no matter how desperate, don’t f*ck a melon January 30, 2007

…that would, unfortunately, not be the case for the poster of a certain message board — you know, the same one i’ve culled from before, due to its consistent ability to provide unending entertainment at the expense of other’s lives. is that sad? rather, is it sadder for me or them? anyway, here’s the deal: someone decided to start a thread with sex and relationship advice, one poster suggested they drill a hole in a melon and, uh, have relations with it…

“Ok i’ve had the melons since yesterday. Cost me about $5 for two of them. Now how do i carve the hole? I don’t want to make it too big.”

“oh yeah another thing i heated it up 2 minutes already and the inside is still hard. well it’s finally hot, but still hard. look’s like the melon’s not up for anything tonight. lol.gif”

and the money shot…

“i tried and the melon didn’t do it for me much down there. felt too hard. didn’t feel close enough to the real thing. oh yeah and aftermath picture.”