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Friday, January 14, 2011

So first things the winner of the CSN $75 gift certificate is lucky #7!

Who happens to be - A Texas Gal! A fabulous blog pal and long time PSD reader! Congrats girlfriend, look for the gift code in your email this morning!

Now back to the schooling I alluded to yesterday. In the 7-11 parking lot.

Now, I go a very meander-y way to work. Theoretically I could get on The Expressway which is a mere 5 minute drive from my home. But that would require getting up at 5AM so I can be on the road by 6AM to avoid the gridlocked traffic that lives there each morning. So instead I snake my way through the ‘burbs – Braintree into Quincy into Milton into Dorchester and eventually I do get on the Expressway but only for a couple of exits and then I am blazing down the wide-open Pike.

So my point is I deal with a lot of other cars of my commute and I have a lot of time to think.

Case in point: as I was leaving my house I drove behind an SUV who had pristintely removed all of the snow from their car except for the four inch pile on their roof.

As a result a little flurry of snow followed them down the road and surrounded my windshield for the duration of my time behind them. Not a huge deal, but annoying! Why don’t you clean off your car? It’s like…..rude. That is the only word I can think of to describe it. It’s annoying for me to brush off my car too even though its lower to the ground, but still to get the middle I basically have to lean chest first onto my dirty and snowy car which is no picnic. But I do it because I don’t want that snow to fly off when I am driving and hit the driver’s windshield behind me. So when I see someone who did NOT do this simple task, I think ether they didn’t even consider it, which makes them ign’nt. Or they considered it and decided not to do it. Which is rude.

I ruminated on this as I drove my way to work, meandering down side streets. Encountering more and more of this phenonomenon. And not just SUVs either, but cars are guilty as well. Even a fellow Honda Civic (that was a slap in the face!)

By the time I swung onto Morrissey I had worked myself into a righteous state, so much so that when the beige SUV in front of me stopped short, and all of the snow on his roof fell onto my car in a huff, I became suddenly livid.

I never wished harder for an egg.

A strange thing to wish for I’m sure but in my mind there would be no greater revenge on those who commit vehicular misdeeds / acts of auto assholery than throwing a nice round egg splat against the back of their car as they drive away. Now, I don’t keep eggs in my car. And I am pretty sure this is illegal. And in the cold light of reality, I am not really ever going to chuck an egg at someone’s car. But just the idea of doing it makes me feel better. Like “Buddy you don’t know how lucky you are that there are no eggs up in here right now”.

So anyway as I am thinking of eggs I decide what I really could use is a nice big diet coke, so I decide to hit the 7-11 on Morrissey and get my fix. Lo, the SUV puts his blinker on and moves over before me and ends up turning into the same parking lot. I am like, this is my chance to say something. Something like “you might want to consider cleaning off your car in the future”. A verbal egg, if you will.

I pulled into the first open spot I saw and thought about it for a second or two.

In the end I decided against it. I mean the snow isn’t on his car anymore so whats the point. He probably didn’t even notice what happened. Whatever. And in anycase the rage has passed. I cant do a proper reading on someone with no rage. So I go in and get my diet coke.

When I come out, a gentleman stops me, scowling, and says “You don’t look handicapped”. Say what? I thought for a moment he was bizarrely hitting on me. Maybe he had a disability fetish and was dissapointed? Then I saw he was pointing at my car – I was parked in a f&cking handicapped spot. I NEVER DO THAT! EVER! I HATE PEOPLE WHO DO THAT! But with the snow and everyone kind of parking haphazardly and not being able to see the lines, I just did it by accident. As a look of horror and shame spread across my face the gentleman turned around, got in his beige SUV and drove away as I finally weakly said “I DIDN’T KNOW I SWEAR”.

So in the end, ‘twas I who got egged.

Let this be a lesson. Don’t be so focused on someone else being an asshole that you become one yourself!

4 comments:

It is actually illegal in some(I am pretty sure MA is one of them) to not clear your car off. Just think, leaving it on the car, then getting on the highway and then it all comes off in a giant sheet of ice/snow and slam into the car behind you. Dangerous. But, in the end you are right, should focus less on the assholery of other people