Friday, December 6, 2013

Well, at least Chevy Malibu lets us know who to blame....

Somewhere buried in this mess is kind of a nice message- "life isn't perfect." Of course, we who do not live in TV land didn't really need to be reminded of this, but since 99.9 percent of car commercials show Pretty Perfect People living Pretty Perfect Lives in their Pretty Perfect Houses and Pretty Perfect Cars, it's not a bad thing to have this acknowledged in what I eventually figured out was an ad for Chevy Malibu.

The problem is, the nice message really is buried in a mess which SEEMS to be a CELL PHONE commercial. We see this stupid, ugly moron staring at his stupid phone, explaining to us how much "we" enjoy capturing- and think it's very very important to capture- every freaking moment of the lives of his children. And not just capture, but post. He worries that "we" edit too much- we only show the "good" stuff- and in doing so send a false message. In other words, this idiot thinks that people only believe what they see on Facebook- if all we witness is the fun, we'll think that all his family is doing is having fun.

Odd- I don't think this way. If I thought that everyone on Facebook was only living the lives I saw on Facebook, I'd be so damned depressed I'd just have to stop looking at it. This guy looks like he's too old to have grown up with Facebook- does he think that photo albums tell unadulterated truth? And does he really believe that people who "edit too much" are the problem? Personally, I think that people don't edit anywhere near enough- the stuff they think I'm interested in (I really need to see another picture of your three-week old kid, the one you posted four hours ago is out of date) never ceases to astonish (read: bore) me...

Even more odd is the way he suggests that "we" fix this "problem" (seriously, this guy thinks too much about nothing and has way too much time on his hands.) He muses that maybe we ought to just post everything- good lord, including his little kids dealing with lice (I'm not kidding- congratulations, dad, those kids will never stop hating you, ever) and Junior's Little Car Accident (why does anyone else need to know this happened? Why would anyone else- let alone EVERYONE else- care?)

Does the word "privacy" mean anything at all to this clod? "Look, my kids have lice! Look, my kid damaged the car!* Look, my kid wet the bed (ok, we don't actually see this, but it connects logically, doesn't it?")

Oh, and remember- this is a Chevy Malibu commercial. Not a cell phone commercial, not a Facebook commercial. Remember I used the word "mess" earlier?

PS- "Somewhere between that trip to Paris and that 6-week Juice Cleanse." Oh seriously, fuck off you privileged, clueless one-percenter dickwad.

*The kid makes it very clear that he doesn't want his accident put on the internet. Parent's response-"who cares what you want? We are living an uncensored, unedited life! Online it goes!"