Ten signs

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1 You spend the day trying to calculate if you could make a go of self-sufficiency on a smallholding in Auvergne.

2 Slipping under the desk in anticipation of adopting the foetal position you find that it is hellishly crowded down there and you have to try the stock cupboard instead.

3 Your boss is nicknamed “the Swede” because of his charisma, leadership and strategic prowess.

4 Donald Trump calls to say that he has heard amazing things about the people you have impaled on your stilettos while clambering over them to the position of middle-ranking executive bitch and he wants you