How is your toddler doing with new sibling?

My daughter is 3 1/2 and she is such a good but sister the problem is she has been having the worst tantrums! To the point where I want to pull my hair out, I don't know what to do, is becoming and everyday thing and it's frustating to hear both a toddler and baby crying at the same time. I love my daughter so much and I feel guilt when I yelled or spank her. Also how do you guys feel about spanking? I am Hispanic and that's the way I was raise, if I misbehave I would get spanked.

Comments (8)

I understand that it's tough- believe me, I have a 2.5 year old but spanking her is not the answer. How is she misbehaving? She is very stressed right now with all the changes in her life so she is just releasing her emotions. Please don't spank her for this. Don't spank her at all.

I have a 2.5 year old DD (dear daughter) and she has been having terrible tantrums too. Mostly for me, not so much for DH. 😠 I talked to the pedi about it the last time we were there and she recommended time outs... Doesn't seem to be helping. Last night she wouldn't behave at jr dance class, so I made her leave. What scene that was. Hope today is a better day.

Taking care of a newborn that doesn't sleep with a screaming toddler is super hard. Sometimes I want to rip my hair out.

DS (dear son) LOVES his little sister! He has to kiss her head almost every hour and thinks she's "soooo tute"!

However, it's been difficult with an almost 3 yo. He's been very stubborn, difficult, and likes to push our buttons on purpose. We try to do the time outs and talks, but they work maybe 1/3 of the time. I'm hoping he will outgrow this soon!

My son is a little jealous. If I'm holding the baby he will want me to put him down, and when the baby gets a bottle he wants one too. But he's not mean to the baby or anything.

I don't like spanking personally but I have used it as a last resort. I have done it usually when I've told DS (dear son) not to do something several times, redirected, and he still continues. I don't spank for tantrums. I always figured, they are already so upset that A. Why get them more upset in that moment, and B. They are so upset, they aren't going to pay attention to any lesson you're trying to get across.

My 2.5 yo wants to hold the baby, but he's been whining and throwing fits, too. He was never a good sleeper, but he's gotten even worse. I have to deal with him screaming and crying, a newborn that won't let me put him down, then both of them waking up several times a night. I'm lucky if I get 4 hours of sleep. toddler doesn't nap anymore, either. I'm just trying to get through it. I lose my patience really easily, but I'm trying not to. It's all a phase and it'll pass eventually. I think the main thing is that they're seeking comfort bc life has just changed in a big way.

Tantrums are totally normal at this age. They are dealing with scoot of emotions. They want to be independent etc. maybe reading articles about toddler development would help make this stage less Frustrating

Personally we don't ever spank. I just don't agree with it and I believe it is confusing at best and damaging at worst got the child

My ds (dear son) loves his little sister. However sometimes it's hard if they are both crying. Sometimes I baby wear and my ds (dear son) will want me to hold him. My dh (dear husband) has been out of town for work since Sunday so the past few days have been really hard. Dh gets homeboys evening so hopefully it will get better. Tantrums are normal and my ds (dear son) is adjusting to not getting all my attention so I try to be patient. I do timeouts if he's not behaving...for instance if I tell him not to do something and he does anyway. It's rough but hopefully it will get easier.

My toddler is the same: sweet with the baby, whining and throwing fits for mommy and daddy. Try to be understanding, they are learning how to adjust from having all attention to less than half of it now. I acknowledge his feelings and give him a hug. Then I tell him it's OK to cry and he can do whatever I am trying to get him to do when he is ready and I am right there if he needs me. For dangerous stuff I immediately remove him from the situation. One thing that helps me to be more patient is lowering my expectations: I don't expect him to listen so when he does I am pleasantly surprised. I recommend reading "how to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk" and "siblings without rivalry" by the same authors. We don't spank and we don't do time outs, I have read in my books and scientific papers that punishments don't work for correcting behavior, they only make the punished person resentful. Positive reinforcement works for correcting behavior and acknowledging feelings teaches toddlers how to deal with their big and difficult feelings.

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