tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1952494318672157502014-10-14T04:22:04.944-06:00The SwarmBecause You'll Never Be A ButterflyMillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.comBlogger109125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-56857495058990673882011-12-07T17:56:00.005-07:002011-12-07T18:11:14.652-07:00So Long, and Thanks for All the Dolphin FrottageAfter several months of keeping The Swarm updated in two locations, our accounting department has decided it just doesn't make economic sense any more.<br /><br />So from now on The Swarm will only be updated at: <a href="http://teemingswarm.com/">http://teemingswarm.com/</a>.<br />Please adjust your bookmarks accordingly.<br /><br />Here's a picture of a bird trying to eat a cat.<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-e-pkJp2nFq4/TuANKmQWteI/AAAAAAAAAbg/PxFiVoZ5RcA/s1600/owned_cat_by_bird.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 356px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-e-pkJp2nFq4/TuANKmQWteI/AAAAAAAAAbg/PxFiVoZ5RcA/s400/owned_cat_by_bird.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5683557205460563426" border="0" /></a>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-28873096215960513832011-12-06T17:05:00.002-07:002011-12-06T17:05:00.180-07:00So Can Sensual Ice Skating<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-i9um4nVHz4w/Ttgkgoi3j6I/AAAAAAAAAbU/IKlQEh41RYQ/s1600/Broken%2BPenis.JPG"><img style="border: 1px solid black;" 0px="" auto="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-i9um4nVHz4w/Ttgkgoi3j6I/AAAAAAAAAbU/IKlQEh41RYQ/s400/Broken%2BPenis.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5681331072985960354" border="0" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thanks for the tip, Aol!<br /></div><br />Previously:<br /><a href="http://teemingswarm.blogspot.com/2011/10/non-stop-see-through-coverage.html">This</a><br /><a href="http://teemingswarm.blogspot.com/2011/10/poison-penpal.html">This</a><br />and <a href="http://teemingswarm.blogspot.com/2011/09/bitches-always-fake-it.html">This</a>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-3329839311915028122011-12-05T17:42:00.001-07:002011-12-05T17:42:00.370-07:00Teen Wolf Too<p>Below are some excerpts from my upcoming Twilight fan fiction novella, <strong><em>Harvest Moon.</em></strong></p><p><strong><em> </em></strong>Note: I've never actually read any of the Twilight books, so if any of these excerpts are word-for -word the same as passages from the novels, it's totally a coincidence.</p><p>Revving the engine, Edward sped his motorcycle through the night. There was still time; he could sense it. If he was only fast enough, he could still make it. Screeching to stop in front of Bella's house, Edward vaulted off the bike and raced toward the door. She had been right, he shouldn't have eaten that third enchilada.</p><p> "Edward! What are you doing in Leningrad?" asked Jacob<br /> "I just wanted to say hi... comrade."</p><p> "We were part of an elite yard care service. We tended to the gardens of the nobility. Periodically the lycans would swoop down from the hills, digging holes and pooping everywhere. Thus began a fued that continues to this day. My clan of landscapers was known by our specialty. We were called "Raking Lawn".<br /><img class="mceWPmore mceItemNoResize" title="More..." src="http://teemingswarm.wordpress.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.wordpress.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/plugins/wordpress/img/trans.gif" /><br /> "Do you know Jacob's e-mail address?"<br /> "Yeah, I got if from that list at the bumper boat place. It's breakingdongslol@wolfenstein.net."</p><p> "Bella, this is the perfect night. The night when I give you everything of myself. The night when finally you surrender the wonders of your body for the first time."<br /> "Sure." mumbled Bella.<br /> "Sure? What 'sure'?" asked Edward, confused.<br /> "Well, I mean, pretty much."<br /> "You haven't given yourself to that filthy mongrel Jacob, have you, my dear?" he said, his anger rising.<br /> "What? Oh, no. But last summer, I was at that party with Jeff Webber, and y'know, he really liked me and we were making out for a<br />while..."<br /> "He didn't hurt you, did he?"<br /> "No, it's just that we were fooling around for a while in a bedroom, and I sort of let him do it with my butt."<br /> "Bella!"<br /> "Look, he didn't put it in or anything. He just had sex with my butt cheeks. It was kind of like a hotdog in a bun. I also let him watch me pee."<br /> "Cool..."</p><p>Edward quickly changed into his alt mode and fired his cannon at the face of the dam.</p><p>Bella winced at the afternoon sun. Looking down, she noticed her skin twinkling. Had it truly happened? Had she become one of the immortal? No, she realized, it was just glitter on her from when that clown exploded.</p><p> "Bella, it's not just our shapeshifting that makes us different." Jacob explained. "From the time we can walk we are given special training. Most people have no idea about what we really are. But sometimes, bits of the truth come out. Do you remember that TV show Werewolf Accountant? I myself <em>am</em> a level three CPA." </p><p> "Jacob! What are you doing on the space station!?" asked Edward, baffled.<br /> "I just wanted to tell you something... igloo buddy." Jacob sneered.<br /> "Noooooooo!"</p><p>The Tyrannosaurus hung his head. Bella had finally noticed him, but he had to turn down her offer. He had never <em>learned</em> to Tango!<br /><br /> "Whatever." said Edward. Bella gently leaned her head on Edward's chest, exhaling the aroma of Chili Cheese Fritos.<br /><br />Jacob looked around nervously, shifting his weight from foot to foot before casually reaching down to adjust his wolf penis.<br /></p>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-8455329922959632011-12-04T12:34:00.001-07:002011-12-04T12:34:00.620-07:00Sunday Cipher #45 - Operator The Dyslexic Telegraph<p>Well, what did you expect? Can you figure out the dyslexic telegraph operator's message before Aslan picks up his formal mane from the cleaner's?