I don’t enjoy being dirty; I like to be clean. Realizing that we need some sort of ground rules, some guidelines, to prevent petty arguments about bathing schedules, we’ve put together a simple list of travel guidelines. These are the things we feel we must do to ensure our sanity:

Shower at least every other day. Preferably every day. Actual shower conditions are unimportant – can be $1 truck stop shower, quarter operated national park shower, solar heated bag shower, plush hotel shower. Basic requirement: water in which to bathe.

Eat well and healthfully. Cook healthy and tasty foods and keep packaged foods to a minimum. Fast food will be a rare treat. A complicated part of this guideline is that I really want to have yogurt for breakfast every morning. This is strangely important to me.

Sleep well. That bed had better be as comfortable as we can make it.

Do anything either one of us wants to do. If Paul wants to stop at the Corn Palace, we will stop at the Corn Palace. If I want to go to the Mormon thrift store, then damn it, I am going to the Mormon thrift store. We won’t have anywhere to be, so we should be wherever we want. We’ve got all the time in the world.

Cocktail hour is every night at 5pm (travel permitting). Some sort of regular, daily schedule is necessary. Cocktail hour involves the appropriate glasses, ice, a cocktail shaker, and skirting interstate open container laws.

Be productive. Learn as much as possible. Blog as much as possible.

Talk to people. Don’t rely on the Google to tell us where to find the laundromat or farmer’s market or grocery store.

Schedule alone time. No matter how much you like and love someone, 24 hours a day every day will soon become too much.

Read Our Book:

Read about Paul fighting off a charging bear with a Fat Tire beer can (kinda made up). And this: Lisa meeting a talking piece of poo in the middle of the desert (maybe that was dehydration). And we realize that the meaning of life is wrapped up in a motel waffle (this is probably true).