i feel like the yeah that's the guy. unstable in all his ways. (sometimes) i'll try to make it quick and will do my part by praying through. Seems like God has been working so we'll see.

Question: Problem..whatever...

late aug. a vet told me my 11 yr old lab had cancer. i had my pastor annoint her with oil and some of us prayed and so far my dog is holding her own and i have her on a good diet and she's in God's loving hand.

I'm all alone up here in alaska, and i just freaked out when i heard the news. next day, called my dad telling him I think i may want to come home. I'm 50, and my dad isn't getting younger and he doesn't have any family in calif. I can tell he wish i was there year round but he doesn't come out to say it for pride. I wish we could communicate closer in depth, but it's just the way the relationship is.

I hate the hot weather of los banos but i'm there to be near my dad and i think i would be reletively happy back in calif, but without a boat to fish, life would be pretty boring but fur duck hunting.

i made my flight reservations and someone is hauling my truck from ak to ca for only 1,400 with my belongings.

I was going to move anyway at the end of sept. but when i heard of this news on my dog, it shook me up as the only thing i could think of is i wouldn't want to bury my dog in alaska for some reason. I'm from calif, my dog is and i wanted to bury her at our duck club.

now, i'm kind of regrouping and facing this challenge that hey..dogs die. we all die. deal with it and move on. I also have been still looking for specific rentals in another part of my state and think i found one but need to go look at it which is about a 4 hr drive but think i'll fly and then rent a car.

I don't want to disapoint my dad by telling him I might change my mind and stay in aK, but need to make a decision because i'm on a section 8 housing voucher and i already told my local housing auth. that i'm moving back to calif. I could still change my mind about this as i don't meet with them until this next wed on the 19th.

my 412.00 ow plane ticket is non-refundable. i hate it when i'm confused. i hate to give up alaska for a rot hole state of calif but my dad should mean more to me than a log cabin. He can get around fine and everything, it's just that now that i've been up here since '04, i've only seen him once and that was last duck season.

what am i going to do all summer long in 100 plus heat of the central valley? While that state is being over run by rotten law makers and illegals? and every other no good vice. Alaska will always be here. I only have 1 dad and it would be nice to be near him. I've never lived in his city of los banos. this will be the first time sinking in in the san joaquin valley. better bring me an igloo to cool off in during summer time but it would melt sure shootin.