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The purpose of this thread is for all of us to have lots of fun by posting hyperlinked real-life HEADLINES (and only headlines; i.e. no quoted excerpts and stuff) of real-life NEWS articles (not editorial/opinion/commentary/blog pieces) that are so absurd/ridiculous/uproariously humorous/etc. that they could have just as easily come from The Onion.

Third:

The subject matter of the articles/stories need not be related to politics, btw, although I wouldn't be surprised if it turns that most of them are. Kinda natural, what with this being a political debate site and all.

OK. Having taken care of the not-so-fun procedural stuff, let me start things off with ...

Davis Logsdon, the head of the University of Minnesota's political-science department, said on Saturday that the eighty-year time frame for the Republican Party to recover was admittedly optimistic, but still doable."

Sending our ballots out to the county clerk today. No fraud here, no fraud here, YOU'RE the FRAUD!

I am wondering how my fellow hill dwellers will be handling their cognitive dissonance, being that this is a bright red district. My bet is that a lot will write in Romney. This is based on how long after the last national election that Romney/Ryan signs, some absurdly large, stayed up. I imagine a few will put down Perot, being as conservatism up here means living in the past, as remembered rather than as it actually was.

Sending our ballots out to the county clerk today. No fraud here, no fraud here, YOU'RE the FRAUD!

I am wondering how my fellow hill dwellers will be handling their cognitive dissonance, being that this is a bright red district. My bet is that a lot will write in Romney. This is based on how long after the last national election that Romney/Ryan signs, some absurdly large, stayed up. I imagine a few will put down Perot, being as conservatism up here means living in the past, as remembered rather than as it actually was.

Update 11/3/16:

A ride through the little towns scattered about this county showed me a lack of political yard signs, certainly an unofficial and incomplete canvasing, but still quite striking when compared to the 2012 election season. I figure nobody is all that proud about their choices, but it also could reflect a kind of apathy, not that it's not caring but that no matter what happens, people believe they'll be screwed.

I'm basing this rather shaky conclusion on the messaging this season. Nobody believes Trump's messages, and nobody trusts HRC's messages, and on top of that, it's been a bunch of bickering about crap nobody cares about, whether it's Trump's infamous sexism or HRC's damned email.

Trump wins and the markets crash because uncertainty kills them. HRC wins and taxes skyrocket because, um, it's expected from a Democrat? I don't think either effect will become reality, but I still won't put up a yard sign for other reasons. For one, I don't want to encourage donation solicitation; for another, I don't want some fool with a gun to take pot shots at anyone from this shack. And then there's the idea of a secret vote. There are very good reasons why votes need to be kept secret, for example the avoidance of paying for votes. Doesn't eliminate the possibility, but it sure makes it an iffy investment.

Anyway, the headline for today:

'Get him out!' Black Trump supporter escorted out of rally after the Donald mistakes him for a protester

I've also seen speculation that Trump can't read, which would explain his very sparse vocabulary and immature thinking. However, reading and thinking aren't requirements for the POTUS position. It's a bit sobering to realize that our cats are all eligible to run for POTUS, with the exception of age.

On the other hand, it takes the wind out of comparing Trump with Hitler because Hitler read a lot.

A ride through the little towns scattered about this county showed me a lack of political yard signs, certainly an unofficial and incomplete canvasing, but still quite striking when compared to the 2012 election season. I figure nobody is all that proud about their choices, but it also could reflect a kind of apathy, not that it's not caring but that no matter what happens, people believe they'll be screwed.

I did see an item on the news where a man was replacing his Trump sign for about the 40th time. After complaining about the frequency that they were being stolen, his local Trump Campaign HQ let him have the latest sign for free. It was reported that hey had been charging him $20 per sign,.. Perhaps that explains the prominently displayed BUSH signs in this area. (Or it might be the widely reported story that Trump has yet to open any campaign offices.)

Maybe it was the observation of the relentlessness of American politics or just an awareness of existing in a polarizing time but someone has invented a Chrome extension to restore faith in the American system.