I said that at age 28 for the first time. One thing is for sure, no matter how terrible I felt, I didn’t have time for a crisis. I was a single mom of a 9 year old, working full-time and putting myself through college.

Busy, but terribly lonely. And, that loneliness led to mindless eating and too much time in my own head where I regularly beat myself up for not doing or being enough.

I guess you could say that my hobbies consisted of eating and serial dating. After becoming a young, single mom, I committed to providing my son with security and I found that through my work. All of the things I had dreamed about doing or being when I grew up got shoved way down deep inside. I stopped pursuing my desire to find out who I was.

My identity became my career. My health took a backseat to it. My presence as a parent took a back seat to it. And as successful as I became, I constantly questioned my own competence.

I had deep rooted issues resulting in bad habits in nearly every area of my life. Besides being a work-a-holic to prove that I was competent in my career, my eating habits were out-of-freaking-control despite trying to convince myself I was on a diet, I was addicted to sugary coffee drinks in a bad way, I never exercised, my finances were sloppy, I denied the universe having my back (in fact I revolted against the thought of a higher-power for decades), and I said “no” to everything coming into my life (besides food, dates and work!). And, I kept telling myself I would be worthy after I accomplished the next thing on my list.

I was depressed, I was overwhelmed, I was stressed. And I had gained a lot of weight that made me feel terrible.

I was diagnosed as pre-diabetic and I didn't take action.

In fact, my midlife crisis was basically me fighting the conflicting voices in my own head. Voices about my past, who I thought I was, all of the mistakes I ever made, what I thought I could or couldn't accomplish, all of my problems, disappointment in myself... it seemed like I hated everything. I wanted to crawl out of my own skin. And, I hit three peaks of major medical crisis, each time getting stronger with intensity. The universe was telling me to wake up or die. I was slowly killing myself: body, mind and spirit.

I knew I had to transform my life. I had to learn how to respect myself. I had to learn to be comfortable with me. I had to get to know myself. I had to define what I really wanted. I had to get over the past and out of my story. I had to learn to love myself first, before anyone else could love me.

This is a before picture of me on a day where I remember feeling the lowest of lows. Ironically, I was posing with an award for a "Top Workplace Wellness Program" I had designed and implemented at the company I worked for. I knew something had to give. I knew I was pre-diabetic with a food addiction that needed to change. I was so out of integrity I didn't know where to start. After I figured it out, that's when I decided to start coaching others through the same.