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Friday, August 26, 2016

We Passed!

On April 30th, I chose my agency. I went to an informational meeting and walked out knowing this was the one.

On May 16th, I had my educational meeting and signed up for the home study. A few days later I received the application and began working toward an approved home study.

Today, August 26th, I completed the last step in this process - the home visit.

It took four long months to get here. For the past four months, I've had a constant to-do list running through my head. What needs to be done, who's doing it, when it's getting done, how it's getting done, how much it will cost, what questions are left on the application, do i have all of the paperwork, did i make all of the appointments... It was a very long and very stressful list.

Four months.

In the grand scheme of things, four months is nothing. I can do anything for four months. Four months in a lifetime is nothing. Four months of work to bring my baby home is nothing. But it's still been a very long and very stressful four months.

The second the wonderful people from the agency left, I shut the door, leaned up against it and the tears started flowing. I actually thought to myself Ok, this is just lame and cheesy. Cut it out!

But I couldn't stop the tears and once I gave in, I didn't want to. All of those months of worrying and stressing were over. I made it. I'm approved, my house is approved - even Charlie is approved. The complete joy in that moment was bigger than I could contain.

Not to mention the sweet relief of being done! No more to-do lists. I still can't fully grasp it. I've had to stop myself several times today from running through the list in my head.

After lunch, I went to bed. I needed a nap badly. I needed to be able to sleep without worrying about what is still left to do. And now it's a to-do list of wants, not needs. Now it's nesting, not necessity.

So, what's next?

Well, now I work on creating a profile and I need to finish it in the next 2 weeks. This profile will be shown to expectant moms and it is how they choose me. No pressure, right?

I know that God has already chosen this child. He knows them by name. I will pray over every sentence and photo that goes into this profile, but I know that no matter what is in it - God will connect me with the right woman and the right baby.

Once my profile is complete, I will join the agency's network. That is when expectant moms will be able to see my profile.

Then I wait.

The wait could be very short, but there's a possibility it could take years. So I'm coming up with a plan. Things to do. Books to read. Places to go. The wait will be hard, but it will be good.

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Friends - your love and support means everything to me. I know I keep saying it, but it's very much true. God has used you to encourage me and confirm this path. To see the amount of people that already love and pray for this child has been the most beautiful glimpse of God's love. I can't begin to express how much that love means to me and how grateful I am for it. Thank you!