Cuocovill was a real thing that we were all expected to believe in! They ‘stepped out’ together! They bought groceries together! They maybe held hands once or twice and exchanged chaste kisses together! They made me believe in love again in the days between July the first and July the twelfth, and it was all a LIE. Eleven days of bliss down the drain.

But massive dream-ruining aside, Kaley and Ryan are getting engaged after three months of dating, which is a whole ‘nother thing. According to the dates we’ve been given, these two started dating on June 26th at the earliest, because Ryan allegedly proposed on September 26th. Glorious.

“It’s only been three months but she knows Ryan is the one. When you know, you know. [She's] never felt this way. She knows this is it. And the ring is gorgeous!”

Yes! yes yes yes! I know that feeling exactly! I get it every time I start eating ice cream, or when I play with a puppy or pick up someone’s baby. This is so fun. This is the best. I COULD DO IT FOREVER AND I WILL DON’T TRY TO STOP ME.

But then the ice cream gives my stomach an ache, and the puppy bites my furniture, and the baby makes a stenchy poop monster, and I’m like, “oh right”. That’s why you shouldn’t marry dogs or ice cream or babies right when you first meet them, because you have to get to know them first and remember that *~*~*nObOdY’s PeRfEcT*~*~* and people change and all that.

But good luck in your fake wedding, Kaley and Ryan. Your baby relationship sounds like a real blast. I bet he’ll never stop sleeping through the night.

Kaley seems like a person that just gets attached easily though. She was engaged before, then she called it off, then in like two days after she was making out with someone else, then suddenly Superman, now this. Soooo we’ll see.