Domestic Discipline

From:
fncmullin

To: Lisa2273

Posted: Mar-19 11:32 AM (182 of 259)

There were a number of replies that IÂ posted to people who said flat out that this type of relationship wouldn't work for them. However, they all also managed to refrain form 'jokes' like Theresa's and from offering comments on the state of my potential mental illness. The two strongest opinions offered did not and that's what I reacted to.Â

Â All I asked was for chambette to consider that not everyone who chooses a life like this has a mental illness. Which she did. I happen to find commenting on the potential of another person's mental illness rude- whether or not you know that person. In real life that would be considered malicious gossip.

You're absolutely correct, most people weren't the least bit disrespectful. Most people were curious or at least not rude in their disagreement. I've said before that I'm happy to talk to people who disagree with me as long as they remain polite/respectful. I feel the same way when it comes to political or religious discussion and disagreement, too. For example- I'm happy to laugh at a funny Jew joke, I will call someone on an anti-Semitic or rude joke.

There were a number of replies that IÂ posted to people who said flat out that this type of relationship wouldn't work for them. However, they all also managed to refrain form 'jokes' like Theresa's and from offering comments on the state of my potential mental illness. The two strongest opinions offered did not and that's what I reacted to.Â

Â All I asked was for chambette to consider that not everyone who chooses a life like this has a mental illness. Which she did. I happen to find commenting on the potential of another person's mental illness rude- whether or not you know that person. In real life that would be considered malicious gossip.

You're absolutely correct, most people weren't the least bit disrespectful. Most people were curious or at least not rude in their disagreement. I've said before that I'm happy to talk to people who disagree with me as long as they remain polite/respectful. I feel the same way when it comes to political or religious discussion and disagreement, too. For example- I'm happy to laugh at a funny Jew joke, I will call someone on an anti-Semitic or rude joke.

I have a few questions....not trying to be rude, and if it comes across that way, sorry in advance.....I suck at being tactful. It seems to me that, in order to be happy and secure in your relationship, you need some sort of parental-like discipline, to surrender control over to someone. I'm curious, what do you think causes that need? Have you always needed it? Do you use self-imposed discipline when your husband's not home? How did you discover this sort of relationship? If you woke up tomorrow and told your husband "Yeah, you know what, I don't want to do this anymore" would it just stop? If you think a punishment if overbaord can you tell him "Not gonna happen, find a new one."? How much control do you have and how much does he have? Does it ever get uncomfortable for you? What is a sexual infraction?Sorry, I have a lot of questions.......

I have a few questions....not trying to be rude, and if it comes across that way, sorry in advance.....I suck at being tactful. It seems to me that, in order to be happy and secure in your relationship, you need some sort of parental-like discipline, to surrender control over to someone. I'm curious, what do you think causes that need? Have you always needed it? Do you use self-imposed discipline when your husband's not home? How did you discover this sort of relationship? If you woke up tomorrow and told your husband "Yeah, you know what, I don't want to do this anymore" would it just stop? If you think a punishment if overbaord can you tell him "Not gonna happen, find a new one."? How much control do you have and how much does he have? Does it ever get uncomfortable for you? What is a sexual infraction?Sorry, I have a lot of questions.......

"I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine." -John Galt's Oath

"Mr. Rearden, if you saw the Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort, the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders, what would you tell him to do?"- Fransisco d'Aconia "I.....don't know. What could he do? What would you tell him?" -Hank Rearden "To shrug." -Fransisco d'Aconia

From:
fncmullin

To: callmegoddess4613

Posted: Mar-19 03:03 PM (185 of 259)

I'll try to answer them the best I can. And I've already said I'm happy to indulge people's curiosity. :-) So ask away. My answers are sort of in the order you asked them. If i missed something or you'd like more clarification let me know.

