and discovered something about myself that surprised me completely. It was a workshop on how anger, guilt, and shame affect our view of God. Now keep in mind that I am, of course, stunningly well adjusted. I was taking this workshop as research; you know, in case I needed to counsel someone who was struggling with these issues. I am, as I mentioned, stunningly well adjusted.

Or so I thought. The presenter asked if any of us considered ourselves angry. No one admitted to it, but I thought I detected a little testiness with a couple of the attendees. Then the presenter dropped a bomb. "How many of you are frustrated?" Ewwww - I am the poster child for frustration.

Evidently frustration is low-level anger. It turns out that I am actually seething with anger, simmering just under the surface of my cheerful demeanor. I am like a coiled spring ready to snap, a trap ready to spring, a volcano ready, well, you get the idea. We were instructed to explore our beliefs to discover the root cause of our frustration. Naturally the root of my frustration is that other people won't do what I want them to do exactly the way I want them to do it when I want them to. Without asking me anything - they just need to do it.

I realize this is unreasonable. But nevertheless, it's what I want.

We were encouraged to be self-reflective and introspective. Yuck. I hate that. I usually uncover things about myself that do not support the theory that I am stunningly well adjusted. I have learned, however, that this kind of soul searching is necessary for spiritual growth. I'm frustrated about that.

I've noticed something on those endless inspirational quotes posted on Facebook that I've found extremely annoying. Have you noticed that 99% of those quotes are illustrated with an impossibly beautiful young woman? Usually with swirling, thick hair and often dressed as a Native American? Or as an angel who, with the proper costume, could be on the cover of the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated?

You men don't fare any better. If you're not a handsome warrior or a Gandhi look-alike, you're not going to find yourself illustrating those quotes, either.

It's been my experience that the wisdom offered up in those quotes comes from someone who has actually walked through some life experiences. Those experiences show up in laugh lines, crow's feet, and gray hair. They show up as double chins and spreading hips. They show up as depth in the eyes and compassion in the voice.

I don't object to pretty - I love pretty! Just once I wish illustrators would realize that wisdom often looks more like the Willendorf goddess than a supermodel.

No one is following my blog. Not even me, evidently. I assumed a blog would be an easy thing to write. After all, I have so many thoughts rattling around in the nooks and crannies of my brain that I figured it would be simple to turn those thoughts into blog-sized nuggets of wisdom and folksy insight. Not so much.

I have a whole new-found respect for folks who keep up with their blogs. They inspire me. My intent is to post more in 2014 than I did in 2013. Since I only posted four times last year, it's really not much of a challenge (or so you'd think!). Stay tuned . . .

Anyone who knows me knows I have lots of theories. Most of them are not based in reality, but reality is not particularly important to me (truth, yes; reality, not so much). On this spring day, there is still snow on the ground here in Indiana. My theory regarding winter in Indiana is this: No matter when the spring equinox occurs, it will not be spring in Indiana until after the high school boys' basketball finals. This year the finals were scheduled after the first day of spring. I believe that if the NCAA would tweak the schedule for tournament play, we won't have snow on Palm Sunday anymore. Also, they should do away with class basketball. That's my theory.

Our local morning news is on for something like four hours and it's obvious they are getting desperate for things to talk about. This morning, one of the lead stories was - get this, are you sitting down? - bacon and sausage are bad for us!! Oh, no!! Who knew?!? And - prepare yourself! - hot dogs and bologna are not healthy foods!! In fact, we shouldn't eat processed meats of any kind! What a stunning development!!

You'd think that there would be one person, one person, involved in a news broadcast who might say, "This is supposed to be news. Maybe we should tell people something they don't know."

Listen, I like inspirational quotes as much as the next person - unless the next person is one of my friends on Facebook who finds it necessary to post four or five (or ten or fifty) inspirational quotes a day! Inspirational quotes should be rationed like Girl Scout cookies (uh-oh, that one doesn't work! I eat a box of Samoas all at once! In my defense, there are only 15 in a box!). Anyway, I think there should be a rule that you can only post one or two inspirational quotes in a 24 hour period; three, if one of them is really funny. Like Shakespeare penned, "Brevity is the soul of wit." Or, if you prefer, Dorothy Parker wrote, "Brevity is the soul of lingerie."

My latest pet peeve is ghost hunting shows in which the ghost hunters are surprised when ghosts show up. Sometimes they scream like little girls at a Barbie convention. They ask for the ghosts; they yell at the ghosts; then practically fall down when something happens. I think they should get a new hobby.