no family at hospital?

I'm on my second child, my bro and his wife on their first. They do not want anyone at the hospital until after the baby is born. They aren't even going to call anyone that she's going into labor. Has anyone ever done that? My family and I are very upset about it. We want to be a part of it by at least be in the waiting room.

I'm on my second child, my bro and his wife on their first. They do not want anyone at the hospital until after the baby is born. They aren't even going to call anyone that she's going into labor. Has anyone ever done that? My family and I are very upset about it. We want to be a part of it by at least be in the waiting room.

My parents came from oversea but I asked them to stay at our house until baby was born. I wanted my privacy and calm with my husband and did not want to have people around. My parents were totally ok with it.

My parents came from oversea but I asked them to stay at our house until baby was born. I wanted my privacy and calm with my husband and did not want to have people around. My parents were totally ok with it.

Honestly I wish I would've done this for my 2 births! I will be doing it for this baby. It's less stress I think. I had to deal with family calling every hour and send out updates and had my annoying step mom there bc she doesn't know how to listen. It hurts people's feeling but you have to respect their wishes. Maybe they will be too excited that she went into labor and tell y'all! Give it time and see if the plans change. Is her family ok with that? I'm sure her mom will want to be there and she might get her to change her mind.

Honestly I wish I would've done this for my 2 births! I will be doing it for this baby. It's less stress I think. I had to deal with family calling every hour and send out updates and had my annoying step mom there bc she doesn't know how to listen. It hurts people's feeling but you have to respect their wishes. Maybe they will be too excited that she went into labor and tell y'all! Give it time and see if the plans change. Is her family ok with that? I'm sure her mom will want to be there and she might get her to change her mind.

Yes, with my first only my mother and bff were invited to the hospital - they were in the delivery room with me as my support team. With this baby, it will probably only be the doula, but my bff may come. It's the mother's choice - she's the one who is going to be in labor and trying to deliver her baby, so it's her call. I don't mean to be rude when I say this, but you really have no right to be a part of this birth. Your brother and his wife are the ones who have created and fostered this little life - it's 100% their choice how it's brought into the world and who is there to witness it. For a lot of people, it's extremely intimate and personal and they just don't want people up in their business. If a mother doesn't feel comfortable during her labor, it can lead to interventions that may have otherwise been unnecessary because the body responds to our environment and labor can stall if a woman isn't relaxed enough to birth.

I have several reasons for keeping people away - it saves me the stress/trouble of dealing with people I don't want to without anybody feeling singled out, it allows me to labor and give birth without constant disruption, it allows me to enjoy the first moments of my baby's life without other people trying to see/touch/hold, and it gives me the freedom to start breastfeeding without people in the room who may feel awkward or get on my nerves.

Also, when I was newly pregnant with my first, I remember sitting in the waiting room, taking turns with everyone else seeing the laboring mama we were visiting. And I remember thinking how ridiculous it was for us all to be sitting around waiting for the baby like we were going to run in there and see it first thing. lol

It's okay for you and your family to feel hurt - who doesn't want to be a part of something so awesome? But I'm sure your sister in law would really appreciate people who are supportive and accept her decision. I know I was grateful for the people who could respect my choice without making a stink - it made it so much easier to enjoy my choice and have a stress-free birth. Making a stink about something like this could end up pushing them away - I stopped talking to people who couldn't bring themselves to say something nice instead of complaining about me exercising my right to choose how I give birth to my own child. :P

Good luck, hope you both have happy and healthy pregnancies/births!

Yes, with my first only my mother and bff were invited to the hospital - they were in the delivery room with me as my support team. With this baby, it will probably only be the doula, but my bff may come. It's the mother's choice - she's the one who is going to be in labor and trying to deliver her baby, so it's her call. I don't mean to be rude when I say this, but you really have no right to be a part of this birth. Your brother and his wife are the ones who have created and fostered this little life - it's 100% their choice how it's brought into the world and who is there to witness it. For a lot of people, it's extremely intimate and personal and they just don't want people up in their business. If a mother doesn't feel comfortable during her labor, it can lead to interventions that may have otherwise been unnecessary because the body responds to our environment and labor can stall if a woman isn't relaxed enough to birth.

I have several reasons for keeping people away - it saves me the stress/trouble of dealing with people I don't want to without anybody feeling singled out, it allows me to labor and give birth without constant disruption, it allows me to enjoy the first moments of my baby's life without other people trying to see/touch/hold, and it gives me the freedom to start breastfeeding without people in the room who may feel awkward or get on my nerves.

