As the date of the “Sex Plan” (check out my last 2 blog posts for context) approached I began to feel increasingly nervous. Carl can be incredibly changeable, as I’ve mentioned, and there was a part of me that was scared that I would arrive there and he would say, “By the way Taylor, I’ve changed my mind. Would you like some tea? A game of chess?” I knew that if that happened the friendship would not be able to recover. I had dealt with rejection from him once, and being around him for 6 months while being so incredibly attracted to him knowing that I couldn’t have him was bad enough. If he were to reject me again, I knew this would be it.

I agonized over what to wear. I thought about lingerie. I bought this crotchless body suit, but quickly rejected it. It made me look like I was trying way too hard. I decided to go with a purple and black lace push up bra. I tried to find a pair of plain black panties to go with them, but they were all in the wash. I cursed myself for not having thought further ahead and made sure I had some clean ones. I looked through my entire underwear drawer, trying not to make a big deal about it because Ron was in the house. Ron knew I was going to Carl with the intended purpose of fucking him, and so I didn’t want to make a big deal about it. I realised 90% of the underwear I own is ridiculous. Old grey faded panties, panties with pretty birds on them. What the FUCK had I been thinking getting those? Thankfully I remembered that I have a lace black g-string which I hadn’t worn in a long time. G-strings aren’t usually my style, but I thought they went nicely with the bra. I wanted to wear a dress, so I elected to wear some patterned leggings to hide the g string, in case the wind decided to try and attack me at some point walking to his house.

After shaving, curling my hair, straightening my fringe and painting my toenails (light purple over the old dark purple which had been coming off, so they looked a bit shoddy but I had run out of time) I was ready to go. My heart started pounding before I had even left the door. I was terrified actually. Because Carl and I are such good friends. Because I have seen Carl’s bookshelf, and it is intimidating. Books about g-spots, erogenous zones, pleasure for the women etc etc. Once when we were drunk and making out he tied me to his bed, with ties he already has attached to his bed posts. It was quite a surprise, but I loved it. I wondered if they would be involved. That same night he showed me his “sex drawer”, filled with condoms, flavoured lubes, toys etc. All this, plus the 6 month wait of anticipation, combined with the last week of crazed jealousy over his (Now EX, thank fuck) Girlfriend and the lead up to the 25th made my headspin, my breath quicken and my heart race as I left my house.

Carl lives very near to my place, about a ten minute walk. We had chatted via text and agreed to meet at 2pm. He had suggested we go out for lunch, and I had agreed via text, but this was just to be amiable. I had no desire to go out for lunch. I was so nervous I could barely eat. I buzzed his flat, already getting sweaty from the sun, the walk and the nerves.

CARL: Hello?

For some unknown reason I decided this would be a great idea to try to be funny. I put on a weird voice.

He laughed, then he buzzed me in. I realised I was breathing way too fast and I tried to catch my breath. I opened the gate and walked up the few stairs to his flat. His lounge has these large glass windows and a glass door which looks out onto a little patio. The door was open, I walked in. He wasn’t in the lounge nor the adjoining kitchen. His music was playing loudly. I went into his study. There he was, sitting in his chair playing around on his pc. He stood up when he saw me and walked over to greet me. Carl is about half a metre taller than me, and I reached up to hug him.

CARL: I was so confused by the lamp thing, I didn’t even realise it was you.

TAYLOR: Haha, yeah, I was just messing around.

He led me into the kitchen and offered me some tea. I tried to control my breathing. I said yes to tea, and sat at the kitchen counter. I realised his counter was quite dirty, well, by Carl’s OCD standards it was, with dishes lying about and an unwiped counter. He saw me looking at them and said

CARL: Yeah, there is no water. Otherwise I would have cleaned up before you arrived.

TAYLOR: Oh, that’s alright, I don’t mind.

He put some Chai tea down in front of me. It was too milky.

CARL: After this, shall we go?

TAYLOR: Would it be alright if we hung out here for a while first?

CARL: Sure.

He picked up his tea and moved to his couch, gesturing for me to follow him. I put my tea down on the coffee table, and sat next to him on the couch. He put his arm around me, and I tried to relax my body into the crook of his arm. I was so tense, it was difficult. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face into his neck. How long had it been since I had done this? Months. My tension combined with suddenly being so close to him that I could breathe in the smell of him made me dizzy.

TAYLOR: It’s that I was really surprised you wanted to…you know, have sex. Because you said you weren’t attracted to me anymore. And that was a really hard thing to hear. And yet here we are now, so I guess, I am just wondering how you were able to turn the attraction back on.

CARL: Honestly, Taylor, I don’t know. It’s just something I realised I wanted to explore with you before you left.

