Category Archives: America

Is it sad that for the past week or so everyday when I wake up the first thing I think about is who is going to win the Super Bowl? Is it even worse that every day I change my mind on who I think is going to win? Honestly if it wasn’t for gambling I really wouldn’t care about this game. Sure watching the game is fun, but really all I want to do is win a quarter in my grid pool, get a bunch of stupid questionnaire questions correct and hope that I win money on my bets…….of course eating an obscene amount of food and drinking lots of beer also makes the day worth while. I’ve tried to read literally every single article written about this game in some sort of attempt to gain some knowledge on who will win and in turn have me win some money on it….Here’s some cool shit I found:

Well well well…..it has been quite a while since I have had the motivation to write anything in this space and I really don’t have any excuses except that I am lazy as a sloth. Just to bring you up to speed here are a few of the highlights/lowlights in my life since my last post on March 13th 2012.

For some reason the beer flowed extra strong on Friday, Glory Days was bumping over the bar speakers, and the brain trust inner circle of 90on95 decided to get back together (and no, the word brain should have no association with any of us). The whole thing reminded me of Bruce Springsteen singing about that guy who used to be able to throw that fastball by you. But, the next morning I woke up to this prediction by TimmyP, and god damn did he hit the nail on the head. I couldn’t help but think that this dog could still hunt. The wheels started spinning a little bit, and here we are, getting the band back together.

It’s been about a year since I’ve even thought about posting anything (I was riding a one-year high from predicting Eli’s second Super Bowl party) and I’ve felt pretty good about predicting within two points of the second happiest sports result of my life. Anyway, like Jordan wearing the 45 (mainly just because I suck at baseball), it’s time to dust-off the old keyboard and get back to talking about the funny, odd moments of sports.

We’re not on a mission backed by god to save the Catholic orphanage from foreclosure, but we can still manage to piss off and piss on everyone from the Good Ole Boys to the Illinois Nazi Party by bringing you all the sports, rumors, and humor from the Ben Franklin to the George Washington.

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After reading that the great Joseph Auger actually thinks that the shitty Notre Dame Fighting Irish have a chance tonight I figured I’d throw my two cents in. Fair warning I haven’t written more than 2 paragraphs in about a year so there’s a 97.2% chance this is real messy…Like this picture…

Tell me this doesn’t make you feel confident in Alabama

I’d love to see Notre Dame win this game. It would be a cute cinderella story, I fucking hate Alabama and most importantly I would love nothing more than to see Nick Saban really disappointed. I’ll never forget that Nick Saban absolutely raped my beloved Dolphins by attempting to be an NFL coach for two god awful seasons. Saban then decided to bolt for Bama where he turned them into an absolute powerhouse. Cool Nick, thanks.

As far as this game goes I think Alabama has an advantage in every aspect. Alabama has been here before and Notre Dame is relatively new to the whole “being good” thing. This is their first time being decent since 2006 when the great fat wonder known as Charlie Weis led them to a 10-3 record. Since that season they’ve gone….3-9…7-6…6-6…8-5…8-5. Really, really mediocre. Alabama meanwhile has gone 55-12 in the past 5 seasons. Sure Notre Dame went 12-0 this season but they beat at best 2 good teams, Stanford at home and an incredibly mediocre Oklahoma team. They also nearly lost to Pittsburgh and Purdue, teams which Alabama would probably beat by 30.

Despite all the hype about Notre Dame, Albama should win pretty easily. They have a better offense than Notre Dame has seen all year and have faced a much tougher schedule. Their only loss came to the great Johnny Football and their only other real close games came against a really good Georgia team and LSU both teams who would easily beat Notre Dame as well. Their only like opponent was Michigan who they both beat, Notre Dame 13-6 and Alabama 41-14. My only real fear of this game is that A. Manti Te’o is an absolute freak who could easily kill an Alabama player and that B. AJ McCarron cried after beating LSU.

Not the most confident face I’ve ever seen

While a lot of people are picking Notre Dame I just really don’t see it. I guess people like being trendy. Alabama has more experience and an absolute freak one-two punch at running back with Lacey and Yeldon, I think they will go crazy especially Yeldon who is an absolute machine. Notre Dame’s only real strength is their defense, but going against an offensive line like Alabama’s is going to be a challenge.

Well it is that time of year again. The snow is melting, the birds are chirping, Spring is in the air. The crack of the bat and the snap of the glove legitimately arouses me. I literally found myself watching a Mets/Nationals spring training game on TV the other night (I was also drinking). Baseball season means a lot to the scribes on this particular website and we are going to do our damnedest to give you the most accurate preview of the two main squads (Yanks & Phillies) we will be complaining about. We may even let Joe write something about the Marlins (doubtful). So without further ado, here is our Phillies Lineup Preview.

