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Who Dey Revolution Manifesto

Preamble

IN THIS TIME of perpetual Cincinnati Bengals incompetence and futility, with zero playoff wins in the nineteen seasons since the WhoDeyRevolution Godfather, Paul Brown, passed away in 1991 and handed the team to his fortunate son, the Despot, Mike Brown;

Introduction

WE, the members of the Who Dey Revolution, in our fervent dedication to the Cincinnati Bengals and fanatical desire to transform our hometown team into perpetual Super Bowl contenders, call for a popular revolution of fans to demand comprehensive reform to the managerial decisions and approach of Cincinnati Bengals ownership, management, staff and players, and hereby call for the adoption of the following Who Dey Revolution Manifesto:

Manifesto Demands

THAT the Mike Brown, Katie Blackburn, Marvin Lewis, along with every other member of the Bengals management, staff and personnel, state publicly to all Bengals fans, “I will do everything in my power to help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl;”

THAT Mike Brown will hire a general manager, drastically expand the scouting department and relinquish all control of player personnel;

THAT all training, rehabilitation and medical facilities are considered best-in-class compared to other NFL teams;

THAT the management fill the team only with players who fit the system, both mentally and physically, and are not reluctant to makes changes to player personnel when needed, regardless of cost or loyalty concerns;

THAT offensive and defensive line depth is considered the top priority for all player personnel decisions;

THAT all decisions made by ownership, management, staff and players, both on and off the field, are judged only by this criterion: “Does this help the Cincinnati Bengals win a Super Bowl?”

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August 20, 2012

Watershed Moments In WDR History: Drew Magary Eviscerates Mike Brown

If you're trolling around on WDR these days, the chances are you already have a good understanding of just how rewarding the internet has made following the NFL in the past few years. After all, we operate at the fringe here at WDR, so if you've stumbled your way onto our site then clearly you've navigated through a lot of internet prior to your arrival. Regardless, I'm going to take a moment to remind everyone how the internet makes this whole NFL thing, which was already absurdly enjoyable, even better than ever.

Remember when you used to actually have to read Paul Daugherty's columns in the actual newspaper in your school library or something? That was great but fuck all that because now I can just go to his blog and literally read his thoughts every day from anywhere at anytime. That is surreal and wonderful. I can do the same thing for Joe Reedy and his blog. I can get commentary and opinion from Doc and facts from Joe basically in real time now...that is tremendous. But that's just local stuff, let's look beyond that.

You know how ESPN slowly morphed into a monopolistic juggernaut that is now simply a 24-hour marketing machine masquerading as a sports coverage and news network? Guess what, you don't need them for anything but watching live sports anymore because anyone who with something useful to say can just write a blog and go direct to their audience. For example, these days, if I want to find out what's going on in the NFL I can just log into Twitter and get updates from x & o's experts like @smartfootball, or legendary film-study guru @GregCosell, or actual former NFL scouts like @MoveTheSticks, or thoughtful statistic driven analysts like @robwein of Football Outsiders or @SamMonson of ProFootballFocus.com.

Which brings us to the point of this post, which is simply to link to one piece written by Drew Magary of Deadspin, KSK, GQ and pretty much everything on the internet at this point. Deadspin and KSK were two enormous pillars of the original foundation for this whole superior way to follow the NFL. So it's extremely satisfying to see Drew's considerable talents in verbal destruction focused on Mike Brown for the first time I can remember.

Have I hyped this up a little too much? Sure. Are we a little late to post this? Sure. But enjoy the piece anyway. Drew also taps into some anger direct from Cincy fans. In fact, the folks he gets to chime in go WAY beyond our own feelings here at WDR.

Here's a quote:

Paul Brown Stadium remains perhaps the ultimate example of a pro sports team building a metaphorical slant drilling company that drinks the milkshake of public schools, parks departments, fire departments, teacher salaries ... anything useful, really. What little county money there is to spend in an economic crisis has been diverted to the absolute LEAST DESERVING HUMAN BEING ALIVE, a man who can't even be bothered to try to field a winning team after being gifted a fucking mint by public officials.

The Bengals looked tonight like a team that will let down the Kool-Aid drinkers this year. They attempted a lot of passes and averaged about 2 or 3 yards per attempt during the time of the game that mattered.

Of course it's preseason so the usual caveats apply. Perhaps it won't matter in two weeks, but tonight the Bengals stunk and the Ravens crushed the Jags.

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