Friday, January 23, 2015

Saving Amarrian Glory, Part 1

Highsec is fun, but Lowsec is even more fun. It is time to visit our dearest Lowsec shenanigans.

source: www.eveonline.com

There is a reason why I like Amarr ships. I like them not because I dislike Minmatar (although I do), but because almost each Amarr ship has a beautiful design, awesome armor tank, fancy lazors and meaningful names. They don't have foolish names like Brutix, Gubudix or whatever. Each Amarr ship name often carries a philosophical, historical, divine and glorious significance. Just look at CCP Fozzie's T-shirt. (I want one of these T-Shirts. Now.)

Reading these names is like reading an epic story with depth and reputation. Therefore, one cannot let anybody darken that reputation. Encouraged by these thoughts, I was once again flying my Maller in the ominous vastness of Amarr lowsec.

Source: Thomas Elite / eveonlineships.com

During my travels in space, I was of course refreshing D-Scan very regularly, and some Omen was appearing on scan results. Whenever you see a ship on D-Scan in Lowsec, it is important to understand who that ships corresponds to in Local chat.

At that moment, besides my corp mates, there was Edau Skir in Local. Most probably, he was the Omen. The 5 degree scan result was showing that he was either in Belt III-1 or III-2. What was he doing there? Ratting maybe. I did the usual Show Info, Biography and Employment History check on Edau Skir.

However, sometimes the character Biography alone explains everything.

A ganker-aspirant? In our lands? Why, hello there. Besides his peaceful face expression, Edau Skir seemed to be another brain-washed heretic who was just lost in our lands. His Biography was filled with worthless and irrelevant statements like "Halaima Code of Conduct", "mining permit", "recruiting rights" and "agent". Disgusting. Moreover, he was darkening the glorious honor of the Omen by flying it with a "mining permit". Something had to be done. Individuals like Edau Skir are never seen as a sane type of capsuleer.

Edau Skir had the chance to warp away before we warp on him. After all, he had all the tools required: Local, which was showing like 7 flashy pirates and D-Scan results with mostly cruiser-size ships. Anyone who regularly makes use of these two simple tools can drastically increase the chance of survival. It is important to respect a capsuleer who checks D-Scan, Local and pays attention to his surroundings. Since there were two possibilities, I warped to belt III-1 while my friend warped to belt III-2. Much to my surprise, I landed on top of the Omen which, judging from its unaware pilot, was more like holding a "Kill Me!" sign rather than a "Mining Permit". "Il est la, dans trois-un, trois-un!" I said on comms. ("He's here, in three-one, three-one"). A counter-permit task force started warping to the area to cleanse the historical and glorious cruiser haunted by Edau Skir.

Edau Skir should have bought a ganking permit instead of meaningless things like "mining permit" which is now doomed forever. Another brain-washed heretic was driven from our lands. It could be said that the spirit of Anti-Ganking had combined with Amarrian glory. 10 days later, another hopeless case appeared. The person concerned, kapten sortebil, was very similar to those angry, rude and clueless guys who like to talk big without acting successfully (just like those angry carebears who appear in channels like Anti-Ganking, Mining. the kind of people that many people like to confuse the real anti-gankers with).

In fact, the first round of Local chat babbling started with another member of his team coming from a wormhole and talking about their willingness to engage in an arena type, fair, "all-equal" fight... in a sandbox like EVE. [ 2014.10.27 22:47:24 ] Vertnormalia > you lowsec guys want a fight?﻿[ 2014.10.27 22:47:27 ] Vertnormalia > 5v5?﻿[ 2014.10.27 22:47:36 ] Vertnormalia > or 4v4 whatever﻿[ 2014.10.27 22:47:49 ] Vertnormalia > or you too scared?Vertnormalia wanted equal, honorable and a fair fight. He was quick to accuse us of being too scared.

Source: www.eveonlineships.com

About half an hour later, Vertnormalia's friend in a Paladin (Amarr marauder) finally arrived and started spewing empty words in Local.

[ 2014.10.27 23:11:27 ] kapten sortebil > you guys are such scrubs

kapten sortebil directly warped to the station undock at 0 while we were already planned, coordinated and ready to undock so that we can fulfill the fair fight dreams of his brethren. Upon landing at the undock, he directly and foolishly engaged a neutral and caught suspect status as he continued to express his bold claims. He was really trusting his Paladin. He was aspiring to become a glorious one man army who can ignore his team and sit at the undock to kill everything while "taking a shit" on the doorstep...

﻿[ 2014.10.27 23:13:12 ] kapten sortebil > I love coming into peoples homes and taking a shit on their doorstep

*2 minutes later*

That was… quick!

All of a sudden, EVE happened. An already-coordinated team composed of ExoHoffmanN, Spok spok, kooozie, Azov Rassau, DaveGur and Nanotech Tazinas suddenly undocked and ambushed this talker in a Paladin even before his buddies in two Guardians and some other cruisers arrived. We pretty much had equal numbers in the system, which was what they wanted, yet kapten sortebil's "team" wasn't that organized. He was quickly liberated from darkening the glory of a Paladin with his bold claims in Local.[ 2014.10.27 23:15:00 ] DaveGur > gg :))﻿[ 2014.10.27 23:15:04 ] Vertnormalia > lmao﻿[ 2014.10.27 23:15:09 ] Nanotech Tazinas > rofl﻿[ 2014.10.27 23:15:11 ] Blake Yanumano > ahah﻿[ 2014.10.27 23:15:56 ] DaveGur > go back to your wh lads bye bye﻿[ 2014.10.27 23:15:57 ] Zuki Ed > roflol

About a minute after the Paladin's explosion, his "team" finally started to land on grid with two Guardians at range. Too late, buddy. Too late.Lesson of the day for the victims:

Use Local and D-Scan.

Pay attention while playing at the undock.

Never underestimate your enemy.

Talk less, do more. Just because you're in a Marauder doesn't mean you're God-like. Think about your actions.

I recommend all carebears to leave Highsec and check out the gameplay of shooting things. Stop mining for a while. EVE space is full of action, surprises and fun content. As long as you're not like Edau Skir or kapten sortebil, you'll be fine. What matters most is the player decision, no matter where you are. It's one freaking merciless sandbox.