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Friday, October 31, 2014

I know that for many cross dressers, Halloween is their favorite day of the year. It is the day when they can get out and about dressed however they want and no one is going to say anything besides "Great Costume!"

Well, sorry, that is not for me. Maybe it is because I am not in the closet. Maybe it is because I do it too well. Maybe it is because awhile back I decided that it is disrespectful to myself.

Why you ask? Well, I kind of have the thought that I am not a costume. See, when I dress as a girl, it is just another side to who I am. It is a part of me. It is me. Not entirely me, just sort of an aspect of me. I see myself as existing somewhere in the middle of the gender spectrum. Somewhere between male and female. Or somewhere with both male and female aspects. Hmm.... ???? Am I even making any sense at all? I dunno!

All I know is that if I were to dress as a girl for Halloween it would be to fully come out to everyone I know, work included. See, the picture above, is me at work. It is really the only place that I dress up for Halloween. Thus, if I were to go as a girl, and do it like I do it, as me, not as a joke version of me, I think everyone would know that I do it more than just for Halloween.

And, I just don't think that I am interested in being fully out at work. "Fully out at work?" You ask? Yeah, I am out at work with all of my various gender non-conforming behaviors, but just not with my cross dressing behavior.

Okay, well whatever! I hope that everyone has a great day, regardless of if you choose to dress as a girl, or a werewolf, or a robot, or a box of Cheerios, or whatever!

Monday, October 27, 2014

Jules and I decided to go and get our nails done and it was finally a sort of cooler weather day! OMG, California is actually cooling off a bit. Still no rain for the central area where I am, but a day predicted to be in the low 70s? Wow, now that is cooling off? Ridiculous huh?

Anyway, I decided to finally wear this skirt! I had purchased this skirt some time ago, I want to say maybe back in March or April. It has been hanging in my closet ever since, waiting for a cooler day. It is a rather thick fabric, and not a good skirt for a warm day. So it waited. And finally it came out to play! Which btw, is some good advice for you for getting a good deal on clothes. Buy them in the off season and wait for the right time to wear them. I think this skirt was only about $20! Which is a steal for such a great item.

Why is it so great? Well, I like the length. It is rather long as a skirt for me, but with the longer length I can pull it up higher on my torso, giving me the illusion of a higher waist. Also, with the thicker black band at the waist, it helps to emphasize my smaller waist. And there is one more thing that gives it a good skinny look? Any ideas????? It is the color blocking. Having the white on the sides and the black down the middle makes it give me the illusion of being even skinnier than I really am.

One thing with this outfit that I was unsure of was the cropped sweater. I thought maybe a longer sweater would look better. But Jules correctly pointed out that with it being shorter, it also helps to emphasize my skinny little waist! She was so right, so I stuck with it.

Life update-
- Jules has been doing very well lately with her depression. Looking through her old family photos and trying to sort out where her feelings originated is really helping! Which is great!
- I have been super busy, as per usual! Have you noticed the blog has really only been updated once per week? Yeah, a full life!
- My dad has gone into the hospital and possibly will be going to a full time care facility. I'm trying to decide what my move, if any, will be in regards to that.
- Duck hunting season has opened and another avenue is gobbling up my time!

Okay lovelies out there! Gotta run. Gotta go work, work, work! And the funny thing is all I can ever seem to do is to cross one thing off my list and add five more. You know, maybe I need to be less motivated! It is always, go, go, go, go, go!!! I suppose I can rest when I am ______?????

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

My good friend, Vivian mentioned to me one time that I had to try a pair of 7 For All Mankind jeans as she thought they would be perfect for me. Vivian has a very nice shape to herself and informed me that she couldn't fit it the 7 For All Mankind jeans, and that is what made her think they would be perfect for hip challenged girls like me.

So for my birthday shopping trip, jeans were on my list and I knew that I had to try out those jeans. Jules was with me that day but she went to another shop and thus I ventured into the 7 For All Mankind store by myself.

There were two younger ladies working the counter, and no one else in the store on that early Sunday morning. They greeted me and I said hello and began browsing the racks. They asked if they could assist me. I told them I was just curious. They inquired what exactly I was looking for. I informed them, that I had no idea and that I was referred to them by a friend, and that I had never been into their store before and had no idea what I was looking for or what size I was or anything!

