4 definitions
by
autobrick

Rooted in the expression: "Hung like a horse", a Unicorn Dick or UD, refers to a exceptionally large penis with the magical powers of a Unicorn. These powers include: making women sneak out of bed with men they are dating in order to pursue the UD, making women jump from man to man looking to fill a void that only a UD can fill, and making women lie straight faced to a man they allegedly care about when confronted about sneaking out to pursue the UD.

I don't understand why she is with him, he has no job, he treats her like shit, and he spends all her money.

World Series Of Poker Bracelet winner and all-around badass Jeff Carris does not have problems like the rest of us. His problems are problems most people would love to have. A Jeff Carris Problem is not a problem, but rather a decision between two or more badass options.

For example: Jeff Carris might have to decide if it's worth his time to have sex with a mega-hot stripper. Would he rather get a lap dance while playing Call of Duty or Boom 20 K in a couple hours.

"I don't know if I want the Bugatti or the Ferrari. It's a total JCP."