The admins here at Uncyclopedia have nothing better to do than to remove crud from the site all day. In fact, when there isn't enough crud they get angry and start attacking vegans (not that they don't deserve it.) So, in order to help use up their free time, here's how to write such crud.

Contents

Poor speeling/grramur?

CAPITALIZE THINGS FOR NO GOOD REASON

CAPS, WHEN USE CORRECT, ADD EMPHASIS TO ARTICEL. HOWEVER, tHiS iS nOt WhAt We ArE LoOkInG fOr. If YoU UsE tHeM bAdLy ThEn YoUr ArTiClE wIlL sEeM lIkE iT iS wRiTtEn By A sChIzOpHrEnIc WhO rAnDoMlY sTaRs SHOUTING AT YOU FOR NO REASON!!!!

Lists of people who suck

Usually a crap article will have a list of people who suck. Only an idiot would think this sort of thing is funny. You are one such idiot (at least for the purposes of this article.)

These are examples of people who throw lists of people into their articles for no reason:

Insulting the Reader

Insulting the reader is never a good thing in an article (unless I do it - you shitbag!). Articles that ramble on, insulting the reader are just not funny. Again, exactly what we want. A good way of doing this is every time you mention something bad (e.g. retard) hyperlink to you.

Oscar Wilde was a clever witty man, not an uneducated macho fool. That makes it even more annoying and therefore excellent.

Poorly Drawn Pictures

A poorly drawn picture

MS Paint is infinitely better than Photoshop for our evil purpose. Draw all of your pictures in brightpurple. If you wish to cut and paste a picture together make sure everyone can see exactly where you have cut things. Imagine a small child making this picture with safety-scissors - that is the effect you wish to achieve.

Don't forget the templates!

So you have your bad article all written up and available to the public. But it's just another bad article, out of a sea of thousands of others. What's the power you use to separate it from the herd? Templates. Make sure everyone knows that Satan, Jesus, Kansas, Liberals and Minitrue all approve of your article, though it is still not safe for work and Crimethink at the same time.