Wednesday, May 04, 2005

"Is you is, or is you ain't, my baby?"

I’m obsessed.I can’t help it.It all started when a bag of chicken bones hit me on the head.

See, my freezer is appalling. It is stuffed to the brim with food. It takes 4 hands to hold everything in place, 1 hand to hold the door open and another hand to pull out the Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. So, I’ve been toying with the idea of buying a stand alone freezer. I know. I know. Pantrygirl, a stand alone freezer in a Manhattan apartment? Inconceivable! Well, I didn’t think I’d have a pantry. I can be an innovator. Besides, the little old lady who lived in her shoe needs some company.

So I’ve been eyeballing small (<5 cubic feet) freezers. I’ve learned that in Manhattan, no one sells tiny freezers. Why the hell should they? It’s inconceivable!

I was teetering but I think I’m pretty sure I’m going to get one. The final straw was the avalanche that fell upon me last night. I was looking for the extra pancetta I stashed in the freezer. I heard the wicked creak of a freeze-dried bag shift. Soon everything was popping out. A bag of tater tots. Two lbs of ground beef. The chicken bones. Two pints of ice cream. A bag of summer berries. I felt like Tom from Tom and Jerry when he had to catch all the items in the kitchen Jerry was flinging at him. I can’t find a picture of it but here is a picture of one of my all-time favorite Tom and Jerry episodes:

Now, I can’t stop thinking about what I can do with a freezer. I can finally get that ice cream maker doodad and make fresh ice cream for the summer. I can also store a turkey. Past Thanksgivings involved a giant cooler on the fire escape and a lot of ice and brining solution. Boy, my mind is swarming with endless possibilities. Ice Cream. Cheaper prices for bulk meat. Ice Cream. Freezing soups. Sorbet. Ice Cream. Did I mention, Ice Cream?

Ok, I need to get back to reality. We’ll probably have to do some re-arranging to get the sucker in the kitchen. I’d love for it to be in the pantry but my husband would probably kill me if I asked him to add an electrical line in there. Secondly, I’d probably have to climb on top of that thing to grab items from the top shelves.My other dilemma is cost. I’m trying to stay relatively sane and keeping it under $200. To hit that magic mark, I need to ensure this thing doesn’t need to be delivered or the store has free delivery. HAHAHAHAHAHHA. I made myself laugh. Free Delivery in NYC. HAHAHAHAHHAHA. For non-NYC-ers, nothing is free. Ok. The dry cleaners, Chinese Food and Pizza, excluding Dominos has free delivery. Heck, you get charged $20.00 from Bed, Bath and Beyond if you decide to be civil and not carry the giant 6 foot behind-the-toilet rack on the subway.

So my next best alternative I can think of is going to Jersey or Westchester and hoping their appliance stores have stand-alone freezers. If a leather high back recliner can be strapped onto our sedan, a tiny freezer should too, right? This is a lot of work for ice cream, isn’t it?