Taking Spencer's Gifts seriously is kind of like taking The Situation seriously. But Buzzfeed found some t-shirts from the novelty gift store that must have been co-designed by Tucker Max and Satan himself.

Based on this garb, Spencer's Gifts thinks women — sorry, bitches and sluts — are only good for blow jobs, butt sex and beer. And that's only if they have large breasts.

Seriously, though, how are statements such as "When I want your opinion I'll take my dick out of your mouth, ""Before we fuck can you put this shirt over your face," and "Twinkle twinkle little slut, name one guy you haven't fucked" not hate speech? The only silver lining is that, if you see a guy wearing any one of these shirts, you'll know to run far, far away in the opposite direction.