How can we know if a person is saved?

I'm trying to figure out how to "KNOW" if my Husband is Saved.
We've been married 27 years the end of this month. He was a career Naval Aviator, gone a lot, now works in another country. Bottom line; I've just started to attempt to talk to him about his salvation b/c I know he has never really come forward whenever he's been to church.

How do we know if a person is saved?
In other words, can we identify a genuine experience of salvation?
Surely yes!
First of all, there will be the true peace and joy through the Holy Spirit in the heart! When we make peace with God we have the peace of God. Jesus called it the peace the world cannot give (Jn 14:27). The burden of sin is rolled away! Guilt is gone! The converted man is overflowing with gratitude to God. He shouts with exuberance, "Thank you, Lord, thank You!" If over one sinner who repents there is great joy among the angels "in Heaven," will the angels "on earth" around him stay unmoved (Lk 15:10)?
Secondly, the converted man begins to hate sin and the evil ways of the world. The sinful acts he was indulging in during the past so willingly appear obnoxious to him now. The joy of the Lord has replaced the silly pleasures of sin. This does not mean he will never ever commit any sin. Before getting saved he was like a pig; he would be wallowing in the mire! Now he is a lamb. Even if someone pushes the lamb into the mire, it will at once jump out and not stay there. Have you understood the difference? A child of God will not "live" in sin!
Thirdly, the saved man begins to love Bible meditation, prayer and fellowship of God's children. It is no more the routine of reading the Bible for a few minutes as a religious custom, but a delightful desire to spend hours in meditating it (Psa 1:2). Prayer becomes his very breath. Earlier he had not known God. But now he knows God as his Father. Hence this longing to speak to Him! He begins to feel and appreciate the love of God who has redeemed him (1 Jn 3:1). Fellowship with saints is necessary to comprehend the width, length, depth and height of that love (Eph 3:18).
Fourthly, those who are saved will walk in love with others (1 Jn 3:14). They will restitute matters with the wronged (Mt 5:23,24). Loving the enemies, the persecutors and the opposers is a proof of our being children to a God of love (Mt 5:43-48).
Fifthly, the saved man will just be anxious to share his new-found joy with others (Jn 4:28,29; Mk 5:19). "Let the world get the joy I got!"— This will be his motto.
"More about Jesus would I know,
More of His grace to others show;
More of His saving fullness see;
More of His love—who died for me!"
(Eliza E. Hewitt, 1851-1920)

Eventually the person that has accepted Christ as their personal savior should begin bearing fruit, meaning a change in their conversation, their actions, deeds and their personality should begin to make people scratch their heads as to say is that so and so. They eventually should begin to resemble the righteousness of God, especially if they are in bible class or attending some form Sunday school or attending morning worship regularly. Studying the word of God on a daily basis also helps in the transformation process. Some changes are immediate and most are progressive; eventually their speech or demeanor should begin to change.
And don’t doubt that they have accepted the Lord because Rome wasn’t built in a day. This new life of being born again is a life journey; we are perfected in it day by day via television, the neighbor next door, your current Pastor etc., I’m 50 years old and I’m still being transformed, chastised, revised etc., into his image daily.

A person is changed by the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit talks about Jesus all the time so if someone isn't sharing their faith something may be wrong. God has not given us a spirit of fear but of sound mind and strength.
A life changed brings glory and honor to God. Encourage every believer to be baptized with the Holy Spirit fire. When He shows up there is no denying it. Don't be afraid to ask what has God revealed to you type questions. God is always speaking to us and he will never ask us to do something he has not equipped us for. The lack of commitment in most is the fear God will ask us to some out of the way mission.
What are your husbands hobbies? There are other men with the same interest, find another woman who's husband shares the same passions, have a dinner party. The worst that could happen is you meet new people and made new friends. Don't stop with one God has thousands of followers. ~ Don't let on your seeking to know God will reveal it to you. There is nothing that says I love you more, than being sure another is saved.

I would ask; "What does the crucifixion of Christ mean to you?"
If he answers that it was a miscarriage of justice, it shouldn't have happened or along similar line then I would question his salvation. The crucifixion of Christ is essential for our salvation. The Word of God states;
For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. Romans 1:16
Jesus stated in John 3:14-15
And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up:
That whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.
And in John 12:34
The people answered him, We have heard out of the law that Christ abides for ever: and how say you, The Son of man must be lifted up? who is this Son of man?
Paul stated in 1 Corinthians 1:
For Christ sent me not to baptize, but to preach the gospel: not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of none effect.
For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.
The crucifixion of Christ is paramount for our salvation, if he has no understanding in this matter then he must repent and believe the gospel.
It is by belief / trusting in the finished work of Christ we are saved, not by a prayer, not by an altar call, not by raising a hand but by simple belief in what Jesus accomplished on the cross.
I have prayed that your husband may have his eyes opened to this wonderful fact,
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God,
Not of works, lest anyone should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

I believe you mean Ephesians 2:8-9: "For grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast" (NKJV)
If he is really saved, you should expect him to ACT like someone who is saved. No one can really know another's heart. So if someone tells me that he is saved, I treat him as such. I would question his conduct if his actions appear more like someone of the world than one who is of Christ. Because if he looks like the world, that is probably where his heart is also.

