"As we enjoy great advantages from the inventions of others, we should be glad of the opportunity provided to serve self-interest when Al Gore created the internet; and we should also thank Mark Zuckerburg and Jack Dorsey for creating Facebook and Twitter out of the kindness of their big hearts and not the thinness of their small wallets."

-Ben Franklin, Autobiography (1742)

Friday, May 11, 2012

William Short: FratStar of the Revolution

Until a recent breakthrough by
leading William Short scholar Anthony Noble, very little was known about the
man that Thomas Jefferson referred to as his “adoptive son”. William Short was
a Founding Father, a brilliant diplomat, a philanthropic millionaire, but what
is without doubt his greatest contribution to our country, and to the world,
has lain in obscurity since his death in 1849. Jefferson may have drafted the
Declaration, Madison may have penned the constitution, but these
accomplishments are trivial when compared to the lasting legacy of William
Short’s greatest achievement: the development of the modern Fraternity Rush
process. At Lost&Founders, the gravity of this event and its significance
to the very fabric of Americana, does not escape us. This article seeks to shed
light on the man who did more to shape the American experience than the rest of
the Generation of 1776 combined (excluding of course Dolley Madison who brought
ice cream to America, frickya).

William Short attended the College
of William & Mary between 1777 and 1781. There, he was a founder and
president of Pi Beta Kappa, America’s first fraternity. Now, fraternities at
the time were unrecognizable from the beacons of chivalrous virtue we know and
admire today. In his day, frats like ΠΒΚ were more like literary and debate
societies where brothers could partake in intelligent dialogue in an
environment free of the distractions of the outside world. No beer, no biddies,
these brothers literally had a 0:0 chill-to-pull ratio. Short was quick in
realizing that the solution to this problem was coming up with a more selective
process by which to regulate who would be allowed into the fraternity. Only by
fostering a sense of brotherhood, of elitism, and of chronic alcoholism, would
America’s young men be prepared to perpetuate the Republican Experiment.

In order to understand the
influences that went into making Fraternity Rush the flawless institution it is
today, it is necessary to first examine the events in William Short’s life that
helped shape the process. In dividing
Short’s life into phases reminiscent to those of Rush, historian Anthony Noble
has managed to make crystal clear the connections that firmly tie Short’s quest
to be American Minister to France with the quest thousands of college freshman
undertake every year to score a bid at a top tier fraternity.

Open House & First Round
Invites - William Short, like rushees today, showed up on the political
scene looking to meet the boyz in blazers. He quickly befriends Jefferson, who shares
his alma mater, and attempts to butter up to “brothers’ like Madison and
Monroe. Short is given a figurative “first round invite” when he is asked to
serve as Jefferson’s personal secretary in Paris. Like overeager freshmen
across the nation, he sets his sights on a top-tier position, in this case, the
position of American Minister to France.

Second Round Invites- Rush
doesn’t always work the way we want it to. William Short, snubbed from his top
choice, settles on a respectable-enough position as a minister to the
Netherlands. It is from his time there that we get timeless Rush traditions,
namely, booze n’ biddiez. A hot affair with a married duchess named Rosalie?
This is what college is all about.

Third Round Invites & a Bid-
So France didn’t work out, he ends up getting replaced in the Netherlands, and
then he’s snubbed from Spain. Short must’ve been thinking that maybe GRΣΣK
life isn’t for him after all… that is, until he gets his bid. With the election
of Thomas Jefferson to the presidency, William Short is promised a position as
the first American Minister to Russia.

Pledging- After being
snubbed from his top choice, and from his second, and from his third…. William
Short finally feels as if he’s found the “house” for him. It is his next experience that gives birth to
the traditions of hazing that every rising member must endure in the name of
brotherhood. President Jefferson submitted Short’s nomination, but he sent him
over to Paris before the Senate had a chance to confirm the nomination. Short
spends months in Paris living out of his own pocket, struggling to placate
Russian ministers, all the while unable to conduct official business. Finally,
the Senate rejects Short’s nomination. He is left poor, lost abroad, and at the
mercy of angry Russians. These feelings
are the very same that fraternity brothers attempt to inculcate in their
pledges today. Vodka has overtime come to replace the presence of actual
Russians.

#Fratlyfe- So William Short, ruined and embarrassed,
returns to America and decides to put diplomacy behind him. Once home, he
decides to do something no Virginian has ever done, he spends less than his
income and invests the rest of this money, eventually making millions (unlike
those GDIs Jefferson and Madison who died in overwhelming debt). Short would
live in affluence until his death in 1849. He died at 90, but not before
returning to William & Mary. There, he partnered with signer of the
Declaration, Benjamin Rush. The two drafted a process by which members would be
initiated into Pi Beta Kappa that was largely based on the events of Short’s
life that most contributed to his later successes. Short would pass away just
as his final plan was set in motion, leaving Benjamin Rush with all the credit
(including the processes’ namesake). Today, we owe everything to William Short.
Although he never got the position of Minister to France, no one could argue
that the title of Original FratStar is his and his alone.