14 of the weirdest sex laws from around the world that could land you in prison

If you’re planning a dirty weekend away with bae then our advice would be this – research the laws of whichever country of the world you are going to in order to ensure that your personal kinks won’t land you in the slammer. While most laws around sex are obvious and very necessary, everywhere from the USA and China through to Thailand and, uhh, Birmingham have some more obscure guidelines.

In some places, copulating on a parked motorcycle is a no-no while in others, you can only have sex with Satan if you’re wearing contraception. Some laws don’t even apply to humans – dogs can be done for molesting humans in some parts of the world, apparently.

WeirdSexLaws.com lists all of the known obscure sex laws across the world and we have found 14 that simply blew our minds.

Be warned!

1. London

Don’t go there, girlfriend (Picture: EPA)

It’s illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle. As difficult and dangerous as it might be, a motorcycle in motion might be a different matter (although, probably not). Please never, ever try it.

2. Alabama

Leave them at home (Picture: MikeyGen73/MikeyGen73)

Sex toys are completely illegal in this state. Head to Arizona, where two toys are okay. Any more, and you’re risking prosecution again. Quality over quantity guys!

3. Bakersfield, California

We know it’s difficult to resist but you can not, we repeat CAN NOT, have sex with Satan here unless you’re wearing a condom. So if you fancy giving the D to the Devil, make sure you rubber up.

4. Indiana

Oral sex is totally banned here so don’t be as concerned if you forget your mouthwash.

5. China

Women are not allowed to walk around naked in a hotel room which, for many people, kind of ruins the point of hotel rooms. They can breathe a sigh of relief though; their nudity is at least permitted in the bathroom.

6. Minnesota

It is illegal to have sex with a live fish here, which is a relief. Dead fish, however…

7. Halethorpe, Maryland

You aren’t allowed to kiss for more than a minute in public here so be sure to have an accurate stopwatch if you fancy a bit of PDA with bae. Idaho is a bit more laid back – eighteen minutes is the law breaking line. We’d like to think if you’d reached the passionate heights of necking for eighteen minutes that you’d have moved things to a private room anyway.

8. Hong Kong

A wife is allowed to murder her husband if he cheats on her – but only with her bare hands. Any manner of homicide is apparently fine for the husband’s lover, though. Everyone in EastEnders and Hollyoaks would be facing a death sentence if that came into force here…

9. Georgia

Sex out of marriage is still against the law here so if you and a new lover are looking for a destination for a dirty weekend, rule this one out.

10. Wisconsin

A man is not allowed to fire a gun at the point of his partner’s climax. Killjoys.

11. Birmingham

It is illegal for a man and a woman to get it on on the steps of a church after the sun goes down. Just so you know.

12. Thailand

The fine for a man who has sex with a female dog is higher if the dog is in heat.

13. Minnesota (again)

You can’t sleep naked in Minnesota so do not forget that onesie. And no matter how tiring that post sex glow is, get dressed before you drift off. It’s for your own good.

14. Kentucky

Here, it isn’t just humans who can face penalties for breaking the sexual laws. It is illegal for dogs to molest people. So, if you want to escape your neighbour’s pooch which insists on getting close with your leg, this might be a good place to go to.