Something like, "Heaven is an Irish downstairs maid, a French upstairs maid, an Italian cook, German house keeper, etc."

"Hell," naturally, was all the same characters, but with their nationalities switched around.

I only wrote it (Hell is for Pat Benatar and French autos), because, now as St. Bob, I was just let in on that fact. I have become privy to many others, which I may or may not divulge, but only on holy days of obligation.

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LIFE ALERT is God's way of saying, "I called, but someone else picked-up."