Saturday, September 29, 2012

Friday, September 28, 2012

Im feeling a lil better today. I think its because ive been eating a bit better. Like so far today I hard boiled 2 small eggs. Mashed it up, put some olive oil and salt n pepper and ate it. (a simple Palestinian middle eastern recipe if you would like to try btw) then I made a peanut butter sandwich on 1slice of white bread and ate most of that with some apple juice. I can't really chew so I mash it up with my tongue and the roof of my mouth. I'm trying to get some texture in my food cuz these boost drinks and juice drinks are getting old. So I guess the fact I'm eating some things I used to eat makes me feel better. Now onto steaks. Lol. Ya right. I wonder how long it will take to actually eat things like steak comfortably.

I'm still having a lot of pain at night. The scariest thing is my whole face and head gets numb. Yes my whole head. It's like when your arm falls asleep but my whole head. I take vicodin at night just to dope up and fall asleep. It doesn't help with numbness. I hope that'll go away because I don't think I can live the rest of my life like that. I have a couple questions though..

When does that cotton in your cheeks feeling go away?

Does anybody have a problem with their uvula? That's that hangy ball thing in the back of the throat. I think it feels swollen. Like I'm almost swallowing it. It kinda sits on my tongue. I'm worried it's because my jaws were moved up that now it reaches it.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

I woke up feeling terrible today. But with all the support on here and everything I've decided I need to stick it out. I need to remind my self I may have too many downs but at least I get a couple ups. Where I never had one up at all so that's a sign of improvement. But of course the minute I get somewhat optimistic this happens. My bite is off today. I really hope this isn't a relapse. Maybe it's cuz the of the swelling locations? I'm kinda freaking out.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Sorry I havent kept up with my blog daily as I intended to but I've been extremely depressed. I've heard of many patients all down. Or had some ups and some downs. But I'm just always down and crying nonstop. I thought it was from my meds suffering withdrawal symptoms but I've been taking OTC tylenol and Advil for a couple days and same thing. I've been even thinkin suicidal at times. I know this is not normal and my docs said it is normal to feel depressed. Anyways im trying to take it the best I can. I'm so mad at myself too. I didn't know I am this weak. Well anyways I guess I will see how I feel everyday. I just hope this goes away real soon

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Finally I feel good! Its cuz i finally took a shower today and it felt great! Well it didnt start off that way. I woke up 5 am to go straight to the ER. I was having anxiety attacks. I felt nauseous and so sick. They gave me 2 iv bags for extra fluids. Checked my blood..everything is good. gave me pain killers, and steroids to help with swelling. They also gave me Benadryl cuz they said that can help with swelling also. I told them i was having a hard time urinating. Found out I have a bladder infection:( So even more antibiotics.

Swelling is more rounder in the face now. My eyes are a lil black n blue but no big deal. Just looks like I need concealer. My nose is still slightly asymmetrical but looks a bit less deviated. I have some bruising now in my cheeks and neck. My lips are worrying me because one side is more swollen while the other side looks like a really thin lip. Hopefully they will match when the swelling is gone. Oh, Now i gave a gummy smile on my bottom teeth! Is that even possible??? I'm going tomorrow to my first official post op. I'm so nervexcited!

My brother came and visited me today And I think I wore myself out with a lot of talkin. One thing that's overwhelming to me is frozen face. I can be an emotional person especially through times like this and not being able to have any facial expressions is really hard. I can kinda smile now. Boy I cannot wait when I can smile a big ol cheezy smile! The last pic is of me really trying to!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Worst day so far. I'm losing patience already. I didn't expect to feel this bad. Worst part for me is swelling. Even if I look normal swollen I really am more than what I look like. My throat has got to be the worst. I feel like my trachea is almost swollen shut. I know it isn't but the numbness in my mouth is what makes it feel that way. Remember how I talked about lack of numbness before. Well I was wrong. Im pretty numb in a lot of places.

I'm extremely drugged up right now and I feel like I'm not being as informative as I can be. I guess I'll just give you guys some facts until I can explain things better

I shouldn't be complaining. It is expected that day 3 is the worst. It only gets better from here. I already love the results that I can see and I'm still amazed that ALL MY TEETH TOUCH! Unbelievable feeling. Today I switched to warm compresses instead of ice packs. I'm itchy everywhere. Idk if its from the Ned's or anesthesia wearing off. I look like a heroin addict.

