Daddy Issues Aren’t Just Black & White

So, most of us are familiar with the term Daddy Issues. When asked what it is, I heard one person say, “It’s when a woman is crazy because her dad wasn’t around.” Crazy? Crazy? Are you kidding me?

Daddy Issues don’t make a woman “crazy” but they do cause most women who have them to display certain behaviors that might make others uncomfortable.

The thing about Daddy Issues is that they aren’t black and white. There is no one behavior that every woman with Daddy Issues displays. There are many gray areas when it comes to Daddy Issues. For instance, did you know that women who’s fathers were around can still show signs of having Daddy Issues? We tend to think that it is only women who did not have a father growing up.

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(Picture courtesy of Canva)

I have seen this played out in the lives of women whose dads were workaholics. Don’t get me wrong, dad going to work is a good thing for a family. However, if the dad was preoccupied with working or worked so much that his children barely saw him or spent quality time with him, the child most likely processed it as a rejection of him or herself. We all know the importance of a dad being available, both physically and emotionally, in his daughter’s life. When this doesn’t happen, Daddy Issues will most likely follow.

I have also seen daddy issues displayed in women whose dads had substance abuse problems. The disease of alcoholism and drug abuse have destroyed and broken up many families. Sometimes, the family remains together but the wounds of neglect, rejection, and even abuse, that the disease brings are the same as if the dad had abandoned them. This tends to take it’s toll on everyone involved.

Another scenario in which daddy issues are displayed in women who had their father around is when their dad was unfaithful to the mother. There are several reasons for this. First, the dad’s affection for his family has been unconsciously turned away from them, causing him to reject them. Secondly, the mother’s reaction to the dad and the infidelity can affect how the children react toward him, both in the present and in the future.

There is no one Daddy Issues behavior that is displayed either. Some women become promiscuous, seeking the love they that they perceived was missing from their dad. Some women become hard and reject love from others, even when it is genuine. Some women display self-rejection, or depression, or self-pity, or become judgmental and critical, or become distrusting of authority, or become insecure, and the list goes on, and on, and on.

While Daddy Issues are gray and complex in their onslaught, symptoms, and behaviors, there is one thing that is truly black and white about them. They are overcomable!

When I began to invite God into my mess, my brokenness, my Daddy Issues, etc., I began to experience His healing of my emotional wounds. We have a heavenly Dad who cares for us and wants to see us healed. When we tap into Him and do the “Soul Work” with His help, we set ourselves up to be Overcomers. How awesome is that?!?!