Glenn Beck Imagines What An Al Gore Presidency Might Have Looked Like (Hint: It Includes A 'Trip' To The Day Spa)

Ten years after Al Gore lost the White House to
George W. Bush in a recount New York
magazine has put forward the question many Dems spent much of the
Aughts contemplating: 'What would an Al Gore presidency have
looked like?'

Here is part of Glenn
Beck's (yes) response. Short version: It
sounds an awful lot like the Bush presidency we got...but with
polar bears!

By now the election was old news, as were the good old days of a
high-forties approval rating. The American people had developed
the attention span of a 6-year-old in the middle of Ritalin
withdrawal. We need something new, Gore thought while
staring out at the South Lawn—and where is my four o’clock
appointment?

Gore’s four o’clock was another one of the bright young minds
that he liked to surround himself with, a guy named Barry Obama.
(Who continued to maintain that his name was Barack, leading Gore
to once advise him that no one in North Carolina would ever be
caught dead voting for a guy named Barack.) Barry had come to the
administration as deputy attorney general via an under-the-radar
deal between Gore and Jack Ryan, now the senator from Illinois.
Though he had been leading Barry in the polls, Ryan didn’t want
to take any chances, so he called in a favor. He had information
about a certain late afternoon Gore had spent in a hotel in
Chicago a few years back. A trip to the day spa had turned into a
second chakra-release party.

Barry had tried to hold out for the top gig at the Department of
Justice, but too many questions would be raised if a guy with
virtually no experience somehow became attorney general. It was
completely implausible. He finally gave in and dropped out of the
Senate race after Gore threw in a month-long “fact-finding” trip
to Spain for him and his family.