<br /></p><p>Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: H equals F.</p><p>Note: The first period in this cipher is not a full stop, but a dot for an abbreviation. There is also an umlaut somewhere in this week's puzzle!<br /></p><p><strong style="font-weight: normal;">"DU/ NVWRS/ VZEQS/ RWEQZB/ LVZG,/ EHSZQ/ 175/ UZEQR,/ DQ./ DYBWGETB/ HFGETTU/ HWXGB/ SVZ/ WQFNFGET/ TUQFYR/ SW/ 'HXQ/ ZTFRZ'."/</strong><br /><strong style="font-weight: normal;">- (NVWRS)/ TXBLFN/ IEG/ CZZSVWIZG</strong><br /><br />The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer. </p><p>Last week's answer:<br />"So this harness can lift an entire horse off the ground just so you can put pants on it? Oh, you dropped your pencil; I'll grab it." - Catherine The Great<br /></p>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-6561681663667433302011-12-03T14:15:00.000-07:002011-12-03T14:15:00.389-07:00Blame It on No Shame<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uYSiGOLTD3o/TtgjVQEcamI/AAAAAAAAAbI/NkfF9fdOQj4/s1600/IMG_0094.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uYSiGOLTD3o/TtgjVQEcamI/AAAAAAAAAbI/NkfF9fdOQj4/s400/IMG_0094.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5681329777925712482" border="0" /></a><br />Spotted on the way to work. Fab!MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-63074512659800496372011-12-02T17:38:00.000-07:002011-12-02T17:38:00.152-07:00I See Dead CareersLooks hard times for Haley Joel Osment.<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-h6j0gdT5fKo/TtgivI8oJVI/AAAAAAAAAa8/Y2cqOKacgnc/s1600/Osment%2BRamen.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 288px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-h6j0gdT5fKo/TtgivI8oJVI/AAAAAAAAAa8/Y2cqOKacgnc/s400/Osment%2BRamen.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5681329123178849618" border="0" /></a>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-92167756700072057092011-12-01T17:47:00.002-07:002011-12-01T17:54:38.371-07:00Eight Arms to Hold You<p>This piece is clearly about a month old.</p><p>The spiders, with whom I am engaged in an ongoing, endless battle, have decided to use this season to mount a new offensive. It hasn't been OK. I know the spiders know I hate them. I know the spiders know this is a war.</p><p>A couple months back I found a spider waiting for me. In my mail. I can't figure what else a spider was doing in my mail except waiting. My mailbox gets opened and has activity in it several times a day. It's a little dark box, sure, but it isn't exactly spider heaven in there. Yet a spider was in there, not just in the box, but<em> in between</em> the pieces of mail I removed. Waiting. I of course sprang back, dropped all my mail, and stomped on each piece.</p><p>Shortly after, I was sitting in a friend's back lawn enjoying a beer. We weren't there more than two minutes before I saw a huge spider skittering his way through the lawn right near us. I realized that the spider must have been in the area first, and since it was crawling away from us, I let it be. Not five minutes later, another God damned spider was climbing up my bare arm. C'mon spider! Do you really think that tasty insects can be caught in a web somewhere on my shoulder?</p><p>Next, I find this asshole in my shower.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/12/01/what-a-tangled-web-they-weave/img_0084-3/" rel="attachment wp-att-1023"><img style="width: 456px; height: 341px;" class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-1023" title="Tub Widow" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/img_0084.jpg?w=1024" alt="" /></a><br /></p><p>This wasn't a small spider. Here it is in better perspective.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/12/01/what-a-tangled-web-they-weave/img_0085/" rel="attachment wp-att-971"><img style="width: 508px; height: 380px;" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-971" title="Spider in Tub 2" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/img_0085.jpg" alt="" /></a><br /></p><p>Naturally I soaked it in Raid. When it comes to spiders I'm way too much of a pansy to even pick up its corpse with a wad of toilet paper, so after it stopped running and dying I broke it up with a broom handle so it would go down the drain. Oh, I forgot to mention where I previously saw a spider exactly like this one. Just walking across my living room floor the night before. Not hiding in a corner or running along a baseboard, but just crossing my floor in bright light like he lived there. I checked my lease. He wasn't on it. He got a large book dropped on him.</p><p>Then they tried to get me at work. Shortly after the tubspider, one of these creatures was rappelling down the wall of my cubicle quite near me. Another big damn spider. I stood up and tried to figure what to crush it with, and how the hell I was going to crush it without it dropping and running. Of course my first timid thrust with the spine of a 3-ring binder was lame, the spider dropped behind my monitor and I wondered how I could finish the day knowing it was loose somewhere. I tried to be an adult about the situation and went back to work. In my job many papers come to my desk paper-clipped and leave stapled. I have an old Kleenex box on my desk that I toss paper clips into and also reach into whenever I need one. Guess where I found that evil bastard? Just came straight charging out of the box, that's where. Thank God I didn't have my hand in there at the time. It got crushed with the binder. Next day, <em>another</em> of these big sons-of-bitches came crawling along my wall again. It also got crushed with a binder.</p><p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/12/01/what-a-tangled-web-they-weave/img_0115/" rel="attachment wp-att-1028"><img style="width: 550px; height: 412px;" class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-1028" title="Tub Time" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/img_0115.jpg?w=1024" alt="" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Look! Another spider in my bathtub!