I Edited My Poem "i Want To Tell You A Story" Which One Do You Like?

I posted the first version right after I wrote it and then I redid it, which do you like best one or too?
I WANT TO TELL YOU A STORY (one)
I want to tell you a story,
I want to tell you a story that will make your life better.
I want to tell you a story of pain,
I want to tell you a story of survival.
I want to tell you a story of hope,
I want to tell you a story of happiness.
I want to tell you a story of love,
I want to tell you a story that will make you feel better.
I want to tell you a story of success,
I want to tell you a story that will make everything bad go away.
I want to save your life
That is the story I want to tell you

I WANT TO TELL YOU A STORY (TOO)
I want to tell you a story,
One that will make your life better.
I want to tell you a story of pain,
To tell you a story of survival.
One that will give you hope,
I want to tell you a story of happiness.
To tell you a story of love,
One that will make you feel better.
I want to tell you a story of success,
To tell you a story that will make everything bad go away.
I want to save your life
This is the story that I want to tell you.

More From People Who Want People to Share Their Poetry

I found this poem on the street the other day and I thought it was nice.
I swear she was right here
She Was here somewhere yesterday
Out there somewhere diving up and down the misty bay
Her face looked like an angel, she looked something unique
I swear she was a mermaid, she...

"morning book "
she reads her morning book
in the autumn sunlight
and within our conversation she smiles radiantly
gives glimpse of hearts truth
natural beauty rendered of the soul
is a masterpiece that no artist of word or image
in subtle colors fine lines can duplicate
her...

Didn't Have a Chance
This confusion will not cease,
You've broken me in many ways.
Will I ever get any peace?
Have you got nothing at all to say?
Did you think you were doing right by me?
Did I even matter to you at all?
I was just your scapegoat to sanity,
It didn't...

"under sweet summer sun"
sweet summer thick with late day sun
all the the children running with laughter's an joys
the men plowing in the rich soil
the women hands to hips all the washin to be done
hear em singing as each stitch laid to cloth
hear em laughing under the beautiful...