February 11, 2009

Lileks tweets — referring, of course, to the Sussex spaniel that won Best in Show at the 133rd Annual Westminster Kennel Club show. A much-needed laugh for me (after doing those 2 death posts in a row).

IN THE COMMENTS: I'm not sure why this fit in the dog post, but there's a lot of talk about what Valentine present a man should get for a woman. It started when Michael H said:

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being 'Punch His Lights Out' and 10 being 'Cut Up His Clothes and Call a Junk Yard Dog Divorce Attorney', how would you rank receiving either of these gifts on Valentines Day?

c) Tea. If it sounds disgusting to the male palate, she will love it. Try 'Vanilla Sleepytime."

d) A subscription to 'Oprah.'

e) All things Jane Austen.

f) Wine.

Remember what I said about the socks being cute. And wool.

ADDED: I've corrected the text above to change "Original George" to "Psychedelic George." I'd mixed up 2 of my Georges — just when I was doing my big "ineffably adorable" compliment. I hope his girlfriend doesn't think it was the other George who got her the cute wool socks. Psychedelic George has only been commenting here since February 5th — under that name at least — and he's really stood out as a great commenter. And I mean no disrespect to Original George.

The spaniel was a generic term used to describe a type of dog. When a litter was born the owner/breeder would decide what use a particular dog or pup was to be put to. Much depended on the size and how muscular the dog turned out to be, the stamina he/she displayed, and the intelligence of the dog. What type of game the dog was to hunt was also a factor. The spaniel could possibly be used for hunting the forests, pointing in high brush, flushing birds out of thickets, or used in marshes for retrieving ducks, geese, etc. So to begin with there were no distinct breeds of spaniel, only the generic description of the type of dog.

The Sussex conformation still follows the traditional field spaniel, we have a collection of antique English hunting dogs etchings and the Sussex, Springer, Setter and Pointers are much as they appear today. The American Cocker has been bred to a different conformation than the English.

The English Cocker Spaniel differs from the American Cocker Spaniel in several areas. The head is shaped with a longer muzzle, flatter head and less prominent eyes. The English Cocker Spaniel is slightly taller, heavier and more solid. The English Cocker Spaniel does not have the profusion of tummy coat and leg furnishing found on the American Cocker Spaniel. They are closer to the Sussex conformation standards.

BTW-Cockers got their name from the type of hunting for which they were bred; flushing woodcocks.

As a Springer owner I'm thrilled that another spaniel won, they are wonderful companion dogs.

This breed likes to hunt for birds in the underbrush, so you do have to have a strong leash when walking outside in case a bird lands anywhere closeby.Their only other desire is to affectionately bond with and accompany their master at all times.The Sussex Spaniel has a little bit shorter legs than an American Cocker Spaniel, hence the nickname here.

If I recall correctly, the terrier that beat my lovely shepherd fave a couple of years ago was a Kerry Blue Terrier. Not my cup of tea at all."

I don't really like terriers either. The secret is that the Boston Terrier isn't actually a terrier. Westminster hasn't posted the results from the "Non-Sporting Group" which includes the Bostons. Interestingly a Boston Terrier has never won Best in Show. One of truly American breeds has never won, yet 4 Standard Poodles and 3 Miniature Poodles have won the title. What kind of communist French faggots are judging this little dog and puppy show?

Since it's a slow day, I'm going to ask the women in the bloggerhood a question about Valentines Day gifts.

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being 'Punch His Lights Out' and 10 being 'Cut Up His Clothes and Call a Junk Yard Dog Divorce Attorney', how would you rank receiving either of these gifts on Valentines Day?

Michael...It's a quandry for sure giving a valentine gift. You start with a romantic card.. got that.. not a humorous card. Then flowers( Roses if available ) and finish her off with any love token like you have listed. Just stay away from kitchen appliances or anything electric or mechanical. Most important is to enjoy her company and let her talk to you about her dreams and whatever she needs to say to you. The victoria's secret stuff wont be required if you do the others.

My dad gave my mom a weed wacker one year for Valentine's Day. She was pissed. How difficult is it for guys to pick an appropriate gift? Get with it straighties.

I got yelled at today from the Animal Police Officer-twice. Once because I was in a park where dogs aren't supposed to be but always are and the second time because they were off leash. She was a big mean dyke who enjoyed wearing her Animal Police Uniform. I wanted to say fuck you you big dyke.

