Tuesday, November 22, 2005

So this afternoon I was walking down 2nd ave near 81st street...I was soooo happy it stopped raining for like 10 seconds, and i was just kind of looking around. I walked about one block down and decided to get in a cab. As I'm half way into the taxi this guy comes up behind me and says, "I saw you from inside my store and I just knew i had to meet you." I was like, "what?" He kept going with, "I just want to have a drink with you...please can I have your phone number or here, take mine." And the only thing I could say was, "Sorry, but I'm in love."

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

A couple weeks ago at a fabulous birthday dinner at Asia de Cuba I made a statement saying that maybe fabulash isn't the best mascara out there because when I ran out I started dipping the fabulash brush into my benefit bad lash mascara and it was wonderful. Well, I finally got my ass to CVS and purchased a new tube of fabulash and well...NOTHING COMPARES!!!! It's hands down the BEST mascara on the market! I'm so sorry I ever said anything bad and that I cheated on such a loyal and true product:)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Did anyone see this week's episode of Nip/tuck? If you did, you know what I'm about to say... oh yes, they developed a face cream that prevents aging by incorporating CUM into the cream...oh wait, no that's right, the ENTIRE cream is composed of CUM along with a splash of lavendar to give it a more feminine feel...RRRRRrrrrright...because that's going to do it for me...oh honey, could you wait a second before you spluge on my face i need to appy a little lavendar to make me feel better about it.... OK NO! I'm sure the guys over at Nip/Tuck are loving this right now, along with every man across the world. Here's a show that actually encourages men to cum on their wives, girlfriends, or one night stand's faces!!!! How is it that men can make a quick $50 jacking off into a cup and now turn around and sell it for more than double that as freakin face cream!!!! once again, I'm speachless...

I think women should start bottling breast milk and selling to men with a statement that it boosts your sex drive and penis size. Watch those suckers drink that shit...maybe add a little beer flavor...

So over the past couple weeks I've noticed that some of my peripheral friends have become, let's say, grouchy... Not grumpy where in the offending party simply states, "yo I'm in a bad mood," but more like creates such a tense environment that all you want to do is run away. What can you do for these people? I'm at a total loss, because this kind of behavior is completely unacceptable to me. I would NEVER just be grumpy for the sake of being so and then make my friend feel bad for living. How can these people allow themselves to treat others this way! for example, the other night i was talking to a friend about men...what else is new right? Anyway, this friend is ready for a boyfriend but is having some difficulty finding one in the city. So she starts asking me about the great guy I'm dating and then as soon as i finish she prompts me to ask her, "so how are you doing?" To this she responds, "not good." I'm thinking, shit what's wrong? what happened? So I tell her everything will be ok and that I'm sorry. to this she responds with, "wrong answer." UHMMM WHAT!!!!!!! ??? what does that mean? What do you say to that? I was so irritated I hung up! it was like I was set up in the conversation to feel bad about the fact that things are good in my life.

Anyway, any words of wisdom concerning this fall grump that some seem to be in, would be much appreciated. I'm at a total loss...

Monday, November 07, 2005

An extremely narrow point of view, where much treasured girlfriends are momentarily out of the line of sight due to new or longstanding relationship with a man.

A condition that, after a break-up or brush off from significant other, may cause severe loneliness, isolation and/or detachment from past friendships.

OK, I admit, we’ve all fallen victim to this once…and hopefully learned from it and know never to do it again. So, if you’re someone that currently finds themselves at the mercy of this plight, just a “friendly reminder” to start taking a look at your balancing skills.

I hate to quote grandma’s old needlepoint sampler on this, but it still rings true…

Yes, I feel guilty, but can you blame me? It’s been 70 degrees and sunny… in November. I haven’t even done “the changing of the cloth” yet. My winter clothes are still packed neatly and stored, while by cute skirts and tops are enjoying hanging on the hanger well past their time. Global warming has certainly showed us what happens when we ignore our precious resources. With all the hurricanes, tornadoes, and summer weather we should wake up to what’s happening to our environment. I should be wearing a scarf, but just this one time, I’m going to have a guilt-ridden rave and say, I secretly love it. Now stop reading this, go outside for a run and then change into a cute outfit. Tomorrow, I’ll be back to my environmentally friendly self.