THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Friday, December 7, 2012

CRANKY IN DISNEY WORLD

CRANKY IN DISNEY WORLD

HELP! Help,
I am being held hostage in Disney World. Actually I have an agreement with Mrs.
Cranky, she puts up with me all year long, and I act pleasant at Disney World four
days a year. So far I’m not holding up my end of the bargain.

Disney seems
like a nice place.It is
clean…immaculate actually.Everyone who
works at Disney is sooo nice.They are
always smiling, and always friendly.They keep telling me, “Welcome home!”This is not my home, why do they keep saying that?

I think this
place is a prison for happy people.Cranky people do not belong at Disney World.Everyone is walking around with Disney pins,
Disney hats, and Disney everything.Well
everyone is not walking around; half of the people in this prison get round on
“Little Rascals.”I’ve never seen so
many people that can’t walk, all in one place.

In Disney
World if you can’t walk you get on and off the bus first, you get moved to the
front of the attraction lines, and everyone in your family gets the same
priority treatment.Apparently everyone
“in the know” goes to Disney World with a designated cripple, or DC to gain
priority access.

There are
other things about this place besides happy people and the “Little Rascal”
people that make me want to blow this joint.

KIDS!This place is
crawling with little kids.They are not
the beaming happy children we see on the commercials for Disney World.They are whiney, demanding, pouty, tired
miserable miniature human beings.

This place
is also crawling with weird characters with weird outfits.I think they are creepy.

There needs
to be some changes at Disney World to make it suitable for Cranky people.

First, send
everyone who cannot walk to “Rascal Land” where they can get their ass kissed
without taking away from my time.At
“Rascal Land” everyone goes to the front of the line, but the line never makes
it into the attraction.It is just one
revolving line where the front constantly changes and no one ever gets anywhere.

You have me cracking up over here in Calif. I am so dreading the trip to Dinseyland with my child it is not even funny. How can a place with that many screaming kids be the happiest place on earth? Hang tough cranky you will make it

I feel your pain Cranky. I spent a year at Disney World one weekend. As I recall it was in July...hotter 'n hell July. I spent several days just going round and round and round on "It's a Small World" because it was inside some sort of air conditioned cave. DW was absolute hell. But they did have a good fireworks show every night.

We did the obligatory pilgrimage to The Mouse back in the spring of '89 (we only had three kids, so that tells you how long ago it was). We went during Spring Break, and stayed w/ my aunt in Sarasota. The beaches on Siesta Key were incredible (the college kids hadn' discovered them yet).

But The Mouse. . . We were in the park for 10 hours, and rode 10 rides. The rest of the time we were standing in line. Around dinner time, we actually rode 'Small World' a second time, because we were walking by, and there was no line. Oh, Lord, make it stop! That infernal, smarmy muzak! Please, make it stop!

But the not-so-subliminal message came through loud and clear - DW is Heaven! This is what happens to good little boys and girls!

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About Me

I am 70 years old, I have 4 children 45,42,40 and 18;and 5 grandchildren 13-6
. Divorced twice, married three times. I worked on Wall Street for 40 years after graduating from Lafayette College in 1968. I have turned to writing as since retirement I needed something to tell people "What the F*** I do." Published one book "Maybe It's Just Me!" available at Amazon, soon to release my second, "I Used To Be Stupid."
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