I would not want to be noticed; I wanted to be invisible. This was reinforced in everyday life by my resentments, my supposed enemies, my fabricated world.

I would see someone who I owed money to and look down, “think invisible, invisible.”

I would remember about what I did the night before in the throes of my addiction, my secrets, my shame, my guilt.

I hunched over and looked down, subconsciously I own this thought: “I am invisible. If I stay in the dark, I will not be found out.”

My journey in recovery has brought me to realize that the subtle things we do in yoga have so much impact on all those negative connections.

Just the simple act of looking up in a pose counters all that shame and guilt; reversing my postures brings me back from the depths of darkness.

I remind my students of the significance of light in yoga.

We look into the light, we live in the light. We are no longer ashamed of ourselves, our secrets are exposed and insignificant, our past is gone. We are in the now, we are good, we are on the right path, the future is bright.

There is hope.

Craig McRae is a certified yoga instructor from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. He entered recovery in 2010 and found yoga. Yoga has brought light to his recovery. He decided after a year of being a student to travel to Nasik, India to train in the Bihar yoga tradition (Swami Satyananda Saraswati) at yogapoint(Yoga Vidya Gurukul). Craig now shares that light with his students. www.facebook.com/pnp.yoga

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Welcome Craig!!! It's much better in the light. Yoga, meditation, prayer, chanting, community, drumming and surrender–all were integral in my recovery. And still are. "We are in the now, we are good, we are on the right path, the future is bright."
Enjoy the journey, may yours be a long one!
~Eric

Thank you so much for posting this Craig! I can relate and feel as if I am SO fortunate to be able to live two lives in this lifetime- one in the darkness (now in the past) and one in the pure, bright, unadulterated light of the universe- it makes me appreciate EVERYthing so much more than I thought possible. To be able to share this gift of hope with others via yoga, and all areas of life really, is my life's mission. Much gratitude.