'In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer'- Camus

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Opticians,Chemist, Town, Gym, Garage, Accidents and stuff

Busy day, went opticians, got prescription, been garage, went to town for 4 hours and been to gym. Just sat down for first time. But having spent the past few weeks doing not much else but staying in doors mostly sitting, it is a refreshing change.

My mum had an accident today fell out of loft and cracked head open had to go A and E, so that was a worry, however for once my brother offered to take her which was a relief on two accounts. Firstly, I have spent too much time up there recently, and secondly almost on a first name basis with the triage nurses, neither of which my mum knows about. I did slip up though as told her where to go to sign in etc and she said- how do you know? but think I managed to cover myself. I know you're probably wondering why I haven't told my mum. I have my reasons. Firstly, and quite sadly, I feel my mentalness would be a let down to her as out of my sibling I am the 'sucessful one' and secondly she tends to over-react. When she knew I was going up hospital to see cpn once she was sure I was being sectioned. If you think mentalness is nothing to be ashamed of then you tell that to the woman at the gym this evening who saw the scars on my arm and told me I was 'disgusting' - lucky for me and her I am in a place where I don't care what other people think only those close to me.

Who am I?

A woman struggling daily with my personal mental demons, lots of contradictions, plenty of mental noise and some ramblings.
Current diagnonsense = Bipolar I rapid cycling.(i.e Up , down, up , up, down up- without the pattern etc etc)
Any questions then either comment or email me at lareve@hotmail.co.uk. I am also on twitter and Facebook. All views welcome but please be kind.