Question

How do I stop being used as a human pacifier but still continue to breastfeed?

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Every night I nurse my 19 month old to sleep. We co-sleep, but I usually do not join her in bed until later in the evening. She'll wake usually about two hours after she initally falls asleep and she'll want to be nursed back to sleep. Sometimes she'll fall right back asleep, sometimes it will take 15-20 minutes of essentially just sucking, not drinking. The waking happens sometimes 3-4 times a night (more when she is teething/upset). I would like to continue to nurse her, but I am so tired of just being used as a pacifier. She will not and has never wanted to use a real pacifier. My sleep, and I believe her sleep, are both suffering. I don't doubt she'd sleep better if she didn't rely on me to getting her back to sleep. I have considered weaning her, but I don't think that she is ready as she (and I) enjoy the closeness and advantages of extended breastfeeding.

Mom Answers

Have you tried different shapes of pacifiers? My 16 month old is very picky with pacifiers. Also, maybe just wean her from the bedtime feeding. Finally, my baby used to sleep with us until she was about 3-4 months. At that time I noticed that she was a really bad sleeper... she woke up and kept me up as well. I found that she sleeps much better in her own crib. We didn't have a real crib just a play-yard thing so I put some extra foam under the sheet to make it more comfortable. Even now, when we go to my mom's house and I have to sleep in the same bed with her, its terrible. Anyway, I think if she is not close to you she will be forced to either accept a pacifer/bottle as comfort or learn to soothe herself back to sleep.... By the way that was too funny :) Human Pacifier - I've never been one, but I hope this helps. Good luck.

I have the exact problem with my 9 month old. He just wants to nurse all night long. Most of the time he wakes every 30 min to an hour and if Im not there he will just freak out. So about 2 weeks ago I started the CIO "cry it out" method and for a while it was working great. Then he started teething and everything I had worked for got so messed up. I starting giving in at night again and now I am starting over. It is very difficult but I fully agree with teaching them to learn to self soothe. Even the most difficult babies can benefit from this method. A good book to read that helped me a lot was "Baby Wise" I strongly suggest it. It will not happen over night but my best advice is to start with naps, put them in there own bed and let them cry. after you get naps down to where they fall asleep within 5 to 10 min then start doing it at night. I am still struggling through this but eventually it will work. Good luck!

I am having the exact same issue except she starts out in her own crib in her own room. Do I just let her cry and not pick her up for a few nights? Moms have told me to do that. Its hard. And when she's awake and crying, I don't sleep. I stay awake till she's asleep. What's the best thing to do??

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