One girl's twistedly fantastic interpretation of what the hell is really going on in those tribes.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Laura - Christian Hypocrite

I'm going to continue to write my first impressions before I watch the videos. I kind of like discovering if I'm right on or completely wrong in my assumptions.

Today we meet 39 year old Laura Morett. A mother of 3 and a grandmother of 1. What?!? She's a grandmother at 39? Yikes. Oh dear... this could explain it... she's a conservative Christian. Oh hell no. I cannot deal with another Elizabeth Hasselbeck in the world. Laura loves nothing better than to ride her Harley and rally politically around her state of Oregon. Oh... it gets worse. Since her daughter had a child when she was 18, Laura likes to call herself the "fit version of Sarah Palin".

Laura enjoys Christian music *stabs self in ear* and studying women's ministry *grabs a pitchfork*. She bosses around other couples at her church and tells them her marriage is one to be idolized. Not really. It says here that she counsels couples, but I interpret that as her simply telling them what to do.

Laura says she wants to win purely for the money. I can't hold that against her I guess. She also says that she won't compromise her faith to get it. Uh oh. OK now this I will hold her to. If she does anything remotely anti-Christian I will call her on it. I will shout from the rooftops what a liar and a hypocrite she is and, believe you me, it will be relentless. There's nothing I can't stand more than bible toting in a reality show.

OK now I'm going to watch her video myself and see how right I am.

*begins penning a song entitled 'Christian Hypocrite'*

Uh yeah she's annoying. She's very cute, but she rambles and keeps repeating herself. Who's she trying to convince? Us or herself? Anyhow, she won't make it far at all. I'm thinking she'll be one of the first 3 out and when that happens I'll be saying, "Good Riddance!" I'm not having much luck with reality contestants named Laura this year, am I?

These kind are the worst and I hope there is a hotter place in HELL for people like her her is so obviously VAIN points out everyone else's sin while drowning in their own. Like the old saying goes, "I rather sleep with a drunken cannible than a sober christian" or vice versa. Anyway, these kind are all the same, telling everyone else what they are doing wrong while they sit on their mighy throne beating everyone in the head with the Bible and pretending to be the keeper of the pearly gates. EWHHHHHH.