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Saturday, August 23, 2014

Since the 10:00AM departure slot has been pushed ahead to 1:00PM, it looks like I can possibly slip a post in through the aperture of time. Well, my friends, I have never seen it so weird and wack as it is now, most especially as it concerns my forward progress and next location. I am like someone standing in a room with a myriad of doors, who has tried each door only to find it inaccessible but... did I try every door, hmmm. I know it's all under control but... this is ridiculous. It's true that I don't have to be anywhere at the moment except on this trip Susanne and I are taking to finalize old business. It's a long awaited conclusion to a very bad luck action on our parts.

Never before have I been in such a quandary for such a length of time, moving from real uncertainty into what proved to be a very bad decision and onward from there with all manner of sugar plum fairies dancing about my head. We know the ineffable has very good reasons for whatever goes down. We know that everyone is where they are supposed to be, even when they are not supposed to be, for the purpose of demonstration; as I was a centerpiece for in recent times. Often when one runs into sustained opposition and recurrent calamity it is indicative of going in the wrong direction, or some behavior pattern that logically (or otherwise) leads to these circumstances but... in my case, I am hard pressed to discover or define what that is. All I've done is work hard and try to see my way through to where I can continue to work hard. Obviously, there is nothing to be done at this particular moment in time so we will just flow with events and conditions.

Lost in the day to day focus on what is going on around us and what is going on inside us is the idea of transcendence and ascension; of fantastic cosmic change, such as has been prophesized about across the centuries. Surely some amount of, or something similar to this sort of thing is on the menu at some point. My mind is often drawn to those ancient cave paintings about ships coming out of the sky and meetings with evolved members from other solar systems. These things HAVE HAPPENED a time or two.

History is littered (grin) with records of miracles and strange events, especially if one reads occult history, which is not only far more true to what was than the revisionist bullshit going around these days but it also contains additional information that gives a clearer meaning to why certain things happened. Occult history can be found in the writings of Hermetic scientists, alchemists and actual historians outside of the promoted mainstream of employed liars, siphoning nonsense from a river of shit. There is much to be found in ancient writings if one is persistent and diligent.

Then there is the internal record that can either be directly accessed or brought up out of the subconscious by particular meditations upon the archetype responsible for this sort of thing. The High Priestess comes to mind, as she sits upon the waters of memory. A regular knocking upon that door will generate results. It's like anything else, you put in the time and you reap the fruits of your industry. This is a given fact, demonstrated in many lives and something each of us has seen at one time or another. If you want to learn about something, study it. There has never been a library or university to rival the internet, even though EVERYTHING can be found within, provided one has the operational means.

I marvel at the ubiquitous disconnect in the minds of so many concerning any number of simple truths that we know to be true but simply pass by, while employing ineffective efforts with inappropriate tools. It's the same thing you see when people's appetites get the better of them. There they are are, consumed by certain hungers, which impact on their state of being and their appearance. Sometimes they know what's going on but feel unable to control that particular passion, due to a lack of discipline and a compromised will. Other times they fashion complex arguments in defense of their behavior, so as to be able to go right on with it.

I had a friend who was dying of AIDS. He was a nice guy (most of the time) but he was a rich kid who had been indulged by his parents and he had this sense of privilege and entitlement. What he wanted was paramount and sometimes he could be difficult to be around should you not share his ambition. Anyway, he was dying of Karposi's sarcoma. It is a terrible disease indeed and I watched it go down through all of its stages. Toward the end, my friend was barely recognizable as the man he had been. Mucous build-up was a problem and one night he had a pizza delivered and was scarfing it down. At one point he said, “Yeah, I know I'm not supposed to eat this but if I can't eat what I want then I don't want to live anyway.” Shortly after that his vocal chords were removed and he couldn't speak any longer. I was around him for the last year of his life and it was an education for me on many levels.

