Potted film reviews by Gary Anthony Cross

September 6, 2016September 6, 2016

Razor Blade Smile (1998)

A vampire assassin is hired to murder the members of a secret society while a lone policeman tries to prove not only her guilt but her nature.

There’s low budget, then there’s straight to DVD and TV standard. Then, there’s Razor Blade Smile. An average example of internet porn has a higher production value than this and it looks like the entire cast were a combination of Jake West’s mates and some girls from the local rock bar who he quite fancied seeing in the nip. It’s all just an excuse to make Goth chicks dress up in fetish wear and make out while he and his chums run around the local park with fake guns. The action sequences are like something out of Be Kind Rewind, he obviously having seen a couple of John Woo films and then trying to copy them from memory and the cast are – to a person – dreadful. Of course, all of this can be blamed on the lack of money; but the utterly atrocious dialogue cannot.

I’m going to score it more highly than it really deserves for the sole reason that had a few laughs at its expense, but really it’s just like a cross between Underworld and a dog-eared copy of Readers’ Wives.