Give me whatever drink you've got. I'm not fussy. This is the world's most precious resource, we need to control as much of it as we can. I hope shortage issues depart. My advice - take a deep breath, you only got one shot, make it count.

Can a heathen come here too? Do you have the hot new Adult flick called The Lunge of Solace? Any carrot juice on hand? Gotta go now. Judo's gone and I intend to replace all his Bond flicks with copies of OHMSS.

Can a heathen come here too? Do you have the hot new Adult flick called The Lunge of Solace? Any carrot juice on hand? Gotta go now. Judo's gone and I intend to replace all his Bond flicks with copies of OHMSS.

Can a heathen come here too? Do you have the hot new Adult flick called The Lunge of Solace? Any carrot juice on hand? Gotta go now. Judo's gone and I intend to replace all his Bond flicks with copies of OHMSS.

You can help take the coats for now.

I'll start with the ones with the wallets inside. I know just where to take those!

Can a heathen come here too? Do you have the hot new Adult flick called The Lunge of Solace? Any carrot juice on hand? Gotta go now. Judo's gone and I intend to replace all his Bond flicks with copies of OHMSS.

You can help take the coats for now.

I'll start with the ones with the wallets inside. I know just where to take those!

You see already you are not getting the tone of our Lounge Of Solace. This is not that sort of establishment, young Dodge.

Somehow I get the impression that the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree in this instance...

No. In fact - down in the orchard by the apple grove is where they like it best. Though Elder Ms Flex's apples have lost their shine, if truth be told. Elder Ms Flex occasionally works in The Lounge. We have a charity film night now and then. She's our resident projectionist....when she hasn't been on the sauce. Bless. The death of Mr Flex Sr took its toll. Young Jenny was lording it up with an ageing character actor in France when it happened. Probably best.

There is no solace for me tonight. None. Went to go and see QoS, stocked up on sweeties and ice-cream. The audio on the English version was buggered - we saw the PTS and halfway through the titles and then it failed and refused to come back to life. So I ran into screen 6 for the Spanish dubbed version, but by the end of the Mr White section I was fed up with seeing their lips move at a different time to the words. I HATE dubbed films with a passion. So I ran out, nearly in tears with disappointment. It was like when you have a huge crush on someone for about 2 years, and then when he finally kisses you, he has a tongue like my dog. I explained this to the cinema staff and they just looked at me as if I were a bit mental. They reckon they'll have a good copy in a few days. There are no words.