Tag Archives: writing

I’ll admit – I stole this title from one my kids’ favorite authors. The books are a family favorite. Turns out the guy who writes them started his career as a writer for Sesame Street.

Despite writing his stories for kids, his messages apply to everyone. They’re usually about being kind, thinking of others, etc. As the title suggests, this one is about waiting. And lately, my life has been all about waiting.

Waiting is far from easy. It’s downright difficult. Rigorous. Torturous. For me, it’s been a lesson in Faith.

I worked for the Pennsylvania WIC program for 17 years – most of it in the same office and some of it as a college intern before I became an official nutritionist.

The job itself wasn’t hard and I thoroughly enjoyed expanding my knowledge about pregnancy, nursing, infants and young children. However, as anyone who’s worked for a government-funded social services program can tell you, other aspects were not so fun. Over the years we dealt with funding cuts, changing administrators, a decrease in benefits, a lack of 401k, and a host of other issues that depended on the current whim of those in office. Despite the frequent uncertainty of my job, I felt called to stay. I found a “supernatural” peace that WIC is exactly where God wanted me to do His work. If the time came for that to change, he would let me know.

That change came in September of 2016, when our contract went up for bid and a new agency took the reins of our program. We worked closely with this agency for years, as they had always been the ones to complete our yearly staff and program reviews. They trained us on any new rules and regulations as well as nutritional topics. I had the option to reapply for my job and continuing working for WIC.

I had the option to reapply for my job and continue working for WIC.

I chose to walk away. I don’t approve of the way this agency conducts itself when it comes to finances or employee relations. The thought of working for them directly left a sour taste in my mouth. It was time to move on. It didn’t take me long to make that decision and when I did, I felt at peace that it was the right one. God had called me on to something new.

I don’t approve of the way this agency conducts itself when it comes to finances or employee relations. The thought of working for them directly left a sour taste in my mouth. It was time to move on. It didn’t take me long to make that decision and when I did, I felt at peace that it was the right one. God had called me on to something new.

Writing has long been a passion for me, one that I’ve dreamed about turning into a career. When I made the decision to leave WIC I had no concrete plans on my next job, but I felt like God was paving the way for me to write.

Squeeeeeee!

My husband and I talked. We made plans to turn one of the spare bedrooms into my “office” and my current babysitter agreed to maintain our current schedule. However, as eager as I was to dive into this new venture, I barely managed to get my toes wet.

It’s been a little over three months since my time with WIC ended and I’ve barely done any writing at all. Instead, God called me to be a stay-at-home-mommy and homemaker. Two things that you would NEVER find on my wish list. However, the only time my soul felt at peace were the times I was taking care of “home” – my kids, my husband, our pets, the house. Anytime I tried to push into a different direction or rush God’s timing, I met resistance in one way or another.

Looking back, God knew what he was doing. At the same time I lost my job, my husband took at promotion. It meant more time away from home, sometimes overseas for a week at a time. I became the “It-Girl”. I needed to be able to pick up the slack to allow my husband time to find his stride with this new job.

So, even though I desperately wanted to write, I graciously -(at least I hope!) – became a servant and took care of whatever needed taking care of. Surprisingly, I fell into the role easier than I would have thought possible.

God had called me to wait.

I never heard him say, “No, you can’t write.” Nor did he ever divulge his plan to me in any degree. Nor did he drop any other kind of grand career opportunity in my lap. Instead, I’ve been standing in the hall, knowing that closing the door to WIC remained the right decision but not knowing when or if or how the next one would open.

Guys.

Waiting is HARD!

Especially when you’re waiting on God’s timing, not your own. Things happen when he’s ready to make them happen, not when you want them to happen.

However, this isn’t the first time I’ve been called to wait. Looking back, I can see other missed opportunities or times when I jumped the gun, all because I reacted out of fear instead of being obedient to his plan.

This time I took a deep breath, put on my big girl panties, and chose to wait. I’ve wondered many times if other people just think I’m being lazy, that I don’t want to work. When I try to explain this whole I’m-waiting-on-God’s-call thing, I’m expecting people to look at me as if I’m loony.

