Carnival of bodies and minds it was. Jostling through the crowd, elbowing my way around I found myself in a veritable pot-pourri of decadence and unabashed exhibitionism of all that one had; wearing it on their sleeve- nothing mysterious left.
Transfixed I watched the night crowd as it weaved its way in the autumn air, swirling around, carrying the passions of the multitude, swallowing everythingunpleasant coming in its way and devouring any smallest hint of cynicism.
Supercilious glances caught me unaware as I ambled on looking for that familiar face in the crowd, that easy smile leading to a dimpled chin and a taciturn demeanour.
Like a half-forgotten memory wisp, the glory of that dalliance came floating in making me catch my breath and hold it there.
Snatches of conversation floated in around me but didn’t register anywhere in my mind as I wandered looking for that face that had transfixed me in its aura a long time back.
The drone of chattering, laughter, moaning and screaming rolled around- ebbing and flowing like a great tidal wave. The moon stood out brighter than usual and led me on like a guiding light. He couldn’t be far away.
Under the street lamp, with his back to the crowd he stood blowing his cigarette, the wisp of smoke curling up and hanging there in silence, waving a smoke signal. Nothing around him seemed to faze him. He didn’t care who came and went; who stayed or left and who sought him or not, in the carnival. His was a world of his own, nurtured in a way that included only him and his air of ‘self’ that hung around him; tethered to his indulgent mind. Absolved of reciprocation and its pangs he stood there and just waited to be sought. As I watched from a distance the carnival got louder. I waited for him to turn around and begin a long conversation that would stretch into the night, as the stars winked on and the night air became heavier with anticipation.
The swirling smoke above his head hid him in its opaqueness. As I crossed the road and made my way between the sea of people, I lost sight of the smoke and him leaning against the lamp. My eyes wandered around searching, hoping and waiting. I was swept away by the crowd and he was nowhere.
I held my breath.
I awoke.
The dream was gone…

You place marbles on a board, tightly packed and remove one from the pack and move around the rest in the board watching them all shoving and bumping into each other. Quite random a motion it seems trying to fit into that empty space claiming ownership of that little area that just belonged to someone else. At some point it could also be construed as a dynamic equilibrium since the empty space is filled up only to let the neighboring spot free which immediately gets filled up by another. Quantum physics was never my forte. I was referring to traffic chaos.So between the two it is hard to pick the right one that fits the physics of the concept but seriously all we need to do is put 4 signal lights at an intersection and watch the whole plot collapse since that would add an extra variable and lead to confusion from pre-determined movements.

What used to be a random motion will get too organized and the resulting scenario would be unpredictable and an invitation to death. When a system is so used to flowing naturally taking its own course, throwing a spanner in the spokes of the wheel is catastrophic and insane. For Example a traffic signal!Some systems are not very equipped to handle such organized flows since they are used to the ‘Chaos Theory’ right from the word GO; as in acquired learning and reflexes. And along the way subtle sensory notes are picked up to keeps it that way without messing up the wired memories enabling them to extricate themselves out of the clutter. So may be signal lights aren’t the way to go.Place a policeman instead. But chances are that he may get run over by the very same traffic he is trying to streamline. He might also get dismembered by the street racers for who getting from the START to FINISH is very important and not the means of getting there. Who said ‘it’s the journey and smelling the roses that is important and not just the destination’?An occasional cow or a mangy dog that escapes the confines of the pound or the doghouse could very well be the ‘speed check’ not to mention those life threatening speed bumps that are meant to break your back and not the speed. Occasionally one might get thrown out of the vehicle one is riding in/on. But that’s OK after all we are a very enduring species with nine lives.

Traffic rules are meant to be broken and are not for the dynamic ‘man on the go’. He has promises to keep and places to go. The laggards can follow traffic rules. After all they are the ‘slow-mo’ who haven’t been able to keep up with our dynamic changing economy and fast paced life.So while I am deep in meditation waiting for an epiphany- figuring out the chaos theory of Bangalore traffic, life goes on…

The silence at the end of the day.. . Crickets chirping breaking the stillness around. An occasional night bird calling out…in the dark when one can hear thoughts loud and clear; which were stilled by the constant cacophony of ‘living’ during the day…. Chain of thoughts stay connected waiting to give it wings and maybe flutter around on the pages akin to a brush on a canvas. Oh! I love the ending of a day…

Strange is your silence and stranger still are your ways. Like wind-blown leaves your dreams float by, transient and then stops a mile away. Stretched hands grasp the air and let’s go the scent yet again. Your shadow I watch running before you- then erased. Had I known it was this magical I would have held it in my palm like a song; closed it in a fist like a beam and danced through the mellifluous tunes as it singed my soul leaving an indelible sign!
So, I walk leaving you in your living ; lured by tragic eyes. When you reach those heights remember me in passing. Somewhere there a thought had strayed. Somewhere in its wake fluttered a seed of hope that lost its way and buried in the sands of time…