Name

Year

Credit

credited As

Oh em Glee! I literally just finished this weeks’ all-new episode. My mind is a whirlwind, my heart is pounding, and inspired by the episode, I’m currently wearing a tiara. (Side-Note: I love my job.) “Feud” was filled with so many amazing moments that it’s arguably one of the best episodes of the season. Get excited Glee-bees, because I’m about to fill you in on everything you may have missed (and more!) from “Feud.”
So Here’s What You Missed On Glee
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: All Your Favorite Movies in One Emotional Episode
(Former) Student v. Teacher: The episode opens and we see three stern-faced Glee seniors — Artie, Tina and Blaine — sitting in front of Will and Finn recalling the tension-filed moments they’ve witnessed over the past few weeks. From an unnecessary coffee run, to making Finn fetch his vests from the dry cleaner, and then belittling his former best man in front of the entire Glee club — It’s clear that Will is still absolutely furious at Finn for kissing Emma. (Side-Note: Okay yes, I acknowledge the fact that kissing someone’s fiancé is not okay, but we know that it wasn’t done out of passion or malice — Finn just freaked out and didn’t know what to do. If I was hysterically panicking and a hottie kissed me on the lips, that’d definitely do the trick.)
Finn finally explodes, “I can’t take it any more! It’s bad enough you’re treating me like your lackey but I’m not going to sit here while you fake compliment Ryder just to hurt me!” (Side-Note: I love how Finn hesitated before he kicked over that music stand. You know that when Glee club rehearsal ended, he probably just snuck back in there and picked up all the papers, and put them back in a nice stack because he’s sweet like that.) The seniors declare that for the first time in Glee club history the students are giving the teachers an assignment: epic musical feuds!
In the auditorium, Will is determined to take his aggression out through song, but Finn has a better, more mature suggestion: “We could just talk.” Will finally agrees saying that the only reason he put Finn in charge of the glee club is because he took pity on him. Will snarls, “So I put all this trust in you so you could get back on your feet and what do you do? You betray me in the worst way possible… so start thinking of some of the nastiest music feuds you can come up with because we are doing this assignment, and I’m going to kick your ass.” (Side-Note: Did anyone else just get kinda hot and bothered? No? Just me? Okay then…)
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Gets a Sitcom Makeover
Will and Finn have decided to portray two of the 90’s hottest feuding boy-bands: ‘N Sync and The Backstreet Boys. As the music starts, the girls go wild, and the two former friends launch into a mashup of “Bye Bye Bye” and “I Want It That Way.” (Side-Note: My ovaries are currently on overdrive. ‘90s music, mixed with angry Mr. Schue and smooth-moves Finn? Swoon is definitely an understatement right now.) The song ends and Finn is ready to hug out their differences but Will is not ready to let go. So Finn decides to be the bigger man and kindly says, “For whatever it’s worth, thanks for everything.”
At night, Finn is clearing out his things from his office and Marley shows up to give him a card and to thank him for everything he has done for her. She then bluntly says the best advice ever, “Dude, you really need to grow a pair.” Marley encourages Finn to ignore the fact that Mr. Schue does not want him to teach the glee club anymore. She says if he really wants to be a teacher, then the answer is clear: go be one. (Side-Note: Attention Finn-lovers! I think our fella may have finally just realized his dream. Cue the applause!)
NEXT: A Cheertastrophy and Internet Insanity!
A Cheertastrophy: Coach Sue calls Blaine into her office and reveals that when he joined the cheerios earlier that year — for one episode that is — he signed a contract. Although the signature is a fake, Sue claims that she needs a “shining, non-threatening gay to hoist up some of the most gorgeous girls in America, over his head, have a birds-eye view of their baby oven and not be remotely interested.”
Blaine politely declines the offer and the camera finally pans over to reveal that Tina has been sitting there the whole time. She politely tells Sue, “If you need me back, I guess I can do it.” Unfortunately for Tina, Sue quickly squashes her suggestion snapping, “You’re dismissed, go find a new boyfriend maybe Lance Bass is available or RuPaul.” (Side-Note: Oh my gosh I feel so bad but I can’t stop laughing! I love Tina so much and even though I’m giggling right now, I’m still beyond bummed that she hasn’t really had the spotlight this season.)
Sue tells Blaine that if he does not re-join the Cheerios then she is going to make his life a living hell — and she means it! Not only does Sue gift Blaine, with cement-based hair gel, she also stole his identity, ruined his credit, and worst of all she hired a plane to pull a sign across the sky that reads, “Blaine is on the bottom.” (Side-Note: That’s not funny. At all. I’m actually pretty pissed right now. I don’t want to go into a whole rant about it, but this is one of the most offensive and degrading things that Glee has ever done to one of their characters and the fact that they are trying to pass it off as a light-hearted joke is just disgusting.)
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Planning Stevie Wonder Tribute — EXCLUSIVE
The two decide to battle it out as Nikki Minaj and Mariah Carey and Blaine begins a sweet — yet slightly boring — rendition of “I Still Believe.” Coach Sue then takes the stage with her crew of blonde wig-wearing Cheerios and raps out, “Super Bass.” Her performance also includes a black light, hot pink feathers and plenty of smiles. (Side-Note: Does anyone else cringe when Coach Sue smiles? It seems un-natural. Like when girls say, “Pssh! I’m not scared of spiders!” Sure. Whatever hun, we all know you’re lying!)
By a show of hands, Coach Sue overwhelmingly wins the Diva-off and Blaine is forced to be a full-fledged, uniform-wearing member of the cheerios. But little does Coach Sue know, this was all apart of the plan. Blaine smiles at Sam revealing, “I’m going to work from the inside and bring her down. By the time we graduate Sue Sylvester’s reign of terror will finally be over!”( Side-Note: Do what you gotta do Blaine — but it needs to be said: You look mighty fine in that uniform.)
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: the Craziest Most Sex-Filled Episode We’ve Ever Seen
Internet Insanity: Over in the library, Ryder is getting his flirt on… with a computer. That’s right, our dear dyslexic Ryder is typing away on those keys and pretending that he’s on a hot date with some cyber-chick. “Katie” is the “perfekt” girl to Ryder — she likes bears, French fries and considered them to be soul mates even though they’ve only known each other for a week. (Side-Note: Okay who else thinks Ryder’s about to be Catfished?!)
Ryder reveals to his new online crush that earlier that day Unique came up to him and verbally bitch-slapped him for kissing Marley. Ryder just stood there, channeling his inner jock and called Unique a “dude” — a term to which she took great offense to. Ryder’s keyboard companion suggests that he and Unique settle their feud through song.
Over in the hallway, it’s clear that tensions are still high between Marley and Jake. Little Puckeman reveals that Marley should have discouraged Ryder’s flirtations and not just brushed them aside. The two share a mature conversation and with a flutter of Marley’s eyes, and all is forgotten. However Jake is not quite ready to forgive his former best friend.
Marley sweetly states, “Do you trust me? Do you believe that I love you? Then it doesn’t matter who we talk to because no matter where I am, or what I’m doing, I’m with you.” (Side-Note: Squee! I love them. And I love that Glee did not rip them apart just yet. I also love all the little smiles that creep across Jake’s face. He looks like he’s a four-year-old who’s trying to keep a secret.)
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: Divas, Delusion, and Devastation
In the choir room, the music stars and a mashup of “The Bitch is Back/Dress You Up” fills the choir room as Ryder and Unique musically battle it out in front of everyone. (Side-Note: Unique is like 19 kinds of fierce in this performance and I love it! Fun-Fact: Alex Newell is exactly like that in person and every time we get together she brings out my inner diva and it’s amazing.)
The song continues and Unique passes out the most lovely party-favors ever: tiaras! (Side-Note:Those who follow me on twitter, know that I LOVE sparkly things, and tiaras are my favorite accessory. So basically right now it’s like the universe is kissing me on the cheek by mixing my two favorite things together.) When the song finishes, Unique is ready to end their feud as long as Ryder admits that she is a girl. Ryder scoffs, “Look I’m just so confused. Yesterday you were dressed as a boy, today you’re a girl. What bathroom do you use? Make up your mind.”
Unique storms off and Jake says what everyone was thinking, “You are a douchebag dude. In this room we can be whatever we want to be.” (Side-Note: I was about to say a joke about how Brittany can be a unicorn if she wants, but… what the hell?! Where’s Brittany?? And Sugar?! Oh my gosh! They must be checking on the time machine!! So happy right now…)
Ryder is once again talking with his Internet lady and she helps him realize that he was being an insensitive ass to Unique. (Side-Note: My words, not hers.) She then asks for another shirtless pic from Ryder and he instantly sends over a heart-filled photo from the Men of McKinley calendar. (Side-Note: Red flag! Red flag!! This girl cannot be trusted Ryder! Just because she constantly puts x’s and o’s at the end of her sentences does not mean that she’s a cute teenager. Creepy men trolling the Internet can easily add type sweet nothings into a chat room. Back away and run like hell!)
RELATED: ‘Glee' Recap: Slutty Barbie And Shirtless Men
Unique, Marley and Jake are all waiting in a classroom and we find out Ryder asked them all to get together. He apologizes to Marley for kissing her, to Jake for kissing his girl, and to Unique for being insensitive. Unfortunately, Unique had a horrible experience the other day when she was walking home from school. A group of popular girls chased after Unique calling her horrible names like, “Lady freak,” and bullied her with their laughter.
Marley, Jake, and Ryder agreed that they would walk Unique home everyday from now on. Kitty walks into the classroom saying she wants to do the same because believe it or not they’re friends. (Side-Note: God I love Kitty, I love Becca Tobin more, but Kitty is definitely a close second.) The Glee newbies then declare that they need to stick together, stop the fighting, and step up their game because next year it’s going to be up to them to lead the New Directions when the seniors have graduated. (Side-Note: Woah! That’s so weird to think about. Can you imagine the halls of McKinley without any of our originals walking around? Ugh I just got the chills and I don’t like this revelation one bit.)
NEXT: The Hottest Ass-Kicking of 2013!
Lies and Deceit: Cut to the New York side of things and we see that Santana is thumbing through some magazines in a clinic waiting room. (Side-Note: And looking all kinds of awesome in those boots I should add.) Rachel emerges into the room and whispers, “False alarm. I’m so happy, I’m so glad that this is all over with,” and the two friends share a sweet embrace. Rachel smiles, thanks Santana for taking her, and announces that she’s going skip on over to class. Not so fast little one!
Santana tells our little blueberry (Side-Note: Rachel looks awesome in that bright blue sweater — get it?) that she can’t just pretend that this never happened. “This is a wake-up call, this is an opportunity for you to take a hard look at the choices that you are making and where your life is heading. Starting with donkey face.” (Side-Note: Hmm. I totally got it last week when she called him “Plastic Man” but donkey face? True he’s yucky, deceitful, conceited, moronic, and all wrong for Rachel, but let’s be real, he’s not terrible to look at. Worst/best compliment ever, am I right?)
Over in a super swanky hotel we see that Brody introduces himself as “Gunner” and he looks a roomful of sad and sexually-challenged cougars who have resorted to paying men in exchange for intimacy. (Side-Note: Ahem. *Leanne clears her throat* Ladies and Gleeks, it’s officially official: Brody is a money-grubbing, old lady-pleasing, possibly STD-walking hoe fo’ sho!) In an attempt to make us feel bad for him, Brody reveals to another male escort that he needs this job to pay for his tuition. (Side-Note: Um no sorry. Then get a job at Starbucks, or a bar, or Abercrombie! — God knows you’d fit right in and you don’t even have to wear a shirt there! But don’t give us this B.S. that you need to be a hooker to get through NYADA.)
Brody then breaks into a tango-filled rendition of “How to Be a HeartBreaker” and seductively dances around with a woman who is looking like she is ready to lick his face at any moment. (Side-Note: I think this goes without saying, but I feel like I should clarify something for my younger readers: Prostitution is never the answer little ones! Please and thank you’s to remember to keep your lady bits to yourself.) And while Brody is accepting money from a Real Housewife-wannabe, Rachel is over in the loft singing along to the song, and pondering her true feelings.
RELATED: ‘Glee' Recap: Scandals, Shocks And Sadie Hawkins
Santana enters the loft and sees that Brody’s stuff is still there, meaning that Rachel has not reevaluated her life choices. Rachel claims that Brody explained everything and he’s working as a cater-waiter, but he was just too embarrassed to admit it. Unfortunately for Rachel, Santana’s “psychic Mexican third eye” is never wrong.
Santana confronts her saying, “I went to school with Rachel Berry, not this soggy mess of a woman that stands before me today going back and forth between your flop high school ex and that terrifying waiter with a pager. You need to stop and focus Berry.” (Side-Note: God I love Santana. This is exactly what my best friend and I do for each other. We tell each other, “Mirror” and then we reveal the brutal and honest truth to each other no matter how harsh it is. It’s the best way to get someone to see herself clearly. Love you best!) Santana then sneaks into the bathroom and steals Brody’s sexy-time pager.
Over at NYADA, Brody is teaching one of Cassie’s dance classes (Side-Note: Wait, so is she like gone for good? I didn’t even get to say goodbye!) when Santana magically appears in the doorway. Brody hurls a sling of insults at our Lima Heights lady, but she quickly adds to his list saying, “Another thing I am: a hardcore friend. Rachel and Kurt are my family and I can smell your sketchy-ness from here. So let me tell you how it’s going to be. You’re going to move out of our apartment tonight or I can dig a little deeper and destroy you.”
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: A Hot Mess Of Holiday Cheer
Santana then launches into a sexually charged, and perfectly choreographed version of “Cold Hearted.” (Side-Note: Everyone needs to stop what you’re doing!! Queen Naya is performing and flipping and gyrating and being practically perfect in every way.) She tells Brody to packs his bags and then walks out of the room like the devilish diva that we all know and love. Later that evening in the loft, Santana excitedly announces that she got a job at the Coyote Ugly bar. (Side-Note: Wanky!)
Kurt and Rachel tell Santana that they want her to move out and Miss Lopez launches into 30 seconds of pure verbal gold which I am now going to type out for you because it was that amazing: “Olsen twins let me tell you something: I have known you both for years, and I don’t like either of you 90 perfect of the time. In fact, you wide-eyed, keen painting approach of life makes my teeth hurt and my breasts ache with rage. But you know what? I have love for you. You’re my family and I haven’t lied to you in months. I’m smarter about other people than the both of you. You have to trust me.” Santa then steals Rachel’s comforter and Kurt’s pillow and leaves to go crash with Lena Dunham. (Side-Note: True Story.)