A person is saved if they publicly confess Jesus the CHRIST as their personal Lord and Savior. Accept that He is the Son of God, that He came to save us by death on the cross. That He rose from the dead, He went back to heaven and He is seated on the right hand of God the Father.
Confession is one step, to complete the whole process; transformation begins. Transformation from the former self to a Christ like person. We are saved not because we are special in any way, it is because we accept and obey the will of our Master Jesus the CHRIST. That is the very reason we shall be accepted in heaven. As such, a saved person is also a transformed person.

Are you, yourself, a born-again Believer? How long have you enjoyed that status? When were you born again? What happened back then? What sequence of events led up to your profession of faith in Jesus as Savior? In the 27 years of your marriage have you demonstrated your love for our Savior in Christian love, witnessing, church activities? Do you read the Bible together? Has he ever indicated to you that he is born again, to children, other family, friends? Is your personal relationship with your husband built upon mutual faith in Jesus as Savior by grace through faith? What evidence is there of that?
I'm NOT saying that his reticence is your fault! I am saying that if you are daily demonstrating your love in Jesus, and he is not, then he should sit down with the Pastor of your church, or with friends in your church. The Holy Spirit is always ready to speak to him. The Pastor and other members of the Body of Christ will, gently, prayerfully, mediate the entrance of the Holy Spirit.
I praise God that you are speaking to him about it ..... and gently. A soft voice, an encouraging word, uttered in love, goes a long way.

1 Cor. 15:1-5 declares the Gospel of Christ. Rom. 1:16 says that the Gospel is the power of God unto salvation. 2 Thes. 1:8 tells us that we must obey the Gospel of Christ to be saved. Romans 6:1-5 tells how to obey the death-burial-Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Then in Romans 6:17-18 tells us that we obey this form of doctrine we become free from sin and become servants of God, or rather have a newness of life. Thus in Acts 22:16 the answer given to Saul or Paul is what is needed.

Do we have assurance of salvation? Yes and No.
We can have a moral assurance - in a sense, we can ask ourselves, "Did I get baptized?", "Have I confessed all my sins?", "Have I done a grave sin that prevents me from receiving God's grace?". If we are to die right now, we can have peace that Heaven is our destination.
We do not have an eternal assurance of salvation - that is reserved from Christ our Judge alone.
What we do not want is false assurance.

I am assuming that your husband does not actively deny God or you probably would not be asking. If he does, then there is a greater battle to be waged by the Spirit, through you.
For your edification, the first thing you need to determine is does he believe in God...does he believe that one God exists and exhibits Himself through three distinct persons...Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. If he can answer and believe to the affirmative on these counts then there is a much better chance that he is, or can come to be a true Christian.
Has he been baptized, with water, and in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit? If he has, and has not rejected that baptism, then the Holy Spirit has been invited to dwell in his heart, and has not been pushed out as long as he has not rejected the Spirit.
Baptism itself is the work of God to bestow the Spirit, and the act of being Baptized is a work (this is the ritual part that we participate in and is the greatest work that man can do on earth) of man's obedience to the Word of God, and a clear sign to all that the Spirit has begun His work in your husband's life...no matter if it was a sprinkling of water as an infant or by complete immersion as an adult, or somewhere in between. Scripture promises that the water, when joined by the Word of God makes the invitation, and the Spirit answers the invitation, and becomes multiplied and amplified in the person to which He comes.
Being multiplied and amplified means different things in different people. Some accept many gifts from the Spirit and others accept few. The guidance of Scripture shows that, no matter how great or small the gift, it will be used to do the work of God on earth. Even small gifts, (teaching, peacemaking, humility, generosity, etc.) have been used to glorify God in great ways. When the work is accomplished, and the glory for it's achievement is given to God, and not self, that is an excellent sign that a person is a true Believer in Christ.
Another clear sign is living in and with the communion of Saints. This is not as mystical as it may sound. If you attend Church, confess your sin and sinful nature, accept Christ's absolution of your sins and participate with your brothers and sisters in Christ in accomplishing God's great works, then you are a participant and active member of the Body of Christ.
A final clear sign is when a person readily accepts, and actively seeks the body and blood of Christ as prepared for us by Christ Himself. The Lord's supper is a gift to all believers. In Spirit and mystery Christ comes to us in the bread and wine, to deliver to us His true physical Body and Blood which He shed on the cross for us so that we may live with Him eternally. Those who seek this, know that they are among the worst of all sinners, and do not deserve the atonement that Christ gives us by His sacrifice, but they also know that the history of the act, nor its purpose can be denied. This is why we come together on Sunday...to share in this gift and to give thanks, and praise to Him for this...the greatest and most complete gift ever.
I complete this prayer with you, that your husband will come to know the Lord very personally, and will recognize that you love him and care for him so much that you want to share this precious gift with him. May the Holy Spirit complete the giving of this gift in His good time. May you both be blessed with the love of God eternally.
AMEN

