'Classic' Ann Landers: Talk to parents about "odd" child; bridesmaid should shut up

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Rockford Register Star

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Posted Mar. 16, 2014 at 6:00 AM

Posted Mar. 16, 2014 at 6:00 AM

Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999.

Dear Ann Landers: I live in a nice suburb and have two well-adjusted children, a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl. The problem is the 12-year-old boy who lives three doors away. He really is strange. I rarely see him with children his own age. He often plays with kids who are much younger than he is, including my own.

Other neighbors have mentioned this boy's peculiar and unpredictable nature. They do not trust him. He once bit a child and knocked another boy off his bicycle. Recently, I had a basketball hoop installed in our driveway. As soon as the hoop went up, the boy started to play there. After a week of showing up in our driveway, I told him he had to ring our bell and ask permission. After repeated attempts to get permission, with little success, he finally got the message. He then began peering in our windows like a Peeping Tom to see whether anyone was home so he could ring our bell. This spooked my wife.

Frankly, I don't want this boy around my house or my children. His father is a friendly guy but travels three weeks out of the month. His mother is cold and distant. Meanwhile, the boy continues to hang around our property.

Should I discuss my concern with the boy's father or simply continue to discourage his presence around our house? Please help. - Worried Parent in Illinois

Dear Worried Parent: That child needs to be seen by a professional for evaluation. His behavior suggests that he has some problems that need attention. You should talk to the boy's father about your concerns, which sound legitimate to me. Meanwhile, make sure that an adult is present whenever he plays with your children.

Dear Ann Landers: Are you sick and tired of hearing from disgruntled bridesmaids? I hope you will print one more letter.

I have a message for bridesmaids who complain about the expense of buying pink dresses with shoes to match.

I was married a year ago and went out of my way to accommodate my bridesmaids. Those who accepted were told they could choose the style of dress they wanted from the six or seven I liked. Only one showed up at my house to make a selection. I found a seamstress who would make the dresses at a reasonable price ($60 each), and I bought the material. Then, I found a wholesale shoe store that sold me the matching shoes (already dyed) for $13 a pair. Each bridesmaid had a total bill of $73.

If they hate their dresses, too bad. And what they do with them after the wedding is no concern of mine. If a friend doesn't want to make the small sacrifice, she should say, "Sorry, no," when asked to be in the wedding party. If she agrees to accept the honor, she should buy the dress and shoes and shut up. - No Name in Fla.

Page 2 of 2 - Dear No Name: You sound like a practical (and tough) lady, but I can't argue with a thing you've said. Your last line is worth repeating, so I'll do just that: If she agrees to accept the honor, she should buy the dress and shoes and shut up.

Do you have questions about sex but no one to talk to? Ann Landers' booklet "Sex and the Teenager" is frank and to the point. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Teens, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at creators.com.