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Legal gay marriage in all 50 states has been the law of the land for 96 hours now and the sky isn’t falling, straight married couples aren’t getting divorced due to the change, the black plague didn’t reemerge, we didn’t have to sacrifice a virgin to stop volcano’s from erupting, no one turned into a pillar of salt, there was no rioting, no looting, no anarchy, no national guard, no EMS alert on tv, nope, none of that happened at all. Barack Obama is still the president, Fox News is still racist, wall street continues to screw everyone out of their retirements, the sun still rises in the east and sets in the west, and Socially Urban Blog is still the most amazing source for progressive commentary :-). Yep, all of that is still as it was before. People woke up and went to work, or to school, or did nothing just like every day prior to gay marriage being legal. Other than the whining from republicans and a few silly angry posts predicting the end of the world from a few misguided (but well-meaning) panic-prone people on social media, life went on as usual and this Monday seemed no different from the Monday of last week. But for gay people like me I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to know that my government, who I pay taxes to, will no longer tell me I deserve less rights just because I’m gay. I wish I could describe that feeling but words will not do it justice.

Tonya R Isom

Finally getting full marriage equality was inconceivably extraordinary and life changing for me, but of course there was an immediate and somewhat predictable backlash brewing as well. Some of the anti-gay homophobic posts on so many people’s timelines that I have on my friends list kinda threw me for a loop. Usually I try not to take too much of it personal but sometimes it’s hard to just brush it off. Right in the middle of all the negativity I got a message from a friend that almost brought me to tears. It was so simple and unexpected. Tonya R. Isom sent me a 3 word message along with a picture of the White House lit in rainbow gay pride colors. Those 3 words were “I support you“. It was simple, elegant, heartfelt and timed perfectly to snap me out of the creeping darkness I began to feel while reading all of the negativity. I don’t know how she knew I needed that, but I’m so thankful that something touched her heart and lead her to throw me a lifeline right when I needed it most.

After getting her message I decided to take a little social media sabbatical Saturday and Sunday. I had to remind myself that I’m not here to make people happy or to convince people that they should accept me. I’m in charge of my happiness and it’s going to take a whole lot more than a few facebook posts to get me down, or to take away the joy I felt after hearing the court’s decision. I’m not deleting anyone, I’m through trying to convince people that I deserve the same rights they have, and I’m through showing respect to those who show me disrespect. At the end of the day, gay marriage is legal, it’s a done deal, settled once and for all by the highest court in our judicial system. Those who oppose it or those who think it’s wrong, their opinions became completely irrelevant on Friday June 26 2015 at approximately 10 am eastern standard time. But fret not; it’s never too late to educate and evolve. Just know that love and justice will always be triumphant over negativity and fear. ‪#‎MarriageEquality‬ ‪#‎DamnTheHaters‬

IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE

To those who may have posted angry homophobic comments, I have nothing but love in my heart for you and I wish you no ill will or harm. To those misguided souls who posted inflammatory meme’s and pics designed to invoke fear or stroke public outrage, I harbor no hate in my heart and will not make negative judgments about your character. However I will lend some advice. Before reposting a meme from someone else’s page, please do a little research to find out if it’s true or not. In my experience, the more inflammatory the information is, the more likely the information is a fraud. One really good resource to search for a reposts or meme’s authenticity is http://www.snopes.com. They recently debunked a set of photos depicting Jesus kissing a man at what looked like a gay pride parade. All of those photos were taken 3+ years ago all at different times, and all outside of the United States. 2 were from Brazil as a part of a performance art project. None of them were in response to the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize gay marriage here in the US a few days ago. Whoever created the set of photos wanted to outrage Christians and make them hate gays even more. I’m sure he’s very happy at the response because it accomplished exactly what he intended it to. But I refuse to let dirty tactics like this divide us. I hope we can all take this as a learning experience and avoid divisive tricks like this in the future.

