Recently, my high school celebrated their class reunion in Ohio. I was unable to attend, but I have been seeing pictures posted on Facebook. It’s astonishing that I only recognize a couple of people! Everyone has gotten so much older and many don’t look like they did when we were in school. Then it dawned on me. If they’re looking older, then that means I’M looking older! Where has time gone!?! It seems like it was just yesterday that I was a majorette, marching in the band, and hanging with my friends. I noticed that just about all of us have gained a little weight, lost a little hair, and have a few more wrinkles on our faces. Getting older isn’t for sissies, that’s for sure. Our minds tend to remain young, but for some reason, our bodies continue to age. We think we can still do all the things we did when we were younger, but our bodies tell us otherwise. But try we do! And then there’s the memory, or what there is of it. I now tend to forget things a little easier. In fact, I call them memoroids and I have more of them as time goes on. I’ve pretty much come to peace with getting older. Peace with wrinkles, an extra flab here and there, fewer hairs, and not having the energy I had when I was younger. There are times when I dread getting any older, but I also want to be one of those who ages with grace. One who embraces the changes in my body and mind. But I also know that I don’t have to accept the labels that society tends to put on older people. I don’t have to expect age related illnesses just because someone says I should be getting them at a certain age. I don’t have to conform to others who say I should act my age. Personally, I don’t believe in age. If Einstein proved that there’s no such thing as time, then there’s no such thing as age. Besides, I refuse to be identified by a number whether it’s my age or my weight! I’ve been fortunate in that I’ve developed a pretty healthy self-esteem by now…most of the time. I still have my moments of feeling insecure, inferior, and feeling unworthy, but usually I feel pretty good about myself. I like the person I’ve become; I just don’t always like the person I’m not. And sometimes I look in the mirror and think, “Who is that woman?!?” Some days I think I look pretty good for my age, and then other days I think I look like an ugly hag. Healthy self-esteem sure is needed when hearing the honesty of young children. I’ve been told I’m old several times. One little one asked me how old I was and I teasingly said I was six. She replied, “You can’t be six! Six year olds don’t have squiggles on their face and you have squiggles! My grandma has squiggles!” So, now I have squiggles. As I look back over my life since my days in school, I see how I have grown. It hasn’t been easy and I’ve had my share of challenges. Some I didn’t think I’d make it through, but for whatever reasons, I persevered and in hindsight, I see that those challenges made me a stronger and better person. Certain segments of society tells us that we’re not good enough unless we look a certain way, act a certain way, or that we need to conform to what everyone else is doing. We were made to be unique! There is no one else like us in the world! I wish we could all learn early just how wonderful, magnificent, and miraculous we really are! We could live with our heads held high knowing that we are the best there is and it has nothing to do with anyone else! With age comes wisdom, knowledge, and a knowing that age really is a state of mind. The Bible also states that we were made in God’s image, which makes us glorious and splendid beings living a human experience! Donna Lynn Hope said, “Youth. I don’t seek it through another because I have it within; it’s a state of mind, a spirit that is free, and a mind that is playful. The shell of my being is altered by the effects of time, but nothing will tarnish a soul that will never forget what it’s like to experience creation with endless wonder and appreciation.” Embrace life! Embrace your age! Let’s all learn to age gracefully and be proud of our squiggles! We’ve earned them! Published in the Cookeville Herald Citizen newspaper September 19, 2014.

Empathy is described as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. I guess you could say I’m an “empath.” Dr. Judith Orloff explains that “Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments when it comes to emotions. They feel everything, sometimes to an extreme… Intuition is the filter through which they experience the world. The trademark of empaths is that they know where you’re coming from.” Once I started on a serious spiritual journey, my feelings of empathy grew naturally based on the wisdom I was gaining from spirituality and upon my experiences in life. Being so sensitive has its good and bad points. The good side is that I can really sense what someone is going through. I can see the bigger picture and it’s taught me to have so much more compassion for others. The bad side is that I tend to take on other people’s energies, as well as the weight of the world, and sometimes it can be very draining. Looking back, I’ve learned from so many of my life experiences. Living on an Indian Reservation in British Columbia helped me understand what it’s like to live on the rez and what American Indians experience. Pursuing an acting career in Hollywood and Nashville, as well as meeting and getting to know so many celebrities and others in the industry, helped me to understand what it’s like to be a celebrity and being in the entertainment business. In my early 20’s, I had friends who were alcoholics. I tried drinking to keep up with my peers, but one hangover cured me of ever doing that again and it helped me understand why people drink. Being bullied helped me to understand what it’s like to be bullied, as well as understand why people bully. Having weight issues has allowed me to understand others who struggle with their weight. My food addiction (sugarholic) helped me understand what it’s like for those with addictions. Struggling with low self-esteem, self-worth, and confidence much of my life has allowed me to understand those who also struggle with these issues. My breakdown in 1997 and the subsequent depression for a year or two after helped me understand those who suffer from being in that dreadful, dark abyss. Being financially challenged has helped me understand others who are having financial difficulties. Trying to pay for my own insurance has helped me understand what it’s like for those who don’t have insurance or the money to pay for medical care. Being an extremist in my religious beliefs in my younger years helped me understand why people want to hang on to what they believe without any wiggle room to learn anything new. I’d like to add that having friends from all spectrums of life including those who are gay, transgender, and every color, race, religion, and walk of life has helped me understand what it’s like for them in today’s day and age. Surprisingly, all of these experiences have been great blessings. I’m one to find the good in everything anyway, and even though some things were no fun at all while going through them, looking back in hindsight, I can say I’m thankful for those experiences. If nothing else I learned to understand on a deeper level and to have more love, compassion, and understanding, not only for others, but for myself. As I healed and overcame, I can now help others do the same. Does it make me better than anyone? Far from it. But I learned from my experiences and I learned to be empathetic. To really learn to love people, you have to look beyond the obvious. Everyone has a story. And even though everyone’s story is different, we all have the commonality of sharing in love and joy, pain and suffering, and just wanting to be happy. There are those who avoid empathy because it’s easier to demonize individuals or groups of people, which only keeps us separate. When you have empathy, you realize we’re all really one, and God loves us all just the same. I believe that Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, Mohammed, and all the other great spiritual masters throughout time were the greatest teachers of empathy. Empathy is the key to unconditional love. Henry David Thoreau said, “Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?” To do so is to touch their soul. And when you develop your powers of empathy, you’d be surprised at how much the world opens up to you. You realize our souls are here playing a role in this great stage play called life and we’re all connected. When people can be empathic, humanity prevails. Published in the Cookeville Herald Citizen September 6, 2013.