The Second Time You Get Your Heart Broken

The Second Time You Get Your Heart Broken

The second time you get your heart broken, you’re going to be annoyed.

You already went through your first heartbreak: You know, that horrible stretch of time where you thought that things would never be okay again. You already relished in the depths of self-pity and engaged in the obligatory six-month period of crying over Adele songs in the shower. Your first heartbreak knocked the wind out of you, but then a miracle happened — you recovered! You came out the other side! You picked yourself up off the ground and with time, you even learned to love again.

Now you know that there’s another side to all of it. You are convinced that you shouldn’t have to go through all that shitty heartbreak stuff again.

“Screw those unproductive months of guzzling wine and cradling old pictures!” you’ll announce. “I get to bypass all of that because I’m older and…