Zeroing Out the Moleskine, vol. 242

By the way, before we get started here… I want to make it clear that I don’t REALLY use a Moleskine notebook. They’re fairly pretentious. Also, they cost about twelve bucks each, versus the ones I buy at Target for a dime.

The only time I used an actual Moleskine was during our trip to England. It fit perfectly in my jacket pocket, and I’d take it to the pub after dinner, have a few Boddington’s (it was only Boddington’s or Stella Artois in the hotel bar), and scribble down the day’s events.

I liked that little notebook, and decided to buy another one for everyday use. But it didn’t take. I felt like a douche whenever I’d break it out, and quickly switched back to the tried and true ten-cent Back to School special. For some reason I don’t feel as self-conscious with a regular notebook.

Also, I’ve been using the Evernote phone app, more and more. It’s starting to take the place of notebooks, and eventually I’ll make the switch completely. It’s a great tool for jotting down insensitive thoughts and observations, and I use it every day. I also have Evernote installed on my two computers, and can view my notes on any of them. Everything goes to a cloud drive, and I love it. Plus, it’s free.

What’s the most pretentious thing in your life? Or, more precisely… what’s something you use (or do) that could be misconstrued as pretentious? Please tell us about it.

I was looking at boxer briefs a few weeks ago. Every pair I own has collapsed, and some should probably be burned or buried. It doesn’t take long… three or four months and they’re shot. I thought I could maybe buy a better quality, and they’d last longer. So, I looked at Macy’s (I think), and almost swallowed my tongue. I checked out Calvin Klein, and that sort of thing… and they cost $25 per pair! I about shat.

There’s simply no way. My wiener would probably start putting on airs, and maybe even take to wearing an ascot and monocle. Talk about pretentious! My scrotum will be seated in only the world’s finest fabrics…

So, like the notebooks, I’ll just stick with the tried and true. If it’s good enough for Michael Jordan, it’s good enough for me. Screw it. Sure, they become distended and misshapen after six or eight washings, but I’m not paying $25 for a single ball sock. Good god!

What do you have on this subject? Is there anything in your life that might cause assholes to snort derisively, and mumble ‘what a pretentious cock’? If so, now’s your chance to confess. Also, have you ever avoided things you might otherwise enjoy, for fear of being perceived as a pretentious cock? You know, like a Moleskine notebook, or up-town britches?

Shit, this was supposed to be a one paragraph disclaimer…

I’ve started watchingFreaks and Geeks on Netflix. They just added it to the streaming service, and I don’t think I’ve seen it since it originally aired. What a great show. It, and My So-Called Life, are two of the best TV programs about the challenging middle school and high school experience.

Paul Feig, who created Freaks and Geeks, has written two memoirs. The first is about his pre-teen years, and the second is about high school and beyond. In Superstud, the second book, there’s an excruciating chapter in which he describes the night he almost became a paraplegic, while trying to give himself a blowjob. An entire chapter… with loads of detail.

Yes, it’s quite memorable. I read a lot, and enjoy the offbeat shit, but that particular section of his second book sticks out in my mind. Is there such a thing as too much honesty? Perhaps, but I’m glad some folks don’t recognize society’s rules.

What’s your favorite coming-of-age movie or TV show? And is there a moment in a book you’ve read, which made you think, “Holy shit. If that ever happened to me, I’d never tell a person about it!” What jumps immediately to mind? If someone asked me that question, I’d blurt, PAUL FEIG TRYING TO BLOW HIMSELF!! Without a moment’s hesitation.

Finally, did you ever build model cars, and that sort of thing? Some of you youngsters might not even know what I’m talking about, but the old farts do. I tried to get into it when I was a kid, but it was too much like math. There was only one way of doing it, no room for improvisation, and I don’t do well in those circumstances.

Steve – who is a math professor now – LOVED building models. And I – who sat in the back of every math class and made sarcastic remarks – couldn’t stand it. Why not just buy an already put together car? That’s what I always wanted to know. Why in God’s name would you want to purchase a million parts that can be glued together to create a plastic car?? It made no sense to me. It was a giant hassle in a box.

