Saturday, June 21, 2008

Have you seen my creativity? No? Neither have I. I swear, the older I get, the less creative I get. The bad part is that I miss it. I have ideas in my head, but it never leaves and actually, you know, gets created. I've started a book for each of the kids. It's not really a scrapbook; it's more like a journal with scrapbook pages in it. I've made it a goal to write a letter to each of the kids daily. Every once in a while, there will be a scrapbook page with photos in it. I really hope this is something i can stick to. Hopefully, the books will be something the kids will enjoy when they are adults.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Did anyone see or read about Fox News referring to Michelle Obama as "Obama's Baby Mama"? How absolutely insulting. I won't say much on this because, frankly, it just makes me mad and it reminds me how much race still matters in this day and age. I will say this: I can't imagine Fox news referring to Cindy McCain as "McCain's Baby Mama".

Please click here to read a much better post regarding this. (This guy said it way better than I ever could!)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Sam has been asking some pretty heavy questions lately and I can only imagine what is going on in that little head of his. It always starts out the same; "Why did Mama and Daddy get married?", he'll ask. I tell him that his daddy and I love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together. He'll think for a moment and then he'll ask, "But what about that lady? The lady with the baby in her tummy?". He, of course, is asking about his birth mother. I'll start to explain, in very simple words, about his birth mother and her situation. Sam will usually say something about Bill and I coming to get him to bring him to his "new home" (his words). I always ask him if he has more questions and let him know that I will always answer whatever questions I can for him. I don't want to push more on him than he wants, but I never want him to feel like he can't ask or talk to me about it. For the past few times that he has brought this up, he gets very angry a little while later. It will be something simple, like us telling him he can't play a video game, and he will start to cry and tell us that he doesn't like us anymore. He hates us. As he's saying those things, I can tell he knows what he is saying is hurtful and that he doesn't mean them. He has even written it down on paper a few times. I can't say that it doesn't hurt. It does; it feels like a million daggers in my heart. I'm not sure if part of this is testing and just being five; I have a strong feeling that he is trying to work on some feelings regarding adoption and he is having trouble verbalizing his fears or questions. A little while after he has these episodes, he becomes very clingy and tells us that he is sorry and he doesn't hate us. All I can say when he tells us he hates us is "that's okay if you feel that way, but I love you no matter what". When he apologizes, I re-emphasize that I love him so much and if he needs to talk about anything I am here for him.

I plan on getting some age appropriate adoption books this week and we will read them together. Hopefully that will help us out.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Today Bill and I have been married for seven years. Of course, I just realized this yesterday. Our anniversary just kind of sneaked up on me this year. (Bill too, so at least I'm not alone on the whole forgetting our anniversary.)

Who would have thought all of those years ago that we would have even gotten married? We've been together for nine, almost ten, years. When we met, he called me a lightning rod because of my piercings. I called him "normal" because he wore khakis and polo shirts. Today, he is still the sensible one of us. He is the stable to my unstable and the calm to my chaos. We may have our disagreements, but he is always by my side.

Each year I'm amazed that he's decided to stick with my crazy ways and I am grateful. Here's to many, many, many more years.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Vacation is going well. The first few days were hectic, only because the kids were super hyper. (Because vacation? With Nana and Grandaddy? Let's totally act like little heathens and get away with it!)

We went out on a boat today and went to Shell Island; that was beautiful. Of course, I didn't get sunscreen on my back. It is now lobster red. I'll post a picture, complete with glorious back fat, after we finish dinner.