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Author
Topic: Deletion of posts, or all personal information from all former posts (Read 21537 times)

this is the first post in 6 hours that helps me understand what went on here while I was on vacation.

PETER- I'd really like to thank you for putting that 48 hour thing into place without warning. As I grew more anxious as the days reading here went on , I went in to see if I still had body shots on that porn thread, so I could remove those pics. Those pics are used in dating websites as well, and some of those sites have my face pic.

I may be more paranoid about being "outed' by this CSI thing, but mind you, I live in New York. CSI:NY. Since I couldn't find a thread explaining what this CSI thing was about, and how it would pertain to the forums, I went to CBS.COM and right there, on page one, was a link to this forum. I'm not pleased. Of course, I don't own the site, and you guys can do as you please. But damn, I'd wish I'd been told.

As stated above, this was a relatively safe haven for me (as well as many others). As I become more comfortable with the fact that I'm living with HIV now, I changed my avatar to my own eye, not the generic choice. I posted some body shots in the porn thread, and temporarily posted a face pic. Thank God I removed that back then. Today, in the beginning of my catching up, I posted in my PR thread, and put up a pic, including my face, from the trip. Thankfully I was able to remove it as I kept reading. If not, all New York state and city CSI fans would likely have come across it.

All of those who think that someone who sees a pic in here will never be known to you, think again. TWICE, in the past 2 years, has someone approached me in a bar because they recognized my face pic on a dating (not sex only) site, and they even knew what town I lived in. Shit does happen. I would hate to leave this place. I've made some good friends here, and I enjoy most posters.

Of course the forums, the internet are open for all to see. But it was definitely a lot safer here before it got hawked on national TV as a place for fans of a TV show to come watch our lives.

Don't think there aren't a whole bunch of gay drama queens out there who wouldn't invite themselves in to see if they can see anyone they may know so they can find out who has HIV.

I suppose from here on in my posts will be quite generic. No longer will I say where I've been , where I'm going or what I'm really doing. This is pretty sad.

Peter, Tim, Ann, or Andy, if you please remove my pics in the porn thread, I would greatly appreciate it.

If I was worried about my parents, friends or co-workers finding out I was either gay and/or had HIV I'd not be posting pictures, travel plans and detailed biographies on line in the first place. I don't care what site we're talking about. I just don't get it.

I'm even OUT of the closet with everything with my family and I still don't put my picture out often on the internet, though I've sent it to people in PM's, simply because I don't like it being out there. It's like passing out fliers on a street corner I tell ya. Plus I was sexually stalked seven years ago by someone I met on line so I'm super aware of stuff like that. Totally feared for my life-- this guy was certifiably insane.

And trust me, I know what it's like to have to compartmentalize the HIV issue -- I did it for almost a decade. I can't imagine having gone on the internet back then and posting images of myself.

I'm sure anything horribly dire in that regards can be taken care of by a moderator.

Philly, if you had carefully read my post, you would have noticed where I stated that I was slowly getting more comfortable with my status, and being the place this WAS, I was getting braver, hence the pics. Maybe you can get it now? If someone recognises me on a gay dating site, all well and good, because they'd also be gay. If not, and they approached me, I get to inquire as to why the hell they were looking there in the 1st place. Same scenario for this HIV site. But now, you're average CSI NY fan can see me. I didn't sign up for that.

You did post a link to your vacation pics, and I do believe you're standing in one of them.

And I hope you're right. I will PM the moderators, and ask them to remove those pics.

One more clarification: privacy issue and rights/respect/control issue. The two are related, but I started this thread about the second, not the first.

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Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

PeterUmm this suddenly implemented time limit thing for editing posts was a bit surprising and isn't sitting too comfy with me.

Isn't it taking all control of what we say and how we feel about what we say out of our hands? Many people's moods change from day to day - whether it be from hormones, drugs, meds, drink, circumstances or just being plain old moody. People also often have a change of heart, sometimes from regret, afterthought, fear or whatever. Doesn't this time limit rule take away our right to have second thoughts about what we post and our right to change what we post? Am just thinking, not all members have the opportunity to come on every day or every 2 days or so to check the forums or to readdress what they may have written.

Incidently, shouldn't this new rule have been made public to members in a new thread? I only became aware of it through this thread in Off Topic: http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=9167.0 and then by chance when I read your post quoted above.

