Not long after we reported on Tara Reid getting free rehab at Promises, a rep for the rehab facility contacted us, took us into a quiet, seaside-adjacent massage room, and began a healing confrontation.

Speaking to us in soothing tones as we submitted to candlelit massages and sipped (nonalcoholic!) "banana daiquiris," the rep insisted that Promises had done nothing wrong. "I recognize your right to use the language you want, and I understand the heart-place it was coming from," he said as our attendant, Luisa, informed us that the afternoon ashtanga yoga session would be starting in ten minutes. "But you need to recognize that your words impacted our shame-feelings, as well as our bottom line."

Or maybe it happened this way: We got a terse email from Jonathan Franks at Arlene Howard PR.

In response to a story printed this morning in Star Magazine, Promises Treatment Centers releases the following statement:

While Promises will not comment on any specific individual, Promises would like to clarify the integrity of our policy:

1) Promises is committed to keeping the identity of clients private to the best of our ability. Promises does not comments on its fees.

2) ALL client belongings are searched, as are ALL incoming packages. Rooms are subject to search at random.

3) ALL clients are treated the same and expected to follow the same set of rules with no exceptions.

Any suggestion that Promises is in any financial trouble whatsoever is patently untrue.

The suggestion that Promises would search Hollywood for a celebrity who needs rehab in an effort to garner publicity is libelous, offensive and without any basis in reality.

You hear that, America? If Tara Reid is currently secluded in Promises Malibu, fielding American Pie pitches while attempting to figure out Cooking Mama on her suite's Nintendo DS, it's because she paid full freight, not because the facility scouted around for someone to impress the Mt. Olympus housewives who've grown bored with the erstwhile Power Ranger in their group encounter sessions. Duly noted!