This has been a huge week for our prestigious Supreme Court. They delivered monumental rulings that will dramatically change this great country. The rulings that garnered the most attention were the Voting Rights Act ruling, the Defense of Marriage Act ruling, and California’s Prop 8 ruling. Preceding all three of those by a few days there was another Supreme Court ruling that didn’t get much attention at all. I believe it’s just as significant and monumental as the three I named, but I’ll put that one aside for the moment and comment on the three attention grabbers first. Afterward I’ll explain what the lesser known ruling is and how it will impact the direction of our country.

I’ll start with the good news first. At approximately 9am the United States Supreme Court handed down a decision that struck down DOMA (the defense of marriage act) which lifted the federal ban on gay marriage. With a 5-4 vote Justice’s Ginsburg, Breyer, Sotomayor, Kagan and Kennedy all voted in favor of lifting the ban and Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote the majority opinion which states “The federal statute is invalid, for no legitimate purpose overcomes the purpose and effect to disparage and to injure those whom the State, by its marriage laws, sought to protect in personhood and dignity. By seeking to displace this protection and treating those persons as living in marriages less respected than others, the federal statute is in violation of the Fifth Amendment.” Of course the dissenting Justice’s were Roberts, Scalia, Alito, and Thomas. All four are ultra conservatives so their opposition to gay marriage is no secret. Now that DOMA was ruled unconstitutional by the highest court in the land, legal gay marriage in all 50 states is all but certain. Immediately following the DOMA decision the court ruled on California’s Prop 8. Prop 8 was a ballot measure in California that wanted to define marriage as 1 man and 1 woman. Before this ballot measure gay marriage was legal in California. After Prop 8 reversed legal gay marriage in California, a federal court in San Francisco struck it down on the grounds that it unfairly discriminated against gays and lesbians who wished to marry. California’s governor and state attorney refused to take the case to the Supreme Court because they were supporters of gay marriage, so an outside anti-gay organization decided to argue the validity of Prop 8 in the place of the state attorney to the Supreme Court (which has never been done before). In another 5 to 4 vote the Supreme Court decided that a private organization did not have legal standing to appeal after the ballot measure was struck down by a federal judge… thus killing Prop 8 and legalizing gay marriage in the state of California once again. Both of these historic rulings fills me with optimism and reaffirms my belief that this country really is the land of the free.

This week the Supreme Court also ruled on the constitutionality of the Voting Rights Act. In a 5 to 4 decision their ruling on this matter shakes the very foundation of my aforementioned reaffirmed optimism. This decision guts the very heart of the Voting Rights Act freeing nine mostly southern states to change their election laws without advance federal approval. Republican governors wasted no time rushing to file numerous new voting restrictions in every state where they have legislative control. Most of these new voter laws were blocked due to federal law during the last election. Congress has the power to redraw the map of states where voting laws need more scrutiny, but any action is unlikely as long as republicans hold a majority in the house. The GOP’s reaction to this new ruling is further evidence that they are aware that a large majority of American’s do not agree with their ideology and they know keeping minorities away from the polls is the only way they can win any future election. I believe their constant overreaching will hurt them in the midterm elections next year. The more they fight minorities and gays, the more determined and involved we become.

