"Haly's was one of the oldest in the country," Dick explained. His voice took on a different timbre. Still Dick, still light, but this was important. "They came over from Europe and picked up people from South America and the Caribbean. One of the proper, classical big tops. They had ways of getting past rules and regulations." He waggled his eyebrows, though there was nothing seedy about it. They had permits and they paid one hell of lot for them. But it's more fun with some embellishment.

Dick sighs and looks at the ceiling like he's asking for divine help. "Okay," he says, giving up. "Let's do this: Why don't you want to sleep with me any more? It's literally the only reason why you would put up with me. I know because I am good at sex for a reason, buddy. At first it was all, woah Dick what's with being the cuddlemonkey, we're just fucking and tonight you won't touch me? I know that dance, Jerel," he sighs again. He feels tired. "I hate that dance. I don't want you to pretend and I don't want you to feel like the bad guy. So it's okay."

"Wow," Jerel says, because what else is there to say? Dick honestly had one of the most romanticised upbringings in the world--the gypsy, circus lifestyle, the classic wild kid. "Do you still travel with them? Is this their off-season, or something?"

Jerel's eyebrows go up and up the more Dick talks. "So you're dumping me because one night out of the week I'd prefer to watch Bones than put my bone in you, when every other time we have sex it's like you can't get it over with fast enough? I thought I'd give /you/ a break tonight. I can tell when you're not into it. You think I wanna fuck you when you're not into it?"

"No, I haven't been with them in a while," he says, carding through Jerel's hair gently. "About two years. And before that for even longer. I left when my parents died, when I was a kid. Old Haly went to go meet them four years ago, and left me the circus." He takes a breath and lets it out. "Turns out people didn't like that, though. Anyway, it's not around anymore."

"I'm," Dick pauses, debates with himself, then decides that honesty is the best policy. "I'm dumping you because you can't do it yourself and because you never told me what the hell I did wrong. But you just did, so." He looks away, hurt. He thought he was at least giving Jerel a good time.

Last edited by sinistra_blache on Fri Jun 21, 2013 3:54 pm; edited 1 time in total

Jerel sets the coffee aside on the bedside table, safe as it can get, then crawls up Dick to give him a hug. "Sorry, man. That's a huge loss."

"Yeah, well. You shoulda told me when you got bored of me. I asked--remember, that time? I asked why we hadn't been fucking as much." Jerel's finding it hard to talk, now, his throat's so thick. So they're done. Why does it hurt so much? It's never hurt like this before. But he's never been on the receiving end, so. "You could've told me then that you weren't into it."

Dick huffs a sad laugh and pulls Jerel on top of his lap. "I should really put a disclaimer before that story. It's okay," he assures Jerel. It pretty much is. There's a reason why he's teaching. "I know my origin story is a downer, but you asked and I promise I won't bring you down any more. I have jokes! Hey, how do you make a duck into a soul singer?"

Dick frowns and looks at Jerel, angry for the first time. "You called me out on being couple-y with you. First it was that you didn't like too much snugglebunny stuff. Which, y'know, fine. Not for everyone. And then you said we weren't fucking enough? So we did. I did," he explains, still angry. Even more hurt. "Don't make this all my fault. It's not /all/ my fault. I just wanted to make you happy. I--" And, like that, his anger fades. Dissipates. "I messed up. Swear on whatever you want, gorgeous, I just wanted you to be happy."

"I don't know," Jerel says obediently, as he settles on top of Dick's lap. He likes this position, hsi thighs spread wide over Dick's, cock on show through the trackpants Dick let him borrow. "Tell me how."

"I wasn't--I didn't /call you out/, fuck." Jerel rubs his face, tries to rub away the angry expression on his face. "I wanted to know if you still found me fuckable. And then you kissed me, so I was like, okay, problem solved, you do. As for all the snuggle stuff, shit, I'd never done any of it before. I really seem the type of guy to stay in on Friday nights?" He folds his arms over his chest, protective and defensive. "I can't figure out what you want. When I want to fuck, you want to watch TV together, and when I want to watch TV together, give it a shot, 'cause it's kind of nice and I'm getting used to it, then suddenly you wanna fuck. I mean, shit. I think you need to decide what you want." Then he hunches over again, slightly. "With, you know, whoever you go out with next, I guess."

Dick rubs Jerel's thighs, a hand on each, and smirks up at him. "You put it in the microwave until its bill withers." His face cracks into a huge smile. He's such a fan of terrible jokes. And telling them around normal folk means he won't get a shuriken thrown at his head for his trouble. "Geddit? Until it's Bill Withers?"

