Hi, my name is Don!

January 15, 2006May 29, 2006

Drunken master

It’s 9:30 in the morning and I’m still a littke fucked up right now from last night. I’m still sore from snowboarding and being drunk while you’re sore all over doesn’t help the situation get any better. When you’re drunk, you can’t walk straight. When you’re sore, you can’t walk straight. So when you’re drunk and sore you walk like a penguin.

Last night, there was a little party at Long’s house for my birthday. The guys picked up some chicken wing and General Tao’s chicken from Can Shen’s restaurant. We didn’t get to Long’s place until midnight or so. We weren’t even there for ten minutes when the neighbour came by and complained that we were being too noisy. They accused us of banging a hammer on the wall. I was in the living room the whole time and no one was banging on anything. I think it was that time of the month for her where she gets a bit cranky.

I didn’t eat much all day except maybe some cake so I grabbed a few chicken wings. Bad idea because I don’t know how much of that stayed in. I don’t quite remember how much came out either. I really wasn’t in that state of mind to estimate. But I don’t think I was drunk or nothing. I can remember the events of last night pretty clearly.

Alvin told us about this game where you pour pop into a cup. Then you take a shot glass and let it float in the pop. Later, you take turns pouring vodka into the shot glass. If you miss, you have to pour again. You keep pouring as much or as little as you want until the shot glass sinks. If you sink it, you get fucked up. You have to drink until the pop level is just below the rim of the shot glasses. Then you grab the shot glass and take a shot of that. The pop part was fine because it’s just pop. But the shot glass part, that hits you after a while. You’d assume that the vodka would mix with the pop while it was sunk but the laws of chemistry says otherwise. I guess vodka is more dense than pop so they don’t mix at all, like water and oil.

After a few rounds, I ended up taking two shots. The guys tried to get me take as much as they could. But my coordination was pretty good still and I managed to pass the bottle on over to Sang. Ricky had a ritual he did before he poured the vodka. He’d get up and start lifting up this pants and then letting it drop back to his hip. He’s hilarious, this guy, when he’s drunk. When he’s sober, his english is fluent. When he’s drunk, he sounds like a true chinaman.

Looking around the room, everyone that took a shot, all their faces were red. Which was a bit confusing to me because I hardly drink and my face was fine. Plus, I had four Heineken during the game. Around 2:00am or so I felt a little queasy. I headed for the washroom just in case. After that, I was done. I didn’t want to drink anymore. I was thinking of heading home, so the guys called me a cab. While hanging around the kitchen sink (don’t ask me how I got from the washroom to the kitchen sink) things started to get worse. There was no way I’d be able to make it downstairs and into the cab without throwing up. I had no choice but to crash at Long’s for the night.

Around 4:00am, the guys were still at it. I kept waking up every two hours for some reason. Then some girl came into the room and asked if I could sleep outside because Sarem needed the bed. The lights were off so I had no idea who she was. Apparenty, she knew my name. I walked outside and tried to sleep at the table. Sarem told me to go back into the room. When you’re half drunk and someone tells you to do something, you really not in the mood to argue. I just did whatever I could so I could get back to sleep. Or maybe I just dreamt that some girl told me to get out. Meh!

Now that I’m awake and hopefully back to normal, I can tell you that drinking isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. You can’t walk straight, you can’t see clearly and if anything comes out, it’s not pretty. So I’m still wondering why people continue to do it. It doesn’t make you feel any better. It didn’t affect my memory in any way. I wouldn’t consider it fun. Being drunk is pretty much like being sick. I hate being sick because all you can do it lay in bed and wait till you get better. I’ve got about two hours to get rid of any kind of hangover I’ve got before getting to work. If there’s any drunk at the library today, his ass is getting kicked out. I’m not tolerating anymore. If I can drink and still have control to stop when I hit my limits, I’m sure they can too.

As for those who hasn’t started drinking yet, I would advise you to stick to the pop. Alochol tastes bad, well, with the minor exception of those breezers and coolers and whatever. But it does you no good. Unless you’re a drunken master like me, you won’t be able to hold it in. Pop I can hold just fine. Alcohol, on the other hand, likes to come back out. Stay away from that.