Anyone know if we have a presence (His omnipresent Noodliness accepted) in Jerusalem yet?

I've twice watched a documentary: 'Battle For The Holy Land: Jerusalem'* in recent days. Itâ€™s over an hour and a half of perfect illustration in the futility and virtual blindness to reality coming as a direct consequence of a delusional population living for their respective non-entities. It was exasperating to such an extent that I was tempted to join the Jews in banging my head against a brick wall!

Then suddenly I saw the answer. FSM Whatâ€™s needed is for Pastafarians to put in a claim for the city too. Just as the Israelites, the Palestinians and the Greek Orthodox Christians are proclaiming exclusive and unyielding rights to some â€˜holyâ€™ real-estate â€“ and even to the city itself, the Flying Spaghetti Monster also needs its theists claiming a sector/equal rights/access to a hilltop-where-His-Noodliness-once-decided-was-the-place-to-be-when-we-want-to-discuss-Him.

OK, so I canâ€™t say Iâ€™d be the first to volunteer but jeepers, if there was ever anywhere that was in more desperate need of secular governance and an overnight evaporation of faith than Jerusalemâ€¦

* Available free from Channel4.com (just for this week I think) but be warned. 4OD (C4 on demand) needs to install its own plugin for Windows Media Player and they require an email address to register too. However, the presenter/interviewer asks many of the right questions and in my book itâ€™s British journalism at its best â€“ despite his being a theist, therefore incapable of seeing the whole picture himself.

Please bare with me folks, but Iâ€™m beginning to think Iâ€™m really on to something important here. I know Iâ€™m a new boy who should be making the tea etc. but what Iâ€™m proposing is a radical scaling up of the CotFSM project to focus on attacking the heart of religion in the world on an international, intergovernmental and UN scale â€“ by making a claim for Jerusalem and the â€˜holyâ€™ sites.

The case Iâ€™ll attempt to make here is that in essence, the problem is the same as the school educational policy in Texas. Itâ€™s not that Iâ€™m at all belittling the importance of the Kansas School case but the stakes and the scale this time are in another league. Thereâ€™s no doubt itâ€™s an immensely long shot, but there would be no bigger prize than to get the thinking people of the world to see how ridiculously the factions in Jerusalem are behaving and to treat them accordingly. It could even be the 1st domino that virtually wipes religion off the planet, just leaving backwaters and impotent pockets of faithful.