With respectMelia

« Last Edit: February 18, 2007, 05:29:01 AM by sweetasmeli »

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/\___/\ /\__/\(=' . '=) (=' . '=)(,,,_ ,,,)/ (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Melia, you are given 48 hours to modify your post. I don't see anything wrong with what Peter enacted. The likelihood that you are going to change something in your post after 2 days is remote. If you are embarrassed about something you posted, it will be to late anyway, everyone has already read it.

I'm just glad I saw this coming and pulled all my kids pics and other personal pics down yesterday!!! Whew (wipes brow)... That be a close one Uncle Tom!!

I'm going to go check out AC in KC's wedding pics now.... I like weddings they make me all warm and fuzzy inside...

I pulled that link weeks ago. And added the caveat that I would happily send it to those who wanted it. I still would have no problem if it had remained up for the world to see. I am out to VERY few people. But I realize what I get into with the internet.

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LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

Thank you for clarifying that for me. As a victim of child sexual abuse I am of the opinion to protect children at all costs especially in light of some of these shows recently. No telling what freaks are after your children.

I understand the online family as well, but my suggestion would be to share those photo's via PM or email and not risk exploiting them anywhere online that someone could figure out private information.

My own neice became the naive victim of an online stalker who found their family address. The whole thing escalated out of control and he ended up making threats against my neice and sister. He even went so far as to apparently dedicate a website to her and stole her pictures off her profile and it was a serious nightmare and scared the crap out of them for several months. Just as a warning people can often get your name and address from a yahoo email which is how he got theirs I'm assuming.

Don't be dumb. If you're worried about someone finding you out, then don't use your personal information...don't use your pictures. It's not hard. Just takes a little brainpower. I could really give a flying f' about who knows I come on here. I understand that some people have to be more descrete...but that's your beef not mine. I have no problem with the time limit. It's a bit of tough love. Now if you go to post your address or something equally as revealing, you might think twice. It may just help you on other sites too. Think twice YA'LL.

Anyway.

My address is......6969 Hot Bod Ave.Sweetiepie, MI 49101

My phone number is 1-800-JEN-BABES

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"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "-Bette Midler

Exactly..to be on the safe side no matter WHAT site you are on, send most PERSONAL things via email or pm. But thats how I was taught to use the internet no matter what site is used years ago. It's not rocket science. You can still get plenty of support on here and information without revealing personal information and or pictures via the forum. That can be done in a pm. Again..it is a choice.

In December, 2005, I was wrestling with post-Katrina stress disorder and severe depression. For inexplicable reasons I edited the contents of about 50 - 75 recent posts, leaving them virtually blank. After the cloud ascended somewhat I felt like an idiot and thought the best action would be to ask the mods to delete my user (which would delete all of my posts). My foolish impulse left gaps in threads which made them incomprehensible to a new reader. To delete all of a prolific poster's messages will have the same effect on this forum, especially if several people make the request.

I understand the feelings of those concerned about maintaining relative anonymity on AM. On that point I hope the mods will work with anyone who has posted pics or links to personal info or written identifying information in posts.

For the rest of us I don't understand what all the fuss is about. Unless you are worried someone who doesn't know your poz status will identify you due to the temporary influx of "interlopers" why are you concerned? Most of them will disappear soon. ANYONE can find you by googling the right term and that has been the case since creation of the forum.

As far as the TOU vs. the TOM I know I didn't see anything but the TOM when I joined but took the TOU for granted. I've never joined a web community that didn't have the right to use my posts/pics/artwork/etc. for any purpose. Somewhere in all the legalese there is a paragraph or two about the site's rights to use content. I pity the site which looks to me for publishable material, unless it's a deviant psychology text or the like.

If anything I've posted is reproduced and someone else profits (right...) I just have to live with it. For all I know some of my brilliant gems are in print and someone is making a handsome profit as I type. I seriously doubt it, though.

Also, I don't think anyone gives up the right to use her/his posts in another format (e.g., magazine article, book, etc.) but I may be wrong. S+S doesn't have exclusive rights to my added content, does they?

Boo

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String up every aristocrat!Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!

Contrary to the 5-10 posters who continually post throughout the day, many others have realized, (thanks to all the rocket scientists), that they can't post about what they're doing , where they're going or where they've been.

Yes, we NOW all have to think twice about what we say. Will make for interesting conversations.

No one is talking about giving out their address or phone #. In the course of many posts, over a period of time, it can be figured out whereabout someone lives and , if seen by someone who already knows the person, they can be figured out.

I really don't understand why some of you can't see that. But then again, I guess I can see why.

