Category: Won’t Somebody Please Think Of The Children

On Monday, Hilary Duff took her 4-year-old son Luca to Disneyland, maybe to show him the company mommy used to work for, but probably just because Disneyland is fun. While standing in front of It’s A Small World, Hilary and Luca posed for a mommy-and-son photo in which she gave her son a kiss. A kiss which happened to be on the mouth. Then she posted the picture to Instagram. I’ll give you a hint as to what happens next: people weren’t feeling it.

Science says that we’re all made of stardust (and, like, other stuff), but I think we all know that while some of us are made of stardust, one of us is the titan who crushed those stars into dust in the first place. Yes, Tilda Swinton is back and she’s coming for Harry Potter of all fictional people. Tilda gave an interview with The Scots Magazine (via The Daily Mail) and in it she talks about growing up with the kind of money that lets parents drop their kids off at school for 12 years.

Actress Tilda Swinton criticised the Harry Potter films for romanticising the ‘cruel’ boarding school experience. The star, 56, who boarded at the exclusive West Heath Girls’ School, in Sevenoaks, Kent, said it can be harmful to separate children from their parents at a young age.

Like many people, Halle Berry is a mom and she’s on Instagram. But unlike some moms, Halle Berry’s Instagram isn’t filled with 8,024 pictures of her children holding up packs of diapers like “LaKynn and McKarty love their @Huggies!” in an attempt to get those sponsored content dollars. Halle Berry barely posts pictures of her kids on Instagram and when she does, she doesn’t include their faces, because she’s private like that. One of Halle’s Instagram followers didn’t like Halle cropping her kids’ faces out and told her about it repeatedly. Halle doesn’t have to respond to Instagram comments (see: being famous), but she did this time and it got a tiny bit dramatic.

Kristin Cavallari, the former reality TV person-turned-professional famous mom and noted anti-vaxxer, recently found herself on the shit end of some internet hate. For once it wasn’t because of something dumb that came out of her mouth.

As luck would have it, I’m once again the goddamned Pied Piper of baby stories. Usually it’s about someone pushing one out, but today I get to tell you all about some baby mess. No, I won’t be talking about barf and the shits, as much as I’d like to. We’re talking custody! And, well, kind of babies fighting for custody of a baby, because Louis Tomlinson and his babymama Briana Jungwirth are basically still chirruns. (Note from Allison: Louis is actually 24 years old, to which I say: “Whaaaat?“).

TMZ is saying that shit is about to get all kinds of legal for these two and their baby, Freddie Reign. Louis has reportedly had it up to here (the here is the top of the playpen, the highest point he can reach wid his widdle hand) with Briana denying him access to Freddie. Source types are saying Briana has been “inconsistent” with letting Louis spend time with Freddie, despite him dropping $15k into her bank account every month and getting her and the baby a house in Calabasas.

In “Truly Weird Childhoods” news, Kate Mulgrew, aka Red from Orange is the New Blackor Cpt. Janeway from Star Trek: Voyager, tells us about little Kate Mulgrew. Little Kate Mulgrew has lived through some shit.

During an interview with ITV’s Lorraine (via UsWeekly), Kate talked about her memoirs that were released last year called Born With Teeth. That title is no metaphor. Kate admitted that when she popped out of her mom, she was born with a mouthful of teeth. I always thought a newborn’s surprise special features and no-cost upgrades were limited to a few extra toes or a full head of hair, but no. Apparently infants can be born with a condition called “neonatal teeth.” Kate says she was one of those babies.