Grief and healing in the Holy Land

By Adam J. Shoemaker

Published: Friday, July 18, 2014 at 03:18 PM.

On June 12, three Israeli teenagers, Eyal Yifrach, Gilad Shaar and Naftali Frankel, were abducted while hitchhiking in the West Bank. Their bodies were not found until nearly three weeks later, buried in a shallow grave in a field to the West of Hebron. On July 2, Mohammed Abu Khdeir, a 16-year-old Palestinian, disappeared. Israeli police believe his killing was revenge for the murder of the three Israeli teenagers, and the suspects in the case have admitted the crime, saying they poured gasoline on Mohammed and burned him alive. This is the latest development in the grim cycle of violence and retribution that routinely takes place in a land Christians, Jews and Muslims all call “holy.”

Shortly after these killings, it was reported that the family of one of the murdered Israelis, Naftali Frankel, and the family of the murdered Palestinian were drawing comfort from an unexpected source: each other. Jerusalem mayor Nir Barkat later commented, “The life of an Arab is equally precious to that of a Jew. Blood is blood, and murder is murder, whether that murder is Jewish or Arab.”

In a separate visit organized by Rabbi Rafi Ostroff, Palestinians from the Hebron area showed up at the door of the Frankel family to comfort the bereaved. Asked why they had come, one Palestinian said, “Things will only get better when we learn to cope with each other’s pain and stop getting angry at each other ... I see before me a Jewish family who has lost a son opening the door to me. That’s not obvious (and) it touched my heart.”

Conflict is never easy. One need only look at the seemingly intractable conflict in the Middle East or the soaring divorce rate in our own country, or countless examples from our own lives, to know how difficult it is to navigate.

Yet, Christians are called by God to work for reconciliation wherever possible, in even small ways — in our own lives and in our world. We are called to work for justice and peace — day by day — and this recent exchange of two grieving families, one Palestinian and one Israeli, is a good blueprint of how to begin that process: through love and understanding.

One of my favorite prayers that I learned while at a Franciscan high school was the “Peace Prayer of Saint Francis.” This famous prayer first appeared around the year 1915, and embodies the spirit of Saint Francis of Assisi’s simplicity and poverty. The prayer was not written by Francis, but first appeared written on a holy card of Saint Francis found in an almanac during World War I. The prayer bore no name, but came to be known as the “Peace Prayer of Saint Francis.”

“Lord make us instruments of your peace,” the prayer begins. “Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness joy. Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.” This prayer embodies a posture that can, in God’s time, lead to reconciliation and peace.

On June 12, three Israeli teenagers, Eyal Yifrach, Gilad Shaar and Naftali Frankel, were abducted while hitchhiking in the West Bank. Their bodies were not found until nearly three weeks later, buried in a shallow grave in a field to the West of Hebron. On July 2, Mohammed Abu Khdeir, a 16-year-old Palestinian, disappeared. Israeli police believe his killing was revenge for the murder of the three Israeli teenagers, and the suspects in the case have admitted the crime, saying they poured gasoline on Mohammed and burned him alive. This is the latest development in the grim cycle of violence and retribution that routinely takes place in a land Christians, Jews and Muslims all call “holy.”

Shortly after these killings, it was reported that the family of one of the murdered Israelis, Naftali Frankel, and the family of the murdered Palestinian were drawing comfort from an unexpected source: each other. Jerusalem mayor Nir Barkat later commented, “The life of an Arab is equally precious to that of a Jew. Blood is blood, and murder is murder, whether that murder is Jewish or Arab.”

In a separate visit organized by Rabbi Rafi Ostroff, Palestinians from the Hebron area showed up at the door of the Frankel family to comfort the bereaved. Asked why they had come, one Palestinian said, “Things will only get better when we learn to cope with each other’s pain and stop getting angry at each other ... I see before me a Jewish family who has lost a son opening the door to me. That’s not obvious (and) it touched my heart.”

Conflict is never easy. One need only look at the seemingly intractable conflict in the Middle East or the soaring divorce rate in our own country, or countless examples from our own lives, to know how difficult it is to navigate.

Yet, Christians are called by God to work for reconciliation wherever possible, in even small ways — in our own lives and in our world. We are called to work for justice and peace — day by day — and this recent exchange of two grieving families, one Palestinian and one Israeli, is a good blueprint of how to begin that process: through love and understanding.

One of my favorite prayers that I learned while at a Franciscan high school was the “Peace Prayer of Saint Francis.” This famous prayer first appeared around the year 1915, and embodies the spirit of Saint Francis of Assisi’s simplicity and poverty. The prayer was not written by Francis, but first appeared written on a holy card of Saint Francis found in an almanac during World War I. The prayer bore no name, but came to be known as the “Peace Prayer of Saint Francis.”

“Lord make us instruments of your peace,” the prayer begins. “Where there is hatred, let us sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness joy. Grant that we may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.” This prayer embodies a posture that can, in God’s time, lead to reconciliation and peace.

May we pray for peace in the Middle East, peace in our world and peace in our hearts. Let us all lovingly strive to be instruments of God’s peace.

The Rev. Adam J. Shoemaker is Rector of the Episcopal Church of the Holy Comforter in Burlington. He may be reached at