Sunday, April 21, 2013

There is no George Washington

No there wasn't. George Washington is just a myth made up by his believers. Some people will believe anything. In fact, that story about George Washington and the cherry tree? It's been proven to be untrue, so that's all I need to know; obviously George Washington is a myth.

Hey, if you want to believe there really was a George Washington, more power to you. If you want to believe the moon is made of green cheese, you can believe that too.

You know, if there really was a George Washington, why are his followers such hypocrites? And why are there so many different groups of them? I mean, you have all these different groups claiming to represent what's best for America, and they fight with each other all the time. You know what, even if there was a George Washington, his followers turn me off. That must be the proof that there is no George Washington.

And if there really was a George Washington, why is there suffering in America? I thought he promised everybody a land of the free, the pursuit of happiness, life, liberty! If he really did exist, he's obviously just a liar, or some sort of sick tyrant who enjoys watching us suffer, as his followers try to convince the rest of us that he is some sort of great historical figure, the, ha, "father of our country". Right. Some "father".

I understand you might want to believe there was a George Washington, but set your mind free of those old traditions and beliefs and let reason be your guide. Anybody who applies reason to the world around them would have to conclude there never could have been a George Washington. All those documents written about the man, they're just forgeries cooked up by his believers. In fact, there isn't any proof; real solid proof, that George Washington ever walked the earth at all. If you look at the early manuscripts, you can see that they were just a patchwork of individual letters, and probably the work of con artists who were really looking to create this fantasy figure just to gain political power over the weak-minded.

In fact, the early accounts don't even agree with one another consistently, so that also must be solid proof that the George Washington character is just a popular fantasy tale from days gone by. No doubt the people who hold onto such beliefs must be of an exceeding low intelligence, and be the sort of people who probably pray before their meals and go to church on Sunday. But we live in an enlightened age, and the time has come to cast off these old fairy tales. Let us as an evolved species move forward and accept the truth that there was no George Washington, the man never existed, the historical record about him is nothing but fiction written by his blinded followers. Let us move forward into an age of reason!