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Collectively, there has been a rising up of those who have felt victimized and repressed, especially by the feminine (an aspect that is in all of us – both women and men). This has also been occurring on the individual level within our own psyches as well. It is as if the parts of ourselves that we have undervalued have absolutely had it with being dismissed or ignored! It has also sparked off fear, as our inner and outer interactions are being asked to evolve. This is kicking up a lot of anger which is spilling out in our relationships. I have worked with many women lately who have been struggling with relationship challenges, often between the women in their family. Sadly, it has frequently lead to a complete breakdown in communication, causing a fracturing in the family.

Hearing about these conflicts, I have been pondering the question about what true feminine power looks like. It occurs to me that these dynamics are another example of how feminine power has been masquerading as a man. Feminine power is about wisdom, nurturing, cohesiveness, harmony and empowering the whole. It is about trusting the natural unfoldment of life, working with its rhythms, not trying to dictate them. The more masculine approach is individually focused and goal oriented. It is about action and doing, not being. This is not the true nature of the feminine or yin. Yet, isn’t that what is happening in these dynamics? Instead of the using of wisdom to bring people together so that all feel empowered and nurtured, it is as if we are suddenly so afraid of being left out in the cold that we are shoving our sisters out first.

When I asked for guidance about this, I was given a very powerful message. The message was that we all, men and women, need to start thinking of ourselves as part of one organism. While we don’t always realize it, we are connected energetically and telepathically to all those we know. They also said that anyone who shows up in your life, in your movie, is part of your whole, even the ones that you think you don’t want there or who don’t seem to want you! It is not to say that we have to stay involved with people who are abusive to us, but it does mean that those people are part of the whole and there to teach us something that is important to the functioning of the whole. For example, our body is one organism, but it has many individual parts. If the left leg decided the liver was disgusting because of its function to remove toxins from the body and tried to get rid of it, the body would die. We are made up of many parts and all parts are needed and none are truly more valuable than others. The organism thrives when each part is playing the role it was meant to play in the way it was meant to play it. When this becomes out of balance, the whole being suffers.

So what do we do with this information? I was guided to start asking myself in all situations, how will this impact the harmony of the whole that I am a part of and how will it impact my relationship to the larger whole which is Nature which we are dependent on? It is not a question of kicking people out of our movie, but instead asking ourselves, what is the best response from me that will feed the harmony of the whole in regards to this person? Is the conflict that is being created causing growth? Is it bringing to light places where we are too controlling of others, instead of trusting in the flow of life and the perfect timing of nature – what true feminine power is all about? Are we too focused on what others are doing while ignoring our own needs and interests? Are we overlooking the need for each individual to access their own wisdom, so that they can feel empowered? Are we welcoming and inviting to all or are we trying to exclude and control? What is going on for the other person from a spiritual perspective?

Going back to the metaphor of the body, imagine what would happen if the stomach was obsessed with how the lungs were breathing. Imagine it being so busy prodding the lungs to breathe when it thought it should, that it was unable to do its own job of digesting food! What a disaster that would be. Feminine wisdom (something we all possess – both men and women) knows that it is not necessary to control things. Nature knows what it is doing – just as our bodies do. If you look at most of the challenges we are having in our environment right now, they have come from getting out of balance with the needs of the whole and trying to control processes that we didn’t really understand. Could this also be said about the interactions with our loved ones? Perhaps each of us is doing exactly what we need to do with our lives, with the people we are meant to be doing to with, for our optimal spiritual growth and development. What if there is truly a bigger story here and we don’t need to try to control that story, but can instead trust that everything is unfolding in perfect, Divine order for the highest good of all?

Shifting from the thinking of trying to control the parts, we would instead focusing on feeding the harmony of the whole. We would work with the whole of our bodies, the whole of our families, the whole of our communities, the whole of our world. We would nurture, support, encourage, and allow each system to move into its perfect rhythm without trying to force it. We could relax, let go, and enjoy the absolutely perfection of each moment, even the moments that challenge us.

