Best Of The Web: April 19 – 26

THANKS, BUT NO THANKS

With the American Hockey League’s Calder Cup Playoffs getting set to kick off this weekend, it comes as no surprise that the marketing departments of the 16 qualifying teams will do all they can to attempt to pack their buildings with fans.

That includes even the Lightning’s top affiliate in Syracuse, who holds the third seed in the Eastern Conference after posting a 43-22-6-5 record and 97 points, and who is offering fans a discount of $3 off any regularly priced ticket for the first two games of its first-round series against the Portland Pirates.

It seems members of the staff exited the War Memorial offices this past week in favor of taking an outdoor field trip, in which they distributed coupons to those around the city either in person or by leaving them on the windshields of Syracuse residents’ cars. The individuals who received the coupon would then take it to the arena the night of the game, present it at the box office, and receive $3 off the price of admission.

Funny thing is, Crunch forward Tyler Johnson, the reigning AHL MVP, received one on his car.

He’ll already be there of course, not looking to save $3, but instead trying to help several of his teammates repeat as Calder Cup champions after winning the title with Norfolk last season prior to the affiliate’s move to Syracuse.

Even though Johnson himself won’t be able to bask in the glory of being on the receiving end of a good deal, it’s still safe to say that, judging by his Tweet, he is still going to savor the moment.

I mean, $3 off a ticket to a playoff game is good, but so is getting in free because you’re a professional hockey player named Tyler Johnson.

DESERT DAYS

In hockey, much like in all sports, the goal of any organization, more or less, is to sell as many tickets as possible to bump their bottom line.

But just how exactly does an organization get the residents of its particular city to buy in?

Easy.

Do something crazy, while at the same time giving the fans an ultimatum.

That’s just what four members of the management team of the Central Hockey League’s Arizona Sundogs did, when they spent four days in the blistering sun of the Arizona desert atop a scissor lift, and refused to come down until the team sold 300 new season ticket packages.

Talk about dedication to the fans.

According to a story in The National Post, four men – the team’s general manager, one of the club’s co-owners, a front office employee and the team captain – each had been on top of the scissor lift for approximately 96 hours prior to Thursday at 2 p.m. when the group found out that the team was still 31 tickets shy of hitting its goal.

No worries, it seemed, as the men insisted they had been fed well, and in general, had been brought the proper supplies necessary to survive up there, which of course included plenty of water and sunscreen.

HE GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND A SPEEDING TICKET IS ONE

I’m not so sure something like this could have been scripted any better.

Recently, San Jose Sharks play-by-play announcer Randy Hahn was caught on camera for speeding down the famed Wayne Gretzky Drive in Edmonton, the three-mile stretch of road named in honor of The Great One, in – you guessed it – the year 1999.

Like many municipal streets and highways across the United States and Canada, it often catches unlawful drivers exceeding speed limits of 50 miles per hour.

Anyways, Hahn received a notice in the mail from his car rental company claiming that one of these said speed cameras had caught him in the act during a recent road trip north of the border, although the letter failed to mention just exactly how fast he was traveling.

Rather than getting mad, however, Hahn simply took into account the circumstances and simply found it all rather hilarious.

He is a hockey commentator. This was Wayne Gretzky Drive. If this had happened to anyone else, particularly not someone enamored with hockey or even knowledgeable about the sport, this wouldn’t be all that funny.

But considering it happened to Hahn, this just seemed all too perfect.

Why exactly?

Because the monetary cost of the infraction was, to no surprise, exactly $99.

Regarding the situation, this is what Hahn had to say on his personal blog he writes for the Sharks’ official team web site:

“I don't dispute that I was probably over the limit. As I recall, Drew Remenda was in the car with me and we were almost certainly distracted breaking down the Sharks power play breakout. But when I took a closer look at the ticket, I was floored. I was speeding on Wayne Gretzky Drive and my ticket was for $99. Either that's a planned thing so people don't feel so bad about paying the fine or its one of the greatest coincidences ever! Either way, for the first time in my life, I'm framing my speeding ticket.”