"Hello and welcome to the munch!Perhaps this is your first munch.Perhaps this is your first BDSM event of any kind.Congratulations for contacting what many of us callthe BDSM community (or, more simply,“the scene”).You are on the threshold of meeting many new people, having many new experiences,and both learning and growing a great deal"Jay WisemanA Beginner's Guide to BDSM Munches

"A munch (short for burger munch) is a low-pressure social gathering for people involved in or interested in BDSM, usually at a restaurant. When available, munches often use a private room. In the UK, the venue is usually a pub, and people are free to arrive and leave within the specified hours. The primary purpose is socializing, though some munches also have announcements from local organizations. Munches often help those who are curious about the lifestyle meet others who may be able to help them become more comfortable and better informed. Munches can also be a place to get advice about or pass on anecdotes about BDSM experiences.

"Unlike a play party, most munches are casual affairs that exclude fetish attire or BDSM play, though a rare few include covert Master/slave interactions or other play. Some munches may have a specific focus. Others may be restricted to a specific group, such as women or submissives"

"It's not a dating service. It's not a singles group. It's not a swinger's club. The purpose of a munch is not specifically to find you a date and/or a partner. If the only reason you come to a munch is for that reason, you are likely to be disappointed"

Thank you, Ms Constance. You'll often see people online recommending attending munches as an entry point into your local scene. I mention it myself in an earlier section of this post. It's certainly a good way to start. Some groups even hold newbie munches, designed to be as unthreatening as possible:

"The [TIES] Newbie Munch is a monthly no-play, streetwear gathering held on the second Saturday of every month at 1pm. The location varies from month to month, but it is always held in a public space such as a restaurant, mall, or park. Attendance varies but averages between 15 and 30 people.

"It is designed for people who are completely new to BDSM, familiar with BDSM but new to a real life community, or even those familiar with BDSM communities, but new to this area. We also typically have several veterans of the local scene to help answer questions and with whom one can make contacts. We even invite those who have a limited familiarity with the local community and wish to expand their social circle"

Isn't this exactly what you need? If you are still nervous ask organizers if they will meet you for a quick coffee before the event. This was something roo-roo experienced, prior to his first munch:

"My biggest obstacle was making progress against my shyness (can’t say I’ve overcome it though.) Just walking into the first munch was a nerve-wracking experience but well worth it. (on the way to my first munch, I was screaming the Oscar Meyer Weiner song in my car, to try to calm my nerves.) Before going to the munch though, I looked at the munch's website and e-mailed with some basic questions, like what people normally wore to these things. The person I ended up talking with was very friendly and understanding, and even asked to meet for coffee before I went to a munch, so that I’d at least know one person there"

You can read more about munches, and other ways to meet kinksters in your local community in my how to find your local kinky community post. Interested in starting a munch group of your own? Read How to start a Munch by Mistress Ren and LesVoiles as well as other articles suggested at the bottom of this post.

So what did we do at our munch?

A small group of us met in the garden of a local cafe. It was kink friendly, dog friendly and smoker friendly so suited the group. And if you find yourself organizing a munch you need to take these things into consideration when you choose a venue.

Some of us had met at kinky events before, but some had not. For sol and myself there was one especially looked forward to meeting. As I wrote on Twitter: "Great munch with good friends + new ones ... finally met an online playmate of 3 years standing ... as beautiful in real life as online :)".

We had a lot of fun at our munch. "It was truly wonderful and the company was really GREAT!", wrote BlackPrince later, while MistressTerra noted: "Had a hoot of an afternoon ... Most entertainment and giggles I have had for ages where there hasn't been blood, cries or an enema kit involved".

A two hour event stretched to four....

Was there anyone there, experiencing their very first munch? Yes there was. And for you new timers out there here are her thoughts about the day:

"Having spent the past four years hiding behind the security of my computer screen, seeing the email invitation in my inbox was daunting.

"I looked at the invitation from Mistress 160 to join a local "kink" community group at a real life get together on the following day. I had recieved invitations to events in the past, but always had a reason not to go. I kept reading "just a lunch . . . a get together . . . Vanilla environment . . . casual clothes . . . . "

"As I stared at the screen, reading the email over and over I realised that this was my chance to actually take the step, to attend a safe, no pressure, real life "kink" event. So, I replied to the invitation saying "Ok, I will be there".

