Dealing with Loneliness | 5 tips to help you get through

‘It’s almost amazing how I can feel so lonely with so much happening for me and around me. But yet at the same time, I cry myself to sleep, just wanting someone to love me for me, not to have hidden agendas but just be honest and truthful. My heart aches. I have cried every night for the last three months. I think of my life and wonder who will miss me if I go….’

Many people suffer in silence. Although most people feel lonely at one stage in their life, it is not openly spoken about and if it is, you usually hear, ‘you will get over it’, ‘it is just a phrase’, ‘it is well’. Intense feelings of loneliness can lead to depression and even suicidal thoughts, which is why we can’t just ignore the elephant in the room. Loneliness can come in different shapes and sizes such as the feeling of isolation from people even from God. Loneliness can be sadness over a lack of friends, or a partner. Loneliness can also be a feeling of abandonment. We are social beings and we thrive on relationships and feeling loved.

Can Christians feel lonely? Yes, they can. We go through those periods where we are waiting for an answer and all we are hearing is silence. Loneliness can start to creep in.

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HOW TO DEAL WITH LONELINESS

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Speak to someone who you know will listen to you, and encourage you without judging you. Someone that listens and understands. Suffering in silence will not help you, in fact, it may make things worse. A problem shared is a problem halved or even resolved.

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In a world full of distractions, it can seem as though everyone is living, while you are barely hanging on. Take a step away from Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, Periscope and other forms of social media and focus on building your life. What dreams do you have that you have never pursued? What hobbies do you have that you are good at? Why not start actively pursuing them and putting your efforts into them. You may get the chance to meet new people with similar interests. Actively look for courses, meet ups, networking events where you improve your interpersonal skills and just surround yourself with new people.

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Write down your feelings. It is somewhat therapeutic to write down your thoughts and feelings. When I was in a difficult stage in my life, I used to write everything down. Now, I look at them and it reminds me of how far I have come, not only in my age, but mentally and emotionally.

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Do good for others. Go out and help someone in need, volunteer in a homeless shelter, take part in activities in your community. All these things can help you to see the bigger picture about life, and helps you to shift your focus from your problems and focus on helping others. The action of helping others can help you feel better for yourself. Of course, you should not just help others with the goal of helping yourself. However, when you are feeling lonely or isolated, try and help someone in need, and you will find that just by helping someone, you feel better about your situation. It puts everything into perspective.

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Lastly, remember that you are in control of your future. It is easy to feel helpless when loneliness kicks in, but you need to remember that you can do something about it. If you are feeling lonely because you lack the confidence to make friends, take small steps to go events where you can meet new people. Taking small steps to step out of your comfort zone will help you. Rome was not built in a day. It might take some time for you to feel like yourself again, but you will get there.