We thought we would pose a few questions to Dee at The Therapy Rooms to find out how she came to be practising cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and psychotherapy.

How did you become a counsellor and psychotherapist?

My original career was in nursing, and becoming a counsellor was an accident, or some would call it fate. As a nurse, I was very interested in psychological health and wellbeing, as well as physical wellbeing, and this led me into a path of enquiry and curiosity about people and their problems. I have lots of experience in working within the NHS, charities and educational settings as a nurse, counsellor and manager and hold qualifications in all three disciplines as well as diplomas in Reflexology and Personal and Performance Coaching.

What do you enjoy about counselling and psychotherapy?

Being a counsellor and psychotherapist is an honour. I share moments which range from extremely painful, to sometimes hilariously funny with my clients. The biggest thing that I enjoy about my work is that I see people grow and come out of their stuckness and move forward in their lives to fulfil their full potential.

Who comes to see you for CBT and counselling?

I see individuals who sometimes just need a few sessions to overcome a simple problem, to individuals who might have extreme childhood traumas, issues, or baggage that they cannot shake off, and they do not want to share with anyone around them. A lot of my work involves contracting with occupational health companies, Medical Legal Companies and HR departments. I often see people who are experiencing work-related stress and bullying and help them overcome their difficulties and function better in the workplace. Many of my clients have anxiety, fear of speaking out or depression and they need help alongside pharmacological treatments to move forward and gain some insight into their illness. If a person, or sometimes a team, is psychologically stuck or in distress, CBT and counselling can help them.

What happens during a typical treatment?

In any treatment, there is always a treatment plan. Some people have seen television programmes showing counsellors nodding their heads and not saying anything in therapy. However, this is not my style. A typical treatment session would involve a two-way discussion, and sometimes some form of sharing of a piece of theory, or a strategy so that the person who is receiving treatment gains more understanding. CBT counselling and psychotherapy is not just about listening and sitting silently. It is about approaching a problem in a collaborative, inquisitive way to find old patterns that can be changed, sometimes cured, sometimes tweaked, to move forward.

Give us your five top health and wellbeing tips?

Listen to your inner voice – we all have an internal critical dialogue. When we have this critical dialogue it is sometimes very difficult to switch it off. If it continues, get professional help.

Stay in the moment – try not to worry about tomorrow or what’s at the end of the road. Stay in the now and you will eliminate a lot of stress from your life.

Share your knowledge – you may not realise it but you will have something that could help another person and no matter how small this might be share it with them, help them grow.

Stay objective – If someone is doing you a wrong or trying to undermine you, let it go. It’s about their inability to feel powerful rather than your powerlessness.

Be kind to yourself – not everyone is able to do this, but if you can tell yourself on a daily basis that you are okay, you are good enough, and you are capable, this can increase the sense of wellbeing.

What’s next for you?

I have been practising in the NHS and private practice for the past 10 years. My plan is to move some of this work towards the Pembrokeshire area, as I now live in Pembrokeshire full time. I am hoping that local businesses, HR companies, and occupational health companies will not only use my services but the services of the other health professionals at The Therapy Rooms Pembrokeshire, and I would invite anyone who wants to work with us to please come and see us as we are open, sharing and provide an environment of support and camaraderie that helps our clients and our colleagues thrive. The Therapy Rooms is about working together and providing a service to help others live their lives in a more peaceful and healthy manner.

Interview with Dee Phillips

An Interview with Dee Phillips, Cognitive Behavioural Therapist, Coach and Psychotherapist We thought we would pose a few questions to Dee at The Therapy Rooms to find out how she came to be practising cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and...

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When you’re unable to say no to others you may find yourself in a frustrating place where you people please and often put your own needs last. This behaviour is called ‘People Pleasing’ and people pleasing can make a person feel ill, depressed, anxious or stressed. Many of my clients present with this issue, and sessions are often focused on learning to be more assertive, and saying things in a way that aren’t aggressive, but make other people realise that you are firm and you have boundaries in place. One of the things that I often hear is that a person who people pleases is scared to upset others around them.

