Grim: You and that wretched girlfriend of yours are bad enough separately, but together... you're insufferable.

Billy: Insufferable? I don't even know what that means. And hey, Mandy's not my girlfriend! She's just a FRIEND, who happens to be a GIRL, just like I happen to be a BOY, and you happen to be a SKELETON. It's the differences that make our planet so rich, diverse, and wonderful!

[Rainbows in the background]

Grim: I still hate you, though.

Billy: You think that was too mean?

Mandy: He said he didn't want to. You know what that means!

Billy: You're right.

Mandy: Oh, Grim!

Grim: Yes...

Mandy: My little dog, Saliva's feeling all so sad and lonely, could you cheer him up?

Grim: Cheer him up yourself!

Mandy: Oh, Grim! Won't you please cheer him up one little kiss ought to do it. You know, you want to.

Gladys: (pointing and shaking her mop to Grim) STAY AWAY FROM MY BABY! He's allergic to the undead!

Gladys: It's time to kick it up a notch!

Grim: (A shaker almost hits him) Whoa! Hey! You almost hit me with that! (Another shaker hits him in the face) Now was that really necessary? (Other shakers hit him; he mutters obscenities) Is that your best shot?! (Now the cupboard throws hims in the face with two shakers in his eyes) Hey! Wh-What happened? (He turns around) Who turned off all the- Ah-ah-aah-ah-choo! (As he sneezes, the two shakers immediately pop out of the sockets, he sighs. And, as the dust clears, he sniffles a little)

This quote is taken from "Meditation XVII" of Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions, a 1624 metaphysical poem by John Donne: "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

Nergal: [attempting friendly conversation with Pud'n on a ferris wheel] Obviously I should have known that when the boils became infected I would be... [conversation fades out as the wheel turns as the audience is left to guess what else is said] ...by this point the stench was unmerciful and took thirty... [fades out again - upon returning, Pud'n is looking thoroughly unwell] ...the wounds were boiling over with some sort of viscous... [fades out again - Pud'n is then heard vomiting] ...by Tuesday the whole ear canal was infested with... [fades out again, Grim and Mandy look unimpressed]

Nergal: [after hearing that Billy and Mandy force Grim to be their friend] "Of course, all the good things in life must be taken by force." [stops with a look of realization on his face] "[whispers] Now I know what to do.

Billy: "What?

Nergal: [revealing his tentacles menacingly] "I MUST MAKE PEOPLE BE MY FRIENDS!"

Mandy: No. [punches Billy] We're here to kick the crud out of you for waking us up at 3 a.m. to squish a bug!

Billy: You don't get it, man! It was a BIG bug!

Jeff the Spider: Oh, there you are! I figured it out and I'm so sorry. You're obviously allergic to banana bread. Anyway, I didn't mean to interrupt, I'll just go finish alphabetizing your toys. [walks away whistling]

Grim: I suppose that's partly my fault. [eats a chocolate] You see, it all started a long time ago, here in Endsville, when it's just a tiny village. Now, every village has its problems, and Jack was Endsville's problem. Now, Jack was just a pleasant guy; it's just that he had this one weakness... he loved pulling pranks... Now everyone enjoys a good laugh every now and then, but the problem with Jack was that he just didn't know when to stop... Rumor had it he'd stay up through the night inventing new tricks, then he'd laugh himself to sleep... 'Til the townspeople couldn't take it no more, so they devised a prank of their own that would teach Jack a lesson once and for all! They sent a prank gift to the queen and signed it from Jack.

Mandy: [skeptically] Endsville had a queen?

Grim: Hey! Who's telling this story?! Now, everyone knew the queen had no sense of humor, but she did loved to receive gifts... especially candy. But when she opened her gift from Jack O'Lantern; Jack Skellington the Pumpkin King Scarecrow Costume from The Nightmare Before Christmas, well... the rest is history. Jack had to be taught a lesson... That's when I made the scene. Well, it was his time, but the guy refused to go... I underestimated his power...

Billy: And then...?

Grim: He took me scythe! Well, he wanted to strike a bargain so he could keep playing pranks for all eternity. If I granted him eternal life, he give me back my scythe.

Billy: Did you give it to him?

Grim: Well, I had no choice. I granted him eternal life. But the Grim Reaper does not like being tricked, so I decided that Jack would not be showing his face around town again... ever!

Billy: Y-you cut his head off?!

Grim: Yep. [casually eats more candy]

Mandy: Wow, Grim. Impressive. Didn't think you had it in you.

Billy: What happened next?