Also, when I was newly pregnant with my first, I remember sitting in the waiting room, taking turns with everyone else seeing the laboring mama we were visiting. And I remember thinking how ridiculous it was for us all to be sitting around waiting for the baby like we were going to run in there and see it first thing. lol

It's okay for you and your family to feel hurt - who doesn't want to be a part of something so awesome? But I'm sure your sister in law would really appreciate people who are supportive and accept her decision. I know I was grateful for the people who could respect my choice without making a stink - it made it so much easier to enjoy my choice and have a stress-free birth. Making a stink about something like this could end up pushing them away - I stopped talking to people who couldn't bring themselves to say something nice instead of complaining about me exercising my right to choose how I give birth to my own child. :P

Thanks all or your replies. Of corse I know it is not our RIGHT to be there, and their right to do as they choose. I never was implying that. We are going to support them either day. Her family is ok with their decision bc their oldest daughter did the same thing. Out of all the babies that have been born, we've never been told not to come to the hospital, just not in rooms. I didn't mind if people didn't come and wait bc my labor took 12 hours so who'd want to wait that long?! But anyways, thanks for y'all's opinions. We are getting over it, it's just hard and were shocked I guess. I guess it was more of the delivery in which we were told, not the content of the message.

Thanks all or your replies. Of corse I know it is not our RIGHT to be there, and their right to do as they choose. I never was implying that. We are going to support them either day. Her family is ok with their decision bc their oldest daughter did the same thing. Out of all the babies that have been born, we've never been told not to come to the hospital, just not in rooms. I didn't mind if people didn't come and wait bc my labor took 12 hours so who'd want to wait that long?! But anyways, thanks for y'all's opinions. We are getting over it, it's just hard and were shocked I guess. I guess it was more of the delivery in which we were told, not the content of the message.

My husband and I did that. I planned on not having anyone else there during labor other than my husband. I feel like it was a great bonding experience for me, my husband and my little one and I was doing things that I really didn't want anyone else to see anyways. It's a personal preference though, especially for the mom. I know I didn't want anyone there. My water broke at 38 weeks so we had no relatives in town anyways and we decided to wait till he was born to call anyone. I thought it was a wonderful experience and I didn't feel the pressure of having to cover up or entertain relatives from out of town.

My husband and I did that. I planned on not having anyone else there during labor other than my husband. I feel like it was a great bonding experience for me, my husband and my little one and I was doing things that I really didn't want anyone else to see anyways. It's a personal preference though, especially for the mom. I know I didn't want anyone there. My water broke at 38 weeks so we had no relatives in town anyways and we decided to wait till he was born to call anyone. I thought it was a wonderful experience and I didn't feel the pressure of having to cover up or entertain relatives from out of town.

We're also doing the same. Our reasoning is that we don't want anyone waiting around because that puts a lot of pressure on mom to get the baby out. Then after the baby is born Mom may need to be stitched up and it is all bloody gore after. I don't want my stuff hanging all out with other people in the room. We'll also be having skin to skin time and establishing breastfeeding. There will be plenty of time after our time for family to meet the baby.

We're also doing the same. Our reasoning is that we don't want anyone waiting around because that puts a lot of pressure on mom to get the baby out. Then after the baby is born Mom may need to be stitched up and it is all bloody gore after. I don't want my stuff hanging all out with other people in the room. We'll also be having skin to skin time and establishing breastfeeding. There will be plenty of time after our time for family to meet the baby.

We did that with our second baby. I had an emergency csection with my first and having 10 people there hanging out was really stressful. I had a repeat csection and it was just my husband and I until the evening when family got off work.

We did that with our second baby. I had an emergency csection with my first and having 10 people there hanging out was really stressful. I had a repeat csection and it was just my husband and I until the evening when family got off work.

We didn't allow anyone at the hospital when I was in labor. It makes me uncomfortable knowing that people were waiting on me. We only told my family and my in-laws when I was in labor and every one knew to stay away. That's what we wanted and that's what we got. It's their delivery, you do realize?

We didn't allow anyone at the hospital when I was in labor. It makes me uncomfortable knowing that people were waiting on me. We only told my family and my in-laws when I was in labor and every one knew to stay away. That's what we wanted and that's what we got. It's their delivery, you do realize?

If I had to do it again, or if I have another, I would've asked my family to not come until after we got home. I love them to death, but it was stressful updating and coordinating their arrival from out of town while in labor. They also overwhelmed me in my room and I rarely got to hold my son and really bond with him the way I think I should've. I know they had good intentions and meant well, but it was just too much. I think knowing that family was just waiting in the waiting room, but not allowed in the hospital room would've still put a lot of pressure on me and gave me a feeling of guilt that I totally understand where she's coming from on her decision.
Everyone is different, so I'd be supportive of her decision even if it's not what you would have chosen and cheerlead your family to do the same. You don't already want to be giving her stress over just the decision right now that really gives her even more reason that she made the right decision not to have invited y'all in the first place, as well as places stress on her pregnancy.

