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Awaking and Living

10/12/2017

The picture above is with: Me, Ryan, Sara, and Stu. Some of our closest friends in LA.

I ask myself this list of questions in regards to an old friend and sometimes new ones. When I analyze my friendship with someone, I want to make sure that I pick the right path to either continue my friendship with them or to put it on hold:

When will I've had enough?

What good have they brought into my life?

Why do I have them as a friend?

When have they made me happy?

Do they give me more love or more anxiety?

What's my most memorable moment with them?

Who is she/he as a person?

Where did I first met her/him?

What was my first impression of her/him?

Why am I analyzing our friendship?

What can I do different in my relationship with them to improve it?

Do I want to improve the relationship?

This list can be more of a difficult than it seems. I had to analyze some friendships that I was involved with since middle school and the decision was inevitable. It was time to push away and to continue on with our lives in separate directions.

The who, what, where, when, why, how and do questions (5whd's) have helped me through some long-time tough friendships.

These questions have also pushed me to improve my relationship with my friend as well. How? I answered the questions backward. I put my self in their shoes and wondered how they would answer the questions. The results can be eye-opening! xxx <3 A&L

Everyone on this planet knows of the amazing Oprah Winfrey. One of the many lessons I have learned from her was to find out who your ladies in waiting are. What're a ladies in waiting? It's like your maid of honor at your wedding. Someone that you know will always be in your life no matter what and someone you know that will always be by your side.

Oprah said to write down four attributes that you believe is a must-have in a friend. For an example:

Loyal

Generous

Positive

Energetic

Honest

Good listener

Smart

Etc...

After you make your list write down all your girlfriends in a row. Make a chart with four sections with those attributes you picked.

Next, in each box of your choice, put a check mark next to the friends' name that you know for a fact has the particular characteristic.

Try not to sit there and make exceptions "Well they can be like this sometimes." Well, what are they like most of the time? There is no reason why you should make any exceptions. Be honest with yourself. This is for your eyes only.

Now, look at your list. How many friends do you have that has all four check marks next to their name? If you have one, that's more than some people will have in their lifetime. Treasure them and make sure to let them know how much you appreciate their friendship.

If you don't have one friend that has any of those attributes, you now know what characteristics to look for in a friend. xxx <3 A&L

To clarify the title, I believe I'm one of the wealthiest people alive when it comes to having solid friendships. I love making friends and I love being around all of them!

Some people don't have any friends and would rather be alone.

Picture of some good times! Me, Harley, Beatrice, Yas and Daisy

I have to admit, I didn't always have these many friends. I was quite a loner growing up and could barely count my best friends on one hand or one finger in that matter. I never knew when someone was talking behind my back, trying to steal a boyfriend or conspiring against me. I rather am alone than to bother with all the drama.

After a while, I got quite lonely and I had to change. I made a pact with myself that I would be:

Less Judgmental

Get out of being stuck in my ways

Find patience

Try to allow others to take the lead

Give people a chance until proved otherwise

I use to look for a flaw with someone just to push them away. Either they would:

talk too much

complain all the time

be a Debbi downer

fair weather friend

needy

selfish

negative

slutty

boring

nothing in common

broke and I would have to pay for everything

user

cheats on their relationship

never listens

only around when single

criticizes your every move

Guess what, if someone has one of those attributes that is listed above, I bet someone can find something about you they don't like either that's listed there as well. So either accept that not everyone is perfect or you can be alone for the rest of your life.

Here is a picture of some amazing woman. A picture worth a thousand words!

When I meet someone that has more than the majority listed above, that's when it's time for me to push away. When I find it hard work to be around them, I know their friendship isn't making me happy, then I know it's time to end that friendship.

Conflicts happen in every human relationship. It's up to you to face those conflicts and continue that relationship or that relationship will be lost.

It takes courage to admit when you are wrong and apologize. You will grow as a person and hopefully grow your friendship with that individual as well. xxx <3 A&L

What if you are new to town, don't know anyone and want to make some new friends?

Going out by your self can be very intimidating especially if you are shy and aren't a social light.

For now, Google will be your best friend! First, what do you like to do? For me, when I would move to a new town I would start by writing a list of things I enjoy doing.

hiking

non-profit work

art

sports

cooking

gym

wine

This is a picture of me when I first moved to Los Angeles. Burton Morris, an artist I appreciate, had a showing in LA. I decided to check it out and met some amazing people.

With this list I would type in Google:

Popular places to hike in Los Angeles: I found Runyon Canyon, Topanga State Park Trail, and Griffin Park Trails

Non-profit work Los Angeles: Plenty of opening with the red cross, working with children with disabilities, feeding the homeless etc.

Los Angeles art... Then I look at the options list that is given by Google on the scroll. The first one on the list is Los Angeles art walk downtown LA.

Los Angeles sports activities: The first website you are able to look up adult sports leagues for every sport imaginable!

You get the idea... So if you are new to LA or any other town you now have plenty of things you can get involved with and know how to meet tons of new people! Shy or not, you will be doing what you love and meeting people with the same hobbies! xxx <3 A&L