It has been a while( is it?..haha)i haven't writing any post in my blog..really have to do a 'major cleaning' in here..

It just that, to tell you the truth,in a while, my brain will full of ideas in writing but the next,it seems to lost in the wind unconsciously..sometimes I feel like I'm out of the spirit and ' Am I qualified to motivate others as I'm not fully-motivate myself? will always haunted me whenever I start to press a letter on my keyboard..I always intend to find my real strength in it but seems I'm not ready yet until..

You motivate others,you are motivating yourself nonetheless"

"You write, you developed and you will learn!"

" He Who taught (the use of) the pen,Taught man that which he knew not."Surah Al-Alaq:4-5

And that makes me inspirit and that time I told myself,

"While I have the time and energy, why not use it beneficially?And even I'm not brave enough to talk in front of thousands of people staring straight at me, I'm sure will be brave to write to thousands of people whom happen to hoping in my blog"

As we write,we are actually talking and sharing what exactly playing in our mind, of utmost importance,we write with full sincerity because everything that came across from our deep heart is full of verity.And whenever those pieces of writing spark other in a virtue,that is when we called it as blessings.

Talking about yesterday isn't worth if it happens to be blame of..but if it something that can make us enthusiastic for the future,there is something we need to learn from our past..because the past is a history,and history can be something that we can take lessons from..

And that what happen to me,I was having a dinner with my aunt yesterday along with my friend when suddenly, I felt something is not right( it got to be related with the instincts,I suppose?hmm)

Have you ever felt like crying without any reason to? or you just felt heavy-hearted all in the sudden?or have you ever approach your friend and suddenly told her "I'm sad!" and when she asked about the reason,you just give her a shrug and in a while she will look at you in confusion?

But that time, who will we be thinking utmost?Yes! ALLAH..He give us the feeling..for what reason?I would rather think the answer is all in your mind..just think of it for a while..And you will find that it all about ALLAH's love towards us...

And whenever it happens to me,I bear in my mind,

Sometimes ALLAH breaks our spirit to save our souls,He breaks our hearts to make us whole,He allows pain so we can be stronger,He send us failure so we can be humble,He allows illness so we can take eater care of ourselves,He takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything He gave us..

And that makes me realize and understand that we live by ALLAH'S grace...

"You know the secret of pillars of ISLAM?"My aunt asked me after we have done dining.(Actually, it just my aunt and my friend who are enjoying the food, not me,because at that time.I'm really not in the 'MOOD')

"It happens to reveal the truth of the world!!"My aunt start her talk.In start,I'm quite confused with her chosen word but I give her a nod to continue her story and that time me and my friend just becoming a good listener to her.

And suddenly, I smiled in gratitude..I felt motivated enough and my mood had slightly change after hearing her talk..My spirit suddenly came back and that time I just console myself,'I have to write about it!"

And I'm doing it now.....still smiling reviving what happen to me last night..

"What is the first pillar in Islam?"My aunt question me.As I answered like a good student to her teacher,"Shahadah la maksyu!..

"It shows that everything we do,has to be based on One God which is ALLAH and our prophet,messenger of ALLAH..To Him our intention to..That's why Shahadah is the basic in being a true Muslim.That's why it will be the first thing to be done to become a Muslim..Whenever we have a new brother in Islam,he will be told to utter shahadah!'

"What is the second pillar in Islam??This time my friend answer it anxiously.."SOLAT!"My aunt smile and nodded..Solat is the greatest thing ALLAH has given to us..because it revealed our act in the daily life

example?

Takbiratul Ihram...It shows that we as Muslim had to be well-prepared in every situation or test that came across us..no matter how things turn out,make the best out of them..Salam..why do we have to face our side whenever we utter our salaam in our prayer?It shows that, we as Muslim must spread salaam to whomever we met showing that we are praying a good life for them..

"How about Haj?"I asked my aunt.

'Haj revealed us to remember that we are just ALLAH'S slavehaj teach us to be humble and bear in the mind that all of us is just the same..What makes us a difference from other is just our IMAN..

Why do we run from safa to marwa?The teaching in that act is to make us realize that whenever we having a failure or 'break down',we will not ever-ever-ever(If I said it three times, I mean it to be serious xD) to be in despair or frustrated..as long as we believe that there is always hope and we just have to strive for it!!

I can feel calmness within my very soul as I saw people walking heading to the beauteous mosque just beside the corner of Jalan Sentosa Street.As usual, it would be a great pleasure in my village to have all of us gathered in this beautiful and blissful day for us to perform Solat Hari Raya..It was sure another joyful experience I had after the end of RAMADHAN..

Yup.Syawal is the month of victory for us muslim..How Allah love us more,He gave us the month of Syawal for us to celebrate our victory after a full month fast,this is the day where we can break our fast( suited for it called the day as 'haram puasa')..Quite a long start,don't you agree?

'Lailaha illallahu allahu akbar,Allahu Akbar wa lillahilhamd'

The sound continue smoothly emitting my eardrum creating a pleasant tune I enjoy much as I step the entrance of the mosque..Quite a sudden serenity I've got here as the coolness of the weather outside entered the air-conditioner building as I open the door,the first thing that surely catch my anxious eyes that time is a group of old folks sitting on the front line(seems impatience before the solat started)

Suddenly,one of them turned and smile,"Kak Sah!"..'OK,my grandma's acquaintance..I suppose!'I smiled.And a while I'll be a good listener to their old-fascinating stories when they're in the age of mine,if I'm not mistaken but sure a fascinating one and quite a scene too where I can see a pair of long-time-no-see friend exchanging the ir hugs while talking about their lives..I wonder what would happen to me in 20 years time,can I be like them with the company of my old friends?Together we prayed and hear the khutbah?It was one of my dream to have it.Insya ALLAH..

Do I recall to tell you about a little boy I saw in the mosque?

i think not yet( I just love to answer My own question!hehe)

Here the story begin,I was sitting alone at the edge of the mosque after performing solat sunat,and ready to have a quick i'adah of Surah Yusuf when a cute little boy came sitting beside me.i stop my i'adah for a while in the care to ask the little one(about 5 years old)wether he lost and where could his mom gone to but the boy just give me his cute little smile and stare the Quran I'm holding just in front of me and said'bacelah!I'm quite like a statue for a while but I just continue with it and surprisingly he was reciting Surah Yusuf along with me without looking at the Quran..

I like this boy,I'm amazed with him!"I thought myself..

How I adore him and how he can memorize the Quran,(if not, still,Surah yusuf)in that age!Subhanallah..

Suddenly,looking at the bunch of children playing around outside the mosque revive me of the little boy I saw at the last Raya..Eversince, that makes my heart intrigued to memorize the Quran..sure that time which happen during the first Raya 2007..

What usually would we get on the first Raya?

Duit Raya?Different kind of Kuih Raya?New Baju Raya?or a full scene of relatives during Raya?

This is what I get...

Duit Raya to spent more..Kuih raya to eat even when my brain alert me'FULL,,FULL'Baju Raya to show off with the latest touch of my own auntAnd a dull scene of relatives since my perfect place is in my closed bedroom upstairs with books encounter me..

this is what I get when I'm a child!!But as I grew older and while I'm standing in my own feet,this is what I should get..

I get my 'duit Raya' and the money change hands(I give it to my mum)'why did you give your mom?'She need it more than me..I'm happy to give her..'my straight answer to my companion at that time.

i get kuih raya specially made by my aunt and brought it back to my hostel..Instead I eat it all alone by myself,it is a good thing to share with my friends,rite?After all,sharing means caring!(I heard that phrase somewhere,but I can't yet remember it,hmm)

I have my new baju raya,with such a beautiful colours of my choice,still I have scarf and stockings to suit with..As what my father always warned us,AURAT,AURAT would be his favourite words but it sure makes us siblings well-trained..Thanks a lot DAD!

And a scene with my relatives?Sure will be,after hearing my grandmother's,I and my other siblings should be in an open-eyed after this whenever our relatives pays us a visit..been motivated enough by our long-experienced granny who known to be a welcomed and adored one in our entire family..

Well,pen off!....tooo many works,sooo little timeWould be idle for a while~{sorry}Salam~

'What can possibly this Author's intention at this late night,typing on her keyboard?I rather think she had a story that is ready to explode throughout her mind at this right moment~but I wonder what makes her so eager and desperate of?only she know the answer..'

'Did I heard someone talking about me?*unsatisfied look*

So,i'm back on my keyboard..I can't think of any possible reason why I got too engross with writing this night,it just seem I can't stop my mind from thinking of it..terified huh?Don't worry,it is not a contagious disease,i believe..

Maybe this not-so-long-to-be Hari Raya celebration makes me in excitement..just talking about it,I'm sure there is a bubbling of joy within our insight,right?

We are talking about gathering here,dear friends...yup,a liveliness and cheerful one,I supposed..It is all everybody's expectation,don't you think?

