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To Turban or not to Turban?

Since a very young age I have followed Sikhism devoutly and have never questioned the religion. I am now in my 20s and found many girls are not interested in me due to my turban, they all like my personality but are put off as they say they would rather I was turban less. I too would like to get rid of my turban but I am caught up in how my parents will deal with it and do not want to be disrespectful to them. Please advise. Suki Gill Liverpool

Big Rannie

Suki wearing a turban is the crowning gift given by Guru Gobind Singh Ji. It is symbolic and represents complete commitment and is a primary identifying feature. Getting rid of your turban is discourteous towards your religion and also your parents. I'm sure your parents are well respected within the community and cutting your hair and ridding your turban will cause great embarrassment for them. What you must also realise is that there are many girls who are drawn to people with turbans this shows they will have similar values to you in terms of religion and family. Surely you will want any prospective partner to live with your parents and respect the essence of the Sikh culture. These girls who are drawn to boys with their hair cut are normally naughty girls and from my experience they will finish with you within a few weeks and move on to the next one. So keep your dignity and don't sell out and make your parents proud.

Little Rannie

Dear Suki,

Firstly you have to ask yourself – what does my religion mean to me and why do I have a turban. In my opinion religion is not about how you dress -it's about what's in your heart. With regard to your turban and attracting the opposite sex, I have to be honest and say a lot of women prefer a man with a funky haircut and generally hair that is shorter than theirs. Generally man with shorter hair take priority, then men with turbans and trimmed beards and finally the man in last place is the man with a turban and overgrown beard. Take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself will you be better looking with or without the turban, because if you won't then there is no point in cutting your hair and changing a fundamental part of your identity. As to your parents, live your own life and not a life of what your parents or other people want you to do. Don't be a people pleaser but be a pleaser to yourself, otherwise you will lead a life of frustration.