But every kid back then dabbled in it, so I gave it shot. And it wasn’t for me, so I moved on. Sort of like my experience with the Baptist church… I also couldn’t stand those ridiculous LEGO sets my kids would get when they were younger. Not just regular LEGO sets, but ones that went together to create a pirate ship, or whatever. They made me insane, just like model cars did in the 1970s.

Did you ever mess with those things? There was a store in Dunbar (House of Toys) that had a giant wall of model kits – literally hundreds to choose from – and I don’t think anyone even sells them anymore. What’s your experience with that dubious fad? Steve’s room was filled with them, and I think I had one or two that looked like a monkey with severe head injuries tried to put them together.

There’s a 1964 Chevy something or other on the mantel in one of our bedrooms…John’s finest work from his middle childhood. Pretty sure he would have a heart attack if I hid it away. He did do a pretty perfect job on it, though, I will certainly admit.

I’d have to say…scrambled porn being beemed in by a swimming pool sized satalite dish. If you did all the fine tuning on the apiture just right you could get a pretty steady screen. The collors were all like photo negatives, but that was fine.

It just looked like giant purple alien boobs and black, eh…excretions.

pretentious…no. I save that for my conversations, in which I usually use too many big words and confuse people. I used to use a fountain pen to take notes in class, a very pretentious thing to do, but that was when there were no computers and recording the class seemed like something stupid people would do who couldn’t take notes fast enough, and I’m a leftie so pencils were right out….

Also, that time I built a funny-car model. That was pretty freaking over the top snotty.

Only cool people built models. Hell – I still do. 7 or 8 years ago, I bought several different models of WWII Navy landing craft, painted them up and put the decals of my Dad’s ship on them and gave some away at his Navy reunion. When I was a kid, my favorites were the 1968 Camaro, some big “chop-daddy” motorcycle and a B-52 bomber that had a wing-span of about two feet.

And I won’t even tell you what I used to do in model railroading 30 years ago. Nor about blowing myself…..

I am strictly a fruit of the loom guy. $25 for a single pair of drawers? The only people with that kind of dough are Saudi princes and guys who are a part of a “cartel” of some kind.

I want to be pretentious, but I don’t pull it off well. I think I have white collar tastes and a blue collar sensibility. For example, I’d like a BMW for my next car, but it’s most likely going to be a Ford Fusion.

On the other hand, I own my own tuxedo even though I’m not a classical musician or a magician. I bought it because I believe rented tuxes fit poorly and I wanted to get married in clothes that were tailored correctly.

I also have a slightly formal vocabulary sometimes (think Winchester from M*A*S*H without the Boston accent). That can seem times sound a bit off, but I don’t care.

Coming of age movies…. The Breakfast Club first, then probably anything with Lee Marvin.

I built lots of models as a kid and got pretty into it for a few years. One of these days I’m going to try my hand at a wooden ship model. I bought a kit cheap at a yard sale and plan to start it when I’m out of projects around the house. That shouldn’t take more than 20 or so years.

Never had the interest or aptitude for math, definitely made a lot of sarcastic comments and was a salesman and then a nurse. I have no idea if that means anything or not.

Great questions today. I like updates that touch on a bunch of topics. A veritable melange, if you will.

Get your ass down to Macy’s or Dillards or similar and get some flippin’ name-brand underwear. Hanes is NOT a name brand. Try Tommy or Ralph Lauren or something. I’ve got underwear going on 10 years old. You’ll save money in the long run, your balls will be happier, and you’ll have something pretentious.

Things that could be construed as pretentious… When I hand-write a date, I do it Brit-style: “18 Oct” rather than “10/18”. The reason is that one time I got extremely frustrated with binders full of schematics for a Belgian-made video projector, trying to tell which ones were newer. The drawings all had dates like “9/7” and “12/3”.

As a kid I loved building models: plenty of cars but mostly airplanes, plus the odd ship here and there. The good kits were made by Revell; the Aurora ones were kind of shitty, or maybe I preferred P-51s to super heroes.
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I have the same pile of underwear that I had when I first met my wife, 12 years ago. It’s probably 14 years old. I know because it amuses her that she has binders of my ancient underwear to wash in her laundry room. Some of it will need to be replaced soonish. Guess what, that 12 year old underwear is Calvin Klein stuff. Sometimes you get what you pay for.

