Keeping Score: Ins and outs of English language

I WILL ADMIT, right off the bat. I am a stickler when it comes to the English language. Can’t help it.

Spent too many years as a writer and an editor. Add some years before that in Catholic school — diagramming sentences, conjugating verbs — and it quickly becomes obvious that grammar is important to me.

Not that I don’t bend the rules a bit when necessary — for comedic effect ... or in order to establish a casual atmosphere for the reader. Or when I hit a tee shot out of bounds or in the pond. #%#+@!!!

But, for the most part, I like to write and speak within the confines of the generally accepted English language.

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That job keeps getting more and more difficult, as we wade further into the 21st Century.

Words that I was completely comfortable using for many years are being left out of the everyday vocabulary of Americans. Use those words and you stand the risk drawing quizzical looks from your audience ... especially if they happen to be from a generation or two younger.

By the same token, new words are being invented almost every day. A lot of that is driven by today’s technology. Some of it is driven by the haste that is fostered by the styles of email and texting.

KEEPING UP with the current language is a difficult task. It changes faster now than ever before.

Not that there wasn’t change in the past.

I can remember, as a kid, laughing whenever my grandmother referred to the “icebox.” And there also was something known as the “breadbox.” Someday, there may even be no need for the refrigerator, as everything will be processed and pre-packaged ... maybe even dehydrated, ready to spring into life as a full meal after adding a few ounces of water.

And there will never be need for a breadbox again, as most of the country is discovering that it is gluten intolerant.

Certainly our lifestyle and ways of entertaining ourselves have changed.

What once was the highlight of a kid’s week — the Saturday matinee — has been wiped from our terminology, along with the Norris Theater in Norristown and the Riant in Conshohocken. The “short,” a staple of the matinee afternoon, could feature anyone from Flash Gordon, to the Three Stooges, to Woody Woodpecker. Now, a “short” means anything but a quick motion picture, before the main event.

And how about that term from yesteryear — the motion picture. Now, everything is a video.

SO LET’S take a quick exercise in the evolution of the English language. We will take a look at some of the words or terms that are “out”, no longer part of our vocabulary, and some that are “in”, non-existent a generation ago.

Out — “Swell” — It was often used by brothers Wally and Beaver Cleaver ... as in “Gee, Beav, those tickets Dad got for the baseball game are really swell.”

In — “Disingenuous” — Since most politicians don’t have the moxie to say that other politicians are sleazy or crooked, they call them disingenuous. You hear it all the time.

Out — “Groovy” — It was the buzzword of the ‘60s. It went along with bell bottom pants and loud polyester shirts. Can’t say I miss that word.

In — “Transitioning” — This word is courtesy of today’s basketball announcers. They talk about players or teams “transitioning” from offense to defense. They used to say “getting back on defense.” Now, in the popular style of making a verb out of a noun, players are “transitioning.” Would love to ask some of those talking heads to spell “transitioning.”

Out — “Gee Whiz” — This many-faceted sentence-starter was a staple on shows like The Andy Griffith Show, Dennis the Menace and the Dick Van Dyke Show, as well as the previously mentioned Leave it to Beaver.

In — “Wassup” — Thanks to all who use this greeting ... for saving us the trouble of having to figure out whether or not they are intelligent.

Out — “Sawbuck” and “Fin” — These terms for a ten dollar bill and a five dollar bill, respectively, are completely out of date. Soon, the prevalent use of credit and debit cards will obliterate any memories of currency.

In — “Mentoring” — Even though the derivation of this term goes all the way back to ancient Greek times (Mentor served as teacher and overseer to the son of Odysseus after the father went off to fight in the Trojan War), it has become extremely popular lately. All types of people are getting credit for mentoring, as if they were doing the most noble thing in the world. Years ago my father mentored me in the art of using a lawnmower. It was not a noble act. He simply wanted me to take over the job of cutting the lawn.

Out — “Butt” — The word is still around but it certainly no longer means the remainder of a burning cigarette. Now it means something larger ... and by the looks of America’s fat society, something much larger.

In — “Ineptocracy — (in-ep-toc’-ra-cy) — And the final entry in our word game comes straight from an e-mail sent to me by an old college friend, who is now a successful attorney in the Washington suburb of Bethesda. Always one to have a clear vision of the world, spiced with a healthy dose of sarcasm, he forwarded this definition of the new word:

“A system of government where the least capable to lead are selected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.”

Sometimes, not all of the time, these new words really capture the spirit of the English language.

Tony Leodora is president of TL Golf Services, a golf promotion company that includes his work as host of the weekly GolfTalk Live radio show on WNTP 990-AM and editor of GolfStyles magazine. He is former sports editor of The Times Herald. Send comments to tlgolfservices@aol.com.