Friday, April 10, 2009

Filthy was looking for NPR when we settled on the MichaelBaisden show.I was intrigued because the show was aboutwhether a woman,a wife, has the right to "Go on Strike"andhold out on sex from her husband.Seeing as my researchinterests are women and sexuality,I was intrigued about thepossibilities that the discussion presented.

So, I am listening to the show, and at 6:40 Baisden says to a caller, "If you weremy woman, not feeling like it is not a reason to give me some." Word?At 7:53 Baisden says, "If you are not in the mood, just lay there and take it."[Laughter].

The woman caller says that if she doesn't feel like it she isn't doing it.

...were victimized by intimate partners a significantly higher rates than persons of any other race between 1993 and 1998. Black females experienced intimate partner violence at a rate 35% higher than that of white females, and about 22 times the rate of women of other races. Black males experienced intimate partner violence at a rate about 62% higher than that of white males and about 22 times the rate of men of other races.

According to the study published by the Africana Voices Against Violence, Tufts University:

The number one killer of African-American women ages 15 to 34 is homicide at the hands of a current or former intimate partner.

In a study of African-American sexual assault survivors, only 17% reported the assault to police.

I was waiting for Baisden to insert some kind of disclaimer, andsay, "Ya'll knowI am just playing, I don't want you all to call herecursing me out", but he didn't.

Baisden's comments got me to thinking. I am currently in themiddle of writing a review to Steve Harvey's "Act Like A Lady,Date Like a Man" and I couldn't help but thinkabout about howthe Black male talk show hosts are just aspatriarchal as some of the rappers.

Really what is the difference between Snoop saying "BitchesAin't Shit But Ho's and Tricks" and "Just lie there and take It?"

Granted the show mellowed out a bit when Baisden broughton a therapist, Dr. Gail Saltz who specializes in relationshipsand sex, but the statement had already been made.

Baisdens comments are also interesting because,in the United States, it has historically been permissible fora husband to have non consensual sex with his wife.

10 comments:

It's weird to me that a woman would seriously call a radio show to discuss her sexual options. There are so many things wrong with what he said, my head is swimming. And I think that's tied to passively accepting Baisden's actions in that there's so much of this anger floating around us -- where to start?

Educating him on how to show respect for his human partners and recognize the hallmarks of a healthy relationship?Educating women to revise/refine where they seek advice on their lives and how they see their sexuality (i.e. something that doesn't need the approval of men and/or society)?Boycott him?

See I could keep going with the questions. Personally, I choose helping women rethink their relationship to their sexuality and reconfigure their concept of a healthy intimate relationship.

It's weird to me that a woman would seriously call a radio show to discuss her sexual options.======Why is it weird. Everyone EXCEPT for us talks about OUR sexuality. Its about time that we do.

Educating women to revise/refine where they seek advice on their lives and how they see their sexuality (i.e. something that doesn't need the approval of men and/or society)?====Thinking about this.The issue is that Baisden is getting some serious GM money, feel me. But other women, not just us would have to care.Let me be clear, it took me walking around with a white dude for me to understand the extent to which some Black men saw me as property.

@Kandeezie,Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

But educate men, not just him.======What does educating men look like?I am not being snarky...Im so sincurre.

I definitely agree, about the voting. That's why it always trips me out when people watch things every day and get pissed off. I understand the whole "keep your enemies closer" deal, and I understand that you need to keep an eye on ppl so you know how to attach em...but I just refuse to watch it, because I don't wanna contribute to it at all.

As someone who covers and loves hip-hop, my response may be a bit predictable, but it's definitely true that people outside of artists are just as guilty for spreading messages that are hateful/harmful at worst, and inconsiderate at least. Though hip-hop has a reputation/stigma of being that way by default, so radio hosts are off the hook. And I think that people consider hip-hop as a genre to be more influential than radio hosts themselves, which is why radio hosts are ignored while rappers are protested against.

Another key point is that women's rights in general are ignored, esp. in comparison to race rights. And it's been that way even since the civil rights movement. But yet another point is that misogyny is damn near the default now, to the point that people feel like it isn't even worth talking about it because they feel that it won't have any affect.

You're bookmarked based off of this post alone.====Thank you. That is why I write.

Im curious, How did you find the site?

As someone who covers and loves hip-hop, my response may be a bit predictable, but it's definitely true that people outside of artists are just as guilty for spreading messages that are hateful/harmful at worst, and inconsiderate at least.==============Your comment reminds me that I need to do a Hip Hop/Negro/White/Male/Female/Lesbian/Gay Misogyny Chart.

You may enjoy a piece that I wrote for Racilicious a year ago.Me, Patriarchy and Mobb Deep.

But yet another point is that misogyny is damn near the default now, to the point that people feel like it isn't even worth talking about it because they feel that it won't have any affect.=======Yeah. Ok. But Black women held this country down when the it was just a seed. Black women played an integral role in all the social movements in the country WHETHER it was recognized as not. For me, it is irrelevant whether people WILL go for it, as I see it as my purpose to spit my shit regardless. I told God I would. I got to keep it even.

Hello.Baisden has been like that for a minute, very self-righteous and kind of screwed up. Some times he like to play the devil's advocate to incite his audience and keep it interesting. Some times he is dead serious. I stopped listening to his show a long time ago because he really thought he was schooling folks with some nonsense.

There are a number of cases where a wives have accused their husbands of rape.

I'm interesting in your review of Harvey's book. I haven't read it yet but make sure you check out this book with the same theme and title written years earlier. http://www.actlikealadythinklikeaman.com/She has some serious difference with Steve Harvey's book but from what I hear they're basically the same.