Relationship Counselling

Couples counselling is considered to be one of the more challenging areas of work because of the complexity of the dynamic. However, the rewards are considerable. Coaching couples in communicating their needs more effectively, identifying their strengths and vulnerabilities more honestly and managing their conflicts more respectfully and productively - whilst helping them hold the sacred space of relationship - is intense. Perhaps it is from this area of work that the term, '.....going where angels fear to tread...' was first coined.To be in intimate relationship appears to be a fundamental human need for the vast majority of people, yet we so often struggle. Escalating divorce rates, increased applications for domestic violence orders and backlogs in the family law courts all bear testament to that struggle and yet we persist! Having a therapist who has an extensive knowledge of couples dynamics and practical experience in facilitating change has led to positive outcomes for many couples who were brave enough to embark on this journey of self and other awareness.

My approach to relationship counselling is dependent upon what a couple seems to require most at the time that they first seek help. The approach changes over time as the couple begins to make positive changes in old patterns of behaviour. The idea that couples "train each other up" in certain behaviours, both positive and negative, is explored as individuals begin to look at how they have developed their particular relationship dynamic. Words such as "Fault" and "Blame" are discouraged due to their obstructive and negative application. Replaced in favour of terms such as 'personal responsibility' and 'co-creation'.

The Myers Briggs Personality Inventory is often employed to create better understanding of individual differences and how these can be misinterpreted in the crucible of relationship. Strategies for coping better with relationship challenges are made explicit and homework encouraged. Sessions are instructional, educational, supportive and quite often humorous as common pitfalls in relationship are exposed and more useful techniques developed.