RobPorn Videos PLUS Sugarlumps

Posted by unintendedchoice on July 13th, 2011

cue porn-seekers coming across LTR because of that title

Zeph leads us in admiration today:

Dear Rob,

It’s been awhile since you’ve heard from me. I haven’t forgotten about you, it’s just that RL has been taking away all my time. Well that and the fact that you really haven’t been giving us too much lately. No photo shoots. No adorakable interviews. No crazy US Magazine rumors. No 3am beer runs or In and Out drive thrus . No buddy road trips. Just a few fan shots on the Cosmopolis set. It’s just not enough to pull me in for hours at a time. Tonight though I revisited one of my favorite past times.

Yes, I went RobPorn hunting.

Took me a bit but I navigated my way through the bajillion RobPorn videos on youtube and with the help of PinkPixieChick I found all my old favorites:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygoyTIrIVe8]

Why? Why did I ever take a break from this? At least I know you’re always there when I come to my senses.

Taking my breath away once again,

Zephyersky

After the jump, Moon & I get Roblosophical about something that isn’t Roblosophical at all:

UC: i made a video for you
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCi2o7OmhYY&feature=related]

Moon: WOAHMoon: robs sugar lumpsMoon: and then a clip of him getting his junk washed??
yeahUC: creepoMoon: should i feel awkward when it zooms in on his crotch??UC: yes. ProbablyMoon: cause i dont.. i think ive been desensitized from all these yrs of twi blogging….Moon: you cant unsee this stuffMoon: dude him in the hoodie in twilight. SO hotMoon: ok i feel awkward when i see his heather gray UNDERWEARS

Moon: so what are they saying is his sugar lumps? his balls his penis (singlular?) his butt checks?Moon: his chesticles?UC: i mean… can we call a guy’s things lumps?Moon: maybe he carries around a VAMP in his pants next to his real peen UC: that’s more a girl thing right?Moon: so he really does have 2??UC: you’re right…. it’s very odd to say “lumps” and then zoom on what you hope he only has ONE ofUC: unless we’re talking ballsUC: and… i dunno… most girls I know aren’t into the ballsMoon: i mean Fergie sang my lumps my lovely lady humps… but maybe she was meaning robs butt all along? he does have a pretty lady faceUC: that’s true. I feel like this is quite possible. That this song was about Rob all along….UC: you’re on to somethingUC: Do you think he gets royalties?UC: did they get his permission?UC: Did they ask Claire & Dick? That’s what I’m really concerned about… They MADE him after allMoon: yea you’re right no one’s talking about balls when they talk about a dude. you just want them to be normal not noticeable enough that they require their own songUC: I mean… I wouldn’t mind a song about ballsUC: maybe it would change my feeling about them… they’d become interesting… sexy even…Moon: no one wants cisco adler’s balls. I DARE YOU ALL TO GOOGLE THIS

Moon: i assume we’re breaking this down 🙂UC: yes… well I was just gonna throw it at the end of an LTR… since this was a related video!UC: and is how i came across it… b/c generally I don’t go searching for video’s about Rob’s nether regionsUC: what if we weren’t breaking it down? and were just having a lively chat about Rob’s balls?UC: Would THAT be normal?Moon: YESMoon: we’ve had real conversations about everything elseMoon: i mean we spent 10 minutes the other night acting like rob and Debbert/a pattinson mom for NO REASONUC: HAHAHAHAHAHAH omg I forgotMoon: other than the sheer thrill of itMoon: this is WHO WE ARE NOW UCMoon: i call you UC now as wellUC: you’re right. there was no point to our discussion. we did not post about it. we did not share it with anyone else. it was for us. our own personal role playMoon: this is OUR LIFEMoon: embrace itMoon: we didn’t even decide a safe word beforehand… we trust each other that much because this is OUR NORMAL NOWUC: That’s normal

I love Moon. I love videos of Rob. Except the one’s about his nether reasons. Unless I can talk to Moon immediately afterwards.

37 Responses to “RobPorn Videos PLUS Sugarlumps”

Incidentally, since Rob-in-the-bath is from The Haunted Airman, let me mention that I just finished reading the book behind this film, by Dennis Wheatley, in the vain hope of understanding what the film was about, but it turns out the only thing they used from the book was the fact that Rob is a semi-paralysed airman and some spiders. Period. If someone ever decodes the plot of HA, please tell me…

Guy on guy would be the Dali Movie.
Zephyersky, don’t do this to me … too late … fallen again. Everytime I thing this really cooled down some of you brings something like this up, and here we go again …
Thanks 😉

Just telling you now….I’M NOT GOOGLING IT!!! I have been scarred for life here multiple times and I just can’t do it any more. Enough is enough. Okay, probably I when I get home from work I’ll do it…but I’m blaming all you all for my new scar!

Something in the back of my mind is telling me that I’ve seen this, however, I’m with you on “not gonna do it” because I too have been scarred by things I learned on LTR. Things have been burned into my brain, that I would rather not be there. I know you know what I mean.

I love this video (except for all the awkward zooms in on his crotch), there is lots of 2008 Rob in there. I’m now lumping RomeRob, MexicoRob and SexDriveRob all into 2008Rob.

Wait, did anyone ever hear about some fan getting Bella’s vampire bite scar as a tattoo? That would be weird. On the other hand it would be just as weird having “Robert Pattinson bit me” tattooed on your neck. (Ever think about that, Tyra Banks??)

