15 words to add to the retirement lexicon

Joe Hearn is Vice President of Teckmeyer Financial and has been helping
clients plan for retirement for nearly 20 years. He writes the popular
IntentionalRetirement blog
and is the author of
two books: If Something Happens to Me and The Bell Lap: The 8
Biggest Mistakes to Avoid as You Approach Retirement. You can email
questions or comments to Joe at
joe@intentionalretirement.com or connect with him on Twitter
@jrhearn,
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I'd like to take a moment to thank the good people at Merriam-Webster and Oxford dictionaries.

Each year they faithfully add hundreds of new words in an effort to help us all communicate more efficiently and effectively. After all, without those additions, how would we know the difference between fracking and twerking?

I mean seriously. How did our ancestors survive without acronyms like MOOC and YOLO? And without words like selfie, how would we describe carefully choreographed, deceptively flattering photos of ourselves? Vanity photo? Ego pic? Those sound so ... narcissistic.

So in the interest of a more perfect lexicon, I have a few submissions I'd like to make for 2014.

Below are 15 retirement words that don't exist, but should (feel free to suggest your own in the comments section below):

1) Benboozle: verb. See also benboozled, benboozling. To deceive retirement savers into believing that they have enough money, only to make it incredibly difficult for them to generate retirement income due to financial repression and a policy of 0% interest rates similar to that instituted by Ben Bernanke. I thought my nest egg was adequate until Bernanke came along and benboozled me.

2) Boomerboomerang: noun. A person who retires, but misses the challenge and social interaction of their job, so they return to work either full or part-time.

3) Casabanka: noun. A house that is used to fund one's retirement via a reverse mortgage. If our nest egg isn't big enough, we may need to withdraw money from casabanka.

4) CRLP: slang. Cash Rich, Lifestyle Poor. Acronym used to describe a person who treats retirement solely as a math problem. They have enough money, but don't use it to enjoy life.

5) Doughphobia: noun. An abnormal fear of outliving your money.

6) Fibflation: noun. A false estimate of the general rise in prices used by the government to justify an unfair cost of living adjustment in Social Security.

7) Globetalker: noun. A person who talks frequently about the globe-trotting and travel that they have either done or plan on doing.

8) Jobby: noun. plural jobbies. A hobby that you enjoy and are passionate about that you turn into a job or second career during retirement. Running the bed-and-breakfast is a jobby of mine.

9) Maximalist: noun. A person who lives life thoroughly and to the full. Similar to how a minimalist will structure their life around minimizing possessions, a maximalist will structure their life around maximizing experiences.

10) Moneymoon: noun. That brief period after you retire when you're more concerned about having meaningful experiences than you are about running out of money. The bills from our African Safari came in today and unfortunately, the moneymoon is over.

11) Refire: verb. See also refired, refiring. When a person retires sooner than they expected because they got fired, downsized or laid off. Matt refired from his job at the factory when they brought in a machine to replace him.

12) Someday Window: noun. The wonderful window of time during life when you are retired, healthy and able to do all the things that you've been putting off until "someday." [Note: See "Someday is Here!" for ideas on making the most of your someday window.]

13) Taxile: noun. A retiree who leaves their home state due to an unfavorable tax structure. I haven't always lived in Florida. I'm a taxile from Nebraska.

14) To-Don’t List: noun. A list of tasks, activities or obligations that you plan to quit doing once you retire, usually organized in order of priority. This is my last year as club president. Once I retire, it’s totally going at the top of my To-Don’t List.

15) YOLHO: slang. You Only Leave Home Once. Acronym used by empty-nesters to deny their adult children permission to move back home when the latter are struggling with the poor economy or bad job prospects.

Do you have a favorite or two from the list? Feel free to share this article on Facebook or Twitter and be sure to tag @MerriamWebster or @OED. With a bit of luck we'll get a few new words added to the dictionary for future generations of retirees.

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