A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St.Peter asked."Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered."On a trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota, Icame upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman.I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.

So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off, or I'll make you all wish you'd never been born!"

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?""Couple of minutes ago."

Note: Just don't go getting the idea that we earn our way to heaven...