SCROLL DOWN THE RIGHT HAND COLUMN FOR THANET EVENTS, RESTAURANTS AND ATTRACTIONS

Monday, May 12, 2008

Turn On, Tune In, Drop Off

Yikes! According to yesterday's excellent Kent On Sunday, your taxpayer funded Kent TV has failed to meet its visitor targets in the first eight months since its launch.

Despite enjoying a hefty £1.6m subsidy, the station only attracted just over 20,000 visitors in March, well down on its 50,000 target. And considerably down, I might add, on my latest contribution to ECR TV, which got 30,000 hits in the space of a few days - and at absolutely no cost to you! The Kent County Council channel, which is run by Sir Gob's Ten Alps production company, was also projected to make £260,000 in advertising and sponsorship in its second year, but so far has only picked up a woeful £10,000.

KCC's opposition Labour group says it is becoming increasingly concerned that 'the protestations of political even-handedness are being slowly eroded with certain prospective parliamentary candidates being given preferential billing, while the local election coverage has been cleverly unbalanced.' Which was dismissed, rather arrogantly if you ask me, by a Ten Alps spokeswoman as 'playground party politics'.

Still, you have to read the story with more than a modicum of sodium chloride, since Kent On Sunday is owned by KOS Media, which in turn produces rival yourKentTV, where a viewing figure of more than 20 is a cause for celebration and treble gin and tonics all round!

I think local government are using the internet wrongly, what we want to be able see TV wise are council meetings. We also want to be able to raise issues publicly with something like the national governments online petitions. We also want to be able comment on matters and see the comments of others and the council’s responses. I think most people in local government must realise this but are afraid to act in this way.

Kent TV, Huh. I'll tell you what to do, turn the council meetings into a Big Brother type situation and give them mindless tasks to complete (they probably do that anyway). Also get a load of lezzers in for some serious hot babe orgy action (after the watershed of course). That'll pull in the punters and sponsorship. Maybe ECR could offer up a home movies section on ECR TV (Television not Transvestite)

2.4 The risks are low, particularly compared to the enormous opportunities Kent TV offers. The main potential risks are outlined below:1) Income generation (see paragraph 4) may not meet expectations initially. This is low risk as we have already received significant interest in sponsorship and the company providing Kent TV will have a role in generating income.2) Maximising viewing figures. This is also low risk as the channel is very broad so will appeal to a range of people locally, nationally and internationally. The quality of the channel will be high and we will obtain feedback, thereby ensuring the channel is meeting public demand. This will be key to overcoming this risk and ensuring viewing figures are high.

What experience have these highly paid people in running media organisations or any big corp?

At the current drop off rate, by the pantomine season they will be able to give each viewer a DVD player, plasma tv and save some money.

Surely Sir Bob has overlooked local talent to front some more veiwer grabbing shows. Jimmy Godden does Property Ladder {slightly charred} How about Antiques road show with Mr Hilton of the ubiquitious Jewelry shop? and of course our very own Sandy Shagpile could do local authority cage fighting last man standing, dosh bosh luverly juberly

Overheard in Thanet

Is your hot chocolate gluten free?Man at kioskJust wait til I get hold of yer, yer cunt. Yer fuckin' door won't save yer!Man on phone in streetThere were dead bodies everywhere at my fuckin' birfday do. No, seriously, my missus had to give one bloke CPR!Man on phone in streetYer can't smoke in a petrol station can yer? Fuck it, I'm gonna light up anyway. If I blow meself up I'm gonna charge you compensation!Woman to staff member at petrol stationWhat happened to all those Socialist Workers eh? They joined the bloody Labour Party, that's what!Man to woman in WaitroseSo I grabbed the fuckin' potato peeler and stabbed the cunt.Man sitting outside barTwitter? That's the bit between a bird's twat and her shitter, isn't it?Man on trainYou know the medicine they give us was invented by the Germans in WW2 for their troops, so they could be shot?Man on streetYeah, well, he's a fucking bald headed cunt.Man at Margate football matchYou better choose your sweets, inch yer! I'm not a bleedin' psychic, inn I?Woman to small childI like haring but I don't like it when the dog just bites into it an' it fuckin' screams and then you 'ave to go an' chop it.Man in restaurantI'm a registered businessman!Man on phone in streetI luv 'im, even though 'e raped me an' bit me. 'Cos 'e respecks me.Woman talking to man in streetChild to baboon in animal park: 'Ello!Mother: Don't talk, MatthewChild: Why?Mother: 'Cos it's an animal.

If you come on and start having a go at Margate, it immediately puts everyone's shackles up.

Man talking about the warm-up act at the Alexei Sayle gig at the Theatre Royal, Margate'We are not expecting widespread flooding; however precautions have been deployed and we are doing our upmost to ensure all areas are secure and protected.'Thanet Council press release

Did You Know?

Richard's Thanisaurus

Bignews Margaten. a fatuous blog that pays lip service to 'freedom of speech' but shits its britches at the first sign of trouble. Contributor: anonymous.

Much of the reason we experience noise on landing over Ramsgate is because training flights are precisely that. Half the time the pilots get too low and have to put their engines on... They are training and get it wrong! - Local pilot

Libel

Corrections and Additions

Eastcliff Richard is an opinion-based blog. If you disagree with something you read, feel free to leave a comment to that effect. If you want to take it further, a friendly request for a correction or addition, stating your reasons, will almost certainly get better results, and cost you less, than instructing a lawyer. Email richardeastcliff@yahoo.co.uk

It may be crap, but your self congratulatory hype is hugely entertaining - Anonymous

In Ramsgate, Eastcliff Richard punning on the town’s division into East and West Cliffs takes the palm, its witty creator concealed behind the persona of a media moghul who might, to judge from accompanying sketch, have been played by Terry Thomas. - Country Life

I have asked Eastcliff Richard to remove defamatory statements, he has refused, make of it what you will. - Tony Flaig, Bignews Margate

The King of Thanet bloggers - Ray Parker

Unceasingly defeatist - Save Dreamland Campaign

An anonymous spouter of spiteful drivel - Tory Councillor Chris Wells

A lazy, workshy, badly educated, sexually defective, ugly, scummy loser with delusions of grandeur stuck in a tiny little world which he seems to regard as fascinating. - The real Rebecca

Followers

Subscribe To

WIKIO RANK (UK)

Disclaimer

The Thanet Daily is a humour/satire/local gossip blog based on the Isle of Thanet in Kent. Opinions expressed on this site may not be suitable for minors, wilting flowers, or duffers. The content, opinions and comments contained in this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of its author(s), fictional or otherwise. The Thanet Daily accepts no responsibility legal or otherwise for their accuracy of content. The Thanet Daily is not responsible for the content of external internet sites. Actually, if truth be told, the whole thing is a crock of shit.