Clueless hotel makes effigy of couple’s dead son to celebrate his birthday

I wish I had something lighter—like an animal-rescue story—to finish up the week; but this will have to do. It’s macabre but also humorous in a sick way. The story is from the Guardian (click on screenshot):

The backstory:

Faye and Andrew Stephens, from Willesden, have made it an annual tradition to mark the birthday of their son. Alex Stephens, a promising 22-year-old footballer, died after falling from a balcony while on holiday in Spain in 2014.

His godmother, Karen Baker, who was on holiday with the couple, had asked staff at the five-star Royalton Resort to surprise them with balloons and cake in their bedroom to mark the day.

The hotel workers instead created an effigy of Alex by stuffing the couple’s clothes with towels and arranging it on the bed. The figure had tears on its face and a can of lager in its hand and was positioned next to petals spelling out: “We miss you Alex.”

Here, from a BBC story, is a picture of what confronted the family. OY VEY!

Is that supposed to be Alex or one of his parents? If it’s an effigy of Alex (he was black), why the lager and tears? Is he supposed to be in heaven drinking beer and crying? And if Alex fell off that balcony because he was drunk (the link doesn’t say), that makes it even worse.

Of course the reaction of Karen Baker, who had given the staff a propina to do this, wasn’t happy. From the BBC:

Mrs Baker, who first discovered the effigy, said she was “utterly horrified” and removed the dummy before her friends saw it.

“When I walked into the bedroom, all I can describe is a dummy body on the bed,” she said.

“Staff had gone through my friend’s wardrobe and stuffed the clothes with towels to make it look like a body on the bed. They even put tears down the face and a can of lager in his hand.

“I was absolutely horrified – as you can imagine I was sweating and shaking. We just didn’t want our friends to see it.

“I have truly never seen anything like it. I still look at the photographs now and can’t believe somebody thought to do that”, she said.

Indeed! Of course the staff meant well, but their cluelessness astounds me. How could they think this would bring a smile to the face of his parents?

At any rate, the hotel has refunded the family £1300 per person in view of this debacle.

Yes, although it seems to have been made infinitely worse by terrible customer service and a relentless flogging of tawdry micro-transactions to try to screw every cent out of their customers that they can.

Bethesda is trying to become the new EA, but I don’t think they can pull that off. Bethesda makes its money on its reputation and a small batch of properties people love. They’ve already screwed up Fallout (twice, if you ask me, since I think F4 was crap, though nothing compared to this latest fiasco) and they’ve been steadily cultivating this new impression as the company of fuck-ups for some time. This seems like the culmination of years of sliding into the AAA morass.

After Fallout 4, they only had an arrow in one knee, but now they’ve shot themselves in the other knee and each foot. It seems CDPR is the only company that managed to make the big time and still retain its soul.

Oh, and while I had many problems with F4, it’s the shape in which it was released that really marks it as the first sign of Bethesda’s downfall in hindsight. Sure, they’ve never been noted for releasing their games in the best of states, but F4 was a mess, and now 76 just shows a continuing downward trend, along with the various stunts they’ve pulled regarding Skyrim in the last couple of years.

I didn’t play F4 until it was in its final state complete with all DLCs. I think that Creation Club is the worst thing they have ever thought up, and this trend to micro-transactions is like the highway to losing all the goodwill their fans have for them.

I still hope they will pull their collective derrières out of the fire before it’s too late.

Famadihana is a funerary tradition of the Malagasy people in Madagascar. During this ceremony, known as the turning of the bones, people bring forth the bodies of their ancestors from the family crypts and rewrap them in fresh cloth, then dance with the corpses around the tomb to live music.

“”They took the family’s clothes, stuffed them and made an effigy of their son, painted tears on its face and put a beer can in its hand…that really doesn’t suggest that they meant well.””

In Western culture that might very well be a bad joke, but to other cultures yes, it could very well be well meaning, as they are wishing him a ‘good time’ in the afterlife. Just look at Egyptian pharoahs for example, they were buried with worldly possessions that they could enjoy in the afterlife. I would suspect that this is something similar.

Dont assume malice where it could very well be ignorance/stupidity/cultural differences.

I think this is worth emphasis. I don’t know anything about the local culture of the folks who created the display but I’d put a small bet that there’s a tradition at work that includes displays like this, made in honor of the deceased and their kin. I suspect the “cluelessness” goes both ways here. Such are the ways of culture.

Maybe it is a strange quirk of Spanish culture. It reminds me of the tribe (or tribes) that digs up their family’s dead bodies on some special day and parties around them. I think I saw this on an Anthony Bourdain episode.

Human behavior is truly baffling sometimes. I’m sure they meant well, but it’s rare to see this level of obliviousness when it comes to a tragedy as universal as losing a child. As Paul Topping said, perhaps this is something cultural and the employees didn’t realize how upsetting this would be to the guests.

Or else they did know exactly what they were doing. I can imagine hotel workers being angry at having to prepare a celebration for someone’s dead son. It seems like it should be a completely private affair which is at odds with paying a hotel to, say, “do something nice for our poor dead son.” I can also imagine the hotel management passing down the odious task to underlings with a private chuckle afterwards. It may be more about revenge on the hotel managers than desire to upset the family. Perhaps a little of both.

As I said to Saul above, I find this very hard to believe. It is, of course, possible, but it seems far more likely that they simply made a mistake. If you’re a hotel employee who wants to get back at a manager, there are many other ways to do so, and many ways that won’t put your job at risk because you can do them surreptitiously. This particular event would require extreme malice on the parts of multiple employees toward guests who are coming to commemorate the death of their child (again, something that is a universally relatable tragedy), and a willingness to risk their jobs to carry out this act of malice.

I quite agree. Why would any hotel workers go to considerable lengths to upset guests they haven’t even met yet, and cause themselves grief as a result?

I think it more likely to have been well-intentioned but misguided. We don’t know how much the hotel staff was told, either, they may have thought Alex was still alive but just unable to attend his birthday for example.

But again, it may be a cultural thing. Different cultures have odd quirks that deviate sharply from what might be called ‘good taste’ in some other culture; and it is all a matter of taste that we’re talking about.

I worked in a resort hotel on Catalina Island for a summer when I was 17. I can easily imagine some kid like me, but with a bigger chip on his shoulder, doing something like this, especially during their last week.

Us hotel workers were paragons of virtue compared to some of the guests. One placed a 4″ fish between the mattress and box spring which was found by the guests that came after. They had to be replaced, of course. The guests complained of the smell again a few days later. Turns out they had placed another fish on top of a ceiling beam.