Tuesday, May 17, 2016

A reason to write:

How free, lovely and boring of me ... I drive over to rehab, pull on a leg, and walk back and forth on a long wooden board with handrails ...

HOW IS THAT for cool and boring!!?!

Last week I had a little breakdown into tears .. Taking those first steps after many LONG months of enduring the process of hopping, and before that, the exhaustingly horrific months of constant mind numbing pain and fear that this horrible cancer was searching out another hiding spot in my body.

TODAY ... I said to the physio lady ... This feels like I am walking in my running shoe, except it's my leg ...

HOW BEAUTIFUL is THAT????

I have been avoiding this little space .. So much has happened .. And I am free to be... And that I am. I can't believe that I haven't taken the time to capture the shear excitement of my first steps ... But then again ... It isn't so awesome, everybody walks - more or less ... I knew eventually this is the space I would find myself in ... Which I am HUGELY grateful for ...

Yesterday I grimaced .. And the physio lady asked if I was in pain ... "No, not at all", I said ... " I am just trying to concentrate" .... The reason being ... I am visiting the rehab department .. Where the majority of the folks are recovering from Strokes, and at my time, I am the only one minus a limb. All I could think about was ... "Deanna, when is it going to be your chance to start back again ... " All I could think about were the possibilities that were within reach of my own personal successes, as long as I kept walking... I was grimacing as I continued to take my steps because I was telling myself to stay focused in the "here and now" ... Stop looking to the future ... It will happen, as it happens... But I am so happy and thankful and anxious to further my journey ... And my journey with belonging to the stroke community ... And I just want to be back, making a difference, if that is what I am doing when I am there ...

I did find a reason to come here today ... I always wonder about the difference that I might to people in the world, and I feel that it is never enough ... At least not right now ... So I found myself hunting about on Facebook as a lunchtime distraction ... And I found this guy:

TALK about making a difference, talk about changing people's lives, talk about a purpose, talk about the evils and ravages that cancer has on individuals and their families ... THIS guys single idea will make such a difference to people in their journey's .... I very much feel it is a worthwhile cause ... I felt a little inspired to come here today and whisper a couple of humour words ... Thanks to this stranger.