Like this:

Adding a mixture of personalities into that compressed melting pot we call an airplane, is rarely without some form of drama. Usually it’s frustrated parents of crying children or someone snoring too loudly. But occasionally, the pot boils over and the harmony of our little micro-city is threatened. It usually involves alcohol, a bad attitude and/or a big mouth. Flying from Dallas to Las Vegas yesterday, the trio came together and I can’t help but offer a few thoughts:

If you’re an “angry” drunk, don’t drink and fly.

If you do, don’t be an ass.

If you’re drunk, angry and an ass, don’t get into a racially charged argument with fellow passengers of color and use racial slurs.

If your wife tells your drunk, angry, racist ass to be nice, don’t threaten her with assault and call her names.

If you absolutely can’t help yourself and decide to do all of the above, don’t be surprised when someone approaches and “gently” puts you back in your seat and then refuses to let you to continue running your mouth and making threats.

If you’re a fellow passenger and see a similar situation brewing, don’t sit there hoping the situation corrects itself on it’s own; it won’t.

A Proven recipe for trouble: all the above and standing there watching, doing nothing, waiting until the very drunk, angry passenger actually does what he has threatened to do and THEN trying to get involved.

And lastly, don’t get stupid on an Airplane. The TSA, Airport Police and the Airline staff will cure your attitude problem in the most unpleasant of ways and chuck what’s left of your embarrassed ass off the plane. If you’re lucky.

There are two ways to be “that” guy; be the threatening drunk or be the person watching the threatening drunk and doing nothing. Don’t be “that” guy.