Saturday, November 9, 2013

So I’ve taken a loooonnnggg hiatus from posting on my blog.
Not sure why. But, an article from a certain C. Haywood brought me back (See it here).
I thought that honorable and revolutionary fight that Mildred Jeter and Richard
Loving fought was over (See their story here).
I thought that we could all live and bask in the love and companionship that we
found in another person without the dirty looks; without being told we’re “sell
outs;” and without feeling like we were committing a crime.

However, people like Tommy SotoMayor & Cory Haywood,
just can’t let it be. And, I can’t help but notice that a lot of the hate
against interracial love is coming from
black men toward black women. Because…
you know, only black women date outside of their race, and we are the keepers
of all things humane and sacred for “our” “race.” -_- Now, before you get mad
and stop reading, this isn’t a post bashing black men or purporting that all
black men bash interracial relationships. It’s a post to open up a discussion
as to why so many people feel the need to bash relationships between people of
different ethnic backgrounds. I want to hear from those with a differing
opinion on why they think it’s not okay for me to
want George Clooney to be my everything (lol okay, I jest but seriously, how
hot is he).

Though I’m currently in a happy relationship with a black
man, I recognize the beauty of, and even celebrate, interracial relationships.
Heck, I wouldn’t be on this earth if they weren’t allowed. I find beauty in
love and companionship period, but I’m no fool. It takes a certain kind of
person to be willing to step outside of the socially (and maybe even traditionally)
constructed parameters of what love should be, and not see color when it comes
to love. I have generally found that most people open to having interracial
relationships tend to be open-minded in many other facets of life. I personally
find males of ALL colors to be incredibly attractive- I love fitness-focused White
guys; I love Spanish men with accents; I love muscular Asian men; I love Black
men who wear dress coats: and those are just a FEW of my attraction triggers (yes yes let the slut shaming begin
haha).

Onto less mush. I found Cory Haywood’s article not only
grossly offensive to black women, but also to white men. To imply that ALL
white men only date outside of their race, particularly when they date a black
woman, to make their racist parents mad; to prove to society they’re not that kind of white guy; or to fulfill
some weird fetish with those rarely seen exotic creatures (aka black women)
that they’ve heard of in books. How presumptuous does one get? I don’t even
know where to start. Should start with him denigrating the intelligence of any
white male who engages in a relationship by basically asserting that said white
male doesn’t know what his own real motives are? Should I start with him implying
that many of these white males have seething racists for parents who would drop dead if their children brought home a person of a different “race?” Or, should I
start with how he just sweepingly paints any white male attracted to a black
woman as evil, dishonest and vengeful?

In lieu of the aforementioned, you might wonder what was
left to be offended at in Haywood’s article. Well, it could be that as a black
woman, Haywood conveyed that I was “unwanted by ANY race of self-respecting
adult male” because of my “rancid demeanor.” And, should any man want to be
with me, I’m “nothing more than a social experiment” and said man is trying to prove
that he’s “set apart from the other trailer-trash “rednecks” who feed into
stereotypes drummed up by the media.” 0_o Well gee, here I thought as an
intelligent, fitness-loving, multi-degree holding, bilingual speaking, global
traveling woman that I was doing alright for myself? Not tooting my own horn, my point is that sweeping generalizations can be hurtful and inaccurate. Certainly,
distasteful, disgusting, “Rancid-demeanor” having black women exist (those
types exist in ALL “races” of women, by the way), but all are not that way. One
of my closest friends is a black woman who finished her degree in Paris and went on to be
featured in a nationally-syndicated finance magazine because of how well she managed her student loans and became debt-free. Another is a nationally known fitness
model. The first is in a happy interracial relationship… I guess he’s just
using his white knight magical powers to transform her into something suitable
to parade around society, as Mr. Sotomayor and Mr. Haywood have suggested?(Lol hope you could feel the sarcasm through
your screens).

I refuse to post any links to Mr. Sotomayor’s YouTube
channel because it provides an even greater platform for him to spread his foul language and vitriol.

In brief conclusion, because I could go on forever, I think
ALL men and women of ANY “Race” or ethnicity should be free to date and love
whomever they choose. I don’t consider black men traitors for dating white
women (or any non-black woman). I consider them free. I don’t consider black
women to be the scum of the earth for dating white men. I consider them free.
In the words of a friend I met in Korea (Hi N. N!)- No one owns anyone. I don’t
owe you my love simply because you’re black, and you don’t owe me a thing based
on those terms either. Love who you want. Live freely. Laugh a lot. Pray. Treat
others how you’d like to be treated or better. Repeat.

For beautiful pictures of interracial families and a nice rebuttal to Haywood's article,check this out:
http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/black-women-need-men-like-cory-alexander-haywood-like-fish-needs-bicycle/One thing I'd like to mention: I don’t agree with is
attacking Haywood or even that horrid Sotomayor based on their looks. Neither
of them are my cup of tea (actually Cory does have a great body lol), but
attacking their looks undermines the point. Attack ideas, not people (even valid
character attacks are better than attacking physical attributes).