TAYLOR: Okay. Well, I am happy you did. Are you hungry? If you are could we order in?

CARL: I’m not that hungry. But we could do that.

TAYLOR: I am tired of having to pretend that I am not attracted to you. And I know that Girlfriend just left, so I don’t want to be draping myself all over you in public. But I don’t think I can stop myself. So it’s probably safer if we stay here…

He laughed, his charming, deep chuckle. He smiled at me.

CARL: I was actually wondering if you would come to a dinner with me tonight, as my date. It’s (“Some Random Person I Barely Know”, let’s call her Bree) Bree’s farewell tonight, but I know I promised to spend the day with you.

TAYLOR: Won’t they find it strange that you suddenly have a new girl on your arm?

CARL: Well, I am not that into Public Displays of Affection anyway, and if anyone does ask, I will just tell them I am poly.

TAYLOR: Okay, then sure.

There was a pause. I was starting to relax a bit, and I was starting to tingle all over. I wasn’t sure how to broach the sex subject. Should I go into the bathroom and come out naked? In underwear? I wasn’t sure.

CARL: So if we do order in, what do you want to eat?

TAYLOR: You.

That seemed to do it. He laughed and kissed me. Carl has a very unique way of kissing, it was one of the first things I noticed about him. He starts off by holding his mouth away from yours for just a second longer than is usual, to increase the anticipation. I was about to find out, Carl LOVES to increase anticipation. Once he feels you’ve waited long enough he presses his mouth down hard on yours, breathing in through his nose to indicate his desire, his passion for you. He lightly nibbles on your lower lip, caressing your tongue with his.

As our kissing heated up I found myself getting wet at the prospect of what else he might be able to do with that skilled tongue of his. I had spoken to Carl a lot in the past about the kind of things I enjoyed sexually. One of the most notable conversations I recall was when we were chatting about how sexual fantasies are very seldom politically correct. In almost every aspect of my life I am assertive and in control. My very chosen field highlights this (Theatre director) need to control. But in bed I love to be dominated. I love to have someone hold me down, be a little rough with me, tell me they’re going to have their way with me (I don’t mean every time, and I don’t mean painfully.) It appears Carl remembered this conversation. He stood up, leaned down to kiss me further and pulled my legs towards him. I wrapped my legs around him, and he whispered

CARL: Put your arms around my neck, and hold on.

I did, and he picked me up. I laughed with delight. It’s been a long time since anyone literally carried me into their bedroom. I was a bit nervous though, as I am quite a curvy woman, and would definitely not consider myself to be light to pick up. As he was carrying me, I said

TAYLOR: Shame, are you alright?

He threw me down onto his bed, and said

CARL: No no, it’s Carl, not “Shane.”

I smacked him on the shoulder.

TAYLOR: Very funny.

He got on top of me and I could feel his hard on pressing against me through his jeans. He rubbed it between my thighs and I moaned in anticipation. We kissed like that for a while, and then he stood up and swung my legs around so that I was no longer sideways on his bed, but face up with my head resting on his pillows. He undid my belt, and traced his fingers from my bare neck, down over the thin fabric of my dress, tracing the outline of my breasts, allowing his fingers to come to rest gently between my legs. He reached under my dress and pulled off my tights.

He began to kiss my body. He kissed my inner thighs, and then began to nibble, lick and kiss all the way down each leg. When he began to lick behind my knees, in that sensitive area where I usually don’t like to be touched, I suddenly felt intense arousal. I had not realised before that when caressed in a certain way they could be an erogenous zone. When he got near to my feet I grew paranoid and prayed silently that they would not smell bad. If they did, he gave no indication as he kissed the tops of them gently. My g-string was soaked through at this point; I wanted to fuck him, I could take the anticipation no longer.

I sat up and reached for him, he kissed me quickly, and then pushed me back down onto the bed, holding my arms down and getting on top of me. He pushed my legs even wider open with his knees as he slowly, rhythmically ground his pelvis against mine. I began to tremble and moan with pleasure and excitement. When he sensed I my excitement mounting he let go of my arms only long enough to pull my dress over my head and deftly unhook and discard my bra. I was now clad only in my lacy black g-string. It was the middle of the day, there was no darkness to hide behind, no lights that I could reach to turn off. He sat back to survey my naked breasts. I tried to suck my stomach in, conscious that I wanted to look desirable. He was smiling down at me with longing as my chest rose and fell with my excited breathing. I reached up to touch his face. As I did so he grabbed my arm, his eyes glinting, and forced it down behind me. He reached behind his bed with his other arm and pulled out one of the ties tied to his bed posts. He slipped my hand into it, and pulled it tight. He then did the same with my other hand.

