Quiet

The Power of Introverts in A World That Can't Stop Talking

At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They're the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they're often labeled "quiet," it's to introverts like Gandhi, Einstein and Rosa Parks that we owe many of the great contributions to society. Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled with stories of real people, Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves. (Bestseller)

Unfortunately, the best description of this book is a quotation from it: "In business, you have to put a lot of nonsense together and present it." (Page 194.) The book is seriously flawed, as the author seems to have been unable to decide whether she is writing about the power of quietness, or about introversion: two very different things. Both the title and the subtitle indicate that the book is about the beneficial power of quiet and quietness. Yet, while the book is stuffed with an almost suffocating surfeit of "studies" on extro- and intro-version--most of which do not clearly establish anything at all--there is not even one "study" of quietness, and the possible benefits of quietness. In fact, although the title of the book is "Quiet," that word, and supposed topic, hardly ever appears in the book, at all. Flawed. Confusing. Just one more book in which the quality and topic of the book does not match the Loud, eye-catching hook of the title!

This is one of those books that had a big impact on me and changed my thinking in my life. It helped me better understand myself (an extrovert) and my son (an introvert) by giving us excellent examples of the strengths of being an introvert - it was truly a gift.

FindingJane
Mar 06, 2017

Ms. Cain expounds on a theory that she’s talked about in seminars around the globe. Quietude isn’t necessarily just for those who are shy, nervous in crowds or tense about speaking in front of audiences. She makes a case that there is no such thing as people who are entirely introverted or extroverted. Most of us lie somewhere between the two extremes.

The book is absorbing and makes its case point by point. At times, readers will find themselves nodding as they identify with the various people Ms. Cain meets and talks to in her search for understanding about why some people are full of insouciance when engaged in a round of giddy social whirls and yet happiest when they are home alone with a book and a soothing cup of tea.

What makes people crave the limelight and others seek the shadows? Why is America so obsessed with people who are confident, loud speakers even when those people are usually the ones with the worst ideas? How can parents ease off children who don’t speak up in class while calmly assuring them that there’s nothing wrong with being silent when other children are talking a mile a minute? How can teachers coax the mute children to participate and not alienate them entirely from class participation?

Ms. Cain not only identifies potential problems between extroverts and introverts; she puts out sound ideas for helping both sides to communicate without falling into frustrating patterns of offensive rebukes and defensive retreats. This is truly the book the softly spoken people have been waiting for and one that many avid bibliophiles will (soundlessly) cheer.

ktnv
Mar 03, 2017

Excellent book and exploration of the subject. Understanding the history of our relationship to extroverts and introverts and how our systems have been set up is very eye opening. It is a very thoughtful and thorough exploration, a slow read, well worth going beyond the first few pages.

I identify as an introvert so I was very excited to read this book, but quickly became disappointed and found out it is overrated. The book jumped around a lot and felt like a repetitive compilation of pop science clippings to make the point about introversion > extroversion. It also seemed to emphasize a lot about the negativity of extraversion. The author also made a lot of overarching assumptions about exactly what traits an introvert has vs extrovert has. Like, introverts are a, b, and c and extroverts are e, f and g. No! That's not how it works! She also kept emphasizing how 'most teachers think extroverted students are most keen to excel'. As an introverted teacher myself and been colleagues with many other introverted teachers, this is absolutely not true. A good teacher implements lessons that cater to all personality types and learning styles - they also know that introverted students are NOT less likely to excel, unlike what this author thinks. I also found myself disagreeing heavily with her continued association of shyness and introversion. These 2 things are different and are not always hand-in-hand, as I've experienced myself. The final thing I read before i just couldn't take it anymore was how she equalled social anxiety disorder with 'pathological shyness'. What?! Just because 2 things can be related doesn't mean they're the same thing! Do yourself a favour and don't read this pseudo-science psych book. I found 'Grit' to be much more consistent and a more stimulating read.

I could not get through more than a few pages of this book. I found it repetitive and I strongly disagree with the premise that the majority of people believe you have to be extroverted and loud to be successful. In my experience as an executive, I have found that knowledge, leadership skills and teamwork are valued much more by employees, peers and senior management. Knowing what type of personality you have is important because it helps you understand how you and others relate to the world. But whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, you should embrace who you are and appreciate that the strongest teams are made up of a variety of personalities.

Extremely interesting! I particularly liked the end of the book where Cain discussed ways you can be an advocate for your introverted child. It was a slow read because I had to digest all the information but it was worth it!

If you sometimes wonder why you found most other people annoying and prefer staying at home alone all day reading in the weekend, borrow this book. There is nothing wrong with you! Enjoy staying at home and read this book especially its Part Four: How to love, How To Work.
While you are at it, try baking a rabbit with rosemary, it is delicious.

The pacing felt more like Neurotribes except... I reduced it to a quarter of an entire term or something (three weeks compared to exactly two months and a few days). I am so proud of myself in reflecting on life in connection, reviewing stuff I already knew, and looking back on the past while reading the book. I've made it to the end, and wow! It took days to had it done. Otherwise, it was interesting in academic, business-like and professional ways that I thought it was importantly required for the ASN program (if you think it's optional, that's fine). I am an introvert whose tomorrow seemed uncertain to self. It was somewhat relatable, I understand the difference between the author's perspective and my own when it comes to being the one who has ideas on its own, to dream big and to think before acting.

If you felt so overwhelmed by today's society, I think this book must be perfect for you. To me, it's alright, yet specifically helpful.

Quotes

We perceive talkers as smarter than quiet types – even though grade-point averages and SAT and intelligence test scores reveal this perception to be inaccurate. In one experiment in which two strangers met over the phone, those who spoke more were considered more intelligent, better looking, and more likable.

Probably the most common – and damaging - misunderstanding about personality type is that introverts are antisocial and extroverts are pro-social. But as we’ve seen, neither formulation is correct; introverts and extroverts are _differently_ social. What psychologists call “the need for intimacy” is present in introverts and extroverts alike. In fact, people who value intimacy highly don’t tend to be, as the noted psychologist David Buss puts it, “the loud, outgoing, life-of-the-party extrovert.” They are more likely to be someone with a select group of close friends, who prefers “sincere and meaningful conversations over wild parties.”

Open-plan offices have been found to reduce productivity and impair memory. They’re associated with high staff turnover. They make people sick, hostile, unmotivated, and insecure. Open-plan workers are more likely to suffer from high blood pressure and elevated stress levels and to get the flu; they argue more with their colleagues; they worry about coworkers eavesdropping on their phone calls and spying on their computer screens.

We tend to forget that there’s nothing sacrosanct about learning in large group classrooms, and that we organize students this way not because it’s the best way to learn but because it’s cost-efficient, and what else would we do with our children while the grown-ups are at work? If your child prefers to work autonomously and socialize one-on-one, there’s nothing wrong with her; she just happens not to fit the prevailing model.