hm.. found this while sorting through files. Its a transcript of a moemnt during highschool (2006?) when I was young (ha) and feeling philosophical.

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I think there are a lot of things we hate

I think there are a lot of things we hate. As our lives go on we sort of keep am list where we add all the nagging things we loathe, despise, dislike and hate. And when we die the list is either alarmingly long or terribly short.

This means you are either misanthropic or an idiot. This is foolish to write since it would mean that hate is a good thing. It isn’t. Love and beauty, calmness and thought are good things, but hate isn’t. The trouble is that it comes so easy to us.

And the more things and people you see, from a safe distance, the more you hate. So it’s vitally important to get near them and take a good look. You may still hate them then, but at least you know precisely why. Specific hate is way better then generalized loathing.

And then I ask myself – what’s the point?

That’s something I ask myself frequently and it explains a lot of my anguish since it’s obvious to anyone sane that no matter how intelligent I am, it’s impossible to figure out. Never mind. It’s something which will keep me busy until we die. If we die, that is. I try to think that we don’t. This is probably insane too, which proves I’m on the right side, eh?

Sanity is either boring or terribly depressing. Once you start to think sane you may as well slit your wrists.