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Show Truck or Off Road Truck - Hollywood Vs. Dollywood

Step By Step

Hollywood: Someone drove this thing down the tacky aisle with the crap magnet on.

Hollywood: Dont hate us be-cause were beautiful. We let a few Rico Suave impersonators pose with our pro-ject 4xQuad for $5 a pop.

Hollywood: The fact that theres no transfer case and the paint costs more than every vehicle owned by the 4-Wheel & Off-Road staff combined is only the beginning of whats wrong with this picture.

Dollywood: These yokels started a fistfight after running into each other in a mud pit. The sweetest part is the fact that the chick in the bed isnt even phased by their shenanigans.

Dollywood: Youre a hillrod if farm equipment is the only thing you have to drive while the 4x4 is down for repairsand youre fine with that.

Hollywood: Were pretty sure we know what this guy is overcompensating for.

Dollywood: If you hold the part you just broke triumphantly in the air for all to seeyou might be a redneck.

Would you send your brand-new lift kit out to be chromed before paying top dollar to have someone install it for you? Neither would we. But thats exactly what we saw at a local shop. Some yahoo with more money than sense was giving the technicians a truckload of grief because he didnt want them to put the slightest scratch in the chromed lift for his Cadillac Escalade. Well bet exactly one billion dollars that that vehicle will never see dirt.

Which brings us to the thrust of this story. Hollywood is located in Southern California, where you get the surreal feeling youre on a carnival midway. Dollywood is Dolly Partons theme park, located in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, where you get the feeling youre at home with Jed and Granny Clampet.

In Hollywood they drink half-caff moccachinos and talk on cell phones. In Dollywood they drink Coors and talk face-to-face. In Hollywood their people will meet with your people and schedule for kisses at Spago. In Dollywood you hang out with your buds and eat barbeque. Get the idea? So check it out. Are you all show or all go? Are you Hollywood or Dollywood?