The #DeeList: Top 5 Things That Could Ruin Your Friday, 9-6-19

Every day above ground is a good day, but on Friday we like positive vibes, good news, and happy thoughts only! So happy “Good Friday!” Here are some things to avoid to make sure it continues:

5. You Realize You Have no Friends

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All those years of judging people for kicking it on the weekends, and you have the nerve to wanna kick it on the weekend. But everyone knows better than to hit you tryna hang out: you’ll flake. So now that you actually wanna go out, you’re all alone. Better stop judging people now, so you’re not having dinner for 1, later.

4. You Waste Food on Your Clothes

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You planned on leaving work and going straight to the hookah. So why did you wear a white top, and eat spaghetti for lunch?? Now you got sauce all over your shirt, looking like somebody shot you. And if you go home to change, you not going out. We all know when the bra comes off, it’s a wrap.

3. You Get Cheated on

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Nothing ruins the weekend like finding out bae ain’t bae. You had suspicions and just haaad to go through his phone. And you found what you were looking for: nipples. Now you all sad and don’t wanna go out. Welp. You know what you gotta do: have fun this weekend and go through his phone on Monday.

2. You Didn’t Take a Nap

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Call me what you want, but I’m not going anywhere without my post-work nap. I’m “let’s hit a happy hour instead” years old, so you damn sure ain’t getting no club outta me if I’m not rested. So if you’re like me, take that nap SOON as you get off so you’ll be ready to do hoodrat things with your friends.

1. Someone Blows Your High

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Maybe you don’t wanna go out. You’re tryna have a chill night at the crib, smoke a lil something, watch some Netflix…and your homegirl FaceTimes you crying because her man cheated…again. You knew better than to answer the phone, and now you’re stuck trying to be serious and console her. Girl just let it go to voicemail. She’ll be okay; he’ll cheat again eventually and you can make up for it.