July 20, 2008

The story as to why I was not actively blogging lately....It has been a week now since I have fired yaya Rose, Joaqui's nanny since he was almost 1 month. It was not easy, but the reason did not come from us. Yaya Rose was a relative of our family friend and we knew her way back. She now has two daughters, one in high school and one in college. When her husband was forced to retire early, she approached my mom and was applying to be a yaya since she was not doing anything and to have an income. We finally got her after having three nannies who either couldn't really perform well or was just really not competent enough to take care of a baby. Yaya Rose lives near from us so she comes in the morning and then goes home in the evening. She is really good in taking care of children, I even leaned a lot from her. She also does some household chores when Joaqui as asleep and helps my mom in some housework. We did not treat her as a yaya, we treated her as one of us. Sometimes when we go out and eat, I also buy something for her daughters. We give her a gift when it's her birthday. We also give her daughters Christmas presents. When my mother-in-law comes to visit, she would give Yaya Rose pasalubong also. I was also not strict with her time. At first she comes in at 8 a.m. and leaves at 7 p.m. Recently before the schoolyear begins, she asked if she could come in at 11 p.m. and go home at 9 p.m. I reluctantly agreed because I needed her at that time, but still she never heard any complaint from us.I just realized now that the problem began when her husband went to Saudi to work. When she started to work for us, we knew she was an active officer for the PTA in a public highschool in our place. I knew that every May, she has to take a leave for a week to help in the school during enrolment, but this year she asked for two weeks of leave. I agreed that she would not be in for two weeks, but on the day that she was supposed to come for work, she said that she had personal problems, she was always dizzy, etc. and she could not come in until the next week. Eventhough I am a work-at-home mom, I still need someone to look after Joaqui so that I can do my work, especially now that Joaqui is so active. She is aware of my situation and I have asked her before to avoid being absent because if I could not work, I do not have an income. These episodes of not coming to work have become more and more frequent that almost every week, she has one or two days of absences. The reasons would be her daughter has fever (eh hello...college na kaya yun di ba...?!), or she has LBM, etc., etc. The one time that I really lost my patience was when she asked for an advance and then she did not come for three days (Wednesday, Thursday, Friday)!!! She finally showed up only on Saturday and Sunday and then was absent again on Monday...arrrgghhhh! So I finally asked her...ako pa nag-ask...when she came in on Tuesday, she did not offer an apology or an explanation as to why she was absent on Monday. I asked her if she still wants to work for us, she just answered "ikaw ang bahala." I was waiting for more than that. I was waiting for her to say, "naku hindi naman, etc., etc..." So that was a signal for me that she does not want to work for us anymore. I asked her to stay for a month until we can get a replacement. She said she would give me until the end of July...o di ba sya pa nagbigay ng date. We had an agreement, which I thought we did. The following day she texted me saying her mother had an emergency and she could not wait until the end of July. Napamahal na daw yung bata sa kanya and ayaw daw nya maghiwalay kami ng ganitong paraan...duh?! We had an agreement until the end of July...she stil owed me money from her previous advances.For a week, I was taking care of Joaqui and working at the same time. I do not know how I did it, but I did it. I was yaya-less but still working. What saddens me though is that hindi sya itinuring na iba. We treated her well. Everytime she has problems with money and she would come to me sometimes for a month's worth of salary as advance, she did not need to ask twice. I was thinking that because her husband is now working abroad that she does not need to work anymore...well I hope she is right. That's my kwentong yaya for now. She was a good yaya to Joaqui and I hope we could find someone as good as her.

July 8, 2008

Topic: What would you like your children to be when they grow up, and why?

As parents, we all have dreams for our children - we want the best for them that this world can offer. Some of us may see our children as extension of our lives that we want them to be what we are and sometimes what we had hoped to become but did not.

I dream that Joaqui would be a musician. At such a young age, he loves to sing and dance. Whenever he hears someone singing, he would watch intently. When we hear mass, we would always sit by the choir because he likes to watch them sing. He now can sing alleluia, alleluia amen. When at the mall, he would stop and watch those people singing on the videoke and would imitate them. He is sensitive to the rhythm of the sounds that he hears, be it animal sounds, musical instruments or songs. I think he would make a great musician someday.

I also dream that Joaqui would become a chef. He is such a voracious eater and is fond of eating (like his parents). When he was learning to talk, one of the first words he said was "yum, yum." Since then, when he sees food he would say "yum, yum" and sometimes if he really likes what he is eating would add "charap." I would love to see Joaqui become a chef someday and he would be so cute in a chef's uniform ; )

I could dream a million things about my son and somehow wish that all of them would come true, but in the end, as a parent I would support whatever dream he wants to pursue. I dream that my children would lead good lives. I would want them to live a full life and reach for their dreams with act of kindness and love every step of the way.

July 7, 2008

This question had been in my mind for quite some time and I really don't know why this came up, so I decided to post this question for my fellow n@wies (newlywedsatwork). I was overwhelmed by the many responses I got and the different insights into this question. Yes, there are women who naturally would want to have children and there are those who would plot out a game plan with regards to their family life, and that includes whether to have children or not, and when to have them. There was a question of being ready physically, emotionally, spiritually or financially, and there are those whose time has not come yet for them to bear their offsprings.I wanted to have children even before I got married, but I was also afraid that I would not be the kind of parent that my family expects me to be and I also had fears of what kind of life can I give to my children. Jeff and I had plans to have children a year after our marriage, but our plans and my fears were conquered by a great need to nurture and love. When Joaqui was born, I was overwhelmed by the love that I have for my child that sometimes I could not believe the joy this kind of love brings.Having children is a gift from God that we can accept or not - a choice that we have to make. If we accept this gift, it is our responsibility to nurture this gift not only to bring forth happiness for ourselves but also to God who gave it. It is a gift that is given in His time, and while some of us wanted to accept this gift, it is only God who knows when to give it to us. As I became a parent, I have learned to give the best of myself to a life not my own. I have experienced happiness in both the complexity and simplicity of being a mother. I have learned to give and make someone else's happiness and welfare my priority before my own.It's never a simple question and for the hardships and sacrifices for having them, the heart has it's reasons that reasons know nothing of.

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