He's so great, really, when you think about it. He allowed a kid who was into all kinds of mysticism, who was involved in a pretty rough crowd, who was haughty and prideful and selfish—He immediately took me in and began His divine heart surgery to change my life. The next few months were pivotal to my growth in the Lord. He took my hand and literally directed the way. I was too zoned-out from the accident. I was dazed, I was half crazy with grief. I was in shock.

– Excerpt from Russ' Story.

Russ Brewer’s Story as of 12/1/00 given before a Korean High School Group

Good evening. I am excited to tell you about the changes that the Lord has brought into my life. It is my prayer that you will hear of my mistakes and be able to avoid them yourselves. It is my prayer that if you don’t know Jesus Christ now as your Lord and savior, that by the end of my message, you will put your faith and trust in the Lord of our universe.

Although this story may look like it’s about me, it’s really about how God directed my life and protected me. He did this because of His love for me and He will do the same for you. As you will hear from my story--more than likely, at some point in your life, pains will come your way. But pain and trials are gifts from God where we can turn to Him; purify our faith, and glorify Him as Lord. When the trials come, it is not right to ask why, for that is in the mind of God. Rather you should ask how are you are supposed to respond as a godly child of the Lord.

I will probably take every last minute Pastor Chi has given to me, so hang on and here we go.

I grew up in Middletown New Jersey. Growing up, my family attended a non-Christian church called Christian Science, not to be confused with Scientology by L. Ron Hubbard. Christian Science was started in the late 1800’s by a woman named Mary Baker Eddy.[1] She wrote many books detailing her brand of spirituality, the most notable is her book called “Science and Heath” which her followers believe to be as equally true as the Bible. In Science and Heath, Mary Baker Eddy explains that God made man in His image and likeness, therefore we are all gods. Thus since God cannot break his arm, neither can we. Since God cannot get cancer, neither can we. The reason why people appear to have broken bones and other illnesses is because of sin. Sin is not a violation of God’s holy law; rather it is incorrect thinking about who we “truly” are. Sin is error. Sin is being wrong in our conclusions about ourselves. According to Christian Science, if we think we have cancer we are sinning. The solution to sin is found in the great healer Jesus Christ. Jesus was not God per say, nor did he die for our sins on the cross. Rather He was the way-shower who told us how to really view who we are. Jesus tried to show us that we were gods and that if we recognized that, we could heal ourselves just as He healed others.

Christian Scientists deny Christ’s death on the cross as being anything other than tragedy. They don’t believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God nor do they believe in heaven or hell. All of us, according to their beliefs, will “translate” into another existence. Death is only a doorway to the next reality. People don’t go to hell because there is no hell because there is no real sin against God. Again, sin is just an erroneous understanding of who we are.

This was my exposure and spiritual diet for most of my childhood. Christian scientists are warm, kindhearted people. The books they read from are very complex and the language is old and difficult. Yet, my Sunday school classes consisted of three or four children in the same grade sitting around a small round table with one adult teacher who taught us theology. We learned their wrong beliefs about sin, healing, Jesus, God and power. I advanced through these classes from age 8 or 9 up till about 15 years old.

My parents actually never ever went to that church the entire time I was there. They were raised by Christian Scientist parents (that is, my grandparents) and both had independently forsaken the religion for themselves. Thus when it came to teaching their children religion, although they didn’t actually agree with Christian Science, it was natural that they would send their kids, my sister and I, to the only religion they knew.

Thus we were “nominal Christian Scientists.” On most Sunday’s my parents would drop my sister and I off at church and then go out for breakfast on their own. After 90 minutes they’d come back, pick us up and we’d go on our way. My parents never taught me Christian Science doctrine because they weren’t real impressed with it themselves. Thus when I broke a bone my parents took me to a doctor. When I needed a tooth filled, they took me to a dentist. Yet, to a degree, we were quasi-practicing Christian Scientists. That is, when we had colds we didn’t take cold medicine, when we had aches, we didn’t take Tylenol or Advil. Generally the watchword around my house was for general minor stuff, was “mind over matter”.

Like other good Christian Scientists, my parents were the kindest people on the street. They had well developed ethics and codes of conduct and behavior. I was raised to highly value the worth and dignity of all people. Jesus’ golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” was often quoted and applied in my home. During my childhood, I watched my parents take into our home people beaten by their spouses; others near death from alcoholism. I saw my parents helping with all kinds of volunteerism. Thus they were good people, perhaps better than the average home. These values were deeply instilled in me and although I didn’t know Jesus Christ as my Lord I did admire and follow His example of love and selflessness.

However, you can imagine that a religion, which denied Jesus, the Bible, Heaven, Hell and Sin, doesn’t really re-enforce deep convictions within its followers. Christian Science is New Age mysticism glossed over with Christian ideals. God is a transcendent, impersonal force to be used for one’s own advantage. The New Age mysticism is the same. It seeks to use mystical forces to achieve benefit for the person. Both are selfish, self-centered, and power-hungry. They do not seek to exalt, honor, worship and serve the Holy Creator. Rather both seek to selfishly give honor to evil that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. New Age often incorporates the beliefs of mediation, astrology, Zen Buddhism, and a bunch of other stuff into a giant salad bar from which its adherents pick and choose what sounds best to them.

