Moms Gone Wild

Heather and I are now back in Los Angeles after four days of fun in San Francisco. Heather, for the most part, was tied up with BlogHer events during the day, so I had lots of time on my own. One way I entertained myself was by taking a stroll through the grittier part of the city. This was very exciting, and at one point I even found myself hurrying through a huge crowd of sketchy characters dealing drugs right out in the open! I literally saw little packets being exchanged for wadded up bills as if it was perfectly legal. A couple of the dealers did look at me in fear, however, which pleased me to no end. They totally thought I was a cop. Undercover and what not. Awesome.

I also saw lots of homeless guys. The homeless in San Francisco are perhaps the coolest homeless in the world, and have signs that say cool things like: “My wife was kidnapped by zombies…need money for ransom” and “Give me your spare change and I’ll let you kick me in the balls!” There wasn’t a single clichéd “Will Work For Food” sign to be found within city limits. One guy wasn’t very cool though. In fact he confused/disturbed me during the following exchange:

First, thanks for noticing, homeless guy. Second, why would having a big dick make me give you change? Aren’t people called dicks because they DON’T do things like give change to the homeless? Just sayin’.

Anyhoo…I also went to a couple Giants’ games and a screening of the movie Hancock. At night I would return to the hotel after the BlogHer seminars were over and it was a madhouse! It was like one of the Girls Gone Wild videos, except instead of college girls it was moms. There were moms dancing, shouting, drinking, even throwing room parties that were broken up by security. Heather even claims that Redneck Mommy was flashing her breasts! If anyone filmed the proceedings I guarantee you’ll be seeing commercials for it on late night television in no time.

One of the nice things about having gone up to San Francisco this weekend was that it allowed us to attend our friend Jackie’s “Hair Cutting Party.” Jackie (for those of you who haven’t been following her story on Heather’s website www.thespohrsaremultiplying.com) is preparing to have surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from her brain. Being the awesome person that she is, she decided to throw a party when she cut her long locks. Many of the guests – myself included – joined Jackie in cutting our hair, and now sport a shaved head or buzz cut. Throughout the whole thing Jackie carried herself with such poise and positivity. What a lady. I won’t write too much about it here though because I know Heather is going to write an in-depth account of the day tomorrow on her site.

Lastly, coming home from our trip was made a lot easier thanks to the fact this little face was waiting for us:

36 Comments

Yeah. Mom’s are the secret wildest women in the world. They just have to condense all their wildness into small and select portions of time, thus creating a more dense and chewy wildness.
I, personally, am waiting for the oldmommy bloghers. Because we have been there, done that, and are now sitting back and enjoying the view.
The view of our grown-up kids bringing us refreshing beverages and rubbing our shoulders and crooning, “Oh, Mommy. You are the best Mommy in the world.”
Or something like that.
Glad you had a good time. Glad you’re back.

I’m so glad you had a good time, and I’m glad you went! Long ago, I dragged my husband to a convention for mostly-ladies in San Francisco. He sat back with a bottle o’ rum, and played nicely with others, and in general ended up having way more fun than he’d expected to. I admire dudes who can roll with that kind of thing.

I’ve only been to SF once, but we stayed for 10 days and did a lot of the exploring you can pretty much only do without small children. It was a blast. I have a soft spot for that city and look forward to bringing my boys when they’re old enough to appreciate the soul of San Francisco.

Thanks for the link, Mike! You and Heather were the bestest. I wish we lived closer so we could all hang out. Stupid separate countries.

The homeless guys really did rule. I saw a sign that said, “Need a hooker – please help.” Nasty. Not sure who would have the raw end of the deal in that scenario – either way you totally know someone would be getting some sort of STD.

Everyone is putting up these awesome posts about Blogher and all I get to write about is cherry picking- whoo-hoo!!

But I do have some “fond” memories of San Fran myself so here goes. During one trip I was sitting in a Starbucks with a client when this total wack job appeared out of no where and head-butted the newspaper machine into the side of the building. Then he calmly walked over, picked it up and put it right back in it’s place and crossed the street like nothing ever happened. We were both speechless for a couple of minutes.

(Um, just in case you’re scratching your head and thinking who the hell IS this woman, I was the one with Andi in the bar after the most awesome conversation about a certain BIG TIME blogger that contained the c-word. ahem.)