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If you’ve always thought of retirement as a time to play golf or go fishing every day, it may be time to rethink your options. Today’s older adult is bombarded with an array of exciting things to do, and it goes way beyond a few years of self indulgence. Of course it all starts with learning how to take care of yourself so that you can be sharp and active enough to enjoy them.

The reason for this change in attitude is the increase in lifespan (for both men and women) that has sneaked into the equation over the last few decades. This means, that many adults will have more time to consider adventures, travels, volunteer opportunities and even second careers. Today, this time of life is considered a “third age” and it could mean that you have 20, 30 or even 40 more productive years ahead of you. This is really quite a long time. Unless you plan on being a golf-pro or decide to run a fishing boat charter, you may find your initial enthusiasm isn’t enough to keep you engaged.

So, what are you going to do with the rest of your life? There was a time when financial planning was the only thing that you really had to worry about before you retired, but even that has changed. Growing old isn’t exactly fun (except for the not working part) but it is going to happen whether you embrace it or not, so you might as well make the best of it. Sulking about each new ache, pain, wrinkle or gray hair isn’t going to cut it if you have things to do and places to go.

Allan M. Kleiman (Library Journal: New York: July 2, 2010) has some timely recommendations in his article about the new golden years, He suggests that the public library is the go-to place to help you plan for your retirement. A wide range of materials are available and many of them encourage life-long learning, brain health, creativity and volunteer opportunities. Be sure to look for the latest materials available. Information is being updated so quickly that much of it will be time sensitive after a few years. For example: Did you know that Elderhostel (the popular travel/education organization for seniors) recently changed its name to Road Scholar? While many searchers still request traditional titles on finances, social security and estate planning, you can find information on anything that piques your interest. You can explore a world of options that were not available to you while you were busy working and raising a family. Think about what has happened in the world of travel, technology, and volunteer opportunities. The bottom line is that you need to start thinking outside the box, and you know what box I am talking about. Go to your public library to start researching and exploring all of the exciting options available to you.

Yesterday I wrote about newly retired persons making the big decision about whether to relocate to another area or not. Today we move a little beyond that as it nears the time when your children are going to want to have “the talk” with you. Sue Shellenbarger reminds us that it isn’t always easy in an article about “the talk with mom and dad.” (The Wall Street Journal: February 23, 2011).

What about that talk. Hopefully you have been making decisions for “what if” or “just in case” all along. I hate the thought of you being subjected to “the talk” by someone who waltzes in and out of your life once or twice a year. I understand the decisions and the thoughts about what to do in case something awful happens, but I found the article rather disturbing with its 40-70 rule. This rule implies that if your kids are 40 and you are 70, it is time to start talking. Sigh, I am staring down the road at 70 and I am not remotely ready to start thinking about “the talk,” even though I fully understand the need to plan ahead.

After working with seniors for many years I don’t think of 70 or even 80 as old, older perhaps, but not old and we are certainly not frail. I recognize that some seniors need long term care facilities, but I also recognize that many people can live their entire lives without having to move into an aged-care facility.

The best way to avoid the “talk” is to make a plan yourself. Your plan should including doing whatever you can to make sure that you remain independent as long as possible. If your adult children feel hurried and harried about your changing care needs they are more apt to push you toward the most convenient option. Family members are often not the best to decide what kind of care is needed. It is critical to assess your entire situation before jumping to conclusions. Sometimes it takes an outside party, like a private assessment professional, to help make a plan that is less overwhelming for all of you.

Remove the clutter from your lives and make a plan. Address all of the pros andcons about making a move (hopefully before the need arises) and make your wishes known. Sitting and murmuring that you suppose whatever they decide is okay, takes any control you might want to have out of the equation.

Dementia, of course, is another issue altogether. People with dementia may not be capable of making decisions in their own best interests. If you have done everything possible to remain physically and mentally strong, you may be able to dodge this bullet for the time being. A comprehensive assessment should be done before and after the “talk.” There are people on the “outside” who should be receiving professional assisted living care, but there are also people on the “inside” that could get by with home care. Many people live their entire lives without having to move into a care facility so explore your options and be in on the plan.