"Driving to the destination my nerves increased. I think I stopped breathing when I first entered town and headed in the direction of the cafe we were meeting at. "What am I doing? What is this munch going to involve? What if I dont fit in? What? Why? OMG!" . . . . All these thoughts were running through my head.

"I pulled up at the location - crossed the road - and walked through the cafe to the area at which we were meeting. I must admit although I wasnt sure what to expect, I dont really think I was expecting to see "normal" people. Please excuse my ignorance, but I have been fighting my own demons regarding my kinks for the past 4 years (that is when I first acknowledged them) and really thought I may have been the only one in real life, who had such thoughts/desires.

"Everyone at the munch was warm and welcoming. Everyone had their own stories to tell, which made the get together rather interesting! I sat back, quietly listening to what everyone was saying. I hope I wasn't seen to be rude, and although afterwards I was upset with myself that I was in fact so quiet during discussions, I was also very proud of myself that I have taken the step to reach out and meet so many like minded people, right here in my own community.

"It was nice to know that there are REAL people in this world, and some even close to home, that are there to talk with and act as a support to me. I got home after the munch with a new outlook on things. I have joined an online community, and have done some more soul searching - perhaps I am ready to take the next step from online to "real life". It makes it so much easier knowing that there are other people out there who are happy to help me out and support me should I need it.

"Attending the munch was probably one of the biggest steps I have taken in this, my journey of self recognition. If I hadn't attended I would probably be sitting by the computer denying my ever growing urges to explore these desires burning deep within. Thank You, Ms 160 for the invitation"

Yay!! Thank you for coming, so to speak :). Our new friend did exactly the right thing by the way. Just being there is quite enough for your first event, you are processing waaay too much info ... you can do the talking next time. Now go on, readers, shoo ... go have a look at what's on in your own local area....

Thursday, May 14, 2009

You're gloved up, his crown jewels are in your hands, and you look into his eyes and smile... what will you do next?

Cock and ball torture is one of the basic skillsets that a professional dominant is taught in their training. It's also one of the most intimate forms of play for both tops and bottoms in the lifestyle. If you've ever wondered what to do when presented with a man's block & tackle, then this is for you. (or you may be a CBT afficionado and want to come along and serve as a stunt bottom, write to the email address given below)

The skillshare will cover basic cock bondage, pegs, fire & ice play, insertables and a little mind fuck... all with items that are commonly found around the home. The emphasis is on doing enjoyably nasty things for maximum effect and minimum damage. After all who wants to have a broken toy? No fun in that!

Numbers are restricted to 12, we are hoping to have 8 tops and four bottoms ie. two tops per bottom (lucky things!) due to space restrictions. If you can BYO you'll be expected to share with one other. If you don't have a bottom, we can hook you up with another top and their bottom, or put you with a 'stunt' bottom. Attendance fee is $20 per person payable in advance, but you may be asked to bring an extra $10 to cover a stunt bottom's attendance fee.

Interested?! Here are more details:

date: Saturday, May 23, 2009time: 09:00 AM to 11:00 AMwhere: Oakleigh, Melbourne, Australiaaddress: Email adrenachrome@aapt.net.au to register your interest. If you you want to see what workshops are coming up in the future, go to www.adrenachrome.info and look at the workshops/calendar or keep an eye on the Adrenachrome group. mapcost: $20 per person payable in advancedress code: Comfortable!

All BDSM For Beginners posts are very long posts. Think of each post as an hour's seminar. It will take that long to read, so make sure you have your favorite coffee / munchies to hand. Remember: don't skip any quotes in red (they may contain questions we then discuss. Or provide a point of view important to the section) and do any homework!

A dungeon monitor (sometimes referred to as a dungeon master or simply a DM) is a person charged with supervising a playspace (or "dungeon") at BDSM events such as play parties and fetish clubs. These people may be of any sex and may normally identify as any role (dominant, submissive, or switch), but while on duty their authority is absolute. If a dungeon monitor orders a play scene to stop, it must be stopped immediately. Dungeon monitors are usually people with significant experience and/or explicit education in BDSM and safer sex practices, and who also have verifiable training both in BDSM safety practices and first aid techniques. They often wear a special uniform or hat, but there is no standard way of denoting who is a dungeon monitor.