Being assertive isn’t about upsetting others, it is about saying things in a way that others understand that a boundary is in force, and having the skills to say things in a nice, polite way. You can learn these skills and practise ways of being more assertive with support.

Thinking Traps
WHY ME?????
Are you troubled by upsetting thoughts? Do you find it hard to see things positively? Do you dwell on the negative?How can thinking traps affect our mental health? Sometimes we tell ourselves what we feel about a situation is actually what is happening. The situation can then become distorted, and we only focus on the negative aspects—this is normal and expected. However, when we interpret situations too negatively, and continue to do so we may feel worse. We are also more likely to respond to the situation in ways that are unhelpful in the long term. This type of thinking can be called unhealthy or unbalanced thinking.Healthy thinking does not always mean positive thinking!! No one can look at things positively all the time. Sometimes bad things happen and it is normal to feel upset and have negative thoughts. Healthy thinking patterns means drawing out the positive, examining the negative, and the neutral parts and then making a conclusion about the whole situation in an informed way. In other words, healthy thinking means looking at situations in a balanced way, instead of looking at things in a negative way. We are most likely to distort our interpretation of things when we feel low, sad, angry, anxious, depressed or stressed.

Here are some of the most common thinking trapsOver generalizing
Thinking that a negative situation is just one of a never-ending cycle of bad things that happen. People who over generalize use words like “always” or “never” in their thinking
If it’s raining on the day you want to go for a bike ride, you might say: “Great! This always happens to me. Whenever I want to do something fun, something always happens to spoil it!”Black and White Thinking
Seeing things as either right or wrong, good or bad, perfect or terrible. People who think in black and white terms see a small mistake as a total failure.
If you are trying to make healthy eating choices and you have one bite from a piece of cake, a black and white thought might be: “Well, my healthy eating plan is a complete failure. I might as well eat the whole cake now.Catastrophising
Catastrophising occurs when we look to the future and anticipate all the things that are going to go wrong.
You are driving and you anticipate that all the traffic lights will be on red therefore making you late. You start to get stressed which makes you catastrophise moreFortune Telling
Predicting that something bad will happen, without any evidence
If you are going to a party, you think: “I know no one will talk to me at the party, and I’ll have a terrible time.” Maybe you are about to take a test or exam and you think: “I am going to fail.”‘Should’ Statements
Telling yourself how you “should” or “must” act or think.
If you are having problems coping with a very difficult situation, you are too hard on yourself and think: “I should be able to handle this without getting upset and crying.”Mental Filter
Focusing on the negative in a situation, and ignoring the good.
If you went to a party and talked to five different people, but one person didn’t talk to you, you think: “There must be something wrong with me. That guy didn’t talk to me.” In this example, you are forgetting about all the people who did talk to you.

Alcohol -Contrary to popular belief alcohol does not enable us to have a good sleep. Alcohol irritates the nervous system thus causing hypersensitivity and preventing relaxation.

Caffeine – stimulates the nervous system. You should aim to reduce your caffeine intake early evening. Caffeine stays in the body for an average of 2-5 hors after consumption.

Tea -tea contains a caffeine that effects sleep. Most people are astounded when I tell them this. If you have a heart problem avoiding tea as well as coffee may be advised by your consultant.

Food – not only certain types of food may affect you but either being too full or bloated or being hungry can cause you to have a broken nights sleep. Make sure you eat until you are comfortable if you are hungry late evening. Try to choose a light meal.

Stress – stress can cause negative thoughts or worries. Make sure you keep a pad of paper next to the bed to write down thoughts or worries you may have. If you are worried about stuff you have to do at the office,e-mail yourself at the office with a reminder to yourself . When you open your mail in the morning the list of to do’s will be right there in your inbox.

Cigarettes -cigarettes cause psychological and physical cravings. some people wake during the night for to top up their nicotine fix.

Full bladder – if you want to go to toilet you will not settle and sleep. go to the toilet before bed even if you don’t have the urge to , not only will you be physically more comfortable but you will also psychologically relax because you have been.

