Morgan Freeman Hand – It's not fake. The venerable actor's left hand is just kinda messed up. Freeman suffered nerve damage to the appendage during a 2008 car wreck in which he and passenger Demaris Meyer had to be rescued using the jaws of life. According to a Canadian reporter on the scene for Freeman's press tour for the HBO documentary 'Prom Night in Mississippi,' the damage might be permanent. The hand was "limp and swaddled in a tan glove" says MSN Canada. Sounds like a creepy hand, but sorry, not a fake hand.

Jersey Shore – Wow, how come we didn't watch this last night? MTV's new reality series, which premiered with a 2-hour episode Thursday night, features a guido bro who refers to himself as "The Situation." We are seriously setting our DVR right now. The eventful opening features drunk hot tubbing, drunk punching, drunk dancing, drunk puking, and guidos working at a T-shirt shop. At one point Snooki considers leaving the show. Thankfully, she quickly changes her mind. "I'm ready to party," she says. "I'm ready to meet some sexy guidos." She's in the right place.

Mikey Teutul Rehab – If you have cable, then you've probably swept your glance across Mikey Teutul. He's the youngest son of 'American Chopper' king Paul Teutul, Sr. and he's often cited as the show's primary source of comic relief. The guy isn't exactly an integral part of the engine that makes Orange County Choppers go. And like his older brother Paul Jr., Mikey was pushed out of the family business during the latest season of the popular TLC show. Is drug abuse to blame? If so, it wouldn't be totally unprecedented. In an old interview for the OCC website, Mikey asked his dad to name his fondest memory. "Getting' sober," he replied.

Tiger Woods Scandal Pictures – Grrrr. We were hoping we'd get through here today without any mention of unfaithful Tiger. Who were we fooling. Try as you might, you won't find any enlightening new photos of alleged mistresses Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, or Kalika Moquin. Perhaps you would have had Uchitel not canceled her scheduled press conference yesterday. You won't find pics of Woods family mom-in-laws Kultida and Barbro at the crash scene either, though a neighbor's 911 call is suggesting they may have been staying at the house the night of the accident. But you will find new photos of his smashed up Escalade. And, if you're really bored, you might as well check out the sultry "Tiger Woods Voicemail Slow Jam Remix." Actually, you don't have to be bored to do that, just curious.

Andrew Conley – 17-year-old Indiana native Andrew Conley "is an evil child" according to Ohio County prosecutor Aaron Negangard. Hard to argue with that. Police say Conley has confessed to strangling his 10-year-old brother Conner, throwing his body in the trunk of his car, and delivering a ring to his girlfriend. When asked why he committed the murder, Conley told police, it's "like when people have something like they are hungry and there is a hamburger sitting there and they knew they had to have it and I was sitting there and it just happened."

Tiger Woods Text Message – Grrrrr. Fine. RadarOnline.com says Rachel Uchitel saved hundreds of text messages and emails sent by Woods during their 5-month affair. Those messages are supposedly the smoking gun at the center of Uchitel's alleged $1 million hush money payday. But maybe you're looking for the texts sent to Jaimee Grubbs. "I will wear you out," Tiger wrote in a message to the former marijuana store employee, according to Us Weekly. "Send me something very naughty. Go to the bathroom and take a picture," he wrote in another. Even more will be published when this week's edition hits newsstands.

I have seen the New Jersey shore people hanging out on the beach for years. They are a bunch of empty-headed, empty-pantsed fools who think they are a lot higher on the evolutionary scale than they actually are. Don't waste your time...they are guilty of contributing to the dumbing down of America. No wonder we get laughed at by second rate countries like France.