A little getaway may do you both some good

Ruth Z>W. Johnson

Photo submitted

By Ruth Z.W. Johnson / Special to the Times-News

Published: Monday, August 4, 2014 at 08:00 AM.

It was the winter of ’95, and we were “urban missionaries” in Brooklyn, New York. Our daughter Rachel had been living in North Carolina almost five months — first as my mom’s caregiver during her last few months of life, and then to ease my dad’s adjustment to life without his wife of 60 years.

The closer it got to Christmas, the more I longed to have my daughter home … and then I conceived the idea that she should bring Daddy with her. At 84, he was still in good physical health and the encroaching signs of Alzheimer’s were few and far between. It took some persuading of my sisters, but they finally agreed to let him make the trip. Two weeks before Christmas, Randy drove me and our other three children to Pennsylvania Station in Manhattan to meet Daddy and Rachel as they disembarked from the sleek Amtrak car. Daddy had not only endured the 10-hour trip; he had thoroughly enjoyed his first train ride. According to Rachel, the crew had given him the royal treatment.

It was almost midnight — way past a farmer’s bedtime — when we arrived back at our apartment on a busy Brooklyn Street. Daddy must have been excited, as he stayed awake until two in the morning, talking about the trip. He finally dozed off, but awoke at 4 a.m. asking, “Why are all these cars driving on Boyd Wright Road?” (That’s the road that bears his name and on which he had lived most of his life.)

The next two weeks we went on the town, showing Daddy the sites from the decked-out- for-Christmas Rockefeller Center to the imposing Statue of Liberty. He appeared to thoroughly enjoy every moment, although I suspect I was the one who stored the most memories in my heart.

A little reminiscing, there … but my thoughts today are on vacations and the elderly. Should you or shouldn’t you? Sometimes we relegate seniors, especially ones with medical problems, to staying at home. Of course, caregivers need and deserve a vacation from their responsibilities, but a mini-vacation or weekend trip for you and your charge may be just what the doctor ordered. That is the first guideline for travel with your loved one: check with the doctor to see if there are physical or mental limitations that would prohibit travel.

Once you get the green light, if feasible, involve Mom or Dad in the planning stage. Anticipating a trip can be almost as much fun as actually taking one. Should you choose the beach or the mountains or maybe the short-drive to a quintessential Southern city such as Danville, Va.? Consider interests and preferences along with endurance levels and accessibility when selecting a destination.

When I first saw the steep escalators at Penn Station, I panicked, imagining Daddy tumbling backward. Then my husband pointed out the optional elevators.

It was the winter of ’95, and we were “urban missionaries” in Brooklyn, New York. Our daughter Rachel had been living in North Carolina almost five months — first as my mom’s caregiver during her last few months of life, and then to ease my dad’s adjustment to life without his wife of 60 years.

The closer it got to Christmas, the more I longed to have my daughter home … and then I conceived the idea that she should bring Daddy with her. At 84, he was still in good physical health and the encroaching signs of Alzheimer’s were few and far between. It took some persuading of my sisters, but they finally agreed to let him make the trip. Two weeks before Christmas, Randy drove me and our other three children to Pennsylvania Station in Manhattan to meet Daddy and Rachel as they disembarked from the sleek Amtrak car. Daddy had not only endured the 10-hour trip; he had thoroughly enjoyed his first train ride. According to Rachel, the crew had given him the royal treatment.

It was almost midnight — way past a farmer’s bedtime — when we arrived back at our apartment on a busy Brooklyn Street. Daddy must have been excited, as he stayed awake until two in the morning, talking about the trip. He finally dozed off, but awoke at 4 a.m. asking, “Why are all these cars driving on Boyd Wright Road?” (That’s the road that bears his name and on which he had lived most of his life.)

The next two weeks we went on the town, showing Daddy the sites from the decked-out- for-Christmas Rockefeller Center to the imposing Statue of Liberty. He appeared to thoroughly enjoy every moment, although I suspect I was the one who stored the most memories in my heart.

A little reminiscing, there … but my thoughts today are on vacations and the elderly. Should you or shouldn’t you? Sometimes we relegate seniors, especially ones with medical problems, to staying at home. Of course, caregivers need and deserve a vacation from their responsibilities, but a mini-vacation or weekend trip for you and your charge may be just what the doctor ordered. That is the first guideline for travel with your loved one: check with the doctor to see if there are physical or mental limitations that would prohibit travel.

Once you get the green light, if feasible, involve Mom or Dad in the planning stage. Anticipating a trip can be almost as much fun as actually taking one. Should you choose the beach or the mountains or maybe the short-drive to a quintessential Southern city such as Danville, Va.? Consider interests and preferences along with endurance levels and accessibility when selecting a destination.

When I first saw the steep escalators at Penn Station, I panicked, imagining Daddy tumbling backward. Then my husband pointed out the optional elevators.

Accommodations for people with disabilities are readily available in most public places. If you do not see what you need, ask. My experience has been that good employees go out of their way to serve seniors and ensure their safety and comfort.

Keep in mind that some elders, especially those who require a consistent routine or are easily stressed, are not good candidates for travel. Another important consideration is your own state of mind and physical condition. If you find yourself dreading, rather than looking forward to a trip, it is probably best to stay home. On the other hand, a well-planned getaway can do a world of good for you and your loved one along with providing the setting for special, life-long memories.

Caring Trip: Have you and the person you care for experienced a meaningful excursion together? I would love to hear all about it. See addresses below.

Ruth Z.W. Johnson has more than 12 years’ experience, both personally and professionally, as a caregiver.