I dated two drug dealers in my life the first one sold weed, the other, blow, and why did I do this? For the glory, that’s why, and the drugs, and for the love of party I guess.

I dated two drug dealers in my life the first one sold weed, the other, blow, and why did I do this? For the glory, that’s why, and the drugs, and for the love of party I guess. I didn’t NEED to be with these guys, I figured what the fuck and wrote it off as a vacation from boredom. Next time I will just get a better hobby, here’s why:

A-appeal

You have to appeal to a dealer’s fantasy of what a drug dealer’s girlfriend should embody, and that usually boils down to your attitude and your ass. This guy thinks he’s king of his friends and custies, so he wants a trophy to lord around, he wants his friends to want you but know they will be F’d UP if they touch, totally cliché and totally fucking true, in every drug movie you have ever seen there’s the drug missus and everyone wants to plow her regardless if she is busted-looking or not, the fact that she is the dealer’s woman makes them want her MORE. Practically every friend and customer behind my bf’s back would give me horny eyes and be really into what I was saying and I got the if I fucked him vibe he wouldn’t rat.

B-bitchy

You have to be bitchy like a choke chain, especially to your drug dealer boyfriend, right-away stand your ground firm or otherwise you will be his punching bag for the duration of the relationship. Despite it seeming risky the idea of lipping off a dealer, in actual sincerity they are scared little babies who constantly doubt themselves, their lives, everything, so you can get away with lippin’ them all you want. The main point of bitchiness is to put custies in their place, and to entertain your boyfriend by talking shit about them to pass time. A lot of customers owed my bf money and would get drugs on spot so my presence shamed them into paying up, in this case it is a bonus to have extra eyes and ears around.

Also, the business, bongs, blow.

C-Custies

Custies, what a dealer refers to his customers as, as a means to demean them, like his line of “work” isn’t the scum of the earth’s business. You will meet all types of people, many you would never give the time of day to in the real world, greasy hair, garbage clothes, low-IQ city, slow, boring, annoying fucks. Many are loner-types who schedule in their weed-purchases as hang-out burn sessions and you get in on all of it for free, always. When custies get high they like you to be there to look at, and they like you to laugh at their shitty boring stories. When they burn-out they go home, then more show up. Great. Your boyfriend needs you to double as the barmaid and bouncer, to get rid of them when they’re starting to feel like equals. Going on deals you will visit a lot of their houses, apartments, street corner hang-outs, and so on. Eventually, sometime when your boyfriend is on a good high he will refer to you as his partner, act really touched like you are pleased that your hard work is finally being recognized, laugh like hell inside your head.

Also, coke, duh, and clothes.

D-Delusions of grandeur

Both guys were pretty unstable but tried to appear otherwise. I remember as I was prepping to leave the second dude he was just falling to fucking pieces, total mental collapse, breakdown, crying and sobbing and hyper-ventilating on the kitchen floor. They think they own the world and the world recognizes their greatness and having cash laying around fuels the fire. You don’t have to be a dealer to be like this, it’s something you are born with and your environment and the people you surround yourself with either kills or feeds it. Selling drugs to people who are way beneath you definitely helps.

Also, dreadlocks.

E-ego

Get ready for some MASSIVE ego based on insecurities of his past, so you know you’re in for the fucking funny farm. There is nothing scarier than an unstable person with copious amounts of self-love. 95% of his time is spent trying to convince people he’s superior, wiser and far more urbane than them. Some of his custies have money, legitimate funds, and your boyfriend wants to earn their respect, and he attempts to do this by way of fashion groupie-ism. Often you’ll show up to find a new expensive fugly jacket your boyfriend bought that day and you have to straight-faced tell him it’s awesome, along with all the custies in the room who can’t even pay their fucking phone bills. He also knows everything about designer labels because counterfeit merchandise is also part of the biz, and you have to pretend to be into it too.

F-friends

You will lose all of your friends when you date this guy, anyone with a brain will be like see ya. Think of it as a holiday. Some of your friends (the pieces of shit ones) will stick around to get the drugs-convenience spill-over though. Your new friends are custies/friends of your boyfriend, which is ideal because when you dump him, you don’t want to see those people ever again. My bfs thought we would be together forever, yes we had something truly special. Dude, what we had was a co-dependent abusive relationship, the foundation of which is based on drugs and money and being high all the time. You will see your friends again when it’s over.

G-Grow-op

If this is ever mentioned, you didn’t hear it, you don’t know what or where it is, the end. You will be privy to a LOT of information that if you weren’t stoned immaculate (snappy Doors reference**) could make you shit in your pants. As leverage, your bf will try to instill some fear into you that if you should ever leave him, crap about “certain people” finding you, blah blah, while vaguely possible, isn’t likely, you are small potatoes. Anyway, remember a few names or faces, but as more and more time passes after you break up, you forget everything anyway, and you move on. I was baked the whole time anyway, and I’m not stupid. When it’s all over you keep everything quiet – it’s part of a code. I took a lot of shit worthy of calling the cops and charging both guys, but I didn’t. I never saw any grow-ops though, I’m just using it as an example.

H-Hooked

The job of the pusher is to get you hooked to keep you blitzed so you won’t leave, cos then you get to thinking oh no where will I get dope if we break up, and if you weren’t high all the time you’d realize how much of a dick he truly is, duh. A dealer also relies on the addiction of his custies and you help him make drug time, fun time. You are what junkies picture in their head when they think of getting high, you have to provide them with a space and atmosphere so that they keep coming back and forget that they’re such aimless losers. It’s your job to be like hey come over and we’ll do ‘shrooms Friday night together then when blasted I’d put my bikini on and dance to MJ for whoever wasn’t too fucked to notice.

I-

I dunno, intelligence? Something you will not come across very much while you are dating this dickbag. You’re going to be doing quite a bit of dumbing yourself down, you know how you’ve had one friend your entire life and you barely hang but when you do you turn into someone else completely cos this friend is a total ignoramus and you bring yourself down to their idiot-level, yeah that’s you and your boyfriend and everybody you come across. We couldn’t find a lighter once and this chick said we could boil water and light our smokes off the steam, ‘nough said.
Also, itching, intimidation.

J-Junky

You are a junky, you are dating a drug dealer, you tell yourself you are not a junky, but you are, smoking weed five times daily and doing blow here and there, yeah, equals junky. Sucks, eh? I guess you could take it down a notch to pothead. Junkies will bang on the window at 5 in the morning for coke cos they ran out of meth. The word junky will never be used cos it makes things real. Being a junky and looking like one are two different things, consider functioning alcoholics, they’re fine and tolerable, encouraged even, but once they are stumbling messes of themselves, goodbye. Same for junkies. If you want to be one of the gang, you have to look the part, yes this is a movie duh. You will barely take showers too cos you will be constantly hung and burnt-out and the feeling of water on you is too much to handle. (I would like to mention that I have never done meth, heroin, acid or injected anything ever in my life, ps.)

Also, joints, rolling them, Johnny Depp.

