The house is quiet and empty, there’s a family member missing. Not one who argued and challenged, but one who loved me unconditionally, trusted me and depended on me for everything she had. My beloved pet.

I euthanased my dear, funny, cute chicken yesterday afternoon. She was a broiler type chicken, with such a comical walk who always came running with wings flapping to greet me. I don’t think I’ve ever known a funnier character, human or animal. She was enthusiastic, highly spirited and happy. She inspired many a joke and a laugh.

I sit here with eyes like balloons, depleted and guilt ridden having made the decision to euthanase. After two weeks of propping her up in towels, washing at least 5 towels a day, caring every moment day and night. As she improved and started to walk again, it was apparent that the nerve damage was worsening in her foot and though her spirits were high, due to her breeding she was to heavy to regain her independence.

I have found the death of pets that I have loved to be an intensely painful experience, I think it might even be more intense than that of a human death, (certainly excluding that of a child) and yet the recovery seems to go quicker. The intensity probably has something to do with the parental factor, their dependence on you and their innocent and pure love, coupled with your absolute responsibility for their lives, even more so when you take the decision to euthanase. I’m not sure why the grieving recovery seems to go faster, perhaps because their relationship with you is so pure there are not that many complexities to process. Perhaps their little animal spirits forgive and release you so freely. I really have no idea. That chicken was such an experience and such an education I’m still glad I had the privilege, even though it turned out so sadly.

I’d like to thank Keith for the chat earlier that inspired this post and hope that you and Bronwen feel better after the recent loss of your beautiful bully. And if anyone asks… yes, writing does make you feel better, poetry also helps, and most of all feeling gratitude for having experienced the love that now has passed.