‘Come for the Culture War … Stay for the Chicks’

The primary reason our womenfolk are at war with the looming
spectre of the nanny state is because you can’t buy Jimmy Choos in a
socialist paradise.

The only sensible footwear you’ll find in a right-wing woman’s
closet are the Nike cross-trainers that go with her gym membership.

Everything else has a three-inch heel. Minimum.

Left-wing drabs recycle. Right-wing women shop — and the
government measures how much they shop every month to find out whether
we’re still in a recession. Basically, the world economy depends on
right-wing women buying shoes.

You never hear a right-wing woman break out statistics
pointing out that only 25% of elected offices in Canada are held by
women, and then whining about it.

No. A right-wing woman wants to get elected, she runs for office.

If she wins, great. If she loses … well, there’s always more shoe shopping.

Damn,
They have never met my friend E, a lefty liberal feminist, so well-known to the salespeople at Jimmy Choos that they, I am not making this up, open champagne when she walks into the store. I’ve been there and seen it.

Well, in all fairness, right wing women really are that shallow. They are, after-all, right wingers. When was the last time you met a right-winger that wasn’t a shallow asshole more concerned with money and things than actual people?
It happens, but it is rare.

Almost all the right-wing women of the type he describes are wealthy, so they wouldn’t be caught dead in denim jumpers. The poor rural ones who are right-wing because the only people left in rural Canada at this point are the ones whose parents were too stupid to leave don’t exist in his world.