I was a background extra, which is
just to give background color to a scene, like the color of paint on a
background wall, only less important. The script probably read something like:
“a large room filled with 200 fans, mostly in colorful costumes with one geek
and two nerds.” I was one of the
nerds. All this and I was paid $80 for the day (as opposed to me paying $20
to go to a real convention as I did the previous weekend).

I planned out my schedule: grab a
sketchbook, get the kids to school, catch the train to NYC, jump on the subway
to the
Brooklyn Lyceum, yeah, I could do that.

As I hopped onto the subway train a
half hour ahead of schedule, I was feeling good and smug that I, a boy form the
suburbs, was finally doing what working commuters do everyday, and I would even
make it to work on time. Then I looked more carefully at the subway map and
realized I was heading in the direction of the Bronx instead of Brooklyn. (Hey,
they both start with “B” and I was kinda sleepy.)

One transfer and 32 minutes later I
was back on schedule and believe it or not, made it there on time.

DID I SEE ANY STARS?

Well, not right away. The closest I
got to any stars was a dirty and torn changing screen with marker pen and
masking tape on it that said, “Property of 30 Rock” on it.

Ted Danson (center) with Jason
Schwartzman (right) from the window of the room where they
kept the unfed and unwashed extras (me).

SO WHAT DID YOU DO?

We sat around for a few hours. People
got into beautiful and elaborate costumes of their own creation, and we sat
around and excitedly chattered as we watched the temperature rise quickly as our
spirits sank slowly.

After 2 ½ hours a burly guy brought in
sandwiches and gruffly said, “take only one”, and for some reason the 50
sandwiches he brought in failed to feed the 175 extras there.

Then they released us for lunch, so
the people in costumes & make-up got out of their costumes and we went searching
for food. Nice pizza place across the street.

SO WAIT, WHAT DID YOU DO, AGAIN?

We sat around and talked more after
lunch. I met a professional SAG extra (Hi, Leonard), a Painter and Art Teacher
(Hi, Milena), a costume designer, students, etc.

Around 2pm the film company took in
some of the brighter costumes and spread them around the large main floor of the
set. The rest of us couldn’t see anything in the hot attic we were in, so the
minutes seemed to crawl by.

Around 4pm the company sent home the
first casualty. A guy in an elaborate and metal robot costume was overwhelmed
by heat exhaustion and the on set nurse (not just someone in a nurse’s costume)
had a company worker take the extra home in a cab and make sure he was ok.

SO, WAIT, DID YOU EVER GET ON THE SET
AND DO ANYTHING?

Finally, after the long, hot day, I
was called down to the set and was put in the background. I had not seen the
set or the actors up to this point. The room was made up to be a small comic
book convention, with tables and comics & some actual creators, etc.

The assistant director said he wanted
all of us background people to make some quiet conversation, so I turned to the
woman to my left and told her……

(Whoops, my wife is calling me to
dinner; I’ll have to get back to this tomorrow).

TITILLATING TALES of TV-LAND. Part II

So I turn to this woman in a BatGirl
costume, whom I have never spoken with before and say, “Be prepared to see the
worst drawing of yourself you’ve ever seen in your life.”

I decided that was going to be my
costume & character. Crazy Comic Book Artist who never stops drawing (Crazy
Artist, that’s quite the stretch for me, huh?).

MY ART IS FEATURED ON HBO'S BORED TO
DEATH.

Well, once again, not exactly.
But every time the cameras rolled in my direction, by some shear stroke of
luck, my sketchbook page would fall open, facing the camera. Today, I can’t
find that sketchbook, but it was fun to do at the time. I took a couple of
pictures just to picture message to the kids back at home who were probably
wondering why daddy was not burning their dinner, as he usually does every
night.

DAY 2 OF MY 15 SECONDS OF FAME

The 2 day-shoot probably accounts for
2 minutes of screen time, so don't blink.

SO WHERE DO WE SEE YOU?

Look directly at Wonder Woman's
breasts.

I was standing 20 feet behind an
actress dressed as Wonder Woman that Ted Danson's character flirts with. I
was told by some of the men at my church that if you have one of those new 3-D
High Def TVs, you might be able to get right up to the screen while wearing the
3-D glasses and push Wonder Woman chest to the side, but I think they might have
been kidding.

THE CONTINUING CONUNDRUM OF CONTINUITY

On the 2nd day, I decided to wear
sandals instead of my heavy hiking boots to beat the heat. After all, no
one will be looking at my feet. Guess again!

The assistant director moved some of
us background pieces to the other side of the room, so now I was one of the fans
waiting in line to talk with the comic book creator of "Super Ray", played by
the actor Zack Galifianakis.

SPOILER ALERT

The episode is titled, "Super Ray is
Mortal", and in Zack is stabbed with an exacto knife (I did that to myself once,
it can really hurt), and then the perpetrator is wrestled to the ground by Jason
Schwartzman's character...right at the feet of myself and the other comic book
fans.

So, the size 11 1/2 sandals, that's
me! Yeah! My famous feet!

In between takes, Jason checked for
messages on his cell phone and talked with the show's creator about going to a
ball game over the weekend (I think he's a Yankees fan, but you'll have to ask
him yourself).

We'll just have to see how long the
scene goes in the finished piece. In the previews, it looked like a minor
scene in the story. It may be my 0.0015 seconds of fame.