Bad routine– our body is a clever machine. Just as we produce adrenaline to fight and run we need to reverse this process and let our bodies recognise relaxation is about to take place. this increases serotonin which assists regulation of sleep. Try to have a good routine before bed. Play soft music, dim the lights, avoid watching TV, do some relaxation techniques, count backwards.

]]>http://www.insearchofself.co.uk/help-with-insomnia/feed/0How to monitor racing thoughtshttp://www.insearchofself.co.uk/how-to-monitor-racing-thoughts/
http://www.insearchofself.co.uk/how-to-monitor-racing-thoughts/#respondTue, 24 Aug 2010 21:52:40 +0000http://www.insearchofself.co.uk/?p=296Many people suffer from racing thoughts. The technical term for this is Cognitive Dissonance. In lay mens terms Cognitive Dissonance is a series of thoughts which may cause you to feel confused and sometimes unable to cope.

So how can a person manage or even stop their racing thoughts?

Well interestingly enough a human can only think one thought at a time but it can feel that the thoughts are jumbled up or coming all at once.

Often many different thoughts will link to the same problem even if you don’t first think this is the case.

The first step to managing or controlling your thoughts is to monitor what the thoughts are saying. Once you have done this, you will be able to analyse whether the thoughts are linked to a specific problem or whether you are having different thoughts but essentially they all mean the same thing.

Exercise for monitoring thoughts

1) Self expression

Using a mobile phone or a recording device , speak out the thoughts you are experiencing. Do not censor them just let them flow. Say the thoughts as they go through your mind. At this stage do not try to analyse the thoughts, just let them flow and keep flowing until you feel you have enough material to play the recording.

Revisit the recording and write down the thoughts on a piece of paper.

Once this is done have analyse whether the thoughts are similar or if there is a pattern to them that might be fuelling a negative downward spiral.

2) Listing the thoughts

With a piece of paper and a pen , sit in a quiet space and let your mind flow. As your mind thinks about a situation write down everything that you are thinking….. BE HONEST ….write them all down no matter how big ,bad or ugly they are. Once you have done this exercise revisit the list and look for patterns of thinking. Are the thoughts are similar or do they link together.

You are looking for a HOT thought ….. we will discuss this in more details tomorrow.

]]>http://www.insearchofself.co.uk/how-to-monitor-racing-thoughts/feed/0Letting go of distressing thoughts – Blackboard techniquehttp://www.insearchofself.co.uk/letting-go-of-distressing-thoughts-blackboard-technique/
http://www.insearchofself.co.uk/letting-go-of-distressing-thoughts-blackboard-technique/#commentsMon, 23 Aug 2010 18:11:28 +0000http://www.insearchofself.co.uk/?p=290We all have times when we are worried about something or we just can’t get something off our mind. Have you ever gone t bed and replayed a specific scenario or situation over and over in oyur head until it bothers you so much you can’t sleep or you can’t switch it off.

To manage these thoughts or intrusions we can employ a series of techniques. Each perosn is unique and what might be helpful for you may not be helpful for another person. It is wirth noting when trying these techniques that if it doesn’t work for you , all is not lost its just you may react differently and experimenting with different techniques will help you find whats good for you.

Let me give you the example of a doctor who prescribes a tablet. The doctor might find that certain patients don’t react well to one particular tablet but they do to another. Self hep pr self guided techniques are similar. For the purpose of todays guided imagery , lets look at the blackboard technique.

I would like you are having an intrusive or a negative thought .

1) Close your eyes and imagine you are writing the thought on a blackboard.

2) Now take the board rubber and rub it out, clean the board.

Repeat this until you find yourself distracted or another thought replaces the thought you had written on the board.

This technique can also be helpful if you are a worrier and are worrying and fixated on a specific topic or situation.

