Top 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Going to Disneyworld

10. Flying with a recently turned 3-year-old is WAY better than flying with a recently turned 2-year-old. OMG, Seriously. Last year my kid screamed until she puked and kicked neighboring passengers for 5 hours straight. This year? Sat like a little dream baby watching Frozen and sucking her lollipop (so what if it was 8am?? WHATEVER WORKS PEOPLE). I could have saved myself a LOT of night sweats knowing that I wasn’t, in fact, voluntarily heading back into the lion’s den.

9. No one cares what you wear. Crocs (not the cute kind), fanny packs, and brightly colored over-sized cartoon t-shirts abound at Disney! Think people will be giving your yoga pants the side-eye? Nope! You’re good.

8. It’s not that much walking. Yeah, it’s a lot, but not really *that* much. Certainly not enough to work off the 3 desserts and 2 cocktails daily. (Don’t ask me how I know)

7. You will gain weight at Disney. (Don’t ask me how I know)

6. There are desserts everywhere! Cupcakes coming out my ears and enough chocolate cookies to fill a room! Desserts at just about every meal! And for this reason, signing up for an extra “Dessert Party” is plain silly. (But, if you are already signed up, you might was well take advantage. That’s just common sense.). See #7.

5. Despite hours spent on meticulous planning to ensure that your family gets on all the best rides, meets all your kids’ favorite characters, and makes the absolute most of each day, your kids will come home and tell everyone that the highlight of their trip was the hotel pool. Cocktail please!

4. Pre-purchase, pack, and bring ponchos into the parks with you daily. If you don’t, you will inevitably have to throw elbows to battle your way to the front of a line of 283745934 other people who also did not plan ahead during a rain shower in Magic Kingdom to pay dearly for what is essentially a garbage bag with a hole in the top. Still cursing myself for poor preparation on that one…if only I had stayed in Girl Scouts past kindergarten, surely this would not have happened.

3. Disney is not, in fact, a magical dream world in which children of all ages are inspired to act like perfect angels 24/7. It surprised me at first, but it turns out that my kids still acted like my kids at Disney. There was some whining, bickering, and a temper tantrum or 2. Bummer.

2. Disney is not, in fact, a magical dream world in which parents are inspired to act like perfect angels 24/7. It surprised me at first, but it turns out that I still acted like me at Disney. There was some whining, bickering, and a temper tantrum or 2. Bummer.

1. Forgetting about the inevitable human moments at the happiest place on earth, there really is a magic in the air. The truth is that I went to Disney to appease my wife and kids. They had been asking forever and I gave in (my down payment on getting to pick our next trip!). But by the time we left, I bought the “Magic of Disney” hook, line, and sinker. The excitement, the service, the beloved characters, the childhood stories we’ve all heard…There is just something about the way you smile at Disney that isn’t quite like anywhere else in the world.

You guys are SUCH a lovely couple 🙂 I love your little family!!! I also love how honest you are. We took our 18 month old for one day to Disney a few weeks ago (just to say we went), and it was SO fun! This is definitely the time of year to go.