Real excerpts from the Queen Mother's Book of Remembrance

(SMALL NOTE: Some people may be offended by this. Particularly if you are the Queen Mother, or a member of the Royal Family (that's Royal, not Royle). If you are, I humbly apologise and promise never to laugh again. If you are not offended by this, congratulate yourself on being a real person, free of the PC bullshit that lurks around every corner in this sometimes droll world. Also, I call on you to use your Santa Claus Muscle below: Just because it may not be true, don't let it spoil the fun.)

I usually delete forwarded 'humour' emails like this, but this is some of the funniest stuff I have read in a long time. And if it is really true, then there is hope for Britain after all. In case you didn't know, every church, government building, hen house, out house and dog house in the UK has had a 'Book of Remembrance', in which the public can leave notes of condolence and remembrance for the Queen Mother, who died on March 30, 2002. These are some of the more, um, unusual entries.

"I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our very own Twin Trade Towers. At last we can look the people of New York in the face".

L.Ward, Mansfield.

"When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I did.
Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot image that I will ever smile for the
rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".

"She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was
visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to the cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to the
Nazis and I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a fighter, who
refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself later though, it was
sickening".

"No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a smile. Just like a retard"

G. Hollins, East Sussex.

"I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so
kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'You know its
not true' she said, 'you don't smell of shit'. She was a wondrous person".