Wednesday, August 01, 2007

The journey has just begun. Lots has happened over the course of the last year. Lots of ups and downs. Lots of frustration, anger, confusion, lots of masti, excitement, love. Ultimately I have been happy through the ups and down, following my heart, trying to listen to the voice within. It hasn't been easy. There have been plenty of moments where I have had my doubts and have been confused and thought it shouldn't be so hard. But I've been blessed with so many people in my life to guide me and support me and bring me back when I venture off a bit too far. Going to Mount Kailash was a powerful journey and many things have happened quite rapidly since then.

Time has come to transition, new way is being lit on the path and the heart compels me to follow the road. There has been immense personal growth in the last five years and its time to really let it all sink in before moving forward. As you might be aware from previous emails ( this and this were the last two), music is playing a larger and larger role in my life and is now a permanent fixture. I don't know what my relationship is going to be with it as the years go on, but somehow I will always be connected to it. So its time for introspection and serious individual learning. I want to be able to practice tabla for 4-5 hours a day instead of barely getting in 1-2 hours (there have been many times where its not even been 3 hours in a week!). I have questions about the world and what reality really is, so I want to understand what the learned has to say, so I will be learning Indian philosophy. I want to have the time to look within, so time to meditate. I want to take care of my body, so yoga/gym. Read and Write. So philosophy and basic tabla training, and while that's happening - yoga, meditate, read, write, play, learn. From there what happens- we'll see.

Before I can take the plunge into indian classical music training I need to complete my basic training. I need to prove to myself and Guru that I am capable of diving in. When I finish my basic tabla training, I'll have a better understanding of how I want music to play a role in my life. Music is an infinite ocean, if i think about swimming across, I'll get frustrated and disappointed. Its really all about enjoying each wave to its fullest. (i mean i get a kick out of my basic compositions...). My personal goal at the moment is to get myself to a playing level where I will be good enough to play a solo at Guru Purnima next year... let's see. (btw that can be Guru Purnima in India or the US since my Guru has schools all over the world).

Essentially it's time for a time-out from the world and time to focus on me and do the stuff I had wanted to do when I came to India. So I am taking the time to learn some of the best things India has to offer the world- its philosophers and music. It's not going to be easy, a lot of people don't understand or get it, but I am ultimately putting 100% trust in myself and inner voice, which is connected to the soul of the universe. Everything will go from there. "Everything is clearer when you are in love" and I am in love- with myself, with music and with the world, so the doors will keep opening when it is meant to be.

So that's the current life and times of Heena Patel. I'm happy and continually marveling at the way the universe works, it really is kya baat hai.

I've been the jack of all trades and master of none. But as the learned have said - sab sadhe, sab jaye, ek sadhe, sab sadhe. From an engineer and dancer, I've turned into a tabla student and am training to become a professional classical tabla player in a male-dominated field. Through my journey into sound, I seek to know my self.