Everyday gaming phrases that mean something very different to non-gamers

Mention an escort mission, and they'll think you're a dirty perv

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Welcome to the warp zone

However open and accessible gaming becomes over the next generation, there will always be a division of it fenced off for the hardcore. Because simply, there are certain things that the casual and less well educated gamer will never understand. Having immersed ourselves in this medium for 30 years or so now, the gaming community has a language and lexicology completely alien to normal people. I'm not even talking about our garbled tech-talk regarding the optimisation of sub-pixel quadra-poly phase mapping.

No, much more confusing is the way in which we give perfectly normal words and phrases a completely different meaning. I'm talking about occurrences like the way I once confused my girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend, unrelated) by talking about energy bars, which she took to mean an edible cereal snack. And it's not just energy bars. It's those, and 30 more modes of verbal confoundment. And probably more than that, as we continue to expand this glossary of confusion.

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Splash damage

Gamers know it refers to: The process by which kinetic energy dispersed on the peripery of an explosion causes knock-on damage to player characters or NPCs not caught in the epicentre.

Non-gamers think it means: When you leave a wet cup on the worktop for too long and it leaves a stain.

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Deathmatch

Gamers know it refers to: The most basic, standard model for competetive multiplayer gameplay in a first or third-person shooter.

Non-gamers think it means: The point of origin in a lethal house fire, as identified by a trained forensic investigator.

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Cover system

Gamers know it refers to: A gameplay mechanic which allows the player character to lock position close to level architecture in order to shelter from enemy gunfire and explosives.

Non-gamers think it means: A tarpaulin.

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Game mechanic

Gamers know it refers to: A core gameplay system or control input inherent to the workings of a particular video game.

God mode

Gamers know it refers to: A cheat or debug status which allows the player character to become invincible.

Non-gamers think it means: The state of a person who has recently discovered religion. eg. "Jeff used to swear like a navvy until he went into God mode"

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Graphic adventure

Gamers know it refers to: A puzzle-driven narrative game, usually utilising a text-input or point-and-click interface.

Non-gamers think it means: An unexpected sexy weekend.

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Hit point

Gamers know it refers to: The units used to measure a player character's relative state of health or vitality.

Non-gamers think it means: The point of impact in a bludgeoning murder, as identified by a trained forensic investigator.

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Ludonarrative

Gamers know it refers to: The elements of video game storytelling that are controlled or generated by the player's actions, contrasting with the concrete storytelling aspects that are prescribed by the developers.

Non-gamers think it means: The sub-plots of the film Labyrinth which relate to the benevolent ogre, Ludo.

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Energy bar

Gamers know it refers to: A graphical indicator of the in-game avatars current state of health, shielding or other analogue for general vitality.

Non-gamers think it means: A consumable snack comprising cereal and other high-energy foods.

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Bloom lighting

Gamers know it refers to: A high dynamic range lighting effect whereby a soft glow emanates from a brightly lit object, affecting the objects and characters around it.

Non-gamers think it means: Hydroponic lighting kits. Like the ones commonly used to grow marijuana.

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Clipping error

Gamers know it refers to: An in-game glitch which results in erroneous collision detection between two objects, perhaps causing a character to walk through a wall or fall through a platform.

Non-gamers think it means: A bad haircut.

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Head-shot

Gamers know it refers to: A shot fired from an in-game gun or other projectile weapon which precisely strikes the cranium of an enemy or opposing player, more often than not resulting in an instant kill.

Non-gamers think it means: Those cheesy close-up photos that actors have in their resumes, that usually turn up alongside a load of low-profile TV soap credits in order to make them look all moody and serious in the programme for a panto.

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Spawn point

Gamers know it refers to: A designated location within a multiplayer map at which eliminated players return to the game.

Non-gamers think it means: A pond.

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Escort mission

Gamers know it refers to: A stock mission type, particularly prevalent in shooters, in which the player must ensure the safety of an NPC throughout a gauntlet of potentially fatal dangers.

