15 Ways to Find Healing in Suffering

To heal healthily and most effectively one must allow the emotions and thoughts to be felt and expressed while your head and heart have become temporarily disconnected. Losing someone very close and dear to you is going to hurt. There is no way around it, over it, or under it; you must go THROUGH it. The more intense the love was, the more painful the loss will be.

Allow yourself to feel. A slew of emotions are swirling together and you may find it very suffocating. Allow yourself to embrace, engage and connect with these emotions. Surrender and weep, scream, punch a pillow. Then just breathe. In and out.

Allow yourself to think. Your world has changed. Your plans for your future have changed. Your meaning of life has changed.

Allow yourself to talk. Telling your story helps process the loss and bridge the gap disconnection between your head and heart.

Allow yourself to write it down. Get a notebook and write down emotions and thoughts. Get them out of your heart and head. Do not worry about grammar, spelling, punctuation etc.

Allow yourself to emotionally and sometimes physically distance yourself from the naysayers and negative people.

Allow yourself to listen to music. Listen to instrumental lullabies, classical, contemporary, alternative music. There is healing in music.

Allow yourself to meditate with the flickering flame of a candle or fireplace. Become mesmerized into a spiritual trance to connect with Spirit.

Allow yourself to submerge in a warm bath with Epson salt to release the toxins.

Allow yourself to have your faith and beliefs to be unclear. Allow yourself to visit a different church. Allow yourself to be mad at God. This too shall pass.

Allow yourself to pamper yourself with a massage for deep relaxation.

Allow yourself to nap. Sleep patterns are disrupted. Grief work and mourning are exhausting.

Allow yourself to eat something nutritious. Church family may be able to provide a meal.

Allow yourself to drink extra water to keep your energy up and body from dehydration.

Allow yourself to ask for help and to accept help. You are low on energy. Ask a neighbor to mow the grass for you. Ask if another parent can take over the carpool. Ask a friend to help you pick up groceries. Ask for help with the kids. Your friends and loved ones in the neighborhood and church don’t know what to do for you.

Allow yourself to seek emotional help. You need not grieve alone.

I wish you peace and happiness in your hearts, love and joy in your souls.