Now here’s the ruling you probably haven’t heard about. The gay marriage and the voting rights rulings made headlines all across the country and lead every newscast for days. They were huge stories so of course they deserved huge attention. But there was another Supreme Court ruling this past week that should have gotten just as much attention as the other three rulings did. Unfortunately the “powers that be” minimize the news coverage when it involves corporations flexing their power to stay above the law. American Express (huge credit card conglomerate) appeared before the Supreme Court to bar a class-action claim against them. A group of small restaurant owners joined together to sue American Express claiming that the company engaged in monopolistic business practices to force the merchants to accept their new credit card (with higher merchant fees) after they signed an agreement to accept their debit cards. This put the merchants in difficult position because they could not afford the higher fees, but losing the ability to accept AmEx debit cards would hurt their business as well. So the small group of restaurant owners banded together to sue American Express. American Express did not want a court jury trial and they challenged the merchants right to join together for a class-action suit. Instead they wanted arbitration (controlled by an arbiter of American Express’s choice) with each merchant independently. That’s how this legal issue ended up in front of the Supreme Court. To me, this seems like such an easy ruling. No corporation should be able to dictate the terms of which they are being sued for. But 5 out of 8 Justices did not share this opinion. They decided that the merchants could not band together, but not only that the Justices also ruled that American Express can force a merchant into an arbitration controlled by them. WTF? When did corporations get more rights than an American citizen? This ruling says corporations can deflect any lawsuit brought against them from this point on. Where’s the accountability? In a strongly worded dissent, Justice Elena Kagan said the decision means “the monopolist gets to use its monopoly power to insist on a contract effectively depriving its victims of all legal recourse.” The ruling was the third in three years to shut down class-action efforts brought on behalf of employees, consumers and now small-business owners. Lawyers on both sides of the issue said the court’s conservative wing was determined to shield companies from these broad lawsuits. The court has taken another big step down the road of permitting companies to use arbitration agreements to entirely insulate themselves from class-action liability. Even more proof that right wing conservatives do not give a damn about the people they are supposed to represent, and despite their rhetoric claiming to champion small businesses, their actions paint an entirely different picture.

The coolest most awesomest thing ever happened today. Jason Collins an NBA basketball player for the Washington Wizards came out as a proud gay African American man. This guy has no idea how many young African American men he’s helping by coming out. When you live in a small town in the bible belt of America all you hear is negative things about being gay and it can make you feel extremely lonely and isolated. After a while you start to believe all the negative things and begin to hate yourself. Seeing someone like Jason Collins come out can help change that… and that is a very huge big deal.

When Jason was a student at Stanford he became very good friends with Chelsea Clinton and the Clinton family. After he made his announcement today, Chelsea and her father former president Bill Clinton released statements.

President Bill Clinton’s statement:

I have known Jason Collins since he was Chelsea’s classmate and friend at Stanford. Jason’s announcement today is an important moment for professional sports and in the history of the LGBT community. It is also the straightforward statement of a good man who wants no more than what so many of us seek: to be able to be who we are; to do our work; to build families and to contribute to our communities. For so many members of the LGBT community, these simple goals remain elusive. I hope that everyone, particularly Jason’s colleagues in the NBA, the media and his many fans extend to him their support and the respect he has earned.

Chelsea Clinton’s statement:

I am very proud of my friend Jason Collins for having the strength and courage to become the first openly gay athlete in the NBA. His decision marks an important moment for professional sports and for our country. I echo what my father said in his statement and similarly hope that everyone, particularly Jason’s colleagues in the NBA, the media and his many fans extend to him their support and the respect he has earned.

After receiving a ton of public support via twitter, here’s Jason’s response:

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to me thru email, texts, calls, tweets, letters, and every other form of communication. #support
— Jason Collins (@jasoncollins34) April 29, 2013

Oprah to NBA Player Jason Collins: “You Are a Pioneer”

The day NBA center Jason Collins sat down to tell his coming-out story to a reporter from Sports Illustrated, he read a quote from the daily prayer book his grandmother gave him. Watch as Oprah recites the quote and asks Jason how it felt to take off the mask he’d been wearing for so many years. Plus, find out how Jason’s liberation has affected him—emotionally and physically.

Comedian Tracy Morgan has come under fire lately because of some homophobic remarks he made during his live comedy show in Tennessee about a week ago. The first half of this blog is taken from a post written by a man named Kevin Rogers who was in attendance at the show and was deeply offended by Mr. Morgan’s hate speech. The second part of this blog is my response to all of this. And the last part is a small update on everything that has happened since this incident first began.

