Denise and Lincoln will be strutting their stuff on new ITV show Stepping Out

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At last I can shout from the rooftops about the show that has taken over my life since I got back from my idyllic honeymoon in St Lucia. I’m Stepping Out with my hubby Lincoln for an exciting new Saturday night dance show and it’s killing me. I definitely need a frontal lobotomy!

Agreeing to do another reality show must be a bit like deciding to have another child. You absolutely forget the pain of the first one and remember it only when it’s too late to do anything about it.

So this is how it all came about. Days before we flew off to Portugal to get married, I decided it would be fun to learn a little dance for our wedding as I had just started Zumba. Hayley my instructor came home with me and we persuaded Lincoln to learn a few steps that would be fun for our guests.

Lincoln had never danced before. He hated dancing. He made my dad Vin look like John Travolta and he has got dad dancing down to a fine art.

Lincoln, wanting to please his bride-to-be, reluctantly agreed and we cobbled together a little routine.

Two days before our nuptials he suggested we have a practice in our hotel room where he surprised me by saying: “When we go home I would really like to dance properly, I’m enjoying this.”

I gave him my best “Ahhh, oh, bless” face and hoped that subject would never be raised again as I already had bruises on my legs from being kicked by his two left feet.

At this point Lincoln’s phone rang and, by the look on his face, I thought he had received bad news. “ITV has asked us to appear on Stepping Out, a new dance show,” he said. “We would start as soon as we get home and they will teach us to dance over the next few weeks.”

What could I say? The new Fred and Ginger had been born.

We knew we would be two weeks behind the other couples so, after a totally relaxing honeymoon, we literally had to hit the ground dancing.

The car that picked us up had a camera in it so a very tired, jet-lagged couple started filming straight away.

Although we will inevitably suffer comparisons with Strictly this show is completely different.

There will be little showing of the dance training and more about our lives as couples. The cameras are in theory filming snapshots of our real lives and how we are all getting on while we master five million dance routines!

Lincoln gets 10/10 for effort. I have never seen anyone try so hard or be so committed to anything.

Bearing in mind the other five couples all have some connection to showbusiness, the only camera Lincoln had been in front of is a speed camera and perhaps CCTV.

We had to do a ‘show and tell’ the other day in front of our fellow competitors dancing a routine. They were all watching me and my Lincoln, who two weeks earlier had never danced a step. He loved it. Snake-hips Townley I now call him.

Did he forget the routine? No. Did I forget? Of course I flipping did. Is there now competition between husband and wife? Of course, there flipping is!

Stepping Out has the makings of a great family show and I hope you all enjoy it. Please pick up the phone on Saturday, August 31 and vote for Team Townley. You know we’re worth it.

What were you thinking Chris?

I was saddened to hear of actor Chris Fountain’s fall from grace and his high-profile sacking from Coronation Street.

I knew Chris a little bit and have always found him to be a very charming, likeable kid. I often saw him at charity events, and more often than not with his lovely mum who runs his fan club.

So I am as shocked and puzzled as the next person as to what on earth possessed him to post those vile rap videos on YouTube.

I blame the rap culture and the radio stations that continue to play hard-core rap. OK, they may bleep out some of the lyrics but we all know what they are saying and the sentiment behind them.

A friend of mine has a 25-year- old son, a more respectable lad you could never hope to meet. However, he listens to rap that has the most racist, misogynistic and violent lyrics I have ever heard.

I asked him about his love of this type of genre and he said he just enjoyed the rap style but the lyrics have absolutely nothing to do with his views in the real world.

I’m pretty sure that Chris Fountain’s real views were not reflected in these videos, but he has certainly paid a high price for his naivety and stupidity.

Carol McGiffin with Denise's son Louis

Bezzie of the Week

If rumours are to be believed we will all see my bezzie Carol McGiffin enter the Celebrity Big Brother house tomorrow.

My advice to Carol is don’t do it. But I think it might be too late for that. I think she will be TV gold. Contrary to popular opinion I was not legless all the time I was in there because Channel 5 do not give you that much alcohol. However, you go stir crazy, emotions run high and even just a little bit of booze has a heightened effect.

Carol is a lightweight when it comes to drink and at my wedding she was the most hammered of everyone.

I used to be able to drink her under the table. After two glasses of wine she starts to slur her words.

Carol is likely to reply to innocent questions with a stream of expletives after a drink. So memo to the new housemates – if she shouts at you just ignore it.

She doesn’t mean it. She’s a great girl with a heart of gold.

The hardest thing for Carol is going to be being without her partner Mark.

They’ve been joined at the hip for four years and she has never spent a night without him.

One of the things about me that upset people in the house was my snoring.

I’ve been told that apparently dancing helps alleviate it.

Now I know why Lincoln signed me up for Stepping Out.

Dreaded new football season is upon us

One of the great joys in my life is that my husband doesn’t like football!

I can’t say it was the reason I married him, but it certainly helped. I’m acutely aware that our summer feels like it is already over and the football season is now upon us. Men talk of little else and it seems like there’s nothing else on telly.

It’s not so much the actual television matches that I hate, it is the three hour run-up to them and then the three hours afterwards with ex-footballers dissecting every cross, dribble, free kick, penalty, offside, inside leg and whatever else they prattle on about.

Just get one football channel that shows non-stop football 24 hours and let’s be done with it. And, oh, by the way, good luck Newcastle this season. Ha’way the lads.