Rainbow Dash Presents: Cupcakes/Transcript

This fanfic may contain boring warnings, and you shouldn't read it if you're bored by warnings.

Rainbow Dash: I guess you're better try back here, Pinkie Pie, I'm not sure if I'm up for this.

Pinkie Pie: Nonononono. No worries. Do not worry. Pinkie is here for you in case you are made bored.

Rainbow Dash: OK, Pinkie Pie, I trust you.

Rainbow Dash: The air was warm, the sun was shining, and everypony in Ponyville was having a super day. The town square was bustling and crowded, and busy ponies filled the streets. Al the pony folks seemed to have somewhere specific to be, all except Rainbow Dash, one last soul in a little fish bowl.

Rainbow Dash: She tore freely through the air, speeding one way, then the next, buzzing tree tops and racing the wind. She's so great. The blue pegasus hooped over school yard, much to the delight of the children. Then it climbed several hundred feet into the air and dove! Streaking downward as fast as she could, seconds before hitting the ground, her wings flew open, and she folded up back into the clear blue. Rainbow Dash was awesome.

Rainbow Dash: The children go back inside, and write little stories about how they want to be Rainbow Dash Tyrannosauruses when they grow up.

Rainbow Dash: Suddenly, Dash remembered, that she had somewhere to be besides the fish bowl. She was supposed to meet with Pinkie Pie in five minutes. Give and take a couple hours, since Dash didn't have a watch. Dash had gotten so caught up in her exercises, that she nearly forgotten to meet Pinkie Pie at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie hadn't said why, or what they'd be doing, but Dash knew that with Pinkie Pie, it could be anything. That day, Dash might save the world.

Rainbow Dash: Dash wasn't sure if she really wanted to go though. She was so engaged with her stunts, that she thought about blowing off Pinkie Pie to continue flying, but Dash didn't know what day it was, it was probably good to go somewhere with the calendar anyway. Besides, Pinkie said it was going to be something special just for the two of them. Dash considered and thought "Nah, why not." What did she have to lose? It might be more prancing. Pinkie might have found a bunch more stuff to pull on ponies, they had so much fun the last time. Dash kicked in overdrive to make up for the last time, and she speeded to her appointment, which at this time was completely overdue.

Rainbow Dash: When dash walked into the store, she was immediately greeted by Pinkie Pie, who was bouncing in excitement.

Rainbow Dash: "Sorry for being so late, Pinkie Pie. I tried to keep track of time through the sun, but it's super bright, and you're not supposed to look directly at it", Dash apologized.

Pinkie Pie: "That's okay, you're here now, what is a few more minutes."

Pinkie Pie: Pinkie has been so excited thinking of all the fun things pinkie is going to do. She had not stopped rubbing her hooves together, since she woke up. She almost forgot to breathe today as she has been so adjective-riented.

Rainbow Dash: Pinkie laughed, and Dash laughed too. Dash had always appreciated Pinkie's friendly outgoing way of life. If Pinkie was this worked up, whatever she had planned must be good.

Pinkie Pie: "So, are you ready to get started, Rainbow Dash? Pinkie has everything all ready for your demise… That is to said, Pinkie means your surprise. Yes."

Rainbow Dash: Dash psyched herself up. "Yep a doodle, Pinkie Pie. So what you got planned? We gonna prank somebody? I've got a couple of good ones I've been thinking about, involving a gorilla suit. But maybe you have got some stunts you think I should try? You know, involving a gorilla suit? Or maybe…"

Rainbow Dash: "Wow, this stuff is gonna be a huge hit at your parties" — Dash said, rolling over onto her back.

Rainbow Dash: The room was spinning all around like crazy, and Dash was pretty sure she was going to bump into something, if she stayed upright. Also, Dash has known to have a bit of a barfing problem.

Rainbow Dash: "You put too much dizzy stuff into cupcakes though." — The amazing flying gorilla Dash pointed out, helpfully. She just went on lame there. Actually, she felt kinda sick. Pinkie definitely used way too much dizzy stuff. That and too much sugar. It first seems like a good idea to first eat sweets and alcohol, but combining the two is actually pretty awful after a while. Too many sweets will make you sick, and then too much booze will do the same thing. It super sucks.

Rainbow Dash: OK, waiting for what? Cause honestly I'm beginning to doubt the integrity of the story here. See, cause unless you're making a surprise examination, because I forgot an appointment, I'm not sure I'm totally cool with where this is going. Gorilla Dash is like "No, Pinkie Pie." So she said "no", okay?

Pinkie Pie: Shut up to Pinkie Pie. We're waiting for you to be sober.