Grim: I hear that Jack got himself a pumpkin and wears it as his new head... Time passed, and so did the story of Jack O'Lantern. It is said he still lives in that old house, untouched by time... trapped by a ever-changing world that does not understand him. Every Halloween night, Jack emerges with a sack full of tricks, and he plays terrible pranks on the people of Endsville... So Billy, that's why people trick on Halloween.

Billy: Oh, that is the lamest story I ever heard! I'm so sure - Jack the evil pumpkin-head prankster! Well, I don't buy it!

Jack O'Lantern: The oldest trick in the book, and you fell for it, my boy. Now I have the scythe and all of its terrible powers!

Billy: [laughs] You're fun! You wanna trick-or-treat with me?

Jack O'Lantern: Trick-or-treat with you? ... Sure. Do you mind if I bring a few... "friends"? [grins menacingly, drools]

Billy: [naïvely] You could never have enough friends.

Jack O'Lantern: I'm beginning to like you, kid.

Billy: So where are your friends, Jack? All I see around here are a bunch of stupid pumpkins!

Jack O'Lantern: Patience, my boy. Here they come.

Jack lifts the scythe and slices open a spacial rift in the clouds, unleashing hundreds of demons from the Underworld.

Jack O'Lantern: Allow me to introduce you to my friends! ... With the Grim Reaper's scythe at my side, chaos will reign! Be free, spirits of the Underworld! Take these pumpkin for bodies and live again! Together, we will rule the night and take our revenge on the people of Endsville! Now it's our turn to walk the streets while the people of Endsville coward in their homes! The sun will never rise again, and it will be Halloween every night... FOREVER![laughs manically]

Billy: Now that's what I call Halloween spirit.

Billy: Hi, Grim! How's your Halloween been so far?

Grim: Billy! Where's my scythe?!

Jack O'Lantern: You mean this? Yachachacha cha!

Grim: Jack O'Lantern! Give me my scythe!

Jack O'Lantern: Sorry, but I'll be needing it to control the universe! [thrusts scythe threateningly at Grim] And cut your head off like you did mine!

Billy: Oh, have you two met? Grim, Jack. Jack, Grim.

Grim: [strained] We've met!

Jack O'Lantern: Well, relax, old friend. Don't lose your head!

Irwin: Hi, Mandy! I'm Little Bo Peep, and I've lost-

Mandy: [coldly] Your mind, you lost your mind, Irwin.

Jack O'Lantern: Three hundred and sixty-four days a year, I can't even go to the ding-dong grocery store to buy pudding! And do you know why?

Billy: [raises hand] Ooh, ooh, is it because you're a pumpkin-headed freak?

A tree demon ties Grim up and forces him to lean over on a tree stump execution-style. Jack O'Lantern laughs deviously and walks away. He returns with a basket, whistling casually as he drops it under Grim's head.

Grim: Oh, poop.

While walking away, Billy whistles casually. Then a lightbulb goes on over his head as he realizes the whole decapitation issue. The lightbulb smashes on his head.

Billy: [still panicked] Mandy, I've met Jack O'Lantern and he got Grim's scythe and he's crazy! And then we got candy and crush cards [calmly] and that was fun... [panicked again] But then, we found Grim and then Jack, him. Ooh, and now he's going to cut off Grim's head and I don't know what to do cause it's going to be cut off forever and stuff! And why the heck are you pouring super-hot sauce into that milk, girl?

[at the end.]

Billy: You know Grim, if you didn't give me the scythe in the first place, this kind of thing would never happened!

Mandy: Uh... [Billy looks at the burger and sees a family of flies on a picnic blanket, sitting on the burger]

Daddy Fly: Do you mind?! [He whacks Billy on the nose]

[Billy screams as Mandy covers her ears. Billy drags his tongue along the ground, and spits out the burger. It flies towards his house, where Grim holding a bucket and sponge is standing in his room, wearing a pink apron and a red cloth on his head.]

Grim: Finally! After seven hours of cleaning up after them brats, everything is spotless! [Silence for two seconds. Suddenly, the burger crashes through the window, creating a chain reaction of everything and the shelves falling down and breaking. One of the drawers catches on fire, turning the sprinklers on.]

Grim: [down on his knees, sobbing] WHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!!!

[Back at the park]

Billy: Ah! Ah! Ah! I hate bugs! Oh, my gosh! What if I turn into a bug right now?!

Mandy: Let's do a bug test. Tell me the first thing that crawls into your little brain. Lady?

[In the bathroom, Jeff the spider, hanging from the ceiling, looks through an air vent and watches the people in the park.]

