Inside This House

Chapter 13 The sun hovered at the edge of Lake Travis, splashing orange liquid fire across the water's surface. A cheer rose up as it sank out of sight, and the sound of tinkling glass rang out as the diners toasted another perfect sunset at the Oasis. "Cheers." Kennedy held up a virgin margarita, smiling as Carson clinked a mug of the real thing against it. "'Cheers." Carson smiled back at her. "To us," she added softly. "To us," Kennedy agreed whole-heartedly. It was a warm night with a gentle breeze drifting in off the lake. It lifted Kennedy's bangs from her forehead and sifted through her long hair, whipping it up for a moment before it settled around her shoulders again. She wore a navy blue Harley-Davidson t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, revealing a pair of nicely-toned biceps. The shirt fit close, stretching across her chest over an even nicer pair of curves. Candlelight from the table sparkled in her eyes, and from Carson's vantage point, she was more breath-taking than ever. "Thank you." She took a sip of her margarita. "You're welcome." Kennedy quirked one eyebrow in question. "Was that general or is there something specific?" "Both." Carson leaned forward, setting her mug on the table and swirling her straw around, poking at the ice cubes. "Mostly for not trying to surprise me." "I was going to." Kennedy studied the bowed blonde head. "But I thought -- maybe you needed to know what I had planned instead of being blind-sided." "I appreciate it." Carson looked up, a soft smile gracing her lips. "Most times, I like your surprises. But this time --" She trailed off, looking down, the smile gone. "That's why I told you about it." Kennedy's smile disappeared as well. Carson looked back up, her heart aching at the pain in those blue eyes. "I'm sorry, K. Lousy timing, huh?" "Eh." Kennedy shrugged, effecting a complacency she didn't feel. "It is what it is. Most of life doesn't go according to plan. I never planned on going to Dallas for a seminar and falling in love." "I don't think either of us planned on that." Carson sat back in her chair. "A year ago, I would never have dreamed I'd be sitting here at my anniversary dinner with the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with." "And six months ago I would have asked you if you were sure. Now --" Kennedy tilted her head to the side, her hair obscuring part of her face. "Now, I know the answer to that question. I just wish --" "I'm sorry this is so hard on you." Carson pursed her lips inward. It hurt, knowing her own walls were causing the ache in her lover's eyes. It hurt more feeling powerless to make things better. "I do need you to believe I'm sure, because I am. If anything, your patience with me makes me more certain than ever." "Everything happens for a reason, whether we see it coming or not." Kennedy pushed the hair away from her face. "Maybe it's the unplanned moments that count the most." "I remember one thing we didn't plan on." Carson smiled, her eyes dreamy. "That night a year ago, when we went dancing. And then afterward, back at the house. I felt completely safe, and completely unafraid." "Mmm. I remember that long ride home from the dance club. If things hadn't gone the way they did, I was going to need to spend the night in a cold shower." She leaned forward, risking the flirtation she knew was in her eyes. "You were killing me with those dance moves." "Am I killing you now?" Carson asked quietly. "Here's where you'd usually get my flip response of 'always'." Kennedy reached over, touching the back of Carson's hand, stroking it lightly with her fingertip. "You mean too much to me for that. This is almost like starting over. You have all the time you need, Carson. I'm not just waiting for you. I want to come along for the ride, in whatever capacity you need me." "I don't want you to just ride." Carson turned her hand over, palm up, taking Kennedy's hand. "If you'd like, I want us to be co-pilots on this journey." "I'd like that more than anything." Kennedy looked up as the waitress brought the check. After paying the bill, she fished her keys out of her pocket and they made their way to the truck for the drive to the wilderness preserve. When they arrived, Carson got out of the truck and looked around. The sky was completely clear and out there away from the lights, the stars twinkled in abundance overhead. "Hard to believe the city is so nearby," she commented, as Kennedy came around to join her, a blanket rolled up under one arm. "That's why I moved out to the lake - close to the conveniences but with the benefits of being out in the country." She shrugged. "I grew up looking at the stars. I'm not sure I could ever live where there are so many lights at night. Where we live -- it's the best of both worlds." "It's the best possible world." Carson smiled and tucked a hand into the crook of her elbow. "Are we going to do the guided tour?" "We can, if you'd like." Kennedy nodded toward the visitor's center where a group was gathering around a park ranger. "Let's join them and see what happens." Carson steered both of them toward the group. "We can always go off on our own if we want. Not like we don't both know the stars pretty well." "True." They stood, listening to the guide's spiel, then followed along behind as he directed the star-gazers down a path that led to a clearing on a hillside. There were a good two-dozen people in the group, most of them appearing to be couples. "Okay, everyone spread your blankets out and lay back. If you've brought binoculars or small telescopes, get them ready as well. Once you're all settled, I'll point out tonight's most visible objects in the night sky." The guide stood to one side, patiently waiting as his charges chose their spots and got comfortable. "Everyone ready?" A chorus of positive murmurs answered him. "Good. First thing I'd like to point out is that we have a quarter moon tonight --" Carson let the words wash over her, barely paying attention. They both knew their night sky. Her senses whizzed right past the blanket of stars overhead, focusing in on the long, warm body settled on the blanket next to her. Kennedy lay stretched out, her head cradled in her crossed arms, which rested against one of two small camping pillows she'd brought along. She was looking studiously upward, her chest rising and falling in a slow, steady rhythm. Turning her head fully, Carson took in her silhouette, the high cheek bones, the strong chin, the gentle curve of her breasts, and her stomach, stretched out and concave when she was lying down. A bump indicated her belt buckle, and looking further down, Carson could see a pair of round knee caps peeking out from below the hem of a pair of cargo shorts. It was a body she knew quite well, and one that she'd come to associate with comfort on many levels. Inhaling, she took in the scent of cedar and sagebrush, and the scent of the detergent the blanket had been washed in. She scooted closer to Kennedy and took another breath, closing her eyes as her nostrils flared. Warm skin and spicy perfume, mixed with just a hint of Kennedy's natural musky scent filled her up and she began to relax there, under the stars, with the drone of the guide's voice floating past them. The breeze caressed her skin and though it was warm, goose bumps skittered across her arms. She rolled closer, hesitantly reaching out and placing one hand against Kennedy's stomach, then slowly, she inched up until her head was lying against a strong shoulder. Kennedy swallowed audibly, then Carson felt a long arm drape loosely against her back, Kennedy's hand curling around her arm. "Cold?" Kennedy gave her arm a little rub, the flat of her hand brushing over more goose bumps. "No." Carson sighed and closed her eyes. "I just needed you." "You got me," Kennedy whispered. She began a gentle stroking up and down Carson's back and arm and Carson curled more solidly against her. It felt so good, it brought tears to her eyes and feeling a soft kiss to her forehead, those tears escaped, making a damp spot on Kennedy's t-shirt. She sniffled and received another kiss to the head, as Kennedy held her closer, not saying a word. When the tour was over, they walked back to the truck, this time hand in hand. Kennedy opened the passenger door and helped her inside. As she started to close it, Carson reached out, tugging at her t-shirt and grabbing the material into her fist, pulling Kennedy forward. She reached over with her other hand and caressed Kennedy's face, then drew closer and brushed her lips against Kennedy's once, then twice. "Thank you," she whispered. Kennedy's eyes shone and she smiled, lifting Carson's hand and kissing the inside of her wrist. She closed the truck door and as soon as she got into the truck, Carson reached across, resting her hand on Kennedy's thigh as they drove to the resort. It was late, past midnight when they checked in. Walking across the lobby their hiking boots sounded loud against marble floors. It was a beautiful place, decorated in what Carson could best describe as Texas tasteful -- lots of wood and leather, with western artwork on the walls, but no chairs made from saddles, though one lone cow print chair did grace one corner of the lobby. They followed the bell cart to their suite and waited politely as the