We will, we will BLOG YOU (uh) blog you (uh)...

My apologies to my lovely interviewees and to you, dear reader-friends, for lollygagging on this. My own interviews (which you must goread if you are squirming to know more about HBM)have been up at Parentopia and IzzyMom since Friday and Saturday respectively, and I have had Devra's and Izzy's responses to my interview questions since Friday. I have no reasonable excuse, really, other than that WonderBaby's Quest for World Domination continues unabated and, as you all should know, World Domination Begins At Home! And, yesterday was a bit of a head-fuck day (a subject for another post).

Also, I am being tormented by Britney Spears. If you read my post on Friday, you would have seen that she and I are currently deriving inspiration for our, um, writing from the same sources. Which has led some to wonder whether I am not cadging from the Great Britney for all of my posts. I assure you, I am not. (Go, read, and tell me what you think. My dignity demands it.) And now she's haunting me. I have heard her songs no less than a half-dozen times in three days AND (oh god oh god oh god) I have dreamt about her twice since Thursday (oh god).

If this continues, I will lose my mind before BlogHer. So, if I turn up there singing Oops, I did It Again and sporting a Her Not-That-Innocent Mother t-shirt - please stage an intervention. Take me into a dark room, blare The Cult (She Sells Sanctuary - Izzy, you bring the CD) and show me the Colin Farell sex video while forcing me to down a half-dozen frozen vodka shots in rapid succession.

What is the quality you most admire in a blogger? The ability to utilize language colorfully instead of just using colorful language. For example, if I read a blog entry which states, “The lady giving me unwanted parenting advice as my toddler threw a fit in the middle of Target (Which, if held at a border of two warring countries would fend off any decision to invade), was out of line. So I took things into my own hands and said “Lady, ‘Thou art a purpled hell-hated canker-blossom!’, and she calmed the fuck down.” I’m going to be impressed by that.

What is your most marked blogging characteristic? Honestly, I don’t know if have developed one. I’ve not been blogging long enough to feel like I do.

What is your greatest virtue as a blogger (what do you most like about your blog)? Altruistic intent. Aviva and I desire most to help others. Flat out. That’s it.

What do you regard as the principle defect of your blog? We don’t seem to be in a high traffic area on the Internet. It’s possible we need a larger sign as I’m not sure people know where to find us, but we are always in the same place. Here. We try to stay really really still.

What character of fiction do you most wish had a blog? Hands down, Holden Caulfield from The Catcher in the Rye. By far I think he would have enjoyed the hell out of blogging and may have called his blog “The Most Terrific Liar” or named it after some moron.

What historical or real life person do you most wish had a blog? Historical it would have to be Eleanor Roosevelt. She is oft quoted and I would love to read her own words as she put them to paper, or in this case, screen as she reflected on our country, her motherhood, etc.

What is your present state of blog (present state of mind as a blogger)? Panic. I am afraid Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah may try to ditch me during the day or kill me at night (we are sharing a room which would make quite convenient for her. Really.) I keep asking her technical blogging questions, she’s been extremely helpful, and happy about it, but I have that panic in the back of my mind that my life may be in the balance.

What is your blog motto? “Ditch the Mommy Guilt and Parent For Pleasure!” Our editor would not let us use “Parent for Pleasure” in our book’s subtitle because she thought it sounded, “too sexual”. Aviva and I decided we absolutely must use it on our blog. If any of you are “Reading For Pleasure” just stop it now before you get hairy palms and go blind.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? If chocolate disappeared from the face of the earth.

What is your idea of earthly happiness? No one experiencing abuse, neglect or disease and everyone grew up to be healthy and happy adults who eventually die of natural causes.To what faults do you feel most indulgent? I lack Pie Hole Control (PHC). Seriously, at times I feel somewhere down my in the depths of my ancestary, someone procreated with a Paddlefish.

What is the quality you most admire in a man? Integrity.

What is the quality you most admire in a woman? Integrity.

What is your favorite virtue? Integrity. Big surprise. Who knew?

Who or what would you have liked to be? Taller, definitely taller.

