Kelly has turned three minor schools into football powers (relatively speaking, of course) and like any good coach, he has apparently done it with a mixture of fear, intimidation and humiliation. So he's perfect. The only comment worth making at this point is to direct you to this glowing tribute to Kelly from the Elkhart Truth that gives Irish players a little tease of what's in store.

The players were never confused about who was in charge at Grand Valley, Staley said. During the '03 season, Staley was interviewed by the campus newspaper — about "something really minor," he said — and Kelly spoke to him about it afterward.

"He knew about it and he was there," Staley said, "and I don't know if he was listening or what, but I remember after the conversation I was walking back to the locker room and he passed me and he grabs me by the shirt and kind of pulls me up to him so we were eye to eye, and he said, 'Staley, I want you to remember one thing.' He goes, 'You have four touchdowns. You could have 10 if I wanted you to.' And then he walked away.

"I was like, 'What the heck?' He wanted to make sure that every player knew he was in control. That's really what it comes down to. And everybody knew that and everybody had respect for him and he was a phenomenal coach." [Emphasis added]

Of course, it's a fine line between one man's phenomenal, respected coach and another man's unemployed rageaholic. Good luck with those realistic South Bend expectations, though!