Are we being too serious about this immigration thing? It seems to be so knotty and complex that King Solomon might have trouble solving it. Remember when the two women came before him, each having recently given birth, and one of the babies had died? Each claimed the surviving child was hers. The wise King demanded that the baby be cut in half, with each mother receiving one half.

One mother cried, “No, no. Give the child to the other woman . . . don’t kill it,” while the other woman was agreeing to the solution.

If you remember this story in the Bible, Solomon decreed that the woman who was willing to give up her claim, in order to save the child’s life was the real mother. He gave her the baby. The situation is so absurd that it’s funny. The solution undeniably wise.

There are times when humor can be a helpful way to deal with a very serious subject. Especially when the subject is as divisive, as controversial in many circles, as illegal immigration. No matter what your position on the immigration problem is, you can’t help but realize there is also absurdity in the real life dilemma we’re dealing with.

I wrote a piece some time ago, describing the Midwestern father who came down to breakfast and discovered an illegal alien family sitting at his breakfast table, having helped themselves to the fridge and the kitchen — enjoying a big breakfast already. They had broken into the basement during the night, bedded down comfortably, and were now getting their own 3 kids ready to go register at the neighborhood school.

When the startled father asked, “What do you people think you’re doing? Who told you to just break into my house and make yourself at home?”

The other father answered, “Look, mister, you’ve got it made here. We just want to have some of the same good life you’ve got . . . you can’t blame us, can you? By the way, since we don’t have a car yet, can you take our kids to school, and my wife to hospital? She’s about to deliver another child, and I need to stay here and fix a place for the baby in the basement.”

Officials tell us there are somewhere between 12 and 14 million absolutely illegal aliens already living and thriving in America right now. Yes, many may be working in honest jobs and contributing in some ways to the general welfare. That doesn’t change the fact that they are — by definition — criminals, lawbreakers, and illegal.

And to my mind, the worst criminals are employers who aid and abet the criminal process, by hiring people they know full well are in the country illegally. That’s what criminals do — they break the law, causing others to break the law — to make money, illegally. When caught and found guilty, they go to prison, as they ought to.

What’s the answer? These millions of illegals, most of them nice and otherwise laudable folks, are here, right? The specter of trying to round them all up and herd them back across the border is nightmarish to contemplate. It would likely create a low-grade civil war, partly because so many big-hearted and compassionate Americans empathize with the aliens. Who doesn't?

Yet, I haven’t heard anybody, even the ACLU or outright alien organizations, declare that our immigration laws should be lax enough to freely admit terrorists, drug dealers, revolutionaries, seditionists, pedophiles, and other known criminals.The laws have been fashioned to protect society and to create an orderly way for honest people to share in the American dream, as citizens — not invaders or scofflaws.

Since there is the necessity to have and enforce laws regarding immigration, this proposed solution seems the only logical answer — demand that every single illegal alien register and stay visible, while learning the history and language and laws of the United States, so that in no more than 3 years — extremely generous, seems to me — he or she can take and pass the same tests all other legal immigrants passed. Nobody would be deported except those who won’t do what this country has always required, to live peacefully and obey our laws.

In an efficiently phased program, every employer should be commanded to check thoroughly on the legal status of all employees, under penalty of prison terms for knowingly hiring illegal — and therefore criminal — aliens.

Once identified, both alien and employer would pay fines, continuing until the alien becomes a citizen or is deported. Sure, employers will have to raise the wages,and much of the increase will be added to the cost of goods and services, but the increases won’t begin to equal the billions of dollars being charged to American taxpayers as they pay for education, health care and other privileges being accessed by these millions of illegals.

No. There aren’t easy solutions here, only right ones. I think King Solomon would agree.

Pat Boone's public career spans a half-century, during which he has been a top-selling recording artist, the star of a hit television series, a movie star, a Broadway headliner, and a best-selling author. He is also a great-great-grandson of the legendary pioneer Daniel Boone. Read more reports from Pat Boone — Click Here Now.