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11/08/2016

During the final weekend of a toxic, crazy-making election season, thousands of people flocked towards the serenity and spirituality of the “Celebrate Your Life” conference in Scottsdale, AZ. With an all-star array of global icons in the self-help field — including Maryanne Williamson, Carolyn Myss, and Don Miguel Ruiz — this all-star weekend was the ideal shelter from the storm, with a delightful array of extras — free reflexology, toe reading, neck massages and even free hugs! — felt like a nifty bonus.Even if meditation, mantras and chakra balancing aren’t your thing, here are some takeaways that might be useful in your daily life:

Don’t Deny Your Stress

Do you think that suffering from daily stress proves that you’re not a "strong enough" person? On the contrary, said keynote speaker and "A Return to Love" author Marianne Williamson. “It’s normal and healthy to be upset about what’s going on in our country,” said Williamson, as she prowled the stage with such self-assured authority. In fact, it’s entirely valid to “feel disturbed because what’s happening is disturbing!”

But if you’re feeling guilty or unhealthy because you’re feeling extra anxiety these days, it’s time to stop judging yourself. “Everyone has anxiety disorders, it’s not weak!” said Williamson, noting that “feeling pain is not mental illness” and that alternative anti-stress practices like mindfulness and meditation have been proven in studies to alter brain chemistry. Investigate what works best for you.

Though much of her talk was infused with humor, Williamson also said it’s time for the spiritual community to take a bigger role in the political process: “Spiritual people are the biggest people in the room!” she said. “We’re the power players.”

Stop It!

Are you enraged because your life isn’t truly spectacular yet? Because you don’t yet “have it all” or that life owes you something it hasn't yet provided? Anyone who’s rolled their eyes at the idea of meditating or reading a ‘self-help’ book would have enjoyed Caroline Myss’s practical, no-nonsense approach to wellness.

"Get a backbone, not a wishbone, people!"

“Stop trudging up excuses and resenting your life because no one sees how great you are” which she says locks people into a cycle of suffering. “‘Having it all is nonsensical thinking!” she added, noting that everything your truly need is already right here with you, pointing directly at the runaway fears currently dominating our culture. “Stop it! Stop being frightened little ninnies,” she said, to big laughs from the audience. "Get a backbone, not a wishbone, people!"

Myss also stressed that until you get totally honest with yourself about the role you’ve played in your own life’s events, you can’t heal. Until you “take on your own nonsense,” your own innate creativity and potential will remain paralyzed. “Healing is real, and everything you do matters,” she said, “so stop worrying about the small things.”

She also acknowledged that life is moving (and changing) faster than ever before, and stress is natural. “You’ll always be stressed — who cares!” said Myss, who encouraged the audience to embrace personal responsibility and tame their inner narcissist. “Suffering is expecting life to be other than it is.”

By accepting what's here right now, you can consciously take back your power in a crazy world, and live your fullest possible life.

“Love this day because it will never come again,” she says. With the world in such chaos, "there’s no time to sit on the sidelines, it's time to play your part.”

“We all have an endless capacity to heal.”

Heaven in a Place on Earth (Really)

After being given mere hours to live by her doctors, Anita Moorjani described a Near Death Experience that followed and is the basis for her New York Times best-selling book “Dying to Be Me.” Diagnosed with end-stage lymphoma -- and tumors the size of lemons in her body -- Moorjani was in a coma for 30 hours, where she described entering a realm of indescribable unconditional love and clarity; she realized she wasn’t ready to die, and that she had a purpose to fulfill. “Go back and live your life fearlessly,” was her message, and within three weeks, the doctors could find no cancer in her body.

“Go back and live your life fearlessly.”

Margin believes she got cancer because she lived in constant fear; she also criticized herself endlessly and felt inferior to others — and as a result her body eventually turned against her. But Moorjani also said that rather than fearing your own negativity — especially negative thoughts, which every has — she encouraged everyone to focus instead on love. “Don’t fear your thoughts! You just create more fear. Instead, focus on loving every part of yourself, accept yourself completely where you are, because that is the seat of your power.”

The key is to live free of fear, and full of unconditional love.

