6 Ways to Encourage Girl Athletes of All Abilities to Get the Most Out of Sports

Your daughter might be the highest scorer in her division,
she might be warming the bench most of the games, or she might just be a
middle-of-the-road player, and those are all important roles. No matter how
well she performs in her sport, there are lessons you can teach her that will
help mold her into a positive, confident, and caring young woman who shows
great sportsmanship and character, no matter the situation.

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Cheer
for her teammates.

“You grow by treating your teammates well even when you’re
not succeeding,” says Kelly Peloquin,
Coach of Asphalt Green’s Unified Aquatics swim team and a former high school
All-American and college swimmer. Moms can talk to their daughters about
how to control negative emotions and move positively forward. “Noticing your teammates’
success around you [is] one of the most important things to remember whether
you’re winning or losing.” Peloquin says she and her coaching team create a
positive coaching atmosphere. “It’s important to focus on being a good person,
not just an athlete. We [tell] our swimmers, ‘If two of your teammates have a
terrible swim, ask yourself how you can be a good teammate and show good
sportsmanship.’” Make sure you’re teaching your daughter about respecting her
teammates and showing herself self-respect even if she didn’t perform as well
as she hoped, suggests Peloquin.

Applaud your child’s effort.

“Whether
it's kids or adults, boys or girls, I always think it's important to emphasize
effort,” says exercise physiologist and running coach Jonathan Cane, co-founder
of City Coach in New York.
“I've been the fastest on teams, and I've been
the slowest on teams. But I always made sure that I was as prepared as
possible, and tried as hard as possible. And to me, as an athlete, if you can
say that you prepared and competed to the best of your ability, you should hold
your head high, regardless of the outcome. So for a kid who struggles, that's
what I'd emphasize.”

Teach her to appreciate where and how
she fits in.

When kids are frustrated by a less talented
teammate, “I remind them to focus on the effort put forth,” says Cane. “And I
remind them that while they might be the star of one team, as they move up in
the ranks—from JV to Varsity, or from local to regional or travel teams, they
might no longer be the star of the team. They might find themselves working
even harder, but suddenly they're struggling to keep up with their teammates.
Presumably they would want to be supported rather than ostracized by their more
talented teammates,” says Cane.

Listen
for educational opportunities.

“I keep in mind that how I talk about myself and my athletic
abilities reflects on my daughter,” says Nikki Walter, a Bodybuilding.com Team
Athlete, a high school cheerleader who started a dance team at her college. “If
I overhear one of my 10-year-old daughters’ friends saying, ‘I could never do
that,’ [about a physical challenge], I think she may have heard that through
her own family,” says Walter. “I take it as a future opportunity when my
daughter is away from her friends to ask her, ‘What do you think about that? Do
you feel like there are things you can’t do?’ I do my best to create a positive
environment for my daughter, discussing her goals for tennis and ballet and
coming up with a plan to push through obstacles,” says Walter. If you hear your
daughter say, “I can’t!” use it as an opportunity to encourage her to at least
give something a try.

Remind
her it’s good for her health in the short- and long-term.

“A great reason for girls to stay in the game is that
physical activity when you are young can help to build stronger bones that can last a
lifetime,” says Dr.
Karen Litzy, PT, DPT. “Being part of a sport and staying
physically active as a girl can reduce the likelihood of developing diabetes
and heart problems. This can help to keep you healthy as you age.”

Demonstrate your abilities.

Kids often model their parents’ behaviors, says
Cane. So set a good example. That doesn't have to mean going out and running a
5-minute mile, but it does mean getting off the couch, he suggests. “More often
than not, if I tell my son I'm going to the gym, he asks if he can come. I
don't pressure him and I don't even directly encourage him to do those things.
I try to tell him that I had fun or felt good exercising, as opposed to telling
him how fast I went or if I won a race,” says Cane. Consider going on a long
walk or bike ride with your daughter and point out interesting things you see,
or comment on how good it feels to be outside and exercising. This will remind
her that staying active is about enjoyment, and not just training for trophies.