It seems like I've been in school since I got here and some of the lessons have been very painful but for me the most painful lessons are the ones where I don't know what it is that I learned. Supposedly one's course is meant to iron out and ease up later in life. Heh heh, I haven't seen that yet, though I will admit that certain conditions have been much more manageable than they once were. I look at the lives of many others and their life is a walk in the park, often attended by great success and often they are terrible human beings as well. I tell myself that the ineffable gives them whatever it is they think they want and he's given up on them getting a clue as to what is really going on. With some of us, the trials continue apace because the ineffable has not given up on us. I'm going to have to say, I prefer that, though I have no way of knowing exactly where I stand, except for what I am told at intervals.

I'm thinking that because of the degree of stress manifest in these times that we are being hothoused to a certain end. Our suffering has been amplified because the event horizon is imminent. It's hard to know anything for sure but when I speculate (grin) I like to concentrate on the simplest conclusions for the why and wherefore of whatever. There is so much complexity in everything these days. The established religions are buried under tons of dogma and cant and operate much like allopathic medicine does, focusing on symptoms and avoiding the causal. Because the majority of them operate like a business (cue Jesse Jackson), eventually their rituals, routines and scriptural selections are chosen to enhance that sector of things. When the war machine cranks up, because that is one of the main engines of Imperialism, they genuflect accordingly and turn up “Onward Christian Soldiers”, programmed to go off and die in Zionist Banker wars. It ain't pretty and it ain't right but it's how it is.

I heard it said by a great teacher that the key to everything is memory. It's all about recall. If we could just remember back far enough, we would know who we are and what we are about and everything that doesn't make sense would make sense. It's not so difficult for me to see how things might have gone wrong at one point or another because of the way I was acting in the process but... once that is no longer a feature and it hasn't been for awhile now, it's harder to come to terms with that. Sometimes you just have to press forward despite all of the inexplicable opposition because you can't stay where you are. Perhaps if you could then you might consider the opposition something directly related to your not doing so but... that option is off the table. Like the song says, “When the Lord gets ready, you got to move.” It's a real trip when that is the case and your necessity to move is blocked on all sides.

We're all used to roadblocks and ankle grabbing undergrowth, not to mention feeling our way in the dark but usually these things are temporary. In some cases they're just not permitted and that is something else but... when it goes on and on, you have to wonder and that's how it is from here today... wondering...

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Greetings one and all. Well, I’m back where I was before this whole recent episode started. I knew I would be in any case, around this time, because of an important and most welcome piece of business which closes the Italian chapter of this life, though for me it's been closed for several years, ever since the hyper dimensional experience that took place there. Man! Have I had an exciting life or what? I learned something with this latest foray into the land of Visible the Perpetual Ingenue. I learned I'm not 18 anymore. Large parts of myself just don't take the aging process seriously. I get about like a youth (or I did- and will again). I think like a youth with certain benefits. I could continue the examples but you know what I mean.

Eventually one has to face up to certain realities, at least until the transformation goes down. I fully expect some of us to become consecrated immortals. I'm sure Sovereignty would agree with that as would Ray B. and some others; don't usually make reader mentions in the posts but I don't like setting fixed behavior patterns. When you don't know much of anything for sure, it is a requirement (at least for me) to operate with latitude till the ineffable alters the course. I pray that finds a more gentle expression in coming days. Still, I don't regret any of it. Usually, the only time I have regret is when I behave badly and my behavior has been exemplary through this year. That is a kind of consistency that I have lacked in former times, both intentionally and unintentionally. Once again, when you don't know a great many things with an observable certainty, you're going to make mistakes. In any case, it is far better to make mistakes than it is to sidestep life.

One of the maxims of my life is that those who love much are forgiven much. That makes sense if God is Love and I've heard that said many times. I also believe if enough people think something is true it might become true, especially if it is already true. I much prefer to say, “I believe” rather than, “I know.” It's not easy to correct the habits of a lifetime and that is why, preferably, one should start on their way early, rather than come to the realization late in the day. Of course, if your course is charted like Saul of Tarsus or any of the other Kismet Cowboys that doesn't apply. I don't know how real the story of that cat is because all scripture is tainted by both demonic and human intrusion in pursuit of agenda. I should include one caveat however. Regardless of whatever convolutions and twisting of the scripture there may be, the truth can be found and the direction indicated for those whose hearts are right. If your heart's not right, it doesn't matter whether the truth is twisted or not because you are twisted and even if there are no funhouse mirrors it looks that way... anyway ...but... not necessarily as it would with a finer discrimination; meaning you are given insight into the nature of what deceives you.

