Going out with your ladyboy date shouldn’t feel like you’re a member of a secret society for closeted gay men. It will not only hurt your partner but yourself as well in the long run.

How will secrecy negatively impact your life?

You may feel like everything is going peachy on your side. You have a seemingly “perfect” normal life and you are keeping your ladyboy date on the down low. You’re currently happy with the setup but it’s inevitable that people will find out about your relationship with your ladyboy girlfriend. Things will explode and it will give you a big mess to clean especially if rumors start spreading within your family, friends, and workplace. There are 2 scenarios which may occur, your ladyboy girlfriend whom you love so much decides that she’s over being kept like a dirty little secret and breaks up and you and the other is you, continuing to be stagnant from moving forward with your life partner and living a lie just to impress other people. Why does a nod from someone else matter to you so much that you’re willing to compromise your own comfort and happiness?

Is it HER or YOU?

Do you still secretly consider your ladyboy date as a “man” and it’s the very reason why you’re still afraid of people thinking you’re gay?

Listen Jerry, us transgender women are WOMEN.

You don’t get to decide who we are by subconsciously making us feel we are not women by you having doubts about your own sexuality. Not only are we insulted by you keeping us like we are a ticking bomb from the society, we’re also insulted that you haven’t accepted us as women yet.

Figure yourself OUT

You have to know yourself and don’t just hop in a relationship with your ladyboy date just because you want to experiment with your sexuality. Know what you want (it can take years) before you impose yourself and compromise others’ lives for you. Just like what RuPaul said, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Can I get an Amen? Seriously, you have to know, accept, and love yourself before trying to fully love others.

You CAN’T let people know about your ladyboy date because…

I know that we all have different circumstances in life. There are times when our life is on the line just because of our choices.
If your ladyboy is ok with being kept as a secret, that’s on her. Good for you and good for her… but, why invest in something when you both know that it’s probably going to end up nowhere…