Careless

I slept
full of hope and dreams
I awoke
empty and forgotten
Careless as I was back then
Morning sounds
swirling in my ears
Pointless thoughts
filling my head
"She can."
but will she ever again
"She is."
though no longer for me
I stood
alone and stiff
I walked
slow and without purpose
Careless as I was back then
The smell of spring
mingled with sunshine
as the touch of day
warmed me no more
"I was."
but I threw it all away
"I did."
though I do not know why
I hoped
for a day without me
I cried
where no one could see
Careless as I was back then
Was this longing
joyless and caretaking
awaiting its chance
to bring me home again
Or was I lost
forever here like a wounded angel
Despaired and angry
the evening came again
Without warning
Without love
Without consumption
Without her
"In her arms,"
I wondered as the sun slipped away
"would I feel whole again?"
my hurt had wasted another day
I laid down
empty and forgotten
I slept
full of hope and dreams
Careless as I was back then

Congratulations. This is a very lovely poem. It showed a lot of emotion that can be felt in the heart.You can expect me to read more of your work.

Date:
8/31/2008 6:10:00 PM

Congratulation on placing first in Mark's contest with this well-written poem. I like the conversational style of this piece. The title compliments the poem. Wishing you continued success with your writing.
Karen

brilliant original piece!
i love the way the short staccato lines enhance the meaning. And the repetition is very effective in creating the mood of the poem.Lovely use of language throughout the poem.I was very moved

Bradley, Mark is a wonderful judge and I can see why he picked your poem for First Place. I too, was deeply touched, and I am so sorry I ever missed this remarkable poem. Sadly I have tried and I am unable to comment on any of your poems due to technical difficulties. Hope this has now changed. Warmest congrats on a most well deserved First Place win and please keep writing. Love, Shar