I'd rather be having a quiet drink... and can be followed on Twitter @alcothusiast; and friended on Untappd (handle: "neilcake" - all welcome).

Tuesday, 28 February 2017

Spirit Log: Whyte & Mackay's, The Thirteen

I
think I’ll eschew all the over-detailed prevarication for once, and
just jump straight in with this one. This is the next Whyte &
Mackay blend up from their standard Special expression. Funny
how the scotch industry is always calling the most basic expressions
special and signature and reserve… it makes it
sound like they are the cream of the distillery’s output, when in
fact they’re the worst, and could easily put you off trying
anything more expensive from the distillery in question.

Anyway, I got massively soaked footing it hotly over to Asda one
lunchtime in order to take advantage of a pretty good deal. It was
£17.50 for 70cl, and while the label at Asda didn’t indicate that
this was any discount on the normal price, all the standard online
retailers were selling it at £17.94 (or, in one case £22.57) before
P&P. That makes it at least £5 cheaper for a start.
According to Bring a Bottle, the price generally tops out at
around £23, and has been as low as £17, so for now, this seems like
a decent (if not outstanding) pay day deal.

Now,
I have tried the Special before, and I remember thinking it was ok,
but I also remember using it to add a bit of a kick to my cans of
Holsten Pils on occasion – so a pretty standard but decent cheap
brand name blend. All I remember of The Thirteen is that it
was part of a blind tweet tasting when I was a member of TheManchester Whisky Club, and that everyone was impressed with it.
There’s a possibility that some of us thought it was a single malt.
It will be interesting then, to see what I think of it now.

Let’s
first have a little look at what the rest of the internet thinks
about it. The Whisky Exchange introduces it with, “believed by many
to be the best value of the range” which isn’t saying much as,
excepting the bottom of the range special, the rest of the
range costs £150 and up. So it really just has to be better quality
and value than the Special to achieve that particular accolade.

The
user reviews on TWE are exclusively favourable, but none say anything
interesting enough to repeat here – except one that describes the
presentation as “masculine” and a welcome change from “French
perfums [sic] like bottlings”.

User
reviews at the other most useful online supplier, Master of Malt,
veer violently from one side to the other. On the negative side we’ve
got “for me is just water… almost no taste”, “worst and
cheapest 12 years old or more whisky I ever taste”, “made me
shudder… barely drinkable”, and “Richard Paterson should be
ashamed!”

You
might be wondering who Richard Paterson is. I was. He’s Whyte &
Mackay’s master blender, and appears to look like a cross between
Allo Allo’s Rene and Des Lynam.

On
the other side of the fence though, we have “one big surprise…
and I was quick to buy another bottle”, “anyone that says this is
a poor whisky doesn’t know what they’re talking about”,
“Lovely… a great dram”, and, the best of all, “I am from
America and all my gay friends love this whisky.”

I’ve
read a couple of amateur blogs that have been to Whyte andMackay’swebsite, and are making a thing out of a so-called
“triple maturation process”. One in particular claims that the
whiskies are aged in sherry casks for 12 years, before the grain and
malt whiskies are then married for a further year. I’ve got to say
though, the detail on the website is a little vague. First off it
says they choose “the finest aged single malts and and aged grain
whiskies from… Highland and Speyside”. The thing to note there is
the use of the word “aged”. So these whiskies have already been
aged, but for how long?

Next
they age the malt whisky (carefully – whatever that means) and
separately age the grain whisky (less carefully, it seems), but they
don’t tell us how long for. Then these are married in sherry casks.
It’s really not enough information, is it?

“I
believe our triple maturation process gives the blend the key to its
success – time. Time to harmonise and time to form a perfect union:
an ideal partnership.”

And
that’s it. What a load of useless bullshit. Triple maturation. Part
of that maturation would seem to have been done by the original
distillers! At least it does if you can understand English and use
that understanding to interpret the words as presented.

This
triple maturation is lauded as being unique, but is it? All it is, is
taking some malt whisky and blending it, taking some grain whisky and
blending it, aging them for a bit, blending them, and then aging them
a bit more.

So
is it any good? Well, on first opening I was very impressed. This
is a touch above the standard blended scotch fare, I
thought to myself, as it should be, given that it’s a touch more
expensive, too. But… I came to be less impressed over time. My
favourite whiskies tend to improve for a few months after you’ve
opened them. Low cost blends probably tend to stay about the same.
This one started good, then regressed to the level of a
standard blended scotch; a little harsh, a little sweet, fine for
drinking early in the evening or following closely on the heels of a
beer, but not something I’d recommend you pay that bit extra for on
a regular basis – or even more than once. It is probably marginally
better than the Whyte & Mackay Special overall.

Definitions

What happens when you zone out after having had a cheeky lunchtime pint.

Alcothusiast:

Not an alcoholic, someone who appreciates booze.

Anxiety, The:

The uneasy feeling that accompanies any noteworthy hangover.

Booze Buffet Mentality:

The propensity people have to go nuts whenever there's a free bar.

Booze Porn:Photos of alcohol.

Bread Chest:Not booze related, but this term describes the indigestion you get from eating too many bread products too quickly. Just putting it out there...

Crawler's Block:The inability to decide where to go next during a pub crawl - often resulting in crawl stagnation and someone saying, "shall we just have another one here?"

Crawl Stagnation:The result of failing to plan a pub crawl sufficiently - lack of a route, theme or over-familiarity with nearby pubs can all be contributing factors.

Excess Induced Alcohol Aversion:An intolerance for a drink caused (usually) by one occasion of overindulgence.

The Family:My whisky collection.

MOMA:

Moment of Maximum Appreciation. Every bottle has one. It's the time you drink it where you enjoy it most.

Old Man Pub:Traditional British pub, renowned for being quiet, cosy and frequented by old men. Much favoured by people who like a nice chat while they drink.Psychological Drinks Cabinet:Collective term relating to the kinds of alcoholic drinks a person has need for.Road Beers:

Cans of beer that you take with you when you go out, to consume on the way.

The 3 Types of Rum:White, gold and dark. Together they form the base of many a great cocktail.

About Me

Neil Cake is interested in all types of booze, but is by no means an authority or expert. Most of the time he's just trying to be funny, but he is learning, and enjoys sharing his adventures and what he learns on the Drink it How You Like it blog.
Thengyuverrymuuuuuch.