<br />(Yes, I have cleaned it since then)</span></p><p style="text-align:left;">Sometimes I think my bathroom window exists exclusively so spiders can get in the tub. It's like a dog door for spiders. Spider door.</p><p>Then, they sent some sort of monster after me.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/12/01/what-a-tangled-web-they-weave/img_0113/" rel="attachment wp-att-978"><img style="width: 541px; height: 406px;" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-978" title="Monster" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/img_0113.jpg" alt="" /></a><br /></p><p>Here's a better picture. Make sure you see the whole thing. About half of its horrible body is kind of buried in the web.</p><p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/12/01/what-a-tangled-web-they-weave/img_0112/" rel="attachment wp-att-979"><img style="width: 542px; height: 407px;" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-979" title="Close up" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/img_0112.jpg" alt="" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I'm really praying that the first snow kills this demon.</span></p><p>This thing is <em>fast</em> and it lives not 20 feet from my door. It even has some god-awful funnel web.</p><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/12/01/what-a-tangled-web-they-weave/img_0114/" rel="attachment wp-att-982"><img style="width: 531px; height: 398px;" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-982" title="Funnel" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/img_0114.jpg" alt="" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I think that's a leg in the background. Probably the delivery guy<br />bringing fetal mice for the spider to devour.</span></div><p>I can't even get near this thing to pour bleach on it. It's just waiting like some sort of arachnassassin or arachnommando.</p><p>Next up? Another spider in my mailbox.</p><p>After that? One of those horrid translucent white/yellow things dangling in front of my bathroom mirror, probably waiting to swing into my mouth when I brush my teeth. Then it would lay eggs in my tongue.</p><p>It never seems to end. They've had many failures. But much like Skynet, Pyrrhus, and Ryan Reynolds, they just won't stop.</p><p>And now... now, they aren't fucking around anymore. They've realized that I won't be killed so easily. They sent this for me.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/12/01/what-a-tangled-web-they-weave/img_0116-2/" rel="attachment wp-att-1010"><img style="width: 506px; height: 379px;" class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-1010" title="House Spider" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/img_01161.jpg?w=1024" alt="" /></a><br /></p><p>I assume it has already eaten my neighbors and their children. If I don't come back soon, just torch the house. If I'm still alive, I'm comatose and filled with millions of eggs. And unless you're Nadya Suleman, that's no way to be.</p>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-5696442711980120222011-10-25T17:30:00.002-06:002011-10-25T17:30:00.943-06:00Non-Stop, See-Through Coverage<p>More important news from Aol</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=949" rel="attachment wp-att-949" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=949"><img style="border: 1px solid black;" style="border: 1px solid black;" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-949" title="Alba" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/alba.jpg" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/alba.jpg" width="340" height="262" /></a><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">Previously:<br /><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/09/06/i-knew-she-was-faking-it/" href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/09/06/i-knew-she-was-faking-it/">this </a><br />and <a href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/10/21/all-the-news-thats-fit-to-post-2" href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/10/21/all-the-news-thats-fit-to-post-2">this</a><br /></p>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-5833277507870137052011-10-22T20:43:00.002-06:002011-10-22T20:58:44.427-06:00Between the Acts of Standing and Running<p>Much hoopla has been made over Ernest Hemingway's super-short story:</p><p>For sale. baby shoes. Never worn.</p><p>Less well know is Virginia Woolf's even shorter:</p><p>For sale. Mattress. Slightly shat.<br /></p>It won the Newbery Medal that year.MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-23541391596243841312011-10-21T17:30:00.001-06:002011-10-21T17:30:01.073-06:00Poison Penpal<p>I get made fun of every now and again when people find out I have an Aol e-mail account. It's the account I set up when I got my first computer, which of course came with some free months of America Online. I've just never really stopped using it. I mostly use it for filling out online forms and e-mailing stuff to myself from work. I do also have a Gmail account (fancy!).</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a rel="attachment wp-att-927" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=927"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-927" title="G male" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/g-male.jpg" width="400" height="286" /></a>G-Male<br /></p><p>Since I have this account, I also get to see Aol's homepage all the time. They really do provide great content all the time. There was <a href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/09/06/i-knew-she-was-faking-it/">this</a>. And now this:</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a rel="attachment wp-att-930" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=930"><img style="border: 1px solid black;" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-930" title="Aol poisoned me" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/aolcrop.jpg" width="299" height="241" /></a></p><p style="text-align: left;">Um, what the hell, Aol? Did Aol poison me? I suppose "get" is better than "got" or "are going to get". It's still a little troubling.