That moment when the library gets a little too weird

By Bexx Wilton, Dec 5, 2018

No library would be complete without a librarian. As the gatekeeper of books and knowledge, it’s the librarian’s job to make sure that every book is accounted for, whether it’s sitting on the shelf or being taken home by willing (or unwilling) students and the general public. Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and daisies for these book lovers. The library brings in an assortment of people who all make their way to this place for their own reasons.

Perhaps they want to read a book, perhaps they want to study, or perhaps they’re attending a tiny tots music class. There’s really no way to know what you might see when you get there, and the one’s who work there know that better than anyone. Librarians watch the world go by, and in the process they’ve seen some truly bizarre things.

When the book drop got a little fishy

If you’re used to using a book drop, you’ll know that it’s not difficult in the slightest. Simply lift up the latch, drop your book through the hole, and voilà! However, it seems as though some people just aren’t experts in the art of book dropping – because things got a little fishy for one librarian.

During the Christmas period, one fishy prankster decided to drop a whole salmon into the book drop. Because the library was closed for the holidays, it simply sat in there for a few days before being discovered. The smell was intense, and it was not a pretty fishy by the end of it.

When one wannabe rapper recorded his bars

Although many people go to the library to check out the books, there are others who make their way to this hallowed place to make use of the computers. That’s exactly what one 30-something-year-old man did when he made his way to one library.

Instead of watching a film or perfecting his resume, this man used the computers, the internet, and the sound booth to record his rapping skills. He called himself the “Prince Rao” and even asked some of the staff at the library to get involved with his tracks. Unfortunately, he just wasn’t that good, and the librarians just wouldn’t be seen cohorting with such a bad musician. Awkward.

When one old man decided to reminisce

One of the greatest things about a library is that it’s almost always quiet. You can truly hear yourself think, and you can take advantage of the headphones you were bought for Christmas. However, one man had no idea that some headphones just aren’t soundproof.

If you play your music loud enough, anyone can hear! As one librarian watched him come in every single week, she began to notice a trend in his visits. He would sit on one of the computers and watch slideshows of old yearbook photos while listening to the same song over and over on repeat. The song? ABBA’s “Dancing Queen,” but the instrumental version.

When a student decided to pump up the volume

When you’re stuck in the library for hours on end, you can slowly lose the will to continue. You can’t focus on anything, you’re bored out of your brain, and you just need some kind of excitement. When one college student got to this point, they decided to pump up the volume.

They turned their boombox up to full volume, they started dancing in the aisle, and they encouraged others to do the same. Before too long, the whole library was pumped up and dancing along to the music… Until the librarian came over and put a swift stop to all of the commotion.

When one little girl decided to experiment

Kids will question anything, and if you tell them that the book drop is connected to a long chute, they will do anything to prove that this is correct. That’s exactly what one little girl did when her mom explained what the book drop was. As she began to wonder what she could push down the chute, she realized that she had a packet of animal crackers in her bag.

She ate a few and also shoved a few more down the book drop. What the librarian working at the time didn’t realize is that when books later fell on top of these crackers, they would smash into tiny little pieces – making it almost impossible to clear up.

When a middle schooler got caught short

When you’re studying in the library, you soon lose sight of what the time is. You don’t know whether you’re coming or going, and you start to wonder when you last ate. When one middle schooler realized that he hadn’t been to the restroom for a while, he quickly noticed that he needed to go straight away.

However, he just couldn’t wait to get to the bathroom, because there was no holding it in. He needed to go, and he wasn’t going to make a mess in his pants. In the end, he just had to do what nature intended, and he unzipped his pants in the middle of the library for everyone to see. That must have stunk the place out.

When the book drop could survive anything

We have the modern world to thank for book drops because now we don’t even have to communicate with human beings to take our books back to the library. It’s a miracle! However, it seems as though some libraries take their book drop services very seriously.

When one librarian made their way to a new branch, they discovered that the book drop was actually bomb-proof. It was made using some of the strongest metal in the world, it was secluded from the rest of the library, and it was even hidden behind a fire door. We wonder what would happen if you didn’t return a book? Would they get the Terminator out to find you?

