next story

A Brief History of Rachel McAdams' Time-Traveling Dating Obsession

You know how you've got that one single friend who's always saying how she's tried everything and you're thinking, No! You've forgotten to try one really big thing! It could be actually being nice when a guy approaches her in a bar. It could be choosing an online dating profile picture in which she's not wearing her Gandalf Halloween costume. If this friend was Rachel McAdams, the major missed trick in question would be simply dating in the present. This girl is looking for love in all the wrong places, and by places, I mean time periods. Let's review:

2004: In The Notebook, Rachel goes to 1940 and falls in love with a Newsies-lookin' guy from the wrong side of the tracks. Seeing as this guy is played by Ryan Gosling, we can't blame her. But then, it starts to become a habit.

2009: In The Time Traveler's Wife, Rachel has to sit at home stewing while Eric Bana skids across centuries, always returning with a wide-eyed "Who me?" look all over his face.

2011: We all like to think we don't have a type, but we do. Rachel is no exception. Having escaped Bana and his disappearing act, she falls right into the arms of Owen Wilson, who doesn't even attempt to hide his Midnight in Paris philandering in other dimensions. No, seriously, his cover-up is that he's "going for a walk." Rach, wake up! Promise us, no more time-traveling, OK?

2012: If you didn't know Rachel as well as us, you might not get that The Vow is pretty much the perfect rebound experience for someone chronically into time-traveling love. If you have no memory, you don't have to accept any of the present's responsibilities. What you can do is allow Channing Tatum to do his very best, naked and clothed, to convince you that he's your soul mate. Do you, Rach?

2013: About Time, in which yet another time traveler (Domhnall Gleeson) pursues Rachel, opens on Friday. It's here to remind America that time-traveling as a heterosexual male and being besotted by Rachel McAdams are mutually exclusive. It would have been physically impossible to make this movie without her.

2014: Rachel swears she's changed, but she's got us on a technicality here. In next year's Passengers, she finds love with Keanu Reeves on a spacecraft. Fine, OK. What's that you say? There's more? A malfunction leads to Keanu waking up 90 years before everyone else, and that means he's growing old faster and he's going to die first, so he wakes up Rachel to be his ladyfriend? And they find love while traveling at the speed of light and aging at super speeds? Touche, McAdams. You've got me. I can't even say whether this love story is set in the past, the present, or the future. But I know you're loving every minute of it.

Photos: IMDB

ADVERTISEMENT

Megan AngeloEntertainment writer. I love talking about TV so much, you'll eventually back slowly away from me at a party.