Although my family wasn’t off the deep end, we were still in the dangerous waters of New Age. In my family, we did often speak of God and Jesus, but we also spoke of a whole realm of spiritual things. My parents weren’t teaching us doctrine of any particular religion, rather our family was always curious and open to what might be out there. The trend towards spiritual mysticism continued and deepened as I went through high school and through various means I had developed a sizable personal New Age reference library complete with books on out of body experiences, channeling, black magic, Stonehenge, meditation, etc.

I now know that I was playing with evil and I have suffered the spiritual consequences of my sins. One might ask if it’s really a sin to read books on the occult. Well, the book of Hebrews says that whatever is not of faith is sin, and Deuteronomy prohibits going to psychics and mediums and those who practice divination. I initially began reading the books out of curiosity, but eventually my curiosity got the best of me and I was reading because I believed them. Thus, I was sinning against the holy Lord who alone is wise. God’s plans are high—lofty—beyond the mind of man—and we are to only read and accept that which He has already revealed in God’s word. Any attempt to reach up to the infinite and pull it down to the finite is a sin against God. I Cor 10:13 says "So Saul died for his trespass which he committed against the Lord, because of the word of the Lord which he did not keep; and also because he asked counsel of a medium, making inquiry of it."

Well, once I entered High School, I started spending time with a pretty interesting group of guys. When I first starting hanging out with my friends they were really great people. Most were quite smart but bored with our classes. Some of us were boy-scouts and some nature lovers and our main hang-out was at a rope swing in the woods.

There was a large, heavily wooded park beside of the neighborhoods. (Now this is the east coast New Jersey. Have you seen the movie The Last of the Mohicans? Well, remember all the dense, green forests they ran through and you are pretty much picturing what we were hanging out it). In the middle of this park, about a 10 minute hike in, stood a large tree at the edge of a small rise of ground. A small stream ran through the middle of the park, over time cutting a small gully about 20 feet deep and 100 hundred yards wide. A tree stood at the edge of the top of the gully and it had a great, thick hemp rope. We spent so much time there we pretty we became experts. We would leap out, grab the rope and swing in every way imaginable. Once we even tied a couch onto the rope and we all jumped on it while it swung around. Lots and lots of fun, and a little dangerous—I spent a night in the hospital because of it, but that’s another story.

Every day we’d go there and hang out until the sun went down. We did this for years, thus over time we started bringing stuff back there with us. At first we brought back boom-boxes and chairs. Then we started grabbing furnishings that people were throwing out like couches and carpets. And I suppose that once or twice we liberated people’s porches of things they weren’t intending on throwing out. After a while, we had this area completely carpeted and decked out with so much furniture that it looked like someone’s living room in the middle of the woods. Of course this started out as a great idea, but eventually the rain made us regret our exterior decorations.

In the early days we mostly drank alcohol. Sometime around our sophomore or junior year my buddies began to smoke pot. I was vehemently against it and often preached how pot was a gateway drug that leads to other problems. Some listened, most didn’t and I gained the nickname “Captain Morals.”

Well I don’t want it to sound like we were druggie-criminals. Although we played rough, we also were still pretty good people. Our numbers grew. We had a lot of cheerleaders and popular kids hanging out with us, we had smart kids, we had athletes, heavy metal band members, sweet catholic school girls etc. Most of us drank, a lot of my friends did drugs. For me, I had been drunk so many times and I was tired of making a fool of myself. Some people like being fools, I was never partial to it myself. I finally gave it up after partying with one of my best friends and a beautiful cheerleader. I’m fairly certain that the last time I was drunk was about 17 years old—a pretty early age to have the complete development and cessation of a drinking habit.

By the time I had graduated, my mysticism was in full swing. I mediated (you know, the kind with your legs crossed and eyes closed), I had attended meditation seminars, I owned all kinds of books about New Age, the Occult, Stonehenge, and Black Magic. I wore all kinds of crystals and I new what the therapeutic benefit was to each crystal. I had some pretty developed ideas about life, the universe, and everything. Now I have to tell you that New Age religion is not like Christianity. There are no real doctrines, no concrete facts and no basis of understanding. Thus, even the term New Age is a misnomer and I would have never used it back then, I only use that term now because it makes talking about it simpler.

No one in New Age pushes their views upon others. There is no orthodox opinion, everyone pretty much has ideas and even books are basically the sum of a person’s opinions about a particular topic. Thus within New Age there are crystals, runes, tarot cards, meditations, Buddhism, the Bible, prayer, Out of Body Experience, Séances, Magic, Environmentalism etc. A person can be totally immersed in it and yet not adhere to any one particular belief system. Thus was the case I me. I believed in Jesus, I believed in Buddhism, I believed in Meditation, I believed in crystals, I believed in Environmentalism, I believed in Out of Body Experiences and I believed in Political Activism. I had managed to roll all of these ideas together into a developed world-view that I called Russ-Archy.

During that time my parents owned (and still own) a small gourmet food store. I had agreed with them to manage the store. So the day after high school graduation, I took over running the family business. Running the store took up most of my time and I had a lot less time to spend with my friends.

So there I was managing the family business the day after I finished High School. I had to hire people, fire people, create and implement business plans, work with vendors, customers, salesmen and the whole deal. I can remember the startled look on countless people’s face when they’d ask for the manager of the store and I’d come out from the back to talk with them. Invariably they’d try to conceal their shock. I was good, cocky, and impressive. At first people didn’t respect me because of my age, but after I was consistently in charge and the ship ran well, they began to respect me because of my age—they couldn’t believe that a 18 year old kid could do what I was doing. But it is often when you are at the highest that you have the farthest to fall.

