4 definitions
by
Captain American't

a) Something that is NOT ironic, but rather, just really bad luck, or just a really shitty/unfortunate situation or occurrence in general.

b) A semiotic phenomenon stemming from Canadian singer Alanis Morissette's 1996 hit pop song "Ironic" that caused an entire generation (and all generations after) to misuse and not understand the true meaning of the word ironic, resulting in a now culturally acceptable misappropriation of the word ironic.

c) A bastardized definition of the word ironic that is blatantly wrong, yet is widely used and is somehow still accepted in contemporary culture.

'90's kid: "Aw man! its raining and i wanted to go to the beach today!"
'80's kid: "Um, that's not ironic, that's Alanis Ironic."
'90's kid: "What?"
'80's kid: "Dude, that's just bad luck, it's NOT ironic."
'90's kid: "But Alanis said..."
'80's kid: "Yeah, I know what she said- I've heard the song too. I hate to break it to you, but none of the situations in the song "Ironic" are actually ironic at all. For example, it's not "ironic" to have rain on your wedding day, that's just really fucking shitty luck. It would be ironic if you were an esteemed meteorologist, famous for your accuracy, and you had been planning your wedding for years based on your weather predictions for the most perfect, clear, sunny day, and then, totally contrary to your predictions, a huge storm occurs on the day of your wedding. That would be truly ironic."
'90's kid: "I have no fucking clue what you just said."

A woman/girl that you either find EXTREMELY hot or EXTREMELY ugly due to her unconventional beauty (by American standards) and alien-like characteristics, like that of Uma Thurman. An Uma is also most likely to be a butterface.

Bro #1: "Yo man- dibs on the redhead with glasses!"

Bro #2: "Are you fucking kidding me? That bitch is a total Uma! She's all yours bro."