The dress code for Stella Young’s memorial was “fabulous,” and her friends, family and the public adhered in a moving ceremony at Melbourne Town Hall that ended in dancing at Federation Square.

Young’s loved ones wore polka dots, were adorned in glitter, flowers and hats, and wore anything but black on Friday as they paid tribute to the disability advocate and comedian, who had a penchant for dancing and polka-dotted shoes.

Young, a broadcaster and writer for the ABC, was born with osteogenesis imperfecta, and died unexpectedly at age 32 on 6 December.

Throughout her career, she called for the achievements of disabled people to be valued, but insisted disability did not automatically make people exceptional. She fought for accessible entry to buildings, particularly Melbourne’s live music venues, and was passionate advocate for victims of domestic violence.

Tattooed on her right arm were the words “You get proud by practicing,” and pride in Young and her work and achievements was a recurring theme throughout the memorial.

Broadcaster Waleed Aly, a friend of Young’s, led the service, instructing attendees that while they were allowed to be sad and cry, they must also “cheer, applaud, and dance”.

“Today is about a life that had no limits,” Aly said. “Stella’s family have made it abundantly clear we have to enjoy ourselves today.”

“We are under strict instructions to have a good time and celebrate her life in all its polka-dotted glory.”

And a lot of laughing and dancing did ensue, as her friends described Young as an “exceptional swearer,” “brilliant communicator“ and “master teacher“.

Aly described how he had fallen in love with Young – “like everyone else did”.

“You couldn’t spend long with her without figuring out she was smarter than you, she’s funnier than you, she’s a better writer than you – and then she’d go ahead and tell you off,” Aly said. “I would wager everyone in this room had had that experience of being told off by Stella Young and after all that, you loved it and you loved her for it.”

Australia’s disability discrimination commissioner, Graeme Innes, said he was among those to have experienced Young’s “venom” if she felt he wasn’t speaking out strongly enough in his role.

“You had to be pretty strong and quick to meet your standards,” he said of her. “Your stories of ordinary life as a person with a disability were funny, poignant, but always contained a powerful message. It’s not our disability that is the problem, the problem is the way [people] view it and the barriers [they] put in our way.”

He would continue to think of Young being on his shoulder, criticising him when needed it, he said.

“Now you’re gone at 32, way before your time,” he said, breaking down. “As Abraham Lincoln said: ‘It’s not the years in your life but the life in your years. I would have loved you to write my eulogy. I never expected to give one of yours.”

Young’s close friend, Nelly Thomas, had attendees in fits of laughter as she described her “darling Stella”.

“I have to say Stella would be most bemused, amused and confused by some of the people who’ve eulogised her over the past week,” Thomas said.

“With some she would be downright ticked off. It would be inappropriate for me to name names here but suffice to say I’m not going to Pyne over it …”

She imagined Young’s life had she lived into her 80s, saying she had “no doubt” she would have become “Australia’s first president, and gone on to run the world”.

“When some heritage ning-nong argues old buildings should be kept for history, Stella reminds him the human right to access is more important than the human right to nostalgia,” Thomas said, describing her imagined future.

“The Paralympics now includes wheelchair synchronised swimming. Dancing at every opportunity is mandatory. There is no family violence, and gender equality has been achieved. Ramp Up would be reinstated.”

The hall erupted in applause.

A year 9 student and long-time friend of Young’s, Stella Barton, said Young was so famous and popular that she could barely leave the house without people constantly approaching her with positive comments.

“If they were unkind comments she would just ignore them or come back drily with something like, ‘I think someone needs a hug,’ and that would usually stop them,” Barton said.

South Australian playwright and politician Kelly Vincent urged people to take their pain and use it to re-energise themselves to create a world “that is fitting not just of Stella, our star, but of all of us”.

And her close friend, Bryce Ives, told the service “Stella made this place better, she made Melbourne better, she made Australia better, and she was on the way to making the world better.”

Singer Clare Bowditch wrapped up the service with a song in tribute as images of Young appeared on a large screen, backdropped by polkadots.

The video ended with a quote from one of Young’s readings: “Never doubt that I have been loved. Boy, have I been loved.”

When the memorial ended, people moved on to Federation Square where a large public dance took place in Young’s honour.

Young’s family asked for those wishing to pay tribute to her to donate to Domestic Violence Victoria in her name