When I’m on vacation in Guatemala and and my girlfriend says “I think I saw something moving in the trees”

When you nut but she keeps suckin

When I make a flat earth joke to a new friend and they begin to “explain” that the earth IS flat and that it’s NOT a joke, but a serious conspiracy and people can’t remember the Earth is flat even if they reach the ice wall guarded by NASA because of a magnetic force that wipes your memory

When my entire newsfeed is composed of Trump stories

When the girl is hideous but she is giving amazing head

When I drop my date off and can finally fart in peace

When the girl of my dreams says “I’m so lucky to have a friend like you.”

When we’ve been at the mall for 3 hours and my girlfriend asks if I like the dress on the right or left