Get over it

January 8, 2008

OK, lets get it out in the open, once and for all, and then lock it forever in a fucking safe and bury the key.
By ‘it’ I mean the dated, boring, insulting and highly annoying perception of women who have their breasts surgically enlarged.
When people say to me “What are the drawbacks of having a boob job?” I don’t say the pain or the nuisance of the whole thing. I say, “Well, it means people think that when the implant goes in, my intelligence goes out and I’m on the phone to a brothel begging for a job.”
Even the idea that all women who work in a brothel, or in the porn industry, are fucking idiots pisses me off.
We’re all going to be judged for our decision, girls. There will always be someone who looks down on you for something that is none of their damn business. So instead of getting angry (which I do, all the time) we are going to ignore it and be the generation of women who prove that having a boob job is not a synonym for: low intelligence, severe mental problems, no love life to speak of, a desire to have sex all the time, a desire to get paid for having sex, a desire to be seen as fluffy and stupid, or wanting excess male attention.
If you’ve got a problem with the idea, stop reading the fucking blog.

I think you misunderstand me–what I don’t like is the constant stereotypes and negativity that hounds people who get this done. I don’t really care who criticises me personally–if I did, I wouldn’t have this blog, would I?
ONE of the reasons I got it was because I was unhappy with my body and wanted to look different. That society argument is bullshit– it is technically true that we live in a time when women’s bodies are scrutinised in the media we have ALWAYS been scrutinised, we just live in a time that isn’t 1800 and women now have the freedom to do what they want to their bodies. I don’t blame society for an individual’s feelings.
Also I don’t think it’s true that all small breasted women are sub-standard and have insults and criticism lobbied at them– I have never said this and never thought it. Most people I know actually prefer smaller breasts. It is another stereotype that we all want big breasted women and the bigger they are, the more stupid they are. I simply personally thought I would look and feel better with plastic surgery, and I was right too. I’m very happy about it.
So people have plastic surgery– so what? No one deserves to be criticised for it. You don’t deserve to be criticised for your opinion, either, so sorry for doing it.

I don’t have problems with my body….or my self-esteem…and my self-perception is no longer warped. Because maybe it WAS warped, maybe it’s WRONG of me to think I didn’t look good with no breasts. But could I have changed how I felt without doing something about it? No. Is it society’s fault I wanted to change my body? No, and am I participating in some sort of cult where women are victims of the porn industry? No….
I respect your opinion and I don’t agree….but thank you and yes I am happy with them.

Because I am almost made feel wrong for being happy about it– like I should be aware that what I did was simply foster our misogynistic society. There is nothing wrong with women choosing to change, alter, do anything to their bodies. It’s not that I’m annoyed if someone doesn’t like the implants themselves– like if some guy I was with said he found them a complete turn-off– that’s fine, each to their own. But it’s the fact I have them at all, or any woman has th em, that bothers some people and seems to feed into this stereotype of women with fake boobs being a joke, being stupid, or being pathetic. Surely it would be better to fight the real injustices to women in society– abuse, rape, violence, inequality in pay and work– than think a woman who chooses to augment her body is wrong. I guess I mean the entire attitude to the procedure bothers me in general.

I’m seriously bothered with “Whatswrongwithnatural” comments. Women like myself that appreciate your blog and use it as informative resources don’t need people coming on here and bashing your self esteem. I am very educated (MBA & Marketing Director) with two children (both breastfeed) and have an educated hubby (PMI member/BA in Business) and am sick and tired of feeling guilty because mentally and financially I can make my body ideal. Until someone experiances that in life (who doesn’t have issues and I’ll call them out immediately) there’s no way they’ll trully understand the process and earn personal and/or social respect. Thank you Alex for your blog, I enjoy reading about your ordeal and aniticipate my procedure goes just as smooth.

whatswrongwithnatural, it sounds like your the one that is not happy with your own body or self esteem, hence why you are doing searches in google for info on boob jobs.
I know how to spot one, i was once ;ike you also, putting down anyone who dared to have a boob job, id get so worked up and angry at other women who had had a breast enlargement, mainly because my self esteem was low.
It truly shows a low self esteem when you put down and try to hurt the feelings of another person, you my dear are suffering far more than anyone on this site.
I have found the women and the owner of this website to be amazingly kind hearted and honest, qualities that i find most important, yes they like me were not happy with the size of their breasts, luckily for them in this day and age they are able to do something about it. (as i recently have)
Unlike you who unfortunately cant have a compassion implant or a empathy implant…

I know this is an old post, but I’ve got something to say, so I’m saying it… my sister recently got breast enhancement surgery, and she’s still swollen and so afraid that she’s going to look like Pamela Anderson for the rest of her life. 🙂 I was looking for a website or blog that she could read to help her through the emotions of the first few weeks. I think, Alex, that I may have found it, and I commend you for daring to be the voice of these girls, and take the criticism that people just seem to need to load upon others in their quest for perfection.
For unamed “What’s wrong with Natural”… well, nothing is wrong with natural, everyone knows that. But the question for you is, what’s wrong with not natural? Would you condemn a person who lost a limb to life without prosthetics? I know you’re now thinking that a limb is necessary, and breasts, not so. Well, I challenge you on that. There have been an increasing number of news stories about people with extreme forms of handicap who get by just fine (like that famous woman with no arms who had a baby and takes care of her herself, crazy to watch somone cook dinner and change diapers with their feet)… and breasts are in fact part of the body, they aren’t an outdated relic of the past, they are a part of the woman’s body that makes her uniquely female. Anthropologically, they are how the male of our species knows that the female is fertile, and as such, have become a big part of sexual desire, not just in the developed world where Hugh Heffner is a household name, but in our entire species, regardless of it’s exposure to airbrushed models. Having your boobs augmented may be a luxury, but it isn’t because having them makes you ‘sexy’, it’s becuase not having them makes a woman feel like less of a woman…
another example… have you ever known a woman who was diagnosed with breast cancer? I don’t know if you knwo this, but in the event of a breast cancer diagnosis, American insurance must pay for any of 3 options… 1) mastectomy of affected breast, 2) full mastectomy (both sides for good measure), or 3) full mastectomy AND breast augmentation… yes, that’s right, it’s considered a part of a woman’s body. And if you’ve ever known a woman with breast cancer (I’ve had the displeasure of knowing two)… as with any diagnosis that could lead to death, the person is overwhelmed by the thought of dying, but the hope in them that they will live leads one to mourn the loss of the normality that we all live within. For a heterosexual woman, normality is tied into our femininity, and that link is not easily broken, the thought of living on, but without part of that femininity is very depressing for many woman.
Third… what is it with people wanting to tell others how to think and feel? I don’t get it. It’s always been an enigma to me within political and religious context, but this is even worse. How is it anyone’s business, what makes people think they should judge me for my actions which harm none. I wonder if when braces were becoming more popular, people were very judgemental of the desire to have straight teeth? Or if when ED became a diagnosed disorder, if people were judgemental of men who wanted to have sex again? Sure, I get that everything that we do changes the societal norms, but like Alex said… there are so many more important things to be worrying about… like rape and murder, sex slavery in much of the world, child pornography, people so hungry in haiti that they are rioting for grain, women in africa being infected through rape with HIV, even the unethical practices of big insurance companies in America… there is so much in the world to be preoccupied, why focus on the rightousness of plastic surgery? Especially in such a negative way, even if I was inclined against plastic surgery, such venemous arguments make me disrespect the position.
And that is all.