All the Tens had better watch their backs, because there is someone among us who is not afraid to get some secret revenge if you mess with him! This devious Ten has a long rich history of pulling terrible pranks on people with no regard to the trail of human suffering he leaves in his wake. Witness please:

1. Pouring bleach in the washing machine so when the terrible roommate he had recently kicked out of the house sneaks in to do a load, she ends up tie-dying all her clothes with horrible bleach stains.

To this day she will occasionally wear bleached clothes to work and my friend Dave will text me with photos and we share a laugh!

2. Pooping on the hoods of his enemies’ cars….. or, intending to poop on your enemy’s car, but pooping on an innocent bystander’s car accidentally!

3. Developing a serious addiction to egging personal property:

We’re not talking that I’d go egging once per month, or maybe on a random Friday with friends when we’d been drinking. We’re talking if I had a free hour I’d think, “I should go get a case.” I was seriously like an alcoholic who just couldn’t help themselves. At first I’d only go egging with my friends, but by the end I’d go egging on my free hour, lunch hour, it didn’t matter!

5. Drugging his roommate’s demon cat with a sliver of Ambien, driving the cat to a park in the middle of town, and dumping it in the hopes that it would never find its way back home. And I have to include his defense of this act:

If you knew how shitty Dave’s pet parenting skills were, you’d know that the cat is much better off having owners that actually take it to scheduled vet appointments and don’t spend its food money on weed and video games.

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