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Bad Zach! Is PBG’s dudebro a “Big Brother” supervillain or a stooge?

Last summer was a rough one on “Big Brother,” largely due to a cast that seemed to contain not one person to root for. At least, unless you started every sentence with “Well, at least they’re not Aaryn.”

That’s no way to live.

This summer’s casting seems a little lighter, a little less heavy on the crazy, save for Devin’s meglomaniacal “‘Pinky And The Brain”-esque attempts to rule the world, and Caleb’s “nomance” (ha!) obsession with Amber. This assumption is based on the CBS version of things only, because I not only refuse to watch the live feeds, but I’m not paying a lot of attention to what people tell me about them. Last summer with Amandagate I had people emailing me everytime she brushed her teeth.

That, again, was no way to live.

Anyway, this summer obviously had an opening for a super-villain, and Palm Beach Gardens’ own Zach Rance has volunteered for the job. It was clear from the beginning that the Gator DudeBro fancied himself a mastermind, the kind of person who lied all the time and back-doored people. In reality, he’s like Eddie Haskell, the reality show years. He cackles and schemes and compliments Mrs. Cleaver on her shoes, but you can see him coming 30 miles away, mostly because he’s so loud about it.

In fact, his self-imagined self-righteous awesomeness has made him a tool for everyone else. Team America tried to get him to start a fight with Amber, and he went for it without knowing why, because he loves blowing up at people. He yelled at poor goody Nicole last week and called her a dingus, and seems to have no idea that now that he needs a favor, she still remembers him blowing up at her.

In short, he’s no Snidely Whiplash. He’s not even Muttley. He snickers too loud.

Observations from Sunday:

– Jocasta, I love ya, particularly when you hilariously summon “Old Jocasta,” who I assume was a saltier lass. But the constant sobbing makes me wanna shake you. Girl, did you not watch this show before? I know there’s no preparation for the actual experience, but if you even think you’re going to be doubled over in tears every time the wind blows, this is not for you.

– I know this show is not for me because there are no newspapers, and seem to be few books, and I can’t stand a two-hour plane ride without four magazines for backup, so no. Also, I object to being recorded 24/7 because #nightdrool.

– The letters from the loved ones of HOA’s Nicole and Donny were super sweet, because Caleb started macking on “another girl he can’t have” in Nicole’s apparently taken best friend at home, and Donny’s girlfriend, who shares a little much about the snuggling and kissing. But it’s sweet.

– Speaking of cuddling, Frankie and Zach continue to be the cutest pair in the house, because they’re like little kids who can’t believe how much fun they’re having, and they seem to plan their world domination while cuddling. (Of course, Frankie’s plans don’t concretely include Zach as much as Zach might think.