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THE COUP CRACKS ME UP!

The funny side of the Coup.

Not funny Ha Ha, but funny weird. Actually, not really funny at all, mostly just sad.

Below is a list of ironic, idiotic, manipulative, unexplainable, and just plain old funny things we have noticed, heard, experienced, read, or seen about the coup and subsequent political crisis here in Honduras.

– Micheletti ousted Zelaya for breaking the constitution, but then himself breaks the people’s basic civil rights of the constitution.

– Zelaya actually went ahead with a process the congress and Supreme Court had turned down.

– Zelaya bought people donkeys for their vote.

– Shortly after Zelaya was ousted Micheletti said he was open to Zelaya returning, but then also said business leaders objected to it.

– The military said it was impossible for them to work with Zelaya because of their training and his move toward leftist government policies.

– Zelaya was accused of giving money and paying for transportation for his supporters to rallies

– Private and public employees have reported being forced by their employers to march in pro-Micheletti rallies.

– Micheletti is saying that he is just trying to keep the peace and tranquility until the DEMOCRATIC election, but took away the democratic right to personal freedom, freedom of speech, freedom of association, freedom of movement and right to due process during the campaign period leading up to the election.

– A road block of just rocks strewn across a highway kept people from driving through a rally in support of Zelaya, and mind you it was extremely peaceful as people were walking, bicycling and driving their motorcycles through with no problem at all. Our 16 year old nephew photographed it, it was that safe.

– President Micheletti is blaming the violence on the protesters in the streets, the ones that did not pick up rocks (rocks I say) until they were bombarded with tear gas, rubber bullets and sound weaponry.

– Zelaya pushed forward for a constitutional assembly to revise the constitution that would start their work the same day he would be voted out of office.

– Micheletti has insisted that what happened was not a coup and was quoted in the Washington Post that “Coups do not follow freedom of assembly… they do not guarantee freedom of the press, much less a respect for human rights… in Honduras these freedoms remain intact and vibrant.”

– The first curfew after Zelaya returned was announced 30 minutes before it was to go into effect nationwide, it was revised several times ultimately lasting for 42 hours.

– The curfew that Micheletti put into place is not only hurting the poor but the business owners that support him as well.

– Enrique Ortez who called President Obama “ese negrito que no sabe nada de nada” (that little black man who knows nothing) was re-assigned following these and other remarks from his position as Foreign Minister to the Minister of Justice. Justice?

– Following reassignment, Ortez told interviewers “I have negotiated with queers, prostitutes, leftists, blacks, whites. This is my job, I studied for it. I am not radically prejudiced. I like the little black sugar plantation worker who is President of the United States.”

– PR firm with close personal and working ties to the Clintons is hired by pro-coup business leaders to spin PR and lobby US government.

– Numerous people have been injured, killed or disappeared since the coup and all have been treated by the de-facto government and pro-coup media with disrespect by initially blaming the victims or opposition for the crimes even though international observers haven proven otherwise.

– Micheletti must be reading the George W. Bush dirty tricks playbook, doing crazy ass things that is starting to piss off the people that were supporting him.

– Micheletti was interviewed on Fox News in a Hawaiian shirt with tropical plants and beach in the background saying what a quiet, peaceful country Honduras is and then a couple days later has the military firing tear gas, rubber bullets, and beating people with batons in the Capitol.

– Micheletti said he would talk to anyone anytime regarding coming to a solution, but then immediately shut down all airports and borders so no one could get in.

– Micheletti then invited the OAS but then kicked them out when they arrived and then said only certain OAS members that he selects would be allowed to assist.

– Some of the darkest characters in Honduras’ history have been resurfacing in the past few months, a former death squad commander who is now an advisor to Micheletti, former ambassadors that were instrumental in the Contra – Sandinista war and that were associated with the Iran Contra affair, and others that were instrumental in the coups in Venezuela, Haiti and other countries as well.

– Micheletti and the media have been relentless at accusing Chavez for suppressing his people’s rights and interfering with Honduras and yet the Micheletti administration has been far more successful on their own at suppressing the people’s rights and silencing the opposition media.

– The Honduran national anthem was blasted at the Brazilian Embassy after Zelaya snuck back into the country.

– Zelaya’s cowboy hat and mustache (sorry, I just had to add that).

– The size of Zelaya’s balls for coming back into Honduras.

– That some people believe they are on the side of peace when supporting Micheletti.

– That the curfew got lifted just in time for a pro-Micheletti rally in Tegucigalpa then reimposed shortly after it finished.

– Can anyone say, Dictatorship?

– While most all Ambassadors left Honduras, the Ambassador of the United States has stayed, but even though his country does not recognize the current government.

– Rallies in support of Micheletti are usually plastered daily all over the nation’s papers, but none were seen on the first day of constitutional rights suspension.

– One of the constitutional rights that was suspended was the right to complain, criticize, critique, disapprove and gripe about the government without prior approval from said government.

– Two leaders of the Zelayistas (those who support Zelaya) were murdered just last week after Micheletti suspended civil rights to bring peace and tranquility.

– Media outlets (2 radio stations and 1 TV station) that spoke up against the government were shut down.

– The USA has had its hand in Honduras for almost forever and now they decide to take a back seat. Or are they?

– People are blaming Zelaya for the curfew and constitutional rights, when in fact Micheletti issued them.

– U.S. Republican Representative Schock ordered a study to be done on the legality of the Honduran Coup. Study found there was No coup.

– Report Armando Sarmiento, former Director of the Honduran equivalent of the IRS (as well as other academics), de-bunks Schock’s study giving it a “Grade D- because of flawed research from the Law Library of the Library of Congress,” as well as “US Congressional Research Service missed crucial Honduran Supreme Court Ruling.”

– Those accused of murder in Honduras get a trial, but Zelaya who was not doing anything physically harmful to anyone did not?

We are neither confirming nor denying if any of these are true or false. We are just spewing more coup crap, like the rest of the media around the world. If you can’t beat’em, laugh at ‘em, as sad as they are!

NOTE: Dawn originally wrote this in her usual light hearted fashion maybe leaning towards one side, but her Editor/Husband put in his 25 cents making it now twice as long, bending all the way to one side, and much more serious….albeit still interesting and funny at times.