Two Heads are Better Than One

After Phoenix and the others had left, Gary leaned back in his chair and watched Lia play cards. he like playing cards but
had never been interested in learning to play solitaire. However he liked watching Lia, concentrate on the cards in front
of her. After a few minutes he decided he had seen enough and he had more pressing matters on his mind. So without
any preamble, he spoke, "When the Eclipse gets here, I'd like you to be my First Officer." Then sat back to watch Lia's
reaction.

As she played solitaire her mind wandered from subject to subject, then she heard Gary say something odd. "What! Are you sure? I mean there's gotta be better choices around, and what does the Captain think? I know you, and you wouldn't do this with out her say so". She sat upright and thought about the question, "First Officer?? Hmmmmm, that could prove the straw that breaks the Camels back". She put down her cards, "Why me? Are you sure I'm the right one, or is it because of other reasons?" Lia turned to face Gary, "Our little romance is all over the ship, this kind of thing might bring adverse reactions from people". She shifted in her seat, "While we're alone, can we talk? It's about us, moving on, if you know what I mean?"

He nodded, "Yes, I'm sure. You heard the Captain, I can name my own XO, so that's you." He shook his head, :What do you mean why you? Your smart, you have tactical experience and you speak your mind. All qualities a First Officer needs. Other reasons? You mean us being in a relationship? No, I'm choosing you because you are best for the job." He met her gaze directly. "Is it? How so? Who else is qualified to be XO? Matias is an engineer and I need him there. I'm going to make Liselle my second officer anyone else is too junior to hold the position." He continued to look at her, "Aren't we talking now?" He questioned and then held a hand up to stop any angry or sarcastic reply. "Yes, we can talk, what's on your mind about us that we need to talk about?"

"Just what each of us wants out of this relationship, for a start". Lia wanted to continue with the First Officer argument, but could tell Gary was in one of those type of moods. "How far do you intend to go with this? Is it permanent? Or is it just a notch on the bed post thing?" She now held up her hand to stop Gary jumping in and arguing, "I'm scared to make the commitment for a full on sexual relationship, I don't honestly know if I can handle that. Sometimes I think (why not?) then I start getting scared that you won't like me. Or I'm not open enough for you, or willing to try other ways of..............Well you know". She stood up and walked to the far side of the room, "I've been a sex toy for more than one man, I knew what THEY wanted because they TOLD me what they were gonna do to me". She sat down on a chair, "This sounds terrible but it's best if you know, I'm not a prude, but then somethings are just too much for me to agree with. And that's what scares me with you, I don't want to upset you when you make a demand. Sorry, suggestion and I say no". She crossed her legs and squeezed her thighs together, being alone here right now. She felt vulnerable.

Gary sat quietly as Lia talked asked her questions and told him how she felt. He couldn't help but notice she crossed her legs in his presence. Even now she was afraid of him despite all he had told her and that hurt. When it came time to reply, he did so in a calm, even voice. "Lia, I know your scared and afraid of commitment let alone a sexual one. But haven't I shown you I'm not like the other men you have known? I haven't pressured you or made demands on you. If I say something and you don't like it say so. Only by talking can we come to an understanding. Self expression isn't a problem of yours. As to how far I want to go, isn't that something you should have a say in as well? And you are not a notch on the bed post and I really wish you'd stop refer to yourself with so little regard. You are bright, smart and beautiful and you need to accept that." He shook his head but remained seated his eyes tracking her. "You need to learn how to trust and that takes time but you can trust me. I think I've proven that."

Lia looked down at the floor, "Trusting you isn't the problem, it's the physical side of our relationship I'm talking about. It's the touchy feely side that everyone does, I'm having problems with". She slowly walked back over to him and held his hand, "Your a man, and despite what you say you want that intimate part of a relationship to enjoy it. And I get that, honestly I really get that. But maybe I'm not the one that can give you that, maybe I'm that used to being abused I no longer function normally". She placed his hand on her breast, "Even doing this scares me, and I did it myself". She removed his hand, "That is what I'm saying, its something that simple with our clothes on and I'm already thinking about heading for the door. Now do you understand? Now are you so sure you want a partner, that you may never be able to touch sexually or arouse her?" She sat back down next to Gary, "Stupid isn't it, something so normal but completely alien for me to enjoy".

Gary leaned his head against hers, "Lia it isn't stupid not in the least. You have gone through a traumatic episodes over what should have been a loving experience and you have been burned very badly and it is going to take time maybe a lot of time but you and I have to be patient and get through this together. " He turned her head so she could look at him. "I'm not giving up on you Lia don't you give up on us."