I stamped on the few models I tried to make. I do not have the temperament for that shit.

Wal-Mart sells $100 shoes? I pay up for my cowboy boots and hiking boots and everyday shoes (athletics) and they last. and last. Underwear is a disposable commodity and need not be kept around for 14 years.

Every two weeks I have to spend the day working out in the boonies. I need an internet connection while I’m working so I take my iPad, and the knuckle dragging locals look at me like I’m a pretentious nose-breathing asshole for using the thing.

When I was a kid I liked to make models of the great philosophers, and scale models of the works of famous architects. Some of these I would burn with airplane glue, the rest I would destroy with firecrackers.

The first thing that came to mind for me, regarding pretentiousness, was how and what I eat, and how many people take great offense at my choices. I eat very, very healthfully and I’m very particular about not only calories, but quality of ingredients. I worked really hard to get where I am and my choices are not a judgment on yours! If the food in front of me is sub-par, I’m not going to eat it AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME! Heck yes, I buy $26/cheese and organic fruit, why do you care?! You eat what you want and I’ll eat what I want! Its like kindergarten all over again, “Let Ginger worry about Ginger and you worry about you.”

And no, I never criticize other’s food choices, that is your own business. Do whatever makes you happy, and so will I, even if that means spending twice as much on pretentious fruit!

Cheese prices have friggin’ skyrocketed. Even American cheese can go up to $6.99 pound. I try to stock up on Cabot’s Seriously Sharp Cheddar when it goes on sale. I could eat the whole block in one sitting!

Your softer cheeses are good for fucking. That would be your Velveeta (ideal for fucking), Brie, most goat cheeses, blue cheese, and even cream cheese and cottage cheese. Harder cheeses such as parmesan, pecorino, and sharp cheddar aren’t suitable for fucking. So I hear.

I’m with Ginger. The way I eat. When I go back to the States, they can’t MAKE me go to a chain restaurant and then call me a ‘food snob’. Yeah, what of it? I was like that when I lived in SF, too.
That and maybe the $15,000 I have in shoes from when I was an Architectural Rep. I like Donald Pliner, what can I say? (They’re all languishing in their boxes here.)

I have one pretentious thing that I hide like a dead body. On our first anniversary my wife got me a straight razor and all the shit that goes with it. I’ve been using it ever since. It’s nice not having to buy those goddamn space ships that they sell as razors now. But when we go somewhere I carry disposables. I’m not going to be a douche and strap my razor in the hallway of some hotel. God.

I have some of those plastic model cars in my garage. Still in the box. Untouched. I’ve had them for 30 years and won’t throw them away because I know that as soon as I do I’ll see some just like them on Antiques Roadshow and they’ll be worth a fortune. That’s my reason for keeping almost everything I have – it might be worth a fortune. That’s a phobia I’ve had ever since I threw away my original copy of the U.S. Constitution and then found out it was probably worth millions. Not really.

The model kits might well be worth a fortune, but that doesn’t help you if you hold on to them. A buddy of mine just paid $90 for a never-opened toy from the 1960s at a flea market in WV, then sold it on ebay for $3000. So it’s worth looking into.
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Criminey…I must be SUCH a nerd! I put together all sorts of models (mostly airplanes) as a young’un, mainly because we didn’t have an Atari 2600 to keep me entertained. I was never really good at it, either. Most of my models looked like they were assembled by Pablo Picasso, or Salvador Dali or something! Had an HO train layout, too…and model rockets…and was in marching band. Now that I think of it, how in the world did I ever get married when I was such a geek?!?

Jeff, I’d encourage you to try the pretentious boxer briefs just once… I also used to go with the Champion underwear that was 3-for-$10 or whatever. But then I bought a couple of pairs of Under Armour boxer briefs for running, and they’ve now become an item for everyday use. A couple of observations:

1) The Under Armour has lasted for four years so far. And they look exactly as good as when they were first bought. No signs of wear at all.

2) They don’t get stretched funny by the end of the day… that was always a problem with the cheapo boxer briefs, with the elastic leg holes getting loose and feeling weird by nighttime.

I love the Under Armour stuff. Like someone else mentioned, you get what you pay for.