So tonight was the night, Tracy Morgan in the hallowed halls of the Ryman Auditorium. The show was your typical hysterical dick, cum and pussy humor… I have to say it was hilarious and well worth at least 40% of the $86 we spent per ticket to see him. I figured at some point the gay jokes would fly and I’m well prepared for a good ribbing of straight gay humor. I have very thick skin when it comes to humor; I can dish and I can take. What I can’t take is when Mr. Morgan took it upon himself to mention about how he feels all this gay shit was crazy and that women are a gift from God and that “Born this Way” is bullshit, gay is a choice, and the reason he knows this is exactly because “God don’t make no mistakes” (referring to God not making someone gay cause that would be a mistake). He said that there is no way a woman could love and have sexual desire for another woman, that’s just a woman pretending because she hates a fucking man. He took time to visit the bullshit of this bullying stuff and informed us that the gays needed to quit being pussies and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying. He mentioned that gay was something kids learn from the media and programming, and that bullied kids should just bust some ass and beat those other little fuckers that bully them, not whine about it. He said if his son that was gay he better come home and talk to him like a man and not [he mimicked a gay, high pitched voice] or he would pull out a knife and stab that little N (one word I refuse to use) to death. He mentioned that Barack Obama needed to man up and quit being all down with this just because he has a wife and two daughters. All of this being followed by thunderous cheer and “You go Tracys”. Tracy then said he didn’t fucking care if he pissed off some gays, because if they can take a fucking dick up their ass… they can take a fucking joke. The sad thing is that none of this rant was a joke. His entire demeanor changed during that portion of the night. He was truly filled with some hate towards us.

MY RESPONSE:

Kevin Rogers story was SHOCKING to me. Out of all the stories I read about this incident, none of them actually quoted anything that Tracy Morgan said. So because of this, I felt like maybe it was something small that got blown up by the press. But after reading this, I do not see how any journalist could write an honest and truthful piece about this without letting the reader know exactly what was said. His actual words were far beyond anything I had imagined. This has totally changed my opinion of Tracy Morgan. I was fan, but now I’ll never watch or listen to anything he puts out ever again. What he said can’t be brushed over with an apology. His apology means nothing to me because I know it will only be about him trying to save his career. He’s a sad little hate filled man, and I hope people will see him for what he is and stop supporting anything that he is a part of. Why would anyone want to support someone like this? I hope that gay rights organizations are not trying to solicit any kind of public apology from him. It would be insulting. Someone that says the kind of things he said doesn’t change the way they think overnight, or go to some weekend siminar and magically become a changed man. That kind of ignorance and hatred comes from a very deep dark and disturbed place, and any proclamations of change should be met with extreme skepticism. As long as he’s on 30 Rock, I’ll NEVER watch that show EVER again. The sad part of it all was the reaction Tracy got from the audience. A large majority of them were cheering him on during his homophobic rant. To me that’s a confirmation of the long and treacherous road ahead we have yet to travel to reach total equality for our community.

STORY UPDATE AND TRACY’S “APOLOGY”:

Morgan has agreed to go to Nashville with GLAAD to protest the state’s controversial “Don’t Say Gay” bill, according to E! Online. He spoke to E!’s Marc Malkin about his regrets over his rant, emphasizing his belief that all children should be loved, regardless of sexuality. “I know how bad bullying can hurt,” Morgan said. “I was bullied when I was a kid. I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it. I never want to use my comedy to hurt anyone. My family knew what it was like to feel different. My brother was disabled and I lost my father to AIDS in 1987…. Parents should support and love their kids no matter what. Gay people deserve the same right to be happy in this country as everyone else. Our laws should support that.” In an interview with Russell Simmons at Global Grind, Morgan apologized again for his verbal tirade that sparked national outrage, swore off his hate speech and came out for marriage equality. “Of all the sicknesses, there is probably none more abusive than homophobia. My heart is committed to giving everyone the same rights that I deserve for myself,” Morgan said. “I don’t care if you love the same sex as long as you have the ability to love someone I am deeply sorry for the comments I made. What I am most sad about is the comments I made about kids and bullying.”

