Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Is there anything wrong with me ??

Not sure where to start or if I really have a problem but let me start by resuming a bit my last 3 years ..... basically my ex girlfriend now, left me in September of last year. We have been togheter for 3 years and the relationship was not the best lets say, we were getting on each others nerves, I was always bitching that she was not get picking herself up and stuff like that plus there was not much passion in the bedroom lets say. Anyway she decided to leave saying that she loved herself too much to stay with me because I was not nice with her and she was afraid to miss out something better in her life. 2 weeks after she had another boyfriend and all and I was kind of insulted but ..... anyways. UIwanted her back and wanted to work on it but it happened to many times before that she didn't trusted that it would work. She said she would never come back with me. After like 2 months, i decided not to wait for her and go out and meet new people. I met this girl. my current girlfriend, she ask me out and i accepted, at first i wasn't sure about the whole situation but stayed friend with her after a few dates. Everytime we would hang out we had fun and liked doing the same things and all and I really loved her personallity and her beautiful smile and her sense of humor and etc ...... My ex was still talking to me once in a while and saying that she still loved me but she was happy and in peace with her decision. She was saying stuff like "can you really ger over someone" and stuff like that. All those things were kind of messing with my head lets say. Anyway after a few months of hanging out with my current girlfriend, I wasn't sure of things and wanted to get out of it a few times but always coming back cause I missed her and all. I didn't wanted to lose that girl because there was so much I liked in her ...... so after like 6 months I was always at her house, I decided to sell my house and move in with her. I had a hard time to let go of my old stuff but figured that it might happen someday anyways so I moved in and as we speak we are really in love one another and really care for each other. The only thing that bothers her is that she is scared I keep contact with my Ex becuase she says she the one who left and I wanted to works things out but not her. I am scared sometimes that I did not did it like it is suppose to be done and be single for a while before jumping into a relationship. I gave her my cat when I move becuase I couldn't bring in with me and kept her dog becuase she couldn't bring it with her hehehe kinda weird but the dog and the cat were living with us before just to clarify. Anyways sometimes I wonder if she is happy and why am I nicer with my current girlfreinid then I was with her and stuff like that. I care for her as a friend now and not as a lover but why do I always trying to analyse the past and think about it all the time. I always been like that, even with my previous relationships. Not sure if it makes sense or if I forget something but What do you think or if someone else in the same situation.

What you are going through is very normal. Your former girlfriend left you and you still had feelings for her.

Then you went into a new relationship before letting go of your previous relationship. That is why so many counselors advise that jumping into a new relationship is not good if in your own mind.. you've not emotionally ended the previous relationship.

In the past I've done this and I now see how unfair it is to the new person if you are still carrying baggage from the previous love interest.

If you are in a awesome relationship with your girl friend...You must be doing something right...

You prolly do still care about your Ex cos you had a close relationship with her...We don't just switch our feelings on &amp; off...but personally if I was in a relationship...I would not feel comfortable about my b/f questioning his feelings about his Ex...

Everyone has a past...but I would like my b/f to have resolved his past lol...

In my past experience, it's never been a good idea to maintain too close a relationship with an Ex. It might be best to put a little more distance between you and your ex-girlfriend. Your new girlfriend is always going to feel some insecurity about this. Just put yourself in her shoes. Would you feel good about it if her ex was calling and trying to keep close contact with her? And analyzing the things that went wrong in our previous relationships is a good thing. We learn what we did wrong so that we don't make these mistakes again. I hope everything works out for the best for you.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

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