37 thoughts on “I Am That Child”

I wrote this the day of Philando Castile’s murder. He was murdered in front of his daughter. She was with her parents on a family outing. This is what makes human evil so violating. It intrudes on us as we innocently assume we are safe.

I saw Philando Castile’s murder through the eyes of his daughter and the poem bled out.

Your words are heartbreaking. Nothing tears my soul apart like the pain of a child. I love children, mine, yours, all of them. The child I was and am hurts for the child you were and are. I hope your poetry heals you.

As unfortunate as it is, a large number of bad parents have addiction problems. Many times when the awful parents become sober they are totally different . Mental illness commonly runs alongside addiction. I understand both sides of the coin. Each is devestating. By being an opiate dependent in recovery, and a sufferer of Bipolar type 2, the type of parent I am depends on the day my Brain is having.

I can’t speak from personal experience. I have never been remotely attracted to drugs or alcohol, but my son is an alcoholic. He inherited it from his daddy and his daddys’ mama. The few times he has managed to stay sober for a period of time, he is the most wonderful person you would ever meet. When he’s drunk, he’s not violent or nasty but he will steal anything he can get his hands on. He has a small son that I am afraid he will never get to know.
Hats off to you for being in recovery. I wish you strength and happiness. It won’t be an easy road, as you know, but I have high hopes for you.
Sending hugs. 🙂

I am so glad you were smart enough to stay away from alcohol and other drugs. Many people would run stright to them if they went through what you did. That is impressive and gives me hope that others will make good choices. Detective Joe Kenda on the ID channel says this about drugs : ” Don’t start, don’t do it. Then you won’t have to figure out how to quit.”

I watch him! I have always thought I must be missing a gene or something. I had my first drink at 55 and would have preferred a glass of milk.
I had hoped at least one or two of my children would get that gene…but they didn’t.
They all drink and they have all smoked pot. One of them is a full-fledged alcoholic and another one is on her way.
Of course, in their eyes…and their precious daddys’ eyes…there’s something wrong with me. 😰

Thank you. I don’t know how other people cope with the shock of watching two men murdered for simply existing…I hope that people don’t do what they did with sight of the mentally ill homeless. Shock turned to apathy and apathy became blaming the victim.