Hollins signals to the Bobcats what other teams have been doing to them for 19 games straight

Antawn Jamison brings the term "face guarding" to a whole new light

Ladies and Gentlemen, the cover of your Bobcats 2011-12 DVD

Coach Smarts performs a monologue from Hamlet

Charlotte Bobscraps: Well, no team is more appropriate to kick off a Worst of the Weekend post than these guys.

It didn't even sound so bad at first when you read that Charlotte only lost by 5 to a Grizzlies team that will finish no worse than 5th in the Western Conference. But upon a closer look you can see that 22 turnovers (in a game where both teams combined for over 40) and blowing a 13 point lead still makes the loss very Bawful-esque.

Oh, and losing 19 straight games, almost a third of the entire season, that will not only get you mentioned on here, but probably get you your very own museum full of wax figures and other memorabilia.

It was a tight game with the Bobscraps down 3 and 20 seconds to go. With circus music playing in the background, Gerald Henderson finds himself a clear path to the basket only to have the ball bounce of his knee and then his stomach rolling out of bounds.

Despite the loss, Bobcats coach Paul Silas was proud of how hard this team fought.

"This
is the experience we need," Silas said. "We really are not an
experienced team but any team that we play we have to believe we can be
as tough as them and we were tonight. We don't have to play better than them, but just think we're better so that we can go to bed at night with some false sense of dignity."

After getting undressed in public by the Spurs earlier in the week, the Lakers went back to San Antonio to seek some payback.

Bynum was so peeved after the last loss to the Spurs he had this to say in the post game interview:

So to back those words up, he comes to San Antonio and lays an egg.

Bynum finished the game with just 2 rebounds, after dominating the Spurs with 30 boards in their first meeting of the season.

As a matter of fact, Manu Ginobili had 3 times as many rebounds as Beanstalk, and he's a shooting guard for God's sake.

The Lakers allowed the Spurs Big 3, you know the guys you always plan for when facing them, to go off for 63 points on 55% shooting.

Heck, the Spurs as a whole shot over 60% from the floor for the second straight game against the Lake Show.

Who needs size when you've got speed? And the opposition not having any idea what a defensive rotation is, well that's surely going to help.

Oh, and Kobe Bryant is back! He only took 12 shots and hit 7 of them. Such restraint Kobe. I applaud you.

"I'm back now," Bryant said. "It took me a half. The second half, it
felt like I was back in a good rhythm. The game just got away from us."

Good to see that Kobe is back. Now if he could just do something about the rest of the Lakers.

New York Bricks: Amare Stoudemire came back and the Knicks went kaput.

The Knicks got outscored virtually every quarter except the fourth to a Cavs team that had lost 17 out of their last 22. The Knicks were so bad on this night that they got out-rebounded by the Cavs 32-52.

Hell, the Knicks even let Samardo Samuels (even his own mother doesn't know who he is) shoot 7-12 from the floor as the Cavs built a 20 point lead and never looked back.

"I can't explain it whatsoever," Cavs coach Byron Scott said of
Cleveland's dominance over New York. "We came out ready and they were
kind of not into it."

And this is coming from a coach who in recent years is no stranger to the lottery.

Baron Davis was initially placed in the starting lineup but then sat out due to a stomach virus.

Looks like the memories of his Cav playing days still make him feel a little queasy.

Purple Paupers: Well, anytime you see a Paupers vs. Thunder matchup, you know it's going to be a long night in Sacramento. I could go on and on about the Paupers getting down by as many as 15, rejected at the rim 11 times, and shooting a measly 60% from the free throw line.

But instead, I want you to watch this video of a game winner Marcus Thornton had a few days ago.

Check out Francisco Garcia's reaction around the 9 second mark:

Look, I get it. The Paupers are tanking and it's not a well kept secret. But seriously guys, try not to make it that obvious.

SATURDAY:

Barbosa also throws these type of tantrums at his
local grocery store

Shhhh….don’t talk, just put your head on my shoulder

Why Dwight, Whyyyyyyy!!

Chris Bosh with his best Thor impression.