Gathering maybe a simple word in english which I do believe of all's intention into it..but for us muslims,it means a lot more than a word of gather,it means tying bond with our kins..sure means a lot?

Because,it is in my concern from my own experience whenever it is on working day,i'm rarely in a company with my relative that sometimes*most of the time actually*i'm totally in an awkward state whenever my relatives pays us a visit..I rather be shameful of myself whenever my grandmother give me her jaunty smile and said'poe duk depan,konal sedagho 2..nanti,cari laki,tengok-tengok sedagho sendighi.tak segan ko?'

Can't stop smiling whenever I recall that phrase of her..

In my mind,I totally agreed,but I don't know,it just have become a habit of me and my siblings*not including my little brother,he's a hyperactive one that sometimes can be annoying..can't figure how my other relative would considerily calling him..'cuteeees'*May be he is,after all..heheHe sure be floating in the air if he read this..*shhh*

As me and the other bunch of girls would rather be at the back*in the kitchen* making excuses...we're are washing dishes,i'm stiring the 'rendang'..and other excuses only-Allah-knows~

Sure have to make a difference this year~hopefully..

I didn't want to end up just like what my grandmother babbling about~hehe

Hopefully,this coming Eid fitr would bring us to a better ties and bonds of ukhwah with our family and relative,not forgotten dear friends~

It really distract me just thinking of it~ and that time I'm picturing myself having ketupat while reading Fiqh Manhaj,serving people during an open house while reciting juz 11-15 in my mind.....and I suddenly comprehend that it is not such a bad thing after all,rite?

it just a matter of how you make use of your time and appreciate it nonetheless.

How you use the 24-hours Allah have providing us with?

Sometimes people like us just know how to mock or taunt blaming the time without realising who actually the one to blame of? It is ourselves.

OK,it just a random, not even related to what I'm going to share here but still it is something worth for us to think of,TIME!

Have you ever felt that ALLAH was watching and hearing you in every moment?

Wait a minute, don't get me wrong!It is obvious that ALLAH is watching us because;

"for He is the One Who hearth and seethe (all things)" Al-Isra':1

What I try to convey here is about how we realise it in our daily life?

Because if we think it logically,why some people are easily into committing a sinful act(maksiat) if they realise that ALLAH can see and hear them?the answer is obviously recognised: because they never realise or they ignore to realise it..wana'uzubillah

How do we act, my friend? Why do sometimes we have the highest trust in ALLAH and in other times, we lost it?And at that time we felt like giving up in committing a suicide?Masya ALLAH, have we ever wonder how people around us act?How we ourselves act in that kind of situation..

Sometimes we didn't realise it, right? I admit it too..Why do sometimes we plan for a tahajud yet we just wake up when the Subuh prayer called?Why do sometimes we pray and beg to ALLAH in succeeding our exam yet we got a bad result?At the end,we try to blame ALLAH, for not hearing us?Nauzubillah..

Just take note of this and bear it in our mind.

ALLAH hear us,but do we hear HIM?

Al-Quran is His Word,by reading it,it just as the same as hearing ALLAH talking and remembering us..Do we take His Word as our fully guidance?Do we recall to apply what we memorize in the Quran?Answer it yourselves and you will find the answer to the question above.

ALLAH see us, but do we see HIM?

Whenever we did a bad thing to ourselves or others,have we realise that ALLAH is watching us?Take this as an example.We have an argument with our friend and we madly angry with him and suddenly he came up to apologize,do we forgive him or not? or do we forgive him but still having a slightly grudge in our heart?if we forgive him with our whole-heart,that is a good thing but what if we didn't?It is a norm,I can see among Malays adults.

If someone apologize because of his lying,some of us can't resist it and just knowing to blame him in saying"Why did he lied?He is a bad person I should say!"and after a while from becoming a best friend forever turning into a great enemy ,but can't we try to open our heart and accept his apologize with a sincere smile on our face while saying"I hope you didn't do it again,I accept your apologize?" at the end,they are no one to blame of and we can live in a serenity life of us.

Have we wonder how children act?I saw it whenever my little sister and brother was arguing for such a small matter,hitting and pinching others until both of them are in tears,when one try to blame others?and before I knew they had an argument any longer,I saw them making and sharing bread and jam together..How easily they can forgive each other without recall or blaming others back what have they did to each other earlier..I realise what a pure heart they have!

So much thing can we take as our 'medicine' troughout our daily life,right?

ALLAH love us but do we love HIM?

ALLAH love us, obviously realise it through our surrounding,no! most obviously in our features,we have eyes to see,nose to smell,hand to touch,feet to walk,air to breath and other countless features..but how we use it?We have been promised from the day Our Prophet died that we were not to be ruin until the Day of Judgement?is that suppose to show how ALLAH love us very much?

But do we love him?do we do what He ask for?do we worship HIM wholeheartedly?Why they are some people who would rather seek for the love of other humans without applying the rules ALLAH had given to us?Why they are still couples holding hands?nauzubillahhow do we show our love to ALLAH?Do what He ask and forbid what He dislike.

Always keep in our heart and mind to be a better person every days and pray for ALLAH to hold our IMAN in only for HIM.

'Sometimes life throws you a curveball,hands you a lemon,or knocks you for a loop,but at the end you will success if you manage to approach your trueself'

Appropiate with the title of Month of Mercy,this Ramadhan should give us the chance to get through within and learn our one trueself,don't you agree?

Sometime we thought others with a happy family beside them,with a big career attached them,with a good features within them..keep blaming others for contradicting your thought and always tought that we are the best? Yet still envy on other success without taking any step in changing our 'nightmare'?

Having a thought of people who had success but never take the oppurtinity to try to be like them..

In a simpler word..Talking without adding any progress..

That's actually what is happening around me lately,at first, i try to ignore it but the scenerio keep playing in my mind somehow making me slightly in stress..astaghfirullah..

Patience is the best medicine, i keep reminding myself..

And still reminding..it just a matter of how we did in confronting difficulties in order to develop our maturity..

With such difficulties,we try to make up our mind on ways to solve it..i rather apply,way to bounce back to a success..

Who told that we are a failure?we are a success since our mum brought us to the world..rite?We just have to begin it again from the starting point where we were just a child whom just knowing to cry to an adult with great principle and kind-hearted..

As for us,teenagers(seems more equivelent as me myself consider as a teenage girl),this is the point where we have in searching the real medicine to our weak soul..

Wether we want the best for our future or the other way round..it is in our hand,for we to choose,

Becoming a success or a failure,Becoming a brave or a coward,Becoming one's love or one's hatre,Becoming the best or the worst,Its up to us,my friend..

Change now before it to late,because remember my friend,We always didn't realize what we usually have when we have it,but just realize it when it is gone..don't ever forget the two vaulable pleasure which are the health and the leisure time..

Fill it with an outmost number of good deed for we won't regret in the Next..

I take this chances in wishing to all my friend in hoping for a success in this coming exam~

“Ya Allah, bless us in the month of Rejab and Sya’ban and let us pass the month of Ramadhan”.

Without realising that time past swiftly, we are on our way once again to meet the magnificent month of Ramadhan,

As Selman Al-Farsi (may Allah be pleased with him) had narrated: “The prophet (pbuh) addressed us on the last day of Sha’ban and said: “People, a great blessed month has come upon you, a month containing Laylat al-Qadr which is better than a thousand months. Allah has made fasting during it an obligation, and steadfastly observing its nights in worship a voluntary act. Whoever undertakes an act of obedience to Allah during this month with a righteous deed, it is as if he has performed an obligatory act at other times; and whoever performs an obligatory act during it is as one who performed seventy obligations at other times.

It is the month of patience, and the reward for patience is Paradise. It is the month of goodwill, during which provisions are multiplied. Whoever feeds a fasting person will be compensated with forgiveness of sins and salvation of his soul from Hell. He will also receive a reward equal to that of the person he feeds, without causing him any reduction (in his good deeds).” (The Companions) said: “Not all of us can find something to feed a fasting person.”

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Allah gives this reward to whoever feeds a fasting person even with just a taste of milk or dates, or a drink of water. Whoever quenches the thirst of a fasting person, Allah the Almighty makes him drink from my pond such that he will never feel thirsty again until he enters Paradise. It is a month whose beginning is mercy, whose middle is forgiveness and whose end is emancipation from Hell.

Therefore display four characteristics to a greater extent; with two of which you will please your Lord, and two you cannot dispense with. The two with which you will please your Lord are to testify that there is no one deserving of worship except Allah, and to seek His forgiveness; whereas the two which you cannot dispense with are that you beseech Allah to place you in Paradise and that you seek refuge with Him from Hell.” [Related by Ibn Khuzaymah and AlBayhaqi].

