Friday, February 04, 2011

This year in the Northeast US we're getting belted with tons and tons of snow and if you think I'm kidding, look at this statistic from the National Weather Service:

Regardless, here in New Hampshire and Massachusetts we've gotten FIFTY INCHES OF SNOW in 30 days which is okay with me because where I work a lot of people commute literally 60 miles except for me who commutes, like, 7.

This means a lot of people 'work from home' which means 'fuck off and play XBox or watch porn or both if time allows.'

At least for me.

But one morning after a storm I decided that I didn't want to finish the next level of Borderlands so I went into work.

Well that was a stupid idea.

On a related note, I always find it humorous to see laborers shoveling and plowing two feet of snow because they're all Mexicans for some reason and you just have to know they're thinking:

"Sonofabitch. I picked the wrong border to cross."

So I get in and send my entire group the picture along with this email:

If you're surprised Dan is missing a tooth then you are completely unfamiliar with New Hampshire and it's peoples.

Dan didn't reply but about an hour or so later my boss showed up so there goes my plan of heading home early.

So I wrote this post instead.

I guess it's a good thing I came to work then. Because I wouldn't have had the time to write this if I was home masturbating and playing XBox.

I mean, 'working from home.'

******************Update:

Since no one anywhere in the United States seems to be talking about all this snow, I figured I'd give you an idea of what it looks like up here in Southern New Hampshire.

This is a parking lot of a local mall where the guys plowing have just decided, instead, to make Mount Everest. And, yes, there is actually a FLAG on the top of this thing which is roughly 50 feet high:

Also, this is what it looks like in my apartment's parking lot if you don't bother to clean off your cars EVER:

Those are not monster trucks.

To give you an idea of how much snow is actually on that car, you can see the side-view mirror sticking out the side of the one closest.

Love your map! Glad you included PA in the "Shit loads of snow". I have friends who live in Maine and would probably agree with you!

I will admit I've amassed a great deal of upper body strength from all the shoveling (did you know slush is heavier than snow?). I figure by the end of March I'll be able to bench press 300lbs or take on rock climbing.

I will say they did a marvelous job plowing perfectly around those cars. Nice, neat edges. That's skill!

It's wonderful being retired and not having to go out in all that snow! But retired means "fixed income" and so far this winter I have had to shell out $175 to the guy who plows our driveway, $1700 for a new furnace, and $450 for a new hot water heater. This is not good. I may be featuring homemade peanut butter sandwiches on my "Sundays in My Neck of the Woods" blog postings!

Oh I hear your pain, I'm in San Diego and I woke up to a cruelly painful 49 degrees! Is there no God? This MUST be the end of the world... (birds falling dead, realizing Egypt is in Africa, snow snow snow, cold Southern California and no Kindle surprise toys in the US)

I'm in Oklahoma and "the national weather service" should have included it in the "not much snow but people freak the hell out anyway" section. We have barely a foot of snow and my kids haven't gone to school since Monday. WTF!?!?http://www.ashafullife.blogspot.com

One of my friends just went home form work crying because one of her co-workers told her if she's got cracks (yes I said crack) forming in her walls and her house is creaking she should be at home getting the fucking snow off of the roof.

i haven't left the house for about a week now. mainly bc there's about an inch of ice coating my front step which connects to the walkway which connects to the driveway and the possibility of having to wear a full body cast until July will really ruin all those hours i've been spending at the fake n baking this winter.

You know what's also fun about the snow, taking your dogs out and having them try to find a place to poop and then they drag you through the snow face down in your pajamas. That is almost as fun as defiling Missing Tooth Dan's mouse.

Our parking lot looks like that as well. Only with six foot snow banks on either side so it's like parking in a canyon. And also with lots of face prints on the snow and ice from me falling over and looking like an asshole. Today we had the first POSITIVE temps since November. Woo! Of course it's a temporary fluke. But hey. PLUS TWO BABY!

You don't have to wait to get home to masturbate. Those locks on the washroom stall doors are there for a reason (and it ain't just for pooping privacy). Not that I've done that. I just heard.Gotta run.I only have ten minutes before my shift ends.

"'work from home' which means 'fuck off and play XBox or watch porn or both if time allows.'" HAHAHA! I HATE those dudes that get to "work from home." Damn my short distance to work. And I love that you pointed out your asshole neighbor :-)

Oh, whatever, ya big baby! At least you have places to put it, because, you know, it's NEW HAMPSHIRE! New Hampshire was designed to store snow. It is one big storage facility. With trees. And Portsmouth. Come on down to NYC and try to find a place for the snow. Hell, even the rats are using skis.

Sorry bout your asshole neighbor but kudos on you going in during the snow storm. I had to go every freaking day here in PA and we got a shit ton of snow too. I love the stuff if I have nowhere to go...but if I have to drive in it...hate it. NOT because I'm scared but because of the snowtards that have no idea how to drive in it and panic making things dangerous for everyone else.

Sorry...can you tell I'm over winter? And honestly how hard of a concept is it...you clean it off a little here and there and then you don't have a good 200 lbs of snow to clean off...not that hard!

I live in the Southeast point of "This Might Be Canada" and our winter has been generally mild compared to most years. However, a couple days ago we got pounded with 20 inches of that white stuff (PUN!) and people have been living like abonible snow people who live in caves ever since. We seriously had to dig holes/trails from our doors.