I can be happy and secure in a relationship without any form of discipline or D/s, etc. but I much prefer a relationship with it. I like to be able to surrender that control and power because I trust someone enough not to abuse it. I don't know what causes the need or desire in some people and not in others. I haven't studied psychology extensively at all, let alone the psychology of kinksters. I function best in relation to others, part of that is a desire to serve my husband. I don't think it would work for me with someone else. I could probably be a bedroom submissive game player but not in real, everyday life.Â

I had to be very disciplined as a child and young adult because of the life I led. I played 3 sports and competed at a national level in two of them and I was still expected to do well in school. My life was very structured and I thrived in that kind of environment. There's no way I could've done what I wanted at the level I wanted without serious commitment, discipline and structure.

I use some self-imposed discipline when he's away for an extended period of time. I plan my schedule very carefully around work, errands, time for myself, time with friends, and the things he still expects of me regardless of whether or not he's home. Most of my time is mine to do with as I please when he's not around. Our home still has to be run and I still have to go to work and pay bills, etc.

We came to it through some fun sex and then research. Talked about it and decided we'd give it a try. Turns out it worked really well for us.

If I suddenly decided I didn't want to do it anymore- mostly he'd want to find out why. The same would be true if the situation were reversed. We have ups and downs & we're not totally in sync all the time. Those conversations have happened in the past and we've both worked through our "blocks." Usually it's because of something else in our lives not as a direct result of not wanting or wanting control.

I've actually never felt that a punishment was overboard or wrong- he's pretty careful about that. I can say there's never been one I've looked forward to but in the end they make me feel better not worse.

He has quite a lot of control, probably more than most people would be comfortable with me sharing. I almost exclusively wear skirts anymore for a combination of reasons (religious reasons and otherwise) but bottom line is that he prefers them. I don't buy clothing that I don't think he'll like and if he really hates it I usually end up taking it back. I rarely order for myself in a restaurant unless he tells me to get whatever I want- he knows what I like and I have yet to eat anything gross. I never drink alcohol without permission and he usually tells me how many I can have in a given night. He always knows where I am and who I'm with- he doesn't check up on me but if plans change I let him know.

Is it ever uncomfortable?- Absolutely. Is that always a bad thing, no. I hate having to tell him when I've done something I'm sure he won't be happy with. It makes me want to throw up.Â

Sexual infraction- best example I can come up with is TMI but here goes. If i've been flat out told I can't have an orgasm and I get off anyway there's some consequences. Usually he has a reason though sometimes that reason is just to watch me squirm. In a situation like that the mood can be very playful or very serious. Consequences depend on the mood and everything else.

I'll try to answer them the best I can. And I've already said I'm happy to indulge people's curiosity. :-) So ask away. My answers are sort of in the order you asked them. If i missed something or you'd like more clarification let me know.

I can be happy and secure in a relationship without any form of discipline or D/s, etc. but I much prefer a relationship with it. I like to be able to surrender that control and power because I trust someone enough not to abuse it. I don't know what causes the need or desire in some people and not in others. I haven't studied psychology extensively at all, let alone the psychology of kinksters. I function best in relation to others, part of that is a desire to serve my husband. I don't think it would work for me with someone else. I could probably be a bedroom submissive game player but not in real, everyday life.Â

I had to be very disciplined as a child and young adult because of the life I led. I played 3 sports and competed at a national level in two of them and I was still expected to do well in school. My life was very structured and I thrived in that kind of environment. There's no way I could've done what I wanted at the level I wanted without serious commitment, discipline and structure.

I use some self-imposed discipline when he's away for an extended period of time. I plan my schedule very carefully around work, errands, time for myself, time with friends, and the things he still expects of me regardless of whether or not he's home. Most of my time is mine to do with as I please when he's not around. Our home still has to be run and I still have to go to work and pay bills, etc.

We came to it through some fun sex and then research. Talked about it and decided we'd give it a try. Turns out it worked really well for us.

If I suddenly decided I didn't want to do it anymore- mostly he'd want to find out why. The same would be true if the situation were reversed. We have ups and downs & we're not totally in sync all the time. Those conversations have happened in the past and we've both worked through our "blocks." Usually it's because of something else in our lives not as a direct result of not wanting or wanting control.

