Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits

In a prosperous yet gruesomely violent near future, superhero vigilantes battle thugs whose heads are full of supervillain fantasies. The peace is kept by a team of smooth, well-dressed negotiators called The Men in Fancy Suits. Meanwhile a young girl is caught in the middle and thinks the whole thing is ridiculous. Zoey, a recent college graduate with a worthless degree, makes a reluctant trip into the city after hearing that her estranged con artist father died in a mysterious yet spectacular way.

Origins of a D-List Supervillain

Even D-list supervillains have to start somewhere. Follow Cal Stringel's misadventures as he climbs to the lowest levels of supervillany in the prequel to the smash hit, Confessions of a D-List Supervillain. Angry that he wouldn't be known as the engineer who made Ultraweapon's force blasters, Cal resigns to chase after a bigger, better paycheck. However, the Promethia Corporation isn't going to let him go that easily and sets out to make his life a living hell.

The Automatic Detective

Even in Empire City, a town where weird science is the hope for tomorrow, it's hard for a robot to make his way. It's even harder for a robot named Mack Megaton, a hulking machine designed to bring mankind to its knees. But Mack's not interested in world domination. He's just a bot trying to get by, trying to demonstrate that he isn't just an automated smashing machine, and to earn his citizenship in the process. It should be as easy as crushing a tank for Mack, but some bots just cant catch a break.

Helen & Troy's Epic Road Quest

Witness the epic battle of the cyclops! Visit the endangered dragon preserve! Please, no slaying. Solve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage, if you dare! Buy some knickknacks from The Fates! They might come in handy later. On a road trip across an enchanted America, Helen and Troy will discover all this and more. If the curse placed upon them by an ancient god doesn't kill them or the pack of reluctant orc assassins don't catch up to them, Helen and Troy might reach the end their journey in one piece, where they might just end up destroying the world.

Gil's All Fright Diner

Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley.But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg.

Too Many Curses

The wizard Margle the Horrendous takes special pride in never killing his enemies. Instead, he transforms them into various accursed forms and locks them away in his castle. It's Nessy's duty to tend this castle. Its a lot of work, but she manages, taking pride in housekeeping talents that keep the castle from collapsing into chaos. But when Margle suddenly dies, everything begins to unravel.

Divine Misfortune

Teri and Phil had never needed their own personal god. But when Phil is passed up for a promotion - again - it's time to take matters into their own hands. And look online. Choosing a god isn't as simple as you would think. There are too many choices; and they often have very hefty prices for their eternal devotion: blood, money, sacrifices, and vows of chastity. But then they find Luka, raccoon god of prosperity. All he wants is a small cut of their good fortune. Oh - and to crash on their couch for a few days.

Monster: A Novel

Meet Monster. Meet Judy. Two humans who don't like each other much, but together must fight dragons, fire-breathing felines, trolls, Inuit walrus dogs, and a crazy cat lady - for the future of the universe.

We Are Legion (We Are Bob): Bobiverse, Book 1

Bob Johansson has just sold his software company and is looking forward to a life of leisure. There are places to go, books to read, and movies to watch. So it's a little unfair when he gets himself killed crossing the street. Bob wakes up a century later to find that corpsicles have been declared to be without rights, and he is now the property of the state. He has been uploaded into computer hardware and is slated to be the controlling AI in an interstellar probe looking for habitable planets.

Will Save the Galaxy for Food

Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of Quantum Teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue. Between space pirates, adorable deadly creatures, and a missing fortune in royalties, saving the universe was never this difficult!

Origin: A Technothriller

When linguist Andrew Dennison is yanked from his bed by the Secret Service and taken to a top secret facility in the desert, he has no idea he's been brought there to translate the words of an ancient demon. He joins pretty but cold veterinarian Sun Jones, eccentric molecular biologist Dr. Frank Belgium, and a hodge-podge of religious, military, and science personnel to try and figure out if the creature is, indeed, Satan. But things quickly go bad, and very soon Andy isn't just fighting for his life, but the lives of everyone on earth…

An Unattractive Vampire

After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good.

NPCs

What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.

Dungeon Born: Divine Dungeon Series, Book 1

For eons, conquering dungeons has been the most efficient way to become a strong adventurer. Although not everything is as straightforward as it seems. Several questions have always plagued the minds of those who enter these mythical places of power: why are there so many monsters? Where do the amazing weaponry and heavy gold coins come from? Why does the very air fill with life-giving energies? Cal has all of the answers to these age-old questions, for a very simple reason. He is a Dungeon Heart.

