Talking About French People with Alexia Landeau

Alexia Landeau is a French-American woman who co-wrote and stars in the very French-American 2 Days in New York (out this Friday), opposite Julie Delpy and Chris Rock. We decided to talk to her over the phone not about them or New York, but rather about all things French: kissing, fries, beauty, bread, Carla Bruni, and the best way to tell a woman she's lovely.

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MARK SVARTZ: So you're half-French. Maybe you can shed a little light on the stereotype that French women are super-sensual and sultry.

ALEXIA LANDEAU: This is such a generalization, but I guess they're a little less puritan, a little bit looser. And I don't mean slutty — just less uptight. The thing is, in France, there just aren't as many taboos. They're more comfortable with their bodies. Sensuality and pleasure are just a way of life.

MS: I've only been to Paris once, but it felt like people were more in the moment.

AL: It's a country where life is more than just your job. I feel like, in America, you're defined by your work. But in France, you can actually have a whole dinner conversation with someone without once discussing what you do.

MS: Despite all the openness, one thing I've noticed is that French people hate hugging. That's so weird.

AL: They do the double kiss. They're kissing all over the place.

MS: Nothing wrong with kissing. But who shies away from a good hug?

AL: Now that I think of it, you're right. They don't hug. When they kiss in social interactions, it's cheek-to-cheek, unlike hugging which involves whole bodies pressing up on each other. Hugging is probably too intimate for them.

MS: What's interesting is that the same people who are afraid to hug are the ones who invented tongue-kissing.

AL: Actually, I think that's just a myth. I read somewhere that it was coined as an insult to the French reputation of sexual promiscuity. Apparently, American soldiers returned home from World War I and showed their wives and girlfriends what they learned abroad.

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MS: If it's not really a French invention, you guys lucked out, as far as things a country can be known for. I mean, Brazil got stuck with pubic waxing.

AL: What's Germany? Chocolate?

MS: I think they got screwed with the whole Nazi thing.

AL: Oh, right. I guess France did win out.

MS: The French can take apple pie if we can call kissing with tongue "American kissing."

AL: I think America should definitely make that trade. We need to call the consulate immediately. But it's funny how those stereotypes start. Another big one is that French women aren't as groomed as American women.

MS: You mean the whole armpit-hair situation?

AL: Yeah, that they don't shave under their arms or legs. I mean, this is another generalization, but American women are all hairless and manicured — very groomed. French women are less phobic of their natural body, so there's less emphasis on personal grooming. Not to say that they're dirty, but, like, it's hard to find an American woman with even a tiny bit of stubble on her legs, right? Well, French girls have stubble.

MS: So it sounds like French women don't care as much about grooming.

AL: It's not that they don't care. It's just that American women are so into the perfume and the pedicures and the whole Kim Kardashian beauty regiment. In France, looking like you're trying so hard on your appearance is very unsexy. It's such a turnoff.

MS: What about plastic surgery? Is that a big thing in France?

AL: It's not. I just spent seven years in L.A., and I know a million girls with breast implants there. I don't know anyone like that in Paris. I think it's that the fear of aging is not as pervasive in France. It feels like, in the U.S., women have a shelf-life, so they have to turn back the clock. But in France, older women are considered sensual, and they don't have to mask the lines and wrinkles and erase every sign of their life on earth to be attractive and get laid.

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MS: I'm guessing it's a slightly bigger issue in the film industry.

AL: Definitely. If you look at film, it's a much kinder art form to women there than in America. You have all these women in their 50s and 60s who still have great careers and are considered beautiful women. Whereas I'm loathe to find the equivalent here. I mean, who is there? Susan Sarandon?

MS: It's a short list. Diane Lane, Meryl Streep...

AL: Exactly. They're far and few between.

MS: Do you think the same applies to men in Hollywood?

AL: Not as much. You'll frequently see men in their late 30s and early 40s break into the industry as sex symbols, but it's so rare that a woman in her late 30s will suddenly break out for her sexuality, where people are like, "I totally wanna F her!" But I feel like, in France, there are so many more opportunities for female actresses, which affects how females there are viewed.

MS: I think an even more powerful impact on the perception of French women is the poodle.

AL:[Laughs] How so?

MS: Roll with me on this. Take the German Shepherd: serious, no nonsense, pretty intimidating. That's so German. Then you have the Mexican Chihuahua: small, feisty, loves tacos.

AL: So true.

MS: And then you have the French poodle. It's all fancy and delicate and comfortable with its body. Just like French ladies.

AL: I love where you're going with this. It totally fits. Especially since poodles are known for being aloof. They don't like to lick or cuddle or climb on you like a Lab or Golden Retriever.

MS: They're not huggers.

AL: For sure.

MS: Before I let you go, I have a few questions that can only be answered by an official French woman.

AL: That would be me. Shoot.

MS: Which French innovation do you take the most pride in: French fries, French toast, or French-press coffee?

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AL: French-press coffee, because I have it every morning.

MS: There's no right or wrong here, but the correct answer was fries. I prefer instant coffee.

AL: Ugh, really?

MS: No judging. I was born that way. Next: France and the U.S. have had two of the most beautiful and glamorous first ladies in history — Carla Bruni and Jackie Kennedy. Which one would win in a fistfight?

AL: Carla Bruni. She's a wench.

MS: I agree. Especially since Jackie's dead.

AL: Well, I was making it a fairer fight with both being alive and in their prime, but yeah, the dead thing is a disadvantage.

MS: Finally, if I met a woman on the street in Paris one night, and I could only say one French phrase to win her over, what would it be?

AL: What could you say? Maybe "Vous êtes ravissante." It means "You're ravishing," but in French it doesn't sound so in-your-face. More like "You're so lovely." What girl doesn't want to hear that she's lovely?