Calls For Every American To Be Armed With A Confederate Flag

After the tragic church shooting in Charleston South Carolina, where nine lives were lost, calls have been made to have every American armed with a confederate flag to avoid further shootings.

The gunman a young white male, who was hoping his actions would spark a race war and also bring the bowl cut back into fashion, was pictured with the divisive flag that hangs from the Charleston town hall.

A spokesperson for the M-Tea Party, who are leading the pro-confederate flag charge, told The (un)Australian: “People who are against the flag should embrace it, then no one would get hurt, that’s simple logic. I mean if you believe what I believe, I’m not going to shoot you.”

Pressed on the flag’s controversial past, the spokesperson said: “I know in the past it has stood for some things that it shouldn’t have, like the Dukes of Hazzard. That TV show is not appropriate in this day and age, I mean white people running from the police, come on.”

Major retail chains like Walmart have already stopped selling the confederate flag in a move which is seen as damaging, to China the country that manufactures the flag.