The Last Adventure of Constance Verity

Constance Verity has been saving the world since she was seven, and she's sick of it. She sets off on one last adventure to reset her destiny and become the one thing she's never been: ordinary. Ever since she was granted a wish at birth by her fairy godmother, Constance Verity has become the world's great adventurer. She is a master of martial arts and a keen detective and possesses a collection of strange artifacts. Constance has spent the past 28 years saving the world, and she's tired of it.

Replay

In 1988, 43-year-old Jeff Winston died of a heart attack. But then he awoke, and it was 1963; Jeff was 18 all over again, his memory of the next two decades intact. This time around, Jeff would gain all the power and wealth he never had before. This time around he'd know how to do it right. Until next time.

What the Hell Did I Just Read: A Novel of Cosmic Horror

While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John, and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth they - like you - would be better off not knowing.

Chasing the Moon

Diana's life was in a rut - she hated her job, she was perpetually single, and she needed a place to live. But then the perfect apartment came along. It seemed too good to be true - because it was. As it turns out, the apartment was already inhabited - by monsters.

Way Station

In this Hugo Award-winning classic, Enoch Wallace is an ageless hermit, striding across his untended farm as he had done for over a century, still carrying the gun with which he had served in the Civil War. But what his neighbors must never know is that, inside his unchanging house, he meets with a host of unimaginable friends from the farthest stars.

The Collapsing Empire: The Interdependency, Book 1

Our universe is ruled by physics, and faster-than-light travel is not possible - until the discovery of The Flow, an extradimensional field we can access at certain points in space-time that transports us to other worlds, around other stars. Humanity flows away from Earth, into space, and in time forgets our home world and creates a new empire, the Interdependency, whose ethos requires that no one human outpost can survive without the others. It's a hedge against interstellar war - and a system of control for the rulers of the empire.

The Long Way Down: Daniel Faust, Book 1

Nobody knows the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas like Daniel Faust, a sorcerer for hire and ex-gangster who uses black magic and bullets to solve his clients' problems. When an old man comes seeking vengeance for his murdered granddaughter, what looks like a simple job quickly spirals out of control. Soon Daniel stands in the crossfire between a murderous porn director; a corrupt cop with a quick trigger finger; and his own former employer, a racket boss who isn't entirely human.

Orconomics: A Satire: The Dark Profit Saga, Book 1

Professional heroes kill and loot deadly monsters every day, but Gorm Ingerson's latest quest will be anything but business as usual. The adventuring industry drives the economy of Arth, a world much like our own but with more magic and fewer vowels. Monsters' hoards are claimed, bought by corporate interests, and sold off to plunder funds long before the Heroes' Guild actually kills the beasts. Of course, that's a terrible arrangement for the Shadowkin; orcs, goblins, kobolds, and their ilk must apply for to become Noncombatant Paper Carriers to avoid being killed and looted by heroes.

The Spaceship Next Door

When a spaceship landed in an open field in the quiet mill town of Sorrow Falls, Massachusetts, everyone realized humankind was not alone in the universe. With that realization everyone freaked out for a little while. Or almost everyone. The residents of Sorrow Falls took the news pretty well. This could have been due to a certain local quality of unflappability, or it could have been that in three years the ship did exactly nothing other than sit quietly in that field, and nobody understood the full extent of this nothing the ship was doing better than the people who lived right next door.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet: Wayfarers 1

Firefly meets Mass Effect in this thrilling self-published debut! When Rosemary Harper joins the crew of the Wayfarer, she isn't expecting much. The Wayfarer, a patched-up ship that's seen better days, offers her everything she could possibly want: a small, quiet spot to call home for a while, adventure in far-off corners of the galaxy, and distance from her troubled past. But Rosemary gets more than she bargained for with the Wayfarer.

Publisher's Summary

Emperor Mollusk. Intergalactic Menace. Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of Other Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth. Not bad for a guy without a spine. But what's a villain to do after he's done... everything.

With no new ambitions, he's happy to pitch in and solve the energy crisis or repel aliens invaders should the need arise, but if he had his way, he'd prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of dangerous science. Just as a hobby, of course. Retirement isn't easy though. If the boredom doesn't get him, there's always the Venusians. Or the Saturnites. Or the Mercurials. Or... well, you get the idea. If that wasn't bad enough, there's also the assassins of a legendary death cult and an up-and-coming megalomaniac (as brilliant as he is bodiless) who have marked Emperor for their own nefarious purposes.

