Learn from your interactions – watch, listen and reflect upon your interactions when your child makes a mistake. Remember: constructive criticism is feedback that assists the child/adolescent to understand how to fix something. This is different to feedback which labels the child, or excuses the child for the mistake.

At the end of each day, review the constructive criticism you gave to your child/adolescent (either with your partner or by yourself in a journal for example) and approach from a growth/learning mindset yourself so that you improve, become an even better parent and maintain motivation to keep improving your communication with your child/adolescent.

Parents often set goals for their children/adolescents to work towards.

Remember, innate talent is not a goal. Expanding knowledge and skills is.

Lowering standards should also be watched for as this does not raise self-esteem, but neither does raising standards with no way of attaining them (break into steps and plan). Provide feedback on their process of achieving them.

Ask yourself:

Do you honestly believe your child/adolescent will never be able to learn well?

Do they think of themselves as permanently dumb?

Are you a fixed mindset parent?

Are you intolerant of mistakes yourself?

Do you try to motivate your child/adolescent through judgment? [Instead give them respect and the “coaching” they need]

Instead work with them to try and figure out:

what they do not understand

what learning strategies they do not have.

[Remember to remind yourself about the growth mindset and the process of learning.]