BIOPIC DU JOUR: Commission First Vice President Frans Timmermans is the star of a new film about him by Dirk Jan Roeleven. It’s called ‘The European’ and is premiering in Amsterdam November 19. PIC: http://politi.co/2ezIbZE

HEADLINE DU JOUR: “UKIP candidate sorry for claiming gay donkey raped his horse.” What a magical time we live in. http://politi.co/2f0Y4Ih

**A message from the EPP Group: Almost a year has passed since the Paris attacks. The most important lesson learned is that European security services and policing authorities must cooperate with each other much more. We call for the implementation of already-adopted EU anti-terror laws to be stepped up and ongoing negotiations on new measures accelerated.**

WELCOME TO STRASBOURG’S TIJUANA: “Strasbourg sells itself as a symbol of European unity, but when night falls on the EU Parliament’s sessions many German lawmakers show more allegiance to a cheap night’s sleep and a home-cooked meal,” reports Tara Palmeri. “They direct their chauffeur-driven cars and taxis across the Rhine to Kehl, passing seedy bars, drab architecture and roadside sex workers on their way to no-nonsense bed-and-breakfast accommodation.” http://politi.co/2eBqGnf

EUROPE’S TRADE GENIE IS OUT OF THE BOTTLE: Who knows if Thursday’s EU-Canada summit will happen. We do know that “last-minute agonizing over an EU-Canada trade pact … raises the wider question of whether Europe’s common trade policy — one of the historic achievements of decades of integration — is on the rocks.” Paul Taylor: http://politi.co/2dEB3ow

WALLONIA SENDS EU TRADE POLICY BACK TO DRAWING BOARD: “Some German politicians in the European Parliament are proposing a way for Brussels to reassert its authority [in trade policy]. They argue that the Commission needs to roll out a new kind of two-track trade agreement that denies national and regional assemblies such as Wallonia the ability to veto the key elements of trade accords that fall under the remit of EU-wide law, such as tariffs and shared regulations.” Hans von der Burchard, Simon Marks and Alberto Mucci: http://politi.co/2e4w5CP

Reading between the Walloon lines: Playbook’s Belgian source points out that blocking CETA is a perfect political play for Wallonia’s Parti Socialiste (PS). It annoys every Belgian political party they don’t like, in particular francophone liberals and Flemish nationalists, and it lets everyone know what the party can do to its competitors when they leave the PS out of the federal Belgian government (as happened when Elio Di Rupo, the PS leader and Paul Magnette’s political godfather, was dumped as Belgian prime minister in 2014).

PS has been stewing for a while. It and its close friends run health insurance companies, unions, public enterprises and, at least for now, Wallonia — it is used to power and doesn’t take kindly to losing it.

Who is the real hostage-taker? There’s strong evidence Wallonia is grand-standing in the name of problems that only it can see. And yet there’s also a pattern at work here: EU diplomats and other trading powers propose ever bigger and more complex trade deals (which go far beyond reducing obvious trade barriers) while offering only unsubtle ways of engagement.

Multiple trade diplomats have told Playbook it’s just not possible to separate these deals into smaller chunks and chapters that could be more easily digested (or discarded) as democracy sees fits. Playbook has not heard a good reason why it’s not possible. And it increasingly looks like no deals will be made until the diplomats take the hint. If we end up more all-or-nothing deals in future, you will be forgiven for thinking that’s just another form of hostage-taking.

TAX AVOIDANCE PROPOSALS TO BE PUBLISHED TODAY: First proposed in 2011 and eventually shot down by governments for being too ambitious, the Commission is taking another shot to “eliminate the mismatches and loopholes between national tax systems, which companies can currently exploit.”

Given the U.K., one of the main opponents to the 2011 proposal, is heading for the exit door and public opinion has shifted significantly in recent years, this latest attempt may have a better shot at being implemented.

2017 COMMISSION WORK PROGRAM LAUNCHES TODAY: Don’t expect anything headline grabbing. Playbook hears there won’t be much in the way of new legislation, just more emphasis on what’s already on the table. First Vice President Frans Timmermans wants the Council and Parliament to sign up to a declaration committing the institutions to getting things done faster, which presumably means more opaque “trilogue” deals agreed by a few MEPs, a Council presidency ambassador and a senior Commission official.