I assumed you all would know better than me, I’m just rewriting the story again, because if you asked me, the narration is in our grasp and the story had been told over and over again, right?

But why, every time Ramadhan pays us a visit, people would try to revive back the miracles behind this fasting month?

Because human are naturally forgetful and with this can reanimate our heart from our deep forgettable,burn our evil desire and restrain from our oblivious manner...

Why do we fast? It is from the nature of humans to ask and to wonder why they do things. Muslims do things to please Allah, and they can please Allah only by obeying Him and practicing His religion. Thus, in answer to this question “Why do we fast?” we respond that it is a commandment and a clear order from Allah upon us and we have no other choice but to obey Allah and please Him out of Love and Fear at the same time.

Allah says what means:

“O you who believe, fasting has been prescribed for you as it has been prescribed for people before you so that you will (learn how to) attain Taqwa” (Qur’an, al-Baqarah:183)

Abu Umaamah (r.a.a.) said: I said: O Messenger of Allah, tell me of an action by which I may enter Paradise. He said: Take to Fasting, there is nothing like it. [An-Nasaa’ee, Ibn Hibbaan, Al-Haakim, Saheeh]

In this hadeeth, the Prophet (s.a.w.) singled out fasting when asked about a deed that leads its door to the best of rewards, Paradise. This fact alone is sufficient for us to understand the greatness of fasting. Mere knowledge of the importance and superiority of fasting, however, is not enough for a Muslim to attain Allah’s pleasure and then, insya Allah, His great reward.

I believe if we talk about Ramadhan, the story would never end, right? but what I like to highlight here is how you perform it, my friend..

No matter how much time you have met this month of bless, but how much you can considered as fully blessed? Any changes after it?

We can’t denied that every time we felt that we have rejuvenate ourselves, we sometimes would accidentally into our past behaviour or worst without any guilt. But that is not the point for us not to try to vary ourselves, it is the point of believe in ourselves that we can do it.Thus,Ramadhan is the best month to straighten our soul in restoring back our Iman.

But actually this hadeeth should raise our concern about fasting and increase our desire to perform this act of worship with the best intention and in accordance with the Sunnah of the Prophet (s.a.w.). The first step is for a Muslim to realize that Allah has prescribed fasting as a means of gaining Taqwa.

Allah (swt) has also informed us that it is taqwa that distinguishes people in the His sight. Didn’t we want to be the person whom ALLAH honoured?

Allah says:

“The most honoured by Allah amongst you are those best in taqwaa.” [Al-Hujurat:13]

Ali ibn Abi Taalib was asked about the definition of taqwa, to which he answered: “[It is] Fear of the All-Mighty, acting upon the revelation, preparation for the day of travel [when we meet Allah], and contentment with a small amount.”

Ramadhan will come.

Hopefully, despite all the challenges, we were all able to achieve something. Even if it wasn’t much, but at the very least, we all must have gained something, Insya Allah.

After all, all those fasts, prayers, and recitation of Quran weren’t just for nothing. Allah (SWT) says in the Holy Quran:

“…verily Allah will not suffer the reward of the righteous to perish.” (Quran; Hud:115)

Getting busier each day with responsibilities I can't refused..but I felt appreciative for it..

Hoping this coming RAMADHAN give us the opportunity to show our grateful to ALLAH who give us the chance to live and to breathe,to continue with our life and to prepared ourselves for the Hereafter.

This past few weeks that I had in getting involved in three straight programme make me realize that how we should be grateful to ALLAH who give us the time to conduct a significant and momentous programme assisted by professionals coordinators to share and learn together about Islam and da'wah.

OK,coming to my point here..Have you ever felt jealousy whenever your friend*imagine it is your best buddy* being elected to sit as school president,respected by student and lecturers,being known in the entire school?Whenever someone asked you,Is your best friend the school champion election?you nodded and a while you would be the 'postman' for your best friend's admirers?but we forget one thing..no,few things,I care to share with you in being to one's responsible..they're something we should aware before becoming a leader..the fact that is undeniable.

we are all leaders..No matter who we are or what we do,we are leaders to ourselves..before fathers lead their family,before husbands lead their wives,before managers lead their workers,before teachers lead their students,before brothers lead their siblings,before workers lead their work,before we lead ourselves,

ALLAH has stated in the Quran.Surah Al-Baqarah,30:

"Behold, thy Lord said to the angels: "I will create a vicegerent on earth." They said: "Wilt Thou place therein one who will make mischief therein and shed blood?- whilst we do celebrate Thy praises and glorify Thy holy (name)?" He said: "I know what ye know not."

We as a caliph in this world.Responsible to ourselves and others in our surrounding..our family,our friends,our neighbours..

As what had Luqman taught his son about it in Quran:

"O my son! establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just, and forbid what is wrong: and bear with patient constancy whatever betide thee; for this is firmness (of purpose) in (the conduct of) affairs. (Luqman: 17)

You are all leaders and will be questioned over your responsibilities. An Imam is a leader to the ma'mum and will be questioned over his leadership. A husband is a leader in his family and will be questioned over his leadership. "(HR Bukhari and Muslim)

Back to my question,do you get it now? A big power comes with a big responsibilities and if you are chosen to fill up the task,be grateful because ALLAH believes you can do it, but if it is on the other hand,don't think that you have no right to take the leads,just remember, you are a leader to yourself..

As for leaders,you really have the faith from people around you but do remember that a good leader is the one who willing to change and to admit from their mistakes. Sometimes we can't see our false that everybody around us could see,so listen and work more rather than talking to much because an achievement is measured mostly by our work done.

But what about this:

'I don't want to take it, I'm not suit enough!' or this;'It's OK with my grade,It is just a piece of cake,I want the position!'

There are some people who are willing to reject than to take the position?and they are some who promote themselves in taking the position even though his/her name is not listed.Can we? or shall we?What if the position took over your responsibility to your creator, or your responsibility to your family, or your grades?In this situation,priority first!

I'm not telling you that you have to reject all the position that had been considered for you in school or university, but my point is that why some people rather seeing their failure in exam than resigning their position.For me, if you can't cope with your study,better for you to let go of your position.Don't take it as an offence,because they are people who excel in their exam and at the same time becoming a president in one's association.

The formulae is simple,it just a matter of diligence and discipline.In my opinion,da'wah and study should go along together, if we want a great success in our da'wah,we must want the same thing in our study.I believe if we take it in a balance, we shall be a great da'ie and a success student as well.

How about when you are too busy with your work until you have to delay your solat!( How can even they use that kind of word in praying?)They're is no such thing in delaying your Solat because of busy,even if you are in a trades or business,you have to leave your work,as if they're in a long journey,even a musafir have to pray in jamak or qasar.Islam has state a simple way for us to ease us but not for us to take advantages on it.

When we talk about position here,is not just talking about fame or status, we were talking about a bigger utterance here,responsibility and trust.Not only to humans but to our creator,ALLAH for He is the One Who hearth and seethe (all things).

Responsibility is not a play,it is an obligation that had written to us as a caliph.Don't take it irresolutely because it will be judged in the Hereafter..

Just imagine if one's didn't take one's responsibility intently?Disaster to the world and nature..Nau'zubillah..

I remind myself before others..

Do you enjoin right conduct on the people, and forget (To practise it) yourselves, and yet ye study the Scripture? Will ye not understand?( Al-Baqarah:44)

The 2 days workshop had came to a success,not only I trained them but I also learn new things about ADOBE,*Thanks to sifu Akmal Hakim*

Looking at the team's passion and commitment making me anxious and keen to train and together learn with them *I'm more in learning actually..*.Supplied by only 5 trainers ( 2 muslimin and 3 muslimat), we manage to conduct to about 30 trainees.

And the output is fantastic! I salute to my trainees as they manage to make a nice RISALAH in only one day for almost three times!.The first risalah they try to make was almost done when suddenly my laptop went shut off.."Out of battery, but we didn't save it!"one of my tranee complain.

"Its ok, do it again.."I try to encourage them.In my heart,I was worried.Akmal want it tonight by nine,what if they haven't done yet with it.Suddenly sis najwa came to me and told me. "Ustazah Anita,..she forbid us to do the risalah after maghrib!"One more problem ahead.Calm down..Calm down,I whispered myself.

Suddenly,there is a beep,one message in my inbox.."Its ok,our workshop will be continue until 10.30..The presentation will start after that."wrote Akmal.Felt relieved for a moment before suddenly my friend blurt out..'the same thing happen to my team'..

"what??You lost it too?"I blinked in suprised but I try to calm myself.

WE PLAN, ALLAH DESTINED...

