July 30, 2007

"Good family life is never an accident but always an achievement by those who share it." - - James H.S. Bossard

I'm back from my trip to Las Vegas where we celebrated my dad Fred's, eightieth birthday. The photo above may be the only one taken with us all together. We stopped talking and laughing just long enough to take a serious picture and resumed as soon as it was snapped. We're a loud family, from left to right: Les, Jason, Clara, Fred, Mel and me.

I'm the oldest of the brood, followed by Mel who lives in Las Vegas. When he lived in Kona, Mel had a machine shop and besides fabricating car and truck parts, he manufactured coffee pulpers and roasters used by many private label Kona Coffee farmers. His love of cars and racing took him to Las Vegas, he has a machine shop and is the driver on a drag-racing team.

Les lives in San Francisco and works at the Huntington Hotel, a beautiful place on Nob Hill. He loves to travel and he's a track and field fan so he's flying to Japan next month to watch a championship event.

Jason is the youngest and works in New York. I got to visit him last October and got a taste of what life is like in the "big city". I helped him learn to read before he even went to kindergarten, and he now helps me with all things web-connected. A task that doesn't end, unlike learning to read.

We all have our own families so Fred and Clara have five grandchildren and one great-grandchild as well as the bragging rights for each child. We're a strong, happy family, in my opinion. We each have our talents, likes and dislikes, strengths and idiosyncrasies, parents included. We manage somehow, to treat it all with humor. No one ever says, "just kidding", which tells you that there's a basic amount of love and trust in each verbal jab.

In the opening chapter of Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, he says, "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." There are dusty theories of birth order and sibling rivalry which for us, time and separation seem to dilute. Our intent was to celebrate, catch up with our lives and make sure our folks enjoyed themselves. Nothing stood in our way.

A way to discover intimacy with ourselves and all of life is to live with integrity, basing our lives on a vision of compassionate nonharming. When we dedicate ourselves to actions that do not hurt ourselves or others, our lives become all of a piece, a seamless garment with nothing separate or disconnected in the spiritual reality we discover.

In order to live with integrity, we must stop fragmenting and compartmentalizing our lives. Telling lies at work and then expecting great truths in meditation is nonsensical. Using our sexual energy in a way that harms ourselves or others, and then expecting to know transcendent love in another arena, is mindless.

Every aspect of our lives is connected to every other aspect of our lives. This truth is the basis for an awakened life. When we live with integrity, we further enhance intimacy with ourselves by being able to rejoice, taking active delight in our actions.

Salzberg's theme first appears to call for a reckoning for the greater good, but I look at the fragmenting she speaks of on a personal level. In many ways, we parcel out different areas of our lives as though we're returning silverware to separate compartments in a kitchen drawer. We focus upon disparity, rather than similarity.

We have to learn to have unconditional love for all of the parts of ourselves, to wear that love like a seamless garment. It would mean doing no harm to ourselves in speech, thought and action. That alone could change the world.

July 17, 2007

Question Of The Week: What can I do that isn't going to get done unless I do it, just because of who I am?-Buckminster Fuller

Nobody does it better: the way you sing Happy Birthday, scramble an egg or signal another car to go before you. We all leave our unique heartprint when we act from our center. So Bucky's question is not directed to Nobel Prize candidates alone.

Just because of who you are, your choice of action, its execution and result, will differ from anyone else on this planet.

Here are a few links to blogs and websites offering suggestions and ideas:

So What Can I Do? Karama Neal's blog lists a number of ways you can help to make the world a better place to live. Give blood, donate your time or unwanted personal items.

What Kids Can Do doesn't tell you what to do, it tells you what kids are actually doing!

Michael Moore.com in conjunction with his latest film SiCKO, shows you how to do something about the healthcare situation in this country.

Fight Global Warming by educating yourself on the issues. You can do something small and simple like changing a light bulb.

DIY, or Do it yourself. I initiated a search on Google with the words "what can I do?" and the links above came from the first two pages! You choose: help the world, help the hungry or just make those around you happy. It all begins with you, the center of your world.

