Which means to get to the main point of a movie, conversation or plot of a storyline. And since Hollywood has been making some awful movies that just never get to the point, I've decided to review movies and say my piece. Live Long and Prosper

Archive for March, 2011

Alrighty, I finished Kyle XY this last week, and I couldn’t have been more frustrated. I don’t really know why I got into it that much, but I did. So when they ended it the way they did I couldn’t help but be upset.

I really wanted to see Kyle ditch stupid Amanda and go with Jessi! Ugh, I really liked that Jessi/Kyle dynamic. Ah well, probably the reason it got canceled.

Starring John Cusack as Lane Meyer, “Better Off Dead” is about a teenager who has to deal with his girlfriend dumping him among family crises, homicidal paper boys, and a rival skier.

This is a silly 80’s movie that deals with the drama surrounding high school and relationships. Its so true to life even by today’s standards, and that’s why I liked it. It does date itself a few times, but c’mon, it was made over 25 years ago.

John Cusack was great in this. And that’s a real compliment coming from me, I’m not really a fan of his movies. But he played that love-sick and heart-broken turned suicidal boyfriend to a T. He’s completely obsessed with his girlfriend and when she dumps him he literally loses his will for life. That and many other antics and gags make for a great exaggeration of high school!

I found it amusing that every time he would attempt to start his suicide he would either chicken out or get thwarted by his mother. Also, while talking about the funny parts, his evil scientist little brother and homicidal neighborhood paper boy were great. The paper boy pops up in the most random scenes demanding his two dollars. The two Asian brothers who try to race Lane (John) at every red light is pretty hilarious too. But my all time favorite parts were the scenes when Lane thinks people (and Barney from “The Flintstones”) are asking his permission do date his beloved ex.

All in all, I’d say watch this one at least once. I only gave it 3 monkeys because I found it to be slow in some parts, and just too darn silly in others. It’s that extreme over the top humor that I don’t really care for, perfect example, the Van Halen burgers. Other then that, its a great 80’s cult comedy. Oh, by the way, his 67′ Camaro, WOW!

Starring Tobey Maguire as David, and Reese Witherspoon as his sister Jennifer, “Pleasantville” is about two 1990’s teenagers who find themselves in a 1950’s sitcom where their influence begins to profoundly change the complacent world.

I thought this was an odd film. The idea seemed fun, but the delivery wasn’t quite up to par. It kinda chugged along, and the whole time you’re thinking, “Well, where’s the fun part?”. It was funny watching Peter Park..I mean, Tobey Maguire in this movie. He’s such a geek, and in this one he’s a 50’s sitcom nerd. To each his own I guess.

The entire film was about sex. Two teenagers living in the sex crazed 90’s, travel to a place where hand holding was viewed as promiscuous. Jennifer (Reese Witherspoon), starts enticing boys, and every time the people of Pleasantville start doing things that she is influencing, they turn from black and white to color. So we start seeing random people, objects and places turning into color.

I just don’t know about this one. There’s really not much to it, and it was kind of boring. The best scenes in the movie were the ones with Don Knotts (Rest In Peace). So, my advice, just go watch “Blast From The Past” with Brendan Fraser.

Featuring the voices of the “Family Guy” cast, “It’s a Trap” is the last installment of the popular “Star Wars” parodies from the mind of Seth MacFarlane.

I loved this trilogy of parodies. From “Blue Harvest”, to “Something, Something, Something Dark Side”, to now “It’s a Trap”, they are hilarious. However, there are tons of jokes I just didn’t get because I’m not a Star Wars fan. In fact I’ve only seen the last half of “Return of The Jedi” and “Revenge of the Sith” (which easily was one of the worst movies I have ever seen). But even so, there are so many jokes in this movie where I couldn’t stop laughing.

In this installment, we see the addition of characters from “American Dad” and “The Cleveland Show”, which were clever crossovers. The steady flow of puns from all of these funny characters is great. There’s a classic Family Guy-esque scene in which every character in the scene gives each other the head nod signal, over and over in a big circle for what feels like 5 minutes. Very reminiscent of the times Family Guy has repeated one single action for a ridiculous amount of time.

Personally, my favorite jokes were; the bit about how 90’s rock singers end every word in the vowel “A”, and the return of one of my favorite characters, the maid.

I don’t have time to tell about every joke, and frankly I wouldn’t even do that to you. So if you’re a Family Guy fan, or just like poking fun at Star Wars (like me), give this one a try. I laughed throughout the entire movie. Did I say that already?

Starring Johnny Depp as Mort Rainey and John Turturro as John Shooter, “Secret Window” is about a writer who is accused for plagiarism by a strange man, who then starts haunting him for “justice.”