I am truly impressed by the breathless unpredictability of the forces at work in my life. They seem more whimsical than the wind at the moment; plots and circumstances shift without warning, changing the potential for expression at every level. Are these appearances real indicators or are they tests upon my perceptions to see how I take it all? It can't be serious action because there is no rhyme or reason to it in terms of the consistency of purpose. It's got to be something else so... eyes open, and... right... heart open too. Might as well include the mind in that. Sooner or later clarity is going to ring the doorbell; archetypically (sp) speaking.

Drones to the left of me, drones to the right of me, out of the valley of drones we march in search of serenity. Water beads on the surface of flowers. Sunlight splinters through the tiny prisms of the drops. Light in refraction tells the tale of the colors of the world but gives no hint of the thorns concealed beneath the resonating beauty. This must be how a child sees it, prior to the recurrent contact that steals the innocence away. Argh me hearties there be a fortune ten paces north of the standing rock. Let my sea legs not betray me on this trek of an afternoon. Cryptic digression ends/

If I had been driving across America in this latest jaunt I'd be in Colorado now. I usually tended to wind up there coming and going for reasons great, small and unknown. One thing for certain; if you've been away from the US for any length of time you can never go back again because... what you left behind no longer exists. There is an argument that can be made that it didn't exist then either ...but the vast majority of us live according to the perception of appearances and that is as much as we know about anything, which adds up to (drum roll) not much.

Not much could well be the signature phrase of this information drenched age, where it is possible to accumulate vast amounts of fallacious information. These days, generally, what most people assume to be true, are conclusions based upon their self interest in search of justification. It's sort of like the arguments for global warming. At the level of the generation of the idea are bankers and corporatists in search of profit. Down the ladder, you have the scientists who sign on to the fabrication as those who legitimize the concept. They are joined by media pundits who also ascribe to this fantasy and they are all well paid. If they had their way there would be laws against climate change denial.

Most all of the pre-fab information moving about is generated for one motive or another. Seldom seen is any singularity of higher intent. It's all about the money and it doesn't seem to matter what identity you seek to portray yourself through. The profit motive reigns supreme, as seen in Jesse Jackson's attempt to pass the collection plate in Ferguson. It is unique in these times that Mr. Apocalypse is showing up so frequently and... I say this with the understanding that he is showing up far more than is reported. Expect more and more of it, with ever increasing degrees of intensity.

I just heard from a friend, one of the finest people I know and he told me about some terrible things that have happened to him in recent time, quite similar to my own, without the broken hip and all I could think was, the divine has some sort of purpose in all of this. There is a purpose to laying such suffering on good people, who in no way provoked what came down upon them. I can only think that it was no doubt the least the divine could do in the service of a higher calling. Knowing the compassion and mercy that are both hallmarks of the divine, one can presuppose that whatever one has experienced, it was less than might have usually been called for to achieve whatever the end intention of it was.

Though it may rain for days on end it does not rain forever in the same place. Though the sun is concealed for days behind clouds it will eventually burn through. Storms may rage and trials may prevail but they pass. Everything passes and the wise soul operates with this knowledge in mind and does not rail against the seeming injustice. The wiser soul endures, secure in the knowledge that all things work to the good for those who love the creator. If we are grievously tried it is to be presumed that we are much loved, save in those cases where it is just recompense and in either case, it passes. No one is permitted to remain evil forever. The ultimate objective of the ineffable is redemption and that has oft been expressed in the ageless wisdom that attends the movement of existence through its various states. That wisdom may be more and sometimes much less visible but it is always present, the same way the sun is always shining, whether clouds may be obscuring it or not. It's there. I imagine that means we might sometimes have to go through the clouds to see it.

