I am wife to "Stud" and mother to a 17 year old boy, "Cryptic". "Jock" is 14 and "Clown" is 10. Our only daughter, "Princess", is 9. This is just a place to talk about them and other aspects of my crazy life!!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

It takes all kinds!

First, before I begin my rant, I will show you all a photo of Princess from this morning. She is dressed for school, ready to make her very messy bed after a lovely night's sleep. Although how she can sleep with all those critters on the bed is beyond me! Apparently I was the same as a young girl, only I lined them all up between myself and the wall, concerned they may fall out of bed and get hurt! LOL

I got her that outfit last night at Costco for...get this...$14.99!! There are black velvet bows on the lower part of the jumper, HOW CUTE IS THIS!?!?!?

Jock was very annoyed when he saw it. They complain that I buy her too many clothes. Of course, all the times I go shopping and buy them all manner of clothes, no one notices she did not get anything. Let us also take note of the fact that Jock wears the same four shirts for weeks on end. He actually went to school yesterday in the shirt he slept in!!! He refuses to sleep in PJs anymore, which is fine. But then don't go somewhere in what you slept in!??!?! ARG!!! He has about 25 VERY NICE shirts and refuses to wear any of them. So talk to the hand, right?? SHEESH! Princess wears all of her clothes AND appreciates them!

As I mentioned in a comment, Brain was called out of class yesterday and they claim that he owes money for lunches he has not eaten. *sigh* So I need to go deal with that BS today.

The former President of our HSing group called me yesterday morning regarding her son's birthday party this coming weekend. She mentioned on the message that hopefully she would see me later at the school picture taking session. THANK GOD she called about the party and mentioned the photos because I had thought I was taking Clown on Thursday. This month is really getting away from me! I was sure the 18th was Thursday for some odd reason. Brain and Jock got their photos taken in August and Princess's are this coming Friday. So I need school pics for Clown also. Our HSing group always gets them done this time of year and our kids LOVE the guy who does it. Clown was so excited to see this man again and was telling me in detail what all the man said LAST YEAR! He remembers how the man said something and Clown did not catch what it was and then went on all about every word that they exchanged. He was hopeful that he may get a comb again this year.

Anyway, when we got there, I thanked my friend who had called for reminding me of the photos, or I would have shown up on Thursday. She gave me a look that was kind of...I dunno. Like she took pity on me or something. She said she was sure I needed a reminder. She knows what is going on with Stud and I and knows I am not happy with the kids being in public school. Not to mention I am known for being pretty spacey anyway:) It is so nice to have friends who care and can understand when you are going through rough times.

So another friend and I planned to meet for lunch at McDonald's after the photos. We were having a great time and her two boys and Clown and Princess were playing nicely, as they often do. We seldom have any issues with these kids playing together. Of course, I have been told many times how well behaved my kids are and how people like for theirs to play with mine. Especially if Jock is not around. I hate to say it, but that boy...UGH. Anyway, all was well.

Her 12 year old came and sat with us and seemed sad. We asked him what was wrong and he said a woman kept on mentioning to him that she thought he was too old/big to play in the play land. First of all, the kid is small for 12. Secondly, any age can go in there. I have been annoyed before when huge 200 lbs 18 years olds are goofing off in there and swearing and stuff, but even then I don't do much but get my kids to come out or something.

Anyway, we told him not to worry and he has every right to go in there. He brightened right up and went back in with his 7 year old brother, Clown and Princess. They were all four hanging around in this one sphere like section that hangs out and over and was in clear view of us. They had been in there another five minutes or so, when we heard a little boy crying. My friend wondered if our kids had maybe been involved or something and soon this boy's mother came over to us, carrying her little 3 or 4 year old. He was crying and had his head buried in her shoulder. We looked up in the sphere and all four of our gang were still sitting in there, calmly talking to each other. She had brought this kid out of an entirely different section than where our kids had been.