I pay up for my long johns and thermal long sleeves. Not the stuff from Family Dollar. I live in them starting this time of year. (…it’s been 22 in the morning here). I don’t consider them disposable like my tighty whities. Got longuns on right now actually.

I haven’t stepped up to the Under Armour stuff yet, but I’ve been wearing boxer-briefs of the same material for years now. They are definitely more expensive, but they are fantastic. I think they wear better than normal cotton boxers under anything from jeans to suit pants.

The truly pretentious ride around in non blizzaks, as if they aren’t endangering the lives of everyone else with their sub par tires. They like to live on the edge until their foolishness causes their brains to be scattered all over the road. It’s like playing Russian roulette. So pretentious.

Never did any models – I think my brother attempted some care thing back in the day. We used to like doing jigsaw puzzles if that’s in the same category.

I LOVED “My So-Called Life.” Too bad it was only on for one season. Clare Danes was adorable back then. Now she looks like every other Hollywood actress.

One of my all time favorite sorta/kinda coming of age movies is “How Green Was My Valley” with a very young Roddy McDowell.

Pretentious? I don’t eat anything from anybody’s unknown kitchen. When someone at work brings shit in, I walk away. Cupcakes, brownies – I love them all but won’t eat that crap from the slobs I work with.

I just got a new laptop. Broke the old one. Closed the lid with the mouse on the keyboard. Shattered the display screen. Looks like broken glass. A new spiffy nylon messenger style bag came with it. Excellant quality but man a really cool saddle bag style leather one would compliment my pompus ass attitude nicely.

I did cars, planes, warships and all sorts of gule and paints. I was pretty much into it. Perfect paint jobs were a must. My fave thing was balsa wood airplanes. X-Acto knives and blueprints were involved. I’d forgotten how fun that was. Might buy a kit. Maybe this…

That looks like an awesome kit. Of course, who doesn’t love a DC-3? And once again I’ll put in a rave for the now-long-gone Polk’s Toy and Hobby Shop in midtown Manhattan. They had four-cylinder gas engines for your flying models! Among other things.
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Holy crap. I received my first paycheck since may today. It feels good. 14 months unemployed with a 3 month stint in Vegas. I’m finally back doing what I do best.
Sorry this is off topic but seeing that wad of cash and digging myself out of my poverty hole feels good.

I think the worst part was getting the job 8/28 and a start date on 10/1 and worrying about background checks and moving and everything else that can go wrong. I moved into an apartment in mesa last night. And two weeks ago they opened mesas first brewery.

Liz Claiborne handbag. My daughter gave me a used one and as soon as I figured out that people took one look at that thing and thought I was a RB, I put it up and dragged out my Thrift Store $5 special. I coulda been mugged, ya know. I have gone up to $10 on those, tho, because I had to give up on spending $10 on a purse in the stores. All of them are at least $20 now. Way too much. I do not accessorize. I carry around crap that I or the people with me may need while we are out.

As for underwear, I swear there was an article in a Weekly Reader I got in third grade (52 yar’n ago) that said they were going to start making underwear with paper. I remember thinking smugly, “Well, if they do that, I just won’t buy it.” Little did I know I would have no choice. Fer cryin out loud–you pay middle dollar (not top, but definitely not the bottom of the line either–no pun intended), and in less than 3 months, they tear when you look at them wrong. Damn things start dissolving. Used to be able to get good drawers at Sears. Sears was trustworthy (I think I griped about them yesterday). Not any more. These days, every new batch of anything is suspect. Especially if the packaging says “New and Improved!” I really hate to see those words. And as if paper wasn’t bad enough, now they make clothing with plastic. Of course, that’s how polyester got its name, but I’m talking about real (probably recycled grocery bag), make ya sweat and break out in a rash plastic. ew. The only thing left for me to do at this point is toss it when I start playing the “What if you have to go to the emergency room?” tape in my head and comfort myself with the realization that when I throw one pair away, I can go buy a package of three to take its place.

As for holding on to things that will be worth something someday. I guess my kids is it for me. Everything else (except those pretty scarves I got rid of, dangit) is worth about as much as the paper bags it came in back then. My husband had a fabulous baseball card collection. He left it tucked safely into his bedroom closet when he went away to college. His mom threw it out during some sort of housecleaning binge….I guess even collecting for the future is some kind of gift. My kids have turned out pretty well, tho, for the most part.

