Return of the Mack…..it isReturnof the Mack…..come on
Return of the Mack…..oh my God
You know that I’ll be back……here I am

Here I am! Yep, that’s right, I’m back. I know you have been desperately and anxiously awaiting my return from vacation. Sitting at your computer . . . repetitively refreshing your browser in hopes that I had posted a new blog entry. Not eating, sleeping, peeing . . . so afraid if you left your vigil of staring at your screen, that you might miss that first moment of my return and the greatly anticipated brilliance I was sure to spew into the interwebs. But fear not, loyal reader . . . you may return to living your life fully now! I am back. You may finally rest. Go on and get yourself a sandwich. You are looking a little peaked. I wouldn’t want you passing out. I mean, you have to stay conscious so you can finish reading this work of art.

Wait . . . what was that? You didn’t miss me at all? In fact, you never even realized I was gone? You’ve just been going along with your life all blithely and unaware of my absence in your world? Oh man. Well, this is awkward. I thought we really had something special. But I guess I was just a notch in your bed post, huh? Fine then. Be that way.

Anyway . . . whether you missed me or not, I am indeed back. At least for a few days until I run off again for a fabulous holiday in New York for BlogHer. But for now, let me tell you about my most recent fun filled vacation. Or at least . . . the start of it.

It all began on a Friday afternoon. My hubs had whisked my boys off to the beach the day prior, and they were waiting for me to join them at the end of the week once I finished my full and interminable work week. So 4:00 rolls around and I jet out of that hateful place. Aaaaannnnddd it’s raining. Boo. That is a non-auspicious start to my pending 3 hour drive. But no matter. Drive I must. And before that happens . . . I must fill up with gas and snacks for my trip.

Necessary provisions for the road.

Once I am sufficiently replenished with all types of fuel, I get onto the highway . . . and immediately encounter this:

Great. Friday afternoon rush hour traffic + slick rainy roads = ridiculous traffic. Well, hopefully it will clear up once I finally make it out of the city. But until then, I get to see this:

Hmmm, meeting my family for a lovely seafood dinner on the water at 7:00 as previously planned is not looking likely. Bummer.

And it’s not like I wasn’t expecting any traffic on a Friday afternoon driving to the beach. Usually, it gets a bit congested around Annapolis and right before the Bay Bridge, but once you get past the bridge, it is pretty much all gravy. But unfortunately, I was nowhere near the bridge and was encountering this:

This. This is not your normal traffic. This is a problem. This means I’ve only gone about 20 miles but have been in my car for over an hour. And I am not moving. It also means that those Cheddar & Sour Cream Chips that were supposed to be one of my snacks for the trip had no chance of survival and are already completely gone. And those cookies aren’t looking like they’re gonna make it very long either. Poor delicious cookies.

After inching along slowly, slowly, slowly . . . I finally came upon Annapolis. And saw this:

That right there? Not good. Not good at all. This is more than just traffic. This has got to be some sort of massive accident. Because I have never seen traffic this bad going to the beach. And I’ve sat in plenty of traffic. But this is ridiculousness, is what it is.

After inching along little by little, I finally finally reach the bridge. Or at least the toll right before the bridge:

Grrrrr. I later found out that there was indeed an accident that occurred on the bridge and that is why traffic was backed up so far and so horribly. So I now just had to make it past the bridge. Just get me on that bridge, dammit!!

There it is. There is that wonderfully elusive bridge. Finally! I’ve only been in my car now for an hour and a half and have consumed an entire bag of chips, half a container of chocolate chip cookies and most of my water. Being on this bridge was like finally reaching Narnia. Or Terabithia. Or something. I don’t know, but it was really good.

Once I journeyed past the bridge, the road indeed did open up and the trip was smooth and easy from then on. Thankfully. It still took over 4 hours to drive what should have been a little over 2 and a half hours without traffic. I estimated it would take me about 3 hours. I underestimated, obviously. Finally, though, I made it to the ocean and was able to see that beautiful view that I waited for hours to see:

And even though I wasn’t able to make it in time to go to the restaurant overlooking the bay that we had planned, the hubs decided to take the boys mini-golfing while I was struggling to get to them, and they finished up right before I got there, so I was able to have dinner with my family after all. And the first order of business, once I finally peeled myself out of my car, was to order a much needed and much deserved cocktail.

Ahhhhh. Let the vacation begin! Now life is good. Just don’t make me get back into that car for a while, deal?

In my anniversary blog, a few posts back, I talked about how in my year of blogging, I had been lucky enough to meet two really excellent bloggers: Thoughtsy from Thoughts Appear and Red of Doesn’t Speak Klingon. Well, my luck continues to grow, because I can now add one more blogger to the list of bloggers that I have actually met . . . Bluzdude from Darwinfish 2!

