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Just a brief note on something we really should have mentioned a couple of days back – Shacknews have, they claim, actually seen Duke Nukem Forever in action. Like, with their eyes and stuff. The very scant report they gave had some calling shenanigans, but 3D Realms’ George Broussard later popped his head into the thick of it to offer some apparent corroboration.

All the detail on offer is this:

“We actually got to see the truth of Duke curator George Broussard’s many past claims, including environmental puzzles and interactivity, a host of finished weapons, the existence of an in-game forklift, and plenty of heads and arms being blown off. We both confidently agree that after seeing this demonstration, Duke Nukem Forever is looking great, and will easily stand apart from the crowd in both visual and gameplay styles.”

An in-game forklift! Stop the fricking presses!

I jest, of course. The info-embargo is understandable, and it’s good to hear more evidence that DNF is at last on its way, even if there’s nothing whatsoever to yet prove if and how it’s a triumph.

Actually, Duke Nukem Forever is an expansion for the previously released Duke Nukem United Nations, which was freely released but only if you’d bought the original Duke Nukem 3D between the months of April and August.

Duke Nukem Forever will be free as well, but only on weekends and days beginning in “T.”

“Gimme a break. When this game comes out every single one of you will give it a try.”

No. Sorry. I was impressed back in 96 when a few politically incorrect jokes and some satirical male chauvinism in a first person shooter were bold and fresh. Even after that, I still kind of enjoyed Redneck Rampage and Shadow Warrior. But I can’t help but feel this new game has nothing to offer me but a novelty that’s no longer all that novel.

Of course, there might be an actually enjoyable game that doesn’t rely solely on the jokes and chauvinism, like in DN3D’s case.

I’m not really holding my breath, I’ve stopped anticipating for this a long time ago, but it’s still intriguing to see what’s actually coming out. If it comes out. But with the recent teaser and now this, there seems to be some tiny indication that maybe one day we’ll see something.

This ain’t a triumph
I’m making a note here, epic fail.
It’s hard to over-state my lack of caring.
Duke Nukem Forever
You do what you can, it’s not enough
Eleven years is just too long
And our enthus’asm’s dead.
But there’s no point crying ’til your beta-tests crash
You just keep on trying ’til you run out of cash
So the programmers get paid
And the fans never get laid
O’er a game that you call
Still Alive

“Of course, there might be an actually enjoyable game that doesn’t rely solely on the jokes and chauvinism, like in DN3D’s case.”

My thoughts exactly, what really made DN3D wasn’t the jokes and the “naughty” bits, but the frankly awesome level design, environment interactivity (good for its time, still better than in many newer games) and of course the original weapon and item designs. Many people seem to forget all those cool little bits and just focus on “I’m here to kick ass and chew gum, and I’m all out of gum” and “Shake it baby”, which was frankly not a large part of the game.

As long as they bring it out before we all die and as long as they have good level designs then I’ll be interested. Sounds a lot better to me than being “generic space marine 22b” and marching through dark corridors ranging from gunmetal gray to muddy brown…yet again.

I’ve been playing the OpenGL ports of Duke and Shadow Warrior recently, and the reason is their playability, simplicity in today’s terms, and immediacy. And ganseyloads of secrets and easter eggs. If DNF can bring an updated version of that old-school FPS vibe then I’ll be happy.

I agree with Abides to a degree . I think the real problem DNF faces is not so much whether it’s a decent shooter (I’m sure it will be reasonable), but whether the humourous side to is still funny and not risibly embarassing “It’s a manpig, and he’s dressed as a police man!!!, you geddit you geddit?” Certainly I don’t expect it to be po faced, and from what we’ve seen in the teaser that’s clearly not the case, but after 10 years of other companies making better parodies (GTA series) of Americana, DNF might be out of step.

people! clearly the forklift is mentioned to reassure us that the developer is keeping the Crate Review System in mind as they develop the game. We all know that the presence of crates in the game is inevitable, but 3D Realms featured the forklift to reassure us that they were taking such things seriously. If there are pallets as well, this has a strong chance of being my GoTY.

..whether the humourous side to is still funny and not risibly embarassing “It’s a manpig, and he’s dressed as a police man!!!, you geddit you geddit?” Certainly I don’t expect it to be po faced, and from what we’ve seen in the teaser that’s clearly not the case, but after 10 years of other companies making better parodies (GTA series) of Americana, DNF might be out of step

They might go all ironic on us.. “we know the pigman joke was lame even back then, look at us doing it anyway.. woo.. hoo..”.. that would be truly frightening.