Thursday, March 18, 2010

Not Drinking The Kool Aid

Okay kids seeing as my email has been flooded with questions and comments regarding Ron Washam’s (The HoseMaster of Wine) taking a leave of absence from the wine blogosphere I figured I had better say something about it here.

Let me first thank everyone for contacting me, very sweet of you all and it seems my relationship with Mr. Washam, our fun little banter and flirtation has forever linked us in many of our shared readers hearts and minds. I am not only okay with that, I’m honored.

Ron and I have never met, our somewhat different wine blogs brought us together and in him I have found a dear friend that I love very much. The HoseMaster’s voice was a big one, lots of opinions and a fiercely sharp wit but…it was a voice. The man behind it is very sweet, very gentle and remarkably kind, and he is still very much alive so while I appreciate all the warm wishes and “are you okay?” messages I am beginning to feel like a widow over here. Ron Washam is alive and kicking people and while it is true that I, (and many others) will mourn the loss of a voice that has brought me hours of laughter I have not been handed a Dixie Cup of Kool Aid. No suicide pacts and this blog aint going nowhere!!

I had mentioned in an earlier post that I had been considering shutting Sans Dosage down so I can see why so many people contacted me when they read about The HoseMaster but as for now, right this second…my plan is to keep writing. This blog will be affected it won’t be the same without HoseMaster’s comments and I too may change a bit, I’ve lost my partner in this big bad blog world. The HoseMaster left me and I am going to have to get used to kinda standing out here on my own…damn I’m going to miss that voice and big shoulders that I got to stand on but as they say, all good things must come to an end…..and what we are left with is the stupid crap I write here.

I do want to thank everyone for the emails and all the encouragement, it is very much appreciated and I thought it was so damn sweet.

I have no idea but I was warned that he would not be showing up here and for me that was like taking two blows...no HoseMaster posts and no love from him here either. I mean, I understand not wanting to write anymore but why you gotta leave me?!

I really couldn't tell ya kid and the whole deal is really just breaking my heart....

I woke up this morning not wanting to read any blogs. My morning routine has just been knocked catawampus and I don't like it. But there is little question that I am simply going to have to get over it.

The HMW may only have been a fictional character, and it is so very true that Ron Washam, the person is not at all like the HMW when you meet him in person. But that does not change the fact that, even for me who has spent time tasting with Ron, the HMW became a place of refuge in my too frantic life.

I am hopeful that the place of humor in the wine biz has not been irretrievably lost. Maybe it is time for all of us to look for laughs when we post and not just wait for a brilliant satirist to deliver them for us.

Ron has just know posted what I think of the HMW epitaph on that website. " I'm not the HoseMaster in real life. But in real life I need a break from him. As you can imagine, he's a real jerk to live with. I won't miss him at all.

Now, go on, get out of here, you kids. Nothing to see here, no lonely barking poodles. Go home."

So, home I go knowing that Ron Washam is still a great satirist, will, from time to time, appear in emails or whatever. The HMW is dead. Long live the King, for he is still alive, and that is the real story.

Yeah, I'm with you Charlie...just not feeling the whole blog world right now and as a matter of fact I feel kinda homeless. Sigh. So see John, it's not just me..our little band of crazies has been snapped and some of us are feeling like we are just twisting in the wind.

OK, the real reason I'm taking a hiatus is because Samantha wouldn't interview me. There, it's out in the open.

Thomas,

I am certainly abandoning wine blogs, but for Samantha's, which is an addiction I cannot kick. They were wonderful source material for comedy, but dreadfully dull otherwise. I certainly plan to participate here, with all of my friends, and with Samantha, whose love transcends friendship and is something far more meaningful. If I came back to HoseMaster, it only takes about fifteen minutes of reading almost any wine blog for me to be able to satirize it, so stepping away is pretty easy.

John,

Yup, I disappeared once before, but under far different circumstances. The first time I left because the cheesecake shots dictated I needed to. This time my psyche dictated I needed to.

Charlie,

I'm not sure anyone who hasn't done it his whole life can understand the anger and self-loathing involved in writing comedy and satire. It was tough when I got paid big dough to do it, doing it for free seemed horribly self-destructive. Sure, I need a psychiatrist, but since I don't have insurance I have to self-prescribe. I prescribed a vacation, and maybe a long one, and maybe a permanent one.

There has never been very much humor in the wine business, to its detriment. One guy can't fill that void anyway. It has always been a business filled with wonderful and fascinating and smart people, but very few who can laugh at themselves and laugh at the smugness and self-congratulation and general absurdity and immodesty of the wine business. The blogs are filled with folks who take themselves and wine FAR too seriously. And they win idiotic awards like "Best Wine Descriptions on a Blog." I can proudly say I know I'm full of crap, and laugh about it. Many take that pose, but I can't think of many who actually believe it.

My Gorgeous Samantha,

I'm sorry to have hogged your comment board. Who am I, Puff Daddy Jr?

The gift of our love sustains me every day. No one admires your brilliance and talent as much as I do. No one loves you as much as I do. It is an honor to be part of your life, to know you as well as I've come to know you. We'll meet soon, Love, though I already feel like few know me as well as you do. Our online romance has sickened lots of folks, but you and I know that our blogs were our places to be together. Now those places are down to one. You know I'd never leave you. I'll be here.

I love you!

I'm flattered, and astounded, you all found me amusing, even talented. Charlie, thanks so much. Yes, that was sort of my epitaph, though I've always said that my headstone should quote the great novel "Scaramouche,"

"He was born with the gift of laughter, and the sense that the world was mad."

Thank you everyone. Samantha, Love, you can delete this if you like. I've gone on too long. Sheesh, I should get my own blog.

So funny you should say Breakfast Club, I was just watching that a few weeks ago and found myself giggling as I tried to figure which one of those kids each HoseMaster commenter would be! I wanna be Judd Nelson.

Well, I'm glad there's still a place where I can throw a few spitballs at Ron.

Yes indeed, humor sorely lacks in the wine world, but that's only because most people in it aren't in it for anything loftier than their own edification; but what's new in business?

Still, I don't think that lacking humor or personal edification describes the majority of bloggers. They aren't in the wine business, never will be, and never should be. From my perch, they appear not to have much of a clue--not about wine, I mean. But they do know their hit stats.

I read the baboon post, very touching really. If you do silence your blog I hope like Ron you don't pull the plug. Leave it open just in case the mood strikes you or that "Shit I just have to say it" thing comes back.

Little Jimmie,

Yeah a very cool guy sent me a hilarious pictorial that pointed out how much Ron looks like Carmen. Made me laugh my ass off then I sent him a Dear John letter....just too soon after the HoseMaster's death, made me feel like I was cheating to laugh with another man....

See now I really do have a reason to keep this blog going, got to so everyone can come here to visit with one another. Now we just have to get Anon 1 to post over here from time to time. Not sure what its going to take but I draw the line at showing him my bananas.