SoB - I would, but since this is borderline offensive, suggests that the highly erudite and well spoken Salmond, and presumably all Scots, speak a made-up language, I won't.

Titus, I know you think you are the upholder of the English language, and I know you also think you are funnier than some of the genuinely talented writers on this site, but this is lazy, puerile and shows your ignorance.

And you, dear Editor, I'm disappointed in you for encouraging such utter tripe.

When even the mild-mannered and lovely allmyownstunts is compelled to comment, then you know it's bad.

By all means everyone, the whole independence issue is ripe for satirising, but please, can we move on from the tired same old, same old?

There's so many more aspects that can be mocked than just the usual accent, diet, alcohol.
I will, and have, happily awarded stars and have praised those few who have taken an entirely different angle, I positively welcome new angles, but make sure that it doesn't just come over as condescending repetition of worn-thin cliches.

Obviously, I'm far too poor a writer to attempt it, but there's bound to be someone here who can do it justice?

There's such a huge variety of accents in the UK, probably more than anywhere else; we're famous for taking the piss out of each other for it. My family's from Yorkshire, and those who've moved further afield, including me, get stick all the time!

Just yesterday a South African friend in work told me that 'people from Yorkshire don't speak properly'. I don't think it's just confined to Scotland. Not that you were saying that, but I'm sure Titus wasn't either

AAA - What is a deep-fried 'mars bar out of context' - is that like having one for breakfast?

Guilty as charged on song lyrics, but that bloody abominable D-ream song heralded the Blair Era with all the New Labour politicians head-bopping in a toe-curling scene that still has me traumatised. <defiant mode>

On your recommendation I'll give Sydney a go Jeni, I know you wouldn't lead me on in any way. First, though, I have to finish listening to me pan pipes plays the 60s, 70s, and 80s collections. Busy day.