Please note that this is a continuation of the previous post, the story follows on directly.

Chapter 1:The Shy Boy, part 2

THE SEX

Scott got into bed next to me, and lo and behold, on to the bed jumps his dog. This canine really did not want Scott to be giving another woman so much attention. Jealousy issues. He moaned at her, and asked her to get off the bed, rather politely I might add. She just stared at him, and glared at me. Realising he was not going to win this one, he shrugged and began to kiss me. I can’t say I had ever had sex with an angry dog on the bed before, but oh well, there is a first time for everything. Horniness levels approaching a peak, the dog on the bed issue was filed away with the “oh God his parents are in the house right at this moment issue”, and I forgot about it quickly.

Scott. Is. An. Amazing. Kisser. He still smelt amazing, and as the kissing grew more passionate he got on top of me. I could feel his hard-on through his pajama pants pressing against me, and felt a surge of lust. I wanted to rip off his clothes, but, still unsure of his level of sexual experience (He’d told me he had had 7 sexual activity partners in his lifetime, I think that is about average for a 22 year old male? Not sure. Depends on the male. Males let me know in the comments section!) and preferences I decided to let him take the lead. Besides, I was in the mood to be controlled. I was a little worried that he wasn’t going to initiate sex and that despite his hard on he just wanted to make-out and cuddle seeing as how we had only met in person about 4 hours previously. Thankfully these fears were unfounded. He began to move between kissing my mouth and my neck and with his left hand he began to explore my right breast, and could feel my hardened nipple through my thin purple t-shirt. Without any prodding from me expect for maybe increasingly heavy breathing and more intense kissing from my side, he lifted up my t-shirt to caress my breast skin-on-skin. His bedside lamp was on at this stage, so we could see each other easily in the soft lighting, and the visual aspect of the whole thing turned me on further. I took off his t shirt and ran my fingers down his long, smooth back digging my nails in just enough for him to know how badly I wanted him but not enough to cause pain. He took my t shirt off, and we continued to kiss – now both topless. I nibbled on his neck, and then he moved down taking off my purple pajama pants, kissing my lower stomach area softly, and then sliding off my red panties.

Then I did something which I kind of wish I hadn’t, in hindsight, seeing as how I doubt we will be sleeping together again (you’ll understand why by the end of this chapter). I asked him to turn off the light. For some reason I was suddenly feeling insecure about my body, and my vagina. I have ALWAYS felt insecure about my vagina because my right inner labia is extremely over sized. Now I have seen a lot of vaginas in my life, some up close, some just on the internet or television but I have NEVER seen a vagina that looks like mine. Some women appear to have both labia very large, or both very small. Some even appear a little lopsided, but mine is extremely noticeable. It’s basically the first thing you see, this one giant oversized labia, and this other extremely small one. Some men, fumbling around down there, have even mistaken my right, big labia for my clitoris. Yeah. Fail. And it’s kind of awkward wanting to say, “Hey by the way dude, THAT’S NOT MY CLITORIS.” I have become a lot more vocal over the years during sex, giving instructions such as “yes, more of that” or “a bit more gently” as well as just getting more into dirty talk such as “yeah baby, d’you like fucking me” etc etc which in the light of day sounds ridiculous and embarrassing which is why it has taken me a long time to try and be comfortable, and actually enjoy being vocal during sex. But I have never said, “By the way, that’s not my clitoris.” Just, too awkward. The most I do is go really quiet if it’s not good, and get very vocal the better it is. I figure that’s generally an effective, yet subtle enough way of communicating how it’s going to the other person.

Also, I have no idea where to look while receiving oral sex! Surely this can’t be just me, surely other people must wonder this also? For me oral sex is FAR more personal than regular sex. It’s just so Goddamn intimate. And I don’t know if I want to make eye contact with someone who has their tongue in my pussy. Will it make them feel stared at? Will it make them feel uncomfortable? I don’t know! So, even though watching someone lick me is a huge turn-on, I usually lie back and close my eyes to try to ensure that I don’t make any eye-contact with them. Feeling awkward is a huge hindrance to achieving orgasm for me, so this was another reason I asked him to turn off the light.

He asked me, “Why?” when I asked him, and I replied “I dunno, it would just make me feel more comfortable” not wanting to go into any of the above ramblings, or admit to feeling insecure. Insecurity = not usually a turn-on. I realise thinking about it afterwards that I may have come off as a prude to him, wanting to have sex in the dark, which is pretty frustrating to me as I would like to think of myself as quite kinky. Scott obliged, and turned out the light.

