Magilla Scrotilla

There’s only one excuse for Chloe Sevigny Hott to be lugging around this Magilla Scrotilla like a simian side purse. He’s in the W.W.E.

I’ll give a Get of Douche Jail Free card to any professional entertainers whose job it is to look ginormous. No official ‘bag status for, say, Hulk Hogan. So if Magilla’s a famous bulky performer who needs to go around shirtless, he gets a pass.

Otherwise, shirtless uber-douche. Stamped on his forehead. Preferably in pink. Or teal.

Oh Chloe. Your cleavite beckons me with the siren call of a thousand drunk bluejays. I don’t know what that means. Boobies.