AmberCon Northwest 2003 Quotes

Slot
1

"Cast a Long Shadow" by Dan Christensen, Ameer Tavakoli and Todd
Worrell

8 hours.... Much can change in 8 hours.

Everything is going great for Amber since the victory over Chaos 100 years
ago. The Courts are a distant friend now, Shadow is stable and all the
elders are gathering for the 100th year victory party. Even Thelbane has
sent well wishers. All is good and well for Amber but that is going to
change in 8 hours.

Cast of Characters

Ptah-hotep, Assistant
Chief Priest for the Rituals to Guard the Building of the Tomb

Kris Fazzari:

Thothmes, Chief Scribe to
the Chief Builder (of the pyramid)

Michael Kucharski:

Thomas Haggerty,
non-affluent student at a school in Chicago

Leslie Lightfoot:

Tefnut-Hosi, Sihathor's favorite
daughter

Emma Sansone:

Rebecca Scheffler,
non-affluent student at a school in Chicago

Ann Sasahara:

Nicole Schliemann, skilled
antiquer

Murray Writtle:

Sihathor, skilled
stonemason working on the Horizon of Khufu (the pyramid)

"I'm getting the goat this time, Father." -- Tefnut-Hosi to Sihathor

"You realize that your fiancé is standing in front of you, only
now he's an 80-year-old man." -- GM
"Hmmm, I think the wedding's off." -- Nicole

"We're a bunch of ancient Egyptians in a time-traveling space ship, I
think we're OK." -- Tefnut-Hosi to the group

"In Distant Avalon, Corwin Lies Dreaming" by Thaddeus Rice

After Patternfall, the elders of Amber thought all would return to its
glorious norm. They were so wrong.... Grey skies, rain and thunder fill
the days, and violent storms wrack the nights. Dark secrets brought forth
during Patternfall now fester and rot in the open. The war may be over but
for the victors the aftermath could be worse. Gritty, gothic game where the
elders cannot sweep their past indescretions under the rug with a smirk.

Cast of Characters

Carrie Bailey:

?

Andi Blija:

?

Simone Cooper:

?

Guy Gascoigne-Piggford:

?

Robert Haight:

?

Cindy Henderson:

?

Eric Sanders:

Caine

Vrin Thomas:

?

"It felt like a brother; he was chasing me through Shadow and trying to
kill me." -- Caine to ?

"The Lion In Winter" by Eric Todd

King Oberon has declared this year's Winter Court, and the entire noble
family will be in residence for the duration of the festival. Even Queen
Clarissa, in her third year of imprisonment, will attend this noble
celebration of duty, honor and familial love. Perhaps some of the previous
winter's indiscretions have been forgiven by your beneficent King?

"You promised me she wouldn't be hurt." -- Rilga
"I promise a lot of people a lot of things." -- Oberon

Slot
2

"The Alchemy of Reality" by Jennifer Crice

It is a summer like any other. The midsummer festival is approaching, and
scouts have reported that the Ways are opening on schedule. You pack up a
few belongings, perhaps some goods to trade, and prepare for a week of food,
drink, dancing, trading, and visiting with the people of lands barred to you
during all other times of the year. In this place of gathering and
goodwill, an accident will put into motion a desperate adventure for those
who are left standing.

Cast of Characters

Stephen Acton:

Erik of
Vesper

Amber Cook:

Lucy of Dunsan

Kris Fazzari:

Krysanthe of Parrys, Ranger

Alex Karls:

Xian of Delios

Harry Mills:

Geraint of Parad, Truthsayer

John Worsley:

Bashari of Adzgar, Monitor

"(Heerat) must be a grand land to produce men such as you." -- Erik
*grunt* - tall blond man
"Talkative, too." -- Kris Fazzari

"The horse looks interested." -- GM to Erik
*the rest of the room breaks into snickers*