"Just continue with your work,doesn't matter it is done or not,the important is you have try!"Fatin said.*her eyes glow like sunshine*^^ another gag,aha..we through with it though*alhamdulillah*

Another effort was made..^^

Usrah IMG was built..with 3 leaders in a hope of sharing and at the same time retrieving and topup our IMAN with Mawaddah and Hubb only for ALLAH..to cure their heart for a better faith in ALLAH,to open ther mind in the objective of our team with a priority in the name of ukhwah!Seeing my juniors with the 'I-dunno-what-to-do' look and 'help-us' face giving me an urge to be with them,to hear and talk with them,ask their problem, if could through out the day..but when we talk about time limit,ya!time always envy on us..

With too many comitment needed in school as in home too,I try my best to occupy my team with a small advice whenever I come to see them..and I feel happy for their understanding..Just waiting for my driving lesson...i drive to Pedas..we'll see..^^

Last couple of days, I spent my afternoon in PEDAS ( My old but still-longing-in-my-heart-till-now school),It is just a short visit but at the end I felt a satisfaction though

It was a lovely Saturday where the sun shines brightly when my mother drove me there..ANXIOUS,EXCITED,FEAR,all I felt at once..

As we arrived at the entrance,we were blocked!

"What happened?"I asked my mother.

"You have to walk inside,visitors are not allowed to enter before 11 o clock..' the lifeguard warn us.

"Strictly!,I wonder what other changes had been made in PEDAS,makes me eager to go inside,if I recall it is about 1 year since I last visit my school,hmm....still wondering"I murmured myself.

So,I walk with my sister inside and headed to our hostel ( Zahraa and Humaira block)No one there..I stared my sis and my sis looked at her watch..ok, it 9.45..they all went for PREP, It Saturday ,right!It is PREP TIME..so we wait for about 15 minutes in the Musolla, I explore and read the 'RISALAH' that had been stick as usual on the BADAR'S BOARD..

"Ka Sarah!"Fizah,my Junior a.k.a my sister's classmate suddenly appeared in front of the musolla's door.I was paralyzed for a moment.We have a quick sweet talk but I know I have a more important progress to be made..so my hunting progress continue...

"OK,gather all IMG team within 10 minutes!"I ordered Farid*sound like a captain to me*..naa,just a gag...^^In minutes, I was at the musolla with the muslimat team after I left my sister chatting with her old friends in the Art Room*I know how excited is her*..So my meeting start and I fulfilled my progress in explaining to them on the ISLAH MULTIMEDIA ACADEMY...positive response,I would rather say,they all seem very excited...and the most important thing is their commitment,they are willing to join,learn and work in the way ISLAM want..

Our programme is in a way to bring about a success da'ie with an intellectual capabilities particularly on information technologies..

I was informed that the Muslimat IMG team was on a progress in releasing their first magazine*congratulation to IMG Team* and some of them are making montage too..*way to go,gurlz,now I'm going to be the protege,^^,*

I met Ust Anita and exchange hugs..*My dearly Arabic teacher since I first step in the school*..I take my time visiting all my juniors in the hostel and went back to Musolla at Zuhr..*Do really miss the times I spent in BADAR's room,cleaning the Musolla every Sunday*

So I called my mum to pick up us after Zuhr after she fetch my sister at the hostel."In half an hour from now,"my mother told me.I met Fatin and have a short talk,we exchange our story and recalling the memories back when they're just in Form 1*where at that time ,I'm a form 4 student*

"Ka Sarah, we have a problem!"Suddenly she just blurt out.I was shock for a moment but trying to figure out what exactly had happen behind the Walls of PEDAS..And suddenly I knew it..and giving advice seems to be the fastest solution at that time..It was just that my sister came and told me that my mother has waiting for me outside..so I close our 'one-to-one-heart talk' with a promise, I'll come back and we solve it together..

Pedas is part of me,when something happen to it,it actually happen to me!and if something is not right,I have to figure out and makes the things right..wait for us ,pedas...we make a difference in it..

We can't change people but we can make a difference!

*Insya ALLAH, ISLAH MULTEDIA ACADEMY would be held on 24-26 of JULY,dear friends are all invited*Wallahualam..

Recently,I was blog-hopping(is it a correct word?) and i realize most of the entries had the same story..I was intrigued to read more about this 'shahid kecil'-that what they called him..

And I found myself burst into drop of tears..

I felt an amazement in him..for his work in da'wa,I felt a twinge of jealousy...for his friend's compliment on him,I felt a great wonder...for his early-age death,I felt a remarkable lost..of a brother in islam,I felt a big shiver...for just to think about it,But mostly,I feltfully awaken by this tragic news of our own brother who currently studying in Mesir,Ammar Zulkafli..al-fatihah to him,May Allah place him among the Martyr in Islam..

It was not even two weeks from his death but I still cry whenever I read about him..Subahanallah..

I cry just thinking as if I'm in his place,Am I ready to face Allah?

I cry thinking as if I'm in his place,can I continuously disseminate da'wa in my life time with such a perseverance as him?

I cry just thinking how weak my soul is as I thought I can't be like him..

I cry just recalling my junior,Hanina who died in an early age of 17.. I cry yet I didn't understand..

Until I found my full-strength in reading the verses of Quran and find the answer,

' For every nation there is a fixed term,when their term expires,it can neither be delayed for a moment nor can it be made to come early.(Al-a'raf:34)

And whenever this fatal happen,it is a SIGN from ALLAH..for us to remember..for us to think that Allah is giving us chance,for us to change and consistent in it..

'Among His signs is the creation of the heavens and earth and all the creatures He has spread about them.And He has the power to gather them together whenever He wills.(Asy-syura:29)

I realize my tears must not be a tears of demoralize or weakness..

It must be tears of hearten and encouragement..

We cry of spirit that arouse in our soul..we cry in begging for forgiveness from Allah..

That is the most precious tears..Tears in grief only for Allah..

Tears that will always be longing for by ALLAH from His servant..US!!

Ask ourselves..How many times we laugh a day?Have we ever thought of ALLAH when we laugh?

We always relate laugh as a symbol of happiness,but do we ever relate Allah with our happiness whenever we laugh?.(ok,i get it..such a circumlocutory question huh?..XD)

'Let them laugh a little,much will they weep as a recompense for what they have earned'(At-taubah:82)

Now did you get what I mean..there is nothing wrong with having fun but make it as much as is necessary and do cry a lot but not in insufficiently like crying over a movie..

Make our tears a tears of hope to be a greater person in our way to realize the real meaning of being a caliph and in order to inherit our prophet's will to spread the da'wa throughout the world..

In a 2 month time..We're doing quite well and we got a supporter too!(A great applause to our Mentor-Sir Kamarul)

That was a night..a memorable night i spent with these special girls..

So our discussion began in that breezy midnight..(since our 'rokol'-stand 4 'recall' lasted in midnight)

'i'm dating a 'mat rempit'..Leeya blurt out..

'i'm desperate for a boyfriend!'Sal expressed.

'i'm in love with a married man'..honestly,Siti speak..I was just like startled and a 'aah' n a 'ooo' n a gasp..

'I'm not good at this kind of thing..honestly,never been in those kind of experience..can I help them?..n that time,I confide myself,this is it..I try my best to tell them..and a satisfy it a lot!

This 'disease' had totally infect the lifestyle of nowdays teenagers as if they can't live without it..Masya Allah..

'wierdo!!'the only word came out from their mouth when i told them i'd never coupled..

'don't you ever wonder the feeling of to love someone n to be love,knowing someone is caring for you as a bliss?I listen patiently with a smile.

'as if you never had a crush on someone?..another smile on my face.

'what would you do if someone you love propose you to be his girlfriend?won't you feel any excitement?..a 'golden' question,I smiled..

I was trying to compile the best sentence as an answer for their 'straight forward' question,I tell you when suddenly I remember..

'do you know exactly why you're chasing this kind of love?

They blinked.I giggled.

'because you didn't feel Allah's love..you didn't seek for it..o you didn't know how to express your love to Him..you turn to the 'real' one, one that you can really see,one that you can touch,one that you can contact and share your thought with,one you can spend time,exchange presents and fishing for compliments from,most of all,one that you care and love with you true heart..am i right?'I state my opinion.

They mouthed an 'O'..

'have you ever wonder to be loved by Allah,to seek His Love was far more bliss?.I questioned them back..

'do you ever feel crush with Him?..the time when we feel anxious everytime we 'met' him in our prayers,share your thought(talk with Him) in every of our Doa..felt loved by Him everytime we were in happiness,being alerted by Him whenever we fell in a fatal..being tought by Him whenever we realize from a big mistake..'

Change a little is better than not changing..That we call a bliss whenever we have the faith to change to be better in times..It is not that we have to change drastically in one night..Step by step..one by one..'they give me a smile in tears that i will never forget till now..

A splash..Woo,!where you day-dreaming or what?'my friend asked.'just recall a memory back then when we were in the PLKN,Leeya!'I give her a sincere smile.

'i hope a good one!about me?haha'she joked.

'sure,the one i treasured most!our memorable night!'I tell her..

