Rabbi Max Davis: Fathers, count your blessings

Submitted Photo Rabbi Max Davis with his wife, Dalia, and their daughter Revaya.

By RABBI MAX DAVIS

The thought of writing a Father’s Day column was, at first, challenging and intriguing. Judaism has no official Father’s or Mother’s Day. Sure, we’ve got the Fifth Commandment, “HONOR THY FATHER AND THY MOTHER,” but that’s a far cry from Father’s Day Commandments such as “THOU SHALT LET FATHER WATCH THE SOX IN PEACE.”

So what exactly does Judaism have to say about Father’s Day?

Not much, to be honest. However, Judaism has plenty to say about fatherhood, and perhaps, by extension, we can draw conclusions about the day itself.

First of all, parenthood is considered a profound blessing, never to be taken for granted. The list of biblical characters who yearned for children is extensive. Sarah and Abraham, Jacob and Rachel, Hannah and Elkanah — these, and other couples waited years, even decades, for the gift of a child. One can only imagine the overwhelming sense of gratitude and joy that Father Abraham would have felt on Father’s Day.

It would have been his day for reflecting upon the profound privilege of parenthood. Similarly, one can only imagine the patriarch’s thoughts about an era in which innumerable fathers flee the responsibilities of fatherhood in pursuit of personal ambition.

However, if Father’s Day is about counting one’s blessings, it is also a time for profound awareness that not every would-be parent is so fortunate. Despite medical advances since biblical times, the fact remains that numerous individuals struggle to have children, often suffering in silence as our child-centric society moves on.

Father Jacob was well aware of Rachel’s pain, and the suffering she endured when acquaintances carelessly asked, “And how many children do you have?”

"Thinking about expanding the family?” Or the egregiously blunt, “Are you pregnant?”

One can only speculate about Father Jacob’s Father’s Day habits, but of this we may be certain: Whether he was barbequing or tool shopping, Jacob conducted himself with immense sensitivity towards those whose prayers had not yet been answered.This is not to suggest that having a child results in a life of sugar and spice.

Many of the most famous biblical couples struggled with childrearing. No, the Bible does not discuss screaming toddlers pounding fists on supermarket floors, or adolescents returning home in the comfort of squad cars – but look no farther than the first siblings, Cain and Able, to see what biblical parents had to put up with.

As rewarding as parenthood can be, it is also challenging and a long-term growth process for parents and children alike. As such, Father’s Day may be a good time for fathers to simply catch their breath, take pride in their accomplishments, and recommit to being the best dads possible during the year ahead.