Ommm

I’m in line at the drug store near work. I’m not paying attention to what’s being said because it’s so rote. The facade of customer care becomes more Stepford by the day.

“Did you find everything you were looking for today?” The cheery customer service representative automates while I’m placing my item on the counter. I find it a truly stupid question. For me, the fact is, if I didn’t find everything I’d still be shopping. But, we live in a world that puts ‘Caution: HOT’ on coffee cups.

For whatever reason, I found myself saying no. The customer service representative jumps from answer a. to answer b. in his code,

“What didn’t you find?”

“Enlightenment.”

Program abort. Reboot.

It was funny to actually see the slight light of human poke through there for a moment. We finished our transaction with a normal civility.

Then later in the day (truly proving I still hadn’t found enlightenment) I was talking about someone very annoying and my friend said,

“Why don’t you tell her to suck a bag of dicks.” Borrowing a line from Louie C.K.