Share

The week leading up to Thanksgiving can be a little tense, especially at the supermarket. People are in a rush, trying to get everything they need to make the perfect Thanksgiving dinner for their family. For obvious reasons, the competition for the best turkey can get a little intense at times, but most shoppers are able to keep things civil. One shopper, however, ran into a very uncivil couple while he was shopping for a nice, fat turkey. Let's call him Nick. He shared his story online and it boggles the mind to try and imagine what was going through those crazy peoples' heads:

Nick's day started off on a weird note. He got up, like normal, and headed to work. Once he got there, though, he soon found out that he wasn't actually scheduled to come in at all that day. It was an unexpected day off and one that he would take full advantage of. With all this newfound time on his hands, Nick decided he'd start getting ready for Thanksgiving a bit early. It was still a week away, but he figured he'd get his pick of the turkey litter. Since he was already out and about, he just went straight to the store in his work clothes. It was your average office attire, so Nick didn't give it a second thought.

Once he got to the store, he made a beeline for the frozen meat department, where the perfect turkey awaited him. Nick checked them all out and chose the fattest one as his prize. As he picked it up and turned to put it in his cart, an older woman who'd been standing nearby suddenly reached for the turkey, saying, "I'll take that one!" At first, Nick thought she was just making a joke, like "That's a nice turkey, I'll take it!" He even chuckled a bit when she said it. But instead of only pretending to reach for the turkey, the woman literally made a grab for it.

Seeing as how Nick was a perfectly healthy young man in his late twenties, it wasn't hard for him to divert her attempts to swipe his turkey, but he was still very confused. Like any normal person would do, he asked what she was doing. That flustered the woman's feathers a bit, and she huffily replied,"I thought you were restocking the turkeys, and since you were holding it I felt it was better to grab it from you then have to bend over and grab one and potentially hurt my back!"

Now Nick was even more confused. He got the impression that the woman thought he worked at the store, but nothing about his appearance gave that impression in the slightest. He tried to be as clear with her as he could. "Restock it? Wait, I don't work here, and I was putting the turkey into the cart, not out of it." Even though Nick's response was perfectly polite, the woman still got upset at the thought of him challenging her, so she called over her husband. If you thought the wife was a piece of work, she had nothing on her spouse. As Nick described, "This guy looks like one of those 'my wife is a queen and should be treated as such' types. He looked at me like I was some snot-nosed teenager who needs to be told how to respect people, even though I am pushing 30."

The husband looked Nick up and down, sizing him up, then issued an ultimatum, "Son, now you give her that turkey, and maybe I won't report you to your manager."

Even though Nick was still trying to stay polite and civil, the situation was beginning to wear on him. In an effort to play the diplomat, Nick tried to end things once and for all with a compromise, but he made one fateful error: he forgot he was dealing with crazy people. "I'm...sorry? I don't actually work here. There are plenty of other turkeys. I mean if she needs help putting a turkey in her cart, I won't mind helping, but you seem like you are capable of doing that." It might not seem like much, but that statement was enough to drive the husband off the deep end.

By this point, this little turkey confrontation had already attracted the attention of a lot of people in the surrounding area, but now the husband guaranteed that pretty much everyone in the entire store could hear what was going on. He'd been loud before, but now he turned the knob up to 11. "I TRIED TO BE FAIR WITH YOU," he roared, "GIVE HER THAT TURKEY ON THE COUNT OF THREE OR I WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO PUT THE FEAR OF GOD INTO YOU! ONE!...TWO!"

Nick had a lot of thoughts swirling through his head at that moment. "Is this guy for real? I just want this turkey. There are plenty of other turkeys. Why is this one so special?"

Luckily for him, Nick never got the chance to see what the husband meant by putting "the fear of God" into him because a nearby manager hustled over to see what all the fuss was about and put an end to the countdown of doom. Nick was glad to see another rational person join the fray since it was fairly obvious that the couple threatening him over a turkey might have a screw or two loose.

The manager, seeking to restore calm and also get a handle on the situation, asked, "Is everything alright over here?"

Before Nick got a chance to respond, the husband cut in with his own story about what happened. "Yes!" he said, "Your employee over here is refusing to give my wife that turkey! She has a bad back and trying to lift one of these turkeys could cause her harm! I should sue you and this son of a gun you hired for attempting to cause my wife bodily harm!" The manager took a look at Nick and the confusion on his face mirrored the utter bewilderment that Nick felt. It was very clear to everyone except the couple that Nick clearly wasn't dressed like he worked at the supermarket.

