"One day Molla Nasreddin went to a banquet. As he was dressed
rather shabbily, no one let him in. So he ran home, put on his
best robe and returned. Immediately, the host came over, greeted
him and ushered him to the head of an elaborate banquet table.

When the food was served, Nasreddin pushed his sleeves up to
his plate and said, "Eat sleeves, eat! It's obvious that
you're the real guest of honor today, not me!"

Hundreds and thousands
of stories about Molla Nasreddin are enjoyed throughout the world,
not just among Turkish speakers where the anecdotes originated.
Azerbaijanis and Iranians know this comic sage as "Molla
Nasreddin." Turks and Greeks call him "Hoja Nasreddin."
Kazakhs say "Koja Nasreddin;" Arabs, "Juha;"
and Tajiks, "Mushfiqi." (Spellings sometimes vary:
Nasreddin can be found as Nasrudin, Nasr ed-din and Nasr al-din;
Molla is also written as Mulla; and Hoja as Khoja.)

Molla Nasreddin stories are eternal; they deal with social issues
which are fundamental to human nature-social injustice, class
privilege, selfishness, cowardliness, laziness, incompetence,
ignorance, narrow-mindedness and all kinds of fraud. Though most
of the stories are set in 13th century teahouses, bath houses,
caravansarai and market places, Molla's observations about human
nature are so insightful and told so cleverly that they have
the power to entertain and mesmerize us centuries later.

Right:From the Magazine, "Molla Nasreddin,"
July 7, 1906.

He was a great advocate of women's rights.

Molla's observations involve
people from all walks of life, from beggar to king, politician
to clergy, and scholar to merchant. His wife and his donkey (not
necessarily in that order) are among his most constant companions.
His stories often point to an obvious truth which has been taken
for granted and usually include an unexpected twist that make
his ideas witty and fresh. Though Molla often appears as a fool,
he usually is the one who cleverly exposes other people's foolishness.

Some say Nasreddin is a legendary figure. Others insist that
he was a real person though the exact details of his actual life
have not been proven. It is generally accepted that he was born
in a Turkish village in 1208 and died around 1284. Every year,
an "International Nasreddin Hoja Festival" is held
between July 5-10 in the town where he was buried in Turkey,
giving writers and artists a chance to present their works of
drama, music, paintings, films and animation and keep the memory
of Nasreddin alive.

Azerbaijanis are extremely fond of Molla Nasreddin anecdotes
and entertain one another by telling them at parties and family
gatherings, injecting Molla's humor and wit into the natural
flow of conversation just as they do with proverbs and jokes.
Many people have a large repertoire of Molla stories to draw
upon and can introduce them into real life situations at the
appropriate moment.

A sampling from the great treasury of Molla Nasreddin stories
follows. Since these anecdotes have been passed down orally,
generation after generation, considerable variations may exist
in the way they are told through time and space. Despite the
differences, or perhaps even because of them, Molla Nasreddin
is esteemed as the most popular satirical comic character of
all Eastern folk literature.

Reliable Source"How old are you,
Molla?"

"Forty."

"But you said that two years ago when I asked."

"That's right. I always stand by my word!"

Good Swimmer?In the old days, men
were permitted to have more than one wife. Molla himself took
a second wife who was younger than the first one. One evening
he came home to find them quarreling about which of them Molla
loved more.

At first, Molla told them he loved them both, but neither of
them were satisfied with his answer. Then the older one asked,
"Well, just suppose the three of us were in a boat, and
it started to sink. Which of us would you try to save?"

Molla thought for a moment, and then said to his older wife,
"My dear, you know how to swim, don't you?"

Chickens to the DefenseOne day, some other
mollas were complaining about Molla to Tamerlane, so Molla took
a hen with its chicks to one of Tamerlane's advisors. The following
day, Nasreddin and the mollas were summoned to the palace.

After the complaint was heard, the advisor began his defense
for Molla. Then Tamerlane asked Molla, "What can you say
to prove that you're not guilty?" Molla replied, "I
have nothing more to say, your Majesty. The hen and chicks have
already spoken in my favor."

To Make the People Stop TalkingOne day, Molla and his
son went on a journey. Molla preferred to let his son ride the
donkey while he walked. Along the way, they passed some travelers.

"Look at that healthy young boy on the donkey! That's today's
youth for you! They have no respect for their elders! He rides
while his poor father walks!"

The words made the lad feel very ashamed, and he insisted that
his father ride while he walked. So Molla climbed on the donkey
and the boy walked by his side. Soon they met another group.

"Well, look at that! Poor little boy has to walk while his
father rides the donkey," they exclaimed.

This time, Molla climbed onto the donkey behind his son.

Soon they met another group, who said, "Look at that poor
donkey! He has to carry the weight of two people."

Molla then told his son, "The best thing is for both of
us to walk. Then no one can complain."

So they continued their journey on foot. Again they met some
travelers.

