Pensacola Babylon:

“Did I ever tell you about the time I met the most handsome man in the world?”

“No but most of your stories begin like that.”

“See what had happened was...I was invited to the summer wedding of my good good friend and neighbor, Anjelica Vonshire. Believe me she’s just as gorgeous as her name, however the equally enchanting Nastassja Gallant gave her a good run for her money. But that’s another story.”

“Would you get on with it?”

“Anyways the wedding was to be held at the Big Lagoon state park outdoor pavilion and it was like a thousand degrees and I was sure that I was going to sweat a lot so I wore the most scrumptious pair of linen pants in a butter yellow and a thin as veal cotton sweater vest in ice blue and no shirt underneath so my handsome bare chest showed and a beautiful pair of leather sandals. I looked good. Albeit a little scandalous but good.”

“So what did the bride wear, a thong?”

“Oh she and her dashing groom were tripping balls. But you would have never known it though. The whole place is like a nature preserve on the inter coastal waterway and is sort of edged on a boggy lagoon with all these pitcher plants. So Anjelica Vonshire made a lovely bride in a strapless white satin column dress very austere with no bows or doodads and she wore an up-do.”

“Okay what about the handsome man?”

“Oh yeah. So during the ceremony I was looking over the crowd because the pavilion is shaped like a horseshoe and everybody can see everybody else and I looked straight across and there he was. The most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on or have ever seen in person. You know when you hear people say, piercing blue eyes? Well he had them. I mean you could see them from fifty-feet away. I was stunned. I couldn’t take my eyes off his fine ass. He had a great square jaw and a huge dimple in his chin. He was cuter than Jesus.”

“Really? I never thought Jesus was all that hot.”

“Have you ever seen Jesus of Nazareth?"

"So later we attended the reception at the Perdido yacht club and I was stepping outside when he was stepping inside and we totally locked eyes. He was just inches away from me and I got a good close-up of those eyes. He was fucking dreamy. He smiled in that way a man does when he knows he’s gorgeous and you’ve noticed. You know what I mean? Anyhow, I found my date, Pouri the Persian and we had a seat at the bar and guess who sat next to me? Um hum Mr. Knockout that’s who. Pouri immediately chatted him up with that purring husky accent of her's, ‘So daaaarling tell me about yourself?’ He said I’ve done some modeling in the past...”

“Big surprise there...”

“I know right? Then he went on to say that his name was John and that he liked to skydive and that he had made over 6000 jumps. Honestly he could have read a beer label to me and I would’ve cherished his every word. I was instantaneously infatuated. Eventually we took our leave from my new imaginary boyfriend and later I found out he wasn’t some ordinary local model he was like in the big leagues. Hugo Boss, Montana, Gianni Versace. He’s been photographed by Steven Meisel. The big revelation though was that he had most recently been a catalogue model for International Male.

“Hmm”

“I know I know. Later when I got home I went to the International Male website and there he was.”

“Did you beat-off to his picture?”

“I’ll just keep that to myself. So about three weeks later I was watching the news when they had a top story that a man had been injured in a skydiving accident. My heart sank.”

“Oh no.”

“Yes. He apparently worked for the skydiving place as a cameraman for recording peoples skydiving experience. He opened his shoot and it got tangled up in the camera equipment mounted on his helmet. He plummeted 11,000 feet to the ground. When rescuers found him in a field he was still alive. He was taken to the hospital where he died several hours later.”

“Oh honey that’s a horrible story.”

“I know I know. He was so beautiful and he was very kind and I’ll always remember that moment he locked those gorgeous eyes with mine.”