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The Seven Minute Relationship Fixhttp://blog.adameve.com/blog/the-seven-minute-relationship-fix/
http://blog.adameve.com/blog/the-seven-minute-relationship-fix/#commentsFri, 21 Feb 2014 02:23:57 +0000http://blog.adameve.com/?p=9281We all go through relationship problems at time, but what if you start to notice that yours is starting to go on the decline? Is there a ‘quick fix’ way to be sure that your connection with your partner stays intact? You might think this was a gimmick, but a recent university study showed that

]]>We all go through relationship problems at time, but what if you start to notice that yours is starting to go on the decline? Is there a ‘quick fix’ way to be sure that your connection with your partner stays intact? You might think this was a gimmick, but a recent university study showed that in less than seven minutes you can save your relationship from falling apart.

Eli Finkel and his colleagues at Northwestern University gathered up 120 couples who had been married for on average around eleven years. Every four months, for two years, these couples would answer a series of questions about the quality of their marriage. After the first year of the study, half the participants were assigned to what they referred to as “conflict reappraisal intervention”.

So what was this conflict reappraisal intervention? Well, those assigned to this group were asked to look back on the previous four months and write down their most significant argument with their partner. This needed to be in detail, from the point of view of the individual writing it down. Then, the writer was asked to take on another point of view, from an outside 3rd party who wanted to see the best outcome for both the people in the relationship. The writer then needed to re-write this conflict from this imaginary 3rd party’s point of view. Lastly, the writer needed to describe why it was difficult for them to take on this fictional 3rdp party’s perspective during the actual fight. They also needed to discuss how they were going to use this outside perspective in future arguments.This session was done two more times, each four months apart. The results after the two year study were quite surprising. Those that took part in the conflict reappraisal interventions showed less of a drop in marriage quality during the study’s second year. In addition, those who were part of the intervention also were able to handle conflicts within the relationship more positively.

So why do the study’s founders think this worked so well? When couples fight, those involved tend to think of their own perspective on the situation. They also want to lash out, sometimes purposely hurting their partner’s emotions, even when not relevant to the actual issue at hand. The act of writing down these conflicts after the fact helps give the space needed to examine the actual issues more carefully. The perspective from the 3rd person forces the writer to drop the ‘lashing out’ and other emotional hang-ups from the previous fight. Finally, the self-examination and plan making at the end will help steer the writer into having more constructive arguments in the future.

Alright – who’s going out and getting themselves a notebook and pen? It really could save your relationship from certain doom.

]]>http://blog.adameve.com/blog/the-seven-minute-relationship-fix/feed/0Why Guys Get to Come By Default and Women Don’thttp://blog.adameve.com/sex-advice/why-guys-get-to-come-by-default-and-women-don%e2%80%99t/
http://blog.adameve.com/sex-advice/why-guys-get-to-come-by-default-and-women-don%e2%80%99t/#commentsFri, 31 Jan 2014 02:43:56 +0000http://blog.adameve.com/?p=9065This is the way that it has seemed since the dawn of time. Women — if we get off it’s by happenstance or major elbow grease. Ok, ewe that sounds gross. But you get what I mean. For most women we have to either make sure we are in the right position, manually stimulate ourselves

]]>This is the way that it has seemed since the dawn of time. Women — if we get off it’s by happenstance or major elbow grease. Ok, ewe that sounds gross. But you get what I mean. For most women we have to either make sure we are in the right position, manually stimulate ourselves and/or do some serious fantasy work in our heads to get off on a regular basis and that’s not taking into account hormonal fluctuations or the health of these relationships we are in.

It’s all about the money shot so to speak as to whether the sex you just had was acceptable or not. If he hasn’t spewed semen in you or on you, well it just means you aren’t done yet. Women’s orgasms not can silently slip by. So even when we’ve had he may not have noticed. Makes it easier to fake but who wants that?

We’ve made it acceptable in our culture for women to engage in intercourse and not expect an orgasm. It is not socially agreeable that men don’t get to experience the sweet release every time they have sex. Hence, all of the products and pills out there that make sure he can get off. When a guy can’t come it’s not assumed to be his fault, when a woman can’t orgasm the blame usually goes to her.Which isn’t exactly untrue. We are ultimately all responsible for our own orgasms. So if you want to have one, you should damn well be sure you know how to give yourself one on your own and in the middle of a lovemaking session. I see too many women wait for their male partners to somehow intuit how to get them off. And unfortunately too many women who choose not to empower themselves and communicate about what works for them and what doesn’t.