On August 16th, 1990 my best friend C.J. and I were planning on going to a coffee shop called the Ink Well. It was a great, cozy little place where no tables or chairs matched and the atmosphere was so casual that you’d often just start talking to people at tables around you. C.J. and I loved to talk about life. We talked about everything, as I’m sure you guys do too. Only a few months prior, we concluded that there was nothing to live for. We felt that there was no real reason for life, ethics, humanity etc. We had been taught in school that we evolved from animals and I didn’t think of God as personal, but rather a force to be used. Thus there was no reason to live. I wasn’t suicidal, just this was the natural conclusion to everything I thought and had been taught. This is the natural conclusion of any honest person who doesn’t have the Lord.

The Inkwell was located only a few blocks from the ocean and we had to take a road called Ocean Ave. Now, Ocean Ave pretty much describes what this road was like. It ran parallel to the shoreline and on the land-side was all business and homes and on the shore side it was intermittent beaches, restaurants and hotels. It was a major road with two lanes each way, lots of stop-lights and fast strips of road between them. It was on this road that my life changed.

That night C.J. and I were having a great time. It was a clear, warm August night. It was around 10 o’clock. We had the convertible top down and the stereo was playing. The speed limit varied from 45-50 miles an hour.

Then, right in the midst of conversation, suddenly C.J. screamed, “Russ!”

We were going through an intersection. My light was green and I hadn’t slowed at all. When C.J. screamed my eyes darted to left. Coming through the intersection, going against his own red light, was a person jamming through the intersection on a BMX bike right into my path. He was looking down, pumping hard and came so fast that I never really had a chance to hit the brakes.

He was a 16 year old boy. I hit him going about 50 miles an hour. His body crashed up the hood, into the windshield and flew right over our heads onto the pavement behind the car. The windshield smashed into thousands of pieces and showed little glass cubes over C.J.

We skidded to a stop and I ran back to the kid on the road. C.J. immediately went for help. I stayed with the kid and kept telling him he’d be alright as if he could hear me—but he never could. He was too badly damaged, he wasn’t even conscious. As I held him and as his blood soaked into my jeans I watched his dazed eyes roll back into his head.

The police came a few minutes later and blocked off the intersection. An ambulance arrived soon afterwards and took him away. Someone spray-painted a white body outline where the boy lay. The stuff he had with him was everywhere. His bike had skidded in a crumpled mass a hundred yards away. He was listening to a walk-man at the time and now pieces of it were scattered all around. The cops carefully painted little white circles around every fragment. More cops arrived and started measuring skid marks and trajectories attempting to determine what happened. A crowd started gathering and within 15 minutes there were probably more than 50 people peering over the yellow police tape that circled the intersection.

The cops put me in the back on one police cruiser and C.J. in the back of another. I sat there looking at the accident scene and the people. Some people were crying, some were talking amongst themselves. Most were curious. I made a call to my parents and they were on their way—it’d be 30 minutes before they would arrive. So I sat in the back of the car and looked at it all.

I was devastated. I felt such grief, such terror, such horror. I hope that I’ve painted a picture of what kind of person I was. I was a good guy, weird but good. I was sickened by the blood, I was overwhelmed with the realization that I had caused that kind of damage to another person. It was a pure accident sure, and in most ways I was entirely innocent. But I didn’t know that then, I was in shock and utterly, utterly, utterly devastated.

I spent much of the night at the police station telling them what happened. They could see that I wasn’t drunk or high and my story matched right up with C.J.’s. So they let both of us go. That night when I finally went to sleep, every dream that I had was saturated with the theme that I had done something horribly wrong and nothing that I could do now would undo what was already done.

Death has such finality. There is no undoing death. It’s permanent. It’s forever. I had caused the death of a 16 year old boy. No
matter how much I regretted it, I couldn’t go back and change what happened. I couldn’t go back and take a different street. I couldn’t go back and leave my home at a different time. I couldn’t change my destination. The unthinkable had been done and nothing would or could alter it.

The next morning was the beginning of the rest of my life. I woke up with a heavy pallid dread permeating everything about me.

I want you to get this next point: somehow and in some intangible definite way, I knew that God was huge, gigantic and personal. By killing someone, I had stepped into the role that is only for God. I had taken a life and I suddenly felt extreme dread that I was going to have to give an account to a holy and angry Judge. It was as if out of the woodwork came God calling to me from every direction saying the blood of this child cries up from the ground declaring my guilt—not so much guilt for the accident, but guilt for all the New Age mysticism, all the times I’d cursed the name of God, all the times I did whatever wickedness my evil heart desired.

I suddenly saw that all my New Age was an offense to a holy God. I was more certain of that than anything else in my life. It was as if I had been a child out playing and being bad and suddenly getting caught by my dad. As if I had been warned over and over not to play with matches and suddenly I burned down the house. As if all the heavens echoed solemnly “I told you so”. I knew that I had sinned, I knew that all of my mystical spirituality was sinful and evil and selfish and offensive. I knew that what was needed most then was to humbly, and sheepishly, and meekly go to my heavenly father and beg forgiveness.

