A Perfect World

What would a perfect world look like to you? Would there be forests with waterfalls as far as the eye could see, or would there be rainbows, gumdrops, and pots of gold? In your perfect world, would there be only electric cars, and renewable energy? Would everyone be a billionaire and live in mansions with Ferrari’s and Lamborghini’s, or would money even exist?

All of these would make for a pretty awesome and perfect world, depending on what you fancy. For me, my perfect world would be a place where no one has malice, envy, racism, anger, judgment, or sorrow. Everyone would just be, and see one another for who we truly are, energy that has taken a solid form.

I actually got a little taste of my perfect world about two weeks ago when I got rushed to the hospital. Now, I know being rushed to the hospital isn’t in anyone’s perfect world, but ironically enough, if the event that happened to me two weeks ago didn’t take place, then I would not have had the opportunity to experience my perfect world…

On March 21, 2016, I was in my room consuming some much needed knowledge, or at least I thought it was much needed knowledge. I was watching a Jim Rohn video about “goals”. While watching this brilliant man, I felt a twinge in the back of the left side of my head. It felt like a migraine. So I went for a walk to get some fresh air to see if I could shake this “migraine” off. The walk didn’t help much. The walk actually made it worse to be honest.

Two days later, March 23, 2016 I woke up to my alarm clock, not that I really needed it because I didn’t sleep much, since I still had what I thought was a “migraine”. As I turned off my alarm on my phone so that I could call my mom to say good morning, I couldn’t feel the right side of my body. My arm felt heavy, my right temple and eye felt like it had pins and needles, the right side of my torso felt the same as my face, and my right thigh felt similar. It was a very strange feeling.

After speaking with my mom, I got that tingly pins and needles feeling again. I thought this was strange, and I thought I was having a stroke. I’m only 28 so that thought didn’t really worry me much, but it never hurts to be “better safe than sorry”, so I ended up taking myself to the hospital near my house. As I got to the hospital near my house, and got checked in, I went through many tests consisting of blood work, respiratory tests, and a CT scan. This process was quite intense and long.

During one of the many blood tests, the doctor came to tell me that I have a huge hematoma in my head. I was shocked because as a hemophiliac, this was my biggest nightmare and I never even hit my head!

I was baffled by this news and I know it would be normal, for someone in my shoes, to be sweating bullets, freaking out and thinking the worst. For some reason though, I felt extremely calm and at peace. It could of been because I was present, completely in the moment in the hands of the highest. Good thing at the time I was studying A New Earthby Eckhart Tolle. All the beautiful teachings helped with staying calm and in complete surrender.

After this news, I then got rushed to St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto. If you’re a hemophiliac in North America, this is the hospital you want to go to; some of the best hematology nurses and doctors around. As I got to St. Michael’s, I wasn’t doing well at all. To be honest, I thought I was going to die at that point, but I still felt calm and was in some serious discomfort. If you saw how I looked, you’d probably think the same thing.

After the dust settled, and the nurses got everything under control, I got put in a room with four people for 48 hours (I was asleep/discombobulated for these 48 hrs). The neurosurgeons in those 48 hours were debating if I needed brain surgery; and in those 48 hours I was out of it and high on liquid morphine. Luckily for me, I didn’t need brain surgery, and I ended up getting transferred to room 9046. This is when my life changed and I got a taste of what my perfect world would be like.

The room transfer happened on March 25, 2016. This was when I met a gentleman by the name of John Pilling. The first day we didn’t really talk much – but by the second day, it was as if we became best buddies over night. For the first two days of sharing a room with John, we never saw what each other looked like, which took away the denomination of judgment or race playing a hindrance on the growth of our genuine friendship. We respected one another simply as who we are. Now this isn’t to say either one of us are racist or judgmental by any means, but it has been subconsciously ingrained in our minds that upon meeting a new person, either race, gender, sexuality, religion, or what have you – our physical appearance and character traits will always come into play, in some shape or form.

By the third day, despite the colour of my skin, John made me feel like I was part of the family, introducing me to his very kind wife Jennifer, and his amazing son Gordon. John also would talk a lot about his daughter and her boyfriend, and how proud he was of them. I could tell John was a family man.

John and I would talk about life, and talk about motorcycles, because we both love bikes. We would crack jokes; one of John’s favorite things to say as we’d be lying in our beds staring at the ceiling is, “Time fly’s when you’re having so much fun.” – John Pilling. This would crack up every time because of the beautiful irony of our situation (no matter what your situation you’re currently in, you always have a choice to keep things light or dense and heavy).

We would also talk about how terrible the hospital food was and how we did not wish this food on our worst enemies. John was a stand up guy, and truly saw me for me, just a humble well mannered young person. I saw John as a respectable middle aged man with lots of life still in him. Ironically enough, John lived not too far from me – about a 15 minute drive north of where I currently live. Small world I told John, coming upon this discovery.

Even though laid up in the hospital for a total of eight days and twenty needles; the six days I got to know John was a true blessing. John showed me the true power behind seeing and respecting people for who they are. There is no room in this world for racism, envy, hate, anger, malice, or sorrow. There is infinite room for love, acceptance and the ability to just be. We can have a pretty damn close to perfect world if we can change our inner tune. The beautiful thing about all of this is, there is a shift in the universe, I can feel it, but we need more of the masses to come together and help with the momentum of this peaceful, loving shift. Start by making the shift within. That is the secret. There is absolutely no greater investment than that of investing in oneself.

As I write this, I still have a hematoma in my head that will take some time to heal. What won’t heal is the spot that I carry in my heart for John Pilling, who transcended into the heavens on the morning of April 8, 2016 at 2 am. My heart and prayers go out to John’s wonderful family, who are now an extension of my family, and to all of John’s wonderful friends. You will be missed John, but never forgotten. And thank you for being a great friend.

In loving memory of John Pilling; Beloved husband, father, brother, and friend.

God wants us to know that life is a series of beginnings, not endings. Just as graduations are not terminations, but commencements. Creation is an ongoing process, and when we create a perfect world where love and compassion are shared by all, suffering will cease.
– Bernie Siegel