This, to me, says "Hi, I'm a modern rock band whose sound is pretty much indistinguishable from the other bands that are popular this month." If they're lucky, one of their songs will peak at #16, and they'll never be heard from again. Look for this in the bargain bin of your local HMV next month!

On the other hand, maybe that career path isn't so bad, compared to that of good old FIR. They paid to press this CD themselves, and got it stocked in all of the local Newbury Comics stores... which, as far as anyone can tell, have only sold the five copies purchased by the bands' four roommates and that one creepy dude who stands in the back at all their shows.

Next up on our program is this disc by local coffeeshop comedy-folkie John Wyre. He's not going to get famous, either, but at least he's getting a free meal every week or so. The album title is all about irony -- he's 5'4", wiry, and going bald.

We never seem to run out of painfully artsy bands fresh out of the Berklee College of Music, do we? Wooler Water draws well at shows, but mostly only because their electric viola player is a smokin' hot chick.

Which brings us to my fifth, and favorite, entry...

...or am I bluffing, and this is an actual album whose cover art I pulled off of CDBaby? (I mean, seriously. Tell me you haven't seen this cover before.)