10/01/2017

Each week the Romford Recorder has the Steve Allen column. And now you can find it in the Ilford Recorder too. If you're around East London and West Essex you can buy the newspaper every Thursday/Friday, or follow @mrstevenallen to see the columns on Twitter. You can also read the archive of past ones, which can be found here.

You can click the image to zoom in on the paper, or read the column below.

It’s time for my predictions for 2017.

2016 wasn’t the easiest of years. We lost a lot of loved celebrities, especially towards the end. I can’t be the only person who has a news alert of their smartphone that tells you when a big news story breaks and in December they always seemed to be about the passing of a famous person. It got to the point where if I phone bleeped I presumed it wasn’t a text for me, it was some sad celebrity news. I’m not that popular and 2016 was that bad.

The good thing about following a bad year is that statistically things should get better. This year my prediction is more certainty. Last year we didn’t know who would be president in America, we didn’t know which way Brexit would go, we had no idea that Brangelina were on rocky ground and votes to name that research vessel Boaty McBoatface were still wide open.

2017 is already a done deal. We know that Donald Trump will get his inauguration soon. They don’t call it a crowning over there, which is good because no headgear would stay on that trained mink he has resting on his head.

We know that 2017 will include a lot of people still going on about Brexit, but like the sound of a vacuum cleaner it will eventually seem like soothing white noise.

And the remaining parts of Brangelina will be on the market again. I’m already keeping an eye on Tinder.

The only difference we have to look forward to in 2017 is the new £1 coin. It’s a 12-sided shape, a dodecagon. It basically looks like they have trimmed the current coin, which given the weaker pound seems about right.
In the coming year that’s the kind of change I’m hoping to get a lot of.