Being well liked is what most people want in relationships. The benefits are obvious. You will get the help you need at the time you need it. People will give you information about new opportunities you didn’t know before. Above all, they will really care and love you.

But how could you get other people to like you? How could you become a well liked person? There is actually just one simple rule to follow: you should like other people before they like you. When people realize that you like them, it’s very likely that they will also like you.

Regarding this, I believe that there is one and just one message you need to deliver in your relationships. Delivering this message is the key to strong relationships, and here it is:

You are important to me.

That’s it. No more, no less. Not “your money” nor “your knowledge”, but “you” – as a person – are important to me. Anything you should do in relationships stems from this message. There more you succeed in delivering this message, the more people will like you.

So here I’d like to share 33 tips on how to deliver this message in your relationships. Consequently, these are also tips to become a well liked person. Here they are:

Give your contacts a big smile when you meet them. Make them feel that you are really happy to meet them.

Give your full attention to the people you converse with as if nothing else is important.

When they ask for your attention, leave whatever you are doing.

When they call you, greet them with enthusiasm as if you are longing for their call.

Don’t make them wait.

Print the list of your contacts and look at it in your spare time. It will remind you of whom to touch base.

Always reply your contacts’ emails and text messages.

Reply their emails and text messages in the first chance you get.

Shake their hands with enthusiasm.

Praise them sincerely when they do something good. Make them feel that you are proud of them.

Always return their calls.

Send a message to them on their birthdays. Even better, call them.

Drop your old contacts quick emails or text messages to ask how they are doing.

Remember their names and achievements.

Remember important facts about them, especially the things they really care about (you may want to write them down).

Introduce them to the people in your contact who may help them out.

Actively find the deepest needs they may have (without waiting for them to explicitly tell you).

Take initiative to give them the solutions they need.

Give thanks for them in your session of gratitude.

Mention their names in your prayer.

Talk with them about their life.

Ask them specific questions about things they care about. They will realize that you care enough to remember their facts.

Give them something precious you have. Time is a good candidate.

Go eat with them. Even better, treat them.

When you meet them, don’t look at your watch as if you have something more important to do.

When you talk to them, don’t look over their shoulder as if you are looking for someone more important to talk to.

Send the quick tips or articles you just found which may benefit them.

Message them encouraging words or quotes.

Lend them the best books or DVDs you have.

Talk to them about how you like your other friends. They will think that you may talk the same way about them.

Don’t talk negatively to them about how you don’t like your other friends. They will think that you may also talk the same way about them.

Occasionally mention their names in your conversation with them.

Be creative to give them small surprises every now and then.

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Please use your real name and note that I reserve the right to delete inappropriate comments.

http://dezigndevil t3rry

Isn’t it interesting that these are things we automatically do for people we really do like?
After reading this I easily concluded that some people had used these techniques on me to get what they wanted and afterwards just forgot me and moved on to their next victim. A sincerity meter needs to be included with this.
I would rather have one real friend than 1000 pretend friends, remembering of course that we have limited time and energy in our day. If a person is sincere, I will like them and be their friend regardless of whether I condone their actions.
Helping a dear friend “hide the bodies” would be more satisfying than holidaying with someone who is just using me as a popularity meter, or as personal entertainment so they don’t have to feel alone. I’ve no wish to be anyone’s personal ornament, nor do I want to do that to another person.
Your “to do” list reads like what evolves naturally when commitment is there.
If you use this list, or not … be sincere.
In business, the list reads like a charm and could easily have been written by Dale Carnegie himself.
(see: Dale Carnegie, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”)
cha
t3rry

http://www.moltenmarketing.com Theresa Cahill

Hi Donald!

I came across your blog in the course of some research and you grabbed my attention.

I felt sure by the time I got to the end of your list I’d be able to say, “Hey you forgot this one… or that one!” But your list is extremely comprehensive and worth memorizing!

