Monday, August 29, 2011

The strangest thing has happened: Twitter suspended my account, which sucks because I've got all these erudite remarks about tonight's episode of Bachelor Pad and it kills me that I can't share them with you (sorry, they only work in tweet format). Until then, you may have to get your venereal humor somewhere else.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Fellow Vancouverites, if you haven't stopped by the PNE, you're missing out on such gourmet items as chips-on-a-stick and every kind of sausage known to man. What are you waiting for? A formal Skee Ball invitation?

Friday, August 26, 2011

Dinner and a movie, Guidette-style: Zefferelli's Spaghetti Joint followed by the latest episode of Jersey Shore. That was my Thursday night and I enjoyed every fist-pumping minute of it. I also read that Town & Country piece about Bard as the new Brown (this link is merely a review, unfortunately) and got hopelessly nostalgic for my own alma mater. I guess the easiest fix would be ordering an ill-fitting T-shirt online and wearing it with quirky, liberal-artsy pride. P.S. Did your "academic committee" insist that you take a modern dance class to improve your college experience? No? Just mine?

Three years ago, I wouldn't have been caught dead in shorts (I was just that klassy). Lately, that's all I've been wearing outside of work while indulging in my latest addiction, Damages. I know it's been around for four seasons, but I've just fallen for Rose Byrne. Anybody else in Girl Crush City?

Friday, August 19, 2011

So what's the story behind my most extravagant item of clothing by far and why don't I wear it more often? Let's just say it's made in Italy, thus a real size. It will not let me sit down, much less eat without cutting off my circulation. So if you know of any chic cocktail parties with little-to-no-food and no seating (a gallery opening, perhaps?), please let me know because the dress and I would love to go public with our relationship.

Monday, August 15, 2011

It's been a while since my last grammar post, mostly because I've been indecisive about what to tackle next. Any suggestions? I like the than-as-a-conjunction-or-preposition debate, but I fear I may be the only one. Speaking of which, I just realized I'm not the only "grammar girl" on the Internet, so I need a new nickname. Grammar Grass (too obscure?) and Grammar Gramma (Grandma was already taken) score high in terms of alliteration and consonance, but humor is also important. Please help me choose something, friends, because getting stuck with the Grim Grammarian will be fun for no one.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

I've been having too much fun around here! On Thursday night, I checked out the new MADMEN Collection at Banana Republic, sipped cocktails, drooled over the leopard print trench, and then consoled myself with wildly affordable leopard pumps on sale. The night ended with a little lamb shank action at Malaysian restaurant Banana Leaf (coincidence?), after which the pumps and I curled up into bed for some spooning action. On Friday, I sipped more cocktails with an old college buddy and somehow managed to spill moonshine (I mean, champagne) all over my favorite frock. It turns out moonshine doesn't stain! You're welcome, ladies.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm on Twitter now. If you'd like to join me for some clever banter (the cleverest tweet wins a spool of grosgrain ribbon from my private collection), click here. I never thought I'd like Twitter, even though back in 2001, I chatted up my crushes on AIM (look it up, kids). I'm too embarrassed to tell you my Phoenician mythological screen name, but let's just say many a conversation was saved (I was a bard!) and filed away for posterity (or in my case, my mother's nosy nature).

Monday, August 8, 2011

The people in my building love to advertise their peeves in little notes they tape up in the elevator. Apparently, delinquent residents park their Hummers in other people's spaces and fill lockers that don't belong to them (with illicit products, I hope). After sixteen months of agonizing over their silly spelling and glaringly bad grammar, I finally cracked. Today's culprit was the classic its versus it's mistake, which I made sure to point out in my finest cursive. Let me tell you, it felt good. Like a brand new episode of House Hunters International good. By not laminating the note, this neighbor was asking for it. Ergo, I did some editing today - pro bono. The neighborly thing to do.

P.S. Our rec room has been closed for over a year due to "miss use." At least it wasn't Miss Demeanor!

Friday, August 5, 2011

If that's not enough sclera for you guys, I could treat you to the eyerollfest that is my mother's VHS collection of my Christmas pageants and whatnot. Over the years, I've learned to embrace this eyeball anxiety and even use it to lure hesitant suitors (all reluctance and no suit). Some girls flash a little decolletage, I try to show off as much white-of-the-eye as humanly possible. It's worked for me thus far, so why mess with it?

Thursday, August 4, 2011

On my way to the beach today, I practiced the art of posing in motion, which ended up being more like an extreme sport. Fortunately, I learned a few things. Rule #1: Keep your ADHD to a minimum, unless you're trying to get blurred images. Rule #2: Exhibit lean and lovely angles at all times - you never know who will have the nerve to look through your unedited photos after you've placed your camera on a restaurant table (Does anyone else think this is rude? When friends and coworkers do it without asking?). Rule #3: Don't take photography advice from an oft-offended, etiquette-obsessed blogger. She's too busy making sure people don't double dip or shake her hand after picking their noses. It's hard work, but someone's gotta do it.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

When I saw these photos, I felt a twinge of anger. Anger that I'd put in the effort to catch decent daylight and risked being seen by strangers whilst posing (the horror!) when I look like I've been Photoshopped into this backdrop. I was really there, I promise! Strolling through tree-lined and named-after-trees streets in Kits, checking out one menu after another, and waiting to pounce on recently vacated tables on patios... We eventually pounced on neighborhood favorite Abigail's Party, where I nibbled on deep-fried pickles with paprika aioli ($4) and Gallo mussels & Littleneck clams steamed in coconut & chili broth, vine tomatoes and cilantro ($15). To check out the rest of their dinner menu, click here. And then book your ticket to Vancouver, of course!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

As I mentioned a few posts ago, London was cold and rainy (I would have been disappointed had it not been). It was also excessively misty, which unfortunately resulted in one blurred photograph after another. Buildings didn't suffer as much as people, subject-wise, so I hope you'll still enjoy my meek efforts in photo-journalism.