Most blogs, I write after wrestling with a question and working it out in my heart and mind a little. Today, I’m mid-struggle. This time, I would enjoy getting YOUR perspective. Help me get “unstuck”.

I’ve felt for some time that I’m in a kind of tug-of-war between “here and now” and whatever it is next. (Sure, aren’t we all… right?! That’s why I’m bringing this to you.) Some days I have dreams. Other days I can’t see past the moment. I want to be “in” each moment, savoring all that’s good about where I am right now, but am I missing opportunities that the world needs me to see? When is it time to step outside my current head-space — from what is — to see what could be! (I realize I just opened myself up big-time big-time for jokes about my “head space” – so go ahead and have fun with that for a second. Okay, that’s enough.)

I’ve always been of the opinion that when I’m supposed to take a next step, it will be obvious. I’ll just know. That’s the way it has always happened for me before. But is that really true?? Am I missing some important mission because I’m looking at it all wrong?

Now, after savoring Don Miller’s book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years for weeks – months, even – I’m still trying to figure out what the “main character” in my story wants! And who IS the main character?? Is it even me? Don’s words call to my inner writer with parallels between the elements of a great story and my own real life story. I keep finding myself asking… “What am I DOING here?!” I always look at whatever I’m doing as training ground for the next thing, yet I don’t want to get sidetracked and become less useful in what my life requires of me right now.

I get ideas, some are good ones and others questionable. All of them sit around collecting dust… waiting. I don’t share them, for lots of reasons. Don’t even know who can be trusted with them. But how else will I know which ideas will amount to anything (not just materially, but in impact)? And… here comes the big question… what will I say “no” to in order to say “yes”?! Will it be worth it? That question is scary and uncomfortable.

I’ve grown SO tired of the cliche “getting out of your comfort zone” — it feels a little guilt-ridden to me. But then, could it BE that I hate that phrase simply because I am enthralled with safety? I don’t think that’s it, UNTIL I start considering what the adventure might look like. What if it turned everything I know on its ear? Truth is, it might.

Then we have issues of validation (and by “we” of course, I mean “I”). Is there a need for validation driving my quest for whatever is next? Or was I BORN for it and it’s all part of my mission? Will taking a step somehow express that I am ungrateful for where I am now and the fulfillment I currently enjoy – as a writer, as a wife, as a mom, as a worshipper and overall person? How does a person manage to be “content in whatever state we’re in…” yet seek to deepen and enrich the impact we’re making on our world? I want to reach for the next chapter of this grand story!

Readers, I need your experience here. When have you been in this place and how did you get unstuck? Or am I really stuck at all? Could all these questions bring me back to the realization that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be? Talk to me.

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6 thoughts on “I’m stuck! But maybe you can help…”

This entire blog captures the bulk of the conversations I’ve been having lately with friends and acquaintances. You strive for more because you have been given more. There are people in the world who are quite content with themselves; Growth being a word only reserved for those who seem to be undernourished, if you will.

As a creative, spiritual soul, you probably struggle with the knowledge that you have more to contribute… more to want… and yet, at the same time, experience guilt for wanting more?

This stage in ones life may feel like it’s void of stepping stones, however, when contributions (such as this blog) are offered by the one “stuck” they never know how their impact may “unstick” another…

My struggle has been learning to just “be” instead of focusing on the “do”. Once all my kids were in school I battled whether I had lost my purpose and needed to go back to work or school or something. And God seemed to be saying, “Wait”. Wait for what? I had no idea. But I knew He wanted me to spend more time in personal worship and being quiet, which until this point had been mostly impossible with 4 boys.

Now that I had quiet I didn’t know how to handle it well. When it’s quiet you have to listen to your thoughts and they sometimes make you crazy. But as I have worshipped in the silence it has become His thoughts that I am able to listen to. I am able to hear who He says I am which is preparing me for whatever endeavor is next.

My youngest sister just had a brain tumor removed in April. She became deaf in one ear which made her terribly dizzy for quite some time. The recovery process has been long and discouraging as she has 4 very young children that she has not been able to care for. Feeling helpless and unproductive God had a chance to remind her that being is more important than doing. Being in love with a Savior, being the child He chose, being the one that He rescued. It has changed her worship and the way she looks at all that she wants to do.

Talking to her and watching her has helped me refine my thinking on this topic. Anchoring myself in who I am as God’s child needs to be my focus. I am not so much identified in God’s eyes by what I do as by who I am. At just the right time He will provide the “do” that I am supposed to be doing, and it might just surprise me what that “do” is.

Kind of like Moses. I think when he left Egypt the first time, God was teaching him to be. And then at just the right time God showed him that he was to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. It was nothing that he would have chosen or expected that God had been preparing him for. But he was ready. He had stopped identifying himself as “Pharaoh’s daughter’s adopted son” (the way everyone else had seen him) and found his confidence in being a child of God. His faith was simplified into believing God alone instead of his own abilities and influence. And because of it God was able to get all the glory, which is why I think God wants me to keep learning to focus on the “being”. The glory He will receive when He finally shows me what to “do” will make all this waiting worthwhile.

Sarah… I had no idea your little sis (and, therefore YOU) went through all that! My word. Puts so much into perspective. All my ranting could sound a little whiney compared to all that! But you’re SO right. Thank you for taking to time to share this… really good. All the comments here are so wise. I’m blessed with such AMAZING people here… thanks.

I am just an old geezer and really not sure what all of this means. I think however, you got close to the answer at the end of your blog when you said “could all these questions bring me back to the realization that I am exactly where I’m suppose to be?” I tend to use the “kiss” method (keep it simple stupid) but to me, if you are listening to and following God (which there is no question in my mind that you are), here is my conclusion. You are where you are so you can get to where you are going.

Wow! I’ve been feeling stuck for a long time.. This year has been really tough in that…though I though there has been some progress toward where I believe God ultimately wants me to be part of. There is a definite fire in my bones about this, and I’ve done about all I can but the final choice is not up to me. The waiting is soooo very hard…I know that everything we go through is for a purpose and ultimately prepares us for what’s coming along later, but when the heat is really on it’s hard to remember. Maybe we all have to help each other out when we’re feeling stuck. That’s what a family of friends are supposed to do!