So Yahoo recently published a list from Cosmo – which was probably written in between a Lifetime movie marathon – of the top lies that men tell women and why all women should be skeptical if they ever hear them, and I think this list warrants discussion. Let’s talk about these top ten lies, shall we?

Lie # 10: “I’m Stuck in Traffic”

Who lies about being in traffic?

Lie # 9: “It Wasn’t That Expensive”

Hell yeah I bought the top of the line Nerf gun.

Lie # 8: “I’m on My Way”

OK, this might be the only lie I agree with; 99% of the time I run late to absolutely everything.

Lie # 7: “I Didn’t Have Too Much to Drink”

Me? I’ve never had too much to drink, baby.

Lie # 6: “Sorry, I Missed Your Call,”

I can’t apologize for missing your call now? Listen, if it’s automatically assumed that I’m cheating on you we’ve got an issue.

Lie # 5: “My Battery Died,”

Uh baby, you know I’ve got an Android with that crappy Ice Cream Sandwich business. You’re lucky I can send 5 texts without it dying.

Lie # 4: “I Had No Signal”

Uh baby, I’ve got an iPhone, we literally never have signal. Oh I’m going in a tunne….

Lie # 3: “No, Your Butt Doesn’t Look Big in That”

Two approaches here: 1) why would any man ever say this? What’s wrong with a big butt? 2) Maybe you could pick up jogging?

Lie # 2: “This Will Be My Last Beer”

Tolaty. This beeerr will comlpetrly be tha lasst one 2nithgre. luh u babii

Lie # 1: “Nothing’s Wrong, I’m Fine”

Oh so you can lie about this one and I can’t? I smell a double standard, ma’am.

I think that’s a fair translation, right? What do you all think? Are these legit lies? Are they missing some?