Manage Your Anger

How To Make Sure You Never Pull A Mel Gibson

4- Remove yourself

It may not be entirely possible to remove all your anger, but you can remove yourself from the situation. This might not be the smoothest move, but if you’re angry at your girlfriend, your buddy or your boss, it is better to leave and cool off somewhere rather than stooping to violence or nastiness. If you feel anger getting the better of you, minimize the damage by going somewhere to let off some steam. This can prevent a bad situation from spiraling into something worse. It’s a good idea to announce the purpose of your departure; this way it’s clear that you’re not childishly storming off in anger and that you’re attempting to clear your head. This can give you the distance required to assess the situation and your next move.

Some good places to clear your head might be a boxing gym or you could use the energy to run a couple of miles. These activities will burn off far more than the anger you’re feeling. Even if all is not forgiven when you return to the stressful situation, you’ll at least have a whole new perspective on it.

5- Assess your anger

To see anger for what it is, you might have to consider the situation based on its likelihood of reoccurrence: Is it the result of a one-off incident that you'll be able to forget or is it likely to fester and come out in a worse way down the road? Worse still, are you likely to find yourself in the circumstances that gave rise to it again? If it is a one-off incident, it can be buried and forgotten, which may be the easiest and the healthiest way to get around your feelings. There is no need to grapple with the underlying reasons, if you know that the situation was a fluke, a mistake, and that it’s unlikely to happen again. If, on the other hand, the situation will bother you or come up again in the future, you’re going to have to dive in and try to actually solve the situation. This means a talk with the other person involved until the issue is settled. Either way, assessment will force you to consider the true nature of the situation and to deal with it accordingly.

serenity now

Note that most of these tips involve taking ownership of your feelings, and recognizing what really caused them. In doing this, you take a potentially volatile emotion and tame it until it is something manageable. Also, it’s important to make penance for the times when you have caused damage with your anger. If you’ve hurt others or acted in a way that’s less than admirable, it’s often a good idea to apologize and make amends. Doing this ensures that others aren’t festering in their anger toward you.