Lets be clear from the get go that this was not a date, Oklahoma’s Most Beautiful Boy has a husband and despite the fact that I find him extremely attractive (which he knows) this is a friends night out and nothing more. I enjoy his company a lot and so I don’t mind spending a little money on him as one might spend on a boyfriend. Many people don’t understand the dynamics of the relationship and mistake it for, well, whatever. As he often points out, its hard to find a “complete package” of beauty and brains in Oklahoma City. While it was not a date, we do go to nice places and I do expect the same level of service I would expect on a date, after all, it’s not any cheaper because it isn’t a date and I expect to get alot of the same things out of it most people expect on a date, like the ability to talk one on one.

To put it bluntly, the atmosphere, presentation of the food, service and the arrival of the check made me want to vomit. For starters, the place bills itself as a top of the line steakhouse. Its nothing of the sort. Undoubtedly the most over-rated restaurant I have ever had the misfortune of dining in. I wound up leaving $170 on the table for a meal that wasn’t worth $70, this includes the customary tip of 20% which was left out of respect to my dining guest and my desire not to raise a stink right then and there not because it was earned. If I were dining alone, I would not only have not left a tip, but I would have left an address to mail the refund check to and I would have taken the manager back into the kitchen and shown him how to make food presentable before it hits the table.

The atmosphere reminds me of a nice Dennys on the good side of town. People sit right on top of you, so there is no privacy (which makes talking about blowjobs, anal sex and who has a nice penis over dinner and wine without offending neighboring tables difficult) and there is nothing in the place to buffer the sound, so its like sitting in an echo chamber. Here is a hint, fancy restaurant designers: people go to nice restaurants to relax, unwind and enjoy peace and quiet. They also go to talk to the person they are taking out to dinner, to enjoy their company and enjoy being with them. None of these was possible, and I often had to ask Oklahoma’s Most Beautiful Boy to repeat himself, much to his annoyance. I couldn’t hear him over the clatter and roar of the restaurant. If I want to hear everyone yap about their lives, I can go to Applebees or TGI Friday and pay $40 for two including drinks.

The presentation of the food was awful, save the cheesecake which we both agreed was attractively presented. When it arrived, Oklahoma’s Most Beautiful Boy remarked “Wow, I think this is the most attractive thing to come to the table yet”. I had to agree. Hindsight being 20/20, I should have snapped a picture of it with my iPhone, because the presentation on the desert really was well done. Ironically, it was also the cheapest thing on the ticket and probably the only item not prepared in the restaurant.

His Shrimp Fettuccine Alfredo was presented with a touch of class – with four shrimp set at compass points on the rim of the plate and the pasta piled in the center – but it still was not what you’d expect to have gotten for the price. It looked like an Olive Garden specialty. My Surf and Turf was just thrown on the plate with no particular attempt to make it attractive. Neither dish was garnished. Every chef knows that presentation is one of the most important aspects of the dining experience and they made little effort to do so much as throw some parsley at these dishes.

The service was for shit, I have gotten better service at sit down burger places. The server filled the drinks a total of three times, often left them unfilled for a long period of time. The server made an awkward show of reaching across my face and over my plate to remove my lobster tail from its shell without asking me if I’d like it de-shelled. Prior to that, some guy who was not even our waiter walked by and took my shrimp cocktail off the table without a word – and without noticing we were not done with it as there was still a jumbo shrimp clinging to the side. Before I could object after a moment of speechlessness and shock, he was already half way back to the kitchen. A few minutes later, he returned to apologize for taking it, saying he didn’t see the shrimp there and gave me the cocktail back. Never offered to make me another one, or asked me if I wanted it back.

This incident was probably the biggest screw-up of the evening here. Proper procedure in what is supposed to be a high-class restaurant dictates then when you fuck up and snatch someone’s food off their table and don’t realize they weren’t done until you get back to the wash pit, you don’t bring the same thing back to them without offering to make them a new one. First off, it was your error and the establishment should eat the cost. Second, you have just had your grubby little hands all over my food, to bring it back to me and suggest that I eat it is an insult. Finally, you took my food back to the wash pit. How unappetizing is it for you to bring me something from the trash can to consume? Give me a break. Never mind the fact that the kid clearly doesn’t know the first thing about waiting tables in a decent restaurant, if he did he would have asked before reaching to the middle of the table while we are talking to ask if we were done with that dish. Heck, the even do this at family restaurants!

