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Thursday, May 27, 2010

I was really hoping to be bikini ready by then...not gonna happen. I'm just hoping I can drop a few more pounds and look not so terrible in front of everybody. I haven't done as good this week as I did last, but have still been maintaining around 175. Gosh I just know if I could make myself get into the 160's I will be on fire again!

The good news is that Skyler is finally back on the supportive wagon. He is super tall and linky, so he can eat whatever he wants. Because of this, he actually struggles with eating healthy too. He has started running again this week though and keeps asking me to go with him. I told him I will definitely start working out with him this weekend. It would be nice if we could both be motivated at the same time. It would make life so much easier!

Monday, May 24, 2010

I had a GREAT weekend! My sister's came down and we had a blast! We got to do everything we had planned...which never happens!

I took off of work Friday afternoon so when they got here we went to lunch and then got pedi's together. Then we went grocery shopping and bought tons of fruits and veggies!

We slept in on Saturday which felt oh-so-good, then got around and went shopping all day! I bought some new earrings and flip flops and the girls both got really cute swim suits. We came back to the house Saturday night worn out so we hit the hot tub and relaxed!

After we slept in again on Sunday, we laid out by the pool all afternoon until they had to leave. It was such a beautiful day...felt like the first true "summer day". I even got a little sun burned!

We didn't eat super healthy this weekend, but were very strategic about when we ate our unhealthy meals. We made sure to have our big meals at like 3:00 each day, and then in the evenings we just munched on veggies and fruit that we cut up Friday night. I didn't even drink alcohol this weekend either! The only thing we didn't do was exercise; however, we walked around the outdoor mall all day Saturday!

I gained a couple of pounds back this weekend, but nothing like I have been doing. So it wasn't a complete success, but at least partial. I can't wait to get to the 160's...hopefully this week or next! Here goes another week of struggles and hopefully successes!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Yep! It's True! I officially hit a new number on the scale for the first time in over 3 months!!! 173.8! I got down to 174 point something this winter, but I've finally broken that boundary! I think it's finally clicking with me again...I have just had an easier time dealing with my struggles this week! I just have to stay focused and keep it going. I'm pretty motivated now though...so I think I'm back on track again! Thank God! Swim suit season is knocking on the door!

So here's what I have been doing the last few months that I have to avoid:
Monday's I weigh in after a less than perfect weekend and am disappointed in myself so I decide, this is the week...I'm gonna get back on track. I eat good Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday. By Thursday my weight is back down again. I feel proud, and cocky, and like I deserve a break. Usually by Thursday I am tired so I treat myself to a less than ideal dinner. Then Friday rolls around. My weight is still in line (meaning not as high as it was on Monday). I go to my usual lunch at Abuelo's, then come home after a long week and have a couple of beers, and eat whatever the hell I feel like. Then it's the weekend. So Saturday & Sunday I have an F-it attitude and eat/drink what I want. I of course avoid the scale on those days. By the time Monday rolls back around, I'm ashamed and step on the scale to see the damage. And so the cycle continues! Not this week though!!!

I haven't beaten myself up over it too much because I was still maintaining in the high 170's to low 180's. But I was becoming discouraged because I knew I still had plenty of weight to lose. This week, it somehow clicked and I beat that stupid number and I feel pretty empowered.

Earlier this week I read Annie's post about being honest with herself, and it really struck a chord with me. I have known for the past 3 months what my problem was. I know why I haven't been losing weight. I spend my weeks just doing enough to maintain. I haven't been doing what it takes to lose. So it's not really fair for me to bitch about not losing weight, when I know why I'm not. In all fairness, I was ok with a stand still for a while. I was tired of dieting, and it felt good to just not think about it constantly. But I have been feeling pretty antsy to get back at it the last few weeks, and I really just needed that push to get me motivated again.

I really think/hope that seeing a new pound was just what I needed. I'm a bit nervous because my sister's are coming down for the weekend which usually means junk food and wine (for the two of us that are over 21). But I think we will be good this time! Laura has been losing weight too and also hit a new number this morning, so we both have tons of motivation to not slip up. We are going to go to a couple of restaurants while they are here, but we have already decided it will be for lunches and we will SHARE so that we don't over-indulge. And like I've mentioned before, she is a work-out-aholic so she can't wait to have me limping around in pain!