He began kissing me up and down my inner thigh, all the way to my knees on both legs. Now I had been with someone else this year who also would do that and with both of them it just went on too long. I think that the intention behind it is to add to the foreplay, add to the anticipation, but seriously, I am wet enough already, one or two thigh kisses is fine, let’s get to it already! And then he went down on me. I am always nervous when people go down on me because fucking hell I could write a book about the terrible terrible oral sex I have received in my lifetime. Once it felt as though this guy I was with thought my vagina was a steak and his mouth was a meat-tenderiser. Owwwwww. But I was very pleasantly surprised. Scott goes down on my list of men who have actually made me come from going down on me – a depressingly short list. I had to give him no direction. NONE. He was like cunnilingus yoda. Found the right spot immediately, and played around in that area throughout. Long enough for the orgasm to be awesome, short enough for it not to get annoying. Scott gets ten points in the cunnilingus section.

I get extremely sensitive around my clitoris after an orgasm, so I like to try and pull people away as soon as the orgasm as subsided. I am pretty sure he knew I had come, body spasms and loud noises are a good sign, but he seemed to want to carry on. So I pulled him up towards me, and kissed him, enjoying tasting my own wetness on his mouth. I guess some people find that gross, but I really don’t. I pushed him onto his back and tried to take off his pants, but his tightly drawn pajama pants were making my life difficult, so he ended up having to help me. We both laughed at this though, thankfully. I kissed his neck, moving down to his nipples, down his stomach, and started going down on him. I generally like to start off using just my mouth, and then both my hand and my mouth to intensify the feeling. I did this here. After only about 2 or so minutes of me doing this he pulled me up to kiss me. He had been very silent and definitely hadn’t come, so I was afraid I was doing a really bad job of it. I asked him “Do you not want me to?” And he responded, “It’s just, it depends on if you want to do anything else.” He was trying to politely tell me he was going to come soon and if he did, would be unable to fuck me. Pleased that I was not doing a bad job, and still in the mood to be controlled, I asked “Well, what do you want to do?”He responded with, “I’d quite like to do you at this point in time”. The way he said it was remarkably charming, and I laughed out loud at how adorable and yet sexy he was at the same time.

So we made out a while longer, and then I asked him if he had any condoms. He went into the bathroom to get some and brought pack a whole pack of free ones (not that I’m judging. Generally, a condom is a condom, unless it has a flavour or a tingly lube). He put it on, got on top of me and entered me with ease. It was a little sore at first, but it almost always is at that sudden first thrust. I liked him being inside of me, although it didn’t feel as though I was going to come again. I, like most females, struggle to come from penetration alone. I have only come from pure penetration with 2 men, and I think it had a lot to do with the shape and angles of their penises, as opposed to anything they did themselves. But I had already had an orgasm, and I wanted him to come now, because making people come makes me feel damn good. I ran my fingers up and down his back, kissed and nibbled on his neck and ran my hands over his ass, feeling his muscles tighten and then release with each thrust.

One thing I found odd, though, is how silent he was. I have never had such silent sex before in my life. He seemed to be enjoying it, as he got faster and harder, but he made pretty much no noise aside from breathing. I am quite vocal, and I even wondered if I should try to be more quiet, seeing as how he was being so silent. At one point he stopped and asked, breathing heavily, “Tell me what to do. Tell me what’s good for you?” I said that what he was doing was good for me, and so he carried on. At around this point, the dog, who had been on the bed the whole time may I remind you, gets up and comes to lie next to my leg. Considering that we were moving around a lot, and I didn’t want to inadvertently kick the dog giving it the excuse it had been looking for all evening to bite off my face, I mentioned her current location to Scott. He tried talking to her again, but to no avail, so he got off of me and picked her up to move her off the bed. He got back on so that we could resume, and as we did she jumped back onto the bed, but stayed away from my leg this time, no doubt imagining how much she would love to eviscerate me. All in all I think that the sex itself lasted for around ten to fifteen minutes, but that is just a guess. He got really hard and fast, and it was sore, but a good sore. Near the end it started getting a bit too sore, but then he came and it was over. Even when he came he was quiet, barely a murmur escaped from his lips. We lay there for a few moments, sweaty and holding each other, catching our breath and then he got off of me and went to the bathroom to take off the condom and do… whatever men do in bathrooms after sex? After he came back, I went to the bathroom quite unsteady on my numb legs, then got back into bed. He drew me to him, and wrapped an arm around me. I fell asleep feeling the cool smoothness of his chest on my cheek, and listening to his heart beat.

To be continued…

“The Sex” was a bit longer than I thought, so Chapter 1 part 3 will feature The Morning After, and Oh God the Awkward.

Also lookout for Chapter 2: The Almost Threesome From Hell. Coming soon.