Well, today, the Miami New Times, who had the original story, reports on some folks from USC who would claim they wrote the song and copyrighted it, back in 1955, except for that one of those fellows died in 1986 and the other died in 1991. No matter!

"If this guy is claiming that he wrote it, he's lying," says Tony Fox, director of the USC Trojan Marching Band. "USC has been using it since the 1950s. He's full of you-know-what."

"If he's copyrighted it, then he's violated Tommy and Dick's copyright," says Milo Sweet of Sweet Music, Inc., the record label which filed for the original license. "His copyright is worthless."

This story's redeeming value comes only from all of the fake-sounding names: Dick Winslow, Milo Sweet, and Bobby Kent (whose copyright is filed under "Ira Brandwein"). Did you know that Rodney Dangerfield (also a stage name) once went by "Jack Roy?"

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Yes, that sound you hear is Arnold Schoenberg rolling over in his grave, with serialism.