Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

Comments

Why do fellas feel the need to put earrings in their ears? There is just something wrong with that picture. A male should look like a male in my opinion. Leave it to California to have a hamster association. Sounds like they have a lot of time.

I have this image of a team of buff-looking guys and gals wearing CALIFORNIA HAMSTER ASSOCIATION black T-shirts over their body armor, kicking in people's doors and screaming, "DON"T drop that hamster, buddy! Set it down gently!"

Is there any way to get mice to be so sensitive that they die after any little change in the environment?
Do we have to make them wear earrings?
Would piping Bieber music, whatever that is, into their burrows do it?

Speaking of rodents, I've been reading a couple of books about colonial wars and insurrections. Lots of "last-stand" events, with small numbers of European troops, surrounded by much larger but less-well-equipped bands of natives, etc, etc.

So I glance up from the chapter about the French being massacreed by the Druze fighters in Lebanon, back in the Twenties, and there on our lawn are ten squirrels, chowing down on the subsidies birdseed that we provide as a form of Danegeld humanitarian gesture, and suddenly I feel some sympathy with the Foreign Legion, if you know what I mean.

When I was in 1st grade, I got "Irving" my pet hamster. He made it a week before I got sick, he caught it from me, and he ended up in Hamster Heaven. Irvings II-IV quickly followed, all winding up in small boxes buried beneath the rosebushes. But Irving the V? He was SuperHamster. He finally went paws-up my junior year of high school. Beat that, Beiber!