BECKY BENES: Thanks-giving: The key to a happy and fulfilled life

Thanksgiving is a beautiful holiday, a time when we stop our whirlwind lives, connect with others, share a meal and express our gratitude for a bountiful life. The name itself gives us a key to life.

Living life with an attitude of thanksgiving and gratitude is paramount to a long, happy and fruitful life. Being thankful can drastically change your mood and mindset from gloom to joy; from lack to abundance; from sadness to happy; from dis-ease to comfort. It is truly magical.

In Proverbs 23:7, we are taught, "as a man thinketh, so is he." And in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 we are reminded to give thanks in everything.

When we focus on and give thanks for all of the blessings in our lives, our blessings expand and grow. However, if we focus on all that we don't have, we will experience more lack and never have enough. Epictetus reinforces this idea: "He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."

Most of our dis-ease, discontent and suffering are cause by our thoughts and by living in a state of victimhood instead of gratitude. The good news is that we can move out of this state of undue suffering and discontent with a daily simple practice of creating a gratitude list.

By focusing daily on 5 to 10 things in your life for which you are grateful, your life will transform. That is why a gratitude list is incorporated in the Oh My Chocolate, Melt Into Your Essence Meditation Journal (a great transformative gift for the holidays: OhMyChocolate.net).

I began the practice of creating a daily gratitude list about 25 years ago as a request from my Spiritual Director. It is the one practice that has truly transformed my life. Every time I was in a state of distress, complaining, overwhelmed and discontent, I was told to make a gratitude list. In fact, with almost every issue, this was her solution for me.

In the beginning, I could

In the beginning, I could only find things like air, water and food for which to be grateful. And some days, I wasn't grateful for those things because they were keeping me alive.

However, by making a list daily — and sometimes 100 times a day — my life shifted from one of gloom and doom to a life beyond my wildest dreams. Now, when I write my gratitude list, I have to limit the time I spend because the list goes on forever.

Here are my top things for which I am grateful:

1. My mom, for supporting me in whatever project or activity I was involved; baking thousands of cookies; watching my children; teaching me to cook, to sew, to create a home, to be an active member of community.

2. My dad, who taught me the love of nature, the great outdoors, sailing, travel, song, poetry, philosophy, and to think and to question.

3. My siblings, who serve as positive role models of being creative and making a difference.

4. My beautiful husband, who teaches me to love myself through his unconditional love for me, so that I can love you more fully.

6. My teachers, past and present, who spend countless hours molding me and challenging me to question and to think.

7. My dear friends, who love, support and believe in me on all of my wild ventures whether or not they are successful.

8. My Scouting experiences as a child and a leader, which opened the doors to wider opportunities and experiences which shape and expand who I am.

9. Student exchange programs, which give me the gift of global friendships, which broaden my world view and break down stereotypes, which moves me forward in my passion for peace.

10. For the Peace Ambassadors and Faith Club, who give me the opportunity to learn more deeply about all faith traditions, allowing me to embrace and understand my own faith?

11. All people, organizations, and companies who open their hearts and doors offering me a platform to live out my purpose: To inspire and to guide others to live an authentic, Spirit-Led and successful life.

In reviewing this list, it is interesting that my connections with people and nature are my most important and true gifts in my life, not my material possessions. Wow, now that is something to consider on the biggest shopping day of the year.

I believe that God created us to be in community, to love and support each other, and to be thankful.

This is the beauty of Thanks-giving; it is the key to a happy and fulfilled life.

Becky Benes, a resident of San Angelo, is a certified business and life coach. Her column appears on the second and fourth Saturday of the month. For more information, go to BeckyJBenes.com.