Why Do You Hate Me?

Last night we went to bed really late, and I quickly found myself drifting in that not-quite-awake-but-not-asleep state. This is a very receptive state for a lot of people when it comes to spiritual contact or big thoughts, and it’s when I get some very real contact with my Crew.

I thought I was heading for sleep when I heard “Why do you hate me?”

I turned, finding myself in a room that wasn’t my bedroom, looking over at Tempest – the representation of my Higher Self.

As usual, she looked like me, except immaculate. Awesome all-black outfit that isn’t even currently in my wardrobe (except the pants – I own those but I can’t wear them right now thanks to baby belly,) perfect hair, perfect makeup . . . etc.

She was looking at me with an intense expression, perched on the back of a chair, fiddling with her necklace.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Exactly what I asked. Why do you hate me?” she repeated.

I tried to protest and say I didn’t, because that would be crazy, but she just stared until my words petered out uncomfortably.

“Most of the time when a woman hates another woman, it’s for one of two reasons. The first is that the other woman has wronged the first – which isn’t why you hate me.

“The second . . . is when the first woman feels like the other is holding or representing an unattainable ideal. She has something the first woman wants, but doesn’t understand how she can create. She doesn’t see how it fits into her life.”

I found myself looking Tempest over, with her cool clothes and perfect everything (not pregnant and awkward, I might add) and didn’t say anything.

She continued, “This thinking is bullshit in any situation, which you are perfectly aware of. There is nothing in this world to be jealous of. But right now? This makes even less sense. You hate me because you think I have something you don’t.

“But I’m you! Everything I have is everything you are! I am a representation of the best version of current-you. In fact, I can only evolve just so far past where you are. Nothing you see here is more than a couple steps from where you are now. So hating me makes no sense, because I’m you.

“And if you’re just hating yourself on some kind of principle, knock that shit off. You know that doesn’t serve anyone. Not you, not your family, not the people you’re here to help.

“Fuck fear. Fuck paralysis. Fuck all the limiting stories. And fuck this self-hatred. It’s time to get to work, and you don’t have time for any of that.

Then that state was gone, and I found myself staring into the darkness of my bedroom for a while, processing that.

I feel like we do have a tendency to hate ourselves. It’s programmed in, to a large degree. We’re told we’re not enough, and we’re trained to despise those who “have more” than us, and apparently this extends to better versions of ourselves as well.

One reason why the powers that be don’t want us getting in touch with our Higher Selves collectively is that we’ll realize that this game of comparisons and loathing is just that . . . a game that we are set up to lose. But if we stop playing, we win.

Stop hating your Higher Self – the better version of you – and make the decision to not only get in touch with her, but love her (and yourself as well!)