It’s time

A very well dressed, good-spirited Kristen Stewart attended Scream 2010 the other night to collect some awards for Twilight. My girl crush is alive and well. Stewart was joined on stage by co-stars Jackson Rathbone and Nikki Reed, also her ex best friend. Wonder how well that went over. Two years ago – Christ, has it been that long? – the two were inseparable. Girl sh-t is the best sh-t especially when it’s over boys.

The entire group will soon be reunited as production is scheduled to begin shortly on the fourth and fifth films in the franchise. Bella and Edward get married, there’s some sex, and then a hybrid baby, and then a really lame war which will actually play ever so slightly better on film because, well, someone other than Stephenie Meyer wrote the screenplay.

Having said that, for the faithful, there is still So.Much.Cheese for you to enjoy. Like the wedding toasts. The wedding toasts in Part 1 are perhaps the most cliché and uninspired words you will hear next year. And when delivered by Kellan Lutz, Jesus Christ it’ll be a great time, to go and laugh yourself silly with your friends. Or squeeze their hands from the pain of the fontrum. It really depends on how you react to such things.

If it were me, because you never know what will end up in editing, I would cut that sh-t out and leave the sex scenes intact. Before that though, if they stay true to the script, Edward and Carlisle have a birds and the bees talk that is supposed to be, I guess, the vampire advice equivalent to human boys and “baseball”. When does a boy think about baseball? Baseball is for bringing you back from the brink. Therefore Edward Cullen’s premature ejaculation = crushing his wife to death when he’s taking her virginity, preventable, according to his father, by thoughts of baseball.

And what’s Kristen Stewart looking forward to? She spoke to Access Hollywood, video is below, about being excited about heading back to work on the blockbuster series, and perhaps some of that has to do with shooting those highly anticipated intimate moments.

There are three of them in total in Part 1 right now. The first is in the water, and they get the business started with a super cringe line, as Bella walks naked into the ocean and looks at the moon and sighs that “it’s beautiful”, to which Edward replies, while looking at her and obviously not the moon...

“Very.”

See, I just laughed out loud writing that.

Happily though, they dispose of the dialogue quickly and then it’s supposed to be all limbs and writhing and wrapping around each other from the sea to the house and much of it is relayed, rather cleverly actually, in flashback form. After they show the initial hook up from beach to bedroom, we jump to the morning after as Edward is constipated about something and Bella is examining her body. Cut to her memories of the night before, the touching, and his kissing the length of her body, and the clenching, and her head thrown back, and his struggle to, um, think about baseball, and her resulting pleasure, and some furniture gets broken. It actually reads pretty erotic, and if they cut it the way it’s written, it should be even hotter to watch. Even I would enjoy watching it if they stay with that spirit.

She keeps begging for it afterwards, and the two following love scenes are more of the same soft porny vibe which, to be honest, totally impressed me because having blue balled it for 3 straight movies, I thought they would pull that sh-t all over again. On paper though, they appear to be totally going for it. Which means that’s how they’ll shoot it. So you’ll just have to hope they don’t f-ck around with it in the edit suite.

More later or tomorrow during the live blog. This Bieber laser tag drama is eating up my f-cking day.