level up your shit

I’ve kind of seen enough of people talking shit about kids. I’m over it. Enough already. ENOUGH. For real. Everyone should stop doing observational humor about kids. Now, don’t get me wrong. I laugh right along with everyone else…where kids can’t see me, and I’ll tell you why.

Kids can fucking read, and have ears.

Not the babies..I mean, they have ears, but they can’t read. Not like the bigger ones, and more and more kids are on the internet and they see that shit. They see the stand up comics roasting their tiny asses. They see the snarky Youtubers doing their bits, and they aren’t amused.

I get it. Kids are easy targets. They are always doing dumb and adorably funny shit that gets an easy laugh, but honestly cut it out, or you will regret it. Not any time soon, but one day. When you are old, and pooping in your pants without your permission . You will regret it.

Why? One very simple reason. Your kids will have power over your old wrinkled ass. They will not forget that set about them shitting on the floor like the dog when they were two and it “KILLED”, or the time you outed them for liking that one girl in their English class on your blog in your adorably funny story.

Kiss that nice old folks home goodbye. You’re going to Neglectful Acres down the street where they beat you with socks full of bars of soap. Your kid will pay extra for the cheap soap because they hear it hurts more.

Just some food for thought, guys.

Also, if you’re any good at your shit you shouldn’t rely on your kids as content. I’m done. (drops cereal box and kicks that shit across the room)