Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Hey, Even Mama Bears Have Feelings

This afternoon I realized we were out of milk. We’re all sick and DH is out of town, but the world would spin off its axis if this household were ever without milk (no fruity pebbles! no hot cocoa! the horror!), so I had no choice but to de-pajama everyone and run to the store.

Fever apparently has a calming effect because they were angels at the store, listening (miracle) and just sort of meekly following me around as I grabbed the essentials - you know, milk and shampoo and chocolate.

We stopped in the Christmas aisle where I let them hang out for a while, pushing every button on every dancing, singing, bum shaking Christmas “decoration” they could find. (Who actually buys those things? I can't believe the market for those monstrosities is so vast, and yet they appear to be a huge profit center, since every grocery store and corner market on earth carries them.) I idly watched as some teenage girls, young and dumb and having a blast, pushed each other around in carts, squealing and laughing.

The blond girl pushing the cart popped a wheelie while the brunette girl inside the cart shrieked in protest. I kept thinking that if the cart tipped over, that girl was going to crack her head open and whatever brains were actually in there would leak out all over the floor. Clean up in aisle seven, stat.

When my head was ready to explode we got our caravan moving again, with Carter inside the cart and the girls holding onto either side as they walked. We steered toward a check-out lane and WHAM. The teenage girls came out of nowhere, ramming their cart smack into Abby at full speed, knocking her flat and pushing Sarah over for good measure.

I immediately went into full mama bear mode and yelled at the twits as I picked up my sobbing little girls. “What are you DOING?! This isn’t a playground, GROW UP!”

Abby had a nice purple lattice mark engraved on her face (that deepened over the course of the afternoon into a rich, rough bruise) and a pinched finger, but Sarah seemed none the worse for wear, just a little shocked and upset.

“Is there something I can do? Are they alright? I’m so sorry,” the blond babbled on and on and ON. I shot her a dirty look thinking, NO, you idiot, there’s nothing you can do. You’ve done enough.

After a minute or two of hugs, Sarah and Abby calmed down, and tears wiped away, we stood up. Somewhat impressively, the teenagers were still standing there, waiting to take their medicine.

I cocked my head to the side and put a hand on my hip, ready to let loose a few choice, cutting words of reprimand – my unfortunate specialty. I narrowed in on the cart driver.

She had tears in her eyes. I softened a little. She clearly felt awful about what had been, after all, an accident.

“Can I do something?” she asked plaintively. “What can I do? I’m so sorry.” She crouched down next to Abby and said, “I’m so sorry.”

As I tried to figure out what the right thing to say would be, something that would satisfy my maternal anger without completely crossing the line, Abby took over. She apparently had things SHE wanted to say and she drew herself up to her full four year old height.

Tears dripped out of her big green eyes as she looked at the girl accusingly. “You made me fall down,” she said shakily, holding my hand.

The injustice of the accident was too much for her to take and she started to cry again, her words punctuated with little sobs.

69 comments:

I love this story!I'm sooo glad the girls were remorseful. You hear too many stories today about teenage punks not caring about their actions. And I'm glad you tamed the mama bear (but I would have been very tempted to eat them alive!) and I'm glad your baby bears are okay. How sweet!

That is so sweet! I love the way that your little girl was brave enough to say how she felt, a lot of kids would have been too shy! That's so cute that she had you give the teen a hug too! Can't beat that, almost a win, win at the end!

Wow. I think Abby handled that very well. What a sweetie! You also handled that well. I probably would have just let it rip and made things worse. Those girls will think twice before doing something stupid like that again.

Fine. Now I am more than a little in love with you that you DID hug some random teenager in Smiths today! How cool of a mother are YOU that even a little kid knows how it works... to show forth an increase of love after you chastise with sharpness.

oooh Abbey, I want to squeeze her and watch Dora together or something. I have my own Abby niece and oddly they look quite bit a like. Good for her for being able to speak her mind, I see big things ahead for this little blondie!

And I think that's the problem with teenagers today, they don't get enough hugs.

What a sweet story, even if there was a little pain and suffering. The photo is ADORABLE.

