C must be obedient, respectful and honest or she will get a firmly spanked bottom. 'Firm' but 'fair' Discipline spankings helps C retain her femininity, as a dutiful loving wife and mother.

My darling C, I demand you to Blog regularly; keep anonymity; keep your contract during discipline; do your chores as instructed and on time; keep your journal up to date with all your misbehaviours.

Your loving Head of House (HOH)

R xxx

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Releasing Tears During Discipline

I have already written an essay on “Releasing Those Tears”. This short post isn’t a regurgitation of what I have previously written; instead, I would like to draw attention to one particular (and very common) blockage which hinders many women from crying during their spankings.

In the early stages of my Loving Domestic Discipline lifestyle, I too found crying impossible to achieve during my discipline. I found that I would “talk” or “yell” out in pain. I would say things like, “Ow!” “Please stop!” “It’s too hard!” “I’ve learnt my lesson!” etc… I used to think that such behaviour was acceptable, reasonable and perfectly natural (under the circumstances). I was, after all, being subjected to repeated hard swats on my bare bottom, it was only natural (I thought back then) to shout out in pain, or plead for my spanking to stop.

Surprisingly, the first time I cried during discipline was when I stopped talking or yelling. I was told that my shouting out was very disrespectful and would no longer be tolerated. I was told to write a contract on how to conduct myself during discipline . I was also given enough corner time before my spanking to read through my contract and prepare my heart and mind for my upcoming punishment.

The corner time was a peacful, introspective time. Not only did it make me internalise my wrong attitudes and behaviour, but it also prepared me mentally for good "submissive" behaviour - how I should behave during my spanking. I also couldn’t just zone out during my discipline (another of my strategies). Rather, with a period of introspection, I had fully accepted the onus of my wrongdoing and was very remorseful and calmly accepting of my punishment.

When I was being spanked, I made a remarkable discovery. In my silence I became more focused on my misbehaviour and punishment and not so focused on my rebellion. My state of mind was more relaxed and readily accepting of my punishment. So much so, that the tears started to flow. My actual "shouting out" was not only disrespectful to my HOH, but it was also detrimental to myself. It was in fact a block which stopped myself from getting that release through tears. I discovered that whenever I came “close to tears” I would shout out as a way of preventing that flow. I didn’t realise this at the time, it was very much a sub-conscious act. Some women don’t verbally yell out, but clench their buttocks, kick or twist. These demonstrations of rebellion during discipline are of the same calibre and should also be discouraged. A Disobedience Discipline (additional punishment) will more than likely put an end to this type of rebellion.

Some women may argue, that they yell out during their spankings whilst they are already crying. They may argue that yelling isn't a block preventing them from crying, since it doesn't stop the onset of tears. But the tears they are shedding are not the real tears of remorse and contrition, they are selfish tears based on a hurt pride. Selfish tears will not change the woman’s attitude or behaviour. Selfish tears will only harbour resentment. They will not cleanse the woman so that she has a complete change of mind and heart. Selfish tears will not help her learn her lesson; they will not effectively take her from a negative situation into a positive one. Women who cry whilst yelling or clenching are also blocking themselves from that deeper, truer and more sorrowful cry.

The first time I cried during discipline, an interesting thing happened. I stayed silent throughout and then at the moment I felt the tears coming, I repeatedly and remorsefully said, “Thank you” to my HOH.By repeating these words I broke into catharsis straight away. This verbal emotive sign of my gratitude was understood by my HOH as a way of “releasing” an internal block which could result in tears. Whilst yelling and speaking during punishment are generally regarded as something that would block the woman's tears, on rare occasions submissively making a heart felt verbal thank you, or apology during a spanking, can act in reverse by releasing the woman's tears.

Whilst I was initially convinced that women who were unable to cry during their spanking was the result of some internal blockage. I now believe in both internal and external blockages. External blockages, by yelling or using the body to fight against tears are much more common than the mental internal blockages, such as zoning out. Women who frequently zone out may find that they were victims of abuse, and that this zoning out strategy was something they developed as young children, as a coping mechanism.

Whilst I originally believed that the release of tears could only emerge by psychologically analysing the reasons behind that internal blockage. I am now convinced that although reasons for withholding tears are indeed internal (psychologically based). Blockages for releasing that emotion are more commonly external (physically yelling out) rather than internal (mentallyzoning out).

Hmmm...I have been reading your blog for quite some time and I am very impressed with your insight. I have noticed that recently I haven't been crying during my punishments and actually I've been feeling quite rebellious in my heart. I absolutely yell out, squirm, tighten my butt, etc and I don't feel contrite upon the completion of the spanking. I do feel a bit more at peace but not totally cleansed from it. I will try to do what you have pointed out here and submit mind and body to my next discipline and then I'll report back and let you know how it went!!! I'll also give my HOH this blog post to read to see what He thinks.

If you say that recently you have noticed changes in your inability to release tears and have felt quite rebellious at heart, then perhaps you could look into what may be causing these changes?

Perhaps you may have other things on your mind which are preventing you from centring down to your discipline? Or perhaps the changes are more psychological or physiological?

Although my post offers an overall tried & tested method in the release of tears, it is important to remember that women have extremely complex psyches and emotions. These complexities can certainly affect the disciplinary proceedings, depending on the time of month and menstrual cycle.

Taking certain medications can also leave women feeling rather spaced out and not really part of their discipline. Unusual stresses such as moving house, or a new job or baby can also overwhelm some women.

If you can try to analyse what may be triggering your change in attitude you will go a long way to understanding the blockage and finding a solution.

when my HOH starts to disicipline me, he makes me strip naked he gives me a bath, and makes me submit by wearing the crotchless Heirloom bloomers I submit to corner time and Ginger figging. he allows me to squirm for that because it quite painful in the bottom.but i cant talk or moan. when bottom is warmed up. I present my full bottom and breathe out hard after each blow. I find I start to sob very quickly using that technique. He knows i have submitted completely when im sobbing and hiccuping. then the kisses my boo boos hugs me and tells me what a good girl I am for taking my punishment so well. I LOve my HOH so much.

the diaper posiition is the position that makes me sob to the point where im sobbing till i cant catch my breath,because it's such a humilating position when youe completely naked. ash your HOH if it would be ok to try that position. a johnny loop works good, the sting makes u break down.

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About Me

I have been aware of my submissive urges since an early age, where I craved for a strong authoritative leader whom I could follow and obey. I desired a man who would hold me accountable for my misbehaviours and correct, teach and guide me with loving discipline. I felt incredibly guilty for having these natural instincts and my guilt continued throughout my DD marriage of 22 years. I felt socially excluded for being an intelligent and independent woman, yet striving to yield to my man in obedience and submission. We married in our early teens and embraced DD from the start because it instinctively felt normal and natural. But society at large did a good job in condemning our lifestyle, making us shamefully question the validity of our relationship. Two years ago I came across the Loving Domestic Discipline site and many wonderful people in the LDD community. My life changed and I no longer felt isolated or condemned. Corresponding with other LDD practitioners has helped me to voice many of my thoughts that I had locked away. C’s Loving Domestic Discipline Blog is my journey where I can explore my innermost thoughts - many of which I suppressed since my earliest childhood.