Thursday, November 11, 2010

Hello, There. I'm a Mom! Dontcha Wanna Read About Me?

Hiya! My husband and I welcomed our son into the world in August of this year. We call him the Smallman, because he was so tiny when he was born! (He was born at 35 weeks, and was 5 lbs, 5 oz). His actual name is Carlin, after George Carlin. Also, he's our first baby! So, everything that he does is really quite cute or downright baffling to us. Sometimes it's both.

So, here's another Mommy blog!

In the hopes that you will become a loyal reader, I promise the following:

This will not be an "I'm such a perfect supermom" blog.

Occasionally I will write about things other than my son. Very occasionally.

I promise to be as entertaining as my sleep-deprived brain can possibly handle.

I will try my hardest not to get up on too many soapboxes.

Okay, I admit it. You'll have to want to hear stories about a Mom, a Dad, and their baby to enjoy this blog! And I'll get this out of the way now: POOP. Poop, poop, poop. You'll hear LOTS about poop. You'll also read about things that, if you're not a parent or parent-to-be, you will honestly have NO DESIRE to even care about. Such as: gDiapers, rattle preferences, breastfeeding, pumping, bottles, which clothing brands are awesome, how stupid car seats make me feel, baby socks, pacifiers, Bjorn carriers, and sleep routines.

So, more about poop.....

Little known fact: some breastfed babies can go for a week without pooping, and that's okay, as long as they pee plenty. (I asked my pediatrician, and the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding backed her up). A caveat: if a baby waits to poop for that long, you will not like the results.

DAY ONE: Tra la la, no poopie diapers today! I'm such a lucky mommy.

DAY TWO: Oh, how nice! No poops today, either.

DAY THREE: Still no poops. (Consults breastfeeding book and pediatrician). Guess it's okay, though, because he's peeing like a fire hose.

DAY FIVE: Me: "Honey, the pediatrician said that it's okay that he hasn't pooped yet, right?"
Husband: "Do you have to ask that question during dinner?"

DAY SIX: Google Search: What if my child never poops again?

DAY SEVEN: "I think I smell a poopie diaper! Let's go change you!" Up the stairs to the nursery...... "Are you serious?!" The diaper was filled: front to back, side to side. The poop was the color of fresh pumpkin puree (I am NOT making a pumpkin pie this year. Not). And, lemme tell you: although the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding will lead you to believe that breastmilk smells "fine going in and coming out" of the baby, to that I say,

YOU ARE WRONG, LADIES! WRONG!!!

It does not smell fine. Although I'm sure that formula poop smells worse (especially if they were unfortunate enough to get some beetle parts) this smelled......thick. And peppery. And vinegary. And gross.

So, I thought that I was happy on Tuesday when he pooped, a full 4 days ahead of schedule.... it was still huge. And then he did it AGAIN, 15 minutes later! This kid is full of poop.