And please don’t misunderstand me, my guilt was not so much for the accident, but for all the sins I had committed that led up to it. My selfish meditations, my selfish grasping at the mystical world for power. My vain and ego-centric views about how mystically powerful I was. My black-magic text books, my books on the occult. My fascination with acid rock—everything about my life violated God’s holy law and I was deeply guilty of sin.

But then the Lord stepped in and gave me new life in Christ.

By God’s sovereign hand, my parents set a lunch appointment for me and a pastor from a nearby church. This of itself was a miracle. My dad had been attending a conservative Baptist church for a couple of months on his own. Remember, at this point it was years since any of us had attended a Christian Science church and my dad had begun to seek the Lord on his own. He didn’t really talk much about it, but somewhere in that whole process, my father quietly gave his life to the Lord.

So when this accident occurred, my dad said, “Russ, why don’t you meet with the pastor of this church I’ve been attending. He’s agreed to meet with you and this is the kind of thing pastors are for.” I knew I needed council about God, so I agreed to go.

The pastor picked me up around noon in his purplish blue hatchback station wagon and we went to a diner. New Jersey diners are a world to themselves. They are open 24 hours, often have great, cheep food and usually a very faithful customer base. We went to one of my favorite diners called The Shamrock Diner.

When we got there I didn’t want to break a poor pastor’s bank, so I ordered a chocolate milkshake and he ordered a hamburger and fries. We said grace. It’s kind of funny to think that the first time that I can recall saying grace was over a chocolate milkshake.

My pastor asked me questions about the accident, about the prognosis, and about what I was going to do. He then asked me a question that I’ll never forget. He said, “Russ if you were to die tonight, and God were to say ‘Why should I let you into heaven?’ What would you say?”

You can see from all that I’ve told you, that I was so very far from God. It didn’t matter that I picked up the Bible every now and then. It didn’t matter that I even prayed every now and then. No matter what outside form of religion I had, it was thoroughly mixed with New Age. I didn’t believe in the true God so whatever answer I gave was not based on faith. Therefore it was wrong.

Well, Jonathan, the pastor, didn’t really know what to do with me. My views were so completely contrary to what God’s word says that there really wasn’t much that he was able to do but tell me that I needed to read the Bible and begin sorting out my ideas. After a while we had to go and he dropped me off back at my home. I asked him what he’d recommend me reading in the Bible and he gave me a couple of passages.

Well, that day was surreal. I had to go back to the police station one more time to give them more information. That's where I found out the boy had died. It was awful.

Later that night, I went out for a cigarette. I’d often take walks through the neighborhood and smoke. So that night I went out to my front yard and decided not to walk but just think about all that happened. I knew I was in trouble—I knew I needed the Lord—and I knew it was time to ask for his forgiveness.

I looked up, thought for a moment, and said “God I’ve really screwed up my life, I give it over to you.”

That’s all I said. Nothing fancy, nothing elaborate. But it contained the right ingredients.

You see, my heart absolutely recognized that all of my New Age mumbo jumbo was really a mockery of God. I had offended the Holy God of the universe. I was truly sorry for it—not just for the accident, but because all of my mysticism was wrong.

My prayer was also filled with faith. I wasn’t trying to get out of jail free, I was recognizing that God was in charge of the universe. I recognized that I had ruined my life. I recognized that God is trustworthy with my whole life and could lead it better than I. I recognized that I had wasted my life and believed that the whole thing needed change and I was giving it to God so that He could make it useful to His plan. My friends, this was the prayer of faith. This was the prayer of salvation. I remember that moment so clearly when instantly my heart was changed.

Well…that’s the first part of what we’re going to talk about tonight. So far, that’s just the introduction, now for the sermon.

I want to tell you how my life changed. You see, God is the One who is in charge of this giant space ball we call earth. God runs the planet. God runs the universe. If you were to get into a spaceship and fly a million miles into the heavens, you would never have left the presence of the Lord. Think about that…If we both prayed at the same time thousands of miles apart, God would hear both of our prayers simultaneously. So this huge, giant, powerful God deserves our whole lives. So I gave him mine. Have you given him yours?

All this is just over 10 years ago (1990). I was 18 years old. My condition of life was as follows: I was running the family business, I was dating a girl from high school, I had a whole lot of garbage beliefs, I had pretty strained relationships with my parents, and I was literally in a state of shock because of the accident. This was a lot of deep garbage to work through, but the Lord carried me the entire way. God is faithful when His children’s lives are blown apart, He is there to help along the way. He does more than help, He completely carries those who love Him. And that is what the Lord did for me.

He’s so great, really, when you think about it. He allowed a kid who was into all kinds of mysticism, who was involved in a pretty rough crowd, who was haughty and prideful and selfish—he immediately took me in and began His divine heart surgery to change my life. The next few months were pivotal to my growth in the Lord. He took my hand and literally directed the way. I was too zoned-out from the accident. I was dazed, I was half crazy with grief. I was in shock.

Have you ever heard about how horses get to know their areas so well that when a rider falls asleep the horse just carries them right home without having to be directed? Well, that’s kind of what it was like between the Lord and me. I was mentally shot, in some ways asleep, and God put me on His back and carried me to His home.