You may not be looking into a retirement community, but I imagine that thoughts about whether you should move or not have crossed your mind. Bernice Bratter author of “The Project Renewment,” writes that we should be giving this very important question some serious thought. Many of us have spent our entire adult lives crisscrossing the country, or at the very least moving from one community to another. Our generation pioneered the “mobile society” as we followed job opportunities from one area to another. Our family moved so often that the thought of becoming emotionally attached to a particular house has never crossed my mind. Not everyone feels that way. Relocation means giving up everything that is familiar to us, and I am not sure that we ever get used to that.

What are some reasons that might make you want to move? How about being closer to your family? If you know that your daughter/daughter-in-law works full time and could use some help with home management, you might consider moving near by in order to lend a hand. Having you live nearby would mean that they wouldn’t have to worry about your welfare if you should need help too, so it works both ways.

It is good to get away from your old work place, especially if you were in a position of power. You are no longer the “go to” person and being able to accept the changing of the guards will be easier from a distance.

Plan your move carefully though. It is hard to pick up and move every four-five years, so think ahead. Get rid of stuff as you pack and get yourself into the downsizing mode. Think ahead. Downsize into a place that will work for just the two of you or for you alone, if that is how your life plays out. Be practical. Avoid stairs at all cost, and think about how far you might have to drive to your favorite destinations. Move somewhere where you can walk to stores, church, recreational and social facilities, so that you aren’t stuck when you can no longer drive.

Make an effort to belong when you move to a new community. You will be the new one and nobody cares about you one way or the other. It will be up to you to reach out and get involved in your new community.

Moving is not for everyone. About 90% of older people remain in their own homes or move somewhere where they have positives ties to a community, family or friends. The best place to retire might be in the community where you have spent your entire life. The message she gives is to plan and think right now about whether you want to move or not.

Reasons to move:

Living closer to children and grandchildren. Annual visits are not enough for either you or for them.

Needing less physical space and possessions.

Financial benefits.

Increased availability of medical services. A cabin on a lake in the wilderness is probably not a good plan, even though you might want to be closer to nature.

Opportunity for a more desirable lifestyle.

Wanting to move to a warmer climate for health reasons.

Don’t forget employment and volunteer opportunities because you still have a life to live.

Busy. Busy. Busy. Do you ever get tired of being busy all of the time? Sometimes, the best way to enjoy retirement, according to Roger May (Wall Street Journal: New York, N.Y. September 13, 2009) is to get away from it all.

You are retired for heaven’s sake, why in the world would you need a vacation? Every day should be a vacation. Retirement, by definition, means a break from your past and a break from full time work.

For most of us retirement isn’t the calm oasis that we thought it would be. If you have opted to travel you may have found that travel, and everything associated with it, is quite exhausting. At times taking a vacation seems more like work than work itself, and it is far from being tranquil. Even the pace of travel is exhausting, especially if you feel pressured to do and see as much as possible in order to get your moneys worth.

The author supposes that what is missing in life is the kind of do-nothingvacations that you took when you were working. It didn’t always turn out that way back then either, but the dream was always there. You probably feel that retirement should be one big vacation, with plenty of time to take it easy and do whatever you want, but that isn’t how it works these days. Everywhere you turn you hear people talking about how they don’t know how they ever had time to work because they are so busy now.

Time is now spent adding to a list of activities that just goes on and on. There are meetings to go to and functions to attend. There are sporting activities, there are trips to the gym and there are errands and doctors appointments, and classes, and hobbies, and a hundred other things that fill the days to overflowing. Most of us don’t have a clue as to where the time goes.

So, don’t let anyone give you a hard time when you tell them that you are planning a relaxing vacation. Plan away. September is always popular for seniors because other vacationers, especially those with children, have packed up for home. It doesn’t hurt that many places have off season rates as well. It is time for you to enjoy visiting with friends, go for long walks and read that stack of long neglected books. If you are scheduling yourself to the point of exhaustion, it may be time to take a real vacation in order to get away from it all.

