tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42174974395003984462018-03-06T04:46:23.961-05:00sleep consumes my being.this barren tenebrous illusion holds no meaningthoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.comBlogger75125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-51582523582189478642014-01-20T16:54:00.000-05:002014-01-20T16:54:10.312-05:00So I spent days searching the internet for articles or blog posts or quotes or photos about being single. I have been single many times throughout my life, but not single when I didnt want to be. Let me make myself a little more clear. I am still in love with my ex, but we live 2500 miles apart from each other and I'm afraid once we live in the same city again he won't want me. It's a tough realization and a scary thought to have that the man I want to be with for the rest of my life doesn't find it convenient and doesn't want to be with me when we're far away. Isn't it supposed to be natural to want to see someone or want to talk to someone or go out of your way to be with the person you love? Maybe he's not the one for me, or maybe the timing is off, but I just look back to our year and a half together, our apartment, our drive across the country, and we never fought. Sure, we bickered, but we always smiled and laughed it away. But now, only time will tell what will happen. But the thing is, if he wants to get back together with me, why should I when he doesn't want me now. Technically, he doesn't deserve someone who cares about him as much as I do. But I want to be with him. Whhhhhhhy is love so confusing. Is this love? asldkfj I don't even know anymore. thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-1536806211783743482013-06-09T23:50:00.001-04:002013-06-09T23:53:10.790-04:00Who Am I?I'm pretty sure I've always been a hippie at heart. There I was, growing up on a farm in a small town. And now here I am, a university student staying in LA for the summer for an internship with one of the top casting companies in LA. So amazing how far I have come, and so amazing how much farther I plan on going. <br/><br/>A little about me and why I believe I'm a hippie at heart. For one, I do not kill flies, spiders, bugs, ants, cockroaches (they frighten me), or ant hills. If they are just minding their own business and not bothering me, then whatever. Let them live. <br/><br/>I am mostly vegetarian with my occasional slip up of unread ingredients in products from names I can't pronounce (which I am trying to be more careful about) and the occasional bite of sushi (yum. sorry.) <br/><br/>Here I am, using No-Poo and loving it. And then I get on pinterest and find research that no-poo isn't that great for your scalps pH levels. So I'm going to try a new recipe using coconut oil and pure aloe vera gel for shampoo and continue using the apple cider vinegar to balance pH and condition the ends. <br/><br/>And another thing... <br/><br/>I've always known that trans fat and aluminum lead to cancer and increases the risk of alzheimer's disease. Guess what's in my deodorant? I don't use just any deodorant. I use either dove or secret's clinical strength. The $12 per 4 or 5 oz of pretty much aluminum to stop the anti-perspiring. But I don't have an sweat problem. I can't find a product that I like that stops the odor. Until this same website! The ultimate hippie woman! I would pretty much summarize what she said, but here's her link http://thankyourbody.com/homemade-deodorant/ <br/><br/>So this week I will buy the products, maybe even tonight if my boyfriend gets back in time! <br/><br/>I'm transforming, but not really. I believe everyone needs to know what they are putting into their bodies. Do your research and beat cancer to the ground! You are what you eat, and you are what you put onto your body.thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-27287986509642645142013-06-09T22:03:00.000-04:002013-06-09T22:03:40.897-04:00LA Pride ParadeIt was so much fun! I loved seeing all of the support that the LGBT community has, both from the LGBT community and straight. However....I am not happy at all with the christians/religious protesters. Like really? You can't let them have one day? I almost started crying. How can one group of people believe that they are better than others. They say they are trying to spread the word of God and "save the gays" but they are mean and raining on their parade! I did smile, though, when I saw a group of lgbt supporters walking back and forth in front of the bigots with huge rainbow colored flags so the protesters couldn't really see the parade...but still! Those flag holders didn't get to enjoy the parade! Come on, people! Let others do what they want. They aren't harming you! They don't vote on whether or not you're allowed to get married! So why should it even be up to a vote for them? They are human. Let them live this short life on earth the way they want to!thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-75394179547296556992013-06-06T15:40:00.001-04:002013-06-09T23:53:25.378-04:00No Poo day 3So it's been 3 days since I've washed my hair (I shower daily still, mind you). <br/><br/>This 3rd day is prett-ay prett-ay pretty gross. Can't wait to scrub it with some baking soda and vinagaaaa!thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-14273503231422705942013-06-06T15:39:00.002-04:002013-06-09T23:53:47.166-04:00Update on famous people in LA!Finally! <br/><br/>I saw Courtney Cox Arquette. And, being the Larry David/Curb your enthusiasm fan that I am, I so wanted to yell out my window: MONICA!! Not because I'm psycho and/or a fan, but just because I'm sure she gets that ALL of the time. <br/><br/> And I've seen her recently on tv and she is disgusting and old and bony looking. <br/><br/>NOT in real life. She was absolutely gorgeous! Really thin, too, but not like anorexia, scary thin. <br/><br/><br/>Side note, there are no fat people in LA. I saw maybe one. But that was on Hollywood Blvd so that doesnt count. (she most likely was a