So folks, it all boils down to a) knowing your own body (I would argue that men definitely have handled their own penises far more than most women get to know their vaginas.) b) being empowered to communicate about how to hit that sweet spot. A little more self-pleasure and a lot more communication under the sheets is exactly what we need to level the playing field when it comes to the big O.

image is a copyrighted photo of the models

Dr. Kat is the resident sexologist at Adam & Eve and also runs a private practice and media consulting business. She has a Doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Her professional affiliations include AASECT, SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and completed a postgraduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Recovery Therapy.

]]>http://blog.adameve.com/sex-advice/why-guys-get-to-come-by-default-and-women-don%e2%80%99t/feed/0Getting Over Your Relationship Insecuritieshttp://blog.adameve.com/blog/getting-over-your-relationship-insecurities/
http://blog.adameve.com/blog/getting-over-your-relationship-insecurities/#commentsFri, 24 Jan 2014 02:27:04 +0000http://blog.adameve.com/?p=9099 As irrational as it may seem, sometimes insecurities in our own relationships appear out of nowhere. You may even be questioning why you have these feelings that have seemingly sprung up out of the blue. When you’re trying to work past the insecurities that you feel in your loving relationship, there are a few things

]]> As irrational as it may seem, sometimes insecurities in our own relationships appear out of nowhere. You may even be questioning why you have these feelings that have seemingly sprung up out of the blue. When you’re trying to work past the insecurities that you feel in your loving relationship, there are a few things to keep in mind – especially when it comes to working through them.

At the very base of it, relationship insecurities are based on a fear of loss. It’s your brain’s way to prepare yourself for a possible hardship – even when we’re not actually sure it’s going to happen. When that fear of loss is established in your brain, sometimes it’s harder to work around the ‘silly’ things that we’ve let slide in the past. Loss isn’t just applied to relationships – it can be the worry of your car getting stolen, your job being cut, or baggage getting sent on the wrong flight. All of these things can brew up the strangest worries in our minds.

When it comes to relationships, though, these insecurities can be worked through. The first is by accepting the fact that this worry is in fact natural. You can control this emotion through a few means, such as reminding yourself that your partner does value you and your relationship. Be confident that you are the most important person in his or her life. If you genuinely do not feel this way – and it’s more than emotions controlling that decision – communication needs to happen.Without presenting any accusations, express to your partner what you are worried about. Usually, this centers around cheating, or spending what you feel is too much time with others. Be realistic in your approach and discuss concrete facts. “I think you were texting that woman at work because you think she’s hot.” is a less effective way of asking “I’m not sure what you were saying on the text but I’m worried it would be something I wouldn’t like.” Don’t project your interpretation as to what is going on to your lover – lay out a foundation for them to come back with the actual details.

If in the back of your head, you know your insecurities are silly – let them pass. Keep yourself busy with activities that will take your mind off the issue until you’ve calmed down. This is when picking up a new hobby, spending time with your friends and family, or even just going for a run will help settle things in your mind. Remember to draw the line between irrational emotions and concrete issues that may be causing your relationship insecurities.

]]>http://blog.adameve.com/blog/getting-over-your-relationship-insecurities/feed/0Making The Jump To Exclusive Datinghttp://blog.adameve.com/blog/making-the-jump-to-exclusive-dating/
http://blog.adameve.com/blog/making-the-jump-to-exclusive-dating/#commentsFri, 03 Jan 2014 01:06:08 +0000http://blog.adameve.com/?p=8964 So you’ve been with your lover for a few months now, and you’re starting to get that urge to have that chat – you know, the one where you decide that you’d like to change over from an open ‘dating’ style setup to something more exclusive. For you monogamous lovers out there, sometimes approaching that

]]> So you’ve been with your lover for a few months now, and you’re starting to get that urge to have that chat – you know, the one where you decide that you’d like to change over from an open ‘dating’ style setup to something more exclusive. For you monogamous lovers out there, sometimes approaching that subject with your boyfriend or girlfriend to be can be a sticky one. Here are a few things to consider before bringing up the topic:

Is this just a phase? What we mean by that do you actually want this person to be your partner for the foreseeable future, or are you just in a “I really want a boyfriend/girlfriend” mood? We’d tell you to do a list of pro’s and con’s for this potential life partner, but we’re sure you’ve already done that a million times over in your head. Just be sure that your mind is wanting this person as your partner, not just a partner in general.

