Sometimes,
people make bad decisions. Jared Field will be here every week,
reminding people in the sports universe of their missteps (with a
little Libertarian politics sprinkled in -- he's tired of the leftists
at It's Just Sports), Friar's Club style.

This afternoon, I left work in downtown Detroit and, as I walked by the Westin Book Cadillac, I saw a group of about 25 men standing behind a barricade waiting for autographs.

I walked over to see what the fuss was all about and I was mortified to find that these losers were waiting for the signature of the head coach of the Carolina Hurricanes.

Are you kidding me, guys?

There might be one in 100 on the street who could pull that guy out of a police lineup, and you're pining for his autograph?

Pathetic.

Speaking of pathetic, Let's start this week's Roast with Lane Kiffin.

Former UT head coach Lane Kiffin ponders his next big lie.Lane Kiffin: I'd love to be able to write with the collective condemnation of the entire Volunteer Nation, but I'm only one man. Kiffin is a total douche, but only one in a long line of coaches who lie, cheat, steal and leave. Coaches like Kiffin come and go like opportunistic diseases on the college scene.

I can't say I was surprised when Kiffin left Tennessee after only one season. What surprised me was the willingness of USC, a historic program if there ever was one, to accept this snake oil salesman with open arms.

Let's set the shyster side of Kiffin on the back burner for now, and concentrate on what he's accomplished to be even considered for the USC job: In short, NOTHING.

As a head coach, Kiffin has a combined (college and NFL) record of 12-21. He was lucky to get the UT gig, to be honest.

This guy is a snake, no different than Nick Saban, Bobby Petrino or Dennis Franchione. And isn't a shame that we hold college students to higher standards than their coaches? The best things I've heard all week about Kiffin is this: He's a guy who was born on third base and walks around the park like he hit a triple.

Pathetic.

USC: The Trojans will get what's coming to them. Here's hoping Norv Turner retires soon and Kiffin bolts for the Bolts.

USA TodayWho needs hitters when you have a pretty decent closer?Dave Dombrowski: There's a time coming when the Detroit Tigers' General Manager will be able to split bus fare out of Detroit with another "D-named" GM who shall remain nameless. Dombrowski did the unthinkable on Thursday when he shelled out $14 million over two years for a closer.

The Detroit Tigers apparently have filled their void at the most important position on any contending team: ninth-inning closer.

The obvious problem there is that they're not a contender. The only reason they had a chance to get in the playoffs last season was that they had the good fortune of playing in the worst division in all of baseball.

And now, with a lineup that has, at best, two batters capable of hitting .300, only the biggest Detroit homers could consider this team a contender. And that's to say nothing about about the Tigers' defense without Polanco and Granderson.

$7 million bucks for a guy who won't even appear in more than 40 games? That's just too stupid for words.

The Detroit Pistons: Does anyone care about this franchise anymore? They aren't selling out games or creating any buzz because the product is awful. Keep in mind that young teams tend to lose a lot of games, but that doesn't mean that people can't get excited about the future. But, is anyone you know excited about this team's future? Heck no. The only hope that most of us have for this team is that they keep losing and earn more ping-pong balls for the John Wall lottery. They should tank -- heck, the Cavs did it for Lebron.