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The trouble with being the worst skater you know.

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And I speak these words with the bitter experience of having just fallen from 5th to 6th best in the Kingpin office since Dom started:

Its No Fun Being The Mong; trust me.

When you go out skating you tend to hang back because you don’t want the humiliation of everyone else witnessing your Failed First Ollie ™ when you’re all doing that Bones Brigade train down the street. Calls of encouragement when trying to pluck up the courage to do the Acid Drop Of Doom ™ off a low wall eventually turn into ‘Just frigging do it- I’m freezing.’ and threats to get up there and push you off, while you clench your bum cheeks together and pray for Allah to let your leaden feet go through the motions without depositing you in Casualty, again.

You find yourself lying about what you made last night on your own just because you thought you might be able to when you were waiting for hometime, and even when you do something good, its not really good- its just good for you.
Its just awful, really. My advice is try to get better, and try to select new members on the basis of them being even further down the evolutionary scale than you.
Suckiness is relative.

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