What once ensured that I sat at a table next to the teacher is now posted, Monday through Friday.

I've contributed to perhaps the best humor compilation I've ever read. Available now on Amazon!

My second chapbook, "The Second Book of Pearl: The Cats" is now available as either a paper chapbook or as a downloadable item. See below for the Pay Pal link or click on its cover just to the right of the newest blog post to download to your Kindle, iPad, or Nook. Just $3.99 for inspired tales of gin, gambling addiction and inter-feline betrayal.

My first chapbook, I Was Raised to be A Lert is in its third printing and is available both via the PayPal link below and on smashwords! Order one? Download one? It's all for you, baby!

Monday, March 24, 2014

A Roomful of Gambling Cats

Dolly Gee Squeakers, formerly of the Humane Society
Squeakers, sits on the couch, surrounded by cheering basketball fans/members of
her scrapbooking club.

“Wolverineth,” she announces.“All the way, baby!”

The TV on, the volume up, words like “pick and pop”, “fade-away
jumper”, and “they’re taking it to the paint”, are volleyed about,
enthusiastically and, perhaps, even knowledgeably.

I briefly reflect on the amount of cat hair on the new
couch, make a mental note to stop somewhere later, pick up an extra roll of
tape.

Not that the fuzzy little felines lined up on the sofa are
concerned about anything but the brackets laid out in front of them.Utterly consumed with the NCAA Men’s
Basketball Tournament, their noses pointed toward the TV screen, the cats in the
living room cannot be bothered with the niceties of keeping their winter coats
to themselves.

I will have to talk to Dolly about cat-hair/new-couch
etiquette .One does not simply shed, willy-nilly.

Best I stay in my room.

“I can’t believe you aren’t out there, supervising.”I look up from my book, a John Steinbeck
novel, as Liza Bean Bitey, of the Minneapolis Biteys, leaps onto the bed.I roll over, set my book down, stare flatly
at her.

“What?” she says, a small smile playing upon her tiny
black lips.

“The last party you
threw,” I point out, “I ended up locked out on the porch.”

Chili sauce and grape jelly strikes you as weird but not talking cats fixated on betting on mens basketball and how the deuce did Liza Bean manage to bring you a PLATE??????? I want to live in your world Pearl....I REALLY want a talking cat.