Saturday, May 26, 2012

The power of words

My mouth has a mind of its own. Or, as my boss once said 'the distance between the brain and the mouth is too short and things escape before I have had a chance to decide whether they should even see the daylight'. This has been a big problem for me since ... I can remember myself.

The funny thing is that negative things are so much easier to say and in some ways I find bonding with others is easier when the discussion is about someone in a negative way. I don't know why. Is it just me?

The one thing I do know is that no matter how angry or disappointed you are in the person being discussed, after things are said, it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. Then I wish I could rewind time and keep my mouth shut.

After Whitney Houston died, I was watching an interview with her cousin and she was asked if she thought that Whitney's husband is to be blamed for her fall to drugs. I thought her cousin took such a high road by saying something along the lines of "they both had their demons to fight". She didn't indulge in slamming him, she didn't express her opinions on who is to be blamed, she just left it at that without entertaining it further.

How does one learn not to gossip? And why is gossip so deliciously, sickeningly sweet? The funny thing is that generally I assume that no one gossips about me.

There have been so many times when I say something judgemental and later find out that the person either didn't know, tried to do their best but perhaps didn't succeed, or had very good reasons to do what they did. 99 times out of 100, it is very humbling to realise that people don't do things because they are mean or evil, their actions often are just a result of their interpretation, past, or situation. So when I catch myself starting to go down the wrong path, I consciously try to remind myself that we all come from a different past and live our life according to the perspective we see life from.

I have also realised that if someone wants to find a fault and be mad about something, they will always be able to find one no matter how blameless ones life is. On the other hand, there will always be people who will try to understand a reason for an action even if it might have been hurtful. I have been blessed to have beautiful friends who have forgiven and remained my friends regardless of how many stupid and thoughtless things I've done. It is beautiful to realise that someone loves you regardless of how dumb you can be at times.