Hate Read This Story About Coachella MILFs

Hate Read This Story About Coachella MILFs

For anyone who is currently experiencing Coachella FOMO, this New York Post story has arrived just in time to remind you why you are glad you didn’t go.

Its subject is moms who “spend thousands on cosmetic surgery to get Coachella-ready.” And if you’re already thinking it’s going fill you with irrational rage, I’ve got good news for you. Enter Sarah Mirmelli, a 33-year old divorced mother of two, who spent $20,000 getting ready for the famous concert.

Her clothing alone for the weekend — a “sick” outfit featuring a vintage Guns N’ Roses T-shirt, YSL army jacket, denim cutoffs, corset, thigh-high leather boots — was $8,000. She spent thousands more on Botox, lip injections, boxing classes and a personal trainer who helped her drop 10 pounds in advance of the three-day-long concert in the California desert. In the month leading up to it, she even gave up alcohol and went vegan to get in shape for the debauchery to come.

Is there a convenient pull-quote that summarizes the entire spirit of the thing? Yes!

“[Getting ready for it] doesn’t have to be a full-time job,” she says. “But I’m making it one.”

It can’t get worse than that, can it, you might be thinking. Sure it can.

“You can go like a peasant, too, but it’s going to suck,” says Mirmelli, who splits her time between Miami and Midtown and works as an associate publisher for Haute Living (when she’s not prepping for “ ’Chella”). “The goal is looking blog-ready.”

Anyone else want to get in on this? Fuck it, why not, says Annette Cooper, who’s hired a stylist for the occasion.

“I’m normally a girl with heels, but you really have to have a comfortable shoe, because it’s all about the music,” she says, but then quickly admits that it’s not really all about the music.

“The draw is the people that go,” she says. “It’s amazing — we met oncologists, real estate developers, bankers. I was amazed.”