The Canonization of Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Catholic singer and songwriter Annie Karto inspired us behind These Stone Walls to honor Mother Teresa, a woman acclaimed in both life and death as a saint among us.

In the last few weeks on These Stone Walls, I have been writing about hope and interior darkness, also known as the “dark night,” a concept in Catholic mysticism made famous by The Dark Night of the Soul and other writings of the Spanish Carmelite mystic, Saint John of the Cross. I have tried to read it and find within it some consolation for my own dark night, but it might as well have been written in Klingon for all the sense I can make of it. Carmelite mysticism both draws me and repels me at the very same time. I stick with it, however, because sooner or later I am going to understand it. It’s hard to build an interior castle while living in 98 square feet of concrete and steel where even dark nights are taunted by the relentless glare of prison lights.

Interior darkness began to make more sense to me, however, as I read passages from the famous and controversial revelations in Mother Teresa’s Come Be My Light: The Private Writings of the Saint of Calcutta (Doubleday 2007). The book was controversial because when it was first published, much of the shallow, secular media immediately seized upon Mother Teresa’s interior darkness and expressions of doubt throughout her life. It’s as though we expect saints during their earthly lives to think, speak, and write from a teleprompter scripted by God Himself with nothing of the human showing through. From very early on in religious life, interior darkness for Mother Teresa was experienced as:

“profound interior suffering, lack of sensible consolation, spiritual dryness, an apparent absence of God in her life, and, at the same time, a painful longing for Him. She was not enjoying the light and consolation of God’s sensible presence, but rather striving to live by faith, surrendering with love and confidence to God… She had so progressed in that love that she could rise above the fear of suffering.” (Come Be My Light, p. 21-22)

I do not know why, but as I was typing that last sentence above I erroneously typed “that she could rise above the Sorrowful Mysteries.” The term kept coming back to me and I had to force myself to write the sentence just as it was written above from page 22 of Come Be My Light. So I paused just now, and thought for a moment about what it might mean to “rise above the Sorrowful Mysteries.” They are, after all, accompanied on either side by the Joyful ones and the Glorious ones. We are transfixed by the Sorrowful because that is where some of us spend much of our lives.

I pondered this for awhile, then came upon a clue much later in the book. In 1955, Mother Teresa began to encounter a new spiritual warfare within herself that she confided in a letter to Archbishop Ferdinand Perier. She described it as her new “traveling companion” which plagued her “from this point forward.” This loneliness was manifested in spiritual and emotional isolation, a sense of “separation from God and those she trusted most,” a separation that “made her cross harder to bear” (p. 157).

Archbishop Perier wrote back to Mother Teresa suggesting that another famous Saint Thérèse, the “Little Flower,” and “the great Saint Teresa” (the Doctor of the Church, Saint Teresa of Avila) also lived a spiritual interior martyrdom in their respective long dark nights. Then I remembered that awhile back, Michael Brandon wrote a post entitled “Father Gordon MacRae, The Sorrowful Mysteries, and the Big Picture” in which he quoted Saint Teresa of Avila and her famous rebuttal to God:

“Lord, if this is how you treat your friends, it’s no wonder you have so few!”

Now I have another example, an entirely new one, that required the right sort of receiver. This is really an ordinary story, but if your receiver is tuned to the right frequency open to the work of God in our lives, and even in our trials, it will give you a shiver of spiritual goosebumps. It’s off the topic a bit, but not really.

You might remember the article, “Mary is at Work Here” by Felix Carroll, Executive Editor of Marian Helper magazine. Part of the article is about our friend, Pornchai Maximilian Moontri, his Divine Mercy conversion, and our Marian Consecration that took place in 2013. One of the volunteers who facilitated our “33 Days to Morning Glory” retreat sent me a message about an interview he had with a Concord, NH Catholic radio station in which he spoke of Pornchai’s conversion story.

Here we were, in prison just a mile or two from that radio station, but neither Pornchai nor I owned a radio so we could not hear the interview. There’s a little AM/FM radio that we can purchase from a catalog of items prisoners here can have, but – like everything sold to prisoners – it was grossly overpriced so we lived without one.

But after missing out on hearing that interview, I decided that we need a radio. There might be something worth hearing in the radio waves all around us, but without the right receiver, we’re missing them. So the next time I needed to order socks and underwear and other supplies, I splurged for a radio.

It arrived three weeks ago, but it was a disappointment. When I inserted the batteries, I went right to the frequency for the Concord Catholic station, 102.7 FM, but heard only static. Only the closest and most powerful radio signals will penetrate these prison walls. I could only pick up two stations, a local rock music station, and National Public Radio. I don’t mean to offend anyone, but listening to NPR all day would very quickly turn a day in prison into a stint in Purgatory.