I've actually never felt that a punishment was overboard or wrong- he's pretty careful about that. I can say there's never been one I've looked forward to but in the end they make me feel better not worse.

He has quite a lot of control, probably more than most people would be comfortable with me sharing. I almost exclusively wear skirts anymore for a combination of reasons (religious reasons and otherwise) but bottom line is that he prefers them. I don't buy clothing that I don't think he'll like and if he really hates it I usually end up taking it back. I rarely order for myself in a restaurant unless he tells me to get whatever I want- he knows what I like and I have yet to eat anything gross. I never drink alcohol without permission and he usually tells me how many I can have in a given night. He always knows where I am and who I'm with- he doesn't check up on me but if plans change I let him know.

Is it ever uncomfortable?- Absolutely. Is that always a bad thing, no. I hate having to tell him when I've done something I'm sure he won't be happy with. It makes me want to throw up.Â

Sexual infraction- best example I can come up with is TMI but here goes. If i've been flat out told I can't have an orgasm and I get off anyway there's some consequences. Usually he has a reason though sometimes that reason is just to watch me squirm. In a situation like that the mood can be very playful or very serious. Consequences depend on the mood and everything else.

It's not role-play or pretend. But it's also not about being hit or degraded. The head of household is generally a very caring and fair figure. It's more about the submissive handing over portions of control to the head of household. That is not to say that the submissive is incapable of making decisions or running their own lives, just that they'd rather hand that control over to their head of household.

It's not role-play or pretend. But it's also not about being hit or degraded. The head of household is generally a very caring and fair figure. It's more about the submissive handing over portions of control to the head of household. That is not to say that the submissive is incapable of making decisions or running their own lives, just that they'd rather hand that control over to their head of household.

Thank you for the answers, I know I can be a bit.......I like to pry. I study psychology, especially abornomal psych and took a few classes on sexual psychology. I remember hearing about it, but never met anyone who had this sort of relationship, so I put my curiousity on the back burner. You guys sound like this relationship works really well. Did it take some coercion to get him to agree? Is it a role he fell into naturally? Would you rather have me PM you for the questions? I am very curious...........

Thank you for the answers, I know I can be a bit.......I like to pry. I study psychology, especially abornomal psych and took a few classes on sexual psychology. I remember hearing about it, but never met anyone who had this sort of relationship, so I put my curiousity on the back burner. You guys sound like this relationship works really well. Did it take some coercion to get him to agree? Is it a role he fell into naturally? Would you rather have me PM you for the questions? I am very curious...........

"I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine." -John Galt's Oath

"Mr. Rearden, if you saw the Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort, the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders, what would you tell him to do?"- Fransisco d'Aconia "I.....don't know. What could he do? What would you tell him?" -Hank Rearden "To shrug." -Fransisco d'Aconia

From:
fncmullin

To: callmegoddess4613

Posted: Mar-19 07:40 PM (188 of 259)

Ask away but you should probably send a PM so we don't load the board with novels in the responses. :-)

Ask away but you should probably send a PM so we don't load the board with novels in the responses. :-)

The word "discipline" implies that a man disciplines his wife and apparently spanking is a form of it as well. How is that not degrading? That does not sound like a decision maker or head of the household...

A woman in a relationship where her husband abuses her (physically or mentally) and she thinks its normal or acceptable, doesn't really make it right....

The word "discipline" implies that a man disciplines his wife and apparently spanking is a form of it as well. How is that not degrading? That does not sound like a decision maker or head of the household...

A woman in a relationship where her husband abuses her (physically or mentally) and she thinks its normal or acceptable, doesn't really make it right....