I'm amazed at my state of mind, in the aftermath of possibly the greatest rip-off I have ever experienced. It's certainly not my greatest personal tragedy. I suspect I do not even remember some of them. Still, in this age of intense material significance, it is all too likely that loss will prey upon the mind ...but I feel none of that. It is almost as if I can hear a voice speaking that is filled with reassurance but I cannot make out the actual statements. I liken it to being seated near a babbling brook. There is a music and a lyricism in it but that feature will escape a mind that is too involved in the material aspects of existence. Even a mind attuned to the melodies inherent in that body of water might not be able to interpret the message it contains but... there is a part of us that is sensitive to that. There is a part of us that hears and sees everything, even if the waking portion of us does not and if we have developed an amicable relationship with that portion of ourselves, our greatest enemy is turned into our very best friend. The vicissitudes of life are all programmed and arranged to bring us to that point but we fight it to the death, for whatever our reasons may be.

These are dark times but we do not have to be in the darkness. That is a matter of personal choice and it is determined by our values and intentions. Whether it is worth the effort depends on what you find important. Ultimately what is important will make itself known to you, one way or the other.

End Transmission.......

Visible sings: ♫ All the Mistakes ♫'All the Mistakes' is track no. 1 of 12 on Visible's 2007 album 'Color Ball'

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Greetings from the swirl and whirl in constant transformation of circumstance into circumstance. Hardly a thought has been wasted on previous experiences. I know a great deal more about why things happen than I did. It's not always the narrow confines of personal karma that determines event and outcome. Sometimes we are hammered into shape by things in order to be suitable for what lies ahead. Just as often one is tested to see what one makes of the variations of flaming excrement that get thrown at one. This is a time of adjustment, of transformation, of judgment, of punishment and reward. This is a time of breaking free and a wider engagement into all the maybes and maybe nots of this remarkable time.

I am in a French city and shortly I will go to that main French city where I lived as a young boy. One day will follow another and I will find myself on an island, nearly exactly like the one I was trying to return to but was unable to negotiate. Someone just shows up out of the blue with the invitation. It's very close to where Patrick the master narrator of these works lives and that reunion is now more possible than it has been at any time.

My thoughts on the matter are all about where one would prefer to be when it all comes down. There are certain places where the heaviest of conditions simply don't come about because of the interplay of life there. Now, of course, one can't know exactly where and when but one can be guided by the highest level of awareness that they have attained to and that will sort the circumstance in the best of all possible ways.

The ultra materialized state of existence is a heavily magnetized force field and if you're magnetized to it, you go with it. If you are magnetized by the higher arc, that is where you will go. It is obvious what is going on down here. It is also obvious that when the corruption of elected and appointed officials becomes so egregious as it presently is, the result is a predictable certainty.

Sure, a gigantic wave could come out of the sea and wash that island but that, I think, would depend on the internal waves and then there's the cosmic wave that moves through all things sentient and otherwise interpreting the seen and unseen. Are you surfing that wave? Surely you will then encounter all of the cross currents of the manifest moving in whatever directions desire has propelled it but the cosmic wave surf over, up, around and through. The manifest cannot touch you if you are already touched by that from which all power to manifest and unmanifest proceeds. It should be common sense, were common sense not now so uncommon.

My friends says to me, “You seem to be down”. I said, “It's not down, it's pensive, it's reflective. I said, “just this year I lost this and this and this and now this. Such a progression of events should surely lead one to being more reflective.” I am infinitely grateful that things just don't stay with me. Of all the things that have happened, none of them are on my mind at the present. I had to leave a lot of things behind that were not only valuable but useful. I'm not feeling it. I took the most valuable and lasting things with me and those are the things that are part of me and if I had, metaphorically speaking, “Left my heart in San Francisco”, well, there you go... or not, actually. There are many ways to be reflective and that practice is not limited in its potential by being restricted to the past.