K-Kate Bosworth in Wonderland

That’s who you want to be, and that’s who you are, and there is always an ex-girlfriend of your boyfriend who is in the background that he keeps secret from you but you are aware of anyway but act otherwise, anyway, she’s crucial ‘cos at least he has her to understand him and tolerate all his shit. Anyway, Kate Bosworth, booooiiiing. Remember the scene when Val Kilmer fucks off for a long time and leaves her alone in a motel room forever, you are going to be doing a lot of waiting so maybe you should start a blog or something.

L-lying

There is going to be a lot of it and eventually you will be doing a lot of it too, dealers are extremely paranoid and uptight and will do little tests to catch you in a lie because they have a lot of time on their hands between dealing and getting high, they see you as an activity. Their craft rubs off on you and soon enough you pull some stunts too. Dealers are all pathological liars so have fun. This is not unlike delusions of grandeur, ‘cos they actually believe the lies they tell you and will fly off the handle if you don’t say you believe them like the very character of their being is under question. The word TRUST will be thrown in your face a lot, try not to laugh hysterically over it. Haha but that’s like every relationship, just large-scale when pretentious drugs are in the mix.

M-money

Do not touch it, do not look at it. Dealers count their money OBSESSIVELY they like to pretend they are Johnny Depp in Blow and money is stacked to the ceiling of every wall, when you see your boyfriend counting his money or worse, your boyfriend and one of his friends speed-counting it together, you will feel very embarrassed for them. What’s worse is, cos you’re dependent on this guy for a social life you have to act cool about it. Oh speaking of that, you do not have a life outside of this guy, you are not allowed cos he is insanely possessive.

Also, mafia, manipulation.

N-Narc

Dealers are extremely wary of narcs, you will be at a house party and your boyfriend will whisper to stay away from so-and-so because they are a narc. 9 times out of 10 this is false information. Who knows how the narc rumors begin and who started them. Why would a narc party with dealers and custies all the time? This isn’t – insert any fucking drug movie here. Rumours were spread about me even being a narc, like if I narc’d on you why didn’t you go to jail? Also, dealers think they are sneaky and all stealth and they’re not, they may as well be running around with fluorescent red arrows hovering over their heads.

O-Opportunity

You will have the opportunity to deal yourself. Don’t. Instead, just hook up people you know and while you should be getting a cut, don’t ever ask. Your boyfriend knows he should be giving you a cut, but he won’t cos he’s greedy and thinks you’re dumb (yes because it’s dumb to have clean hands, idiot). When and if everything goes to shit, that not having anything concrete to do with “the business” will help you sleep better at night. Oh if he ever asks to put money in your bank account the answer is NO. Another important O is Other dealers, you will meet a lot of them, speak their lingo, but for the most part, shut the hell up when in the same room, chances are they are a million times crazier than your bf, who is also petrified of these guys.

Also, OD.

P-Paranoia

This will get on your nerves and drive you total bananas. Remember the I call bullshit article when drug dealers were called out for using code-speak on cellphones? Well, they still do that. But they also fuck up a LOT. They use online chat to set up meetings too which blows my mind, hello bill gates computer evidence that’s catalogued forever. See, paranoia rubs off on you too.
Also, possession.

Q-Quit

He’ll talk about quitting now and again so try not to be discouraging just nod your head and be quietly amused like the world is his oyster and no options are closed to him. He wants to go legit, and that’s cool, but he is so addicted to the riches and the “power” he will never ever be fully legit. Think of it like your dad be-moaning never becoming a rock star or something, no big deal.

R-Rolling joints

This one is up there with being almost as annoying as watching them count their money. Every pothead has an insane amount of pride about their spliff-rolling abilities, and if they fuck it up the first time, they will rip apart the joint and do it over, if there is even a tiny crease they will tear it apart again and you have to sit patiently and not act like your skin is crawling up your face. Then when it is passed around you all have to comment on how amazing it is and usually it’s packed too tight and runs anyway so you waited all that time for nothing. Bongs are mostly a west coast thing, not really an option, I think it boils down to suburban kids being too paranoid to have a drug implement hanging around from all the coke they do. You will get really good at rolling joints, little pinners are the best and always appreciated.

S-Scarface complex

One of the first things the second dealer I dated said to me was that he had a Scarface complex and it took every bit of effort to not fucking erupt in a volcanic fit of laughter. I could write a book based on how that was the stupidest thing I ever heard. This guy had gold rings on every one of his fingers and used to polish them all one by one at house parties in the kitchen in front of everybody WTF? Dear Italians who idolize Al Pacino in Scarface, dude was a CUBE (no NOT Italian believe it or not) so SHUT UP and he dies in the end!

Also, sketchy.

T-threats

Laugh when this happens to you then make some back. The one guy told me he hid coke somewhere in my house and if I ever ratted him out he would tell the police I had all this blow at my house, I believed it for a second then was all nah, so bullshit. They will avoid hitting you in the face if they know you come from a good background and will call the cops on them, but that won’t stop them from threatening to do it you know when you hold your fist up and make your face all ugly-mean, push the envelope here, you have to, laugh at them, call their bluff.

U-user

User, junky, hophead, pillhead, coke-fiend, whatever, these are your peers for the next little while and you know, you don’t even have to be dating a dealer to hang with these geniuses, some of you probably have a few in your circle already. A user is someone who uses, a dealer is someone who gives a user something to use, obvs.

V-vans

After awhile you will be pretty paranoid yourself and every van you see you will think it is the FBI (Flowers By Irene haha, no seriously.) You might think it is terrorists too, this is why I can’t smoke weed anymore. Burn on me.

Also, Vancouver.

W-weed

Try to smoke as little weed as possible cos you will start to go manic and piss everyone off. You will learn about all different kinds of weed, oh and this is a way for female custies to flirt with your boyfriend in front of you, because you obviously do not give a shit about the quality or kind of weed, but the girl custies act disgustingly enthusiastic over it while getting high with you guys and you have to swallow your rage. They are usually from BC and are insanely annoying and your bf has a pink crush on them from all their flirting, which is solely a means to get free or cheap weed.

X- x-pensive things

The first dealer I was with was kinda a cheapskate, the other one liked to front, so money was blown a lot, this goes back to the Scarface mentality, Goodfellas, whatever, you are supposed to make people feel inadequate beside you by way of dazzle-camouflage, and when you have nice shoes on and jeans you forget all the bad stuff. Don’t get greedy though and don’t let him buy you everything because every time you fight it will be mentioned and used against you.

Y-Yes-men/Yes-man

Your bf is a yes-man and he hates himself because of it, but that’s how he makes money and in order to cleanse himself of the sleaze what is yes-manism, he has a bunch of groupie yes-men at his beck and call, they are all full-on addicts, and sketchy guys who drive him around and do drop-offs for/with him and get a tiny cut, typically paid in drugs.