Bluzdude (pronounced “blues” not “bluhz” . . . I know, right? So weird!), contacted me a couple weeks ago and asked if I wanted to have lunch. We both happen to work in the same city and he is fond of playing “name that locale” when he sees me post my weekly whacked pictures of the tragic individuals who frequent this fine city of ours . . . usually wearing some type of stretchy leggings as pants. So much stretchiness. Sigh. Anyway . . . upon first email contact, I will admit that I was a bit nervous at first. Nobody I know in the blogging world had yet to meet Bluz and he was a pretty recent contact for me as well. Basically, he was an unknown entity. Although, despite his love of all things Steelers (Boo!), he seemed like a completely normal and nice guy, who did not seem the type to want to meet so that he could wear my skin as a coat or anything. But then again, it’s always the ones who “seemed like such a nice boy” next door, so what did I know.

It puts the lotion on it’s skin . . .

Despite my trepidation, I decided “eh, what the hell?” and once I actually had a free day out of court, told him I would meet him for lunch. We picked a bar. In an alley. Of course. So things were really starting off well in the whole “safest possible way to do this” category of meetings. But don’t worry, once we decided we were going to meet and picked a locale, in an abundance of caution, I did actually ask him in an email if he was either a serial killer or an axe murderer. I figured it was like when you ask someone if they are a narc . . . they have to tell you, right? I imagined the same principles applied here. When he denied either owning an axe, nor having the cause to wield it at anyone, nor having ever killed anyone, let alone multiple people, I figured I would be completely safe! Phew. Close one. I’m all about safety, y’all!

Upon our meeting, I did lay down certain ground rules. See, I try to be as anonymous on my blog as possible. It is necessary for my job, along with the fact that absolutely nobody I know (except the hubs, of course) even knows of this blog’s existence. I must keep it that way and my anonymity must remain in tact. So, along those lines, I made him promise that he would not reveal any details about my name, profession, location, family, favorite color, pet’s name, shoe size or name of my high school crush. Or any other juicy details I might reveal in our chat at lunch. I may or may not have had my hand resting on the knife on the table whilst I made my demands. I will neither confirm nor deny any threats or coercion made at this time. For some reason, he readily agreed to my terms. Based on his post about our meeting, I would say I scared him into compliance he kept his end of the deal.

We had a lovely lunch and talked about many things. From what I actually do for a living (yep, he knows specifics), to recent sightings we both have had of film crews who pretend we are D.C. because it is much cheaper to film here. We even took a picture of both of us together. He brought a real live camera and pulled it out, to which my immediate reaction was a very fearful “NO!” But then he asked if we could just take what has become my signature pose with my bloggy friends. I was completely down with that suggestion. So here we are . . . Bluz and Misty:

Aren’t we adorable? And yes, in case you are wondering . . . I do need a new pedicure, thank you. My feet were not expecting to be all paparazzied at lunch, so excuse their lack of preparedness for their photo opportunity!

So, thank you Mr. Bluz for not murdering me in a back alleyway. Oh, and of course for the delightful and entertaining company at lunch. It was a great suggestion and I’m glad we met up and broke bread! It will definitely have to happen again.

—————————————————————————————————————

Speaking of meeting bloggers . . . in about two weeks time, New York City will be inundated with hundreds of female (and a few male perhaps?) bloggers for the annual BlogHer convention. Yours truly will be one of those bloggers! And as of a couple days ago . . . Johi of Confessions of a Cornfed Girl will also be there and will be my roommate. Holla!! So that makes me, Jen, Johi, Noa, Liz, Thoughtsy and Jules that I know of that will be there for BlogHer. This is gonna be epic!!

Are you going to BlogHer? Anyone else you know who is going? If you are even thinking about it, you should really come. It is going to be so much fun!

In 1952, Singing in the Rain was released in theaters, and over the last 60 years, it has become one of the most beloved and popular musicals of our time. To celebrate the pending 60th anniversary of the release of the film, an event was scheduled around the country in select movie theaters, to show the movie on the big screen for just one night. When I heard about this event, I decided that I was going to wrangle one of my friends to go with me to see the movie on the big screen. Since I had not seen the movie in many years, I thought it would be a lovely opportunity to once again see this brilliant classic and to also experience it as few others have had the opportunity to do.

So that is what I did, dragging along a friend of mine, who I discovered had never seen the film, along with her 7 year old daughter. She had read in Parents magazine that this was one of the movies listed as good for ages 5-10, so she figured her daughter might like it. I saw no reason to disagree, so off we went!

