Wednesday, June 20, 2012

As a Military family, we lose control over being together during milestone moments in Conner's life sometimes. While we've been lucky thus far in Derek being home for Conner's first smile, first Thanksgiving and Christmas, rolling over...and hopefully soon-to-be crawling (he's so close!), we've lost out on Derek being there for checkups, Conner's first Easter and more. It's the nature of the Army beast. You learn to cherish the moments when your family can be together to experience milestones together.

Making memories, to us, is probably a more planned out and more exciting thing to us than it would be to most, because of the fact that we don't always know when we'll have the chance to do it again. Deployments and training often take my husband away, yet Conner isn't slowing down or putting a halt on growing and learning just because Daddy isn't home. And so we're taking careful steps to plan some memories in the making, while we've got the opportunity. It may not always be ideal or how we pictured doing things, but it's our chance to do them regardless of when or exactly how...and so we jump at the opportunity.

In a few weeks, Conner is going to get his first hair cut. This is one of those memories that we have the ability to control. Daddy is around and his best friend's mom happens to be a hair dresser. And so Conner will have his baby locks cleaned up, and Daddy will have the chance to sit his little boy on his lap and experience Conner's first hair cut with him. It's a small memory, and maybe insignificant to some of you...but it's one that we will appreciate always...and one that will always be a memory we got to enjoy as a whole family.

We're also going to get the chance to take Conner down the shore. This memory is particularly important to me because as kids, Derek and I grew up going down to the Jersey shore on family vacations. Before I go on, no. Not that "Jersey Shore". The REAL Jersey shore where blow-outs are rare and a "Situation" is deciding whether you want the Ninja Turtle popsicle or a snow cone from the ice cream guy who rings his bell on the beach. The shore is a place of fond memories for us both, and having the opportunity to take our son to the beach for the first time, let his little feet touch the warm sand, and stick his piggies in the cool Atlantic water (pronounced "wooder" for those who can appreciate it). It's a chance to let him have a taste of Kohr Brothers ice cream off of our fingers, and a chance to walk the boardwalk with the cool ocean air and the smell of funnel cake enveloping us. It's a memory that I am so excited to make with my son. And another one that Daddy will be able to make with us. And that is just wonderful.

I hope that as you read this you reflect on the memories you've made with your own families. And I hope that you also think to stop and appreciate the ones you are going to make...especially when you get to do it with your family...all together.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

It was like a slow motion scene in a movie as the words came out of her mouth, "so Conner is 6 months old, and little brother or sister is due when?". Fighting back tears and the urge to swear like a sailor at the lady-priest speaking to me, I kindly smiled and informed her that I am not pregnant, thank you for having us in her church for a baptism, and have a nice day.

I've never walked so quickly in heels and a dress just to get back to the car. I felt mortified. I felt like if she hadn't been a priest and we hadn't been in church, I may have decked her. I felt like I wanted to crawl under a rock, cry my eyes out, and hide forever.

It's the question no non-pregnant woman ever wants to be asked.

Funnily enough, I had gotten ready that morning and been ecstatic that the dress I was wearing was one that I had originally purchased for our honeymoon. It's this sweet little purple cotton dress with a pretty ruffle neckline. I had thought it was flattering...and my husband had even complimented how nice it had looked. Besides feeling nice in it, I was beaming with the knowledge that I had made a post-baby body accomplishment in fitting into this dress. Paired with my new favorite pair of wedges, I thought I was good to go....

And then out came her well-meaning, but heart stabbing words and I so badly wanted to trash that damn dress and put on some sweatpants.

It's such killjoy when you're making progress in losing baby weight, adjusting to the fact that your body will never ever be the same as it was pre-baby, and finally starting to enjoy getting dressed in the morning. And while my husband, sweet man that he is, insisted that I looked wonderful in my dress and that I was beautiful to him always, I was still hurt and mortified by the fact that this woman assumed I was pregnant. It was right up there with the "you look huge!!" comments while I was pregnant. It's just not nice.

I reminded myself that the lady priest was probably equally embarrassed when I informed her I was not, in fact, currently expecting. She was well meaning, certainly...tactful, maybe not...but such is life I suppose. I still hear her words in my head, and I'm still reminded of her assumption made me feel. But instead of taking it and feeling sorry for myself, I'm working with it. Using it as motivation to continue working hard towards my goal of looking and feeling healthier than I did even pre-Conner, I'm finding myself determined to never let something like that get me down.