Friends may be problematic but here's why it's not going away

There's a lot of criticism about the TV show Friends. It had flaws, particularly around minority representation. There were no significant gay or trans characters except for Chandler's dad, who was ambiguously one or the other and typically only mentioned for a laugh. There were no significant black characters, except for Charlie, who was a one-season love interest for Ross and then briefly for Joey, and the value of her character as black representation is questionable. Ross and Monica, one third of the main characters, were Jewish, but that was only ever mentioned to serve a punchline. The most exotic accent any significant character had was British.

Here's the thing, though. Friends was the show every grown up watched when I was coming of age. And past seasons were syndicated on local broadcast stations in the afternoon, so catching up on the earlier episodes that aired before I got into it basically took zero effort. And it really was quite funny.

When I rewatch the show today, the comedy holds up. Sure, the male characters can be a little homophobic sometimes, but that's how guys were in the 90s, and it's not like most of the jokes are drawn from that. And minority representation is basically non-existent, but that doesn't stop me from laughing.

Most importantly, the characters feel like personal friends I've known for twenty years. The blossoming relationships, proposals, breakups, fights, births, deaths, and memorable comedic situations feel like they happened in my real-life circle of friends, and I'm sure I'm far from the only viewer to feel that way. Watching the reruns is like reminiscing with real friends about the times that brought us close: the good, the bad, and the outrageously funny.

Goddamnit I'm crying from writing this. You can point out its flaws, but this show means a lot to a lot of people, and you're never going to convince us the bad outweighs the good.

My vague understanding is that it's like ASIP but less disgusting and outright - or differently? - frank (?) about how awful its cast is, and far more traditionally sitcom-y in terms of appeal. Or something like that.

My vague understanding is that it's like ASIP but less disgusting and outright - or differently? - frank (?) about how awful its cast is, and far more traditionally sitcom-y in terms of appeal. Or something like that.

Real talk: I was never that big a fan of Friends because I didn't watch much "grown-up" TV back when it was airing, but I've seen quite a few reruns in syndication and I can see why the people who grew up with it would be fond of it. Phoebe was always my favorite.

My vague understanding is that it's like ASIP but less disgusting and outright - or differently? - frank (?) about how awful its cast is, and far more traditionally sitcom-y in terms of appeal. Or something like that.

Oh yeah, forgot about Carol and Susan. Okay, a pair of minor characters who were gay from episode one, and that was "progressive" for TV when the show started. My bad...

I always liked Phoebe, too. Also, I wanted to get all the laugh lines like Chandler and didn't realize then that most of the time all the laughing came from the other side of the fourth wall, and the other characters didn't often show appreciation of his wit.

My vague understanding is that it's like ASIP but less disgusting and outright - or differently? - frank (?) about how awful its cast is, and far more traditionally sitcom-y in terms of appeal. Or something like that.

I'm pretty sure you're thinking of Seinfeld.

Yeah I mean the Friends cast had individual douchebag moments but for the most part they were okay people. It was really just Ross who was always a shithead.

"Less displeasing if harder to watch" is a good way of describing it, honestly. Seinfeld kind of leads you on with an initial sense of normalcy, but ends up blindsiding you with a whole cast of assholes in a way that you're not entirely sure how much the writers realize they've written assholes instead of weird and quirky.