EDITED, (BOO posted`)

Quote

Unless you are worried someone who doesn't know your poz status will identify you due to the temporary influx of "interlopers" why are you concerned?

That's EXACTLY my concern. I have decided my family doesn't need to know at this point. I've also decided every gay Tom, Dick , and Harry in my area doesn't need to know my status.

I'm not pissed because the forums will have more new people. But these new people are not HIV + people, they're just nosey neighbors.

I'd politely disagree on the nosey negative neighbor comment. This isn't the only HIV site and if people really wanted to they'd probably go look up on Positive personals sites. I don't know about your family, but I can't imagine mine being on here.

There are already negative people on here whether they have a loved one with HIV or are an activist.

Some are just people who've had what they consider a scare or what not. They've been here all along.

Yes, we NOW all have to think twice about what we say. Will make for interesting conversations.

Longislander, I think your situation is unique if one assumes CSI:NY is popular with NYC natives so more people from your geographic location may be here, but I'm not sure the assumption is correct. I think I've seen a couple of posts from people in NY but the posts were in CSI:NY only.

Quote

No one is talking about giving out their address or phone #. In the course of many posts, over a period of time, it can be figured out whereabout someone lives and , if seen by someone who already knows the person, they can be figured out.

I really don't understand why some of you can't see that. But then again, I guess I can see why.

I realize someone could "put the pieces together" and recognize, or think they recognize, a forum member, but how many such revealing posts have you made? With millions of people in NYC I think the chances someone could clearly identify you would be small, but I don't really know. Like I said, I hope the mods will work with anyone who has such concerns and remove pics or other personal info you posted.

I understand your situation and realize the forum seems less comfortable than it was before. Don't you think most of the CSI:NY members will leave after the story finishes? At this time the forum may seem less safe but I truly believe we'll return to "normal" in a short time.

I'd hate to lose you as a member because of this issue.

Boo

P.S. (edited because I saw LI's edited response to my previous post) I see clearly why you are concerned, LI, and hope you have nothing to truly worry about, but in your shoes I'd feel the same. Again, I hope the mods will help you edit posts which you are worried about. I believe most of the CSI:NY members will quickly fade away and hope once they leave you feel safe again. Also, just a thought -- how many people will want to wade through 13 pages of posts in the porn thread? Unless your revealing posts are on or near the first page I'd think you'd be pretty safe but that's conjecture...

« Last Edit: February 19, 2007, 01:56:42 PM by Boo Radley »

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String up every aristocrat!Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!

Boo, you're not going to lose me as a member. I love this place. I just have to be very careful from here on in. I did post a thread about my vacation last week, and everyone I work with and know , know where I went. But that thread is or already has dropped to page 2.

Secondly, you're posts of late have literally had me jumping out of my deskchair, rolling on the floor with laughter!!

BTW, I'm kinda popular here in my area!!

BTW, Peter has very graciously , but with sadness, removed my body shots from the porn thread. I'm saddened you guys can't see me either, as I love that thread!

(1) The drastic action I suggested in my original post had little to do with privacy (I know about the Internet etc etc) and much more about certain rights. Certain rights and protections I feel strongly about, as is my prerogative; others don't, and that certainly is theirs.

(2) If we come to the question of trust... I do not trust media houses to hold my best interests at heart. (A recent, very close, case in point being CBS and le egregious Zuiker. I'm not some ultra-leftist anti-corporation fanatic. But, intentions aside, the "bottom line" is perhaps always going to be, What's the entertainment value, How many viewers/readers/listeners, How does this generate revenue growth?) And and I do not trust extremely sweeping language that doesn't have some protective clauses. Even if I trust Peter et al, and Peter et al trust S+S or CDM execs or whoever else, trust is not necessarily "transmitted" or "filtered down" that way.

I talked of future possibilities. And that doesn't have to mean next year but even a decade or more from now. The moderating team might have changed, for all sorts of reasons; the very ownership of the corporation(s) controlling/owning all this "material" might have changed. What then? Perhaps nothing. Equally possibly -- something. In whatever media, remember. Without so much as a by your leave. Some people don't care about that. Fine. Others do. (Picture me as a comic Cassandra in drag. )

(3) For the many reasons that many have pointed out, in this thread and others, the 48-hour time limit is, IMHO, just plain wrong. I am amazed that Ann thought six hours should be the limit. I suppose advance notice couldn't be given -- because then people would have been scrambling to delete lots of stuff.