The primary responsibility of a dungeon monitor is to ensure the physical safety of all participants engaging in BDSM play. At private parties, it is typically the host's role to act as a dungeon monitor or to nominate an attendee to serve in that capacity. At public playspaces, the venue typically appoints volunteers or employees for the same purpose. Dungeon monitors are normally not permitted to engage in a scene themselves so that they will always remain an outside and objective observer of other players' scenes.

Almost all playspaces define a set of house rules that list the prohibited activities as well as the default safeword and sometimes even a safe gesture. In addition to monitoring play scenes, dungeon monitors also maintain the dungeon equipment between scenes (if the players themselves fail to do so), performing such activities as cleaning surfaces (possibly with disinfectants), replacing pads, and generally readying a play area safely for its next scene.

This gives you a basic idea what DMs do.

I've discussed in another post, on attending your first play party, how different each party is - the organization of each is different. Rules are different. Etiquette may be different. Dungeon monitors are also different. Some parties don't have them. This might be because at smaller parties the host and hostess might take on this role themselves - but it might also be because the kinky community holding the party is less formal in structure. At other parties (especially in the US) you will find DMs a major presence. That's the kinky world for you!

WHAT DOES A DM MEAN, INPRACTICAL TERMS, FOR MEAS A NEWBIE AT A PARTY?

"Dungeon monitors (DMs) are experienced players that aretasked to watch over players to ensure that safety precautionsare being followed and that acceptable conduct is beingmaintained. Dungeon monitors are "the law" at events and alsoa great source of information and introductions"Sagacity FAQ

"A play party/dungeon party is an event that gives kinky people the opportunity to engage in BDSM play at a public event. It is a chance to watch others interact, to meet and possibly play with new people, and show off your kink in an accepting environment. Dungeon furniture such as bondage crosses, spanking benches, padded tables, slings, and other furniture are provided. Everyone brings their own portable toys. Every play party has its own rules but some etiquette is standard"

Wiki includes an extra line or so about location ("play parties may take place in a dedicated dungeon (run by a professional dominant), a private home or a rented space) and restrictions:

"Play parties generally have a list of activities that are prohibited. These rules may be enforced by dungeon monitors), and sexual contact ("the amount and kind of sexual contact allowed varies ... depending on local laws"

So there's that title "dungeon monitors" again. Basically - for you, as someone new to play parties - a Dungeon Monitor is someone you can trust. Their job is to keep everyone safe, both players and at this early point, observers like yourselves.

Let's say this is your first play party. Since this is your first party you will probably already have been in communication with your hosts. They will have sent you the play party rules, which you will have read very carefully. They may have even suggested you arrive early at the party (with other new people) so they can personally greet you and - if they have them - introduce you to their DMs. If it's a smaller party they may tell you they will being taking the DM role themselves. If this didn't happen and you arrived with a crowd, take a moment to remind your hosts that you are new to the scene. This is a courtesy they will appreciate - it means they know to keep a quiet eye on you to make sure all is well, or ask a DM to do this.

You can ask your hosts / DMs for introductions and further information about what's going on. They are quite used to this and absolutely don't mind. Also, if a DM asks you to do something ("could I get you to step back a bit here, thanks so much"), you can always ask why ("see the white lines on the floor, those show the play area boundaries, someone is about to use this area"). See? Knowledge is always useful. Now you know to keep an eye on those floor marks!

I don't advise playing at your first party but when the time is right at later ones you should approach the DMs (or hosts) to let them know you are about to do your first scene. Again this is common sense as well as courtesy - remember even experienced kinksters call over DMs (or hosts) when they are planning to try some new technique. Not only for safety but because the DMs will know if there is someone at the party with expertise in what you want to try. They are usually delighted to supervise your scene and share their expertise with you.

