Happy Valentine’s Day!

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!

This time last year, I was 39 weeks pregnant and ready to meet my little guy! Little did I know that he would actually arrive SIX DAYS after his estimated due date. (Exactly why it’s ESTIMATED, right?) An extra six days may seem like a walk in the park to some of you Mega Moms… but me? Me, I was in agony. That was six extra days of bloating, back pain, insomnia, waddling, swollen ankles, and achy bones. Even my TOENAILS were in pain.

Valentine’s Day ’09

Seriously, I don’t see how some of you do it. You make pregnancy look so easy and… fun! But for me, during the first four months, I was so weak that it put even a bad case of the flu to shame. I didn’t have the energy to WIPE OFF THE COUNTERS.

That’s some serious fatigue.

But hey. It takes a lot of energy to GROW A LUNG, right?

And oh, the morning sickness. I couldn’t keep anything down. Nothing. I remember before I could even get out of bed in the mornings, Paul had to bring me a glass of apple juice and some saltines. And he was not allowed to jostle the bed. And yes, that included NO WIGGLING HIS TOES.

The morning sickness was so over-the-top vicious that just the SOUND of someone farting made me throw up. Seriously. Whenever I heard someone fart, even if they were in the other room, I would puke. And everything, I mean EVERY. THING. made me gag. But not just a regular old gag. No, I would gag like I was about to projectile-puke up a massive hairball. WHO DOES THAT?? Well, folks. Apparently I do when I am pregnant.

And get this. I would throw up and the very sight of it would make me throw up even more… so before you knew it, I was on this vicious cycle of throwing up, which made me throw up, which made me throw up… so yeah, I was in the bathroom constantly. It was becoming my second home.

Then there was the second trimester. It was easier than the first for me because the extreme fatigue and nausea finally subsided when I was about 18 weeks pregnant… but then the body aches started. And I had this uncontrollable urge to thoroughly clean and reorganize the entire house.

Only I had this intense back pain that only abated when I wore HEELS.

As in, HIGH HEELS.

So here I was, in my second trimester with a bulging belly and sweat pants (because you know how important comfort is to pregnant women) and high heels, cleaning the kitchen.

The third trimester?

IT FELT LIKE DEATH.

Oh, the pain. Pain, pain, pain. Every single step I took was agony. My feet were swollen. My toes cramped a lot. And my back? It felt like someone had jammed a hot poker into my lower back and left it there, jostling it every couple of minutes for some extra oomph. And constant peeing. The most sleepless night I ever had, I got up to pee nine times..

NINE TIMES. IN ONE NIGHT.

But you know what? Even though I had a painful pregnancy that was nothing like the giddyness that I had imagined, I wouldn’t give any of that up for anything, though. My little guy is so worth it! And I would go through all of that and worse just to have him here with me. And I know there are so, so many women out there who would give anything to be able to get pregnant. I am very fortunate… and all the “negatives” about pregnancy just give me something to joke about later.

So here I was, in my second trimester with a bulging belly and sweat pants (because you know how important comfort is to pregnant women) and high heels, cleaning the kitchen. -I am laughing my butt off imagining this! But hey, we do what we have to do , and you’re so right they are worth every bit of it!

I didn’t have a fun pregnancy,either.I almost died on the table,having her.When you hear the words,”we got a bleeder” while they are pulling out your intestines,you start to worry.I hated being pregnant,between the not breathing aspect of the sinuses to the insane migraines from the surging hormones, i was in misery.I lived off of water and green apples the whole first trimester.I puked from brushing my teeth.Trust me,you weren’t alone in your misery.Like you,though,I don’t regret anything.my daughter Anna turns 3 in 2 weeks.Time speeds up as each day starts.

Eek!! Yeah, what you went through during delivery must have been VERY traumatic. And I remember how awful my sinuses were, I sounded like some sort of swamp monster with all the creepy noises I would make while trying to breathe. What really irked me about the whole pregnancy thing was SO many women who had already had babies told me how marvelous it was to be pregnant and they talked about it like it was pure bliss. WELL. It was NOTHING like what those women said. So either they were really damn lucky or lying through their teeth!!!

Yes,everyone i know did not love pregnancy,but they did blissfully love the outcome.All of my friends now have kids except for one,and her husband is a loser who won’t work(so that’s a good thing).I think all those women must’ve been crazy or liars,or BOTH.