There’s a lot we miss without the right tools. You might recall that back in March 2016, Catholic singer and composer Annie Karto sent a message to me through The Wall Street Journal. Her message contained a link to a very special song and video that she produced for a Divine Mercy conference held in Florida. The video featured the image of me that appears on our “About” page on TSW, with the lyrics of her beautiful song, “Rise Up All People” superimposed over the video. TSW reader Mary DeBiase posted a link to it in a comment back then. Everyone who heard the song and saw the video said that it was wonderful to behold, but I never got to see it or hear it.

Then in June when I posted “Priesthood in the Real Presence and the Present Absence,” I heard from Annie Karto again in a message containing a link to another of her songs, “You Are a Priest Forever.” The lyrics were read to me, but from behind these stone walls I could not hear the music.

On August 17, the day we posted “In God We Trust: Living with the Author of Life,” something amazing happened. I had to go to the commissary at 8:30 AM to receive an order for postage, food and supplies I placed several days earlier. Everything was late that day. I wanted very much to walk in the ball field when it opened at 9:00, but came back with my order with just a minute to spare.

So I literally dumped my net bag full of groceries in my cell then ran for the door where I waited… waited … waited, staring at my watch. It opened, then closed behind me. Then a strange suggestion popped into my head: “Bring your radio.” It dawned on me just then that reception might be better in the ball field so I stayed at the door to be buzzed back in and waited and waited. Then I raced in, grabbed the radio, shoved it in my pocket, and raced out all before the pod door swung closed and locked again. Then I got in line at the guard station for a ball field pass… and waited… and waited. When it was my turn the guard held up the very last pass. My spirits fell as I decided to let the guy behind me have it, but he tapped me on the shoulder and said, “no, you go.” No time to argue! I took the pass and zipped out the door.

Outside, I raced to the ballfield and got there just as the door was closing. Once in, I got up the path onto the walking track that surrounds the field. Almost always, someone wants to walk and talk, but there was a baseball game starting and everyone else was watching the game. I had an hour all alone – and they call this punishment! HAH!

Around the field I walked, then took out my radio. Filled with hope, I put the ear buds in my ears and tuned it to 102.7 FM. A little static, but I could hear the station clearly. And what I heard just knocked my socks off!

“This is Teresa Tomeo and you’re listening to Ave Maria radio. It’s time to introduce our guest today. Singer/songwriter Annie Karto is here to talk about her music and her new CD, ‘Rise Up All People.’ Good morning, Annie…”

I risked being shot at from the tower as I reached out to grab the chain link perimeter fence to steady myself. Annie, who had no idea I was out there listening, let me hear “Rise Up All People,” a verse of which was dedicated to me in that video. And I heard others among her songs that were just beautiful. Then she cited the Letter of Saint Paul to the Ephesians, Chapter six, about putting on the armor of God, our first defense against spiritual warfare. And somehow, I knew then what I would be writing about for my August 31st post: “The Canonization of Saint Mother Teresa.”

THE NUN ON THE TRAIN

For it was only by donning the armor of God that the life of Mother Teresa – both in life and in death the living Saint of Calcutta – was lived in interior darkness while bearing the burdens of the world’s poor. Come Be My Light is at once wonderful, mystical, troubling, and inspiring. There is a clarity about suffering and spiritual warfare in what she wrote, but there is a deeper clarity in the words between the lines. God gifted her with an inner receiver to experience grace in the ordinary, the broken, the wounded, and alienated, and she became highly attuned to its frequency.

One crucial event in her life changed everything. In his great book, 33 Days to Morning Glory, the book and journey that brought about our Consecration that I described above, Father Michael Gaitley has a subheading entitled, “The Gift God Gave September 10th.” September 10 is Pornchai’s birthday, so when we got to it in that part of the retreat, he nudged me and pointed to the title, smiling. I just shook my head.

In that section, Father Gaitley described how Mother Teresa, as a happy and content young nun, just happened to be in the right place at the right moment on the day that was to change not only her life, but the mission and face of the Church in the Twentieth Century. The year was 1946 and she was alone on a train to Darjeeling. As the train passed through crowds of the world’s poorest of the poor, Mother Teresa saw them with eyes open, with the receptor of grace that God had instilled in her. She was stricken to her core by their poverty, and saw in them a command of Christ to dedicate her life in service to the poorest of the poor. She left her comfortable life and community, and founded the Missionaries of Charity.

