Wilbert Elvy, Drunk Driver, Really Quite Insistent on Driving Drunk

We are fans of drinking, yes, but never drunk driving, because, you know, you could really hurt someone (and often do). Thus it is with great disappointment that we heard the tale of Mount Vernon man Wilbert A. Elvy, 46 (certainly old enough to know better!), who was arrested in the wee hours of the morning on Tuesday not once but twice in a row, in the span of two hours, for drunk driving.

Via the New York Post, the first stop was apparently after Elvy failed to lower the brights on his 1999 Cadillac Escalade; New York state troopers determined he had a blood alcohol level of 0.14 percent and released him to "a sober passenger who told them she was going to drive him home." Imagine their surprise when they saw him AGAIN, just two hours later, on another highway, weaving and crossing the line like a dangerous asshole.

That time, Elvy was arrested and taken to the station with a blood alcohol content of 0.11 percent; he eventually posted bail and was sent home with a girlfriend. He'll be back in court May 4. In the meantime, dude, drink yourself silly if you must, but stay out of the driver's seat. (Lady friend: Take away his keys.) Please.