But Mollusk isn't about to let the Earth slip out of his own tentacles and into the less capable clutches of another. So it's time to dust off the old death ray and come out of retirement. Except this time, he's not out to rule the world. He's out to save it from the peril of the Sinister Brain!

Everyone knows that that the invertebrates of Neptune are the most intelligent minds in the galaxy. That’s how, years ago, a bored mollusk from Neptune was able to conquer the Earth and set himself up as Warlord. To subdue the planet he had to use a few nasty tricks such as doping the water supply with anti-aggression drugs, but now that he has all of humanity under his tentacle, Emperor Mollusk is actually a pretty swell guy and he has even developed a soft spot (or should I say “softer spot”) for planet Earth, though he’ll be quick to tell you that he’s not reformed — just retired. Nowadays, he spends most of his time tinkering in his laboratory and coming up with ways to solve Earth’s numerous problems. He fixed the energy crisis long ago and so far he’s been able to protect Earth from aliens from Mars, Venus, and Saturn. Pretty good for a slimy cephalopod that you could easily squash under the heel of your boot.

Unfortunately, most of Emperor Mollusk’s experiments on Earth tend to cause unexpected and dastardly consequences, and the emperor usually ends up needing to develop even more brilliant solutions to the problems he created. Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain is an account of the Emperor’s various adventures as he attempts to save humans from all the disasters that would not have befallen them if the Emperor had never set his slippery tentacle on the planet in the first place. Disasters such as an island of radioactive dinosaurs, giant fireants, missing countries, an anti-time radio, and the rampaging brain of Madam Curie. He even has to deal with assassins from Atlantis, killer scorpions, a clone of himself, and the sinister brain who wants to challenge him for world domination.

Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain, A. Lee Martinez’s newest novel, is a hilariously wacky story with a preposterous premise, impossible characters, and an absurd plot. I’m rather picky about humorous fantasy so I’m surprised that I enjoyed the non-stop comedy here, but Martinez has his pacing down and he knows exactly when to stop. I like Martinez’s bizarre situations and droll sense of humor, and he balances all of it with a well-developed protagonist who we can’t help but love, even though he’s slimy (literally) and he keeps telling us he’s an evil overlord.

Fans of Douglas Adams’ THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY shouldn’t miss Emperor Mollusk Versus the Sinister Brain. Let me highly recommend the audio version produced by Audible Frontiers and performed by actor Scott Aiello. This was the first time I’d heard Mr. Aiello (he is a new narrator) and I was extremely impressed with his performance — he made the novel even funnier. He was absolutely perfect for this role and I look forward to hearing more from him in the future.

APOLOGIZING FOR CONDESCENSION IS USUALLY CONDESCENSION ITSELF.Almost every planet and moon in the solar system has intelligent life. About the only planets not mentioned where Mercury and Uranus. We also have people from Atlantis, the Bermuda Triangle, Mole People, Dinosaur Island, etc...

This is a light fun listen. It is smartly written. It is amazing all the characters and places, Martinez is able to squeeze into it. It is not LOL, but mostly a feel good smile type of book.

I liked it, but did not love it like I have Christopher Moore or John Scalzi.

The narrator did an amazing job. He did several characters, all done well. He understood the material and portrayed it just as the author should have wanted.

I wrote a remarkably similar review for one of this author's other novels, but the same holds true here...

If you like Neil Gaiman, Douglas Adams, Robert Asprin, Christopher Moore or Terry Pratchett, then this is a mug of ale or glass of wine from the same brewery my friend. Some good ol' light-hearted fun.

This is a delightfully funny tale about a former super villain and super genius, Emperor Mollusk, who is so incredibly brilliant, he becomes bored and creates dooms day inventions that he then must save the earth from. Very entertaining. Great narration. The story wandered a little but still delivered a great listen.

"Emperor Mollusk" is a typical A. Lee Martinez lighthearted comedy performed brilliantly. I understand this was Scott Aiello's rookie outing on Audible. And he made the book for me-- and I'm a tough critic of faux British accents (as much as an American who grew up listening to Monty Python and lived in England can claim to be). He nailed it.

I love a good story no matter what kind it is, and to me a good story is more that just good grammar, tight structure, colorful characters, or intricate plots. A good story makes a reader care about it.