bellhop retrieved their luggage. "Which bedrooms do you want these in?" He asked. Kennedy opened her mouth, then closed it. "All in the master bedroom," Carson answered. Kennedy let go of her hand long enough to retrieve her wallet for a tip, and Carson took the opportunity to slide in next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and hooking one thumb in Kennedy's back pocket, her hand curling across Kennedy's hip just above her butt cheek. At last they fully entered the space and Carson's jaw dropped open. "Good lord, K. This place is bigger than our house." "Almost," Kennedy agreed. She tipped the bellhop as he finished moving about the room, turning on and dimming various lamps. He left and they stood on opposite sides of the living area, staring at each other. "Ooo, champagne and strawberries." Carson pointed at a silver bucket on a table near the window, its sides coated in cold sweat as the ice inside slowly melted. It was dark outside and she suspected if they turned the lights off, they could still see the stars. She tucked that thought away for later. A small ceramic pot sat on a tiny hot plate, fragrant steam rising as Kennedy lifted its lid. "And hot fudge for dipping." She was relieved the brief moment of awkwardness had passed. That hadn't happened in a very long time. She popped the cork on the chilled champagne and poured it into two frosty glasses, handing one to Carson as she joined her. "To us," Carson raised her glass against Kennedy's as she repeated their earlier toast. She took a sip, enjoying the sensation of dry fruity bubbles popping against her tongue. Picking up a strawberry, she swirled it around in chocolate and lifted it, offering Kennedy a bite. Kennedy stepped forward, taking the gift and biting down, closing her eyes as tart strawberry and sweet chocolate gushed inside her mouth. She returned the favor, offering Carson a strawberry, and they took turns, trading bites as their eyes danced together to a new and unknown tune. It was uncertain where they were going, but the journey was enjoyable. "You have a little bit of chocolate --" Carson reached up, trailing a fingertip along Kennedy's lower lip. She collected the chocolate and drew the finger into her own mouth, sucking at it as Kennedy watched her with uncertain eyes. "Didn't quite get it all." Carson closed the space between them and reached up, drawing Kennedy's lips to her own and savoring them for a long, sweet moment. Carefully, Kennedy wrapped her arms around Carson, enjoying the most intimate kiss they'd shared in a few weeks. Unsure of how far it would go, she held on loosely until she felt Carson's arms reach up, curling around her neck as their bodies pressed together. Taking the invitation, she squeezed Carson more tightly, resisting the urge to slip her knee between Carson's thighs. In a small fuzzy part of her brain she thought about that, about her natural inclinations when it came to Carson, and how all roads seemed to lead to sex whenever they were physically intimate. Maybe this one was leading that same way, and maybe it wasn't. She hated the circumstances that caused it, but on another level, she was enjoying the mystery and a certain type of flirting they had almost left behind. "I think we should go to bed." Carson searched her eyes and pressed a finger against her lips. "I can't. Not yet. But I do need to be close to you. Is that okay?" "More than okay." Kennedy smiled and kissed Carson's fingertip, turning out lights as they made their way to the master suite. At a double sink they washed their faces and brushed their teeth, then went back into the bedroom. Kennedy turned her back and undressed, then knelt down, digging in her suitcase for a t-shirt. She retrieved it and turned around, to find Carson directly in front of her. "Don't." Carson pried the shirt from a surprised fist and dropped it back into the bag. Without making eye contact, she grasped the waistband of Kennedy's underwear and pulled them down until they fell to the floor. She looked up and touched Kennedy's face, stroking her cheek with the back of her hand. "I'm -- going to turn out the light." She clicked off the lamp beside the bed, leaving them in darkness. As her eyes adjusted to the low light from outside the window, Kennedy heard Carson stirring and then a fluff of air as something landed on the floor beside them. Before she could think, two arms pushed past her own and Carson's naked body pressed against her, hugging her close, belly-to-belly. She automatically returned the hug, holding Carson in a strong embrace, both arms wrapped solidly against Carson's back. "Can you sleep with me like this, even if we don't do anything?" Carson kissed her chest, just above Kennedy's breast. It was making her crazy but there was only one answer. "Absolutely." They crawled under the covers and Carson rolled to her side, her back to Kennedy. "It's okay -- you can -- um " Kennedy curled against her, Carson's hamstrings pressed against her thighs, her behind against Kennedy's lap. Her own nipples hardened and she slipped backward just enough that they weren't pressing against Carson's back. Slowly, she wrapped an arm around Carson and sighed quietly as she felt Carson's hand cover her own. "This is nice," Kennedy murmured. "Very." Carson looked out the window, where the curtains were still open. She could see stars. "It's so beautiful out there, isn't it?" Carson scooted back until there was no space between them at all. There was no avoiding the nipple contact, her body plastered against Carson, knowing Carson could feel them against her upper back. "Sorry," Kennedy apologized. "I can't help it." "It's alright." Carson took Kennedy's hand, drawing it upward in the darkness, until it was cupped around Carson's breast, her nipple pressing against Kennedy's palm. "Neither can I. I think my body wants you, even though my brain is a little short-circuited at present." "It's alright, baby." Kennedy spread her fingers slightly, allowing the lovely weight to fill her hand. She made no overtly sexual movement, but instead curled herself around Carson as much as she could, forming a protective cocoon for Carson to sleep in. "I've got you. Go to sleep now. I'll take care of you. I promise." "I love you," Carson whispered, her body rapidly relaxing as sleep claimed her. "I love you, too." Kennedy kissed the back of her neck. Kennedy lay awake for a long time, watching the star patterns change outside. She could feel Carson breathing, feel her body next to her, and at long last, there was no tension there, only Carson, fully-relaxed and comfortable in Kennedy's arms. It was sweet and in that moment she knew that eventually, their world would be right again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Carson eyed the hole and wiggled her behind a little, taking a delicate grip on the putter. With a precise swing she tapped the ball, watching breathlessly as it rolled across the green in an arc and curved around, rolling around the rim of the hole before it fell in. "Whoo-hoo!" She did a little happy dance around the green. "One under par! You owe me, now." Kennedy smiled and slid her own putter into her bag, then took a long swig from an almost-empty bottle of water. "I should know better than to bet with you when it comes to golf." "Welllll." Carson sauntered over, trailing a lazy fingertip down her arm. "Considering you were only one stroke up on me, I guess I should go easy on you." "Oh, no. You won, fair and square. What did you have in mind?" Kennedy leaned back against the golf cart, crossing her arms. "Shopping, I think." Carson's eyes twinkled. "In the pro shop." "Now that's my kind of shopping." Kennedy grinned and ruffled her head. "You want to hit the pool? We have a couple of hours before our massage." "I -- " Carson looked down. "I didn't pack a swimsuit." "We can buy you one." Kennedy studied her, then mentally slapped her own forehead. "Or we could hit that private Jacuzzi room in the spa area. I can reserve it just for the two of us." "I'd like that." Carson appeared relieved. Kennedy herself was relieved. It was a minefield, this eating disorder thing. Not that Carson had a problem with food at present, but for whatever blasted reason, she was having body image issues that seemed random. Apparently she was now fine naked in the dark, and she was okay with going naked into a private Jacuzzi, but she wasn't okay with a swimsuit in the more-public pool in broad daylight. Kennedy shook her head a little. "Alright. How about we head back, then?" "Sounds good. Maybe we can get a smoothie, too. Lunch wasn't quite enough for me." It was something, that they could talk about food casually. "Yeah. Those were girly sandwiches. A smoothie would be great. You want to drive?" "Oh, yeah!" Carson grinned and hopped into the cart, turning the key and releasing the brake. In no time they were back at the main club house and Carson pulled the cart in directly behind the truck where they both shed their golf shoes for casual flip-flops. "Let's save shopping for tomorrow." "Alright." Kennedy hoisted both golf bags into the hatch and closed it, just as a caddy came running up to take the cart for them. She tipped him and went around, opening the passenger door. Carson climbed in and soon they were back at the hotel, with a