Unfortunately, we arrived late to the theater. It was entirely my fault because I just couldn’t get myself out the door of my house, and once I finally did, only then realized I needed to stop for gas. So, we ended up with 3 of the very last seats in the theater that were together. Second row on the end. You know, the ones on the floor where you have to crane your neck up to see the screen? Yeah, those are the ones. Luckily, we only missed a couple minutes of the pre-movie interview with Debbie Reynolds that they were showing before the movie. Basically, I remember her talking about being a virgin and having good boobs. So it was pretty informative. But at least we didn’t miss any of the movie! Yet. But, we’ll get to that . . .

Knowing that it was my friend’s first time (speaking of virgins!) and wondering if her daughter would appreciate the movie, I was keeping a keen eye on my movie watching companions. They seemed to be enjoying it. Her daughter giggled pretty much straight through the “Make ‘Em Laugh” routine, and was faux dancing in her seat to some of the other routines. Her mom also seemed to be enjoying the movie and later said that the scene with Gene Kelly and Cyd Charisse dancing with the long flowing white piece of fabric was amazingly beautiful. Score! Everyone seemed to be having a good time. And really, what’s not to like? Some of the best chemistry in any movie between two leading actors (and yes, I am talking about Gene Kelly and Donald O’Connor, thank you), fantastic choreography and musical numbers, witty repartee, very memorable and singable songs (Good Morning is one of my all time favorites), and a great storyline. In fact, the whole audience was greatly enjoying it, as evidence by the clapping that would ensue after every famous musical number. It was a good time all around . . .

Until the very end of the movie when disaster struck! Now, if you have never seen this movie and do not want to know anything about what happened at the end stop reading now. Spoiler Alert. Ok, so if you are still reading . . . here we go. We get to the end where they have shown the movie and Lena goes out on the stage to talk and the audience wants her to sing and the boys confer and get an idea and tell Lena to go out with the microphone and demand that Cathy sing behind the curtain. Remember this part? Yeah, so do I. Because I just watched it. Anyway, right after the part where Cathy yells at Don that she’ll do it but never wants to talk to Don again . . . the movie froze. The outcry from the audience was loud, instantaneous and murderous. People were pissed, y’all. I just figured it was some glitch and they would get it started again, so I wasn’t stressing about it. Plus, even though it had been many years, I pretty much remembered what happened next, so I wasn’t too worried. I was a little worried about my viewing companions, though, since they had never seen it and it cut out literally two minutes before the end.

So, amongst cries of “WHAT THE HELL?” and “GET IT STARTED” and “ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” being yelled around us, we waited to see what would happen. Then we saw this come on the screen:

Which immediately prompted more cries of displeasure from the audience. I, being me, started to laugh uproariously. A 60 year old movie . . . thwarted by modern technology. And this was also about the time I figured we were good and truly screwed. A lot of people got up and left. But we stayed and waited to see what would happen. We were treated to many more screens of processing and booting up as they tried to get us back to the movie . . .

And then . . .

More outcries as the option to “start over” was chosen . . .

But that’s ok . . . because they were just going to fast forward through the entire movie . . . on the screen!! ((Facepalm))

Halfway there!!

Keep going . . .

Oh look! There’s Moses Supposes . . . and there it goes-es.

Aaaaannnnnnddd . . . good morning to you as well!

Almost there . . .

Oh look, it’s the end. Wait . . . what? Yep, they fast forwarded all the way to the end. As in THE END. People in the theater once again were not pleased! But, they rewound enough to get us right before the part where it previously froze. So now we were back in business!! Yes. Let’s get on with the denouement, shall we?

Aaaaannndddd it stopped. Again. At the exact same spot. Now there was a serious uproar in the theater, and I’m surprised people didn’t start throwing things at the screen. They were pissed. So, at this point we figure it’s probably pretty useless to stay, and half the theater agreed with us. But, we figured we would give it a couple minutes, and if they couldn’t figure it out, we would leave. We did decide that since there were a ton of empty seats at this point, that we were going to move up and have a much better view, assuming we ever did get to see the last two minutes. So we moved. And we waited. And then we got this:

Oh boy, this cannot be good. And yes, thank you. I feel very lucky to have a Dish 500 right about now. Sigh.

This is when we got an announcement from a guy up front (who obviously worked at the theater) that told us that they were very sorry, but they wouldn’t be able to show the rest of the movie. ((Groan)). But what they would be able to do was give us all free passes to return to any movie of our choice. Bright side? So, in lieu of seeing the last two minutes of the movie on the big screen after watching the entirety of the movie up to that point, I get to come back to see some other movie some other time. Boo.

