"Funny, we know more about Salacious Crumb, Jabba the Hutt's little monkey lizard from Return of the Jedi, than we do about the life of William Shakespeare. We know that he has a middle name. We know the names of the people in Jabba's employ who dislike him and have tried to kill him. We know that he often danced to the music of Max Rebo's band. We're not 100% sure that William Shakespeare was a real person, but we know exactly when and how Salacious Crumb stowed away on Jabba's ship, was caught eating Jabba's food, and forced to perform as a court jester or be killed. And you thought he was just a shrieky little loser. He supposedly has a middle name - even Harry Truman didn't have one of those.