But the ride home was a bit of a journey. After I was saved, most of my theological ideas didn’t change right away. All I was really sure of was that I had violated God and now gave my life to Him. Besides that, in the very early days I still believed most of my mystical ideas. I didn’t believe the Bible was the Word of God. I didn’t believe that Jesus was God. I didn’t believe that Heaven or Hell existed. I didn’t believe a whole lot at that point, but what I did believe was that God was awesome and I wanted to learn as much about this true God who held the universe in His hands.

Yet, when I gave my life to the Lord, some things did change right away. For one thing, my view of God completely changed from then on. I no longer mocked God (which I formerly did haughtily all the time). Instead, I was reverent and feared Him. This is important, because in my haughtiness I had often made fun of God and also of Christians. I never did this again.

One more thing changed in how I felt about God. Back in my New Age days, I felt very close to the spiritual world, very in touch with who I thought was "God". After I gave my life to the Lord, I began to feel less and less connected to "God". At the time this concerned and bothered me. I had been under the impression that converting to Christ would draw me closer to the Lord, not push me away. But what I didn't realize then, and what I do realize now, is that the "God" who I felt close to wasn't God at all. I had worshipped a false God and any closeness I felt back then was a fabricated being of the demonic world. In reality I was actually close to the demons whom I served.

At conversion, God graciously took me out of the New Age spiritual arena so that I was no longer in close proximity to those demonic forces. Thus I no longer felt close to "God". What I didn't know was that God had rescued me and I was only suffering from the kind of withdrawal pain a drug addict feels when he gives up heroin. Once I began to serve the true God of the Bible, naturally I'd feel distant from my New Age "God". Now, after years of faithful commitment to the Lord, I feel closer and more connected with God than I ever did to that false god in the old days.

Another thing that changed was that I never ever practiced or did a single mystical act again. God is too holy for that. I had His spirit in me and I wasn’t about to disgrace the Lord by messing with the occult. God’s word says in Deuteronomy 18:10 “Let no one be found among you who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead.” God’s Word was clear that these sorts of practices were evil so I immediately forsook them. Early in my new life in Christ, I came home one day, looked at my books on New Age, gathered them together and threw away all but one. The last book was on black magic. I burned it. That was the end of that.

However, there was still all kinds of wrong beliefs floating around my head. Only the transformation by the Lord, persistent Bible Study, Hours of Prayer, Fellowship, Godly Council, Submission, and time would change those ideas from error to truth.

A couple weeks after I came to Christ, my pastor’s wife stopped into my store and invited me to a small group Bible study, thirsty for the truth I quickly agreed. Within a few days I was encircled by college aged Christians trying to answer my rapid-fire questions. Boy, I would give anything to be able to go back in time and watch myself back then. I’d like to just sit near by and listen to what I said at my first bible study meetings. You know my crazy ideas must have singed their hair. It must have been so exciting for them to have a real-live fruitcake finding out God’s truth for the first time. It must have been wonderful for them to watch me slowly change from sin to the ways of the Lord.

The first meeting I went to happened to also be the first week they were going through a Bible Study booklet on the Gospel of John.

I was familiar with the Gospel of John. I had read the Bible before I was saved and when I was a kid I spent two weeks at the Word of Life Bible camp in Schroon Lake New York. As a Christian Scientist, I had memorized all the books of the Bible. But it didn’t really make much sense and I wasn’t very impressed. To my unconverted mind, it seemed like the authors kept on repeating themselves over and over. I can remember distinctly wondering why people were so fanatical about it.

But now, as I was attending that Bible study, I had the spirit of God dwelling in me. Reading His truth through the eyes of faith was like a neon sign buzzing right before my eyes. It was so clear, so vibrant, so powerful.

I can still remember that first study when my pastor asked us if we knew a verse that told of the purpose of the gospel. “Of course we don’t” I thought to myself; thinking pastor was crazy for even asking. But my head whipped hard to the right when a guy starts quoting John 20:31 verbatim, “but these things are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.” My shock that anyone knew the answer was only matched by the joy in my heart as I heard that Jesus was the Son of God and offered Life to those who believed in Him.

I went home that day with a whole new life in me once again. My heart was bursting with excitement and joy. I remember driving home that night down New Monmouth Road rejoicing that the wonderful presence of the Lord and the power of His Word. For the first time, Jesus was really with me. He had led me to the Truth. I was hearing something that was absolutely certain. For all my life, I’d only heard man’s foolish opinions and deep down I knew it as such. But finally, for the first time, I was hearing the very words spoken by God to men. And the words resonated deeply within me. They resonated truth. They resonated authority. Their very force said, “THIS IS GOD’S WORD. OBEY IT”. And I went home that night see the Truth as if a bolt of lightening had lit up the dark sky of my life and for the first time I could see clearly that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, the Messiah whom we were to love, honor, worship and cherish.

Every week was like that—some new truth shattered the windows of my old foolish philosophy. I can remember talking with my pastor after small group one day. I said to him, “I’m really enjoying reading the red words of Jesus, (I had a Bible that put Christ’s words in Red) but I’m having trouble believing the rest of the Bible is really from God.” I wasn’t thinking of any specific passage, I was just telling him my opinion on the Bible. He looked right at me and said, “Russ, that is just disobedience. You have to submit to all of God’s word. The words of Paul are just as inspired as the words of Christ.” Again these words thundered in my ears and I knew absolutely what my pastor said was true. And from that moment forever, I read the whole Bible as God’s word.