ECODESIGN — BIG ON BIG THINGS, SMALL ON HAIR DRYERS: Commissioners are set to discuss the ecodesign and energy labeling directives this morning to decide if more products should be brought into energy-saving efforts. These directives are sensitive: having already earned the ire of British tabloids. According to a Commission document seen by Playbook, Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker is very keen the EU does not put red-tape on hair dryers, toasters and hot drink vending machines. He wants to avoid a repeat of the unrelated glyphosate debacle, which quickly exploded from a technical to a political drama earlier in 2016. POLITICO: http://politi.co/2dEuOGn | The Economist: http://econ.st/2eDysxH

COMMISSION — IRANIAN REALPOLITIK: Humanitarian Aid and Crisis Management Commissioner Christos Stylianides finished his visit to Tehran Monday, declaring “the EU and Iran are equally concerned with the humanitarian situation in the region.” Many would contest this point, however, not least Dutch Liberal MEP Marietje Schaake, who condemned the Iranian government’s human rights abuses during a plenary debate in Strasbourg. Even Richard Howitt, a U.K. Labour MEP who drafted a resolution calling for closer relations with Iran, acknowledged that “both Iran and Saudi Arabia [are] sponsoring armed groups and causing death and bloodshed” in the region.

PARLIAMENT — BUDGET NEGOTIATOR SAYS BREXIT EFFECT NEEDS TO BE DEALT WITH: With the pound crashing, the U.K.’s contribution to the EU budget is now billions less than expected, and the bloc must prepare for a Britain-less budget altogether. http://bit.ly/2f167oC

PARLIAMENT — FURTHER MORTEN MESSERSCHMIDT INVESTIGATION: A Parliament spokeswoman told Danmarks Radio that officials were “quite incensed that it looks like [they] may have been misinformed on several occasions – maybe even misled or deceived.” Harry Cooper: http://politi.co/2f1zJlK

**Jyrki Katainen, European Commission vice-president for Jobs, Growth, Investment and Competitiveness, headlines POLITICO’s Morning Exchange Live event. Presented by Deutsche Börse, it will take place on November 8 in Brussels. To find out more, visit: http://politi.co/2e53nUT**

BUDGETS — BACK TO THE FUTURE: Paul Taylor reports: “A veteran Danish economist who served on the late 1980s Delors Committee that helped design the European Monetary Union has been handed the task of trying to restore confidence in the eurozone’s much-abused budget rules and design a common fiscal policy stance for the currency area. Niels Thygesen, 81, emeritus professor of economics at the University of Copenhagen and a former Danish government economic adviser, was chosen from more than a dozen applicants to chair the new European Fiscal Board.” For POLITICO Financial Services Pros: http://politi.co/2dDpq6f

BANKING OPINION — EU BANKS NOT AS SAFE AS THEY CLAIM: A view from the U.S.: “Given the parlous state of Europe’s economy, it’s hard to imagine that the investments of the region’s banks are among the safest in the world. Yet that is precisely what they would have regulators and investors believe … Banks have an incentive to make their assets look as safe as possible. Europe’s banks have exceled in this minimizing endeavor. The International Monetary Fund estimates that banks in the euro area are sitting on more than $1 trillion in bad loans.” Mark Whitehouse: http://bloom.bg/2f0YWg8

BEST BREXIT COCKTAIL SUGGESTIONS: Bloody May was the people’s choice (four nominations) and there were so many, Playbook has to stretch it over two days. Other top suggestions:

CHANGES AT PLAYBOOK — A STRONGER TEAM: In addition to Zoya Sheftalovich in the editing seat, Harry Cooper and Quentin Ariès are officially joining the Playbook team, supporting both this morning newsletter and the weekly print column “Playbook Plus,” POLITICO Europe’s Executive Editor Matt Kaminski announced Monday. Expect more coordinated coverage of both the public and private institutions of Brussels as a result. Cooper and Ariès will lead the “Brussels Influence” newsletter while supporting Playbook.

FRANCE — SARKOZY PLAYS THE TRUMP CARD: “With his campaign to return to the French presidency losing steam, Nicolas Sarkozy is readying supporters for defeat by blaming a mysterious outside force: left-wing voters planning to destabilize the Conservative primary election. In several recent stump speeches, the former president warned that hordes of left-wingers were planning to infiltrate the primary process in order to ‘steal’ its result from bona fide conservative voters.” Sound familiar? http://politi.co/2dR5vPI

LITHUANIA — AFTER SURPRISE AGRARIAN WIN, WHO WILL LEAD? The Peasants and Greens (LVZS), having won 54 seats in the 141-member parliament, will now lead negotiations to form a majority government of more than 71 MPs. So who could lead Lithuania? Teneo Intelligence wrote to clients about the agrarian front-runners: “For now — instead of the party leader, the agribusiness magnate Ramūnas Karbauskis — tentative candidates include the party’s only MEP Bronis Ropė and a former Interior Minister Saulius Skvernelis.”

