Pages

30 August, 2011

Jojo Jelly Beans

If you saw the movie Tropic Thunder, you might remember a scene with Jack Black doping himself up with white powdery drugs he keeps in a Jojo Jelly Bean box. Apparently, someone thought there would be a huge demand for Jojo Jelly Beans thanks to the riotous comedy stylings of Jack Black and so Dreamworks brought out actual Jojo Jelly Beans as a movie tie-in candy.

By the time I found Jojos in job lot store in Maine, I had completely forgotten about Tropic Thunder (movies with either Ben Stiller or Jack Black tend to do that to me anyway; it seems that with both of them in the same flick, the effect is magnified.) What attracted me was the packaging featuring a nightmare clown vomiting jelly beans down his tongue and into the mouths of two dead-eyed children. "Multi-Flavor Colorings!" also cracked me up. Only after I got them home and really looked the package over did I realize that it was a tie-in, thanks to a Tropic Thunder logo, complete with the MPAA's R-rating.

Still...jelly beans! Insane murder clown! Win, right? Right??

No. Wrong. These jelly beans totally suck. Inside the package, there are green, pink, yellow, red, and orange jelly beans, and the flavors of each are nearly indistinguishable from one another. They have a strange floral quality (and not good floral, like orange-blossom honey or rose petal tea, but bad floral like your ancient maiden aunt's eau de toilette that she splashes on in lieu of a bath.) And although they're soft and pliable inside, the coating is like sugarbrick. I was going to give them a pass on the brickness, seeing as Tropic Thunder came out in 2008 and who knows how long these things might have been sitting around in a warehouse, but I notice that several places are still selling them online so I'm just going to be a douche and assume that they were shipped stale from day one. Unless you simply can't live without the graphics on that box, you really are better off skipping this purchase if you find them.

Many are the times I've come home with candy in tins the shape of Nintendo's Super Mario mushrooms made by Boston America - there is no denying the packaging is cool even when the product inside isn't, strictly speaking, the best stuff you can buy.

Hey look! Chinese! In case you are curious, the characters over the tongue translate to something like "Eternal Best". I must not be seeing the top right hand characters well though, because it looks like "Do not enter." Maybe its a subtle warning to consumers....

Finally someone who has made mention of the scary clown packaging on these things.

Your description is almost exactly what I told my wife when I saw these things at Marden's Surplus in Brewer, Maine a while back. They still have plenty if anyone is looking for them, lol.

I did buy one just to show the crazy packaging to my friends. 4 for a dollar -- hard to go too far wrong. :)

The jellybeans are definitely sub-par and once again the description of the taste is dead on. 'Floral' describes it perfectly.

I just had some of these tonight, and though I am disgusted and repulsed, at the same time I have an inexplicable craving to go and buy more. My wife says that my eyes are looking kinda wierd as well... not sure what that is all about. Hmm...

Search Through The Cupboard

Loading...

Posts may contain Amazon affiliate links. These links are for products that I have personally tested and enjoy using, and I do not accept any consideration from manufacturers for providing the link. If you purchase a product through an Amazon affiliate link, your cost will be the same but Dave's Cupboard will automatically receive a small commission from Amazon. Thanks for your support!