What to muse about today?

February 28, 2011

by lisasff on February 28, 2011

Sigh. My baby doesn’t love me any more. She doesn’t listen to me either. The past several days she just doesn’t listen. I don’t yell at her that often, I try to distract instead, but sometimes she’ll do something really dangerous and you need to.

Yesterday, she was banging, hard, on the play room windows with a toy. You could hear the glass rattle. I yelled. Loudly. She didn’t stop. Stu heard me from the other room and came in. He then yelled at her, and she stopped.

I know the whole point is for her to stop doing a dangerous action. That it doesn’t matter who she listens to, who she obeys. Still. I felt ineffectual. How can I discipline her if she doesn’t listen to me?

Distractions. This I have a bit better success with. She does seem to listen to me, move on to the distraction, to something else. You just can’t always use distractions.

She used to listen to me. She used to come up and give me spontaneous hugs. Stu seems to get most of the hugs lately. I know that this is because he’s been dealing with her more – getting her up, taking her to day care, picking her up, putting her to bed. I know it’s temporary, or at least I hope it is. Still. It hurts. When I ask her if mama can have a hug, and she says “no,” it hurts.

The preferred parent role will flip flop. Stu may be the favorite for now, but she’ll come back. She is getting old enough, and smart enough, to know what will push your buttons! Witholding a hug because you wouldn’t let her do what she wanted is just the beginning. Hang in there. She still loves you LOTS!!

Colleen wrote: “My lil Miss will say when Dad gets home from work.. or before.. is she and her are having a “Time” – “Mom are you going to the gym tonight???” – I know what you mean.. ((HUG))”

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LOL! Thanks!! I know it’s not “permanent” or even because she loves me less. I know she does. It’s so not easy when she does it. I can’t play with her the same way I used to. It’s just not easy to be on the floor, I can’t pick her up, can’t chase her.

Nina wrote: “My dear, in about 3 months you will be so very very very very happy that your big girl is content to get some Daddy affection and let you be. Wait till they start warring with one another for lap time and snuggle time and stuff and Teagan is wrapped around your leg as you walk the floors with the newbie. This temporary lapse of affection will be long forgotten.”

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LOL! At least in three months, I’ll be able to pick her up and chase her. I know it will be good to have Stu run favorite. I know this. Really. It just sort of hurts now. :)

Amanda wrote: “Have you read 1-2-3 Magic? We’re starting to use this with Alex and it’s helping. Basically, it’s warning when they’re doing something you want them to stop, and then giving a timeout if the behavior doesn’t stop.”

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No, I haven’t read this, but I will look it up. We really haven’t had to many discipline issues so far. Mostly the distraction has worked, or when she doesn’t get her way, we let her cry. Most times that we have these “meltdowns” she’s at home and tired. This is a bit new. Thank you!