daughter of a narcisstic mother

hi yáll.. i just wanted to let you know that im a sufferer of narcistic mother who has controlled me for over 25 years and have made me feel so helpless that my only way of getting out of that stress was this porn and masturbation...but it has effected me so badly like my confidence and hardworking abilities. and i want all that back. so it will be an honor to know if someone here suffers from the same thing. because narcs can really drive you crazy...above all i belong to a strict household and i really cant leave other than getting married for which i think im not ready yet. so what do you guys suggest i should do?

If I may ask, what would happen if you got yourself a job and moved out?

Click to expand...

I would like to know, as well. I understand it's difficult to fathom contradicting your parents, but they cannot legally hold you there. It is also wrong to do so if your mother is harming your ability to function as an adult.

I'm not saying you should go and do it. I just want you to consider that maybe your options are not as narrow as you think.

hi yáll.. i just wanted to let you know that im a sufferer of narcistic mother who has controlled me for over 25 years and have made me feel so helpless that my only way of getting out of that stress was this porn and masturbation...but it has effected me so badly like my confidence and hardworking abilities. and i want all that back. so it will be an honor to know if someone here suffers from the same thing. because narcs can really drive you crazy...above all i belong to a strict household and i really cant leave other than getting married for which i think im not ready yet. so what do you guys suggest i should do?

What is your school/work status? Certainly, marriage isn't the answer to this dilemma. Can you give some specifics as to some of the things your "...narcistic mother..." does that so badly affects you?

What is your school/work status? Certainly, marriage isn't the answer to this dilemma. Can you give some specifics as to some of the things your "...narcistic mother..." does that so badly affects you?

Click to expand...

My birthday’s around the corner that’s why I said 25. And I’m final year pharmacist student.

My birthday’s around the corner that’s why I said 25. And I’m final year pharmacist student.

Click to expand...

That is frickin' awesome. So you're a drug dealer! LOL! Can ya hold out for another year? I know that's probably what you didn't want to hear. But if you can hold out for just another year, you'll be in a financial position to move out and live comfortably.

I would like to know, as well. I understand it's difficult to fathom contradicting your parents, but they cannot legally hold you there. It is also wrong to do so if your mother is harming your ability to function as an adult.

I'm not saying you should go and do it. I just want you to consider that maybe your options are not as narrow as you think.

Click to expand...

Yeah you’re right. But I’ve one more year to be with them and then I can leave. Because my studies will be over then.

That is frickin' awesome. So you're a drug dealer! LOL! Can ya hold out for another year? I know that's probably what you didn't want to hear. But if you can hold out for just another year, you'll be in a financial position to move out and live comfortably.

Click to expand...

Yeah that’s exactly what I’m trying to do. Like I’ll try my best for another year till I can be done with my exam and move out. Thanks

@FlyingPizza has made her way through this and has an awesome outlook on scheduling your time. You could schedule your time such that you're just too busy to give her any thought.

Click to expand...

Yeah to be honest this is one of my strategies to stay away from her.. but then she also uses this to guilt trip me like ‘you don’t like me anymore’ ‘you hate me’ so that I’ll feel sorry for her like I’m treating her wrong and would go back to my old submissive ways so that she could have me under her wings again

Yeah to be honest this is one of my strategies to stay away from her.. but then she also uses this to guilt trip me like ‘you don’t like me anymore’ ‘you hate me’ so that I’ll feel sorry for her like I’m treating her wrong and would go back to my old submissive ways so that she could have me under her wings again

Click to expand...

But you don't. And for very valid reasons. It doesn't mean that you don't love her though. That's a form of Gaslighting. If she's looking for a pity party, let her go it alone. It could be she is just scared to death that when she loses you, she'll be so lonely. But that's rather selfish.

But you don't. And for very valid reasons. It doesn't mean that you don't love her though. That's a form of Gaslighting. If she's looking for a pity party, let her go it alone. It could be she is just scared to death that when she loses you, she'll be so lonely. But that's rather selfish.

Click to expand...

Yeah that’s exactly her psyche. But sometimes I feel it’s unfair that I had to loose such a beautiful part of my life to this trauma

For now, the goal is to limit the amount of control your mother has over you, as hard as that is. Having a full schedule would certainly help. How much free time do you have per week? If you have 5 hours or more, consider starting a side gig. You could babysit, walk dogs, mow lawns, clean someone's house... 75 bucks per week will leave you with almost 4000 dollars in your pocket a year from now, which might be enough to move out as soon as you finish your studies and find a job.

For now, the goal is to limit the amount of control your mother has over you, as hard as that is. Having a full schedule would certainly help. How much free time do you have per week? If you have 5 hours or more, consider starting a side gig. You could babysit, walk dogs, mow lawns, clean someone's house... 75 bucks per week will leave you with almost 4000 dollars in your pocket a year from now, which might be enough to move out as soon as you finish your studies and find a job.

Click to expand...

yeah you re right...thank you so much for this suggestion. i will do something like this soon

For now, the goal is to limit the amount of control your mother has over you, as hard as that is. Having a full schedule would certainly help. How much free time do you have per week? If you have 5 hours or more, consider starting a side gig. You could babysit, walk dogs, mow lawns, clean someone's house... 75 bucks per week will leave you with almost 4000 dollars in your pocket a year from now, which might be enough to move out as soon as you finish your studies and find a job.

About Us

NoFap® is a comprehensive community-based porn recovery website. We offer all the tools our users need to connect with a supportive community of individuals determined to quit porn use and free themselves from compulsive sexual behaviors.

You must be 13 or older to use NoFap®. Users under 18 must read and adhere to these guidelines.

Any information you gather here is not medical advice and is provided solely for educational and informational purposes. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, contact a hotline or authorities immediately.

Opinions shared by users of NoFap® do not represent the views of NoFap LLC. Likewise, the views of NoFap LLC are not universally shared by all of our users.