Cancer and Spirituality

Finding a New Normal after Cancer

by Rev. George Handzo, MDiv, and Rabbi Andrew Sklarz

One of the facts of surviving a life
threatening illness is that everything is
different. Your body is changed, and
your spiritual and religious outlook is
forever changed. You do not “return to
normal,” as in go back to the way things
were. However,
this “new normal”
does not
have to mean
that everything
is worse than
before. “New”
can sometimes
be better. One
of the secrets is
finding ways to
use the experience of illness to grow and
be a better person than before.

Below is one person’s account of
how this happened in his own life. This
account is not meant to be a blueprint
for everyone – only an example of what
can be. This story is colored by Rabbi
Andrew Sklarz’s religion, profession,
and person. Let your story be colored
by who you are.

Anyone who has ever been diagnosed
with a life threatening illness will attest
that “normal” takes on an entirely new
meaning as we
travel the road
of life with
thoughts and
emotions we
had never
known before.
With
my diagnosis
of leukemia,
a new sense
of normal ensued and a new me began
to emerge.

On the surface, I was not terribly
different. I continued to put forth the
personality, energy, and enthusiasm,
but nothing was ever the same. While
fears prevailed, everything became so
much more precious – not only just my
loved ones; the grass seemed greener
and the sky bluer. A driving need to
pursue my passions like never before
seemed to take hold of me. I began
cycling, even entering marathons.

Anyone who has ever been
diagnosed with a life threatening
illness will attest that
“normal” takes on an entirely
new meaning.

Rev. George Handzo

When I was 15 years old, a fluke accident
rendered my left hand partially
paralyzed. I believed I would never
play piano again, which until then had
been one of my greatest passions. As
a result of my “new normal” nearly 30
years later, I not only returned to playing
the piano, but through vigorous exercise,
I also developed the dexterity to
play guitar. I believe that through the
power of God as expressed by medicine
and prayer I have been blessed with life.

So I decided to bless others by becoming
a peer counselor, comforting the
newly diagnosed and their families, as
well as a writer and speaker on behalf
of various cancer organizations.

Rabbi Andrew Sklarz

While my personal belief in God
has deepened and developed through
my journey with cancer, I would certainly
not dare say that everything
that occurs under the sun is part of the
“Divine Plan.” Accidents and human
frailty do prevail in the world. Yet I
believe that I was brought through this
journey over the last eight years for
a very definite reason and purpose.
Even when I look at darkness in my
life, I am convinced there is meaning
to be found. – Rabbi Sklarz

Our journeys are our own. They are
between us and God. It is up to us to
unravel why we have been brought to certain junctures.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Rabbi Andrew Sklarz is the
spiritual leader of Greenwich Reform Synagogue
in Greenwich, CT. The Reverend
George Handzo is vice president of the
Pastoral Care Leadership and Practice at
HealthCare Chaplaincy in New York, NY.

This article was published in Coping® with Cancer magazine,
March/April
2009.