It's not degrading because it's what the women want. Of course, its not easy to understand why someone would want a relationship like this if you're not one of those people. I, for example, have always known that this is the kind of relationship I wanted to be in, though I didn't always know what it was called or that others praticed it. I am just beginning to talk to and get to know others who live this way. Also, unless the couple met with the intention of starting a domestic discipline relationship (on a kink site or something similar) it's not something that just happens, and most often it's the womans idea. For myself and my husband, we didn't start using spanking as a punishment until after many conversations. My husband never speaks to or treats me in a way that makes me feel degraded, and none of the women I know in these relationships don't feel that way at all either.
As both myself and another poster living in a domestic discipline relationship have explained, our relationships are not abusive in the least. My husband is sweet, compassionate, and pampers me. There are large differences in an abusive relationship and a dd one, the main difference being, a woman being abused does not ask to be abused. There is no consent. She is put down by her abuser and made to feel badly. Her abuser does not take care not to cause harm, or make sure that she feels valued in their relationship. My husband takes my feelings and opinion very seriously. If I were to tell him I didn't want this anymore, we would most certainly have a serious discussion about it and figure out what the issue was, and it would be put on hold until we could work through it, or it would stop for good it couldn't be worked through.

It's not degrading because it's what the women want. Of course, its not easy to understand why someone would want a relationship like this if you're not one of those people. I, for example, have always known that this is the kind of relationship I wanted to be in, though I didn't always know what it was called or that others praticed it. I am just beginning to talk to and get to know others who live this way. Also, unless the couple met with the intention of starting a domestic discipline relationship (on a kink site or something similar) it's not something that just happens, and most often it's the womans idea. For myself and my husband, we didn't start using spanking as a punishment until after many conversations. My husband never speaks to or treats me in a way that makes me feel degraded, and none of the women I know in these relationships don't feel that way at all either.
As both myself and another poster living in a domestic discipline relationship have explained, our relationships are not abusive in the least. My husband is sweet, compassionate, and pampers me. There are large differences in an abusive relationship and a dd one, the main difference being, a woman being abused does not ask to be abused. There is no consent. She is put down by her abuser and made to feel badly. Her abuser does not take care not to cause harm, or make sure that she feels valued in their relationship. My husband takes my feelings and opinion very seriously. If I were to tell him I didn't want this anymore, we would most certainly have a serious discussion about it and figure out what the issue was, and it would be put on hold until we could work through it, or it would stop for good it couldn't be worked through.

You say that you ask to be treated this way, so help me understand why. Why do you want to be punished like a child by your husband? Why do you not want to be your own person and be free to make your own choices, without the worry that your husband may not like it. You are a grown woman, that just seems wrong, to me.

It is also very typical, in an abusive relationship, for the woman to say that her DH is "sweet, compassionate, and pampers me... when he isn't beating me." In an abuse situation, there is always an element of control. The abuser wants to control the other person. It sounds like the difference between domestic violence and domestic discipline is that the husband managed to convince one party that they wanted it.

I agree with Jules, just because people say they want it, does not make it right. Love is not about control, it is about mutual respect and partnership.

You say that you ask to be treated this way, so help me understand why. Why do you want to be punished like a child by your husband? Why do you not want to be your own person and be free to make your own choices, without the worry that your husband may not like it. You are a grown woman, that just seems wrong, to me.

It is also very typical, in an abusive relationship, for the woman to say that her DH is "sweet, compassionate, and pampers me... when he isn't beating me." In an abuse situation, there is always an element of control. The abuser wants to control the other person. It sounds like the difference between domestic violence and domestic discipline is that the husband managed to convince one party that they wanted it.

I agree with Jules, just because people say they want it, does not make it right. Love is not about control, it is about mutual respect and partnership.

You say that you ask to be treated this way, so help me understand why.

Both women that discussed this being a part of their relationship noted that it makes them feel secure when they were asked why. I think the part that is difficult for us all to understand is why being disciplined would make you feel anymore secure. I feel secure within my relationship, even through our problems, b/c I know above all my husband and I love each other. I also feel secure within myself, as a mom, a lover, a devoted wife, a career person and friend.

It is also very typical, in an abusive relationship, for the woman to say that her DH is "sweet, compassionate, and pampers me... when he isn't beating me."

