Sunday, March 3, 2013

Chicago Skeptics shock the world by hosting largest Skepticamp ever!

Said one source within Chicago Skeptics, “I went to bed thinking this was going to be a disaster, and then I woke up to find out we had filled up all the available spaces.”

Skepticamps are local skeptical conventions that are organized by volunteers. Admission is free, though all participants were encouraged to donate either their time or money towards the event. Still, no other Skepticamp had come close to Chicago's 199 registered participants.

Dawn, president of the Chicago Paranormal and UFO Society, accused Chicago Skeptics using “mind control technology” to increase audience attendance.

“Some members of Chicago Skeptics have ties to international skeptical organizations, and those organizations have ties to government black ops departments.” Said Dawn. “Could it be possible that the Chicago Skeptics used their technology to lure innocent people into their reeducation camp?”

Chicago Skeptics member Jennifer, who asked that we not use her last name, denied the accusation.

“This is the result of hard work by our committee members! People came because they wanted to hear talks on statistics, science education, skeptical Biblical studies, and martial arts demonstrations! As well as other topics. We didn’t need to force anyone to attend. People came here because they wanted to see an awesome Skepticamp put on by awesome people!”

Reed Esau, the founder of Skepticamp, could not be reached for comment.

In other Chicago Skepticamp News:

Ghost photographed at Chicago Skepticamp

An attendee claims to have photographed a ghost during a presentation.

“Marcus (Davis) was giving a cool talk on Bayesian probability, and I just had to take a picture.” Said the attendee who asked not to be identified.

The attendee said that while Davis was the only person on stage, his picture showed another figure on stage.

“I first I thought it was a dust blob, but it looks kind of detailed for that.”

Like most buildings in Chicago, The Irish American Heritage Center is believed to be haunted. If confirmed, this could be the first picture of the ghost haunting the center.

When asked to comment, Davis pulled out a calculator and punched in some numbers. He replied, “There is a 99.999 percent chance this image is Photoshopped!”

Pirate speaks at Chicago Skepticamp

A pirate warned Skepticamp attendees about the global dangers of a declining pirate population.

The alleged pirate showed a chart showing that a decrease in the global pirate population leads to an increase in global temperatures. The solution, he added, was for more people to become Pastafarian pirates.

When asked why the East Coast of Africa hadn’t experienced local cooling, he replied, “It’s a joke! Only a Babbler reporter would think I was serious.”

Alien magician praises Chicago Skepticamp

Famous Interstellar magician Dischum praised Chicago Skepticamp and its organizers.

“Every time I log onto your Internet, all I see are stories of skeptics attacking each other.” Said Dischum. “Then I attend this event and my faith in human skepticism is restored. It is possible for human skeptics to work together and defeat woo!”

Dischum offers a billion dollar prize to anyone who can prove to him they have paranormal powers. Instead of applying for the prize, individuals who come to Dischum’s attention are abducted and forced to prove they have powers.

Though Dischum, disguised as a human, did not give a presentation, he did make an undisclosed donation, and offered his praise to the organizers.

“I have seen many sights in our galaxy, but none are as awesome as seeing these primitive beings trying to teach each other skepticism.”

Also in The Babbler:

Departments of Paranormal Affairs and Interstellar Affairs to mergeBonnie: I am not planning a coup!Chicago braces for another Soviet Snow AttackGod to smite Bolingbrook on 3/6/13

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