Stuck on the Plane

I think the longest plane ride I’ve ever taken has been 12 hours. The longest leg of our flight to Hawaii is only six, but for me any plane ride past four hours is grueling. Cars are worse.

I cannot sleep on airplanes. I’ve tried every position I can think of: Leaning to the left, leaning to the right, head resting on the seat in front of me, on the tray table, leaning on my hand, hugging my knees, resting my head on my bag in my lap–it doesn’t matter. I won’t be comfortable. Even the neck pillow doesn’t do anything for me.

Curse you neck pillow!!!

So, while I’m not sleeping, I thought I’d blog. Here are the things I hate most about airplanes:

1. Recline limits on seats. I know, I know… They’re there so the guy in front of me doesn’t rest his chair in my lap. But are we honestly supposed to call this position recline? We’ve basically gone from cello chair to park-bench-with-cushions chair. Unless you have a seat next to a window, how you are able to get any amount of sleep aside from dozing is beyond me.

2. The “free” movies. These selections would be better suited for MST3K. Maybe I’ve just been on the wrong airplanes lately, but I rarely see anything above a B movie on the plane anymore. I guess they know those of us too uncomfortable to sleep will have no choice but to watch what’s available. I especially dislike flights where we all have to watch the same movie. At least let me choose which boring movie I’m going to pass the time with.

Seriously? I have to watch it on this?

3. Snacks. Sometimes they’re free, sometimes not, but certainly don’t count on them satisfying the hunger inside you. The flight I’m currently on wants your $$$ for anything more than 4oz of soda, heavy on the ice. Good thing I brought my own tasty snacks! 🙂

4. Space Takers. Obese people, people who managed to somehow sneak seven carry-on items on, people who like taking a nap on your shoulder–all space takers, all obnoxious. I’m not hating, it’s just that I shelled out some serious $$$ for my cramped little 1-inch reclining seat, and I expect to be able to use 100% of that limited space. Since this is becoming more and more of a problem, airlines should take note and take action. (Fortunately on this flight I am sans-space takers.)

5. Closed Air Space. Brought tunafish sandwiches on board? Got to have your cheese popcorn? The rest of us thank you for your smelly delights–especially those of you who couldn’t wait until the you-know-where to rip the you-know-what. Where’s it going to go? Honestly! It’s not like we can open a window. *sigh*

Comic courtesy of a napkin.

I could probably make a longer list, but that basically sums it up.

However, I don’t want to be all negative. I do appreciate very much that I don’t have to spend hours longer driving in a car, or taking a boat to these places. I love that I’m basically sitting in a chair that is flying 500+ miles per hour through the air. It’s awesome!

I just get a little grouchy when I can’t sleep. What can I say? 😉

This is Jae, coming to you live thousands of feet above you, stuck on an airplane.

All right people, dish. What bothers you the most about airplane travel? If you could change one thing about it, what would it be? Let me know in the comments below.

I hate flying, hate it, so I feel for you. Great idea to blog during and pass the time. Living in Australia, one needs to get use to long flights. To get to Europe it’s 24hrs, to get to the US, it’s a little less but not much. The only place within a few hours is New Zealand and who wants to go there ( kidding, kidding.)
I too hate the space takers. Move anywhere near my seat and I can become dangerous. I want all of my tiny allocated seat. Talkers; hate them. Just because you’re stuck next to me for the next day, doesn’t meant I want to talk to you, other than to tell you to get your wide self away from my seat. WOW, who know I hated flying that much. Glad I got that off my chest.

I think we’re in complete agreement on flying. 100% Thanks for venting with me. Good gracious though, 24 hours?! I’ll have too work up to it… Yeah, I’d be real stingy with my seat space on that long of a flight.

Whatever you do, don’t get a seat near the bathroom. 😦 Other than the funky smells (deodorant people, need I say more?), I don’t mind flying. The longest flight I took was 16 hours to Saudi Arabia when I was still in the Air Force. Good thing I got to ride in one of my own planes! I also can’t sleep on an airplane, or strange places. Don’t know what it is. The parents who don’t watch their kids really, really, irritate me. I like kids just fine, but when they are running up the aisle, or kicking the crap out of the back of your seat, the patience goes pretty quickly. I like to listen to music to pass the time. Hope the ride home is a little better. BTW, napkin doodles rule!

I’ve been on an airplane. Once. I don’t even remember where we were going; actually I think it was a funeral. But I was a munchkin so my opinions were “woohoo – we’re flying!”.
Now – I’m with the guy from the Mummy; I’d prefer to keep my feet on the ground.
Riding in a car relaxes me and puts me to sleep sometimes by the way.