Jeff: Wow. Who knew fathers and sons could be so happy? [sighs] If only I had a chance to show my dad what a great son I turned out to be. [Looks at some photos on the wall] But all I have to remember him by are these... [starts to cry] baby pictures! [The pictures show Billy holding Jeff as an egg, Billy sitting on the egg, Billy screaming in horror, Jeff waving, and Jeff watching Billy run out of the door screaming.]

[Billy wakes up and sees Jeff]

Jeff: Are you okay? [Billy looks terrified] It's alright, Dad. It's me, your son, Jeff! [Zoom in on Jeff's ugly face, claws, and dripping fangs] Happy to see me? [Billy stands up, looking scared. A centipede crawls down from the wall onto Billy's hat. Billy jumps in fear.] Hey, Dad, are you gonna eat that? [He takes the centipede and gobbles it up. Billy runs out of the bathroom, screaming. Mandy watches.] No, Dad, wait! You can have the bug! Oh, what did I do wrong?

Mandy: You're being too nice.

Jeff: Mandy, I don't think you can be too nice. I mean, maybe too forgiving, but too nice?[Mandy breaks the canopy above the door, making it fall on Jeff.] Oops. You dropped your canopy.

Irwin: Hi, Mindy. Want a lick of my... [Mindy knocks the ice cream in his face]

Mindy: Oops. Later, loser. [walks away]

Irwin: I love you. [Jeff stares for a second]

Jeff: Wow! That's all it takes? Mandy, I want you to teach me to stop being so nice, and start being mean, cruel, and evil. More like you!

Mandy: I'l do it for a hundred bucks.

Jeff: A hundred bucks?! Well, for you... two hundred! [Gives her the money]

Mandy: Meet me at Billy's house at 6pm. And bring a bad attitude.

[Mandy opens Billy's door, revealing Jeff hiding in the bushes]

Mandy: Hey, Jeff.

Jeff: [whispering] Psst! Mandy! I'm over here!

Mandy: [sarcastically] Oh, you're definately Billy's son.

Jeff: OK, Mandy. Time to play hardball with Dad. And to show him I mean business, I made him some pony tear truffles. [holds out a tray of them. Mandy facepalms. Billy comes outside, not noticing Jeff]

Billy: [grabbing a boombox] Get away from me, freak! Yaaah! [Slams the boombox on Jeff, then starts throwing more furniture at him]

Jeff: It's working, Mandy! [Gets hit in the head with a lava lamp] He's showering me with gifts! [Billy runs away] Oh, Mandy! I can feel the warmth of Daddy's love, surging through my shattered lenses!

Mandy: This is gonna be harder than I thought. Time for Plan B.

Jeff: No more Mr. Nice Spider.

Sir Raven: Alas, poor Billy, destined to walk the sepulchered streets of suburbia. A doomed husk of a child. Don't cry for him... DO NOT CRYYY!!

Billy: My bike rocks! Oh, the wheels are like circles!

Weird kid: Hello, Billy.

Billy: How'd you know my name?

Weird kid: I guessed.

Weird kid: Yes, it's totally free, but there's one thing: You must promise to love it FOREVER, and EVER, and EVER... and ever.

Billy: I promise! [thunders strike, black background]

Weird kid: MUHAHAHAHA!

Billy: [stares at him confused.]

Weird kid: ha, ha... Oh, I'm sorry, I just remembered one really funny joke, about a duck and a [church bells]... never mind, it's time for you to go! And remember: you must love it forever... forever... forever...

Billy: Okay! Thanks Mr. Kid!

Billy: Wow, what a cool tricycle! I'll name you... TRIKY! Come on Triky, lets have some FUN!

Irwin and Pud'n: [singing] Baby Billy, Sitting in a crib; Dripping mashed potatoes all down his bib.

Billy: [crying] You're wrong! Triky is cool! And I haven't worn a bib in months! [while riding the tricyle, he sobs all the way home, going to the kitchen to drink his pint of milk, he then burps; continues crying all the way to his room, lying on his bed] T-they--They didn't even give me a chance!

Grim: [scanning Billy] Just as I suspected. His brain is caught in a weird juju vortex, and his good luck matrix is in the red. This could only mean one thing: Catastrophe Snail!

Billy: Catastrophe Snail?!

Grim: Right in your noodle.

Mandy: But how did it get there?

