Buy Low, Sell High: A Field Guide for Doctors to Make Money in the Pharmaceutical Industry

Dr. Tom Price of our very own Georgia 6th Congressional District has been nominated as Director of Health and Human Services (HHS) for the incoming presidential administration. Not to worry about how he wants to eliminate healthcare for all (which at this point will be not be as easy to do as to wag your tongue about), he wants to get rid of HHS itself!

In any case, maybe Dr. Price thinks doctors have been pushed around long enough and shouldn’t worry about making millions off of their inner knowledge of regulations related to the healthcare and pharmaceutical industries. Heck, the American Medical Association endorsed him, so what’s the big deal? I mean, can we really expect our elected governmental officials to not let commercial bias influence their decision making? And just think how much money he can make! This is better than insider trading. Instead of getting tips from insiders, he is the insider!

Dr. Price didn’t win his most recent election to represent the people of Georgia in the 6th Congressional District by a large margin. In fact 40% voted for someone named Rodney Stooksbury to run against Price and represent them in Congress. However, no one has ever seen Rodney, no one knows who he is and what he represents, and in fact they can’t find a website, picture, facebook page, tweet, or even a picture of him! When reporters went to his house, his neighbors hadn’t even heard of him. All we know about him is that he is 56 years old and a retired aerospace worker or aeronautical.

Does that mean that he came from outer space to save us from Tom Price? Oh, Rodney! Now and in our darkest hour, we pray for you to deliver us from Tom Price and the Trumpians!

If Rep. Price is confirmed as head of Health and Human Services (HHS) not only will he be the boss (yikes!) of those of us who do research with funding from the National Institutes of Health or work for the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) right here in Atlanta, Georgia (that’s the! the one invaded by the zombies!), he will also be leaving open his spot as representative for the 6th congressional district of the State of Georgia. This is a special election, since the good citizens of GA-06 swung from a large majority for Mitt Romney to a bare squeaker for, yes, Hillary Clinton.

This could be one of the most up for grabs races in the country, and the opening of the seat will result in a special election this spring. Which brings us to the crucial question: Where are you Rodney when we need you!

That’s why we printed up these T-shirts!

If we can’t find Rodney, we recommend supporting Richard Keatley for Congress in the 6th Congressional District. Richard is a veteran and an educator, and we think he can win! But in the meantime, a special $100 reward for anyone with information about Rodney Stooksbury’s identity or whereabouts!