Finally, we get to the bill. Before the check arrived, I asked Oklahoma’s Most Beautiful Boy what the check would be. I wasn’t adding it up and my surf and turf was a market price item, so the price wasn’t in the menu. He guessed about $80 and I concurred. I felt that was about what it was worth, sort of. When the check arrived for $141.75, we both exhaled at about the same time and said words to the effect of “no way, not worth it”. They charged $75.95 for my surf n turf, and I must say that while the lobster tail was good size, the turf portion of my dinner was barely larger than a business card. I don’t believe it was a 7 oz filet, even if that’s the precooked weight. We both agreed that it wasn’t a $75 plate. Of course, presentation goes along way to making a diner feel like they got a good value

The bottom line: Mickey Mantle is an overpriced steakhouse that touts its ritzy location on the Bricktown canal to the hilt, charges way too much for what they deliver and is extremely over rated. I don’t mind paying for quality, but when you are gonna stick a bill for $170 (including 20% tip) on my table over a diner for two that didn’t even include drinks (Oklahoma’s Most Beautiful Boy rarely drinks), you had better be doing something doing something exceptional to earn your asking prices. At the very least, give me competent service from a wait staff that acts like they have worked in a world-class restaurant before. These hacks were a complete disgrace to the profession. Its clear that the management does not provide training and has terrible hiring procedures.

Now, lest this review find its way to the wait staff who served us this evening, I want them to know that I don’t blame them for the awful experience. I blame their boss. Its clear they were doing the best they could with what they were given. They were polite and caring, but are clearly just ignorant of the proper way to wait tables. The responsibility for that, my friends, rests solely with the management, as it is the management who is ultimately responsible for the performance of the wait staff or lack of it. Oklahoma’s Most Beautiful Boy owns several businesses and while I don’t always agree with his business decisions, there is one thing about his approach to business that is spot on and that is that management is always responsible for the success or failure of the business and satisfaction of the customers. Knowing that, he often chooses to manage everything himself rather than delegate that to anyone else.

The buck stops with the management, period. All failure or success in a business, regardless of who actually screwed up or did good, is a product of the management and therefore they are directly responsible for it. This is something that Mickey Mantle could apply to its business methods. Start taking responsibility for its staff and get them on par with other area restaurants, because this one is far below par to say the least.

I am printing a copy of this blog post (along with a cover letter) and mailing it to the owners of the restaurant with a copy of my receipt along with an address of where they can send me a refund check. The experience was that awful. I wouldn’t recommend Mickey Mantle Steakhouse if it was the last restaurant in Oklahoma City unless they had a dollar menu, because they don’t deliver much above fast-food levels of service.

Some of us are hot. Some of us are smart. A very few of us are both hot and smart. I know someone in that last category. I met him a few weeks ago, for obvious reasons, not the least of which is he would kill me if I were to do so. He is hawt as hell, probably one of the most beautiful boys I have ever personally met. I saw some photographs of him and he has one of the most amazing bodies I have ever seen. If I were still shooting porn, I would have immediately gotten out my checkbook to get him in front of my camera.

I wont say his name here (also for obvious reasons) and for many reasons, we are friends quietly and my interaction with him is mostly done under assumed names and aliases. This is necessary because he has appearances to keep up and I am the sort of person who sinks careers and destroys business ventures just by virtue of association. I have spent a fair amount of time talking to him and I enjoy his friendship and conversation. I would be lying if I said I did not find him attractive, but I also know it will only ever will be friendship, for he is married and he and I would never work in that way. In the past, I have been bad about avoiding fucking my friends, so this is an exercise in self control. He is one of the smartest people I know and my knowing him and the conversations we have as a result have caused no small amount of self reflection.

He is hot and smart and unlike many hot guys (smart or not), he doesn’t flaunt it. He’ll take the compliments and he doesn’t mind the attention and will even bask in it, but he doesn’t feel the need to remind you of the fact that he is hotter than you at every chance. Such an approach to life is refreshing, I must admit. Nothing is worse than somebody who is hot and knows it. So this article is not about me fawning over him or putting him on a pedestal and dressing him up. Its about my self-reflection and musings on the title: what if I were hot?

Everyone has a few things going for them and a few against them. One of the gifts I have is the ability to give myself honest self appraisals. Doing so has lead me to the following determination: I am smart. Not an opinion held by just me, even most of my enemies admit this freely when they are being candid in their thoughts about me. People who like you will often patronize you and tell you what they think you want to hear or what will get them what they want. If you want to know how you are really projecting yourself or how you are come off, then ask someone who hates you. Be prepared, you may not like what you hear, but then again, that’s probably why you are enemies.

