The family prepares for Alex's middle-school graduation, including Jay trying to conceal a cosmetic-procedure mishap, Claire is on edge and Phil antagonizes her, and Mitchell makes jokes at Cameron's expense.

Phil and Claire decide to switch parenting roles for a day, while Jay gives entrepreneur advice to a friend opening a dog training business, and Cameron comes down with the flu on the night of a Lady Gaga concert.

Luke becomes friends with a curmudgeon old neighbor, which does not please Phil and Claire. Meanwhile, Gloria and Manny try to get Jay to join them at the symphony, but in an attempt to avoid the concert, he instead goes with Mitchell and Cameron on their "boys' night out", and Haley babysits for Lily.moreless

After Phil and Claire have a huge argument, which Phil knows nothing about, Gloria counsels Phil and Jay deals with Claire. Meanwhile, Cameron is working diligently on a fundraiser and enlists the help of Mitchell and Luke, and Jay buys Gloria a karaoke machine.

It's Phil and Claire's anniversary, and when the kids go to surprise them with breakfast in bed, they get a surprise of their own. Jay and Gloria's plans for a Vegas vacation are ruined because of a brutally honest email accidentally sent to Claire, and Mitchell and Cam try to get into a new restaurant owned by a mom at Lily's preschool.moreless

Phil and Claire pressure Alex to ease back on her school work, but begin to worry about their own intellectual drives. Meanwhile, Jay tries to nip in the bud a burgeoning friendship with a boring couple he and Gloria met on vacation, and Mitchell runs into an old female flame.

A School dance is coming up and it will be a first for Luke and Manny. But, Jay and Phil think this is a big deal and it turns into an eventful day at the mall. Claire tells Gloria she doesn't need her help with planning the dance with the parents' dance committee. Cam and Mitchell are surprised when Lily doesn't seem to be making friends on the playground.moreless

Mitchell tries to tell Cameron's mother that he feels uncomfortable around her. Meanwhile, Haley, much to Claire's delight, breaks up with Dylan, but Phil still keeps in contact with him, and Jay's harmless stomach ache gets worse after Manny looks it up on the Internet.

It's Manny's birthday and the family is gathering at a restaurant to celebrate, though Manny himself is depressed about getting older. Phil and Claire decide to engage in a not-so-friendly car race on the way to the restaurant, and Mitch and Cam get sidetracked when they stop at the mall to pick up a gift.moreless

Claire and Haley are both stuck home sick, and begin to bond. Phil deals with a chirping smoke detector, Gloria and Manny surprise Jay at work, and Cameron takes Lily to shoot a commercial behind Mitchell's back.

Claire, in her love for Halloween, makes the house look spooky for the trick or treaters. She wants to give each family member a role to play, but many problems come up to prevent it. Cameron hates Halloween because of a traumatic childhood experience, Mitchell had a bad day at work, and Gloria is acting weird because Jay and Manny teased her accent.moreless

In an attempt to reconnect the family, Phil and Claire challenge them to see who can abstain from using their electronic devices the longest. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron attempt to get Lily into the best pre-school, and Gloria deals with the neighbor's barking dog.

Claire tries to stop Phil from giving an unfunny speech and embarrassing himself at a Realtors' banquet, while Mitchell tries to convince Cameron to change his wardrobe. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria go to a quinceañera hosted by one of his employees, and Haley gives Alex advice on how to be cool.moreless

After an earthquake hits the town, Claire gets stuck with the plumber in the bathroom. Meanwhile, when going out with Jay, Manny experiences an existential crisis. Also, Mitchell and Cameron use the quake to get out of a party that is being thrown by their friend.

When she finds out that Alex is interested in a boy, Claire becomes over-protective, while Haley tries to give her sister advice. Meanwhile, Gloria begins to cook more traditional Colombian food in honor of her late grandmother, which is received in jest by Jay, and Mitchell reveals his aversion to PDA.moreless

Claire finally convinces Phil that it's time to get rid of their old station wagon, and it prompts everybody to take a trip down memory lane. Meanwhile, Mitchell decides to build Lily a life-size princess castle and Manny invites a cute girl over to study, which doesn't sit well with Gloria.moreless

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