One thing I’ve learned is that you have to go where the truth is. If you guys haven’t noticed already, everyone has opinions about life and the world. Some people think that aliens buzz through the sky, some people think that killing an animal is the same as killing a human, some people think that sex or money or drugs will satisfy, some people think that if you have enough friends you’ll be happy, some people think that everyone goes to heaven, some people think that everyone gets reincarnated, some people think there’s no God, and some people think that everyone is god. Since I’ve dabbled in most of the junk that’s out there, I can confidently say that there is no truth out there except for God’s truth. Everything else is at best a thin covering over fakery. Everything fails in the face of true tragedy except for Christ. There is no other truth except for what’s in God’s Word.

No other book changes lives like God’s word. Before my accident, I read tons of junk books but none of them had any power. They all claimed to have spiritual power. Yet the façade of power vanishes when life’s trials hit. When it came to working when you needed them most, they couldn’t do a thing. They fell apart. After my accident I couldn’t mediate, I couldn’t just wear a crystal and feel better! Things like crystals and meditation, all that stuff “works” only when life is going well. When life falls apart like mine did, there is nothing but the rock of Jesus Christ that will support deep grief. Without the truth of God, I wouldn’t have made it through that trial.

During the winter after I was saved, my pastor had encouraged all of us to memorize the entire book of Philippians from the New Testament. I had never even read the book of Philippians. I didn’t know what it contained. But that opportunity seemed like a chance to really learn a portion of God’s word, so I agreed.

For those of you who memorize the Bible, you know how you have to repeat phrases over and over to get them down. You also know how repetition can really deepen and enhance your understanding of the passage. For me, it was all that—times 10. I was literally reading the verse for the first time in my life and then memorizing them. I don’t even think I read through the whole book of Philippians before I began to memorize it. But I was blown away by God’s truth. For that project, I memorized all the time, especially while driving. I’d get to a stop light, pull out the Bible quickly grab a phrase and repeat it over and over and over until I got to the next stop light. Then I’d do the same thing again. I did this for all 120 some-odd verses of the book of Philippians.

God’s word was so thrilling. Day after day the divine scriptures gave me the answers to all my questions. Remember how I used to think that there was no point to life? Well, Psalm 34:3 says “Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.” So then I knew I had a purpose and it was to glorify the Lord.

I used to wonder why I existed, but Eph 1:4 says it was God who created me according to His will. Then I knew that I existed because God had created me.

I used to wonder why there was so much pain and evil and I learned that Adam and Eve rebelled against God and that their sins were passed on from generation to generation up till this present day.

Around that time, God’s word showed me how Jesus spent lots of his time with his disciples and taught them Truth. Well, my pastor knew God’s word back-to-back so I asked him if he would mentor me. I was honored when he agreed to meet with me. Right off the bat he got involved in every area of my life and shone the light of the scriptures upon it. There was so much junk in there that we had plenty to talk about. It was great. We’d meet every week or two and I was able to just throw issues and questions at him and listen to him bring God’s Word to bear on the topic. The power of God’s Word was changing me inside out.

By February, remember my accident occurred in August, I saw in the scriptures how God’s people are baptized in the name of Christ. That was all I needed to see. When I was an infant, I was baptized but no one needed to tell me that it was a sham—I knew it was. I knew I needed to be baptized as a believer. The next time my church offered a baptism class, I was there. Then in March, 7 months after I came to Christ, I was fully immersed in water before a congregation of God’s people. The day of my baptism was one of the most joyful days of my life.

By the next summer, I had been a Christian almost a year. My church was sponsoring a short-term missions trip to Jamaica teaching kids Vacation Bible School. I asked if I could go and the church agreed. The Lord started convicting me of smoking and I knew that I couldn’t go to Jamaica and smoke at the same time. Up till this point, after every Bible study, just as soon as we finished praying I’d dart out for a quick smoke. I was so worldly I didn’t even think that the people in the group noticed what I was doing. Of course, while I was smoking, they were praying for me to quit. One day the Lord just impressed upon me a passage in First Corinthians that says we are God’s temple. I began to see that if my body was created by God, I had no right damaging it by smoking. So one day I went around to all of my Christian friends and said, “I’m quitting smoking today, pray for me.” Well they did pray and I did quit smoking. I had tried to quit twice before. That is, before I knew the Lord. But once I was saved quitting smoking was surprisingly easy.

Back to Jamaica. Our team of 10 people or so met regularly to prepare. In August, a year after coming to Christ, we flew down to Jamaica. We taught bunches of little kids about Christ and God’s word. Telling other people God’s truth was invigorating. And do you know what? For the first time, I felt God’s power working through me. It was a power and strength I’d never felt prior. God’s power on that mission’s trip was a hundred times greater and stronger and truer than anything I ever felt with my other New Age stuff. And it was on that trip God confirmed that I should only serve the Lord with my life in full time ministry.

When I got back from that trip I heard Moody Bible Institute was a free school that trained Christian leaders. The "free" part was pretty cool so I applied. A few months later they sent me an acceptance letter and the following fall I flew out to Chicago. When I went to Moody I was only a Christian for a couple of years. At the time I thought I knew so much. But at Moody I began to learn structured, ordered theology, Bible study techniques, Church history and a whole bunch of other stuff.

After I graduated Moody, I took a few years off, got married, had a daughter, and applied to Master’s Seminary. I came here because of Master Seminary’s deep love for God and His Word. These professors are godly, wonderful men committed to lifting up the name of the Lord in the classroom and they are committed to showing us how to honor the Lord with our future ministries.

