So Mena Suvari is in a movie called Stuck, based on the true story of a woman who hit a homeless man with her car, then left the man, still wedged in her windshield to die and later disposed of the body. Naturally it’s a comedy. (red-band trailer after the jump)

Mena Suvari stars as Brandi, a cornrowed retirement-home caregiver who washes asses for a living and has a cheating boyfriend to contend with at home. She suddenly finds herself on top of the world when she is offered a promotion at work, which means she will no longer have to clean up feces for rent and food money. After a hard night of celebrating this new turn in her life, Brandi hits a homeless man and he becomes wedged in the windshield of her car. Afraid to go to the authorities, the girl’s life comes crashing down around her.

Wait, did you say cornrows?

Mena Suvari: The cornrows? That was about establishing Brandi as this girl from a particular society and neighborhood. The real story took place in Fort Worth, Texas. We felt that maybe our story was taking place in Rhode Island. Maybe Providence. So the hair was about establishing her in this particular world.

Seems like the setting would be something you’d know for sure, but… I totally get Rhode Island – after all, that’s the White-people-in-cornrows State.

Suvari: My intent was to make Brandi look realistic [… -Ed.]. She needed to be involved in this particular world. She’s not a model. She’s not an actress or a beauty queen. That was her life. So if she is living in this particular world, and she has this particular boyfriend, and these are her surroundings, then yeah, she would absolutely incorporate a hairstyle like this. Despite the fact that certain people in society wouldn’t find it that attractive. [Source]

Waaait, a second, the story this is based on, it didn’t happen to be a black girl, did it? I think I understand now. Casting the whitest girl on the planet aside from those guys from Nelson and giving her cornrows makes much more sense than casting a black girl. I mean, that would just be retarded. In other news, I hear Tyler Perry’s next movie is about a white chick, played by Angela Bassett in a Blink 182 hoodie.

Join The Discussion

Did Mena Suvari just say that she basically had to "ugly herself up" to make this role believable?Liars go to hell Ms. Suvari; liars go to hell…

05.30.08 at 2:21 pm

Donkey Hodey

Tyler Perry’s next movie is about a white chick, played by Angela Bassett in a Blink 182 hoodie. Madeath Cab for Cutie.

05.30.08 at 2:22 pm

Burnsy

Tyler Perry presents "Madea Goes Muttonchops."

05.30.08 at 2:23 pm

JHC

The cornrows? That was about establishing Brandi as this girl from a particular societyThe "I’m dating a black guy just to piss off my father" society or the "I’ve got a fat ass, I may as well run with it" society?

05.30.08 at 2:25 pm

Watanabex

i for one would not like to have sexual intercourse with mina suvari

05.30.08 at 2:25 pm

JHC

If they had cast Whitney Houston, this could’ve been believable.KISS MAH ASS!!!

05.30.08 at 2:26 pm

Burnsy

The corn rows gave her character more street cred, but what gave her depth was growing a bulbous click.

05.30.08 at 2:26 pm

Watanabex

…and Jackson’s cousin Herbert Tyrone Cleveland… could these people be any more black?

05.30.08 at 2:27 pm

Charlie Bronze

They should have put her in blackface too and invited Spike Lee to the premiere.

05.30.08 at 2:27 pm

JHC

I for two wouldn’t either Mexi-bex.

05.30.08 at 2:27 pm

witty nickname

Alternate Title: "I Know You Di’in’t Do What I Thought You Done Did Last Summer"

05.30.08 at 2:28 pm

RoboPanda

"she has this particular boyfriend"I have lots of particular friends.

05.30.08 at 2:30 pm

chodin

I only like Mena Suvari in movies where her character description includes, “blonde hair” and “tries to fuck friend’s dad”.

05.30.08 at 2:32 pm

Charlie Bronze

I take it she gets the promotion after killing the homeless guy. That’s how things work over here.

05.30.08 at 2:32 pm

chodin

Damn, one less dude to creepishly ask me fore change.

Brandi: +1 point

Homeless People: still zero points, cocksuckers.

05.30.08 at 2:33 pm

Eibmoz

I think its funny how she tried to dance around the race thing. I just find the whole thing not even remotely funny. They took a horrible thing and made it into a comedy, and a racist statement at that. And that concludes our seriousness for the day.

