Narcissists Are Not Accountable

Who me? I didn’t do it!

Lack of accountability is a pet peeve for sure, and also a common problem with narcissists. Although there are many disturbing factors in the personality of a narcissist, this one is tough to deal with in any relationship. It’s hard to understand. What is so difficult about owning up to mistakes when we’re wrong?

Have you ever met a perfect person who has never made a mistake? How about a perfect parent or a perfect family? I don’t think so. We all make mistakes and hopefully grow and learn from each one. Every failure becomes a significant stepping-stone for huge growth leaps in life if that is your worldview and you allow it to happen.

But, being accountable is difficult for a fragile self-esteem. For the narcissist, who has not developed a solid sense of self, and is emotionally stuck at a six-year old level, confrontation does not work well. In fact, when confronted, it is typical to see a six-year old temper tantrum that we call narcissistic rage.

Narcissists are not in touch with their own feelings. They project those feelings on to others and are not capable of empathy. They cannot put themselves into your shoes and feel or understand how something might affect you. They can only see how it affects them. They are hypersensitive to criticism and judgment, but constantly criticize and judge others. This is their way to make themselves feel bigger and better. Jealousy is common but they project it to say others are jealous of them. It makes your head spin. For those raised by narcissistic parents, it is truly crazy making...