Dick is shocked at how slowly he figured this out. Bruce would have killed him for ignoring so many clues. "I," he says, clearing his throat and messing up his hair. It was nearly a sheepish gesture. "I'm guessing you didn't figure out that I'm head over ass for you." He pauses to let that sink in without a screaming match, then goes on. "I didn't want to be me at it all and scare you off. I cuddle and snuggle and climb and, well, people don't want that from a fuck buddy. So I backed off," Dick goes on with the weird, honest ease that he's graced with. He has no hang-ups about admitting he's in love with someone, so long as it comes up in conversation. "And it sucked. But it was okay. And then you asked about the sex and I realised that I was getting all boyfriend-y at you because that's what /I/ want and you never said what /you/ want apart from sex, so..." He shrugs. "I'll always find you fuckable. I love you. I thought you were pretending with the comfy tv shows with munchies and sweatpants and stuff. Cos I'm a dramatic soul," he gives a weak flourish with his wrist, unable to help himself to a bit of theatrics even if he is explaining to both of them why he's messed this one up. He sobers back to his original sad-with-flickers-of-hurt face. "I'm sorry. I just thought you knew."

Jerel is kind of using the door to prop himself up right now. He's never, not once, not since /Mitz/, heard anyone use those three words on him. "You love me?" he says, weakly. "I've never--shit, I told you, when we started out, I hadn't done relationships since high school. I dunno what goes /into/ an adult relationship. I don't know what it looks like, bein' in love."

Dick inclines his head. "Yeah. You said you didn't do relationships and you talked a lot about sex," he says. "That's fine. But you can kind of see where I was coming from, right? Like, that screams Dick Please Don't Make Me Have A Relationship, right? And this is what I look like in love, I don't know about anyone else." He half smiles.

Jerel's always been pretty tempted to nibble on those lips, he's sure as hell not gonna stop now that they're coming towards him. "What a question. 'Course I want another." But before Dick can talk, Jerel pushes in and catches his lip between his teeth, drags it out, then kisses him.

"So you were getting 'please don't make me have a relationship' vibes from me, and you still went for the whole snuggling and trackpants and fucking /dates/ and, and stringing me along for /months/ thing?" Jerel doesn't know how to process this. "Are you telling me, you heard, 'Please Don't Make Me Have A Relationship', and instead you dialled it up to eleven and dived right into 'Please Make Me Fall In Love With You'?"

"Mm," Dick moans softly against the kiss, and keeps his eyes closed a second longer than he needs to. "Mmnh. Okay. ..oh! I got one: What's the last this that goes through a fly's head when it hits a car window?"

Dick screws up his face, apologetic. "Actually I was dialling it down to maybe a two," he says, baring his teeth in embarrassment. He's made out of cotton candy on the inside. He's never been able to help that, no matter how hard he's tried. And Jerel sounds so /mad/.

"For /months/," Jerel repeats, a whole lot softer. He's trying to get his temper under control, but he's so scared right now it's really difficult. He doesn't know what his heart is doing, it's thumping all out of his chest. "I've never been with anyone this long. And now you're just--telling me you love me, and walking out."

Dick pulls at his hair a little. Jerel's so hard to read, it's embarrassing. He's only been reading people since he was a kid - in one way in the circus and in all kinds of ways with Batman. "Are you mad at me because I love you or because I tried to break up with you?" Tried being the right word, he thinks, because he wants to take it back and stay. He just isn't sure if that's on the cards for him.

I have to gooooooo and be an adult. If I have time to do another sweep before I leave, I shall, but if I can't then <333

That makes Jerel snort, really unattractively, right into Dick's face.

Jerel scowls. "Both. And--fuck. I'm mad at you because I don't know what you want. And you make me not know what I want. And I'm mad at you because I think I'd fucking give up sex for you if you asked me to, and I'm mad at you because this isn't fair, this isn't how I should figure out I might be in love with someone--with /you/--and I'm mad at you because you thought it'd be for my own /good/ to /leave/ me? Instead of trying to work things out like a fucking adult and use your goddamn words, shit. I'm mad at you because you haven't even tried to fix this. You're just knocking and running. So I'm mad at you, yeah. For lots of reasons."

Dick thinks it's super attractive. He puts his hand to the back of Jerel's neck and pulls him down into another kiss, this one long and warm and soft.

Dick looks up sharply and steps forward without meaning to. "You love me back?" He, slowly, starts to smile. "Really? Of course I'm sorry for making you mad and you have every right, especially when you explain it like that and, let me tell you, I have reasons but they're not excuses but - you love me?"

That sends a shudder right up Jerel's back, and he hums into Dick's mouth, closes his teeth on Dick's lip to reward him.

