First I have to say I apologize if my posts are few and far between for the next couple months. I’m a CPA in the middle of tax season, so I’m busy to say the least. With that said, I am so happy that I have a couple of followers, I truly didn’t know if anyone would enjoy my blog, but like I’ve said before I can only hope that like me, other parents like to know they are not alone! Now, onward….

I am an only child, which might explain my anxiety level when around loud, chaotic situations (hmmm, like family life on a daily basis) – I’m working on that, by the way, the anxiety. I don’t know much about handling sibling disputes or about the emotions that come with not always being the center of attention. That might say a lot about me, but I like to think I’m not a spoiled brat because of my only-child-ness. My husband has stories of times when he talked his little brother into doing whatever naughty thing they were plotting. He has the best stories about their plans to play quietly in the late evening so no one would notice it was past bed time – that is until one took the legos that the other was playing with and someone yelled. I have no experience with this. However, now I have these two girls and I’m trying to learn to play referee and split my time; deal with the guilt that comes along with days when I give one more attention than the other, and teach them about loving each other despite hating each other at times.

I do know one thing about siblings though – I always wanted one. I try to tell my girls (well, my 4-year-old, the 15 month old doesn’t quite understand) how lucky they are to have each other. I make K promise that she will always take care of her little sister and love her. I feel blessed because she has always been a very sweet big sister. Seeing the two of them sitting on the couch together in the morning, snuggling, makes my heart melt. The adoration that J has for her big sister is something I’ve never witnessed before. She watches, so intently, everything she does; she asks about her when I go into her room if she’s awake in the middle of the night -“Kiki?” she says as she points out the door of her room. I still, to this day, wish I had this. I wish I had someone who understood the complexities of my family, someone to love my kids as much as I do, someone to get away with once in a while and just reminisce about childhood, someone to help me take care of my parents as they get older. Maybe this perspective of mine will help me to teach my kids how wonderful it is to have siblings, despite what I don’t know about having one.

I pray that my girls will grow up to be best friends; that they will love and appreciate each other, that they will take care of each other and each other’s children. I know sometimes it doesn’t work out this way with siblings, but I can’t even think about that as a possibility – it would break my heart. For now, I’ll just keep hammering in that they are so very lucky to be sisters!