I think it’s interesting — no, not interesting, what’s the word? — goofy — that while the better-than-expected but not-great remake of George Romero’s DAWN OF THE DEAD was directed by someone called Zack Snyder, the similarly above-expectations but below-sensational remake of George Romero’s THE CRAZIES is directed by someone called Breck Eisner.

(The heavily Romero-inflected ZOMBIELAND was helmed by Ruben Fleischer, which sounds a bit too much like an actual name but almost fits the pattern.)

Presumably, for the inevitable remakes of MONKEY SHINES, MARTIN, CREEPSHOW and THE DARK HALF, young directors-to-be are currently changing their names to Jerk Steiner, Rock Visser, Prick Meister and Stork Ulcer. And for the re-remakes of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD et al, we will need reinforcements with names like Conk Ryder, Muck Pfister, Glock Pisser…

Meanwhile, George A Romero, without whom none of this mini-industry could exist, is still George A Romero. But maybe that’s a mistake? For his forthcoming SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD, isn’t there evidence aplenty that audiences would prefer to see a film by someone called Frisk Weezer or Spank Wicker? More market research is called for.