Retire the "Mistake by the Lake" jokes. Stop laughing at Cleveland. Loserville finally won one. LeBron James is coming home.

Cleveland just defeated Miami in the most important domestic sporting event of the month: the battle over where LeBron James would rather spend his time. Not just where he wants to play, but where he wants to live.

Now there's an upset for you.

LeBron picking Northeast Ohio over South Florida for livability has to be the best famous thing to happen to Ohio since John Glenn orbited the earth. That was in 1962. Two years later, the Browns won their last NFL championship, which also happens to be the last major sports title won by a Cleveland team.

A half century has gone by. What a nice 50th anniversary present this is for Cleveland. And Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel has to be thrilled, too. He has a new buddy to hang around with. Can you imagine the tweets?

"The Decision: The Sequel" is especially rewarding for Ohioans because it's really all about one thing: coming home.

"My relationship with Northeast Ohio is bigger than basketball," LeBron wrote in Sports Illustrated. "I didn't realize that four years ago. I do now."

As it turns out, going to Miami to play for the Heat for four years was like heading off to college, LeBron wrote. Now it's time for him to come back.

"I have two boys and my wife, Savannah, is pregnant with a girl. I started thinking about what it would be like to raise my family in my hometown. … The more time passed, the more it felt right. This is what makes me happy."

As luck would have it, it's also what makes the loyal and passionate sports fans of Northeast Ohio happy. Not to mention the Chamber of Commerce.

He's not promising a championship, at least not yet. "We're not ready right now. No way," he wrote.

WATCH: WHAT DOES LEBRON'S ARRIVAL MEAN FOR ANDREW WIGGINS?

USA TODAY Sports' Jeff Zillgitt breaks down what LeBron's decision means for the rest of the Eastern Conference.

Cleveland sports fans should be fine with that, for one simple reason: Victory already has been achieved. LeBron is coming back to them. This must sound corny to many in this transient nation of ours, but Ohioans truly care about this.

It's a Great Lakes/Big Ten thing. I'm an Ohioan, from the suburbs of Toledo, where I still own a home. Roots are insanely important to us. That's why LeBron's departure four years ago triggered such a visceral reaction in so many in Cleveland, and why his return is such a joyous moment for the area.

"I feel my calling here goes above basketball," he wrote. "I have a responsibility to lead, in more ways than one, and I take that very seriously. My presence can make a difference in Miami, but I think it can mean more where I'm from.

"I want kids in Northeast Ohio, like the hundreds of Akron third-graders I sponsor through my foundation, to realize that there's no better place to grow up. Maybe some of them will come home after college and start a family or open a business. That would make me smile. Our community, which has struggled so much, needs all the talent it can get."

Four years later, and here we are, with such a better way to use the word talent in a sentence.

PHOTOS: LEBRON JAMES' CAREER HIGHLIGHTS AND LOWLIGHTS

LeBron James. What's left to say? Four-time MVP. Two-time champion. Gold medalist. Flip through this gallery for some of the most memorable images of King James' career. David Richard, USA TODAY Sports

The final piece of hardware for King James' 'corination' as an NBA champion came opening night of the 2012-13 season when LeBron James and his Heat teammates were given their championship rings during a ceremony before a game against the Celtics, on Oct. 30, 2012, in Miami. J Pat Carter, AP

Right after he won an NBA title with the Heat, LeBron James was able to drape himself in the American flag after the USA defeated Spain 107-100 in the men's basketball gold medal game at the London Olympics. Rob Schumacher, USA TODAY Sports

After finishing with 26 points, 13 assists and 11 rebounds in Game 5 of NBA Finals, LeBron James was not only able to hoist his first NBA championship trophy, he also was named MVP of the 2012 NBA Finals. Derick E. Hingle, US Presswire

South Beach hasn't always been fun and games for LeBron James. Here he walks off the court after Game 6 of the NBA Finals against the Dallas Mavericks on June 12, 2011. The Mavericks won 105-95 to win the series. Lynne Sladky, AP

Workmen remove a large mural of LeBron James from a building in downtown Cleveland on July 10, 2010 after James, who had played seven years for the Cavaliers, signed with the Miami Heat after becoming a free agent. Mark Duncan, AP

It was during the event to introduce LeBron James, left, and Chris Bosh, right, as Dwyane Wade's newest teammates, that James made his infamous 'Not one, not two, not three ..." prediction about the number of championships the Heat's Big Three would win together. J.Pat Carter, AP

Before the Big Three of Dwyane Wade, left, Chris Bosh, center, and LeBron James, right, had played a single minute together, the Miami Heat threw an elaborate celebration at Miami's American Airlines Arena on July 9, 2010. Al Diaz, AP

In Cleveland, July 8, 2010, will forever be known for 'The Decision,' the day free agent LeBron James announced on ESPN that he was leaving the Cavaliers and taking his 'talents to South Beach' to join the Miami Heat. Bob Luckey, Greenwich Time via AP

Before he left for Miami, LeBron James, celebrating with teammate Sasha Pavlovic after hitting the game winning three pointer against the Orlando Magic in Game 2 of the 2009 Eastern Conference Finals, was perhaps the most popular athlete in Cleveland sports history. Gregory Shamus, Getty Images

Despite a stinging playoff defeat in the 2007-08 Eastern Conference finals by his Cavaliers against the Celtics, LeBron James experienced victory in a busier-than-usual offseason, helping Team USA go undefeated on the way to the gold medal at the Beijing Olympics. Greg Pearson, USA TODAY Sports

LeBron James scored Cleveland's final 25 points as the Cavaliers outlasted the Pistons 109-107 in double overtime of Eastern Conference Finals Game 5 on May 31, 2007. The Cavs overcame a 2-0 series deficit and won in six. Gregory Shamus, Getty Images

LeBron was ruled ineligible and the end of his senior year by the Ohio High School Athletic Association, because he accepted free sports jerseys, bringing a sudden end to the basketball star's celebrated high school career. Tony Dejak, AP

James' road to NBA stardom seemingly started while he was still in high school. As a standout for St. Vincent-St. Mary's High School in Akron, Ohio, James quickly earned "next big thing" status with sports magazine covers and recognition on the USA TODAY All-USA boys basketball team for three consecutive years. Eileen Blass, USA TODAY Sports