Mr Abbott, the Federal Opposition Leader for the months of December and January, is understood to have acted as

a consultant in the design process, and “to have had full veto power in the realization of my dream”.

Mr Abbott maintains that he received a divine vision in which

an angel described to him the 9 signs of damnation. After a

series of meetings with a celebrity agent, Mr Abbott entered

into a contract with Dreamworld. Details of the contract

have not been disclosed publicly.

It is believed that the 9 signs of damnation that the angel

gave to Mr Abbott are:

Trade unionism, Republicanism, Ungrateful poor who don’t know their place, Gender equality, Restrictions on the divine right of the free market, Homosexuals, Flares coming back into fashion, Charity, And the decline of respect for law and order.