Tuesday, February 17, 2009

My cats trust me. They greet me at the door. Mali begs to have her chin scratched. Katy does a cat scratch and then rolls on her side or back for a belly rub. Both are signs of trust -- particularly the belly rub. For all practical purposes, it puts Katy in a vulnerable position. It's hard to move fast from that position, it's hard to escape. She willingly lets her guard down.

This weekend I had company. My friends brought their dog, Ike. Katy bolted as soon as he appeared and hid under the dresser. Mali stayed out but put Ike in his place with a clawed swipe at his nose and a hiss. (I think this perplexed poor Ike. He lives with a cat and just wanted to say, "Hello.")

At night both of them sleep with me. Katy goes as far as to paw at the covers around my neck until I let her under the covers and proceed to rub her belly. I worked Saturday night. My company was in bed when I came in with Ike closed in the bedroom with them. Katy finally decided to venture out when I did my soft, ritual call, "Katy, Katy love. Katy, Katy love." We commenced with the routine. But then from down the hall, both cats heard Ike rattle the tags on his collar.

Mali opted to sleep on top of the tallest dresser. Katy spent the night beneath the dresser. No amount of coaxing would convince her to come out.

I love that in general they both trust me so much. But as I've thought about their reaction that night, it showed me that they only trust me to a certain extent. After that, they decided to fend for themselves.

I would like to say that I trust God completely. But I think I am often like Katy and Mali. I'm willing to show my soft, vulnerable belly to a certain extent. Throw in an unknown element and I make for the safety beneath the dresser.

Do you have things you only trust God with so far? Relationships are a big one for me. I have a hard time handing them to God and not wanting to grab them back. My anxiety over finances at times shows a similar inclination to trust God completely with them.

But scripture tells us that we can trust God with all things -- even the deepest desires of our hearts. Proverbs 3:5 says:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart needs to take precedence over my understanding of things. Why can I trust Him? The evidence is in promises kept -- to me and throughout history.

He promised to make Abram/Abraham a great nation.

He promised to rescue His people.

He promised to send a redeemer.

He promised that He would never leave us nor forsake us.

He promised to send a comforter, the Holy Spirit.

Hindsight is 20/20. When I look back on my life I see God's faithfulness. He brought a child of brokenness out of the darkness when He called me in the midst of the violence of my family. He has helped me find others to be family with. When I look back, I can see that He never left me.

We can have hope for all the promises kept throughout history that point to all the promises He will keep until He brings us all to be with Him in his glory.

Next time I want to sprint under the dresser, I need to pause and choose to be vulnerable before Him and let His touch comfort my anxiety because I know Him as a keeper of promises.

1 comment:

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Compassion International

Welcome

Welcome to "God's Work in Progress." I've found that this is often a true statement of things in my life. I am nothing without God's work and grace in my life.

I've struggled with depression since I was 10. This is what I've discovered about depression: it is a thief and a liar. It sneaks into a person's life and steals energy, enthusiasm, joy, self - confidence. It hampers relationships and can b e hindrance to more. More than anything depression steals hope. It makes me beleive that tomorrow is as dark as today and that it will never get better. It taunts me, shouting at times that it will always be like this, I will never get fully better, and because of that I am a failure of great proportions.

I must find a way to shine truth on those lies. Depression is an illness. There is a biological component to it. Like any illness it needs treatment. No one would tell a heart attack victim not to go to the hospital. I am not defined by depression unless I choose to let it define me. But I choose to be defined by hope and love and faith and not depression.

At the heart of this blog you will find posts entitled "Hope Chronicles." I started them the end of 2007 and have committed to writing at least weekly about hope. These posts are my attempt to combat this thief and liar and deeply instill in myself the trust of God's promises and that our chief hope is Jesus.

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Resplendent Quetzal

Happy Consequences

As my eight-year-old daughter and I were just leaving to go to the bus stop, we hesitated to look at the roses about to bloom outside our door. She then regaled me with information about rose-hips and how they are full of seeds, but also full of vitamin C and that quetzals love to eat them.

I turned to her and said, "You know the most interesting things!"

She smiled and said, "That's one of the happy consequences of reading."

(I confess that I had to look up quetzal as her vocabulary outstrips mine. It is a type of brilliantly colored bird.)