Conversation 2
Goldfish: I would like to spork someone in the jugular right now. Good thing there are no sporks on the premises because we all know how much rage it would take to actually penetrate someone’s jugular with a spork.

Friend 2: Dude, it would take a shit load of rage to break through the skin with those little plastic prongs. Once you got past that, I bet it wouldn’t be too hard to do some serious damage with that half-spoon, half-fork.

Goldfish: I think I have enough rage to try. I bet I could at least make prong wounds in someone’s neck even if I can’t make it all the way to the jugular. It’d be nice to make someone gush blood using only a spork and animalistic rage.

Conversation 3
Friend 3: You should get some cat poison or something.

Goldfish: You need it more than I do.

Friend 3: No, I mean for your backyard since the neighborhood cats are peeing on your strawberries.