Real Talk part 2

I got a lot of interesting responses to my post on Monday. It sounds like I’m not the only one out there who avoids things because they are illegal. With the laws about Marijuana in Washington flipping I’ve heard from quite a few people in my position of being mid to late thirties, never having tried the stuff and curious what it’s all about. So I’ll go ahead and break down my first experience with it. Get ready for REAL TALK part 2.

It’s worth mentioning that I’m actually writing this while incredibly high. Not on weed though. I’m on a plane on my way to Boston.

Like I said in my last post Tycho gave me the “hook up” but I still had no idea what to do with it. I’d never smoked anything in my life. So I had a couple very close friends come over to my house and help me out. They took me out into the garage and got everything ready for me. Even knowing it wasn’t illegal anymore I was still super paranoid. It’s hard to flip that switch when you’ve spent so long thinking that what I was about to do would send me to jail.

They gave me the pipe and told me just to breath in. Taking a bunch of hot smoke into my lungs didn’t feel great. After one “hit” they had me stop and wait a few minutes. They asked how I felt and then had me take some more. We repeated this process a few times and each time I responded that I felt normal. I was starting to think it wasn’t going to “work” because I had heard that sometimes SSRI medication can actually negate the effects of marijuana. Then it hit me.

My friend asked how I feel and I said “funny”. “Funny how?” he asked me. I thought about it and started to laugh. For twenty years I’ve made fun of how stupid people on weed sound. I joke about it with Jerry all the time. So here I finally was trying it for myself and I was about to sound so fucking stupid. I didn’t want to give Jerry the satisfaction because I knew this would all get back to him. I said it anyway though. “I feel like my insides are slower than my outsides.” I said. “Like if I move real quick it takes a second for my insides to catch up.” My friends all started laughing and I didn’t blame them. So now that I felt a little goofy they decided it was time to start exposing me to different types of stimuli.

First up was funny cat videos on Youtube. Now I’ve watched cat videos before. I’ve even laughed at some of them. But never like this. These were the funniest Goddamned cat videos I had ever seen. Possibly the funniest videos in the entire world. I was crying I was laughing so hard. In one video a cat jumped out of the grass and caught a bird. I lost my shit I made them play it over and over again as I wiped tears out of my eyes.

Next came a looped video of a spinning rainbow colored tunnel. Immediately my mood changed. I sat super still and just watched totally fucking entranced by this stupid tunnel video. Even though i knew perfectly well it was just a looped gif I could not look away. It was incredible, it was powerful, it was important somehow.

Then came music. They asked what I wanted to listen to and I asked for some John Denver. Rocky Mountain High came on and I was blown away. it sounded like no music I had ever heard before in my life. I felt like it was playing through me and my entire body was resonating with it. “I get it now!” I said as the song was playing. “He is singing about pot.” my friend laughed.”They are all singing about pot” he said. The other stuff was cool but this was amazing. All I wanted to do was lay down and listen to my favorite songs through this new lens.

Eventually it was late and so my friends left. I looked at the Christmas lights on the tree for a while, then eventually made my way to bed. The sheets felt so soft.

I’ve been drunk twice in my life. Both times were in Las Vegas, and now that I think about it, both times were with Robert. I don’t like the taste of alcohol, and I don’t especially like feeling buzzed or drunk. For me it comes along with a queasiness that I would rather avoid. I am also bad at drinking things. It doesn’t matter what the liquid is either I can’t even finish an entire can of soda. So even the physical act of drinking enough alcohol to feel anything is hard for me. Then obviously the way you feel the next day sucks butt.

That’s really the only thing I have to compare being high to though. For me at least it was a significantly more positive experience. I did not feel sick at all during or the next day. I also liked how it was something quick that I did and then let it color all these different experiences for the rest of the night. The times I’ve been drunk it seemed like getting drunk was the point of the evening. This was more like a modifier to my existing evening. I also prefer the feeling you get from it. Drinking makes me loosen up certainly and I get sort of giggly but this was very different. This seemed to amplify however I was feeling. Funny things were funnier, music I thought was good was amazing and so on. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it.

So in the end I feel sort of silly for being so scared of it for so long. In practice it’s actually sort of boring. You do it and then you lay on the couch and watch TV. Having tried it now I can confirm that I have no desire to move to meth or try some crack. I think that just like some people can drink and not be an alcoholic I think it’s probably possible to have some marijuana occasionally and not become a pothead. I’m honestly glad I tried it. The reality is that my boys will probably grow up in a world where pot is totally legal and treated similar to alcohol. Like gay marriage, I think that it’s just inevitable. Right now it’s just a couple states, but old people are dying all the time and young people just don’t care about this stuff. I feel like now having tried it I can talk to my kids about it when it’s time and give them real information, not bullshit I learned from DARE.

So what’s my final verdict? I think it’s fun. I think like anything that fucks with your brain you gotta be careful with it. Just like drinking, I’ll tell my kids about my experiences with it when they ask. I’d like for them to wait until they are old enough to be smart about it but I don’t expect them to wait until they are 35 like me. My goal as a dad is to raise two intelligent boys who have the tools they need to deal with anything and that includes getting offered pot at a party.

Oh and yes the experience I just described was filmed. I told them to go ahead because I figured it might be interesting. I have no idea if those videos will ever see the light of day though. Maybe a stretch goal for our next Kickstarter?