Many clients of mine have busy lives. They think they don’t have time for what matters.

But, it is rarely the lack of time, but how time is used.

Especially if you are feeling overwhelmed, it’s easy to zone out – too much tv, talking on the phone, surfing the net. Instead of making decisions about what to do, it’s easier to float off into a mindless distraction.

How many times on extremely busy days do you end up fiddling away on email or Facebook? Or playing a silly computer game. Or going shopping when that could have waited.

That’s because when we start feeling overwhelmed, we try to get rid of the feeling through easy, zone out activities.

Of course, then you fall even further behind because you aren’t making conscious choices.

What a cycle!

So what is the solution? One thing you can do when you start feeling overwhelmed, is look at your to do list for the thing that would make the most impact on the day. And do it right straight away, blocking thoughts of other to do’s. Close other computer windows. Turn off email notification. Hide the to do list until you are done with that to do

Don’t have a to do list? Make one. Get that stuff out of your head. You will feel calmer immediately.

If you can’t even prioritize the first thing, close your eyes and point to a to do on your list. You will either get started on that to do, or when you look at the item a different to do comes in your head that is probably more important. Do that one instead.

I advocate breaks even on busy days. 5-10 minutes every 60-90 minutes depending on how you feel. Then you can play your silly game, walk around the building, read a magazine article. But, stay on track with a timer. Or you will be zoning out again.

If you have a hard time restarting after a break, it might be easier for you to stop in the middle of a project, not when you have completed something. A sticky note can remind you what to do when the break is over.

Much of your overwhelming feelings come from telling yourself you don’t have enough time, you are overworked and underappreciated, you are overwhelmed, or you don’t know where to start. These are all unproductive words to be saying and do nothing but get you stuck.

Next time you start to feel overwhelmed check out your thought process. Now ask a simple question – "what is the next right thing to do?" Sometimes you will get one great answer, sometimes you get a flood of answers. Just randomly pick one to get moving on.

If you are doing what needs to be done instead of your zoning out activities, at the end of the day you will have time to do what you want to do. Even if you claim you don’t have time at the end of the day, do something you want to do anyway. Your well being is more important than tackling every bit of laundry or having a spotless kitchen floor.

What activities do you tend to zone out with? What would you really like to be able to do?

This week I had lots of events and meetings with school starting, church activities beginning, a new group forming, etc. I almost never have something every day and this week I had more than one event a day.

So how does one deal with this type of week?

I start by never saying how busy I am. I don’t need to make myself feel any more overwhelmed.

Next, I cut down on all but basic home care and turn off personal projects for the week.

I make sure I continue my quiet time and exercise first thing in the morning and get to bed on time so I have enough energy for the week.

Meals are super simple – soup and grilled cheese, frozen pizza with a salad, etc. and planned the weekend before.

I answer only important or urgent email.

Less important things like reading blogs in my Google Reader, watching TV, and reading magazines are put aside until next week.

If I find myself with too many weeks like this, I know it’s time to cut back. But, we all have seasons or weeks in our lives like this. Next week – catch up time.

Wednesday was a warm, sunshiney day. Perfect day for the beach. Too bad school had already started. And too bad it was a weekday. After all I am a responsible person.

But, the beach kept calling to me all day. So at lunch I thought of how I could get there.

When the kids came home from school I let them know of the plan. If they do their checklists including chores and homework, without me having to remind them, then after dinner I would take them to the beach.

They did their homework right away after their snack. By our early dinner most of the chores were done, they just needed to do after dinner dishes and clean up. I made sure my work and chores were done as well. I didn’t have to remind the teens once.
So around 6:45pm we hopped in the car and were heading for the beach. We spent a lovely evening splashing, swimming and enjoying the most gorgeous sunset.

When I hear my heart calling, I am trying to nurture that when I can much more often than I used to. I really don’t want to be a dried up, irritable martyr.

Do you ever feel exhausted at the end of the day? Like you did so much, but nothing got done. You flit from thing to thing not completing any.

That scattered way of being, if we do it all the time, leads to less energy and a wearing away of feelings of self-worth.

Our lives have enough multi-tasking with interruptions,¬ 3 kids talking at once, and getting exercise in while watching our favorite shows. And often when we do two things at once, either one thing gets the focus or neither gets our focus.

At a recent conference I sat by someone checking her email and playing on the internet on her laptop during the speaking. At the end she confessed she didn’t hear a word of the talk. Have you ever been doing something and your kid comes up to talk to you. You nod and make ‘I’m listening’ noises, but in reality you didn’t hear anything they said?

The important things in your life need your full focused attention.¬ Doesn’t it make you feel great when you can tell someone is really listening to you?

My doctor is so great that even after we moved, we still travel to see him. What makes him great? He listens, asks questions and asks if you have any questions. Without acting like he is trying to get you out the door.

Being with another person, getting your writing to flow, mentoring someone, making music, working on a complicated and demanding work project all need that singular focus to get your best. If you find yourself never focusing, maybe you don’t have enough important things to you on your list. Or maybe you just need practice with focusing.