Are you emotionally ready for a potential letdown? With all the hemming and hawing over the decision at your end, are you also able to handle the possibility that they will turn down your exclusivity request? Be confident in your approach, but also balance that out with the thought that the answer will be no. (Or some form of “no”, like “not right now” or “maybe”.)Do you have a “Plan B”? So if your request gets turned down, what next? Do you keep on dating this person in the hopes that their mind will change further down the line? Or do you cut your losses and work on forming new relationships with the hope of a new Mr or Miss Right? A lot of this depends on the reason for the decline. Maybe your hopeful is about to go off to college and they aren’t sure how they’ll handle the long distance relationship, or maybe they just need more time after breaking off another exclusive partnership. Be prepared for a number of declines – and what they mean to you.

Can you clearly express what your expectations are? Be up front about what exclusivity means to you. In ‘traditional’ monogamous relationships, that means that your new partner won’t be seeing anyone else while you are together. You may be expecting them to end any other dating relationship they currently have. For others, though, especially those in the polyamourous lifestyle, this has a different twist. Are you asking them to be your primary partner? Do you want first veto when it comes to other lovers? Be very clear about what boundaries you are setting up with this exclusivity request.

]]>http://blog.adameve.com/blog/making-the-jump-to-exclusive-dating/feed/0To Sext Or Not To Sexthttp://blog.adameve.com/blog/to-sext-or-not-to-sext/
http://blog.adameve.com/blog/to-sext-or-not-to-sext/#commentsThu, 02 Jan 2014 01:25:30 +0000http://blog.adameve.com/?p=8946 Things might be getting hot and heavy between you and your love, but what happens when you’re separated? Sexting – or sending sexually suggestive messages via text message – has seemingly become the replacement for phone sex. While telling your lover over the phone what you’d love to do to them, the medium of the

]]> Things might be getting hot and heavy between you and your love, but what happens when you’re separated? Sexting – or sending sexually suggestive messages via text message – has seemingly become the replacement for phone sex. While telling your lover over the phone what you’d love to do to them, the medium of the text message does have its down sides. Here are four things to consider before sending your lover that super steamy text message!

1. Would you care if these sexts ever get out? Sure, your relationship is great now, but what happens if there’s a messy break up? Those text that were meant for your lover’s eyes only may now enter into the public domain. Establish the rules about sharing the sexts ahead of time. Never send anything you think would ruin your career if discovered. We’ve all seen the collection of politicians who have been embarrassed by their no-longer-secret sexual fantasies. Even if you completely trust your partner and know they would never share your messages, phones can still be hacked or stolen by a third party.2. Are you sober? Just like any other sexual activity, you want to be sure you’re in complete control of the situation. You may be tempted to send something super naughty during the night only to totally regret it the next morning. You can’t ‘walk of shame’ away from a text message! A good rule of thumb to follow is if you’re too drunk to drive, you’re too drunk to sext. If you still fell all hot and bothered the next morning – a great wake up message is a super steamy sext!

3. Have you already had physical versions of the actions you’re talking about? Maybe you’re in a long distance relationship and haven’t done the deed quite yet. While sexting is one way to keep the sexual fires burning, you may be setting yourself up for unrealistic expectations. If you’ve never done sexual activities such as anal sex, swallowing after oral sex, or various Kama Sutra positions, trying them out with less than successful results could be compared to your perfect session texts. Stick with what you know!

4. Is your battery charged up all the way? So you’re in the middle of a hot and heavy sexting session. The last thing you want to read is “BBL – phone is dying.” right before you hit the climax! If your phone can’t handle a hour long text exchange, make sure you either plug it in, or let your lover know that this back and forth is going to be a quickie!

]]>http://blog.adameve.com/blog/to-sext-or-not-to-sext/feed/0Five Sex Moves Most Guys Hatehttp://blog.adameve.com/blog/five-sex-moves-most-guys-hate/
http://blog.adameve.com/blog/five-sex-moves-most-guys-hate/#commentsThu, 26 Dec 2013 02:11:04 +0000http://blog.adameve.com/?p=8901We know that most guys are pretty open to what their partners are up for – at least when it comes to sex. But there are a few areas that we hear from guys time and again that are just not wanted in the bedroom. Are you guilty of any of these sexual faux pas?