If I had to do it again, or if I have another, I would've asked my family to not come until after we got home. I love them to death, but it was stressful updating and coordinating their arrival from out of town while in labor. They also overwhelmed me in my room and I rarely got to hold my son and really bond with him the way I think I should've. I know they had good intentions and meant well, but it was just too much. I think knowing that family was just waiting in the waiting room, but not allowed in the hospital room would've still put a lot of pressure on me and gave me a feeling of guilt that I totally understand where she's coming from on her decision.
Everyone is different, so I'd be supportive of her decision even if it's not what you would have chosen and cheerlead your family to do the same. You don't already want to be giving her stress over just the decision right now that really gives her even more reason that she made the right decision not to have invited y'all in the first place, as well as places stress on her pregnancy.

I had everyone there with my first and I hated it so with my second it was just me and my husband it was awesome that way. Way more personal! With my son we decided to pick two people to be there and that turned out good to. This time we aren't sure what we are going to do. Don't have your feelings hurt by it labor and delivery is and should be a very personal thing. Let her decide what she wants once it happens she cannot take it back and have a do over. Good luck

I had everyone there with my first and I hated it so with my second it was just me and my husband it was awesome that way. Way more personal! With my son we decided to pick two people to be there and that turned out good to. This time we aren't sure what we are going to do. Don't have your feelings hurt by it labor and delivery is and should be a very personal thing. Let her decide what she wants once it happens she cannot take it back and have a do over. Good luck

I am delivering at a birthing center and I definitely don't want anyone there but me, hubby, the midwife and the nurse/staff, my in laws are fine with it as they live way out of state and my dad is okay with it too, but my mom is convinced that she and her boyfriend should be there and I told her I don't want anyone there because everyone has given me such a hard time about my birthing choice going all natural that I wouldn't be comfortable having them there, and her response was for me to just not be stressed, so we're not calling anyone when I'm in labor, no one is getting a call until the baby is here and I don't care if feelings are hurt or not

I am delivering at a birthing center and I definitely don't want anyone there but me, hubby, the midwife and the nurse/staff, my in laws are fine with it as they live way out of state and my dad is okay with it too, but my mom is convinced that she and her boyfriend should be there and I told her I don't want anyone there because everyone has given me such a hard time about my birthing choice going all natural that I wouldn't be comfortable having them there, and her response was for me to just not be stressed, so we're not calling anyone when I'm in labor, no one is getting a call until the baby is here and I don't care if feelings are hurt or not

Yep, my husband and I did this with our kids. :) And obviously anyone who ended up in the waiting room were asked to stay away until we were ready. my husband and I were the only ones allowed in the delivery room and chose when we wanted people in there after the kids were born.

Yep, my husband and I did this with our kids. :) And obviously anyone who ended up in the waiting room were asked to stay away until we were ready. my husband and I were the only ones allowed in the delivery room and chose when we wanted people in there after the kids were born.

With my first child j had an extremely difficult labor and delivery. I was not in the mood to visit w and entertain people at the hospital. For my second and third babies we called family and friends after baby had been born. It allowed us time to bond w baby a little bit, and for me to labor the way I wanted. To each their own, but remember its their baby and their choice:)

With my first child j had an extremely difficult labor and delivery. I was not in the mood to visit w and entertain people at the hospital. For my second and third babies we called family and friends after baby had been born. It allowed us time to bond w baby a little bit, and for me to labor the way I wanted. To each their own, but remember its their baby and their choice:)

I want to do this so badly. I think everyone would respect it EXCEPT my mother. She will try to lay an insane guilt trip on me - I'm an only child and this is my first. I just don't want to have anyone in the room but my husband. I'm trying to figure out when the best time is to approach this. :-(

I want to do this so badly. I think everyone would respect it EXCEPT my mother. She will try to lay an insane guilt trip on me - I'm an only child and this is my first. I just don't want to have anyone in the room but my husband. I'm trying to figure out when the best time is to approach this. :-(

I am seriously thinking about doing this when it comes time for this baby to be born. With my son, we lived out of state so we didn't have that problem. This time we will be moving back to the same area as our families. The only problems I may run into with this though is someone in the family will need to watch our son when I go into labor and my husband will be working with his Dad & brother.

I am seriously thinking about doing this when it comes time for this baby to be born. With my son, we lived out of state so we didn't have that problem. This time we will be moving back to the same area as our families. The only problems I may run into with this though is someone in the family will need to watch our son when I go into labor and my husband will be working with his Dad & brother.

The material on this website is provided for educational purposes only and is not to be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, or in place of therapy or medical care. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy

Advertising Notice

This Site and third parties who place advertisements on this Site may collect and use information about your visits to this Site and other websites in order to provide advertisements about goods and services of interest to you. If you would like to obtain more information about these advertising practices and to make choices about online behavioral advertising, please click here