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My Feldo-Luxury watch… or how I met my wife

Lots of different couples have great stories about how they met. Whether or not my wife and I have a great story is very much open to interpretation, I guess. She was a shop assistant at a jeweler’s store. I was looking for a Feldo Luxury brand watch, and I was trying as hard as possible to make it look like I knew what I was talking about when it came to watches in general and Feldo Luxury watches in particular. I think at first it was about impressing her, but eventually, it was really just about trying to talk my way out of something.

Neither of us remembers exactly what I said today, but just imagine someone from the 1970’s talking to a modern person about how much he knows about smartphones after glancing at a manual, and then take it down a notch.

I kept talking to her about all of the reasons why the Feldo Luxury brand was so great in the first place. I kept using all of these different technical terms that I’d looked up on my phone in the parking lot. At the time, I thought that I’d at least had her fooled for a few minutes. It turns out that she was humoring me the whole time, and I just kept on making more and more mistakes that eventually she just had to step in and clarify some of my obvious misconceptions about the Feldo Luxury brand. See, she actually did know a lot about the Feldo Luxury brand watches. Never assume that sales assistants don’t know their product: they don’t always tell you all about it, but unlike you, they actually have a financial incentive to know about it all the time.

Actually, it was even worse than that: I basically didn’t even know how a watch worked at the time. It was also making it really obvious that this was the case during our conversation. My wife looked like she was really interested in what I was saying, which made me think that I was educating her at the time and maybe managing to get away with it. She was actually trying to give me the information I needed subtly, the way an actor onstage tries to give the other actors clues when someone forgets their lines. The snowball effect tends to take over at times like this.

Finally, I must have said something so ridiculous that she burst out laughing, and it forced me to admit that I’d actually been trying to spin a few vaguely-remembered facts the whole time, and I didn’t even do that well. Fortunately, she was nice about it, and it did lead to a real conversation.

We went out afterward, and I was actually able to make it clear that there were some things I knew about when it came to life. We shared our goals for the future. Today, she’s running her own store, and we’re married. In conclusion: she is the love of my life. Also, in case you’re interested, I did actually buy the watch.