She drove off after my first bitching out and 5 minutes later she comes back and bitches at me again as I am on my way home. She actually hid behind a tree. How pathetic.

"I love all dogs though. Much better than people. I don't care for people much."

And vice-versa.

"I got yelled at today from the Animal Police Officer-twice. Once because I was in a park where dogs aren't supposed to be but always are and the second time because they were off leash."

Who lets their "rare" and "expensive" dogs, especially medium-large size dogs, run around a New York City park off of their leashes? She probably yelled at you because your ugly dogs were scaring the children.

Hmmm... which park were you in? I can't think of any parks where a conscientious dog owner would let their dog off the leash, except for maybe Central Park and I doubt you were up there.

I am not telling where I was Palladian. It is my secret garden. If I tell you you will come hunt me down.

The only bad thing about the rare clumbers is that their coat gets really long around their butt and sometimes when pooping the poop gets caught in the hair and I have to dig it out.

I haven't had sex in three weeks. I read in the daily beast that people are not having as much sex because of the economy. This has to be the worst possible outcome of the economic collapse. People with no jobs and out of their houses pale in comparison to people not having sex. Absolutely Devastating. I am devastated I tell you.

"I haven't had sex in three weeks. I read in the daily beast that people are not having as much sex because of the economy. This has to be the worst possible outcome of the economic collapse. People with no jobs and out of their houses pale in comparison to people not having sex."

Haha. Sorry your well is drying up. Back here in reality people fuck more when things get bad and desperate and scary. Maybe it's not the economy that's causing your sexual problems. Maybe it's because people are finding you bad, desperate and scary.

A degree of horniness is good, but not if the gift is seen as a low-effort sexual quid pro quo.

If you're going to buy lingerie for Pete's sake skip the Victoria Secret tat and spring for the handmade luxe of LaPerla or Janet Reger.

You really cannot go wrong with two dozen long stem red roses delivered by the very best florist in town, not 1800flowers, a yellow pages FTD shop or roadside/supermarket blooms. This may give you sticker shock coz they stick it to you on St. Val's Day for sure.

A beribboned box of the very best imported chocolates is also acceptable, the point being it should be something ultra luxurious that we would not buy or indulge in ourselves.

Oh don't forget a greeting card the ones you have to go to the Hallmark shop and look like a dork to buy, we love 'em. Big demerits for supermarket cards and flowers.

Most of us hate cheesy dial-gifts...of course one size does not fit all and a stuffed bear may be just the thing for your sweetie.

On the whole, I think it's rather funny. (Listen carefully to the Orwellian indoctrination in the background.)

Rather than infantilize and subjugate men, however, I think the ad is just trying legitimize buying jewelry at JC Penny.

As for those ubiquitous Vermont TB and Pajamagram ads, same thing. They seem targeted at simpletons who will think "oh, that's what I need to captivate one of those alien female creatures." Notice the hokey shit the PJ-gram comes with, and the availability of "all that spa stuff women like."

In the early 80's, my parents' bank was giving away stuffed bears if you opened an account (left over from the boycotted Moscow Olympics?). My mother went to roll over a CD, but they wouldn't give her a bear, so she said, rather loudly in the crowded bank, "Ten thousand dollars and I don't get a bear?"They gave her two.

Lileks does not post here - first, this is Wisconson-centric, he ia a Minnesota type, and few people here post with as many typos as one sees on his site. Don't get me wrong, I like his writing, a lot, but he needs a proofreader and someone to fix all the dead links on his site. Not a well made blog.

Stump's actual name is Champion Clussexx Three D Grinchy Glee. Typically, show dogs are given a "call name" that is some form of their registration name, but there's not much you can come up with from that one, so Stump it is! I was rooting for him simply because he was so old, yet in such amazing shape.My Mom is a top breeder of toy poodles, and she wasn't impressed with the standard poodle that made the final round this year...he kept pulling his head back unnaturally, and his front legs seemed unusually thin. Remember, a dog wins by most closely matching (in the judges' opinion) a written physical standard for the breed held by the AKC. The standard is identical for Standard, Miniature and Toy Poodles...the only difference is size.

Yeah, I like pugs quite a bit too, though having been around a pug who had a problem with his "anal sacs" needing frequent "expression", I can't say I'd ever want one. I like their old-fashioned name: mops.

