"It's Literally a Romp Plus Lyncanthropy."

Happy almost Halloween, everyone! It's that time of year, where people like to indulge in pumpkin spice lattes, apple picking, and watching spooooky movies. So we decided to give you a couple of spoooky drinking games to try on for size.

Or at least that was the idea, but then this 80's classic caught our eye. "Teen Wolf" has received a resurgance in popularity since the television adaptation, which is now in its third season, hit the airwaves. I can't speak for the quality of the TV show; I've never seen it (I know, for shame), but I'm not sure it can top this cult hit. This movie taught us that you should always stay true to yourself, because people will accept you...as long as you're good at organized sports. And if you get turned down constantly by the pretty popular girl, don't worry! Your childhood friend is there as a back-up. And make sure to avoid dangerous stunts unless you have the strength that only the full moon can bring you.

Yeah. This is a weird one. How did it slip past my radar for this long?

A Movie for Masochists

I watched Burt Wonderstone for the first time last week. Afterwards, I felt more sad than I should have after watching a Steve Carell comedy. My heart sank into my shoes, because I felt as though I witnessed the death of several careers in the course of an hour and a half.

This is the fault of none of the actors involved in this movie. There's a lot of talent present here, seasoned veterans who have been making us laugh for decades. Many of the jokes land perfectly on their feet. The pacing is perfect, the cinematography is glitzy and colorful. This movie had every chance to succeed.

What kills this movie is the fact that it does not listen to the very message it is giving the audience. Burt Wonderstone is about artistic integrity, keeping your passions alive, and avoiding the easy way to popularity. And these themes are presented in the most formulaic, trite, soulless package released in theaters in years.

A damn shame is what this movie is. I know very few people who ever saw it. We unlucky few can never forget it.

Let the Gay Times Roll

This show is silly.

Already, it's got the fact that it's a 90's sitcom (a LATE 90's sitcom) as a strike against it. The dialogue is comprised mostly of puns, pop culture references and not-so-subtle innuenedo. Three-quarters of the cast are trained in musical theater, and they DO NOT let you forget it. It's a silly, silly show.

It's also very important.

Hold up, a sitcom, important? Yes, dear readers, Will and Grace paved the way for many TV comedies that we know and love today. It didn't do so by turning the sitcom as a form of storytelling on its head. It didn't do so with particularly deep characters or clever writing. It did so by being there, and being queer so people could get used to it. Its mere presence set the stage for more well-written gay characters on television in the future.

Yes, it's as campy as Tim Curry in fishnets. But it's good camp. And MAN, is it fun to drink to.

All I Can Hear is Tired Groaning

I love Doctor Seuss. The man got kids' stories right. He stretched the imagination, made it okay to rhyme real words with imaginary ones, and talked about grown-up issues in a way kids could understand. He was okay in my book.

That's why I consider this movie to be a piss-poor adaptation of his book about a loveable elephant who hears voice nobody else can. Horton Hears a Who! is crammed to the brim with action and movement, often becoming a loud and chaotic mess that takes no time to reflect on itself. It highlights the weirdness of the situation in a way that comes off more glib than clever. Most of all, it lacks sincerity. The movie's greatest crime is that it could not resist telling the story without poking fun at it, almost behind its back.

So why did we make a drinking game for this shlock? Because, as I've pointed out before, boring predictability is the number one ingredient to a fantastic drinking game.