Please please no more bad new.... give us a chance to catch our breaths!
Thanks girls for always being so supportive. I am afraid to have good vibes, because the first one out of chemo I did and it was bad... I am all jumbled up when I get there... sometimes I am afraid I will pass out and fall off the table. I try to be graceful and breathe and nod my head.... but nornally my legs and arms are cold and numb and I feel I need to vomit at any moment! Wish I had something medicinal to take for anxiety tomorrow. I have never been a kook like that until the cancer, but I can get sick just thinking about tomorrow. AAAghhhhhh!!!! Makes me want to run far far away and never go to the doctor again. I wanna scream.... all the irrational stuff like "it's not fair, why me, I'm too young, I just got married, I wanna live....Then I think "we all want that, so what makes me think I am so special? I think I am crazy...a bubble off level. These follow ups make me irrational. I want to live, I want to live a very long time with my husband.......arghhhh!!! Oh, and I need to ask him why he has not done any pap smears since surgery? Should I ask about the EGFR and HK6? I don't know much about that, but I am paying him to explain and consider these things, right?
Thanks for letting me get that out. I do so appreciate all of my friends here, whom I know truly understand my craziness while waiting for these results. I will post as soon as I get home. Thanks again for caring and being here.
We are sooooo going to kick cancer's butt!!!

You know cancer is actually blessing for us. Think tsunami, those people didn`t have time to say good bye, or I love you. Maybe we don`t have eternity, but enough time to enjoy every single day. Since I was diagnosed even rainy day is nice.

Good luck tomorrow, you are fine like Linda. Her ca125 went down before chemo (because it is inflammation!!!!!)

Deanna.....by the time you read this you will be back home with good news, I am certain! Also, since you didn't sleep very well, maybe you will even get in a little nap and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to celebrate!!!

I hope yours works perfectly and you will love it. They can draw blood from it, give you chemo and even use it for the contrast during CT. Remember to make sure it can be used for CT, some of them can't. Mine was a "Power Port" and I can't recall which co. made it,but there are several that are marketed for their ability to be used during CT scans.
Good Luck. Post when you can. Love and hugs and happy thoughts. Hope you are feeling okay post chemo.

I have an appt. with my gyn/onc at 10:45 to get the results of last weeks CT. As you can see, I am still awake....The waiting is the hardest part. Praying of course for another clean CT.
Love and hugs!

That is a very true comment. My very first gyn visit 5 years ago with the group that found the cancer this time didn't seem to get that and, despite phone calls to the office, made me wait till they sent the darn post card almost 3 weeks later.

One the other hand, gyn oncologist does seem to get it and called as soon as the results came in.

I hear ya about the nerves, just going to his office jacks up my blood pressure.

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