On September 4, 2016, nineteen years to the day since leaving the world’s poor in the hands of the order she founded, the largest and strongest religious order in the world, and having put on the armor of God in spiritual warfare in triumph over the dark night of the soul, Mother Teresa will be canonized by Pope Francis, God willing, to become Saint Teresa of Calcutta. It is a day of great joy for the Church, and a day of hope and victory for us whose spiritual warfare continues.

“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the rulers of the world in this present darkness… Therefore take the whole armor of God, that you maybe able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having fastened the belt of truth around your waist, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the gospel of peace; besides all these, taking the shield of faith, with which you can quench all the flaming darts of the Evil One. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that utterance may be given me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to.” (Ephesians 6:10-20)

A note from Father Gordon MacRae:

I want to thank the many friends who have taken part in the apostolate of prayer through a 54-day Rosary Novena and other means. You are comrades-in-arms at a time of spiritual warfare, and I can only believe that injustice is made a lighter load by your prayers. More on this next week on The Wall Street Journal.

About Fr. Gordon J. MacRae

The late Cardinal Avery Dulles and The Rev. Richard John Neuhaus encouraged Father MacRae to write. Cardinal Dulles wrote in 2005: “Someday your story and that of your fellow sufferers will come to light and will be instrumental in a reform. Your writing, which is clear, eloquent, and spiritually sound will be a monument to your trials.” READ MORE

Comments

This has nothing to do with your writing of this week, which, of course, is wonderful. As usual. However, I noticed on my calendar that Max’s birthday is this Saturday. Too late to send him a letter or what would have to pass as a birthday card. Please give him my warmest wishes for God’s blessings. A letter will follow when I’ve finished a couple others in line before his.

Fr. MacRae,
I find all of your posts to be informative and of value for my own growth in the spirit.
Thank you for pointing out the many injustices that are going on in regards to your situation and in the world as a whole.
I pray for you every day and ask God to strengthen you and give you peace. Your Apostalic work in prison is beautiful even if you do not perceive it as such. You have raised up a beautiful congregation which is giving glory to God because of your faithfulness.
I am truly blessed by your prayers and your faithfulness as well. May God richly bless you always.
You are imprisoned injustly but you are called to be a priest even in the darkest night now but you are fulfilling your calling wonderfully.
Thank you so much for your faithfulness to God. It is truly inspiring to me and I am sure to others as well.
Thank you and God bless you and Pornchi and all the others there with you. Amen and Amen.

Dear Father Gordon, please know that your Radio story about hearing Annie Kartos song Rise Up All People on Teresa Tomeos Ave Maria show was a Miracle. I had the same experience after Mass a few weeks ago driving home I was listening to The show and she said here is Annie Karto singing LET FREEDOM Ring, another Great song! I was so happy for Annie that I texted her to let her know she was on the air. The difference being you had a transistor Radio! I I will pray for your Freedom and ask my Friends in California to pray also. Your story has reminded me to send my friend who is away in a Correction facility a Radio, tonight I made sure she has one! Bless you

Fr. Gordon,
Thank you for taking the time to write this blog.
God is in all the details. I love it how you got to listen to Annie’s song and interview. God is so good! At that point the radio became priceless!
In discerning the call to lay Carmelite I can totally relate to your comment on Carmelite mysticism!! I keep thinking maybe in heaven I will understand.
May you continue to see God’s hand in all your trials.
I will be praying for you, and sharing your blog with others.
Prayers, Laura

Father Gordon,I thank GOD OUE FATHER OF LOVE that you have your receptor of OUR FATHERS GRACE because through you being a receptor we are all blessed to pray, to surrender,to love ,to lay all our life down for OUR HOLY LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST AND FOR ONE ANOTHER.So thank you my brother for your obedience and faith for we are always blessed in ways YOU WILL NEVER KNOW .P.S. I never heard of Annie karto but I have just become a fan of her music. I just listened and watched her video “rise up people”. Praying for your release from those stone walls my brother , my pastor ,OUR LORDS HOLY PREIST IN THE HOLY,HOLY,HOLY NAME OF OUR LORD ANS SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST WHO WAS ,AND IS,AND IS TO COME .FOR HE IS DIVINE MERCY ,HE IS THE FONT OF MERCY,HE IS AN OCEAN OF ENDLESS MERCY,AMEN.