Friday, September 21, 2012

I woke up feeling not too bad but than again I took my meds not too long ago. I gotta say though. For day 1 yesterday. It was pretty bad. I thought day 3 should be the worst do I'm not looking forward for these couple days. My nose still drips blood and yellow goo. My air passage way worries me because my swelling is giving me a hard time to breathe. Another thing that you should buy are eyedrops. My eyes are burning and stinging like hell. Idk is it because I might be dehydrated so they're dry? I'm not really keeping up with my goal about eating. It's really really hard. All I had yesterday was some water, a few sips of juice and maybe a 1/3 of a boost drink. Terrible I know but it's so freakin hard. Today for day 2, I think I'm doing better with food. I drank 2 boosts 1 ensure 1naked superfood juice and 1 cranberry juice.

Here's some pics. The real close up are my lips at rest and the other one is my biggest smile I can do so far.

Ps I know my posts are scrambled and probably don't make a lot of sense. Sorry in advance

Thursday, September 20, 2012

I look the Vito corleone from the godfather. I still should expect double of this swelling. Oh geez

I still haven't ate yet so I need to cuz its gonna catch up to me if I don't.

I seen my surgeons today. They took new x rays and wow they look great. They said everything was all smooth during the surgery. My movement was upper jaw moved up 4 mm and slightly angled. And My lower jaw 12mm! They advanced it about 9 manually but with my upper jaw moved up, my lower jaw angled and gave me an extra 3 mm. So I definitely didn't need a genio cuz I think it looks great. I have asymmetry in my face from the swelling. My left (your right) is more swollen.

I have another concern. (Hopefully no more things to concern about please!)
Is when I looked at my X-ray at home...i think i see one hole in the plates for my upper jaw is missing a screw. And I don't know if it's just in my head being paranoid but i think I feel like a clicking there at certain times. I will bring it up to them on Monday when I see them again

The night before I could not sleep as you can imagine. And I figured I'll be asleep the next whole day anyways. I probably got about 2 hours of sleep that night.

I woke up at 4:30 am and decided to get ready. Put a sweater, sweatpants and some sneakers on.
I had to wait around for my husband to get ready and we left home at 6:40. We got there exactly at 7am

I checked in and waited about 10 min till they called me in without my husband. I changed into a gown, they checked my vitals, took a urine sample and put my IV in. They brought my husband in. I was shaking so bad that they thought I was so cold and wrapped me with 2 blankets. I told them I'm not cold at all, that it was my nerves. I even became nauseous but luckily I didn't vomit.

It was now time to go into the operating room. I kissed my husband goodbye and walked to the room.

I was like omg this is so scary. I laid down on the bed and they tucked me in. The anesthesiologist asked me some questions and sprayed the nastiest spray in my nose. He needed my nostrils to be clear because he needed to stick an air tube in my nose and down. But that part was done when I was knocked out. They iv'd me and masked me till I drifted off. I remember saying how I hate this part cuz its forcing me to sleep while I'm trying to fight it.

What I remember next was hazy. I woke up probably around 1 or 2 pm. I remember trying to read the clock on the wall but I couldn't see too god.

Ok..And I don't mean what I'm about to say next to scare anyone. But I was in so much pain in my lower jaw when i was in the recovery room. But I remember 99% of bloggers saying that they felt no pain just uncomfortable. So I was about to cry from the pain. Even with meds I still felt it. My upper jaw hasn't and still does not feel painful what so ever! It's weird, you would think that the upper would hurt more. My only explanation of why I feel this pain and that most don't Is because...believe it or not I have minimal numbness. So of course I'm gonna feel all this. Don't get me wrong, I have numbness all over but I can feel tingling and stuff. I can say I have the most numbness in half of my lower lip and half my chin. I did not do a genioplasty. I just don't think I need it

I was dozing on and off all day. My mom came to see me and it was comforting. My surgeons didn't come to see me after because I will be seeing them first thing in the morning at about 7 am.

I can't believe what a good job they did! Appearance wise, I look a heck of a lot better. I have a jaw line now!! I can't see my gums because I'm so swollen that I can't move my face or smile. I can talk somewhat though. But where the top wire looks now I can tell it will look good. They told me I will still have somewhat of a gummy smile no matter what but more natural looking.

