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Author
Topic: Positively Positive?? (Read 5632 times)

First off, let me appologize for the graphic nature of my post. Wednesday morning, I have a brief encounter with another male. He put on a condom and we had brief anal sex. He had a hard time entering me since it was my first time ever. Finally after a couple minutes, he left and went to the bathroom. I asked if the condom broke, or what was wrong and he said I was too tight. My fear was that either the condom broke, he took it off, and ejaculated inside of me. He swears that neither of the above happened, I do not know his sexual history, and I know I am very stupid for even trying this.

Now my mind is running wild and I am wondering if I should consult my Dr. and ask about PEP. I would be extremely embarrased, but I would prefer to live HIV free. I know that my actions may not reflect me wanting to be HIV free and I am not saying anything bad about those who are infected through whatever means they became infected. I would not wish it on anyone, and I know there are worse things in life as well.

Bottom line is, should I seek medical advice and ask about PEP or not.

PEP is not something to be taken lightly and it really doesn't sound to me like you need it. However, you were there and I was not and if you have serious reason to believe he actually did ejaculate inside you, the yes, speak to a doctor.

You need to know that PEP consists of highly toxic medications that must be taken for 28 days, starting no later than 72 hours after the incident in question. Taking PEP also extends the window period. The three month window period starts when you finish taking the last dose of PEP.

Again, it doesn't sound to me like you need PEP. It's you and your doctor's call.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I agree with Ann. At the same time, if there is any serious doubt over and above your anxiety about first time at this activity, then of course do PEP.

But before you jump to that, did you have any evidence that you had semen in your anus -- like dripping out are a sense of him ejaculating inside of you? Or any bleeding?

Frankly, this sounds like more about anxiety than an actual risk, but as Ann said, discuss it with your doctor. As problematic as it is to have to go through doing PEP, I'd say do it if you and your doctor feel there was really a risk.

I did not notice any drippage or bleeding immediately after or a couple hrs later when I had a bowl movement. I am assuming that is a good sign. The other person told me again there was no contact without a condom on whatsoever and he gets tested every six months for HIV. Which I think is good, but also kinda tells me he must have a reason to test.

I am just confused, do not know what to think. Deep down I do not think there is a problem, but I do not want to be nieve about it either.

Your friend gets tested every six months because that is what responsible, sexually active people do. You should be doing it too!

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs. Very sexually active people are wise to have a full check-up every six months.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

With the further details you have provided, it really does NOT sound like PEP is necessary. A condom was used and condoms have been proven to prevent hiv transmission.

If you decide to test over this incident, wait until the six week point. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by this time. Where there's been a true risk, a six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point. I've yet to see a six week negative result change, but prudence dictates that the six week test must be confirmed.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Not sure what is going on, it has been a week since my incident. Last night and today, I have a headache or pressure in my forehead and neck. Nausea feeling, just generally run down. Could be from the hours I have been keeping lately, not getting much sleep, or could it be something else such as sero-conversion? My Dr. did not seem to worried about it, the people who responded did not seem to worried about it, but why do I feel this way now a week after the incident. I had written it off as a mistake, don't let it happen again so I was not worried about it until now because of the way I feel.

The more I read, the more I worry now. I cannot concentrate at work, I get nothing done. I think I need help, just not sure where to turn to get it. I was fine with the whole incident until I started feeling bad. Now I am freaking out. I want to crawl into a hole and do nothing but sleep.

I don't know where you're writing from. If you're in a big city there are likely some AIDS service organizations there. Give them a call and ask if they offer counseling. Otherwise see a counselor or therapist where you can talk openly about what's on your mind and get some support.

Personally I wouldn't say go first to a doctor since they don't always have training in dealing with emotional issues (such as this) and will often just medicate when some informed conversation maybe sufficient for your needs.

Don't try to deal with this by yourself. Obviously you're bothered right now so get some support.

Thanks for the advise Andy and others. Based on your comment is it safe to assume you think this is an emotional or anxiety issue not a HIV issue? I actually feel a little better today, throat is kind of scratchy, but the pressure in my head has alleviated somewhat. I slept a long time last night, maybe that helped.

Andy, I am in a small town, a couple hours from the nearest big city (state capital). Do you recommend a HIV type or counselor or simply a psychologist for emotional support?

Now I have developed a irritating cough, my nose is starting to run just a bit, still feel achey all over. I know you do not like to discuss symptoms in this forum, but I am so concerned and confused, I beleived I have nothing to worry about, but now with these things going on, I am worried about sero-converting.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thank you Ann. Andy, could you please explain a little more. You stated I do not have a problem with HIV, but I have a problem with HIV and my sexual activities. Are you saying that basically I have an anxiety issue because of my sexual activities but HIV should not be a concern at this point, or that HIV should be a concern as well as my sexual activities at this point and I do need to consult a professional regarding HIV and my sexual activities.

We've been telling you for a few posts now that anxiety is your issue. It's hiv related anxiety, but other than that, this is not an hiv situation. A condom was used and condoms have been PROVEN to prevent hiv transmission.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I will fill in more details later. Right now, I here are the basics. About 3 weeks ago, I performed oral sex on 3 different males. I am extremely ashamed, but need help. About 21/2 weeks later, I developed a fever between 99 and a little over 101, and a severe sore throat. I thought, the flu. Along with aching all over. The last 2 night I have had night sweats, drenching my sheets and clothes. I have never had these before in my life. I think I am definately positive.

Please give me any coments or advise you might have. I will post more to the story in a couple hours when I have more time.

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

It's highly unlikely that you were infected through oral. See your doctor about your symptoms - it's unlikely to be hiv.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Ann, first off my sincere appologies for not posting to my original thread, I thought since it had been so long ago that it would be irrelevant.

