I am such a fool. On reflection, what I should have done was reach across, grab it, snaffle it out in my trouser pocket and take it home to flog on eBay. David &quot;Bumble&quot; Lloyd&rsquo;s pork steak, I mean. It&rsquo;s not as if he wanted it.

First it promised a "barbecue summer" that brought little but rain. Then came the "mild winter" which turned out to be one of the coldest in 31 years. Now the Met Office is simply scrapping its long-term seasonal forecasts.

Given that the great British barbecue is usually a washout – a provocation to the gods to be as vicious as possible – Met Office predictions that we were in for "a barbecue summer" may have been more accurate than people give credit for.

The barbecue's lit, the drinks are on ice and the living is easy... so why not lie back and let the IoS critics take care of the music with their favourite 50 tracks to make your holidays go with a swing.