Colin Furze of Stamford, England, is looking to set another Guinness World Record this weekend for the world’s fastest baby pram. We’ve previously featured other vehicles built by Colin Furze, like his flame-throwing moped (for which he was arrested on a firearms charge), his world’s fastest mobility scooter, and his world’s longest motorcycle. But Guinness World Records are just like DUI arrests in that we’re always ready to rack up another one. *proofreads analogy* Yep, that sounds right.

There’s a video below of Furze operating the pram, which we’re renaming the Shaken Baby Syndromobile™ because it has tiny wheels and apparently no shock absorbers. The 33-year-old plumber started building the pram after learning his girlfriend, Charlotte, was pregnant with their now one-month-old son Jake. He tells Telegraph she won’t let Jake ride in the pram. That’s definitely for the best, as you can watch a plastic doll getting shaken baby syndrome partway into the video below.

NO.

The pram only has to exceed 30 mph at the Avon Park Drag Strip this weekend to break the record (which means there’s already a pram out there that goes 30 mph and I MUST HAVE IT). Colin Furze has already achieved a top speed of 50 mph with this pram, so beating the record shouldn’t be a problem. The pram has a 125cc motorcycle engine with four gears. It took him four weeks and £450 (~$725) to build it, and it even comes with room for storing supplies and a cup holder. We’d put a beer in that cup holder, because the D in DUI stands for delicious. (Never hire us as your legal counsel.)