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About Me

Ah, you don't really want to know, do you? You do? Gosh, how flattering. Well, I'm me, obviously. I'm a writer, baker of inedible cakes, mother of an indeterminate number of children (they keep moving, it's hard to count), dog owner, cat slave. Occupier of a crumbly old place in the crumbly old countryside in Yorkshire. And merciless self-publicist.

Sunday, 31 August 2014

A few wintery things to look forward to...

Sigh. It's nearly September already, and we all know that means it's practically Christmas, and that the next time we look up it's going to be dark, and probably 2015. And, since winter is quite clearly the longest season EVER, and manages to last at least sixteen months of any twelve month period, I thought we should take this opportunity to look forward to some of the more pleasant things about winter.

No, me neither.

Oh, no, wait, I've got one. Winter is the only time you can legitimately, and without being ill, retire to your bed at 5.15 pm with a well-angled lamp and a packet of cashew nuts, to read a book.

Try doing this at the height of summer and you will a) be constantly disturbed by the feral pack of local five year olds playing 'kick the can around the street and yell at the tops of our voices', b) spend at least half your time wondering whether you're missing something more exciting that may be going on downstairs - barbeques, ice cream runs, visits to local places of interest and c) boiled.

There is something about nights that start at 4pm, when you draw the curtains to block out the sight of the cats' faces pressed against the window as they try to claw their way back indoors, despite the fact that they have a perfectly comfortable bed in the garage which is, not to put too fine a point on it, several degrees warmer than the inside of the house. Making a mug of hot chocolate - merely, we all understand, a vehicle for the whipped cream and marshmallows, but a mug of whipped cream and marshmallows alone does tend to attract stares and clicked tongues, and taking it upstairs. Settling oneself under a snuggly duvet and on top of an electric blanket which has been switched on to maximum at least an hour earlier and is currently causing your valence to smoke.

Not dissimilar to this, but with more dust, fur, dropped clothing, paperwork and books

Getting yourself into the perfect position under the duvet, so that enough of you sticks out to make turning the pages possible without an arctic-level of draught getting in and to gain access to the hot chocolate.

And possibly listening to either the wind, snow or rain falling outside.

14 comments:

Bella Osborne
said...

Great blog post Jane - I can almost feel the temperature dropping a couple of degrees.Blogs are great for revealing little snippets about people and sometimes there is a huge shock - You have a valence?!It's alright I'll be OK in a minute. I'm just concerned that you may have doilies lurking somewhere too?You know the younger readers have gone off to google valence and most likely are now looking at pages about the 1970s or pictures of Downton Abbey?Anyway, you make a good point we have had the last bank holiday until Christmas for the UK it is all paper chains and crackers from here on! Only 116 sleeps to Christmas!... Did I say paper chains? Oh well it will probably come up in the same search as valence and doilies!

I did use the phrase 'your valence'. I suppose it should have been 'one's valence' since I am not, currently, the possessor of a valence. Neither do I entertain pelmets. And I wouldn't know what to do with a doily.. although I've got a few ideas, she muttered darkly...

Ok this is spooky. We've just changed the valence sheet on our bed. Brill post Jane. Definitely the mug of hot chocolate in front of the tv with finally decent stuff on. Dr Who has been missed a LOT. I look forward to September mainly because of the children going back to school and life gets back to abnormal.

Oooh I love winter approaching! Crispy leaves to wade through then Halloween, mischief night (well, maybe not),bonfire night, CHRISTMAS!!! snow, frosty walks, and the lawn doesn't need mowing! By the way, you don't have antimacassars do you? - if not I'm sure a valance could be overlooked if you decided to get one.

Great post! I definitely have problems with the onset of winter. Like Sally, I enjoy wearing woolly jumpers, but ideally, not five at once, which is what's required in our house. Chris' comment strikes a chord!

Firstly, I apologise if this comment appears twice, I have no idea what's going on and can only assume that my blog has developed a stammer of sorts.

Secondly - grebe, I do NOT possess a valance! I cannot stress that too firmly. And antimacassars are not tolerated in this house... We are fully in favour of macassar, we would stand up and protest for macassar if we could.

Chris and Clare - yep, this is a many jumpered household too. Hence the electric blanket. But NOT THE VALENCES WHICH I DO NOT HAVE!!

Haha I'm a bit late reading this and we are well into autumn with winter waiting in the wings to make a surprise visit at some point. Just wanted to say it fills me with great joy to know its not just me that lives in a cold house and I can fully appreciate the five jumper comment.