So, we left, and I got to do the final scene reenactment game in the car on the way home for my companions. I gave them a very general idea, because like I said, I had not seen the movie in a while. But I thought I remembered the ending. In fact, the final picture of the fast forwarding up there is the big finale. It is just a shame that a very special showing like that had to be ruined by a technical malfunction or loss of satellite feed. Especially for the people who had never seen it before and the kids that were there (there were lots of kids there . . . must have been a popular article in Parents!). It wasn’t so much the fact that you can probably see the ending relatively easily on YouTube or something (you can, I found it and sent it to my friend the next day), but being denied the experience of seeing the entirety of the classic film right up on the big screen, and having that feeling of satisfaction once you reach the end. Instead, the feeling we had was disappointment. Not exactly how I expected the evening to turn out, but what are you gonna do. I do have free movie passes, so I guess that is some type of consolation.

————————————————————————————————————————–

Ever been disappointed by something that you were looking forward to and was a one time only special event? Did you at least get a consolation prize?

What is your favorite scene from Singin’ in the Rain? If you haven’t seen it, what is your favorite classic old movie/musical?

Hello all! It is time once again to pick a winner for my most recent fabulous contest.

In case you are just tuning in to our program, a couple weeks ago, I put these beauties up as a most coveted prize to be won by some lucky commenter:

Dare to wear facial hair!

And now is when we pick our winner. And by we, I of course mean that my lovely assistant (aka 7) will be making the selection for me. That way, all of you losers unlucky folks cannot try to come at me with pitchforks and hatred in your eyes. Who can stay mad at an adorable tot such as my son? He’s precocious and wonderful!!

And the winner of these fabulous and stylish faux mustachios is:

LAUREN

Congrats to Lauren!! Now you can be the envy of ALL your friends! You’re welcome for your new-found popularity. Send me your address and I will ship these off to you pronto. mistyslaws at gmail dot com.

Today is a monumental day here at Misty’s Laws. Today is the one year anniversary of this here blog! One year ago today, I published my very first inaugural blog post, sending it out into the great vast blogosphere. You know that saying about a tree falling in the woods and all . . . well let me tell you, nobody heard that blog post. It has floated out there unbeknownst to the rest of the blogging world for ages.

After that post though, there came many more. It took me a while to find my voice and to figure out what I wanted the blog to become. If I’m being honest, I am still trying to figure out what I want this blog to be when it grows up. But for the moment, it has an identity, I think. And it has followers!! Can you believe it? Yeah, me neither. 😉

So, if you are game, we are gonna take a little trip down memory lane in this blog post. A year in review, if you will. Hang on tight. Keep your hands and feet in the blog at all times and make sure your seat belts are securely fastened, and . . . here we go.

I discovered the blogging world mostly by chance. I think my first foray was when I clicked on a link from a friend’s Facebook page to discover the immensely funny Allie Bosch of Hyperbole and a Half. The first post I read of hers was the one about the Alot. I was hooked. I spent the next couple of days going back over her entire history of posts. She was crazy funny, in the best possible way. Then I discovered the incredible goddess of blogging, The Bloggess. I could not believe there were such insanely hysterical people out there in the world, and I poured over all of the their posts, absorbing every creative and smack-you-in-the-face-it’s-so-funny pieces. I didn’t know it then, but both of these women were the epitome of what you want to become in the blogosphere . . . funny, irreverent, brilliant and popular. But they were not what made me want to start blogging. Oh no, they scared the bejesus out of me! They were too funny, too brilliant, too popular. I could never aspire to be like them! I was just happy basking in their glow of readership.

But then I discovered a couple of other blogs. Thoughts Appear and Hoody Hoo were the next two blogs I stumbled upon and greatly enjoyed. The difference with Thoughtsy’s and Hoody’s blogs were that they seemed more real, in a way. They were real people, writing about real stuff in their lives. They were obviously also popular and brilliantly funny, but in a telling stories about everyday-crazy-stuff-that-happens-to-everybody kind of way. They were . . . attainable. They were . . . me. They are the reason I started blogging. I thought, “hey, crazy things happen to me all the time! I could write about that!” So I did. So, if you are looking for someone to blame . . . those are your culprits!

Once the blog got going and started gaining a bit of momentum (readers, commenters, followers and the like) I happened to find myself in the next phase of blogging trajectory . . . meeting other bloggers! I have so far met only two other fellow bloggers, but they were fantastic and I loved every minute of my real life interactions with these otherwise faceless and nameless entities. Some of my meetings with Thoughtsy are regaled here, here, and here. I have met Thoughtsy a lot. I also had the extreme pleasure of meeting Red from Doesn’t Speak Klingon. I met Red twice, both times because she was visiting my area in preparation for a big move to the midwest. I am so happy I got to meet her before she ran off, but a little sad that she moved away and I might not get the chance to see her again . . . or at least not for a good while.

