Cyclists have many thrilling alternatives to the royal wedding. Firstly, a long weekend break in England’s safest cycling city, York. Why not enjoy cycling at its very best?

Stuck at home? Do your friends laugh at you for your unsightly handlebar tape? Instead of watching the royal wedding, why not instead thrill to a top cycling expert as he talks you through the correct way to apply that troublesome tape.

But seriously, instead of watching all those disturbed people waving paper union jacks made in China, switch off the telly and tune into 51 minutes and 42 seconds of sensible cycling advocacy. After that you could always study some history.

Or in the final resort, why not simply get together with some friends and take your clothes off?