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Ashley

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

10 Nontraditional Pregnancy Tips

You might be one of those people that lives by every word in those pregnancy guides. If that's the case, this blog post might offer you zero benefit. I'm not a pregnancy expert. And I have to admit I haven't read a single one of those books cover to cover. The textbook format and lack of humor doesn't keep my attention long...

Instead, I found comfort in books like "Belly Laughs" and "Sippy Cups Aren't for Chardonnay" - and obviously, my personal experience has inspired me to write a book of my own.

And the movie "What to Expect When You're Expecting" is hilarious - pregnant or not, you must watch it!

For the time being, I thought it'd be worth while to share 10 of my nontraditional pregnancy tips I've gathered thus far.

1. Pour yourself a mixed drink. No, I don't mean go out and get hammered with your friends.

And I am not even condoning that you take a shot of vodka after a long day at work or school. But, there is something relaxing about having a refreshing drink out of a wine or martini glass.

My current favorite is pineapple juice, grapefruit juice, and tonic water. I'm sure it's all mental, but having a drink like that after work really lightens my mood.2. Have a stranger danger plan. If you thought everyone judged you as a teenager, just wait until your pregnant. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone did something better or different. And hey- that's okay!

But what is NOT okay is when complete strangers judge you.

And trust me - they will! The other day I was at McDonald's - I ordered my food and then stepped aside to get my drink. The Diet Coke was starring me down!

Now, I gave up Diet Coke pre-pregnancy, but sometimes I have the occasional sip from Justin. Anyway, I wanted a little sip so I put my cup under the button and filled my cup up less than half way.

I look across the restaurant and this lady is giving me the most disgusted, judgmental stare ever!

Something like this:

I was beyond annoyed. She watched me as I took a sip of my drink and smiled back at her. Then shook her head in disbelief. I told my coworker at the situation and he told me I just needed a plan. Here is what he proposed:

Get a little bottle of vodka, dump it out, and fill it back up with water.

The next time that happens, pull the water vodka out of from my purse and make eye contact with the judgmental stranger.

While maintaining eye contact the entire time, twist off the cap and dump the "vodka" into your beverage.

Slowly lift the beverage up to your mouth - still never breaking eye contact- and take a strong swig.

Then, with your eyes still burning holes through their soul, take your arm and wipe it across your mouth slowly.

THEN they will have a reason to judge you.

3. Suck up your pride and buy some maternity clothes. Listen, maternity fashion has come a LONG way! I've found some super adorable and affordable maternity clothes.

I've chatted with some woman who waited forever to take the maternity clothes plunge. They were too "proud" and burnt out the rubber band method. But trust me when I say being comfortable while pregnancy is critical to your emotional and physical survival.

Maybe you can't afford new clothes - I totally get it! Borrow something from your friends or hit up the thrift shops.

See - maternity clothes are SUPER cute and show off your adorable baby bump!

4. Suck up some MORE pride and buy granny panties. Seriously - best decision I ever made. Get comfortable underwear stat! This is how I felt when I stopped wearing underwear that rolled down and bunched up every single day 300 times:

Ooh-ooohhhhh!

5. Find your zen. Make sure you find time for yourself and do something - anything - that helps you reduce stress and RELAX! A few things that work for me: writing, working out, meditating, eating frozen yogurt, and watching teenage dramas such as Pretty Little Liars and Gossip Girl.

6. Make your chubby feet look cute. "There is no way I am getting chubby feet!" I once declared to Justin. Well friends- it happened. My feet, like the rest of my body, have gotten bigger.

Making chubby feet look good!!

Instead of hiding your feet, pamper yourself and get a pedicure! Can't afford a pedicure? Do one yourself! If nothing else, your significant other should give you a foot rub or 29.7. Don’t do your baby registry unless you and your significant other are having the happiest day of your entire life.

Seriously, learn from us- doing your registry is extremely overwhelming and slightly scary. We got to the first wall at BuyBuy Baby and noticed there are 45 different types of bottles and nipples.

"We have no clue what we are doing."

"How do you know which one is better?"

"What the heck is the difference?"

"What does that certification mean?"

"Wait, where would you put that thing?"

"Okay, but really- what if the ultrasound tech was wrong and we really have a girl?"

And this will be your response to all of those questions:

Yeah, that pretty much sums up our experience. I guess what I am saying is...if you're having a bad day, just stay at home.

You will immediately be overwhelmed.

And you will definitely have differences on which crib is better or what stroller you should get...

So- do your research, ask your friends what worked (and didn't) work for them, and be open minded.

8. Put your hands on your belly when you laugh. It’s adorable and makes other people smile.

9. Stop calling yourself fat. You are growing a baby! A small, tiny human that will potentially look and act like you or your significant other. That might be scarier than the baby registry experience...But remember, pregnancy a beautiful blessing and amazing journey - so enjoy every minute and toss out the scale if it helps ease your mind.

10. Stay away from Google and WebMD. I'm not saying you should be unprepared or uneducated, but there is no sense scaring yourself by reading about all of the awful and crazy things that could happen to you and (or) your baby!

Always listen to your body.

Pay attention to any unusual changes or discomforts.

And ask your doctor every question that comes across your mind. In fact, write down your questions before your doctor appointment because you're likely to forget what you wanted to ask him or her (pregnancy brain is a legit side effect).

7 comments:

Really awesome post. I think you mention all the things in your post. When i was 24 weeks pregnant i look very fatty and increase my weight a lot i was not happy that time i read your article and i think i was totally wrong those days was the happiest day in my life. Thanks dear

Amy i agree with you i also never cared my foot during my pregnancy time but now i think it is very important that a pregnant lady should care and dressed up very well so that she can look good.Surrogacy in uttar pradesh

I wish that my wife and I had found these tips about 40 years ago. We are well done with having children now. I think that it really helps to buy some maternity clothes and try to look cute in them. A woman deserves to feel beautiful, even when she is pregnant. http://www.ogeecheeobgyn.com

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