The premiere superhero team has been accused of separating its mutant members from the rest of the team.

Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Captain America has come under fire from both sides of the political spectrum after the recent announcement that a new Avengers team would be made up mainly of mutants. Right wing politicians, speaking at the Republican National Committee in Tampa, accused the Avengers of engaging in "reverse discrimination" by filling a set number of roster positions specifically set aside for mutants. Meanwhile, liberals have claimed that Captain America isn't doing enough to promote civil rights and has basically segregated his mutant staff from the larger Avengers cast.

The controversy arose over the weekend when a memo surfaced noting that Wolverine, a mainstay on every Avengers team, could no longer be counted multiple times. The memo was dated shortly before the announcement of the "Uncanny Avenger" team, leading many to believe that Captain America had formed the team as a way to fill some sort of quota set by the government and/or Marvel editorial staff.

Even more controversy arose when a source within the Avengers, who wished not to be named so that he wouldn't be turned into a villain in Marvel's next summer event, noted that Captain America had basically conscripted several mutants onto the team and then had placed Thor, a Aryan militant with a history of violence against mutants, on the team in order to keep them in line. "Maybe my bro-- Cyclops was right," said the source in an interview with cable news host Will McAvoy. "Captain America really doesn't care about mutants." The news enraged liberals, who demanded that mutant Avengers be given equal footing with their non-mutant peers.

Captain America responded to the controversy today during a press conference. "Obviously, this entire controversy is absurd," said the hero. "We hire heroes to do a job. We don't care whether they're mutant, black, women or white males. We simply hire the best people to do the job of saving people."

However, the hero seemed to falter when answering questions about the controversy. When asked if the new Uncanny Avengers team was a modern day equivalent to the Tuskegee Airman, a group of black pilots who served in a segregated unit, Captain America replied in the affirmative and noted that the unit was an example of "race relations done right."

Likewise, Captain America seemed unconcerned when asked if he considered Wolverine and Beast to be "Uncle Toms" for siding against the X-Men in a recent confrontation. "If you can be called an Uncle Tom for siding with the side of authority and honor, then I think there's a lot of Uncle Toms out there," he said.

Captain America added that the Avengers had extended an offer to Storm, one of only two female black mutants in the world, to join the team, but she had declined. "I'm surprised no one has brought up the fact the team's all white yet," he added with a nervous chuckle. The hero then declined to answer several questions about the lack of other minorities on the Uncanny Avengers team, noting only that the Avengers three black members were serving on another team. Whether that team is also segregated from the main Avengers group has not been determined.

This is not the first time the Avengers have come under fire for racial insensitivity. Most recently, the group received criticism for putting Luke Cage, a prominent African American superhero, in charge of the "Dark Avengers", a group of criminals. The Avengers had responded by noting that Luke Cage, much like fellow black Avenger The Falcon, was a former convict and was more equipped to deal with the problems faced by today's prison inmates. Still, Captain America insisted that his team was sensitive to race without resorted to mandatory hiring techniques. "The Avengers has members of every race, gender, culture, creed and sexual orientation," he said. "But we don't hire heroes just to keep up appearances, we hire them to save the world while gruffly interacting with the rest of the team before slowly gaining an appreciation for their teammates' inner nobility."

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About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.