Ever buy goldfish? You go to the pet store and there’s this huge tank full of the little orange fish. You call over the shopkeeper and tell her to grab the net. You’ll need to pick more than one … you don’t want your fish swimming alone. She grabs the net and you stare into the tank.

Which ones do you want? You’ll want healthy fish. Good, energetic swimmers. But there are so many to choose from. And you want to be sure to avoid those aggressive betas, they have a tendency to choke the general manager. (Oh, wait, my metaphor is getting ahead of itself.)

This is the chore Bo Porter and Jeff Luhnow must deal with this spring in selecting the Astros bullpen. You’ve got a whole mess of orange fish all looking for a new home. “Pick me!” they all cry. But beware; chances are more than a few will go belly up the minute you get them home, then you’re right back at the pet store looking at that tank full of fish again.

Starts season in Minors: 35% … I think it’s time to see what he does in the 713.

Pitches in HOU eventually in 2012: 90% … again, it’s the role that’s the big question

First, a couple of notes: Other than Cosart, I didn’t include minor league pitchers who have spent most of their life as starters. Just too many options otherwise. Also, I think I figured out this “Options” thing, but if I’m wrong, just politely correct me. There’s no easy place to find that information on some of these guys, so sue me if I’m wrong.

Figuring a 12-man pitching staff, we’re looking for seven fish for our tank, and as mentioned above, this will be a revolving door during the season. We’ll see at least a dozen relievers during the season if not more.

Likely Scenario: There really is no “Best-case” with these guys, but here’s what’s likely. Veras is our closer. Wright and either Fields, Ambriz or Demel handle set-up duties. Cedeño makes the team as more of a lefty specialist than Wright, who pitches against lefties and righties. That leaves one spot which likely get taken by either Cruz or Cosart. I’m pulling for Cosart, and Cruz is the first of many to be called up.

Grade: D … Losing F-Rod lowered this from a D+ to a regular D for me. Unless one or two of these guys suddenly amaze us—or if we make a trade in spring training—I think that’s a grade that will stick.

Just make sure to clean the tank once in a while.

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Brian Todd live in Rochester, MN, and he occasionally relieves the starter on his co-ed softball team. Things generally do not improve.