Friday, November 28, 2008

New car jargon from Mini

Brewnesia n. The condition of forgetting your coffee on the roof of your car and driving off.

Carligraphy n. The art of writing on a dirty vehicle with your finger.Careoke v. To sing while motoring.Cartesy n. The generous act of letting another car merge into your lane.Cashtray n. A car ashtray that's been repurposed as a coin holder.Clutchuoso n. A talented driver of a car with a standard transmission. A rare breed.Commutant n. Someone with a poor shave or makeup job as a result of doing it on the way to work.Disflooriented adj. Feeling of confusion when you can't remember what level of the parking garage you're on.Driversion n. Something that distracts a driver, such as a cell phone conversation, DVD player or PDA.E-cellerate v. To drive with the emergency brake on.Enigmark n. A dent or paint scrape to which the origin is unknown.Farking Spot n. A seemingly open parking space that when you get closer, you discover a small car parked there.

Flashole n. That person who flashes you with their brights even though your brights aren't on. Freeter n. A parking meter that already has time on it.Foodabuster v. To speak slowly at the drive through window so you can stall for time while still making your decision.Insectiride n. A vehicle that has just killed an extraordinary amount of bugs on its grille or windshield.Interstucktion n. When multiple cars arrive at a stop sign and no one goes.Notmeflex n. The involuntary act of hitting the brakes when you see a cop regardless of whether you're speeding or not. Obstacar n. A slow moving vehicle that keeps you from going your desired speed.Poorlainoia n. The fear that you're always in the slowest moving lane.Potholevard n. A street with a large number of potholes on it.Premature Co-pilotation v. To call "shotgun" too early.Prohibiturn n. To perform a driving move you think might be illegal, yet you do it anyway.Roverdrive v. The dangerous act of motoring with a dog on your lap. Not recommended.Rockupied adj. When you're physically unable to leave the car until a song is over.Seatus quo n. The normal position of your car seat. May be upset by valets and other new drivers.Shoegitive n. The mysterious sneaker you always see on the side of the road.Spalker n. A vehicle that follows shoppers in the parking lot in hopes of getting their spot.Spumped adj. Condition that occurs when you get to the gas station but can't remember what side your tank is on.Waltermonstale n. A bumper sticker for a presidential election long since passed.Wiperfection n. The ideal wiper speed for the amount of rain currently falling.