Friday, April 10, 2009

From the leaves of an aged journal, found somewhere in the lining of a house, being used as insulation.

“During a late night conversation with Dr. Collabus, I sensed his concern for the colony of Indian Jeweled Starfish he kept as pets. His fear was that the starfish, being unable to move very quickly, would be unable to avoid the monstrous man-eating anemones’ grasp, tragically becoming the anemones’ foodstuffs. Not only did this lead to the reduction of the rare Indian Jeweled Starfish, but also lead to the cessation of hunger in the anemones. Such a depressing thing, as the anemones were to protect the good doctor’s underwater entrance to his lair, and having full anemones means many more callers…”-- Journal, 1827

Above are an excerpt from a patent application for the Professor’s “Bicycle for Asteroidea” and the later propeller- and chum cannon- fitted “Pod for Asteroidea”. The starfish would attach himself to the starfish-shaped pan with a substance called “strapping gel” which allowed the suction cup feet of the starfish free to operate the machinery. The later pod also had a retractable hatch on the bottom of the craft to allow the starfish to evert the cardiac stomach into prey, or-- in the case of being snared by an anemone or similar predator-- everting the cardiac and digesting the offending predator from the inside out.