Hope this simple story would give a moral value to us..i continously remind myself and my friends..

'To love someone means nothing,To be love by someone means something,To be love by someone you love means exciting,To be love by by Allah means everything..P/s:I just can't get this phrase out of my mind..I just love it!XD

'sara,how about a day out?'message from my dear friend.. 'sure,any idea?'I reply..Let go for a swim..so there we went that morning..feel good,ya!

First dayI arrived there with my parents..'i hate this place totally'..truthfully my first time to be exposed in such a camp..or maybe a 'dungeon' would be a suit..I felt sick just standing beside all that 'freaks' (that what i called them percisely)..i try to be polite when a girl with a pony -tail approach me that time which i honestly didn't feel any 'friendly mood' that time..i try to be an optimist but a little careful too..

First week'i want to go home!!'my heart screamin..(wo!too exaggerate for a word,i know)..but that what i felt..i just can't catch up with those kind of people..i've never had a chinese or indian friend since primary 4,i recall..its just that i once have a philipino friend back when im a primary student and I dislike her because she always showing off with her new things,.what do a 9 years old kid know?hm..

Getting a group of people that has the urge in dakwah here is like waiting for a miracle to happen -assalamualaikum,ustazah!'lierally that was my new 'nickname' there but I just move own pretending that i never hear it.It just that one mouth is ones,i can't stop people from talking..'dont u fell hot wearing that big scarf?'a chinese friend ask-refering to 'a tudung labuh'..'i'm used to it.'i answered..really,i felt a bit left out with all those 'up-2-date' people around me that sometimes i do felt like trying to be like them..my soul was not that tough,i know but i still doing fine.. i met this girl that really give me the stregth and this boy..i do remember when a night that i've been choosen to be a coordinator of a festival,he spoke to us'this is our time to show them that we can bring the truth within their soul'..be ourselves and have faith in Allah..

It's ok that i was called ustazah,o i've been left out as 'old-fashion girl' but overall i felt respected and safe..

But that time i realise,i have a responsible,i have a job...not to be like them o persuade them to be like me but to acknowledge them with the truth in islam,the way of life..

One month later,Our progress was held..me and my 4 others friend was handing out 'risalah' throuhout the camp..we make a small talk regarding women to be specialize..Some of them didnt even know that dyeing is 'haram'Subhanallah..I felt happy and more to relieve as I realise that they still have the stregth and hope to change to a better person..although they are stubborn one..it a way of nature..riteTo share with u..coupling between muslim and non-muslim is a norm here,not to mention the worse ex-SMKA with ex-SMKA..Hearing there excuse did make me feel crushed and sad..'it is one way to bring them to islam..if they love us,surely they will convert to islam'

'why do you hold hands?it still illegal..' the guy answered confidently..'they didn't know about the rules in islam.'..so it is not a sin for them..

It a sin for you!!,the word just flew in my mind..i was speechless that time..it was just i had a vision of things that would happen in a decade after that time..What would happen to our siblings out there..

Ever since I start writing, I always thought that I can't..lack of idea was my lame excuse..To tell you the truth, I really do hate writing especially when it comes on writing a 'compo',I was forcing myself to do it..but I didn't really feel the remarkable gratification whenever I finish writing what exactly running through my mind until one day, my dearest aunt suggest me to jot it..surprisingly, she added,in your own blog.

And until now, I sometimes didn't believe myself that I'm actually is writing..in my own blog!although I'm still have a lot to learn..(grammar and vocabulary),but reviving my aunt's advice,

"You share,you care!we didn't know who would jump in or enter your blog,but we do hope that the reader will leave with some new knowledge in their grasp..even if it just a small erudition.'

And now,I felt a lot to satisfy as I write because I know the feel to be content as to voice out trough my writings and to share with the readers eventually.A commenter is a part for my improvement that I really have to pay a great thank to them giving me the inspiring comment and a new vocab too..:)

I really do hope that I've manage to get a bit of your attention here, not to get a great publicity but to share my thought with the readers as I try to enhance my work on writing..My friend always ask me,

"Why do you write in English?Is it better if you write it in Malays so people can read it?I simply answered"What do you mean they will read it when it is Malays..to be notably that we do learn English since we are in standard 1, so if we count it clearly, it is a full 12 years that we used in learning English, don;t tell me that they didn't know how to read in English because obviously we learn it in ages,perhaps now we still learning it..the real question is that they didn't know or they didn't want to read it in English..because to be honest,I didn't like to read English books in my younger age, but seeing my sister, my mother..I really proud of my mother..she also manage to help on my father's thesis that was presented at the University o Wales last year.

I try to force myself into reading it,ya, it really tough though,just imagine,the one thing that I was avoiding that time was looking into the dictionary..owh, really hate it..you have to search for the word and see the meaning rapidly..it was an exhausting work indeed..so I try the simpler way, I try reading comics..Archies and Calvin n Hobbes..my two favourite comics..have you heard it? And it was easier though because whenever I didn't came out with the meanings, I try to figure it out from the pictures and I've done it..but not worthy enough..because sometimes I do make a mistake in guessing the picture..

So,I turn to a more favourable type of books,fiction one!That always came out to be a blockbuster movie...you know it..Harry potter's,the trilogy of Stephen Mayor's books and the latest was twilight..how catching the way they write it..and to be truthful,at this state, I try myself to be more manageable and more wise in using the dictionary and I figure it quite enjoying and satisfying!

Learning it from my eldest sister on how she manage to write a 'bombastic' piece of writing,I try to jot down every new word I've came across in my readings and try to re-write it using my own words..and it does help improving my writings..try it!and you will find it quite fetching..;)but as I grew up, I learn the real meaning of life,I turn my new leaf to a real, better,fascinating story that still help me in amending my English writing added me with a truth in islam and I'm still searching for it for a better days in my life..

Men are from Mars,Women are from Venus had open my eyes through the differences between the two genders,Words from Imam Al-Ghazali has been my 'antibiotics' in my daily life..The road to Makka had inspired me on the true journey of life,I really enjoy the writing of M.Asad sometimes I just can't deny in comparing him with Barrack Obama..and M.Asad seem a lot better..!And I'm making it my collection, though actually I borrow it from my sister..hehe,sorry sis!but as I say just now,sharing is caring,right?^^..It just that,I really can't make up a good decision in choosing books that sometimes I really have to ring my sister or my aunt just in order to ask them whether the book is good or not, because if not, I will end myself in buying books that sometimes didn't even worth,get it?..(have to loosen up with my 'shopaholic' symptom)

Don't get me wrong, dear readers,the real thing that I try to imply here is how we share our story to our friends did help you releasing burdensome of your thought..and personally I confess that as I speak Malays through out my daily life,I make up my mind in the only way to improve my language is to write it in my blog in the same time practising my new vocab and sharing my simple story to the readers..now everyone will satisfy, right?just stand in one phrase;

"There is no power and no strength except with Allah".I remind myself..

Recently,we were rocked by non-welcoming news from our brothers and sisters-just think of it, when morning comes, remember that the sun is shining upon thousands of miserable human, but we are blessed, it is shining on hundreds of hungry humans, but we have plenty to eat, it shines on thousands of human who are imprisoned, but we are free,it shines on thousands of human @ mama who loses their child but we are happy and healthy,sit and think deeply, look at the numbers and statistics.

How many things do you own?How much wealth you posses?How many blessing do you enjoy?How many thing that bring you delight?If not a praise to ALLAH, the Exalted, for His kindness, protection and generosity, are we qualified to have all the blessing?

The formulae is as easy as ABC if we trust in ALLAH..you'll be the happiest man in the universe..

"...And put your trust in Allah if you are indeed believers"(AL-Mai'dah:23)

Be like an ant in hard work and patience.Always keep trying and keep repenting.i f you go back to sin, then repent again.Same in memorize Quran, and if you forget it, go back and memorize it again and again.The main thing is you should never feel defeated because frankly speaking there is no such thing as the last word or the bitter end, but there is always trial and error, and learning from mistakes

Life is like a body that may undergo cosmetic surgeryLife is also like a building that can be renovated and rebuilt from scratch with new decor and paint.."Giving up sin is jihad, but persisting in it is stubbornness"

Where do we start,dear brother and sisters,the key of happiness is prostration, in other words,Fajr is the first step happen to give all the happiness to our life..remember a phrase that my father always told me,

"Early to bed, early to rise, make a man wealthy, healthy and wise".Our phrophet S.A.W also had stated that whenever it is dawn, that is when the door of Rahmah will widely open to whom that knew...

But how many of us realize it?why there are still people out there suffer in despair and frustration?People who are more than a millionaire like Bill Clinton and Cindy Crawford was likely in a marriage crisis, there is no happiness in their life..just observed nearby, our own country,it is obvious in the newspapers or magazines how most famous people will not left soundly without being in a gossip issue..where will they get their privacy?Who would dare answer it..sometimes, I would rather agreed in what Pahrol Mohamad Juoi said THAT WE LACK OF ZIKR..