Z-zoloft

I took anti-depressants while dating the second dealer cos the first one fucked me up so much, long story short, Zoloft plus drugs isn’t a good idea, it made me manic again. I am not on them anymore and all the weight they made me gain is off finally too. There are many possible outcomes from dating a dealer that could happen to you, the main one is bitterness. You will also feel embarrassed, but whatever, it wasn’t so bad, there were some good times (keep telling yourself that). And guess what for the rest of your life you get to start conversations with I dated a dealer once and all of your stories will be ten times more ridiculous than everyone else’s. WINNER.

-RaymiRaymiTheMinx.com
Editor’s Note: Decided to close this thread because it’s getting boring.

I like hearing wannabe suicide girl types bemoan how hardcore they’re living being some fucking two-bit weed and coke dealer’s girlfriend. Yeah, babe, you really lived the life. it’s going to be a great memoir someday when you’ve squirted out a couple of kids and are bored with your upper-middle-class husband.

not really, i was doing this garbage before all that shit even existed. there is no ego when it comes to having burning hot pizza slammed in your face and being spat on multiple times you know-it-all troll, why not write a guide to being a messageboard winner?

It takes a lot of smarts for people to say terribly witty things to cover up their own insecurities at how much they live sucky, boring lives. I’m constantly amazed at how transparent Raymi-bashing can be.

haha jesus, the article was good but half of the comments you responded to weren’t even insulting. I’d say you were insecure but then maybe I’d be one of those know-it-all troll’s you despise.

see the irony? — you write a guide to dating drug dealers but people that comment on it come across as “know it all’s”. Maybe you need to get your ego or insecurities (I’m no sigmund freud) in check here instead of insisting others do.

I like the article, but next time don’t sink to the level of comments posted by anon’s.

see, this is why nobody likes white girls.
1. never having done acid is nothing to brag about.
2. you boned (AND hung out with) a fucking 20 dollar gram of weed douchebag for a couple months and now you think you LIVED the A to Zs of drug dealing.
3. your pictures are irrelevant. BUT IM PAYING ATTENTION TO IT SO YOU WIN.

Leave the poor woman alone. It isn’t like she is trying to validate a lengthy cocaine fueled existence spent being plunged by an 8th grade drop out in a tacky $500 jacket by humorously posting this fine entry! Bitch is all ass and class.

You guys are all fuckbags. Self-obsession? What the fuck people– what the hell should she be writing about- third world debt relief? Would that be sufficiently selfless for you to shut the fuck up and pull that metal rod out of your asses? Why don’t you go read about that shit if you don’t want to read articles on a freaking site called streetboners.

She isn’t claiming to be the end-all authority on big-time drug dealing for christ sake or even anything in that ballpark. This is an article about her own fucking life experience and the dealers SHE HAS KNOWN and the shitty relationship failings that you should avoid. Fuck off.

dont want to be a dick or anything, but this just a little bit too safe.

im sure you could shock some girl-tweens with this maybe (havent most 13 year old girls done all this shit already?) actually no this really sucks.

and OH MY FUCKING GOD – this girl smoked LOTS AND LOTS of MARAJUANA!!!!!! holee shiiiit!!! now she can write articles about being a cool myspace girl and call herself a junkie.

the more i think about it the more i want to punch you in the face for calling yourself a junkie.

you neeeeed to seeeeeee some REAL SHIT. you can call yourself a junkie when you have had a big scab on your face that didnt go away for one whole year. then you qualify. till then, keep your horror storys for the few remaining 12 year old girls left in america with LESS life experience than you.

what the fugmo is this? raymi yore riteing is the pain ot read, sincerely. I like how she references the classic I Call BS article in the vain (apt choice of word) hope that we will confuse this low quality aping of the Eh to Zed format with something funny. sorry this is funny, I mean ‘laff with’ funny tho. hey toronto what’s your contribution to Street Boners? “uh.. we can give you a lame exhibitionist chick from etobicoke bleating loud and proud about sucking dick for coke …and weed” oy vhatta vorld

True Stories – back in the late nineties, Raymi suggested to Gavin that VICE pay for her and her awful poseur stripper cum genuine awful painter friend to travel around the States having zany adventures and like, film it. srsly dewdes

She has been involved in several of the most embarassingly “lookit me daddy” and attention starvedly cringible internet romances in internerd history, the worst with a little twerp from LA who modelled his own excruciatingly boring blog on her excruciatingly boring blog, and I think they thought they were going to become famous, like some kind of meta couple blog royalty. it reality it was like two toilets flushing in sync. her blog is real boring due to lack of quality control like she talks about Survivor and thinks people outside of the sad elderly 5-fetishists who pay for her used A-cups give two shits. also it is littered with pictures of this gangly doofus who looks like a boobless bird women from cambodia gene-spliced with white trash that’s just won a gift certificate to Black Market

She wants to be the female Douglas Coupland, and is achieving this goal by self publishing several books that zero people have bought outside of the aforementioned 5-fetishists

what are people pissed about here? this article was great. everything was dead accurate and funny. so what if she’s self-obsessed? y’all are self-obsessed too. you guys are a bunch of whiny jealous brats. damn count brad lee, you just wrote a book on two people you supposedly could give a shit about.

truth be told i sat on this for over a year, vice contacted ME to write for them when they read my post ripping on white kids with dreadlocks, have any of you been contacted by vice, never? ok. anyway, they rejected it cos it was TOO DARK for them, so i took out all the stories of being back-handed, dragged down the street by my hair in the middle of the nite, garbage bags full of shrooms tossed onto my lap in the back seat of a car, screamed at during house parties when no one comes to defend you..etc etc you think i would waste my time writing an article if i only dated some suburban fag who has like barely a half ounce sitting around? when i was 18 the second i graduated high school i moved to brooklyn and said vice give me a job and i did when i was just some asshole who stank up their online forums AS YOU DOUCHES ARE NOW the difference is i had the gall to step out from behind my computer and show up, which of you have did that?

and the LA dude, you don’t even know half the fucking story and thank you for bringing that up, i was in a goddamn psychosis at the time from the first fucking abusive dick dealer and all our scumbag friends, anyway, you don’t know the full story but i am impressed at your ability to hold on to useless knowledge like that oh what else, yeah he got me pregnant and i had an abortion and he fucked off after two weeks. yeah, totally thought i was going to be famous you chump.

I love how laymi stalks web forums all self-obsessed and neurotic to quickly dismiss shit said about her.

The fact that you assume that everyone wants to forgo schooling and hightail it to NYC to suck off some dude for a few paragraphs is SAD. Uh, yeah, bitch. Don;t assume we don’t have proper and succesful jobs and just hate on you because you can write whimsical tales all day while trying on various outfits and live off your man.

We hate you because of who you are (and I’m assuming some of us have met you based on the comments) or what you represent.

yawn the internet IS my job sorry you hate it i do not live off my man thank you for being the ten millionth person to say that and if i was quick to stalk this i would have been awake all nite replying to every goddamn comment, i am awake now so here i am, as are you. maybe if your job was more whimsical you wouldn’t be so sad?

