2016/08/24

relationships

Relationships are a quite tricky subject in my opinion. Movies and books show us from little on that love goes hand in hand with relationships and happiness. And as we grow up, we get to see another side of all of that. A more ugly side that films and books simply skip.

Of course : relationships can be pretty nice. I guess that everybody likes the idea of having a special someone who is always there for you, who listens and cares, who would do anything just to see you happy. Everybody wishes finding their special somebody one day, and that's okay.

But the problem is that a realtionship also has a few other sides. One of them is the shadow side : discussions, tears, heartbreaks, etc. And that side alone can be quite terrifying, I know. You have to compromise, to hold yourself back, to forgive and forget. And that's not always as easy as one think. Every relationship is somehow different, and in a few lucky ones there is really little to see of this shadow side (as I called it). And actually, that's how it has to be.

A relationship is there to support you, and bring the best out of everything and everybody, especially yourself. Of course, you'll have to work on that relationship and accept that it can't always be as perfect as in the Disney movies that you watched as a little child.

A relationship can add a nice bonus in life, but it shouldn't be the main focus, as nowadays most of them don't last forever, and so your main focus wouldn't do either. In my opinion, this ephemerality is due to the fact that we live in a sort of throwaway society. We don't try to get old or broken things to work again ; we go out and simply buy something new instead, because it is way easier. And that's how most people also act in a relationship : if it doesn't work by itself, they'll find some other person with whom it will work for some time again without any effort.

Nevertheless don't forget that it has to make you happy in first place. You are what you need to take care of most, also in a relationship. Don't forget your own happiness in order to make another person smile. Don't forget to respect and love yourself first. Because at the end of the day, you're the only person that actually will be there for the rest of your life.

Try your best to make it work, but if it doesn't, then let it go. It doesn't bring you further if you hold on to something that is irreparably broken or makes you more sad and depressed than happy. I know that most people (especially teenagers) won't believe me if I say that you'll get over it, but you will. I won't say that you will feel better in a few days or weeks time. No. You will cry, and you will hate the other person, everybody around you, your life and perhaps even yourself for some time. But it will get better. You'll get better. And some day, you will find a person that will make you as happy as you deserve to be, and accept you for the person you are. And until that day, you'll have to get your sh*t together and move on.