Well all cats are of course, all of the above too, but those of us who are on the dark-side in colour have a bigger cross to bear, as in bygone times black cats we're deemed eveeel and the familiars of witches; assisting their mistress's in The Darke Arts and Demon Summoning.

While I cannot confirm or deny whether the P.A. is a witch or not; the jury is still out on that, though I can safely say she's not summoned any demonic entities while I've been here and I've neffur seen her with a bubbling cauldron or wearing a pointy back hat, although she does have a broom stick... nuff said! MOL

But anyhoo since the Darke Ages us black cats have had some really rotten press offur the centuries leading some of the peeps in the wurld to believe that we are bad luck and a whole host of other really, really, really dumb, stupid, idiotic things.

I can assure the wurld most sincerely that black cats are NOT bad luck on any level whatsoeffur or any of the other idiotic things that were dreamt up to purrsecute us.

Black cats are in essence magical, miniature panthers and effuryone should have one, mew are actually doing yourself a disservice by not having one.

So modern day peeps of the wurld, furget all that witch-hunt nonsense and go adopt a miniature panther today, trust me, it's the best thing mew'll do fur yourself this year.

Just look at me, how can anything that looks like me be bad luck? It's not possible on any level effur.So to show mew just how pawesome black cats are, here's a little montage in honour my angel brofur Humphrey, so let's just take a moment to fully embrace the darkness in all its furry and rather fuzzy glory!

Many thanks fur joining me today to celebrate all Blacks Cats the wurld offur, and my supurr special brofur, Humphrey. See mew on the morrow when we're back Pet Parading with our pawesome pals Rascal & Rocco and Barking From The Bayou

You must find him in a galaxy far far far away and bring him back to Catopia before it's too late

Suddenly Astrid's metallic voice rang out as the lights came back on and the TTTB came back to life with its soft humming sound. "Captain Basil, all systems are now repaired and the alien is on the bridge."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Thanks Astrid, effurything is under control and the alien is not a threat."

"Captain Basil I would suggest that you put the alien into quarantine until further notice," Astrid said.

"Thanks Astrid but I think we've got effurything under control," I answered flatly.

Smooch came running on to the bridge closely followed by Parsley, Humphrey and Fudge. "We've got something!" he declared.

Parsley held up a jar and in it was a peculiar pink fish. "It's a Burble Fish, if we put it in Bobs ear he'll be able to sprechen ze English and understand us."

"Wow!" I said. "That's rather impressive Humphrey."

Humphrey grinned and said. "Oh it's nothing, I've been wurking on it fur years and thought it might come in handy as we're travelling to so many foreign climes."

"Pandora, can mew explain to Bob that we need to put this in his ear so we can communicate?" I asked.

Bob nodded and pointed as his ear. Pandora said. "He's agreeable but only if The Great Basil does the deed."

I took the jar from Parsley and fished out the fish. I held it in front of Bob and then pointed towards his ear. He nodded enthusiastically and I dropped the fish in and watched it squirm and wriggle out of sight into Bobs head.

We all let out a unanimous: "UGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

And then Bob shouted. "Basil mew don't know how long I've been looking fur mew and time is running out!"

I was just thinking 'WOW IT WURKS', when Astrid's voice rang out. "Basil I have a long distance message coming through on channel one."

"Patch it through the bridges comms Astrid," I replied, still shuddering as I thought of that fish burrowing into Bobs brain.

"This is the EVEEEL ONE," said the voice. "I am looking for The Great Basil, if you know of his whereabouts I will spare your vessel and crew."

**AND CUT**

Part V

THE EVEEEL ONE STRIKES

**And Action!**

We stayed silent and listened as the Eveeel One continued. "You have five minutes to respond before I take action!"

The speakers went silent with a definitive click and then Astrid spoke. "Captain Basil, it would appear we are being targeted by an unknown cloaked vessel that has just dropped out of hyper-space."

"That's interesting Astrid, have mew got anything that we can actually use," I asked as my hackles bristled.

"Basil," Humphrey said. "If we are being targeted I can use the Holo-Scope Projector to create several images of the TTTB in our local to confuse The Eveeel One."

"Great idea, do it Humphrey and while they're trying to target multiple TTTB's we'll just pop off somewhere else." I replied, then added. "Astrid if we project multiple images of the TTTB around our location, would it give mew enough time to teleport us to another dimension before they realize and blow us up?"

"I am calculating the probabilities right now," Astrid said.

I looked at Bob, who seemed terrified that The Eveeel One had found us so soon. I patted him gently on the head and said. "Bob, little dude, don't fret we're used to this kind of threat, it's just a normal effuryday occurrence fur us."

Bob looked up at me, his big expressive eyes were full of tears. "But Basil, no-one has effur defeated The Eveeel One and time is running out!"

I put my paw on his shoulder and sat next to him. "Dude purrlease don't be afraid, we've got this!"

Bob wailed and covered his eyes as The Eveeeel Ones ship uncloaked fully.

"Basil, their weapons system has locked onto all holo-images now, we need to get the flip gone," Snowie said rather urgently.

Humphrey laughed, and believe me when I tell mew it was the most evil cackle I'd effur heard. "Parsley on my mark," he said.

Parsley nodded and cackled back.

"Humphrey what are mew doing?" I called.

"I'm getting rid of something rather eveeeeel!" Humphrey cackled and then added. "FIRE NOW PARSLEY!"

"FIRE!" Parsley whooped as he whacked a button on his console.

I sat in my chair, Bob next to me trembling like a leaf in a Category 9 gale and watched the screens.

