tagged marijuana »

Mahwah, NJ- Bergen County Prison is filled to its capacity due to the excessive amount of Ramapo College Students smoking reefer at the Ramapo Reservation. “We no longer have the resources to house these delinquents. We have no other choice but to legalize marijuana.” “The views in the Reservation are great and enjoying them high... MORE »

Co-wrote this one with my guy Alex Piliouras, who is tragically without internet. May he find other means to consume cat videos and naked ladies. Butt Sex is the New Marijuana: One of Baylor University’s classes next semester is “Homosexuality as Gateway Drug.” Other new courses include, “What’s With Jews?” “Science 101: Why Earth is... MORE »

This past Wednesday, researchers at the Cornell Department of Policy Analysis and Management were shocked to discover that marijuana would totally be legal if stoners weren’t too lazy to actually take political action on the issue. “After conducting a thorough and comprehensive analysis on cannabis facts, we were surprised to find that there is... MORE »

The academic world of philosophy was turned upside-down this past weekend when Ron Davis, an underclassman from Cornell, allegedly discovered the meaning of life. “I was just chilling with some guys upstairs in this frat house, listening to some Radiohead, and definitely not doing anything illegal,” says Davis in between bites of his chicken... MORE »

After today’s announcement by Linn State College that it will drug test every student on campus, officials at the school were adamant about the statute, citing drug tests that will inevitably occur post-college in the workplace. Several other universities decided to follow the precedent established by Linn State, leading to a mass exodus of students... MORE »