The long-suffering voice of the Denver Nuggets manages to remain on an even keel when the team is playing over its collective head, as well as when it's failing to meet expectations (a much more common scenario). Jerry Schemmel's no-muss-no-fuss delivery and the matter-of-fact tone he uses when expressing his opinions may be the main reason fans of the sub-par squad haven't yet leapt off the nearest cliff.

Quit the funny business! The newspaper war's over, and the terms of the settlement make readers the undisputed victors in one area: comics. Come April, the Denver Post will boast the largest Sunday comics section in the country, since it's adding the Rocky Mountain News's former lineup to its own on that day. (The News will return the favor by running the Post's comics on Saturday -- but those aren't the big, four-color Sunday funnies.) You might not give a hoot about Willy 'n' Ethel, much less that fusspot Nancy. But for many readers, comic strips are the most important part of their Sunday paper -- and they complain long and hard whenever the dailies fool around with them. Now, though, it won't be a matter of one paper stealing Garfield from the other -- they'll share weekend custody of the curmudgeonly cat. But since the Post won the right to print the town's only Sunday rag, that's where you'll find the lollapalooza of laughs -- everything from A (Annie, Little Orphan) to Z (Zippy the Pinhead). It's double the pleasure, double the funnies.

To the chagrin of her editors, reporter/columnist Lynn Bartels wrote in an October 1 piece that the prose in a "how-to tome for incoming lawmakers" by the Office of Legislative Legal Services was "so technical and boring it reads like the Denver Post."

In a September 18 column, Chuck Green, who's done more crowing about the Post's JOA victory than anyone this side of Dean Singleton, wrote that he'd never considered switching to the Rocky Mountain News during his time in newspapering for a simple reason: "Why work for a bunch of liars and thieves when you can fight on the side of goodness and virtue -- and come out the winner, too?"

It's not easy being rich. There are expensive cars to buy, blobs of caviar to eat, old friends to ignore. So how does the aspiring millionaire learn how to live up to his Diamond Jim destiny? In school, of course -- specifically, the University of Denver, which last year made "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" one of its seventy freshmen seminars. Professor Robert Mills offered students their choice of several millionaire lifestyles, then reported on how they would live them out. The one-credit class was one of seventy freshman seminars intended to keep students interested in school. Now, about that financial aid.

It's not easy being rich. There are expensive cars to buy, blobs of caviar to eat, old friends to ignore. So how does the aspiring millionaire learn how to live up to his Diamond Jim destiny? In school, of course -- specifically, the University of Denver, which last year made "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" one of its seventy freshmen seminars. Professor Robert Mills offered students their choice of several millionaire lifestyles, then reported on how they would live them out. The one-credit class was one of seventy freshman seminars intended to keep students interested in school. Now, about that financial aid.