What do you mean I can't get the call? I'm gonna be in Dumb and Dumber 2 this fall!

Indiana Erasers: Playing a big time struggling team in the 1776'ers, the Pacers had a hiccup at home, falling 106-109 in OT.

Trailing by as many as 14, the Pacers clawed their back to force the overtime, but a 4 point play from Lou Williams set the tone as the 1776'ers held on to win.

The Pacers couldn't even get a shot off in the final 10 seconds of overtime.

A 2-12 shooting performance from Granny Danger didn't make things any easier for Indiana. What a way to waste a 32 point, 12 rebound game from David West.

"I just said, 'You know, guys, we've worked so hard for two years. I
would just hate like heck for us to let this season slip away from us,' " Doug Collins said. " 'Let's give ourselves a chance to get into the playoffs.
Let's see what we can do. I mean is getting swept in the first round really that bad? Let's do our best.' And our guys responded."

The 1776'ers are 1-10 when allowing their opponents to score 100 points or more. I'll give you $5 if you can tell me who the one win was against.

Miami cHeat: Yeah, they didn't have Lebron or Bosh, but when you're playing the friggin' Wizards Generals, you better believe that anything less than a win is going to get you heckled.

Speaking of heckled, Wade banned his girlfriend from sitting courtside due to being taunted by her during games. Apparently she even screams "airball!" when he flubs a shot. I'm not making this up.

The cHeat barely shot 40% from the floor, had 22 turnovers, and let the Generals lead by as many as 14 points. And did I mention that this game was in Miami?

Anytime you let players like Cartier Martin and Kevin Saraphin go off for 8-15 shooting you know you're in for a long night (of trying to figure out who the hell those guys are).

As for the Generals, they have now won 3 in a row, and 5 out of their last 7. Way to uh....save the season fellas.

*head explodes*

With the loss, the cHeat have all but killed their chances of grabbing the top spot in the East.

"Second place is not a bad place to be," Wade said.

Sounds like an echo from last June.

Dallas Mavericks: Playing the Bulls, the Mavs managed just 8 points in the opening quarter.

Then it just got worse from there.

Dallas shot below 40% from the field, got a below average night from Dirk (6-15 from the floor) and an average night from Carter (4-11 from the floor) and allowed themselves to get down 15 points as a half-hearted comeback in the fourth wasn't enough.

Derrick Rose had a fairly subdued game (by his standards anyway) as he accumulated 11 points and 8 assists as the Bulls kept their hold on the top seed in the NBA.

"I think he played a very controlled type game. He was taking care of
the ball, running the offense and just trying to get a feel for being
out there again," Chicago coach Tom Thibodeau said. "It was a great impression of TJ Ford if I ever saw one."

While Dallas has already clinched a playoff spot, shooting 25% from 3 point land and 39% shooting overall just reeks of a team waiting to give Miami's 2007 playoff performance a run for its money.

Dallas has lost 3 of 5 and the playoffs start in a week.

SUNDAY:

Mike Brown: Thanks Coach...er....I mean Kobe for helping us with that one

Goran Dragic tries out for the NBA long jump team...and fails

So that's what a 20 game losing streak feels like

"Are my hands too small? Damn, I think they're too small"

"Maybe if I shoot like this, the Cavs game will feel more competitive"

I told Kobe to stay away from those hot peppers

OKC Blunder: Well, things were looking good with the Thunder up 18 in the third and the Lakers looking like yesterdays news.

The Lakers began to pick up the intensity late in the 2nd half, as even players like Metta World Peace were being showered with praises for giving a series of vintage performances in recent weeks. Unfortunately, the vintage performance Metta World Peace gave on this day had more to do with the psycho Ron Artest off the court, than the superb defender on it:

Here's another take on what you just saw:

World Peace tweeted "I just watched the replay again..... Oooo.. My celebration of the dunk
really was too much... Didn't even see James ..... Omg... Looks bad,".

Yet he clearly bumps into Harden, and randomly swings his elbow the other way. After laying out Harden he keeps walking on as though nothing happened.

Hmmmm....