detour to the smoothie bar before they headed for the spa. "We can shower there and use their robes for walking back to the room." Kennedy sucked at he smoothie straw, inhaling half the drink by the time they reached the spa area. "Sounds like a plan." Carson followed her into the dressing room, finishing off her own smoothie. They were alone in the middle of the day and Carson relaxed, glad for no prying eyes. She felt raw inside, which translated into exposed on the outside. It was something she hadn't tried to explain to Kennedy yet, but she was fairly certain Kennedy instinctively understood, based upon the taller woman's behavior. Carson slipped into a curtained changing cubicle and shed her clothes, exchanging them for a plush terrycloth robe. "I'm going on in," she called out, glad for the opportunity to slip into the bubbling water without being watched. The small private room smelled of chlorine and Epsom salts. Lavender scented votive candles burned in small holders all along the back edge, casting flickering light against the tiled wall. She slipped out of the robe and hung it on a peg, then eased her way down the steps until she was submerged up to her neck. "God," she moaned. It felt wonderful, the hot, pounding bubbles going to work on muscles that were much too tense. Kennedy peeked around the corner and then slid past the door, padding across the steamy tiled floor. "Can I join you?" "Of course." Carson watched, her senses heightened by the jet massage. Kennedy had the most elegant, amazing body and as she shed her robe, Carson's breath quickened for a moment. "You're beautiful," Carson commented quietly, as Kennedy made her way down the steps on impossibly long legs. "Thank you." Kennedy nodded her head graciously and settled across from her, stretching her arms out along the tub's rim. She closed her eyes, her head lolled back, as rivulets of steam beaded on her face and began to run down her neck to her cleavage, before disappearing into the water. Carson licked her lips, realizing she wanted very much to taste Kennedy's skin. Smoothly, she floated across the short space and straddled Kennedy's lap, facing her. "Is this okay?" Surprised blue eyes widened and then crinkled into a smile. Kennedy reached over and smoothed Carson's wet hair back, then settled her hands lightly at Carson's hips. "Babe, this is always okay." She winked and then gasped, the lightest puff of air, as Carson ducked her head and took an experimental lick at her collarbone. "Sorry. I just needed to do that." Carson blushed. Kennedy gulped, her mind and body torn in two different directions, and very grateful they were in a place where they probably shouldn't make love even under the best of circumstances. If they'd been in the tub in their room, she wasn't sure how much longer her control would have held out. "No need to apologize." Kennedy closed her eyes, as Carson ducked her head again, this time licking slowly across from shoulder to shoulder, before she lifted her head and their lips met for a timeless while. "I think I want --" Carson buried her face into Kennedy's shoulder and Kennedy held her, rubbing her back and making little shushing noises as Carson nuzzled her neck. "It's okay, Carson. Don't push yourself." She glanced at the clock on the wall. "Not the best place for this anyway, huh?" She felt Carson nod. "Besides, it's time to go shower so we can meet the massage therapist." "You go first." Carson's voice shook. "They have more than one shower," Kennedy touched her cheek, waiting for eye contact. "No, I mean you get out of here, first. I'll come in there after you." Carson's eyes took on a detached expression. "Can I ask you something?" Kennedy eased away from her, just a little, though she was still sitting across her lap. Carson nodded. "Why can you sit like this with me, but you can't let me look at you?" "It's hard to explain." Carson looked down, then looked up, meeting her gaze. "I like feeling close to you, I'm just not comfortable with the idea of you watching me right now. I guess that's kind of crazy." "No, it makes perfect sense." Kennedy tugged at a lock of short blonde hair. "Okay, I'm headed for the shower, but I'll wait to walk back to the room with you." "Alright." Carson waited a reasonable amount of time and made her way to the shower area. The hot water felt good and she lingered, feeling it wash off more than suntan lotion and chlorine. As she entered her cubicle, her clothing was gone. "K, someone stole my clothes." "No." Kennedy rounded the corner, clad in a clean white robe. "The attendant took them. They'll wash them and return them to our room later. I have our wallets." She patted a bulge in her robe pocket. "Oh. How cool is that." Carson slid her feet into her flip flops and they walked back to the room, where two massage tables were already set up, along with two female massage therapists, who waited patiently for them in the front room while they disrobed and slipped under warm, smooth sheets on the tables. Carson closed her eyes. The massage felt good, a deep tissue one, designed to work all the stress out of her body. "You must workout," the therapist commented. "Yeah, we both do," Carson answered. "Almost every day." "I can tell. You're about the healthiest pair of bodies I've seen in a while." The comments were observant, non-threatening and non-invasive, and Carson allowed it to settle into a place that really needed to hear it. She did have a healthy body, one she'd worked damned hard for, with hours of running, lifting, and stomach crunches. She wasn't in high school anymore, and no one was judging her, least of all Kennedy. Opening her eyes, she looked across to the other table. Kennedy's face was turned toward her, her eyes closed, her face a study in absolute bliss as the therapist worked on her upper back. It was a smooth back, soft and firm at the same time. Carson felt something flutter low in her belly, a pleasant quickening of her blood she hadn't experienced so strongly in a very long time. At that moment Kennedy opened her eyes and cast one long look of silent, open desire in her direction, then closed her eyes again. It was like a shot of endorphins directly to the groin. Carson swallowed hard and squeezed her eyes closed, hoping her skin wasn't as flushed as her brain cells were. She was glad they had dinner reservations, and time to order her scattered thoughts, which were happily chasing after the gorgeous and very desirable body ten feet away from her. After a while, she let the massage take over, relaxing more and more, until she was half-dozing as the therapist performed a light scalp massage as her final treatment. "All done." The therapist placed a thick, warm bath sheet on top of the thin sheet that had been covering Carson. "One fresh microwaved towel," the therapist joked. "Take your time getting off the table. You don't want to get dizzy. And make sure and drink at least a quart of water this evening. "Okay." Carson forced her eyes open. "Thanks. It was divine." "You're welcome." Both therapists left the room with their baskets of oils and lotions in tow. A CD of nature sounds continued to play on the stereo across the room, and the sun was sinking low in the sky, outside the window. "I feel like spaghetti," Carson sighed blissfully, stretching her arms out over her head. She turned, receiving a softened version of Kennedy's earlier wanton expression. "What?" "Your -- um --" Kennedy gestured toward Carson's chest. Carson looked down to spy both breasts exposed from her cat-like stretch. "Oh. Sorry." She pulled the sheet over herself. Kennedy was sitting up, and she shook her head and smiled, looking down. Several cheeky responses were on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to tease and play with her lover, but she wasn't sure how Carson would receive it. Finally, she looked up. "No worries. Nicest view I've seen all day," she added quickly. Before Carson could answer, Kennedy slipped off the table and headed for the bedroom to dress for dinner. Carson watched her, her eyes thoughtful. Finally, she slid off her own table and followed after her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The wait-staff cleared away their dinner plates, while their primary waitress arrived at the table with a large piece of cheesecake and two forks. Raspberry sauce was drizzled over the cake and along the edge of the plate in a zigzag pattern, and a nest of mint leaves bore three raspberries. "That's huge!" Carson eyed the slice, which was roughly half the size of a football. "That's why I suggested we order one piece." Kennedy picked up a fork and took a modest bite of their dessert. "Oh, my god. That is fabulous." Carson watched her enjoy the decadent treat and started laughing. "What's so funny?" Kennedy paused in mid-chew. "When I first met you, you acted like sugar and fat grams were the devil." Carson snickered. "Look at you now." "I've developed more than a few vices, living with you." Kennedy's eyes twinkled. It had been a wonderful dinner - Mexican fiesta night with hand-made tamales, and all the fixings. Conversation between them had been easy -- easy enough that for a little while she had been able to forget all the issues they were working through. It was like being out on a normal date, except this one was