Rainbow Dash: "Oh. OK, can I get some water?" — Dash asks.

Pinkie Pie: "No!", Pinkie says. Yes.

Rainbow Dash: "I have to go to the bathroom", Dash says.

Pinkie Pie: "You should have gone before you came over here", Pinkie says.

Rainbow Dash: "But I did, and then I have to goooo. Pinkieeeee!"

Pinkie Pie: "Fine." Pinkie unties you, and you go to the bathroom.

Rainbow Dash: Ha, I totally get a drink while I'm there. Outsmarted by the super intelligent Gorilla Dash, Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash returns and Pinkie reties you. Then you get better from the poisoned cupcake. You are conscious again.

Rainbow Dash: Oh, hey, speaking of cupcakes, am I not I supposed to help you bake some? "Can I help you bake cupcakes", Dash asks.

Pinkie Pie: "Yes", Pinkie says, yes. You do help Pinkie. She requires the special ingredient. A DASH of special ingredient, one might even say. Muhehe, muhehe, Muhehehahaha.

Rainbow Dash: Or a PINCH, even.

Pinkie Pie: You are resented by Pinkie. — Is cupcakes in any window? — No.

Pinkie Pie: Pinkie reveals a cart on trolleys, contain a sharp medical tools and knifes, carefully organized and wickedly sharp, as well as large medical bag. There's also the frog.

Rainbow Dash: I can't see it, it's too dark, don't you remember the lights are off?

Pinkie Pie: Well, Pinkie goes to turn on the lights.

Rainbow Dash: You bang your shins again on your way over there.

Pinkie Pie: Shut up. Pinkie likes to bang her shins.

Pinkie Pie: The lights come on, and the room is decorated with typical Pinkie Pie Flair. Colorful streamers, of dried entrails hung from the ceiling, brightly painted skulls of all sizes were attached to the walls, organs done with open pastel were filled with helium and tied to the backs of chairs. The tables and chares themselves are made from bone and skin, and they were outrageously uncomfortable.

Pinkie Pie: Pinkie is better than the stupid pharmacist! She also wears a dress cut off from dried skin, embezzled with cutie marks. On her back fluttered six pegasus wings, all of different colors. Pinkie skipped around, cluttering together a necklace of several unicorn horns.

Pinkie Pie: "Do you like it?" Pinkie Pie asked. "Pinkie made it herself."

Rainbow Dash: "I don't know. What are you supposed to be?" Dash asked. "I'm a gorilla."

Rainbow Dash: Na-ah. That was Mr. Cake that went to the convention. Mrs. Cake is right here.

Pinkie Pie: "Uhm. This is not what it looks like", says Pinkie.

Rainbow Dash: "Pinkie Pie, can I talk to you upstairs?", Mrs. Cake asks.

Pinkie Pie: "Okay, okay." Pinkie goes upstairs, but Pinkie places the frog upon your chest. She commands you to assimilate.

Rainbow Dash: "Ok." Rainbow Dash says she'll try.

Rainbow Dash: You go upstairs, and Mrs. Cake is like "Pinkie Pie, did you remember to take stock on the inventory like I asked you?"

Pinkie Pie: Rainbow Dash, you think you have cornered Pinkie, but she have plan for an emergency. Yes. Pinkie deploys the life raft!

Rainbow Dash: It's no use. She's immune!

Pinkie Pie: Impossible!

Pinkie Pie: "Mrs. Cake, Pinkie can explain…"

Rainbow Dash: "Pinkie Pie", Mrs. Cake does the explaining, "When I was a filly, we didn't do this kind of things. I'm not judging you, but we let you rent a room at Sugarcube, and that's all. You have to pay extra to do this sort of things in our basement."

Pinkie Pie: "How much extra? Pinkie demands to know."

Rainbow Dash: "Well, enough to cover the cost of, like, finding an entirely new storage space and moving all the stuff down there, to the new place", she says, "So it costs a lot extra."

Pinkie Pie: "How much has Pinkie paid?"

Rainbow Dash: "Not enough for all that", Mrs. Cake says.

Pinkie Pie: "Curses."

Rainbow Dash: "Also, we'd appreciate if you didn't do things like this during business hours", she goes on, "you're supposed to be watching the registry, and besides, it scares customers away."

Rainbow Dash: Ok, Rainbow Dash goes upstairs and heads for the door. Another day of Pinkie Pie's playtime complete.

Pinkie Pie: "Dash will come back after a little tonight, after closing time. Yes."

Rainbow Dash: "Well, actually, Pinkie Pie", Dash says, "I feel like things are moving kinda fast, I mean, you came on really strong, and I've got a lot of stuff going on in my life, I just need time to think, you know. Besides, I'm saving myself for the Wonderbolts."

