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For the sake of journalism (and science!), brave soul Gavon Laessig tried the mysterious grooming practice known as “pejazzling” and lived to write about every hairy (and, then, not so hairy) detail on Buzzfeed. The long and the short of it: Laessig drank a lot of white wine, selected a heart-shaped pejazzle pattern (the “Enter Here” design was a contender — but not really), and then removed his pants. His pejazzle area was really sweaty — he blames the overhead lighting, but we all know it was fear — so it took several tries for the aesthetician, Enrique, to get the rhinestones to stick. But then, success! “I feel like a new, fancier, textured man,” Laessig writes. Other important details: The whole process hurt and might cause infection if he doesn’t put Neosporin on the area for the next few days. (Please remember to do that, Gavon.)