You guys are working yourself up harder about this than a fetishist with a sweat on, can you chill?

I’ll agree that weed isn’t the most intense or hardcore of drugs in anyone’s world but the money around it will attract some of the most intense and hardcore of people. There’ll always be the Bob Saget character to get up and say “You’re addicted to WEED? I sucked dick for coke!”

She isn’t looking for pity points and she isn’t starting a competition, if it helps one girl or even to help a dude see himself in the mirror to see it in a new light or outsider’s perspective then who cares how annoyed or outraged you are that someone’s got their shit together instead of sucking you off for coke.

It’s clear that you want to assume that she was off sucking dick for glue because why wouldn’t you start with the realistic assumption – that being that she was DATING a DEALER, I think it mentioned that in the TITLE.

Ashley – you realize 3 hits of acid and you’re legally insane? Can’t drive an airplane? I’m not saying I haven’t done 30 but with all the unknowns factored into the equation you have to admit that it’s smarter not to have touched it. I don’t know how increased probability of mental illnesses or spiral deformation in exchange for 8 solid hours of feelin’ cool factors into your definition of smart or something to brag about.

I can’t believe you’re offended by this!
Wow I can’t believe there’s pictures of you here how self obsessed WOW!!
well I’m just gonna lose my fucking horse carriage over it how PERSONALLY OFFENSIVE
I just gotta say something because I cant stand this yep,
my life revolves around this right now and there’s nothing i can do but shit myself all over this forum
WAAH YOU SUCK the internet is ruining my life
I can’t believe you’re defending yourself this is really over the top
its so fucking self obsessed to defend yourself YOU ARE SELF OBSESSED
bunch of fucking losers
TEH END

Ryan, thanks for repeating that stupid high school bullshit about hits of acid making you insane. God you guys are retards.

seriously, i think you are actually possibly the most brilliant satirist in the entire world with your hot pizza in the face and the garbage bags of mushrooms. dood so hardcore I can’t even cope with it. it’s kinda like how this one time I saw someone who was high off opium and i was all omg omg that shit is going to make my eyes explode because i saw it.

also, attempting to take away from the severity of having my face scalded and scratched up with pizza is such a dickhead move, honestly, do you make women stoning jokes too? do you want me to list every nasty thing that happened to me during that time?

bacon double cheeseburger, in the car in front of pizza pizza, hadnt eaten all day i was a shivering loser weak mess and all i wanted was to eat my fucking pizza and go home. i jumped out of the car with sauce all over my shit and ran away but of course got right back in.

What’s with the comments? I’m getting a real pathetic vibe from this site. The couple of you that seem to hate Raymi most are obviously obsessed with her. I don’t really get why people get so worked up. Do you feel threatened somehow? Why?

Raymi put herself out there and wasn’t afraid to have a bit of a laugh about it. What are you talking aboot hir riting fer u reeetrds? Do you really come to “Street Boners and TV whatevers” for the world class writing? Man.

Dealers are losers- and they don’t become less pathetic the bigger quantities they sell you fucking dumdums.

Actually, you can all bite my wang. Aren’t you retards bored of all this shit yet? It’s all about being street and hard and all fucked up and stupid and mean is it?

And you wouldn’t want to be born middle class or god forbid upper class. No, that would suck. Poor is where it’s at right? You think any really hard, poor motherfucker growing plants in some 3rd world country has any idea what the fuck you dinks are talking about half the time? Oh man… what a bunch of silly cunts.

The thing I like about this article is that there was a sense that Raymi wants to move on past all the bullshit. At least that is what I totally got from it.

This tired hack will fuck anyone who pays her way. Leave her a comment about why she doesn’t have a job and she’ll claim she’s bipolar and distraught from seeing the World Trade Centers fall down (once she woke up hungover at 4pm and turned someone elses tv on). The internet can’t wait to see what she’s doing in her 30s (if she hasn’t already reached those), when she’s still an unemployed cocksucking talentless camwhore living with her dear old unemployed cocksucking talentless camwhore mum, (because her current meal ticket bf will have wisened up by then and thrown this trashy skank OUT). If you guys want an article on drug dealers and their prostitute gfs, find someone real.

And don’t attempt to validate your loser existence with tales of abuse and abortions now because you only look like more of a loser. You could’ve walked out if only you could stand to get a JOB.

after 12 brutal rounds the judges have conferred and the winner of the epic match Raymi versus the (mostly) Anonymous Internet commenters is….Raymi! why? because this fairly unremarkable piece (in my humble opinion – clearly I am wrong given the intensity of the comments) has aroused such passion and lulz. and that’s the point. she wins. not sure what the prize is though. go click on her ads as penance.

Why so mean? This chick regularly gets looked at (or probably past) by some girl at a restaurant or something and then runs home to her ‘condo’ (read: shitty bloor street apartment) and pounds out an incoherent diatribe about all the people who give her the cut eye because she’s so beautiful, while putting the innocent person’s picture up as well. Maybe they’re staring at you because your eating alone on a Tuesday afternoon while obsessively taking pictures of yourself.

Whats with all the cock sucking remarks
OMG you guys are so edgy
BLOWJOB
ANUS
POO POO HEAD
stop blowing my mind with your creative insults
You know you just called someone a whore over and over cause she wrote a 1000 word blurb on this site
wtf really that’s so imposing? oh you just can’t ignore it

If you don’t put your ‘I love Raymi’ t-shirt and underwear in the dirty clothes hamper with the rest of your clothes, I’m going to throw everything away, and make your wear the same outfit everyday. I’m sick and tired, Bern.

The reason we’re anonymous is because Raymi is so fucking nuts and insecure, she’ll fucking webstalk you and threaten to publish shit about people she feels have slighted her, on her blog.

And then when some “fat jealous bitch” has the audacity to look at Raymi (because she’s SO BEAUTIFUL, OF COURSE, and not because she looks like a fucking cuntbag), she then scampers home to spew some pathetic hate-filled posts about bitches being SO JEALOUS of her. What a burden – eh, Raymi?

It’s hilarious because as much as she and her minions come on here to defend her STD-ridden ass, she is just as guilty – if not more – of spewing gazillion webpages about random innocent people in Toronto, who wanted nothing to do with her douche website and then somehow end up on it because they’re so fucking jealous of her, obvs.

I’d just like to know how, of all the times she’s yipped at someone at a bar because she fancies herself a sassy, take-no-guff kinda broad, that boyfriend of hers has never gotten knocked out by someone. Does he just sit there and not say anything, or is he under the table cringing from embarassment?

hey do-raymi and friends – don’t you know how obvious layme and bernie (and his momma) and the rest are you dummies. watching you all get your panties in a bunch is even more fun than hot pizza in the grill. you’re still a triple digit comment winner!

“And you wouldn’t want to be born middle class or god forbid upper class. No, that would suck. Poor is where it’s at right? You think any really hard, poor motherfucker growing plants in some 3rd world country has any idea what the fuck you dinks are talking about half the time? Oh man… what a bunch of silly cunts.”

