Sunday, February 8, 2009

What I think-dear is that the auto-wala is here

Alec Smarts Pic: A photo which was shown in the exhibtion stall of Kashmir in IIUM, my university..

Its been quite some time that I wrote a real trademark TOK style article.. Well yes i didnt, I just copied an old one which no one had read ever.. except for the SAKOOTER.. She wanted an article for a magazine.. And this is that article..

10 January 2008 (This ones real old, man)

Remember the good old days? When all you needed was your car and thekeys to reach your office (School, tuitions anything) on time.Everyone thought that it was a good idea and decided to get one forthemselves. After all, the very amount of pride one would get would beworth the price.. Some people wanted to help you. The same peoplecreated banks. The banks, thus, sprang up everywhere to give people acool idea called, in short, car loans.

Yes, car loans- it was a huge sensation. All you needed was a bank andsome people and your thumb (for the thumb-print). And thus the car wasyours. Not to mention that the people from the 'mohalla' would changetheir attitude.. They would now bow down in respect.. (Dont forget thethumb-printed application while you read this)

But,You wish you had left home earlier..You wish you had your office at home..You wish you lived in USA..You wish the traffic would clear up.You wish that J&K bank would stop giving car loans...

Welcome to 2008, the year of traffic in our state! A flyover is beingbuilt. (You know.. I just figured it out.. It is still being built)The one near lal-chowk is being rarely used (As I saidsomewhere that people are afraid of heights). Tata unveiling the 1lakh car. (Due date was August.. Lots Of Tension I remember)The sheer dominance of the Maruti 800 on Kashmiri roads ismy concern here. Wait a few months more and TATA shall rule theroads..

Some people do know how to drive, yes only some.. The others aretrying to figure out what will happen if they press their brakes alittle too late or turn that wheel in their hands a bit too far. Andthus we require the 'Blue Men'. The traffic guys.. Whose job is tostop every car and ask for papers.. If no papers they ask for money..If no money they ask how come the car.. You reply, "J&K Bank.."

Red Eyed and with weakened lungs, I bravely turn my head towards myleft.. Oh Dear!! How could I forget..

Getting a clear road is a lottery, and just in case it was clear,getting an Auto to stop dancing along the road was like winning thestate and the national lottery on the same day. For those who didn'tunderstand, please read the next paragraph!!

In a dizzyling display of driving skills, the 'auto uncle' movesbetween the other vehicles. Going by the delicious and creative nameof 'Dilbur Raja', this unique mechanical creature is one of the mostrandomly moving contraptions ever made.. The other cars (not even halfas random) who want to blow off steam have to manage by just blowingthe horns. But how could one imagine the very low and disgusting hornswho cant even shake the majesty out of them..

And suddenly they stop..And if you are behind the auto you stop as well..Thoughts come into you mind!!"Autos dont stop, Why did he?"

You raise you head up a bit and say, "Oh yeah! I forgot this one too,Swaraj Mazda BUS"

The auto guy puts behind himself all his experiences and tries to curlround the bus (and succeeds)..

Yeah the auto!!A- AllU- UnderT- ThisO- Onslaught

You can talk to any 'uninvited' guest at your home and discuss thepolitics behind Benazirs murder, you can make your point in placeslike blogs (how about mine) but take my word, you cant stop these 'Menin Black'. They are determined to take on the traffic. And I amdetermined to catch my forty winks of autoless sleep!!