05.30.08 at 2:33 pm

Watanabex

if i were elija woods brother id peel homeless men off of my windshiled then shoot them then blame my Aw fuck it i dont know where im going with this STOP OR MY MOM WILL SHOOT!!!

05.30.08 at 2:33 pm

chodin

FORE !!!!!!!!!!

*golf ball strikes and kills a homless man somewhere in the city*

05.30.08 at 2:33 pm

Pauly Dangerously

See, when I hit that hobo with my car, I just bumped him in his big ass duffle bag he was wearing and he tipped over. Brandi gots it all wrong.

05.30.08 at 2:34 pm

Burnsy

Why do I have a feeling that when this film wrapped Mena stayed in character just like Brittany Murphy after 8 Mile?

05.30.08 at 2:34 pm

Eibmoz

i realize that made no sense, and I should have seperated the 2. Menas situation is funny, the movie I find icky

05.30.08 at 2:35 pm

Eibmoz

Are you saying she had sex with Emimem after filming, Burnsy?

05.30.08 at 2:35 pm

chodin

” homless ” man collapses, ” homeless ” people don’t care.

05.30.08 at 2:36 pm

Burnsy

This is why I use Bum-X on my car’s windshield.

05.30.08 at 2:36 pm

Pauly Dangerously

I asked a homeless guy fro some change the other day. When he gave me this confused look I said "Pretty fuckin’ annoying aint it?" Then I hot the brakes and he flew out of my windshield.

05.30.08 at 2:37 pm

Burnsy

That’s exactly what I’m saying, Eibz. I seen it with my own eyes.

05.30.08 at 2:37 pm

JHC

Fact: More black dudes will beat off to Mena Suvari due to her hair, than ALL guys combined did before this film.

05.30.08 at 2:39 pm

Eibmoz

Ew thats icky, too, Burnsy. How long before you regained your sight after that?

05.30.08 at 2:40 pm

Burnsy

True story: My family in Seattle are always trying to get me to move out there and about 8 years ago I decided there was no way in hell I would because I was riding into downtown on a bus and we stopped at a light. I looked out my window and there was a bus stop full of bums. One guy was sitting down on the bench and another male bum stood over him and whipped it out. Then all felately goodness broke out! Needless to say, I gave up bum-fucking from that day on.(Seriously, true story.)

05.30.08 at 2:40 pm

Eibmoz

Fact: I used to beat off more to Erswi’s old avatar and Jack’s Robbie Rotten than I do now. Wait, what?

05.30.08 at 2:40 pm

Donkey Hodey

To further get into this role, Mena Suvari spent three months cleaning up feces for rent and food money.

05.30.08 at 2:40 pm

Pauly Dangerously

TRUE STORY:As you guys may or may not know, I work at a auto collision shop. This guy came in one time after he hit a bum on the road. He fucking killed the bum of coarse, but on the hood, you could totally see wear the bum hit his face at. There was the oil from his face on the hood, and you can make out where his ear, hair, eye socket, and nose were. There was a dent with a chip where his tooth hit. It was fucking cool.

05.30.08 at 2:42 pm

JHC

I’d seriously have to think about it if I were told I had to fuck either Mena or the cock-eyed muhfuckah in my avatar.

05.30.08 at 2:42 pm

Fek'lhr

The Mighty Fek’lhr has a dent in Grethor where He hit Condaleeza Rice and Gene Simmons…huh?

05.30.08 at 2:43 pm

Donkey Hodey

This is a comedy?What the hell is so funny about killing homeless people?*Re-watches American Psycho*Touche’

05.30.08 at 2:43 pm

Eibmoz

whoa. that is creepy Pauly. Strange, my uncle Paul owns a auto shop

05.30.08 at 2:43 pm

Burnsy

You totally bought the car, right Pauly?

05.30.08 at 2:44 pm

Eibmoz

He sold the hood on Ebay

05.30.08 at 2:45 pm

Donkey Hodey

He sold the hood on EbayTell ‘em that it’s the hood from the car used to run down Jesus. That should at least double the price.

Don’t even stress you guys, I just read the actual article this is based on and “Damanda” was playing GTA on her X-box when she hit the homeless dude. Totally cool.