Grim: It must have been in that restaurant when Billy spilled the salt. I told him to throw salt over his shoulder to PREVENT bad luck, but Billy panicked. He reached for the salt, but he grabbed the pepper. That's when the snail must have appeared on Billy's shoulder. Salt would've have fizzled that slimeball, but Billy threw pepper. And at that time, the whole place was sneezing. So, that snail slipped right into Billy's ear with nobody noticing a ting. Once the Catastrophe Snail gets in your head, he plugs his shell right into brain. And once he's plugged in, mon, he'll be reprogramming your mind to have nothing but bad luck only. Dig it?

Catastrophe Snail: I love my job!

Grim: Yeah, mon. And if we don't pull him out soon... I guess it's fatal.

Billy: [screaming] He's messing with my head!!!

Catastrophe Snail: [after being evicted from Billy's brain] This is definitely NOT my lucky day.

Harold: Son, I never said you this before, and I probably won't ever say it again, but... I love you son.

Harold: It's not the size of the fish that counts. It's how you cook 'em!

Billy: Thanks, Mr. One Eye.

General Skarr: My name is Mr. Skarr!

Billy: How come you got only one eye? Are you sensitive about it? Because if I had only one eye, I would be sensitive about it. You should wear an eye patch like a pirate, then all you need is a puffy shirt. Do you own a puffy shirt? You look like you would.

General Skarr: I'll show them what real power is! Take my love, my pain, and ALL of my anger!!!

Billy: So, as I was saying, there are lots of words that rhyme with "cheese"!

General Skarr: [making cornbread] Real corn makes it special.

General Skarr: What ARE you?!

Mandy: I'm just a pretty little girl.

Ernest: ["welcoming" General Skarr to the neighbourhood, shouting]CUUURSED!! CUUURSED! Woe to all who live in that house, for they shall only know PAIN!! PAAAIIIN!![calmly] Oh, and welcome to the neighbourhood. Here's some nice jellatin the wife made. It's got bits of fruit and stuff. [awkward pause] Okay, well, bye. [he leaves, and shouts offscreen]CUUURSED!!

[Billy has just learned of Skarr's past]

Billy: That story was so beautiful, it gave me gas. [farts] But don't you ever miss your old job?

General Skarr: [fondly] Miss commanding regimented forces of destructive power? As we encircle the globe with our terrible iron fists of might? [raising his voice and slowly becoming more maniacal] Crushing down all the pathetic fools who dared stand before us? Gorging our bellies on their cries for mercy, until at last, I ALONE STAND AS THE GLORIOUS DARK LORDOF ALL THE KNOWN UNIVERSE?! [gasps for breath before suddenly calming down] Not at all. Don't miss it.

Billy: You... disgust me! I thought you were baaad. You ain't bad, you ain't nothin'!

Booboo: [who is fat with big nipples] Don't let him get awaaay! [Yogi gives chase, wild-eyed, waving his arms in the air and yelling gibberish. He stops, gets down on all fours and sniffs the ground while Billy hides behind a tree]

Yogi: I know you're close, you dirty human!

Billy: Hey, I'm not dirty, I just had a bath fifteen days ago! Oops! [He covers his mouth as Yogi glars at him. He then chases him again] Aaaaaaaah! Aaaah! [Billy runs into a cave] Hey, ya dumb bears! You can't get me now! I'm in a cave!

Yogi: He's right, Booboo. We bears are terribly afraid of caves.

Booboo: Why are we so lame, Yogi?

King Beardbottom: We're stuck with mushrooms! Here, try one.

Billy: It tastes like my cat!

King Beardbottom: They taste like everyone's cat! It's been 300 years and I still hate the taste. I've worked with mushrooms for so long, even my sweat smells like 'em! Here, take a whiff.

Billy: [Sniffs Beardbottom's armpit] Whew, you ain't kiddin'!

[the King Beardbottom is telling the story about the origins of the war]

Billy: [appearing in the flashback] Hey, wait a second! Hold up. How can you be mad at the Elves? You chose to trade cookies for mushrooms!

Druid: Hey, did that kid just step into the flashback?

Other Druid: What manner of sorcery be this?

Censoring Trooper: Alright listen up you little radish munchers, this battle is about to become way too exciting to show our younger viewers. Instead I will show you this soothing image until the fight is over. SWEET MOTHER OF FOG YOU SHOULD SEE THIS! Cookies and mushrooms flying through the air like june bugs in a swamp! Whew it appears to be over, lets go back to the- Whoa ho ho! That was entirely my bad! I misread the signals! I knew a guy named "Joe". He misread the signals in a combat situation - now he eats everything through a mechanical straw!

