Health & Safety Announcement

Posted on 3 December 2015

Shaping up to be the best bloody night out in Coventry, Vampomime is now open in B2 and the feedback from survivors has been fangtastic up to now!

For your own safety and security, Nick Walker – Writer/Director of our brand new B2 Xmas show – has thoughtfully issued audiences with the following Health and Safety guidelines…just as an added precaution in case things get a bit bitey!

Before entering the theatre, please ensure that all flesh is fully concealed. For your own safety, boob tubes, tank tops and miniskirts are strictly forbidden* [*excludes weekends in Coventry]

Upon arrival at the theatre, we strongly advise that you familiarise yourself with our in-house restaurant menu where steaks can be purchased for the very reasonable rate of £12.95. For maximum safety, we strongly recommend the garlic butter accompaniment.

In the event of an unexpected outbreak of bloodlust, the houselights will be activated by a member of our Production team. Emergency sunglasses have been made available for your own protection. Please ensure that your sunglasses are securely fitted before helping others.

If apprehended by a vampire during this evening’s performance, we strongly urge you to show them your cross.

In case of an emergency, holy water and a copy of the King James Bible are located underneath your seats. To activate the holy water, sprinkle liberally in the direction of the undead and hold the bible in front of your face. For maximum protection, we recommend that the said water be blessed by a local priest or member of the clergy.

In the highly unlikely event of sustaining injury by vampire attack, ancient folklore recommends that you drink the ashes of a burned vampire as an antidote. Please ask our friendly catering team for more details.

In the case of sustaining puncture wounds to the neck, arms or chest during this evening’s show, emergency plasters can be purchased from a member of our Front of House team for a very reasonable rate. In cases of light maiming, decapitation, or minor to moderate goring, a full refund will be issued upon presentation of a valid doctor’s note. Please note, all refunds are subject to survival. Full Terms and Conditions apply.

Upon leaving the auditorium, we would appreciate if any ‘protective silver’ in the form of loose change be deposited in the collection boxes provided. All monies raised will go towards safeguarding the future of audiences future audiences at the Belgrade.

Fangs for listening and enjoy the show!

Disclaimer: The Belgrade Theatre management cannot be held accountable for any or all of the following: light-headedness, dizziness, feelings of drowsiness and nausea, severed arteries, loss of limbs, goring, decapitation and light maiming.