Beelzebub furious at Church of England over "Cassock lifters"

Beelzebub was quoted as "not being amused" at the ordination of gay bishops within the Church of England. While rotating his head and performing huge projectile vomits he growled "That Runcie needs to get a grip of these cassock lifters. It's one thing to be caught in bed with a goat but gay bishops is a step too far".

The devil, famed for his liberal approach to drug taking and murder firmly believes in a hetrosexual order and quotes the Catholic Church as a role model for teacher pupil relationships.