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In 2008, I needed to start this blog. Because someone (and that someone was going to have to be me) needed to speak about the truth. Someone needed to tell the truth, no matter how blunt, how painful or how terrifying that would be. Read more »

Drugs Sex and Rock and Roll

Don’t know if this post is going to have anything to do with dating. Maybe it will maybe it won’t. Maybe this post will be a little about self discovery and getting absolutely blind drunk.

So let me set the scenario and get you guys up to speed. University organized New Zealand ski trip. 88 crazy ass young people ranging from 18-23. Skiing all day. Partying all night. Sleep is optional. For 10 days straight.

My body was hating me afterwards. Trust me.

If you guys have been wondering where I have been, well there is your answer. Got back a week and a half ago and I’m still recovering.

I was one of those that took it easy.

While it was an awesome trip. Got some great skiing in. Met some awesome people. Had some great times. N have all these photo’s emerging on face book half of which I cannot remember ever been taken. It was fun. But that also depends on your definition of fun.

Because I really do believe that you can have different classes of experiences in your life. Some experiences which feel good at the time but are bad for you in the long run. Some experiences which feel bad at the time but are good for you in the long run. Some experiences that feel good at the time and are good for you in the long run. That last one are known as class 1 experiences.

N these I believe are the best experiences in the world.

So what I’m trying to get at, is that partying, drinking and being wild and crazy on trips like these, may feel good at the time. But they are not good for you in the long term. N they don’t really contribute to you overall feeling good about yourself.

Here is one thing that I realized while I was one that trip. This is a trip where peer pressure is its greatest. N the bad thing is, is that you don’t even realize that it is there. But you think about it. 10 days. 88 people. 24/7. You are eating, living and sleeping together. I mean the only down time is when you get your own cubicle to pee!

So its like, in this time. Whatever the rules are, whatever is held to be most popular and most liked is what everyone strives to achieve.

What were the rules in New Zealand with this group of people? Well the more stupid things you do the more you will be liked. Get absolutely plastered and that puts you on the board. Go jump in the freezing lake and almost get hypothermia and that’s another 10 points. Dance on the bar without your top on and that’s like 20 points. Go do some dangerous and there is more bonus points. If you actually break something while skiing – what that’s like the ultimate. Go bungee jumping, skydiving and come as close to death as you possibly can and you almost there. But wait. The more your health deteriorates the better. You can have ” who spewed the most” competitions later. You will be the talk of the town if you didn’t come home one night, the more hangover the next day the more respected you will be.

I mean it sounds ridiculous doesn’t it?

But then that made me think. Isn’t the whole popular youth culture about this anyway? I mean everything that is bad for you is celebrated. Drugs, sex, alcohol and rock and roll. There is like this whole wave of doing all that crazy stuff, just so you can be cool.

Its like keeping up with the Jones’s ….. but to do that you have to be crazy, slutty, on drugs and alcohol. Is there anyone else that finds that really stupid? Is there anyone that finds that ridiculous?

SO here is what I discovered on my wild week.

Its not worth it

and

It won’t make you happy.

And finally I made the decision that I no longer wanted to be a part of that. Because the price of that is too high. Because maybe these people while they are young can live their lives like that. But to me, that would be sacrificing who I am, what I’m about and what I believe in, just so that temporarily I can feel more like I fit in, or am loved, accepted or whatever.

N what I found is that I would prefer to be alone and be myself. Then be someone I’m not and be surrounded by many. Not like I’m saying those are the only two options. But if those were my only 2, then I would choose the first.

Because at the end of the day you are the only one that can make you like you are worthy, deserving and loved.

Its not the people around you that make you feel that. Its all YOU making the decision to feel like that. So at the end of the day, the person that determines your happiness and your self worth and acceptance is you and only you.

Forget your environment, forget the people and the social situations around you … because none of them matter.

SO what did I learn from my whole experience?

Well I think that this one, is going to last me a lifetime. I can say, “yes this is something I had the guts to do, but now its time for some different experiences.”

I also want to make the commitment to experience class 1 experiences. I have had a couple of experiences like that in my life and they have been Euphoric. The feeling is almost undesirable. You feel like you are on top of the world and that nothing can stop you. The belief you have within yourself is unlimited.

You know all my class 1 experiences have been while I was completely sober. Doing things that meant a lot to me. N funnily enough a lot of them have been at personal development seminars. Where I have made breakthroughs.

One was where I walked across fire.

The other was where I conquered my fear of public speaking, by jumping up on my chair in a group of 500 people and asking to get the microphone.

These have been some of the scariest moments in my life. N breaking through those fears unleashes a certain power and spark within you. From now on .. I’m all about class 1 experiences.

Drugs sex and rock and roll … Has had its days with me.

N while that may not make me the coolest chick in some people’s eyes … who gives a crap.

Because I’ve discovered that the only way you can really be happy is to live life by your OWN expectations.

1 Comment

1

Michael

Posted January 22, 2013 at 10:16 pm

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