When I asked for guidance on how to work toward this more harmonious approach, the following steps were suggested:

When someone challenges you…

1. Say thank you in your heart. “Thank you for bringing to my awareness that which is no longer in resonance for me. Thank you for helping me to see something I believe that is not good for me that has created this challenge. Thank you, for at the soul level, I know you are my friend.”

2. Ask yourself how you can feed the harmony of the whole in this situation? If the person who is challenging you seems controlling, ask yourself, is there somewhere in my life where I need to trust more and let go of control? If the person is unkind, ask yourself is there somewhere in my life that I am being unkind or judgmental of myself or others? Let the person be a mirror that helps you more deeply understand yourself.

3. Send love and peace to the person who challenges you. We want the whole organism to thrive because it is the only way that each part will thrive. Pray for the person. Pray that they find the wisdom they need. Pray that they feel loved and safe. Pray that you can allow them to find their way, as you work to find your own. Just as you may feel unhappy when your head hurts, the best way to get the head to feel better is to send love its way. To do things that nurture yourself and to be kind to yourself. The same is true within our dynamics with others.

4. Be patient. Nature has its own timing. Things may not shift as quickly as you like, but things are changing. Let it unfold. Breathe, focus on what is going well in your life, and love. Trust. The Creator has it all under control, so you can relax and trust that in the end all is working for your good.

February is the month of Valentine’s Day (and also the month when everyone in the colder climates have been cooped up together in the house). For this reason, relationships and partnerships with others seems like a good focus. One of the tools I’ve been using a lot in my work is an astrological concept of the North Node (soul path), particularly as it is shared about in Jan Spiller’s book, Astrology for the Soul. I’ve shared about this before, but this month I wanted to share how it can be a wonderful tool for helping you balance and empower your relationships with others. That’s why it is the featured book this month and also will be used in the February Empowerment Circle reading. You can also have a private session ($10 off this month too) where we will look at the North Node for both you and the other person and see how you can best empower and support each other based on the spiritual lessons you are each trying to learn in this lifetime. I’ve done this with some couples and it is fascinating to see how the interactions with those we are close to can challenge us to move into our highest potential.

Love to you all!

Nancy

Featured Book

Astrology for the Soul by Jan Spiller:A great book to help you understand the messages your physical body is sending you! It is available in my Amazon store here: Astrology for the Soul

February Guidance/Inspiration

From Archangel Oracle Cards (Doreen Virtue, Ph.D):

“Peace: Archangel Chamuel: Peace comes from remembering that only love is real. Additional Message: Look past the surface of this situation and see the underlying truth: that everyone involved is a child of God and filled with love. By focusing upon this truth, you elicit loving behavior and solutions. Even though appearances seem otherwise, trust that a higher wisdom is in charge. Love is the only power that exists, and its light shines away any seeming darkness. Hold the intention to look for examples of light within yourself and others, and you’ll have more light in your mind, heart, thoughts and life. This knowledge is the foundation of peace.”

Events This Month

2/9/2014: Nancy’s Soul Friends Community Empowerment Call – Explore Spontaneity and Joyous Flow as we connect with our Spiritual Support Team of Angels and Spirit Guides (7-8 PM EST). See below for registration details.

2/19/2014: Registration deadline for February Empowerment Circle (Relationships). See below for details.

3/2/2014: Sanctuary Winter Retreat – I’ll be one of the teachers for this event. Full details will be coming out soon, but wanted to give you a heads up so you can save the date! J

Opportunities to Connect

February Empowerment Circle – Relationships : Registration deadline is Wednesday 2/19/2014. Description: Our interactions with others are what bring joy to our life, but they are also often the source of the challenges that generate our spiritual growth. This week’s Empowerment Circle on relationships will provide intuitive insight to help you understand what is going on in a particular relationship from a spiritual point of view. The intention will be to give you some inside information about what is causing the challenge at the emotional, energetic or psychological level along with guidance to shift the situation to what you’d like to manifest. I’ll be using Astrology by the Soul by Jan Spiller to help provide additional understanding (for those who have the full birth date available of the person they are inquiring about). The Empowerment Circle recording includes: Brief Prayer and Group Intuitive Message on Relationships, Individual Intuitive Messages and Interpretation, and an Intention setting meditation to manifest what you wish to experience. Cost is $12/Soul Friend Community Members; $15/Non-Members. You can learn more and register at this link: Empowerment Circles