I don’t think anyone wants to be born poor, but whats wrong with seeing the brighter side of being poor (life experience). The majority of people are poor or middle class, just the way it is in our society and as such there will always be people ready to bash on the rich.

We are only making comments because shit like this pollutes the internet too much and it’s fucking annoying. Perhaps if we verbally abuse you via comments, you and people like you will stop writing this fucking self-absorbed bullshit. The worst thing that can happen is that you encourage yourself to write more despite these negative comments. Start writing something intelligent or RELEVANT and people may leave intelligent and relevant comments. Telling the internet you dated drug dealers because you wanted to be a fucking cool party chick provided with pictures of your unhealthy pale, naked body just makes anyone with half a brain think twice about women’s suffrage…and all the young, insecure blog-trolling scenester girls that come to your blog to admire your coked-out suicide girl looks will follow this A-to-Z guide to being a goddamn loser because in light of it all, you’re not dead!

YO U FUCKING HOE. SEE N IS FOR NARC AND IM NARCING U OUT FOR LOOKING LIKE LIKE A PASTY TRANNY. IF I EVER SEE YOU IN SHITTY TORONTO BEING A FUCK I WILL SLAP ANOTHER PEICE OF SQUARE PIZZA PIZZA SLICE ACROSS YOUR FUKING FACE AND GIVE YOU SOME FUKING COLOR. THIS ARTICLE WAS FUCKING WIDLY GAY N U SHOULD BE FUKING ASHAMED. GO RUB YOUR LONG DICK TO YOUR LAME BLOG AND POST MORE PIKS OF YOUR FUCKING KOK AND RUBBER TITZ NIGGA.

To Raymis’ bf- dude you can do way better. Find someone with a some class instead of this dumb using ho who’s had every dick in town up her ass. Raymi- way to diss your meal ticket, you arrogant diseased self-absorbed loser.

what’s all this IP BS? I haven’t been on your lame site in ages LAUREN. Your flatty patties and skinny lad’s arse don’t do it for me. I think the last time was about 5 years ago while looking for material to roast you with, this was before we succeeded in bullying you off the Viceland forums for sport. it’s difficult not to know a lot about a girl who posts endless obnoxious and boring teenage viewpoints all over your favorite magazine’s message board

I dunno why you’re surprised that you annoy people with your narcissitic preening. at least narcissus was hot. also no idea why you’re outraged that people call you on your blather. the thing with blogging every cringeworthy detail of your life all over the internet is that you sacrifice your right to privacy, not to mention that of your family and everyone else unfortunate enough to be sucked into orbit around your schnozz. we don’t like you or care about your feelings so why should we hold back on referencing things you’ve gayly paraded around with pride. we get off on schadenfreude so what did you expect

as for your spiel about how in demand you are in Brooklyn, I recall an item in the Vice letter’s page several years back when they printed a whining screech of an email to them following your utter failure as an intern there. I believe the header went something along the lines of “Confessions of a stupid, spoiled, selfish lazy slut”

where is christi bradnox, thought she was going to be a regular contributor.. at least this article provides a good frame of comparison in the sense that her “people who need to die” article is a 10 whereas this Guide To Dating A Drug Dealer So You Can Blog About It is a zero. thanks for exemplifying the other end of the spectrum numbskull

You do realize how much of a loser you sound like and that she was 17 at the time of writing in the forums and it still made her a legend and you are fighting about something from THE INTERNET from 1999! No one even remembers who you are brad lee and your facts are wrong. She stopped when the forums switched over to messageboard, one of the flamers waited and waited to get the raymi handle, got it, then vice wrote her and said they banned who took it and they saved it for her, she never re-registered it, no point to, because her blog was already flourishing by then, and for years afterward she was talked about in the threads. There was no dealer in Brooklyn, learn how to read. The response to her Vice ruined my Life letter is called SATIRE.

I think you are confusing “legend” with “bell end”. that means dickhead.

like many over-indulged suburban only-children who are a hundred times less intelligent than they’ve been told by their parents all their life, lauren is incapable of taking any criticism.
lucky for her, she suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder brought on by pizza burns (listen cheese abuse is not funny guys) so she’s able to respond to the endless and honest barbs by retreating into another wholly different attention-desperate hobag persona and then fart back into her main brain, which fools her into thinking she actually has supporters beyond the acorn wienered chumps who paypal 5 canadian dollars for her dried clots and ass hair

This article is a lame attempt at humor by a fame obsessed former coke whore. The alphabet format is juvenile and not witty. Dating drug dealers = looking for a meal ticket. How little things have changed with Layme in that respect.

This thread is hilarious. I’ve seen her blog and there’s not much advertising on it, so she’d have to sell a lot of Layme mouse pads and fridge magnets to eat out in restaurants and get drunk all the time. Maybe the odd “fan” (read: chump) of her vain, obnoxious preening will buy a piece of her poorly executed art, but there’s no way she supports herself on it.

She is obviously lying when she says the internet is her job. Layme the liar. She either lives off her cuckolded boyfriend, welfare, or a combination of both.

brad lee you’re a swab so you don’t count, you gotta wonder about someone so practiced at puttin people down – have they made a lifetime out of it? it’s better to be a pretentious john lennon wannabe than a pretentious mark david chapman wannabe, you fuckin nothings.

the reason why it’s so sketchy of you swabs and why you can’t respect these anonymous comments is because she puts herself out there and the rest of you don’t.

so you can either assume that y’all have nothing TO put out there, or are spineless, or are
if this is a war in the comments then she’s the one out in the open and the rest of you are jacking off behind dark windows with a clear shot. it’s spineless because however self-righteous or abrasive or offended you sound, you’re hiding.

put yourself out in the open and you’d get punched in the face for saying shit half so bad in any city and i’m sorry that you’re so personally offended by somebody’s teenage memories but to go overboard like that is gonna reveal more about your sad lonely asses than hers. when you kill yourselves, try to just drown – leave the good knives clean for the civilized folk.

