Document Your Parents & Grandparents Life Story Before It Is Too Late

We always think there is going to be time to ask questions, time to hear answers. Somehow we don’t seem to make the time to delve a bit more deeply into our parents’ and grandparents’ childhood, youth and adulthood, all those years before we met them.

We always think there will be time for questions. We think that until we realize there is no more time. We think there will be time until someone is abruptly taken from us, or until their memory is slowly robbed by dementia.

My 18 year old son is leaving in a few days on a trip to Poland called March of the Living. It is an educational trip for Jewish youth to teach them about their heritage and about the horrors that occurred in the Holocaust up close by visiting the concentration camps.

As part of the preparation for the trip, the youth are encouraged to ask their relatives who lived through the Holocaust about their experiences. I specifically invited my grandmother for the Sabbath this weekend so that we would have an opportunity to talk to her about her experiences in the concentration camp.

It was not easy asking her questions. Not so much because of the emotions (which did surprise me), but because there was so much she didn’t remember or that she was confused about. As we were sitting at the Sabbath table at lunch I started asking questions. She could not remember. When I asked her the same question a few minutes later, she would give me the answer. I had my 18 year old a bit confused because I asked the same question over and over and he did not understand why I kept repeating myself.

My grandmother ended up recalling the line ups early every morning no matter what the weather. She told us about her mother being yanked away from her and never seeing her ever again. She told us about the Russian with the big curly moustache who liberated them and told them the war was over and they were free. We learned that she had been in Birkenau not Auschwitz like we had thought. She told us that those two camps were one next to another.

So we learned some, but it was evident to me about how much of her history we would never know, how much is lost in her memory and how much information would die with her. As a child I remember doing a report about my grandparents. I am upset I didn’t redo it again as an adult. A few years ago I tried going through my grandmother’s albums with her because there where many people I didn’t recognize. By the time I asked it was really too late. She didn’t know to tell me about many of the pictures.

Through my blogging I have started writing about my experiences these days. I am now thinking that I should sit down and write an autobiography of sorts. Something that my kids can read when they are older and have questions. As an ER nurse I am all too aware of the fact that you never know when your time will be up. How many times have I heard relatives wail over the death of a family member and say “But she was just on her way to work.”

What I want everyone to do is to remember there isn’t always time. Take the time now to ask your parents and grandparents lots of question. Videotape them, write about their experiences, ask them about the old photos in their albums.

Your parents and grandparents are part of your heritage. In Judaism there is a saying that says:“The deeds of our ancestors are a model for future generations.”
I think that holds true for everyone. There is much to be learned from our parents and grandparents. From their trials, successes and even mistakes. We just have to remember to ask for the information before it is too late. Hopefully you will even be lucky and still have decades to learn and experience even more with your parents and grandparents. That would be an added bonus.

13 Responses

I love this idea! You are so right, it will be too late and then all of that is lost. I am thinking about sending mine a journal for them to fill in and add photos to and stuff so that there is a record of their lives, because once they are gone, so is the last real link to their parents and grandparents as well.

That is why I wrote this post. I also think that we have to remember not be so perfectionist in our attitude towards it. That is why I never did it, because I always wanted to do it the biggest and best way. So nothing ever got done.

Which is why even a few questions and a few pages is better than nothing.

Let me know when you get it done! And don’t forget to write your own chronicles about you and your husband for your kids.

What a fantastic post! I am all for preserving our heritage and history, we could learn so much just from our immediate generations. It’s amazing the knowledge and experiences our Grandparents had, such things are so easily lost in the shuffle of our everyday lives.

Beautiful, truthful post. You are absolutely right – it is essential to document our past before it is too late. Althought three of my four grandparents are already gone, a few years ago I was able to have my paternal grandmother answer a series of questions in writing about her rememberances of World War II. I was startled by the clarity of her responses and am so grateful that I have that document. I only wish I had been able to have my grandfather do the same thing before he passed away. Having served in the war for the United States, I would have loved his perspective.

Thank you for your wonderful post. I am so thrilled to have connected with your blog.

Great post. I was telling my husband the other day about how I remember two little old ladies coming to our elementary school and telling us about their experiences in concentration camps. I think more than anything else, seeing the numbers tatooed on those sweet ladies’ arms impressed upon me at a very young age how evil the Nazis were. I told my husband that I think my son’s generation will be missing something by not getting to see the courage and perseverance of Holocaust survivors in person.

My uncle interviewee my grandfather who served in Italy during WWII, just months before his death 2 years ago, and I’m so grateful he did.

[…] I’ve not tried anything like this before, but as I read prompt 1 for this week’s writing workshop at Sleep is for the Weak, viz: 1. Take the time to talk to an elderly relative or friend and share with us a story of theirs. Or perhaps tell us a favourite story you remember being told by/about someone you have lost. – Inspired by New Day New Lesson’s beautiful and thought-provoking post reminding us to take the time to learn our heritage before it’s too late. […]

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