Let me back track a bit. I can't stand situations like this when parents sit around oblivious to the havoc their kids are spewing out to all the other kids. That has happened before, and one of two things happen. If my kids have been picked on or abused in any way, and I go to confront the parents they either:

1. Do like myself and say, "I am so sorry! I will go check into it immediately. Thanks for bringing this to my attention!" This has only happened about twice in my almost 14 years of parenting, that I have had the need to do that. Normally, I am so in there and involved I know every move my kids make. Now, as they are older, I can step back more and there is not as much need to be involved.

OR

2. Instantly deny that their kid could POSSIBLY have anything to do with anything AT ALL. I can't STAND that attitude. Both my friend and I yesterday were completely open to the idea that our kids had done something. As perfect and wonderful as our kids are, we have to be realistic that they are human and do mean selfish things. Come on, they ARE kids after all.

So this woman had a look on her face like she had had enough of something and was finally going to speak up and could not take it anymore. Besides her two little kids, there were two other adults in the play area. A single woman who was not with any kids and a man with his two little kids. We had had no complaints, and thought everything was going just fine. Right when she came over to us, I was prepared for some venom. I know that look. I have had that look! I was thinking "What on earth did the kids do?? Our kids must have done SOMETHING, but they have been sitting up there calmly for a LONG TIME."

My friend and I were clucking our tongues over this poor little hurt boy and right as I was about to ask what happened to him and would he be okay, she started in.

"YOU TWO NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

As I was trying to ask what happened and what they did, she kept on screaming. I remember thinking what a horrible example it was to send to her two kids with her. I have been LIVID about some kids doing something to my kids before, but I don't go around screaming about it. That is NOT the way to get sympathy and figure out what even happened.

I finally got in the question "What did they do??"

She kept screaming about them holding her son down and choking him, bashing his head into the side of the play structure, and something about a swear word. As she was screaming this, I was attempting to make the point that they had been in our sight for a LONG time, sitting in that one area and we had not seen anything of the sort. I was speaking calmly, and she was screaming. So I am sure she did not hear me.

We were stunned when she mentioned the swearing. Neither my friend and her husband or Stud and I swear. Our kids have heard some icky words as they get older. Out in public, in movies, etc. We have tried to shelter them from it as much as possible, but such is life. I found it interesting that when she mentioned the swear that our kids supposedly said, she SAID it, did not spell it. IF I ever have to speak of something like that with kids around, I spell it. Actually, I spell it even if I read it or have to say it out loud to someone! LOL I can't bring myself to say those words, and have never heard my friend utter them. So we were both dumbfounded. I know my heart skipped a beat at the thought of my kids possibly saying something like that. The word was...A-S-S.

She went on screaming and I asked her who it was who supposedly was doing these things. She said "The big one, in the striped shirt." Red flag. That was my friend's 12 year old, who had been so sad about some woman saying he should not be in there. I knew instantly she was the type who LOOKS for trouble and something to rant about and decided she had found it in my friend's son. As I said, I am totally open to the idea that my kids are not angels, and may do things they should not. Who am I kiddin!??! WILL and DO do things they should not. But we also know our kids inside and out and know what they are known for, what things we have to watch for, etc etc. This kid is as calm and sweet as they come. Maybe her kids have been bullied before by older kids and she is scared of them or something. But this guy is about the size of an average 10 year old and is very easy going. I would not have put it past Jock, if he had been there. But this kid? NO WAY.

So we called her son out and asked him what had gone on. His mother said this woman said that HE had said this word. He looked totally shocked and then was thinking and then said..."Oooohhhh." He thought perhaps when he had said "But..." something the kids thought he meant "butt" and translated it to the A word. Later, we discovered that they had been talking about passwords and maybe the little boy only heard the "ass" part of "password" and misunderstood or something. Since it is pretty clear he is familiar with that word, that is highly possible. Another theory, which I think is more likely, is that her son was trying to say "password" to her and since she was looking for a reason to cause trouble or dislike my friend's son, she heard "ass". This is totally the type of person she seemed like.