tourist) thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-51472957160645625732013-06-02T02:30:00.001-04:002013-06-09T23:54:37.105-04:00So in LA I have met a total of 2 famous people. And neither one of them count... <br/>1. Nigel Olsson <br/> Better known as Elton John's Drummer. <br/>Why doesn't he count? I'm dating his nephew. <br/><br/>2. Jon Favreau <br/> Really famous comedian/actor/writer/director <br/>Why doesn't he count? It was at work and we never got introduced because I'm only an intern.thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-86443071421903885722013-06-02T02:27:00.001-04:002013-06-02T02:27:31.409-04:00Week one of No Poo ShoweringSo Here We Have It Folks I washed my hair on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Monday was great! I ended up straightening my hair because I'm retarded. Tuesday my hair was good toooooo. It looked like a second day hair though :/ Wednesday wasn't necessary to wash but I wanted to put beach spray in my hair and make it wavy so I ended up washing it. Not really a fan with the beach spray mixing with the no-poo trend...My hair appeared darker and felt heavier/partially greasy. Thursday I only washed it to get rid of the waviness from the day before. Things went well. Friday my hair was gorgeous! Couldn't even tell it was second day! I had to wash my hair on saturday because I went to the gym and my hair was definitely greasy even before the gym. But now my hair is still greasy after washing so I might have to add a little bit more baking soda to the squeeegee bottle and see if that helps it. On to week 2! thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-66286660877422883222013-05-27T14:11:00.001-04:002013-06-09T23:55:20.485-04:00No Poo JournalSo here's to day one, well, pretty much day 2 since I had to buy the materials and prep my shower for this new change. That's right. I'm gonna try out The No-Shampoo trend. <br/><br/>I usually have veryyyy dry brittle hair (atleast that's what I think) so I wanted to see what this trend is about and how my hair can be in its most natural state. I even read some articles where women just wash their hair with water! crazy. <br/><br/>So anyways. <br/><br/>I used 1 tablespoon of baking soda mixed with one cup of water, poured into a squeeze bottle from target. Thats the "shampoo" replacement. You then use a couple tablespoons of apple cider vinegar mixed with a cup of water, put this in a spray bottle (also bought from target). <br/><br/>So you know, just wash like normal. Put the baking soda concoction all up in your roots and scrub..this is sort of a slippery feel..not really a lather..but you can tell that it's not just water, that it's cleaning. Rinse thoroughly. Then spray the vinegar combo in your hair, but not on your roots. Continue to wash your body and face with soaps and stuff and then rinse out your hair. <br/><br/>Comb, blow dry. I then put keratin oil throughout the ends of my hair. <br/><br/>And I must say, not too bad for the transition phase. A litttttttle frizzy/potentially greasy feeling...but not too bad! I think that since I've been using the keratin complex from organix so since that was a sulfate and silicone free shampoo, it's only going to take a few washes to when my hair reaches its "natural" point. <br/><br/>So excited!! thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-17174585400960973802013-05-01T13:16:00.001-04:002013-05-01T13:16:05.455-04:00got an interview to work on eastbound & down costume PA. whatttttttttttttttthoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-22626061740670069262013-04-30T21:46:00.001-04:002013-06-09T23:56:10.018-04:00I'm not one who would consider myself lucky. Until recently. Somehow I feel like fate is finally intervening. I believe that I am kind and maybe my hatred that I feel inside is jealousy for all of these people around me having things handed to them. But I have always heard the greater reward is by earning things yourself. Here is what has been happening lately: <br/><br/>1- Got a message from a girl asking if I could cater in her place (a job that I've been wanting for a whole year) <br/>2- Made over 250 in just 4 nights of working at said catering company <br/>3- Finding $10 while walking my boyfriends dog <br/>4- Every scratch off I win something (nothing more than $5 but still) <br/>5- I GOT AN INTERNSHIP WITH SARAH FINN CASTING COMPANY for the summer. <br/>6- The internship is literally 3 miles from ashleys apartment <br/>7- I received a $1000 stipend? scholarship? from AMPAS. <br/>8- Ashleys uncle basically got us a gym membership for a steal <br/>9- Rachelle gave me a bag of her really nice clothes fooorrr free <br/><br/>I'm sure a lot more has been happening around me lately and I would hate to jynx anything but wow. this is happiness. The little things you get when you are so used to being told good things and having them taken away. But not this time. I feel like this karma or whatever you may call it is here to stay. Please stay?thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-53776067533353717942012-10-29T10:24:00.001-04:002012-10-29T10:24:11.691-04:00<iframe src="http://numsum.com/spreadsheet/show_plain/127862" width="100%" height="300"></iframe>thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-34261248476376448532011-08-30T07:37:00.001-04:002011-08-30T07:37:20.496-04:00unfair<br /><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: url(http://assets.tumblr.com/images/input_bg.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: 50% 0%; background-repeat: repeat no-repeat; color: black; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.4; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 12px; margin-right: 12px; margin-top: 8px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">death seems to be all around me. how is it that i've been able to pick up all the pieces and live with it when some others can't handle anything. when will i reach that point of devastation? with my fathers, grandmothers, best friends dad, other best friends mom, many classmates parents, and now hearing my grandfather has decided to accept death, to give up, to discontinue his chemotherapy treatments and is currently lying in a hospital bed in the ICU in brazil? i think ive reached that point. My chest feels hollow.