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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

"Thank you all so much for joining me on this joyful occasion, as we celebrate the impending birth of my first child. It gives me such pleasure to see your smiling faces on this wondrous, happy day. Indeed, I am all amazement!

"I understand that you all mistook the "BYOC" on your invitations to mean 'Bring Your Own Cake.' [giggle] No matter, though! If we have no chairs, then we'll simply stand!

"Elizabeth, darling! What kindness have you done me, in preparing such a large platter?

"AAAEEEII!! [faints]

[coming to] "Oh, do forgive that unpardonable display of emotion, Elizabeth. I was simply overcome with unimaginable...that is to say, I...it's just that...

"Oh, c'mon, Liz. Really? I mean, really?

"Ahem. Do excuse me, please. I believe the heat must be addling my senses.

"Now, Lord Harrington, I understand that you have also prepared a dessert! I am honored beyond words that you would bestow such a kindness...

[crickets chirping]

"Are you frickin' kidding me?!?

"What is WRONG with all of you? I invite you to my estate, I let you stand on my lawn, I have my servants cook for you, and THIS is how you repay me?!? You're all JERKS, you know that? Abominable, improper, insensitive, butt-faced JERKS. And you smell. Yes, I'm looking at you, Elizabeth.

"Catherine, do I even want to know what monstrosity you've brought to ruin my party?

"Oh... [blinking]

"It's actually quite nice.

[flourishing serving knife] "Cake, anyone?"

To my dearest acquaintances, Lora, Angela W., Anony M., Kelly R., and Crystal B.: I should imagine that this year's Proper Ladies Society will be the most popular yet!

Uh, yeah, as has been pointed out, Baby G has no arms. I have to wonder at the tackiness of some people--those cakes are all awful. (Psst--Steve the Pocket; think about it.)

I had to laugh at the thought of Jane Austen using "butt-faced jerks" to describe anyone. (Although, is it too nerdy and/or anal-retentive of me to point out that Jane Austen died single and childless?)

OMG that was hilarious! Love the Austen theme. The nipples one is funny but the censored one is disgusting!! (are those pink lasagna sheets for the pillow?) that is one hairy baby head coming out. ew ew EW!! *scrubs her eyes*

once I got past the horrific nipples on the "got milk", I was disturbed by the one arm that appears to be attached "Eeyore-style" to the body. I guess if Baby G needs to borrow an arm, he'll know who to ask.

So, I just recently found your blog, hilarious! And last night I had a cake wrecks dream! I dreamed that my husband paid this awful bakery for the worst rainbow cake ever. I was furious that he paid for such an ugly cake... well my birthday is tomorrow so lets hope there are no rainbow cakes on the menu. : )

Thanks for keeping me entertained while waiting at the doctors. The video helped me tune out an old grouch loudly complaining to the staff. I love Jane Austin and found the video and commentary hilarious. (and oh, my, were those cakes hideous!)

#3 Speaking of TMI: This poor 'lady' is a giant belly with various other things attached, which I'm sure is how it feels. It's probably just as well that the wreckerator didn't know how to make hands and feet, though the absence of same takes the overall creepiness level from 9 to 10-1/2.

#4 Managers, this is what happens when you decide to let a 16-year-old male 'cart retrieval specialist' fill in on the baker's day off. Another commenter noted the arm attachment on 'Mother Jugs', but check the baby (which in the mind of wreckerator Bevis is to scale). BTW, it has to be a tres leches cake. Just sayin'.

@Kira, I believe they were creating an unexpected contrast between the consistent decorum and mannerliness of the Jane Austen world and the complete lack of any sort of class, taste or indeed basic decency displayed in these cakes in order to provoke mirth. Indeed, it is the same humorous device employed in the attached moving picture show, of which I have long been a fan.

Pride and Prejudice is one of my favorite books and I have to say you have maligned Elizabeth terribly. I'm sure she would have brought a most tasteful cake. You were right on the nose with Lizzie though.

The heck with Baby G's missing arms; why does he have the neck and shoulders of a weight lifter?

I don't check Cake Wrecks every day, so I always get my updates in one long stream. My only comment on the long/short debate is a request to change the settings so that a set number of days rather than posts are on the front page, so I don't have to click "Older Posts" more times when the posts are shorter.

Great idea. I changed it so that there are two days showing. So right now there are four posts up. We try to limit the number of posts on a page because the load time on Blogger is reeeeealy slow but the most we'll ever have is four so not so bad.

The Baby G cake is so well done, I'm sure there are arms somewhere (possibly across the chest under the bling, gangsta style). If it was made from the Wilton teddy bear pan, at least they removed the ears.

The commentary was the best part of today's post. If I buy Jane Austen, it will sound like that, right?

Ok so it was just brought to my attention that it isn't necessarily a bad thing to be on cake wrecks. My mistake. Would've liked to know my picture was being shown here though. I guess I'll have to visit this site more often.Lenagc

I am beginning to think that anyone purchasing these cakes for a baby shower has lost their minds lol. They really either hate the mother to be or think she might have a great sense of humor about it but that ahem.. naked woman giving birth would give me nightmares no amount of therapy could cure. Oh man did your Jane Austen crack me up.

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