Billy: Stop it! Stop the fighting! Why do you have to hate each other? Can't you see you're just like peas and mashed potatoes? Some people don't like them to touch each other if they're on the same plate. But it's okay... it's okay if they touch! Because they both get chewed up by the mouth!. And sent down the oesophagus and dissolved into the stomach and absorbed into the intestines and, oh ho, I won't go any further than that. But the point is, we're all just nutrients in the great big digestive system called LIFE!

[Grim and Mandy are washing a car.]

Grim: I wonder how Billy's picnic is going.

[Billy flies past them really fast]

Billy: HEY GRIM! HEY MANDY!

Grim: That answers one question, yet raises so many others...

Boogie: What happened to your face?

Boy: Dude, I'm like fifteen. We all look like this. What are you, my mom?

Mandy: Wrong! This is an empty Orange Juice container. Somebody drank it. They probably wanted me to get scurvy from lack of Vitamin C!

Billy: [trying to find an evil empire to destroy with his superpowers] Hello? Evil empire? Legion of doom? Plague of society? Threat to mankind, where are you?

Billy: [still trying to find an evil empire, he looks down and sees a bunch of bacteria] Infinitesimal evil! In the name of the Earth, and all that is clean and fresh! Environmentally safe, and partially hydrogenated! I... uh... I! Uh, I... uh... ...AH SHOOT MAH YOGHURT!

Mandy: I'm gonna open up my own personal can of Powerpuff on you two.

Grim: The only thing I keep in me' robe are terrible cursed objects! [makes scary noises]

Billy: [pulls out the Mask of the Beast] You mean like this one?

Grim: Yes, exactly like that.

Billy: Oooooh... it's a pair of butt wings!

Grim: No, you simpleton! It is the Mask of the Beast! Whoever puts it on must be nice, polite, friendly, and happy, or they'll turn into a terrible hideous beast!

Billy: OH! I WANNA BE A TERRIBLE HIDEOUS BEAST! [puts the Mask on his nose] Is it working? Is it working? Is it working?

Grim: [snatches the mask] You dope. It won't work on you. You've already been a hopelessly happy goon all day long.

Grim: Isn't about time for you to go?

Mandy: Yeah, the evil empire remember?

Billy: Captain Spring Green Squeaker reporting for intergalactical duty! In the name of truth, justice, and YOGURT![armpit squirts yogurt on Mandy and Grim.][Laughs]

Billy: Hey! Who you calling ridi-culous? Well, what about your fear of professional figure skaters?

Mandy: That's not a fear. I just don't trust the way they spin is all.

Billy: You gotta believe me, Mandy! The clowns are nothing but ULTIMATE EVIL! They wanna become the dominant species on the planet, and they'll destroy us all to make it happen!

[shouts at the top of his lungs]

Billy: Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all! Destroy us all!

Billy: [sitting at his desk in class with his fellow students; shouting]Destroy us all!

Billy: [at the chalkboard, attempting to solve a math problem; shouting]Destroy us all!

Billy: [at his locker in the hallway; shouting]Destroy us all!

Billy: [in Biology class, dissecting a frog; shouting]Destroy us all!

Billy: [on the swingset at recess; shouting]Destroy us all!

Billy: [in the lunch line; calmly to the lunch lady] I'll take the chicken.

Billy: [sitting at the lunch table with Mandy and Irwin; shouting]Destroy us all!

Billy: [doing sit-ups with the other kids in gym class; shouting]Destroy us all!

Billy: [in the Boy's bathroom, we see Billy's feet underneath a closed stall; shouting]Destroy us all!

Billy: [feeding the school pet; shouting]Destroy us all!

Billy: [getting off the bus with Mandy; shouting]Destroy us all!

[he walks home off-screen, still shouting]

Mandy: [annoyed] All right, that's it!

[Mandy has been carrying Grim (in several pieces) around in her backpack]

Grim: Okay, we need to talk about this backpack thing. It's very demeaning. I'm the Grim Reaper, for goodness' sake. I used to have a chariot of four-hundred burning horses. My arrival on the scene would be a raging thunderclap of fear! Now it's "Hey, have you seen Grim?" "Yeah! I think he's wedged between a history textbook and a tuna-fish sandwich!"

Grim: See, Mandy? All we had to do was shake him and yell. It's the answer to everything!

Billy: Well, as a matter of fact I do have a problem. These really scary clowns keep on scaring me!

Inner Frat Boy: Aw, clowns aren't scary, Billy.

Billy: They're not?

Inner Frat Boy: No, they're just different. And just because someone's different doesn't mean you should be afraid of them. It means you should be angry at them! How dare they be different?! What, my way of life ain't good enough for ya?!

Billy: So you're saying I should beat them up?