Raymi is an artist and was finding her niche when you jealous hosers were still taking money out of your parents wallets to buy weed she was smart enough to suck dick for it. and it will be a long time before you stop talking about me and my sushi pics which doesn’t make her so irrelevent does it

im sorry some folks dont think so, but not really you seem like wankers to hang with

but raymi you have what toronto-has-to-the-rest-of-canada syndrome; everyone pretends to hate it galore and folks talk about it galore,even though nobody asked for the opinions in the first place, but it (toronto) and you (raymi) are still the centre of a cultural experience, a reason to have an opinion, people can demonstrate their authenticity by bringing you down, just like when people from towns nobody cares about but them talk about how much they dont like toronto, same deal.

hmmmm whats that syndrome called?

lets call it relevance syndrome.

when something is relevant, it must be hated on by folks who wish THEY were relevant.

uh no, there are plenty of reasons why you are so sad, but you do acknowledge that this level of trolling requires an explanation, good for you

lets see, there’s

jealousy

boredom

passion for being a wanker

not having enough friends in real life

you have a job you hate so you pass time hating on people you dont know after you find out what perez is doodling lolzorzie and you cant believe people pay you so u feel guilty and so u think that bringing raymi down is some kind of charity you are doing for society and if only you could call her fat or ugly one more time maybe she will disappear like she’s never heard of such unoriginality b4

you yourself are not relevant so you interject yourself into someone elses relevance for a cultural experience and so that people talk to you

your blog flopped and not even your parents read it even tho they found it

maybe you are ugly or husky and attractive people taking pictures of themselves makes you better than them because you dont think ur vain but are still vain enough to try to matter to someone else so much that you monitor your attacks like you just did

you can only be alt by hating on people you think are mainstream bcoz then u r funnie

you wish one day raymi will invite you out to a party and until that day will work hard on mattering to her somehow

you try to emulate her fashion sense but lack the confidence and that bothers u

or my fave ‘splanation,
you cant explain why raymi is so great so you provoke her fans into helping u understand so that u too can be great maybe one day

Seaflow whatever the fuck bing bang – are you for fucking real?! We HAVE met Raymi. We HAVE been to her stupid parties. We fucking hate her. END OF STORY.

Unfortunately we can’t say anything in the “real world” (so sad) because she is a fucking psycho cunt/ Jesus, just ask the various friends she has fallen out with. I don’t fear the insecure psycho wrath. I just can’t be bothered with the fucking dramaz that would come of it.

if u cant be bothered with dramaz u sure have a lot of time to have it out on here tho rite?

like hullo, what do u think ur doing here exactly except protracting drama except this way you dont have a real name or face so u dont have to you know be brave enuff to stand by ur drama-laden convictions about this woman

it seems 2 me that u love the drama why slag on someone all day about it if you werent addicted , see? point finale

Seafllo: It’s called Tall Poppy Syndrome, and it means trying to bring someone down when they become famous or successful or both. It doesn’t, however, apply to Raymi. More like Pulling Weeds Syndrome.

ryan ray- check your dick for bumps.
raymi- lol, at you making reference to ‘my sushi pics’ as another name. duuuuuude, you’re a loser. you are not an artist. you are not an awesome party girl. you are most certainly not a writer. your a girl who got her ass kicked repeatedly by another loser so you could smoke free weed. you’re a loser. if anyone ever had the audacity to even think about giving me a pizzaface… the last thing i would do is tell the free english speaking world.
but seriously.
show me your tits you fucking slut.

So she disabled comments on her blog and only responds here under a fake name in a faux third party defense. Someone isn’t as brassy and sassy as they’d like to think. And Tommy you can ease up on the chivalry thing, she’s not going to cut you a deal on her ‘art work.’ Sushi and H&M peasant tops ain’t cheap you know.

The title of Layme’s article, Guide to Dating a Drug Dealer, intrigued me. I read her article with an open mind. I thought her writing was derivative but more to the point, forgettable. When I read the comments on here from people who have known Layme, I read through her blog.

In one of her recent entries, Layme decides not to discuss music with an old lady who lives in her building because the neighbour is a “dinosaur” – after reading that, I disliked Layme immediately. She seems to have no compassion or empathy for other people. That she has “fans” (read: human lemmings) is beyond my comprehension.

Layme intrigues me (no, she hasn’t “won” – I compare reading her blog to watching a trainwreck) because I browse a lot of blogs which I find engaging, but Layme’s is so far the only one wherein the more I read, the more I find I really dislike her. She is quick to judge and take cheap shots at people who look at her the wrong way, and her skewering that they do so because they are “jealous” is indeed psychotic. I would agree with the earlier post that Layme likely has Borderline Personality Syndrome.

What if Corporate Hack finally sees the truth that Layme is a mooch, a user and a loser, that he’s been cuckolded by a vain, needy no-mind for too long, and meets another woman who appreciates and acknowledges whatever support he may give her, if at all (instead of publicly denying it like Layme), and drives Layme with all her Special Ed art back to the suburbs? What can we expect from Layme the Jinx then? Dumpster food porn?

“wannabe john lennon”?? who are you kidding. more like wannabe Margot Kidder. anyway I’m glad Mark David Chapman killed that hectoring old hippie fool, it was time for him to die, it was getting embarrassing. can you imagine lennon in the 80’s? ay yi yi.. that murder was a blessing. and it was a murder not an assassination, we’re talking about a scouse jingle writer not MLK or Reinhard Heydrich or some shit

the argument that anonymity somehow undermines our opinions and observations of your public behavior is ridiculous. If I win a free pass to watch the new Adam Sandler movie and see that it’s shit, and then read a bunch of reviews that investigate and articulate exactly why it is so shit, it doesn’t matter who the reviewers are. if a mysterious hand made out of fart fumes writes “water’s wet” does that give credibility to the “water’s dry” argument? resorting to crying “I don’t know who’s dissing me so these painfully accurate burns don’t count” is the last refuge of the loser in a flaming tailspin. for the record I have no problem with sane people knowing who I am, any broads that don’t look like Sofia Coppola’s heavily retarded abortion all grown up want to get in touch please feel free to feel me here – journeypenis@gmail.com

however it’s laughable that you’re expecting us to divulge detailed personal info to a psycho hose beast with extensive mental problems and a proven track record of stalking and harrassment.. generally I don’t offer up my identity to sociopathic coke whores who fraternize with (read ‘get sodomized by’) the seediest dregs of parkdale lowlife scum. I don’t even live in toronto anymore but based on what I’ve heard about your mental disorders it sounds like you’d try to fuck around with my family. that said, next time you’re in the UK, I know a great pizza place

It’s so obvious Raymi is now commenting as “seaflow bada boom sis bang”. I’m definitely not jealous of her. She fights with her mother for blog theater and can’t seem to keep a girlfriend for longer than a week. Nor do I want to be her. She is ugly to the core.

Also, please don’t mention the UK, bitch has been going ON AND ON AND ON AND ON about how she spent 2 fucking months at some writing course in Oxford. If I have to hear that rehashed piece of shit story of when she “lived” in the UK TEN FUCKING YEARS AGO I might just punch her in the mouth to shut her up. Oh, and while we’re at it, I wish she would stf up about her grandfather being the second cousin or whateverthefuck of Jack Kerouac.

Jack Kerouac sucked. I pretended to like that shit in highschool but like after graduating university, i realised what windbag he was.