Where would you like to live? I would like to upload New York City into the state of Colorado and live there. I love New York City because it is the city of my origin I feel invigorated when am on the streets of NYC. Sitting on a Colorado mountain top, looking out at the landscape and breathing in the mountain air is restorative to my soul. Combining the two would be where I would like to live. But what to call it?

(ed. note: ColYorkorado? New Yorkorado? Aspen?)

Who are your favorite composers/musicians? I have such an eclectic taste in music, I can’t pick favorites. My musical taste changes with the weather and my mood. But I can say with certainty I can name almost any song from the 70’s or 80’s in three notes.

Who are your heroes in real life? I realize this sounds corny, but my husband is my hero. He serves in the US Air Force (almost at 20 years!), is a veteran of two wars. My husband supports all of my endeavors 100 and ten percent and is equally as dedicated to being husband and father as he is to serving our country. Go ahead, cue the music. My other heroes are my children. I know! Even more corny. Well maybe it’s because they were born here. When I look at my children, I am reminded of where I came from and where I am going and why. They also remind me to get out of the cashier line when we aren’t buying anything. This happened recently. Who knows what I would have done had I made it up to the counter.

What is your motto? My motto actually belongs to my friend, and one of my many mentors, Jill who said, “Remember, your most important legacy is the honor and integrity of your life.”

What is the quality you most admire in a blogger? I like it when I feel like we could be compadres in the real world, that we have a similar outlook on life. It's not a specific quality that I could define. I also like when they keep me on my toes with new and interesting topics or things to think about and of course, a sly, dry wit is always appreciated.

What is your most marked blogging characteristic (or, how would you describe your blog)? That's a hard question. Let me answer it in another way... If IzzyMom was a character, she might be a blend of Xena Warrior Princess mixed with a bit of Dawn AKA "the Weinerdog" from "Welcome to the Dollhouse" and Jo from "Facts of Life" with a dash everybody's favorite understanding & sympathetic teacher from middle school. Kind of tough but tender and super dorky on the inside. Of course, I have no idea if that's how others perceive me or my blog but I'd certainly be curious to know.

What is your greatest virtue as a blogger (what do you most like about your blog)? I don't know how to answer that really but I guess if you pressed me, it would be that I try to be true to myself always. I try not to exaggerate or embellish too much or do anything that would make me feel like I wasn't keeping it real. I'm not suggesting it should be that way for everyone. I just meant that for me, that was one of my ground rules for myself when I started my blog.

What do you regard as the principle defect of your blog? I bitch about things...people, society etc. I mean I don't know that it's a defect, per se. But it's a central theme from time to time that might make people roll their eyes. Every blogger has their "thing" and that's mine, I guess.

(ed. note: um, I said DEFECT.)

What character of fiction do you most wish had a blog? Most definitely Holden Caulfied.

What historical or real life person do you most wish had a blog? I think a blog by Bettie Page or Edie Sedgwick would be kind of interesting. Or maybe John Lennon? The Dalai Lama? Andy Warhol? I enjoy biographies/autobiographies of all kinds of people so this list could go on and on.

What is your present state of blog (present state of mind as a blogger)? I truly love it but sometimes I wish it didn't consume so much of my free time or rather, I wish I knew how to better manage my time so that I could both blog AND do tiresome household chores AND have a social life outside the tiny Mac Mini box.

What is your blog motto? Well, officially it's "Faking it since the turn of the century" meaning that my first child was born in 2000 and I've been faking being passably good at this mom thing ever since. But to be honest, being around so many first time moms in both the blog and real worlds and also having a second child has made me recently realize that after 6 years, I'm actually nearing all-pro status... So I think the real motto is the old quotation "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world" (In case you didn't know, I have found being a mommy blogger among so many other mommy bloggers to be quite empowering.)

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Depression.

What is your idea of earthly happiness? Those rare moments that feel magical. But also the really ordinary ones where you realize as it's happening how awesome it is. Just a few minutes ago, I snapped a photo of my husband on the sofa with two kids and a cat on top of him, laughing and being so silly. It was both ordinary AND magical. That's earthly happiness.

To what faults do you feel most indulggent? Self-doubt

Who or what would you have liked to be? A cultural icon that brought about positive social change.

Where would you like to live? Someplace very progressive and pedestrian friendly. Anyone have any suggestions?