So:
â€¢ By hitting Jerusalem, weâ€™d be hitting three major world faiths in one, thus making impossible any accusation weâ€™re anti-one-faith-in-particular.
â€¢ There are no established jurisdiction boundaries, no single government body to deal with nor, consequently, any constitution to appeal to. But:
â€¢ There are people all over the world having strong affiliations with all the quarrelling factions.
â€¢ Iâ€™m not naive enough to think if the Palestine problem is sorted, that the likes of Bin Laden would say â€˜thanks a lotâ€™ and get a job, but it would be one less excuse for boys to be blowing themselves up, thus making the world safer.
â€¢ If it got to a stage where the time was ripe, there are a significant number of extremely powerful politicians who would like the credit for sorting out the Middle East. If we managed to get the groundwork done, getting them to finish the job wouldnâ€™t be hard.
â€¢ Whatâ€™s required is for it to be a normal and accepted opinion amongst thinkers world-over (especially those with affiliations in Jerusalem) that the regarding of holy sites as sacrosanct, the belief that what your god or prophet said gives you privileges over your neighbours is just plain silly. And significantly, that the attitude when talking with these people is such that ridiculous statements are not given credulity or skirted around not to offend, but are dismissed accordingly.
â€¢ For this to happen there needs to be a massive campaign to persuade religious people that theyâ€™re better off protected by secular governance. In other words, that a well written constitution from secular ethics can give them better protection and more freedom to practice whatever (other than abuse) than any faith state. This needs to be taught as much in the US and UK too. Itâ€™s easy for us to see and rightly criticise the non-secular aspects of our governance and itâ€™s not hard for us to see how a purely secular constitution could work. Itâ€™s a much bigger jump from where these people are to accepting secularity as a value so we need to be aware of the gap and try and build that confidence at the same time as breaking down the rubbish. Weâ€™ve only got to look at what the Bush/Blair combo has done with Afghanistan and Iraq (by kowtowing to tribal/religious â€˜leadersâ€™ in writing their constitutions) â€“ and take a glimpse at the consequences â€“ to see why being unashamedly imperialistic about secular governance is the way forward.
â€¢ Itâ€™s certainly not an easy nut to crack but the beauty of it is, because itâ€™s a global issue, every politician from your representative to the UN Secretary General is a valid target. Every paper that is concerned about troops, rogue states and terrorism is a valid target. And thereâ€™s a good chance, with the ridiculousness of the situation being so obvious from the outside, and with the people weâ€™re working on being so far from the city in question that we can get a significant number of politicians and media on-side. Only when the people in Jerusalem realise the only issues being taken seriously are their rights as individuals, and that resorting to specious arguments results in ridicule, will they have to get off their high horses.
â€¢ And the method? The very same as our Prophet Bobby came up with for Kansas School. Pure genius ( Thank you good sire). Letters with the same story hitting politicians world-over. Taking it to the streets and to utube etc. Getting those ideas across without having to explicitly state that what people believe is bullshit. Using humour and pirate suits to make it very difficult for the situation to get heated and dangerous (mind you, weâ€™d all have to be careful â€“ because weâ€™d make some very serious enemies).
â€¢ Of course the essentials of the story would need to be established beforehand and maybe one letter (from Bobby to Ban Ki-moon?) to kick it all off. The design of the logos for it would have to be strong enough to put the message across but not deliberately over-antagonistic otherwise some of us will end up being hit with a brick in the back of the head whilst walking down the street! E.g. I like the idea of a picture depicting FSM over the â€˜Temple Mountâ€™ stating/showing Him making it a Holy shrine exclusively for Pastafarians. Please note, as Iâ€™d only heard/seen occasional references to FSM until a few days back, I wouldnâ€™t want to have a part in constructing the story to be congruent with the picture to date â€“ Iâ€™ll leave that to the Higher Order Pastafarians and go study my Gospel (actually, I need to order one first!)
â€¢ And one more bonus: If for whatever reason, whatâ€™s going on in Jerusalem seems too remote for you to want to get involved at first glace, consider this. It will be SOO much easier to get people at home to see how absurd the situation is there and once theyâ€™ve accepted that, itâ€™ll be much easier to get them to accept their own position is just as absurd even if the consequences are not so immediate

Anyway, Iâ€™d not be surprised if Iâ€™m not the first to suggest this. Itâ€™s a danger when Iâ€™ve only read a small proportion of the available material so if Iâ€™ve trodden on anyoneâ€™s toes, please accept my apology. Providing nobodyâ€™s taken offence from what Iâ€™ve written, itâ€™s been a good exercise for me. Please feel free to point out the holes if this idea wonâ€™t hold water. I did conceive of and write it without sleep â€“ itâ€™s morning now!

Barti Ddu

Edit: Just thought I should add that since posting (and sleeping!), Iâ€™ve read the FAQ and I acknowledge â€œFSMism is intended to protest attempts to include religion in science curriculum. We are in no way against religion itselfâ€¦â€. In that sense, the â€˜essenceâ€™ of the Texas School problem is not the same as what Iâ€™m proposing. Realizing this, I also recognize Prophet Bobb and the hard core of the Church is unlikely to want to get involved with the UN and Jerusalem issue. However, now that Iâ€™ve written it, I hope itâ€™s still OK to throw the ideas around in this thread as there are obviously some very astute thinkers floating about this forum. Itâ€™s not my intention to hijack your concept and to misrepresent it to my own ends.

I wore my FSM T-shirt in Tel Aviv and on the trip back. It was well received, many people in the airport complemented it. Same in Cairo. So there may be some support there. May His holy tendrils soon embrace the City on the Hill.