Inner Frat Boy: Billy, fighting outside of a hockey rink is wrong. But I'm imaginary, so do what you gotta do.

[Grim and Mandy, dressed as clowns, pursue Billy into a beauty parlor with 1980s music playing in the background]

Grim: And people think I'M scary.

[He calls out to the women in the parlor]

Grim: 1983 ended a REALLY long time ago, ladies!

Mandy: [dressed as a clown] Billy! Don't fear us! We're here to make you smile!

Grim: [also dressed as a clown] And for Pete's sake, stop wettin' yourself!

[Grim tries to juggle but the balls hit Billy in the face]

Mandy: What was that?!

Grim: I TOLD you I can't juggle! I wanted to do the routine with the umbrellas, but you said "No"! (Billy tries to crawl away) And WHERE do you think YOU'RE going?! (Picks Billy up by the collar of his shirt and shakes him) Listen! STOP BEING AFRAID OF CLOWNS! STOP IT, YOU NINNY! STOP IT, OK?! STOP BEING AFRAID OF CLOWNS!

Billy: [singing while playing with a toy truck] Keep on truckin', truck-truck-truck-truckin'!

Eris: Hey, guess what? Chicken butt! But seriously, did you know at Flabburger they actually throw away food that's been under a heat lamp for more than thirty-six hours? So, I brought you dorks lunch.

Whatever Happened to Billy Whatsisname? / Just the Two of Pus [4.06][edit]

Bobby: What? No, NO! I mean I want you to disappear, permanently! Your friends don't like you, you're nothing but a burden to your poor Mother and Father! They all choose me over you, so there's no reason for you to even be here! I'm giving you twenty-four hours to get out of here! Or I'll get rid of you myself!

Billy: [to the box of Chocolate Sailors] You won't be disappointed this time, Chocolate Sailor. You'll see. I'm gonna be the best dang sailor in the whole dang army! I'll sell gazillions. Together, we'll make major booty, 'cause you're so BOOTYLICIOUS!

Tooth Fairy Cowboy: [to Billy] What's so funny?!

Billy: Do you have a shrunken head?

[A man with a very large body but a very small head appears in front of him]

Irwin's Dad: Yes, Irwin's mom is actually a mummy. Nobody can tell you who to fall in love with, but we've managed to make it work all these years. Leaving a whole lot of questions that don't need to be answered.

Evil Bunny: (after being blown up, amerges from wreckage with skin and flesh falling off of him. His skull and bones are visible) It's okay, Pud'n. I forgive you. I forgive you because I love you, and I love you...to death.

Pud'n: [screams]

Thromnambular: I'm a skull that's made for wishes. If you wish for a cake, it will be delicious.

Nergal Jr.: [to Thromnambular] Cake, eh...

Sperg: [angrily] What are you looking at?

Thromnambular: Contradiction young man, from what I can see, for you are the one who is looking at me!

Mindy: I guess not everyone can be as beautiful as I am or as popular as I am. But as beautiful and popular as I am, I bet there are some people who've never even heard of me: people in countries like Paris or Toronto, or in cities like Africa. I wish I was a big star!

Thromnambular: I can make you the biggest star of all. But, the bigger they get, the harder they fall!

[wish number 8 is granted]

Thromnambular: [to Mandy] So it's down to you; and it's down to me. One wish left and I will be set free!

Grim: Okay, Thromnambular. I guess we're both trapped in situations we don't like. So let's help each other out. I wish I was free from Billy and Mandy forever, and that you were free from your prison of wishes so that you'll never make another wish again!

Thronambular: I heard your proposal, let's broker a deal. I'll grant you your wish and we'll see how you feel!

Guy on TV: Oh, Labbie! You're our hero! Here, take this golden dog bone as a token of our gratitude.

Labbie: Woof, woof!

Billy: Hey, are you guys puh-psychic?

Grim: No, you pea-brain. We've watched this movie 60 times in a row.

Billy: It's over!

Grim: Woo hoo! Yes, now what shall we do?

Billy: LET'S WATCH IT AGAIN!

[Few hours later]

Guy on TV: Run, Labbie! Run like a wind!

Billy: I can't believe that Timmy fell into the well again. I mean, wouldn't he get sick of falling into it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over-and over and over and over, ooh, it's over; let's watch it again!

Mandy & Grim: NO!!! [Grim takes out the tape] Grim: No more Labbie!

[Mandy and Grim walk into Billy's living room, the whole place practically destroyed]

Grim: Billy, what happened here?

