When we last left basic amazing columnist Peter King, he analyzed Bill Belichick’s decision to go for it on 4th and 2, which totally reminded me of this ONE TIME THE FACKIN’ RED SAWX AWLSO DID SOMETHING VERY SIMILAHHHHH AND I ANALYZED IT AS WELL!

So it’s time to break down King Gordo’s most recent batch of Illy-infused drivel, but FIRST. Another email from Daniel Steele! Yes, that’s right. Remember Daniel? He demanded we make Tom Brady Meast of the Week that one time, and used all sorts of fancy (and wrong) records to back up his choice. Well, Daniel’s back for more punishment. He has a new Meast of the week in mind, and you’ll never guess who. All spelling errors from this email (and there are many) are sic:

sont want 2 start another hole thing about this but wEs Welker had a AWESOMW GAME today aginst the GAY-E-T-S.

GAY-E-T-S? I see what you did there, Daniel.

I’m not gonna get into another huge thing cuz I think its a waste of time for us to both go round in circles wasting breath but just look at his stats:

Talking with commissioner Roger Goodell, while he was getting his makeup wiped off in our NBC Football Night in America studio Sunday night after his Eagles-Bears halftime appearance …

“You know how great you have it in the NFL this year?” I asked.

Come back next week, when Peter asks commissioner Goodell several more hard-hitting questions, like:

-“Did you realize you have fantastic eyes? Really striking.”
-“Who are you wearing?”
-“Do you smoke a pipe? I think you’d be the kind of person who looks good smoking a pipe.”

Bobby Layne would be proud.

Those are the exact words I said to Stafford as Detroit medics finished putting a harness on his left shoulder and a sling on his arm in the postgame locker room.

Stafford to King: “Who? Oh, that old drunk guy?”

Layne’s the blood-and-guts Lions quarterback who preceded Stafford by 50 years

Unlike most QB’s, who are made out of a rubber core and several layers of twine.

Before Stafford and I started talking, I could hear the labored breathing and slight grunts — I assume from Stafford

TURNED OUT IT WAS ME!

Seems that Browns nickel back Hank Poteat tackled wideout Calvin Johnson in the end zone, thinking physical play was OK because Stafford had left the pocket.

Holy shit, Hank Poteat’s the biggest idiot in football if he believed that. Hey look, the QB’s out of the pocket! I CAN TOTALLY INTERFERE NOW!

“That story’s almost two years old,” Goodell said when I asked him about it at NBC on Sunday. “When I went to Afghanistan, I went with Admiral Mullen [Michael Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff]. We stopped in Ireland and got a beer in Shannon, and he said one of the issues they were having was MBTI, the Mild Brain Trauma Injury. When a soldier has a brain injury, when is it safe to put him back on the battlefield? I said, ‘We have a lot of experience with this, admiral. We’d be happy to exchange information with you.’

“Oh, we’ve been ignoring concussions for YEARS, Admiral. Let us show you how to sweep neurological trauma under the rug.”

He said he thinks organized offseason conditioning has spiraled out of control. (And bully for him on this — it’s ridiculous how year-round a job playing and coaching has become.)

How dare people making millions of dollars be forced to work THE ENTIRE YEAR. That’s insanity.

“Last night,” Childress told me after the 35-9 win over the Seahawks, “when I got to the hotel, I looked in our film room. It was about 5:30. And there’s Favre, sitting there by himself, watching video. He’s amazing. He’s a worker.”

“I barely have to do anything anymore, and thank goodness for THAT.”

Sitting next to Tony Dungy on Sundays at NBC is an education.

I KNOW TONY DUNGY! HIS DIGNITY IS CONTAGIOUS!

“The same play’s been the difference-maker two weeks in a row now,” said (Gary) Brackett. “I’ve had a few big plays in my career, like the forced fumble on [Jerome] Bettis in the [2005] AFC Championship Game, but this one was definitely huge.”

Wasn’t the AFC title game, Gary.

A couple of times last year, when he was most frustrated, Vince Young would text Kobe Bryant, who had become something of a mentor. He’d write something like…

“Be a dick to teammates. Rape a concierge.”

“There are New England football fans who’d support Belichick if he pledged to eradicate indoor plumbing.”

I know! It’s almost as if they think he’s good coach because he won three Super Bowls!

Coach of the Week

Brad Childress, head coach, Minnesota.

