King of the run-on sentence...

This morning I wanted to play Thundering Herd of Elephants but Max was busy trying to get the Mom to get her lazy butt outta bed and I was disappointed but he said to go ahead and play with myself, because there's nothing wrong with that, so I did! I ran up and down the hall and made my feets thunder as loud as they could and you know what!? There was a blanket in the hall because someone left it there after they changed the sheets and I think they forgot about it because it's been there for like forever, and when I was running I jumped on it and I surfed down the hall on it! That was great fun! When the Mom got up she went into her litter box room and I was gonna play for a little bit longer while I waited for her to come out and open cans of Stinky Goodness but then I thought I better go make room for it so i went to my litter box and then when the Mom came out of her litter box room she said "Oh my god Buddah! hat crawled up in your a$$ and died???" but I couldn't answer her because I never saw anything go anywhere near my butt, and I sure didn't feel it crawl inside.

I have been very very very busy helping the Mom work lately. Here I am telling her that it's time to get back to work:

She says I'm being very helpful while I lie on her desk and block her view of the monitor, which I think is a good thing because I'm trying hard to be helpful, and sometimes I even touch the ENTER key on the keyboard for her which creates new and interesting paragraphs and she's very polite because she always says, "Gee, thanks for that."

My job would be easier if she would clean all the krap off her desk but I don't think that's ever going to happen because there's a lot of it and if she stopped to clean it up she might never get any work done.