I just force myself to do something. Actually, most of the time I'm riding a wave of sleep-deprivation and exertion....it's like if I slow down for too long then I feel worse and I'll lose my productivity and everything. So I just keep going. I guess it beats sitting around in bed all day. *shrug*

----Steve

"Before you judge someone, try walking in their shoes for a mile. That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

Yon don't lack motivations....you're just more motivated to sit on your ass than to do other stuff.
Being lazy has it's pay off. It's comfortiable and relaxing. You don't have to do shit or worry about shit.

There's nothing wrong with you. It's just habits. Breaking out of a habit that you no longer find benicial or soothing to you is a son of a bitch.
Make little changes in your routine....Kind of like taking down a brick wall. A little here..a little there. Eventaully the structure will fall...
Then you'll get into a habit of doing shit all the time...that too can be unhealthy. So you gatta break those damn habits and learn how to chill the fuck out and relax.
You might even go from one extreem to the other....eventaully you'll find a balance and unity that will work for you.

My bed is in the center of my room, with my computer at the head, 2 tvs and 6 video game consoles at the side, and another big table on the other side. Theres also a small table against a wall blocking part of the one side of the bed thats accessible, this is so that the mattress will never move...

I put holes in my bedspread to tie it on all sides so that I would never have to make it or move it...

And my idea of cleaning is to boil and apply hot water rather then scrub or rinse with soap...

Why can't I see what's in front of me?

I see the doors that I can't open
Adding locks from time to time
When it opens something blocks me
And I'm asking myself why
Did I take the step I wanted
Was it just a state of mind?
I feel sorry for myself
every time I close my eyes.

And I fall into a hole
and I can take no more (x4)

Why can't I see what's in front of me?

What's behind the door I wonder
Must be brighter than my past
Will I feel a little different
When i take myself across
Was it really worth the turning?
Was it just a foolish task
I feel sorry for myself
when i open up my eyes...