It is going to be very difficult (if not impossible) to hit my goal weight of 140 by August, but I'm going to try my darndest. I can at least get really close if I stay focused and get back to making smarter choices. I haven't been counting calories this week, just being smart. I think I'm gonna go with that for a while and see if it can keep working. Counting calories always helps to keep me honest, but it also just pisses me off because it takes so much time. Wish me luck! I need this to be the time I get back on the diet wagon until I reach my goal!

Monday, May 17, 2010

I have been the world's worst blogger lately! I don't write regularly anymore...and I haven't even been doing anything write-worthy. So I will try to get better...but I'm just still in a rut. Enough of that nonsense...

We had a fantastic (but busy) weekend. We went to both of our mom's houses in Missouri to celebrate mother's day a week late. I actually didn't eat too awful...considering. I even skipped the apple crisp and used a small plate for my dinner so I couldn't load it down. I didn't work out any, but I see that changing in my near future. My sister's are coming down this weekend for a girls weekend...and Laura is a freakin hoss! She does crossfit and competes in power lifting, so she will kick my ass. She is going to run outside with me, which I have really been wanting to try. And she wants to try some of my P90X videos.

I'm still fighting to get my motivation back; every day...but it's still slow goin. Don't give up on me...I'll figure it out someday!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

I'm still here and reading your blogs...just haven't been keeping up with my writing. I've just been so down lately. With the whole house thing, and just feeling overwhelmed, and then some other news that wasn't what I wanted to hear...I just can't seem to pick myself up! The good news is that I HAVE been eating healthy and my weight is on the decline (slowly, but steadily). I am hoping to see a new number by next week, which will probably put me in a good mood again. For dinner tonight I made spaghetti with spaghetti squash instead of pasta...and I am not a fan. I liked the squash on its own...but don't like it as a pasta substitute. I ate it though because it was like no calories and was filling. I can't wait to see the look on Sky's face when he eats dinner after he gets home. He will most likely be making a trip to McDonalds! haha!

I have been doing some mild exercise. Still not P90X, but at least a little bit here and there. We have a super busy weekend ahead of us. We are driving to MO to do mother's day since we didn't get to go last weekend. So we will be at my mom's on Saturday and Sky's mom's on Sunday. Sounds pretty exhausting, but should be fun at least. Well, it's only 7:00, but I think I'm about to go to bed! I'm completely exhausted, and just need to get some rest so I can turn this frown upside down (yes...I am a nerd!).

Monday, May 10, 2010

Yep! It's true...I'm making a come-back. I didn't post this weekend because I didn't want to make anymore promises that I wouldn't follow through with. So rather than doing that, I acted first and will now update you on my gradual progress. Not much to write home about yet, but I'll take gradual progress over my recent regression any day!

FITNESS
I ran on Saturday for 15 minutes, 1.38 miles straight at 5.5 speed on the treadmill!!! It's been a while since I ran last; and I have only gone for 15 minutes a few times. So not too shabby for being a bit rusty! When I went to the gym I was just hoping to run for 5 minutes with a 3 minute walk, 3 times. When I hit the 5 minute mark I was just starting to get into my groove and still feeling ok so I decided to go to 8. Still felt good at 8 so thought I would keep going to 10 minutes. Once I hit 10 I still felt like I had more in me so I committed myself to do 15 minutes. I pretty much thought I was going to die from 12 minutes on, but I kept pushing myself to make it happen. It always amazes me what a total body workout running is. I was sore everywhere the next day! I am proud of myself for getting back to the gym! I really want to get to where I can run a 5K at 6mph, or 30 minutes. I know that is not very fast. But for me, I will be more than thrilled if I can do that once a week.

Sky & I were going to play golf tonight, but we are in a Tornado Watch and it is way too windy, so that didn't pan out. We will either play tomorrow, or I will run again. Depends on the weather I suppose.

