“I
think you can be an honest person and lie about any number of things.”
-- Dan Rather on The O'Reilly Factor, May 15, 2001

‘Corny in Kansas’ Rather-isms

“We could be in for a long night with the Senate battle as tight as a Botox smile.”-- Dan Rather, CBS’s election coverage, November 5, 2002.

“Polls closed one-half hour ago in Arkansas. We can tell you that race is crackling like a hickory fire.”-- Dan Rather, CBS’s election coverage, November 5, 2002.

“A big win for the Republicans, and they’ll be breaking out the longnecks in Republican headquarters in Texas and elsewhere, not to mention the White House itself, although Lesley [Stahl] says they pop the caps only on Dr. Pepper ten, two and four there.” -- Dan Rather, CBS’s election coverage, November 5, 2002.

“Now Florida, that race, that race, the heat from it is hot enough to peel house paint.”-- Dan Rather, CBS News Election Day coverage, November 2000.

“I can hear some people at home saying, ‘Whoa! If the electoral vote count is now what Dan Rather and CBS News says it is, 121 for Bush, 119 for Gore, it seems to me just a few minutes ago Bush had a long lead.’ His lead has evaporated and been melted faster than ice cream in a microwave, what’s happening here?”-- CBS News Election Day coverage, November 2000.

“Now remember Florida is the state where Jeb Bush, the brother of George Bush is the Governor, and you can bet that Governor Bush will be madder than a rained on rooster that his brother the Governor wasn’t able to carry this state for him.”-- CBS News Election Day coverage, November 2000.

“Bush has had a lead since the very start, but his lead is now shakier than cafeteria Jell-O.”-- CBS News Election Day coverage, November 2000.

“Then in Tennessee, now Al Gore may be as cross as a snapping turtle about this Tennessee situation because it’s his home state.”-- CBS News Election Day coverage, November 2000.

“Bush is sweeping through the South like a tornado through a trailer park.”-- CBS News Election Day coverage, November 2000.

“Pennsylvania drops for Gore, 23 electoral votes, and for the first time tonight, mark it, if you’re in the kitchen, Mabel, come back in the front room, 145 for Gore, 130 for Bush, 270 needed win.”-- CBS News Election Day coverage, November 2000.

“His [Gore’s] chances are slim right now, and if he doesn’t carry Florida, slim will have left town.”-- CBS News Election Day coverage, November 2000.

“I have to say, though, and I don’t mean to be flip about it, that I think you are more likely to see a hippopotamus coming running through this room than you are to see Governor Bush appoint Nader to the Cabinet.”-- CBS News Election Day coverage, November 2000.

“Sip it, savor it, cup it, photostat it, underline it in red, put it in the album, hang it on the wall, George Bush is the next President of the United States.”-- Dan Rather, CBS News coverage, election night 2000.

“Charles Schumer is one of the stunners of the night. This race was as hot and squalid as a New York elevator in August.”-- Dan Rather, CBS News coverage, election night 2000.

“The call is just in for the South Carolina Senate race. This was one of the cardiac arrest time races. This thing was nasty enough to gag a buzzard. But it turns out that Fritz Hollings, the veteran Democratic Senator, has held on to win.”-- Dan Rather, CBS News coverage, election night 2000.

“Ken Starr and his people have been working for three to four years, spent more than $30 million, they’ve used dozens if not a hundred or so FBI agents. They may have turned this up, whether you had the Paula Jones case or not. But again maybe not, but again that’s like if a frog had side pockets he’d probably wear a handgun. It didn’t happen that way.”-- Dan Rather, Late Show with David Letterman, February 5, 1998.

“Democrats and Republicans are nervous as pigs in a packing plant over these returns because the polls have closed and we don’t know the results....Now, if you’re in those states where the polls are open, let me encourage you to vote. And of course, if you’re in a state where the polls are closed, let me encourage you not to vote. It’s illegal.” -- Dan Rather, CBS Evening News, November 3, 1998.

“I think you're more likely to see the Pope ride through this room on a giraffe.” -- Dan Rather, on the possibility of a CBS News cable channel, to Philadelphia Inquirer TV writer Gail Shister, February 18, 1997.

“In New Hampshire, closest Senate race in the country, this race between Dick Swett and Bob Smith is hot and tight as a too small bathing suit on a too long car ride back from the beach.”-- Dan Rather, during CBS News’ 1996 election night coverage.

‘Dan in the Hood!’ Rather: “Some days I say ‘Why is he [Clinton] doing that?' or ‘Gosh, can he do it a little better?' But it may be time to, sort of, as you say, chill. We know when it comes to politics and governing, whatever you think of this President, whether you voted for him or not, he can hang -- which is to say he can do it--” Arsenio Hall: “See! See! Dan is deep, ain't he? Dan in the Hood! … I thank you for being here. You're a special guy. And I hope whatever you have is contagious.” -- Exchange on The Arsenio Hall Show, January 28, 1993.

“Mr. Clinton was about as relaxed as a pound of liver.” -- Dan Rather, referring to his earlier interview with Bill Clinton, CBS This
Morning, January 20, 1993.

“If an American inauguration can't bring a lump to your throat and a tear to your eye, if you don't feel as corny as Kansas in August, maybe you need a jump-start and some vitamins.”-- Dan Rather, during inauguration coverage, January 20, 1993.

“Well, in Texas they have a saying: ‘That's a good way for Momma to drive a Cadillac,' which is a way of saying that if you play with one of these things, particularly if you are in a low-water area. I would say, Harry, this morning there must be lot of people who are in that
let's-have-another-cup-of-coffee-and-
not-worry-about-it stage. And I agree with that. That's the stage to be in.”-- Dan Rather with CBS This Morning co-host Harry Smith, as Hurricane Emily approached on August 30, 1993.

“It will be so exciting as to make the wax pop out of your ears.”-- Dan Rather, during CBS News’ 1992 election night coverage.

“I'd like to leave you with the words of that popular, secular, patriotic hymn: ‘Long may our land be bright with freedom's holy light.'” -- Dan Rather, approaching tears at 2 AM EST on election night 1992.

“Now, walking down the red-carpeted staircase, President Bush, President Gorbachev, with Gorbachev's interpreter in between. You can just see at the top of your picture that huge chandelier, almost 4,000 pounds. It's the older sister of all chandeliers.” -- Dan Rather before START treaty signing ceremony, July 31, 1991.

“Stay with CBS now for more news, including: Is there a pall over the mall as holiday shoppers think small?”-- Dan Rather, CBS Evening News, December 2, 1991.

Gorbachev’s Great Eyes
“He has, as many great leaders have, impressive eyes….There's a kind of laser-beam stare, a forced quality, you get from Gorbachev that does not come across as something peaceful within himself. It's the look of a kind of human volcano, or he'd probably like to describe it as a human nuclear energy plant.”-- Dan Rather, quoted in the May 10, 1990 Seattle Times.

“I wouldn't touch that line with a 12-foot pole, which as you know is a pole I reserve for those things that I certainly wouldn't touch with an 11-foot pole.”-- Dan Rather in response to whether he had a favorite candidate for President, election night 1990.

“Let's go down to Texas and let me show you actual votes in and tabulated. This was a race considered so nasty it would gag a buzzard....This race is so close that everybody's having a 4,000-calorie attack down there.”-- Dan Rather, CBS News election night coverage, November 6, 1990.