We have made some incredible strides as a nation toward spreading some equality to marginalized groups. Yet, work still remains. Though it is far easier to be gay in 2016 America than it was in years past, there are still undeniable challenges. Being gay in 2016 means waking up each morning knowing that much of the world, even within your own country, still thinks of you as disgusting, as less than, as second class, as irredeemable and damned. It means moving forward despite these challenges, and pushing forward in the face of a bigotry that has not yet been eradicated.Being gay in 2016 means looking at a map and determining where it is and is not safe for you to travel, or for you to live. If you were married, and something were to happen to you during a trip to Tennessee, would your significant other be allowed to be at your side? If you moved to Nebraska, would you be accepted at your workplace or would you have to hide photos of your loved one for fear of being let go? If you traveled to South Carolina with your partner, would you be able to walk the beach together? If you walked the streets of Alabama, hand-in-hand, would you be accepted? There are many jobs in Texas, but is it safe for you there?Being gay in 2016 means walking the streets of one of the most liberal cities in one of the most liberal states in one of the most liberal countries in all the world, your hand intertwined with your partner's, and still feeling the gazes on you, the judgment weighing down on you, and pretending that it isn't really there.Being gay in 2016 means watching a tasteful kissing scene between two men or two women on television turn into a controversy, and being unable to ask why the steamiest romantic scenes in The Bachelor/Bachelorette are somehow more acceptable without being told you're "oversensitive."Being gay in 2016 means listening to family and friends describe your partner as your "friend," or referring to him/her as your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" only in hushed whispers as if the word were dirty and uncomfortable and nobody else must hear it.Being gay in 2016 means insecurity even in marriage, knowing that the bond could at a moment's notice be made null and void should the political climate shift even slightly.Being gay in 2016 means minding the people around you before you hug or plant a quick kiss goodbye. Who will it offend? Will it attract undue attention? What will the children think?Being gay in 2016 means finding little comfort nor a place in the arms of religion, because much religion still dictates that you don't have a place at all.

Being gay in 2016 means laughing off assumptions made about your sexuality, and pretending that it doesn't upset you.Being gay in 2016 means watching America elect one of the most actively homophobic vice-presidential candidates in history, and genuinely wondering whether or not you have a future place in your own country.Being gay in 2016 means living within a paradox, secure in your insecurity and confident in your lack of confidence, proud of your nation but ashamed of it as well, hopeful and yet also fearful.Being gay in 2016 means many things.Being gay in 2016 means writing this article, and knowing that almost half the people who read it are rolling their eyes.

Being gay in 2016 is NOT wrong. It’s human nature, you love who you love no matter who they are. Please accept yourself and the wonderful person you are. Don’t look for approval from anyone else to love who you are meant to be with. ​

Thank you for writing this, and speaking the thoughts of all of us who are afraid to for fear of being made fun of.

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S. K. Foster

12/18/2016 01:13:21 pm

This is beautiful. I say thank you from the students who will never read this because it is a school website, or those who are too shy to comment

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Jacob Blaszkow

2/15/2017 02:41:35 pm

I have been with my boyfriend for around half a year, and never have I once been scared of what someone else has thought of me while I was with him, because it is normal and I am happy enough with him that the opinion of others does not matter one bit.

Sure, on the off chance someone were to tell me what I am or am doing is wrong, I fully respect their right to say that. Does it make it right? No, but everyone has an opinion and to make my life easier I would just not associate myself with that person, as they clearly do not want to be around me.

Obviously, I do not personally agree with some of these points. Are they wrong or invalidated? No, but then neither are mine.

Don't let the assumptions hurt you, because people are uneducated. Educate them! An assumption is just that and only that, there's no need to make a chicken out of a feather.

When I hug or kiss my boyfriend goodbye, we keep it tasteful because no one likes PDA and we don't really worry about other people, because we're not dating them, and if they don't like what they saw then we don't associate ourselves with them.

When choosing places to travel, understand that different countries have different customs, and that by that place not being a safe place to travel, they just saved you time and money. When choosing places to work, make yourself the best employee so that there's no way they can fire you. Is it wrong that you might have to do that? Yes, but you can't just lie down and take it all. You have to attempt to make a change.

I feel as if thoughts like those in the blog post are enabling people to be victims and victimize themselves, instead of understanding that this does not define their life, and it is not going to be the biggest part of your life. Being gay does not make you, you. It is a small part of you that only changes one thing compared to a lot of other people. Yes, their is a point in a gay person's life where they need some sort of coming out and validation, and that's fine. I went through it, and so did countless others.

But once that period is over, you have to move on and realize that you are really no different than anyone else, and not taking that job in the South or not going to another country is letting those who think you are wrong, win. And yes, I know I stated alternatives to the travel, but if it is that important to you, you'll go regardless.

You cannot just lie down and take it. The world will not change for you. You have to be the one to change the world.

Reply

Jacob Blaszkow

2/15/2017 05:06:39 pm

EDIT: Used the wrong form of "there" in 3rd to last paragraph.

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