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I think I have the solution to aikido newbie confusion. Its simply caused by the fact they don't know the dojo rules. Ever see those long list of rules at your local pool? You know, the ones that state:

I propose that each Aikido dojo post a dojo warning sign, displayed prominantly next to the Shomen. I'm enlisting the help of all the great folks at aikiweb to flesh out the list of top 100 dojo rules for this sign. .

I'll start us of.

1) Your class instructor is called sensei. He teaches aikido.
2) Shutup and train. If you are not sensei, stop trying to teach your partner, (see rule 1 above).
3) Do not snicker, chuckle or give any outward indication that you find humor in the yudansha tripping on their hakama.
4) Do not complain about your exhaustion from constantly crashing into the tatami. You paid the dojo good money for this experience so enjoy.
5) When dojo mates tell you, "You look dead", they arent refering to your state of exhaustion. Just re-tie your gi left over right.
6) .......

6) You are to feel awe at every technique your sensei teaches, and in case of doubts or questions, you must humbly address the Yudansha (do not look directly at their eyes, for you are not worthy), in case your lower intellect doesn't allow you to understand the techniques the first time you see them...

#12: things you read in a book sometime in a time far far away are NOT relevant to what I'm showing you
#12a: look, I'm serious, shut up
#12b: if you don't shut up about that book we're doing ki all night
#12c: ok class, little Timmy's persuaded me two hours of basic ki tests is a good idea, please express you appreciation
#13: second ki-test is not an atemi, but nice one... Timmy are you alright?

#14. Only be a naughty uke when sensei isn't looking at you.
#15. When an uke is naughty, call sensei and say that you don't understand how nikkyo/sankyo/hiji-jime works ( move behind naughty uke while saying it ). Rinse and repeat until uke repents.
#16. Take acting class.. it helps when you're the favorite uke.
#17. ( Other MAs beware! ) Don't even try challenging, we train with swords, knifes and polearms. You can't win.

The road is long...
The path is steep...
So hire a guide to show you the shortcuts

#18 Never ask " Where do the atemi's go in this technique"
#19 Never ask " Can you show me how to do an overhead" before you can do a standard breakfall.
#20 At a seminar always ask for the technique demonstrated by the visiting Sensei, to be shown again on your favorite Yondan no matter how painful.

#14. Only be a naughty uke when sensei isn't looking at you.
#15. When an uke is naughty, call sensei and say that you don't understand how nikkyo/sankyo/hiji-jime works ( move behind naughty uke while saying it ). Rinse and repeat until uke repents.
#16. Take acting class.. it helps when you're the favorite uke.
#17. ( Other MAs beware! ) Don't even try challenging, we train with swords, knifes and polearms. You can't win.