Yes, he got to present a ridiculous quasi-superstitious daytime quiz show where contestants are financially rewarded by actively denying the concept of coincidence. Look, it’s a job.

Anyway, how worried should I be about electrosmog? Really worried. Oh, sure, 10 years ago the World Health Organisation denied that electromagnetic fields had any negative effect on humans, stating: “There is no scientific basis to link ES [electrosensitive] symptoms to EMF exposure.” But then it would say that, wouldn’t it?

Would it? Of course it would. This is a huge conspiracy. A huge global conspiracy, and all the corporations are in on it. They want to enslave us all with magnets. Edmonds is right. He’s like our Jesus.

Which makes Mr Blobby? I dunno, Moses or something.

Do say: “Let’s stop the scourge of electrosmog by banning Wi-Fi.”

Don’t say: “Let’s also stop it by unplugging our TVs whenever we see Noel Edmonds.”