"But I can't see anything!" I declared aftur a moment, disappointment flooding through me.

Then it happened, just as Humphrey replied. "Mew can't see anything as we're firing Invisi-Warheads at them!" he cackled again. "Completely undetectable until impact, HOOAH!"

Parsley and Humphrey paw-bumped and laughed some more as Parsley swatted the fire button again.

The missiles hit the spaceship, exploding on contact.

The second round of missiles hit and the ship exploded into smithereens.

"Those dudes are space-dust fur sure!" Parsley laughed and at that precise moment the TTTB roared into life. Pandora was frantically keying in crucial information to try and take us back to our earth, time, space continuin-nom-nom-nom.

A few seconds later we landed with a soft bump and I said. "Stats, now!"

Pandora was still thrashing the flip out of the keyboard. "Capitan Basil," she said in her odd little accent. "It vould seem that Astrid is still in charge of the navigation systems and ve are in Vienna, but not our Vienna... I can't seem to hack ze system either, 'Umphrey do mew 'av any idea's?"

"Oh the Baconi Sector seems rather safe," I mused, and then wundered if I could get a bacon sandwich anywhere.

"Basil," Snowie said. "Comms on channel 3, and I could really do with a bacon sarnie!"

That's odd, I thought, I'm sure I didn't say that aloud.

The entire bridge erupted with talk of copious amounts of bacon, until Humphrey said. "Pandora, Astrid seems to have developed some sort of self-awareness and has inadvertently or maybe purrhaps on purrpose, made herself unhackable, so we're stuck with her multi-dimensional trip until I can figure out a way to do something and a bacon sarnie will help my thinking no end!"

Pandora replied. "But 'Umphrey, this machine is dangerous... Astrid could 'av got us all blown up, ve need to take back full control, but yes aftur a bacon butty!"

I rolled my eyes and then turned to Bob. "Bob, are mew coming with or are mew staying here, we'll only be five minutes and then we can get back to saving your wurld from The Eveeel One, ok?"

Bob gulped and said. "Basil, I'll stay here if that's ok, but could I get a bacon butty too?"

I laughed and nodded. "OK dudes and dudettes time to roll, furst we need a photo and then a bacon butty, so let's get moving and no-one is to leave the tour group fur anything, understood?"

The B Team nodded as we headed fur the door. Smooch was on his tablet looking fur bacon butty vendors and would mew believe it, when we opened the TTTB door there was a bacon butty gondola cruising the canal; well mew could have knocked me down with a buttered bun, dipped me in ketchup and I wouldn't have been any more surprised!

"Pandora, go tell that gondola dude on the dock that we will pay him 25 Euro's to ferry us to the bacon butty dude," I said quickly assessing our options.

Pandora nudged Parsley. "Parsley, do mew 'av any Euro's?"

He handed her a 50 Euro note and said. "I want change!" He set the camera drone up as we boarded the gondola, and we were ready fur anything, as long as it had bacon in a bun.

Two minutes later, this was us.

'CLICK'

Back in the TTTB Bob sat burbling to himself, when Astrid suddenly spoke in her metallic voice. "Youngling of theFuzzykin Felines, I would ask that you leave immediately!"

Bob looked up, alert and on guard. "But why?" he asked.

Astrid started to speak and then stopped abruptly.

"Bob! Bob!" I called. "We're back and we got mew a bacon butty."

The little cat-like creature came bounding up to me and jumped into my arms, he looked this way and that until he saw Pandora and waved frantically to her.

I handed him the butty and he stuffed it in his mouth and gulped. "Gosh that was good, do mew have any more?" he asked.

I handed him another and this time he actually stopped to chew it, all the while beckoning Pandora closer. He swallowed and then murmured in Pandora's ear in is native dialect.

I had just crossed Vienna off the Bucket List and looked up to see her terrified expression.

"Humphrey," I said. "Do mew have a device that can allow Pandora and I to talk privately?"

He took another bite from butty number three and said. "Sure I do!" he ambled to the engineering console, opened a cupboard and pulled out a duffel bag. Inside were a pile of silver cones, much like the cone-of-shame. "Put this on," he said to Pandora. Then he handed me one. "Put it on Basil and then push the blue button."

I felt like a nitwit wearing a silver cone, but Pandora was all business, she hit the blue button and gestured fur me to do the same. Which I did.

Immediately we were encased in a blue force-field that shimmered around us like a rippling prismic bubble.

Pandora said in her peculiar little accent. "Bob just told me that Astrid ordered him off the TTTB and that she's up to something bad, he thinks she is vurking vith The Eveeel Vone!"

**AND CUT**

It's that time of the post, when we bet mew've more questions than mew can shake your tail at!

Such as:

OMC How could mew leave us hanging like that and we've got a whole week to wait?!

OH MY COD!!!!!

OH MY COD!!!!! OH MY COD!!!!!

Like seriously ~ mew had bacon butty's?

And what about that alien space ship, are mew sure there weren't any more?

Do mew think mew managed to blow up The Eveeel One?

Where is this bacon butty vendor and can I get 10?

Are mew really going to Catopia?

Vienna looks nice, was it?

Tell us, were those bacon butty's delish or what?

And what about Bob, can mew trust him?

or

Can mew trust Astrid?

Either way dudes, I have another bacon butty!

If mew have any questions, or would like to offur input, leave us a comment, as mew know we luffs them so much! MOL

Join us fur Part Six of our Summer Blockbuster next Tuesday, when we continue on our epically epic adventure.... who knows what will happen.... as now we've got trust issues abound, but at least we have bacon butty's galore! MOL