What do you most value in your friends? Loyalty.

What are your favorite names? Tristan and Natasha.

What natural gift would you most like to possess? Unwavering self-confidence

What is your present state of mind? I have PMS so I am feeling anxious, cranky, persecuted, unloved and unlovable. The usual fare for that time of the month...

This is a piece of Izzy. Yes, she's cooler than you. And me.

Now that you know Devra and Izzy (and me, if you went and read my interviews), aren't you dying to let us have a little piece of you? Especially if you are not going to BlogHer and want us to raise our glasses to you (which, fine, we're going to do anyway, but still)?

Write a post in which you respond to the following Proust-inspired questions, and invite someone else to do the same. If you do this, and post a comment here with the link, I'll assign you Muppet Special Guest Star identity. (I KNOW! How can you NOT participate now?) And I'll write about it, and there'll be pictures. (TO mamas, I'll link your interviews here, too.) It will be a Mupproustian Interview Experiment, and it will prove for once and for all that motherhood and blogging have caused the limbic and cortical parts of my brain to melt together into one confused mass.

Just answer the following Proustian Blogger questions (and, if you like, any of the original Proust questionnaire questions that you think might reveal something important about yourself. You can find my selections from the questionnaire here, and a version of the original questionnaire here). Or do a post about one or two or some of these questions (I'm particularly interested to see who you all wish had a blog, and why):

1) What is the quality you most admire in a blogger?2) What is your most marked blogging characteristic (or, how would you describe your blog)?3) What is your greatest virtue as a blogger (what do you most like about your blog)?4) What do you regard as the principle defect of your blog?5) What character of fiction do you most wish had a blog?6) What historical or real life person do you most wish had a blog?7) What is your present state of blog (present state of mind as a blogger)?8) What is your blog motto?

I saw you lookin' at Izzy's boobs, amphibious perv!

**Just one more thing: it's a little quiet in the Basement; our current visitor could use a little company...

It just occured to me that I only have a few days to brag about being one of the few or only bloggers to have met Izzy in person. Dang. Well, I'll share her at BlogHer but she's not moving away from this town without me putting up a fight!

And now I would like to meet the lovely Devra. And what's her name that runs this little blog, or at least her adorable baby.

HBM, thank you so much for the interview. I am looking forward to BlogHer and now that Sarah has said she probably will not kill me, I am less panicked, however I also know we are gonig to San Francisco for the day, and I noticed she did not say she wasn't going to kill me there. Hmm. Could be problematic.

Mothergoosemouse, I have relatives in Colorado, Aviva (my partner in blog crime) lives in Colorado,my dad still lives NY but currently I live in Northern Virginia. However I will be in Colorado in September. So we can hang out then if Sarah does not whack me.

Oh, and if anyone is interested, the pic I used is from last Mardi Gras in New Orleans and our costume was "Crawfish Et Toupee"

Aw, damn, I was considering using one of my tats for my piece of me. Now I'd just be copying the awesome Izzy, who I do adore, so it would at least be flattery and you know, if you can copy off Brit-Brit... but still. Must dream up new image.

For the record, there was absolutely no collusion with Izzy regarding the Holden Caulfield answer.

As for Aspen, in the 1940's my grandfather was offered a house up in Aspen. He said "Who the hell would schlep all the way up here for anything? Forget it." This is the same many who was offered land in the middle of Denver and said "Who would build on this swamp?" It is now Cherry Creek Mall. Say it with me "OY!"

Fantastic interviews. I might have to consider answering those questions myself, if only to find out which muppet I would be. But if you compared me to Miss Piggy I would hunt you down and smack you. ;)

Is that a picture of Kermit with Juliet Prowse early in the post? SwingDaddy and I watched the whole first season of the Muppet show recently. Being both huge dance fans and Muppet fans, it was cool to see those early episodes. Some of the voices hadn't been worked out yet, so it was weird to hear the "wrong" voice with a favorite Muppet!

Damn you and your inclusive creativity. I was doing just fine feeling sorry for myself (feeling bloggishly uninspired due to heat stroke, and not going anywhere, much less to a conference of blog-gals). But nooo, you have to come along and drag me and my kind into the festival of bloggy love.