That is when they went into action! One of them peered at me and guessed my size. She gave me two pairs of the same jeans and told me to go try them on so we could figure out my size. I ended up being a 27. Skinny minny me, huh? I showed them, and one of them said, I knew you were a 27. They told me to wait there and they went and grabbed about 8 different pairs of jeans for me to try on.

They were all super skinny! Not according to the tags. Some were labeled as flared or straight leg, or skinny, but wow, I knew what Vivian was talking about. Anybody with a decent sized booty was not going to be fitting into these jeans! But lucky for me, with my mini butt, they actually showed off what I had.

Of course, after all of the super star treatment, and lots of fitting advice and opinions from the ladies as I was trying on and showing off the different pairs of jeans, I settled on the pair that I thought looked the best.

That was when I finally looked at the price tag and saw that they were marked down from $199 to $150! Holy crap! I have never paid such an exorbitant amount for a pair of jeans! But I looked at my butt again and had to by them! Ridiculous I know!

So... anywho... I wore the above outfit while shopping. Jules and I stopped at a Macy's to get some more Clinique. The sales associate complemented me on my nails:

Then we went to a Best Buy where a sales associate complemented me on my sweater and said that he loved the purple with the black:

Nobody complemented me on my awesome jeans, but hey I felt like a million bucks!

So thanks Vivian! You are the best! I love having such a great friend that can point me in such wonderful directions!

Monday, October 13, 2014

Each summer one of Jules' friends comes and visits for a day or two. This is someone who Jules used to work with about 15-20 years ago. We have both worked with many people over the years in our careers but only a couple have made the switch from work associate to actual friend. Well L is one of the two.

Which is rather odd as she is do unlike either Jules or I. Well now that I say that, it occurs to me that she is actually quite like me. She is actually very gender non-conforming. She is pretty much the most un-girly girl that I know. How un-girly? She has played tackle football. That is pretty un-girly. Well, okay, maybe it is just me and my limited exposure to the world, but I have not ever encountered any other girls that have played league tackle football. Obviously there has to be some, it was part of a league!

Well, that is all besides the point. Hm.... maybe kinda, maybe it is also kind of the point. That is what made this tale kind of the oddest so far. Being that she is rather gender non-conforming herself, she was kind of unsure as to what to say when I told her about myself. More along the lines of, "yeah, so whatever, why are you even saying anything?" Because for her, we as humans are all allowed to be whatever we want to, no explanation needed.

Okay, maybe I should just get to the story, huh?

We were hanging out by the pool, L, her latest guy E, Jules and I. I decided to tell her and so I did. I told them both that I consider myself to be transgender, gender non-conforming, and an occasional cross dresser. I had wanted to tell them before we went swimming, as I was planning on going in my new bikini bottoms and I didn't want to freak them out or anything by just doing it.

See, I really hate men's swim suits. Those overly large baggy shorts, with weird net underwear, and as they are not big enough already, they also need huge pockets in them to carry all sorts of items in them while you go swimming. Absurd, if you ask me! I actually just prefer to go naked, but when we have guests over, that really is just a no go. Well, unless it is Vivian and Edward. Off topic again!!

So I told them, and L, really did not seem to get it. She thought I was just talking about things like some clothes and some nail painting. She has known about that for awhile. But then I pulled out my iPad and showed her my blog, most notably this picture:

At which point she said, "damn, you are a hotty." And "your boobs are bigger than mine." I think then that she kind of got the point of the conversation. Her boyfriend just sort of sat and listened and nodded. He also thought I looked pretty good in my photos.

Shortly thereafter we all got changed into our swim suits. That was when I had to take a deep breath, and do what I wanted, wear my bikini. So I did it. And what was the big response? Jealousy. L was told me that she was upset with me as I looked far better in a bikini than she did. I thanked her, but told her that I thought she was wrong. She was adamant that she was not. She told me I definitely had the body for a bikini and should never feel weird for wearing it, as I looked great in it.

