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Randy Marsh Quotes

Randy: Yeah, the players should all wear bras! And instead of helmets, they should wear little tin-foil hats, because you know, it's the future, and we shouldn't be so barbaric!Principal Victoria: How will the bras and tin-foil hats make it safer?Randy: Oh, you're all not getting it, see, while we're at it, we'll have a balloon instead of a ball, and whoever catches the ballon will tries to run while all the other players hug!

Randy: Can't you see that if we fall to New Jersey, California is next?Schwarzenegger: No, because Utah is between Colorado and California.Randy: Fine. Well, when Utah gets taken over by New Jersey, then who's next?Schwarzenegger: Nevada.Randy: Oh really? Okay Mr. "I'm Awesome at Geography."

Randy: That word's kind of getting old. It's not really funny anymore.Man: Yeah, they're gonna have to come up with a new swear word now.Mr. Garrison: Well, they can't use "fag." Because you can't say "fag" unless you're a homosexual.Randy: Really? So we can't say (bleep)?Mr. Garrison: No. See, you got beeped.Man: You mean you have to be a (bleep) to say (bleep)?Mr. Garrison: That's right.Jimbo: Hell, that's not fair! I should be able to say "fag."Randy: Hey, you didn't get beeped.Jimbo: Uh, oh.Mr. Garrison: Well well well! Guess we learned something new about you, Jimbo, you freakin' fag! You wanna make out or something?

Principal: Hello, boys.Stan: Wait, what's going on here?Kyle: Alright look, we don't know for sure why Cartman is ditching school, but it has something to do with abortions.That's all we know. Mr. Mackey: You didn't do anything wrong, boys; We just need to talk to you. Have a seat.(Stan and Kyle sit down)Mr. Mackey: Well boys, your little friend, Kenny, went to the hospital last night, m'kay? And well...he's pretty sick.Kyle: Kenny's sick?Stan: Well, how sick?Chef: Children, Kenny has been diagnosed with a terminal disease.Stan: But the doctor's are gonna make him better, right?Sharon: Oh, dear.Stan But mom, that's what hospitals are for, they can make him better.Sharon: Oh, Randy.Randy: They don't think so, Stanley. Your friend is terminally ill, and that means--well son...that means he's gonna be going to Heaven soon. Kyle: Wait, Kenny's going to die?Gerald: He might, Kyle.Stan: But he's our f-f-friend.Mr. Mackey: We know, and that's why he's going to need you boys to be strong for him, m'kay? He needs you now, more then ever.Stan: No! This can't happen! Kenny can't die! Kenny can't die!(Stan begins sobbing into his dad's shoulder)