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“I was waving goodbye to my father who was going off to a job, and he smashed the door on my thumb. I lost a nail and cried as I was only three.”

Who is your all-time hero?

“Neil Young. A man that buys a herd of buffalo with his money is worth loving.”

What’s the worst trouble you’ve been in?

“Once I was interrogated by the police, suspected of having smashed in a lot of windows with a bat. I was innocent; I was only 13. Somebody just mentioned my name because I happened to be in the area. Somebody just wanted to get me.”

Who was the first love of your life?

“My best friend’s older brother. I used to ring on the door and ask for him instead of her. He was four years older, but I was only four myself!”

Upon whom would you most like to exact revenge? How?

“My father forced me to tennis train when I was seven, and I had a coach, a really horrible young man. I was realIy cross-eyed so I didn’t hit the ball. He said to my parents that they’d have to take me out of the class because I was terrible and very ugly. I’d put a couple of tennis balls, a racket, a net and a couple of tennis judges up his arse.”

What’s your greatest talent?

“Running. I was awful in gym at school, but I always won the annual running competition.”