Remember Childress’ trip down to Gainesville the week before the draft to personally investigate Harvin? Childress told me this summer he wanted Harvin to pick him up and drive him around. “I wanted to be in his car, and I wanted to smell the car,” Childress said.

“Hey, this car smells like chicken and pussy!”

Enjoyable/Aggravating Travel Note of the Week

I Weep For Humanity Dept.: The NBC Football Night in America crew took in the Panthers-Rangers game Saturday night at Madison Square Garden. Entering the building, I saw eight 18ish Ranger-clad guys and gals posing for a photo, with what I assumed was a passerby who agreed to take their photo. All posed with middle fingers pointing at the camera.

What is this, the Bud Adamsing of America?

ZOMG! Teenagers in New York with bad attitudes? People from New York giving people the bird? We are merely minutes away from Snake Plissken’s New York!

In honor of passing 200,000 followers on Twitter the other day (I sit at 216,442 as the day dawns), I decided to give one of the flock the chance to write a short piece of their choosing in the column this week. I took nominations, and of the 500-plus ideas that came in, I chose @tbaysi1, Tim Baysinger of Queens, N.Y.

TIM DEMANDS BRETT FAVRE BE #1 ON YOUR MVP WATCH.

No, no. Just kidding. Here’s what Tim really had to say:

Football fans are some of the most passionate individuals you will ever meet, only surpassed by soccer fans.

Then go read a soccer column, Tim. You asshole.

I’m not sure what this means, other than I’d say it’s very unlikely to happen: I had a dream Saturday night that I was a guest at Al Davis’ house in northern California, there to advise him on what to do with the Raiders. The advice part of it wasn’t in the dream, but I’m sure if it had been, it’d have been brilliant.

And there was a talking moose! And Matt Stafford’s blood and guts were there!

Little-known facto about Tom Santi, the Colts tight end who made the first two catches of his career on the same drive at Baltimore: He had a staph infection last year before Manning did, and the Colts used his infection as a barometer for how to treat Manning.

Oooh! Ooh! Give Tom megaAIDS next and see what happens!

Nice camera work, FOX, at Tampa Bay, showing professional-wrestler-lookalike Chris Hovan putting eye-black on his young son on the field before Bucs-Saints.

AWWWWWWWWW WHAT A RUSH

Who’d have ever thought Julian Edelman would be this kind of receiver? Looks like he’s been catching passes for seven years, not seven months.

Daniel Steele says you faggets totilly shuld mak h im thee MEST!

Great point by my buddy Don Banks on SI.com Sunday night: never have two teams tied for first place looked so different than the Chargers and Broncos Sunday.

Except for those exact same two teams at the end of LAST season. Donnie Brasco, you have a photographic memory.

Never, ever have I seen Ray Lewis get faked out on a normal-looking burst over the center as I did when he fanned on a Joseph Addai second-quarter touchdown run. As Dan Dierdorf said on CBS, he’s got to be nursing a bum ankle.

Or he’s old and overrated. No, couldn’t be. Not Ray Lewis. He dances!

Tough luck, Perry Fewell. You deserved a better fate. Then again, so did Dick Jauron.

No, he didn’t.

Thanks to all old and new friends for your support at the Montclair book-signing Saturday afternoon at the Yogi Berra Museum and Learning Center at Montclair State.

Well done, learners!

On a beautiful fall afternoon, I realized how much I miss the people and the place.

And the trees! And the talk! And the nutmeg!

Thanks for running it, Dave Kaplan.

And special thanks to the NORMANS!

You call that a lot of Funkhauser? Come on, Larry David. When I say I want Funkhauser, I mean not just three or four lines.

Michael Scott at the Dunder Mifflin shareholder’s meeting was one of the great scenes in the history of The Office. Particularly his quasi-moonwalk on stage.

Semi-Grady Little-esque!

Good for UConn.

They beat a horrible team with a horrible coach!

Don’t even compare the Yale coach’s call — running a fake punt while up 10-7, under three minutes to go against Harvard, fourth-and-22 at his own 25, best punter in the Ivy League back to punt, no timeouts left for Harvard, Yale defense having controlled the day, runner stopped short of the first down at the Yale 40 — to Bill Belichick’s.

Jesus, he really did that? What a moron. He’s certainly not Princeton material. Mmmm. Yes. Indeed. NOT AN EATER.

Are you kidding me, Les Miles?

Actually, he was! Let’s line up and do it for REAL this time, everyone!

