I have not had a child with a UTI but my first thought was check for UTI. Mostly because of what I have read with symptoms.

Otherwise if that is fine and it is behavioural I would look at any recent 'big' changes. Toileting is something they tend to have 'control' over so it can go awry when they lose control of something else.

There have been no big external changes - in fact this year has been about the most 'stable' year our kids have ever had! Within him there have been huge changes, massive language leaps (we have started speech therapy for sounds but not language), new found adventurousness with food, a big shift away from parallel play to playing with others including making an actual friend, plus big levels of defiance and trying to get his way. That's why I think behavioural, I'm just at a loss for what strategies to try! Daycare are a bit shocked by it all too and they're not having any luck with their normal tricks either.

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