Is this how a true friend should treat you?

Hi-I'd really value some opinions on this as i'm confused.

I have a friend who I have known for over 15 years, she has always been a bit selfish and self-centered but I have always put this down to her being her and put up with the things she says and does but now i'm beginning to wonder if she is a real friend or not-these are just a few examples of how she is:-

There are often times when we arrange to meet for a walk or coffee etc but quite often I will get a text the day before to say 'I wont be coming round because i've got another friend coming to see me'-this makes me feel used

Last year we had arranged to take the kids to a local farm park one sunday, then she said she would rather go on the saturday, I said we couldnt go as we had other plans she said ok we will keep it to the sunday, then on the saturday morning I get a text saying 'I dont want to go on the sunday so we (her family) will be going today'

Then this easter holiday we had arranged for our sons to play and had set a date, I get a text a few days before to say 'Sam wont be coming round now as he has another friend coming instead but if it gets cancelled i'll let you know'. We had also arranged to go to the zoo on easter sunday, I got a text on saturday afternoon to say 'Sam has had three very busy days and is very tired so we wont be going tomorrow now'-my son cried for 15 minutes when he found out his friend wasnt coming.

I'm just very confused about this friendship, I am quite shy and dont have many friends so I suppose I've put up with this because of my shyness, but recently I have made friends with another mum and she is the most kindest person I know and I also know she would never do this to me.

How would you feel if this was you? Am I just being a bit over-sensitive?

sorry to be blunt but she sounds like a right cow!!! she is using you hun. to text you and say we wont be coming as someone else is coming over now' is just incredible!!!!!! i used to have a mate like this. i was ok to be with, but if she got a better offer, thats it she was off!! incredibly frustrating! you sound like you are a good friend and your new mate might be the right friend to have x

Your not bein oversensitive at all hun! I know exactly how you feel as have been there myself. Its so hard when you are always the one making plans and bein let down.

I now find that if a friend does this more than twice I refuse to make plans with them as was sick of altering my life for them and then they dont turn up! Really p'eed me off!!!

Stay friends with this other mum and dont bother contacting the original one and see what happens bet she doesnt contact you for ages. Or do the same with her as she has done to you!? That feels nice for a change to be the one letting someone else down. But if ya like me you wont be able to do it!!! lol xxxxxxxxxx

You sound quite like me hun, I hate being late for things and hate letting people down etc so it really annoys me when people are late or change plans or let me know when we have arranged things.

This friend sounds like she is using you, maybe because you have been friends for so long and have put up with her and her ways she sees you more like family and thinks you don't mind being second best and being let down by her which is why she continues to do it.

You will probably be a bit embarrassed bringing this up with her but it might do you good to let her know how you feel, she might not realise her negative ways. Alternativeley you could just leave it and focus on your new friend.

Im sorry that your "friend" is treating you so badly, personally I have been here before with a "friend" who used to text me and then they would text an hour before arriving and say "oh sorry, cant make it today" blah blah blah. Its my kids i feel sorry for when they do this because we tell them that they are coming round to play and then we have to explain that they arnt anymore and then they get upset.

If i was you I would stick with the new mum you have met, someone you can rely on. xxxx

She's not a good friend. You deserve better, it is affecting your son now and it's not fair.
If you aren't good with confrontation then perhaps take some time out from her and ignore her for abit.
However, i do think she needs to be told.
You sound like you can't take much more rubbish from her.

hmmm...she sounds extremely selfish and seems to be making every excuse under the sun, what a user, i wouldnt even bother making plans with her again. if its now affecting your children i would just say/text "i would prefer it if you didnt make plans with me if your just going to change your mind and pick and choose what friend you want around when we had already made plans, my son is very upset he didnt get to play with sam too, he was really looking forward to it and i feel very used. why did you do that to us? i have had to let my son down and have him crying, its not on, i dont even mind you doing this to me but i do mind when you do this to my son." and just see what she replies....xxx hugs hun

i think if you dont want to get into a confrontation, just do reverse pyschology and play her at her own game, she wont like it and its less likely to make her huff, well she will be but in private lol, have you got any other friends you can cancel her off for. LOL. xxxx

i think if you dont want to get into a confrontation, just do reverse pyschology and play her at her own game, she wont like it and its less likely to make her huff, well she will be but in private lol, have you got any other friends you can cancel her off for. LOL. xxxx

exactly what i was going to say. People who do this usually hate it done back to them but they cant say anything, because they know why you're doing it!!!!

Im not good with confrontation either

I'm also not good with toxic selfish people! I would just loose her number and not return her phone calls...ever again! That is not a friend, friends are there for each other and do not let each other down, thats like friends 101!
Ditch the cow,you dont need her in your life.