Useni has always
believed that kidnapping, armed robbery hostage-taking, ransom demands, and
other social problems are exclusive headaches of the rich; not until Agama
convinced him otherwise. “You can’ look for money inside house of a man who no
get cent.” Useni once told Agama. The dialogue continues:

AGAMA: I am not sure I understand what you mean

USENI: You see, sometimes, me, I happy I poor…

AGAMA: You are happy you are poor? Has you brain engine gone to Aleppo to
fight ISS? Why should anyone be happy being poor? Anyway, I don’t blame you.
You have big problems because you are suffering from poverty meningococcus

USENI: Which one is coconut or cococus again? Me, problem? How I get problem
when I never know how rich – rich or money taste? Only rich people, who have or
see en touch money know how bad it feel when you don’ have money.

AGAMA: Don’t worry, just wait till al shabaab hear you, I guess you will be
happy to learn from them that they don’t discriminate

USENI: Whot concern poor man like me with money headache? If you never see
money before, how you know how bad it is for rich man to become suddenly poor?
As a poor man, I don’ worry to build big villa or whether I get de best car at
Kata Kata Village. Dat one is rich man headache. I am in poverty school; no
leave, no transfer.

AGAMA: No leave, no transfer, indeed!
Since when have you become a philosopher, Useni? Your arguments make me start
thinking deeply

USENI: Oh, so not only beer en woman make you think deep?

AGAMA: (angry) Useni, let the sleeping beer lie!

USENI: Anyway, some people think poor people suffer always. Dat one not true!

USENI: Total! Hahaha! You know anybody
who steal from poor? What will dey steal? You only steal something if there is
something to steal. Or you call dat one philosophyment again?

AGAMA: Have you ever heard about the
modern priests?

USENI: (Looks at Agama steadily like an
artist’s impression. Faints)

AGAMA:After using a fan unsuccessfully to reanimate Useni, Agama has just called an ambulance team for assistance. , Their attempts are in fact, fruitless, so they have equally contacted the fire brigade for help, insisting, however, they come with one tanker of cold water.