Morgan also noted his support for gays serving in the military — an issue solved by the recent repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” and then insisted he believed in gay marriage, too. “I believe everyone deserves the right to be happy and marry who they want too; gay, white, black, male or female. Let me know where the rally’s at Russ. I’m there!” Morgan promised. The words came as he works to make amends, not only with his public, but his friends, too. Tina Fey, his “30 Rock” co-star and executive producer slammed his comments but noted that she believed Morgan was a loving person. “It doesn’t line up with the Tracy Morgan I know, who is not a hateful man and is generally much too sleepy and self-centered to ever hurt another person,” Fey said in a statement. Another co-star, Cheyenne Jackson, said that he was “disgusted” by what Morgan had said.

Was Tracy’s apology sincere? Is he serious about making amends? Does he understand how hurtful and dangerous his gay bashing tirade was? I wish I had the answer to those questions, but only time will tell. When I began to write this blog, I kept thinking about something Mya Angelou said in an interview with Oprah. It seemed to fit this situation perfectly, and I’ve found it to be true in my life as well. This very wise woman said “When someone shows you who they are, believe them”.JULY 4 2011 UPDATE

It saddens me that I’ve never heard of this amazing and courageous gentleman. The black community continually omits any positive gay black leaders. This man was a HUGE part of the civil rights movement and we know nothing about him. There are thousands of books, newsreels news articles, movies, documentaries, text books, lectures, poems, etc detailing everything about the Civil Rights Movement and none of those historical accounts mentioned his name at all. As a black gay man growing up in the south with very religious parents I had a very tough time accepting who I was, which lead to self-hatred and deep depression. If I was aware of Bayard Rustin and taught about his role in the civil rights movement, that may have had a huge impact on my life and the way I felt about myself. That’s why it’s so important to expose those positive gay African American figures like Bayard to let young closeted gay men and women see that they are not alone, and see that they can be out and still accomplish great things with their lives. What a powerful message.

After the passage of the civil-rights legislation of 1964–1965, Rustin focused attention on the economic problems of working-class and unemployed African Americans, suggesting that the civil-rights movement had left its period of “protest” and had entered an era of “politics”, in which the Black community had to ally with the labor movement. Rustin became the head of the AFL–CIO‘s A. Philip Randolph Institute, which promoted the integration of formerly all-white unions and promoted the unionization of African Americans. Rustin became an honorary chairperson of the Socialist Party of America in 1972, before it changed its name to Social Democrats, USA (SDUSA); Rustin acted as national chairman of SDUSA during the 1970s. During the 1970s and 1980s, Rustin served on many humanitarian missions, such as aiding refugees from Communist Vietnam and Cambodia. He was on a humanitarian mission in Haiti when he died in 1987.

Rustin was a gay man who had been arrested for a homosexual act in 1953. Homosexuality was criminalized in parts of the United States until 2003 and stigmatized through the 1990s. Rustin’s sexuality, or at least his embarrassingly public criminal charge, was criticized by some fellow pacifists and civil-rights leaders. Rustin was attacked as a “pervert” or “immoral influence” by political opponents from segregationists to Black power militants, and from the 1950s through the 1970s. In addition, his pre-1941 Communist Party affiliation was controversial. To avoid such attacks, Rustin served only rarely as a public spokesperson. He usually acted as an influential adviser to civil-rights leaders. In the 1970s, he became a public advocate on behalf of gay and lesbian causes.

I randomly came across this movie early this morning (4am) because I couldn’t sleep. I was shocked that I had never heard of it before. Even though it was released in 2009, the message is so very relevant to everything going on in the news right now. Gay-bashing, homophobes, religious zealotry, gay teen suicide, etc. What’s even more amazing is that it’s a true story. It stirred up so many emotions with me. At times it seemed as though I were watching a movie based on my life. It was kind of eerie how much of my life paralleled the main characters. It’s probably the most touching film I’ve ever seen. If I had normal human emotions, I probably would of cried through the whole movie (lol).

