Thursday, April 14, 2011

Kobe's Beef

I'll keep this brief. After Kobe's little incident, he's been fined $100k. That's a lot for some words.

Look, I'm one who likes to, you know, make sure everyone's happy. It's not good to offend people. But, also...people get upset, people say things, it happens. I'm not condoning what Kobe said, but what I want to do is draw the ass backward-ness of our culture into view. Below are the lyrics to a popular song I think we all remember. We listened to it a lot, hell, they played it at SCHOOL DANCES. Granted it was "edited" but the meaning was not removed. Here it is.

[Chorus]3,6,9 standing real fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time
Get low, Get low 6x
To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drip down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)
To all skit skit motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)
To all skit skit motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)

Shortie crunk so fresh so clean can she fuck that
Question been harassing me in the mind this bitch is fine
I done came to the club about 50th 11 times now can I play with yo
Paine line club owner said I need to calm down security guard go to sweating
Me now nigga drunk then a motherfucker threaten me now

She getting crunk in the club I mine she work
Then I like to see the female twerking taking the clothes off BUCKEY naked
ATL. Hoe donâ€™t disrespect it
Pa pop yo pussy like this cause yin yang twins in this bitch
Lil Jon and the East side boys wit me and we all like to see Ass and tities
Now bring yo ass over here hoe and let me see you get low if you want this Thug
Now take it to the floor (to the floor) and if yo ass wanta act you can keep yo ass where you at

3,6,9 standing real fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time
Get low, Get low [6x]
To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drip down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)
To all skit skit motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)
To all skit skit motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)

Let me see you get low you scared you, scared you
Drop dat ass to the floor you scared you, scared you
Let me see you get low you scared you, scared you
Drop dat ass to the floor you scared you, scared you
Drop dat ass ya shake it fast ya
Pop dat ass to the left and the right ya
Drop dat ass ya shake it fast ya
Pop dat ass to the left and the right ya
Now back,back,back it up
a back,back,back it up
a back,back,back it up
a back,back,back it up
Now stop ( O) then wiggle wit ya
Now stop ( O) then wiggle wit ya
Now stop ( O) then wiggle wit ya
Now stop ( O) then wiggle wit ya

3,6,9 standing real fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time
Get low, Get low [6x]
To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drip down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)
To all skit skit motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)
To all skit skit motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)

Now give me my doe back and go get ya friend
Stupid bitch standing there while Iâ€™m drinking my hen
Steady looking at me Still asking questions
Times up nigga pass me another contestant
Hoe move to the left if you ainâ€™t bout 50th
Done talk through 3 or 4 songs already
looking at a nigga with yo palm all out bitch I ainâ€™t even seen you dance
Twerk something baby work something baby
Pop yo pussy on the pole do yo thang baby
Slide down dat bitch
wit yo little bit then stop
Get back on the floor catch yo balance then drop
Now bring it back up clap yo ass like hands
I just wanna see yo ass drity dance yin yang we done again
And put it on the map like annnnn

3,6,9 standing real fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time
Get low, Get low [6x]
To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drip down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)
To all skit skit motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)
To all skit skit motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)

Got dam (Got dam) ya yaâ€™ll twreking alittle bit ladies
But ya got to twrek alittle bit harder then dat
now right now I need all the ladies dat know they look good tonite
(where my sexy ladies) we want yaâ€™ll to do this shit like this
Bend over to the front touch toes back dat ass up and down and get low (get low)
Bend over to the front touch toes back dat ass up and down and get low (get low)
Bend over to the front touch toes back dat ass up and down and get low (get low)
Bend over to the front touch toes back dat ass up and down and get low (get low)

3,6,9 standing real fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time
Get low, Get low [6x]
To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drip down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)
To all skit skit motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)
To all skit skit motherfucker (motherfucker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)

Or perhaps this, "I remember" by Eminem

Your mother, you fuckin faggot

La da da, da da da, da da (repeated)

Aiyo, this next song is dedicated to the memory of Erik Schrody
Rest in peace, we aint forget about you, you fuckin homo
We still remember