]]>We know that most guys are pretty open to what their partners are up for – at least when it comes to sex. But there are a few areas that we hear from guys time and again that are just not wanted in the bedroom. Are you guilty of any of these sexual faux pas? Here are five sex moves that should be saved for another day – if used at all!

Moaning Too Loudly – Sure, it’s great to let your guy know that you’re having a good time with a bit of vocal reassurance. There’s a different between a few well timed pleasurable moan and a full on pornstar-esque scream fest. Don’t be one of those lovers who make noise over everything. Not only will your guy get ear drum damage from repeated screeching, he’ll clue into your fake reactions really fast when you’re moaning when he’s not doing anything!

Butt Play Before Permission – There’s nothing wrong with a guy who likes some anal stimulation. For a lot of guys, hitting that p-spot is going to send them into harder and longer lasting orgasms. The problem is when a guy’s lover decides it’s time to start on the anal play without prior consultation. Anal play takes time to adjust to for the guys who are open to that experience. There are also guys who just prefer not to take part. Don’t assume your man is butt play friendly – discuss it first!

Corpse Mode – Don’t just lay there –do something! Most guys want you to be involved in the love making session. Laying back with your arms and legs spread like a starfish isn’t going to be fun for anyone. (Unless your fella has that particular fetish, that is.) If you’re unsure what kind of moves to make, keep it simple and reactive. Stroke his back with your fingertips while he’s on top of you. Bend down for a kiss if you’re on top. Talk to him. You don’t need to be a gymnast in the sack to keep your man happy.

Unwanted Kink – Just like butt play, BDSM is another area that a lot of men are into, but only after discussion. Everything from a quick swat on the ass to tying up your lover is very enjoyable for some. The main hiccup happens is when you try out these activities before talking about limits, likes and dislikes, and even safewords. If you’re going to engage in any sort of pain play or bondage, always communicate with your lover beforehand.The Leaner – A man’s erect penis is designed to curve into his body. Any pressure in the other direction – like if you’re on top and lean backwards – can actually harm the penis. You may think that breaking a penis is just a urban legend, but it’s not! (Just ask Prince Yeshua!) This is also something to keep in mind when you’re sitting reverse cowgirl as well. Leaning backwards for a quick kiss of your lover may actually cause him more pleasure than pain!

]]>http://blog.adameve.com/blog/five-sex-moves-most-guys-hate/feed/0Romantic Fall Date Ideashttp://blog.adameve.com/blog/romantic-fall-date-ideas/
http://blog.adameve.com/blog/romantic-fall-date-ideas/#commentsWed, 27 Nov 2013 01:49:59 +0000http://blog.adameve.com/?p=8749The fall is the perfect time for romance. For one, the weather is perfect for snuggling in bed with your lover and watching movies. Also, the weather is perfect for bundling up and going on a walk. When it comes down to it, the fall might be the most romantic season of the entire year.

]]>The fall is the perfect time for romance. For one, the weather is perfect for snuggling in bed with your lover and watching movies. Also, the weather is perfect for bundling up and going on a walk. When it comes down to it, the fall might be the most romantic season of the entire year. If you are thinking about doing something romantic this fall, it might help to have a few date ideas. Here are some of the most romantic fall date ideas.

1. Take a walk in nature. If you are on the East Coast, you are in luck, because that is the best place to catch a glimpse of the fall foliage. However, there is a good chance that if walk to your nearest park – no matter where you live – you can catch a glimpse of some fall colors. And there is nothing more romantic than walking through the fallen leaves, holding hands and staring deep into each other’s eyes.2. Cozy up and watch a movie. The weather outside is getting a little cold – why go out when you can stay inside, blast the heat and watch a movie. There is nothing more romantic than cuddling up and watching a movie in bed. Some of the best movie genres are romantic comedies and foreign romance movies. Who knows, after the movie you can make sweet, sweet love to each other.

3. Go to a football game. Yes, this is the ideal date for two sports lovers who also happen to be, well, lovers. Football is autumn’s sport and there is nothing more autumnal than putting on a sweater and bundling up to watch the game. If it is particularly cold, you could bring a nice blanket to share and a cup of hot cocoa. However, if you are cheering up your favorite team, there is a good chance that will warm you up.