By now of course, the manager had heard all the commotion and came to check it out. I looked to a customer near me and asked her if she had seen anything our kids were doing and we missed it. She raised her eyebrows toward the ranting mother and shrugged her shoulders and whispered something about "Don't worry about it. Your kids were fine." I looked over to the Dad who was there and he was looking at me and basically did the same thing. Gave me a look like "Whatever. Try to ignore her." I feel SO BAD for that woman's kids.

By now, she was jerking her kids all over and yelling loudly "WE ARE LEAVING!" I said something about wait a minute, if our kids did something, we need to deal with it. Let's get this sorted out. She ignored me and was huffing and jerking her poor kids all over to get their shoes on. Her little girl was looking very sad and confused and looked toward our kids. I think I even saw our kids looking sad and waving from in there, they were all confused.

We asked them about what she said about them bashing the kid around. Turns out, the kid kept on hitting them and jumping on Clown's tummy. He had been stepping on their stomachs and had been jumping on and climbing all over them. Clown asked him to stop and he wouldn't, so he DID finally push him to get him off. Clown said his head hit the side of the tube or something and then the kid went away and shortly after they heard him crying. They say that is the only thing they can think of and Clown felt bad, but the kid would not leave them alone and just play nicely. He said no one came close to choking or anything.

As the woman was jerking her kids around, the manager was talking to my friend and I. We were saying how we wanted to get it sorted out, but all she did was yell and us and was now ignoring us. So the manager went over and was talking to the woman for a few minutes. This was when the other customers and I were communicating through looks and stuff and then my friend and I were saying how we sure wish we could get this sorted out and our kids will be reprimanded if they did anything at all. The other kids that had been there were looking as confused as our kids and this woman's kids.

The manager came over to us and was rolling her eyes and said basically not to worry the woman was leaving now and seemed to be over reacting, she was sorry it had happened.

So that was quite an exciting lunch time! I feel SO BAD for that woman's kids though. What a life they will have if she continues on this way. I am sorry that Clown pushed her little boy, if she had stayed, we could have sorted it out. But she refused. I am sure if we told her that her son had been jumping on them, she would have denied that, even though she would have no idea. Not that it made it right for CLown to push her son, but you know what I am saying, eh??

Alright, this has taken too long. Just wanted to vent and share that odd experience. I need to post soon about issues with Jock and the drama with Stud's motorcycle.

4 comments:

I'm glad you have a realistic idea about what kids (yours and others) are capable of. Your approach of trying to work it out and TALK about it was the right one. It's unfortunate that there are parents out there who just leap to conclusions and do what they think is defending their children. You're right - what does this teach their kids? That yelling and stomping out is some kind of resolution? What a disservice to her own children.

What an adventure! I'll be the first to admit my kids are no angels, but as you do, we keep an eye on them and reprimand them if they are not behaving properly. This woman has issues. In a situation like that, if my kid were crying, first I'd get them calmed down and then get thier story. AND I'd ask what they were doing, cause most kids don't just start beating up on another kid at that age.

Yes, was very sad, really. I just am so sad when I witness things like that. As we found out, it WAS one of my kids who had done something and made her son cry. Her son was a lot younger and did not understand the "game" our kids were trying to teach and play with them about passwords, etc. Instead of finding that out, she assumed the worst. And there are many more out there just like her:( Makes me wonder what is going on her in life to cause her such anger and everything. I tell my kids the same thing when kids act out...instead of judging and getting upset, you have to wonder what is going on in their personal life. It is like Jock now, he is getting quite an attitude. A lot is his age, but I have to wonder how much is what he witnessed in SC and won't talk about, you know? He mentions things sometimes about his worries and concerns about our marriage. If has an effect and can come out in negative ways:(