Unless it involves email and photos and decision-making, it’s really hard. All of mine (and myself included) are long distance, so I email my girls to get opinions on things. And then the projects and stuff, I just do myself. I’m not going to have a "girls night out" because we’re all in six different states, only my sister (MOH) was present at the bridal shower that I traveled 12 hours one way for. And I’m fine with them not having any "duties" because they are all going to be there on the wedding day having a blast with us, and that’s really all that matters to me.

I’m sure she feels bad that she can’t be there with you, so see if you can do stuff over the internet to involve her in some of the decisions. If she’s crafty, she might even volunteer to take over one of the projects or something.

Two of my bridesmaids are long distance too. I am doing a bridesmaid newsletter sort of thing to help keep them in the loop. Other than that and showing them pics of potential Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and getting input, there isn’t much to do.

I thought about having a girls afternoon a day or two before the wedding. It can be a day where we go get manicures or go to lunch and just talk and hang out.

One of mine is long distance. She made favors for the bridal shower and mailed them to my moh and she is currently making chair signs for me. We talk on the phone 2 – 3 times a week and she is the only one of my bm’s that knows my blog address. All of this keeps her involved. She is also flying out three days before the wedding so she can participate in the pre-wedding activites.

I was a long distance bridesmaid. The bride had 3 bridesmaids, she lived in Hawaii with one of the bridesmaid. The other lived in Arizona, and I live in PA. I flew to Arizona (the mid-point for us) and so did the bride, and we went dress shopping together for the bride’s dress and the bridesmaid dresses. That’s about all we did in "duties". The Arizona bridesmaid and I wern’t there for any helpful descison making or anything. I don’t even know when she had her bridal shower. Arizona Bridesmaid or Best Man and I did get together with the Hawaii Bridesmaid or Best Man when we got to Hawaii and plan a Bachlorette par-tay. Which was wonderful. And since we were there a week before the wedding we helped with settling plans for that week.

Now I’m planning my wedding, although I don’t have BMs, Arizona gal and Hawaii gal are my bestests and I email them photos of ideas that I’m thinking about and get their opinion. They have been great with ideas and suggestions and thats all I can ask for.

I’m in the same boat. I’m in PA, and I have one bridesmaid in each of the following states: NY, DE, MD, VA, and AZ. Yes, Arizona. The AZ one just got married in VA a few weeks ago, and she had all of us get a few of the last minute things she needed, that she and her fiance didn’t want to deal with during the week they were home before the wedding. I just email with my girls to get opinions if I need them. But everytime I’ve been a bridesmaid, I’ve never been local. Mostly, I would just offer support Probably not the answer you’re looking for, but it’s true!

This does help…thanks ladies! We all collaborated on Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and I actually got camera phone pics from her when she went dress shopping while I was shopping with my other BMs…worked out pretty nicely. Recently in an e-mail she asked me what else she could do..and I was like "I don’t know! I’ve never done this before…but let me consult the experts on Weddingbee"

Since they are so far away, I think it’s important that they know that emotional support is the way they can be the biggest help to you up until the wedding day. Even if they can’t be there to help you put together eight hundred million favors, being able to call them and talk about the stress is just as helpful! Camera phones are also WONDERFUL! I always had mine with me and used it often. With my girls, I also made a big deal about all the things I was going to need their help with the weekend of the wedding. I put together a bridesmaid packet to send out to each of them that had preliminary decor ideas, the dress they needed to get and information about accessories and accomodations. I wrote an entire page on each girl and why I was chosing her, why she was so special to me, and all the things she had done to help me over the years. I also told them about what I was really going to need their help with. (For instance my girlfriend Maria, is like the mama of the group and I knew I was really going to need her time keeping skills the day of the wedding and let her know that she had full rights to boss people around about not being on time). The packet was actually really helpful because it forced me to pull a lot of that information together early on. Through doing that, I actually realized that a lot of the details I was choosing weren’t really conveying the feel I wanted for the wedding. Anyway, good luck!