Vito Schnabel Is The Man

I was introduced to Vito Schnabel once at a party at his father’s house in Montauk. Vito‘s dad, Julian Schnabel, was throwing an amazing get together at his house and invited the media. At the time I had no idea who Julian Schnabel was, but even today I’m a little amazed that I once hung out at his house.

His son Vito Schnabel is now currently dating Demi Moore and it’s making some serious tabloid news. Vito Schnabel is now officially THE MAN and the reason has entirely to do with a joke I once heard while sitting at the bar at the Maidstone Club in East Hampton. It goes like this.

A lone survivor on a tropical island is sitting on the beach, when suddenly he sees a woman crying for help in the ocean. He swims out to rescue her, brings her to the beach, and immediately recognizes the woman as Demi Moore. “Oh my God, you saved my life, thank you.”

“What happened?” said the man.

“I was on my yacht and we crashed, nobody else survived. Where am I?”

“You’re on an island, the same thing happened to me two years ago, nobody is on this island and I’ve been living here after I crashed my sailboat.”

Demi Moore and this man suddenly begin to fall in love, and the two of them for the next month have some of the most wild sex in the history of sex on the island. One day, the two of them are sitting underneath a coconut tree, laying down on the beach holding one another. “Demi, could you do something for me?” The man says.

“Sure anything.”

“Can you put on this men’s suit and this fake mustache for me?”

Immediately Demi starts to think that things are getting a little weird, but she agrees.

“Do you mind pulling your hair back and wearing this men’s hat also?”

“Ummm…I guess not,” Demi says.

“Let’s take a walk.”

The two of them start walking down the beach in silence, with the man smiling the entire time. Then after ten minutes of walking the man turns to her and says, “Dude, you aren’t going to believe who I have been sleeping with for the last month.”