The art of the slow fade

Back when we were in our 20s and dating, my friends and I used to call it “the slow fade.”

You would meet someone and think you really like him. You would call your friends up and giggle and tell them how smart and wonderful he was. The first few dates or even months were great. You were totally smitten.

But then slowly, a combination of actions, comments and/or certain behaviors from your new beloved began to take the luster off the relationship and him. Soon, seemingly out of nowhere, you just couldn’t take the way he chewed his food or even the sight of his stupid face.

You definitely wanted him gone. Banished from your life forever. But you had had some good times and you knew he wasn’t evil incarnate or anything, so you didn’t want to have to just outright break up with him either.

So you would begin the “slow fade.”

What is the slow fade? A litany of lame excuses would be made why you couldn’t go out with him. It was never that you just didn’t like him anymore. Your mom needed help cleaning out her closets. Or you were washing your hair all weekend.

The guy would be left thinking, “Does she not want to see me anymore? No, it couldn’t be that. I guess her mom may really need her help.” OR “I guess he hair did look kind of greasy. ”

But then he would slowly get the picture as phone calls and texts gradually stopped being returned. He would eventually stop trying. And mission accomplished: the slow fade was complete.

This is not just a girl-on-guy tactic. Guys certainly do this to the ladies they lose interest in as well. And apparently so do presidents who fall out of love with their attorney generals — though the actions of President Donald Trump against his attorney general and our former U.S. Senator Jeff Sessions over the last week have been far more overt, indicating this may be more of a “rapid fade.”

We all saw the beginning of their relationship. Sessions was the first U.S. senator to endorse Trump in February 2016, lending credibility to a campaign that had largely been written off as a joke. When Trump circled his golden jet over Ladd-Peebles Stadium later that year in August and then spoke to a crowd of thousands, he awkwardly placed one of his “Make America Great Again” hats on Sessions’ head. Insert heart emoji here. Swoon!

Trump praised Sessions at that rally, calling him a “great politician.” The love fest would continue between the two through the election and, of course, Trump’s long-shot victory. Sessions would ultimately be rewarded for his loyalty with his dream job of U.S. Attorney General.

But once Sessions recused himself from the Russia investigation, Trump’s love for him began to fade. And that fade seemed to go into overdrive when Trump’s own son and son-in-law started getting more scrutiny because of their meeting with a Russian lawyer who was offering up dirt on Hillary during the campaign.

In an unprecedented, very public attack by a sitting president on his own attorney general, Trump told The New York Times last week he never would have appointed Sessions if he had known he was going to recuse himself.

His criticism didn’t end there either.

On Monday, he said via Twitter, “After 1 year of investigation with Zero evidence being found, Chuck Schumer just stated that ‘Democrats should blame ourselves, not Russia.’” Trump later added, “So why aren’t the Committees and investigators, and of course our beleaguered A.G., looking into Crooked Hillarys [sic] crimes & Russia relations?”

Later that day at an event with White House interns Trump rolled his eyes and smirked when asked if Sessions should resign. The interns all laughed.

Ouch.

And on Tuesday, the president added, “Attorney General Jeff Sessions has taken a VERY weak position on Hillary Clinton crimes (where are E-mails & DNC server) & Intel leakers!”

Geez. How humiliating for our former senator.

Reports claim Sessions has not spoken to Trump since the New York Times article, but I am pretty sure Trump will be busy washing that stuff he calls hair if Jeff does try to call.

Clearly, the thrill is gone between these two.

Sessions has tried to keep the relationship going, saying he will remain in office as long as it’s “appropriate.”

But nothing is appropriate about this situation.

The anger the president has expressed toward Sessions is absolutely ridiculous. Just about every legal scholar who has spoken on the matter said Sessions had no choice but to recuse himself. And just the manner in which Trump expressed his displeasure is such a demeaning and unprofessional way to treat a member of your own Cabinet. #SAD

It makes me feel kind of sorry for Sessions, who gave up a gig he could have had until they carried him out of the Capitol in a pine box (though I’m sure it would have been fancier than pine).

He got his dream job, though — one he described as going “beyond anything that I would have ever imagined for myself.” And I am sure it was, for a boy from a small town in rural Wilcox County, Alabama.

But to get that dream job he had to hitch his wagon to that of a very erratic, crazy person. Perhaps he didn’t realize just how unstable that person was back when he first endorsed him (I don’t think a lot of people did). But I bet he sure does now.

Sen. Richard Shelby and Congressman Bradley Byrne of Alabama have both voiced their support of Sessions, as have other Republicans, including Sens. Lindsey Graham, Thom Tillis and Rob Portman, among others.

But it will be interesting to see what happens next.

Will Sessions resign if he continues to get Twit-lashed by the president or will he make Trump fire him? If he does fire him, whoa! Imagine the poo-storm that will cause. Well, at least until the next one (which will probably occur three to four days later.) #sotiredofthisconstantturmoil

Either way, how will Republicans respond to this? Will this be the move that causes the GOP to break away from the president? Or will the fear of the base of the party (who will certainly side with Trump on the matter) make them keep mum?

How will Alabamians react? Will they lose the love for Trump because he is dumping on a fellow Alabamian or just help Trump pile on more?

And what will happen to Sessions if he does lose his post by termination or resignation?

Who knows at this point? Maybe he will retire. Maybe he will consider a run for governor. Maybe he will just sit in a dark room reconsidering why he ever aligned himself with the Donald in the first place.

Or perhaps he might even try to run as an independent for his old seat against one of the many unappealing choices trying to gain it. That would certainly be an unexpected twist!

In any case, all of this nonstop political drama is really starting to “beleaguer” me. Can we please put the slow fade on it?

About The Author

Ashley Trice is the editor and publisher of Lagniappe Weekly, which she co-founded with fellow publisher Rob Holbert in July 2002. Lagniappe has steadily grown from a 5,000 circulation biweekly into the 30,000 weekly newspaper it is today.
Originally from Jackson, Alabama, she graduated cum laude from the University of South Alabama in 2000 with a BA in communications and did some post graduate work at the University of Texas. She was in the 2011 class of Mobile Bay Monthly’s 40 Under 40. She is the recipient of the Award for Excellence in In-Depth Reporting by the Mobile Press Club and for Humorous Commentary by the Society of Professional Journalists. In 2015, she won a national writing award presented by the Association of Alternative Newsmedia for “Best Column.”
She is married to Frank Trice and they live in Midtown with their children Anders and Ellen, and dog Matti.