idk it probably is from my 30 pound backpack but it is starting to feel better but it is so boring cause my girlfriend doesn't want to be bugged on the weekend and i can't ride my bike or nothing physical at all it really sucks. all i want is for it to be Tuesday already so i can hang out with her. i am always depressed at home be cause my mom's brain is basically shrinking and gets mad at me for no reason and today she told me that every thing i do gets screwed up and that she is tired of me. i shouldn't let it get to my head but it hurts every time she says stuff like that. sometimes i feel like killing myself i know its not healthy but my dad doesn't help much and neither do the school counselors. the only time i feel truly happy is when i am with my girlfriend and it helps to just talk about it. it seems like i am not wanted anymore, I'm always so depressed at home. the only thing that remotely helps is my computer or guitar hero. so yea this kinda helped a little.

I'm really sorry to hear that you are feeling down. You can always express yourself on here if you need to.

Can't you reduce the weight of your back-pack a bit. It shouldn't be making you ill!

As for your Mum, maybe she's going through a bad patch. Sometimes Mums say things, without realising the effects they might have on the kids. Try not to let it get you down. She probably doesn't mean any of it.

Remember, grown-ups are just kids who have got older. They make mistakes; they say silly things, etc. Of course, they have more experience, so I'm not saying that kids should ignore their parents, but simply that, if they say things that sound uncaring, it may just be thoughtlessness ~ in the same way that other kids can be thoughtless at times. There is no law that says adults must be perfect ~ and most aren't!

Yes, you are right that it certainly isn't healthy to think about killing yourself ~ but teenagers do get depressed because of their age ~ hormones etc ~ and this makes them very emotional & they become sensitive and respond to things differently from most children & adults. Things will get better ~ but if you seriously think of self-harming, do please tell your counsellor, or a trusted teacher or relative!! This is very, very important.

I promise you that many things that may seem really bad now, will not seem so bad when you look back later, so try to be positive. And please tell your counsellor about your worries, about any times when you have thought of hurting yourself, etc. He or she is there to support you. Don't you find him/her very helpful?

You sound like a nice, thoughtful & caring person, so think good thoughts and look forward to a good happy future.

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"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

it really doesn't help that my dad antagonizes my mom to get her angry and then she takes her anger out on me this has been happening for at least three years now my mom is yelling at me for being on my computer my comfort object. no matter how much i tell her that it relaxes me to be on it she hates all of my technology and doesn't believe me that my back is hurting me. and there is nowhere i can go to clear my head in this small town. this really helps me vent my feelings without being judged. i really an a caring guy and can't stand the thought of hurting other people but me i never have hurt myself yet but i am afraid that i will soon and i can't talk to the counselors because they are really busy try to get kids to pick classes for next year. the only thing keeping me sane are the few friends i have. I'm just going through alot. i really hate the weekends now cause i get so depressed i rarely feel happy at home and when i do it is just for a brief moment. i really don't know what to do it is just really hard to have a mom that is mentally sick that can't be fixed. like she gets mad at me for no reason at all. this doesn't happen just on rare occasions but all the time. i am not doing good in school any more although i try. i just want everything to go away sometimes so i can just be alone. but my mom is always home cause she can't drive. i feel like i have been given a really big burden that can't be passed on to someone else. sorry if i repeat myself but i can't believe how happy i get when i just sit next to my girlfriend if only i could feel like that all the time. thanks for reading this i know it is long but it makes me feel wanted by someone.

You know, I think that changing your user-name to something more positive could be good!

Thinking positive can help ~ not always , I know, but the more negativity you put forward the more negative you are likely to feel, whereas, if you concentrate on the good things, you are more likely to feel better.

As for counsellors, yes, I suppose they do have to sort exams out, etc, but, if you are feeling really down, and worried about hurting yourself, then they would certainly want to know. Have a quiet chat with one you get on with and say that you really need to talk to them about something serious that is worrying you.

If you know that your Mum has mental health problems, then that must be hard for you, but at least you know that she can't help her outbursts, so try to be objective, even though it is difficult for you. It's probably hard for your Dad, too.

When I was suffering from depression, it was really hard on my husband & my child. At least my husband knew why I was as I was, but my little boy didn't and I still feel guilty about that, even though he has now grown up and forgotten all about it.

Try not to let your school work suffer. It can be an outlet for you & a way to get on when you are older.

It's good that you have friends ~ some people don't and it is very hard for them.

Do you like reading? It is possible to really escape into a good book ~ it would give you a break from the computer as well, and it could be educational. You could even get a book on being positive, etc. I really like some of those self-help books.

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"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

thanks for all the help i feels kinda weird that my girlfriend totally ignores me on the weekend but is all over me during the week. its not because her parents because they like me and i have been to her house and don't care if there daughter dates. thats good i guess. if its 8:00 PM in California What time is it in the UK? I'm going to drink some tea and go to bed early. why do you think she ignores me on the weekend? it makes me confused. well Good night.

I don't know, but there may be some good reason. Perhaps she is doing homework, or maybe she thinks that you need space from each other, as well as time together. You will understand each other better as you get to know each other better.

Look after yourself!

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"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.