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My boyfriend and I were working at a comic book convention and a few teenage girls were looking at some art on display at our table. The girls were chatting to each other about some teacher they hated and a minute or so later they moved on to the next table. No big deal.

Right after they left this troll of a woman walked to our table from the one next to us. She looked at me and said, “God, those girls were obnoxious.” Normally I think everyone is obnoxious and would have agreed, especially younger people. But those girls weren’t particularly rude, or anything. I just smiled at the troll so she wouldn’t drag me off to eat later under some bridge somewhere. The best part of this silly story is the description of the woman who made the complaint about the girls.

She was indeed a troll for her attitude. But she also fit the physical bill as well. This +50 year old woman was made up of the following:

white fukc me pumps

an acid wash miniskirt

troll legs

a faux leather corset vest

a pirate shirt with puffy sleeves

black 5″ long finger nails

black painted on eyebrows with bleached too long blond hair

Mr. T like necklaces

a tattoo of some ex-boyfriend’s name on her hand (classy)

orange/ almost purple tan from a box

See crapply done photoshop example:

Obnoxious? Them? Oh no, dearie. You, you and the obnoxious ox troll who picks her teeth with the bones of young teenagers under the G.W. Bridge.

If you see her on the street just throw her some food and don’t look her in the eye. She’ll leave you alone if you distract her with a chicken wing or something.