Divorce Means Life or Death

Fat, skinny, tall, short, if you like to try a buffet, be careful the region of your mate. You might find a girl who’s ready to swing or take you for everything.

Okay, my loyal fans, this month I’m going to get a little more controversial. We’re going to talk about love, marriage and betrayal!

This is a topic I’ve been perversely pursuing for several years in China. It began with a discussion with some Chinese friends in 2014, both of whom had husbands that had cheated on them. What was interesting to me were their reactions.

The first doll, from Harbin, expressed that she was heartbroken, but there was nothing she could do. The other, a fiery woman from Sichuan, got angry with the passive attitude.

Divorce is almost inevitable, but often accompanied by acts of revenge and/or violence. I talked with one woman who stabbed her husband in the arm multiple times with a knitting needle when she found out about his infidelity.

“When I found out that my husband was cheating on me, I got pictures of him with the other woman, sent copies to his and her family. Then, I divorced him and took everything he had!” she told us, fangs showing.

The curious thing about the conversation was how each of them reveled their reactions.

They explained that typical women from their parts of China would be the same. I wanted to see if this was true and started asking others about it.

After several years of decidedly non-comprehensive and personal research, here are the four “types” of responses to cheating that I’ve found coming from women in different parts of China.

North China
Woman from here are most likely to feel heartbroken and betrayed, but nevertheless stay in the marriage. They will cite reasons such as a responsibility to their children, or a fear of negative reaction from friends and family if they get divorced.

Also, they are more likely to blame themselves, imagining that they must have done something wrong or failed in some way.

East China
This goes particularly for Shanghai and its surrounding areas. Most from here will simply demand a divorce. Interestingly, though, a decent proportion of women from here will feel that it’s okay for their husband to have an affair, as long as they can, too.

Divorces here tend to be the least messy, fairly straightforward and rational. They are the most likely to remain friends after ending things.

West China
Covering mostly Sichuan and Hunan, the legendary “spicy” flavor of their women will come out blazing if they discover that their husband playing games. Divorce is almost inevitable, but often accompanied by acts of revenge and/or violence.

I talked with one woman who stabbed her husband in the arm multiple times with a knitting needle when she found out about his infidelity.

South China
Focusing on Guangdong and Guangxi, ladies from here hold the most fascination for me. If their husband is wealthy, then having a second “wife” (or even more) may actually be considered acceptable, and possibly desirable.

I talked with quite a few Guangdong women who explained that so long as their husband fulfills his responsibility of providing adequately for them and their children, then what he does in his free time is his own business.

Some of them even bragged about their husband’s multiple lovers, as an indication of his wealth and power.

Of course, these are all just cute generalizations and no woman, whether from a region in China, Asia or the world is the same.

For the stupid men out there reading this and thinking, “Hmm, maybe I should move to Shanghai,” you might want to take care in your selection of women. Particularly, if you don’t know how to treat a woman right!