05.30.08 at 2:47 pm

Pauly Dangerously

I have the picture that I took from the my cell phone still. PM me and I would be happy to e-mail it to you.

05.30.08 at 2:48 pm

Charlie Bronze

People who run into bums should mark the side of their rides in the same way WW2 fighter pilots did after a successful dogfight. I do, although i travel everywhere by donkey and i don’t think he appreciates it too much.

05.30.08 at 2:48 pm

Fek'lhr

BTK, I plan on getting wasted tonight, should I come on here and spaz out about something?Find something that will piss me off and hold on to it for about another four hours.

05.30.08 at 2:49 pm

Donkey Hodey

No, Charlie, I don’t. That fucking tattoo gun hurts.

05.30.08 at 2:49 pm

Fek'lhr

Wait, Mena got cornrows to look more "black"? How does she figure?

05.30.08 at 2:50 pm

Eibmoz

It would have been awesome Pauly if you could have filled the dent with plaster and made a mould. Awesome dead bum art piece.

05.30.08 at 2:52 pm

Charlie Bronze

hehe Ok, no more tattoos. I’ll break out the branding irons, i’ve been dying to use them.

05.30.08 at 2:52 pm

Fek'lhr

In British-speak, "bum" means "fanny"! …Dor sho gha!

05.30.08 at 2:54 pm

Burnsy

Mena said she also corn rowed her pubes because it wrangles all the crabs.

05.30.08 at 2:54 pm

Pauly Dangerously

I think we might still have that hood……….

05.30.08 at 2:55 pm

RoboPanda

Hells yeah, Eib. Like Han stuck in carbonite.

05.30.08 at 2:55 pm

Donkey Hodey

Well, if the shop smells strangely like piss and you hear odd moaning sounds, there’s a chance the bum is haunting it.There’s also a chance that your auto shop kicks ass.

05.30.08 at 2:57 pm

Eibmoz

Robo, you are my density

05.30.08 at 3:00 pm

Eibmoz

Well, if the shop smells strangely like piss and you hear odd moaning sounds, there’s a chance the bum is haunting it. or Busey

05.30.08 at 3:00 pm

Pauly Dangerously

Donk, the piss smell and maoning is all me, DONK!

05.30.08 at 3:01 pm

Fek'lhr

One two punch of Empire and Back to the Future…nice.

05.30.08 at 3:02 pm

Donkey Hodey

I was worried that my Pauly-oop wasn’t going to materialize there.IT’S HEDLEY!!!

05.30.08 at 3:09 pm

Pauly Dangerously

Pauly-oops never durst. NEVER!

05.30.08 at 3:11 pm

Donkey Hodey

Mena Suvari always looks like she’s spent the entire day at an indoor swimming pool.

05.30.08 at 3:12 pm

Pauly Dangerously

Cornrows say one thing: "I’m all for domestic violence"

05.30.08 at 3:12 pm

Fek'lhr

Wow, you guys must all be busy laughing at what I write in my blog!

05.30.08 at 3:13 pm

Craptastic

From Wki; Instead of casting an African American for the part in Stuck, the producer decided to cast a white girl with corn rowed hair. I love how snarky Wiki can be sometimes instead of that regular ol’ encyclopedia bullshit.

When asked about the casting of Stuck, the girl it’s based on said, "AWWWWWWW HELL NAW!!!"

05.30.08 at 3:16 pm

Craptastic

Spike Lee was quoted as saying, "When one of our fine Nubian princesses kills a white man by running him over and then lettting him die I her garage while she lets her African adonis boyfriend cornhole her, a white woman had better play her in the film version because a black actress in that role would negatively protray negro ethics. But that bum better be black!"

05.30.08 at 3:18 pm

Craptastic

Robert Downey Jr. was quoted as saying, "Pussy ass bitch."

05.30.08 at 3:19 pm

Craptastic

I guess I’ll go back and read the comments and see who thinks like me…

05.30.08 at 3:32 pm

Craptastic

Oh, it was a new post Durst.CB and I are genious level think alikers.

05.30.08 at 4:47 pm

Charlie Bronze

I knew it! Ha!

06.02.08 at 4:25 pm

darthvato

In real life, the chick who hit the guy was pretty fucked up (hammered, stoned and what the kids call "rolling on ‘E’"), which is why she didn’t call the police.[www.cnn.com];