Challenge #01607-D146: Hermit Permit Pending

"To be honest, I hadn’t planned on the whole Dark Lord thing. It just sort of happened." -- RecklessPrudence

It's not easy being a hermit. Especially not when random adventurers get lost and mistake your cave for a dragons' lair or the entrance to the goblin caverns or something of the ilk. I had to learn a few spells just to protect what little I have from their greedy hands. It takes days to make a decent bowl. And the rogues kept stealing my cauldrons! Do you have any idea how hard it is for a hermit to get a halfway decent cauldron? It's harder than you think.

So, yes. I admit to slaying a few under-prepared adventurers just to get the coin for what folks like them stole in the first place. And a sign for the entrance to my cave so that, I hoped, the adventurers would no longer barge into my home and disturb my meditations.

What I got instead was a bunch of adventurers thinking I was some kind of super mystic who could either heal them or grant some form of divine booster to their extant skills, and thereby defeat whatever it was they were fighting this week. And when I could only offer them soup? They trounced me and stole everything. Again. So I started brewing up some poisons to lace the soup with, and antidotes for myself and anyone who actually turned out to be bona-fide good. It saved a great deal of time, to be honest.