Living With Kids: Trina McNeilly

November 26, 2013

By Gabrielle.

There are stunning homes that look like they should sit on a magazine page or ten, and there are homes that look like – whoa – a lot of little children live there! And then there is Trina’s home, which is a splendid mix of beauty and beast! There’s not one space in her home that’s too precious or too perfect for her four children, but there’s also not one space in her home that doesn’t look absolutely precious and utterly perfect, either. I’m happy she’s achieved this magical blend, and I couldn’t wait to show it all to you.

Also! She is one of the lucky ones who get to relive her childhood all over again in her family home. You’ll love that part of her story. (There’s a line or two about one decorating regret that will make you misty, I bet. Tell me if you find it and have to wave off a few tears like I did!)

Friends, please welcome the McNeilly family. This is such a fun tour.

Q: Please tell us all about the la la lovely family who lives here!

A: I live with my husband, Stephen, who I met at age 15 (crazy!), and our four children.

My oldest, and only girl is Ella, age ten. I prayed for a girl and am even more grateful for her today than the day I first laid eyes upon her big baby blues.

Next is Luke, my sports loving eight year old who gives new meaning to the word sweetheart.

The last two, Liam Brave, almost four, and Rocco Royal, age two, are really close in age and are great little playmates. Liam is an old soul who keeps me company with his great conversation skills. And sweet Rocco is the best surprise I’ve ever had. He is so much of a honey that he sometimes tricks me into wanting another one.

I never expected to have four children – especially three boys – but it is better than I could have ever imagined. I call these littles of mine my brood. And as you might suspect, our house is noisy and very active. Someone is always jumping off of a couch, racing down our very long hallway with a dump truck, or singing at the top of their lungs, usually all at the same time.

Q: You live in your childhood home! How cool! Please tell us the story of how it came to be yours (again).

A: I would have never have imagined moving back into the home I grew up in. My parents considered moving but just couldn’t find a new home that they loved as much, so they made a decision to stay and chose to remodel the kitchen. Before the new kitchen was ever completed, a realtor friend took my parents through a home that wasn’t even on the market yet, and almost in an instant they decided to buy it. Our family home sat empty for about a year and the new kitchen was never used.

One day, my dad suggested we consider buying the home. My reply was “No way.” However, my husband was intrigued by the idea. At the time, we were living about 50 minutes away and about to have our second baby, with no intention to move. I loved the home that I grew up in, probably more than most do, but I couldn’t imagine moving back to my hometown and back into my childhood home.

However, the thought of another family moving into our beloved family home made me pretty melancholy. I suppose it was mix of sentiment, my husband’s persuasive powers, and the fact that I was pregnant and exhausted and only had the will to just go with the flow and embrace returning home that landed me back where I started.

Q: Do you have a difficult time making big changes to the home? Are there ever times when the past holds you back?

A: I did have difficulty making changes and was slow at doing so. I was apprehensive about making changes as I was still finding my very own style, and also because when I did make a change some of my family members were a little opinionated! They didn’t say too much, but it was enough to make me question my decisions and even my style. I started out by decorating around the house and after about a year realized I needed to just forget that concept and go with what I love.

I’ve seen almost all of the rooms transform, many times over, so I’m somewhat used to that. But there is one room that I wish would have stayed frozen in time. We used to have a Mexican cantina bar in the basement (thank you, 1976) that my husband cleared out and turned into a workout room. Although we didn’t really use the bar, that change really makes me sad if I think about it too much. It had such a distinct look and carries many vivid memories of playing store, post office, and restaurant. I really would have liked to play restaurant a second time around, this time as the customer.

Q: You definitely decorate with your kids in mind, don’t you? What are your goals for your decor in terms of how it affects them?

A: I do try to keep my children in mind when I decorate. I want our house to be a fun, lived in home. I kind of feel like that is the soul of this particular home. Growing up, our house was a favorite to hang out at and I hope that continues with my children and their friends.

