eleven.

“football player rapes freshman cheerleader”
my ex calls to tell me
and then when the dog starts to bark
my ex yells at me

really he’s just scared

my daughter deftly dodges questions
with a joke, a selfie smile and magic waves of hair
that no one believes are real
boys say such shit
i’d be sobbing under furniture

my son just spent the whole day on the iPad
they say wi-fi’s bad for kids
i’m too sick to take him anywhere
and my toe has little matches
burning in the metatarsal joint
the day presses
gray on all my senses
but not enough to dull the pain

i love them all so much they’ve no idea
instead i fall in love with people i don’t know
they won’t hurt me by getting angry
or getting hurt

– FLB

***

i don’t want to teach yoga any more
there’s nothing left
for me to say
no more right foot forward left heel down
arms stretched to opposite poles of the compass
tired of asking for knees to bend further
get lower to the earth
straighten the spine
breathe between vertebrae

i rarely see the center of the chest glow
isn’t it supposed to?
the heart
anahata chakra
a ball of light they say
but bullshit on that
there’s just sweat
and grunting
loud rock n roll
sinewy muscles exposed

i want wheels of light
i want to see my exhale
the carbon dioxide spinning out
purifying
i want proof
until then, no more going through the motions
no more posing