In order to honor the tireless, thankless work of actors (all they get is fame and fortune—what about the masturbatory awards shows?!?), here is the mother of Oscar thank you speeches. Oscar Fever—it's spreading. Get the ointment!

So this is pretty funny, I guess. But on a related note, why am I not as pumped as I usually am for The Oscars this year? The movies were good, I'm sure Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin will do a fine job steering the ship, but it just seems like something is missing from the usual hype and giddiness for this year's race.