I think the best change that we have made, although temporary, was changing our dining room into a playroom. We have a playroom in the basement, but toddlers don’t really like to go down to a basement unless a grown up or older sibling is with them. It was important to me to have a space that they could play in all by themselves. I’m able to cook dinner or tidy up and keep an eye on them at the same time. It’s been a great change.

Q: Where do you find the best design inspiration?

A: Online, of course. Blogs have been a huge inspiration to me over the years, and have helped me refine my ideas and style. However, my most favorite way to find inspiration is through travel. After traveling to England a few years ago, I came home and painted my door bright blue…which is now yellow. Either way, I’ve adapted to colorful doors as the English do so well.

Q: You’re a blogger who is really going beyond the lines of traditional blogging, planning parties for The Land of Nod, etc. What are your work goals, and how do they merge with a young family?

A: I am still a little surprised by the opportunities that have come through blogging. When I started six years ago, it was really just a creative outlet for me to write and share lovely finds. I am happy to say that is still what I love to do and why I continue to blog. I have a few goals tucked away, but what I am finding works for me is to continue to blog about what inspires me and to work with brands that I truly love.

I am grateful that opportunities have come my way after many years of hard work, but I’ve also learned to reach out and go after opportunities when an idea strikes. This is hard for my personality, but pushing myself has been a really good thing.

Because I have four children, two of whom are toddlers, I’m finally accepting that I can’t do it all. Surprise, surprise! And so I have to choose wisely. I’m learning to define what type of work I enjoy most and to take on those types of projects and not worry about the other things. I’ve heard people say, “I can do anything but I can’t do everything.” So true!

In terms of balance, I think it is kind of a myth. For me, when I try to balance I start thinking I can manage it all and I can’t. However, when you get to a point where you surrender to the thought that you can’t do it all or even juggle it all, than that is a great beginning. It’s where we start to accept ourselves and realize that an imperfect life is really the perfect thing.

When I’m in the middle of a huge project, it’s likely my laundry room is a disaster and my floors are caked in crumbs and the leftovers of life. It still bothers me but I’m starting to soften to the rhythm and the truth that my floors won’t look like this forever and, probably, I’ll have time next week to tidy up!

I’m also learning to ask for help. There is no way I could do any of what I do without the help of my husband (who is very hands on) and mom (she is an angel). And I am a big believer in hiring help, if you can. Sometimes there is just no other way to really be able to concentrate or get things done; nap times are getting shorter and shorter around here!

Q: What traditions and memories do you hope your children will carry with them from their childhood house and how you’ve set up their home?

A: I hope my children will have warm memories of their home being a safe and loving place. A place that was fun, imaginative, and straight out magical. I hope they attach memories and stories to each and every room of this home (as I know I have) and that they go on telling them over and over again to each other and to their children one day.

My greatest hope is that they will come to know that there is no place like home. Not in a way that they never want to leave or always feel they must return…but that their tie to it would be strong because it was the very place where they were equipped with courage and encouragement to go out into this great world and be the very person they were made to be.

I hope they take the tradition of creating a fun home for their families one day. That they will help their children stay children just a little longer than most. Everyone grows up too quickly these days.

Q: If you could give other families style and decor advice, what would it be?

A: My biggest advice would be to decorate with what you love and don’t take your space too seriously.

Use colors that make you happy (for me, that is a lot of white), incorporate items that have meaning either from travel or your own childhood, make your space comfortable, and always, always add a touch of fun. Whatever you do, make your home your favorite place to be.

Sometimes this takes time, but that is okay. I think decorating a home should be something that is done over time and not all at once. Your home should tell the story of your family and the life that you have lived together.

Q: What is your absolute favorite thing about living with your own kids? What surprised you most about becoming a mom?

A: I love the laughter. The sounds of baby giggles have fueled me through many days that have followed sleepless nights. I think the thing that surprised me most about becoming a mom was how naturally some things came. I never really babysat or was a real baby person, so I was a little nervous about it all.

Q: Please finish the sentence: I wish I had known…

A: I wish had known how crazy I would feel at times. Parenting is full of highs and lows. It can bring out your very best and your very worst.

