Friday, June 06, 2008

Caffeine Madness

Back on Sunday or Monday, I thought to myself, "Gee, it would be a good idea if I turn on the air conditioning now, before the weather gets hot, to make sure it works..." Wouldn't it have been great if I had actually done that? Maybe then I wouldn't have been standing in Target this evening, trying to decide which fans to purchase for our brick oven of a house.

[At least no one has chicken pox this time around...(you would have to click on that link to understand what I'm saying). It really is true that those who don't remember history are doomed to repeat it.]

And don't think that this fan decision was an easy one. Oh, no, this is America we live in, folks; we've got enough freedom of choice to make an over-caffeinated housewife want to stick her head in the path of some whirring fan blades by the time she's done checking out all the air-moving options available to the citizens of this great land of ours. Let's see:

Standard traditional box fan - cheapest, yes, but it also has the widest gaps for little fingers to fit through; and it doesn't oscillate, which necessitates siblings' shoving each other away from it so each can have a "turn" getting cool.

Double window fan - efficient, fits well in window, but not useful during the day when it pulls enough humidity inside to make the ceilings drip.

Oscillating turbo floor fan (round) - Efficient, small, but it still looks like someone could get their fingers chopped off (although there would be a silver lining to that situation: the ER is probably air-conditioned)

Double oscillating floor fan - Hey! 2 kids can chop their fingers off at the same time! Great idea!

"Retro" fan - Looks cool, but form may be triumphing over function...

I ended up buying one double window fan (for non-humid nights) and one tower fan (space-saving design! motorized oscillation! remote control! tiny holes!). It took me a very long time to pick them out. But that didn't matter, because I was full of energy and wide awake, thanks to my drug-pushing friends.

You see, I was at a friend's house for a homeschool party this afternoon when I felt a migraine coming on. She offered me some aspirin-caffeine drug and recommended I take two. Please bear in mind that the most caffeine I have ever had at one time is a can of coke (35 milligrams - I looked it up). Turns out I ingested over 130 milligrams of caffeine in one fell swoop. That would be an extremely strong cup of coffee.

So I've discovered why everyone has way more energy than I do - you all drink coffee. And I don't. Larry looked extremely confused when he came home from work and was greeted by a wife who simply could not stop talking. Usually, I'm barely functional by the time he gets home. I'm just dragging through the dinner hour, calculating the minutes until bedtime. If he tries to start a conversation with me, I cry.

Not tonight, though. I regaled him with several amusing tales of what I had heard on NPR that afternoon, reported what everyone had said at the party, cheerfully babbled on and on about what a mess the backyard is, all the while zipping around the kitchen, filling water cups, giggling at nothing in particular, and generally acting like a 20-years-younger version of myself.

Oh, I can't handle that aspirin-caffeine stuff when I get a migraine. I don't drink much caffeine at all, and the amount in one dose of the med is enough to make me throw up for hours afterwards. Plus, it doesn't get rid of the migraine.

I used to feel all self rightous about not drinking any caffeine. Then Little Man came along and with him, true, intense sleep deprivation. 10 years worth. Mountain Dew is now my elixir of the gods. Given to me to get through a day without wanting to just shoot myself to get some rest.Hey, it isn't coffee, so I can feel at least some what self rightous, right?

Perhaps the problem isn't coffee, or sans coffee? I found out I have a slow thyroid after the birth of my second child last year. I used to think a "low thyroid" diagnosis was a load of garbage and an excuse to eating more whipped cream on my pumpkin pie. BUT when I read the list of symptoms, I was shocked I had 9 out of 10. It wasn't the sheer exhaustion that was the worst, as I had grown used to it over 7 years. I didn't mind all the weight gain as I was trying to eat myself awake for 7 years. It was actually the fact I was cold all the time in the winter and fall. So, when I complained about that to my Dr, she checked my thyroid...just to check. Now that I have the right about of thyroid, I can stay awake all day, no naps. No rampant need for candy at 10am, 12pm, 2pm, 4pm and ice cream after dinner. No more need for caffeine after about 10am, since my body can already function. So, you might need to check that out. It changed me.

I can't stomach coffee and caffeine pills make me vomit BUT Diet Coke with Lime? Elixer of the gods. It gets me through the day. My family calls it my "crack" as I get quite cranky without it LOLI'm addict, I know.

I miss my coffee. I refuse to feel guilty about it. I'm happier when I have some coffee. It's much better for me than, say, meth. I'm caffeine free right now and an absolute b**ch. I just hope this baby can tolerate me drinking some coffee while she's nursing. The last one couldn't. I might just cry if that's the case again.

Just a comment about imajackson's comment. I too have hypothyroid. Right now it's the most under control that it ever has been and I can't believe the difference. I can finally have my hair long again without headaches. And I had at one point sadly resigned myself to the fact that I just wasn't going to be an active get out and run with the kids parent. But I am. It feels good.

Gotta love caffeine...I love those ads for exedrin...Two pain relievers Plus a litlle something to make it work faster!It's aspirin, tylenol and caffeine.I just take my pain killers with a cup of coffee!

A.C. Story: Snorkie spent the fall and winter throwing things into our brand new central air unit...I couldn't turn it on until DH "shop-vac'd" it!!!Blessedly this is the first we've needed it...I'll send up prayers for your survival!Blessings, EJT

So, is the real reason it took you so long to decide on the fan is because the store was air conditioned?

Personally, I like Cherry vanilla diet Dr. Pepper. That has enough caffeine to keep me awake and alert for quite a while. I drink a can every day. If I happen to forget my daily can, my children will bring me one without being asked. Not that I'm crabby if I don't have it or anything like that.

No A.C. here. Most of the time it's o.k. and the two unbearable weeks during the summer when it's not? Well I go shopping.Don't drink coffee but once or twice a year I have digressed to Dr. Pepper to keep my eyes open. Embarrass the heck out of the kids with my giggling, dancing and singing too.

If HB tried to start a conversation with me when he got home from work I would cry too - from the sheer joyful shock of it. There are some days it would be nice to converse with an intelligent adult. HB only talks to his computers after work - and he sings to them too, at bedtime. (He doesn't sing to the children.)

I'm certainly not caffeine free, way too much soda, tea, and coffee in my life. But I'm feeling you on the no a/c. We're 90+ degrees today and no working air compressor. Yikes, we're fighting for position in front of our standing oscillating fan! There's a lot to be said for checking these things out during spring :-)

We have zone ac- a window unit in every room. I still have to clean out a 2 of them, as they are very dust and one has mildew in the louvres. But I have to ones for the bedrooms, kitchen, living room and dining room installed.

Caffiene is my friend. :) Though, if I drink more than 2 glasses of caffinated ice tea, I am hyper and can't get too sleep at night.

So, I'm now tempted to take those pills, except eventually, you end up on a holter monitor and your Dr. tells you your heart doesn't like the caffeine and then you have to kick the habit. I'll just stick to the low dose chocolate and be sluggish.

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About Me

6 children, 1 husband (I'm boring that way). Here are the kids by name and age, to make it easy on you:
Theo (23), Anna (21), David (17), Brian (14), Rachel (12), and Susie (9, and still cute as a button).
No pictures, no real names, as my husband is totally paranoid. But he's cute as a button, too.