</p><p style="text-align: left;">"Tonight on America Online (I know it's not a tv show, but bear with me)</p><p style="text-align: left;">"Tonight on America Online! Why we took your underpants! We've also been soaking your coffee filters in an arsenic solution, letting them dry out, and then replacing them in your cupboard!"</p><p style="text-align: left;">More to come.<br /></p>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-20099780982973437152011-10-19T17:30:00.002-06:002011-10-19T17:30:01.112-06:00Pillow Fight<p>God <em>damn</em> it, people who name products. Shouldn't this be easy?</p><p><span class="mceItemHidden">I needed some sort of stuffing for part of my Hallowe'en costume. I thought that using the filling from an inexpensive pillow might be cheaper than buying actual pillow stuffing. I went to <span class="hiddenSpellError">Walmart</span> and headed to their bedding section. Most of the pillows were in the $6 and up range. I didn't really want to spend that much. They also had an <span class="hiddenSpellError">endcap</span> featuring a product for only $2.50. I did like three investigative <span class="hiddenSpellError">walk-bys</span> and stuck my hand inside the plastic before deciding they were, in fact, pillows.</span></p><p>I mean, what the hell is this?</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=910" rel="attachment wp-att-910" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=910"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-910" title="Deep Pockets" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/img_0111.jpg" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/img_0111.jpg" width="584" height="438" /></a><br /></p><p>Yes, you can look at that and say "well clearly that's a pillow". But it could be something else. I don't know, it might be a neatly folded mattress pad, or some sort of bed accessory that I'm totally unfamiliar with. But really that name threw me off. "Deep Pockets"? You know how many pockets this pillow has? Exactly zero. Not a single pocket of any depth. Why the hell did they call a pillow, something that as far as I know <em>never</em> has pockets, Deep Pockets? Sheet sets, mattress pads, mattress covers, and all sorts of other shit that I don't know about has "pockets" at the corners to accommodate a mattress. Why would there be a pocket in a pillow? Even if there was one, the pillow goes inside a pillow case, and the pocket would be useless. What would I keep in there? Perhaps a throat lozenge? Maybe a pre-written thank-you note, a mint, and an RU-486.</p><p>Further agitating me, the packaging does not have the word "pillow" anywhere on it. Nowhere. It tells me all about what the filling is made from, that I can machine wash it, and that the bag is dangerous, but it never bothers to mention that it's a pillow. </p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=913" rel="attachment wp-att-913" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=913"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-913" title="playing-in-the-refrigerator-box" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/playing-in-the-refrigerator-box.jpg" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/playing-in-the-refrigerator-box.jpg" width="373" height="640" /></a><br /></p><p>Even this refrigerator box in this picture I found of some chick in a refrigerator box says "Refrigerator" right on it, and those boxes pretty much always have a refrigerator in them(or the occasional chick). In fact, any box about this size and shape is usually called a refrigerator box. But the refrigerator people still have the courtesy to let you know, just in case.</p><p>The bag did let me know that whatever was inside was indeed "Standard".</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=916" rel="attachment wp-att-916" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=916"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-916" title="Standard" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/standard.jpg" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/standard.jpg" width="252" height="271" /></a><br /></p><p><span class="mceItemHidden">The sign for the end cap was no help either. It just had the <span class="hiddenSpellError">Walmart</span> logo and the price. No description at all.</span></p><p>I suppose maybe "Deep Pockets" is meant to imply wealth and luxury. As if someone might sleep on this pillow and think "Wow! The guy that bought this pillow must have some pretty deep pockets to afford such a fine head cushion! This is <em>nice</em>!"<br /></p>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-78617881057924834242011-10-02T12:30:00.003-06:002011-10-02T12:30:00.320-06:00Sunday Cipher #44 - The Tetanus Racket<p>Oh no! You just woke up, and you're manacled to the wall in some dank pit! That's the last time you party with your 11-year-old niece. Bitch is crazy. How are you going to get unchained from the wall?! Speaking of walls, these ones are closing in! And they have rusty spikes on them! And your tetanus vaccination isn't up to date! Wait! There's a message scrawled on the wall! Maybe there is a way out! But it's in code! Can you figure out the message in time!?</p>Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: J equals B.<p>"YB/ LDKY/ DRFZEYY/ GRZ/ WKAL/ RZ/ EZLKFE/ DBFYE/ BAA/ LDE/ TFBNZX/ SNYL/ YB/ IBN/ GRZ/ ONL/ ORZLY/ BZ/ KL?/ BD,/ IBN/ XFBOOEX/ IBNF/ OEZGKW;/ K'WW/ TFRJ/ KL."