After Peace got ejected, the Lakers closed the gap in the fourth quarter, and both overtimes that followed. Kobe Bryant became Kobe Bryant, Andrew Bynum was nowhere to be found, and Scott Brooks became....well Scott Brooks I guess.

Kobe Bryant performed some of his greatest magic tricks to rescue the Lakers:

Did anyone notice how both shots the Thunder tried to get off at the end of each OT was an off balance 3 pointer with a hand in Westbrick/Durant's face? Scott Brooks couldn't design a great play coming out of a timeout if his life depended on it. Hell, he even made Mike Brown look good on this night.

The Thunder ended up choking the game, lost hope for clinching the top spot in the conference and will face a much tougher road to the WCF assuming the top 6 in the West stay the same by season's end.

Charlotte Bobscraps: You know what's worse than losing 19 games in a row? Try losing 20 games in a row. Only a few days after the anniversary of MJ's 63 point playoff game against Boston no less.

The Bobscraps lost to the Purple Paupers. They didn't just lose, they got crushed as the Kings put on a whoopin' with a final score of 114-88.

Charlotte was down by as many as 35 (for the fifth time in the past two weeks) and managed 21 turnovers.

"The biggest thing now is having some pride as men," said Bobcats forward Tyrus Thomas. "Not so much as basketball players. We've got to fight it out every second until the horn blows. Because right now the only thing that blows is us"

Minny T-Pups: As if the way the season has crashed and burned wasn't bad enough, the T-Pups had a 21 point lead against a tanking Warriors team.....and blew it.

Something tells me that Kevin Love auditioning for the new Super Troopers film with his porn stache had something to do with it:

This is the picture you see in the dictionary next to the word "tools".

Cleveland Cadavers: Progress, people. Progress. One night after getting blistered by 39 points to the Pissed-Ons, the home team lost by "merely" 16 points. They even had the game tied at 57 before allowing the visitors to go on a 24-2 run that featured four three-pointers from Jrue Holiday.

Milwaukee Bucks: Fighting for their playoff lives, the Bucks laid a monstrous egg, dropping a critical game against the Wizards. Defense, supposedly a strong point of the Deer, was nowhere to be seen, as they allowed the Wizards to shoot over 55% from the game and almost that well from distance. The WIZARDS! Skiles must have been turning over in his grave.

Charlotte Bobraps: They've already wrapped up the league's worst record, so they're not actually tanking, it just looks that way. Extending their losing streak to 18 games in the bawfulest way possible, Charlotte got destroyed by the Bulls on their own home floor, highlighted by this sequence, as detailed from the AP recap:

In the first half Matt Carroll had a breakaway layup but put if off the glass too strong and Byron Mullens, who seemed to be in position for a follow-up dunk, had the ball bounce off his hands and out of bounds for a turnover.

That does sound like the Bobcats we know and love. Getting outrebounded 57-38 also sounds like the Bobcats we know and love.

No caption here. This picture just makes me laugh.

Detroit Pissed-Ons: One day after beating the Cavaliers by 39, the Pissed-Ons faced an opponent of a different caliber, sort of like the difference between a cap pistol and a Desert Eagle.

To nobody's surprise, Detroit got blown out of the gym, trailing by 37 in the first half and 41 in the fourth quarter before finally, mercifully, losing by 32.

Three point shooting: Both teams subscribed to the "If at first you don't succeed, keep on chuckin' from distance" philosphy, as the Pistons and Hawks shot 7-for-25 and 8-for-28, respectively, from the three point line.

Hey guys, sometime practice doesn't make perfect.

In the following example, the Hawks are the Desert Eagle. I think you can figure out who represents the Pistons.

Toronto Craptors: Coming into this game, the Heat have only lost four games at home. Toronto was not going to make it five. They shot 1-for-16 from three, were outrebounded 41-33, had more turnovers than assists, and scored only 23 points in the second half.

However, they saved the bawfulest for last: Eleven seconds after he checked into the game, the Toronto defense let Eddy Curry dunk on them.

Words escape me.

