Do not adjust your monitors. We are not experiencing technical difficulties. This is an actual rumor.

Of the putative trio, only Kardashian would seem to possess the requisite Meyerian, um, assets — something Smith alludes to when she suggests that perhaps Lindsay Lohan might be better suited to a Pussycat remake, saying, “Lindsay could become Quentin’s new muse. Look what he did for Uma Thurman.”

There’s no way this will ever come to pass — at least not with Tarantino’s supposed starring wishlist — but if it somehow did? Oh, man. Who could resist? Not us, and certainly not you. We don’t care what you say.