Saturday, 13 February 2010

Take off that apronAnd put your red dress onNoOn second thoughtTake off that red dressAnd lay backOn my big brass bedIn your pink slipThe one with flowers sewn on itNot the oneThat certifies the registration of your autoIt’s a lovely autoI just don’t like itBecause it has kudzu vinesGrowing out of its bodyAnd you know how I hate kudzu vines

12 comments:

Thomas! Kudzu vines are beautiful. When they are on your Valentine. Did you not know that? Sure you did.I am loving this, you. I know her and love her still. Just as you do with the owner of those kudzu vines *wink*

I didn't know what kudzu vines were (now I do - thanks Wikipedia), but it doesn't matter... I can't think of a Valentine's poem I've enjoyed more than this one. I laughed out loud at the 'on second thought' and the pink slip joke on the first read. The second time I smiled and wondered what my valentine would make of it (I think she'd like it).

Stu, I'm always interested in field research on these issues, as long as the daring researcher doesn't have to be me. Perhaps it's past the moment for this year, but I'd be interested in hearing your valentine's reaction. For the purity of the experiment, perhaps it would be best to try it "blind", by not revealing the author of the poem, or even "lying", by saying the author is a woman.

By the by, the person whose auto is overgrown with kudzu vines in the poem assumes (perhaps erroneously) that a) almost no one will recognize her identity; (b) that anyone who does will know she has never owned an auto; and c) that in any case, she has never worn an apron in her life.

Or for that matter anything else.

(Ah, I jest, naturally.)

Actually, while I was playing about on this post last night, she piped up, from the sanctity of her chamber, where she was, as is her pre-dawn wont, turning the pages of the newspaper, that the average American male spent about $140 on Valentine's day commodities this year, while the average American female spent about $80.

Hmm, I carefully responded.

The total Valentine's Day expenditure in this terminally benighted yet it seems relentlessly romantic republic, as she went on to report (still reading from the newspaper), was over $3 billion.

Right there, I thought to myself, is a good argument in favour of blogging. One can blog one's heart out for absolutely nothing.