Ward: hahahaha – that was funny. she has artwork? i don’t give a fuck about ray-ray. just thought we had collectivley mined this out – but the fact she has apparently decided to re-appear under pseudonyms certainly justifies continued abuse to ol’ pizza face.

um so i’m a monster for making an old person joke in my head and then on my blog and you guys aren’t for solidly abusing me for the past 72 hours? do you not get that what i put on my blog is just entertainment fodder and that in real life i’m actually a kind and accommodating person? you don’t even know the back story to it, i regularly write about old coots in my building who snub me and it’s funny. do you think i don’t know what i’m doing when i stretch out a five second verbal exchange with someone, who either is or isn’t rude to me, do you think that my personality is truly that insane? do you not get that i am playing story teller for crying out loud! or are you that far-deep into my blog and life and stories that you cannot separate anything anymore? do i talk about how i am related to kerouac everyday? NO. people like to mention it in interview blurbs, it means more to them then it does me, why are you focusing on it?

the last i commented here was as ‘oh please’ and i only did that because as raymi it explodes ten-fold, i wanted to clear up some facts and instead of going oh ok then you plow on through and attack attack attack. fine.

it is clear that you wanted me to come back and fight with you, and yes it is wickedly tough to restrain myself, by nature i am hugely defensive and i totally have a self-persecution complex but no i don’t go walking around thinking every girl is jealous of me jesus fuck, when i say shit like that you are missing the tone big time.

these people you are referring to that i have fallen out with are the people who have all taken turns using, abusing, taking advantage of me, fucking me over, stealing, shit slinging to the point where i was forced to cut them off and i would not allow them to mooch off me anymore and they still all got together to have drug burn-out parties talking about the good ole days with raymi meanwhile i was 19, strung out and clearly needed help and they just kept fucking me over. every single one of them is a complete useless fuck-up now anyway.

i have many wonderful friends in my life now whom i love dearly and i love my boyfriend and appreciate him more than anything, i don’t know how someone who doesn’t even know us can assume otherwise from a blog.

i was nice to leave both names of these dealers out of the piece.

streetcarnage could post another story of mine that would just be several paragraphs of mashing the keyboard and still there would be a thread of raymi hate following it.

anyway, the irony is you hate me for the exact same thing you do everyday in these threads, why not start your own blog?

dude hate to break it to you, the fact that stranger losers on the internet continue to be obsessed with my every move and detail of my past, equals LEGEND. it’s just a term TAKE IT TO HEART MORE WHY DON’T YOU!

Chuckie Cheese I’ll moderate the debate a little bit for your dumb ass. Say she calls you on being a fuckup. You, in a vain attempt to vindicate yourself, will-attempt to discredit her. The point is, it doesn’t matter if it’s an assistant crack whore or judge or family member that’s telling you that you’re a twat for calling girls dirtbag shitstains over the internet – it’s still just as true.

That said, Ashley, you’re cunty; and by your anger you sound like your ass got fucked way too hard or not nearly hard enough and either way this is funny to me. Show your tits, no one’s looking, fuck yourself, they’re called Fordyce’s spots I checked.

Bradlee you have a grade-four level crush and boner on her, deal with it. Forget that we went the route of discrediting commenters and noting that you swabs have more material to work with in an internet flame war, mainly because she’s put it out there and has the biggest balls of them all.

Quit flashing your gay email address, finding sluts on the internet is what ugly dudes do. You know you’d get that rumpled-up and mashed-together foreskin of a face hit and the straightest of your weird British teeth knocked into your gay cumshot of a stomach if you said this shit face-to-fucked-up-face in Canada so explain again and again why you insist on doing it over the internet.

Verbal and mental abuse and schadenfreude over the net is all well and fine but you guys went from zero to sixty, do you throw bottles at every drug-warning commercial that you see on television? The irony’s that the problem’s not hers, it was years ago and she’s over it; you’re the ones with the pent-up rage.

You’re arguing that she’s got problems if she was in an abusive relationship in teen years and you’re laughing about a pizza in her face and I’m arguing that you’ve got problems to be a part of the problem. A pizza in the face on a clown show could get your rocks off sure but a pizza to a girl’s face in real life is fucking low and there’s no grey area to it at all, it isn’t an opinion question to any legal system of any civilized country in the free world, it’s abuse and woman abuse and it’s where you missed the cue to stop laughing and start fighting and that’s why we’d always get the first shot in on your dumb asses if this were a bar and not a website.

She’s easygoing and she does know how to laugh at herself too, there’s no sense throwing someone’s past and medical history in their face unprovoked and uninvited. Keep it on the topic of dating a drug dealer and if it’s a debate over whether girls deserve abuse, which it seems to be, do you even realize that you’re on the wrong side of it?

“unprovoked and uninvited”? she’s put it all on the internet, just short of posting her Pap Smear results so it’s hardly unprovoked and uninvited.

do you not get it she is REVILED not WORSHIPPED, she is a washed up never-was, and only played the abuse card when the reaction to her post was something less than her massive ego expected. women get raped and hacked everyday for real, at least she got lunch out of it.

Scalded with pizza? I bet you can’t make a sandwich let alone a pizza, so it was delivered which means it was warm at best. Do yourself a favour and STFU now. Do you know what real suffering is, you git?

just letting you haters know that my blog hits are WAY up and bonus, i’ve lost 3 lbs, so thanks guyz, cheers!!! thank god fil picked me up an extra box of wine to celebrate my fame and awesomeness.

for your information, i was frickin hungover when i woke up this afternoon but that didn’t stop me from doing MY JOB, even though shit kept leaking out of my ass, not fun. speaking of shit, i just took a HUGE dump and omgzies does my condo ever stink now! P. U. I’ll post all the photos as soon as I can sit down again. le sigh.

You think you “win” because your hits are way up, you’ve starved yourself to 3lbs lighter, and your loser bf picked up some wine?

Sadly, no; you lose, Lauren, because you are a bad a person. A genuine awful human. It’s not your fault though: sociopaths are born, not made (no, really, look it up). The sad irony of it all is, shitty people never know that they’re fucking awful douchebag twats. Oh well.

And of course, your dude, Phil/ Corporate Fraud, isn’t going to say anything otherwise. He is still in the honeymoon phase and still can’t believe that he’s fucking the chick he wanked over from the internet many moons ago.

oh ya dickwads, if you read my blog you’d SRSLY know there are far more embarassing things about me cos unlike you i’m not afraid to be honest. i share everything with you guyz even my bowel movements and menstrual periods, how many of you can say the same? zero? oh. that’s what i thought you cowards. way to be fags much.

excuse me while i go change out of my shitstained underpants and stuff an o.b. tampon up my legendary cooch. go, me! i’ll blog more about that hawtness in my next post as soon as fil hurries the f up and refills my empty wine mug so’s i can get back to workzies. lates, dudes. HUGS.

ryan ray’s impassioned defence of raymi is the funniest thing I’ve read since reading about raymi’s fugly face getting burned widda pizza pie. too bad the glamorous shake dealer rame dogg was rimming for stems didn’t hold it down longer, maybe he could have sizzled down that hillock of a honker a bit