This time it is a little different, and that is why I am posting here again. I am very ashamed about what I did, but must swallow my pride because I am in dyer need of help. Here is the situation.

On April 25th, I visited an adult bookstore. I preformed oral sex on 3 different males. There was ejaculation, but not in my mouth, but I am sure there was pre-cum. I did not give it much thought after that other than how foolish it was and embarrased I would be if someone found out. Then, on May 12, I developed a sever headache, sore throat, I would go from sweating to freezing often and my temperature read anywhere from about 99 to a little over 101. My thoughts, I am coming down with something, my son even had a sore throat and headache, so it must be some sort of bug. The next day, I developed sore joints and an achey feeling over my body. Again, must have a touch of the flu, no big deal. Then, on May 14 I went to sleep, I sleep normally in just a pair of shorts with little covers as I am normally warm at night, but I woke up in the middle of the night and my pillow, sheets, hair, and clothes were soaked. My initial thought was my fever broke, but that was still very wet, so I started to be a little more concerend especially after I saw that I still had my fever about 101. Last night May 15, same thing, night sweat, it did not seem to by quite as much, but still very wet. In the past, I have always developed a runny nose, something else and was told that HIV does not develope runny noses. So now, I am looking at low grade fever, sore throat, tender joints and muscles, mainly my knees and inner part of my upper legs, and 2 nights of night sweats which I do not ever remember having before in my life.

Those are the facts and circumstances, if anyone can give me some advice or comments, I would appreciate them more than you will ever know. Ann, Andy, and the rest have been so gracious in the past, and once again, I am here begging for their input as well as the others that take the time to read and help others here!

Sorry for the additional post, but in regards to my posts from last September, I did test after that and everything was fine, so that should not be any kind of issue at this point. Also, this morning, I have developed diarrhea, and a mild upset stomach, but I believe that is because of my nerves and my thoughts after the night sweats again last night

There is absolutely nothing which you are reporting symptomatically which is in any way HIV-specific. But then symptoms are never the way to know about HIV status when there has been a real risk for transmission. Which I hasten to say you have not had.

Although from time to time there are reports of infection via giving oral, they never hold up well under scientific scrutiny. By contrast there have been longterm studies of sero-discordant couples, both gay and straight, who have had lots of protected intercourse and lots of unprotected mutual oral. The results have been that not a single sero-negative partner has become infected. Sure, factors like bad oral care or a wound in the mouth might make someone more vulnerable to transmission. So it's a matter of deciding on your own comfort zone about this issue.

Other STDs are much easier to acquire which is why we recommend that anyone who's active sexually ought to have a full STD panel done regularly -- at least annually. As for your symptoms, I don't see any need for testing. If they persist you should discuss them with your doctor. A lot of what you're reporting could be from tension and stress as much as anything else, but if they persist talk to your doctor.

I'm not sure if I am allowed to respond, but I think you are worrying yourself sick, literally. I had this scare last week for 10 days as I was waiting for some results. I started to have every symptom uner the sun.

Andy, thanks for your reply, I know this sounds weird, but I started to cry when reading it. It made me feel so relieved, even though I know a test is the only true way to know. If this was the only type of sex I have had since my last test and I do not have any type of even remotely risky sex in the future, do you feel I should at least get tested over this incedent?

Thanks again, and I would welcome other comments and advice for anyone who cares to take the time to reply!

Thank you Superduck, I greatly appreciate your comments. I also wanted to add that my mouth is in good health, there are no sores, no dental issues that I am aware of. I go to the dentist every six months for cleanings, checks, etc. Never had a cavatiy, I do get canker (spelling?) sores from time to time, but I am very confident I did not have any at that time.

I understand completely what you are saying, and I have had that experience in the past, I worried about HIV, I developed symptoms, I tested, I was negative. However, what bothers me this time is the fact that I was not worried about it at all, even after I developed the sore throat and fever. Then I have had 2 nights of night sweats which I cannot ever remember having in my life, and now I am worried about it. This time I had the symptoms first, and then I started worrying. So I guess I do not think that the worrying brought on the symptoms other than the diarrhea and mild upset stomach. I really think those are from worrying, but the others developed without any worry at all, then I started to think about the time frame, etc. last night, 3 days after I developed the symptoms.

Typically with the common cold you get runny nose, etc. I do not have that this time. The more I think about it, the symptoms, the timing being a little over 2 weeks from the possible exposure, the more worried I get. The more I think about the reports stating that the risk from giving a "blow job" being theoretical makes me feel at easy, but I still comeback to the symptoms and the timing of the symptoms.

Andy, Ann, or anyone else. I do not want to keep posting and taking up your valuable time, but the one question I have is do you feel that based on the situation I described, and knowing for a fact that that was the only even remotely risky activity I have engaged in since my last test, and god willing will be the last remotely risky activity I will participate in, would you recommend testing or do you feel that there is no need for testing under those circumstances.

The only reason for you to get tested is strictly for peace of mind. I don't see any for real risk otherwise in what you have described. But if you're going to continue to be anxious and worried then by all means get tested, collect what I regard as inevitable negative result and get on with your life.

Andy, thanks again for the time and devotion you apply to this site, it is truly appreciated more than you will ever know by more people than you could ever imagine I am sure!! Ann, and the others as well, you are all a godsend!!

I will take your advice, wait out the waiting period and then make a determination if I need to get tested for peace of mind or not. I will assume that the symptoms I am having right now are just a bug and will get better soon, the Dr. did call in a Z-pack for me. I will do my best to put hiv out of my mind regarding this incident and try to move on. Obviously it will not be easy especially as long as I am feeling the way I am feeling, but based on your professional opinion and one I have the utmost respect for, I am sure I will get through it!