So I'll try this BOC thing again

Jan 24, 2013 3:36 PM

As some of you may remember, I held a BOC contest a few months ago. I picked two winners, neither of which ever got back to me. I saw @thumperchick is holding a BOC contest, so I decided it was time to try again!

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Whatever you do, please don't make us ask for a bag of crap and then specify whether we want #1 or #2 crap. I'm not sure anybody is actually going to come out a winner with that choice. Maybe A or B crap would be a better expression?

Mom and Dad Potato sit down with their three daughter potatoes. "Kids," they say, "you're old enough now to go out and find yourselves husbands. We want you to be happy with them, but we also want you to be sure and choose a husband the whole family can be proud of." With that, they send their children forth to find mates.

A few months later the first daughter returns. "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my fiance, Peter Potato. Peter's from Idaho."

"Idaho! Wonderful! Welcome to the family, Peter."

A few months after that the second daughter comes home. "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my fiance, Paul Potato. Paul is from Maine."

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer
replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business
when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to
the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." "
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't have fit."

I pilfered this from a Gauley River rafting guide years ago -
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel between his legs, the bartender looks at him and says "You have a steering wheel in your crotch!" The pirate replied "Aarrrrgg! And it's drivin' me nuts!!"

@theoneill555: I wish I could say that it wasn't at least partially true. The most unbelievable part to me was that an engineer could interact with a naked woman without without stuttering and drooling (sadly, self included :)

@sellbuyer92: This is how I heard it:
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
It was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure.

This is probably my favorite joke:

Heaven and Hell

Heaven Is Where:

The French are the chefs
The Italians are the lovers
The British are the police
The Germans are the mechanics
And the Swiss make everything run on time

Hell is Where:

The British are the chefs
The Swiss are the lovers
The French are the mechanics
The Italians make everything run on time
And the Germans are the police

@ki4rxm: If 1 and 2 causes immature people to comment as 1 is the potty and 2 is the poopy where do you thing we will the 2 comes from from an A. One could also say it comes from the B.
Something funny....

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Not a farewell, just a forced redirect.

It's true, Local.Woot is no longer, but please don't despair.

Never-ending savings are still to be found on Deals.Woot each and every day, so come on in. Don't think of it as a time for tears. Think of it as a way to bring us all closer together under one roof.

Sorry

This is only for people who have bought woots

We restrict voting to users who have purchased something from one of the other Woot stores. It's not just because we want your money (which we do) - it's the best way to be sure all the votes are coming from real people and not spam-bots or phony accounts. The best way we can think of, anyway. For now.

You can always get voting rights by buying something from one of Woot's other sites:

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Geez, why so negative?

You have to vote up more before you can vote down.

Don't get us wrong. Negativity has its place. And downvotes are just as essential as upvotes when it comes to making Deals.Woot a useful place to find deals.

But when your votes lean so heavily toward the dark side, we have to wonder. Go vote up a few things. Accentuate the positive for a little while. It'll do you some good, and it'll do the site some good, too. Then you can get back to dealing out the smackdowns, OK?

Too late, we all heard you!

Hmm... you're wanting to take your vote back?

Well, that's a bit tricky. See, we do a lot of stuff with your vote, using it to work out the popularity of what you voted for, compare that to all the other things voted on, tally up our leaderboard, work out your reputation. Someday we'll do a little cartoon showing just how hard your vote is working.

Anyway, taking votes back messes all that up, so we give you five minutes, in case you just mis-clicked. After that we've got to say no take-backs. Luckily, votes are free, so feel free to throw them around left and right wherever you see fit.