"Giving up? How do you give up something you never had? Gary I think your flogging a dead horse, my sex drive doesn't exist". She moved closer but kept looking at the ground, "We make a great pair, we can't even seem to keep our relationship safe. Its either you or me that screws it up, right now it's me and my bloody hang ups. SEX, when did it become so central to being in love???" She looked at Gary and gave him a weak smile, "Guess we should just watch the monitors, after all its what they left us here to do". She stood up and went and sat back where she started, "I love you, but I will understand if you stray".

"Will you please stop it? Stop telling me that I'm flogging a dead horse or you aren't worth it. I think you are worth it. I don't care that the whole ship knows. In fact it's great, we don't have to sneak around. Sex, isn't central to a relationship Lia. Love, respect, compassion and trust are much more important and one final thing no one has screwed anything up." He sighed and shook his head, "See? Your doing it now. Putting yourself down or selling me short. I love you too Lia and I'm not straying. Its just the way it is but if you don't want me, then you tell me now." As he turned and looked at the monitors.

Gary's last statement hit the wrong button in Lia's somewhat depressed brain, "Don't want you? Don't want you?? I've given you more than one chance to walk away, but did you leave? I guess not since we're here having this little talk". She turned to face him, "You are I suppose my first love affair, everything before this was more a one way street of male demands. Yet you fail to grasp that one simple fact, I'm flying blind here. I don't know how to have a love affair, so I want to make it as perfect as I can. How does a woman act when a man say's he loves and trusts her?" She turned back to the monitors, "Have you forgotten the question I asked you, How do you love someone?" Her hands hit the console hard, "I want you more than you'll ever know, but I don't know if I'm right for you. Like I said before I'M SCARED, scared of loosing you by making a stupid mistake. That's why I keep lowering your expectations of me, so if I don't match up I might not loose you". Her anger kept her looking at the screen in front of her, because she knew if she looked at Gary she might say or do something which could make him leave her.

Gary looked at her, "News flash Lia, we are in a love affair as for flying blind there aren't instructions on how to act or what to say, you just do what you think is right. There is no reason for you to be scared but I understand your feelings. I know you are right for me and you need to stop overreacting and stressing on making a mistake cause stressing is just going to cause you to make more. Lose the excess baggage by worrying about me. If I don't like something I know how to speak up and tell you."

Taking a deep breath Lia slowly looked at Gary, "That maybe easier said than done, things are never that simple". She sat looking at Gary, "You have baggage as well, how much of it have you lost since we met?" Lia turned back to the monitors, "You could be right about the no instructions, but as for doing what I feel is the right thing to do. Is that wise for someone like me? I have some off the wall ideas you know, I don't always go with the flow". Fiddling with the controls she began to scan the Elysium, "Ok Gary lets do what we think is right, but if at the end of it you don't want me around just tell me". Lia now smiled as she worked, oO Perhaps he will see, I'm no angel Oo.

"Of course it's easier said than done Lia but anything worth having is worth working for." Gary countered "As for baggage and how much I've lost, I think I'm more open than I was when we firsr met and more willing to discuss thngs so that's something." He continued to look at her, "Lia, you have to be you. Be true to yourself. Don't do what you think I want or what others want. Do what you want. It's the only way you can be happy." He watched as she fiddled with the monitor's controls. "I'm not going to say that, so stop bringing it up." He nodded at the monitor, "Anything?"

Thinking on what Gary was saying she nodded, "I'll give it a go, but don't be shocked at what happens. Now as for our Elysium, I have a works party that seems intent on breaking our CEO's lock out code. Would you call that strange?"

Gary smiled,"Thatagirl! That's the spirit" He got up and walked to where she sat.Leaning over her shoulder he looked at the monitor. "I would indeed call that strange. Lets see just what this work party is up to but lets alert the Captain and the others to what is going on."

She reached up and stroked his face, "Aye aye sir". Lia smiled again as she zoomed in on the work party, "Holmes to the Captain, we have a work party attempting to break the CEO's lock out code". She pushed back into Gary, "When this is over, I think we need to be alone. Don't hold out to much hope, but maybe if you go very slow you might be able to go boldly. If you get my meaning". Lia blushed as she spoke, but knew just what she was saying. She was inviting Gary to be more intimate with her, despite their little talk they'd just had. oO Grasp the nettle Oo, she thought to her self. Looking up into his face she blew him a kiss, "It may come to nothing, but I'm willing to try. But please don't rush me, if I say stop". She let the statement hang, how would Gary react?

Gary's eyes closed briefly as Lia stroked his face. They opened as she said her next and them being alone. "Sounds like a great idea Lia. We can certainly give it a go and see what happens. Giving it a try is half the battle Lia. No rushing you, we'll proceed at a pace you are comfortable with. If you say stop, I'll stop." He assured her.

She returned her gaze back to the monitor, "Right, I'll try and be girly for you. Now as for our uninvited guests, it would appear their efforts are
begining to bare success".

"Lia, one step at a time remember?" He looked at the monitor, "It appears you are correct."