To be a good guy I should inform future female sex partners of my genital herpes prior to doing them. (right?)

Right!

But… chances are if this new girl is sexually active, she could very well be in the group of people who have it already, OR doesn’t know she has it group. (right?)

Right!

I have concluded that I am running a risk of being rejected sexually by someone who has it ALREADY & doesn’t know it, and takes off running!! ( Ignorance truly is bliss )

This is just whats in my head today, and wanted to get it out.

Thanks!

Side note: when I first thought I might have herpes, it blew me away. I was depressed, and wondering why me… Then I woke up! If I have it, I bet LOTS of people I know also have it, and are just as quite about it as I am. After reading and learning about it, its not the worst thing in the world. And the 1 in 5 thing just makes me think it would have been just a matter of time before I was exposed anyways. I enjoy condom use, and I am sure with these numbers (1 in 5) MANY of the chicks I have had sex with MUST have had it. I bet some of them knew they had it.

Roll down the rubber & shoot the dice!

New line at the bar: “I have herpes, do you have herpes?.... are you sure?”

You do make a valid point. You might be being honest and upfront with a potential partner and she could go running, yet she could be a carrier and not know it. Everybody who has posted on this board worries about telling a future partner and if everybody felt this way and was honest, you would think the virus would stop spreading at such a rate. Some people obviously dont know they are carrying it or dont care.

As it's a skin to skin type virus i'd say the majority of the sex industry must have herpes, so if single/attached people are seeing escorts and prostitutes i wonder at what rate the virus gets passed on. A fair number of people are into one night stands or have a few casual relationships going on at once. If they are like me and uneducated they likely believe that a condom prevents ALL std's.

One case i know of, a girl i once worked with broke up with her husband and after some months he came back and wanted a second attempt at making the marriage work. They were only together for 3 weeks and they did have sex in that time. She thought they wouldn't need a condom as he was still technically her 'husband', but she was unaware that he had had unprotected casual sex with another female during their seperation. She then went on to pass the virus onto somebody she met soon after. So all these people got infected during a short-ish time frame and none of them knew at the time that they carried the virus.

The best thing you can do is be honest and upfront and leave the rest to fate. Worrying about something out of your control could very well bring on an outbreak!!

Your fear of the chance of rejection is important, but, frankly, not as important as the chance you might infect an innocent, noninfected person. You must tell her to give her a chance to make the decision herself.

However, you can use that reasoning to help her decide you might be worth the risk. If you are honest about it and take steps to keep her from getting it, then she may be better off with you than with someone who doesn't know he has it or lies about it.

Herpes rates have actually dropped significantly in recent years. Here are the latest figures for genital herpes from a recent study:

14-19 year olds: 1.5%
20-29 year olds: 8.9%

Men (14-49 yrs): 11.2%
Overall (14-49 yrs): 17%

(Note: More women than men have genital herpes, because it is easier to infect a female than it is to infect a male)

Because herpes rates have dropped so much in recent years, due to increased condom usage, the younger generation has a much lower prevalence of herpes (i.e. if you are 20-29 years old, the chances of a partner having genital herpes are less than 1 in 10).

women are also more likely to have the opyion of a vaccine soon, a good reason to be careful not to infect them. another good reason, women can pass herpes to their children. herpes kills babies, even with treatment (estimates are as high as 70%) and survivors usually are left with lifelong neurological impairments (75-95%). rejection is crummy, but herpes is even worse.

Herpes rates have actually dropped significantly in recent years. Here are the latest figures for genital herpes from a recent study:

14-19 year olds: 1.5%
20-29 year olds: 8.9%

Men (14-49 yrs): 11.2%
Overall (14-49 yrs): 17%

(Note: More women than men have genital herpes, because it is easier to infect a female than it is to infect a male)

Because herpes rates have dropped so much in recent years, due to increased condom usage, the younger generation has a much lower prevalence of herpes (i.e. if you are 20-29 years old, the chances of a partner having genital herpes are less than 1 in 10).

When you say genital herpes, are these the figures for herpes type 2? I think as herpes type 2 is decreasing, herpes type 1 genitally is increasing somewhat. I am in the UK. One study in Scotland found that 1/3 of new genital herpes infections there were from type 1! - although our HSV2 infection rates have for some reason always been a bit lower than the US, our HSV1 rates seem to be a bit higher (both orally and genitally).