Relationship Woes: It’s His Loss… or is it?

Is it really? We often use these words to cheer up a woman who has been dumped or rejected by someone she is interested in, but I have come to wonder if this is even a valid form of comfort. First, what exactly did he lose? I’m sure you’re a wonderful specimen of a woman who never does anything wrong (and if you do there is a perfectly good explanation for it), but he let you go because he didn’t want you. So if he didn’t want you, what exactly did he lose? Look at it from the other perspective. Has there ever been a guy that kept pursuing you that you weren’t interested in? Once they finally got the hint and left you alone, did you experience a sense of loss… or relief? My point is not to make you feel worse; my point is to encourage you to heal from the inside.
The unfortunate truth is that… it’s your loss. You’re the one who wanted it to work, you’re the one who’s sad, and you’re the one you need to focus on. Soothing your pain with all the things he’s missing out on puts the focus on him rather than you. Also, once you see him moving on and happy with the next woman, who do you think will feel like they’re missing something? Now of course there is the possibility that he has made a mistake and will feel a sense of loss, but if that’s the only thing that makes you feel better about the situation then you seem a little petty and do you really want to be with someone who turns you into a petty individual?

So how can you heal from the inside? FOCUS ON YOU! Why are you sad? Is it the specific individual you miss or is it the companionship they offered? Are you afraid that you won’t find anyone else, or do you really not want anyone else? Is he the best God could give you, or do you believe that God is preparing you for what more is to come? Figure out what is really bothering you and start from there. After a while you will realize that whether you really want this particular person for yourself or not, there is a lot of healing and growth that will come from this experience that will have nothing to do with him. Get yourself together and everything else will fall into place.

Now for those of you who are plagued by that infamous question “what does she have that I don’t have?” I have the answer. It’s not confidence, it’s not your man, it’s not better sex, or a better way around the kitchen. All she has that you don’t have is… the man God has for her at this time. Unfortunately, the man God has for you continues to be overlooked because you’re focusing on somebody else’s man. Take your time to mourn your loss, but also open your eyes so you will see what is there for you.