KUALA LUMPUR — The editor of Nose4News has apologised to TNB president and CEO, Dato’ Sri Che Khalib Mohd Noh, the staff and stakeholders of Tenaga Nasional Berhad (TNB), along with Nose4News readers and Malaysians in general for making his fake news sound too real.

In a statement read by his lawyer cum occasional punching bag, Leman Keding, Hassan said that he was sorry to have caused such ruckus, and that he didn’t mean to make anyone believe his extraordinarily stinky crap.

“I have been rather naughty, I have to admit,” said Hassan. “In coming up with this rotten piece of doo-doo, I had probably used too many realistic elements, and not concocting enough bullshit to keep the fake news sound fake-ish. Perhaps I should have referred to the TNB president and CEO by his actual alien name, Klathoxx-513, instead of the name he uses on Earth and one he is most known by.

“I formally apologise to Che Khalib, his staff and their family members for this irresponsible writing. TNB is a fine organisation, and every member of TNB works selflessly to keep the nation supplied with electricity.

“To all Malaysians, I also apologise for sounding like I was telling the truth. I wish to clarify that TNB is NOT suing the World Wildlife Foundation (WWF), or anyone, for that matter, for organising the Earth Hour. In fact, TNB fully supports the Earth Hour global project, and any effort to conserve energy.”

Hassan also implores all Nose4news readers to stop believing his lies, no matter how true they sound.

“Apparently all the warnings I placed all over Nose4News that everything on this site is pure fiction, true lies, pure horsecrap and has nothing to do with anybody alive, dead, undead and unalive, are not sufficient to keep everyone disbelieving my bullshit. For that, I am truly sorry.

“I also would like to take this opportunity to further clarify on my previous writings,” continued Hassan regretfully.

“Sabah and Sarawak will NOT be relocated to the peninsular at a cost of RM850 trillion. The world does not have that kind of money.

“Bill Gates did NOT patent the word ‘Fuck’, so everyone may continue using the term without fear of being billed by Microsoft.

“Ultraman did NOT kill an endangered giant crocodile. As far as I know, Ultraman has not killed any benevolent creature, by accident or on purpose. He is a responsible and caring gigantic superhero. Love him to bits.

“Malaysia did NOT enlist Voltron or any other giant robot to help tackle the economic crisis, and the country is also NOT planning to triple the Scenic Bridge.

“And lastly, Asia’s Biggest Loser champion David Gurnani has NOT lost all his weight. Mr Gurnani is still very much not weightless, even if he looks like he is.

“As you can see above, my lies sound very credible. It’s almost like I work at CNN or something. I’m such a bastard.”

Hassan promises to not sound too real in his future articles, and will include bolder and clearer warnings so that his fictional creations will no longer be believed by anyone with a reasonable amount of sensibility and even half-an-ounce of intelligence.

“Again, I’m sorry. I swear, on the name of my mother’s cousin’s uncle-twice-removed, the next time I write, I’ll make it obvious that I’m only bullshitting. And that, is the truth. Really.”

well, everyone make mistake. If you want to read a blog about truth, then please tell ur browser about google at the first place (and check the validity of the news you’re reading). I hope iNtErNeTs didnt sue you

what? Can’t you tell the difference between a mere joke and a parody? I guess uncyclopedia is right when they said “there’s no word for ‘parody’ in malay”. Sigh… It’s vary embarrassing to see that there are too many stupid people over-reacted to this kind of stuff and it’s even more embarrassing to know that those stupid people are my fellow Malaysian…

Haha, I studied in the US in a city that was the home of The Onion (also full of JPA scholars who travel all the way to the USA to hang out with other Malaysians and copy each others’ work just like back home). Very pleased that someone is making a Malaysian parody news site. SOKONG!!!

If people can’t tell that a “news” site with a giant picture of Pinocchio is fake and explicit disclaimer that “the truth is not in here” that’s their problem for being dumbos. Maybe they also think Uncyclopedia is the correct one instead of Wikipedia. ^_^

I agree with @MACC. This is not funny. You are sowing unrest and confusion among Malaysians. See all the confused commentors above?

My police force (not to be confused with the “third force”) will be paying you a visit soon to rampas your computer. We can use it for much better things, like playing pirated copies of Bioshock 2 that they got from Low Yat for me. Also, I am going to instruct the MACC to investigate the MACC for wasting government funds by goofing off and looking at silly websites during office hours.

U don’t need to apologize to the readers. Some are mature and well, ‘sophisticated’ enough to understand your jokes. But u failed to realize that many Malaysian do not get this kind of humor. And this is not your fault. However to cause unnesecessary attacks towards TNB and its CEO (I also read a nasty comment somewhere regarding his children) – u should be ashamed.

I hardly think you need to apologize. Infact, I think those “smart” readers need to apologize for just being plain stupid to believe everything they see even though it’s pretty obvious it’s all just not true. Especially those who were so fast to repost your stuff on their blogs as “real” news – perhaps the tagline “True lies. Total horsecrap. Absolute fiction” is too much for their tiny minds to comprehend.

A sad, sad fact that most Malaysians have absolutely no sense of humour, no common sense and don’t really think. And love “authority/govt/establishment – bashing” so much that they fail to see how idiotic it makes them look.

Internal affair of Malaysia again by the Rakyat themselves. Can’t we stand up together and make things better? Saying the fake then the truth is the main problem in the nation now. Covering is not the main answers. Sooner or later, the Rakyat will find out the truth. See, Hassan….

come on people, for those who believed this crap and spread it around are those who are really out of their mind and causing the trouble for Hassan. Please be mindful enough to seek the SOURCE for any material u are reading online to just make sure it is reliable BEFORE BELIEVING IT. You and I know that anyone could do anything on the internet. so it is actually up to u readers to be responsible enough to yourself before believing anything that is posted on the web. come on, don go blaming Hassan and saying that he deserves what he’s gonna get=.=

Maybe you should have a giant pop up with blinking lights and huge 25pt size text saying that “This site is not real!!!! Its fake news, get it? Go away if you have no sense of humor/open-mind/life” before you enter the site. Maybe then those people will begin to get the idea. hahaha.

Great site Mr.Skodeng. Laughter makes the world a happier place. Wish that more people would just relax and laugh.

This proves some of the readers here are a very gullible, acting on emotions rather than the mind. Have anyone read “The Onion”? Maybe the language used here seems too believable. May I suggest inserting a disclaimer (eg: This article is a fiction) to ensure that people do not react unnecessary. Seriously people, lighten up!

Oh man, i love reading the comments! And just an observation, and pardon me if i offend anybody, but it seems the people who are angry write with a fair bit of grammatical and spelling errors. Could there be a correlation between this and not being able to understand the spoof article?

Encik Skodeng, first off, good apology man very well said! 😉 but reading some of the comments above has reinforced my belief that very few m’sians actually understand (much less appreciate) satire, parody and just plain tongue-in-cheek humor.
as for those stiffs who wanna sue, well, maybe they lost their funny bone or just cant read too well. sigh..
pls dont stop writing man. malaysia could do with more of you. at least we would learn to loosen up and laugh at ourselves from time to time. keep up the good work (and good humor)!