Sullee and the White Rapper Show at the Greatest Bar

We’re tired
already of those vapid hacks on MTV’s I’m
From Rolling Stone — y’know, the rockwrite kids who’ve never heard of Roskilde, who don’t know who George
Clinton is, and who pepper their prose with phrases like “cherub-faced scenester.”
Joe Levy and that double-stuffed suit Jann Wenner can have ‘em.

For our
money (which, granted, there’s not a lot of) the best music-themed reality show
going airs a notch or two up the dial on VH-1. ego trip’s The (White)
Rapper Show is a funny, unpretentious blend of low-brow humor and serious
questions about race and rap. And its contestants, living together in the South
Bronx are more compelling and likeable — by far — than the wannabes dwelling in
midtown
corridors of power.

And of
course there’s our
boy Sullee, who, three episodes in, is doing as well as we ever could’ve
hoped — and not just because he managed Young Heff his way into the lower
bunk with Misfit (who was booted off the show at the end of episode two).

Just prior
to that sad turn of events, the Hingham
rhyme slinger was forced into an elimination challenge that asked him to freestyle
some verses poking fun at himself.

He killed
it. Removing a gold tooth for dramatic effect, he stepped forward and let
fly:

Sullee a
grown man, even though he act childish.Got a big
dick: three inches, that’s huge to
the IrishBallin’
chicks without a condom, just realized now that’s a problemGo to take
a shower, my dick starts dissolvin’Yo, I just
keep it realI slept
with Misfit for three nights ain’t even closed the deal!Anyway,
what can I sayI guess I
like it the raw waySomeday
I’ll learn my lesson, but that day is far like Rockaway

Last week,
however, was not so smooth. Our man’s team lost a Family Feud style game show about racial
stereotypes, and he was this compelled to do the winning team’s laundry
while the victors supped and sipped with Juelz
Santana.

Later that
night, it was down to the wire again. This time, facing elimination, he flubbed his verse (subject:
white power). There was an agonizing, lengthy silence as he wracked his brain
to find the words. To no avail.

Sage sachem
MC Serch informed Sullee that he
was a grave disappointment — precisely because his talent was so profound. As the
young Irishman hung his head, the word came down. For this week, at least, he
would be spared.

G-Child,
teary-eyed, was asked to hand over her scribbled-upon sneaks. Her fellow contestants wept with her.

So now a
new week and a new episode. And tonight Sullee’s namesake father, Bob
Sullivan, is hosting a viewing party at the Greatest Bar downtown.
In attendance, in addition to the man himself, will be past Sullee collaborators
Joe Budden
and Billy Squier. [Ed. note: Yes, our
crack research team confirms this is merely the second time in the history
of the English language that those names have ever appeared in the same
sentence.]

In a recent
interview with Sullee (after which our tape was eaten) he was sworn to secrecy
about how far he makes it on the show, and weather or not he’s sitting silently
on a cool hundred grand. Safe to assume, however, hey wouldn’t be making such a
big deal tonight if this was the episode he was told by Serch to step off.

But even
if/when the worst case comes to pass, Sullee’s still flossin’. He’s at work on
a new album and a few mix tapes, he still keeps in touch with his friends from
the show (including
Misfit), and word came down today from the elder Sullivan that his son will
soon be jetting off to the Far East to help judge the Miss Teen China contest.