I have no idea who any of these cheeky bottoms belong to, but last night Towie’s Sam Faiers sent out a tweet identifying all of them.

Talking of Twitter. In Hamlet, Polonious said “brevity is the soul of wit”. I don’t pretend to know what the hell that even means because frankly I can barely read, but I think it’s relevant to Twitter.

Once you’re on Twitter you’re forced to say everything in 140 characters or less. Nowadays lots of celebrities use Twitter, to keep in touch with fans, promote their cheap-ass products or just satisfy their greedy bank accounts by tweeting someone else’s cheap-ass product.

Some celebrities still don’t get Twitter. They think it’s their own personal message system. Take Sam for example. She follows thisBar Refaeli, who doesn’t follow her back. Clearly they don’t know each other so I’m assuming Sam has just followed the wrong Bar Refeli.

It’s sort of stunning to see just how dumb Sam is. It’s got to the point where I’m now wondering how she manages to even feed and clothe herself.