All posts tagged ‘Redshirt’

For the past couple weeks, science fiction publisher Tor.com has been hosting “Journey to Planet JoCo,” a series of daily interviews between author/Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America president John Scalzi and singer/songwriter geek music icon Jonathan Coulton.

If you’ve missed it, the entire series is archived in audio and transcribed on the Tor site, and it’s fun to read and listen to these guys talk music and science fiction and inspiration and performing and writing and all sorts of good nerdstuff.

But today’s a particularly big day for the series, not just because it’s the finale, but because it marks the debut of a brand-new Jonathan Coulton song, which just happens to tie in with next week’s release of John Scalzi’s latest book. (Shameless, aren’t they? Shameless pair of super-talented damn promotional geniuses.)

You’ve heard of the old debate about what happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object? Well, since that question is unanswerable, starting as it does from a logically impossible premise, I won’t be tackling it. I will, however, try my hand at a similar, but considerably more geeky question: Who would win a fight between a Star Wars stormtrooper and a Star Trek redshirt?

Now, you may (rightly) point out that this isn’t really a Great Geek Debate, but I would point out that, darn it, it should be one. It ties neatly into the Star Wars vs. Star Trek debate and into the classic thought problem mentioned above, and, besides, it’s fun! It’s also probably the most valid comparison between the two universes, since none of the major characters in either have clear parallels in the other.

So, on one side of this battle we have a stormtrooper. All stormtroopers are dressed in white armor even in environments (everywhere but Hoth-like places, really) where this makes them stick out like a sore thumb. This armor has significant downsides for its wearer: It weighs him down, makes him too loud to be able to sneak up on anyone, and makes it hard for him to see (Luke even comments on this when dressed as one). These disadvantages might be acceptable if the armor were at least mildly effective, but a single shot from any blaster — the most common weapon they are likely to encounter — goes right through it. And of course, as everyone knows, stormtroopers are such terrible shots that the safest place to be is wherever they’re aiming. I laugh every time I watch the original Star Wars and get to Obi-Wan’s line “Only Imperial stormtroopers are so precise.”