Thursday, February 9, 2012

Love Is In The Air

Cop: I stopped him about a mile from here after observing him driving in and out of the same cul de sac 17 times.

Jeremy: My friend Viral lives there.

Dad: You took my car in the middle of the night so you could drive by a girl's house 17 times!!!!

Jeremy: It wasn't 17 times, it was 63!

Cop: Steady Walt (cop holding dad back)

Jeremy: And you are almost out of gas!

Ah young love. If your teen has yet to have his/her first experience with love, pay close attention. Like Jeremy, their first experience with love knows no boundaries. Because this is literally the first time in their entire life that they have experienced feelings so intensely, they might look as though they have gone a little crazy. They want to spend excessive amounts of time with this new object of their affection, are texting constantly with him/her, and are driven to distraction, reliving every tender moment.

With Valentine's day upon us, they may be running out to buy an extravagant gift to show their beloved the depth of their love. This might make you uncomfortable when you see the price on the gift they have chosen to give. If they are coming to you for cash, you certainly have the opportunity to put a limit on their generosity. If they are using their own money, beware of being critical as in "that's a ridiculous amount of money to spend on someone you have only been with a month, and will probably break up with before the year is over." I do think it is important to share some insight about this but I would do it a bit more gently as in: " I get how important he/she is to you, and I am so excited for you that you have someone in your life that you care so much about. Giving someone something so extravagant can make them feel uncomfortable, especially if they can't afford to reciprocate. It is more important to give them something that has sentimental value and that makes them feel special, rather than something that has a hefty price tag. The presents I love the most have been the ones that show that someone really understands what makes me happy, like when X gave me Y. It hardly cost anything, but showed how much X understood me. " Tell me a little about him/her and maybe I can help you come up with some ideas.

As in all things adolescence, teens have no experience with love. And the rush of having one person shower all their love and attention on you is ecstasy. They may need your help in staying focused on the other things in their life that require attention, just be gentle when you remind him/her, or you might find yourself out of the circle of love.

About Me

With over 30 years working with parents and kids, I think I have seen and heard just about everything. Surprise me, I always like a challenge and a good parenting story. I hope that with a little humor and understanding I can educate and share with you a new perspective.
My book: I Get It: Three Magic Words for Parents of Teens is available at my website: www.joanigeltman.com