A Search for Purpose in a Random World

Month

August 2014

Just yesterday I penned some advice on how to have a breakdown; most people do it wrong, and so I’m 75% confident that it was life-changing, universe altering information for those who needed it. I know it helped me immensely.

It was the result of a personal revelation and study. Not too long ago, I had stopped mid-gut wrenching sob, wiped away bits of Oreo crumbs and tissue dust mixing together on my chin, to ask myself, “Am I getting all I could out of my breakdowns?” I dug intensely deep into research to find answers. You’re Welcome.

Afterwards, I dusted myself off, grabbed a carrot, put on my new black shiny flip-flops, and left my perfect cottage in the woods to conquer the world. My cottage smiled her do-it-yourself, homemade smile and said, “I’ll keep the kettle ready, dear.” The trees and daisies waved, squirrels gave me the thumbs up sign, and clouds parted to reveal a happy sun. Such are the effects of anti-depressants. I hopped into my white super-charged-growling-like-a-mean-fisted-tiger sports car and drove into the wild wasted space called the Big City – where my family welcomed me with warm hugs and pasta.

A week of Italian Therapy has nearly cured me, carbs have replaced medication, and I now stand a little bit less wobbly than before.

Like this:

No one has to tell you how to have a breakdown, but in case you were having any difficulties, I would like to share a few tips with you. I have tried these tips myself and found them to be extremely useful in producing the exact world crushing despair needed to have the perfect breakdown.

1. Be sure that you feel that your life is completely falling apart. Do not leave room for hope in any form. Give yourself totally to despair and let the walls crumble down around you.

2. Be sure that you feel you are completely alone in the world. Do not call a friend, trusted family member, minister, or therapist. Do not accept consolation or encouragement at all. Tip two is my favorite tip. I LOVE being completely alone in the midst of personal crisis.

3. Be sure there is absolutely nothing you can do to improve your situation in any way. The light at the end of the tunnel doesn’t exist. The light you think you see at the end of the tunnel is a train from which there is no escape – you are going to die.

Now some tips for how to recover from personal crisis (or How NOT to have an Emotional Breakdown):

1. Remind yourself that your life is not completly ruined. Some good remains in your life if you look for it. Can you scramble eggs? Yes? Great! Some people completely suck at scrambling eggs, but you are not one of them.

2. Remind yourself that you are not completely alone in the world. Call a friend, trusted family member, minister, or therapist. Accept consolation and encouragement – in fact take all you can get. Become a human sponge in the world soaking up kind words and actions. Did the cashier at the grocery store smile at you? Great! That smile belongs to you and no one else. Did she frown? Don’t worry – most likely she ate tragically burnt scrambled eggs for breakfast and is now having a harder than usual day.

3. Remind yourself that there is a solution to your problem, even if you haven’t thought of it yet. All or nothing, black or white, yes or no options are traps from which you will escape – yes YOU, beautiful you stading in front of your stove with the perfect scrambled eggs.

The Most Important Thing to REMEMBER is that we are surrounded by so much of God’s GRACE. This grace is hard to explain by definition, but to me grace means all of the things I need in order to survive every upheaval life can throw my way. I’ve experienced God’s patience, forgiveness, kindness, love, provision and rescue in many different ways.

In the same way that it would be hard to define exactly why one loves one’s Grandmother, I find it hard to define and explain my relationship with God and my experience of Grace. My experience is not the result of religion or denominational teaching. It is not the result of performing a ritual. For me, it comes from walking with God in the way one walks with a friend, holding hands, sharing my life, heart, joys, and sorrows.

To connect with this grace:

Sit alone in the type of quiet place that allows for consentration.

Breathe.

Talk to God. There is no right or wrong way to talk to God. In my belief and experience the “right” thing is to be Honest.

Like this:

Hola Amigos!!!! I just wanted to stop and say, “Thank you!” to all of my international friends for reading my blog! I hope you are all having beautiful weather and peaceful dreams.

Step two is: Keep Doing What you are Supposed to be Doing.

This sounds like common sense, but isn’t.

If we are not striving towards a dream – we are taking a huge risk that later in life we will be able to do what we want, but later is not guaranteed. I believe God created us for delight, for more than what we’ve traded to gain security, whether the security is real or imagined.

Some thoughts:

Rumi said, “Respond to every call that excites your spirit.”

Jesus said, “I have come so that you could have life – abundant life.”

Like this:

I’m running errands in town today, and one of my flip-flops just broke – it’s my favorite pair. I’ve worn them until they’ve become thin and ugly. Somehow, I love them more when they are that way. So now, I’m walking with one flip flop on, I’m right bare footed, and it feels just a little bit, um…weird.

The adventurous life is one in which we choose an attitude of humor and delight despite mix-ups. So I guess this is step one!