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Most young children have temper tantrums. Crying, screaming, lying on the floor, holding their breath, kicking and biting are common behav­iors. There is no “cure” for tantrums but to reduce the number and intensity of them, it is good to understand why they may be happening and what to do.
Sometimes children have tantrums because they:
• Are tired, hungry, not feeling well or
uncomfortable
• Are frustrated and want to do things
for themselves
• Do not have a regular routine
• Are expected to do more than what
they are capable of doing
Things you can try with a toddler to reduce tantrums:
• Watch for signs that your child is
feeling tired, hungry or needs a
break and don’t expect him to tell
you with words what is wrong.
• Provide consistent nap times and a
light snack or a meal when you see
that he feels hungry.
• Follow periods of lots of activity with
quiet activities such as reading a
book or taking a bath.
• Find out if your expectations of your
child are too high or too low.
• Consider planning personal or
household activities around your
child’s routines.
• Before asking him to stop one activ-
ity to start another, give a few min-
utes warning to help him get ready
to change the activity.
Things you can try with a preschool­er to reduce tantrums:
• Keep your child’s needs in mind.
Choose to go out when it is not meal
time, nap time or when he is sick.
• “Practice” at home before going out
and talk to him about what to expect.
• Make sure to take with you healthy
snacks and drinks, favorite books
and toys and a change of clothes for
spills and accidents.
Prepare yourself:
• Make sure you balance taking care of
business and interacting positively
with your child.
• Some experts suggest that parents
not reward children for “good”
behavior on outings because they
believe that having a pleasant time
is its own reward and that rewards
can lead to frustration. Choose your
“reward policy” and be ready to stick
with it!
When a Tantrum Happens:
• Try to remain calm even though this
may be really difficult.
• Try to identify what you think he is
feeling. For example, “It’s frustrating
when the toy doesn’t work.” This
helps him understand what he is
feeling and may give him words to
use to express feelings better.
• Redirect his attention to something
else. For example, if he is upset
because he can’t climb on the
cabinets, find a safe place to practice
climbing such as on a large stack of
pillows.
• There may be times when, after
trying different things, he is still
upset and needs to release frustra-
tion. You may choose to give
your child some space to help calm
down and by saying, “l can see that
you are mad. I’m going to leave you
alone until you calm down.”
• When giving him some space, stay
close so that he can see and hear you
to reduce any fear he may have.
• Depending on your child’s personali-
ty, you may need to hold, talk,
distract or leave him alone until he is
ready to interact on his own.
• Being out of control can feel very
scary. Once he starts to calm down,
offer to comfort him but wait if he is
not ready to be comforted.
Remember!
• One of the ways children learn to
manage strong emotions is by watch-
ing you manage yours.
• Young children are learning to man-
age emotions and a tantrum is a way
of communicating feelings.
• Typically, tantrums will decrease as
he learns more words and coping
skills.

Most young children have temper tantrums. Crying, screaming, lying on the floor, holding their breath, kicking and biting are common behav­iors. There is no “cure” for tantrums but to reduce the number and intensity of them, it is good to understand why they may be happening and what to do.
Sometimes children have tantrums because they:
• Are tired, hungry, not feeling well or
uncomfortable
• Are frustrated and want to do things
for themselves
• Do not have a regular routine
• Are expected to do more than what
they are capable of doing
Things you can try with a toddler to reduce tantrums:
• Watch for signs that your child is
feeling tired, hungry or needs a
break and don’t expect him to tell
you with words what is wrong.
• Provide consistent nap times and a
light snack or a meal when you see
that he feels hungry.
• Follow periods of lots of activity with
quiet activities such as reading a
book or taking a bath.
• Find out if your expectations of your
child are too high or too low.
• Consider planning personal or
household activities around your
child’s routines.
• Before asking him to stop one activ-
ity to start another, give a few min-
utes warning to help him get ready
to change the activity.
Things you can try with a preschool­er to reduce tantrums:
• Keep your child’s needs in mind.
Choose to go out when it is not meal
time, nap time or when he is sick.
• “Practice” at home before going out
and talk to him about what to expect.
• Make sure to take with you healthy
snacks and drinks, favorite books
and toys and a change of clothes for
spills and accidents.
Prepare yourself:
• Make sure you balance taking care of
business and interacting positively
with your child.
• Some experts suggest that parents
not reward children for “good”
behavior on outings because they
believe that having a pleasant time
is its own reward and that rewards
can lead to frustration. Choose your
“reward policy” and be ready to stick
with it!
When a Tantrum Happens:
• Try to remain calm even though this
may be really difficult.
• Try to identify what you think he is
feeling. For example, “It’s frustrating
when the toy doesn’t work.” This
helps him understand what he is
feeling and may give him words to
use to express feelings better.
• Redirect his attention to something
else. For example, if he is upset
because he can’t climb on the
cabinets, find a safe place to practice
climbing such as on a large stack of
pillows.
• There may be times when, after
trying different things, he is still
upset and needs to release frustra-
tion. You may choose to give
your child some space to help calm
down and by saying, “l can see that
you are mad. I’m going to leave you
alone until you calm down.”
• When giving him some space, stay
close so that he can see and hear you
to reduce any fear he may have.
• Depending on your child’s personali-
ty, you may need to hold, talk,
distract or leave him alone until he is
ready to interact on his own.
• Being out of control can feel very
scary. Once he starts to calm down,
offer to comfort him but wait if he is
not ready to be comforted.
Remember!
• One of the ways children learn to
manage strong emotions is by watch-
ing you manage yours.
• Young children are learning to man-
age emotions and a tantrum is a way
of communicating feelings.
• Typically, tantrums will decrease as
he learns more words and coping
skills.