Saturday, October 31, 2015

When my daughters were little, we bundled them up and took them trick or treating every year. At over 500 pounds, I couldn't walk too far in one stretch. I watched from the car as Irene took them from house to house. I would pick them up at the end of each block then ask for a candy bar as a "fare" to the next block. Horrible, I know. It happened. Not proud of it, their 500 pound father basically demanding candy to continue--uhg... but now, two decades later, we can recall, smile and even laugh about those times.

Tonight was Noah's first turn at trick or treating. None of us wanted to miss it, so we all went along. It was seven adults and one of the most adorable Tiggers making our way around, gathering candy. Both of my daughters, Irene and a few others came along. Noah wasn't sure about it at first, but he quickly figured out that this was likely the greatest thing of all time.People open their door and give me candy, for free? It wasn't long before he was literally running from house to house.

There wasn't any of the old driving as they walked, business. We parked and all of us walked. At one point, far away from where the cars were waiting, I literally ran two and a half blocks back to mine to quickly shuttle Noah to the next area. No candy-fare needed. That kind of physical freedom feels incredible.

Afterward, we all gathered for dinner at the Mexican restaurant closest to my apartment. I was shocked at how well Noah, at two years, knows how to use his Nana's smart phone. He was watching kids videos after eating...watch a little while, swipe through some other options with his cute little fingers, then start a different one...watch...then swipe...start another and watch some more. Fascinating how the device is so intuitively designed, a two year old can figure it out.

Today was a great day all the way around. I caught up on some rest, exercised well at the YMCA, maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, exceeded my water goal and continued to hold sacred my abstinence from refined sugar.

This is the second Halloween in a row without some kind of candy going in my face. A candy-less Halloween is something I couldn't imagine two decades ago. I can honestly say it isn't even a question or a temptation at this point. I don't consume refined sugar, period. It's just a fact. It's not "I try to stay away from refined sugar," or "I do my best to not eat sugar," or "I usually don't eat refined sugar." It's "I don't consume refined sugar." I treat it very much like I'm allergic and the reaction would surely kill me. And really, that's not too far removed from the truth when you think about it. If I eat refined sugar, I will relapse--and if I relapse, I will gain weight rapidly--and if I ever go back to those much higher weights, 350, 400 or 500 pounds, eventually it will kill me.

I wrote a Facebook micro-blog today:

This search many of us are on, isn't for anything external. Ultimately, what is found lives within us. The perspectives needed for positive change lie in wait of our discoveries along the way. Each perspective is waiting its turn to enlighten. The search, when redefined, becomes a self-study full of trial and error. The epiphanies that come with our consistent pursuit, reveal the secrets hibernating within our heart, mind and soul. And then we realize, our search was ultimately for the belief that it was within us the entire time. Once we believe it's in there, on a spiritual, mental, emotional and physical level, we transform. And we do because the limiting thoughts we once embraced, are exchanged for limitless possibilities.

Someone commented, "A little verbose, but true."

I invented verbose, of course it is! I'm intentionally verbose most of the time. How many ways can I say this, or how much clarity can I give this thought? It's part of my writing style. I could have refined it down to a sentence or two, but that's not much fun for me. I enjoy my verbosity.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Writing a very short, almost "Tweets Only" post, was the plan. I'm still basically doing that--except I found an excerpt I wanted to share from May 30th, 2010. I've made a few edits and some minor reformatting to the following. I had so much ahead of me when this was written. Many lessons--some almost deadly--had to be lived and learned. I'm still living and I hope I never stop learning.