The manager turned back to the man, polite but adamant, and said, "Sir, this man doesn't work here. He has no obligation to give you that turkey. Please calm down and I will grab another turkey for you, otherwise I will have to ask you to leave." Well, as we learned earlier with his wife, this couple seriously does not like it when their take on reality is questioned in any way. The husband's next outburst and his wife's accompanying heartless comment was what finally made Nick snap.

The husband's face turned an ugly, violent shade of crimson. He almost looked like he was about to explode on the poor manager whose only crime was that he explained the obvious thing the husband had overlooked in his fury. That was a step too far for him, as he then shouted,"HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME IN SUCH DISRESPECT!! I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS NO MAN, THIS IS A BOY WHO NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON IN MANNERS AND I SHOULD GIVE YOU THE SAME TREATMENT TOO!"

Throughout her husband's tirade, his wife kept giving Nick the evil eye. She looked at him "like a teacher would at a misbehaving student." She wasn't about to take any blame for what was happening or for her husband's actions. Instead, she placed the blame for how this whole incident turned out on a surprising source. "You see what you caused," she chided. "Your mother must have been a horrible parent if this is the child that she raised." That was the exact wrong thing to say to Nick. His mother had just passed away a few weeks before and he still felt her loss very deeply. Her snide little comment was just what he needed to push him from polite, but irritated all the way to furious.

Nick realized that he was still holding the turkey. At this point, he just wanted to get away from these people, forever. Figuring that since the turkey was what started all of this, all he'd have to do to put an end to the situation was to just give them what they'd been screaming for. "You know what....here. Take it!" He slammed the turkey into their cart. "Take this stupid turkey. Go. Have it! It is not worth putting up with this Jerry Springer act so have your turkey!" At that, Nick turned and stormed off, sure that he was finally free of the whole sordid ordeal. He underestimated the husband, who had an unquenching need for people to treat him better than he treats them. Nick had spoken to him and his wife in a manner that the husband found reprehensible, so now he was out for blood.

"Excuse me you, disrespectful brat!" spat the husband. "I demand an apology for how you've treated my wife and I! I want it right now!" Nick, who'd had his back turned to the man as he walked away, turned around and flipped him the bird. He also told him where both he and his wife could stick their demands for an apology, and it wasn't a place that got a lot of sunlight if you catch our drift. Nick also informed him and his harpy of a wife that his mother had recently passed away and the woman's heartless remark wasn't exactly easing his grief, so he told him to thank his wife for her cruel words. Nick had stopped walking away in order to give this little speech, so the husband took advantage of this brief pause to punch Nick right in the face.

It was the first time Nick had ever been punched in the face, so he wryly admitted that he felt a bit of pride at being able to cross that particular item off his bucket list. The cops were called, of course, and when they asked Nick if he wanted to press charges, he responded with a resounding, "Yes!" After the cops slapped the husband in handcuffs, the old man was beyond upset. When the cops had arrived, he assumed that they were there to arrest Nick, on account of him flipping the bird and being "disrespectful" to him. He just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that it was HIM who was being arrested for assault. In his attempts to place the blame for what happened on Nick, he claimed that he HAD to punch Nick in the face because Nick was throwing "gang signs" at him. Um, pretty sure that the middle finger is a bit more mainstream that most, if not all, gang signs. Besides, it was clear from Nick's office casual attire that he wasn't exactly gang material.

Once the cops got the guy out to their car, his tough guy act melted away and he burst into tears. He was literally bawling in the backseat, crying about how his wife wouldn't have anyone to take care of her. She, meanwhile, had booked it out of the store shortly after the punch and only came back while her husband was being arrested. Even though she had moved just fine before the police arrived, she acted weak while they questioned her. The whole time she spoke with the police, however, she was shooting Nick some serious stink eye. The joke was on her, though, since Nick got the star treatment after the cops left. Even though he never did get the chance to get the exact turkey that he originally came in for, he still walked out of the store with a free bird and a couple of pies. It almost makes getting punched in the face worth it.

Comments

Oola

Oola, king of food on the web! From recipes for new drinks and fast snacks to foodie tales that will make you laugh-out-loud or wince in awe, Oola is an endless buffet of food and fun.