@TiddleypopsAt the point that the divorce was applied for we had agreed the divorce terms as adultery but it took awhile to get him to agree to a divorce on these grounds. I did draft a petition based on his unreasonable behaviour previously but he would t agree to the behaviours, it didn't make a nice read. He eventually agreed that adultery would be better for everyone! (Also it was the reason we split) Otherwise we would have needed to wait for 2 years separation which would have meant starting this process now.

We thrashed out the financial side before applying for the divorce. This delayed me applying for the divorce as I didn't want to do it unless we had a deal that allowed me to buy him out of the house. That was very difficult to be honest but we got there in the end without mediation etc.

How do you think your H will respond? Mine didn't acknowledge (although not living at the same address so not even speaking!) but I've now applied for the Decree Nisi.......I expect he's going to feel like he's been run over by a tank emotionally? x

Hmmm well it's difficult to say. He's very good at denial and ignoring things in the hope they'll go away. However when forced into a corner, he's more responsive and I'm hoping I'll know he's had the papers because we're still in the same house.

I can't believe your H didn't respond. It must be infuriating, as it just causes more delays.

Tiddlypops, I can! I expected it, he made his 1st wife wait 5 years for a divorce and refused to sign the AOS (although she petitioned on 2 yrs separation) I'm not sure if he's actually aware that I don't need his consent? ....the evil part of me hopes not as it'll be a huge shock to him to realise that his not signing hasn't achieved what he thinks will happen......It's not just the delays, it's the extra cost in having him personally served....add an extra £160 to the basic fees already paid out!

Our Husbands must've been Brothers in a former life - alcoholics - although mine was a VERY secret drinker, & the denial & ignoring things in the hope that they'll go away.....he'd rather stick his head down the toilet than face up to real life & consequences!

Wow @FishesThatFly which court was this? I was so focused on my consent order when I rang Bury for an update I didn't even enquire about the absolute! Yes that 6 week countdown is so annoying. What do they think is going to change between the at least 4 months from applying for the nisi & having it approved!! Would love to see some divorce reform in the UK..

That's interesting- we've been separated for 6 years and until this summer, I'd been quite willing to let him have it all. My solicitor said that the order would most likely be denied if I did that (and that would be the right thing to do- I was quite willing to give up everything)

I can't remember ( I don't want too) but he left me in the August and I was divorced from him in the following May. I took the paper to be stamped to court myself and I wanted the divorce to be completed on our 20th wedding anniversary

Good for you! Congrats. ( it’s lovely to know that this will end at some point) DH has just told me he’ll be out of the country for 3 weeks at a time each month from next year. Why is it that the system allows parents to walk away from their kids and yet not force them to make a financial contribution? And I agree it takes way too long!