Monday, 30 April 2007

What do you do when you have attracted a lovely person into your life and now you're terrified that you are going to blow it or terrified that it is going to end? I have talked to many such persons who have this phobia. In my own terms, I called it the “SCARETOLOSE” phobia. I came across many people weekly who has this fear of losing someone they love or even too afraid to be involved in a relationship because they have been hurt so deeply before. Well, I have come up with a few strategies in my own opinion that I hope would help all those troubled people out there.

Let us look at the WRONG STEPS TAKEN which will end a relationship right from the beginning.

1. “People with the same interests will definitely work out.” Assume the person is your soul mate immediately upon meeting or shortly thereafter. Look for signs that faith has brought you together and be amazed by the correlations in your lives.

2. “It is my life and who cares about all those people out there. They die is their business, not mine.” Forget about your life, your friends, your self-care. When you have a soul mate, why would you need a life outside of the relationship?

3. “I am who I am. We are meant to be together.” Reveal everything, and test your partner with your worst behavior. Let it all hang out. After all, if this is truly your soul mate, he or she will love you no matter what.

4. “Sex is the right way to show our commitment for each other.” Have sex right away. If you are meant to be together for a lifetime, you might as well get started on the fun part right away.

5. “He or she will have to follow what I do or say.” Ignore anything about your partner that does not match with your values, lifestyle, or belief system. True love can conquer such insignificant differences.

6. “Let’s do a trial run.” Do lots of drama together. Job, family, and life crises are great ways to establish a relationship and test whether or not you are meant to be together.

7. “We should not be separated at all times.” Spend as much time together as possible. When it's true love, you can't bear to let your partner out of your sight. Who believes in “Absence makes the heart grows fonder”?

8. “That’s just a small mistake, it is ok for me.” Ignore behavior that crosses your boundaries or hurts your feelings. It's true love, so it's ok.

9. “I put in 100% of my love and I should get the same.” Lavish a huge amount of attention on your partner or expect a huge amount of attention to be lavished on you. How else would you act if you finally found your soul mate?

10. “This is how I want it.” Push the relationship forward and demand that it go deeper, in spite of where your partner is emotionally. You have the right to have the relationship be exactly how you want it to be and your soul mate owes you that.

Actually, there are only 4 simple rules in a good relationship. It is so simple that hardly anyone takes note of them. If you want some insurance that your new relationship has every chance of making it, here are the answers: Honesty, Communication, Clear about your needs and boundaries and be a good listener.

On the other hand, your relationship may end no matter what you do. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, some things are not within our control. But being in fear, it will actually make the end more likely. To eradicate this fear, let us be assured that the person you are with be THE RIGHT PERSON. Simply be with him or her one day at a time. Do not rush into a relationship immediately. Start as a friend to understand him or her more. If everything go on smoothly, to commit in the relationship is still not too late.

Life is full of barriers and the unexpected. Things that we expect to happen never turn out to be as expected. We ended up in depression and stress. Some even attempt to end their lives over simple things like breakups. Read the following rules that I follow quite regularly. Digest each one carefully and think about it for a second or two. It happens to us quite frequently but we just didn't take note of them at all. Thus, repeating the same mistake over and over again. Read further, it might just enlighten you that whatever that happen, happens with a reason.

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

In the present society, majority of the teenagers are like this…when they have found something that is newer, whether it is a human being or an item, they will totally forget about the older ones. When one goes shopping for sundries, surely he will choose something that is freshest and suit his taste bud. However, when it comes to romance and relationship, he tends to apply this in his approach for the better. Could he be thinking that who he met now could even be better than whom he met the previous week? The worst part of a relationship is that whom he has not met could be even better than who he is with now. In the end, not only will he hurt himself but also the person’s feelings towards him. Which type of person are you? Why not take the simple test below and find out more about yourself?

QUESTION:When you are having a vacation in Egypt, you saw something shining far away. What do you think it is?A. glassware B. jewel C. rubber toy D. tin can

ANSWER:

TYPE A: You are a person who will consider meeting up with another person is somewhat normal. You will take the person as a good buddy. Whether the person is your soul mate or not, you will not force the relationship and will let it comes naturally.

TYPE B: Due to some differences, you are not feeling rather pleased with your other half now. If you met up with someone else who has the same level of thinking, you might have some feelings of guilt now. Do not worry as you have no intention of changing to something better right now. Even though if it has happened, it is not something that you did on purpose with an intention.

TYPE C: You are really unhappy with your love life and wished that you are in the “Garden of Unhappiness” right now. In fact inside you, you are looking forward to an exciting and romantic relationship. Are you not having that feeling right now?

TYPE D: You are a person who has not even a thought of having a relationship. Even if you are having one now, you will feel that your other half has lost his or her glitters and attractiveness. To you, this is the end of the road as there is no longer a common topic in your daily conversation.. If you met someone you like right now, you will be serious to jump into this relationship immediately.

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