Thursday, February 16, 2012

A number of studies have addressed withdrawal issues, covering alcohol, tobacco, and controlled drugs. A review of the literature, however, shows a surprising lack of research into other addictions.In an attempt to rectify this situation I'm publishing the following data, addressing a transient, yet debilitating, condition.

For the purposes of assessment, and for possible use in future cases, a grading system was developed for this paper. It was based on the World Objective Zeitgeist Joint Organizational Bureaucratic System (WOZJOBS) staging scale data.

Case report:

A middle-aged neurologist recently left his MacBook Pro overnight at the Apple Store for repairs. Over the next several hours he underwent a gradual series of decompensations, which are presented here.

Stage 3: Decides to go online with iPad. Discovers it was left at the office. Considers 1 hour drive through snow back into dangerous downtown area after dark to get it. Finds that spouse let air out of car tires to prevent this. Hyperventilates.

Stage 4: Tries to use iPhone to send long emails and write blog posts, discovers it's not particularly well suited to this. Sprains thumb.

Stage 5: Desperation. Diaphoretic & dyspneic. Dusts off old Windows laptop in the back of closet and is able to get online. It freezes up every 2-3 minutes, reminding him why he stopped using Windows in the first place. Blames Steve Jobs for his current state of despair. Spouse administers sedative consisting of caffeine-free Diet Coke laced with an old Vicodin tablet from the medicine cabinet.

After being sedated the subject was tucked into bed, carefully guarded by a pair of 4-legged orderlies. All symptoms resolved the following day after picking up the repaired computer.

Discussion: Computer withdrawal blows. They should be able to carry out all repairs in less than one-fourth the estimated time (like Mr. Scott) and not have to keep it overnight. Also, caffeine-free Diet Coke sucks.

Dr. Grumpy, love your blog. I see the Astronomy Picture of the Day is one of your recommended web sites. Are you familiar with this one? Check it out--there are videos from the space station as it orbits the earth. http://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/videogallery/index.html

Interesting. I'm a programmer who is set up to work from home since God forbid we ever get an evening or weekend off. That means I have 5 desktops and 2 laptops, any of which I can use for everything. Only a loss of electricity prevents me from working, so when it does occasionally go off, I'm thrilled to have an opportunity to get my butt away from the bloody PC and into a lovely couch with a (paper) book, rid of the stupid internet and other work for a few blessed hours. Just goes to show....

*snort*I work in a Mac repair shop. If they didn't break I would be out of a job.

The Mac hardware fail rate is the same, if not higher, than Windows/Linux machines. It's just that the OS is *slightly* more stable than Windows (ignore Vista, it didn't happen) and currently virus free makes them seem like they don't break down as often.

You want a stable "doesn't break" system? Run Debian stable or Ubuntu LTS.

Don't fear the penguin, you can be like they are...[cowbell goes here]

I don't ordinarily comment.....that doesn't mean that I don't love every word you publish.....I see that you get plenty of support from others, but this one really won my heart. Loved every word and empathize totally.

You should be married to an IT geek. Totally solves your problem. We have 5 working desktops, all running Linux, 4 HP Touchpads, one iPod Touch and 3 smart phones. So we will never really have to go through withdrawal, as long as our dealer, uh I mean my husband, doesn't die or have a midlife crisis and run off with some vacuous bimbo.

As a 4th year veterinary student who has been attached to her computer for over 3.5 years I fully understand the computer withdrawl situation. I don't have a big problem if I am in town when my computer crashes since we get a loaner from IT, but I was stuck at Mayo in MN for 2.5 weeks when my computer got infected by a virus (the second day I was there). Talk about withdrawl! Thankfully Mayo has a few computer labs patients can use, and thus I got to check my email but that was about it.

Awww.... So sad. I have three laptops. Never a computer-free day. I have been on holiday for a month recently. Some of the places we stayed didn't have internet. Oh the horror! I had to walk a hundred yards and set up camp in a McCafe with free wifi.

LOLLOLLOL The macs are for work (publishing) and the PC is at home. Funny, I CAN troubleshoot my PC (Of course, I took BASIC in jr. high and had the first TRS computer when it came out) but the mac??? When it breaks down, I need the guru to come in with beads and incense to rattle at and fumigate whatever ails the mac. (Yes, the sarcasm mode is on full)I feel your pain. Grumpy.

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

Singing Foo!

Have Dr. Grumpy delivered automatically to your Kindle for only 99 cents a month! Sign up here!

Dr. Grumpy is for hire! Need an article written (humorous, medical, or otherwise) or want to commission a genuine Grumpy piece for your newspaper/magazine/toilet paper roll? Contact me to discuss subjects. You can reach me at the email address below, or through my Linked-In profile.

Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.