Nyets "fans": For the second straight home game, the Nyets fans serenaded the opposing team's star with chants of "MVP!" This time, it was Carmelo who was the recipient.

With fans like this, it's no wonder that Williams has already said that he's testing free agency this summer. A summer that will start much earlier for him than many others.

Carmelo Anthony, he's not making it up quote:
"It was a great Knicks atmosphere out there tonight,"

Gerald Wallace, on being used to feeling like a visitor on his home floor: "You must have forget I was in Charlotte for seven years. Lord knows I've tried to forget it, but I think it will take years of therapy and electroshock treatments before I can block that out of my mind."

New Jersey Nyets: On top of their fans' bawfulness, the Nyets had to score the last basket of the first quarter in order to avoid being outscored by Anthony.

Yes, I do have a finger that can bend both of these ways at the same time. Why do you ask?

New Orleans Hornets: Leading by one at the half, the Hornets took a collective dump on the court in the third quarter, letting Memphis start with a 20-4 run. It didn't get much better, as the Care Bears outscored the Hornets 17-8 the rest of the quarter.

New Orleans committed 24 turnovers for 27 points going the other way and were outscored in the paint 56-34.

Houston Rockets' defense: Nowitzki dropped 35 points on only 18 shots, but that's ok. He's an MVP. He'll get his. But Vince freakin' Carter? 23 points from half-man, half poopstain? On the same night that Knee-Mac went off (for him) for 17 points? I can understand pulling that 'I felt sorry for him, so I let him drive by me six times' stuff if you were playing against him in the local park, but you're fighting for a playoff spot, Houston!

﻿

Invisible chorus line

﻿

Devin Harris, lesson learned quote: "We've got three games at home where we play well," Harris said. "We've put ourselves in a nice position but we've still got to go out and play the games."

Remarkable restraint, Devin.

Can't somebody just give DeMarcus a hug? Anyone?

Stephen Jackson, seeing only half the picture quote: "Our best player (Duncan) doesn't play and we still win by 20," said Stephen Jackson, one of four reserves who scored in double figures. "It's our preparation, giving every team we face respect, and going out and playing hard."

It's not just your preparation, Cap'n Jack. It's also because you were playing the Kings. On top of that, you were also playing the Kings.

Excremento Kings: Speaking of the Kings, they held their own for 24 minutes, as they trailed the Spurs by one point going into halftime.

Unfortunately, they were mandated to play 48 minutes, even if they didn't feel like it. Hands stayed away from faces in droves, as the Spurs put up 69 points in the second half on the way to a 25 point victory.

Pau is felled by the Atomic Armpit of Richard Jefferson

Kobe Bryant, model teammate: "It's been good to see how much the guys have progressed in doing things they ordinarily would not try to do," Bryant said. "Now when I'm not out there, you have to do other things. You have to experiment with your game, and they had a great deal of success with that and their confidence is at a high level, which is great. What's even greater is that I get to come back, take 32 shots next game, and crush everyone's confidence like it's a squishy bug. I gotta make up for lost time, right?"

Chris' Wednesday Lacktion Report

Bucks-Generals: Jon Brockman earned one board...in 38 seconds for a non-lacktive Mario.
For Washington, Brian Cook fried up a mushroom stew in 32 seconds for a celebratory Mario of his own.

Sixers-Extremely Sad Cavs: Nikola Vucevic earned three boards in 7:58, but also trio'd up on fouls and turnovers each for a 6:3 Voskuhl.

Knicks-Nyets: Johan Petro pilfered perfection from the field (on one
attempt) in 6:41 with two turnovers and a foul for a 3:2 Voskuhl.

Craptors-Heat: Aaron Gray skated away from flawlessness in one field goal try and a board in 13:53 with one lost rock and three fouls for a
4:3 Voskuhl.

Hornets-Grizzlies: Memphis's Hamed Haddadi countered a field goal, two free throws, and three boards with two lost rocks and a foulout in
15:42 for a 8:7 Voskuhl ratio. Josh Selby took a rejection and a brick in just 53 seconds for a +2 and a Mario!