"I'm sure I'll pose some sort of question to (the Priests of the One as I
go by), pointing out some flaw in their tenets." -- Erik to GM
"A drive-by blaspheming?" -- Kris Fazzari

"You get an image of giving the raven some corn." -- GM
"I need some corn." -- Xian to Bashari
"You get an image of giving the raven a lot of corn." -- GM
"I need a lot of corn." -- Xian to Bashari
"You have been mentally dominated by a bird. Do not drink and use magic."
-- GM

"There's a page on the desk." -- GM to Xian
"Well get him off, they're not allowed to sleep on the job." -- Kris
Fazzari

"Are you a fast runner?" -- Xian to Bashari, eyeing the crown that they
need to take, which is on the head of a king surrounded by a cheering
crowd

"Berkeley" by Madeline Ferwerda

"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We
don't believe this to be a coincidence."

- Jeremy S. Anderson

Berkeley! Home of some of the strangest people in this Shadow, as well you
know. You're just trying to get on with your plots in comfortable secrecy,
but with reports of regeneration labs getting smashed, dogs the size of
Volkswagens, and *giant green men*?! Sounds like things are a mite stranger
than usual.

Coincidence?

Cast of Characters

Cort Odekirk:

Gail

Robert Haight:

Merlin

Melissa Kocher:

Betty Ross

Lisa Luxton:

Julia

Lee Short:

Kolya

Todd Worrell:

Luke

"Can I bind the mailer daemon?" -- Gail the Ty'iga to ?

"You wouldn't want to see (the Hulk) naked...well, maybe you would...."
-- GM to Cort Odekirk

"You must help him!" -- Betty Ross, pleading for Bruce Banner's life
"I throw Frakir at him with orders to strangle." -- Merlin
"So, help as in 'kill'." -- Cort Odekirk

"What is it with the men you date?" -- Luke
"I need the old ones to help me defeat the current ones." -- Betty Ross

"I'm attracted to the wierd; it's not so much attracted to me." -- Betty
Ross to ?
"So you go for the tall, dark, repressed bastard type?" -- GM

"To Last Forever" by John Nienart and Ann Sasahara

Not to hope for things to last forever, is what the year teaches and even
the hour which snatches the nurturing day away.

100 years after Patternfall. Julian is fallen. And now?

Cast of Characters

Simone Cooper:

Random

Penny Feltham:

?

Ian Goodwin:

?

Thaddeus Rice:

Mandor

Ann Sasahara:

?

Eric Todd:

Benedict

Karen Wells:

?

Jeremy Zimmerman:

Corwin

"(Bleys) does exactly as much as you can have Ian do." -- GM John
"So, nothing." -- Random

"I'll ask Fiona to escort Mandor somplace where he can have a private
talk with the GM." -- Simone Cooper to ?
"Are you asking me to leave?" -- Mandor
"No, I was asking Fiona. If I was asking you I'd say, 'Mandor, please
leave.'" -- Random

"Luke and Merle 4: Merlin's New Funk" by Jeremy J. Zimmerman, Esq.

Corwin's kid has finally done it: Merlin "Merle" Corey has become King of
Chaos. Since then he's become a self-centered prig. Well, more than usual.
He's broken away from Blüd of Ambyr, the band he formed with former
partner-in-crime Lucas R. Reynard, Esq., claiming something about a "solo
career." Luke, on the verge of trying to redefine the band's sound by
inviting in alto-sax-playing Martin (you know, Random's kid), has decided
that there's only one last chance he might have to restore Blüd of
Ambyr. It just happens to involve phone booths.

