Relationships, Career, Weird Tangents… so basically Everything

My Debt is 71% Gone

Oh yeah, baby! You read correctly. 71%… of the original $19,500… gone! I started working on paying it off in October 2016.

In all honestly, I could eliminate the rest of it right now but my savings would take a hit.

How have I been pay it off? Well, I used $3k from my savings. And about $2k from my tax return. On top of that, $1k every month from my day job plus most of the $ from my side job taking external pics of real estate on the weekends.

Honestly, I did owe a ton to my therapist, Sheila. She helped put a fire under me, got me on a budget and pushed me to transfer a good chunk of the debt to 0% cards.

AND she pushed me to get my second job.

Now, ok, those are not what I think of when I hear “therapy.” I mean, I knew 0% cards and side jobs exist in theory but… I still wasn’t getting any before seeing her. So would every therapist have made the same suggestions? Possibly. I wouldn’t think the Master’s of Social Work program covers debt consolidation. I’d think this is more Common Sense that I was lacking. Which I guess is a big reason to see a therapist.

As you may remember, my reason for seeing Sheila in the first place was because my gf Mona mandated it:

A. Because Sheila’s engrained in Mona’s life, especially dealing with her kids. Sheila has power to approve or veto suitors for long term potential.

B. Sheila knows Mona’s life in general and can help me navigate that world.

C. She’s really good and can give me a kick on the ass when needed.

D. I’m 44, single, don’t make even close to a lot of money, until 42 years old my longest relationship was 6 months. So yeah. Therapy couldn’t hurt.

It is a conflict of interest for your girlfriend’s therapist to be working with you as well. You should have your own therapist who doesn’t have a conflict of interest due to bring your girlfriend’s therapist. An occasional couples session is ok, but if there are ongoing couples issues (which there clearly are) the only ethical option is for you both to be referred to a couples counselor. I am a therapist and every time you describe seeing her therapist, it makes me worried for you, because I don’t think anyone is looking out for your best interests. At a minimum, please get your own therapist. Issues with Mona will continue to come up, and you need someone who is YOUR advocate. But ideally she has a therapist, you have a therapist and you see a couple therapist together.