LIFE

ADULTS

SITE

Pornography

It's only natural - isn't it?

"Pornography is to the mind what drugs and alcohol are to
the body. It causes a person to be out of control
emotionally. In that condition, all decisions are bad and
some young people can be marred for life."
(17)

"A Christian who dabbles in pornography is like a soldier
marching blindfolded through a mine field. Sooner or
later poor judgment and careless experimentation will
explode in his face" (36)

Summary

Pornography can trigger a powerful sexual response in
all males

Teenage boys are easily enticed by pornography.

All research data suggests the long term effects of
pornography are not good.

Definitions

Pornography

material that is sexually graphic (movies, videos,
books etc.) used to become sexually aroused.

Aroused

inciting, provoking or stirring up a sexual response.

Violate

infringe, defile, encroach, take what is not yours

Other more common names

Smut, dirty pictures, pornos

The Concerns

All the boys at school use pornography regularly.

Guys are called "gay" if they don't have porn on
their cellphone.

I'm afraid of being called "gay" if I don't join in
with the others.

Friends have been called "frigid" for not indulging
in pornography.

I need to use pornography to test if I'm "gay" or
"straight".

Boys use pornography to test whether a friend is
"gay" or "straight".

Masturbation is better using pornography.

A man told me 'a normal boy at my age should be into
womens' underwear catalogs and Playboy magazines'.

Everywhere you look we are bombarded by sexual images
(sex sells!).

The Facts

If you are turned on by pornography, then it shows
that everything is in place and working fine! The "glue"
that will bond you to your future wife is in place and
waiting for the time when you marry and enjoy a
fulfilling sexual relationship.

The Bible recognizes this connection:

"....may her (your wife's) breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love." Proverbs
5:19

The Bible also says clearly to not get involved in lust
toward others!

The middle ground then is to use the built-in erotic
attraction to women to produce an intimate and satisfying
relationship with one woman in marriage. To plunder this
natural desire on images of other people can only lead to
problems in the future.

Males are easily aroused by what they see. That is why
sexual images are so enticing to teenage and adult males.
If you accidentally see pornography, it is usually not a
problem. The problem comes when you deliberately seek
pornography in order to excite yourself sexually.

What's so wrong with pornography?

Many people try to
justify pornography as "free expression".

Many use pornography for masturbation.

The short term pleasure obtained from pornography doesn't
stop the long term and silent detrimental effects. (The
same as a smoker obtaining short term pleasure from
cigarettes is contributing to a long term health problem
that will eventually extract a high price)

Pornography will:

Take you further into it than you intended to go.

Cost you more than you intended (personally and
financially)

Addict you very quickly and silently which you might
not appreciate until you try to quit.

Dr Dobson (Focus on the Family) says that pornography is
enticing, progressive and destructive. Over time the
pornography needs to be more graphic and more perverse to
get the same initial "high" that came when the guy first
started using this material.

The person eventually needs to "cross over" into complete
sexual perversion to continue getting these sexual
"highs". This can involve violating others to gratify
himself in his sexual perversion!

At this point the person is trapped:

He can't go back because the addiction to pornography
is so strong.

He needs to violate others to gratify his sexual
cravings.

MTV

MTV and
similar music video shows are often contain soft porn
designed to attract teenage boys. The girls might have
some clothes on, but the images are designed to sexually
arouse you - that makes it pornography! The industry
itself calls many of their offerings pornography - hence
the MA15+ rating in many countries!

The reason they do this? Simply to make money from you!
They know there is a strong mental connection between
something that arouses you sexually and the source of
what turned you on - in this case association with a
particular song and video clip.

With MTV and all pornography, you are being used and
manipulated by multinational companies that make billions
of dollars each year from exploiting this desire! They
are manipulating your strongest desire (sexual desire
designed to glue you to another person in marriage) and
turning it into money! Because it feels so good, they
don't even have to work hard at it!

The other problem for you is that you get your sexual
turn-on from images that are not real people to you. Real
people can never live up to those images and so you are
painting yourself into a corner that will be hard to get
out of when you want a real relationship. It is up to you
to realize what is happening and go against the flow and
quit. Keep the big picture for your life in mind.

Comments from others

Problems readers mentioned include becoming desensitized
to milder cues to sexual arousal, having unrealistic
expectations of physical characteristics for oneself or
others, and having increasing difficulty achieving
orgasm.

...hardcore porn is dangerous when it
sets up women as no more than a man's playthings, devoted
to his pleasure. That's not the way the world works, and
this view could *severely* hamper your relationships....
age 16, New Jersey (3)

I have found that too much dependence on pornography
lessens my ability to enjoy real-world erotic
stimulation, like thinking about my girlfriend. age
22, Canada (3)

[Pornography] left me with a burning desire to have
"impossible" women whom I could never be with. I also
remember looking at pictures of men whom I thought were
more attractive than I was, as I masturbated to the
thought of actually being them instead of myself. This
left me with an overwhelming desire to look like other
guys, an inferiority complex, depression, and homosexual
feelings. age 24, Pennsylvania (3)

I've been looking at porn on the Internet, and it's made
me think about sex in a very unhealthy way. What I have
noticed is a need to escalate the "dirtiness" of the
pictures to get the same level of arousal as before, like
needing to use more drugs to get the same high. age
28, California (3)

...one of my friends uses it all the time
-- at least every 2 days. He is starting to get bored
with the idea of sex and girls. He says porn has
desensitized him to the fun of sexual thoughts and
acts.age 19, Rhode Island (3)

For a long time I used hardcore videos and pictures for
stimulation. I began to have problems becoming aroused
.... I had to stay away from porn for over a year to
return to normal sexual stimulation. Pornography can
become like a drug -- you need it to feel OK.age 24, Germany (3)

Magazines and videos can create a perception of sex
focusing far too much on the physical rather than the
emotional and romantic. And they create a perception of
normal sexuality that is not in fact normal.age 24, Texas (3)

From a wife

My husband and I got married when we were 19. Young and
in love. We had issues on our wedding night!!! Now I know
why!

When we had only been married for 2 months, and had only
made love twice, I questioned what was wrong. I was so
confused. That's when he admitted to having magazines! I
couldn't believe it. Now, I'll be honest, we had slept
together before we got married. It was wrong. I know, but
we did it anyway. So you can imagine my shock when he
admitted to the magazines.

So, I am living proof. At 19 years old, after who knows
how many years of this stuff, he couldn't handle a real
life woman on his wedding night. How sad! Please, from
the wife's point of view, consider what you are doing.
While it seems harmless now, it will really hurt your
wife later. (56) Jill

Further Information

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