HNAKRA WARS

by Roger M. Wilcox, 21-January-1983

[This was a joke wargame I wrote, based primarily on another joke wargame
called "Pond War," which featured boys smashing frogs and frogs setting off
radioactive Bug Bombs. My 12th grade English class had been reading C.S.
Lewis's Out of the Silent Planet, and I was getting so sick of the other
students' fawning over Malacandra and drawing pictures of Sorns sitting around
saying "Come in, small one" and all the thinly-disguised Christian smarminess
that I decided to turn the whole thing on its ear and concentrate on those
damned hnakra hunting expeditions the hross occasionally went on to prove their
manhood. Everything below appears exactly as I wrote it in 1983.]

Hnakra wars is just your typical, average, everyday war game. Each player
assumes the role of the commander-in-chief of a squadron of hrossa, each armed
and heavily armored, who try to kill as many Hnakra as they can within a
certain number of game turns.

As you may remember, unless you are a complete moron, in Out of the Silent
Planet, the Hross were allowed to kill only one hnakra within their
lifetime, and a dude named Oyarsa (who was high-and-mighty politically) only
let the hnakra out once in a blue Phobos. However, in That Hideous
Strength, Oyarsa, Meldilorn Maleldil, and the rest of the bunch were
all over at Earth commanding forces of mythos (see the second game in this
series, "Weston & Devine Wars"). This left the hross free to go out
and massacre as many hnakra as they darned well pleased.

The game is divided into game turns, each of which has a real-time duration of
exactly one (1) short moment (not as long as a moment, and not nearly as long as a
long moment). Each turn is divided into segments, as follows:

1. Initiative Determination Segment -- there is no initiative in this game;
everyone moves simultaneously. I don't know why I put this segment into the
game. I guess it just sounded nice.

2. Suicide Segment -- And hross that wish to kill themselves may do so, and
their counters are immediately removed from play. This is to the advantage of
no one, and as such should be avoided altogether.

3. Nuclear Warfare Segment -- this is optional, just like the first two
segments (and everything else). Occasionally, hnakra (or stupid hross) get
ahold of nuclear bombs and decide to set them off. Doing this ends the game,
and on a 1-6 on a six-sided die will result in making the battlefield radioactive,
and players will be unable to play for another 20,000 years.

4. Movement Segment -- Now we get down to the real game. Any counters
the hrossa players have may be moved in any direction up to their movement
allowance, which is printed on their counters. NOTE: there are no rules for
the optional use of potholes in this game. Make your own.

5. Hnakra Movement Segment -- Hnakra now move on their own volition.
They will either attempt to flee, or turn and charge on, their nearest opponent,
the chance of which may be determined by any die roll the players agree on.

6. Attack Segment -- Now comes the real fun. Any counter may now
attack any other counter which is either within the same hex or within range of
their weapons. This means that different players' hrossa may freely attack
each other. This is not advisable, especially if your opponent is an arsonist
or a mass murderer. Hnakra always attack hross in their hex.

7. Yelling & Cheering Segment -- Each hross that has killed someone now
jumps up & down and announces this fact at an elevated decibel level.
Those who have attacked and missed now curse, usually in the language of the
Pfifilltriggi.

8. Record keeping Segment -- Records are now kept.

9. Record Burning Segment -- Records made in segment 8 are now burned.
This goes double if you are under suspicion by the CIA.

Hross counters represent what weapon the hross has, or have a picture of an unarmed
hross. Hnakra counters have a cute stick figure on them. As you've
probably guessed, the pictures above are not drawn to scale. Some examples of
hross armament are:

Tommy gun

Browning Automatic Rifle (BAR -- immobile)

Anti-Tank gun

surface to surface missiles

two grenades (when one is thrown, the counter is flipped to the one-grenade
side. When this is thrown, the counter is replaced with an unarmed hross
counter. Missiles work in a similar fashion)

Poisoned darts

Laser rifle

small nuclear warhead

Large nuclear warhead

Very Large nuclear warhead

Very Very Large nuclear warhead

Nuclear bomb

Pea Shooter

Warm Water (there's loads of this on Malacandra).

The game board is divided into hexes (short for hexagons, not witches'
curses). Direction of facing means absolutely nothing. Movement is
based on these hexes and so is range of weapons. A counter may move, during
its movement segment, a number of hexes up to and including its movement allowance
in any direction (including turning). All hnakra have a movement allowance
of twelve.

The hross players frequently (in fact, almost always) have ranged weapons.
The range of these are printed on their counters. The kill probability (see
Combat) is reduced by one for a target that is more than 1/3 of the weapon's
maximum range distant. It's reduced by two if the target is more than 2/3
of the weapon's maximum range distant. All ranges are expressed in hexes
(determined by the minimum number of hexes in the weapon's path. Range zero
is in the same hex).

