Wednesday, February 15, 2006

i've had enough

in light of recent events (i.e. the past 26 years) i've come to a decision. now don't try to talk me out of this because I've made up my mind. from this day forward i'm not going to celebrate any more holidays except birthdays. i'm sorry if you are used to receiving huge sums of money (bags of coke) from me for christmas. but look on the bright side, that sum will be doubled for your birthday!

About Me

Glesbian (n.) /GLEZ.be.un/

You need to know where Glennis shops. You must find out where Glennis eats. Glennis' opinions on life matter to you. You are a Raging Glesbian.

ASK G

You have questions I have answers, but why should you listen? In 1998 I moved to NY with $500 and 5 bags of clothes. I fought my way through the muck and grime to come out the other side triumphant. Like one of those really satisfying morning BM's, my advice will set you straight.

"Readers can send in questions and Glennis will publish her response, full of profanities, tangents, and surprisingly good advice."-Radar's Work Book Project

Write to:answermecommag@gmail.com

xG

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Glennis-isms

Clair Stare (v) - Derived from the fabulous Clair Huxtable's show-stopping stare. As powerful as any words, fist or bullets and twice as effective. "Piss slowly dripping down his leg he knew at once that his airplane hijacking attempt had, once again, been thwarted by the Clair Stare."

Out-Regis-and-Kelly (adj.) - Used to describe someone's fabulous, sparkly outrageousness. "Not sure if the girl in front of her had fallen or begun a strange, errotic dance, she chose to classify her as out-regis-and-kelly."

Out-Regis-and-Kathy-Lee (adj.) - Used to describe someone's slightly off-putting, drunken or outdated behavior. "The party took a turn for the worse when they arrived and, in truly out-regis-and-kathy-lee fashion, upper decked every bathroom in the house."

Prrrthetic (adj.) - Used to describe a pathetic action that, somehow, ends up making you look adorable. "The prrr-thetic attempt to get him back fell short when the aerial photo of his face made out of cats was overexposed."