The Real Life of a Work At Home Dad

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Category Archives: Making Ends Meet: Finance, Failure, and Freaking Out

I’m putting this category out there because there is sure to be much talk about how to financially make the situation of a work at home dad… well, work. I’ll be straight up honest right now, it is not easy — but, it is doable!

So… due to life and bills to pay, I found myself away from home and in clinic for an entire week. Now, first things first: I was very thankful to this relationship with this local clinic I per diem at. We have a wonderful working arrangement and it helps that we’re pretty darn close in terms of a drive/walk. #Awesome

Well, what was supposed to be more of a half day all week turned into practically full time work all week. It worked out in most respects in that there are bills to pay and we gotta do the work, sometimes & many times, that we rather not.

I learned a lot about the healthcare consumer, my role as a clinical physical therapist, and even how that despite such a break from clinical care these last (nearly) two years… I’m still spot on with so much of what I do. I guess it really is like what they say about “riding a bike.” Now, while I enjoyed being in the clinic again… what hurt was being away from family.

After all, this was the first time in TWO YEARS I was away from home and family at a full time pace.

Ultimately, being away all day for a full time equivalent work week… I noticed something truly remarkable in parenting. First, my son was in a bad mood most of the day. Even though I took lunch at home, my wife would tell me how grumpy he would be in my absence. Our boy just likes having both parents around. We also, ironically, realized that mommy & daddy represented certain facets of emotions… much like Disney’s Inside Out.

Mommy = Anger, Fear, and Disgust.

Daddy = Joy & Sadness.

How accurate was this? Well… one day, I came home and Nate went from absolute anger-fit to super giggle happy. He got so happy we were running around and he ran into a wall. Immediately… he began to cry in the saddest most pitiful cry ever.

Well… that seemed to be our dynamic for the week. The biggest lesson I learned was this: I belong at home. I am MEANT to be Daddy In The Raw… a work at home dad.

I can’t say it’s been easy. I can’t even say it’s been financially advisable (yet! some big news, hopefully around the corner) or emotionally stable. However, it is something I know is right for my family.

Well, after such a long and hard week, we felt there was no better way than to make a quick impromptu trip to Disneyland 🙂

Here are some highlights:

Crazy swag!

Selfie after front row seating at the Paint The Night Parade.

Entrance into Tomorrowland.

How it started in the front. Now, diamonds in the back.

Ultimately, I learned that no matter where you are on your journey… you must find your home. Your home might be your actual home. It may be your family, your friends, your profession, your passion, your hobby, etc. Whatever that home is, find yourself there and start there. Why? Well… everyone starts somewhere. Even, Walt Disney.

Just to add some dramatic balance to the blog… ha ha! I wanted to contrast where I am now to some of the lowest of lows from a year back or so.

The reality is this. When I was at my lowest of lows… it was so bad that my wife, Christina, who is typically very unworried about my well being… mostly because I known as this super happy, joyful, positive, constructive, can get through anything kinda guy… she came up to me and stopped the world to ask me:

“Are you okay?”

Oh, it wasn’t an emoji situation. This was the real deal loss of interest in… everything.

I was never more credentialed. I had never been more desirable a candidate to just about any company. I mean, common! I had a doctorate with honors. I had an MBA with honors. I climbed up the management ladder in record time.

And…. I had NEVER been more rejected and moreover ignored by the job market. Every application I sent in, every cold call, every networking attempt… silence.

It was nuts. It was insane. It was beyond fathomable. In fact… it was…

Truth be told, if it wasn’t for the love & patient of my wife, the joy of my son, and some amazing friends out there… PS. shoutout to the Rebellion Academy where I train in BJJ… I would’ve been truly lost.

I’d be lying if I didn’t mention I’d love to have more financial padding in this entrepreneurial journey. Of course, it wouldn’t actually be a startup journey if I *was* financially padded. That is, until I exit with $$$$$! That’s the goal, anyway.

So, where I am I now?

Well, the conference went well and we’re pursuing business leads to grow, scale, and quite possibly expand. I’m back to BJJ after a month off due to all the business activity in February 2016. AND, my kiddo is a major chatter box of love. AAAAAND, we’re in our anniversary month 🙂

That’s always a good thing.

I guess the moral of this part of the story is… no matter how low you get, so long as the people who mean most to you are there to help lift you back up, you’ll alright. It’s all gonna be good. You just have to keep moving.

Since I work from home, my family is very accustomed to me being around and generally available. Work isn’t a set structure. Rather, my work is done throughout the day, in splurts, chunks, and segments.

That’s just how it is.

However, last week was the first week in months if not the last two years that I had to spend concentrated time away from family.

Props to my hero wife for managing the situation.

This is how it went down…

Back with Better Plans

The whole conference was a 100 mile an hour sprint from start to finish. The entire time, my business partner and I were booking it from one place to another, one meeting to another, covering the conference with our fancy media/press badges… getting into backroom areas no one else had access to.

Well… it was a crazy amazing conference. Very productive. And, we were completely exhausted. It required soooo much phone use. Speaking of… I basically do 60% of my work via my phone. Thankfully, I brought this with me:

I’ve had soooo many posts scheduled; but, as this blog developed, things got more current and relevant. However, I also know there’s a lot of interest on how everything came about. So, my plan is this: I’m going to basically put all of my posts prior planned as TBT posts…. just to catch the story up to where I am now.

THEN, I’m going to move onto current happenings of my story as a Work At Home Dad.

I’m STILL flirting with the idea of a regular broadcast. Honestly, I just don’t have time to do a podcast. However, I think a regular Periscope with a weekly recorded vlog addition may be of interest…???

Let me know!

Okay… that’s it for now. I’m going to gather my posts and will start to get them out again. Looking forward to more fun stories…. some stuff, going waaaaaay back.

Effective in May’ish of 2014, I stopped working in traditional roles and began a journey toward working at home. In February of 2015, much of a toll had been taken on myself as well as my family — financially, emotionally, mentally, professionally… the direction was missing. In fact, I was a little bit lost. I was finishing up my MBA with confusing job prospects. And, life was seemingly divergent in the paths I was to take. It was during this time that my family was at a critical point; mere moments away from finding out if we were going to move across the country and start over… completely over. Or, to chalk this up to a hard learned life lesson in… failure? Or… was it something more?

It was more 😉

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About Me

Hi, I'm Ben and in 2013, I became a dad! Many of you probably know me better as "Dr. Ben Fung" - but here, I drop the doctor title, position, and pride, to give you a raw look at my life as a Work-At-Home Dad who quit a $6-Figure job to become a better father.

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