I didn't eat anything. I take tiny sips of water and couple sips of ginger ale.

I didn't bring any of my supplies except squirt bottle and my meds. I should of brought my aquaphor but lucky the had a regular ol cherry Chapstick just for me. Lip moisturizing is a must! So remember to bring it with you.

My only two concerns so far is that my swelling is pretty bad. And I'm not even at the peak of it yet. I can't imagine being more swollen than this. My throat is extremely swollen and I'm scared when I swell up more that it will affect my breathing. But, everyone who said that you can breathe through the nose perfectly is right. I was amazed of the difference from before surgery. I never even knew I couldnt breathe that good through my nose till there was a comparison.

My other major concern is that I told my surgeon of my anxiety attacks that he said I will just put a couple of bands in. Not too much. He said they band you shut so you can bite into the correct position because I'm not gonna know where to bite. Here's the problem. I'm starting to notice is the right side of my mouth keeps shifting. Like back even. I keep trying to find the right position but both places I rest them feel right. But I know olny one place Is the correct position. I hope nothing is going wrong there. I'm going to see the surgeons in the morning and he definitely needs to check it out.

I don't know how I typed all this while I'm this doped up lol.

Well I will hopefully keep you all posted a quick as I can. They said im going to feel the worst on day 3. What! you mean this isn't the worst!!?? Oh god lol. No honestly who evers up next to do the surgery don't get frightened. Everything honestly isn't that bad. It's just I feel this way because I don't have as much numbness so I feel everything. But you know what..That's a good thing!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

I can't really explain all the mixed emotions I am feeling. I can't really compare it to anything. It's a mix of drinking too much red bull and taking a handful of downers. Too make things worse I got sick and the surgery was almost cancelled. I know....who gets sick 2 days before surgery??? I went to the doc and he said I have fluid in my ear which might or might not be and acute ear infection. I was like omg I'm having surgery in 2 days and he's like here's some antibiotics and you should be well enough for surgery. I call the oral surgeons office and they said they will call me back with the surgeons decision. He calls back with the ok because I was already on antibiotics. That was yesterday...Well today I'm still feeling not too good. I'm so worried. Honestly it could be a mix of serious stress and allergies. I just am afraid of going in with this weak feeling. Hopefully the adrenaline will make me feel better tomorrow morning.

I'm extremely nervous an scared. I feel like a baby. There's times when I tear up a lil bit. I need to toughen up.

I picked up my antibiotics and my oxycodone with Tylenol from the pharmacy.

I don't know what else I need to do. I keep thinkin theres more to do but I think there's nothin i can do except to wait for the big day. Now if only I can sleep...

See you guys! I hope I can be strong enough to write tomorrow. If not I'll keep you updated as soon as I feel up to it

Saturday, September 15, 2012

I had my pre op appt yesterday and everything is ready and set. I previously posted about how my oral surgeon wouldn't be there at the appt but the new asst surgeon would, and how I was going crazy because I never met the guy. Well turns out... I'm so happy that I seen him. He turned out to be super nice and very informative. And specific I might add. I asked him about my asymmetry in my face and he told me the honest truth. He said my face features are naturally asymmetrical and forcing my jaw to be extremely straight and symmetrical would only cause my crooked features to be more obvious. I totally agreed. He explained everything about the surgery and the recovery process and said everything should turn out fine. I was very comfortable with the answers he gave me.

They took molds and gave me a mini gift bag with a bottle and a great book called dinner through a straw. I suggest reading it because it has really great tips and its mostly recipes that sound really tasty.

My surgery is Sept 19th and I need be there at 7 am. I don't know exactly when the actual surgery will start. They requested 4 hours for the whole surgery, but that's the maximum so it can average to take about 2 1/2 to 3 hours.

OK well....4 more days! eek

I am making up a new word. I'm nervexcited. You can figure out the definition :P

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The size of the spoons are small enough to fit in your mouth. These are 'take & toss' kind so if you take them with you and you accidentally lose 'em or just wanna throw 'em away..no big deal

BABY/CHILDREN'S TOOTH BRUSH

For some reason I couldn't find baby toothbrushes but I found some for children. I guess these are slightly bigger but will still do the trick

BABY BIBS

Lol I found some ''not so baby looking'' bibs. I don't think I can wear an Elmo or an ''I love my mommy'' bib. I think these would help with eating/drinking to catch all of the dripping mess.