COMBAT

Combat between enemy (or friendly) counters is simultaneous. This means that
if you are hit with a nuclear warhead you may still attack before you're blown into
a zillion pieces and places.

All counters have an attack value based on the strength of the weaponry used.
Hnakra have an understood attack value of 8; unarmed hrossa have an attack strength
of 4. When making an attack, take the attack value of the attacker and refer
to the following chart (subtract one from the die roll if the defender is a hross):

Die roll

1-3

4-5

6-8

9-12

13-19

20-39

40-54

55-69

70+

(-1)

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

X

(0)

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

X

X

1

--

--

--

--

--

--

X

X

X

2

--

--

--

--

--

X

X

X

X

3

--

--

--

--

X

X

X

X

B

4

--

--

--

X

X

X

X

B

B

5

--

--

X

X

X

X

B

B

B

6

--

X

X

X

X

B

B

B

B

"X" indicates "target destroyed"
"B" indicates "target destroyed" and an explosion results which attacks
everyone in that hex and the six surrounding hexes with an attack strength of six,
nine if you feel sadistic.
Die rolls of (-2) never do anything.

If an attack has limited uses (grenades, missiles, etc.), a hross may attack
without using a charge, but he or she does so as an unarmed hross.

OPTIONAL RULES

Terrain -- All terrain in hnakra valley (a handramit) is all the same:
flat. Terrain never enters into the combat procedures. Nice rule, huh?

Weather -- See Terrain rule.

Potholes -- Like I said, make your own pothole rules you nitwit.

LENGTH OF GAME

Don't stop playing until you feel like it.

Sorns -- These are humanoids 18 feet tall and as thin as a human. They
designed the Hrossa's weaponry.

Pfifiltriggi -- near-sighted mole men the size of a goat with
unrponounceably long Hawaiian names. They built the Hrossa's weaponry.

Hrossa -- huge, poetic seals. They stole the Hrossa's weaponry.

Hnakra -- sharks. They got killed by the Hrossa's weaponry.

Hnakra Scare Tactics -- If a hnakra charges a hross, but does not reach its
hex during the hnakra movement segment, it may attempt to perform a "scare tactic"
(determine chance of this by player agreement or disagreement). Scare tactics
involve growling, yelling, snapping their teeth, playing JAWS music, and just
generally trying to be scary. The hross being attacked (the one the hnakra
failed to charge, you dingle-brain!) rolls a single die. (Well, actually,
hrossa don't have any dice, but the owning player can roll it.) Add this to
the range from hross to hnakra. If the total is "4" or more, the hross is
unaffected. Otherwise, the hross loses any weapons it was carrying (replace
it with an "unarmed hross" counter), goes one hex in the opposite direction of the
hnakra, and must use the upcoming Yelling & Cheering Segment by shrieking with
fright. Note that the hnakra scare tactic is done during the Attack Segment,
so the affected hross can still attack that game-turn.

Hross Armor -- All hrossa are assumed to be armored. Players may wish
to experiment with "unarmored hrossa," either to balance a scenario or just to get
even. Unarmored hrossa have two added to their movement allowance (giving
unarmed hrossa a higher movement allowance than hnakra). Attacks
directed against unarmored hrossa add one to the die roll, rather than
subtract one like they normally do. Armor may be removed at any time when
using this rule, and on the turn it is removed (that must be done at the end
of the Movement Segment) the armor may be thrown at hnakra as an attack strength
six, range three weapon. To represent the unarmored hrossa, place underneath
each one of the counters that says, "

[At this point in the original manuscript, I ran out of paper and had to continue
on the backs of my previous sheets. The text on the backs of the following
sheets was written upside-down so as not to be construed as having been interlaced
between earlier pages. A note at the bottom of the last right-side-up page
reads, "The next pages will be upside-down. This is only for symbolic
reasons."]

SCENARIOS

1. Short ScenarioOne hnakra is placed in hex number 2315. The players set up their
hrossa in any hexes numbered 01xx to 17xx. There is no limit to the
number of hrossa the players can bring in.

The hnakra is armed with a nuclear bomb which it will set off during the
Nuclear Warfare Segment of the first turn. The player who has killed the
most hnakra on his/her own by the end of the game wins.

2. Long ScenarioPlayers set up hrossa in hexes beginning with the numbers 01xx through
17xx. There is no limit to the number of hrossa brought in, but they must
all be armored and cannot be armed with ranged weapons (they can use knives,
swords, bare flippers, exploding bodies, etc.)

Hnakra are set up in hexes beginning with 20xx to 30xx. Hnakra
always flee (move their full movement allowance away from) the hrossa in
this scenario. Play continues until all hnakra are killed. Note
that since hnakra have movement 12, and the maximum movement a hross can have
is 11, the game will last quite some time, especially since the boundaries of
the hex map are meaningless.

