Sunday, 13 September 2009

Audiobook recommendation: Doctor Who: "Hornet's Nest"

I listened to the first CD in this 5 CD series last week, "Stuff of Nightmares" and its excellent. Not only does it feature the return of the 4th Doctor (Tom Baker) & Mike Yates, but also the plot evokes the best of the classic series. It has eccentric English characters and a creepy, original alien menace. An essential purchase. Steven Moffat should consider using this in the TV series.

8 comments:

That isn't a review, it's a soundbite. I don't believe for a moment you've actually listened to it - why do you continue to blog when you seem to have nothing to say?

Not only does it feature the return of the 4th Doctor (Tom Baker) & Mike Yates,Both of whom are out of character, as the Doctor is an alcoholic and Yates spends the entire play insulting everyone except himself. He even throws homophobic abuse as the Doctor in the final scene.

but also the plot evokes the best of the classic series.The "plot" involves the Fourth Doctor and a character he never met getting drunk and telling him about stuffed animals turning evil.

The closest the classic series got to this was Ghost Light.

It has eccentric English charactersIt has ONE "eccentric" English character and he "eccentric" because he is possessed by wasps.

and a creepy, original alien menace.Bugs that eat your brain? Even the Doctor complains that idea's old hat and lists all the brain-eating bugs he's met!

An essential purchase.A waste of money.

Steven Moffat should consider using this in the TV series.Do you REALLY think that's a good idea?

I mean, you think that the story would work well in the visual medium? It requires hordes of different animals coming to life and attacking people - difficult enough to do with just one animal, but there are badgers, owls, baby elephants, kangaroos...

THEN our heroes have to smash up all the animals to death, but only AFTER Mike Yates callously abandons Captain the dog to die. So we have animal cruelty which would prevent the episode being shown - and if you actually knew anything about Moffat's writing, he'd never allowed animals to be harmed in his work, even on paper. Watch the PG episode Windfall where he can't even bare to kill a goldfish...

And THEN these animals get their skulls cracked open and wasps come out. ANOTHER SFX nightmare and apart from anything else, the alien wasps will draw unfavorable comparisons to The Unicorn and the Wasp.

So you've got an alien menace they couldn't use doing things they couldn't show to animals they could barely afford to collect as props let alone animate, in a character-based script for two characters NOT in the TV series.

But you think this "essential" waste of 45 minutes merits being used in the TV series.

Judging by your GB thread, perhaps you should be the one to adapt HN:SON into an 11th Doctor and Ben Chatham tale, or REALLY stretch yourself and show us how Amy SHOULD be written - as we saw Rose the sex-crazed chav whore, Spartha Jones the man-hating bitch queen, and Donna Noble the deaf mute, it'd be interesting to see yet another of your premature interpretations.

I'll start you off, shall I?

(Ben Chatham is lying on his sofa, drinking exclusive absinthe in a Harrod's dressing gown when he recieves a text on his mobile)

Ben: What is this? (reads text) An amateur archaeologist required at the Nest Cottage in Wales. Degree from Cambridge a must, as well as prior experience in anti-alien intelligence organizations. Smoothe chest preferrable.

Kyle: Sounds like someone's tryna pull you!

Ben: Don't be so vulgar, Kyle, this is clearly a coded message from someone in desperate need of my assistance.

Ben: Dear me, the Doctor must have been desperate for company to want someone as wet-behind-the-ears as you to replace me.

(Amy is too busy admiring Ben's beautiful psyique to react to his cutting observations. She smacks him on the ass.)

Amy: Aye, lad, I bet you work out!

Ben: How dare you! You're nothing more than a child! Get out of my sight, you vacuous teen!

(Amy's eyes well up with tears and she runs away. Ben strides into the saloon and pours himself an absinthe. Suddenly everything seems to swirl and bend, and Ben falls backwards. A Clock can be heard chiming as he is caught by an attractive young man.)

Doctor: Benny-boy! My main man, you finally, like, got here!

Ben: Doctor! I think it's high about time you told me what's going on. My time is valuable.

Doctor: Yeah, like, thats a given, Ben, but this is well wicked serious my man. First thing's first, right? Like a drink, my bro?

Ben: But of course. I see you have collected the finest French absinthe from the 1900s.

Doctor: Nuthin but the best, like.

(Suddenly a stuffed badger on the wall comes to life and attacks Ben, its claws slashing at his perfect neck and throat...)

"I mean, you think that the story would work well in the visual medium? It requires hordes of different animals coming to life and attacking people - difficult enough to do with just one animal, but there are badgers, owls, baby elephants, kangaroos...

THEN our heroes have to smash up all the animals to death, but only AFTER Mike Yates callously abandons Captain the dog to die. So we have animal cruelty which would prevent the episode being shown - and if you actually knew anything about Moffat's writing, he'd never allowed animals to be harmed in his work, even on paper. Watch the PG episode Windfall where he can't even bare to kill a goldfish..."

CGI effects could be used for the animals. And overt scenes of killing the 'posessed' animals could be toned down. You don't have to show the crushing of heads etc

I assure you that I have listened to the CD. It is excellent.That's it? "Excellent"? That's all you can say about it? One word? You think that somehow convinces me when all you can do is say it's "excellent" twice?

If you got an essay that said something was "excellent" with no further justification, would you be impressed with that argument?

CGI effects could be used for the animals.Which would look unconvincing and dated - it would be the same principle as the Adipose, which you yourself despise.

And overt scenes of killing the 'posessed' animals could be toned down. You don't have to show the crushing of heads etcAlready you're compromising - I thought this "excellent" stuff was perfect, but now you're saying it needed to be 'toned down'.

You want a televised version of the story, but with everything you consider "excellent" toned down, changed or removed.

I do not want the story to be significantly changed. However there are certain scenes that I accept would be a tad too strong for prime time tv. However there are scenes that could look great on TV such as when the Doctor looks deep into Percy Noggins' dark eyes & sees the hornets looking out.

I do not want the story to be significantly changed.But Jubilee was significantly changed into Dalek, like Spare Parts into Rise of the Cybermen, Human Nature, What I Did On My Christmas Vacation, The Fires of Vulcan...

No alternate media gets to the TV unscathed. You should have realized that by now.

However there are certain scenes that I accept would be a tad too strong for prime time tv.And others dull. Half of it would be a close up of the Doctor talking about his day.

However there are scenes that could look great on TV such as when the Doctor looks deep into Percy Noggins' dark eyes & sees the hornets looking out.Which would be nothing more than an actor wearing dodgy contact lenses. The only reason that scene "looks great" is because of the vivid narration by Tom Baker. No one would even GET the idea of hornets being INSIDE Noggin's noggin - they'd just think it was some visual representation of a dream or something. Like the first episode of Blake's 7 where he has flashbacks. No one actually thought there were tiny Federation troopers beating people up inside Blake's skull, did they?

And if you need narration to explain the plot on a TV episode, it's going to be scrapped as an idea - especially as it's too close to the vespiforms, vashta nerada and ghost light.

And I still don't see why homophobic Mike's constant putdowns are "excellent".

Your Favourite Ben Chatham Actor?

A BLOG FORDOCTOR WHO RELATEDDISCUSSION &BEN CHATHAM/OPERATION DELTASPIN OFF STORIES

ABOUT OPERATION DELTA

The Operation Delta stories are a fan fiction spin-off from Doctor Who. OPeration Delta is an organisation that investigates paranormal activity and alien encounters. It is led by Ben Chatham, a former Doctor Who companion, along with Katie Ryan and Kyle Scott.