FRIDAY FUNNY: Outrageous Excuses

January 10, 2014

FRIDAY FUNNY: Outrageous Excuses

Posted by Heidi Schwartz

Have you ever had one of those days where your false teeth fly out the window on the highway, your doors and windows are all glued shut, or a swarm of bees keeps you from getting in your car? While most employees use sick days to recover from an illness, some employers have heard much more memorable excuses.

In the past year, nearly one third (32%) of workers have called in sick when not actually ill, up slightly from last year (30%). On the flip side, 30% of employees say they’ve gone to work despite actually being sick in order to save their sick days for when they’re feeling well.

Thanks to technological advances, taking a sick day no longer always means taking a day off. Twenty percent of workers say in the past year they called in sick but still ended up doing work from home throughout the day.

Cold weather and holiday stress can take a toll on absentee rates. Three in 10 (30%) employers say they notice an increased number of sick days among their employees around the holidays. Nineteen percent of employers say that December is the time of year that employees call in sick the most, followed by January (16%) and February (15%).

Thirty percent of employers say that they have checked in on employees who have called in sick to make sure the excuse was legitimate. Of those who verified employees’ excuses over the past year, 64% required a doctor’s note, 48% called the employee, 19% checked the employee’s social media posts, 17% had another employee call the sick employee, and 15% drove past the employee’s house.

While some employers may be flexible with how employees use their sick days, 16% say they’ve fired employees for calling in sick with a fake excuse.

Apart from actual illness, the most common reason employees take sick days is because they just don’t feel like going to work (33%), or because they needed to relax (28%). Others spend their sick days going to the doctor (24%), catching up on sleep (19%), or running personal errands (14%).

When asked to share the most memorable excuses for workplace absences that they’ve heard, employers reported the following real-life examples:

Employee’s false teeth flew out the window while driving down the highway

Employee’s favorite football team lost on Sunday so needed Monday to recover

Employee was quitting smoking and was grouchy

Employee said that someone glued her doors and windows shut so she couldn’t leave the house to come to work

Employee bit her tongue and couldn’t talk

Employee claimed a swarm of bees surrounded his vehicle and he couldn’t make it in

Employee said the chemical in turkey made him fall asleep and he missed his shift

Employee felt like he was so angry he was going to hurt someone if he came in

Employee received a threatening phone call from the electric company and needed to report it to the FBI

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