Prince William Has To Miss A Screening Of The Hobbit Because Kate Middleton Is Sick Again

Poor Kate Middleton is sick again! I can’t imagine being a royal, and having my every move followed, and being a royal Duchess, and puking all the time, and having all the news of this followed, and even though I am almost identical to Kate Middleton I am nothing like her because I barely had morning sickness with any of my children. Plus, not royal. Plus, not as pretty. Plus, not young. Plus, not the most famous pregnant woman on earth.

I can remember feeling a bit queasy at the very beginning of all my pregnancies, but nothing like women with this condition suffer through. The Duchess was released from The King Edward VII Hospital after spending three days with the condition hyperemesis gravidarumand was said to be feeling much better. She spent the weekend at Kensington Palace, and took a turn for the worse on Sunday afternoon. From The Telegraph UK:

The Duchess, 30, had said she was feeling “much better” when she was discharged from hospital on Thursday morning, and on Saturday night was well enough for the Duke to feel able to attend an engagement at the Royal Albert Hall.

But at lunchtime on Sunday, St James’s Palace announced that the Duke would be “spending Sunday privately with the Duchess” instead of going to Earl’s Court. A St James’s Palace spokesman said: “It is well known that hyperemesis gravidarum often recurs and, until further notice, to allow the Duchess a degree of privacy during her pregnancy, we do not intend to offer regular condition checks or advise of routine developments associated with it.”

The Duchess’s condition was not serious enough for her doctors to consider sending her back to hospital, but women with the condition can experience symptoms for months and need repeated hospital admissions.

The Duke is expected to stay by his wife’s side until Thursday, as he had taken time off from his work as an RAF search and rescue pilot to carry out several engagements, the last of which is at the royal film performance of The Hobbit on Wednesday. The Duke is thought to have also been allowed compassionate leave.

Awww, Prince William is canceling royal engagements in order to stay with his wife and help care for her. I had no idea about these royal film performances, and total confession time here, I have never seen these Peter Jackson elf movies. I think we may have seen the first one in the theater but I don’t remember anything about it because I was amusing a bored child in the lobby for the majority of the movie. I know they were terribly popular, so feel free to Lord Of The Rings shame me. I have also never read the books in their entirety and I suppose if I were a good mother I would spend the holiday break reading them to my children every night. Maybe that is what Prince William is doing! Maybe he is by Kate Middleton’s bedside because she is ill again and reading her pages from Tolkien books! I can’t imagine being Kate Middleton and being sick again and if you are always vomiting it sounds like a whole lot of not fun. Even her darling husband understands how difficult this can be:

At a charity tennis gala on Saturday, the Duke spoke about his wife’s condition, telling a guest: “I don’t know why they call it morning sickness — they should call it all-day and all-night sickness.”

Bada bing! Like we haven’t heard every vomiting pregnant woman make this joke 90 gazillion times in the past.

I wish we knew if The Duchess were on some adult variation of the BRAT diet. I’m also sure if word gets out that she is, tons of women the world over, pregnant and not pregnant, will start eating nothing but bananas, rice, applesauce and toast in order to mimic Kate Middleton’s svelte figure. This is just how the world works. If she makes an appearance at church on Christmas Day wearing a poinsettia on her head, this will also become a fad.

And now I need to see the Tolkien movie and buy a poinsettia to fashion into some sort of fascinator. Just in case.