Those were beautiful dogs pictured in those links, Palladian. And funny about the "expressions"! I had a friend with two pugs, and her kids would each grab one and hold them under their arms backwards and...oh, I'm not sure I want to finish this story. :)

While watching the USA v MEX qualifier on ESPN2 just now, one of the commentators said, "We were blown in the stadium".

I immediately thought of Titus, sounds like something he would say, but would he want to be blown by someone there cheering for USA or Mexico?

Enquiring minds want to know.

(and the commentator was referring to the 25+ mph wind gusts, not oral copulation)

As far as Stump goes, nobody here's commented on his age yet. At 10 years, he's the oldest Best in Show in Westminster history, that's pretty notable (and he won his group back in 2004, so he's previously had success at that show).

We've always had used dogs. Golden retrievers, labs, shepherd mixes, etc. We look for ads posted by people who can't keep their dogs due to allergies, kids, landlord, moving, etc., and adopt those dogs so they don't wind up at the pound.

They sometimes arrive with medical needs, but by and large, they have been wonderful pets.

I believe some could understand English, but just wouldn't speak it in order to frustrate me.

Re: Valentines' Day gifts, I apologize for the hijack. I was reading a note from one of my nieces, single, who has renamed Valentines Day S.A.D., for Singles Awareness Day, and the question about whether any woman would want those cheesy gifts popped out.

Good grief Michael, if it's only your neice, just get her some Gift box of Wisconsin Cheeses. If that's not cheesey enough a gift, then get her a Gift Card to the new Sonic Drive-in, and directions to see the new Zen Roofed tourist attraction in The Elegant Section of Madison. But tell her watch out for a blonde lady with a fish eye camera, or she too will become famous.

Is Valentine's Day a strictly one way deal, all gifts go from male to female and it's up to the male to determine with precision what pleases the female, the more expensive and indulgent the better? Wut up widat?

I told my husband don't you dare give me a stupid teddy bear and I have plenty of pajamas.

I have antique and collectible jewelry and the new stuff that would really want is too expensive. Don't give me flowers either. They are such a waste of money. Usually they don't last long and begin wilting the minute you receive them. A live plant for my office is a nice idea. Functional and will last.

Candy?.... maybe. See's candy, Divinity Puffs .... yum.

Best Valentines ideas, for cranky me? A card with a heartfelt handwritten note. Make a special dinner or surprise me with a dinner out at a great restaurant that makes something I wouldn't normally cook for myself.

Valentines day is such a crock. Really, who needs a designated day to say I love you and appreciate you. That's something you should do every day.

As to the dog. Don't know the name of the breed, but I really like that little pug dog that was an alien in Men in Black. Little dog with a BIG attitude. SO cute.

Agreed, DBQ. If you're romancing me just because the calendar or some commercial told you do it, it's complete bullshit. It means absolutely nothing. Why bother?

Besides, I refuse to be roped in to accepting romance on an annual basis.

Guys all think Valentine's Day is a big con on them but it's the exact opposite. Hallmark and FTD have managed to con women into a.) believing it's normal to have to wait a year for a loving gesture and b.) accepting compulsory bullshit gestures as the real deal. Valentine's Day cons us all!

I suppose valentines day is now overdone here. So what do us guys get our main squeeze for Mardi Gras? all of what she is planning to give up for 40 days, I suppose. We can only hope that's not us due to her bad experience with our Valentine's gift.I have to say that Wool Socks is a new one on me. Was that a joke?

Chip - It's for sure a one way deal. Attempts at reversing the polarity can result in cataclysmic celibacy.

Noooo, St. Val's Day should be reciprocal, where is it written that the day's tokens of love are only passed to be from one partner to the other. Love needs to be tended and encouraged, especially with our busy schedules and distractions.

Sorry, but I don't get the attitude ladies, why not make it a night of mutual pleasure?

My guy will find waiting; freshed cracked Dungeness crab and Cristal on ice, a scented jacuzzi, red satin sheets and a stack of special IOU's handwritten on heart-shaped pink cards, sealed with a red lip print and tied with ribbon to be redeemed at will.

One day when a fav dinner or favor is wanted an IOU will be presented and honored, no matter my schedule, mood or inclination. He hit me with one that was over twenty-five years old recently, it made my day, really.

He will not be late or begrudging, I assure you and this will be our 44th Valentine's Day.

What I don't see are ads for Craftsman Toolagram, or WaxYourCara Gram. The ads lead to the conclusion that men are such utter dolts that they need annual reminders, while women never ever need a reminder. Not true in either case.