I want you to know, however, that not all of life has been a thrilling James Bond action sequence. I’ve known the Lord since 1990 but along the way I’ve felt a lot of pain. Christ doesn’t say “Come to me and I will make you happy.” No, He says “Come to me and I will give you rest.” Although there has been pain in my life since then, I have been able to rest in the strength and love and will of our Lord. And that has made all the difference.

So this is my encouragement to you. Many people will try to tell you that you are just kids, you’re just Freshmen, Sophomores, Juniors, and Seniors in High School. Teachers might treat you as little kids, and others might not give you respect. But realize this, that when David fought against Goliath he was probably in his teens; when Daniel, Shadrach, and Abendego were thrown to the fires, they were most likely in their early teens. Guys, these are the heroes of our faith and they were younger than some of you are.

So when people treat you like kids, be humble and understand that for a time you are going to have to accept the negatives of being young. But don’t ever believe that you aren’t full-grown vessels for the Holy Spirit. When I was in High School, I was dealing with grown –up issues. I might have been foolish, but the issues were still there.

I was out every weekend until 1, 2, and 3 in the morning at parties. I was helping friends find out about abortions if they needed them, my friend’s parents were getting divorced, some friends lived on their own, some were heavy into drugs, some were going to get married in a couple of years, some were going to have kids that are now almost as old as some of you, a lot were fighting with their folks, some had mothers who literally had mental breakdowns, most of us were suspended from school at one point or another etc etc etc. My point is this: these problems that me and my friends were going through were real life problems that required real life faith in a real life God who ALONE had the real solution that would really fix life.

No one ever told me the gospel when I was in High School. I heard it as a kids when I went to that camp, but I forgot it by the time I hit jr high. No one ever told me I was racking up sins against a holy God that would affect me for years to come. No one told me these things. Well, I am telling you. Guys, you might be young, but you’re not little children. Thus handle your lives like adults. You have an opportunity to live your lives in complete obedience to Jesus Christ. Don’t settle for less.

Don’t allow yourself to be deceived by TV, your friends, teachers or whomever. Don’t do things that will rack up lasting damage. This means, read your Bible, live faithfully and worthily of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Paul says of Timothy, “I have no one like him … for all seek after their own things not those of Jesus Christ.” Well, you guys—decide now to live your lives fully for the cause of Christ. Pick up your cross and carry it for the name of Jesus. Be a light to the losers like I was. Tell others about Christ, we’ll listen if God puts it on our hearts to hear.

Don’t get caught up in sex, drugs. Don't believe the skewed thinking of the worldly media that paints a picture of a life that does not exist. You who know the Lord, you have the Holy Spirit in you—live wholly for the gospel. Make the changes you need to make—make them tonight. Decide tonight, decide right now, decide to live for Christ.

Perhaps some of you are like I was. You’re completely far from Jesus Christ. Come up to me, right to me, talk to me or talk to Pastor Chi and we’ll help you to put your faith in Christ.

Listen, those whom God has chosen to be saved have faith, those who have faith are saved. Those who are saved lived like it. If you’re not living for the Lord then you need to throw off the things that are hindering you and set your heart and mind on Jesus Christ. Press on towards the goal of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Thank you.

Russ Brewer

[1]In her day, doctors were poorly trained and modern medicine was still in its infancy. Medicine was often ineffectual or flatly toxic to the patients. Many people became ill or died because of improper treatment. People were afraid of illness and distrusted the abilities of doctors to wisely treat their maladies. One day Mary Baker Eddy was walking down an icy street of Boston Massachusetts when she slipped and fell. The seriousness of the fall like that in those days threatened death. Mary Baker Eddy was hospitalized for many weeks and her health continued to fail. When the prognosis was bleakest and the doctors pronounced that there was nothing else that they could do, Mary Baker Eddy turned to the Bible as if it were a magic spell book. In the New Testament, Mary Baker Eddy found a God who actively heals people from their infirmities and she concluded that this healing ability was available to her as well. While in her hospital bed, she began to formulate a religion that was capable of miraculous healing. Somehow, against the prognosis of medicine, she was healed and fully recovered. She documented her new form of religion and began what is now known as Christian Science.

Overcoming Sin – Part 6

The Problem

The importance of rooting out pride from our lives cannot be overstated. Pride is one of the biggest reasons people struggle with sins in their Christian walk.

1. Read Proverbs 16:5, who does this verse say is an abomination to the Lord?

2. According to Proverbs 16:18, what experience in a person’s life follows pride?

3. According to 1 John 2:16, where does pride come from?

The Result

A prideful person is anyone who is focused upon themselves.

The reason that pride is so devastating is found in James 4:6. Read James 4:6...

4. What is God’s stance towards those who are proud?

5. According to James 4:6, what does God do for the humble?

6. According to Isaiah 23:9, what will God do with the prideful?

7. If we are hoping to overcome sin, but are prideful, what kind of help can we expect to receive from God?

8. According to Luke 1:51, what does God do with those who were proud in their hearts?

9. If we do not receive God’s help when we are prideful, what likelihood will we be able to overcome the sin in our lives?

Therefore, when we have pride in our hearts, we no longer have the gracious strength of God working in us and suddenly our ability to overcome sin returns to simply being energy from the world, Satan, or our flesh (Eph 2:2).

