The Musings of a Young Woman

“Never the luck, and never the lead, and “never-you-mind” they say. In time we all taste, the lime in the light, and I’ll have my night someday.” – Bazzard, “The Mystery of Edwin Drood”

Let me be completely transparent here. Every actor–yes, I’m making this blanket statement–every actor wants to play a big part on stage. If there is an actor who is completely content with five minutes of stage time and two lines to memorize, I certainly haven’t met them. We strive to be the best. Sometimes we know we are the best, and things still don’t go our way. Theatre, especially in the acting realm, is a hardscrabble, competitive life. Even at the collegiate level I have seen friends cut down friends because casting didn’t go their way.

Now, while what I have just described is a large facet of what happens between actors, it is not the only facet. I prefer to air the dirty laundry at the beginning, and then get to the good stuff.

There is an immeasurable bond that is created between cast members. During every show I have been cast in, there was a sort of communal experience that is unique to theatre. To tell a story with our bodies–our faces, vocal cords, arms, legs, clothes–and to create beautiful art together is priceless. The theatrical community as a whole shares a fantastic bond, but the actors knit especially close together throughout the process of creating a play.

I have spoken about Snow Queen before, in my entry about design. Let’s revisit that show, shall we?

The characters in Snow Queen consisted of a band of lost children, a ragtag gang of Orcs, the Storyteller, the Snow Queen, the Ice Warriors, the Snowbirds and the Wolves. A Prince and Princess also make an appearance. These characters were brought to life by myself and a few dozen friends of mine while at community college, and it was amazing.

In this show, I played the first role that I truly loved. I was a loud mouthed girl who was part of the lost children in the forest. My name was Gerda, and with the help of a slew of others, I ended up saving the world. It was a truly magical show, and let me tell you this: the friendships that were formed and strengthened during that show have not been broken. I am still in contact with many of those people, even though we’ve all moved on in life. The other day I saw a couple of the middle school actors who had been in the show (two years after our performances) and we reconnected as if we had never been apart.

I have a hard time putting it into words just how I have been changed by the shows I’ve been in. It is a process that is difficult to explain, but anyone who has ever acted knows what I mean.

For those of you who’ve not acted, here’s a scenario: Imagine that you have grown up in a single room. You have everything you need: sunlight, food, water, toys, internet, etc. You are content in this room, and would live out all your days there without complaint. Then one day, someone opens the door. The room is flooded with sound, and a warm sort of light you’ve never felt before. This person pulls you out into a room full of people. You are uncomfortable, all you want is to crawl back into your room and lock the door. The person who has dragged you out begins introducing you to people. There’s a dancer, and she shows you a bit of her art. A juggler, a mime, a basketball player, circus performers, accountants, inventors. People of all shapes, sizes, colors and professions. Your mind is overwhelmed with all the new information these people are injecting into it.

At the end of the night, you go back to your room, and the person who took you out of it quietly closes the door. You realize, suddenly, that all you want is to be back in that room with all those people, and so you wait anxiously for the next opportunity. You are no longer content in your small, enclosed world. So you sit with your ear to the door, and wait for the people to return.

This is a small illustration that shows what theatre did to me. It got a hold of my heart, of my soul. It will never let go, and I never want it to.