Reflecting on the AHS Hotel Finale: Now What Will We Watch?

Happily ever after? I guess that’s the best we will ever get from AHS. And last week’s finale really sent everyone off in style. They threw in some more crossovers and tied it all up with a neat little bow.

The final line made me sad for Donovan, though. He thought he was the only one with jawline for days, but Countess Gaga showed us just how untrue that was and that she will always be hung up on Valentino.

But for most it was a happy ending. Handsome Cop (John Lowe) doesn’t get to stay in the hotel all the time, but who wants to spend eternity holed up with their wife AND angry mistress? Drake’s young son and the oft-forgotten Scarlett ended up at the same boarding school, which makes me wonder if the school (suspiciously mentioned by name twice in the finale) will be appearing at some point as a new season. And I can’t think of anyone in the whole show who didn’t get a more-or-less happy send off.

I don’t trust it.

I think something will end up happening that messes it all up. Obviously not in this season, but I don’t think this is the last we’ll hear of Hotel Cortez. Just like the Queenie made her way from New Orleans and AHS Coven to the Cortez, I believe the Cortez will continue to be a touchstone as the show moves forward. I mean, you can’t keep a whole hotel full of murdering ghosts and vampires on the sidelines no matter what’s going on, unless you go into the past again (which I sincerely hope they don’t). It will have to play a part.

That said, what about Turkey Skin, aka the Addiction Demon? I thought March worked for him, but in the finale it seems it is the other way around? That’s a weird thing to throw in at the end. But no matter what, the presence of Señor Skin makes actual demons real in the universe which I dig. That makes it so the door is open to pretty much anything next theater. Let’s make wild guesses!

American Horror Story: Bus Station

American Horror Story: Movie Theater…The Dollar Theater

American Horror Story: Summer Camp

American Horror Story: Winter Camp. No. Ski Lodge!

American Horror Story: Writers Room

American Horror Story: Football Stadium

American Horror Story: Phone Booth

American Horror Story: Public Works Garage Including That Dome Thing Where They Store the Road Salt

I think the last one is a winner, folks. Bunch of people with heavy, dangerous equipment. Plowing all night. Lots of orange cones. Horror fan’s dreamland, that’s what that is. Check out how scary the Salt Dome Shed demon thing is.

All in all, Hotel was a tolerable season of AHS. Eva swears every season will be her last, but I think even she found something worthwhile in last week’s finale. And I know she won’t be able to stay away next season once AHS: Public Works Garage starts in with their freaky promotional posters.