Leaving many of threads genuinely incomprehensible. And genuinely do I understand that fear.

What I have to suggest then, to quote Boo: "I understand the feelings of those concerned about maintaining relative anonymity on AM. On that point I hope the mods will work with anyone who has posted pics or links to personal info or written identifying information in posts."

Highly selective deletion then (which would leave virtually all threads comprehensible). On an individual case-by-case basis. Headachey, but the decent thing to do. Because I simply do not buy the contention, "You've made your verbal bed, now lie in it!" That, to me, is callous.

(4) On the question of forum vandalism or betrayal. Let me quote a famous phrase of E.M. Forster's: "If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country." When individual rights are sacrificed -- as I believe in these cases they have been -- for group interests, I am immediately suspect. I do not think any long-term good comes out of it. That's where I'm coming from. (I know I'll probably be dismissed for being too high-falutin or making grandiose comparisons.)

I hope I don't write many more posts about all of this. I said recently that I'm happy to sound like a broken record about this; but today I'm a-weary and have lots of other things to attend to (see, we're changeable that way). It just seems, right now anyway, that all that has to be said on this, by me anyway, has been said -- said too many times even.

Jay

« Last Edit: February 19, 2007, 08:28:01 PM by lydgate »

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Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

What me and some others want -- a revision of some sections of the TOS -- seems precisely what's not going to happen. A revision that would give back to the HIV-positive individual posting here the ethically correct right to his or her own words and life stories. Either in the form of (1) giving copyright back outright, or (2) some form of legally binding statement/reassurance that no "material" will be used, ever, without the individual's express permission.

And and I do not trust extremely sweeping language that doesn't have some protective clauses

For the many reasons that many have pointed out, in this thread and others, the 48-hour time limit is, IMHO, just plain wrong.

Highly selective deletion then (which would leave virtually all threads comprehensible). On an individual case-by-case basis. Headachey, but the decent thing to do. Because I simply do not buy the contention, "You've made your verbal bed, now lie in it!" That, to me, is callous.

From the above it sounds like you desire:

(1) Modifications to the TOU, TOS, TOM or TOTO whatever (I'm getting dementia from all this) (1a) Protective clauses, warnings, disclaimers, yadda yadda(2) Editing ability regardless of age of post OR (2a) the right to request an edit/deletion via Moderator

Are these the four things you desire? If you've got more, I suggest you put together a Power Point presentation. Use flowcharts, colors, animation if necessary. That's what's done in corporate America (and I'm being totally serious)

What me and some others want -- a revision of some sections of the TOS -- seems precisely what's not going to happen. A revision that would give back to the HIV-positive individual posting here the ethically correct right to his or her own words and life stories. Either in the form of (1) giving copyright back outright, or (2) some form of legally binding statement/reassurance that no "material" will be used, ever, without the individual's express permission.

And and I do not trust extremely sweeping language that doesn't have some protective clauses

For the many reasons that many have pointed out, in this thread and others, the 48-hour time limit is, IMHO, just plain wrong.

Highly selective deletion then (which would leave virtually all threads comprehensible). On an individual case-by-case basis. Headachey, but the decent thing to do. Because I simply do not buy the contention, "You've made your verbal bed, now lie in it!" That, to me, is callous.

From the above it sounds like you desire:

(1) Modifications to the TOU, TOS, TOM or TOTO whatever (I'm getting dementia from all this) (1a) Protective clauses, warnings, disclaimers, yadda yadda(2) Editing ability regardless of age of post OR (2a) the right to request an edit/deletion via Moderator

Are these the four things you desire? If you've got more, I suggest you put together a Power Point presentation. Use flowcharts, colors, animation if necessary. That's what's done in corporate America (and I'm being totally serious)

Alex this reeks of snide dismissiveness, and maybe I'm being over-sensitive but deliberate hurtfulness. The quotes are taken from two different threads and divorced from the sometimes subtle context in which they were written. I'm also not crazy about the implication you make (here and in another thread) that I'm an unreasonable "I want this, I want that, Everything has to suit me" type. Which is your portrayal. If these requests, yadda yadda, seem unreasonable to you please at least provide a civil response explaining why, rather than this.

A puzzled and somewhat concerned Jay

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Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

I worked in corporate America for a full decade and when things got hairy Microsoft Power Point saved the day in most cases

If you want to add subtleties to a Microsoft PP presentation, it will allow you to do so!