4. Take a hayride. If you aren’t allergic to hay – many people are – you could find a farm and take a romantic hay ride. Hayrides may be occupational and run of the mill to the farmer, but to you and your date, it could make for an incredibly romantic evening.

5. Drink hot cider and sit on the porch. This is one of those classic romantic dates that will surely be one to remember forever. If you have a front porch – an open window will do – you can make some delicious, fresh apple cider and watch the sun go down. Make sure, though, to wear a sweater, because you don’t want to be cold and shivering during this date. However, you will probably have each other’s body heat – on top of the cider – to warm each other up. Sometimes simplicity is the most romantic.

]]>http://blog.adameve.com/blog/romantic-fall-date-ideas/feed/0To Snoop or Not To Snoop – That Is The Questionhttp://blog.adameve.com/blog/to-snoop-or-not-to-snoop-that-is-the-question/
http://blog.adameve.com/blog/to-snoop-or-not-to-snoop-that-is-the-question/#commentsSat, 05 Oct 2013 01:49:27 +0000http://blog.adameve.com/?p=8466 You’ve got an inclination that your partner is cheating on you. You’ve got a feeling that if you just read through their emails or checked their text messages, you’d have the answers you’re looking for. You know, though, that if you do snoop and discover nothing, things will forever have changed. You’ve invaded their privacy,

]]> You’ve got an inclination that your partner is cheating on you. You’ve got a feeling that if you just read through their emails or checked their text messages, you’d have the answers you’re looking for. You know, though, that if you do snoop and discover nothing, things will forever have changed. You’ve invaded their privacy, and still don’t have the answers you are looking for. So what’s the alternative to snooping on your husband or wife? What can you do to determine if your boyfriend or girlfriend are cheating on you? Here are five alternatives to snooping on your partner that may help you get closer to the truth.

If they aren’t spending as much time with you any more, keep track of the reasons. Does he now want to hang out with the guys all the time, but doesn’t have many friends before? Does she want to spend some girl-time with friends you’ve never heard of? Are they working longer hours out of the blue? There are very valid reasons why a partner could be spending less time with you that’s not cheating, but by keeping track of what they say they are doing with their time, you get a better idea of what the big picture is.

Your partner is suddenly speaking like another person. Are they using vocabulary and phrases that they could have picked up from someone they are spending a lot of time with? Has the frequency of compliments you got changed (as in got less or more frequent)? Do you text conversations drop off for hours on end? All of these could mean that your questionable partner is spending a significant amount of time with someone else that is having an effect on their communication skills.

There’s been a shift in your sex life. You may think that if a partner is cheating, it dries up in the bedroom. While this may be the case, the opposite is also an indication. Sex drive is fed on sexual acts, which means for some, the more sex they have, the more they want to have. If your lover is also trying out some new moves under the sheets, you may want to sort out where they learned their new skills!

Your partner’s suddenly become a clean freak. Has your boyfriend’s place looked like a team of maids has come through? Is your girlfriends car that was once strewn with coffee cups and spare shoes now look like it came off the car sales lot? This might indicate that they’re cleaning up for their new partner. It could also show that they are getting rid of any evidence of an illicit affair.

Once you are certain, it’s time for communication. Let him know that you know, without coming right out and saying it. For some “Are you cheating on me?” will get a knee jerk reaction of “NO!”, but something like “I think we’d both feel better if we got this out in the open” or “I know things are going on and I’d like to talk about it.” Let your lover know that you’re looking for open honestly, no matter how painful it will be. Make eye contact to show your seriousness. Communication is always the key in building up – or ending – relationships.

]]>http://blog.adameve.com/blog/to-snoop-or-not-to-snoop-that-is-the-question/feed/05 Ways You Know You Have a Great Relationshiphttp://blog.adameve.com/how-tos/5-ways-you-know-you-have-a-great-relationship/
http://blog.adameve.com/how-tos/5-ways-you-know-you-have-a-great-relationship/#commentsFri, 22 Mar 2013 02:07:06 +0000http://blog.adameve.com/?p=7193Communication When we begin our relationships, communication is often the first aspect we can assess. There are times when people are on their best behavior early on and that’s when you don’t get the real deal on how well your partner communicates often times much later. It can take the form of withholding information, little

When we begin our relationships, communication is often the first aspect we can assess. There are times when people are on their best behavior early on and that’s when you don’t get the real deal on how well your partner communicates often times much later. It can take the form of withholding information, little white lies or out and out fraud — Kenny Chesney and Rene Zellweger style. Regardless, time is on your side. You want enough time and situations to occur to see if this partner shares your communication style. Or if it is a style that you can at least work with. You shouldn’t have to be left guessing in a long term relationship. While it is true that sometimes that’s all we can do early on, it can be anything from bothersome to dangerous later on.