Over in another hotel room, Brody opens the door and walks into a dark room saying, “Good evening Vicky.” As he flips on the lights, he sees that “Vicky” is actually a smug-looking Santana. (Side-Note: Santana is flawless. That is all. The end.) Brody quickly begs, “You can’t tell Rachel please. I am not proud of this.” Santana quickly counters, “Save it. I think there’s someone more important that you should convince tonight.” All of the sudden, a furious-looking Finn walks out of the bathroom. (Side-Note: Oh. My. God. It’s official: Smoldering eyes Finn is now my favorite kind of Finn. Ever.)
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: Second Chances And New Romances
The Final Five: Brody quickly tries to explain himself but Finn doesn’t want to hear it. Finn calmly and quietly tells Brody, “Shut your mouth. After tonight, you’re a ghost. You disappear from her life forever. No goodbyes, nothing.” Brody fumbles saying that he loves Rachel, but Finn has an answer for that one too: “But she doesn’t even really know who you are. Yet.” Brody grabs Finn’s collar and tells him not to tell Rachel the truth, but clearly this was a very dumb move.
Without hesitating, Finn punches Brody square in the jaw. (Side-Note: This is the best scene. EVER. Yes, I understand that violence is never the answer, but I totally understand Finn’s outrage. The girl he’s in love with doesn’t know that her new boyfriend is a dirty, narcissistic, prostitute. I think that deserves a punch in the face, don’t you?)
The two men get into a full-on brawl in the hotel room and practically destroy everything in their path. Finn gets one last punch in before screaming at Brody through his furiously clenched jaw, “Stay away from my future wife!” (Side-Note: Holy freakin’ hell! That was the sexiest, most wonderfully amazing sentence that has ever been uttered in the history of Glee. You can’t tell me that didn’t make you squeal with delight and then swoon from Finn’s knight-in-shining armor behavior. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Finn Hudson: Out-shining all other men on TV since 2009.) This time Finn didn’t hesitate when he kicked over the mini-fridge when he stormed out of the room.
Back in Lima, the New Directions are having a la-dee-daa time singing, “Closer,” and Ryder asks his cyber sweetheart if the can meet. She then promptly signs offline without answering and he is left looking dumbfounded. (Side-Note: But let’s be real, we’re all still in a daze from that testosterone-filled tussle. Rather than watching the Glee kids end the episode with yet another “Look at us we’re friends again!” song, I’m just going to re-watch what I’m now declaring: The Hottest Ass-Kicking of 2013.)
Most Heartwarming Moment: Watching Finn scream, “Stay away from my future wife!” to Brody and realizing that Finchel is far from over.
Most Heartbreaking Moment: Seeing those girls, torment Unique on her walk up. Stand up to bullying and don’t ever let this happen to any of your friends!
Quotables:
“I ran into Lena Dunham at Barney’s and she told me that I could crash with her if I needed to so that’s cool, cuz she has two Golden Globes.” — Santana
“And that, ladies, gay, in-betweeners, and hag-for-life, is how it’s done.” — Coach Sue
”Olsen twins let me tell you something: I have known you both for years, and I don’t like either of you 90 perfect of the time. In fact, you wide-eyed, keen painting approach of life makes my teeth hurt and my breasts ache with rage. But you know what? I have love for you. You’re my family and I haven’t lied to you in months. I’m smarter about other people than the both of you. You have to trust me.” — Santana
”Stay away from my future wife!” — Finn
Oh my goodness! What did you think of “Feud”? Who do you think Ryder’s online girl really is? Are you happy to finally know the truth about Brody? What did you think of the hotel room brawl? Who else is loving Santana in NYC? Tell me everything in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: FOX(3)]
You Might Also Like:15 Oscar-Winning Nude ScenesTopanga's Revealing Lingerie Shoot: Hello '90s!

It’s been three weeks since Glee shocked audiences with the craziest, most sex-filled episode we’ve ever seen, and now it’s finally time to see the repercussions from our Valentine’s Day wedding reception. Is Rachel really pregnant? Can Will and Emma save their relationship? What do gingers smell like? All those questions and more will be answered in this movie-filled recap of “Girls (And Boys) On Film!” Be warned Glee-bees I've had about three cups of coffee so brace yourselves...
So Here’s What You Missed On Glee
Mashup Madness: The episode opens on a gravity defying number, with a tuxedo-clad Will and Emma singing Fred Astaire’s “You’re All the World to Me.” The screen quickly changes to black and white, and our star-crossed McKinley teachers begin twirling and two-stepping right-side up, upside-down, and side-to-side. (Side-Note: I absolutely love hearing Emma sing. It’s the same giddy feeling I get when I hear a baby kitten let out a teeny-tiny meow.)
As it turns out, all that fancy footwork was actually just a part of Will’s dream, and he awakes in a panic. The next day at glee club Will, obviously inspired by his midnight fantasy, announces their assignment for the week: movies. Will explains, “Everybody loves movies — they don’t just tell stories, they transport us to other worlds. They are inspirational and the help us escape from our day-to-day anxieties.” Kitty quickly quips, “Like getting left at the alter?” (Side-Note: First of all, oooh burn! And secondly, let’s leave the snarky make-fun-of-Mr.-Schue comments to Santana, okay little one? At least we know that her insults are rooted in love.)
RELATED: The Spice Girls Have Come to Glee! — Who’s Playing Who?
Will tells the group to choose their favorite songs from their favorite movies, but there’s a special twist: boys vs. girls mashups! (Side-Note: Gaaaaah! I’m having "Vitamin D" flashbacks and I’m absolutely loving it! Who else Googled the crap out of Quinn’s yellow dress after that episode aired? Ah the good ‘ol days…) Artie announces that he is moving into production on his first micro-budget feature — aka he’s making a movie y’all — and he offers starring roles to the team that wins the competition.
It’s here, it’s here! It’s finally here! Blaine and Brittany suggest to the group that it’s a bummer that the guys and the girls are automatically pinned against each other, so they suggest that the first number should include everyone. And with that, the music begins, the hallway clears, and Glee fans everywhere get a wave of chills because it’s Glee’s 500th musical number!
Blaine and Brittany lead the New Directions throughout the school with a fast-paced, smile-inducing, toe-tapping rendition of “Shout.” (Side-Note: This performance is the epitome of why I fell in love with Glee. It was fun, energetic, and filled with impressive dance moves and incredible voices. Plus, seeing Sugar booty pop on the library table is a soon-to-be GIF that I want to find and cherish forever. Oh, and big round of applause for Queen Brittany please!)
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Planning Stevie Wonder Tribute — EXCLUSIVE
Now it’s time for the boys to show off their testosterone-filled mashup. Blaine, Artie, and Joe take center stage wearing exact replicas of Tom Cruise’s pilot-suit from Top Gun, and begin singing a very badass version of “Danger Zone.” (Side-Note: Hells yes! I loved Tom Cruise before he got all jumpy on Oprah's couch. At least we all have him to thank for this pop-culture gem.)
All of the sudden Sam, Ryder, and Jake slide into the room wearing nothing but white dress shirts and socks — clearly they’re channeling Tom Cruise in Risky Business — and they begin a pumped up version of “Old Time Rock and Role.” (Side-Note: Okay, this is amazing! The songs blend so well together and I’m definitely a fan of boys without pants. The really funny thing is that their aviators and Ray Bans sunglasses make this performance about a bajillion times sexier. Swoon!)
The girls are in the bathroom getting all dolled up for their performance in their Marilyn Monroe inspired outfits when Kitty approaches Marley. “I have a confession to make. For the past six months I’ve said behind your back and in front of your face that you're poor, and you're fat, and mousy, and boring, and you dress like Zach Galifianakis.” Kitty apologizes adding, “We’re both dating Puckermans, and someday we’ll be sisters-in-law and hanging out with Jews together.” (Side-Note: Love that plan! Can you imagine their awkward family Thanksgivings?)
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: the Craziest Most Sex-Filled Episode We’ve Ever Seen
Marley lets down her guard and confesses to a finger-crossing Kitty that Ryder kissed her on Valentine’s Day. Kitty then offers Marley the greatest advice that every girl ever should hear: “Boys are like lumps of coal. They're dirty and they’re cheap and they get hot when they're rubbed. And some turn into diamonds. So collect as many as you can.” (Side-Note: Could this quote be any more perfect? I think I’ve found my new life motto — well, for my twenties at least. Keep in mind ladies, this little ditty only applies to boys and good men are completely different. Cough! Finn Hudson. Cough!)
The girls break into their rendition of “Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend” mashed up with Madonna’s “Material Girl” — complete with hot pink dresses, gloves, and sexy black fans. (Side-Note: Nope! Not fair! They’re singing a mashup that’s already been featured in Moulin Rouge! Plus this performance was kind of awkward at points, I don’t really know how to describe why — but we all know it was.)
NEXT: A Grand Gesture and a Sultry Secret!
Go Get Your Girl: On the day that the mash-off is announced, Finn pulls Will aside and asks if he’s had any luck on locating his MIA bride, but unfortunately Emma has channeled her inner-meerkat and is currently hiding out at an unknown location. (Side-Note: Now imagine Emma’s bushbaby eyes peeping out of a hole and don’t try to tell me you’re not smiling!) Will thanks Finn for his concern, but he thinks it’s best to just give Emma some space and if she really wants to be with him, she’ll come back on her own.
Finn, determined to ease his guilt from kissing Emma, asks Artie to help him track down Ms. Pillsbury for Mr. Schue. So the two friends do what anyone would do: they put on red wigs, ask Emma’s parents to come down to the school, and pretend to be two members of the “Stop Ginger Bullying Club.” (Side-Note: McKinley has so many bizarre clubs, it’s only a matter of time before this becomes a real thing.) After revealing that gingers smell like pennies, red-headed Finn convinces Emma’s parents to give them the address of where Emma is staying.
Finn rushes to tell Will that he needs to go to Emma and make a big romantic gesture in order to win her back. The next thing we know, Will is standing outside of Emma’s sister’s house singing a swoon-worthy version of “In Your Eyes.” The New Directions soon join him, and the music lures Emma out of bed and over to the window. (Side-Note: Gaaah! Be still my Wemma-loving heart. This feels like the couple I fell in love with back when they first kissed in the hallway. Will sounds amazing; it’s like this song was meant for him. However, I still can’t believe that Will still has that same crappy car.)
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: Divas, Delusion, and Devastation
Emma apologizes for shutting Will out, and says that she couldn’t explain because she’s not even sure that she understands what happened. Will makes it easy for her and says, “If you were to write yourself a pamphlet, what would it be called?” Emma thinks for a moment and responds with, “So You’re Freaking Out Because The Man You’re About to Marry Parades Back Into Town and You Don’t Think You Know Him Anymore.”
The duo decides they need to start from scratch and see if they can get to know each other all over again. (Side-Note: Well this is just a big fat bummer. Wemma lovers out there have been rooting for this couple for four years and now they’re back to square one? I guess we should be glad that they’re still together, but come on!)
RELATED: ‘Glee' Recap: Slutty Barbie And Shirtless Men
A Sultry Secret: The next day, Marley enters an art classroom to find an adorable looking Jake standing there waiting for her. Little Puckerman confesses to her that all of the sweet gifts and moments he gave her last week on Valentine’s Day were actually Ryder’s ideas.
To make up for his lack of V-Day creativity, Jake had set up an exact replica of the pottery scene from Ghost, and he proceeded to sing a flawless version of “Unchained Melody.” (Side-Note: Oh my goodness this scene is giving me chills! Jake’s voice is absolutely phenomenal, and the scene is charged with so much electricity I keep expecting to see little sparks burst every time they touch.)
Unfortunately Marley cannot get Ryder out of her sweet little head, and the song switches from Jake to Ryder and back-and forth as the best friends battle it out in her mind. Marley’s daydreams even include a super steamy kiss with Ryder. (Side-Note: Oh yeah, it must totally suck to have two perfect fellas vying for your attention. Your life is just sooo difficult right now Marley. In other news, the closest relationship I’m currently involved in is with the checkout guy at Trader Joes who doesn’t scoff at the fact that I buy four bottles of wine at a time. I love you, Stephen!)
The song ends and a doe-eyed Marley confesses that Ryder kissed her last week, and to make matters worse, she let him. Jake is clearly furious, and he leaves the room without saying a single word. (Side-Note: Well at least Marley was the one to break the news to Jake. It would have been a trillion times worse had Kitty been the one to happily reveal the scandalous secret.)
NEXT: Santana’s Super Snark/The Episode’s Best Moments
Cabin Fever: Santana is looking out a window of the loft, and in a lovely twist, we hear her inner monologue. “My first real week in New York and I’m snow-bound in Bushwick with a bunch of musical theater queens.” So here’s the sitch: Adam and Kurt are giggling in the kitchen, Brody is working, and Rachel is in the bathroom. (Side-Note: Adam, please see yourself out. Blaine’s face is cuter than your accent. And hey Brody, when Adam says you’re “working,” does that mean you're working the pole or do you only whore yourself out in hotel rooms? Yes ladies and Gleeks, I have officially reached full-on snark with these boys. Get ready.)
NYADA cancelled all of their classes because of the snow, and the group is currently going through a case of cabin fever because Santana and Rachel are bickering like two Chihuahuas in a crate. Kurt suggests they watch a movie, and from Santana’s DVD suggestions — Knocked Up, Rosemary’s Baby, and She’s Having a Baby — it’s clear our favorite Lima Heights lady has caught on to Rachel’s current bun-in-the-oven issue.
Kurt, clearly oblivious as to what is going on, chooses Moulin Rouge as their snowed-in selection. Suddenly, we’re transported to a roof, neon lights are all around, and a very dapper looking Blaine walks out onto the smoke-filled floor. (Side-Note: Totally serious right now: the song hasn’t even started and I just completely burst into tears. This is one of my all-time favorite songs and you all know how much I cherish this couple.)
RELATED: ‘Glee' Recap: Scandals, Shocks And Sadie Hawkins
As Blaine begins singing “Come What May,” the scene cuts away to flashbacks of the couple’s most memorable moments. (Side-Note: Oh God! Now there are flashbacks too?! Holy crap I am dying right now. And for those of you that don’t quite understand, this is the equivalent to the “Flower Scene” for Klaine fans right now.) Kurt and Blaine slow dance together and create perfect harmonies with their voices before ending in a super sweet embrace.
Kurt’s daydream ends, and we see that he’s sitting on the couch next to Adam and he has tears in his eyes. He quickly blames the waterworks on his non-existent contacts, when Santana reveals the truth to an overly gullible Adam: “I would’ve thought that you were crying because you and Blaine used to talk about how this was your dream to sing this song to each other at your wedding.” (Side-Note: I never ever ever want Santana to leave my TV screen ever again. Let's have her start reading the morning news too!)