/ - GRLDEFKZE/ LDE/ TFERL</p><p>The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer. </p><p>Last week's answer:<br />"'You shall not pass!' Yeah, that's what my rectum tried to say to my first black boyfriend." - Sir Ian McKellen</p>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-9991143864070727332011-10-01T19:30:00.003-06:002011-10-01T19:44:24.614-06:00Dudes and Dogs<p><br /><a rel="attachment wp-att-897" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=897"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-897" title="Kevin" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/kevin1.jpg" width="584" height="438" /></a><br />Kevin &amp; Friends Grooming Dog &amp; Cat Spa. I'm torn on this one.</p><p> On one hand, I don't know Kevin, and who the hell are these friends of his? Just buddies of Kevin's? He could have classed it up more with "Kevin and Associates, LLC" or "Oliver &amp; Company". I suppose "Kevin &amp; Friends" sounded better than "Kevin &amp; Some Dudes I Know". </p><p>I can picture the commercial. "Hey, I'm Kevin. And these are some guys I know. Give us your pet for several hours. These people I met are totally good with pets. It might not be these actual guys here. I reserve the right to let anyone I know pretty well do stuff with your pet. Come in today!"</p><p><span class="mceItemHidden">You can tell Kevin to keep his friends the hell away from my dog.</span></p><p>On the other hand, I'm intrigued. The evidently employ a grooming dog, and I would like to know more about this. Is this a breed of dog I am unfamiliar with that can actually groom other dogs? I wonder if the Groomhound decides on hairstyles for the other dogs on its own, or if Kevin has authority. It may just be a normal service dog that went to school for this.</p><p>I think I'll just go to Tiny &amp; Nacho's Lavandogia.<br /></p>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-58725899690973621962011-09-23T18:29:00.002-06:002011-09-23T18:33:24.627-06:00Dread and Circuses<p>The circus is coming to town!</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a rel="attachment wp-att-879" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=879"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-879" title="untitled" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/untitled.jpg" width="584" height="223" /></a><br /></p><p>Ringling Bros. and Barnum &amp; Bailey Circus is coming to Denver and they are advertising all over town with these billboards.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a rel="attachment wp-att-876" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=876"><img style="width: 777px; height: 584px;" class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-876" title="IMG_0101" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/img_01011.jpg?w=1024" /></a><br /></p><p>Fully Charged! Megawatts of Fun! From the text and the pictures of elephants I have to assume Ringling Brothers is following in the footsteps of that genius inventor Thomas Edison by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_Currents#Edison.27s_publicity_campaign">electrocuting</a> <a title="Topsy" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Topsy_%28elephant%29">elephants</a> nightly.</p><p>For those of you that are unaware, during the so-called "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_Currents">War of Currents</a>" between AC and DC power, Edison electrocuted a number of dogs, cats, cattle, a few horses, and yes, an elephant. Here's a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkBU3aYsf0Q">video</a>.</p><p>And now Ringling Bros. and Barnum &amp; Bailey Circus is doing it live every night! Needless to say, I will be going to the circus. It will be awesome. And before anyone starts complaining about it being animal cruelty, remember that circus folk have to eat too, and I don't think you want them rubbing elbows with you at the lunch counter, now do you? So let them eat their elephant in peace. I can also hear some of you are thinking, "But aren't there only like 100 elephants left in the whole world? Won't this burn up all the elephants we have left?" Of course not. Think about it. There are elephants roaming all over India, doing fine without any supervision. Also, pretty much every zoo everywhere has a couple. Hollywood movie studios rent elephants all the time, so there must be lots of elephants in Southern California. Ringling Bros clearly owns lots of them. They wouldn't burn through their <em>last</em> couple elephants for one awesome tour, so they must have a bunch. See? Plenty of elephants. And besides, these elephants are the <em>property</em> of Ringling Bros. If I feel like electrocuting my ficus(a <em>living</em> plant) no one complains; Ringling Bros should be afforded the same courtesy.</p><p>Perhaps most importantly, the U.S. has fallen behind in circus dominance and frying elephants may give us a little boost in world popularity. All over Europe and Russia they have classic clowning and miming. France has that Cirque du Soleil thing, which is <em>huge</em>. Hell, John C. Reilly even made a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cirque_du_Freak:_The_Vampire%27s_Assistant">movie</a> about it. But the real powerhouse in the field right now is China. It's just one more area where America is losing ground to those yellow reds. I mean, check this out:</p><div style="text-align: center;"><a rel="attachment wp-att-850" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=850"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-850" title="Lion on Horse 1" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/lion-on-horse-1.jpg?w=300" style="border: 1px solid black;" width="300" height="234" /></a><br /></div><p style="text-align: left;"> That's right. It's a fucking <em>lion</em> riding a <em>horse</em>. That's what circuses in China are doing right now. You know how great your kids birthday would be if you took him to see a lion riding a horse? Pretty great.</p><div style="text-align: center;"><a rel="attachment wp-att-851" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=851"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-851" title="Lion on Horse 2" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/lion-on-horse-2.jpg?w=300" width="300" height="252" /></a><br /></div><p style="text-align: left;"> Man, look at that. That lion is loving it. The horse probably is, too. How cool is that? Animal cruelty? Maybe. don't care.