Naked! How to Find the Perfect Partner By Revealing Your True Self by David WygantPosted by: DailyOM

Are you sick and tired of trying to make your relationships work? Have you had enough of putting your own needs and desires on the back burner while you try to fulfill those of someone else? Here’s the reality of the situation: dating is not about trying to make things work, and it’s not about putting off the things you want. What dating is all about is finding the person who is the best match for you. The problem is that too many people aren’t willing to get naked, that is, to be honest with themselves and with their prospective mates. They hide who they really are inside, become frustrated with their partners, and then the relationship ends up on the rocks.

Imagine how easy dating would be if you knew exactly who you were dating from the get-go, and the other person knew the same thing. In this informative book, dating expert David Wygant takes you on a journey that will change your life forever. David will help you conquer your relationship fears and insecurities once and for all and attract the kind of people you want to meet, date, and build long-term relationships with. Being single and dating means that you have the freedom to meet the right person, and the power to finally get it right. Being single can be the most amazing adventure if you’re willing to reveal the real you—both to yourself and to others.

Within these pages, you will discover how to use the Law of Attraction in dating to your advantage, how to speak from your heart, how to understand exactly what you want out of life, and how to communicate honestly—with yourself and with your mate. By the time you're done reading, you'll be naked, too—and you'll be well on your way to finding your perfect partner.

EXCERPT FROM CHAPTER 3

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

Have you even been on a first date and found yourself sitting across from someone whom you were really attracted to? Someone whom you were just amazed by? You may have even felt like you had a crush on this person because you found him or her so attractive—whether it was because of a certain style, a comment, or a vibe. You probably thought to yourself, This is just going to be an amazing date.

Imagine this: You go to the bathroom, come back, and there’s someone new sitting at the table—someone quite different from the individual you found so attractive just a few minutes earlier. What’s different? you may be wondering. Well, your date has launched into a monologue like you’ve never heard before. The second you returned from the bathroom, this person started telling you all about the past. Not only is your date rehashing old relationships, he or she is also detailing how wronged he or she was in every single one of them.

This person is complaining, and has turned into a past-er. Now let me set something straight right at the beginning: I’m not talking about a pastor. I’m talking about past-ers: those who live in the past. These men and women constantly talk about all the awful things that happened to them five, ten, or more years ago. They just can’t let go of what was and move on with their lives. And when you discover that your date is one of these people, you may soon realize that there’s absolutely no future for the two of you.

Most past-ers are blamers—that is, they haven’t taken full responsibility for anything they’ve done. They blame everyone who wronged them for everything bad that has ever occurred in their relationships. You’ve probably heard the term poor me. Well, these people definitely fall into the “poor me” category, but I personally prefer to call them past-ers.

These individuals come in all different variations. Some have been cheated on endlessly by their lovers and can’t figure out why they always fall for those who betray them—it couldn’t possibly have anything to do with them, right? They just seem to have bad luck when it comes to dating. Or do they? Here’s something for you to chew on: I believe that the vast majority of individuals who have been cheated on actually attracted the partners who betrayed them; in fact, they enable that behavior through their own negative energy. I’ll just go ahead and say it: I’m convinced that those who complain about being cheated on are themselves 100 percent responsible for the cheating.

I know you’re probably wondering, What about those pathological cheaters who do it for the sheer enjoyment and thrill of it? Sure, there are people like that. But, if you remember the Law of Attraction in dating from Chapter 2, you’ll recall that you attract those who match the vibration you put out into the world. If you send out an energy that shows neediness and insecurity, you’ll attract individuals who themselves are needy and insecure ... and many cheaters possess these very issues. They’re constantly requiring that their egos be stroked by a series of romantic partners who tell them they are handsome, beautiful, or the greatest lovers in the world.

You must look directly at yourself and learn how to take full responsibility for all of your actions. If you don’t, you’ll never move forward. Who are you attracting into your life, and why? Is it someone who’s strong and self-confident, or is he or she weak and helpless?

***

A long time ago I learned a valuable lesson. Back in 1997, while living in Colorado, I was experiencing quite a bit of success in the car business. To be honest, I’d become quite greedy at this point in my life. I’d built a solid company and was making very good money, but I decided that I wanted to move to California, where I was planning to build an empire. In fact, one of my lifelong dreams was to live in Los Angeles. But instead, I moved to San Diego, a place I’d never previously considered calling home.

After making the move, I proceeded to get involved in a couple of different ventures. To make a long story short, one partner took advantage of me and stole my money. This put me in a downward spiral, and I went from bad to worse, financially speaking. Eventually, the whole thing just came crashing down on me. I ended up with maybe $20,000 in cash, and everything else was gone. My credit was destroyed, my businesses were gone, my life savings was decimated, and I was a complete mess.

I can remember sitting in my attorney’s office after the shit had hit the fan. He looked at me and said, “We’ve got a couple of options. One, we can chase this guy down and try to recover some of the money. But that will cost you money, and we may very well never get a dime out of him. You’ve already tried and were unsuccessful, so you know that the funds have probably disappeared.

“Two, you can take the money you’ve got left and start all over again.”

I looked at him and replied, “I’ll never be able to move forward if I’m always looking into the past. So I don’t want to look back—because if I go after him, which means thinking about this money and giving it energy, I’ll never be able to make new money and embrace new opportunities. I’ll take my $20,000, and I’ll take my chances on my future in L.A.”

And that’s what I did.

A year later, when everything was running really well and I was back to making a healthy income, I ran into the guy who ripped me off. At this point, I was feeling good about myself—full of energy and confidence. But when I looked at him, I could plainly see that he’d become old, tired, and haggard. The negative things he’d done to me, and likely to others, were running him down. While I had moved on and was putting my energy into the present and future, this guy was stuck in the past—chained down by all his guilt.

Here’s another example. I once lent some money to a close friend, who proceeded to never pay me back. I was angry with him for a few years, which in turn kept me from attracting the money to pay myself back. Instead of letting go of the situation, I was mired in it, and I couldn’t get on with my life. That all changed when this friend called and asked me to tell him: “I love you, and I forgive you for what you did to me.” As soon as I did that, it was like a dark cloud lifted from over my head. In that moment, I finally realized that our friendship was more important than the debt, and I decided to let go of the anger I felt toward him. I was even able to attract the money to repay myself for the financial hole I’d created.

You can use this example in every aspect of your life, especially dating. Every time you look backward, you’re angry, or you’re frustrated about an ex—whether you talk about him or her on a date with another person, or are someone who jumps into past-er mode—you’re simply putting negative energy out into the universe. You waste your time focused on the people who have wronged you, cheated on you, not called you back, broken your heart, taken money from you, or whatever it may be.

Who cares? Your date certainly doesn’t. And you shouldn’t either.

The longer you exhaust your energy complaining about all the people who have hurt you, the longer you will be stuck there and not processing the path to move forward. Don’t get me wrong—your past is wonderful. It’s where you learned all your lessons about life, and it’s been absolutely vital to your becoming the most powerful version of yourself. That’s the positive side.
However, too many of us get so stuck there that we’re unable to unlock the energy that’s within each one of us and become free again.

If you’re obsessed with all the men or women who have ever compromised your trust in past relationships, I can guarantee that right now you’re having a hard time initiating new romances, because you haven’t processed certain issues. All of your relationships offer lessons to learn, whether they’re with the person who ripped you off or broke your heart. Each one had energy that you welcomed into your life.

This excerpt has been taken from Naked! How to Find the Perfect Partner By Revealing Your True Self by David Wygant. It is published by Hay House, (Available now) and available at all bookstores or online at: www.hayhouse.com