</div>thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-43639533789047977102011-07-17T18:15:00.002-04:002011-07-17T18:15:56.320-04:00what?really?!i need to get off the computer. depressed by reading/seeing on facebook how two of my friends are engaged just todaythoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-55107271171015183412011-07-07T17:36:00.013-04:002011-07-10T11:59:39.615-04:00Collection<div class="MsoNormal"><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">Kicking, thrashing,&nbsp;<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">She's become lost<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">gripped in between the claws of life .<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">The monotonous drone of the swell<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">breaks routinely, incessantly.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">A spectacle of white and green, lures her under<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">Which,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">Lulls her into a peaceful slumber.</span><br /><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">The beauty of it all<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">engulfs, carries,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">And caresses the stone in her core.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">It replaces the emptiness and fear;</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">It evades her of all unease.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">The ache is inevitable and she<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">Anticipates<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">Its return.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">Her throat begins to tighten<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">And constrict. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">The feeling of security is now a foreign concept.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">She’ll never see him<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">Again<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">The salinity from her eyes fades into the depths of <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">the unknown, <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">combines with the brine.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">They too,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">have left her.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">A collection of memories most valuable in the world,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">Floats away.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">She wishes she could collect those tears<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span><br /><span style="color: #262626; font-family: Georgia;">And build another him.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></div></div>thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-13284263075478491732011-06-19T15:28:00.002-04:002011-06-19T15:37:32.626-04:00wantingYet still, each tedious wave crashes upon the shore.<br />it provides a sense that life goes on with or without you.<br />But, tell me, why doesn't anyone ask for more?<br /><br />Day in and day out I'm lying on the floor<br />scribbling down a line about life or two.<br />Yet still, each tedious wave crashes upon the shore<br /><br />It's all an endless, useless bore.<br />It's as if everything was set to its own cue.<br />But, tell me, why doesn't anyone ask for more?<br /><br />Why must life appear to be a list of chores?!<br />I need enjoyment. I need fulfillment. Would I find that with you?<br />Yet still, each tedious wave crashes upon the shore.<br /><br />Be forewarned, what if nothing lies beyond the door?<br />You're stuck without a clue<br />But, tell me, why doesn't anyone ask for more?<br /><br />I feel a longing for belonging deep in my core.<br />What if it's too late, what if there's nothing left to do?<br />Yet still, each tedious wave crashes upon the shore.<br />But, tell me, why doesn't anyone ask for more?thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-59951337901134261172011-06-18T01:56:00.002-04:002011-06-19T15:30:06.931-04:00Biggest FearLightning&nbsp;fast&nbsp;the days they pass and&nbsp;turn and&nbsp;whip and&nbsp;I yearn&nbsp;I'm searching for my reason, my will, my passion.&nbsp;No one knows why the days<br />they fly by.<br />Can someone, anyone,&nbsp;you there, please catch me.&nbsp;The ground's about to hit<br />my feet.<br />I'm falling&nbsp;I'm leaping.<br />Gravity!<br />I'm challenging you.&nbsp;The wind whispers secrets to my ears.&nbsp;I'm listening intently yet I hover with<br />no answers.<br />Colors fade<br />with the passing of time and brighten<br />when i see you smile.<br />take that gravity.thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-65326022997906424092011-02-01T11:31:00.019-05:002011-06-19T15:48:23.622-04:00Ode to Bittersweet Farms<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The day begins here:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when the rooster's crow echoes off the mountains in the distance, saying hello and&nbsp;good mornin' to the sun.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I stretch and yawn, and find my way to the kitchen, lead by my mother's voice, "C'mere,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">breakfast is done."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I skip, gallop, and run through the moistened grass<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">towards the winding brush creek.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I whip through the trees and leap through the rocks, pass<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">through the water, and examine cool shaped stones and crawdads that reek.