Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Having no time for something new, I thought this would be a good old drawing that fits the topic well enough.

Needless to say, since this was drawn about 12 years ago – and it isn't terribly complex – there will be no breakdown of how I made it.

And, even though I haven't had time to create anything new*, I did manage to find a few moments here and there to color some line art that a few people submitted to the Flickr group "Zombie Army". I feel they also go with this weeks IF topic as being something to run from:

Again, I didn't draw any of those zombies. I just rosied up their cheeks a bit. And that's nowhere near as difficult as making something from scratch. Heck, since you all were kind enough to visit, here's the adventurer in color:

That took about 13 minutes but you guys are worth it.

Oh yeah, before I forget to mention it, all of the images are clickable to view at a larger size.

Have a great weekend everyone.

* Okay, I probably COULD have made something new, but I just didn't. I have too much on my mind right now to design new thingies. But I can still color. There should be something new in a bit over two weeks.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Now all that's left is the easy bit of moving and combining two apartments into one house. I'm tired and sore right now just from the small amount of moving that we've been able to do so far. A huge thanks to Derek, Squatchy, Jess, Karen and Kevin for all their help this past weekend.

Anyhow, I'm now a home owner. Eventually (I expect by the end of the month or so) I'll be able to return to being an "artist" for my site. Until then, mind the tumbleweeds. They have sticky fingers and a taste for expensive women and cheap wine.

My internet connection at my apartment decided to crap out some time yesterday. After 37 minutes on the phone with tech support this morning (I love now having a home phone that lets me know how long I've been talking) we were able to determine that something is wrong. Perhaps the modem has crapped out. I don't know. They don't know. Nobody knows. Is it going to be fixed? I don't know. They might know. I hope so.

Utilities are straightened out for the house, but I still have to call Qwest, inform Earthlink once I know if my phone number will be accompanying me on the move (and once I have internet again), arrange a truck for the 8th & 9th, get change of address forms for the post office, notify my bank, notify my credit card companies, and God knows what else. I'm sure there is more, but I'm just too tired to really think much beyond that. It's going to be a busy lunch.

Have a great week everyone! I will at least have something "old" up for this weeks Illustration Friday topic "run". Probably on Thursday.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Once again, as you've probably noticed, I've changed my header. I was tired of the old one and felt that it was time for something new. So, there it is. I apologize to anyone viewing it in a tiny window, because it will cut into the sidebar. As time goes by I'll try to find out a way that it can be auto-scaled, or perhaps change it to a template that uses the whole top for the header.

I've also dug deep in my archive and found the first post (I think) where I mocked some spam. I pulled it up, dusted it off, corrected a few errors, and added some new bits to it. You can find it at Spam-A-Polooza, our new community-style blog that explores and makes fun of some of that unwanted, unsolicited email that goes by the popular name of "spam". Right now the content is a bit lean, but we have four contributors so far so it should improve before long. We are also open to anyone else that might be interested. Just let me know in the comments or send me an email.

And, if everything goes well, we should be closing on our new house this Friday. With luck that'll mean the migraines will stop. Or at least lessen.

Here's a story from this morning. I was zoning too much after dropping my son off at school, thinking about how he's in his last year of middle school and about moving. Basically thoughts about the future. And I passed right through a red light. Not fast. Just moseying along at about 30 mph. Out of the corner of my left eye I saw that a truck was barreling toward my driver's side door. I guess he didn't have time to honk because I never heard anything, but he also didn't hit me. When I wasn't hit by the truck I was expecting to get nailed on my right side because I hadn't even looked that way yet.

I got real lucky.

So the lesson there kids is don't give too much thought to the future or you might not have one. Also, look both ways before crossing the street, even if you are in a car. If you see a vehicle that isn't stopping, hit the brakes.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The house buying proceeds. I just got past the inspection and there aren't any major problems. My realtor is going to put together a list of things that need fixing and he will pass it along to the seller's realtor. The closing is still set for the 25th. Whee.

The downside is I've been more stressed than usual, and I haven't been sleeping that well lately. So I'm starting to feel really run down.