special. "Thank you." Carson reached across, taking a forkful of cheesecake and savoring it. "For?" Kennedy paused as the waitress brought two cups of Kahlua and coffee to the table. She added a splash of cream and took a sip. "For not getting weird about food with me. I mean, for not censoring your conversation about it. And for not being any different about it than in the past - like suggesting we share dessert." She took another forkful of the cake and this time offered it across the table, watching as Kennedy tilted her head slightly, then reached up with one fingertip to help guide the fork to her mouth, before she took the offering, sucking slightly on the fork as she released it. It was sexy as hell, all the more so because Carson was fairly certain it wasn't intentional. "For making this anniversary special, even though I've not made that very easy for you." "I don't want to treat you any differently than I did before. I knew the portions were huge here. I would have suggested sharing with anyone, and it seems kind of silly to order two when I know both of us well enough to know we wouldn't be able to eat more than one." Kennedy swallowed and took another sip of coffee. "I don't see you as having a problem with food, at least not now, and I didn't know you when you did. I do think you have some issues with your perception of how I see you now, but that seems to be separate from any past food issues. Am I correct?" "Yes." Carson doctored her own coffee and inhaled the sweet scent of it, before she took a sip. "I know a lot of what I'm feeling is me mixing up my feelings about how my parents treated me back then, with my feelings for you, now. It's not fair to you, but I can't help it. It's something I have to work through." "I kind of figured." Kennedy reached across, touching her hand. "I just want to be with you, Carson. I know we haven't exchanged any vows yet, but I believe in that 'for better or for worse' part. I -- hope you know you can count on me to be here for you all the time, not just when things are going smoothly." "I know. Now, more than ever." Carson twined their fingers. "Oh, I have something for you. It's back in the room, though. But I'd like to give it to you now." "Right now?" Kennedy looked regretfully at the half-eaten cheesecake. Carson laughed again. "I think I've created a monster." She smiled warmly, wanting nothing more than to crawl across the table and into Kennedy's arms. "But one I want to keep. Let's finish this. The gift can wait until we're back in the room." "Can it wait until after a moonlight walk?" Kennedy's eyes softened. "I have something for you, too, but it's so nice out, I kind of wanted to get some fresh air before we go back inside." "Sure. Sounds lovely, actually." Carson cast a quizzical expression in her direction. "Hmmm." They finished the dessert and Kennedy signed the tab for the room. Slipping out a side door, they stepped out into a rare pleasant summer evening. Autumn was just around the corner, and the temperature was a balmy 75 degrees, according to a thermometer on the wall beside the pool. "Nice night," Kennedy commented. She shoved her hands into her pockets and Carson curled a hand around her forearm. "Even nicer," she added quietly. A footpath led them along the outside of the hotel and toward a nature trail. It had been a while since Kennedy had been down that path, but she recalled a clearing she hoped was as pretty by starlight as it was during the daytime. Carson felt a sense of peace settle over her and she released a long breath, feeling a week's worth of stress flow out of her body. She eased her hand off Kennedy's arm and slid it around her waist, pressing her hand into Kennedy's back pocket and giving her butt cheek a little squeeze. "You making a pass at me?" Kennedy looked over, raising one very hopeful eyebrow. "Maybe." Carson squeezed her again. "I'd like to be. I think." Kennedy made no comment, but draped her own arm across Carson's shoulders. They might be co-pilots, but until Carson handed her the keys, in this, Carson was going to have to drive. She was fairly certain it wasn't the liquor talking. They'd had one margarita each and way too much Mexican food. The kahlua in the coffee had been negligible. Oh, well, she tossed up a mental hand. If things led back to the bedroom, at least she wouldn't have to turn Carson down based upon impaired faculties. One thing she had resolved firmly, a long time ago. Sex on a buzz was fun and usually a little bit of crazy fun at that. Make-up sex on a buzz, however, was taboo. It had to be with no potential for regret the next morning. And this, it wasn't exactly make-up sex. They were getting along very well, all things considered. No, this, when it happened was going to be a homecoming, and for that -- she wanted both of them to be fully in the moment. They made their way up a sharp incline to the top of a hill, and reached the clearing. It was everything she hoped it would be. In the distance, they could see the lights of Austin and overhead a million stars twinkled in the night sky. "Oh, how beautiful." Carson pointed toward the city skyline. "Is that little orange dot the UT tower?" "Yep. They must've beat Notre Dame this afternoon." "Sweet!" Carson pumped a fist. "Nothing like a victory on the road before the first conference game." "Speaking of." Kennedy pulled an envelope from her pocket. "This is part of your anniversary gift." "Oh?" Carson took the offering and opened it. "Careful. Don't want to lose any of it." Kennedy moved in beside her and held up a tiny penlight she kept on her keychain. "Oh, K." Carson thumbed through a set of thin cardboard tickets. "Season tickets to football, women's basketball, and softball? Awesome!" "Yep. The football tickets will also get us first choice for one of the new suites with admission to the private club, once they finish it. Ditto on basketball - I got us a suite for the season. We can invite our friends to game parties." "I'd really like that." Carson looked up at her. "One of the things I've been needing is to establish some solid friendships here. Not that I don't love being with you nearly all the time, but --" "I understand." Kennedy draped her arm across Carson's shoulder again. "I know you were a pretty social person back in Dallas. I want you to have friends and have the kind of life you need to have, to be happy." "Kind of hard on you, though." Carson placed the tickets back in the envelope. "You're a lot more solitary than I am." "It'll be good for me, babe." Kennedy rubbed her arm. "I figure between my friends and the new ones you've been making at work, there will never be a dull moment when we have them over. I think we -- both of us -- need to have a lot more laughter in our lives than we've been having lately, don't you think?" "Yeah, I do." Carson smiled. "I'm glad you understand." "I have something else." Kennedy withdrew a small box from her other pocket. "I need to explain it to you, but open it, first." "Okay." Carson studied Kennedy's face for a moment, then pulled a black satin ribbon from around the small, brushed-metal container. "Nice box." She opened it and withdrew a bracelet. "Oh, K. It's gorgeous." It was a series of simple, thick, black and silver links. Dangling from the clasp were two small entwined hearts, one black and one silver. It was masculine in appearance, save for the charm, and Carson immediately loved it more than any other piece of jewelry she owned, save their engagement rings. She hefted it in her fist. "It's heavy. Will you put it on my wrist, please?" "Certainly." Kennedy took it from her. "It's black and silver titanium. I had it custom made for you." She clipped it together and took Carson's hand, brushing the inside of her palm with her thumb. "After -- everything -- I wanted to get you something that would reflect how I feel about you. This is strong and solid and simply beautiful. And the two little hearts - they can't be separated. I believe in you, Carson, and no matter what you're going through right now, this IS how I see you. I know I can be over-protective, but you see this little black heart? It's holding on with all its might, not just to protect the silver heart, but because it wants to be a part of all that strength and beauty. And something else - the silver heart is the one attached to the main bracelet. If not for it, the black heart would be lost." Without a word, Carson reached out, hugging Kennedy, both arms wrapped solidly around her. "I love it," she whispered. "I love you." She looked up. "It will be better, Kennedy. I -- we're getting there." "I know." Kennedy looked down, cradling Carson's face in her hand. She held her breath, searching eyes that reflected a lot less fear and confusion than earlier in the day. "I -- can I --?" Before Kennedy could finish her question, Carson stood on her toes and pulled her close, making contact in a dizzying kiss. There was no hesitation -- no caution -- just a sweet, solid, comforting union full of promise, as they gently and then hungrily explored each other in a way that was new and familiar all at the same time. "I think --" Carson broke off and took both of Kennedy's hands in her own. "I want to go back to the room. There's some things I need to say to you, and a gift I want to give you. After that -- I don't know. I