Saturday, July 30, 2011

Caught red-handed, left unscathed.

Caught red-handed but left unscathed

Saturday’s have become so eventful, learnt a lesson today which I probably would’ve never come across in any text-book. Thanks to Ibrahim and Rounak for teaching it to me and a special thanks to a policeman. Curious to know what happened? Read on.

To be honest, I was never really expecting this experience anytime soon.

Well, my friend Ibrahim had changed houses a few weeks back and I wanted to visit his new house. Today was the perfect time so, we(Ibrahim, Rounak and me) went to his house. Well, we had a great time at his place, thanks to Gears of War and the ever interesting board game, “Bluff”.

Soon, it was 6 o’ clock and we were getting bored and had to go home, so we decided to call it a day. Rounak had to go his tuition and I to a bus-stop, Ibrahim had promised to drop us both on his dad’s motorbike. I readily agreed thinking that he was going to drop us both one by one. Only when we were outside that I realized that he was going to take both of us at once. I was like “Wtf”, I’d never ridden 3-on-a bike in my entire life and I made a big fuss about it but then, Ibrahim used his powers of persuasion and made me agree to it. To make things worse, Rounak drove the motorbike. Now, think for a second. 3 15-year-old’s driving a Bajaj Discover on the treacherous Indian roads with a driver who doesn’t drive great.

Anyway, we started soon.

I sure as hell was scared and kept on cursing them every single second. I was like “WTH, slow down..slow down.” – “Dekh ke chala baap.” – “Aage dekh be..” – “Arey o..Tu teekh se chala na!”.. lol. I kept on muttering to god every single second to prevent any untoward accident. Well, suddenly, absolutely out of nowhere, 2 policemen appear and stop the bike. I was like “Crap..Crap..Crap..Shit..Shit..Shit..” I never was caught red-handed by the traffic police like this and it sure made my heart beat faster. Infact, I could actually feel my heart-beat without even touching my chest. Anyway, we all got down(there wasn’t anything else that we could do!).

The policemen(there were 2, but let’s consider only one because the other one hardly spoke) well asked for license and you know other stuff. He knew that we didn’t have anything but still he asked for it. Well, then Ibrahim and Rounak were telling “Arey Uncle, late hogaya tha. Isliye bike pe jaare.” And you know, other excuses. But, that policeman just kept mocking us. Well, after a few minutes, even Rounak got down from the bike.

While all this was going on, I was just at the back, mum, not speaking a word. I just decided that they two knew how to handle a situation better. Well, then Ibrahim asked the policeman to leave us this time, when he didn’t approve of it, he told him to talk with his father. He took Rounak’s cell-phone and dialed a number. The number was ringing. The policeman was talking something like “When we were kids, we didn’t even have shorts. Look at you people now.” – He spotted Rounak sweating profusely, he actually touched Rounak’s forehead feigning as if he was wiping off sweat and mockingly said “Ohh look, you are sweating. Why didn’t you tell your dad to give you car with AC.” I was like “Wtf” but didn’t tell anything. He kept quiet for the next 10-15 seconds during which I asked Rounak “Aren’t the police supposed to respect us?” Well, I spoke in English, a language that the policeman obviously didn’t know. Well, I said it too fast for him to grasp it and he looked sort of ‘surprised’ if I may say.

Ibrahim realized that he’d dialed the wrong number and again re-dialled.

That was when the policeman grew suspicious and told something which suggested that we were just fooling around with him. He was running out of topics to mock us, so he turned to the cell-phone. He said something like “Tumko Cellphone kyu hona? Call karne ke liye? Game(a) khelne ke liye?..”(Why do you need a cell-phone for? To Call? To Play Games?) Well, that really exhausted my patience. I’m a person who expects respect and believe in “Give respect, Take Respect.” The policeman obviously wasn’t giving me respect so, why give him respect! The cell-phone wasn’t clearly any of his concern. So, I replied “Aapko Kyun?”(Why do you ask?) He said “huun?”(What?).

That was when Rounak whispered “Adarsh, keep quiet.” And I realized that staying silent was the best option since back-so I when he asked “what?” I just replied “nothing.” And he kept quiet.

All this time, nobody was lifting the phone while Ibrahim was calling. Well, then suddenly, out of nowhere. The policeman asks him where he lives, Ibrahim replied “Yaheen hi. AC Guards, Mehboob Mansion.”(Nearby, AC Guards, Mehboob Mansion) That shuts of the police guy for a few seconds but then he asks me where do I live. I replied “Malakpet” He asks, what are you doing here then? I actually was going to the bus-stop but at the time, it felt appropriate for me to lie to him. I replied “I’m going to tuition with this guy.”

I’m a terrible liar, but playing so many rounds of bluff today probably improved my lying skills. He accepted my answer as a true one, I indeed had evidence, I had an effing bag on!

I don’t know why, but he again asked me(out of the three, why did he pick me? I’ll probably never find the answer to this but contemplatings’ not gonna hurt). He asked “What does your father do?” Now, my father works as a senior account in the Postal department. I replied “Government Officer”(Actually he’s an employee but, officer just came out of my tongue that time.) The policeman was taken aback. My friends said that his “Phat gai”(Like, he sort of got scared…something like that). He quickly asked me “Which department?” I had to reply “Postal Services” several times before he got that right.

As soon as he heard my answer, Ibrahim’s dad finally lifted the phone and Ibrahim gave it to the policeman telling “li jiye baat kariye.”(Here you go, talk with my dad.)

I don’t really remember what conversation that we three had then but, a few minutes later, the policeman comes and hands the phone to Ibrahim. Ibrahim asks “Kya Huya?”(What happened?) the policeman just signals us to go off.

I was like “WTH, we were left scot-free! Yaahuu” I really never expected to be left without a fine. Well, within seconds we climbed aboard the bike, this time Ibrahim was driving it(He’s a far better driver than Rounak if you ask me! He’s got loadsa experience :P). We like set off like a jet, the conversation we had till we reached Rounak’s tuition was probably the most nice. I mean, we were all so jubilant. I mean, I for one was shocked.

Ibrahim explained to me that they let them off because most probably his father had a connection somewhere with the policeman. His dad is something like a very reputable CA at the Income Tax bhavan nearby. Well, I was like “whoa.”

We soon dropped Rounak off and we were now heading towards my bus stop. Well, I felt so much more safer in Ibrahim’s hand’s now. I mean, he drives like a pro :P. Anyway, we chatted and chatted and laughed and laughed and, I must say, that conversation was so, so awesome!! Man, I really loved it.

Soon, he dropped me and we parted ways.

Man, this was one experience!! I’d never really expected it to happen anytime soon. It really did teach me something. “Not to drive a bike when you’re under-aged?”….Heck no!! It taught me “All you need, is a phone call to Ibrahim’s dad.” :P

Anyway, it was one hell of a day. One of the most memorable, if I may say.