Five and a half years ago:

I've written before about how we're all authors of our own story. And let me say this before I go any further: I fully believe that we're at the mercy of a most divine and powerful editor—who ultimately decides when and how our story ends. But at the same time, if we're fortunate, we're given the freedom to take control of our story and rise to the challenge of making it whatever we choose. Will our story be tragic or triumphant? Will we take control of the plot, accepting 100% responsibility for our actions, complete with a level of self-honesty that clearly stares down what has held us back? We write the book everyday along this road. My life, or book, was headed for a very sad and tragic end at over 500 pounds. My “character” was depressed over his obesity. He was sad and out of control, feeling hopeless for change---playing and fully accepting the role of victim in so many circumstances, slowly drowning in the sinkhole of life, holding on to all that was good and right—the family, the friends, the blessings---but still sinking, almost giving up and letting go of himself, everything, and everyone. Almost surrendering in a way that would surely leave his family and friends heartbroken. But wait! I'm the author of this story, you're the author of yours! Is it going to end this way? Nobody can write it for us. We have to be the one to turn it all around for the record. If it's ever going to change, we must accept the challenge and rise above our circumstances. We make that iron-clad decision, we put up that steel-curtain zone, and we do it because we've decided that tragedy sucks. Our story can be a happy tale, full of triumphant victory---that happy ending where everything seems right with the world. And should our most divine and powerful editor feel the need to give it a tragic and sudden twist, for reasons unknown to you and me, then we can still feel good about and appreciate that we made a difference with our individual vision of how our story could be and what we did to make it that way.That's what drives me. It's much deeper than just being able to say no to overeating. That kind of control is just the surface. What's below the surface is the driving force toward freedom, a freedom I never knew and always believed was out of reach. Until now. Reach for it, realize that you're the author of your own story and write it with your actions. Take it from someone who spent nearly two decades near, at, or above 500 pounds. I know you can really do it. It's in you--so grab it, write it, and live it!
Today was a very good day in a variety of ways, despite its length. I wrapped the workday with a broadcast this evening from an annual Halloween event in downtown Ponca City, Oklahoma. I ran some errands after, made it to the store and finally home to prepare a late dinner.

I've enjoyed a few really powerful support exchanges today. Those work both ways, ya know? If I'm reaching out for help from someone, it also helps them. If someone reaches out to me and I help them in some way, that also helps me.

My exercise today was my increased activity. I must be good with this. I am, I think. No, seriously--I'm okay.

I'm hitting the pillow feeling the peace and calm that comes with honoring the integrity of my plan.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

My Bi-Weekly maintenance weigh-in at the doctor's office was exactly what I hoped. I found a .2 pound gain. Wonderful! It was 213.0 two weeks ago and today...
I will keep on keeping on. I feel great at this weight, truly. I'm not going to spend too much time writing about what I hope to or want to accomplish within my workout plans, but I do understand, as that part develops further, my maintenance calorie budget may require modifications to support those physical developments.

Keeping it short tonight. I got home and took a nap late this afternoon--and then proceeded to sleep longer than I intended. Not the first time I've pulled this stunt--I adjusted my evening accordingly. I'm fully aware of how my time management starts with sleep management. If the sleep isn't right, the rest of the challenges in that pursuit are more challenging.

If you've already watched this video, thank you! If it resonated deeply, please share it with your friends and other potentially like-minded people! If you haven't, please--click play! If it doesn't resonate (and it might not), then keep watching for more episodes to come!

The weight loss support groups I co-facilitate with Life Coach Gerri are filling up quickly! We have members with less than 10 pounds to lose, some in maintenance mode and some with 100, 200 and more pounds to lose. If you're ready to discover the power of structured accountability and support while being coached by Gerri and mentored by me, then sign up today!

And this just in: Our support groups can now accommodate international members. If you're in the UK, Australia, Canada or almost anywhere else in the world, you can join! The only challenge will be the time difference. For example: The Tuesday night 7pm Central/8pm Eastern group is 11am Wednesday in Australia.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

I sincerely appreciate the variety of feedback/response to yesterday's edition of The Winning Loser Video Blog. I want to share some of the responses. But first, in case you missed it...

Please subscribe and you'll never miss an episode! Like I mentioned in last night's blog post, the advice given in the video certainly doesn't apply to everyone. Some are truly motivated and empowered by daily weigh-ins. But for anyone like me, daily weighing--or just weighing too often can be an all consuming/obsessive and consistency killing kind of practice.