2/9/2014 (7PM EST): Nancy’s Soul Friends Community Empowerment Call – Spontaneity and Going with the Flow: I’m feeling a need for some spontaneity, so this call will be a guided meditation where we will practice spontaneity and going with the flow by opening to whatever the Divine decides to bring through! For the second half of the call, those present will have a chance to ask questions and I will do oracle card readings for those who request it (as many as time allows). The first half of the call will be recorded and the link shared after the event. This call is free for Nancy’s Soul Friends Community Members. Non-Members – $15 (Register and Learn More here: Empowerment Calls

New Client Options/February Special Offer

Interested in working with Nancy? I offer a $25/25 minute empowerment reading or a $10 Empowerment Circle reading for new clients. Learn more about what I do and how to sign up here: How to Get Started

February Special Offer: Free Choice Empowerment Reading – $10 off ($35/30 minute reading for community members; $50/30 minute reading for non-members). As I mentioned, I’m feeling a need for spontaneity this month, so the type of reading is up to you! You can choose from an Emotion Code Reading, North Node Reading, I Ching reading or we can just see what guidance brings through to use as the tool based on what you need. Special offer ends 2/28/2014. Email me to participate – Nancy@EmpoweringLightworkers.com

Ways to Keep Informed

Free Email Subscriptions

Nancy Nicholas (Crossroads Coaching) Email Subscription: Subscribe to receive by email– Guided meditations, upcoming events and articles to empower you to nurture yourself, grow your gifts, and live your life purpose. Sign up for your free email subscription by entering your email in the “Follow This Blog” option on the upper left side of the page (you will have an option to receive updates daily or weekly). Subscribe: www.EmpoweringLightworkers.com

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Do you find some of your relationships to be challenging? If you do, you aren’t alone. Personally, I find relationships to be a primary source of learning for me (and from the sessions I’ve been doing lately, I’d say this is true for a lot of people). I realize that the purpose of my relationships with others is to help me to understand my relationship with myself, which ultimately leads me to my relationship with God. Apparently, the process isn’t so straight forward though while you are in it!

I have a few tips that I have picked up along the way that you might find helpful. The primary one I am sharing today is a wonderful book that has been out for a while called The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This particular book is for those who are married, but the concepts have universal appeal (and Chapman has written many other books with different relationship focuses). When my massage therapist mentioned the concept of the book, I was intrigued. Was it possible that some of the struggle in feeling loved and supported came from a language breakdown? After reading the book, I am convinced that is exactly the truth.

Chapman shares five languages that he believes we use to communicate and receive love. They are:

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time

Receiving Gifts

Physical Touch

Acts of Service

He explains that we all have a primary language we use to communicate love and receive it. A fascinating concept, especially when you discover that your primary means of expressing love are different from those you are in relationships with! Chapman offers a self-test in the book (and also on his website – see below for the link) to help you determine what your primary love language is. While the book is geared to married couples as I mentioned above, I feel the concept is something we all need to know. Why? Because we are all in relationships with other people. Human beings are wired to be social creatures (even though we all have times when we wish that wasn’t so!). We are also in a relationship with ourselves and one with God. I believe understanding the last two relationships is of primary importance as we evolve (and we get to that understanding through the other relationships in our lives). After all, doesn’t it seem important that we understand the language that most speaks to us when it comes to love? Isn’t that something important to know about our spouses, children, parents, friends, and colleagues? I think it is.

The other beautiful thing that came from reading this book was forgiveness. Reading this book makes it clear that some of the painful interactions we have with our loved ones are really not intended as they are received. When you realize this, you can pay attention to how you give love and be sure you are expressing it in a language that is understood. You can also teach your loved ones the language that most speaks to you.

I am including a link to the website and the book below. As I mentioned, he has also written books on the 5 Love languages for singles, children, teenagers, and a special men’s edition. Regardless of which book is read, I really believe getting a better understanding of how love is communicated will be enormously beneficial in our quest to live a more heart-centered, love-filled life.