Jazz-Frail Blazers: Utah's Blake Ahearn bricked thricely (twice from the Pioneer Courthouse Square) and also fouled and lost the rock once for a +5 in 318 seconds!

Lakers-Warriors: Jordan Hill jacked up two boards in 2:33 with a brick, rejection, foul and two turnovers for a 3:2 Voskuhl.

Justin Bieber (and his new lesbian haircut) are getting ready for life when he hits his late 20's.

Where satisfaction at your team thinking they're better without you happens

What kinda has 2 thumbs and likes to freak out his own team?

THIS GUY

Minneapolis Lakers: Well, they say revenge is a dish best served cold. And this one clearly never left the ice box.

After humiliating the Spurs on the road, SA turned a 2 point deficit in the 2nd quarter into an 18-0 run that brought back fond memories of the Lakers 2005 season.

Shooting a blistering 60% from the floor, the San Antonio just kept pushing the ball to get easy baskets. So what did the Lakers do to counter with two 7 footers?

They just tried to push the pace even faster.....until they got ran out of their own building.

"The tempo was in their favor," Lakers coach Mike Brown said. "They sped us up, and we did not look like we had -- nor did we try -- to get control of the game. We got out of character a bit of the way we've been playing lately. You have to give the Spurs credit. I envy teams that have a coach who knows what he's doing. Still can't believe I left my notebook back in SA"

As for the player of the game, all I can say is hide your wives, hide your children, and make sure you've really hidden your wives again because Tony Parker was a one man wrecking ball.

Going off for 29 points (14-20 shooting, same number as his attempts for snagging his teammates girlfriends) and 13 assists put the Lakers on their heels....until they just toppled backwards.

Kobe should return for the next meeting between the two teams this Friday.

Don't be surprised if he takes away shots from Bynum/Gasol and goes 7/30.

Boston Celtics: I know Bill Russell isn't dead yet, but when he saw this statistic, he found the nearest open grave and began rolling:

Knicks Bench: 55 points (sans Lin and Amare)

Celtics Bench: 2 points

The Knicks were down 17-24 in the first, when JR Smith walked up the court and hit a 3.

And that's okay, because teams are going to hit a 3 now and again.

Just when you let them do that, oh I don't know, 18 more times you know you're just begging for a loss.

"We didn't defend the 3 at all tonight," Pierce said. "We dug ourselves a huge hole that we couldn't climb out of."

Didn't defend the 3 at all? The Celtics were playing defense as though the key was an island and everything else was water.

They let Steve Novak shoot 80% from 3 point range (8-10) alone.

Can't wait for him to star in the Revenge of the Nerds reboot, with Matt Bonner as his sidekick and Brian Scalabrine as the main villain.

Cleveland Cadavers: First off, I want to give the Cavs some credit. Anytime you can play for pride and trim a 50 point deficit to 39, you know you're fighting hard to land Anthony Davis.

This has to be the most 'Bawful game of the year. The Cavs though it'd be cool to play basketball like something out of a game from 1947.

They were down 50-100 and the fourth quarter hadn't even started.

The Pistons were stunned that they got out tanked so quickly, and effortlessly.

Hell, even the Bobcats were jealous.

The Cavs "trimmed" the deficit to make the final score a "respectable" 77-116.

"Trust me, I'm trying to figure out what happened myself," Jamison said. "I just know that I'm not going to be watching SportsCenter or reading any newspapers for the next couple days."

I'm pretty sure with the season his team is having, Jamison (-47 for the game) has probably stayed away from SportsCenter and any newspapers all season.

Who knows, maybe the Cavs are suffering from a lottery hangover.

Scary thing is, the Cavs got off more shots than the Pistons did, and had more free throw attempts.

After doing some research, I knew this had to be one of the biggest blowouts in NBA history.

This wasn't the worst of all time, because that honor went to....

*drum roll*

Your 1991 Cleveland Cadavers, who got blown out the Heat 148-80.

Here's to consistency folks.

Chris's Lactose Intolerant Report:

Pacers-Sixers: Nikola Vucevic vanquished 2 boards and a field goal in 11:29 with a 5:4 Voskuhl via near-foulout.