(I've edited a few typos and reformatted some of the following responses)

Jon in Wisconsin writes:Awesome winning loser video Sean! I am without question one of those people that finds weighing myself everyday preferred, as I analyze the numbers and have grown immune to the daily fluctuations. At times when I go on vacation, not weighing myself, I become unsure, uneasy and insecure of unknown weight fluctuations in progress. Daily observed weights the past 20 months has provided great understanding, insight, knowledge, comfort & calmness. Being able to analyze the numbers and how specific nutrition or activity creates obvious weight fluctuation trends, then using the information to establish theories as if I were pretending to be a very smart, perhaps mad scientist, makes this whole process very interesting and helpful with my own transformation. Having said that, I realize I am more the exception than the norm. You basically nailed it, hit a HR with the advice you offered in this video blog. Unless you're like me, immune to 15 pound weekly weight loss fluctuations and enjoy trying to analyze and make theories from an unreliable source-- You would probably be a lot happier and more successful following Sean's advice here.
Reply:
I know you well, Jon, having spent a few fantastic days in your company a year ago. You're a numbers person, pure and simple--and you approach it like a science experiment. In effect, you're doing some fascinating research. Me--uhg...I couldn't do it, Jon--I would drive myself nuts.

We've spoken about the core elements of who we are and how important it is to nurture those things...because it's truly, in my opinion, a path to happiness regardless of circumstance. And I believe your fascination and keen understanding of numbers is part of yours. It's a gift you possess.
I thought about you as we shot this one--and I knew it wouldn't apply to you! :)
I appreciate your recommendation of me!

Anonymous writes:This video is so timely. I have stepped on that scale daily for as long as I can remember. For the past few months my scale seemed to be way off so I gave in & bought a new one. Guess what? The new one shows I don't really fluctuate all that much from one day to the next. On the old scale I experienced daily swings of 2 - 3 pounds. I'm sad to think of all the wasted energy I spent trying to figure out what I did right or wrong & all the power I gave to a scale that wasn't even working!! I'm going to try once a week...you've convinced me.
Reply:
I'm truly excited for you, A! I'm so glad you're adopting a once a week weigh day! Glad you have a new scale!

Megan in Texas writes:Oh Sean, I have been such a "scale addict" since reaching goal weight and it stresses me out! I am going to watch your video each morning for a while and then hit the gym. It is SO much better to concentrate on working more broccoli into my diet than sweating over a little water weight!LOVE this video and your commitment to giving back toward others physical and emotional well-being... Thank you. ~~ Megan
Reply:
Megan, you nailed it--that's the idea. I'm the same. The only difference between us is, I don't own a scale at home. Otherwise, I too might fall into the potentially obsessive trap of constantly weighing.

The idea behind this, is--in shifting our focus from the scale, to a tight embrace of our fundamental elements--and because we're likely to experience less anxiety or disappointment, it enables us a better chance at consistency within our individual fundamental elements each day.

Thank you for the love! Helping others, helps me and my physical and emotional well being, too!

Rosie writes:I'm going to write just about what your other writers said. Yep, I'm a scale person. Daily. I laughed out loud when I saw the opening of your video because that is ME! I talk to that Bitch every day. I plead with her and tell her to be nice. Give me what I want to see. And when she doesn't I do exactly as you said. I sulk. I'm a NOTSONICE person to be around. I have cried and kicked and screamed because of my failures. Did you see what I wrote? MY failures. As of late, I'm trying to weigh once or twice a week. Of course after the shower and nakie . I'm slowly trying to release my failure feelings but as I do that, it has given me permission to stick this in my mouth here and there... so .... there it is.. I need accountability. And how do I get it? From people around here? Nope. EVERYONE has been waiting for the failure... the comparisons and so on... I'm proud to say I have maintained and that is a positive.. I guess.You however, are a rock star... not sure how you got to rock star status but you sir are amazing. :)Rosie
Reply:
Rosie, your increased awareness will help you through in wonderful ways.