Oh but the bluntness doesn’t stop there! Santana stands up and shares what’s really been on her mind, saying “That Brody character is a freaking psycho.” (Side-Note: This! This right here is what I’ve been waiting for! Please continue Miss Lopez…) “When I first met him, totally thought he was weird. He smelt all talcumy like a Cabbage Patch Doll and then he said that I wasn’t a real New Yorker until I’ve had my first makeover and I was like, ‘What does that even mean? Like who are you?’” (Side-Note: I haven’t been this giddy since Kurt yelled at Brody for putting his bare ass on his vintage flea market chair)
Santana explains that she was willing to look past all this, but then she found a giant wad of money — $1,200 in cash to be exact — hidden in Brody’s things. Oh yeah, fun-fact: Santana likes to root through other people’s stuff, it’s kind of like a glorious panty-raiding hobby. In her quest to figure out what he was up to, Santana also found a pager. (Side-Note: Hi little ones, I’ll help you out. A “pager” is a magical device that was used before cell phones when you wanted to alert someone that you wanted to talk to them. Isn’t history fun?!) Santana declares that given the evidence, Brody is a drug-dealer. (Side-Note: Nope. Unless he’s dealing steroids and Muscle Milk, I’m gonna go ahead and stick with my original guess: Brody’s a hoe fo’ sho.)
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: A Hot Mess Of Holiday Cheer
Kurt is in a NYADA classroom practicing his pirouettes when Adam lurks into the doorway saying, “What’s shaking bacon?” (Side-Note: Ugh just stop. You’re not funny and you look like you’re 45.) Adam asks Kurt about “Come What May,” and adds that he still loves Blaine and questions if he was just a rebound. (Side-Note: Kurt may have said no, but I sure as hell screamed yes.) Kurt admits that he desperately wants to be over Blaine, and Adam takes that as a sign that they should go to the movies, watch a sappy love flick and claim that as their movie. Luckily for Klaine fans everywhere, Kurt looks hesitant at this suggestion.
A happy-to-be-in-NYC Santana enters the loft to find Rachel sitting on the couch, looking thoroughly depressed and alone. So, naturally, she takes this opportunity to discuss what she found in Rachel’s bathroom trash: a used pregnancy test. Rachel quickly denies the whole thing telling Santana, “You had no right,” but then in a matter of seconds our beloved Miss Berry bursts into tears.
Fans quickly see a brand-new side to Santana as she hugs her sobbing friend and whispers that everything is going to be okay. (Side-Note: So I was recently alerted to the fact that Rachel and Santana’s (friend)shipper name is Pezberry. So first of all I absolutely love that! Also, I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited to see Rachel with a friend. I feel like these two are going to be such a great pair together and I can’t wait for more!)
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: Second Chances And New Romances
The Final Five: Mr. Schue reveals the big winners of the annual girls vs. boys mashup competition, and no surprise here it’s… everyone! The room bursts into outraged comments, and the students claim how unfair it is while Ryder smashes an unknown object in the back of the room. (Side-Note: I feel like this is a little league baseball game where the finale score was Boys: 27 - Girls: 4, but everyone gets a trophy because the coaches don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. They can’t all be winners, Mr. Schue!) Artie explains that they all won because he wants the entire group to be involved in his senior project film, “Hollywood Hootenanny.”
Will then asks Finn to step out into the hallway saying, “Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy mopes around and sits on his ass until his best man helps save the day.” Will thanks Finn for encouraging him to win Emma back, and just when we think everything is going to be just peachy, Finn asks if Emma mentioned him at all. Will looks puzzled before Finn blurts out, “Because I kissed her.” Finn quickly explains his logic and how he tried to calm her down by locking lips, and apologizes profusely to his best friend and mentor.
Finn exclaims, “Go ahead and just punch me or whatever because I deserve it. I am so sorry.” However, Will just stands there, glaring at him before silently walking away. (Side-Note: Wow. Just when I thought that Finn had reached emotional perfection in the “I Do” episode, he gives us this amazing scene. I think Finn handled this situation with as much maturity and tact as he could, and kudos to Cory for making our eyes well up with tears.)
The episode ends with a fancy-footwork, high-energy version of “Footloose.” All you really need to know is that there is glitter and at one point Brittany takes off her sneaker in a fit of joy. See you next week Glee-bees!
RELATED: 'Glee' Recap: Sectionals, Slaps, And Second Chances
Most Heartwarming Moment: Finally seeing Kurt and Blaine singing “Come What May” to each other.
Most Heartbreaking Moment: Watching Rachel hysterically breakdown in Santana’s arms.
Quotables:
“You don’t get dibs on Les Mis just because you are the poster” — Kitty to Marley
“We should do The Artist so we don’t have to sing!” — Sugar to the girls.
“Where is Rachel anyways? Giving that living mannequin a bikini wax?” — Santana
“Moulin Rouge bitches! We love those dancing hoes!” — Kurt
“Oh okay, I like how you guys pretend to be all accepting about everything, but when your friend suddenly shows up in your home, moves in, and goes through all your stuff, you’re offended?” — Santana
“Boys are like lumps of coal. They're dirty and their cheap and they get hot when they're rubbed. And some turn into diamonds. So collect as many as you can.” — Kitty to Marley
What did you think of “Girls (And boys) On Film”? Do you think Rachel’s really pregnant? What did you think of Finn’s confession to Mr. Schue? Sing your thoughts in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: Adam Rose/FOX(3)]
From Our Partners:Kim Kardashian's Maternity Style: So Wrong? (Vh1)60 Celebrity Bikini Bodies: Guess Who! (Celebuzz)

This week’s episode of Glee, was absolutely, 100 percent ridiculously wonderful. I have a lot to say, so I’m not going to waste any more of your precious Glee-loving time with a long intro. From cold feet to hot bedroom scenes, I’m here to catch you up on everything you may have missed and more in, “I Do.”
So Here’s What You Missed On Glee
Pre-Wedding Craziness: The episode opens in the most perfectly wonderful way: Finn and Rachel are together! (Side-Note: Currently writing my thank you notes to cupid for bringing these two together for Valentine’s Day. Who needs love when you can obsess over a fictional couple that lives in your TV screen, amiright?) The Lima Bean is decked out in Valentine’s Day décor and a distraught-looking Finn thanks Rachel for agreeing to meet with him.
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: Divas, Delusion, and Devastation
Rachel launches into an explanation of why Brody is not there with her, but Finn quickly cuts her off, admitting the one thing that made millions of Gleeks gasp last week: “I kissed Miss Pillsbury.” A surprisingly cool and compassionate Rachel calms Finn down and says, “What you did, it wasn’t great. But I get it, you were confused and lonely and I’m sure that knowing that Brody and I are living together, it set you off.” To which Finn snaps, “Not everything is about you.” Rachel advises her former flame to channel his acting skills, keep his mouth shut and be the best best man he can for Mr. Schue. (Side-Note: Oh my God it’s only been two minutes and this episode is already amazing!)
Emma’s inner anguish is pouring out as she is trying to figure out the seating chart for the wedding, when Finn enters her office. Emma is in a full-blown OCD panic and tells Finn that he needs to “get over it” and pretend like nothing happened. “Look, when I get on that alter and I make my solemn vow for the second, and I hope the very last time, standing right behind my husband will be his best man. That’s you, the guy who thought it was okay to kiss me a week before my wedding. The guy who is forcing me to lie to my fiancé. And if you really want to help me then just keep a wide berth and keep your mouth shut.” (Side-Note: Holy crap! I get that you’re freaking the eff out right now Emma, but I’ve just got to say it: you didn’t look that upset the second after Finn’s lips touched your last week. And no one can blame you, have you seen that tall glass of sexy?)
Will obliviously enters the room and whisks Finn away to glee club practice, leaving Emma alone and shaking like a tiny Chihuahua. Will announces to the New Directions that he’d like them to be the entertainment at the reception and asks Finn to sing for him, in lieu of giving his best man speech. (Side-Note: That’s great that you want your students to perform, but come on Will — open up that wallet and pay for a deejay. Let the kids enjoy your wedding.)
RELATED: ‘Glee' Recap: Slutty Barbie And Shirtless Men
Jarley is walking down the hall and Marley is looking like she’s about to pee her panties with excitement. She presents Jake with an early Valentine’s Day gift — a pair of homemade and totally awesome typewriter button cufflinks — and scampers off to class with a spring in her step and a smile on her face. Ryder realizes that Jake needs some help coming up with the perfect gift for his girl, and promises to help his best bro give Marley the best Valentine’s week ever. (Side-Note: Um, hi Ryder. Here’s my heart. I just really really want you to have it. Mmkay thanks bye.)
An hour late and one spray tan later, Rachel meets Finn in the auditorium to help him find the perfect best man song. (Side-Note: No Rachel, you’re doing it wrong! Getting sprayed with cold orange, goo is not a way to spend your afternoon. Singing with your hot ex-boyfriend is how you should be spending your time. Sigh. When will you learn?)
RELATED: ‘Glee' Recap: Scandals, Shocks And Sadie Hawkins
To calm Finn’s worries, Rachel suggests that they perform a duet at the reception. Finn unleashes a devilish smile and says, “I think the real issue here is whether or not you can handle singing with me, we do have some pretty intense musical chemistry.” Rachel then admits that Finn looks really cute, bites her bottom lip, and says that she’ll pick out a song. (Side-Note: Don’t try and hide it Rachel, we all know what you’re thinking…)
Over in Mr. Schue’s history class (Side-Note: Did anyone else forget that he stopped teaching Spanish?) Ryder is looking particularly squirmish. Jake then enters the room in a bright red, ruffly tux, and announces that he is there to sing Marley one of her favorite songs. The music starts, the other boys arrive in their matching suits, and Jake then serenades Marley with a lovely rendition of “You’re All I Need To Get By.” (Side-Note: The way Jake kisses Marley on the cheek is seriously swoon-worthy. And to all of you Glee-bees who are wondering: Yes, Jacob Artist is just as sweet and adorable in person — if not more so.)
NEXT: Cold Feet and Wedding Day Craziness!
Wedding Day Craziness: It’s the day of the wedding! While we are waiting for the ceremony to start we see a quick yet sweet Brittana wave/smile, and Santana then launches into one of her world famous rants about how much Valentine’s Day sucks. Quinn then sparks into some complaining of her own. “You know what I hate? Men. Every single one of them is a pig except for maybe Mr. Schue and Al Roker. And you know what, you were right, I do let men define me, but not anymore.” (Side-Note: Woo hoo! You go Quinn! Question: where did you get your jacket because it needs to be in my closet ASAP.)
Artie meets Betty, Emma’s niece and fellow wheel-chair bound babe. However, unlike Artie — aka the sweetest thing on the planet since cherry pie — Betty is rude, condescending and conceited. “I’m blonde, captain of the cheerleaders at my high school and I’ve got this going on,” Betty quips while grabbing her tatas. (Side-Note: Way to keep it classy, Betty.)
Meanwhile Klaine is making out in the backseat of a Prius. (Side-Note: GAAAAHHH! I’m so excited right now! I just ran around my apartment and did a happy dance complete with booty shaking and 2-3 shimmys. I love these two so much it hurts!) Just as things are getting hot and heavy, Kurt asks, “Wait this doesn’t mean that we’re back together right?” To which Blaine replies, “This is just bros helping bros.” (Side-Note: Label it whatever you want, but I’m calling it euphoria.) Mercedes then interrupts the back-seat sexytimes and says that she needs her “arm gays” to escort her into the wedding. (Side-Note: No! *stomps my feet like a two-year-old* Go away Mercedes! They’re busy!)
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: A Hot Mess Of Holiday Cheer
Over in her dressing room Emma is officially 100 percent freaking out. And to make matters worse, Sue enters the room wearing an exact replica of Emma’s wedding dress. Emma looks like she’s about to pass out and says, “Sue I feel really scared, I feel really overwhelmed, I feel like I can’t think and I’m really worried that this isn’t going to work.”
Sue is absolutely no help and only reaffirms Emma’s fears that the wedding is a bad idea. (Side-Note: Someone needs to give Emma a Xanax, a shot of tequila and, a slap across the face right now. On the other hand, Jayma Mays’ acting is once again flawless, I literally feel anxious and sick to my stomach right now because her she is so damn convincing. Kudos to you, pretty ginger.)
Will and Emma then launch into one of the strangest yet amazing songs Glee has ever done, “Getting Married Today.” Emma is talking a mile a minute, but here’s the only line you need to hear: “But I thank you all for the gifts and the flowers. Thank you all, now it’s back to the showers. Don’t tell Will but I’m not getting married today.” Emma runs out of the back door or the church in a panic, flags down a cab, and breaks down hysterically crying in the backseat of her getaway vehicle. (Side-Note: That was the most stressful two minutes of TV I have ever seen. Ever. Give Jayma Mays all of the awards from now until eternity because that was pulse-quickening perfection.)
Becky is pelting the crowd with rose petals as she stomps down the aisle, and the music quickly halts when the door opens and Sue begins to walk to the alter. (Side-Note: When Brittany snapped a pic and mouthed, “You look so good!” to Sue, I pretty much died from laughter. I know that this is supposed to be a somber moment, but goodness gracious that cheerio can still deliver the best one-liners. Ever.) Will looks dumbfounded and Sue then utters four heartbreaking words, “Emma’s left the building.”
Finn is trying to fish information out of Will as to why Emma would take off. Will, looking like he is three seconds from sobbing, just says, “She didn’t have to tell me anything. I left her with all this stress and planning. She was losing it, and I kept telling her that it was her usual obsessiveness.” Santana then enters the church asking about the plan for the reception, and Will encourages the group to still have the party. “Just because I ruined my Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean I have to ruin all of yours too.”
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: Second Chances And New Romances
At the reception, Bram is awkwardly dancing together, so Santana and Quinn quickly leave the dance floor and head to the bar with their fake IDs for a glass of wine and a quick venting sesh. Santana tells her friend, “You know, we always were two ends of the same bitch goddess spectrum, maybe that’s why we love each other so much and slap each other." And Quinn then compliments Santana on how good she looks in her dress. (Side-Note: Ummm, okay. This is strange.)
Ryder and Jake are sitting at the reception, and the Glee writers are slowly but surely flipping the switch. Jake says that Marley has “Puckerman fever” and he only needs one more romantic gesture to make it fatal. Ryder looks distraught and says, “Do you think that maybe one of these gifts should be your idea?” (Side-Note: That’s funny Ryder. You’re the one who hijacked Jarley’s Valentine’s Week so you could inadvertently show Marley how much you love her. You told Jake that his ideas were dumb and that you had “a bunch” for your friend. So, do me a favor and stop trying to make Jake look bad right now.)
Ryder then hands Jake a heart pendent that he bought at the mall and Jake responds with, “You are my hero! I am so getting laid tonight." (Side-Note: Thank you Glee writers for taking a super sweet character and trying to squash it into the ground. I get that you want to create a love triangle, but can you try to be a bit more subtle?)
