Sakurai Prime Suspect in MVG Sandstorm Sabotage

— April 21, 2015

After an exhaustive two-day investigation, MVG authorities have concluded that Super Smash Bros series creator Masahiro Sakurai was responsible for the power outage during the MVG Sandstorm tournament in the third game of the Grand Finals between Adam “Armada” Lindgren and Weston “Westballz” Dennis.

Sources say Sakurai, while dressed as Zero Suit Samus from Smash 4, was able to roll behind event security personnel and unplug the GameCube on which the match was being played. Many speculate that Sakurai’s actions were motivated by jealousy toward Melee receiving more stream viewers than his newest game, Smash 4.

“We have reason to believe that all problems that occurred at MVG Sandstorm were due to Sakurai’s sabotage,” said one MVG official who referred to himself as “totally not Triforce.”

He then produced a list of allegations recorded on the back of a receipt for seven cans of Chef Boyardee cheese ravioli:

1. Sakurai attempted to sabotage the setup that HungryBox and Westballz were playing on, forcing MVG to switch to a “Sakurai-proof” TV with a more mechanically difficult remote control