It is also very typical for an abused woman to make statements such as that she "deserved it". I am not stating whther domestic discipline is abuse or not, but it seems like there is a fine line. I would prefer to not take on certain tasks in my home, such as bills, so my husband does them. He prefers it that way. But I also take on other tasks that he does not, such as our children's care. there will always be different roles we play within our relationships, but I believe there should be equality.

You say that you ask to be treated this way, so help me understand why.

Both women that discussed this being a part of their relationship noted that it makes them feel secure when they were asked why. I think the part that is difficult for us all to understand is why being disciplined would make you feel anymore secure. I feel secure within my relationship, even through our problems, b/c I know above all my husband and I love each other. I also feel secure within myself, as a mom, a lover, a devoted wife, a career person and friend.

It is also very typical, in an abusive relationship, for the woman to say that her DH is "sweet, compassionate, and pampers me... when he isn't beating me."

It is also very typical for an abused woman to make statements such as that she "deserved it". I am not stating whther domestic discipline is abuse or not, but it seems like there is a fine line. I would prefer to not take on certain tasks in my home, such as bills, so my husband does them. He prefers it that way. But I also take on other tasks that he does not, such as our children's care. there will always be different roles we play within our relationships, but I believe there should be equality.

I don't want to be treated like a child, nor am I. Yes, my husband has control over certain aspects of my life, but they are minimal. Domestic discipline relationships are all different, just as relationships where domestic discipline are not present. Some HOH's have more control than others. I am very much my own person, have my own opinions, and make my own choices. I am not afraid to make my own choices, and my husband respects who I am as a person, and trusts me to make my own choices. He does not micromanage my life. I know very well which actions or choices would upset my husband, and they are not generally choices I would make anyway.

I didn't say that my husband is sweet, compassionate and pampers me when he's not "beating" me .. he treats me this way at all times, and I resent that you're continuing to state that he's abusive and beating me when I clearly posted that this is not the case. You are entitiled to your opinion, but I would appreciate you not making comments like that when you clearly don't understand the dynamic. Like I said, this is something I asked for. I physically told my husband that this is what I wanted, and I'm sure that people in genuinely abusive relationships would resent you comparing my situation to theirs. It's nice to not be in control all the time. It is not something that just happened in our relationship, it came from many conversations and discussing what/why I felt I needed. It took some convincing on MY part to get my husband on board. Our choice to engage in the power dynamic of domestic discipline has brought us closer together, and created a greater connection and intimacy between us. I feel safe and loved in my relationship. So it doesn't really matter that you don't agree with how we choose to live our life, or whether or not you believe that just because I choose to live this way, doesnt make it right. Just because it isn't something you would want for yourself, which is YOUR choice to make, doesn't mean it's not right for someone else's relationship.

I don't want to be treated like a child, nor am I. Yes, my husband has control over certain aspects of my life, but they are minimal. Domestic discipline relationships are all different, just as relationships where domestic discipline are not present. Some HOH's have more control than others. I am very much my own person, have my own opinions, and make my own choices. I am not afraid to make my own choices, and my husband respects who I am as a person, and trusts me to make my own choices. He does not micromanage my life. I know very well which actions or choices would upset my husband, and they are not generally choices I would make anyway.

I didn't say that my husband is sweet, compassionate and pampers me when he's not "beating" me .. he treats me this way at all times, and I resent that you're continuing to state that he's abusive and beating me when I clearly posted that this is not the case. You are entitiled to your opinion, but I would appreciate you not making comments like that when you clearly don't understand the dynamic. Like I said, this is something I asked for. I physically told my husband that this is what I wanted, and I'm sure that people in genuinely abusive relationships would resent you comparing my situation to theirs. It's nice to not be in control all the time. It is not something that just happened in our relationship, it came from many conversations and discussing what/why I felt I needed. It took some convincing on MY part to get my husband on board. Our choice to engage in the power dynamic of domestic discipline has brought us closer together, and created a greater connection and intimacy between us. I feel safe and loved in my relationship. So it doesn't really matter that you don't agree with how we choose to live our life, or whether or not you believe that just because I choose to live this way, doesnt make it right. Just because it isn't something you would want for yourself, which is YOUR choice to make, doesn't mean it's not right for someone else's relationship.

