Analyzing the Jim Schwartz and Jim Harbaugh handshake

Taking a deeper look into this hilarious confrontation that occurred after the 49ers handed the Lions their first loss of the season isn’t a simple task. The main question that has to be answered from this ordeal is who is to blame? Whose fault is it? And the answer is simple, Jim Harbaugh’s. But it wasn’t entirely his own fault. Emotion and hand misplacement played a huge factor. A few things to consider when watching this video:

1) The immediate post game celebration:
If you watch Harbaugh celebrate immediately after the game, he lifts his shirt up and fails miserably at a chest bump. What that tells me, is that Harbaugh’s mind at the time was on another planet. Because nobody does a shirtless chest bump, nobody. And the time of the attempted chest hair to chest pad chest bump to shaking the opposing coaches hand was about 3 seconds. Harbaugh was out of his mind during the handshake, and he probably has no idea what actually happened. Guaranteed he was blacked out off of victory juice and thought he walked back to his locker room with a cool collective head, delivering multiple dynamic on-field interviews to numerous television networks.

2) The back slap heard round the world:
Everyone gives a hard handshake every once in a while. Nothing wrong with that. But if you really want to be a dick and shake someone’s hand you don’t really know, give them a good back slap at the conclusion of the shake. It’s a form of passive aggressiveness. It’s like shaking your mechanics hands after he rips your bank account apart by making up faulty repairs. You hate him and the back slap lets him know. Emotion and accidental hand place-age were Harbaugh’s mistakes here.

3) The post handshake ignoring situation
Nothing pisses off someone who wants to talk to shit more than being ignored by that person. And that’s exactly what Harbaugh did to Schwartz. All Schwartz wanted was an explanation for the douche back slap and Harbaugh acted like his kid was chasing him down asking him for a piece of candy at an inopportune time. Again, Harbaugh was most likely wasted off of victory juice and probably doesn’t remember any of this.

P.S. I’m convinced that the coach holding back both teams at the end of this video is Moses. Nobody holds back two NFL teams from brawling, and this coach did it single handily. It has wizardry written all over it.