"Just look at those fools. Both of them are walking under
this hot sun and neither of them is riding the donkey!"

In exasperation, Molla lifted the donkey onto his shoulders and
said, "Come on, if we don't do this, it will be impossible
to make people stop talking."

Tiger PowderOne day Molla Nasreddin
was sprinkling some powder on the ground around his house.

"Molla, what are you doing?" a neighbor asked.

"I want to keep the tigers away."

"But there are no tigers within hundreds of miles."

"Effective, isn't it?" Molla replied.

Donkey's WordOne day a neighbor called
on Molla.

"Molla, I want to borrow your donkey."

"I'm sorry," Molla said, "but I've already lent
it out."

As soon as he had spoken, the sound of a donkey braying came
from Molla's stable.

"But Molla, I can hear your donkey in there."

"Shame on you," Molla said indignantly, "that
you would take the word of a donkey over my word."

Whatever You SayOne day the King invited
Molla to his palace for dinner. The royal chef prepared, among
others, a cabbage recipe for the occasion. After the dinner,
the King asked, "How did you like the cabbage?"

"It was very delicious," complimented Molla.

"I thought it tasted awful," said the King.

"You're right," added Molla, "it was very bland."

"But you just said it tasted 'delicious,'" the King
noted.

"Yes, but I'm the servant of His Majesty, not of the cabbage,"
he replied.

As Fast As SoundOne day Molla climbed
up into a minaret and shouted at the top of his lungs. Immediately,
he came down and started running.

"What's happening? Why are you running, Molla?" asked
a passerby. "To see how far my voice carries," he replied.

Cat TaleOne day Molla bought
three okes (an oke is 2.8 pounds) of meat and took it home to
his wife. Then he returned to work. Immediately, his wife called
her friends and prepared a superb dinner. In the evening, Molla
returned for supper, and his wife offered him nothing but bread
and onions.

He turned to her and said, "But why haven't you prepared
anything from the meat?"

"I rinsed the meat and was going to put it on the stove
when this damn cat came up and took it away," she said.

Molla at once ran to get the scales. Then he found the cat and
weighed it. It was exactly three okes!

Then he turned to his wife and said, "Look here! If what
I have just weighed is the cat, then where's the meat? But if
this is the meat, then where's the cat?"

The Doctor's CureOne day Molla fell seriously
ill. His wife became very frightened and, thinking Molla might
die, ran for the doctor.

"Oh, Doctor, my husband is gravely ill. We're very poor
and have many children. I'm afraid something might happen to
him, and then who will take care of the children?"

On hearing the word "poor," the doctor replied, "Why
do you create problems for the poor man? Even if I prescribed
medicine for him, how would you pay for it if you don't have
any money?"

The wife returned home and told Molla. A few days later Molla
recovered. Soon, he headed off to the doctor. "I've come
to say 'thank you.' I've recovered, thanks to you."

The doctor replied, "How's that? I didn't treat you."

"And that's the very reason I recovered. Had your ugly breath
touched me that day, who knows which cemetery I would be lying
in today?"

Man's Best QualitiesOne day someone asked
Molla, "What are the best qualities of mankind?"

"Well," he replied, "a philosopher once told me
that there are two. He had forgotten the one, but he told me
the other. But to tell you the truth, I've since forgotten that
one, too."

Beauty UnveiledAccording to social
rules existing during Molla's day, brides didn't show themselves
to their future husbands prior to marriage.

On Molla's wedding day, his wife unveiled her face to him and
asked, "Tell me, which of your relatives can I see without
covering my face?" Molla replied, "Show your face to
whomever you want; just make sure you keep it covered in my presence!"

Light at NightOne day, someone asked
Molla, "Which is more valuable to man, the sun or the moon?"

"The moon, of course, because we need more light at night."

Dreams in DetailOnce Molla woke his
wife in the middle of the night and said, "Hey, be quick,
give me my glasses." The wife asked, "Why do you need
your glasses in the middle of the night?" Molla replied,
"I'm having a very interesting dream and need to see some
of the details that are a bit blurry."

(Obviously, the reference to glasses would indicate that this
story was added much later than the 13th century).

Questions as AnswersOne day Molla was asked,
"How is it you always answer a question with another question?"

"Do I?" he replied.

The Turkish BathOne day Molla went to
a Turkish bath but as he was dressed so poorly, the attendants
didn't pay much attention to him. They gave him only a scrap
of soap, a rag for a loin cloth and an old towel.

When Molla left, he gave each of the two attendants a gold coin.
As he had not complained of their poor service, they were very
surprised. They wondered had they treated him better whether
he would have given them even a larger tip.

The next week, Molla came again. This time, they treated him
like royalty and gave him embroidered towels and a loin cloth
of silk. After being massaged and perfumed, he left the bath,
handing each attendant the smallest copper coin possible. "This,"
said Molla, "is for the last visit. The gold coins are for
today."