Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for Disney(LOS ANGELES) — Former That ’70s Show costars Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis have been married since July of 2015, and are still going strong…despite a new In Touch cover article declaring: “It’s Over.”

That was news to them, and Kunis sarcastically read the story’s cover to her hubby on Instagram.

“Babe: what’s happening?” Kutcher asks her, looking into the camera.

“It’s over between us,” Kunis deadpans, holding up the article on her phone to the camera.

“It’s over between us?” Kutcher says, in mock concern.

“Yeah. I ‘felt suffocated,'” she says, quoting the magazine’s cover.

“You felt suffocated?!” Kutcher says. “Oh, I was just so overbearing!”

Kunis adds, “Also, I took the kids.”

“You took the kids!?” Kutcher exclaims sarcastically.

“And you had a very dark secret exposed,” his wife says.

“What was the dark secret?” he asks. When Kunis says she doesn’t know, Kutcher adds, “It must have been really dark.”

Captioning the video, Kutcher says, “I guess it’s over @intouchweekly” adding, “have fun selling magazines this week. Maybe next week my wife will be having twins. For the third time. But who’s counting.”

In reality, the couple has two children, Wyatt, four, and Dimitri, two.

The hysterical video was immediately liked by the couple’s celebrity pals, some no stranger to similar tabloid rumors. “This is amazing,” Demi Lovato replied. “#fakenews,” noted Rumor Willis.

“DAMMIT!!! I was gonna take a run at [Mila],” commented Dax Shepard, who’s married to Kristen Bell.