While visiting Philadelphia, the Catholic vice president answered a question on Pope Benedict XVI’s decision to resign his position by saying, “I am not running.” …

Yes, he’s qualified: the rules state that any Catholic male is eligible for the Papacy. This has led to many Nino Scalia jokes, but not enough Rick Santorum mockery. I personally suspect Sen. Sanctorum is still hovering over his Vatican hot line, just in case…

Pope or Jill? Pretty easy to answer. Obama and Biden seem to be doing a lot of simply trolling and f-ing around with people these days. One gets the idea that winning the election loosened them up a bit.

I’m a baptized Catholic male. I’ve already put my hat in the ring for the papacy. My platform is equality and charity work. Every living person should be treated equally, so no more discrimination. Every person deserves help when they need it, so charity and outreach would be encouraged. And a living person has to be able to, you know, live, so no more of this conception=life nonsense. Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.

And by others, I mean men.

And by some, I mean any woman who decides upon an abortion.

I eagerly await the call from the voting cardinals to confirm the proper spelling of my name and credentials.

@Redshirt: When JPII died he predicted on an Air America show(hosted by some guy named Franklin or Frankel, what ever happened to him; he was funny) that the next pope would be Benedict the 17th, they’d skip a number.

@Mnemosyne: Picked up a King Taco burrito on the way home from the courthouse, yum. I’m done with jury duty(only one day). Thanks to WIFI in the jury room, my tablet, tunes on the table, and Balloon Juice; jury duty didn’t suck too much.

It seems a little odd that the deity’s schedule for transferring the Papacy can be, what is it, gregorian calendar. On FEBRUARY 28, ol’ Bennzoil just sheds himself of his holy powers, or his access, I guess, to Holy Infallible Dictu.

What an admission that it’s all just the paperwork.

OK, Change the stationery on March 1. What does His Holiness, Pope Elvis, Peter from Africa guy, Someone from South America, or any old ManPope prefer for his Holy Font on his papal office stationery.

Will there be a change in Vatican cooks, menus, personnel (as in household staff).

It is odd to have kinda sorta overlapping popes. Dibs on the bandname kinda sorta overlapping popes.

@Mnemosyne: Nope, not Pasadena, Mosk(civil) court in downtown. There’s a King Taco off San Fernando in Glassel Park. I’ve served in Burbank a few times(the wife will change to that court since she works in Burbank). I was on a civil trail there where the judge had prosthetic ears(very old) and during the trial one fell off.

Oh good grief. Once in a while I like to sample the offerings of network tv and mostly can’t stand it.

So I just watched a few minutes of something called “Monday Mornings”, a TNT series about hospital surgeons, like perhaps Grey’s Anatomy maybe (ya think?). Few minutes in, they’re talking about “if we only had tort reform”.

G works in Glassell Park, so he may have to go hunt down the King Taco the next time his guys need a lunch treat. They love to give the gringo mystery food, so it would serve them right if he came back with a bunch of cabeza and lengua tacos.

Sweet romping Ronny Reagan on a raft of Jody Foster movies, how many more of these do we need?

EASTVALE, Calif. — Authorities say an 8-year-old boy who found a handgun in a Southern California home has accidentally shot a man in the head.

Riverside County sheriff’s officials say the incident occurred shortly after 10 p.m. Saturday in Eastvale. The boy discovered a loaded .45-caliber handgun in a dresser drawer and fired one round into the floor.

A 39-year-old man sitting downstairs at a kitchen table was struck on the top of the head by the bullet. He was taken to a nearby hospital and treated for a non-life threatening wound.

Sheriff’s investigators said 40-year-old Carlos Santillan Serafico was arrested for investigation of negligently maintaining a firearm accessible to a minor. It was unclear if the boy was related to Serafico.

I’ve already seen a handwritten poster on a lamppost that said “THE NEXT POPE IS THE ANTICHRIST”. Of all places, this was at Story and King in East San Jose, the heart of the Hispanic area.
“NEXT” was written differently, so I don’t know if it was added later. I suspect someone from one of the Pentecostal churches that have been targeting the Hispanic community for a long time.

Well, it has full internet capability, but severely restricts connectivity (FYI, the Vatican is listed as providing some IPv6 services to N. Korea).

That does not mean that N. Koreans are unversed with the tech though, as there is a state-run, tightly state controlled ISP and intranet (Kwangmyong), with access available 24/7 for free, providing e-mail and the posting state-approved pages/sites from the global internet in addition to ubiquitous state propaganda since 2000.

Somewhat surprisingly, the North Koreans also produce some of the software for mobile phones made by the South Korean company Samsung, which began collaboration with the KCC in March 2000. North Korean computer experts have received training in China, Russia and India, and are considered, even by the South Koreans, as some of the best in the world. Source

@Mark S.: That’s about the least surprising thing I’ve read all day, but still good to know. The most shocking thing about Merchants of Doubt was that the same shit has been pulled by the same group of a half dozen people so many times already.

@askew: I was gonna say something snarky but then I felt bad because not being able to sleep when you need/want to really sucks. I usually just put the TV on something non-distracting (I find L&O reruns are good) on low volume, and then lay down and start sort of planning out the next day, in minute detail. Like, think your way through the whole day, with eyes closed, steady breathing, etc. Sometimes it can help to sort of lull your brain into sleep.

I feel either super organized or kinda silly because I just ordered my parents’ anniversary gift, but their anniversary is in August.

But it was tickets! So I needed to get good seats. And in fact I should’ve done it a week ago and gotten better but oh well. Now when they arrive in the mail I’ll have to find a place to hide them where I won’t forget about them in six months.

@Aimai: Oh, no, I meant that I won’t forget where I put them :) I could see myself tearing my room apart the night before. But actually, I could use the Google calendar reminder to include a “THEY’RE IN YOUR UNDERPANTS DRAWER, DUMMY” note :)

ETA Okay I just reread your comment and realize this is basically what you were saying. Duhhhhh in my defense it’s late and I’m watching TV :P

@arguingwithsignposts:
That was the first thing I thought of. OTOH – the shear number of whackadoos making headlines in the toilet with palm trees makes it certain Florida Man will have a long and glorious run

Re: Insomnia. Watch out for hidden caffeine, which can last longer in the body than you think, especially as you get older. (Lots of people say “caffeine doesn’t affect me.” Lots of people are unaware that caffeine may interfere with how WELL they sleep, even if it doesn’t actually keep them awake.)

You probably already know about tea, Excedrin Migraine and some other pain relievers, Mountain Dew, Mello Yello, Dr. Pepper, Yahoo (and anything else with chocolate). But stay away from stuff with guarana in it, too. They’re putting that in everything from sunflower seeds to oatmeal to beef jerky these days. No kidding!

As a rule I avoid anything with a label that references “energy” or “perk” after 2 p.m.