Month: April 2020

Zorro here. Mommy told us an interesting story this week. A long, long time ago, before Ziggy and I were even born (Mommy says 1868), British Post Office cats started getting a weekly salary. They even got a raise later. Their job was to catch mice.

I think paying cats is a great a great idea. Ziggy and I are trying to think of things we can do to make money. There aren’t many mice to catch, but I help Mommy write by laying in her lap. When she gets stuck and has to think about something, she reaches down and pets me. She says that helps get her going again.

Ziggy sometimes helps, too. He walks on Mommy’s computer and adds things to what she’s doing. Mommy doesn’t seem to like it, though, so he must not be doing it right. He would probably need some training before he could get paid.

If Ziggy and I got a paycheck, it would be fun picking out things to buy. We wouldn’t need to spend any of our money on food, like Mommy and Daddy do, because they buy us lots of good kitty food.

We wouldn’t have to spend it on litter, either, because we always have plenty of that. And Mommy scoops the box several times a day, so it stays pretty clean. We don’t need comfy places to sleep, either, because Mommy and Daddy always let us sleep on the bed.

Maybe toys. Although, we have some pretty fun toys, too. There’s the red one with the scratchy thing in the middle and the ball that goes ‘round and ‘round. And the toy lizard that looks real.

At Aunt Kim’s house, we have a long fuzzy thing on a stick that Mommy shakes. It’s so much fun to chase.

We even have a kitty condo with perches to lie on, hidey holes to sleep in and posts to scratch on.

Hmm, I can’t think of anything we could buy with our money. Mommy and Daddy already give us everything we want.

Ziggy here. You’re probably wondering why I’m starting out with a picture of a dog. No, I’m not having an identity crisis. It’s because Mommy has been talking a lot about dogs lately. She just finished writing a book about a search and rescue dog, and she’s really excited about it. Zorro and I think she’s a little too excited. She keeps talking about search and rescue dogs and how what they do is so interesting. Like how dogs have 600 million scent receptors in their noses and people have only 6 million. (I guess she didn’t even bother to look up how many cats have.)

Mommy’s been saying a bunch of other things about search and rescue dogs, too. Like how they have to get used to a bunch of different sights and smells and sounds. And how they learn to walk on all kinds of uneven surfaces, even climb ladders. And how they are able to pick one person’s scent out of a whole bunch of other smells.

But not all dogs can do search and rescue. Mommy said they have to be tested first to make sure they’re friendly and not aggressive. Zorro and I would pass that test, because we’re not aggressive and we’re both friendly. I’m friendlier than Zorro, though, because he’s afraid of strangers. When someone that we don’t know comes over, Zorro hides, but I run up and rub against their legs. I always hope they’ll feed me, but they never do. I usually get petted, though, which is kind of nice.

Oh, yeah, back to search and rescue dogs and how Mommy keeps going on about how talented and smart and wonderful they are. Zorro and I are starting to get a little worried. The next thing you know, she’s going to be bringing home a puppy.

Mommy seems really impressed, but we can’t figure out what’s the big deal. After all, cats are good at finding things, too. And we’re really stealthy. If a bad guy was breaking into a store to steal cat toys, we could sneak up on him a lot easier than a dog. I bet we could find a missing child, too. Especially if he rolled in catnip. I don’t even mind wearing a leash. Mommy and Daddy make Zorro and I both wear leashes and harnesses when we travel.

I don’t see any reason why Zorro and I can’t be trained to do search and rescue. In fact, I think that’s what Mommy’s next book needs to be about—a search and rescue cat, starring…me!

When I’m happy, I purr, and that’s most of the time, especially if Mommy’s around. I love Daddy, but Mommy’s my favorite person in the whole world.

I purr a lot. Like when Mommy first adopted me. She took me to the vet and I just couldn’t stop purring. The doctor was pressing this round thing to my chest, trying to listen to my heartbeat and my breathing, and he said all he could hear was my purring. He tried tipping me over, but that didn’t work, either. I can purr upside down just as easily as I can purr right side up.

So then he took me into the back where there was a sink with a faucet. When he turned the handle and water started coming out, that did the trick. I hate baths! But as soon as I found out that he wasn’t going to put me in the water, I started purring again. But he was done with the round thing by then, so my purring was okay.

When Mommy left the vet with me, I was still purring, and I purred all the way through Tractor Supply. Mommy put me in the cart and packed a pail of litter and a bunch of cans of kitty food in all around me. That was totally okay. I never mind sharing my space with kitty food.

Whenever Mommy travels, she usually takes Ziggy and me with her. But sometimes she goes places that she can’t take us. Then I really miss her. But she misses me, too. She has the sound of a cat purring on her phone and plays that while she sleeps so she doesn’t miss me so much.

Purring has other purposes, too. Some people say purring actually helps cats get better faster. The vibrations it makes help ease our breathing, lessen pain, build muscle, repair tendons and even heal bones and booboos.

But I don’t have any booboos. In fact, I’m really comfortable. I’m purring now because I’m a happy kitty!

Ziggy here. The other day, Mommy said something about Daddy letting the cat out of the bag. I got all excited, but when I looked around, I didn’t see any cats except Zorro. And he wasn’t in a bag. He was laying on one of the dining room chairs.

But Mommy said she wasn’t talking about a real cat. She said she meant “spilled the beans,” which really doesn’t make any more sense to me than letting the cat out of the bag. Mommy said people say that because a long time ago (before Zorro and I were even born), some farmers would put kittens in bags and sell them as piglets. When these people got home and opened the bag, a kitten would come out.

I don’t see what the problem was. Why wouldn’t somebody be excited to find out that they got a kitten instead of a piglet? We’re a lot softer and we purr. We curl up in your lap and make great company. Pigs don’t do any of that. Besides, we’re really cute. I mean, look at this face:

Another weird thing that humans say is “Cat got your tongue?” Zorro and I never mess with Mommy or Daddy’s tongue. That would just be weird. Zorro likes to lick Mommy’s nose, though. Mommy encourages him, telling him what a sweet kitty he is. But I wonder about him sometimes.

People say other crazy things about cats, too. Like “It’s raining cats and dogs.” I haven’t talked to any dogs, but I’ve never met a cat that fell out of the sky, at least not that they could remember.

And why does everyone say “scaredy-cat”? I’m not scared. I’m brave. Mommy used to have a dog that was so scared of storms she would start shaking before it even started raining. She was a “scaredy-dog.” But no one ever says that. It’s always the cat who gets the bad rap.

And here’s another one: “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” That one makes me nervous. I’m not sure what skinning a cat is, but it doesn’t sound like fun. When Mommy says that, I go hide.

But I’m not hiding now, because I just heard Mommy put our dishes in the sink. That means in a few minutes, they’re going to be washed and full of fresh food. Zorro and I will be scarfing it down, because we love to eat. Hmm, I wonder if there are any cat sayings for that. I’m going to make a cat of myself…I’m catting down my food…Zorro eats like a cat…

Nah, those just don’t have the right ring. We’ll let the pigs, wolves and horses keep those sayings.