“A pizza in the face on a clown show could get your rocks off sure but a pizza to a girl’s face in real life is fucking low and there’s no grey area to it at all, it isn’t an opinion question to any legal system of any civilized country in the free world, it’s abuse and woman abuse and it’s where you missed the cue to stop laughing and start fighting and that’s why we’d always get the first shot in on your dumb asses if this were a bar and not a website”

this is why I abuse losers on the internet, to provoke awful Word Carnage like the above.. it’s how I’ve had to make due since ‘not fit to print’ was scrapped in favour of articles on children’s day camp in Syria and articles on dumpster diving. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried finding sluts on the internet brah but the hot ones want to see a picture right away. luckareeI’m a 9, maybe a high 9 if my pupils are really dilated

in the unlikely event he isn’t one of raymi’s imaginary friends, unless he’s built like a linebacker I could probably beat up Ryan Raymi, but this is beside the point. it doesn’t matter if I’m a brain in a jar attached to an exoskeleton made out of a pygmy skeleton – talking shit on the internet is a battle of brains and vocab, and it’s a tell tale sign of a scrabbling mouthbreathing moron out of his depth to resort to “boo hoo if we were in a bar I’d totally kiss you” retorts. if the only place you can win an argument is in an imaginary bar in canada it’s time to pack it in. the whole “ooh I’m a web defender of women suffering from women abuse” schtick is pathetic.. nothing more testeless than a guy sucking up on a phony feminism angle hoping to get a few used tampons chucked his way.

“you swabs have more material to work with in an internet flame war, mainly because she’s put it out there and has the biggest balls of them all.”

braw haw I knew it, raymi was born with “ambiguous genitalia”. in summation she’s a joke and we’re gleeful dicks who like laughing. all you crybabies stop handwringing like meddling parents.. do not attempt to stay our textual pizza pushing. ok I’m going to cornwall for the weekend to whirl around dogs by their leashes and throw em into the undertow, y’all have fun now pussies

So, I don’t get it. On one hand she says that she exaggerates for effect, Raymi is a character she created, it’s creative writing, etc…then she says she’s so brave for being honest and candidly sharing her life. You don’t get to have it both ways.

HEY CUNT BRADLEE YOU FUCKING LOSER OOH COMMENTS MORE COMMENTS i can just see you sitting there in the dark rubbing your hands togethe r you pathetic turd bet youve been up for 3 days watching this post you fucken dink!! GET A LIFE

About me:
Henry’s the name.
Henry Johnson.
Cooking’s the game
I rein from Kansas City, Missouri but moved soon after graduating high school to the lovely Paris, Texas. I attended the Southwest Culinary Arts Institute and work a single year as sous-chef and two years as head chef at Chat Lunatique. I recently moved here to Austin and I now am head chef at a very nice, new restaurant called Sanguini’s. They know me there as Bradley Sanguini. One of my bosses is also my good friend Quincie. Over all I hope the job works out and to build a good life here.
Myspace Layout Generator

Who I’d like to meet:
A nice girl who loves cooking and eating. A very rare young lady with good taste and an attitude with a bite.

who cares if that’s not the “real” count brad lee. that myspace page was EPIC – muthfutha had nickleback as his profile song. for real. and he appears to be part of that “vampire” sub-culture, meaning, the Count part of his name is like really important to him. ahahahahaha fucking so funny.

btw – did you know sam matteer lived in a small town then moved to the big city? and buys drugs? and hates the olympics? and has cockroaches?

I’d just like know that if all the people who ‘obsess’ over her blog and hate her are losers what does that mean about the people who obsess over her blog and are sycophants? Also, about his ‘my hits are WAY up’ business, 2 girls 1 cup got more views than you could hope to get in a lifetime. Does that mean those chicks are ‘awesome and legendary’?

The real Bradlee’s got nothing left; is critiquing grammar and vocabulary now. Seems to be able to write up a storm – why not write your own blog, do your own articles? Wouldn’t they suck, don’t you? You really gotta put a condom around your tongue pal.

I suppose at the heart of the matter is that he’s not as good at writing as Raymi is. As the saying goes, some people are born with talent, some with AIDS.

Anyway no you couldn’t beat me up, no one can, I’m built more like a defenceman than a linebacker and I’m closer to a male chauvinist than a feminist, I agree on the point that feminist dudes are idiots but I’m sticking up for her because it’s a good article and you don’t hit a lady unless she asks politely.

As per brains and vocab, work on that; so far you’ve only shat out your mouth. You’re no one whose opinion matters and I’m sure you would drown dogs if only people would pay attention to you.

“You have to appeal to a dealer’s fantasy of what a drug dealer’s girlfriend should embody, and that usually boils down to your attitude and your ass. This guy thinks he’s king of his friends and custies, so he wants a trophy to lord around, he wants his friends to want you but know they will be F’d UP if they touch, totally cliché and totally fucking true, in every drug movie you have ever seen there’s the drug missus and everyone wants to plow her regardless if she is busted-looking or not, the fact that she is the dealer’s woman makes them want her MORE. Practically every friend and customer behind my bf’s back would give me horny eyes and be really into what I was saying and I got the if I fucked him vibe he wouldn’t rat.”

why is your bellybutton the size of the Chunnel?
why are your tits the size of raisins?
why are you so fucking annoying?
why would anyone want to buy your used crap and have you sign it?
why don’t you get a job?
why doesn’t your mum get a job?
why doesn’t your bf find a better gf?

Lauren White is one level above white trash. She’s a fucking cunt (no offense to cunts – i love you guys) . She is so fucking insecure, she lashes out at to most chicks around her (apart from her girl friend of the week, who she just talks shit about behind her back).

She fucks people in the hopes that it will win them over/ get her what she wants

She’s mostly uneducated and inexplicably proud of it?

She’s lame

She’s a whore (like an actual one) although, to be fair, i’m not sure if she has cheated on Phil (current bf) but she has cheated ON EVERY OTHER BF

The worst part is though, is that she is so fucking insecure, she feels the need to shit talk everyone and yet tries to let on that she is some sort of martyr for all those misunderstood.

FUCKING COW. I hate you and if you weren’t dating Phil, I’d fucking tell you off, you dirty warty cunt,.

I live in Toronto and I speak for many other women in this city when I say:

WE HATE YOU LAUREN WHITE aka RAYMI THE PIG.

pig (pg)
n.
1.
a. Any of several mammals of the family Suidae, having short legs, cloven hooves, bristly hair, and a cartilaginous snout used for digging, especially the domesticated hog, Sus scrofa domesticus, when young or of comparatively small size.
b. The edible parts of one of these mammals.
2. Informal A person regarded as being piglike, greedy, or gross

(haha CARTILAGINOUS SNOUT)

We can’t stand you because you’re a HOSEBAG and a SYCOPHANT.

Yes, we DO make fun of you and yes, you ARE an object of ridicule in bars because you’re a phony, a bad drunk, and a wannabe Cory Kennedy without the looks or the connections. You can’t handle your liquor or your coke and you dance like a chimpanzee on crack. You have no class or tact and you’re as annoying as a mosquito.

once more, fuck off. Anyone so annoyed with a simple article should be in anger management, not paid attention to.

Hell I’ve run into some of the most retarded or insane or wrong people on earth and none of them pissed me off so bad as Raymi seems to piss you guys off so the question becomes what’s YOUR problem. Something pissed you off?