Deep DiscussionHave a seat at Deep Discussion for in-depth discussions, extended or serious conversations, and current events. From world news to talks on life, growing up, relationships, and issues in society, this is the place to be.
Come be a knight.

Generally I feel that I'm a good-for-nothing, dime-a-dozen sort of person and that if I were never born or were to just disappear tomorrow nobody and nothing would be any worse off for it. It doesn't always show, nor does it always effect everything I do or is constantly in my head, but that's what I feel deep down.

On a more serious note, I’ve always had nihilistic tendencies and overall see no point to life whatsoever. I don’t consider my physical appearance to be pleasing most of the time, but I like my personality so that’s a win I suppose.

There's joy to deceit, that much I know
And the less I convince the more I throw
Self-obsession, search the words for my name
Don't want to listen if there's nothing nice to say
So scared that someone will find my core before I can check and replace
But there are just some stains that can't be erased

I'll imitate for as long as insecurity rages
And I won't let up until I hear their praises
Because all I've ever wanted is to be exceptional and be above the rest
Undeserving, but getting what I shouldn't is what I do best
I'll hate myself some days because good rules don't apply
And I'll love myself now because I have me to defy

... basically I am fascinated by myself but terrified that I'll find out things that I don't want to know. Sometimes I despise myself, and other times I'm almost in love. Every sentiment I have has a contradiction to match. I am every bit as cruel as I am kind, and every bit as bland as I am interesting. Arrogant and insecure. Empathetic and indifferent. I'm going to make someone very happy and very miserable some day, and chances are they don't deserve me at all and yet will be far too good for me.

"Well I never pray / But tonight I'm on my knees, yeah / I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah / I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now / But the airwaves are clean and there's nobody singing to me now." ★☆★☆

my self esteem is okay. it could be better, i guess. idk. i'm a pretty interesting person when you get to know me, i'll admit that. i'm funny and loyal and kind and a good friend. but since im super quiet at first, no one really takes the chance to get to know me because i have my walls up i guess. irl at least.

but i mean. my self esteem is okay? it could be better. somedays im pretty confident in myself. somedays im not. it just depends i guess.

It really depends on my mood. There are things about myself I don't like. Most of my self-esteem issues are often drive by my anxiety. It has a tendency to make me feel really bad about myself or worry that I'm not good enough or something. I mean, I'm always trying so hard to positive about 95% of the time... but deep down, I still wish I wasn't always worrying. Like, there are just things I simply can't do that I wish I could do. It makes it super hard on my self-esteem because then my anxiety triggers me into realizing I'm not like others, and that I'll never BE like others... no matter how hard I try. I also do try to be more like myself, but that does get me into trouble as well.

Much better. A few years ago I thought I was as gross, creepy, and dumb as people said I was. As I opened up and made more friends, things got better. I realized my strengths and accepted my shortcomings.

It could be better. Because of my trichotillomania, i've pulled out a lot of hair on the front of my head, making it look really messed up. Obviously it's not permanent but it sucks waiting for it to grow back... :(

The PokéCommunity

Meta

Pokémon characters and images belong to The Pokémon Company International and Nintendo. This website is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Nintendo, Creatures, GAMEFREAK, or The Pokémon Company International. We just love Pokémon.