Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Tomorrow, I go back to work! It is hard to believe that I have had almost the entire summer off, how is that possible...I don't feel like I have anything to show for it! When May rolled around and I was thinking about all the things I was going to do this summer I had a really long list, and yes some of them got done, but the big things didn't! I wanted to paint my bedroom, find/buy/install vinyl decals in the bathroom and living room, paint the kitchen cabinets, hang drapes in the guest room, and a few more random things. I did get the garage cleaned out and the pedestals put on the washer and dryer and that was a BIG deal! I am glad we got that done, but still I wanted to do more.

The one thing I know I have done is shop, Shop and SHOP some more! My closet is beyond full and Mr.K has more clothes than he has ever had in his life, I think! The thing is I keep finding incredible deals on clothes, so I keep buying them. I will admit, I am a compulsive shopper! When I am sad or down I shop...A LOT! And this summer is prof of that, I am pretty sure I shopped ever day! The one week I didn't is the week we went on vacation! (I really need to get around to posting those pictures!)

I lastnight while getting a few things organized for me to go back to work is that I really am sad. I am sad that I don't post on here more often. I am sad that I am not pregnant. I am sad that my girls are not here. I am sad that there second birthday is 24 days away and for the life of me I do not know what I want to do to celebrate them! How is it possible that it has been almost two years? It doesn't seam possible at ALL! And it sure is not fair! I miss them so much, I miss them so much that I cried in the grocery store last week when a mom yelled at her little girl. I even had to pull in to a parking lot and cry when I saw an SUV with a bumper sticker that said "Got Twins?", I sat there and cried for so long that the security officer at the shopping center came over to check on me!

I really want to be shopping for MyGirls, I want to be finding all kinds of AMAZING deals on things for them! I don't want to just start crying at random anymore! I don't like crying at random! And I want my mom to stop looking at me like I am crazy, when I buy two pink windsocks to take to the cemetery. Yes Mom, it is normal (I guess) so stop judging me and get over it!

Maybe I just have to much free time on my hands. Maybe this will stop when school goes back and I get busy again.

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I am Amanda, I work fora a local school district and I love blogging and scrapbooking and design of all kinds! I am married to my best friend, Mr. K, we have a beautiful little boy that was born July 2011 that I call LittleMan. This is where I share my thoughts and feelings as we grow as a family and slowly try to navigate our way thru life without our twin daughters, Adison and Lillian. You can email me at ka_hall(at)att(dot)net!