It's certainly not rocket science. It's "Chuck logic". And I'm sharing it with you. There's no overall theme. It may even be a bit chaotic, but I think it might be entertaining. If it fails to tickle your fancy, enlighten your mind, graze your loin, excite your sense of adventure, or allow you to breathe a simple sigh of relief, then I promise I'll resign the noble way and take a page from our Japanese brethren. My goal is to broadcast my mind and have you like it.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

It's a joke, right? Please tell me that it's a joke.

I heard the rumors recently about Joaquin Phoenix ending his acting career, and I thought "Hmm...that's odd." Then I heard that Joaquin Phoenix is quitting acting to persue a rap career, and I pinched myself a few times very hard. I let out a blood-curdling scream that was movie worthy. I thought that I was in fact having a nightmare, but as it turns out I was not. However, after having watched the following film, the theory on slipping into an alternate universe is still up for discussion.

Without further adu, I present to you: Joaquin Phoenix with his uni-bomber inspired beard and casual country club outfit in a performance that can only be described as "If Kate Beckinsale went down on Rosie O'Donnell and then afterwards threw up on one of Rosie's adopted children - and then that adopted child started to rap. And oh yeah - Casey Affleck filmed the entire thing."

Please, Joaquin, tell me that this is just a warm-up for April 1st. Say it ain't so. I was actually looking forward to seeing your latest movie, Two Lovers.

This brings back bad memories such as this: A Canadian rapper named Snow. (Equally unacceptable is Vanilla Ice)