You can read an example of sol and I doing this at a play party here, where our party host introduced us to someone experienced with electrical play. In the reverse role as a DM I recently co-supervised a young couple who decided to do their first public play piercing scene. I say "co-supervised" because the young Domme had done the right thing and already organized for a more experienced dominant to watch. It was a joy to watch them play :).

What about if you see something that should be brought to the attention of the DMs? Perhaps some play that looks too rough to you. Let me quote part of my First Play Party post:

If this is your first party, keep in mind that you are going to be feeling a tad overwhelmed by what you see around you. Sure, you'll have watched BDSM play on the internet / porn, but there's a huge difference when things happen right in front of you, even when it's "things" you have fantasized about for years. "Don't gape at scenes, behavior, or sexual proclivities that are new for you to actually encounter in real life even if you've heard of such things and wished for years you could actually see it", says Non Famous Lauren:

"There is a fine line between open-minded curiosity - the desire to learn and understand something that is new for you .... versus prurient judgmentalism, gawking, or tiresomely asking someone who is sick of being asked what he or she can possibly enjoy by doing whatever astonishing thing you saw the person do. Be sensitive about when and who you ask, and be sensitive while you watch. People at play parties are not there to entertain or educate you, even though many folks who choose to attend play parties do also enjoy the exhibitionist and educational aspects of what they are doing..."

Lauren also makes an important point about tolerance:

"Be tolerant of things you didn't expect. In particular, even if you are fascinated, try not to gawk noticeably at stuff you personally have never encountered before. Watching and learning are fine---and are often exactly the point!---but there is a social norm in each group about what is appropriate astonishment to show to those around you.

"If you have never seen two males play sexually and lovingly together before, or if you find watching the two women playing together across the room really hot for you as a voyeur, or if you have never talked to a cross-dresser close enough to actually hold a social conversation ... if you ... are shocked by the amount of bloodflow from a ritual cutting, or by what appears to you to be the hate-filled screaming and cursing of a bottom raging at her top at the height of a difficult scene, or if you never envisioned seeing a piercing of a needle right through someone's nipple, or if whatever else you didn't expect and are suddenly encountering seems extreme to you, then the astonishment is probably yours. Get a grip"

If you really feel uncomfortable about what is happening, retreat to areas of the party where people are simply socializing.

You can of course also discuss it with a DM. They will be happy to explain further about whatever is making you uncomfortable. Communication! Always a good thing! Remember Ms Constance's wise words:

"If you're unsure what is appropriate at a party, ask. Ask the host of the party, ask someone whom you respect in the community, ask the person(s) involved [Ms160 adds: ask a dungeon monitor if there is one]. And ask before you commit the faux pas that gives you a reputation as a wannabe or a jerk or a bitch. Reputations can be hard to shake."

SO HOW I BECOMEA DUNGEON MONITOR?

You can certainly put in the preparation / training and put yourself forward to party organizers - after all being a Dungeon Monitor is a voluntary position - but to be honest, being a dungeon monitor is a bit like being a mentor. You tend to wait until others consider your experience levels high enough and approach you.

How to prepare? The Dungeon Monitors' Association website states: "To attend the Beginning Dungeon Monitor Training Course we recommend you have the following experience, training and abilities:

A minimum of one year of active involvement in the local SM/Leather/Fetish community.

Must be over the age of 18

Attended a minimum of 20 public/semi-public SM/Leather/Fetish Play parties (Dungeon Play parties) where DM's are on staff.

A basic understanding of common play techniques

A strong desire to continue education about different play styles beyond personal areas of interest.

Be able to act in an emergency situation where physical activity and mental/emotional stability are essential.

Note that list is what you need BEFORE you start training!

This is a good list to keep in mind, re your own stage of experience. If you meet the above criteria, then look for a kinky community that runs Dungeon Monitor courses and enroll. Even if you have to travel to do it. Join the Dungeon Monitors Association and enroll in their class. I really can't stress enough how vitally important good Dungeon Monitor training is. Your role as a DM is to maintain the integrity of a safe, sane and consensual BDSM play space. You are responsible for the safety of players and equipment, and observers. In practical terms this means that pretty much all at the same time you will be keeping an eye on what's going on, trying to enforcing dungeon rules (diplomatically!!), administering basic first aid and making sure play areas are clean and safe for the next players. It's not a glamorous job. As the BMA's FAQs point out:

So being a Dungeon Monitor is a lot like being the Dungeon Police right? I get to tell people what to do and interrupt scenes?