Non-gamers think it means: Going out to find a prostitute.

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Co-op campaign

Gamers know it refers to: A dedicated narrative selection of levels designed specifically for simultaneous co-operative play between two or more players, accessed and played separately from the games single-player component.

Non-gamers think it means: The advertising and promotional materials for a chain of shops or businesses owned by the customers who fund it.

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Re-spec

Gamers know it refers to: The process of removing and reassigning an RPG characters manually-allocated experience points in order to unlock a different skillset.

Non-gamers think it means: An eye test.

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Ghost data

Gamers know it refers to: The recorded performance of a player, depicted in-game for practice purposes.

Non-gamers think it means: The findings of a paranormal investigator.

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Shoulder buttons

Gamers know it refers to: The buttons or triggers on the top or underside of a joypad.

Non-gamers think it means: Epaulets

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Cloud storage

Gamers know it refers to: The ability to upload game saves and other important data to a central server, as back-up against any potential malfunction of a local hard-drive.

Non-gamers think it means: A rain conservation barrel.

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Multiplayer

Gamers know it refers to: Any game mode that can be played with one or more other players, either co-operatively, competitively, simultaneously or by way of a turn system.

Non-gamers think it means: A CD changer

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Battery back-up

Gamers know it refers to: The use of powered writable memory built into game cartridges to save game data.

Non-gamers think it means: Carrying a spare battery around in case your MP3 player packs up on a long train journey.

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Level grinding

Gamers know it refers to: Repeated execution of lower-level side-quests or combat in an RPG in order to attritionally increase an avatars experience level and abilities.

Non-gamers think it means: Really smooth masonry work.

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CoD

Gamers know it refers to: Any given entry in the Call of Duty franchise, or the entire franchise as a whole

Non-gamers think it means: Fish.

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Character model

Gamers know it refers to: A sculpted and textured polygon mesh used to build an in-game protagonist, enemy or NPC.

Non-gamers think it means: The poor bastards who go through years of theatrical and modelling training only to end up posing in a pirate costume for a fancy dress web-site's promotional photographs.

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Kill-screen

Gamers know it refers to: The crashed video display resulting from a fatal game glitch, more common during the golden gaming age of the 70s and 80s when unaccomodated high scores in particular would break a games internal mathematical system.

Non-gamers think it means: The crescendo of a particularly gory scene in a horror film.

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Sky box

Gamers know it refers to: The textured enclosure used by 3D games to simulate the sky in outdoor areas.

Non-gamers think it means: The thing that sits underneath the TV and decodes satellite television broadcasts.

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XP system

Gamers know it refers to: An underlying character ability development system using a currency of experience points imparted in exchange for in-game actions.

Non-gamers think it means: A PC running a 10-year-old version of Windows.

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Sprite

Gamers know it refers to: A piece of 2D art used to depict an in-game character, object or special effect.

Non-gamers think it means: A small supernatural creature, usually humanoid and often having some sort of elemental properties.

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Super combo

Gamers know it refers to: An unblockable string of attacks in a fighting game, comprising or culminating in the execution of a special powered-up attack which is earned by charging a dedicated power bar.

Non-gamers think it means: A really good band.

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Combo breaker

Gamers know it refers to: A special retaliatory move in a fighting game, designed specifically to allow a player on the receiving end of a combo to interrupt the incoming string of hits with careful timing.

Non-gamers think it means: Yoko Ono.

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Bump mapping

Gamers know it refers to: The technique of applying a simulated bumpy or wrinkled texture to a smooth in-game object, and using a related algorithm to ensure dynamic aesthetic changes in-keeping with the environmental lighting in order to create the illusion of a realistic, imperfect, surface.

Non-gamers think it means: Phrenology.

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Spam attack?

Aware of how confusing you are to a non-gamer, now? Feel abad about it, or are you proud to be part of the elite? Either way, add any other suggestions you have to the growing dictionary of bamboozlement in the comments.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.