Trust

The key here is examining how congruent your partner is between what they say and what they do. Some partners are very private so you don’t know what’s going on in their inner world and funny enough, some of us are ok with not knowing. But if you are to build trust in a relationship, sooner or later you’ll have to decide what level of your lover’s congruency is acceptable to you. Did he say he was going to run errands and then later through a friend you found out he was at a bar? This seemingly benign example can whittle away at your trust for one another.

Sexual Chemistry

“You don’t know a thing if you ain’t got that swing.” When it comes to sex the process is rarely perfect, so I don’t want you to think that you have to have fireworks forever when it comes to bedding your lover. What matters beyond that initial spark, is the flow of sexual energy between you. Do you have similar biorhythms and want sex at similar times? Do you respond through arousal and orgasm on a regular basis? Do you still want to jump their bones even after you’ve had a hell of a fight? Again, time is the great mediator here. Things will always change but it’s about how we flow together.

Shared Interests

Now this isn’t the case for all couples. And I am not suggesting you have to be joined at the hip. But research has shown that couples who play together tend to stay together because they find solace in common interests. So whether it’s golf or knitting, all that matters is that you enjoy doing it together when you can. It can be a great way to escape your screaming kids, or remind yourself that your couplehood should be prioritized.

Values

Values can ebb and flow over time but some stick with you for a life time. It just depends how important those values are to and your partner. Spirituality, home life, time together, money issues are all values that can either strengthen a relationship or destroy it. Communicating about your values early on helps to build a solid foundation as you move forward in your relationship.

image is a copyrighted photo of model(s)

Dr. Kat is the resident sexologist at Adam & Eve and also runs a private practice and media consulting business. She has a Doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Her professional affiliations include AASECT, SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and completed a postgraduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Recovery Therapy.

]]>http://blog.adameve.com/how-tos/5-ways-you-know-you-have-a-great-relationship/feed/2Sex When the Going Gets Toughhttp://blog.adameve.com/sex-advice/sex-when-the-going-gets-tough/
http://blog.adameve.com/sex-advice/sex-when-the-going-gets-tough/#commentsThu, 14 Mar 2013 02:13:46 +0000http://blog.adameve.com/?p=7219Shit happens and for those in a partnered relationship it can be especially taxing on the ol’sex life. Whether it is trouble with the kids, health issues or money problems, how do couples continue to connect physically with one another? Sex can often be the last thing on anyone’s mind when the rug is pulled

]]>Shit happens and for those in a partnered relationship it can be especially taxing on the ol’sex life. Whether it is trouble with the kids, health issues or money problems, how do couples continue to connect physically with one another? Sex can often be the last thing on anyone’s mind when the rug is pulled from under you.

We all know too many couples do not prioritize sex when things are good let alone, when the going gets rough. But I suggest you use sex to bridge that gap instead of allowing it to widen. Making time to have sex and be affectionate –even when you don’t feel like it – is a worthy cause. Physical contact stimulates the bonding hormone oxytocin and can help to soothe your body and mind. It can also be a great distraction. Allowing you to focus on yourself and partner rather than the issue at hand.

Difficulties like a health issue often last for periods of time. Not having sex for weeks or months on end, can lead to a feeling of disconnection between partners. This disconnection can breed a lack of caring and concern as well, lack of empathy for where the other person is emotionally.

Yes, I am suggesting to simply having sex to have sex. Orgasm is great for tension release but that doesn’t need to be the priority. Just putting yourselves in the same room, naked with no distractions for fifteen minutes a week can mean the difference between making it through these situations as a couple or not. There may be an off week here and there but if you make the effort to be present sexually even a little of the time, you’ll have a better relationship for it.

image is a copyrighted photo of model(s)

Dr. Kat is the resident sexologist at Adam & Eve and also runs a private practice and media consulting business. She has a Doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Her professional affiliations include AASECT, SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and completed a postgraduate degree in Marriage, Family and Addictions Recovery Therapy.