Fuck You, Breastfeeding Shamers.

A year ago a friend posted on her Facebook page about a terrible experience on a plane where she was trying to breastfeed her 9 week old son. I remember feeling so angry for her, and grateful in a way that I had never had to endure the disapproving gaze of some arse bandit wearing bad shoes. Maybe I did, but perhaps I didn’t notice it because I was so bone tired and trying to keep up with all the expectations of being a new mum.

Anyway, this rant deserved to be shared here. Because it’s pretty damn majestic.

Dear cranky old man on the plane in the aisle across from me,

Yes I got on to a plane with a baby. Yup, he was crying ’cause you know, he’s a baby and that’s what they do.

When I got on the plane I apologised to the people around me if my little dude made some noise as its his first flight & he’s only 9 weeks old. The air hostess was absolutely lovely. You saw her talking to me. You heard me say I’m a first time Mum & nervous about flying with my newborn.

She stowed away my bags and when I said I would feed my baby to help him equalise as we were flying, she offered me a blanket and a pillow to make it more comfortable. You, cranky old man, stared at me while I lifted up my shirt, unclipped my bra & started to feed my baby.

You shook your head, looked down at your feet and muttered ‘that’s disgusting’. Now you can’t possibly have meant me breastfeeding my child was disgusting, right? It’s one of the most natural things in the world. Feeding my baby with milk from my breasts can’t possibly be disgusting.

Perhaps you were disgusted by my hair? Nope can’t be that as pink & purple hair is super rad. Perhaps it’s my tattoo? I mean yeah, it’s a work in progress and not finished but it’s beautiful. Can’t be that either, right? Can’t be the Pink Floyd t-shirt I’m wearing as I’m pretty sure everyone likes them. Hmmmm. What’s got you looking at your feet & muttering disgusting?

Hang on. I see the problem. It’s your shoes. Brown leather boat shoes. Mate, I’d be shaking my head and muttering disgusting too as they are a pretty fucking poor taste in shoes. Guess you’re cranky as you’re wearing fucking ugly shoes and by the look on your face I’d say they’re pinching your feet. So glad you weren’t disgusted at the sight of me breastfeeding my child.

Sincerely, Who needs your fucking approval anyway?!

And he teamed those feral shoes with socks. And shaved his legs, possibly to make his sexy bulging veins stick out more. FOOL.My friend Kristy who is one of the greatest humans ever. With excellent hair. Always.

You hear it time and time again with women who have been forced to either cover up or feel bad about their decision to breastfeed in public. I whipped out my milk cannons whenever the need arose, you have to! I know I would far prefer to see a hungry baby being fed and some boobage than a screaming womb raider starving and yelling the place down. Seriously. THIS MUST STOP. They are just tits, get the fuck over it.

So for every disapproving, interfering, bad boat shoe wearing asshole in this world that wants to stop a child being fed because they think it’s gross…..FUCK YOU AND THEN FUCK OFF AND THEN EXTRA FUCK YOU SOME MORE.