ROSWELL in April,
2000

When I decided to come out west, there were some
things I wanted to do. Phoenix is a nice, central location to work from,
and it was time to make something happen. Enjoy the following little story;
there should be 3 versions of it by now, and this is how I remember
it...

The idea to go to Roswell, New Mexico was definitely mine; all mine.
The 1947 crash town is a place I have always wanted to visit. Since the
round-trip distance was around 1200 miles, we were looking at a 3-day
excursion. Narul's first 3 consecutive days off from his real job fell in
line with the travel plan; fate was speaking to us.

Travelling north on
the front leg of the journey, we would come within 6 miles of meteor crater-
so we decided that we were meant to see it, too. Wow. Talk about leaving a
strong first impression; my personal shock value is minuscule compared to
the ground spank of that particular rock.

As sunglasses changed to
headlights, we decided to go child-hunting in Belen. Then as evening became
midnight, it was clear that we would not make it to the town of crashed
weather balloons until 3 am. Driving the last 100 miles alone on a 2-lane
road was a classic storybook entrance, as well.

The overnight guy at the
Super 8 motel knew how to do business with overnight people, so Super 8 was
the lucky fondler of Static's plastic. After a late snack at Irene's
Denny's, (the "no U-turn" signs are just a suggestion) we partook a swim and
jacuzzi. Nice. I see the sunrise more often than I don't, but on Friday
morning I watched it with both narul and the rifter. After a summer-camp
type of giggle-fest in separate beds ("Don't worry about me."), Static and I
settled in and slept to TPG's "alien" snoring in Roswell.

Friday had a
late start (staying up 'til 7 am will do that), but we headed for the
museum. The International UFO museum and Research Center in Roswell, New
Mexico is...free. Free? We paid $10 a head to look at a hole in the ground
the day before, but proof of alien existence is free? Okay. (Was that a "no
U-turn" sign?) Later on, come back and link up to the UFO Museum

This comprehensive
museum is more than just entertainment; it's the real deal. The truth is in
there on the walls, baby. Old, post-crash documents (released through the
FOIA) state that the goals of these EBE's, and the mechanics of their
spacecraft are 'totally unknown to us'. (That's a few steps away from 'there
are no aliens', huh?) I'd like to take all the non-believers to this place;
but then again, I proved years ago that dumbasses only see what dumbasses
want to see. So just keep on believing that humans are the top of the food
chain, okay?

To the official gift shop...fridge magnets, light-up
frisbees, and alien-head candles; very cool. I decided that the purple "far
out" boxers (with scattered EBE's) would go well with my new Roswell coffee
mug. Stirred a bit by the whole experience, we left downtown feeling
extremely drained. "That was not a U-turn. That was merely a double left.
Here; I'll show you a damn U-turn."

I don't remember much about the hours
from 5 to 8 pm. I guess it can be chalked up to lost time (and mental U-
turns). Somebody was snoring.

You know how stories about Roswell always
have a place in them where the author says 'okay, here's where it gets
weird'? Well, this is where it gets...oh never mind. Armed with over $200
cash, and more credit cards than responsible tourists should ever have, the
3 of us went out in search of night-life in Roswell. This is when we made a
discovery; a discovery of absence: there are NO bars in Roswell, New Mexico.
We drove around for an hour, and wound up drinking 2 beers in a hotel
lounge; pathetic. Narul, Static and I will run a Sportsbar in crash town if
somebody wants to bankroll it. I'm just planting seeds.

passenger:
"what was that?"

driver: "what?"

passenger: "that looked a
lot like a U-turn."

driver: "that was not a U-
turn.

passenger: "then what was that?"

driver: "that was a
weather balloon."

passenger: "oh."

Not by choice, but we went to bed early and sober. On Saturday, we left
before noon. We could not go to the crash site--because of time constraints,
so we moved ahead to later action. The Space Museum in Alamogordo was very
informative, and later we found a Georgia girl (from Jefferson) at a Mickey
D's in west New Mexico.

After food, I got tired. It's hard to take naps
while you're driving, but I tried. And I tried again. Poor Static girl. I
did wake up with some loud Peter Gabriel though, and found myself passing
cops and going 85 mph . Speed limit signs are just a suggestion, too.
Right?

passenger: "It's probably not a good idea to pass a
cop."

driver: "What? I slowed down a little."

We were
back in the land of the Suns by 9 pm.; plenty early to unpack and go
drinking (in a real live bar). It's all about priorities. My work here is
done.

Let the record show that I am already planning the next trip--to somewhere
near Area 51 (Rachel, or Indian Springs, Nevada) where alcohol use is
invited and encouraged.