can't make any promises just yet. I wish --" "It's okay." Kennedy touched her cheek and then her lips. "It's the journey that matters, not the destination." "I think that should be our motto, from now on." Carson kissed her one more time, then took her hand and led her back to the room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ They entered the suite and Carson led Kennedy to a chair near the sitting room window. "Have a seat. I'll be right back." She smiled and backed away, rounding the corner and entering the bedroom. "Oh, my god!" Carson's astonished voice drifted back to the front room. "What's the matter?" Kennedy got up and followed after her. "Oh. Sorry. I forgot about this. I made the reservations over a month ago." Several floating candles illuminated the room, and red, white, and pink rose petals were strewn in abundance across the carpet and the comforter. On one nightstand sat a platter of rich-looking truffles and on the other was a chilled bucket of champagne. It was perfect for romance. Kennedy just wasn't certain romance was in the plans. "It's beautiful." Carson slowly turned in a circle, taking it all in. "The rose petals smell really sweet. Oh." She moved across to the dresser and opened her overnight case, lifting a narrow box tied up with a bright blue ribbon. "This is what I got you. I hope you like it. Sometimes things like this can be a very personal choice." She held it out and Kennedy took it, curious fingers pushing the ribbon off the box. She removed the lid and looked down. A Tag Hauer watch was nestled in a bed of cotton, its silver and gold links twinkling at her in the low light. The face was black and a diamond chip graced the spot for twelve o'clock. "It's gorgeous." Plucking it up, she started to put it on. "Hold on." Carson stepped closer. "It's waterproof to 120 meters. You're always on the go -- working, running -- sometimes on your lunch break. Then you come home and we go to the gym or for a swim, and we play golf and ride the horses. I just thought maybe you needed a watch that would look nice enough for work but you wouldn't have to remove for all the sporty things you do. I had a little something engraved on the back."

"Gorgeous and practical," Kennedy amended. She turned it over, leaning closer and studying the markings she found there. "What's this?" "It's the symbol for infinity." Carson pointed to the etchings. "And that's our initials inside each of the loops, see? 'K' and 'C.' I feel like you and I are forever. I wanted to get you something that expresses that." Completely impractical, totally heart-melting mush. Kennedy smiled. "I couldn't love it more." Kennedy wrapped it around her wrist, holding it in place while Carson clipped it together. Carson took both her hands and held them, tugging Kennedy close and standing on her toes, pulling her in for a kiss. It was sweet and passionate, and for a very long moment everything felt normal again. Carson pulled back and touched her cheek. "Happy anniversary." "Happy anniversary to you, too." Kennedy hugged her, stroking her back and resting her chin on Carson's head. "I am so completely in love with you," she whispered. "I want so badly to understand how you're feeling. I wish I could help -- listen to you -- I'd do anything to help you get back to a comfortable place again." "This is a good start," Carson murmured, squeezing her and reveling in the solid sensation of their joined bodies. "I'll try to explain what I'm feeling. I think you deserve that. Sit?" She released Kennedy, gesturing toward a love seat near the window. They both sat down, propping their feet up on the matching ottoman. "It would help if you could at least clue me in as to why you're comfortable lying naked with me in the dark, but not comfortable going to the pool out there in a swimsuit." "It's like I said in the Jacuzzi, it's the part where you'd be watching me," Carson confessed. "Remember I said after my parents found out what was going on, they started watching everything I did?" Kennedy nodded as she continued. "Think about when you were fourteen and fifteen years old. What was that like for you? How were you feeling about your body?" "Oh, gosh." A light bulb came on, as Kennedy guessed where the conversation was going. "I was all arms and legs. I was growing so fast that I couldn't keep up with my own body. I was clumsy for a while -- tripping and bumping into things. And I had no breasts. Zero. These finally grew the summer before my senior year of high school. But before that, nada. I think I was the last girl in my class to start wearing bras." Kennedy glanced down at her modest curves. "How about you?" "I needed a bra by seventh grade." Carson blushed. "Mostly for my nipples. But by high school I was almost the size I am now. I remember being self-conscious when I'd feel them bounce if I was walking fast or running. That was bad enough, but put that in the context of knowing your parents are scrutinizing your body all the time." "Squick," Kennedy sympathized. "Big time squick," Carson confirmed. "I never thought I had a bad body, but it took a really long time to get comfortable with knowing other people were checking me out, be it strangers or people I was dating. In the past year with you, I reached a place where I was totally uninhibited. Sunbathing nude on the boat. Walking around the house naked. Sleeping nude with you. It's been one of the most liberating experiences of my life. And then this happens and now when I think you're looking at me, my head gets all messed up and I'm back in high school and I feel all self-conscious again." "I'm not looking at you like that," Kennedy protested. "God knows I love looking at you, but I've never studied you." She caught Carson's wide-eyed expression and corrected herself. "Okay, I have studied you, but I've studied you like I would study a lovely painting, not like a doctor in a clinical setting. I've never once looked at you with the intention of finding fault with any part of you." "Logically, I know that. And I had come to really enjoy knowing you were looking at me sometimes." Carson's eyes grew sad. "I hate losing that. I think -- I don't know -- what are you thinking when you look at me?" "So many things," Kennedy answered softly. "You're adorable, and beautiful, and the sexiest woman I've ever known. It depends on my mood. Your mood. The circumstances. Sometimes I think how totally cute you are. And others I think how very nicely toned and fit you are. Sometimes I admire your strength, or the little hitch in your hips when you walk." "I have a hitch?" Carson scowled, looking down at her own hips. "Is it a bad hitch?" "It's the cutest hitch, ever," Kennedy assured her. "You're beautiful, Carson, from head to toe. Sometimes my thoughts stop there, because you simply take my breath away, on so many levels. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit I often look at you and all I can think about is how much I want you. I think I'm wired like a guy." "What do you mean?" Carson frowned. "You notice everything." Kennedy smiled. "You notice colors, and scent, and flavors, and the lights. You comment on those things and they seem to be a part of what turns you on." "That's true. Is it not like that for you?" Carson's frown deepened. "No, it's not. I love your scent, and how the light makes your hair and eyes shine, but I don't need any of that to get me wanting you. Just the thought of you is all it takes to get me going. All I have to do is see you and I'm good to go if you are." "Oh." Carson blushed again. "I think I knew that. And I think I know, on a level, that most of the time when we're together, you're watching me, if not consciously, then subconsciously. Sometimes I just need to be aware of your presence, but you seem to need to be able to see me." "That's true. I know you." Kennedy reached across, touching Carson's shoulder, resting her hand there. "And I love every inch of you. When it's windy, your bangs lift up and blow to one side. You get this little furrow here --" she touched Carson's forehead. "When you're thinking really hard about something. And your nose -- it crinkles up when you smile and laugh. When you're perplexed, you sometimes poke your tongue into your cheek, and when you're pleased, you get this tiny little smile and sometimes you make a little guttural humming noise, as if you've just discovered something. When you're angry, your eyes snap and your jaw clenches. When you're tired, your eyes get droopy, the right one a little more than the left. I know when you're aroused, because I see your chest rising and falling more deeply and I can hear your breathing change. Your nipples - they go from pale pink to rosy when you're really turned on, and when I run my hand up your side, I can count your ribs. Your breasts fit perfectly in my hands -- I love the way they feel, and -- " Kennedy paused, realizing where she was going. "Am I embarrassing you?" "No." Carson swallowed and scooted closer. "What else?" "When I trail a finger up your stomach, your muscles ripple, always from bottom to top, no matter which way I'm stroking you. Your back is totally cut. Your gluts are hard as rock, but you have this lovely thin layer of softness over them that I can never get enough of squeezing. You have cute dimples on either side of your