As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially elected into office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:

1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales commissions into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are underachieving a "fair shake."

2. All hourly employees will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. This will help those who are "too busy for overtime" to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3. All top management will now be referred to as "the government." We will not participate in this "pooling" experience because the law doesn't apply to us.

4. The "government" will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard "for the good of all."

5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's "good to spread the wealth." Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more "patriotic."

6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?) !!!

especiialypsycho

11-12-2008, 09:38 PM

I hope your joking.

druid

11-13-2008, 12:44 AM

do you think I am? That's his platform...why not make it so "normal" people can understand it?

bigred76

11-13-2008, 01:14 AM

Play nice, Paul....

DFSniper

11-13-2008, 04:31 AM

:up:

Critical

11-13-2008, 04:34 AM

My company already does that :(

vikingshadow

11-13-2008, 04:48 AM

Hehe - we were doing the same thing yesterday, except applying it towards teachers.

This is good though, because with the "new" NCLB garbage we teachers have to do, I may be calling upon that "free" stuff before too long!

bamf-hacker

11-13-2008, 06:59 AM

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

The election is over, Obama won and we will need to deal with it for the next 4 years.

Please no more politics I am on OVERLOAD....

At least the phone calls stopped :)

Hob Hayward

11-13-2008, 07:32 AM

lulz. Obama ftw.

and um, no, thats not his platform at all, to be precise.

durrell

11-13-2008, 09:08 AM

I liked this one.

Fellow Business Executives:

As the CFO of this business that employees 140 people, I have resigned
myself to the fact that Barrack Obama will be our next President, and
that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients will have
to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8% but since we cannot
increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we
will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been
eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn't
w how to choose who will have to go.

So, this is what I did. I strolled thru our parking lot and found 8
Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these
folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair way
to approach this problem. These folks wanted change; I gave it to them.
If you have a better idea, let me know.

Sincerely

druid

11-13-2008, 09:33 AM

don't hate the messenger....hate the message.

calebh

11-13-2008, 10:11 AM

I liked this one.

Fellow Business Executives:

As the CFO of this business that employees 140 people, I have resigned
myself to the fact that Barrack Obama will be our next President, and
that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients will have
to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8% but since we cannot
increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we
will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been
eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn't
w how to choose who will have to go.

So, this is what I did. I strolled thru our parking lot and found 8
Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these
folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair way
to approach this problem. These folks wanted change; I gave it to them.
If you have a better idea, let me know.

Sincerely

that's a good one. i almost hope that actually happened. but it'd be a lawsuit for sure. lol

RSX99

11-13-2008, 11:33 AM

I liked this one.

Fellow Business Executives:

As the CFO of this business that employees 140 people, I have resigned
myself to the fact that Barrack Obama will be our next President, and
that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients will have
to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8% but since we cannot
increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we
will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been
eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn't
w how to choose who will have to go.

So, this is what I did. I strolled thru our parking lot and found 8
Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these
folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair way
to approach this problem. These folks wanted change; I gave it to them.
If you have a better idea, let me know.

Sincerely

Rather creative wouldn't you say?

xsvly-fat

11-13-2008, 11:54 AM

I liked this one.

Fellow Business Executives:

As the CFO of this business that employees 140 people, I have resigned
myself to the fact that Barrack Obama will be our next President, and
that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients will have
to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8% but since we cannot
increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we
will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been
eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn't
w how to choose who will have to go.

So, this is what I did. I strolled thru our parking lot and found 8
Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these
folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair way
to approach this problem. These folks wanted change; I gave it to them.
If you have a better idea, let me know.

Sincerely

Haha that was pretty funny.

durrell

11-13-2008, 02:02 PM

Rather creative wouldn't you say?

I never said it really happened.

RSX99

11-13-2008, 02:24 PM

I never said it really happened.

Just pointing out that is was creative, not that it happened.

durrell

11-13-2008, 02:46 PM

Just pointing out that is was creative, not that it happened.

