January 14, 2009

Now, I'm writing this not to get all preachy and shit on you. You don't need to be told to never put your hands on an official again. I trust that you're a smart cat, and that you've learned your lesson.

What I am going to tell you is that the Leafs need you out there. Did you watch that game garbage last night? It was brutal. Seventeen shots? Fuck. Off. And Saturday night wasn't much better, 42 shots be damned.

There's zero offensive creation without you, Grabs. Let's be honest, there isn't much to begin with, but with you up in the press box things are about as quiet on the ice as inside Elliot Spitzer's bedroom. You know, since he got busted for palling around with that crazy expensive hooker.

You really should read the news, Mikhail. Or get Poni to translate it for you, or something.

Now don't get me wrong, I know the tank is on, but you and your teammates have proven that you're not about to solve that whole "goals against" problem anytime soon. So, if you're going to lose, I'd rather you at least score some goals in the process. You've just got to be in the lineup for that to happen. So no more suspensions, my friend.

And I know; Sergei Kostitsyn is a bitch. He'll get his. Don't worry about him. Like I said, lesson learned.

I'll be honest: deep down, I like that you're one crazy mother fucker. But I need you to harness that energy. I need you on the ice.

@ Kushnir: Karma = Grabovski. He will fuck him up, even in the streets, like he said. I love Grabbo.

@ The Reverend: Do you and Lloyd get into epic battles when it comes to the Leafs and Habs?

@ Showcase: Bro, best fucking profile picture, EVER.

@ Justin: It's one thing to lose, but we can't be complete bitches about it like we were last night. Four shots in the third period, are you kidding me? It really pisses me off that we're so pathetic on home ice. Show some pride, God dammit. Don't let others come into our building and spank us like naughty little whores. And it's fucking Nashville.

@ Bunsology: Suddenly, I like Tim Thomas.

@ No one in particular: I can't believe I wrote about harnessing energy, and didn't mention Kevin Nealon in Happy Gilmore. What the fuck? "Harness energy, block bad." Fuck, I love that movie.

Lloyd and I don't see eye to eye when it comes to the Leafs and Habs, though I'd rather be in his situation then my own. However, I'll make sure he's either called, text'd or yelled at during a Leafs, Habs game when the Leafs score no matter the score.

Disclaimer

This blog is in no way, shape, or form associated or affiliated with anyone or anything important. Well, except The Score. They're cool. The opinions, and foul language (sorry Mom), found on this blog are the sole property of the writer (me, EYEBLEAF). So please be a dear and don't sue me. Oh, and all the pictures are courtesy of their respective owners. Isn't that bloody obvious?