RULE 7 - Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and
listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

RULE 8 - Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and
they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9 - Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself; do that on your
own time.

RULE 10 - Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 11 - Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

In case you are looking for something for your own child, a nephew, niece, or somebody else's cute kid, look no farther. All should be available at your
nearest bookstore and make great stocking stuffers.

Idiots in Service: This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m.
and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would
be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

Idiots at Work: I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She
informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the
receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

Idiots in the Neighborhood: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

Idiots in Food Service: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he
was sorry, but they only had iceberg. IDIOT SIGHTING #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Idiot Sighting #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually-challenged coworker of mine
when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

Idiot Sighting #3: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to 'downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully,
"this is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

Idiot Sighting #4: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her
system would not turn on.

Idiot Sighting #5: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to
pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from
the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got
that side."