When people don’t use normal bookmarks

There are some monsters in this world who fold over the pages of the books that they are reading, while there are others who use bookmarks. You can normally pick these bookmarks up for an incredibly cheap price, but some people just feel as though cheap is too expensive.

So, they decide to use something they keep on them all the time. You know, like credit cards. While this is a great idea if the books are yours, it’s not a great idea if you then take the book back to the library with your “bookmark” still in it. It’s even worse when people use adorable photos drawn by their kids because with no names they’re impossible to send back.

When someone got a little thirsty

If you’re a college student, you’ll know that the library is your best friend. After all, you have a love/hate relationship with it, and see it every single day! This is especially true when it comes to finals week, because the pressure ramps up, and everyone feels the strain.

One student decided to take the edge off when it came to their finals week by making mimosas in the college library. However, their thirst didn’t end there. As well as making their own alcoholic drink, they also decided to make a whole batch and hand them out to everyone in the library. To be fair, you can definitely pass a mimosa off as orange juice…

When one man became obsessed with Pong

How do you fill up your day? Do you go to work? Do you go to school? Do you enjoy your retirement? Well, one man decided that this wasn’t enough for him, because there was something he wanted more than anything else in the world.

He wanted to play Pong, and he wanted to play it all day. While the librarians allowed him to play Pong at his leisure, they would later have to move him along when someone else needed to use the computer. The man was totally chill with this fact, but would simply wait in a chair elsewhere in the library until he could use it again. That’s dedication to Pong.

When one person used an unusual bookmark

We all have our own ideas of what an ideal bookmark looks like, but one librarian had the shock of her life when she opened up a returned book and found a tin can lid. Considering these objects have very sharp edges, she quickly disposed of it before she could cut herself.

However, she couldn’t help but wonder what had made someone use such an item as their bookmark. Had they been cooking while reading their book? Was it the first thing they could find when they had finished their page? Why did they not take the tin can lid out when they wanted to return the book? So many questions, so few answers.

When one student got a little too cold

When finals etch ever closer, you have to spend more and more time in the library. However, when you’re there for hours on end you can often find yourself getting a little too uncomfortable and a little too cold. If you haven’t taken a sweater with you, this can distract you from the work in hand, and you soon realize that you just can’t concentrate on anything.

One student decided to combat his coldness by lighting his very own trashcan fire in the middle of the library. While it was only a small fire, he had to feed it with paper to keep the flames going. Let’s just hope the paper wasn’t his notes or (god forbid), the books themselves!

When one man decided to make road signs even better

We all have our own reasons for going to the library, so we shouldn’t judge. However, we do have to wonder about one man’s decision to utilize the computers in one local library. Rather than checking out the latest ebook or searching for the nearest gym, he decided to use Paint to create his own road signs.

He would draw them with the numerous tools on the design program, and even make changes to those that just weren’t up to his standards. As if that wasn’t cool (or weird) enough, he would then sell these new and improved designs to those who wanted to have them as their own. You do you.

When one woman returned her books and something extra

If you’re in a rush, the book drop can be your saving grace. You simply have to whip the books you want to return out of your bag and shove them through the letterbox. It’s easy peasy lemon squeezy. At least, you’d think it was. When one hungover student made her way to the drop, she wasn’t really paying much attention to what she was doing.

Because of this, she didn’t quite realize that her birth control packet had got caught in between two of the books she was returning. When she noticed that she didn’t have them later on in the day, she had to shamefully make her way back to the library and ask if they had been handed in.

When the book drop was utterly pawfect

We all know that books are the only things supposed to go in a book drop, but that doesn’t stop other things ending up there. When one library found a stray cat dumped in their book drop, they didn’t know what to do. They tried to find its owner but had no luck on the matter.

In the end, they decided to keep the cat for themselves and adopt their very own pawfect library companion. They even asked their customers and visitors to vote on a name for the cat, and the winning name was truly something special. Say hello to Dewey Readmore Books, everyone.

When one man thought he was famous

Nowadays, you can guarantee that at least once a year you will find yourself in the presence of the Google Street View car. This vehicle makes its way around the world to create an accurate photo map of your town and city, and sometimes you might even make your way onto the internet.

