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Monica Lewinsky And The $12 Million Affair

English: Monica Lewinsky, from her government ID photo by Office of the Secretary of Defense. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So there we all were, kvelling over the great seducer Bill Clinton, falling in love with him all over again following his star turn at the Democratic National Convention earlier this month. And then, just like in the movies ….

She’s baaacck.

According the New York Post, former first fling Monica Lewinsky is about to receive a $12 million payday for a new memoir detailing her relationship with the first seducer, discussing everything from his sexual peccadilloes to his complaints about wife Hillary.

This latter kvetching, you won’t be surprised to discover, appears to revolve around problems in the presidential marital bedroom. After all, as we all know, middle aged men engaging in affairs with 20something women are always telling their bit on the side how their still hot and sexy middle aged wives really do understand them.

But I’m digressing.

Lewinsky promises to share the details of Clinton’s fantasies, many of which revolved around threesomes and the use of, uh, implements.

So much for that eloquent defense of the government social safety net and equality of opportunity. If this report is true, (and at least one source is saying it is not) we’re all about to find out what toys Hillary Clinton wouldn’t let Bill Clinton bring into the bedroom. What would you rather discuss? Be honest.

Lewinsky’s excuse: she’s alone and she needs a paycheck.

Lewinsky has floundered over the past decade. She’s tried everything from designing handbags to getting an advanced degree in social psychology from the London School of Economics, but nothing seems to have stuck. “No one will hire her and she can’t get a job because of Clinton,” an anonymous friend told the New York Post.

The National Enquirer found a friend (The same one? Who knows? They are all anonymous.) who added that the soon-to-be middle aged Lewinsky is bitter over her single status. “She’s facing 40 without a man in her life.”

Lewinsky might not have gotten the guy, but she will — finally — get the cash. If you begin counting from December of 1997, when she was subpoenaed by special prosecutor Ken Starr and quickly went from less than successful job seeking intern to international punch line, Lewinsky is earning, by my calculation, a cool $800,000 per year from the book alone.

You must admit that’s not a bad payday, even if you had to shred your reputation to get it. The Honey Boo Boo clan would definitely take it. According to reports, they agreed to become a national joke for a mere $4,000 an episode.

But back to Lewinsky.

It’s hard to know what to make of all this. On one hand, I’ve no doubt Lewinsky has had a harder time of it over the years because of her notoriety — a notoriety, it must be said, she never sought out. She might well be living the life of a Beverly Hills homemaker or public relations executive if not for Ken Starr’s absolutely inappropriate investigation. Given how much she was trashed by both the right wing anti-Clinton cabal and the Clinton’s and their deputies, I don’t think many of us begrudge her a $12 million check.

Yet the contention that in our celebrity saturated age, no one would give Lewinsky a gig is just ridiculous. Hell, there are people who would probably make her an offer just so they could tell people they work three desks away from Monica Lewinsky.

No doubt we will all soon know much more about this than we ever wanted to know.

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