FOOD
I ate like shit this weekend, and felt very gross and unfulfilled from it! Two different times I thought to myself "Why did I do this?!", "It wasn't worth it!". So after my McDonald's lunch on Sunday I decided to stop that crap and I finished the day out good and ate pretty good today. I am working on a meal plan and grocery list to go shopping tomorrow and get real food back in the house. We did a great job of cleaning out the freezer and pantry...but now there is nothing to eat!

Moving in the Right Direction
Like I said...I didn't make any drastic changes yet; but I did take a couple of steps in the right direction, and feel pretty good about it. I was feeling down last week and this weekend after we found out that the lady backed out on the house, so I sulked for a few days. But now I'm re-focusing again I think. I even told Skyler no when he suggested ice cream tonight! :) I just pray that the fire lights back under my rear again soon and I start doing what it takes to see the results I want to see. Here's to a positive week with a good attitude!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

So work sucked...nothing new. What was new and made my day awful is that the lady purchasing our house backed out. I cried 3 times before noon between work and this whole ordeal. I feel like I'm just at my breaking point these days. I don't know how much more stress I can handle! That's it for today. Sorry for the crappy blog lately. I am just out of energy.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Man I am exhausted! I thought this week was going to get easier...but no such luck. Some people are just plain stupid and make my life harder than it needs to be! This is going to be a quick one because I just got home and haven't eaten yet, but I just want to give ya a quick update.

I haven't been eating great this week, but not too bad either. Just descent. Yesterday I had a Fiber One Bar for breakfast, Turkey Sandwich for lunch and some leftover pasta for dinner.

Today I had a Fruit Smoothie for Breakfast and I made some A-M-A-Z-I-N-G Lemon Rosemary Chicken for lunch with Boiled Carrots and Mashed Potatoes. It was so, so, so good!

I'm trying my darndest to not make bad choices when I'm stressed out and tired and frustrated. All I want is a beer, pizza, and a milkshake. But I have been doing pretty good at staying strong and making good choices. I really do have to find it in myself to get more motivated to lose weight. But I'm happy to at least not be gaining when things seen to be so overwhelming.

Regarding exercise, I have played some golf, but that's about it. No excuses...just haven't motivated myself yet. It really bums me out that I am being a slacker and wasting time...but I just can't seem to care enough to do what it takes. I will get there...I promise!!!

Monday, May 3, 2010

I hate working on Saturday's! It makes my weekend way too short! That being said, it was a pretty fabulous weekend though from Saturday night on. We went to the 3rd Annual Bug Boil (Crawfish Boil). We got to see some friends we haven't seen in a while and we laughed and talked all night! I actually didn't eat too bad on Saturday, but I did have a few glasses of wine at the party.

Sunday was spent catching up on a few things around the house, and then we went to some friends' house for a cookout. We had a lot of fun, and I kept my eating under control again. The only bad thing was that we ate a bit later than I try to, but still not awful.

And for the best news of the weekend...We got an offer on our house on Saturday!!! It went under contract on Sunday, and so now it's just a waiting game until closing! This should help relieve some major stress in our lives. I can't imagine what it will feel like to only have one home to keep up with!

I didn't make great food choices today. Mostly just dinner. I had decided to skip dinner because it was getting late and Sky hadn't made it home yet. But he had another idea. He talked me into going out for "celebration pizza". I had 3 pieces with some ranch and a Corona. Stupid!

Tomorrow is going to be a ridiculously crazy day! I have an appointment pretty much from 11:30 - 5:00...yikes! I will probably be drained when I'm done, but Sky and I have plans to play 9 holes of golf. I'm really getting into it this year, and I hope I play well! My lesson is Wednesday, so I'm hoping one more day of practice will be beneficial.

My 1st of the month weigh in on Saturday wasn't too bad; 176.2. I want to start losing weight again, but am very proud that I have maintained the last couple of months at least. My Dr. was actually very proud of me the other day and said she was just happy to see that it didn't go up. I'll be back tonight to update on the weekend. Have a great Monday everybody...or at least make the best of it considering it is Monday and all...