Games We Won't (and Don't Want to) See

Games that no one is talking about...literally

With the rest of this year looking like it is going to be a smorgasbord of gaming goodness, I am going to show you games that no one is clamoring for. Why? Well, why not?

WNBA 2K11

You ever wanted to feel the thrill of laying in a basketball with fundamental precision? Have you ever wanted to make tight chest passes to the open (wo)man? Have you ever wanted to play hoops with a really small ball for people with small hands? Well, here you are! With the stunning realism of an WNBA game, this should be a good start for this gaming franchise. Complete with sub 40% shooting, 59-57 scores, no dunks, and the slow paced speed of a WNBA game. Franchise mode is also realistic. Guide your team through 10 seasons and try to keep your team from contracting before the WNBA itself, actually contracts.

Epic Potato Head

Move over Mickey, there is a new sheriff in town. Overcome all odds as you search for new face parts, each with their own unique ability. Explore the dark side of the potato head world. Defeat the evil hordes of chefs who want nothing more than to cook the potato protagonist. Also, come face to face with Mr. Potato Head's darkest inner workings. Are you up for the dark side of a children's classic toy?

GTA: Meter Maid

You left the life of crime for a real and rewarding career, and to make sure you have left the evil world behind and started making headway to becoming a better person, you joined the force. The meter maid force, that is. In this non-stop thriller, you seek out cars who have run out of time. Walk around real life city blocks and check each meter to make sure there is still ample time left. The law must be upheld. It is a dirty and thankless job, but someone has to do it. There are over 4,000 meters in this game.

Gynecology Wars

You are a young and confident doctor fresh out of med school. You set up shop in your hometown. Just a hometown kid trying to make a difference in this world. Everything is going fine, until your high school nemesis also sets up shop, right across the street. Do everything you can to keep the ladies coming in for various vaginal infections and diseases. Let them know that you are the man who will leave them fresh and healthy. Stop at nothing until every vagina walks through your door and you prod them. This game is only available for the Wii.

Dance Dance Evolution

Aw yeah! It's a dance party like no other! Dance the night away with friends and family as you listen to heated debates of the theory of evolution between Christians and scientists! Who will win? Who the hell cares when you are having this much fun! Bet Darwin never envisioned this!

E.T.

An exact port of the famed NES game. No graphical or gameplay update. However, it does come with a special controller that will strangle you to a wonderful death after playing for more than 5 minutes. Out in time for the holidays, makes a great stocking stuffer!

Dr. Potato Head Meets Vagina

Love..

How about NBA2KLockout? During the My Player mode you get to complain about not being able to feed your family and make tough decisions such as "Should I sell my yacht or my second Bentley". Then you threaten to take your talents to Switzerland for a month.

LOL!

Switzerland

or Greece? This is the kind of player-choice a regular season does not offer you!

Except, there's no turning off injuries here - sprain your wrist, and the Timberwolves back home might use that as an opening to cut your contract, and where are you then? Maybe the Heat will still be looking to add 'depth' and 'experience' to the bench, and before you know it, you're a regular Drew Gooden, whose 'talents' have been a part of half the league's teams.

Mr. Potato Heads darkest inner workings

WNBA 2K11

You ever wanted to feel the thrill of laying in a basketball with fundamental precision?

Sure!

Wow, I was just getting mad about what Donny Deutsch said about gamers, but now I think he might be right. If the only thing you can remember about women is that they have small hands, you may have been in the basement too long.