lower spine, and this little freckle on the inside of your left butt cheek." Kennedy glanced down. "And another one next to your left lip." Carson reached up, touching her face in question. "Not those lips." Kennedy smiled, her eyes full of adoration. "So yes, I've studied you quite a bit, and right now, I think you're the most gorgeous thing I've ever laid eyes on." "The freckles - is that why you always kiss me twice on the left side when you first go down there?" Carson looked down at her own crotch, spreading her legs slightly as if she could see the freckles, fully-clothed. "Yes." Kennedy confirmed. "They're too cute to resist." Carson scowled. "If you say so. I wish I could see them." "There's a hand mirror on the vanity in there if you really want to." Kennedy gestured toward the large bathroom just off the bedroom. "Will -- will you help me?" Carson licked her lips, her cheeks coloring as she looked down. "Sure. If you want me to." She touched Carson's face, waiting for eye contact. "You're sure?" Carson looked up. "Yeah. Gray eyes shone with more hope than Kennedy had seen in a while. "Go get the mirror. I'll -- get ready out here." Carson stood, easing her way toward the bed. "I probably need to stretch out to really be able to see, huh?" "Probably." Kennedy got up and headed for the bathroom. "Why don't you get comfortable?" Carson casually suggested. "Maybe put on one of those robes in there?" "Will do," Kennedy responded, her voice catching slightly. "I'll -- um -- be a minute -- clean the mirror so it doesn't have any smudges." "Good idea." Carson waited until Kennedy closed the bathroom door, then slowly shed her clothing and settled back on the bed. The sweet aroma of roses wafted up and she scooted back, folding the comforter down at the foot of the bed and slipping beneath the remaining top sheet. More rose petals had been scattered on top of the sheets. Reaching over, she popped a truffle in her mouth, the rich chocolate giving her a measure of comfort. The bathroom door opened and Kennedy stood in the doorway, a plush terry robe gracefully draping her figure and falling to mid-calf. "Got it." She padded across the carpet and sat down on the edge of the bed. "How do you want to --?" "Might need to turn on the nightstand lamps to have enough light." Carson leaned over, flipping the switch on the one closest to her. "Oh, yeah. Right." Kennedy turned on the other one, moving closer to Carson in the process. "You want me to -- I can look away, if you --" "I need you to hold the mirror for me." Carson reached over, touching her wrist. "Oh. Well, sure. I can -- do that." Kennedy eased closer until she was sitting directly next to Carson. "The sheet --" she gave it a little tug. "Gonna be kind of hard to see unless --" "It's okay." Carson touched her again and slipped her arms back along the pillows so she was no longer pinning the sheet in place. "It's okay," she repeated. Not quite meeting her eyes, Kennedy grasped the sheet and slowly pulled it down, revealing Carson's body a few inches at a time. After the first tug she gathered her courage and looked up, finding a gentle curiosity in Carson's eyes, which flicked back and forth between Kennedy's face and the sheet. The material was soft and slightly cool. "If you need me to stop --" "I don't," Carson cut her off firmly. "I want to see." Kennedy leaned closer and kissed her forehead, then continued until Carson was lying before her, fully nude, one knee raised, her body draped in a casual pose against cream-colored sheets. "Um. I guess --" "Take off your robe," Carson softly commanded. "Levels the playing field." Kennedy smiled. "Alright." She shrugged out of the plush covering, grateful for the request. The room was getting much too warm for clothing. She pushed the robe aside and slowly stretched out on her side in the opposite direction from Carson, her body curved toward Carson, her head roughly next to Carson's knees. "Um -- might need to raise your other leg." "Okay." Carson complied, then eased her knees apart. "Show me." A familiar sweet musky scent reached her nose, and for the second time that day Kennedy found she couldn't get enough oxygen. With measured breaths, she held the mirror down at an angle. "Let me know when you can see your --" she trailed off. "We never gave our girl parts names, did we?" "Names?" Carson tilted her head. "Like pussy?" Kennedy choked out a laugh. "That would work. I guess I never named it because I wasn't sure what you'd like me to call it." "What do you call it?" Carson studied her curiously. "In your head, I mean." "Mmmmm." Kennedy smiled. "I don't know as I ever called it anything specific, though I surely do enjoy thinking about it. Pussy works if we're talking dirty to each other, but I was thinking more -- maybe Ginger?" "Ginger?" Carson looked down between her legs with a quizzical expression. "Why?" "You've got red, mixed in with the blonde. See?" Kennedy followed Carson's gaze. "Red -- ginger -- I dunno. Maybe that's silly." "I like 'Ginger'," Carson's entire torso turned a lovely shade of pink. "I'll have to think on what to call yours." She smiled. "Show me the freckles." "Okay." Kennedy eased closer and rose up a little, moving the mirror around. "Can you see?" "Yeah. I can." Carson frowned, studying her private parts, reflected in the mirror back at her. "Oh, I see the one on my butt cheek. How funny." She laughed lightly. "I never knew it was there. I can't see the other one." "It's -- um --" Without thinking, Kennedy reached out, trailing her fingertip from the freckle Carson could see, to the one she couldn't see. "Right there. Got a few curls over it there, but see it?" She brushed over the sensitive spot, hearing Carson's breath catch. Kennedy looked up in panic. "Sorry. I didn't mean to --" "Do that again," Carson grasped her hand as she started to pull away. "I know you can see I'm wet." "I can." Kennedy set the mirror aside and shifted until she was stretched out in the same direction as Carson. "Kinda hard to miss." She held up her fingertip, showing Carson the evidence. Dipping down, she slowly stroked Carson again. "Like that?" "Just like that," Carson breathed into her ear, pulling her closer until their lips were almost touching. "Just like that." Feeling Kennedy's touch again, she closed the distance, kissing Kennedy with gentle passion and spreading her legs further, giving Kennedy a slight push until the taller woman settled between them, hovered over her, her weight braced on her forearm next to Carson's head. "All those things you know about me." Carson took Kennedy's earlobe between her lips, pressing down and flicking it with her tongue. "Tell me more." "I know you like it when I bite your nipples, but you like it more when I suck them." Kennedy searched her eyes. "Show me." Carson pushed the top of Kennedy's head down, her breath catching sharply as she complied. "What else?" Carson gasped. Kennedy released her nipple and eased back up, hovering over her once more. "When you're wet, two of my fingers fit perfectly inside you and when you're really turned on, you need three." She reached down, circling Carson's navel with one finger as she talked, giving the stud there a little tug. "Sometimes when I’m inside you or if I'm going down on you, if I drag a fingernail up the back of your thigh, it will make you come." She kissed Carson again, deepening the contact. "What else?" Carson crooked one knee, pressing her calf against Kennedy's backside and running her foot down the back of her thigh. "I know you like circles when I touch your clit. I know if you tell me to stop right now, I will, but I'll be calling room service to fill that tub in there with ice." Kennedy braced herself on both forearms, lifting up, hovering over Carson in anticipation. "Don't stop," Carson whispered, pressing herself up against Kennedy in invitation. Kennedy shifted downward, then slowly brushed her entire body up along Carson's, belly to belly, taking her time, a little growl escaping as their breasts made contact. Arching upward, her arms extended, she slid a thigh between Carson's legs and rocked against her once, twice. "You feel incredible." She ducked her head, kissing Carson intently, their tongues dancing in a familiar pattern as Carson pulled her in until their bodies were pressed tightly together. "I've missed you, Carson." Carson closed her eyes, her face pressed against Kenney's shoulder. "Show me about the fingers." She felt Kennedy shift and enter her, stroking her slowly and gently. "Ginger's really happy right now." She took a fold of Kennedy's skin between her teeth, biting down slightly. "Ahhh," Kennedy gasped. "Ginger feels really good. You feel really good," she added, feeling Carson bite down harder, adding a slight suction as she explored Kennedy's neck. "That feels great." "Gonna leave marks," Carson nipped her way along Kennedy's shoulder. "Don't care." Kennedy curled into her, rocking against Carson, putting her entire body into her touch. She felt Carson's body fall into a rhythm with her, rising and falling and rocking in time with her. Carson grasped one butt cheek, pushing and pulling, guiding Kennedy, while she dragged her fingernails of the other hand along Kennedy's shoulder blade. "Harder," she whispered, and Carson complied. "Whatever you need to