Toyota Buys General Motors

In a move that even the most inside sources didn’t see coming, Toyota this morning announced a deal in which they would purchase General Motors for a stunning $42 billion in cash. This purchase has already been approved by GM’s board, as well as the UAW.

Perhaps the most incredible piece of information is that Toyota will be stopping production of every new GMC, Chevy, Pontiac, Saturn, Buick, Hummer, Cadillac, and Saab. Each one of GM’s plants will be shut down for good by the end of the month. According to a Toyota executive who asked not to be named, it just makes more sense this way. Rather than lose money by continuing to build sub-par products, they’ll just stop production altogether. This course of action will, in fact, save money.

As for the UAW, each member is accepting a buyout of $1 million. After all, they deserve it, according to union officials. It’s hard work earning a big paycheck for sitting around in the “job bank” week after week. Nothing short of 7 figures is a reasonable payoff for these folks, and that’s what they’ll get.

GM won’t die completely, however. Several of the best names will carry over to Toyota lines. For example, the Corvette will be reborn as the top Prius trim level. Power will be increased to 150 HP, enough to produce a bit of smoke from the front tires. The Silverado and Sierra will be upscale trim levels for the Camry. The Sierra will, of course, be the professional grade, off-road Camry, complete with mud tires and skid plates.

As for those with current GM products, you are not in so much luck. With the GM brands disappearing, you can expect resale value to plummet faster than a brand new Kia. And since Toyota will be selling off all the current GM dealerships for scrap metal, warranty repairs will be nonexistent. In other words, if you can find someone to take that new Avalanche off your hands, now is the time. Toyota is the future, and the future is now.