Posts Tagged ‘Atheist’

While looking for an uncontroversial topic to blog about I heard people debating whether NYC should allow a mosque at 51 Park Place in Downtown Manhattan.

Everyone agrees that the current U.S. Constitution allows for mosques in Downtown Manhattan.

Everyone agrees that while 51 Park Place is nearby, it’ll still be two blocks away. It’s not like it’s being erected on the World Trade Center site or even next door. This map demonstrates the physical closeness and remoteness of the WTC site and the mosque.

Map of mosque site and WTC site

There were only three arguments in opposition to building the mosque. The first was legal. The current building at the site of the future mosque was a possible landmark. Since I don’t agree with giving any location landmark status, I was glad that the committee voted against giving it a landmark status. While there is still an appeal underway to that decision, I don’t understand the basis of the appeal.

The second was security. If the mosque donations are coming from terrorist groups, then that could somehow make things unsafe for New York.
The way I see it, we should encourage terrorists to give donations to American causes. The less money terrorists have, the less likely they’ll be able to fund their terrorism.
The real issue isn’t money coming from terrorist organizations, but money going to terrorist organizations.

The third was emotional. Since the World Trade Center was destroyed by Muslims and about 3,000 people died in the World Trade Center by Muslims, it wouldn’t be respectful (or “sensitive”) to build an edifice so close to the site of destruction that will encourage people to join and maintain the Muslim faith.

My perspective is the dead don’t care about what is built there. The dead don’t have feelings and they don’t have knowledge of events. So, whether we decide to green-light the project or not, the sensitivity argument is non-starter for me.
And, I don’t even care of the timing of it. In Tuesday’s Daily News paper, Richard Huff quotes John Houseman, WPIX/Ch. 11’s assistant news director, in regards to covering the ceremony at the World Trade Center site, “This will continue through the 10th anniversary,” Houseman says. “I don’t know what happens in year 11.”
From my perspective the dead are gone the moment they die. If they wanted to build a mosque on the World Trade Center site on September 12, 2001, from a “sensitivity to the dead” point of view, I wouldn’t have a problem with it.

However, there are three other possible issues. Two of them are specific to the location and one is about mosques in general.
The first is sensitivity to the living. While the deceased don’t care where a mosque is built, some of their loved ones and some of those who survived the attack do care. While this a legitimate concern, it’s unmanageable. How far away from the World Trade Center site is far enough? What if there’s one survivor who doesn’t want another mosque built anywhere in Manhattan because the thought of it is too painful, the pain would still be true.
As a result, I don’t think we should indulge them. They will just have to be in pain. With time, they’ll die or move on to the next issue and the pain will subside.
The second is historical. People, like Michael Savage, who study history point out that Muslims have a history of building a mosque near the location of a victory over their enemies.
However, in this case, was their really a victory for them to celebrate? Sure, they knocked down some buildings and they killed thousands of innocent people, but it directly lead to the death of thousands of Muslims (in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq*), many of them of the same group as the terrorists on the planes.
It also has the same restriction that the former argument had. If this is so close that it’s seen as a “victory” mosque, what distance would be needed to remove it from that status?

The third argument is that mosques, in general, should be forbidden because they encourage people in their devotion to Allah. Since Allah calls for the death of non-believers, a mosque could encourage terrorists and terrorism.
(Whether Allah really calls for the death of infidels or not is irrelevant, so long as Muslims kill in Allah’s name.
When Christians kill in the name of Christ, it is appropriate to say that Christ calls for murder.
And, if you believe the Bible’s version of history, when Jews killed in the name of Hashem, it was appropriate to say that Hashem called for murder.
The same is true for any other religion or group.
Since they are all fictional characters, what “they” say is less important than what people say they “say”.)

I think there is merit to this argument. However, it’s unconstitutional. If we amended the U.S. Constitution to forbid all religions from erecting houses of worship, we would resolve this problem. Sadly, many other issues would surface.

Therefore, as it currently stands, I cannot protest the mosque’s construction. I hope that it fails because of logistical reasons (lack of funding, mistakes in the blueprints, etc.), but since that’s unlikely, I’m sure a year after the mosque is built the hullabaloo will blow over. Tourists will flock to see the mosque that they wrote letters to the editor to protest and support and New York will benefit.

* I know the argument that Iraq was unrelated to September 11, 2001. However, the USA was bloodthirsty after the blow it received that day and was much more enthusiastic about taking out Saddam Hussein than they otherwise would have been.

Until I was three, my hair was not cut. Shortly after my third birthday my grandmother came over and gave me a haircut. From age three until after I was thirty years old, a relative cut my hair at a minimum of once every 55 days. Occasionally, I’d request a haircut, but, more often or not I’d be against a haircut.
I didn’t have a choice. I had no control over how often they cut my hair or how much of my hair they cut.
My parents, my yeshiva, and, later, my wife wanted my hair cut. Any attempts to refuse a haircut were for naught.
If I specified one area not be cut or not be cut “so low”, my specifications were promptly ignored.
Now, does that make my grandparents, parents, siblings, and wife bad people? Not necessarily. You see, they weren’t cutting my hair against my will to torture me. They were cutting my hair because their god demanded it.
Their teachers taught them, that the horrible god of the Jews required men’s hair be short.

