Well after months of waiting, my daughter finally has a diagnosis. She has PDD/NOS. It is a mild form of autism. I have researched it in the past and although it is not as debilitating as classic autism. It is still not that great of a prognosis. Well I have been really depressed for the last few months since the whole autism thing came up. So at least I was not blindsided by the news. I am not on any meds at this time, or seeing any professionals. I really am in a bad place right now. I can seem to see any good in anything I do. The only thing holding me together is my daughter. Know that if I fall apart everything will tumble. My wife, who has been in denial since this first came up, is devastated. It has been really hard because I don’t feel I can react. I can't express my feelings. I am focused, because I need to take care of my daughter. The hurting inside is almost unbearable. Sorry to go on and on. It has been a long 6 months waiting for the news, and although I prepared in the beginning, I started to think that she was ok, over the last few months. Now my wife wants to quit work (I don’t blame her) but in the situation we are in now, she can't right away. Well it felt good to get it off my chest. I am not sure what to do. I have to force myself to eat/drink. I have been having a hard time being around my daughter, I feel very guilty about that, and I wish I was stronger and could handle myself better.

There is a book, probably called, The Sunshine Boy--that's as good as I can remember. It came out in the 80's and was made into a movie. That's a wonderful success story--and if you look around they abound all over nowadays, because of the improved understanding of autism, the diets, and meds available.

You might try looking for the glutin diet right away. I know of a couple of autistic kids who are doing much better since they went on it. Another diet, which is not for autism, but one I happen to thing would be good to is the Fiengold Diet for Hyperactivity (it's from the early 70's). They have found links between autism, ADD, and plain old hyperactivity--and that diet completely turned hyperactivity around in my son.

With the internet making so much information available, I think you will be surprised and pleased with the many things you can do. Let your wife mourn what she sees as her lost dreams for that little girl and you do it too. Then start making new plans--to find ways to get those dreams back.

Thanks, I hope my answers help make things better for others. I've been through a lot, studied, watched, and worked to get better my whole life. Wanting others to have it easier and better has been part of that and a natural progression from it. I never thought about it before, but it just ocurred to me that my life has primarily been focused on finding good solutions to bad situations--for myself as well as for others.

I worry that my answers might be too hard to accomplish in the present or not the right answers, and that my manner of speech (opinionated and direct) might overwhelm posters who come here for help. That would be bad, since getting to a better place in one's emotional life takes time.

I die in the water when it comes to "cheerleading" and that is as important as, or often, more important than information, so I've been a bit sad that when I post, people don't jump in, letting other's know they have been in similar places too.

As to professional counseling, I've never been interested. I've never heard of a life coach and don't know beyond what it sounds like, what it might be. I appreciate the support and kind thoughts, but really, I wish I'd had a better life and had become some sort of scientist.