Snake Wine

Iposted this on another forum, but thought you guys would get a kick out of it.

On Christmas day, 2005 while working in China, I was kinda down in the dumps since Christmas in China has about as much meaning as the 4th of July in Dubai. So my mother in law decided to make me the old family recipe – snake wine. Its tonic that is consumed in small quantities. It has to be aged for 2 years or they say it can kill ya.

Anyway We went to the stock yards. Me, my wife, mother in law and daughter..What an experience. They had pigs, cats, dogs, horses, chickens, geese and every other thing they eat over here, including snakes. I saw a lady buy a cat. The cat dealer takes the cat out of the cage, whacks it on the head with a stick, and puts in a bag and gives it to the lady. I was speechless.

There were 3 snake dealers. We visited one, but his price was too high, so we went off to the next dealer, and those weren’t the right kind of snakes (they were about 8 feet long, and in a big hole, and looked like pit vipers- copper head looking things). Dealer number 3, didn’t have the right kind of snakes either. Ma Ma was looking for something called "Past The Mountain Snakes."

So we went back to dealer number 1. We agreed on the price and he grabbed a crate, which relieved me, and I thought cool, they are in a crate so maybe they are dead. He pops the lid on the crate and out pop the snakes, and they spread their hoods. I thought hmmmmm, "Past the Mountain Snakes" means cobras. The dealer asked me, “do you want to grab the snakes or do you want me to?” I replied, "hey son, you go right ahead, I will watch".

Well it was the most hilarious thing. I'm watching the guy grab the snakes, my wife , mother in law, daughter are all close behind me. I'd lean in for a closer look (everyone would lean in- in unison). One of the snakes would hiss or spit, and we would all jump back in unison.

The dealer grabs the snakes, one by one and hits their heads on the concrete floor to stun them. I saw one of the snakes next to the guys ankle moving and told my wife, that guy is gonna get bit. My wife replied, “ Oh don’t worry, that guy has killed a lot of snakes. Those snakes are afraid him. I said, "yep, hes gonna be saying that in the ambulance, or somebodies gonna say it at his funeral " .

He breaks the tail and drains out the blood (snake blood spoils the wine). He throws them in a big jar (7 kgs of snakes) and covers them with 10 kgs of rice wine. I notice the 2 biggest snakes are still moving. In the bottle, and say,”hey those 2 aren't dead yet”

The guy replies- "don’t worry they will drown in the wine". . He wraps the jar up in cardboard. We all go back home. A few hours later my wife wants to see the snakes. I say honey, you cant drink the stuff for a year or two, just leave it wrapped up. Well, she was adamant about peeking at the snakes. So I unwrapped the jar, and the two biggest cobras are alive, heads above the wine, banging their heads on the lid trying to get out.

I said "Yikes! The buggers are still alive." I thought hmmmmm, they know I'm the reason they are in that jar. I'm thinking they are gonna escape and bite the crap out of me.

At that point, said photo below was taken, since I know most people ain't gonna believe I got a jar of wine with 4 dead and 2 live cobras in it.

I spent the next few hours shaking that bottle, so the wine went over those 2 snake heads. I didn’t go to sleep, until they were under that wine, motionless for 30 minutes.

That is awesome..
Cobra wine is not bad with roast cat. Oh my God, with no disrespect to the Oriental people.. People have not lived till they go too an Oriental market..
Not talking an all you can eat Chinese buffet here in the states, uh no..
If it moves, those people eat it. Hell if it don't move they eat it..
The roasted cockroaches or crickets were a hot seller.. They eat them like peanuts..
Almost, almost popped one in my mouth.. Few more beers I think I could have done it..

"Man needs but two things to survive alone in the woods. A blow up female doll and his trusty old AK-47" - Thomas Jefferson 1781

I'm back in the States, waiting for the M-38 mosin, the second K-31 and the p-64 to arrive. While I was a working in China 15 guns and multiple crates of ammo arrived. My wife complains the ranch looks like the army fort.

Upon investigating, and translating womenspeak to man speak that meant ....

"She went shopping for shoes yesterday and bought a pair. She bought the Manolo's instead of the Jimmy Choo's and SPENT 600 dollars"

But on the bright side she don't complain about how much money I spend on guns or crates of ammo.

Oh God, talking about eating food that moves, I was working in Korea in Yeosu once.

They took me out for Shushi.

Korean Shushi is alive.

They brought out a baby octopus, chopped off its it tentacles. I ate em, with a soju backer (potato liquor) to wash it down. Them darn tentacle suckers stuck on my throat , you could feel them stick, flip and wiggle all the way down to the stomach. And then there was the angry octopus head left, just a staring at you, but armless and could not do much about the situation.

Then we had fish, that was semi filleted but the fish was alive. Its eye was a moving all around while we were picking meat off it.

Don't even get me started on the sea cucumbers. I was pretty drunk by then, but noticed they kept crawling off the plate kinda slow if you took too long to eat them.

Sea worms, and then Fish Kimchi (which is a delicacy to them but basically rotten fish to us). Worst thing I ever ate in my life. The crap smelled like ammonia and was just awful. I gagged but ate 1 piece.

They said I did pretty good and was the only westerner that ever ate every dish. I couldn't wait to get back to China for some R&R (rice and ratmeat) and some sensible food like fried scorpions.

Montenyardrs loved roasted rat and fire cooked tarantula.. Took the hair off it, done, down the hatch.. Guy spots one, stopped us dead in our tracks.
Damn thing was about a foot wide, were ready to shoot it. One guy suggested a frag, we talked him out of that. Then a yard comes along, grabs the damn thing with his bare hands. Bravest man I eve saw in my life and thanks us, dinner.
You make it too Cambodia? My Bro is over there rolling money on real-estate like all get out.
We were going to buy a bar few years ago.. 25 grand.. We went back 75 grand.
Chinese, who have all the worlds money, are in their buying anything with a roof.. Hold six months sell..
Govt. took possession of all land 200 meters near any water.. Saving that for George Sorryos, and Donal Trump, I guess?
Beautiful country, corrupt as hell. I like it..

"Man needs but two things to survive alone in the woods. A blow up female doll and his trusty old AK-47" - Thomas Jefferson 1781

Just got back from the range. My wife took her CHL class/test today and passed with flying colors. Perfect score on the shooting test. The instructor was amazed. I said I had her shooting a 4 inch diameter spinner, and she could hit every time at 15 yards, so hitting that target in the 8-ring or better was no problem for her.

Her target below (she saved it and is real proud)

Tarantulas, Geez. I never had to eat one of those yet.

I never made it to Cambodia yet . I almost had to go there for work but it fell through. I did work alot in Nam in 07 & 08. I spent some time in Buon Me Thuot (Central highlands) not too far from the Cambodian border. Best darn coffee I ever drank and fried chicken I ever ate in my life.

The chickens ran around through the little restaurant (for lack of a better term) and you pointed at the one you wanted and they grabbed it, killed it, plucked it, gutted it and fried it. Now that's fresh!

Them darn chickens knew what was going on too. When a large group came in for dinner, they would head for the hills.

kernel.. Yup that looks like their menus.. Just point at the picture, they go out back and start hacking the poor thing up..
For a few extra yang money, they let you kill the poor thing.. Fresh is the key here. If it moves its food..

"Man needs but two things to survive alone in the woods. A blow up female doll and his trusty old AK-47" - Thomas Jefferson 1781