Ah yes, this is a great Johnny Depp film. He’s become my favorite actor within the last few years, and I finally just watched this one. It blends three things perfectly for me; a good thriller/mystery, great acting from Mr. Depp, and an intriguing take on a disorder that I’m learning about in Psychology, Dissociative Identity Disorder. I also enjoy watching John Turturro, so it was a real treat this one.

The movie starts out with Mort (Johnny Depp) sitting in his Jeep arguing with himself about whether or not to go into a motel room. Upon doing so, he finds his wife cheating on him. This stressor triggers a writers block (and psychosis, but we don’t know that yet) and he secludes into himself in a cabin in the woods. This film then wastes no time in getting to the good stuff. John Shooter (John Turturro) accusing Mort of stealing his story, and then proceeds to torment Mort through out the movie. I don’t want to give to much away for this one, but it gets crazy.

We find out towards the end of the film that Mort has DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), and that everything happening around him is rooted in past events. Its a pretty shocking ending, which made me like this movie even more. If a movie has a good leading role, can keep me hooked, and then end on a non cliche note, I’ll give it a good rating.

I do recommend this one. It’s a slap in the face to everyone who thinks Johnny Depp is weird, and use “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” and “Alice in Wonderland” as examples. He’s a normal guy in this movie, and he proves how good of an actor he is. I didn’t realize it was a Stephen King movie until the credits. Definitely think I should read that book now.

Starring Samuel L. Jackson as Neville Flynn, and a slew of no-namers and random comedians, “Snakes On A Plane” is about….Snakes on a plane…honestly that is all there was to it.

Okay first off, this made my day. Anyway, on to the review. It was the silliest most laughable movie I think I’ve ever seen. Just, the concept, the acting, the graphics, it made for an amusing couple of hours.

From the first scene, I was only slightly interested in the plot. I really wanted to see what we all were waiting for. Hundreds of crazy, blood thirsty snakes! So watching this whole back story as to why they got on the plane was pretty boring, even if it was only for the first 10 minutes. Though, I was surprised by Samuel Jackson in this movie. For the first time in my life, I saw a movie where he was actually color blind. He didn’t make one racist remark or get on someones case for being racist, or hate someone because they were white, as he does in every single one of his stinking movies. It was a nice change for him.

The no-namers in this movie had incredibly annoying characters. We had the Paris Hilton type rich girl, the arrogant british dude, and the OCD rapper. Oh yes, and how could we forget the horny couple who die while joining the mile high club. And joining this cast of no-namers were comedians, David Koechner and Kenan Thompson, who seemed incredibly out of place.

So when the movie finally got to the monkey, another flaw came out. The graphics were oh so horrible. The blood and wounds were just as mediocre. I mean, I know it was 2006 and all, but c’mon. But I loved the fact that, just as with all movies about snakes and sharks and even tornados, they gave the mack daddy in the movie ridiculous features. A giant boa constrictor is shown bearing rows of giant teeth, much resembling the jaws of “Jaws”. The british dude sees it coming and throws the rich girls dog at it, but then theres an “AH-HA!” moment when the constrictor wraps itself around him and kills him not 1 minute after he sacrificed the chihuahua.

All in all this movie is a decent thrill ride. I do believe the whole point of the film was to poke fun at itself anyways. So if you can get past the bad acting and cheesy snakes, this movie is alright. However, if you are like Indiana Jones (if you have ophiophobia) and the title already didn’t give you a clue, I would advise against watching this.

Starring Walter Matthau as Lt. Zachary Garber and Robert Shaw as Blue, “The Taking of Pelham One Two Three” is set in New York, when armed men hijack a subway car and demand a ransom for the passengers. Even if it’s paid, how could they get away?

Last year I saw the remake of this movie with Denzel Washington and John Travolta, and I loved the idea and the delivery, but just didn’t like the casting. So when they released the original on Netflix instant queue I was pretty excited. The same story, but with the original actors and the plot the way the original creators wanted it go.

It took me a couple minutes to get past my type cast view of Walter as one of the “Grumpier Old Men”, but after I did that I rather enjoyed it. It wasn’t anything that special, and if you want thrill, then you should probably watch the remake. But nonetheless, I actually enjoyed the original more.

It was interesting to see how many scenes were almost identical to the remake. A lot of the dialogue between Garber and the lead hijacker was pretty darn similar. And the tension build up felt the same.The major difference was the ransom amount. 1 million dollars in the 1974 version, versus 10 million in the 2009 version. Apparently 35 years makes quite the difference.

Give this one a fair shot. If you like any serious or tense movies from the mid 70’s you won’t be disappointed.