Kurt and Blaine hit the stage and we get to see an awesome ’80s inspired performance of “Just Can’t Get Enough.” (Side-Note: Yes! I haven’t been this excited since “Silly Love Songs.” Their chemistry on stage is absolutely electric, and for a second I totally forgot that they ever broke up.) Tina is once again acting ridiculously possessive over Blaine and practically hurdling daggers at Kurt with her eyes.
RELATED: 'Glee' Recap: Sectionals, Slaps, And Second Chances
After the song, Tina stomps over to Kurt and unleashes her inner crazy, going on a rant about NYADA, Vogue.com, cheating, and wanting to be loved back. (Side-Note: Oh my gosh Tina, go away! Go find Mike. He’s there randomly dancing in the background, not saying anything. Go make it so it’s not a complete and total waste that Glee asked him to come back for this.) Kurt then calls Tina out. “Okay Tina, I say this with total love, but the moment we all saw coming is finally here. You’re a hag, you’re hagged out, you’re in love with Blaine and it’s creepy!” (Side-Note: Kurt is just killing it this year! And the fact that he said that Tina vapo-raped his ex-boyfriend makes me love him even more.)
Rachel approaches Finn and reassures him that what happened that day was not his fault, “I’ve seen every runaway bride movie that there is, and I know that when the bride runs away, it’s never because of a random kiss. It’s because she knew deep down inside that it wasn’t right.” The two then exchange some mischievous smiles and get up to dance with the rest of the New Directions.
On the dance floor, Artie approaches Betty and says that he knows that she puts on this mean girl façade to hide the fact that she’s upset about being in a wheelchair, but yet he’s still oddly compelled by her. He convincers her to share one dance and they burn rubber out on the dance floor.
NEXT: Lots and Lots of Sex and The Episode’s Best Moments
Post-Wedding Craziness: Even though there is no bride, Sue announces that time has come to toss the bouquet, she and invites all the single ladies to gather round. The crowd of eager females includes, Quinn, Santana, Sam, Rachel, Tina, and a bunch of random extras who are overly excited to be there. The bouquet soars through the air and magically lands in Rachel’s arms, and Finns looks at her with the cutest smile on his face.
Finn catches Rachel on her way out of the restroom and notes that typically it’s only the single girls who line up to catch the bouquet. Rachel quickly assures him, “I am single,” and then explains that she and Brody had a “mature conversation” and decided not to put any labels on anything. (Side-Note: Listen up little ladies! When a guy doesn’t want to give your relationship a label, it means he wants to keep you around, but still be able to flirt with other girls. If this ever happens, tell that loser tootles and move on!)
Throughout their heartfelt and sexually charged conversation, Finn is slowly and nonchalantly plucking the petals off a white daisy, (“She loves me… she loves me not…”) and giving a brilliant metaphor about how the Finchel relationship is like a flower. Right now it’s just currently going through Winter. (Side-Note: Oh. My. God. This is just too good I can’t handle it. I have all these warm feelings swimming around in my stomach right now, and the way that Finn is subtly plucking off those petals makes my heart beat faster and faster.)
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: Enemies And Allies
Finn shows that he knows Rachel better than anyone else on the planet, and calls her out on her NYC Sex and the City-wannabe behavior: “I think that you’re lying to yourself, and I think the real reason that you can’t commit to Brody is because you’re still in love with someone else. You and I both know how this thing ends. I don’t care how or when, and I don’t care where you’re living or what dope you’re shacked up with. You’re my girlfriend.” (Side-Note: Finn Hudson: Out-shining all other men on TV since 2009.)
Finn then wraps up the world’s greatest love speech with this gem of a line: “We are endgame. I know that, and you know that.” (Side-Note: And so do the thousands of Twitter fans who devote each and every Friday to promoting their Finchel love. Sorry, just felt that that needed to be mentioned at some point. Love you guys!) Rachel says they need to go sing their duet and she snatches the last petal from the steam, which just so happened to land on “She loves me.”
Finn and Rachel sing a flawless version of “We’ve Got Tonight,” and all of the night’s couples — Jarley, Klaine, Quintana, Artie/Betty and Finchel — head upstairs to their respective hotel rooms.
So here’s how it all went down: Blaine is all smiles after their bedroom sesh, and it’s obvious that Kurt is trying to play it cool and brush their night off as no big deal. No worries, Blaine is not discouraged, and he knows that it’s only a matter of time before he and Kurt and perfectly placed back together. (Side-Note: Later hipster wannabe Adam!)
Quinn and Santana hooked up, and even though Quinn admits that it was a fun time, she’s not planning on switching sides for good. (Side-Note: I don’t like this. It feels unnatural and like a cheap, last minute tool to raise eyebrows and shock audiences.) Artie and Betty shared what seemed to be their first time together, and over in the Jarley room, absolutely nothing happened. It’s clear that Marley wasn’t ready, but Jake sweetly understood, kissed her hand and invited her downstairs for another dance.
Finn and Rachel made love, but rather than spending the night together, Rachel slipped out of the room with her bouquet in hand while her beau was still sleeping. (Side-Note: Finchel hooked up. On Valentine’s Day. All is right in the world.)
RELATED: ‘Glee’ Recap: Musicals, Man-eaters And Mooses
Rachel is suddenly back in an overly-decorated heart-covered loft, and Brody not-so-subtly mentions that it took him “two whole days” to make this for her. (Side-Note: Bite me Brody. You taped some paper hearts on the wall and bought some flowers. Whoop-di-doo! If you ask me it looks like your trying to make up for the fact that you’re guilty of something. Hmmm?) Rachel and Brody begin kissing, but he stops her and asks if she kissed anyone else while she was gone. “You’re kissing differently.” (Side-Note: First of all that whole “kissing differently” thing is not real. And secondly, why yes Brody if you must know, Rachel was kissing her one true love. Sheesh.)
Brody makes it a point to tell Rachel that their whole “modern relationship” only works is they are completely honest with each other. Rachel kind of evades the answer but still lets Brody know that she and Finn hooked up. She then asks about Brody’s lonely Valentine’s Day and he reveals, “I stayed at home and watched weight-lifting videos.” (Side-Note: I totally called it! I told you all he was a tool. It’s beyond obviously that he is lying, but only a true douche would mask his indiscretions with an excuse that is so barf-worthy.)
We then see what Brody was really up to: He leaves a hotel room with his shirt half unbuttoned, carrying a massive wade of money in his hands and looking quite pleased with himself. (Side-Note: Ladies and Gleeks, it’s official: Brody is a hoe fo’ sho.)
Over in the halls of McKinley, Tina is apologizing to Kurt for attacking him like an obnoxious yappy dog at the reception. “I saw you up there singing with Blaine, and I saw the old legendary chemistry. I saw two soul mates rediscovering each other and I was jealous.” (Side-Note: Finally, the world’s most creepy crush is broken!)
Marley then approaches Ryder, and admits that the knew that her whole week of love was his idea, not Jake’s. She smiles, “Whenever you do that for someone for real, she’s going to be the luckiest girl on the planet.” Ryder responds, “It was for real,” and before Marley realizes what’s about to happen, Ryder steals a sweet kiss. (Side-Note: Dammit. I’m so confused. Who do I ship? Sigh. #Gleegirlproblems)
RELATED: ‘Glee' Recap: Call Sheets And Name Calling
The Final Five: In the teacher’s lounge, Mr. Schue is moping around, and a super-cutely dressed Finn launches into an inspirational speech about never giving up. “Somewhere out there, there’s a Miss Pillsbury running around who should already be a Mrs. Schuester.” Will is newly invigorated and he thanks Finn for being such an amazing best man/friend.
Artie’s new lady love Betty rolls through the halls and the two make plans for Saturday night, “When you’re rolling with Artie Abrams, anything can happen,” he brags. And just like that the final song of the night, Ellie Goulding’s “Anything Can Happen,” begins to play and the glee club dances around the auditorium stage.
Cut to NYC, and we see that Rachel is sitting in bed next to a sleeping Brody flipping through her planner with a terrified look on her face. She grabs a pregnancy test, waits the agonizing two minutes, and looks at the results. (Side-Note: Ugh! Rachel is preggers y’all, and if that nasty little sperm came from Brody’s grody male-escort penis then I’m going to fly to New York, find the guy who looks most similar to him, and unleash a world of crazy on some poor unsuspecting bystander. See you all back here in three weeks! Xoxo!)
Most Heartwarming Moment: Seeing Finn pluck those petals while Telling Rachel that no matter what, they are endgame.
Most Heartbreaking Moment: Watching Emma’s hysterical breakdown in the back of the taxi as she drives away from the church.
Quotables:
“All of you Glee kids have dated so incestuously that I can’t even remember who can tolerate who anymore.” —Emma
“I am so over this and it hasn’t even started yet. I’m clearly the hottest bitch in this lousy joint but I’m all alone, stuck here sitting with you.” —Santana to Quinn
“Well of course it isn’t going to work. You’re a weird bird-lady with a hallow pelvis and a OCD. And Will Schuester is a weepy man-child who’s greatest joy in life is singing with children and his best friend is 19.” —Sue to Emma
“Relationships are a lot like flowers. If you find the right seed, put it in good soil, give it water and sunlight. Bam. Perfect bud.” —Finn to Rachel
“We are endgame, I know that and you know that.” —Finn to Rachel
What did you think of this week’s episode of Glee? How are you feeling about Finchel? Klaine? Quintana? Wemma? That fact that Rachel could be pregnant?! Sing all your thoughts in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: FOX]
From Our Partners:
'Groundhog Day' Cast: Where Are They Now?
Bradley Cooper Dancing Is Surprisingly Awkward

Remember when you were little and you knew you were doing something really really wrong, but you did it anyways? Just to see what would happen? Just to see the look of shock/terror/disappointment on someone’s face? That is exactly like what happened on this week’s episode of Glee.
You are such a twisted man, Mr. Ryan Murphy. Grab your favorite feather boa and sequined body suit, honey, because I’m here to catch you up on everything you may have missed and more in “Diva.”
So Here’s What You Missed on Glee:
Lima Divas: Emma (Jayma Mays) is currently in a completely organized panic about the wedding, which is now only ten days away, and Will is still out of town until the end of the week. Finn (Cory Monteith) is extremely worried that Mr. Schue is going to want to take back the glee club, but Emma quickly reassures him that he has done an amazing job coaching the newbies.
With regionals just around the corner, Finn is trying to think of a way to toughen up the New Directions and amp up their competitive sprit. His solution? Diva Week, round 2!
To help inspire the group, Finn asks Emma to come in and be their celebrity guest judge. (Side-Note: Aww it’s like the good old days! Vitamin D: you will always have a special place in my heart.) While Emma is reading the greatest description of a “Diva” ever said in the history of the universe, the claws are already starting to come out between the ladies — and Blaine — of the glee club. And with a few well-placed insults and some pretty intense finger snaps, the fierce femmes begin an amazingly over-the-top runway show while singing “Diva.” (Side-Note: That performance was 19 kinds of fierce and I loved every second of it!)
Over in the halls of McKinley, Blaine (Darren Criss) is snorting up all of his snot, coughing like a smoker, and looking like he’s about to pass out. Clearly he’s sick.
Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz) pops up out of nowhere and presents her crush with the ultimate cold-busting care package. (Side-Note: Ugh. This is still happening? I’m loving that Tina is finally getting some much-needed screen time but this is just the biggest waste of an arc Glee has done in a long time.) Despite his stuffed-up sinuses, Blaine performs a rocking version of “Don’t Stop Me Now,” to prove that boys can be divas too. (Side-Note: Nicely done Blaine, even with a red nose your voice still makes me swoon. But all you’ve really proved is that you’re the only one who could ever pull off that jacket/hat combo.)
RELATED: 'Glee' Recap: Slutty Barbie and Shirtless Men
The next day, Finn and Emma are standing in front of the choir room looking particularly pleased with themselves and begin to describe what makes up the ultimate diva. Emma explains, “Divas walk and they talk and they breathe brilliance. So here to demonstrate that elusive brilliance is a very special guest diva.”
And on that note, Santana (Naya Rivera) is once again back in the halls of McKinley, but time she’s brought a handful of her Louisville cheerleaders with her and she breaks into a high-energy, perfectly choreographed rendition of Tina Turner’s “Nutbush City Limits.” (Side-Note: Everyone needs to stop talking right now! Queen Naya is finally performing again on the magical box in my living room.)
The song ends and Santana gives Brittany the most awkward high-five the world has ever seen, while asking why she didn’t let her know she was coming back to town. Santana snaps, “I think that the better question is why did you tell me you were dating Sam?” Santana then takes the opportunity to introduce Elaine, her “out and proud, lipstick-loving, After Ellen-reading girlfriend.” Santana and Elaine then share a quick smooch. (Side-Note: And Brittana fans everywhere hiss is disgust.)
Devastated Divas: “And I didn’t even have to lay out a line of cereal for you to find me,” Santana quips as Sam (Chord Overstreet) meets her in the auditorium. (Side-Note: The episode can end right here. That was the best subtle verbal slap ever. What makes all of this so intriguing is the fact that once upon a Glee, Sam and Santana used to date, and she stole him away from Quinn. Remember that?)
The two Brittany lovers hurl insults back and forth until Santana reveals her plan for retuning to Lima, “First I’m going to cut off the Sam-sized tumor on her heart and then we cam begin the long, slow process of cleaning the stink of your mediocrity off her.” And with that, the gauntlet is thrown, the music begins and they unleash an emotion-filled version of “Make No Mistake,” while Brittany secretly watches. (Side-Note: Do not hiss at me for what I’m about to say: Sam sounds amazing in this song.)
As Santana turns to leave, Sam calmly tells her, “She’s with me now, and you know that’s the best thing for her. Just let it go.” Santana replies with one emotion-packed word, ‘Never.”
RELATED: 'Glee' Recap: Scandals, Shocks, and Sadie Hawkins
Over in Emma’s office, Finn is seeking some guidance because he just found out that Rachel has moved on. “She changed her Facebook relationship status to 'shacked up,' mine still says 'heartbroken.'” (Side-Note: First of all, that would be totally awesome if you could insert your own relationship status into Facebook. Mine would currently say “Twitterpated.” And secondly, seeing Finn devastated makes me want to run out and buy him a thousand puppies just to see if it would make him smile.)
Emma suggests that Finn should start dating again, perhaps even the new 26-year-old cross-eyed math sub. But Finn quickly shoots down her idea: “What do I have to offer a grown-woman like that? I’m just a man boy.”
