Monthly Archives: November 2015

Here we are getting ready for the year-end holidays. Thanksgiving is around the corner and Christmas isn’t far behind.

There are so many mixed emotions at this time; so much anticipation. We hope for the positive and pray the negative won’t hit us.

Family dynamics – Will I get it all done? Do I have enough money for gifts? Will everyone get along? It’s so busy already. How am I going to get everything done? How will my family react to my new girlfriend or boyfriend?

Then we’re hit with a real life tragedy – Beirut and Paris, France. I was in Paris maybe 35 years ago. What fun, what beauty and what excitement I experienced on my first trip to Paris. I had the good fortune to assist in workshops in Neims and Paris. I loved the people, the place. I haven’t been to Beirut, but I’m still touched by what they also experienced.

It feels like another 911 in my heart. It’s hard to reconcile. My heart cries out for what those people are going through. We know it all too well. Our own catastrophe hit us many years ago.

So how do we come to terms with creating amazing holidays and still deal with the reality of what just happened?

Prior to the past couple of events, I was going to put out another list of Holiday Tips. But somehow it doesn’t feel quite so relevant at the moment. Every time I watch the news, I am hit by the event, the images, the people, the suffering. I have all these mixed emotions jumbled together in my body. It really doesn’t feel so good.

I have a hunch many of you are going through a mixture of feelings as well. It just shows that life is a bit of a rollercoaster; even when it is supposed to be the happiest time of the year.

Here are some tips to help cope with the ups and downs during the holiday season:

Focus on what is important. If your family or friends are most important to you, then focus on them. Let go of being the perfectionist or trying to please Aunt Tilly. Take some time to meditate on what you most want to feel and experience during the holidays. For me, it’s love and connection with my family and friends. Focus on the love, the warmth, peace and JOY you want to feel. Once you’re clear on what is significant for you, the other priorities can more easily fall into place.

Take really good care of you by loving you. The stress of the holidays can take its toll– traveling, cooking, cleaning, buying the right gifts, bringing the right food to events, getting the cards done (I’ve given that one up.) Allow yourself the privilege of doing things good enough, not perfect — just good enough for now. If you have that connection with your people, they won’t care so much about the details and perfection. Get plenty of rest, eat healthy for your body most of the time, eat the right amount for you (you already know how terrible it feels when you overeat.)

Balance you. Make sure to leave time for those special activities that keep you feeling balanced.

Do something for your body like yoga, exercise, dancing or running. Do a physical activity daily even if it’s only 5 minutes walking around the block or jogging in place. It gets the endorphins going, which will keep you in a better mood the rest of the day.

Include something for your mind and emotions such as releasing those negative and lower level thoughts, beliefs and events that will have you overreacting from past events instead of being in the present, in the NOW. There are numerous techniques for transforming emotions and beliefs: hypnosis, EFT, visualizations to name a few.

Remember to do something for your spirit. Take the time to go inside and realize what the holidays actually mean for you. What do you want to bring forth this holiday? How do you want to affect those around you? Energy is contagious and affects those around you. Decide what energy and feeling you want to bring to the events you attend at this time. Meditate, mindfulness meditation, pray, chant, yoga, spirit dance, do a ritual, blessings – Do whatever it is that takes you to a loving, deep place inside you. Then from that loving depth of beauty that is truly you, share that feeling wherever you go.

To turn around negative anticipation for the holidays, tragedies and anything in life, deal with your own Shadow, your own dark side. So what do I mean by the Shadow? The holiday shadow would be any negative feelings coming up for you such as anger, irritation, resentment, dislike or even hatred regarding anyone you may see or think about at a holiday event. That negative energy will affect that person or persons so they react to your energy even if you do not express it verbally.

For example, if you, your sister, or anyone have had a big disagreement and it is still not over between you, it is up to you to get to what wound underneath got triggered, what part of you is still holding on to that emotion, release the emotion and decide what emotion you would rather feel. Once you release the negative emotion, fill yourself up with the positive emotions you choose to experience.

That may sound strange to some of you, but I can assure you it works. It may not work in a day or two, but over time it will.

There are times before family events, I will meditate and do a healing on me for at least a half an hour in order to transform my emotion. It is up to you to choose how you want to feel during this time.

Send prayers and blessings to those going through difficulties, suffering or tragedies of any kind. Your prayers and blessings make a difference. It has been scientifically proven. Let us all send prayers to those who have lost a person or were injured in any way from these tragic events or any personal tragedy. Focus on what you feel grateful for at this time. It adds to the prayers and blessings.

It’s even more imperative that we focus on creating the love and peace we desire from the deepest place in our own hearts.

I know it’s easy to go to hating those who created this tragedy, but I want to remind you.

I signed up for a great new writing class and I was so excited to meet for the first writing session so I can work on my About Me Page for my website revision.

I’ve been on many webinars, so this one is no problem – I thought. I even got on it 15 minutes before the start of the class. Plenty of time, right? It should be a breeze.

Wrong!!! This one was on zoom.us. It asked for an application and GoToMeeting came up so I clicked on it. Oh no, I couldn’t get into the group room. The dang computer rejected the code I had for the class. I tried a few more times to no avail. This sucks!

I even emailed the class assistant, but she didn’t get back to me. Well, she did a bit later, but not immediately. She kindly wrote back she’d help me on the Facebook page.

But I couldn’t find the FB page on the materials we received. Now I know it’s there. There it goes, BRAIN FREEZE because I’m upset and stressed. I’m sure the Facebook link will be staring me in the face later, but not now when I need it.

“If only I were 30 years younger, I’d get all this stuff easily, but I’m not. They’re not going to want me in the writing program. I can’t even figure out how to get on the call.

I called in by phone even if that’s not good enough in my mind. After all I like fully taking part of everything when I join something.

There I go down the rabbit hole of ‘I’m just not good enough, or I’d get it, or even find the Facebook link.’” Blah, blah, blah.

There goes the whip, in my own hand. I’m going down the familiar miserable spiral into Inner Hell. How much longer do I need to beat me up before I realize I CAN stop this?

Ok, I CAN SHIFT THIS. After all, that’s what I help people do all the time. I’m not going to waste my time any more. I’m going to make this work, somehow.

All right. Nothing else to do to quiet this feeling except to meditate and connect in with my guides, and Higher Self. That’s better than to keep feeling sh&#ty the rest of the day about this.

I probably should have meditated before the class. There I go again, not good enough because I didn’t meditate prior to the class.

So I meditated and feel a little better. Forget writing the About Me Page. Write about how I feel right now, since nothing else will actually work.

That is exactly what I did. I wrote the above section of this blog. That actually does feel better.

Really now, what else can I expect from a Recovering Perfectionist. At least this time I didn’t beat me up for hours or days, or even months like I used to do whenever I screwed up. This time it was only 12 minutes.

Hip, hip hurray for a Recovering Perfectionist.

And now, of course, I just found the email to the facebook forum. I will get into the group room by next week. I’m taking a big deep breath to let go even more.

I will be ok. I am ok. I am fine. I truly feel wonderful. I’m proud of myself for gently pushing the old perfectionist pattern away by transforming the energy and choosing to take the higher road.

I’m so grateful for my guides, my Higher Self and God.

If this Recovering Perfectionist learned how to transmute that lower level energy, so can you!

The following version of my Healing Visualization is what I did in order to feel better and be able to write this blog.