Hi Donald! :0)
Stumbled accross your blog and was totaly refressed by its content and your liist is great.
I beleive life is all about honesty,being yourself and making friends….do this naturally and your life will be very fullfilling.
I love getting to know people from all walks of life and developing lasting friendships.
Currently I am getting to know someone very close to me….MYSELF….I am a big beleiver in self development and my journey in life is to become the best person I can be and that means getting to know myself and smoothing some of those rough edges which have built up over time.
Have a fantastic day my friend
Adrian

noga

Hi,
I totally agree with you , if we always true with our self , however, enjoy with our self , it is really not easy but help alots to understand the others as well.

having friends , work , money , health , dreams all about how you see your self , if you are nice with your self and really respect it so you will see others in same way .

t3rry:
I completely agree with you. Sincerity is a very important ingredient of any strong relationships. Without being sincere, there is no way we can effectively use these tips. That’s why it is “you” – not “your money” nor “your knowledge” nor “anything else you have” – which should be our focus and motivation.

Theresa:
Thanks, Theresa! I know that there are many things I potentially missed and didn’t include in the list. So I think it’s the message (“You are important to me”) which should be remembered first and foremost.

Adrian:
That’s a very interesting thought, Adrian. Knowing ourselves is indeed a very important thing to do if we are to build strong relationships with others. Strong relationship with “myself” is the first relationship to build.

Yet, after reading this, I was left with a feeling I could not shake. I have, for several times in my life in fact, applied these strategies to other people. Being interested in their life, giving them a call to see how they were doing, etc.

Then after a while I realized the relationship was all about what I could give to them this way. That became apparent when I had to have major surgery, I told someone who I really considered to be a close friend, and he wrote me: “Oh that will pass in no time. Meanwhile listen to this, I have this and this problem.”

I never responded to that mail, and what I considered to be a long lasting friendship just stopped after that. He never contacted me again…

So what I mean to say is this: be a giver, but don’t forget yourself in the process.

http://www.lifeoptimizer.org Donald Latumahina

Tamlyn,
Thanks for the insights! I’m glad you share some of your personal experiences. You remind us about the importance of keeping the balance between our interest and other people’s interest.

Many people think more about their own interest, and the role of this post is to get the balance back by asking us to also think about others’ interest. But we can go to the other extreme in which we think about others’ interest at the expense of ours, just as you described. The key is keeping the balance between both of them.

Gina

WOW thanks for your help! This really is the best advice i’ve ever gotton that was so on target to the question! it helped alot!!

But i m not agree with this feature… because “don’t ever try to please everybody” here u clearly mentioned that please everybody with ur efforts. If we are trying to please everyone,this indicates that “There is some fault in our attitude so that no one can attracts toward us”…. Pls suggest….

Thanks
Vipin

http://www.lifeoptimizer.org Donald Latumahina

Vipin,
No, I don’t suggest you to please everybody. That, as Bill Cosby once said, is a sure path to failure. What I suggest is to increase your likability. Some people will still don’t like you and that’s fine. But you build the intrinsic qualities that make many people naturally like you.

http://doctor-appliance.com MefFiefsedide

There is a lot of talikng about Michael Jackson dead, it’s a very sad for me because I lvoe his music, I still didn’t believe in his dead. Hi was a definitely King of music

http://www.impulsitivity.webs.com Nurani

This helped me a lot. Thank you, to the authors who wrote this!

http://nil Ndimele kingsley

No man can please all men; notwithstanding, making one smile is very pertinent in life because what you give is what you get. with this article and more it is attainable, for the JESUS said be ye perfect as your Heavenly master is perfect. Thanks for making me smile.

Shay

I’m just reading through the archives as there are many great articles. I can see no one’s been here in quite a while, but I’m going to post here anyways.

I can sum this whole article up quickly. Be a dog. Dogs greet people with genuine excitement. Wag your tail and don’t notice anything else but this amazing person standing in front of you. Show this person they are the greatest person on the planet. People will like you back.

People won’t remember what you said.
They won’t remember what you did.
But they will remember how you made them feel.

http://www.FunniestVideosOnline.com Michael

Good list. For me I just talk in a calm manored voice, smile and make eye contact.

Liam

This is poor advice. if you wish to have a select few very exclusive friends who “get you intimately” this is great advice. But if you want mass appeal, you must water down every aspect of your image, and quit doing things that make you unpopular immediately. In Western World, people are attracted to those who have an undeniable exaggerated self confidence and esteem. Popular individuals go out of their way to create awkward social tension rather than conform to norms, they don’t answer questions directly or honestly, they always appear lazy and undisciplined, and they aren’t nice or kind. They are fundamentally bad, but bad behaviour is rewarded with popularity and the attraction of people to you.