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What if you lived your entire life in one room? Whoever you want
to interact with in life is in that room. You can continually
change your room to include any and all of the new possibilities
that you might like to have in your life. However, there is one
unique feature to this room that will never change – it has only
one door. It is a one-way door with a sign that says, “enter
only.” There is no exit. Whoever is in your room stays in your
room forever. Whoever comes into your room and whatever they
bring with them, cannot leave – ever. They will remain in your
room, with you, forever. If this were true, would you be more
selective about the people that you let into your room? When I’ve
asked people this question, I have always received a resounding,
“Yes, I would be a lot more selective!”

So, what kind of room have you created? If you live a life with
drama all around you, then what people did you let into your life
that created that drama? If your life is full of chaos, who was
it that brought that chaos into the room? Are there harsh, angry,
or toxic people in your room? If so, who allowed them in? Does
your life feel frenetic and complex? Could it be that you let too
many people (especially the wrong ones) into your room?

Right about now, most people who I’ve introduced this concept to
are having an “OMG moment.” I can actually see the wheels turning
in people’s expressions while they think about the type of room
they reside in. One woman I spoke to said, “My life is like the
waiting room of an ER. I keep letting in one wreck after
another!”

Stop for a moment and think, “Who’s in my room?” Take a quick
inventory. Ask yourself how you might have lived your life
differently had you known that anybody you let into your room
might actually be there forever. Then think about how, going
forward, you are going to determine which people to let into your
room and which you’ll keep in the foyer.

The people in your room profoundly affect the view you have of
yourself and your life. At this point, it doesn’t actually matter
how any of the people in your room got there, what came in with
them, or whether you can get them out. You may have invited them
in or they may have pushed their way in. They may be in your room
because they are family or because you think you need them. If
they are in your room, one way or another, their presence greatly
impacts the quality of your life – for better or for worse.

Going forward you can become vigilant and attentive to who’s
knocking on your door. You can learn to manage who and what has
already gained entry. You can set better guidelines that
determine who you let inside, as well as how to manage the
current occupancy and what they brought with them.

You might not be able to permanently eject people or things that
are already in your room but you can definitely – permanently –
change how those people and things occupy your space.

The quality of your life is a direct reflection of who is in your
room. How you manage who you let into your room, your life, or
your network is very important. How do you go about choosing who
you let in? The answer is a “metaphorical” doorman or a conscious
awareness of your values and passions. Do you know what they are?
If not, you need to spend time thinking about the values you hold
dear and the kind of people you want to be around. Nobody gets in
who doesn’t meet your personal values. Ask yourself, “Are there
people close to me that don’t live my values now? Would I have
let them in if I had thought about this concept before letting
them close to me?”

This concept fits perfectly with building a powerful personal
network. The people we bring in close to us should be people we
want to work with. They should be people who share our values and
our passions. Understanding this simple concept can help us
choose between a person who we think has a skill set we need vs a
value set we wish to emulate.

We design the room with the people we live in. We can do that
consciously or we can do that by happenstance. The choice is
ours. “Who’s in your room?” Knowing this concept now – what would
you do differently in the future? I’d love to hear your thoughts.