Sunday night, 10:47, walking back from NBC to my midtown hotel. Phone rings. It’s Brian Hyland, my former compadre on HBO’s Inside the NFL. He’s at the final Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band concert of this tour (forever, perhaps?) in Buffalo, and he’s now considerate enough to call me as “Tenth Avenue Freezeout” begins, and he keeps the phone on for the first eight minutes of the song. Thanks, Brian. Not the best sound quality, but I’m a beggar, and I’m not choosy.

And standing behind Brian that evening was a poor Buffalo resident just trying to get a glimpse of the Boss by trying to peer around Brian’s fucking phone.

Join The Discussion

Daniel Steele has to be fake, if not he can go suck a dick. TO had 9 for 197, and a TD.

11.23.09 at 10:15 am

Rakibul Islam

Not only did Gary get the game wrong, he conveniently forgot to mention that THEY STILL LOST THE GAME.

Oh, Mike Vanderjagt. We need more liquored-up idiot kickers in this league.

11.23.09 at 10:29 am

Attaturk

The Military and the NFL conspire together to discuss head trauma?

Now there’s two organizations that KNOW HOW TO LIE about head trauma.

Ben Roethlisberger is getting a Pat Tillman memorial Silver Star!

11.23.09 at 10:33 am

jackin'4beats

Snake Plissken references are always welcomed around these parts. Bully for you sir.

Aaaaaand Peter King is still a quasi-semi-like dipshit.

11.23.09 at 10:35 am

Charlie Sweatpants

Forget Daniel being fake, I think this “Peter King” is fake. It can’t be possible to be shocked (SHOCKED I TELL YOU!) at people flipping the bird for a photograph in 2009, can it? If they had been doing the Shocker would he even have known what it is, or would he just assume they were in some sort of cult?

11.23.09 at 10:42 am

miamidiesel

He said he thinks organized offseason conditioning has spiraled out of control. (And bully for him on this — it’s ridiculous how year-round a job playing and coaching has become.)

I think my eyes just started to bleed out. That’s the type of shit that tells you exactly what world Peter King lives in.

Also, during the Jets-Pats game they put up a stat on Welker’s 15 receptions being second in Pats history only to Troy Brown’s 16. I would bet that Daniel Steele was rooting for WELKAH TO SURPASS THAT NO GOOD DAAAAAAHKIE. HIS END-AHROUND RUN WAS GREATAH THAN ANY DAAAAHKIE’S END-AHROUND RUN EVAH. NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!

11.23.09 at 10:42 am

twoeightnine

“You know how great you have it in the NFL this year?” I asked.

Yeah, nothing spells great like the Bills… and the Browns… and the Lions, Raiders, Bucs, Rams, Redskins, Seahawks, Chiefs, Titans, Niners, Jets, Bears, Panthers and all those teams with winning records despite being a pile of suck because hey, someone’s got to win.

I could hear the labored breathing and slight grunts. Stafford was either getting laid or taking a huge dump.

11.23.09 at 11:02 am

Zero Charisma

Costas and his ilk need to direct their ire at Peter King. Reading a King column can only inspire people to believe that they have a shot at being a sports writer.

11.23.09 at 11:04 am

Matt Casselhoff

Clearly the Meast here should be Todd Haley. I dont remember him at any point yelling uncontrollably at his players. Oh and he drew that play up in the dirt (NOT REALLY)

Baby steps…

11.23.09 at 11:10 am

Monkey Business

Yeah, about half to three quarters of the league is utterly unwatchable every weekend. Hey Commissioner Goodell: instead of getting beers in Scotland, why don’t you figure out a way to get rid of Al Davis, Randy Lerner, the Ford Family, and Dan Snyder? Oh yeah, Ralph Wilson too.

11.23.09 at 11:10 am

Hectropolis

It seems Raiderjoe of Football Outsiders fame has a doppelganger on this site and his name is Daniel

11.23.09 at 11:11 am

Mike D

FACT: Julian Edelman had never even seen a football 8 months ago.

“What is this oblong pigskined item? Methinks it is for the tossing no?”

11.23.09 at 11:14 am

Urge to kill

Sunday night, 10:47, walking back from NBC to my midtown hotel. Phone rings. It’s Brian Hyland, my former compadre on HBO’s Inside the NFL. He’s at the final Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band concert of this tour (forever, perhaps?) in Buffalo, and he’s now considerate enough to call me as “Tenth Avenue Freezeout” begins, and he keeps the phone on for the first eight minutes of the song. Thanks, Brian. Not the best sound quality, but I’m a beggar, and I’m not choosy.

