Ah yes, it's that New Year's craziness that doctors and staff love so much.

No one has correct insurance info, everybody wants their scripts moved to a new mail-order source, people want claims back-dated to last year, and everyone's stressed to the max from too much family and too much booze.

"But before you come down here, tell the doctor to fire you and hire someone who can drive a stick, so they can run some errands for me while I'm at my appointment. By the way, I assume this means I don't have to pay for today."

Mary must have the patience of Job. I am so glad I work for a researcher, because if I worked for a surgeon or general practice and had to deal with this plus additional crazy, I would practice my handgun training at work. Geez!

But it was funny. Depending on the car and patient, I may have actually taken him up on his offer if he would sit at my desk and answer the phone.

Wow, now why didn't I think to ask the receptionist to come sit in my car last time I went to my oncologists? Makes much more sence than circling the parking lot to see if anyone will vacate a spot. I finally called to explain why I was late and that I'd be parking over at the hospital across the street and walk over...see, other people are much more clever than I am.

Dr. Grumpy, have you ever considered recording all calls for quality assurance? I'd love to hear the voices that go along with some of this stuff!

It's not expensive to do, either. About seven years ago, when I was trying to prove some nasty stuff the ex had been saying to me and my kids, I bought a phone recording device from Radio Shack for I believe less than $50, which I then hook up to a digital recorder.

But you share so much funny stuff with us in writing already, going to any expense isn't needed. Just a suggestion if you happen to have the means to do it and provide a few more laughs for those of us who need them.

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

Singing Foo!

Have Dr. Grumpy delivered automatically to your Kindle for only 99 cents a month! Sign up here!

Dr. Grumpy is for hire! Need an article written (humorous, medical, or otherwise) or want to commission a genuine Grumpy piece for your newspaper/magazine/toilet paper roll? Contact me to discuss subjects. You can reach me at the email address below, or through my Linked-In profile.

Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.