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The distant distinct cries of the month old babies,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">after being taken from their mother, the longing ache of the heifer's heartbreaking shriek<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">makes me furious at my father and drives him crazy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But soon, as the calves grow tired and older, my complaints grow unnoticed and weak.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The garden full of roses and vegetables&nbsp;</span></span><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">mix</span></span><br /><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">with the powerful stench of the fresh manure.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Down yonder and around the bend is where we set up our picnics,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">baskets full of invigorating fruits and homemade meals that draw such sweet allure.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why must the day end, and with it, the brilliant sun always set?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish the colors would last; the reds, the oranges, the pink and yellow hues....<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll say goodbye again, and I mustn't forget<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">that&nbsp;I'll see them soon.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Supper is made as we gather 'round the kitchen table.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We share with each other our thoughts, laughter, and ideas<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">as we begin and end each day feeling like we're able<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">to do anything that our heart desires throughout all ages.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rainy days were the days that I preferred;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My body didn’t tremble with each intense strike of lightning in the purple-esque sky.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Aside from new life, rain also taught me that the angels were moving their furniture, with each roll of the thunder.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I felt comfort in the confines of my tin roof house and the tattering of raindrops that tingled gently made me sigh.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As the days turn to weeks, then months, and inevitably, years;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">everything must change, life must go on.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My father, my dad, my daddio is always near,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Laid to rest upon that hill, overlooking every river bend, sunrise, sunset, cattle cry, and each mowed lawn.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 18.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Again, life must go on in this bittersweet life,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #262626;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">on this Bittersweet Farm.</span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><o:p></o:p></span></div>thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-5623679785889910282011-01-25T11:03:00.000-05:002011-01-25T11:03:14.866-05:00sonnet attempt, mix of shakespearean and petrarchanmen<br /><br /><br /><br />You are mine. Forever and always<br />I'll be by your side,<br />until the end of days.<br />Tell me all your secrets; confide<br />in me, believe in our love,<br />for it will last for perhaps eternity;<br />you must have been sent from up above.<br />Darlin' of mine, don't ever leave me.<br /><br />Baby, I forgot your name...<br />but don't you fret!-<br />I'm not one to play any games,<br />(if you're willing to bet.)<br />Honey, my love for you is true,<br />however, this is meant for another, but for now, you'll do.thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-88390448791925814272011-01-20T11:32:00.000-05:002011-01-20T11:32:09.224-05:00the spy--the attempt of a villanelleThis hunger is the writhing, insatiable thirst of men.<br />There is no escape;<br />It's always sneaking in.<br /><br />It pulses through my veins and the blood of my kin,<br />My mind is left agape,<br />This hunger is the writhing, insatiable thirst of men.<br /><br />Power is a sin--<br />a sin that haunts everyone in its wake;<br />It's always sneaking in.<br /><br />There are no limits of where its been.<br />There's nothing left to take.<br />This hunger is the writhing, insatiable thirst of men.<br /><br />Failure is unacceptable within.<br />Everything is at stake.<br />It's always sneaking in.<br /><br />No one lends a helping hand.<br />A void, an abyss, an emptiness shake, shake, shake.<br />This hunger is the writhing, insatiable thirst of men;<br />It's always sneaking in.thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-81083492742809185522011-01-12T13:17:00.001-05:002011-01-12T13:20:23.320-05:00louise gluckThe white rose<br /><br /><br /><div class="MsoNormal">This is the Earth? Then<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I dont belong here.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Who are you in the lighted Windows,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">shadowed now by the flickering leaves<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">of the wayfarer tree?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Can you survive where I wont last<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Beyond the first summer?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">All night the slender branches of the tree<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">shift and rustle at the bright Windows.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Explain my life to me, you who make no sign,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Though I call out to you in the night:<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I am not like you, I have only <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">my body for a voice; I cant <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">disappear into silence—<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">And in the cold morning<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">over the dark surface of the Earth<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">echoes of my voice drift,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">whiteness steadily absorbed into Darkness<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">as though you were making a sign after all<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">to convince me you too couldnt survive here<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">or to show me you are not the Light I called to<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">but the blackness behind it<o:p></o:p></div>thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-85981718856186856372011-01-12T10:00:00.000-05:002011-01-12T10:00:42.930-05:00aaahfresh start to a fresh semester. walked a bit over a mile today just so i could go to breakfast with my new roomie annnnd walked her to her first class, i feel like a mother haha :) although, i couldnt help but laugh when kara slipped on the ice, poor thing haha!! It's so cold here, even the sand is frozen. I dont feel like writing much, so here's some brain candy:<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/tear-it-down/<br /><br />enjoy ;)thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-44146684214483230462010-12-31T12:08:00.000-05:002010-12-31T12:08:06.339-05:00this may seem crazyHave you ever seen the 6th sense? Do you remember the scene where the boy is laying on the bed and says something like when the hair on the back of your neck stands up, thats "them"?<br /><br />Well last night, I had just turned off the light in my room and had laid down to sleep on my side facing the wall. All of a sudden, I felt pressure on my shoulder; it felt like my hair was standing up, but I could still feel a movement of pressure on my shoulder.<br />I tensed up a bit, but I'm used to these occurrences.<br />Then, I felt the same strange thing on my cheek, almost like a stroking.<br />Then, I felt something in my hair, my language is too vague to describe the feeling, but it felt as if someone ran their hands thru my hair.<br />I just laid there until I had to turn on the light because it was so strange.<br />I told myself, well, maybe its my dad?...I'm not so sure. I remember praying to God about my Dad, that I thought it strange that he never appeared as a ghost or did anything strange because we always were obsessed with the possibility of the paranormal.<br />Hmmm..usually I'm terrified of paranormal activity (tehehehe) but I reminded myself of my prayer and sort of smiled.<br />Does that make me crazy? or gullible?thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-57188622902620327972010-12-30T22:57:00.002-05:002010-12-30T23:04:09.719-05:00portuguese, shmortuguese..rated r-for riskydamn....<br />just.dammmn<br /><br />How can you understand almost all of a language, but can't put words together to speak?<br />Am i just lazy? oooor american? or ashamed?<br />I love seeing my family and my friends. I want to be myself, but I feel restricted. I remember a quote from pasley's room that says, "The limits of my language stand for the limits of my world," by Ludwig Wittgenstein<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span></span>Amazing how true that is.<br /><br /><br /><br />Tipo assim, it's like this...Quick example/lesson<br />Take the verb, Ficar<br />now literally, ficar means to stay<br />but every language has teenagers, so, entao, every language has juiras, or slang.<br />Ficar, means the same thing as "talking" in english slang.<br />Now, when you talk to someone, that could mean talking generally, or kissing, or casually having to buy condoms, and typically being non exclusive, meaning you can do the same with multiple people...ew.<br />BUT BEWARE.<br />One slip of the tongue with Ficar, if you say Fincar, it means to have somewhat of a hard rough sex.<br />So if you wanted to say "Ah lets 'talk' " in portuguese, but you added an extra N in there somewhere...ahahhaha then thatd suck for you, or maybe not, depending on your uhh, may i say, harlett-ness.<br /><br />one more thing before i leave you<br />I forgot the word, but pussy and stalker is the same word in portuguese.....por que?thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-82195434569575106052010-12-26T23:12:00.002-05:002010-12-26T23:12:28.160-05:00random bit of goodness i found on my computer<!--StartFragment--> <br /><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Oversleeping is always a good thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp; </span>Because every time I partake in snoozing through my alarm I find that something great always comes of it. Like this non fat mochaccino…I think that’s what they called it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><!--EndFragment-->thoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4217497439500398446.post-23884518368251681422010-12-25T23:03:00.002-05:002010-12-26T14:35:10.331-05:00nostalgICKThats how I feel today<br />Ive moved around so much in my life that the road feels like my home.<br />Thats what I truly miss; being able to start new, start fresh.<br />I'm in my aunts house in Brazil, and this is where i spent 7 months of my life in complete nostalgia, so of course, that is what I am feeling now. But why? I'm only here for a week.<br />I am re-reading the giver and its about feeling different, apart, distinct.<br />Is that how I feel?<br />not sure...<br />I think ill stick to nostalgicthoughtshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10402285202443788294noreply@blogger.com0