You aren’t as young as you used to be but do you worry that you are slowingdown too much? Chronic fatigue isn’t just associated with aging, but if you visit a senior community you will notice a fair share of the residents are snoozing their days away.

As you grow older, slowing down is a common concern. Experts, according to Kathleen Phalen (The Washington Post: Washington D.C.: June 6, 2000) assure us that aging and fatigue are not synonymous, and there is usually a reason for your lack of vigor. It is important that you don’t shrug off your lack of pep as just another sign of old age. Tiredness is natural and it is indeed nature’s way of telling you to slow down and get some rest. If your fatigue doesn’t respond to simple lifestyle changes like rest, good food, hydration, a daily vitamin and moderate exercise, it is time to see your doctor.

There are so many possible reasons for excessive fatigue that it boggles the mind. Chronic fatigue is characterized (Sarah Stacey: Daily Mall: London: October 23, 2010) by profound physical and mental tiredness and can be quite disabling. The exact cause is not known and extensive research has not been able to come up with an answer. Researchers have isolated enough suspects to assure us that their work is far from over.

Your doctor will look at side effects from prescription drugs (blood pressure medications, migraine treatment, antidepressants, and medications for epilepsy are prime suspects, and over-the-counter medications are not far behind). Infections, stress, anxiety, depression, alcohol consumption and/or recreational drugs can also cause fatigue. Food allergies or intolerances, yeast infections, diabetes, hormone imbalances, hypertension or other heart abnormalities, cancer and a myriad of are other possibilities. If lab work is unrevealing he/she will want to know about your sleep patterns, diet, alcohol intake, your exercise schedule, stress, lost of family or friends and other medical symptoms. If a physical cause can’t be highlighted you may be evaluated for depression.

It could be something as simple as your habit of skipping meals or if you consume too many sweets and too much caffeine. Even a relatively good diet can be laced with culprits that steal energy. Excessive caffeine and sugar can play havoc with blood glucose and energy levels. As you can see, if you are really concerned that you are slowing down too much and too fast, a 15 minutes appointment with your doctor is not going to be enough. Be forthright with your doctor and be willing to do a little work yourself in order to help him/her get to the root of your concerns. Taking it easy is not the best treatment for fatigue syndromes of any degree. Fatigue is not a symptom of normal aging and adjusting to it by doing less is not the answer. Life is too precious, especially as you grow older, to accept slowing down as a natural phenomena.

Seniors need vacations too. Contrary to popular opinion, retirement is not one long vacation. It won’t be long before you find that you need a break from the everyday busyness of retirement. What better way to do this than to take a vacation.

Maggie Reed (Washington Jewish Week: Gaithersburg: February 19, 2009) writes that cruising is a care-free and fun filled way for seniors to travel. What could be more ideal than a vacation where food, entertainment and medical help are always available?

There is a lot more to cruising than shuffleboard and 24 hour buffets. The author enthused that whatever your needs may be, they will be met on a cruise. Staterooms are available to accommodate wheelchair and other handicap needs, and staff members are dedicated to ensuring that you have a good time. Cruise ships are known for catering to older travelers and it is perfect that everything is in one place. You can enjoy arts and crafts, games, trivia contests, karaoke, casinos, spas and bingo without actually going anywhere. There is nonstop entertainment somewhere on the ship at all hours of the day or nights.

A cruise is the best way to get away from your normal environment while still enjoying all of the comforts of home, and more. The author leans toward practicality and gives some sage advice.

Book early and look for special deals or special interest groups.

Do your homework and learn something about the culture and history of the places that you will visit.

Do not forget your passport, and she recommends taking some emergency information with you in case you lose it (a photocopy of the data page, phone numbers of U.S. Embassies and Consulates and a couple of passport sized photographs).

Leave a detailed itinerary with family and friends.

Don’t over pack.

Don’t forget medications (pack plenty and keep them in the original containers rather than a pill box), it wouldn’t hurt to take a copy of your prescriptions and an extra pair of glasses with you.