Cast of Characters

Dana Bayer:

Abraham
Lincoln

Jennifer Crice:

Lady Macbeth

Madeline Ferwerda:

Doc Holliday

Pol Jackson:

Buddy Holly

Cort Odekirk:

Optimus Prime

Kirgan Peacock:

Death (a la Piers
Anthony)

"Where are you when the phone booth hits?" -- GM
"Driving along, listening to death metal...." -- Death
"Ooooh." -- everyone, groaning
"The gauntlet has been thrown." -- Madeline Ferwerda
"Jeremy will descend to whatever level you choose." -- Cort Odekirk to
Kirgan Peacock

O Dark! thou awful, sweet, and holy Dark!
In thy solemn spaces, beyond the human eye,
God fashioned His universe; laid the foundations of the earth,
Laid the measure thereof, and stretched the line upon it;
Shut up the sea with doors, and made the glory
Of the clouds a covering for it;
Commanded His morning, and, behold! chaos fled
Before the uplifted face of the sun;
Divided a water-course for the overflowing of waters;
Sent rain upon the earth -
Upon the wilderness
Wherein there was no man,
Upon the desert
Where grew no tender herb,
And, lo! there was greenness upon the plains,
And the hills were clothed with beauty!
Out of the uncharted, unthinkable dark we came,
And in a little time we shall return again
Into the vast, unanswering dark.
- Helen Keller, "A Chant to Darkness"

"So they just set them loose in the city, and they eat us out of house
and home...quite literally." -- Giles to ?, regarding the cute little baby
maneating demon horses

Slot
5

"Escape from Cabra" by Andy Blija and Jeremy Franklin

"The Princes of Amber have been found GUILTY," it said, "found GUILTY of the
crimes of High Treason against the Crown and Lord Oberon, King of Amber."
The notices were everywhere this morning. You think it's still
today.

You had thought that one of your brothers might have been responsible, or it
was just that someone was playing a trick - but Oberon was serious. Now
you, all of you, are trapped in this hole of a place, this hell Father had
especially crafted for the likes of you. It'll take time...and some
luck...to get out of here, but when you do, that vile old bastard is going
to suffer.

Cast of Characters

"This land is my land, this land is my land, this land is my land..." --
Caine, shopping for some real estate - sung to the tune of "This Land is My
Land"
"...and I'll soil your daughter..." -- GM Jeremy

"You are being sucked." -- GM Andy to ?
"And not in a good way." -- Cort Odekirk

"Out of the Frying Pan" by Sara Mueller and Cindy Henderson

King Eric of Amber lies wasting away in a coma in the infirmary of Castle
Amber, maimed by the Jewel of Judgement. There is little hope for his
recovery. Benedict has been hastily installed as Regent.

Princess Valentine of Eregnor's engagement has been announced to Prince Luke
of Kashfa. Begma is screaming bloody murder. Bleys has tried to prevent
the union, but neither Kashfa nor Eregnor are interested in listening to
Amber at the present time. Queen Jasra has gained the port that Kashfa has
coveted for generations as part of Valentine's dowry, and on Queen Camille
of Eregnor's death, the country will pass to Prince Luke and Princess
Valentine. You're all invited to the wedding. Benedict has 'suggested'
that you attend. Lucky you.

"I can spill blood...preferably other people's, but mine in a pinch." --
Alaric to ?

"The survival of the universe depends on how much brandy the three of us
can drink." -- Unk to ?

"Now we're just waiting to find out if we're going to go do Moire, or do
crack." -- Carrie Bailey
*look* -- Madeline Ferwerda
"Galactic crack." -- Carrie Bailey, explaining further
[The next thing to fix to save the universe.]

"Now, you're all still there..." -- GM Sara, just after a painful Jewel
thing that involved everyone
"Are we all attuned to the Jewel now?" -- Madeline Ferwerda
"...No." -- GM Sara
"But it was a good try!" -- GM Cindy

"I might have been OK if they hadn't drained all the alcohol out of my
system. I had, like, 4,000 calories..." -- Trey to ?

