Based on my last post, I'm obviously drinking something now. Finally found some Lagunitas Sucks. Got the second to last six pack from the fancy cheese, wine and craft brew place in town. I should drop by there more often. They're getting beers nobody else is getting around here. Will be back soon to pick up a six pack of Zombie Dust. Nobody else carries that around here either.

Back to Sucks. Who knew this stuff was just under 8% ABV? It tastes like 9%. It is so thick and deeply satisfying. I asked my buddy Will who is the cheese monger there if Sucks was worth aging. "Hell no. Not enough alcohol or hops. Drink it right away or it will turn to syrup." No argument there. Most of the way through a six pack. If Will was telling the truth, it will be worthless by tomorrow.

Might go back there tomorrow night to pick up some Zombie Dust, and because the other cheese monger is really hot. She and Will used to work together at Whole Foods. She must have been 16 when I first saw her stocking produce six or seven years ago. Surely she's old enough and she hangs out at Poor Phills to drink fine craft beers with all the guys. She actually remembered me and asked me my name. I also remembered her name, but I'm not going to share it because one of you might live near by and try to steal her heart before I do.

Then again, I'll probably find my wedding ring which I misplaced last night at the dojo where we are forbidden from wearing jewelry when we go on the mat. I'll find it and put it back on in the morning. When I go back to get my Zombie Dust, Ariana will no doubt notice my ring and it will break her little heart that the creepy 55 year-old bald dude fawning over her last night is married.

Damn! I revealed her name. But forget you read it here. She's mine, all mine.

Okay, I know this is a beer thread, but it's my beer thread. If you can't digress on a beer thread, where can you digress? I'm going out to my back porch to get another Sucks before it goes bad.

I should probably log off now. Bad enough that I've admitted an adulterous streak. I might actually start misspelling.

Believe it or not, I'd only had two when I made that post and I only cheated "in my heart." Been loyal to my wife for all 23 years of our marriage.

I write all day long for a living, most of it very disciplined and restrained. When I get home, I cut loose. It's either exaggerated accounts of mundane events, bizarre observational humor or good natured jabs at other posters. Sometimes I'll settle down and write honest appraisals of the beer I'm drinking. It's all very cathartic. I try not to insult anyone, but I can see how some of the stuff I write might be taken the wrong way. (I abhor emoticons.)

Ragging on Shock Top is an entirely different agenda. I used to work for Anheuser Busch's ad agency. I know their game, even went to their "Beer School." Their own brewmasters privately admit to mass marketing hop and malt flavored sewage.

FWIW, the third Sucks wasn't that great. Thought it would be a more sessionable beer, but it wasn't. The first two were awesome. On reflection, Zombie Dust is a better beer. I let myself get caught up in the scarcity thing, and the recommendation of the cute girl behind the cheese counter. Next time I go back, I'm getting Zombie Dust and cheese. Lots of cheese. What kind? Whatever she recommends.

Never seen those DFH 75 bottles. Nice label. Definitely John Langford's work. He did the bottle caps plus the label illustrations on several DFH beers, most notably Burton Baton. He's quite the painter, doing primitive style portraits of American Country and Western Artists. He's also a bad ass singer, songwriter and guitar player. He's the front man in four or five different bands, The Mekons, The Waco Brothers, The Three Johns and The Pine Valley Cosmonauts. He also records as a solo artist. He pretty much runs Bloodshot records. He's also a playwright.