Lifeboatmen have been drafted in to help police hold back animal rights protesters in the tourist hot spot of Padstow. The hubbub, something not seen before in the harbour town, kicked off when celebrity chef and sea foody, Rick Stein, started placing photographs of customers that had ordered squid in the squid tank and allowed the animals to choose which customer or customers would get to eat them.
A spokesmen for the protesters said "This is an absolute disgrace, cephalapods are remarkably intelligent and have the largest brain size to body size ratio of any animal."
When this argument was put to Mr Stein, he said "If they are so fucking clever why do they choose to be eaten? These vegetarian so called animal lovers really do get on my tits."