Harry Styles sues potential merch bootleggers ahead of Nashville show

Harry Styles is the latest artist to go legal over theoretical bootleg merchandise. Though I think he’s missing a trick here. Rather than suing over theoretical bootleg merchandise, he should just start selling his own official theoretical merchandise.

Think about it. It’s a massive untapped market. Would you like to buy a theoretical Harry Styles t-shirt? Ten dollars please. How about a conceptual Harry Styles beanie hat? Twenty dollars thank you very much. We’ve also got a limited supply of notional Harry Styles posters that only exist in a speculative parallel university. Thirty dollars. What a business! It’s a 100% profit margin. If you can convince the government to accept theoretical VAT.

Anyway, according to TMZ, Live Nation has filed a lawsuit against unnamed and unknown individuals who may or may not be planning to sell bootleg Harry Styles merch outside the Nashville venue he’s due to play next week. It’s similar to the legal action recently taken by Live Nation’s merch division in Boston ahead of some Coldplay shows there.

The live giant wants a court order that will empower police to confiscate any counterfeit merch that they find people trying to sell outside Styles’ Nashville show. Though you just try confiscating my theoretical merch. You can seize my bootleg Harry Styles branded tote bag, but you can’t take away the idea of my bootleg Harry Styles branded tote bag.