Stage 4 Esophageal Cancer

Cant see how a Roy Keane biography would be funny, unless deliberately breaking someone leg an d ruining his career and getting away with it,(Alf inge Haaland) is funny but what do I know. Patrick viera and mick Mcarthy were the only 2 people who ever stood up to him but hey ho, whatever gets you through the chemo.

Hey Martin, I'm not that miserable, ha ha.

The river walk. Yeah it went ahead, I still being blamed for our break up , but, I said goodbye to the dog which was important to me . I won't see her again I don't think although we had a pleasant time. I think the race is run.

Martin, just my opinion and I don't know how much jip the hernia is giving you but it seems to me that the chemo is more important.

Thanls for your input regarding my waterworks problems martini , of course you are right, the scam should show up any cancer , gonna get the nurse on Tuesday to take a urine sample?

Thanks Catj also for your input, at first, my gut feeling was that it's an infection but now I think it could be something more sinister .

Sorry to hear that the walk ended with a bit of finality, but that I guess is up to you. I’m afraid I’ve got no experience in that sort of thing other than breaking up with girlfriends when is was young. Those were always final, I never tried to go back.

Thanks for your thoughts on the hernia issue. I think I’ve come to the same conclusion. If it’s got into my lymphatic system in a big way, there’s no telling where it may go, and chemo. is the only way to try and stop it. So I think I know what the decision will be on Monday.

Anyway, chin up Pete. I expect that today was a bit of an emotional one.

Eell lets hope that it's not got into your lymphatic system in a big way.

Hopefully, you will have the chemo, get your hernia repair and be good to go!

The waterworks thing is worrying me a bit, gonna mention it to the nurse and then, like you say, see what the scan shows up?I am very resistant to be pulled about anymore, endoscopes, colonoscopys, why bother when I know where this is going?

Before last night , Arsenal all had only played Napoli twice and both times the score was 2-0 so after a 2-0 last night what are the odds of it being 2-0 again?Just in the interests of symmetry?

Didnt really feel emotional after the walk yesterday , we made a loose arrangement to do it all again next week but she stresses me out, not a criticism as there ere two sides to it all, and, I dunno, maybe it's best left now?Maybe if feel different if I didn't hand this sword of Damocles hanging over me?

Christianity explored was good this morning, very informal sat amongst very kind people?I am not like most of those present who have what seems to be an unshakeable faith , I am definitely not an atheist or an agnostic and do possess a mustard seed of faith.

What are you up to this weekend?Anything exciting?

My sister is coming down, left London a short while ago and should arrive about 8.

Just had nice lunch with three chaps I used to play golf with. It was good to see them and have a bit of a catch up, and see what I'm missing.

Got my daughter from Lincolnshire down for the weekend, plus a day or two. It's actually her birthday tomorrow, and her husband's was about a month ago. We bought them a couple of seats to go and see the Book of Mormon in London tomorrow. I found that to be be one of the funniest shows I'd seen for many a long year when we went to see it a couple of years back. We got them matinee tickets so we'll drop at the station (it's a good service into London - about 45 minutes) and they can grab a bite of lunch before the show. Then my daughter wanted me to do one of my curries for the evening, so that's the plan for Saturday.

Sunday will perhaps see my other daughter, who lives in the village, coming over for Sunday lunch. Then it's footie.

I think I mentioned this, but Monday will see us at the Cotswold Wildlife Park where our grandson has a junior keeper morning. Then the afternoon I'm back to the Churchill to talk about my hernia. I suspect it'll be delayed until after the chemo, which is probably right.

Apologies if I misinterpreted how you described your walk with your ex. but at least there's the pooch.

Didn't bother with the match last night, I'm afraid. It was only Arsenal - hee hee.

I do quite envy you doing this Christianity Explored. If it's done right it could be quite fascinating. I'm not religious by any stretch of the imagination but I do get interested in history, and myths and legends - make of that what you will. If the talks/discussions cover that sort of thing.

Good luck with the Churchill tomorrow afternoon, I hope that they are in accordance with what you suggest,(or vice Versa) I'm up for this patient power.

Only in this country would they expect a team to play Watford 20.00 on the Monday night and then away to Napoli on the Thursday night at 20.00 in a match that could define that teams season!! However, that's what's happening to Arsenal, no help from the premier league atall, no re-scheduling of the Watfrord game. Quite frankly, it's disgusting!It happens at this time of year most years, it's not because it's my team but if it were in Spain or Italy or another European country they would not be asked to play the Monday night fixture.

Anyway, so it goes on between Liverpool and your lot, looking at Liverpools run in, you may have to win every game

I hope your family enjoyed the Book of Mormon, what's it about, is it a send up of Mormons beliefs?

My sister went to Butlins in Minehead a few weeks ago, it was a 70's weekend and she had backstage passes. Anyway, she met Meryl Osmond and said there wasn't a lot to him or words to that effect.Hes a Mormon . I know nothing about what they believe.

Dont worry about offending me regarding the river walk, actually, having no future is quite liberating. I said to my sister that women have always been a let down, in jest you understand, it was funny at the time!I said to her, I haven't got to worry about mutually exclusive relationships anymore.