I’m neither. I’m simply being obedient. I’m refusing to give in to fear. I’m refusing to play by anyone’s rules but those laid out in the Bible. I’m trusting in God to use me where he wants me and that when he’s ready, he’ll make a way for that to happen.

Do I hope it’s through writing?

(You shouldn’t have to ask.)

Of course! But I’m determined to wait for his verdict, no matter what it is.

Last night my husband came home with his three-month review papers in hand and all that waiting paid off. God answered in a big way and it’s opened the door for me to pursue a life I’ve only ever fantasized about.

I still have no idea exactly how it’s going to play out. I’ve still got a lot of unanswered questions. I’ve still got doubts and, yes, fears. I still have to write at my kitchen table because that office is still a spare bedroom. I’m starting a new career, at the bottom of the ladder, at age 37.

But I get to write.

What has all this waiting taught me?

That we are still learning and growing during the wait. We are learning how to choose Him over the world. We are learning how to trust Him for everything we need. We are learning what it means to live by faith, not by sight.

First of all – WOW! I haven’t posted to my blog in so long I’m surprised it didn’t send me a Dear John letter.

What brought me back? Putting aside the job loss and maturing children that have given me a few more smidgens of free time. . . . .

Race.

Ethnicity.

And the process of creating characters – especially those of a different color, race, and religion than you.

Let me give you a bit of back story: I currently have 6 full length novels posted on WattPad. My second most popular one, All I Never Wanted, has been up for three years. It’s garnered a few comments here and there, but recently it’s been one chapter in particular that’s gotten repeat comments – and they’re all about the exact same line in the story.

By repeat comments, I mean four. Of the 5,000+ reads recorded for this chapter, it’s these four that have struck a chord with me.

Why?

Because all of them refer to a moment in the story when I introduce two African-American sisters, whom I named Shasta and Shanikwa. And all four wanted to know why these girls don’t have “normal” names.

First and Foremost, please understand that this white girl meant no offense. However, I’ve struggled with the need to defend myself. I’ve also pondered the wisdom of mentioning it, because the topics of race and racism are so rampant right now. It seems like no matter what “color” you are – someone finds offense with something.

I’ll do my best to keep it simple:
1. I wanted these girls to have unique names and stand out, if only for a brief period of time.

2. The demographic I’m writing about is also the same demographic that I worked with for the past 13 years. When I chose names, I looked to my clients. These characters are named after real people.

3. What defines normal? It depends on your perspective. Let’s be honest – we all know African-Americans of both sexes with names similar to my sisters. However, that doesn’t mean I think ALL African-Americans are named so uniquely. I know some beautiful black women with the more traditional names of Miriam, Evelyn, Alaina, and Helen. I also know some white people with the unfortunate monikers of Tequila, Chevelle, and T. (Yes – just T.)

4. Take it for what it is – a story. Not a representation of an entire group of people – white, black, or otherwise. The characters are all developed for that story, for that situation, for that place and point in time. I’m not going to change them because I didn’t write them with any kind of prejudice or ill intent in mind.

5. I also recognize that I am white. I grew up in a white family, in a predominantly white town, with white friends. I married a white man and have white kids. While I don’t consider myself to be prejudice or racist in any way, I also understand that I have a skewed perspective. I don’t know what it’s like to be a minority or to constantly be second guessing whether people are judging me, stereotyping me or making fun of me.

Please know that when I named Shasta and Shanikwa I was NOT doing any of those three. I simply wanted two, quirky, black sisters.

What matters most to me is the state of your heart – are you a good person with a kind heart and a positive attitude? I would hope that when someone of a different race looks at me, they don’t stop at the color of my skin. I hope they would look deeper than that before labeling me prejudice or racist or any of those other ugly names flying around right now.

I recently started another blog (mamainsanity.wordpress.com) focusing on parenthood and how crazy insane I feel at times trying (and failing!) to be a good Mom. This post came from that blog but I thought it had relevance here too. Enjoy!

I wish I had known when I was young that I would grow to love writing so much. More than that, I wish those who’d recognized my talent/passion would’ve encouraged me to pursue it and helped put me on a path that would help it flourish in the future. Instead I ended up majoring in Nutrition and graduated with both a B.S. and an M.S. in the field.

