practice

"Manipulative" or manipulative skills in
residential practice

Charles Pragnell challenges
us to examine our own attitudes ...

Terms commonly heard in and around residential units
are 'manipulate' or 'manipulative'. They are most often used by
residential workers when they describe a particular client, sometimes in
a derogatory sense, whose behaviour is difficult to control or monitor,
and perhaps who presents a threat to the authority of the worker or the
accepted social order in the unit. Such clients tend to be looked on
with suspicion or apprehension.

And yet, manipulative skills are probably the most
important skills any individual can possess. In order to exercise
control over our immediate environment or at times, to survive in our
social group, we all use manipulative skills as a constant part of
communicating with other people.

Indeed some professions, such as politics or law,
develop these skills to a superlative degree even, perhaps, to an art
form. And rightly so, to persuade, cajole, or coerce others into the way
we wish them to respond or behave is a significant part of establishing,
maintaining and controlling social order at all levels “whether in
small groups such as the family, or in wider society.

Our values and standards, our belief systems. are
consistently under challenge and ever changing. Individuals manipulate
others to achieve change or to resist change. Why then do residential
workers become so apprehensive, even fearful, of individuals in care,
particularly children, who they describe as manipulative?

Firstly, it may be that children are too obvious (or
innocent) in their attempts to manipulate. Adults, having had
considerably more practice, are able to be more subtle or secretive in
their manipulation of others.

Secondly, many adults like to feel that they are in
charge of a situation and, certainly, our work can so easily be the
sinecure for the benevolent dictator. Such people invariably have
considerable feelings of insecurity in themselves, and only by totally
and autocratically controlling their social group, can they create their
own security and cope with threats to their own functioning.

A child, therefore, who challenges this autocracy
and displays manipulative skills too overtly, becomes a threat to the
worker. The child has not necessarily behaved inappropriately but too
naively. Yet the child himself is merely demonstrating his own
insecurity, his inability to exercise some control over his environment
in order that the environment more appropriately responds to, and meets,
his needs.

Such environments within residential units, deny the
child responsibility or participation in deciding the nature of the
social order. Rules and regulations are set by adults both inside and
outside the unit, and are rigidly enforced by sanctions.
The child is a captive or prisoner to the rules of others, and then
faces the choice of lapsing into helplessness and total dependency or he
challenges the enforced social order.

If he chooses the former, he is in great danger of
damage to his future development and the pattern of his life will be
dependency on others and a lack of confidence and ability to make
decisions for himself or cope with the daily stresses and demands of
living.

If he chooses the latter, he will be in danger of
being labelled difficult and deviant. His actions will be interpreted
increasingly as a threat to others and his motives assessed as
malevolent. The process of labelling as a deviant will then begin.
Initially, he may be dismissed as unfortunate, and not really
responsible for his actions because he “knows no better”.

If he persists in his behaviour, causing discomfort or annoyance to the
adults around him, he will then be labelled mad (stupid, irresponsible)
or bad (rebellious, truculent, etc).

If attempts to force him into conformity
(complacency, apathy) should fail, he must ultimately escape from the
oppression. Aggression, violence, and absconding will then be examples
of the few behavioural options available to him.

This is how the game is played and although every
occasion does not enfold in exactly the same way, the rules of the game
invariably apply, and each player adopts an allotted role. In his book
The Games People Play, Eric Berne1
highlighted how interactions between individuals follow certain patterns
as in a game, and how manipulative skills are used by the players as
they engage in tactical ploys leading to an inevitable end or result - dominance of one over the other.

If it is accepted that manipulative skills are a
normal, acceptable part of human behaviour, this raises other questions
for residential and day care staff.

Firstly, how can these skills be developed and
improved as part of each client’s social skill development in order to
improve that individual’s functioning in the social groups to which he
belongs?

Secondly, what does it tell us about the social
order which exists in the client’s environment? If that environment is
not responding appropriately to meet the client’s needs, why is this and
whose needs is the social order meeting?

These questions are important, as Berne's work
further suggests that the client’s perception of the world is
significantly affected in particular ways according to how the
environment responds to, and meets, his needs for status and
recognition.

The view we take of ourselves and of other people is formed at an early
age and remains relatively unchanged unless positive action is taken to
alter it.

Furthermore, we then live our lives in order to
reinforce this view of ourselves and others, behaving in those ways by
which we have successfully gained recognition in the past, whether this
was for behaviour that was socially acceptable or unacceptable.

In considering whether behaviour and attitude change
is a desirable objective for a client, we must examine how much our
perception of that behaviour is affected by our own values, fears,
biases, and prejudices and by the nature of the existing social order in
that setting.

Should, perhaps, the change be in ourselves or the
social structure we have created?

1. Berne, E., The Games People Play.
Harmondsworth; Penguin 1966.

Social Work Today, 11(48)

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