Category: 2017/2018

Hull City 6 Birmingham City 1 Hull City six. But it would be no less apt to have written “Hull City sex”. For this at times was as close to the genuine article as you could get: it was proper pulse-accelerating, breath-shortening, cheek-flushing, pupil-dilating (that’s enough: Listmeister) stuff. Granted, it wasn’t the finished article and …

Reading 1 City 1 To the Madejski, dull and unimaginative, the most colourless of the stadiums newly built round the country these last twenty years. Outside they sit in the September sunshine on friendly wooden benches, laughing and joking, shoving down burgers on the concourse, gulping chemical lager, tasteless and bland as the out of …

If ever you want to know what makes a touchline different from a goal line, or what materials football pitches have to be made of, then read Law 1 of the rules of association football. It’s not racy, nor is it unputdownable, and there are nopictures, but it’s handy. Especially if you’ve just watched a …

Fulham in the Autumn. It doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as Paris in the Spring, but it’s as pleasurable an away football experience as you’re likely to get on the face of it. Except Hull City don’t do pleasurable away experiences any more. I’m not that sure we still do pleasure full …

I hate football. Again. A trip to Derby on the telly looked likely to be a solid test of the newly assembled City squad and when asked before the game I predicted a narrow defeat on that basis. Not in my worst nightmares did I foresee the sort of capitulation we made a habit of …

I was unduly worried by the visit of Bolton Wanderers. Worried because though they’re newly promoted and under transfer restrictions, it seemed just our luck that City would go into the game with only one fit striker – Diomande. When Leonid Slutsky named the same team that finished at QPR last week, I was worried …

Any walker will tell you that even the wintriest and most fleeting shaft of sunshine can briefly illuminate the bleakest of landscapes. It needn’t last long, and it may change very little; but you savour it nonetheless. Savour this League Cup defeat at Doncaster, my friends. Marvel at our 2-0 loss to a side we …

If you are prone to bouts of depression then I advise not reading this report. Instead, here are some images of kittens to while away the time. If you are into self-flagellation then you might want to know more. Walking back to Shepherds Bush station, weaving through the blue and white hooped hordes and dodging …

Good news: I think we saw the best team in the league tonight. Bad news: it wasn’t us. I wasn’t sure what to make of Wolves at the start of the season. They spent a lot of money last summer on continental players and it never really worked out for them. But this time they …