Dear Advice Oven, I have a friend who won't eat pie!!! what do i do?? -wisper

Normally we'd recommend murder but that has recently become illegal. You being a Piemerican shouldn't have friends who won't eat pie although Emperor MAR's all time best friend, Donliantman, was not one who would eat pie. Therefore you should carefully examine & ask why this person doesn't eat pie. And after you've wasted about 9 hours doing that you should rejoice because the less people eat pie the more pie there is for me (if I weren't so broke). A D fence isn't so smart mart. Oh yeah.. again I say rejoice & encourage others who don't like pie to buy it anyway & give it to Emperor MAR for safekeeping because his large tum is like a vault of pieardly goodness. And remember if you turn the hose on them then the hose won't have any friends left.