There is radical policy reform on the agenda, according to Teneo. “LVZS proposals for state involvement in alcohol, tobacco, pharmaceuticals and banking sectors are likely to be key points of contention in coalition talks … [the party is likely to] bring a more critical tone towards Brussels, as the party supports strengthening the role of national governments within the bloc … LVZS’s radical reformist agenda and little experience in running the matters of the state represents a risk to government stability.”

ITALY — KARAOKE CONTEST DU JOUR: The mayors of Florence and Naples had a Karaoke contest and made their cases for and against the December 4 constitutional reform referendum. http://bit.ly/2f0VDFT h/t Steph Kirchgaessner

ITALY — RENZI SLAMS COMMISSION TECHNOCRATS: “I certainly will not let some European technocrat tell me that I cannot restructure schools because you cannot call stability into question,” Renzi told reporters when asked about the EU’s next round of budget monitoring. http://reut.rs/2f1p8Hu

UK — SCOTLAND HAS GAYEST PARLIAMENT IN THE WORLD: Three of five party leaders, four ministers, the secretary of state for Scotland in Britain’s Conservative government, and the one elected representative of the right-wing U.K. Independence Party in Scotland are gay. Once known as a bastion of social conservatism, Scotland has changed dramatically in a generation. http://nyti.ms/2f12SNV

UK — STURGEON SAYS BREXIT MEETING A BUST: “I don’t know any more now about the U.K. government’s approach to the EU negotiations than I did before I went in to the meeting,” said Nicola Sturgeon, the first minister of Scotland, upon leaving a joint Brexit meeting for the U.K.’s country leaders, the Guardian reports. “At the moment, it doesn’t seem to me like there is a U.K. negotiating strategy, which is one of the sources of great frustration … But what I’m not prepared to do as first minister is simply stand back and watch Scotland be driven off a hard-Brexit cliff edge.” http://bit.ly/2dRd8FH

MALTA — AIR CRASH LATEST: Five French men died when their small plane crashed after take-off in Malta Monday morning. The Maltese government said the flight was part of a “French Customs surveillance operation … with the aim of tracing routes of illicit trafficking of all sorts, including human and drug trafficking.” Bertrand Borg: http://bit.ly/2eEKJ55

FOCUS ON MOLDOVA — FIRST DIRECT PRESIDENTIAL VOTE SINCE 1990s: “For the past 20 years, Moldova’s presidents have been selected by lawmakers rather than the electorate, a process that has consistently led to deadlock … But in the wake of widespread protests against [pro-western Prime Minister Pavel] Filip’s feeble reign near the beginning of the year, Moldovan leaders agreed to revise the constitution to allow for direct elections … The approaching vote [on October 30] will come at a crucial time for Moldova, as the tides of popular opinion shift toward the pro-Russia camp … Should Moldova begin to move back toward Russia, stalled negotiations over the disputed region [of Transdniestria] could reopen. Likewise, a swing further toward the West could worsen friction between Chisinau and Moscow.” Eugene Chausovsky, Stratfor: http://bit.ly/2f1FsI3

WOMEN IN POLITICS EVENT: The European Women’s Lobby, the Reflective Democracy Campaign and the German Marshall Fund are hosting ExCHANGE, a three-day conference about how to get more women in political leadership in the EU and U.S. In Brussels, November 30-December 2: http://bit.ly/2eM9qLo

WOMEN OF EUROPE AWARD IN THE MAKING: The European Movement International and the European Women’s Lobby will be giving out an annual award to honor women striving to advance the European project in their professional or private capacity. They are seeking sponsors for the award and the December 1 Brussels ceremony. More info: http://bit.ly/2eiwoM1

APPOINTED:Sven Jansen and Sophie Noya join the Europe/Canada public policy team at Merck, Sharpe and Dohme, Brussels.

BIRTHDAYS: Bas Belder MEP; The European Movement International turns 68 today. Vincent Chauvet, founder of the first European Citizens Initiative.

**A message from the EPP Group: At tomorrow’s vote on the draft EU Budget for 2017 we will stand by EU priorities, contrary to the EU Council, which is constantly putting forward political statements of support for these priorities but rarely follows through with concrete actions and adequate financing. Words of support do not provide the financial resources the EU desperately needs to deal with all the serious emergencies it currently faces. This is why we will restore everything the EU Council proposes to cut and we will not accept anything else. Programmes such as Erasmus, COSME, Horizon 2020 and the Youth Employment Initiative generate growth and jobs in the EU and need to be adequately funded.**