Monday, December 7, 2009

This is Mrs. Grumpy. He didn't want to hear me bitch about my day at the school, and told me to tell you guys. So here.

School nursing brings you an amazing collection of hypochondriacs, and it gets worse with winter break coming and they get restless. So today, besides the usual collection of snotty noses, stomach aches, and "I can't do PE because..." I had this.

27 comments:

Welcome, Mrs. Grumpy! As a substitute teacher, I've witnessed my fair share of student's "medical" problems...my favorite is when one kid goes home because they are legitimately sick and then suddenly everyone in the class starts feeling sick...or when they say their stomach hurts and end up eating their lunch like a horse...kids...meh

Sounds like the teacher didn't have one more shred of patience to figure out what the kiddos issues were.

Thanks for your contribution, Mrs. G.

My sister is a school nurse, but is mainly trying to get out of mandatory participation in shot clinics, as her kids need assistance with feeding tubes, and other bodily functions. Though, it sounds like she's quite busy with diabetes and asthma education, and frostbite prevention.

Hello, Mrs. Grumpy! Nice to hear from you. I am glad you have an outlet here, since Ibee won't let you vent at home. I, for one, would love to hear more from you, and would welcome any guest post you have to share! Welcome!

As a bus driver, I'm most definitely not a nurse, but I get my share of hypochondriacs. See Poop Boy and Puke Girl on my blog. And ALWAYS I get the inevitable, "Ms Bus Driver!!! I'm BLEEDING omgzorz!!!!"

Of course upon inspection its a teeny tiny scratch or small red bug bite they scratched a bit too much.. OR absolutely nothing but fakeitis. I hand them a paper towel and tell them to go sit down. Honestly half the time I'm too busy to stop the bus to wrestle with the first aid kit just to get a darned band-aid only to have them leave the trash all over my bus seats, that its simply not worth the hassle, they'll be home in 10 minutes anyhow. My common response to that is "Here's a paper towel, tell your mom when you get home."

I work in a middle school, and our school nurse had to assess a student who was "unconscious". The student was sitting in her chair, upright, and wouldn't open her eyes. When the school nurse tried to open the eye, the student squeezed her eyes shut harder. It was such a disruption, that the principal decided to call an ambulance. The school nurse just about had a conniption with that one.

Ohh... I was that kid with the bump on their finger. NOT kidding. It was my index finger and I was seriously worried for a good 2 weeks that it was something bad. My parents just blew it off; I understand why now...

Back in the day I used to work as a school custodian on the evening shift. I'd come in at 2pm...right after lunch which was followed by recess. Just what kids need... to wolf thier lunch down then shake it up in thier stomachs for 30 minutes so they could (inevitably 2-3 days a week it seemed) throw it up just as I walked in the door.

Oh happy days!

Hang in there! Nothing like being a babysitter to someone else's children for 8 hours a day only to have them tell you you make too much money as a teacher and have them vote down referendums :) and watch your peers get laid off. THEN the parents get mad because the district can only afford 7 hours of class a day and thier "free" babysitting is gone! Funny, you'll end up spending it one way or the other, why not on quality education?

Teaching is an awful profession not because of the kids. But because of thier parents (and yes, I know, it totally rubs off)

Mrs. Grumpy, I used to be one of those kids. I hate to admit to it, but it's true.

I used to ask to go to the nurse for both valid and non valid reasons. But, I have to say that I did so because I needed to get away from the kids that would pick on me and torment me. So I don't feel to bad about trying to save myself some heartache.

I hate sending kids down to the nurse in the middle of class, but at my school we have been told to let them go to the nurse when they ask to go. I don't ask why; I just sign their pass so I can continue teaching the rest of the class.

Welcome Mrs. Grumpy!!! I have lived both worlds, both as RN and teacher. And I swear if I ever had to go back to work at school, I would be polishing up my french-frying skills for employment at McD's. You can't pay me enough money to enter the realm of academia, and I suspect school nursing brings to the table the WORST of both worlds.

And we know you have a sense of humor because you are, of course........Mrs. Grumpy!!

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

Singing Foo!

Have Dr. Grumpy delivered automatically to your Kindle for only 99 cents a month! Sign up here!

Dr. Grumpy is for hire! Need an article written (humorous, medical, or otherwise) or want to commission a genuine Grumpy piece for your newspaper/magazine/toilet paper roll? Contact me to discuss subjects. You can reach me at the email address below, or through my Linked-In profile.

Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.