3. Hrossa Sit Around Doing Nothing ScenarioPlayers set up hrossa at various locations on the map. There are no
hnakra, and hrossa may not attack each other. OPTIONAL RULE: Movement
allowances may be voided to speed things up.

4. Hnakra Use Potholes ScenarioThere are no pothole rules in this game.

5. Free-for-all ScenarioDump all of the counters onto the playing field and start from there.
Ignore pothole counters and all counters labelled, "Your father eats refried
beans."

6.

And now . . .

The first revision of Hnakra Wars since 1983:

It's . . .

HNAKRA WARS

SECOND EDITION!!

Last updated 1-August-2003

Welcome to Hnakra Wars Second Edition! You fans who have
stayed with us, through thick and through thin, over lo these past 18 years are
about to be richly rewarded. Of course, I don't know of any person who
could have stuck with us over the last 18 years, considering that this
game wasn't even transcribed into HTML and made available over the Internet
until 1-February-2001. But we can't blame you for trying. After
all, the image of a herd of hrossa thundering across the plain in suits of
armor, blasting hell out of everything they meet with Thompson submachine guns,
is a hard one to get out of your head. And so, for your patience and
perseverance, you are about to partake of the latest, hottest,
hippest-and-happening revision to that all-time "classic" game, Hnakra
Wars!

Many of you have been asking the obvious question. Namely: Since the
hnéraki (plural of hnakra) are a fresh-water species of shark-like
creatures, what are the hrossa doing running around on foot after them?
Shouldn't the hrossa be paddling those cute little hand-made outrigger canoes
they had in the book, or be travelling in some kind of boat at the very
least?

The answer is: When Oyarsa and company left Malacandra to go fight the war on
Thulcandra (planet Earth), the hrossa decided to give themselves every
advantage over the hnéraki they could. To that end, they
froze the lakes and rivers the hnéraki had been swimming in,
forcing the poor, hapless hnéraki to thrash about on the icy
surface. The hnéraki soon learned to use their tailfins as little
makeshift feet, much the way Jabberjaw does in the cartoon of the same
name. The hrossa quickly rushed out onto the ice with their body-armor
and heavy weaponry, resulting in the Hnakra Wars scenarios we all know
and love.

NEW COUNTERS

No game revision would be complete without a whole new set of cardboard
counters to go with it, thus making all of your old counters obsolete and
requiring you to throw them all out and buy a whole new set. Thank you
for your business.

You may remember that the old counters in Hnakra Wars First Edition
looked like this:

These counters attempted to reduce a playing piece to 3 numbers: the weapon's
Attack Strength, the piece's Movement Allowance, and the weapon's Maxmimum
Range. The effect of "armor" was not printed on the counter; it was
assumed to be a simple -1 modifier to the enemy's attack roll for all hross
counters, unless you were using the "unarmored hross" rule, in which case it
was a +1 modifier to the enemy's attack roll. It was also assumed that
all types of playing pieces could turn on a dime. Obviously, such a
system breaks down if you start arming hrossa with, say, M-1 Abrams
tanks. More information needs to be expressed on the counter.

Thus, the new, improved, Second Edition counters now look like this:

The meaning of "Turn Mode," "Armor Value," "Range Penalty distance," and
"Explosion Strength" will be explained in the next two sections.

But first, since this is just an HTML page and not a "real" printing of the
Hnakra Wars Second Edition game, you probably don't have an actual
counter sheet. Therefore, we have decided to graciously list all the
types of counters included with second edition, along with all the stats that
are printed on said counters (or not-printed-on-them-but-understood-anyway, in
the case of hnakra counters). Do not be alarmed by the wimpy-looking
Attack Strengths listed on some of these counters. They are only
wimpy-looking by First Edition standards. Here in Second Edition, as you
shall see farther below, there is a new attack chart in the Combat Rules which
makes them more than adequate.

Counters available in First Edition, upgraded to the new Second Edition stat
system:

NEW MOVEMENT RULES (for vehicles)

Counters with a Turn Mode higher than zero (0), such as Tanks, are rather
clumsy. They cannot maneuver in just any old direction any time they feel
like it. For these counters, the facing of the counter on the map
does matter. It determines the direction they will move in when
they move forward.

A counter must expend at least its turn mode in movement points before
it is allowed to make a 60-degree turn to either the left or the right.
It may expend movement points either by moving directly forward, by
moving directly backward, or by staying in place. It may not move
sideways. Spending a movement point by staying in place represents the
counter coming to a stop and turning in place, or moving back-and-forth over
very short distances while turning.

