Hang on to your Kit-Kat wrappers - the Nestle agents could be coming to give you money!

The boffins at Nestle have been using all of their scientific know-how to come up with what seems like a modern day version of Willy Wonka’s golden ticket. They’ve used state-of-the-art GPS technology for their ‘We Will Find You’ Kit-Kat, Aero and Yorkie bar campaign.

How does it work? The wrappers of four special bars will contain GPS devices which will give off a signal when they’re opened. Nestle agents will pick up the signal and track the location of the wrapper before finding it and presenting the owner with £10,000 within 24 hours. Wow.

Pretty exciting eh? Because everyone who eats a chocolate bar keeps the empty wrapper with them once they’re finished don’t they? As opposed to chucking them in a bin in a park or on a train or in a hedge. Yes, we’re certain that Nestle should have no problems finding the owners of the magic GPS-enabled cash cow bars and unburdening themselves of £40,000.

Mind you, that isn’t going to stop us from buying ALL the chocolate bars, just like Veruca Salt’s dad…

15 comments

chewbacca

Good old BW, not thinking things through as usual...
Do you really believe the wrappers/bars will be indistinguishable from the normal ones?
Nope, they'll obviously need some sort of power source etc. Like duh...

@Willy Wanker
The bars will be indistinguishable from the outside in terms of weight etc.
Are people on here really that stupid?
Oh, and hi badger! Hope you get off'd in the forthcoming cull. You cretin.

@Chewbacca
1st post - Do you really believe the wrappers/bars will be indistinguishable from the normal ones?
2nd post - The bars will be indistinguishable from the outside in terms of weight etc.
Err, thanks for clearing that up, it's so obvious now

Err he clearly meant that once opened you'll know it's a winning wrapper and therefore keep hold of it like you would any winning ticket.
Is their a penalty for not finding me in 24hrs? Like double the money? I'd wrap myself in tin foil and go underground. Then pop up outside the Nestle office screaming THINK YOU COULD FIND ME?!
Fucking government spies.

I have more chance of a happy ending massage from Rebecca in accounts that some poor schmuck getting a chocolate bar with a homing beacon in it.
It's just a rouse to get already fat people eating more shitty quality chocolate. Chub up fatties and hopefully you'll win......

So you're most of the way up your epic expedition into the arctic. Rations are tight, but you're OK, you know you've got enough food to get you where you need to be. You wait until you literally can't walk another step before you need to eat, and reach into your bag for your trusty last kit kat. Peeling open the wrapper, you find the cunts have gone and replaced your chocolatey goodness with a fucking GPS receiver?
Frankly, I'd be pissed.

Nestle are from Switzerland. I wouldn't trust these "people" to put anything into a chocolate bar without knowing they're going to make a shed load of cash from it. Don't forget, it's not the British Rowntree's Kit Kat any longer, it's from the land of ex-Nazi bank accounts. I realise this may come across as slightly xenophobic but any company that repeats a 50 year old experiment of dropping their disgustingly bitter coffee into rabbit's eyes to achieve the same results(!) needs a good kicking. Followed by a knee-capping. Then their fingernails pulled. Then a hair pulled from their inner thigh. Damn. With this statement, I'm now eligible to work for Nestle.