Some days everything goes wrong, and something like spilled milk completely puts me over the edge and I feel like having a meltdown myself. And sometimes I do, so obviously there is usually more going on beyond the spilled milk!

Within five minutes you catch a glimpse of your three-year old comforting your two-year old, and you’re instantly transported out of the hustling and bustling and baby blues. It’s like your soul takes a deep breath, and you wish you could live in that moment of time forever, or at least keep the image before your tired eyes, always.

And just as quickly as you caught that moment, a hug turns to a shove and – poof! – it passes.

Some days I wonder if I will feel more steady and stable. I worry if my ups and downs affect my little ones. They likely do. I’m quick to apologize and admit when I’m wrong. And I’ve learned I have to forgive myself, too.

It’s humbling, this parenting business. All we can do is carry on, love each other, and offer grace to another and accept it ourselves.

–-

Oh, Trina. So, so, la la lovely! Thank you for your honestly and the beauty you share every day.

Friends, did you find the line that flew straight to my heart? “I really would have liked to play restaurant a second time around, this time as the customer.” So bittersweet, isn’t it? Please tell me if you’ve moved back into your family home and had the chance to revisit your childhood all over again. I love to hear your stories!

P.S. — Take a peek at all the homes in my Living With Kids series here. And if you’d like to share your own home with us, just send me a note! It’s a lot of fun…I promise!

This home and family is charming and delightful! I love all the thoughtful touches that genuinely say that a family with children lives there. I especially adored the small doorway into a bedroom and the swing and hanging chair. Your children are SO lucky! This home tour was beautiful and fun! Thanks for sharing your home and wisdom with us, Trina :)

I love this space, and the words that describe it fill my heart. What an exemplary way to live–each room is so unique, I can see that each member of the family is valued, and each space is full of happiness and comfort. Well done.
I love the rug in the white family room–how do you manage to keep the flokati clean amidst lots of little feet? I am debating about one for our LR and am worried about maintenance. I LOVE the white couch–washable covers are a dream!

hi nora – thank you for your sweet words. i’m loving our flokati rug. it’s pretty new so i haven’t had any trouble with it. i try (try being the key word) to have the kids take their shoes off when they come in he house and try to keep snacks out of that room as well. as for cleaning it is all about shaking it out. it does shed quite a bit….but i’m not too bothered by that.

I loved this home and the love you can feel within it. Just this summer, my husband and toddler and I moved into my childhood home. What surprised me the most was how quickly it felt like our own. While still remembering the past, we are making our own memories. And I am bringing my own style and functionality into it. And the best part is that my parents love all the changes. The house has new life again and I am so happy.

Also I love your color choices! cheerful but not overbearing. Among the many lovely details (the dots on the wall! the 3D shapes! the hanging chair!) I’m interested in knowing where you purchased or found the storage baskets on the chalkboard wall.

I am wondering where you found the beautiful wicker swing shown in the girl’s room. I am looking for something similar for my own daughter’s room — she is eighteen years old and severely disabled, but loves to swing –

Beautiful home! My four kids are the same ages as yours, also a girl and three boys. I just turned our dining room into a playroom, too. It just makes sense. And I love all the white. Thanks for sharing!

Love this house. And I normally don’t like tons of white walls, but all the subtle pops of color make it work for me. Love that little hobbit hole cutout too! And that instagram looking photo corner? Are those stickers? How are they so flat on the wall?

I love this woman! Smart, funny, sweet, real, telling it like it is, she’s wonderful. The comment about the old bar where she used to play, I so felt that. The part where she talks about wanting to create beautiful memories for her kids, beautiful, and something I often think about. Thank you so so much for this. Sometimes it’s hard to be a Mom and then I read a post like this and it makes me feel more appreciative. Thank you!

hi nina – thank you for your very sweet words. it is hard to be a mom and i think it is ok to say that. i know i always feel such relief when i hear other moms (who i think have it all together) admit that or share authentically. i love being a mom, more than anything, but it is the hardest thing i’ve ever done. some days are pure magic, some are a mystery and some are just madness. i have a print in my hallway (which isn’t shown in this tour) that says, “in the madness there is love.” i don’t think i’ll ever take that down. carry on momma! xo . t

I really enjoyed reading this! So many things resonated: “I’m learning to define what type of work I enjoy most and to take on those types of projects and not worry about the other things.” A lesson I’ve been learning myself lately.

