Please Welcome the Return of the Famous Jay-Z Gas Face

February 19, 2010

Let no one say Shawn Carter is not reliable. For two decades now, through rap thick and rap thin, hip-hop’s most prickly superstar has had the looking-disgusted game on lock. Oh, you’re Benny the Bull, the Chicago Bulls mascot, and you’re seized with the desire to do the “Single Ladies” dance mere inches away from Jay-Z during an All-Star game time-out? That’s cool. Go ahead, start the video 40 seconds in. Just know that you’re going to get this face:

Every time you or anyone else does anything like this at any kind of a sporting event, you are going to get this face:

Even you Beyonce, Tyra Banks, and Kimora Lee Simmons:

Bodyguards will not protect you:

A luxurious, honey-colored blazer will not blunt the pain:

Rest assured, though. There is a nuclear option here and you will be spared it. That level of scorn is reserved for only one man, and your name is not Robin Thicke:

If that mascot had been dancing to “Meiple,” he’d be lying in a pool of fur and blood right now.