A man had an argument with his wife and said," I am going to make your life miserable."The wife calmly replied, You cannot do that."He said,"Why not?"She said." If happiness is to be found in money or jewellery, you could deprive me of it and take it away from me, but it is nothing over which you or any other person has any control.I find my happiness in my faith, and my faith is in my heart, and NO ONE HAS POWER OVER IT EXCEPT ALLAH..

The only way to find happiness is by learning the true religion with which the Messenger of ALLAH was sent.Once a person finds this way, it will not matter if he sleeps in a hut or by the side of the road, and he will be content with a piece of bread and he will be the happiest person in the world,but the question is,do we (who have a shelter to stay in, food enough to eat or money much to spend) pay any grateful to ALLAH? Ask for yourself..Do we fit in becoming His grateful servant?

"We need money in order to live but that does not mean that we need to live for the sake of money"

Subhannallah..Ya ALLAH,make us part of the little..

"And surely, We gave you authority on the earth and appointed for you therein provisions (for your life). Little thanks do you give."Al-A'araf:10)

This month..got stuck in a hectic shedule..with Quran class and exams ahead,I didn't have much time to run my fingers on the keyboard(or maybe enough for this only post!)-managing to steal some time to write this,bad sarah..;-)

It is just sometimes i felt a twinge of jealousy for my friend that can spend their two month holiday with their families as me and the others had to go back to Dq,but our responsibilities is ours and if it means that we have to sacrifies our holidays then we have to..everyone of us will not be left alone without any 'busy day',the time where we didn't even bother to eat or sleep..workaholic type..but the question is have you any busy day or you busied with nothing(or busy-body?)

I always heard my friends complaining..'no work to do!' And when the others reply,'so do one!',i can't help myself from smiling..because I just can't bear in agreeing her that sometimes I do felt the same thing..and one thing to cure it,I have to make myself a busy one..Thats why I make my books on the shelves as my company whenever I felt bored,I even slept with books..which really end with the books reading me..:-)

Not to mention it helps our mind grow too,but be careful in choosing them..we all know how the world had partial changes in nowdays civilisation as more people are getting brilliant and educated,should or have we ever asked ourselves where in the state are we now?Are we still in a comfort zone of flirting with someone or sleeping all day long rather than thinking what will happen to us in the years ahead?or getting ourselves busy with plans on reaching our goals and achieving our dreams?

If we think that 'we have time','dont worry','do it later',we are wrong,totally wrong..because to be honest,if we think that we really need time,than we realize that responsibilities exceeding times..and that time we can't even occupy our thought with tiny craps..as we all familiar with the phrase 'don't do tomorrow what you can do today'..a good phrase,right?

Have we even done our duty perfectly as a student?as a son /daughter? as a brother/sister? not to mention after marriage or how about our duty as a full-servant of Allah and a caliph in this world,don't ever say you don't have thing to do because too many responsibilities ahead you that sometimes you didn't even notice..

'By the time through the ages!Surely mankind is in loss,except those who believe and do good deeds,exhort one another to the truth and exhort one another to patience.(Al-Asr:1-3)

If we ask ourselves,have we been a good son/daughter to our parents,or an understanding pal to our friends or a loyal servant to Allah?if not do we really have to wait until the world end that we would change?

Remember of me about a phrase,bad phrase..life begin at 40,for the white men,it took it as a meaning to enjoy their time more in the age of 40 which is really bad..but some of our Malays misused it by telling that 40 is a good time to be a better person,if I want to wear 'hijab',it will be the age of 40?can you resist?meaning that 40 is the age of changes..How can some people manage to think that a year of 40 is the time to change?what if we die before even we get 40?we even can't predict when will be our death..some of us just would rather busied themselves with enjoyament than responsibilities that i've just mention..agreed?

I was reading one of my book collection that had mention one meaningful sentence,get yourself busy!

I found myself a little bit confuse the first time,but as I force my eyes to plod through the lines in my book(it is midnight,huh,really,sometimes I did'nt care,to be honest,didn't even bother the time whenever I held my book especially book that i really enthuse in),I figure it myself.

'cease from busies is a dawdle,and free time is the worse thief'..if we didn't use our time on doing useful things,your time will left you with loss..don't wait until your real 'busy day' come when you can busied yourself in your free time,get it?

So think again when you didn't do a thing because it is you to choose..be as busy as bee..not a busybody!

Last night,I went to Alson Klana attending a night preview of ESQ..have you heard about it??

Most of my family was participating..it was the first ESQ team to be in Negeri Sembilan lead by Pak Ari Ginanjar Agustian,Author of bestseller Book,ESQ power..

I was stunned as I hear the speech delivered by Pak Firdaus,according to him,ESQ balances the spiritual.emotional, and intellectual aptitude and attitude.Its fits nicely in the total training philosophy of interfacing work, life and learning.

I'm truly impressed on the way they attract people on the 3 days training..the important 3s which is Senyum symmetry,Salam Semut and Sahabat Sejati..

Although I'm not participating on the training,actually the training is for the adults but the 2 hour preview last night is enough to make me amazed.

We as human needed to balance our IQ,EQ and SQ,Let us compare this three situation,

1)Ahmad was an intellegent businessman who had 4000 workers under him.Obviously,he really good in trade but he was hated by his own workers by his rude manners,he is lack of the emotional quotients,I supposed,right?

Using the same example,just making it easier,2)Ahmad was an intellegent businessman who had 4000 workers under him.Not only he is a brilliant bv he also have a good social relation with his workers.He really put his full effort on his employee's right making him to be a person with full respect but the thing is he didn't know the meaning of life what related with our spiritual quotient..And it end with just being a manipulator who manipulated others for its own purpose,wana'uzubillah..3)Do I need to give example..(JK.)I think you can predict it,right?when we us the three quotient balancely,there is when we will become 'khaira ummah' as what is stated in the Quran,

But the question is what will be the main core?is it IQ or EQ or SQ?

The answer is in the Quran..

'And from wheresover you start forth(for prayers),turn your face in the direction of Al-Masjid-Al-Haram(at Makkah),and wheresover you are,turn your faces towards it sn that men may have no argument against you except those of them that are wrong-doers,so fear them not,but fear Me!-And so that I may complete My Blessings on you and that you may be guided.(Al-Baqarah:150)

Everything we've done will never be hidden from Allah..and Al-Quran is the best medicine for our soul..and that makes SQ the importance..but doesn't mean that we have to ignore our IQ and EQ,it just that we have to develop our SQ in order to help maintaining our IQ and EQ because when we knew the meaning of life,that is when we can answer this following questions:who I am?Where am I?What I do now?Where I am in the next?

For instant, what happen in one of a country in USA,California which is known as a country which high in sociality and intelect..most of the best universities is there with all the brilliant lecturers and students,when we talk about english movies,remind us about Hollywood,yes,until now,Hollywood did conquer the world including Malaysia..We also have heard about Bevearly Hills right?who is fond with the 'totally Spies may knew abov that famous place..but the point is do you know what really happen over a decade back in California?More than 4000 people was comitting in a suicide..on the bridge..until the only solution made by its government was placing public phones along the bridge in order to give the hopeless humans to make a conselling before they decide to throw themselves below the river..can you imagine it?

If we recall the story of Musa in his searching for Lord on the Mount of Tur for about 40 days.

'Then when Musa had fulfilled the term and was travelling with his family,he saw a fire in the direction of Tur(Mount).He said to his family:'Wait,I have seen a fire,perhaps I may bring you from there some information,or a burning fire-brand that you may warm yourselves.So when he reached it(the fire),he was called from the right side of the valley,in the blessed place,from the tree:'O Musa!Verily I am Allah,the Lord of the Alamin(mankind,jinn and all that exists)!Al-Qasas:29-30

And when Allah revealed His power by destroying the Mount of Tur and that is when Musa believe and the only words flew from his mouth that time was 'La ila ha illallah'.And how about 5 years taken by our prophet searching for the real meaning of life up in Gua Hira' making him away from the Jahiliah until one day when came down the first 5 sentences in Al-alaq,

'Read! in the Name of your Lord Who has created(all that exists.He has created man from a clot(a piece of thick coagulated blood).Read!and your Lord is the Most Generous.Who has taught(the writing) by the pen.He has taught man that which he knew NOT!.

But what captured my heart that time was a question,'How many years have you use in searching the true meaning of life?or we just become a manipulator to ourselves,preoccupied by the play of the world without realize that time run fast every and each moment,when the time comes,we all will face ALLAH..

That was ESQ is all about..1 ehsan,6 pillars in Iman,5 pillars in Islam..

I wish to join the Mahasiswa team soon..Ameen..

