2 Open Letters: Person Who Found/Stole My Wallet, and Postperson Who Addresses Packages

Dear Person Who Found/Stole My Wallet,
I was amazed and delighted to open the letter package and find my little homemade wallet pictured here, and so you saved me a tedious trip to the DMV web site to re-order a new license. An errand that I was strangely looking forward to in an effort to improve my photo like Family Ties’ Mallory. The downer was that you took my MUNI pass and cash. Do you think that it was the just reward, 6 days of joyriding cable cars? So it’s a mixed feeling. Glad I have it, but I think you’re greedy. Especially since it’s about two weeks since I lost it and I’m pretty resigned to the fact that it’s gone. WellsFargo is faster than you + postal service in getting me my bank cards.
With mixed regards,
Anna
To Post-person Who Addresses Letters,

Perhaps putting a “found wallet” note on the envelope is not a wise idea. Also, requiring ID to receive your ID, also not too great. What did impress me enough to write you a letter, though, is your cool curly handwriting. It reminds me of my grandmother’s. Large loops and a nice solid black ink pen not one of those lame ballpoint ones. And it’s written, not computer-generated. You included my middle name which is, gasp!, just what my G’ma did too. From my Idiot’s Guide to Graphology, I think you’ve got high ambitions (T’s are crossed very high) that are probably stifled in this job, or you have a very impressive creative hobby that you have high hopes for. Your “i”‘s are dashed meaning you are frequently hurried in this bureaucratic job. Your small d’s are full, which also show a large sense of religious creativity. So you’re a watercolorist I think, thwarted in your day-job, who dreams of a more heavenly world. I’m thinking the handwriting looks like something taught in the 40s, so you’re probably in your late 70s?

So why did I have to pay $1.75 to retrieve a wallet that was dropped in a mailbox two blocks from the post office? Hmmm.

11 Comments so far

I’m neither the guy who stole your wallet nor the guy who found it, but I think it’s possible that the two roles are being played by different people.

Low-life scum steals your wallet, removes the cash and muni card and then discards it in the nearest gutter/trash can/pee-soaked doorway.

Along comes the good samaritan/opportunist and picks up the wallet. Realizing that all the valuable stuff is missing, he decides to do the honorable thing and return the wallet. He is in no way responsible for the missing goods.

Perhaps the timeline is reversed. The GS finds the wallet with the cash intact, doesn’t steal it (for reasons unknown) and drops it in a letter box. Some time later, the LLS (wearing a blue uniform for this scene) lightens the wallet before passing it on to you.

In either of these scenarios, it would certainly be a stretch to call the GS character “greedy”.

true- and initially i thought I’d just dropped the wallet accidentally, meaning it was just a “found” scenario, and yes, could have been someone pilfered the cash, and another person dropped it in the mailbox.

Geeze: yeah, I know I sound petty, but when it happens to you… and don’t get me wrong, I have mixed feelings about it. Actually my DL scenario took a few days, not weeks. And after travelling around the last few weeks in other states, I adore MUNI.

Funny you think it’s so improbably that someone would pocket the cash, and be the same person who dropped it in a mailbox. I’ve known folks who did that, thinking it was a reward in advance.

you could easily re-spin this as a positive story. someone took the time to make sure your wallet got back to you. that was sweet of them. maybe they felt bad for you since there was no money or MUNI pass in there. ha ha ha.

regardless i’d keep an eye on your bank accounts and credit report and make sure there’s no funny business.

You know why my mama used to get on my case when I lost things? Because those things cost her money and they were gone. Forever. That, my dear, is how the world works. Sucks, huh?

Now, when things come back to you, the world is somehow out of wack, because See Above. When you lose a wallet and that wallet is returned to you, that is a day to celebrate, not to complain or gripe. Want to keep your cash? Don’t lose it. That’s what my mama used to say to me; that’s what I’ll say to you.

Anna, I can empathize. I had my wallet stolen two weeks ago. I certainly would like to get it back but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Still, it was interesting finding out what the person bought with my check card: sporting goods, groceries, gas, a chainsaw, pool chemicals, crickets and a bearded dragon. All purchased in the hour before my card was deactivated and despite the card having “See ID” written on the back.

wow- once my credit was stolen off of a Fed Ex package and the woman bought size 20 skirts and tops, for work I’m guessing, and (d’oh!) shipped to a shipping address somewhere in the DC area. It was easy for the fraud department to crack down on her. Kind of a practical spending spree.