Holy Bejesus this an awful fucking paragraph. It makes me want to run towards the nearest person and punch them in the face. If there is any justice that person will be Peter King.

11.23.09 at 11:18 am

DaydreamBilliever

FACT: Julian Edelman did not exist 8 months ago, he was created asexually when Wes Welker split in two during practice.

11.23.09 at 11:33 am

Lawrence

That Office episode was nothing special. WHERE WAS THE JIM AND PAM SEXUAL TENSION??? I DEMAND MORE WILL THEY/WON’T THEY BULLSHIT.

Wait, they’re married now? Oh fuck that show.

11.23.09 at 11:41 am

Animal Mother

“We are merely minutes away from Snake Plissken’s New York!”

Minutes away? We passed Snake’s New York years ago. Escape from New York was filmed live!!!

/thought he was dead.

11.23.09 at 11:45 am

Marmalard for President

Are you kidding me? King is now using his column to talk about his dreams and that’s how little you make fun of him? I guess we’re lucky he didn’t tell us about the “messy” Favre dream he had later that night.

11.23.09 at 11:48 am

Nathan

This DH goes out of his way to be nice to the people that matter to him. Coaches, top-rated QBs, front office folks, referees and of course the commissioner. Never will you find anyone with the above job-descriptions in the “Goat of the week” column. It will be some obscure DB from a losing team that will get that “award”!
BTW, does this glutton have to celebrate Thanksgiving separately? Or would that be two turkeys cooking in teh family – one for him and one for the rest of the Kings??

11.23.09 at 12:02 pm

Cock Flashy

Peter Kings respects the sun but he DOESN’T RESPECT WOOD!

11.23.09 at 12:07 pm

Dat RoRo Kid

Obviously, Childress has never heard of a little thing called Ozium.

11.23.09 at 12:26 pm

House of Lofty Passes

More like monstrously talented team under-performing horribly due to an absolutely dismal coach

11.23.09 at 12:28 pm

Cutler's lover

Peter’s on the “working 12 months in the same year is like slavery” bandwagon again? How in the world does he justify that stance.

11.23.09 at 12:33 pm

JimHalpertSmirk

that emailing kid who can’t spell had the right team, but the meast should probably be leigh bodden. not that it actually matters.

11.23.09 at 12:36 pm

jackin'4beats

Not to digress from the weekly PK hatefest, but I’ve got to say this.

Why must we be subjected to 2 minutes of Bob Costas dipshittery every week? It’s bad enough that this man singlehandedly made it OK for sports commentators to all feel like their opinions should be heard as they yell them at each other in quasi-debate and semi-argumentative fashion on sports talk radio and TWWL. But now we need to be subjected to (AGAIN) his desire to make the NFL OT rules “fair” so that each team can have at least one possession? This is not College Football asscrack licker. This is the NFL where SUDDEN DEATH should not only be a part of OT but also a part of Costas’ appearance on the NBC halftime show.

It’s like the tremendous sense of urgency that comes with a sudden death OT is too exciting for Mr. Botox there. He’s got to drag it out so Brady Quinn’s feelings aren’t hurt or so Elisha can think about his matchbox cars or Cutlersulker and McNabb can keep overthrowing receivers when everyone else has left the building (because the game is over). Enough of this stupid debate already. The NFL’s OT rules are perfect the way they are and fuck Costas in the eye socket for getting on his soap box (and becoming 5’6″) to try to make it like little league baseball where everyone gets a trophy.

I would so punch him in the face if I saw him on the street. Thanks for the space to rant.

/back to PK bashing

11.23.09 at 12:37 pm

Reggie Bush's Pimp

“Hey, this car smells like chicken and pussy!”

Like so many college cars should do. I wonder if Percy Harvin had a stack of overdue library books, BK wrappers and porn in the backseat.

/Not that I would know.

11.23.09 at 12:39 pm

frank "chad" sinatra

@jackin’4beats: so, what you’re saying is that you hate it when people take up space/time ranting and raving about their own personal opinions, as if anyone in the wide world of sports gave two shits about what they think?

@ Jackin’ – If Costas and King worked for CBS or Fox, you would never hear a peep out of them regarding OT rules. NBC carries one game a week and would love the extra revenue a game lasting 4 hours could produce. Meanwhile, Fox and CBS would have to tear people away from a 1pm game that went into overtime when the 4pm or 4:15 games had to start, not because they wanted to, but due to “NFL rules” they would have to do it.