I know who buys all those dancing, butt shaking Christmas decorations -- there's a house near me (but not TOO near) that puts out tens of thousands of lights every year and they have a wee cottage just filled with all those dancing, butt shaking Christmas things.

Oh my gosh...this story is so sad for everyone involved. The girls got hurt, which hurts the mom worse, and those teenage girls will be shaken up for days.I'm glad you huggged her...I don't think she needed any more reprimands. She's probably still crying at home today.Glad everyone is ok. Teenagers are so stupid.

Ah, Sue. This is a great post. I hope the girls are both okay. I think you handled this perfectly and I'm glad the girls showed remorse for their stupid and thoughtless acts. And I also think it's good that they got a little reminder that they aren't the only people alive in this world--it seems to be a growing epidemic that most people think they are the only ones on the road or in a store or whatever. Ya did good.

That is awesome. Way to be the bigger person, Mom! And I would have had a tough time not flying off the handle had one of my children gotten hurt - wow you showed some amazing self restraint, and it was the right thing to do in this situation.

That is the cutest picture of sweet Abby!!! I am glad that your girls are okay. I immediately got mad at those teenage girls while reading your post. I'm not even the mama but just the aunt and those protective feelings are still there. It sounded like you handled it well and those teenage girls will never be the same.

Everyone already said it in their comments: kudos to your girl for speaking up for herself; kudos to mom for pausing in her righteous anger which gave her daughter the chance to speak; and kudos to the teenagers who may be two less narcissistic people in this world after a lesson well learned. So glad no one needed a visit to the ER.Also -- I am one of those hapless owners of those bum-wagging noise makers. Except that my two preschoolers love them and they proved minutes and minutes of entertainment. And in my defense, the ones I have were gifts.

I am proud of you both. What a great lesson in compassion and forgiveness, and from a four-year-old! Evidence of wonderful parenting by you and your hubby. Thank you for posting it. I hope you are all feeling better and can enjoy the holidays ahead.

I have a feeling I'm going to see this in the "Latter-Day Saint Journal" section of the Ensign in about 20 years. "The little girl told her mom she should hug me. Then she did. That day I learned a great lesson about forgiveness and love and Chirstlike behavior..."

Yep, you're so going to be talked about in the Ensign.

Hope you guys are feeling better. Next time, though, order the milk online and have the grocery store deliver it.

My mother buys animated bum-waggers. Then she tries to give them to me because she has too many. "Would you like some of these to decorate your house?" Ummmm, no. But thanks, Mom. I don't want to hurt her feelings with the whole truth, so I just tell her I don't have room to store them. (Which is also true.)

Yay for you and your little one...but yay, too, for the teenage girls for staying there and not skulking off in shame. That takes a lot of guts to stick around and face the punishment--especially from an angry mama bear.

I am impressed at your reserve! Question: If Abbey hadn't told you to "give her a love", what do you think you would've done? I'm just surprised you didn't start swearing. I guess you DO live in Utah...oh, and maybe you don't swear.

Nicki - what a good question. I probably would have just told them to be more careful next time, to watch what they were doing. I'm no saint at ALL, (and I've definitely been known to let a few choice swear words fly when I'm upset - hey, don't forget I was raised in Vegas ;>) but I wouldn't have yelled at them, not at that point. They looked so pitiful and upset. They really were full of remorse, it was obvious.

I was so so impressed that they didn't try to play it off, or make excuses, or make a joke out of it. They were good kids. Just - acting stupid. As teenagers will. (Man, I feel so old, referring to teenagers as kids.)

Now if they hadn't been as sorry as they were? I would have chased them out of the store.

My kids are a good influence on me. Hard not to at least try to live up to what they think of you. I may not always be a great person, but they THINK I am. They remind me what I SHOULD be. What I should be trying to be. Abby was just looking up at me, all expectantly like, of COURSE you're gonna give her a love.

Awwwwww, that was so sweet. All the way around. Excellent post. Yes, it's great those girls knew to stick around and take their medicine. Kind of gives me a little hope for the future of our country when they do that instead of just shrugging and leaving.

And good for you, Mama Bear, for not only maintaining maternal decorum, but for training your little girl to be kind enough to recognize a sincere apology and to want to give loves. Sooooo sweet.