I do enjoy my job with the WIC Program – I like the aspects of nutrition during pregnancy, breastfeeding, infancy and childhood. After ten years in this specific field, I’m pretty darn good at my job.

But it’s not my passion. I don’t go home still thirsting to learn more about nutrition.

Instead I spend my down time working over plots or character sketches or simply writing a story.

This true passionate talent gets relegated to the back burner because I pursued something else.

I’m 100% positive I’m not the only one.

I think it’s silly that those of us who choose to pursue a college education are expected to know what we want to do with the rest of our lives at the tender age of 18. At that point in life we barely have our heads screwed on straight. All we’re looking forward to is the chance to have freedom from Mom and Dad.

Granted, there are a few who know their passion and pursue it in four years and leave the rest of us in the dust. It took me a whole semester just to decide to major in Nutrition. Now, two degrees and thousands of dollars later, I wish I hadn’t wasted the time or money.

My hope now is that I can look at my girls as they grow, see what they’re both good at and truly passionate about, and encourage them to pursue that. I want them to enjoy what they do and feel fulfilled by it.

This concept isn’t new and I think more parents need to pay attention to it.

When I got married I quickly discovered that one of my Mother-in-Laws favorite scripture passages is Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” At the time, my brother-in-law was a rather wild and rebellious soul and I think she clung to this verse hoping that it meant he would someday accept the much more conservative principles of her own faith.

In some ways, she’s right. As Christians we are in charge of spreading the gospel to our kids. It is then their responsibility to believe or not believe.

But this verse means so much more. I didn’t dig any deeper until I picked up a Max Lucado book and he spent an entire chapter devoted to this one verse. His interpretation of the scripture meant something entirely different. He charged parents instead to help their kids discover their talents, to find what they are good at, passionate about, and built for. Then we are to take every opportunity we can to let them practice and hone that skill so that they can carry it into old age.

There are many translations of that verse, some helping to see this viewpoint better than others:
“Teach a child to choose the right path, and when he is older, he will remain upon it.” The Living Bible
“Point your kids in the right direction – when they’re old they won’t be lost.” The Message
“Bring up a child by teaching him the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn away from it.” New Life Version
“Teach a child how to follow the right way; even when he is old, he will stay on course.” The Voice

They all speak of a path or a course or a direction – and most assume that means the straight and narrow walk to Heaven. However, it can also mean the direction of their life in general. Help them discover who God created them to be. We are all parts of one Body, that of Jesus Christ, and we all have different skills and assignments. It is our job as parents to help our kids discover what God created them to do and be. Beyond that, we need to put them on a course that allows them to use their talent to glorify God.

I only started taking my writing seriously when I turned 30. For our anniversary my husband bought me a laptop and said, “I expect you to use that to write. You’re good at it. So do it.”

No one had ever said that to me before. People humored me. Some even read my books and told me they liked it or thought I was a good writer. But no one ever pushed me to pursue it or helped me find the means to do so.

I had been writing for 19 years by that point, but only in the past five have I allowed my words free reign for the world to see.

Now when people ask me to define myself it rolls off my tongue without hesitation or embarrassment – “I’m a writer.”

I want my kids to have that kind of confidence from the start. I want them to embrace and be proud of the person God made them to be. So between all the temper tantrums and dirty diapers, spilled sippy cups and mountains of toys, I am quietly observing who they are. What makes them tick? What do they show a natural talent and interest in?

Those are the things I want them to pursue.

Though I may lament lost time and opportunities, I’m still thankful that I finally found someone who convinced me to take myself seriously. Better late than never. Even though I haven’t achieved “traditional success” – meaning I’m not published in print or in electronic form – I still feel like I’ve accomplished something for God. I haven’t wasted my talent.

I have five complete novels posted on WattPad and all five of them are quickly and quietly racking up readers. All but one of them focuses on a person’s journey to God – whether through grief, fear, anger or unforgiveness. Better than the numbers and the followers are the comments I’ve garnered from my readers.

God is using my words to tell His story and people are responding to that.