Sad Cavs-Pistons: Ben Wallace botched a board in 14:34 with a brick, foul, and turnover for a 2:1 Voskuhl.

Celtics-Knicks: Greg Stiemsma went +3 in 9:46 via fouls, also earning a 3:0 Voskuhl. Ryan Hollins had himself a pot of gold worth 1.15 trillion (70 seconds), and JaJuan Johnson went Goomba hunting for a mere 44 seconds to garner himself a Mario.

New York's Jared Jeffries was perfect on one attempt from the field in 5:39, but fouled twice and lost the rock once for a 3:2 Voskuhl.

Grizzlies-Wolves: Gilbert Arenas bricked once from the Mary Tyler Moore statue for a +1 in 309 seconds, while Quincy Pondexter also tossed a brick from the Foshay Tower and fouled thricely for a +4 in 366 seconds.

Spurs-Lakers: Patrick Mills earned a +2 for San Antonio in 220 seconds via foul and turnover.

Meanwhile, Darius Morris also earned the same suck differential in the same timespan for the Lakeshow, but via brick and turnover.

Minnesota Timberpups: In case the Pups were unclear on the concept, allowing your opponent to score twice as many points as you do is never a good thing. It's not often that you let the other team's starting unit all finish with a higher +/- than the number of minutes they played, but that will happen when the score is 64-30 at halftime. The combined +/- of the Indiana starters was +153! Minnesota was down by 25 points after only nine minutes of play.

Tyler Hansbrough/Leandro Barbosa: I could have put the entire Pacers bench here, as they combined to shoot 11-for-36 (the starters were 28-for-52, by way of comparison), but these two sparkplugs shot 5-for-21, committed five fouls and turned the rock over five times. Despite scoring four points and pulling in four rebounds, Hansbrough still almost had a Voskuhl.

David West, pulling no punches quote: "...especially when you're dealing with teams that don't have anything to play for this time of year, like the Timberwolves."

Philadelphia 76ers: From early-season darlings to late-season collapse, the 76ers are on a freight train going the wrong way. They haven't beaten a decent team this month and followed up a home loss to the Nyets with a double-digit defeat to the Howard-less Magic, getting outrebounded 46-30 in the process. What was worse was the Philly defense allowing Orlando to shoot 11-for-18 (61%) from the three point line.

That's all Orlando can do! Can't anyone close out to the three point line? Sheesh, it's like being in a Scooby Doo cartoon and never pulling the mask off the bad guy.

Harden's transformation is almost complete...

Toronto Craptors: A 22 point loss at home? With Ben Uzoh getting significant minutes? Must be tankin' time!
If only we had some kind of gif that would encapsulate the struggles the Raptors had tonight. If only...

Atlanta Hawks: Sure, you may have won, Atlanta, but you had plenty of bawful. Being outrebounded (including giving up double digit boards to the aforementioned 6'3" Uzoh) is one thing, but you shot 6-for-21 from three point range and bricked 11 free throws.

Ball

Hornets/Bobcraps: Ho. Lee. Crap. This was bawful at it's finest. It was like a Null-Star Game that counted (but only because every team is legally required to play 66 games that "count").
It was like Charlotte was playing a game of 'whatever you can do, I can do bawfuler'. New Orleans shoots 33.8% from the field? Never fear, here comes the Bobcraps bench, shooting 3-for-23 and dragging down the shooting percentage to 30%. New Orleans goes 1-for-11 from distance? Charlotte doubled down on the suck and shot 1-for-16. Seriously, were these guys playing by some bizarre Aztec Ball Court rules where they had to try to put the ball through the hoop without using their hands?

Charlotte also bricked ten free throws. Neither team scored more than 35 points in the first half and they combined for 20 points in the third quarter.

The Phoenix Suns scored only 17 fewer points in their game against Portland last night than these teams scored put together.

Gerald Henderson, unclear on what 'good' means: "The Hornets are a good team, but we look at them as similar to us."

Gerald, if you're describing a team as 'good', they are not, in any way, similar to you.
If you want a full detail on the bawful in this game, just look at the AP Recap. It's like they're stealing my material (or maybe the other way around).