Seeing all my family after their training really motivate me most.What is the speciality of this course,it is not only for muslims but to all religions as I was shock to see Billy Lim,author of 'Dare to fail' as one of the alumni,

It was windy in Darul Quran.Sometimes I felt like I was in a northen part of the world.We was assured to wear a sweater.Can you imagine how strong the wind is?I was enjoying the feel of the wind back in my class when my mind just recall when I was in kindergaten, I once ask my teacher.

'Teacher,where is Allah?How come we never saw Him?'My teacher questioned me back.'Can you feel the wind?I nodded.Can you see it?I shooked my head then.Do you believe it's existance?I nodded again.The same as Allah,We never saw Him but we can feel Him in our heart and we believe His existance!'explained my teacher.

That time,I just nodded without any idea what my teacher was babbling about.She just said,You will grow and will understand,look around you and you'll find the answer.

'Allah brought you forth from the wombs of your mothers when you knew nothing,and He gave you hearing,sight and intelligence so that you may give thanks to Him.'(An-Nahl:78)

Allah give us the sight and hearing for us to observe the world..with the combination of our intelligent,we learn the good and bad things in the world.

Just look at a tiny creature that live in colony like ants and bees..Whenever I saw those creatures, I like to see their doing,may be some will call me an insane but what I'm thinking is differ, I realize that we as muslims can't live alone without a colony just like ants..We need to work together,help each other,love and care with all our heart.There is no such word as tight-fisted in the ant's world.No matter how much they collect their food,it is surely will be shared equally among themselves.In order to built mujahideen,we have to have people which mean more than one,we have to work in a congregation.We have to create people with the same thinking in building a generation that really take islam as a way of their life.We are the one that responsible in it.

What would be the answer, if someone asked you about the most strongest building in the world? I'm sure you will come out with many different answer..'the spinx..or may be Big Wall of China..but have you realize how strong a tree could be..not only strong,but beneficial too,just imagine the roots that is origanally grip through the soil,how it will suck in the water in order to make the tree healthier,sometime if we look the trees and plant around us,we realise how Allah created thing that not just small but also strong..

Whenever,I feel sad, I imagine of the colourful of a rainbow,with that,I felt calm..my friend once give me a word or two that explain about the rainbow..

'Whenever we are disappointed in something,just remember, a rainbow never came out unless after the rain,and every difficulties,they must be a relief.

Look how Allah create the morning with light(sun) for us to work and search for live an how Allah created the dark night for us to rest and the stars as guidence for the ship?

Do you think Allah create something without any purpose?

Let us think the meaning of these verses,

'Is not He(Allah,),who has created the heavens and earth,send down rain from the sky and with it brings forth the beautiful gardens not better than the false gods that they worship?Just think who has made the earth a place for your residence,caused in it the rivers to flow,set mountains upon it and placed a barrier betwen the two seas?Just think who answers the oppressed persom when he cries out to Him and relieves his affliction,and makes you,O mankind,inheritors of the earth?just think who guides you in darkness on the land and the sea and who sends the winds as heralds of good news of His Mercy?Just think who originates creation and then repeats its production and who gives you sustances from the heavens and the earth?Say'Show us your proof if you are telling the truth!'say,No one in the heavens or in the earth has the knowledge of the unseen except Allah'(An-Namal:60-65)

Whenever,we felt like being a jerk,just look and observe the world wide,and remember the creator(Allah) and try to searh the peace with Solat and Du'a.. We really didn't need any M16 to fight,what we need is du'a and a full rely on Allah..thats our real weapon..

'He is the Creator of the heavens and the earth,When He decrees a thing,He needs only to say,'Be' and there it becomes,(Al-Baqarah:117)

We were having our qiraat class when my ustaz came in with a wirely smile and said'we have a test today!

Usually,when we were stuck in a 'shock test',that was the time when we're starting to make up with excuses for example 'ustaz,we're not ready yet!' or may be we will secretly flip through the pages of our textbook in order to find the correct answer but the problem is we didn't have any chance just to peek on it.Did u get it?

'Ok,Hasmiza,stand up and answer my question and the rest please keep quit..'Now,do you get it?

5 minutes standing in silence really didn't help her much.We try to help her when suddenly my ustaz warn us.

'Imagine that you are dead and I'm Munkar that in charge on questioning you,it is up to you to answer it,right?No one is going to help you,you are alone in your grave.'

Just then my friend pass the textbook and said' Ustaz,this is the reward from the good deed she had done on earth.

My class burst out in laughter but there is a question that really can't leave my mind that time..Am I ready for the real examination in Hereafter?

Just then,I open my quran and read it..Whenever I read from sentence to another,my mind just came out with questions that make me felt guilty of myself.

'Do I pray 5 times daily with true devotion?'

'O Muhammad,say to them.'My Rabb has commanded justice and that you set your faces in the right direction at the time of every prayer and call on Him with true devotion.You shall return to Him as He created you in the beginning'(Al-A'raf:29)

'Do I ever think just in a moment about death?

'For every nation there is a fixed term,when their term expires,it can neither be delayed for a moment nor can it be made to come early.(Al-A'raf:34)

Do I wear the appropriate clothes?

'O children of Adam! we have sent down to you clothing to cover your nakedness and as an adornment,however,the best clothing is the clothing of piety.This is one of Allah's revelations so that the people may learn a lesson.(Al-A'raf:26)

Do I ever realise whatever I'm doing that is bad was going to give the credit for the Satan's vow?

'I will come upon them from the front,from the rear,from the right and from the left,and You will not find most of them to be grateful'(Al-A'raf:17)

Do I take the Quran as my fully guidance?

'We have revealed the Quran in Truth and with the Truth it has come down:and O Muhammad,We have sent you only to give good news to the believers and to warn the unbelievers.We have divided the Quran into sections so that you may recite to the people with deliberation, and We have sent it down in gradual revelations to suit particular occasions.(Al-Isra':105-107)

Whenever it came about sitting in an exam, we really hope for a success, that is why sometimes, there are some people that rather not eat just to finish their revision,for me we really need to manage our time wisely in order to get healthy life..coming to our main topic,how can we manage our life in order to success in Hereafter?

Is it enough by getting 4.0 in our CGPA? Or having a good job with lots of money in our hands?

Exams that we sit now is just a determinant for a better life and job but the exam that we will have in the Hereafter is the one that will be the determinant of our destination whether it will end in the heaven or hell(wana'uzubillah)

Now,is the time that we quest our knowledge and conquered the field in becoming not just the true muslim but also the true mukmin,insya allah..

Who is the success?

'Indeed successful are those believers who are humble in their prayers,who avoid vain talk,who are punctual in the payment of Zakah,who guard their private parts except with their spouses or those who are legally in their possession,for in that case they shall not be blamed,however those who seek to go beyond that in lust are the one who shall be the transgressors-who are true to their trust and covenants,and who are diligent about their Salah.These are the heirs,who will inherit paradise,and live therein forever.(Al-Mu'minun:1-11)

Who is the clever?Those who remember death.

I remembered myself and you that all the work we have done will be judged in the Day of Judgement..there is no one that will be left adjudged.

Taken the words from Abdullah bin Abu Amru,he said,

'Work for your worldly as if you're going to live forever and work for the next as if you're going to die tomorrow'

We have to stop at the next station,"suggested my friend.We haven't pray yet.

Ya,for sure..'I added.With the crowd in the train, we really couldn't even breathe properly..sort of..I'm going back to my house in Bangi having 5 days holiday( felt relieved..)but that day turned out to be a bit miserable at first but an interesting journey at the end..

It all started when we first get off the train at Bandar Tasik Selatan.We walk in searching for the musolla but it turn out to be a 'no musolla' when we asked a girl working at one of the small shops there.We didn't loose our hope.We walk and try to ask a guy.

Alhumdulillah, that is what I want to hear."there is a musolla across the road,you have to walk to the other side,told the guy.After a thank to him, we make our move across the road anxiously as our watch turn to 20 minutes to 7.After performing our prayer, we stop a while at the shop to buy some food as we haven't ate any that afternoon.

We are waiting for the next train while eating our bread when a group of teenagers appeared and just messing around.They also tried to play a fool with us that make me really not in a good mood that time.

My friend try to calm me that time.'be patient,they just being a bit naughty..'

A few minutes later,our train arrived but it seems that we couldn't fit in it,ya,its true,we didn't fit at all,with the crowd inside and the crowd outside,we nearly been push and fell before we can even enter the train..

Suddenly,my mind just rotating and thought..this is not right..why is this day become miserable?my friend tabbed me to the present.

'its maghrib,lets pray..I was thinking that somehow i didn't even heard the call of prayer..Astaghfirullah'We went back to the musolla and prayed.Just then I found the answered to my question..

