Today I focused on the question of why me. God has been generally evasive when I ask her things like that, but I kept at it today. I came at the question from different angles and tried to piece together her scattered answers.

She told me it wasn’t any one thing and it wasn’t just random, like I’d won the lottery or something. Given the track record of people that God contacted in the Old Testament, I didn’t find this news particularly comforting, so I pressed on.

One of the biggest things, from what I could gather, was that she knew I wouldn’t just collapse to my knees in abject worship. She wanted someone she could actually talk with, someone who wouldn’t necessarily just take her word for things, someone who would challenge her answers, because that would be someone to whom the message would actually be getting through.

She did admit, though, that sometimes she regretted the decision just a little. She said it could be pretty annoying when I got on a question and just wouldn’t let it go.