"Last year, they chose to pick up the whole Logrus, and move it to
Tir...." -- GM Sara, explaining how the previous group through the game
solved a problem
"Seemed like a good idea at the time...." -- GM Cindy

"But poisoning the scotch! That's just not right!" -- Richard
Johnson
"No, it wasn't that -- scotch was the antidote!" -- GM Sara

"Vessels of Power" by Emma Sansone and Murray Writtle

Life at Court, whether in Amber or in Chaos, has made you no strangers to
the machinations that surround the thrones. You are a little too far from
either to be personally affected if you do not wish to be involved, and you
may not care for the game personally, but you have witnessed the inevitable
power games. Now, your kinsman and friend Merlin is edging ever closer to
the inner circles. He was something over one hundredth in line for the
Throne of Chaos, but King Swayvill's closer relatives have started dying,
even as the king lies close to death himself. This puts Merlin in a
dangerous position - or it makes him a better player of the game of power
than you suspected. Something has changed him, for sure. He has put aside
Frakir, and he wears a device called a Spikard. What all this means to
you...well, that's what the game is about.

Cast of Characters

Stephen Acton:

?

Jon Carlaw:

?

Amber Cook:

?

Simone Cooper:

Martin

Katherine Nyborg:

?

Andy Ransom:

?

John Worsley:

?

Jeremy Zimmerman:

Sedgewick

"Any lonely women?" -- Martin in a bar
"If you can call them women. They're all students at Berkley." -- GM
Emma

"A huge surge of close off." -- GM Murray as Merlin, shutting off a Trump
call to Dara
"You take her clothes off?!" -- Martin

"I'm guessing that arguing with your mom in a girly smack-down doesn't
count as independence." -- Martin to Merlin

"You can't gloat without speaking." -- Simone Cooper to ?

"Wayward Children" by Karrin Jackson

King Random has chosen you, a group of the younger generation, to
investigate a disturbance out in Shadow. Your job is to assess the
immediate danger to Amber and, if possible, neutralize it.

Setting: Patternfall has been over for about a century. While some of the
events in the second series have taken place, let's keep in mind that Merlin
is a creative fellow who might be known to embelish the facts a bit.
Suffice to say that he's King in Chaos, and that Random has reigned
peacefully in Amber for about a hundred years. Relations between Chaos and
Amber are fairly amicable, though most of the time the two kingdoms keep to
themselves.
In the peace following Patternfall, many elder Amberites sought out their
children in Shadow and brought them home, where they could take their place
among the royalty of the One True Kingdom. Though Caine, Brand, Eric and
Deirdre are dead, any children of theirs who could be found were also
brought to Amber and, to those willing to swear fealty to Amber, recognition
of their royal blood has been given.

However, with entitlement comes responsibility. Rumors have trickled into
Amber, of the dead walking and other strange phenomena that have sent
ripples throughout Shadow. The King doesn't seem terribly worried, and it
seems like a good first mission to test the loyalty of his new subjects.
After all, it's probably nothing, and just in case it isn't, you're
expendable.

"Gérard once told Thaddeus to go off and make something of
himself, so he did. Actually, Gérard was just asking him to go and
make him a sandwich." -- Susan Bloss to the group

"Fiona and Bleys have had 100 years to make up for their past misdeeds -
and they put most of it on Brand, anyway." -- GM to the group
"History is written by those who aren't tossed into the Abyss." -- Kris Fazzari

"Eric was one of those people whose reputation could only be improved by
dying." -- GM to the group

"You're willing to shoot people -- without a qualm -- but stealing their
stuff, man, that's just going too far." -- Caspian to Janelle

"Any of us could fill out the form. Whoever has the neatest writing..."
-- Edgar to the group
"That would be you." -- Madeline Ferwerda
"You probably think of this as more work than the actual breaking and
entering...." -- Amy Wood

"The people who die on the first mission are the people we don't
want on the second mission." -- Colonel to ?

