Saying “just sayin'” doesn’t erase the insult

So, has it happened to you yet? A friend decides to offer a little helpful advice to you or take a shot at someone you both know. Then, instead of owning up to the insult inflicted or the rudeness shown, he adds the words “just sayin’,” along with a little shrug meant to signal that whatever was said was no big deal, right?

“Hey, did you use a leaf blower to dry your hair today? Just sayin’ …”

“Hey, did you see that new dress Sally bought? Hefty-bag chic, right? Just sayin’ …”

Watch Henry Cho’s video above, and you’ll see that we learned this little trick from the South. Henry, who is married to a Southerner, points out that you can say the meanest thing about someone in the South as long as you add “bless (his/her/its) heart” at the end of the sentence. “Isn’t that the ugliest baby you ever saw … bless its heart.” To do it right, you have to deliver the line with a syrupy sweet smile from beginning to end.

You can’t drop these little neutron bombs and then pretend you meant no harm simply by mouthing the words, “Just sayin’ …” Next time you’re tempted to do so, stop and think whether what you’re about to say needs to be said at all. If it does, deliver your message honestly and sincerely, as a friend would. And I’m not just sayin’ …