Nutrisqueeze bottle
My surgeons office said that they will have bottles for me to drink out of in the surgery center and I will take them home but I just wanted to buy an extra one just in case. I liked the tip of the straw part on this bottle. I got it from craniorehab.com

Liquid syringes

These should be more quicker to drink your meal. Geez that hurt. I am a CARNIVORE and for me to drink my meal...UGH....ok anyways.....these are also from from craniorehab.com . It came with 1 rubber tip attachment that you can see on the table behind it. I don't know why it only came with one when I purchased a 3 syringe pack.

Dry erase board/marker

This would be good for quick messages. I would probably use a pen and paper if I need to explain something in more detail

BOOGIE WIPES

These have saline in it which would help with congestion

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AQUAPHOR

For lips which will get extremely dry and chapped. Especially with anyone banded or wired shut.

VASELINE
Just in case the aquaphor doesn't work for my lips

CHILDREN'S MOTRIN

Liquid form in case pills are hard to swallow. You may also prefer this when you have slight pain but dont want or need to take the hardcore painkillers. I don't know if I will use this but I've read many have in other blogs.

MAGIC BULLET
The magic bullet is a mini blender great for blending fruits, veggies, soups, almost anything. Its quicker and less messy than a big 'ol blender. Problem is I never opened it yet and worried that me or my husband wont even know how to use it lol

ARNICA GEL

I've also read about this in other blogs. It's a gel that helps with swelling, pain and bruises.

FOOD TRAY TABLE

Breakfast in bed....and lunch...and snacks....and dinner. At least for the first few days. Hopefully I will feel better to eat (drink) in the kitchen

BED REST PILLOW

I guess you're not supposed to sleep laying down. Oh gosh, I don't know how to handle this since I am a side sleeper and sometimes face down sleeper which is even worse

HAND MIRROR

To look at my beautiful face while I eat and drool. I've heard it will be hard to eat because you're so numb and swollen that it would help to actually see what you are doing

WET CLEANSING CLOTHS

These are great for cleaning your face because it will be kind of hard to wash it the first few days. Plus I found these not to be so obnoxious in fragrance like others.

WISP BRUSHES
These are pre pasted mini brushes which will help keep fresh in between actual brushing. (No water needed)

WASH CLOTHS
I don't want to waste so much paper towels so I'll have these handy for drool and stuff. Or if you prefer, you can also buy tissues with aloe if its easier

NOTEBOOK

To write down my medicine and dosage. Also to write really long things that would probably be annoying to write with a dry erase board

Q TIPS

To apply Vaseline to my lips and help clean in my nose.

JAW BRA

I was also going to purchase this on craniorehab.com but my surgeons office said I will have a similar one to take home. This ones cool because you can slip ice packs or frozen veggies in the pockets on each side

BED BUDDY WRAP

Another thing I've read on other blogs which ppl have found useful. Not sure if I will use it since I'll have the jaw bra which seems easier. Even if I don't end up using it, I could always use it if I ever have back or shoulder pain. Or maybe even give it to my mom for her arthritic knee

HUMIDIFIER

Helps with congestion

LIQUID OR CHEWABLE MULTIVITAMIN

You gotta get your vitamins in. They sell liquid form but it tastes like bile so I got the chewable fruity kind that I will try to blend in with my smoothies. I hope it wont taste chalky though, otherwise I have no idea how to take a multivitamin

NAKED SUPERFOOD
I love these! They taste amazing. I'll probably end up just drinking these because I know I'm not going to like my own concoctions

FROZEN FRUIT /FROZEN FRUIT-YOGURT SMOOTHIE BLENDS

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Great for making quick smoothies

ENSURE/ BOOST SHAKES

These have so much nutrition in them and high in calories. I want to make sure I keep my calorie intake as high as I can in order to feel and heal well.

BUDDY FRUITS/ SUPERFRUITS

These looked cool cuz u can squeeze them!

I don't think I need to take pics of things like jello and ginger-ale and stuff. I think you guys know what those are lol