"You doubt my geographic powers? You wanna doubt them out on the
street?!" -- Madeline, speaking for a professor of geography, faced with
Edgar

"The One True Gay Porno" by Cort Odekirk and Jeremy Zimmerman

Dworkin, scion of the multiverse has taken a recent interest in film-making,
and decided to combine it with his favorite multi-universal pastime,
pornography. Feeling that a certain competitive element is what is missing
in much of the mainstream material available today he has decided to combine
his new erotic masterpiece with elements of the "reality television" so
popular across the more technologically advanced Shadows.
That it would be gay porn was never in question, as it allows more
flexibility in pair ups between cast members and Dworkin never could get
excited by heterosexual encounters unless there was a horse involved.
To add a certain spontaneous edge to the piece, he has decided not to ask
the participants first, or pay any attentions to their backgrounds, interest
levels, or for that matter, sexual orientation. To survive as a child of
the Unicorn requires a certain flexibility, the ability to adapt to
circumstances and, in this case, saliva that lubricates well. They would
learn, or if not, their failures would make great cinema.
DISCLAIMER - This game will contain sexual content, more to the point, this
game will contain little *except* sexual content. Competitive sexual
content...with powers...run by GM's who's vast creative powers have been
focused solely on Evil, and in one case Winnie the Pooh. If you have
anything resembling moral fibre, decency or good taste now would be a good
time to put down this schedule, shower thoroughly and pretend this
description never happened; and for goodness sake, don't sign up for this
game.

Must have been one helluva party. You wake up in a strange place, in a
strange bed, with a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach. You look
around and see no evidence of your whiskey, your date, or your Trumps. And
to make matters worse...you're outta smokes. You wander down to the front
desk and ask for a pack of Reds. The clerk looks up at the large "No
Smoking" sign above your head, then adjusts his bifocals.

"This is working. They haven't shot at us yet." -- Archer to the
group

"Using the sword, you manage to decontaminate yourselves." -- GM to the
group

Slot
7

"Brand's Curse" by Michael Kucharski and Erik Florentz

On the 10th Anniversary of the reign of Random the 1st, the death curse
uttered by Brand as he fell into the Abyss pierced by Caine's arrows reaches
and strikes Amber.

Cast of Characters

Jennifer Crice:

?

Penny Feltham:

?

Bernie Hsiung:

?

Don Ide:

?

Alex Karls:

?

Chris Nelson:

?

Eric Sanders:

?

Irene Schwarting:

?

Vrin Thomas:

?

Jeremy Zimmerman:

?

"You know, there's a very ceremonious expression on his face as he loots
Corwin's body." -- Vrin Thomas to ?

"Clarissa Explains It All" by Lisa Luxton

Men are what their mothers made them.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Redheads. What does hair color have to do with anything, anyway? It's a
funny little squiggle in what passes for DNA when it comes to
Amberites.

A funny little squiggle the rest of Oberon's brood are absent. (Flora's
hair is a mere strawberry blonde.)

Remember how this whole thing started? The Universe as we know it? That's
right.

A funny little squiggle.

Oh, suuuure, that one's the size of a football field. But it came out of
the Jewel in the first place, and that's -- well, okay, maybe it's not
genuinely small. But compact, for sure. Think of the scale: Universe to
Pattern to Jewel-and-Dworkin's-brain.

If a normal Shadowperson's chromosomes, from every cell in their body, were
unraveled and laid out from end to end, the strands would stretch from the
Earth to the Moon six thousand times.

And that's just Shadowfolk.

Not Amberites. And certainly not redheads.