But while I am smart, I am enough of a realist to know that I am not hot. Well, there is one truck driver I met at The Finishline from somewhere out in Indiana who thinks I am hot. I got drunk one night really bad and wound up swallowing his cock. I was so drunk that before that night was over, I’d get arrested, have three criminal charges filed against me and wake up in the hospital tied to a bed and being forcibly treated after lapsing into a coma at the county jail. So I have to say that the trucker finding me hot was an isolated incident.

I am not cute – but what if I was? The guy I talked about at the start of this article is hot and smart and he has a wonderful middle class life. Does he have it because of his looks? Do I not have it because of my looks? This is the million dollar question, to be certain. I have wondered about this early and often. He is just as direct and in your face as I am and when he thinks something stinks, he says so. Only he says fuck you with a smile, and I say “fuck you” aloud when the time comes. This is a difference between us, but when you look right at it and compare the way he approaches things and the way I approach stuff, we are not all that different. He is extremely manipulative and self-focused, as am I. We are both focused on money, success and power. Yet with all these similarities, he has the life and I do not. While he will tell you his not rich, he has it going on. He makes money while he sleeps and he can go out on the town every night of the week and not blink. By contrast, I have a half a dozen corporations in bankruptcy and a personal life in disaster.

If I were hot, would I have the kind of life I want? Would I have his life? Sometimes I think it all boils down to looks in our community. Most homosexuals will tell you its not a choice to be gay. I disagree with this, I think for some people it is a choice and I think others they are born that way. But we all know that we cannot control the way we look, at least not without much plastic surgery. In a community that screams for equality because we cannot change who we are, why would I be excluded from the community because of my looks. I know I am slightly more abrupt than he is, which may be what holds me back in life. While he just gives the fuck you smile, I put it into words. Perhaps that subtle difference is what separates us.

Who knows. I am pretty sure that my looks are not the only thing holding me back. There are plenty of popular ugly people in our community. Yet there are also plenty of popular assholes in our community. So what gives? Perhaps I am just cursed. These are the kind of thoughts that keep me up at 2 AM in the morning, watching Logo and Queer as Folk re-runs posting on my blog that no one reads or cares about.

Today is set to be a busy day as I do more errands than I have done all year in a single day. Yet I can’t sleep, I don’t want to sleep and I just want to sit here and be miserable. I want to sit here and think about how my life has been a complete failure. I am keenly aware of the fact that I am 28 years old, in two years my life will be over (as every faggot’s life ends at 30) and while I am doing the things successful fags do, I dont feel it. I don’t feel successful. I am not happy. I am not where I want to be in life. I have no plan to get there. Today should be a good day, for it marks my burial of a hatchet with someone. But I don’t feel it. More than anything, I want a nice, stiff drink. Looks like I am going to be having booze for breakfast – again.

Despite the fact that I have spent more than a thousand words writing about it, I really don’t care. Why should I? I am cursed. I am doomed to suffer in this life. Maybe next time, I will be a cute little faggot that everyone wants.

I write this today in somewhat of a state of bliss. I am high, having taken a few Percocets (please, spare me the bullshit – my life, my body, my right – DEA be damned) which has had the desired effect and taken the edge of these last few insanely stressful days, but I am also sort of out of it. But my mind is clear and I am relaxed. I am taking some down time right now, unwinding from a stressful last few days. I think by the time you are done reading this post, you’ll understand why. I am sitting here watching Logo and reflecting on a lot of things while I answer the occasional e-mail, Facebook comment and such.

So the first thing up on the list is the hospitalization this evening of Kerri Logsdon, a friend and board member of Norman Queer Pride. She is in OU Medical Center tonight in intense pain. The doctors don’t know exactly whats wrong with her, but they are going to do a lot of tests. I took her to the hospital tonight and am now staying at her place to keep an eye on things. Someone came and kicked the door in to the apartment next door, so this will ensure that her place stays safe while she is away.

Kerri has driven me nuts this week, but its not really her fault. Her family life is a mess and I know I am not the most pleasant person to be around when I am hurting. She is just lonely but unfortunately, having someone around who wants to go on and on about their medical problems really brings me down. None the less, since no one else is there for her and I don’t have anything better to do (actually, I do…) I may as well try to ease someone else’s suffering even if only by a little bit. What goes around comes around, so I figure that if I do this good turn, maybe someone will be there for me when I need it. So I am happy to do it, but also glad I have a break now. I hope Kerri feels better and gets some relief, she is not a bad person to be around.

