Announcements

Hi all,
I'm sure you've noticed some changes in the forums. We've again had to do some updates, so that's why things may look a little different. Nothing major should have changed.
Also, we are going to start adding advertisements sensitive to our community on the boards. This is something we are experimenting with, and we will certainly make sure they are in the best interests of everyone. We want to make sure our forums continue to stay accessible and cost free to all of our members, and this is a way to ensure this.
If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to privately message me or email me at Konnie@beyondindigo.com.
As always, we will be here with you,
ModKonnie

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About Me

My name is Veronica and I am from Boston, Massachusetts. In January 2011 my dad passed away very suddenly. He had a heart attack in our basement on the morning I was due to start work at my new job. My family has a motto which is "there are no problems, only solutions," and therefore I have used my experience with my dad's death as a motivating force in helping me become who I am today.Currently I am a doctoral candidate in Denver where I study family communication. As the final step in my 23 years of schooling, I am in the process of collecting data for my dissertation. Driven from my own experiences, and from substantial gaps in research, my dissertation explores how parent-child pairs experience spousal/parental death. Specifically, there is a lot of research out there that explores familial death, but nearly all of this work looks at death as an individual experience, and, as those of us who have experienced family loss know, death is an incredibly relational experience. Further, this project has also helped me come to terms with my dad's death, and has given meaning to his loss in ways that other coping techniques could not. Therefore, I am reaching out to you all to see if you might help me in my personal and professional journey. I am hoping to reach out to parents and children who have experienced spousal/parental death and encourage them to take an anonymous online survey. Because I am interested in the relational experience, part of participation in this survey requires that you recruit your child or parent to also take part in the survey. However, because the survey is hosted online, parents and children do not have to be together to take the survey. Although there is no limit on the time that has passed since the death, both the parent and the child must be at least 18 years of age or older when taking the survey. The survey can be found here (https://udenver.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_9naCdEwwu93snPf), and is anonymous and confidential. After completion you can also enter to win one of 10 $20 gift cards.I very much appreciate you taking the time to consider participating in my project, and being a part of my journey. If you would like more information please email me, or comment below.

I don't really know how to start this but here goes, on the 5th of May this year after not hearing off my father that day and he didn't respond to any calls or texts, me (24) and my brother (19) went to check on him around 7pm, when we arrived we found my dad had passed away (56). I tried everything in my power to ressusatate him but I knew it was too late but continued until the paramedics arrived.
when the paramedics arrived minutes after, they made no attempt of resuscitation and made contact with the police. It took from 7pm to 1:40am for my dad to be taken by private ambulance to the coroners office. Which was so difficult as the layout of my dads home meant we could see him the entire duration, which was really distressing.
My dad was with the coroners for 3 weeks before they finally released him to the funeral home so we could visit him in the chapel of rest. When we went to visit him I was apprehensive as I've always opted not to visit family in the chapel of rest (I've never been sure why) but this time I knew I needed to. When we arrived we were warned due to how long it has been we had to expect some changes. When we entered it didn't look like my dad, there was similarities but he looked so different, it really shocked me. I fell to the floor in tears.
Me, my brother and my sister arranged his funeral and it was beautiful. It really was so fitting for a wonderful man.
We still have no answers as to why my dad is no longer with us and its really difficult at the moment. I've taken a 6 month interruption of university, I was 12 weeks away from qualifying as a nurse but I have lost absolutely all confidence in that career, as the first time I've had to put my CPR skills was on my dad and I failed. The paramedics said there was nothing that could have worked as they believed he passed away during the previous night. But I still feel so guilty.
ive barley been able to sleep, I keep getting flashbacks of the event and when I do get some sleep it's usually nightmares. I've trying to hold it together around everyone else as I've been there to support them but when I find night creeping in, and everyone is asleep I fall apart.
The only thing bringing some light at the moment is my son. I feel like a passenger in my own life right now, I have no goals, no productivity and no answers. I just feel so so alone.
Sorry for the long post.