2486 Pages

I just read 2486 pages in 8 days. That’s 310 pages a day. 310 pages is an entire Christie novel (that’s Agatha for any young’uns on the list).

I just read the entire Twilight series.

SPOILERS

I liked book one well enough. Book two was a little slow, shall we say? But I could deal with it. Book three was when, if I hadn’t known that Meyer’s publishers told her to draw it out, I would have known that Meyer’s publisher’s had told her to draw it out. Book four annoyed me more than any of the other books.

I am reminded of when I took Survey of Forms: Fiction in college. Now, I suck as a creative writer. I wrote a story about a collegiate actress at a conservatory school as my semester’s project. In one draft, I remember writing what the character had for breakfast. Several classmates noted that they didn’t need to know that much.

I did, but they didn’t. What I love most is character development. I can never write a story because I can never end it. I always want to know more. And that’s sort of how Stephanie Meyer wrote Twilight (only without the benefit, I guess, of high school English or any formal writing instruction). For books one and two, I could get behind the character development. I really like Bella. I like her voice. Now, I get annoyed when, again and again, she completely underestimates herself, deprecates herself, doesn’t see something that’s so incredibly clear it’s got CLUEHAMMER written all over it. But I like her. I must admit that I adore Edward. Apparently, there’s a bit of a story with his take on the events of book one, and I might read it. Don’t know. Edward rocks. But I really don’t care all that much for Jacob. And a lot of book four is Jacob. Jacob doing a lot of stuff that really doesn’t matter.

The whole series did not need to be 2486 pages long. I wonder if there’s a “good parts” version, like William Goldman wrote about in The Princess Bride. I’d read that one several times. Because it would have lots of Bella, Edward, and Alice.

Oh, and Reneesme? What is that about?

Anyway, book four had me so thoroughly annoyed, because I knew that Edward and Bella were going to be together forever, and I just couldn’t see how they were going to manage it without making the plot completely unbelievable. Yes, I know I’m talking about a book that contains sparkly vampires who are the good guys, shape-shifters who think they’re werewolves, and a father who just wants to watch sports without thinking about the fact that his daughter is a vampire.

Meyer did it though. The end was … the big battle couldn’t be a battle. So, if it wasn’t going to be a battle, at least it was still like a battle, and fairly suspenseful. Yes, that’s the word I’m looking for. It wasn’t amazing, or anti-climactic, it was suspenseful. And I liked that there was a little bit of epilogue with Bella and Edward.

These are not books I want to thoroughly rip apart, because it would be very easy to do so. However, I’m glad that I read them, and I might even get them a few years from now when they’re at the library’s used book sale, so I can highlight the good parts.

I’m also glad that I read them because doing so reminds me that I LIKE reading. I haven’t read anything “for me” in a very long time. I read a lot of parenting books and adoption books and writing books and technical manuals. I’ve decided that I’m going to sit by Jack’s door every night and read until he’s asleep. It’s a compromise. I don’t believe in staying in the room until the kid’s asleep. So, I’ll probably get a nice half hour of reading time in every night. That will be nice.