Fuck Ben Carson

You know, the only thing more alarming than Donald Trump leading the Republican presidential field is the fact that Ben Carson is the guy right behind him. While establishment puds like Jeb! Bush and Marco Rubio can’t decide if they want to beat Trump or emulate him, the Good Doctor made it clear this week that he is not only willing to replicate Trump’s signature brand of hot-garbage-spewing, but he’ll say even DUMBER shit. Here is Carson from earlier in the week on the Oregon shooter:

"Not only would I probably not cooperate with him, I would not just
stand there and let him shoot me. I would say, ‘Hey, guys, everybody
attack him. He may shoot me, but he can’t get us all.’ ”

Oh, but he wasn’t done yet. Carson knows a goldmine of asinine cannon fire when he sees it, so he went in again:

“I never saw a body with bullet holes that was more devastating than
taking the right to arm ourselves away.”

“I have had a gun held on me when I was in a Popeyes organization.
Guy comes in, put the gun in my ribs. And I just said, ‘I believe that
you want the guy behind the counter.’ ”

That’s right, Carson just threw the poor cashier right under the bus. Whatever happened to having everyone attack the gunman, Doctor? Does that strategy get tossed out the window when there’s a convenient low-level cashier around to take the brunt of the crossfire?

Here’s the thing: I don’t believe Carson when he says any of this. I bet he wasn’t even held up at that chicken joint. Carson is a soft-spoken fella who knows that he has to make even sillier comments than the competition just so that his silly comments are heard. You saw Bobby Jindal do the same thing this week when he called out the Oregon shooter’s father as the main culprit in the massacre. You are now bearing witness to an arms race of stupid, because stupid is in such high demand from the GOP base at the present moment. Stupid is what gets you attention, and attention is what gets you better polling numbers.

You are now bearing witness to an arms race of stupid, because stupid is in such high demand from the GOP base at the present moment.

But there’s more to it. Some of these guys have done a cynical bit of calculus and are betting that the Stupid Vote constitutes the majority of the American electorate. And maybe they’re right, but that’s not exactly the most encouraging view to have of the people you wish to serve. I don’t want a president who regards his constituents with the same kind of contempt I have for GQ’s Facebook commenters (sorry, but you are all terrible people). Donald Trump, for all of his bluster, is at least authentically stupid. Read this story if you don’t believe me. All these other guys are clown posers. Trump is the genuine article.

And, God help me, I think I’d rather have him sitting in the Oval Office, getting stupidly out-maneuvered by the politicians under him, than bringing in a guy like Carson who is willing to shred every last bit of his intellectual credibility in order to lord over a citizenry he doesn’t seem to have much respect for. Fuck him. If he wins office, we’ll all be that poor Popeyes clerk.

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