7.There
is no cantina, meaning that we have to do all the cooking and cleaning. This
means oatmeal and peanut butter on rice cakes for two solid weeks if I’m
cooking.

8.They
promise I won’t have to cook or clean. Based entirely on the fact that I’m not
a complete idiot, I do not believe them. I’m an incomplete idiot, which is
neither here nor there.

9.I
don’t want to pack.

10.If I stay here, I could write all
night, sleep till noon, and call people on the other side of the world in the
middle of the night.

11.My book comes out in August, and
I’ve only crossed one thing off the ‘promote your book’ list. Two if you count
this post as telling the blogging world I have a book coming out August 15th.

12.All jogging paths in the bush double
as bear trails.

13.Staying here could mean take-out for dinner every night, at least until I use up the entire grocery
budget.

14.My not-so-smart phone doesn’t
work there. Contrary to what we see in the movies, the entire planet does not
have cell service. In fact the parking lot outside Verizon Wireless right here doesn’t
even have cell service.

15.Zeus, our friendly neighborhood
giant would house-sit for us. This means any intruders will be ground to make
his bread, which is a total legal hassle. It also leaves a mess of epic
proportions. Last year when he house-sat three villagers went missing, and a
herd of cattle, or something.

Reasons to Go

1.Two
weeks off, yeah baby! I mean does anything EVER get any better than that? What
difference does it make where I’m going?

2.Two
weeks of just writing. Last year I wrote an entire first draft of a novel in
those two weeks. I also actually bruised my sitting area from…sitting for two
weeks. Seriously, it was a chair shaped bruise. My doctor laughed so hard she
had to sit down and wipe her eyes.

3.My
engineer husband will rig a generator to my laptop. That means there is a
really good chance I’ll get a new laptop, and I can write with a pencil and
paper just as well in the meantime.

4.They
promise I won’t have to cook or clean. Yes, I realize they’re lying, but I will
definitely have to cook and clean here.

5.There
is no cell service there. (I know this is on both lists. It’s bittersweet.)

6.Spending
two weeks with people who live in the bush = story fodder for decades. I mean did I mention the bear slapping? Really, one time they drove their boat (there are
no cars, only boats) past a swimming bear, and slapped him on the rump. What if
I’m not there when that bear finds them? Let’s name that spanked bear Fifty, and you
know you want to see his revenge on YouTube. I'd film it for you.

7.Could
read as much as I want to! Though I would have to charge the kindle with the
generator too…this item might be in the wrong column.

8.Crocodile
Dundee wants me to go. He picked up fresh mosquito netting just for me. What says I love you like fresh mosquito netting?

We all know I’m not a math person, and there are twice as
many reasons not to go, but I never let math have the last word. What do you think? Would
you go? Do you ever make lists like this? What do you have to talk yourself
into doing?

12 comments:

Personally, I like fishing. And I like camping. I do not like piddling behind a tree. That's a deal breaker for me. So if there's something resembling indoor plumbing I'm cool. If there isn't - forget it.

I was raised by bears, so I'd definitely go if I were you. Besides, what meal sounds better than rice cakes with peanut butter for 14 days? Rice cakes with peanut butter for 21 days, that's what sounds better. Take some Capri Suns.

Oh and I ALWAYS have to talk myself into spending time with the sibling-in-laws. Actually the more difficult part is over-riding the voice that says "What are you thinking, for the love of God stay home! Do we have to replay the last visit for you?" It's a struggle, but I usually do my duty. Usually. Sometimes I get lucky and develop a sudden intestinal disturbance.

Mel - You are definitely on the Stay list. Do not have Georgia on my mind. You know I'm a Siberian Winter, iceberg lovin', glacier hiking kinda girl. You can come hide here even when I'm gone. Just wear your giant repellent and sleep with one eye open. Zeus is house-sitting.

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