We’ve picked the best quotes from across the news this week, including Sharon Osbourne’s views on Dannii Minogue’s alleged liaison with Simon Cowell and Chelsea’s Champions League victory over Barcelona.

‘Dannii wanted to be the mistress of Simon Cowell – and the mistress of X Factor. We all knew Simon and Dannii were seeing each other, it wasn’t a secret.’Outspoken former X Factor judge Sharon Osbourne appears to confirm the current rumours about Simon Cowell’s ‘affair’ with popstar Danni Minogue are true.

‘I’d love to be doing something like journalism.’

The Only Way Is Essex star Billie Faiers contemplates a change of career.

Radical cleric Abu Qatada has lodged an appeal against his deportation (Picture: AFP)‘It would be helpful if we had officials in the Home Office who could read a calendar.’

Anders Behring Breivik gives a right-wing salute as he arrives in court in Oslo (Picture: AFP/Getty)‘The goal was not to kill 69 people on Utoya. The goal was to kill them all.’

A stone-faced Anders Breivik speaking during his televised trial after admitting carrying out last year’s terrorist attacks in Norway.

Barcelona’s Spanish forward Pedro felt ‘foolish’ (Picture: AFP/Getty Images)‘I’m very confident we will be able to overturn it but we feel terrible because we played a great match and had a bad result. We looked like fools when they scored because we were clearly dominating.’

Barcelona’s Spanish attacker Pedro says the reigning European champions were made to look ‘like fools’ following their 1-0 first-leg defeat to Chelsea at Stamford Bridge.

Lord Alan Sugar has urged voters not to vote for Ken Livingstone (Picture: Oli Scarff/Getty Images)‘I don’t care if Ed Miliband is backing Livingstone . I seriously suggest NO ONE votes for Livingstone in the Mayoral elections’

Labour peer Lord Alan Sugar warned his 1.8million Twitter followers not to vote for Labour candidate Ken Livingstone to become the next mayor of London in next month’s elections.

Jessie J has attacked ‘boring and untrue stories’ in the press (Picture: PA)

‘Its funny how many people I’ve datedslept with that I’ve never even met according to the tabloids. BUT what’s that?! *whispers because it’s a secret* I’m really a lesbian?! Ha! Thanks for writing yet another boring untrue story‘