Dear Fr Gordon,
I realized that I commented in the reply section to Mary DeBiase’s post. Sorry for the mistake. In the time since I posted earlier today, I have emailed your blog to many of my friends and contacts asking them to pray for your release. My friend in Kansas leads a St Maximillian Kolbe
( your friend) Militia. She is copying your blog and taking it with her to their Fist Saturday meeting. Also I have asked “Our Sorrowful Mother’s ministry in Vandalia, IL to pray . My spiritual director is a Mercedarian priest and their charism is to ransom captives, so I have asked their community to pray also. After reading your blog this morning my husband said, “we must get him out”! I will continue to share your story

Dear Father Gordon,
I read you message here and felt as if you were writing for my personal edification. You struck a few chords for me. I have been thinking about Jesus’ warning about how we are not contending against flesh and blood but against principalities, against the powers, against the rulers of the world in this present darkness, and how we should not fear those who may merely kill the body, but those who can kill the soul. It is a Godincidence for me too that so often some verse or theme comes to my mind and then you write about that same verse or theme. I can only say thank you, Father, for reaching out to me. ( and I suspect many others )

May I ask a favor? I was vacationing recently and the priest at the parish we visited asked for prayers for one of his priest friends. Naturally he was not able to give much info but he did mention that this priest was having a crisis of sorts and asked his priest friend to pray for him and ‘get others to pray too!’ Would you please remember this unnamed priest in your prayers? While we do not know his name – Jesus does! God bless and sustain you, Father. And thank you for your brave example and for sharing how even the saints feel alone and frightened at times.

I like this metaphor of a radio receiver; it really describes how the soul works, in cooperation with the heart and mind, to receive the thoughts and inspirations of the Holy Spirit. And it circles back to the bleak night in which you heard the voice of Fr Benedict Groeschel in the hospital on your short-wave radio.

Dear Fr. Gordon, yes we pray for you daily (Liturgy of the Hours – Daily Mass) and especially all suffering priests. I just remembered that I read that St. John of the Cross wrote Dark Night of the Soul and other writings, while in a jail cell, put there by his brother monks, sad to say. But God always uses those who persecute us for His greater glory, so imagine how many have read St. John’s works and have been inspired to love and serve God with their lives. I know I have! Till we meet in Heaven, please pray for me too!
Deacon John Giglio

Dearest Father Gordon,
Your little radio and meger typewriter vs our iPhone, computers and iPads, how so very humbling! How so very much I want to drive from TX to NH to give you what I have, if only”they” would let you have it! I know about the ” dark night”, I believe every Christian goes through such a time a two or so, in their faith, as a very strong spiritual growth. It is one of those do or die moments. Peter denied CHRIST, spent the rest of His life defending Him, Judas betrayed Him couldn’t handle the guilt hung himself, Jesus’ hour was darker than any of ours will ever be, He rose up and went to the Cross, only to again RISE UP! If we chose to be still and know that He is God, through our darkness , evil will flee. The devil is always tempting, always annoying, always threatening, that is why we really have to ask the Holy Spirit inside of us to come and enlighten plus send the waring Angels to assist us. It is a real spiritual battle, and we are ALL heavily in it.
You are always in my heart and prayers I pray for your protection and release!! God’s justice will prevail!
I pray His awesome love engulfs you,
Anne Marie

Anne Marie, like you, it really hurts that prisons prevent us sharing even the little we have with our dear brothers and sisters who are incarcerated. I’m sure if there weren’t so many rules preventing Fr. Gordon from receiving packages, after reading about the miserable little radio he was able to order out of the permissible prison catalog, each of us would have been sending the very best battery operated radio that we could find on the market. Though Fr. Gordon had to “jump through many loops”, God did provide what we so wanted to provide. Let’s continue to storm heaven with our prayers, so that those Godincidences continue to flow down on Fr. Gordon in abundance! and surrounding him with all our love and thankfulness that we have in gratitude for his weekly writing. God love and bless you, each and every minute, Fr. Gordon.

LaVern,
If the prison rules were different and he could accept packages, he’d need several empty cells (as if there were such a thing there) for storage of everything people sent him. I’d knit him a hat. Or two. Something more classy than anything the prison supplies. And, I’d send tons of Peet’s coffee beans and a grinder. And a wing-backed chair to enjoy it in. And a foot stool. That concrete block needs to go.

Father G – I stopped reading at the first sentence as I did a double take: “In the last few weeks on The Wall Street Journal, I have been writing about hope and interior darkness, also known as the “dark night” ” – . OK, is it my misinterpretation, or did you not start with the fact that you are writing a couple of articles for the WSJ… and – [an italicized ] “what!” – no link to them?

I will read the rest of the article now, as I am a great fan of all three Teresa’s…the Spanish one, the French one, and now the Albanian/Indian one. …but had to get the double take out of my system!!!

