I Was Thinking...In the midst of everything, it’s important we remember toLISTEN. Let’s listen to the loneliness behind the eye roll.Let’s listen to the fear behind the food issues.Let’s listen to grief behind the stomp of feet.Let’s listen to the confusion behind the lies.When we hear the real story, we will be able to help them find their HAPPY ENDING!

I Was Thinking…As the season is beginning to change here in Minnesota, I am reminded that life has its seasons too. That in many ways, like the seasons, we have to remember things WILL change.

Especially as adoptive parents, we have to remind ourselves how important it is to have HOPE, to focus on the FUTURE and not dwell in the past, to try to get up everyday ready to move FORWARD and in all these times we must take our children with us; they can't do it alone. It is up to us to show them with our actions and attitudes how to walk through the seasons of life.

There are GLORIOUS times in life....like the orange and gold and red of the beautiful fall leaves.

There are LONELY, DREAD-FILLED times....like the gray bleak days of winter.

We must remember there are also the times of RENEWAL, GROWTH and HEALING of spring....like the return of the songbirds, the first green bud on the trees, or the colorful blossoms pushing up out of the cold ground.

Don't get stuck - be the change of the seasons in your family's life. Commit to do your best to move forward each day! Look for the glorious moments and concentrate on them; they will give you the fuel to reach for a daily sense of renewal. Renewal that will ultimately lead to healing!

I Was Thinking...The other day it dawned on me - we (adoptive/foster parents) get frustrated and sad because others don't understand the hard stuff we deal with. We want so much for the world to see what a real day-in-the-life of an adoptive or foster family is.

We feel judged. Ignored. Unsupported.

But, If we want it to change we need to work hard to...see it differently!say it differently! and do it differently!

Let's not let see ourselves through the filter our child has ended up with...or the skewed view of those that haven't lived it. Don't become bitter or afraid. Don't blame or get frozen.Don't doubt yourself or your support system. We are good parents who are trying to do the RIGHT THING.

Let's use words to express our feelings that are rooted from the voice of that parent that knows this is a hard job, knows that their child has deficits, knows that this is a process, knows that others really can't understand unless they've lived it, believes they deserve support and KNOWS THEY CAN DO IT!

Let's do it with the dignity, strength, tenacity, hope, fire and passion of the people we are deep down inside. The parents that know this is the right thing to do! Our children DID NOT ASK to have suffered their past!

YOU can make a difference for yourself and other adoptive/foster parents!Speak Out.Take Classes.Educate Your Support System.Engage in conversations on Facebook.Try New Techniques.Try Old Things AgainAs you see it differently you will begin to say it differently, which will energize you to do it differently!

This kind of commitment can not be ignored or judged negatively and it will overwhelmingly earn the respect of those who you need support from.