“You don’t have to die to experience this!” she said, also noting the world often discourages self-love as being selfish, but her message of live being the greatest solution was powerful.

“I’m not a guru or healer. I’m here to tell you to love yourself, live fearlessly and powerfully. This is your destiny.” -- Mitch Rustad

11/03/2015

If you’re feeling stuck in life (who isn’t, right?) here’s an little experiment worth considering. So open your mind and play along...

What if, for a day (or better yet, a week), you deliberately step beyond that ‘how it is’ mind, and act ‘as if’ with true conviction, like a great actor, knowing everything is going to work out beautifully in the future. You KNOW it now, with such certainty, that you can relax and enjoy and flow and love and smile and accept and allow and choose the best, most joyful words, emotions, and feelings. All that, while feeling braver than you’ve ever been.

What if you spent a whole day in THAT consciousness, in that 'how it is’ kind of world? Would you explode? Would a world of such apparent irresponsible fantasy-land positivity fall apart around you, and swallow you up, and you’d never be heard from again? Would all your bills go unpaid, your boss fire you, and friends and colleagues stone you to death for being strange? Or would life (for at least one day) be so spectacularly good, so peaceful, profound and expansive, that you’d wonder why you ever spent so much time confined to ‘how it is’ smallness? Borders that you’d set (along with society, teachers, parents, neighbors, etc.) long ago, and clearly could expand if you were awake enough to consciously move them.

Make It Personal

This little experiment isn’t about epic fantasy of pretending you’re Henry the VIII or Roger Federer (but hey, that might help your serve) or anyone else, the leap has to come from the heart, into personal territory that breaks personal boundaries. This isn’t about comparisons. It’s about feeling stuck, and challenging your unique, self-imposed prisons called ‘how it is.’ It’s about leaving that one small windowless room you’ve always lived in, stepping out, and realizing you own an entire mansion, and exploring ALL the rooms, opening the windows and turning on the lights.

This is an exercise in mind-opening, but it’s backed up (at least in my view) by some of the greatest teachers in the world; I can hear parts of Eckhart Tolle (“The Power of Now”), Iyanla Vanzant (is this not a not-so-subtle exercise in forgiveness and letting go?), and Abraham Hicks (the Law of Attraction is always and only working right now) in this exercise. And of course, so many other authors and leaders -- this is not rocket science, this is backed up, ubiquitous and modern (and yet also centuries old) self-help. It's advice I’ve heard from many therapists, motivational speakers and experts over the years.

It’s just an idea, but to me, a fascinating one. SO many people, most often highly intelligent, smart, even successfully ones, get stuck. They reach a certain age, and life’s suddenly over, it’s too late for a new career, romance or fresh dreams or possibilities. Or their past is just too toxic, too full of trauma and wounds, for this to work. That’s for ‘other people’ with fewer problems and more assets, right?

It's Not About Perfection, It's About Perception

This isn’t about happiness through being perfect, being the best, or getting the most followers in Instagram (sorry Kim and Kylie!). It’s a highly personal, intimate exercise, best done with an audience of one: Yourself. Sure, others are going to be widely impacted, you could meet and interact with hundreds of people during this day, but no one else needs to know this isn’t the ‘real’ you – that you’re only faking it. Their eyes will take this ‘you’ as the real thing, and interact accordingly. If you’re full of love, acceptance, peace and certainty that life is unfolding brilliantly, how much drama and ill-will do you think you’ll create/attract as a result? I heard this on Oprah once: “Take responsibility for the energy you bring into a room.” No blame, no excuses, no yesterdays or childhoods to carry like a bag of rocks on your back, just freedom to choose, to be the greatest, most passionate, powerful ‘you’ the world (or just your cat) has ever seen. Just for one day. You may not win an Oscar, Emmy or a million hits on YouTube, you’ll perhaps win something better: A glimpse and direct, thrilling experience of you that’s been there all along, but locked behind a door labeled ‘Not Me’.