Wow. What a night for both the Phillies and the Yankees. Can’t really put into words how nervous both the collective fan bases were last night, but I had at least 2 and a half heart attacks I think. AJ Burnett? Props. Benny Fresh? You sly dog.

With the return of the NFL comes the return of the great Tim Parker. I feel a little motivated after having my 12th fantasy football draft last night, so fuck it I’ll write up some picks. I’d give you some in depth analysis but it’s week one so who the hell knows what is going to happen. All I know is that football is finally back, thank you baby Jesus.

Thank God These Two Idiots Figured It Out

So here are my picks for the first week of the 2011-12 season. If your a betting man I’d take them to Vegas, I mean I am college educated so you’d be retarded not to take them to the bank. All spreads are from footballlocks.com

New Orleans Saints vs. Green Bay Packers (-4)

A matchup of the past two Super Bowl winners starts off the new NFL season. The Saints are coming off a heartbreaking playoff loss to a terrible Seahawks team who ended the Saints repeat dreams with one of, if not the best runs in NFL history by the great Marshawn Lynch.

Marshawn Lynch....The Dream Killer

Then you have the Green Bay Packers. It seemed as if every single player was hurt at some juncture of the 2011 season yet they still managed to run through the NFC in the playoffs and then defeat the Steelers 31-25 in Super Bowl XLV (45 for those who don’t like those gay numerals). Now they welcome back Ryan Grant and the freak Jermichael Finley? Yikes. Their defense does take a hit losing Cullen Jenkins and Nick Barnett, but it shouldn’t be an issue for the defending champs to find replacements for them.

I’ll say expect a high flying game between two of the best offenses in the league…but once again it’s week one so there’s always the likelihood of the ugly “we’ve only been practicing for five weeks” 17-13 game is possible. I want some points though, I mean it is opening night air it out a bit boys. Packers: 36 – Saints: 28

Rest of the picks will be up this weekend. I can’t write that much in one day without my brain exploding.

-The NY Football Giants already depleted secondary lost yet another CB today. After losing impact player Terrell Thomas last night to a torn ACL, they lost CB Brian Witherspoon to a torn ACL as well. Somehow Papa Bear seems to think that this will not effect the Giants at all. He won’t give me any facts to support this argument (or words on this site for that matter (Shots Fired Shots Fired!)), but he is deliriously confident in his team right now.

The Daily Drive is a daily (duh) post of all the prominent things going on in the sports world we didn’t cover, and anything else we might want to share with you. Its cool Plaxico, we didn’t know who Mayor Bloomberg was either.

-Lets start things off with a bang this afternoon. Mark Sanchez apparently wanted to fight Rex Ryan after almost being benched during last season. I’m no PR genuis but this isnt exactly the approach I would have taken when being interviewed about the upcoming season. Especially since Rex is a Fan of UFC. His go to move? You guessed it, The Ankle lock…gives him a close up view of his favorite body part.

-Osi Umenyiora apparently is tired of faking an injury and will start practicing for the New York VaGiants. Giants are having an outstanding off-season by the way. Kevin Boss, Steve Smith, Shaun O’Hara and Rich Seubert are all gone along with their top draft pick Prince Amukamara who is out for a few months with a broken foot. When i asked our resident Giants Fan, Bruno, what he thought of the activity he left me with this gem “YEAH WELL WE HAVE THREE SUPERBOWLS!” Denial is an awful thing.

-Jeremy Maclin apparently isn’t dieing and will give an update on his overall health tomorrow at some point. One has to wonder though about all the lost weight and secrecy. Its OK Jeremy, Just tell them that the Nutri-System diet works great!

-Howard Eskin, 610 WIP sports radio afternoon host, has announced that he will be exploring some national offers and will not be doing his daily show anymore. Good Riddence Howard, you insufferable prick. I truly wish Charlie Manuel whooped your ass a few years ago.

You gotta love living in 2011. Forget about the Debt crisis, world famine, humanitarian issues, party politics, and everything else that just seemingly wants to depress the shit out of you, life is good. In my opinion there has never been a better time to be alive. Last night I was doing things I never thought I would be able too even five years ago. Simultaneously I was watching the Phillies in HD from Los Angeles, drinking a delicious micro brew from Nantucket, and listening to the Phish webcast from Lake Tahoe. Technology is pretty sweet. You wanna know whats even sweeter? Cliff Lee going yahtzee off Ted Lilly for his 2nd HR of the year. Bartledoo(who once used to blog here before he got to big and started focusing on his main gig at mysecretboston.com) and myself were sitting there just admiring the practice cuts that Cliff was taking.