Billy: I don't know...I fell asleep, and I had this crazy dream that I was naked at school and the chubakablehbleh attacked me!

Scythe 2.0: I was never meant to be used as a hedge trimmer, a drain cleaner or a depilatory aid! I was meant to carve a swath of despair and destruction through the world of men, to blacken the skies and redden the seas, leaving nothing behind but entropy and uncomfortable silence...

Grim: Yeah, yeah, be quiet. One of these guys is gonna win a million bucks for milking a goat with his mouth!

(Mandy flings an AppleScrap into the gap in Eris's front top row of teeth.)

Mandy: You do now.

Eris(startled) What in the... (the firebird comes of Billy's head and latches onto Eris')

Mandy: (trying to be nice) Billy, we've known each other now for what seems like a nightmarish eternity. And though I insult you and lie to you daily, steal your stuff, make fun of you, your family, and anyone who looks like you, I still don't feel like I (frustrated grunt) know you. Why don't you tell me more about yourself?

Billy: If I told you, you wouldn't understand. I'm a very complex and multi-layered person.

(He blows tiny gum bubbles)

Billy: (speaking rapidly) But if you really want to know more about me, it's all here in my new autobiography! Hot off the presses! Complete and unabridged!!

Grim: Uh, excuse me, sir? Do you have time for an informal survey? What do you think is more frightening, these three scary monsters... [Bride of Frankenstein, Dracula and Wolf Man make scary noises] ...or this glass of water?

Man: Water! Eh, eh, WATER!

Grim: Look, man, I'll give you five bucks. Five bucks! If you say those monsters are scarier than the water.

Dracula: Dracula thirsty. Gonna drink this water.

Grim: [to Dracula] Dracula, please don't!

Dracula: You can't tell Dracula what to do! Dracula a grown man. Do what he wants!

Man: Can I please go now?

Dracula: Wolfman swallowed a squirrel whole. Dracula told him to chew, but no one listens to Dracula!

Mindy: Oh, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. Man-deeeee. You ugly people are so predictable. But since you were born hideous and beast-like, it's not my place to judge.

Mindy: Putting makeup on you is like putting diamonds on a doo-doo. Give it up, Mandy. I was Little Miss Rickets last year, Little Miss Toe Jam the year before and, GIRRRRL, I'm gonna be Little Miss Scurvy this year.

Principal Goodvibes: Mandy, I overheard the hurtful things that Mindy said to you. And I think she's got a point. You have to look deep inside, and realize that the only person who can decide if you're truly pretty... is a panel of three judges! Here's a pageant entry form.

Captain Greengums: Arr, I used to have a set of perfect gums, over which the tavern wenches swooned! But then, I got the scurvy! They had to replace me gums with... with... KOSHER PICKLES! [Starts to cry, and hugs Skarr] And I hate pickles!

Principal Goodvibes: Statistics show the number one cause of scurvy is ignorance! Please do not boil your fruit juices. I cannot stress this enough, people! [farts] Now with that out of the way -- let the pageant begin!

Principal Goodvibes: Gom Jabbar!

Mindy: It BURRRRRNS! [pulls out hand]

Captain Greengums: Arrrr, that'll cost 'er some points.

Sir Raven: Will Mandy win the pageant? Will she ever smile? I don't care. Instead, here's an important commercial message.

IMPORTANT... COMMERCIAL... MESSAGE !!!

(Grim, Billy and Mandy are dressed up as The Power-Puff Girls. Suddenly, the hotline rings)

Harold: [talking like a commercial announcer] Hello, friends! Tired of living? Those Sunday brunches gotcha down? Well, I can relieve all that ails 'ya with this "magic stick thingy"! Side effects may include missing limbs, hair loss, and not living anymore!

[Harold gets zapped with the scythe and turns into a child.]

Billy: But I'm looking for Captain Fathead!

Mandy: Your dad's in the garage.

Mandy: [after seeing Billy's butt through the hole in the back of his pants] I've just lost my ability to see! I can still feel your butt looking at me.

Billy: You STILL knew it was me?! I even dressed up as a stupid cowboy so nobody would recognize me! I HATE CALLER ID SO MUCH!!! IT'S RUINING MY LIFE, GRIM!!! MY LIFE!!! MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!!

Grim:(After Mandy asks why he's crying) Billy, and... and his... UGLY friend... They made a call during the week, and I've only got a limited amount of weekday minutes! That is so EVIL, mon! And I know evil - I'm the Grim Reaper!

Mandy: Get ahold of yourself. They were probably playing around with your phone making phony phone calls. Where are they, anyway?