Emma says that she too has felt a little lonely and lost without Will around, rings a little bell on her desk, and encourages Finn to get back out into the dating world. (Side-Note: No, that’s terrible advice! Don’t tell him to do that. Finn needs to work on himself right now and gain his confidence from within, not from having some girl on his arm. And does anyone else have any clue why she stopped mid-sentence to ring a bell?)
Delusional Diva: Tina is walking down the halls with her inner-monologue bouncing all over the place. First she says she wants to be a diva, then she hates the fact that she was upstaged by Santana yet again, and for a brief shining moment she thinks that she should call Mike because her crush on Blaine is silly.
But just as quickly as her epiphany arrived, it flew away in the Lima wind. She complains to a still-sick Blaine that she wants people to see her as a diva and he invites her over to his place to help her find the perfect song. To which Tina replies, “Aww Blainey days.” (Side-Note: Blainey Days? No. Nope. Not gonna happen. I just threw up in my mouth a little. Not-uh. Stop it. Ugh. This is ridiculous.)
Over at the Anderson house, Tina asks Blaine if he’s even been with a girl. "Nope, perfect gold-star gay," he replies, “Well, except for that time I kissed Rachel Berry.” Blaine lists off all the reasons that girls are perfectly fine, he’s just not attracted to them. Tina then tells him, “We’re young, we still have time to find ourselves.” (Side-Note: Okay, that comment really really pissed me off. Blaine being gay has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he is ‘young,’ it’s because he’s attracted to men, Tina. Not you. Dismissing his reasons for not liking girls by saying that he still has time to “find” himself is the most ridiculous, insulting, and infuriating things I’ve heard on this show. And that's saying a lot!)
Fast-forward just a bit and Blaine is passed out on his bed from the cold medicine and an unknowing Tina is professing her love for him and suggesting a “sexless relationship.” But when she realizes that Blaine is sleeping, Tina slowly unbuttons his shirt, massages Vapo-Rub onto his chest, then lays down beside him with tears in her eyes. (Side-Note: I kind of feel sad for her, but then I remember how completely ridiculous this all is and I snap right out of it. Watching her unbutton his shirt was incredibly creepy.)
RELATED: 'Glee' Recap: A Hot Mess of Holiday Cheer
The next day Blaine is 100 percent back to normal, but the sight of seeing his happy face seems to make something crack in Tina’s crazy brain. She snaps, “No, that’s seems a little Tina Cohen-Chang. Respect.” (Side-Note: I have absolutely no idea what just happened. What’s the matter with you?)
Wearing a pink leotard, Tina channels her inner Madonna in the McKinley High courtyard with, “Hung Up,” complete with break dancers and an outfit change. The next day Finn announces that Tina has won Diva week and while the completely realistic confetti falls from the sky, Finn and Emma hug. (Side-Note: Why are you two hugging? You didn’t win. You didn’t teach her that routine. This is weird and awkward and you should stop that right now. Thanks.) Blaine gives Tina a chocolate rose, thanks her for taking care of him this week and then sweetly asks Tina to be his date for Mr. Schue and Emma’s wedding next week. Tina gladly accepts. (Side-Note: Wait, so this still isn’t over? Sigh.)
Next: Jaw-Dropping Diva and NYADA Diva-Off!
Jaw-Dropping Diva: Emma is completely freaking the eff out. Her wedding binders are all over the place, there are flowers flooding her desk, she is mid-panic because Will said the centerpieces were, “fine.” She cries,“I need things to be more than fine. I need them to be perfect they have to be perfect and I need them to be perfect.”
Emma explains that her insecurities are from her last wedding where she let go of the details and the marriage didn’t work out. Now she is in full-on hysterics, throwing things into the trash can, ranting on and on about her dress and not making any sense whatsoever.
Finn grabs her shoulders trying to calm her down saying that they make a great team. But when that doesn’t work, he panics and brushes the hair from her face and kisses her. (Side-Note: When I first saw this scene, I scared the crap out of my co-workers and screamed out, “What the f**k just happened?!” Then I tweeted it. And then I watched it again. And then I went to sleep, woke up and re-watched the scene at least 8 more times. And now I have no idea what I’m feeling anymore. Finn and Emma have always been two of my favorite characters, and now they just kissed. This season is so out of whack. I'm going to go re-watch Smash now.)
RELATED: 'Glee' Recap: Second Chances and New Romances
NYADA Divas: Kurt (Chris Colfer) and Rachel (Lea Michele) are in the same “free sing” class, but according to Mr. Hummel the class has turned into the Rachel hour: “Because I’m her best friend I can say this: Rachel has always been a little insufferable. Ever since she won the Winter Showcase, her ego and behavior have been out of control.”
Not only is she ignoring her best friend while in the halls of NYADA, she is also surrounding herself with booty-kissing, compliment-spewing drones. At home she hogs the shower, clogs the drain with her extensions, (Side-Note: I knew it!) and makes Kurt take phone messages for her so she can save her voice. (Side-Note: Even though she’s being obxious, rude, and completely insufferable, at least she’s acting more like the Rachel we first met and fell in love with.)
After one demand too many, Kurt finally lost it and decided to be brutally honest with his roommate. “Now you’ve got that weird naked boyfriend and that weird legion of sycophants, and now you’re like an annoying self-righteous Lima-Rachel on steroids.” (Side-Note: Well done Kurt, you took the words right out of my mouth. But where the heck is Brody in all of these loft scenes? What does he think about her crazy? Oh, I see. He’s too busy flexing in the mirror to notice…)
To get back at him, Rachel blurted out that the only reason Kurt got the audition at NYADA is because he is friends with her. Kurt just smiled and said that Rachel may have won the Winter Showcase but it was his heart-stopping version of “Being Alive” that stole the show.
So how does HummelBerry decide to settle this? With another head-to-head diva-off! Kurt finally admits to Rachel something we’ve known for nearly four years now: he lost their first diva competition on purpose so that his dad wouldn’t be embarrassed that this son could sing "Wicked" better than any girl. (Side-Note: Burt is the world’s most perfect parent. He wouldn’t have cared!) Rachel is shocked and shaken to the core screaming, “That was my first big win! That was the foundation that I built all of my confidence on for the past two years!” Kurt just smiled saying, “Well consider it cracked. Get ready for diva-off part 2.”
Kurt and Rachel are going to go head-to-head at Midnight Madness — aka NYADA’s fight club. Brody explains, “Twice a year we break into a classroom for a no-holds-bard singoff to the death. Winner gets ultimate bragging rights for the rest of their time at NYADA, loser gets shamed and humiliated."
At the night of the battle, Brody explains the rules: The two competitors will sing the exact same song, at the end of the performances, the groups will disperse and stand behind the singer that they think deserves to win. The song? “Bring Him Home” from Les Miserables. (Side-Note: I’m sorry but I was bored out of my mind during this performance. The only thing I was paying attention to was Rachel’s dress and that’s because I’m part squirrel and love sparkly things.) The song finally ends and in the closest margin in Midnight Madness history, Kurt wins.
RELATED: 'Glee' Recap: Sectionals, Slaps, and Second Chances
The next day, the entire school is buzzing about Kurt victory, but like the normal and kind-hearted person that he is, Kurt doesn’t let it go to his head and he scoffs off the drones who are now trying to kiss his behind.
Rachel is currently in a huge funk and is moping around the halls like a lost puppy. (Side-Note: Ugh. Why is it that we can never be happy for Kurt, without feeling sad for Rachel. Also I realized that ever since last week’s Rachel vs. Rachel song, she’s been wearing a lot less makeup and her hair has lost that teased "I’m going to a party" look. Hopefully this means that we’ve found the perfect balance between new and old Rachel. Lastly, I'm choosing to ignore the fact that Adam was in this epsisode.)
In the loft, Kurt tells his bestie that he has signed both of them up for the open audition for the revival of “Funny Girl” on Broadway. Despite the fact that Rachel was born to play this role, she is looking less than pleased with this news. “Let’s say by some crazy, extraordinary chance I get it, then what? I become even more of a diva nightmare then I am now? I can’t handle the pressures of stardom.”
Kurt calmly and miraculously explains to Rachel that it’s alright for her to be a diva, just not a nightmare. And with that, HummelBerry is back to being the best friends. (Side-Note: Yay! But seriously, where is Brody? Oh. There he is! He’s in the bathroom spending 45 minutes perfecting his hair.)
NEXT: Santana's Big Lie and The Episode's Top Moments
The Final Five: Over in Sue’s office, we learn something very interesting about Santana: she dropped out of college a month ago! Rather than being upset or disappointed with her former head Cheerios, Sue offers Santana a coaching job and tells her to take the week to think about it. Santana and Brittany meet—in what I’m assuming is back stage of the auditorium—and Santana is looking pleased with herself.
However, Brittany quickly admits that she is not breaking up with Sam because she really likes him and he makes her feel really smart. (Side-Note: Oh really? Did you feel super smart last week when he couldn’t believe that you got the top SAT scores in the school? Didn’t think so.)
Apparently school wasn’t the only thing that Santana lied about. Brittany found out that Santana paid Elaine with scratchers tickets and a bunch of other crap to pretend to be her new ladyfriend. (Side-Note: Good. She looked boring.)
RELATED: 'Glee' Recap: Enemies and Allies
Brittany quickly tells her former beau that she should not take over Sue’s job as coach of the Cheerios saying, “I think you need to be somewhere that’s as big and as hot as you are. It’s okay to follow your dreams.”
And after only two minutes of conversation and one small peck on the lips, Brittany and Santana decide to just stay best friends. (Side-Note: I love that they are always so mature with each other. It’s really refreshing. I’m also somehow oddly at peace with their official breakup. I think Santana deserves to be with someone who is just as passionate as she is, not someone who is just kind of there. Still love you too Britt.)
Santana breaks into the best song of the night, “Girl On Fire” and gives Alicia Keys a run for her money in fierceness. And as the song ends, another little Lima enters NYC. Santana pounds on Kurt and Rachel’s door and when they shockingly ask what she’s doing there, her answer is short and unwavering: I’m moving in. (Side-Note: Hell yes! Toodles, Brody! Oh wait, now where did Brody go? Oh he’s doing pushups in the bedroom while texting another girl… probably.)
Most Heartwarming Moment: Seeing Santana gain the courage to follow her dreams and move to New York.
Most Heartbreaking Moment: Watching Finn kiss and realizing that this could completely devastate not one, but two original Glee couples.
Quotables:
“The online Urban Dictionary defines a “diva” as a fierce, often temperamental singer who comes correct. She is not a trick-ass hoe and she does no sweat the haters.” — Emma
“Will keeps suggesting Costa Rica, but us gingers can be that close to the equator.” — Emma
“I know you’d come around eventually, Sam’s most redeeming quality is that he can bore you to sleep and then you can use his lips as ginormous pillows.” — Santana
What did you think of “Diva”? How are you feeling about the Finn/Emma kiss? Are you excited to see Santana in New York? What are your Brody speculations? Sing me your thoughts in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: FOX]
From Our Partners:
Celebrity Swimsuits Ever (Celebuzz)
Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)

This week’s episode of Glee was like a scoop of vanilla ice cream. It was sweet, satisfying, and definitely made my night a lot more enjoyable, but it wasn’t fully amazing. I’m not sure if it was missing the chocolate covered smackdown of a Santana and Quinn v. Brody faceoff, or a sprinkle more of Emma Pillsbury, but it definitely left me wanting more. Read on for everything you may have missed in “Naked” and then hit the comments below with your thoughts on the episode!
So Here’s What You Missed on Glee:
Return to Regionals! The episode opens and we see Hunter Clarington being bombarded with press discussing his recent cheating scandal with the Dalton Warblers. Looks like round face Warbler indeed decided to confess to their roid-ridden sectionals performance and now the New Directions are headed to Regionals! Over in the choir room, Finn is looking especially cute in his tight sweater/collared shirt combo as he congratulates Blaine and Sam for revealing the seedy underbelly of Dalton Academy and thus earning them a trip to Indianapolis. Which according to Artie is the “Paris of Indiana.”
Finn announces that they still need to raise $400 for the bus to regionals is then quickly shot down when he suggests a bake sale. (Side-Note: Aww, season one flashbacks!) Tina then once again channels her inner-Rachel and confidently announces her plan to raise money: A Men of McKinley Calendar! “Let’s face it, this is the cutest crop of Glee boys we’ve ever had.” (Side-Note: Gasp! You bite your tongue you little tart! I seem to remember your former beau used to have a pretty amazing bod. This group of boys is particularly cute sure, but let’s take into account the fact that Jake and Ryder have baby faces.)
Over in Figgins’ office, Brittany and Sam are being told that the two of them have received the highest and lowest scores ever recorded at McKinley. Sam is confident that he’s a “secret genius” and Figgins announces that Brittany received a near-perfect score. Clearly baffled Sam asks, “Wait, what? How?” (Side-Note: You’ve got to be freaking kidding me?!
Sam is supposed to be Brittany’s boyfriend. Someone who is supportive and believes in the fact that Brittany is the closest thing to a unicorn that this earth will ever see. Does anyone else remember when Brittany was devastated when Artie accidently called her “stupid”?
All I’m saying is Santana would’ve sung Brittany a song and rewarded her with some sweet lady kisses, not look dumbfounded at her test-taking skills.) Sam looks devastated but Brittany reminds him that he has a killer bod and he could definitely be a greeter at Abercrombie’s corporate headquarters.
Over near the lockers, Tina is still drooling over Blaine like a pathetic little puppy when Sam struts down the hallway in nothing but a pair of swim trunks. Blaine does his best to tap into his sympathetic friend mode even though it’s clear that he’s 19-kinds of turned on. “Are you sure you’re not overcompensating a little?” Sam dismisses Blaine’s concerns and invites him to his seminar later that afternoon. “It’s a one-hour course entitled ‘Modern Centerfold: Techniques That Work for Today’s Hot New Posers.’”
Some of Sam’s brilliant tips include, Broga (yoga for bros), shaving your chest and back, and “packing a little extra” with baby socks. The Men of McKinley break into a mashup of “Centerfold/Hot in Herre” and perform a very season one-esque workout routine with the cheerios.
Calendars and Centerfolds: In the teacher’s lounge, Sue approaches Finn and once again says that she’s opposed to their idea to raise money for nationals. What a shocker. (Side-Note: I’m sorry but I can’t begin to tell you how sick I am of seeing episode after episode where Coach Sue tries to take down the glee club. Don’t you have better things to do now? Don’t you have a child to look after? It’s time for a new threat in McKinley.) Sue says the calendars are like high school pornorgraphy and Finn retorts, “Sue Sylvester you can suck a hot one because you are a hypocrite.”
Apparently Sue posed nakey for Penthouse Magazine back in the day and Finn says that he’s going to find it so she can’t stop the New Direction’s calendar. (Side-Note: Did anyone else just get extremely uncomfortable when Finn said “suck a hot one”? Their whole interaction just made me a little nauseous.)
