'Twas the month before Christmas and all through the mallseverything was ‘bout Christmas, no escaping at all.The songs all about yuletide, and then on FOX news,all the nut-jobs pretending there ain’t any Jews.

This country we know it’s a really big stewof Muslims, and pagans, and atheists too.But O’Reilly and Rush, not to mention Sir Hannityare all trying to deny these good folks their humanity.

If you eat latkes, and liver, and kosher dill gherkins,You are second class citizens, not real “Amurkans.”We’re told “shut your hole,” if your season’s not elfish,as these kinds of “Christians” are really quite selfish.

Don’t say “Happy Holidays” if you work in a store,it’s “Merry Christmas” alone or they’ll declare war.“We’re under siege!” they cry through their crocodile tears“They’re trying to outlaw our holiday cheer!”

You can spot real Christians from those in wolves’ clothingThey’re the ones preaching love, not hatred and loathing.But the Pharisees think it's only they who should count,Truth be told, they should read what was said on the mount.

So Buddhists and Hindus and Hopi and Sioux,the message is clear that is sent unto you.When the tips of the branches get covered in frostThis country is theirs, time for you to get lost.

Those who believe that to keep of our brothermeans to actually love and respect one another.So when you are asked, “What would Jesus do?”Answer them, “Welcome ones different from you.”

In conclusion, oh gasp, we guess we should say,that Comet and Cupid are openly gay.In this season of peace with the ground covered white,Happy Holidays to ALL and to ALL a good night.