PLEASE watch this movie, and then get your friends and family to watch it. Stories like this have the power to open closed eyes, and reach those who we thought were unreachable. After you watch it, I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions on it. Anyone that can watch this movie without being moved is not human at all… or what I like to call a “Republican” (lol).

You can watch the movie right here for free, or purchase it on DVD by clicking this link: Prayers for Bobby

This has been such an exciting week because the Federal court struck down the gay marriage ban (aka Prop 8) in California. This is a huge victory for Gay Rights in the state of California, and also for the entire country. Even-though the ruling was made in a California court by a California Judge, it still sets legal precedence. And legal precedence can be used and cited in any state, and even in a Federal court. Right after I got the good news, I stumbled upon a short youtube clip taken from one of Dr. Martin Luther King’s speeches. Call it fate or serendipity or a sign from a higher power, but either way, this wasn’t just a random coincidence. It was very clear to me that I was meant to share it with my blog readers and frame it in the proper context so even those that have opposing views, can still see the logic in my argument.

I’ve heard this speech hundreds of times, and yet I still get chills every time I listen to it. I’m posting this video because I see a very present correlation to the fight for gay rights that’s going on in this country right now. I think it’s very sad that many of my fellow African Americans fought so hard for racial equality, but still can’t see the injustice in denying equal rights to the GLBT community. I know there are some people that feel uneasy or even offended whenever the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960’s gets compared to the present day Gay Rights movement. And I’m sure some of those people would consider it complete heresy to even associate Dr. Martin Luther King with anything having to do with Gay Rights. If that’s your belief, then fine… you’re entitled to form your own opinion (even if that opinion is a product of ignorance perpetuated by hate and cloaked in intolerance lol). I’m not saying that one movement has a greater social relevance than the other because comparing the hardships of each is irrelevant. Although we’ve made huge progress on the road to racial equality, we’re still not there yet. And the fight for Gay Rights has a long and hard road ahead that we must travel. I strongly believe that if Dr. King were alive today, he would be a great ally to the GLBT community and would fight right along with us.

I challenge anyone who reads this, to watch the short clip, and then honestly tell me that they can’t see the connection and how it can apply to the Gay Rights movement.

“The Mormon Proposition” details in devastating fashion the efforts of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints to help pass the 2008 California ballot measure that defined marriage as solely consisting of a union between a man and a woman. Writer/Co-Director Reed Cowan’s film reveals a disturbing truth of the increasing overlap between church and state. This documentary is extremely well done and at times it even brought me to tears (which is EXTREMELY rare). I wish I could get every person in this country to watch this amazing documentary. I thought I knew everything that went on with proposition 8, but this film exposed a lot of new & shocking information that left me speechless. If this film doesn’t move you, then you have to be a soleless heartless pitiful sociopath incapable of any human emotion… or a practicing Mormon (I’m only being facetious here, so please no hate mail).

The legal battle to declare Proposition 8 unconstitutional is currently underway, which means the ending to this story has yet to be written. Will we write an ending of triumph and redemption, or will we continue this story of intolerance and hate?

President Obama spoke at a White House reception marking GLBT Pride Month on June 22, 2010. I know some of his campaign promises concerning gay rights are taking a little longer than we would like, but I have absolute faith that he is going to fulfill every promise that he’s made to the GLBT community. Watching this speech gave me chills at times because I realize just how close we are to equal rights and total equality, and I realize how monumental it is to have a sitting president publicly announce his support for ending ALL gay & lesbian discrimination. This president understands that religious ideology has no place in a democratic government. I hope and pray that, that type of government ended with George Bush, never to be seen or heard from again.

For more info about issues concerning GLBT rights, please visit the sites below: