The 8 Emotional Stages of Coming Out

There's a lot of nervous staring.

Most Read

1. Can friends practice kissing?! Internal monologue: OH SHIT. I'm a girl. You're a girl. I would love to press my body to your body while we're both still wearing clothes, so maybe that is just friendship? Can friends also practice kissing? Can we hold each other and practice kissing? WHY AM I SO JEALOUS OF THAT BOY TALKING TO YOU, LOLOLOL.

2. I'm not gay, but let me stare at these gay people and those gay people … just for research. For research. More internal monologue: THOSE TWO WOMEN ARE HOLDING HANDS; THAT'S COOL. NOT THAT I CARE. Ohhhh, look, THOSE TWO GUYS JUST MADE OUT IN PUBLIC. LOL. WHO EVEN NOTICES. NOT ME. Ooooh, THAT GIRL HAS SHORT HAIR AND THAT GIRL HAS LONG HAIR AND THEY ARE TALKING REALLY CLOSELY AND I WONDER WHY, MAYBE THEY ARE GAY; I HAVE BEEN STARING FOR 15 MINUTES.

4. I MET A GIRL. I FLIRTED WITH A GIRL. Freak the fuck out and confide in your best friend that you might have a crush on a girl. When your BFF says, "Yeah totally, everyone loves girls," you panic and scream, "NO, BUT I'M GAY!" and then you and your BFF stare at each other until she says it's fine and you start to feel better about your gay feelings.

5. I'm dating a girl. OMG. She is out and proud. Where and when can you hold hands?? You freak out. Your girlfriend (omg, you have a girlfriend) says she totally gets it and she's there for you. You cry a lot. You make out a lot. You watch all six seasons of The L Word in two weeks.

6. I think I am falling in love. Things are getting really real. I should probably tell people. Fuck. You want to scream from the rooftops that you love this girl. You don't know how to come out, but you know you want to. You change your Facebook status to "in a relationship with girl_name_here." You tell your parents. You're internally freaking out, but playing it cool (or so you think, LOL).

7. I feel a little confused and overwhelmed, but also a bit like a warrior?! Some people are dicks, but some people are hella supportive. You stay close to the support and try to begin unraveling the emotions that go along with the nonsupport. You start wearing rainbows.

8. I AM OUT. JUST TRY TO MESS WITH ME. You and your girlfriend break up because shit happens. You go to Gay Pride to "pick up chicks" with your new lesbo crew. You spend the entire day screaming and lifting your shirt and spending too much money on cups full of fruit and T-shirts you'll never wear. You're exhausted, sunburned, and OUT AS HELL.

Kristin Russo lives in New York City and holds a master's degree in gender studies. Dannielle Owens-Reid lives in Los Angeles where she rehearses stand-up comedy in front of her cat. Together they run the website everyoneisgay.com. Do you have questions or topic requests for Kristin and Dannielle? Ask them HERE.