Two of the best comments I’ve received were these:

“Absolutely loved the story line, the flow and character descriptions. You did a good job manipulating my emotions and reminding me of the various tough times that I just couldn’t pray or believe. Grief is not an easy road for many. You were quite effective in answering many grief related questions that people normally ask. All in all, this was an excellent story! This story is truly one of those hidden gems on Watt Pad. Keep up the awesome work!”

“The two stories I’ve read of yours have been a wealth of knowledge for me. I’ve learned more about God and it’s given me some peace. Your stories are excellent tools of learning and I hope you write more. When Gabby threw the Bible I felt the pain rip through me too. Thank you for beautiful stories of such deep faith. I’ll treasure all I’ve learned.”

I have three goals when I sit down to write:
1. Write real and raw.
2. Point back to the source of my gift – God.
3. Get it read.

I’ve accomplished those things with every single one and that makes me proud.

I don’t know it all and I’ve still got plenty of learning of my own to do. But even in the middle of my mess – this crazy, insane, and totally brain-squashing thing called Motherhood – He’s still using me.

We’ve all got a gift or a talent, a passion that drives us. Harness it. Thank God for it and figure out how to use it to spread His message.

Beyond that, help your children learn who they are so they can do those things too.

*All scripture references were taken from BibleGateway.com*

*Max Lucado reference is taken from Cure for the Common Life: Living in Your Sweet Spot*

I’m not checking this blog often, not because I’m not writing but because I’ve taken a break and slowed things down. Since that writing conference in October and my realization that my goal is to be read, not necessarily “published”, I’ve been focusing on my WattPad account. In the year since I first took the layoff and spent six months devoted to writing, I’ve finished four manuscripts.

FOUR!

Granted, all of them had been partially started years ago, but finishing all four of them in one year’s time is a feat I’m proud to brag about.

I’ve got plenty more where they came from, some with potential to become full blown novels. I’ve also got at least three other stories flying around my brain that need to be started from scratch. I’m not at a loss for material.

However, it’s been nice to set a slower pace. I’m working part time, three days a week, at my “real job” and am happy to be back. I love what I do there and I enjoy my co-workers. Like any job, it’s got its bad points but overall, I enjoy the days I get out of the house to go to work.

That being said, my brain is still constantly tossing around new characters and plot lines, taking notes on the people around me and filing it away to weave into a future story. It’s not something I can turn off no matter how far I try to step away from it. There are days this gift takes control and I forget that I’ve got diapers to change or laundry to fold or a “real” life in general.

So, when I have the free time (and no one to neglect, at least too much), I’m still writing. I’m currently posting the fifth finished novel to WattPad and watching its readers climb before I’ve got it all uploaded! I LOVE this site and find it a much better outlet for my desire to write and be read. The feedback is immediate and it’s from the audience that counts – my readers, not an agent or a publisher.

I don’t know if I’ll ever truly pursue traditional publishing. Maybe someday I’ll self publish, just for the sake of it. For now, I’m quite happy watching people read my stories online for free. So happy, in fact, I wanted to brag a little. 😉

While I’m not the most popular writer on the site nor do my numbers even come close to some of the people on WattPad, I am extremely proud of what I’ve accomplished so far.

Just so you don’t think I’ve let it all go to my head – I still give credit to God for this gift and the ability to share it with others. As much as I love writing and creating, my ultimate hope is that He somehow uses my small efforts to make a big impact in someone else’s life. Otherwise, what’s the point?

For those of you who didn’t know – I went to a Writer’s Conference in October and had the opportunity to sit down with an agent and talk about Broken Vows. Surprisingly, he was interested enough to ask me to write a proposal and email it with my first three chapters. Holy Cow!

For those of you who follow me on Facebook – you saw me whining about my anxiety and insecurities enough that I’m sure you wanted to block me from your news feed! 😉 For anyone who didn’t, thanks for being so nice!

If the stress leading up to the conference and my agent appointment wasn’t enough, I found myself completely overwhelmed when he asked me to write a book proposal! So much so, I ended up with a head cold and fever blister that left me ready to remove my head for a week!

C.S. Lewis once said, “Experience: the most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.”

He wasn’t kidding. When I returned from that conference I spent a week on the web getting a crash course in writing a book proposal. The agent knew this was my first foray into the professional world of publishing; even so, I didn’t want my proposal to be weak. I didn’t want to come across as the scared greenhorn that I am!

