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Apr 12 Questions Without Answers

Monze — My ex-husband has filed for sole custody of our two daughters. When I heard the news I cried because, I thought, even after he already has my daughters with him in North Carolina, he wanted to take them away from me even more? With the help of Dreamers Moms here in Tijuana, I was able to find an attorney that would represent me in North Carolina.

I had not seen my daughters in more than two years, and I finally was able to see them via Skype during the custody hearing. We spent nearly five hours in court — he testified in person while I was in Tijuana presenting my side [through the Internet]. My daughters stated they did not want to live with me, that they loved their father more than they loved me. There were moments of tension, moments of joy (because I at least got to see my daughters). I presented myself as best I could. I couldn't look weak, I couldn't cry or get angry.

I see families walking together in Tijuana, going out to eat. I ask myself:

What are [my daughters] doing?

How are they?

Are they eating?

Are they sleeping?

Do they miss me?

Will they still love me?

What is their life like?

How much have they grown?

How much have they changed?

I may not know the answers to these questions until the day I see them again or until they grow up. One day, when I have them in front of me, they themselves will give me their answers.