“god” requires short hair for men because:

Long hair is considered “women’s garb”. Men are forbidden to wear women’s garb according to the Bible.

Long hair can get in the way of donning tefillin. (While this is patently untrue, it is the main reason Rabbis advocate short hair for men.)

Simultaneous to being forced to have short “manly” hair, I was prevented from shaving, trimming, or cutting my beard. Once again god was keenly interested in making me appear in “his” image.

I thought the beard made me look disgusting. (When I look back at my old pictures, I often feel revulsion and anger.) I thought it was good for me to appear disgusting, as it would help me in my devotion to god.

When I used a scissor to cut my beard for the first time (at age thirty!) in the Summer of 2008, my father-in-law spent at least ten minutes in every subsequent face-to-face meeting making fun of my beard.

From the June 2008 until November 2008, I slowly lowered the beard. People at work noticed. They asked, “What is different about Alar Bean?”, and they answered, “I don’t know, I think he’s smiling more.”

As I lowered the beard, I felt better and better.

In November 2008, after my sister begged to be allowed to cut my hair for two days straight, I got my last haircut. After that haircut, I decided I’d had enough of the degradation of no choice and of being forced to look the way someone else’s god wanted me to look.

Since November 2008 I have not gotten a haircut. In March 2009, a couple of times, I used a scissor to even out my bangs.

I think the real reason “god” requires men to cut their hair short and grow their beards long is the same reason “god” requires women to wear a hair covering once they marry. “god” wants to control people’s minds by controlling their bodies. If you can force people to appear a certain way, especially if it’s making them look ugly, you have control over them. If you can make someone feel ugly, you will mess with their self-confidence. You then control who they speak with, what they do for recreation, where they go, etc.

Recently, an internet friend suggested I get my hair evened out at a barber or a salon. I am definitely not interested in getting my hair shortened. Not yet. I could be open to a styling or getting my hair evened out. However, I would need it to be done by a professional. (Though, I’ve never before had a professional cut my hair.) There’s no way I could trust a religious Jewish person to cut my hair. god might tell them to give me a crew cut!

Below is a picture of the back of my head. What do you think I should do?

Before I even start this post, let me state upfront that there’s no way for me to write everything that needs to be said in one post. So, don’t be surprised if I need to add things in the future.

My second disclaimer is if you are currently an Orthodox Jew, please don’t read this post. Thank you.

Since I “came out” to my family and some friends about my lack of religion and realization that God does not exist, a common conversation Orthodox Jews try to start is “how I know god does not exist”.

They aren’t asking because they are trying to understand my point of view. In fact, they don’t “believe” I have any proofs or reasons. They are only initiating the topic because they want to “zing” me on a logical point and “convince” to return to the fold. I have no desire to return to hell that Orthodox Jewish life is. I have no desire to believe in a bloodthirsty, barbaric, hateful, or fictitious god. I am hesitant to get into a conversation with these people because

I have experience, I know they’ll seize onto some logical argument and try to make me feel uncomfortable. I know I’m not only governed by logic, stubbornness is strong with me. Even if one could prove to me that god existed (which I know they cannot), I would still prefer to not believe in god.

I am not in the business of trying to convince people not to be religious or to disbelieve in god. For me to express my arguments fully, I might shake someone’s faith in god.

One “argument” I hear often from religious folk is, “How can you live without believing in god?”. When I ask for clarification they inevitably say something like, “If I didn’t believe in god, my life would lack purpose.”

When I point out that believing in god isn’t what gives their life purpose, it’s believing in god and god actually existing. According to them, if god doesn’t exist, did their lives really have meaning?

Another question they often ask is, how do you know what to do if you don’t believe in the Torah and its commandments. They ask as if people haven’t worked out moral codes without religion. When I was in Yeshiva we were constantly exhorted to develop our own internal compass. (There are moral questions that face us today that you cannot answer by looking in a sefer or responsa. The only way to answer them is to be “moral” and then “weigh” the issue internally.)

It’s hard to define who I am. It might be easier to define who I’m not.
I’m not a writer.
I’m not good at spelling.
I’m not religious.
I’m not a believer in god. Any god. Not even YOUR god. Sorry!
I’m not sexy.
I’m not smart.
I’m not funny.
I’m not a good singer.
I’m not cool, calm, or collected.
I’m not going to have anything interesting to say.

Okay, so now that everyone is gone, I’ll give you the basic rundown on who I was.
I was born into an Ultra Orthodox Jewish family. When I was born I was the fourth child born to two parents. By the time my parents completed their career as birthers, an additional eleven siblings joined the clan.

I started attending Yeshiva (Religious Jewish School) when I was three and a half). I went to Yeshiva without a break until I was twenty-four and married.

In September 2009 my wife and I separated.
In March 2010 we got our religious divorce.
She remains religious.

This is what I do:
I work as a computer programmer. In July 2008 or so I was tasked with overseeing the work and times of some my colleagues.
I “sing” karaoke as often as I can. Currently I tend to go to The Old Carriage Inn for Thursday and Saturday night karaoke.
I try to go to one movie a week. ( Clearview in Chelsea and Clearview on 62nd Street are my favorite places to watch movies. If you want to join me on a Tuesday evening, send a tweet to @alarBean .)