But all you’ve done is rename it ‘Why Not Me?' And had some unexpected (maybe uncomfortable) joy for a day, and experimented with your mind. Maybe it’s not the tortured enemy you’ve believed it to be. Would it be worth one day of your life to find out? You can always go back to ‘normal’ and ‘how it is’ tomorrow. -- Mitch Rustad

07/13/2015

Have you ever thought of forgiveness as a healing tool? While it may not be as obvious as a healthy diet and regular workout, practicing regular forgiveness (of yourself and others) can be an immensely powerful means of sculpting a more empowered and happy life.But you might be thinking (or even screaming) to yourself, what's so empowering about forgiveness? Why would anyone forgive their childhood bully, homophobic co-worker or relative, or cheating boyfriend? Isn't that just weakness, if not downright stupid?

No less an authority than renowned life coach and OWN's Fix Your Life star Iyanla Vanzant says forgiveness is NOT an open invitation to be a doormat.

“It doesn’t mean you tolerate bad behavior,” Iyanla says in a recent interview with Ebony. “Forgiveness isn’t for the other person. It is for you. It clears the energy of your heart and raises your vibration.”

06/26/2015

They poured into Prince of PeaceLutheran church in Scottsdale by the hundreds, on a glorious, sun-drenched April afternoon. The youngest attendee (festively adorned in a lacy white head bow) was no more than a few months old, while some others looked to be well past 90. Some arrived in sparkly Mercedes convertibles, draped in designer labels, while others wore casually comfortable polo shirts and sun dresses. Next-door neighbors and passers-by would have assumed a Saturday church service or concert was at hand. In a way, they were right.A traditional Lutheran service (led by the phenomenal Rev. Rick Sherrill), along with communion and some dazzling music, were indeed part of the program. But this bright, picture perfect scene, draped in love, peace, deep spirituality and loyal community, would also enrage and/or outrage thousands of Arizona residents, not to mention some (maybemost?) of the GOP Presidential candidates.

The marriage of long-time Scottsdale residents Jim Taylor, 62, a semi-retired pharmacist, and Dr. Allen Quie, 49, an Arizona schools district principal, certainly wasn’t the first gay wedding held in Arizona since it became legal in 2014.

That said, it surely had to be one of the biggest in the state’s admittedly short history -- 400 plus guests, representing a wide swath of religions, ages and backgrounds. Guests flew in from places like North Dakota (both grooms’ home state), California, New York, and Illinois. Many were Prince of Peace members. Many were Mormon, while others were Presbyterian, Catholic, Jewish, and Protestant. But everyone shared one thing in common: an abiding love, respect and support for the beaming couple, who had been together 23 years before this seemingly impossible day became possible.

The mix of attendees was wide, and the random reception chatter (“Oh, those Methodists!” chuckled one, while another exclaimed, “Are you a sinner? We’re ALL sinners…”) reminded me that religion remains at the center of the vast majority of lives in this state. It’s a hot topic. Being at this wedding was an act of love, but for many neighboring churches, it could be heresy as well.

Sensing a large gay wedding might be ‘news’ (given the media attention to the ongoing marriage fight in places like Alabama and religious freedom laws in Indiana and Arkansas), Jim Geldien, the best man in the wedding - and a prominent real estate and interior designer with a long list of wealthy Valley clients — pitched the story to a friend/contact at the Arizona Republic. “She wouldn’t go near the story,” said Geldien, who recently left their long-time Paradise Valley church with his husband, Mark Ficklin (they were married recently in Hawaii after 30 years together) due to a ‘no gays’ policy for church leadership.

As a long-time New Yorker, hearing this is sad — actually shocking — stuff. Yet the tears shed during the moving, emotional ceremony weren’t gay tears, they were human ones. How can everyone not see this?

Thankfully, many do see and know -- in fact, the overwhelming majority of the wedding’s guests were straight and Republican. They attended because of their obvious love and support for two men they knew as gay, but also knew as neighbors, congregation members, co-workers, as a son, brother, or nephew. This is what face-to-face relationships will do to those literal interpretations of the Bible (eating shellfish is also an ‘abomination’ in Leviticus, right?). Who with a beating Christian heart and spirit could experience the overwhelming, loving energy in the Prince of Peace church and define this long-term loving and dedicated relationship as an ‘abomination’? Impossible!

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