this is going to sound pathetic. but if you havent even felt anything remotely close to this feeling, dont judge me. about 5 years ago i fell in love for the first time with a friend... and the worst pain in the world was not being able to have her. i was once the happiest person in the world, and after going through this [along with alot of other bullshit]...i was in the most pain in the world. i cant put into words my sorrow. 2 years of this hell past...and eventually my mind was shutting down. i started not to care about her...because it was too much pain. since my deepest desires were now gone, my emotions were starting to go away too. i was not happy at all but i didnt realize it. it was a situation that where i lost the pain, i lost all happiness too....so i was basically a zombie. this is how a person turns "wierd"...their emotions shut off due to trauma. ive been living in this zombie, unhappy like state for 3 years...and recently ive realized all these troubles and how i should be happy NOW...instead of waiting for some miracle to happen in the future. and suddenly ive started having all these emotions back... and sure enough, they are mostly about her. ive realized that i still love her, and ive realized that I can never...NEVER be happy without her. [the reason i shut off in the first place was when i started to believe i can be happy without her. i let go of my truest and deepest feelings...] I honestly believe it was the most powerful, deepest feeling any person in all of history has ever had [at least equal to]... Im tired of suffering. its either i feel the pain of not having her again...or I go on for the rest of my life emotionless. Im stuck, if i could go back ... i never would have met her. she ruined my life.

This either goes into ladies delight or man enough. But I haven't decided which yet. So I'm keeping it here, lol.

However, I can't relate to this, but am sorry you are feeling this way. I think love is both good posion and bad posion, if that makes any sense what so ever. Sometimes we can get so lost in it that we lose all sense of who we are. But I think the only way you can come to terms with this, is either get her back in your life some how and make it work with her. Or, forget her and move forward with your life knowing that you need to live it to the fulliest and should never let someone come between you and happiness....corny I know. But sometimes we need to just forget things and keep trecking! )

But uhhhh maybe a suggestion for you, and I know it's gonna be hard to do because I've had to do it.....

The fact that she, and only she can make you happy, is definitely a problem. You've made her your world, it seems. Find out who your are as a person and try to find some self love fam. I have a high power and faith in my life....and it's the biggest part of my life....and I'm not sure if you do to, so we might be comin from different places.

I have to turn it over to my God and ask for peace and acceptance. My God gives me what I need, not what I want...and I have to remember that.

You may possibly want to see a therapist to deal with this. Emotions are a very touchy subject, and I'm very fortunate I have people to confide in, unlike many.

Another thing, the last thing I''d do is be bringing these feelings to this website, as you most likely will not find any type of peace surrounding this matter. Check a therapist out and start talking to someone who can help you deal with this man.

Hope you feel better man, I been there man....it aint fun, that's for damn sure.

Except it was x2 as it was for two women......and we had relationships, not just friends.

I strongly believe in God, but I still dont have what I need to be happy.

And I was forced to see a therapist for over an year, didnt help one fuckin bit.

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Probably because you were forced. I've seen people ever since elementary school when I started becoming physically violent. No one ever helped because I resisted their help and what they had to suggest.

This past year I had a special therapist for about 7 months 4 days a week and that man helped me so much.......words can't explain.

I had threee things, willingness, open mind, and honesty. It helps to have those three things when seeing a therapist.

i feel you..i've been deeply in love wit a girl before and she didnt have the same feelings back and it sucked..i did everything i could to make her like me but it didnt work out..it did suck but eventually i got over it..

have you ever let her know how you feel bad about her ?

my advice is just to meet new girls man..theres other fish in the sea..maybe you'll find another girl and fall in love and you'll forget about that girl..even if ya dont have feelings for em, getting some ass never hurt nobody lol..keep ya head up bro..theres a good chance you might end up wit this girl your in love wit one day..

^thanks man...although i doubt the "good chance" part. ive met other girls since then, and its really not the same. noone could ever affect me the way she has. not even close.

yeah, i remember when i decided "i got over her" before i started not caring...i wrote a letter to her explaining everything and how i felt and shit as my last act of desperation. she really didnt care.

