1. You start to see yourself through someone else’s eyes, and are often wondering what you could do to be a better person to them.

2. Someone else’s schedule and needs become more important than your own, even if you know that they shouldn’t be.

3. You learn what you can and cannot tolerate in a relationship. (You also learn that you’ll be inclined to bend on these things if you really, really love the person — but that it’s a bad idea to do so.)

4. Someone becomes attractive to you for something much more than their body for the first time, and you realize that what they look like is the least important thing about them.

5. Everything starts to seem secondary to experiencing love with someone, even things that you used to be completely immersed in.

I woke up the other day ready to begin the new year, and when I began my routine Pinterest check this morning I stumbled upon this quote in my feed:

“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.”

As a woman, I have always been fascinated by the threat that independent women pose to a society built on female subordination. I like to think that I am a strong, fierce woman who is capable of holding her own intellectually, physically, and mentally, and as such I have developed a unique perspective on the world and the way that it treats women who do not subscribe to typical gender stereotypes. I have always been an introvert, huddled in whatever space I can find with my books and animals.

As I have grown older, I have embraced my personality: sassy, full of…

I don’t want a boyfriend at this point of my life. For the first time in a long time, I am proud of having some me time, focusing on other aspects of life. I know that all of my friends are now in serious relationships. And I know I always said I wanted a boyfriend. But now, all I can say is, I really don’t want a boyfriend.

I want to go to a late night movie, not watch a movie late at night in your couch. I want to go grab some drinks to some chic pub, not drink a bottle of wine while talking about our future in my bed. I want to kiss you as we are both drunk and then go back to my house feeling butterflies, not end up wasted together and waking up next to each other, cozily snuggling under the covers. I…

First and foremost, rid yourself of the idea that there is even such a thing as a “crazy girl.” There are emotionally unstable people, of course, and some of them are women. But the concept of “the crazy girl,” which has inarguably taken on a life of its own and been the basis for endless romcom tropes and dismissive rationalizations when you break a woman’s heart, (“I had to get out, she was crazy”) is one that has come to mean so much that it inevitably means so little. There is a difference between saying that someone has serious problems in communication or emoting, and writing them off as incurably crazy. If you have found yourself in love with what other, less nuanced observers might deem as “crazy,” it is best to remember how little that word really applies.