5 Reality TV tactics we're totally over

Kat Hobza resides in sunny Western Montana. She is the Senior Authoress Specializing in Sarcasm at www.funnyfreelance.com. Okay, she’s the only authoress at funny freelance. When she’s not formulating tongue-in-cheek ideas and content as...

How is that real, exactly?

Reality TV is addictive and no one is immune. There are a few flawed reality TV practices that are driving us crazy, however, and we need them to stop.

How is that real, exactly?

Reality TV is addictive and no one is immune. There are a few flawed reality TV practices that are driving us crazy, however, and we need them to stop.

Binge drinking

Would reality TV exist without the extravagant consumption of alcohol? Probably not. At this point, we could almost call it "drunk TV." If we look at The Bachelor, the gals do a decent job of holding it together during the day, but when the moon and booze comes out, it's go time. Whatever drama exists between the women goes into overdrive. The same tried-and-true format exists in The Real Housewives franchise. These shows prove that all you have to do is take a group of women who can act decent to one another when they have to (even though under the surface they are all jealous of one another), add alcohol and watch the tears and claws come out. Where would Jersey Shore have been without a fully stocked bar?

Filler

Dear God, save the world from reality TV filler. This has got to be one of the most annoying tactics of reality TV, and it can go — as in yesterday. Do producers of these shows mistake our morbid fascination with reality TV for stupidity? When we come back from commercials, we don't need a two minute recap of what we saw before the commercials! We also don't need the Bachelor to silently count to 10 in his head before issuing roses. And we love Chris Harrison, but we don't need him to come out from back stage and tell us what we already know — that there is one rose left. We can count! This isn't Sesame Street for crying out loud. "We have one rose, one rose left! Mwah ah ah ah."

Cat fights

A side effect of binge drinking is the cat fight. Some women, like the ones on The Real Housewives of Atlanta and The Real Housewives of Orange County, fight with verbal venom which is uncomfortable to watch. However, they have nothing on shows like Mob Wives where throwing glasses and punches at your "friend" while pulling her hair is a daily event. This aspect of reality TV is sort of taking the "real" out of "reality." Who among us has time for friends who would treat us this way? Puh-leeze.

Night-vision

Another reality TV tactic we're not in love with is the night vision camera in people's bedrooms. Gross. We really don't need to see drunk people in a twin bed hook up under the green glow of a night vision camera, usually with other people sleeping right next to them! When is that ever OK? It reminds us of those heat-seeking images from Bigfoot expeditions. That's just information we can do without.

The walk-and-talk

Reality TV made the toe-curling habit of talking to someone with your speaker phone on acceptable. Now, thanks to reality TV, people think it's cool to talk to someone on speaker phone when it is completely unnecessary. Perhaps these are the same people who think the bluetooth headset walk-and-talk in stores is permissible. Not OK.