Chuck Steel : Raging Balls of Steel Justice

Cast

Chuck Steel

Maverick, renegade, loose cannon, lone wolf, cop on the edge who doesn’t play by the rules and officially the ‘best Goddamn cop on the force’, Chuck Steel is a decorated ex special forces operative with a mysterious hidden past. There are rumors he was raised by wolves, then tutored in the ways of the Ninja by a group of Shaolin monks until he was ready to punch the whole world in the face, one asshole at a time. It is widely accepted that this anecdote is most likely bullshit.

Jack Schitt

Captain of the police force and long suffering boss of Chuck Steel. When not reprimanding Chuck by screaming at the top of his lungs, two inches from his face, Jack likes to worry himself into an early grave over whether or not the Governor/Mayor/Commissioner is going to chew him a new asshole as it really makes his eyes water.

Maloney

A likeable but utterly dim cop of Irish American descent, Maloney is often referred to in the precinct as ‘a fucking idiot’ or occasionally ‘a fat walking air biscuit’. He likes to think it’s meant in jest. It isn’t.

A55 Autocop (aka Assface)

Created by the Government as a cheaper alternative to actual human cops, the A55 Autocop is regarded as the ‘Future of Law Enforcement’ by those who conceived him. By everyone else he is regarded as a sex pest, trash can on wheels who can’t stop banging the filing cabinet. After a disastrous first outing, he is currently being used as an umbrella stand.

Bernie Bergerstein

A city banker who made his fortune dealing in those little windmill things on sticks you get at fairgrounds. Also responsible for the collapse of four of the five financial institutions he was in charge of although no charges were brought against him. He owns 58 Lambourghinis, a solid gold house on the moon and nine pianos…made entirely of ivory and blood diamonds.

Maniac

The leader of the escaped convicts, responsible for 17 murders, 28 armed robberies, punching a horse in the kidneys and spray-painting a large phallus on the side of a bus – all before the age of twelve. After a lengthy stay in a hotel, er, I mean prison, he briefly attempted to rehabilitate by getting a job in telesales, but even he has some standards.