New Jersey Nyets: Leading by nine points going into the final quarter, the Nyets decided to become charter members of the Lebron James 4th Quarter Hero Fan Club, allowing The Bron to score the final 17 Heat points in a three point loss.

Nyets "fans": With James leading the comeback, Nyets fans decided to stick it to their team, chanting "MVP! MVP!" as well as "Let's Go Heat!".
They do know that James isn't a free agent any more, don't they?

Jordan Crawford attempts the rare 'bicycle kick' layup.

Chicago Bulls: Rose or no Rose, Deng or no Deng, losing to the Generals at home is not something that playoffs teams do. And I don't mean that figuratively. Here's a list of teams that the Generals have beaten on the road this season:
Charlotte
Detroit
Portland
New Orleans
New Jersey
Charlotte (again)
Chicago

One of these teams is not like the others. Five of these teams are kind of the same. Can you guess which one is not like the others? Now it's time to play our game (it's time to play our game).
1000 internet points for anyone who can name the reference.

Chicago coughed up the ball 17 times for 27 points the other way. Washington had 10 TIMES as many fast break points (20-2) and crushed the Bulls in the paint 48-22.

Thug life. I has it.

Tyrone Corbin, benevolent coach: There's giving your stars a lot of minutes, there's treating your stars like Kurt Russell treated the US Hockey team in Miracle (again. blow the whistle. again. again.) and then there's Tyrone Corbin, playing his starters a combined 259 minutes in a triple overtime game. If my math is correct, that left 56 minutes for the rest of the team and the starters AVERAGED 52 minutes. Of course, it's not like the Jazz have been playing a lot of games lately. They're only at the end of a "six games in nine nights with every game in a different city" stretch. Egyptian Pharoahs sent Corbin a text this morning saying that Corbin might have been working his players a bit too hard.

Thanks, NBA Lockout! You're the best!

Uh...Dirk? Shooter's the other way.

Portland Fail Blazers: Hey guys, I know you're just playing out the string and all, but 60%?!?!? If you take out the upright corpse of Michael Redd, the Suns shot 50-for-78 against you tonight? That's like 121% for the game. And it's not like Nash was torching you. He was only 3-for-6. No, you were getting punked by Bassy Telfair and Markieff Morris. Not to mention the Suns starting frontcourt, which shot 24-for-34.

There were only a total of 30 rebounds grabbed at your end of the court, Portland. Funny, I would have thought giving Thabeet double digit minutes would have helped that situation. Who knew?

Dude, playing the Warriors is almost like getting a DNP-Old, amirite?

Golden State: Due to the "effort" the Warriors gave (trailing by 15 after one quarter and 21 by halftime), Coach Pop got to use his middle school rotation (everyone plays the same amount of time). All 12 Spurs played, from Timmah (11 minutes) to Gary Neal (25 minutes). Even Patty Mills saw 17 minutes of court time. That's like a month's worth.

The Warriors must have been excited to see some of these guys, because they were slapping everyone's back, hands, faces, whatever they could find. The home team racked up 31 personal fouls and sent the visitors to the line 43 times. I didn't realize that it was "opposite home cookin' day" in Oakland yesterday.

If starting four rookies against San Antonio isn't a sure sign that you're tanking, I don't know what is.

I know some players tune their coaches out, but this is ridiculous.

Seriously, he's making this face in 90% of the pictures that he's in.

Chris' THE CLIPPERS ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS Monday lacktion report:

Hornets-Bobcats: Charlotte's Matt Carroll bricked thricely (twice from the Duke Energy Center) and also fouled and lost the rock once for a +5 in 13:29!!!

Mavs-Jazz: In triple overtime, Brendan Haywood botched two boards in
20:47 as starting big man with three bricks, three fouls and a turnover for a 4;2 Voskuhl. Brandan Wright bid adieu to a board in 6:12 with a foul and turnover for a 2:1 Voskuhl. And Brian Cardinal fouled once by contacting a Koopa Troopa in just 19 seconds for a Mario and +1.