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25 Let’s talk about it People Daily, WEDNESDAY, January 18, 2017 In search of the ultimate thrill Sex toys are the new secret buzz in town with some vendors receiving as many as 40 clients a day By Evelyn Makena @evemake_g media. Those that contributed to the debate spurred by the photo were evidently appalled at the sight of the gadget as it is considered a taboo subject in the society. Others cringed at the embarrassment caused by the inappropriate photo. The truth of the matter, however, is that the photo brought to light the reality that few have the guts to talk about – a rising number of people are buying, selling and using these gadgets albeit in secrecy. A look at the multiple pages A on social media dealing with the sex toys in Nairobi alone paints the picture of a vibrant business. There are a number of sex toys businesses in the country recording booming sales of the gadgets. One vendor of the gadgets in Nairobi revealed that the shop receives between 30 and month ago a photo of a woman pictured with a sex toy in her handbag got tongues wagging on social 40 clients on a good day, most of whom are women with prices ranging from Sh2,000 to Sh8,000 for dildos, which are common among female clients. “At least 90 per cent of our clientele are women who mainly cite the desire to spice up their sexual experiences as the main motivator to buy the gadgets. We have products for the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender (LGBT) and straight people with fetishes,” said the vendor. According to the vendor, another bulk of the clients they receive buy sex toys with the intention of gifting their friends during birthdays and bridal showers. It’s a thriving business only that there is minimal chance for you to find the wares explicitly displayed like mitumba clothes in Ngara. Most of these vendors are keen on protecting the privacy of their customers, hence have an online shopping option with delivery at the clients convenience. For some single women, turning to the gadgets is a precautionary measure as they do not want to sleep around with numerous partners and risk contracting Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDS). Despite all the evidence that the use of sex toys is a reality in our society few women seem to have a clue about their use, at least not publicly. But if the numbers by the vendors are anything to go by, there is evidently a demand for the gadgets. “I have seen and heard about dildos, but I have not used them personally. It’s common to see them in bridal showers where the sex aunties use them to impart bedroom skills to the brides to be,” says Samantha Achieng’, a Nairobi resident. Men on other hand are not burying their heads under the sand about the use of these gadgets. They seem to be aware of their use. “I know of women who use dildos and vibrators. One of my friends for instance resorts to the gadgets for fear of the baggage that ExpErt’s takE Sexologist Maurice Matheka says the reasons women are willing to acquire sex toys vary with pursuit for thrill and pleasure being the bottom line. “These women are searching for sexual stimulus. Some of them are in relationships, but are looking to spice things up,” reveals Matheka. There is also another crop of women in relationships who turn to these toys because they lack sexual satisfaction from their partners. Advancement in technology has significantly contributed to the popularity of these gadgets. Most information and behaviour that were once considered to belong to the western world have infiltrated our society via the Internet. “More women from the middle class and the high class are resorting to use of the sex toys as a lifestyle. This is because they are more exposed than their counterparts. comes with relationships. The gadgets act as an easy fix for her,” says Eugene Muthomi. Despite the seemingly wide- spread use of sex toys among women, men are confident that these gadgets are in no way going to replace them. “I agree that women are turning to the sex toys to derive sexual pleasure without necessarily involving the men, but truth is they cannot replace us. You can try to fake replacement of the actual act, but not the preliminaries and intimacy that a woman enjoys from a man,” adds Eugene. Sexologist Matheka also feels that the trend is no reason for men to worry. He is, however, quick to add that men need to up their bedroom skills so as not give women room to look for alternatives. When a child becomes a perpetrator of domestic violence With his mop of blond curls and big blue eyes, five-year-old Jack Talbot looks for all the world as if butter wouldn’t melt in his little rosebud mouth. And, most of the time, Jack is indeed a loving, happy, gentle boy who is settling in well in his first year at school. However, on occasions — and there have been many — Jack can become so angry he physically at- tacks his mother, Kylie: kicking, punching, biting and gouging her face, leaving her with nasty, and embarrassing, scars and bruises she’s too ashamed to show in public. Kylie, a purchasing controller for a technology firm, is finding it so hard to rein in Jack. It’s a terrifying prospect, bearing in mind Kylie has for the past two years been a single parent, having left the father of her two children in March 2015 after five years of marriage. Although Jack was only a toddler at the time, his mother wonders — and she may well be right — whether what he witnessed is the underlying root of his violent temper. Certainly, the timings seem to fit: the outbursts started soon after Kylie and the children left the family home. And, while Jack may be among the youngest perpetrators, he is sadly by no means the only child in Britain guilty of physically attacking a parent. A UK-wide survey last year by researchers One Pulse revealed that an alarming three in 10 mothers claim to have been physically attacked by their children. Meanwhile, the number of calls about violent children to the charity, Family Lives almost doubled to 40,000 last year. -Daily Mail