Eight Things Straight Men Can Learn From Gay Porn

I’ve tried to get my boyfriends to watch guy-on-guy porn with me. Yhey’re game to watch pseudo-lesbians paw each other, but they draw the line at man love. But there’s a lot a guy could learn about sex by watching two dudes go at it. So, I’ve decided to give guys the cheat sheet on what they could learn from gay porn.

We All Want To Feel Someone: Men take the blame for wanting anal sex, but a lot of women want to do it, too. Men have something back there that’ll get them off — the prostate. All I’m sayin’ is, you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.

Be Aggressive: Gay porn can be a little rougher, and still consensual. Something about a man throwing a woman against the wall to kiss you is sexy. It shows you want to do me, with passion. I’m not made of porcelain; I won’t break. Feel free to let me know how bad you want it.

Wear Nice Underwear: Packaging does a lot for a package. Leopard banana hammocks are a more of a niche market, but a decent pair of tightie-whities is a total improvement.

Role Equality: We both have the ability to be “the top” or “the bottom.” Sometimes, I want to be the one taking the lead, and sometimes I don’t. That doesn’t make anyone less of a woman — or a man, for that matter.

Trim Your Hedges: Our secret gardens are always growing, so you’ve got to maintain yours. No one is saying that you’ve got to weed the whole place, but, you know, you gotta keep up with your manscaping.

Location, Location, Location: Why don’t we do it in the hall? Or the pool? Or our military bunker? Well, you get the idea.

Orgasms Aren’t Optional: It not over until the mutual money shot. We both need to get what we came for.

Lube Job: Feel free to use lube. I make it magically, but every bit counts.