This week, I’m on my soapbox, speaking out and freaking out. I’m owning the Scrooge thing. I think it’s the holiday stress bubbling over, not to mention, so many teams still eligible for the playoffs, it’s making me mental. So take a deep breath with me, close your eyes and imagine your favorite quarterback throwing deep, his man getting open and a glorious TD ensuing. Or give some love to your favorite defensemen with the dream of a pick six at a critical moment. Best yet, imagine Eric Decker in a Speedo. Ok, better now?

Weather or not…
There are a number of things in football that annoy me and possibly the biggest one is bad weather games. To me, playing in snow, rain or sleet is a distinct disadvantage to all players. It doesn’t show skill but rewards teams based on blind luck…passes slipping out of hands, balls popping out of receivers’ grasps or defenders sliding all over the field. I find it baffling that the NFL has chosen to have the Super Bowl this year in New Jersey’s Meadowlands, a non-dome stadium where snow is likely. A travesty! Let’s get the game back to what it should be – a battle of skilled professionals, not a side show of grown men having a snow day. Harumph!!

Touchdown! I said touchdown! That’s right..touchdown!
So last week produced a very unusual record in the NFL – the most touchdowns scored in one week, a total of 104, blowing away the previous mark of 87. Despite very frigid temperatures and crazy conditions around the country, teams scored more than ever. Why is this? A few things, mostly that offense is king. Teams that used to grind it out on defense are running no-huddle offenses and more plays per game than ever before. It’s also a throwing league, where QBs like Manning and Brees are airing it out at a record-breaking rate. All of these plays,

as we discussed weeks ago, are also contributing to more injuries than ever. But, dang, we love a good touchdown…and along with TD celebrations and hard hits, if the fans like it, it ain’t going away.

If football was the Hunger Games, which teams are Katniss and Peeta?
To quote Miley Cyrus, we can’t stop and we won’t stop. This is true for certain teams that look completely unstoppable. In the NFC, Seattle has established themselves as the top team, with the road to the Super Bowl most likely going through the CenturyLink Field (home of the iconic brand CenturyLink, makers of the, you know, CenturyLink stuff), one of the toughest places to play due to noise. They also have Marshawn Lynch, a former Cal Bear running back nicknamed “Beast Mode” (love the playah, hate the name), a defensive secondary nicknamed the Legion of Boom and Russell Wilson, perhaps the best second-year quarterback in the game. But as Pete Carroll smacks away on gum, there are concerns about injuries and drug suspensions in the secondary and their road record.

The AFC is more elastic, with top teams like the Broncos showing defensive flaws, perennial favorites the Patriots losing a big offensive threat (and one of the hotter players) with Rob Gronkowski’s injury, and the Bengals surging.

At this point, I truly believe the Super Bowl is anyone’s game. Pick your favorite, I say, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

And while I’m crabby…
I sometimes get incensed that people treat women football fans as if they know less. I would love to rattle off stats with best of ‘em, and this Yahoo video is a great peek into what would happen if women loved football more than men. It’s already true in many households, I don’t think this video is that far off, besides the preposterous concepts of Green Bay having a good fantasy football defense and fans of all team jerseys mixing.

Keep reading, learning and watching, my young padawans. You too will be celebrating the holidays with an eye on the telly, cheering for more touchdowns, shaking your head at the crazy people who built non-dome stadiums.