I just posted an article to the Sanctuary at the Crossroads’ website with some tips for invoking your inner wise one, the Sage. If you are like me and have some trouble with the Sage’s qualities of non-attachment and skepticism, you may find the article helpful! You can check it out here: SAGE

Here’s a quote from Louise Hay that feels very fitting with this topic as getting clear, objective Divine guidance is a good way to incorporate the wisdom of your Inner Sage!

“When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden…All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.” Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Years ago, I read a book called The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. At the time, I remember being deeply affected by what it had to say. Just recently, a few things from this book came back to me. It was about our relationships with others and how we get energy. The concept was that human beings tend to use four different approaches to get energy from others. The approaches are to withdraw, to evoke sympathy, to evoke guilt, or anger.

The energy that we seek from others is the energy that gives us life. We do need it. The question is why do we need to take it from each other? Redfield suggested in the book that we should be getting this from a clear, pure source…from Spirit itself…instead of trying to share the same little, often polluted pool, from our relationships.

Clearly, searching for this energy from others using the four methods listed above can bring temporary relief, though not a good solution overall…but lately, I’m finding that even that has lessened for many. Perhaps the pool of energy we all share is getting used up…or has lost so much of its purity that it has little value.

So the question is how do we get energy from this pure source, so that we feel loved, supported, nurtured, and empowered? How do we feel whole and filled from within in a world filled with struggle and challenge?

I’ve “heard” the answer to this so many times. It’s actually very, very simple; yet for those of us who have been hurt (and who hasn’t been?) so very, very difficult.

The answer is to love. To love when someone hurts us. To love when we are angry or scared or frustrated. To love when we are deeply sad. To love when it seems so impossible to love or that the person seems so undeserving of our love. To love even when we feel that loving only brings pain.

I know from my own experience that to do this is the Way to peace and well-being…it is the Way to empowerment. And yet; the very practical part of me still wants to know, how exactly does one do this, especially when one’s whole system wants to close up, shut down, run away, or lash out?

Perhaps the answer lies in where we direct our love. If it is too painful to direct our love to the person who has hurt us, can we instead direct it to ourselves? Can we direct it to God? As we focus our energy on loving, can this open our heart with compassion to the other as well? As we feel that well-spring of love pour forth, filling all the deep places that have been long in the dark, are we able to see the other as no different from us? Just as we struggle with our own fears aren’t they too struggling? The fear of lack…of loneliness…of being misunderstood…doesn’t it affect each and every one of us? And what is it that we are seeking? Is the love and abundance truly held by the other? Or merely something we see coming THROUGH them from a higher, purer source?

So, today, I invite you to join me on a little experiment. The next time you feel hurt or frustrated or angry at someone else try taking the following steps:

1. Acknowledge your feelings and comfort the part of you that has been wounded.

2. Repeat, “I love, I love, I love, I love” continuously until you feel your heart start to open and relax.

3. Forgive. Say, “I forgive everyone who has offended or hurt me in anyway, and I forgive myself.” Or put in the name specifically of the person who has hurt you.

4. Focus on Spirit in whatever form you most identify with (a sunrise, in a child, the Angels, Jesus, God, and Buddha) and express your deep love out loud. “I love you God. I love you God. I love you God.”

5. Call forth you’re highest Divine self. Feel the male and female aspects of you, holding you, nurturing you and loving you. Know that you are beautiful in all ways and deeply loved.

6. From this place of wholeness, look to the one who has hurt you. Pray for them to find peace, healing, and light. Know that through this act, you release the hold their actions or words have over you.

7. Honor yourself and your needs. Feel no obligation to extend beyond what you are able to give. Love within, and stay inside your much needed boundaries without.

8. Be kind to yourself.

And in closing, a final quote from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet about marriage (though I feel it is fitting for all relationships),

“Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

Nancy Nicholas is an Intuitive Life Coach offering Empowerment Readings, Empowerment Clubs, Sensitive Person Mentoring, and a Soul Friends Community. For a free Empowerment Packet and to learn more about Nancy’s work, visit her website: http://www.EmpoweringLightworkers.com.