We hung out and swam and talked and had a great time together. The next day they left. But before going they both gave me a big hug and thanked me for being so open and honest with them and how much they appreciated it.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

I wore this outfit for my birthday dinner, which was actually last Saturday. BTW - Thank you for the birthday well wishes, you are all so sweet! Jules and I had planned on going to Fenton's Ice Cream Parlor in Oakland, Ca but upon arriving there and seeing the two lines stretching both ways up and down the block we turned around and went back to a Cattlemen's near our hotel. Oh well, I suppose that steak for dinner was better than ice cream huh?

Earlier int he day we had gone shopping and I picked up three of the things in the above outfit. The sweater is new, which I think is very nice, I love the length of it. Check out how it looks from behind:

I love the pop of color from the back due to the shorter back length of the sweater. Too cute! I also picked up the tank top. I fell in love with the color, which is Jules' favorite, btw.

The ribbing running up the tank makes it look rather like a corset, which I think is sexy cute. The other thing I got that day was my new purse.

I have been contemplating getting another Coach purse, considering how much I love my other ones. Yes, now I have four of them. Two I purchased and two were gifts from my dear friend, Vivian. Anyways, I really like the versatility of this purse due to the long shoulder strap. It is such a perfect shopping purse. I can wear the strap across my body and not have to hold onto the purse. Which I love! It makes it so convenient. The long strap also is removable and you can just use the small handle straps if you would like. It happened to be exactly what I was looking for! Who knew?

Sunday, October 5, 2014

This outfit was worn today for a little clothes shopping. It was my birthday on Saturday, and Jules took me to my favorite outlet mall. We did most of our shopping yesterday but I left jeans for today. So I wore something appropriate specifically for jeans. I like the wedges for a bit of a heel and the tank hangs a little lower in the front for a bit of extra coverage.

I knew that I wanted a male and a female pair of jeans. And one might think that this particular story would be about acquiring my awesome new pair of female jeans from 7 For All Mankind, for the most expensive price I have ever paid for a pair of jeans, $150!!! I can't even believe that. But no, that particular story will be told another day.

Today, I am telling the story of purchasing my male jeans. I went into Guess and found several pairs of male jeans to try on. Normally they have someone with a key to let you into a fitting room, but no one was around and a room was open. I walked in and started trying on my pants.

When I started buying female clothes, I normally would be dressed as a male. Eventually I started dressing as a female. But only occasionally have I tried on male clothes while dressed as a female, and then further more walked out of the dressing room and showed Jules what I had on.

On this day, I didn't really think about it much, as I tried on the male jeans, and walked out and showed Jules. She thought they were okay, and I went back in to try the next pair. As I was closing the door, the sales associate stopped me and removed the other clothes from the room. I put on another pair and walked back outside and again showed Jules. This time the sales associate was also outside the room and she too looked at the jeans I had on.

Jules said she liked them, but the sales associate was aghast. I could see the look on her face, but she only, very politely came up and said "Don't you think those jeans are too baggy for you?"

I replied "Well, I like to wear both male and female jeans." She didn't really seem to get it, and gave me a very quizzical look. I continued "I totally agree that these jeans are not appropriate for when I choose to dress as a woman, but I think they will look great when I choose to dress as a man."

That was when the light bulb went on for her and she said, "Oh well goodness, you are so beautiful!" She went on, "Seriously dear, you are just so beautiful." I thanked her, "Well you deserve it, you are just beautiful, I love everything, your clothes, your look, your hair, and I agree, those jeans would be great for you while dressed as a guy."

I went into the room again and changed back to my regular clothes. I heard her outside the room still commenting about me. I took my stuff up to the register where she rang me up for the purchases. I handed her my license and charge card. She looked at my picture and said "I hope you don't mind me saying so, but I like you more with your long hair. I don't want to give you a big head, but you are just beautiful. Please keep doing what you are doing, because you are just great!"

Do you think I left that store beaming? Uhh... just a little! More like I was on cloud nine!

The more I thought about it today the happier I became.

What a wonderful world we live in folks.

I sure do hope you get to experience the same one I do.

It takes strength. And honesty. And a willingness to try and trust the strangers around us.