Quod Erat Demonstrandum

How to Operate with a Humanoid: Part 2

It’s been over 3 years since I wrote Part 1. It was about a recurring character called Drake, who is referred to as a Humanoid in my first blog, that I wrote when I was in second year of college. 3 years down the line, Drake has been promoted to main cast. Congrats Drake!

As a recap, Humanoids were extremely difficult to deal with. They were moody, stoic, reserved, rude and always busy. Today Humanoids are easier to deal with, but still as moody and always busy.

Dealing with Humanoids has gotten a lot easier than I would have expected. Actually, dealing with professors, shop keepers, barbers, bus conductors, PG owners, coworkers and auto drivers has just gotten extremely tougher in comparison, so my Humanoid fills the Human void in my life.

I programmed my Humanoid so well, it actually developed feelings. Like how Wall-e ignited feelings in Eva. Just that now, Humanoid doesn’t know how to deal with these feelings. So this post should ideally be called, How to Operate with a Humanoid having Feelings: Part 1. (Side note, I’m splitting these into parts because I can never stop discovering new things about my Humanoid).

Because Humanoid was programmed so well, that he turned out to be the best Humanoid ever, he was handed over responsibilities that only the best could handle. Problem is that he feels overwhelmed by all of these responsibilities. As a default setting, the Humanoid operates at maximum efficiency. The minimum setting is 95%. When the Humanoid is overloaded with tasks, such as taking care of his super awesome girlfriend and taking care of major projects at work, he times out. Lack of efficacy provides intense negative feedback to the bot, which leads to network failure between Humanoid and his peers.

In such a situation, it’s important to find the reset button. It has been observed that humor blog posts about Humanoids prove to be intensely therapeutic if the Humanoid manages to schedule the small task of reading them. If not, weekly visits by the aforementioned super awesome girlfriend do the trick too.

Humanoids love watching movies that they can relate to. So science fiction and superhero flicks do the trick. They also like other programmed sources of entertainment, just like themselves, such as strategic games on mobile devices.

Once in hibernate mode, it takes time for the Humanoid to power up. Which is a good thing because Humanoids assume their most adorable form during this time.

To end this post on a more adorable note, my Humanoid is the source of all positivity in my life. Hopefully I’ll be out with a manual in 40 years!

The only way to get love is to be lovable. It's very irritating if you have a lot of money. You'd like to think you could write a check: 'I'll buy a million dollars' worth of love.' But it doesn't work that way. The more you give love away, the more you get. - Warren Buffet