Why do we even bother with our stupid old "democratically-elected government," anyway? Let's replace it with Apple, Inc., which not only has a better design aesthetic but right now has more money than the U.S. Government:

As Republicans and Democrats continue to work towards a compromise to the country's debt ceiling crisis, the U.S. Treasury Department said on Thursday that Washington now has a total operating balance of only US$73.768-billion.

Meanwhile, Apple currently boasts a cash reserve of US$75.876-billion, as of its most recent quarterly earnings report at the end of June.

This will change, obviously, if—if—the debt ceiling gets raised. But even if it does, what has Washington ever done for you? Certainly not made you a sweet phone for Angry Birds.