Just Clone Me, Already

I’ve talked about my successes with searching New York State vital records indexes at the National Archives regional branch in NYC. That’s me; always putting my best foot forward. Today’s edition is about the other foot.

Does anyone else find themselves wishing they had a clone along for the ride whenever they visit a major records repository? I know I do.

This clone would be an idealized, hyperaware form of me (perhaps synthesized from some super-secret, ultra-octane Irish-German DNA grown in a medium of Guinness and Weissbier). It would tag along to places like the National Archives regional facility in Manhattan. I’m sure the security folks would be fine with it once we both cleared the metal detector.

Upstairs at the archives, my clone would:

• Bring the sweater I desperately need, even in high summer. The microfilm room is a MEAT LOCKER, people.

• Remember what the Soundex code for “Walker” is so I don’t have to go checking for it.

• Notice that I’m starting to nod over the microfiche viewer and say brightly: “Look at you — at that rate you’re going to miss something big! Tell you what, why don’t you grab a cup of coffee — I’ll take over for a bit.”

• Poke me as we’re leaving and say: “Hey! You found that kid’s birth for 1899 but you forgot to check the 1899 deaths for her! Just thought I’d save you an extra trip.”