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How can I explain labor and birth to my toddler?

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My toddler is a very curious little girl and knows that the baby is due soon. How do I explain how the baby comes out? She's heard about c-sections and thinks that the only way is by 'cutting your belly.' I'd like to tell her about vaginal birth in a way she can grasp without being too descriptive. Has anyone got any ideas?

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Dear annonymous,
We're all entitled to our opinion, but to try to force them on someone else is wrong. My son was 20 months old when we moved out of state. We lived in one house until right before he turned 3, he still remembers things that happened in that house and he is 7&1/2. Call me a liar if you want but I know some kids remember early.

When my mother gave birth to my little brother I was there in the room. I don't ever remember her explaining to me what would happen but I will never forget how amazing it was to see a new life enter the room. I wasn't scared and I believe it was a great help to me when I started having children of my own. My son, who is 3, recently asked me about when he was a baby so I showed him pictures and explained it to him a little. He later came up to me with his Elmo doll stuffed into his shirt and said "Mom you gotta take me to a doctor cause I'm gonna have a baby." At this age children are never really going to completely understand it all but I think some of it sinks in and its a great learning experience.

For those of you who are opposed to having children in the birhting room: don't do it. Simple, easy and end of story.
Has it occurred to any of you that the motivation of people in having a child present at birth isn't to scare them, but to have the people that they love present for a very special moment? It's not like they are tied to the end of the bed with their eyes held open and forced to watch. I am sure that they are soothed when frightened and answered when questions arise.
The bottom line is that these parent's are raising their children in the manner that they wish. If you met a vegetarian family, would you insist that they feed their children meat? I certainly hope not. this is a personal preference that is the matter of the family and not one to be determined by others.
And just to clarify, I did not and will not have my children present at the births of my other children. It's simply too distracting to me. But I support those of you who want to be surrounded by love as your newest family member arrives.

I had a video taken of the b irth of my first born. I still like to watch the video every now and then and I don't mind my now two year old sitting with me and watching her own birth. I noticed she's not very interested until there actually IS a baby on the screen. When she's two and a half our second baby will be born. I explained her that mommy and daddy loved each other very much and we will now a a cute little baby. She knows it's in my tummy and it's very small and she knows I need to take folic acid to make the tiny baby strong, but that's all.
When the baby is born, I like her to be ready in front of the delivery room (I might give birth at home, which would make it even easier) and I want her to come in as soon as the baby's head is out and the worst part is over. I want her to be part of her little brother or sister's life from the very beginning. I don't think it's taking away their innocence. I prefer it much more than those vague stories (I call them lies) of how suddenly a baby was brought to us...

Becky,
I believe that you CAN remember things from the age of 4, if it makes an impression on you. Learning about where babies come from would definitely classify as making an impression. I can remember when my younger sister was born when I was 4 years old.
To the ANONYMOUS writer that attacked Becky's memory, just keep in mind that every person is unique. While you might not be able to remember events from your youngest years it doesn't mean that no one else can. You might keep this in mind as you decide what to tell your own toddler some day.

When I was expecting my second baby, my daughter was 2.5 years old. We took my daughter to most of the prenatal apts starting at about the same time I was starting to show. She got to hear the baby's heartbeat and she was there for the ultrasound. She knew I had a baby in my belly. We told her the baby was going to come out of my body when she was ready to be born, and the doctor (who my child knew) was there to help the baby come out. She was not present at the birth, but we did have her with us during the first few hours of labor. She handled the arrival of her baby sister very well. (She never asked how the baby got in or exactly how the baby would get out)
Now I am expecting baby #3. My oldest is 4 and my second daughter is only 18 months. The toddler doesn't seem to have a clue what is going on, although we do talk about the baby in my belly with her. My 4 y/o daughter has been very interested in pregnancy because she remembers my previous pregnancy, and also because I and my two sisters are all having babies within a few months of each other.
I have used the Neilson book mentioned above (A CHILD IS BORN) to show her what the new baby looks like at various stages. My daughter is more interested in daily life in the womb than the mechanics of sex and birth. She wonders what the baby looks like, what he's doing today, etc.
When she finally asked how the baby got in there, I told her daddies and mommies who love each other might decide to make a baby. The daddy gives sperm to the mommy, and the sperm joins with an egg inside the mommy's body. That starts the baby. There was no mention of sex or intercourse. When she asked how the baby gets out, I told her it comes out through the vagina, that all girls have a vagina, and that someday when she's a grown-up she might have a baby too.
Last fall, my sister invited me and my daughter to the birth of her second child. Although I did not plan to have my daughter (3.5 at the time) in the room, we were accidently told to come into the room while my sister was pushing. My daughter ran in before I could stop her and witnessed the actual birth of her cousin. She was not afraid but fascinated, and talked about it for weeks afterward. Probably the fact that my sister had a full epidural helped make the moment less scary.
Again, I didn't plan to let my daughter watch a live birth, as I thought it might be too much. But kids can handle more than we give them credit for. If a child is old enough to ask, she/he is old enough to get an honest (but age-appropriate) answer. Mostly they just want to know the basics, not all the sexual stuff. Treat it as you would a question about how the eye works or where poop comes from.

just tell her the truth, my philosphy with my 6 year old daughter is that if she is bold enough to ask then she deserves a bold answer, i would rather my husband and i answer her questions than someone else, because believe me once a child is curious and begins to ask questions they will continue to ask whoever until they get a response, so why not tell them the truth.

Anonymous said:
I think it is totally outragous that a 3 year old will be permitted to be present during delivery. Children are made to have an imagination and just have fun. Take the tooth fairy, Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, ect. for example. Let your children enjoy their childhood and innocence.
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I just want to ask, how is birth destroying innocence? It's NOT a dirty thing and it doesn't put undo expectations on them, if handled right. It's a normal natural part of life and it's a beautiful thing. What is there to protect them from?!
I would say that those of you who find birth to be a dirty thing that children need protection from need to really examine how you feel about your body and the birth you experience and the natural cycles of life. Despite discomfort or pain, it can be an enjoyable thing and it's something that everyone can share in.
There's a difference between protecting and deluding.
Vagina is not a dirty word! If my son wants to go and tell the Pope that his mother has a vagina, he's welcome to. It's the truth and even the Pope probably knows about basic human anatomy.

I would like to add a comment for those of you having trouble telling your children how the baby gets into the mommys. I have told my children that the daddys have the seeds and the mommys have the eggs. And the daddy gives the seeds to the mommy and then the baby grows in mommys tummy. I have not said the words "vagina or Penis" to any of my children nor have I discussed sex with them. I have tried to explain things to them honestly and age appropiatley.

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