Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Random Query?

A very general query that keeps coming to my mind whenever somebody talks to me about committments and relationships..When one person is very clear in mind and thought that he/she is not going to marry the other person in any possible way and both have to go ahead and marry what their parents are going to find..then why dont they understand that the relationship/committments should not be continuous or it has to get over now or in some time.... what makes them stay in relationship and committment..aren't they pushing themselves into emotional web ??

You really wanna know what makes them stay in relationship? The answer is that there is always light, a hope at the end of tunnel.

And even if not, you know how they say that you can often find a lover in a friend, but never a friend in a lover. Its true. Sometimes, the other person knows so much about you, that it becomes impossible to separate them from your life.

Then the phrases like "may be we should be just friends" or something like that, turns into a glass splinter and attacks your heart. It hurts, not just in imagination. And its not just in our mind, its soul-hurt, a body hurt, something gets inside us and rips us apart.

But what makes them stay in relationship (or even just contact) is the fear. The other person becomes the better half of you and by the time you realize this, its too late. You become vulnerable. And the fear is not of losing the other person, but yourself. Your existence is in danger. You are dying and all you need is to hear their voice or just make sure that he/she is fine. You become addicted. And it slowly kills you. And even though the wounds may heal one day, the marks stay behind. There is no end, until the person is all eaten or is left all alone crying in the darkness.

I agree slightly with Jas - its the a little hope that keeps ppl still in the relationship. But that hope is from a self-painted picture rather than the reality.

And yes, its somewhere about yourself too. Kind of a denial situation. How could this happen to me kinda feeling. Id like to quote Meredith from Grey Anatomy - De-nial is not just a river but a f*&$@# ocean!!

I too agree with Jas to some extent. It's the hope that keeps the relationship going and then the fear of losing the one you are addicted to, who has become part of your life the way you would have never expected to, is also difficult to handle. But, for how long? Sometimes it's better to accept the reality, even if it bites hard. The sooner, the better. If a relationship has to end at a later point of time, then why not now. The pain will be the same. Later option just gives one some time to come out of the addiction; and face and accept the future. And yes, they push themselves into emotional webs. Maybe this is realized after being caught in the web..