Health insurance information.

Money, mostly in traveler’s checks.

Don’t overbook yourself. You are on vacation to relax and have a good time.

Bernice Bratter in her book “Project Renewment,’ wrote about women being more socially orientated then men. Women in general have more of a group mentality, so it isn’t surprising to learn that they are more apt to think about their futures in terms of where they will want to live.

There is a good chance that married or not, we will end up alone. The author thought that pooling resources and buying one big one story house, hiring a concierge to manage services, hiring a chauffeur to drive, and a cook to provide meal service would be the way to go. The important thing would be the companionship and support of friends living together. This means that you could surround yourself with friends rather than moving into a place with a lot of strangers. You may not think this, but people in retirement communities and in care facilities as well, can be quite “cliquey,” and they are not always as welcoming as they should be.

This would be more along the idea of communal living or a house share. Most of us resist the idea of being rounded-up and herded into senior housing projects. The idea of being told by managers half your age what you must or must not do is quite unacceptable. The other alternative to traditional nursing care is the “aging in place” model. I rather like the idea of making my own arrangements. What do you think?

The desire for women to live together is not a surprise. It is a female thing and we have been living with others for most of our lives. It also reflects the prevalent desire for alternatives to assisted living or retirement communities. It is more of an intentional community. This is not as far fetched as it might sound. The idea appeals to those who want to live with people they like, in an environment that reflect their individual personalities.

Today’s seniors are of a generation capable of creating new models for living. One day independent sororities may be a reality.

Questions designed by the author to help you decide what to do:

What kind of housing are you in now?

How will your current situation work for you as you age?

What kind of changes are you going to have to make (or be willing to make) to continue in your present situation?

How do you feel about communal living? How do feel about living with a friend or a relative?

What is your opinion on the ideal living situation for you, as you get older?

I knew I was going to like the book “Shedding Years” by Phyllis Greene as soon as I read the title page. You would be surprised at how many people give the impression that they are just waiting around for an early demise instead of making the most of the years they have left. Being sad, sick, tired, weak or bored does not have to be a part of the plan.

Phyllis Green became a first time author at 82 and it was all uphill for her after that. She was so stimulated by the acceptance and support of her literary efforts that she felt younger than she had in years. The key is the words stimulated and excited. These are the words she used to describe her feelings from the moment she started researching and writing her book. She now feels that her life is going in reverse, at least as far as the aging process, and her iMac is her fountain of youth.

There isn’t anything mysterious about the book but it exudes a quality of excitement about age and aging. The feeling is that each year is the best year, and her pearls of wisdom are priceless. Actually it is the kind of book that any of you could write, even if it is in the form of a journal or diary and not meant for eyes other than your own. It is one woman’s take on everyday things and it is wonderfully funny and insightful at the same time.

She writes about everyday things like mastering her cell phone. I found this hugely entertaining because I too have struggled in the same way, and I nodded in agreement as she discussed her tale of woe. I laughed because identifying the ring tone, finding the phone and unlocking the face panel before the calls goes to voice mail is really quite a challenge.

She remembers the past, accepts the future and revels in the present. Her advice to anyone wanting to feel and stay young is to accept change, go with the flow and be cool. Opening yourself up to new experiences is easy if you are willing to change. She firmly believes in lightening up and being willing to try anything once. Do not refuse an invitation to lunch or dinner or a night away from home, even if it is past your bedtime or you don’t sleep well in a strange bed. Go out. Go along with your group; it will open up your world.

Her book shares and explores the challenges of the senior years with joyful insights into everyday living. She declares that it is possible to shed your years by immersing yourself in the glories of the world around you. She admits that she still looks the same and is sometimes a bit unsteady on her feet, but the exhilaration of sharing her stories with others has made her feel young and vital again. Tell your story and if you do want to get your story out there AARP magazine this month (March/April 2011) has an excerpt on self publishing by means of a vanity or e-book publisher. You will never know if you don’t write that first word.

