It's Christmastime, and I am naturally planning to get myself a little gaming-related present. I'm also an enthusiastic solo gamer. Everyone on the internet seems to be singing the praises of one game: Kingdom Death: Monster. Especially its solo mode. And its Kickstarter campaign looks like it's about to top $8 million. Eight million dollars. It seems like it would be natural for me to treat myself to the base copy of Kingdom Death: Monster 1.5. (At $250, it's already budget-breaking for me, so I'd have to stop there and forego any extras.) If I don't, won't I be missing out on one of the most groundbreaking and intense gaming experiences around?

Part of me still suffers from the fear of missing out, but I've decided not to back KDM.

The main reason is that, no matter how much everyone says the game will be fun, I can't imagine actually enjoying it. I love RPGs, and the idea of building up characters and expanding settlements sounds awesome. I could totally get into a game like that.

Unfortunately, that doesn't actually seem like what KDM is about—if all of your settlers die, you have to go all the way back to the beginning of the campaign and start all over from the earliest stages. Fighting the same beginner monsters. Again, and again, and again. Some people love brutal games. But I know myself, and I know I would rage quit before I got my $250 worth. That, and the paperwork you generate while trying to keep track of the game and everything that happens in it sounds pretty miserable. DnD paperwork doesn't bother me too much, but KDM looks downright excessive.

And of course, this is all stuff that happens after you get all of the finicky miniatures out of the box and put them together, which might be an incredible experience for someone else. But I am inexperienced with miniatures and would probably end up very frustrated, not to mention worried that I had screwed up the components of an extremely expensive game that I couldn't afford to replace.

The truth is that KDM sounds like too much of an investment for me both financially and in terms of the game itself. I am willing to play some pretty heavy board games, but the word to empasize here is play. If a game feels like a slog, I'm not going to continue with it. And I'm not willing to gamble $250 plus shipping that Kingdom Death: Monster is going to rock my world.

Also, even if KDM's fantasy world were more accessible, I'm not sure I would want to inhabit it for very long. The art that I've seen is gratuitously boobtacular, to the point of being gross, and that isn't my thing. I don't want to be constantly annoyed by yet another exposed nipple or female warrior who still needs to scavenge for a sports bra.

I will be honest. Despite all of these potential drawbacks, I'm still really suffering with the desire not to miss out on a potentially great game. Kingdom Death: Monster is obviously a huge deal. People love it, and it's not going to be easy to get ahold of a copy outside of this Kickstarter campaign. I am serious about gaming as a hobby and I want to stay aware of important current gaming experiences.

But this is one of those moments where I have to remind myself: Do I really want to drop hundreds of dollars on a game that my gut tells me I will never extensively play? Ultimately, the answer is no.