Yesterday was a big day for the Occupy movement: May Day. They billed it as a day to tell capitalism, the uber-rich, and spendthrifts in general to shove off. There were protests aplenty. Some people got arrested, some people destroyed some things, and some people just made an honest attempt at expressing their dissatisfaction with The Way Things Are.

So, how to capitalize off of this as a freelance writer? One idea: Use it to write a totally innocuous post in which you celebrate spending lavishly, ostensibly for your birthday, but actually as trollbait for the few people on the Internet who would read it.

This year the month of May kicked off with branches of the Occupy movement storming the streets of Manhattan marching and videotaping police brutality.

All this happened outside the window of Onegin as I sat in a plush chair dining on red caviar wrapped in blintzes and sipped from tiny glasses of spicy horseradish infused vodka. For May Day in my world is also my birthday and for one day, I felt a part of the one percent as I spent the afternoon in completely opulent luxury.

Ms. Covington doesn’t even go all the way, choosing to visit places like SCRATCHbread, Parm, Pegu Club, and The Vault at Pfaff’s. What, Cipriani wouldn’t suffice?

For the record, the Writer Lives Like One Percent For a Day gag was already done by Kevin Roose over at Dealbook almost a month ago, and he at least went through the trouble of scoring a bodyguard, a private plane ride, and a snazzy new suit.

The most egregious slight against anti-capitalism movements may be, however, that she was likely paid for her services of writing something that isn’t a review, or comprehensive coverage, or really anything but a scrapbook page penned with the sole purpose of instigation that ends as this did.

Police lined the streets and Broadway was blocked off from traffic. So, I did what any self-respecting one percent birthday girl would do: I marched down the dark stairway into the swank cocktail lounge and ordered champagne.

Not falling on either side, we can’t be sure, but we would advise a simple fact check: Would a self-respecting “one percent” anything write anything like this, let alone publish it?