Grim: Oh, I don't know. They probably got sucked through the phone into another dimension beyond time and space, yadda-yadda-yadda, and we're all doomed if they awaken the Great Cthulhu, 'cause he'll probably come up and destroy the universe. Let's go watch television.

Baron Van Ghoulish: Besides, you don't want the Head Vampire, you want the "Head" Head Vampire.

Mandy: The "Head" Head Vampire?

Baron Van Ghoulish: Yes, they did this whole reorganization thing a couple of hundred years ago. It doesn't make much sense to me... eh what was I talking about? Oh yes, yes, the "Head" Head Vampire. I think he was at my Labor Day Soiree. I'd definitely know him if i saw him.

Harold: Aren't you excited? We get to move to another town and leave behind everything that has meaning to you!

Billy: But I don't wanna leave. I just finished marking my territory.

Grim: Stop it! Just stop it! You're behaving like spoiled children! I suggest you behave like spoiled adults, and settle this in court.

Billy: Fine! I'll see you in court! [He appears in a tennis court]

Grim: Wrong court, dummy.

Judge Roy Spleen: Let's get this party started. Do you, Billy, take Mandy to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Billy: I DO!

Judge Roy Spleen: And do you, Mandy, take Billy to be... [security guard whispers in his ear] Wait, not a wedding?

Mandy: This whole charade is pointless! Grim should belong to me!

Billy: Shut your dirty pie hole! He should belong to me!

Judge Roy Spleen: BOTH of you shut your dirty pie holes! You will follow the rules of the underworld court, or so help me, I'll make you sit in the chocolate pudding chair! THE STAINS WILL NEVER COME OUT OF YOUR CLOTHES!

Billy: So, Mandy? You think you can make me look BAD?! Well, guess what, Mr. Missy-miss? I don't need YOU to make ME look bad! I can do that all on my own. And now, you force me to play dirty. [Billy starts playing in mud, laughing] I'm a dirty boy. I'm a dirty, I'm a dirty boy!

Mandy: Billy, you've just evolved a notch up the idiot ladder.

Billy: Such biting comments, Mandy. But now, they'll bite YOU - in the butt! I call to this court, Mandy's mom and dad!

Mandy's dad: It's not that we don't LOVE Mandy...

Mandy's mom: We love her very much!

Mandy's dad: It's just that we're... uhh... kinda scared of her.

Mandy's mom: I'm usually too afraid to even make eye contact!

Mandy's dad: When she was born, wolves came to try and raise her as one of their own. Sometimes I wonder if we were wrong to stop them...

Mrs. Butterbean[angrily talk to the mean old caveman, Fred Flintstone, drove roughly in Mrs. Butterbean's car] You do know, that now you'd kidnapped me, I expect to be married.

[doorbell rings]

Mandy: Grim. Door. Now.

[Grim walks off screen and returns with Billy and Irwin]

Grim: Here you go, your highness. Lord Idiot and Count Weenie.

Billy[sobbing]: Goodbye old friend, may you find you destiny in the future, mighty Jake Steel. The future, where cars will fly and we'd all have nano machines in our bloodstream that will enable us to tell the time without a watch. The future... the FUTURE.

Mandy: He's not dead, Billy. We just re-buried him in your front yard. What a waste of an episode.

Pud'n: Hey... you are that nice mister Skarr, with all those pretty flowers?

Grim: I can't believe that you actually saved the humanity. But you hate humanity!

Mandy: I won't be tricked into unleashing a never-ending sorrow on humanity. When the time comes, I'll do it on my own.

[About Dora the Explorer]

Billy: Is it that one about the little girl who wanders around the jungle with no parental supervision, avoiding crisis and conversing with the local wildlife with the aid of her foreign language-speaking monkey?

Mandy: Grim, you're gonna tell me how to stop her, and you're gonna do it now.

Grim: And why should I do that?

Mandy: [angrily grabbing Grim by the neck of his cloak] You're gonna tell it! Or so help me, I will pull your stupid cloak through your eyes and use it as reins to ride your bony butt back to the darkest pits of the Underworld FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!!

Grim: Aghh, okay! Sorry I asked, you little psychopath.

Mindy: [to her cheerleading squad] Don't stop! Get it! Get it! SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE!

Dora: [after trying to make Mindy open her lunch box for some time] Look, are you gonna open my lunch box and look inside or not, you big loser! [Mindy, the girls and Irwin screams]

Mindy: [stamering in shock] Wh-what? I-I-I'm not a lo-loser! You're the... [Dora walks away] Hey, get back here! I'm not through humiliating you, you... you bean!