Senate Shuts Up Liz Warren for Violating Free Screech Rules

WASHINGTON – Senator Elizabeth “Angry Owl” Warren was told to shut up and sit down as she continued to screech about fellow Senator Jeff Sessions on the Senate floor last night. “Angry Owl” is Warren’s given Cherokee Indian name.

Warren had been trash screeching Senator Sessions because she doesn’t want to see him get approved to become our next Attorney General. She was first warned that she was crossing a decorum line in the Senate chamber, at which point she turned her head completely around and freaked out those in the room.

After she persisted with her screeching, she was told to zip it and take her seat. Majority Leader Mitch McConnell explained why he silenced Angry Owl. “The Senate has zero tolerance for screeching, which is what Senator Warren sounds like when she’s talking. The only rule we have about free screech, is that we don’t allow it.”

The president of the Senate invoked Senate Rule 19 to silence Liz. Meanwhile, Warren’s husband Bruce was amazed at the event, saying, “I’ve been trying to get that screeching woman to shut up for decades! Can I invoke Rule 19 in our home too?!”

Bruce said Angry Owl’s high-pitched, condescending tone has been tough to take in their marriage. And although he loves her dearly, he admitted, “Seeing her get shut down like that was pretty awesome.”