I tried oh-so-hard. I gave Emacs hours of my time, fumbling around a clumsy interface that makes me use the Control and Alt (what is this Meta shit anyway) keys more than the spacebar. I even own O'Reilly's "Learning GNU Emacs." If ESR can't make me a convert, no one can, I figured.

I had fantasies of being the very definition of a power user. I'd know every key combination, every obscure command would be at my fingertips even if I'd never use it. I would subconsciously calculate the minimum number of keystrokes to do exactly what I wanted. I'd be an Emacs LISP uberhacker.

What does one do at the exact moment when you realize that despite your best efforts, you're a VIM guy?

You want me to let EMACS in my heart? Ye Gods, I don't have that kind of space in there! What do I look like? A UPS Depot? Besides, it'll probably drink all my 'Dew and put it's muddy feet on the sofa, anyway.