Jerel scowls a little. "Look, when I said I've never, I mean, I've never been okay with chilling out in track pants and just watching TV with someone I'm fucking. And I'm okay with it, with you. I--I like it. I want it. Tonight, I wanted it. To just--hold onto you and throw chips at the TV when they say stupid shit and make out during the ad breaks."

Dick smiles as much as he can with that bite. He could get used to that being a thing. He then has to remind him that it's not a thing, this is an ill-advised fling with his student. Don't get comfy, Grayson. Get mind-blowing. He scoots up a little, sitting straight and dropping both hands to Jerel's waist to help him come with Dick. The movement should get them both a little more comfortable, and it definitely helps little dick get more interested.

"And I messed that up," Dick nods, finishing the thought. "I didn't want to. I thought you were mad at me - which you are now. Okay." He runs his hand through his hair, exhaling. "Do you want me to stay or hit the road? Not for good, obviously. I think - I think we might have to talk this out. Maybe with cocoa. Or pie or something. But on your terms. I'm pushy, when it comes to this stuff. I don't wanna be. I don't want to push anything."

Jerel's hoping that little Dick isn't all that little, and he's only too happy to sit up straight and wriggle in closer. This is curing his hangover like nothing else ever could. He rubs his tongue against Dick's, tasting coffee and sugar.

"Yeah, well, in case you haven't noticed, I'm pretty damn pushy too." Jerel steps back from the door. "I don't want you to go. If you go I'm just gonna sit here and stew all night. I don't want to do that."

Dick hums and returns the favour, then pulls back with a few short kisses. "I got breakfast," he tells Jerel, since he never got the chance. "It'll go cold. Do you care? I don't care."

"I like your brand of pushy," Dick smiles, cocking his head. He sobers quickly, though. "I'll stay for a while. I might need to clear my head, later, alone. Get some really good self-hate time in, y'know? But if you want me to stay, I really can't say no to that."

Jerel happily grinds his ass back into Dick's hands, and makes the kiss playful--makes Dick work for it, coaxes Dick's tongue into his mouth, leans back so Dick has to lean in, and buries his fingers in Dick's hair, to pull, gently, as he teases at Dick's mouth with his own.

Jerel ducks under the kitchen counter to get out a couple of mugs. "You can go if you want."

Dick laughs and growls at the same time - then uses his grip on Jerel's ass to lift him and drop him back onto the bed. He loves teasing kisses, but he loves getting his way as well.

"I'm not going anywhere just yet," Dick sighs. He really hates being the bad guy, but he can't deny that he definitely is. He closed the door behind him when he came back inside, and he sits on one of the stools by the counter.

Jerel is pretty rarely on the bottom, but when he is, it's always quite the experience. He spreads his legs wide, his cock straining in his boxers, and yanks Dick down on top of him, grinning wickedly.

Jerel's pretty miserable that this looks like it's going down the toilet. "Tea or coffee?"

Dick is pretty taken with that grin already. It's the same grin that appears when Jerel gets to challenge someone in Dick's class - especially if it's Dick himself who's getting challenged. He laughs, soft and honestly happy for a moment, and begins kissing down Jerel's neck. He reaches to push down his boxers at the same time.

"Coffee," Dick says, and watches Jerel move around the kitchen. He wouldn't mind getting to see Jerel move around the kitchen like this everyday - only happier, obviously. "Look. I'm sorry, for what it's worth. Usually it's bad news when I fall for someone. I fall hard and fast. Faster than people really want. I didn't want to complicate you, that's all."

Jerel actually sighs a little bit, the soft kisses warming his whole body. He squirms around and helps Dick take his boxers off, drag them down, and his cock bobs up happily once it's freed. Then he busily starts work on Dick's shirt and pants.

Jerel digs out everything he needs, and leans against the counter as the water boils. "I knew this wasn't gonna be a one night stand, that morning after you stayed with me. The morning after we made out for the first time."

Jerel will probably manage to yank Dick's shirt off as he goes down, and get his pants open. But he'll forget /all/ about that as Dick's mouth moves down. "Oh, fuck," he breathes out, as Dick nuzzles into his pubes. His cock is probably nudging Dick on the chin.

"I didn't want it to be, though. I'd chased you for ages." Jerel rubs a hand through his hair. "I wanted to enjoy you."

Dick hums haughtily, if that's possible, and closes his mouth around the head of Jerel's cock. He doesn't do much more than swirl his tongue around it, wet and slow, but he likes to think it makes it count.

"Shut up," Dick snorts unhappily. He's not sure what's sadder: that he's so bad at this or that he's supposed to be the best of all his friends and family at this. "So... Do you still - enjoy me?"

