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New Fox Sports 1 channel is trying too hard to be everything to viewers

By Tom Hoffarth, Los Angeles Daily News

Posted:
08/23/2013 08:00:31 AM PDT

Updated:
08/23/2013 09:14:03 AM PDT

(sara/Fox Sports)

They came out of a commercial break on the Tuesday night edition of “Fox Sports Live,' and co-hosts Dan O'Toole and Jay Onrait were sporting one of those looks as if they were about to deal with a very serious topic, but had nothing really of value to bring to the conversation.

“This is Fox Sports Live, and yes, we do have a lot of stuff on the screens,' O'Toole said.

“Soon you won't be able to see us at all,' continued Onrait, shifting in his chair and squinting his eyes — and, in some ways, giving the viewers something to hope for.

“And then we can finally do this show wearing nothing but a pair of Donovan McNabb's multicolored socks. Until then, let's take a trip around the National Football League.'

Producer Michael Davies participates in a FOX Sports 1 press event to launch the new show "Crowd Goes W!ld" on Monday, July 15, 2013 in New York.
(Evan Agostini, Invision/Associated Press)

But seriously ...

About that seizure-inducing screen, with that fluorescent graphic box on the right mentioning something about Yasiel Puig's favorite food, a scroll across the bottom delivering some UFC results in two very long sentences that no one can possibly read before it disappears, and more graphics underneath the anchors giving us their Twitter handles, because for all we know, they're tweeting under the desk where we can't see their hands.

Plus, there's a promo for another show on the bottom right corner, which could have been better used if a local ophthalmologist bought the space as an advertisement for his business.

Is this the Bloomberg News stock report, or is there actually Dodgers-Marlins score buried in there somewhere?

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It's probably not polite to begin thrashing and bashing away at something that's just up and running after a few days — that's true whether it's a Fontana food truck, Tarzana tanning salon or Glendora gentleman's club.

But in a way, Fox seems to have forced us into doing this. Almost as forced as most of the scripted ad-lib jokes that the anchors, panelists and hosts are trying to pass off as party favors.

Do us a favor already: Stop trying so hard.

Some of the early reviews should be telling.

One from Slate: “Everything on FS1 is acceptable without being remarkable.'

Another from the Hollywood Reporter: “Welcome to the crowded field, Fox Sports 1. You blend in well.'

And this from the actual Bloomberg Business News: “Fox Sports 1 will rise or fall according to the games on the field and not the games in the studio.'

They obviously haven't been watching as much as we have forced ourselves to do in a “Clockwork Orange' fashion that simply isn't healthy, even if you try to supplement the experience with some of Erin Andrews' prescribed probiotics and energy boost drinks.

The honeymoon period isn't over for us with FS1 and FS2, the latter of which we haven't even located on the menu yet but we have been told will offer up as its main event this weekend some women's pro soccer league playoffs.

Honestly, our first impressions are clouded a bit by hearing the voice in our head of a former employee who told us recently the way he saw this whole thing playing out based on the company's recycling of ideas, talent and second-tier live events: Same garbage, different bags.

Not all of it is trashy, though. Something, perhaps, can be composted. Check with your local waste management provider.

Our immediate checklist of do's and dont's if you must watch from here on out until college football begins:

'¢ “Crowd Goes Wild' could have a longer run than “The Magic Hour,' if only because the network can't bring itself to carry out the euthanasia process (legal in California?) because it has invested too much in the start-up fees.

Here seems to be the premise: Four panelists try to teach Regis Philbin each day about what's cool in sports. And the 81-year-old is just content with looking into the camera, shrugging and cracking a smile, then looking off camera to see if Gelman is there to bail him out.

Georgie Thompson is no Kelly Ripa, but close enough with a British accent that could be supplemented with a closed-caption translation. Michael Kosta could badly use a joke writer, or continue to write his own bad jokes. Jason Gay appears to be a character from an old “Kids In The Hall' sketch. And Trevor Pryce might just eat them all up for lunch if the mood strikes.

'¢ Katie Nolan? OK, Katie Nolan. Text me when you're finished.

'¢ If has-been Terrell Owens, a guest on Tuesday's version of “CGW,' is trying to work his way onto the “Fox Football Daily' show, he won't be knocking Randy Moss of his crossing pattern any time soon.

'¢ “FFD' has not mentioned Tim Tebow yet, as far as we know. Bless you, Jay Glazer. And it's OK to talk now, Brian Urlacher, especially if you think someday you could sub in for Howie Long on the “NFL on Fox' set.

'¢ Mike Tyson can't be on every show, every day. But they could try. And it still wouldn't be compelling, no matter how many times he curses or promotes his latest project.

'¢ Charissa Thompson could try to be on every show, every day, by herself. Not saying a word. Just sitting there. Like a greeter at Red Robin. And we'd be fine with that.

'¢ O'Toole and Onrait are the Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time players who should be smart enough to realize they could carry this thing if they don't get carried away with themselves.

'¢ Can't say we've seen anything remarkable with the Fox soccer studio show, other than Eric Wynalda continues to be enamored with the cadence of his voice.

And just so you know, ESPN folks in Bristol, Conn., have been watching, and even commenting, on what they see so far.

ESPN is in the middle of hosting a media junket, giving access to how they attempt to do things. The most profound response came from ESPN president John Skipper, when asked why FS1 is only charging 23 cents a subscriber (for now) while ESPN manages to get in excess of $5 per sub per month:

“I'm happy for them. In 35 years they may find that compound increases are quite profound.'

That's assuming quite a bit at this juncture. Check back with us after 35 days.