It is in times of extreme transition that you discover there are at least two ways of being. You can be uncertain and feeling adrift and at the whim of surrounding conditions or... you can be quite certain that this is simply an environment of change that repeats itself while you change with no fear of repetition. Bad weather does not go on forever. Sometimes it isn't the usual bad weather. Sometimes it is a monsoon that goes on and on and on. Even that doesn't go on for anything nearly like forever and when tough times transit into good times, they are usually at a relative extreme. Nice to know.

I don't have any idea of what it is that is actually taking place. The Crass Media is in one of its inane phases where the treacle and fecal run together in gruesome colors of godawful WTF? They're even talking about Jennifer Aniston. You know they're bottoming out when that happens. The title of the article, I think was, “Why Jennifer Aniston doesn't have to lose five pounds. I don't know how closely it parallels that ancient question, “Would you like to lose ten pounds of ugly fat?” “Cut off your head.” For all I know, this is about shrunken heads and then, too, when your head is pumped full of air it doesn't weigh as much and this explains why those so defined are often lacking in gravitas (grin).

Zing!!! Anyway, I came over here without my power cord, which I left in another bag at the place I am staying and getting this posting up has become a time sensitive affair; meaning we are going to cut this short. Things are ever so much better than they were and it is our fervent prayer that the same is true of you and... if not, soon will be.

End Transmission.......

Visible sings: ♫ Got No Blues ♫'Got No Blues' is track no. 7 of 12 on Visible's 2007 album 'Almost A Capella'

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Summer has bypassed us this year. Despite occasional days with a cooler sun there is mostly rain and a gray cloud cover. It's the second day out of the rehab and I am sorting my things. I knew where everything was before I left but now it's all a jumble, some of it in garbage bags and some of it in locations I have yet to discover. It's a grim task to put it all in boxes and make it suitable for shipping somewhere. As it stands, half of it won't be going anywhere because it's either too big to pack, too expensive to ship vis a vis the value of the item, or it falls into a third category that is composed of many categories too numerous to catalogue.

I took a room in a pension about 7 K away, with the understanding that I would have internet but... despite bringing the router down into my room and having someone drive in who was as stymied as I at the end, there is no internet. See... there's a code you have to put into the dialogue box to get the server to recognize you and give you an authorized pass but the dialogue box won't come up and it then says 'connected' but there is no connection. As it so happens I have a Telecom stick which makes what I am doing here, this minute, possible but which is pricey and comes with a quite restricted bandwidth but... as I am limping already from the aftermath of my accident, it seems only fitting that I should limp in other ways as well (grin).

During the time I was in Rehab I scoured the net for apartments in 3 different locations where there are, in fact, numerous apartments and I reached out to the various agents who handle these rentals and with a single exception, no one got back to me. The one exception has also now disappeared through some bolthole in cyberspace. I take all this to mean that I am not meant to stay here any longer because it defies both logic and reason that I would meet with such difficulty across the board.

Now it turns out that there are places available but they are all right in the neighborhood of where I originally embarked from when I started this misadventure and the irony here is that that location is the least likely place around to have so many vacancies and not only that but... it is the more expensive of locations and the present options there are not. This makes no kind of sense whatsoever. Welcome to my life of the moment, here in the unpredictable and fickle atmosphere of this zeitpunkte.

I had thought I would finally get this language down and win myself permanent residency at the same time. I found schools in all of the locations that I was considering going to but no rentals appeared so... I spent the weeks sitting nearby people chattering away at each other and understood hardly a thing. After all this time; understanding so little. I see where I could learn to speak it. I just wouldn't understand the replies (grin). This left me with the impression that, possibly, I should seek some new environ where people might not understand what I am saying and where I might not relate to what they are telling me but where... the words, at least, would have some relative meaning in a relative world, now teetering on the brink of widespread chaos.

As I contemplated my situation last night, I scanned the news and it was ominous to say the least. It's been bad for awhile but it's modulated into a higher frequency of tone. It's a bit more shrill and on the runway to shrieking. Through my mind came the rumbling query; “where do you go sport (don't call me sport)? Where do you go?