"It is also very typical for an abused woman to make statements such as that she "deserved it"."

It seems to me that the one poster has admitted several times in this thread that she thought she deserved it. In fact, she seems to be trying to convince us that she wanted this lifestyle because she NEEDS to disciplined for bad behavior. When you keep a journal so that your 'bad' behavior can be addressed at a later date... you are 'asking for it'.

"It is also very typical for an abused woman to make statements such as that she "deserved it"."

It seems to me that the one poster has admitted several times in this thread that she thought she deserved it. In fact, she seems to be trying to convince us that she wanted this lifestyle because she NEEDS to disciplined for bad behavior. When you keep a journal so that your 'bad' behavior can be addressed at a later date... you are 'asking for it'.

I have been reading this thread....literally with my mouth wide open. I cannot believe that someone would submit themselves to their husbands with THAT kind of extreme. It sounds to me like "domestic dicipline" is a nice fancy way to sugar coat abuse and abuse of power. It doesnt matter to me if the woman asks to be treated that way...no man that has an ounce of respect for his wife would agree to treat her that way. I can order my own d@mn meal, and pick my own clothes. It sounds to me like husbands who want to have control over these things are trying to mold their wives into this perfect idea they have in their minds. I wonder how "happy" these women TRULY are.Â

I have been reading this thread....literally with my mouth wide open. I cannot believe that someone would submit themselves to their husbands with THAT kind of extreme. It sounds to me like "domestic dicipline" is a nice fancy way to sugar coat abuse and abuse of power. It doesnt matter to me if the woman asks to be treated that way...no man that has an ounce of respect for his wife would agree to treat her that way. I can order my own d@mn meal, and pick my own clothes. It sounds to me like husbands who want to have control over these things are trying to mold their wives into this perfect idea they have in their minds. I wonder how "happy" these women TRULY are.Â

I can assure you that I am truly and genuinely happy in my relationship. You can believe whatever you want, but I think it takes a lot of integrity on the husbands part to go against social norms to explore something that makes his wife happy and meet her needs. The rules in my relationship are previously discussed and agreed upon, not just pulled out of a hat bc the husband feels like it.

I can assure you that I am truly and genuinely happy in my relationship. You can believe whatever you want, but I think it takes a lot of integrity on the husbands part to go against social norms to explore something that makes his wife happy and meet her needs. The rules in my relationship are previously discussed and agreed upon, not just pulled out of a hat bc the husband feels like it.

i have a few questions too. you had no idea that you were going to be teaching a class on your lifestyle, did ya? ;)

i understand that not all of your consequnces are spankings. that you also have to write things, ect. but is spanking the only physical punishment you recieve? when you do get spankings are there objects used (belt, spoon, switch) or is it just with his hand? also is it like a pop or a really spanking? is it only on your butt or sometimes somewhere else, like on your hand?

i'm sorry i know these are pretty invasive and personal questions but i guess i'm kinda approaching it like i would when if i was talking about it about spanking children. since that's the only disciplanery type of spanking i've ever dealt with personally. in my opinion with children the type of spanking/ pop and where would depend on the action that merited a spanking/pop and the age of the child. obviously your age isn't a factor since you're both adults but are there diffrent levels of physical punishments for you? also now that you pregant do ya'll still do physical punishments? not saying he would ever be so rough that it would cause harm i just have a hard time thinking it's ok while your pregant.