Jerel shouts, "Fuck!" He just barely manages not to jerk his hips up off the bed, but he does thrust up a bit, correcting for his head, thrown back into the bed. "Fucking /evil/."

The kettle boils and Jerel quietly makes Dick his coffee. He makes himself tea. He doesn't need to be any more worked up than he is. Instead of just passing the coffee over to Dick, though, he's going to walk around the bench with it, press it into Dick's hand, and press his face into Dick's neck.

Dick chuckles as much as he's able to, looking up at Jerel and honest-to-fuck /twinkling/ at him, then starts stroking him slowly in time with the swirls. Kind of teasing and kind of not. Taking his time, at least.

Dick puts the coffee on the counter straight away and puts both arms around Jerel. "I've been told to stop so often," he whispers and Jerel might be able to hear the self-deprecating smirk on his face. "I'm just really shitty at believing someone I want is telling me to /go/ - and that's all my fault. Not anywhere near yours. So. I'm gonna get better. I'm /such/ a fast learner."

Fuck, but Jerel could get used to this. Too many fast and furious encounters have probably given him a real kink for the slow ones, and Dick is just /torturing/ him right now. He's going to be moaning with every exhale, toes curling--and after a little while, he's going to bring his legs up and bracket Dick's body.

"I know you are." Jerel manages to chuckle. "You just gotta believe me when I say I want to figure this out. How to do this. Be with you. Be around you." Be in love with you.

Dick hums, encouraging. He's loving how vocal and /there/ Jerel is. He hates the hold-on-and-buck types. There's a time for letting one's mouth be a fuck-hole and there's a time for reciprocation. Jerel, so far, seems to get that.

That feeling comes back and Dick's nearly sure it's hurt feelings. He ignores it again, though, because he knows what Jerel means. And he doesn't mean to hurt him at all. "You'll get used to me and all my clingy ways," Dick says. "Besides which, I'm totally cool with being told it's too much. Sick of the Grayson backpack hug? Just tell me to step off. I'll go at your pace."

Dick's taking it so slow and fucking sweet that Jerel can't help but act in kind. Once he gets a hand in Dick's hair, it won't be for yanking, but instead for compulsive sweeping, fingers going back and forth in the same rhythm as Dick's mouth and tongue on his cock. And he's gonna try and peel his eyes open again, but he makes no promises there.

"My pace is just doing what we've been doing," Jerel says. "Maybe with more of our clothes at each others' places, or whatever. Holidays. That's something people do together, yeah? And--and I guess it's time to get some terminology. Some language for what's going on between us."

Dick means to keep up the slow pace and even rhythm until Jerel is begging. He could bring him off like that and it would take a while and be amazing, but he wants to know that Jerel wants that, at least.

"My brothers want to meet you," Dick admits. Though, to be fair, Jason wants to judge Jerel and Tim wants to interrogate him and Damian wants to threaten him. All in the name of curiosity and odd loyalty, but still. "I've been avoiding the subject, considering how much of a blind asshole I was being. And - I suppose you don't like boyfriends? There's partners. And lovers. And...that's all I got, actually. But I'm pretty sure there are more."

Oh, it's not going to take long. Jerel's mouth is dry from panting, and he's nearly sobbing with each moan. 'Please' is not far off--please, let me come, please, more, please, /please/.

"I have a brother, too. I want you to meet him." Jerel takes a breath, his arms slipping around Dick's waist. "Lovers works. But--I kind of want to work towards boyfriends. Whatever you think boyfriends means."

Dick eases off with a few licks and trails kisses back up the way he came, then hovers over Jerel with red lips and a pleased-with-himself smirk.

"Boyfriends," Dick sounds it out. "Okay. Boyfriends, to me, means hot nights and mornings, sharing showers and forks, getting embarrassed over family, getting into fights and making up, sharing covers, warming feet, waiting for you at the end of the day, sharing favorite foods... Being there. Whenever you need me." He's wistful, and a little raw from all that. But the performer in him kept his voice steady and confident.

Dick kisses him back happily, if stiffly. Two types of Jerel's taste on his tongue makes him moan just a little more than he would have. "Hey," Dick pulls back. "Do you want me to keep going? Or do something else?"

"You're amazing at all that," Dick says, tightening his arms around Jerel. "That's why I was - okay, I was freaking out. It was stupid and domestic, all that crap, but I loved it and I just felt really bad. Like I was tricking you into it, I guess. But I wasn't, is what you're saying? Don't yell at me again, I'm just asking real quick."

awwww man I am sorry but I have got to do something about his face pain and I think sleep will give me some amount of an out. HOWEVER knowing me I will be back in like half an hour, so you have that to look forward to I guess XD GOODNIGHT THE NOC <333