A: No. At best, Dungeon Monitors are a lot like Lifeguards. We enforce the rules and make sure everyone has a great time. A better way to look at becoming a DM is that you are becoming a facilitator for the dungeon party. Your job is to make sure thateverything goes smoothly and that the party host/ess's guests are taken care of. That may mean doing something as simple as moving equipment around to facilitate safe playing, helping the top tape down an electric cord so bystanders won't trip on it, or even fetching a glass of water for a player who can not leave the dungeon floor. The last thing we wish to do is interrupt someone's play. The only time we interrupt a scene is when there is an inherent risk of danger to the players or guests and then we try to be as unobtrusive as possible.

Unable to take any kind of course right now? Then have a think about what experience you might need:

Take a first aid course (anyone reading this who is part of my local kinky community the next First Aid Certificate course will be in early May). If you can't take one read up on the many articles on BDSM health and safety listed here and at the end of this post.

Attend lots of BDSM educational workshops to increase your skills. As many as possible. Including topics that don't push your own kinky buttons. Why? Because these are areas where you'll have less experience. You also need to experience "edge play" topics like blood play, needle play, breath play and fire play. If you are unable to deal with these issues then you need to reconsider being a DM.

Watch and learn at play parties. Lots of them. There is always stuff to learn. At a recent party when I DMed I encountered a technique I'd not experienced before. I later discussed the techniquewith the party's First Aid Officer. Not in criticism of those who played using that technique, but to help me learn more so that next time I could be more help, if required. After you've attended a few parties , tell a designated Dungeon Monitor that you hope to become one and ask if you can hang around with them and watch them work.

Join the Dungeon Monitor group on Fetlife. They list Dungeon Monitor training courses throughout the States. Read all the old threads, some of which cover interesting situations and problems, and read how these were solved. Here's a few sample threads from there:

Read the Dungeon Monitor Training Manual ("taken with permission from a DM training manual by Sir Lawrence, Dungeon Master of the Arizona Power Exchange. We have modified it to suit our style and need") and other manuals and guides listed in the References and Online Resources list at the end of this post.

Buy Jay Wiseman's "Dungeon Emergencies and supplies", read it cover to cover, and take it in your pocket to any party. I'm going to quote Jay's comments about the content, because these are the sorts of problems a dungeon monitor might encounter:

"In Section One, the book starts with an overview of emergencies in general - what they are, how they arise, how to judge their severity, and so forth. It then addresses the legal aspects of emergency care (I recently passed the California Bar Exam) such as consent, duty to act, Good Samaritan laws, assumption of risk, insurance, and the necessity defense. Section One continues with a look at the most common causes of BDSM-related cardiac arrest, and finishes with an essay on the especially dangerous practice of being in serious bondage and alone - the number-one killer of sadomasochists.

"In Section Two, the book solidly covers the basics of how to manage more than 30 of the most common BDSM-related emergencies, whether they are medical, environmental, behavioral, or legal. Topics covered include allergic reactions, burn care, condom failure, escalating argument, fainting, false accusations, hot cream overdose, jammed knot, overly tight bondage, breach of privacy, rectal foreign body, shock, and unwanted marks. Section Two also covers topics such as deep vein blood clots, the "Sunday Night Safeword," and Harness Hang Syndrome. In Section Three, the book concludes with detailed instructions regarding what goes into a good first aid kit and why its there, and finishes with a solid bibliography.

Basically, just keep adding to your knowledge. And at some point you'll find yourself thinking "OK, I think I might be able to take a shift as a DM at a play party soon" and at that point it might be time to go talk to the hosts of your favorite play parties and ask if you might work as a trainee DM for a few parties.

REFERENCES AND ONLINE RESOURCES:

Ms160's Going Real Time series:, about moving into the BDSM Lifestyle:

introduction to this series here on Mistress 160's Abode and here on Ms160's BDSM for Beginner's blog

Friday, May 1, 2009

It's a terrific thing, watching kinky communities learn to socialize a bit more. "Usually we only meet at play parties every few months", one friend said at a Femdom tea party recently, "it's nice to just sit and talk". Absolutely. Look at the types of events sol and I have been attending this year: not just play parties and educational events but kinky weddings, tea parties, formal dinners, etc.

