The Jezebel inbox receives all sorts of interesting messages, from helpful tips to furious gibberish. Often, the missives strike us as poetic — in the chaos of the mailbag, we can find a sense of peace. As such, we have taken it upon ourselves to let some messages grow into the poetry they are meant to be. And we will do so by presenting them as Haikus. We can always count on The Whackadoo to come out in full force whenever we write about why, in almost all cases, it's stupid to not vaccinate your kids, and responses to Getting Measles Trendy Among Babies Whose Asshole Parents Didn't Vaccinate Them didn't disappoint. Spelling, punctuation, and spacing are [sic].