Finn asks Artie to search through years and years of vintage porn to find Sue’s centerfold and Artie tells Finn that he’s not comfortable posing for the calendar. “It’s not just girls who have body issues, sometimes guys aren’t cool with showing off their bodies either.”
On the day of the calendar shoot, Tina is foaming at the mouth and then men of McKinley are looking particularly scrumptious in their holiday themed outfits. However it’s clear that Sam is taking this far more seriously than everyone else. Blaine confronts his friend saying, “This is not who you are Sam. You’d not some body-obsessed muscle head!”
Sam breaks down with tears in his eyes explaining that he feels like his good physique is the only thing that makes him special. Blaine is quick to counter his crush telling him, “Let it go. Have a burger every now and then, eat a bag of Cheetos, skip a workout, sleep in a little. You’re body isn’t going to change and even if you have 7% percent body fat you’re going to see that all of us still love you and we’re going to laugh at your impressions.”
Holy crap it’s Emma! (Side-Note: Squeeeeeeeee!) Blaine asked Ms. Pillsbury to help Sam find a path to college that doesn’t necessarily require SAT scores. Emma also reminds Sam that there are countless of scholarships that will help him pay his way through school, all he needs is a personal essay about his accomplishments. Sam once again sells himself short saying, “Like what? Like my abs and my fish lips?" (Side-Note: Aww Sam. Don't forget that you're a good person with an endless supply of promise rings too!)
Back in the teacher's lounge, Finn presents Sue with an envelope and tells her that he found her dirty magazine. Sue looks genuinely impressed saying she thought she bought all the copies, and even admits that she’s not ashamed of her centerfold.
However when Sue went to take a peek at her lady bits, she say that the magazine inside was actually Highlights. (Side-note: Holy crap! I loved those magazines! The hidden picture search was always my particularly favorite part.) Sue looks baffled for a second but then Finn reveals that he even though he couldn’t find her publication, he was able to record her entire confession. Clearly impressed with his own technological skills, Finn saunters out of the teacher’s lounge looking like a boss.
Newbie Lovin: Brittany asks Marley what she’s doing after school that day and all of the sudden, before we can even process the amazingness, the music begins: Fondue for Two!!! (Side-Note: It’s like the Glee gods heard my cries about awkward college show choir hipsters and lack of Wemma so they’re rewarding me with this incredible little gem. Thank you!)
Brittany introduces Marley as the girl who ruined sectionals and reveals that the sophomore also enjoys reading The Hunger Games. (Side-Note: I volunteer as tribute to be the next guest on Fondue for Two!) After Marley reveals that Lord Tubbington has a gambling problem and nearly burns herself on boiling hot cheese, Brittany gets right down to it: “Please admit to my viewing audience that you are in love with Jake.”
Brittany tells Marley that since Jake is willing to bear it all in the calendar, she should follow in his steps and bear her feelings. While Marley ponders that information she looks like she’s going to hurl. (Side-Note: Please don’t’. That was a stellar rendition of Fondue For Two however I’ve got to admit that I was severely distracted by Brittany’s outfit.
We’ve seen her in cute normal clothes outside of her cheerios uniform so can someone please explain to me why she’s wearing a two-toned Peter Pan collared shirt with that awkward gray sweater? Not at fan.)
Jake meets Marley in the auditorium and agrees to help her pick out songs for Regionals because after her whole passing-out-on-stage disaster, she’s got a lot to make up for. McKinley’s most adorable couple then breaks into a gorgeous version of “A Thousand Years” and all of the Twihard/Gleek combo fandom fans then pass out from delight because their two worlds have collided. (Side-Note: Um, yes that would include me.)
The song ends and the two share an oh-so sweet kiss. Jake tells his lady, “There’s something you want to tell me, I can tell,” but Marley just stammers out “I love… this song." (Side-Note: Are they really already in “I love you” territory? Didn’t they just become official last week? Oh wait, what I am thinking? This is high school! Okay proceed with your instantaneous love!)
Jake and Ryder are sharing a very brolicious work-out sesh together when Tina and Kitty enter the boy’s locker room to assign them their sexy months. (Side-Note: I’m sorry but Tina and Kitty seem like two dogs in heat. Calm down ladies, no guy has ever wanted to be with a girl who is consistently salivating at the mouth and has to wipe the drool away from her shirt every five minutes.
Take a cold shower and chill because your ovaries are clearly on overdrive.) Jake tells his bestie that ever since he’s been seeing Marley, he doesn’t even notice any other girl. So Ryder encourages his bro to be the first one to tell her I love you. “Chicks dig hot guys who are willing to get naked for calendars but what they’re really looking for is a guy who will get naked emotionally.” Jake takes the advice and in the choir room he sings an incredibly beautiful and stripped down version of “Let Me Love You.” (Side-Note: Holy crap. I have no words. My friend is indeed a talented fella.)
NEXT: New York Nakedness
To Be (Naked) or Not To Be (Naked): Rachel just finished auditioning for a senior NYADA student’s horribly pretentious play about how a grandmother’s slip into dementia is an allegory for the end of the world. (Side-Note: Blegh. Pass.) Rachel is offered the lead role, but before she can get too excited, the ascot-wearing student mentions that she would have to be topless in one scene. As Rachel ponders to herself whether or not this is something that she should do, a miracle happens and Rachel’s former sweater-loving self appears.
Old Rachel tells New Rachel, “You’re not a porn star even though your hair and your makeup makes you look like one.” (Side-Note: Burn! Woah. It’s crazy amazing to see the two Rachels side-by-side. Old Rachel’s posture is perfection and her short, fast-paced yet precisely articulated sentences are definitely things that I’m marveling at right now. Rachel used to always be so confident, so sure of her choices and goals. I miss that girl.) The two Rachels break out into a beautiful duet of “Torn” and Glee fans everywhere squeal with delight to see the return of the reindeer sweater. As the song ends Rachel tells the student that she’ll do the scene.
In the loft, Kurt is enjoying a delicious bowl of Rooster O’s cereal when a very naked Brody struts out over to the table and sits down. Rachel joins the boys at the table with a sing-songy “Good morning!” and Kurt is shocked and disgusted explaining, “Your boyfriend’s bare ass is on one of my vintage flea market chairs!” Brody retorts, “Hey I’m not ashamed of my body and I wanted to show Rachel that I support her choice completely.” (Side-Note: Oh. My. God. Shut up Brody! You’re an inconsiderate, egotistical, hot-headed ass who clearly does not have Rachel’s best interest at heart. Rachel you’re currently just an idiot who is trying to pass off lust for love and wants to show off your ta-ta’s because you think it will make you an experienced and mature actress. Newsflash: it doesn’t.)
Brody’s brilliant reasoning is that if you want to win an Oscar, you have to show your boobs. Kurt then delivers the most amazing line that what we’ve all been thinking: “I don’t get it, a year ago you were all plaid skirts and ‘Do you think Finn likes me?’
And now you’re slutty Barbie, asking misogynistic Ken to move in with you and doing pornos. What’s happening to you?” (Side-Note: Do I think Kurt’s words were harsh? You’re damn right, but I could not be happier to hear him say them. Rachel needed that verbal slap in the face from her best friend; unfortunately his words should have been laced with a bit more poison because she still doesn’t get it.)
Rachel returned to the loft to find that Santana and Quinn are waiting for her and she then promptly freaks the eff out. Santana explains, “Lady Hummel called and begged us to do an emergency intervention.”
But of course that’s not the only reason, they’re also in town to go shopping and “to apologize to Quinn for slapping her across the face really really hard.” (Side-Note: Aww suck it up Quinn, you deserved it.) Santana and Quinn tell Rachel that she’s absolutely crazy if she thinks this is a good idea.The three Lima ladies sit down and discuss the rule of 2-2-2: How are you going to feel about it in two weeks? Two months? And two years? It’s clear that Rachel is starting to doubt her decision, especially after Santana warned her about the perils of having something forever on the internet. (Side-Note: Ahem, by a show of comments, who here also forgot about Santana’s sex tape adventure?)
Over at the shoot for the student film, Rachel is walking through what appears to be in a dream-like scene wearing her pink furry robe and an apprehensive look on her face. When the director tells Rachel to drop the robe, it looks like she’s a dear caught in the headlights. (Side-Note: Of course the director is wearing a black beret. Could you more any more cliché honey?)
Rachel asks that the crew members remove their shirts too so that she’ll feel more comfortable and surprisingly, they agree to do it. However in the second take, Rachel is still clutching onto her robe for dear life when she finally tells the director that she can’t do it. “I think it’s okay for actresses to be naked and maybe someday I’ll be ready but I just realized that I’m not ready to be naked now.” (Side-Note: Good for you Rachel! You’re kind of slow, and it took you a while to get there, but I’m glad that you realized that showing your lady buttons is not the answer. In other news: Suck it Brody.)
Rachel, clearly proud of her self-revelation, breaks into “Love Song” and meets up with Quinn and Santana so the three ladies can show off their gorgeous voices in a trio. The songs ends and Rachel begs her friends to stay for the night so she can buy them dinner.
Santana then drops her first “Diva” teaser, “I’m in no rush to get back to Kentucky. I think I could get used to it here in New York, it’s more of my speed.” (Side-Note: I could not agree more. My television misses your weekly dose of spit-fire insults. But now let me just officially confirm that I am completely devastated that there were no interactions between Brody, Quinn and Santana. I would give almost anything to see Loopy Quinn unleash her coveted bitch look or watch Santana to go all Lima Heights Adjacent on that pretty boy’s behind…)
The Final Five: Blaine finds Sam trying to work on his essay and offers him a little inspiration. The former Warbler then brings out his laptop and plays Sam a video montage of all of Sam’s friends (Mercedes and Santana included!) talking all about Trouty Mouth’s past accomplishments and amazing characteristics. (Side-Note: Um, if this video is supposed to include all of Sam’s exes, then where the heck is Quinn? Their relationship is arguably the most genuine of them all, so why wasn’t she included in this We Heart Sam video?)
Sam and Blaine then share a sweet and bromatic hug. Sam later approaches Artie in the hallway and politely asks him to pose in the calendar with the rest of the boys. To show that he’s sorry for acting like a hot-headed douche, Sam poses for his months in the calendar with clothes on so that Artie is not the only one refusing to go shirtless.
The ladies of McKinley are all aflutter and are practically throwing themselves at the glee club boys. Marley is waiting in line for a calendar too but her beau pulls her aside and says that he already made on out for her. Written next to his Jake-o-Lantern, young Puckerman wrote, “I love you –Jake” Marley gasps and says, “I love you back.” (Side-Note: That was really sweet.
Most people would respond with “I love you too” but I guess Marley is determined to prove to us that she can always be sufficiently awkward in even the simplest scenarios. Good for you!) The New Directions then break into “The New Year” and have an amazing time running around the auditorium stage and acting all love-dovey in their black-and-white themed outfits. (Side-Note: I’m obsessed and a half with this song and their little music video moment. This performance brought me back to the Glee that I first fell in love with and I could not be happier with it.)
Most Heartwarming Moment: This week it’s a tie between the reindeer sweater, Sam’s tribute video, and seeing Rachel embrace Quinn and Santana in the New York Loft.
Most Heartbreaking Moment: Watching Sam break down and cry to Blaine in the lockerroom.
Quotables:
“You may know tonight’s guest only as the girl with the fat mom who ruined sectionals for everybody. Please give it up for our very own Marley Rose!”—Brittany to the Fondue for Two camera
“For the record Blaine has an awesome body and a perky and delicious behind that looks like it got baked to perfection by some sort of master chef.”—Tina
“You have such broad shoulders. Seriously if you ever want to tap this, just say the word.”—Dottie
What did you think of “Naked”? Do you wish there were a lot more Rachel, Santana and Quinn time? What was your favorite month of the calendar? Sing your thoughts in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: FOX]
MORE:
'Glee' Recap: Scandals, Shocks and Sadie Hawkins
‘Glee’ Recap: A Hot Mess of Holiday Cheer
Glee Recap: Second Chances and New Romances
You Might Also Like:
’Hunger Games: Catching Fire’: Spoilery Pics From Google Maps
20 Hottest Celebrity Bikini Bodies dilemma

Tonight’s episode of Glee is entitled “Naked,” so naturally every tween gleek is giggling and gasping with intrigue, while the rest of the non-Glee-watching population is rolling their eyes. In today’s TV world, Lena Dunham can run around all night with her lady buttons exposed while American Horror Story features at least one graphic rape scene per season.
Let's face it: Pushing the boundaries when it comes to nudity is no longer an unspeakable social taboo. It’s common knowledge that sex sells. But Glee, a show that's geared toward a teenage audience, is held to a different standard than more mature cable series. Nudity — and sex — can only be broached if its paired with a larger message. Otherwise, the series can find itself as knee-deep as Lea Michele in GQ.
So the show needs to tow a delicate line on Thursday's episode, in which Rachel Berry, the shining star of the Glee fandom, will face one of her biggest crossroads in her character’s young life: Whether or not the 18-year-old should pose topless in a college student film. Quite the conundrum. Will Glee's young fans, who are currently living in a world where sex consumes hallway conversation more than science, be shocked at the very fact that Rachel is considering the option? Perhaps. But it's more to safe to say that fans of Glee — which, at its very core, is a safe TV series — will walk away with a heart-warming message that excuses the show of its "Naked" bait.
After all, the series has rarely talked about sex without talking about its consequences. In the first season, fans — and tween girls everywhere — watched as the confident Rachel shot down the idea of going nude.
“Aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I'll pretty much do anything to break into the business,” she said.
While Rachel never went au natural throughout the next three seasons, there was plenty of hanky-panky that did go down in the halls of McKinely. Who could forget when Quinn, the head cheerleader and president of the Celibacy Club, traded in her V-card for a baby bump? Or when Puck openly tried — and succeeded! — to seduce the school's temporary teacher Shelby Cocoran. It seems like each and every time a fictitious highschooler in Lima had some sexual scandal, he or she always had to pay the price or at least endure an awkward talk with the "I know what you're going through" Mr. Schuester.
Three seasons and one trip to New York City later, Rachel Berry is suddenly considering shedding her clothes, separating herself from the confident identity young viewers could admire and aspire to. But has the Rachel Berry that we’ve come to know really changed so dramatically? Rachel’s mantra has always been WWBSD? — What would Barbra Streisand do? And here’s a fun fact: Streisand has shot a topless scene... but refused to allow it to be included in the movie, The Owl And The Pussycat.
So will Rachel go "Naked" tonight? If Glee's history has taught us anything, it's more likely you'll see Lindsay Lohan pop up again. (So, translation: No.) But Glee fans are a loyal bunch — no episode title bait and switch will keep them from coming back for more.
