Lessons learned by an overachiever seeking happiness.

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When I first started this blog, I was soo ready. I had hundreds of ideas I wanted to communicate, and I just needed somewhere to put them. For the first week or so, I wrote a lot. Or at least, it *felt* like a lot, for a number-crunchy non-writer like me. I wrote what was on my mind. I wrote posts inspired by feedback I had gotten from people who read my earlier posts. I had never counted writing as one of my strengths, yet people were saying positive things about what I had written.

And then it occurred to me:

Crap. People are actually reading what I’m writing. What should I write next? Should I finish the networking series? Should I continue to write about self-exploration? Should I write things that will be useful to the undergrads I’m speaking to next week, or should I write something for my friend who’s going on a sabbatical? Who should I write for, and when?

So, you’ve probably noticed (or maybe not, because who’s really waiting for my next post) that I haven’t written anything new for more than a week. Here’s the advice I had a hard time putting into practice:

There are two types of thinking: divergent thinking and convergent thinking. Both are useful in creativity and problem solving, but you must keep them separate.

In the past year, I’ve made a habit of asking folks who seem to be contemplating their future:

What were you doing when time flew? What were you doing last when you completely lost track of time, and when you finally did check the time, wish you had more to keeping doing what you were doing?

I first encountered this set of questions in Professor Randy Haykin‘s class, Innovation, Creativity, and Entrepreneurship. He was introducing us to the concept of flow, that sweet spot when we have the highest potential for creativity.

I like asking this set of questions because it feels easier to answer than the “What do I do with my life” question. That’s because when time is flying, when you are in the flow, you are so fully immersed in what you are doing that you are unfettered by the usual thoughts and constructs that keep you unhappy. (This is the exact same feeling described in my previous post here, except that it’s being prompted by something you’re doing instead of something external to you.) And somehow by simply recalling that moment, you experience freedom from the pressing thoughts of shoulds, coulds, and imaginary boundaries that prevent you from answering the “life” question.

Ok, a couple of the instances when time flew were when I was making my Up Halloween costume and when I was creating clues for The Game. But I didn’t go to business school to become a costume designer or clue writer. How does this have anything to do with what I want to do as a career?

It might. It might not. But if you were so fully enjoying what you were doing that you lost track of time, it does point to a part of what to do with your life.

These things that I love doing don’t necessarily need to be how I make my living (although I am toying with the idea of being a full-service themed children’s birthday party planner, complete with invitations, decor, costume design, and cake decorating options). I just need to make sure that I make time for them in my life.

Often our dilemma is that we think that by dedicating time to these pursuits that we love, we will have less time for the “more important” things in life, like work, our partner, our family, etc. How could I possibly find the energy to do that on top of everything else I need to take care of? That’s the magic of it. It isn’t a zero-sum game. In fact, dedicating time to these activities give us more energy at the end of the day, and re-energizes us for the other parts of our lives.

Think about it. What do you LOVE doing? What were you doing the last time you were really excited about what you were doing? When were you last in your element or in the flow? How did it feel?

Have you felt that way in the past week? In the past month? In the past year?

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Michelle Florendo, Career Transition Coach

Michelle Florendo is the founder of What If You Could, a career coaching practice that inspires Type-A professionals to do what they love and love what they do. She coaches driven professionals through transitions to more meaningful work and leads workshops on "career pivots" around the world. For more information about her services, visit http://whatifyoucould.be