Category Archives: Weigh In Wednesday

I’m still here! Still here and as of today, no weight loss for the last two weeks. That is to say, I’ve gained, I’ve lost and I’m at exactly the same place I was two weeks ago.

Not sure what is going on with me mentally and emotionally, it’s just a struggle. I haven’t been counting calories and I know that’s why I’m not losing. Why is it such a battle?

I am thankful that I haven’t gained and that things are definitely different in my mind. While I am still struggling at times with binge eating/thinking, it doesn’t last as long, it doesn’t have the same hold on me. I can see myself living life without food being my master.

I just want to get to my goal so I can start maintaining! Ha. Anyway, I continue to get good exercise everyday. The weather has calmed down a bit and isn’t so blazingly hot which helps a lot. I also have some fitness challenge plans that I will be sharing soon.

It’s hard to believe after my extended time “off”, I lost 2 pounds this week. Phew. It feels good to know that taking a break won’t ruin everything.

So that means 13 pounds since the start of June and 15 pounds down from my highest weight. Yay!

People aren’t stopping me in the street and saying how good I look or how much weight I’ve lost, but I know I’m making progress and my body and my mind are changing.

On a side note, I’m making some big, albeit cosmetic changes in my house. They’ve been a long time coming and it feels amazing. Lighter, brighter, more me. Change is a good thing.

I just realized – 13 pounds is what I lost at the beginning of 2013 on the diet competition I did. It’s also what I regained soon after I finished that diet. That four week diet sent me into a bingey, out of control season that lasted for about five months. It took me six weeks and two days to lose 13 pounds this time, but I’m not heading into freaky territory. I’m living a new life, I’m changed and I’m changing.

Down one pound this week. Slow and steady and stay motivated. I am learning so much about myself – my strengths, my weaknesses, my goals and desires for the future.

Because I have not put a time limit on this journey, because I am not on a diet, because this is about changing my mind and not just my body, I have a totally different outlook and reaction to challenges and setbacks. It’s still hard when I only lose one pound in a week, despite that being my goal, but I don’t respond by giving up. There is something that has switched in my mind and I’m not quitting.

There are still so many issues I have with food. It’s ridiculous, but I know that it will change. Like any addiction, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be completely free from compulsion in regards to food, but I do know that in time, it will not consume me. It’s hold on me will lessen and I will be able to enjoy food for its taste, for its power to fuel me and not for its ability to momentarily numb pain or cover emotion.

I’m thankful that one more pound has gone, but mostly I’m thankful for a healthy journey that is changing my life.

Phew – it is hot here! I know it’s not as hot as it is in some other parts of the US, but it’s too hot for me. Especially with no air conditioning. Sigh. I’ll deal with it, but it’s not much fun.

So today, at four weeks and two days into this journey I’ve lost a total of 10 pounds from starting weight and 12 pounds from my highest, non-pregnant weight. That’s two pounds in the last week. I’ve taken probably a week’s worth of days “off” – simply not counting calories. Most have been moderate, a couple of bingey days.

I’m super pleased with my results so far on the scale. I’d like to feel more in the way my clothes are fitting. However, I wasn’t really wearing tight-fitting clothes before I started so it’s not the greatest of indicators – I think I am just anxious to start wearing more of my clothes and I’m not there yet. Of course, trying clothes on or wearing anything other than the minimal basics is not very appealing.

Feeling thankful these days. I very rarely have any stomach or bowel pain anymore. I am sleeping better though the heat makes that tough. I am getting up way too many times in the night because of all the water I’m drinking!

I am happy at the moment to not push myself overly hard with my exercise. I get up at 5:30 am on weekdays and do my stationary bike for 30 minutes on a program that involves a gradual uphill until the last 12 minutes when it starts downhill. When it’s cooler, I have been pushing myself to do 10 miles, but with it being so hot, I do just over 9 miles. When it cools down again, I think I will need to start pushing myself some more.

Two and a half weeks into this journey with half a week “off”, but not crazy off and I’ve lost 6 pounds. I like the idea of saying “released” 6 pounds, but it sounds kind of cheesy. I am determined that there is no going back. My goal is to lose 58 pounds. I’ve lost 6 so that means that if I stick to my goal of an average of 1 pound a week, then one year from now, I will be at my goal weight. Summer will look quite different.

I actually took some time this morning to try on some clothes in my closet. I haven’t lost much, but I know I am feeling more confident, because I actually enjoyed it and am looking forward to trying some new outfits soon.

I do feel the desire to rush things, to lose it all quicker than my plan, but I am also feeling strong.