Also in the pot, I've created something that might be great, or it might flop like... something very floppy. My mind isn't working well right now.

Anyhow, it's Spam-a-Palooza, and while there isn't much of anything there right now, with some time, sunshine, water and manure it just might blossom into something wonderfully stinky, like that corpse-flower in New York. To really make it grow though, I'm going to need help. Thats where you people come in, if you want. Be my manure! Or water. Sunshine? Whatever. My head is thumping in a bad way right now.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

But no, I just get the same old spam about penis enlargement, mail-order viagra, replica watches, hot stock deals and bargain software.

Oh, and spam for fatties. Some of you who know me might be thinking, "Well that one is pretty well targeted" and I'll admit, I can stand to lose some weight. But really, who in their right mind would buy diet pills over the internet?

Diet pills like these (my additions are in red and I changed the names because I've gotten enough cease-and-desist letters, thank you. All typos not in red are theirs):

Flab-B-Gone -- The newest and most exciting fat loss product available - As scen on Oprah

The show? Or the woman? We'll let you decide.

Did you know obesity kills more and more people every year? It's the massive killer that moves on surprisingly nimble feet. We know you hate the extra pounds, the ugly look on your stupid face and the social stigmata attached to fat people. Not to mention the occasional candy bar you find wedged in one of the many crevasses that criss-cross your gigantic bouncy self. Moreover, you can barely do anything about the addiction to high-fat foods. Just shutting your mouth doesn't work because, let's admit it, you have the self control of a locust in a cornfield. This all sounds familiar, fatty-fat-ball-of-lard? Then we have something for you!

Introducing Flab-B-Gone, the ultimate product for weight loss. Nothing works better at shedding the weight except death, and that's an option best saved for later. The greatest thing is that Flab-B-Gone improves the quality of your life, making you crave food less, giving you better mood lighting and eliminating the extra weight. It will also do your taxes, walk your dog, read to your children, take out the garbage, satisfy your spouse, overthrow a neighboring country, turn your feet green, slay your enemies, hide your cocaine, talk to the animals and so much more! Read what real people really say about this real product:

"This is wonderful! Instead of watching TV and stuffing myself with food I became more interested in exercise. I didn't actually do any, but now I can enjoy watching it for hours on end. Flab-B-Gone got me on the right track. Amtrak. I am more fit now, and there are lots of men around me! Where the hell did all these men come from and why are they eyeing my goodies?"

Big Mac, New York

"I tried some passive weight losing, you know, like thinking myself thin, but with little result. This terrible appetite for destruction would just kick in and spoil everything. Once I heard about Flab-B-Gone in the media, and I rather liked the information. I thought to myself, "Gosh, that information sure is spiffy. It would look great on the wall next to my paintings of sad clowns." I tried using it although it was a bit hard to open. I finally had to gnaw through the plastic. Luckily I'm pretty good at gnawing. So I started taking the things, and my wife said I'm a different person now. Apparently they alter your DNA. Now I look like Ross Perot and I think I'm lactating. Here it is, 4 months later. 30 pounds off and I keep losing them! At this rate I should be dead by Christmas. And you know, the bedroom thing is cool, too."

Some Guy, San Francisco

Flab-B-Gone helps your brain understand you don't need that much food. Some times your brain just needs a bit of help with these things. It improves your mood, gives you energy and attacks obesity with teeny-tiny flamethrowers. All thanks to its combination of natural ingredients like iron, plastic and petroleum!

---UPDATE: I just recieved this spam again today. Almost the same, down to "scen" in the headline. The only things different were the names attributed to the quotes. Hmmm.

Friday, August 04, 2006

I've had this week off and I decided to find out if I could buy a house. Turns out that I can. Most likely. So I've spent the last several days going through the financing, consolidating my student loans and checking out houses in my price range. We looked through 10 today and are going to see another 13-15 tomorrow. We've found three we like so far, with one narrowly in the lead. So, needless to say, I've been far too busy to draw. I'll be back at work on Monday, but I still have no idea when I'll have time again for drawing.