Some Frank Thoughts About Weinergate

I’m not supposed to be writing this, I’m supposed to be cleaning up the place for Boodles and Tania’s visit in a couple days, but I had to chime in on this whole Rep. Anthony Weiner thing.

In case you’ve been on Mars for the past couple of weeks, I’ll let you check out a link then come back and read my comments.

Got it?

Yeah, so once again a political figure gets caught doing something he shouldn’t…and sends pictures.

Of course he didn’t actually cheat on his wife. He only sent pictures of his man unit to – what is it now, four women? I’m sorry but that’s bullshit. As far as I’m concerned he might as well have cheated. It’s an intent thing. Like Bill Clinton didn’t cheat with Monica because all they did was oral. Bullshit. Oral is sex. That’s why they call it oral sex.

Now, because this is a world famous blog I can hear you saying, “But Joe, heer in France wee don’t have zee problem weeth our leeders having zee meestresses because we are European.”

Also…respectfully. Bullshit.

Look. We all make mistakes. When I was married, I didn’t cheat. Did I think about it? Yes. Did I look upon a woman lustfully? Yes. Did I act on it? No.

Does that make me a better person? No.

Does it mean that I acted slightly less stupidly than Weiner Clinton Edwards Gingrich Ensign Vitter Schwarzenegger etc? Yes.

I also have the benefit of the fact that nobody except for God, my family, and a few close friends give a flying fluffernutter what I do. Now, that may change. Someday I will step out of the shadows and reveal my true identity, publish my book, go on Oprah (oh…..right), and become hugely well known but for now nobody cares if I mess up.

But here’s the thing. If I mess up…I mean when I mess up, and when you mess up, be honest about it. Rep. Weiner went on for a week denying that he did anything and a lot of us believed him because…

a.) There really is a vast right wing conspiracy of Breitbarts and Limbaughs who love to see outspoken liberal Democrats get shot down, and

b.) Weiner? Are you freaking kidding me? That’s too easy! If my first, middle, or last name was a euphemism for a male sexual organ I would never even go near a camera. That’s precisely the reason you hardly ever see pictures of The Right Honorable Dick Ballcock Wang.

Anyway, Weiner lied about it, then he finally had to fess up, and now he’s fighting for his political life. If he had just admitted it right off the bat, the story probably would have gone away. Hell, conservatives think Democrats are all family hating baby killing sex having heathen sinner slimebuckets anyway, so it wouldn’t have been a big deal.

Bill Clinton was almost hounded out of office because he denied the fact that he was unable to keep his pants on in the White House. If he had admitted it right away he could have saved himself, his party, and the nation a lot of grief. I think the press conference would have gone a bit like this:

PRESS: Mr. President, is it true that you’ve been having carnal relations with someone other than Mrs. Clinton?

CLINTON: Yeah, I gotta tell ya. I’ve been poking more babes than a cactus in a nursery. What’s your point?

PRESS: Um…nothing, sir. Sorry to bother you.

CLINTON: No problem, now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got a four-way to get to.

So here’s my point. We’re all human. We mess up. Maybe not sexually but we all mess up. We do stupid things. When you do mess up, whether you’re in the public eye or not, be real about it. Be accountable…to your God, to your family and friends, to the people you trust.

That’s all I have to say. Of course, as always, I welcome your comments.