And actually, if we are being honest here, I’ve met one other blogger. But I consider that in a whole different category than meeting a fellow blogger. Because, this was not just any blogger . . . it was THE blogger. That’s right, I also got to meet the Bloggess. This was also done with Thoughtsy. Told ya I’ve seen her a lot! Meeting the Bloggess was one of the highlights of my blogging career. Even though it was a quick reading, book signing and picture with her, it was still one of the best days that I have experienced as a blogger, and it never would have happened if not for this blog.

Another amazing thing that happened to my blog was to become one of Noa Gavin’s (Oh Noa‘s) Funny Bitches. I discovered my blog had gained a place on this prestigious roster of funny bloggers, when I was checking my emails and drinking coffee, while innocently (and safely I might add) driving to work one Friday morning. When I saw my blog’s name in the title of her Funny Bitch post that morning, I almost scalded myself from spilling coffee all down the front of myself. But every burn scar was worth it! That was the most phenomenal of all days. That evening, when I looked at my stats and saw that I had over 2000 views from just that day (a total that might have been more than I had in the entire history of blogging up to that point!), I was completely floored. And honored. I felt valued and loved at that moment. And it really gave me validation that I desperately needed for something that I was doing. Something that I didn’t really know if anyone was appreciating. Something that was so purely . . . me. Just me out there, floating around on the interwebz. It was an absolutely stellar way to let someone know that they were valued. I will forever be grateful to Noa for that.

And speaking of being grateful to Noa for existing . . . it was in a comment thread on Noa’s blog that I met someone who has become one of my closest friends, despite the fact that we have yet to be in the same place to breathe the same air. Jen of Jen e Sais Quoi slammed into me with her wit, her irreverence and her I don’t give a shit attitude. And that was all evident in one comment in a blog post! I loved her immediately. And she returned the love, initially declaring me to be her BFF. We were kindred spirits, her and I. Is it weird to consider someone your best friend when you have never actually met them? Because if so, consider us the weirdest of the weird, because that is indeed what happened. Little did she know that her off-hand comment on that first “meeting” would indeed become fact. She has become my friend, my confidant, my sister-wife and my closest blogging buddy. Love you, chica!

And she’s not the only one! In the past year, I have made some very real and very close friendships with other bloggers, just through commenting on each others’ sites and getting to know each other through our blogs. That is the most crazy and delightful thing about this whole blogging experience! The people I have “met” online and the bonds that have formed with people who I’ve never physically seen, all over the country, and even the world. Johi (my other sister-wife), Thoughtsy, Hoody, Noa, Red, Dani, Elizabeth, Andi, Jules, Bex, Bill, Carrie, Leauxra, Mandi, Becca, Jayne, Kevin, Shane (no longer blogging, sadness!) . . . shit, ok I can’t name everyone. (If I didn’t list you here, you know that I still love you!!) I am most grateful for finding these connections with like-minded people out there in the great far reaches of the world, and it is all because of this little ole blog here. I feel like some of the people I have met over the past year blogging probably know more about me and my life than people I see every single day. In fact, I’m sure of it. It is an amazing thing.

So, to conclude this celebratory ride through the history of Misty’s Laws so far . . . I just want to say thank you. Thank you for reading, thank you for commenting, thank you for your support, for your blogs that make me laugh so hard, think so deeply, and care about you so much. Thank you for being my friends, for helping me edit, for sending me whacked pictures, for just being out there and being you. Thank you to everyone who has ever had a part in this journey. I value every second of this crazy-filled year. The amazing ups, the deep deep downs, and everything in between. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It has been a truly wild ride, but I am strapped in for another go round. Bring on year number 2! Woo-Hoo!!

I am blissfully off work today, so while you are reading this, I am either a) sleeping in, b) taking a bath, c) out at the pool grilling some deliciousness or d) having multiple cocktails. None of those are necessarily mutually exclusive. Except the sleeping part . . . I haven’t figured out how to actually imbibe cocktails whilst unconscious yet . . . still waiting for that study to be funded. Come on, scientists . . . I’m ready to participate in that sleep study. Bring it!

So, no real post today, but I will be back to normal on Friday . . . for my one year anniversary post!! So, stay tuned.

Happy Independence Day, everyone!! I hope everyone has a fabulous and relaxing day, and that your freaking obnoxious neighbors don’t keep your kids up all night with their incessant fireworks. Or maybe that’s just me!