Colin Kaepernick on Malcolm X, his parents, speaking freely and if he regrets anything from the last few months

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Colin Kaepernick talks with Ericka Huggins, a former leading member of the Black Panther Party, at his Know Your Rights camp at Impact Hub in Oakland on October 29, 2016 (Marcus Thompson/ Bay Area News Group)

SANTA CLARA — This conversation occurred basically as an add-on to Colin Kaepernick’s regular weekly media session in the 49ers locker room. I followed him back to his locker, and we just kept talking.

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My main focus: How did the Kaepernick that we knew from several years ago — who never liked speaking up on anything — turn into the man we are listening to and watching now and how does he feel about the entire evolution and experience?

We got into some of that in his general session, and then we had this conversation.

—COLIN KAEPERNICK interview transcript/

-Q: Do you like the term “woke”? Do you respect the word or the description?

-KAEPERNICK: I mean, people throw out different terms. I guess it’s whatever your opinion is. (Laughs.)

-Q: Do you feel “woke”? Or does that simplify things too much?

-KAEPERNICK: Uh, about 5:45 in the morning I feel woke. (Laughs.)

-Q: Is there anything you’ve done or said that you’ve regretted the last few months? Like the pig socks?

-KAEPERNICK: No, I don’t regret anything I’ve done. Because everything I’ve done has been thought through and with intention.

-Q: Now everything you do gets a reaction. Not just talking about the TIME magazine cover, but everything. Did you expect that to happen once this started?

-KAEPERNICK: No, I didn’t, actually. It’s something that someone asked me why I was doing something and I answered honestly.

I guess there were a lot of people that felt strongly in agreement with me, a lot of people that didn’t agree with me very strongly. And continue.

For me it’s something that I’ll speak my mind, I’ll say what I believe is the truth, and I’ll continue to do that.

-Q: Has it felt heavy at any time?

-KAEPERNICK: No. It’s, to me, very liberating to be able to say what you want, say what you truly believe, and not have to hide what your beliefs are for any reason.

-Q: Can it translate to the football field?

-KAEPERNICK: I think it translates throughout your entire life, who you are. Because you don’t have to hold anything back. There’s nothing to hide, there’s nothing to think you said this one time and now you think that … and you have to go back on what you said.

No, this is what I believe. And I’m going to represent it the best way I know how.

-Q: Has it been tricky with your parents at all? I know they support you 100%, but they’re both white. Has it been complicated with them?

-KAEPERNICK: I have real conversations with my parents all the time. And have had for a long time. So it’s not complicated.

But there are some things that, as white parents, that they don’t understand as a black man. And it’s a difference of perspective.

It’s very hard for me to understand what specifically it’s like to be a Latino, or an Asian person. I mean, I can’t represent their beliefs better than they can and I can’t tell them how they should feel about their beliefs, because they’re the ones living and experiencing it.

So it’s a constant conversation, constant dialogue that not only do I have with my parents but I have with many people.

-Q: Would you call this a journey of self-awareness for you? You’ve gone through things and this is where you are now, and comfortable with it?

-KAEPERNICK: To me, it’s a constant evolution. Trying to grow, trying to evolve, trying to become that best person I can be. That best man I can be.

Some of that comes with experience, some of it comes with gaining knowledge, some of it comes with studying. All of those things play a part in it, that ultimately make you who you are.

And for me, I just want to continue to be able to build and grow on that.

-Q: Is there a writer or another influence that really helped trigger something in you?

-KAEPERNICK: For me, I’ve read a lot of different authors, a lot of different writers, looked at a lot of different historical figures.

For me, Malcolm X is always someone that I’ve looked to and his story and what he did for people of color. And his evolution and how he evolved, the man he was, the man he became, is very powerful.

He spoke truth regardless of what people thought about it. And for me, that’s very powerful to be able to do.

-Q: He also went to jail and came out. Did you ever feel you’ve… not that you’ve been to jail… but you’ve had some tough times here. Did that tough time shape some of your thoughts now?

-KAEPERNICK: I think everything in your life shapes who you become and what you are. But for me, once again, I’m trying to continue to grow. I’m trying to continue to be the best person I can be.

And everything that happens in my life is going to impact and affect that.

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