Tag: release

The light of the full moon illuminates the night. We can see more in the dark than at other times. Shadows are illuminated. The unseen becomes visible.

In magic, full moon and the waning moon that follows after it is the time for releasing, for paying attentions to our shadows, for letting go…

This full moon has definitely been a time of release for me.

I don’t find this easy to write about this, so please bear with me.

This full moon, I have been able to look deep into my shadows and see some of the patterns and habits that undermine me.

Fortunately, I have also been able to start letting go.

Let me explain further…

A few weeks ago, in the dark of the moon, I joined Gala Darling‘s online Radical Self Love Coven. I figured this would be an excellent way to fill in the gaps in my magical knowledge, connect with other like-minded people, and boost my spiritual and magical practice. And it’s certainly doing all that!

…of course, the seeds we plant at the new moon often start to grow and bloom by full moon…

The magic work we’ve been doing with the coven has included (perhaps unsurprisingly given the name) work on self-love. I think it is this work that has tipped the balance to make me look deeper into myself.

Anyway, I was talking about patterns and habits that undermine us…

My pattern for too long has been that of excessive personal responsibility.

Now, I’ll happily admit that personal responsibility is a good thing. It is important that we accept responsibility for ourself and our actions and how these can affect the world around us.

But like all good things, it has a shadow side – when taken to excess it can throw things out of balance. One ends up taking personal responsibility for things that aren’t things one is responsible for and then, because of this extra burden, letting the things one IS responsible for slide. This then leads to a nauseating spiral of guilt, shame and sometimes taking up even more responsibility as one desperately tries to fix things using the same methods that created the situation in the first place. And, of course, the attempted fix just deepens the spiral…

Yes, I know this spiral all too well…

Fortunately, it is possible to change.

The first step is identifying the issue. I would gently suggest that if you’re finding yourself buried in guilt, shame with hints of non-productive rebellion, you may be doing this to yourself, too. Or you may have a different spiral. In either case, you may find that taking some time to write down and chase down what is driving those feelings is time well spent. My tip is to look for the ‘thing’ that is the foundation – what lies behind the greatest number of yurk stuff?

That’s the first step. Next, we need to release the ‘thing’. I have found EFT tapping the simplest, quickest and most effective way of doing this. I was initially a complete sceptic, until life got so uncomfortable I thought I’d give it a try – and was almost alarmed by how well it worked! I follow this basic recipe. For most things I find three to four times through works. You may have other release methods. I do recommend something that is simple and quick. Now that you’ve identified the pattern you don’t need it hanging round your life any longer than necessary.

Then we need to fill the gap. Releasing is good, but patterns leave well-worn paths on our soul. If we don’t fill the gap, the old patterns will sneak back in. Ask yourself questions about how you truly want to live. What do you want your life to look like? What health-filled pattern could replace the old unhealthy pattern? This is not a time to introduce something completely unrelated to what you’ve just released. You’re looking for something that will fill that particular space in you. Then try to reduce this to an easily remembered phrase you can use like a mantra. My new phrase is “appropriate responsibility” – and so far it is keeping me nicely on track.

So that’s my learning so far this full moon. I’m curious to see what more I can release as the moon wanes to dark. Then there’s the fun of planting new seeds at new moon ❤

If you want to chat about anything in this post, feel free to comment or message me (I can be messaged privately through Facebook and Twitter). Just before Full Moon, I launched my shamanic coaching service, Cordyline. If you think this might be useful for you, please get in touch. I’d be honoured to work with you.

In the meantime, aroha nui!

And I trust the moon’s light will help guide your steps along your life’s journey.

Like this:

I’m typing from my dining table, watching the golden moon rise over the hills to the east…

My son is asleep in my studio, where I usually write. His father is renovating his bedroom as I type.

I have dragged myself away from Pinterest, where I was hiding, as this is not a comfortable post to write.

❤ ❤ ❤

As I work through this process of releasing and embracing, and deciding which to do where, I have come to the uncomfortable realisation that one thing that needs to change is this blog.

It is uncomfortable because I have found myself a comfy rut with wonderful readers, so I am reluctant to change.

But in truth that comfy rut is getting uncomfortable, as I can feel words within me pushing to be written. I don’t know yet exactly what form they want to take, but I do know I want to find out…

Blogging helps ease my discomfort temporarily: having written something I can feel a pleasant glow of achievement and ignore those stirrings a little longer. But in truth my blogging has become a form of procrastination itself!

So, I have decided to release this blog a little. Do not fear – this is only a temporary release!

I need some time and space to breathe in without the strict rhythm of regular posting.

I crave time and space to explore my writing further, and to push the boundaries of what my blogging is.

I anticipate I will be away for at least a month, possibly longer. I fully intend to embrace blogging again well before the next Solstice (aka Christmas), but it may not be quite the same as before…

I ask your patience with this process, and hope that you will enjoy the end result as much as I intend to.

Much has been written on the ills and/or necessity of social media in this internet age.

Depending on who you read, social media can be a contributor to social dislocation or an essential part of your personal brand. Personally, I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle (as it usually does).

Social media is, in my view, neither the devil incarnate nor the answer to your everything. It is a tool which can support, and even enhance, our lives, but it also contains hazards. Not just the obvious noisy trolls, but quieter dangers like discontent, jealousy and time-wasting.

I don’t worry so much about avoiding trolls: they will trample wherever they will, and there ain’t much anyone can do about that except wait for them to move on.

I have found a way to managing the quieter dangers. It is simple, but effective:

Over recent weeks, I’ve been making conscious decisions about what I do and don’t want in my feeds, and who I want to hear from: I’ve cleaned out my Twitter follows and started work on my Facebook newsfeed. Pinterest is yet to come.

More important to me than clearing out is choosing what to embrace in my feeds. I want to be encouraged and inspired, so I can spread that joy wider.

Interestingly, I’ve found that I enjoy Twitter more than I do Facebook. I think it’s partly because there is no requirement to be friends with people to share their wisdom and humour. And the character limit makes for quicker scrolling and less ranting. Facebook does help me stay connected to people I care about, but Twitter leaves me smiling!

Anyway, here’s a couple of tips for releasing and embracing your social media feeds:

Think about what you actually want to see: what do you want to be feeding your soul? If you do this right at the beginning, it will make choosing who to release and who to keep around much easier.

My Twitter feed had ended up full of cynical political commentary which was dragging me down. Cynical is one thing I really don’t need encouragement for – I can do it quite well by myself! So, I’ve deliberately chosen to follow people whose tweets encourage me and make me smile (especially if they feature cat pics).

It is okay to release people from your feeds. Chances are they’ll never know…

I find Twitter is less emotionally charged than Facebook for this – but I have discovered you can unfollow individual Facebook friends without having to take that fraught step of unfriending. This takes them out of your newsfeed, but leaves the friendship in place. Pinterest is dead easy – just unfollow boards you don’t enjoy any more.

Build a feed that feeds you

It really doesn’t take much effort to fill your feed with images and words that feed your soul. Just search for what you actually like and want to see (see #1) – and do remember it is okay to release and unfollow what no longer works for you.

We are allowed to grow and change, and we are allowed to take our social media with us as we do!

How do you manage your social media? Do you have any tips for de-cluttering this part of life? Please share 🙂