Friday, July 21st, 2017

A good week is any week when I don’t feel compelled to write a new edition of “This Week in Trump”. Obviously, this was not a good week.

July 13th: Following discussions of the “transparency” Donald Trump Jr. offered by releasing his emails regarding his now infamous meeting with a Russian national, President Trump’s brain appeared to get stuck on the word. As a result, he stated that his boondoggle border wall should be transparent. Why? So that no one takes a lethal 60 pound bag of drugs upside their head, of course.

As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them—they hit you in the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over,” Trump said. “As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall.”

Let’s move straight past our incredulity, and just go with this. Let’s enter the befuddled brain of the president, and accept the absurd premise that drug dealers are just blindly lobbing massive sacks of drugs into America. Even if we believe that, who exactly does Trump think is walking near the wall on the American side? The average citizen is not going out for a constitutional along the border. Logically, the folks involved would be other criminals, and if these drug-catchers get brained by a big bag of dope, why should we care? GAH! (Link)

July 13th: While in France, Trump told the French first lady that she’s “in such good shape”, before noting to President Macron “she’s in such good physical shape. Beautiful.” Make no mistake about it, this is not how any civilized person behaves, and it is not a compliment. This is objectifying a woman, and it is disgusting. (Link)

July 14th: As a result of his repulsive comments in France, Donald Trump was the target of a perfect sub-tweet by Reebok, who provide a useful guide for when you should say “you’re in such good shape…beautiful”. Here’s a hint: Almost never! (Link)

July 16th: The transcript of a conversation between British Prime Minister Theresa May and Trump revealed that his tragically frail ego won’t allow him to visit the UK until he can be assured of “a better reception”. (Link)

July 19th: As part of a wide-ranging and very strange interview with the New York Times, Donald Trump appeared to show a complete and utter lack of comprehension as to what health insurance is, and how it works. In fact, he seemed to conflate it with life insurance, which is actually tremendously disturbing given his focus on repealing the Affordable Care Act. Honestly, this is upsetting in a much deeper way than the usual embarrassing news this feature covers, and I’m done for the week. (Link)