Sexual infraction- best example I can come up with is TMI but here goes. If i've been flat out told I can't have an orgasm and I get off anyway there's some consequences. Usually he has a reason though sometimes that reason is just to watch me squirm. In a situation like that the mood can be very playful or very serious. Consequences depend on the mood and everything else.

okay the whole usually he has a reason thing confuses me! lol i understand making you squrim, that fun sometimes but what other reason would he have?

i have a few questions too. you had no idea that you were going to be teaching a class on your lifestyle, did ya? ;)

i understand that not all of your consequnces are spankings. that you also have to write things, ect. but is spanking the only physical punishment you recieve? when you do get spankings are there objects used (belt, spoon, switch) or is it just with his hand? also is it like a pop or a really spanking? is it only on your butt or sometimes somewhere else, like on your hand?

i'm sorry i know these are pretty invasive and personal questions but i guess i'm kinda approaching it like i would when if i was talking about it about spanking children. since that's the only disciplanery type of spanking i've ever dealt with personally. in my opinion with children the type of spanking/ pop and where would depend on the action that merited a spanking/pop and the age of the child. obviously your age isn't a factor since you're both adults but are there diffrent levels of physical punishments for you? also now that you pregant do ya'll still do physical punishments? not saying he would ever be so rough that it would cause harm i just have a hard time thinking it's ok while your pregant.

Sexual infraction- best example I can come up with is TMI but here goes. If i've been flat out told I can't have an orgasm and I get off anyway there's some consequences. Usually he has a reason though sometimes that reason is just to watch me squirm. In a situation like that the mood can be very playful or very serious. Consequences depend on the mood and everything else.

okay the whole usually he has a reason thing confuses me! lol i understand making you squrim, that fun sometimes but what other reason would he have?

Women in these relationships want to be disciplined, but make a list of what can be punishable and how? See to me - this sounds like role playing. If this isn't the case, then it sounds abusive and that women in these situations have low self esteem and self respect to allow a man to throw them around.

Also what MAN would be OK to hit and/or punish his wife. If I were to entertain this idea to my SO he would think I was a nutcase and flat out refuse to hit any woman for any reason because he knows better than that.

I just am having trouble understanding.

Women in these relationships want to be disciplined, but make a list of what can be punishable and how? See to me - this sounds like role playing. If this isn't the case, then it sounds abusive and that women in these situations have low self esteem and self respect to allow a man to throw them around.

Also what MAN would be OK to hit and/or punish his wife. If I were to entertain this idea to my SO he would think I was a nutcase and flat out refuse to hit any woman for any reason because he knows better than that.

The journal isn't a diary of my bad behavior. It's about my life, my days, my thoughts and emotions- the same as any other journal. It's led to a lot of very interesting conversations and brought us very close together. DH occasionally writes responses to me in it- those have been very interesting. When he's gone it's a way for him to see how I've felt and how I've managed certain things.

The journal isn't a diary of my bad behavior. It's about my life, my days, my thoughts and emotions- the same as any other journal. It's led to a lot of very interesting conversations and brought us very close together. DH occasionally writes responses to me in it- those have been very interesting. When he's gone it's a way for him to see how I've felt and how I've managed certain things.

I'm absolutely capable of ordering my own meal in a restaurant, it's just that often I don't. If I'm out with friends I don't call him to see what I should eat- we both have better things to do. And I'm capable of picking out my own clothes, as well. I often do. But why would I deliberately pick an article of clothing that I thought DH would think was ugly or unflattering? I like to be attractive for him.I take issue with your statement about men in these type of relationships having no respect for the women in their lives. My husband has a great deal of respect for me. I guarantee that if you ever met us on the street you'd never know this was even part of our relationship.

It has nothing to do with being perfect and everything to do with choices we've made. My husband doesn't expect me to be perfect, he expects me to be a good person who reflects well on our family. It's exactly the same thing expects of himself.

I'm absolutely capable of ordering my own meal in a restaurant, it's just that often I don't. If I'm out with friends I don't call him to see what I should eat- we both have better things to do. And I'm capable of picking out my own clothes, as well. I often do. But why would I deliberately pick an article of clothing that I thought DH would think was ugly or unflattering? I like to be attractive for him.I take issue with your statement about men in these type of relationships having no respect for the women in their lives. My husband has a great deal of respect for me. I guarantee that if you ever met us on the street you'd never know this was even part of our relationship.

It has nothing to do with being perfect and everything to do with choices we've made. My husband doesn't expect me to be perfect, he expects me to be a good person who reflects well on our family. It's exactly the same thing expects of himself.

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