Monday, May 6

the same thing we do every night

with all due respect to the bloggers that i love in an unhealthy way if i have to hear one more person say "cinco de drinko" and i'm going to punch a baby. so if you don't want that on your hands i would suggest refraining from using that terrible term. i'm not sure why it annoys me so much but just chalk it up to things that annoy me that just don't make sense. like having to turn down a grocery aisle when there is someone in the aisle already. don't make me do it. it annoys me.

i had every intention of being super-healthy-work-out-kid this weekend but all bets were off when the asian restaurant i work at was all "OH HEY - we're going to have a party after work tonight and make mexican food. oh and also vietnamese wings." and then i was all like "CURSE YOU DELICIOUS FOOD THAT I CAN'T DENY." so i stuffed my face with food and wine and then came home and took an irresponsible amount of shots with shitler's brother young christopher. and then a midst the drunkenness i took like a thousand ginstagram photos and forgot about it till the next day until i woke up and there were like a lot of people who had double-tapped the photos and i immediately regretted it and lamented about how my phone needs to be taken away from me when i'm making poor choices. p.s. if your name is sarah and you happen to be reading this then just skip the next photo collage because i know you don't want to re-see these.and if you don't follow me on ginstagram then you can do so by finding me @itgotweird

saturday i set up camp on the couch and hated my life and my poor decision making skills and my lack of ability to just quit while i'm ahead. i.e. not take those last like three shots because "DUH SHANNON you're already drunk." i contemplated going to the gym to try and sweat the son of a bitch hangover out but that just wasn't in the cards. so instead i skipped showering, headed to mcdonalds, and then went to work at the restaurant. smelly, i know. and then the restaurant was basically dead and i barely made any money. but then i did a good deed. because a co-worker needed a bra to wear that night and the only one i had was the one i was wearing. so i literally gave her the bra off my back. but then i found another one in my car so i gave her that one instead. and then one of the line cooks insisted on smelling my bra. and i was just too tired and hungover to protest so it happened and he said that my bra smells good. so at least there's that. and i wish i could say that's the story of my life but that would mean that a lot of people smell my bra on a regular basis and that's just not true.

sunday was glorious, because although there was a faint trace of a residual hangover, i felt like i could basically take over the world. and let's be serious. i'm the brain and shitler is pinky. a-duh.