Funny Movie Reviews and Recommendations

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Wednesday, November 04, 2009

"Zombieland" is the liveliest place on Earth

So the little girl in this picture is NOT Emma Stone. And thank God Emma stars in this one because everyone else in this film is a rabid dog and just not pretty to look at. Emma on the other hand is smokin', and it would be an understatement, btw, that the p*ss who plays the lead in Zombieland, Jessie Eisenberg, wants to dog f*ck her six ways to Sunday. I mean, after she ditches him a few times, he still comes runnin' after her like a byotch -- even when she's surrounded by 100 zombies. That's where I draw the line when it comes to chasin' skirt.

Anyway, my buddy and I just went to watch the film 'cause he's pretty much a girl and wouldn't go see Paranormal Activity. I wasn't all that thrilled to see a cheesy zombie film -- especially one that's billed with a Michael Cera-wannabe, a nobody director, Abigail Breslin and Woody Harrelson. Eh. Pretty much was dreading the gross people eating people and whatever other crap was gonna be served up. But then I was surprisingly entertained and was chortling and was even seriously considering biting the f*cking cheek right off this fugly chick sittin' right next to me (who was also delishiously enjoying herself). Just watch the movie trailer and read on because...

FilmBenderMovie Reviews are brainless and st*pid and tend to use more than one conjunction in a string of words. Will you like it? Well, there's some clever self-reference and narration on the rules of surviving in a world of zombies that spring up now and then adding to the levity and the hunger for info-nuggets those raised on Pop Up Video seem to need for survival. Plus there's a great cameo, some good sexual tension and lots of snappy dialogue and neck-snapping action. So if you can deal with the gratuitous gore, I bet you'll have loads of fun clenching your teeth as these gross little f*ckers come chasin' after you from one scene to the next.