Military group sparked by mother’s love

DIGHTON — Carol Bedard is all too familiar with the military way of life.

Her daughter, 21-year-old Bethany-April Bedard, is a sergeant in the U.S. Army Reserve who was recently stationed at Fort Hood in Texas.

Kendra Sardinha, Staff writer

Carol Bedard is all too familiar with the military way of life.

Her daughter, 21-year-old Bethany-April Bedard, is a sergeant in the U.S. Army Reserve who was recently stationed at Fort Hood in Texas.

It was Bethany-April’s service inspired Bedard to start a military support group for those who have loved ones overseas, those who have lost loved ones in the line of duty and those who have family serving away from home.

Meeting for the first time a few weeks ago, the group will continue to meet from 7 to 9 p.m. on the first and third Thursday of each month at the Dighton Veterans of Foreign Wars Hall Post #2094 on School Street.

“People are usually stationed in Texas before they get sent to Irag,” Bedard said. “Bethany was lucky in that she was given the clearance to come home and get back to college. She could still be given the word at any time, that she’s going overseas.”

“If she could finish that without interruption," Bedard said, “that would be great.”

Bethany-April works as an army EMT and is studying medical research genetics at the University of Connecticut. She has completed her senior year, but has internships still left to complete.

“I found that as a mom, experiencing this, the uncertainty, is difficult,” Bedard said. “I know it, the rest of the family knows it.”

Bedard’s second child, Heidi, 19, is going into her sophomore year at Wheaton College.

“It’s hard for Heidi, “ Bedard said. “She misses her, but it’s comforting for her as well as the rest of the family, when they can talk to Bethany by phone.”

Bethany’s journey has made Bedard realize how precious life is.

“When you add in situations like this [war], you realize it even more,” she said.
Bedard’s motivation for starting the group was simply out of recognition.

“I recognized a real commonality with other moms that touched me deeply,” she said.

Bedard recalled the story of a woman she met from Rhode Island who had a son who was stationed overseas for three years.

“She was always upset,” Bedard said, “even after his tour was over and he was back home, she still cried. She was at a party with him and she got upset.”

“Even when they’re home,” she continued, “it still upsets you to know all they’ve been through and have seen.

“Our family has a better scenario than most,” Bedard said. “We don’t have a family member who has actually been deployed out of the country. I can only imagine how the parents of those who are out serving must be feeling.”

Bedard looked around for groups in the area and after she found none, others suggested that she start her own, knowing there are many people who are going through the same struggle.
She contacted Robert “Woody” Woods, director of the Veteran’s Services office in Dighton and Berkley and post commander for the Dighton VFW Hall, to see if he knew of any such group already.

“The nearest support group I found is in Newport, R.I.,” Woods said.

Seeing a need in their own community, Woods and Bedard got to work organizing a support group for the Dighton area. Woods recently attended selectmen meetings in both Dighton and Berkley to spread the word throughout the community that this group is available. Bedard even hit the streets, handing out flyers at local grocery stores.

Woods drew on his experience in the military while Bedard looked to her previous leadership roles — teacher, guidance counselor, head of a day care, Girl Scout leader, parent representative for the student council and volunteer at a hotline for post-pardom depression — to be able to unite local military familes.

“I’m not afraid to put myself out there,” she said.

Still, Bedard credited Woods for being such a driving force in the development of the group.
“It has been so reassuring to me that he’s been so willing to help,” she said.

Having veterans and members of the military on hand is crucial to the group’s success, she said.
“It’s great to have a person or people for a resource who can help answer any questions that I won’t have the answer to,” she said.

“There was a good turnout at the first meeting,” Woods said. “It went very well. This is a great place to have any questions answered that people may have, such as ‘What is it like in the military?’ or ‘What can families expect?’”

As the group develops, Bedard said she has just a few guidelines she would like to incorporate. She would like to open each meeting with a moment of silence and a reading a short inspiration poem or paragraph and then begin introductions. But above all, Bedard hopes to create and maintain a positive, safe environment where everyone should be able to say what they feel.

The group will also offer the services of Don Hirschy and Dave Marrill, who are affiliated with the North Christian Church on Chestnut Street.

“If anyone has a need if a family member is deployed,” she said, “they are very willing to help the family in any way they can.”

The support group is as much about breaking down communication walls as it is connecting families to resources.

“People can gain strength in a group atmosphere,” Bedard said. “This is a place where everyone understands what they’re feeling.

“The situation in Iraq might be improving,” she said, “but it’s still going to take time for all the troops to get out. There’s a lot of unknowns.”

The next meeting will take place from 7-9 p.m. on September 6.

Call Carol Bedard with any questions at (508) 823-9164.

ksardinha@tauntongazette.com

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