In other news, I am expecting a settlement check today for a lawsuit against a company I used to have a warehousing contract with. Their insurance company decided to settle and they finally got around to mailing the check a couple of days ago from Phoenix, so I expect it will arrive at my attorney’s office today. Nevermind that according to the terms of our agreement, the check was to be sent via FedEx and was supposed to be in the mail like two weeks ago, so this insurance company apparently just decided to do what they felt like doing. I feel sorry for the opposing counsel, John Walkup of The Edmonds Cole Law Firm in Oklahoma City. He is stuck in the middle of the whole thing and helpless as much as anyone else. I think he is sincere in his efforts and while I am not a patient person when money is concerned, I remind myself that its indecent to hold someone in Oklahoma City responsible for the actions of some twit for a claims adjuster at an insurance company in Phoenix.

But all is well that ends well, so now I am deciding where to put the money to work for me. I did get a bit more than I expected, so I am reminded of my civic obligations to help others when I am able to do so. To that end, I think I am going to make some charitable donations with some of the funds, and I have decided I am going to start by giving $100 to RAIN of Oklahoma, which provides HIV testing services with no cost or obligation. While I disagree with some of the things the organization has done recently, I am not going to be petty. The mission is worthy of support.

I have already donated $200 to Mike McKee, my attorney who handled the case. He was only going to take $700 for his services, I told him to go ahead and take $900. Mike is from a different time, a time when people became lawyers to serve their communities and help others, not to get filthy rich. Mike and I have many viewpoints that are worlds apart on topics like religion and politics, but I have a great amount of respect for the man. He works tirelessly for his clients and in this case, he is giving me a very fair shake.

A third donation is going to be made in the way of a loan to a guy in Oklahoma City I know. While he is not gay, he is still part of our community and has had a string of bad luck. Without going into details, he has been out of work and his landlord told him he could work around the complex doing make readies and such in exchange for free rent. He did a bunch of work, but didn’t get it in writing, and so when the rent came due, the landlord took $100 off the rent, which was not the deal. Then the jackass posted an eviction notice. So I am gonna loan the guy about $550 to help him get on his feet. He says he’ll pay me back and while I believe he is sincere, I dont know the guy that well so I am considering it a donation until proven otherwise. I do expect it back, but I’m not counting on it.

In other news, I have launched three new blogs to cover specific aspects of my life. I created a blog to cover and provide updates on the License Plate Lawsuit. You may want to bookmark that page if you wish to follow the case. I opened a second blog to be dedicated to my love of travel, called Traveling with Keith. Few people know about my hobby of screen writing, but the other night I fired up Final Draft and cranked out a few pages of script that maybe one day will turn into something marketable. The name of that blog is Keith Silver Screen. I haven’t done anything with it yet, but I will sometime soon.

I am looking forward to buying an iPhone and dumping Cricket’s lousy service. While I don’t miss having a $200 a month cell phone bill for unlimited everything, I do miss having unlimited everything. And while I hate AT&T with a passion, I hate Sprint even worse. In fact, look for the announcement soon: I will be filing a small claims lawsuit against Sprint for the manner in which they fucked me over on my account. Plus, I am starting to become a real fan of Apple stuff, and for many years I was about as anti-Mac as they come.

I really like the idea of Apple’s MobileMe service, which allows you to use a computing cloud to have ONE address book, calendar and so on that updates itself without having to plug in dongles and such. For instance, you add an appointment on your iPhone while in the field, then you come home to your MacBook and the thing is already there without having to plug in and sync. Yes, I know you can sync Outlook on Windows, but Windows sucks and Outlook is such a piece of shit (its full of security holes) that I refuse to install. As if that weren’t enough, to have Outlook you have to buy Microsoft Office which is not something I’ll be doing. Not when I can use the freely available OpenOffice which is every bit as good and comes with the low, low price of free. Of course, this does require me to make my next computer a Mac as well, which I think I will be doing. In fact, I really like the new iMacs with their big, beautiful and bright displays. I’ll wait to see what the verdict is on the iPad before I ditch my Toshiba in favor of a MacBook or iPad, as the Toshiba still has a lot of life left in it.

Being as how I have been up for damn near an entire day now, its time to wrap this up. So I will close with a brief talk about my longing for Chicago. More specifically, an adventure that possibly awaits me next time I go there.You see, I have never been able to stay away from Chicago for very long. For me, the windy city will always be my true home. No matter where I go or how long I stay, I am still only visiting. Home is where the heart is and my heart always belongs in Chicago and its memories.

