I’m pretty sure I heard this story from my most favourite monk, Ajahn Brahm at some point in life but I can’t really give you a reference in form of a link or his book or talk .. but I want to write something that draws on from what he had said ..

He said (as far as I remember) that once someone called someone a dog.. The person got very angry and felt really insulted and wanted to take revenge .. that how can this random person call me a dog ..

The very next minute, a strange realisation set in and he sat down to look at himself .. He didn’t have a tail, neither did he bark, didn’t even have 4 legs .. He wasn’t a dog, he was a human. So he started laughing and realised that it is not his problem or that he doesn’t have to think on how someone has called him a dog because he is not one.. It’s the other persons problem who just called him a dog .. the more he got into the depths of this realisation, the more he couldn’t stop laughing at being called a dog and in turn all that revenge and anger disappeared .. He just walked away from the whole situation saying .. May he be blessed with clarity of thoughts ..

Diving into this story, we are called so many things by so many people at so many instances and now if we start thinking about each one of them or even one of them as to he said be this to me and she said this about me.. it doesn’t really work .. One of the finest work that a human has is to talk and to express what he feels without the liability to hold that exact same expression and feeling forever ..

People grow. People change. So do their likes, dislikes, thoughts and feelings .. hence, for every thought of someone else towards you, you can’t be tying yourself down to either prove or disprove it .. Like everything else, you got to let it pass and work on your own self in whatever capacity and time that you are blessed with ..

Hence, next time on, when someone says something that’s insulting or abusive, rather than reacting with how dare he/she?! Pause, laugh and work on your inner light and make it shine bright ❤️

The statement – ‘we shall get back to you once we have reviewed’ used to freak me out at one point but I realised through my life in academia that reviews play a critical role in shaping the contents, sharpening the perspectives and in my case, correcting grammar and language.

I call it an ‘institutional impact’ where no reviews put me in dilemma. Whether it’s an amazon purchase or an app purchase or a Facebook page; reviews and ratings make me comfortable. I do understand that biases play a crucial role in these, however, the comfort of it, is something that I can’t deny.

Reviewing purchases are far different from reviewing a journal article because the scales and parameters of liking a product are entirely human than checking for scientific contribution or checking for an impact that a particular drug could potentially have on the masses. However, it can’t be denied that products or purchases or brand reviews drive customers in and out. These reviews are predominantly for the masses by the masses. Thus, like fire, bad words and bad reviews spread far and wide in a shorter span of time than one can ever imagine. Even when the fire is put out, the smoke lingers.

Words just like thoughts, once put out, keep ringing from time to time. Once these words are used to construct statements, regardless of them holding truth or lies, things go beyond mass comprehension. It’s these words that one then identifies the brand with, the products with and more often than not, the individual behind it.

I love the concept of adopting a thick skin and putting blinkers on, to just focus on what you want but when your work faces the masses directly, it should be a mutual responsibility. A responsibility of protecting each other’s dignity and that of nurturing each other, given the finite time and possibilities.

Naming, shaming, provoking and blaming rarely offer any solution. On the contrary, gratitude serves all, in different portions. Our time in this world is finite and with defined destinies to meet; words and thoughts could serve all of us better if we keep it clean.

Remember that muddy water that we used to play in as kids? We never slept in those muddy clothes for the fear of disease. If cleanliness in clothes and body is what we, as humans, seek then why should our thoughts and words be any different than these?

Hence, by all means, do review .. Review your purchases, films that you watch, things that you see, places that you visit .. review everything, share your opinions, provide judgements but do pause to clean.

I have travelled and met people.. From slums to brothels to psychiatric wards of some hospitals .. to lavish rooftop parties in Hollywood to film sets, on few occasions ..to house parties to gym to my local train stations .. to meeting people through friends and family on random walks to online introductions .. The people that I have met or that I continue to meet all have the same story to share and to tell ..

Their constant battle through life embedded in hope.

Some struggle to get the ingredients to make a decent meal, and some struggle to digest a meal because of their health.. Some sell their bodies to strangers for peanuts and some carry those peanuts home so that their family can live .. Some think of killing others and some think of killing their own .. Some strive to live by the book and some think of flushing the pages down some gutter hole. Some talk of judgements that the world throws at them and some talk of love that they lack .. Some point a finger at the world and some don’t even raise their hand.

I have stopped saying that every battle is unique; now that I have seen diverse backgrounds.. They all emerge from the constant lack of love and acceptance that make a human grow and at times, frown.

There is always a finite supply of human medals that are given to humans for their work.. There is also a finite supply of energy in humans that they can put to life to work. Achievements and materials, then, can’t define your character and neither can they declare you a success or a failure .. The life, that you are blessed with, is far far greater.

Beautiful things take time to grow .. the stronger the roots, the better they hold .. If that be true for the strongest trees then why isn’t it true for us, human beings?

If I could tell all of you, who come back to me for positivity, that life is unfair and it shall always be .. The rule of thumb is then to simply transform yourself into a channel of possibilities.

Remember, battles can go on forever, decisions might take time to show .. But if you can accept and love yourself first, before anyone else, you stand a brilliant chance to shine and to glow.

So then, before reminding yourself of what vision and version this world holds of you; pause and remind yourself of what you really mean to you.

Off late, a lot of people are telling me on how the world and it’s people make individuals question their choices, opinions, looks and basically existence in every possible way.

Things like, oh, you still don’t have a job? What are you going to do? Or are you sure about leaving him? What will you do without him? Your life is anyway very hard or Are you sure you want to be with her? I think you can do better or Have you really decided not to have children? You will regret this later in life or Are you sure you want to wear this to the party? I think you should change .. and it further goes into an endless loop of what the world thinks.

Not that I haven’t been on the receiving end of such statements myself but over the years, I have learned that life, is meant to be lived not to be compared or to be awarded but to be lived. Things flow just as emotions and over a period of time, pain, focus and priorities change axis. This happens to everyone.

The trick to survive through any transitional phase without being questioned by the society is one of the worst things to expect.. Hence, huge blinkers will surely help to pass through the transitions without much emotions. At the end of the phase, once settlement starts kicking in, people mostly retire or give up pointing their fingers at you or stop poking you because you would have passed their judgement barriers.

With open questions like ‘have you really thought this through’ or like ‘do you know how hard it is going to get’ .. the best answer often is to be honest and admit that you don’t know but that you shall see whatever comes your way just as them. By involving them in that uncertainty, maybe you can get hold of some tricks or earn some self peace.

But the problem is when you start asking their questions to your own self .. That’s when you let everyone win the battle against you and are ultimately left on your own in the battleground. This part, right before you adopt their questions, pause and breathe deeply .. If you still want to ask their questions to your own self, your answer should be .. I am strong enough to fight my battles; my strength and my courage are the my two most important keys.

A lot of issues float around because someone doesn’t understand you and it often leaves this feeling of strange pain and fear. Completely resulting out of sheer lack of not being understood. I guess the primary question that is to be asked is why would anyone invest in understanding you? The almost immediate answer is that in fact, no one should ever invest in understanding you except you, yourself. The main job and the only job in life bestowed upon each soul is to understand their own selves. The stronger the bond of the self, the radiant the self will be and thus the lesser the need to be understood by another body other than you. We are all taught to care, to share and to do good but I guess the primary receivers of this exact share, care and goodness are we first before anyone else. Imagine not being in love with your own self, what will you teach the world about love and more importantly, how will you show that love honestly to anyone? Hence, the basic act and practice starts with the first face that you see in the mirror when you stand in front of it each day. It’s you. And therefore, invest in you for that’s the best investment that you would ever do in a life.