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Friday, July 6, 2012

Two weeks. That's all we had.
How do you squeeze in years of missed hugs, giggles and long talks into just two weeks?
I found myself breathing in a little deeper, as if that would cement the smells right into my nose.

Many times my eyes would close, letting the sweet tinkling of the chimes find there way directly to my heart.

Desperately, I tried to impress the sweet faces I saw in the dearest parts of my memory.

How thankful I am for the time we had!

How grateful for the memories made.

But as we pulled out of the driveway I could not stop the downpour of tears.
I felt as if I had swallowed a handful of pills and they lodged themselves into my throat.

And I thought,
How do you say goodbye
When you are wondering, "Will I ever see you again?"

How do you let go,

Knowing this may be your last hug?

How do you answer
"When will we see you again?"
Not knowing when, or if, we will be back?

I have never fully understood the verse,

"If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother... yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple."

Luke 14:26

I could not do that! How could I say that I hate my own father and mother?!
But when I looked at it through the world's eyes I thought,
How hateful was it to tell you that we were expecting your first grandbaby, but it would be years before you would meet her?
And how hateful is it to separate you from holding and loving your grandbabies!

And though my heart aches for the pain you must feel at the separation,
I cannot turn back,
Nor do I live with regrets.
It is not about my comfort or pleasure.
It is about Him and His eternal purposes.
Is HE not worthy of my all,
even if I am separated from all I know and love,
and even if I never see the fruit from seeds we have given our lives to sow?
Yea, and much more.
I cannot turn back.
I have set my hand to the plow.
I have counted the cost.
HE is sufficient.

"For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him, Saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish. So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple."

Yes, I am WAY behind in posting. I was going to skip this post, but thought you might enjoy seeing the finished work. I still had some things I wanted to do, but just ran out of time. It was already a crazy period of trying to cram in packing, a mission's conference, ladies' meeting...but it was SO fun! I looked for curtains around and online but couldn't find any that I liked. When I saw this fabric for $3 a yard, I grabbed it...then made it up as I went. I loved just walking in and looking at it. I couldn't believe that I made them! I am by no means a seamstress so don't look too closely.