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I mean really, in Europe they eat horses. In Africa they eat zebras(I assume) and they're just fancy horses. In America we just run them around in circles, women sniff them and go all wobbly in the knees, and maybe like 40 cowboys ride them at work. Also those horse cops. So this horse being part of an amazing spectacle is likely the best that that horse could have hoped for. And cruel for the lion? I believe we already established that he's loving it. Besides, lions are obsolete.</p><p style="text-align: left;">They also have a tiger.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a rel="attachment wp-att-852" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=852"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-852" title="tiger on horse" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/tiger-on-horse.jpg?w=300" width="300" height="219" /></a><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">It seems to me that we'd be letting the those un-American commies, and by extension the terrorists, win if we <em>didn't</em> electrocute elephants at the circus. We simply can't let relevance in yet another field slip out of America's grasp.</p><p style="text-align: left;">So pop the popcorn, spin the cotton candy, and uncap the conductive jelly! I'm going to the circus!</p>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-31008914349225076572011-09-19T14:59:00.001-06:002011-09-19T14:59:00.545-06:00They're Not Genies for Christ's Sake<p>It would be pretty awesome if a terminally ill child was approached by the Make-A-Wish Foundation and this exchange took place:<br /></p><p><strong><span class="mceItemHidden"><span class="hiddenSpellError">MAWF</span> Guy:</span></strong> Do you want to go to Disney World with Taylor Swift?<br /><strong>Kid:</strong> I had in mind something a little more radical.<br /><strong><span class="mceItemHidden"><span class="hiddenSpellError">MAWF</span> Guy:</span></strong> What... What seems to be the problem?<br /><strong>Kid:</strong> Death.<br /><strong><span class="mceItemHidden"><span class="hiddenSpellError">MAWF</span> Guy:</span></strong> Death. Well, I'm afraid that's a little out of my jurisdiction.<br /><strong>Kid:</strong> I want more life, fucker.</p><p>It wouldn't be very awesome when the kid eventually succumbs to whatever horrible illness he has, but sometimes sacrifices must be made in the name of comedy.</p><p><span class="mceItemHidden">If you were wondering, his name was Bill. They used to call him Billy, but when he got sick his dad told him he was going to have to be brave.They switched to calling him Bill as a constant reminder that he was just as grown-up and just as brave as any other adult. Sometimes when it was only his parents around, his mom would still call him Billy. His dad would always say "It's Bill <span class="hiddenSpellError">now</span> honey. " and she would cry a little. (I'm kidding of course. Children don't die from awful diseases in real life. That would be horrible and no God would let that happen)</span></p><p>Not sure what the hell I'm talking about with that dialogue? It's from<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjbAgwdBaTI" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjbAgwdBaTI"> Blade Runner</a>.</p>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-39392871604525980412011-09-18T12:30:00.002-06:002011-09-18T12:30:01.439-06:00Sunday Cipher #43 - Knight in Shining Fold-Out<p>Uh oh! Your friend's finacée threw him out of the condo after he called her Tuesday Weld in bed! And now he's staying with you! Also, he's not really like one of your best friends. I mean, he's okay to hang out with, but he's kind of an ass. Like, his name is Steve Knight, but he always wants people to call him "Knight" and he makes really shitty jokes about it. He says stuff like "I was the best Knight of that chick's life" and "You mess with the Knight and you get the lance!". So, it's really best if they can patch things up quickly. Look! Someone just slipped a note under the door and Steve is out playing <a href="http://www.thepinballcompany.com/ultimatebigpunchdeluxeboxingmachine.aspx" href="http://www.thepinballcompany.com/ultimatebigpunchdeluxeboxingmachine.aspx">Ultimate Big Punch Deluxe</a>. Do you read it? Of course! Damn! Steve's fiancée wrote it in her native Eastern European moonspeak. Can you translate it and reunite them in time!?!<br /></p><p>Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: F equals W.</p><p>"'HBP/ ALJTT CBD/ IJAA!'/ HKJL,/ DLJD'A/ FLJD/ XH/ WKQDPX/ DWMKG/ DB/ AJH/ DB/ XH/ NMWAD/ ETJQO/ EBHNWMKCG."/ - AMW/ MJC/ XQOKTTKC<br /><br />The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer. </p>Last week's answer:<br />"I'm glad I was born a brunette. Blondes have always seemed so <em>seasonal</em> to me. " - Harry S TrumanMillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-49468908815377349932011-09-14T20:49:00.003-06:002011-09-14T21:14:42.988-06:00Helios' Wrath<p>Bad news, everyone. <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Isaac-Miller-The-Moustache/216176098400836">Isaac Miller (The Moustache)</a> has suffered an accident. I brought it out to a party with me a few weeks ago. A wonderful time was had by all. Many <a href="http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.264693190215793.70784.216176098400836&amp;type=1">pictures</a> were taken with it. Sadly, I left it in my car overnight, and the next day's heat did a number on it.