After one librarian spoke to a customer about the fact that he had been caught by the camera, he got extremely excited. He thought that he was famous, and he was convinced that his photo was taken every single day as he walked down the street. Because of this, he made his way to the library each morning just to check.

When things got a little hairy

Many people think that the life of a librarian is pretty boring, but these guys see so many bizarre things each and every day. On one occasion, a librarian noticed that a recently returned book looked a little different to the others on the shelf. The pages seemed to have bigger gaps between them, and the whole thing just looked weird.

On closer inspection, they realized that the pages were spread apart because someone had taped clumps of hair between them! They didn’t know what to do with the book or the hair, so eventually decided to just throw the whole thing away. We don’t blame them.

When things took an artistic turn

Over the years, librarians have found the weirdest things hidden between their shelves. Whether they have been left there by accident or placed there deliberately, it’s down to these librarians to deal with them.

Unfortunately, one librarian just didn’t know what to do when they found a full set of false teeth hidden within the dentistry section of their library. They didn’t know if it was some kind of prank, whether someone was really looking up how they could make their false teeth less fake-looking, or whether they were simply left behind. Either way, it was pretty darn funny.

When the library looks like a hotel

When you’re a college student, you learn to accept the fact that the library becomes your second home. You spend more time in the library than you do in your dorm room, and you know your way around it like the back of your hand. However, this becomes even more intense when you add finals week into the mix.

As the stress of passing exams takes over every student at the college, the library really does become the place where they eat, sleep, and repeat. It soon begins to look like a hotel thanks to all of the sleeping students, the blankets, the candy wrappers, and everything else that is scattered across the floor.

When the dripping baffled the librarian

Perhaps the pride and joy of any librarian are the bookshelves. They have to be in certain orders, they have to be cataloged to perfection, and they have to look as beautiful as ever. That’s why librarians don’t really like it when their bookshelves get messed up. Yet, one librarian was baffled when they discovered some form of liquid dripping down their shelves.

The color was odd, the smell was a little weird, and the sight of it just looked incredibly unappealing. On closer inspection, the librarian realized that the dripping was coming from a package of raw ground beef – because you always take your raw ground beef to the library, right?

When pheasants caused an issue

One of the most intriguing things as a librarian is to watch all of the different people come and go. When one librarian was serving a college student with a heavy bag, he decided to take it off his shoulders and place it on the desk while his books were checked out.

All was going smoothly until the man lifted his bag off the desk and left behind a pool of blood. When the librarian pointed out the fact that his bag was bleedy, the man looked a little sheepish and told the librarian that his pheasant was leaking! It was an experience the librarian never forgot.

When the video cassette provided dinner

Libraries aren’t all about books, because you can also go to your local library to rent a videotape to watch with your family and friends if you want. When one librarian was working in the AV section of their library, they had to deal with videotape returns every single day.

Yet, one encounter that sticks out more than most is when one videocassette basically provided the librarian with their dinner for the evening. As they opened up the casing to check the videotape was inside, they were greeted with roasted vegetables and a slice of cheese. The woman who was returning the cassette simply picked out a spear of asparagus and then looked at the librarian with an innocent look on their face.

When one man was feeling incredibly generous

Although most libraries use their budgets to fill their bookshelves with books, they also sometimes rely on donations from the general public. They may take in old books that are no longer wanted, and then they place them on their own shelves for everyone else to use for free.

It’s a great way to bring the community together and give people the chance to help out those in the local area. However, one library got more than they bargained for when one man was feeling incredibly generous. He wanted to donate an important collection to the library, and this collection was every single issue of Playboy from the 1970s onwards. It’s safe to say that the library had to turn down his generous offer.

When they found excrement everywhere

Libraries are often regarded as clean and safe spaces. They are normally just full of books and people, with little else to contend with. At least, that’s what you might think. Countless librarians have found themselves in sticky situations in the past, where they have had to deal with massive clean-ups on their floors, bookshelves, escalators, and elevators.

That’s because human excrement seems to find its way into libraries across the world, with the perpetrators leaving before they can be caught in the act. It’s then down to these librarians to clean up the mess and hope that it never happens again. Of course, it always does.