National Lampoon presents Homo Erectus

(2007)

Pretty much of a self-reviewing title.

This would fit in neatly with Sleeper and Love and Death in the category
of "same old Brooklyn guy pictured in a different time and place."
Writer/director/star Adam Rifkin is the Woody-wannabee as a bespectacled
caveman who thinks that human beings could be so much more than
troglodytes. He tries to persuade his fellow tribesmen that they could
climb faster with a ladder or catch more fish with a net, but they reject
those radical progressive ideas in favor of the way they have always
climbed and fished, the way their gods intended. The plot centers around
Cave-Rifkin's love for a pretty cavegirl. He loses her when he is just too
conflicted about clubbing her and carrying her off. As the evolved Rifkin
debates the moral rectitude of that action, his older, handsomer, stronger
brother clubs the dream-girl unconscious, drags her off by the hair, and
claims her as his own.

David Carradine plays Rifkin's father, the leader of the tribe, and Ali
Larter is the cavegirl of Rifkin's dreams. Many familiar character actors
make brief appearances. Gary Busey is in high Busey gear as the leader of
a rival tribe. Tom Arnold is surprisingly funny as a gay caveman. Ron
Jeremy has a line or two as a member of Rifkin's tribe. Talia Shire is in
the cast as well, but must have really needed a paycheck, because she has
little more than a bland cameo as Rifkin's mom.

As in many of Woody Allen's period films, the people in the past era speak
exactly like the people at any current-day Manhattan bar or cocktail
party, and essentially represent modern stereotypes (the handsome
quarterback, the stoners, the crotchety old guy, and so forth) walking
around in a pre-historic setting, like a live action version of The
Flintstones.

It is a watchable comedy in my opinion, but barely so, and it's far too
derivative of early Woody, minus the jazz music. Although Rifkin doesn't
try to mimic Woody's voice or mannerisms, there is no question that he's
playing a Woody role. There's even a classic Woodman scene where Rifkin's
glasses fall off in a fight scene between two tribes, forcing him to crawl
around half-blind, searching for the specs as the battle rages around him.
In fact, it seems like the film could actually have been made in 1970, and
it's almost disorienting to see Ali Larter acting in it because she wasn't
even born by then. You may unconsciously wonder, "Shouldn't it be Angie
Dickinson or Louise Lasser instead?" The film does have a few funny (if
unsubtle) moments, but the whole project is just not thumbprinted with
enough of Rifkin's own identity to make it memorable.

As far as I can see, National Lampoon contributed nothing to the project
except their name.

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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk:
expanded format.

*
Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably
sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.

Valentina Vargas

She bares all three b's in "Street Of No Return" (1989). There is just
nothing like naked horseback riding.

Plus a little more of Valentina seven years
later in "Hellraiser: Bloodline," where she bares the boobs in the sack.

Confessions of a Lap Dancer

(1997)

A continuation of Brainscan's epic-length series on this film. The following
are his notes on this contribution:

Julia Kruis is in two scenes...well, three if you count a brief appearance
lap dancing early in the movie. She has a long, most impressive strip scene,
followed by a gang-bang with three guys who pick her up at the club. The gal is
in maybe 10 minutes of screen time but utters not one word. The triple boffing
scene is particularly bizarre because it does nothing to or for the film. Not
well choreographed and so it is not appealing in the erotic sense and it sure as
shootin' does not add to the story line. I dunno what anyone was thinking when
it comes to this one.

Julia, herself, is something of a conundrum. There were all those DTV erotic
thrillers (two lies for the price of one) and episodes on titty cable shows and
she was more than okay in the looks department but I cannot remember her saying
or doing anything in any of them, even though I know I've capped a movie or two
of hers. Don't know why that's true, only that is true.

Burn Notice

I recorded this accidentally when the TV station changed its programming
without letting me know. However, there is side-boobage and pokies by
Gabrielle Anwar in an episode of the show Burn Notice called False Flag
(2007). It looks like Gabrielle has had some enhancements done.

Frozen with Fear

And speaking of enhancements, we have Bo Derek in Frozen with Fear
(2000). The nudity comes from what looks like a body double's butt.

The Golden Bowl

Only some slight see-through nudity by Uma Thurman in The Golden Bowl (2000),
and a bit of boobage down the front.

Samba Chason

From Brazil we have Samba Chanson aka Samba CanÁ„o (2002). Topless
nudity by

Teuda Bara

and Yara de Novaes

Seduced by a Thief

Sean Young flashes her breasts in Seduced by a Thief (2000).

Dana Barron

and an unknown actress show some pokies.

Stratosphere Girl

Stratosphere Girl (2004) is a European co-production.

ChloŽ Winkel shows some very nice breasts

as does Peggy Jane de Schepper.

Rebecca Palmer

and Tuva Novotny are down to their underwear.

Unveiled

There's some lesbian action in the German movie Unveiled aka Fremde Haut
(2005)

by Anneke Kim Sarnau

and Jasmin Tabatabai.

Insatiable Obsession

Tonight's soft-core is Insatiable Obsession. Plenty of nakedness shown by

There is some nudity in
the trailer
for Abel Ferrara's latest, Go-Go Tales (2007). The guy who
posted this says the topless woman is Justine Mattera. I don't
know. Asia Argento appears in the same trailer, but remains
clothed for what must be a personal record length of time.