Thank you for alerting me to this, Maria. I’m not sure how it happened, but that sentence should read “In the last few weeks on These Stone Walls…” I just asked for a correction which might take a bit of time. I have been posting some commentary in The Wall Street Journal lately. Also, I received your great letter and plan to write to you over the long weekend. With thanks and blessings, Father Gordon.

Dear Fr. Gordon,
As I read your post this morning, I was at a loss for words. As a Catholic singer/songwriter, I am always praying that God will use my voice as His tool for healing brokenness, lifting spirits, carrying His Love and Mercy into the airwaves to hearts in need. The fact that God allowed you to hear the song, “Rise Up All People” at the moment when I was being interviewed, proves once again, His Fatherly love and providence for you in particular, and for us all. Our God is so amazing! I want to publicly thank Mrs. Mary DeBiase for putting together the video for “Rise Up All People” Without her, the video would not have been possible. I am just completing a new song for soon to be “St Mother Teresa” titled “In the Shadow of our Lady” inspired by a book by the same title written by Fr. Joseph Langford, Missionaries of Charity who died a few years ago. Your post on Mother Teresa’s dark night is so beautiful. Only someone who has experienced such darkness could explain as you did so eloquently Mother’s faith in the darkness. Before she died, she told her good friend, Bishop Willam Curlin, ” My key to heaven is to love Him in the night. Bishop Carlin adds, ” Her goal had become simply to love the Lord and ask for nothing in return. Thank you Fr. Gordon, for “loving Him in the night” and continuing to strengthen us all in our own dark nights by your beautiful words. We are so very grateful, and continue to pray and work for your release.

As is normal for you, Fr. Gordon, you have, again, succeeded to minister to our dry souls just when some of us needed to hear that, when we’re not ‘sensing the presence of our God, He’s STILL here” with us. Thank you.

It’s hard for me to imagine YOUR “dark night”. You probably have the darkest one, I know, from anyone that I do know. Sometimes, thinking about how you are forced to live in those dire circumstances, being treated the way that you are, I shutter. I shutter at the fact that, not only do you live in dire stress, YOU DON’T EVEN DESERVE TO BE THERE! Surely Fr. Gordon, this, in itself, makes YOUR darkness even darker. It could ONLY be the Light of the Lord that sustains you. What else could it be? There is nothing else that I can think of. Probably, because there is NOTHING ELSE!

I am, also, thankful for your sharing of the ‘full armor of God’. You see, ironically (or dare I say, Godincidently) this past week, I started wondering if a certain statement that I’d heard, years ago, was actually true. It suggested that, when we put on the armor, we also do it for our children/grandchildren, if they are not walking with the Lord. Every morning, when I start prayers, one of the first things I do is: put on the armor. Not just for myself do I do this, but for ALL of my family members and loved ones who are NOT yet walking in the Light. I began wondering if this small prayerful action was, in reality, working on their behalf. After all, I was going beyond my kids and grandkids. Maybe I didn’t have the authority or right to do so. Somehow, today, reading your blog, there was a sort of confirmation in my soul that it is! What a relief! Loves it when God’s plans come together…and I especially like it when it comes from YOU! So, thanks again, Fr. Gordon, for YOUR sharing.

Father Gordon, I giggled a little when I read your words, “…. listening to NPR all day would very quickly turn a day in prison into a stint in Purgatory”, because, I thought you were already in hell. Purgatory, I think, would be a vacation for you.

The Canonization of Mother Teresa is really exciting. What is it about actually experiencing the saintedness of people who lived when I did? It seems to bring reality to the forefront. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll be around to see yours, but I am still looking forward to it! (Hmm…guesses YOU won’t be around, either)!

Thanks, too, go to Annie Karto for her beautiful recording. I love the story of how YOU got to hear it. I love it even more that she sang about YOU in your persecution.
Praise God that He is drawing so much attention to you and your plight, from so many different directions. The more attention given to you, the more prayers are being forced upon the gates of Heaven on your behalf. So, Lord God, let it rip!!

I just want to keep on writing but I will stop here. After all, YOU are the focus of these blogs, not me!

God bless and free you, Fr. Gordon. I am so looking forward to having coffee with you, some day, on THIS side of Those Stone Walls! (You do drink coffee, yes/no?).

Helen, you KNOW Fr. Gordon drinks coffee. Well, he drinks what they serve as coffee there. And the biggest part of his food packages are instant coffee. INSTANT COFFEE.!!!! Don’t they allow him to order REAL coffee? When he gets out, he is in for a real taste treat. And there will be a LONG, LONG line of people waiting to share a cup of coffee with him. So many, that by the time everyone is satisfied, Fr. Gordon will be swimming in coffee.