Counselor offers tips for coping with holiday stress

Published 8:00 am, Friday, December 19, 2014

Christmas is the season of hope, joy and peace, a celebration of Jesus’ birth.

Christmas is a time of excess: too much spending, too much drinking, too much eating, too much family, too many renditions of “Holly, Jolly Christmas.”

Christmas is all of the above, and the trick is not letting the second part overcome the first.

Ron Trusler, a licensed professional counselor and CEO of Central Plains Center, Plainview, believes it is the case that more people suffer from the blues during the holidays, especially if life has dealt them some blows, such as a death, a divorce or health problems, during the past year.

“Stuff lingers, and the holidays kind of compound it,” he said.

Even if your life has been relatively stress-free during the year, “Any time we get out of our routine, even though it’s enjoyable, it increases the stress.”

Furthermore, Trusler said, “Some of us don’t like our families. Maybe you like your aunt and uncle, but you don’t like your cousins. It adds to the stress.”

One way to relieve holiday stress is to let it go.

“Find someone you can trust that you can talk to,” Trusler said.

And if holiday company is getting you down, take a break and get away. “Here, let me run those errands for you.”

Children also can be overcome by too much celebrating. “Make sure they stay on a sleep and eating routine. If they’re away from home, or even if they’re not away from home, stay as close as possible to the normal routine to help reduce stress.”

Holiday traditions don’t need to become holiday musts. “You feel like you have to get up all the decorations, the stuff that the kids made in first grade or it’ll hurt their feelings; you’ve gotta have turkey and ham, you can’t have steak,” Trusler said. “When you get a couple of families together, even adult children with their Christmas Eve versus Christmas morning, it can be stressful.”

“Sometimes it can be a relief to break tradition a little bit,” he added. “Who says you have to have a houseful of people? Sometimes families may choose to ‘just be my family’ or ‘just be me’ rather than having a whole bunch of people over.”

Trusler points out, however, that people who are alone much of the time may welcome holiday company. Also, those who stick strictly with the holiday traditions may be relieving stress in their own way.

“If they’re really facing sorrow due to recent or past happenings, they may sense that life’s out of control. If things are a whirlwind, it’s important to look for something that’s stable, something they can depend on.”

The holidays can be a time for people to process their feelings about recent sad or tragic events.

“Christmas just kind of forces you,” Trusler said. “It hits you in the face when the reason for your happiness is gone either by death or choice. During the holidays, we tend to grieve more deeply, which can be a good thing. Sometimes it takes several holidays for (the grief) to ease up a bit.”

Sometimes sad memories of Christmas past can put people off Christmas entirely. Trusler said that was his own case when his first wife told him she didn’t love him anymore on Christmas Eve.

“I said the heck with Christmas, not the reason for it, but all the celebrations and other stuff. It’s something I renewed for several years.”

At this point, Trusler has been happily married for 27 years, and he no longer feels so strongly about the season. “I got a lot of mileage out of ‘bah humbug,’ though,” he admits.

For some people, a feeling of sadness or anger can go beyond the usual “holiday blues” and may require professional help.

“If a person is tearful, crying for no reason for several days or a couple of weeks, if they find no spot of enjoyment or pleasure in anything, especially if they’re having thoughts of suicide, and that life is not worth living, those thoughts are very serious,” Trusler said. “Remember that help is readily available.”