CBS and Fox pay way more money to the NFL than NBC, so there’s no way the OT rules will change. Costas and King are just attacking windmills because they are media tools for NBC.

And fuck Costas and King and the horse that rode them into town.

11.23.09 at 1:09 pm

GiantSpaceBeaver

I actually read most of MMQB for the first time in, well, ever, and I’m disappointed Drew didn’t nail him for this piece of sheer stupidity:

Sounds to me like Ralph Wilson’s a desperate man, and he’ll do what he has to do to get one of the really big fish. Mike Shanahan, I hear, is tops on his list. I’d be surprised if Shanahan went to Buffalo before he knew what else was out there in the offseason.

Dear Peter: we’ve watched our owner hire no-name coordinators and retread coaches for the last twenty years. We got “lucky” (ahem) in that one of them was good enough to lose four Super Bowls. The rest of them? Well, I’m pretty sure our teams’ cumulative record since the 90’s can fill you in on how they’ve performed. Most of us look at our owner finally making moves to hire a REAL FUCKING COACH as a sign of a pulse and something resembling an awareness of the reality of the situation. I’m not exactly sure how that qualifies as desperation. Then again, I’m not sure how Dick Jauron deserved a better fate. So, in short, get fucked, you fat, useless, piece of shit.

Thanks so much-

Bills fans

PS- Seriously, though, get fucked. Get fucked in the ass and die of anal hemorrhaging with a quickness. K THX BAI.

11.23.09 at 1:10 pm

synapticmisfires

You dumb-fahking Boston Hatah. You just hate us because weuh smartah than you because we have Hahvahd. When I went to Holy Cross we used to drive to Came-ber-udge and try to nail those stoke up Hahvahd sluts. We nevah did, cuz they ahh ugly nerds, but I woulda rocked their worlds.

DO you realize that at that 11 yahd per cahrry avuhrage, Welkah would be the all-time rushing leader in 1669 carries? That makes him three-times as good as lazy dahkie Emmit Smith, even without Welkah’s receiving talents. NO ONE DENIES THIS. Welkah fo-ruh HALL OF FAME. MVP. MVP.

11.23.09 at 1:14 pm

chareth cutestory

“sont want 2 start another hole thing about this but wEs Welker had a AWESOMW GAME today aginst the GAY-E-T-S.”

From the looks of this email, Drew should anticipate either a slew of computer viruses or a lot of money when that Nigerian prince finally comes through for him.

11.23.09 at 1:16 pm

jackin'4beats

@frank “chad” sinatra: No I just hate it when dipshits have nothing constructive to say when responding to a post. I’d like to hear your opinion on the subject if you could clearly articulate your opinion. Either that or STFU and go back to your NBC assigned cubicle.

11.23.09 at 1:24 pm

frank "chad" sinatra

@jackin’4beats: “i’d like to hear your opinion…”

no. it doesn’t matter, and you’re a dipshit.

11.23.09 at 1:25 pm

BigLeagueJew

“Be a dick to teammates. Rape a concierge.”

…aaaaaaaaaand scratch one week-old Dell LCD monitor.
Damn you Drew.

11.23.09 at 1:57 pm

Jizzthrasher

@jackin': I respectfully disagree, but I think we also agree in a sense. I don’t dislike the NFL overtime rules because I think both teams deserve a possession, necessarily (though there have been games where I would have liked to see both teams get a possession, e.g. the Colts-Chargers playoff game last year), but because I think CFB’s OT system is more exciting. You talk about the sudden death element as if it’s not present in college football, but I don’t think that’s true – surely the team with second possession, knowing they perhaps must score a touchdown in order to win or prolong the game (depending on the situation), feels some sense of urgency, as well as the defense trying to stop them from doing that.

I also fail to see how “everyone gets a trophy” in the CFB system, seeing as how there is still only one winner. In fact, the NFL OT rules don’t even guarantee a winner, unlike CFB (I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure they’ll play as many overtimes as necessary in CFB).

Anyway, I don’t hate NFL overtime, but CFB’s is better, in my very humble and polite opinion.

11.23.09 at 1:58 pm

jackin'4beats

@frank “chad” sinatra: Nice comeback, very well thought out and clearly articulated. You have open your mouth and thoroughly left no doubt about your utter dumbfuckery. Congratulations to you. Now go back to Bahstan and stop using your real name like all the other Massholes who troll on this site.