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a rel="attachment wp-att-812" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=812"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-812" title="IMG_0077" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/img_00771.jpg?w=300" width="300" height="225" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">It doesn't look bad from this angle</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a rel="attachment wp-att-815" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=815"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-815" title="IMG_0078" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/img_0078.jpg?w=300" width="300" height="225" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">You can see the warp more here</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a rel="attachment wp-att-816" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=816"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-816" title="IMG_0079" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/img_0079.jpg?w=300" width="300" height="225" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Not good</span></p><p style="text-align: left;">The moustche's handy traveling case did not escape the sun's fury either:</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a rel="attachment wp-att-817" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=817"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-817" title="IMG_0082" alt="" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/img_0082.jpg?w=300" width="300" height="225" /></a></p><p style="text-align: left;">I have high hopes that I can fix it. The case is easy enough to replace. On the plus side, I haven't shaved in about two weeks. It's not like having another child stops the hurt or replaces the lost one that you loved so much, but maybe this ordeal will give me the understanding I need to finish my biography of Rose Kennedy.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I'm open to any and all suggestions on how to fix this. My best idea as of now is to use a cool iron on it through some parchment paper. I'll keep everyone updated until this tragedy has come to a conclusion, one way or the other.</p><p style="text-align: left;">If you're unfamiliar with my moustache, here are some links:<br /><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Isaac-Miller-The-Moustache/216176098400836">Isaac Miller (The Moustache) in Facebook</a><br /><a href="http://teemingswarm.blogspot.com/2011/05/how-to-make-american-moustache.html">The original article on how it was made</a><br /></p>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-57106839149040444582011-09-12T18:48:00.001-06:002011-09-12T19:16:35.796-06:00Sunday Cipher #42 - Herman's Permits<p>Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: Z equals I.<br /><br />"Z'U/ XOFH/ Z/ VFG/ JKNE/ F/ JNSERWWR./ JOKEHRG/ BFLR/ FOVFIG/ GRRURH/ GK/ <em>GRFGKEFO</em>/ WK/ UR."/ - BFNNI/ G/ WNSUFE<br /><br />The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer. </p><p>Last week's answer:<br />"There is no safe way to open a space suit once you're outside. That means I had to bring some of my poop with me in the lander to leave on the moon." - Alan Shepard</p>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-50520402442036358232011-09-06T18:37:00.002-06:002011-09-06T18:44:33.193-06:00Bitches Always Fake It<p>This video was a bit of a letdown.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=784" rel="attachment wp-att-784" href="http://teemingswarm.com/?attachment_id=784"><img style="border: 1px solid black;" style="border: 1px solid black;" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-784" title="Dogfakesdeath" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/dogfakesdeathcrop.jpg" src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/dogfakesdeathcrop.jpg" width="327" height="250" /></a></p><p style="text-align: left;">This dog played dead. That's it. She didn't go sailing and have her boat never return. There was no million dollar insurance policy and a false passport. You don't see video of that dog putting a similar dog's corpse in her house and torching the whole thing.</p>Talk about misleading. Fake its own death?<br />AOL needs to get their shit together.MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-83252339421258318602011-09-04T15:50:00.001-06:002011-09-04T15:57:24.878-06:00Sunday Cipher #41 - Remember to Call Your Mamba<p>Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: T equals F.
<br />
<br />"KAJBJ/ GE/ UZ/ EXTJ/ DXI/ KZ/ ZWJU/ X/ EWXFJ/ ESGK/ ZUFJ/ IZS'BJ/ ZSKEGPJ./ KAXK/ HJXUE/ G/ AXP/ KZ/ OBGUM/ EZHJ/ ZT/ HI/ WZZW/ DGKA/ HJ/ GU/ KAJ/ YXUPJB/ KZ/ YJXCJ/ ZU/ KAJ/ HZZU."/
<br /> - XYXU/ EAJWXBP</p><p>The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer. </p>Last week's answer:
<br />"When I write a song, I really try to picture the car or water park that it will end up advertising." - Sheryl CrowMillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-29505878669770853162011-09-03T15:03:00.001-06:002011-09-03T16:25:48.244-06:00Dirty Silk Sheets<p>I spotted this on the myths portion of <a title="Silk" href="http://silksoymilk.com/" target="_blank" href="http://silksoymilk.com/">Silk</a> <a title="Soy Milk" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soy_milk" target="_blank" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soy_milk">Soy Milk</a>'s website:</p><p style="text-align: center;" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/09/03/where-the-silk-road-intersects-the-cocoa-turnpike/silkcrop/" rel="attachment wp-att-756" href="http://teemingswarm.com/2011/09/03/where-the-silk-road-intersects-the-cocoa-turnpike/silkcrop/"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-756" style="border: 1px solid black;" title="It's not gay if you drink it when the lights are out. And you're drunk." src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/silkcrop.png" alt="It's not gay if you drink it when the lights are out. And you're drunk." src="http://teemingswarm.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/silkcrop.png" style="border: 1px solid black;" width="378" height="205" /></a>
<br /></p><p style="text-align: left;" style="text-align: left;">Really, Silk?