]]>http://www.insearchofself.co.uk/letting-go-of-distressing-thoughts-blackboard-technique/feed/2Bullying at workhttp://www.insearchofself.co.uk/bullying-at-work/
http://www.insearchofself.co.uk/bullying-at-work/#respondFri, 20 Aug 2010 10:14:52 +0000http://www.insearchofself.co.uk/?p=274I am often asked the question …. Am I being bullied or am I just going mad. This is an interesting question. A few weeks ago I met a person who thought they were going mad due to the pressures and stresses of thier worklife. The person percevied they were going mad but their friends felt they were being bullied. People in orgnanisations play games , these games may be concious or subconsciuos. one such game goes like this:

The game of – I want to help

For this example we will call them Mr A and Mr B

Mr A is a hard worker and works hard for their employer.

Mr B wants Mr A’s job.

Mr B sees Mr A struggling with work load but instead of asking if he needs help. Mr B tells the other workmates that he is worried about Mr A and thinks he is suffering from stress and not coping.

Mr A gives Mr B some work related tasks to complete but he fails to complete them.

The workmates all approach Mr A offering sympathy and concern.

Mr A feels as though his workmates don’t trust him and loses his confidence, he starts to make mistakes. He doesn’t tell anyone because he fears he will be seen as weak. Afterall everyone thinks he is weak as they are constantly asking if he’s ok and Mr B is fueling this situation. Mr A starts to suffer from panic attacks, his decision making is affected, he stops sleeping at night and worrries and sweats the small stuff. He is evidently suffering from work related stress but everyone around him thinks he’s losing his mind. He thinks he is too.

Mr B steps up the game and tells Mr A he is worried about him as he thinks he is suffering form stress at work, he asks him to give him some of his work so he can HELP.

Mr A fears doing this as this would prove he is not coping and he has already given Mr B some tasks that he has not completed , which Mr A was supposed to deliver to higher managers and hasn’t so has lost credibility. All this on top of the fact everyone thinks he is losing his marbles.

Mr B accuses him of being a control freak and not working as part of the team, Mr B ensures he tells everyone else about this and they all buy into the game.

Mr A becomes more defensive, vulnerable and angry but he feels trapped. Others around him stop supporting him and start to side with Mr B, after all Mr B has Mr A’s interest at heart and Mr A is blanking him…. poor Mr B this is so stressful for him, he’s having a very hard time.

Mr A goes off sick with work related stress and leaves Mr B to take over his role.

BREATHING TECHNIQUES – EMERGENCY BREATHING

When we are in a high state of anxiety or panic, our breathing becomes more rapid and shallow, causing us to take in far more oxygen than we actually need. As a result, lots of physical and emotional symptoms can follow, causing us to feel like we are no longer in control. In order to control and reverse this process, it is important to be able to regulate your breathing and engage your ‘braking’ system.

Technique 1

Breathe in through your nose for the count of 3

Breathe out through your mouth for the count of 3.

You may find this difficult at first, but keep thinking about it whilst you try as this will distract you from the panic attack. As you improve with your cycle, try counting slower until your symptoms have eased and you feel relaxed. If possible always make sure you are sitting down.

Technique 2

This technique should follow technique No.1 or be used if feeling stressed or worried.

Breathe in through your nose for the count of 3- hold and pause for 3

Breathe out through your mouth for the count of 3- hold and pause for 3

Repeat whole process.

Technique 3

This technique can be used following the initial 3 x 3 technique, if this is proving to be ineffective. This is may be helpful to use if you are experiencing intermittent waking during the night. Repeat 4-5 times only.

Breathe in through your nose for the count of 7

Breathe out through your mouth for the count of 11.

NB This technique should only be used if lying down in a safe comfortable place.

DIAPHRAGMATIC BREATHING

To practice diaphragmatic breathing:

Lie on your back with the palms of your hands placed on your lower stomach area. Make sure that the tips of your middle fingers are just touching.

As you breathe in, expand your abdomen (your diaphragm muscle) so that your stomach rises, and then falls with each breath out. Your chest should remain relatively still (it will expand a little bit) and your shoulders should remain relaxed and not ‘heave’ up.