Cast of Characters

Stephen Acton:

Kaiyan, son of
Bleys

Kris Fazzari:

Melisande, daughter of
Bleys

Madeline Ferwerda:

Wickering, daughter of
Fiona

Guy Gascoigne-Piggford:

Lucius, son of
Brand

Chris Lightfoot:

Ketz, son of Fiona

"You can see that guy over there has the same thing you do, and the other
two have that other thing." -- GM to Kaiyan, referring to the Logrus and the
Pattern
"Yes, we're female." -- Wickering, dryly

"Brand is not himself right now." -- Rinaldo
"What did he do?" -- Lucius
"Fell into the Abyss." -- Rinaldo
"Oops!" -- Lucius

"So was (Brand) possessed before he went into the Abyss?" --
Lucius to ?
"Only of a bad plan..." -- Chris Lightfoot
"And an enormous ego." -- Madeline Ferwerda

"Shapeshift -- snnnork -- get rid of it." -- Ketz to ?, doing a Chaosite
sneeze and miming collecting the snot in a ball
"That's a novel way to use shapeshifting." -- Kris Fazzari

"These things have to be done, I'd just rather they were done to somebody
else." -- Wickering to GM, regarding human sacrifices

"It was the glop that my grandmother made. I didn't know what was in it,
but it was obviously sweet and non-human...." -- Wickering to GM

"Ving Rhames. Excellent. No one would ever suspect that Ving Rhames was
a child of Brand." -- Stephen Acton to ?

"Why are you bleeding?" -- Clarissa
"I was cut." -- Ketz

"(Ketz) doesn't want the carpet messed. It must be a hereditary trait."
-- Guy Gascoigne-Piggford to the group, after Ketz heals his wound

"You are making your way through the electric molasses that is one of the
centers of reality." -- GM to ?, describing walking the Pattern

"(Lucius) describe what (he) remembers (of the background of the Trump
call), but what Guy remembers is, 'Red eyes. Fuck. He's got red eyes.'" --
Guy Gascoigne-Piggford to the group

"I got a Trump call, so I shot the sofa!" -- Chris Lightfoot speaking for
Lucius
"Well, they said he was a bit disturbed." -- Madeline Ferwerda

"The thing is, if we're doing something that might destroy the Pattern by
accident, we may as well have the Jewel handy." -- Bleys to Kaiyan

"The question is, should we be taking this many bags of blood to the
Primal Pattern?" -- Kaiyan
"I don't know. How many of our heads are you planning to rip off?" --
Melisande

"I'm not insane, I'm just mean." -- Kaiyan to the group

"It's like, I don't have to be faster than everyone -- I just have to be
faster than one other person. So I'm wondering if I have a higher psyche
than one other person..." -- Wickering to ?

"Now that I don't have to watch this anymore, I turn away." -- Kaiyan, as a naked Brand starts to walk the Pattern
"Pretty soon the sparks will be high enough." -- Melisande

"I've never wanted to see sparks so much in my entire life!" -- Kaiyan to
the group, still watching a naked Brand walk the Pattern

"Instead of having the memory of how I first got laid, I had the memory
of how Corwin first got laid." -- Lucius to the group
"How was Deirdre, anyway?" -- Chris Lightfoot

"A Matter Of Time" by Michael Sullivan

For 100,000 years, life in Chaos has progressed at its own stately pace,
where fads might span decades, and vendettas centuries. Throughout all that
time, King Swayville has reigned, and no force has challenged Chaos'
supremacy.

But now the Patternfall War rages, and the long-held status quo is quickly
slipping away. Changes are coming, great or terrible -- it's just a matter
of time.

The game is one of finding opportunity in a time of calamity -- Chaos as you
know it is doomed, the only question is what will come out on the other
side, and what your position will be in that new Chaos. Assuming, of
course, that it isn't totally destroyed.

Cast of Characters

Jon Carlaw:

?

Linda Duncan:

?

Cathy Ozog:

?

Karen Wells:

?

"All right, I followed the Black Road. Now make with the toys and
candy!" -- Lenore to ?

"For all I know, the little blonde girl is just a manifestation of my
need for vindaloo." -- Ben to ?

"It's not quite an angry mob. More like an angry committee." -- GM to
?

Random
Quotes from the Con

"Paradox has brass knuckles that say PARADOX, one on each knuckle."
"But he only has four knuckles!"
"Bam!" -- Karrin Jackson, describing her "Random Role-play" gods game