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: FOX]
MORE:
'Glee' Recap: Scandals, Shocks and Sadie Hawkins
‘Glee’ Recap: A Hot Mess of Holiday Cheer
'Glee' Recap: Second Chances and New Romances
You Might Also Like:
’Hunger Games: Catching Fire’: Spoilery Pics From Google Maps
20 Hottest Celebrity Bikini Bodies

There's a heated debate surrounding Thursday, Jan. 24's episode of Glee. "Sadie Hawkins" featured a slowed-down, banjo-filled cover of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s throwback jam, “Baby Got Back.” The performance was pretty lackluster, but that’s not the problem. The issue lies within the melody. Musician Jonathan Coulton sparked an attention-grabbing Internet-based debate when he noticed that it sounded like the powers that be at Glee had ripped off his unique — and very distinct — musical arrangement of the classic '90s hit.
Coulton took to his Twitter account last week to vent his frustrations with the hit FOX show.
Hey look, @gleeonfox ripped off my cover of Baby Got Back: bit.ly/WME9Ho. Never even contacted me. Classy.— Jonathan Coulton (@jonathancoulton) January 18, 2013
Now let’s do a little compare and contrast shall we? Glee’s version, sung by cast newcomer Oliver Kieran-Jones, is embedded in the tweet above. Now check out Coulton’s cover below:
Pretty much identical, right? Well, unfortunately for Coulton, his rendition was a non-commercial cover of the original song, thus there are no copyright infringements involved. After the episode aired, the musician headed over to his blog to update his fans on what he referred to as “exciting times!”
Coulton writes, "Well, they aired it, seemingly unchanged. And it’s now for sale in the US iTunes store. They also got in touch with my peeps to basically say that they’re within their legal rights to do this, and that I should be happy for the exposure (even though they do not credit me, and have not even publicly acknowledged that it’s my version – so you know, it’s kind of SECRET exposure). While they appear not to be legally obligated to do any of these things, they did not apologize, offer to credit me, or offer to pay me, and indicated that this was their general policy in regards to covers of covers. It does not appear that I have a copyright claim, but I’m still investigating the possibility (which I consider likely) that they used some or all of my audio. I’ll write something longer and more detailed about this when I can get my head together about it probably in a couple of days. Thanks for your support, but please continue not to burn anything down."
Even if Glee did nothing wrong legally, it still sounds like there could be some shady business happening. We want to know what you think! Vote in our poll below and then take to the comments to express your feelings on what we’re hoping will forever be known as “Baby Got Back-Gate.” &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://polldaddy.com/poll/6855612/"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;How Do you Feel About the "Baby Got Back" Scandal?&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: FOX]
MORE:
'Glee' Recap: Scandals, Shocks and Sadie Hawkins
'Glee': A Shipper Filled Catch-Up Before The Next Song
'Glee' Star Lea Michele Says Finn and Rachel Are 'Meant to Be'
From Our Partners:
Celebs as Kids: Guess Who? (Celebuzz)
Craziest Celebrity Swimsuits Ever (Celebuzz)

For some time now, we steadfast 30 Rock fans — purists, nostalgic for the days of the Cleve and Subway Heroes, who keep watching the show in large part out of Tina Fey loyalty — have looked forward to the eventual conclusion of Liz Lemon's misadventures. Though the long running NBC sitcom is still more than capable of inspiring ample laughs, the 30 Rock of today is inarguably slighted by the unique and dynamic comic sensation that it once was. More than great gags, though, the show has been long dormant in supplying genuine heart. Even in its heyday 30 Rock was not an overtly sentimental show, but through its exhibition of the great friendships fostered between Liz and Jack, Liz and Jenna (the old Jenna), Kenneth and Tracy, and — a personal favorite — Kenneth and Jack, could always manage legitimately touching stories. And damn it if it still doesn't have some of that old magic tucked away. In fact, although I maintain that it is better that 30 Rock head to pasture before slipping into the crevasse of comedic failure, this week's episode "A Goon's Deed in a Weary World" — the second to last in an impressive 7-year run — does make the imminent finale a tad more bittersweet.
The episode follows Liz as she attempts with desperation to save TGS from certain doom. Jack is unable to simply give Liz her program back, but he has granted her the ability to "prove her case" to the board members with said authority by putting on the perfect episode of her variety show. Unfortunately, Liz has her regular arsenal at her disposal: a lackluster writing staff, a marginally competent producer, no money (even with the help of her new sponsor, Bro Body Douche), and worst of all, two of the most unreliable, destructive, actively difficult stars in television history. But even with her longstanding derision for all of these people, she still fosters an unrelenting compulsion to protect them. She loves her nerds, and will stop at nothing to keep their show alive.
But if Liz only had her nerds to worry about, then things would be easier: on the other end of her cell phone all episode long is husband Criss, begging with Liz to let TGS go and come help him prepare for the arrival of their two adopted children, who are being flown into New York imminently. So accustomed to putting work first, Liz is incapable of tearing herself away from this project to save the show, even at the expense of her budding family life. Poor Liz Lemon. Having it all ain't as easy as you thought.
But for dramatic effect, let's delay the tear-inducing conclusion of Liz's story and jump over to Jack and Kenneth, who have a sweet little thing going on all their own. See, Jack, now the CEO of KableTown, is seeking a replacement to head NBC. As such, he's brought on Kenneth — the page! He made him a page again!— to give a tour/secret interview to the five prospective candidates. Jack will lurk and judge the group, each a grown version of a Willy Wonka character in this extended parody of the classic children's move... Kenneth even dresses up like Slugworth to try and illicit "bad behavior" from the prospectives in hopes of narrowing down the selection. While Kenneth urges Jack to go with the "purest of heart" among the choices, Jack insists that the new NBC president must be a pragmatist who understands business and is willing and able to be cold-hearted and decisive. Upon the eruption of the disagreement, Kenneth meekly chastises Jack's own sensibilities, making the man question himself (Kenneth is the only one who can ever get through to Jack, so it seems) and how good a businessman, and man in general, he is.
In the end, Jack recognizes that through all his education at Princeton undergrad and Harvard Business School, his tutelage under Jack Welch and Don Geiss, his long line of experiences molding him into the perfect executive, Jack has utterly failed in the TV business. He picks shows that flop, invests in ideas that suck, and is constantly at odds with his own devices. Why? Because TV makes no sense. As such, Jack decides the only person who can appropriately run NBC is someone who simply and unabashedly wants to. Someone who just loves TV.
You know where this is going.
Jack names Kenneth the president of NBC. And it's silly and sappy. It's long predicted (even the episode jokes about this, naming the top candidate among the group "Mr. McGuffin"). But it's really funny, really sweet, and exactly what so many of us wanted. Cue the everlasting hug between Kenneth and an unwilling Jack, who takes one final glimpse out of his office window... while Kenneth is still adhered.
But back to Liz! Back to Liz! Her show's a mess. Her new 5-year-old twins are landing at JFK. Her husband is getting fed up with her devotion to TGS. And she has no one in her corner ... OR DOES SHE?
Taking note of how much Liz has on her shoulders, her friends and coworkers decide to finally do the right thing. And when I say "finally," I don't just mean in this situation. I mean finally, after seven freakin' years. Tracy and Jenna, shrugging off the own hits their careers will take after the death of TGS, tell the board that they quit. Following their lead are Pete, Frank, Twofer, the whole gang. Everyone throws in the towel. But not because they're lazy, selfish, craving attention... because they want to free Liz Lemon. They know that as long as she is shackled to TGS, she'll be unhappy. But if they let her go, she can finally live her life, find joy and satisfaction elsewhere (with her family, and maybe a new job?), and actually have it all. It's really freaking sweet. But not as sweet as when Liz rushes to the airport (just like that time in Season 1!) to meet her children.
For these are no ordinary twin 5-year-olds. In addition to being two different races (this is possible... everyone saw it on Maury), they are unique in personality. Her new daughter Janet is a vapid blonde with a peculiar affect ("Is that a cam-a-ra?"), and her African-American son Terry as rambling loon with an affinity for troublesome pets who calls her Liz Lemon. Yep, she has her very own Tracy and Jenna to raise. And she couldn't be happier. Yay.
[Photo Credit: Ali Goldstein/NBC]
More:
'Parks and Recreation' Recap: Rules and Regulations for Achieving Gender Equality
'Glee' Recap: Scandals, Shocks and Sadie Hawkins
'Grey's Anatomy' Recap: The Phantom Menace
From Our Partners:
Celebs as Kids: Guess Who? (Celebuzz)
Craziest Celebrity Swimsuits Ever (Celebuzz)

It’s ba-ack! After six ridiculously long weeks, Glee has returned to our TV screens and to put it lightly — it was quite the whirlwind of a winter premiere. Grab your favorite party dress and find a fella because I’m here to catch you up on everything you may have missed and more in “Sadie Hawkins.”
So Here’s What You Missed on Glee:
McKinley Mix-Up's: The episode opens yet again in the halls of McKinley as Sam and Blaine — aka the crime-fighting duo known as Blam — are discussing their recent Sectionals scandal. Sam is completely convinced that the Warblers somehow cheated, and come to think of it, that is a very likely possibility. How else did they get so flipping good? All of the sudden, in a truly trouty-mouth move, Sam asks Blaine for some lip balm. “Conspiracy theories make my lips get all chapped.” Blaine looks exactly like Bambi in the meadow for a quick second, and then hands it over with a really dreamy look in his eyes. (Side-Note: Okay that was weird. But I know exactly how you feel Sam. If I don’t have my Burt’s Bees around me 24/7 I have full-fledged panic attacks.)
Blaine and Sam enter a classroom and the McKinley High Student Council meeting begins, but before Sugar could go over the budget Tina immediately interrupts her. Rude! Miss Cohen-Chang goes off on a rant about how the hot people always Noah’s Ark together for prom. (Side-Note: That’s my way of saying they couple up. Ya know? Two by two!) Her solution? “I propose the first annual McKinley High Sadie Hawkins dance!” Apparently this was a very popular idea at the newest after school group: the "Too Young to be Bitter Club". It’s members consist of Tina, Sugar, Becky, Dottie Sagitori, neck brace Cheerio, and of course Lauren Zizes. (Side-Note: Zizes was never my fave, she was always so damn negative, so I don’t really care that she’s back.) After an overwhelming vote, it’s official: McKinley High is having a turn-around dance!
Over in the Teacher’s lounge a very handsome Finn — who has clearly gotten over his distain of coffee — is once again getting some friendly advice from Coach Beiste. (Side-Note: As much as I love Dot Marie Jones, and that’s a lot, I do wish that Finn would turn to Emma for an inspirational pep talk. I desperately miss seeing that big-eyed sweetheart on my TV screen.) Beiste encourages Finn to embrace the Sadie Hawkins dance into his lesson plan for the week to empower his fierce females in the New Directions. So over in some astronomy classroom Finn announces that this week the ladies will sing to the guy that they’d like to ask to the dance.
Ladies’ Choice: First up is Tina and as the music plays Sam asks Artie who he thinks she’s about to ask. Artie immediate replies, “The only obvious choice in the room. A charming debonair figure from her past; A forbidden love she let slip through her fingers.” This would have been the perfect opportunity for a Tartie reunion but of course not that would’ve been too easy and too awesome. So who does Tina sing “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” to? Mr. Blaine Warbler, that’s who. (Side-Note: Wait, I’m sorry, what? I’m all for crushing on gay fellas — Matt Bomer, Andrew Rannells, Zachary Quinto etc. — but I would never dare to ask them out! Clearly the writers are reverting back to their season one memories because this is Mercedes and Kurt all over again. Sigh.) As the song ends Blaine looks adorably confused and everyone else in the locker room just looks uncomfortable. (Side-Note: Me too!) Tina officially pops the question and Blaine stammers out the sweetest rejection sentence ever: “Oh uh wow Tina, I don’t know what to say. Um, no. Thank you but no thank you.” And Tina looks absolutely heartbroken.
Brittany approaches Marley in the hallways and after a brief yet hilarious introduction, she gets straight to the girl talk: “I notice that every time you look at Jake you get a really sad look on your face, and if it’s quiet enough I can actually hear that your whimpering like a suckling puppy.” Brittany tells Miss Rose that she is going to help the sophomore find her “power” and ask Jake to the dance. And with the magical twirl of her cheerios skirt, the music starts and the ladies of the New Directions begin my favorite song of the night, “Tell Him.” Dressed in amazing peacock blue dresses, Marley and Brittany lead the girls in a perfectly synchronized dance and it’s a high-energy, gleefully fun performance. (Side-Note: Anytime Brittany gets the chance to sing, I get all warm and fuzzy inside. And this definitely feels like something that the Unholy Trinity would sing, so obviously I’m obsessed with it.) The song ends and Marley asks Jake, Brittany asks Sam and everyone is happy. (Side-Note: Well except the Brittana fandom. Love you guys!)
Kitty once again has her claws out, uses her cheerio powers for evil, and corners Jake in an empty hallway. “Okay I’m going to get right to it, dump the bulimic loser and go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with me.” Kitty says that she’s dropped her former virgin ways and is ready to super slut it up with Jake to fulfill his manly needs. (Side-Note: Alright Jarley fans, Becca Tobin is my homegirl, so before you attack her twitter with angry tweets please keep in mind that she is absolutely nothing like Kitty. She’s sweet and kind and has a voice like freakin angel so remember to play nice Glee-bees!)
Baby Puck (Jake) looks to old-school Puck (Noah) for some brotherly advice at the Lima Bean about which lady he should choose. In a surprising and sincere twist, Puck tells his “little brother from a different colored mother” to resist that “Jesus-loving little devil” and take sweet Marley to the dance. Puck later approaches Kitty in the hallway and says one of my favorite lines in the history of Glee: “Stay away from my little bro! He’s not interested in your skanky meow mx.” Kitty is clearly intrigued by Puck’s alpha male personality so she makes him a deal. “You want to keep me away from your brother? Give me a big old yarn ball of muscles to distract me.” And just like that Kitty is now taking Puck to the Sadie Hawkins dance. (Side-Note: And I just found my new favorite couple to ship! What should we call them? Kuck? Pitty? Hmm… I’ll let y’all decide in the comments below.)
Tina walks up to Blaine in the hallway and apologizes for stirring up old memories from when he was bullied in the past. Blaine sweetly accepts her apology but says that he still doesn’t want to go to the dance. It turns out our former bow-tie lover also has a crush on an unrequited love: Sam! Tina explains it best, “You miss Kurt you need someplace to put your love, right?” The two friends also mutually swoon over Sam’s Trouty-Mouth lips and silly impressions calling it “pure crushable crack.” (Side-Note: Agreed. I love that Blaine has a crush on Sam mostly because I know that it’s a completely non-threatening flirtation. Now Adam on the other hand… Grrr.) Tina declares that they are going to go to Sadie Hawkins together and they are going to dance their problems away.