Anyway, the adventure I speak of is as follows: there is a guy who now lives there and works at a gay bar, but he once lived here in Oklahoma. I like him, not necessarily as a boyfriend – but I haven’t ruled that out. I am not going to identify him, but those who know me know that I like them barely legal. This guy is in his mid 30s and has gray hair, which for anyone who knows me and what I like is probably reading this in utter shock. While I do find him attractive, its not his body that I am drawn to. He has an aurora of mystery about him that really intrigues me. He is very shy despite working in a job that puts him in a position to deal extensively with the public. I think he isolates the personal him from the professional him. He is a deep thinker and extremely intelligent, with a vivid imagination capable of painting very thought-provoking pictures in the mind. I have had occasion to read some of his short stories and thats how I know this. He is well read, can hold an intelligent conversation that keeps me on my toes.

His writings do seem to indicate low self esteem as he is always beating up on himself. He seems to feel unwanted. I do admit that I dont know much about him, I only met him a couple of times while he lived here and he does not remember me, but I remembered him. He has been single for quite some time and I think its likely that he has been hurt before, probably very badly. I must say with what I know of him thus far, he is the partner of my dreams. Smart, intelligent, witty and good looking in a way that generates appreciation and respect instead of someone who is just hot in a “piece of meat” sort of way. I don’t think he has any idea just what a wonderful person he is, though, of course I need to get to know him much better before I can say this is the way of it. I am speaking purely based on what I have found out about him thus far.

Someday soon, I will find my way to Chicago for yet another visit. I talk to this guy online occasionally. He has said he’ll let me buy him a cup of coffee if I find myself in town. But where, if anywhere, does it go beyond that? Do I want it to go beyond that? These are the things that I have been thinking about. I have a habit of scaring people away and this is one that – if I decided to pursue him – would be worth keeping. I can tell that if I was his and he mine, he would be a loyal companion who would be in it for keeps.

The only question that remains is how do I explore the possibilities without scaring him away. The plate case ensures that I am going to be living in Oklahoma for quite a while as the case winds its way through the courts here. Perhaps thats a good thing for this situation, it will force me to take it slow and steady, which is whats going to be needed here for sure.

On February 10, 2010, I – through my attorney Brittany M. Novotny – filed a civil lawsuit against The Oklahoma Tax Commission in The Oklahoma County District Court. The case seeks to have certain sections The Oklahoma Administrative Code (specifically, sections of O.A.C 710:60-3-150) dealing with the content and issuance of personalized license plates declared unconstitutional. You can follow the case on it’s Facebook page.

Oklahoma City, OK – An Oklahoma taxpayer has filed a civil lawsuit in Oklahoma County District Court against the Oklahoma Tax Commission, continuing a battle for freedom of speech on vanity license plates. The suit seeks to have part of the Commission’s rules regarding the issuance of personalized license plates declared unconstitutional.

Keith Kimmel, who filed the suit through his attorney, provided the following statement: “The Oklahoma Tax Commission is continuing to subject Oklahomans to a subjective decision making process in issuing personalized vanity license plates. Under our state Constitution, all Oklahomans enjoy the right to freedom of speech and an equal opportunity to express their viewpoints. Previous testimony in the administrative proceedings held on this matter have shown that the Commission is selectively granting and denying applications based on Commission employees’ own personal prejudices and viewpoints. The Constitution requires that state rules are viewpoint neutral, with an objective standard that puts the taxpayer on notice of what is legal and what is not. This suit is intended to put an end to the Tax Commission’s unconstitutional practice of subjecting taxpayers to the whim of individual employees.”

Plot: “After a night spent drinking and partying, a group of six best friends is torn apart when they accidentally kill their bisexual friend Caz when he darts in front of their car. A year later, Caz appears to Tess as an eternally horny angel who only Tess can see. It’s up to her to reunite the remaining five friends so Caz can move on, but things don’t always go according to plan.”

Nonsense Revoultion is worth seeing, but to be honest: its not really all that great. The story centers around a young man killed in a drunk driving accident who comes back haunts his friends as an extremely horny angel. The notion is hilarious, this film plays it up well and that makes it good for a few light-hearted laughs here and there. Towards the end, the story is touching and moving, but the movie does seem to drag on at points. The writer does a good job of keeping you on a rollercoaster though between laughing and feeling sadness, its just that it sometimes is not sufficiently moving. However, I still recommend seeing the movie, its worth watching and its not that poorly done.

