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Day 69: Self Forgiveness on the ‘Fear of Failure’ Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to exist as the ‘Fear of Failure’ Character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to not realize that it is only a thought that comes up that I
accept so immediately that I do not even notice the thought, and immediately go
into the specific play-out once the character has been activated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to believe that who I am is a thought, and to not consider that
if who I am is directed and controlled by a thought, then I am not really here
as myself, as I’m being directed by something in separation from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to accept the thought/belief that I will fail, within this not
considering how can I know that I will fail before I have even tried.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to not realize that when I participate in this thought and
believe it, that I will then actually manifest the failure myself, as I’ve
already decided and accepted within myself that I am going to fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to participate in backchat in relation to the thought I
accepted, within this not realizing that this internal conversation was me
reinforcing my belief in the thought and actually manifesting my own failure by
actually literally talking myself into it, within the very words I allowed
myself to speak within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to participate in the backchat ‘what is the point if I’m just
going to fail’, and not realize that within this I have assumed/taken for
granted that I will/am going to fail, and then to use this
assumption/projection as an excuse to then not even try. Within this, I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that if I am not
yet effective at something, then I am certainly not going to get more effective
by not doing it and walking the practical process that it takes to learn how to
do something effectively, and thus the logic that there is ‘no point’ if I am
‘going to fail’ is completely backwards, as ‘failure’ or a miss-take, would
simply indicate that I require to consider how to realign myself to the task at
hand to be more effective in my approach, or to determine whether it is
something I actually can’t do, and to then let it go completely to focus on
what I can do, so that within this, my focus is always on how to be/become more
effective in whatever way possible, and not sabotaging myself by holding myself
back within a belief/assumption that I can’t do something and that I will fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to participate in the backchat ‘Man, I don’t want to go through
that’, within this, not realizing that what it is that I am saying I ‘don’t
want to go through’ is how I will experience myself within myself to/toward a
certain situation, in this case ‘failure’ as how I’ve formed a relationship to
this word, wherein I take it ‘personally’ and create an experience within
myself when I have ‘failed’, wherein I will experience depression, self pity,
sadness, anger, rage, disappointment in myself, and it is actually these
feelings/emotions that experience in reaction to ‘failure’ that I am wanting to
avoid/not go through, by not even trying. Thus the solution is not to stop
trying in an attempt to avoid the situation that would trigger this reaction,
but rather to stop allowing this experience within myself, toward ‘failure’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to participate in the backchat ‘Why do I always fail?’ within
this not realizing that I do not actually always fail, that I am just seeing it
this way within my mind in order to manipulate myself to have an energetic
experience, in order to distract myself from actually applying myself here,
within this not realizing how the mind distort reality which indicates that the
mind cannot be trusted as it will lead to self deception and patterns that
support self limitation in separating oneself from reality into a world of
make-believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to ignore how I have been mind controlled by a single thought,
where just from believing in and participating in a single thought, an entire
pattern of physical behaviors, backchat internal conversations and
emotion/feeling experiences is activated which I am not actually directing, and
thus I am actually allowing myself to be a mind possessed zombie that is not
actually here and not actually living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to not see that by giving in to the thought of failure and
becoming the ‘fear of failure’ character, I am accepting self limitation, and
thus sabotaging myself to not grow/expand/develop into my fullest potential and
be a real being here.