How can we know if we have pride in our lives?

All people have pride in their lives. The question not “if” but “where”? By removing pride from our lives, we will enable ourselves to draw upon the Lord’s strength. Read the following lists of pride and mark any areas of your life*:

True repentance must come from God. Simply having sadness about how our behavior damages us is not true repentance.

4. In Isaiah 1:16-17, what are the two sides of true repentance?

C _______________ to do E ______________.

L _______________ to do G ______________.

How do we repent?

We don’t become perfect overnight or by will-power, but we do confess and repent of the sins that God brings to our attention.

5. According to 2 Timothy 2:25, where does true repentance come from?

6. According to 2 Timothy 2:26, what happens to those who truly repent?

7. Read 2 Corinthians 7:9-11 for an example of repentance that has been given by God. In verse 11, godly sorrow responds with:

D ________________ b. C ________________ (that is, removing the sin)

c. I _________________ d. F _____________

e. V ________________ D _____________

g. Z ____________

What does repentance do?

8. What does James 4:8-10 say God will do when we repent?

9. What does Psalm 34:18 say about those with godly sorrow?

a. God is N __________ to the B ___________________.

b. God S ______________ those C ____________ in Spirit.

10. According to Titus 2:11-14 what will we be able to do when the grace of God’s salvation is applied to us?

D __________ U ___________________ (v 12).

D __________ W___________ D___________ (v 12).

We will be redeemed from L __________ Deeds (v 14)

We will be P _______________ (v 14)

We will be Z __________ for G ____________ Works.

11. If our spirit and heart are revived, how will this affect our response towards sin?

12. If our hearts our heavy, if God seems distant, perhaps we need to repent of some sins and give them up.

What does repentance look like?

13. An example of confession and repentance is found in Acts 19:17-20, what did the people do when they repented?

Conclusion: Repentance is to turn from or stop our sins. As we stop our sins, our walk with Christ will deepen. As we deepen our walk with Christ, He will strengthen us to be free from more sins. As we continue to repent of sins, our walk with Christ will grow deeper and stronger.

Many Christians struggle with besetting sins. The sins cover the range of the whole human condition. Being that I minister in Skid Row, I have had numerous conversations with people to shepherd them out of their sinful habits and patterns.

Most people I meet have been told that they just need to "REPENT!". Others have been told that they need to just accept by faith the deliverance that God has given to them. Many are waiting for God to suddenly give them superman strength to overcome their addictions. Some have tried 12 Step programs and try to use accountability to prop each other up in the face of temptation. All of them are discouraged and have given up. Within this atmosphere of hurt and defeat, we seek to minister Christ's love and transforming power to these hurting souls who are so badly needing the Lord's transforming cleansing.

There is hope in the Lord! We can have victory over sin! True, lasting change is possible and can happen to even the worst sinner! Our Bible study on defeating sin has several regular attenders. These are comprised of a kind and gentle man who did hard time in jail for murder and was such a problem to the prison system that he was flown between prisons in an airplane alone and bolted with chains to the floor. Another man is wise man of God who spent decades selling hard-drugs on the streets. Another man spent 8 or more years living in a card-board box as an alcoholic and is just beginning to walk with his Lord. More attend, but these men are a testimony to being truly set free by Jesus.

This study hasn't transformed these men (in fact we've only just begun), so they have already been transformed by God. They have already been faithful to Him and He has blessed them and changed them. They were not changed by programs, but by the abiding, transforming presence of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Most of these attendees are actually co-laborers in our effort and essentially are the live-in servants downtown for the One At A Time Baptist Church. They have already been set free by the Lord and now they are teaching others also. So we have begun this study to help them in their own lives, to broaden and deepen their ministry, and to give help, strength, understanding, and support to the others who also attend.

Overcoming addictions requires fewer steps that 12, but many, many more principles. The underlying philosophy behind this ministry is that in Christ we have available to all of us all the power and strength we need to overcome our own individual sins. But that power is not like electricity so that we would be "slain", nor it is not like a soda machine where we pump in the right prayer and out comes victory. Rather it is the ability to obey given to the faithful soul who abides in the Lord.

In many ways, overcoming sin is simply growing in Christ. Though we will never be completly free from our struggle with, spiritual maturity naturally strengthens us against sin. Thus, this study is as much on the fundamentals for Christian maturity as they are for defeating sin. Once again, they are not "steps", but they are components.

Sin comes from our flesh so the flesh needs to be reckoned with. Sin also comes from our mind, so our thinking and thoughts need to be purified. Sin comes from our desires, so our hearts and "wants" need to be purified. Sin comes from our habits, so our habits need to be reshaped. Sin comes from our idols, so our worship needs to change. Sin comes from demonic forces, so they need to be reckoned with. As these areas of our lives are brought into submission to the Lord, we will experience great victory over sin.

These are the handouts of the study we are going through. They are mostly fill-in the blank questions. The material is straight-forward enough that several people have gone through the material on their own. Most fill-ins have the first letter of the word and thus all these studies are designed to be used with the New King James Version. The study is on-going (current as of 8/5/04) and I'll add to this page as the hand-outs are completed. The rough outline is at the bottom. It is very different from the course material, but gives a guideline for the direction we are going.

Please send me an email if these handouts have been helpful to you or if you have any thoughts or advice. Thanks.