Tag Archives: youth

I was originally going to post this review weeks ago, back when Avatar was new and newsworthy and my opinion of it perhaps slightly more germane to any readers of this blog (if any of you are still hanging around). Since then, I’ve changed more diapers than I have gotten hours of sleep, started adjusting to using a CPAP machine at night and have generally just not been in a position to write much here. One thing I have learned, though, in my growing up lately is that commitment counts, and I made a commitment to myself to start this blog and to keep up with it. Sometimes following through is more important than creating something timely and brilliant. Inertia is both close friend and dear enemy to efforts like a blog. The more I write, the easier it gets to keep writing. Where I get bogged down is trying to produce a masterpiece every time my fingers touch the keys. As I learned while cooking dinner tonight…What I was in the middle of saying before I was rudely cut off by my blog host was that some times you just have to put some food on a plate that is tasty and nourishing and leave the fancy garnish for another night. Now that I have to recollect my thoughts on this entry yet again this is even more true.

Watching Avatar felt very much like being the main character in The Princess and the Pea. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t get comfortable. At first I thought it was the 3D glasses or sitting too close to an IMAX screen. Then I thought it was because the plot kept jumping from convention to convention without any of the in-between stuff that makes for good storytelling. (Unless, of course, you too have fallen deeply and meaningfully in love with someone by engaging in a series of training montages.) As I walked out of the theatre I realized what it was: I felt like I had just sat through a big budget “youth group movie”.

What’s a youth group movie, you ask? A youth group movie is the kind of a movie that you throw against a wall and if it don’t bounce back you go hungry (bow bow bow)…Sorry, having an obscure reference moment…okay we’re back. A youth group movie refers to the straight-to-video pablum that I was fed as a churchgoing teenager. Imagine a religiously-themed ABC after school special without the good writing or big budget (though I think they both often have Kirk Cameron in them – ooo burn!) and you’ll get the idea. According to the YGM’s that I watched, kissing gets you pregnant, having a beer will make you kill people with your car, smoking will make you a junkie and staying out of church will make you a wife beating SOB with no job. Don’t get me wrong, I am not mocking these films because I am anti-Christian or anything. What drove me mad about them, even as a teen, was that sex, substance use and abuse and domestic violence are issues that are far too important to be given such awful treatment. The choices we make about these issues in our lives will deeply affect who we become and will also determine what kind of effect we will ultimately have on the world around us. It’s disgraceful to offer platitudes, glossy generalizations and stereotypes when purporting to educate people on these issues.

This is exactly the same kind of treatment that James Cameron gives to the issues of environmental responsibility and the modern corporate version of Manifest Destiny. Here are the lessons I learned from watching Avatar:

1) It’s totally fine to lie to and betray someone that you declare love for as long as you feel really bad when the consequences of your betrayal destroy their home, their family and their way of life.

2) When unjustly persecuted by people who embrace violence against the innocent the best solution is to become more effectively violent. This will show them the error of their ways and certainly will not lead to any sort of escalation like, say, being bombed to subatomic particles from outer space.

3) Everything is nature is connected. Except for the people who are not connected to nature. Those people will try to blow nature to smithereens until nature gets pissed off and sends cavalry units in against heavy artillery.

4) Fear is a powerful motivator.

5) Everything is better when you’re a ‘Toon.

In most cases I would find this kind of funny and would shrug it off. I don’t generally look to films of this sort to educate me or calibrate my moral compass. The thing is, I have a daughter now and suddenly the future of this world means something different. It’s not enough that it’s here long enough for me, I want her to be able to live a long and fruitful life as well. There now exists for me an “and so on” that wasn’t there a few months ago. So these issues carry weight with me and I want them to be discussed intelligently in the public forum because I ultimately want wise decisions to be made.

Sarah Palin’s recent talks at Tea Party events and the like (side note: that no one attending these events was in any way risking their life for the sake of obtaining independence is a testament both to the efficacy of the work of our founders and the laughable use of that moniker for this current political fad) and the popularity of commentators like Bill Maher, Keith Olbermann, Sean Hannity and such demonstrate that we are increasingly seeking people out who will aggressively agree with us and who will help us circle the wagons against the threat of The Other Guys. When public discourse is a) moderated primarily by entertainers who have more incentive to spew invective than to offer reasonable propositions and promote healthy compromise; b) reduced by the Sound Byte Brigade to slogans, talking points and catch phrases; and c) approached from the viewpoint that all answers are obvious and only great fools (like anyone who doesn’t see things our way) can’t see the righteousness of our beliefs, then we will never be able to solve the problems we face together.

Banal fantasies like “military types like killing things for money” and “Mother Nature’s gonna get ya” only serve to encourage people to tune out on what you might have to say. I remember a conversation I had several years ago with a friend of mine on why various Christian evangelizing techniques were so completely ineffective. Mostly it’s because the vast majority of people I know don’t want to read a pamphlet with strangers. It’s also because in those pamphlets and tactics and techniques the heart of the message is lost. I suggested replacing the class with one phrase, “Jesus effing loves you, man.” (JELYM for short). Be honest, if all someone did to try to convince you of their belief was say something simple like that, you’d listen more than you would to, say, Kirk Cameron reading the 10 Commandments on a street corner (ooo burn again! – I actually saw him encouraging that exact thing on late night TV once).

