In Case You’re Having Trouble Getting It Up for the British Open, Here’s Some Golf Viagra

So one thing I’m not going to do as the resident Nosebleed golf guy (not talkin’ Dustin Johnson here, folks) is regurgitate golf tournament results to you. By the time you’re reading what I have to say, the phone notifications have already come in, your fantasy golf picks have already lost you a lot of money, and you’re already thinking about what a shitty Monday you have coming.

What I am going to do is provide perspective about the upcoming golf events, and as we follow up Brandon Stone’s win at the Scottish Open with Michael Kim’s outrageous runaway first win at the John Deere Classic, we can really starting looking to Carnoustie.

I for one love the British Open. In fact, I love it more than the US Open. Call me un-American if you wish, but to me, there’s nothing better than coming into someone else’s tournament and snatching up the Claret jug. In fact, if I ever win the Claret jug, I’m gonna rent a bald eagle, just to milk it and drink Nesquik out of the jug. Nothing more American than that.

Any tournament that has both Bobby Jones and John Daly’s name attached to it as winners is naturally going to be a favorite in my book. And that where I segue into letting you know that if you haven’t seen it, Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius is an absolute necessity going into this week. I won’t go into too much detail, but I do want to hit a few key notes about this impressive motherfucker.

As the founder of Augusta, Bobby Jones is the only person to win the Grand Slam. Take that shit to the bank. Back in his day, the four majors were the US Open, the British Open, the US Amateur, and the British Amateur. Since then, obviously the majors have changed and haters will say that Jack won 18 and Tiger Slam and fucking blah. Bobby Jones is the greatest of all time and his impact on the game helped revive the importance of the British Open.

On top of all of this, he was an amateur his entire golf career. He had an engineering degree from Georgia Tech, a degree in literature from Harvard, and a JD from Emory University. So while golfers today keep a staff of trainers, coaches, masseuses, and pilots on their retainer, Bobby Jones had to suck shit in the trenches, worrying about time sheets and shitty bosses. Okay, that last part is a lie; he just became a partner at his dad’s law firm.

Going into the British Open week, it may seem like a stretch to wake up at 3AM to watch coverage, but with the nastiness that is Carnoustie golf, it’s gonna be a great week. So fire yourself the fuck up and check out Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius.