Iain Gray Freelance Writer

Terrible film - great tagline

Following the sad news of Roy Scheider’s death, I was perusing his body of work on IMDb when I stumbled across a forum thread for Jaws 2.

It asked the question: was the tagline for the film “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water” the best ever?

Some people agreed, whilst others replied with alternative suggestions, such as Alien - “In space, no-one can hear you scream” and Jurassic Park “An Adventure 65 Million Years In The Making”. Add my personal favourite from The Wild Bunch into the mix - “Nine men who came too late and stayed too long...” - and it quickly becomes clear that there can never be a “best” tagline (in pretty much the same way that there can never be a “best” film).

Then someone posted “Size does matter” from the Godzilla marketing campaign. Great tagline, absolutely god-awful film. And come to think of it, Jaws 2 was no masterpiece either.

So this got me thinking: What is the best tagline wasted on the worst film?

Here are my five favourites.

Shogun Assassin
Revenge is a dish best served cold. And death is very cold indeed.

One Missed Call (2008 crappy American remake of Japanese horror)
What will it sound like when you die?

Plan 9 From Outer Space
Unspeakable Horrors From Outer Space Paralyze The Living And Resurrect The Dead!

Ape (1976)
Not to be confused with KING KONG

Highway to Hell (which has no less than four great taglines - they really should have got the guy who wrote these to work on the script)
If there’s one thing worse than dying and going to Hell, it’s not dying - and going to Hell.
Where the toll is your soul.
The cops on this road don’t take you to jail… They take you to HELL.
The devil has met his match and it’s a ‘48 Ford.