Right now we’re facing crushing public debt, a growing divide between rich and poor – especially as it relates to health care, terrorist groups who truly do hate us, ongoing war efforts and serious environmental concerns. We must deal with these problems sooner rather than later and we must do so maturely with the best interests of all in mind. It frustrates me to see our legislators (I will not sully the word “leader” by associating it with Congress) focusing on outmaneuvering their opponents rather than reaching useful consensus. Particularly when the heart of the issues is lost amidst the bellicose tumult and podium pounding. You see, I think that most people would agree that giving public money away in large sums to people who just squandered the last large sum of money they were given is a bad idea. I think most people would agree that taking steps to ensure the longevity of our ecosystem is a good idea. I think that most people would prefer not fighting to fighting if we can help it and that if we can find a way to make sure that everyone has access to medical treatment then we should try to do that. And I think that most people would accept the notion that spending more money than you have without consideration of the consequences is a very, very bad idea. Granted, we will certainly differ on methodologies and priorities but if we agree on the heart of the matter then we can focus our debate on finding the best way to achieve a common goal rather than on how to best malign our opponents. We have got to acknowledge that despite our differences we are ultimately all in this together. My daughter is counting on it.

Occasionally I will take some time to jot down my thoughts in comments to other blogs or news sites. Since I have this forum as well I figured I may as well copy those writings here to have a repository for the knick knacks that clutter up my attic. Rather than waste a lot of space with the full posts to which I have replied, I’ll give a brief topic summary and a link to the original.

Taking a slight left at Albuquerque, while we’re talking about changing the Pledge of Allegiance why not change some of the other language as well? Rather than pledging our unswerving loyalty to a flag and a Government, why don’t we pledge our allegiance to one another instead? Enforcing a pledge of loyalty from its citizenry is a sign of insecurity in any government. I would rather that Congress, the President and all public servants start their day with a Pledge of Allegiance to the individuals they are honored to serve than my daughter start her day blindly backing an often corrupt State. I propose the following alternative pledge and encourage anyone required to start their day with their hand over their heart to give it a try:

I pledge commitment to my fellow man who walks with me in the journey of life and to the potential that we might reach, one nation formed of friends with liberty and justice for all. (So say we all. grin.)
Perhaps our children might then be able to discuss their political views without shouting at each other. Just a thought.

I learned something today from my daughter, or rather from taking care of my daughter. Rosalie Jayne is a sweet, sweet little 5 week old girl who seems generally very mild mannered and happy to be happy when everything is going smoothly. However, when she’s got some bad gas or an irritated bum (by the way Irritated Bum is the name of my new emo band [tips hat to Paul and Storm]) she has no problem demonstrating the quality of the work Katie did in developing her lungs in utero. Most days so far we’ve been able to run through the litany of food, diaper, hold her, rock her, walk her and fairly quickly she will calm right down and be as peaceful and beautiful as only a happy infant can be. Some days, though, we just haven’t been able to make her feel better no matter what we do and she is absolutely inconsolable for several minutes at a time. (Note: I have heard stories from several parents that have helped me to realize just how fortunate we are that her tough spells are still measurable in minutes.) However long, every time that she cries out it feels like someone is core drilling through my guts and setting off a fire alarm in my skull.

I adore my daughter. I am thoroughly and rapturously wrapped around every finger on her cute little hands. But I would be lying to you if I said I never got frustrated with her or hurt or afraid (which leads to the Dark Side) when she wails, especially in those times that we are trying so hard to figure out what is causing her distress so that we can fix it. When I reflect on the moments of frustration or fear I see clearly the they are rooted, as you might expect, in selfishness and helplessness. I try to use those moments to fuel my commitment to growing in those areas, consciously letting go of my daily agenda for the sake of what my family needs and acknowledging that having a baby that cries is not a sign of failure as a parent or as a man. This morning, though, I finally realized why I would feel offended or hurt – feelings that surprised me when they surfaced.

Gratitude. My daughter is incapable of actively showing gratitude. She cannot acknowledge our efforts to comfort her and care for her, she has know means of understanding that we are trying our best. All I wanted during that crying spell was to know that she was grateful for all that we do for her, all that we happily sacrifice for her. I know it will be some time before she develops enough to be able to say thanks and I know that this is an opportunity for me to improve my ability to love by removing the condition of gratitude. But I also see now how important it is to express my thanks to the people in my life who show me love, or compassion or generosity. I want them to know that their actions are thoroughly appreciated, that their efforts on my behalf were successful. I want them to reap the full measure of joy they deserve in giving to me (or to anyone).

If you know someone who loves without the expectation even of thanks, honor them and marvel at the perfection of their love.