Month: November 2018

After a bunch of people who aren’t related gather at a remote ranch for Thanksgiving day, they kind of meander around until Jake “The Body” Steinfeld arrives to murder them in a PCP fueled rage. Slip a syringe under your tongue, hide the peas, and get your KISS paint on because we are about to get body slammed by Home Sweet Home.

When billionaire momma, Lara Flynn Boyle, decides to get Baby Bink’s picture taken for the paper, she falls for the most obvious scam of all time and the baby is kidnapped. Unfortunately, the captors lose him immediately. Joe Mantegna, Joe Pantoliano, and Spike’s dad from the Little Giants, star as the dumbest crooks in the world, in John Hughes’ terrible Home Alone rehash. Grab your Boo Boo, sneak into the gorilla pen, and get yourself lathered in some construction site spunk, because this is Baby’s Day Out.

Outworld emperor Shao Khan has sour grapes after losing to Earthrealm in Mortal Kombat, so he interrupts the ending of a much better movie to bring us this huge pile of shit. Using some unexplained magic, Shao Khan resurrects his wife Sindel, forcing Outworld and Earthrealm to merge because the Bible says the Earth was created in six days or something. Johnny Cage is disrespected, Liu Kang turns into a dragon, and Raiden isn’t even Christopher Lambert anymore. Slap on your five hundred dollar sunglasses, ready your animality, and rip out our spine, because we are about to test our might against Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.