Plot: “A sex and drug addicted young man who is forced into a Christian-run ministry in an attempt to cure him of his “gay affliction”, where instead he is faced with the truth in his heart and spirit.”

Every once in a while, I happen across a really good film that is just touching and well-done. Its not too sexy, not too gay and not too overly anti-religious – not to say I don’t enjoy sex, gay or anti-religious films because I do. But on occasion, its nice to see a film take a highly controversial subject that is current, relevant and emotionally charged for the queer community and make a story that really gets you thinking about the issues. In this case, the issue is the ex-gay movement.

Save Me really creates a compelling story with this one, based on a young gay man who is forced to enter an ex-gay camp. While you might think you know where this story is going, you might be surprised. There is no mind control or brainwashing at this ex-gay camp, and the inhabitants are free to leave anytime they wish. As the story proceeds, the two main characters begin to explore and find themselves at the camp. I dont want to spoil the story line for you, but let me just say that this story was well done and avoids stereotypical over sensationalism of the ex-gay movement. In fact, this film puts a good face on the movement if there can be such a thing.

Now, the best part about this particular film is that you can watch it right now – for free – on Logo’s website. I love Logo’s website. Like many networks, they are putting full films online. Yes, they do have commercials, but they are limited and I realize that they are a necessary evil. But with Logo, even the commercials are queer-themed and usually feature hot guys to boot!

Most people who know me know I have a special place in my heart for Showtime’s Queer as Folk. It was a show that changed lives, my life for one. When I was a wee little boy in an Indiana home, I knew I was different. I didn’t understand it all, I just knew I didn’t like the icky girls like everyone else and not just because they were icky, either. Most kids have that phase, but I never outgrew it. I never was attracted to girls. While most boys have the “Eww, girls are icky!” phase, they usually don’t have a “Mmm, that guy is hot!” phase. So I always knew I was different, but I didn’t really understand it or what it meant.

My parents didn’t have cable, they were too cheap to subscribe to it. Grandma did though. Trips to Grandma’s house were to be looked forward to for that reason. Grandma has free cable – and not because she sent her grandson to the top of the pole to tap the line. When they were cabling the Midwest, the cable company needed to put a pole in Grandma’s yard. There is no easement where she is, so they had to get her permission. She refused to give it. They finally offered her free cable for life and she consented to it. The deal allows her to have two movie channels, too. One of the networks she choose was Showtime.

So one fine evening, while getting ready to go to sleep I was channel surfing and found Queer as Folk on Showtime. Of course, like most, I watched for the sex but stayed because it was a fun show. Of course, it was the first time that I had ever encountered gay people in any format. For all I knew, I was a freak, a victim of some government experiment gone awry that had escaped the lab. QAF helped open the door for me to eventually come out and be a proud homosexual, proud of who I am, proud of what I am and proud of what I do.

So QAF has a special place in my heart. I have listened to all sorts of opinions on the show which range from breathtaking and revolutionary to accusations that it glorifies everything wrong with gay culture. For me, it will always be appreciated for the superior acting that it was and the celebration of gay life – as the actors say – warts and all. So today I have been watching the special DVD-feature for season five that ran before the last episode. Its the actors talking about what the series meant to them and how it affected them.

So today I read a few QAF shooting scripts. Yes, I have them all in PDF – for every episode – saved to a thumb drive. Since I have lots of free time today, I decided to do absolutely nothing important. I’m going to share with you some of my favorite lines of dialogue I have run across in some of the scripts.

Brian Kinney: I don’t believe in love; I believe in fucking. It’s honest, it’s efficient. You get in and out with the maximum of pleasure and minimum of bullshit. Love is something straight people tell themselves they’re in so they can get laid, and then they end up hurting each other because it was all based on lies to begin with.

Debbie: Now, you’d better get out of here before me and my fag friends beat the living shit out of you!

Ben: Michael, we can’t tell him not to use drugs if we do it ourselves!
Michael: Of course we can! That’s what being a parent is all about!

Justin: I should have told you about him.
Brian Kinney: And taken all the fun out of it? So how big’s his dick?
Justin: That has nothing to do with it.
Brian Kinney: Since when? You love cock, you love it down your throat, you love it up your ass, you love riding it, and after you cum, you love to fall asleep when it’s still inside of you.

Brian Kinney: The first time you came here, you didn’t know anything about me. I could have done anything to you.
Justin: I was pretty sure you were gonna fuck me.