do, baby. Whatever you need." Carson raised a leg, pressing upward, trading touch for touch and stroke for stroke. It was hard for Kennedy to focus, with the delicious pressure between her legs, Carson squeezing her backside, and fingernails she was certain were drawing blood raking down her back, but she gave it her all, making sure Carson knew her body was worshipped. Reverently, Kennedy slid down, kissing her way along Carson's breasts and stomach, meandering down, intent on some more intimate kisses. She felt Carson's hand at the back of her head and she looked up. "Need you up here," Carson urged her back up. "Feels really good -- what you're doing right now." Carson reached down, circling Kennedy's wrist. "Alright." Kennedy kissed her way back up, resuming the knowing, easy strokes. She locked eyes with Carson, seeing deep love and passion reflected back at her. "I know that when you're about to come, your eyes go all unfocused and soft." She kissed Carson. "Kind of like they're doing right now." "Ahhhhhh." Carson cried out, her body contracting over and over again in strong waves. Kennedy's own body arched for a second and she groaned, indicating her own release. She felt Kennedy's touch ease up and Carson reached down, circling her wrist again. "Stay for a minute." Kennedy's fingers stilled. "Feels nice." Without a word, Kennedy eased her body down, resting across Carson at an angle, her head turned toward Carson where she could see her face. "Feels really nice," Kennedy agreed, her voice soft and lazy. "I love feeling your weight on top of me." Carson rubbed Kennedy's back. "I'm squishing you," Kennedy argued. "No. It's comforting." Carson shook her head. "Nice and solid." She paused, lightly running her palm across Kennedy's shoulder blade. "Honey, I scratched you." "Hurt so good." Kennedy turned her face downward and kissed Carson just above her breast, giving her a little nuzzle of appreciation. "Still, I probably should take care of that." Carson slid from beneath her and out of bed, making her way to the bathroom with a familiar, rolling gait, seemingly oblivious to her nakedness. Kennedy rolled to her side, her head propped on an upraised elbow, watching her. She flipped over on her back and closed her eyes, savoring the moment. Intense did not begin to describe what they had just shared. A warm presence alerted her and she opened her eyes, to see Carson straddling her, looking down with concern. "Roll over," Carson urged, and Kennedy complied. She noted they'd left the bedside lights on while making love. She was fairly certain it hadn't occurred to either one of them to turn them off. "Hmmmm. Just a few short scratches." Carson sounded somewhat relieved and Kennedy felt a cool, wet piece of soft cotton pressed against her skin. She braced herself for the stinging sensation but it didn't come. "I used the stuff that doesn't burn," Carson read her thoughts. When she was finished, she leaned over and kissed each scratch. "All better," Kennedy purred. She rolled over and crossed her arms beneath her head, looking up at Carson, who was still straddling her. "You okay?" She reached up, touching Carson's face, brushing the back of her hand against her cheek. "My head is spinning, a little." Carson smiled. "But in a good way. I'm fine." "Com'ere." Kennedy snagged her and pulled Carson down next to her, until they were tangled together in a comfortable warm nest under the covers. Reaching over, she turned out the lights, smiling when she felt Carson rubbing her belly. The world was right again. "There was a moment --" Carson's hand trailed down, cupping Kennedy between her legs. "-- when I wanted more of you inside. It felt like you could have gone all the way in and it would have felt good." "Like fisting?" Kennedy felt Carson nodding against her. "That's something you need to be mentally and emotionally prepared for. And there are other things we'd need to do. Lube and stuff. I'm not sure --" She shook her own head. "Do you really want that?" "Not right now." Carson planted several kisses along her shoulder. "Maybe not ever. It was just something during the moment. I think I'm still working out some things." "But you are okay with what we did?" Kennedy stroked Carson's head, sifting the short blonde strands through her fingers. "Yeah." Carson smiled against Kennedy's skin, giving her another quick kiss of reassurance. "Thank god for those freckles." Kennedy laughed. "I must say that was the most unique ice-breaker, ever." Carson laughed along with her. "I think the ice melted the minute you appeared in that doorway over there wearing that robe, and every cell in my body wanted you." "I'm glad." Kennedy circled her with both arms, hugging her close. "Happy anniversary, Carson." She kissed her forehead. "Thank you for making it so nice." Carson rose up for a moment, trading several passionate kisses before they finally settled back down, falling asleep curled tightly against each other. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kennedy opened her eyes, squinting for a moment. They'd left the curtains open and a pale pink streak of light across the far horizon indicated the coming dawn. It was way too early to get up, given how late they'd stayed up. She smiled. She wouldn't have traded the night for all the sleep in the world. Feeling Carson's body curled against her, she was content to lie there for as long as Carson needed to sleep. Half-awake and half-asleep herself, she closed her eyes again, her arms tightening a little around her partner. She tilted her head to one side and kissed the top of Carson's head, smelling the herbal shampoo the hotel provided, mixed in with the rose petals that surrounded them. They were still soft and sweet-scented and she smiled, remembering a moment right before they fell asleep when Carson had scooped up a handful and released them in a shower over both of them, laughing lightly as she had snuggled against Kennedy and released a completely-contented sigh. It was sweeter than any roses could ever be. It felt so good to hold Carson in a way that had become familiar and normal to her. She didn't ever want to take that closeness for granted again. It had been a very long few weeks, and pondering that, she realized that other than the one night Carson had retreated to the guest room, there had been no true estrangement between them. Despite the absence of the physical side of their relationship, the love had never wavered. If anything it had grown stronger. Kennedy had been certain of her feelings for Carson from almost the first day they met. She wasn't sure why, exactly. Part of it had been learning early on that despite the fragile side Carson was willing to occasionally reveal when they were alone, overall, Carson wasn't so fragile. She was an incredibly strong person who faced things head-on, much as Kennedy generally chose to do. The difference was that when they were angry, Kennedy was more prone to internalizing, while Carson was more prone to project. Neither method was very conducive to productive conversation, but neither of them could bear to remain angry for long. As a result, communication between them rarely suffered for long, either. The revelation of the eating disorder had been a shock, all out of keeping of what she knew of Carson up to that moment. She realized it was in the past and had to put that in its place with other things in Carson's past: losing her parents, being kidnapped and losing her job, and holding Kennedy through a long and feverish night in a cold and dark cave in Big Bend. Each incident had been thoroughly discussed, and then shelved, as they moved on to the business of living in the present. Maybe it was Carson's reaction to Kennedy knowing about the eating disorder that had left Kennedy treading on unfamiliar ground. It wasn't like Carson to dwell on the past. No, beating herself up for the past was more of a Kennedy-like thing, and Kennedy knew it. Shrugging a little, she tucked the information away. Unless there was some other big secret Carson had not yet revealed, Kennedy had to assume that this, for Carson, was like Angela's death or a history of drug use was, for Kennedy. The things that seemed to circle back from time to time and haunt her at the most inconvenient times. She decided everyone deserved to have at least one or two skeletons that came back to bite them in the ass on occasion. Speaking of asses, the one her hand was curled around shifted, and Carson made a little mewling noise. Thinking Carson was still asleep, Kennedy smiled and kissed the top of her head again, laughing in surprise when Carson dipped her head and gave her a little peck on the chest. She quit laughing and closed her eyes halfway, as the little kisses continued, circling her breast. Stroking Carson's behind, Kennedy sighed happily. "Nice," she whispered. "Is it still our anniversary?" Carson whispered back, rubbing Kennedy's belly lazily as she made her way over to the other breast. "Long as you keep that up, it is." Kennedy shifted, as Carson's hand drifted down and nudged her legs apart, while she took a nipple into her mouth at the same time. It was sweet and slow and familiar, nothing like the intense reunion from the night before. So many mornings they woke up exactly like this, and Kennedy's heart ached with the