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Thursday, February 18, 2016

February Glory

Some blog posts come easier than others.

But in case you didn't notice, it is dark February and, well, sometimes life comes easier than in the middle of winter, too. And make no mistake, I haven't yet posted my "I hate winter" post that typically comes this time of winter.

Well, I aim to fix that, so here goes.

I hate the salt stains that form on my sneakers from walking to work. I would like salt stains on my bathing suit from the ocean while in Tahiti. Yes.

I strongly dislike that there are roughly fifty minutes of daylight after I get off of work. Granted that is increasing by a minute or two a day, but I would prefer four and a half hours of sunlight, please. Is that so much to ask?

I do not like that most of the time my white van looks like it just survived the fallout from a volcanic blast. Yes, my van is white. It says so in the owners manual.

I loathe that I must make a decision each day on whether to wear my heavy winter coat or my slightly less heavy winter coat, depending on the forecast. I would like to not wear a coat. Again, is that too much to ask?

I prefer not to think about the fact that my furnace sounds a bit like a 747 taking off and landing when it starts and shuts down. Takeoffs happen about every 8 minutes and landings come about three minutes after. Life at the airport is noisy.

I hate that the last thing I do before I leave every building is check my coat pockets for my hat and gloves. As I mentioned, I would like to not wear a coat, let alone gloves and a hat.

I mourn unfrozen lakes every time I see my kayak sitting on its racks in the garage. I am so far from launching that thing that it makes me sad.

I have a severe distaste for glaciated snowbanks, some of which may never melt and most of which are perilous to navigate. This time of year, I become adept at hurdling them, but I'm sure it's not a pretty picture.

I miss sitting on my porch with the windows open. As it is, right now, I only go on the porch to vacuum the salt that's been dragged in from the front steps.

I feel sorry for my dog whose paws take the beating from the salt laid down by zealous homeowners.

I am super annoyed by those snowfalls/snow flurries that leave an inch of snow on my driveway. Sometimes we get a 3 day system where that happens three times in 72 hours. Being a psychotic Midwesterner, I HAVE to shovel it. It'll wreck an otherwise perfect driveway/walk if I leave it to get trampled, after all.

I hate that during the cold snaps, I need to wear long underwear which, when accompanied with my seven pounds of winter fat, make my pants feel like they are tights. Man tights. Not a good look.

Now, to be fair, we've had a rel

Oh yeah, and I hate this too.

atively mild winter. Almost ridiculously so. December was kind of a joke, and we've really only had one significant snowfall and two good(?) cold snaps. So I really have nothing to complain about. But it's what we like to do most in winter, so I did. And never mind that winter seems to be on its 260th day.

All I know is that tomorrow we gain one more minute of glorious sunlight. (Which will no doubt be shrouded in a think blanket of grey blech.)

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About Me

Jim Landwehr has two poetry collections, Reciting from Memory, by Underground Voices, and Written Life by eLectio Publishing. His first book, Dirty Shirt: A Boundary Waters Memoir, was published by eLectio Publishing in 2014. Dirty Shirt is a humorous account of his travels to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area in northern Minnesota with friends, brothers and his children over the last 25 years.