Jezebel- A South African man who’d had his penis destroyed in a botched ceremonial circumcision has gotten a new lease on his sex life and is allegedly becoming a father. The Washington Post reports that the unidentified man, who’s the recipient of the first successful penis transplant in history is doing so well in his recovery that he’s already impregnated his girlfriend, just six months after surgery.The man’s new penis, harvested from a donor and augmented with abdominal skin, marks the first time that a transplanted penis has achieved full functioning. This procedure is especially necessary in South Africa, according to The Post, due to the large amount of ritual circumcision that happens within the Xhosa tribe. The Post reports that penile amputations happen at an alarming rate, approximately 250 per year, due to infection and other complications related to the removal of the foreskin in unsanitary environments.

I'll tell you what, it's a double edged sword with these fully functioning penises. Apparently it's the same for someone that can lay claim to the first successful dick transplant. Sure, he's able to achieve a full on erection. That may see like pretty good news considering the whole botched circumcision that had his groin undoubtedly looking like a scene from 'Saving Private Ryan'. However, I bet when he got his cock destroyed he thought the last thing he would have to worry about is wearing condoms ever again. Don't tell me he didn't think the inability to impregnate someone was the one silver lining of having a 'Frankenstein' dick. You think this guy just broke down in tears when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant? Talk about a roller coaster of emotion. One second he's letting his flag fly for the first time in years, and the next moment he's having a kid and won't even need his dick ever again. This guy is months out from getting a new lease on life and his life is already over. This might be the one time in history where it's okay for the man to have the final say on the abortion.

Couldn't they have just banged out the vasectomy while they were already in there? How the hell do you even connect the wiring to get kids out of someone else's manhood? I imagine it's like those scenes in movies where they are sweating profusely trying to disarm a bomb. Except instead of trying to cut the right wires they are trying to connect them. I bet they just said 'fuck it' and started tying things together down there. "Red to blue, Yellow to green. Ahh, who gives a shit? This fucking thing isn't going to work anyway." Who knew his swimmers would feel so comfortable going down a new slide for the first time?