July 16, 2007

Our dear
friend, Armand Singer, has made his departure, leaving his body on Thursday,
July 12. It was an arduous week for family and friends, yet one that was filled
with love and generosity.

Tuesday was my birthday and amid the
celebratory e-mails and phone calls, I learned that Armand had decided that his
body had taken enough of a beating. He wanted all medical procedures to cease.
The day then turned into a fine tuned picture of
my life. Birth contrasted with death, and a bright future, layered over
one that was dimming. I felt as though Armand was trying to tell me something by
choosing the start of my new year, to declare his last. I wrote about it the
next day in The Best Yet.

I lit the same candle that led me
through Krista's birthing process, it was a birthing of another kind, after all.
For the next two days I listened to some loud-big band-jazz as Armand listened
to the same on his iPod. I imagined him dancing.

I wrote my first Where's
Armand article in June of last year and in describing Armand said:

An Abraham-Hicks assessment on longevity recently said, "...intending
for long life assures that you must be leading the parade; people don't start
diminishing their life until they stop leading and start falling back into the
ranks of the parade, trying to do what others are leading them to do."

Armand leads the parade. He sets the beat and goes for miles on end.
He's had many opportunities to stop and take on a pedestrian role, but appears
to pause for only a few minutes while he picks out a new beat and route.

As a new week unveils, I feel as though Armand has once again picked
up the beat and drawn a new route. Memorials are being planned and stories are
being told. Those of us who stood on the sidelines and watched him traipse
through life, are sensing the beat. If we can fall into the rhythm, pick-up the
pace and move forward with half the passion and vigor of Armand Singer, our
lives, and the lives of those around us, would be so much richer. Imagine
multitudes of people, leading their own parades yet holding high, banners that
read "Where's Armand?"

He's somewhere way ahead waiting for us to pick up the beat. Snapping
his fingers as he sings, "It don't mean a thing, if you ain't got the swing..."

In his memory, play this song: It Don't Mean a Thing, a film clip of Duke Ellington and his
Orchestra in 1943 (02:44). This is the kind of music that turned Armand on! He'd
stop talking and start dancing.

July 11, 2007

I was reading one of my favorite blogs yesterday, Senia.com, in which she referred to the Most, Best, First Game. The object of the game is "to savor and find those items that are the 'most, best, first' experiences for you. Aim for one per day." You can play it anywhere, anytime, alone or with a number of people. It sounded so happy, light and free. I made a mental note to try it.

It was early (5:30am) and it was also my birthday. Gradually, birthday messages began to appear via e-mail and then the phone calls began. I also made calls to people I know, who share the same birthday. A very sunny day was dawning in Kona.

Then I got a call from West Virginia to inform me that my dear Armand Singer had decided to "tap out". He's been in the hospital for 5 weeks now in the bravest battle of, and for, his life. Yesterday, he decided that he had had enough. Once I recovered from the reality of his decision, I began to feel as though he had given me a very special birthday present. It felt as though he was handing me something precious to take care of.

Throughout the day, I noticed so many things that qualified as the Most, Best and First. I had run out of candles to light for Armand and made a note to stop at the store for more. Then the First birthday gift of the day were candles from my dear neighbor. Later, I had the Best massage ever from Moku (and his massages are always good), the Most delicious brownies from Krista. More gifts and phone calls poured in.

I taught a yoga class at 6pm and felt so energized from my massage that I decided that we'd go through the entire Mother Sequence. When we were done, a young man in the front row said, "This was the Best class yet!" Then I went home to find an arrangement of gifts on my kitchen counter (each item representing something about me), along with a dinner invitation. After a late night dinner in town, I could only say one thing, "This is the Best birthday I've ever had!"

I found myself playing the flip sides (Joy and Sadness) to Life's long-playing album all day, but Joy was the song that played the loudest and longest.

Thank you to all of you who participated in my Most, Best, First Game!

