Quips, quotes from governor’s campaign trail

Louisiana’s four leading candidates for governor might not be as quotable as past loquacious legends like Earl Long or Edwin Edwards, but they’ve already been capable of a few zingers of their own.

Republicans Public Service Commissioner Scott Angelle, Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne and U.S. Sen. David Vitter and Democrat state Rep. John Bel Edwards have already delivered some memorable, if not yet classic, lines.

“They’ve been pretty entertaining even if they aren’t quote-making machines,” said Jeremy Alford, editor of lapolitics.com. “Overall, I think most statewide candidates are more guarded than they used to be compared to classics like Uncle Earl and EWE, but they’ve slipped in some good ones.”

Edwards, whose still delivering one-liners, has some of the most memorable. Among them: “Dave Treen is so slow it takes him an hour and a half to watch ‘60 Minutes’”; and, “The only way I can lose this race is to be caught in bed with a live boy or dead girl.”

“Scott Angelle probably comes closest; maybe it’s because he has that Edwin Edwards’ Cajun personality,” Alford said. “Dardenne is particularly clever and can call on his knowledge of political lore and legend, but I don’t think Vitter gets enough credit for his wit. It’s dry.”

Alford said John Bel Edwards has probably been the most guarded in speeches and exchanges, although his subtle, “David, it is especially nice to see you,” jab at Vitter’s sporadic attendance at forums was a winner.

Gannett Louisiana has compiled a list of the best quips from the campaign trail so far through its own interviews and from other state media.

“Although we may sound differently, I assure you we think alike,” Angelle, who has a distinct Cajun accent, while campaigning in Shreveport

“It can’t hurt,” Angelle said while posing for a photo next to a cardboard cutout of “Duck Dynasty” star Willie Robertson. “He’s got better name recognition than me. If I had Willie and Drew Brees, I think that might put me over the top.”

“Everybody who is somebody, wants to be somebody or thinks they’re somebody has to be here,” said Dardenne at state Sen. Francis Thompson’s annual Legislative Dove Hunt reception.

“Those of you who admire Sen. Vitter and like his work in Washington should vote to keep him there.”

“I show up. I go to forums even when I don’t know what the questions are going to be. Oh, I have not frequented prostitution — and certainly have not done that sitting on the floor of the United States Congress.” — Dardenne during a forum in which he was asked how he differs from Vitter.

“I think we have to address the elephant who’s not in the room.” — Dardenne on the absence of Vitter during another forum.

From Edwards:

Random: “I just saw the biggest alligator I’ve ever seen in my life at the Bonnet Carre’, and I’ve seen some big ones. Had to be a 15-footer.” — Edwards in the middle of an interview with a reporter

“It’s easy for all of these Republican candidates to criticize Bobby Jindal now with his popularity rate at 30 percent or below. I stood against him when his approval rating was 70 percent or above.”

“David, it is especially nice to see you.” - Edwards to Vitter during a forum, suggesting the senator rarely shows up

“Don’t worry, Jay, I’ll beat David Vitter in the runoff.” — Edwards to Dardenne after Dardenne said Vitter doesn’t want to face the lieutenant governor in a runoff.

From Vitter:

“Just turn on the TV, John Bel. You’ll see me all the time.” — Vitter to Edwards after Edwards insinuated Vitter rarely shows up to forums.

“I’ve spoken about my past and how my family has dealt with that. If that’s not good enough for you, then that’s not good enough. But it’s good enough for (wife) Wendy.” — Vitter after dealing with a question during a forum about his prostitution scandal.

“Yes, but I know when and where to walk.” — Vitter on whether he felt safe walking in New Orleans after claiming crime is rampant in his hometown.

“We want to put all of that on red.” — Vitter, while paying his qualifying fee in cash

Bonus:

“If John Bel had stayed in the Army he would have been Gen. Edwards today.” — Edwards’ West Point classmate and roomate Murray Starkel.