I don't believe in ghosts or anything like that but I've had one
experience that I just can't explain.

So it was about a year ago when I had my paranormal encounter. I had
just woke up with a case of morning wood that would not go away away so
the only option at that point was to smack around the ol' one eyed
monster. It's important to note that my Dad and I had just moved into
this old, fixer upper, house and the bathroom was the only room with a
door. So everything's going just swell when the unexplainable happens...
I'm slapped square across the face mid jerk. What the fuck. So here I am
sitting on my toilet, dick in hand, trying to process what the fuck just
happened. I knew I didn't just imagine this and I'm pretty creeped out
at this point. I was so overwhelming confused I did the only thing I
could...I finished. So I can only assume this ghost or whatever stared
into my soul as it could see my vinegar strokes and was probably just as
disgusted with me as I was. And yeah... it was weird

TL;DR: Ghost caught me beating my meat and I guess it didn't like what
it saw