Mad Men Discussion: Fat Betty Draper Francis Is FAT FAT FAT

Let me start this off with an admission: I was kinda drunk when I came home last night and watched Mad Men. It was also kind of late. So I should probably go back and watch it a second time. I worry that my feelings about this episode — my hatred for which we’ll get to in a second — may be a little tainted due to drunken rage and sleepiness, especially considering that I loved last week’s episode.

Whatever, I hate Betty Draper Francis. There, I said it. And the only person I hate more than Betty Draper Francis is fat Betty Draper Francis.

– So yeah, last week everyone wondered, “Where’s Betty Draper?” Well now we know. She was eating the mid 1960s. Betty Draper is fat. FAT. And whiny and miserable as ever. We know this with the first couple of minutes of last night’s show. God help us all.

– The Rolling Stones! Thanks for reminding us that they’re that old, Matt Weiner.

– “There are pills you can take for that.” — Betty’s equally awful mother-in-law Pauline, summarizing the America of the past 50 years in a single sentence.

– Ugh, Betty calls Don when she gets the news that she may have cancer. He’s the first person she tells. Don breaks out his signature term of endearment for her: “Birdy.” The title of the episode is “Tea Leaves.” I think it’s clear that Matt Weiner is setting it up for the two of them to end up back in each other’s arms. Though it’s not exactly a surprise, this pisses me off because it just doesn’t seem plausible at this point — Don’s got a little French-Canadian f*ck bunny at home eager to satisfy his every whim. I don’t care about the bond he and Betty share because they had kids together. Too soon. And Betty sucks. Period.

– “Between that and ‘It’s Always Darkest Before The Dawn’ Over There.” Roger Sterling may be the funniest, most loveable racist ever.

– Don looking miserable at a Rolling Stones concert reminded me of what I think I’d be like at a Skrillex show. Old. Very old.

– Henry hates Don so hard. He should be begging Don to take that decaying anchor with blond hair and tits of his off his hands.

– I know I wasn’t the only one hoping that Betty’s tumor would be malignant. Sadly, it’s benign. But I suppose there’s still hope that she’ll die in a fire, right? (Sorry, I just really hate Betty more than you probably do.)

– Not to get to spoiler-y, but a Mohawk Airlines plane crashed in 1967. I have a feeling we’ll get a glimpse into how SCDP handles damage control in the near future.

– No Joan?!?! Not cool, Matt Weiner. Not cool. Also, can her dumb doctor husband hurry up and die in Vietnam so she and Roger can start f*cking again?

-Did you catch Henry referring to Mitt Romney’s father — who was running for president at the time — as a “clown.” Nice burn, Matt Weiner!

-This episode was directed by Jon Hamm. As much as I want to say there was something about his direction that stood out to me, I can’t really recall anything that jumps out.

– By far my favorite moment of the show was Don and a stoned, White Castle devouring Harry sitting in Don’s car after the backstage with the Rolling Stones sh*tshow. That scene was kind of awesome.

– The episode goes to credits with Betty Draper eating a sundae and then finishing off Sally’s. That struck me as kind of perfect.

With that said, the person who contributes the best Betty Draper fat joke in the comments between now and 5pm eastern time today gets a free DVD of Mad Men season one or four, the most recent one. Winner’s choice.

UPDATE: Congrats to MykroftzerO for this winning fat Betty Draper Francis joke: “How many Sundaes are in January this year?”

I’m thinking combo. It had the classic fat suit look and feel. Too much double chin, not enough fatness in the rest of the face. But at the same time she still def rocking a little baby weight as well.

It’s a combo plus, at least twice they used a body double for her back, The bathtub body was definitely not hers. I’ve seen a picture or two of her after she had her baby and she didn’t gain much weight.

I was kind of glad she didn’t have cancer- think of all the sympathy she would have been getting. Now, she’s just fat and nobody cares. Seriously though, why is she still a part of the show? There’s so many storylines going on that are actually meaningful and important, we really don’t need “housewife is getting older, fatter; feels unwanted” in there taking up valuable screen time. I genuinely think her and Don getting back together would be a show killer, or at the very least add a serious tarnish to the show’s reputation- I mean after everything that’s happened between them, it’s just unbelievable at this point. Unless Don suddenly realizes he’s into fat chicks (which could explain why he’s never seemed satisfied with one woman).

Sally Draper, yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar bill and it turned into four quarters. Now you can go buy another sundae. Then not eat it so yo mama can swallow it whole in a dark corner of your house and get even fattier. Fatty fat fat. Your mother is so goddamn fat, Salz.

I know my comments are completely wasted on a site like Uproxx, but whether or not Betty is a likeable character fat shaming is immature pathetic and disgusting. People like you all are part of the reason 8 million Americans suffer from eating disorders, and why it’s the mental illness with the highest mortality rate. There are better things to critique about this show than a character’s weight. You all should be ashamed of yourselves.

Betty Draper, Housewife, a woman barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild her, we have the technology, we have the capability to build the world’s first fat robot. Betty Draper will be that robot. We can make her bigger than she was before; hungrier, bitchier, fatter.

The only way Don is going back to Betty is if Meaghan eventually leaves him for a younger man, which could happen after a few years. No matter who Betty is with she’ll always be miserable and Don knows it. I wonder if Don’s aware of how she let herself go. I don’t like her character, but I feel bad for her, because looks was all that girl had going for her. She has no friends, her kids don’t like her, and she’s driving her husband – who really loves her, away. She ruins herself.

Right, I think its more likely Don leaves Megan for an older woman – someone like Dr. Faye Miller. He seems to vacillate between nymph-like lightweights like Megan or Beth Van de Camp or Sally’s teacher, and women that challenge him like the Bohemian, or Dr. Faye, or the Rachel Menken or Bobbi Barrett. The first two episodes have really highlighted the growing generation gap – between Don and Megan, between Don and fans of the Stones, between Don and culture. He’d be way more comfortable with someone his own age and I wonder if he’s starting to realize that.

I don’t see the generational gap being a downfall for Don in the sense that he can’t keep up. While he wasn’t enjoying being backstage at the Rolling Stones concert he also had an air of just not caring much to try anymore. To me, he was still clearly cool. Don’s lethargy will be his downfall, assuming that there is one.
I used to think I could see Pete becoming the next Don, but he’s just too desperate and petty to be in a position of high power, in my opinion. He’d be the type of person who leaves for another company (with a higher position within that company) and drives it to the ground by getting caught up in what he sees as slights against him.

Peggy is clearly the next Don, slowly becoming more bitter and jaded by the season. She’ll be telling clients why they should be listening to her and shutting the hell up by the end of the season.

And Pete’s turf war with Roger is going to be interesting because Pete, petty as he is, is not confident enough to leave SCDP, and (I’m assuming) they can’t write Roger out of the show, because he’s awesome. Although that could be the reason for Mohawk. They war over it, but it gives Roger something to do, and Pete can keep hunting down new clients.