What did the woman with everything want when she turned 34 on Thursday, July 24? "I don't want anything," Jennifer Lopez told KIIS-FM listeners from the Winnipeg set of her new movie Shall We Dance? on the big day. "I'm good." That didn't stop, or even slow, her guy, Ben Affleck. He had already sent flowers to her in Canada, where she spent her birthday swatting mosquitoes and sweating in a thick coat while filming a winter scene (at the height of summer).

Things ratcheted up when J.Lo jetted back to L.A. early Saturday morning for the next-day premiere of Gigli. Around noon on Saturday, she nuzzled with Affleck over eggs Benedict (his) and French toast (hers) at the seaside restaurant Geoffrey's in Malibu. Unbeknownst to her, at one of the couple's L.A. homes, 100 or so guests—including Lopez's mother, sister, cousins, aunts and grandmother, all of whom Affleck had flown in—were waiting to surprise her. When the guest of honor arrived around 3 p.m., she "shed a little tear," Lopez later said.

Tears soon gave way to dancing and chatter, much of it in Spanish. Affleck later tossed out phrases like "Bienvenido a mi casa" and "Hola, qué tal?" "I got the accent down," he told Kevin Smith, who directed Affleck and Lopez in Jersey Girl (due next year), "but my tenses are terrible." Never mind. Past, present or future, the message is the same. As one observer put it: "Boy, do he and Jen enjoy each other."

PRESENTS PERFECT
Affleck and Lopez enjoyed a $320,000 2004 Rolls-Royce Phantom that his rep said was rented for the weekend, though Affleck did buy her a $350,000 Bentley convertible last year. Another Affleck gift: a pricey-looking ring (left). Says his director pal Kevin Smith: "They seem like they've been married for 10 years."

LET EVERYONE EAT CAKE

DAVID SPADE
WHY: His 39th birthday, July 22
WHERE: Santa Monica's Buffalo Club on July 26
WHO: About 125 guests including Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson HIGHLIGHT: Kid Rock and Spade took the stage to sing "Sweet Home Alabama" together.

STEPHEN DORFF
WHY: His 30th, on July 29
WHERE: Taverna Tony in Malibu, featuring Greek food and live Greek music, on July 25
WHO: A Dorffapalooza of 250 guests including Jude Law, Luke Wilson, Courteney Cox Arquette, David Arquette and Sharon Stone HIGHLIGHT: The newly single Stone was the hit of the bash, says restaurant owner Tony Koursaris: "She looked very radiant and very accessible."

MICK JAGGER
WHY: His 60th, July 26
WHERE: The club Duplex, in Prague, the same night
WHO: His 89-year-old dad, Joe, five of his seven children, two grandkids and others including former Czech president Vaclav Havel
HIGHLIGHT: Sir Mick danced 'til dawn with his newest lady friend, 6'4" stylist L'Wren Scott, 39.

FLASHBACK
Take that, paparazzi! Faced with the attentions of photographers, many stars seek cover. A few (some playfully, some purposefully) are shooting back.

REALITY BITES

NBC's reality show The Restaurant gives viewers a behind-the-scenes look at Rocco's, a new high-end Manhattan eatery. So how's the food? We thought it only fitting that a reality-show restaurant be reviewed by a reality-show gourmand. Scoop asked Alyssa Truppelli, 32, who chowed down on, er, boiled buffalo testicle for Fear Factor, to give us her verdict on Rocco's.

•Mozzarella balls: "Too salty, [but] I am huge on cheese. I could eat a lot of these."

•Orecchiette with broccoli rabe and sausage: "Really good. You could tell the sausage was homemade. The pasta was done al dente."

•Dish that caused her to flash back to the buffalo testicle: "Mama's Meatballs."

POP QUIZ

Seann William Scott

Lock up your pastries: The kids from American Pie are back for a third helping in American Wedding. Seann William Scott, 26, who returns as everyone's favorite party boy, Stifler (and will be seen in this fall's The Rundown opposite action star The Rock), spoke to Scoop about bachelor parties, his future in hip-hop and why he thinks Meg Ryan is hot.

Is this movie really the last of the series?

This is the best way for the franchise to end. We do a lot more crazy things, and I think we're just going to leave it at that.

There's a wild bachelor party in the film. How true did that scene ring for you?

When I was really young my brother got married, and he had a bachelor party in this weird trailer. There are things that I saw that I never need to see again. American Wedding brought back horrible memories of weird girls doing weird things.

As host, you rapped on the MTV Movie Awards taped in May. Gonna go pro?

Because of my performance I'm getting offers for recording contracts. They never thought I would be a comedy-slash-hip-hop guy. In a couple months it will be me, Justin [Timberlake], Nelly and Pharrell [from the Neptunes]—we're going to go off on tour.

You're not serious.

You'll see if I'm kidding when my record is No. 1 in 2004 and I'm beating Mr. Timberlake.

In the American Pie films, Stifler's mom hooks up with a younger guy. Have you got your eye on an older woman?

I'm wondering if Meg Ryan is single. I like everything about her.

Maybe she'll read this and give you a call.

That's the idea. If she doesn't read it, I'm going to send it to her. Then, in two weeks, I'll send her a copy of American Wedding so she'll see how I strut my stuff and really bust a move. If she's still hesitant, in a year and a half she'll get my CD, and she'll know I'm the real deal.

ON THE BLOCK

HAWN HEAVEN
Price: $8.9 million
Place: Manhattan
Specs: Goldie Hawn and longtime partner Kurt Russell are selling their luxury condo. The 3,800-sq.-ft. apartment, featured in Architectural Digest, takes up the entire 54th floor of a midtown skyscraper and, along with four bedrooms, offers 360-degree views of Manhattan. There is also a pool in the building. The couple have additional homes in LA., Snowmass, Colo., and Vancouver, B.C.