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Wow! I can’t believe how much I’ve been slacking on my blog posts. For someone who is at home all day, I’ve been finding it hard to take time out to write.

So updates!

We’ve finished our home study now. No more in depth questioning from the social worker! Or writing homework to add to the PAR. Our social worker has been doing our reference visits over the last couple of weeks. It’s a strange thing when your parents are interviewed to find out if you could become a parent. But that is the beast that is adoption.

Unfortunately we’re not going to Panel in September as was originally planned. It’s been postponed until October due to some delays with paperwork, holidays and reference meetings being rearranged. It was a blow but we do understand why it’s happened.

The major frustration is that face it means we won’t have a little one home by Christmas. We were pushing it with a September Panel date but now there’s another four weeks added it’s highly unlikely. Plus my little sister is getting married in January so we won’t be able to start a placement then as I don’t live near my family so we’re going to have to spend the weekend in my home town. Not ideal when just starting a placement with an adoptive child!

I currently feel as if I’m in some kind of never ending limbo. We’re trying to keep busy, the garden is actually usable now, the jobs in the house are getting done and we’ve been reading lots of books about attachment and child development. But the reality is we’re just waiting for the day our little one comes home.

I keep thinking about what our child might be like, and what they may have already been through. It breaks my heart that they could be living with a foster carer right now, waiting for a forever family to come and take them home. And here we are with open hearts and arms, just waiting for paperwork. I understand why so much has to go into our PAR, and why we have to the approved etc. It doesn’t stop me wishing away the days!