There once was a man who liked to jump around (jump around)
But he got too old to jump up and down (up and down)
(so then what happened?)
So he put the mic down and picked the guitar up (picked the guitar up)
(and then he what?)
Started singin the blues like there's no tomorrow (no tomorrow)
(come on) Left his boys in the house of pain (the house of pain)
It was the wisest decision he ever made (ever made)
But the dumbest thing he could ever do (could ever do)
Was try to buck a 380 on those that act shady
Tell me now what you gonna do (now what you gonna do)

[chorus]
Cause I remember all those years
How it was when you were here
I remember how it was, how it was when you were young
Yesterday was so long ago (long ago)
Kid Rock and Limp Bizkit came along now
Don't nobody wanna hear your old ass sing no more

remember back when you had The Knack (had the knack)
And i remember when you had your first heart attack (heart attack)
I was right there laughin when I heard the news (heard the news)
I just wish the cardiac would'a murdered you (would'a murdered you)
Maybe Ice-T's right, you are a bitch (you are a bitch)
You come around when you're broke and you leave when you're rich (leave when you're rich)
But the dumbest thing that you could ever do (you could ever do)
Was try to buck a 380 on those that act shady
Tell me now what you gonna do (now what you gonna do)

[chorus]

yo (yo) yo (yo) yo (yo)
Remember back in '94, like right before Ms. Everlast was Whitey Ford
Before his heart attack had him on life support When house of pain was out of
fame like someone doused the flame And they became destined to never jump
around again
Or even further back, when i first had heard The Knack
And you were down with Syndicate, I went to get your shit, man
I was into it
But then you went and took your style and switched the shit
Now you sound ridiculous you dickless piece of shit,
How could you diss me, bitch?
I liked you, thought you was alright for a white dude,
Remember Sway and Tech when I came up and sat beside you
Started rhymin, then you left the room
and didn't say goodbye or nothin?
Like you mad that someone else was
White and tried to rhyme or somethin
I'm sorry man, I wasn't tryin to steal your light or nothin
But you're a homosexual, white rappin Irish {*Muslim*}
Man I wish I was irish, I could be a {*Muslim*} too
Then I'd be confused as you, and I wouldn't know what to do
What's up with you?
I never fucked with you, why would you fuck with me?
Knowin I could rap circles around you, what, you nuts as me?
Plus I can sing better than you and I don't fuckin sing
And probably play guitar better, and I ain't never touched a string
But I ain't mad at you, I'd hate me too if I was you
I'm what you used to be, shit you was me in '92
So everytime I write a lyric, I'mma think of you
And maybe that'll help me know what it's like to sing the blues

[chorus]x2

You fuckin punk, pussy, you fuckin faggot, sissy, fuck
And by the way, a 380's a fuckin sissy gun
If you're gonna shoot somebody use a fuckin real gun
You little bitch
Next time say my fuckin name in a song
Don't be subliminal about it
You wanna fuckin diss me, diss me you fuckin faggot
You fuckin punk, pussy, you fuckin little bitch, fuckin cunt

Now, though a lot of people took issue with these songs I'm sure, parents and what have you, I don't recall the group who made the song being fined, or Eminem. In fact, if my sources tell me correctly, they actually MADE money on it. Look at that. They sold CD's and made money! Crazy!

But isn't it also horrendously offensive to women, to African American's who find embracing this type of speech offensive, to Gay people, to a lot of other people?

If you're going to preach respect and say, "Stop using these words!" Then that means you can't do it either. That also means if we're going to fine someone one hundred thousand dollars for words, we should be damn well prepared to take that standard to its end. You know that guy you called a name behind his back, that girl you shouted horrendous obsenities to? Are you going to pay them?

You know, we all make mistakes, and that includes the messiah's of sports and entertainment. That also includes you. Would you believe that? We're, you know...kinda the same.

Again, not condoning Kobe's slur, but the guy was pissed and called someone a name. You know those times when you say, "I'm going to kill you!" but don't mean it. Or swear at people, or flip them off in traffic? What's that saying? Are you seriously going to murder that person? I just think it's funny that in any other form of using any of these terms, especially entertainment, it's somehow, as if magically, considered OK.

I'm sure there are a lot of people up in arms over it, that's fine. But call me crazy, how many of them do you think listen to songs like this and not think twice about it?