Integrity is defined as “a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one’s actions.

Let me call out the keywords in this definition that are often missed: consistency, honesty, truthfulness, and accuracy of one’s actions.

Consistency is about being the same regardless of the environment you are in or the situation. For example, do you know of men whose mood and behavior changes like the wind? Men who turn their chivalry and positive words to women off and on like a switch?

This would be an example of inconsistency of actions and outcomes. They do what they do because it brings them personal benefit or they seek something — not because it’s the right thing to do.

Honesty or accuracy of one’s actions requires intentionality and thought. How honest or accurate are your behaviors, actions, and words with other people that you interact with? Remember, wrong is wrong – no matter how many people are doing something it’s still wrong. Right is right, even if you are the only one doing it.

Integrity means following your moral or ethical convictions, and doing the right thing in all circumstances even if no one is watching you. Having integrity means you are true to yourself and would do nothing that demeans or dishonors you or others.

If you say one thing but do another, others will perceive a lack of authenticity, integrity and honesty. If you say you are “a good black man” but you get defensive and say vile things when your views are challenged; or you have no problem publicly berating and verbally abusing women or anyone you think is “less” than you, there’s a problem with your integrity.

There are so many people and outside influences that will test your ethics, morals and belief in yourself. Those of you easily influenced by the crowd will it challenging to stick to your convictions and stay on the path you are supposed to be on.

If someone asks you to do something, you know wrong is wrong – legally, morally or spiritually, what decision did you make? Did you do the right thing and maintain your integrity, or did you do wrong because it was easier, fun, you wanted to be part of the group, you wanted to be liked, you wanted attention (even if negative), you wanted the approval of those who were actually trying to lead you astray?

Relationship and dating advice columnist of Ask HeartBeat! Has enjoyed dishing out insightful yet hilariously funny advice, tersely worded reality checks and "let me slap you upside the head" wake up calls to men and women around the globe since 1991.

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Relationship and dating advice columnist of Ask HeartBeat! Has enjoyed dishing out insightful yet hilariously funny advice, tersely worded reality checks and "let me slap you upside the head" wake up calls to men and women around the globe since 1991.