Author
Topic: The Girl Who Doesn't Get It (Read 6096 times)

We have a new teammate - S - who is a contractor doing a specific function. Her function could be done by me, or another team mate, but we decided that since we had other things that weren't easily offloaded, and this function was, we'd have a contractor handle them. S is polite, very quiet, does her work and doesn't mix much with others. This in itself isn't the issue, but it does color how we interact with her - she does better with e-mails, and doesn't call or come to our desks (we all work in the same general area, no more than 30 feet from her desk).

She's been working on a project for some time, for an external (not on our team, but in our company) group. When S went out sick for two weeks, I had to step in and do some of it - there was a tight deadline involved. She's been back for a month, and is trying to finish up the second half of the project. I did the work that comprised the first half of the project in about two days - including compiling a lot of data. She could have used my data, but chose to pull her own copies, and go through the manual work again. She could have followed the (very simple) steps I used, but instead is making it VERY complicated, so that she can use a specific tool instead of just doing the work. She's spent hundreds of hours on this - I did the first (larger) half in TWO DAYS. We had a meeting today that lasted four hours because my boss had to walk her through all the issues with the data she'd come up with, line by line. In other words, she is NOT working out well on this.

My issue is, how do I handle being polite, when I really want to scream at her? I would appreciate some strategies - I've tried to just not talk to her if I can help it, but because my boss was OOO the day that she started, I helped do the onboarding for her (getting badges, computer access, etc.) and she thinks of me as her supervisor, even though I'm not. I'm also the only other girl on the team, and I think that's an issue for her - she seems uncomfortable in our mostly male workplace. I really want to like her, and she's polite, but she just. doesn't. get. it. and it's affecting both my work (my boss knows this) and my morale (which I've been trying to disguise).

You don’t have to like her. However, politeness and civility are requirements in (most) work settings. I’ve worked with people I disliked, and people I would like to have strangled (for very good reason). But, “please, thank you, good morning, ” and speaking to people in a civil tone are things which are expected. Screaming and using a nasty tone can get you in trouble.

I noticed you use the term "girl". Is she a teen-ager/minor?

You seem to be most irritated by what you see as performance deficiencies and work habits. Isn't that something you can discuss with management, especially if your job is impacted?

If not, then unfortunately your dislike of her is on you. If your boss didn't do anything when you told him that her work was affecting yours, then you've done what you can. You could try that again, with specific instances and proposed solutions, but otherwise it sounds like you need to be civil and polite to her.

How long is her contract assignment? Was she given a deadline to finish the project? Is this a finite temporary assignment or an open-ended indefinite contract position?

Maybe it's a good idea to bring the work-related issues you have with her to her onsite supervisor's attention, because if she's not working out she can be replaced by the agency who sent her, and if that's not feasible (because of the amount of time it takes to train someone to do the work) maybe she should be let go. But it would have to be communicated to the agency because if not (and if she's not given a chance to improve or make the situation right) then your company wouldn't be given a discount/refund for the cost of the employee.

In any case, I think these issues need to be addressed with her onsite supervisor and the agency who placed her.

I had a similar situation once and I let it go on until it was too late to do anything about it. If I had to do it over again, I would have contacted the agency right away and had them send over someone else or refund me. (I was the owner of our company so I was her onsite supervisor.) But I didn't do any of that because I was "trying to be nice" and the project wound up getting messed up and it cost a LOT of money that ultimately was wasted. I'd have been better off doing it myself.

Anyway, I feel for you there. But it really sounds like you just don't. like. her. and are looking for permission to act on it, if that makes any sense. You know you shouldn't do that, frustrating as the situation is. I'd take it to the supervisor because it sounds like her lack of productivity is harming your work, and wasting company money - and I'd frame it in those terms, leaving out the interpersonal dislike/personality issues. That way, they are sure to listen and possibly act upon the information. Hopefully, they'll get someone better for your team or work with her to improve. Believe me, the temp agency is VERY interested in keeping your company a happy customer - they'll bend over backwards to make it work out because they are surely desperate to keep placements happening.

Hope this helps and that your situation gets resolved quickly! And my heart goes out to you...I relate to your dilemma.

Also, if I missed that you already consulted her onsite manager, and they want to do nothing about it, then the best thing to do, I think, is 'grin and bear it' for the rest of her contract. Hopefully it's not a lengthy one. At least if it's a project-based finite contract, then you know in advance when it's going to end. But if it's open-ended until the project is complete, there's your answer to why she's taking so long. And that really is a problem your company should resolve. But it may damage you to make an issue of it if they don't want to, unfortunately. So I wouldn't recommend that. Say it once, let it go. If you've already done that, not much more you can do, I'm afraid.

My major question is, has anyone found any strategies to handle someone that they have to work with, that is incompetent but we can't yet get rid of, that doesn't sound condescending? She's on a year contract, and is on about month four. I mentor people all the time, and have really tried to do so with her (she's younger than me, which is unusual for me - I usually am the youngest person in the room) but I just can't seem to strike a balance between talking her through the same thing for the tenth time and not sounding like I'm talking her through it for the tenth time, you know?

My major question is, has anyone found any strategies to handle someone that they have to work with, that is incompetent but we can't yet get rid of, that doesn't sound condescending? She's on a year contract, and is on about month four. I mentor people all the time, and have really tried to do so with her (she's younger than me, which is unusual for me - I usually am the youngest person in the room) but I just can't seem to strike a balance between talking her through the same thing for the tenth time and not sounding like I'm talking her through it for the tenth time, you know?

