Thursday, July 29, 2010

Did my recent post make you angry?
It should not have. If it did, then you are guilty for enabling or ignoring her illness or unwilling to accept it.
You don't have to deal with it or accept it.
All I ask if you are not willing to understand or accept it, then please step back. That is your choice.

Thanks to all those who have given us their prayers and support while we travel this rocky road!

I cannot believe how life loves to throw us curve balls and usually it is 3 at a time! Each time the Good Lord always gets us through for a grand slam. But, it takes a lot of skill, focus and education not to get any strikes, or fouls! The first pitch, we have hit and it looks like a base run....the second, so far is a foul off into right field.

People want to blame me, or judge me as "Harsh" or even "abusive" when they don't have the facts, and just want to go on thinking I am such a terrible person. I MUST have made her that way, since I am a person that has been judged unworthy to be member of the inner circle decades ago. Even by friends and their parents, take pity on her and then realize they are patsy's because they are clueless of the facts! They believe what she is saying is true, not aware of the under lying manipulation due to her disorders.
Everything I do, to help her, people have no clue what is going down or what I am doing, and judge my actions by what they want to think is happening. And of course, they KNOW I am a horrible person, and have been nothing but a burden and unwelcome my entire life because of what I did or said. Or is it because I know so many “secrets” that others don’t want me to tell? So, I must be treating the daughter I love so much, with abuse. Gotta make me look bad to others, so others will look at me with discontent and make sure I am unwelcome for any type of explanation, much less any truth as to what I know and can prove to be true. Oh, yeah, lots of back stabbing and lies flying around, so what ever I say or do is not to be believed.

That is the thing about mental illness...no ones cares and will think that the person who is ill.....who seems so normal...... CAN control their decisions and know the consequences when in fact they can't.

It is like telling a paraplegic to get up and walk...duh...it is a medical impossibility unless there is a treatment that can make them walk. But, they have to STAY on the treatment and receive the therapy for life. Like a Diabetic I. They will ALWAYS need insulin, if they stop...they die.

Even if they do know about her illness, it is something, they do not know much about, or don’t want to know how to deal with it in order to help. To much trouble to deal with it and her.

Or, it gets to the point where it is too expensive because one, you cannot make them take their medicine or get treatment that will help them and two, pay attorneys and courts to grant you the power of guardianship so you can afford to put them in a treatment facility or provide them with the help and treatment she needs.

So, I am left, 3000 miles away from her, because clueless people, who wanted to help her, wanted to save her from all the abuse and hardship she was suffering from because of our actions or because of some other horrible story she made up so she could get out of Dodge, has made it so she is now in the deepest abyss of her life. They talked her into staying and then she ended up being forced to stay, after she was voted off the island.

I am too far away to do anything about it. Or at least keep her in check so it doesn’t get to far out of hand. At least when she was here, she only had money problems. Now, because of people that brought her to where she is now and did not have the "truth" or "resources" she needed to succeed, have pretty much judged her to be unworthy, irresponsible instead of getting her the help she needs. Such as the medications, doctor supervision and monitoring required for her illness. So, she is left alone to make it through when she does not have the ability to do it.

A mentally ill person does not recognize their illness, ever. She cannot determine that she needs help and a lot of times, was unable to get help because of no insurance or money to pay for the proper medications.

It is so easy to let her go and blame her for it, when she does something to hurt you or does something you turn your nose up at her and give you an excuse to not have to care or bother anymore. Something, that is irresponsible and illegal so, that makes her unworthy of your unconditional love and respect to where you are willing to get her the help she needs. Everyone just thinks she is in control and has the ability to determine right from wrong.

Wrong.

This is my daughter. I will always love her unconditionally and always be there to do what I can,( like I have been her WHOLE LIFE), to get the help she needs the best way I was taught by the professionals or educated by with books or other parents with the same problems. And if it does not meet with your approval, then, bugger off.

We are not here to meet your expectations, be the type of people you want us to be or act like in order to be worthy of your love, be included in your family, or friendship. We got along just fine when you were no where around and let us know we were not good enough to be a part of your lives.

Now, you think you were the ones rescued her, when all you did was start digging her grave. I hate to think it was done on purpose, to hurt me since I, and my family was threatened at one point. But, I would hate to think it is really all about me and some kind of stupid retaliation just because I would not let anyone get away with their scams, lies and threats. But, yet, everyone is a puppet to the grand master and follows their directions. And since Leah has been homeless and in the worst black abyss of her life, I have to wonder, since no one is doing what they need to do in order to help her get the help she needs, then they must have voted her off the island and are probably happy that they have finally been able to cause our family the distress they have tried to do and threatened to do for so many years. But, you have only wasted your time and money because we cannot be beaten down. You may have succeeded in making Leah’s life miserable and worse off, but, we are too strong and will overcome with our unconditional love for one another and answered prayers.

Leah is lucky, whether she realizes it now or not, that she has people that love her unconditionally, who will stay by her side now and forever even though she is stuck in a huge black hole of nothingness at the moment. To all the people that continue to judge her and I, when you have NO CLUE, just keep staying the hell away. That is what you do best.

And to those that are here with me, trying so hard, including her very good friend, who is living close to her now and can reach her, may the Lord bless you as we bless you so much for doing what ever you can. Even through all the pain we all are experienced in because of her uncontrollable actions, you are still there for her, unconditionally, and educated on what we have to do to keep trying to bring her back to the real world again. This is what family is, even when you are not related.

This picture, looks exactly like Leah and the way I have seen her, her whole life as she would always get dressed up for acting or just life. This would and could be her, the star she always wanted to be, with everyone loving her because of the great things she could give them.