It's nice to have like minded friends to socialize with (although let's be honest here, sometimes their political views can scare you witless). It's one of the reasons we wanted to set up our D/s retreat and eventually our kinky community. There are so few places kinksters can go to be themselves.

We are constantly asked when the retreat will be formally open, to the point where we are now organizing events (from CFNM tea parties to sub hunts to educational workshops to retreat programs for couples) BEFORE the opening lol. The event I get asked about most is the inaugural Dommes' Retreat we have planned for late 2009, when a small group of professional and lifestyle dominant women - at all levels of experience - will gather here for a long weekend towards the end of the year:

The Northern Rivers region is a beautiful part of Oz, and trips to local markets, national parks and beaches, even a famous local leather fetish workshop, are under consideration. However mostly we will sit around at the Retreat, catch up with old friends and make new ones, and share our knowledge and skills within a comfortable, relaxed environment. There are not many places left but if it's something you'd like to attend, or even just join the mailing list for future retreats, drop me a line via Fetlife.

For those reading this in other parts of the globe, all hope is not lost. As I said before, there appears to be a swing towards the organization of these types of social events. If one is not happening near you, then why not make it happen yourself? As for those reading this in North America you are in luck! In fact I sincerely envy you! Because there is a similar event planned for June 2009 by some extraordinary women whom I would dearly love to spent retreat time with:

'Rural, yes, remote, NO! 'The Farm' is located in south central KY only six (6) miles from the Cumberland Parkway and about half way between I-75 on the E and I-65 on the W. Facilities include, acres of fields and woods most of which is isolated from 'neighbors', highway traffic, and development. The retreat takes place on thesecond floor of a newer building where there is a furnished apartment (living room, kitchen, bathroom, and 2 bedrooms though one is a dedicated medial room) complete with a separate dungeon which has it's own full bath. There is comfortable seating, several beds plus inflatable beds, and ample floor space. Thereare two motels six miles away in one town and two more in the next nearest town which is eleven miles away. We ask (urge) Mistresses to plan to stay at'The Farm' so as to facilitate interaction, growth, and fellowship.

It sounds very similar to the setup here at Nostromo, except in our case we are all in one large open plan area.

What's happening at The Mistresses Retreat? Well, similar to the event in Oz, YOU as an attendee will be a part of the creation of it's program:

"We want to make sure that every woman who attends this Retreat learns something and will leave after the weekend much more enriched than when she arrived. So, rather than set a pre-set agenda, we ask that every woman, upon registering, submit two questions or topics, you want covered during The Mistresses Retreat, and a short bio. The point of this retreat is to learn from each other. A more detailed agenda will be created from the questions and topics you submit, and will be published as we get close to the dates of The Mistresses Retreat."

This makes the event perfect for any American new female dominants reading this post - just imagine what your two questions might be. Lady Robin has also created a group for the Mistresses Retreat on Fetlife and there is also an events page. We'll do the same once the dates are confirmed.

I look forward to hearing how The Mistresses Retreat goes. It sounds like a lot of fun will be had at both events. Let's hope many similar ones are soon scheduled.

Education is very important to me, and as many visitors to my blog come specifically for my BDSM For Beginners series I thought I would copy the series - and other BDSM educational material - onto this blog, so that you can find everything a little more easily.

How do you use this blog? First, read my What is this blog about? post. Then check out the "What sort of info do you need?" list under this one, to see if any of the topics mentioned are of interest. Follow the links if so. You can also run your eye down the detailed Labels list. If you would like me to cover something specific in the BDSM For Beginners series, please drop me a line in the cbox below :).

Because I am part of the kinky community in Australia the blog often promotes local educational events here in Oz. However I'm happy to promote any educational / kinky events readers bring to my attention.

You can return to Mistress160's Abode here. You can also visit my new blog on Kink Culture here.

WHAT SORT OF INFO DO YOU NEED???? HERE ARE SOME OF MS160'S MOST POPULAR POSTS:

JUST STARTING TO PLAY? TRY THESE IDEAS:NOTE: The Practicalities of Play (For New Dominants) series has been taken down pending an intellectual property dispute (someone is trying to publish them in their own name) so drop me a line if you want to discuss any of these things. I also run a "D/s for New Dominants" workshop that covers them.Practicalities of play: Finding a play partnerPracticalities of play: Creating a play space and a toy boxPracticalities of play: Learning to playPracticalities of play: How to run a scenePracticalities of play: Dressing dominantPracticalities of play: D/s techniques for new dominants

"On the subject of information, Mistress160 has an array of "BDSM for Beginners" posts that discuss just about everything, from meeting like minded people to accessory selection [you will find a list of titles in the LABELS list below]. The resources that Mistress160 uses are extensive, and kudos to her…"(for complete review see Dark Scribe, 3 March 2007)

"This is a particularly excellent blog for beginners to BDSM. In fact, Ms160 has a phenomenal series created especially for beginners with more information in one place than I’ve ever really seen. Good stuff folks. Give her a look"Carrie AnnA View From the Floor "Blogs I Love"

"Just wanted to thank you for what you've done with your blog and with Fetish Lore ... you manage to present everything in a comfortable, matter-of-fact way that really helped [my wife] ... both sites have helped because they give us a nice touchstone, and a place to ask questions in a newbie friendly environment ... I don't know how often you hear this, but for these two "beginners," we wouldn't be half as on the ball without your blog"Belisarius, Nov 2007 (quoted with permission)

Thanks for all you do for the promotion of what I think of as "good kink," and your love of us subbies. It means more than you know"Quietlisten, Jan 2008 (quoted with permission)

"Thanks to Mistress160 for hosting [at her Forced Fem group on MDS] and for her wonderful articles on how to meet a Dom/me. Comfy, warm, well-lit places where one feels safe and at home can be hard to find on the 'net, but it seems wherever Mistress160 goes, that's what you'll find. Okay, enough gushing... Mistress160 rules! Oh, wait, sorry... end of gushing, I swear"Quietlisten Jan 2008 Forced Fem group Intros"Mistress160 ... runs what is probably the best informational blog about BDSM in the entire region, and has been doing so for quite a while"maymay April 2008 Maybe Maimed But Never Harmed

"You've helped me overcome a choking fear of myself. I can think about all of the kinky ideas that I've dreamed about, without having an anxiety attack of worry"copper 3 May 08

"Thanks for the great info on drop, both for tops and bottoms. Its helped me and my exsub through a painful breakup, and may have saved our friendship."Unen Theilmytholen 14 Sept 08 via cbox

My sincere thanks for a very informative site ... even a quick look around gave me tonnes of new ideas to try on my sub boy! Where do you get all these wonderful ideas? [When] stress and tiredness slow down [my imagination] I can always tap into your cornucopia of ideas! MsD 31 Dec 08 c box

"I remain amazed at the diversity you two exhibit! That blog had me thinking very nasty thoughts Ms160... sol is a lucky guy to have such a deliciously deviant Domme!"billc393 - CollarNcuffs forum (Jan 2009)

Mistress 160's blog is excellent and a really good resource. One that Owner and i found very helpful and informative when we were first starting out a few years back, and she is a wonderful person too. Very envious of the lovely place her and sol have.poppet's blog - comments (May 2009)

"well thought out, well written, and highly valuable ... the class had a profound impact on me and my self-perception ... your blending of sexual imagery with commands during the lessons was exquisite" (QL)

"this course has shown me that it is possible to do things i otherwise would have never done ... you will always have a place in my heart" (t)

Ms160 offers real time workshops and retreats, as well as online educational programs open to all kinky orientations. You'll find all the details on the new BDSM Education page :)

WANT TO ENTER ONE OF MISTRESS160's PHOTO CONTESTS (photo above)?

We have enormous fun!

Ms160 holds photo contests for male subs at her Forced Feminization group at My Dungeon Space. You will need to be a member of the group to enter the contest: join MyDungeonSpace for free, and then join Ms160's Forced Fem group.