Emotional and psychological
problems can be the cause of erectile dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction can be caused by psychological
problems and trauma in early life

Not everyone has an ideal childhood. Many men, far more
than is generally known perhaps, have had childhood abuse issues which include
sexual, emotional and even physical abuse.
Sexual abuse can leave a man sexually and emotionally vulnerable and lacking in
confidence, defensive and unable to relate to women in the way that is necessary
for a smooth and harmonious relationship. A man's problems may manifest as
sexual issues - a lack of trust, premature ejaculation at the start of his
sexual career, and later in life, erectile dysfunction, lack of desire, and lack
of intimacy. When a man is young, he has a high testosterone level, he feels
very sexy, he can overcome his sexual inhibitions through the simple power of
his sexual drive. Later in life, he is more vulnerable to his underlying sexual
and emotional issues; as his sex drive decreases, he needs more stimulation to get turned on -
and the sensuous
loving touch that he needs, the enduring reassurance that maintains intimacy,
and the caresses needed to arouse his body may be missing, especially if his
childhood taught him that physical
intimacy was dangerous or might lead to sexual exploitation or abuse of any
kind. A man who grew up with this may not be comfortable
with sexual intimacy as an adult; he may even avoid touch, and one day he may
find he cannot get an erection.

What childhood problems can cause erectile dysfunction
and impotence in adult men?

If a boy is not allowed to develop a healthy male
sexuality, for example if he is sexually abused or forced to take the role of
emotional support to his mother, or if their relationship becomes sexualized, he
will grow up with a distorted sense of what relationships with the opposite sex
are all about, and this will certainly inhibit his ability to form healthy
sexual relationships with women in adult life. Indeed, he may hold a
considerable amount of resentment and anger against women which prevents him
establishing any kind of intimate relationship and fully trusting women: his
level of anger may even be so high that he fucks women over rather than risk
them getting one over on him - this psychological position is hardly conducive
to successful sexual relationships. While a man may fuck women successfully when
he is young, as his testosterone levels drop, he may find that he can no longer
get an erection. Of course this is not inevitable - the outcome of these
problems depends on many factors, not least on how supportive and tolerant his
partner may be. It is not an exaggeration to say that nearly all psychological
and emotional issues in a relationship stem from childhood experiences. The
attitude of the men and women who cared for you in your childhood have more
influence over your sexual issues as an adult than anything else.

For men who were obliged to give selflessly of
themselves to support their mother's emotional needs, for example, the main
dynamic in their adult relationship is likely to be about putting their partner
first, giving away their power, and maybe not even being aware of their own
sexual needs. This can create a situation where a man gets out of touch with his
body, thus failing to be aroused in sexual situations, thus failing to get an
erection. Clearly, a treatment modality which aims to get a man back in touch
with his innate sexuality and male power, stop him giving himself away to his
partner, and ground him emotionally is what is needed - and that is part of what
is offered on this website.

Equally, if a man learned as a boy that what he did was
never good enough,
perfectionism will be a major theme in his adult relationships: thus he will try
harder and harder to satisfy his partner at the expense of his own sexual
pleasure. Another example would be when a boy learned in childhood that his sexuality
was in some sense his
mother's property - in his adult relationships he is likely to have problems
trusting women enough to establish real intimacy, and he may even prefer to be
on his own.

These are simple examples of how psychological problems in
childhood can extend into sexual issues as an adult, causing all manner of
sexual problems including impotence and erectile dysfunction. It's not hard to
relate examples such as the ones above to your own situation, and to establish a
sense of how you may have been affected as an adult by what happened in your
childhood. If you can establish the factors that may have been at work in your
erectile dysfunction, you're much closer to being able to solve the problem.
When you establish true closeness and intimacy, erections usually come fairly
readily.

A damaging mother - be that emotionally or physically -
can lead to a lot of problems, including a desire for meaningful male contact.
In extreme cases, this kind of mothering can lead a boy to make some kind of
childhood decision that he will never be safe with, or trust, women. Huge amounts of rage and anger towards women
can overcome a man's heterosexual
nature - in my opinion, sometimes so much so that a man manifests a gay
personality.

Any therapist who has worked with men who have erectile dysfunction that
originates in a psychological problem will know how challenging the condition is
for men. It can destroy a man's self-esteem and self-confidence, and completely
remove the desire to express yourself sexually in case you cannot get an
erection. But there is some good news: in most cases, erectile dysfunction can
be solved, or at the very least significantly improved.

Of course, if the erectile dysfunction originates in a
relationship issue, then the solution may involve big changes in your
relationship - perhaps even the end of the relationship. If sex is important to
you - and it is to most men - then regaining your potency will mean that you
have to face some challenges which up this point it may have been more
convenient to ignore. At the point where you feel you can no longer ignore the
deeper issues which contribute to erectile dysfunction, then you may have some
painful choices to make: do you go outside your primary relationship for sex,
for example, and if so, what does this mean to the future of that relationship?
Are you going to stay in the relationship but remain celibate? And if you do
decide to seek sex outside the relationship, is that a sign that the
relationship isn't worth preserving? These are very hard questions, and they
deserve your time and attention in a serious way. For one thing, if there are
relationship problems at the root cause of the erectile dysfunction which you're
experiencing, then you aren't going to be able to solve the problem with the
co-operation of your partner - you'll need to resolve the relationship issues
first.

And naturally, at this point, you need to begin thinking
about your partner's involvement in your erectile dysfunction. Is she pursuing
an agenda of her own, for example? Does she resent sexual demands being made on
her - does she in fact not like sex very much? Is it convenient for her that you
have erectile dysfunction, in that it alleviates her of the need to provide you
with sex? all in all, unless your partner is willing and able to discuss and
work through these issues with you, then progress towards a cure for your
erectile dysfunction - at least within your relationship - may be rather slow!

In the program for cure of erectile dysfunction that is
set out in this website we will work on the assumption that you have a partner
who is willing to co-operate, wishes to see your erectile dysfunction cured, and
is willing to engage in healthy discussion of any issues which come up in the
process of treatment. Even though the prospect may be daunting at this point,
the overall result is likely to be a very great improvement in the quality of
your relationship and a much more intimate relationship when you have dealt with
all the issues which you currently face. If you are willing to relax into
the process, give up your desire to
be rigid and perhaps controlling, and engage in a co-operative exercise with
your partner, then you stand every chance of recovering your potency in full.