Could you acknowledge two things you're doing wonderfully right, each day? Because you are. In order to have the success you've achieved (notice I said "success"), it's taken positive and wonderful things.
Could you try acknowledging two each day for one week? Like, really think about it--identify them and truly give yourself a pat on the back for doing well.
So many times the positive things we do each day get covered by the over-sized blanket of negativity we're using to warmly wrap our perceived failings (notice I said "perceived").

I appreciate the rock star status you've given me, Thank you. I must tell you, though, I'm just like you.
JMT writes:"Omygosh, dying over the beginning of the video...so funny, but true, too! I work for Weight Watchers, so I see this first hand all the time. I'm one of those who weighs myself almost every morning, but for some reason it doesn't bother me. I'm one of those weird people who it motivates to keep myself in check. I get how it can be a detriment for many, though. I can see your comedy background coming through...love it!"
Reply:
JMT, WW is so awesome for so many! It's truly all about perspective. Good for you in not allowing it to adversely affect you day to day! It affects you in positive ways. I wish I could say the same!
Oh yes-- I love comedy and acting. There will be more of that in upcoming episodes, for sure! Even incorporating other actors to play certain roles.
JMT, thank you! I didn't know you worked for WW! That's very cool.
Does the CEO still write his blog? I haven't checked in some time.

DeDe writes:Sean,This is so true and I agree with it 100%!Dede

Reply:
Dede, thank you. For some of us--oh my, very true!!!

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All this scale talk reminds me, tomorrow is my bi-weekly maintenance weigh-in! I almost forgot!! See, I'm making it so insignificant I almost forgot! But make no mistake, I'll be taking a support buddy along to the doctor's office, via text of course, just in case I need some perspective in the moments after it gives me the reading. Good support helps!
A promotional photo in studio today. We're promoting our involvement in an annual Halloween event where we'll be passing out candy to kids in costume Thursday evening. This wasn't the photo used--this was an extra shot with a wide-eyed concerned look! It's cool that 99% of my colleagues know me well enough to not be overly concerned when I'm around over 1,000 pieces of candy. Halloween candy-- that topic will get discussed later this week, I'm sure. I've already packed too much into this post! This has turned into a Mega-Post. And I'm not quite finished!

I didn't manage my calorie budget very well today. My breakfast was a little higher than normal, not much, but I think it might have subconsciously encouraged a smaller lunch and dinner--and this created a budget with too many calories left, late. No complaints. This is a nice "problem" within maintenance mode.

I prepared a relatively low cal mushroom and pineapple pizza for 367 calories to boost the final total. And honestly, I'm working on accepting that it's okay if some days are a little lower. However, my goal is to maintain, not lose. It simply comes down to managing better throughout the day. This issue seems to be exclusive to maintenance mode for me. I don't remember having it at any other time before now. I'm blessed in many ways--and one, I truly believe, is how this turnaround from relapse/regain has done wonders at repairing my metabolism. I'm grateful.

We're less than a week away from the start of another 10 week weight loss support group session!
Each group option has a few spots available. Space is limited. We keep the groups small and exclusive. If you're interested, I encourage you to register as soon as you can!
Here's the poster:

Monday, October 26, 2015

It's really strange sometimes. What is "it?" Where I find myself today is so far removed from where I came. I was never strong, consistent or successful losing weight until I started doing things differently over seven years ago.

I have much more experience in NOT being successful than I do in being successful. That's just simple math.

Analyzing what didn't work for me during the nearly twenty years near, at or above 500 pounds, was critically important to coming up with a personal philosophy and plan that works for me today.

It's important to remember what works well for me may not be what works well for you. Each one of us has our own experiences and preferences that have shaped where we find ourselves.

We find our personal groove. And it may be different for each of us. But I've noticed, many of the conclusions we find, if not completely identical, have distinct similarities.

I always seemed to complicate things in the past. That's why I'm all about simplifying the approach, especially in the beginning.

In studying many of my failed attempts, I found one of the key elements in my failure was finding ways to feel bad about my progress. I set expectations high, laid out complicated plans and white knuckled it all the way to the scale as often as possible, in hopes of some kind of indicator that I was doing things correctly. If it was a good weigh in, I'd be on top of the world--if it wasn't, I'd be crushed, left questioning everything positive I was doing.