Just making sure my sarcasm detector wasn't broken. :p

DFSniper

11-13-2008, 03:36 PM

d, that was great.

and i have to agree with paul and d. everyone wanted this "change," and its fitting that the people see it in real terms that they can relate to.

dan, as far as i'm concerned, this isnt about the election, or obama at all, but about the proposed economic policy that will affect all our lives.

bigred76

11-13-2008, 03:54 PM

One for you, Dan:
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/election.png

badlandsrox

11-13-2008, 04:12 PM

Haha, I love how you all were bush bashing, and saying how bad he is, and counting down the days untill he is out, and now, as soon as someone else comes along, you are doing the exact same thing with him... although to a lesser extent, but then again this is just the first week and a half, so im sure before to long he's going to be right up there (or maybe down there??) with bush to you guys...

DFSniper

11-13-2008, 04:32 PM

que? the majority of the OGs here are republicans...

RSX99

11-13-2008, 05:25 PM

Just making sure my sarcasm detector wasn't broken. :p

Heh, tough to discern sarcasm via text eh? :D

bigred76

11-13-2008, 05:43 PM

Haha, I love how you all were bush bashing, and saying how bad he is, and counting down the days untill he is out, and now, as soon as someone else comes along, you are doing the exact same thing with him... although to a lesser extent, but then again this is just the first week and a half, so im sure before to long he's going to be right up there (or maybe down there??) with bush to you guys...

He wasn't my choice, and thus, as is the American right, I can bash the **** out of him. ;)

vikingshadow

11-13-2008, 06:26 PM

Haha, I love how you all were bush bashing, and saying how bad he is, and counting down the days untill he is out, and now, as soon as someone else comes along, you are doing the exact same thing with him... although to a lesser extent, but then again this is just the first week and a half, so im sure before to long he's going to be right up there (or maybe down there??) with bush to you guys...

I never bashed Bush. Not once. I voted for him twice and still stand by my decision. I hate NCLB, but not it's original intent. I support our troops overseas, and I don't have any real complaints about him. I do understand that as Commander in Chief of our country, he suffers the wrath that he sometimes doesn't deserve, also (ie, see Congress.)

I didn't vote for Obama, and like Red, this was my decision and is my American right to say what I want about him.

I did vote, however, so I reserve the right to complain! :p

However, I WILL reserve judgement until I see one way or the other how things go - I WILL continue to bash government until I see positive returns, though.

calebh

11-13-2008, 07:35 PM

i bashed bush. i still do. no administration has ever held such obvious contempt for the constitution. however, i do think he's gotten a lot of unnecessary flak.

i didn't vote for obama. nor did i vote for mccain. but i did vote, so i'll say what i like. honestly, i'm not very hopeful over the next four years, but i don't blame obama for all of it. he's got a ton on his plate, same as mccain would have, and i just don't see anyone being able to fix it all so quickly. this economic crisis has been brewing for years, decades maybe. thinking we'll be out in a couple of years is blindly optimistic at best. and that's just one of the problems i want fixed.

battlechaser

11-13-2008, 07:46 PM

Here I figured Canada was going to become the 51st state, and now all this has happened... I swear if I hear people start finishing their sentences with eh? and pronouncing about - a-boot down there... I'm getting my cat to pack me in a crate and mail me off to Abu Dhabi. :p

DFSniper

11-13-2008, 07:55 PM

lol, i havent heard someone say aboot since i pissed off this canadian chick i knew a few years ago.

DRAGON

11-13-2008, 11:35 PM

Yobama eh?

http://blogs.westword.com/demver/yobama.jpg

bamf-hacker

11-14-2008, 06:19 AM

Yobama eh?

http://blogs.westword.com/demver/yobama.jpg

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

vikingshadow

11-14-2008, 09:00 AM

Good Lord - I never realized how big his teeth are!

Thinks of way to spin this into the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood!:p

druid

11-14-2008, 10:31 PM

Good Lord - I never realized how big his teeth are!

Thinks of way to spin this into the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood!:p

All the better to bite off a bigger chunk of our paychecks......

STRIKEFIRST

11-17-2008, 07:10 AM

My god be with us...his plans are the same that didn't work for the last 100 years.