MoD scraps Nimrods by mistake

'I was asked what we should do about Nimrods,' explained the head of the MoD, Clive Blithering-Foole. 'I was fed up with being asked about them, so I said "No more Nimrods crap!" Unfortunately I was understood to have said "No more Nimrod - scrap!" So it wasn't my fault at all, and the fact that I'm paid by Al Quaida to undermine Britain's defence systems is irrelevant.'