Hamilton Nolan

Good news for law school graduates who have been doing "document review" in a windowless basement sweatshop for $25 an hour since they got their diploma in 2009: there may be some law firm jobs now! (Not for you, but for the kids).

The Wall Street Journal reports that sweet gigs at big law firms, while still a pipe dream for the vast majority of foolish law school grads, are somewhat more readily available now than they were just a couple of years ago, when the average law school graduate's most viable career plan was to land an audition for a role as "Background Attorney 3" on that Better Call Saul show coming to AMC. But now—green shoots:

The chances of landing a job at a large law firm have improved from the hiring nadir a few years back, when sputtering demand for legal services triggered layoffs and cutbacks. Of class-of-2013 law graduates working in private practice about nine months after graduation, 20.6% landed a job at a firm with more than 500 lawyers, according to the National Association for Law Placement. Such positions accounted for 16.2% of law-firm jobs held by 2011 graduates.

With the caveats that— 1) it is still hard to get these most coveted of law firm jobs, and 2) actually getting one of these jobs is a curse more than a blessing, since it will in short order turn the average peppy 20something law grad into a slovenly, pale, broken, antisocial office-bound ghost with no friends, no life outside work, and (probably) a dead pet, because you didn't feed your pet, because you were working all the time, and now you have a real nice apartment that's stank because of the decomposing body of your dog, the last creature on this earth capable of loving the miserable person you have become—we congratulate law school grads on their newfound good fortune.