Monday, April 11, 2011

Methinks Thou Dost Protest Too Much !

Every American citizen has the right to protest peacefully, however, a protester's rights end when the protester crosses that certain line which intrudes upon and violates another person's rights. Recent protests showed the participants literally taking over a government building causing it to become dangerously overcrowded and making it impossible to function for any other person who was not a part of the cause.

Although the police was on scene, they did not stop the illegal takeover, fueling the fire of the protesters. In a sane world, the police would have stopped anyone from entering the building after the legal capacity was reached. Furthermore, any protester violating laws inside the building would be removed from the premises.

Watching some of the different protests on television, I find that the majority of the screamers and trouble makers are usually illiterate assholes. The intelligent ones are the protesters who quietly stand their ground and at least have the mental wherewithal to correctly spell the message on their various signs and banners. Call me dubious, but I have a real problem sympathizing with protesters who cannot even spell.

The right to protest has certain legal requirements which are designed to protect protesters and the general public upon which they intrude, as well. I believe that the authorities should stand up to any group of protesters who, in their zeal to make their point, violate the rights of others.

The News As I See It:Last Friday, a lot of people were wondering what a government shutdown would be like. Today, I think a lot more people are still wondering what a government running properly would be like.

House Speaker John Boehner says the government shouldn’t get paid if there’s a shutdown. Shouldn’t we be getting a refund for every day they close it down?

New York lawmakers are deciding if corn should be the official state vegetable. Oh yeah, because when people visit New York, their first thought is, "I really gotta try this corn."

A new study found that families with two daughters are the happiest. Unless, of course, their dad currently has a 42 percent approval rating.

Toyota says they’re going to start integrating Microsoft technology into their vehicles. It’s perfect for the person who wants a car that crashes every 10 minutes.

It was reported today that the government is looking to hire an administrator for its Facebook page. The starting salary is $115,000 a year. With ideas like that, it's no wonder why the government is going to hell in a hand basket.

After months of budget negotiations and some tough compromises on both sides, I’m happy to announce that a deal has finally been reached. That’s right, the entire cast of "Jersey Shore" has signed on for season four.

This Date In History:1814: Napoleon was exiled to the island of Elba.1899; The treaty ending the Spanish-American War took effect. 1921; Iowa imposed the first state cigarette tax. 1945; Allies liberated Buchenwald concentration camp. 1951; President Harry Truman fired General Douglas McArthur.

1968; President Lyndon B. Johnson signed the 1968 Civil Rights Act. 1979; Ugandan dictator Idi Amin was overthrown. 1981; President Ronald Reagan returned to the White House after he was shot in an assassination attempt. 2007; Science-fiction writer Kurt Vonnegut died in New York City at age 84.

Picture Of The Day:

It seems like every time the television media covers any protest, be it left or right, they always zero in on some idiot that, by his or her speech, actions and/or dress, gives you the impression that they have been disowned by family or society. Rarely do you see the peaceful protester, standing in the hot sun, sign or placard in hand and quietly exercising his or her right to protest.

It is a media ruse that is used to increase ratings and add drama to an otherwise unpleasant experience. I liken it to the reporter in the field covering a flood. Rather than shoot the report from high ground, the reporter usually searches for a place where he can roll up his pants and wade into knee deep water for the effect. That idiocy notwithstanding, I'm always amused at the birdbrains they always seem to find for the news cameras.

Printable Things I Never Told You: 1) Suppose you were an asshole and suppose you were a member of Congress....Oops! Sorry, redundant. 2) Humor is to life what shock absorbers are to an automobile. 3) You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. 4) A tree never hits an automobile... except in self-defense. 5) Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.....and that's five!

Today's Birthday Horoscope:

Aries - April 11th: Most of the things you're doing are going well, so there's no need to give up now. Dance like a madman, win the respect of colleagues and foes. When walking down the street, trying not to step on the cracks in the stone, you must take care to avoid all steaming piles.A hairy back may trouble you this week, especially if it's not your hairy back that's in question. You might find you start aching below the knee, today. Don't be embarrassed by your actions today, embrace your flamboyant side. Fun times lie ahead but be wary of those who offer you fun via emails. You may find that some messages you see today will be misleading and potentially cost you a lot of money.

You are a shopping bag and life is one big supermarket. Now you're fully engrossed in that analogy, I want you to think of me as the store announcer: "Clean up in aisle 12". That's as exciting as it gets. Placing your mouth around the exhaust of a car stuck in traffic is bound to cause more traffic problems. Long walks, cold showers and playing with the puppies. All these will soon be a distant memory this week after an accident after which you will be confined to a comfy chair. Don't worry, she will not be pressing charges.

The AREA51 Retirement Home Bar And Grill: Ole was hunting geese up in the slough. He leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. As luck would have it, the foolish dog knocks the gun over, it goes off and Ole took most of an ounce of fours in the groin. Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he comes to and his doctor, Sven says "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot." Ole asks, Ole"What's the bad news?"

Dr. Sven says, "The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister, Lena ." Ole says, "Well, I guess that isn't too bad. Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" Dr. Sven says, "Not exactly. She's a flute player in the Minnesota Symphony Orchestra. She's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."

A man is shipwrecked on a deserted island for ten long years. One day he sees a ship on the horizon and starts waving his arms until the ship heads for the shore. The captain of the ship and the man began talking. "I thought I'd never get rescued." The captain asked, "How long have you been here?" The man replies, "Ten years."

The captain asked, "How have you coped with all that time alone?" The man replies, "Well I'm a very resourceful fellow. I built a house, learned to hunt and fish." The captain says, "But ten years without sex?" The man replied, "Not exactly. About six months ago I was down here on the shore when I noticed an ostrich with it's head in the sand. I crept up behind it and..."

The captain lamented, "Oh you poor man, that must have been horrible." The man replied, "Well it was fine for the first five miles until we got out of step."

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:My thanks to my pal Garnett for his contribution to today's stories.

An old man and his wife were talking and his wife told him he should do something useful with his time. She suggested that he go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. The old man did this and when he got home, he told her that he had joined a parachute club.

His wife said, "Are you nuts? You're almost 70 years old and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"The old man proudly showed her that he even got a membership card. His wife said, "You idiot, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!" The old man replied, "Well, I'm in trouble again. I signed up for five jumps a week!

The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a "mail order" bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, "She'll be twenty-one in November."

Now the banker, being the wise man that he was,could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man. Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again and asked, "How's the new wife?" Tom proudly said, "Good, she's pregnant." The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, "And how's the hired hand?" Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant too."

That's it for today my little whipper snappers. Remember, always look out for number one and be careful not to step in number two! More on Wednesday.

My Brother Kirt, Dog Beanie And Myself

Band Practice back in the day

About AREA 51

AREA 51 began as a location in a local watering hole where my friends and I would always sit. Soon thereafter, people began stopping by and asking me why the area was always full and so popular. I would tell them that we were the descendants of the UFO crash at Roswell, New Mexico and that we always sat together. My friends then had an AREA 51 sign made and placed it over the barstool where I always sat. Since that day years ago, there was always anAREA 51.

It has since been transformed to described my current watering hole. Since joining AOL Journals in December of 2006, I began adding honorary members to theAREA 51 menagerie.AREA 51 is a state of mind and not always a location. The majority of the members have escaped from a home and are constantly looking over their shoulders. They are intelligent, fun loving and enjoy life to its fullest.