July 10, 2007

A fully accredited, seventeen (17) hour course for licensed massage therapists and/or massage students will begin this month at Kona Yoga (MAE #1802) taught by Geno Ortiz, twice a member of the Olympic Games massage team and founder of Muscular Massage. Moku-wai Busch and I are both products of Geno's massage instruction and heartily support his courses.

Call Geno at 960-9567 for schedule and tuition information. ---------------------------- I will be off island from July 22-27 in celebration of my dad's 80th birthday. My classes on Tuesday (7/24), Wednesday (7/25) and Friday (7/27) have been cancelled.--------------- ---------- The next Beginning Yoga series of six (6) classes begins on Tuesday, August 7 at 6pm. I have a couple of paid registrations and the class is limited to 12 people so please sign-up if you are interested. -------------------------------------- We are looking forward to Jehangir Palkhivala's workshop from August 9-August 12. We anticipate full participation (20 maximum) so please register as soon as possible.

July 09, 2007

"Ultimately, the only power to which man should aspire is that which he exercises over himself." -Elie Weisel

Let's not talk about our weaknesses. We're well versed on the subject and may want to pay equal air time to our strengths. While most of us have an easy time listing our talents and abilities ( e.g., good cook, fast swimmer, master gardener, great singer or math whiz) our personality strengths are not as readily defined.

Research has shown that focusing on your strengths is more productive than trying to identify and fix your weaknesses and problems. You don't have to feel ashamed or guilty about your strengths, the old win-win perspective. As well, you've heard how focusing on something just keeps bringing you more of the same. Positive or negative, weakness or strength.

The top five strengths associated with higher levels of happiness are:

Gratitude

Optimism

Zest and energy

Curiosity

The ability to love and be loved

If this doesn't match your top five list, it's okay. Focus on your own strengths and keep these five in mind, they'll slowly become a part of your life.

If you have some time, take the VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire. You'll have to register first so that your answers may become part of the on-going research on happiness. There are 240 questions and you'll receive an ordered list of your personality strengths at the end of the test. It takes more time than the self-rating scale (but it's more accurate) and probably less time than surveying your friends and family.

I took the 240 question test and came up with the following top five:

Gratitude

Optimism

Curiosity

Social Intelligence

Spirituality

If curiosity is not one of your strengths, you may not care to answer any of the questionnaires. You could just focus on the top five strengths that lead to happiness. As for me, I'll see if I can pump up my kapha personality to add more zest and energy while I learn to be more loving and loveable!

July 02, 2007

Happy the man whose lot it is to knowThe secrets of the earth. He hastens notTo work his fellows hurt by unjust deeds,But with rapt admiration contemplatesImmortal Nature's ageless harmony,And how and when the order came to be. - -Euripides (480-405 B.C.)

I am blessed to be in a yoga workshop for a consecutive weekend. This time the teacher is Aadil Palkhivala. The first time I attended one of his workshops, I had been attending weekly yoga classes for just a few months. Everything he said then, absorbed me. Nearly eighteen years later, his talks still absorb me.

Aadil pointed out that "one salient point of an intermediate yoga student is a constant awareness of the impact their presence has on the environment." The environment includes other beings as well as the earth.

"All their thoughts, words and actions are of value, or at least of care," Aadil continued. He gave us an example of the way we leave our shoes or sandals at the door of the yoga studio. While their placement may not be of utmost value, we should care for the safety and ease of those who come after us. Will they be inconvenienced or in danger because of our presence?

While the end result (constant awareness of our impact on the environment) beckons us toward an ideal, it is the intention of our actions that Aadil underscored. It is not about the tons of plastic bottles that you recycle or the barrels of oil you save with your hybrid car. It's about "the stuff that you do when no one is watching."

This practice embodies the true concept of saucha. "The most common translation of saucha is cleanliness. But saucha, at its root, is concerned with keeping different energies distinct. Saucha ensures and protects the sanctity of the energy around us." (1)

Aadil's brilliance as a teacher is that he is able to teach multiple levels of truth couched within each lesson. Like a set of Russian nesting dolls, each lesson contains another, and another, and another. How could I not be absorbed?