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I keep my daughter from my SO's family

1. Our daughter is to NEVER be alone with his family (as of right now without ME present because he is still learning how to stick up for himself)

2. Until the problems are addressed our daughter and I will not be attending any holidays or picnics ect (I only say this because they invited us to camping for Memorial Day) , as for Holidays we travel as a family, last year he went to his moms for xmas alone.

3. I will say WHATEVER is on my mind if they are over or around.

He agrees with me.

(p.s. this is the first time I've ever put it in list form, but this is basically it)

WHY you ask?

They have manipulated him his whole life for personal gain, NEVER treated him as an individual, used him, control, didnt pay much attention or take his life seriously, ( did provide a fair ammount of structure though, did good in school, saved money, did chores ect). Openly disrespect me, our parenting decisions, manipulated him into (guilted) lying to me to cover their asses, speak very rudely to me, have left my daughter in a dirty diaper to try and make ME look bad while she had my daughter ( I was upstairs )

I will ignore any rediculous views on this post but I welcome honesty--- Am I choosing realistic boundaries?

sounds like MIL except she takes are of the kids but she HATES me and continues to try to convince DF to leave and take the kids, and she talks bad about me to anyone who will lisen. And of course DF doesn't have the balls to stand up to her.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:27 AM

Im sorry for you, but where I come from you raise your own child. (obviously with help at times). what im doing now is teaching him / were going to counseling. baby steps. they do the same thing. sorry 1 hand typing, BF

Quoting Anonymous:

sounds like MIL except she takes are of the kids but she HATES me and continues to try to convince DF to leave and take the kids, and she talks bad about me to anyone who will lisen. And of course DF doesn't have the balls to stand up to her.

Sounds reasonable to me. You do what you feel is necessary to protect you and your child. Good luck!

by Anonymous 3
on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:30 AM

i have huge MIL issues.

She is an evil lady. I don't go around her and neither do my kids (they are not her grandkids so she doesn't care for them anyways - her words).

BUT.. that is still my DH's Mother and family. I encourage him to call her. I encourage him to see them on holidays - the only thing I have asked of him is to say really nice things about me and the kids - even if he has to embellish :)

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:34 AM

that is very evil! I do encourage a healthy relationship between them, and us, he doesnt think they will ever respect us tho...also I did the same thing --"stop complaining to your mother, she has no good advice for what you want in life which is our family!"

They go out of his way to hurt us, piss us off or be mean...I understand psychology well and that they have issues-- Does your MIL go out of her way?

i have huge MIL issues.

She is an evil lady. I don't go around her and neither do my kids (they are not her grandkids so she doesn't care for them anyways - her words).

BUT.. that is still my DH's Mother and family. I encourage him to call her. I encourage him to see them on holidays - the only thing I have asked of him is to say really nice things about me and the kids - even if he has to embellish :)

by Anonymous 4
on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:41 AM

I can completely relate! My husband doesn't have much family. Just a shitty mom and bro. I haven't spoken to them for 2 years. Your husband is lucky he got some good values from his fam. My MIL did drugs while pregnant and has admitted to him that she didnt want him!! let him live with his aunt and uncle for about 5 years, (which is a long time for a kid!) all to take him back and give him to a foster home! He tried to reconnect with her after we had our first child, but found out she is doing drugs. We cut her off all together. Sorry for the ramble lol, but I know it's like to have a one sided family. Sometimes I feel guilty about being relieved that we don't gave to deal with her.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:45 AM

awe that is sad :/ Im glad he has you! (you seem normal, caring ect) I understand the guilt, I feel it too & i think thats why im posting & needing confidence about keeping our baby away! they buy her stuff all the time (none of which we NEED and I get pissed because I wont let them buy their way into our family!

I am thankful too though...this is my struggle

Quoting Anonymous:

I can completely relate! My husband doesn't have much family. Just a shitty mom and bro. I haven't spoken to them for 2 years. Your husband is lucky he got some good values from his fam. My MIL did drugs while pregnant and has admitted to him that she didnt want him!! let him live with his aunt and uncle for about 5 years, (which is a long time for a kid!) all to take him back and give him to a foster home! He tried to reconnect with her after we had our first child, but found out she is doing drugs. We cut her off all together. Sorry for the ramble lol, but I know it's like to have a one sided family. Sometimes I feel guilty about being relieved that we don't gave to deal with her.

by Anonymous 4
on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:55 AM

You're doing what's best for your child and we should never feel guilty for that, but its hard bot to. I can understand buying our way into our family thing too. My brother and our kids are super close, but he's a struggling musician and rarely has money so my brother-in-law, who never sees them, buys them ridiculous things like indoor tents (we live in a condo!) and air hockey tables! (They're 4 and 2!) so I know how you feel. It sucks because you want your hubby to be happy and have a good family, but we gotta do the best with what we got. :)

Quoting Anonymous:

awe that is sad :/ Im glad he has you! (you seem normal, caring ect) I understand the guilt, I feel it too & i think thats why im posting & needing confidence about keeping our baby away! they buy her stuff all the time (none of which we NEED and I get pissed because I wont let them buy their way into our family!

I am thankful too though...this is my struggle

Quoting Anonymous:

I can completely relate! My husband doesn't have much family. Just a shitty mom and bro. I haven't spoken to them for 2 years. Your husband is lucky he got some good values from his fam. My MIL did drugs while pregnant and has admitted to him that she didnt want him!! let him live with his aunt and uncle for about 5 years, (which is a long time for a kid!) all to take him back and give him to a foster home! He tried to reconnect with her after we had our first child, but found out she is doing drugs. We cut her off all together. Sorry for the ramble lol, but I know it's like to have a one sided family. Sometimes I feel guilty about being relieved that we don't gave to deal with her.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:59 AM

I am glad you agree...I really thought I would have a lot of bashing LOL..

Thanks for sharing with me...best part is his grandma lives in this community, she got us this condo (showed us the ad, we rent) and his mom just moved to the next street over....YAY NOT

Quoting Anonymous:

You're doing what's best for your child and we should never feel guilty for that, but its hard bot to. I can understand buying our way into our family thing too. My brother and our kids are super close, but he's a struggling musician and rarely has money so my brother-in-law, who never sees them, buys them ridiculous things like indoor tents (we live in a condo!) and air hockey tables! (They're 4 and 2!) so I know how you feel. It sucks because you want your hubby to be happy and have a good family, but we gotta do the best with what we got. :)

Quoting Anonymous:

awe that is sad :/ Im glad he has you! (you seem normal, caring ect) I understand the guilt, I feel it too & i think thats why im posting & needing confidence about keeping our baby away! they buy her stuff all the time (none of which we NEED and I get pissed because I wont let them buy their way into our family!

I am thankful too though...this is my struggle

Quoting Anonymous:

I can completely relate! My husband doesn't have much family. Just a shitty mom and bro. I haven't spoken to them for 2 years. Your husband is lucky he got some good values from his fam. My MIL did drugs while pregnant and has admitted to him that she didnt want him!! let him live with his aunt and uncle for about 5 years, (which is a long time for a kid!) all to take him back and give him to a foster home! He tried to reconnect with her after we had our first child, but found out she is doing drugs. We cut her off all together. Sorry for the ramble lol, but I know it's like to have a one sided family. Sometimes I feel guilty about being relieved that we don't gave to deal with her.

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