Monday, January 10, 2011

A New Year Resolution....

We all make them, although I’m not sure why because myself, I never seem to keep them. I think that is because once a month or two passes, I seem to forget what it was I proclaimed I would change which is ridiculous since it’s pretty similar from year to year; I will eat less, exercise more, go to bed and rise earlier, work less with more family time, get more organized, motivated, driven and focused...yada, yada, yada. Rest assured, “Eating less” makes the list year after year.

I have always struggled with self-image which is why eating less makes my New Year’s Resolution list time and again. I grew up in a household where being slightly overweight was frowned upon. Thin was in. We were teased. We were insulted. One time when I responded enthusiastically with “Cheerleader Daddy!” to the, “what do you want to be when you grow up” question asked of every child, my Father burst into laughter and replied, “You will never be a cheerleader with those thighs” . As you can imagine, that was not something I found hysterical nor did I appreciate my dream being shattered in that way. I spent my teenage years as a cheerleader in an attempt to prove him and his memory wrong.

It has been decades since then, and I have not forgotten what was said on that day. I have spent years trying to forget those words and erase the hurt they left behind. On occasion, I have had “light bulb moments” where I finally see things as an adult should. Other times, I become that 8 year old little girl again, forgetting who I am and what is important. I have to remind myself of what it was I should have been told as a child and that even though perfection does not exist, how nice it would have been if the people who gave me life had helped me to believe that I was close to it, just the way I was and regardless of my size and shape.

If we have the belief that we are not good enough, thin enough, pretty enough, _______enough (you fill in the blank), of course we are not going to be. And if we feel a void or emptiness from not being enough, then we will find things to fill it like excessive food, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, and even sex. If we could just accept ourselves with our faults, weaknesses, and the less appealing attributes we all seem to possess, then maybe we would not need to find ways of filling that void. If we could embrace our uniqueness, we would feel less empty and in its place maybe we would feel peace and contentment and actually like the person we are. And, maybe now we would be able to identify what is truly important in our lives, and focus on achieving our goals and living our dreams. Just maybe….

This year of 2011 my resolution will come from my heart because I have learned when it comes from the heart, the mind will follow. Change starts from within. So I, with resoluteness, will remind myself each day that I am beautiful; inside and out, mind, body and soul, regardless of shape and size, wealth and fame, status and success. I invite you to join me. Together, let’s make 2011 the year our dreams come true!

This blog entry, albeit of personal nature, I feel has much to do with the business of leather and Sexy Skins. So many have expressed to me a desire to be sexy but don't feel sexy because in their own mind, they don't see themselves that way and for different reasons. Sexy is a state of mind. Sexy comes in all sizes, shapes, ages, and colors. Sexy shows no prejudice. Get your sexy on in 2011!

Pre-Sexy Skins

I was invited to participate in the Boston Designer's Collaborative Fashion Show...way back when. My collection was inspired by Ancient Roman Architecture. This fancy little number from the Theater of Marcellus.

Pre-Sexy Skins II

There were three suits, inspired by the Baths of Carcalla and Diocletian.