Everyone knows someone we’d be better off without
Best not mention names for we know not whose about
But why commit a murder, and risk the fires of Hell
When Black Widows in the privy can do it just as well.

Now poisons good, and daggers, and arrows in the back
And if you’re really desperate you can try a front attack
But are they worthy of the risk of being caught,
When Black Widows in the privy
Need not be bribed or bought?

So if there’s one, of whom you wish most simply to be rid
Just wait till dark then point the way to where the Widow’s hid
And say to them, I think you’ll find that this one is the best
And Black Widows in the privy
Will gladly do the rest.