Signs of doomed marriages, according to wedding photographers

According to a recent Reddit thread the biggest indicator of a happy union is the smashing of the wedding cake and the reactions that come after. (File Photo/Black Press Media)

A recent Reddit thread is taking aim at the biggest predictors of a long happy union, asking wedding photographers and videographers the biggest red flags they’ve seen.

Out of 6,600 comments here are the best and worst stories shared.

The general consensus seems to be the cake cutting, or what happens directly after is the biggest indicator. Reddit user bright-red-sunhat writes that although not a wedding photographer, their parent’s wedding video was all the proof they needed.

“At the cake cutting, my mom had specifically asked my dad not to put cake on her face,” states the comment. “Dad did it anyway, mom smacked him across the face, dad said ‘f*** this’ and stormed out of the reception.”

The story ends after a 20 year marriage full of “lies and infidelity” and a divorce. “The cake cutting really seems to be a good rule of thumb.”

MorgaseTrakand, another Reddit user and wedding photographer, agrees the cake cutting is the biggest sign.

“Sometimes one of them, usually the groom, will force cake all over the other faces and embarrass or upset them. I’ve seen this happen a handful of times and all of those relationships … have ended in a divorce.”

Adding to that comment is _My9RidesShotgun, whose husband knew not to smear the cake at the wedding.

“I warned him multiple times before the day NOT TO F****ING FO THIS. Guess what he does when we’re cutting the cake … yup,” states the comment. “We lasted two years and he’s now my ex-husband — so I can definitely attest to the accuracy of this.”

Besides the cake cutting nightmares, other photographers and videographers piped in with their tell-all signs like Aeonasphere, who had been flown out to Iceland for an engagement shoot. According to the comment the first couple days of the shoot went fine but due to some less than luxurious lodging it took a turn for the worse and made things awkward for everyone in the morning. The comment states that the couple began to argue in front of ‘beautiful, solitary glacier’ for two hours — but it gets worse.

“Our team can hear them yelling at each other half a mile away — because there is literally no one else around for miles … Later on I learned they broke up a month before the wedding.”

Another former wedding videographer wrote that when the bride was finished reading a letter from the groom prior to the ceremony — on camera — she stated ‘well that was f***ing stupid.’

“I cut that part out of the final video,” writes the Reddit user, but provided no word on this couples current relationship status.

On a brighter note, one user writes about one couple who had their wedding in a forest. Vegan food, lots of friends and even more dogs, the user writes everything was perfect except for the handmade dress wouldn’t arrive on time for the ceremony. The groom took off his suit, put on a white shirt to go with his boxer shorts and walked down the isle with his bride to be dressed in sweatpants and a mickey mouse t-shirts.

“I was in shock but other than it being strange to have hairy man-legs in the photos,” writes the user. “I think you can tell if they’re going to stay together forever based on how they handle all the little problems a wedding day can bring.”