Not having anything to compare it to, I feel I wrote a pretty darn good book proposal. He found it compelling enough to move on to the chapters of my book. Phew!

Alas, that’s where this particular journey ends. While he felt that my topic and theme are needed and poised to become popular in the Christian Romance market, he didn’t feel my writing was strong enough to pursue at this time.

Thankfully, he was very kind. He pointed me to some blogs to learn more about my craft and suggested I work on my “platform” to make myself more visible to readers.

Was I disappointed? Sure. Surprised? No. Relieved? You bet!

I learned way more than how to write a book proposal through this process. I learned my true goal as a writer and what is needed for me to feel satisfied, as if I’m fulfilling my purpose. And it isn’t what I always thought it was.

I love to write. I feel it in my bones. If I don’t write for too long I start to itch inside, like I’m having withdrawal. This desire is as much a part of me as the color of my eyes or my addiction to chocolate. I can’t escape it. I enjoy it. Creating characters and other worlds is fun! Many times it’s also cathartic and allows me to work through some of my own pain and demons or helps me make sense of the insensible of this world.

When I sat down to edit my manuscript and write the book proposal it was the first time that writing ever felt like work. I learned how to do both, and learned how to do them well, because it’s necessary if you want to get anywhere in the world of professional publishing. It’s also part of my inherent nerdiness. When I learn, I learn the right way the first time. It’s never half-a**ed.

I sent the proposal off with a sigh of relief and sat back to wait. While I waited I realized that I was now more afraid of him saying yes, more afraid of success than rejection.

Why?

Because if this manuscript went beyond this agent and got selected by a publisher it would mean more work. Editing, revision, marketing, etc. I could easily see the joy of writing getting sucked away by the process of publishing.

The day writing becomes work for me is the day I no longer want to write.

That epiphany made me really look at why I write and what I want to achieve. Beyond writing for my own enjoyment I only have two goals – for my work to be read and for my story to connect with my readers.

I’ve already accomplished both of those goals. Sure, there are no books in a book store or on anyone’s Kindle. I’m not making a cent when someone chooses to read my stories. However, the prestige and the money are not the things that flame this desire.

I feel content and satisfied to have my works posted on Watt Pad and watch the stats climb as new readers add me to their reading lists or vote for my stories. I have plenty of friends and family who have read my stuff and are excited to pass it on via word of mouth.

So even though my first foray into the world of agents and publishing has hit a dead end (at least for now), I don’t care. I may choose to pursue it again in the future.

Right now, I’m happy to take a break from writing and focus on the rest of my life. I have two small kids who need my time and attention plus a “real” job that I happen to enjoy, once you get past all the political red-tape.

Above all else, writing remains something that I enjoy. It remains fun.

I’ve got enough work in my life. I don’t want writing to be a part of it.

So. . . I am MUCHO excited to share with you that I won a second place ribbon in a writing challenge!

My FaithWriters website hosts weekly writing challenges, throwing out a one word topic and letting us run with it. I’ve submitted two other articles in the past and while I got positive feedback from them, I never placed anywhere near the top three.

However, last week I made a last-minute decision to write an article concerning “Exam”. And by last minute, I mean I was seven minutes away from not making the deadline! Nothing like a little pressure to bring out the best in a person.

The results were posted yesterday and I logged on to find I had taken second place in my level. I even got a little blue ribbon posted at the top of my article! Woohoo!

It doesn’t really mean anything. . .I don’t get a prize for this, it doesn’t get published anywhere other than the website. But it made me feel good! Of all the entries submitted for that level, I came in second. I was so excited I had to call my Mommy! 😉

If you would like to read the article I would be more than happy to let you. You can follow this link:

I’ve also been keeping tabs on the three novels I have posted at WattPad. I recently finished the third story, All I Never Wanted, and have been watching excitedly as it climbs in reads. I’m only 10 reads away from hitting the 1,000 mark! It’s attracted readers much faster than my other two, though I have a feeling it’s the success of Broken Vows that has led people to find it.

