COMMENTERS! Make up your own Assassin’s Creed game. To start it off here’s one.

Assassins’ Creed – Set in Scranton, Pennsylvania the setting for the adorable office comedy The OFFICE, you get your very own Creed Bratton to follow you around on your adventures. Unfortunately they are dull because it’s Scranton. You play as the Scranton Strangler. Final boss battle is your trial.

Assassins’ Deed – an intense real estate simulation where you play as Eh Zero Auditor-y a lazy, womanizing, real estate agent who is at the brink of bankruptcy due to a rival agency ruining his families good name

Assassins Freed. Its actually just an expansion for AC3. You murder your way up to convince Lincoln to set the blacks free. Also, first black relative for our protagonist. Bonus DLC for stopping John Wilkes Booth

Assassin’s Greed – Start your own corporation, and lie, cheat, and embezzle your way to the top, where you can gouge prices and buy politicians, and eventually rule the world! Along the way, hire assassins to harass your opposition: Abstergo.

Assassin’s Mead – Open a meadery and give all dem fine nords a drink! But watch out for Maven Blackbriar; she’s a crafty one. Battles with the DB sold separately.

Assassin’s Need – You run a soup kitchen, but all is not as it seems. This institution is actually a front for a… a… another soup kitchen? Wait, no. Ah! It’s a front for a faceless charitable organization with a shadowy, unseen-and-only-hinted-at, omniscient controlling board of powerful people from various backgrounds working to… send food to hungry people in Africa! Those rapscallions! Reprobates! Delinquents! Evildoers! Other deplorable nouns! They must be stopped at all costs to save the food for the needy in AMERICA! FUCK YEAH! (Please take no offense anyone. I shouldn’t need to say anything here, but here is still the internet and the internet… is the internet.)

Assassin’s Keyed – Estyo Awtitaury walk to the curb one day and finds… a scratch on his car! Some bastard must have keyed it! A massively epic murder-mystery ensues spanning five! epic cities, with 1,000 nearly invisible collectible clues in each.

Assassin’s Treed – Eshyo Autydore is an environmentalist, but those evil oil companies are trying to pour oil in his favorite forest! They must be stopped at any cost.

Assassin’s Reed – A music simulator; learn to play oboe, clarinet, bassoon and saxophone as Assyboe Auditory. If you can defeat the Templars with the power of music from all four instruments, you unlock a secret fifth instrument. (hint: bagpipes)

Assassin’s Seed – Essytoe Aodutory is a gardener, but his garden is being invaded by evil zombie templars! Plant a wide variety of sentient plants to defend your customer’s lawn! Yeah, its plants vs. zombies. What do you expect? I’m not really trying all that hard here…

I think that’s enough. I apologize if this ruins other people’s fun, but removing the more obvious ones first leaves rooms for funnier, more creative ones. I know none of these are very good, but whatever. I didn’t comment on the last few comics, so I had to make up for it in word count.

Also,

Assassin’s Cre-Oh Wait You’re No Assassin You Kill Dozens of Guards In Broad Daylight to Take Out a Mark.

Yeah, I wish there were more missions you had to stay hidden for. It’s getting better, but not assassiny enough for me. What’s worse, with the crossbow many missions are made laughably easy to do undetected. It’s cool and all, but way too OP.

It sounds cool to you… well, get involved in the military history/reenactment of that era, get some reputation in that subculture, and by the time you have to explain how and why is this game bullshit to the 50th guy who believes almost everything from it, it won’t sound that cool. As an armourer, I learned to fucking hate the whole series in the last few years.
To be a bit more positive, this strip was the second time I enjoyed something related to AC (not counting the innumerable times I enjoy the blessings of alternating current), the first being Woodkid’s Iron.

Assassin’s Leed – Taking place during a rock music festival, you must press colored buttons on an oversized plastic chunk in a rythm roughly equivalent to the song you wish you could actually play. Occasional Versus songs take place against real foreign bands(Easy Mode lets you swap them out with the non-studio Dragonforce), with the losers being removed from the premises by drunken fans. An unwinnable final boss fight places you against Sonata Arctica.