Here are a few practice tips:

Turn off all computer applications except the one you are working on

Put away all papers except the project you are working on

Practice really listening with full attention to at least one person a day

Even if most days when you watch TV you need to clip coupons, clean during the commercials or sew, try watching one movie on the weekend and really get into it

Eat at least one meal a day without a book, computer or TV

Drive one day without music or the radio

Cook using your senses and enjoy it

Sit and listen to one song without doing anything else

We can get into the habit of always doing more than one thing at a time. It feels slow and unproductive to be doing just one thing. You will unfocus, allowing in thoughts of all the other to do’s you have. Let them float away as you bring your focus back to what you are doing. Soon you will find your flow.

There is no way to have a simple life if everything has to be perfect.

The perfect pie takes a lot longer to make then the good enough pie. Finding the perfect outfit can lead you to 10 stores. There never seems to be enough time to finish the perfect project.

A simple life is a life pared down to what is essential for you to live happily without feeling overwhelmed. But, perfectionism steals that simple life when you require yourself to have your house, your figure, your work, your kids, your marriage, your car, etc. all running perfectly.

After spending a few years in graphic design, where every mistake can cost money once it is printed, I had to ease out of perfectionist mode. And the guilt of not doing something perfectly sometimes sneaks up on me. But, in order to have a simpler life I shoo away perfectionism whenever I can.

Ariane of Neat & Simple Living, has some great questions to ask yourself if you are conquering perfectionism:

My top tip on fighting perfectionism is to give myself a time limit. My office may not be perfect in 20 minutes, but it is a lot better than it was. And I still have time to play with the kids. If I give myself a time limit on research, then I may not come up with the absolute best solution for something, but it will be just fine.

Can you believe the year is half over? Are you where you want to be? Have you gotten as far as you wanted on your goals? Are you more of the person you want to be?

If you haven’t made much progress on your goals, maybe it is time to cut some goals out for the moment. Trying to be the perfect person, takes up more time than most people have. So just take one desire, one goal to focus your attention on.

I received a question this week on procrastination from someone taking the Procrastination Course that I think applies to many of us. How do we know if we are procrastinating or if it is a matter of our life becoming too full so we can’t finish everything?

You can tell if you are procrastinating several different ways:

– You procrastinate on the same tasks over and over. If I haven’t made a phone call yet that I had planned on making, chances are I’m procrastinating. I really don’t like calling for appointments, customer service, or knowing I will be put on hold. What always ends up on your list day after day before it gets done? You may have a block against doing a type of work.

– You fiddle around with it, but don’t accomplish anything. Moving papers from pile to pile is not taking action or making decisions. And you still have a pile of paper. Or when you get to the end of a project, you make tiny tweaks instead of finishing it because it might get judged.

– You get started, but are doing something else before you know it.¬ You end up straightening your desk, folding laundry or checking your email within 5 minutes. You may not like this task or feel you are under-qualified to do it.

– The task ends up on your to do list more than two months. Most tasks on your list that long can be handed off to someone else, or taken off the list. That to do hasn’t become important enough for you to complete.

– You plan to do it and never consciously make a decision not to do it.¬ It just happens. You don’t say, “This project is more important, the other task can wait until this time.” You have more control of your time than you think. You need to re-evaluate your plan throughout the day and make decisions, instead of doing what catches your attention most at this moment.

– You feel your energy drain every time you think of the task. Inside you know the task could have been done before now. This kind of task needs to be done as soon as you can so you can regain your energy. Grab an accountability partner and get going.

We may not always be able to get through all our to do’s, but keep making the decisions of what to do that will help you create the life you want. Don’t let procrastination keep your from your dreams and aspirations.

First of all, for me, being more productive isn’t to get more work done. It’s to get work done faster, so I have more time for the rest of my life. For the most part, I love what I do. But, as in any work, there is the boring, repetitive, administrative type duties. The faster I can get these done – the better.

So I like systems – ordered ways to do actions. Every time you have to think, “OK, what do I need to do next?” wastes time.

I have a daily checklist for home chores and work routines with what needs to be done every day so I can go, go, go and check, check, check. I like to get all my routine stuff done at once (usually at 10:00am and 4:00pm) so I am not doing busy work all day. And I have a weekly and monthly checklist to help me remember those less often tasks.

I have a checklist for sending out my newsletter. You would think it would really simple and it is. But, if you don’t do it in a certain order you end up backtracking and wasting time.

A checklist for my month end accounting helps keep me organized. It also has links for places online I need to get stats or accounting info right in the computer document.

I have the computer file folders I use most, right on my Task Bar so I don’t have to click my computer–> my documents–>docs–> encouragingcoach–> projects. One click and I am there.

My email processing system is taped under my monitor along with the times I check email. Mail processing is listed on my in box basket.

I love spending less time on routine things and more on fun projects, coaching and leisure time. So what are the things you need to do often? Can you experiment with finding the fastest way to do them? Then write your new systems down.