I went through a lot of glue and plastic in my youth. Still got a few hiding on top of a bookshelf that survived the mayhem. Got back into building a few after I graduated college with the goal of full detailing. Did a couple and figured looking at internet porn would be better use of my time. =-)

Pretentious? My favourite band is Tool. Tool is one of those bands where “if you get it” you realise that they are quite possibly the greatest music band on earth, ever. If you say that Tool isn’t very good or sucks, we say that Tool is so musically complex that they are above your level of competence. “I love Tool but I hate their fans” is a common phrase, though perhaps not as common as “I like U2 music but I hate their fans/politics”

Anyway, name any band that you have ever liked and I guarantee you that Tool is better. Pretentious, yes…but still true. Here is Tool covering one of the other greatest bands of all time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNUq-JSXvS4

You want pretentious? I got pretentious right here. People think I’m all fancy-pants for being a Gentle Giant fan. I think this band has the complexity thing down cold: multiple time signatures in the same song? Check. A capella vocal fugues? Check. Odd meters, strange chords? Check. Oh, and Hammond B3. Every band member is a multi-instrumentalist.

If you’re gonna go Prog, go all the way. This is how we got into Viet Nam, got a little hooked on coke, got a little married a little too young, and this is how I became emotionally involved with King Crimson all those years ago. The first 30 is quiet. The rest isn’t.

Good stuff, I’m somewhat familliar with KC but Gentle Giant is new to me. Keep the noise coming. Here is another brilliant band, Between the Buried and Me. The harsh vocals in the first two minutes will turn off 95% of you…but I implore you to keep going (or just skip to the 2:06 mark) the guitar section at 4:09 is beautiful, he does sweeps that don’t sound like sweeps. The bass is alive throughout. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypOKQ2Jnrxc

That’s actually quite good. Some nice bass work there. That first couple of minutes of vocals, though – is there a name for that style of singing? Seems like I’ve been hearing it a lot; Bad Religion comes to mind.

I also see that the guy states in the video that “When the 13 tracks of this Tool album are reordered in a Fibonacci sequence, they flow better; the end of each track exactly matches the beginning of the next one. 6, 7, 5, 8, 4, 9, 13, 1, 12, 2, 11, 3, 10.” That may indeed be a better order, but it’s hardly a Fibonacci sequence. I’ll try listening to it that way anyway.
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Lateralus (the CD) is absolutely perfect just as it is. My biggest (and only) issue with 10,000 Days is that it is in the wrong sequence. It would flow much better if it opened and closed with the orchestral tunes. Start with Wings 1&2 have Vicarious/Jambi/The Pot/Intension/Right In Two in the middle and end with Rosetta Stoned.

A buddy of mine says that the reason he likes to play guitar (as opposed to other instruments) is because you can smoke a cigarette while playing. Personally, I could never figure out guitar. And you *can’t* smoke while playing sax.
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I’ve been out on the road for a month and did a lot of projects around the place the past few days while I’m home. Covered the motor home and got ready for winter. Even had a chance to oil the ‘ol Winchester this afternoon. Is that too pretentious?

I have a 6 (was 8 but crashed 2) small Luscombe 11E’s made by Quartz Mountain Aerospace (on par with a Cessna 182) and a Cessna Citation V… Citation’s not for sale yet, though. Probably will be next year.

The most pretentious thing I have EVER bought were these kick-ass Sennheiser headphones. Retail price: $1100. My price: $400. Yeah, they might have been a little “hot”, but since I bought them from a website that didn’t come up with a whole shitload of sex popups, I didn’t care.Them Sennheiser 650 headphones were the SHIT. And, speaking of shit, they shit the bed over a year (or three) ago, and my dumb ass is still talking about getting them repaired. Part of me thinks it’s stupid, but the other part? Knows that I will never in the near (or far) future to be lucky enough to buy $1,100 headphones to listen to a NAD Series 20 amplifier, a 1976 Technics SJ 2000 turntable, and a Luxman 92 CD player. But damn, when I was on a roll, I was on a ROLL!