I hope your grandson enjoys being a Zookeeper tomorrow and that you have all had a good weekend. In a perfect world I could try one of your curries. Do you make them spicy?

Christianity explored. Mmm, it's a subject really close to my heart, were we to meet, I'm sure we could talk for ages about it.To be honest, I could write page after page. Like you I have an interest in myths and legends. Would I describe myself as religious?No, not atall, state after state throughout the ages have used religion as a means to coerce it's populace into submission . That's religion , so no, I am not religious .

Martin, I'm gonna stop writing about this now , it's turning into something other than I want it to be, however, if you are happy to carry on down this road, I am gonna talk about new-atheism and liberalisation and exactly what Christianity means to me.

Thanks for the good wishes regarding today's meeting at the hospital. I think I know where it'll go. I think they'll recommend having the chemo first., then sort out the hernia (if at all). But we'll see.

You're up tomorrow for a scan, if I remember, so I hope that goes well although I don't suppose you'll find out much until you see the oncologist next week.

Not sure what you're moaning about with Arsenal playing Thursday having played tonight. City play Wednesday, having played yesterday. Only a few hours difference. Moany gooner - lol.

I think both City and Liverpool need to win every game, but I think City have the hard matches.Not sure how the match against United will go although the luck seemed to have disappeared from Solskjaer.

On the Book of Mormon, from what I remember, I don't think it a send up of their beliefs it's more of a send up of their approach to recruitment in Africa. I just remember it as being hilarious, and my daughter and her husband thoroughly enjoyed it. I'll be honest I'm not sure of their take on Christianity, similarly I'm not sure what the difference is between protestants and Catholics in essence other than the politics of the two churches.

Did you have a good time with your sister, and is she still with you?

I've just seen them all off to the zoo, I'm sure they'll enjoy it. Regarding my curries, my daughters do seem to enjoy them. I don't make them overly spicy. If they're too hot I don't think you can taste the flavours. I like to grind my own spices which makes quite a difference in my book. I tend to use Madhur Jaffrey's recipes on the whole.

I do like to try and understand different religious beliefs, so if you wanted to try and discus them, no problem. May be this isn't the form for that though. I'm happy to send you my email address if you want, and then you could bore me to death by email (lol).

Chemo will probably be the better route for the moment. I’m sure the hernia you can feel if not see so you can monitor it yourself the tumour is harder to monitor without scans. Although my dad had a hernia removed and was back on his feet a couple of days later.

Its all about what will give you the best quality of life - my husband of his feet weren’t a major issue awaiting amputation he would say chemo all the time, especially with the Herceptin.

But one thing buy some “udder cream” from amazon and moisturise your hands and feet before you start the chemo and every day of the chemo this was the only thing that sorted out his hand foot syndrome and it’s a great moisturiser. Even if the toxins don’t affect you your hands and feet will be so soft I wish we had been told this before the chemo.

I am definitely a moany gooner? Have to be, it's our only chance.zThey were terrible against Everton, terrible against Watford and in all probability will be terrible against Napoli, if we moan hard enough maybe the God of small things will take pity on us !

Sorry Martin, can't give you my e. Mail address as this is my daughters old hand me down I phone and it won't verify my I d so , I can receive e mails but cannot send them?- However, my mob number is 07517 540140 if you want to send me a text and of course, I understand if you don't want to get that close, I will take no offence

You never told me the outcome of your visit to Churchill on Monday, have you opted for the chemo?

That hand and foot cream is called udderly smooth.

The last few days have been awful for me. My sister went back on. Sunday morning? On Monday I woke up in terrible pain, I had to have a medication review, they upped the morphine and the pain is more manageable now. You are right old son, my son took me for my scan tonight, oncologist next Tuesday , I said to my son I'm really apprehensive.(scared) , he said let's enjoy the next six days and then worry about it!

Man U already 2 down, messi again, best player I've ever seen closely followed by maradonna, a country of 30 million produces the best 2 players of all time, incredible, though I don't remember pele too well,

Sorry but city vs Spurs is a fifty fifty tie though obviously I want city to win.

Excellent results last night, shame about United (hee hee). I'm not confident about City's chances against Spurs tonight, so I'll probably watch it in a darkened room with the phone switched off.

Sorry you're not on emails but no problem. I thought it may be easier if you were going to go into theology in depth, texts will suffice. My number is 07746330100 if you're so inclined.

The Monday meeting was quite interesting. Although the hernia repair waiting list is about 5 months, the doctor believed he could bounce me up the list and get me done in about 2-3 weeks, and provided everything went OK 2-3 weeks later I could start the chemo. The oncologist was quite relaxed about this as the tumour itself hadn't grown in the last three months, there was no reason why the chemo couldn't be delayed for 6-8 weeks. This sounded pretty good to me, so we're currently progressing on that basis. If it doesn't happen I'll ask for the chemo to start asap.

I'm really sorry to hear that the weekend has been rotten. Hopefully you're feeling a bit more comfortable now.

Your son's dead right, the scans out of the way and you can't change the results. Enjoy the next few days as much as possible, put the whole thing out of your mind (if you can) and leave things until next Tuesday.

Hope you enjoyed your omelette. We actually had a takeaway last night (not something we often do) but he curry wasn't bad.