My mom called today. Ever the bearer of awesomeness (that's sarcasm) she was calling to tell me about my brother in law.

My sister and my brother in law have finally after 17 years realized that they sort of hate each other and that this "I'm not talking to you for 2 weeks" shit every month has to stop. So she brought up divorcing and he was amenable and seemed okay. They've been stuck in a shit financial situation so they're slowly separating, still living in the same house. It takes a long time to get your life untangled when it gets that tangled.

Apparently my sister slept in on Sunday. When she got up, she took a shower, lazed around the house a bit... then realized Bill wasn't there. So she thought about looking for him. But, ya know... they're starting the process of a divorce. So she waited. But after awhile she thought it was strange enough that she started looking around. She didn't see him around the house. So she peeked outside, saw his truck was still there.

She went out to ask him what he was doing and discovered that he had a hose running from his exhaust into his window, that he was non responsive, drooling all over himself, half dead from the carbon monoxide. My sister who has worked in the medical field for over 20 years freaked out and called my mom to ask what to do...

So they get an ambulance out there and got him to the hospital. They treated him with high oxygen levels and kept him under observation all day asking him basic questions. No signs of brain damage, no permanent damage of any kind. They transported him to a psych ward where he was supposed to be for 7 to 10 days but they're releasing him tomorrow on condition of his keeping his psych appointments.

My sister feels guilty, blames herself. This piece of shit who has been nothing but selfish and self centered and lodged so far up his own ass it's always been amazing pulled this shit and my SISTER blames HERSELF. I'm just so angry at him for doing this. Because my sister is wrecked. She had just started to get herself back together, to give herself a break, to realize that not *everything* is her fault and this walking sack of worthlessness has fucked that up. AGAIN.

He's never been suicidal a day in his life. And then this out of the blue. It really makes me think the worst of his motivations. But it really doesn't matter why. It's done. And god damn him if this makes Wendy backpedal and go back to the shit she's put up with all these years.

Also, I think it's better that he didn't die. When my one sister's husband killed himself, it kind of.. broke something. She didn't recover from it for a lot of years, even though the guy had been less than worthless. Apparently it's somehow harder to say "Ha ha, I'm never going to see you again, you fucking bastard!" to a coffin.

Everyone's fine. And everything is okay. I haven't had a lot of sleep lately, a friend of my parents that we grew up with has added cancer to her all her other ailments and my mom doesn't know how to deal with the one friend she has dying. So that's been on my mind too. I'm trying to do that vent/not bottle thing. But I'm okay and She's okay.

It's definitely better that he didn't die. I didn't really mean to wish him death. This is just a fine example of how his thinking goes and how selfish he always has been. This is the kind of guy who, as punishment for shitting in its tiny tiny kennel while it's been locked up for 10 hours, will put the dog with massive stomach issues BACK IN THE KENNEL. And yell at it. And wonder "why would he just listen to me?" He's walking garbage.

it just makes me mad. But it's okay that it makes me mad. As long as my sister comes out of it okay then none of it matters.