normalness of it. They were home, she was certain of it, and she abandoned herself to Carson's gentle touch. "I've missed this." Carson kissed her belly, then moved up as far up as she could without displacing her hand, in an effort to see Kennedy's face. She smiled as Kennedy sensed her need and dragged a pillow beneath her head, her blue eyes warm as she gazed back at Carson. "Thank you." Carson continued with the steady, slow stroking motion, her touch at times light and at times firm, keeping Kennedy riding just on the edge. She wanted to draw it out, and so she did, watching as Kennedy's features softened, her eyes more intense as her passion rose. It was nice to be able to see Kennedy's face and share the moment. On the other hand -- she pondered the breasts at eye level -- their respective heights did have their advantages. Closing the distance, she lowered herself completely down, cupping a breast with her free hand and taking the nipple between her lips. She needed this. Needed to feed on Kennedy, hearing and feeling the rumbling in Kennedy's chest that indicated she was giving her pleasure. She felt Kennedy's hand come to rest on the back of her head, not directing, just resting there, stroking Carson's hair as Kennedy continually moaned and sighed. It ignited Carson, her stomach fluttering in empathy. There were other places she needed to feed, and so she abandoned Kennedy's breasts, making a lazy wet trail of kisses down her stomach. They didn't need words for this. Instinctively, Kennedy's legs spread wider, making room as Carson settled between them and wrapped her arms around strong thighs. Kennedy's scent made her crazy, the first taste of her like heaven. "Mmmmmm." Carson hummed against her, feeling that hand cradling the back of her head again. "Sweet mother of god," Kennedy groaned. "Oh, so you're Catholic now, are you?" Carson paused, then continued. "Right now I'm a Garret-ite," Kennedy gasped. Carson laughed lightly and nuzzled each inner thigh, before diving back in with the intimate kisses and touch. The religious-tinted banter during love-making was nice and normal, and Carson kept wanting to smile, impeding her progress. Slowly, she focused in on the warm, very appealing, nice-smelling body beneath her, using tongue and lips and fingers to draw out Kennedy's pleasure for as long as possible. "Baby, please." The hand at the back of her head pressed down a bit more firmly. Playful begging was nice and normal, too. Cason smiled one more time, before doing her lover's bidding, increasing the pressure and pace, feeling that moment when Kennedy stilled and her body arched up, then crashed down, crying out as inner walls tightened, giving Carson an intimate assurance her mission was successful. She pressed her cheek against Kennedy's belly, hearing her heartbeat and feeling her stomach heave with ragged breaths. She was still inside her lover, feeling a light pulsing around her fingers, Kennedy's own fingers now raking through Carson's hair, long legs wrapping around her body. She could taste Kennedy on her lips and tongue, wiry curls tickling her upper chest, Kennedy's scent all around her. She closed her eyes, reveling in the complete sensory immersion in her partner. Finally, she turned her head, kissing Kennedy's belly as she eased out of her, drawing out one last groan. She crawled back up, long arms and legs urging her forward, until she landed in a warm embrace and Kennedy peppered her forehead with kisses, before their lips met in a long, passionate exchange. Closing her eyes, Carson pressed herself against Kennedy's hip bone, as a strong hand cupped her ass, pushing her even closer as she sought her own pleasure. Groaning, she shifted, curling in against Kennedy, her face buried into Kennedy's shoulder. Kennedy slid a hand between them, taking over, as soft, sexy words drifted past Carson's ear. "Ride it out, babe," Kennedy held her close, urging her on until Carson gasped, her body lost in a passionate wave of pleasure. Slowly, Kennedy's touch eased up, and Carson sank down into her arms, feeling her hands stroking up and down Carson's back. "Good morning," Kennedy rasped. "Morning." Carson smiled and rose up partway, her smile widening as Kennedy reached up and pushed sweaty bangs off Carson's forehead. "Guess we have to pack up today and get ready to go back to the real world, huh?" "It doesn't get any more real than this." Kennedy rubbed noses with her and wrapped both arms around her in a tight bear-hug. It felt so good. Carson hugged her back, trading passion for the bone-deep love that had become her anchor. "I want you to know --" She traced her fingertips across Kennedy's eye brows. "Despite everything these past few weeks, I never doubted you -- us -- not for a minute." "Me neither." Kennedy flashed a radiant smile, then her expression grew serious. "Are you comfortable with me, now? I mean -- with being naked with me in broad daylight, and with me checking you out like I do? I want to give you whatever space you need, babe, for as long as you need it." "I think I'm good." Carson glanced at the full sunlight angling in through the window, painting their nude bodies with a large chunk of bright light. She was glad they weren't on the first floor. "I'm glad you know about the bulimia and the anorexia. I think it's the only big secret I'd kept from you. I can't promise I won't have some weird moments from time to time, K. I hope you can put this in the context of how you felt, telling me about the drugs. I've never been ashamed of your past, but I know you are. I feel the same way about mine -- I understand that you aren't judging me, but it doesn't keep me from judging myself." Kennedy smiled sadly, her lips a little crooked, her face reflecting an inner anguish she rarely showed. "I'd give anything if I could help you not feel that way about yourself." She shook her head a little. "I have no room to talk in the self-flagellation department, but I think we both need to be a little easier on ourselves." "Yeah." Carson pursed her lips inward. "But I sometimes have a hard time forgiving my parents for how they made me feel. Lord." She drew in a long breath and released it, realizing Kennedy had also fought her own demons where her parents were concerned. "You and I really are alike in a lot of ways, aren't we?" "I think in the most important things, we're extremely alike," Kennedy agreed with her. "It's probably why we get along. Despite our surface differences, we understand each other where it counts." "But we grew up so differently." Carson frowned. "Ah, our surroundings were like night and day, true, but we were not raised so differently. I grew up in bumfuck west Texas and you grew up in the big city, but I think our parents had pretty similar ideas as to what kind of people they wanted us to turn out to be." Kennedy smiled at Carson's wide-eyed agreement. "I think we both got our little behinds whipped if we strayed too far from some pretty fundamental character traits. True?" "Way true." Carson laughed lightly. "Hey." She tilted her head, studying Kennedy's face. "Are we going to spank our kids?" "I don't think I want it to be a first choice," Kennedy answered slowly, her forehead scrunched together for a moment. "I'd like to try talking to them first, and maybe using time-outs or restrictions of privileges after that, but I think sometimes a smack to the backside is the quickest way to get your point across when all else fails." "My folks used a belt." Carson rubbed her own behind in memory. "Mine did too, and even a wooden paddle from time to time." Kennedy rolled to her side, taking Carson with her until they were lying stretched out, facing each other. "I don't think I want to use anything more forceful than my open hand." She flexed her fingers. "Good." Carson appeared relieved, her voice reflecting her expression. "I don't, either. And I hate the idea of spanking kids at all, right up until I see some kid running amuck in a restaurant or the grocery store, or acting like a complete brat. Then I not only want their parents to spank them, I want to spank them myself." "Those kids that do that stuff aren't being raised right in the first place. And yeah, I usually want to beat their little asses, too," Kennedy agreed whole-heartedly. "I don't think we're going to let our kids get that far off track in the manners department, but if any kid of mine ever did pull some of the stuff I've seen, I would have no problem giving them a swat on the backside in the middle of the store aisle." "Hmmmm." Carson grinned wickedly. "Good thing I don't throw tantrums at the store." "Why's that?" Kennedy grinned back, guessing at the answer. "I might like the punishment." Carson snuggled closer, giving Kennedy a kiss. "Oh yeah?" She gave Carson a light playful smack, then rubbed the butt cheek in question. "Yeah." Carson kissed her again, their legs tangling together. "Hold that thought." Kennedy grabbed the handset on the bedside phone. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. I'm just calling to have breakfast delivered an hour later than I originally requested." Carson laughed, as Kennedy dialed the number for room service. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Continued in Chapter 14

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