Some people can weigh every day and handle it with a calm understanding. I'm not one of those well adjusted people. I know many who are, though. In fact, I have some good friends who swear by it--and how it helps them. I'm different. And I know there are a lot of people like me who have given the scale a bunch of emotional control in past attempts.

One of the adjustments to my approach required me to change my perspective on the scale and weighing. If you weigh daily and have found the perspective needed to process the statistics, no matter what, in a positive way, then this edition of the Winning Loser Video Blog probably isn't for you. Even still, you might smile as you watch.

But if you're like me, you just might relate. Thank you for watching!

After watching, A.A. writes:

"Hi Sean,I just wanted to personally give you thanks for your scale video. I just watched it and loved it! I am a person who is easily broken by that scale I find myself standing on every single day. Not only does it get in my head but it causes me to fall off plan every singe time. I'll do good for a week, step on that scale one day and show a gain and snowball down hill from there. I've actually gotten to the point now where I am at the heaviest weight I have ever been and I can't seem to understand why I continue down this path of slowly killing myself. The scale definitely has too much power and I've never heard anyone talk about it the way you did. You made me question WHY I trust something that is not a reliable source. Thank you for that video!"
Letting the Tweets take it the rest of the way tonight.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

I hadn't fallen asleep while writing a blog post in a very long time before last night. I have no idea how I slept for nearly three hours, sitting up, at my desk. I finally staggered to bed well after 5am. It really had the potential to tilt my Sunday in a way that could have affected beyond today and into the start of my work week. I handled it better by effectively making today a rest and relaxation day. Yesterday was full, so it was needed.

I also wrapped my birthday weekend with one of my favorite meals, fried catfish and fresh cut and baked sweet potato fries. It was amazing (see Tweet-Pic below).

A few more pictures from Friday evening's birthday get-together. I feel incredibly blessed to have had both of my daughters and my grandson with me.

It felt good to get back to making another Winning Loser Video Blog today. It should be ready very soon. It was fun to shoot! This next episode is all about the scale and weighing.

I cancelled my trip to Stillwater to celebrate my birthday with mom. We've decided to get together on Wednesday instead. I hated to cancel, but again--I needed a day to rest and relax. Aside from the relatively short video shoot and a quick grocery stop, that's what I've done.

I was in line at the post office on Friday, my birthday, when an acquaintance, also waiting in line, asked, "Are you going to have a piece of birthday cake?" I replied with a smile, simply, "oh no, wouldn't do that." Then she asked, "So, don't you get a cheat day or a break every once in a while?"

I've written about this and talked about it so much, that I try to not spend too much time explaining it from the beginning, every time. My challenge in this situation is to politely and quickly reply something that makes sense without rambling on and on. Life Coach Gerri would likely advise a simple, "Nope," or maybe a "Nope, and I like it that way!"
Brevity has never been my strong suit. I kept it relatively short, considering it's me we're talking about.

Here's what I said: "I treat my abstinence from refined sugar with the same reverence an alcoholic in successful recovery treats their sobriety. It's that critical to my continued recovery and a side effect of my recovery, I believe, will continue to be maintaining a healthy weight. Over a year and a half into my abstinence and it's proven to be the best nutritional decision I've ever made."
I didn't go into the peace and clarity I've found or any of the non-visual emotional/mental elements of my transformation. I didn't mention how I eat well, better than ever, actually. I didn't go into how I actually love what I eat--and how I don't eat things I can't stand simply because "they're good for me" or considered "diet food." I didn't mention how this entire experience, seven years in the making, has turned out to be a long search full of trial and error and an eventual embrace of a groove that works well for me. I didn't mention how I'm happier now than I've ever been in my entire life--and not because I've lost weight--but because I've discovered a love of self, nurturing the core elements of me, and essentially redefining from where I obtain my self-worth/identity. But, you know what?

