in Switzerland led Alban to pursue the study of near-death experiences. A self-described "fearful child," she was traumatized by having to get up by herself during the night. Over time, however, she learned to consider the evidence, and decided that a dark hallway was not such a scary place, after all.

"I became determined that I would not be controlled by my fears," she said.

If we take time to consider the evidence as presented by those who have been near death, we also will determine that death is not such as scary place, after all, Alban said.

People who have experienced the phenomenon of near death overwhelmingly describe it as a positive encounter, Alban said. Those who were blind or had lost a limb in life experienced near death in wholeness. Many reported being pulled toward a great light, and others described a tremendous sense of peace and joy.

"If you delve deeper into this topic, it is stunning what you'll discover," Alban said. "The message is that you are loved, and there is no end to us."

The Internet has enabled people who have encountered near death to share their experiences, while teaching others what they might expect. While there are many incidents of near death reported, caused by a variety of circumstances, the majority of the stories contain common threads.

Writers describe great peace; acceptance of death; lights; and a benevolent, higher power. Many speak of being and remaining changed upon returning from the experience.

"In 95 percent of all near-death experiences, people are changed," Alban said.

Many who experience near death change jobs or other life situations and become more generous, open and willing to share life experiences. Many come back with the sense that love is at the center of the universe.

"They say that the most important thing is to love one another," Alban said.

While we are biologically and societally programmed to resist death, it is rational and intelligent to recognize and acknowledge that, eventually, we all will die. Preparing for death can relieve some of the uncertainty and fear associated with it.

"Those who don't think about death can arrive at it being very surprised," Alban said. "But, with a little preparation, you can imagine what peace may be experienced at that time."

The goal, Alban said, is to arrive at death's door with a sense of acceptance and surrender, expecting to be welcomed to the other side like children who are completely enveloped in love.

Learning from those who have already arrived at the door, and sometimes walked through it and returned, can give us confidence that the process of death need not be frightening or cause for despair.

"If we do this, we'll come to understand that grace and surrender replace fear, and we can experience peace and joy," Alban said.