In the midst of this perpetuating uncertainty, a few days prior to my leaving the Rehab, I received an offer of residence in an attractive part of the motherland. It's surrounded by national forests and actually in the woods. It's affordable and not far from old associations of years past. It's not the warmest of what's available in the country but it's not the coldest either. I've had many options come at me across time as I rotated in my office chair, circling in expatriot limbo. This one came in the midst of an ongoing inner dialogue of, “Hmmm, where do I go? Where do I go?” I thought it might be a message but... then again... I haven't been all that good at reading the real implications of the choices that have come before me in recent times.

There is a crushing weight of depression circling about my head, as I try to get my various bits in order. It's almost like something being pumped out of a hose through a roof tile. It makes my movements leaden. The simple act of deciding what to keep and what to take or send, leaves me feeling like Hobson and his options for choice which, of course, was no option for choice at all. It just looks like there is but unique to this circumstance, even the unavoidable option is veiled.

I'm not writing this today to depress the reader. My particular misery does not love company. I'm just following along with my full disclosure thing. That is a sort of personal imperative for me; not to gloss over conditions or paint things other than what they are in the hope that they will be.

As it stands, I can pack up what it's possible to send off and address it to that location where it might be my intent to arrive and then simply walk the course between unfinished realities here; places I might yet have to be before I can go, based on promises made to be available up until a certain date. This concerns the possibility that I might be needed to sign something. That would account for the pursuit of temporary lodging and the truly odd phenomena of it putting me right back in the area I originally left.

I think part of the depression is due to seeing the amount of work I put into this place and the wonderment at the meaning of, which completely escapes me. Then there are those ludicrous things like do I take these blank CDs and couple reams of paper when they will cost as much to ship as replace? Is all of this memorabilia (probably not as much as most people have) worth remembering, or even necessary to the process? Are all these framed pictures of deities and teachers necessary? Muslims and others would say otherwise and you can always get more pictures. So... in the process of the sorting, the charged magnetism of each item sings its song for me, with varying levels of influence.

BUT... dangling over all of this, like that spectre from “The Frighteners” is the tempestuous threat of a world in great transformation. Will it be more or less this same world in a month? Surely it will not be by this time next year. BUT... you can shit and go blind attempting to second guess it cause you won't get it right. At least I haven't so far. It is at the very least, perplexing to the point of madness.

So... I will finish up here and I will got back to sorting my things and then, I suppose, I will be back here to post and read your responses later in the day, unless the Elf steps in.

We've all heard so many variations concerning what it is our province to perform and what we must, or should, leave in wiser hands. We've heard about being utterly reliant. I suspect under certain circumstances that will just leave you frozen in space. Sometimes you must proceed in faith and certitude that even if there is no positive result there will certainly be a lasting lesson (grin- ouch).

The more and more that I think about it as I am writing this today, it more and more comes into my head that the reason there is so much uncertainty and inexplicable blockage is because what is supposed to happen just hasn't happened yet and sometimes you have no choice but to tread water in a tossing sea. It is to be supposed that at some point, the outline of land will appear between one bobbing wave and another.

Life is a series of tests and the more serious the tests, the more time and variables can come into play. Sometimes, with a particular test you can literally go no further until you have passed that test. It just rounds the corner again and again until you do. Possibly the good news with that is that you cannot fail either. Failure isn't permitted. You just have to catch it right and eventually you do, or so it is presumed.

I've never been in a situation quite like this one before. In the past, the lines were pretty clear cut or I just made the decision and that was that. There's something else at work here and I don't know what that is. Whatever it is it is relentless and inflexible and factored into all of that (whatever 'that' is) is the state of the world and it's moment to moment uproar upon uproar and insanity upon insanity. You pretty much have to laugh. It's less likely to obstruct your vision than is the alternative and it does leave you with the potential benefit of having a lighter touch; “sorting it out here, Boss.”