Pinkie Pie: "But Pinkie plans things to you the Wonderbolts will not conceive!"

Rainbow Dash: "Ok, wow, desperate much", Dash says, "It's not about what Wonderbolts will do, it's about the Wonderbolts"

Pinkie Pie: "No! But you have to come back. Yes. The story! You cannot betray Pinkie!"

Rainbow Dash: "Sorry, dude, Dash goes home. No hard feelings or anything, she probably just wasn't expecting this so suddenly."

Pinkie Pie: "No. Pinkie will have Dash again, if is the last thing she remembers to do this day"

Pinkie Pie: "Dash. Pinkie takes you to a gay bar. Pinkie takes you to a gay bar."

Rainbow Dash: "You gonna have to do better than that, Pinkie Pie."

--- Song sung by Pinkie Pie ---

Ooga-chaka, ooga ooga ooga-chaka

Pinkie has this feeling

Deep inside of Pinkie

Dash, you just don't realize

What you do to Pinkie.

When you hold Pinkie

In your arms so tight

You let Pinkie know

What you feel like.

Piiiinkie Pie!

Is hooked on a feeling.

She's high on believing.

That Dash goes home with Pinkie!

Pinke brings Dash candy!

Get inside her van!

Come to Pinkie's basement

To execute Pinkie's plan!

Pinkie brings drugs for you, girl

To put inside your spine.

Soon your feathered wings

Will be Pinkie Pie's!

In Pinkie's basement

We are all alone

Pinkie will gut you!

It turns Pinkie on!

Piiiinkie Pie!

Is hooked on a feeling.

She's high on believing.

That Dash goes home with Pinkie!

Pinkie Pie: "Come one with Pinkie! Yes"

Rainbow Dash: Oh man, Dash is like super impressed, you can see it all over her face. No one has ever done anything like this before. But still, she's like, I don't know, Pinkie, I mean, there's a lot of conflicts, like, the first big one is that you're not a Wonderbolt. The other one is… well, like, the biggest thing is that you're not a Wonderbolt, and I don't know if I could ever overcome that with anyone.

Rainbow Dash: No, it's mine, I wrote my name on it after they got turned around backwards then one time. I was worried they might fall off or something.

Pinkie Pie: Too bad! Pinkie erases your name and puts Pinkie on it.

Rainbow Dash: Why, Pinkie Pie? Oh my gosh, you've been possessed by the Nightmare Night heebie-jeebies! You have to fight them Pinkie. Don't let them in! Try to remember the good times!

Pinkie Pie: What good times?

Rainbow Dash: Remember... Remember that day when we were pranking everyone, and you tried to give me a high five, and I kept moving my hoof, so you broke my leg?

Pinkie Pie: That was a good time. Yes.

Rainbow Dash: That's the old Pinkie Pie. That's the Pinkie Pie that I felt in love with. Come on, keep fighting it. Remember that time when I borrowed your mp3 player, and replaced all the songs with those ponies helping each other drive monster trucks over a hot tub of a bunch of other ponies that were hugging?

Pinkie Pie: Yes. Pinkie cuts your other wing off!

Rainbow Dash: Aaaaaa, oh my gosh! You're not fighting very hard!

Pinkie Pie: Well, maybe Pinkie does as ever she pleases. Yes.

Rainbow Dash: Well, you know what? You know how that makes me feel?

Pinkie Pie: How does it make you feel?

Rainbow Dash: Well, I'm sorry I have to say this, but it makes me feel awfully disappointed. But... I still love you.

Pinkie Pie: Well, do you want to know how Pinkie feels?

Rainbow dash: Regret?

Pinkie Pie: No! Pinkie feels she will turn your wings into a hat!

Rainbow Dash: Well, that is just… Actually, I guess you're gonna have the fastest hat in all of Equestria.

Pinkie Pie: Yes. Pinkie will put drinks in it, and then she set victory in her speedy hat.

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, ok, well, now that I understand what you're doing, I guess I'm not so disappointed. Maybe a little boozy though.

Pinkie PIe: Pinkie Pie is not treating for shock.

Rainbow Dash: Well, I am pretty shocked anyway.

Pinkie Pie: So…

Rainbow Dash: So... you gonna let me borrow that hat some time?

Pinkie Pie: Yes. When you're dead. Pinkie kills Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash: Ouch! Ok. I guess I'm a ghost now.

Pinkie Pie: How is it?

Rainbow Dash: Well, I don't know. I'll try taking a nap and not doing my job, and then I tell you if it's pretty much the same thing as always.