Okay, so now I am thinking that if I somehow got hold of Rob’s dental records I might actually have his bite mark tattooed somewhere on my body – now I KNOW I have to go take my medicine and lie down for a bit. LTR, the things you do to my brain…*shaking head sadly*

Ooooo, this brings me back to the summer of 2009 you guys, when I I think I saw Rob-porn for the first time! Nostalgia! I feel that I have subconsciously missed seeing this video now that I see it again. *sigh*

Thank you for making my day, and saving me the time so I don’t have to surf the Internet – I can just go straight to La Push beach (or whichever beach is closest..)and fall of my surf board thinking about Rob’s jawline. Weeeee!

I wish I could watch this stuff at work – then at least I’d be receiving some indirect form of compensation.

I don’t know, about 95%* of Rob Youtube videos don’t do anything except make me feel shameful about my Rob crush. My husband could easily point to any of them and say “THIS is what you spend your time on??? THIS?” Actually, I ask myself that same question all the time now, so he doesn’t even bother anymore.

*the other 5% seem to get yanked off of YouTube by the time I hear about them.

I had to watch Sugar Lumps with one hand semi-covering my eyes. I laughed hysterically when Rob said “I’ve got an erection” and when the sponge bath scene came up and the lyrics to this song. I can’t see/hear this stuff without 2nd hand embarrassment! I just cant!

Oh and sugar lumps, I’m guessing are balls? I mean, the chick who made this kept zooming in on them and the creeper singing this song said, “they look so good that’s why I keep ’em in the front”. O.o Idk about you guys, but if his balls are visible through his pants, he has a problem.

So THAT’S what he says? I can view the videos at work but I turned the sound right down to almost inaudible, in case someone was listening. Glad I didn’t inadvertently broadcast Rob’s report on the state of his peen to the whole office.

UC and Moon I am speechless…………………… I just can’t wipe the smile off my face.

RobPorn always the best isn’t it? Oh the many reasons for it.

1. Something to wake up to.
2. With your breakfast.
3. When you are having a bad day.
4. How about with lunch instead of a book.
5. Husband is being an Ass
6. Before dinner pick me up.
7. After dinner pick me up with wine of course.
8. Kids are driving you crazy.
9. Husband is still being an Ass.
10. Reward for putting the kids to bed.
11. Before bedtime so you can go to bed with your Ass husband.
12. With your bedtime snack or maybe this is your bedtime snack.
13. In bed with said Ass husband. Show him what turns you on. (WARNING: I don’t recommend this if you plan on staying married for any length of time.)
14. Can’t sleep……………yeah it may not help. Be prepared to spend all night with Rob. Not so bad really.

Now you and I know that if you do the last thing you are on an addictive cycle that will only leads you back to your computer where you have all these saved to your favorites. I suggest that you make sure these are kept organized by either body part or date or possibly ratings, yours of course. I like this because it will allow you to get to the Porn quicker. That is an essential element if you are addicted. Examples are: Hair, eyes, lip, jaw, fingers, crotch………….. You get my drift. The choices are endless.

My daughter is grown, so I have to eliminate #8 and #10. She can still drive me crazy, so I’ll reinstate #8. Re #13 – haven’t tried that yet. I don’t think the reaction would be too favorable. Other than that , you’ve just outline a typical day in my life. OK, you’ve just outlined EVERY day in my life. Even #14 – many, many, many times.

I’d also add that Robporn can:

– relieve boredom when you have nothing to do.
– relieve stress when you are overloaded with too many things to do.
– help get you through a tedious workday. Try not to go to the porn more than once every 5 minutes (as I do) for fear of early job termination.

When you get to the point that you are unable to end a day without adding at least a dozen pics and/or videos to your burgeoning porn collection, it’s time to call in professional help. Either that, or go to LTR where you will be reassured that you are totally normal.

I think this one’s less embarrassing than sugar lumps and I actually like all the pictures being used, how they move, the color, and the song. But there are still some silly parts that made me go “wtf?”. Like when there’s a hand moving near Rob’s crotch. LOL And a part in the song that says “Love is moving ‘cross the floor, children waitin’ to be born.” Bhaha! Children is the last thing I want to be thinking about when watching Rob.

Where were you during sex education in school? The general surgeon informs you that “Watching Rob porn is directly linked to activating your ovaries and may result in an unwanted pregnancy”. Consider yourself officially warned…

I guess I’ll never know what I missed that first day in health class…
~~~~~~
Teacher: “Don’t look at Robporn, cause you will get pregnant AND die. Don’t look at it sitting down, don’t look at it standing up…just don’t do it. Promise?”

Ooooh, I love the black and white “Rob in a suit” footage. Why, oh why aren’t there guys at work who look like that? It would make meetings so much more interesting. I’m just gearing up for a 2 hour meeting this afternoon with a senior consultant and a preggo lady. Not the same fun factor as Rob in a suit.

Here’s my question: If you’re going to make a video of Rob’s crotch why are you not using any BI pics?

Really, cause at least it would give us something to look at!

PS- I tried looking for the “Peacock” vid but couldn’t find the original one I liked. And I did mention this vid/song at work today. That’s what happens when your theme is Zoo and you find a peacock pattern. Rob’s peacock is the first thing to come to mind!