Yes, genes matter. It gets easier and easier, as you get older, to blame your genes for all of your problems. If your grandfather was an alcoholic or heart disease runs in the family you may figure “why bother”. You would be surprised at how many people buy into the theory that they were born with a certain number of good years and then bam, that’s it! Are you going to buy your burial plot (not that this isn’t a good thing) and thumb your nose at Mother Nature, or are you going to take another look at what science has to offer you? This is one of those big decisions that you are going to have to make. Are you going to accept your genetic heritage or are you going to work with it?

Author, Dr. Michael Roizen, M.D. (You Staying Young) tells us that aging doesn’t work that way. Your genes are important but your genetic destiny is not carved in stone. Your genetic traits might make you more or less predisposed to health related insults but knowing this gives you a heads-up, and this knowledge might be what it takes to help you beat the odds.

Studies show that your longevity is based one-quarter on genetics and three-quarters on behavior and lifestyle choices. Those are pretty good odds. For the most part, you can learn to adapt and adjust in order to deal with whatever Mother Nature throws your way. That is just how the body works. Dr. Roizen reminds us that exercise isn’t just good for us because it burns fat, but because it can alter your genetic codes and serve to decrease the risks of getting certain chronic diseases. This means that you do still have some control over how your life is going to play out.

So who wins: the person who bows to his genetic disposition and gives up, or the one who takes action? Controlling your genetics can help you avoid many of the age related diseases, and this ultimately gives you more time to enjoy the years that you have left. You are stuck with the genes you were given, but you can change the way that they function. The moral of the story is to take care of yourself and do everything that you can to preserve a healthy and independent lifestyle.

I read two newspaper articles this morning about a recent study, led by the National Cancer Institute, which focused on the dietary benefits of fiber. Most Americans aren’t getting enough fiber in their diets. The study says that eating more fiber might make you live longer. We now have something else to think about and more grams and milligrams to track. Who knew that eating would become such an exact science?

Fiber found in whole grains, beans, nuts, vegetables and fruit pave the way for a healthy digestive system, as well as lowering blood cholesterol levels and improving blood glucose levels. A diet rich in fiber is thought to provide significant health benefits. Dietary guidelines suggest that you consume14 grams of fiber per 1,000 calories that you ingest a day, which means 25 grams for an average sized woman and 38 grams for a man. The study found that the most significant benefits were derived from fiber found in whole grains and beans.

As you get older you need to pay a little more attention to what foods enter your body and what happens along the way. Peristalsis slows down and digestive fluids decrease so things aren’t as efficient as they were in the old days. This is where the fiber comes in. Dr. Michael F. Roizen, M.D. in his book “You Staying Young,” has some tips to help you be kind to your stomach. Deciding what you put in your mouth, he says, influences how well or how quickly your digestive system ages.

Add bulk. We’re not talking about dietary supplements commonly seen in the bathroom cabinet of older folks. The duo of fiber and water, the natural way, is most influential. Together they keep food soft and bulky so that it moves easily through your system. If you take a fiber supplement the instructions always say to drink a lot of water with it, and I know from working with seniors that drinking a whole glass of water is sheer torture for most of them. Remember, without water, fiber gets hard. The good thing is that fiber has no calories but can make you feel full (hopefully keeping you from eating other things that are more apt to lead to obesity, heart disease and diabetes).

Shower your insides. Dr. Roizen uses that particular phrase to remind you to drink water. Despite popular opinion about the classic 8 glasses of water a day, he says there is no particular magic to that number. The right amount of water for you can vary according to your activity level and size. Drink enough water so that your urine is clear. Water helps the digestive process. It lubricates everything so that it slides down easily, fills you up, fights bad breath, and keeps your mouth moist. Your mechanism for detecting thirst doesn’t work as well when you get older so it is important to remind yourself to drink regularly throughout the day.

Fiber is the in the news these days and this makes it easier to select foods that are good for you. Energy bars, cereals, and enriched breads all fall into that all important grain group. If you buy bread with 5-6 grams of fiber in each slice you are half way through your daily requirement before lunch. If you have thought of other ways to sneak fiber into your diet I am hoping that you will share.