Edited to add: You wouldn't believe how fast and effectively Microsoft PP can clear the air. Okay, fine, you hate the suggestion. Sheesh

And I know your quotes came from 2 different threads. I'm asking you to have mercy on us and propose all the desires into one consolidated treatise because you're all over the place. N.B.: I said "the" desires, not "your" desires cuz I know it's *not* all about you (see reply #85)

Also, I don't think anyone gives up the right to use her/his posts in another format (e.g., magazine article, book, etc.) but I may be wrong. S+S doesn't have exclusive rights to my added content, does they?

No one has answered this question although it may be irrelevant to Jay anyway. If you collected your posts to AM and published them in serial or bibliographic form would S + S have the right to sue you for copyright infringement? Again, maybe that's not even an issue but I don't know that you give up your right to use your material by giving S + S the right to use it...

Jay, I guess I don't understand your objection to potential future use of AM posts in another format/medium. First, I think it highly unlikely anyone will ever do such a thing, but even if it occurred wouldn't the publication be comparable to an anthology or, more accurately, collected oral history? If such a collation was useful to the general public or newly diagnosed people or whomever wouldn't you be satisfied with your contribution? You're not worried about someone making a mint from AIDSmeds posts, are you? If so, do you really think it's likely to occur?

I don't know if there is a backup somewhere but just last week Peter deleted the entire archive of the old forums, didn't he? I imagine that's what will eventually happen to our posts. The old forums might have been a valuable resource for anyone doing research on the history of HIV in the USA but they were gone in an instant, and our posts are as ephemeral. They will be around for a few years and with a software change will be too cumbersome to carry over to the next best thing and, voila, disappear. That may not reassure you now but I sincerely believe it will happen.

Boo

P.S. I'm going to watch Spike Lee's When the Levees Broke and have a good cry...

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String up every aristocrat!Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!

Boo, as for the potential use -- I'd be happy if my posts or anyone's posts were used to benefit the cause of HIV/AIDS. If I haven't made that clear, I should do so now. If I had copyright, I would grant use (if I deemed fit). If I don't have copyright but still some rights in terms of my permission being asked, I would grant that permission (if I deemed fit).

But circumstances can change (my health; what I don't consider "sensitive" today but might later; ownership; a whole laundry list of things).

What disturbs me is that I don't have to be asked about this, anthology, oral history, musical, or whatnot.

That's paranoia? Which is, ah, treatable. I would never have known that.

Over-cautious maybe. And past experiences, to remain unspecified, have made me that in certain areas.

At any rate no one has yet answered your question or many of mine. (And your very interesting SECOND question about what if I published my posts here in a pamphlet or whatever, which I might, with reasonable intentions, want to do -- am I liable for infringing S+S's copyright? It would seem so, unless I got "clearance" from them.) Wait and see I guess. World is still turning. I suppose the feverish activity in the two forums I recently started will die down soon enough. But some answers, responses, eventually anyway, would be nice.

Apologies to Alex for miscontruing your color-coded reply.

And now I must eat ice cream and watch TV.

Jay

« Last Edit: February 19, 2007, 11:27:15 PM by lydgate »

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Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

Thank you for clarifying that for me. As a victim of child sexual abuse I am of the opinion to protect children at all costs especially in light of some of these shows recently. No telling what freaks are after your children.

Whatnotly,

I've read a study that some children think they deserve the abuse they get. While I thought it sick, I think it had you in mind..

Ohhhh Whatnotly you're half the man I'll ever be in this regard.... especially at my worst!!

Whatnotly,

I've read a study that some children think they deserve the abuse they get. While I thought it sick, I think it had you in mind..

Place your bets folks... this one will be a KO !!!!

To be honest in my personal case I did feel responsible in some way or that is was my fault that I'd been sexually abused. That is why I never reported it as a child. I was also a rape victim and I'm sure you will find that absolutely hysterical in your deluded mind.

You have followed me around and it's evident from all of your posts. Anyone can take a look and see all of your idiotic trash by looking at your posts. You contribute nothing to this site and guess what. I'm not a little kid anymore and I'm not afraid to tell. So, yes, I did report you for this!

Yes Whatnotly your jackass opinions don't sit well with this man who lost his father to a war that did not make sense.... You can cry victim all you want, but your assholish ways have rubbed many here wrong... trust me on that because I have the PM's to prove it. I will tell you this much you little sniveling piece of crap.. I will take 30 days for you... Talking about a man's nephew who died? You are the lowest of low and to think you talk about going to far?!?!