My Two Year Old Daughter VS. My Girlfriend

by Jess
(Orlando)

I am a 26 year old lesbian and mother of a two year old. Up until my daughter was 20 months old, it had just been the two of us. After falling in love with an amazing woman, my daughter and I moved into her home and the three of us formed a family. It has been four months now and although my girlfriend and daughter get along for the most part, problems do arise.

My daughter sometimes resists my girlfriend- she screams for me if my GF tries to comfort her when she's having trouble going to bed, or in the morning if my GF greets her instead of Mom. Additionally, both my girlfriend and myself are affectionate people and it is important to us that we show affection to one another and to our daughter, but quite frequently my daughter gets upset (jealous) when I am affectionate with my girlfriend. She will push us apart if we're hugging, pull our clothes, smack either of us or begin to cry.

Most times this occurs, my GF and I will pick her up for a group hug to reassure her that we love her, too. However, upon entering the Terrible Twos, our daughter seems to have become slightly more upset when my attention is on my GF... even if only in conversation. This, of course, is very frustrating for my GF and causes me a great deal of stress. I am a stay-at-home mom and my girlfriend works from home, so my daughter has both of us around her day and night. This scenario has greatly helped us to integrate co-parenting, but we are obviously still having trouble.

Although it has only been about five months and things like this take time, I am in need of advice on how I can help my daughter's jealousy, how to comfort my GF when she gets frustrated, and what to do when our daughter reacts negatively to my GF and I being affectionate. Please help!