Maybe I should have mentioned all of these things...then asked a question of my own:

Why would I want to cheat myself out of this or take a break from this experience?
My Tweets Today:

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Normally, no matter what happens in the world, this blog carries on without missing a beat. It's that way for a reason. Never again will I use the tragedies of the world to excuse self-destructive behavior, as in "with everything that's happened, it makes what I'm doing seem insignificant in the big picture. I'll revisit this whole taking extraordinary care thing another time, when things are better." This type of self-enabling thought process is disguised as a selfless act of concern.

How would not taking care improve what's happened? It doesn't. This thought process is guaranteed to keep us down, because when things get better, something else happens, somewhere.

Here's what I believe happens in the above described thought process: We put everything on the same importance scale. It becomes tragic and senseless loss of life VS. making the personal choices needed in taking continued good care. Of course the tragic happenings are always more important than any single fundamental element of our success, truly--but it's winning a comparison that shouldn't have been made to begin with.
Heartbreaking news came from my hometown this morning. The Oklahoma State Homecoming Parade, the parade I grew up looking forward to each year, was marred by an event so unthinkable and horrible, it's very difficult to get it out of mind. A car, driven by a twenty-five year old whom police suspect was under the influence of alcohol or drugs, crashed into parade spectators at a high rate of speed. Four people were killed. Several more critically injured. Even more hospitalized with lesser injuries. One of the killed was a two year old. That really hit me.
The families directly affected by this entire tragedy are in need of tremendous prayers and healing. I can't even begin to imagine the level of pain and grief they're experiencing.

The life stream we navigate sure can become challenging. But it doesn't need to preempt taking care of ourselves.

The gut instinct that says "there are more important things in the world," is certainly true. There are, absolutely. But for the sake of our own personal well being, our individual elements of care shouldn't be placed on the same scale in comparison.

Hug those close to you. Love 'em and please, continue taking extraordinary care.

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It's been a very long day. My activity level was my exercise. I don't have a fitbit stat to tell me how much I did in the way of calorie burn, but it was a bunch, I'm sure.

Moving my sound equipment from storage to a wedding celebration and setting it up for someone else to operate was first, then home to get ready for a broadcast from a new BBQ restaurant followed by emceeing a benefit rock concert festival--all made today and tonight a physical challenge. It was a good challenge. Well worth the efforts of the day.

Friday, October 23, 2015

Today was exceptional. It had every reason to be something less than that, but it wasn't. It was a feel good day all the way around. I enjoyed good food, had a wonderful workout, dined out for my birthday with my daughters and my grandson Noah, then watched the Royals earn another trip to the World Series.

I enjoyed my 44th birthday to the fullest!
We had a fantastic time!

After dinner, I made my way over to the sports bar down the street from my apartment. I wanted to watch the Royals. It turned out to be worth it, despite the rain delay! The Kansas City Royals are going to the World Series again

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What's This All About?

"What's this all about? It's about progress, not perfection. It's about how you feel, not a number. It's about you and for you, not about or for anyone else. It's about living, not dying. It's about dreaming, not dreading. It's about freedom, not imprisonment. It's about opening your mind to the possibilities, not closing it to the changes. It's about acceptance, not rejection. It's about nourishing, not depriving. It's about a broadly consistent importance level, not short bursts of narrow focus. It's about wanting, not forcing. It's about doing your best, not trying to do another's best. It's about today, not tomorrow, or next week or the first of the month or January 1st. It's about committing to consistency with all your heart and holding on tight, not a halfhearted commitment easily released with the slightest breeze. It's about you deserving better, because you do. It's about you being important, because you are important." --Sean Anderson

The start. 505 pounds.

Before--Over 500 pounds

Before & Now

Before: Over 500lbs "After" photo: Around 220-230. Current weight: Between 206-210

About Sean Anderson

This blog started as a daily account of what became a 275 pound weight loss. The archives contain over 1,700 individual blog posts. Sean hit his goal weight of 230 in November 2010 and maintained for 1.5 years. Then spent the following 1.5 years regaining 164 pounds. The daily postings from April 2014 to present, chronicle Sean's successful turnaround from relapse/regain. Currently weighing around 204 and maintaining well, Sean continues to write daily about the practices and disciplines of his continued recovery.