Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Now, I'm as big a Gossip Girl fan as the next fag, but I'm not sure how I feel about this. And by this I mean: a.) the photo, itself, b.) the weird photoshopping, c.) that surly expression, d.) that awkward pose and e.) the choice of Blake Lively over the wonderfully cheekboned Leighton Meester. W has long been one of my favorite fashion pubs, a welcome portfolio-sized alternative to American Vogue's continued pandering to the Us Weekly, but it seems like W is following in its older sister's stilettoed path. First, Kate Hudson "graces" the September cover, eschewing a wonderful spread featuring the chameleonic Tilda Swinton, now this. I'm going to have to start shelving out some serious coin for V or Italian Vogue. Well, at least Vogue Jr. still has some great photo spreads, even if one of them is by Brad Pitt.

who dat

All the (armed and akimbo) Single Ladies...

DollyFrom the wreckage of Lady Parton's forgotten hairsprayed wigs rose the petit and honey blond Dolly, anatomically male but emotionally an enlightened gay fashionista. A product of overzealous heteronormative familial units, Dolly flighted from rural America in a denim DKNY jacket (currently on view at the Met), moved to the West Village, and now canters daily to the AnA loft in ornate heels and Balmain. In between snacks of tap water and the occasional stick of gum, this yoga devotee (because Christy said so) ponders fashion history, personal styles of the rich and fabulous, trends in fashion editorials, and of course whatever shiny things catch her eye.

Ms.RossWhilst sabotaging the careers of any pretenders to her throne of super-cunty divadom, Ms. Ross managed to pick up an American Vogue (this was ages before it's disappointing homogenization, natch) and was inspired by the colorful and intoxicating images therein. Before you can say "I'm Coming Out," Ms. Ross secured an internship in the hallowed, cashmere walls of the mag and her career in fashion began in earnest. Now a self-styled fashionista, Ms. Ross can be found stomping down the runways of Paris and Milan, throwing tantrums for the hell of it and vomiting up lunch in the trendiest of restaurant bathrooms.Ms.StreisandA young Jewish ingenue from deep, deep, deep Brooklyn, Ms. Streisand boarded a blue tugboat clad only in an orange dress, fur hat with matching muff and booked it straight for Manhattan, where she lived the first six months fresh and free at Isaac Mizrahi's Garment District studio. Finding work as a fit, showroom, and presentation model beneath her, this lady of naught but seventeen years traded in her four-inch stilettos for the bright lights of Broadway and the broad shoulders of at least three wealthy financiers, all of whom have disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Despite protests from fans, Ms. Streisand is currently pondering moving to New Jersey to participate in the Real Housewives series.

AKIMBO MAIL!

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