One of the best, simplest and basic qualifiers is to ask: "Do you believe that The Lord Jesus Christ is the God that made you?"
I also realize that a young or immature Christian may not have a clear understanding of the tri-unity of God, the virgin birth, the death, burial and bodily resurrection of our Lord. A believer could have also fallen victim to false teaching but a truly born again believer will never deny these fundamental doctrines.

It's a tough thing, one minute you think your brother is saved, then you find out that they went out and did something totally umbilical, and aren't asking like Christian anymore. Yet, there are true Christians that make stupid mistakes, (we all do.) but, when a true believer makes a mistake, he/she repents, whereas the (thought so) Christian doesn't. The best way to know that your brother/sister in Christ are true, is that in hard times, they fall on their face before God, and not apart. Wow, that's powerful. A real Christian will grab Gods hand, not point their finger in his face. No matter how long someone hides something, it will be seen .

Jesus said that it is for whosoever will, meaning that it is an act of willful submission for whoever sees themselves in need of the Savior. Jesus alludes to this in Jn. 3 in that we must be born again of water and spirit. This was fulfilled on the day of Pentecost in Acts 2, which was expounded on by Peter as to the meaning of this occurrence and that Jesus was crucified for this reason. When conviction arrested the consciences of those questioning, Peter followed up with the plan of salvation that was incorporated in every New Testament church. The commandment was to repent, be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. His exhortation was to save yourselves from this untoward generation (Acts 2:38,39). Of course, after this experience, we must live a holy, sanctified life that is pleasing to The Lord. Salvation cannot be earned, as it is an act of grace that we respond to by faith, which we can fall from if we we are not adherent to the Word and will of God for our lives. We cannot obtain a forever salvation based on a one-time act but it is important how we are baptized and how we live as Spirit-filled believers. We must be the light of the world and salt of the earth and this is impossible unless we take on the identity of Jesus by having His name called over us in baptism and are filled with the Spirit. We are actually saved from a fallen nature and given a divine nature, which is the infilling of the Holy Spirit. If we abide in the divine nature of God that fills us, we shall escape the judgment of this generation. We can know that we are safe in Jesus but salvation is for those who overcome, for Heaven will be filled with those who overcame by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony. It is a fight to the finish but we can make it because God has given us gifts, armor, and fruit. If we are in Jesus, fear not, for we are in the One Who overcame the world.

I was not put on earth to judge or question my wife's (or anyone's ) salvation. My first wife died and my father (earthly), an evangelist, introduced me to my present wife. Since I prayed and trusted my heavenly father for a wife, I know that God was in control. It took 13 years for God to answer my prayer and I firmly believe that it took that long for me to mature spiritually and for Connie's husband, a pastor, to be called to heaven for God to join us as husband and wife. Due to the circumstances, neither of us saw the other come forward to an alter or be baptised. I am not perfect and neither is Connie but if I asked my Father for a fish, would He have given me a stone?
John Hawthorn

Can your husband say this;
Rom 10:9-10 NIV - {9} If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. {10} For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.
No one can say this from the heart unless they already have the Holy Spirit.
1Co 12:3 NIV - {3} Therefore I want you to know that NO ONE who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, "Jesus be cursed," and NO ONE can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit.
Just keep asking God to change his heart if you feel he isn't saved...
Rom 2:29 NLT - {29} No, a true Jew is one whose heart is right with God. And true circumcision is not merely obeying the letter of the law; rather, it is a change of heart produced by God's Spirit. And a person with a changed heart seeks praise from God, not from people.

(1Cor 7:14 [KJV])
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
Walk in the Love and Glory of our Lord, and pray always for him, the Holy Spirit will work on his heart. May the Holy Spirit lead you always. God Bless.
And as we all know when 2 are joined they become 1 flesh.
Matthew 19:5 For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.