Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Rebutal

I think what was surprising about the dream is that I rarely think of them anymore, yet they pop up in my dreams. Believe me, there are other women I'm thinking of before I fall asleep (note: woman = multiple.. more than one.. ;) There are still songs that remind me of everyone and times spent together.. good and bad.

I know I've learned a lot from each of them, too. I'm still a bit of an introvert (when sober) and I know I wouldn't be the person I am if my first girlfriend didn't pull me out of the closet kicking and screaming. She opened my eyes to a whole new world; one in which I'd be spending the rest of my life, and for that I'm thankful.

I've learned about trust, about music, about being open, about finances, and I was sure most of my relationships ended pretty amicably. There are times I feel like the closure isn't there, that I want them to say, "I fucked up".. no apology, though. Cuz I wouldn't be where I am without having been with them and had those experiences, like I said, good and bad. Nothing to be sorry about.

I do have a pair of sweat pants, a Tshirt, and race tshirt I want back from A, as well as the tent from K. Maybe we'll make a trade when she wants her knife sharpening steel back.

I think I just found the root of my dreams - the need to reclaim materialistic goods lost in each 'divorce'!! :D