Drink Like a Local: Avengers Edition

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This morning, after what was clearly a wild night of drinking, one of our Geek & Sundry travel guides stumbled into our New York office. The gentleman in question — an elderly fellow who happens to also be a veteran — proudly slammed a photo of himself, Captain America, and Thor onto my desk. Wild night indeed.

I got Stan (pretty sure that’s his name) some extra strength coffee and we got to work writing up his account of the night before. It turns out that he started the night at the American Legion on 132nd Street when, around about 8PM, none other than Captain America himself walked in the door, inviting everyone in earshot to join him for fun and drinks at Avengers Tower.

One lengthy cab ride later, Stan was having the time of his life. He even took notes on what everyone present was drinking, just in case you happen to find yourself in the same situation someday:

1. Cap. Steve Rogers is as traditional as they come, so if you’re thinking that he’d get a kick out of a flag-themed shot, maybe think again. Sure he’d chuckle at it (he may not have ever seen a layered drink before), but what Cap’s really looking for is something that hearkens back to a simpler time. Grab him a Yuengling, a New York brew that’s older than he is.

2. Iron Man. Tony loves him some booze. Champagne, hot sake — these are only a few of his favorite things. Still, when the going gets tough and he needs something to calm his nerves, there’s only one bottle Iron Man reaches for: Scotch. Tony’s a connoisseur, too. Grab him some of the good stuff and you just might win a smile from one of the most powerful men on the planet.

3. Hulk. Bruce Banner doesn’t often imbibe. It leads to “complications.” (Because emotions.) That being said, the big guy has no such reservations once he’s ready to get down and dirty. Want to have an extra good time with the Hulk? Mix up a five gallon batch of green monster. Skip the blender step, dump it into a durable container, and let the big guy shake it for you. He also might drink the whole thing. If so, rinse and repeat.

4. Hawkeye. So uh, Clint’s parents died in a car crash that happened because his dad was a raging alcoholic. Consequently, he doesn’t really have the same outlook on booze as the rest of the team. Still want to get in good with him? The dude pretty much drinks coffee 24/7. Hand him a cup o’ joe, make sure the drunks all hail cabs, and you’ll have yourself a master archer friend for life.

5. Black Widow. Natasha’s been offered enough black Russians for five lifetimes. She gets the joke. On the other hand, mix up some Russian vodka, a bit of cucumber, lemon, and simple syrup and you’ll have Ms. Romanoff’s attention. Of course, getting the attention of an insanely deadly assassin may or may not be a good thing, so drink at your own risk.

6. Thor. Like Cap, Thor loves a good brew. Beer? Good. Coffee? Great. Offer the him a glass of mead, however, and he just might hug the life right out of you. It was Thor’s father Odin who first brought mead to Asgard, and the drink still brings fond feelings to the god of thunder’s heart. He even thinks that it bestows him with poetry (otherwise known as drunken rambling).

7. Nick Fury He may not officially be a member of the team, but what’s “official” doesn’t amount to a hill of beans for Nick. Like Stark, Fury’s palate doesn’t discriminate much, but our man Stan swears that this “former” director of S.H.I.E.L.D. favors one cocktail over the rest. Like the Avengers themselves, it’s a mix of his own making: vodka, spiced rum, sweet and sour mix, and OJ.

That’s, unfortunately, all the info we got out of our (very hungover) reporter before he shouted “excelsior” and passed out on the couch. Maybe we’ll get more out of him once he sobers up. We hear there’s a shawarma place a couple blocks from here that does wonders.

In the meantime, if you’ve got an Avengers-themed beverage that you want to share with us, leave it in the comments!