Monday, May 7, 2012

Bring Rocky Home - 2012-05-07 - 11:00pm

There is so much that I want to say to you tonight but I don't ever want you to think that I am mad at you....

I am frustrated, I am sad, I am mad at myself, I am scared..... those are just some of the feeling that I have at the moment..... To be honest with you, I don't even know if you are alive. You wrote to me on March 14th - just a few sentences but that was not enough.... no one has seen you or heard from you in almost two months.... It is so scary not to know.... The police is not doing anything, they assume that you left on your own so you are fine. WE JUST DON'T KNOW!!!

I trust that you are safe but there is that little fear that creeps in every now and again: "What if he is not OK"? I dont even want to tell your dad what I am thinking.... everytime I do that, I pray to God just to keep you safe, to let you contact us and just tell us where you are. I know that this is not easy for you but this is so much harder for everyone that loves you and that careS about you. You know where we all are - you have the power to contact us whenever you like but for us, there is noting to confort us, nothing to make us feel better, no number that we can call just to talk with you.

Like I said, I am not mad at you but if I could only talk to you, just hear your voice.... It would be so much better than to not know.... this is driving me crazy. I go though stages where I am fine, where I believe everything is ok... I pray every day, I know that there are still hundreds of people praying for you every day, people all over the world - praying that God keeps you safe, praying that you will come home, praying that you have food to eat.... I mostly want you to be happy, I hope that you have someone to talk to, someone that cares about you as much as we do... I am also a little selfish because I really just want to to come home.

Rocky, I don't care if people think that I am making a fool of myself for begging you to come home... I don't care to admit that I made many mistakes when it comes to you... I don't care what anyone thinks of me - all I care about right now is that we find you and that you come back home to us. I would like nothing more than for you to have a family, to feel a part of a family and to give you everything that you ever wanted - and I am not talking about material things, I am talking about love, respect, support - all of those things.

It is so nice to see that some of the flyers that we mailed out actually made it to the doors of some of the shelters. The minister that put this flyer up also called me and gave me some really good advice when I was there. She is doing such a wonderful job at the shelters but there is such a shortage of money and people to help.

Just so you know - we are running around all over the country looking for you.... you dad is so sad and so disappointed when he gets home at night and we found nothing. But you know what - we get up the next morning and start all over again.... hoping for a better day.... and praying for the outcome that we all so badly need....