NEW COMBAT RULES

Many of you have been wondering why the columns for Attack Strength in First
Edition had such wide numeric ranges, even though each range produced the same
effects. No factors ever increased or decreased a weapon's Attack
Strength, so why not just call the Attack Strengths 1, 2, 3, etc., instead of
1-3, 4-5, 6-8, etc.? Well, here in Second Edition, all that changes.

Armor Values for armored hrossa being attacked, and Range Penalties for firing
weapons at long ranges, are no longer subtracted from the attack die
roll shown on the left side of the attack chart. Instead, they are
subtracted from the attacker's Attack Strength, resulting in the Attack
Value shown across the top of the attack chart. Thus, the (0) and
(-1) die rolls are no longer possible. The range of Attack Values in each
column of the old First Edition attack chart were kinda weird, too, with little
rhyme or reason to them, and needed to be regularized to take the new Armor
Value rules into account. Thus, here in Second Edition, the new attack
chart now looks like this:

Attack Strength – Range Penalty – Armor Value

Die roll

3 or less

4-6

7-9

10-12

13-15

16-18

19 or more

1

—

—

—

—

—

—

X

2

—

—

—

—

—

X

X

3

—

—

—

—

X

X

X

4

—

—

—

X

X

X

X

5

—

—

X

X

X

X

X

6

—

X

X

X

X

X

X

"—" indicates "no effect"
"X" indicates "target destroyed"

The target's Armor Value is printed on its counter. Every hnakra
has an Armor Value of zero (0). Unarmored hrossa, if you are using the
optional unarmored hrossa rule, have an Armor Value of -3; that is, 3 is
added to the Attack Value, rather than subtracted from it, to represent
what a bunch of fragile wimps hrossa are when they're unprotected.

An attack's Range Penalty is calculated by counting the distance between
the attacker and the target, and dividing this distance by the Range Penalty
distance printed on the attacker's counter, rounded down. Thus, if a
Tommy gun counter (with a Range Penalty distance of 3) were attacking a target
0-2 hexes away, its Range Penalty would be 0; if its target were 3-5 hexes
away, the Range Penalty would be 1; if its target were 6-8 hexes away, the
range penalty would be 2; et cetera. Note that no counter can attack a
target farther away than its Maxmimum Range (which is also printed on
its counter, right below the Range Penalty distance).

EXPLOSIONS: Some counters have an "Explosion Strength" in addition to an
attack strength. Whenever a counter with an Explosion Strength higher
than zero (0) makes an attack, an explosion results in the target's hex
and in the six hexes immediately surrounding the target's hex. This
explosion happens whether or not the original attack succeeded in destroying
its target. Every counter, friend or foe, in one of the 7 hexes
affected by the explosion is attacked with an Attack Strength equal to the
Explosion Strength of the counter that made the original attack, with no Range
Penalty.

Note that if the target of the original attack is not destroyed by the original
attack, it will be attacked again by the explosion. It is possible for a
target to survive the original attack and then be immediately destroyed by the
explosion. Note also that a counter with an "Explosion Strength" is
allowed to attack a hex with no counters in it, in order to maximize the
number of enemy counters caught in the blast.

NEW OPTIONAL RULES

Terrain — While most terrain will be the nice, even, smooth
surface ice of a frozen lake or river, some terrain will be more difficult to
negotiate. There might be boulders sticking up out of the middle of the
frozen river. Maybe there are trees. Maybe the other hrossa tribe
spread an oil slick over part of the ice to impede your movement. Every
hex on the playing map that has such impediments is considered to be "Difficult
Terrain"

Every hex of Difficult Terrain must be either marked or written down in such a
way that both players know which hexes are Difficult Terrain and which hexes
are not. Shading them in with a pencil is one possibility, but then
you'll either have to play with the same Difficult Terrain hexes in the
next game or erase them, and if you erase a cheap paper hexmap too often you'll
wear a hole in it and then you'll have to buy another one. Come to think
of it, that's a wonderful idea. Mark each hex of difficult terrain
in heavy pencil, and then erase it between each game. Yeah, that's
it. That's the ticket. When your hexmap falls apart from being
written on and erased too many times, you may order a new, overpriced
replacement hexmap from us. Thank you for your business.

In game terms, if a counter is in a hex of Difficult Terrain, it must expend
two (2) movement points during its Movement Segment if it wishes to leave that
hex. A counter can leave a hex of normal terrain during its Movement
Segment by expending one (1) movement point, as always. If a counter is
in a hex of Difficult Terrain and only has 1 movement point left this turn, or
only has a Movement Allowance of 1, it is stuck in that hex for the remainder
of the turn. Note that, if a vehicle counter with a Turn Mode higher than
0 is in a Difficult Terrain hex, it still only costs its Turn Mode in movement
points to stay in place and turn 60 degrees to either side. Difficult
Terrain only costs double movement points to leave, not double movement
points to turn around in.