Twin Bro’s birthday present

Friday was my birthday. It was also Twin Bro’s birthday, of course, which meant that I’d be buying him a present. He’s notoriously hard to shop for, but he did mention needing some nice clothes.

I asked Liz for her input and got gems like these:

“Maybe you could buy his clothes at Target. Or you could buy them at IKEA if they sell clothes for grown-ups.”

“He needs to wear a blue shirt because blue is his favorite color. And he needs a tie that’s red and white striped like a candy cane, only it’s made out of clothing and it’s shaped like a tie! And he needs jeans and sneakers, too.”

After that comment, we realized that it would probably be better if a well-dressed gentleman gave us suggestions. I asked her if she knew anyone who could help:

“THE WIGGLES! They have nice clothes! We could ask the Wiggles what to buy! And since Jeff is small, then he could tell us where to buy small clothes. … But they wear the same Wiggles clothes all the time and maybe they don’t know where to buy normal clothes. HEY!! Maybe some of them have wifes! Their wifes could tell us where to buy clothes!”

“Maybe we could buy a magazine with mans doing a fashion show.”

“If you see a man with good clothes, you could say, ‘Awww! I like your clothes, they’re so cute! Where did you buyed them?’ And then he would tell you.”

Finally, after a few frustrating stops at department stores, I vented my frustrations to Liz. Not only did I not know how I wanted the clothes to look, I didn’t know Twin Bro’s exact size (with men’s dress clothes, “Small” apparently doesn’t cut it).

Liz said, “Well, then, you have to say ‘Sorry I didn’t buyed you a present, but I don’t know what size clothing you wear. So could I please measure you and then buy you some clothing later? I have a tape measure at my house in my toolbox.’ And then he would say thank you.”

So, that’s pretty much what I’m doing. Twin Bro gets new clothes after I take his measurements, and he gets the final say on what he’ll be wearing.