will you survive the zombie apocalypse?

The Notorious Rick Grimes/Pinhead Switcheroo

A little personal story, here. I ordered an item off eBay, a “deformed” vinyl figure of Pinhead from HELLRAISER, ‘cause it’s adorable, and as we have previously established I’m a sucker for things that manage to be both creepy and adorable at the same time. (Madballs, PUPPETMASTER, Gremlins, and the like.) There was, however, a problem. My package arrived, politely deposited at my residence by my local mail carrier. I see the plain brown box and I get all excited, because I know that I am about to welcome my little Pinhead into my home. I take it inside and open it. It’s not Pinhead. It’s a Funko figure of Rick Grimes from THE WALKING DEAD. W.The literal F. I didn’t order this!

More puzzling, the receipt and shipping information on the inside of the box, containing the address of the person who was supposed to get this figure, are all in French. Now how exactly does one accidentally ship something to Ala-freakin-bama instead of France? As my printer conked out a little while back and I have yet to get around to replacing it, I now have to save the return shipping label on a flashdrive and go to my nearest Staples or Office Depot just to print the damn thing out; that, or pay for the return shipping myself. I contacted the seller, whose name I won’t reveal—YET—and told him I want a discount on the Pinhead figure for my trouble. Whether or not I get it—I’ll take a measly buck. It’s the PRINCIPAL of the thing, not the money, which may determine whether or not this seller remains anonymous.

The point of all this is this: I don’t have any interest in any figures based on human characters from THE WALKING DEAD. I only care about the zombies. Especially the Funko zombies. They’re adorable.