I don't think it would be rude or condescending to say "we have covered this at least # of times, and it is still not a matter you understand. Can you explain what is confusing to you, or how you might be able to learn this function? Repeating the same instruction over and over as we have done is not producing results."

Logged

Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink -- under any circumstances.Mark Twain

It really annoys me when people don't actively participate in learning.

When I have been in the position to be trained on something (usually the use of a new software program) by another individual (i.e. not in a classroom setting by an actual professional teacher) I actively participate and take copious notes and ask questions so I am sure I understand. For me to be able to learn something, I really have to be the person "leading" the discussion, if you will. That's so I don't get lost. But, by the end of it, I will have produced a very thorough "private" usage guide/manual for myself in which each step of the process to do XYZ is written out and detailed for myself (or, really, anyone who's never been exposed to it). After practicing a few times, I then remember the steps enough to do the process without relying on my manual, which I still have available any time I need it. This is especially helpful to have if I don't use the program often enough to become expert at using it. Anyway. That's how *I* personally learn things. I have to observe, ask questions, take notes, and actually DO it so I get it. Not everyone is like that, obviously. But it's just that people have different learning styles. I'm fortunate that after all these years I know mine, so if someone asks, at least I'll know what does or doesn't work for me. (Sitting in front of a TV or monitor watching a video once doesn't do it for me, for example. I have to learn interactively.)

So....taking forever to get to my point...can you ask her what kind of learning style she has? (If she knows, anyway. Doesn't sound to me like she's that interested in learning anything about the job four months in.) And I agree with buvezdevin - I think it's perfectly appropriate after this much time to indicate to her that you have covered the same material several times but she still doesn't understand. I think expressing that level of frustration to her is perfectly acceptable, and, frankly, possibly necessary.

I would put in on HER to figure out what learning style works best for her and have her write down all the questions she has about it and then you'll go over it with her...one last time...as SHE writes down the answers. And then, after that, if she still "doesn't get it" you need to talk with her onsite supervisor AGAIN about the fact that she is wasting company time and money and that she needs to GO. And get what they're paying her to pay you a bonus for doing her job.

The contractor is there to help your team finish a project, right? And you need her finished work so you can complete yours, right? Can you avoid dealing with her? Is it your job to train her? Or her supervisor's? Because if it's not your responsibility to train her, I say, DON'T. Keep asking for contractor's work output from her supervisor, or CC the supervisor on repeated requests for said output that you send to the contractor.

We have a new teammate - S - who is a contractor doing a specific function. Her function could be done by me, or another team mate, but we decided that since we had other things that weren't easily offloaded, and this function was, we'd have a contractor handle them. S is polite, very quiet, does her work and doesn't mix much with others. This in itself isn't the issue, but it does color how we interact with her - she does better with e-mails, and doesn't call or come to our desks (we all work in the same general area, no more than 30 feet from her desk).

She's been working on a project for some time, for an external (not on our team, but in our company) group. When S went out sick for two weeks, I had to step in and do some of it - there was a tight deadline involved. She's been back for a month, and is trying to finish up the second half of the project. I did the work that comprised the first half of the project in about two days - including compiling a lot of data. She could have used my data, but chose to pull her own copies, and go through the manual work again. She could have followed the (very simple) steps I used, but instead is making it VERY complicated, so that she can use a specific tool instead of just doing the work. She's spent hundreds of hours on this - I did the first (larger) half in TWO DAYS. We had a meeting today that lasted four hours because my boss had to walk her through all the issues with the data she'd come up with, line by line. In other words, she is NOT working out well on this.

My issue is, how do I handle being polite, when I really want to scream at her? I would appreciate some strategies - I've tried to just not talk to her if I can help it, but because my boss was OOO the day that she started, I helped do the onboarding for her (getting badges, computer access, etc.) and she thinks of me as her supervisor, even though I'm not. I'm also the only other girl on the team, and I think that's an issue for her - she seems uncomfortable in our mostly male workplace. I really want to like her, and she's polite, but she just. doesn't. get. it. and it's affecting both my work (my boss knows this) and my morale (which I've been trying to disguise).

re: bolded

OP isn't asking how to improve performance or help with training strategies.

She's asked how to be polite to this person without screaming. (At least, that's the way I'm understanding it.)

"OP isn't asking how to improve performance or help with training strategies. She's asked how to be polite to this person without screaming. (At least, that's the way I'm understanding it.)"

Figuring out how to work better with her is realistically part and parcel of dealing with her without blowing up. It's too simple to the process to say that only direct advice works, because (for mrkitty's example) figuring out how to work with her to get the job done better will go a long way toward preventing a blowup, insofar as RebeccainGA's stress level will be reduced by effectively training S. Even if the training doesn't work out, it's still got benefits in giving RebeccainGA some polite conversational points to interact with her, so it solves both the up-front problem (how can she be polite right now) and the longer issue (how can she rectify the situation that's making it difficult to be polite).

Thanks guys, and you're right, training her better will be an indirect fix.

I think she's getting ready to finally fall under "professional Darwinism", though - that second half of the project has now been dumped squarely on my shoulders, and all my other work shifted to 'after you finish' - and because of all her confusion and incomplete submissions of stuff, I had to suffer through a three hour conference call on Friday afternoon. My boss did, too. He's right on the bubble of getting rid of her - and her calling in today, for the umpteenth time in the last two months, may be the straw that broke the camel's back.