11.23.09 at 2:01 pm

GiantSpaceBeaver

@frank “chad” sinatra: yes, he’s a complete dipshit, because voicing one’s opinion in a sports blog (a form of media specifically created for the sharing of personal thoughts and opinions) is exactly the same as using one’s position as host of a national television sporting news segment to voice completely subjective opinions. I’m glad there are clear-sighted individuals such as yourself to point out the irony without having any sort of awareness of your own hypocrisy.

11.23.09 at 2:03 pm

jackin'4beats

@Jizzthrasher: It’s easy to respect an opinion that’s well thought out like your own, so thank you for advancing the debate. I wasn’t looking for everyone to agree with me, just ranting about how I feel about Costas using his national platform to “convince” all of us fans that he’s right and the NFL is wrong. And for that he deserves a cocksmack.

While I do like the current NFL format, anything exciting that would enhance the game rather than draw it out to the point where we want to destroy our TVs would be welcome. I’m just not so sure that we need to give both teams a possession if one of those teams D just can’t stop the other team O.

/debate rages on

11.23.09 at 2:04 pm

Slash

Thank goodness kids these days have the technological means at their fingertips to tell us what they’re thinking, when they’re thinking it. Back in the day, we’d have to meet with dipshits face to face and endure their illiterate ramblings IN PERSON. Now, we can see the ramblings in all their misspelled glory, on a screen. We truly do live in an age of wonder, populated by retards with cell phones and computers.

And a special shout-out to people who actually use their phones as the cell phone companies’ retarded ads suggest, ie, holding one up during a concert so a friend who didn’t actually shell out for concert tickets can hear it. You are winners, not losers. Winners, I say!!!! One day, we’ll broadcast our every movement (bowel and otherwise) to the world at large, because heaven forfend that anyone go a moment without trying to be the center of the goddam universe, no matter how mundane their observations and/or experiences…

11.23.09 at 2:12 pm

frank "chad" sinatra

@jackin – just wondering, what makes you think that (a) i work for NBC and (b) i’m from boston? curious.

KSK EDIT: NOPE NOT THE SAME PERSON, DIFFERENT IP ADDRESSES. UNLIKE CHAD & GARY BUSEY’S FACE WHICH HAVE THE SAME IP.

11.23.09 at 2:15 pm

Upstate Underdog

get a room, funboys.

11.23.09 at 2:31 pm

StuScottBooyahs

Those are the exact words I said to Stafford as Detroit medics finished putting a harness on his left shoulder and a sling on his arm in the postgame locker room.

So of all the games to attend last week, he picked Lions and Browns?

“I’ve got a feeling about this Eric Mangini fellow!”

11.23.09 at 2:39 pm

deafjeff

Bruce Fuckin killed last night.

11.23.09 at 3:04 pm

mitch

why so you keep publuishing this guys emails??? did you ever think that he was just trying to send a spersonal corresponsdence to you to give you his imput for the award you guys give every week. its not like i was trying to say antyhing to conturoversial. Welker had aa GREAT game yestaerday and how many other receivers in the game can boast about there versatility like WElker did??? he is the complete package when it comes to a football player and THAT Should be rewarded.

11.23.09 at 3:06 pm

Andy (steeler fan in peru)

Despite being a stiller fan, and suffering right now…

Meast should probably go to Jamaal Charles. He pretty much made the difference against the Burgh.

Or one could make a collective Meast of Offense in the Detroit/Cleveland game.

11.23.09 at 3:19 pm

Cleetus

“did you ever think that HE was just trying to send…”

Later, that same thread…

“It’s not like I was trying to say that….”

OOPS.

FIX YO NARRATIVE!

/ nice avatar, douchebag. 16-0? 18-1? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

11.23.09 at 3:23 pm

rk

Valiant is this year’s lofty.

11.23.09 at 3:27 pm

zds

ah daniel. you have tripped up yet again.

11.23.09 at 4:12 pm

FratManG

@ Mitch: Little over the top there. Welker is a good receier but he is the benficiary of Randy Moss taking some of the attention away from him (I’d give him 2 catches at best if HE was matched up against Revis). In terms of the complete package hed also need to have a lot more of a vertical game, in my opinion. So in summation: Average Reciever < Wes Welker < Elite Receiver Jesus.