It could happen, if only the clueless folks would step aside, quit feeling pity and being the patsy's, then tossin her to the curb and putting her on the "do not call list" when she does the things she cannot control.

She is like that paraplegic. She will never be able to walk without medical help and treatments required in order for her to stand and walk. She will always disappoint you and do things you won't approve of until she gets help. Only the people that love her and don't enable her will be able to give her what she needs, medically, emotionally. Not the people that swoop in to try and prove how wonderful they are by giving her what she wants to a point then throw her out when they don’t receive what they expect and then get sick of it or don't want to shell out any more money, time or emotions. Too much trouble, time expense..huh?

Thank you Steph, I am so blessed to have you there with Leah, this is going to prevent us from a strike out on this one. In the meantime...Enjoy the picture of "Leah" and what it means to me as far as how beautiful and talented she is, way deep down inside. I am sure she is screaming to get out but, is unable to find the way. We will do what we can to help her, find the way, no matter how hard even if it takes forever. Yeah...a bit too much make up on the Model...but, Leah would love to do this!! So HER!

Her and her cousin…look so much a like too! But, I don’t think someone working on another person’s teeth is going to be wearing as much make up! LOL!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Mason, this is very important for you to know!! Through exhaustive research and talking with governmental agencies, I have found that it is happening all over the country, to thousands of people. All I can say is keep all your paperwork regarding anything and everything dealing with federally insured student loans, mortgages, etc even if you paid them...you better have the proof...even if it is more then 10 years old.Though sites will tell you that you don't need to keep copies of your taxes or other records past 7-10 years. The government will STILL expect you to provide proof even if it is 20 years later!! You had better have all the receipts, and the info on the preparer of your taxes noted. Even with a mortgage, they are prosecuting agents and affiliates decades later due to the huge amount of fraud that went on and the lack of Federal agencies and manpower to stop it, thank you Former President, Bush. He pulled them all away and reassigned them to Homeland security. I found out that they, The Department of Education (DOE) do not have to worry about any statute of limitations. They are exempt and can demand payment for a debt you paid unless you can prove you paid it, over 25, 30, 40 years ago! If you can’t prove it, you will be paying it again. They can, and will take what they want, when they want, without a court order, and can tell you anything they will do to you without being accountable by the FDCAP. In fact, they don't even have to notify you, (as they haven't with us for 20 years), that they consider you in default and can post it on credit reports or "other" federal credit rating systems they have in place just like they have with insurance company ratings and Healthcare ratings without even notifying you!! They pull more then credit reports such as FHA, and Insurance reports now when you are trying to refinance your home. They leave nothing unturned. All these years, even when we were still paying on 2 other school loans through the same Lender. They NEVER contacted us of a default on the first 2 loans, (Probably because there was NO DEFAULT) and then started to add interest and penalties. Then the guy on the phone says he DID send us a letter, to an address we had not lived at for 7 years, and 9 years after we paid off all the loans, 11 years ago, even though they had our new address since we were making our loan payments from there and we had the same phone number since moving to Bellingham in 1989!!They have made it so easy to steal money you already paid......so much so that Zombie Collectors are able to get money you don't owe because your information is being sold, or obtained illegally! At first we thought it was an illegal Zombie collection agency that stole our information, because, after all, it was PAID! Someone is trying to double dip illegally, hoping that we would be the type of people to not have records or the guts to fight the injustice. Little did we know, the injustice is in fact being done by our own Government! Oh, yeah, they are coming up with all kinds of ways to get money, even money you already paid 20- 40 years ago! And no matter what someone might say, it is not their job to make up laws as they go without going through the Legislature and being signed into law by the Pres or Gov. Even though it is stated that they need to contact us, and we have so many days to contact them back. They now say, they don't have to, since it is only a curtosey that they do it in the first place and so they are not obligated too. But, governmental agencies are exempt from these laws and make up their own rules when it comes to collecting money from people. Even if they are wrong, they don't have to provide you with facts that you owe. YOU have to provide them with facts and evidence that you paid your bill, so save the last statement and check copy!!!! And even if you never did take out the loan and they got the wrong person. It is on you to prove that!Do a search on the internet about the government demanding payment on school loans that were paid decades ago, and the amount of Zombie collection agencies that are doing the same thing and you will realize, they are indeed stealing money any way they can and making up the rules as they go so they can get it! Thanks to the government that I had been hoping would change our nation for the better. But, who instead..... is stealing money anyway they can, from who ever they can and acting like the Mafia while they do it. Thanks from my family who have done all we could to survive on one salary after I became disabled and made it, without any help from the government! We did the responsible thing in order to survive, buy a home, send our child to college while the rest of the nation suffers from loosing their homes and jobs. We paid our bills, did what we could to keep out of debt. All the time while waiting for what was rightfully mine under the law and only given when I agreed to recieve less then what I was due!How many people out there are being jerked around by the DOE? Thanks, U.S., for proving to me that I cannot trust the government I once had so much faith in to bring about the kind of change we needed. The government instead is raping its own citizens financially through departments that want to raise money and balance their budgets illegally. They are doing everything they can, even ignoring the legal, moral and ethical laws that are in place to protect us ( FDCPA) to get it!I will add more soon. Especially as I find out more about how many people are affected by this. What I want to know is who was behind this bill and who made it so the DOE could seize assets without any court orders, including seizing professional licenses obtained by their educations. They are actually repossessing the education you received?!!We are lucky. We have the information and proof that we do not owe them a dime! But, I am still worried that even though we have these documents, they will ask for something else that is totally obscure that we don't have. We shall see. You know how one person tells you one thing then another person tells you something totally different. You think they would have it all written down on the internet somewhere?!