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I have HSV2 and have been with the same partner for 10 years. Except for the first three years I rarely get an outbreak and do not take meds for it. Recently I started dating again and have questions about transmission to a new partner. We have kissed, and I have given him oral. A few weeks after, he got cold and flu symptoms and I got 2 very painful genital outbreaks that were comparable to when I was first diagnosed with HSV2. I was not particularly stressed at the time of the outbreaks. We discussed that I have HSV2. My previous partner has never had an outbreak or shown any symptoms and I gave him oral frequently. Is it possible then for me to spread my herpes to a new partner simply by kissing them on the mouth or giving them oral? Thanks in advance....

So recently I decided to try having a FWB, really a one time fling, a little over one month ago. He also has HSV 2 genitally and that's all that I know of, well what he told me. Long story short, I'm concerned that by both of us having HSV, we're more at risk of contracting HIV. Three times as likely I believe. I'm not sure how many people he’s been with since his diagnosis and it's really getting to me. I thought of that before we had sex, but I tried to push that out of my mind. As long as we’re being safe, I would be okay right?
So, the day of... We kissed and then proceeded to remove clothing, where we began to start rubbing our genitals against one another. It got to a point where the tip of his penis was right outside the opening of my vagina for a second, nearly pushing through. I panicked a little and told him to stop and use a condom. We had sex, and in between, he gave me oral a couple times. So that was that. We kissed, he gave me oral and had sex in our one and only session.
My concern is the few seconds of genital to genital rubbing and close penetration. Would I be at risk for HIV transmission? He didn’t actually insert his penis into my vagina, but it was really close to doing so. Imagine pressing on a balloon with your index finger and not popping it. Weird example, but I think that's the only way I can describe it.
I've tried asking him about it (before and after) and like most people, he got offend that I even asked. So that was a fail.
I've also tried to research all of this with no luck since we have HSV2.

I was told that people with HSV-2 can't have children and even if they do their child is born with serve birth defects, mental retardation or learning disabilites. And that valtrax causes those problems as well as the virus. So what is the actual truth??? AND DON'T LIE TO ME.