Mercury Summer Fun Calendar

20th: Shakespeare Festival: Take a trip on down to Ashland and check out all the many top notch theatrical productions at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. (See www.orshakes.org for the schedule)

22nd: Hollywood Farmers Market: First day! Stock up on everything from flowers to produce, direct from their source. Runs through October 30th, every Saturday from 8 am to 1 pm. (NE Hancock between 44th and 45th--one block south of Sandy, next to Value Village)

3rd: Rose Festival: Day one of the epic, citywide madness with music, beauty pageants, rose shows, and fireworks. And you know what else that means saaaaiiiloorss!!!! (Check www.rosefestival.org for specifics, through June 30th)

6th: Stumptown Comics Festival! An alternative comic book convention featuring Shannon Wheeler of Too Much Coffee Man fame, as well as over 20 other cartoon peeps, from small locals to big shots. Plus, a cartoon art battle! (The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th, 1 pm, after-party at Backspace, 115 NW 5th, 7 pm)

ALSO: City Of Roses Guitar Show: Guitar heaven for serious collectors and your average drooling axe man. And groupies: this is like the best singles night you've ever been to times a million. (Monarch Hotel, 12566 SE 93rd, Clackamas)

ALSO: Lowrider Evolution Tour 2004: Holy smokes!! All we have to think about all day long today is lowrider cars. Oh, wait, there's going to be a bikini contest too. Can your brain handle it? (Portland Expo Center, 2060 N Marine Drive)

10th: Pedalpalooza 2004 Kick-Off Art-Bike Parade: The first of two weeks' worth of events thrown by Shift. Wear a costume and cobble one together for your bike, too! (Eco Trust Building Farmers' Market, 721 NW 9th, 6:30 pm)

11th: Mercury 4th Anniversary Party: Remember that time when we mortally offended you? Or wait, what about the time when we wrote a nice blurb about your boyfriend's band, except we got the date wrong? Ha ha HA!! Let's have a drink and fogettaboutit. (w/Libretto, United States of Electronica & Swarming Hordes, Sabala's Mt Tabor, 4811 SE Hawthorne, 9 pm, cheap)

ALSO: Skinny Puppy: Don't miss the dark, scary beauty of this classic gothic freak rock. Or they will kill you and use you as a stage prop. (Roseland, 8 NW 6th)

ALSO: Chainsaw Sculpture Championship: Did you know there was such a thing as a professional chainsaw carver? You must see to believe. (In Reedsport, OR, through the 17th)

18th: Hey hippies. For the next three days you will have the opportunity to retreat away from the city and mingle among your own kind. That's right, it's the String Cheese Incident's annual three-day festival, where you can frolic in your horrid tie-dye outfits and no one will even make fun of you (probably). (Horning's Hideout, 21227 NW Brunswick Canyon Rd, North Plains, $135 for a three-day pass, including camping)

ALSO: Funkstorung: Everyone can use a little German in their life. Take advantage of this opportunity to check out the German genius of the Funkstorung sound. (w/ENIK & DJ Beyonda, Holocene, $8)

ALSO: Legendary Pink Dots: Indeed legendary, people lose it when these producers of experimental bliss come to town. (Roseland)

ALSO: Tillamook County Rodeo: In addition to watching people be hurled around by large, scared animals, you can also check out the June Dairy Parade today in downtown Tillamook! (parade at 10:30 am, rodeo June 26th & 27th, Tillamook County Fairgrounds, tillamookrodeo.com)

2nd: MC5: Woah. An MC5 reunion tour? Awesome! Sure it's not the complete original lineup, but they have Mark Arm (yes!) and Evan Dando (huh?) filling in the vocals. (Roseland)

9th: PDX Pop Now! Festival: The first of three days' worth of over 50 bands that you people voted for! Come see who won! (Meow Meow, 320 SE 2nd)

ALSO: Oregon Country Fair: Day one of a three-day event, with tons of booths filled with bizarre activities. Eat some mushrooms and laugh at the fact that people are dressed like fairies and monkeys. (Veneta, OR, through July 11th)

ALSO: Portland International Beerfest: Some like it because of the opportunity to sample beers from all around the world. Others like getting drunk in the sun. (North Park Blocks, through July 11th)

10th: The Gorge Games: Head up the mountain for this festival of extreme sports, dude. (Columbia River Gorge, Oregon & Washington, check www.gorgegames.com for event schedules and locations, through July 18th)

11th: Yachats Smelt Fry and Music Festival: Every year, unsuspecting smelt fish come to this seaside town to spawn. Then we fry and eat them while we dance to "San Francisco musicians" and laugh for three consecutive days. (through the 13th)

16th: Robin Hood Festival: If you're craving something a little surreal, go play with a bunch of wingnuts in "Nottingham." Learn to play new games like archery, jousting, and juggling, and wear your best metal. (Sherwood, OR, July 16th & 17th)

17th: Southern Oregon Kite Fest: Chances are it's a beautiful day, so why not spend it staring at the clear blue sky? So wholesome! (Brookings, OR, July 17th & 18th)