'Do the people think that they will be left alone on saying'We believe,' and that they will not be tested?'(Al-ankabut:2)

'i think we can't make it there after isya..look at the people waiting for the train..'my friend told me.I called my mum to tell about the delay. When we come back to the waiting area,the people was still as many when we left for the Maghrib prayer..What makes me sad is that it is Maghrib but why the musolla is not as crowd as the waiting area?Are they forget the important of prayers?the purpose of their life?

Some of them just can play around playing jokes rather than answering the prayer.If only they knew it.

'The life of this world is nothing but a pastime and play!It is the life of the hereafter that is the true life,if they knew it'(Al-ankabut:64)

We missed our second train just then..

I was murmuring to myself when I accidentally bumped into a girl and this is where the interesting story begin..I did make some converse with the girl that introduce herself with a name mardhiah,kak mardhiah,I supposed cause she is 4 years older than me.

Ka Mardhiah was also on her way to the UKM..(the same destination as me).

Visit my brother.'she answered when I asked her purpose going to UKM.It seems that Kak Mardhiah just had the same situation as me,she missed the train too..

After introducing each other,I know that the person I'm talking with is a 'gynecologist to be'..Wow,a job that now days women are rarely in it.'Maybe someday I will see you.'She nodded smiling before answering' Insya Allah..if I could make it for my practical exam with flying colours.'We laughed.

Without feeling the time goes fast,my watch shows 10 minutes to 9 when the third train arrived,unfortunately,we didn't make for that train either..feeling a bit disappointed,we make our way to the bench nearby and sit waiting for another train..

'i think i couldn't make it...it's 9.30 and I think the meeting will be done in any hour by now'said kak mardhiah.

Oo I see,kak mardhiah is going for a meeting and she thought that may be she can pay a visit for her brother..

'Don't you wish to see your brother,may be the next train will bring the luck'I suggested.

'I think i can have another try..but this will be the last.I have work to do tomorrow..'When the next train come,we didn't have any chance to even step forward for the train when a number of people just crash into the crowd in the train.

Shorten my story,kak Mardhiah went back to her hostel feeling tired( i couldn't imagine how sad she felt when she called her brother to cancel her journey)

So,that leave me with my friend looking hope for our next train(hope it would be the last one we wait)...

And alhumdulillah..it is although it is a bit crowded but we felt relieved as we didn't have to wait for another train..or may be we have to cancel it...

We arrived at the UKM exactly 15 past ten..my father fetched me there feeling worried but I explained the whole thing.

After I settled my thing,I am ready for my long nap before my phone beep..it was a message from Kak Mardhiah asking how my journey..

I reply with a smile.' alhumdulillah,I'm safely home after 5 train missed..(giggle)ukhwah fillah'

'Assalamualaikum, kak bibi..how's your day today? 'it quite difficult for me after all,but it will not be enough for me to make it an excuse to leave dq! It will not be eccepted'Kak bibi joked.We both laughed.

Last couple of week,Darul Quran had been cheered up by new welcomed students.Ka bibi is one of them.

Unluckily,they all had been tested by the absence of light in their world..they were not able to see the beauty of the nature..pity on them but Allah is the best judge of all..there ought to be a reason whenever something happenned because we all know that Allah knows the best..

Unfortunately for me, I didn't have the chance to be one of their roomate so I just have to go to their room to meet them. Some of our friend had the same room with the blinds in order to accompany them at least until they really settle down and get use with the new environment.

As I mentioned just now,Ka bibi was lucky to have stayed at Dq,not only learning Arabic and Tafsir,she also get the chance on memorizing the Quran using braille.

But what makes me proud and amaze of them,(Ya Allah, I wish I can be as tough as them),they have their own strength to live like other people do.

I once ask kak bibi what makes she wanted to memorize the Quran..and what she said is just three simple but valuable words; I love Quran..

The words really left a big mark on my heart, nowdays,people really use the meaning of love for something that didn't worth..What makes the blinds so special,because they didn't waste their sight on something invaluable to see makes their heart always in calm unlike eye-sighted one,they are more likely to be having problems especially regarding their feelings,After all,eyes is the window to the soul..

In the Quran itself has stated that men should lower their gaze..

'Enjoin the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty,that is chaster for them.Surely Allah is well aware of their actions.(An-Nur:30)

More strictly on women..

'Likewise enjoin the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty,not to display their beauty and ornaments except what normally appears there of,let them draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their charms except to their husbands,their fathers,their fathers-in-law,their own sons,their stepsons,their own brothers,their nephews on either brothers or sisters,their own womenfolk,their own slaves,male attendants who lack sexual desires or small children who have no carnal knowledge of women.Also enjoin them not to strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden trinkets.And O believers! Turn to Allah in repentance, all of you,about your past mistakes,so that you may attain salvation.(An-Nur:31)

Kak bibi also told that how glad she was been chosen to be a part of 'Dquens'(that what I called for people who studied at DQ)..

Sometimes,I just can't figure or differentiate which one is the blind student,they walk as if they can see,sometimes,we the norms is the one who react like a blind didn't even look where we walk to but just realizing it when we bump onto the wall or fell into the big drain..shame on us.

Some of them did use a crosier to walk but some of them didn't even need us to hold them. Their heart was too chaste that they can rely on it to make their own move.

'We walk when our heart say so,we just believe in ourselves,it was just like seeing a bright light in front of us that makes our feet steps,'explained kak bibi,

My eyes widen in amazement.

As for the boys,their hostel is way far from the masjid that they had to cycled to get there but the distance didn't broke the blind's spirit as I can see they really walks to the masjid everytime the call of prayer was heard.

'You are special,you know..'I exclaimed.

'We are special,'kak bibi corrected.'as long we take Islam as our religion and Quran as our guidence..Obey what Allah says and avoid His iration'she continued.

In a while,I really feel adviced hearing each word that Kak bibi was saying..

We are special..

'We have indeed created man in the best stature,then We abase him to the lowert of the low,except those who believe and do good deeds-for they shall have a never ending reward.'(At-Teen:4-6)

'O Rabb!open our heart,ease our task and remove the impediment from our speech,guide us to the Right Way,give us the strength on memorizing Your Words,You are the one who hears all and knows all'Ameen..

'I've always been the kind of girl,that hid my face,so I'm afraid to tell the world,what I got to say,but I have this dream right inside of me,I'm going to let it show,its time to let you know.'

Hearing this song somehow give me the strength to write about this post.

We are now have step on a new zone of year(1430H/2009M),we better make a change right?

'The fact is that Allah never changes the condition of a people until they intend to change it themselves. If Allah wants to afflict a people with misfortune,none can ward it off,nor they can find any protecter beside Him'(Ar-Ra'd:11)

This morning, I did receive a message from my dearest friend,Anees.

'Sarah,I'm on the way to the airport,pray for my safe journey'.

Anees is going to Indonesia doing her practical on medicine within 2 month,gud luck for her..

It was just like last couple of days when I first step my feet to Pedas and make new friends as I always have new friend(transferring to different school every 2 years really make me a little bit difficult on getting settle with new environment)and just like yesterday,we had took our SPM result with tears of happiness..Now,without realising the time goes by,we have left Pedas and take our own path in achieving our goals but amazingly what makes 'ukhwah' a beautiful word,we didn't feel apart as we still contact each other,seeing each other in our spare time,and sometime we also have a sleep over.

Coming to this new year,'back to school'is the most known phrase..among younger students,I can see it when I look how excitedly my sisters and my brother getting ready with their school stuff..all the stationary,new bags and my sister also had a quick review on the new textbook bought by my parent..well done,sis..a sign of an excellent student..I really miss the old days in school..but as one says life must go on..But we ought to make a difference,a good one,nobody is perfect but we can try in order to be one..

I remember hearing a 'tazkirah' by one of my seniors in Dq,about how most muslims react nowdays unnaturally and unpredictably,women is now mostly in danger,children being kidnapped and killed,youngsters are destroyed just because of a little pinch of drugs.My friend ones tell me how she felt when going on a walk the night when the indepent day celebration was held at the Dataran Merdeka but what she saw is a way beyond a celebration,it was more like a picture of disaster among youngsters.

We're just being rocked by the clamorous news of our siblings in Gaza,being treated like an animal,being killed without huminity,could you imagine if you are at their place,they're fighting for their pride,their life and most of all fight for islam..

The question is are we ready and willingly to be like one of them?Hope this new year will open our mind to a better resolution in the future,the most important thing to survive islam,our truly religion in the world.Who will start if not us,care to be a 'mujahid to shahid'?Go for extra miles..in building up our new character in this new year!

About Me

Today you are a writer, but tomorrow you'll be a leader!
I'm just another student of knowledge who like to express my feelings through writing at the same time sharing my little experience with you in this challenging life. Currently studying in IIUM pursuing degree of law and syariah (biiznillah). Overall, the ideas are from Him and to Him I be grateful=)
To live will be a great adventure if u take quran as ur guidance n ALLAH as ur goal