NEXT: New Problems in New York
New Love Lust In NYC: It’s Kurt’s first week in NYADA and he’s flabbergasted that college is just like high school. (Side-note: Um false, my college experience was absolutely nothing like high school, it was way better. But obviously the Glee writers want Kurt to stay an underdog, so we’ll just go along with his little theory.) Kurt’s feeling lost and it doesn’t help that his best friend/roomie keeps blowing him off to hang out with Brody whose gigs all involve him being shirtless. (Side-Note: No one, and I mean no one, likes that girl who ditches all of her friends just because she’s dating a new guy. Really Rachel?) So Kurt figures that the best way to make some friends at a new school is to join an extracurricular activity. As Kurt circles the bulletin board, he comes across a flyer for the “Adam’s Apple” and some random British guy walks by and explains that it’s NYADA’s show choir group.
Fast-forward to the morning and Rachel comes tip-toeing out of her room and Kurt looks scandalized. “Did Brody spend the night?” he gasps. Rachel, is obnoxiously excited and says that she seized the moment and she’s “tired of second guessing something that seems so right.” (Side-Note: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.) The roomies finally have a much-needed heart-to-heart and Kurt explains that he’s interested in joining the Adam’s Apples. Rachel practically chokes on her tea and immediately says no. “Listen to me, there is a very ridged performing art hierarchy at NYADA and show choir is like the lowest of the low.” In a slightly snobby demeanor, Rachel explains that they’re not at McKinley anymore and if he joins the club then he might as well become “a dancing teapot at Disneyland.”
Kurt is once again pondering at the board of lame clubs and the same British guys shows up again and encourages him to join the club. (Side-Note: Oh crap, here we go. This is our first glimpse at the infamous “Adam.” Here are my first impressions: Ew. He’s wearing a vest, a scarf, and a beanie and absolutely none of them are falling under that hot guy hipster category. Plus, how old is he? 35? He gets a few points for that hot accent and sexy arms, but overall nope.) To get him interested in the group, Adam and the Adam’s Apples showcase their skills for Kurt in a slowed down version of “Baby Got Back.” (Side-Note: And it’s the most awkward thing I’ve seen in a really really long time. The Adam’s Apples — conceited name BTW — are like those random groups we see at regionals and sectionals every year. They’re unique, and somewhat talented, but mostly you just think to yourself ‘Aww bless their hearts for trying.’) The song finally ends and we see that Kurt has been giggling like a school girl the entire time.
Later, Rachel and Kurt are strolling along the streets of New York and Rachel is blabbing on about how she can’t wait for Kurt to find the new love of his life so that they can go on double dates together. (Side-Note: La La La! I don’t want to hear this! La Laaaa!) Kurt explains that he’s starting to have feelings for an unnamed fella and we see a series of flashbacks where Adam is showering Kurt with multiple compliments and intense stares. (Side-Note: Ugh now Adam is just like Brody; he keeps popping up everywhere like a damn whack-a-mole. Where’s my mallet?) Rachel encourages Kurt to ask Adam out by saying, “There’s nothing like being in love in New York… What can I say? Things move fast here, it’s not like high school!” (Side-Note: Okay I found my mallet, but all of the sudden I desperately want to whack Rachel. First I’ll ask her where she got that amazing coat, but then I’m going to seriously knock some sense into her!)
Shake-Up's at Sadies: The dance — beautifully decorated in a winter wonderland theme — kicks off with an amazing performance of TLC’s “No Scrubs” from the New Directions fellas. Marley and Jake are dancing. (Side-Note: At least that’s what I think they’re doing. I love her but Marley looks like a spaztic squirrel.) And the couple’s off-beat moves quickly turn into a heart-to-heart conversation. Marley tells her man that she wants to be the only girl in his life, and that she wants to take things slow, but before Jake has a chance to answer her, Marley quickly takes off. (Side-Note: I’m assuming she saw something shiny. Squirrels are always quick to chase after shiny objects.) After Beiste offers some encouragement, Sugar asks out Artie, Zizes ask out Joe, and a supposedly telepathic Kurt asks Adam to go for a drink or coffee sometime (Side-Note: I just can’t. I don’t want to talk about it. I just can’t.)
Now it’s time for the New Directions ladies to shake it again, and they take the gymnasium stage to sing a revamped yet oh-so sexy version of “Locked out of Heaven.” Kitty and Puck are flirting and oddly enough having a sweet time. Kitty tells him that she believes that he could be a great screenwriter and based off of the sheepish look on Puck's face, this is clearly the first time that someone has complimented his work. They then spend the rest of the night hooking up in the backseat of Kitty car. (Side-Note: How romantic!) Sam pulls Blaine into the locker room and the two of them begin to explain to Finn how they think that the Warblers used performance-enhancing drugs at sectionals. Their suspicious are confirmed when Trenton — aka “round-faced Warbler” — emerges from the shadows and reveals that Hunter forced the group to take steroids. Looks like there’s hope for the New Directions after all!
The Final Five: Rachel is alone in the loft with a nice little dinner for two on the table, but it’s clear that she’s beyond pissed. Brody arrives and Rachel immediately flies off the handle, yells at him for being 45 minutes late, and goes off on some wild tangent about how she’s worth more than 10 million dollars. (Side-Note: Woah girl! Slow you crazy roll. I’m not happy with you at all right now, but you’re kind of acting like a psychotic brat. The guy is holding 2-dozen white roses and just traveled to the middle of Nowhere, NY to see you. Take a pill or get back on yours because clearly something is wrong with your hormones.) Brody calms Rachel down by calling her priceless and saying that he would wait in the freezing cold all night for a train if it meant that he got to see her. (Side-Note: Okay I hate to admit it, but that was really sweet. Mostly because it reminded me of something that Finn would say. There’s a clear answer to this problem: we should all just ship Leady instead! [Leady=Leanne and Brody])
Jake tells Marley that she’s the only one for him and we now have an official Jarley couple to swoon over. Everyone is enjoying a snow-filled slow dance while Ryder sings, “I Only Have Eyes For You” and makes some flirtatious eye contact with neck brace cheerio. Over in the "Too Young To Be Bitter Club", Tina and the girls are excitedly rehashing their amazing night at Sadie Hawkins. Their newfound confidence and giggle-inducing loves have brought the sparkle back to their lives, and the club is now forever disbanded. Back in Rachel’s apartment, she and Brody are slow dancing and he tells her that he’ll never ever be late again. “I’ll get an apartment out here,” he says and Rachel counters with, “Why don’t you just move in?” (Side-Note: I’m not saying this from a shipper standpoint, I’m saying this from a gal pal standpoint: You’ve got to be freaking kidding me Rachel Barbara Berry!? Living with a gay best friend is one thing, but shacking up with a guy you just started seeing is crazy. So much for being an independent woman. Without a doubt you’re going to regret it.)
Most Heartwarming Moment: Marley and Jake becoming an official couple.
Most Heartbreaking Moment: Watching Rachel lose herself and become completely wrapped up in some guy.
Quotables:
“For the record I think you’re totally sort of hot, like if I was in a bunker with you I would totally hit that.” — Sam to Tina
“The music usually starts when I say something like ‘It’s Brittany bitch” or I do one of my magical turns.” — Brittany to Marley
“I understand the Puckerman musk is impossible for chicks to resist, we’re like chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven. Sure you know we’re not good for oyu but one whiff of our fresh baked goodness and the next thing you know you lying in bed, covered in crumbs, crying.” — Puck to Kitty
“Look I usually avoid dating Jewish guys on account of you people killing my Jesus, and I was willing to make an exception because of your biceps but I’m going to have to end this little experiment if you don’t stop dancing like an idiot.” — Kitty to Puck
Vote it out!
&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://polldaddy.com/poll/6853061/"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;What was the best song of the night?&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;
What did you think of “Sadie Hawkins”? Are you in shock over Rachel’s proposal to Brody? How are you feeling about Kitty and Puck? Sing your thoughts in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: FOX]
MORE:
‘Glee’ Recap: A Hot Mess of Holiday Cheer
Glee Recap: Second Chances and New Romances
'Glee' Recap: Sectionals, Slaps, and Second Chances
From Our Partners:
Celebs as Kids: Guess Who? (Celebuzz)
Craziest Celebrity Swimsuits Ever (Celebuzz)

The winter premiere of Glee is just hours away, so to help refresh your memory from all those McKinley-free weeks, we’ve compiled a super spoiler-y catch-up guide! We also used our powers of penmanship to create a list of the top five things you need to know about what’s to come in tonight's episode, “Sadie Hawkins,” and many storylines after. And stay tuned for scoop from Lea Michele, Naya Rivera, Darren Criss, Becca Tobin, and more! Read on for all the Glee-filled fun below!
Show: Glee
Where We Left Off: Well, besides the world’s most horrible Christmas episode here’s what you missed on Glee: Rachel absolutely killed her performance at the NYADA Winter Showcase (yay!) but then she also kissed Brody (boo!). Kurt made it into NYADA after a surprise on-the-spot audition and one adorable ice skating performance later, he and Blaine declared that no matter what, they’ll always be friends. Finn is trying to find his purpose in life so when Mr. Schue left for Washing DC to help improve the arts in schools, our former McKinley quarterback took the job as leader of the New Directions. However, despite an amazing sectionals performance, the glee club was disqualified. Why, you ask? Because Kitty was being a crazy back-stabbing cheerio, and a now-bulimic Marley passed out on stage in the middle of their performance. Yikes! Sue took over the choir room and has now declared it her new Cheerio circus ring. Brittany and Sam are now a full-fledged couple (blegh!) and Santana is still cheering her heart out at college (but returning to Lima more often than not). New kids on the block Ryder and Jake are now besties, but it’s obvious that they both like the same girl: Miss Marley Rose. And the rest of the gang (Tina, Artie, Sugar, Joe, Emma, etc.) have just been kind of chilling and not getting any screen time.
Biggest Jaw-Dropper of The Fall: There have been quite a few oh em gee jaw-droppers sprinkled throughout the season so far. Blaine cheated on Kurt. Rachel and Finn are not together. Quinn is hooking up with a married man and has absolutely no remorse. Joe is still a member of the glee club (bring back Rory!!). Tina is still not getting any screen time! And of course, the New Directions have no way of competing for Regionals or Nationals this year.
Biggest Let-Down of The Fall: That’s easy. All of heart-wrenching, tear-jerking, snot-inducing break-ups. That one episode took all of our beloved couples and completely ripped them apart in a mere 47 minutes. I don’t want to talk about it too much more because it’s still a very sore subject for me. RIP Finchel, Klaine and Brittana. I’m still keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you!
Most Improved Character: Our shining star Rachel. Whether you love the new Miss Berry or desperately miss the old one, one thing is for sure: she’s definitely changed.
Least Improved Character: Without a doubt that would be Joe. Seriously, why is he there?
What We Ultimately Want to See: Gaaah! There are just SO many things that I’d like to see happen. For Finchel, Klaine and Brittana to get back together is of course a top priority. Another must would definitely be having Finn realize what his dreams and passions entail. I’d like to see an amazing Wemma wedding and perhaps and adorable Wemma baby just for fun. I'd love for Tina to get her time to shine and Artie to find a happy relationship. I’d also like to see a lot more of the NYC storylines and I have a feeling that will definitely be happening soon because there’s a strong possibility that Santana is headed to the Big Apple! And just for funsies I’d like to see a few relatives return: Blaine’s amazing brother, Rachel’s perfect dads, and of course more Lord Tubbington.
What Would Make Us Turn Our Backs: If I don’t see at least half of the things I listed above by the end of the season then I will seriously go all Lima Heights-Adjacent on someone. Be warned.
5 Reasons You Should Keep Watching: 1. The Ladies Are in Charge: Tonight you’ll see Tina come up with the idea for a Sadie Hawkins dance — a first for McKinley High. But why is she so anxious for a turn-around dance? She’s got a crush on Blaine! Calm down Klaine fans, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Becca Tobin and I chatted about the dance and she said it’s going to be a blast for fans to watch. Especially because Kitty is ready to pounce on a new fella. Although she wouldn’t spill details, Tobin teased, “It’s somebody that I have a feeling that fans are going to be excited about.” I know it’s not Ryder or Artie, but it’s most certainly not Finn. “It’s not Cory because then my house would be burnt down!” Tobin joked. My money is on Puck! 2. Wedding Bells are Ringing! A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of visiting the Glee set (squee!) and you won’t believe what word was written on the Choir Room’s white board: “Wedding”! Executive producer Dante Di Loreto confirms, “There is a wedding in the air.” While all signs point to a Wemma wedding, Loreto was quick to say that nothing is ever simple on Glee. “There are some things that are going to shock the heck out of you.”
3. Plenty of Divalicious Songs: From Tina to Rachel to Santana, the girls of Glee are getting some fierce musical numbers and I can’t wait to hear them! Naya Rivera recently expressed her excitement for Santana’s songs, saying, “She is actually doing big big things in the episode 'Diva' that we’re shooting right now. She gets to sing three songs. One of them is a Tina Turner powerhouse song and then she has got some exciting news coming up.” And Miss Lea Michele says that fans can expect an amazing HummelBerry performance. “Oh yeah! We have a great duet coming up in an episode called 'Diva' which we just shot last week,” she teased.
4. Shirtless Fellas: In an upcoming episode, “Naked,” Rachel is trying to decide if she should go topless in a student film. But while she’s deliberating with Quinn and Santana, the men of McKinley are posing sans shirts for a calendar. Yum! They better sell those in stores because I’d buy three... thousand. 5. Reunited Couples! According to Ryan Murphy, two couples could be getting back together by Valentine’s Day, but the question is, which two? Lea Michele recently told me that she’s never given up on Finchel. “I think that you know there is always hope for them," she said. "I think that they’re meant to be!” Naya Rivera has similar thoughts about Brittana. “Yes! I feel like there’s always hope for them… And Santana said that she did not call it an official break-up.” And of course, I could not forget about Klaine! On set Darren Criss smiled and said, ““Of course I want to see them together in the end.” Squee!
Are you excited for Glee to return tonight? Which couple do you think will get back together by Valentine’s day? Sing your thoughts in comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: FOX]
MORE:
'Glee' Scoop: Naya Rivera Says There’s ‘Always Hope’ For Brittana
'Glee' Star Lea Michele Says Finn and Rachel Are 'Meant to Be'
Leanne’s Spoiler List: 'Glee' Star Naya Rivera Talks NYC and Bram, ‘Justified’ Season 4 Scoop
From Our Partners:
Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
Craziest Celebrity Swimsuits Ever (Celebuzz)