Weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and funerals are rituals that make us slow down and have deeper, more profound life experiences. These rituals help us celebrate the good times and deal and heal from the bad times. In marriage, we also need rituals to deal with the good and bad times and these rituals will keep as well as increase the passion and aliveness in your intimate relationship. The rituals I am about to discuss are best done on a…

Did I just say that? Yes I did! People who cheat really looking for a different self and I explain why in detail in this short video. Watch the video and get a better idea of what people who cheat are looking for. It will help you to understand why people cheat and see why you shouldn’t take their actions personally. I don’t want to diminish the fact that there is pain involved when affairs happen. Only when you…

I have written and talked much about the many factors that can contribute to infidelity. However, there is one way to prevent infidelity that trumps all others. OPEN AND COURAGEOUS COMMUNICATION. The biggest problem with interpersonal relationships is that we suppress, hold back and hide our feelings, preferences and desires that we think may provoke the other person or “get us in trouble.” By observing my clients, I have discovered that conflict avoidance is one of the more common antecedents…

Infidelity is very common and a good portion of my practice consists of people coming to see me after discovering there has been an extramarital relationship. The question is why? I am going to give my best partial answer, partial because it is such a big question and I as well as other experts in the field can write volumes on this question. However, for the purpose of this brief writing, I will list these 5 IMPORTANT reasons: 1) It…

You might be surprised to hear it but the betrayed partner isn’t the only person who is hurt by infidelity. The cheater is actually in a lot of pain too. I’ve seen this over and over again in my practice helping hundreds of couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity. The partner who cheats is likely suffering from both guilt and low esteem. Watch this short video where I talk about 5 most common ways cheating robs the cheater of…

As a professor, I have been discussing the role that hormones and neurochemistry play in attraction, bonding and sexuality in my Human Sexuality class. Brendon Zietsch, a psychologist in the University of Queensland in Australia says: “Women who carry certain variants of the vasopressin receptor gene are much more likely to engage in “extra pair bonding,” the scientific euphemism for sexual infidelity.” There are many studies that confirm that oxytocin and vasopressin (hormones) are linked to partner bonding, which are…

So I saw a couple today and the husband was complaining about their lack of compatibility and their constant friction. I pointed out that most healthy relationships are full of friction and many of those relationships are comprised of partners who have very different tastes, preferences, parenting styles, etc. He complained that she was driving him crazy with all the things that she was doing. I knew intuitively that if he was able to find a way to like her;…

I hope that you find much of my writing thought provoking and profound. This article is not about being profound; it is what I hope it creatively pragmatic and suggestive of a few things you can do this week with your beloved! But hopefully a little different than the typical (which is perfectly ok) dinner with a movie experience. I hope you find one of these ideas perfect for you and your partner. Or maybe with a modification you can…

Nothing is done without thinking about it first. If you often have the thought/question- “What can I do for my partner that will make him/her smile,” then you might want to skip the rest of this short article. But for the rest of you, here is my suggestion. Have your phone notify you that it is time to spend 30 seconds thinking about what you can do for your partner today to uplift his or her energy. When would that…

I have been married 31 and a half years to the day. I just calculated that to be 11,504 days, 276,096 hours and 16,565,760 minutes. OMG- I do not know if I should have done that; I feel a little older than before I took out my iPhone calculator. The point of this is that with all that time that has gone by, I have learned a thing or two about romance even though I am sure that there is…