I always enjoy a story told from the viewpoint of an egotistical villainous super-genius. The tone is refreshingly free of angst and worry; just cold, calculated, clever, and often overly polite, dialogue. Emperor Mollusk is just so damn intelligent - and he knows it - and yet relate-able, I could not help listening to the entire book with a smirk or a chuckle just waiting to come out. That is a credit to A Lee Martinez; straddling the line between likable and dastardly can be tricky.

Perhaps much of my enjoyment from this book is delivered by Scott Aiello and his masterful performance. His range of voices is rather large and none of them sounded forced or out of place. And he absolutely nailed Mollusk. I felt I could actually hear the facial expressions through his performance - which is kind of ironic given the character himself states that his species' features are notoriously difficult to read.

The story itself was good, well told, and enjoyable. It wasn't particularly original, though, so I took some points off. I thought it was interesting that, despite the fact the story takes place on Earth (known as Terra in this book), there was almost a complete lack of human characters in it. There were Neptunians, Venusians, giant robots of all sizes, pterodactyls with lazer-vision, and a rather adorable cybernetically enhanced, giant killer-centipede and all of them were well-crafted by the author. So, while I do feel like this was a rather simplistic adventure, hopping from one sinister death trap to the next, I think that is exactly what the author intended it to be. It is what it is, and the author embraced every bit of it.

This was a funny, enjoyable, worthwhile listen and I would recommend it to anyone who likes Sci-fi.

This audiobook is, quite simply, a ton of fun! I can hardly imagine actually reading it - that is just how strong of a performance Scott Aiello, the narrator, gives! Like Martinez’s other novels, this is a rather mad-cap adventure full of hilarity, witty humour and some quite likable - not to mention unforgettable - characters. The novel is set primarily on Earth (or Terra as it is referred to here) and seems inspired by 1950s-60s type space dramas. The titular character, Emperor Mollusk, hails from Neptune (though they don’t care for him much back there). Mollusk has conquered Terra (without a single gunshot fired!), but has retired from the world-conquering business after some recent unpleasantness with Saturn.

When a Venutian warrior with a grudge attempts to take Mollusk under protective custody (to later try him for his crimes committed on Venus), she ends up falling in with Mollusk and his faithful ultra-pede (a centipede from Hell) as they track down the assassination plot to its perpetrator. Their adventures range from Atlantis, a Lost World type island in the Bermuda triangle, a visit to the moon and some epic battles with the radioactive brain of Madame Curie. The tale is filled with adventure, excitement and plenty of laughs.

The performance, though, really sets the book apart. The voices Aiello creates for each character are wonderful and quite distinct. He makes Mollusk sound like a cross between the Dread Pirate Roberts and Stewie Griffin. The Brain also sounds quite like Vizzini and there are many other convincing and entertaining voices throughout. Not only will I continue to follow Martinez’s work, but I will definitely be keeping an eye out for this very talented narrator as well!

Listening to Scott Aiello was such a treat. He brought so much fun and comedy to this novel just by how he read it. He was absolutely brilliant in his delivery!

Any additional comments?

This story is cute and somewhat interesting but the star of the show is the narration. Scott Aiello more than makes up for the weaknesses of the storyline and I highly recommend listening to it just to hear his interpretation of the characters. He had me laughing out loud.

If you get this book and like it then try "Confessions of a D List Supervillain" 1st and then get "Soon I Will Be Invincible". Try them because I loved them just like this book. We need more books like these. These stories are just FUN!! that's the best way to describe it.....they may not win some snooty literary award but they will put a big fat smile on your face.

Although there were occasional flaws in the performance and story, the overall effect of this wonderful combination of author and narrator was something I had to finish in three big gulps. Genuinely laugh-out-loud funny in many places, stylish, creative, absurd and ridiculous in equal measures. I was honestly down in the dumps when I realised I'd finished it so quickly. With elements that reminded me of Adams and Rankin, this was a great find. I'm off to seek out more.

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Mr. M. Edwards

Wales

5/19/15

Overall

Performance

Story

"Very funny tall tale."

So, here we have a fantastic combination of Megamind and Dispicable Me. It's a funny romp through the solar system with a lot of heart and great set pieces. The characters are all the right side of silly, and the plot wraps up nicely. Another good book from the author of Monster.

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Phil

Bury St Edmunds, United Kingdom

5/9/12

Overall

"Great book, well read."

I took a chance on this based on the sample, not having read anything by Martinez before, and came away impressed. It's a very fun book, quite unusual, and with a great lead character.

0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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