I went thru it... I loved someone crazy... but of course she loved me back...

how can u love someone who doesnt love you? you're obessed... get over it...stop being a wierdo...

when me and my girl broke up after 3 years. i was in that zombie state you were talkin about but it lasted 2 months.... not 3 years.... you got mental problems.... stop beatin your dick...

and that girl that i loved was the same one you disrespected in my thread.....you see if she loves you, she comes back....just like mine did....

so go out, live life, meet people, meet girls, become a man...get money...stop beatin your dick.... and maybe after all of that is accomplised.... you can either try to get her back or go find you someone else...

go fuck yourself faggot... i dont go around ANYONES threads disrespecting them over something as important is this. It shows how much of a fucking loser you are going onto the internet and starting shit... dipping to low, shallow levels because you're angry in real life, and need release. That thing in your thread, was just a stupid joke. Take it as a compliment, it means she looks good...dipshit.

So being in love for a long time is a mental problem? Are you fucking kidding me?

Obviously you dont know a damn thing about what your talking about if your saying "just get over it". Oh, and you didnt "go through it"...your girl loved you back. You have no fucking clue...like I said if you havent been through something like this, dont fucking judge me.

I've fucked plenty of girls since then...don't mean a damn thing to me.

If it was anyone else, they would have killed themselves by now...because this situation is just A FRACTION of the bullshit I have gone through in my life. But I ain't even thought about slitting a damn wrist like millions of other emo faggots who cry over losing their hamster. Instead I'm living life as you described.

And no I didnt "have" her but thats not the requirement for caring about someone. We were mad close, childhood friends.

How did I know some shallow fag was gona come in here and try to crack on me for talking about a problem in my life.

go fuck yourself faggot... i dont go around ANYONES threads disrespecting them over something as important is this. It shows how much of a fucking loser you are going onto the internet and starting shit... dipping to low, shallow levels because you're angry in real life, and need release. That thing in your thread, was just a stupid joke. Take it as a compliment, it means she looks good...dipshit.

So being in love for a long time is a mental problem? Are you fucking kidding me?

Obviously you dont know a damn thing about what your talking about if your saying "just get over it". Oh, and you didnt "go through it"...your girl loved you back. You have no fucking clue...like I said if you havent been through something like this, dont fucking judge me.

I've fucked plenty of girls since then...don't mean a damn thing to me.

If it was anyone else, they would have killed themselves by now...because this situation is just A FRACTION of the bullshit I have gone through in my life. But I ain't even thought about slitting a damn wrist like millions of other emo faggots who cry over losing their hamster. Instead I'm living life as you described.

And no I didnt "have" her but thats not the requirement for caring about someone. We were mad close, childhood friends.

How did I know some shallow fag was gona come in here and try to crack on me for talking about a problem in my life.

I thought you were cool man, but...wow.

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relax guy, i didnt really mean kill yourself... i was just gettin you back for fuckin with me... i didnt think you would flip over something said on the 'net'

look .... i stand by my original statement that....you shouldnt love someone who doesnt give a shit about you feel....

it just sounds like you are torturing yourself over nothing....

people die, and evently you get over it...

she was a childhood friend, that you loved.... ok... she doesnt love you like you love her and she grew up and she changed....

what else should i say besides 'get over it'.....i know it isnt easy and i dont mean it like that but thats what you need to do by the sounds of it cause you are just hurting yourself....

cause reading your post just makes it sound like you are obessed with some girl for no real reason besides having a childhood friendship with her....

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what you need to realize is I have no control over how I feel...at all. I know its not good to love someone who doesnt give a shit... and I'm not "hurting myself" or "torturing myself"...and its certainly not "over nothing". If it were up to me, I would let all this shit go by snapping my fingers, or not even have met her at all in the first place. But I cant, this is how I feel...and I have NO option except to deal with the frustration and fucked up shit that I've been feeling.

I'm not going to explain why I am or was so hurt, or why I was obsessed with her in the first place. That's not the point of the thread. But there are good reasons for both.

I doubt youve been through more than me, for two reasons...the first is that most people I know that would have gone through half of what Ive had to face would be dead by now...and second, because you are with the girl you love...and that would be enough for me to forget about everything else..no matter how bad it is. I dont let the bad shit in life define me, Ive stayed strong about everything in life...except this... I just cant help this.