Broken Vows sits at 20,985 reads. . .it’s still ranked high on the What’s Hot list, though it has dropped to page three. :-p

Full Circle is slowly picking up readers as well, again I feel because of the success of Broken Vows. It’s at 5,353 reads and counting.

I’m so excited to watch the numbers and get positive comments and helpful feedback from my readers. Even if I never land a paper novel onto the best seller’s list, I still feel accomplished. I’ve finished three books and I’ve got people reading them! Awesome!

I returned to my “real” job this past week so the two days I used to devote to writing are once again filled by nutrition counseling. I’m glad to be back, I really do love the people I work with. And surprisingly, they seem to like me too. 😉 At least, I’m assuming they do seeing as how I had a Dunkin Donuts Pumpkin Muffin waiting for me on my desk Thursday morning with a welcome back note. 🙂

That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop writing, it just means my time is limited. I’ve been looking over some of the unfinished manuscripts I have, trying to decide if I want to return to one of them or if I want to run with a brand new idea I’ve been stewing over. Right now, I’m enjoying the break from writing and letting my mind wander until it settles on the next great idea!

Well, folks, it is official. I have been called back to work at my “real” job. My two days a week of writing will now go back to two days a week of nutrition counseling. Don’t get me wrong – I’m ecstatic that I can go back to the same hours I had and not have to figure out how to find a new job and afford daycare. I do enjoy the people I work with even if I don’t always enjoy the work.

That being said, I will definitely miss these five months I’ve had to devote to my writing. Actually, I’ll probably mourn them. . .

Even though I’m nowhere near a published author (yet) I have gained so much more in this process.

The biggest achievement for me is the ability to finally take myself seriously and call myself a writer. These five months have allowed me to embrace this part of me and it has felt wonderful! I no longer mumble when I tell people I write books. Instead I say, hey, guess what? I write books and I’ve got three of them on the Internet and I’d be SO happy if you’d stop by and read them!

Between the three stories I have posted I’ve accumulated over 26,000 reads and that number climbs daily. I’m up to 40 followers and 243 likes. I’m not the most popular person on Watt Pad – but I’m slowly making a name for myself and becoming visible. That in itself gives me a sense of accomplishment even if I’m not available on Amazon.

I’ve also stumbled across a HUGE network of fellow writers and published authors who are more than happy to share their knowledge and tips with us up-and-comers. I feel like I’ve barely broken the surface of the support that’s out there and what I have discovered is already hard to keep up with! I’ve got so many websites and profiles that I need to check there’s always somewhere that I forget!

Whether it takes me six more months or six more years to publish, this network will always be there and will be a constant source of guidance and wisdom as I take the plunge.

I have been surprised and elated to find that other authors are willing and ready to offer positive, supportive feedback and encouragement even while trying to promote their own work. It is a community with an extremely positive energy and I’m glad to become a part of it.

As much as I’ve enjoyed writing my own stories I have also loved reading other people’s works. There is so much out there that is GOOD and just not enough time to read it. That includes published works filling up my Good Reads account to the fellow wannabes I’ve met on Watt Pad and Authonomy. Reading broadens my world and opens me up to more ideas for my own stories. I crave and devour books like some people do pizza. It’s almost an obsession but one I have no shame for!

I want to give a shout out to JJ Bonds and Roberta (both of which I have provided links for you to visit their blogs!), fellow authors who offered me support, wisdom, and encouragement and proved that it is possible no matter how long it takes or what route you choose.

So even though I don’t have a book in hand – or on my Kindle – I’ve accepted that I am a writer and I make no apologies for it. If you haven’t already, then get your butts in gear and read my stuff! It won’t be free forever!

To end on a high note – I had taken a hiatus from my Faith Writers website and participating in their writing challenges. Just one of those websites that got pushed to the back burner for a while. But I checked in to the challenge two weeks ago and submitted another piece. While I didn’t win top prize I got positive feedback from the judges and I placed 6th out of 18 in my level. Woohoo!

Hey, it’s something. . . . :-p

Thanks for everyone who reads, offers encouragement, or just in general harasses me (you know who you are!) to keep me moving forward. Despite my return to the real world, I plan to keep writing. And I’ll keep you informed!