I have a mate who does “deals” with his kids i.e. if he wants them to do something or they want something then they work out a deal. In cases like this it’s no deal. They do learn whats negotiable and whats not eventually, what you really have to worry about is when they get better at the deal making than you and the logic torpedos get fired!

Not to sound callous, but why did you bring her home on Friday ? chances are she will now think she can get out of school ?

+1, why on earth did you give in?

And not to be pessimistic, but it could take longer than a couple of weeks. My eldest cried every day for at least a term – she’d be fine at school, and happy as anything at home time, she just hated being left there. She did get over it eventually, and it wasn’t something I was prepared to negotiate!

I didn’t, my wife did. But I accepted her decision because our daughter was tying herself in knots, wringing her hands, giving herself stomach ache etc. I have *never* seen her like she was on Friday morning.

I didn’t, my wife did. But I accepted her decision because our daughter was tying herself in knots, wringing her hands, giving herself stomach ache etc. I have *never* seen her like she was on Friday morning.

Yeah, kids can be good at that, and as parents we’re programmed to try and sort out whatever’s bothering them. But this is one time when you have to be firm, the school will be used to it at this time of year, and your daughter will soon get over it.

Our daughter responds very well to a sticker/reward chart.
She quickly learnt that if she is good and gets to the top she soon earns a reward, and if she is naughty then the sticker moves down.
You have to be strict and consistent with the chart as parents.

Week three of school and all of a sudden we have encountered ‘I don’t want to go to school’ – it was first triggered on Friday morning when we were discussing what they (twins) would be having for lunch and one of them said she didn’t want it. It quickly descended into chaos and we had to bring her home, leaving her sister almost equally upset at the school

Have tried to find out why it all started by talking to her about it but she just goes from ‘the dinners’ through to ‘the days are too long’ and ‘I go there too much’ but she was used to longer days at nursery (although only part-time).

This morning (after much cajoling at home just to get her dressed and ready) she was left screaming the place down and kicking everything in sight. Apparently after about 10 minutes and lots of encouragement from her teacher to do something to distract her she calmed down.

The only thing I *think* it might be is that the teacher is male and she has never really got on with men – but she hasn’t actually mentioned anything to do with that.

So – what techniques has anyone tried that might work – knowing how she works (she *never* forgets) it won’t be a simple case of her forgetting what she was upset about and we fear we could be in for a few weeks of hell until she accepts that no amount of crying will change anything (ie, she will still have to go to school every day).

My kid loves to play her own games. Her own world is a rich and wonderful place. We have to force her to stop that and go to school and do as she’s told. And guess what – she’s not so keen. I wonder why? She takes after her dad.

So I’ll keep forcing her until her will is broken, and she does her job just like Daddy…. 🙁 Imagination and spirit be damned, get up and go to school. Or work.