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Lim Backs Out of Manila Mayoralty Race. Buys House In San Juan.

MANILA, Philippines — Sensing defeat even before the race has started, incumbent Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim announced that he would not be seeking reelection next year; thus giving way to rumored mayoralty bet and former President Joseph Ejercito Estrada, along with his rumored running mate, incumbent Vice Mayor Isko Moreno.

“We should quit while we’re still ahead,” said Lim in his statement. “Alam naman natin gaano kalakas ang hatak nyang si kwan, si Erap sa masa, nakita natin yan nung nakaraang eleksyon. Dagdagan mo pa ng isang sidekick na si Isko Moreno, tapos na ang boksing (We all know how strong of an attraction Erap has on the masses, as evidenced by the results of the last election. Add to that a sidekick named Isko Morena, and the boxing match is over).”

Lim made the announcement on the heels of news that Erap bought a house in Sta. Mesa, Manila and was planning to move there on the 12th of this month, in preparation for next year’s election.

Estrada admitted that he bought the property as part of his plans to run for mayor of Manila.

Under the law, a mayoral candidate must be a resident of the city or municipality a year before the elections. (from ABS-CBN News)

Not to be outdone, the 82-year-old Lim made another shocking announcement when he revealed that he too has bought a house in San Juan and plans to run for mayor there next year. “May nabili akong bahay dyan sa may a…. Greenhills, may swimming pool at mga puno din (I bought a house somewhere in…. Greenhills, it also has a swimming pool and lots of trees),” narrates Lim. “Malapit lang yung bahay dyan sa ano, atska dun sa kwan. (The house is nearby this and that).”

According to Lim, he plans to move in there as early as next week, so as to comply with the law regarding the residency of a mayoral candidate. “Nailipat na yung rocking chair, kaha de yero at yung arinola kahapon (The rocking chair, steel vault and portable urinal was brought there yesterday).”

“Ipapa-tour ko din kayo dyan sa bahay ko. Aayusin ko lang yung kwan, para hindi nakakahiya sa mga bisita (I’ll let you tour my house soon. I just have to fix some things so as not to be embarrassing to guests),” said Mayor.

As of now, Lim still doesn’t have a running mate to be his Vice Mayor, but admits that his door is open to anyone. When asked if he was confident about his chances of winning in San Juan, Lim answered with a very confident “yes.”

San Juan is known to be the bulwark of the Estrada family.

“He might be confident now, but he might not be so anymore when he finds out who my running mate next year is,” said incumbent San Juan Mayor Guia Gomez, winking at this author while holding up an iconic red Hawaiian shirt. Smiling in agreement behind her is San Juan Rep. JV Ejercito.

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What is “So, What’s News” again?

So, What’s News? is a SATIRICAL & FICTIONAL news website. Our aim is to inject humor into everyday news to provide respite to readers who have grown weary with mainstream news organization’s partisan, biased and depressing way of presenting the news.