Wednesday, July 13, 2011

We are enjoying the sun, sand, and the GORGEOUS moon here at Panama City Beach, Florida. I am so so lucky to have a few days to kick back and relax before my first day at my NEW SCHOOL on Monday!! (I seriously have GOT to do a separate post on that!)

But for right now, I want to "think" out loud a bit. I have been filling out adoption paper after adoption paper and reading adoption book after adoption book and I am just beside myself excited to be officially on the way to Miss Ruby. But, for some reasons, the happiest times for me are also a bit sad. You see, I miss Ruby.

I know this maybe extremely weird to comprehend, but I truly believe that God has a little girl waiting on us. I don't know if she is born yet. (I would think that most likely, she is probably at least conceived by this point, but really that is beside the point.) But here nor there, I 100% believe that she is a part of our family. She IS already a part of our family. She grows in my heart every. single. day. I just can't quite get to her yet.

And it drives me bonkers! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a three member family. I cherish every memory we make as three. But, oh how I long to see P play with his beautiful little sister. I so wish that she could be experiencing the sparkling water and all the giggles that we are sharing on this family vacation.

So all in all, I never want my daughter to question whether she was wanted or loved.