What's happened guys? Is this the fearsome Kiwi batting we had been lead to expect? Have a word with your team, we are in danger of levelling things up with you!

Don't let us down New Zealand, we need to be able to abuse our cricketers mightily. If Nasser's lads win, we're gonna have to start on David Beckham again, and he's about to be a father for the second time!