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I’ve been to countless baby showers by now, and I feel like it’s time to impart some wisdom regarding the dos and don’ts of baby shower gift giving.

Do NOT give blankets, stuffed animals, or other suffocation hazards. They are not allowed to be around babies because they contribute to an increased risk of SIDS. Unfortunately, this seems to be the number two frequently gifted item.

The number one gifted item has to be clothes. Mom-to-be will probably end up with far more clothes than she needs, and most of them will be for 0-6 months. If you feel called to bestow clothing, I recommend gifting 18-24 month clothing, but make sure it corresponds with the appropriate season when baby will be that age.

Remember mama needs some love too. I love baby showers where mom gets a few things for herself: a nursing nightgown, slippers, a robe, a prenatal massage certificate etc. I feel like everyone gets caught up in buying super cute baby clothes, but there are many other needs.

Like bottles. Bottles can be SO expensive. If mama has bottles picked out on her registry, get them. If she doesn’t, you can always google or ask for recommendations. Either way, bottles are a necessary expense that mama should have for a 2:30am emergency when baby stops latching and needs to administer pumped breast milk or formula. In these moments, mama needs a bottle a lot more than a cute onesie.

Follow the registry. Don’t buy whatever the heck you want. Buy off of the registry that mama-to-be has painstakingly created. She has probably done a lot of research and knows exactly what she wants, unless she specifically tells you differently.

Collaborate with other people and buy expensive gifts. The most helpful gifts were the big ticket items: cribs, mattresses, car seats, strollers, high chairs, nursing chair. These items can really stress parents out if they have to buy all of them out of pocket.

Be practical. Everyone wants to buy cute things, but practical gifts are important too. Think changing pads, wipe warmer, cribs sheets, mattress protector, thermometer, Desitin. They are like the cleaning supplies of parenthood. No one wants to spend money on them. Wouldn’t it be better for someone else to buy them for you?

Gift cards are wonderful; however, make sure the gift card is from the place they are registered (or somewhere else they use frequently). I have so many gift cards from places I don’t use, and it becomes hard to purchase exactly the right amount without going over and spending additional money on something I didn’t really want, just trying to finish the dang gift card. Also, make sure you don’t purchase gift cards from a place going out of business. I had hundreds of dollars in gift cards for Babies R Us that I had to try and use right before they closed.

And if you feel totally lost and overwhelmed, just give money. No one is ever upset about this. And cash is best because checks can expire.