<br />It seems like it should go more like this:</p><p style="text-align: left;" style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);" style="color: #0000ff;">Myth: Consuming soy affects sexual orientation.</span><strong><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" style="color: #000000;">
<br />Reality: </span></strong>Wait what? What are you, twelve? You think drinking soy milk will turn you gay? Seriously?</p><p style="text-align: left;" style="text-align: left;">I know that business is business, and any sale is a good sale, but who is this question directed at? Are there people out there thinking "I'm lactose intolerant and I would still like to enjoy a milky beverage. I've heard about the benefits of soy milk, but I wonder if it will turn me into a queer"?</p><p style="text-align: left;" style="text-align: left;">Including this reassurance on their website doesn't really help the stereotype of vegans and health food junkies(not to mention those lactose intolerants) as limp-wristed nancy boys. In fact, there's even a soy yogurt manufacturer <em>called</em> <a href="http://www.nancysyogurt.com/nancys_products/soy.php" target="_blank" href="http://www.nancysyogurt.com/nancys_products/soy.php">Nancy'</a>s.</p><p style="text-align: left;" style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);" style="color: #0000ff;">Myth: Consuming soy affects sexual orientation.</span>
<br /><strong>Reality:</strong> There is no scientific evidence that soy consumption affects sexual orientation. I mean, we realize lots of our customers are gay, and most of the rest <em>seem</em> gay, <strong></strong>but don't worry, that's totally just how they are. Drinking our fine product won't do that to you. Probably.</p><p style="text-align: left;" style="text-align: left;">Maybe I'm reading this whole thing wrong. Maybe this is aimed at homosexuals who are worried Silk might make them hetero. Maybe it's for people who are looking to be gay, for all the great benefits, but just don't know how. Maybe it's for parents with straight children, who feel that it would behoove their family if at least one of their kids were gay. Like maybe Great-Uncle Thomas left millions of dollars in his will to the first homosexual in the family. Come to think of it, it doesn't say "change" your sexual orientation, just affect it. Like if you drink Silk it will make you bi-curious. Or make you a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_%28BDSM%29" target="_blank" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_%28BDSM%29">dom</a> instead of a<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Submarine" target="_blank" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Submarine"> sub</a>. Or make you an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_Baby" target="_blank" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_Baby">adult baby</a>.</p><p style="text-align: left;" style="text-align: left;">But like it says, there is no <em>scientific</em> evidence that soy consumption affects sexual orientation. All the evidence is anecdotal.</p><p style="text-align: left;" style="text-align: left;"><strong>Note:</strong> When I went back to look for this page again, I couldn't find it through the front door. Seriously, that's not a joke. If you search for it it's available, but it's not on the site map. Perhaps that page is still in development, or I simply am incompetent at navigating web pages. <a href="http://silksoymilk.com/content/myths" target="_blank" href="http://silksoymilk.com/content/myths">Here</a>'s the direct link to the page if you want it.</p>MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-30830889948018919332011-08-17T18:56:00.002-06:002011-08-17T19:02:32.930-06:00C.R.E.A.M.<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-j3Ysw24rz_M/Tkxj5XQ7YGI/AAAAAAAAAa0/MjguxcCzYKY/s1600/IMG_0032.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-j3Ysw24rz_M/Tkxj5XQ7YGI/AAAAAAAAAa0/MjguxcCzYKY/s400/IMG_0032.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5641994270337097826" border="0" /></a>
<br />What do you suppose they call their gift certificates?
<br /></div>
<br />MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-89722683667912759212011-08-14T15:34:00.003-06:002011-08-14T16:19:18.815-06:00Sunday Cipher #40 - The Crocodile's CoverageBelow is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: N equals G.
<br />
<br />"RWYU/ L/ RVLCY/ M/ TZUN,/ L/ VYMKKB/ CVB/ CZ/ ELQCSVY/ CWY/ QMV/ ZV/ RMCYV/ EMVP/ CWMC/ LC/ RLKK/ YUJ/ SE/ MJFYVCLTLUN."/
<br />- TWYVBK/ QVZR
<br />
<br />The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer.
<br />
<br />Last week's answer:
<br />"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was using that expired coupon at Arby's" - St. Thomas Aquinas
<br />MillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-39268444317699139032011-08-07T13:32:00.005-06:002011-08-14T15:33:50.759-06:00Sunday Cipher #39 - The Water in Paris is In-SeineBelow is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: K equals W.
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<br />"CLN/ MANGCNOC/ CAUJQ/ CLN/ SNFUB/ NFNA/ IRBBNS/ KGO/ ROUDM/ CLGC/ NHIUANS/ JPRIPD/ GC/ GAWV'O"/ - OC./ CLPXGO/ GYRUDGO/
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<br />The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer.
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<br />Last month's answer:
<br />"America. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." - King George IIIMillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-195249431867215750.post-79954774921208658622011-07-04T12:30:00.001-06:002011-07-06T21:08:42.012-06:00Sunday Cipher #38 - Longshoremen Drinking Long Islands in Long Island<p>Below is a quote from a famous person encoded with a substitution cipher. Each letter has been swapped for another. Today's hint: G equals V.</p><p>"OBIWHYO./ AFS/ XHKK/ PIGIW/ JHPE/ O/ BFWI/ XWILYZIE/ ZHGI/ FJ/ CYSB/ OPE/ GHKKOHPA."/<br /> - NHPD/ DIFWDI/ HHH</p><p>The first person to e-mail me the correct answer at imillermoth@gmail.com wins a prize! If you would like your prize sent to you, include a mailing address with your answer. </p>Last week's answer:<br />"If I had my druthers, the last thing I'd see in this world would be my hand smacking that smug look off her face." - Aga BojaxhiuMillerMothhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09537275799990993190noreply@blogger.com0