11.23.09 at 4:13 pm

your team sucks

@jackin’4beats

what’s that smell? is that junior college I smell on you (why yes, i do listen to adam carolla, why do you ask)? You’re not as insightful, funny, or as talented a writer as you think you are. If you were, we would be going to your website for your commentary. The comments are for dick jokes and calling New England a bunch of fags. Although i agree with your point, keep it short, please.

11.23.09 at 4:22 pm

UbenHadd

“Last night,” Childress told me after the 35-9 win over the Seahawks, “when I got to the hotel, I looked in our film room. It was about 5:30. And there’s Favre, sitting there by himself, watching video. He’s amazing. He’s a worker.”

No, he just felt a need to stare at himself for hours on end wishing everyone else would love him the way he loves himself, because he’s great that way.

@Rakibul Islam

Why the fuck would he mention the outcome either way, he was discussing memorable plays he made.

11.23.09 at 4:31 pm

Slash

RE your team sucks Says:
“You’re not as insightful, funny, or as talented a writer as you think you are.”

Oh no you di’nt! You in trouble now, boy…

11.23.09 at 4:35 pm

StuScottBooyahs

“Last night,” Childress told me after the 35-9 win over the Seahawks, “when I got to the hotel, I looked in our film room. It was about 5:30. And there’s Favre, sitting there by himself, watching video. He’s amazing. He’s a worker.”

“And then he spun around and screamed GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. I wonder why he was studying film about sheep.”

11.23.09 at 4:36 pm

Gino Tourettsa

I’m cool with a Snake Plissken-style New York City, as long as Isaac Hayes is in charge of the bad guys and all disputes are settled in the ring with spiked baseball bats.

And make sure the local teams are called the Gaynkees, GAY-E-T-S, Gayiants, Gaynicks, Gaynets, Gay Rangers and Gaylanders.

11.23.09 at 4:43 pm

Pigs

I would love for a team to be named the Gaylanders.

11.23.09 at 4:53 pm

NH Dan

The fake Patriots fans are so obvious. WE ARE EDUCATED HERE AND DON’T SPELL POORLY WE JUST HAVE FUNNY ACCENTS!

11.23.09 at 7:29 pm

Chicago CP

@NH Dan – except for when they type fast and don’t proofread

11.23.09 at 7:44 pm

Visanthe Shiancoe's horse cock

Dick Jauron deserved a better fate? FUCK YOU, PETER KING. Fuck you with a rusty tire-iron. Fuck you with a spatula covered in Magic Johnson’s semen. Fuck you with a dead goat. Fuck you with a 1974 Chevy Impala. Fuck you.

11.23.09 at 7:58 pm

jackin'4beats

@your team sucks: first of all, I’m funnier, more talented and more insightful in my cawk than several of the hacks that visit this site (especially those that use multiple handles from the same IP). I’m hoping not to include you in that group but I’m smelling something from you too…something that some Massengill might be able to alleviate. I know what the comments are for and I usually don’t post long rants so you can tell me what to do when I come to your blog. When the gay Mafia tells me to tone it down, I’ll listen to them. Since you are not part of that esteemed group I’ll kindly direct you to the bag of dicks section.

/take this bib you’ll need it.

11.23.09 at 9:12 pm

Andy Reids left nut

” and he’s now considerate enough to call me as “Tenth Avenue Freezeout” begins, and he keeps the phone on for the first eight minutes of the song. Thanks, Brian. Not the best sound quality, but I’m a beggar, and I’m not choosy.”

The fact he even MENTIONED the sound quality is cuntish to an unforeseen level.

11.24.09 at 1:52 am

chris johnson as a second language

chicken and pussy ftw!

11.24.09 at 8:39 am

Danzibar.Island

One of my fraternity brothers and coworkers grew up in BAHSTON; when another coworker first met him, she asked him if he was retarded or had a speech impediment.

Also, thank God I didn’t go into Montclair this past Saturday. All last week I was planning to go in on the weekend, but ultimately didn’t. Now I know it it was because I must have had some kind of anti-black-hole-where-his-brain-should-be ESP and avoided that fat cocksucker. Also, before you get all uppity and ask why I WANTED to drive into that pretentious shithole- they have a used bookstore I like…

11.24.09 at 10:32 pm

Xappy McShitz

Do quarterbacks have blood and guts? I don’t know. Will Bill Belichick go for it on every 4th down the rest of the season? I don’t know. Will Springsteen ever play another concert? MAYBE.