In my early days I drank martinis, which, according to articles then had the highest ethanol level, the least garbage (just an olive) and a bit of acidity from the vermouth which combined to make the most potent drink. I also read that carbonation made a drink hit faster by causing the stomach to empty quicker, i.e., scotch and soda would hit faster than scotch and water. So, being a scientist, I made up a martini using the 4:1 ratio of gin to vermouth, measured the volume, added ice and stirred. Then remeasured to see how much water had entered the mix. I then mixed a quart of martini using the proper ratios of gin, vermouth and distilled water. I put it in a seltzer bottle, used the CO2 cartridge to carbonate it then put it in the freezer. Since I couldn’t be the tester and the subject we invited two chemists and their wives to dinner, explaining the project. One was a large guy who had been a weight lifter in college, and the other was a lush that could drink anyone under the table. They did very well until after dinner when one went into the living room and fell asleep on the couch and the other fell asleep at his diningroom chair.

As the lush said when I saw him at work the following Monday, “My suggestion is that you burn the recipe for those damned Oral Hand Grenades.”

Occam

That’s hilarious. I like a good gin martini ...occasionally!

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Church; where sheep congregate to worship a zombie on a stick that turns into a cracker on Sundays…

I haven’t had a martini in years, but Asanta’s right. I should try one to see if it tastes as I recall.

Another alcohol experience I had when I was 30 - 35. I was hit head-on when another driver crossed over. I was in bed for a week, during which time my dentist and his wife dropped by. He gave me a bottle of Scotch called Laphroig. When I was finally up, I tried it and found I could duplicate the flavor by mixing the fireplace ashes with tinture of iodine. It was horrible. I then saw it was easily the most expensive scotch on a liquor store shelf. It sat in my closet for five years.

A group from an associated company in England visited us, I took them out to dinner and we went back to my place to continue our discussion. I offered them a drink and one asked, “Do you Americans drink scotch?”

“Certainly, would you like Chivas Regal?” They all said they would. Then, as an afterthought, I said, “I also have Laphroig.” Then went wild switching to that and were delighted. Little did they know that I was also delighted to get rid of the damned stuff.

He gave me a bottle of Scotch called Laphroig. When I was finally up, I tried it and found I could duplicate the flavor by mixing the fireplace ashes with tinture of iodine. It was horrible. I then saw it was easily the most expensive scotch on a liquor store shelf.

Man, you need to find a better liquor store if the most expensive Scotch they have is Laphroaig. Also Laphroaig is famous for being one of the most strongly flavored whiskies. I’m not a huge fan of Islay Scotches in general (of which Laphroaig is one). May I suggest you give some other Scotches a try? I think you’d enjoy a Highland, Lowland, or Speyside more.

Scotch is my ethanol of choice. I actually like Laphroig, but my wife won’t let me drink it. Says I smell like an ashtray afterwards.

Happily enough, my wife likes it too, so I do not have that problem. Especially if we both smoke a cigar along with it. Talisker is my second choice, with the advantage that it is a little cheaper. And what about Lagavullin? That is my favourite, but only on special days.

Smoky and peaty, that does it for me.

That’s also the reason that of all kinds of tea I like Lapsang Souchong most…