I love the idea of using a room for what makes sense, not just whatever it’s “official” function is. And getting decorating inspiration from travel. What a great way to always remember a favorite vacation.

hi shannon – isn’t it a great lesson to learn? i’m certainly in the learning stages, but i’m trying to get better at it with each decision that i make. i like to try to do everything but i’m learning that just doesn’t work. ha.

i love having reminders around my home of happy memories, times of growth, inspiration, and beauty from far away places.

I loved this article and the house is fantastic! My husband and I just moved into the house I grew up in this past August. It’s been very sentimental seeing my girls in the bedrooms I once called my own! My parents moved into the farmhouse my dad grew up in and we just had our family thanksgiving there for the first time. It’s been quite a full circle for me, watching my kids sledding at the farmhouse like I did as a kid. We haven’t changed much in the house yet. It’s hard for me because my dad built it himself and everything is so meaningful to him. We’ll ease into over the next few years…I mean, the same blue tub and sink I used to take a bath in is still here!! Thanks for sharing your home!

Oh, I so enjoyed this tour. Her house is so lovely, just like her blog! I love all the whimsical touches- they work so perfectly with the neutral background. Also, I was encouraged by her words about being a mother. So much truth to what she said. Thank you for this tour and this series!

Your home is so very beautiful. So filled with love, fun and beauty. I love how honest you were in answering the last question. “Some days I wonder if I will feel more steady and stable. I worry if my ups and downs affect my little ones. They likely do. I’m quick to apologize and admit when I’m wrong. And I’ve learned I have to forgive myself, too.” That rings so true & I would think all of us, that want SO much to do the best we can with our precious kids, feels that way. I know I do. Thanks for sharing your gorgeous home and family.
xo
Melissa

I love your home so much. I especially love your entryway with the lovely inspirational words. My daughter an avid lover of swings, vowing she would still be swinging into old age, was drooling over your daughter’s in-house swing. I was as well.

I, too, returned to my childhood home. I wrote this about the experience:

“Several years ago, I returned to my parent’s home, my childhood home, with my husband and my two children. My father had recently passed away and my mother had put the house on the market. A decision was quickly made to sell our home, a 1936 Gambrel Colonial, and purchase my mother’s home. She was moving to a lovely in-law apartment with my younger sister and her family. Our three bedroom, one and a half bath Colonial sold quickly, finding ourselves moving into our 1917 Colonial in November and soon celebrating our “first” Christmas with my entire family in my parent’s home — my home.

As much of the home was floor to ceiling paneling, the dining room not spared, we made the decision to paint it all. The decision was made more from an emotional perspective rather than a practical one. We needed to settle in as quickly as possible as our world was keenly out of balance. We were adrift, floundering, and needing the comfort of home. My only hope at the time was to make my well-loved childhood home, my children’s home as well.

Four and a half years later, the dining room’s color remains the same. The accessories and draperies have changed, will change again, I am certain. But I still love the paint over paneling, a subtle reminder of my mother and father and our family dinners. So vivid is the memory of my father’s stereo exploding with the bells and cannonading of the 1812 Overture and my sisters and I giggling, overcome with silliness, as my mother loudly tells him to turn it down.

This memory-keeper, this lodestar, this sanctuary — this home.

*my mom unexpectedly passed away two years after my dad which makes the holiday traditions in this childhood home far more poignant.

Beautiful home! I was looking on Pinterest for different types of bunk beds and a picture of yours popped up! I would love to know where you bought that one? Or did you happen to build it yourself? We might be having a friend stay with us over the summer and would need another bed.

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My name is Gabrielle Blair. I'm a designer and mother of six. After 2 1/2 years in France, we just bought a home in Oakland, California. We call it The Treehouse. I post on where design and motherhood intersect.

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